My So Called Life 1. Chapter 1

**This is my first attempt at fanfic. I've currently found myself with a lot of extra time on my hands so I thought I'd fill it with something moderately productive. And why not make sure its full of some of my all time favorite characters. Clearly I do not own anything in connection with MSCL. I watched the show when it first aired and they've been a part of my life ever since. **

**I remember there always being a ton of parallels in the episodes and I'd like to try and work that into this story. If it gets too kitschy or overbearing please let me know. I have a brief sketch of how I want this story to pan out, but until I get my footing you might have to wade through quite a bit of expo and piles of details. But thanks for reading. Let me know what you think. **

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><p>One minute she was nothing, completely unaware of even being, and the next she could feel herself being enveloped in a warm pale light. Fearing that any movement would cause the perfectness of this comfort to end, she stayed all movements and kept completely still. Consciously editing her breathing, she hoped to slow the passing of time. Yet seconds build and minutes fade, and in the next moment the dreadful buzz of her alarm clock started to wale as it glared at her from the bed stand. <em>Rise and shine. Time to start your day Angela Chase. It's Thursday. You sort of like Thursdays, remember? <em>She thought as she willed herself to open her eyes and greet early May morning. As she hesitantly parted her eyelids, she was drowned in the soft white light of the 6 A.M. sun. The east facing window was doubling as an alarm clock and negating any chance she had at drifting back off to dreamland. Although she had to admit she did enjoy waking up by means of solar power, rather than the nerve jarring awakening that came from the alarm clock.

As Angela groggily reached to her left and fumbled among the items on her bed stand, she finally felt the familiar and despised shape of the alarm clock and beat it into submission. Rolling back over, she found herself face to face with a very familiar pair of blue eyes.

"Morning Indi. Ready to start our day?" She lovingly scratched behind his right ear that was always flopped over. Angela sat up and curled her knees into her chest. Having never been a morning person, she felt the need to gather herself before planting her feet on the hardwood and admitting defeat to the morning. While she stood and stretched the cramped muscles of her shoulders her Australian Sheppard, Indiana, made a mad dash for the front door of the apartment. He parked himself directly in front of the hook which held the green leash – the means to his moderated freedom of the great outdoors. While Indiana waited patiently, Angela rummaged through what were once neat stacks of clothes she had deposited next to her closet last night after her trip to the LaundrOmat and which were now all in disarray. _Jeans... jeans.. I know I washed them yesterday. They've got to be folded up here somewhere. Unless that lady who was staring a little too fondly at my fabric soften swiped 'em while I wasn't looking. SCORE. Got 'em._ Angela managed an awkward hop across her bedroom as she pulled her favorite faded denim jeans on. She didn't mind that the bottoms were beyond frayed, or that the material on the hips was starting to wear thin, not even the numerous holes ranging from pin to knee sized. She had tucked away many memories in the pockets of these jeans, and even on an early morning walk with the dog they were a simple comfort.

Angela wandered into the bathroom to do a superficial teeth brushing incase she ran into anyone while outside. While making her way around the mismatched dining set, she tossed her disorderly dirty light brown hair up into a mess of a bun. Shuffling her feet toward the door she tapped the brew button on her coffee pot, which being at least moderately on top of things she had set up with a fresh filter and grounds last night. Slipping into a well worn pair of grey Vans, she hooked Indi's leash to the collar and they both treaded lightly down the double flight of stairs leading the main door of her small five unit apartment building. There were countless small bits of charm about this apartment that Angela loved, like the original hardwood floors with their scratches and gouges from years of wear and tear, to the built in book shelves that formed the walkway between her living room and kitchen. But, one of its most obvious and the convenient perks had to be its prime location directly across from her favorite park. Today the Dunsley Park did not disappoint. The Magnolia trees which lined the preliminary paths were just starting to bud. Angela loved the majestic beauty of these trees, but could never classify them as one of her true favorites due to how rapidly their blossoms fade. One moment they are huge rosy, white colored trees and the next they no longer noteworthy other than the carpet of fallen petals radiating out from the newly barren branches. It's hard to love something that fades so quickly. Yet while they while they lasted, Angela made a point of wandering among them, with Indi in tow. The two eventually made their way back to the apartment to be greeted by the luxuriant scent of fresh brewed dark roast coffee.

Fighting the urge to poor a cup and lose herself in quiet morning hours, Angela jumped into the shower. She ran through the same routine every morning. Take the dog for a walk, shower, cup of coffee (sometimes she allowed herself toast and a morning publication if she happened to wake up early enough, which was rare), dry hair, clothes, brush teeth, and out the door. Never in any varying order; she was convinced that it might alter her entire day if the beginning was skewed. The regularity of it had become another small comfort for her. She didn't have control over much, but she damned sure could determine if she drank her coffee or took her shower first. After she had fussed with her hair enough to be satisfactory, which was never much more than running a blow dryer through the choppy layers, Angela rubbed on some tinted moisturizer and called it good. Spending time painting your face never made any sense to her and because of this the twenty four year old woman who faced her in the mirror bore a striking resemblance to her teenage self. Slipping into a more recent and better kept pair of jeans and a simple white t-shirt, Angela was ready to head out the door. But as her hand grazed the door knob she heard a slight whimper from the kitchen, looked up to see Indiana seated patiently once again next to his food dish. In her morning trance she had almost forgotten to give him fresh water and kibble for the day. She was clearly out of it if a dog had more sense of priorities than she did at the moment. Filling both bowls, she leaned down to scratch behind his ears once more before leaving.

She freed her blue cruiser Huffy from the bike rack behind her building and pedaled her way to work at a pace she deemed worthy of the 7 A.M. time frame. Pulling up into the parking lot behind McWindle's Floral, Angela dismounted and wheeled her bicycle into the storage room.

"It's about damn time your pretty little face showed up," a voice called out from the front region of the store. The owner of the voice wasn't visible due to a large arrangement of Calla Lilies, which she was positioning on a front facing table. Angela knew the snide comment could have only come from Charlotte, one of her favorite co-workers and closest friend in the city.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry I'm a few minutes late. I didn't really see anyone beating down the door to get in here. And as a matter of fact it seems like you have everything pretty well under control. So if it's all the same to you, I'm just going to bike back home and…" she was cut off mid-sentence.

"Oh like hell you are! We have so many arrangements to mock up today. There were six messages on the machine for quick fire funeral arrangements that need to be done, like yesterday. Marjorie also took in two wedding bouquets for this weekend… And Mother's Day is right around the corner. Plus, because you seem to be so sadistic and are driven to make my life a living hell, you took the entirety of next week off. Meaning I'll be stuck working out all of these designs with just Erin. I might have to drag the girl who runs the resister, who I swear only has half a brain… back here to help. UGGHH!" Charlotte had meandered back to where I was standing while she was ranting. For an emphatic ending to her tirade, she gave Angela a friendly punch in the shoulder. "I mean, so are you getting excited? You like haven't taken vacation at all in the two years we've worked together. I bet you're stoked to get out of this wretched city for a bit, even if it does mean hopping the train for an even more crowded and chaotic one. You'll probably like lose yourself there or get inspired or find your soul mate and vow never to return here. Leaving me completely stranded. Thanks a lot."

_Charlotte is the only person I know who rambles, or carries on a one sided conversation more fluidly than I do. She has already plotted out my fate, when I haven't even packed yet. And, it isn't even really that big of a deal. It's not like I am skipping town to travel the world and find the meaning of life. I am taking the train into Chicago for a few days. There are some faces there that I am long overdue in seeing. It's been three years since I graduated from Northeastern Illinois University. Most of my friends from college still call the city home. Not to mention the handful of people who I suffered through the unbearable years of high school with are living in Chicago as well. Some I'm looking forward to seeing more than others... I'm most excited to spend time with Danielle, my younger sister moved there after high school to pursue culinary training. It's still weird to think that after spending our younger years constantly bickering with each other, we became inseparable during the year after my undergrad, before I decided to move away and start anew. It was hard to leave her, but I sometimes I just have to make such a drastic change that it alters my entire perspective. That's what I was faced with two years ago, and I can feel myself on the brink of something similar yet again. _

Angela had completely zoned out through another one of Char's rants. She nodded in agreement and walked to the order board to get started. She made sure to grab all of the forms for wedding arrangements. With her current state of mind, being immersed in Carnations and Peace Lilies for funerals just wasn't how she wanted to spend her last day at work before leaving. After her shift at the floral shop was over, Angela wheeled her bicycle from the storage room and headed back for her apartment to pack for the week ahead.

_Why do I feel so stagnant all of a sudden? The floral shop is exactly what I wanted in a job. It allows me a kind of creativity that I wouldn't have the freedom of accessing if I was still working as a linguistic research assistant. Maybe I do just need a change of scenery for a few days… hopefully that will light a fire under me. _

As she abandoned the bike path and started traversing the side streets and alleys to make her route home a little quicker, Angela slowed and then came to a stop outside of the drugstore on her block. She remembered that her toothpaste was getting annoyingly low and she hated having to flatten the tube just to brush her teeth every morning. The florescent lights and speckled white tiles within the store made Angela feel washed out, so she hurried herself through the various aisles grabbing whatever other toiletries she thought she might also be low on. While skimming the shampoo and hair styling product section, Angela was confronted by a wall of faces and assuming eyes staring out at her from the rows of hair color. She had never noticed how creepy it was to have so many different faces, all positioned and style relatively the same way arranged by hair color. And even worse, she felt like these strangers were judging her. She turned her back on the eyes and continued to search for a shampoo that was on sale. When she was steps from the register, still dwelling on those boxes of hair color, she was struck by a conversation she had had years ago…

"_I didn't say it looked __**bad**__. Just that it is the definitive physical characteristic of your normality," Rayanne avoided Angela's inquisitive stare as she rummaged through the pits of her oversized purse for some type of candy to suck on._

"_Yeah. But you just said, like seconds ago, that my hair is holding me back. Clearly that means that it doesn't look good, and as far as I know the most likely alternative other than good, is like, bad. Uggh. Maybe I'll have my mom schedule me an appointment to get it cut tomorrow." Being faced with this type of dilemma for some sort of necessary change was not Angela's specialty. Maybe she could just leave the decision in the hands of the hair stylist and hope for the best._

"_No. A cut isn't going to make any difference. Unless you shave it…. no that won't work either. The last thing we want is for Catalano to run from you in terror. We just need to find way to make sure you are easily noticeable in case you two ever like find yourselves in mixed company. I GOT IT! Let's dye it red! BRIGHT RED! It's sultry and sophisticated and bold. Just the thing to catch Catalano's eye if he ever takes a time out from using that Visine." Rayanne was an unlikely genius_.

It was a simple yet dramatic solution to the rut her teenage life had gotten stuck in. Perhaps history needed to repeat itself in order for her current life to get back in to the forward momentum she yearned for. Either way she felt it was worth a shot, and if Rayanne was anywhere within range to give her opinion, Angela was sure she would have agreed with this decision whole heartedly. Within minutes Angela was back on her bike, with a box of Copper Pot hair dye in her wire basket; unfortunately Crimson Glow had fallen out of style years ago.

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><p>It was a forceful and abrupt tremor that drew Jordan into consciousness. <em>Either we are on the roughest stretch of high way in the continental United States or Roger just drove over an entire heard of … something. <em>Without opening his yes Jordan could feel the walls of his bunk bed pressing against him. He was beginning to regret the agreement that whoever brought a ladyfriend back to the bus for the night got dibs on the larger double bunk. Considering that out of his four band mates he was rarely the one doing so meant that he ended up in cramped quarters more often than not. Jordan tried to relax and coerce his way back in to the world of dreams he was so violently thrown from moments ago. But to no avail, he could feel his body starting to wake and shake all ties to sleep. In fact the only thing that lingered was the haunting pair of soft green eyes he could still see and feel watching him. They followed him everywhere; a ghost of past lives. The eyes were a contradiction. Jordan felt they understood him yet couldn't accept him as he was. Like so many other nights he shook his head to try and chase the image of the green eyes from his vision.

Having given up on falling back asleep any time in the immediate future Jordan decided to try and find some sort of distraction until sleep returned or someone else woke up. He stumbled through the foyer of the bus towards the sitting area. Although it was only a few yards, Jordan's current drowsy state and the movements of the bus were impairing his journey. Once he reached the couch he heaved himself on to it. His body was beginning to feel the initial weight of their current tour. They had performed in fifteen different cities in less than three weeks. Jordan was grateful for the opportunity to be able to have a career doing what he loved, and quite honestly the only thing he ever really felt suited to do, but it was exhausting nevertheless. Every night he laid his soul on the stage. Jordan hoped that the people attending any of their shows could feel and understand his dedication and commitment to them. It was an odd thing feeling so connected to thousands of people for such a small moment in time and when he walked off the stage he felt that connection severed until the next performance. In-between gigs on previous the tour Jordan had mitigated his way through intense bouts of loneliness, and this one wasn't shaping up to be much different.

But Jordan wasn't alone, at least not in the physical sense. He was thankful to have three of his closest friends willing to make music and tour with him for the last six years. It was fitting that his best and oldest friend, Shane Jones, was their steadfast drummer. Jordan found it a comfort to know that the driving force in the music they produced came from someone who knew him so well. They connected on an entirely other level when it came to composing. Growing up together and helping each other through various instances of heartbreak, abandonment, and triumph had filtered onto their records. He had met Eli Marx and Chandler Ryller through mutual friends after he had graduated from high school. Eventually, they all started performing and touring together under the name Residue. Jordan had been in a short lived band by this name during high school, but he felt they had never reached their full potential. He liked the different meanings you could decipher from the name and decided to reincarnate it with the current members.

On the coffee table next to the couch Jordan could make out the figure of their tour itinerary. He reached to his left and fumbled for the switch on the lamp. Taking the binder into his lap he began to leaf through the pages examining what he and the rest of the guys had scheduled ahead of them. They were currently en route to Milwaukee and would perform the following night in Madison. The next stop on their tour after that was Chicago. Thankfully they had a free day before and after this concert so he could catch up with a few of his old friends still living in the city. Jordan was also hoping that he'd be able to escape from everything and spend some time by himself before they departed from Chicago. It was always one of his favorite cities to lose himself in. Even though his driver's license stated that his current address was in New York City, he wasn't sure if he could call that city his home. Over the past few years if he wasn't touring he was in various places around the country working to record and produce the band's newest album. It was the greatest endeavor of his twenty six years on this planet. He loved the possibilities of NYC, but he wasn't sure if he could ever put down roots there, regardless if it was now or in the very distant future.

The early morning hour time frame was starting to have a stronger effect on Jordan's ability to focus. He could feel himself fighting to keep his eyes open as he examined all of the logistics for the next few tour stops. Eventually Jordan surrendered to the pursuing slumber. Curled up in the pillows of the bus's couch, Jordan could once again see the soft light of those ghostly green eyes. Now he reveled in them, and hoped they would stay and keep him company until he was ready to wake and face the next day and city that awaited him.


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing... but the wanderings of my imagination. **

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><p>Standing on the platform Angela surveyed the people who would be populating the 8 A.M. train to Chicago with her. The majority of them were families taking a small outing for the weekend to a larger more exciting city; a mom, a dad, and 2.5 kids. She found herself in the minority group consisting of people traveling by themselves. And even then she was in an even smaller minority with no one there to wish her off. Angela had strategically stationed herself at the end of the platform knowing exactly where the last door of the train would rest once it halted on the tracks. She quickly scaled the stairs to the second level of the train and grabbed a seat next to a window. She'd been smart enough to pack lightly so she didn't have to check her luggage. Angela curled up with her forehead resting on the pane of the large window, turned on her portable CD player and allowed herself to be lost her imagination about the scrolling countryside and small towns as the train lumbered past them.<p>

The expansive waiting area at Union Station was one of Angela's favorite spots. When she was in college she used to spend hours sitting on the sturdy wooden benches, pretending to read a magazine, but really just observing the constant flow of people through the chamber. The nostalgia of this place begged her to take a seat for old time's sake, but because she had just spent the last few hours cramped up on the train, Angela felt the need to wander and stretch her legs. She made her way out to Canal Street and flagged a cab. Within ten minutes Angela found herself standing outside the front step of her sister's apartment in Wicker Park. She buzzed Danielle's number and waited for her to return the buzz to let her into the building. However, those minutes stretched on and Angela began to worry that her sister had forgotten that she had promised to be home this morning. Angela hit the button again, this time making sure her finger lingered on it for a moment longer just in case her sister hadn't heard her the first time.

_Seriously Danielle! I must have told you twelve times that I'd be here by 11. I should have you'd forget or blow me off. I was stupid not to check my bags at the station and just wander around down there. Now I'm stuck standing on the stoop with my luggage looking like an idiot… _

"Yo. Who is it?" Angela's annoyance was cut short when she heard her sisters voice crackle over the speaker

"It's _ME,_ Angela, you're only sister, the one who just confirmed with you last night that I'd be getting into town at this exact time. What sort of narcotics are you on? Did you forget already?"

"Oh yeah right. Damn, sorry. I didn't realize it was already 11. I was, uhhh, in the shower and I didn't hear you buzzing. Lay off."

Angela heard the door buzz and she grabbed the handle quickly and made her way up the two flights of stairs to Danielle's door. Her sister had left it slightly a jar, knowing that Angela was already irritated form having to wait on the front porch. The last thing she wanted was her banging on the door to be let into the apartment. When Angela walked in she found her sister leaning against the counter in the small kitchen drinking a glass of orange juice. Danielle looked smaller than Angela remembered, she had always been petite, but the loose t-shirt she was wearing looked as though it were strung up on a wire hanger rather than on someone's shoulders.

"You look so thin. For someone who works with food I would have expected you to be packing on the pounds. All of those cream sauces should be going right to your hips." Angela joked with her sister as she hugged her tightly.

"Well, sister dearest, you've gotten thick enough for the both of us." Danielle jabbed back.

Angela had filled out since her high school days, but was by no means _thick_. In fact she quite enjoyed not being waif thin like she had been all those years ago. She thought of validating herself to her sister by recounting the testimonies the men she'd been with in years past who had reveled in her curves, but she refrained.

"So how are things, I feel like catching up on the phone doesn't really count. How's work? Any plans to look into grad school? Shacking up with anyone new I should know about?" Danielle's small talk spewed out at a nervous rate. Angela had never known her sister to be so information hungry. Things had been very relaxed between them over the last few years. If something was important enough to be addressed it generally made its way into the conversation. They never questioned each other or prodded for information on new life developments. As Angela wandered into the living room she turned and looked more closely at her sister who apparently had come down with a case of word vomit. She noticed that her skin was completely flushed and her hair was all ratted up in the back, like someone who had just woken from a fitful sleep or someone who was just…

"I thought you said you were in the shower? Your hair isn't even went Danielle."

"Oh. Yeah. Um.. I was just getting into the shower. So what do you want to do today? I'll grab my shoes we can run over to Milk & Honey to grab some coffee."

Angela was drawn from her confusion over her sister's uneasy state when she heard a loud creak in the floor boards. She turned to see a young man trying to gingerly sneak he way to the door of the apartment. He was about 6'2", with sandy colored hair which was cut short enough to deter the curls it so badly wanted to form. His white undershirt was inside-out and stretched across his broad shoulders. He was holding a button down navy shirt and a belt in his hands.

Having been caught off guard by seeing someone behind her, Angela reacted with a "Whoa." When he turned to face her, Angela's surprise reached a level of complete and utter shock.

"KRAKOW! What are you doing in my sister's apartment? Holy shit. Were you two… DANIELLE! You're sleeping with Brian Krakow? You're sleeping with my ex-boyfriend?"

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><p>"Hey man. We're here. Eli and I thought it'd be best to stop and check out the venue before we head over to the hotel. That way we don't have to fuck around with it before the show. Plus Dan and Patrick are already here checking out the sound system. Thought it'd be nice if we worked through all of the kinks for both of our sets together. Give the Chicagoans a real synthesized performance tonight. And hell, maybe those guys have already sniffed out some hot spots in night life for after the show." Shane was standing in front of the couch where Jordan had fallen asleep for the third night in a row. He couldn't stand those tomb like walls of that bunk any longer.<p>

"Yeah alright. But first order of business… coffee. Don't tell me you assholes drank all of it already." Jordan was hoping that a jolt of caffeine would help him shake the green eyes from his nightly dreams. He pushed himself off the cushions and pulled on the t-shirt that he had freed himself of before he had fallen asleep. Chandler poured the remainder of the coffee into a cup and passed it his way. Jordan tapped half a spoonful of sugar into the mug to lessen the brutal assault of the strongly brewed coffee. After a few sips he felt a renewed sense of purpose for the morning. "Okay. So let's check this place out."

The venue was dark and the floor had a film of last night's beer strewn across it. It was smaller than a lot of places they had played previously, but Jordan dug that. He felt as their popularity grew, it distanced them from the people they shared their music with. He could remember when he saw familiar faces in the crowd at their shows and could hold meaningful conversations with people waiting around backstage afterwards. Now it was just throngs of screaming girls, who seemed more obsessed with the structure of his cheek bones or if he got hot enough to take his shirt off during the set, rather than the music they were listening too. From the far end of the venue, Jordan could see a man perched on a stool in the center of the stage, strumming a guitar. There was another guy standing behind a set of drums. The stage set wasn't expansive or very impressive, which was one of the things Jordan loved about being able to play a show with the guys who made up The Black Keys. At the end of their last tour, Jordan and the rest of the guys had caught one of their sets and had been completely blown away. The music that radiated from just the guitar and drums was so effecting that Jordan had found himself humming various melodies from their songs for weeks. He had kept in touch with Dan over the last year and was stoked to hear that they were going to be in Chicago at the same time and, even better, they were available to open that night for Residue.

"Mornin'." Jordan shouted across the empty room.

"It's about time you scallywags show up. We've been running sound for 20 minutes or so. Thought we'd take advantage of the stage time to run through a few newer songs. Something about this city always makes me want to push new music. The feedback is, if not good, at least constructive." Dan stood up from his stool and greeted the other four as they made their way to stage. Patrick gave everyone a welcoming nod.

"I know what you mean. There's something in the walls of this city that bring about change. This morning I woke up with the melody from a song I had penned years ago, and damn near forgotten about, coursing through my brain. I can't seem to shake it." Jordan failed to mention the eyes that had accompanied the subject of the song that had been trailing him all morning as well.

"Well take a seat my good sir. Play it out. Maybe the song just needs to be set free." Dan handed Jordan the guitar that he had been tuning. Jordan moved over to take up occupancy on the stool that Dan had vacated moments before. He shut his eyes and started to feel out the chords from memory. He hadn't played this song since he had lived in Three Rivers. More importantly, he had never, ever played it for an audience. But the words and notes were begging to be let free and Jordan couldn't hold it in any longer.

_My gears they grind _

_More each day_

_And I feel like_

_They're gonna grind away_

_And the city blocks_

_They drive me wild_

_They're never ending_

_Mile after mile_

_I just don't know what to do_

_I'm too afraid to love you_

_It's heaven on earth_

_In her embrace_

_Her gentle touch_

_And her smiling face_

_I'm just wishing_

_That I was a pair_

_With someone_

_Oh somewhere_

_All those sleepless nights_

_And all those wasted days_

_I wish loneliness would leave me_

_But I think he's here to stay_

_What more can I do_

_I'm wringing myself dry_

_And I can't afford to lose_

_One more teardrop from my eye_

Jordan finished the last chord and opened his eyes. The other five guys were all standing around as if they had been muted. At first he was a bit worried; it wasn't like any of them hadn't ever heard him perform solo. In fact at every gig he made a point of playing a few acoustic songs so he could settle himself and gain some composure before getting hyped for the closing of their show. He looked into Shane and Dan's face searching for an explanation for their silence.

"So, I guess that means it's a good thing that I never proposed that we record that song for any of the albums…" Jordan stood up and rested the guitar against the stool.

"Nah man. That shit was just… intense. It's been a while since I've heard you do anything so personal. Everything lately has been _distant_ lyrically. I can't remember the last time you wrote about someone in particular. It sounds good though man. Powerful. Were you planning on working that into the set tomorrow?" Shane was the one to speak up, and rightfully so. He was the only one currently situated on the stage who would have had any idea of the meaning behind those lyrics. And he was right. Jordan had made a point of distancing his writing from his life in the past few years. Performing songs that were autobiographical every night was exhausting. Also, he came to notice that if he wrote a song about someone or something he gave a damn about and sang it 300 times it nullified the meaning. He would not be performing this song again. He would lock it away again in his memory for safe keeping. In actuality he couldn't believe he'd been so foolish, the song was meant for her ears only. Like a secret that had been chipping away at him for the last seven years, it had finally broken through. Thankfully the ears it had fallen on were ones he trusted and respected.

"Doubtful Shane. Do you really want to spend every night with me getting all mushy on stage? It would probably blow my cover as the modern Don Juan." He gave the fellas a sheepish grin, but there was still an awkward silence amongst they guys, everyone feeling like they'd just caught a glimpse of something they were never meant to see. He wanted to escape their eyes. "But the acoustics sound great in here. Just imagine how great it'll be when there are hundreds of sweaty bodies packed from wall to wall. It's intimate, but large enough to the point where we won't disappoint. The stage has plenty of room for me to move around too, which is good. After being cramped up on that bus for the last couple nights I feel like I need to breakout." Jordan had jumped off the stage and continued to ramble as he made his way out of the loading door.

Sound check had been a bad idea. Something in this city always made him act instinctually and bare his soul more than he'd ever intended. It was like he knew she was out there somewhere and if he let his words travel out into the stratosphere, some how she'd hear them. It was a stupid idea, but an enticing one. Jordan now felt the need to be alone, and shouted to his band mates that they could continue through sound check without him. He had a feeling that he would need to brace himself for the upcoming show. Jordan was going to carefully plan out the set list so it didn't allow him to travel down any emotionally cathartic avenues and end up with him baring his soul more thoroughly than he just had.

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><p>"Oh calm down Angela. You two dated in high school, which hardly even counts, considering that you never even slept together." Danielle's defense floored her sister. Although it was completely true. Angela had dated for Brian for about two years, yet they had never been very intimate. In a way Angela felt she had used Brian, clearly not for sexual purposes, but because he had known her so long, he helped her figure out who she was turning into as a person as she navigated her way through high school. After reading the infamous letter that had stopped her heart, Angela had known that she had to be connected to its author in some way or another. And at the time she was more than happy to believe that person to pen those life changing words was Jordan Catalano. Yet when she found out the truth, Angela knew that she had to find out what was between her and Brian, even if it meant tearing her away from Jordan. There was something in those words that gave Angela a glimpse of the person she was supposed to be. She felt that if someone could understand what she needed to hear so fully then maybe they could help her map out her life. In the two years she spent with Brian she wasn't sure if she ever really experienced love, it was something more along the lines of comfort and assurance. She certainly never felt the magnetic connection that she felt but could never articulate with Jordan. Angela turned to Brian. She hadn't seen him for at least four years. She knew he had started attending Northwestern for grad school, but had never expected to find him sneaking out of her little sister's bedroom.<p>

"Brian! What are you thinking? You're a grown man. Couldn't you find someone your own age to fool around with?" Angela wasn't really sure why she felt so betrayed by this situation. And as the initial shock of it wore off, she was beginning to see how foolish she was acting.

"Get over it Chase. She's not that much younger than I am. And it's not like you own me. In fact, you made it very clear to me that you no longer had any need for once we hit our senior year. Danielle, I'm leaving. I'll call you later. You two enjoy your visit." Brian Krakow let the door shut emphatically as he exited the apartment. The two sisters stood looking at each other across the small room. And all at once erupted in laughter.

"I… I can't… I'm just… Brian Krakow? Really?" Angela finally managed to question as her laughing fit had begun to settle.

"Well yeah. I mean growing up I always had a thing for him, but he was always so hung up on you. We ran into each other a few weeks ago in UpTown. Turns out he's even more of a babe now than he was when he played that saxophone." Danielle had come into the living room and curled up on the couch. Angela followed suit. Both of their attention was drawn to the door as it swung open. Half expecting Brian to return in order to more fully explain himself, Angela was pleasantly surprised when she saw the face of her oldest friend Sharon Cherski appear on the other side of the door.

"Someone please explain to me why Krakow just let me into your building? And why was his shirt on inside out? You Chase sisters are together for twenty minutes and the world is already upside down." Sharon walked over and gave Angela a welcoming squeeze. She was the reason Angela had decided to move to Chicago for college in the first place. They had roomed together their freshman and sophomore years. It was always a comfort for Angela knowing that her oldest friend was still by her side to help her through any obstacle she might run into.

"It's so good to see you Cherski. I can't believe it's been almost a year." Angela sat back down and began to ponder the irony of the morning's events. As she stared out the window that faced towards Danielle's car lined street, Angela tuned into Sharon and her sister's conversation.

"Well I just ran into my friend Eric at the café and he told me one of Angela's favorite bands, The Black Keys, is playing in town tonight. He wasn't sure where, but he said he'd get a hold of me later with details. So I thought we'd do drinks, dinner, drinks, music, drinks, dancing, drinks, drinks, and more drinks. How does that sound Angela?" Sharon chirped.

"Sounds like a perfect plan to me. But before anything else, I need to get a coffee. I need some caffeine to shake these images of Danielle and Krakow from my brain."

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><p><strong>The lyrics performed by Jordan in this chapter are in fact from a Black Keys song (Too Afraid to Love You). They've been my musical obsession for a while now, and I plan on working more of their material into this story. And as an added bonus, their early albums fit this chronological time frame of this story. Thanks again for reading and let me know if you have any suggestions. -K<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing... Sorry this is such a long chapter. I actually cut out a big flash back scene that I had intended on including, but the length was getting out of control. I'm going to try and work it into the next chapter. I'm really happy with how this is story is shaping up. I hope you're enjoying it. Let me know your thoughts. Again, thanks for reading. - K**

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><p>The newly full Maple trees which lined the street created a green canopy and tinted everything beneath their branches. The three women spanned the width of the sidewalk as they departed from Danielle's apartment and made their way to her favorite local coffee shop. They looked as though they could have been selected to shoot for a women's lifestyle magazine editorial. All of their different physical characteristics complemented each other in an effortless way. Angela's freshly dyed copper hair drew any passerby's eye directly to the trio. Her natural beauty was further emphasized by her casual attire, plain grey t-shirt, loose fitting navy cardigan, and her favorite worn in jeans. Sharon garnered the most looks from passing men, which was something that she had grown accustomed to in high school and had never tired of. Her look was nearly a polar opposite to that of Angela's. Sharon had traded in her chestnut frizz ridden hairstyle upon entering college. Her hair was now a long sleek golden blonde. Every elegant feature of her face was carefully articulated with high end makeup products. She was beautiful and she knew it, Sharon never missed an opportunity to attract the opposite sex. This afternoon was no exception. Danielle had grown into her body over the years. She was tall and extremely lean. She had the longest hair out of the three women. It fell in dark brown waves down the center of her back. Danielle's white tank top hung loosely from her shoulders accentuating her slender frame and thin legs adorned in tight black jeans. Her face was not as naturally striking as Angela's, but this she made up for with a bold black eye liner to bring all attention to her almond shaped eyes.<p>

Finally arriving at Milk & Honey the girls chose a table on the sidewalk patio so they wouldn't miss a minute of the beautiful spring afternoon. They spent a good deal of time catching up on various topics; Danielle's new job as a line cook at a restaurant, Sharon's ever dramatic love life and constant procession of male suitors, and how life was panning out for Angela living away from everyone and everything in Michigan.

"I feel like I can breathe there. And not just in a cleaner air sense, but it doesn't feel like I have the weight of the city and all of the drama it brings bearing down on me anymore." Angela felt the need to explain her absence to two of the most important people in her life. They knew why she had chosen to leave, but they had expected her hiatus from the city to be temporary, a bit of a vacation to get grounded again and that she would eventually return. Angela saw it differently. The chapters of her life that had found her living in Chicago had ended, and quite tumultuously. There was no pressing reason for her to abandon the course her life was now on, even if it did mean living hours away from the people who loved and understood her best. "Besides, this topic is not up for debate. I live in Michigan now. I do really like it; I'm not just being stubborn. There's a level of stability there that I never really felt when I lived in Chicago. Everything can change so quickly here, I've adjusted my life to not having to worry about those sudden shifts." She stood up and looked around the small café, "Where are the restrooms in the place? This latte is going right through me."

"They are all the way to the back, down the small hallway, and then to your left." Danielle motioned in the direction of the washrooms with her hand. She had been flipping through the most recent edition of Food and Wine magazine while her sister had explained her need to live so far away from her. Danielle was beginning to be concerned that Angela was going to distance herself from her family and friends forever. Her trips to visit were already becoming less and less frequent in the last year, and she always seemed too busy to have any visitors. She worried that her sister was punishing herself for what had happened two years ago, even though it had been completely beyond anyone's control or ability to avoid.

"Hey. Are you ignoring me?" Sharon's voice broke Danielle's daze, as well as being pelted by a tiny piece of scone that Sharon had tossed at her from across the table. "Why didn't you tell me about your Krakow situation? I felt like I was in a Twilight Zone episode today when I got to your apartment."

"I wouldn't say it's really much of _situation_. It's just a casual thing. My life just feels more normal when I have him around me. It sort of feels like because I've known him so long, that I don't have to explain where I'm coming from on anything, he already knows or can sense it. He knocks down my chaos level about four notches, which is a lovely perk as well. Who would have guessed that Brian Krakow would turn out to be a calming force in my life? Well, that and his shoulders? Did you happen to observe them as he was scurrying out my front door? They are a thing of beauty."

"Actually it took me a second to realize why the disheveled man opening the door was calling Cherski. However, this may be hard to imagine, but we have more important things to discuss other than you boning your sister's ex-boyfriend." Sharon put her elbows on the table and leaned forward to unveil the plan she had devised for the evening. Trying to keep her voice down just in case someone was near enough by to overhear or if Angela happened to take an alternate route back from the bathroom and show up unexpectedly behind her. "I may have told a little white lie to you girls this morning. It wasn't Eric who told me about the Black Keys show tonight. I was actually a guy who I've known for a long time who happens to be the drummer for the band which the Black Keys are opening for. He offered to get us back stage during the show. I know Angela will be ecstatic about that, but there is a bit of a catch…"

"What? We're all expected to fawn over the headlining band like a bunch of mindless groupies? I think I'll pass Cherski. You may be an expert at using your feminine wiles to get what you want, but we Chase girls don't work that way."

"No, no. That's not it. Although, after Angela sees who else is back stage we might have a hard time keeping her off of him. Do you remember the guy she dated before Krakow in high school? Jordan Catalano? Well, his band, Residue, is the headliner. Maybe a tryst with a big rock and roll star is just what ChaseFace needs to get out of her funk."

"Oh. Do I ever remember Jordan Catalano. Or, more specifically I remember the nonsensical way Angela always behaved when he was around or not around. I only met the guy once or twice. But, telling her beforehand would be a mistake. Sometimes when she drinks too much whiskey, Angela tends to ramble on about the teenage abomination that was Jordan Catalano and her not quite real relationship with him. He really did a number on her. Shhh. Here she comes."

Angela walked back up to the table and became well aware of the intentional silence. "Okay. I've never known you two to be quiet. What's the deal?"

"Oh. We were just discussing Krakow's technique in the bedroom." Danielle kicked Sharon

causing all of their glasses to rattle on the table top. "Hah. Ouch! What? Maybe you two can swap stories now. See if our friend Brian has evolved in his love making over the years. It still kind of weirds me out that you two have slept with the same guy. And Krakow no less!"

"Actually that wouldn't be possible. I never slept with Brian." Angela stirred half a spoonful of sugar into her freshly refilled coffee mug. "Hell, he had a hard enough time getting to third base. No pun intended. Brian was terrified to make any advances towards me the whole time we dated. Which suited me just fine, it always felt a little weird and wrong whenever we were physical with each other."

"So you two were really just friends with very moderate benefits? Thank goodness. I thought you were going to keep playing the ex-boyfriend card and that I'd have to eventually stop seeing him so I wouldn't have to hear your incessant nagging." Danielle smiled at her sister over the rim of her coffee cup and she took another sip.

"Well, wait a minute... I thought you told me that you didn't lose your virginity to Egan our freshman year. If it wasn't Brian or Egan, who is this secret boyfriend you've been keeping from me for all of these years?" The idea of gossip this important had Sharon on the edge of her seat.

"It wasn't really a secret, you just assumed that I had slept with Brian and I never corrected you. And besides, you do know him. It was Jordan. I lost my virginity to Jordan Catalano." Angela leaned back in her chair with a satisfied smirk. "It was the single best and worst night of my entire life."

"Holy shit." Danielle and Sharon uttered in unison.

* * *

><p>As he scanned the lines of his favorite book, Jordan thumbed the page that had been dog eared on his previous read. Since he hadn't been properly taught how to read in the initial years of his education, Jordan had missed out on the self gratifying pleasure of losing oneself in the pages of a well written book. Yet after years of tutoring at the tail end of his high school career, Jordan overcame his rudimentary reading skills. Now, years later he hungered for the written word. If he wasn't in the recording studio, performing, or doing promos spots for the band the best bet was to look for him to be curled up somewhere buried in a book. He had established a tradition of reading Palahniuk's <em>Fight Club <em>on every tour. Jordan felt an alarming connection to the disjointed narrator. Sometimes he felt that he was also two separate personas. One that enticed screams a thousand voices deep when he was on stage and the other was a person still caught adrift in his life looking for steady ground.

There was a small knock on the door of the tour bus and Jordan shouted a welcome to whoever had come calling. Dan poked his head through the door and climbed up to the seating area to join Jordan.

"Hey man. I just wanted to check and make sure things were okay with you. You made such a hurried exit back there."

"Yeah thanks for the concern, but I'll be fine. Performing that song just hit me a lot hard than I had expected. There was just some stuff in my head that I had to work through on my own for a bit." Jordan's last few words were mumbled as he had held his hand up and started chewing on his thumbnail. It was a persistent habit that he had had since before he could remember which always seemed to rear its head when he was distraught. He knew he would feel calmer if he just got everything that was on his mind out in the open. Normally he only confided in Shane when it came to this type of thing, but in Shane's current absence Dan was someone who Jordan respected on a personal and professional level. He also had a feeling that form the sorrow in some of his lyrics, that Dan had been through the relationship ringer a few times himself and could possibly have some suggestions for what Jordan need to do in order to shake the funk he was repeatedly finding himself in.

Jordan took a deep breath. He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to think of the best way to articulate the mess that was taking over the majority of his current cognitive functions. "So, this is going to sound ridiculously stupid but… that song that got me all shook up this afternoon was one I had written about a girl I ran around with back in high school. I don't think I can even really call her my ex-girlfriend. I was never much of a relationship type of guy and when she pushed for that I pushed back in the opposite direction. Yet, on the surface our relationship might have looked superficial to anyone around us, I'll be damned if that girl didn't change me. I can't think of a day in the last eight years that I haven't thought about her, or what things would be like if I had done things differently. After school she moved here to Chicago to go to college. I've never had the balls to look her up and see where we stand all these years later. But it's like, when I'm here, I can feel her. It's comforting and frightening all at the same time. At fifteen years old she saw right through me, I can only imagine how she would rip me to pieces now that she's grown up a bit. I mean, I'm sure she's probably married and settled by now. I can't help but ache to see her one more time. Shane thinks I'm hung up and it's just some stupid sexual conquest thing that I never got over. But it's always been about more than that; everything was about way more than just sex when it came to her.

"I pulled some stupid stunts when we first got together. And I don't know if it was as a form of punishment or what, but she backed away from me and started dating some brainiac kid instead. I spent the last two years of high school watching her with him in the halls. It would make me so mad some days that I would have to leave the building entirely. There was no way he felt the same connection to her that I did. I hate how over played the idea of a soul mate is, but that's what it was like. Even when she was dating Brain, sometimes we would make eye contact in class and she would bore a hole right into my soul. When one of us would finally look away I would feel so drained and empty. I could tell she still wanted me, but she had built up a wall against me and I never really figured out how to break it down." Jordan ran his fingers along the embossed cover of his book. The familiarity he had with the paper and letters bound up in the book was a lot like how he felt about Angela. No matter how many times he retraced the plot points or the dialogue between the tangible and intangible characters something was always changing and affecting him differently.

"Before I left Three Rivers for good I was lucky enough to be able to spend a little bit of time with her. However, even during those times I felt that any attempt I made to make it up to her for all of the shit I put her though would fall short and I knew I'd never be good enough for her." Jordan's mind trailed off to one of the two evenings he had spent with Angela before he left town. After a few moments of silence he verbally recollected, "She nearly lost her mom in a really bad car accident right after I graduated. I saw her the day after and she was in a complete trance, wandering around the town square near the hospital, but not really knowing where she was or where she was going. I offered to take her back to the loft that my old band had used for practice until she felt a little more stable. After we got back to the loft she stood running her fingers over the strings of my guitar. I cautiously watched her for a while and then saw her legs give way. She collapsed into a heap on the floor with tears just flooding her face. I had never really understood what the word empathy meant until then. I picked her up and held her, and pleaded with the cosmic powers at be to let time stand still so I wouldn't have to let go of her. Once her tears had drenched the front of my shirt and she had fallen asleep from exhaustion I laid her down on one of the old couches we had. I sat and watched her sleep for hours. All I wanted to do was to be able to protect her from hurting this badly, and there was nothing I could do. I had failed her again. And even though it wasn't my actions that caused her so much anguish it was my emotional short comings that kept me from really being able to be there for her. It was one of the last times I got to see her before Shane, Eli, Chandler and I moved out to New York. The sorrow and emptiness in her eyes still haunts me." Jordan looked up to see Dan staring intently back at him. He could tell that he understood what he had gone through. "I've tried to talk to Shane about this shit, because when I keep it bottled up inside eventually the pressure leaks and it can lead to me going on a bender. He's really good about being there for me, but he's never really experienced that great heartache. Shane can never fully understand what I had when I was with her, and that I fucked myself over when I let her go. He just expects me to pick some girl out of the crowd and fall for her instead. It doesn't work like that for me." As Jordan had concluded his sentence he saw light from the door flood the bus. Shane bounced up the stairs and stood in the kitchen opening and shutting all of the cupboards.

"Okaaaaay. So there is nothing edible on the bus. In the last three weeks we have eaten everything. And I'm starving. I might gnaw on the steering wheel if I don't get some food here quick. How about Thai? What do you guys think?" Shane proposed the question to Dan and Jordan.

"Yeah man. I could get down on some food for sure. You coming?" Dan looked to Jordan who had stretched his body out forward from the couch he had been sitting on. He rested his head on the cushion behind him.

"No thanks. I'm going to just veg out here for a bit longer. You guys enjoy yourselves. If you think about it, bring me back some take out, I'll be hungry later on." Jordan closed his eyes and listened to the other two guys exit the tour bus. He did feel a little more relieved after talking to Dan. Well, it was more like talk at him, not to him, he had been silent the entire time, but that didn't really bother Jordan. He found that it was getting harder and harder to find someone who was a good listener lately. Everyone just seemed to be waiting for you to finish so they could have their chance to speak. The stillness of the bus began to influence Jordan. A little sleep couldn't hurt before tonight's performance. He allowed himself to be carried away from consciousness by his constant companion, the lingering thoughts and images of Miss Angela Chase.

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><p>The day had passed quickly as the girls meandered their way through the city. Angela had gotten a chance to stop into all of her old favorite shops and pick up some various hand made goods to bring back home with her. Angela, Danielle, and Sharon were all seated on the Blue Line waiting for the stop closest to the venue that Sharon said the Black Keys were playing at. Angela thought it was by some stroke of incredible luck that Sharon's friend Eric happened to know someone who was promoting the show and was able to get all three of them on the guest list to be back stage during the show. The idea of casually running in to Dan Auerbach or Patrick Carney and striking up a conversation about who knows what made her head spin a little bit. She was never a person who believed in the realm of celebrity, but the music these two men made did things to her mind and body that she had a hard time explaining.<p>

They walked through the front door Sharon walked right up to the burly man checking IDs and tickets. "Cherski +2" Sharon said to him as his eyes scanned her up and down. She had made sure that every bit of fabric she put on her body tonight would hug her in all of the right areas. Her top was low cut enough to show off her two most prominent attributes.

"Down the hall, through the two heavy black doors to the left ladies. Enjoy the show." Angela surveyed the crowd in the bar area and the open floor of the venue. It was smaller than she had expected and she was glad that she wouldn't be smashed up against some unfamiliar sweaty body during the concert. She was looking forward to having enough room to dance to the filthy guitar rhythms without too many people being witness. Among those in attendance Angela had noticed more than a handful of attractive guys. Maybe she should have changed her clothes after lunch and worn something a little more remarkable. What if she met her Mr. Perfect tonight? It was a long shot, but still always a possibility. She had been run down by attempts at love in the last few years, but that didn't mean she wasn't still very much aware the presence of the male sex.

Sharon reached the doors first and had to throw her shoulder in to pushing them open. Danielle followed her and Angela brought up the rear. There were several small groups of people occupying the scantily furnished back stage area. Angela didn't see either of the faces that she knew from the album covers which in constant rotation on her record player. Danielle had wandered over to the refreshment table to inspect what was being provided. Angela loved that her sister was such a food nerd and didn't care who knew it. Sharon had walked over and gave some guy a lengthy hug. From where Angela was standing she could tell it was meant to be more than just a friendly greeting, especially when she saw Sharon press her entire body into the man she had her arms around. Angela had initially assumed that it was her friend Eric, but from what she recollected Sharon never expressed any feels of that nature for him. And after taking a longer look, his face seemed very familiar, despite the fact that he was obnoxiously wearing large aviator sunglasses indoors. She rolled her eyes and continued to look around the room.

When Jordan had walked out of the bathroom after washing up, he stopped dead in his tracks. Standing no more than three yards distance, facing away from him was the copper haired woman who haunted his dreams and every waking moment. Even though he couldn't see her face, there was no doubt in his mind that the woman standing alone in the crowded room was Angela Chase. She had filled out since he had last seen her. But the years had been generous and complimented her body well, what he could see of it at least. She looked so natural and yet out of place. He found it comforting that she still had the same posture, all of her weight put on her left leg and her hip cocked slightly. There had always been just enough attitude in her stance to avoid looking stiff, more like she had some bit of a purpose standing there. Before Jordan could take a step towards her, Angela raised her hand and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. His heart stopped. He had dreamed of her doing that so many times. He could only guess that she was slightly nibbling on her lower lip as the awkwardness of being a complete stranger in this room got to her.

While she was standing alone in the room observing the conversations going on around her, Angela felt the room change. The hair on the back of her neck stood up. She shifted and put more of her weight on her left foot, a position she felt more comfortable in. Angela could feel an indistinguishable presence around her. Maybe it was fate beckoning her and when she turned around she would be face to face with one of the musicians she admired most. Would it really be that bad if she abandoned all of her morals for the night and hit on Dan Auerbach unabashedly until he agreed to take her home? The presence in the room was getting stronger and Angela was started to get nervous as to what it might mean. Unconsciously she tucked her hair behind her ear and made up her mind to march over to Sharon and peel her off that man so she had someone to talk to. But before she could move Jordan stepped up directly behind her.

"Hey." His voice was vast array of contradictions. It sounded rough and scratchy like he had just gargled concrete, yet there was a smoothness to it that reminded Angela of a lingering note after striking a piano key. It terrified and calmed her nerves in one quick syllable. Even though she hadn't heard his voice for over two years, there was no mistaking who was standing only inches behind her. When she turned slowly on her heel, Angela came face to face with the arresting eyes that had sent her head spinning more times than she could count. As their eyes met every cell in Angela's body when rigid. She took a deep breath in an attempt to steady herself. And as she exhaled she just barely whispered his name. "Jordan."


	4. Chapter 4

**I own nothing. Hope didn't keep you waiting too long for this chapter. I wanted to get it up sooner, but things have started to get hectic around here as the summer months often do. As always, thanks for reading & let me know what you think. -K**

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><p>"Jordan… hi." Angela said looking away from his cool eyes and down at the ground. "What are you doing here?" She bit down on her lower lip as she finished her question. Being this close to him after so many years was unnerving. Angela had never really figured out how to act in the presence of Jordan Catalano. He had become more of a myth than a man in her mind over the course of the last few years. The splattering of his face across magazines, album covers, and television shows never made him any more real to her. He had evolved into a ghost from her past, a ghost that seemed to create his own gravitational pull on her body and thoughts now that he was standing less than a foot away from her.<p>

"Um, I'm performing in about an hour. What are you doing here?" Jordan could kick himself for asking such an obvious question. He assumed that she was there to see Residue's show and just wanted to know why he was backstage and not somewhere preparing for their set. Something about being in the presence of Angela Chase made the lucid part of his brain go all fuzzy. He attempted to divert her attention from his stupid question, "Damn, it's been what? Like seven years since I've seen you," Jordan had to fight back the urge to wrap his arms around her and pull her close to him, to feel her skin like he had been at liberty to do what now felt like ages ago. How was he supposed to focus on performing tonight knowing that she would be in the audience _watching _him? While standing there waiting for his brain and mouth to reform their working connection, Jordan wondered what stroke of luck had brought her backstage tonight. He tore his gaze away from Angela to find Shane and a blonde he vaguely recognized watching him intently. Angela's voice brought his attention back to her.

"Oh, I'm actually here to see The Black Keys. Sharon knows how much I love them and somehow she managed to get us on the list to be backstage. I have a feeling it has something to do with that guy she's been hanging on since we got here." Angela also glanced over in Sharon and Shane's direction only to notice them staring right back. Clearly this meeting had been set up. She started to feel anxious and as if everyone in the room was observing her to see how she'd react to this confrontation with the man who had possessed her heart so many years ago. Angela couldn't bear to tell Jordan that in reality it hadn't seven years since she had seen him. She had watched him perform two years ago, but he had never known she was there. Trying to avoid thinking about that night she said, "I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I didn't have any idea that you were playing tonight. Are you opening for The Black Keys?"

Jordan's stomach twisted into a knot. She had been in his thoughts regularly for the better part of the last decade, but apparently it wasn't a mutual existence. She wasn't even here to see his band play. And to add injury to insult, she assumed that his band was the lesser of the two on the bill. His ego was bruised. "No. They're opening for us," he said shortly. Not wanting her to see his disappointment at her real reason for being there, Jordan felt like he needed to get away and make it seem like he had more important things to do than catching up with her, the girl who wasn't even a tangible article in his life until five minutes ago. "Well I have to go make sure everything is set up properly. Enjoy the show."

Jordan's quick exit stung Angela. It was not the reunion that she had imagined or hoped for. After she had moved away to college she felt his absence in her life strongly. At first it seemed like the force of Jordan Catalano had been so great, and now that it was missing, a black hole stood in his place. Over the years she had worked out everything she wanted to say to him if they finally happened to meet again. She hadn't managed to get one of those well planned and continuously revised remarks out of her mouth before he left the green room and disappeared from her sight. Angela looked back at the floor for a moment trying to settle in her head if whether what had just happened was reality or if it had been some sort of brief delusion. When she looked up Danielle was standing next to her, looking apologetic and concerned. Angela again glanced in Sharon's direction to see her letting go of the man she had attached herself to and walking in her direction.

Once the three had reconvened in the center of the room Angela let fly her accusations. "What the hell was that? You didn't think that maybe I should have been at least warned what was going on tonight? I made a complete asshole out of myself. I'm pretty positive that I just insulted Jordan Catalano by being completely oblivious to his reason for being here. So much for ever wanting to speak to him again. He has plenty of other women who are well aware of his whereabouts and intentions, why bother with some girl from high school who apparently doesn't give a shit about him or his band. And, uggh! If you would have warned me I would have at least wore something other than this stupid t-shirt." Angela felt defeated. Now that the initial shock of seeing Jordan had worn off, the hugeness of this scenario began to sink in. What if that was it? What if that was her only chance to talk to him? The seven years of their separation had left nothing but unanswered, festering questions between them. If she had ever wanted any answers to those, her ignorance of his being here tonight had just squashed any possibility of her getting them.

"I'm sorry Chaseface. Surprising you sounded like a good idea at the time. We just thought it could be fun for you tonight. Your favorite band, your old stomping grounds, and a dreamy Jordan Catalano to work out any pent up sexual frustration you have brewing inside you." Sharon did feel bad that their meeting had been short-lived and less than ideal, but she still felt that she her heart had been in the right place when she had planned out the evening.

"Well there is no point in standing here and arguing. What's done is done. You can be bitter or make the best of it Ang. Plus I just heard the MC announce The Black Keys. So if we don't get to the stage to watch their set, this night really will be total utter shit." Danielle walked away from the other two, knowing that the quickest way to get Angela's attention off of the negative was to let her lose herself in the music being played before them.

The Black Keys performed all of Angela's favorite tracks from _The Big Come Up _ and _Thickfreakness_. She couldn't wait to get back home and tell Charlotte about how amazing they were live, since she was the one who had introduced Angela to their music in the first place. Before she realized it, their set was done and the stage crews were removing their equipment to make way for Jordan and the rest of Residue. _I don't know if I am honestly going to be able to stand here and watch Jordan Catalano on stage. It's like he's been living in a completely different universe. He is so far beyond me now; I don't know why I ever thought that things would be the same if we ever saw each other again. He probably has already forgotten that he even spoke to me an hour ago. I wouldn't even be a blip on the radar of the new and improved Rockstar Jordan Catalano._ Angela's contempt began to simmer under her glazed exterior. She was seriously considering leaving just as back lights lit the large white curtain that hid the band from the audience's view.

Jordan stood waiting for the curtain to drop so he could scan the crowd and search for her copper hair. He worried that he had screwed up any chance of talking to her after the show. He shouldn't have allowed her not knowing that he was performing to irk to him. Angela Chase just had a way of getting under his skin, whether she did it intentionally or not. _What if she already left? She said she was only here to see Dan and Patrick. I let my pride get the best of me and now I've probably ruined any chance I ever had of seeing her again. Sometimes I can be such a fucking idiot. _As Jordan chided himself for his pompous exit, he caught sight of three feminine forms standing to the left of the stage amidst the speakers, back up percussion and guitar racks. A roaming stage light sent a reflection of red burning from the figures' location and Jordan knew that she hadn't abandoned him after all. In that moment he decided that he had to make her aware that she was still an ever present factor in his life. The only option he had was to somehow work it into the show. _If I wait until after our set she might be gone. And if I confess to everyone in this place that she's been on my mind every day since she showed up at Tino's party covered in mud and explained the logical progression of the days of the week to me, I'll look like a pathetic sap that she won't even want to speak to. I'll have to get her attention the only way I know how…_

As the curtain crumbled and the lights came up Jordan and the rest of the guys played their way through the established set list. He was feeling more self conscious than he had since they started touring. Knowing that her eyes were on him was more terrifying and exciting than playing for the representatives of their record label back before they had left Three Rivers. Jordan looked to the other guys who were on stage with him. They had already been playing for forty five minutes and he could tell that Shane needed a bit of a break if he was going to be able to bang out their most recognized songs for a dramatic finale.

"Okay everybody, we're going to slow things down here for a minute." Shane, Eli, and Chandler exited the stage leaving Jordan as the sole occupant. "I hope you won't be too terribly disappointed if I play some acoustic stuff for you." Jordan took a seat on the stool that had been brought out to him. He allowed the guitar to rest on his thigh and when he closed his eyes, he could see her pale green irises staring back at him, encouraging him to bare his heart now before it was too late. "It's been a really long time since I've played this song, but there's someone in the audience tonight who I hope will recognize it..

_I was going nowhere,_

_going nowhere fast._

_Drowning in my memories,_

_living in the past._

_Everything looked black 'til I found her._

_She's all I need, and that's what I said_

_Oh, oh, oh, I call her Red._

_Yeah, yeah, yeah._

_She's my shelter from the storm._

_She's a place to rest my head._

_Late at night she keeps me safe and warm._

_I call her Red._

_Yeah, yeah, yeah._

_I call her Red._

The first three chords of the song instantly caused Angela to be transported back to loft and brought visions of a seventeen year old Jordan to her mind. Maybe she wasn't so naive to think she could still possibly grace Jordan Catalano's thoughts. Angela was completely wrapped up in her memories and musings when she heard Jordan thank the crowd and caught the glimpse of him exiting on the opposite side of the stage. The crowd was not yet satisfied with what they had been given and they began to roar for more of Residue. Being well aware that they had not played their most popular songs, Angela patiently waited for the four men to return victoriously to the stage. Moments later they began to file back to where their instruments waited. Residue made big on their promise of an incredible performance when they worked their way through their top to radio releases. The screams from the women in the audience were not lost on Angela's ears. She felt herself glow a little in the knowledge that at least one of the men those ladies were pining for had made public recognition of her tonight. She felt as high as she did on the day that Jordan had taken her hand and paraded her through the halls in Liberty High School. Angela's attention was brought back to the stage after Residue concluded with the big finish of their most popular song. She also noticed that two other guys had made their way on stage. Dan had walked over to pick up a guitar resting close to Jason and Patrick had made his way to the percussion area next to Shane's drum set.

"Thanks everyone. You didn't really think we'd leave you hanging like that did you? Well we have one more song to play for you. And for this one we thought we'd invite our good friends Dan and Patrick from The Black Keys to jam with us. Show them some love, they're amazing aren't they?" Jordan stroked the fire of the crowd into a frenzy as the sound of more instruments created a depth that hadn't reached the ears of the audience in either of the previous sets. Being quite familiar with both bands' discographies Angela was curious as to what this new song could be. Jordan had stepped to the mic, yet before he could address the audience, another instrument made itself known in the shadows to the right hand side of the stage. The notes from a saxophone were becoming more and more apparent in the dirty blues rhythm that the rest of the boys had been building since setting foot on stage.

"And as a special gift for all of you Chicago dwellers, I invited another guest tonight. He's never performed with us before, so be gentle as you help take his stage virginity. We've known each other for years and I just recently learned what an incredible musician he is. He helped me overcome one of the biggest obstacles in my life a long time ago, and I owe him more than any of you could ever imagine. Get out here man, and blow these lovely people's minds." Jordan stepped away from the mic and continued to pluck the bluesy notes on his guitar. As he did so a tall, sandy haired modest looking but handsome man emerged from the shadows.

"Is that..?" Sharon paused.

"Holy shit…" Angela's mouth dropped open.

"KRAKOW!" Danielle yelled before she wolf whistled at him from across the stage. He had told her that he had a surprise for her tonight. She just assumed that he meant something after she had returned from the concert. Never in her life had she expected to see Brian Krakow playing his saxophone in front of hundreds of people. She was ridiculously turned on by the idea of other women watching him and knowing that he would have his arms around only her by the end of the evening. The three girls hopped around with excitement as they watched the musical collaboration unfold. Dan stepped to the mic in front of him and started in on the first verse.

_The crooks are out_

_And the streets are gray_

_You know I wouldn't have it_

_any other way._

_Your mother's words _

_They're ringing still,_

_but your mother don't _

_Pay our bills. _

_A sinister kid is a kid who _

_Runs to meet his Maker_

_A drop dead sprint from the day he's born_

_Straight into his Maker's arms._

_And that's me, that's me_

_The boy with the broken halo._

_That's me, that's me_

_The devil won't let me be._

Dan receded into the midst of the sound erupting from the speakers. He let his voice fade and his attention fall completely on the strings of his guitar. With his departure, Jordan stepped up to his mic to let his voice be heard. Before he uttered the first lines of his verse he craned his neck to the left and let his eyes rest on Angela. He knew that this song wasn't any great confession of love, but it had soul that there was no escaping. And even if the words didn't convey exactly the way he needed her, he hoped she could hear the yearning in his voice and could deduce from the abstract that he regretted his past actions and wanted her to give him just one more chance.

_I got a tortured mind_

_And my blade is sharp_

_A bad combination _

_in the dark_

_If I kill a man_

_In the first degree_

_Baby would you _

_flee with me?_

_A sinister kid is a kid who _

_Runs to meet his Maker_

_A drop dead sprint from the day he's born_

_Straight into his Maker's arms._

_And that's me, that's me_

_The boy with the broken halo._

_That's me, that's me_

_The devil won't let me be._

Angela felt her grip on reality begin to slip away as she was absorbed into this last performance. She was proud of Jordan, for jumping head first into a life that revolved around what he loved. There was no mistaking that on that stage holding a guitar was where that man belonged. The light reflected off his eyes as graciously thanked the crowed one final time. Angela heard a hint of sadness in his voice as he shouted his thank you's and goodnights. She wondered if that sorrow rose up after every show or if this one had been particularly impactful for him. Part of her wanted to sprint to the back stage waiting area to be the first face he saw. And then she remembered their cool reunion only a couple hours prior and she wasn't sure if she was entitled to be the one congratulating him on such a great show. Sharon tapped her on the shoulder and signaled for her to follow as they all made their way off the side stage. When they pushed through the heavy black doors again Danielle caught sight of Brian standing next to a table laughing with Chandler and Eli and snacking on some guacamole. Before Angela knew what was happening Danielle had darted across the room and jumped on Brian. She had flung her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist. It was all Brian could do not to topple over backwards. The two were hardly aware of the entire room watching them because they were completely wrapped up in one another.

Angela laughed to herself as her sister made quite a scene. She would never have the balls to do something like that, no matter how much she wanted to. She envied her sister's fearlessness. Angela spied the man who she had come to realize was Shane Jones, one of Jordan's good friends from school and clearly now the drummer for Residue. He was wrapped in a conversation with another leggy blonde, but was obviously doing it only to make Sharon jealous because he kept glancing in their direction to make sure she had noticed.

"Hey Cherski, I think someone is trying to get your attention." Angela nodded in Shane's direction.

"I am not that easily swayed. He can talk to every girl in this place, see if I care. Maybe I'll go home with… that guy over there in the sweater that is two sizes too small. That'll teach him." Sharon was consumed by her endeavor to make Shane even more jealous and proceeded to strike up conversations with any man standing in a two foot radius. Angela was starting to get a sinking feeling that she was wasting her time waiting around for Jordan to show again. All of the other members of the band had already come to mingle with their guests and he was nowhere to be seen. She decided that instead of being _that girl_ waiting for the inevitable nothing, that she would just ask Danielle for the keys to her apartment and take a cab back.

Danielle was torn whether or not to accompany her sister home, but she couldn't convince herself to tear away from Brian's side.

"But really Ang, if you want me to come back I will. Just say it."

"No Danielle don't be ridiculous. I can make it back just fine on my own. I used to live here remember? I can take care of myself. It's been such a crazy day, I could use the rest of the night alone to wind down." She leaned in to hug her sister and kiss her on the cheek. "Krakow… Krakow… Krakow. I don't know what to do with you. A secret saxophone stylist and you've swept my sister off her feet. Take care of her tonight, or else." She hugged him and made her quiet exit without anyone else noticing.

Jordan had stepped into the room just as the door shut behind Angela. He noticed the two girls she had come with, but she seemed to have disappeared. Ignoring the handful of people who were commending his performance that night, Jordan made his way over to Shane who had abandoned the no name blonde and was nestled into a corner with Sharon.

"Hey. You're friends with Angela right? I mean, you came here with her didn't you?"

"Jordan, don't you recognize her. It's Sharon Cherski. We all when to school together… she roomed with Angela in college."

"Oh. Yeah. Hey. Sorry, you look, like, different or something. But where is she? Did she leave?"

"She stood around here for a while, I assume looking for you. After you blew her off before the show I guess she just thought you weren't interested in talking to her anymore. She just left to catch a cab back to Wicker Park." Sharon glared at Jordan. She had hoped that he had matured somewhat since high school. If Shane had, certainly Jordan had it in him as well. She currently felt nothing but contempt towards him due to how he had treated her friend earlier, even if he had tried to make it up to her with that pathetic puppy love song. Sharon saw Jordan's shoulders slump when she told him that Angela had left. Maybe he did give a damn. "She might still be waiting outside. If you hurry you could catch her before she leaves."

Jordan turned on his heels and sprinted down the hallway. In seconds he found himself standing in a mass of people all trying to make their way to some other evening event elsewhere in town. Cabs were lining up along street, but he saw no solo red head waiting in the queue. He pushed his way through a group of people further down the sidewalk. And while he wasn't paying much attention to the bodies surrounding him, he crashed into someone behind him when he turned around to try back tracking his steps.

"Oh. Shit. I'm sorry. Are you… Angela? Are you okay? I didn't mean to run you over. I didn't see you standing there." Jordan reached out to help steady her, but she regained her balance on her own and picked up the floral textile bag that had been knocked off her shoulder in the collision.

"I'm fine. I was just about to get in that cab when I saw you spinning around out here like a whirling dervish. I figured I should at least say goodbye before heading home. Who knows when we'll see each other again." The truth in this statement stung both of them. It was only chance that they had met that night. They lived in separate worlds now. Jordan suddenly felt nauseous at the idea of her walking out of his life again with barely twenty sentences said between them.

"I don't want to be rude, but do you think we could share a cab? I'm heading up town and this line is pretty intense." It wasn't the most thoughtful excuse he could have come up with in order spend more time with her, but it would work. Angela wasn't sure if she was flattered that he wanted to split a cab with her, or insulted that he had better things to do and just wanted to get a jump on the cab queue.

"Yeah. That'd be fine." She slid into the back seat of the cab and Jordan followed her. They both gave the addresses of their stops the driver. Jordan thankfully knew the area of Wicker Park pretty well so he was able to come up with an address just a few blocks north of where Angela was going without having to blow his cover.

"So I heard that there was some crazy girl that like jumped Brain backstage after the show. Hah."

"Actually, that crazy girl was my little sister, Danielle. You probably wouldn't remember her. She and Krakow are dating, or sleeping together, or something along those lines. What I can't believe is that you invited him to play with you. Or that he did it. Talk about a Twilight Zone episode." Angela was laughing out loud as she recounted the surprises of the evening. Jordan couldn't help but stare at her. Being able to observe her this closely, even in the poor flickering light of the street lamps, Jordan was awed. He had never met anyone as naturally beautiful as Angela Chase. After her laughter had died down they fell into an uncomfortable silence for the remaining fifteen blocks. Jordan kept running over different ways to strike up a conversation, but everyone sounded forced and uninspired. He wanted the next words out of his mouth to be something to cause her to realize how much she had missed him over the years. But while he was wasting time with this the cab pulled up outside Danielle's apartment. As their momentum slowed and Jordan watched Angela's hand reach for the door handle; he panicked and was struck mute.

"Well it was good to see you Jordan. Good luck with the rest of your tour… Goodnight." Angela's hand grazed his knee as she said goodbye and stepped out of the cab. She was vexed about the minutes she let slip away on the ride because she was self-consciously trying to construct a perfectly charming way to get Jordan to ask her along with him to whatever party he was attending. She needed more time, fifteen blocks was nowhere near sufficient. She had missed her opportunity and she was now kicking her stupidity as she stepped out of the cab. Jordan watched her moving away from him and sat breathless as the door closed behind her. He quickly fumbled for the door handle and almost fell out into the street.

"Angela," he shouted at her as she started up the steps to the apartment door. She turned on the spot to find him standing in the road behind the cab. He was looking at the concrete and nibbling on his thumbnail when he finally looked up to meet her eyes again. "We're going to be in town for another day or so. If you don't already have plans, could I possibly see you tomorrow? I feel like we didn't really get a chance to talk or catch up because of all the chaos at the show." Jordan feared that she would deny him and he would crumble right there in the Maple shaded street. He held his breath as he waited for her response.

"I'd really like that." She smiled shyly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Do you know where the Logan Square Farmer's Market is? We could meet there tomorrow morning, say around 10ish."

"I do. That sounds perfect. I'll see you then."

Angela turned and continued up the rest of the stairs. She was glad to have her back to Jordan because she was grinning like an idiot at his eager extension of their time together. Before she made it to the top step she heard the cab door close and it pull away. Jordan had melted into the back seat of the cab as soon as the door closed. He would meticulously count down the nine hours until he would see her again.

"Oh Driver? Could you turn round and take me back to location you picked us up from? I was really just along for the ride."

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><p><strong>The song in this chapter is Sinister Kid by The Black Keys, off their album Brothers. Take a gander if you want to know what I was picturing for the cooperative performance. And I promise more AngelaJordan time in the next chapter. Plus a flashback extravaganza! hah. **


	5. Chapter 5

**I own nothing... Here's the next chapter. I hope you didn't keep you waiting too long. Enjoy! Let me know what you're thinking. As always, thanks for reading. -K**

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><p><em>A market really is such an incredible place. <em> Angela thought to herself as she perused around the various stalls that made up the Logan's Square Farmer's Market. Her eye was drawn to all of the different colors and textures that could be brought together in a never ending combination of still life photographs. Also, in a setting like this, the population varied so vastly that it would be perfect to shoot a series of portraits. Angela's mind frequently drifted to the photo opportunities that surrounded her, especially when she had absent mindedly forgotten her camera at home. She owed her love of photography to Brian Krakow. When they had dated during high school he had given her an antiquated Canon 35mm for her birthday. Being able to look at the world through a view finder helped give Angela a different perspective. It allowed her to separate herself from any situation or location, really take everything in and appreciate the simple beauty of the world around her. She was kicking herself for not having a lens at her side this morning.

Angela had woken up far earlier that necessary. And in all honesty she hadn't slept well the night before. The idea of spending time alone with Jordan Catalano had her mind buzzing. She remembered having to fight her way through conversations with him when they were younger, and she was keeping her fingers crossed that today's outing wouldn't be riddled with the same teenage awkwardness. Because she couldn't sleep Angela got a jump on the day and had ended up at the market an hour before the time she had agreed to meet Jordan. She was thankful for this extra time. It allowed her to settle her mind before coming face to face with him again. Running into him at the concert last night had thrown her for a loop, and in the morning hours she was moderately regretting having not engaged Jordan in some sort of conversation when she had had the opportunity. She was thankful that he had asked to see her again the following day and saw this as her chance to redeem herself.

As Angela took her focus off the saturated color palate of one vendor's produce, she spotted Jordan on the other side of the market. She backed further into the booth so that she would be hidden from sight, but would still be able to observe him for a moment unnoticed. Jordan's chin length locks of high school had been shed; however he still retained a bit of shag in his current hair style. Just enough so that it fell over his ears and rogue strands drifted around his eyes. She could tell even from a distance that he had a few days worth of stubble shading his face. The facial hair suited him and his_ 'whatever happens, happens'_ philosophy. The green and blue plaid button down shirt he had on was clearly well worn. It was in fact Jordan's favorite shirt and it had seen its fair share of long days and wild nights throughout his years of touring. The collar was fraying slightly and the second button from the bottom had gone missing years ago. The well tailored denim that Jordan had decided to put on that morning did not escape Angela's observation either. _I didn't think Jordan Catalano would ever look more irresistible than he did leaning up against lockers, but he has proven me wrong once again. _ Angela was just about to leave the booth and shout to him when she noticed a group of young girls run up and flock to his side. She stopped and watched him interact with them. Despite the distance and crowd between them, Angela could see that he engaged the whole group of fans. He took time to take pictures with each of them, and signed any item they put in front of him. After a round of hugs he broke free from the girls and caught Angela's eye as she stood on the other side of the market.

_I knew coming to this public of a place was a bad idea. I just want some time alone with her, and I'm going to waste the entire morning taking pictures with people I don't know and signing my name on their t-shirts. _

"Okay girls. It was really great to meet all of you but I really have to be…" Jordan scanned around the market and his eyes settled on the beacon of auburn hair located just a few yards off, which was watching him intently. _Is she trying to kill me? No one should be able to look that flawless. _ Angela had opted to embrace the lovely spring weather and had worn her favorite floral dress. The majority of the fabric was a rich royal blue and was peppered with small yellow and white flowers. The scooped neckline was embellished by an ivory lace trim and the fitted bodice had small pearl buttons down the front. Her copper hair feathered around her shoulders and face. The soft green eyes, which had kept him company for the last few years, looked up as if sensing that he was looking at her. Once they made eye contact, Angela smiled brightly at Jordan from the booth she was hiding in. He wanted to walk over to her, but he had the strange sensation of weakness in his knees and legs so he remained stationary as she came to him. Jordan stood dumbfounded as he watched her weave through the crowd on her path towards him. Before he knew what he was doing, Jordan instinctively bent forward and greeted her with a small kiss on the cheek. Angela was surprised by the intimate greeting that she reserved only for her closest friends and family. Feeling Jordan's lips graze her skin caused Angela to blush.

_I should probably feel guilty for having caught her off guard with that type of greeting, but seeing that color rise to her face and flush down the pale skin of her neck makes this whole outing today completely worth it. I must have embarrassed her; she's avoiding looking at me now. I hope I didn't already screw this up within the first few seconds of seeing her. _

"Morning. Sorry if it took me a little longer to get here. I've been stopped for autographs and photos twice already. I'll apologize right now in advance if we get bothered by anyone else. I should have remembered to grab sunglasses or a hoodie, but my mind was elsewhere." Jordan couldn't stop staring at her. He felt like he was seventeen again. No woman he had met in recent memory had commanded his attention so fully by just standing there.

"Oh it will be fine. I have a pair of old Ray Bands in my bag somewhere if things really start to get out of hand. Did you have an okay time finding the place?" Angela avoided Jordan's eye line. She knew that her face was still slightly flushed, but she very much enjoyed the feeling of having Jordan Catalano scanning her from head to toe as if he were cataloging visual references of her for his memory. She turned and began to lead them further into the market.

Their conversation started off unsure, but eventually the fell into a comfortable rhythm. They talked about the ideal weather that the stratosphere gods had blessed them with that May morning. Jordan filled her in on all of their latest tour stops. He recounted some of the most interesting run-ins with crazed fans. She laughed at his misfortunes and the ridiculousness of the situations his fame had put in him. Jordan was surprised to hear that Angela was no longer living in Chicago and was now living in Michigan. He was genuinely interested in the new city that she had decided to lay roots in.

"It's a city of moderate size. And it's close to the lake. My apartment is in a quaint little area that has plenty of shops and boutiques. I'm a five minute bike ride away from my job. One of the best indie theaters is two blocks away from me and there are plenty of well kept parks in the area too. It's actually kind of perfect." Angela felt like she was nervously filling up the silence between them with ramblings of unimportant details about her new address. As she continued on, they reached the floral section of the market. Angela stopped briefly and drew in a deep breath. She was thankful that she after working the flower shop for two years that she hadn't lost her admiration of the simple beauty of any and every type of flower. "I've been working for a while in a flower shop."

"Really? I wouldn't have ever guessed that. But, now that I think about it I can't really pinpoint what I would have imagined you doing as a career in the first place." In his mind Angela Chase operated outside the roles and confines or everyday life. For him it was enough that she existed, he never really gave much thought to what type of normal activities would fill her days.

"It's hard for me to imagine doing anything else now. I really do love my job. Which I'm sure is something you understand… since you have quite possibly the coolest job on the planet. Mr. Bigshot Musician. But for me, I feel accomplished when I am able to make something and see my efforts materialize. Sometimes I'm still awed at how naturally beautiful certain combinations of flowers can be. Weird, huh?" Angela meandered among the different bundles of fresh flowers. She would stop at intervals of their conversation and stick her face in a bouquet and take another deep breath. Jordan knew nothing of flowers, but Angela's interest and knowledge in them was quite contagious.

"What's this one called?" Jordan ran his fingers along the wide purple petals of an oddly shaped blossom.

"That's an Iris. They come in all types of colors,but are most typically that beautiful hue of violet, and they vary in size. I think their irregular shape makes them really remarkable."

"Hmm.. do you have a favorite? Or do they all just sort of blend together now that you're surrounded by them on a regular basis?" Jordan was enjoying the ease of this conversation. If he had managed to be this relaxed around her when they were younger maybe their pseudo-relationship would have lasted longer than a month. Of course, these days he had far fewer hormones raging through his mind and body, or at least he had finally learned how to function with them.

"Oddly enough I do, it's the ranunculus. They have to have some around here somewhere…" Angela craned her neck to get a better idea of the market's inventory. A short ways off she spotted her favorite flower. "Here we go. I can't really articulate why, but this little lady is by far my favorite. I think maybe it's because it's so simple looking at first glance, but if you really look at the structure of the blossom it's quite complex. Plus it comes in any color you could ever want. And the way the stems bend and twist makes it a little quirky. When you put a few dozen of them in arrangement together they look a bit whimsical. And who doesn't like a little whimsy in their life right?" She worried that she was boring him, but when Angela glanced back at Jordan she was met with a contended smile and a nod of understanding.

"Whimsy. There just isn't enough of that around…" He said as he continued to follow her through the floral region of the market. As they made their way to some local food vendors Jordan's stomach began to grumble. He had been in such a hurry to leave the hotel to meet her that morning he had completely forgotten to grab any sort of breakfast.

"Well it sounds like someone is hungry. What are you in the mood for? Oooh! Falafel!" The extravagantly advertisement had caught his attention right as Angela had said it. They each ordered lunch and found a vacant spot in some shaded grass to eat.

"I haven't had falafel this good since the time we stopped at the small Greek restaurant outside of Pittsburg on that weekend we played the festival for battle of the bands, when you and Rayanne had come along to handle the merchandise for us. Do you remember that place?" Jordan said sporadically through mouthfuls of his lunch.

"Hah. I remember. That was one of the best weekends of my entire teenage life."

_May 1997_

_Jordan, Shane and Tino had finally worked out a handful of songs and were starting to gain a decent amount of recognition in Three Rivers and some of the smaller surrounding towns. Tino had gotten word of battle of the bands taking place in Pittsburg. Since he and Rayanne had were currently on again in their on again/off again relationship he had asked her if she wouldn't mind coming along to sell the band's merchandise during the event. Rayanne hadn't really been thrilled at the idea of being stuck selling t-shirts and cds by herself for three days so she begged Angela to come with her. _

"_Come on AngelFace. You're seventeen now. Live a little. It will do you some good to get out of the confines of Three Rivers, even if it is just for a weekend. We can tell Pattycakes that there's a fieldtrip to Philadelphia for History class… The boys want leave Thursday morning and we'd be back early Sunday night. Pleeeeaaaseee I'm begging you.. Don't make me deal with those dumb boys on my own for three nights. I'll lose my precious mind." Rayanne was dancing around Angela in the girl's bathroom. They were both seniors now and had ended up with a free period during the middle of the day. _

"_Okay Rayanne. I'll talk to my mom. But I'm not making any promises." Angela was secretly thrilled at the idea of the weekend adventure. After her relationship with Brian had fizzled out over the summer, Jordan Catalano had slowly began consuming into her thoughts again__ even though he had graduated the year before. Angela and only seen Jordan a handful of times when his band was playing at Vertigo. He always had a kind and slightly devious smile for her, but they hadn't ever had much chance to sit down and talk. _

"_So we have to spend the weekend in the van with you and your girlfriend, or whatever she is? I'm sorry man. But that girl is batshit crazy, any way you look at it. She's always off the wall about something or another." Shane and Tino had started arguing once Tino informed him and Jordan that Rayanne was going to be accompanying them to Pittsburg. _

"_Calm down, bro. We needed someone to watch merch for us. Plus she has a cousin who lives in town who said we could crash at his place while we're there. Two birds my friend, two birds." _

"_Shane I'm sure it'll be cool. I wasn't really looking forward to sleeping with you two in that damn van anyway."_

_As they made their way out of the loft with all of their equipment, they found Rayanne and Angela standing next the large white van which they would be taking out of town. "Morning fellas. What do you say we get this show on the road? I brought snacks!" Rayanne held up a large grocery bag full of candy. _

"_The last thing I want while being stuck in a car for a few hours with you Graft is to have you on sugar buzz. Did your friend come to wish you safe travels?"_

"_Actually Jones, she's tagging along. I'm not dumb enough to let myself be surrounded by you three mongoloids for the weekend. Angelica is coming with to help keep me sane. Plus, this face will help sell a ton of cds. Don't you agree Catalano?" Angela's face reddened as Rayanne shouted for Jordan's attention. He had been loading their gear into the back of the van and trying to figure out a way that he was going to be able to avoid any awkward situations with Angela if she was really going to be taking the trip with them to Pittsburg. Although he had to admit, the thought of being able to spend some time with her again after their falling out a couple years back was appealing. He had noticed her at their shows more frequently, especially since he had found out that she was no longer dating Brain. He wondered if she still had any interest in him, and her showing up that morning was definitely a sign towards the positive. _

"_What? Oh yeah. Sure I guess. Hey Angela." He walked over to her and took the overnight bag she had brought with her, tossing it in the back of the van with the rest of the equipment. She smiled and nodded at him, feeling a bit out of place. Jordan turned back to Rayanne, "So Graft, Tino mentioned that you have a cousin in Pittsburg that we can crash with while were down there? Because if you girls are coming with sleeping in the van isn't really much of an option anymore." _

"_Yeah. My cousin Reggie lives down there and he's totally cool with us staying there. Let's blow this popsicle stand!" The five of them piled into the van. Jordan volunteered to drive and Shane had called shotgun. That left Angela, Rayanne and Tino scrunched up in the back seat. They reached their destination after a few hours and familiarized themselves with the venue. Jordan went to check and see what time they were scheduled to play and found out that they would be on in an hour or two. Not having much time to practice, they started to unload their gear and set up their merch booth. The three guys left the girls in charge as they made their way to the smallest of the three stages where they would be performing. _

"_Good luck boo!" Rayanne cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted at Tino as he walked away. He waved back to her without turning around. Jordan turned to glance back in Angela's direction after they had separated by a few yards, and smiled bashfully when he found her watching him. Angela was glad that the spot they picked wasn't too far from the stage so she could the band play, but didn't have to follow them._

_After their set, which had went better than they could of hoped for considering that they were all pretty worn out from their early morning departure, the guys walked up to the booth to find it busier than expected. They knew crowd had enjoyed their music, but the twenty guys or so crowding their table this early seemed a bit unnatural. Jordan walked around the crowd to find Angela grinning at a few of the guys who were asking questions about the bands and the cds that were for sale. He realized instantly that these guys weren't interested in Residue, but were more than willing to spend a couple extra bucks on a cd, that they'd probably never listen to, if it meant getting a chance to chat up cute green eyed girl behind the table._

"_You girls deserve a break. We can take over from here." Jordan dismissed them and within moments the group of 'fans' dispersed. Jordan couldn't help but feel irritated the amount of attention Angela was getting. But as per usual she was oblivious to it. She flashed Jordan one of her radiant smiles as she left the booth with Rayanne to check out some of the other bands and grab some lunch. _

"_Hey Ray! Don't wander too far. I'd hate to have to lay some guy out if I caught him making eyes at you." Tino joked as the girls walked away. Jordan understood his sentiments. It was going to be a long weekend if he had to sit by and watch Angela flirt with countless other guys at the event. Rayanne and her horrible ideas…_

_The band moved on through the competition throughout the weekend. They had advanced to the final round by Saturday night. Angela and Rayanne had closed down the merch table early because they wanted to be able to be in the crowd to cheer them on to victory. Angela danced around in the mass of people to the songs that she had grown to love over the last few months. She could help but stare at Jordan as he stood on stage. Any relative shyness that he had in social situations seemed to slip away when he was in front of a microphone. She knew then that he was destined to do this for the rest of his life. She beamed with pride when he found her in the crowd and held her gaze longer than necessary. The band had caused a ruckus with the audience and performed flawlessly, but they fell short of winning the competition. Despite the expected disappointment, the group was thrilled at how well they did performing for their first large crowds who weren't kids from Three Rivers._

_After they had packed up all of their gear and left the venue, the five of them made it back to Rayanne's cousin's house for a night of celebration before heading home the next day. Angela felt a little out of place because she wasn't as accustomed to any adverse partying like the rest of them were. Her stomach was beginning to ache from hunger since she had been too nervous and distracted during the day's events to eat much. She remembered seeing a restaurant called the Pita Pit a few blocks from where they were staying and decided that even though it was starting to get late that she would walk down to get some food. _

"_Right now? You're walking there alone?" The idea of Angela walking around by herself in an unfamiliar city made him uncomfortable. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if anything happened to her. Putting down his bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon, he decided that he was going with her whether she wanted him too or not. "I'm actually pretty hungry myself. What kind of restaurant did you say it was? Greek? Works for me." He followed her out the door. _

_Angela and Jordan had been sitting in the restaurant for the last hour and a half. After daring each other to try something they could barely pronounce off the menu, they fell into an easy rhythm of conversation. She told him all about what had happened at Liberty High since he had graduated. He rattled off stories of the stupid situations he, Tino and Shane had found themselves in since they had started playing shows in different cities. She could tell that he was really happy with the places his life was taking him. She told him of her plans to attend school out of state in the fall. Up until that moment every time Angela looked up at Jordan, he had been smiling and it had continually melted her heart. But after telling him about her future plans, she could see something changed in his expression. "Hey, what's up? Did I, like, say something wrong?"_

"_No, not at all. It's cool, that you're like moving on with your life. It'll just be weird in Three Rivers without you. I mean we don't like see each other that much anymore, but this weekend has been really cool." Jordan dropped his gaze from her green eyes that were searching him, and started to push around the bits of food left on his plate. "I guess I was just kind of like hoping that we could spend some more time together now that you'll be done with school soon. But I'm sure you're going to be busy getting ready to leave for college or whatever."_

"_Jordan. It's only the middle of May. I'm not going to be leaving until August. I'd really like it if we could spend some time together before I leave. It kind of feels like we have unfinished business or something." Angela said now feeling unsure of her confession. _

_Upon hearing her mutual desire to spend more time together Jordan's mood lightened again. "So, let's get out of here. But I don't really want to go back to that house just yet. There was a park a couple blocks back, want to go, like, check that out for a bit?" Angela nodded eagerly and the left the restaurant. Once they were on the sidewalk Jordan slipped his hand into Angela's and held it tightly as they walked slowly to the abandoned park. _

_After spending another couple hours sitting on a large wooden bench at the park they eventually made their way back to the house. Shane was passed out on the bathroom floor and they assumed that Rayanne and Tino were already asleep in the spare bedroom since the door was shut and locked. Jordan sat down on the couch in the living room to take his muddy shoes off. Angela tiptoed over to the couch and curled up next to Jordan. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in closer, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. He wanted badly to show her more affection, it felt so good to have her next to him again after all this time, but he was nervous of scaring her off too fast. Within minutes they had both melted into the comfort of each other's presence and had drifted off to sleep completely content with the possibilities of being able to spend time together over the next couple of months. _

Present day:

"Do you remember the huge fight that Tino and Rayanne got into on the way back to town?" Jordan started laughing to himself. "I could barely focus on what ramps to take while she was yelling across the van about how she had caught him looking at some other girl before we left the competition. I don't know how those two managed to stick together for all those years, it seems like they were always fighting and screaming at each other about something." Jordan's laughter quieted once he left his nostalgic state and remembered why Tino and Rayanne weren't together any longer. Angela had stopped eating and was keenly focused on her plate in front of her. She was trying to retain her composure after being faced with so many happy memories of her best friend. When she looked back up at Jordan, he could see a tear brimming in her eye and threatening to fall at any moment.

"Angela, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up. I heard about what happened to Rayanne. I should have called you when I found out, but I never knew what to say. It's been what, two years? From what Tino says missing her never gets any easier." He wanted to reach across the table and hold her. Maybe then she could feel how much he hated himself for all of the ways he had failed her, including not being able to be there for her when she lost one of her best friends.

"It's okay Jordan. I was just remembering how much fun I had with her, and it's really hard knowing that it can't ever happen again. There were so many variables on the night that we lost her, I replay it over and over again thinking that if I had made one decision differently maybe she'd still be here." Angela's voice was soft and strained. It was tearing Jordan up not being able to do anything to comfort her. Nothing would bring Rayanne back.

"I was completely unaware that she had died until a year and a half ago when I ran into Tino and had asked him why he hadn't been at our show the last time we played in Chicago. Apparently, we had played the Aragon Ballroom that same night. Disgustingly ironic isn't it?"

Angela's face had lost all of its color. She looked completely drained as she listened to Jordan recount the odd string of events of the night Rayanne Graft died of alcohol poisoning. "Jordan, I was at that concert. And because I there watching you perform, I wasn't with Rayanne. Fate really fucked me over on that one." She stood up and walked away from the table, feeling guilty looking at Jordan because she had displaced so much of her anger at herself from that night towards him, even though she knew she had no right to blame him for something he had no control over or knowledge about. She had lost her best friend because she wanted to watch her old high school crush sing a few songs. It all seemed so trivial and meaningless and cruel.

Jordan jumped up from his seat and followed Angela. He reached out to grab her hand as she walked away from him. He knew that he hadn't caused Rayanne's death, but he hadn't been there to help Angela grieve. The sorrow he found in her eyes when she finally turned to face him shattered his heart. "Angela, I'm sorry. So, so, sorry. For everything." He wanted her to know that he knew he had never really done right by her, and that it was the biggest regret of his life. He had hoped for so long that there was a way to change all of the mistakes he had made concerning her that eventually he lost himself in them and lost sight of her completely. He stood with his hands resting on both of her upper arms, drowning in her green eyes as she started back up at him. One tear fell gracefully down her cheek.

"I know Jordan. It wasn't your fault, but it's still hard to look at you and not think about what happened that night. Thank you for today. It really was lovely, but I have to go." She raised herself up on the tips of her toes and kissed Jordan softly on the corner of his mouth. After resting there for a moment, she turned quickly and exited the market.

Jordan stood still feeling like his feet had become anvils, not allowing him the possibility of chasing after her. _Why am I always watching her walk out of my life? I don't deserve her any more now than I did when I was a kid. All I've ever done is mess her life up, she's clearly better off without me._ His chest ached as her copper hair and blue dress faded from his sight. Jordan remained in the same spot until she had completely disappeared. As he turned to leave, he wiped the trail of tears on his face away with soft sleeve of his plaid shirt.


	6. Chapter 6

**I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone for the kind reviews I've received. Your nice words really do make me smile. Someone had mentioned that in the last chapter Angela's misplaced anger towards Jordan over Rayanne's death was rather confusing. I tried to readdress it in this chapter and hopefully articulated/clarified it a little better. Let me know if things are still too muddy. After reading through these chapters I've noticed that everything has been so weepy. Hah. Sorry about all of the downers, I promise things will get better & brighter for everyone's favorite couple. It just wouldn't feel right if things came too easily for them. Anyway, enough of my ramblings. I hope you enjoy this chapter & thanks again for reading. As always, let me know what you're thinking! -K**

**(I own nothing...)**

* * *

><p>She was lost, literally and figuratively. After leaving the market, Angela needed sometime to steady herself after being confronted by her grief over losing Rayanne, which she had attempted to push away for the last two years. Now she found herself in an area of town she couldn't remember ever having been in and her throat ached from trying to hold back her emotions in front of Jordan. She knew he hadn't brought up Rayanne on purpose. But she couldn't help associating him with that night. <em>That was probably the last time I'll ever see Jordan Catalano and I practically ran away in tears. Thinking about Rayanne still hurts so much. Being around him, combined with being in this city again makes losing her feel current and still completely overwhelming. <em> It took a good thirty minutes before Angela composed herself well enough and managed to find a street that she was familiar with. She headed back in the direction of Danielle's apartment with memories of the day Rayanne died crowding her mind.

_June 12, 2002_

_Angela's fingers had begun to wrinkle due to the twenty minutes she had just spent washing dishes. Originally living with Rayanne had seemed like an exciting idea, filled with nonstop parties and meeting all sorts of new, interesting people from her extensive social circle. But now that it had been three months, Angela was starting to be easily irritated by her friend's sloppy housekeeping habits and unwillingness to take time out from her hectic schedule of socializing in order to help clean up around the apartment. Due do the faucet running, Angela had not heard Rayanne open the door into the living room of their apartment. Her unexpected arrival made Angela nearly jump out of her skin._

_ "ANGELICA! Honey I'm home!" Rayanne tossed her guitar case on to the couch, and went to lean on the counter in the kitchen to see what Angela was up to. "Oh shit. I meant take care of those dishes before I left today. Sorry dollface. I don't know where my head is lately. I'll do them next time. Scouts honor." Rayanne walked the short distance from the kitchen over to the couch. She sat down, taking her acoustic guitar out of its case and started plucking at the strings. _

_ Rayanne had moved to Chicago three months ago to try and pursue a career in music. She had a strong voice, but her insecurities sometimes got the best of her and took the form of crippling stage fright. She had started off playing small shows in Three Rivers and was continually praised by Tino for her vocal talents. Since Angela had decided to keep living in Chicago after graduation, Rayanne saw it as the perfect opportunity for them to be reunited again. The four years of Angela's absence had been hard on Rayanne, but she had managed with the company of Tino and Ricky back in Three Rivers. But Ricky had started working full time at counseling center for trouble teens last year and was now dedicating most of his time to that. The two girls had moved into a small apartment over in Logan's Square and had spent every waking minute of the first month together. Now that the novelty of living together had wore off the two were spending more and more time apart. To help with the rent, Tino had moved in with them as well temporarily, until Rayanne found a steady job. Rayanne worried that Angela was getting sick of having her around, but then she convinced herself that that was nonsense. They were destined to be best friends until the end of time. No one understood her like her Angelica. _

_ Tonight was a big night for Rayanne. She had gotten an offer to play at a small coffee shop in their neighborhood. Even though she would only be playing only a few songs and it wasn't her first show, Rayanne was still so nervous that she felt like she was visibly trembling. A little extra practice wouldn't hurt. She strummed the first few chords, Angela recognized the song immediately. _

You hit me once  
>I hit you back<br>you gave a kick  
>I gave a slap<br>you smashed a plate  
>over my head<br>then I set fire to our bed

My black eye casts no shadow  
>Your red eye sees no blame<br>Your slap don't stick  
>Your kicks don't hit<br>So we remain the same  
>Blood sticks<br>Sweat drips  
>Break the lock if it don't fit.<p>

A kick in the teeth is good for some,  
>a kiss with a fist is better than none<p>

_Angela had heard Rayanne rehearse many times before. She was unbelievably proud of her friend for having the guts to put herself out there in the music scene. There was no doubt that Rayanne could carry a tune, and on most nights jaws dropped when people heard such a powerful voice coming out of a petite girl. Her lyrics had been known to cause a bit of a stir, but Rayanne wouldn't have it any other way. Angela began to harmonize with her friend as she finished up with the dishes in the kitchen. She danced around the living room and sang along with Rayanne. _

I broke your jaw once before,

spilt your blood upon the floor.  
>You broke my leg in return,<p>

So let's sit back and watch the bed burn.

Blood sticks

sweat drips  
>break the lock if it don't fit<br>a kick in the teeth is good for some  
>a kiss with a fist is better than none<p>

You hit me once  
>I hit you back<br>you gave a kick  
>I gave a slap<br>you smashed a plate over my head  
>then I set fire to our bed<p>

"_I hope you plan on playing that song tonight. I always love everyone's expression when you do. No one ever knows what to make of it… or what to make of you for that matter." Angela laughed as she picked up some of her books that she had left lying around on the coffee table._

"_And why should they be able to? I am an enigma." Rayanne leaned back into the couch and set her guitar down. "Are you sure you can't make it tonight? I would feel a lot better if you were there. Plus Ricky called to say he'd be in town tonight for the show. It would be so awesome to have my two best friends in the whole wide there cheering me on." She flashed Angela a pleading smile as Angela turned around. _

_Angela had her arms full of books and printed articles, she stopped in the doorway of her bedroom and looked at Rayanne. "I'm sorry Ray, but I already promised my friend Margot that I'd help her fine tune the research paper that we wrote together last year. I told you that. Tonight is the only night we both have free to work on it before it's presented for scholarship." Angela felt bad about not being able to go to Rayanne's show, but she was going to have Ricky, Tino, and maybe even Sharon there to support her. She hoped the guilt wasn't apparent on her face._

"_Yeah. I know you already told me, but it still doesn't make any sense. You graduated over two months ago. Why are you still doing school work? If you ask me, you should just let Margot Polo do her own damn revising and you can come out to celebrate with us."_

"_Well my name is on the paper, I want to make sure it turns out well. I'm pretty proud of it. You know I wish I could be there to see you sing tonight. Hopefully it won't take too long and I'll be able to meet up with all of you guys after I'm done at the campus library." Angela shut her bedroom door behind her and looked at herself in the mirror. She knew lying to Rayanne was a shitty thing to do, but she couldn't see any other option. She had noticed a flyer a few days ago saying that Residue would be performing at the Aragon Ballroom that night. When Angela saw it, her heart skipped a few beats. It had been almost five years since she had been face to face with Jordan Catalano. Her face still blushed all these years later when she thought about him. In spite of their poor excuse of a relationship, Angela had always felt an undeniable attraction and connection to him. She wasn't currently dating anyone, so she thought she might try and catch him at his concert to see if there were still any sparks between them. Angela knew it was a long shot, but spending even one night with Jordan would be well worth it. The only drawback was that she had to blatantly lie to Rayanne and Ricky about her whereabouts for the evening. But what they didn't know, she hoped wouldn't hurt them. She finished getting ready in her room and walked back out in the living room to find Rayanne still curled up on the couch, however, now she had a bottle of Jim Beam sitting in front of her._

"_Ray. Do you really think that is such a good idea? Why don't you put the liquor away and head down to the coffee shop to set up. I'll even walk you there; it's on my way to the library." Angela reached for the bottle but Rayanne swiped it from her grasp._

"_I just need it to calm my nerves a little bit. You look awfully fancy for an evening of revising research." There was an awkward silence between the two friends as Angela sat down to put on her shoes. "Have I told you how much I love your new haircut Angelface? The short pixie look really works for you. I mean you're not a red siren anymore, but you're still a total babe. Hey, if you run into Mr. Right tonight at the library you're sure to knock his socks off." Rayanne smiled at her friend trying to cover up her hurt feelings due to the fact that Angela wouldn't be in attendance that night. _

"_Thanks Ray. And good luck tonight, even though I know you won't need it." As she turned to walk out the door a small folded paper had wiggled its way out of Angela's back pocket and landed on the floor right in front of the door. Rayanne didn't notice as she settled in and poured herself another drink. _

"_Hey man. Did you ever hear from Tino? It would be awesome to see him tonight." Shane leaned up against a table back stage at the Aragon. He was drumming on the wall next to him with two random pens he had found lying around, an unconscious habit he had ever since he was young. _

"_When I phoned him a few weeks ago to get his new number, his old man said he couldn't remember it off the top of his head. He said that he would find it and relay my message to Tino for me. I told him to make sure he knows that I put him on the VIP guest list, and he was welcome to bring anyone he wanted." Jordan sat and thumbed mindlessly through a stack of magazines that were on the coffee table of the green room back stage. _

"_Is there anyone in particular you're hoping he'll bring? When I talked to him a couple months ago he said he was moving to Chicago to live with Graft. You've got your fingers crossed that they'll bring Chase with them, don't you? Bro, I have never understood what your hang up on that girl is. You're going to have countless beautiful women screaming and begging to touch you in a few minutes and you've still got your mind on some skinny little weird redhead from high school. Not to mention Madison is a stone cold fox. If you keep this distracted nostalgic yearning thing up all night, she's going to dump your ass. Wise up Catalano." Shane walked away from Jordan shaking his head. He loved the man like a brother, but he would never understand the twisted way his brain worked. As Shane took a seat next to Eli and Chandler on the far side of the room, Madison Pearson, Jordan's girlfriend of six months walked back stage. She was tall and slender. She had dark raven hair that feel reached the middle of her back. The dress she had on looked as though she had been vacuumed sealed into it. Sure her conversation skills left something to be desired, but Shane thought Jordan was a fucking idiot if he was going to screw things up with her over some stupid high school crush._

"_Hey baaabe." Madison walked over and kissed Jordan on the mouth. He was in a bit of a daze, and she had caught him unawares. "I'm so pumped about tonight. I heard that everyone is going to be here. There's some serious media coverage outside. If you guys do really well tonight, next year at this time you could be headlining your own tour. And then we won't be stuck in that dingy old bus anymore. But I have to jet. I promised some friends that I'd sit with them in the VIP section. I'll see you after the show. Kisses."_

_When she left Jordan felt no differently than when she had arrived. His interest in Madison was waning quickly. He would have to break it off with her soon. It just didn't seem like it was worth the effort anymore. _

_Rayanne looked at the clock and realized that she only had twenty five minutes to get down to the coffee shop and get things ready before she began her set. As she was about to walk out the door she noticed a small piece of blue paper was folded on the floor. She picked it up and examined the flyer. She didn't recognize the name of the band that was supposed to be playing at the Aragon. It must be some band Angela was into. Taking another look she noticed two elements on the flyer that made her blood pressure rise. On the left side it said "With special guests: RESIDUE" and on the right "June 12__th__ – Doors at 7". Instantly she knew that Angela wasn't going to be spending her evening at the library. She had lied right to her face. Rayanne felt betrayed. She wanted to rip all of Angela's posters off the walls and snap all of her vinyl albums in half. Instead she walked calmly into Angela's room and searched pen. She wrote on the back of the flyer:_

"_Hope you had a lovely evening. Next time Catalano is in town tell him to give me a call. I'd really like to go for another spin in the back seat of his Plymouth. Love –R" _

_Rayanne left the flyer on Angela's bed. Before she exited the bedroom Rayanne threw her empty glass at the wall with all of the force and aggression she could muster. Then she walked out of the apartment, her guitar case still leaning up against the closet. When she got to the side walk, instead of turning right and heading over to the coffee shop, Rayanne crossed the street and walked three blocks east to her favorite dive bar and immediately ordered three rounds of Jameson and told the bar tender to keep them coming. _

_Angela exited the red line at the Lawrence stop, a few blocks up she was confronted with a long line that was waiting outside of the Aragon. She was thankful that it was a warm night since she realized she'd be waiting outside for a good amount of time before they were let into the venue. Her anticipation increased exponentially as the line filed through the doors and everyone was corralled in the foyer before the large ornate staircase. Angela was captivated by the intricate tile work or the waiting area. She had never been inside the Aragon and thought that if this was just the entry way, then the main ballroom must be a masterpiece. She followed the mass of people up the stairs and into the large open room with a stage set up at the far end. Angela had managed to weasel her way fairly close to the front of the stage. She had snuck her 35mm camera out of the apartment with her. The lens she brought with didn't have a very long range so if she wanted any photographs of Jordan she knew she would have to be quite close. _

_There were plenty of bodies pushed up against each other at the front of the crowd. After introducing the band Jordan took a moment to survey the faces. They had played Chicago often over the last few years and he always enjoyed seeing a familiar smile reflecting back at him. Angela couldn't take her eyes off of Jordan. He looked completely different than the last time she had seen him, and yet exactly the same. His hair was shorter than she could remember ever having seen it. And it was bleached. Not all together Angela's style, but she had to admit that he pulled off the extreme look with authority. His pale skin, thin face, and iridescent eyes were enhanced by his new hair style. Jordan had actually joked with the crowd that he had bleached his hair after he lost a bet and would be returning to his natural hair color as soon as he could manage. After they had played the majority of their set list, Jordan offered his band mates a brief rest. He left his spot in the center of the stage and walked closer to left of the stage where there was a keyboard set up, which conveniently was position right in front of where Angela had managed to situate herself. For a quick second Angela regretted having cut her hair extremely short the previous week. The new cut, combined with the fact that she had let her hair return to its natural color meant she looked quite different than the last time she had been with Jordan. She began to fret: What if he was looking for a redhead and looked right past her? The lights in the ballroom dipped low as Jordan played out the intro harmonies on the black and white keys. _

Can't explain

Nor can I contain

the control

You have on my soul

All I do baby

is dream of you

I'm falling down

When you're around

You're the only one

You're the only one

I'm so wrapped up in a daze

Hoping this is just a faze

But when all is said and done

I know you're still the one

You're the only one

You're the only one

Cupid's bow is strung

Now you're the only one.

Mystery

Is what this is to me

I'm giving up

I'm having no luck

Like a ghost

The one I love most

She disappears

When I get near.

You're the only one

You're the only one…

_Angela couldn't remember a time that she had heard a more eerily beautiful and haunting song as the one Jordan was performing. The notes seemed to resonate through her body and his voice rang in her ears. Her body ached to be near him and help nullify whatever sorrow he had felt when he had penned those lyrics. She found it ironic that Jordan discovered an uncanny ability to write words that set his fan's hearts a blaze, especially since he had smashed her heart years ago when he couldn't find it in himself to personally write an apology letter for her. However, if he ever felt so inclined to write a song for her like the one she had just heard, Angela was willing to completely forget about that entire debacle. During the song she had managed to shoot a few frames of Jordan singing. And at one perfect moment his eyes had burned her lens. She felt like he was looking right through her. The way he had looked at her, Angela was positive that he had recognized her face in the crowd. Her whole body tingled at the thought of fate favoring her that night and allowing her a chance to make up for lost time with Jordan._

_After their set had finished, Jordan and the rest of the band started clearing their gear off the stage to make way for the head lining band. Angela kept a careful watch on Jordan, hoping that he would somehow signal to her to come back stage. But while she watched him move about the stage, she saw a tall, beautiful dark haired woman come up and wrap her arms around Jordan. He turned towards her instinctually and the woman practically swallowed Jordan's face in a frantic kiss. Angela's heart sank to the bottom of her stomach. It was unmistakable that the woman was at the very least Jordan's girl friend, if not something more serious. She felt instantly queasy as she observed the display of affection between the couple. They left the stage hand in hand after another minute or so. Angela did not stick around long enough to see this because she had already started pushing her way through the crowd hurrying towards the exit. _

_Backstage after the show Jordan wiped the sweat from his forehead. Madison was hanging around his neck and trying to introduce him to a waiting group of people. They were all friends of hers that she was hoping to impress because her boyfriend was semi famous. Jordan realized that she had been using him for the past few months because of this, but initially he had been willing to deal with it. She was the type of girl whose looks would stop traffic, but Jordan's attention was currently directed elsewhere. While he had been on stage, Jordan had felt a level of calmness settle over him that he had never experienced before. He wasn't in the habit of playing any personal songs during their sets, but something that night had driven him to. While he was standing at the keyboard he surveyed the crowd more intently than he had at the beginning of their set. Jordan thought he had seen a ghostly pair of green eyes that seemed to be from some past life. When he looked back the soft glow had disappeared and had left him feeling slightly cold and empty. _

"_Oh, it was a beautiful song wasn't it? I've never had someone write a song about me before. He never said flat out that it was about me, but I could just sort of tell. Jordan can be such a sweetheart sometimes." Madison was rambling on to her group of friends. Jordan had only caught the tail end of their conversation because he was still a bit out of sorts from the show._

"_Actually Mad, I wrote that song back when I was seventeen. Long before I met you." This statement from Jordan was met by a pregnant silence from the woman next to him and all of her friends. Madison had dropped her arm from around his waist and stood glaring at him. _

"_Well Catalano, maybe it's about time you did write something worthy of me. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be with me? I could be dating any number of musicians or guys in Hollywood, but for some strange reason I stick around here with you. I don't really know why anymore. It's hardly like you or this relationship is worth a damn. Maybe you should grow up and get over yourself." Madison huffed as she spun quickly to make a noisy and unmistakable departure. _

_Jordan hadn't been expecting the dramatic out burst from Madison, but he had to admit he felt quite relieved to stand there and watch her and her entourage exit the backstage area. He felt like he could instantly breathe easier without her around. Jordan looked around the room hoping to see that Tino had arrived late. Much to his disappointment he didn't see his old friend or any glimpse of red hair anywhere._

_Jordan walked over to where Shane was standing, stuffing his face with all of the complementary food that had been provided for them. _

_ "So Tino never showed, huh?" Jordan looked down and kicked at the carpet as he questioned Shane._

_ "I guess not bro. Sorry. I know you were hoping he'd show. Or maybe more so that she'd show. I recognized that song you played tonight man. If you would have just sung that for her instead of giving her that stupid letter you had the brain write, I think things would have been a lot different." Shane crunched on a celery stalk and looked at his friend apologetically. _

_ "Yeah. Well there's nothing I can really to do to change that… especially since she wasn't here tonight to hear it either. I don't think I'm going out with you guys tonight. I'm exhausted so I'm going to call it a night." Jordan grabbed the unopened bottle of Jameson off the table and headed toward where they had parked their bus. "I'll see you in the morning."_

_Angela pushed her way out on to the sidewalk bordering Lawrence Avenue. Since she left before the main band had even started playing, she had no problem hailing a taxi and made good time getting back to her apartment. She was hoping that with a quick change of clothes she'd be able to make it to the coffee shop and catch the tail end of Rayanne's performance. She rushed into the apartment and walked to bedroom without stopping to take off her shoes. On her way through the living room she hit the play button on the answering machine. As Angela walked into her room she heard and felt the bits of glass crunch under the sole of her shoe. She was slightly confused as to how broken glass had gotten on her floor. She stood for a second pondering this oddity, when she heard Tino's voice shouting out of the answering machine's speaker._

"_Rayanne! Where are you? I'm not going to call you again. You're supposed to be on in 10 minutes. Get your ass here now, woman!"_

_Angela stepped out of her room to listen to her rest of the messages. Next she heard Ricky's familiar voice, he sounded anxious and worried._

"_Rayanne if you're home please pick up. It's okay about the show, no one is really that upset. We just want to see you. Call me when you get this."_

_The next message was also from Ricky, but this time he wasn't calling for Rayanne._

"_Angela. When you get home I need you to call me. Why don't you or Rayanne have a cell phone? You're going to drive me to an asylum!"_

"_Angela. I just called the library and you weren't there. I hope you got home to get these messages. Call me as soon as you can. It's an emergency."_

"_ANGELA! Goddamnit! Where are you? Rayanne NEEDS you. I need you. I am not strong enough to handle this on my own. IF you get this don't bother to call, come to the hospital as soon as humanly possible!"_

_She looked down on her bed and saw the blue flyer for Jordan's concert that she had dropped earlier that day. She picked it up and saw the scribbled, snide message that Rayanne had left her on the back. In an instant all of the air was sucked form Angela's lungs. She knew then that Rayanne had figured out that she had lied to her. Having known Rayanne for so many years, she know that her primary way for dealing with any type of hurt feelings was to drown herself in a much whiskey as she could get her hands on. Angela turned and ran out of the apartment hoping that she wasn't too late._

_The harsh florescent lights and the sterile smell of the hospital made Angela gag as she made her way to the room that Rayanne was registered in. When she turned the corner she looked through the window to see Tino and Ricky standing beside the bed. Ricky was holding Rayanne's hand and Tino had her blanket knotted up in his fists. As Angela walked in to the room they booth looked up at her with tear stained faces._

_ "I'm sorry I got here as soon as I could. Is she…" Angela squeaked out through gasped breaths since she had ran up three flights of stairs, not wanting to wait on the crowded elevators. Neither of the men answered, but Ricky managed to shake his head in a negative response. Angela felt her legs give out and felt her body slam onto the hard tiled floor of the hospital room. Rayanne Graft was dead. _

Present day:

Danielle arrived at her apartment around one o'clockish. She hadn't intended on staying at Brian's place so late, but she was finding it harder and harder to leave his side recently. Especially when it meant that she had to crawl out of his cocoon like bed. She found Angela sitting at her kitchen table flipping through a cook book. Angela's bags were on the floor in the hallway.

"What's with this?" Danielle kicked Angela's bag as she took her shoes off and walked into the apartment.

"I'm going home. Sharon is on her way over to take me to the train station. I don't think I can be in this city any longer and retain my sanity."

"Shit Angela. I'm sorry. Are you mad at me for staying at Brian's? I would have come home if you had just called." Danielle was hurt that her sister had barely spent any time with her and was already leaving.

"No, it's nothing you did Dani. It's just too hard to be here. I can't stop thinking about Rayanne and on top of that, I met up with Jordan this morning… My mind is in overdrive. I need to get home for some peace." Angela heard Sharon's car honk outside in the street. "You should come up and see me when you get some free time." She leaned in and kissed her sister on the cheek before walking out the apartment door. Danielle stood in the kitchen irradiated, but not surprised to see her sister running away from what was bothering her for the thousandth time in her life.

"Thanks again for taking me to the station Sharon. I didn't really want to deal with any public transportation today."

"No problem Chase. Hey. Are you okay? I thought you were staying here for another couple days? Did something happen?" Sharon pulled up outside of Union Station. Angela had been silent on the drive across town, not giving any inclination as to why she was leaving early. Angela offered no response. She stepped out of the car door and grabbed her luggage from the back seat. Before walking away, she turned and stuck her head through the passenger window.

"Cherski, it was really good to see you. I miss you and Dani so much. This city just isn't any good for me. I can't be here any longer, I feel like I'm being smothered by ghosts."

"I'll come visit you soon I promise. Have a safe trip Chaseface!" Sharon called to her friend as she walked away from the car and through the main doors of Union Station. _Catalano really messed with that girl's head… _ Sharon thought to herself as she pulled away from the curb _… I guess it's a good thing I didn't mention the fact that Shane invited me to go on North Eastern leg of Residue's tour with him. At least I'll have plenty of time to talk some sense in to our friend Mr. Jordan Catalano._

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><p><strong>The song that Jordan sings in chapter is another Black Keys song (SURPRISE SURPRISE) fittingly titled The Only One. Sorry if my use of TBK is getting tired... their lyrics just lend themselves so well to this situation... You'll probably have to endure another couple references to them before I'm done. The song sang by Rayanne is by Florence &amp; the Machine<strong>_, **and is called **_**Kiss with a Fist. Both songs are amazing in their own right, completely out of context of this story. I strongly suggest you give them a listen. **_  
><em>


	7. Chapter 7

**Uggh. Sorry it took a bit longer than usual for me to get this posted. Woohoo for more flash back scenes. I hope you all enjoy this chapter; I certainly had fun writing it. Thanks again for reading & let me know what you're thinking. - K  
><strong>

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><p>The main interstate high way through upper New York was the definition monotonous. A straight stretch of dark pavement peppered with identical rest stop establishments that housed various fast food chains. There would be no stops for anything other than a fill up on gas. The plan was to drive through as much of the state as they could in one day to get to Rochester to play the first show on the Eastern leg of their tour. Jordan sat propped up at the bench table with his head leaning on the large window next to him and his left knee held up close to his chest. He watched the yellow high way lines blur past him as the bus hurled them toward another chaotic evening of screaming fans. It wasn't that he no longer felt grateful for the opportunities his life had afforded him, but he had a small nagging feeling that something wasn't quite right anymore. Everywhere he looked the colors seemed dulled and he never felt the same adrenaline rush he used to get as the hours drew closer to a performance. Jordan had been pretty withdrawn from everyone on the tour bus since they had departed Chicago. Any conversation that had Shane or Eli had struck up with him eventually died out because Jordan would eventually lose interest in the topic and start staring blankly out the nearest window. Jordan's introverted spiral was starting to worry his band mates; they had seen him draw into himself before, but it generally only lasted a day or two. Shane couldn't remember the last time he had seen his best friend smile, other than when he was in front of a crowd of their adoring fans, for the last week and a half.<p>

Being on the tour bus seven guys was far different that Sharon could have ever imagined. Everyone had been quite welcoming to her when she boarded the bus as the band left Chicago. She noticed that everyone basically kept to themselves while they were traveling between shows. Yet she sensed a distinct heaviness in the atmosphere on the bus. Currently, she was seated next to Shane on the couch, and was watching out of the corner of her eye as Shane blatantly stared at Jordan, who had been sitting staring out the window for the last hour. In fact the only thing she had witnessed Jordan do other than stare out that window, was cook. Sharon only knew of one other person who functioned as naturally in the kitchen as Jordan, and that was Graham Chase. She pondered the connecting factor between the two men and smiled to herself. While Jordan wasn't cooking she thought he looked a bit listless and lost. Since she had been bracing all of her weight against Shane while she skimmed through the newest issue of ELLE, when he started to get up off the couch Sharon toppled sideways. He turned and gave her a devious smile as he walked over to where Jordan was seated. Sharon took the opportunity to stretch out across the newly vacated couch, partly to stretch her cramped leg muscles and partly so that she would be able to slightly eves drop on the guys' conversation.

"Yo. Bro. Earth to Jordan. Where are you at man?" Shane slid into the bench seat across from Jordan and smacked his hand on the table to get his friend's attention.

"Sorry. We're you saying something? I was just of lost in my thoughts." Jordan's voice sounded small. He was buried so far inside himself, thinking about what had happen with Angela last week and if he could have done anything differently, that this slight social interaction appeared to be a challenge for him.

"Nah don't worry about it. You just haven't been talking to anyone… or doing anything but stare out this damn window. We're kind of worried about you. Shit. I thought by having Cherski invite Angela to the show you'd finally sleep with her and get over all of this. But my mistake man, you're even worse off than before." Shane pushed himself up from the table and started to make his way to the area of the bus that held their sleeping quarters.

"Actually, Shane, not that it is any of your business, but I did sleep with Angela." Shane had clearly missed the irritated, dry tone in Jordan's voice, because upon hearing this news he spun on the spot and turned around to give his friend a high five. Jordan didn't even flinch in reaction. He just stared at up at Shane from where he was sitting. "It was a long time ago. My hangup on her doesn't have anything to do with sex. Maybe that was part of it when we were kids, but damn it man, there are more important things than getting laid. I hope one day you grow up and figure that out." Jordan returned his attention to the passing scenery and Shane retreated to his bunk not knowing how to respond to his friend's insights. As the weighty silence settled over the bus again, Jordan allowed his thoughts to drift back to the night he had spent with Angela, the best and worst night of his life.

_August 1997_

'_Someone must have turned Mother Nature on her head because this weather certainly doesn't feel like August.' - Jordan thought to himself walked quickly along the sidewalk in one of the neighborhoods close to his house. The houses lining this street were larger and better kept than his. He felt out of place, like everyone watching him wondering what he was doing in their neighborhood. Jordan missed the safety and security that his Red Plymouth normally provided him. He had settled her in storage at his uncle's garage earlier that day. He felt like he was missing a part of himself, not having his car with him. He loved that car; it was the only thing that had ever truly been his. He had bought her cheap off a guy his uncle did side business with and had spent every spare moment he had over the last three years revamping and restoring her. And now where was Red? – parked inside some small storage garage. He couldn't bear the thought of selling her, but it was completely impractical for him and the guys to take a tour van and his car with them when they moved to New York. Having to walk to party that Tino was throwing as one final farewell to Three Rivers made his heartache just as much as it did his legs. The long walk to his intended location made Jordan acutely aware of the abnormally low temperatures, and he was glad that he hadn't packed his corduroy jacket away in the clothes he was planning to take with him. He and the rest of the guys had loaded up in the van along with all of their other possessions, earlier that day. Thinking ahead for once, they realized that packing the van earlier would be far better than packing it the next morning before they left, since after tonight they were all guaranteed to have horrendous hangovers. Tino had somehow acquired three kegs for the evening's festivities and Jordan was anxious to get to the party and help make a dent in them. _

_Angela stood in front of the full length antique mirror in her bedroom. She tugged on stray strand of her hair. It was the longest it had been in years, falling well past her shoulders. She had recently redyed it to a vibrant shade of red, and she couldn't tell if it made her feel more or less like herself again. The summer had been a blur. After the weekend trip with Rayanne and the guys in Residue to Pittsburg, she had anticipated being able to spend more time with Jordan, but the universe would not allow things to be so easy for Angela Chase. Her parents had urged, more like demanded, that she get a summer job so that she would have some moderate safety net of money in her savings account when she went away for her first year of college. Angela scored a part time job Vertigo making beverages and bussing tables on nights that they had bands performing and she also worked a few nights a week as a hostess at her dad's restaurant. Even though Residue performed at least every other week at Vertigo, Angela rarely got the chance to talk to Jordan, either he was busy setting up equipment or she was being called away by her shift manager to help with something behind the bar. The summer was not exactly going according to her plan. _

_Her mom, dad, and sister had left two days ago to go visit her grandparents at some lake house they were renting for the month of August. Thankfully Angela was scheduled a couple shifts at Vertigo this week, so she was allowed to stay home by herself. Rayanne had called earlier that morning to tell her about the major party Tino was throwing, since it was Jordan and the rest of the guys in Residue's last night in town. Angela faked a scratchy throat on the phone with her boss to gain an evening off and had spent the rest of the day trying on every article of clothing in her closet trying to decide on what was deserving enough be the last outfit Jordan Catalano would ever see her wearing. She had settled on her favorite pair of faded, worn jeans and a navy plaid flannel. It was typical, but it felt familiar. The last thing she wanted was to feel uncomfortable tonight. Angela decided to walk to the party, it was only a couple neighborhoods over and with her parent's being gone she didn't have to worry about them questioning her as to how she had planned to get home. She hadn't been able to save up enough money to buy her own car before she graduated and it seemed silly to try and do so now since she would be moving to a major city in a week or so and would be able to depend on public transportation. A few minutes after she had left the house, Angela regretted not grabbing a jacket; she hadn't expected it to be so cold in August. She hugged her arms around herself and rubbed her hands along her flannel sleeves in attempt to coax some heat back into her limbs. _

_There was no mistaking which house was the party destination. Even if Angela had never been to Tino's before, she would have had no trouble finding the place. The windows were open and she could hear the muddy sounds of some grunge band pouring out. She walked up to the side door and walked into a crowd of unfamiliar faces. Within moments of scanning the room, she heard a familiar shriek._

"_ANGELICA! I'm so happy you made it. I thought Patty might give you a hard time about coming out tonight." Rayanne ran up and flung her arms around her friend. Angela could smell the sweet scent of whiskey on her breath and then saw the flash of her metallic flask. Rayanne had managed to keep her drinking under control over the last few years. She had been working through her depression in ways that did not involve her emptying any bottles. But tonight was a night of celebration, and she wasn't going to sit idly by and watch everyone else have a good time. _

"_My family is gone for the week Ray. I told you that yesterday." Angela spoke absent mindedly to her friend as she took in the scene of people swarming around her. The majority of people who were packing the kitchen and dining room were all older than her, but she vaguely recognized some of them from the halls of Liberty High. _

"_Schwing! You lucky dog. Why aren't we having this party at your place then?" Rayanne joked as she tugged on Angela's shirt. "I thought I'd see you in something a little flashier tonight. Something that might catch a certain blue eyed beauty's attention…" _

"_Rayanne. Don't. I'm not here because of Jordan." The words dripped with dishonesty as they left Angela's mouth. Her friend gave her a knowing look. "Okay, well not solely for Jordan Catalano. This is the most talked about party of the summer; I couldn't really miss it and expect to have any form of a social life afterwards. So, what do you guys have to drink around here?" Angela gave a wily smile and Rayanne grabbed her arm dragging her to the downstairs bathroom where the kegs had been put in the bathtubs with plenty of ice. _

_The girls bobbed and weaved their way through the crowd, finally reaching the bathroom door. Angela was laughing so hard at some smart remark Rayanne made to a group of girls who had shown up uninvited that she had tears in her eyes. Her blurred vision caused her to run into the body propped up against the door frame outside of the bathroom. _

"_Whoa. Easy." A hand reached out to steady her, and Angela was glad that she was surrounded by people who were already drunk and hoped that her lack of natural grace might go unnoticed. When she looked up she was greeted by a familiar smile and set of cool blue eyes that sent a shiver down her spine. She didn't know why Jordan Catalano could disarm her so completely without even trying, but she didn't all together disapprove of it either. _

"_How can we help you lovely ladies?" Shane Jones was sitting on the sink counter with a tower of blue cups stacked up next to him. _

"_Can I get a cup?" Angela tried to project as much authority as she could, but she expected some sort of retort from Jones. He had never been out right mean to her, but he never let her off easy. Since the day that Jordan Catalano had grabbed her hand in the hallway, there had always been some sort of unspoken type of competition between Angela and Shane. She wasn't expecting his behavior tonight to be any type of exception. _

"_5 bones Chase. What's your preference: Pabst, Coors, or Budweiser?" Before she could answer someone had pressed a cool cup into her hand._

"_If you're out drinking, then tonight must be a special occasion. Yours is on the house." Jordan smiled broadly at her before he leaned in close enough so she could hear him clearly over the noise of the crowd surrounding them. "I didn't expect to see you here. I'm really glad you made it." _

_Angela's heart swelled. She went to thank him for the drink, but as she opened her mouth she watched Jordan turn and strike up a conversation with two brunettes she'd never seen before. She watched as he gave them what appeared to be the same honest smile that he had just shown her. The inconsistencies of Jordan Catalano were enough to drive her crazy. Angela could feel Rayanne tugging her towards some other area of the party. She paused briefly to take a large gulp of her frothy PBR. If she was going to be at the party, she might as well have a good time. _

_Throughout the course of the evening Angela met more people than she could remember. Her head felt a little fuzzy from the cups of beer that she had been downing, but it wasn't anything she hadn't experienced before. Her social life had branched out vastly in her last year of high school. This wasn't the first party she had attended, but it was by far the most entertaining to date. Residue played an impromptu acoustic set in the kitchen, two different random guys had decided that streaking was a good idea, one fight had broke out, and now there was a giant dance party erupting in the living room. Angela and Rayanne jumped and twirled and weaved through the mass of bodies ebbing and flowing to whatever music was pumping out of the speakers. Angela caught Jordan's eye for the umpteenth time that evening. She had decided that following him around and trying to get him to pay attention to her wasn't going to work out in her favor, instead every time she caught him looking at her, Angela flashed Jordan the most flirtation smirk she could and then promptly directed her attention elsewhere. As the crowd started to thin out Rayanne draped herself across an empty reclining chair in the living room. Angela perched on the arm of the chair and ran her fingers through Rayanne's hair. Although she hadn't been able to spend time with Jordan like she originally wanted to, Angela had really enjoyed herself tonight. She sat thinking about all of the small and wonderful instances that had occurred throughout the night as the grandfather clock chimed an announcement that it was already three in the morning. Angela pushed herself off the arm of the chair, she kissed Rayanne on the top of the head and began to make her way towards the front door. She surveyed the remaining partiers looking for Jordan so she could say goodbye. Her heart sank a little when she noticed that he was nowhere to be seen and she assumed that he had already left without bothering to say goodbye to her. With her hand on the door handle, Angela caught the scent of a freshly lit cigarette, and when she pushed the door open her eyes fell on a familiar pair of shoulders with smoke rising in front of him. _

"_I thought you left without saying goodbye." Angela stepped around Jordan and took a seat on the steps at his feet. _

"_Nah. The air in the house was getting, like stale or something. Like everyone had used it all up because we were breathing too much. I had to come outside to get some fresh air." Jordan stubbed his cigarette out on the concrete and sat down next to Angela. "I can't believe your mom let you stay out this late. Did you, like, tell her you were crashing at Rayanne's or what?"_

"_No. My family is out of town right now. I'm as free as a bird until they return." The way Jordan was looking at her caused Angela's face to flush. She averted her eyes and tried to think of how she was supposed to go about saying goodbye to the one person she wanted to spend every day looking at. The irony was killing her. "It's pretty late… like three o'clock I think. I guess I should be getting home. Well, good luck in New York Jor-"_

"_How are you getting home?" Jordan couldn't believe how fast the night had gone. Every time he saw her on the opposite side of the room he told himself to go over to her, and talk to her, be near her, do something. He knew he would be leaving in a few hours, but every time he moved closer to her someone had come up and wanted to talk about what he was going to be doing in New York. Jordan mentally cursed everyone who had managed to distract him throughout the evening. He was going to push to keep this conversation going as long as he could, he didn't want to think about how it would feel say goodbye to her tonight for what might end up being forever. _

"_Well, I'm the only seventeen year old in Pennsylvania without a car… so I will be walking back." _

"_What? Are you kidding me. No way. You're not walking home by yourself. I'll drive you."_

"_Jordan. You've been drinking all night. There's no way I'd ever get in the car with you."_

"_Oh yeah. Well, actually… I didn't drive here either. I sort of like, forgot. I walked. I had to put my car in storage because we aren't taking it with us to New York." Angela could hear the regret in his voice. She put her hand on his knee to convey her sympathy. _

"_I'm sorry Jordan. I know how much you love that car." They sat at stared at each other for what felt like decades. Eventually Jordan could feel himself getting short of breath with Angela's eyes boring into the depths of his sole and her hand still resting on his knee. _

"_Yeah. But you know. Whatever happens, happens; right? So hey, I don't think it's a good idea for you to walk home alone, especially this late. It's kind of a long walk and since your family isn't home no one would know if you made it safely or not." He stopped and looked up from the concrete that he had been examining during the first half of his statement. "Would it be okay if I walked you home or something?"_

"_I'd like that."_

_The houses that lined the route back to Angela's house were now dark and quiet. The air was cool and calm, allowing them to hear the buzzing of the overhanging street lights when their conversation lulled. The couple had exhausted every imaginable small talk topic. Angela and Jordan were both carefully tiptoeing around the thing that they were dreading bring up – the fact that they would soon be moving on with their lives in very separate directions. _

_Jordan tilted his head slightly to the left, he hadn't been able to keep his eyes off of Angela the entire night. Now with her walking next to him he had to find a way to observer her with some sort of discretion. He noticed her shiver slightly, and without saying anything he took off his corduroy jacket and put it over her shoulders. Such a simple gesture, but it warmed Angela's entire being completely. _

"_So, ummm, I like you're bag." He felt like such an idiot. He wanted to tell her that even though they hadn't been able to spend much time together that summer, he was going to miss her. But instead he said he liked her bag, so dumb. _

"_Oh. Thanks. It was my final project in that new Lifeskills class they started at Liberty last year. It was just a glorified home-economics class. We learned how to cook and sew. I took it to avoid an extra period of math or biology." Angela took her bag off her should and ran her thumb across one of the misguided seems. She had spent three weeks searching all of the craft stores in the area for a floral textile that she really loved. It had bold red blossoms on it, with more subtle yellow and blue flowers. The dark green vines that ran throughout the fabric made gave the bag a slightly quirky feel. She was quite happy with her choice. More than one person had complimented her on the bag, telling her that it 'looked like her'… whatever that meant. "I figured out a way to sew a secret pocket into the interior. If the zipper is tucked in right, you can't even tell it's there. See –"_

_Angela stopped underneath the nearest street light on the corner of her block. She could see her house just a few yards away, she was trying to think of any way to make her time with Jordan last a little longer. Holding the bag open she moved aside the interior fabric and pulled down the secret zipper. Jordan was impressed. You really couldn't even tell there was anything was sewn there at all, he hadn't realized Angela was so creative. Once the pocket was open a small piece of plastic fell out into the larger interior of the bag. Jordan recognized it immediately. It was his favorite Kelly green guitar pick that he thought he had misplaced at the battle of the bands in Pittsburg. He knew instantly that she must have found it near his gear and picked it up knowing that he had brought others. He had looked for around the stage before leaving for a good half an hour and when he hadn't found it, Jordan considered it a lost cause. _

"_Hah. So that's where that pick went to." Jordan laughed to himself as they walked up the side walk leading to her front porch. She had kept something small that belonged to him for three months, maybe he wasn't wrong to hope that she cared about him still. At least enough to garner him a farewell kiss before set off for his new life in New York. He stopped on the bottom step and watched Angela scale the handful of stairs in front of him. Once she unlocked the door, she turned and smiled at him warmly._

"_You want to come in for a bit? That way you can warm up before you head home." Before Angela knew it, Jordan was following her into her house, closing the front door quietly behind them. She felt her way along the dark hallway and flicked the kitchen light on. Walking over to the refrigerator, she swung open the door a peered inside. Angela was trying not to focus on almost magnetic pull she was feeling towards Jordan right now. She would not shamelessly throw herself at him in attempt to connect once more before he left. If he wanted her he was going to have to figure out a way to let her know. Thankfully that was one type of communication that Jordan had never struggled with. He had intuitively taken Angela's invitation into the house to mean more than what her words had said. Once they were in the kitchen he could tell that she was avoiding his gaze. When she deliberately walked over to the fridge and started to examine its contents, Jordan knew this was his brief window to show her how much he still burned for her. _

_Jordan walked up so close behind her that Angela could feel his body heat emanating towards her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and slowly ran them down her arms, allowing them to finally rest softly on her hips. Angela relaxed completely, feeling Jordan's touch seemed so natural that she couldn't imagine how she'd functioned for the last few years without it. He brushed her auburn hair off her shoulders and nuzzled the side of her neck just below her ear. Angela slowly closed the refrigerator door and turned around to face the reality of what was behind her. When she looked up, they locked eyes for what felt like eternity. Their intense focus saying everything that their mouths couldn't produce on the walk home. Eventually the tension was too much to bear; Angela shut her eyes and the moment she did she felt Jordan's mouth against hers. The kiss was soft, but eager. When she reciprocated his affections the kisses between them became hungrier and more intense. Jordan's mouth left hers and blazed a path down her neck to her collar bone. The slight moan she made, combined with pressing her hips into his, made Jordan stop briefly. He raised his hand to caress her cheek. He traced the outer edge of bottom lip with his thumb and then taking her face with both hands he kissed her with all of the intensity and yearning he had felt for her throughout the summer and their years apart. Angela was all consumed by the kiss and the sensation of Jordan's hands anywhere and everywhere on her body. Once they left her face he ran his hands along her sides, eventually coming to rest on her ass. He pulled her closer her too him, so she could not mistake the pulsing desire he felt for her. _

_Jordan backed Angela up in the direction of the nearest set of cabinets and lifted her effortlessly on to the counter top. She didn't dare allow her mouth to leave his in fear that this perfect moment might come to a screeching halt if either of them stopped to think of where it might lead them. Instead Angela wrapped her legs around Jordan's waist pulling him as close as she possibly could. They continued to battle each other for dominance by means of their lips, tongues and fingers. Angela traced the edge of Jordan's jaw line with her tongue and punctuated the motion by sucking slightly on his earlobe and nipping at it briefly. This was not the same girl that Jordan had brought to the boiler room a few years ago. He could tell that whatever passion she had been holding back him during high school was finally ready to be set free. _

_Angela ran her hands up under the back of Jordan's shirt. She could feel the moist beads of sweat on his lower back just above the top of his jeans. She felt satisfied with herself that she had managed to make Jordan Catalano hot enough that his body was physically responding in full. As Jordan felt her cool hands run along his back, his fingers began to fumble with the buttons on her flannel shirt. The anticipation of getting Angela's shirt unbuttoned combined with her finger tips burning across the waste line of his pants was making his heart beat increase rapidly. Once he had freed the last button. Jordan leaned back slightly to take in the view positioned in front of him. Her skin was porcelain and seemed to glow warmly in the soft kitchen light. She had worn her favorite lavender lace bra, and the selection did not disappoint. Jordan's eyes were the first to fall upon Angela's nearly naked skin. She felt herself flush as she watched him observing her. As he leaned into kiss her again, his hand cupped her small breast. Angela's breath hitched slightly and she smiled against Jordan's mouth. _

"_Do you want to go upstairs?" The words were barely audible as the left her lips. When Jordan met her eyes again, the burning lust contained within them was undeniable. This was far more than he had ever hoped for when he had offered to walk her home. A simple kiss goodbye was all he had wanted, but the opportunity before him seemed like a dream and he had no intention of directing himself back into rational consciousness anytime soon. The two left the kitchen and made their way up the stairs to Angela's bedroom. The trip had been momentarily interrupted when Jordan couldn't fight the urge any longer and pressed Angela against the wall in the stair well and had kissed her so deeply that she felt her knees weaken. _

_Once they had crossed the threshold of her bedroom, Jordan picked Angela up and quickly deposited her upon the unmade bed. They quickly removed each other's shirts in tandem, and were lost to one another in the shared feeling of caressing bare skin. Jordan eliminated the barrier of Angela's bra and showered her chest with limitless devotion. He had lost himself in the process and was only brought back to them moment by the undeniable movements of Angela's hips below him. He kissed up her neck and eventually met her mouth again. Angela's kisses were progressively becoming more eager and demanding, but she stopped abruptly and pushed Jordan off her slightly. _

"_I'm sorry Ang. I don't know what came over me. I've haven't been able to think of anything but putting my mouth on you since you showed up at Tino's. I didn't mean to push you into anything… if you want me to leave, I understand." Jordan rolled over dejectedly and rubbed his face with his hands. He had been so stupid to rush this and had now clearly scared her off again. _

_As he was laying there regretting the urgency that had uncontrollably swept over him, Jordan felt Angela's hand rub across his torso and then descend deliberately so that it grazed the aching bulge in his pants. His breath caught in his throat as he felt Angela's breath whisper across his ear._

"_Jordan, I don't want you to stop. I want you so bad that I feel like it might devour me. I just wanted to pause for a second to tell you how much I still care about you and how hard it is going to be knowing that you'll be gone after tomorrow. But I want this, whatever happens tonight, well... happens. I want it to happen with you." The words had barely left Angela's mouth before Jordan's lips were back upon it. He could not have been more surprised or elated by what she had just said. _

_Their bodies continued to move in complete harmony until they both reached a peak of all consuming satisfaction within the creeping hours of the dawn. Eventually they found rest, submitting to sleep, with their limbs still entangled. _

_The sunlight broke through the sheer drapes. It warmed Jordan's face and tugged him awake. He opened his eyes drowsily, having only slept for a few hours. He turned slightly and found Angela lying on her side next to him. He gently and slowly ran his hand along the curves as her body. He didn't want to wake her, but couldn't not resist the urge feel her shape again. Jordan hoped that this one was one sense memory that would never fade. Her hair was cascaded smoothly against the pillow, as he ran his hands along her hips, he settled his self along her back. He wanted nothing more than to stay there and savor the warmth of her pressed up against him. But the harsh red glare of the alarm clock beside the bed was telling him that it was almost 8:30 A.M. He had agreed with the rest of the guys that they had to leave town by 10 A.M. in order to make good time on their departure. Angela moaned softly and nestled into whatever remaining space there was between her and Jordan. She leaned back and awoke to be greeted by the cool blue light shining with admiration from Jordan's eyes. _

"_Hey." He said huskily, reaching over to kiss her forehead. _

"_Hey yourself." Angela placed her hand on Jordan's chest and draped her leg over his. Jordan knew that if he didn't break the connection of their naked skin soon, he wouldn't be able to resist her and would never be able to leave that bed._

"_I'm leaving for New York this morning." The words sounded flat as the spilled out of his mouth. The reality of the statement made Angela's stomach turn. They both rolled over to face each other and stayed there not saying a word for a long time. Angela was the first to speak after what seemed like hours of their tireless gazes._

"_Do you want some coffee?" She rolled over quickly, grabbing whatever clothes were within arm's reach, and scurried out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen, so that Jordan wouldn't see the tears beginning to form in her eyes. He forced himself to sit up and search for his own garments. As he went to leave her bedroom and follow her down stairs, Jordan turned around in the doorway to take one last look at the bed with the sheets all in disarray as images of the previous night flashed through his mind. He sighed deeply and continued down to the kitchen. Angela brewed some coffee for the two of them and walked out on to the front porch to give Jordan some privacy when he called Shane. She heard him give his friend directions to her house and say that he would see him in a few minutes. _

_Jordan walked out on to the porch carrying too mugs of fresh coffee, three spoonfuls of sugar in each._

"_This really…blows." He said as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Couldn't you come to New York? You could be our merch girl or something." The idea was ridiculous, but thinking about leaving her now after last night cut Jordan deeply._

"_That's not really an option." Angela said fighting back the tears that were brimming in her eyes. She backed out of Jordan's embrace and sat down on the top step. He stepped forward and sat down next to her, setting his mug on the floorboard of the porch. _

"_I'm not really good with goodbyes or whatever… but here. Take his." His fingers worked at the back of his neck to undo the knot on the single, thin piece of leather which he had worn around his neck every day since before he had met Angela. He pressed it into her hand and closed her fingers around it. "Something to remember me by, I guess."_

_The tears began to flood cheeks as she buried her face into the front of Jordan's shirt. He held up her chin and kissed their wet trails. Jordan wrapped his arms around Angela and held her until the van containing Shane, Eli, Chandler, and everything they owned between them pulled up in front of her house. Jordan stood up and pulled Angela up behind him. He kissed her softly and pushed her fiery hair behind her ears._

"_This isn't goodbye. It's until next time… because I don't think I could leave knowing that I won't be able to see you again." He pressed his lips to hers once more for a lingering kiss, and before he turned to walk away she whispered a pained thank you and farewell into ear. _

_Shane jumped out of the side door and patted his good friend on the back. They exchanged a look that said what words didn't have to; Shane nodded solemnly at Angela before reentering the van. As Jordan climbed into the back seat, Angela collapsed back on to the top step. She wrapped her arms around her knees and curled into herself. She sat perfectly still and held Jordan's gaze through the back window of the van until they turned the corner and he was ripped from her sight. _

Present day:

Sharon got up off the couch and indented on following Shane, if only to have a discussion with him about having some sympathy for his friend. Angela had told her how long she hurt she was when Jordan left the morning after they had slept together. If he felt even a fraction of the loss Angela felt, Sharon new Jordan must has suffered silently for a long time. She couldn't imagine a car ride with the guys discussing Jordan's feelings the whole way to New York. Before passing by the table she paused at the kitchen counter and searched for a scrap piece of paper. She turned and walked up to the table, standing still until Jordan noticed her.

"Here." She said laying the paper on the table in front of him. "It's not her home address, but it's somewhere that you can reach her. Maybe you should give letter composing another shot. And if I find out that you called Krakow for some more pointers, I'll strangle you myself."

Jordan sat completely still staring at the street address written on the tiny scrap in front of him. He picked it up and ran his thumb across the letters. This was his chance to articulate he felt for her. He knew he could express himself through written language; the bands multiple radio hits had proven that. Sharon had walked away after giving him the piece of paper, when he looked up he could see her form half way down the bus hallway.

"Sharon…" he called in the strongest voice he'd been able to muster since leaving Chicago, "Thank you." Jordan rummaged through his bag and found the beaten up journal he had carried with him on every tour. He started scribbling his feelings furtively on to the lined pages.


	8. Chapter 8

**I do no own these characters... but I am certainly enjoying guiding them along these assorted paths beyond the series. I decided to spend some time and focus on characters other than Jordan and Angela; trying to say true to the nature of the original plot lines. Plus I wanted this chapter to be a bit of a bridge between the first and second part of my story. Hope you enjoy it!**

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><p>The alarm chirped shrilly like a sick, sadistic cricket on the bedside table. As Danielle reached to quiet it, she cringed at the realization that she was already sweating. The temperature spike in June was murder, especially since her wall AC unit had taken a dump at the end of last summer and she had yet to have it repaired. She had a tendency to let things like that fall by the wayside.

"Ugh babe - move over. It is too hot to be this close right now," Danielle said sleepily as she gently nudged Brian's shoulders away from her. She felt his slick skin and wondered why they hadn't just stayed at his place which was temperature regulated.

"Tell me again why we stayed here last night? It's like four thousand degrees in your apartment." Brian moved over hoping to find a bit of relief in a cooler spot on the sheets. At this mention, a something struck Danielle and broke her out of her early morning daze.

"Shit! We stayed here because I picked up an extra shift running the line at the restaurant this morning. They're doing some special breakfast thing for a charity event. I'm supposed to be there in fifteen minutes." Danielle scrambled from out of the sheets and snatched her jeans off the floor. She got strung up in her t-shirt, with her arm through the neck hole, and nearly backed over her vanity chair. The Chase women had never been blessed with much natural grace.

"Careful Dani. You're going to fall onto something and leave the apartment with a black eye. Do you want me to drop you off at the restaurant? I have to head over to the Gold Coast this morning anyway." Brian swung his legs out of the bed and stretched. Danielle paused briefly to enjoy the sight of the muscles strewn across his back and shoulders contracting. When Brian caught her watching him he responded with a contented smirk. "Is it completely necessary for you to be at the restaurant today? You're awfully adorable when you're running around this room like a Tasmanian Devil. I could think of a few more entertaining options to occupy ourselves with this morning."

Brian had crossed the bedroom floor over to where Danielle was standing in front of her vanity trying to pull her hair up into some sort of up-do appropriate for work. Brian stepped behind her and ran his hands across her stomach, pulling her back against him.

"Not now Krakow! If I make a good impression with this breakfast today things might start looking better for me at the restaurant." She turned and kissed him quickly on the cheek before dashing out the bedroom door. "Let's go!"

Thankfully the traffic was on the lighter side and they reached the restaurant in a timely fashion. Brian pulled up to the curb, throwing the transmission into park. Danielle let out a groan as she laid eyes on the front door, not at all looking forward to the stressful day which lay before her.

"This place is feeding off your soul Dee. Maybe it's time you look for a position at a different restaurant? Or take over for your dad… didn't you mention that he was thinking about selling his place?" Brian knew that throwing this out there this would only rub Danielle the wrong way, but he hated seeing her in such a gloomy mood every day after she got off work. He didn't doubt her love of cooking and trying new things of the edible variety, but the place she was working now was a scheduling nightmare and never allowed her any freedom to expand her culinary horizons.

"I don't want to talk about this right now. Why don't you open up a practice with your parents, if you're so set on someone starting a family business? And I guess you forgot my father lives in Pennsylvania; I however, live in Illinois. I thought you were better with geography than that Krakow. I'll call you later." Danielle had shut the door behind her without giving Brian a chance to say goodbye.

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><p>The morning was hot, a sad inclination of what the day ahead had in store. The circulating breeze from her ceiling fan offered no relief. Angela was dreading leaving the soft sheets of her bed and could already feel beads of perspiration forming along her brow. She had gotten back from Chicago two days earlier than she had intended so there was no need to rush to get ready for work. Angela had been lying in bed for the last thirty minutes tracing the cracks in the ceiling.<p>

When she had boarded the train to bring her back to Michigan, she was hit with an undeniable feeling that a chapter of her life had just ended. Angela had walked away from Jordan Catalano, and there was no logical reason to assume she would ever lay eyes on him again. Over the course of last day she thought about what this meant. Despite the fact that they lived separate lives, throughout the last few years Angela had been holding on to the hope that when they met again things would fall into place. She now recognized that hope as a naïve fantasy. In time the way her heart ached for him would fade, and Jordan Catalano would be nothing but memory, or at least she that was what she kept telling herself. As if conducted by fate, Angela turned on her clock radio and was greeted by the nostalgic notes of the Violent Femmes. She was instantly transported back to the last time she had tried to erase Jordan Catalano from her life. Dancing around her room to _Blister in the Sun_ had been some sort of catharsis for her back then, and it sure as hell couldn't hurt now. She jumped from her bed and shuffled around her room shouting along to all of the lyrics.

When I'm out walkin', I strut my stuff - yeah, I'm so strung out  
>I'm high as a kite; I just might stop to check you out<br>Let me go on... like I blister in the sun  
>Let me go on... big hands, I know you're the one<p>

Body and beats, I stain my sheets - I don't even know why  
>My girlfriend, she's at the end - she is starting to cry<br>Let me go on... like I blister in the sun  
>Let me go on... big hands, I know you're the one<p>

By the instrumental pause Angela had worked up a full sweat. It was as though through her spastic and frantic body movements, that she was physically ripping herself from the realm of Jordan Catalano. In the back of her mind she knew she would still have to see his face peppered about in the media, but as of this day she was determined to no longer feel a connection. From this morning forward she no longer wanted to live with the constant tether of _what if's_ holding her back. As the chorus of the song repeated and diminished, Angela stilled her movements and focused on the woman staring back at her in the large antique mirror her grandmother had given her. She saw the pain and love from years past echoing back through her own eyes. In the next moment she blinked the past away, picked up her telephone receiver, and dialed the number to the flower shop.

"Hey Char. Yeah, I got back a little early. Actually I was calling to let you know that you can give my number to your friend Reggie." Charlotte immediately asked what had brought on the change of heart about the blind date she had suggested for Angela weeks ago. "It's not important. I just think I should branch out and meet some new people. I trust that you'd have at fairly decent grip on the type of guy I'd want to be with. Tell him I'm free tonight if he wants to get together. Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

Angela hung up the phone and smiled at herself in the mirror.

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><p>Shane lumbered into the kitchen area of the tour bus. The early afternoon sun was streaming in through all of the surrounding windows and the bus tires hummed softly below his feet. They had played another handful of shows, making their way through New York, Vermont, &amp; New Hampshire. Sharon was sticking around for the next show in Portland, Maine, but would be headed back to her routine life after that. Shane had left her sleeping peacefully in their shared bunk at the back of the bus. Inviting her on tour with him had been a bit of an accident. The request came up like word vomit the night Residue had played in Chicago. It happened in the dark silence of Shane's hotel room their while limbs were woven together and Sharon was raking her teeth across his chest. Out of the blue he had asked her to come with him, surprising both her and himself. Sharon had sat up into a kneeling position and studied his face carefully, before asking if he was serious. And after a moment's thought, Shane realized that he did want her around and not just for the sake of more promised moments like the one they had been sharing right then. Having her with him proved to be more of a comfort than he could have ever expected. Finding her smiling face backstage each night gave him a fuzzy feeling inside, but that wasn't something he was about to admit out loud.<p>

On his next step, Shane's foot crushed something that crumpled and made a dry crinkling sound. He had stepped on one of the many paper landmines that were littering the floor of the kitchen and living area of the tour bus. As Shane rubbed the remnant clouds of sleep from his eyes, he saw Jordan hunched over the table – a clear culprit for the wads of paper since he had his notebook spread open in front of him and was rhythmically tapping his pen on the laminate tabletop.

"You realize you're going to be picking all of these up right? Chandler is going to shit when he sees it." Shane laughed as he slid into the bench across from his best friend. "So what's up? Penning our next radio smash hit?"

"No. I umm… well, I'm trying to write a letter to…" Jordan's voice dropped off so quickly that Shane hadn't heard who the recipient of the letter would be. However, he didn't need Jordan to say it to know that the letter was bound for Angela Chase. He remembered the letter fiasco and the fallout that had ensued when they were in high school. He wasn't sure if his friend was trying to redeem himself, or if he was just masochistic enough to lay his heart on paper for that girl again.

"Yeah? Because that worked out really well for you the first time if I remember correctly." Shane pushed himself away from the table and started rummaging through the kitchen cupboards for something that could pass as a breakfast food even though the day had rolled well into the afternoon.

"Look man, it was your girl's idea. And I think it's smart. I get all tongue tied around Angela, obviously. I couldn't say of the things I've been rehearsing in my head when I saw her in Chicago. It's like when I look at her there are a thousand thoughts fighting to get out of my mouth and it all just ends up causing a serious brain blockage." Jordan was in no mood to explain himself, but he needed Shane to understand and accept that this, that _she_, was important to him. Shane stopped his cabinet search and looked at his friend. Jordan's eyes were bloodshot and his skin had a pathetic grayish pallor. He was wearing the same clothes that he had been wearing the day before. There were rings from coffee mug encircling the area on the table where he had been writing.

"You've been up all night haven't you? Give it a rest man. If this is something that is really important to you, the words will come. Do not force it. Remember that weak track we put on the second album because the record company decided last minute that they wanted a round number of songs, so you hammered one out like ten minutes?" Shane shook his head thinking about the absurdity of that situation. They had all instantly regretted the filler track and had spent the rest of their career trying to forget they had attached Residue's name to it. "You need to get some sleep. We've got six hours until we perform tonight in Portland. The fans aren't going to appreciate a zombie version of you up on the stage. Plus I'm sure your confessions of love will be far more articulate and astounding once your brain is refreshed"

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I just feel like I have to finish this. What if I wait too long and she decides to move on from me completely? It's pretty much a miracle that she still gave a damn up until this point." Jordan set his pen down on the table and leaned backwards to stretch out his lower back. He rubbed his eyes and realized that he did indeed have to submit to the pressures of sleep if he wanted to be able to function at all later that evening. "A couple weeks ago I don't think you would have understood me having to do this. Apparently having the same girl around for more than one night is opening your eyes to the wonders of the heart. Hah. But I still can't believe it's Sharon fucking Cherski. Opposites attract, or something, though right?"

"Yeah man. On paper it doesn't make much sense, but there is definitely something about this girl. I mean she used to get me all strung up in high school, but now that we're older things are just so much more intense… I don't know how to explain it." He didn't really have to do much explaining because Jordan recognized that feeling.

"Wait - high school? I thought you and Cherski were a recent development. I didn't think you even knew who she was when we were in school." Jordan gave his friend a confused and curious look. Shane hadn't ever told Jordan about the time he spent with Sharon because he figured he throw a fit on account of her being one of Angela's best friends. It was a situation he kept under wraps until after they graduated and then once Residue started touring they had only been able to meet up a few times a year so Shane didn't think it merited mentioning, until now.

"Nah man, we kind of have a history. I just never really brought it up because I wasn't sure how you'd react. It wasn't anything real serious. We normally just hook up when we're in the same city, but I thought maybe we'd try something different this time around."

"Hah. It still kind of blows my mind. I know Angela and I were a farfetched couple, but you and Cherski? Out of this world, man. How did it even get started?" Jordan had been wondering about this since he had saw them together the night of the show in Chicago. Knowing Shane, he was sure it would be a good story so he was willing to delay his sleep a little further.

"Well, remember when I got caught burning down under the bleachers during our junior year? And I had to work that teen help line thing for like community service or whatever…"

_March 1995_

_Shane thought it was stupid that he had to spend the next five hour sitting on the phone listening to other kid's bitch about their shitty lives. His wasn't so great either. Obviously. He had just spent the last week at his grandma's house after being busted by one of the teachers for blazing on school grounds. They had suspended him and his mom wouldn't allow him to be at home by himself. As if watching re-runs of Matlock hadn't been punishment enough, the principle had demanded that he log hours working for the school's teen help line. It was his first day, and he was not looking forward it in the least._

_The area that they had set aside for the phone moderators on the teen line wasn't even an office. It was a section of the guidance office that they had partitioned off, thrown in a desk and a telephone and called it good. Because of this, people could check on him so he couldn't slack off. He was sitting slumped down in an old creaky computer chair, when he heard an obnoxiously bubbly voice talking to one of the councilors on the other side of the partition. _

"_Thanks Mrs. Brimble. No, I'm more than happy to keep helping out with the teen line. I know it's important for kids to have someone to talk to." Sharon stopped dead in her tracks when she rounded the partition and saw Shane with his feet propped up on the desk. The phone was ringing next to his feet, but he made no advance to answer it. Instead Sharon grabbed it and spent the next five minutes talking to some girl about boy troubles. Shane rolled his eyes… it was going to be a long night. After she hung up the phone Sharon put her hands on her hips and looked at him suspiciously._

"_What do you think you're doing Jones? This is a workspace for the teen help line, not some cubby for you to take a nap in." Sharon recognized him as one of Jordan Catalano's worthless friends. She couldn't begin to imagine what he was doing after school in the guidance counselor's office. _

"_I have to be here for the next few days… it's a mandatory punishment from the principle. But you can answer the phone; I'll just sit here and look pretty." Shane flashed her a cocky smile. The girl looked familiar, but he couldn't place her name. _

"_Oh no. If you're here - you're working. Next call is all you bucko." When Sharon sat down on the chair across from him she could feel his gaze running up her bare legs and stopping at the hemline of her skirt. She wasn't sure if she was irritated or slightly flattered with his blatant staring. Being careful not to make eye contact with him, she sat up a little straighter in her chair, pulled her shoulders back and pushed her chest out slightly. _

"_Where do I know you from? Do we have history together? What's your name?" If Shane was going to be stuck in this office until 9 o'clock everyday for the rest of the week, he was glad that at least had something nice to look at. He figured he might as well make the most of it. _

"_No. I'm in honor's history, which there is no way you would ever be scheduled in. Do you even bother to go to any of your classes?" Sharon turned up the dial on her snobbish tone. She could tell he was going to make a pass at her, and she wanted to see him squirm a bit. "My name is Sharon Cherski. I'm friends with Angela Chase. Maybe that's why you think you know me."_

"_Oh yeah. You were at that Buffalo Tom show at Pike Street a couple months ago, weren't you?" He remembered seeing those legs chase after Angela after Jordan had blown her off. "You run around with that dumb football player, right? Kyle Whatshisface." _

"_Actually we broke up last month. Not that it's any of your business." Sharon stood up and started organizing the papers that were filed on the desk next to phone. She felt like she needed to be doing something instead of just sitting there letting him run his eyes up and down her body._

"_Aww. That's too bad. You looking for someone to comfort you?" Shane was leaned back in the chair so far now that only two of its legs were still touching the floor. He was smiling deviously at her. _

"_Yeah right. Not on your life Jones. Now, stop bothering me unless it has something to do help line." She took a seat at the desk and turned her back to him. As the hours ticked on, the faculty working in the counselor's office left to go home. By the time 8:30 P.M. rolled around the only light still left on in the entire room was the one closest to Shane and Sharon. They were the only ones left in the school besides custodial staff. There had been five phone calls that day. Three were girls who just wanted someone new to complain to about their boyfriend's since they had already worn out the patience of their friends, one was a boy who thought his friends were pressuring him to try drugs, and the last was another boy who wanted to ask out a girl in one of his classes. Sharon dealt with the three girls and assuming why Shane was forced into volunteering for the helpline, she figured it best that she talk to the boy dealing with peer pressure. She did, however, hand over the phone on the last call. Sharon watched as Shane gave the young boy advice on how to strike up a conversation with the girl he was interested in. Shane Jones might have been lacking in a few areas of his personality, but confidence was not one of them. He knew that Sharon was watching him and listening carefully to what he was telling the kid. He gave him the best advice he could, and was quite satisfied with the help he had provided once the call ended. After hanging up the receiver he looked at the clock. _

"_It's almost time for us to get out of here. I'm going to grab a soda from the vending machine, do you want something?" Shane asked as he reclined back into his chair again. Sharon had stood up to stretch her legs and instead of taking her seat in the same chair she hopped up on the desk between them. _

"_No, I'm fine thank you." After listening to him on the phone with that kid, Sharon had started to wonder if maybe she had been wrong to judge him so quickly. They came from different worlds, but maybe he wasn't as much of a low life as he came across as being. She caught his eye as he stood up from his chair and went to make his way into the hall. Sharon couldn't help but think about all of the times she had heard his name come up in girl's bathroom gossip. Anytime he was mentioned, the girl who was telling the story had remarked on him favorably and commended his… skills. Since the desk was taking up most of the space in their corner of the office, __Shane __was going to have to squeeze between Sharon seated on the desk and the door frame before he could exit. As he went to walk by, he thought he saw a flirtatious smirk break across her face. He stopped dead in front of her and met her eyes once more. _

"_Okay. I'll be right back." Shane said without really having any intention of leaving the room. He slowly and delicately ran his fingers across the bare skin of her thigh just before the hem of her skirt. The sensation of contact made a shiver run down Sharon's spine. She inhaled deeply, and without thinking pushed her face forward to meet his lips. Her sudden attack caught him off guard slightly, but within seconds Shane was sliding his tongue into Sharon's mouth and sucking on her lower lip. They spent the remaining time of their shift making out on the cold metal desk. Sharon was finally able to separate her mouth from Shane's long enough to look at the clock behind him._

"_Oh. It's after 9. The teen line is shut off; we don't have to be here any longer." She stood up and straightened out her skirt. Shane stepped back and smiled at her. Her lips were swollen from having been connected to his for the last thirty minutes and her hair was all tangled from him weaving his fingers through it. When she grabbed her backpack and went to walk out the door past him, he blocked her exit, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her once more deeply. Sharon let out a small sigh after their lips had parted again._

"_So, tomorrow – same place, same time?" Shane said as he turned and slid out of the counselor's office and down the hall in the opposite direction. _

Present day:

"Hah. We fooled around in that office for a week straight. It worked out quite nicely once the teachers had left us alone. They all assumed that Cherski was a nice, sweet, little lady. They never realized she had quite a wild side to her." Shane had walked over and sat down in one of the small chairs in the seating area of the bus, leaning back with his hands behind his head.

"Shane. You sly dog, you. I can't believe you never blabbed about this conquest while we were in school. Cherski was on every guy's to do list. She had the best rack in Liberty High!" Jordan laughed at his friend. Even after knowing each other for so many years he could still surprise him. Despite having his mood lifted, the weight of exhaustion was starting to wash over Jordan. "Okay man. I'm going to go crash for a few hours. Wake me up when it's time to run sound check." He nestled into his bunk and let sleep take him.

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><p><strong>Any thoughts or suggestions on this chapter please let me know. As always thanks for reading! - K<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**I don't own MCSL  
><strong>

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><p>The marble tiled floor and vaulted ceilings did little to discourage the growing buzz of merged conversations around her. The cloud of commotion was making it all too easy for Angela to distance herself from the story that Stephen was recounting. If this was only their first meal together and she already found her mind drifting away from what he was saying, clearly that a bad sign. With all gathered efforts she resumed her focus and visually contemplated the man seated across the table from her. He had short light brown hair, deep set brown eyes, and a safe smile. His suit coat, however, was wearing him; it was at least two sizes too big and looked to be obnoxiously expensive.<p>

The restaurant Stephen chose all show and no substance. Their menu claimed to be Stylized American Cuisine, which was apparently a fancy way to say _over priced, tiny meals you could have just made at home_. Stephen assured her that this place was well deserving of all the complimentary reviews it had received and stressed that he had to pull quite a few strings to get them a reservation that evening. Angela, however, was not impressed with her food or her company. His mouth moved, but the words that flowed from it were of no interest to her. He had spent the half hour talking to her about the ins and outs of his job at an advertising firm. She got the impression that she was not the first lady he had attempted woo via the dramatic tale of his first big promotion.

"I'm sorry. Want did you say? It's really quite noisy in here." Angela leaned forward in the hope that it would hide the fact that she had not been paying him any attention for at least the last five minutes. She had faded in and out of his story about how his idea for a slogan for a laundry detergent had landed his firm a major account. Angela couldn't recall any moment throughout the entire evening that Stephen had inquired anything about her, or her job or her interests. Tonight had turned into the Stephen Show Marathon without her being forewarned. She was going to have to remember to pay Charlotte back for setting her up on a date with such a gem.

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><p>The crowd at Portland National Jetport had thinned in the hour that they had been sitting in the waiting area, passing the time until Sharon's flight boarded. Shane sat slouched next to her, wearing his trademark dark sunglasses and ratty grey hoodie. The incognito look was a bit over played and no one seemed to be taking much interest in them anyway. Sharon knew that the utopian situation of being on tour with Shane was going to end eventually and that she would have to crash land back into her everyday life, but that didn't mean that she had to be happy about it. She sat stoically hoping that Shane would uncharacteristically make a testament of love and beg her to stay on for a few more weeks. Yet, a deafening silence hung over them.<p>

"So… How many more weeks are you guys going to be on the east coast?" She knew that Residue had scheduled nights scattered down the eastern seaboard of the United States and then back through the interior states butting up to the Mississippi River. Sharon had hoped that the end of this leg of the tour would direct Shane and the rest of his band mates back towards the mid-west before heading to the West Coast to finish off their North American tour.

"Uh.. I don't know… about another month or so I think. Then we're taking a week off before tackling the western states. We should end up in Los Angeles sometime in September." Shane picked at his callous fingers as he spoke. Directed at no one and spoken just above a whisper he said, "I'm starting to feel exhausted just thinking about it."

The speaker above their heads screeched: _FLIGHT 385 FOR O'HARE AIRPORT WILL BE BOARDING IN TERMINAL F IN 15 MINUTES. ALL PASSENGERS FOR THIS FLIGHT PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE BOARDING AREA._

After the announcement finished, Sharon leaned over to grab her bag. _So this is it. I guess I had been fooling myself thinking that this trip was more than just keeping him company on that damn bus. I'm not going to make a fool out of myself by laying my feelings on the line if he is just focused on getting to the next city and picking up some different girl for the next few weeks. _She stood and turned to face Shane who was still seated in the row of chairs behind her. He had taken his sun glasses off and was bent forward, holding his face in his hands.

"That's me." Sharon nodded up at the speaker. When his eyes met hers, she could see that they were completely bloodshot. Unbeknownst to her, Shane hadn't slept the entire night before. He hadn't been able take his eyes off of her in the dim lights of the bus cabin, knowing that she would be leaving the following morning. He watched her chest rise and fall in a slow steady rhythm as she rested comfortably nestled in his arms. As she slept, he gently traced the features of her face – her delicate cheek bones, the outer ridges of her lip, the elegant arch of her eyebrow. He knew her face would haunt him every night for the rest of the tour, and he took solace in the thought. A few times Shane had to stop himself from waking her to make an attempt at telling her how hard the rest of the tour would be without her there to support him. But he feared that he would fumble the words; instead, he had pulled her closer and begged silently for night to pass slowly.

For the past seven years Shane had been living his life day to day, taking on whatever challenges were presented as they made themselves known. The most important people in his life were his fellow band mates and seeing that when they weren't touring together, they all had apartments within walking distances of each other in New York City, he hadn't been faced with saying goodbye to anyone of any importance in a very long time.

As Sharon stated to walk towards the designated terminal, Shane jumped up to follow her. He carefully took the bag she was carrying and filled her empty hand with his. He grasped with just a little pressure to relay to her that he was still very much with her. They reached the boarding area and stood face to face for a brief moment, neither one knowing if this was an ending or just a pause in their story. Sharon stepped closer and kissed Shane softly on the cheek. He turned his face and caught her lips with his before she could pull away. He kissed her with a subdued gentle passion that left Sharon slightly breathless once their mouths had parted. Shane took her face in his hands and rested his forehead against hers, staring purposefully into her eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and murmured, "I'm not sure how to do this. I don't want to have to say good bye to you."

"Then we won't say goodbye. You just make sure that you call me as soon as you get back in my time zone," she said as coolly as she could manage. Sharon wrapped her arms around him one last time and then boarded the plane quickly so as to make sure that Shane wouldn't be able to see the pools of tears welling up in her eyes.

Sharon was exhausted by the time she stepped through the door of her apartment. She wanted to collapse on the couch, sink down into the cushions and sleep for days. However, before she allowed herself to do that she drew a glass of water from the tap and rifled through her mail that had piled up over the weeks she had been gone. Bills, party invitations, and checking account statements were all typical and very uninteresting. Yet one piece of mail did catch her attention. It was small postcard with the image of a Victorian house on it. She turned it over to see the words "I miss you already. -S" scribbled on the back in Shane's familiar chicken scratch. Without Sharon knowing it, Shane had slipped that card in the post while the tour bus had been delayed for repairs in a small town in upstate New York. He had wanted it to be waiting for her when she got home. His intentions had hit the mark. Sharon felt a small tear of gratitude roll down her cheek. She slipped off her shoes and curled up on the couch. Still clutching the postcard, she drifted off to a blissful slumber.

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><p>His name was Roger Glufdin. And he was wearing a sweater vest with pleated khaki Dockers. He slurped his soda and was total mouth breather. He was Angela's boss's nephew. It was the Blind Date from Hell: Part Deux.<p>

Mrs. McWindle had over heard her berating Charlotte for setting her up on such a horrible blind date the week before and she was certain that Angela would fall head over heels for Roger. In Mrs. McWindle's exact words he was 'quite a catch'. Considering that Angela no longer had the ambition to try and discover her soul mate on her own (the last two guys she had met and went on dates with on her own accord had also ended in disaster) she wrongly assumed that another blind date couldn't be that bad.

They had sat through the entire movie in complete silence. It was as if there was some sort of invisible wall prohibiting any type of interaction. The movie was marketed as a comedy, but all of the humor was forced and expected. Still she tried to laugh along with the rest of the viewing audience, and even tried glancing over her shoulder at Roger hoping they could at least make some sort of eye contact. But no, he sat completely rigid with his hands in his lap facing directly forward; his face failed to show amusement or any other type of emotion.

When the credits finally rolled Roger stood up quickly and proceeded towards the theater's exit. Angela followed, struggling to keep pace with him as he hurried out of the cinema. Once he reached the sidewalk under the marquee, Roger stopped on a dime and turned to face her. Angela hadn't been paying attention so she crashed directly into him.

"This was a lovely evening. Thank you for sharing it with me." Angela was blindsided by his comment. He had hardly said more than three words to her throughout the duration of their 'date'. She stood there stunned, with a perplexed look on her face.

"Yes. It was a funny movie." She lied politely.

"I'd be honored if you'd accompany me to dinner at a later date." Due to the formality with which he spoke Angela had to cover her mouth and fake coughing to disguise her uncontrollable urge to start laughing. Once she regained her composure she skirted around a definite reply.

"Well I'm going to be quite busy in the next few weeks. I'll have to get a hold of you later on and see what we can figure out…"

"Understandable. It is getting rather late, I must be going. Farewell." And with that he was gone. Angela stood dumbstruck for a few minutes as the rest of the movie crowd funneled out around her. It had been the single most awkward night of her entire life. As she started walking back to her apartment she shook her head and reveled in the weirdness of it all. _This whole dating thing is for the birds... _She swore to herself right then and there to forego dating for dating's sake. She would be completely content to spend every Friday and Saturday night of the rest of her life at home by herself, as long as it meant not having to sit through another Roger or Stephen or Mitch or Ken catastrophe.

* * *

><p>Massachusetts, Maryland, Delaware, Virginia, South Carolina, Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, Mississippi, Louisiana, Kentucky, Arkansas, and Missouri. Over the last four and half weeks, Jordan had set foot in each one of these states. And in some the band had played multiple cities before moving on to the next state. They hadn't had two nights off in a row since they had left Maine. On the nights they weren't playing they were driving through the night to make it to the next venue. Although, every city and every crowd was different, Jordan craved a break in the routine, even if it just was a day out of the ordinary to fill his life with something that didn't involve him being on stage or touching a guitar.<p>

"Bro." Shane beckoned as he tossed a random magazine at Jordan to get his attention. "Where are we?"

"Missouri… now I think." Jordan answered as he looked at the stretched farmland speeding by outside the bus window. "Why?"

"Do you know who is from Missouri?" Shane had a curious smirk on his face. The question was so random that Jordan knew that there had to be some sort of ulterior motive behind it. His best friend had barely cracked a smile in the past few weeks after he'd returned from bringing Sharon to the airport. Jordan was happy to see him acting more like his jovial self.

"There are plenty of people who hail from Missouri, but I'm sure you're talking about someone specific. So, why don't you just tell me instead of making me waste both of our time by guessing?"

"You're no fun. - Fine. Allen Epley," as he said it a huge grin spread across Shane's face.

"The lead singer of Shiner? They broke up man. Much to the dismay of the entire musical realm… Why are you smiling like an idiot about the fact that we're driving through the state he was born in?" Jordan was seriously confused. Shane knew something he didn't and by his friend's current state it must have been something good.

"Do you remember when we saw them play with Jawbox at Pike Street? That might have been the best goddamn night of my entire life."

"Hell yeah I remember that show. It was amazing. What made you think of that? Were you just feeling especially nostalgic?"

"You know how Epley started a new band a while ago – The Life and Times. They're like the reincarnated force of Shiner. And just the other day I was talking to a friend of mine who said they're currently touring with Engine Down. As fate would have it, they're playing the day after our show in Kansas City at some low key space in St. Louis." Shane slapped his hand on the table out of excitement and rocked back quickly in his seat.

"We're there. I don't think I could look at myself in the mirror ever again if I missed the union of those two bands on stage together." Jordan could now feel himself grinning widely. Shane's enthusiasm had spread to him with ease. He had a renewed sense of purpose for their last night on this leg of the tour; the Kansas City audience was definitely in for a treat.

The tour bus was heading up to Iowa to get some much needed maintenance. Chandler and Eli had already taken cabs to the nearest airport and were flying back to New York City to spend their week off at home in their own beds. Shane and Jordan had planned on accompanying them back to the city originally, but with knowledge of the Engine Down/The Life and Times show, they had elected to make a slight detour first. They left their hotel room and rented a car allowing them to drive the rest of the distance to St. Louis the day of the show. Jordan had become so pacified by being driven around the country over the last few months that he appreciated the ability to get back behind the wheel of a car. Nothing would ever come close to driving his Red, but being in control of his own forward motion at the moment felt pretty damn good.

They drove past the venue where the show was scheduled three times before finally finding it. It was a small dark building that from the outside didn't look fit to host a show of such caliber. Shane and Jordan arrived late enough to miss the two opening bands and were able to lose themselves in the crowd without having to deal with anyone recognizing them. As Epley and the rest of his new bandmates took the stage Jordan was hit with a wall of sound. He was instantly brought back to the night at Pike Street where he had first been able to see one of his idols live out his dream before him.

_1996 – Pike Street_

_Jordan's stomach had been in knots all day due to sheer anticipation of the concert that night. He had been looking forward to it for months. Allen Epley was one of his idols and the music Shiner radiated spoke to him on an entirely separate level from most of the other bands he listened too. It was like the lyrics had been wrenched form his soul. Like someone outside him had provided the band with a narration of how he felt within the confines of his life. Tonight nothing else mattered but what happened on that stage inside this building. He and Shane had arrived two hours before the doors opened so they would be guaranteed a spot in the front of the crowd. It had proven an unnecessary precaution because they were the only ones waiting that early. The rest of the concert goers didn't arrive until the time the doors were listed to open. After the line started to fill in behind them, Jordan scanned the plaid attired population for familiar faces. He saw Chet, Ryan, Emmaleigh, Jerry, Fiona, Brandon, Jake, and Eli all standing in a group about thirty people behind them. Neither he nor Shane were willing to give up their prime real estate in order to be with their friends. Their love for Shiner and Jawbox was unmatched; tonight would be something bordering on a religious experience for the both of them. _

_Just before the doors opened Jordan caught a flash of red further down the line. Even in a crowd of hundreds, Angela Chase stood out. It was like wherever she was his eyes were magnetically drawn to her. As if sensing him looking at her, she turned and nodded in acknowledgement. He saw that she was there with Rayanne and Rickie. Thankfully Krakow was nowhere in sight. Jordan still hadn't gotten over seeing them together. He knew that the dismal end of he and Angela's relationship had been his fault, but he still didn't have to like the fact that she chose to be with some weird nerdy kid over giving him a second chance. He didn't think he would have been able to handle the idea of Angela sharing this night of musical perfection, which spoke so much of what was in his soul, with Brain. Since she was still looking in his direction, Jordan yelled to Angela to meet up with him inside. She said that she'd try, but he knew it'd be difficult for her to fight her way through the growing crowd up to where he and Shane would be standing. _

_As the evening progressed, Jordan seemed to rotate in and out of full consciousness throughout the two sets. He was so fully lost in the music and the experience that he wasn't entirely aware of what else was going on around him. At a moment of clarity during a slower tempod song, Jordan was able to locate Angela. She was standing a few people behind him. Her eyes were closed as she swayed to the rhythm of the music filling up the four walls of the space. He thought to himself how beautifully serene her face was, she looked completely at peace. Jordan turned back to face the band, following Angela's example he shut his eyes. He let the image of her burn itself into his brain and the wave of Shiner's sound wash over and envelope him. _

As Allen Epley thanked the crowd and exited the stage Jordan was brought back to the present. The memory of the show at Pike Street - how he had felt from the music and from seeing the way Angela reacted to it too, made Jordan feel heavy. Engine Down took the stage and Jordan was lifted out of his nostalgic state and made very aware of his current environment. The crowd started to ebb and flow with the music. He and Shane allowed themselves to be carried with it. The band played through their set list, with the two of them screaming the lyrics they knew so well until their voices rasped. As the crowd seemed to calm itself, Keeley Davis played the first few chords to _Song Bird_ and the group of people erupted. Jordan felt a rush of emotion. Since the first moments he heard the eerie and melancholy notes to this song it had been one of his favorites. It was beyond beautiful, something he would have be unbelievably proud to have written and was quite jealous of the fact that he hadn't. The gnawing sorrow of the lyrics and melody brought images of Angela racing back to him. The lines "Your song bird has just called me out/This wrong word just might blow out" replayed over and over in his head long after their set had ended. When Jordan and Shane left the venue after the concert they were both still buzzing off the energy from the crowd and the impact of the music.

"Where's the airport in this town? We're you thinking about grabbing the redeye and trying to get back to New York tonight?" Shane was in the passenger seat with his feet planted up on the dashboard.

"Well, no. I have something I have to take care of before heading back home. I'm not really sure there will be any late night flights I can hop on. If you want though I can get you to the airport and then I'll just stay in a hotel before heading out tomorrow." Jordan wasn't trying to be overly secretive about what ideas he had up his sleeve; he honestly wasn't entirely sure what he was planning to do with his week of freedom, but he knew that had no intention of spending it in his lonely apartment. Tonight though, with the weird and wonderful mixture of feelings he had coursing through him, he had to finish the letter he had been composing for Angela. Then he would plot his course.

"I do need to get to the airport, but I'm not going right back to NYC. I'm going to stop off in Chicago. I have to talk with Sharon. I owe it to her and myself to see where this thing between us is headed. That and I just want to feel her in my arms again. I've felt so… empty these last few weeks. I dream about her every night. I can't tell if it's a comfort or if it's tearing me apart." Shane wasn't looking at Jordan as he spoke, but was watching the street lights glide past as Jordan sped over the distance reaching out in front of them. After finally arriving at the airport, Jordan waited for Shane to purchase his ticket to O'Hare and then made ready to say a quick goodbye.

"Do what you have to do. Cherski is a good woman. You deserve to be happy Shane." They hugged quickly and parted ways, knowing that whatever the next seven days held for them there would be a tour bus waiting for them once the week was over.

* * *

><p>Her whole body ached. She felt completely broken. There was not an ounce of strength left within her entire being. Angela had been waylaid for the last few days with the nastiest case of influenza that she had ever experienced in her life. <em>I am dying. I have to be. This is what death feels like. There is no possible way that someone can feel this miserable and be allowed to go on living their life.<em> She thought to herself mellow dramatically as she pulled the blanked up around her shoulders.

Angela had done nothing but cycle through sleep, watching movies, and reading books for three days. Thanks to her illness she had been parked on the couch making her way through the majority of her movie collection. She could feel herself succumbing to fever induced exhaustion yet again that evening as she watched Troy Dyer and Lelaina Pierce vent their sexual tension towards each other on her television. She felt an odd familiarity to the movie _Reality Bites_. It had been an instant favorite of hers since the first time she had watched it in high school. Angela could relate whole heartedly to the frustration, yet undeniable attraction that Lelaina felt for Troy in the movie. It wasn't hard to figure out why. He was cool and a little dangerous; aloof, yet passionate about the things that mattered most to him; shaggy haired, scruffy faced, and unquestionably handsome with eyes every girl wanted to lose herself in. Troy Dyer was the cinematic doppelganger of Jordan Catalano, although far more philosophical and loquacious.

Angela gave up fighting sleep. Her body craved rest and wouldn't let her resist any longer. Not willing to waste the energy of getting up and walking to her bed, she decided to spend another night on the couch. Indiana was tucked up around her feet. As she let her eyelids rest, she heard Troy Dyer exclaim "This is all we need...a cup of coffee and a little bit of conversation. You and me and five bucks." _Why don't they make boys who say such wonderful things in real life… _ she thought to herself as she drifted away from consciousness.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Sorry this update was so delayed. I had written up Angela going on a handful of other dates, but they all just felt so wrong. It's like the universe had something against it, not allowing me to write about J &amp; A being apart. Hah! <strong>

**Also, I realized that in the last chapter I said the guy Angela that would be going on a date with was named 'Reggie'... but turns out I also said Rayanne's cousin from the Battle of the Bands flashback was also named Reggie. So as to avoid any confusion, I renamed the dbag she goes out with Stephen. Hope you didn't get too tripped up on that.  
><strong>

**As far as the music references in this chapter go, The Life and Times only toured with Engine Down in California in 2006 during ED's last tour (about a yearish after the time frame of this story) - I rearranged history a bit since being able to attend that concert would have made my whole life. Since I couldn't, its nice to allow the characters to go there and live vicariously through them. Shiner did tour with Jawbox in '96, but I don't think they were ever in Pennsylvania. Maybe?  
><strong>

** And a special thanks to Helveticajones for reminding me that Jordan Catalano and Troy Dyer are such kindred spirits. **


	10. Chapter 10

**I own nothing... So my last couple chapters have been transitory/fillers... I thought I'd reward you all with some J/A facetime (swooon). I hope you like where this story is going. If you have any comments or suggestions give me a shout.**

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><p>"Shit. Shit. Shit." Charlotte riffled through the pile of orders on the rickety old office desk. "Ren! Did you move the order listings for today? I could have sworn that I left them right here on the desk last night before I locked up!"<p>

"No. I haven't laid a finger on an order sheet in two weeks. I've been up to my elbows in single stems and repotting the hanging baskets everyday this week. When is Angela coming back to work? Things are getting out of control around here without her." Ren picked at the dirt embedded under her fingernail. Repotting the outdoor plants into larger pots was a job that generally got doled out to two or three employees, but since Angela had been on vacation and then had come down with a bad bout of the flu shortly after her return home, Ren had been faced with the task alone.

"She said she should be back on Monday. The doctor said she was no longer contagious, that the virus had pretty much worked its way out of her system, but he wants her to stay home and get plenty of rest over the weekend before coming back into the shop." Charlotte yelled her response as she continued to dig through the piles and piles of paperwork on the desk. It was hard to make heads or tails of everything in the office. Mrs. McWindle had decided last week that she would be taking leave of the shop indefinitely. She had recently celebrated her 65th birthday and simply just could not handle the day to day any longer. That left all of the technical business aspects to fall on the shoulders of Charlotte. Having never been a very organized person, she was just barely keeping her head above water.

"Oh Char? I think there's a problem with the green sink in the back room. It drains really slow, makes a weird gurgling noise and sometimes spits up water. We probably should get a plumber out here sometime soon." Ren was in the middle of loading the bags of premium soil that had been delivered that morning onto a two wheel cart so she could get them out to the greenhouse.

_Great. One more thing to have to deal with… _Charlotte thought as she paused her search to compose herself. "Ah Hah!" After having overturned every pile of papers on the desk, Charlotte finally came across the orders that were due that day. She kept her fingers crossed that most of arrangements had already been completed and that they would just have to be finalized before the customers picked them up. She scooped up the eight yellow slips and jaunted across the shop to the cooler where the finished arrangements were held. "Schooler – Done. Arron – Done. Clindes – Done. Zimanski –Done. Upton x3 – Done, Done, and Done. Barker – Done. Thompson – Not done. Rosenberge – Done." After she had checked the orders in the refrigerated unit she noticed an odd order slip. I didn't have a name or delivery address. The arrangement that had been requested was quite large and more expensive than most of the other arrangements in the cooler combined. As she studied the order, she recognized the frantic handwriting to be Ren's. Charlotte stepped into the shop but couldn't see her co-worker anywhere. After searching a bit longer she found her surrounded by empty hanging baskets in the green house.

"What's up with this order? There's no name… no credit card listed to hold the order… no delivery instructions…" Charlotte's eyes skimmed the skeletal order form as she tried to make sense of it.

"Oh. That guy. Ugh. He called last week and was a complete asshole. All he said was that he needed a large arrangement of ranuculus, in as many colors as he could get. I told him that it would be pretty pricey because they aren't really in season and that we'd have to special order them. He said he didn't care how much it was going to cost, just that it was really important and there absolutely could not be any substitutions. He also asked what my name was and wanted to make sure that I would work on the flowers in secret." At this point Charlotte was looking at Ren while she recounted with a scrunched look of confusion on her face. "I know. Weird right? Well, its gets even more odd. He refused to give his name, or phone number, or a name for the order. When I told him that we would need a credit card number to start the special order, he said he couldn't provide that information due to certain privacy issues he has. He swore on his life and the grave of his mother that he would pay, and offered extra for my troubles. I asked him just how he planned to do that and he said he'd be here to pick up the arrangement. After he made me swear a couple more times that I wouldn't tell anyone else here at the shop about the order he said to expect him today… at 2:30 and then hung up. I know I probably should have cleared it with you first, but I had a gut feeling about it so I didn't say anything."

"So, it's done?"

"Yeah. I finished it yesterday. I almost threw my back out trying to carry it into the smaller cooler where I didn't think anyone would see it. Too bad Angela isn't here today; I think she really would have dug it. You know how much she loves those dumb flowers."

Charlotte checked the unnamed order off her to do list. She left Ren in the greenhouse and went to look at the mysterious arrangement for herself. "Whoa…" she said softly as she opened the heavy steel door to the cooler. The flowers were crowded into the largest, most substantial vase the shop carried on hand. The bent and twisted out in all directions. The tallest stems stood about three feet above the countertop. It was about two and a half feet in circumference. If the customer had wanted the flowers to make a statement, they would certainly do their job. She exited the cooler and began to take care of the rest of tasks that awaited her.

A little after two o'clock Charlotte heard bells attached to the front door chime, signaling that a customer had walked in. She stood up from the desk in the office and walked to the front register to greet them. "Welcome to McWindle's Floral. How can I help you?"

A man with shaggy chestnut hair stood with his back to her. He was running his fingers over the waxy leaves of a peony bouquet. Upon her greeting he turned to face her. She recognized him instantly form the television promos and tabloid covers - Jordan Catalano.

"Hi. I, uh, placed an order a few days ago. Do you know if it's ready?" Jordan spoke softly and politely. His clear blue eyes were hidden behind a pair of sunglasses. He had tried to dress as unremarkably as possible in an old grey t-shirt and faded jeans, but he could tell that the woman behind the counter realized who he was.

"What name did you place the order under?" Charlotte knew that there wasn't anything in the back for a Catalano, that name would not have gone unnoticed. She had a suspicious feeling that he however belonged to the giant arrangement that Ren had put together.

"Actually, I didn't leave a name. It was supposed to be a bit of a secret. Well, more like a surprise. Is Angela Chase working by any chance?" Jordan could not believe how nervous he got at just the idea of seeing her. He habitually began nibbling on his thumb nail and waited for the girl's answer.

"No. No, she's not here. She's been sick for the last few days. Was she supposed to help you with your order?" Charlotte had remembered Angela mentioning a few times that she knew Jordan when she was younger. But she had never really gone into detail about how well they knew each other.

"Seriously?" He sighed exasperatedly. Jordan couldn't believe his luck. "These are supposed to be _for _her." He had planned to surprise Angela at work with a huge bouquet of her favorite flowers, something he thought would be a chivalrous, noble gesture. That she wasn't at the flower shop was disappointing news, the fact that he had no idea how else to find her was even worse. He really hadn't thought too far beyond the flowers and showing up at her job, which was the location for the address which Cherski had scribbled down for him weeks ago. "Sorry. I'm just a little frustrated. Do you know of any way I could get these to her? It's pretty important."

"Yeah. We can figure something out. How much time do you have? I have an idea that I think Angela will really love…"

The room had stopped spinning and her body no longer ached. She had been able to keep down six entire meals. Yet, she still felt completely exhausted. Angela had gone to her doctor that morning, and was thankful to hear from her that she should rest up for a few days before returning to work. The wooden clock that hung on her living room wall chimed 4 o'clock as Angela stretched herself across the large cushions on her couch. She couldn't lie in her bed any longer and had stripped all of the sheets to wash them. Having been sick for the last few days, she felt claustrophobic in her apartment. She wanted to get out of these walls, but her body just had no energy to allow her to do so. Indiana sat despondently on the floor. He had also been mostly confined to the apartment while Angela had been sick. She had made sure to open up all of the windows to let some fresh air in, to right both of their brains. As she sat on the couch reading a Margaret Atwood novel, Angela heard a soft knock on the door. At first she thought she might be hearing things. After being alone for so many days, here head had started to play more than a few tricks on her. A few minutes later, the knock came again more forceful and insistent this time. This louder knock got Indiana's attention and sent him bounding off toward the door.

Angela wasn't very accustomed to getting unannounced visitors or solicitors at her apartment. The main door off the living room could only be reached through the common area of the apartment building, and to get into the building you needed a key. She had another door, which was currently being knocked on, that was on her back porch and opened into her dining room. Considering that she lived on the second floor of the apartment building, and there was a hefty flight of stairs leading up to her back porch, random visits from people she didn't know or invite weren't a common occurrence. She pushed herself off the couch and shuffled into the dining room, carefully parting the curtains covering the window next to the back door to get some idea of just who had come a'calling.

On her back porch stood a man holding a large bouquet of flowers in a white porcelain water pitcher. His face was hidden by the blooms, but his body language conveyed that he was either impatient or nervous. Angela slowly opened the door and as she did Jordan's face snapped into view. Her heart sank into her feet and she swallowed her breath.

"Jordan? … What? … Why?" Angela stammered in utter confusion as she took in the scene on her porch. Not only was Jordan Catalano standing at her back door holding a bundle of flowers, but he was surrounded by five other arrangements. They were divided into all of her favorite color varieties; the one in Jordan's arms was an amalgamation of them all.

"Hey…" Jordan was instantly struck dumb. The flowers were supposed to be his grand gesture. And the nice young lady at the flower shop had helped him load all of the bouquets into the flower shop's delivery van to bring over to Angela's. They had stopped at second hand store on the way to her apartment and picked out five other containers and then divided up the flowers according to color. He was surrounded and hoped that this would make an even stronger impression than just the individual bouquet he had originally planned on delivering. "I thought I remembered you saying these were your favorite."

"Oh yeah. They are. Wow. This is… I'm just… wow." The words tripped and tangled up each other as the tumbled out of her mouth. She was completely in shock to find Jordan Catalano on her back porch. Her brain was already spinning trying to figure out just how he had managed to find her. Angela took a deep breath and allowed herself to appreciate the happy surprise. "Jordan they're beautiful. Do you want to come inside?"

"Yeah, that'd be great." Jordan carried all of the floral arrangements into the house and set them all on the dining room table. With them all piled up like that he thought to himself _shit.. maybe I over did it a little…_

Angela looked all out of sorts. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun on top of her head. She had on an old Bulls jersey #23 circa 1993 that hung down to mid thigh. Jordan wasn't sure if she wearing anything underneath it and the mystery of it made him a little dizzy. Even though her skin looked pale and she had dark circles under her eyes, which were apparent due to her complete lack of makeup, seeing her again reaffirmed that he had never been around someone so naturally beautiful, flu or no flu.

"I, uh, wasn't expecting any company. I'm sorry I'm such a mess. What.." Angela's train of thought trailed off. As she closed the back door she saw the white van with McWindle's logo splayed across the side back out of her parking lot. _Charlotte. This must have been all her idea… but how in the world would she ever get in contact with Jordan Catalano. None of this makes any goddamn sense._ "Jordan. What the hell are you doing here?"

"We finished up our Eastern leg of the tour, and I have a few days before I have to be back on the bus. I didn't feel right with the way we left things in Chicago.." Jordan was trying to subtly take in all of the details of the room he was standing in. _So this is Angela Chase's apartment. It's exactly like I imagined it would be, yet completely different at the same time. How is that even possible? _ "I planned to surprise you at work with all of these, but when I got there this afternoon your friend Charlotte said you were out sick and offered to bring me over here. But I can go if you want me to." Jordan suddenly realized that he couldn't just go. He was completely stranded. He had taken a cab from the airport to the flower shop and then gotten dropped off on Angela's back porch. Forethinking wasn't really in his nature. He started toward the door he had come in through, "I'll just call a cab or something…"

"Wait. No, you don't have to leave. I'm just kind of shocked over all of this. I've been locked up here in my apartment for the last couple days and now all of a sudden you show up out of the blue. I haven't even showered in two days." Her last statement was supposed to be a personal thought but she just blabbed it out loud. Angela's face reddened. "Could you give me a few minutes to clean up? The living room is right through there if you want to…"

"Well, why don't I go out and take a walk for a bit?" He was too anxious to sit still, but he wasn't going to admit that to her. "The weather is great. And on the way over here I saw that there is a park just up the road. I can wander around there for a while. I'd probably go crazy just sitting in your living room."

"Okaaaaay." Angela was still completely dumbstruck. Jordan Catalano was in her dining room. What alternate universe was this? "I won't be any longer than twenty minutes or so."

"Great. I'll be back in a bit." Jordan practically turned and ran out the door while Angela stood temporarily frozen on the hardwood floor. As soon as the door shut behind him Angela hopped into the shower. She combed her wet hair and threw on jeans and the first t-shirt her hands touched in her closet – faded chocolate brown with a screen print for the cover of _New Miserable Experience_ barely still identifiable on the front; it had been Rayanne's and it always made her feel a little more comfortable in awkward situations, like her friend was with her keeping an eye on her. After brushing her teeth, Angela picked up the phone and dialed the number to the flower shop.

Charlotte answered, "McWindle's Floral."

"You know you're a dead woman when I get back there, right?

"Oh don't you dare pretend that you're actually mad at me for dropping off a beautiful man bearing heaps of your favorite flowers. Now stop calling me and go _enjoooooy_ yourself." And with that Charlotte hung up the phone. Angela stood their looking at the receiver and smiled to herself.

Forty five minutes had passed since Jordan Catalano had been standing in her apartment. As far as Angela was concerned, it felt like it had been months ago. The situation was completely surreal and she hadn't quite grasped what was going on. She had told him it wouldn't take her that long to shower, yet he still stayed away. _Maybe he got lost? Why didn't I let him leave? Stupid Angela! THE Jordan Catalano shows up on your doorstep and you let him walk away? Good job. He said he was going to the park… I should go see if he's strung up in a mulberry bush or something. But what if I leave and he comes back and thinks I'm avoiding him… UGH! I'll take my chances. If I sit here any longer my brain is going to explode._

She hopped off the couch and snatched Indiana's leash off the hook. They walked past the park but she didn't see anyone languishing on the grass or traversing the paths. _Where in the world did he disappear to? He's probably been abducted by a pact of hormone crazed teen age girls… that would be my luck. _

"Angela!" Jordan was a few yards up the sidewalk. He was burdened with two very large brown paper bags. The two met half way, standing far enough away from each other to occupy their own squares of concrete. "I got a little turned around on my walk back from the park. Good news though is that I ran right into your local famers' market." Jordan had a broad grin on his face. He looked quite pleased with himself. The lower portion of his chin was obscured by some zucchini and a leafy herb sticking out of the bag.

"And you felt the need to buy out all of the vendors? Do you want some help with those?" She said light heartedly as Jordan handed her the lighter of the two bags. Angela nosily dug through the contents of the bag she was carrying. Tomatoes, cucumbers, garlic, peppers in all variations of color, a big bundle of cilantro, onions, and a handful of items at the bottom of the bag that she couldn't get to. "Jordan you didn't need to buy all of this. If you're hungry we could just grab something at the diner around the corner."

"Actually, I have a bit of a tradition for the first meal I don't have to cook on that bus. It started after the first small tour we did; me and the rest of the guys must have eaten at fast food places for every meal while we were playing. We didn't know what kind of food to bring along with us and everyone had been too excited to really even think about that kind of thing. So, by the time we finally got back to New York, I felt like I needed to binge on some veggies or something healthy. A friend of mine at the time had mentioned a soup called gazpacho. I tried my hand at making it the night we got home, loved it, and now it doesn't really feel right if I don't make a batch after a tour." Jordan rambled through his story as they reached Angela's apartment and climbed up the creaky stairs. "Would you mind if I made us some for dinner instead of going out to get something?"

"That sounds wonderful. After being sick for the last few days my body is craving some vitamins and minerals." They set the bags down on the counter and started to unload all of Jordan's purchases. Angela noticed that along with the veggies, he had also picked up a few bottles of wine. "I've never noticed these for sale at the farmers' market…"

"Oh. Yeah. I passed a nice little delicatessen while I was wandering; Wayne's, I think it was called. I wasn't sure if you like red or white wine so I grabbed a couple bottles of each." Jordan set to work washing all of the vegetables. With Angela's direction he located her cutting board, chopping knives, mixing bowls and food processor. While Jordan was busing himself with preparing dinner Angela opened up the bottle of Pinot Grigio and poured them both healthy glass of wine. She didn't want to get in his way, so she distributed the various arrangements of flowers that he had brought into each room of the house. Once she had finished that, Angela perched herself on the bar stools that sat next to the breakfast nook in her kitchen. _Is there anything that Jordan Catalano doesn't do flawlessly?_ She thought to herself as he prepared their meal fluidly. While he cooked they laughed and drank. He told her about seeing The Life and Times play with Engine Down a few days previous. She was unbelievably jealous, knowing that Engine Down was breaking up and that type of opportunity would never present itself again. And then they drank and laughed some more. When the gazpacho was finally finished, they agreed that since the weather was so nice that they should eat dinner out on her porch.

Somehow, over the course of dinner their conversation topic had touched literature… a place it wouldn't have wandered to when they had been younger. The crowded bookshelves in Angela's apartment had not gone unnoticed by Jordan. He told her how after the help for his reading difficulties, which she had encouraged him to seek; he found that he loved the escapism that books provided him. They talked about their favorite authors; they found that they both agreed on their love for the works of Hemingway, Salinger, P.D. James, Atwood, Palahniuk, Butler, Proulx, and McCarthy. By the time they had finished the sun was setting below the wall of Oak trees that bordered Angela's street. The sky had a soft watercolor wash of pastels. Wisps of clouds drifted across the sky and seemed to stir the colors together.

"This is quite a nice set up you have here, Chase." Jordan ran his finger along the edge of one of the cushions populating the bench that he had sunk into.

"Thanks. Who ever lived here before me built the benches, but I thought they'd be a hell of a lot more comfortable with some padding to them." Angela tucked her legs underneath her and cradled her wine glass in her hands. With the sun going down Jordan's eyes were no longer so startling, they now reflected the gentle colors of the sky above them. Maybe it was the three bottles of wine that they had managed to finish off, but Angela had never felt so comfortable and content in her life. She knew without a doubt that here, seated inches away from Jordan Catalano was exactly where the universe needed her to be.

"You've come a long way from that bag you sewed in high school… the one with the secret pocket. You're quite the seamstress now." Jordan chuckled to himself and he patted the full cushion behind him. Angela was taken aback at Jordan's comment. She was flattered that he had remembered such a minor detail. He had only seen the bag once and it had been for a brief for a moment. Angela leaned her head back on the cushion, shut her eyes, smiled softly and breathed in deeply.

"Listen. Do you hear that? I love the sound of that bird." Angela said as she tried to scan the branches closest to them to try and find the songbird that was serenading them. "It's a Nightingale. It sounds like six different birds rolled into one… like it can't decide what song to sing. Or like it's not entirely sure who it is. "

"She's morning the loss of her child." Jordan said sedately. At such a random statement Angela sat upright, cocked her head, and looked at him quizzically. "Greek mythology says that the sisters Procne and Philomela were turned into birds by the Gods. Philomela had her tongue cut out long ago and was turned into a Swallow, because the Swallow doesn't sing, it only chirps. Procne was turned into a Nightingale; the bird's song represents the lamentation of the woman who killed her son because he too closely resembled his horrible father, Procne's husband, who had betrayed her repeatedly."

Angela could not believe what she was hearing. Jordan Catalano was reciting Greek Mythology to her. He was so different from the boy she had fallen in love with years ago, but being with him felt the same, if only stronger and more defined. She was well aware of the fact that he seemed to have the world in the palm of his hand: an envious record deal, various brand endorsements, an affluent lifestyle that allowed him the ability to travel where ever he please when he wasn't touring, and plenty of other perks that Angela Chase knew nothing about. But right now, in this moment, he was with her and her only. The whole idea of it made her heart swell. She started laughing at the absurdity of it all.

"What's so funny?" Jordan asked smiling as he leaned forward to place his empty glass on the small table in front of them.

"Oh nothing. Just you… being here… telling me about Greek myths, drinking wine, and cooking me dinner. I never could have guessed that you would end up on my doorstep. Sure, I wished for it about a million times… but I'm sure the majority of the female population between the ages of 18 and 35 has done the same thing. I guess I really lucked out." Angela slightly resented the wine for having coaxed her to speak so freely, but in the next moment Jordan had shifted closer to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He pulled her in next to his side and she rested her head on his chest.

"I just wish I could have made it here a little sooner." Jordan paused for a long while, welcoming the closeness of Angela. "Do you want to hear more about the Greeks?" She nodded in affirmation against him. He spent the next hour defining the constellations for her. Pointing out which starts belonged where and the stories behind them. Jordan told her about of The Pleiades, Cassiopeia, Cygnus, Orion, and Callisto. Angela absorbed everything he was saying, not because she expected ever to need such information, but because they were his words and no one had ever spoken them so sweetly.

Jordan leaned down and said softly enough to be considered a whisper, "Hey. It's getting pretty late. Do you want to go inside?"

Angela blinked away the sleep that was threatening to take hold. She stood up and stretched. Jordan took advantage of the dimly lit porch to drink in the woman in front of him. As she stretched her arms her Gin Blossoms t-shirt hiked up slightly and he could see the creamy skin of her stomach and how her jeans hugged her legs in all the right ways. Before he knew it she had walked over to the table and was noisily gathering their dinner dishes, breaking him out of his daze.

After they had gathered everything in the kitchen, Jordan was suddenly aware of how much liquid he had consumed of the last few hours and asked Angela where her bathroom was. She directed him down the small hallway to the door on the left. Jordan made his way down the hall and was confronted with a problem. There were two doors on the left, both of which were closed. He knew one was the bathroom and assumed the other might be Angela's bedroom, which if he opened the portal to he knew he might not be able to resist the temptation of stepping inside. Ultimately he decided on the last door. He turned the tarnished brass knob and flicked the switch close at hand.

It wasn't her bedroom, and it certainly wasn't a bathroom. The room Jordan had entered had piles and piles of objects that initially seemed completely foreign to him. There were lace globes that were strung all about from the ceiling in one corner. Yards of fabric came cascading out of the closet and draped the flower. In another corner there were boxes of what looked like different color silk flowers. Four jars of buttons were stacked along the back of a desk, which was also littered with scissors, pens, rulers, pin cushions, and fabric glue. Stacked against the far wall there were twenty some odd, empty frames – all of them ornate and in various colors of brass and gold. Groupings of dried flowers hung upside down from a clothes line that stretched the width of the room. On the desk there was a small solitary book. It looked vaguely familiar but he couldn't place it. The cover was a honey colored leather with an embroidered spine. The corners were well worn from years of repeated use. Jordan stepped gingerly over the piles of fabric on the floor, careful not to disturb anything. He wasn't entirely sure why, but he was drawn to the small journal. When he picked it up and thumbed through it, he recognized Angela's elegant script on all of the pages. He remember being impressed with her fluid penmanship when he had found the five page confessional letter that she had addressed to him and then conveniently lost in the museum years ago. Jordan noted the dates along the top of the pages. They ranged from 1993 up through 2002. Instead of the diary entries that Jordan had half expected to find, within the pages of the book he was confronted with countless poems. Their small stanzas centered gracefully down the each page. Some entries skipping ahead months or even years before the next one began. He flipped to the beginning of the book and found the date that he dreaded.

_JANUARY 15, 1995_

_I let it fall, my heart,_  
><em>And as it fell, you rose to claim it.<em>  
><em>It was dark and I was over<em>  
><em>Until you kissed my lips and you saved me.<em>  
><em>My hands, they're felt<em>  
><em>But my knees were far too weak<em>  
><em>To stand in your arms<em>  
><em>Without falling to your feet.<em>

_But there's a side to you_  
><em>That I never knew, never knew.<em>  
><em>All the things you'd say<em>  
><em>They were never true, never true,<em>  
><em>And the games you play<em>  
><em>You would always win, always win.<em>

_But I set fire to the rain,_  
><em>Watched it pour as I touched your face,<em>  
><em>Well, it burned while I cried<em>  
><em>'Cause I heard it screaming out your name.<em>

_Sometimes I wake up by the door,_  
><em>That heart you caught, must be waiting for you.<em>  
><em>Even now when we're already over<em>  
><em>I can't help myself from looking for you.<em>

_I set fire to the rain,_  
><em>Watch it pour as I touch your face,<em>  
><em>Well, it burned while I cried<em>  
><em>'Cause I heard it screaming out your name.<em>

_I set fire to the rain,_  
><em>And I threw us into the flames<em>  
><em>Well, it felt something died<em>  
><em>'Cause I knew that that was the last time.<em>

_Let it burn_  
><em>Let it burn<em>  
><em>Let it burn<em>

The entry marked the date just a few days after Angela had found out about he and Rayanne. The words in front of him illustrated for him just how hurt she had been. They were breathtakingly beautiful, but he knew it was written in agony. Jordan could remember the way she had walked through the halls of the school like a zombie for weeks after she had found out. A drunken impulse of his had nearly ruined everything. He had regretted that night every day thereafter, and upon reading the poem he hated himself again.

Hoping for some insight into the life Angela had led which he hadn't been a part of, Jordan leafed further through the journal. He knew it was an intrusion of her privacy, but once it was in his hands he couldn't help himself. He came across another date that was all too familiar to him.

_AUGUST 19, 1997_

_If you could only see the beast you've made of me_  
><em>I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free.<em>  
><em>Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart;<em>  
><em>drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart.<em>

_My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in,_  
><em>You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to howl.<em>

_Now there's no holding back, I'm making to attack._  
><em>My blood is singing with your voice, I want to pour it out.<em>  
><em>The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound,<em>  
><em>I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallow'd ground.<em>  
><em>Like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins<em>  
><em>I want to find you tear out all your tenderness<em>

_And howl_

_Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers_  
><em>Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters.<em>

_If you could only see the beast you've made of me_  
><em>I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free<em>.  
><em>The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound<em>  
><em>I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallow'd ground.<em>

The poem this time stung him. Her words were gothic and jarring. She wrote with a perspective beyond that of a seventeen year old. The graphic and borderline erotic lyrical confessions of the first two stanzas burned Jordan's eyes. He had never been particularly stirred by poetry, but these words, that Angel had put down on paper following the night they had slept together, turned him on more than anything he'd ever encountered. He realized then that he had only begun to imagine the passion that was walled up within Angela Chase. All he could think of was how badly he needed to feel her hands and mouth upon him. He knew then that what he had been missing all these years was her, and the freedom to lose himself within her.

Before putting the book back on desktop, he noticed that there was one loose sheet of paper that stuck out. He pulled it from his resting place and saw it to be scattered with music notes. The top of the page read **"Waiting: Music by Rayanne Graff; Lyrics by Angela Chase".** He glanced over the notes and could mentally hear the sorrowful melody.

_Hold me closer one more time_

_Say that you love me in your last goodbye_

_Please forgive me for my sins_

_Yes, I swam dirty waters but you pushed me in_

_I've seen your face under every sky_

_Over every border and on every line_

_You know my heart more than I do_

_We were the greatest, me and you_

_But we had time against us and miles between us_

_The heavens cried, I know I left you speechless_

_But now the sky has cleared and it's blue_

_And I see my future in you_

_I'll be waiting for you_

_when you're ready to love me again_

_I put my hands up,_

_I'll do everything different_

_I'll be better to you_

_Let me stay here for just one more night_

_Build your world around me and pull me to the light_

_So I can tell you that I was wrong_

_I was a child then but now I'm willing to learn_

_But we had time against us and miles between us_

_The heavens cried, I know I left you speechless_

_But now the sky has cleared and it's blue_

_And I see my future in you_

_I'll be waiting for you_

_when you're ready to love me again_

_I put my hands up,_

_I'll do everything different_

_I'll be better to you_

Jordan put the sheet music back in the book and set it down. He recognized the song. Tino had shown him a video of Graft performing it in her apartment the last time he had seen him. As the words sank into his soul, he began to think about how it seemed that Angela had penned the song from his point of view; how he felt for her. The words echoed through his brain. Jordan knew he was going to have to find away to show her just how true the lyrics to that song had turned out to be.

He turned to leave the room, and actually locate the bathroom. He stopped dead in his tracks. Angela was standing in the doorway, with her arms folded against her chest.

"So I see you found my workspace. Sorry about all the mess. I'm pretty unorganized."

"Sorry Ang. I didn't mean to snoop. I thought this was the bathroom… and then I saw all this _stuff_ in here, I couldn't help but explore a bit. What is all of this?"

"All different sorts of stuff. Those over there are lace lanterns… I use the picture frames to matte dried flowers or make collages from old magazine photos… I make those silk flowers over there into corsages or boutonnieres for weddings and events. That's my screen printing press… It's all just a bunch of junk I mess around with in my spare time. Sometimes I go to local craft fairs and sell off my inventory. It's basically just to keep me busy so I don't lose my mind. If I'm not making something, I tend to go a little stir crazy."

As Jordan went to exit the room, his hip bumped into a folder that was on the corner of the desk. The collision sent the folder and its contents tumbling to the hardwood floor. He bent down instantly to pick up the sheets that had scattered at his feet. Jordan turned the sheets over in his hand to be greeted by familiar faces. A much younger Brian Krakow, Rayanne Graft and Ricki Vasques. A young girl, who Jordan assumed was Angela's sister. Patti and Graham Chase, leaning against the kitchen counter. Sharon Cherski, looking more like he remembered her in school, than like the girl who had just been on the tour bus with Shane. There were countless multiples of each person. Since Angela's face was nowhere to be found, he considered it safe to assume that she had been the photographer. Everyone looked so happy in each picture. There was a soft light and artistic contrast in each of the pictures. Jordan didn't know much about photography, but after years of promo shots, he could recognize quality when he saw it. _She is a never ending string of surprises. _ Jordan thought as he leafed through the photos. He stopped once he came across his own face staring back at him. He was standing completely alone on stage staring directly into the lens. There was a spot light burning behind him and flaring out everything else in the frame. He knew instantly when the picture had been taken. The night Residue had played the Aragon. He remembered feeling some sort of strong connection that night. He knew then that it had been when he had unknowing laid eyes on Angela and stared down her lens.

"Did you take these?" He asked the question, which he already knew the answer to.

"Yes. I don't shoot as much as I used to, but I was heavy into photography for a long time. Sometimes I miss it. I just don't have the means here to do my own developing. There just isn't enough space for a darkroom."

"Angela. These are amazing. You could really do something… not to say that working in a flower shop isn't a nice job… but.." Jordan didn't know how to continue. He felt like if he said anymore he'd be insulting her choice of lifestyle. He just couldn't believe how talented she was, and all he had seen were simple shots of her loved ones.

"That one is my favorite." She pointed at the photo that Jordan was holding of himself. "I must have looked at it a thousand times over the last few years. Wondering where you were… what you were doing… who you were with." Her voice trailed off and she looked at the wooden door frame that was supporting her weight so that she didn't have to meet his questioning eyes.

"Angela." Jordan had set the folder of photos back and had stepped in front of her. He knew that he couldn't let another moment pass between them without telling her how he felt, why he had shown up at her doorstep. "I have thought about you every day since I left Three Rivers. Driving away from you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Seeing you in Chicago ignited everything I felt for you when we were in school. And now being here, with you again, I can hardly think straight."

Before Angela could utter a response, Jordan had covered her lips with his. He kissed her softly and honestly. His arms wrapped around the small of her back and pulled as physically close to him as possible. Angela allowed herself to melt into him. The feeling of his lips and his hands washed over her senses and she was drowned blissfully. Jordan deepened the kiss slightly so he could taste more of her as he felt Angela's hand run up the length of his side. He could feel her pressed against him and knew that if they stayed connected this way things were going to quickly escalate.

He pulled back from the kiss but didn't release her. She let both of her hands rest on his chest and stared wantingly into his eyes. How could he tell her that he wanted her, but didn't want to rush into things without sounding like an idiot? He searched face looking for the right response when she spoke softly.

"Jordan… this… you being here is unreal. It's like something right out of a dream or a movie or something. But maybe we shouldn't rush into anything just yet. It's been half a decade since we've spent more than a few hours together. Let's take this… slowly." She said as she stared intently into his eyes, looking for any trace of regret over the kiss they had just shared. He nodded in agreement before letting his forehead rest against hers, and breathing in deeply the sweet smell of her.

"I put some blankets for you on the couch." She said as she backed out of his embrace and crossed the hall over to her own bedroom. "Goodnight Jordan."

"Goodnight Angela." He closed the door to her workroom quietly behind him. And after finally locating the bathroom, Jordan curled up on the couch hoping to sung to sleep by the faint varied song of the Nightingale.

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><p><strong>AN: For the poems in Angela's journal I used lyrics from two different artists (mainly because I am horrendous at writing poetry... ask any of my previous professors). The first is<em> Set Fire to the Rain<em> by Adele. The song written by Angela/Rayanne is also by Adele, its real title is _I'll Be Waiting_. The second poem in the journal is from _Howl_ by Florence & The Machine. I did rework the lyrics so they came across more like poetry. I removed any repetitious choruses/verses. I picked them because I thought these songs had strong imagery that tied into the A/J history. Also, the imagery in them reminded me a bit of the poem Angela wrote in The Substitute episode.**

**Thanks again for reading! -K**


	11. Chapter 11

**I own nothing... Sorry guys. I know that wasn't very nice of me to leave Jordan stranded on the couch like that all by his lonesome. But, you know what they say about delayed gratification... I hope this chapter makes up for it :D As always, I'd love to hear what you're thinking. The last two chapters have been loaded with A/J fluff as a bit of a special reward for reading. The next few are going to push the story arc quite a bit. Thanks for reading! - K**

* * *

><p>Outside her window a car rolled by, its headlights causing the shadows to twist and bend as they scrolled across her ceiling. Angela was lying prostrate on her back watching the initial shapes mold into new ones. Her lips still tingled slightly where Jordan had kissed her. <em>He's right there - on the other side of that wall. Why did I make him sleep on the couch? Because I'm too proud… too stubborn… too scared? <em>The alarm clock beside her cast an irritating red glow over her pillow; it was taunting her & indicating that it was now close to four in the morning. She rolled over in protest and squeezed her eyes shut tight hoping to force herself to sleep. When that clearly wasn't working, Angela threw back the covers in aggravation and slipped quietly out of her bedroom door.

Jordan lay on the couch with his arms folded behind his head. Through the window behind him, he could see the full face of the moon. Its soft silver glow hung about the living room. He tried to tell himself that this was the reason that he couldn't sleep, not the fact that he was only separated from Angela Chase by plywood and drywall. He wasn't sure if it had been the poems, the photos, or all of the wine, but when she had caught him nosing about in her workroom he hadn't been able to stop himself from drawing her to him and swallowing any of her resignations. He could still feel her phantom shape pressed against him. As Jordan delicately ran his tongue over his bottom lip testing to see if there was any taste of Angela left on him, he heard the old floor boards creak in the hall. _This is it. She changed her mind. She's coming to me. Maybe I didn't have to work so hard to lure in her in after all…_ he thought surely to himself as he watched the doorway from the hallway intently. The moments dragged on, yet no shadowy figure appeared. Jordan heard another creaking floorboard and then the soft latch of a door. He realized that the living room was not her final destination and thought disappointedly: _Damn. Serves me right for getting my hopes up._

Three paces down the hall and she stopped herself. Jordan would be there in the morning. There was no need to jump him on the couch. What kind of mixed message would that send? _First I say no, then I say yes_…_ No. I have to stand my ground_. _ We are not kids anymore; the physical force of Jordan Catalano no longer rules my universe. _She turned and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind her. Angela gripped the sides of the sink and stared at her drowsy reflection in the mirror. _Who does he think he is, just showing up at my door and expecting me to fall in love with him all over again? Maybe he forgot about the part where he ripped my heart out and left it bleeding in the streets of Three Rivers. _After resolving herself to not fall hopelessly into the arms of Jordan Catalano, albeit knowing in the end this would prove useless, she splashed her face with cold water and tip toed back down the hall to her bedroom.

After a brief and fitful sleep Angela crawled out of bed around eight thirty. The breeze spilling through her open window told her that the temperature that morning was cooler than it had been in weeks. From being cooped up in her apartment due to the flu, her body felt sluggish and foreign. She knew she had to shake it and a morning run was the quickest way to do so. Angela grabbed a pair of navy cotton shorts out of her closet and laced up her orange PUMA running shoes. Her plan was to sneak out the back door on to the deck to keep from waking Jordan. Before heading out she decided to grab a drink of water and hydrate herself a bit. Standing at the counter in the kitchen, Angela had a clear line of vision on Jordan snuggled up on her couch. However, he wasn't alone. She had to keep herself from laughing at loud when she saw that he was spooning with Indiana. The dog must have snuck out from her bedroom last night and curled up on the couch with Jordan. They were both lying on their sides, and Jordan's arm was draped lazily over the dog. _He is charming even when he isn't trying. I'm not going to survive this weekend._ Angela finished her glass of water and turned to exit the kitchen. In doing so, she crashed right into the small wooden table, sending the four empty wine bottles crashing loudly to the floor. Jordan sat up instantly like someone had poked him with a cattle prod. He took a moment to assess his surroundings and remember where he was. Indiana had taken advantage of the vacated couch cushion to stretch out more comfortably.

Through the arch way, Jordan could see Angela standing in the kitchen with broken green glass sparkling around her feet.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I was just heading out for a run… and apparently forgot this table was here." She grabbed the broom and dustpan from the corner of the room. Bending down to sweep up the mess, she muttered to herself, "Stupid, clumsy Angela…"

"Oh it's fine. I was awake." Jordan said as he scratched the disheveled hair on his head.

"Liar. You were all snuggled with Indi, sound asleep - snoring."

"Now who's lying? I don't snore." Jordan looked back at the dog on the couch. The look Indiana was giving him said _Oh yes you do. _"Want some company on your run?"

"Um.. yeah sure. You can change while I clean this up."

Jordan grabbed the duffel bag that he had brought with him. He rummaged through it grabbing a pair of shorts and a different t-shirt. His sneakers were by the backdoor. With his back to the kitchen he dropped the jeans he had slept in to the floor. Stepping into his shorts proved a bit difficult since he was still slightly groggy from not getting much sleep. He had to hop around in a circle on one foot before he managed to get them on and the drawstring tied around his trim waste. He decided just to put on the shirt he had worn yesterday instead of a clean one, since it was just going to get sweaty anyway. _What am I doing? I don't run. – It can't be that bad. I'm in pretty good shape, for the most part. It's not like we're running a marathon or anything._ Jordan battled with himself shortly before turning around to find Angela standing in the kitchen staring at him. He was still holding his t-shirt in his hands. Jordan saw a flash of hunger and want in her eyes before she blinked it away.

"Oh. I guess I assumed you would go change in the bathroom." Angela's face was turning a slight shade of pink when she realized Jordan had caught her watching him. _Jordan Catalano standing nearly naked in my living room, and he expects me not to look. Yeah right, pal._

"Ready?"

They had been jogging for about twenty minutes when Jordan started to realize that this might not have been the greatest idea. He couldn't just stop and go back; he'd look like a fool in front of her. But the cramping pain in his side was becoming more and more pronounced with every foot fall. Their route had taken them up through some of the larger subdivisions. The section of the city Angela lived in, being on the outskirts, had been developed with a small town type of feel. She could enjoy all the luxuries of city life just minutes away, but was separated from the majority of it by a small lake. Jordan noticed that the sidewalk they were running along now had a slight incline. The slightness of it eventually faded and became a very definite incline just yards ahead. Angela could hear Jordan's labored breathing beside her. She had veered off her regular running course and decided that she wasn't going to make him suffer much longer. _He clearly isn't a runner. So Mr. Catalano can't do it all. Hah._

"Don't worry. The finish line is just up at the top of this hill. I promise." Angela said and smiled as she started running faster ahead of Jordan. He was torn between exerting himself more to keep up or saving himself by lagging behind. He chose the latter, mainly because it offered up a much better view. Even though the temperature was breaking 80 degrees and the sun was constant, Angela had barely broken a sweat. He could see a small darkened circle at the base of her tank top. He however, was beyond sweaty and was dripping profusely. He had to constantly wipe his forehead to keep the sweat from stinging his eyes. Despite his growing physical agony, Jordan reveled in the barely there length of Angela's running shorts. Running was obviously something she did regularly. He could tell by the lean muscles that stretched up her slender thighs and her cut calves. A vision of those legs wrapped around him flashed through his head and he stumbled a bit. The heat and exertion was getting to him.

Thankfully, they had reached the top of the hill. Angela stopped abruptly in front of a large Victorian style house. It was at least three stories with giant picture windows on every level. A wraparound porch hugged the east, south, and west facing facades. At first glance the house was magnificent, but as Jordan stood catching his breath he took in some of the more minor details. The pale blue paint was chipping everywhere. The porch was unlevel; the right side having sunk over the last 100 or so years. Some of the windows were boarded up, while others had large spider web cracks on them. The house was undeniably beautiful, but it was in dire need for some affection.

"This is the Weatherby Manor. It's my favorite house in the city. Isn't she just breathtaking?" Angela pulled her foot up behind her to stretch her hamstring as Jordan craned his neck upwards taking in the whole breadth of the architecture. "Follow me. I want to show you something else." She darted around the side of the house and nimbly climbed over a small black iron gate.

The back yard of the house encompassed a large sloping hill that ended at the lake. There was a small dock at the base of the lawn. Jordan had traveled to plenty of places around the country and even beyond its borders, but he had to admit that the view from where he was standing was quite lovely. Who had ever originally built the house had been smart enough to keep a blockade of trees between them and the nearest neighbor. In doing so, the lake looked like private barrier, keeping the city at bay.

"Do you know the people who…" Jordan's voice trailed off when he saw Angela slip off her sneakers and take off in a sprint down the hill. Without thinking he bolted after her. She bounced over the warped boards of the dock and dove gracefully into the calm fresh water. Jordan reached the dock moments after she did. He stopped, remembering that he still had his shoes on. He tore them off his feet, as well as the shirt off his back and followed her in. The water was a cool, welcome refreshment after the jog he'd just suffered through. Angela's head bobbed above the surface of the water just a few feet from him.

"Now, isn't this worth all that trouble getting up here?" She said as treaded water and smiled gleefully in his direction.

At that very moment Jordan realized he was the happiest he had been in a long time. He felt no pressure or obligation, he was sublimely happy. Angela's green eyes glimmering across the water at him only helped to magnify his current elated state. The redundant notion struck him again that he had been so foolish in keeping his distance from her for so many years. Jordan thought to himself: _Yes. Getting **here** was most definitely worth every ounce of trouble_.

"Do you know the people who live here? Aren't we trespassing?" Jordan looked back at the house, which stood upon the hill magnificently, like a benevolent and stoic god.

"What's wrong Catalano? Did you get soft in your old age?" Angela's voice twinkled with laughter as she floated effortlessly towards him. "Weren't you the one who tried to jumpstart my breaking and entering endeavors… the house on Cloverdale – with all of those bedrooms."

She was inches away from him. He could feel the ripples of her movements in the water flowing all around him. As she jeered him, Jordan reached his arm around her waist and pulled her close. "First of all, I'm not old. I'm only in my twenties. Secondly, I never intended to do any breaking…" he protested and then his voice dipped into a dangerous husky whisper "just, entering."

And with that she draped her arms around his shoulders and covered his mouth with hers. Jordan felt her legs latch on to him as he slipped his tongue between her lips. They were both so engrossed by the other presences that they failed to notice the quick decline in their buoyancy. They began to sink gradually. After they had completely used up each other's oxygen their lips parted and found no air, only water. Jordan and Angela both quickly sputtered to the surface.

"Why does that always look so much easier in the movies?" Angela choked out once she finally regained her breath.

"Are you trying to kill me Chase?" Jordan heckled her. He retained his hold on her waist, but was mindful to keep them both afloat this time. After a few more subdued kisses, they drifted towards the dock. Jordan pulled himself up onto the wooden planks and then lifted Angela out of the water by her arms.

Once they had both stepped off the dock and on to the soft lawn of the manor Angela said, "I don't know who lives here. Technically it's owned by someone since it hasn't been foreclosed on. But I've been by here on plenty of late nights and evenings and there aren't ever any lights on. Plus, you saw all of the busted out windows right? Weird thing is though… the lawn is always mowed. I've asked the neighbors and they said a family used to live here. There was some sort of tragedy and they just sort of faded from society. No one knows if they moved away or what."

They'd trudged back up the sloping lawn, a much more difficult trip than the jaunt down it. Angela finished her story and flopped down on the grass. She stretched out her limbs, and Jordan thought she looked a bit like a soggy starfish. Her clothes were still drenched from their swim and were clinging to her body like a second skin.

"I don't believe it. People probably just spread the story that the family is still living her too keep punks from vandalizing it. One of the neighbors probably mows the lawn to keep up appearances." Jordan turned his back to Angela and surveyed the widows at the back of the house again. He thought he saw a slight flutter of a curtain, but then erased it from his mind. "Besides if there was someone in there I'm sure they'd be out here telling us to get out of their yard by now."

"Nah. I do this every Saturday when the sun is out. Lay here and let my clothes dry a bit before making my way back home." Angela shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand. Jordan was looking in the opposite direction. She noticed a tattoo on his right shoulder blade, something she had missed while she gawked at him changing clothes earlier. It was small and the lines were very delicate. Jordan took a seat on the grass to the left of her. She sat up to get a better look at his tattoo. She lightly traced the outline – a bird. Angela thought she recognized it, but she couldn't be sure.

Before she could ask, Jordan said, "A Nightingale… for my mom. She was the one who told me all of those Greek myths. The one about Procne was her favorite. She always had a thing for drama." Jordan smiled as he thought about some of his mother's antics from when he was younger. Having over the top arguments with his father generally resulting in broken furniture, always running around the house in a silk magenta dressing gown, getting so wrapped up the soap operas on television that you had to shut the set off to get her attention. The worst was when she would get in her theatrical kicks. When he was 10, he had broken his collar bone and had to stay home from school for a week. She made him read the lines of Shakespearean plays with her. He hated doing it, partly because they didn't interest him, but mainly because he stumbled and stammered over all of the words, never even knowing what they meant. She didn't even notice Jordan's difficulty with the text, or didn't care. At the time he had found her annoying, but looking back he knew there would never be another Minni Catalano, faults and all. "She passed away two years ago. I got it to remind me of her."

Instead of asking about his mother, whom Angela had never heard him mention a word about, she just leaned over and gently kissed the sketch of the bird on his shoulder. The sensation of Angela's lips on his skin drew Jordan away from the memories of his mother. He tilted his face down and met her lips. He was thankful that she didn't ask any questions. She had always been able to tell when he could be pressed to talk about something and when he needed to be silent. They were both satisfied in the simplicity of the moment, just being able to sit with each other and not have to worry about anything else. It was a freedom rarely granted to either. Angela and Jordan reclined on the green lawn and lazily watched as the billowy clouds promenaded across the cerulean sky.

After their arrival back at the apartment, Angela suggested that they just vegged out for a while. She knew taking Jordan anywhere in public might brew up some sort of logistics problem. She was hardly cut out for crowd control if they got mobbed on the street corner. Jordan had no problem with this idea since he didn't really care much to see the city; he was content just to be able to spend time with her. In fact, a day without any pressing engagements wasn't something he experience often. Since the weather was ideal, they both grabbed a book of Angela's bookshelf and hunkered down on to the cushioned bench on the deck.

Before they knew it the day had passed and shadows of the trees were growing longer. They made a quick dinner from the left over produce that Jordan had purchased yesterday and whatever odds and ends Angela had in her apartment. Angela stood up to clear off the dishes from the table when she heard an unfamiliar, shrill ringing. The sound was coming from Jordan's pocket, but he was looking away like he didn't hear it.

"You don't have to ignore your phone. I haven't seen you answer it once since you've been here and there is no way that's the first call you've received. Go ahead. I'll take the dishes inside." Angela paused on the inner side of the screen door so she could eaves drop on Jordan's conversation. She couldn't help but be curious as to who he was talking to.

"… No I'm not in New York. I never told you for sure that I was coming back between the sections of the tour. … Well something important came up... No. It isn't any of your business." Jordan was pacing back and forth across the deck. He was trying to keep his voice low so Angela wouldn't hear him arguing, he knew it would only spark her assumptions. The day had been perfect so far and he didn't want something stupid to ruin it. "Look. I ended this when I left New York, I'm sorry if it wasn't clear enough. I have to go."

Angela had heard enough, and she instinctually knew that it was a woman on the other side of that telephone call. Jordan wouldn't have argued like that with one of his band mates or casual friends. All at once a whirlwind of emotions raged through her. First she felt jealous that he had been spending time with someone else, but she knew she had no right to since until twenty four hours ago he hadn't really been a part of her life. Then she felt happy that he seemed determined to distance himself from who ever had been on the phone, and that he didn't seemed pleased to hear from them. Next she felt foolish in her assumptions that this might be something important between her and Jordan, when he so easily disregarded whatever relationship he had been in before now. As she walked into the kitchen she tried to shake the overall sense of being overwhelmed. She didn't want a phone call, which she knew nothing about, to send her into a tizzy. She dropped the dishes in the sink and turned on the stereo. "Love You Madly" came to life within the speakers and she began to dance around as she washed their dirty plates.

Jordan stood on the porch for a few minutes collecting himself after he ended the phone call before he walked into the apartment. He found Angela standing at the sink swaying her hips to the trumpet and sturdy drum beats in the song.

"_I don't want to talk about it; I don't want to think about it. When I kiss your lips I want to sink down to the bottom of the sea." _ Jordan sang along with Jon McCrea's voice as he stepped into the kitchen. Angela turned around and smiled at him. She had somehow managed to soap suds stuck in her bangs. Jordan walked up and brushed them away. "Let me do these. You cooked dinner."

Grabbing a towel off the counter, Angela wiped off her hands and acquiesced to his request – allowing him to finish the dishes. She leaned against the counter to the right of him, thinking: _Don't fret about that phone call. It isn't important. You don't even know what is going to happen tomorrow, why bother worrying about anything right now. Just have fun with him and enjoy whatever time you have together. _But before she could stop herself she said, "Who was that on the phone?"

"Um. That was… a friend. From New York."

"Oh. Okay."

He could tell by her stunted answer that she had mulling over it in her head. And if he had learned one thing while they dated in high school it was not to let her start over thinking things. Jordan knew he had to put everything out in the open right now or risk some sort of confusion later on.

"Actually, it was a woman I had been dating before we left for tour. _Casually dating_." He emphasized as he dried off the last dish and set the towel down and moved to stand in front of Angela who was still leaning with her elbows propped against the counter and her feet set in a wide stance. Jordan stepped directly in her space and placed his hands on the counter on either side of her arms, his face hovering over hers. "When we left for tour I considered whatever was between us to be over. I haven't talked to her or thought about her in months."

He searched her eyes for understanding. But what reflected back at him was calm and cool.

"Jordan, whoever you were with before isn't any of my business. It's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to me." Angela tried to act nonchalant, but in actuality she wanted him to tell her that the woman on the phone meant nothing to him and that he would never speak to her again.

"I know I don't have to, but I think it's important that we discuss this… our situation." Now he ran his hands gently along the length of her bare arms. "I am going to have to leave tomorrow. My flight departs at 6 P.M. The guys are meeting me in Austin in four days to finish the second half of the tour and I still have to get back to New York to straighten out a few things. But I don't want you to think me coming here was something I did on a whim. It was like I was drawn here; I _had _to come see you and be with you again."

Jordan was scared to say how he was really feeling – that his heart had swelled once she opened her door to him, that he had never felt so happy, that he was terrified of getting on that plane, and that he would do whatever was in his power to figure out a way to be with her. He started into her eyes, hoping that maybe it would pass between them without having to be said, but she just blinked questionably up at him. Angela lightly placed her hands on his hips had pulled him closer to her.

And before she realized what she was saying she heard herself say the words out loud, "How many women have you slept with?"

"Jesus Angela. I don't know." He backed away from her slowly, running his hand through his dark hair. "My fair share. What about you? Were you dating someone before I showed up on your doorstep?"

"No. Not really… no one worth a damn." She looked at the floor and kicked at some cilantro leaves that had fallen off the cutting board and speckled the hardwood floor. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to be rude. It's just that I don't know anything about your life. I mean I've seen photos of you in of those tabloids, with plenty of beautiful famous women. It's hard not for me to think about stuff like that."

She stepped forward and placed her hand lightly on his shoulder because he had turned away from her. "It doesn't really matter to me. Well, on some level it does, but I'm not fooling myself about you being here. I don't expect this to turn into any huge romance. I know we live in different worlds… why don't we just try to have fun while you're here?" Angela said trying to fight back all of her insecurities and salvage the carefree attitude from before.

Turning to face her, Jordan rested his palms on either side of her face and locked eyes with Angela.

"I don't know what's going to happen after tomorrow. But I do know that right now I have nothing other than you on my mind and how right it feels to be with you."

An unsure look spread across her face, but Jordan quickly kissed it away. When she was finally convinced of his sincerity by means of his words and tongue, Angela said "They're playing _The Maltese Falcon_ for Movies in the Park tonight. Are you interested in going?"

The movie ran until after midnight. Jordan and Angela decided to walk over to her favorite local bar before heading home since the night was still moderately young. She had promised him a hole in the wall establishment with no frills, where it was almost guaranteed that no one would recognize him. The name painted on the awning above the door said The Creekbed. The bar was small and darkly lit. There was one pool table nestled in the back corner. There were a few high tops scattered around, but they were vacant. The only patrons at the bar were five old grey haired gentlemen wrapped in a conversation focusing on baseball or politics or both. Angela told Jordan to grab one of the open tables and she walked up to the bar.

"Hey Marv."

"Hello Beautiful. Haven't seen you in a couple of weeks. Thought you might have forgot about me." The man behind the bar teased as he caught sight of Jordan sitting on the barstool watching their interaction.

"Oh, I would never. I've been sick with the flu. Didn't want to come in here and infect you fine gents with my bug."

"Would you like your regular, darlin'?" Marv said as he nodded towards the bottle of Makers Mark on the shelf behind him.

"That'd be great. Two and make 'em neat."

Angela hopped up on the stool across from Jordan. She set the glass down in front of him. "So, what do you think of my local water hole?"

"It's top notch." He said playfully as he picked up the glass and smelled it. "I never would have pegged you for a whiskey girl."

"Seriously? Rayanne Graff was my best friend, remember?" She raised her glass. "To living in the moment, if Graff did one thing well it was that. And to living and loving fully without hesitation. No regrets"

"Cheers." Their glasses clinked and fiery liquid slid down their throats. Before Angela could shake away the burn of the alcohol and start a new conversation with Jordan, he hopped off his stool and sauntered up to the bar. She followed his lead, but instead decided to occupy the jukebox glowing in the corner.

"How can I help you young man?" Marv had slid away from his regulars to see what Jordan needed.

"Can I get that bottle of Makers?" Jordan asked sliding a couple bills across the bartop.

"Now, you wouldn't be planning on getting our Little Angela drunk now would you? Because I have to warn you, all of us here care a great deal about her and we'll be keeping our eyes on you."

"No sir. My intentions are honorable," _for the most part - _thought Jordan, "just figured it'd be easier than us coming up here bothering you for drinks every few minutes."

"Very well. And a word to the wise, she may look innocent, but careful that girl will drink you under the table. I've seen her hustle _plenty _of guys in here before." He joked, but could see a look of caution flare in Jordan's eyes.

"Marv! Why kind of lies are you telling my friend?" Angela shouted once she noticed the lengthy conversation Jordan was having with her favorite bartender.

"No lies, sweetheart. Just telling him to watch out for you and your wily ways," he set the bottle on the bar and nodded approvingly at Jordan.

"Thanks."

Angela and Jordan met back at their table. Jordan quickly refilled their glasses. They spent the next few hours drinking slowly and falling into the casual conversation style that had suited them when they were younger. After more than a few drinks Angela started to divulge all of her dating drama of the past few years. She told Jordan about every horrible date she could remember. She laughed so hard at all of her past relationship mishaps that tears were flowing down her cheeks. Jordan reached across the table to wipe them away with his thumb. She turned her face into the warmth of his hand.

The biting guitar melody that flowed from the jukebox and filled room caught Angela's attention. She had put in five dollars and had played two CDs in their entirety. This song, the last song she had chosen, was selected with knowing intention. Marv had allowed her to put a mix CD of anything she wanted into the jukebox, so she would be able to listen to something she liked whenever she came around. On nights when she anticipated having a few too many beverages and then stumbling home, she would pick this song as her final selection. She would dance by herself on the small parquet dance floor free of all her inhibitions until the music ended and then call it a night. Angela finished the whiskey in her glass and slipped off her stool without saying a word to Jordan. He watched her curiously as she stepped out in to the unoccupied area of the bar. He recognized the song she had played. Watching Angela sway and twist to the music in front of him, Jordan couldn't remember this song ever sounding so sexy. _I'm going to have to thank Dan for making this scene unfolding in front of me possible the next time I see him_- Jordan thought as he kept his eyes glued on Angela and gyrating her hips.

She had her eyes shut. She could feel the notes resonate through her body and they dictated her movements. Angela ran her hands up along the curve of her neck and ran her fingers through her hair, oblivious to the taunting affect this was having on Jordan seated only feet away. She mouthed the familiar lyrics:

_How you hurt me _

_Oh, how you caused me pain.  
><em>

_Well hurt like mine you could_

_You could never, never understand… _

_Never understand  
><em>

_I remember the tears were in my eyes _

_River town is burnin', the clouds they roll on by… _

_Roll on by _

Finally Jordan couldn't take it any longer. The movements of her body were beckoning to him. He departed his chair and let his feet carry him towards her. He could feel the music and the sensuality of it permeate his soul. Jordan quickly fell into perfect rhythm with Angela as he stepped behind her and pulled her backside flush to him. Feeling him pressed up against her Angela purposefully ground her ass into his midsection. She felt his ragged breath exhale across her neck. They stayed wrapped up in each other moving at the command of the song - unaware to everyone and everything else around them.

_She said, "I'm alright if you're hangin' on"_

_I'll be your shoulder, lay your troubles on… _

_Your troubles on_

The final verse ended but the rhythm pounded on. Jordan couldn't stop himself from pulling Angela closer to him. He ran his hands all over her body, completely lost to the driving current of the song and the feeling of her so close to him. He dipped his face down and let his lips come softly in contact with the smooth porcelain skin on her neck. At that moment the song came to a sudden halt, dumping them both back into the awareness of where they were. Angela spun quickly in Jordan's hands to face him. She knotted her hands in his shirt and pulled him desperately close.

"Take me home." Were the only three words she rasped before he grabbed her hand and led her immediately out the door of the tavern. They made quick of the distance to her apartment and before Jordan fully realized it they were once again standing in her kitchen.

Now back in her apartment Angela stood with her back slightly arched looking at the man who was dominating all of her senses. He was standing just inches away her, cruelly keeping his distance. The episode in the bar and made her blood rage with the dire need for him. She feared that if she didn't feel Jordan's hand on her skin and taste his mouth soon that she would simply die - cease to exist. Jordan took a small step toward her; he brushed the stray crimson strands of hair way from her begging eyes. And with no more hesitation his lips feasted on hers. All of the desire that had built up between them over the last thirty two hours had finally been unleashed.

Angela tugged furiously at the base of Jordan's shirt, pulling it over his head and shoulders quickly. She needed contact with his skin sans all barriers. Once she had freed him of his shirt she folded her arms behind his back and began exploring the vast expanses of epidermis across his chest and stomach with her mouth. She kissed, licked, sucked and nibbled at every inch of skin. For Jordan the feeling was the most pleasurable torture he'd ever endured. He quickly slipped her slender, tone arms out of the cream color cardigan she had been wearing over her favorite blue floral dress, leaving her shoulders bare to him. He nudged his face with hers and their lips met again and fused together. Angela happily opened her mouth to Jordan and felt as though he sucked the breath from her lungs. When they finally severed the connection, both breathed unevenly – deep breaths mixed with quick gasps for air. Angela took a step backwards and hopped herself up on to the kitchen counter. Jordan need no coercing and closed the gap between their bodies instantly, stationing himself securely between her knees. He pushed the hemline of her skirt up to her waist and ran his fingers over her inner thighs causing her to moan slightly.

Without thinking Angela twister her fingers through the lengths of Jordan's thick hair. She pulled down quickly drawing his lips away from hers unexpectedly. His eyes went wide at this sudden burst of aggression. Angela sat on the counter with Jordan's hair still wrapped around her fingers and his head bent backwards offering her full access to the skin run taunt along his neck. She sucked sweetly on his salty skin close to his Adam's Apple and then re-established eye contact with him for a few heart stopping seconds. Angela slowly released her grip on his hair, and licked up the length of Jordan's neck before once again meeting his mouth with hers.

Jordan had gone hard as soon as he felt the tension of her fingers in his hair. Clearly, Angela Chase did not want to play nicely tonight. He pressed his fingers into the smooth skin on her bare thigh. Angela countered by squeezing his hips between her knees and drawing him in closer to her. Jordan's hand traveled up her torso, over her breasts and finally coming to rest at the base of her neck. He cradled her head and kissed her deeply. She could feel his erection pressed into her leg; that combined with his tongue between her lips tangled with hers, Angela began to feel light headed. She moaned loudly and pushed Jordan off of her.

Jordan's face was painted with a look of utter confusion. He was breathing heavily and his jeans were becoming more and more restrictive. Angela slid off the kitchen counter, and when she walked past him he reached to grab her arm and pull her back to him. She shook off his hand and started to walk down the apartment hallway. Jordan stood completely perplexed in the kitchen alone. Angela got to the end of the hall, her figureform illuminated by the moonshine from the back window. With her back to him, she pulled her dress over her head - leaving her standing in the hallway with nothing but a pair of black lace underwear. Her next step brought her over the threshold over her bedroom.

Jordan had raced to her doorway and was next to her before she dropped her blue dress to the floor. He quickly lifted Angela off her feet. She wrapped her entire body around him. Now face to face again, they locked eyes. No words needed to be exchanged. Jordan walked to the bed and let her slide from his arms. He kissed her eagerly once more as her delicate fingers fumbled with the button and zipper on his jeans. Jordan stepped out of his denim confines as he followed Angela on to the bed. His lips left hers; he nipped at her neck and collar bone causing her to arch into him. Jordan grabbed her hips and aligned them with his. He pressed himself into her so she could tell just how much he wanted her. He was sure though if this teasing kept up much longer that his head would explode.

At that thought Jordan felt Angela run her nails down his back as she raked her teeth across his chest. He drew a breath in quickly. She then softly kissed her way back up his neck to the base of his ear; Jordan's fingers traced the lace wasteline of her panties. She whispered quietly into his ear "Take me, now."

He needed no further encouragement. Jordan rid himself and Angela of their last bit of clothing. He positioned himself between her legs and he knew that everything he had longed for over the last seven years was about to be quenched. At that inconvenient moment rational thought flooded his brain. He leaned away from her and started feeling around on the floor for his jeans, praying that he had a condom in his wallet.

Angela sat up quickly, trying to figure out what had distracted Jordan.

"What are you looking for?"

"My jeans… my wallet… I'm sure I have a condom in there, somewhere."

"Oh. Yeah. Right. Are you clean, have you been tested recently?"

"Yeah. Just last month, clean as a whistle."

"Me too. And I've been on the pill for years… sooo…"

Without having to finish her thought Jordan followed her line of thinking. He abandoned his search for pants and refocused his attentions on her. After the minor distraction, the heat and momentum between them reclaimed its peak.

Within the next instant he filled her completely and Angela was transported outside of herself. The things he was doing to her body were otherworldly. Before she knew it she was screaming his name as her release washed over her. Jordan followed her shortly and then collapsed with the sweat of their bodies beading together on their still tangled limbs. He kissed her mouth gently and rolled off to her side on the empty space on Angela's bed. Not wanting to be separated from him, she curled up next to Jordan and rested her head on his chest as his breathing slowed to a steady rhythm. They both drifted off to sleep easily due to the sheer exhaustion and sublime satisfaction.


	12. Chapter 12

**I own nothing... I realized I forgot to put an AN at the end of my last chapter. The song that Angela and Jordan listened to in the bar was Hurt Like Mine by the Black Keys (go figure...) and Angela was listening to Love You Madly by Cake in the kitchen. I had to break everyone's favorite couple out of their love bubble in this chapter though. Sooo sorry, but the life must move on. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you guys are thinking. Thanks! -K**

* * *

><p>He found it odd and irritating that the sun had already risen. Jordan thought that time should be standing still. Didn't the universe understand that he only had a handful of hours left to spend with Angela? Why couldn't it just slow things down for one goddamn minute? The sheets and blankets that adorned her bed were now tangled and twisted around their legs. His foot stuck out of the rumpled sea of grey cotton. Angela, who had fallen asleep in his arms, had drifted over to her own side of the bed. She lay on her stomach in an angelic slumber. Her hair was slightly ratted in areas, which caused Jordan to smirk knowing that he was the reason for her distressed tresses. She had rid herself of the blankets at sometime throughout the night, providing Jordan with the broad view of her shoulders. Her skin looked as smooth as satin and had an iridescent glow. Jordan reached over and ran his fingers lightly down the ridges of her spine, slowly pushing the remaining fabric that was covering Angela's body away. He stopped as the sheet floated to the top of her hips. Partly because he thought it might seem a little creepy if she woke up and found that he had uncovered her naked body to stare at it, but mainly because he was surprised to find a large tattoo that started on her left hip and stretched across her lower back to the right side of her rib cage. He couldn't believe that he had missed this body art when Angela had rid herself of her clothing the night before. However, he had been completely consumed by a storm of lust and desire, so his oversight was mostly excusable.<p>

On Angela's hip there was a small sketch of a mature dandelion in its end stage; Jordan was surprised how slight and delicate the ink markings were – creating the fuzzy cotton ball image. There was a string of seedling parachutes that drifted away from the flower across her back. Each one was small and intricately detailed. As the art reached the opposite side of Angela's back, the seedlings turned into silhouettes of birds; building into a larger flock which speckled the lower region of her rib cage on her right side.

Angela had been sleeping with her head turned in facing Jordan. At the touch of his fingers on her skin Angela's eyes fluttered open, yet she remained completely still. Jordan had propped himself up on his elbow to get a better look at the details inked on to her skin. She lay watching him as he inspected her and just barely ran his fingers across the path of the birds.

"It's for Rayanne." Angela said. Her voice sounded raspy; she blamed all that bourbon from the night before. "It helps me to remember that even though she's gone, she's still here… just in a different way. She's always with me."

Jordan leaned down and kissed the various ink covered areas on Angela's lower back. She smiled as she felt the rough scratch of his whiskers scrape along her bare skin. His hand glided over her back and came to rest on hip, tugging her closer to him.

"It's beautiful. Graft would be honored." He brushed her cheek with his rough fingers and kissed her softly. Angela let her fingers dance across the bare skin of Jordan's torso.

"I like that we both have tattoos of birds in memory of people that we've loved and lost." She rolled over on to her back and stared absentmindedly at the ceiling. Jordan's hand now rested comfortably on her abdomen, he couldn't be so close to her and not touch her in some affectionate way.

"Great minds think a like…" Jordan whispered into her ear and then playfully tugged on her earlobe with his teeth.

"Oh yeah? Then what am I thinking right now?"

"You're thinking about how amazing last night was. And that you hoping to continue on where we left off…"

Jordan's voice trailed off as he slid his body on top of hers. The weight of him caused Angela to sink into the down topping of her mattress. Her smile broadened. She could not possibly imagine a better way of waking up.

"That was exactly what I was thinking." Angela purred as she ran her fingers down his spine now making his skin tingle.

Their movements were slow and delicate. The frantic rush and fiery need of last night had left them. They were both in the consensus that if they took their time, maybe the world would spin a little slower and allow them a few more minutes together on this perfect morning.

It was close to ten thirty by the time they both willing to leave the sanctuary of her bed. Angela skipped around the room grabbing up random garments to cover herself. Sure, she had just been naked in bed with Jordan, but she wasn't quite comfortable enough to strut around her bedroom without a stitch of clothing on.

"I'm just going to hop into the shower real quick. Won't take me long, then we can take Indi to the park and grab some coffee." She backed out of her bedroom in the direction of the bathroom.

"Hey Ang," Jordan hollered from where he was still seated on the bed with the sheet draped across his lap.

She peaked her head back around the door frame. "Yeah?"

"I'm not the only one who snores…" he said as he tossed a pillow at her.

"Hah hah, Catalano. Aren't you funny." Angela pushed the door closed behind her, not bothering to latch or lock it; she didn't plan on spending too much time in the shower. She pulled back the curtain and stepped into the warm water as it rained down on her. After a few seconds she heard the door creak open.

"Indiana, don't you dare drink out of that toilet!" she shouted as she pushed the shower curtain back briskly. Instead of finding her dog, Angela was met with a very naked Jordan Catalano standing wide eyed right in front of her.

"I promise I won't drink out of the toilet… but is it okay if I join you? I'm a firm believer in water conservation." He said with a chuckle as he stepped over the side of the tub and followed Angela under the steady stream of water falling from the shower head. Ironically, since they couldn't keep their hands off each other, the shower lasted twice as long as it would have for them to shower separately. Water conservation be damned.

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><p>Déjà vu – already seen. Shane felt like his life was on repeat. It was just weeks ago that he had gone through this same scenario, except this time the tables were turned. They were still being separated, and no matter who was boarding the flight, it didn't make him feel any better.<p>

"Are you sure you can't come with me again? Didn't you have fun on tour? I thought you liked getting to visit a different city every night." Shane complained as Sharon walked a step ahead of him, practically dragging him by the hand through the airport. He was towing his luggage behind them like a sad little caboose.

"Shane. Stop it. We already discussed all this. Yes, I would love to come with you, but I have a life here that I can't put on hold any longer. I used up all of my holiday when I was with you before. You don't want me to lose my job, do you?" This was hard enough as it was, Sharon had spent the last twelve hours arguing with herself whether to drop everything and get back on that bus with Shane or to stay in Chicago and figure things out with him when his tour ended.

"Of course I don't want you to lose your job. But what I'm saying is that I could totally provide for both of us." They had stopped in front of the kiosk with a dozen screens dictating what flight was leaving from which terminal. He stepped up next to her and draped his arm around her back, letting his hand sit precariously low on her waist. He decided to deployed his final tactic to get her to come with him. Shane leaned in to whisper in her ear, letting his lips graze the skin on her neck as he said, "Maybe you could go on... what do you call it… hia-something."

"Hiatus." Sharon breathed in deeply and composed herself. "And no. I'm so far behind with all of my clients. I like my job Shane, I don't want to give it up." Sharon pretended like she was impervious to his attempts, but she knew if he kept his lips anywhere near her skin for a minute longer she'd be boarding that plane with him. "You're leaving from terminal J. Now hop to it Jones." She took off at a quickened pace towards the waiting area. Shane stood pouting for a moment, and then sprinted after Sharon. When he caught up to her he grabbed her hand, entwining his fingers with hers. If they were going to be apart for the two month or so he was going to make the most of the last few minutes together.

"Why don't we check my bags and then see if we can't find a bathroom or something…" Shane said with a devious smile.

"You just used the bathroom before we left my apartment. I told you not to drink all that coffee this morning." Sharon glanced at him questioningly and then saw the smile that had spread across his face which gave away his true intentions. "Ohhhhh… okay. In that case, yes please - preferably a private restroom, with a lock, so I can give you something to remember me by while you're stuck on that bus for the next few weeks." She playfully squeezed his ass before turning and leading him off to the baggage check area.

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><p>Their coffee cups had long since been emptied, but Angela and Jordan still sat fixed on the park bench. It was another lovely afternoon; they were content to spend the majority of it enjoying the ideal weather and the last few moments of each other's company. Indiana, however, was not so fond of sitting idly by when there where trees to sniff or balls to fetch, he tugged on his leash indicating that they had been stationary long enough.<p>

"It's getting close to three o'clock. We should probably head back and get you over to the airport." Angela's apartment was only a few miles away from the city's airport. Thankfully it was large enough to have flights straight through to JFK International Airport, so Jordan wouldn't have to hassle with any connecting flights. As Jordan stood up he grabbed Angela's purse off the side of the bench to hand to her.

"I can't believe you still have this bag." He looked at the floral cloth purse that he remembered Angela showing him after Tino's party. A memory sparked his brain – she had kept his green guitar pick in the secret pocket. He wondered if she still had the momento.

"So, are you still carrying around my old guitar pick? Or do you have bigger and better treasures stowed away in the secret pocket in here now?" Jordan asked as he held the bag out to her.

"How did you know I had that pick?" Angela asked lopping the purse straps over her shoulder.

"That night we walked home from Tino's party… before I left for New York… you showed me you sewing skills. And when you showed me the zipper I saw my pick in there. I didn't really need it.. so I figured I'd just let you keep it." Jordan said as Angela stopped on the sidewalk in front of him. She took her bag off her shoulder and opened up the interior. She folded back the cloth and pulled down on the small hidden zipper. In the secret pocket there was indeed an old green guitar pick. Jordan saw that it wasn't the sole occupant of the compartment. He reached into the bag and pulled out a dark leather cord.

"Hah. You kept this all these years too? I'm flattered." Jordan said as he tucked the old leather necklace back into the pocket and zipped it back up. He put his arms around Angela's shoulders and pulled her close to him, kissing the top of her head.

"Yeah.. I know it's kind of weird, but it was like having a little bit of you with me. I never told anyone that I had them. My little secret." Angela beamed as they turned and started walking again. This with their hands linking them together.

They walked backed to Angela's at a slackened pace, knowing that once they left the apartment it again would mean an indefinite separation between them. Halfway back Jordan began to hear murmurs and giggles that were all too familiar to him. He bent down and said softly into Angela's ear, "Don't look now, but I think our cover is blown."

Ignoring his suggestion, Angela turned her head quickly to see just what he was talking about. About ten feet behind them on the sidewalk was a group of six teen age girls huddled together trying to figure out if it could really be _the Jordan Catalano_ walking down the sidewalk in their no-name town holding hands with some random red haired woman.

"Don't leave your fans wanting, Catalano. Give the ladies what they want." Angela said with a smile as she stopped. Jordan squinted at her in mock disapproval and then turned around to introduce himself to the cluster that was trailing behind them. There was an outburst of a strange mix of sounds, something between squealing and screeching. Angela was happy again to see how he interacted with his fans. Again, he was gracious and attentive, he asked every last one of them their names, took group and individual pictures. About twenty minutes later they parted ways from the fans and walked back the apartment.

It took Jordan just a few minutes to toss the items he a brought with him back into his duffle bag. He'd hoped it would have taken longer, anything to deter leaving her again. After he finished up packing he realized that he didn't have a way to the airport; the logistics of the situation had been over looked. Angela hadn't mentioned having a car, so he assumed he would need to call a cab to pick him up.

"Ang, where's your phone book? I need to call a cab." He shouted down the hall. She had disappeared a few minutes ago into one of the doorways on the other side of the apartment.

"Don't worry about it. I'll get you to the airport. What kind of hostess would I be if I sent you off to the airport in a cab by yourself without a proper farewell?" She said as she walked into the living room to find Jordan sitting on the couch with Indi leaning up against him. _God, this is really going to suck... having to say goodbye to him again. Does this ever get any easier? -_ Angela thought to herself as she looked at the two of them cozied up together on the couch.

They left Angela's apartment and walked down three flights of stairs to the lowest level of the building. Jordan had failed to notice the garage door when he had arrived two days ago.

"This is the complex's storage space. I winter my road bicycle down here and it's where the other tenants keep their odds and ends." There were a few old dressers, a beat up foosball table, mountains of cardboard boxes, and even an old brass coat rack. Angela walked over to a lumpy canvas tarp and pulled it away to reveal a small black moped.

"You're chariot, good sir." She said with a playful grin.

"This is yours? You actually think we're both going to fit on this thing?" The bike was small and looked fairly antiquated. "I think it'd be better if we just called a cab…"

"Oh, you're such baby, Catalano. I cart Char and me around on this thing all the time. Besides, it's all city driving between here and the airport, we're not going to need to go over 35 mph." Angela grabbed the handle bars and started to wheel the moped out of the garage. She took the helmet off the seat and flung her leg over the other side of the bike. "There's another helmet behind you. Grab it and let's go. I'm not going to be responsible for you missing your flight."

Jordan looked at her slightly in disbelief, but he had to admit, he quite liked being bossed around by Angela Chase. He grabbed the spare helmet and tossed his duffle bag over his shoulder. Jordan squeezed on to the moped behind Angela and gripped her waist tightly.

"Please don't kill me. My record company and a large portion of the female population of the western United States would probably hunt you down and seek revenge."

"Ugghh. We're going to have to work on that ego of yours. Hold on tight." Angela kicked the start pedal and they set off through the city streets.

Not many people were catching out going flights on that Sunday evening, which meant that Angela and Jordan didn't have to deal with any crowds or other annoyances. Checking in for his flight took mere minutes and since he only had the small duffle bag as carry on, he had no need to check his luggage. They found the terminal for his flight and took a seat in the waiting area. Jordan was nervously running his fingers over Angela's knuckles with one hand while he held it with the other.

Not being able to stand the silence, Angela started, "Soo…" Jordan made no motion to look at her. He was caught up in his own head about what he should do next. He thought about asking her to come with him, but didn't think she would. Especially now, just minutes before his flight left. He regretted not asking her about this before they left her apartment.

"Is this it?" Jordan blurted out.

"Is what it?" Angela wasn't sure what Jordan was asking her.

"Does this end here for us, in this airport? I mean, I know I don't want it to… but I'm not really sure what you think about the whole situation." Jordan was talking so quickly. He had let go of her hand and was now nibbling on his thumbnail. The reemergence of this habit, combined with Jordan's obvious insecurities as to how Angela felt for him, made her chest ache. She spun in her seat to face him, grabbing both of his hands and pulling them close to her.

"This had better not be it for us. You show up on my door step and make me fall for you all over again. I am happier now than I have been in years. You think I'm just going to let you walk out of my life? Sure it's going to be hard for us living in different cities and all but," Angela was cut off mid sentence as Jordan's face rushed forward to meet her lips. He was so happy to hear that she wanted to try and make this work that he couldn't help himself. Jordan kissed her deeply; he would rather leaver her with that kiss, than some sort of stunted attempt at a verbal goodbye. After a few minutes and a handful of awkward stares from other people waiting for their flights, Jordan parted his mouth from hers.

"The rest of this tour will only last another seven weeks. After that we're set to renegotiate our contract with the record company, so that means we'll have time off to do any new recording." Angela sat quietly as she watched Jordan's face light up as he mapped out how this could work between them in the future. "I mean, I'm not saying that I don't want to talk to you until the tour is over. Actually… now that I think about it, I don't even know your phone number."

They exchanged cell phone numbers and Angela gave him her home phone number, because she explained that she hardly ever used her cell phone… she considered it more of an emergency option. He promised that he'd try to call every day. Angela knew that this was being a bit over zealous, but she was flattered by his enthusiasm. Jordan's flight was called to board and they both walked over to the boarding gate. Angela wrapped her arms around him and held on tightly. Even though she knew this was just a momentary lapse in the continuation of their story, right now it felt pretty final.

"Call me when you land in New York?" She said into his chest, not daring looking at his face for fear that she might lose her composure and break down in his arms.

"Of course." Jordan pulled her chin up and kissed her slowly. And then he folded his arms around her shoulders and pulled her as close to him as he possibly could. The overhead speaker beckoned that it was the final moments to board his flight. He kissed the top of Angela's head and said, "Okay Red. I've got to get on that plane or you'll be stuck with me forever."

"That doesn't sound so bad…" Angela rasped as she wiped the tears off her cheek. "I'll miss you."

He kissed her again chastely and then walked through the boarding gate. Angela stood unable to move away from the large window until Jordan's plane was just a small fuzzy dot in the sky. She began the lonely trek back to her apartment.

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><p>She stood all alone in a completely empty parking lot - large, glittery and looming. Jordan looked at the familiar sight of Residue's tour bus, who had been christened Old Edna four years ago, with love and slight contempt. He had spent countless nights on her, and had made plenty of wonderful memories on the road with his best friends, but the idea of being cooped up on that bus for another seven weeks was pretty overwhelming. Shane had arrived just moments after Jordan. He paid his cab driver, unloaded his luggage and walked over to meet his lifelong friend. He gently rested his hand on Jordan's shoulder.<p>

"Ready for another round bro?" Shane proposed with a sleepy smile. It was early; the sun had yet to break the horizon. Nevertheless, the Texas morning was already stiflingly warm. Jordan felt choked by the dry heat surrounding him. He grabbed his bags and they two friends ambled across the parking lot to head out on another adventure.

Jordan brewed a pot of coffee. He doled out rich, warm mugs to his band mates that all sat around the table. He was happy to see their faces again. Although he had enjoyed his mini vacation, Jordan took comfort in the familiarity of this setting. They took turns recounting how they had spent their days apart.

Chandler and Eli had flown immediately back New York City after the show in Kansas City. They spent seven days sleeping and seven nights partying at their favorite NYC hotspots. Both men agreed that it was nice to not have any type of schedule to be restrained to and how wonderful it felt to sleep in their own beds, not those tiny little bunks they were sentenced to for the next few weeks.

Shane told the other two band mates about how he and Jordan had caught the Engine Down and The Life and Times show. He spent close to fifteen minutes trying to articulate what it felt like to be there. Finally coming to the conclusion that it just wasn't something you could put into words. He finished by saying he had spent the rest of his time off just lounging around his apartment. Jordan gave him a knowing glance over the top of his sunglasses, but he said nothing to give away his friend's true whereabouts. The foursome sat in silence as they waited for Jordan to offer up some hint as to what he had occupied himself with while they were all apart. But after a few minutes of silence, they knew they were just wasting time. If Jordan wanted to tell them what he'd been doing – he would, however, if he wasn't interested in sharing his secrets, then waiting on him was a lost cause.

"Well we're going to go unpack and probably start an epic Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4 tourney. If you need us, you know where to find us." Eli said as he and Chandler stood up and walked towards the back portion of the bus.

Jordan turned sideways to stretch his legs out on the now spacious table bench.

"So, you spent the time off just hanging around your apartment, did you?" He said as he flipped the pages of Rolling Stone inattentively.

"Whatever. Those guys didn't want to hear about how I spent half of the week wrapped up in Cherski. Considering that they spent most of the time she was on the bus chiding me about whipped." Shane nudged the puddle of coffee that had spilled from his cup with his finger. "Anyway. I'm pretty sure that's over and done with. We had our fun… tried to play house and it just isn't going to work." He said dejectedly, causing Jordan to look up from his magazine and remove his sunglasses.

"Whoa. I thought you were really into her. You're just going to give up on it like that?"

"I don't know. I asked – no, practically begged for her to come on tour with me again… but she refused. Apparently her job is just toooo important. Turns out, I was way more into her than she was to me." Shane's voice dripped with derision, but Jordan knew that he was just hurt because he felt abandoned. He wasn't sure how to comfort his friend without crowding him, so he nodded like he understood what Shane was going through.

"But whatever man. Fuck it. I'm sure I'll meet a million other Cherski's on this leg of the tour." Shane finished the last of the coffee in his cup and set it down a little too forcefully on the table, rattling the other empty mugs and spoons.

"Are you going to tell me where you were, Mr. MIA?" Shane looked across the table at his friend expectantly. The other guys in the band might not have felt comfortable questioning Catalano, but because of their long history, Shane never felt band pressing his friend for information, even if he knew it would irritate him. "I called your apartment a few times and never got an answer. Then I ran into Jonesie at the deli and she told me that she had finally gotten a hold of you after four days, and you said you weren't even coming back to NYC before starting this part of the tour. She was pretty pissed, maybe it's a good thing you didn't get back to the city to see her. Hah."

"I was in Michigan. It was the best three days that I've had in a very long time. I don't think I've ever been this happy man." As he said that, Jordan's phone ran quietly in his pocket. He picked it up and answered. Shane tried to play off that he was eavesdropping, but he was curious as to who could have caused his friend's mood to do such a one eighty in such a short amount of time.

"Yeah. We're on the bus. Old Edna just pulled out of the parking lot a few minutes ago. No, my flight was fine. We're playing in San Antonio tomorrow. Okay, have a good day at work. I'll call you later tonight. Miss you too." And with that Jordan clicked off his phone and set it back down on the table.

"Okay. Spill it. Who are you and what have you done with my best friend Jordan Catalano?"

"Two words... Angela Chase. After we parted ways in Missouri, I flew in to Michigan to surprise her." Jordan was smiling contently to himself as his brain flashed through the happy memories of this past weekend. "It was amazing. Like after seven years of spinning my wheels, something finally feels right. We agreed to try and work on being together even though I'm on tour right now. I know it's going to be tough, but she's totally worth it man."

"I'm happy for you. I just hope you know what you're doing. I don't think I could handle seeing you depressed again like you were after you two spilt up the first time." Shane stood up and gathered the empty mugs and placed them in the sink. "I think I'm going to go take a nap before we get into San Antonio."

Jordan could tell his friend more upset about Cherski than he led on, but he wasn't about to let Shane's sour mood rain on his new sunny disposition. He sat in silence in the now empty living quarters of the bus, listening to the hum of the tires over the asphalt as Edna hurdled them towards a new city and another group of awaiting fans.

* * *

><p>Angela heard the click of the answering machine just as she walked through the back door into the dining room of her apartment. She had stopped at the farmer's market on the way home to pick up a few things, and in doing so had been a bit late to catch Jordan's daily phone call. She was sure that things were proceeding as usual on tour, so she didn't rush to listen to the message or call him back. Instead she washed her produce and put it all in the proper bins. Then she took Indi to the park for a quick walk to enjoy the last few moments warmth of the late summer sun.<p>

It was around six o'clock when she got home again. She knew that Residue never took the stage much before 9, and with the time difference between them Angela expected to reach Jordan just lounging on the bus or at that night's venue, resting up to lay all of his energy out on the stage. She walked into the kitchen and stopped in front of the new make shift art piece that was taking up a large space on the wall by the breakfast nook. A three foot by three foot space was now covered in post cards. Jordan had gotten in the habit of sending her one with a short sweet message in every city. Angela looked forward to the mail every day, and each night she reread the previous messages. She couldn't believe how lucky she was or what a romantic Jordan Catalano had turned out to be. She hit the play button her answering machine and then scanned over all of the previous post cards.

Colorado Springs said – _"Baby I'm howling for you."_ Boise said – _"Today I found the most amazing textile store in the United States. In Idaho of all places… who knew. I walked in and it felt like you were there with me."_ Oklahoma City's said – _"Have I told you that you are in my dreams every night? I don't dare write down what those dreams entail – it would probably make the post man blush. XO –J"_ Seattle said – _"Such an amazing show tonight. I wish you could have been here for it. I miss you so much it hurts." _

Angela felt a tear slowly slip down her cheek. She wasn't sure if it was because she was happy that he had written her such thoughtful things, or sad because he was on the other side of the country. Most likely it was a mixture of both. Just then she snapped back to reality and heard her sister's frantic voice on her answering machine.

"_Ang. It's Dani. Where are you? I called the flower shop and your cell phone. Why are you so impossible to get a hold of? Oh well. I just talked to Mom; Grandpa Chuck is in the hospital. He had a stroke. She needs us. Call me when you get this._"

Angela stood up in front of her answering machine and placed her hands on the counter to steady herself. She hadn't seen her grandpa for five years. Her stomach dropped thinking about her family was going through right now and she was hours away. Next her mother's voice flowed out of the answering machine. She could tell that she'd been crying the way her voice scratched and gasped for breath.

"_Sweetie. It's Mom. I have some bad news. Grandpa Chuck…. he…. well… he's not with us anymore." _Her mom broke down into sobs. Angela stood there staring at the small black electronic device, not knowing what to do first. She wiped away the stream of tears now racing down her face._ "You're going to have to come home. We're making funeral arrangements tomorrow. Be safe. I love you, Angela._"

And with that she ran from the kitchen to her bedroom quickly packed a few items of clothing. Echoing from the kitchen she now heard Sharon's voice on the machine:

"_Chaseface. I'm so sorry. I heard about your grandpa. Dani, Krakow and I are all driving to Three Rivers right now. We'll be there for you when you get in. We love you. Have a safe trip and we'll see you soon._"

Angela walked out the door as she thought she heard the answering machine click off. She would just have to buy at ticket at the airport and hope that there was an outgoing flight to Pittsburgh within the next couple hours. While she waiting she planned to call Charlotte and explain to her the situation. Angela was sure that she wouldn't mind watching Indiana for a couple days while she was gone. She knew that it would make things stressful at the flower shop again with her absence, but there was no way she was going to miss her grandpa's funeral. The girls would just have to deal with it.

As Angela mounted her moped and hurried off to the airport the last message on the machine began to play. Jordan's voice crackled through the speaker:

"_Hey babe. I've got some band news, I lost my cell phone or someone stole it. So, I'm calling from a payphone and I don't have much change left. I guess I missed you; maybe you're at the farmer's market or out with Indi. Make sure you pick up some acorn squash – it's in season. But anyway we've got a couple more shows on the west coast and then we're stopping in L.A. for the last show. I know I already told you all this and what hotel I'll be staying at while I'm there. I'll be getting a new phone tomorrow or the next day and to let you know my new number. Hope things are good. I miss you like crazy. Just another week or so until I get to see you and hold again. I wish I had a fast forward button or something… sorry, now I'm just rambling – it must be the sleep deprivation. I'm starting to really worry about Shane. He's taking this thing with Cherski really hard… he's been drinking a ton every night and picking up all of these random girls at shows. He keeps saying that he's just trying to have fun, but I know he's trying to avoid dealing with missing her… I don't know what to do. Okay, I'll stop clogging up your answering machine. Talk to you soon._"

Unfortunately Angela wasn't around to hear his lament. The only things in the apartment to absorb his message were Indiana who was happy to have free range of all of the furniture now that his owner was gone for a few days and Angela's cell phone, which she had left sitting on the table in her flustered state of hearing about her grandpa.

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><p><strong>AN: The road is going to get a little bumpy from here on out. Please bear with me. I hope you'll all be happy with how I want this story to work out. Thanks again for reading. I'd love to hear any comments or thoughts. -K <strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**I own nothing... Hello all. Sorry about the delay on this chapter. I'm having a hard time deciding how I want to break up my event line in the final chapters for this. I had to cut off some stuff at the end, but I'll be sure to include it in the next installment. I sent Angela back home to Three Rivers, nothing like family time and confronting guilt to round out a trip home. Plus, I made sure Rickie got some face time in this chapter. I feel like I haven't made him important enough. If I end up writing other stories for the ideas I have bouncing around in my head I'll be sure to utilize Rickie more. Okay, enough rambling - I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Please let me know what you're thinking, I love hearing your feed back on the story. - K**

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><p>An airport is such a weird place. Such a strange mix of emotions all walled up within the endless perimeter of mile high windows. Anxiety, love, regret, loss, anticipation, fear, excitement, boredom, irritation – you name it, spend ten minutes examining the faces of the people in the waiting terminals or security check lines of an airport and you could easily locate someone experiencing any combination of these emotions. Angela herself had run the gambit of emotions since she walked out of her apartment. And just this minute she was experiencing a sharp pang of jealousy while she was waiting for her flight to depart for Pittsburg only a few hours ago. She sat with her sunglasses on and watched as a young couple said a tearful goodbye at the loading gate. She wished there was someone there with her so say such a heartfelt goodbye to her. Well not just someone, a very specific person in particular, but he was countless miles away. Instead she sat quietly by herself trying not to think about the situation she would be returning home to.<p>

A few brief, but draining hours later, Angela was standing atop one of the various escalators running up and down the different levels of the airport she had arrived in. She had already grabbed her luggage and was now trying to get her bearings so she locate a cab to take her back to Three Rivers and her mourning family. As her eyes drifted over the faces of all the strangers around her, she recognized the smiles and tears of welcome homes and farewells. Then something caught her eye in the crowd encircling the base of the escalator. A tall, slenderattractive man with cleanly cut dark hair and dark eyes stood there dressed impeccably, sticking out like a well appareled sore thumb. A large smile crept over Angela's face as Rickie looked up at her. He held up the sign in his hands a little higher so she could see the scrolly black letters forming the words "Miss Angela Chase" on the stark white piece of paper in his hands.

The step she was standing on disappeared into the landing zone and Angela launched herself through the group of people in front of her. She pushed forward and tugged her luggage behind her, finally meeting Rickie face to face. Angela smiled and signed contentedly before wrapping her arms securely around his neck and pulling him into a much needed hug. After standing in that embrace for several minutes, the two friends separated and Rickie kissed her softly on the cheek. Angela wiped away the tear that had started to meander down her cheek.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I ran into your mom yesterday and she told me about your grandpa. I'm so sorry Angela. She said you would be flying in this evening and I offered to come pick you up. I asked her not to mention it because I wanted to surprise you. Are you pleasantly surprised?" Rickie took her luggage from her and started to lead her to the guest parking lot where his car waited for them.

"I can't think of any face I would have been more happy to see than yours waiting for me at the bottom of that stupid escalator." She said grabbing his hand and squeezing it tightly. It had been almost two years since she had seen her friend. After Rayanne's death, Angela had a hard time facing Rickie. She had been plagued with a strong sense of guilt, misplaced nevertheless, over what had happened that night. She knew Rickie didn't blame her for what happened, but she still felt that if she had been there things might have turned out differently.

When Angela had moved to Chicago to attend college, she felt like she had left a part of herself back in Three Rivers with Rayanne and Rickie. She couldn't imagine being the person she was today without those two. They had jointly been the catalyst for growth within herself and in various areas of her life more so than any other persons. Rayanne had always encouraged Angela to try new things and live life like an adventure; Rickie was the one who nurtured the choices Angela made and convinced her that if she was happy, then she was doing the right thing. It was nearly impossible to imagine one of her friends without the other. Even when Rayanne and Angela had shared an apartment together after Angela graduated, Rickie would make a point to visit at every couple weeks to make sure his girls were living right. And when he wasn't there physically, Rickie's spirit always lived amongst them.

Now seeing Rickie without Rayanne made Angela's heart ache. She knew that coming home would bring on an onslaught of feelings like this, but she hadn't expected to be faced with them right after getting off the plane. She stopped next to his sleek black sedan as Rickie loaded her luggage in the backseat and walked around to the driver's side of the door. Rickie looked at her over the top of the car and caught the tinge of sadness in her soft green eyes.

"Seeing you makes me think of her too," He said. "But in a good way. Instantly when I saw you I remembered all of the fun we had together and how happy we all were for such a long time. Try and think about that, it helps."

Angela nodded solemnly. Rickie had always been the most insightful of the group. Although she hadn't seen him for close to two years, they had kept in touch regularly through phone calls. When she had first moved to Michigan and instantly had regretted her decision due to the heavy burden of loneliness, he had been the one who had helped to assure her that things would turn out well. Angela felt slightly ashamed that she hadn't called to tell Rickie about having reconnected with Jordan Catalano, but she was sure it was something that they would spend hours analyzing now that she was home and they were together again. At the very least it was a topic that would help to keep her mind off the weightiness of the reason why she was home in the first place. As Rickie got on the highway to bring her back to Three Rivers, her thoughts settled on the happiness of getting to see her family and friends again in one place, but also the sadness of the situation that was bringing them all together.

The car rolled up in front of a very familiar house, yet it seemed like it was from a different life. There was the light blue façade and the sturdy white columns that punctuated the large porch with its coble stone base, adorned with lanterns casting a soft welcoming light. The chocolate colored front door was in dire need of a pain job, it was now well worn and spotty. Her bedroom window, with its cream color chiffon drapes pushed aside which she knew from memory were letting in the orange glow of the street light outside. As they walked up the side walk, fallen elm and maple leaves crackled under their feet. Angela placed her hand on the door knob and twisted. She was met with a warm smell of fresh baked bread and something smothered in garlic. Stepping through the door way Angela turned back to look at Rickie who was still standing on the steps.

"Aren't you coming in?" She considered him family, so it only made sense that he should be with everyone tonight.

"No, I don't think so. You should be with your family tonight. I'll see you tomorrow at the funeral." He walked up and kissed her quickly on the cheek again. "It's too bad that something like this had to bring you home, but I'm selfishly happy that you're here. I've missed you. Tell everyone I say hello."

Angela stood and watched as Rickie crossed the yard and drove off in his car. By the time his car was out of sight, she could hear her mother's voice perk up in the kitchen.

"I feel a draft. Graham, did you leave a window open somewhere?" Patty, being the ever observant mother sensed the minute change in her environment and left the room to see what had caused it. She turned the corner in the hall way and came face to face with her oldest daughter standing silently in the foyer.

"Angela, sweetie." Patty wrapped her arms around her daughter who was now just as tall as she was and pulled her close. Angela buried her face in to her mother's neck and clung to her shoulders. "We didn't even hear you come in. Is Rickie with you?"

Stepping backwards and out of her mother's arms, Angela could see that the stress and grief of the past few days had taken their toll. Patty looked worn down. Her eyes were red and swollen, from what Angela assumed were countless tears over losing her father.

"No. He just left. He says hello and that he'll be at the funeral tomorrow. How are you? Where's Dad?"

"We're all as good as can be expected. I'm just happy you made it in safely. Your father is in the kitchen with Dani and Brian. He's making a late dinner. You got here just in time."

Angela left her luggage in the entryway and followed her mother down the short hallway and into the brightly lit kitchen. Brian and Danielle were seated at the table talking quietly amongst themselves. Graham stood in front of the stove with his back to the rest of the room. Angela walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. He turned at the first touch of her embrace.

"Ang. When did you get here?" He reciprocated the affection, hugging her tightly and kissing her on the top of her head. "Where did you leave Rickie? Tell him there's plenty of food if he wants to stay for dinner."

"Rickie went home. But I'll eat his share… I'm starving and it smells amazing." She said squeezing her father again once more before walking over to the table.

"Hey." Brian said, nodding in Angela's direction as she sat down next to her sister. She smiled at him in return. _Krakow at my family's dinner table… will wonders never cease _– she thought. Her inner dialogue was cut short by an intrusion of Dani's voice.

"Seriously, who leaves their cell phone at home when they're flying to a different city? You practically lead Mom into a nervous breakdown. She sent Rickie just so she would know the exact moment you got off your plane." Danielle rattled off, shoving her sister slightly. Then she pushed the mug she was holding between her hands in Angela's direction. "Hot cider - your favorite."

"First of all, it's not like I left it intentionally. And secondly, shut up." Angela snatched the mug from her sister and drank in the warm comforting beverage.

Graham announced that dinner was done, and as if by muscle memory the two sisters stood up and gathered plates and glasses to set the table. They all sat around the oval wood table top sharing bits of light hearted conversation. Everyone was avoiding discussing what had brought them all into the same room for the first time in two years. Tomorrow would be set aside for tears and mourning, tonight was reserved for catching up and family bonding. After dinner everyone was more than ready to retire to bed. Angela, Danielle, and Brian had had long days of traveling and Patty and Graham were equally worn out from awaiting their arrival. Angela kissed her parents goodnight and headed up the sturdy wooden stairs leading to her bedroom. Before she reached the second landing in the stairwell, she paused to listen in on the inevitable argument her sister and her mother were now half heartedly engaged in.

"Mom. Don't be so archaic. Why are you making a big deal about Brian staying here?"

"Because it's my house young lady; which means my rules. I don't care how old and grown up you think you are."

"Don't worry Mrs. Chase. I understand. My parents know I'm in town; I'll just stay over there. Dani, don't make this into a big deal when it really isn't one." He kissed her on the top of the head as she stood opposed to Patti still in the kitchen. "I'll see you in the morning. What time are we leaving for the funeral?"

"Thank you Brian. I'm glad you understand, and that one of you in this relationship is willing to act like an adult." She glanced triumphantly at Danielle. "The service is at eleven, but Graham will be making a large breakfast for some close family and friends at the restaurant if you want to stop there around nine-ish."

"Come on Brian. I'll walk you out…"

When Angela heard them coming out from the kitchen she dashed up the rest of the stairs to the second level of the house. She was secretly happy that she wasn't the first daughter to face the challenge of bringing a boyfriend home to sleep over. Danielle must have expected special treatment because their parents had known Brian since he was a toddler. She wondered briefly how things would have panned out if she had been the one to show up with Catalano on her arm. Patti always had an odd nostalgic infatuation with Jordan when Angela was younger, maybe that would have played in her favor.

With the first foot fall on the soft grayish blue carpet in the hallway, Angela felt like she was pushed back through various folds in time. Everything looked exactly the same, yet from another world. Three doors on her right: Danielle's room, their shared bathroom, her parent's room, and two on her left: her room and the door to the linen closet. Four more steps and she would reach her old bedroom door. She knew that on the second step, the floor boards would creak under her weight. This was a useful fact that she had come to memorize and evade on the evenings that she had snuck in after curfew. Tonight, however, she left the familiar sound creep in and let her know she was home.

Opening the door to her room, Angela breathed in heavily. Even though she had taken a good deal of her possessions with her to college, and from there on to her new home in Michigan, her room still looked just like it had when she was a teenager, for the most part. There were a few posters missing from the walls, and her dresser top was far less cluttered, but all of the major players were still in place. Her large bed, two dressers, an oval antique mirror, and a towering stand of CDs and cassettes. The majority of the cases had been emptied and put into CD binders, but their shells remained in her room like fossils of her adolescent music taste. Something inside of her wanted to dig through all of the drawers and see just what she had left behind, but she was exhausted and her body was pleading for sleep. Angela pulled open her closet door to find something to sleep in, since she hadn't felt like lugging her suitcase up the stairs and left it sitting in the foyer. She was sure there had to be some old oversized t-shirt that would work for temporary pajamas. Pushing aside the garments still left hanging in the closet Angela was slightly taken back at her former fashion sense. _Uggh I cannot believe I actually wore that – willingly. Oh Nineties fashion, at least everyone looked as ridiculous as I did._ Her hand glanced over a familiar piece of fabric. Her skin felt the ridges in the cloth before her eyes knew it was. It was heavier than every other item of clothing she had sorted through. Angela tugged the hanger down off the top rung of the closet and small contented smile broke across her face. She had nearly forgotten that Jordan's old corduroy coat was still in her possession. He had left at her house the night before he left for New York. She had worn it in secret every night until she herself had left for school; it was her private attempt at keeping him with her in some way. Angela hugged the bulky fabric close to her and rubbed the worn and matted fake sheep's wool against her cheek. Sadly, it no longer smelled like him, it now smelled like everything else in her closet: stale air and faintly of moth balls. She ignored this fact and tried to remember what it had smelled like the night he had wrapped it around her shoulders. Angela pulled the jacket around her again and curled up on to her old bed. She shut her eyes and drifted off to sleep immediately with thoughts of Jordan and the first night they spent together coursing through her brain.

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><p>"What the hell?" Jordan hung up his phone and dropped it on the table.<p>

"No answer again?" Shane asked over his shoulder from chair he was sitting in. They were back stage at a show in Oregon waiting for the opening bands to finish so they could take the stage.

"This is the third day in a row. I'm starting to get worried." Jordan leaned back. He couldn't remember doing or saying anything that would make Angela intentionally avoid his calls. Sure, they hadn't been as ardent about keeping up on phone calls over the last couple weeks or so, letting one night slip between the cracks every once in a while, but he hadn't gone three days without talking to her since he'd left Michigan.

"What'd you do to piss her off?" Jordan could hear the edge of bourbon on Shane's voice.

"Nothing… that I know of." Jordan was irked that his friend so willing jumped to the conclusion that he had messed up things with Angela already. "And what makes you think _I_ did something?"

"In high school Angela followed you around like a sad little puppy, practically drooling, until you did something wrong… like when you nailed her best friend." Shane reached for the bottle of Jefferson's Reserve and poured himself a few more fingers. Laughing a bit, sardonically, he continued, "then when she found out about it she dropped your ass and left you with your head spinning. This looks a lot like that same thing to me."

"Shut it Shane. You have no idea what you're talking about. That Jefferson's isn't going to make you play any better tonight," Jordan was more than a little pissed off with his friend by now. He'd been drinking heavily for the last few shows of the tour and had thrown a glitch in their set more than once. After his snarky comment about messing things up with Angela, Jordan thought he'd throw in a dig of his own, "and it's not going to make Cherski come back, so why don't you lay off it for a change?"

With that Jordan pushed himself away from the table and went to settle his mind before the show, leaving his friend standing there rolling his eyes and tipping the glass back.

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><p>The late September rain seemed fitting. The drizzle hung over the small crowd of people in all dressed mono-chromatically in black, standing in front of a rectangular hole in the ground. Raindrops fell rhythmically on to the casket from the canopy of maple trees shading the cemetery. Angela held her hand out and felt the drops as they hit the areas of her palms sporadically. Someone was speaking, talking about the importance of life, or love, or family, or remembrance, but it all just glided over Angela. She had cried at the ceremony at the church. She would miss her grandfather, she loved him and he had been a large part of her life growing up, but she no longer felt the need to shed any more tears. Angela stood watching her mother and father, a few feet away from her. They both looked as exhausted as she felt. She saw Sharron's glossy golden hair peak out of the crowd across from her. She was standing quietly with her mother. They had come to show their support for the Chases, hugs and condolences were freely given before the ceremony. Angela's eyes rested once they landed on Danielle and Brian. Until that moment those two as a couple had been a bit of a novelty to her. But now, from a moderate distance she observed a closeness between them that she had never expected to find. Brian was attentive and continually trying to comfort Danielle. He found ways of touching her discreetly as a way to let her know physically that he was there for and with her. At that moment he was rubbing her back therapeutically as she rested her head on his chest, tear trails staining her pale face.<p>

Angela thought to herself: _ Will I ever have that? Danielle has someone she depends on. Brian is here holding her steady as she grieves this loss. While the person I'm supposed to be able to fall back on is currently hundreds of miles from here and hasn't answered my phone calls for the last couple days. Either he's too busy or he doesn't care. Jordan doesn't even know what I'm going through right now. How can a relationship work if I can't depend on him to be somewhere when I need him? I loved him once, and I think, no I know, I could love him again… but could I play second fiddle to his career, his lifestyle? Could I let his life dictate mine? All I want right now is to feel the reassurance of his arms around my shoulders, his body against mine. Something to let me know all of this will work itself out… _

Her train of thought was obstructed by the touch of someone's hand on hers. She looked to her left to find Rickie standing there. He had noticed her shoulders trembling and stepped up to comfort her. They stood there holding hands and starring at the lacquered coffin until it sunk six feet down to its final resting place.

On the way back to the parking lot Rickie grabbed Angela's hand. "Come with me for a minute, I'll bring you back to your parent's house afterwards." Angela nodded and squeezed his hand, knowing exactly where he planned to lead her.

"Mom. I'm going to catch a ride home with Rickie. We'll be back a little later." Her voice sounded weak and distant. Rickie led her in the opposite direction from her family, towards the depths of the cemetery.

They walked silently through the parallel rows of concrete, granite and marble place markers. In the plots where couples were buried together she always noted how far apart the dates were when they had died. She wondered what those years of solitude felt like; still walking this earth while the love of your life was buried beneath it. Eventually their steps slowed as the gravestones became slightly familiar, Rickie and Angela stopped in front of a dark granite headstone. RAYANNE GRAFF: March 23, 1979 – June 12, 2002 _Your song and your spirit lives on with us._

Angela felt the warm moist presence of tears on her face as she read over the words and dates of the large stone in front of her. She thought about the body of her friend buried six feet below her. It didn't seem possible that the dirt and earth could contain such a life. In the next moment her knees gave way and she landed softly on the thick, wet green grass. Instead of trying to stand up she traced the letters on the cold stone. She sat there in a heavy silence for a few minutes. Rickie stood behind her, knowing that this was something she had to do in order to move on.

"Hey Ray. It's been a while. I'm sorry I haven't been by to visit you… honestly I've kind of been avoiding you." Angela's voice cracked at the confession. The idea of standing in this place was what had kept her from coming home to visit her family; she knew she couldn't set foot in Three Rivers and not come here and say her peace. She had been here for Rayanne's funeral, but had not been back since. "I miss you so goddamn much." She nearly shouted through the sobs. "I'm… so sorry I wasn't there for you, when you needed me most. Every day it breaks my heart to think that you left this world being mad at me. And every day I hope for your forgiveness." She broke down. Rickie kneeled down and wrapped his arms around Angela, in attempt to absorb her sorrow. "All of this is so hard without you. I feel like I'm stuck running in place. I don't have anyone pushing me to jump when I'm too scared to try new things. No one behind me telling me it will all work in the end, or reminding me that at least it will make for a good story if it all blows up in my face." Angela laughed breathlessly as her mind quickly spun through all of the times where things hand blown up in her and Rayanne's face – and how those times had been what brought them closer together. "We certainly did have a time didn't we? … I hope you're at peace now. And that your light is shining where ever you are. I love you Ray. I won't stay away so long next time, I promise." Angela stood up and Rickie wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him. He kissed her on the top of the head as she let all of her sorrow and guilt spill from within. She had finally made amends with her best friend; she'd faced her death and her grave and now Angela could start to move forward with her life. Before they left Rickie dropped a single yellow rose in front of Rayanne's headstone. He kissed his finger tips and tapped the dark granite. "I'll see you later Ray. Love you."

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><p>The drive back to Angela's parent's house was quick. She felt a great weight lifted from her shoulders. Now she was only left with sheer exhaustion from the emotionally draining day.<p>

"When are you leaving?" Rickie asked as the pulled up to the curb.

"Not until Friday. I want to be able to spend a whole day with my mom and dad. They both said they'd be taking tomorrow off from work. I think Dani, Krakow, and Sharon are sticking around for another day as well."

"Okay. I don't have any plans for Thursday night, maybe we could all go out for a drink and unwind before you scurry out of Three Rivers and leave me here by lonesome again."

"Yeah. Definitely. I would love to spend more time with you. I wish I had more than a couple days here." She leaned over and squeezed Rickie in her arms. "I miss you so much!"

"Okay, call me tomorrow." Angela waved as Rickie drove away.

Walking through the front door Angela was confronted with a sight that warmed her heart. Graham and Patti were sitting on the couch, Dani and Krakow were curled up on the oversized chair and Indiana Jones was dangling from an old Egyptian statue over a massive pit of snakes on the television screen.

"Yes! Are we watching all three?" She asked before anyone realized she was standing in the living room.

"Of course. In honor of Grandpa Chuck." Dani said without turning her head from the screen. Since they had been little girls it had been a tradition for them to watch all three Indiana Jones movies with their grandpa on either the Thanksgiving or Christmas holiday. It was his favorite, and the girls loved being able to spend large stretches of time with him because he spoiled them with candy and junk food. Angela hopped on the end of the couch that her parents were sitting on. She tucked her feet up under her and pulled a blanket over her legs.

Well into the second movie, Brian was the first to pipe up. "Hey, Angela. Isn't your dog named Indiana?"

"Yeah. What of it Krakow?" Angela said falling back on her dismissive tone that was habitually directed at Brian thanks to years of being neighbors.

"What? So you had some big movie star crush on Harrison Ford so you named your dog after him?" he teased.

"Seriously Krakow?" Dani chimed in. "Have you ever watched these movies?"

"Yeah sure, plenty of times. What does that have to do with anything?" He looked at her a little hurt that she was siding against him even in this light hearted quip.

"Harrison Ford's name isn't really Indiana." Angela said smugly. "In the third one you find out that it is really the name of his dog he had when he was growing up, and he adopted the nickname. He's actually named Henry Jones Jr. Hah! It's one of my favorite parts of the movie, so that's why I named my dog after it."

"Huh. I don't remember that part at all." Brian said after Angela had put him in his place.

"Yeah well… when you've seen these movies as many times as we have, you don't miss much." Dani replied as she rubbed his shoulder to comfort his bruised ego. And with that everyone's attention turned back to tunnel of insects that Harrison Ford now found himself battling through.

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><p>At some point Thursday had shifted into Friday, and no one had seemed to notice. It was already one o'clock in the morning while Dani, Sharon, Rickie and Angela all sat around a high top laughing. After spending the day with their parents at Graham's restaurant, Angela and Danielle got a hold of their friends and decided to go out for some drinks before leaving town. They had gotten dropped off down town and had pub crawled through the majority of the establishments in Three Rivers. They were ending their night at Pike Street. Luckily for them tonight was karaoke night and they had all had more than their fair share of tequila.<p>

"Chaseface pleeeeeaaaaseeee sing a song with me?" Sharon begged as she tugged on her oldest friend's arm.

"Sharon I am in no condition to be singing songs in front of strangers. I'll slur my way through a chorus I know by heart at this point." Angela really wasn't that drunk, but she was hoping to play it up to get out of doing a duet with Sharon.

"You're such a wet blanket!" Sharon shouted as she licked the salt off the back of her hand, downed her tequila, and the popped a lime wedge in her mouth, somehow managing to pout the entire time.

"Haha. A wet blanket? What does that even mean Cherski?" Danielle laughed and then grabbed the table to steady herself, all of the downed beverages from the last five bars they had visited were starting to get to her.

"My mom says it all the time. You've never heard that saying? It basically means a ... party pooper!" She slightly messed up the definition, but would just blame it on the alcohol later.

"Okay, FINE! One song Sharon. And make sure it's one I know or I'm not going up there." Angela said to satisfy her friend. "But if we're doing this I'm going to need another shot... or three." She hopped down from her bar stool and made her way up to the bar.

Rickie followed her up there to buy another round for the table. While they were standing waiting for their drinks he hollered into her ear, "Hey! Look who it is!"

Angela glanced down the bar and saw a familiar form. She knew she recognized him, but a few years absence and hours of drinking were clouding her memory. She looked up at Rickie with slight confusion on her face.

"It's Tino!" At the mention of his name, the man looked in their direction. He nodded his recognition and lifted his pint glass to them. "Come on. We have to go say hi."

Angela never knew Tino very well, although through Rayanne, Rickie and Jordan she had hung out with him countless times. He and Rayanne had shared a "thing", Angela wasn't really sure if they were ever considered to be together… or were just _together_. But she knew that he had cared about Rayanne, and losing her had hit him hard. Angela also knew that the majority of trouble that Jordan had gotten into, before and after she had met him, was instigated by Tino. He was older than all of them and he always liked to have a good time, sometimes that brought on unpleasant outcomes.

The grabbed the tray of shots that the bar tender had delivered and slid down the bar to where Tino was seated.

"Hey Tino. It's been a while." Rickie patted him on the shoulder.

"Yeah man. Good to see that life is treating you well." He looked over at Angela. "Howdy miss. Ain't seen you 'round these parts in a grip."

"Yeah. I'm just home for a couple days. It feels weird to be back in Three Rivers."

_Could I get Sharon and Angela up to the microphone please? You're our next performers._ The man in charge of the karaoke bellowed over the speakers.

"Well I guess that's me. Good seeing you Tino."

"Wait! Let's all take a shot before you hop up there." Rickie requested. The three grabbed a glass cheersed and then tipped them back. Angela shook her head and gritted her teeth.

"Here goes nothing."

Sharon was already waiting for her on stage. "What are we singing anyway?" Angela questioned, she regretted walking into this blind. She and Sharon had quite different tastes in music; this could prove to be a disaster. The blue screen in front of them started scrolling and Angela felt a wave of relief come over her. _Never _by_ Cake_ rolled up the screen as the dial tone intro came up. Sharon decided to take the first verse:

_I need your arms around me; I need to feel your touch_

_I need your understanding; I need your love so much._

_You tell me that you love so; you tell me that you care_

_But when I need you baby, you're never there._

_On the phone long, long distance always through such strong resistance. _

_First you say you're too busy; I wonder if you even miss me._

_Never there, you're never there. _

_You're never ever, ever there._

_HEY!_

Her voice dripped with spite. Angela could tell that this song was meant to travel the airwaves and somehow reach Shane's ears. Sharon had been droning on and on all night how he was such a piece of shit, and that she knew he was out sleeping with whoever he laid eyes on any given night. She was acting like she didn't care, and that she'd moved on, but Angela could tell how hurt she was by his actions. Not being able to go with Shane had torn Sharon apart, and to see him behaving like he cared about nothing more than adding notches to his best post in all of the gossip magazines was giving her an unwanted reason to drink herself into oblivion that night. Angela perked up when she heard that it was getting close to her verse for the song. She sang along with John McCrae, thankfully Cherski and picked a song that she loved and didn't need the prompter's lyrics for assistance.

_A golden bird that flies away, a candles fickle flame_

_To think I held you yesterday, your love was just a game._

_You tell me that you love me so, you tell me that you care,_

_but when I need you baby…_

_Take the time to get to know me,_

_If you want me why can't you just show me_

_We're always on this roller-coaster,_

_If you want me why can't you get closer?_

_You're never there… you're never there…_

_You're never ever, ever there. _

_HEY!_

There was a surprising amount of applause. It turns out that a couple of attractive drunk girls singing along to Cake makes all the guys in a bar happy. Angela and Sharon sprinted over to their seats after the duet. Their faces were red with embarrassment and alcohol.

"Holy shit. That was great. I thought one of you would fall flat on your face." Dani said as she tossed back another round of tequila. "I called the cab service… told them to be here to pick us up in about 45 minutes. So you ladies had better take these shots and catch up to Enrique and me. That lovely little ditty put you both behind a round."

The happy friends at the table all burst into laughter at Danielle's drunken attempt at a Latino pronouncement of Rickie's full name. She rolled her r for what felt like hours. The karaoke conductor was now announcing the next person to take the stage: _Can I please get Corey up here? Corey, man where are you?_

Angela's eyes widened as she saw familiar face amble up on to the stage. They had graduated together. It had been years since she had saw or thought about Corey Halfrick. She snapped her head around back to Rickie, whose eye line suggested that he was also interested in Corey's presence.

"Earth to Rickie!" Angela yelled across the table and tossed a used lime wedge in his direction.

"What? I'm invested in this new entertainer." He said as he shot a flirtatious smirk her way.

"Well maybe us gals will grab the cab home, and you can stick around here… work your game, or whatever." They all erupted with laughter.

"Oh darling please. Like I haven't already been there, and done that."

"RICKIE!" all three girls shouted in unison.

"What? How many eligible single gay men do you think live in Three Rivers? Give me a break."

"I just can't believe you never told me about it. That's all." Angela was happy that her friend had.. conquered one of his _goals_ from high school, but she wished he can confided in her about her conquest. She would have air high fived him from wherever she was.

"You mean just like you told me about shacking up with Jordan Catalano last month?" he shot back with a little added attitude.

"I.. well.. I was going to… things were hectic… ugh!" Angela tripped over her tongue in frustration. Rickie laughed at her inability to explain herself.

"Don't you worry that pretty little red head of yours; we have a whole car ride back to the Pittsburgh airport tomorrow for you to fill me in on all the details."

The four friends spent the remainder of their night laughing and singing along with the botched attempts of strangers to belt out the radio hits of the past two decades.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So my sister &amp; my best friend &amp; myself have decided to be the ladies from MSCL this Halloween. We've already started thrifting the best costumes possible. And in looking for the best images of Rayanne's outfits in the series I came across a really good article on a random blog. Now, I know there are some serious Rayanne haters out there, but I really love her (How can you not with all of those great one liners? Betrayal - schmeeschmayal. The article itself discusses the importance of Rayanne's character in the series, and Angela's life as a whole. Plus as a bonus it has tons of still images of Rayanne's outfits, along with an in depth discussion of her fashion sense. It's pretty funny to boot. If any of you are interested in reading it, PM me and I'll shoot you the link. - K<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Well, well, well. It's been a while. Sorry for such a long delay in between chapters. I started writing this one five months ago and hit a major writing snag... and then my life fell apart a bit. But all is well now. And I've managed to kick my writer's block to the curb. Yet, the draw back from taking such a major pause is that I feel like I sort of lost my footing on the story. I hope this chapter doesn't seem too disjointed and I hope you all enjoy it. And I promise the next update won't be five months from now. Comment/Review please and thank you!**

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><p>As the moderate speckles of consciousness crept into Angela's brain, she stretched out her limbs. She was now able in her "adult years" to touch the expanses of her childhood bed. In her younger years it had seemed so spacious, but now was crowded with memories of easier mornings of a forgotten time. She forced her eyelids apart and canvassed the well-known walls forming her perimeter. Patti hadn't moved her bed from the spot it had remained throughout her childhood, so the view she awoke to was something that had been engrained in her mind.<p>

Directly ahead was her dresser: four medium sized drawers that formerly contained all of her pants, skirts, sweaters, socks and underclothes. Her old boombox/cassette player combo sat covered in a layer of dust atop the dresser. To the right was her closet door. Behind it lay decades of bad fashion choices which she hoped to keep hidden for the rest of eternity without being reminded of them. In the left corner, there was her bay window. Angela could remember countless hours spent with her knees curled into her body hoping and imagining the day that all of her ideal romantic scenarios came true. The views of Three Rivers offered little in the field of window scenery, but Angela was happy to wake up to the shadowy images of the large Elm tree outside her window. She knew from experience that it had dropped all of its leaves in one emphatic release. Now all that remained were the dark spindly branches which were privy to the whims of any forceful wind. On this morning she could hear the skeleton like branches scraping against her window. Angela swung her feet over the side of her bed and gently padded over to the last piece of furniture in the room: her old vanity. The mirror was dusty and now reflected a woman rather than the girl who sat in front of it daily just a few years ago.

All of the random cosmetics and toiletries had been long since cleared away. She tugged on the drawer closest to her hand. It resisted slightly from years of neglect, but eventually gave and slid open. In it was half full of forgotten trinkets. An old earring, half used compact of makeup, a rainbow of colored bottles of nail polish, and other random objects. She pushed the contents about wondering if there was some sort of hidden treasure buried at the bottom.

Angela gave up and moved on to the next drawer. This one held items of more substance. On the very top was an old notebook, she picked it up and leafed through it. Most of the pages had been ripped from their binding, but a few scant sheets remained with various geometry and algebra equations scribbled on them. Angela could remember saving the notebook in the fear that she might come across some tricky math problem in her life after high school. Thankfully, she had absorbed more knowledge than she had led herself to believe and had never needed to reference her old notebook. Before putting it back in the drawer, she noticed that the inside of the back cover was completely graffitied with hearts and the initials "J.C.", as if anyone would have been fooled by the abbreviation. Angela laughed to herself, setting the notebook down, thinking that it might be a nice token to send to Jordan.

Beneath where the notebook had been Angela found a pile of old cassette tapes. She rummaged about through them feeling quite content in the merit of her musical tastes decades ago. She passed over Archers of Loaf, Buffalo Tom, The Cranberries, Smashing Pumpkins, Sonic Youth, Nirvana, and a few other timeless favorites that she now had full digital copies of on her laptop at home. After digging for a minute Angela found a cassette that sent her mind reeling back ten years…

_She was standing thirty feet from him; but she might as well have been on a completely different planet. Jordan Catalano was in his own world. His shoulder firmly stationed against the wall of lockers behind him and his beautiful eyes closed serenely. Angela was an interested observer struggling to forge her way through the sea of students during the mad rush between third and fourth periods. She felt safe assuming that Jordan wouldn't be making it to forth period English. From his current state she could tell he had already checked out for the day._

_It was nearly two months after she had forgiven him for having drunken sex with her best friend. And it had now been six weeks since he had admitted that the beautiful letter that stilled her heart wasn't exactly written by him. Things were awkward between them to say the least. She wasn't angry anymore, but couldn't really allow herself to jump back into a relationship with him when she found out about the letter. Yet he still clouded all of her waking thoughts and heavily occupied her dreams, but the words that Brian had wrote still lingered between them, creating a very uncomfortable triangle of feelings for Angela. They had agreed to be friends for a while and see where things went from there. But on days like this where he looked so perfect and oblivious to the world around him, Angela regretted her stance as just friends. She stood resisting the urge of walking over and drawing him back into the world of the living with a kiss. _

_Instead she walked up casually as she could muster and greeted him, "Hey."_

_Jordan didn't even bother to open his eyes, he knew her voice instinctually. Her face was burned into his brain. Seeing how pretty she looked today and not being able to put his mouth on her because she wanted to be _just friends_ would make his day even worse. _

"_Hey." He said trying to seem as aloof as possible. _

"_You know Katimski's class is on the other side of the building right? You're going to be late for English since I bet you haven't even gone to get your book from your locker yet. We're reading The Great Gatsby in case you forgot..."Angela tired to joke with him. But when he opened his eyes, he looked slightly irritated about being roused from his daze._

"_I left my book at home. It's not like he's going to ask me to read out loud anyway. Plus I can always just look off yours if I need to." he said as a slightly over entitled smile crept across his face._

"_Oh yeah? Maybe I won't be letting you look at my copy today. You're never going to learn to be responsible if I keep babying you." Angela teased. _

"_Oh well. I'm going to sleep through forth anyway. What do I care about some rich dude finding the girl he used to be in love with anyway? It's boring." Jordan shoved off the lockers and started to make his way towards the South wing of the school. He expected Angela to follow him since they would both be walking to the same class. But when he turned to his left she wasn't there, nor to his right. He stopped in the hall causing the freshman behind him to run directly into his back. The young blonde hair boy looked up in terror as all of his books went tumbling to the floor. _

"_I… ugh.. I'm soooo sssssorry." The small kid stammered as he picked up the three large textbooks._

"_Whatever man. No big deal." Jordan said as he reached down to grab the biology book that had fallen at his feet. He handed the kid his book and looked around in wonder trying to figure out where Angela had disappeared to. Through the mass of scurrying students he finally picked out her auburn hair standing in the same place he had left her. Fighting his way through the crowd, he stopped right in front of Angela. She smiled up at him like she knew a secret that he didn't. Jordan put his hand on the locker next to Angela's head, putting all of his weight on it, he leaned in closer to her until he could smell the soft clean scent of her shampoo. _

"_Miss Chase, I believe you are going to be late for English." _

"_I'm not going to Katimski's today. I have a dentist appointment and my mom will be here any minute to pick me up. I just wanted to give you this before I left for the rest of the day." Angela held up a cassette tape. _

_After all the drama between her and Jordan and Brian and Rayanne, she had retreated into music to find tranquility. Angela had made countless mixes over the last few weeks. The one she held now was a copy of one that she had been listening to nonstop for the last two weeks. Even though the songs were slightly poppy and not as moody or heavy as what Jordan normally listened to she thought there might be something in the songs that he could connect to. A lot of them said what she felt, but wasn't able to articulate to him. She hoped that maybe he'd pick up on her message and understand more where she was coming from. That she still cared about him, but things were different for her now. _

"_What's this?" He asked even though he clearly knew it was a cassette tape. He was flattered at the idea that Angela took the time to make him a mix._

"_It's just a mix that I made and thought you might like some of the stuff on it." Angela tossed it to him and walked away, leaving Jordan standing in the middle of the hall reading the band and track names that were inscribed on both sides of the cassette._

* * *

><p><em>For a May morning the air was chilled. The grass was crunchy underneath her feet. Angela had been getting geometry tutoring every Wednesday before school. Today's session hadn't lasted as long as usual since they were coming up on the end of the year and she was finally starting to pick up on all of the things she had missed during her boiler room saga. She decided to take a walk outside before the hallways started filling up with students trudging into their final weeks of classes. Angela had already crossed the vacant parking lot and now found herself wandering by the football field. She began to weave and snake her way underneath the bleachers when she recognized a memorable shape in the foreground. His corduroy clad shoulders where hunched due to the cold and smoke from his cigarette billowed up around him. In the silence of the morning she could hear him humming and quietly singing a familiar melody as she covered the distance between them. When she placed her hand on his back, he jumped due to surprise. Jordan had been facing the opposite direction and had been wearing headphones so he hadn't heard her sneak up behind him.<em>

"_Jesus Red. You scared the shit out of me." Jordan pulled his head phones down around his neck and flicked his cigarette away. Angela smiled, he rarely called her Red, but she was still quite fond of the nickname. And the connection to the song he had played for her at the loft was not lost on her… even though he swore up and down that the song was indeed about his car. Jordan noticed that she was only wearing a cardigan over a tshirt and that he could see the smoke like traces of her breath in the chilly morning air."What are you doing outside? It's freezing." _

"_My geometry tutoring got done early so I decided to take a walk before first period. What in the world are you doing at school so early? You are the last person I ever expected to see here before the bells ring." Angela said as she shivered slightly. Jordan took his coat off and wrapped it around her, rubbing the sides of her arms hoping to coax some warmth into her. The fact that this gesture seemed so natural struck Angela. Jordan's concern for her seemed second nature to him. It was casual and unforced and made Angela feel happier than she had been in weeks. _

"_There's a leak in one of the break lines on my car. I started fixing it last night but couldn't finish before I had to start working on that stupid biology take home test. So I had to walk to school this morning. It didn't take me nearly as long as I expected… so here I am. Wasting my life away."_

_Angela could hear the soft notes of music escaping from Jordan's headphones and could see the outline of a Walkman buried in the pocket of his jeans. _

"_What are you listening to?" _

"_Oh nothing. Just… I don't even know really… I grabbed the first cassette I saw on my dresser…" _

_Angela leaned in closer and automatically recognized the chorus to _Found Out About You_ by the Gin Blossoms. She knew instantly that he was listening to the mix she had given him a few weeks ago. _

"_Is that the mix I gave you?"_

"_What? I don't know… maybe. Like I said… I just grabbed it on the way out.." Jordan stumbled over his response as Angela rolled her eyes. "Okay. Yes. I've been listening to it nonstop. Happy?"_

_Angela couldn't help but smile broadly. She was indeed happy. Knowing that Jordan appreciated her small gift meant the world to her. She had guessed right, he had picked up some of the messages she was trying to convey through the lyrics of the various songs. Every time he listened to the tape he thought of her. It made him feel that she still cared about him and made him hopeful that eventually things would work out between them._

"_Very happy," she said with her smile only growing larger. And in that moment Jordan chose to forget that they had agreed to only be friends. The way she was smiling at him warmed his entire heart; he hadn't allowed himself to feel this hopeful for months. Jordan took a step forward and rubbed his fingers softly along Angela's jawline. He bent down slowly until his lips met hers. They spent the next few minutes completely wrapped up in each other. Angela had so missed his touch and his taste that this moment was euphoric for her. And if those sentiments had been vocalized Jordan would have agreed whole heartedly. But instead of using words they used their mouths in a better way to convey their still burning feelings for one another. _

_Finally the rumble of school busses and the clamor of the student population brought them out of their little bubble. Angela stepped out of Jordan's embrace, her face fully flushed and her hair slightly tangled where Jordan had wove his fingers through it. She slouched out of his jacket and handed it back to him. She couldn't let herself lapse back into the blissful daze that washed over her whenever Jordan Catalano kissed her. She had said only friends and had meant it until she sorted everything else in her life out. Jordan only looked back at her in confusion and disappointment that they were no longer fused together at the mouth. _

"_I can't be late for my first period. I have a huge history exam. Um.. I'm glad you like the tape. I'll see you later, okay?" Angela said as she started to back away towards the school. _

"_Yeah. Sure." Jordan said as he put his headphones back on. He would never understand Angela Chase. But that was what he loved about her, no other girl had ever left him wondering and continuously wanting more. She was an anomaly._

After a moment or two Angela's mind was back in the present. She was no longer under the bleachers with Catalano, but was still sitting on front of her vanity. She walked over and dropped the cassette into her ancient boom box and pressed play. The tape started at the beginning of the B side. The first initial plucks of the guitar strings easily told Angela what song was playing. As Doug Hopkins's voice broke through the instrumental melody, Angela walked over to her bed and flopped down on her back, staring at the ceiling she listened to the lyrics that had meant so much to her years ago.

All last summer, in case you don't recall,

I was yours and you were mine - forget it all.

Is there a line that I could write

that's sad enough to make you cry?

All the lines you wrote to me were lies.

The months roll past - the love that you struck dead.

Did you love me only in my head?

The things you said and did to me

they seemed to come so easily.

The love I thought I'd won, you give for free.

Whispers at the bus stop;

I heard about nights at the school yard.

I found out about you.

Rumors follow everywhere you go.

Like when you left and I was last to know.

You're famous now and there's no doubt

in all the place you hang out.

They know your name and they know what you're about

Whispers at the bus stop;

I heard about nights at the school yard.

I found out about you.

She lay there thinking about how this song seemed to apply to various stages of her life and relationship with Jordan Catalano. It was like the first half of the song was directly narrating the way she felt about him when she was a teenager. Like Hopkins had followed her around during her sophomore year and had turned her heartbreak and angst into the first few verses of the song. And the second half seemed to easily relate itself to the situation she now found herself in with Jordan. She worried that his life in the lime light was going to end up having a bigger effect on their relationship than she wanted it too. Was it so wrong for her to not want to share Jordan Catalano with the masses of female populations in all of the 50 states, not to mention countries abroad? Maybe she had been fooling herself that this could work out between them. They were clearly living in two very different worlds.

Now that the sorrow and grief of the last few days had passed, Angela began to dwell more on the fact that she hadn't talked to Jordan since she had left Michigan; also that he hadn't bothered to return any of her messages that she left on his voice mail. Angela winced at the pang of neglect she felt upon this insight. It had been five days since he had bothered to call. For a normal relationship a five day dead zone wouldn't matter much when you were able to spend time together, but when it was the only interaction she and Jordan had, Angela was suddenly more than slightly irritated. Catalano had a lot of nerve.

As her thoughts lingered on Jordan, Angela thought about where he might be at that very minute. He would be three hours behind her and since it was early morning in Pennsylvania she figured Jordan was sleeping somewhere in L.A. She knew that he would have gotten into town yesterday because the band had two large finale shows lined up for this week. The first he would be playing tonight, the last and most important farewell to the tour would be two days nights from now. Angela assumed that he was probably busy and most likely exhausted, but would a five minute phone call be too much to ask? She had let him know in her messages that she was staying at her parent's and that she could be reached there. When he did manage to call she was going to give him a piece of her mind. She hadn't let Jordan Catalano walk all over her in high school, just because he was a big celebrity didn't mean she was going to start now.

As the B side of the cassette wound down, Angela dragged herself from the bed and started packing up her things that she had strewn around her childhood bedroom. She knew that Rickie would be picking her up later that evening to take her to the airport and wanted to have adequate time to spend with her family before having to leave them again. Her movements were lethargic with the idea of being separated from her friends and family again, but she was roused by the scent of a dark roast coffee and bacon wafting up from the kitchen below her feet. The pleasant smells and sounds of happy morning conversation convinced her to abandon her packing and join them.

* * *

><p>Jordan turned around and scanned the hotel room once more. He had his wallet, his phone, his keys, his sunglasses, and his old paperback copy of <em>Wildseed<em> was snuggly fit in his back pocket just in case he stumbled across some down time at any point during the day. Jordan grabbed the black hoddie that he had tossed on the back of an arm chair and pulled the door closed behind him. He turned to see Shane standing in the doorway of his hotel suite directly across the hall.

"Hey.. Katie..er Kari.. ummm Kayleigh? Hurry up. My car is leaving in five minutes and you're not staying in my hotel room while I'm gone." Shane was shouting back into the room. Jordan heard a mousey whimper of a voice come from within the suite, but could not make out exactly what the complaint was.

"Yeah. I'll talk to the guy at the door; see if I can get you on the guest list or something." Shane stopped and ushered out a petite woman with caramel brown hair who looked quite disheveled in last night's clothes. Jordan just stood and smirked at his friend as they made eye contact. Shane's guest skipped over to the elevator, while the two friends met in the middle of the hall.

"Mornin'." Jordan said with a knowing grin.

"It's too early if you ask me to have to go and prep for the show tonight. They couldn't have waited at least until after lunch?" Shane's irritation was only being magnified by his current hangover. "You don't have to keep pressing the button. It takes a minute for the elevator to climb all thirty floors." He snapped at the girl.

"Someone is in a chipper mood this morning. Sorry about my friend. I don't think we've been introduce. I'm Jordan." He held out his hand to the girl who now looked embarrassed after being reprimanded by Shane.

"I'm KateLynn." She shook his hand shyly. The trio boarded the elevator and waited for it to rest at the main floor. "Can you believe that I just randomly met Shane Jones at the bar last night? I mean… it's not every day that you get to meet one of the best drummers in the entire world. It must have been fate."

"Best drummer in the entire world? Wow. That's quite a compliment." Jordan said holding his laughter in as he continued to smirk at Shane, who was trying his damndest to ignore the conversation.

"Well he is. I mean… Like seriously… he's better than… well everyone. Shane said he's going

to try and get me on the guest list for tonight. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. I love that song you guys do... the one… oh I can't remember the name of it, but it's my favorite!"

Jordan noticed Shane roll his eyes and check his phone or missed calls, fully ignoring the ramblings of his young guest. Jordan also couldn't help but notice how young the girl was. He was surprised she was old enough to get into the bar. Shane's decisions on women over the past few weeks had slowly been in decline. Jordan was hopeful that with the end of the tour, Shane's tour of women would also cease.

As they reached the main lobby Jordan walked over the front desk to speak with the concierge. He and the rest of his bandmates frequently stayed at the same hotel when they were in L.A. The staff was respectful of their privacy and, from their frequent visits, knew them well.

"Ahh. Good morning Mr. Catalano. It looks like we're going to have another lovely day today. This package came in the mail for you. I'm happy I caught you on your way out." The man handed a small brown box over the counter to Jordan.

"Thank you Bernard. Also, I was wondering if there were any calls for me last night or this morning?" Jordan had told Angela what hotel they would be staying at while in town and was hopeful that even though she hadn't called his cell phone maybe she would try to reach him at the hotel.

"Well, sir, there are frequently calls for Jordan Catalano when Residue is playing in L.A. but no one knew the private name that you make your reservations under so I didn't assume they were personal acquaintances."

"Right. Well if you happen to get a call from a young woman named Angela Chase would you please give her have her try and reach me on my cell phone? She might not know my private name, but that's alright."

"It will be no problem, sir. Enjoy your day."

Jordan walked out of the large glass doors in the main lobby of the hotel. He pulled his simple, classic, black Rayband frames over his blue eyes as the bright California sun was a bit abrupt. Jordan climbed into the back seat of the car that the venue had sent over to pick up him and the rest of his band mates. Their tour bus Edna was parked and undergoing some repairs for the hardships she had endured over the last leg of their tour. A few moments later, Shane opened the car door and crawled in next to Jordan. He let his head fall against the back of the seat and exhaled in exaggerated exhaustion.

"Remind me to never do _that_ again."

"Did you send your friend off? I wonder if she missed home room. I hope she doesn't get detention." Jordan joked.

"Whatever man. She's at least a sophomore in college… I think. Definitely eighteen though. I made her show me her I.D. to prove it. What's that you got there?" Shane nodded his head at the small brown package that was seated next to Jordan.

"Oh. It's nothing… just something I forgot in New York and had sent over." Jordan turned the box over in his hands looking for the easiest way to open it.

"Right. Well I'm going to try and take a nap. Wake me when we get there."

Jordan assumed by Shane's silence that he had instantly drifted off to sleep. He could only guess how worn out his friend was from last night's company. He shook his head as he reflected on the fact that they certainly weren't as young as they once were.

Jordan succeeded in getting the tape off the top of the box and pulled out its contents. An old beat up Sony Walkman with a pair of well worn headphones. Jordan popped open the door and checked the tape inside. The familiar handwriting of the band names and track titles were a comfort. He flipped the tape over to listen to the B Side. The first guitar notes of _Found Out About You_ leaked from the headphones and filled Jordan's head. He followed his friend's example and leaned his head back resting it on the seat. For the first time in his life Jordan was thankful for the morning traffic, it allowed him a few extra moments to enjoy the mix tape that Angela had made for him years ago. He couldn't explain why the desire to listen to it had popped into his brain the day before, but he was glad that he had decided to have it overnighted to from NYC to L.A. If he couldn't see her or talk to her, at least he had part of her with him for now.

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><p>She was in pain again, but this time was happy for it. Angela's face aced and she had a throbbing headache, all brought on by couple of hours of being contained in a vehicle with Rickie and laughing uncontrollably the whole way. She couldn't remember a time when she had laughed so hard and for so long. After the weighty stay at her parent's house it felt good to just be silly with a close friend.<p>

Finally arriving upon their destination, Angela expected Rickie to pull up to the curb and drop her off at the main entrance. Instead he circled around to the long term parking ramp and pulled through the gate.

"Umm. What are you doing Rickie?"

"Didn't I mention that I'm flying out tonight too? I have a conference and a training session on social work with abandoned and abused children out in L.A. It's a happy coincidence that you needed a ride to the airport today. However, my flight doesn't leave for another three hours. Good thing I brought the newest issues of W and GQ to keep me busy." Rickie informed her as he grabbed their luggage out of the trunk. Once inside the building the two friends exchanged long hugs and vowed to make phone calls more frequently. Angela squeezed Rickie once more before parting ways to their separate airline counters to get their tickets.

There were only five people occupying the positions in front of her in line, yet it seemed to be taking a life age for the customer service rep to be able to help each person. This gave Angela some time to reflect on the last few days and what she would be returning home to. Neither of these two things held much weight in her mind once it crossed over to thoughts of Jordan. She knew that the next couple days were really important to him: he would be finishing the biggest tour of his entire career. It was a moment that she wished she could share with him. Angela smiled in spite of herself when she thought about how proud he would be of his accomplishment, but how heartbroken he would be to see it all end. And in that moment she knew that she had to be there for him. Angela diligently stepped out of line and crossed the airport to where Rickie was standing in line still waiting to purchase his ticket to L.A. She walked past the hand full of people standing in line behind him, all giving her dirty looks for cutting past them in the queue.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry it took so long for me to park the car. I can't believe you've been in line this whole time. I didn't expect them to be this busy on a Wednesday evening." Angela said in a faked tone as she walked up to Rickie and linked her arm through his. He gave her a very confused look. She quickly whispered under her breath to him, "Shhh. Go with it. I'm coming with you to L.A. I have to see Jordan."

"Oh darling." Rickie said theatrically as he patted the top of her head. Following her lead, "You're always so impatient." He lowered his voice, "I like the spontaneity. Catalano will be a very happy man. It'll be late when we get into L.A., let's get a hotel room and you can track him down in the morning."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

With her plane ticket for the West Coast safely in her hand, Angela curled up next to her best friend in the airport waiting room. They watched the people around them scurrying off to their different destinations and different lives.


End file.
