Bleach, Naruto 1. Chapter 1

I dont own Naruto or bleach

The third Hokage sighed as he started the all seeing ball for the jounins in his office to see who they had for students. Today would have been the day he would have become a gennin if he had not disappeared 7 years ago.

Flashback

It was October 10 and the third Hokage had just taken Naruto to the Hospital after another beating from the villagers. He was talking to the guards at the door when the alarms for the machines inside Naruto room went off.

He busted throught the door and discovered the sheets to the bed pulled back and Naruto was gone. A note was on the pillow. He walked over and read it.

**You should have done a better job, be ready for hell when he returns.**

was all it said.

He sent out teams to find him but they discovered nothing.

End flashback

He put on a fake smile and put his pipe in his mouth and said "Well lets look at your students, shall we since you 3 were all on missions yesterday when I showed the others." as he leaned back and it showed Sakura and Ino fighting over Sasuke.

A voice that startled the three sensies that was in the room and the Hokage himself said "Nice bodies, though they need to learn to tone thier voices down. You on the other hand miss would be fun."

Everyone looked around for the person who said it and was suprised to see a blond hair person wearing sunglasses and a black outfit about 13 years old standing on the cealing next to Kurenai.

The Hokage jumped to his feet when three kunias appeared at the blond hair kids neck and he said "Who are you and how did you get in my office."

The blond started to chuckle and he said "Dad was right, you would forget all about the boy you were suppose to protect old man." He then disappeared and reappeared in the Hokages chair with his feet on his desk and said "The names Naruto Uzumaki Kazama and me and my parents are returning to the leaf village." with a smile on his face ignoring the shocked look on everyones face.

The third paled and then regained his composer and said "Thats a nice story but Naruto Uzumaki disappeared 7 years ago and he was not a Kazama."

Naruto smiled and held up his hand and started taking fingers away from 5. When he got to 0 the door burst open and several council members ran in and blocked the door with chairs looking like hell was on thier asses.

Naruto said "Did mom and dad scare the shit out of you idiots that bad." making the council members turn slowly and start opening the door only to stop as the two people on the other side of the door were smiling at them.

Kakashi eyes were wide and The third dropped his pipe and said "Arashi, is that you."

Arashi smiled and said "Hey old man, sorry about having to lie to you all those years ago but we had to go spend some time in soul society to get everything straightened out when we had to kill that Hollow. Told you to be ready for hell when he came back."

An arrow of energy hit the area right above Danzos head and everyone looked and Naruto had what looked like a bow of energy coming out of his hand that dissapeared a moment later after he said "Nice discuise Hollow. It sucks worse then the one I killed last night, I bet you can tell by my attack what I am."

Danzo looked at Naruto and said "I thought we killed the last of your kind 200 years ago."

The woman beside Arashi said "You did, except for the ones that were in soul society where I met Arashi, a soul reaper and we decided to come live here on the earth agian." as she held a similar bow of energy in her hand pulled back ready to fire.

Arashi sighed and said "Do you both have to torcher the hollows before we kill them."

Together Naruto and the woman said "Hell Yeah." making everyone sweatdrop.

The third finally got some order in his head and said "Hold it. What is going on and why are you threatening a member of my council and why are the rest of them here and how are you alive and who is this woman beside you Arashi."

Arashi popped something in his mouth and he fell to the floor only a moment later Danzo cried out in pain and his body changed shape and his face changed into a white mask that was cut in half as he disappeared in flames.

A few seconds later Arashi stood back up and spit out a wierd looking pill that he put in his pocket and smiled before walking in past the scared looking council members.

The woman walked in behind him and took a seat on his lap and Naruto said "So sexy, got a name." looking at Kurenai.

Everyone looked at him increadably and Kurenai stalked over at him and picked him up by his shirt with both hands and said "Who do you think you a..." anything else she would have said stop when Naruto lowered his sunglasses a little and made eye contact with her.

Kurenai eyes glazed over a few moments before she started to pant a little and then looked flush and then a few moment latter started saying "Yes, harder, harder, faster faster faster, Im going to ccccccuuuuuummmmmmm Naaaarrrrruuuuttttttoooookkkkkuuuuunnnn." and she got weak in the knees and fell to the floor panting heavy as Naruto pushed his sunglasses back up smiling while both of his parents shook thier heads.

The woman said "You know son, you should not use that bloodline for fun on just any woman."

Naruto sighed and said "I know mom but I could tell she was horny and single so I thought I would make her happy. Besides, you know I like screamers"

Naruto mom shook her head and slapped Arashi who said "Blame research and developement for giving it to him Anna." as he held her close.

Kurenai slowly looked up at Naruto and after a few moments stood up on shaky legs and slapped him before going and pulling him in a kiss before she fell back down but this time on Naruto lap.

Asuma dropped his cigerette and asked "What the hell just happened and what the hell is going on."

Arashi looked at the council members he chased in here and said "Do you really need to hear it agian and do I get to scare the shit out of you all some more."

The 6 council members left in a hurry probably to leave town also.

Naruto asked "Was any of the clans there dad."

Arashi said "No. I had only sent word for the council members that I was pissed at so the clan heads are still in the dark. Anyways, where do you want us to start." looking at the people in the room.

Kakashi finally got his voice and picked up his book after dropping it when he saw Kurenai orgasm and said "How are you alive sensie."

Arashi smiled and said "Well, It all started back before I was even born or should I say reborn. You see, when people die they go to a place called soul society until they are sent back to earth. In soul society there are people who are like the ninja of the city that protect the souls there from creatures called Hollows. These people are called Deathgods or as you know them as Shinigamis. I was one of them until I met Anna here."

Anna took over and said "On earth in the past the Hollow were becoming more and more dangerous so some humans learned and develop ways to kill Hollows. These humans are called Quincy. I was a Quincy but because of the way we kill Hollows we usually do not get along with Deathgods. Somehow Arashi and I did and we fell in love. We decided we wanted to have a family so we signed up to go back to earth."

Arashi took over and said "That was a problem because with the knowledge we had of Hollows and Deathgods we had to have restrictions put on us and that meant we were not allowed to fight Hollows with our powers. Theres where the problem comes in."

Naruto took the chance and said "What the problem was is that creature that everyone refers to as Kyuubi was not what it appeared to be. When a larger group of Hollows merge together they form what is known as a Menos grande. That creature that attacked that night was one of them."

Arashi sighed and said "Anna here had Naruto and we knew that with the spirit energy Naruto was putting off it would only be a few hours before it found him and ate him so we both came up with a plan after we saw what it looked like. Anna used a weapon that she made and put those 6 whiskers on Naruto face to make the story more believable and I drew a fake seal on his stomach and we both broke the restrictions we had put on us and used our skills to stop and kill the Hollow. An observer from soul society saw us do it so we were forced to go back and pay for the crime we commited. I told you I would have to give my soul to the deathgod so that way you would protect our son for us Saratobi until we could come back. I never would have thought the village would have done what they did. The first time in history all 13 captians and thier subordinates requested one mission from our council. The eradication of the leaf village." making everyone but the Kazamas pale.

Asuma after getting some composure back said "So your telling us that that creature was not the demon Kyuubi from legends but something else and that that seal you drew on Naruto is a fake."

Arashi said "Well, not exactly fake. You see, even though we knew we would get caught he still would have been easy pickins for a hollow to devour so we sealed most of his spirit energy away. The red energy that he sometimes showed was the mixture of Retsu and Chakra. Restu is the main energy of a Shinigami and Quincy. It also powered the healing spells we put on him to protect him that healed his **wounds.**" with venom in his voice.

Naruto cleared his throught as Kurenai was asleep in his arms and he said "So, what do I need to do to become a ninja for this hell hole." making the other ninjas flinch.

The third asked "Well, what skills do you have."

This got a snort from Naruto, Arashi, and Anna.

Anna said "Naruto may look like a normal 13 year old kid but with the training he has done as well as the things we along with a few souls taught him he would really impress you."

Naruto said "I dont want to tell them to much yet. I want to find some girls and have a good time."

Anna slapped her head and looked at her husband and said "You really had to get your damn sensie to let him read every one of those damn books, didnt you."

Naruto said "I was perverted before that mom. Remember the Banga twins."

Arashi chuckled and said "That was when you were trying out your bloodline. Man that was helarious."

Anna sighed and said "No it was not. He used those damn eyes on every single woman who was not in love with someone else in soul society. The 4th squad captian had to order emergency medical rations to get all those woman back to health afterwards."

Kakashi asked "What exactly does those eyes do."

Naruto smirked evily and said "Anything I can actually do fisically I can make a person experience except for killing. If I looked you in the eyes and used them and thought of hitting you with a Katon jutsu, your body would make the wound appear on your body. For each second I look at you seems like an actual hour. It only works on those who are weaker minded then me."

Arashi chuckled at that and said "With and IQ of 250+ almost everyone in the universe is weaker then you son."

Naruto chuckled and said "I cant help you turned me loose on 10 different libraries after I learned Kagebunshins."

Anna snorted and said "We never thought you would make 1000+ Kagebunshins at a time

Asuma dropped his cigerette as he looked at Naruto and Kurenai started to moan as she woke up and cuddled closer to Naruto neck.

Naruto cleared his throught and Kurenai looked up to his face and then around the room before the memory of what happen hit her and her position did also and she jumped off of him and landed on her feet and asked "What happen."

Naruto smiled and said "Dont you remember what I let you experience"

Kurenai eyes glossed over as the memory flashed in her head.

Flash the memory

Kurenai had just looked into Naruto eyes when her world turned black for a moment before coming back and Naruto was no longer in front of her but behind her with his hand on her stomach rubbing it softly as he kissed her neck. He worked his way up to her ear and nibble on it and asked "Do you want me to make you feel like the woman you are." as he turned her around and kissed her passionately.

Kurenai started to return the kiss and Naruto picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him. He reached under her skirt and ripped her panties off as she undid his pants and he pushed her agianst the wall in the office as he looked into her eyes asking for permission.

She nodded and gasped a little as he enter her and then he took strong deep thrust into her. She started to pant as he picked up his pace and she could feel herself getting closer as her breath picked up. She then felt very close and she said "Yes, harder, harder, faster faster faster, Im going to ccccccuuuuuummmmmmm Naaaarrrrruuuuttttttoooookkkkkuuuuunnnn." as she felt herself explode as he pumped into her enough to last her orgasm. Her world went black agian as she woke back up in the office and her legs collapsed. It felt like that really happened.

End memory

She looked at Naruto and asked "Was that real."

Naruto said "Your body believes it was. Its what I could do miss..."

Kurenai smiled and blushed and said "Kurenai."

Naruto smile and said "It was a pleasure to meet you Kur-hime." as he turned and looked at the rest of the room.

Asuma leans over and ask "What happen to you."

Kurenai smiled and blushed and said "I died and went to heaven."

Kakashi smirked behind his mask and said "It sounded like cloud nine to us though with what you said." making her blush even more.

The third sighed and said "Well, what are your plans Arashi."

Arashi said "We are moving back into our clan estates and Naruto is wanting to become a ninja so he can find enough woman to satisfy his lusteye and restore our clan."

Kakashi said "Will you both be helping with that." pevertedly

Anna smiled a small smile and said "We cant. Our actual human bodies were burried when we went to soul society. These are the bodies that we use Deathgods come to the human world to take care of Hollows. It a standard body that changes to look like the person who is inside of it. We can use our powers and chakra that we would have since they are both basically spirit based anyway."

Arashi said "I am taking over my clans head seat and Anna will be helping whoever Naruto finds to marry and have a family with along with us hunting hollows whenever soul society sends us missions. I will also go on the reserve list like all clan heads but Naruto will be starting as a gennin. The only jutsu you need to know he knows are replacement, henge, and Kagebunshins. With all the power he has regular bunshins are impossible for him."

The third nodded and thought for a moment and said "So, which one of you want him."

Three hands went up and he sighed and said "Why do I have this job."

Naruto was looking at the paperwork on the thirds desk and said "why is your desk so messy."

Arashi and the third looked at him and Arashi said "It that way with all the duties of a Hokage."

Naruto nodded and created 5 Kagebunshins and they looked through all the mission papers and orginized them and then a few moments later puff them away and said "There you are all better and you might want to read that letter from the firelord agian. It looks like he wants to make some improvements in the leaf village but you have a coffee stain on it."

Arashi and the third both slapped thier heads at what just hit them and Naruto smirked. He loved making people feel like idiots.

The third said "We will just make you a special gennin so you can do missions with all the teams that pass."

Naruto nodded and said "I also have to do missions for soul society if they come up but I will inform you or whoever my sensies is at the time. They usually have to be taken care of right then so we dont have another incident like we did when I was born. The Hollows that come after the ones that size are really a pain in the ass so we have to keep them from getting together."

Asuma asked "What exactly are Hollows anyways."

Anna said "Souls that were currupted and ate by other hollows that were evil. If a soul does not cross over after they pass away they can be attacked by Hollows and after they are ate they become a new hollow so instead of one hollow and one soul you have 2 hollows. Our jobs are to help spirits make it to soul society were they will be safe of to destroy hollows and based on what they did while alive they either goto soul society or hell. All evil they do are forgiven if we kill them like Deathgods. If we destroy them like quincy they just die. end of story." with a smile on her face.

The third nodded and said "Ok Naruto. The accademy is one block from the hospital. Do you remember where that is." Naruto nodded and the third wrote something and said "Goto room 211 and give that to a man named Iruka and he will know what to do."

Naruto grabbed the paper and dissapeared from sight and Kakashi asked "What was that. Hiraishin."

Anna and Arashi both burst out laughing and Arashi said "Nope. That was flashstep. Naruto is the 3rd fastest in soul society."

Asuma asked "Where are you."

Arashi stopped laughing and looked everyone in the eyes and said "12th fastest. I am a 10 seat in the 11th division of the Shinigami. Anna here is 12th seat and directly under me."

Kurenai asked "What about Naruto."

Anna looked at everyone and said "3rd seat directly under Captian Kenpachi Zaraki and Lt Yachiru Kusajishi. He proved himself several time and after Ikkaku Madarame was injured he took up the third seat. Truth is he is actually at a captian level but he dont want to mess with that until he can beat the only person stronger then him, Ichigo Kurosaki in a dual."

Asuma asked "how strong is this Ichigo guy."

Arashi said "He could kill ten of those Menos Grande at the same time and win. Naruto can win agianst 6 and win. Dont underestimate him if he ever removes his zanpakuto or sword as you would call it from its sheath. Unlike me and most of the other deathgods. We have to get out of our physical bodies and fight like I did earlier where normal human eyes cant see. Naruto and Ichigo are among the few that dont have to. They have become so powerful all they have to do is think of it and it will appear or as I figure Naruto will do now that he is done showing off here he will carry his around. If he does remove it from its sheath, somethings about to die." very serious.

Anna said "Well thats enough for the day. We need to get our home ready so Naruto can see it when he get back today. Cya." and they both left with no trace they were thier flashstepping."


	2. Chapter 2

Iruka was sighing as he finished the last team when a figure appeared in his classroom out of thin air. He looked at the figure and he was dressed all in black and had a sword on his side and had blond hair and whiskers wearing sunglasses. Where did he know someone like that...it hit him a moment later but knew not to say what he was thinking in case that law was still in effect and said "Can I help you."

Naruto looked over at the class and remembered what he was really here for.

Flashback soul society.

Naruto stood before the 13 captians and the lt. and he said "So what am I here for exactly."

Ichigo stepped forward and said "As you know after the council was killed and we had to deal with the last master Hollow that the captians have been running around without any sign of getting ahead. The commanders have been acting as council to keep everything under control however that limits our power since we cant order, train, rest from battles and do missions at the same time."

Naruto nodded and said "I am aware of that but I dont see how this has to do with me."

Cpt. Kenpachi stepped forward and said "And as you also know that most of the experienced fighters are limited to those of the 13 squads. All accademy students have not actually faught any hollows because of no one to safeguard them while doing it becuase we have all been to busy. You know that better than anyone seeing as how many you have had to deal with personally. Since the great war on earth and the following fallout the number of humans have went down to the earth is up but the population has decreased from 10 billion to close to 1 billion and the number of Hollows have increased by almost the same difference. If we cant get those souls that have become Hollows purrified and sent back the earth is doomed."

Naruto acting like a kid pointed his finger at his captain and said "Thats the most you ever said without talking about fighting since I have known you."

Cpt. Mayuri stepped forward and said "Quit acting like a child Naruto. You know exatly what we are talking about."

Naruto sighed and said in a serious voice "You need to lighten up Mayuri. I of coarse have heard that you are wanting to form a new council to take the place of the old 46th and also want to start new divisions but with the lack of experienced soul reapers that we cant do it. So what is it the council wishes for me to do."

Ishida stepped forward and said "We have discussed it Naruto and with the help of the new Gigai research and developement made along side help from Commander Kisuke after the discovery with your body that we will be able to do more. As for what you are here for you are to return to the earth and especially that hell hole called Konoha and look for new recruits for up to 2 more divisions. In doing so we can finally get the time to train the accademy students and then we can replace the council giving the original 13 squads a chance to rest and then return to solving the hollow epicdimic. As our surveliance squads last count they outnumber us 1000 to 1. Use the side power of the eyes you got and look for possible recruits. The two new squads will be lead by you and your father Naruto."

Arashi stepped forward and said "So it is like I heard. We are planning on taking the offensive, but why Konoha."

Ichigo stepped forward and said "Yes. My teams replaced the squad 5 that was nearly exterminated after we became full time soul reapers. When we give you and Naruto teams enough time to get battle ready we will take care of the heavy hitters while you get those two teams up to speed as soon as possible. As for why Konoha. We reviewed the battle in which you and your wife were forced to use your powers and we notice that several ninja from there were actually able to hurt it some. With the right training they could really help us. After that then we retake the earth and then take the fight there."

Naruto sighed and said "So how many people do we want for the squads."

Cpt. Jushiro said "We want at least 2 full squads. If you can find more then that then so be it. Also we want you to find some woman to marry."

Naruto looked at him mouthed agape and asked "Why."

Ichigo said "So you will leave the rest of the souls alone naruto. Your little test with your eyes singlehandedly created something we had got rid of years ago. Rapid fan girls. By you getting 1,2 or 10 wifes then we dont have to worry about them anymore. They think all the people of captian level have that eye Naruto and it is like getting mobbed when we go and try to recruit for the accademy."

Naruto smiled and said "Rukie threatened to castrate you agian, huh." making everyone laugh.

A voice said "You have your orders Cpt. Naruto and Cpt. Arashi with Lt. Anna will go as a team. Cpt Arashi and Lt. Anna will take the new gigai bodies but act as though they were the old ones until you have to. Until you return you are to state you are only at your previous ranks so any drones that might go by undetected wont know what we have planned. While you are gone we will prepare here and dont be afraid to call for backup should the need arise. How you go about your mission is totally up to you so have fun dealling with those assholes."

Naruto and Arashi said "Hia. Commander Yoruichi" as they bowed and left.

End flashback

Naruto looked at them all and said "Names Naruto Kazama and I was told to give this to you." as he handed the paper.

Iruka looked at Naruto wide eyed at the Kazama name and asked "Who are you."

Naruto said "Naruto Kazama, son of Arashi Kazama and Anna Kazama. We all 3 just return from a secret mission for the Hokage."

Iruka fell on his but and said "But the Yondaime died fighting Kyuubi."

Naruto said "Nope, all a lie. If you would like you can come by the Kazama estates later unless you are one of the idiots of this hell hole who thought I was something else. Then I can just kick your ass. As for what I am here for now I was given special placement with all three rookie team under Kakashi, Asuma and Kurenai. Now if you will excuse me I grow bored and I see eye candy in the room." walking past Iruka and taking a seat near the top of the class.

Iruka was flabergasted and looked at the note and grew even more shocked and said "I see you are correct. As I had said your sensies will be here to meet you shortly." as he walked out of the class going to find a bar.

Kiba turned and looked at him and said "Whats up with you man."

Naruto looked around the room and said "trying to find a woman to take home tonight."

Ino walked up and said "And why would any woman want to go home with you."

Naruto smiled and said "I can have any woman I want. I just have to give her the look."

Sakura said "What shit are you talking about."

Ino said "Yeah, no woman would fall for you after a look."

Naruto said "look into my eyes and say that blondie."

Ino got right into his face and grabbed his sunglasses and yanked them off and stopped as she locked eyes with him. After a few moments she said "Yes Naruto-sama, may I have another. Yes Naruto-sama may I have another." and continued to say it over and over and she would squeeze her but everytime she said it. Finally after about 10 seconds Naruto put his glasses back on and Ino blinked a few times and said "Thank you Narutosama, I will try and be a good girl now."

Naruto smiled and said "So what is your name."

Ino bowed and said "Ino Narutosama."

Naruto nodded and said "If Ino is ever a naughty girl agian I will be more then happy to punish you." with a smile on his face.

Ino nodded and said "Yes Narutosama." as she turned and tried to sat down in a seat but her but told her it was soar so she had to sit on her knees.

Kiba finally got over his shock and asked "What the hell did you do to her man."

Naruto chuckled and said "Thats the look. If you know how to use it you can make any woman yours."

Sakura said "But I looked into your eyes and they looked normal blue and I did not feel anything."

Naruto looked at her through his glasses and said "The look is for one person at a time. If I had wanted to give it to you I would have. Anyone who is not the indended person of the look wont know what it is."

Sakura turned and stormed over to Ino and said "What was that Ino."

Ino looked up at Sakura with a smile on her face and said "Im in love." as she looked back up to Naruto.

Flashback Ino

Ino found herself after looking Naruto in the eye in a maids uniform and she had high heals and stockings on and she looked at Naruto who was sitting in a throne like chair and she smirked and dropped a vase off of a stand beside her and Naruto said "You have been a naughty girl, come and get your punishment."

Ino nodded and walked over and crossed Naruto knee and Naruto raised the back of her skirt and slapped her butt once and asked "Are you still a naughty girl."

Ino said "Yes Narutosama, may I have another."

Naruto slapped her agian and asked her agian and her response was the same. After what seemed like hours for Ino Naruto asked "Are you going to be a good girl now."

Ino said "Thank you Narutosama, I will try and be a good girl now." and her world returned to Normal

end flashback

Naruto smirked as he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes and read in his mind the info he got from the scan. A side ability of his eye beside making the victim live out thier fantasy when not used in combat is it records info on that person.

**KURENAI**

**AGE 18**

**HEIGHT 5'9**

**WIEGHT 130**

**SKILL LEVEL JOUNIN**

**CHAKRA 720 UNITS**

**RETSU 480 UNITS**

**INO**

**AGE 14**

**HIEGHT 5'3**

**WEIGHT 101**

**SKILL LEVEL GENIN APPLICABLE**

**CHAKRA 208**

**RETSU 175**

He then opened his eyes and looked at the class and saw several people cutting looks at him.

Naruto yawned and said "Im bored, who is the biggest bad ass bitch here."

Shikamaru raised and eyebrow and said "If you want to fight then the rookie of the year is Sasuke up there with a fan on his back."

Naruto nodded and said "Hey shithead, want to fight." making all the girls but ino scream and all the guys snicker.

Sasuke got up and Naruto put his sunglasses in his pocket and locked eyes with Sasuke.

Sasuke stopped mid step and jumped back patting his cloths and screamed "Im on fire, put it out." and started removing his shirt and what shocked almost everyone in class was that his skin was red and looked like it has blisters on it.

Sasuke looked around and said "Where is he."

Kiba asked "Where is who."

Sasuke said "My brother, he just set me on fire with a Katon jutsu."

Everyone sweatdrop and Shino said "No one did that Sasukesan. You had just got out of your seat and started toward Narutosan here and then jumped back saying you were on fire and then removed your shirt though you might want to redress before the girls sneak out with them." making everyone turn to Sakura who was trying to hide his shirt in her dress.

Naruto sighed and put his glasses on and said "I dont know what your problem is but until you get checked out I am not fighting you so I dont get in trouble for fighting a mental case."

He smirked at the pissed look on Sasuke face but he turned and grabbed his shirt and started to put it back on.

**SASUKE**

**AGE 14**

**HEIGHT 5'6**

**WEIGHT 135**

**SKILL LEVEL MID GENNIN**

**CHAKRA 375**

**RETSU 95**

The door open and Asuma and Kurenai walked in and Kurenai blushed as she looked at Naruto and Asuma said "Team 8 and 10 with us. Naruto. Wait with team 7." as he walked out the door.

Naruto started to sing "I smell sex and candy, yeah" smirking on the inside as both Ino and Kurenai blushed even more as they walked out the class.

A boy named Sai looked at Naruto and said "That was a neat trick you did. Your different no dick."

Naruto looked at him with Narrowed eyes and said "What are you talking about."

Sai said "The trick with your eyes. Hypnosis right."

Naruto said "Nope, not smart enough to do that but I am currios as to why you would think so."

Sai started to draw in his book and said "I dont believe you no dick."

Naruto snorted and said "I never heard that name called when refered to me. What makes you think that."

Sai said "Well since you look weak I was told all those who are weak are..."

Naruto started to laugh interupting him and said "You dont get out much do you. Whoever told you that was refering in sarcasm. Its a double meaning. You have to learn the difference."

Sai sighed and said "It is difficult but I will try."

Naruto nodded and said and took off his glasses and walked down beside Sai and asked "What is your name." offering his hand.

Sai looked up and for a moment thought he was in his drawings but it went away and said "Sai. My name is Sai."

Naruto nodded and said "Its a pleasure to meet you."

Sakura asked "Naruto, why do you keep putting on sunglasses and taking them off."

Naruto sighed as he slipped them back on and said "Theres an old saying. Eyes are windows to the soul. My soul is unique so I only like to show it when I have something unique to share."

He then walked back to his seat and read the new info.

**SAI**

**AGE 14**

**HEIGHT 5'5**

**WEIGHT 111**

**SKILL LEVEL ABNU**

**CHAKRA 650**

**RETSU 725**

Naruto looked at Sai agian and thought "_interesting, I will inform dad and have him look into this. Not only is his skill level high but his Retsu is also 5th seat level. He should draw Hollows like crazy so why is he not being attacked by them."_

An hour later Kakashi walked in and said "Team 7 and Naruto, meet me on the roof." and left in a swirl of leaves.


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto sighed as he walked up to the roof behind the 3 members of team 7. He really did not know why he had to come back when he should be causing hell for hollows.

He giggled at that making all 3 members of team 7 to turn and look at him. Sasuke asked "Whats with you and that sword. Do you know how to use it."

Naruto ignored him and disappeared faster then any of them could follow and appeared leaning agianst the wall in front of Kakashi and he saw Kakashi reading Icha Icha paradise and asked "Which one is that."

Kakashi looked up and saw Naruto pointing to the book and said "Volume 22."

Naruto nods and said "I need to get that one. I have 1 through 21 but I did not know 22 came out yet."

Kakashi smiled under his mask already liking this kid even more and Sasuke asked "22 what." as the rest of team 7 finally made it.

Naruto pulled out a book just like Kakashi except it was volume 21 and said "Hmm, you say something." as he opened it and started to read.

Kakashi had a huge shit eating grin and said "If you were not my sensies son I would adopt you. Not only did you make my fellow jounin have an orgasm in the Hokage office but now you copy me also and a fan of Icha Icha paradise."

Naruto looked up and said "Ino was fun also. Know any S & M shops here."

Kakashi put his finger to his mask and said "I know of one but there selections not that great but you could ask Anko, She shops at all of them."

Naruto nods and ask "Where can I find her."

Kakashi said "Dango shop near the forest of death."

Naruto nods and said "So what the hell do the ninja in this village have to do to be ninja now."

Kakashi dropped all kiding and said "Right, Team 7, lets introduce ourself. Likes dislikes, hobbies, dreams."

Sakura who was still in shock from hearing what Kakashu said asked "Why dont you go first sensie."

Kakashi said "My name is Hatake Kakashi and I like many thing and dislike many things also. My hobbies are none of your concern and my dreams is... something I wont tell." as he looked at each of them in the eyes and for a split second he saw the faces of his old gennin team as he looked at Naruto and smiled as 3 people thought _"We did not learn anything"_

Naruto closed his eyes and read

**Hatake Kakashi**

**Age 27**

**Height 5'11**

**Weight 140**

**Skill level Special Jounin**

**Chakra 1165**

**Retsu 940**

and thought "_what the hell is going on. Not just one but 2 people who should be hollow bait."_

Kakashi looked up from his book and saw the shocked look on Naruto face and thought to ask later since he knew all 3 were here for something else but what he did not know. He looked and said "Ok pinky you next."

Sakura was mad and said "The names Sakura not Pinky. I like Sasukekun and I dislike Ino, my dreams of the future is..." and squeeled making everyone else wince.

Kakashi pointed to Sai who said "My name is Sai and I dont have any dreams or plans except following Danzo orders."

Naruto rubbed his chin and said "Danzo...Oh I remember him now. You have to find a new plan. We killed him a little while ago in the Hokage office." making all 3 gennin look at him.

Sasuke said "Quit acting all tough Naruto."

Kakashi sighed and said "Im afraid hes telling the truth. Danzo dead."

Sai eyes got wide for a moment and said "I see. Who do I follow now."

Naruto asked "for now the Hokage. Danzo been dead a long time and has been impostered by a hollow. We just killed it/"

Everyone looked at each other and Sakura asked "What is a hollow."

Naruto sighed and said "Hollows. Souls that have been eaten by other hollows and become creatures of immense power but also slave that..." he stopped as a jingle was heard and he dodged to the right before anyone could say anything and the spot he was in a moment before was split in half as the ground exploded from an impact and when the dust cleared a man with bells in his hair could be seen standing with an eye patch on and scars across his body.

Naruto who had his hand on the hilt of his sword said "What are you doing here Captian Kenpachi."

Kakashi stiffened a moment because he heard the name in the Hokages office and looked at the man and suddenly he stiffened even more when a voice on his shoulder said "See Kenny, I told you my womans intuition could find Kitsune."

Everyone turned and saw a little girl about ten years old dressed in a black and white outfit with a small sword on her side sitting on Kakashi shoulder.

Naruto said "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that Lt. Yachiru."

The girl said "Kitsune is so mean, he dont like my name for him. Get him Kenny." with a pout making everyone sweatdrop.

Kakashi looked at her and thought "_I did not even since her presence until she spoke and if she is an actual Lt. like Naruto said she must be powerful. What the hell is going on."_

Kenpachi stood up and said "I just came to see how my subordinate is doing and check up on a new shop that came to this village since it moved from the last time I went there." putting his sword over his shoulder.

Naruto stood up and said "Really, here I did not think you like to shop here. So tell me what shop it is and I might be able to get whatever it is you..." Naruto turned so fast that an after image appeared and held a kunia at Sasuke neck and said "dont ever try that again." as Sasuke hand was just about to touch the sword on Naruto side.

Sasuke was wide eyed and Kakashi fearing Sasuke was about to die said "Naruto, why dont you go ahead and do you intro so that way you can go see your friend."

Naruto still holding the kunia at Sasuke neck said in a monologue tone "Naruto Kazama, Soul Reaper and one of the last Quincy. Hobbies, killing Hollows, torchering Hollows, blowing shit up. Plans for the future, Kill hollows, torcher hollows, blow shit up, start a harem and get laid. Things I hate, Hollows and most of the idiots in Konoha." and took the kunia away from the neck of Sasuke.

Kakashi breathed a breath he was not sure he was holding and blinked and saw the girl was sitting on Kenpachi shoulder now and he never saw her move or felt her presence. He said "Ok, We test tomorrow at 6 am at the memorial stone, dont be late and dont eat or you throw up."

Naruto groaned and said "Please tell me your not going to do that bell test, tell you what. I already know the test so if you want to go ahead and test these 2 I will tell you what the secret is and that way you can let us pass even if they fail since it would be like I was there. I got other things to take care of."

Sakura said "Why is it that you get special treatment. You act all high and mighty but your just a gennin like us."

Naruto said "correction, possible gennin. Unless you pass this test tomorrow you fail and be sent back to the accademy since you do not show the neccessary skills to pass and I dont mean fighting skills. Heres a hint. Starts with a T and ends with a K and its 2 words. Good enough Kakashi."

Kakashi sighed and said "deal, tell your dad I will be by later to see him."

Naruto stiffened and said "Wait till tomorrow, they probably have a soundproof jutsu up right now and I wont be heading there since I need to talk to the captian here." and walked over to the bench Kenpachi had walked over and set down on.

Sasuke asked "What is he so special about and why dont you do anything about it and why does he call them by military standards. I dont see a Konoha headband on his head and whats a Soul Reaper and a Quincy."

Kakashi looked at Naruto and said "Well If I was to say by his speed hes shown as well as his chakra I can feel he is probably stronger then me if he went all out. His father is the Yondaime Hokage and he has been trained by him as well as others from what I can tell. The only reason he is a gennin is because he just joined and wanted to meet people his own age. He is probably at least a chunnin level or higher. If you want he could probably teach you a thing or 2 though I will give one advice. I dont know much about him but if he is a swordsman like he appears dont touch his sword as it is a dishonor to him but also his sword which is something he would kill over. Hyatte is the same way." and disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

Sakura and Sasuke looked at Naruto and Sai pulled out his book and started to draw as he walked away. Sasuke turned and hmphed before walking away and Sakura looked at him and then at Naruto and started to follow Sasuke.

After they were gone Naruto dropped the smile and asked "Whats wrong."

Kenpachi sighed and said "Follow me." and got up and started to walk away with the girl still over his shoulder with Naruto behind him.

About 20 minutes later they approached a store and Naruto stopped and said "You got to be shitting me." as he looked at the sign.

Kenpachi said "Nope. Go on inside and get answers. We got other things to take care of." glancing around.

Naruto said "He fine Kenpachi. Come on out Kakashi." making Kakashi stiffen in the tree he was hiding in.

Kenpachi nods and said "Well I can go take my mission now. Im heading for mist." and disappeared faster then Kakashi could see and getting a snort from Naruto.

Kakashi jumped down and looked at the store and Naruto said "Come on inside, I know your want to know whats going on so you can help me tell it to dad later. I also got $100 says the avenger fails the test tomorrow."

Kakashi nods and they walk into the store and said "no bet."

Naruto looks around and said "ururu, you here."

A girl with black hair walked out and said "Yes Narutosan, master Kisuke is down in the basement getting it set up. Oh Im sorry were not op..." motioning toward the stairs going down before she sees Kakashi.

Naruto interupts her and said "Relax, hes with me and besides I need Kisuke to look at him and tell me if my eyes are off."

Kakashi looks around trying to find out how a place that just appeared since he never seen it before could have dust on the floor and then heard Naruto talking about him and asked "What do you mean Naruto."

Naruto sighs as they walked down the stairs and said "My eyes were originally made for combat purposes to evalutate enemy strengths so I can help support the rest of my teams by taking out the heavy hitters. That last attack I had from the villagers when I was a child made me lose half my eyesite unless I pump chakra into them. Research and development was able to create me some new ones and with them anyone I lock eyes with I can determine thier skill level, name, chakra and retsu besides the obvious reactions like when you saw your teammates earlier. I was checking out your power levels. According to the readings I got you and that Sai kid who is ABNU level both should be Hollow bait." as they walked into a huge room that looked like a giant valley.

Kakashi was amazed and uncovered his sharingan to see if it was an illusion and asked "how is this possible."

A man with a green and white hat and a green coat and a cane walked over and said "I created this room for training though I was not expecting visitors but from what I heard Naruto here saying on your way down I suppose its alright. Thats actually the reason im here. My, my, my. Where are my manners. My name is Kusuke Urahara and from your looks and hearing Arashi talk I would say you are Kakashi. Its a pleasure to meet you." sticking out his hand.

Naruto frowns after they shake hands and said "So what brought you here Commander Kisuke."

Kisuke frowns and said "I swear I think your bipolar. Your either all joyful are full blown serious. Oh well, time for business. I can tell you your eyes are right. Within an hour of your families arrivals here all the sensors in soul society went off the wall with spirit power being detected. At first we thought it was a hollow attack but after we looked at it we notice there was no hollow energy but all human but when we checked it agianst the sensor readings from before you arrived there was over 60000 retsu energy increase just in a 4 block radious. We double checked all the sensors making sure they worked properly and can only assume someone was masking all this energy from us but the question that has me worried is Why."

Kakashi asked "What exactly is this retsu your talking about and why would I be hollow bait as you refered to me." looking at Naruto.

Kisuke answered "Retsu is a combination of mental, physical and spiritual energies together. What are his levels Naruto."

Naruto sighed and said "Chakra 1165, Restu 940. Hes about a weak 3rd or 4th seat sir if he were to unlock it."

Kakashi trying to get information asked "What are your levels Naruto."

Naruto glanced at Kisuke who gives a small nod and Naruto said "My levels are Chakra 3000. Retsu 3600. Because of the healing spell that was put on me to run off of my own power my chakra levels when I was taken away from here were already at 900 were a normal person should be around 100 at that time. The rest is from training and fighting and since Im a Quincy also."

Kisuke who had walked behind Kakashi while Naruto was talking pushed the end of his cane into Kakashi back causing Kakashi spirit to be pushed out of his body.

Kakashi had only realised something was going on when he felt air a fraction of a second before he was hit but he had no time to move. The next thing he knew he saw his body on the floor and saw Naruto and Kisuke looking at him and he had a chain connecting him to his body. He started to reach for the chain when Naruto said "dont unless you really want to die. That is your life chain."

Kakashi stopped and looked at them and asked "Whats going on."

Kisuke sighed and said "I needed you to realise that since you are Naruto sensie his claim of being a shinigami is not a lie and also the matter is I wanted to evalute you levels my self. I think he could help us Naruto. What do you think."

Naruto shruged and said "Hes strong enough but he would have to pass the test. Not everyone can do it the way I did. Besides, with him having that much power he needs to know how to defend himself."

Kisuke chuckles and said "Kid, I still dont know how the hell you did it and I recorded it."

Kakashi who is a fifth wheel right now ask "Would someone please tell me whats going on and why I had to be kicked out of my body."

Kisuke sighed and said "Its simple Kakashi. We are preparing for war. Naruto and his father are here to do a recruiting mission. We decided to start with Konoha because we reviewed the battle with the Hollow who looked like Kyuubi and saw some of the ninja in this village actually hurt it some which means you have high retsu. Naruto also has a side mission to find him some wifes." saying the last part with a chuckle.

Kakashi who listened in asked "So you are looking for recruits and your planning on taking them from Konoha. Right." in a neutral tone.

Naruto snorted and said "Truth be known Kakashi, right now no one from Soul Society gives a flying fuck about Konoha. The only reason it is still standing is because I did not want to see the only person who cared for me as a child upset over Konoha. The moment he dies Konoha has already been marked to be leveled. However since we want to take the fights to the Hollows since we have been on the defensive for so long we have decided to spare it as long as someone does not piss us off again. Think about this Kakashi, There are 13 divisions of soul reapers in Soul Society currently. Anyone of us over the level of 5th seat in any of those division could take out Konoha in one attack. I know your probably seathing right now and waiting for us to put you back in your body so you can tell the Hokage well guess what. It wont matter. You remember Kisuke here talking a few minutes ago about a Retsu spike earlier. Let me give you a little info. Normally Konoha has around 10000 retsu level for the entire village. Now the village has 70000. Now this village has been targeted for Hollows attack to come eat but it will only be low levels for now. If one more of those spikes hit for some reason then you will have to face an entire army of Kyuubi level creatures coming to eat your souls. So as I see it right now Konoha chances of surviving are slim. Either we can find some to help us fight to not only defend your homes but also in the war or we can sit back and watch them kill each and everyone of you."

Kakashi stood there thinking for a moment trying to grasp what he was hearing. He knew Konoha had no chance agianst an entire army of hollows and he really could not see any other option but a ninja must gather all available information so he sighed and said "So what is it that those who want to defend Konoha half to do."

Kisuke looks at him and asked "Do you want to become a Shinigami."

Kakashi for the first time realised exactly what he was hearing and thought for a moment and then a flash of his teammated appeared in his head and he asked "What will happen to those of us who join. Will we die or what."

Naruto sits down and puts his hands on his lap and said "Depends Kakashi. For most the process is a little unerving. You will have each and every one of your flaws put in your face. You will have to defeat yourself and then you will have to face your fears. If you fail in any aspect of this you will die and become a hollow. If you pass then you will become a shinigami. Know this. Dont do it for the good of Konoha or for your friends or even for dad. This is something that will change you. My first mission I had to do was to kill a hollow that was orinally a 3 year old little girl who was hunting down and killing her entire family because she thought they forgot her. I had trouble doing it but after I saw the pain she was in when she got to her little sister I knew that I would stop all Hollows and free them so they can rest in peace. Its something that can kill your spirit if it can."

Kakashi sighed and said "Fine, where do I sign up."

Kisuke slashed his sword into Kakashi life chain and Naruto kicked Kakashi across the field and said "Simple, You have 12 hours to make it across this field. If you cant make it here in that time I will send you soul to the other side since you will be a hollow. Oh and one last thing. You are about to face your fears and flaws. Learn to accept them." as he walked up the stairs and Naruto followed him.

Kakashi breathed hard having the wind knocked out of him and tried to get up but he was not able to catch his breath. Suddenly the moment where Obito died and he saw the nightmare he has every time it appears in his head.

Up staird Kisuke asked "Do you think he can make it."

Naruto said "I dont know but I do know one thing. I got to go find a woman named Anko." and walked out of the store.


End file.
