Bleach 1. Prologue

Prologue

Every morning had been the same for the past five and a half years – he'd wake up for work, she'd stir in bed for a few minutes but would eventually get up, head downstairs and start the coffee pot. He'd join her after his shower, adjusting his tie as he'd lean over and kiss her cheek. She'd smile, whisper good morning and ask what he wanted for breakfast. He'd sit down, read the newspaper and she'd cook his eggs and toast. She'd sit across from him, sipping her coffee as he munched away, muttering about stock markets, a busy day at the office and the like. He'd offer her the Lifestyle section of the paper and once a while ask her what she had planned for the day. He'd stand, adjust his suit coat, grab his bag and lean down for a kiss goodbye. Then he was gone and the large home was still till he'd arrive home late in the evening. Then, either she'd cook, or they'd go out. Then it was bed and the same thing the next morning.

How routine – how boring. What had happened to the romance, the love, the adventure? Had it ever been there to begin with? Their romance had been a whirlwind, coming out of her early twenties, high on life – a party girl, a pretty girl and she had managed to meet the highly successful banker. He was older than she was, but not by much. He lavished her with nights out, pretty presents of jewelry, purses, and the like. All the stuff she wanted but on her tight budget could never afford. He told her – he loved her – and she replied with 'I love you too'. He had proposed, she had accepted. Their marriage was grand and she was finally living the privileged life she had always wanted. The first few years were happy, trips around the world, parties and events but now, nearing their sixth anniversary the cracks were starting to show.

She stood at the kitchen sink, spinning the white gold band and heavy diamond around her finger, as she sipped her coffee. Had this all been for not? Was she in this relationship out of spite for being left behind? Yet, more importantly, where was he now. Was he on his way to work as she thought of him, or was he off having some adventure? Was there someone to rise every morning beside him, to kiss his cheek and tell him good morning? Did he ever want that? Rather than her normal way of waking him, flipping over, straddling his lap and kissing up his neck till he'd roll her over and their morning would be spent in other ways. Had it all be a childish romp, a summer fling that lasted much more than a single summer?

"Ma'am." The voice of her housekeeper snapped her from her thoughts as she whirled around, dropping and shattering the coffee mug on the floor. "Oh! Ma'am I am so sorry to have scared you! It's just you're normally not here when I arrive. Are you feeling well?"

"I'm fine…" Rangiku said, shaking her head and the petite woman before her. "I was just lingering this morning. I'm going to go for a walk." She shook her head glancing down at the shattered remains of the mug and the slipped liquid on the floor. Hating that she had created more work for the maid she knew she needed to get out and clear her mind. "I'm sorry." She whispered passing by the older woman.

"It is no need Ma'am, it's a beautiful day out for a walk. Enjoy."

Sprinting up the stairs she rounded the corner to the master bedroom, quickly showering, dressing in a simple sundress and drying out her hair before pushing her sunglasses up to the bridge of her nose, snapping up her purse and heading back downstairs. She could hear her housekeeper humming in the kitchen and without another word she departed out the front door and began to walk the city streets.

* * *

Gin, at the age of thirty, had already done everything he'd ever aspired to do. He'd graduated from a prestigious university and sealed a good job in the city centre; he'd been infinitely successful, thundering through the ranks and accepting promotion after promotion. He had an expensive inner-city town house, with plenty of housekeepers and gardeners to keep it looking beautiful. He wore designer suits, and drove around in a huge sports car that his pretty little wife had suggested he get.

And his pretty little wife was just that; a sweet thing with a small smile and a timid nature. She'd greet him at the breakfast bar, and offer him a mug of coffee their cook had stewed. Gin would politely decline (he was more of a tea drinker, personally) and bid her a good day, before coming home again at six o'clock sharp to listen to her frivolous gossip at the dinner table.

He would smile, nod at the right times and make comments of vague interest. Then they'd go to bed and the cycle would start again, not that Gin minded; the bland life he had created for himself was strangely numbing. It brought him comfort to look around his house and see the expensive furniture and grand gardens he'd spent all his hard earnings on. It let him believe, if only for a moment, that it was worth it - it was worth leaving his old life behind to pursue a city career that he no longer associated joy with; it was worth it, marrying a girl he'd never really been in love with, just to show his boss that he was the 'grounded' type.

No, Gin hadn't missed things at all. Besides, where was the point in dwelling on the past? His life was perfectly content as it was. Cramming commitments like a crazy man kept his mind from wandering to lazy afternoons spent in his home town, lounging under the hot summer sun with his arm trapped under her sleeping form and —-

As long as he kept busy, life was good. As long as things didn't change, the days were bearable.

But she wanted kids. His pretty little wife had sat him down at the dinner table with a small, serious looking frown on her face, and said that it was time they moved to the suburbs. Gin knew he shouldn't have kept those photo albums. The picturesque scenes of his home town had charmed his wife into thinking that it would be the perfect place to 'raise a family' - he could work from home and she could look after their babies, and they'd live out the rest of their perfectly boring existence together in absolute cliché harmony.

Gin could've said no. He could've insisted that they stay in their tall city town house near work. As if _he_ was the kind who would ever want to have children. But the shining images and memories sparkled to the surface of his mind; lush green hills and fruit trees, scenic woods and a cluster of shops which had no doubt grown since he'd last visited. And then, of course, _she_ was there.

Did she look much different from when he had last seen her, all those years ago? Was she married, was she happy, had she moved on? Of course she had. She was the most beautiful girl in town - Gin knew from the moment he'd first met her that she'd go far. She probably wasn't even living there any more. Anyway, why did it matter? He'd left her behind, and that was that.

His eyes were certainly not searching for a familiar head of golden hair as he and his wife visited different properties (new builds, ones he did not recognise). He was not disappointed when he didn't see her around the park they used to meet up in. In fact, he was grinning as his wife chose the house she wanted - it was oversized and spacious, and he could easily lose himself in it.

The move was quick and simple. The company didn't put up a fuss; Gin modified one of the rooms into a large office where he could work. And a whole week after the final box of stuff was delivered passed until Gin decided to venture outside into the familiar unknown. Nothing had changed; the town square looked exactly as it did when they used to meet up together in what felt like centuries ago. Oh, and he could see it now: she'd stand and wait for him patiently, wearing a pretty summer dress with her hair cascading down her back and —-

"Rangiku?"

* * *

**A/N;**

**This is actually a roleplay acted out between myself (deceptive-grin) and the wonderful Courtney (rangikuxmatsumoto) on tumblr. We decided to put it on ffnet and share it with more people, because we're both pretty proud of it. So please leave a review, and tell us what you think~!**

**P.S. I guarantee this will be updated. We've already written quite a lot.**


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

She was living the dream –wasn't she? The large spacious house, the two luxury sports cars parked in the garage, the designer fashion, the society galas and events, evenings at the Country Club – this was the life she had always wanted, the life was meant to have. She had been raised to be a prim and proper young lady, born into an outstanding society family that gave the idea of a 'picture perfect family' an actual face. The protective and providing father, the soft spoken loving mother, and their little angel of a daughter – however after 16 years of living by their rules she had rebelled. Suddenly the prim and proper lady was a pretty party girl. The young debutants that had flocked her as their queen suddenly shunned her from their social circle – she was far too extreme for their liking. It was then that she had met _him._

He had been her rebellion, brought up in such a similar household but had been allowed the liberty to explore and find himself. Well, she had found herself – in him. They had spent lazy afternoons in the summer under the shade in the city park. They had walked along the river walk – but not as other couples did, slowly and barely touching – no they'd run wild. He'd lift her up onto wooden edge of the guard rails and she'd laugh and walk as if she was on the tightrope before springing down into his arms. They'd laugh, they'd kiss, and they lived.

"_You're leaving?" Her voice had broken, barely over a whisper as tears threatened. Her voice was heavy with emotions, she was angry, happy and confused. Had the summer between their senior year and now meant nothing to him? Had they not talked about running away, exploring the world together? Why was he suddenly changing his mind, going off to college?_

Why did that memory come back to her now? Was it because she was wandering those same streets, walking through the park, down by the river walk alone ten years later. Had it really been ten years since then? She couldn't believe it, how much had changed since then.

He had left, she had seen him off, promised she call and write and he had told her the same thing. They had – at first but then college must have become much more to him than the girl he had left behind. She had slowly fallen away from the rebellious lifestyle and once more became the queen bee of the social circle of her peers. She attended the weddings of her friends, watched as they either moved away with heavy hearts or welcomed children. Soon, the pretty little circle of young ladies was a pretty little circle of young wives and mothers. Except for Rangiku.

It was then, four years in that she had met her future husband. He was an extremely successful business banker who had recently moved from the city. He was looking to relax, find a wife, and settle down. She was settling, she had known that all along. He had said the pretty words, offered her the pretty gifts and promised her the world. But it wasn't the world she wanted, it wasn't the future she had planned all those years ago. Still, she hadn't heard from him then for four years, why was she still clinging to hope that he'd show up one day, wrap her up in her arms and swear he'd never leave her again. Why was she holding out for such pathetic dream?

When he had proposed with that large diamond, she momentarily forgot him and was wrapped up in the whirlwind of planning her grand wedding. She had been doing her best for the past four years to make it on her own, to not have mommy and daddy foot the bill for everything but as soon as she no longer had to worry…she fell back into the old routine.

Her wedding was the highlight of the season, once more she was the queen of her social circle but even as a wife she was still missing the next step what society deemed as appropriate. The snide remarks from her 'friends' that soon she'd be too old to have children, and that if she didn't want to be an 'old mother' she better start having her babies. Yet, Rangiku had known all along that children were not in her future. She had wanted them at one point but…she knew better now. So she would smile and laugh, and then make a remark about not wanting to have to let out all her dresses and pants. That shut them up.

Still, a few years into their marriage she knew he was questioning the same thing. Why, were their no children? Was it him? Or was it her? He had heard of her partying, of her rebellious streak as a teen and wondered if that had done something to…ruin her. Still, he said nothing; their marriage was meant to be perfect; _they were perfect_. She was his pretty wife and they were happily in love – or at least that was the role they were trying to play. Their marriage was a loveless one, now that the flame had died. There was nothing left but the social repercussion of having a failed marriage.

Finally, she came to a halt. She had made a full circle around the town and ended up in the middle of the town square. She watched as a few friends passed by with jogging strollers, their newest bundle of joy asleep in the expensive mommy-baby workout equipment. She swallowed hard, steel blue hues softening with sadness.

Then just like a dream, as if ten years had melted away and it was that summer again, she heard him call her name. She knew she had been day dreaming about him recently but this was the first time that she had actually heard his voice ring like a ghost from the past. But something inside her – a gut feeling told her turn, to look across the street – she gave in to that feeling and turned.

There standing no more than thirty feet away was the boy – man – who had been constantly on her mind for the last month – alright year, ten years. Her eyes widened as she took a hesitant step towards him. This wasn't a dream – was it? No, that car had stopped to let him cross the street. She could hear his feet against the cement as he walked towards her. Her heart was hammering in her chest as her pace picked up and soon she was standing face to face with the reality of her dreams.

"—Gin, is it really you?"

* * *

A sense of deja-vu hit him like a bullet to the chest. Gin's feet were moving on their own accord as he crossed the street towards her, hand flying out to a car as he walked across the road. Rangiku stood there like some angel, staring at him with wide blue eyes and golden hair blowing around her head like a halo. The sounds of traffic and passer-bys were faraway as he took another step closer to her, designer shoes slapping onto the road noisily.

Images that he'd tried to forget pulled mercilessly through his head as Gin grew nearer. There were those warm evenings, spent under the setting sun with a bottle of cider for them each to share; there were the hot nights as he pulled her under his sheets. And then, of course, the cool mornings when he'd woken up to find Ran's sleeping head resting on his bare chest, sheets barely managing to cover her naked body. Those days were spent languidly - they passed by faster than Gin would've liked. He'd tease her, she'd amuse him; he'd crack a joke and she'd tell him to shut up (which usually involved a kiss). Their teenage days - their golden era - was the time in which he'd felt truly alive.

But it had to stop. University beckoned, and it called from across the country; Gin wasn't going to let the opportunity slip. He was an ambitious man - a man who wanted to prove himself, to show that he could be someone or make something out of himself. Leaving Rangiku behind in his quest for success had been a necessary casualty.

Oh, he could be so heartless when he wanted to be.

His college days were slow and arduous. They wrote for a while, but his strict schedule gave him little time to sit down and take a minute to think of her. They completely lost contact when Gin graduated. But he'd preferred it that way - when he sank into his studies or absorbed himself in his work, his thoughts of Rangiku lessened. He learnt to live with it; his happy pretence quickly grew into a false belief.

Meeting his wife had been the final break from her. It was funny, because she was really nothing like Ran; her hair was dark, and her stature was petite. There wasn't much flesh to her, but she was pretty enough. Her personality was rather bland, but Gin didn't marry her for love. She came from a wealthy background, and he needed to prove to his boss that he a mature man - he wasn't some flaky bachelor with a penchant for hanging onto the past like a lovesick teenager. Their marriage was simply convenient.

But, facing the feelings that he had for so long denied, sent throngs of discomfort thundering through his body. It was quite strange, seeing her all grown up. Rangiku was no longer the young girl he'd once known - she was taller, maybe. Her clothes looked more sophisticated, and her hair style was different. But there was a weariness to her, the same kind that he saw in himself - a lot had changed over these past ten years, and he found himself wondering if she still acted like she had before. Was she still wild, was she the life of the party? Did she still run off on adventures, not caring what her friends and family thought?

Or, had she moved on completely? She must've been married. Maybe she even had children - she used to mention it occasionally, and Gin knew how much pressure her family placed on her to marry into a good family and have kids. God, they'd hated Gin when he showed up. He'd thrown Ran's life into disarray, and he knew it - he took pleasure in seeing the discomforted faces of her parents as he delivered her home after a long and wholly wonderful evening spent at his place.

However, this wasn't the time to be thinking of such things. Her own timid footsteps had closed the gap between them - Gin stood before Rangiku, silver hair slightly dishevelled from the wind and face painted with a half-hearted grin.

"Yeah." Gin said, lamely. Words didn't seem to be coming naturally. "Talk about long time no see."

He laughed it off, but he knew that it was anything but funny. Ten years was a damn long time to not call anyone, and Gin was beginning to feel sheepish. Maybe he could just spin on his heel, yell _it was nice seein' ya!_ and run away again? No. It was too late. He'd already met her eyes - there was no shirking this one off.

* * *

Ten years and she couldn't even squeak out a simple sentence. She was simply standing there with her eyes wide, shocked and in disbelief that she'd find him here – after all these years, at a time when she had been lost in a daydream of those summer nights. All of a sudden, the weight of her wedding band and engagement ring were almost too much to bear.

"—I've been thinking of you lately."'_Damn it Ran, think before you speak!' _"I mean," A nervous laugh emitted from her as she started to fumble around in her purse. She needed to find something, something to make that statement sound a lot less creepy than it did. "I mean, you know because – I just got the invite for the class reunion! Had me thinking back – can you believe it's been ten years." Another forced nervous laugh. Her laughter died shortly after as a small smile took its place on her features.

Silence lingered for a moment or perhaps time had slowed to allow her the chance to appraise him. He was slightly taller, yet still had that same skeletal form about him. The silver locks she had loved to run her fingers through were still the same. His smile – that certainly wasn't the same – it didn't seem as carefree anymore, as if it was forced. Ten years had done a number to them both it seemed, ten years of living lives that may or may not been the ones they had wanted. He had gone off to pursue his dreams and she had fallen under the wings of societal responsibility. This had always been the end result – no matter how much they wanted to rebel, to get away from this ideal little town with its picture perfect Main Street and happy couples they had both ended up here trying to fit that same bill.

She swallowed hard, glancing down at the same between them. Both of them were keeping the other at arm's length – was he as hesitant as she was to reach out and touch the other? She had fantasized about their reunion – their sweet reunion – where she'd run and throw herself into his arms. He'd catch her, swing her around, kiss her and then just hold her to his chest – repeating 'I'll never leave you again' into her golden locks. However, this was a meeting of two strangers – rather than a reunion of former lovers.

"What brought you back here? You finally escaped all those years ago, why come back now?" She forced a charming smile, the same one she'd paint on whenever she was forced into the social scene of this town.

Steel blue hues traveled over his form slowly, glancing instinctively towards his left hand. The sight of the wedding band on his finger caused her to pause. Thankfully, she only had a few minutes to dwell on it when her phone began to vibrate in her purse.

A text from her husband: "_Can't do dinner tonight. Going be at the office late. Love you._"

Her smile instantly fell as she read the message again. This was the third time this week he had bailed on dinner. That normally didn't bother her, she understood that his work meant that they had the life they lived – however, he'd arrive home much later, climb into bed without checking to see if she was awake. She didn't want to think that there was something else going on but she knew never, she couldn't read him.

"Gin," Dropping the phone back into her purse she smiled, "If you aren't busy, perhaps we can grab lunch? It's been ten years; this place has changed a bit. I can show you around and we can catch up." She tried to sound cheerful, smile and play the part she was meant to play. But eerie flashes of their former life were clouding her vision. She'd look at him and see the boy who she loved, who she still loved. Was that little boy left inside him at all?

When he looked at her did he see her younger self? The one who didn't hold the burden of a failed housewife and the possibility of a failing marriage on her shoulders? Did he like what he saw before him? Was she still beautiful to him? She was still young after all. Brushing a few strains of golden locks out of her eyes, she rested her bag on her shoulder and turned towards the small cafes that lined the city square.

"Shall we?" Her tone was light and carefree but held that slight seductive charm that she had always used against him when they were younger. She hadn't heard that tone since him, oh how quickly her former self was once more budding through by simply seeing him. He may not have been the boy but he was still the man she had always regrettably loved.

* * *

The silence stretching between them was uncomfortable and awkward, and it pressed down on Gin's shoulders like a heavyweight. Shuffling around on his feet slightly, he searched for something - _anything_ - to say to her, yet nothing seemed suitable in his head; he just about managed to stop his mouth from opening and closing like a gormless fish.

But Rangiku's sweet, quiet voice snapped him out of his distress instantly. With eyebrows raised, Gin dwelled on her words - her discomfort and nervousness felt so foreign to him. The summer they'd spent together as teenagers had been completely different; to be around Ran used to be so easy. His smiles and his usual teasing nature came naturally; it felt strange to have that long lost smirk crossing his features once again. He didn't remember the last time he had felt his cheeks stretching like that.

Gin was ready to make a witty comment, ready to be himself again - but the flash of a diamond on her left hand as she rummaged through her bag startled him. An expensive-looking engagement ring and golden wedding band sparkled from her finger, shiny metal catching in the sun. Of course she was married; Gin would've been surprised if she wasn't. Yet, a feeling of disappointment made his lips quirk back into a neutral line. He could just imagine her husband - handsome, rich, and entirely bland, without a doubt. Inwardly sneering, he supposed they must've had plenty of children by now.

But who was he to feel this way? Gin had left _her_, after all. Rangiku had obviously moved on, and so had he - he shouldn't have had a problem with it. He'd dealt with this years ago - their time together was merely a fond memory, nothing more and nothing less. He'd long since convinced himself that those days didn't really matter to him any more.

As far as Gin felt like he should have been concerned, Matsumoto Rangiku was a stranger. Ten years was a long amount of time, and a lot could happen. Beating down his feelings of frustration, Gin focused his attention back onto Ran's voice. He knew that he'd hurt her when he left - he supposed that this was just as much of a shock for Ran as it was for him, if not more so.

"City life wasn't suitin' me," he lied simply, not failing to notice the forced smile across her face. For some reason, the idea of telling her about his wife filled his stomach with dread. "Decided to come back to settle down, y'know?"

Their meagre small talk was interrupted by a beeping phone. Instinctively, he patted his jacket pocket, but his pale, bony hand halted against his heart as she pulled out her own new, expensive model. A look of disappointment flashed across her face as she read the text - Gin wondered idly if it was her husband. His arms fell back to his sides, feeling strangely heavy.

He half-expected her to say that she had to go; he wanted her to. He felt wholly uncomfortable, not being on the upper-hand. This unease building up in his chest made him want to run back to his car and drive far, far away until he reached the safe, busy centre of the city again. When the hell had he ever thought that moving back might have been a good idea?

"Lunch?" Gin repeated, face passive. It wasn't a good idea; of course it wasn't. She was married, he was married, and he really didn't think he could bear the discomfort. But Rangiku had that look on her face - a twinkle in her eye, a hopeful tone to her question.

He would be the first to admit that he'd been wrapped around Rangiku's little finger for the better part of their time together. She just needed to use that voice with him; it was lower, seductive, and made a stupid grin fall across his pale features all too easily. Gin felt like a teenager again as she turned to walk away, glancing at him from over her shoulder with a small, expectant smile on her face. Before he knew it, his feet were following after her, hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Yeah," A laugh bubbled out from him as easy as air as he met Ran's pace. God, he hadn't chuckled like that in a while. He grinned, tone of voice sounding surprisingly carefree and teasing. "I guess I could stop fer a minute."

There were plenty of cafes around to choose from, although Gin didn't recognise any from when he'd last been in town. Rangiku would've known better than him, of course, so he let her lead the way. It felt strange, walking besides her - the youthful face she'd once had was thinner, more matured. She looked like a woman, and a beautiful one at that. Gin lost himself for a moment, eyes cracked open as he observed the subtle changes in her face, her body. He was fascinated.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEWWWW**


	3. Chapter 2

He had actually agreed to her proposal of lunch – which was a bit of surprise. She was certain she had caught not one or two, but rather a few flashes of disappointment, apprehension, and mild shock in his expression. She wondered if his wife could read him like she had – well still could. Could she make him grin from ear to ear, make him laugh, could she see behind the mask that Gin Ichimaru had always displayed to the world – could she see into his eyes and see the very soul that he kept hidden from the rest of the world, or was she as foolish as the rest of them?

Gin had fascinated her all those years ago. They had lived in the same town all their lives but had never once crossed paths until that faithful evening. It was another society function, late in the spring season; the families of the town were all mulling about – adults in one area of the community green and the teenagers in another. This had been early into Rangiku's slight rebellious stage, rather than the pretty sundresses that all the girls her own age were wearing Ran had opted for something a bit more daring. Her parents had frowned on the idea, but she had countered their demands to change with 'I'm wearing this, or I won't go.'

She had been standing off to the side with the few friends that were still willing to associate with her –dressed like that – when she had caught sight of a flash of silver moving through the green. Instantly her eyes had been drawn to the features of the boy that the unique locks belonged to. Her heart skipped a beat, her cheeks instantly flushed and pushing her way through her two friends' mid-sentence she strode across the green after the boy.

Why had she never seen him before? How many of these stupid functions had she attended in her life time? Far too many to count, or remember. Perhaps she had never bothered to glance in his direction. Up until now she had been following the social standards of, tall, dark, and handsome as the only suitable male to speak with. After all – they would be the best husbands, best fathers, and creature the perfect constant against her sun kissed, blonde hair, blue eyes features.

She disregarded the little groups of teens mulling and sipping virgin cocktails, cutting through them until she reached the boy. She was about to reach out to him, grab his shoulder and force him to look at her when she was bumped into from behind. She stumbled forward, shoulder slamming into his side and unexpectedly landing in his arms. He was quick, however he had managed to turn around and rescue the falling girl was besides her. It was then that she first saw those piercing blue hues staring down at her. She knew her cheeks must have been flushed from chasing after him but she was sure he took it in another way completely. His voice was like silver as well, matching that strange hue of his locks. He questioned if she was alright, helping her up and allowing his fingers to remain on her wrist a bit longer than socially acceptable. It thrilled her. He thrilled her.

Neither of them left the other the rest of that night, they snuck out of the party, stealing a single cocktail for the two of them and went to stargaze. They laughed, they talked, they teased, they kissed. For once in Ran's life she felt alive. That was beginning of that magical summer.

That was all a distant memory now, the man walking beside her was not the same free spirited, devilish teen that he had once been – even if she suspected that that side of his personality was simply buried under the perfect exterior they all were meant to have.

His reason from returning hadn't eluded her; 'settle down' was the normal reason to return to the suburbs when a couple wanted to start a family. It was so much easier to do that here, rather than in the big city. Had Gin finally fallen into social pressure to raise the standard two and a half brats – she meant kids – have the perfect yard with the white picket fence and the dog? Was that what he was coming back here to do? Or was he only doing this to please his wife? She could see and sense the strain on him, the weight he was carrying on his shoulders, the burden he was baring. It was eerily similar to the one she knew she carried.

Directing him across the city square she arrived at a charming little bistro. All the tables within were currently filled with other diners, so rather than wait she opted for the empty patio sitting for the two of them. She took her seat, placing her purse under the table and brushed back her dress. Placing her elbows on the table she folded her hands together and rested her chin on the bridge she had creatures. Leveling her gaze on the man before her she spoke the words that turned her stomach as the waiter came to place two waters on the table, and offered them 'a minute to look things over.'

"So what's her name?"

She knew she didn't want to ask him about his wife, she knew she didn't want to talk about her husband – however they couldn't just sit there with the elephant in the room this whole meal. It would be better to get the painful discussion out of the way so they could put it behind them. Frankly, if she had her way, she'd just stare at him this whole meal in silence, taking in every inch of his features and taking it to memory.

She wasn't sure what compelled her to speak further; perhaps it was the silence that was clinging to them both. Dropping her hands to her lap, she instantly became that teen once again, the same haughty tone she would use against him whenever she didn't get her way.

"Do you love her?"

She knew her eyes flashed her own answer to the reverse of that question. 'Do you love him Ran? Your husband, do you love him.' The answer was simply, 'No. Not like I love you.'

* * *

They walked together quietly, and Gin finally peeled his eyes away from Rangiku to glance at the square and its other inhabitants. Things hadn't really changed. Of course, some of the buildings were different, and no doubt the people he used to know had older faces. But it was still essentially identical to his memories - there were still those perfect couples strolling around together, still groups of yummy mummies coddling their babies, still teenagers mooching around outside the shops with nothing to do.

The days he had spent here as a kid seemed like eons ago, yet, standing next to Rangiku now, he felt like that same foolish teen. It was like he'd been thrown back in time: there was the same people, the same surroundings, and - more significantly - the same feelings. While things were certainly not the same between them, Gin was surprised as he realised how much he'd missed the sound of her voice.

As they sat down outside an expensive-looking restaurant, the silver-haired man subconsciously twisted his wedding band around his finger. The few moments before a waiter came to give them each a menu was strained and awkward. Questions were sitting on the tip of Gin's tongue, waiting to be thrown across to her. Who was the lucky guy? Would he recognise the name? Did they have children? Is she happy with him?

Gin's face remained passive as he looked over the menu with narrowed eyes. The meals all had names that he couldn't pronounce - this food was nothing like the cheap and cheerful grub they used to share with each other before. Glancing up at Rangiku again, he registered her fancy jewellery and well manicured appearance. The guy must be rich, to be able to buy her all of those niceties. Did she marry him because of his wealth? Or did she feel a deep connection with him? He inwardly scoffed; it wasn't his place to ask. Gin stubbornly told himself was glad that she seemed to be well-looked after - that sinking feeling in his stomach was most certainly _not_ jealously.

Their water came quickly, and the waiter scurried off into the kitchen quickly with a look on his face as though even he could feel the tension sizzling between them. The lack of conversation was overwhelmingly heavy - he had to say something. Anything. But, as Gin's mouth opened to speak, Ran beat him to it.

"Her?" And then his wife's image snapped to the forefront of his mind. "Oh."

Oh God, he didn't want to talk about her. As pretty and as kind as Gin knew she was, the sudden remembrance of her existence threw him. Had he really been that absorbed in Rangiku? Talking about his wife to her seemed so desperately wrong - he didn't want to admit he'd moved on. But, that _was_ the truth… Wasn't it? Gin had been sure things were going great; he had a fabulous income, a beautiful house, and a good wife who was practical for his needs. Yet, facing Rangiku - facing the past and the happiness he'd once had - brought feelings of doubt and confusion to his head.

"She's called Aiko," Gin painted on his usual empty smile and took a sip of his water. "Niece o' some businessman I worked with a few years back."

Gin thought that his answer was going to be enough. He didn't want Rangiku to delve any further - he certainly didn't want to be put on the spot like he had been. _Do you love her_? His thoughts ground to a halt as he rapidly processed her question.

The routine answer usually slipped out as easy as air. As a man who was fairly public in the press, due to being an executive at one of the biggest companies in the world, the answer '_yes_' was simply mandatory. He'd learnt to live with the lie; he held her arm and kissed her cheek at charity events. He'd said his vows at the altar and grinned for the wedding photos. He'd lie oh so effortlessly as he crawled into bed next to her every night - he'd make love to her occasionally, when the excuses ran out (but the act would be by no means considered anything more than a chore). He couldn't deny that theirs was a marriage of convenience - to secure a deal between two businesses; to maintain Gin's good name.

Nevertheless, facing Rangiku made his words catch in his throat. It was the way he looked at her - her eyes were downcast and there was this look on her face that made his heart sink. Perhaps Gin had forgotten how much of a hold Ran had once had on him; perhaps she _still_ had it on him.

But facial expressions aside, Rangiku's tone of voice was the thing that really jarred him. It was condescending, and made an unexplainable guilt shoot through his heart, almost as if he was cheating on her. But that was ridiculous, Gin wasn't cheating on Ran by being with his wife - they hadn't been together in ten years, after all. Then, why did he feel so full of remorse?

It was with mild horror that Gin realised that he was stuck in the past. Sitting across from Rangiku - beautiful, wonderful, perfect Rangiku - seemed to send him back in time to an era in which nothing seemed to really matter. His 'ideal' life with his wife and his company seemed like a faraway dream as he stared at her now; Gin felt like someone had slapped him across the face. He guessed that was reality hitting hard. After all, discovering that he'd wasted ten years chasing after a life that his heart had never even wanted certainly hurt his pride.

Gin felt like a stranger in his own body; everything that he had ever dreamed of, all the success he'd strived for, all of a sudden felt meaningless.

"It's…" Gin couldn't lie to her, but he could laugh it off. "… Complicated."

The waiter arrived back to take their order - he took what Rangiku was having. After a moment, they were plunged into the silence again. Gin smiled a little too widely and gestured towards her sparkling ring.

"What about yerself?" _Is your life as much of a mess as mine apparently is?_ "Are ya happy?" _Or do ya wish things were like they were before again?_

* * *

Complicated? Complicated how – complicated like her marriage or was it something more? Did Gin's wife no longer love him the same way he loved her? Was she only following the social standards that Rangiku was forcing herself to abide by as well? Was Gin in love with her but she wasn't interested any longer? Or was it that Gin didn't love her. Was their marriage nothing more than a shame? Was he simply keeping the appearance for work? Was she wealthier than him? Was there something to lose? Or was it complicated due to a family, possibly a growing family and neither of the two parties wished to throw in the towel. They would rather force themselves to smile and laugh and create the perfect picture to the world when both were miserable. Was it better to pretend to be happy that to live with the social stigma of a divorcé hanging over your head?

She had to ask herself that same question – would she be happier to be shunned from the social circles, struggle and be single than to go through the daily routine of an unhappy marriage. To be questioned and judged by all eyes as to why she didn't have a baby on one hip and a growing belly than to simply live the life she had always wanted – a free one. To no longer wear that huge diamond and the circular band that claimed her as his. Could she throw it all away to just be happy? Rather than live with the burden of trying to smile everyday and love a man she didn't feel a connection with any longer.

_"Are you happy?"_

His words were like a knife to her chest. Happy – no; willing to put on the brave face – somewhat. She had the prepared answer, 'Yes, we've been married for almost six years; hopefully a baby will soon be on the way. He's a banker, very busy man but we have a good life' on the tip of her tongue but as she opened her mouth to speak the wrong words began to pour out – she prayed silently thanking whatever god above that they were out here alone.

"No." Emotion clung to her words, dripped from it just as her eyes began to slowly water. She didn't want to cry in front of him but it was Gin. Gin had witnessed her cry plenty of times – but then it had been tears of laughter, of joy. It had been when he tickled her in the grass, when he had loved her, when he told a dirty joke in front of the prude people they had once called friends. She had laughed, smiled, she had felt carefree – where had all that gone? She didn't even cry when he had left. She stood there, watching his car drive off into the distance with a brave face, fighting back any emotion that would register as disappointment and sadness.

"I'm not. Don't get me wrong, Haru is a great guy but…He's older than me. He showed up when I was at a bit of a rough patch in my life. He offered me the life I was expected to live. The jewelry, the clothes, the large house. I don't have to work, because I should be raising a family but…" The words were hard to choke back just then. "…That isn't what I want and I can't give him the family he wants." There was more but suddenly her mouth felt desert dry.

She turned her steel blue hues on the male before him, she had spilled all those pent up emotions, and everything she had kept back – the mask she wore for the social circles had cracked and fallen to her lap. A single tear ran down her cheeks just as the waiter returned. She could sense the shock on his features and quickly brushing away the tear with her hand she reached over placing her hand lightly on Gin's forearm and laughed – she laughed a perfect contrived laugh.

"Too funny! I forgot how dirty yet funny your jokes were!" She breathed a sigh of relief as if she was coming down from a joyous emotional high and turned a bright smile to the waiter as their food was place in front of them. The poor child looked conflicted – he could sense the tension but the female before him turned a gaze on him that told him just to walk away and he obeyed.

The smile remained for a moment, as she glanced towards the gentlemen sitting across from her. She was sure he would have been shocked by her outburst – confessing her heart to him before laughing with a lie – she was certainly keeping her appearance up. There wasn't supposed to be any cracks, any unhappiness in a marriage like hers. Yet, clearly, in those now tearful eyes there was nothing but unhappiness.

She took a sip of water and as the glass came back to rest on the table, the smile had faded. There was something worse now twisting inside her. The feeling of his skin still lingered on her fingers. Instantly her mind shot back to their summer together. Did his lips still taste the same; was his body still as muscular and lean as it had once been? What did it feel like…to be with him again? They had been young and foolish – what would it be like now, to lay with him like she lay with her husband. Could he love her the way he had been then – ten years ago? Could he still make her cry out his name in a moment of passion?

She swallowed hard, suddenly glancing away from him. She had to control herself and control those thoughts. She was a married woman – he a married man. Those thoughts should and would never cross her mind ever again – but they couldn't leave her. She turned her hues on him once more and all she could think would be considered inappropriate. _'Control yourself, Ran.'_ She reprimanded herself mentally. She needed to be a lady, they were after all still out in public.

* * *

Rangiku's answer was one that made Gin's heart plummet towards the ground. There was no running, now. At least if she was happy with her life, he could leave with a guilt-free conscious; he could move back to the city with his wife and once again fall into the same, monotonous routine, blindly believing that Rangiku was enjoying her life.

The Ran he'd known had always been the epitome of happiness. She'd been a young, high-spirited girl whose smile had been brighter than the sun; her beauty and variable personality had amazed him all those years ago. Gin's thoughts, even now, had always drifted back to her - he was an idiot, to think that his feet weren't going to drag him back one day. But seeing her choke on her words, and seeing those eyes filled with such a regretful melancholy, Gin knew that he wouldn't be able to go again. He needed to make things right. He needed Rangiku to smile, even if it was not for him.

With a sudden clarity as clear as the teardrop sliding down her cheek, Gin realised what he wanted. The money, the job, his life in the city... It all meant nothing. For years and years, his heart had slowly grown colder, ice forming over it like an impenetrable shield. Yet, it only took Ran's very presence to melt it, pure water washing over his heart like a wave. It left behind the truth, and a deep, insatiable longing to be with her.

It took a huge amount of effort to stop his hand from reaching out to her. Gin knew the waiter would be arriving with their food soon, and there were others watching - it would not do either of them well to be spotted caressing one another. After all, the truth of the matter was that they were both off-limits, and rumours were spread easily and quickly around a close-knit community like this.

If only Gin had snapped out of this cloud of deception earlier. If only he had waited, if only he had thought a little harder about what he wanted back then when he first left. His mind had been frazzled - he hadn't wanted to leave Rangiku, of course not. But the idea of making a name for himself, of escaping this town and it's cliche ideals, had sounded like paradise. Gin had never been one to fit the social norm, and neither had Rangiku. That's what he had loved - still loved - about her.

The waiter soon arrived, and was shocked to see a tear streaming down Ran's soft cheek. She waved it off impressively, a well-practiced fake laugh bubbling from her lips as she squeezed his arm. And was that lightning that had just thundered through his body? Where her fingers had pressed against his skin left tingles as sudden, vivid memories raced through his head. Nights spent with her nails dug hard into his shoulder blades and her legs wrapped around his waist came into the forefront of Gin's mind; he could still hear her crying out his name as he tenderly kissed her neck.

Quickly, he gulped down the remaining drops of his water - those thoughts were wholly unsuitable. After all, they were both married, albeit unhappily, to separate people. The very idea of sleeping with another woman, even if it was Rangiku, was ridiculous; he couldn't risk his reputation. Yet, Gin's pale blue eyes wouldn't stop flicking down to look at her soft, pink lips. Were her kisses as mindblowing as they used to be? Would they still part to breathe his name and other sweet nothings into his ear?

There was an ache in the pit of his stomach that instantly took away his hunger. He wanted to be selfish. He wanted to ditch the goddamn food, grab her wrist and kiss her, but that wasn't going to happen. Not here, and not now, after ten years. Gin was feeling suitably stunned at the amount of emotions that had raced through him over the course of half an hour. He felt exhilarated - seeing Rangiku sitting in front of him, silhouetted by the pearly sunlight, was like a holy vision.

But what the hell could he do? Shout out that he still loved her and whisk her away into cloud cuckooland, where nothing else mattered? They weren't teenagers anymore. Being an adult was a heavy burden to bear - there were reputations to uphold, other parties to think about. But Gin knew that he could make Rangiku happy, and perhaps that was what hurt the most.

Pushing his plate away from him, he leaned towards her. His thin hands were gripping the edge of their table so hard that his knuckles were almost white, and his face fell into a small but longing frown. Trying not to make a scene, Gin spoke quickly and quietly.

"Rangiku," he said softly, her name rolling off of his tongue as easy as air. As he met her eyes, he searched desperately for words, fighting down the temptation to just let the truth spill out carelessly. Had the past ten years even happened? It sure as hell didn't feel like it. "I'm sorry."

_I'm sorry that you aren't happy. I'm sorry that I can't make things right again. I'm sorry for never writing. I'm sorry for being an idiot and leaving in the first place._

He really shouldn't have agreed to lunch. Standing up and ignoring the loud noise of his chair scraping against the floor, Gin reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out one hundred dollars. That should be more than enough to cover the expenses of their lunch. He really needed to get back to his house and have a damn cold shower. Of course, he'd rather sink into her arms again, but that was out of the question.

"... I should probably go, Ran." Gin said, feeling immensely tired. Carefully, and against his better judgement, he squeezed her shoulder as he began to walk away. He paused when he felt her hair brush against his fingertips - he didn't _want_ to leave by himself. Aiko was visiting her sister for the weekend; it's not like anybody would know if Rangiku came for tea. And it would be tea, and nothing else - they needed somewhere to talk privately, and this restaurant full of keen gossipers was certainly not that. Taking a deep breath, he smiled down at her. "Do ya have somewhere to be soon?"

* * *

**please leave a review, even if you don't have an account~! the co-author and I would really appreciate it. x3**


End file.
