Harry Potter 1. Narnia Fanatic

**Disclaimer: **J.K. Rowling owns the wonderful world of Harry Potter, duh!

**Authors Note:** Story takes place during PoA. Came up with this while watching a Spanish Music Video called 'La Confusion' by a Spanish band called Lu. I suppose it's about bad relationships. Rated M for later chapters I suppose. Her thoughts are in Italics, although some might just be flashbacks, but I trust your intelligence will tell you the difference.

**Summary:** Jadis had already embarked down that path, gotten too close to a teacher, loved him and got burned. But with her seventh year and a new Dart Arts Professor, she feels like she didn't learn her lesson the first time around. Lupin/OC.

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 1: Narnia Fanatic**_

Jadis made her way towards Kings Cross alone. She wasn't an independent person by choice, she would have liked her parents to be there for her, but they never were. Often times it made her feel very lonely. Actually, she always felt lonely. She overcompensated for this by surrounding herself with people, however, that never helped. At least she figured it was better to feel lonely when surrounded by people than to feel lonely and be by alone.

She figured that would be crippling, as was now the point as she made her way down to Platform Nine and three-quarters. Well she had her cat Neji, but like was often the case he was sleeping in his cage. _Lazy thing! Should be awake keeping me company! It's not as if he hasn't spent the whole day sleeping so far, and it's not like he won't be sleeping for the rest of it!_

Her parents had dropped her off over an hour and a half early, so when she stepped onto the platform she wasn't exactly surprised to see that no one was really there. However, she was mortified when she came through on the other side that she'd rammed someone with her trunk. "Ouch!" she heard a rather mild mannered voice say.

Jadis chewed down on her lower lip. "I'm sorry," she said to the man as he turned around. He was holding a hand to his lower back; his already pallid, tired and jaded face looked like it was under more stress than it previously had. Jadis watched the man, who had a handsome and mostly youthful face turned around to fix her a stern look. "You really shouldn't just be standing here, you know."

"I didn't think anyone would be here so early," he said, his brow still furrowed as he rubbed his back. "It's quite early, why are you here?"

Jadis looked into the man's amber colored eyes and his brown hair; small amounts of grey hairs were making their ways into his silky locks. She looked at the man in his tattered robes and thought how she would rather not have to answer _that_ question. "Don't mean to be rude but what are _you_ doing _here?"_

Remus stared at the girl that stood before him. She had black, silky hair that was tied up in a sloppy bun that he thought that she might have fixed rather a half-hazard or in a lazy manner. On either side of her very pretty face, strands of short hair that escaped the bun fell to her chin. However, he noted that the strand on the right was a rather deep shade of red. Almost looked like wine.

The girl had a very striking pair of black eyes that looked like they were smoldering with something beneath their surface that did not reach her calm and serene façade. Black, sleek brows arched over her large, almond shaped eyes and over long, thick, curly black lashes that only enhanced the beauty of her eyes. Remus almost wondered if she was of Spanish descent.

She was clothed in a long pair of blue jeans that had rips at the knees and were frayed at the bottom. She wore a black pair of canvas sneakers that he knew were very popular amongst muggles, which were called 'Chucks'. She also wore a plain black t-shirt that was almost form fitting, but a slightly bigger than her petite form. However, he guessed by her height, which was up to his nose, that she was a seventh year.

"I'm the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, Professor Lupin," he said, reaching out a hand to shake with hers. She smiled at him slightly, though clearly still slightly embarrassed by the fact that she'd rammed into him.

Remus looked down as he saw that the girl had her right hand bandaged with a white ribbon, covering her palm, knuckles and part of her wrist. He furrowed a brow, wondering if she were injured, but did not ask. He also noted that her fingers were rather long, just like her arms, legs and neck, and that the tips of her nails were black.

"Well I hope you're much better than who Professor Dumbledore hired last year, Lockheart was a joke," Jadis replied, rolling her eyes. Remus had to smile at this. Jadis soon turned her gaze back to him and smiled. "My name is Jadis Luna and this is my cat Neji," she said, pointing to the cage with her left hand.

Remus looked at her other arm and noted that her right arm was bandaged with a white, silk ribbon as well, however from wrist to halfway down her forearm. "Jadis Luna?" Remus asked, turning his gaze away from her arm and feeling very rude for staring, however, he wondered if the girl was injured or if it was just part of her wardrobe.

Jadis looked a little sheepish. "My mother loved C. S. Lewis' Narnia Chronicles, and she named me after the White Witch," Jadis said with a shrug. _I would be okay with her constant abandonment if she'd have named me after someone who wasn't evil,_ Jadis inwardly groaned to herself, feeling the child within her petulantly stomping her foot. She snapped her head out of her thoughts and realized that Lupin was still looking at her questioningly. "Umm… She was an evil character…"

"OH, no, I know what you're talking about but I've never heard of the name Luna as a last name," Remus said as he looked at her.

"Oh… well my father is from Spain and that isn't a very uncommon last name," Jadis replied. Lupin smiled at her.

"So do you know how to speak Spanish?" he asked mildly.

Jadis blushed. _Did he have to ask?_ "Umm… well yes, but it sounds kind of funny," she replied. "I suppose I have a bit of an accent as well…" _He's hardly ever around_, her mind growled the rest of the sentence. "We primarily speak English at home." _If by we I mean me and the walls of my room!_

"I see… so will you be taking my class, Jadis?" Remus asked. Jadis smiled brightly up at him, thankful for the change in subject. Normally, she didn't speak about her life at home to anyone at all. The most she had ever told her friends about her parents was that she had them and that her father came from an old Pureblood family in Spain. However, as a Slytherin she never mentioned that her mother was a muggle born witch.

"Yes! I received an 'O' in my OWLs, actually in most of them," she replied as she looked at him. Remus smiled at her.

"That's great. You must be in Ravenclaw than," he said as he looked at her. Jadis frowned slightly.

"Ravenclaws aren't the only bright students, their just nerds," Jadis said, feeling offended. She sighed as she forced herself to calm down before she had another slightly angry outburst. "I'm too lazy to be a Ravenclaw and my attention tends to wander… I'm actually in Slytherin."

"Ah," Remus said, not wanting to be too disappointed. He tried to smile when he noted that she seemed to be slightly offended by his reply. "I see, for the cunning and ambitious."

"I'm neither, I'm very lazy," Jadis said as she scratched her neck nervously with her left hand. Remus furrowed his brow as he noted that her fingernails on the left hand did not have black nail-polish. Jadis seemed to realize this and she smiled. "I fell asleep before I had the chance to finish, see my point."

Remus chuckled lightly at this. He surely hoped that Jadis would be of great entertainment in his class. "Well, out of interest Jadis, what other classes are you taking?"

"Herbology, Charms, Transfigurations, Defense Against the Dark Arts, obviously, History of Magic, Astronomy and…" Jadis felt herself faltering and her heart begin to thud very hard so that she could hardly think. _STOP IT, YOU STUPID SILLY THING!_ _OH GOD, I'm TEARING UP! NO, I'm OVER IT! _"Potions," she ended up mumbling.

"I see, quite the heavy course load. How did you do last year?" Remus asked.

"Fine… I have to go. It was very nice meeting you Professor Lupin and I can't wait for our first class," Jadis said, smiling up briefly at him before heading away and nearly running onto the train, her things following behind her. She darted into one of the first compartments she found on the other side of the train and wondered how in the word she would manage to make it through his class when she'd hardly been able to survive the summer.

**TBC…**


	2. Mondays! WHY MONDAYS?

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 2: Mondays! WHY MONDAYS?**_

"Are you all right Jadis, you look like you are going to upchuck," Jadis looked over at her best friend Matt Jacobs. She could hardly stand the girls from Slytherin and therefore had opted for making an immature, but very cute boy her best friend. She guessed now that the only girl that she could consider a friend was his girlfriend.

Pamela Dimple, like her boyfriend Matt, had straight, golden blonde hair and bright pair of blue eyes. You would almost think that they were related as they are both so gorgeous and far too good natured to be in Slytherin. However, while Pamela was shy, very quiet and sweet, her boyfriend was the complete opposite. He was loud, sometimes rude, very boisterous, and energetic and couldn't take anything seriously.

While Pamela had a very small sweet, smile, it was so uncertain. Matt's smile spread larger than the expanse of the lake. And of course, Matt was fully aware that he was good looking and sometimes arrogant about it, while Pamela was completely unaware that she was one of the prettiest girls in the whole seventh year.

Jadis had known Pamela from their first year, however, she'd never really spoken to her very much. She did protect Pamela from the bossier and bitchier Slytherin girls, but she was far from being the weak girl's best friend. She guessed however, that had changed in their fourth year when to everyone's surprise, and even to Jadis', Matt started to date her.

It upset Jadis to no end. Not because she had any interest in Matt romantically. She shivered at the very thought of it. No, it was because he hadn't said anything to her about his feelings and he was her best friend! However, he supposed that all of the girls in Slytherin he could have picked, he'd certainly picked the pick of the litter. In fact, he had picked probably one of the best girls in Hogwarts.

"Snape's coming," she grimaced as she saw their Head of House was starting to pass out the schedules. Matt looked over at Snape and shrugged.

"That's what he's supposed to do," he stated. Jadis merely stared down at her plate, feeling she had turned completely chalk white. _God how am I supposed to make it a full year in his class, if I can't even look at him without falling apart!_

"Where is Pamela?" Jadis suddenly asked, turning an accusatory glance at her best friend, like he'd murdered her or something. Pamela always made things better. For some reason or other, watching Pamela being nervous and fidgety calmed her down, made her feel braver.

"Chill wicked White Witch, she's coming. She said she was going to the bathroom. Jadis, you didn't go Lezzer on us and fall for my girlfriend did you?" Matt asked sounding completely serious, but she could see the joking sparkle in his mischievously gorgeous blue eyes. Jadis looked over at her friend, Snape slipping out of her mind as she fixed Matt an are-you-stupid glare.

"NO I HAVEN'T GONE LEZZER!" she growled loudly, calling the attention of almost every student sitting nearby. She ignored all the eyes that were staring at her as she gazed at Matt, wishing to choke him. "Why do you say such stupid things?"

"Well you haven't had a mate in… well the seven years you been here," he said, still feigning complete and utter seriousness.

_Yes I have!_ Her mind roared. However, the sharp pang that returned to her heart didn't want to be reminded of _that_ particular failure. She suddenly wondered if she had actually been born lesbian if she would have been better off. After all Matt was the perfect example of what was wrong with men and Pam the perfect example of why women were superior. She groaned almost wishing she would have been a lesbian so she would have never fallen for…

"Luna, your schedule," said a cold and cruel voice behind her, causing an unpleasant shiver to run through her. She didn't even turn to look at him as she took her schedule and muttered a 'thank you, sir'. She didn't dare look up at him as he handed Matt his and buried her face deep into her schedule.

_Herbology, free period, lunch, Charms, Transfiguration. GREAT MONDAY,_ she thought sarcastically and than noted that she would have to be up at one in the morning to go to Astronomy. She sighed, why couldn't she just have two classes on Mondays instead of three? Astronomy didn't count as that was technically Tuesday.

"Matt, I'll see you later," Jadis said, getting up from the table shoving her schedule into her bag without bothering to look at the rest of the week. She usually hated to have Herbology so early in the morning. She wasn't particularly good at it and merely took it because she supposed it was a very important class.

"Later!"

---

"I thought you were taking Potions," Pamela asked as she looked down at Jadis' schedule as they exited Charms together along with Matt. Jadis looked over at his friends' girlfriend, and she supposed her friend too. Charms was the first class they had together. Neither of them had taken Herbology.

"I am," Jadis said, looking over at Pamela confused.

"Not according to this," Pamela replied, handing Jadis back her schedule. Jadis looked down at her schedule and skimmed the whole chart. She was slightly taken aback to see that there was nothing there. Suddenly she came to a stop, staring down at the chart, her hands shaking. It was a good thing she'd expected something like this.

"Hey, tell McGonagall I'll be running late, that I had to go see Professor Snape about a problem in my schedule," she said as she suddenly turned around and headed towards the dungeons. It was a good thing she wasn't a trusting person, she thought as she headed down to the dungeons.

_It had been a rather miserable year so far and didn't seem to be getting any better. However, despite all the hype and terror that was sweeping through Hogwarts, Jadis couldn't help but notice how Snape started to look at her. She had always had a crush on him, mainly because he was so very good at Potions and something about her was sick and twisted._

_He'd always been particularly nice to her. Well nice isn't the word, but he was respectful of her, he never insulted her, and he even praised her for her work. Of course, every now and then he gave her detention when she deserved it or snapped at her for spacing out, but it was safe to say that if Snape ever had a favorite, she was definitely it. _

_However, that had always been the case. Something had changed though. Through the wretchedness that was her sixth year, Snape had become far more bearable with her. She even caught him staring at her when he thought that she wasn't looking, but she always knew. It was impossible not to feel his eyes burning into her. _

_She was determined for something to happen, because she'd fallen in love and she wanted something to happen. She was her usual self, but tried to be around him as often as possible. Showed her a side to her that no one else saw. The vulnerability that she hid so well, beyond her happiness and out of reach._

_He hadn't pulled away from her showing this side, and it emboldened her. It was the reason she'd learned that spell. It was the reason she'd cast it and he couldn't help it, couldn't resist her skin. However, it wasn't lecherous. It was sweet. Even now as she stared at the palm of her right hand, a white-hot outline of a pair of lips, she could still smile at the innocence of what they'd embarked upon and it was evidence beyond a doubt that he loved her, because she was marked by loves first kiss. _

"_Jadis," he'd said her name so softly in the darkness of the hallway. "You know you are not supposed to be out, it's very dangerous times," Severus said as he neared her. Jadis had slowly turned away from the window she was looking out of and turned her teary gaze to her Head of House. _

"_They won't really send us home will they? They can't, I can't go home! What will I do?" she asked, her voice cracking as a tear slid down her face. She couldn't go home. She needed to stay at Hogwarts, the only place where she felt like anyone gave a damn about what she was doing. _

_She turned away from his and sagged against the windowpane pressing her hands against it. She looked at her bandaged left hand, it had all started just for attention, but even that couldn't get her any. _Do I have to die for them to notice me, do I have to completely bleed to death for them to see me?_ Suddenly, she'd felt him grab her hand in both of his, bring it to his mouth and he placed a kiss on the inside of her palm. _

_Jadis had turned and looked at Snape with a small smile, her eyes staring into his and wondering if hers were sparkling as much as his. She guessed that more so as she'd been crying. However, there was something tender and fierce in his eyes at the same time and it confused her to no end what hid in the depths of those usually cold tunnels. _

"_I see you Jadis," he whispered against her palm._

Jadis came to a stop before the dungeon and stepped into the classroom. She swept to the front of the class where Snape was bent over something on his desk. "Professor Snape," she said, calling his attention to her, for the first time she looked into his eyes. She shivered at the coldness she saw there as he glared at her and she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

_I WONT cry in front of YOU,_ she thought as she blinked angrily and balled her hands into fist, inadvertently crumbling her schedule a bit. "Luna, what are you doing here?" he asked coldly, turning away from her like she was of no importance. She briefly looked around the classroom and noted that they were alone for the moment.

"You pulled me out of your Potions class sir, and I want to know why when I have no intention of dropping it," she said as she glared at him.

"Yes, but I have no intention in keeping you," he said, intending his words to have a double meaning and cutting her. She flinched momentarily, however showed him her schedule.

"You have no reason to kick me out of your class, put me back in," she demanded, still trying to blink away the tears. Snape looked up at her and raised a brow. However, he sneered as he gazed at her, obviously enjoying the effect he still had on her too much to really care for the fact that she was trying to boss him around.

"I happen to think I have a very good reason," he replied very coldly, murmuring so softly she hardly heard him. She rubbed furiously at her eyes as her damn tears did not allow her to see very well. She was vaguely aware of the sound of foosteps behind her, indicationg that his next class was coming in.

"Than I suppose you don't mind if I bring it up to Dumbledore, maybe you can explain it to him," she said lowly and threateningly, causing the sneer to disappear from Snape's face. He glared at her from behind the curtains of greasy hair, gritting his teeth together.

"Are you black-mailing me?" he hissed.

"I would've have thought that it was rather obvious and unlike you, Professor, I have nothing to lose," she said as she looked into his eyes, showing him that she meant business. A most murderous look came into his eyes as he stared at her.

"You can't prove it," he said as he looked at her.

"Memory Engravement Charm," she said simply as she unwrapped her right hand and placed it palm up in front of his nose. Severus turned his gaze away from the dark pair of eyes he'd fallen in love with and looked down at the palm of her hand, he could faintly smell her felicate skin. There was a marking in the center of her palm that was whiter than the rest of it and in the clear shape of a pair of lips.

Severus' mind momentarily flashed to the fist kiss he'd ever dared place on her and knew that those were his lips. It was almost like his lips and burned her and left a scar on her skin. Severus slowly turned his gaze to Jadis and could see that once more her eyes were full of tears. Yet beyond all the unshed water, there was ferociousness there as her lips trembled and he knew she was angry.

"You couldn't possibly think because I loved you that I would trust you," Jadis said in a very low whisper. "I thought you might do something like this and needed evidence. A chess player must always think three steps ahead."

"What do you want?" he asked, thinking of how he'd always been a horrible chess player. He'd played several times with Jadis and every time he thought he was about to win, she beat him with something he never even saw coming. Jadis always won and always got what she wanted, and it was that genius and determination which had first ensnared him.

"To take Potions and I don't want any of your… crap! Prove that you're over what we had like you said you were. Only if you were truly over it you would not hold a grudge," she said as she looked at him. Severus glared at her but tapped his wand on the paper.

"I'm over it, but this black-mailing business it a completely different thing," he hissed at her as he handed her the schedule.

"It wouldn't have been necessary if you hadn't behaved…"

"But you've been planning it since before we… there's the proof," he hissed, wondering if she'd always intended to do this to him. Had she just wanted to get something over him?

Jadis glared at him. "I did it because I wanted to know if you truly loved me and because I wanted to be marked by your love forever," she said in a very low tone, her voice cracking. Severus was taken aback by this and felt a sharp pang in his heart as he stared at the girl he'd fallen in love with when he thought that he could never love again. "I suppose even love, isn't worth trusting, you've been a very good Professor."

---

Jadis lay in bed that evening aware that it was completely pointless to go to sleep if she was going to have to wake up at one to go to Astronomy class. She merely decided to lay awake and lose herself in thoughts.

She knew that essentially, she'd started a war she wasn't sure she wanted to enter with Snape. It was probably a mistake, a very big mistake; however, he couldn't just kick her out of the class because he wanted to. She needed to take the class and she wasn't going to drop it just because _he_ was teaching it or just because she was drying inside.

No, she'd stuck with the class, she would suffer through it. She'd made up her mind about how important NEWTs leve; Potions was for her and if Snape was planning to make hell out of it, then she would have to suffer through that too.

She just hoped she didn't end up breaking down too bad about it.

**TBC…**


	3. Tuesdays, Not Much Better

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 3: Tuesdays, Not Much Better**_

Jadis woke up groggily, rubbing her face as she sat up. _Perhaps taking Astronomy was a mistake, then again I always think that for the first couple of weeks,_ she thought to herself as she pulled her legs out from within her bed. Luckily, she had a free period first thing in the morning so she could catch up on her sleep. However, as she looked at the clock she yelped and jumped on her feet. She only had 10 minutes to get ready and get to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Hurriedly she grabbed a pair of robes and through them on over her muggle clothes. When she'd gotten back in from Astronomy she'd been too tired to change into pajamas. Therefore, she'd fallen asleep in her muggle clothes, only thinking to throw off her robes.

Once she was in her robes, Jadis snatched up her book-back, took out her Astronomy book and threw it on her bed before quickly picking up her wand and Defense Against the Dark Arts book. Quickly afterwards she made her way down the stairs and out of Slytherin; running down the halls, her bag, which currently only contained parchment, ink and quills banged against her leg. Her book and wand, which she held in the same arm were gripped very tightly in her long fingered right hand.

_Can't be late! Can't be late! Can't be late!_ She repeated over and over to herself as she hurtled down the hallways towards her first class of the day. She reached the door of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom just as Professor Lupin was closing it by hand.

"Ah, good morning Jadis," Lupin smiled pleasantly, taking in her appearance. Her hair, which she usually seemed to hold in a sloppy bun that was the indication of her style, was currently lose and fell straight, just a few inches past her shoulders. Remus had to admit that she had magnificent hair and it looked rather nice lose. "I must admit that I thought you weren't going to make it," he said, staring into her magnificent black eyes as she panted lightly for breath. He wondered if the blush on her face was due to her running of because she was embarrassed. Either way, it emphasized her beauty.

"Sorry Professor Lupin, overslept because of Astronomy," she mumbled. He merely looked at her amused, his amber eyes sparkling delightedly with it as he allowed her to walk in before he closed the door. Jadis scratched her neck while walking past him and looking around the room for somewhere empty to sit. She had to opt for sitting in the empty seat behind Pamela, next to a Slytherin girl she was not at all fond of.

_Great! Velma Donovan,_ she thought as the girl with straight, silver blonde hair turned her icy blue eyes to look at her. Velma Donovan fit every stereotype that anyone made of someone from Slytherin. She was vain, conceited, arrogant, selfish, fake and vindictive. Unfortunately, she was the "Queen Bee" of Slytherin and to say anything or do anything against her was, to put frankly, stupid.

"Why so late, Jadis?" she asked. Jadis turned to look at the overly curious, pale blue eyes. _Does she have to be so nosy? Oh, wait, this is the girl who believes that everyone lives for her personal amusement, _Jadis thought to herself.

"Because I wanted to make an entrance," Jadis replied sarcastically. She was very lucky that Velma was dense and found Jadis' sarcasm amusing. If the girl knew that Jadis hated her as much as she thought she was pretending, Jadis would have probably needed to be transferred out of Slytherin. However, Velma was none too bright.

"I suppose you are still taking Astronomy," Velma said, trying to invite some conversation. Jadis had turned away and was tying up her hair in a lose bun, the illusive strands of hair escaping her. She didn't want to invite conversation with this girl

"Yes," she replied curtly. "You should pay attention to Professor Lupin," Jadis said as he'd already started a small introduction of himself, which of course she was missing because of the air-head extreme, Velma Donovan, was talking to her.

"You're kidding right? The man is a joke," Velma said cruelly.

"Well distract someone else," Jadis mumbled, trying to pay attention to Lupin. He was very tall, she imagined that he had to be about Snape's height, and age too. She furrowed her brows as she felt the incessant pain in her heart. _Why do my thoughts always turn to _him?

Suddenly a million answers popped into her head. 1, he was your first love. 2, he was your first kiss. 3, he was the first man to… scratch that, the _only_ man to ever make love to you. 4, you are still in love with him. 5, he is going to kill you for black-mailing him. Jadis felt her stomach clench painfully before it churned to think of what Snape was panning to do to make her year more miserable and painful than it was already going to be. _Oh, how I wish I could have gotten over him, then this year wouldn't be such a problem._

"Jadis." _NO, that's not true,_ her mind argued back to her. _Snape cant even pretend it never even happened, even though he says he'd over it, had been over it. _"Jadis."_ How can he be over me? Did he ever love me at all? NO! I can't start to think like this again. I've been wondering about it all summer and it never even helped or… _"Jadis!" someone suddenly said loudly. She snapped out of her thoughts and wondered at who had jabbed her rib so hard!

"Ouch," Jadis mumbled, holding onto her ribs and looking around the room. She grimaced as she noted that everyone was staring at her, including Lupin. "Sorry Professor Lupin, yes?" she asked somewhat meekly and bashfully as she looked over in his general direction. She felt too ashamed to look him in the eyes._ Must Snape ruin my day without even being here?_

"Do you know what a Patronous Charm is?" he asked mildly, wondering why it had taken him three times to call her name and someone to elbow her in the rib to get her attention. However, he didn't think that she was too happy about her thoughts. Her eyes looked a bit lost and hurt.

"Patronous Charm?" Jadis asked a little dazed. However she quickly shook her head and looked directly at him, blinking several times and forcing them to look normal. "Its… it protects you from Dementors by having them feed on it instead of you. I suppose it's like a shield, but it takes a shape when done properly. Really it's more like a guardian."

Remus stared at Jadis for a moment. He hadn't expected that the Slytherin seventh year would answer so well. Especially as she'd spaced out and when he'd asked the question at first, only one Ravenclaw raised their hand. "Correct. Do you know what shape it takes?

Jadis smiled as she looked at him. "That's a trick question, Professor Lupin, as each Patronous is unique to each person who conjures it. I think you're trying to embarrass me," she replied, smiling very slightly. Matt turned around and grinned over at Jadis. She was of course excellent in most of her classes, when she was paying attention, but Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions were certainly her forte.

Lupin smiled, ignoring her accusation. "Do you think you can conjure one up?" Remus asked jokingly, though he did not expect her to. A sleek black brow arched over her deep eyes and she seemed to perk up at the challenge. A crooked, and yet pretty, grin twisted her mouth.

"Without a Dementor around I can't imagine it would be too difficult. However, it's much harder around a real Dementor and I'd be foolish and arrogant to think I can conjure one up the first time with them around, after all many witches and wizards are unable to create a full Patronous," she replied with a smile.

"Would you care to prove your first assertion?" Remus asked, an amused smile coming over his face. He was challenging her, he didn't know why, but he was sure it should be amusing to see. Besides, he was sure it would benefit all the students to see someone try it first, before they had to.

"Oh don't challenge her! Jadis believes she can do anything she sets her mind to," Matt groaned out loudly. "And once she does it she'll be insufferable," he continued, causing several of his classmates to laugh. Remus smiled politely as he looked over at the blonde boy, however, quickly returned his attention to Jadis. She was sitting still, her eyebrow still arched as she watched her Professor.

"Well Jadis?" Remus asked. His first impression was that she was sweet, friendly, and easily embarrassed. He didn't really think she would try. It was the reason he was slightly surprised and delighted when she stood up and headed to the front of the classroom. Clearly, she was far more bold and confident than he'd originally given her credit for.

"I'll show you what a determined Slytherin can do," Jadis said once she stood on his left and looked directly into his amber eyes. "Walk me through it, Professor Lupin," she said smiling politely up at him. A determined look was set in her gaze, completely removing the unfocussed and hurt look that had been set in her eyes when she'd spaced out.

Remus smiled at her before turning to the rest of the class. "Everyone should listen to this as I expect I shall be having you all try to conjure a Patronous next lesson. Now, the incantation needed is _Expecto Patronum_. Repeat after me_ Expecto Patronum,"_ a chorus of voices repeated and he was vaguely away of Jadis on his left repeating it as well. "Now it is not enough to just say the words. You must think of the happiest moments of your life and allow that emotion and experience to fill you up, and it must be something very, very strong."

Jadis bit down on her lip, her brain already going through memory after memory about her life. She momentarily grimaced. Lack of parents, ballet lessons, martial arts lessons, gymnastics, art classes, writing workshops, different kinds of sport teams, choir lessons, church events… all activities she'd quit. Piano lessons, flute lessons, violin lessons, guitar lessons, drum lessons, bass lessons; she'd become bored of most instruments and moved onto others, but she did find playing them a little fulfilling.

However, none of them would were really happy. After all, most of what she played on instruments was something sad, a reflection of her loneliness. "Jadis," Remus called, trying to get her to focus. He'd noticed that her eyes had become unfocused once more, her brows both knitted together.

Jadis slowly turned to look at him and smiled very faintly. "Finding a happy memory may take a while," she replied softly and grimly, once more allowing her eyes to become unfocused on the present and allowing her brain to flashback. Her cheeks flushed with the realization that her happiest moment, was now the most painful for her to remember and that it might just reopen and bleed all the scars that were trying so hard to at least scab.

She had to relive it, and cause herself pain because she was sure that nothing else was going to even compare. Not her first cut and the thrill of the blood rushing, not the first exquisite dagger she bought and certainly not the first time she played Moonlight Sonata completely perfectly. It had to be Snape, always Snape.

"All right Professor," Jadis said, turning to look at Lupin. He stared momentarily at her face, which appeared grim. However, a stubborn determination was set, even though her eyes were glossing over.

"You may proceed," he replied, watching her intently. She smiled and turned away, stretching out her wand before her, holding it in her bandaged right hand. She held her wand evenly straight, though she knew she was trembling within. Anticipation was gripping her all over, tensing all her muscles and forcing her heart to clench, as though it were flinching at the sight of someone about to punch it.

She managed to push it all away, along with the classroom full of awaiting faces, everything slipping from her eyesight. It all slipped away from her, the present moment getting lost as she relived her first time, allowing it to fill all of her senses. Losing herself in the memory, not allowing herself to think of anything but the memory and what she was trying to do, create a Patronous.

She could feel his hands lightly caressing her body, his skin hardly seeming to make contact with her, yet causing goose bumps to rise all over, her skin clearly aching for his touch. His deep throat moans were ringing in her ears along with her own whimpers and moans as she thought of the way he kissed her passionately and the feeling of his soft lips at her neck. She could hardly keep her eyes from rolling into the back of her head at the memory

However, she stared ahead at nothing, while her minds eyes remembered how soft his very pale skin was. She could feel that pleasantness of his body weight over hers, the way that he fit perfectly between her parted legs, each thrust brought her against waves of pleasure that she'd never felt before. She could remember the feel of her hands getting caught in his hair, which was surprisingly silky. As she kissed the pulsing vein in his marble white throat, she remembered the heavy cinnamon scent of his body rolling off him. "_Expecto Patronum,"_ She said clearly when the orgasm hit and she heard him moan out her name with love and passion ringing in that velvety voice of his.

To say Remus was enthralled with watching her facial expression was an understatement. Her eyes had become unfocused and teary as she lost herself in whatever memory she had chose. With every second that passed, he saw her pale cheeks slowly turning pale hues of pink. When she at last said her words, while clear, were almost a whisper that for some reason sent shivers through him.

He was surprised to see that a blinding white light issued from the tip of her wand and formed into a very large and clearly defined wolf. Remus could almost see the details of every strand of hair, the pointy ears, the large paws and nails. He could see the large pale eyes as the wolf turned to look at its human counterpart.

The whole class gasped at the beauty of the magnificent creature that had been created. Remus himself could not turn his gaze away from it. He was… a little jarred by the fact that (a) she'd been able to create a full Patronus period, (b) she'd created such a marvelously strong one and (c) it was a wolf. He wondered for a moment, why of all the creatures in the world, it was a wolf.

Jadis on the other hand, while lowering her literal hand, was no at all surprised to see it was a wolf. It didn't take her long to understand why either. It seemed all to clear to her and because of her cynical sense, she sneered at the cliché. _A wolf, for the lonely_, she thought. She could not help the single tear that slid down her right cheek and was thankfully covered by the lose strands of hair that fell on the right side of her face.

While she was sure no one had seen it, Remus had. Remus looked at Jadis and could see that beyond the wine colored strands of hair, a tear glided quickly down her cheek and was now clinging to her chin in the shadows of her silky hair. "Extraordinary," he simply managed to say as the Patronous disappeared.

Jadis made a move with her right hand, as if to scratch her chin, but Remus guessed that she was removing the tear. He guessed that she was shamed of showing such a weakness and wanted to hide it. However, when she turned to smile weakly at him, he could see the sparkling residue on her cheek and the way that her eyes were smoldering beneath the sparkle of water. He guessed that whatever memory she had chosen, while being her happiest moment in life, was painful for her to remember.

"Thank you," she said meekly before turning and walking back to her seat. She was hardly aware of the encouraging grin from her friends before her and the envious look Velma shot at her while smiling that fake smile that hardly twisted up the corners of her mouth. Jadis didn't care for any of it. She was only aware of the pain. Like she'd taken one of her beloved daggers and sliver open all the wounds that Severus had left.

For the remainder of the lesson, which wasn't very long, she listened attentively to Lupin, taking notes fervently to keep from slipping into the pain and breaking down. It was the only way she felt she could hold out until after class to break down.

---

"Professor Lupin, I've heard wild tales that Miss Luna was capable of producing a large and true Patronous," Remus slowly tuned to look at Professor Binns and found it slightly irking to see through him and at Severus, who had, at the moment, frozen halfway to bringing a fork full of food to his mouth. Remus tried to pay this no mind and focus on the deceased History of Magic Professor.

"Actually, Jadis did make a full Patronous, and on her very first try," Lupin replied.

"How peculiar then that she did not bother to show up to my class," Binns said a little grumpily. Remus grimaced as he tried to see the angry visage of Binns, but instead saw the small smirk on Snape's face.

"Well now that you mention it, I don't think she's here and I don't remember seeing her during lunch. Perhaps she became ill," Lupin said, hoping he hadn't gotten her in trouble. Though, if she had cut Binns class he couldn't imagine that he should. However, he didn't recall seeing Jadis at all during the day, at least not after his class. Binns seemed to take this into consideration while casting a quick glance to the Slytherin table, unable to spot the girl.

"Well she hasn't cut my class before so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt," the specter Professor stated. Severus made a light coughing noise as he fought off a sneer. Near the end of the previous year there had been many occasions in which he'd signed Jadis out of Binns class so that they could be together. However, his urge to sneer went away as he thought of what he'd sacrificed and the pain he was causing Jadis.

"She appears to be a good student," Remus said. "A very powerful and gifted witch to be able to conjure a Patronous on her first try."

Severus wondered if her happiest memory was the first time they'd made love. She herself had told him it was the happiest moment in her life and he could see it in her eyes that she was not lying. Besides, he knew her whole life's story and there wasn't much to compete with. However, he knew she had taken the breakup and everything very hard. He could only imagine how painful it had been for her to relive it, because as he'd seen the previous day she was not over it.

"What shape does her Patronous take?" Binns asked, starting to get bored with the subject. Severus paused his thoughts for a moment, wondering what indeed, was the shape of her Patronous.

"A very large wolf," Remus replied. Severus snapped his head to look at the werewolf, glare really. Remus, however, was oblivious to it. Severus stared at the man and wondered why the hell her Patronous would be a wolf. His own Patronous was a reflection of his love, why was hers a wolf, when the two most obvious connections he had would have thought were a snake and or a bat.

Silently, the Potions Master seethed as he stabbed at his meal, ignoring the glances from the students nearby and the Professors sitting next to him. Perhaps she was more over him than he thought and didn't need his help after all.

**TBC…**

**A/N:** Please Review!


	4. Addictions Are Never Cures

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 4: Addictions Are Never Cures**_

Wednesday and Thursday of course disappeared and vanished in a blink of an eye. The dreaded Friday morning with Double Potions session came and Jadis could not ease her churning stomach. She wanted to die before having to go to Potions, she truly did fear what Snape was going to do to her as he certainly could be a sadistic bastard. _A sadistic bastard you fell for._

"Jeez Jadis, you look paler than Binns," Matt said as he, Jadis and Pamela made their way towards Potions together. Binns had willingly accepted her story that she was sick and went straight for her dorm and stayed there the whole day when she walked into his class on Thursday. She was happy she didn't have detention.

However, as she made her way towards the Dungeons, she thought about how she couldn't let this control her, or else she was going to ruin herself. She needed to put a stop to the emotional upheavals that she was allowing to tear through her life like hurricanes that uprooted her. She couldn't be missing any classes, not when NEWTs where at the end of the year. _It's going to stop one way or another!_

For the most part she ignored Snape to keep from breaking down during her Potions lesson that morning. Strangely enough, he didn't so much as really even look at her and she put all of her concentration on her potion. She thought that perhaps Snape wasn't going to do something to her. That he really was over it and that he wasn't going to hold a grudge because of the black-mailing thing. It was of course a very foolish hope, because Snape had found the perfect, most hurtful way to torture her and he'd been attentive all period to his perfect opening.

The moment came when there were about five minutes left to class when Matt reached over to Jadis and said, "I'm going to borrow this." Jadis snapped her head up as she watched Matt reach over and grab her cutting knife. It was a butterfly knife with black metal handles that were intricately designed with red roses. The sharp blade was very pointed and made of stainless steel. When flipped open, the knife made a small ringing sound through the air.

Her eyes widened as if he'd just grasped onto her soul and molested it. The distraction was enough to nearly drop the ingredients she was holding over her cauldron in before it was time. However, before she could do anything, either reach for her knife or drop the ingredients, a large hand with long fingers clamped around her right fist gently but firmly.

"Careful," a velvety soft voice murmured in warning near her ear, causing her to shiver. She could feel his presence standing very close to her side, and could feel the heat radiating from his body. The warmth of his hands, holding onto her forever cold one's made her close her eyes in bliss for a nano-second before she realized the hand belonged to the man that had broken her hear. "Where is your head, Jadis?"

Jadis shivered at the sound of her name in his voice and slowly turned to look at the Potions Master. He was staring down at her with his smoldering black eyes, a small smile that she was sure he'd only ever let her see as playing on his lips, causing her mind to reel. Memories of the night they slept together flooding into her head and causing her eyes to tear as she looked at him questioningly.

Severus sneered as he placed her right hand down on the table and his eyes suddenly became cold. "You're so weak Jadis, you are pathetic," he said so very low that no one else heard. He then swished his hand over her Potion, causing it to vanish as the bell rand and he walked away. Jadis stared after him, eyes wide as saucers as the tears continued to accumulate. _How could he be so cruel?_

---

Jadis fell on her knees in front of her trunk. It had taken a moment for her to react and pack up her things and leave his classroom. She had to hurtle through the hallway, through Slytherin and to her dorm to be able to break down. She ran her hands through her hair as she leaned her head against the edge of her trunk, yanking them out of the sloppy bun she had tied her hair in.

She furiously wiped the tears away from her face. _I'm NOT WEAK!_ Her brain yelled as she punched her trunk several times, bruising her knuckles and cracking the skin on one of them. But she didn't care, she couldn't feel the pain. Managing to calm down the rage within her she panted for breath as the tears continued to slide down her cheeks.

She through open her trunk furiously. She rummaged through it as she kept rubbing furiously away at the tears that were leaking from her eyes, reaching to the bottom right corner from which she pulled a small , intricately designed chest made of ebony wood, decorated with ivory vines.

Carefully, she opened the lid and inside the darkness of the box revealed a black towel, black bandages, a couple of her favorite knives, a couple phials of potions, and about five fags, or what appeared to be fags but were really an invention that she'd transfigured to look like muggle cigarettes. She stared at the insides of her black chest, wondering what she should use to numb the pain.

She stuck in her hands and fingered the long thin cigarettes for a moment, however, instead reached out for the black Katana knife, black towel, aphial of potion and black bandages. She had Defense Against the Dark Arts next and could not afford to be beneath the influence of that particular concoction.

Jadis looked up as she heard the soft padding feet of Neji. She looked over at her cat and could see that it was staring at her with its large yellow eyes as he hissed at her. "I know it really won't make it go away permanently Neji, but it's an emergency, it has to go away right now," she said to the cat, remembering the first several weeks of her summer and how she'd either spent them sleeping, cutting or smoking her invention.

The pain always came back more painful when she was back to normal and finally she decided that it wasn't helping. That she was better off trying to suffer through the pain and crying herself to sleep every night, than putting off the pain. She'd gotten better over the summer, to the point were she could at least smile, that she started to talk again and to eat. Perhaps she hadn't gotten over him completely, but she wasn't in complete ruin as she'd been in the very beginning.

She pushed her robes' sleeve back and slowly removed the white ribbon that was wrapped around her left arm and stared down at the wrist, staring at the long single scar that traced her vein from the very top of her wrist to about mid forearm. There was another knick near the top of her wrist were she had accidentally cut herself the first time, when she hadn't planned it out.

For a moment, she stared at the white scar, she always made sure the vein surfaced and to cut along the same route she always did. It was a reason she took such very good care of her knives, made sure that they were sharp. She also always made sure to never cut very deep. The scar was actually deeper around the wrist and became shallower as it reached her forearm.

Jadis dropped the ribbon into the wooden chest and picked up the black Katana. The handle was made of cherry wood, but was designed with a tight black rope wrapped around it so that the handle appeared to be black with red here and there. She unsheathed the stainless steel blade and laid it on the floor as she pulled out her wand and pointed it to her vein.

Soon as it popped up she reached for the knife and with skilled precision cut along the white scar, over the vein. Ruby liquid started to poor as she felt blood suddenly trickling down her arm and the pain of her skin breaking. She shivered slightly as she dropped the knife onto the floor and closed her eyes in the rush. She felt alive, as the pain left and all she could feel was the rushing of the blood, the fast beat of her heart, which only pumped more blood out of her. When wooziness started to slip into her head she picked up the black towel and placed pressure on the long wound.

She didn't heal herself magically, that took away from it. When she was sure that most of the bleeding was beginning to cease, she tightly wrapped around the black bandage around her arm, making sure to put enough pressure to completely stop any leaking. Once her arm was bandaged she slid her sleeve back down, and she proceeded to clean up the knife and put it away in her chest.

Pulling the glass phial she'd pulled out earlier from her lips, she uncorced it and brought it to her lips, taking a sip before stoppering it and placing it back into the chest neatly. The Potion was supposed to help speed up the process of recreating blood cells and would keep her from fainting. She then closed the chest and once more tucked it away into the deepest part of her trunk.

Sighing she closed her trunk and sat on it. Neji walked over slowly and jumped onto her lap, resting his head on it and allowing her to stroke his head. "Neji, next Friday I'm going to have to experiment and see what happens if I take a fag before having to deal with Snape in Double Potions. I can't go through another day like this," Jadis said, her voice trembling only slightly, but she was far too tired to feel anything else.

---

"Where did you disappear to after Potions?" Matt asked his friend in Defense Against the Dark Arts after Lupin had allowed everyone to practice trying to make a Patronous Charm. Random groups of seventh years were scattered about the room, each trying to perform a Patronous charm.

Jadis merely sat on her desk, looking on as Matt and Pamela each tried to make their Patronous. She didn't have the energy to make a Patronous and deal with the emotional after-math, besides she didn't see the point of why she should try if she had already created a successful one. Something that everyone seemed to be having trouble with, she noted as she cast a brief glance around the classroom.

"Are you all right Jadis, you kind of just took off," Jadis turned to look at the mean blonde girl with blue eyes. _Pam is weak, I'm not like Pam. I'm not weak_, her brain continued to reassure her, still feeling a bit shaken that she had freaked out so much after the incident.

"I'm fine Pam, thanks, I needed to check up on Neji, I forgot to feed him this morning," she lied. She hadn't bothered to put her hair back up into a pony-tail, mostly it was so she could take attention away from the fact that her eyes were slightly red-rimmed. She ran her hand lightly through her silky tresses as she cast a glance around the room.

Every now and then, you spotted someone who momentarily shot a wisp of light out of the tip of their wand, or a long emission of light, but nothing to the likes of what she'd produced her first time. Jadis wasn't particularly impressed with the fact that she'd been able to do it, she was unsure if anyone had ever loved as she had loved _him_. Besides, the pain it had cost her hardly seemed worth the feat.

"How are you doing over here?" Lupin asked as he walked over to the three Slytherins, casting a brief glance at Jadis, who didn't even turn to look at him. Once more she had that far away look in her eyes, though the expression on her face was darkly serious and clouded, not it's usual serene and pensive. She strangely enough had her hair lose and it fell on either side of her face, creating curtains that were hard to see through when she was turned away.

"Jadis is distracting us and not allowing us to pay attention," Matt replied with a shrug. Lupin turned to look at the blonde Slytherin and smiled lightly, he was certainly going to be the class clown of his seventh years. "Been telling us naughty stories about Snape and Hooch's broom closet," he said, wiggling his blonde brows.

Remus chuckled lightly as he turned his gaze slowly over to Jadis, whom despite her mood allowed a smile to slip onto her face. _I'm not going to allow Snape to ruin my Friday,_ she thought defiantly as she turned around to look at Lupin with a full smile gracing her lips. "And then Snape said to Hooch in that lazy drawl of his," Jadis started out. _Hey I'm at least allowed to poke fun of the man without feeling pain! "_That'snot a broom handle," she said, imitating his drawl and arching a sleek black brow.

Remus and Matt both chuckled at this while Pamela blushed lightly and giggled behind her hand. "Excellent Jadis, and here I thought you were gonna be a git all afternoon," Matt said as he gestured for her to slap hands with him. Jadis rolled her eyes and instead of hi-fiving him she punched him in the hand, only to jerk her hand away and glare down at it. A blush due to her own stupidity came over her cheeks. She'd forgotten she'd busted her fist.

"Well now that Jadis has finished her anecdote, perhaps you and Pamela can get to work," Remus suggested. Matt groaned but did as the Professor bid. Remus found that Pam, Jadis and Matt were the only Slytherins he'd met so far that he kind of liked. Remus turned his gaze then to Jadis and walked over. "Are you all right?" he asked as he noted that she'd winced when she'd punched Matt in the palm.

"I accidentally banged my fist in my trunk during lunch," she lied as Remus reached out his hand to study her fist, his brow furrowed in mild-concern.

"Are your hands always this cold?" he asked as he held her fingers curled around his and pulled her fist up to closer inspection. Jadis didn't like it that he was studying her wounds so closely, but she was fond enough of Remus to not want to feel rude by snatching her hand away when he was only trying to be helpful.

He smiled when he noted that the black nail polish on her fingernails was chipping. She had very pale hands and her knuckle bones were small, thin and protruded quite sharply. However, he liked her hands, her fingers, despite being numbingly cold were very soft. He liked that she had long fingers and he guessed that they came in handy when she was making her potions, he assumed however, that they had to be nimble for that to be true. After all he had long fingers as well, but he was crap at Potions.

"Ever thought that perhaps your hands are too warm?" Jadis asked with a smile and a raised brow. Lupin didn't notice as he stared at the scratches on her knuckles and noted how they were a light purple color, almost lilac. He pulled a small vial of dittany with his free hand from his pocket and placed trace amounts of it on her of Snape, who was sure he'd have many uses for it over the year.

Remus had large hands, something that Jadis had to notice as they nearly fully seemed to engulf hers, despite her long digits. They were also very rough and full with calluses, which she supposed was only right when it came to a man. However, his touch was very gentle. And his hands did indeed feel quite warm against her skin and made her skin tingle.

"Perhaps it's both," Remus said, smiling up at her gently and letting go of her hand. "Why are you not trying your Patronous again?"

Jadis stared at him for a moment, before answering. "Because I'm lazy, I'd rather not have to go into the whole relieving a _happy_ memory thing," Jadis responded lazily with a shrug of her thin shoulders.

"In general, once you've already conjured it up, you don't necessarily have to relive the whole moment all over again afterwards. Try it, just say the words and mean it," Remus said to Jadis, gently, not challenging her but encouraging her as a student. Jadis sighed as she pulled her wand out of her pocket and extended her arm.

She cleared her head of her thoughts and thought about her objective, creating the Patronous and recalling momentarily the happy moment. "_Expecto Patronum_," she said, the brilliant light once more shown out of her wand before turning into a large wolf. Jadis raised a brow. _That was amazingly simple and no break down. _

"You see," Remus said.

"But it's not the same with a Dementor around. It's harder than, much harder, isn't it? I mean they make you relive your worst moment," Jadis said, looking over at Lupin.

"If you let them," he responded. "But if you could pull away from it, concentrate long enough on the happy memory hold onto it and call onto your Patronous, then you'll be fine. But yes, considerably difficult. However, for a determined Slytherin such as yourself, I'm sure you can set your mind to do whatever you want," Remus smiled at her.

Jadis smiled briefly before it turned bitter and she had to look down at her hands. "Unless your worst moments were crippling," Jadis responded softly that Remus almost didn't catch it. She shook her head thinking, it wasn't going to get to her. She smiled and looked up at Remus, her eyes sparkling. "No… anything can be remedied with laughter," she said, before discreetly pointing her wand at Matt, who fell over and caused her to burst laughing.

"Bugger Jadis! I was almost getting there," he said as he tried to disentangle himself from the floor. Remus shook his head as he walked away from the group. This would certainly be an interesting year.

**TBC…**

**A/n: **All righty, another chapter and hopefully I'll get some feedback to know if anyone actually likes this story.


	5. Don't Poke The Dragon

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 5: Don't Poke The Dragon**_

Remus made his way through the hall and came to a stop behind the only group of Slytherins he particularly liked. They were sitting at the very end of the Slytherin table, near the doors. He was amused to see that Matt and Pamela were bickering playfully over their homework while Jadis sat opposite of them, her books closed and drumming her fingers on the table. There was a black bottle of nail-polish before her and a white bottle full of nail-polish remover.

He guessed as he cast a glance at the table that she had just removed the chipped nail-polish and repainted them. "Good morning," Remus said. All three Slytherins turned to Lupin and smiled up at him. There weren't many people littering the Great Hall at the moment, due to the fact that it was Sunday, two hours before lunch and most of the students were enjoying the grounds as they were sure that soon it would be too cold to be outside.

"Good morning Professor Lupin," they all said as they looked up at him. Matt and Pam immediately turned back to their bickering over their studies; however, Jadis continued to gaze at him with a smile. She was sitting on the opposite side, so that she didn't have to turn to look at him. "What are you doing in the Great Hall so early?" she asked.

"Taking a break from grading," he replied with a mild smile. "Why are you not doing work like your friends?" he asked as he stared at her. She shrugged her thin shoulders, and he noted that she wasn't wearing her school robes. Instead, she was wearing wine colored robes that seemed to fit her much more closely then her school robes.

"Strangely enough I've already finished my homework," she replied as she looked at him. Remus raised a brow. "Astounding for someone as lazy as I am isn't it?" she asked.

"I suppose you were very bored," he said with a teasing smile. Jadis smiled up at her Professor, he looked much younger when he smiled like that, especially with that mischievous sparkle in his amber colored eyes, which at the moment appeared golden due to the fact that the sunlight was streaming in from behind her and catching them quite nicely.

"Precisely, which is why I actually had to resort to repainting my nails; usually I wait until they've completely chipped off on their own, but oh well," she said with a shrug and a heavy sigh of mock resignation. Remus chuckled lightly. He guessed that Jadis herself was a little more like her friend then he'd originally thought. She then became serious and sat up. "Professor Lupin, would you mind looking through my Patronous essay, so that I may make any corrections before handing it in?"

Remus raised a brow as he looked at her. "Perhaps later, Jadis, I really meant that I was tired from grading when I said I was taking a break," he said as he looked at her. Jadis slumped a little, slightly dejected. She was hoping that she'd be able to weasel out of having to recheck it herself, especially as she was quite horrid when it came to proof-reading and such. "I'm sorry."

"It's all right, I can only imagine how unrewarding grading is," she said, imagining it and grimacing more. She then perked up once more and looked up at him. "Can I bribe you?" she asked, smiling hopefully at him. Remus chuckled at this. "Oh wait, I have no money on me, only a chocolate frog. Drat!"

"Chocolate?" Remus asked, perking up at this. Jadis turned to look at her Professor and could see that he was hooked. _Is Professor Lupin a chocolate whore?_ Jadis started to laugh at the thought. She then turned to look at his mildly questioning gaze.

"I see I've stumbled across your weakness," Jadis said as she looked into his amber eyes. Remus blushed lightly at this.

"Yes, I've got quite the sweet tooth," he said as he looked at her.

"So how about it Professor? A deliciously sweet, milk-chocolate, chocolate frog in exchange for a relatively harmless glance through my paper?" Jadis said. Remus stared at her and had to shake his head, she surely was quite the amusement. She was purposefully making her offer sound more appealing than he was sure it was, however, he guessed that it wouldn't hurt.

"All right," he said. Jadis smiled as he walked around the table. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the chocolate frog and gave it to him with her paper. Remus sat down and took both in his hands. Sticking the chocolate into his mouth, he started to look through the paper. He was at least happy that Jadis wrote relatively normal sized and in very clear, block writing.

Jadis smiled as she started to look around the hall, not paying any mind to the Professor sitting next to her. "Jadis," Jadis turned her attention to Pamela who was now looking at her and raised a brow. Pamela coughed lightly and stared at Jadis for a moment before continuing, guessing that Jadis wasn't going to ask her what she wanted and that she was actually waiting for her to continue. "Your Potion's essay has a mistake."

"Doesn't matter, Snape is going to probably say he lost the essay or spilled something on it and not give me credit for it anyway," Jadis said darkly.

"Snape does not have a personal vendetta against you Jadis, you're just paranoid. Besides you are his precious favorite, just because he vanished your Potion Friday morning doesn't mean anything," Matt said boisterously as he looked over at her. "Besides you hadn't finished on time."

"But Snape always lets Jadis finish her potion," Pamela piped up softly.

"Perhaps he realized that you shouldn't get any preferential treatment anymore," Matt said. Jadis rolled her eyes. Matt had always liked Snape, for some reason or other. She supposed it was because he liked the way Snape mistreated everyone that was not in Slytherin. However, she wondered if Matt would stand up for the man like that if he knew what he had done to her. She supposed he still would, loyalty was hard to find in Slytherin. "It's only fair."

She turned away and shook those thoughts from her head. "In case you haven't noticed, Snape is never fair," Jadis said. "It's not like all of a sudden he's going to start treating all the Houses equally."

"Well then, maybe he was just in a bad mood," Matt reasoned. Jadis sighed.

"This is Snape we're talking about, he's always in a bad moon," Jadis said.

"Actually, someone did say something about Snape and a Boggart," Pamela suddenly said. Remus who, had partially been listening to the conversation tensed slightly at the mention of the Boggart incident. It seemed that word was actually spreading through the castle about that, and it had just happened Thursday! It was only a matter of time before Severus knew about it, if he didn't already know.

"What do you mean?" Matt asked. Jadis turned to look at Pamela and raised a brow at this.

"Well, they say that … well Professor Lupin was having the third years facing a Boggart and that a kid's turned into Snape and that he dressed Snape in drag," Jadis and Matt both burst into laughter at this, both trying to picture Snape in woman's clothes. Suddenly Jadis looked over at the man that was sitting next to her.

"Professor Lupin, I think that you're going to have to go into the Wizards Protection Program once Snape gets a wind of this," Jadis teased. Lupin looked up and half-smiled at her, he really should have told them that they should be calling him _Professor _Snape, but as he hadn't corrected them the pervious lesson they had, he was sure he couldn't say something about it now.

"If Snape doesn't already know, maybe he heard about it and that's why he vanished your Potion Friday," Matt said.

"No, I know Snape. When he finds out about it, there's going to be hell to pay. I feel sorry for the kid, wonder who it was," Jadis said. Remus turned his attention back to her essay, suddenly realizing that Jadis was right. Once Snape found out about this he was going to kill Neville, and he was going to sooner or later if a seventh year Slytherin got wind of it.

He wondered how long it was going to take for the rumor, or well it wasn't really a rumor, it was a story, reached the staff. He groaned to think about it. The story was being told from student to student, by the time Snape heard the story it could be something much more unpleasant then it had initially been. By the time it got to Snape, they were going to be saying that he was in fishnet stockings, a metallic mini skirt and a bright red bustier.

Remus shivered and mentally kicked himself for putting _that_ image in his head. He didn't want to see Snape _ever_ look like a cheap, transvestite Prostitute. He mentally regurgitated at the thought and tried to focus on the essay. He was amazed by how easily it flowed and how quickly he was actually getting through it. It seemed that Jadis actually put more thought into it than she was willing to admit.

"Every thing seems fine," Remus said as he returned the essay to Jadis once he was done with it. He decided that it was probably for the best if he started to avoid Severus. However, he wondered how Neville was going to be treated once Snape found out. Severus already intimidated the boy as it was, and as things could always get much worse, he wondered _how_ Snape could become much worse.

Jadis looked up at Remus and smiled at him. "Thank you so much Professor Lupin," she said as she looked up at him. He looked a little distracted at the moment. Remus merely smiled and nodded.

"Well I should get going," he said, deciding that he better leave the Great Hall before Snape came in. All three Slytherins said goodbye to the Professor as he walked out of the hall once more, wondering why he had suddenly become so flighty.

---

Jadis crawled into bed that night and closed the curtains after wishing Pamela a good night. She lay there in bed, curled up on her side and stroking Neji. Snape was going to blow a lid when he found out about the Boggart and no one would be safe from his wrath. Her stomach churned at the thought of what he was going to be like. EVERYONE was going to feel his fury, and Jadis could only imagine how much worse he was going to be with her.

**TBC…**

** A/N: Please Review!  
**


	6. Let It Be

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 6: Let It Be**_

"Thank you for helping me in Herbology today Jadis," Jay Booth said when they were exiting Herbology Monday morning. Jadis looked over at the tall slim Ravenclaw and smiled. _He is so freaking cute!_ Her mind squealed like a girl as she blushed under his intense deep blue gaze and that winning grin of his. "Want me to carry your books?" he asked as he looked at her. _Such a gentleman!_

"No I'm fine, but that's very nice of you," she said, brushing her hair aside as she looked over at him. He had a very handsome face and was very easy to get along with. He was very bright, funny in a non-dark and inoffensive way, and quite the charmer. She was sure she could feel many girls glaring at the back of her head as she and the hot Ravenclaw boy made their way towards the castle together. She wondered why other Mondays couldn't be so good.

They were nearly in almost every class together, however, Herbology, and Astronomy were probably their only chances to talk to each other as she had all her other classes with Matt and Pam, and she couldn't talk to him alone then. Also, he didn't take History of Magic like she did; instead she was quite sure he said he was taking Ancient Runes, which she was fairly sure he would be heading off to now.

"Well I suppose I will see you in Astronomy tonight, save me a spot next to you," he said, smiling his King-of-the-gods grin at her before leaving her standing in the Great Hall. Jadis almost actually squealed as she watched him walking away. Jadis skipped merrily to the library to get started on the essay that Professor Sprout had assigned.

---

"Why are you smiling like that?" Jadis looked up from her plate of food and looked over at Matt with a questioning look. "You've been smiling down at your food like a fool all of dinner. And you haven't said anything, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothings wrong with me, what makes you think anything is wrong?" she asked grimacing.

"Let's see, you were day dreaming and blushing all of Charms, Professor Flitwick called you to attention three times! In Transfiguration when I made a joke about something McGonagall said, you didn't even laugh! You just sat there, biting your lips and you looked like you were trying to keep your eyes open," Matt accused.

"I wasn't acting like such a prat was I?" she asked, thinking about charms. Jay was in that class! As for the incident in Transfiguration, she could hardly help that. Jay, who sat directly behind her in Transfiguration, had been stroking her hair. She'd set it lose in Transfiguration so that he'd be unable to see that the sides of her face were pink.

"Since when do you care what you act like?" Matt asked, looking at his friend like she had gone nuts.

"Well I don't have time for your silly accusations Matt, I should get started on the essays that I was set today. Sprout gave me a particularly long one, couldn't finish it during my free period," Jadis said as she stood up and headed out of the Great Hall towards the library once more. It didn't take her long to get there, especially as she was a fast walker. _Long legs are a definite plus_.

However, she tried to block out the other voice in her head that was telling her about who else had particularly admired her legs. If she did allow herself to remember, it was his favorite feature of her body and he loved to, as he put it, lose himself beneath them. She rolled her eyes, trying to ignore the wave of pleasure that coursed through her at the memory of his head between her legs. She supposed that his tongue had its other useful uses, other than the sarcastically hurtful jibes he threw at people.

Jadis rubbed at her eyes. _Why do my thoughts always turn to him? Can't I have just one day were I am allowed to forget about him. Was what I did so wrong that I deserved to be punished like this,_ she wondered pitifully to herself. "Of course it was wrong, I fell in love with SNAPE, that alone is unholy," she muttered to herself as she walked into the deserted library.

She plopped down at a table and pulled out her books. She couldn't work on her Herbology homework at the moment, because she hadn't brought her Herbology book with her, however, she could work on the other essays that she had.

---

"Go to your dorm, Curfew is getting close," Madam Pince said. Jadis ignored her she was sentences away from finishing her Transfiguration essay. She'd already finished her Charms essay and proofread it.

"Yes, in a moment," Jadis said when she heard the unhelpful, useless woman growl in a low guttural way. _Vulture_, Jadis thought as she hurriedly scratched her quill against the Parchment.

"If you are still in here when it's curfew I will dock fifteen house Points and give you detention," Pince warned Jadis, before walking away and heading to look through other parts of the library to make sure there was no other students. Jadis paid the woman no mind as she continued to write the last sentences of her paper before packing her things away and heading out of the library.

She only had about five minutes to get down to the dungeons, before she would have to be wary about running across Mrs. Norris, Filch or Snape. Once more, she made use of her very long legs as she speed-walked down the hallway and arrive at Slytherin. Once she had made it inside she relaxed her gate and plopped down with Pamela and Matt in the common room.

Pam was sitting on the floor Indian style, resting her back against the armchair. Matt was sitting in the armchair, one leg tucked beneath him and the other draped over the arm of the armchair. His fingers were gently running through Pam's golden locks in a very sweet and adoring gesture while she was looking through a piece of parchment. It was one of the rare moments that Matt was caught off his guard in what appeared to be a considerate and gentle moment.

Jadis smiled as she looked away from them and stared into the fire, thinking about what a normal relationship would be like with someone her age. Sure, Snape had had his considerate moments and other romantic moments when he said things that made her believe that he was really in love with her. However, they had to hide from the world and more often than not Snape was not a great person.

He was a jerk, cold and distant and he used his age over her like as a good reason for why he was always right about everything. For once, she thought that it would be nice to feel like she was in equal in a relationship. To not be put down like she was a child, and as she closed her eyes and thought about how nice it was when Jay was running his fingers so softly through her hair she felt like she was so special.

She couldn't remember Snape making her feel special. She supposed the only time he was nice or gentle was when they made love and just afterwards. Other than that, it was nothing but trying to keep up with appearances when they were in public and when they were in private, perhaps he revealed a little more of himself, something weaker and more human, but … he was Snape, almost always guarded and trying to push her away.

Jadis could forgive him, sometimes that was what she thought. She'd seen the Dark Mark, she'd known that he turned spy for Dumbledore and that he was still struggling with his Dark past. She understood his need to protect himself from getting hurt, after all, who didn't? It was like the law of survival and self-preservation.

However, that was before she remembered the way he chose to end things and what he was treating her like. She could even forgive the way that he broke her heart, if he would only leave her alone, but he didn't seem about to do that. He didn't seem to be about to forgive whatever she had done wrong. _It's not my fault he "fell in love" with me._ He couldn't deny that he'd fallen for her, after all she bore that mark on her person forever now; however, there was no way to prove that he'd fallen out of love with her. She simply had to take him at his words and cruel actions.

"Jadis, you look a little tired, maybe you should go to bed and try and get some sleep before you have to go to Astronomy," Jadis looked away from the fire and looked over at Pamela. She merely nodded and wished the two a good night as she headed up the stairs. She could feel her heart hurting as she thought about Snape not loving her.

She threw herself on the bed and pulled the curtains around the bed before lying onto her side. Like usual, she curled herself into the fetal position and hugged herself, tears racing down her cheeks. It hurt so much, to know that Snape had stopped loving her. She would have preferred to know that he was never in love to begin with. At least then she would be able to say that he hadn't fallen out of love with her because he was never capable of loving to begin with.

Instead, she was left to wonder what the hell she had done wrong. Wondering why someone like Snape was capable of falling in love with them one moment and hating them the next. _What is wrong with me?_ She asked herself as she shivered.

Neji, as always sensed when his mistress needed him and jumped up onto the bed, curling onto her side so that she could hug him and cry into his fur. She would continue to love Snape for quite sometime, she knew it. She even knew that she perhaps, would never stop loving him. Try as she might, she didn't understand how she had fallen in love with him, but all she knew was that she had fallen quite hard for him and she wanted nothing more then to stop.

The tears steadily poured as her thoughts reminisced back to a time when she felt the happiest she had ever been. Perhaps because the whole in her heart was finally filled with something, because someone had actually loved her, she guessed that that was the reason it was so much harder. Because he was the only person to have ever loved her, she'd never known love before him, and so suddenly he didn't love her anymore.

"_This might hurt," Jadis looked up into the coal black eyes that were looking down at her with such intensity as they smoldered beneath his black lashes. She bit down on her lips as she nodded her head. He was poised on top of her and he was ready to penetrate her. He'd prepared her for what was to come as best he could, however, first times were always jarring, no matter what. "It's so unfair," he said, gently running his fingertips across her cheek before entangling in her hair. _

"_What?" Jadis whispered softly. He turned his gaze to her, and there was a look that was actually sorry in his eyes as he looked into hers._

"_That while I will feel pleasure from your tightness, that I will hurt you," he responded. "I love you," he said, bending his head down and kissing her collarbone lightly. Jadis shivered in pleasure and arched her body into his._

"_You have always told me life is unfair," she whispered as she kissed the top of his head. Severus raised his head and looked into her eyes. Jadis smiled up and him and brushed the curtains of hair back from his face too look into his eyes more clearly. "I'm a strong girl; I can handle anything you throw at me, especially because I love you."_

"_I know, trust me to never do anything that will hurt you if I didn't know you can take it," he said, leaning down and sensually slowly placing a kiss on her lips. "Ask me to stop if it hurts," he whispered into her skin as he very slowly tried to ease himself in, while kissing her to help her relax._

---

Jadis made her way down the Astronomy tower back towards the Slytherin common room to get some shut-eye before she went ahead to Defense Against the Dark Arts later in the morning. She felt much better now than she had when she'd gone to sleep. She didn't know if it was because of the crying or because she'd spent an entire lesson flirting with the cute Ravenclaw while looking up at the stars, but for whatever reason, she felt better.

She didn't feel weak, and she wondered if that was only because of Snape hadn't said anything or even looked at her since Friday. She couldn't imagine that this would last, but for the moment, as she bounced her way down the stairs, she wouldn't think about her pain. She wouldn't think about how she was sure it would return. All she could do was continue to take it one step at time and hope for the best and try to make for the best.

**TBC…**

**A/N: Please Review! **


	7. Lie Detector's Lies

**Disclaimer: **Song in this chapter is 'All You Need Is Love' by the Beatles.

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 7: Lie Detector's Lies**_

"Jadis, would you mind walking around and helping your classmates make a Patronous?" Lupin asked. Today was the last day that they would be working on the Patronous charm. Jadis turned to look at Lupin and raised a brow, looking like she'd really rather not.

"I'm helping Pam and Matt," she said. Lupin raised a brow at her. "Fine!" she said, smiling only slightly as she bounced away. Lupin looked after Jadis, chuckling lightly as he continued to make his way around the class. Many students, he could see, were actually practicing outside of class, but other than Jadis, only about two other students had managed the feat, strangely enough they were Hufflepuffs.

Jadis walked around, trying to help out some of her classmates, but the Hufflepuffs seemed to recoil in her presence and the Griffindors merely glared at her very pointedly. "I'm only trying to help Wood, it's not my fault you hold a grudge against Slytherin because your team hasn't won the Quidditch cup," Jadis said, taking offense at something Oliver Wood said as she walked away.

She ignored whatever he said after she walked away and made her way over to the Ravenclaws, of which there were five and smiled as Jay looked up and beamed at her. "Come to help me again?" Jay asked as he smiled down at her. "You must be starting to think I'm very thick."

"Jay Booth, no, NEVER," she said, playfully sarcastically.

"Well we can't all be a genius like Miss Luna, gorgeous witch extraordinaire," he said as he looked at her. Jadis felt her cheeks turn pink, she was never very good with compliments. _Why does he have to be so cute and charming?_ She wondered to herself as she tried to make her mind concentrate on the fact that she was supposed to help him. Jadis cast a brief look around and noticed at how the two Ravenclaw girls were glaring at her.

"Come along Mr. Booth, let's see what you've got," she said, standing aside. Jay smiled as he pointed his wand forward.

"You're going to make it impossible for me to concentrate," Jay said. Jadis bit down momentarily on her bottom lip to keep from squealing.

"Think happy thoughts," she said with a smile. Jay set his jaw straight; he had a very firm, square jay that was very attractive and rosy pink lips that contrasted against his skin. She only noticed them because he pursed them together in his concentration. She watched as he opened his mouth and heard him say the incantation quite strongly, sending wisps of light out of his wand. "You did it!" as the mist turned into some kind of bird. She couldn't tell what kind as she'd never particularly cared for birds. As far as she was concerned, most of them were rats with wings.

Jay smiled down at the bird on the floor and looked over at the teenage girl that was standing close by. He smiled as he walked over to her, slipping his arms around the unsuspecting teenager. "You know I was just thinking about you," he said into her hair as he reached up and pulled the hair band out of her hair and let her hair cascade down her back. He pulled away and looked into Jadis' pink face. He enjoyed the effect her had on her. "You look beautiful with your hair down."

She looked into his gentle face and nodded, not knowing how to respond to that. _Why can't I ever respond to compliments?!_ Her mind yelled at her as she nodded stupidly once more and walked away. She wondered, why she was being such an idiot. Boys never had this affect on her. What was she doing anyway?

Her stomach clenched as she smiled tightly and walked around the room. This felt completely strange and new to her. It frightened her a little.

---

Jadis shivered that evening when she was sitting after dinner in the common room. It was like she'd heard the dreadful sound of a Banshee scream, those darn heralds of doom. She wondered if that had anything to do with the fact that for the past several minutes she'd been so engrossed in her History of Magic's textbook reading about the Great Banshee Purging of Ireland in the 1100s; that afternoon Binns had assigned them to read 20 pages from their text and write a full essay summary on what they read ant the implications of such an act and it's reflection on wizarding society.

Professor Lupin had only assigned some light reading and told them for next lesson they should review all the curses, spells, hexes, jinxes and counter curses they'd ever learned. Jadis had reviewed half-assed during her free period, as she remembered almost everything practical she'd learned. She almost wished that she had History of Magic after lunch so that she could have gotten started on her History of Magics homework much earlier. She had the feeling that this particular essay would take her all night.

She sighed heavily as she looked over at Pam, who was apparently reviewing for Lupin's class. It was hilarious, for she was trying so hard to study, while Matt was trying so hard to distract her. Like most of their classmates, he didn't seem to care too much for reviewing for Lupin's class. She watched as Matt became impatient and a gleam came into his eyes. It was that mischievous gleam that meant a heap of trouble and embarrassment for his victim.

"Love, love, love. Love, love, love. Love, love, love," Matt started singing, steadily getting louder. Gradually, the common room started to become quieter and quieter as he got louder. Pam looked up from the book she was looking through and looked at her boyfriend horrified. Jadis herself wondered what he was doing with an amused smile on her face.

"What are you doing?" Pam asked, beginning to panic.

"_There's nothing you can do that can't be done. There's nothing you can say that can't be sung. Nothing you can say but you can learn to play the games, it's easy_," the Slytherin common room burst into laughter as Matt sang loudly and goofily causing Pamela to turn fuchsia pink. Jadis couldn't help but laugh, despite the fact that she thought that Matt was completely killing a Muggle classic. She guessed that he knew it because he was a half-blood too. "_Nothing you can make that can't be made. No one you can save that can't be saved. Nothing you can do but you can learn to be you in time, it's easy."_

However, before Matt could get to the chorus, the Common room started to ripple with silence as groups of students started to open and part for a raging tornado. _That's not a tornado, it's just Snape… a very, very pissed Snape. Oh Shi… _Before Jadis was finished with her thought Snape was barking at all of them to go to their dorms at once. Despite how early it was, one look at Snape sent the whole Common room scrambling.

Jadis was amongst the many to shoot up, however her history text which had been resting in her lap accidentally fell on the floor. "Shit!" she cursed under her breath as people ran by her. Before she could bend down to pick it up, someone had accidentally kicked it.

Jadis picked up her things and trailed after her History of Magic book, ducking low in the hopes that Snape wouldn't spot her among the mass of students trying to get up to their dorms as quickly as possible. However, she couldn't escape like her quickly disappearing classmates as her book had been kicked into the main stream of scurrying Slytherins. She felt like they were playing football with her book. Every time she was in reach of it, someone accidentally kicked it away. Once, someone had accidentally kicked her hand. _Son of a…_

She felt a pincer-like hold on her arm yank her up, causing her to drop her bag on the floor and slamming her against the edge of a table nearby. She groaned loudly, shutting her eyes tight at the jolt of pain in her lower back. _So this is what Professor Lupin felt when I accidentally slammed my cart into him,_ she thought as she slowly opened her eyes to look into Snape's. She glanced around and felt her heart thundering at she realized she and Snape were now completely alone.

_He must've found out about the Boggart_, she thought briefly before Snape snarled at her. "Must you always disobey me, Luna?"

"I wasn't disobeying… I … dropped my book. I was trying to pick it up," she said. "Professor, my arm is going numb," she said, wincing at the pain in her arm. Really, it wasn't the physical pain that was hurting her so much as the emotional. Here she was, standing alone in an empty common room no one would dare walk into now, with the man she most loved standing very close to her, holding her arm and pressing her against a table. The emotional pain was unbearable and she wanted to get the hell away from him.

"You're so weak," he smirked at her, noticing the tears that had welled up in her dark eyes. He relinquished his hold on her arm, and waved his wand at her fallen bag and battered book, causing them to float over to her. He was too busy doing these things that he didn't see the anger flashing in her eyes. _I am not weak!_ Her mind yelled, repeating the mantra that she'd been trying to convince herself of for as long as she could remember.

"Excuse me, Professor Snape, but I'm not the one that is bringing personal matters into their job. For someone so very cold and collected, you sure can't control your temper," Jadis said coldly, her voice gaining strength as she spoke. Severus turned to glare at her, bearing his teeth as she snatched her things from the air.

"Don't be so insolent with me, you have no idea how impossible I can make this year for you," he said as he glared down into her eyes. Jadis swallowed a lump in her throat as she stared up at him pleadingly, wishing he would just leave her alone. However, she saw something falter in him, and it possessed her to do something quite stupid.

Leaning in, she closed the small gap that Severus had left them, capturing his mouth ardently with her own. This wasn't a slow and sensual, but innocent kiss like the millions of others they had shared. This kiss was only pure and unadulterated longing, passion and need. It was a dark kiss filled with anger, hate and bitterness that squeezed their lungs and made it impossible to breathe.

As soon as Severus felt her mouth on his he was shocked and tried to pull away, but Jadis was too quick. She'd entangled her hands into his hair and was holding him in place. The moment she allowed her tongue to trespass his mouth and wage a war with his, Severus knew he was loosing his ability to control the situation; especially as when her tongue first entered his she pressed her body against his and wrapped one of her wonderfully long legs around his hip.

Severus could not help the guttural moan that escaped his throat as she'd forced his growing erection into her pelvis. His hand automatically grasped onto her thigh when he felt it encircle him and it hardened more at the thought of her lovely legs. However, his moment of bliss, for despite the roughness, this was still the woman he loved kissing him, it did not last long.

Jadis un-wrapped her leg from around him and pulled away. She slapped him hard against the face and glared at him as though she wanted to spit on him. Severus held his stinging red cheek as he turned to look at her in the eyes with a murderous gaze. "You are a lier, Severus Snape, you still love me," she said angrily before slapping him once more and running up to her dorm.

Severus moved his hand from one stinging cheek to the other as he watched her leave. He was still in utter shock that she'd struck him. Twice! However, he was more angry that she was right and that she had somehow seen the truth. He cursed under his breath, wondering how he was going to trick her once more into believing that he truly did not love her.

---

Sufficed to say that she spent the whole night silently crying into Neji's fur. She had no idea what had possessed her to make such an idiotic move. She was no longer at all sure that if what she'd seen in his gaze was really love. It sure had looked like it; it was that exact gaze he gave her whenever he told her he loved her whenever he made her feel it. But perhaps she'd only seen what she'd wanted to see.

She didn't need to wake up in the morning, as she'd spent the entire night awake. However, as she lay in bed, completely emptied out of her tears, she found that there was no will left in her to get up. She was utterly exhausted and all she wanted to do was curl up and die. The pain had been renewed and all that old confusion seemed to have resurfaced as bad as when he'd first ended things between them.

When she at last heard the girls rustling out of bed to get ready, she'd suddenly recalled her resolve to not miss any more of her NEWT classes. Sitting up slowly in bed, she cleaned off her face and realized that she was going to wash the weariness out of her body and numb the immense amount of pain.

Her mind flashed to the treasure chest, but shook her head of this. If McGonagall noticed something was wrong, she would have to face the inquisition. No, all she could afford before Transfiguration, which was just after breakfast, was a freezing shower. It would wash away the weariness and make her forget her inner pain, to feel the freezing water prickle and crack and numb her skin. It she was lucky, maybe she's catch pneumonia.

**TBC…**

**A/N: Please Review! **


	8. Enhanced Senses

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 8: Enhanced Senses**_

Friday, of course with the dreaded Double Potions had sped up and come much sooner than Jadis would have liked and no matter how well she'd managed to avoid Snape the previous two days, it was unavoidable that she would see him. She rose early from bed and dressed quickly, heading towards her trunk and pulling out the small chest. She quickly took out a fag and placed the little chest back into the bottom of her trunk.

Picking up her wand from her nightstand and satchel in which the previous night she'd stuck her potions book, ingredients and her Defense Against the Dark Arts book, she quietly exited her dorm. As it was seven in the morning and classes didn't even begin until nine, most people woke up at about eight in the morning and everyone was still sleeping.

Slowly, she headed down the stairs and out of Slytherin. The hallways were mainly empty and while it wasn't against the rules to be out in the halls so early in the morning, she didn't particularly want to be seen by anyone, most especially not by Snape. It didn't take her very long to get out of the castle and wander down towards the lake.

_I should only smoke half, if I take the whole thing I'll be too happy and he'll know that somethings up,_ Samara thought as she brought out the fag. She placed the filter in her lips and from the tip of her wand, a small flame shot up, igniting the cigarette. Her magical creation, as she was so very good at Potions, was a mixture of plants and roots that made her forget her problems, mellowed her out, enhanced her senses and made her feel like she was on uppers.

However, if she only smoked about half of it, it should be sufficient enough to make her mellow so that nothing Snape said or did would affect her. Well, it wouldn't make her breakdown and cry in class at least. But this wasn't something that she was planning to do for every time she had his class, or at least, if today went well she supposed she would.

She stared out over the lake, blanking her mind as she took a drag from the cigarette. She stared at the way the water was sparkling and twinkling as the sun slowly made it's climb up the sky, catching the water and making it wink at her. Pulling her right hand away from her face, she held the cigarette between her index finger and middle fingers, near the tips of her fingers.

It wasn't that she thought that people looked cool smoking cigarettes and usually she'd made fun of muggles who were poisoning their lungs by doing it, but the reason she'd transfigured the ingredients into a cigarette was so that in case a teacher ever came across one, they wouldn't think much of it. It was pretty genius, and the only reason she'd created them in the first place was to help her with the stress of OWLs her fifth year and it wasn't like she was the only one that needed them.

She'd given some to Matt and Pam, yes she was surprised too that Pam wanted some, however Matt let it slip to other Slytherins. Before she knew it the whole fifth year knew about them, like it was some secret that should only be kept amongst them and she had them coming up to her asking them to make some for her. She absolutely denied to at first, but when they started to offer her money, she gave in.

Transfiguring them into cigarettes was only a precaution, one which she was glad she had taken as a few Hufflepuffs had gotten caught with them. Of course, Professor McGonagall bought their story that they'd simply started smoking cigarettes during the Christmas holidays and did nothing more than give them a speech about how they couldn't be polluting their bodies. She broke them and threw them away, something that Jadis was very happy about. After all, had it been Snape, he would have thought to smell them and she was sure that the Potions Master would, through the minty smell, recognize that there were potions ingredients in there.

Jadis once more brought the cigarette to her mouth and took a deep drag, before dusting the ashes out on the other end and expelling the smoke from her lungs. She'd been very careful to make sure that there was no way that smoking these ingredients would cause any damage to the respiratory system by smoking them. After all, she didn't want to pollute her body. It had been the whole reason she'd been particularly careful when it came to picking out the right ingredients to combine.

It wasn't addictive; she'd made sure of that as well. She already had one addiction that she was trying to get rid of, she hadn't needed another one. Risk of dependency on the other hand, was a completely different matter. Students liked it so much that they constantly wanted more and more until at last, she told them that she was closing up shop after OWLs and that if anyone dared bother her for anymore, then she wouldn't bring them out when they needed them in their seventh year for NEWTs.

A promise that she had yet to make good on as mostly no one seemed to remember at the moment about it. She was glad for it. She didn't particularly feel like whipping up hundreds of these things when she really should be studying instead. However, she doubted that people at Hogwarts had such short term memory. She wondered if they were to ask her for it, why shouldn't she just tell them how to make it for themselves.

She dwelled on this thought as she took a couple of more drags. All she had to do was write up the ingredients and write out the instructions. She could sell that to certain students she thought were competent enough and let them do whatever the hell they wanted. However, she didn't dwell on this thought too long. She assumed that she'd make up her mind when and if they ever started to bug her into making it once more.

For now, she took one last drag and snuffed the end out gently to preserve the other half of the mellow-stick. The effects of it would settle on her in the next five or so minutes and should last during her whole Double Potions period. She sighed as she looked at the lake, placing a protection charm and the small stick so that it wouldn't break in her pocket. She smiled as she looked at a tentacle rise from the lake.

"Hello beastie," she said lowly with a smile on her face. She sighed once more as she turned her back to the lake and started to head back to the school. The problem with smoking anything was that it always made you hungry.

---

Jadis almost thought that she was going to be able to escape Potions unscathed once more as class started to come to an end. However, just as the bell rang she heard Snape call out and ask her to remain behind. Jadis merely shrugged as she started to put her things away and headed over to stand in front of Snape's Desk. She had a splitting headache, but she guessed that was because her enhanced senses were getting sick of the fumes of the Potions.

_As if they aren't bad enough as it is without enhanced senses, _she thought to herself. However, she realized she shouldn't really be complaining considering how well in check all her emotions were. She was able to look at Snape without feeling any pain, or love or even numbness. It was just a kind of serene, calmness. She felt very…Zen.

Snape looked over at Jadis from where he stood behind his desk. He gave her a cold look before looking around the classroom and watching the last students leave. He then picked up his wand and waved it lazily towards the door, causing it to close behind the last student, before walking around the desk and forcing her to turn around. He grabbed onto both her arms and pressed her against the desk. Jadis had a feeling of Déjà vu, however, merely stared at him with a raised brow.

"You've been avoiding me, now let me make this very clear to you because apparently you didn't understand me the first time. I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE," he said in a lowly murderous tone of voice. Jadis stared into his black eyes and merely continued to stare at him with a raised brow as he pressed himself against her and nuzzled his nose in the crook of her neck. Jadis closed her eyes at the feeling and felt a tug on the corner of her mouth. Enhanced senses made it feel like ecstasy to feel his lips against her neck.

"Then what are you doing?" Jadis asked as she tilted her head so that he could have better access to her bare neck.

"I don't have to love you to want you, I am still a man," he breathed into her ear. Jadis shivered at this and wrapped her arms around his neck, her body's need taking complete hold of her. She wrapped a leg around him before wrapping the other and climbing onto him. Severus moaned into her neck as he started to suck on it lightly.

Jadis reveled at the feel of his mouth at her neck, the pleasure doubled due to the fact that she was under the influence of her magical cigarette. She found that she couldn't control herself and Severus was unwilling to stop. He had a point to make, and she needed to feel quite used for him to try and make her realize that he didn't love her, even though his heart hurt to think of what it might due to her. However, he repeated to himself over and over that she was very strong.

He placed her on the edge of the desk and continued to suck on her neck, pushing away any thoughts of pain and forcing himself to lose himself in the feeling of her body. It wouldn't help his erection to think of her pain and without an erection there was no way to make her feel used.

With need, he opened her robes quickly with his nimble fingers and opened them to reveal the uniform beneath. He reached his hands down to her thighs and pushed up her skirt, causing Jadis to moan and arch to him in anticipation. However, she could begin to feel something within her, something coming alive, or awakening as the pleasure dampened in the shadows of steadily growing pain. Her eyes widened and she pushed him away from her, getting of the desk and straightening herself out.

She stared into his eyes, suddenly feeling her eyes focus and narrow on him as her senses slowly returned to normal; the heart-broken feeling once more settling down over her. She needed to get out before her eyes could become teary. "But if you don't love me than I don't want you anymore," she said as she picked up her things and walked out of his classroom.

She took in deep breaths as she exited his dungeon and walked quickly down the hall, wondering what she should do now to numb the pain.

---

Jadis groaned as she fell onto her back. She lay there, staring up at the bright sky and thought, _I had a good run_. Considering her emotionally wearied state, she's managed to keep up with the quick Oliver Wood and deflect most of his curses. They'd been going at it for the better part of fifteen minutes. She was sure that the Wood kid was throwing her about five or six curses per minute and she managed to deflect all of them. However, her weariness did not allow her to send any in return, not that she had much of a desire to.

That is, until this very moment were now she lay on the grass, clutching a hand to her chest were the spell had hit and caused her to fall on the ground, her wand slipping from her grasp. She brought up a hand and brushed the bit of sweat on her forehead away with her bandaged left hand. Had she not escaped to Slytherin after Potions and cut herself, she was quite sure that she would have already gotten off the floor to receive a bigger beating form Wood, just so that she could feel alive.

Even though she didn't have a wand, she would have still gotten up and tried something. However, instead she felt drained, too tired to even get up. "Jadis, are you all right?" Professor Lupin's concerned face suddenly loomed over her. He had brought them out onto the grounds to practice dueling. Jadis and Oliver had been picked as the second pair to duel. His first had been Matt and Pam and when he noted that they were using kitty gloves with each other he picked a pair that were going to do real damage to each other. After all, the point of this lesson was to show them something as close to real as possible of what a real duel was like.

"Sure thing Professor," she smiled at him. Lupin smiled at her and outstretched his hand to help her up. "I think I'll lie here for a moment," she said politely, waving his hand away. He furrowed his brow for a moment, but merely nodded and turned to the rest of the class.

"As you can see, Oliver managed to disarm Jadis. If ever a situation arises where you are disarmed and it is a life and death situation, you must be resourceful and do the first thing that comes to mind. Many witches and wizards had resorted to hand to hand combat in these situations and it might just give you the element of surprise. Though of course, if the person you are fighting against is still armed, you might want to be more wary," Professor Lupin instructed.

"Jadis," Jadis rolled onto her side, shakily rising to a sitting position and took in deep breaths as she stared down at the ground. Why was her body so exhausted? _I'm not this weak_, she thought to herself as she stared down at the grass before standing up. She looked over at Lupin, who was still staring at her in concern. "Are you sure you are all right?" he asked as he stared at her.

"Yes, I'm fine," she said a little sharply. She smiled to try and cover it up. He merely nodded once more.

"All right, well I want you to all pair up and space apart, and pair up with people from houses other than your own. You already know the formalities of dueling and while they are not used in a real duel, as we are in class I shall have you observe them. If I say a duel is over, it's over," Lupin said, ending his instructions sharply. Everyone immediately scurried to find a partner.

Jadis grimaced as she found herself paired up with one of the Ravenclaws that hated her for how well she got along with Jay. She looked around and spotted Jay with Pamela, clearly he thought that this was a favor to her as he really wasn't hurting her. Jadis smiled, however, suddenly felt herself on her back again.

"What the bloody hell is that, you can at least wait till I'm looking," Jadis said as sat up and looked over at the Ravenclaw. The blond merely shrugged as she looked at her, with a wicked smile on her face. Jadis narrowed her eyes as she stood up, pulling her wand and starting the duel once more, though she really didn't have the energy for it. Most of the time, she spent deflecting what the Ravenclaw threw at her, but did not send any in return.

This seemed to only patronize the Ravenclaw who then started to throw more and more curses at her. Jadis groaned when a particular flash of red light sent her hurtling into the air and crash down to the ground on her side. Unluckily, there just happened to a jagged rock were she felt, clipping her on her mouth. Jadis immediately rolled to the other side and rested herself up on her elbow, her head drooping close to the ground as she panted, her hair having finally fallen loose from its confines and falling on either side of her face.

She stared down momentarily at the ground before her, cast into mild shadow because of her hair. She narrowed her eyes momentarily as she stared at the grass wondering what that thick, dark pool was. Slowly, she reached with her fingers to her mouth and felt something wet. _Am I drooling?_ She wondered stupidly for a moment.

Her heart was thundering and her mouth hurt. She guessed, as she reached to the corner of her mouth and looked at her dark fingers what the hell that was. Sitting up, she brushed the lose hair from her face and looked down at her fingers. _Blood? The bitch made me bleed?_ She wondered as she started to shake at the sight, feeling anger roll into her. _No ONE draws blood from me but ME!_

Remus turned around, at the sight of Jadis flying through the hair and landing hard. After just having separated a group of fighting students, who'd refused to stop when he'd asked, he was starting to make his way over to Jadis. By now she had sat up and staring at her hands. Jadis, who always smelled of metal and jasmines, smelled more of metal now and as his sharpened eyesight narrowed on her fingertips and mouth he understood why. She was bleeding.

He'd been observing closely when she was fighting with Oliver and she seemed to expunge a lot of effort on only defending herself, and when she couldn't get up from the ground when Oliver at last disarmed her he'd thought she was a bit weak. However, he felt very confused when he saw her suddenly get up off the floor and launch towards the girl that she'd been fighting and tackle her to the ground before ferociously beating on the girl.

Remus eyes widened as he watched Jadis straddle the other girl, gather up her hair in one of her hands and start to punch her in the face. Immediately, he ran over to the girls, yelling at them to stop. However, Jadis didn't seem to hear him. He quickly ran past all the duelers, causing them all to stop and turn to see what was happening. Remus had to forcibly remove Jadis from atop the other girl.

"Jadis, Jadis, stop," he cooed as she continued to thrash in his arms. She hadn't been able to see anything, everything seemed so red and fuzzy, however, slowly her eyes seemed to focus and she stopped, aware that someone's very strong arms were wrapped around her middle very tightly. She was very aware that someone's body was pressing up very tightly against her back and a soft voice was penetrating her hazy mind and brushing up against her ear.

Jadis shook her head and looked over to see that all of her classmates were staring at her in horror as she extracted herself from whoever was holding her. To her horror, it was Professor Lupin and he was staring at her with a deeply furrowed brow. Immediately all the color in her face seemed to fall away as she looked around, leaving her looking ghostly pale and ghastly due to the scarlet blood on her mouth.

"What is wrong with you?" another Ravenclaw yelled as she bent over her friend. Jadis turned to look at all the Ravenclaws gather around their fallen friend, glaring over at her. Even Jay was amongst them and she felt her heart pang slightly. _There goes my only chance for a normal relationship._

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. Honestly," she said her horrified and pleading gaze to look over at Lupin and the rest of her classmates who were all looking at her, judging her. Well everyone except for the Slytherins, her fellow house mates, who all looked very pleased by what they saw.

The bell rang, though no one seemed to take notice as they were all frozen, staring at Jadis. Remus wondered for a moment if the girl had freaked out or something. "All right everyone back to the castle, Jadis, please stay a moment," Remus said, motioning for everyone to leave and quickly healing the Ravenclaw. Jadis hadn't moved, she didn't know if she had planned to when he asked her to stay. She felt as though her body was very heavy and she couldn't move.

"Are you all right?" Remus asked as he walked over to the seventh year Slytherin, once he'd healed the Ravenclaw and set her and her group of friends on their way. Jadis slowly turned to look at Remus and nodded.

"I guess I just saw my blood and freaked," Jadis mumbled, as she blushed. "I'm sorry Professor."

"It's all right Jadis, it was the assignment and I must say you did very well," Remus said. Jadis gave him a brief glance but looked away, scratching her neck. "Don't beat yourself over it. I was a bit worried when all you did was deflect and wouldn't attack, you know in a real duel you have to do more than protect yourself," Remus said as he looked at her.

"But… it's not like she was a danger to me," Jadis said guiltily as she looked at Remus. Remus smiled at her, seeing that she really didn't want to hurt people.

"Well no, but unless you practice to the best of your ability, how will you know what you are capable?" he asked with an encouraging smile. Jadis turned to him and smiled lightly, hardly feeling any better. "However, for future reference once you have them in submission, how about you go easy on them?" Lupin joked, his eyes sparkling.

"Sure thing Professor," Jadis smiled.

"Come on, I'm famished and I wasn't doing any fighting," Remus smiled. Jadis matched his smile with one of her own and together they made their way towards the castle.

**TBC…**

**A/N: Thank you, to those few who are reviewing. Please Review! **


	9. Bad Days Before Morning Stars

**Disclaimer: **The end of this chapter is not meant to offend anyone. As a Catholic myself I' not, and I hope that no one takes seriously the bit of fun I poke at Christianity at the end.

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 9: Bad Days Before Morning Stars**_

It was another perfect Monday; of course this is just sarcasm as there is no such thing as perfect Mondays. Not unless you are under Felix Felicis, which at the moment Jadis was not; though she was sure she could have used some, especially considering the horribly long weekend that had just passed. She had been swamped with homework that she couldn't even procrastinate her homework till Sunday and had to actually waste her Saturday on homework as well.

Herbology that morning was a perfect disaster. She couldn't stop noticing how Jay would not stop glaring at her, along with all his stupid friends. Neither were the Hufflepuffs too enthused to be around her. When she'd asked one of them to pass her a container, they'd passed her one that was filled with puss and she had to make a trip down to the Hospital wing, which was a real drag. Afterwards she had to walk her happy ass all the way back to the Greenhouses to find out what her homework was. And that was a very long freaking walk considering all she wanted to do was go eat lunch!

As usual, she'd spent her free period in the library doing homework, until she ate a chocolate frog, due to her lunch-less stomach was growling, and thanks to her luck Madam Pomfrey caught her. The woman then proceeded to shout like a banshee and started hurtling things at her until she was running out of the library with her things. She was quite sure she had a considerable lump in the back of her noggin now thanks to the old vulture.

Lunch, wasn't any better. She'd been hoping that she'd at least get to relax, but now, some bloody idiot child by the last name Malfoy had knocked over a goblet and spilled disgusting pumpkin juice all over her! Then the boy had the audacity to smirk at her and ask one of his cronies to clean her up, at which point the idiot boy he'd talked to lit her robes on fire! Her robes could have been easily repaired if it wasn't a magical fire. However, instead she flashed her wand at her robes and stared down at her burned and ashy apparel while the whole of Slytherin laughed at her.

She could have hexed them all right then and there, but she didn't have the time. She needed to head down to Slytherin and change out her robes quickly before she was late to Charms. Which she was late for anyway and Professor Flitwick wasn't feeling very forgiving, though she guessed it was because he'd heard what she had done to one of his precious Ravenclaws. Anyway, for the first ten minutes or so of Charms, she found herself floating on the ceiling while most of the class laughed at her.

Flitwick tried to ignore this and start the class, however, chuckled himself and decided that he'd punished her long enough and allowed her to come back to earth. She merely glared at the tiny Professor as she stood up. She knew that he wasn't vengeful and couldn't hold a grudge, but he was a mischievous little tike. It annoyed her. Well mostly if amused her, but not when she was the target of one of his little panks.

However, now she was grateful that they were starting the last class of the day. Naturally she would much rather have preferred it was the end of class, but she supposed that Transfiguration wasn't going to be too horrible. "All right, today you will be passing to the front of the class, one by one, to be tested on the functionality of your transfigurations of small objects into large and purposeful ones," Professor McGonagall said.

_We have a test today?_ Her mind panicked in her head. She flicked Matt in the back of the head, causing him to turn and look at her. She mouthed the question she'd just asked herself to him. "Obviously, she just said we did," he said as he glared at her, while rubbing his head.

"Since when?" she asked.

"Since she said so in the end of class on Wednesday," he replied lowly, before turning around to hear McGonagall continue her instructions so that he could find a place to jab a witty comment to send the class into roaring laughter. Jadis frowned as she thought of the end of class on Wednesday. _What the hell had I been doing?_ She wondered to herself, wondering how she had missed that information.

Suddenly someone coughed lightly behind her and she turned around. She grimaced as she stared into the glaring eyes of Jay Booth. _Oh, that's why,_ her brain mumbled to itself as she turned back around to look at McGonagall who was staring at her with a raised brow. _Crap, what did I miss now?_

"I'm sorry, what?" Jadis asked as she looked over at her. McGonagall's nostrils flared.

"I said you're first," McGonagall stated. Jadis' eyes widened, she was going to use someone else as an example first. Jadis grimaced as she slowly stood up and headed to the front of the class. As though she hadn't been humiliated enough already and as though _this _wasn't going to be humiliating enough, there was a knock on the door. "Come in," McGonagall called out.

Professor Lupin walked into the classroom, smiling apologetically over at Professor McGonagall, holding a particularly thick book in his arm. Jadis looked over at the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor and ran her left hand over her face. _I can't believe it,_ she said mentally as she rubbed her face. "I'm sorry for interrupting, I just wanted to return this to you," he said politely as he smiled over at Jadis before handing the book to McGonagall.

"Not at all Professor Lupin, would you care to see how Miss Luna performs her exam?" Professor McGonagall asked. _Does the old Scot have it in for me? I never thought that she did._

"Sure," Professor Lupin replied. _Doesn't he have something better to do, like teach for instance?_

"Go ahead Miss Luna, transfigure this into any larger object which serves a purpose," she said, handing Jadis the book that Lupin had just given her. Jadis slowly looked at the book and turned it over in her hands, as if she would find some kind of answer on the cover of the heavy, leather bound book.

"Any large object?" Jadis asked as she turned to look at McGonagall.

"Yes, that is what I just said," McGonagall said, clearly getting weary. Suddenly it occurred to Jadis as she thought about what McGonagall had just said. _Would you care to see how Miss Luna performs…_ Jadis smiled. She turned around and walked a bit away, further back so that the desks, neither the students nor McGonagall's would get in the way.

Bending down, she lay the book down on the floor. She then pulled out a quill from her pocket and lay it down before the book, both laying parallel. She then transfigured the quill into a bench. McGonagall and Lupin both looked rather unimpressed, though Lupin looked a little amused. "Well that was very simple-minded…" McGonagall started to say before Jadis interrupted.

"Oh, I'm not done," Jadis said, looking over at McGonagall, who was now looking at her with a raised brow. "I suppose if whatever we transfigure the object has to serve a purpose, and that that purpose must be tested? Well that's what the bench is for," she said in explanation. Once more, McGonagall stared at her in puzzlement, while Remus merely stared curiously. "I'm going to need a bit of room Professors," she said as she looked at them, causing them to step back.

She then turned her gaze to the book and pointed her wand at it, thinking very hard of the object and everything that it entailed before a large black piano stood before the bench. She smiled as she stared at her accomplishment. She then turned to both her Professors. While Lupin was amazed, McGonagall's mouth was pressed into a hard line as Jadis smiled over at her.

"Shall I test it?" she asked, however did not wait for a reply and sitting down at the piano, placing one of her feet on the pedals. She rubbed her hands together before interlacing her fingers and cracking her knuckles. She then wiggled them as she made them hover over the keys, closing her eyes.

Slowly, her hands started to stroke the keys in a slow maner, the classroom filling with music from the instrument that she was playing. Her fingers pressed down on all the right keys causing all manner of notes to form the sweet melody of Greensleeves being mournfully played, as was her style. Jadis felt the smile on her face slowly slipping away as she lost herself in the notes of the song, filling the hole inside of her heart with lamentation.

"I think you have proven your point," McGonagall's voice said, penetrating her thoughts. Jadis opened her eyes and turned to look at the Transfiguration Professor and Lupin. She merely smiled at them as she stood up and waved her wand at the objects. She then bent down and picked up both objects, handing one over to McGonagall before walking over to her seat. _Perhaps today won't be as terrible anymore._

---

"Professor Lupin, what are you doing up so early?" Jadis asked when she came across Lupin in the great hall at around four in the morning. Well it was a little later, nearing five, but early enough, that the sun had yet to rise. Remus turned from looking out the window, turning to look at the student who was up at this hour.

"What are _you_ doing up at this hour?" Remus asked as he looked at her. Jadis smiled.

"I had astronomy a couple hours ago and couldn't really get back to sleep," she replied as she looked at her Professor. It was true, she didn't know why she couldn't go to sleep. She guessed it was probably because after eating a big dinner, she had gone straight to bed and woken up to Astronomy and since she'd slept earlier she couldn't now. So instead, she'd gotten up to do all the homework she'd neglected to do after dinner when she decided to go to sleep.

She assumed that now she was going to be tired in her classes later that day, which was bad considering she had Defense Against the Dark Arts and Binns today. While she loved History of Magic, she couldn't really stand the way that Binns taught it. It was so boring the way he spoke in that deadpan voice of his.

"Ah, I see. Well I was never good at Astronomy, stopped taking it after my fifth year, I don't even know what that is," he said pointing to the object in the sky that looked like a star. Jadis turned to look at the astrological body that he was pointing at and smiled.

"That's Lucifer," she said. Remus slowly turned around to look at her with a furrowed brow, wondering is she meant Satan. Jadis smiled as she caught the look he was giving her. "It's an old Roman astronomical term for the _herald of the sun._ Derives from latin, _Lucem Ferr,_ which means bringer or bearer of light. Therefore Lucifer, which can be seen before the sun rises, is the morning star. More commonly known as Venus."

"I see, Venus I recall," Remus said, chuckling lightly as he turned back to the sight, wondering if all that was really taught in Astronomy. "I wonder how that became interwoven with Satan."

"In the old Hebrew text they were speaking of a Babylonian king whose name was written in Hebrew and meant morning star. Later when it was translated, the name was turned into Lucifer and people then tied it to a fallen angel and this is how Satan was created, the rebellious, beautiful angel whom god revered over all else and made wiser than any of his other creatures and had given free will and later cast out of heaven with all the other rebellious angels and sent to hell. Though Catholics and probably other Christians say while in Isaiah they were speaking about the Babylonian king that the driving force behind the king was Satan and that's what it was actually referring to."

"Are you religious?" Remus asked, turning to look at her.

"No," she stated flatly. "Though at one point I was part of a church choir, participated in church events and charities, and went to many… what is it called? Bible study sessions? When I was 7, I was very bored. I got kicked out because I was overly… inquisitive. Apparently I was shaking belief structures."

Remus smiled at this image. A seven year old Jadis shaking people's belief structures? Simply amazing. "You managed to rile up Christians enough to have you kicked out?" he asked, clearly amused as he looked at her. Jadis smile, supposing it was a bit funny.

"Well, there was an accident, I suppose you can say," Jadis said. Remus looked at her, clearly intrigued. "I got into an argument with a little boy who started to call me the spawn of Satan because I questioned EVERYTHING and because said once that maybe Jesus was a wizard and maybe he was just doing a little bit of magic and not miracles. Well I got very mad about the nickname, but I pent it up and this is what happened," she said, motioning to the single strands of wine red hair on the right side of her face. "Obliviators had to be sent in and they told me that I should grow out of this, but I haven't and I've gotten very used to it."

"I see. I'd thought that was just something you did to your hair," Remus said while chuckling. Jadis turned to look at him.

"Glad that I amuse you," she said half-sarcastically. "Well I should try to get some sleep so that I don't fall asleep in your class later. See you later Professor Lupin," Jadis said. Remus merely nodded in response as she turned to leave. He shook his head as he once more turned to look at _Lucifer_, the morning star.

**TBC…**

** A/N:** Well I hoped you all liked this chapter. PLEASE REVIEW!


	10. September 21st

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 10: September 21**__**st**_

Jadis had snuck out especially early from Slytherin that morning and was glad that her birthday had fallen on a weekend. She thought back over her seven years at Hogwarts and all the ways that Matt had chose to embarrass her on her birthday. First year, he spread word around Hogwarts that it was her birthday and every time someone wished her a happy birthday, her robes would turn a hot pink that she hated. The spell never came off the stupid robes and she'd had to get rid of them.

Second year, he managed to transfigure her hat into a jester cap and when he'd put it on her head in McGonagall's class she'd been forced to stand on her desk and dance on top of it until someone said the magical words to get her to stop. For the following lesson, she spent the whole period dancing on her desk. McGonagall had tried to get her off the desk and had several teachers try several different spells on her to get her to stop while the whole class roared in laughter. Finally Professor Dumbledore walked in and for strange casual reason had stumbled across the magic words that got her to stop. '_Where did you buy your hat?' Who the hell was going to think about asking that when watching me dance like a fool?! _Jadis thought to herself.

In her third year, Matt had decided to _surprise_ her. Therefore the entire day she spent watching Matt in paranoia and he never did anything. Until dinner time when she received a birthday present that was supposedly from her parents. _I should have known that was fishy,_ Jadis thought darkly as she remembered opening the present with such excitement and haste only to see a large elf pop out of the box, sing her a Happy Birthday in an annoying high pitched voice before caking her. She couldn't get the chocolate cake out of her hair for days.

Finally, in her fourth year she'd decided to avoid Matt at all costs. However, she'd been unsuccessful and found herself crawling out of the lake, dripping wet. Fifth year, she'd luckily been in the Hospital wing and unconscious, and the previous year, she'd managed to finally avoid Matt completely. Of course, she'd had to cut her classes to do so and the following day had to confront a raging McGonagall, but it was worth it.

This year, she was hoping that she would only be so lucky as to manage to completely and utterly avoid him. She couldn't imagine what kind of embarrassment he had planned out for her this year. She didn't particularly know where he got all his ideas from, but she knew that there was no way in hell that she wanted to be embarrassed in front of the whole school as she had been on so many other previous occasions.

"What are you doing out so early?" Jadis froze at the sound of the silky soft voice as her body was overtaken with angst. Jadis closed her eyes momentarily as she slowly turned around, wishing with all her heart that her mind was playing some kind of masochistic joke on her and that he was really not standing in the desolate, dark hallway with her. However, as she opened her eyes she could see his silhouette stepping out of the darkness and walking slowly towards her. He had his hands held behind his back and a smug smirk on his face, indication that he already knew the answer to the question he'd asked.

"What are you doing here? Stalking me?" she asked as she looked at him. She immediately regretted saying the words when she thought of their Potions class on Friday. Unlike on other occasions, he had decided to completely ignore her during the lesson. However, she was sure that he would not remain in that mood for too long and it didn't help to egg him on. Snape narrowed his gaze at her and glared. _Am I _trying_ to get him to torture me again? _She thought as she stared into his cold, black gaze.

"You wish, because then at least you would have the hope that someone in this world could possibly love you," Severus said coldly as he walked over closer. _Ouch!_ Jadis thought while watching him walk at a very leisurely pace, slowly approaching her. _Why the hell did I have to run into him of all people? This is going to be a bad day, isn't it?_

"What are you trying to do to me Professor Snape? Are you trying to drive me out of my mind?" Jadis suddenly asked as she looked over at him. The last statement he'd said cut her very deep and she felt like every inch of her was in excruciating pain. Her throat felt tight and no matter how much she wished to never cry in front of him again, no matter how much she no longer wanted to show him any weakness, she couldn't stop it. She couldn't do anything to keep the tears from running down her face. All she could manage, was to look away and hope that he wouldn't notice.

Severus stared at Jadis, feeling his heart pang to see her like this and he stepped closer to her, holding out a hand to her shoulder. Jadis looked up and tried to read the expression in his back gaze, but found it impossible due to her tears. Everything was so bleary. It was hard enough to read Snape's expressions with clear sight, tears made everything all the much more worse.

"Stop hurting yourself Jadis," Severus said coldly, causing Jadis to look at him in horror and wondering if he'd found out about her cutting herself. "Hate me! Stop turning your anger into pain. Let yourself feel the anger, hate me for what I have done to you! Stop weakening yourself. You are stronger than this!" he hissed angrily at her as he shook her roughly by both arms.

Jadis shook her head. "I can't," she mumbled feebly as the tears continued to pour down her face and started to drip off her chin and splatter the stone floor. She'd always known that she should be angry with him. In fact, anger was the thing she felt once she'd walked away from him. _What right did _he_ have? He was a vile human being that no other woman would look upon! I may not be worthy of love, but I'm beautiful and that alone can gain me any vain man who wants a trophy,_ she'd thought to herself angrily when she was tired of crying. However, she'd pushed away the anger and allowed self-pity and pain take over.

"Yes you can Jadis, but you won't! Why won't you hate me? I despise you," Severus lied in a harsh tone as he shook her and forced her to look up at him. She stared at him in pain, telling him that she bought the lie that he hated her. He didn't hate her, he hated what he felt for her. He wanted it to go away, because he couldn't be with her. Because he had ripped her away from him so that she could be happy. Truly happy, because he couldn't love her the way that he'd loved Lily. He loved her and couldn't allow himself to use her as someone to simply forget someone else with. She deserved _true love_ and she shouldn't have had to conform to just any kind of love and he wouldn't make her.

"I'm scared," Jadis admitted, feeling ashamed of such a weakness. Severus was honestly confused by this statement. "I'm scared that I won't come back from it. I don't want that to happen, because you loved me and you're the only person who ever has or ever will," Jadis said. She wanted to crumble to the floor and die. She didn't understand why she was telling him all these things, why she was showing him even more of her weaknesses.

"Get over it Jadis," Severus said harshly, causing Jadis to look up at him.

"That's easy for you to say cause you hate me and hate is much easier to feel than love," she said angrily as she glared at him. "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" Jadis said angrily as she shoved him off of her and pulled out of his grasp before turning around and sprinting down the hallway. Her bleary sight made it hard to run and see very well where she was going, but she didn't care, she wanted to get far away from him.

She sprinted down the halls, her heart rate accelerating and her breathing getting harder. She tried to run down the stairs, but found herself rolling down them instead when her foot got caught on a step. However, the pain that she felt with every bump and blow she felt as her body bounced on the stairs was relieving and when she landed on the ground, she didn't lay there. She got her weary body off the floor and sprinted out of Hogwarts.

It was silly, to run around the grounds, however, the cool air of late September dried her eyes and made breathing the air as she ran much sharper pain in her lungs. Before long, they were burning as the sun climbed steadily higher in the sky and she had to double over in the pain. Jadis collapsed onto the ground and stared up at the sky, breathing hard and trying to calm her heart.

_I should be out of shape enough to have a massive coronary right about now,_ she thought to herself as she lay in the land between the lake and the Forbidden Forest. She'd run quite far around the lake so that she was quite far away from the castle and it was guaranteed that no one would follow her out there.

Allowing exhaustion to settle down over her, Jadis closed her eyes and continued to try and steady her breathing. It didn't take long before she found that sleep was shrouding her.

---

Jadis wandered back into the dorm at about ten and to her displeasure she found Matt, Pam and Velma sitting down on the couches near the fireplace, staring at each other, there was another Slytherin there she could hardly remember. The other boys name was Vince, some freak who was in love with centaurs and wanted to own one, something Jadis clearly thought was idiotic. _They're partially human you dolt!_ It was something she'd wanted to tell him on several occasions, but restrained herself as he was very important ministry workers kid.

She should have noticed that something was very wrong when she noticed that Matt and Pam were very pale and that there as a piece of Parchment on the table between them with their names on it, however she didn't notice any of this. She hardly even looked at them when she walked into the common room.

She was too exhausted as she walked by. She'd spent most of her day by the lake. When she awoke she decided to go for a swim. She swam for hours until her body felt completely numb from the freezing water and the squid expelled her form the lake as if it thought she was in danger of drowning. After which she lay on the grass, staring at the sky, dripping wet but not feeling the cold breeze as it blew through her wet clothes and chilled her down to her bones.

All day, she hadn't eaten anything. Therefore she'd reached the castle, snuck into the kitchens to eat something and than had snuck to Slytherin. It was after all past curfew and if she were caught in the halls she would be in very big trouble. Over all, she'd completely forgotten it was her birthday. _Damn Snape, _she thought as she walked past her friends after greeting them for a brief moment.

"Jadis, come here and join us, we need at least five players to play," Jadis stopped and turned around to look over at Velma. _Why the hell is she bothering me?_

"Sorry Velma, but I don't really feel like playing," Jadis said as she turned around. One look into the fiery look at Velma shot at her caused her to sit down without even asking a question, Velma was slightly drunk and in this state she wasn't one to be questioned. Jadis eyes widened in horror as she spotted the piece of parchment on the table with the names of Pam, Matt, Vince and Velma on it with the words Magical Truth or Dare written over the short list.

_Oh no,_ Jadis thought to herself as he brain ran through the rules. Magical Truth or Dare forced the participants to write down their names on a piece of parchment and forced them to play. If someone picked truth, they would have to tell the truth to any question that they were asked and even if it was something you didn't want to answer to, you had to. It was like you were slipped Virataserum and all because you signed your name on the parchment. Dare was just as bad. Whatever you were dared to do, you _had_ to do it. If you didn't, your name would glow red and you would get punished.

There were only a few rules to the game, one was that during the dare there were things that were impossible and not to be asked. There was no daring a person to die and become a ghost, which was probably the only thing that had been decided that was impossible. Therefore, other than that, anything was fair game. Magical truth or dare, was really only meant to be played with the people you most trusted and could share anything with, in short real friends. It was why most Slytherins did not play this game unless your goal was to torture.

"Write your name," Velma ordered. Jadis looked over at her friends, who tried to smile at her, however, she could see that they were as apprehensive about this as she was. Jadis sighed unhappily as she took the quill in her hand and shakily wrote down her name, hoping that she was lucky enough to get a truth. That was another rule, while you had the right to chose between truth or dare, at least one person every round had to pick a dare and each person a round had to have a turn, or else it was unfair. Meaning that Velma had to get a turn, eventually.

Velma smiled once Jadis had written down her name. Soon, everyone turned to Pam. The first person all the way to the right asked a question first, whoever she chose would pick the next person. In every round, one person couldn't be picked twice. These were the rules to keep some fairness in the game, so that everyone would get a turn and no one would be left out.

"Matt, truth or dare?" Pam said tentatively.

"Dare," he replied as he looked at her. Pam thought for a moment.

"I dare you to… ask me to marry you," Pam said. Matt looked taken aback by this, but smiled broadly. He then ran out of the room and up to his dorm before kneeling down before Pam. Jadis watched in confusion, why would Pam ask such a thing?

"Will you marry me?" Matt asked as he looked at her. Pam nodded as Matt placed the ring on her finger. Jadis stared at them for a moment, wondering if the world had gone insane. Velma sighed in exasperation at this, clearly not entertained. "Truth or Dare Pam?"

"Truth," she replied as she looked at him. Jadis groaned at Matt's stupidity, he had just cancelled them out, meaning she would be next to ask the question as she was on their right and the game was played to the right.

"Did you know that I was going to ask you to marry me beforehand?" he asked as he looked up at her. She nodded as she smiled down at him.

"You were taking too long," she said as she leaned down and kissed him.

"It's your turn Jadis and don't do something sappy like them," Velma said irritated. Jadis turned to Vince.

"Truth or Dare," she asked as she looked over at him.

"Truth," he replied.

"Are you secretly attracted to centaurs?" Jadis asked with a smile. The boy turned beat red and nodded against his will. Jadis was surprised by this, she'd only meant it as a joke. The boy turned away from her and asked Velma truth or dare. When she picked Truth he asked her if she was really a half-blood. Velma merely nodded at this, glaring at the boy. Velma then turned to Jadis and asked her truth or dare as there was no other choice. Obviously with Velma, she thought that the lesser of the two evils to ask for was truth.

"Are you a virgin?" Velma asked. Jadis felt all the color drain from her face as she gritted her teeth and looked around. Everyone was watching her.

"No," she replied simply.

"What? With who? When? Where?" was the stream of questions that followed, but she no longer had to answer them, she merely motioned for them to go on with the game, hoping that no one would ask her with who as a Truth later on. Although there was a way around answering things truthfully because so long as your answer was technically true, it would hold up in the game.

It was Pam's turn again and once more she asked Matt, who picked truth this time. Pam asked him why he hadn't asked her to marry him earlier, and he responded that he didn't know how to ask her. Matt this time asked the Vince kid, who chose another truth and was asked if he would ever consider having intercourse with a centaur and he responded by turning red and nodding once. But he was angry and he asked Pam, who always chose truth if she could, like any other sane Slytherin, if she and Matt had ever had intercourse, to which she blushingly nodded to.

Jadis sighed as she turned to Velma. She was the only person that she could truth or dare in this round. Obviously Velma chose truth and Jadis asked her why she didn't have any boyfriends. She hadn't thought that the question would offend her, however, apparently it had as she grudgingly admitted that she wasn't attracted to boys. Everyone stared at her in shock, as they figured that this could only mean that she was attracted to women.

"It's your turn Jadis and you have to take a dare because everyone else took truth," Velma said a little angrily. Jadis gulped at this and she felt her eyes widen in horror. She had just made Velma come out of the closet and by the sadistic and angry look in Velma's eyes, she was about to pay dearly for it. "I dare you to… French kiss Professor Lupin."

"Velma, he's a teacher!" Jadis said in horror. _You shagged Snape,_ Jadis mind reminded her. She mentally waved this thought away and shook this off. She had been in love with Snape at the time. Kissing an unsuspecting victim was wrong and she could get him fired, something she really didn't want to do was he was quickly becoming her favorite Professor.

Velma leaned forward and tapped her wand on the parchment. "Your punishment if you don't complete it is the Cruciatus curse for three minutes," Velma said, causing the parchment to light up with her words. Jadis looked down at the parchment, which would send her into cruciatus if she didn't do it. "I'll be merciful and give you an hour."

"Fine," Jadis said as she stood up and tapped her wand on the parchment. "Confidentiality charm. This dare goes beyond no one that is here and is not to be spoken of," Jadis said, causing one of Velma's eyes to twitch. She didn't like the binding spell that she had just placed on the game, but couldn't say anything as it was perfectly permissible by the game. It was a brake clause in the game. Those who had a dare forced upon them could set a condition so long as it didn't directly interfere with their dare.

"Get going. You only have an hour and first you have to find him while keeping from getting caught in the halls," Velma said lowly. Jadis nodded as she turned around and walked out of Slytherin. No one needed to accompany her because the moment that she completed the dare her name would glow green.

---

"CRAP!" Jadis muttered. She'd wasted forty-five minutes wandering around the castle and yet she was unable to find the Professor. Jadis groaned, she only had fifteen minutes before being horribly tortured for three minutes, meaning she could possibly lose her mind. Feeling sweat appearing on her forehead, she racked her brains for something and anything that would help her find him.

Her eyes widened after a moments thought. "_Invenio _Lupin," she muttered as out of her wand shot a fairy shaped light of white. Jadis followed along behind the fairy, which led her down the hallways and towards a door that she had never before seen. Jadis furrowed her brow at the light faded into a doorway. Jadis stopped and guessed that this might be Lupin's private quarters.

Jadis stared at the door and looked at her watch; she had less than ten minutes left. Her stomach was churning as she stood there and knocked hard. She'd never been under the Cruciatus curse before and she didn't want to now. She knew that many people lost their minds if they were under it for long enough and while she had taken all kinds of pain before and had built up high tolerance for it, she wasn't sure how bad crucio was and if she would be able to take three minutes of it without cracking.

It wasn't long before Lupin opened the door, looking slightly alarmed to be disturbed at nearly eleven at night. His furrowed brow lightened somewhat as he looked down at her. "Hello Professor Lupin, I'm in trouble and I'm going to be put under a lot of pain if I don't do something in the next five minutes so please cooperate a little. I'm really sorry about this, I hope you don't hate me for it," Jadis said very fast before wrapping her arms around Lupin and pressing her lips against his and sliding her tongue into his mouth when he gasped in shock.

She was vaguely aware of the way that his body froze beneath her arms and tensed up and realized that he was probably too shocked to push her away. She was also aware that he was staring at her, but she'd closed her eyes so that she wouldn't have to see his eyes staring at her in shock. She moved her lips against his, while running her tongue over his. _He has very nice lips, their so soft, _Jadis thought for a moment.

After a long moment, Remus seemed to gather his senses and push the child that was clinging onto him away, disentangling her arms from around him. "What are you doing Jadis?" Remus asked as he looked down at her. She was blushing profusely and couldn't look up at him.

"I'm sorry Professor Lupin, it was a stupid Dare, and if I didn't complete it I had a harsh punishment in store," she said as she looked down at her feet. She had noticed how flustered Lupin had become. "I'm sorry Professor Lupin, you must hate me."

"No… but that was very inappropriate," Lupin said mildly, seemingly composing himself. He remembered Magical Truth or Dare quite well and guessed that he really couldn't blame her for it. How many stupid things had he allowed James and Sirius to dare him into? Jadis looked up and tried to smile at him, but failed horribly.

"This was so not the way I wanted to spend my birthday," Jadis muttered as she looked down at her feet and scratched her neck.

"It's your birthday?" Remus asked curiously. Jadis looked up at him and nodded. "Did you turn Seventeen?" Remus asked with a smile. Jadis shook her head.

"Eighteen. Professor McGonagall has a strict rule that it you are not eleven by September first you are not allowed to come to Hogwarts. I had to wait a full year before I received my Hogwarts letter," Jadis said, trying to push aside her embarrassment about the previous moment. "Umm I should go back to Slytherin now," she said, when she felt too embarrassed to continue to stand there. Remus merely nodded at this, feeling equally embarrassed.

"Happy Birthday Jadis," Lupin said a bit strained as he watched her leave. Jadis merely nodded and waved as she walked away. She had no intention at all in returning to Slytherin right now. Perhaps she would go up to the room of requirement. She'd stumbled across it when she was a fifth year to hide a cigarette bundle because Filch was chasing her. She definitely required it right now.

**TBC…**

**A/N: Sorry took a while to update. I hope that you liked it and please REVIEW! And special thanks to Ezme and Katja for reviewing! **


	11. Unforgivable

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 11: Unforgivable**_

"Back off Matt I'm never going to tell you or anyone else who my first was," Jadis finally cried out angrily when her patience wore thin, a couple of people turned to look at her in the hallway, but she paid them no mind as they continued to make their way to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Matt had been badgering her now about it for quite sometime. Jadis sighed and thought she was lucky that she'd placed the Confidentiality Charm on the dare that had to do with Lupin. At least this way they couldn't even ask her the details about _what_ happened, all they knew was that it _had_.

"Come on, if you tell me, I will tell you something that we got out of Velma that concerns you," Matt suddenly said. Jadis cast a side-long glance towards Matt before looking over at Pam who was on his other side, who'd suddenly decided that the floor was so interesting. Pam and she had already talked Monday morning in the girl's dorm about what happened after Jadis had left. The game hadn't been able to continue much longer as she never came back for another turn. So, nothing much happened, other then another revelation about Velma's sexual orientation. Guessing by how Pam looked like she'd done something wrong, Jadis guessed that she already knew Velma's disturbing secret and it was quite disturbing, at least to her.

"I already know," Jadis said darkly as they continued their walk. _Out of all the people that Velma could want to fuck, and it had to be me?!_ She didn't pay much mind as Matt stopped walking and turned to look at Pam and complained to her about telling Jadis that bit of truth which he was planning to hold over her. She wanted to make it on time to Defense Against the Dark Arts so that no attention would be called to her by entering late.

Since she'd kissed Lupin, she hadn't actually seen him around and she was unsure as to whether or not they were okay. She knew that Professor Lupin was nothing like Snape, and he clearly he didn't hate her for it, but she didn't know if he would be able to pretend like it never happened. She hoped that he would be, after all he really had become her favorite Professor. He actually made their class interesting and incorporated practical lessons as often as possible, something none of his predecessors had ever done.

However, she guessed it wasn't only him that she was worried about. She wasn't yet sure that she could pretend like they hadn't kissed, when it seemed that ever since the kiss it was all that she was dreaming about. Not that she wasn't grateful of having a distraction from the constant dreams of Snape, but it unsettled her a little as she didn't know what that meant. _What happens if I fall for Professor Lupin? Could I love him…_ Jadis shook her head of these thoughts, telling herself that she couldn't.

_It's only sexual tension. This isn't like what happened with Snape, I was in love with Snape before anything ever happened,_ the voice of her mind told her. She nodded her head as she continued to walk, her thoughts changing to what she'd initially felt for Snape. Their first kiss was after she'd already been branded by his love. But Jadis shook her head once more of these thoughts. They did her no good either. It didn't matter anymore. She'd been in love with Snape when something happened between them. _What happened between Professor Lupin and I was not something neither of us wanted, and now what I feel is just sexual tension and nothing more. _

Jadis nodded her head once more and then suddenly thought that she should stop that before someone thought that she was crazy. "Well… shall we be expecting Lupin to fawn over you today or are you total crap when it comes to kissing?" Matt said brightly, dropping the subject of whom Jadis had lost her virginity to at the moment as the trio walked into the Defense Against the Dark Arts. To no surprise the Head Boy and Head Girl were already seated in the classroom, neither person which Jadis had ever paid much mind to, they were awfully boring and both had rulers or something just as rigid shoved up their…

"I wouldn't tease so openly if I were you Matt. Professor Lupin might just think it was _you_ that dared me and might seek to expel you. And he wasn't playing so he's not under the confidentiality charm," Jadis said pointedly as the three of them took their seats. She hoped that Velma would cut class today so that it would only bee the three of them. While she had nothing against Lesbians, she didn't particular want that kind of attention from Velma, even had she been born a man.

"But if he brings it up to Dumbledore none of us could say that it was true," he pointed out to Jadis.

"But I can tell him I did the Confidentiality Charm and he would understand. And don't think for one moment I won't rat anyone of you out. Lord only knows how much I want Velma out of Hogwarts and I suppose seeing the rest of you in detention will be quite amusing to me," Jadis retorted as she plopped down at her seat. Matt, nodded at this. He supposed that Jadis was right after all, he would be very happy if Velma was out of Hogwarts.

"But what makes you think that you would get away with it?" Matt pointed out.

"I was the victim," Jadis smiled as she looked over at him.

"Victim? What did Lupin rape you afterwards? Is that why you didn't come back?" Matt asked, leeringly.

"Don't joke like that, it's quite bad taste. _Professor_ Lupin would never do such a thing," Jadis said. Before Matt could say something witty in turn, Professor Lupin walked into the classroom quite cheerfully, only breaking his stride momentarily when he caught sight of the three Slytherins staring over at him. However, if you weren't looking directly at him, you probably wouldn't have noticed the slight hesitation as he continued to walk. "Good Morning Professor Lupin," the three Slytherin's said, all trying to smile at him innocently as though they weren't just talking about him.

Remus eyed the three warily for a moment, despite the fact that he was smiling down at them. "Good morning Matt, Jadis, Pam," he said mildly as he looked at them, but continued to walk to the front of the class. He supposed that if he stopped before them that this would only become more awkward and that it would just be easier to pretend that it never happened form afar. He was quite sure that Matt and Pam knew what had happened between them. However, he didn't know how much they knew, if they would keep it to themselves or who else knew about it. It was something that made him feel quite unsettled and he guessed that he should probably question Jadis about it later.

---

"That was an interesting lesson," Pam said when they exited the classroom and headed down towards lunch together. Jadis merely nodded in response to this. The truth was that she only paid the bare minimum of attention to today's lesson. She supposed that considering that he was teaching them about the three Unforgivable curses that she should have paid attention, but what was the point? Recognizing the killing curse before it hit you didn't do any good and there was no way to block it. Neither could you really block the Cruciatus, though she'd paid some attention to that.

Apparently, the torture only stopped when the person stopped it and many witches and wizards had lost their minds after being placed beneath the curse for long enough. It wasn't like one could throw off the curse, which was the only way to combat the third of the Unforgivable curses, the Imperious Curse. She'd already heard of all three, however, Lupin was planning to test them on the third for the next lesson. Something that they couldn't exactly prepare for, Lupin pointed out that all one really needed was strong will.

Jadis cast a glance over at Pam and wondered if Pam would be able to throw off the curse all. However, Jadis tried not to be smug as she thought of herself, wondering if she would be able to throw off the curse at all. "What do you suppose he'll make us do?" Matt asked, as Professor Lupin was going to test each and every student, one by one. Jadis stared down at the floor as they entered the Great Hall and took their usual seats. She hadn't paid much mind to what Professor Lupin was planning to do to them.

"I doubt anything too horrible, though perhaps something slightly embarrassing," Jadis replied, as she noted the glint of mischief in his eyes once or twice before. It seemed to take him look a lot younger when you looked into his eyes and saw that strange sparkle. It made her wonder what Lupin was like when he was at Hogwarts. She guessed that she would've asked Snape if they were together, but they weren't and she didn't exactly plan on going up to her ex, who apparently detested her. It simply wouldn't be a good idea.

Jadis shook her head of the thought as she rubbed at her eyes, feeling tears welling up in them. However, she shook her head of this as she started to put things on her plate to eat. She wasn't paying much attention as she did this and looked towards the high table where everyone, except Snape, seemed to be present. Jadis turned away immediately after and frowned as she looked down at her plate, wondering why she was still compelled to look at him and make sure he was there. What was wrong with her? Hadn't she told him to leave her alone?

However, before she could wonder too long about it she felt something jump onto her lap and she stared down at Neji's yellow eyes. "Hey there, what are you doing here," she asked as she looked into his face and smiled down at him. The cat turned around on her lap and held out his tail to her. Jadis frowned as she looked down at the tail of her cat and noticed that when she reached out for it Neji hissed, it was like that one time her father had accidentally stepped on Neji's tail. "Who stepped on you?"

Neji hopped off her and started to walk away. "I'll be right back," Jadis said as she stood up and followed Neji out of the Great Hall, not noticing that Pam and Matt were looking at her as if she were a freak. While it wasn't unknown for people to speak to their pets and think them intelligent, Matt and Pam both thought that Jadis took it a little too far. However, neither one of them understood just how much Neji meant to her. Besides, didn't they know what a Witches familiar was? She supposed not. Not that very many witches and wizards had familiars like they did in the old days, though Jadis had a few suspicions about Dumbledore's phoenix.

She wasn't sure if Neji was really her familiar yet, but she supposed that he was. Or she at least thought that their bond was much stronger than just a normal, owner and pet bond. Jadis stared after the black cat that she was following, who had grown considerably since she'd first gotten him before her fourth year. Back then, he was so tiny and she had to take very careful care of him, staying up all hours of the night to constantly bottle feed him milk because he was still quite young and hadn't been fed properly.

"_What's wrong with that one?" Jadis asked as she pointed her bandaged left arm to a kitten that was far thinner than its brothers and sisters were. She kneeled down before the cardboard box and gently picked up the kitten, which fit perfectly in the palm of her hand and merely lay there, its eyes closed as though it were already dead. Jadis felt her heart swelling with pity for the small creature and she gently stroked it with her index finger. _

_The muggle kid, who was about ten years old, with blue eyes, who was selling the kittens turned and stared at Jadis warily. He'd seen the girl around the block many times before and knew she'd been kicked out of their local church. He recognized her only because of the streak of red hair on the right side of her face. Everyone in the church called her Devil Child, even some of the adults. _

_He cleared his throat as he stared at her, taking in the sight of the black bandages around her left arm, the black nail polish, the heavy gold ring on her right middle finger, the torn blue jeans and dirty black t-shirt. She was intimidating and a few years older than he was. "We're not really selling that one, it's probably going to die anyway. His smell got tainted when he was born and the mum rejected him. It's been hard to try and feed him," the kid said as he stared at her. _

_Jadis felt tears welling up in her eyes as she stared at the small kitten in her palm. Steadily, she rose from her knees. "I don't have money, but you can pawn this for some," she said as she took off the heavy gold ring on her finger and tossed it down at him. The kid caught the ring and stared at her in surprise, wondering why she wanted to give him a gold ring for a cat that was going to die and had no chance at living. Jadis merely turned around and started to walk down the block to her house. _

"_Neji, wake up," Jadis whispered softly as she raised the kitten up to her face. She smiled as she watched him slowly opening his eyes and it stared at her with its yellow eyes. She didn't know where the name had come from, but it sounded right. "Hey there, you got to help me get you all better, because I really need you," Jadis smiled, while whispering lightly. The kitten lifted its head lightly and almost seemed to nod before dropping off once more to sleep. _

Jadis started cutting the summer just before her first year, by the time that she was in her fourth year; it had gotten so bad that she was sure that she cut at least once every single day and a few days prior to finding Neji, Jadis felt that she couldn't take it anymore. She'd cut deeper than ever before and she'd nearly died from it. She could've died, but she didn't know why she hadn't. When she'd walked by the kid who was selling kittens, she'd just come to, waking up several blocks away, having been knocked out from the amount of blood that had escaped.

Neji had given her a purpose after that. All she cared about was Neji and bringing him to full health. She labored and toiled over him, taking the best care of him that she could, reading up and on everything that would help him get better, making all the right potions to restore his health. She watched as he very slowly gained weight and became stronger and stronger, completely forgetting how her parents didn't give a rat's ass about her and how they were never around. They hadn't even known that she'd been missing for about three days. But she didn't care, because Neji was all she cared about now.

Slowly, Jadis followed along behind Neji, whom was walking with its tail very stiffly in the air, and she frowned in pity as she balled her hands into fist. Poor Neji would not be able to use his tail properly for a couple of days now. She shook her head as she made her way through the hallways, following behind Neji. She felt something get caught in her throat as she soon found herself walking along a few paces behind Neji as he headed towards the Dungeons and led her straight to the Potions room.

Jadis sighed as she stepped into the classroom and looked over at Snape. He paused in his pacing, which was surprising for as long as she knew him, he wasn't one to pace. Usually that was a sign of nervousness, anxiety or preoccupation, none of which Snape knew how to feel. "Did you step on Neji?" Jadis asked as Snape looked over at her, his face turning neutral though all color had faded from his it as he looked at her angry face.

"I might've… accidentally," Severus said coolly, though he really didn't want to see Jadis angry. Sure he had once been a Death Eater, but he knew Jadis better than she knew herself and knew that if she was angry, she was murderous, because he knew there was a darkness inside of her that she tried to hide from everyone. However, Neji was sacred to her and you did not mess with him unless you wanted an early funeral.

Jadis felt her fist begin to shake at her sides as she turned around and slammed the door closed before placing _muffliato_ on the room. "What do you mean, accidentally, weren't you watching ere you were going?" Jadis bellowed as she walked over to him. At the moment she really couldn't give a damn about the fact that she was heart-broken because of the man that was standing before him or the consequences her actions would cause. All she cared about, was that Neji had been harmed and it was all because of a careless person had not bothered to look at where they were going.

"I didn't see him cross my path," Severus replied as he backed away from the approaching Jadis.

"Then watch the floor next time," Jadis said as she socked him in the stomach very hard, knocking out all the wind in him. Severus doubled over in pain and found himself staring down at the ground as he struggled to catch his breath. He was vaguely aware of the sound of Jadis walking out of the classroom, however, he was too preoccupied with the floor to see.

---

Jadis suddenly came to a stop as she made her way towards her History of Magic class and found Professor Lupin standing outside, seemingly just hanging out. Jadis eyed him strangely for a moment before she continued to make her way towards her class. She'd spent her whole break up in Slytherin, doing any homework that she had. Sinistra had assigned a particularly difficult chart to make using not paper, but magic. It would take her days to do, which was why she was grateful that it wasn't due until the following Tuesday.

"Hello Professor Lupin," Jadis said as she neared him. "What are you doing here?" She asked as he turned his eyes to look at her. Remus smiled at her for a moment and motioned her to follow him. However, she eyed him warily and looked towards her class. _What does he want from me? Is he going to make me late to Professor Binns' Class?_

"Oh, I won't take long Jadis, I just want to ask you a few questions," Remus smiled at her. Jadis merely nodded and walked along beside her as he led her a little away from her classroom. "Jadis, I just wanted to ask you how many people you were playing with. I'm not trying to get any of you in trouble, I'd just like to know who knows and if I have to worry about…"

"OH, that's okay Professor Lupin, you have nothing to worry about. I didn't have a choice, I had to take a dare and as it was an involuntary dare I could place a condition so I placed a Confidentiality charm on the dare. We can't even speak of it to each other," Jadis smiled as she looked up at him. Remus felt relief flooding into him as he looked down at her and smiled at the fact that she was brilliant enough to do so. However, he wondered why she had thought, off all the conditions to place on the dare, she chose that one.

"May I ask why?" Remus asked as he stared down at her, he guessed that because of this Jadis hadn't been able to tell them the details of the kiss either, which meant only he and she really knew what had happened and only he could speak of it. Jadis stared up at him blankly for a moment, wondering what he wanted to know. She merely nodded at this and guessed that he was asking her why she had placed that charm on the dare.

"Well you're the best Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor we've ever had, why should that be ruined for the whole school just because one person thought it would be an entertaining dare to have him taken an advantage of?" Jadis asked with a shrug as she looked at him. Remus had to chuckle lightly at the way that she put it; him, a werewolf, taken advantage of by a thin, teenage girl? Though, he felt something inside him swell with pride and warm up towards Jadis. And here he thought that almost all of the Slytherins disapproved of him. "Oh and in answer to your other question, we only played with the bare minimum, five including me."

Remus nodded at this and stared at her for a moment, thinking about this. He knew that three of the players at least, Jadis, Matt and Pam. However, he guessed that Velma was one of the other players, but he couldn't even being to guess the other as they were the only Slytherin seventh years that he had. However, he supposed that he didn't have anything too much to worry about, considering the fact that they couldn't talk about it. However, he would feel strange beneath their gazes.

"Well thank you Jadis, you should probably head to class now, I think I've kept you long enough," he said as he stared down at her. Jadis smiled up at him and nodded before turning around and walking away.

"See you around Professor," Jadis called out as she hurried off to class. Remus merely smiled at her and hoped that things would remain so simple. However, her kiss had shaken him a bit and made him realize just how much he missed human contact in the past several years. He hoped that was all her kiss did to him.

**TBC…**

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!****  
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	12. Mind Control

**Authors Note:**God I know that it has been an eternity since I have updated this story. I've had this chapter for quite sometime, but I never finished it so I hadn't posted it. However, I do very much like this story and I would really like to get back to it, but I am afraid my writing style won't be the same and I might ruin it. But I suppose I should make the attempt anyway. I just hope that you will all continue to like it.

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 12: Mind Control**_

Wednesday and Thursday, as was usual passed by without event. Once more before Potions, Jadis sneaked out of the lake to smoke the second half of her Mellow Stick. Potions luckily passed without too much incident. Except for at the end of class where Jadis and Matt had to help Pam to the Hospital wing because some Hufflepuff had exploded his cauldron next to hers. It was the reason that now she and Matt were making their way from the Hospital Wing to Lupin's class on the first floor.

"So Lupin's testing our will against the imperious curse today, how do you think you'll do?" Matt asked as he casually flicked his wand at a hurrying Hufflepuff first year, causing his bag to split open. Jadis smiled at this, reminded of their years before he'd started to date Pam, when they were probably the Slytherin terrors. Not that Jadis minded that Pam was kind of a good influence on Matt, but from time to time she missed the kind of havoc he could reek.

"I'll probably suck," Jadis replied as she flicked her wand for a Gryffindor third year that was walking by causing her to slip and fall down. She was walking with one of her friends who shouted out _'Hey' _quite angrily. However, with a wave of his wand, Matt caused her to shut up as tape was magically strapped over her mouth. "Thanks Matt. Honestly, kids now-a-days can be so rude," Jadis said as she and Matt broke into light laughter as they descended the stairs. _God if only all Fridays could be like today, except for Pam getting hurt that is. _

It didn't take too long for Jadis and Matt to get into Defense Against the Dark Arts, where most of their classmates were already sitting. "How's Velma treating you?" Matt asked as they walked over to their seats, sneering while his voice dripped with its usual gleeful, mocking tone. Jadis made a point to ignore her friend as she took a seat. Velma didn't look over at her. Ever since Velma let out her secret, she was being strange around Jadis. Almost like she was avoiding her.

_Well thats good too,_ Jadis thought as the bell rang and Lupin started to talk to them, reviewing the Imperious Curse, an what they would be doing. _At least now she's having me alone. Though, who knows how long that will last, _Jadis thought. "Now will everyone please stand and form a line?" Lupin finished up. Jadis, along with the rest of her apprehensive classmates stood up to stand in line.

"Of course Gryffindors are first in line. What idiots," Matt said. Jadis merely nodded in response. _Wouldn't they be better off standing back and watching then just jumping in? I bet that's why they die or get injured. Trying to be brave, brash fools, _Jadis thought. She was sure that every Slytherin, which only was herself, Matt and Velma were thinking the same thing. The Ravenclaws too had to be thinking something along the same lines, though probably not quite as insultingly.

Jadis turned around and realized that there were only a few nervous Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws behind them. Jadis turned back and watched the first student. Most Slytherins usually stood at the end of lines, but that was usually lack of enthusiasm in classes. But Jadis had no desire to be last. Being last meant everyone would look at you and judge you. She was already judged and hated by almost all gathered there, she didn't think it really mattered where she stood. But at least this way she knew what kind of stuff Professor Lupin was making them do under the Imperious.

The first couple got simple commands like jump. The first couple Gryffindors failed miserably in the first couple attempts. Lupin tried the Imperious three times on each person. By the time the first of the Ravenclaws, Jay was able to kind of disobey on the third try. He kind of half-jumped, half-stopped himself and ended sprawled on his back, to which he was greeted with applause and a small praise from Professor Lupin. _Git,_ Jadis thought. She wasn't too inclined to think too kindly of him, especially not since she'd seen him flirting with some house mate of his that wasn't even taking Defense during Herbology.

"He is punishing students who don't work or are often late," Matt suddenly said. Jadis watched as the Ravenclaw girl that was up was dancing rather embarrassingly. She wasn't the only one he'd made do something somewhat embarrassing to. Matt was right, Lupin was purposefully, mildly embarrassing bad students in his class. Jadis felt something somewhat tighten in her stomach. _Am I a bad student?_ She asked herself as she went over the past couple of weeks in her head. While she had been late a couple of times and perhaps had been slightly... inattentive, she was still doing well in his class, especially the practical part. _Does that make me a good student?_

"Think he'll punish us?" Jadis asked as the Ravenclaw stopped dancing and seemed to come to her senses. She suddenly turned a bright shade of red before heading to the back of the class. Jadis raised a brow and watched as Velma walked up and gulped the knot in her throat. Matt followed Velma and after him would be her turn. She wondered for a moment if it was just her, or if class was really passing by faster than usual. However, she didn't mull on this long as she watched Velma.

By all outward appearances, Velma was a good student. She did it all her homework and was good in the practical sense. She was always on time to class, she didn't cut and she appeared to pay attention to lessons. In other words, she was a perfect Slytherin, because it was all more for show than anything else. It was the reason why Jadis was surprised that Lupin wanted to punish her as well, for Velma merely walked up to Jadis.

"I would declare to you my passionate love, but I don't feel love and you are close at it gets," Velma said to Jadis, causing everyone to gasp and Matt to burst into laughter. Jadis turned a deep red color that matched her hair as she looked at Velma in horror; she then turned her gaze over to the shocked amber eyes of Professor Lupin, not at all paying attention to Velma who managed to throw off the curse and was now blushing furiously.

Velma suddenly stepped very close to Jadis, causing Jadis to turn her attention to the very angry Velma. She had her eyes narrowed on Jadis and was glaring at her with deep loathing, her teeth clenched together. "I am going to make you pay for this," Velma murmured softly and menacingly before turning away, her hair whipping Jadis in the face and causing her to flinch. Jadis furrowed her brow as she watched Velma walk out of the classroom. _Great, like I needed anyone else to make my life difficult,_ Jadis thought as she turned to look at Matt, who by now had stopped laughing.

With Velma gone and out of her face, Jadis suddenly realized the dead silence that consumed the class. She looked around and was suddenly aware that everyone was looking at her. Jadis felt her cheeks flush once more to have everyones' eyes staring at her. The only person that was not staring at her in shock was Matt, who was looking at her like he felt sorry for her. _Oh Merlin, now they all think that I'm a __lesbian and have been having an affair with Velma, _she realized as she looked into the eyes of Jay Booth and could see it all over his gaze.

"Uhh... class dismissed. We will finish up the rest of you next time," Lupin said after clearing his throat and breaking the silence. Immediately afterward everyone broke up and started to go and get their things, staring at her while beginning to whisper to each other less-than-kind speculations. Jadis groaned as Matt came up to her and patted her on the shoulder. _Merlin, like I really need a rumors like that going around about me. People don't talk to me as it is, _Jadis thought to herself miserably.

"Don't worry about it Jadis, maybe they'll think it was an elaborate joke from Lupin," Matt said as he patted her on the back. Jadis grimaced as she watched the people passing her and gather their things. It was clear that this was not going to be thought of as a joke and as she watched the first of her classmates reach the classroom door, she suddenly realized it wouldn't be long before every seventh year knew. Suddenly she felt very sick as she thought about every person in the school thinking and judging her. Never before had he heard of anyone at Hogwarts being gay and therefore, she had no idea how people at Hogwarts felt about the issue.

Sluggishly, Jadis walked over to gather her things and tried to shake off the feeling of dread. She didn't think there was anything wrong with people who sexually preferred members of their own gender. She really didn't care that Velma was lesbian. Her problem with Velma was that she was a horrible human being. However, what she thought didn't matter, it was what everyone else thought that did. And her only hope was that people would be too hung up on pureblood, mudblood thing to care.

"Jadis, would you mind staying a moment?" Jadis had just slung her bag on her shoulder when she heard Lupin call out to her. Jadis slowly turned to look at Lupin. As she looked at him, she wondered why he had done that to Velma, if Velma by all outward appearances was a good student. She didn't understand his motive for wanting to embarrass her, though she wondered for a moment if it might be just because he didn't like Velma. Or perhaps he was trying to get back at her about the dare. _Don't be stupid, he can't possibly know she dared me, _Jadis thought as she nodded in response to Lupin's request.

"I'll see you later Jadis, I'm going go see Pam," Matt said as he patted her one the shoulder and took off. She half-expected for him to grin at her or give her suggestive looks about Lupin as he was prone to do ever since the night of the dare. However, he merely gave her the tiniest of encouraging smiles, that brightened his blue eyes in benign friendliness, before turning and rushing out of the room, closing the door behind himself.

Turning slowly away from the recently closed door, Jadis' eyes searched out those of her Professor as she slowly walked over to him. "Yes, Professor Lupin?" Jadis said, trying to sound polite. However, as her eyes caught Lupin's amber eyes, she found a voice inside her head screaming out _WHY?_ As if she didn't have enough to deal with as it was, now everyone was going to think she was a lezzer and Velma was going to destroy her and.... suddenly Jadis' eyes widened as she realized it would only be a matter of time before Snape knew. And Lord only knew how he was going to use that to his advantage!

"I'm very sorry about that... I never would have imagined that Velma... it was only supposed to mildly embarrass her and punish her," looking up towards Lupin, she found herself mildly surprised by the way he was looking down at her. His cheeks were lightly flushed and the expression on his face was very nervous and apologetic as he lightly chewed on his bottom lip. His brow was deeply furrowed with concern over his wonderful amber gaze that was fixated and studying her features and begging for forgiveness. He looked positively sorry; years taken off from him and making him seem almost like a teenager.

As Jadis studied him, she found herself wondering what Lupin must've looked like as a teenager. She felt her cheeks growing warm as she thought about how cute he looked all nervous and realized that he had to have been quite the delicious piece of candy when he was her age. And as she looked down at the length of his body, she blushed more furiously to think he must've gotten better with age.

Pushing these thoughts away and mentally slapping herself for the moment, Jadis looked up into his sparkly amber gaze and gave him a small smile. "No that's fine Professor Lupin, lesbians profess their love to me all the time," Jadis said, shrugging nonchalantly, causing him to laugh nervously. Sighing, Jadis looked down at her feet. "I'm sure if it had been anyone else I would have found it very amusing," Jadis said, trying to force her blush away. _What the hell was I thinking? He is my teacher! And I know perfectly well where those kinds of inappropriate thoughts can lead me! No, I'm just... being stupid. Oh god, why is he staring at me like that? _"I'm sorry, what did you say Professor?"

"I asked you if you did not have class you should be getting to, for I'd hate to hold you up any longer," Lupin said kindly as he stared into her eyes. He didn't know why, but he was always amused when Jadis spaced out; with other students or people it mildly annoyed him. However, for some reason he was very curious about the thoughts that distracted Jadis. He wondered if they were as amusing and amazing as most of the things she said.

"No, actually I'm all done for the day," Jadis replied as she looked up into his eyes. For a moment, silence hung between them as they stared into each others eyes, both lost in their own thoughts. Remus could not figure out why she was so distracting to him, more so than usual. However, he assumed it was her smell. As the full moon approached, his senses were much sharper than usual, which could be slightly disorienting. Her smell at the current moment was much more alluring than on other occasions, for a reason he could not exactly pinpoint. All he knew was that it was driving him to distraction.

Jadis on the other hand was trying to push away all her inappropriate thoughts. She didn't understand why all of a sudden she was aware of how beautiful his eyes were. Or why she was just barely realizing that his hair looked amazingly soft and that the grey streaks did not take away from how handsome he was, but actually gave him a more distinguished look. For some reason, she hadn't realized it before, but he was very, very handsome, for he was quite tall, with broad shoulders. It also seemed that the more she thought about it, the more even stranger thoughts came into her head, like, _Is he single?_

"Well, I should be getting to grading first year essays," Lupin suddenly said when he realized that he'd been standing there staring at her long enough and thinking that she was probably getting freaked out by it. Instead, he was pleased to see Jadis shake her head and smile beautifully at him. It was a gesture he knew well enough to mean that she had been spacing out, _again_. Therefore he wasn't too surprised when she asked him to repeat himself. "I said I should be getting to my grading," he replied kindly, smiling at her in amusement.

"Oh," Jadis said, feeling quite stupid for saying the first thing that popped in her head. Feeling a blush creep onto her face, she found that she was terribly annoyed with how bashful she was being and wondering what was wrong with her. _He's just a teacher like any other!_ "You know Professor Lupin, you wouldn't have to grade so much if you didn't set so many essays. I for one think that it would be a great service to the school," Jadis said with a cheeky smile, as if to prove she could behave normally and that there was nothing out of the ordinary going on with her.

"I'm sure the students would all greatly appreciate that," Lupin said with an amused chuckle, which for some reason Jadis could not fathom or wanted to think about, caused her pulse to race. "But I don't think that you would benefit as much from my lessons without the set reading and written assignments," Lupin continued with a smile.

"Nonsense! You're a great teacher! We learn more than enough in class, the rest is just busy work," Jadis said with a broad smile as she looked at him. Remus once more could not help but chuckle at this and could indeed see why Jadis was in Slytherin. If that was not manipulation, he didn't know what was. However, he wondered if she always had to look so cute, or if she looked more adorable to enhance her manipulation. Not to say she wasn't an attractive girl. That was undeniable, and while he was her Professor and should not think it, to deny that she was attractive would be a lie.

"Be that as it may, I think its is imperative to reinforce the lesson. Not everyone pays attention in class all the time," Remus pointed out with a mils smile, causing her to blush. Jadis knew fully well that he thought that she herself could do with the reinforcement. Neither could she really deny it as she knew that she had spaced out more than her fair share. _Well I hope he doesn't think its anything personal. I just got a bit distracted sometimes, _Jadis thought to herself.

"So you punish yourself?" Jadis asked with a small, teasing smile. Lupin furrowed his brow and tilted his head in response. "I know you're not that fond of grading so many essays. It must get tiring. Besides there must be other things you must want to do with your time," Jadis explained with a small shrug of her thin shoulders. Lupin shrugged in response as well. He'd never really thought of it like that, and he supposed that she did have a point. Perhaps he was over working himself to get all the students to where they should be in Defense Against the Dark Arts, but it didn't matter to him. Thats what he was there for and he was enjoying it.

"I wouldn't call it punishment, Jadis," he said mildly as he looked into her eyes. For a moment, the sun slipped in through one of the windows and lit up her face causing himself to get lost in her beautiful eyes and the way her wine-red strands of hair seemed to catch fire and contrast sharply against the black mass of her entire head. His breath got caught in his throat as he tried to continue to smile at her, however, he couldn't think of how someone could look so stunning.

"Of course you wouldn't," she teased as she smiled up at him. "Well seeing as I don't have anything to do right now and seeing as it'd be best for me to avoid everyone as long as possible, would you like any help?" Jadis asked as she looked at him, catching him off guard as his brows hiked up to his hair. "I could help you with grading all the younger students' essays. I used to help Professor Snape," she said, her heart clenching at the mention of him, however, managing to control any other reaction.

"In that case I don't see why not," he said with a smile as he led her to his office. For the following several hours, they found themselves quite engrossed in their work, hardly speaking to one another as they worked. However, Remus often found his gaze wandering over to Jadis and found himself smiling every time that he looked at her. She became thoroughly engrossed in the essays that she graded and he found that the expression she bore while she graded was quite endearing.

"Is that all?" Jadis asked when she got through several stacks of essays. Remus looked around, and was amazed to see that not only had they finished with all his backed up grading, but that it was quite late. It looked like they had quite missed dinner already. He merely nodded in response as he looked at everything that they had accomplished. However, before he could say anything about it, he heard something growl and he looked over at Jadis who was blushing lightly. "Sorry, just realized I'm hungry. I guess dinner is over by now though."

Remus merely smiled in response to her as he stood up. "I'm quite famished myself, would you care to sneak down to the kitchens?" he asked as he looked at her. Jadis raised a brow at this, but she wasn't going to refuse considering the way her stomach kept growling. She merely beamed at him and nodded as together they made their way down to the kitchens and inside, where they were quickly attended by House Elves.

"So Professor Lupin, are you going to punish Matt and I?" Jadis asked once they had settled at one of the long tables and started eating. Remus looked up at Jadis with a small smile as he tilted his head, trying to give her a look of innocence that said that he didn't know what she was talking about. "Being coy isn't going to get you anywhere. Matt and I noticed that you were punishing students who came in late, or don't pay attention in class," Jadis said as she drank from her goblet before turning half her attention back to her mash potatoes.

"I see. Well then I suppose that you will just have to think about whether or not you are always a model student," Remus said with a mild smile, though there was a mischievous sparkle in his amber eyes. Jadis looked at him uncertainly, her smile turning into a crooked frown of concern that made Remus chuckle. "Don't worry Jadis, I promise to not embarrass you too horribly."

"Well I suppose after today nothings going to make me live _that _down," Jadis said with a slight grimace as she looked down at her food, causing Remus to look at her with a mildly guilty look on his face. He really wished he would have thought better of that. He really did feel terrible about the fact that it had embarrassed Jadis and that she was probably right about the idea of nasty rumors bound to start circling around her. However, he supposed that he couldn't do anything about it, and no matter how much he apologized to her, it wasn't going to make the incident go away.

"So Jadis, what are you going to do after you finish this year?" Remus asked, wanting to change the subject as he continued to eat. There was really not point in lingering on the previous subject of what happened in Defense earlier and he wanted to put it behind him, and he was sure that Jadis would rather be distracted from the subject as they days to come were probably not going to be easy on her.

Jadis took a sip of her goblet to wash down what she had just eaten as Remus looked up at her expectantly. "I am not sure," Jadis said with a shrug of her thin shoulders. "There really isn't a necessity for to pick a career considering the fact that my family is quite well off, and there isn't anything that particularly interests me," Jadis said as she looked down at her food and poked at it. "I suppose my father would like me to go into the Ministry, but I am not very interested in that. I suppose if I absolutely had to pick anything, it might have something to do with Potions."

Remus merely nodded at this. Personally he thought it would be a waste of her talents if she decided to do nothing with her life. However, it was her life and she should really do whatever pleased her. "Well, if that is what you are passionate about, I really think that you should pursue it," Remus said with a small smile. "As Professor Snape is your Head of House, I am sure that a recommendation from him would quite advance you in your career. After all, Professor Snape has always been very well renown for his talent at Potions."

Jadis felt her heart thud for a moment. _I don't want anything from him,_ she suddenly thought bitterly to herself as she stared at her food and thought about the last time that she had seen Snape. She had come to realize that despite her fear, there was a small part of her that was very angry with him. Sure he was leaving her alone now and she was grateful for it, but she still couldn't get over how cruel he had been to her and she was sure that it wasn't going to last anyway. And even if he did continue to leave her alone as she had requested, that didn't make up for the way that he had broken her heart, or toyed with her since the beginning of the school year. She had sufficient reason to hate him and there was a part of her that did, but she supposed that a greater portion of her still loved him.

Looking up and realizing that Professor Lupin had been watching her, she smiled slightly as she shook her head. "If I asked, I don't think that Professor Snape would do me such a favor," she said with a lopsided smile that looked more like a grimace. Remus furrowed his brow at this, wondering what she had been thinking about as she had previously been wearing a tragically serious expression on her face. One that seemed somewhat out of place.

"I thought Matt said that you were Professor Snape's favorite," Remus said as he wiped his mouth on a napkin and placed it on the table. He was finished eating, having already somehow wiped his plate clean. He supposed he had been rather famished. However, Jadis on the other seemed to have hardly eaten very much. It was as though her appetite had disappeared.

"Perhaps I used to be," Jadis responded, unable to look at Professor Lupin in the eyes as she poked at her food some more. She really didn't want to be talking about this. As if she didn't think about Severus enough already without people constantly bringing him up. It reminded her painfully that she was a complete and utter failure when it came to life and made her realize that there had to be something seriously wrong with her. As if it wasn't bad enough that she was a cutter, apparently she was an emotional masochist as well. After all, why else would she fall for a sadist like Snape?

Remus looked at Jadis with some concern. Once more her eyes were glazed over, as if her mind was a million miles away. However, her face was not serene and almost placid as it seemed to be most of the time. It looked almost sad and Remus wondered at it. Half of the time she was quite cheerful and easy going. But the other half it almost seemed as though she were very unhappy. Sometimes, she said things that seemed to almost support this idea.

Like the time she first tried her Patronous and she said that it might take her sometime to think of a happy memory. That could indicate there were too many to think of that she could not decide on one, and it was what he'd thought at the time. However, as he reflected on it, he wondered if perhaps there weren't very many that could spring to mind so easily. Also, the tear that he had seen that day. And what of the time she mentioned that some memories could be too crippling.

However, it didn't seem to make much sense to him that she should be unhappy when she had friends and seemed to be quite cheerful most of the time. The few lapses she had into seriousness and the odd comments that she made every so often... he supposed that they could all simply be results of mundane problems that most teenagers had. Not anything that should be terribly concerning.

He made his mind up about this, when she suddenly looked up at him and smiled resplendently. "Or perhaps I should become a Professor," she said brightly as she smiled at him. "I've already got experience grading papers and helping my fellow classmates. Besides I'm absolutely brilliant," she said with a cocky grin, causing him to chuckle lightly as he shook his head.

"That is definitely a possibility," Remus said as he looked up at her and smiled, loosing himself in her sparkling black eyes, while a part of him wondered at how charming she could be. "However, I think you would drive your male students to quite the distraction," he murmured with a chuckle, not knowing entirely where that had come from or what had possessed him to say it. He felt the terrible imprudence that was to say. However, he relaxed when he saw that Jadis was not concerned with it.

"I doubt that. Boys my age don't pay me any mind," Jadis admitted with a shrug of her thin shoulders. "I suppose I'm rather boyish in figure and they think that I am weird," she said as her mind went over the past couple years of school. If she thought about it, Jay Booth had been the only boy to have shown interest in her and he seemed to have quickly gotten over _that_. _The git,_ Jadis thought to herself. She still was not inclined to think of him very well. "Actually I have no idea what Velma saw in me," she said with a self-deprecating chuckle. "Though considering she is unhinged, I suppose it would make sense that she would want me."

Remus furrowed his brow at this. "Velma aside, I think that you are very bright, and talented and amusing and any boy would be lucky to have you. Boys your age are idiots if they can't see that Jadis, and you shouldn't think too much about it," he said warmly and with his mild smile in place. Jadis looked up and smiled at Professor Lupin for his kind words.

"Thank you, but you're just being nice. No... I will probably end up alone and have millions of cats. I have already gotten an early start, I have Neji," Jadis said with a grin. However, Professor Lupin did not smile at this in turn and she supposed that she was being to down on herself, aloud. Mentally she slapped herself for being so open, _Great now he's going to think I have self-esteem issues. _"I was just joking Professor," she said with a small smile as she stared into his concerned brown eyes. "In all honesty I just think that Slytherins are unsuitable matches," she said with a shrug. "With perhaps the exception of Matt, but even he can be a pain."

"Jadis, are you in love with Matt," Remus asked with a furrowed brow as he felt his stomach turn into unpleasant knots. He didn't know why the thought of her being in love with the boy made him feel so sickeningly unpleasant, but he didn't want to think about that. Instead, he focused his gaze on the amusing expression that crossed her face as she seemed to turn green.

"Merlin no, I have always seen Matt as something akin to a brother; he's a nuisance that I have to bare with and have grown to care for," she replied with a small smile. Remus chuckled lightly at this feeling relieved and not sure why. "Did you know that he and Pam are engaged?" Jadis went on as she bounced in her seat with excitement.

Remus nodded at this. "I noticed the engagement ring," he said with a smile, amused by her enthusiasm. It were almost as though she were the one that was getting married. For a moment, they both stared across the table into each others eyes as a companionable silence spread between them. Remus watched as her eyes glazed over and he smiled in amusement, wondering what she was thinking about now and utterly entranced by the beauty of her large, Spanish eyes.

Meanwhile, Jadis started wondering at the fact that since they had gotten engaged, why Pam and Matt hadn't spoken much of their engagement. _They are still rather young, what will their parents think?_ Jadis wondered to herself. She was almost sure that Pam's parents would object. It seemed to her that they didn't very much approve at Matt and for a moment she wondered about her parents. She didn't think she could get a reaction from them, even if she were to tell them that she'd had an affair with one of her Professors.

Not wanting to think about this, she forced her eyes to settle on the amber eyes that were staring into her own. She felt a small blush creeping onto her face as she realized that there was an amused smile on Professor Lupin's face as he watched her. _Merlin he has a gorgeous smile and wonderful eyes, _she thought to herself as the blush on her face intensified and her stomach started to do somersaults at the way that he was staring at her as though there were nothing more fascinating. She couldn't believe that she could retain his entertainment like this, and as she thought of his sweet nature she thought about the way that she couldn't imagine that he'd ever mistreat her.

However, the moment was lost as one of the elves dropped a pan and caused them both to jump out of their thoughts. Wondering what time it was, Jadis looked around and as she noted that it was nearly curfew, she jumped up with a yelp. "It's almost curfew. I have to run Professor, if Snape catches me out at this hour he will skin me alive," Jadis said with a nervous and apologetic smile as she suddenly ran out of the kitchens. Remus watched her with a furrowed brow and smiled slightly in amusement. Shaking his head, he too got to his feet, thinking that it certainly would be an interesting year.

**TBC...**

**A/n: **Please review and tell me what you think so that I know whether or not it is worth my time to continue this story. Also sorry for mistakes that slipped by my notice when editing.


	13. Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 13: Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking**_

Jadis stayed in her dorm most of the weekend, avoiding the outside world for as long as possible. She didn't particularly wish to walk around with everyone watching her and whispering about her behind her back. Word had already gotten around about what happened in their Defense Against the Dark Arts class. When she had gotten back to Slytherin that night, most of the seventh years in the room turned to look at her and started snickering at her. Unsurprisingly, Velma Donovan was not in the common room.

Therefore Jadis had not left her four-poster all weekend. Instead she spent most of it doing her homework and when she was through with that, she spent most of her free time reading to get ahead in her classes, painting her nails or playing with Neji. Pam wasn't released until Sunday afternoon from the Hospital Wing, so until then she didn't have anyone to talk to her or bring her anything to eat. She supposed that she wasn't starving however, as she found several pieces of candy in the bottom of her trunk from the previous year. Though after stuffing her face with so many sweets, she felt rather disgusted and she wanted to throw up.

Sufficed to say that it wasn't a particularly exciting weekend. Monday was no better as every time she made her way between classes, she felt all the eyes of her classmates staring at her and chuckling quietly to themselves. However, no one had given her dirty or disgusted looks and she supposed that people didn't care too much about sexual orientations, and it didn't seem that too many younger students knew about the incident. Although, all the Slytherin's seemed to. However, no one dared to give Velma a hard time about it, at least not to her face.

Jadis hoped, however, that it would soon go away as she made her way to Defense Against the Dark Arts on Tuesday. "Jadis, after what Lupin does today, Velma's confession will be old news," Matt said with a grin as the last of the people who hadn't gotten a chance to repel the Imperious Curse during the previous class stood in line. Once more, Matt, and Jadis stood in the center of the short line of people who had yet to be tested against the Imperious Curse. As Pam had now rejoined them, she was standing between Matt and Jadis.

"That is not amusing Matt," Jadis said as she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her best mate. Honestly, the boy could sometimes be an idiot in her opinion. _Why am I friends with him?_ Jadis wondered to herself. _Oh yeah, because he's amused by you and was the only person willing to talk you first year,_ she thought to herself with a furrowed brow. _But a fool for a friend is better than no friends. Besides, he can make you smile and cheer you up. You NEED his friendship, _she thought almost bitterly to herself.

"Well then look at this way. Its October, so you only have about eight more months to deal with this hell hole," Matt said with a grin as he stared forward and watched the Head Girl jump in place, clearly failing at throwing off the Imperious Curse. Pam frowned slightly at this, objecting inwardly about her fiancé referring to Hogwarts as a hell hole. In her opinion it was a saving grace, it meant that she could get away from her overbearing parents for most of the year. She wasn't sure what she was going to do when she had to go back home.

Jadis glared at Matt in response. She wanted to smack him on the back of the head. However, she had other things on her mind as the last of the Ravenclaws went up. "Yes, well I hope Lupin makes you do something hideously embarrassing, but considering what heathen you are, I doubt that anything will ever embarrass you," Jadis said. Matt's turn was following after the last Ravenclaw's finished. She felt her stomach churn at this. After Matt, Pam was next and that meant that Jadis soon would be having her turn. Turning her gaze to Lupin who was concentrating on the last of the Ravenclaws, she wondered whether he was going to be merciful with her and hoping that he would.

Matt stepped up to the plate when the last Ravenclaw threw off the imperious curse, causing the seated students who had already gone up to applaud as they were intently watching the last of their classmates. Jadis watched intently as Lupin said Imperio. For a moment, she watched as Matt simply stood there. However, she could see small beads of sweat start to spring on his forehead. It was clear that Matt was really putting some effort on not doing whatever it was that Lupin wanted him to do. He was doing very well and Professor Lupin finally removed the curse. "That was excellent Matt," Remus said, honestly surprised that the boy had such will power.

Matt grinned as he walked over to take his seat and turned his full attention to watch Pam walk up to the front of the class. She was fidgeting nervously as she looked at Professor Lupin apprehensively. Jadis suddenly felt the zen-like feeling that she usually felt when watching Pam fidget. She wasn't very surprised that a few seconds after Pam went up, the girl started to sing a song Jadis didn't recognize at all. It almost sounded as though it were in a different language. _Hey, she doesn't sound too bad,_ Jadis thought to herself, as Lupin removed the curse.

Pam blushed furiously as she immediately took off to sit next to Matt. Jadis smiled as she watched Matt wrap an arm around her shoulder as she hid her face in his shoulder as the rest of the class made cat calls at her. For the moment, she lost herself as she watched them, thinking that they were the sweetest thing. However, she was quickly brought back to earth when she heard Lupin call out her name and the rest of the class suddenly went silent.

Trying not to blush and desperately trying to ignore the nervous knot her stomach was turning into, she stepped up to the front of the class and turned to face her classmates. The few people left in line, and most of the people that were seated and watching, were grinning at her in amusement or talking to one another about her. Purposefully Jadis tried to not look at Velma, or Jay booth. However, she found it hard to ignore everyone else. For a moment, she sought the two friendly faces of her friends, but Pam still had her face buried it Matts shoulder and Matt was still trying to make her come around. Finding no encouragement in her only friends, she turned to look at Lupin, who had his usual mild smile.

Not feeling very reassured, she was distracted and before she knew it, she heard Lupin murmur the words that she dreaded to hear. Immediately she felt the oddest sensation that she was floating. All her worries seemed to slip away, like the slate of her mind was completely wiped clean. Everything that caused her pain seemed to evaporate, and she was barely aware that her class was watching her. She was in what felt like a very happy place, where her parents and Snape didn't exist. Event the sudden echo of Professor Lupin's mild voice didn't bother her. _"Dance," _the simple command echoed in her head and Jadis felt her legs put themselves in the first position of ballet as her arms extended forward.

She closed her eyes as her body made familiar movements of so long ago. She felt as though she were dancing in the clouds, and she felt immensely free. Her body seemed to call to mind everything she had learned long ago, and her mind was not impeded by any thoughts. It was nice. She didn't have to think. She didn't have to feel. All there was, was an odd freedom that didn't seem as though it should come with being controlled by someone else.

However, the feeling didn't last long. She wasn't sure how long she was under the influence of the Imperious Curse, but after a moment, she felt that blissful feeling that it gave her evaporate into nothing. Opening her eyes, she became aware of the way that everyone was staring at her. It was odd to see the awe on their faces and she furrowed her brow as she looked at her silent classmates. They were no longer talking about her and were simply staring with dumbfounded expression. Staring at Jay Booth, his open mouth almost seemed to be dripping drool. The only face that she saw in the sea of blankness that did not seemed impressed was that of Velma Donovan's. Her mouth was closed tightly and she had her arms crossed over her chest while her eyes were green with envy.

Looking over at Professor Lupin, she saw that he too was staring at her with something akin to awe. However, his mouth was not hanging stupidly open. Lowering her arms as she only just realized that she was still extending them, she straightened up. "Guess I failed that, huh," she said as she scratched her neck. Remus nodded, however, suddenly shook his head from the daze he had fallen in by watching her dance ballet. She moved her body so beautifully and as though there weren't any bones in her body. Her limbs seemed to defy physics and looked very elegant and beautiful as she performed her movements precisely.

"Maybe next time," Remus said with an encouraging smile. Jadis merely shrugged as she walked over to take her seat, completely avoiding catching Velma's eyes and ignoring her for the rest of the lesson. Instead her mind was going over the experience and wondering why she had done nothing at all to try and fight off Lupin's command. Was she that willing to allow someone else to control her? Or was it simply because dancing did not cause her embarrassment or anxiety? Or was it simply that she trusted Lupin enough no to mind being controlled by him.

She was so lost in her thoughts, that she paid no mind to the rest of her classmates and was surprised when class came to an end. "For next class I want a ten inch essay on the three unforgivable curses, with particular emphasis on the Imperious curse and your personal experiences under it," Remus called out as everyone started to get up. "I want it prepared for the next lesson and we will continue to practice the Imperious curse for the next couple classes, I want everyone to get at least three tries under it."

Jadis sighed as she stood up and along with her friends walked out of class and headed to lunch. "Jadis, will you please tell Pam that her singing is nothing that she should be embarrassed about?" Matt suddenly said in exasperation as they made their way down the hallway together. Jadis turned her gaze over to Pam who was still blushing furiously as she furrowed her brow at this. However, before she could say anything, she heard someone calling out her name. Turning around, she was rather startled to find it was Jay Booth who was calling out her name and who was running to catch up with her with a smile on his face. Turning to her friends, she told them that she would catch up to them, before turning her attention back to Jay.

"Hey Jadis, I just wanted to say that I am sorry for being such a prat lately and I wanted to tell you that you dance beautifully," he said with apologetic smile to her. Jadis blinked stupidly as she stared at him, wondering at the fact that he was talking to her again and smiling. Raising a brow as she looked at him, she watched as he adjusted his bag strap. "Where did you learn to dance like that?"

"I'm sorry, did I just step into an alternate universe?" she asked, causing him to furrow his brow in mild confusion. "I thought that you were no longer speaking to me. What's with the sudden change of attitude? What were you PMS-ing the past couple weeks?" she asked coldly as she narrowed her gaze on him. His change in character had completely wiped away the pleasant effect he used to have on her. She was now impervious to his charm. She found his fickle character was more than she was willing to put up with. She had enough of fakers and pretenders. She was sick of it. She wanted someone sincere, someone real, someone loyal. Someone who wasn't going to change their mind from one millisecond to the next.

"I... its just what you did to Samantha, she's my friend and I didn't think it was very nice of you. I am sorry, I hadn't known that she had been attacking you when you were unaware," Jay said as he stared at her. Jadis was not impressed by this response and she assumed by 'Samantha' he was referring to that Ravenclaw girl she had been up against in their dueling review a couple of weeks earlier.

"Well I think you are rather thick, as you once said you were, and I don't want anything to do with you, so kindly do me the favor of fucking off," she said as she suddenly turned on her heel, not concerned with the astonished look that crossed his face as she made her way down the hall. She wasn't sure where all the sudden, cold-anger had come from, but she supposed that its roots were laid in the pain that she felt from her last amorous experience. She supposed it also had to do with the fact that she had set her hopes on Jay for some normalcy, and found herself sorely disappointed.

In the days that followed, life seemed to almost return to some normalcy. People stopped staring at her and talking about her behind her back, probably because they had seen her dance. As for Jay, he stopped trying to talk to her, and also stopped glaring at her. It was as though he didn't know her, and in Jadis' opinion that was a vast improvement. As for that Friday's Potions lesson, Jadis forgot to smoke a mellow-stick, but by the end of the lesson, she found that she hadn't needed it. Somehow, the pain she felt when she looked at Snape was overshadowed by the anger that started to take over. She wasn't exactly sure what had caused it, but she supposed it was so much easier now that Snape was treating her like she was any other student, most in particular a Ravenclaw as he tended to ignore them.

As for her Defense Against the Dark Arts class... she still continued to fail when it came to the Imperious curse. She didn't know what it was about it, but she simply could not overcome it. She had no will at all to fight it off, and she found herself becoming more and more aggravated by the situation. Especially as on her Defense class that following Tuesday, Pam finally succeeded and in what she continued to fail at. Her mind simply refused to even try and for the rest of the week, she found herself in a foul mood.

"Jadis, I hope this cheers you up, because you been a right git lately," Matt said as he suddenly plopped down next to his best mate. Jadis looked up from the magazine that she was lazily flipping through and raised a brow over at her best friend. _Have I been that bad? _Jadis wondered to herself as she stared expectantly at Matt for him to go on. "First Hogsmead weekend at the end of the month," he said as he wiggled his brow at her.

Jadis raised a sleek brow at this and smiled slightly, thinking of the potential havoc they could wreak, or at the very least thinking about restocking her junk-food stash. "Is it on Halloween?" Jadis asked as she looked over at Matt, who nodded in response and grinned at her. Jadis merely rolled her eyes, Matt was rather fond of the holiday and usually made them wear costumes, despite the fact that it was a muggle custom. The only reason that Jadis went along with it was because it also happened to be Matt's birthday. Since their first year, they always dressed up on Halloween and when Pam joined them, she did as well. "Where is Pam?" she asked as she turned her dark gaze to her Witch Weekly magazine, and lazily turned the page.

Matt sighed in mock disappointment about his overachieving fiancé. "I think that she went to talk to Lupin about the grade that he gave her on the last essay he set. Apparently he made a mistake," Matt said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Jadis merely nodded in response at this as she continued to flip through the magazine, agonizingly bored with it, but not having anything else to do. Lately, she hadn't spoken very much to Professor Lupin. She supposed it was her foul mood that made her distance herself from him. He didn't speak to her either, though she supposed that was just normal._ Probably better this way. I'm too fond of him as Professor to want to get any closer. Don't want history to repeat itself,_ she thought as she shoved mental images of the handsome man out of her mind.

"You know, he's seemed really distracted lately," Matt suddenly said. However, Jadis wasn't aware of what he said for a moment as she had lost herself reading a review about a new acne potion. After a moment she realized he said something and asked him to repeat himself. Matt sighed in exasperation as he stared at his dark-haired friend. "I said that he's been pretty distracted the past couple weeks. I mean when has he ever made a mistake in his grading?"

"Well he's human, mistakes happen," Jadis said with a disinterested shrug. However, she soon turned to look towards the Common Room entrance to see Pam who was entering, before casting a look around the rest of the room. It was surprisingly empty. Despite the fact that it was the weekend, there were only a few scattered sixth years. However, she supposed that the Slytherin team was practicing, and that accounted for most of it. _Good riddance. I can't stand Marcus Flint and his lot. Bunch of idiots.  
_

"What did Professor Lupin say?" Matt asked as Pam joined them. She took a seat next to him on the couch and smiled lightly when Matt looped his arm around her neck and pulled her to him, placing a kiss on her cheek. Jadis made mock gagging noises at the display of affection, causing Matt to toss a crumpled piece of paper at her and hitting her right on the forehead.

"Well he seemed a little out of it, but when he focused he saw that I was right and he corrected my grade," Pam replied as she blushed lightly. She never much liked pointing out mistakes to her Professor. Most of them didn't take too kindly to it either. However, Lupin had been very nice, like he usually was. She supposed that she wasn't really surprised by that. "He asked about you, you know."

Jadis looked over at Pam and raised a brow at this. "What? Why?" she mumbled as she stared at Pam in confusion. _He's asking about me?_ She wondered to herself, finding it inconceivable that he would care to ask about her, especially when he had only seen her on Friday. Sure they got along, but Lupin was the type of person to get along with everyone. She couldn't take that personally, especially as he treated all his students in the same way.

Pam shrugged her thin shoulders in response. "He said that you looked somewhat stressed lately. He said that he would have talked to you personally about it, but that he's been very busy lately," Pam said with a shrug of her shoulders. Jadis felt a pleasant warm feeling rising from the pit of her stomach, though she was confused that so many people were noticing that she was so out of it. _God, how moody have I been lately? And awww, that is so considerate of him to notice and care to ask,_ she thought as she squealed internally about it. _What was that for? _She suddenly wondered to herself as she furrowed her brow. _What am I getting excited for? Merlin, I'm a maniac._

"What did you tell him?" Jadis asked as she closed her magazine and stretched, feigning nonchalance and hoping that neither of the blonds before her had noted the smile that had come over her face. However, as the happy couple was rather involved with each other, they hadn't really noticed. In fact, Pam was having a hard time paying attention to the conversation as Matt played with a strand of her hair near the back of her neck, causing goosebumps to rise on her skin and for her hair to stand on end. It made it impossible to concentrate on the conversation she was supposed to be having with Jadis.

"Not-nothing," Pam stuttered as she shivered. Jadis grimaced as she looked over at them._ Merlin they are practically going through foreplay in the common room, _she said as her face twisted in mild disgust. Crinkling her nose, she hastily took the magazine that rested on her lap and tossed it on the table-top.

"Right, well I'll leave you two kiddies to your own devices," she said as she got to her feet. "See you later," she said as she prepared to take off.

"Jadis, wait," Matt called out, only just noticing that he was making his friend leave when he wanted to talk to her. Jadis stopped in her tracks and turned to look at Matt with a furrowed brow. "Now that you are both here, I wanted to ask you what our costumes would be for this Halloween?" he asked with a grin.

"We are doing that again this year? Last year we got kicked out of all of our classes for wearing costumes," Pam said with a frown as she twisted her hands in her lap in concern. Jadis thought of the previous year with a fond smile of remembrance. They had dressed up as characters from the wizard of Oz. Matt had decided to dress up as a flying monkey, with wings that actually worked. Pam had of course wanted to be the good witch and Jadis... well it was between Dorothy and the Wicked Witch of the West and personally, she didn't want to be a simpleton.

"That was fun," Jadis murmured to herself with a dopey grin as she recalled the look of several of her classmates when they were seen in their costumes and the undignified expression on McGonagall's face when she kicked them out.

Matt grinned in return, but turned to look at the still fretting Pam with a sigh. "Last year we got kicked out because McGonagall has no sense of humor. No one else minds, except professor Snape also. Anyway, Halloween this year is on the weekend. So no worries, love," Matt said, as he placed a kiss on Pam's cheek, Pam thought about it and nodded, however, she was still rather worried about the costume, she hoped that it wasn't anything terribly embarrassing or over the top.

"Isn't it a little early to worry abut that though? Halloween isn't for another two weeks," Jadis chimed in suddenly with a furrowed brow.

"Yeah, but we need to order them and have them delivered. Besides, since its on a Hogsmead weekend, I was thinking that we could make a whole day of it," Matt said, suddenly leaning in to them and looking around to make sure that no one overheard them. "I got a room reserved for us in the Three Broomsticks, and my dad is mailing me a couple bottles of firewhiskey to Hogsmead."

Jadis raised a brow at this, while Pam frowned slightly once more. "So we're really going to party this year, eh?" Jadis asked with a smirk, her eyes glinting at the prospect and matching Matt's enthusiasm. However, another part of her brain was telling her that this was a terrible idea. _The place is swarming with Dementors, a raving lunatic is on the loose, and you want to get drunk? _her head rationalized, but the part of her that was reckless, quickly shut it up. _Hey, you only live once and its Matt's birthday, I'm not going to spoil it for him._

X_X

Remus sat in the staff lounge running a hand over his face as he tried desperately to concentrate on the essays before him. However, his mind kept turning to the thoughts he wanted to avoid. Images of the dreams that were keeping him from sleeping peacefully kept invading his conscious mind. Try as he might, he could not stop thinking about them, severely undermining his ability to pay attention to whatever he did lately. Luckily he hadn't made it very obvious by botching his lessons, or making many grading mistakes.

Unfortunately, he couldn't say that it was not having an effect on him though. Because of the inappropriate and graphic nature of his dreams, he'd been forced to start avoiding the shining start that appeared in all his dreams, Jadis. He was certain, however, that Jadis had not noticed, as she seemed to be rather distracted lately, more so than usual. The difference he supposed was that she was very concentrated on what they were doing in class and her inability to do it, which he thought was angering her.

He'd had a strong desire to help her as he did with most of his struggling students, but the dreams and the strong attachment that he had formed for her in just a month impeded him. He didn't trust himself to be alone with with her, at least not until the full moon had long passed and he had full control of himself. He also needed his senses to be at their lowest so he did not feel overwhelmed by her intoxicating presence. However, even then he was weary of being around her. He didn't want to get anymore attached to her the he already was, and he was sure further contact with her would make it impossible for him to ever walk away.

The incident he believed to have triggered it all was watching her dance ballet, for the fact that she had kissed him on her birthday was far more easier to forget, considering the fact that it had been very brief. Not to mention his complete and utter shock, coupled with the impropriety of the event made it simple to ignore. Especially as he rather did not like the fact that it was really against her will as well as his, after all she had only done it to get over a dare. It wasn't as though she liked him.

Though, despite all this, it was hard to ignore the fact that her lips had been very soft. Actually the brevity of the kiss seemed to rather make him desire more contact, which was the reason he always made it a point not to look at her delicious mouth. Actually he usually made it a point not to notice anything beneath the level of her shoulders. Her mouth and neck were a little harder to not focus on, but he managed for the most part quite admirably.

However, seeing her dance had certainly changed things. It was the amazing grace in her movements while dancing, the flexibility in her long and elegant limbs, which made her simply far more charming and made him very aware just how beautiful she was. She was enticing and completely alluring from the crown of her head to the tips of her toes and watching her dance made him aware of it as he had never been before. Despite her slim figure she had subtle curves and very beautiful, long legs. Remus could not stop thinking of the way they would wrap around him in his dreams. However, he was far more fascinated by her creamy, unblemished, alabaster skin that was yelling and screaming for him to mark it. Most enticing of all was the smell of her. He was hungry to smell even more and he felt an almost desperate desire to taste her.

Shaking his head, Remus sighed as he pushed these infuriating thoughts away. Jadis, despite being a legal adult, was still very young and most important of all, she was his student. He should not be thinking of her so lecherously. Putting down his quill, he ran his hands through his hair in frustration. He was only going to drive himself insane if he didn't find a way to put her out of his thoughts.

"Are you all right Remus?" Remus looked to his left and found his eyes clashing with those of Rolanda Hooch, who was seated with Minerva on the couch, both sipping tea. Smiling bashfully, Remus turned his eyes away from the witch with owl-like eyes and looked at the essays that he was grading, mumbling that he was all right. He'd never felt particularly comfortable under her gaze. He'd always felt as though he were something she wanted to prey on.

"I recognize that frustration. It only comes from a difficult student, particularly the Slytherins," Minerva said as she eyed Remus carefully, the corner of her mouth upturned. Remus looked up and over at his ex-head of house. _If only you knew, _he thought to himself ironically, while wondering how quickly he'd be turned out of Hogwarts if it were discovered that he was having inappropriate feelings for one of his students._ "_My guess your problem is Malfoy, Flint, Jacobs or Luna," Minerva said.

Remus looked up and raised his brows. Of all his students, he supposed those were at the top of his list of most troublesome students. However, he assumed that Minerva had included Matt and Jadis because she wasn't as amused by their antics a he was. "Minerva, do you not like Jadis?" Remus asked as he sat back in his chair. He still found it slightly odd to refer to someone who had been his Professor by their first name, but it was necessary as they were colleagues. At least it was necessary when not around students.

Minerva shook her head in response. "No, she is brilliant and for the most part benevolent. It just frustrates me that she take such a casual approach to her education and life in general. Not to mention that her behavior needs to be seriously curved. Though I suppose lately she has been working hard on her studies, but it won't last," Minerva said, causing Rolanda to snort while Remus thought about that. In the past several weeks Jadis did seem to have improve her work ethic, her grades showed a slight change for the better; she seemed more applied in her studies this past month than she had been in all of September.

"Oh Minerva, please," Rolanda said, as she turned her gaze to Remus who suddenly shook his head and brought himself back to the present. "Her problem with Jadis is that the girl painfully reminds her of her wild youth. Before Minerva had that wand shoved up her arse, she was a lot like Jadis. Brilliant, practically shameless, and wild with little regard towards rules if she could avoid getting caught," Rolanda said, laughing in amusement as she fondly thought of their days at Hogwarts, causing Minerva to go into a stunned silence. "In fact, when we were seventh years, Minerva was absolutely bent on getting the attention of-"

"That is enough Rolanda!" Minerva said angrily as she glared at her friend. She couldn't believe Rolanda would reveal _that_ to someone. Rolanda, only just realizing that perhaps she was going a bit too far this time, smiled sheepishly.

"I'm sorry Min, but your days as a hell-raiser are too good to keep to ourselves, considering how vastly you changed after Hogwarts," Rolanda said, as she gave her friend an apologetic. She then turned to Remus. "Though Minerva was a very applied student. As far as teachers and most people were concerned, she was the perfect student, that was why she became a Perfect and then Head girl. Though that might also have been because-"

"Rolanda!" Minerva said angrily as she put her cup on the nearby table and rapidly got to her feet. "We are going to have a very serious talk," Minerva said as her face burned with embarrassment as she grabbed her friend by the arm and hauled her to her feet. Luckily Rolanda's cup was empty and she didn't spill tea on herself. "Excuse us Remus," she said stiffly as she hauled Rolanda out of the staff lounge. Rolanda managed to shook him an apologetic smile before they made their hasty exit.

Remus watched the older witches depart with amused confusion. However, the discussion had peaked his curiosity enough to replenish his mood. He just couldn't reconcile the image he'd always had of Minerva McGonagall to what she'd apparently been like in her youth. And what had she done in her seventh year that she was so horrified about anyone knowing? Feeling in better spirits, Remus returned his attention to the essays that he had been grading.

X_X

Severus had a lot on his mind as Halloween steadily approached, much of it having to do with the full moon and the knowledge that a certain lycanthrope currently resided in the castle and could be a very dangerous hazard to the school. He'd have to make the wolf-bane potion to try and prevent any disasters. And it was not like the wolf-band potion were easy to create. It was a very difficult potion and it was very time-consuming.

Though there was no doubt in his mind that he would be able to create it, he was rather vexed by having to waste his time making it. Especially for someone that he didn't particularly like as it meant that all his energy and thoughts had to be devoted to the potion. However, there was no choice in the matter as it was a request from Dumbledore. Though, had it been up to him he would have never allowed Lupin to teach in the first place.

Nonetheless he supposed that considering the recent turn of events, it was for the best that he had something to occupy his mind. After all, his concentration being required elsewhere enabled him to leave Jadis alone as she had requested on her birthday. However, it also made it easier for him to ignore the fact that she was clearly, finally getting angry with him for what he had put her through. While it was what he wanted, he wasn't sure that he really liked it. He didn't like thinking that the only woman who had ever loved him, now hated him because he had to let her go for her own good. It made him feel rather ill and made it very apparent to him that she was right when she said that he still loved her

Unfortunately, he knew that it wasn't enough, that she deserved more than he would be able to give her. And despite his control of his emotions, despite being able to hide the fact that he loved her and that a part of him pined for her, he wasn't sure that he would be able to hide his anger and possessiveness for long. Especially not if she started to show interest in someone else, or if someone showed interest in her. That was why he wanted so desperately for the year to be over and for her to gone. He couldn't bare witness to a new love coming into her life, not if he wanted to keep his sanity.

**TBC...**

**A/n: **Sorry for any mistakes that may have slipped by my notice. I of course edited before posting, but I suck at editing. Anyway, I hope that you all enjoyed the chapter. Please Review and I will try not to take too long o update.


	14. This Is Halloween

**Dagger Collector **

_**Chapter 14: This Is Halloween**_

Jadis stared at herself in the mirror and grimaced at her reflection. _What was Matt thinking when he picked our costumes? _She wondered to herself as she looked down at the white, thigh highs that she had to wear, along with the ridiculously tall, porn-star heels that she had to wear that she was sure would make her break her neck if she fell, or in the least break her ankles. _Then again, why would I let him pick them?_ She asked herself as she placed the little white hat on the top of her hair, which was held in a half-ponytail, before looping the stethoscope around her neck; the finishing touches to her muggle, nurses costume. She then proceeded to stick her wand inside her-thigh highs, on the side of her right leg.

_At least the dress flatters your slim figure, and at least you have the legs for it,_ her mind reminded her as she turned sideways and looked at her figure in the mirror. The white, button up nurses dress that she wore had thin shoulder straps and only reached down to one or two inches just short of mid-thigh. However, despite the fact that she knew she had to look good, she wasn't feeling very confident about this. While she wasn't easily embarrassed and wasn't overly modest, looking silly was one thing and looking slutty was completely different. _Oh get over it Luna, its Halloween, looking slutty is perfectly permissible during this holiday, _ she reprimanded herself as she gathered the courage to leave the girls dormitory.

Turning around, she walked very slowly out of the dorm and towards stairs leading to the Slytherin common room. She was at least grateful that it was Hogsmead weekend, which meant that everyone had gone to breakfast extra early so that they could leave as soon as was possible. As Hosgmead weekends were no novelty to them, Jadis, Matt and Pam tended to leave a little later than the younger students, as was the case for most sixth and seventh years. Usually they waited for the large throngs to leave.

"Hey Jadis, you look great," Matt said with a grin as he saw his friend, dressed in all white. Jadis merely grinned as she looked towards Matt. He had really gone all out. He was dressed as what muggle seemed to depict the devil as, with horns, tail, pitchfork, cape and everything. It was really rather funny as he had even painted his skin red and his hair black. It was currently slicked back, and he had a small mustache and goatee that made him look slightly sinister. Though he still looked good, which Jadis had to roll her eyes at.

"Is that paint all over your body, or just the parts that are showing?" Jadis asked as she turned her gaze back to Matt and laughed. Matt merely wiggled his brows at his best mate suggestively in response while grinning at her. "Where is Pam?" she asked as she looked around. She hadn't been up in their dorm and she had imagined that she had already gone down to meet Matt.

"She left early to have her costumes hemline elongated. She says as we aren't going to be wearing cloaks, she doesn't feel comfortable going out like that. Especially as she is supposed to be an angel," Matt replied as he rolled his eyes. They had placed warming charms on their costumes so that they wouldn't have to cover them up with cloaks. However, Jadis was sure that she was still going to suffer the cold as you can't put warming charms on bare skin, of which she was showing a fair amount. Even now as she stood in the Slytherin common room, she felt her skin rising in goosebumps. Not that Slytherin was ever particularly warm seeing as it was under the lake. However, she was at least grateful that the silk ribbons she always had tied around her left forearm and right hand were going to keep those parts of her warm.

Casting a quick glance around the common room Jadis grimaced at the way that a couple second year boys were leering at her. "Yeah, lets go," she said as she grabbed Matt by the arm and hauled him towards the exit. _Little pervs!_ She thought to herself as she dragged Matt out, who was complaining about her holding onto his arm. "Hey, I can barely walk in these things and as I am wearing them because of you, you are going to have to be my crutch so shut it," she snapped at him as they navigated through the empty and cold dungeon halls before taking the stairs that emerged onto the first floor's Entrance Hall.

Matt didn't say anything in response as he obliged his friend who was being sport enough to wear the skimpy costume that he had chosen for her. However, they both had to stop walking as they came across Professor McGonagall who immediately placed hand over her heart as she flinched at the sight of them. "That is hardly appropriate to wear Miss Luna, Mr. Jacobs," she said sternly as she took in the sight of the pair and tried to recover from the shock and horror of it.

Jadis smiled as she looked at the Gryffindor Head of House. "We were just leaving to Hogsmead, so you don't have to worry about many students in the castle seeing us," she said sweetly as she looked at the head of Gryffindor. Minerva sighed in exasperation as she walked away from the pair. She didn't have time or patience to deal with the pair at the moment and as far as she was concerned, they were really Severus' problem. _Let him discipline them as he wishes_.

"That was surprisingly easy," Matt muttered with a raised brow as he watched the older witch head towards the nearest staircase and disappear. Jadis merely shrugged her practically bare shoulders. She figured that McGonagall was rather too busy to care about what they were doing at the moment.

"Oh my-" Jadis and Matt both turned around and turned to look into Professor Lupin's shocked face, as it seemed that he had just emerged from the Great Hall. Like McGonagall, his hand was placed over his heart over the shock of what he had seen as he had exited the Great Hall. However, now that the students that were apparently in costumes turned to face him, he felt his mouth drop and go horribly dry as he saw what Jadis had on. Blushing furiously, he turned away from her and looked at Matt, trying frantically to get the image of her in that extremely tight, short dress and her elongated legs from registering in his mind. "What are you wearing?"

Jadis felt her cheeks burn slightly, as Matt snickered at Professor Lupin's response. The man was still trying to turn back to his original color as he had gone as red as the paint that Matt was wearing. "Its my birthday, and its our tradition to wear costumes on my birthday," Matt replied with a grin towards Lupin. Lupin had a tight smile over his face and was forcing his eyes to stay on Matt as he nodded.

"And I suppose that you are Satan?" he asked as he stared at the boy before him from head to toe, taking in the paint, the fake widow's peak that his dyed-black, slicked back hair had been turned into. Matt merely nodded in response with a grin. Remus than turned towards Jadis, though focusing his eyes on the floor as he pretended to scratch his forehead. "And you, Jadis?" he asked as he tried to get the flush in his face to recede.

"A muggle nurse, I guess," she replied with a shrug, wondering at the fact that Lupin didn't want to look at her. She felt her stomach churning anxiously. _Am I repulsing him?_ She wondered to herself as she stared at him with a slight grimace.

"Ah... I wasn't aware that they... dressed like that," Remus said, keeping his gaze focused on the floor as he continued to scratch his forehead. _Why did I have to run into her looking like this_? _Just when I thought that I could stop thinking about her! Merlin she smells delicious,_ he thought as he turned to look at Matt, only realizing that the boy was saying something to him. He only managed to get the end, though he imagined the gist of it was that nurses didn't typically dress _that_ sexually. "Right," Remus said with a smile, as he suddenly noted the slight whiff of anxiety mixing with Jadis' smell.

Turning his amber gaze towards the girl, he focused his gaze with concern on her glimmering eyes. He realized that he was perhaps making her feel uncomfortable. Feeling that his face was no longer blushing, and focusing on her anxiety with concern, he was able to put any torturing thoughts away as he smiled mildly at Jadis. "Well, you will certainly shock many people, rather amusing. Have fun, you two and do be careful," he said with a smile towards the both of them as he hurriedly walked away.

Jadis turned and watched him disappear up the stairs, feeling slightly reassured with his warm eyes and the mild smile that he had given them. "Jadis... I think you will be featured in his next wet dream," Matt said with a laugh as he nudged his best mate. Jadis head snapped over to her friend and the warm feeling she had previously had vanished as she felt slightly irritated.

"That's not funny!" she said as she punched him on the arm. Matt continued to laugh as he rubbed his sore arm. Sighing in exasperation, Jadis grabbed onto his arm. "Let's go before we run into anyone else," Jadis said. _Like Snape, _her mind told her as she hurriedly hauled her friend out of the castle. Once they had been checked off by Filch who gave them a very dirty look of disapproval, they quickly made their way across the grounds and towards the Post office where they would be meeting up with Pam, who was already there waiting for them with Matt's packages.

"Where to now?" Matt asked as they exited the Post Office and started to make their way down the main street. "Should we do some shoping, or get a bite to eat, or go straight to our reserved room?" Matt asked as both girls walked on each side of him, both clinging onto an arm.

"Sssss- creew doing any sh-sh-shopping, we could do-do-do that next t-t-time. Let's go-go-go st-st-st-straight to the room, we could order ssss-something to eat from th-th-there," Jadis said, as her teeth clattered in the cold. The wind was causing her to shiver as it was hitting her hard in the face, arms and the bit of leg that wasn't covered by the dress or her stockings.

Matt looked over at Jadis and merely nodded and the three of them headed quickly to the three-broomsticks and to their reserved room. Once inside, Jadis immediately planted herself in front of the fire place while Matt ordered something for them to eat. After they had eaten, they decided to play some music and drink copious amounts of firewhiskey which Matt's father had so graciously sent them.

X_X

"Professor Snape," Severus stopped walking as he was about the exit the Great Hall and turned to look at the Slytherin Prefect that was addressing him. The four heads of House had convened for a moment to get instructions from Dumbledore as to where to search, while making sure that their Houses were all getting situated in the Great Hall.

"What is it?" he snapped irritably as he stared down at the student. At the moment, he had more important matters on his mind than conversing with a student, especially as he was supposed to be conducting a search for Black on the seventh floor as the rest of the teachers and ghosts searched the rest of the castle. Though, he doubted Black would be in the dungeons, however, perhaps all those years in Azkaban had damaged his mind. Severus could only hope that that was the case and that he would have the fortune of running into him.

"We've counted the Slytherins, there are three students missing," the fifth year before him stated after his momentary flinch away from his Head of House. Severus grit his teeth as he started to rub his temples, which had suddenly started to throb horribly at the sound of this most unwelcome news. He could guess as to what three students the Prefect was referring to as he didn't recall seeing Jadis, Matt or Pam at any point in the day. _Where the bloody hell are those idiots?_ He wondered to himself as he thought in mild horror of what could happen if they ran into Black. His previous hopes of running into the demented lunatic were suddenly vanishing as he hoped that Black had the sense enough to leave the castle.

"I can imagine who," Severus muttered in exasperation as he continued to rub his throbbing temples for a moment as he wondered what he was going to do. After a moment he turned to look at the boy before him as he set his hands to his side. "You are not to say a word of this to anyone. I will look for those three idiots myself," Severus said coldly and sternly.

"But Professor, wouldn't it be wiser-" the boy started to say, however, he closed his mouth when he saw Snape's gaze darken.

"Not a word to anyone. Understood?" he asked. The fifth year before him nodded his head as he swallowed a lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. Severus merely nodded before turning on his heel and heading down towards the nearest staircase, wondering how Jadis, Matt and Pam could be such idiots to be missing at a time like this. However, after a moments thought, he realized that he really should have expected this from Jadis and Matt as they were both very irresponsible. Though he couldn't fathom how Pam could go along with it, despite the fact that he was aware that the girl had no backbone.

Shoving his hands into his robe pockets, Severus tried not to think about that at the moment as he ascended the stairs and headed towards the the tops most floor where Black was most likely to be hiding, near the Gryffindor towards. Grasping his wand firmly and pulling it out, he stalked the darkened halls, making sure that all his senses were at their sharpest. Being used to the darkness of the dungeons, he was sure that his sight wouldn't fail him as he was on a more well-lighted floor. Besides, he had excellent hearing, and he was quite used to stalking down wandering students in the darkness, that he was not at all fazed by the idea of running into Black.

However, after a quick and through search of every hall, classroom, nook and cranny and not having found either Black or the three missing Slytherins, he hurriedly exited made his way down the stairs, collecting reports from any colleague or ghost that he ran into along the way before returning to Great Hall. He was unsure of how much time had passed since he had gone to search the dungeons, however, as he emerged on the first floor, he found that no more than three or four hours had passed.

As he reached the Entrance Hall, he cast a quick glance around to see that it was complete empty for the moment but for the Prefects that were standing guard at the closed doors of the Great Hall. Seeing that everything was in order, he turned to see Filch emerging from the Dungeons. "Any sign of him?" Severus asked as he walked over towards Filch at the head of the stairs. The caretaker merely shook his head. "Very well, find out if the Owlery and the rest of the towers were thoroughly searched," Severus said, before marching past Filch and casting a glance towards the closed doors of the school that lead onto the grounds. He furrowed his brow as he caught sight of a figure stumbling through the darkness.

Pulling out his wand, Severus approached the dark silhouette silently. However, when he was near enough to see who it was, he had to lower his wand he saw that it was Jadis stumbling through the darkness and there seemed to be something wrong with her. Furrowing his brow in concern, Severus walked quickly over the girl who was huddled over and seemed to be barely able to stand up. Thinking that she might be injured, he quickly approached her and grabbed onto her arms, straightening her up.

For a moment, Jadis lifted her heavy head and stared up to see who was grabbing onto her arms. Her bleary eyes caught onto a pair of dark eyes that she knew all too well. However, she was completely numb to all feeling and coherent thoughts were hard to string together as her head was spinning horribly. She was not able to recognize the mild worry in his eyes, that suddenly turned to anger, for she passed out in his pincer-like graps.

Severus grimaced as he caught onto the drunken girl, furious that she could be so idiotic to get drunk at a time like this. However, his mind was full of questions, wondering where on earth she had been all this time, where she had gotten drunk, and if she had just gotten into the castle. Being forced to pick the girl up in his arms, he quickly cast a look back at the Prefects that were standing sentient at the Great Hall's doors. Neither seemed to have noticed him as they were talking to one another. Casting another quick glance towards the staircase that went up, he noticed that Filch was far gone.

Thinking it was best that no one to see Jadis, he quickly made his way down towards the dungeons. At the moment, he wanted nothing more than to batter the girl, demand of her where she had been, and punish her and her idiot friends. However, he could smell that she had far too much to drink and he knew that at the moment, she was very little use to him. He would have to deal with her at a later time, and for the moment all he could do was get her to a safe place, perhaps administer a little Cleansing Potion, and find out the whereabouts of the other two. After all, though he wanted to murder the three of them, he still had to make sure that they were safe.

Quickly heading towards his private quarters, he hastily went to his bedroom and deposited the drunken girl on his large four-poster. Turning around he left the room for a moment to collect a cleansing potion from a cabinet in his private washroom, before returning to the room. Heading over to the side of the bed where he had left her, he uncorked the potion, before inserting his free arm beneath her shoulders and lifting her up. With his other hand, he forcefed the potion into her parted lips.

Most of the potion dribbled down the side of her parted, red, swollen lips, however, sufficient amounts had slipped down her throat after sputtering a bit. "Jadis, where are Matt at Pam?" he asked her forcefully. Her eyes lazily opened and closed a few times as he asked her the same question twice more, each time louder and more forcefully. Without sleep, the potion would not take great effect, however, he had given her enough to at least get this answer from her.

"They're... three...room...at the pub,"she slurred as her eyes drifted closed and she collapsed once more in his arm. Severus thought about her answer and figured that the other two were in a room at the Three-Broomsitcks. Furrowing his brow, he guessed that they were at least safe. Casting a glance at the limp girl in his arms, he hastily placed her back onto the pillows, knowing that he wouldn't get anymore out of her at the moment.

Hastily, he wiped the side of her mouth and removed any potion that she had not drunk before turning around and hastily leaving the room. Closing the door behind himself he then headed out of his private quarters, placing every protection charm that he could think of to keep her safe, before turning around and heading back towards the Great Hall. There was a lot that he wanted to know, like where the hell she had been, and if she had been with her friends how she had managed to get back into the castle with getting through all of the castle's protection and without being detected by the Dementor's. However, he supposed that that would have to wait until the morning

Once he was back in the Entrance Hall, he was surprised to find that it was already past three in the morning. "Professor Snape, everywhere's been searched, there is no sign of him," Severus was startled as Filch suddenly appeared at his side as he stood in the Great Hall. Severus merely nodded as he walked towards the door and passed the Prefects. Creaking the door open slightly, he walked into the Great Hall and cast a quick look around for the Headmaster. Once he had spotted him talking with the Head Boy, he marched over to inform him of the search of the entire castle, and the fact that Black was nowhere inside.

However, after trying to once more remind Dumbeldore of his suspicions, he found himself far more irritated than he'd previously been with the entire situation. Turning on his heel, he hastily exited the Great Hall and headed back towards his private quarters, fuming about the events of the day. It had been bad enough running into Lupin and Potter earlier in the day, the fact that Jadis was missing and turned up drunk while Sirius Black was reported to have been in the castle, coupled with Dumbledore's lack of belief that Lupin would aid Black into the castle made him positively livid.

_When is Dumbledore going to learn that you can't trust everyone?_ He wondered angrily to himself as he entered his private quarters and headed directly to his bottle of firewhisky. _He trusts you doesn't he?_ Another voice suddenly reminded as he pulled out the bottle from a drawer in one of his side-tabled and poured himself a generous drink. However, Severus furiously pushed this thought aside as he tossed the drink back and drank it like it was water. He then proceeded to pour himself another drink as he ran a hand through his greasy hair in frustration.

_But there is no doubt as to where my loyalty is, Lupin is another matter. If Black was capable of betraying Potter, Lupin is certainly capable of betraying Dumbledore and that idiot boy,_ Severus thought as he downed a third drink. Pacing furiously in his living room, he continued to torment himself for a few more minutes until the drinks that he had down started to take some effect. He was relieved when he felt the tense feeling in his shoulders suddenly melt away. Cracking his neck, he relaxed his gate and placed his emptied glass on the side table next to the half-full bottle of firewhisky.

Reminding himself that Jadis was in the other room and that he should check on her, he made his way to his room. Standing in the doorway, he turned his gaze to the eighteen year old girl that was laying in his bed. She was curled up on her side into a tight little ball, her back facing him. Her lose hair, was draped onto the pillow and exposing her nape, her tantalizing skin gleaming over at him as though it were glowing in the semi-darkness. The skimpy costume that she was wearing, that didn't even reach her mid-thigh was doing nothing to cover the expanse of her pale legs especially not now as the position she lay in made the hem ride up. Neither did the thigh-high stalkings that she was wearing really cover anything.

Severus leaned against the doorway and ran a hand over his face. A part of him was sorely tempted by the extremely sensual costume that she was wearing. However, another part, the part that loved her beyond her appearance, was concerned for her. Sighing in frustration, he walked over to where she lay and sat on the edge of the bed. Carefully, trying not to wake the eighteen-year old girl, he slowly removed the high heels that he knew were surely very uncomfortable to sleep in. He then proceeded to remove the thigh-high stalkings from her legs.

For a moment he had to pause in what he was doing and turn away as his hands brushed against the soft skin of her bare legs. Closing his eyes, he ran his hands through his hair. _Jadis isn't something to use to relieve your frustration, and anger. She deserves more, _ he told himself angrily, before turning back to his task and removing her stalkings. He didn't even think to remove the silk ribbons wrapped around her left forearm, for he had never seen her without them, and he didn't think to remove the one wrapped around her right hand as he didn't want to be reminded of his love for her by the marking on her palm. So he merely proceeded to place a cover over her, knowing that she had to be freezing.

All the while, the girl hadn't much woken from her slumber. She had murmured in her sleep a few times, but she was completely knocked out, completely drained to realize what was happening. For a moment, Severus watched the sleeping girl, his entire being aching for what he could no longer have. She looked angelic, even in her drunken slumber. Making sure that the covers were snug around her, Severus proceeded to gently run his fingers through her soft locks of hair. For a moment, he couldn't help himself and he leaned down to place a kiss on the top of her head. However, he rapidly pulled away as he realized what he was doing.

Standing up, he quickly left the room and gently clicked the door shut behind himself. He was going to drive himself insane if he went on like this.

X_X

Jadis lay curled up in the warmth that enveloped her and felt herself smile. She was incredibly comfortable and the pleasant, familiar, warm smell that wafted to her nostrils made her smile. She felt as though she were in heaven and she didn't want to wake up. However, that pleasant feeling that she had started to dissipate as her thoughts became more well-formed. Furrowing her brow over her still closed eyes, she wondered why that smell was so familiar. _It smells like-_

Her eyes then suddenly shot open as she sat up-right in bed and cast a look around the room, which was rather bare. Apart from the bed, nightstand and wardrobe, there wasn't anything else in the room. There were two doorways with closed doors, one across the bed that led towards the washroom, and the other that lead out into the living room. She recognized the room all too well as she had been there many times before.

Her heart thundered terribly in her chest as she realized that she was back in _his_ room again, back in _his_ bed. Feelings tears flood into her eyes as she realized that she was in his room, though alone, she rubbed her face and ran her hands through her hair. _What the hell happened yesterday? _She wondered to herself as she tried to go over the previous day and wondering if she had committed the terrible mistake of sleeping with Severus.

_It was Matt's birthday, we went to Hogsmead, we were drinking_, she thought to herself as she suddenly whimpered. She had never been a particularly good drinker. Typically, if she drank too much, she tended to do things that she wasn't supposed to do and completely black out so that when she awoke in the morning she didn't remember anything. _But... no, no I couldn't have, _she thought to herself as she suddenly looked down at herself. _Jadis, CALM DOWN, you're still dressed, that means you couldn't have had sex or else you would have woken up nude, _she told herself as she realized that she was dressed and trying to stop the tears from spilling.

_Unless you had sex with your clothes on,_ she told herself. It wouldn't have been the first time, however, after making sure that she was wearing her underwear, she discarded that a little calmer now, she wiped her moist eyes and took in deep and calming breaths. _Then what the hell am I doing in Severus' bed?_ She wondered as she looked around and wondered where Severus was and what the hell had happened.

_I left Matt and Pam alone and came back to the castle alone with the rest of the school... came back into the castle under the disillusionment charm so that no one would see that I was drunk,_ she thought to herself as she strained to think about what had happened. She was actually surprised that she could remember as much as she did considering the state that she had been in. Feeling herself blush as she continued to recall would had occurred, she recalled that she had passed out near the entrance and had woken hours later, when the castle had been all dark.

However, beyond that point, everything was rather blurry. She recalled getting up and stumbling through the darkness into someone's arms, but beyond that everything seemed rather dream-like. Only very blearily did she recall someone pouring something down her throat and removing her shoes and thigh-highs. Furrowing her brow, she looked over the side of the bed to see that they had been carelessly dropped over the side of the bed. _Did he do that? _She wondered with a furrowed brow as she removed the covers from her body.

Shivering in the cold, she sat on the edge of the bed and proceeded to dress. However, as she was about to put on the shoes, she wondered if she should simply transfigure her clothes into something more comfortable. _Where is my wand?_ She suddenly wondered in panic as she found that it had not been with her discarded clothes. Casting a look towards the nightstand next to Severus bed, she found that it wasn't there. Really starting to panic, she got to her feet an checked the bed, frantically removing the coverlet.

Sighing in relief, she caught sight of her cherry-wood wand on the bed. Picking it up, she pointed it at her costume and turned it into long, warm robes. She then turned her stalkings into sensible socks and her shoes into soft flats. Feeling more comfortable, she stowed her wand into her robes pocket and summoned her courage to go looking for Severus, as she was sure that he wouldn't be too happy about the state that he had found her in.

She didn't have to look far for as soon as she had exited his room, she spotted him laying down on his leather couch in his living room. Grimacing, she noted that he didn't look very comfortable as he was frowning deeply in his sleep and her heart went out to him. Walking silently over to the couch, she reached out to touch him, but stopped herself in the crucial moment, her hand only inches away from his shoulder. _You have to go on being indifferent to him, just as you have been lately, _she told herself as she straightened up once more.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she gathered up all her emotions and tried to make herself be angry with him. It was something slightly difficult to do after waking up in his bed, and being reminded of all the times that they had made love to each other in it. In fact, she felt all the pain of knowing that she still loved him and even felt her eyes tear up briefly at how much she missed being with him. _But when you wake him he's going to be a dick, you know that_, she told herself as she thought of what an asshole he could be. Turning her gaze away and glaring at an inanimate object, she cleared her throat loudly.

Out of her peripheral vision, she watched him sit up very rapidly. She didn't bother to turn and look at him as she could already feel him glaring at her. "I suppose you want to yell at me for being stupid and getting drunk," she stated coldly as she turned away from him. However, she could feel her heart thundering in her chest in trepidation.

For a moment, Severus didn't say anything as he smoothed down his hair and tried to gather his thoughts. Considering the fact that he had a couple drinks and that he hadn't slept very well or from the looks of it for very long, his head was throbbing slightly. Yelling was not an option at the moment, though he very much wished to. "I know you're idiot friends are in the Three-Broomsticks and I supposed I should wait until we have gathered them so that I could yell at the three of you. However...I can't believe how stupid you can be. I know you are of age to do as you please, but how could you let yourself get in such a condition when the castle is surrounded by Dementors and a murderous lunatic is on the lose?" he said coldly in a low and murderous tone.

"I know it was stupid, but I came back to school with everyone else. I was under the disillusionment charm so no one saw me. I passed out inside the school. I wasn't in any danger of the Dementors or Sirius Black," Jadis said as she still refused to look at him and continued to glare at the wall. However, she was relieved that he wasn't yelling, though she could tell by the tone that he was using that he was rather livid with her.

"Not in danger?" Severus hissed angrily as he turned to glare at Jadis who had shut her mouth and was clenching her teeth. "Did you realize that Black was in the castle last night? That he tried to break into Gryffindor, and that all the students spent the night in the Great Hall?" he asked, causing her to furrow her brow and turn to look at him.

"What? How did he get in past the Dementors?" she asked as she uncrossed her arms and looked into Severus eyes. Severus didn't say anything as he stood up and turned away from her.

"I should expel the three of you," he murmured to himself as he rubbed his temples.

Jadis felt her heart thundering, however, she forced herself to remain calm and think rationally. "You can't do that. You'd have to explain what I was doing in your bedroom if you did. But you decided to hide me, meaning that no one even knows that we were missing so you can't even punish us for what we did," Jadis said angrily as she glared at him. She didn't care that they had been stupid and broke then rules, she was not about to allow him to ruin either Matt and Pam's lives. She didn't care if he expelled her, she didn't particularly care about her future, however, she cared enough about her friends.

"I know that!" he barked as he rounded on her, though he regretted it as it made his head throb all the more painfully. "Obviously I am not going to, but I warn you Jadis if you or your idiot friends ever do something this stupid again I will not hesitate to expel you," he growled as he glared at her. Jadis merely nodded. However, she then turned and the door of his private quarters without so much as another glance at him, she didn't want to be around him anymore. She was exhausted and she just wanted to be alone. "Under what name was the room reserved Jadis? I need to go gather your idiot friends, or else they won't be able to get back into the school."

Jadis stopped just as she had reached his door. She paused for a moment there. "Matt had it reserved under his father's name," Jadis replied, with her hand on the handle of the door. Knowing that Severus already knew Matt's father's name, she proceeded to exit the room feeling tears welling up in her eyes as she wondered how things could have changed do drastically between them and wondering when the heartache was going to end.

**TBC...**

**A/n: **Sorry about the long wait, but I hope that you all enjoyed it. And hey look its just in time for Halloween, my favorite holiday. Anyway, please leave a review and tell me your thoughts. Have a happy and over all safe Halloween!**  
**


	15. Nail For Your Coffin

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 15: A Nail For Your Coffin**_

Jadis lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling and carefully listening to her dorm-mates as some of them got up and got ready to go down to breakfast, meanwhile chattering about the weekend that had just passed. Curled up at the end of her bed, Neji lay asleep, though he was purring slightly and causing it to be a little difficult to hear the girls. However, try as she might to focus on the sounds around her, it was hard not to think about Halloween and wondering about what Matt said on Sunday about Snape being awesome for not punishing them all.

Sufficed to say that after that, Jadis spent the rest of the weekend away from her friends and curled up in bed with her cat. However, she could not stop wondering about why Severus had done that neither could she stop thinking of all that they had had together. Why had he covered for her like that by not letting anyone know that they were missing? Why had taken her to his private quarters? Why not simply let the other Professor's become aware of the situation and expel her? Was it possible that he didn't want her out of his life just yet? _Does he still love me?_

Jadis rubbed her face with her hand at this, wishing that her mind would just turn off, that she could stop thinking about him. Unfortunately she had used her right hand to rub her face, and the feel of the silk ribbon tied around it rubbing against her skin was another painful reminder. Pulling her hand away from her face and holding it out before her, she hastily proceeded to unwrap it. It slowly slid down her arm and fell away, and she then stared at the marking on the palm of her hand.

_The marking of true loves first kiss, _she thought to herself with tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn't recall how she had come across the ancient charm. Though, she thought that it was perhaps in History of Magics at the beginning of her sixth year. Hadn't they studied the ancient rituals of marriage and the Memory Engravement charm been how women had been betrothed in the past? Or perhaps she had come across it when doing research on one of her assignments for that class?

She really couldn't recall anymore and she supposed that it really didn't matter. What mattered was that she had found the charm and performed it. Now, staring at the white lips engraved on her palm, she tried desperately to remember what exactly she had read about the charm. _Does the marking remain forever, or does it fade when love fades? _She asked as tears welled up in her eyes as she recalled the way he had gently held her hand and placed a kiss on it, as though it meant the world to him to touch her skin.

Jadis closed her eyes trying to block out the memory as she felt the moisture on her cheek. _Jadis, you have to get a grip. Herbology is going to start in about fifteen minutes. If you don't get a hold of yourself, you won't be able to go,_ she told herself angrily as she sat up and wiped the moisture from her eyes. Grabbing the silk ribbon, she then proceeded to rewrap her right hand. Though, she was becoming aware that the questions in her head, were not going to stop plaguing her until she had answers. She needed to why Snape said had stopped loving her so suddenly, though she had the feeling that he was lying and still loved her. And if that was true, she wanted to know why he had broken her hear the way that he did, why he had lied to her, why he had ended things.

_All right, Ill head to the library and look for the book I found the charm in. If it turns out that it remains only as long as that person's love does, than Severus has a lot of explaining to do,_ she thought as she pulled the emerald green curtains away. Casting a brief look around the dorm to find that she was alone, she smiled to herself in relief and got up. She quickly got ready for class. However, before putting on her robe, she unwrapped the ribbon from around her left forearm. There was still something that she had to do before she could feel sufficiently stable to deal with the emotional turmoil.

X_X

For the next couple days, while the whole school talked of nothing but the break in of Sirius Black, Jadis spent all her spare time in the library, looking for the book she desperately needed. However, when she found it and got her answer, she didn't have the courage to approach Severus. She avoided her friends, and much to her chagrin, she had no other distractions. When she showed up to her Defense Against the Dark Arts class on Tuesday, she was sorely disappointed to see a note on the classroom door that stated that Professor Lupin was filling too ill to teach. When she showed up to class on Friday with the hope that he was feeling better, she was more than sorely disappointed when she stepped into his class.

The man that turned to see her from the font of the class was not the mild manned and charming man that she had expected. Instead of a pair of warm brown eyes smiling at her, her eyes clashed with a dark pair that suddenly scowled at her and caused the smile that she had previously been sporting to disappear. Ducking her head, Jadis made a beeline for her seat behind Matt and Pam, who she was barely able to mutter a quiet hello to.

Apparently, she was not the only one that was startled by Snape's presence at the front of the their Defense class. As the rest of her classmates spilled in, a sudden clatter arose amongst them about Lupin's mysterious absence, and about Snape apparently subbing for him. However, Jadis was not at all interested in _that_ conversation or having any other with her friends, least not under Snape's hooked nose. Instead, she had pulled out her Defense book and buried her nose in it. _As though it isn't bad enough I had him for double Potions this morning, now I have to stand him in Defense as well?_

However, as much as she wanted to avoid having to look at Severus for as long as was possible, it was inevitable that he would soon have to start class. "As you may have realized, Professor Lupin has been feeling too ill to teach and so I will be subbing for him today," he went on saying after snapping at them to settle down, his eyes gazing across the sea of faces looking up at him with a sneer. However, he purposefully avoided looking at his Slytherins. "Unfortunately Professor Lupin is quite disorganized and left no instructions, nor lessons plans for me, and so today we will be studying Occlumency. Can anyone tell me what Occlumency is?"

Jadis found herself narrowing her eyes as he looked around with a grin of satisfaction on his face and couldn't help glaring at Severus. She felt slightly angry with him for insulting Professor Lupin, who in her opinion had been the best damn Defense Professor they had ever had. Also, she felt irritated that he was asking a question that he knew that no one knew the answer to and was smugly expecting to insult all of their intelligences further. It was a tactic he often used in his classes, and while once she had been amused by it because she always knew the answers to all of the questions that he posed, this particular moment wasn't one of them.

"No one knows?" Severus asked with a raised brow, though he could not hide the smug smile on his face. "What has Lupin been teaching you for the past two months?" he asked as he looked around, however, the question was merely hypothetical. However, Jadis couldn't really stand it anymore. She wasn't sure what exactly Severus was doing that was making her so angry considering she had seen him do it a million times before and had been amused by it, but somehow she felt this all too personal. _And __as if he has any room to speak, he never teaches either! And intimidating students who aren't doing well hardly inspires any confidence in them to improve!_

"Considering the fact that we have had seven different Professors for Defense, and we are therefore considerably behind in the subject, I think Professor Lupin has done admirably well," Jadis said as she forced a polite smile on her face as Severus snapped his gaze to glare at her, as he heard several students laugh and call out their approval. He'd have perhaps expected this from a Gryffindor, however, not from one of his own Slytherins and especially not from Jadis. Yes, he'd been aware that she was angry with him, but he was sure that she was also going through a lot of trouble to avoid him. He was shocked to hear her speak out against him, however, he was more angered by the fact that she was defending the werewolf.

"Silence," Severus called out as he glared the scattered groups of Gryffindors and Ravenclaws who agreed with Jadis. Severus grit his teeth as he then turned to once more look at her. "Thank you sharing your opinion Miss Luna, but I don't recall asking for it. Furthermore, you will refrain from calling out like that and wait to be called on before speaking," Severus said coldly through clenched teeth as he turned to look at the rest of the class to continue, as she had slightly disconcerted him.

Jadis glared at Severus, however, she didn't say anything as Matt turned in his seat and mouthed to her _'_What the hell is wrong with you?!' Jadis merely rolled her eyes. She supposed that for the sake of appearances, she had to pretend to be the typical Slytherin and approve of everything that her Head of House did. However, as Severus went on explaining to them what Occlumency was, she found herself wondering why she was bothering. _What do I care if people think its weird that I am disrespecting my Head of House? Why should I pretend for his sake that nothing ever happened between us? What do I care if anyone knows I had an affair with him?_

However, despite how angry she was, however much she might at times feel that she hated Severus for hurting her, she knew that she couldn't destroy his life. She knew that she didn't have it in her to expose what they had, ruin his career, and possibly have him sent to Azkaban. "Are you trying to fall out of grace with our Head of House?" she heard a whisper next to her. Gritting her teeth as she knew it could only be Velma talking to her, she turned to look at her and looked at her quizzically before grimacing to see the pleased smile on Velma's face. "You know for years I have had to put up with you being Snape's precious favorite, of not being able to do anything to you because he'd be your great protector, but what are you going to do now that that's over?"

Jadis furrowed her brow, wondering what on earth Velma was taking about. _Does she know that Severus and I were together? _However, she shook her head at this. It was impossible. Velma was simply talking about her being Snape's favorite student, and it wasn't as though all the seventh years hadn't always believed that. Snape had rarely given her detention when she deserved it and had always helped her weasel out of it when it was given to her by other Professors. Although, of course things had changed now and that was what Velma was referring to.

"Velma, I don't know what your problem is with me, but I can assure you that you can't do whatever you please," Jadis whispered back as she turned her gaze to the front of the class. She didn't know what Severus was talking about, and she didn't really care. But she supposed staring blankly forward was better than carrying on a conversation with Velma, who had been leaving her alone for the most part recently.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that Jadis," Velma said, with a small giggle to herself that sounded quite evil. Jadis shivered as she recalled the threat that Velma had made against her only a month ago and wondering if Velma was all full of talk, or if she really was planning something against her. Not wanting to think about it, she tried to focus on Severus. However, she had been so distracted that when she turned to look up at him, she found that his eyes were looking right at her. Feeling her own widen in surprise and her heart begin to thunder, she looked around to see that everyone in the classroom was staring at her.

"I'm sorry sir, did you ask me something?" she asked as her cheeks started to flush lightly. He'd never before called on her like this. The only time he had ever called on her was when she was raising her hand in his class, because he knew she would know the answer. Now it seemed that she had become one of his victims, one of the poor kids that he would prey on because he knew that they would fail and he could embarrass them in front of everyone else. It was not a good place to be in and she felt her stomach churn as he smiled in that predatory way of his.

"I said, seeing as you are so anxious to volunteer your opinion, that you wouldn't mind volunteering and being the first to try and block your mind," he replied as his eyes narrowed on her. In the past, Severus had never used Legillemency against Jadis, as he had always respected her and trusted that she never lied to him. Neither had he ever wished to abuse her privacy. However, things had changed. Lately, the Jadis that stared back at him from those large, beautiful, dark eyes, was not the Jadis that always succumbed to him. Something was changing within her, and this was the perfect opportunity to find out what that was without having to abuse her privacy as he was forewarning her what he was going to do.

Jadis felt her mouth grow dry as she looked up at him. _Block my mind? Does that mean he is going to try and read my thoughts?_ She wondered to herself in horror as her mind flashed through the things Severus could never know about. While she had disclosed to him all her miserable loneliness of her entire life, she had NEVER let him know that she cut herself. Neither had she ever let him see just how deeply wounded the lack of love from her parents had left her. And as she called the events of the first two months of school, most especially the kiss that she had shared with Professor Lupin on her birthday, she felt a deep trepidation settle into her. _He can't see that!_

Frantically, her mind started to spin, trying to find a solution out of this. Averting her gaze, she scratched her neck as her heart started to pound very painfully against her chest. She hadn't heard anything that he had said, so she had no idea what exactly what he was going to do to her, and she had no idea how to try and stop him, Actually, one thing came immediately to mind and she could feel her insides tremble in terror of it. "I'm sorry Professor, but the idea of you being anywhere near my mind inspires... disgust," Jadis said in a low voice as she shivered.

At that moment, the classroom went dead silent as the entire class gasped and then held its breath, as though afraid that exhaling would cause an explosion. Everyone, stared in shock at Snape or at Jadis, but unable to look back and forth as they didn't want to cause any movements and gain Snape's attention. Jadis on the other hand had clamped her eyes on Severus, afraid to see what was coming, but more afraid of looking away. At first he was shocked and almost looked hurt, however, that had quickly vanished. It had been almost imperceptible and now he had clenched his jaw, the muscle of his cheek working furiously while the vein in his temple started to throb and his face flushed blotchy red.

"Everyone get out, except you Jadis," he hissed lowly as everyone, including Jadis jumped to their feet. A couple people shot worried glances at the poor Slytherin, and Matt gave her a look as though he thought she had gone off her rocker, but they were all quick to rush out of the classroom. Jadis felt her heart pounding hard in her chest while she struggled to remain calm. She was trying desperately hard to control her breathing as she watched Severus, who was immobile and would not remove his eyes from glaring at her.

When she heard the sound of the last person exit the class and shut the door behind themselves, which had been almost imperceptible due to the sound of blood rushing in her ears, she felt panic arise in her once more. She knew that had not been the best way to stop Severus, but it was the only thing that she could think of and she felt somehow that this would be better than him finding out that she cut herself.

Jadis flinched when she saw Severus whip out his wand, however, he pointed it towards the door and then to the classroom. Recognizing these movements, she knew that he was locking the door and putting silencing charms up, as he had done it many times in the past when they were alone so that they could make love without getting caught. Though, that was not the case this time. "I have had enough of your impertinence. You think that you can do whatever you bloody hell feel like because you can hold what we had in the past over my head all the time?" he barked at her as he strode forward and grabbed her by the arm, dragging her out from behind the desk, not having a hard time of it as she didn't pose any resistance.

"You lied to me," she suddenly said, causing him to stop and turned to look at her with a furrowed brow as he barked at her _what?_ Jadis bit on her lip and pulled her arm from his grasp, tears flooding her eyes with what she knew to be certain. "I looked up the charm, if you stopped loving me like you said you did, it would have faded," Jadis said as she unwrapped her hand and thrust it under his nose. Looking up into his eyes through the tears in her own, she glared at him and frowned. "Why did you lie to me? Why did you break my heart? Why did you make me believe that you stopped loving me from one day to the next?" she demanded, the end coming out as a hysterical yell as the sobs broke through and made her double over with the pain and the shame of it all as she hugged her sides.

Severus stared and watched Jadis in horror, mixed with pain. It pained him to see someone that he loved, someone he'd thought was strong, break like this and more so because it was his fault. For a moment, he watched as she trembled with the tears that shook her entire body. Stepping forward when he couldn't take it anymore, he placed a hand on her shoulder to try and calm her, try to comfort her, but she smacked his hand away and straightened up. "Tell me why Severus? Why did you do this to me? Why did you hurt me if you loved me? Why did you push me away? Why did you lie?" she yelled at the top of her longs.

Severus stared at her red rimmed eyes. He hardly recognized the girl that now stood before him, shrieking like a banshee while sobbing and he couldn't stop blaming himself for doing it to her. Turning away from her, he wondered if telling her the truth would help matters. However, he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to admit it to her. However, as he turned around and saw what he had done to the beautiful creature that now looked pale and ghostly, he couldn't deny her the truth. Not if it was what she wanted, however, he hoped that it wouldn't hurt her more.

"I did it because it was the best for you," Severus said as he stared at her. She turned to look at him, clamping her mouth shut and forcing the sobs to stop. For a moment, she looked and him blankly, pleading for him to continue and explain what he meant as she didn't understand. However, at the same time, she was trying desperately to get air in her lungs. It was getting hard to breathe because all the tears and sobs were obstructing her airways, and she felt herself becoming light headed. "Because I can't love you the way that you deserve. Because I am.... have always been..."

Jadis watched him as he stopped. She could see that he was struggling with the words, that he couldn't bring himself to tell her and she felt she was dying as the seconds passed. She felt as though she were standing on a precipice, leaning towards something out of reach and wishing to grasp it, but something was roped around her neck, holding her back and not allowing her to reach it. "Please Severus," she gasped as she leaned towards him, holding her hands to her chest as she stared at him. It hurt her pride to beg him, but it hurt more not to know.

"I have always been in love with someone else," he replied barely audibly, causing Jadis eyes to widen and her to lean back, away from him as she blinked. Suddenly, she felt she had slipped off the precipice, and the noose had tightened around her neck, snapping it and ending her whole life, her hopes, her dreams. She felt her heart fail her. She felt as though she had been shot through the heart, or as though someone had thrown an Avada at her. She was caught off guard and by surprise, and now she could not breath. _How could knowing the truth, be as bad or perhaps worse than the lie? I thought the truth was supposed to set you free._

Turning around, Jadis made her way towards the door. It was astounding that through the pain she should have felt, she felt nothing. She felt as though she were truly dead. _The walking dead,_ she thought to herself as she headed towards the door. She still could not feel her heart, she could not breath either. As she walked through the now empty halls, thinking that perhaps everyone was probably in the Great Hall for dinner, she wondered when she would feel again, and how much worse it would be.

For the moment she was apart from the world, less than a ghost walking through it. She couldn't hear Severus calling her name. Awareness was slipping away. She didn't see the halls, she didn't feel the stairs, she didn't feel the bumps and bruises that came with falling, she didn't hear the footsteps, and even the blackness that surrounded her was worse than empty, worse than cold, worse than heartless. The blackness had a heart, and it beat and pulsed with life and love... it just wasn't for her, it never would be and she understood that now.

X_X

When Jadis awoke, it was like waking into a nightmare that was never going to end. And though her entire body was in pain, it did nothing to nullify the pain in her chest. As consciousness slipped in and she realized that she was in the Hospital Wing with no recollection of how she had come to be there, she found his words repeating themselves over and over in her head. They wanted to do more than they had done so far, they were going to run her into the ground and six feet under. "Oh you're awake, finally!" Jadis groaned as she turned to her right to see Matt standing there.

"Why am I here? What happened?" she asked, as she forced all the thoughts whirling in her head away. Her throat hurt from crying, and suddenly she was attacked with the embarrassment of how she had behaved around him. _Melin, I cried in front of him,_ she thought in horror that once more he had seen her at her weakest. However, there were no more tears to be spared and none that could be in front of Matt and Pam, who was also there.

"You fell down some stairs, been here since yesterday. I guess it was quite the spill, rolled down three flights of stairs. You look like one big bruise," Matt said as he stared at his friend. However, then a grin spread across his face as he wiggled his brows at her. "Or maybe Professor Snape threw you down the stairs, you'd deserve it after what you said to him yesterday in class."

Jadis grimaced to be reminded of him. She wished that Severus Snape could be eaten up whole by the earth so that she would never have to hear him or see him again. However, then she thought better of it and hoped that it was she who was in oblivion. Then she wouldn't have to feel or be reminded of him. "Who brought me to the Hospital Wing?" she asked as she turned to look over at her friend, though she wanted him and the rest of the world to disappear. At the moment she wasn't in the mood for anyone.

"Who else? Professor Snape. He told Madam Pomfrey that he was yelling at you and that you ran off and fell down the stairs," Matt explained as he sat on the edge of her bed. _Right, that's what we were doing,_ she thought sarcastically to herself. She recalled everything perfectly well... or at least up to the moment he had said those words that had shattered her whole existence. Shifting in the bed so that she could sit up, she groaned at the pain she felt all over her body. She _did _ feel like one giant bruise, and the more she moved, the more it hurt all over, but the more it hurt all over, the less she was capable of thinking of him and feeling her love for him.

"What are you guys doing here then, isn't Gryffindor playing Hufflepuff today?" Jadis asked. Matt and Pam were surprisingly big Quidditch enthusiast. Jadis on the other hand, she didn't care much for watching the sport. She would much rather play it. However, Flint wouldn't allow any girls on the team. He'd said that so long as he was captain, there wouldn't be a girl playing in the Slytherin team, which was why Jadis hated him and couldn't stand to watch the games and not be able to be a part of them.

"Yeah," Matt said, trying not to sound or look disappointed that he was missing it, however, Jadis could see that he was antsy to go down to the pitch and see a part of it. Looking towards the windows, Jadis grimaced to see the way that it was pouring outside. However, she had no desire to go see the game. All she wanted was to be alone. Turning to look at Matt and Pam, she convinced them to go see the game, that she would be fine. As soon as they were gone, she proceeded to get up and pester Madam Pomfrey by following her alone and trying to get her to release her. When she had, Jadis happily retreated to Slytherin to lick her wounds.

However, when she reached the dungeons, she had the displeasure of running into Snape. For a moment, she stopped in her very slow progress. However, after adjusting to the sight of him, she walked towards him. His reaction, wasn't much different. "How are you feeling?" he asked as he stared at her with some mild concern in his eyes.

Jadis lifted her chin and looked him square in the eyes as she stood before him. "Like you care," Jadis said coldly as she stared at him.

"Jadis I-"

Jadis raised her hand as she looked down at the floor. "I DON'T," she said loudly, being over-taken by the anger and pain that she felt as her voice cracked. Pausing for a moment, she stared at the floor and tried to regain some sense of decorum. Looking up at him, she exhaled. "I don't want to hear anymore of your lies. And as of this moment, I am withdrawing from your class. I don't want to see you or deal with you anymore than is necessary," she said more calmly and coldly, before stepping around him and walking towards Slytheirn.

Severus turned slightly and watched her depart. By the way she walked, he could see that she was in a tremendous amount of pain, however, he supposed that she hardly felt it. It couldn't compared to carrying on with life with with a broken heart. He knew that all too well. He had done it and lived with it most of his life, something that had never been simple or would ever be. He just hoped that Jadis didn't shut herself off the way he had. The way he continued to. She deserved so much more than that. He on the other hand....

**TBC...**

**A/n:** I didn't feel like editing, I mean I have but I usually edit several times because I absolutely suck at it. But I didn't this time so there might be more mistakes than usual... I don't know. Anyway I hope that you still found the chapter interesting. Please Review.**  
**


	16. The Return of Remus

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 16: The Return of Remus**_

Remus had a lot on his mind the first week back, not only all the work that he was backed up on and the break in of Sirius Black, but also all the complaints his students had from the few classes that Severus had subbed. He'd meant to speak to Severus about it, but the Potions Master was being elusive and seemed to be in a worse mood than usual. However, he supposed that he really wouldn't be able to put it off for too long. He had to speak to him before the following Monday.

Having resolved his mind to speak to Severus, Remus paused outside of his classroom. Today would be his first class with the seventh years, meaning today was the first day that he would see Jadis since Halloween. Now with his senses dull and with feeling so tired from the transformation, he was a little less weary of being around her. However, he was having a hard time not recalling the way she had looked on Halloween. In fact, he had not been able to stop thinking of it, becoming a bit of a painful problem for him in the past couple days.

Sighing, he knew that he could not postpone it any longer and opening his classroom door, he walked inside. He was relieved to see that for but a couple Gryffindors, the classroom was nearly empty. "Good morning Oliver, Christopher, Ashley," Remus greeted with a mild smile as he headed towards the front of the class.

"Good morning Professor Lupin," the three Gryffindors chorused as they turned to look at him. "Thank Merlin you're back, I was afraid we would have Professor Snape again," Ashley, who was Christopher's paternal twin, said as her blue eyes followed him. Her eyes clouded over with mild concern to see that he looked slightly thinner and much paler than usual. He also looked rather tired.

"Yes... I have had a few complaints about Professor Snape from some of my other classes. How was he with yours?" Remus asked as he stared at them with a very small frown on his face. He hadn't been very pleased about the complaints and wished that he hadn't been gone for as long as he had. If he would have known what Severus was going to do, he probably would have forced himself to teach, though he didn't look or feel up to it.

"He didn't have an opportunity to be as bad as he could have been. He kicked us all out early, except for Jadis," Oliver supplied from his seat behind the twins. Remus turned his gaze over to the oddly somber Quidditch captain. Remus supposed that the boy was still disappointed by Gryffindor's loss on Saturday's match to Hufflepuff. However, Remus was more concerned about the end of his statement than he was about the boy's emotional status.

"He did? Why?" Remus asked, causing Ashley to recount rapidly what had occurred on last Friday's lesson. Remus felt his brow only become furthered furrowed as he listened while he felt something sinking in his stomach. _Why would Jadis do that?_ He wondered when Ashley had finished. He couldn't account for Jadis crossing the line like that, especially not with her Head of House. Remus simply could not wrap his mind around it.

"It was actually very strange as Jadis has always been one of Professor Snape's idolizers and she was always his precious favorite. He used to let her get away with everything," Ashley went on, her voice becoming a little bitter towards the end. Remus nodded at this as he recalled that Matt had once said something about that. However, he also recalled Jadis mentioning that things had changed. It made him wonder what had caused the radical change. "Everyone is saying that Snape threw her down the stairs on Friday, 'cause of what she said."

"That's just a rumor Ashley," Christopher suddenly said. Remus turned to look at the blonde-haired boy, who he'd never heard say a word before with a look of surprise. Especially as the boy sounded very irritated with his sister.

In response, Ashley turned and glared at her brother. "Oh you think its only a coincidence that on the day she insults him, just after they were alone together, Jadis is taken by Snape to the hospital wing for falling down the stairs? When have you ever known Jadis to be clumsy like that?" Ashley snapped at her brother. Remus was getting the distinct impression that the twins didn't exactly get along, though he found that to be rather strange considering he always saw them together.

However, Remus wasn't really thinking about that. Instead he was thinking about what Ashley was saying. It sounded ludicrous that any teacher would do that kind of harm to a students. However, knowing Severus as he did and knowing what a temper he had, he wasn't exactly sure he could say that Severus would never do such a thing to a student. In fact, he felt his stomach churning in the uncertainty that Severus would commit such a violence against a student, and not just any student, Jadis. It really wasn't very hard to picture, especially not when considering what Jadis had said and the fact that she had said it in a class full of students, but he hoped that Ashely was just exaggerating matters. "Jadis is really in the hospital wing?"

"She was, but by the time Harry was taken to the Hospital Wing she left. The quidditch team saw her leaving," Oliver stated. Remus nodded. He was not sure how he felt, but he knew he was very worried about Jadis. And he wasn't sure why, but his instincts were telling him that there was something to the behavior of Jadis towards Severus and perhaps vice versa. It just seemed that whatever Jadis suddenly had against her Head of House was personal, which was odd considering that there was not supposed to be anything particularly personal about the relationship between a student and professor. "But Jadis is more tolerable now that she seems to be rebelling against Professor Snape."

Remus didn't say anything in response to this, but thanked them and walked away as more students started to file into the class. Standing at the head of the class, he watched somewhat anxiously for the appearance of Jadis. He wanted to make sure that she was all right. However, when he saw Matt and Pam enter alone, he grew tired of waiting. Heading over towards where their seats where, he smiled as best he could towards them and greeted them. "Where is Jadis?" he asked them, before either one had a chance to return his greeting or say anything else to him.

"She is in the hospital wing again," Pam responded in her small voice. Remus furrowed his brow at this. He'd thought they'd said she had been released. However, then he realized that Pam had said _again_. "She burned the palm of her hand in Herbology yesterday when handling some plant. Madam Pomfrey won't release her until her hand has fully healed."

Nodding his head in response, Remus sighed. This wasn't news he'd expected or wanted as he didn't feel any less worried about Jadis."I wouldn't worry about it if I were you Professor Lupin, Jadis is a bit off her rocker lately, more so than usual. The break will do her some good," Matt said as he took his seat and got comfortable. Remus turned to him and gave him an uneasy smile. Turning around and thinking that there was nothing that he could do, Remus made his way to the front of the class and prepared for a long lesson, without Jadis.

X_X

Jadis spent much of the rest of the week in and out of the Hospital Wing. Every time she was released, she found some way to damage her right hand, and had to return. She was sick of seeing the kiss on the palm of her hand and wanted to get rid of it. However, every time she healed, there was the painful reminder. None of the ways that she had tried had worked, and when she was released once more from the Hospital Wing on Friday, she decided that it was useless to keep trying. _I obviously performed the charm wrong because he never loved me. And now its going to be there forever._

She'd been trying not to think too much lately. However, she at times felt that she was back at square one. Most days she needed to cut herself to feel that she was stable, and that was usually because she was caught up thinking about the fact that he'd been in love with someone else, and never with her. She felt that everything that they had was a lie and she couldn't believe that he had ever felt anything for her. However, she felt at times more angry than hurt.

Shaking her head, Jadis made her way towards Defense Against the Dark Arts. She supposed she would be early, but she didn't care. She was just happy that she didn't have to go to Potions anymore. Though, she was disappointed she could no longer pursue the subject as she had intended to from the beginning of the school year. It made her feel like such a failure. Clearly, she was completely unable to function with a broken heart and could not separate one part of her life, from the other. The way that he could. The way it seemed the whole world was capable of, but her.

Stopping outside of class, Jadis groaned at the sight of the Head Boy and Girl standing there. "Jadis, is it true Professor Snape kicked you out of Potions?" Penelope Clearwater said just as Professor Lupin opened the door to allow the class he had been teaching to leave. Jadis stood aside to allow the flow of third years to pass her by, and gazed across the top of their heads towards the Head Girl, who'd she'd never really talked to. She was rather surprised that Penelope asked, as she had never struck Jadis as the type of girl to gossip. And there was no malice in the way she had asked.... just a gentile curiosity that struck her as odd. _Since when does the Head Girl care about anything I do... even if its just concerning my studies?_

"Did he say that to the class?" Jadis asked as her eyes clouded with mild anger. _Why does everything and everyone always remind me of HIM! _Penelope merely nodded in response. _Of course he did. It is in his convenience to tell everyone that _that_ was _his _idea. _"Well then, what are you asking me for?" Jadis asked irritably. Despite the anger that she felt, she was aware that it was better this way. At least this way people would think that being permanently kicked out of potions was the repercussion for what she had said on Friday. Also, perhaps this would put an end to the rumors that everyone was passing around that Snape had thrown her down the stairs, though a part of her was secretly amused by them.

"You don't have to get offended, Jadis, I didn't mean any harm. I was just asking because I wanted to know if you were going to keep your Potions materials, seeing as you don't really need them anymore," Penelope said softly, causing Jadis and Percy to both furrow their brows. What did Penelope care about that for? She was a pureblood with enough money that she didn't need anything from anyone secondhand. However, Jadis then noted the way that Penelope was looking at her pointedly, while leaning her head towards Lupin. Then she recalled that when they were fifth years, Penelope had been one of her most frequent costumers, much to Jadis' surprise.

"I am, but I don't intend to use them, at least not in the immediate future. But I will give you my notes if you want, so long as you agree to deal with any future demands that I have," Jadis replied. Penelope smiled uncertainly in response toward the Slytherin as Percy watched the exchange with an extremely puzzled expression. However, the conversation was over, as Lupin suddenly greeted them and allowed them to come into the class. Percy allowed Penelope to go first, but he extended no such similar courtesy to Jadis, who hadn't expected it as Percy had never particularly liked her. Jadis had intended to follow after them, but it seemed that Professor Lupin wanted a word with her and asked her aside.

"I heard what happened. I'm sorry Jadis, I know you were very interested in Potions. Is there any chance Professor Snape will reconsider?" Remus asked in concern. He hadn't been aware that Severus had removed her from his class until he'd overheard Penelope just say it. He supposed it could have been worse, that Severus could have expelled her.... or really have thrown her down the stairs, but he could see that Jadis wasn't happy about being thrown out of Potions either. She looked tired and quite unhappy, which made him wish that there was something he could to do bring a smile to her beautiful face.

"No, if you know Snape, you'd know that what I did was unforgivable and that I am lucky that he didn't," Jadis paused as she stared down at her feet as Remus crossed his arms over his chest. She didn't feel lucky. Her mouth was actually becoming dry with the lie that she was feeding him. In her opinion, for what Severus had done to her, he deserved so much more abuse, so that he could know the pain that she felt. However, she just wanted to forget it all, put it behind her. So she smiled up at Remus, though it pained her to. "Throw me down the stairs the way everyone seems to think that he did."

Remus smiled in turn, though he really didn't find that in the least bit funny. But at least now he had the certainty that Severus had done no such thing from Jadis' own mouth. Though, the contempt she had started her statement and something she had said made his stomach churn, reminding him that there was something quite off between Jadis and the way she spoke of her Head of House. However, he pushed these thoughts aside as he watched her smile, which made him feel a bit better. He was impressed that she could manage to smile. "Yes, I heard about that as well. It sounds like you have had a rough week," he said.

_You have no idea,_ Jadis thought to herself as an ironic smile spread across her face. It looked more natural and slightly bigger the previous one she bore. Looking up into his warm, amber eyes she suddenly noted how ill he looked and grew slightly concerned. "No offense Professor Lupin, but you look like you've had a rough week as well. Are you all right? You look very pale and tired," Jadis asked in deep concern and without meaning to, reached out a hand and placed it on his arm.

In response, Remus' body immediately tensed and his heartbeat accelerated. He felt the insides of his stomach become warm as he stared down into her concerned gaze. "I am fine, though my illness set me back on my grading and I have been trying to catch up. I have a lot of work to do before the holidays," Remus replied as he forced himself to look away from her eyes. His gaze wandered to the hand she had placed on his arm and tried not to think of the ache he'd felt and now realized was caused by his missing her. "Has your hand not healed?" he asked as he uncrossed his arms and grabbed the bandaged hand that she had placed there.

Jadis watched almost breathlessly as he turned her hand over and gently removed the bandages. Had she thought that he would be able to see the marking there, she would have snatched it away, but for the moment it was still too damaged for him to see it. So instead, she watched how his rough hands gently handled hers and the careful concern with which he inspected the damage that she had incurred.

She wasn't sure why, but she felt the temperature of her body rise and her hair stand on end as he handled her. She felt for some reason, her body coming alive with a new pulse that warmed and engulfed her whole being. Tearing her eyes away from their hands, she looked up at the deep concern written on his features. He looked almost pained by the damaged that he was seeing. As though his heart were breaking to see a home that he loved ravaged by war. "It's not as bad as it looks," she said in a low voice, not wanting him to worry about her.

Remus stared down at her hands. The palm and the base of some of her fingers were red. It looked as though all the skin had been removed, leaving crater-like, red welts. It looked angry, fresh and very painful. "These don't look like burns," he said as he continued to gaze at it. He had a very strong and crazy desire to kiss her palm, to make it disappear.

"They aren't. Its a corrosive potion, almost akin to sulfuric acid. I accidentally spilled some," Jadis replied. Remus nodded, however, reached into his pocket with one of his hands and pulled out a vial before very gently spreading it on her hand, causing Jadis to gasp. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked as he briefly looked up into her sparkling eyes. A slight hue of pink was rising in her pale cheeks as she gazed at him and shook her head.

She wasn't sure what it was, but feeling him trace his fingers across the surface of her palm, it made a shock spread through her body and sent shivers of pleasure through it as well. It was one of the most exquisitely delicious things she had ever felt. "You're very prepared. Do you always carry medicated salves on your person ,Professor Lupin?" Jadis teased, not wanting to think about what he had just done to her and wishing to put it far from her mind. However, the statement made her feel more like herself than she had in several weeks.

"I teach Defense to inexperienced students who are learning these things for the first time, an accident is bound to occur and I would like to be prepared," he responded with a smile as he gently re-wrapped her wounded hand. However, the full truth was that they were more for his own personal use than anyone else's. Fortunately, it made him not feel so useless at times like these. "I would tell you to be more careful, but I am sure you know that," Remus said as he finished and looked up into her eyes.

Jadis smiled in return and looked down at her feet. Sometimes, looking into his eyes took her breath away. She was not used to seeing so much warmth, so much sincerity in one pair of eyes. It gave her so much comfort, though she could not understand why. However, the sound of approaching footsteps caused a sudden disconnect, not only between their hands which regrettably parted and left them both aching at the loss as Remus stepped back, only just realizing that they were perhaps inappropriately close to each other.

"I should probably get to my seat," Jadis said as she adjusted her bag strap with her uninjured hand. Remus merely nodded as a few students walked by them and into the classroom, murmuring brief greetings to Professor Lupin who merely nodded at them. "I wish that I could help you catch up on your grading, but I am afraid with my trips to the Hospital wing, that there is quite a bit of work I have to catch up on myself," Jadis said, with a smile towards Professor Lupin, who felt touched by the warmth in her dark eyes and her offer.

"Jadis, that is quite fine. I wouldn't have dreamed of asking for your help, you have done so much for me already. Besides, I wouldn't want you to spoil me. After all, what will I do when you are gone?" he asked with a teasing smile of his own that almost shook her entire world. It wasn't his usual smile, the mild one that would make many girls hearts throb. This one was bigger, more mischievous, which made her want to melt into his arms, become one with him and never let go.

Not being able to find any words, Jadis merely nodded and walked into the class. She could hardly walk on her jelly legs as she went to her seat, wondering what was going on with her. She couldn't comprehend why he was making her feel like this. She didn't understand why he seemed to make her forget all her problems. It almost made her wish that she had him around all the time, so that she would never worry about anything and just bask in his warmth. Shaking her head, she wondered once more what was wrong with her as she turned to watch other people come into the class, amongst them were Matt and Pam.

"Any accidents today, Jadis?" Matt asked as he took up his seat before her. Lately, he could not understand what was wrong with her. In his opinion, she was losing it. Disrespecting Professor Snape, getting dropped from his class, and then becoming so accident prone? It was just not like her and it was kind of weirding him out. It was almost as though he didn't know her anymore and he was starting to miss the old Jadis. The one that was far too competent, but still managed to be very amusing.

"There was an incident, but it was all taken care of. I predict no more accidents in my near future," Jadis replied with a smile, as the end of her sentence she mimicked Professor Trelawney when she used that fake dreamy voice. Matt grinned in return, feelings his hopes rising that Jadis had put whatever was bothering her behind her.

X_X

_Jadis dropped the stethoscope that was looped around her neck before removing the nurses hat. Standing at the foot of a large bed, she slipped off her extremely tall heels and started crawling towards the head of the bed. A smile was playing on her face as she approached the sleeping figure that lay on one side of the bed. She couldn't exactly see who it was, as the person was laying there on their stomach with their head buried under a pillow. However, she could see it was pale man with many faint lines, much like old and faded scars, on his bare back._

_Pulling on the coverlet, which only covered the man from his lower-back down, she crawled underneath them and scooted her body closer to that of the figure laying there. Leaning over, she placed the palm of her cool hand against his hot skin and leaned over, placing kisses on the faint scars that were there. His back was pale, and though scarred, she loved his skin; it was irresistible ._

_Very slowly, the sleeping figure started to stir at the kisses she was placing on his bare and muscular back. A moan escaped the mans throat, causing Jadis to feel a shock of pleasure course through her. Leaning back slightly she smiled to see the man lift his head from beneath the pillow. For a moment, his wild and ruffled brown hair did not allow her to see his face._

"_Come here," he said softly as he lay on his back, his hair falling out of his face as he grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. A mischievous smile she so loved was spreading on his face and another thrilling shock ran through her._

Sitting up suddenly in bed, Jadis ran a hand over her face. _Was that Professor Lupin? _ She wondered as she internally groaned. _Not again_, she thought miserably as she thought what this could mean and that things shouldn't get anymore complicated.

**TBC...**

**A/n:** Hope that you all enjoyed the chapter. Please review!


	17. The Heart's Secret

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 17: The Heart's Secret**_

The week that followed was a bit more normal to Jadis' relief, despite the fact that she had more work to do than usual. However, she supposed that was all well and fine considering the fact that it gave her something to focus on instead of all the confusing things that were happening, that started to have less and less to do with the pain that she felt about Severus and more and more to do with Professor Lupin.

Lately, she was looking forward to Defense more than she had ever looked forward to any class, but for those with Severus. And every time she saw Professor Lupin, her stomach started to perform acrobats. The worst of it all were the dreams that she was having of him that she could not stop recalling and did not allow her to look at him without blushing. She wasn't sure what was going on, and she didn't want to acknowledge that something _was_ going on. However, he made her smile and for the moment that was sufficient explanation for the sudden changes that were happening.

Though, that did not mean she wanted to think on that either. Therefore, in order to distract herself, she decided to join Matt and Pam to the Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff game. Against her better judgment as she would perhaps only end up very angry. Especially as she rather loathed Cho Chang and Cedric Diggory. Personally it made her want to throttle Marcus Flint. She so desired to be on the team and reek havoc on their opponents. She could be as vicious as any one else on the Slytherin team, and she was sure that she would be far more qualified than some of the players on the team, such as Draco Malfoy who had yet to prove himself in her opinion.

That is how on the last weekend of November, she found herself in the Slytherin stands along with throngs of other students. _At least it isn't raining, _Jadis thought as she tried to pay attention to the game. Matt and Pam were rather hoping that Hufflepuff would win as it would leave Gryffindor out of the running.

However, the longer Jadis spent at the game, the angrier she became. She rather loathed Cedric Diggory. Not to mention that her eyes kept wandering towards the stands where the Professors were seated. Every time she looked into them she felt disappointment that Professor Lupin wasn't there,and she became angrier every time that she felt disappointment that Severus wasn't there either. Despite everything that happened, everything he had done to her, she couldn't understand why she wanted to see him.

It made her have to excuse herself with her preoccupied friends and quickly left the Slytherin stands. She hoped as she left that she had only desired to see him because she hardly saw him anymore. She was rather caught up in her thoughts as she crossed the grounds, angry with the entire day, that she didn't even notice when the air suddenly became chillier. She hadn't gotten terribly far, when all of the sudden she stopped as a shadow swept over her and caused her to shiver. Furrowing her brow, she slowly turned around and felt her eyes go wide to see that she'd been caught unawares by a Dementor.

All of a sudden, the anger she had felt completely dissipated and she was gripped with fear and a crushing sadness she'd always felt because her parents didn't love her, or even cared for her in the slightest. She couldn't think straight, and she was worried because she was too far from the castle for anyone to see her, and even though she wasn't too far from the Quidditch pitch, there wasn't anyway that they would hear her. The time to grasp her wand and cast a Patronous, had long passed her up and it wasn't long, before it's most devastating effect on her took place.

"_I have always been in love with someone else," _she heard, echoing in her head, the pain as fresh as it had been that day a few weeks ago. Her heart was stuttering once more to a stop. Her breathing suddenly became shallow and her vision before her blacked in and out. She found it near impossible to breath. Once more, she felt as though she were dying inside, her will to live completely evaporating. She felt very cold, and she shivered down to her bones. "_How can I make this any clearer to you? I don't love you anymore. You gave it up so easily, I lost all interest and respect for you. You have just been a good way to pass time! You mean nothing more and I have tired of you,"_ she heard the words, sneering at her coldly as tears ran down her face.

However, she could no longer keep her feet. She wobbled as she tried to stumble away from the Dementors. Her vision was still coming in and out, and the pain of it was unbearable. It was worst than dying, because she kept having to relive it, the pain multiplying almost exponentially. It felt like an eternity of nothing but heartache that stretched out before her and she couldn't even see the flash of light that passed her by as her knees finally gave out from beneath her.

Remus ran towards Jadis, aided by the fact that the full moon was almost upon him, and managed to reach her just as she was falling. Catching her in his arms, he kneeled down with her and held her close as her body began to tremble with sobs that reached him down to his core. His heart broke to hear her sobbing, and he ran his hands through her silky hair, wishing that he could vanish her pain away just as easily as he had the Dementor that had tormented her. However, all he could do was hold her in his arms.

Jadis shut her eyes tight and grasped onto the robes before her. Her mind was too muddled to think about the face she had seen, and who was holding her. She didn't care as she grasped the robes that covered his chest and sobbed into them, only vaguely aware of the warm arms wrapped around her body. She felt too broken to care about anything. Despite knowing that the Dementor's were gone, because she could no longer feel them, the words Severus said on those two occasions kept repeating themselves in her head.

"He never loved me, he always love someone else. I gave him everything I was, my mind, my body and my heart and he just used me," she sobbed, her voice cracking as the tears continued to race down her face. Remus furrowed his brow as he held her closer, almost pulling her into his lap. It seemed incredible that he had not realized before that all the sadness he'd sometimes seen in her eyes, stemmed from the fact that a man she had loved had broken her heart. It saddened him deeply. He could feel a sinking feeling in his stomach to know she'd given herself up to someone and was only used. "No one loves me," Jadis whispered, as her body continued to tremble.

Remus wasn't sure what to say to her. His heart was throbbing. He wanted so to be able to do something for her, to mend her heart, but there wasn't anything that he could think of that could do that. "He's an idiot if he can't see how wonderful you are. He's not worth your tears, or anything else from you, Jadis," he whispered softly. However, Jadis could barely hear the words. Her sobs had become quieter, and she wasn't sure if she could produce anymore tears. "He's a bastard to have used you like that. Men like_ that _are worthless_._"

"Severus isn't like that," Jadis whispered softly, as she shook her head fervently. She couldn't believe that she was defending him, but when she thought of their first time, how gentle he had been... he'd always been very gentle and loving. He'd always made love to her, it hadn't just been sex no matter what he may have said. It wasn't possible to fake _that_. And the sincerity that shown in his eyes when he kissed her palm, _that_ hadn't been an illusion. At one point in time, despite everything that he'd said to the contrary, he had to have loved her. His actions had showed that much at least. _Perhaps his love for me dried up, but it was once there, even if he did always love someone else._

Remus froze, his eyes widening as he held her. _Did she just say Severus?_ He wondered to himself as his heart thundered hard in his chest. _I couldn't have heard her correctly. But that isn't a common name, and there aren't any others that sound like that, _he argued with himself. Suddenly, everything seemed to fall into place and it all made sense to him. Why she seemed to loath Severus, her change in attitude towards her Head of House, the reason why Severus hadn't harmed her despite what she said to him in a class full of students. Without meaning to, Remus' grip tightened on Jadis as he thought of what she had said about him having just used her for is own pleasure. Anger flooded him, white hot and he could feel a feral growl building in his chest.

Feeling the person comforting her suddenly grip her tightly, Jadis felt her eyes widened. Finally, the pain had ebbed away as she had soothed herself and she was brought back to reality. It suddenly hit her that Professor Lupin was holding her, and that without meaning to she had said Severus' name. _That is quite a unique name, _she told herself as her eyes widened in horror at what she had just inadvertently done. Pulling away slightly though his arms still grasped her, she looked up to see the look on his face and she trembled at the sight. His amber eyes were clouded over, the look on his face was unlike anything she'd ever seen there before and it almost frightened her.

"Did... Did you hear-" Jadis couldn't bring herself to finish the question, and she knew she didn't have to, just as she really didn't need the answer. The grave and almost angry expression that had replaced the usually mild one he wore, was answer enough. She felt his arms drop away from her, and she straightened herself out. Very slowly, his amber eyes turned to look at her and she reeled to see just how steely they looked when before they had always been nothing but warm serenity. She was at a loss for what to say. She opened her mouth in the futile attempt to say something, but she didn't think that there was anything she could really say, and even if there were she couldn't think of it.

Remus on the other hand felt as though the battlements of Hogwarts had been dropped on him. As his eyes looked searchingly into her moist and tear-streaked face, a thousand questions ran through his head. However, there were no answers there. Only the look of a lost and horrified child. Remus felt as though someone had sent a bludger straight through his head. His ears were ringing with everything she had just said and his mind was racing with everything he recalled her saying, every memory he had to which his instincts told him that something was badly off. He could hear it all eerily repeat itself in an endless reel. _"I could help you with grading all the younger students' essays. I used to help Professor Snape." "...I just think that Slytherins are unsuitable matches." _And then her response to having been Severus' favorite. "_Perhaps I used to be." _

"How could you still defend him?" Remus whispered as he looked down into her eyes while frowning deeply, suddenly feeling a bit of anger towards her for defending a man that had caused her so much harm. "Jadis, he's your Professor. He's at least fifteen years older than you are. He used you, took advantage of you," Remus said, his voice getting louder and angrier as she ducked her head at what he was saying. "This is worse than had he thrown you down the stairs," Remus growled as he suddenly got to his feet and marched passed her towards the Quidditch pitch, thinking his anger was better directed at the one who was responsible for it all.

Jadis looked up and watched him go around her for a moment in shock. She had been stunned and ashamed when he stared to reprimand her. However, when she saw him suddenly get to his feet , she felt horrified. Stumbling to her feet, she turned and ran after him. "Professor Lupin, what are you doing?" she called shakily as she caught up to him, adrenaline beginning to pour into her system as she thought of all that could happen if Professor Lupin said anything to anyone.

"Jadis, I have an obligation as your Professor to report this. He abused you and he can't get away with it," Remus said as he continued to march at a furious pace. He felt the blood in his veins becoming lava. Images of Severus putting his hands on Jadis suddenly were flashing through his head. Balling his hands into fist, he tried to contain himself. _How could he?_ He wondered angrily to himself. _He is her Professor, he was her Head of House! He knew better than that! She's barely little more than a child! How could he?_

"Stop!" Jadis yelled as she stepped in his way, placing her hands on his chest. Remus tried to push her hands away and remove them, trying to keep going, but she grasped onto the front of his robes. Beneath her hands, she could feel the moisture of her tears left on his robes. "Please you can't tell anyone," She cried out desperately trying to get his attention as she looked at him, begging and pleading with her eyes as they caught his. "You'll ruin him... and _me_," she added as an afterthought.

The expression in his eyes, though he refused to look at her and was trying to pull away from her, was dubious and angry. "Nothing even happened until long after I was of age and its over now! Its been over for almost six months now. Please professor Lupin!" she begged after speaking rapidly. When he turned his eyes to her she looked desperately into them trying to find the kind and compassionate man she had come to know. "Please, don't tell a soul," she said as tears of desperation jumped into her eyes when she thought she had run all out of tears. "I'd die if anyone else found out," she said, her voice breaking into a sob, forcing her to downcast her gaze.

For a moment, Remus felt all the anger dissipate as he watched her break down. He hadn't thought of the repercussions that this could cause her. However, he could not live with himself if Severus had abused her if he let him get away with it. After all, if it had been purely for Snape's own pleasure and had nothing to do with Jadis, who was to say that he hadn't done it before or would do it again to another student? Remus couldn't allow that. And yet as he looked at Jadis, he knew that bringing it to the attention of the Headmaster might victimize her further.

_Look at her. You have a hard time of it yourself reminding yourself that she is a student. And Jadis looks like no child,_ he reminded himself bitterly. Even he had inappropriate dreams of her. Even he had grown feelings for her that had nothing to do with the fact that she was a student. She was a beautiful and charming young witch. She was a legal adult. Perhaps Snape had loved her, as hard as it was to believe that he could love anyone. _And she says nothing happened until she was of age and that its been over for almost half a year now._

Remus wasn't sure what to do. He was at war with himself over the matter. Looking up, he found that she had stopped sobbing and was watching him imploringly with her big, beautiful, Spanish eyes, with fat droplets of tears falling from her sooty lashes. It was enough to make him want to protect her from all the world. "Jadis, I'll make you a compromise. You have to tell me exactly what happened and if I am not convinced that he didn't abuse his authority to take advantage of you, than I will have to inform the headmaster. Its a matter of student safety then, you understand?" he sad firmly and seriously.

Jadis nodded her had in assent, as she had no choice in the matter. She had royally fucked up and it was up to her to repair the damage. She moved her hands from his robes and wiped the tears away rapidly, wondering how she would be able to talk about it when she had never done so before. Looking up, she was suddenly startled to see Professor Lupin handing her a handkerchief. Taking it shakily in her hand, she breathed out a hasty thanks as she wiped her tears away.

"We should go to my office, best not to be overheard," Remus said as he studied her wearily. Jadis nodded as she ducked her head and wiped her nose. Remus watched a her hair fell on either side of her and covered her face. She looked ashamed, Remus wondered if it was because she'd admitted to being in a sordid affair with a teacher or it if was because he'd seen her crying. Either way, he wanted to reach out to her and hold her once more as he previously had, and tell her that she had nothing to be ashamed of.

However, he was uncertain about touching her as she was already so broken and fragile. He felt that if he touched her he might confuse her, or perhaps cause her to feel that he was like Severus and wanted to take advantage of her. Also he felt somehow hypocritical. He'd been having very lecherous dreams of Jadis, how was he any better than Severus? _But I haven't crossed that line,_ he tried to reassure himself.

Turning around he and Jadis both silently made their way to the castle. They were both too caught up in their own thoughts to notice everything around them. It wasn't long before they were standing outside his office. Absentmindedly, Remus opened the door and allowed her to walk in ahead before closing he door behind himself and locking it. "Privacy measures," Remus explained when Jadis looked towards him. She merely nodded in response as Remus pulled out his wand and cast a muffliato. He then walked around his desk and sat behind it, motioning for her to sit.

Uncertainly Jadis sat opposite of Professor Lupin. With the desk between them, this felt far more formal and daunting. She'd never felt more aware of the fact that he was really a Hogwarts Professor, one who perhaps would not hesitate at all to tell the Headmaster what had occurred between her and Severus, no matter what she said. Fidgeting with the handkerchief that he had lent to her, she waited anxiously for a cue to start, though the words seemed to choke her. _What can I say to justify what occurred? And what can I say to convince him that I wasn't just a game to Severus, when I'm not even sure of it myself,_ she wondered.

"Well Jadis I suppose you could start with how it all stated," Remus said with a heavy sigh. He had to rub his temples as he watched her, she looked more nervous than he had ever see her look before. She looked pale and peaky. The way she kept fidgeting made her look so small, like she really was just a little girl. He felt deeply sorry for her as he watched her try to gather up her wits.

"I don't really know where it all started," Jadis responded in a low voice as she looked down at her hands. "Being that I am in Slytherin, he's always been less... hard on me. He's my Head of House, so it was easy for me to respect him from the start. I could even admired his devotion and passion for his subject," Jadis said softly as she started to twist his handkerchief in her hand. "I don't know when my feelings for him went from being platonic... to something more."

Remus watched her closely. Though she was speaking softly he still caught every word. Her tone, despite the pain she felt earlier, still spoke of her love and reverence for the man who caused her so much harm. It pained Remus on many levels, even on levels he did not comprehend nor was really aware of. "But in my first five years, Professor Snape was always there when I needed him. He saw more to me than just his perfect pupil. He even understood me on levels that even Matt can't. He really saw me, and though I thought it impossible of him, he really seemed to care about me.

"I'd never had that... someone care about me. It made it so easy for me to dismiss the way he could be cruel to all the other houses. I didn't care that he was biased, and not because I'm a Slytherin and I think we deserve preferential treatment. But as a Slytherin, everyone else seems biased against us and it just seemed that he was leveling out the playing field. I became aware that I was in love with him when my fifth year came to an end," Jadis said. Her throat closed up and she had to pause. The easy part was done, and she was aware that from here on in, it would only become more difficult. Looking up for the first time since she started speaking. She was startled to see his eyes watching her with rapt attention. There was no judgment in his eyes, only sympathy that saddened her all the more. Looking down, she continued to wring the old handkerchief while trying to gather herself up once more.

"You must know how determined a Slytherin can be. I once told you that I am not at all like that, but that was the one instance were I could be. The summer after I became determined in figuring out if he could ever return my feelings and when I became sure of it, I was determined to be with him and I didn't care about the cost," she said in a low voice.

Remus felt a shiver run through his body and he grimaced slightly. He couldn't think of any reason why anyone would want to be with Severus. Though Remus did not loathe him, he honestly found Severus a very unpleasant person. He could see nothing at all worth even liking in him. However, as he looked at Jadis, he could see that she'd really loved him. He found it amazing that she had found Severus at all worth loving and apparently worth pursuing with fervor. Suddenly, he saw that Jadis was not a child and a capable woman and it was slightly intimidating. "_Jadis thinks she can do anything she sets her mind on.." _Remus recalled Matt saying. _What grown man would stand a chance in her wake? _He wondered to himself, almost sympathize with Severus. He was human after all, despite evidence to the contrary.

"Last year the Chamber of Secrets was opened, I don't know if you heard. One night just before the holidays, things between us finally came to a head. There were rumors floating around that they were going to close the school if the attacks kept up and I was distraught, I couldn't bare the thought of going home. I was out after curfew and he found me. For months we'd been dancing around each other, our emotions playing so close to the surface... I think that night, it couldn't be restrained anymore. He kissed my hand, he wanted to comfort me. I knew then without a doubt that he returned my feelings and I threw myself at him. That night there wasn't a force in the world that could stop it and we made love.

"I allowed it to go so far that night because to me it was only the natural step. I didn't care that he was my professor and older than me. Love can't be wrong, I don't think, no matter the circumstance. Not when you aren't hurting anyone," Jadis said softly as she stared at her hands. She was blushing and she could bare to look up. "Maybe I rushed things, maybe I shouldn't given him everything so fast... but to me it was like we'd already been together for years, that even though we had never expressed it through words... that our looks had expressed more than words ever could. I wanted to live our love intensely every second I could.

"We lasted only a few months," Jadis said, stopping as the pain of it choked her up for a moment as she continued to stare down at her lap. "When the Weasley girl disappeared... thats when he chose to end it in the most cruel way he could think. He told me that he didn't love me anymore, that I was easy and that he was bored. That's why things have been so weird between us this year," Jadis said as she looked up, having pushed through it all at last.

Remus stared at her for a moment. He really felt empathy for her. However, he felt his anger still burning softly underneath the surface. "It still sounds to me like he took advantage of you. It doesn't matter that you were of age and that it was _you_ that pursued _him_, he'd the authority figure, Jadis. He should have known better," Remus said, more sharply than he had meant to. He was about to stand up, when Jadis suddenly went on, stopping him before he could.

"He lied to me," Jadis said as she gazed directly into his eyes, her voice and figure brimming with confidence. He furrowed his brow, unsure what she was referring to. "He lied when he said he didn't love me. The day he subbed for you and I had to stay after class, I demanded he tell me the truth because if he didn't really love me, why would he care if I were in his class, why would he help me when I needed him even if I didn't ask for help? He told me that day that he said all those things because he thought it was the best for me, because he'd always been in love with someone else. But I think despite it, a part of him loved me. He made love to me, and you can't fake that."

Remus stared sat Jadis, his stomach churning. He could picture Severus being a gentle or considerate lover, though he';d never wanted to picture him with anyone at all. Imagining him with Jadis made him feel all the worse. He wasn't sure why. However, as he looked at her, he wondered what wast worse. To believe that Severus had taken advantaged of her, or that they had been in love with each other. The second almost hurt more, especially as it was evident to him that Jadis still loved him, or at least some part of her did. Though he supposed that was only natural considering he as her first love. He didn't think a person ever really stopped loving their first love or forgot it.

"Has he ever.... where you the only student?" Remus asked carefully, trying to find wording that would not offend her or cause her any pain. Jadis nodded in response.

"There is orly one era in his life he refused to ever speak of; when he was a student here. After which he'd been with a couple women, but I get the feeling that since he started teaching, I've been the only woman in his life," Jadis said, blushing. She looked away. "Whoever he's in love with must be someone he knew as a student, the few women after meant nothing to him," Jadis said with a disinterested shrug.

Remus stared at her for a moment in thought. "You didn't ask?" He asked while thinking of their years at Hogwarts. He didn't recall Severus ever talking to any girls. He was certain that he'd never had a girlfriend in those days. As for his life in the fours years between their days as students and when Severus became a Professor, they were a bit of a mystery to him. Remus never saw him in those years. In fact the start of term was the first time he'd had seen Severus since they were seventh years.

Jadis looked up at Professor Lupin and smiled sadly, almost with irony in her expression. "What do I care who he loved, why torture myself? It wasn't me and thats all that really matters," she said with slight bitterness. Looking away she sighed and shrugged. "I Imagine if he wasn't with her anymore its because he somehow lost her, or his love was unrequited," Jadis said with a shrug. However, after a moment she looked up at him with a bit of fear in her eyes. "Are you going to tell the Headmaster?"

For a moment Remus had to consider it. He was skeptical that Severus Snape could love anyone. However, he didn't see how anyone could resist falling for Jadis, even if they seemed sub-human. If it was to be believed that he loved her, than it was reasonable to believe that he ad ended things or her own good Severus had enough sense and will power to do that. It didn't seem like than that there would be any _romantic_ trysts between him and other students in the future. "I won't say anything, I don't think its necessary. But I would hope that as an adult Jadis, that you would exercise more caution and a sense of propriety," Remus said sternly.

Jadis smiled slightly in relief and solemnly nodded her head in response. Remus gave her permission to leave then. He felt emotionally exhausted as she slowly got to her feet and turned to leave. He wasn't sure if his brain or rather his heart had caught up just yet. "Professor Lupin?" Remus looked up to see her standing at the door, her hand on the handle, but not having opened the door yet. It was as though she had thought of something and turned just as she was about to open it and leave. He stared at her questioningly. "You can't let him know that you know. Please. He'd know that you found out because of me and I don't think that would be good for anyone," Jadis said, causing him to furrow his brow. "If he finds out that you know, he'll draw conclusions, which you may consider base. He'll come after you. Severus... he's very possessive. Though he's discarded me, he'll still see me as his while I'm still at Hogwarts and he won't stand to see someone take his place."

Remus stared at Jadis, absolutely stunned. "Jadis, you and I..." Remus mumbled. He didn't know how to respond to that. _Was she suggesting anything was going on between them?_

"I know Professor Lupin. But if he knows that you know about what happened between him and me, he will think there is something between you and I. He'll think that I confided in you what I can't tell anyone. To him that will mean only one thing, because there are things I can tell to only one person," Jadis said. Remus nodded and with that she disappeared, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He wasn't sure how long he merely sat in his office, thinking of everything she said and all that he could remember. He felt very conflicted.

On one hand he felt disappointed and... he wasn't sure what else, all because Jadis had been in what appeared to be a very physical relationship with one of her Professors. _Severus of all people!_ It just seemed so wrong and against nature. He felt that reasons that women desired the men that they did was such an incomprehensible mystery. However, he supposed that he could understand her love. He'd always believed that you couldn't help who your heart chose and, like Jadis, that love couldn't be wrong. He found it astounding that she could find something to love in a person like Severus. It was amazing that she loved him and that she could get him to feel anything at all for her in return.

Only now he felt a bit unsure about how to act around Severus. Although, he could understand falling for Jadis and finding her irresistible. However, to break her heart in such a cruel way to the point that Dementors could make her break down? He could understand leaving her because he thought it was the best for her, but could he have done so gently? Remus sighed as he buried his head in his hands and for a moment ruffled his hair before smoothing it back down as he wondered if he in Severus' place could have even done the same thing

Before the answer could come to him, there was a knock on his door. "Come in," Remus called out as he slowly extracted his head from his hands. He was a bit startled to see Severus striding in. For a moment his jaw and fist clenched. However, Remus calmly told himself that he had to act normally. "Hello Severus," he said as he forced a small smile on his face, one that did not reach his eyes at all, something that anyone but Severus would never have noticed.

"Your potion," Severus said coldly, really not caring about why Lupin looked so strained. He placed the goblet on the desk, Remus eyes following it. He felt a tinge of guilt as he stared at the steaming goblet. He could remember the way that his best mates tortured Severus when they were students. Not that Severus had been blameless either. However, Remus felt guilt that despite their unpleasant past that Severus would still bother to make the wolfbane Potion for him. It wasn't exactly a simple or inexpensive potion to make and it was really time consuming.

"Thank you Severus," Remus said as he looked up into Severus' dark eyes with a bit of sadness. He really didn't have any reason to judge Severus for his dysfunctional and improper relationship with Jadis. Loneliness in itself was a powerful incentive, and if Severus had loved her, Remus could imagine how hard it would be to resist her. Or to give her up.

"Indeed, if you need any more, I have a cauldron full in my office," Severus said coldly as he turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind himself with a snap. Remus merely turned his gaze to the unappetizing potion. Sighing, he reached out towards the goblet and quickly downed its entire contents. He grimaced at the taste while thinking of what Jadis said before leaving. He was sure that Severus would poison him if he ever found out that he knew about his relationship with Jadis. Making him think that perhaps it was for the best to avoid Jadis.

**TBC...**

**A/n:** As always just sorry about any mistakes I missed in editing. Hope that you all enjoyed the chapter. Please Review and tell me what you think.


	18. Lost and Found

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 18: Lost and Found**_

Jadis lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, her right hand grasping onto her left arm. Since that day that she had confessed to Professor Lupin about her relationship with Severus, she couldn't sleep. It had been three weeks and she felt certain that Professor Lupin was avoiding her as he never looked at her at all in class. Though she felt it was for the best for she couldn't look at him without feeling ashamed, she felt the worse for it. Somehow she felt that she had disappointed him, and that she now disgusted him. That he saw her as something crude, base and worthless.

She'd spent a lot of time cutting herself, she supposed that the fact it was December also had something to do with that. The Holidays were upon them, always a terrible time of year for her, wherever she was. Usually, she stayed at the castle so that she wouldn't have to be around her parents, but this year that didn't seem like an option. All the pain that she felt, she knew that it made her vulnerable. She didn't trust herself not to look for comfort in the only person to ever show her any attention and love. Something she knew would be disastrous anyway she looked at it.

However, the thought of going home seemed more than just unappealing. Her _family_ always spent the holidays in Spain with her father's family. As if it was not bad enough to be ignored by her parents, being in Spain meant being criticized and taunted by her father's family for her terribly accented Spanish. For reason's she didn't comprehend, her father's family was able to accept her British mother. Jadis on the other hand, despite being their blood relative, was a different story. _She_ was a black stain on the Luna family. Jadis didn't know why they loathed her so much.

She knew why her parents didn't care about her. Her father was disappointed that she hadn't been born a boy, that she would not be able to carry on their pureblood name and had destroyed any possibilities of obtaining a male heir, and thus putting an end to the Luna bloodline. He resented her. Her mother on the other hand, Jadis was convinced that her mother didn't care one bit about the fact that she could not have anymore children. In fact, she knew her mother was relieved that Jadis had removed _that_ pressure from her. Jadis felt that her mother had never wanted any children at all and of course Jadis was not the exception.

Before Jadis could sink any lower into her despairing thoughts, she felt something on her stomach. Raising her head slightly, she found herself staring at a furry face. For a moment, she smiled as she pet Neji on the head. "Are you here to make me get out of bed?" Jadis mumbled. It was the last day before the holidays, and her destiny was set. She would have to go home for the holidays because she had not signed up to stay at the castle. She had a lot to do, packing her things being the most prominent. However, she had no desire to do so. That seemed to make things seem so final, even though, they really couldn't get anymore final.

"Jadis, are you up?"

"Yes Pam, what is it?" Jadis said through the curtains. She really didn't feel like getting up and facing the world. She didn't think that she had the strength to deal with her friends just yet either. Actually, that was probably the only thing she was looking forward to about the holidays. She needed a break from her friends. They had been particularly trying since December had started. All they could talk about was their engagement, and how they were going to tell their parents over the holidays and how they were going to have their engagement party and how it was going to be a shame that Jadis would not be able to make it. Personally, Jadis was relieved about that. She had no desire to go. They were being so obnoxious of late, that she could stand to not be there.

"Matt wants to know if you are going to go to Hogsmead with us, or if you will join us over there," Pam replied in her small voice.

"I'll meet you guys over there. I think I am just going to lay here for a while longer," Jadis replied, to which Pam just muttered an ok. For a moment, Jadis laid in bed for a moment until she had Pam leave the dorm and shut the door behind herself. As soon was she was gone, Jadis knew she was alone. Sitting up in bed, accidentally knocking Neji over, she threw open the curtains to get out of bed. She felt like she really needed to take a very LONG shower. However, she forgot to grab a change of clothes with her. When she came out wrapped in a towel, she was unsettled to see that someone had taken her trunk.

For a moment, Jadis' eyes widened and she wondered what the hell had happened to her trunk. A disappearing trunk really wasn't that uncommon. It was actually a very common prank and eventually, it would turn up somewhere. However, the added inconvenience of only having a towel to cover herself with, made this prank very malicious. Jadis could only think of one person with the gall to pull it off. Cursing under her breath, Jadis walked over to her bedside and rummaged through her nightstand for her wand.

"SHIT!" she yelled to find that it too was gone. For a moment, Jadis looked around the dorm, wondering what she could do. For a moment, she thought of borrowing something to wear from another girl's trunk. However, she immediately discarded this idea. Most older Slytherins had a tendency to magically seal their trunks to keep their things from disappearing. The only person trusting enough in their dorm to not do so was Pam, and her trunk was also missing. _Velma had surely planned this to perfection._

For a moment, Jadis sat on her bed and grabbed hand full of her wet hair as she wracked her brains for what to do. She supposed that she could sit up here and wait for Pam and Matt to come back, however, there was no telling how long that would take. The longer she spent up here, the more time that Pam had with her things, which was really not a good thing. This sudden thought, suddenly set Jadis into a panic and before she could think of anything else she had jumped off her bed and was marching out of the dorm. Before long, she had run to the common room, and was slightly relieved to find that there were only a few students, as most had probably gone to Hogsmead, or were up in the Great Hall eating breakfast.

Despite the freezing cold of the dungeons, Jadis felt her skin begin to flush as everyone turned to look at her. _Well, this really isn't any worse than the Halloween costume I wore,_ she thought as her eyes searched through the common room for Velma and trying to ignore the feeling of thousands of needles prickling at her skin. Goosebumps were rising all over her skin and she would almost swear that frost was beginning to gather on strands of her hair.

"Where is my trunk, Velma," Jadis said as she clenched her teeth to keep them from chattering, when she spotted Velma stretched out on a couch. Jadis wanted to smack the smug smile off Velma's face as she walked over. However, her hands were busy making sure the towel was secured around her.

"I really don't know what you're talking about, Jadis. And if I did, I know you wouldn't expect me to tell you. That would be cheating," Velma replied, indicating that this was clearly all just a game to her. Jadis gritted her teeth at this getting angrier by the minute. She really loathed Velma with all her being. However, at the moment, she couldn't do anything against her. She didn't have her wand, and though normally she wouldn't think of that as a hindrance as she still had her hands, at the moments her hands were occupied with keeping her towel around her. So the only choice was to play Velma's little twisted game of 'find the hidden trunk'.

"Are you at least going to give me a clue to where it is?" Jadis asked.

"Whats the magic word," Velma said with a smirk.

"Please," Jadis replied through gritted teeth.

"You didn't say it like you really meant it, but I'm going to let that slide," Velma said. "Your trunk and wand are both somewhere in the castle that though there is little likelihood anyone will see them, there is very little chance that no one will see you as you go fetch it. And if I were you, I'd be very careful about letting on to any teachers that I did this to you. Or else something terrible might happen to that little vermin of yours, whatever it's name is."

Jadis felt something heavy fall into the pit of her stomach as she wondered if she had seen Neji. Seeing the look in Velma's eyes, she could tell that the answer was no. Not wanting to waste anymore time, Jadis marched barefoot out of the common room and into the freezing cold halls of the dungeons and making her way through the labyrinth, trying to find a set of stairs that would not lead her into plain sight just yet while trying to think of where her trunk could possibly be. _Not in the dungeons, no one would see me looking for it if it were down here,_ Jadis rationalized as she started to creep up a staircase just off the Entrance Hall.

Luckily, the Entrance Hall was empty. However, as she peaked towards the entrance to the school, she could see a crowd of students trying to get cleared to go to Hogsmead. The doors to the Great Hall were cracked open and she could see that there were still people inside eating breakfast. Immediately, Jadis discarded the option of her things being inside the Great Hall. It was impossible that no one would see them there. _It can't be outside either, because Velma said they were somewhere in the castle, _Jadis thought to herself as she looked around the Entrance Hall to make sure that no one was there.

Running across the hall towards the room just off the Great Hall, Jadis hid in the doorway for a moment as she tried the door. However, it was locked. _Velma probably wouldn't hide it somewhere I couldn't get to it,_ Jadis thought to herself as she once more peaked into the entrance hall for the all clear before running towards the nearest staircase and running up the stairs. _God this is so stupid, running around in a towel like this!_ Jadis thought, blushing as she hid in the nearest doorway to the first floor landing.

Jadis paused here for a moment as she wondered what was the likelihood that it would be in any of the rooms on this floor. She didn't think that Velma would hide her trunk in anyone's classroom or office. However, she had too search the floor. Taking a deep breath, Jadis jogged from doorway to doorway, looking for her trunk, and careful to avoid being seen by anyone. She completely avoided Professor McGonagall's office, and merely peaked into the boys bathroom before running up to the second floor, where she came up very near to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. A fact she only noticed when she felt her bare feet splash in water.

"EWWWWWW!" Jadis squealed as she looked down and tried to lift her foot out of the water. However, there was no use. Both her feet were already wet and she had to check Moaning Myrtle's bathroom anyway. _Wait... that's not a good idea at all. Moaning Myrtle will sound the alarm, she'll have everyone here laughing at me in a heartbeat, _Jadis thought to herself as she shivered. Though she had been able to ignore the cold of the castle nipping at her skin, standing barefoot in water had suddenly reminded her of the cold and the fact that a moist towel was doing nothing to keep her warm. Her wet hair wasn't making matters any better either. _Besides, I really don't think Velma would hide my trunk in the washroom, at least not a girl's washroom, too easy,_ Jadis tried to tell herself, to talk herself out of more embarrassment.

Before she was done trying to rationalize walking away from the bathroom, a sudden meow made her turn around. Her eyes widened in horror as her eyes caught sight of Mrs. Norris staring at her, her eyes watching her as though she knew Jadis was dressed very indecently. Before Jadis could think about this at all, she started to sprint down the hall, all the while looking behind her to see if Mrs. Norris was following her. She was of course.

Not looking where she was going, Jadis soon found herself crashing into something as she rounded the corner. Eyes widening, Jadis was unable to do anything to stop herself from falling over and landing on top of something which made a very distinct growling noise. Jadis furrowed her brow as she looked to see what she had fallen on. _Why do things like this always happen to me?_Jadis wondered as her eyes widened all the more to see that she was staring down into the face of Professor Lupin. He seemed as startled as she was, and his face was Howler-red as he looked her up and down.

"Jadis, what are you doing! What are you wearing!" He said loudly as he tried to maneuver his way out from beneath her without touching her. However, he couldn't do very much as their legs had somehow become entangled. Also, Jadis' entire body weight was pressed against him, pinning him down in a mildly successful manner. For a moment, there was nothing but confusion as they both tried to extricate themselves from the other and get to their feet. The task was all that much harder for Jadis who had the added complication of keeping her body covered by the piece of cloth that had become unsecured when she was running.

Using one hand to grab the ends at her chest, Jadis used her other hand to get on all fours. For a moment, she was distracted by turning to see if Mrs. Norris was still there watching. However, when she turned her head slightly, she could see that the feline had left. _Probably to go get Filch,_ Jadis thought to herself for a moment as she bit on her lip and sat fully back on her heels. For a moment, she looked down to see that her body was still fully covered as Lupin pulled his legs out from beneath her. Tightly tucking in a corner of the towel to secure it around her chest, she smoothed out the bottom before getting to her feet and turning to a very bewildered and upset Lupin.

"I'm sorry Professor Lupin, I didn't mean to run into you," Jadis said, thinking that the blush on Lupins face and neck could only be matched by the blush on her own features. Although, for a moment she wondered if perhaps her own was deeper as she could feel it spreading to her chest.

"Jadis, why are you wearing only a towel?" Lupin asked loudly and in a very alarmed tone of voice as he looked into her eyes, searching for an explanation. "Why aren't you wearing clothes? Why are you running around like this? Do you have any idea how much trouble you could get in? Forget that, you know how sick you can get?"

"Someone took my trunk and my wand while I was showering. I didn't have anything to wear. I was just looking for my things," Jadis replied as she looked down and scratched her neck. Even to her own ears that sounded very feeble. Not to mention, it made her seem like she was very stupid. Without any clues as to where her things were, anyone would think that they would be anywhere and not go around looking for them. Without the threat, someone would probably go straight to a Professor for help. Jadis couldn't mention any of that to Lupin, it would let on that she knew who had taken her things. "It was stupid, I know, but I just panicked."

Remus stared down at Jadis for a moment and frowned. Hearing this, he felt slightly sorry for her and he wondered who would play such a malicious joke on her. However, he thought that it was probably irrelevant, it could be anyone in Slytherin. Trying to figure out who would do such a thing would require the help of her Head of House and Remus couldn't bring himself to do that to Jadis. Jadis probably thought that it was bad enough that he had seen her running around in a towel, somehow he was sure she would think it worse if her ex saw her this vulnerable. Besides... was it really a good idea for Severus to see Jadis practically naked before him once more?

"Jadis, come with me," Remus said with a sigh as he led her towards his office which was just down the hall. Once inside his office, Remus walked over to the fireplace. "Wait here for a moment," Remus said as he grabbed a pinch of floo and left. He was back in a moment carrying a bundle of clothes which he handed her. "I'll wait for you outside, we'll look for your things together," he said as he left her alone in his office without looking at her.

Furrowing her brow, Jadis turned and watched him walk out of the office and close the door behind himself. She felt her stomach churn as she looked towards the clothes that he had gotten for her. _He must hate me. I've put him in so many awkward moments, _Jadis thought as she looked down at the clothes that he had given her. She felt tears begin to gather in her eyes at the thought. She didn't know why it pained her that he might hate her. She supposed it was because he was someone that she had come to trust and like. The thought that he hated her and probably thought of was garbage made her feel very sick.

Wiping the moisture from her eyes, Jadis sat down in the chair and tried not to think about that. Instead, she turned her focus on the bundle of clothing that he had given her. Running her fingers gently over the old and worn clothing, she smiled sadly to see how well kept they were. They were so meticulously folded. Despite the despair she felt, a tiny smile of fondness graced her features as she unfolded the long sleeved shirt that he had lent her and threw it on. She then unfolded the next item. _He lent me his boxers? _She thought with a shiver as her face flushed once more.

Trying not to think of dirty thoughts, she quickly put on his boxers before throwing the brown robes he had lent her over them. He had lent her some socks too, however, before she could pull them on she had to roll up the sleeves of his robes. Once that was done, she got up and looked down at herself. The robes were a little long, and of course too big for her smaller frame, but they were better then walking around in a freezing cold castle with a towel. Standing up, Jadis sighed and opened the door. She found that Professor Lupin had been standing with his back to the door. When he turned around and looked at her, his mouth twitched for a moment.

_Merlin, she looks so cute_, he groaned inwardly to himself. "Would you like me to transfigure the socks into some slippers? I'm sorry I couldn't give you something new but-"

"Professor, I'm very grateful, you don't have to apologize for anything. This is more kindness than I am used to. And yes, please, I would really appreciate not walking barefoot," Jadis said quickly as she looked down. Remus merely nodded in response as he pulled out his wand and pointed to her feet. The slippers he transfigured, though plain, were very comfortable. "Thank you, Professor."

Remus merely nodded. "We should look for your things," Remus merely said as they set off together. As they conducted their search of the second floor, neither one said very much to the other. Jadis found her sadness returning to her to see that he would barely look at her and that he said so very little. She didn't even care about all the people that they saw, or the way they looked at her strangely for what she was wearing. All she cared about was how serious he seemed and how aloof he was. By the time that they had finished with the third she found that she really couldn't stand it anymore.

"Professor Lupin... do you think I'm terrible for what I did? You know... with Snape?" Jadis asked as they made their way up the stairs. Remus furrowed his brow at this and turned to look at Jadis, wondering where she had gotten that from. She had her head ducked as they continued their assent, her long loose hair, which was still wet, was covering her face.

"Of course not Jadis, what gave you that impression?" Remus asked as he turned to look forward.

"I don't know... your just very serious right now, your hardly talking, you won't look at me..." Jadis said, trailing off as she shrugged her small shoulders. Remus furrowed his brow at this. He hadn't thought of how Jadis might see his sudden retreat. He wondered how he had not thought of how she would take this. Of course she would see his sudden change in behavior as disapproval and evasion. Well it was evasion, however, not because of what she had done or because he frowned on it.

"I've just had a lot on my mind Jadis, its nothing against you. I'm sorry that it seemed that way to you," Remus said sincerely. Jadis looked over at him skeptically. Something that Remus could see out of his peripheral vision. "Jadis, I like you believe that love can't really be wrong it you aren't hurting anyone and that you don't rule your heart. The rules of society... they mean very little when you are in love. I don't understand how you fell in love with _him_, but I understand your situation in general. I don't judge you for it or see you any differently because of it," Remus said as he turned to look at Jadis. He was astounded to find that what he said was true, and as he looked into his eyes, he could feel how much he had missed her recently.

Jadis smiled at him as they came up on the fourth floor, feeling a little bit better as she stared into his warm, amber eyes. She was glad to see the sincerity there, and to see that his eyes held no judgment. The only thing she saw in his eyes was the same warmth and goodness of heart she had always seen there. Feeling better, they resumed their task of looking for her trunk, Jadis feeling more light-hearted than she had in weeks. However, it didn't last as he asked her what she was doing over the holidays.

"Usually I stay at the castle, but this year its probably for the best that I go home for the holidays. My family usually spends the holidays in Spain," Jadis said with a shrug of her shoulders. She really didn't want to talk about this, something that Remus immediately noticed by the way she had gone so serious all of a sudden. Remus wondered what that was about, but didn't think it prudent to ask. He could guess why she didn't want to be at the castle that year. However, he didn't see why she wouldn't want to go home.

"What are your friends doing for the holidays?" Remus asked as they stater their search of the fourth floor, exploring the nooks and crannies in their vicinity.

"Matt and Pam will be visiting each other's families to tell them the big news. They expect to be throwing an engagement part at some point too," Jadis replied. She was getting somewhat annoyed that they had been unable to find her things as of yet. However, she felt better thinking about the fact that Velma hadn't gotten what she had wanted. She supposed that another good thing that came out of this whole thing was that it had gotten Lupin to start talking to her again. Something that no matter what he said, she didn't think would have happened otherwise. She suspected that he had been avoiding her, however, she didn't know why now. She did believe him when he said that he didn't judge her for her relationship with Severus. However, she knew that he had been avoiding her. She was absolutely positive of that.

"Well thats nice. Will you be attending?"

"Merlin no. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them. However, they've been insufferable lately with their displays of affection. Positively sickening. I need a break from it," Jadis replied, causing Remus to chuckle as they met up in the middle of the hall and continued to make their way down the hall. The only thing on the fourth floor that they had left to search was the library.

"I know what that is like. One of my best friends got engaged in his seventh year. From that point on, they were inseparable and a bit vexing with their pet-names, and always holding each other," Remus said with a shiver and a chuckle as he recalled his friends. Jadis smiled as she looked over at him. Sometimes, she forgot that her teachers were once students. She supposed that with teachers as young as Remus and Snape, that it would be easier. However, she often forgot.

"Professor Lupin, what were you like when you were a student?" Jadis asked with a smile, not wanting to think about Severus and about the fact that she had always figured that he and Remus were the same age and therefore had to have been in the same year at school. Instead, she wanted to think of something much more pleasant. Especially as soon she would have no escape from her dark thoughts as they would be her only company.

"I suppose the same as I am now," Remus said with a chuckle. "Actually, I probably had my nose stuck in a book more often than now. If it weren't for my friends, I would have never come up for air," Remus said with a fond smile as they approached the library. "Actually, your friends Matt reminds me of them a bit. They weren't very different. They liked to tease people, they loved joking around, pulling pranks..."

"So you were friends with troublemakers. I have a hard time picturing that," Jadis said with a chuckle. "No offense Professor Lupin, but you seem too serene to be best friends with someone like Matt. Although, I suppose you do have your mischievous streak. So maybe I shouldn't have such a hard time with that," Jadis said with a teasing smile. Remus merely chuckled at this. "So let me guess... your favorite subject was Defense, and you were probably a Prefect at some point, huh?"

"Well I'd like to think that I'm not quite so predictable, but yes. But I was never Head Boy. My friend was, much to the surprise of perhaps the school, and probably to the annoyance of Severus," Remus said as they started to make their way through the isles. He had gotten so caught up in their conversation, that for a moment he forgot about what they were doing and about what they had been speaking about just minutes before. Immediately he regretted the end to his sentence and turned to see the look on Jadis face. She didn't seem as impacted as he thought that she would be.

Turning away, Jadis turned her gaze to the books on the shelf before her, so that he could only see her profile. "I thought you two would have gone to school together, you seem to be about the same age. Were you in the same year?" Jadis asked, turning to look at Remus with mostly emotionless expression. Her tone was a bit dead pan, and Remus wondered if it affected her so much.

"Yes, we were," Remus said as he looked watched her carefully. She nodded and turned away, staring once more at the bookshelves before her. "I'm sorry Jadis, I didn't mean to bring it up."

"I'm not going to lie you. I wish I could say that I am indifferent about him. But sometimes I miss him and think that I am still very much in love with him. Other times I hate him and am so angry with him that I can barely stand it. I don't know how to stop feeling anything at all towards him. I feel like I get better every day, but I don't really think thats true, because than something happens and it all comes up again as if it were the first day," Jadis said sadly as she stared unseeingly at the book shelf before her.

Remus stared at her sadly. "I wish I could tell you, Jadis, that one day you wont feel anything for him, but there are some people that stay with us forever. The feelings may fade so you don't feel them so intensely, you can live with them, and hardly feel them, but they will always be there in the background," Remus said.

"Did that happen to you?" Jadis asked as she turned to look at Remus, her eyes wide with curiosity. Remus nodded in response as he turned away and leaned against the shelves. Considering it was a Saturday and a Hogsmead weekend, there were very few students in the library and so they were unconcerned with being overheard by someone.

"My first love was a girl I met here at school. I thought that we were going to be together forever, that she would loved me for who I really am, despite everything. When we were nineteen, she wanted us to move in together and I was a little apprehensive about it. I felt that there was still a lot she needed to know about me. She didn't understand me. All of a sudden all her love turned to hate in the blink of an eye and she left me. For years I felt broken-hearted. Eventually, I started to be angry with her for not accepting me as I am. I don't think I've trusted anyone since."

Jadis stared at the man leaning his head back against the bookshelves, staring up at the ceiling with a frown on his handsome features. She felt her heart go out to him and her heart swell with empathy for him. She wanted to hold him, because she could see that whoever she was she had affected Professor Lupin very deeply. That the wound and damage she had caused him was still there. For a moment, she felt despair at her own situation. _Am I going to be like that? Will Severus always affect me like that?_

"I suppose you just have to take everything one step at a time," Remus said with a shrug as he pointed up. Jadis' gaze followed the direction he was pointing towards and found her eyes widen at the trunk teetering precariously on the top of the bookcase. A smile of amusement spread on her face, matching that of Professor Lupin. Suddenly, all their depressing thoughts evaporated in that wistful moment of finding something lost in the strangest of places.

_**TBC...**_

**A/n: **So I hoped you all enjoyed this chapter. Sorry for any typos or mistakes I may have missed while editing. Anyway, Please review and tell me your thoughts.


	19. A Shift in Circumstance

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 19: A Shift In Circumstances**_

Velma had not been at all pleased when Jadis returned to the common room with her trunk and wand, fully dressed in her own clothes. However, she'd had not choice but to return Neji. Jadis was happy when she returned to the dorm. She told herself that she would have to take extra precautions with her trunk from then on, especially when considering the fact that her arms had been exposed to the wide world on this occasion. Luckily no one had seen her and Lupin had been too stunned by her first appearance to notice; afterwards she'd had his clothes for cover, so no one had seen anything.

After joining her friends in better spirits at Hogsmead, the day quickly evaporated. The same could not be said for the following two weeks which were a nightmare. As was usual, while her parents ignored her, her father's family tortured her. Her cousin Isabel, who was two years older than Jadis, was particularly intolerable this year as she was engaged to some rich, pureblood, professional Quidditch player. Jadis couldn't wait to be able to crawl into bed each night. She took particularly comfort to be able to curl up each night with Professor Lupin's shirt and robes, which she had been unable to return to him before the holidays started.

She wasn't sure why she hadn't noticed this before, but his clothes were impregnated with his scent, which smelled deliciously of sweets. She placed a charm to try and preserve their scent as long as possible as they took her away from the terrible place she was to a place that seemed warmer. Jadis wasn't sure how she would be able to return them t him. They provided her with a lot of comfort, especially was she recalled what he said to her, which made her feel like she was not alone in the world. That someone else felt the way she did. It was an enormous comfort.

Before the holidays were up, Jadis decided to purchase replacements to send to Professor Lupin. She also sent him a note telling him that she had somehow misplaced what he had lent her and that she felt so awful about it, that she thought of replacing them. She also told him that he had to accept them or else she would feel horrible. When she received his awkward thanks in return, she couldn't help but smile.

When the holidays were up, Jadis was relieved to return to school. She didn't even mind hearing all about Matt and Pam's successful engagement parties. However, she knew returning to classes meant a lot of work. With only a few months to go for their NEWTs, the teachers were really starting to pile it on. Jadis was relieved that at least this year everyone would have to go to the Head Girl if they wanted a relief.

When Tuesday rolled around, Jadis was eager to get to class. She, Matt and Pam arrived five minutes early. "Good morning Professor Lupin," the three Slytherins chorused as they took their seats. Remus looked up and smiled mildly at the three Slytherins, though he tried not to focus on Jadis. He had not been able to think of anything but Jadis during the his holidays. He couldn't believe that he had told her about Amber, someone he hadn't thought about in years and with good reason. However, he supposed he felt compelled to share with Jadis because she'd been so honest with him and because she'd seemed so vulnerable. It been the only thing he could think of to help her.

However, the worst of the holidays came with the full moon. Not the transformation itself, but the fact that he had been tortured by sexual thoughts of Jadis, He couldn't stop thinking of the kiss she had given him on her birthday and desiring more. He couldn't stop thinking of the way she had looked on Halloween. And what made everything worse, was thoughts of their last encounter. Seeing her wet, and in nothing more than a towel had been far too arousing. Recalling the way her body had felt pressed against his and having her legs entangled with his, it was too much to bear.

Wishing to not think of this, Remus turned to three and smiled mildly. "How were your holidays?" Remus asked, however as Matt went on about his holidays with Pam, Remus felt his thoughts once more turning to Jadis. Another thing that befuddled him greatly during the holidays was the brand new set of robes, shirt and boxers he had received from her. It had seemed so bizarre to him, even if she was only replacing them cause she had lost his things. It seemed a very personal gesture, and he had to wonder perhaps if she hadn't really misplaced his things and simply wanted to buy him something new. It made him feel slightly self-conscious. _Did she disapprove of his worn clothes?_ Remus tried to think that this was not the case, as Jadis had proved to be quite above that kind of thing. _You are just making too much of it, she didn't mean anything by it, _he tried to tell himself for the millionth time.

"How about yours, Jadis?" Remus asked when Matt had finished and more students started to pour in for class. He didn't want Jadis to think that he was avoiding her again. He didn't want her to think that he thought less of her. However, he wasn't sure how to distance himself from her without making her think it was about her when really it was about him.

Jadis shrugged her shoulders, not sure what to say about her holidays. "Yeah, good luck getting anything out of her. When it comes to her family, Jadis is a steel trap," Matt said with a roll of his eyes. "She's never said very much to me about them and I'm her best mate. You would think her family is a bunch of spies or something."

Remus furrowed his brow at this as he looked between Jadis and Matt. "That's because you have the mouth bigger than a dragon," Jadis said as she glared at the back of her blond friend, before turning her gaze to Professor Lupin with a small smile. "Truth is there really isn't much to tell about them and my holidays were pretty boring. How about yours, Proefssor Lupin?"

"There's really not much to tell there either, I stayed at the castle," he replied before turning his attention to the rest of the class as the bell rang. However, he wondered slightly at what Matt had said, wondering why Jadis did not like speaking of her parents. _Probably just a Slytherin thing, _he told himself so that he could concentrate on the task at hand, namely teaching and trying to keep anymore thoughts of Jadis from coming to mind. However, his instincts were telling him that something was a bit off, and they had never really been wrong before. Something that worried him.

XX

Now that she was back at school, Jadis felt in an overall better mood. All the work that was piled on them was not a deterrent to her. However, for most of the seventh years, emotions and nerves seemed to be running high. The weak ones were starting to show signs of breaking down. Amongst them, Velma Donovan, something Jadis knew would not be a good thing for her and which became a self-fulfilled prophecy that following Wednesday.

"Why don't you watch where you are going!" Velma shrieked when she felt someone bump into her, sending the materials she was carrying in her arms flying. Velma grit her teeth and turned her angry eyes to the idiot who'd run into her. She almost sneered when she caught the vexed expression in Jadis' eyes. Velma still couldn't believe that Jadis had managed to get her things without ANYONE seeing her and it infuriated her to no end. "Well, well, well, if it isn't my favorite dunce. Do you see the messed you have caused? Pick it up, NOW!"

Jadis furrowed her brow at this a the few Gryffindors and other students in the hall watched and chuckled. _They always do enjoy watching a Slytherin being abused, even if its only by another Slytherin. That probably makes it more satisfactory, that we can't even get along with one another at times, _Jadis thought bitterly. However, she wasn't about t give anyone the satisfaction. "Pick it up yourself Velma, you have hands of your own. I'm running late enough for transfiguration as it is to deal with your little temper tantrum," Jadis snapped as she tried to push past Velma to get to class. She wasn't going to allow herself to be bullied in front of a bunch of Gryffindors! She didn't care if it pissed Velma off.

"I'm sure McGonagall can stand your absence a little while longer. Pick up my things now, Luna!" Velma said as she clamped her hands down painfully on Jadis. Jadis could feel her hairs standing on end at the way that Velma was staring at her lividly. However, she was tired of letting Velma do to her whatever it was that she damned well pleased. If she didn't put a stop to it, Velma would go on behaving the way that she always did, and that was just not acceptable. Jadis felt that she had to put a stop to it and that now was as good a time as ever.

"I said no, you can pick it up your own damn self," Jadis said angrily as she shoved Velma away from her. Velma stumbled back in shock. However, she seemed to get over that fairly quickly and the next thing Jadis knew, she had to grab Velma by the arms as they girl came at her. For a few moments the two seventh-year girls had their arms locked on one another and were struggling to get lose. They each yanked and pulled, while the onlookers jeered.

After a bit, Jadis' bag tugged her off balance and she found herself falling. However, even then she refused to let go of Velma, and so the two girls toppled to the floor. For the next few minutes, the girls tried to get to their feet while trying to keep the other girl down. To the onlookers, all they saw was a chaos of robes and hair, as each of the girls hairs came lose of their constraints. They couldn't help laughing at the bizarre way that the Slytherin girls seemed to be wrestling on the ground, yelping and shouting at one another.

All the commotion seemed to have caught the attention of Peeves, who started throwing what looked like pastries with whipped cream on the girls. However, Peeves was not the only one whose attention was caught by the yells, and laughter. Not long after the poltergeist's appearance, a very harried Professor McGonagall parted the crowd. "What are you two doing? Peeves! All of you stop this at once!" she yelled sternly, causing the girls to stop and Peeves to zoom off cackling. "As for the rest of you, don't you have classes to be getting to?" she said, causing everyone to disperse for fear of being punished as well.

_Shit, this is not good,_ Jadis thought as she straightened up and looked at McGonagall, trying to ignore the whipped cream and cake stuck in her hair and rolling off her robes. At the moment though, the Head of Gryffindor was more concerned with watching the crowd disperse. Looking around for a moment, Jadis grimaced to see how littered the vicinity had gotten. Most of it seemed to be bread and melted whipped cream, but the combined materials of Velma and Jadis also littered the ground. Jadis frowned all the more deeply when she noted just how much of a sticky mess her hair actually was. Jadis loathed the feel of it.

"I really don't care who started this," McGongall started off as she waved her hand at the hall, causing Peeve's mess to clear up. "You have each earned yourselves a weeks worth detention and each will lose twenty-five points. Now both of you get yourselves cleaned up, and if I hear that you two kept at it, I will make sure Professor Snape expels the both of you. Dismissed!"

If Jadis thought that had been the worst of it, she was wrong. That evening she and Velma both received an owl from Professor McGonagall telling them the date and times of their detentions and who they would be served with. Apparently she wanted to keep them apart as Velma had detention with McGongall and Jadis had none other than Snape. _A weeks worth detention with Snape, wonder whose idea that was, _Jadis thought the following day as she made her way towards the dungeons from the library. Since the fight with Velma she had take to avoiding the Slytherin common room and dorms as much as she could, wishing to be near Velma as little as possible.

"Professor Lupin?" Jadis asked with a furrowed brow as she saw him emerge from Filch's office with a large trunk. He looked up in mild surprise, making Jadis think that he was behaving a bit suspiciously. Like he was doing something he was not supposed to be doing. _What's he doing in Filch's anyway?_ She wondered as she stopped before him and eyed him. "What are you doing, Professor? Are you filching from Mr. Filch's office?" Jadis didn't really think there would be anything wrong with that if he were, after all most of what Filch had in his possession had been confiscated from students, so it wasn't really his to begin with.

Remus merely chuckled at this, though he felt his cheeks flush lightly at her accusation. _Did she really think him capable of that? _"No; helping him with a boggart. What are you doing here at this hour?" Remus explained as he set down the trunk for a moment, before suddenly asking. Though it was not particularly late, Jadis had always struck him as the type to usually be in the Slytherin common room with he friends. He had only seen her around the castle on the rare occasion, and students didn't linger around the ground floor too long, at least not after dinner as there was nothing really to do there.

"I was just heading down tot he dungeons," Jadis replied after hesitating. She was going to tell him that she had was heading to detention. However, she had decided against it in the last moment. She wasn't sure if he had heard about the incident with Velma or if he knew she had detention with Snape. Nor did she know if she wanted him to know about the latter. _What if he thinks the wrong thing about it?_Jadis wondered as she bit on her lip for a moment.

Remus nodded in respond to this, having the odd sense that she wasn't telling him something. However, he tried not to think too much on it. He was starting to run late for Harry's first Patronous lesson as it was. "Well, good night Jadis. I Must be off," he said with a small smile. "I'll see you in class tomorrow," he said as he lugged the trunk behind him. Jadis merely nodded and watched him walk off for a moment with a furrowed brow. Then she proceeded to head down to the dungeons.

She had the oddest sensation as she followed the oh-so-familiar route to Snape's office. It felt like an eternity since she had last been there. As she wandered through the darkness, she felt her hair rising on end. She wasn't sure what to expect when she arrived. It had been quite sometime since they had last exchanged any words and ignoring him lately was an amazingly simple task. It was almost as though he no longer existed to her. She wasn't exactly sure what that was about, but she was afraid it was not going to last as she stood at his door, her heart already beginning to pound.

As if he had sensed her presence, he threw the door open before she had a chance to knock, starling Jadis almost out of her skin. "You're late," he said softly as he turned away and walked into his office without sparing a look at her, thinking that would make things easier for him. "There is a stack of essays there for you. I suppose you remember how I expect them to be graded. You may go as soon as you have finished," he said in a tired tone, pointing to a the stack he was referring to before sitting behind his desk and getting back to what he had previously been doing.

For a moment, Jadis stood frozen in the doorway. _He'd treating me like any other Slytherin, _Jadis thought, her heart suddenly and unexpectedly hurting her. She found her brows furrowing, she didn't understand his behavior. He had been, in all the time she had known him, anything but indifferent to her. In the beginning he had favored her. After their relationship he'd been cold and cruel. For a while there, he had seemed remorseful. _Why the sudden indifference?_

"Was this your doing? That I happen to have my detention with you?" Jadis said as she took a few steps into his office, not able to think of anything else. She couldn't ask what she really wanted to know without letting one to the fact that his indifference affected her. Something she felt that he didn't need to know and should not know.

"Yes. I thought it would preferable for you than detention with Filch or Hagrid," he replied simply, keeping all emotions from his voice. However, he didn't look up from his work. Jadis found herself becoming annoyed with the fact that he would not deign to look at her. Not to mention the fact that she felt vexed with his interference into her life. She had specifically asked him a million times to just leave her alone. The thought that he had manipulated the situation so that she would have to be in his presence for a week angered her. But it also served to only further confuse her. _Why would he do that?_ She didn't understand him!

"Preferable for me, or for you? I think you mean you, because you never do anything for other people," Jadis nearly spat out scathingly. He didn't seem pleased by this as he suddenly stood up and whipped out his wand. Jadis jumped at the sight, and jumped once more when she heard the door slam shut behind her. She had forgotten she hadn't closed it.

"Are you going to pick fights with me the rest of the time you're a student here? In case you haven't realized Jadis, you only have about five more months here and then you never have to see me again. I have done what you asked and have left you alone. Yes I arranged for you to have detention with me, but I was going to go about it professionally and not molest you. However, if it bothers you so much to be near me, I can arrange for you to be someone else's problem for the following week," Severus said angrily, though his eyes looked tortured. He couldn't see how she had changed a nice but insignificant gesture into such a big problem.

For a moment, Jadis found her heart pounding. She couldn't tear her eyes from his face. He looked so tired. Despite her anger and resentment towards him, she felt concerned. She had never seen him so lost and looking so haunted. He seemed truly pained, something Jadis did not understand. _He broke my heart. Why does he look like he is just as much the victim in all of this? He's the one that ruined everything!_

Not understand or having any real desire to, Jadis looked away before she allowed herself to become too involved. "So long as you continue to leave me alone," Jadis said, sitting opposite of him and getting down to work. Jadis worked diligently to complete her task, and forced herself to keep from looking up at him. This was something that became increasingly difficult as she felt his gaze boring through her, often. When Jadis finished her essay, she left as quickly as she could with barely a word or look at him. When she got back to the dorm, felt that it hadn't gone too bad and that so long as things did not change, a week would be easy work.

XX

Between all the NEWTs work and detention, Jadis felt that she had enough on her plate to have to deal with any anxiety concerning Velma and Professor Lupin. For the most part she tried to become invisible, and escape their presence as soon as she was able. She didn't know what it was about having detention with Snape that she didn't want Professor Lupin to know about, but she just felt that he might not find it as innocent as it was. She felt it might arise his suspicions, and perhaps cause problems.

As her detentions progressed, there seemed no change from the routine of the first night. They spoke the bare minimum and only of her task. The first couple nights they worked in dead-silence merely correcting essays. For the most part, Jadis made it a point not to look at Severus and to simply concentrate on her task. It was like whenever she was around him she went into an inferi mode. She did his bidding without question or feeling. She felt that things were easier that way.

However, no matter how much she projected that around him, she couldn't quite really get there. Her feelings were still all mixed up. Though, she did not feel them quite so intensely, they were still there. Something she couldn't help being made more aware of as the end of her punishment came nearer. Something was beginning to plague her, and somehow she felt angry that his words could still have such a devastating effect on her.

_I only have five months left of school,_ Jadis thought in concern. While to many she was sure five months was a long time, to Jadis it was nothing compared to the eternity of hell that awaited her thereafter. She didn't know what she was going to do. She would no longer have the refuge of Hogwarts to return to, ever. And leaving behind Hogwarts meant leaving behind Severus as well. _But you already knew that! Why freak about it now? Besides it's over! Better that you'll never have to see him again!_ She mentally yelled at herself.

And yet she felt a twinge of something terrible. She knew that they were done and that it was for the best. That even now there were times she could not bare the sight of him and had no desire to see him. However, leaving Hogwarts meant that she would NEVER see him again. The thought pained her. He was her first love, not being able to see his face again... it would be ad if he were dead. He would only be in her memories. The only real evidence that would exist that he had been there at all was the kiss on her palm.

_What about me? To him just a faded memory; nothing more than a dream? It will be like I never existed at all,_ Jadis thought despairingly. She didn't know why, but the thought made her heart break all over again. She hated the thought that to him she would be easy to forget, and then all the pain he'd caused her would have been for nothing. In the end, that's what she was to him. Nothing, but a brief moment, an insignificant one that would be easily forgotten. "Jadis, you are going to rub a hole into that cauldron! What is wrong with you?" Severus finally snapped at her on the last night of her detention.

The past several days, he'd noticed that she was a bit distracted. He'd noted that she made some mistakes while grading. At first he thought her brain was perhaps exhausted from all her NEWTs work; it was why he changed tonights detention to scrubbing cauldrons, to give her mind a break. However, seeing the way she had been going at that last cauldron made him rethink his assumption. There was something wrong with her and he was concerned, something that only increased when he saw the expression in her eyes when she looked up.

Her big, dark and always expressive eyes were full of dysphoria. For a moment he felt he could not breathe as he looked down into them and he felt an overwhelming desire to take her in his arms as he had done a million times before. However, Jadis was quick to hide her pain. Her beautiful eyes became suddenly distant and cold. "I'm sorry Professor Snape, I was just a little distracted, I will try to not let it happen again," Jadis replied coldly as she suddenly turned back to her work.

"You can't lie to me, Jadis. What's wrong?" Severus said, his voice tinted slightly with annoyance. Jadis grit her teeth as she stared towards the bottom of the cauldron she had been working on. She hated the fact that he knew her so well. She hated the fact that she had given herself away. More than anything at the moment, she hated the fact that she simply wanted to burst and tell him everything she felt. _Keep it together Jadis! Don't give him anymore power over you when you have gotten so close to being released from it!_

"Excuse me, _sir_, but it isn't any of your business. I would appreciate it if we could just get back to work," Jadis replied through gritted teeth as she forced herself to finish cleaning the cauldron. It took all her strength to keep her mouth shut and keep from revealing everything. It was something that only got worse as she felt his gaze boring a hole through her. She could feel the intensity f his unwavering gaze and she could begin to feel her blood boiling. _He needs to stop staring at me!_

His gaze was fixed on her determinedly. Jadis did not feel lit wane in the least. It was driving her mad. When she could no longer take it, she felt her face snap in his direction."What? What do you want? Why are you staring?" she snapped angrily as she looked into his dark eyes. Though his face remained expressionless, the look in his eyes unnerved her. It made her anger melt away, and without it she felt completely vulnerable before him.

"I want to understand, Jadis. It frustrates me beyond measure that I don't. I could easily look through your mind and find the answer, you have no barriers, your eyes are too expressive, it would be so easy. But I can't do that to you," Severus replied softly, feeling terribly disconnected from the woman that he had once completely understood everything about. He couldn't comprehend why he no longer understood her when she had always been an open book. Neither could he see why it should bother and hurt him as much as it did. "I don't want to hurt you anymore than I have," he finished. His words had been spoken so softly, Jadis could barely make them out. However, the sincerity and pain in his tone made everything she was crumble. She could feel the tears begin to gather.

"I... don't know what to do. I feel more lost than ever before, like the little bit of light left in my world has gone out. When I leave, what will become of me? I am going to be invisible, and to you and anyone else, it will be as though I never existed and when no one loves you, you really are nothing," Jadis whispered as she looked in his eyes, a few tears slipping from her own. There was more she wanted to say, but she couldn't find the words. Also, the way he was looking at her told her that she had said more than enough. Perhaps too much.

"Jadis, I-" Severus was saying as he started to approach. Startled, Jadis jumped off the stool and reeled away from him, stopping him in his tracks. His gaze had become too compassionate. She didn't trust him to get any closer. She didn't trust herself to let him any closer. _Your such an idiot Jadis! Why did you open your big mouth?! You are going to complicate everything again! _She reprimanded herself angrily.

"I have to go," Jadis said suddenly before turning around and running away from him. She bumped against a few desk as she ran off and she could hear him calling after her, but she didn't care. She just wanted to get away. Running along the darkened corridors, it wasn't long before she got to Slytherin. However, she ran straight through and to her dorm, where as whenever her mind and emotions were in crises, she turned to her vices for relief.

**TBC...**

**A/n:** So hope that you all enjoyed this chapter. Sorry if I missed any spelling errors but I wanted to put this up already. So please review!


	20. Secret Revolution

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 20: Secret Revolution**_

Her mistake and its consequences became vastly evident in the days that followed. Jadis started to see Severus at every turn. She felt as though he were following her, and every time her eyes caught his, she could see the question in them. She knew he wanted her to tell him what she did not say that night. She knew he wanted an explanation for running out on him and not letting him have his say. She knew that what he really wanted more than anything was a chance to somehow make amends or explain himself, something she had never given him the opportunity to do.

And she wasn't about to allow that now. So with great expertise, she was able to dodge him whenever he was around. Avoiding him became her priority, and so all her usual haunts were deserted. She took long and strange routes to all her classes. She even put a distance between her and her friends. She spent long hours in nooks and crannies of the library before sneaking to the dungeons with an advanced invisibility charm they were just taught by Flitwick. All this running around made Jadis more exhausted than all her NEWTs work put together, but she found it absolutely necessary and of more importance than NEWTs.

January was winding down to an end and it was really only a matter of time before he got her in his clutches. Jadis knew that she couldn't avoid him forever, and it made her feel quite edgy. She thought that the night that she dreaded at last came when she as heading to the dungeons one late night. She had just come onto the first floor when she heard someone coming up from the ground floor on the same staircase. Being as she usually put on the invisibility charm when she got to the ground level, Jadis felt her heart skip a beat that she hadn't done so yet and would not have the time to do so as the charm was actually quite complicated.

She sensed it was Severus coming up from the ground level, though she could not risk looking over the railing to make sure. In a panic, she ran across the first floor to the nearest room. Finding the door unlocked, without any thought, Jadis piled into the room and closed the door firmly. For a moment, she kept her her hands pressed to the door before pressing an ear to it. She could hear his footsteps now coming down the hall. "Jadis?" the familiar sound of Professor Lupin's voice made Jadis eyes' widen. _You idiot, this is Professor Lupin's office!_ She thought frantically as she turned slightly to see him staring at her with a furrowed brow. "What are you doing here?"

The footsteps she could hear were getting closer to the door. _Shit! He's coming to see Professor Lupin!_ She suddenly realized in horror as she turned and desperately searched for a place to hide. There was really nothing to hide behind except the desk and its high backed chair. Running towards Lupin and startling him, she dodged behind his desk and where he currently sat, to sit with her back to his chair. She only had enough time to place her right index finder on her lips when Lupin turned in his seat to cast her questioning look, before there was a knock on his door.

Feelings extremely confused, Remus turned his gaze to the door wondering why in the name of Merlin's beard Jadis was hiding behind him. _Clearly hiding from someone_, Remus thought while wondering who. "Come in," Remus called out as he composed himself, thinking that the answer of who she was hiding from was on the other side of the door. He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach when he saw Severus walk in with a goblet in hand. _Why is Jadis hiding from Severus? _He wondered with an internal frown as he tried to smile mildly at Severus and dissimulate that everything was all right. "Hello, Severus."

"Did someone come into your office?" Severus asked as he approached Lupin's desk, after allowing his eyes to look around the room. However, apart from Lupin and his things, there did no appear to be anyone else there. _I could have sworn I heard the sound of the door close and someone come in,_ Severus thought to himself as he cast yet another suspicious look around. It seemed rather strange to him that his senses would be wrong.

"No, as you can see yourself," Remus replied mildly and smilingly as Severus placed the goblet on his desk. He felt strange lying to Severus about that, but considering Severus' and Jadis' past relationship he found that if she was hiding from him it was probably not something that had to do with her breaking a school rule or her academics. Besides, Jadis' words were running though his head. _What might Severus think if he catches Jadis hiding in here? _To not shiver at the thought, Remus turned his full attention to the wolfbane potion. Taking a sip, he grimaced slightly at the taste. "Thank you Severus," he said, motioning to the potion after he had set the goblet down once more.

"I am running low on ingredients, an oversight on my part. There should be enough in the cauldron for you to be... comfortable; for the most part. However, I have already ordered more ingredients and difficult though they are to acquire, they should arrive in a few days. So don't worry Lupin," Severus said coldly and with disdain. He loathed that because of his recent preoccupation with Jadis he had not been as attentive as he should have been, and more than anything he hated having to tell Lupin about it, however, it was necessary. While the Potion would hold over for this full moon, Lupin might feel a bit discomfort because there wasn't as much Potion as Severus usually provided.

Remus felt his stomach churning. He didn't want Severus to say anything revealing, a sure risk as Severus was not aware of the seventh-year hiding behind him. However, Remus wondered what was wrong with Severus. It wasn't like him to make such an oversight with something so important, no matter what his personal feelings were on the matter. His instincts told him that something was happening, something had to do with Jadis and why she was hiding from Severus. _They practically were ignoring each other, what happened to change that?_

However, Remus tried not to think about that. At the moment it wasn't really his primary concern. He had the urge to chastise Severus for what could have been a more devastating error. However, he thought Jadis may have heard more than enough already. Though, there wasn't anything particularly revealing in anything that Severus had said. _Thus far,_ Remus told himself. "Very well Severus. Thank you for informing me. I trust you won't allow this to happen again." Remus realized that the last part was probably a mistake, but he hoped that Severus would not take offense if it were delivered mildly.

Severus turned and glared at Lupin._ Clearly not, _Remus thought regretfully. "If it were up to me Lupin, you wouldn't be here in the first place, much less have the privilege of me soothing your agony by wasting my precious time making the potion for you. So don't you dare tell me how to perform my duties," Severus hissed out angrily before turning away and marching out of the office, slamming the door shut behind him to put further emphasis on his anger.

Jadis, who had been sitting behind Lupin's chair with her back against it and her knees pulled to her chest felt her head spinning. _Severus makes a potion for Lupin on a regular basis? Why, he doesn't do anything nice for anyone. And what is it for? Soothe his agony? Is Professor Lupin sick? Ingredients difficult to acquire?_Jadis hardly heard the door slam shut as her mind reeled. There were only a handful of potions she knew that had ingredients that Severus would find difficult to acquire. None of those potions being the type that relieved agony. _Pain-killing potions have common ingredients, nothing __difficult to get. _

"Jadis, do you mind explaining why you are hiding from Severus?" Remus suddenly asked when he felt the coast was clear as he twisted in his chair to look at Jadis. Very slowly she got to her feet, her mind still a mess of thoughts. She murmured an apology for bursting in while Remus watched her walk out from behind his desk. There was a thoughtful expression on her face which made him worry. "Jadis?" he asked warily, his heart thundering with the fear that perhaps she _had_ heard more than enough.

Hearing her name once more, Jadis stopped where she stood beside his desk. She was just turning her gaze to look at Professor Lupin when she caught sight of the still steaming goblet. Furrowing her brow, she stared at the bit of Potion she could see, taking in its texture and color. She furrowed her brow when the smell wafter to her, triggering her memory. Slowly, the pieces were falling into place and she recalled one of her first potions lessons of the year. She'd found it odd as Severus rarely introduced potions to them that he did not intend to teach them to make. This year, he had done so with the wolfbane potion. It had been a rather interesting lesson, and Jadis didn't think she would have been able to forget the potion, nor how to recognize it, or mistake it.

Jadis felt her blood turn to ice as her stomach churned violently. Slowly she turned her gaze to Lupin and felt a shiver run through her as she caught his confused gaze. _Why would Severus bring him the potion unless..._She could feel her hair standing on end as he heart started to beat harder. _The wolf-bane potion is poisonous to normal people....He looks sick so often... he has missed classes..._ Jadis thought frantically of all her astronomy lessons and whether the dates of his sickness coincided with the dates of the full moon. It was a bit difficult to know for sure, but there were many that seemed to and her eyes widened at the realization of what it had to mean.

"No... but you can't be," Jadis whispered as she started to back away while shaking her head. However, it all fit no matter how much she found that she couldn't believe it. She knew the potion, she couldn't be mistaken because potions was one of her passions. His illnesses, the ones she could note, coincided with the full moon. It explained why he was sometimes so agile and quick, and others so weak. All the evidences pointed to one thing, despite how much she didn't want it to be true. "But you can't be!" she yelled frantically as her mind flashed with unwanted images of blood and gore caused by a monster that could only cause suffering.

Remus furrowed his brow as he watched Jadis. He could smell her terror in the air. He could almost hear her frantic heart's beat. He felt his heart breaking at the horror and pain in her eyes as she looked at him. He had seen it before. It took him back to his past. Soon there would be hate in her eyes; disgust every time she looked at him. It made him feel as though he were dying to imagine it coming from Jadis, he didn't know if he could stand it coming from her. _You should have known she would figure it out, you should have never let her so close!_

Sighing, Remus pulled out his wand and pointed it to the door, locking her in. Jadis turned to the door, her eyes widening in fear. Running towards it, she started to tug and bang on it, begging to be let out and calling out for help. However, she imagined he had cast a silencing charm as well and knew it was futile to call for help. "Please, let me out!" Jadis begged a she turned to look at him, something difficult to do considering her eyes were filling with tears of fear.

"I will Jadis, but I would like to talk to you first," Remus said calmly from where he sat, seeing and sensing all her fear was more than he could bear. Seeing her eyes glazed with tears tore him to pieces. "I would never hurt you Jadis, I swear," he said softly, wishing she could believe that. Jadis turned to catch up on her breathing. His words and tone struck something deep inside her, allowing the fear to recede slightly and her brain to catch up. _This is Professor Lupin! You know him! He wouldn't hurt a pixie! He's always been so kind and understanding with me, doesn't he deserve the same?_

Wiping the tears of panic and fear from her eyes, Jadis focused her gaze on her Professor. He was sitting slouched on his desk. He seemed to her more tired and jaded than ever before and as she caught the sadness in his gaze, she felt her heart breaking. _He's a good man, he doesn't deserve to be treated like this. Its not his fault he became a werewolf, no one would ask for that, _Jadis reprimanded herself as the guilt rose within her chest. She had to know better than that, no one would want that. She knew it had to be a miserable and lonely existence. Her behavior was deplorable. She was acting like the pureblood she was born! This thought sickened her more than all others. She was nothing like her parents!

"I'm so sorry Professor Lupin, it was just the shock, but you don't deserve to be treated like that. I am so appalled with myself. Its no excuse that I have never met a werewolf for me to act like an idiot. I know who you are, I should have known better than to assume you would hurt me. I am so sorry Professor Lupin," Jadis stated remorsefully as she approached his desk, ducking her head in shame. She couldn't look at him she felt so terrible and embarrassed about what had happened. She could feel her face turning red with humiliation. How could she have behaved like such a troll?

Remus felt his eyes widen in shock as he watched the sudden change that came over Jadis. Had it not been for the sincerity in her eyes, tone and contrition, he would have suspected her of acting so she could escape unscathed. But was he watched her staring at the floor in shame for her initial reaction, turning as red as the strands on the side of her face, he knew that what she said was truly in her heart. She was truly sorry for her actions towards him, and she did not seem to care about his condition. It floored him and made his heart beat with renewed life. With hope.

"Jadis, you have nothing to apologize for. I am actually quite used to it," Remus replied mildly, offering her a bitter smile. The truth was, it really wasn't something you could really get used to. No matter how often it occurred, in the recesses of you heart, it still stung. For reasons Remus could not understand, seeing Jadis look at him with that fear, hurt him more than the norm. Something he did not wish to contemplate at the current moment, or at all really.

"No Professor Lupin!" Jadis snapped ardently as she looked at him with a furrowed brow. Remus looked at her startled by her sudden anger. "Its not acceptable. It was ignorant and hurtful of me, and would be from anyone. You are human like everyone else, you have feelings, and you deserve the same treatment, dignity and respect. You shouldn't allow anyone to make you feel less because something happened to you that was beyond your control. Its not something you asked for and you are a great man for the way you have dealt with it. I have never met anyone kinder or more hard-working and dedicated as you are."

Remus felt his heart beat harder in his chest as he stared at Jadis in wonder. He'd only met a handful of people in his life that expressed themselves towards him in such a way, and most of them were gone. Without wishing it, Remus felt a kind of love for Jadis rise in his chest, one he didn't wish to analyze and hoped was merely a result of her lovely words and solidarity. For a moment, he was absolutely speechless. The fiery passion of her convictions made a blush rise in his cheeks.

"Thank you Jadis," he merely whispered. However she shook her head and told him that he didn't have to thank her. "But I do, its very rare to find someone so understanding. You are the first in nearly two decades to not loath me upon discovering what I am." Jadis felt a deep sadness to hear this. "But I must ask you a favor," Remus suddenly said, looking down for a moment. He hated to ruin the moment by turning to the business of the matter.

"I won't say a word to anyone. I imagine if Snape is making the potion for you its because Professor Dumbledore has asked him too. Professor Dumbledore trusted in you, and I do too. I understand why its such a secret and as I told you before, you are the best thing to happen to Defense Against the Dark Arts and I won't ruin that," Jadis said with a smile. Remus felt his heart beat hard to recall why she had said that to him before. The kiss. "And Professor Lupin, you are who you are. You being a werewolf doesn't change that, at least not to me," Jadis said earnestly and with a small and encouraging smile. However, the gaze of admiration he gave her made her feel like she was saying too much and made her blush. "I give you my word I won't say anything to anyone."

"Thank you Jadis."

"I should go. Again, I'm so sorry for the way I acted," Jadis said with a small grimace. She didn't want to recall what an idiot she had been.

"Jadis, you have more than made up for that with your comprehension," Remus replied. _You returned my hope in humanity,_ Remus thought, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. Jadis blushed in response, before nodding and turning to go. When she got to the door, she found that it was no longer locked.

"Good night, Professor Lupin," Jadis said with a smile towards him as she stood in the open door. She waited for his comforted smile and good night in return before closing the door behind herself and leaving. Something told her that things were once more about to change drastically, and for once she felt excitement. A familiar excitement that she was too giddy to recognize, and perhaps fear.

XX

Over the following couples days, Jadis found herself in the library doing a lot of reading on anything about werewolves she could find. For the most part, she was disgusted by her reading, which was older. There was a lost of negative propaganda which made her sick to her stomach as their views of werewolves were completely biased against them. It made them sound like they were all vicious savages that enjoyed their condition and did not have an ounce of humanity in them.

Knowing Professor Lupin as she did, Jadis felt convinced that they could not be anymore wrong. However, the more she read and the more modern the text, she started finding more objective scholars. She read of the terrible, long history of the marginalization of werewolves in wizarding society. She read a long history of abuse and prejudice against the poor souls that were affected. She was even shocked and appalled to find that to the day, werewolf-rights were trampled at every turn and the ministry did nothing to help them.

Jadis felt completely angry and undignified with all her reading. She couldn't believe that the ministry could be so cruel to their own people, human beings that became afflicted by no fault of their own. It broke her heart, especially when she read of some werewolf experiences from first hand sources. Some were recorded by the scholars who specialized in them, and there were a few memoirs written by those afflicted. She found the stories immensely tragic and she felt her heart weep for all those who suffered lycanthropy. It made her suddenly much more aware that there were were people in the world who felt as lonely or more so than herself. People who were completely unprotected and left with not meanrs to protect themselves.

For a moment, Jadis sat and merely stared down at the page of her latest acquisition. She found her thoughts once more straying to Professor Lupin, wondering how long he'd lived with being a werewolf. Wondered what his own tragic story had been. Knowing that he was the same age as Severus and thinking about what he'd said to her those many nights ago, she had to guess he'd been made a werewolf when he was very young. Perhaps even before he was a student. That would explain why Professor Dumbledore knew of his condition and accepted him.

The thought made her grimace. The idea of Professor Lupin's life being ruined when he was just a a child made tears rise in her eyes. He was a such a brilliant, kind man. Jadis was sure he would have had everything going for him, if it had not been for his condition. Instead, he was impoverished and in all likelihood completely alone in the world. _And yet he has a much better outlook on life than I do,_ Jadis thought. Her heart swelled suddenly with admiration for him.

"Is this were you've been hiding these past several weeks?" Matt said as he came up to her, startling her out of her thoughts. Closing the book shut and clutching it to her chest, Jadis looked up at Matt and tried to smile. It had been about three weeks since she really hung out with her friends. Between the week of detention, the week of avoiding Snape and the several days since she had discovered Professor Lupin's secret and was voracious for information to understand werewolves better, she had let her friends fall to the side. "Since when do you care so much about studies?"

"Since its already the end of the first week of February and in a couples month's we'll be gone and I have no idea what I am going to do with my life," Jadis replied as she got to her feet, only partially lying. However, she needed to say something that would get Matt off her back.

"Well, you don't really have to worry about that Jadis. You can take as much time as you want off after Hogwarts, your family has the money for it," Matt said softly, trying to provide some comfort for his friend and not wanting to annoy her back into hiding. He'd been quite concerned for her lately. She wasn't quite right. He wanted to get her back, and badgering her seemed out of the question at the moment.

"I know, but what will I do? I can't just do nothing at home. I will go out o my mind. And I don't think my parents will take too kindly to having a slack off daughter. I'll have marry well to earn that privilege," Jadis joked as they exited the library together. She didn't want Matt looking close at what she was actually reading up on, and she felt it best to distract him by trying to fall into their usual ease.

"Well, you could just intern at the Ministry for a while. That will shut your parents up. Won't be difficult to get you in a good position with your parents working there, and anything they throw at you will be easy work for you," Matt replied, nudging his friend on the arm as they made their way down the stairs together. Neither Slytherin really knew where they were going, but that didn't really matter. It was the weekend, there was nowhere they had to be and really nothing much for them to do.

"I suppose. Where's Pam?" Jadis suddenly asked as she looked over at her best mate with a furrowed brow. Matt was hardly ever without his other half.

"You know her, she's started obsessing about NEWTs. You were supposed to be my sanity-mate during these trying times, but you seem be going into your own NEWTs anxiety-complex. I am very dissapointed," Matt replied with a smirk as he once more nudged Jadis.

"I am not having a NEWTs anxiety-complex! I am having a big-picture issue. But don't worry, I feel a little better," Jadis retorted after punching Matt on the arm for insulting her. _I am not some little Penelope Clearwater or Percy Weasley!_ "So whats on the agenda for today? Seeing as I have nothing to do for the day, so I am all yours."

"What a privilege," Matt said mildly sarcastically, earning himself another blow on the arm from his thin friend. " I don't know. The Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw match was today, buts its over already. Bloody Gryffindor won. Oh and Malfoy and his goons got in loads of trouble for impersonating Dementors to knock Potter off his fame. Can you believe Potter can conjure a Patronous now?"

Jadis furrowed her brow at this overflow of information about the match. With all that went on besides the game itself, Jadis no wished she had been there. "But how does he know to do that? That's NEWT level work, and even beyond many of seventh-years. And its not like he knew at the beginning of term. I mean everyone knows he passed out on the train because of them," Jadis said as they came up on the ground floor. However, Matt merely shrugged.

"Maybe Professor Lupin taught him. They say he was in Potter's compartment that night, made the Dementor go away. And considering that at the Hufflepuff game the Dementor almost killed the Potter kid, it seems the kind of thing Lupin would do to help," Matt said after thinking about it. Jadis looked at her friends with a small smile. _So Matt really does use his brain from time to time, _she thought in amusement.

"Yeah, that sounds like him," Jadis said just as they were about to pass up the Great Hall. Matt and Jadis both stopped when they saw Professor Lupin emerge. After his reappearance after the full moon, Jadis felt a difference in the dynamic between them. Thought it was not t all changed from what it had been before her discovery, she felt that they were closer and inexplicably connected. They shared each others secrets now, and it seemed to her that Professor Lupin felt relieved that someone else knew and accepted him. She could see in in the way his eyes seemed to light up when he saw her, and in the grateful way he seemed to smile at her.

"Good afternoon Matt, Jadis. How are you this afternoon?" Professor Lupin said with a smile as he looked at them, his gaze lingering slightly on Jadis. He was still amazed by her. He had feared during his days in isolation that with more time to think Jadis would revert to her first way of thinking. However, when he saw her in class, it was as thought nothing had changed. She was her usual, fun and teasing self. She treated him no differently, except for the fact that she gave him many bright and encouraging smiles. They positively lit up his day and made him feel so much younger and lighter.

"Bored. Unfortunately. We have nothing to do," Jadis replied with a shrug as she dropped her arms to the side. She didn't want Professor Lupin to know what she was reading, she felt he might find it insensitive or something. However, as she looked up at him she felt more convinced than ever that werewolves were just like all other people; No matter what most of her reading would have her believe. _He taught Potter to defense himself from creatures that affect him so much. He is a great man, and there isn't a doubt about that,_ she told herself as she smiled at the man with amazingly warm, amber eyes.

"Well I am sure you will come up with some mischief," Remus replied with a chuckle which was returned by the two Slytherins. "When you think of something, try not to cause too much trouble," Remus said with a smile of amusement towards the two.

"Duly noted," Matt said with a smile before saluting Professor Lupin.

"See you later Professor," Jadis said with a smile.

"Yes, I will see you two around," Remus replied with a smile. It lingered slightly on Jadis before he marched away. He wasn't sure what was wrong with him lately. Every time he saw her or spoke to her, he felt his stomach flutter. It was a feeling that lingered even she she was gone. He wanted to enjoy it, but a part of him felt concerned about it.

"I think someone has a crush," Jadis furrowed her brow as she turned to look at Matt as he was smirking at her. Her heart started to thunder despite herself and she wondered what on earth he was talking about.

"Don't be ridiculous Matt! He's a great Professor, that's all," Jadis snapped, hating the fact that she could feel a blush rising in her cheeks. _What is wrong with me?_ In turn, Matt laughed and smirked all the wider at his friend.

"You know, I was talking about him. Now I am starting to think its not just him," he said mockingly, enjoying the way Jadis turned a red as the strands of her hair.

"If you're going to be intolerable, Matt, I am going to revoke your privilege to spend the day with me," Jadis said in vexation as she clutched her book to her chest and marched down to the dungeons. Matt's chuckles of mirth did not make matters any better. What was worse, Matt's words were starting to sink in. _Am I feeling for Professor Lupin?_ She wondered in panic as she made her way through the dungeons. _No, you just admire and respect him. There is nothing wrong with that. Matt is just being stupid,_she told herself firmly. It didn't take her too long to convince herself it was true. However, doubt was seeded in the back of her mind. Doubt that was not so easy to shake off.

XX

The next couple days, the talk of the school was of nothing more but the break in of Sirius Black. All the everyone could seem to talk about was how he nearly knifed the youngest Weasley boy. As was to be expected, the security of Hogwarts was tightened once more. "I just don't get understand it. How is he doing it to get around undetected? This place is like a fortress and he gets in and out without detection!" Jadis exclaimed as she, Matt and Pam exited Charms.

"Everyone's been talking about this for days, no one knows. The only thing I can think of is that someone has to be helping him from the inside," Matt said as they walked down the hall together.

Jadis sighed at this. To her that seemed so unlikely. Who would help a psycho? "Well, I have to go. Got History of Magics," Jadis said as she marched away. She hadn't gone too far when she felt someone clamp their hand on her and haul her into a nearby cranny. Eyes wide, Jadis looked up and was startled when she found herself staring into a familiar pair of dark eyes. Inwardly, she cursed herself for having grown careless. However, she wondered how she could not when her spirits for once felt like they were soaring. Something she hadn't felt since she had been happily with Severus.

"You're avoiding me. We need to talk Jadis," Severus whispered, angry that he had not been able to catch her until now. Jadis felt her heart pounding as she turned away from him. For the most part, they were completely hidden from view, the nook provided enough shadow for that. Anyone that passed by it could not see them, not unless they were really looking and no one was doing that. Most people were too involved in each other or rushing to class to bother looking around them.

"You mean _you_ need to talk, but I told you before I don't want to hear it anymore. If this is about what I said that night, forget I ever said it. I really do want you to just leave me a alone. We have nothing more to discuss, _Professor_," Jadis replied calmly and frankly, without emotion. Severus felt a cold stab in his stomach. Her delivery was so crisp, clear, devoid of any sentiment that for a moment he was reminded of himself. Even her expression was such a neutral mask, that it rivaled his own. She seemed amazingly over him, and idea that violently disarrayed all his emotions. "Good day Professor Snape."

With that Severus watched her walk away, feeling at long last he lost the only woman who had ever loved him. The only woman who had accepted his love. He had longed for the moment for her to leave the past and pain behind. However, he had not expected that it wold make him so disconcerted or full of an odd despair that made his blood feel like poison in his veins. She got over it faster than he would have thought she would, and his stomach started to churn with dark suspicions. His hands balled into first as he thought that someone was trying to usurp his place, and by the looks of it succeeding.

Gritting his teeth, Severus marched out from the nook and paced furiously away as the thoughts nagged at him. Though he had no proof, he felt the darkness inside him taking over, convincing him she had someone else in her life. Thoughts of another touching her, pleasing her as only he had, tortured him and convinced him by the moment that there was no doubt that there was another in her life. And he could not live without knowing exactly who that was.

**TBC...**

**A/n: **Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review. **  
**


	21. V Day

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 21: V Day  
**_

Jadis furrowed her brow at the owl that had just dropped before her. _Who the hell is owling me?_ She wondered with a furrowed brow. No one ever owled her, except on the extremely rare occasion that her parents remembered that they had a daughter. However, as she stared at the unfamiliar owl, Jadis guessed it wasn't them. They would have sent an extravagantly beautiful owl or exotic bird. She'd noticed her mother had a preferences for snow-owls, too.

"Who's that from?" Matt asked, though it was a bit hard to make out what he was saying considering her had a mouthful of toast. Jadis shrugged as she slowly reached out to untie the letter from the owl's leg before it got impatient with her.

"Matt don't talk with your mouthful!. Its rude," Pam whispered as she turned red, just as Jadis gave the unknown owl a a piece of toast so it could take off. Turning the envelope in her hand, Jadis furrowed her brow. The envelope was pristine white with golden swirls to decorate; her name was written in a fancy script that seemed too perfect too really be anyone's penmanship. However, the thing that confused Jadis most was that apart from her name, there was nothing else on the envelope, no indication as to whom it was from.

"It doesn't say who its from. Should I open it?" Jadis asked, looking across the table at the two blonds for advice. Matt, who was still stuffing his face started nodding and trying to talk while Pam gave him a look of complete embarrassment. It made Jadis feel amused about how his behavior mortified Pam, but she still managed to love him beyond measure.

"I don't think you should Jadis, if you don't know who its from it might not be very pleasant," Pam said when she was able to tear her eyes away from her betrothed. The concern and worry in Pam's eyes made Jadis feel a little paranoid. _What if she's right? What if someone is trying to cause me harm with this by having put a jinx on it or something?_ Jadis wondered as she looked down the table towards Velma. However, Velma seemed to be in a deep conversation with a boy next to her and had her back to Jadis at the moment.

"Oh, don't be such a coward. Aren't you curious who is sending you a letter or what its about? Because in case you haven't noticed, its Valentines day. Maybe its a love letter," Matt pointed out when his mouth was finally free. However, he almost choked on what he had not finished and he had to chug down some juice while Pam patted his back while shaking her head.

"I completely forgot it was Valentine's Day," Jadis said as she looked at the envelope with renewed interest. Suddenly the beautiful envelope and writing seemed to take one a whole different meaning. _But who would send me a Valentine? _Her curiosity getting the better of her, Jadis carefully opened the envelope. She was startled when a couple of white rose buds burst out of the envelope, littering her and the table. Furrowing her brow, Jadis pulled out the fancy parchment which matched its envelope to see what all this was about. As she stared at the embossed, black, fancy writing, Jadis felt herself grimace and suddenly glaring at the letter. "It's my stupid cousin's wedding invitation. Her wedding is this summer. Merlin she's desperate to get married, I thought she would at least be engaged for a year."

"Geeze Jadis, envious much? Or are you disappointed its not a profession of love from a certain someone," Matt teased while wiggling his brows at her, earning himself a glare that made him shiver. "I'm just joking," he said, raising his hands in surrender. However, Jadis' glare did not cease. Clearly, he pressed the wrong buttons at the wrong time. "Did you hear this weekend is a Hogsmead weekend? I thought I should tell you that Pam and I have made plans for V-day. Sorry mate. But I'm sure you can find something to do," Matt went on hurriedly, turning sheepishly to his plate, wishing to distract Jadis from her anger.

"Yeah, don't worry about me," Jadis replied as she stuffed the stupid letter in her pockets and tried to brush away all the stupid rosebuds from herself. However, her skin was beginning to prickle. Looking up her eyes were inexplicably drawn to the high table and soon clashed with dark eyes which were narrowed intensely on her. From where she sat, Jadis could feel his anger and she felt the blood drain from her face at the way he was looking at her. She recognized the darkness there and felt a shiver suddenly run through her. _Shit, he must've seen the letter and roses and thinks that someone is trying to woo me. _

"I will see you guys later," Jadis said suddenly as she looked at her friends and got to her feet. She couldn't bear the way he was looking at her. She all but ran out of the Great Hall and to the library, where she felt she would be safe from him. _He has double potions this morning. He can't come after me,_ Jadis thought as she plopped down in her usual nook with some of Binn's suggested reading on her favorite topic of late.

Jadis spent the following hours engrossing herself in her reading. However, she couldn't shake off the feeling that Severus' gaze had provoked in her. Though she loathed to admit it, the intensity of his gaze frightened her. So to the point that as lunch rolled around, she was afraid to leave the library and even be in the crowded Great Hall with him. _But he can't do anything to me, I shouldn't be freaking out. I'm not even talking to boys! _Jadis tried telling herself to soothe her fear.

However no matter how much she told herself this, she found she could not move. She knew that to Severus that really didn't matter. The truth was beyond his prejudice, he was blinded by his perceptions. The fact that there was no one in her life would not matter. In his mind there _was_ someone in her life, and that would be enough for him to seethe, boil and begin to make her life impossible once more.

This only reinforced her fear. As lunch started to come to its end, Jadis wondered what she was supposed to do. Apart from her wand, she didn't have anything she would need for Defense Against the Dark Arts. As she now had a free period before Defense, and had been the case for months, she normally would have gone to fetch her bag before lunch, but considering how Severus had looked at her that morning, that was not an option. The dungeons were off limits if he was nearby. And she couldn't well go now. Defense was soon to start and the risk of running into Severus was too high.

Sighing, Jadis got to her feet, clutching her two new research acquisitions to her chest as she needed more time with them. _I suppose I just have to go to class unprepared, _ Jadis decided with a grimace as she made her way down the halls towards Defense. It didn't take her very long to make it down to class. When she walked in, she she was not the the first in class, nor among the first. "Where you been, Jadis? We missed you at lunch!" Matt said loudly as Jadis took her seat behind him. Professor Lupin looked and smiled slightly at her, though his brows seemed to furrow in concern, probably because he overheard Matt. Jadis merely returned the smile before turning to Matt and Pan who were staring at her.

"I lost track of time in the library," Jadis replied with a shrug as she sat and put the books she had borrowed from the library in her lap, not wishing anyone to know what she was reading. She felt like she had only just taken her seat when the bell rang, signifying the start of class. "Where is Velma?" Jadis asked as she leaned towards her friends, who were still turned and looking at her. Jadis thought it odd of Velma to miss Defense, despite how the girl felt towards their Professor. _What do I care, better __for me! _Jadis thought until recalling the fact that she didn't have any materials.

"She had an accident in one of her classes. Fanny Weathers says she's in the hospital wing with a concussion," Matt whispered back while chuckling, turning in his seat to face the front of the class. By now Professor Lupin had already started class. Despite her predicament, Jadis couldn't help but smirk at Velma's misfortune. _She deserves it._

"Being as tomorrow you have Hogsmead trip and I know you are all swamped with NEWTs work, I have decided to give you this period to work on your essays, which you all know are due next class," Professor Lupin said with a mild smile. This proposition was immediately met with applause and cheers. However, Jadis bit on her lips. She really did need to work on that essay. She hadn't even started it yet. _But how am I suppose to do that without my books, any parchment or a quill and some ink to write with?!_

"Hey, I didn't have time to get my things. Let me borrow a book, parchment and stuff to write with," Jadis whispered as she prodded Matt on the back. Matt pulled out some parchment and handed if over as the rest of the class rustled for their own materials. Pam, who was the only person Jadis knew who carried at least five separate quills and ink bottles with her, immediately handed a quill and inkwell over. "Thanks," Jadis whispered, though she was still in need of a book.

"I think the book is going to be a prob Jadis. You know I like to share with Pam, so we only have one with us," Matt whispered with a sheepish smile as he turned to look at her. Jadis nearly smacked her forehead as she remembered this. _Why does Matt have to be such a fool? _She wondered miserably to herself. Sighing, Jadis did the only think she could think of and raised her hand.

"Yes, Jadis?" Professor Lupin asked immediately. Jadis was surprised when she found that he had been watching her and that he still bore a concerned expression, though he tried to conceal it from the class. It made her wonder why he was worried about her. _What did I do?_

"I was wondering if you didn't have an extra text somewhere in the class. I forgot mine," Jadis said, the end of her sentence dragged out of her like someone were yanking a tooth. Jadis could hear a couples people snickering at her. She wanted to roll her eyes at this. _Aren't you all supposed to be working? _She wondered scathingly. For the most part, many of them had stopped in their shifting around for their things and their work to pay attention to the unprepared Slytherin. The only ones who hadn't were her friends and of course the Head Boy and Girl, both of which had only bothered to shake their head at her.

"I'm sorry Jadis, I don't have any extras. Perhaps you can share with someone," Remus went on as he looked around for Jadis. Jadis felt a sinking feeling at this. Without having to look around, she knew who the only person she could share with would be. Being as there was an uneven number of Gryffindors, and being as the Head couple, and the twins, were inseparable, that left only Oliver Wood. A candidate that made Jadis despair, even if he were willing to share. "Oliver, would you mind sharing your text with Jadis?"

Oliver Wood was not anymore pleased by the prospect of sharing with the Slytherin. However, Jadis didn't know if it was the Gryffindor nobility in him or just the fact that his recent Quidditch victory put him in a better mood, but he merely shrugged his broad, burly shoulders. "No, Professor Lupin. I can share with Luna," he replied, trying to keep his tone very polite. To Jadis, it sounded strained and forced. She wanted to say that was okay but she was fine, however, the smile that Professor Lupin gave her made her feel that that would be very ungrateful of her. Thinking it was best to just get this over with and knowing Oliver would not budge, Jadis gathered up all her borrowed things and moved to the empty seat next to the Quidditch captain.

"Thank you," Jadis murmured under her breath as she set her things down, once more placing the books from the library in her lap. Jadis tried to ignore the looks of disapproval from the Gryffindors and the amused gaze of Matt. She was at least relieved, however, that the rest of the class had gone back to work.

"I didn't really have a choice in the matter, Luna. You don't have to thank me," Oliver replied a little haughtily, but in whispered tones so as not to disturb the rest of the class. Jadis grit her teeth and gave a side-long glare to Olver Wood. Being as they were in the two rival houses, this behavior was to be expected. But for as long as Oliver had been on the Quidditch team, Jadis found him a little more insufferable than other Gryffindors in their year. His pride in his house was exalted by his passion for the team and his competitive nature made it all the worse.

"I was being polite, Wood. I would expect a Gryffindor would know what that is seeing as your is supposedly the house of chivalry and nobility," Jadis whispered back, ending her sentence with barely concealed sarcasm. Typically, she really had nothing against Oliver Wood. She found him easy enough to ignore him as she only really saw him in the classes they shared and typically, Wood tended to be pretty intent on his work in class. However, it was like simply instinct to spar verbally when contact was necessary. Jadis wasn't sure why.

"Look Luna, I am practically done with this essay. You can just use my book, I will work on something else," Wood suddenly said, pushing his open Defense book towards Jadis. Jadis looked at the boy and scowled at him as he rummaged through his bag for other work to do.

"Why didn't you just tell Professor Lupin that in the first place? You could have just lent me your book and I wouldn't have to be over here dealing with you," Jadis snapped at him under her breath as he put his things one the table. _Has he really had that many bludgers to the head that he couldn't think of that?I mean I'm sure he doesn't like the idea that I am over here anymore than the rest of his house mates!_

"Yeah, like I am going to trust a Slytherin with my personal things," Oliver replied sarcastically without even looking at her, his Scottish accent becoming thicker. "Now if you don't mind I would like silence, I actually care about my work," Oliver went on haughtily as he opened what Jadis recognized as the Potions text. She had forgotten that Oliver took Potions. For a moment, she felt a twinge of envy that she could not take Potions. Though she loathed to admit it, nothing could substitute for being under Severus' tutelage. She could look through her own text all she wanted, it wasn't the same as having hands on experience with Severus' specific instructions, which she noticed first year were slight different than those the textbooks provided.

"That's a laugh," Jadis said under her breath as she turned to Olivers book and turned to the page that she needed. She really needed to get started on this essay.

"You don't know anything about me, Jadis. I may love Quidditch, but its not the only thing I care about. But what would you know, you don't care about anything. You're just another rich, spoiled, pureblood who has had life handed to her on a silver platter," Oliver whispered harshly through gritted teeth, his hand pausing on his parchment and causing his ink to bleed on the paper. He really hated when people thought they had him pegged down, especially stupid Slytheirns.

For a moment, the anger in his voice and the fact that he called her by her first name disoriented her. _I really don't know much about him, what right have I to judge him?_ She thought for a moment. However, it was only a fleeting and evanescent moment. Gone as fast as it had come. Instead her anger flared up at his own assumptions about her. _Rich, spoiled, pureblood? _She seethed to herself for a moment, almost balling her hands in fist.

"You know know anything about me either, _Oliver. _I may be a pureblood and my family may have money, but you have no idea what kind of a hateful hell I grew up in. I have a new flash for you, _Olly,_ money and status aren't sure-fire ingredients for happiness. It's never made me happy," Jadis hissed lowly at him in an ardent and bitter tone. "Next time I suggest you shut your trap about things you have no clue about, because I can assure you if you say anything so ignorant to me again I will permanently shut it for you."

Oliver turned to look at Jadis with a furrowed brow. However, she seemed to be done talking and was writing furiously on her parchment. For a moment, Oliver studied Jadis' face, really taking a look at her. Her anger and honesty really stunned him. The anger he could see in her eyes, thought he could only see her profile, was real and deeply rooted within her. He knew the anger was probably a mask for all the pain she had to feel. Turning back to his own work, not wishing to stare too long, he wondered what he really knew about Jadis apart from her status.

Looking down at his lap, he thought back on their years at Hogwarts. He knew she tended to be rather lazy when it came to her school work, but he also knew she was brilliant, something he only grudgingly admitted to. He knew that apart from Matt and his intended, she didn't have any friends to speak of. She was really a loner, despite what she wanted to portray. However, other than that, he knew nothing but what she had just revealed, she wasn't happy and her home life was her personal definition of hell, whatever that may be he wasn't sure.

Oliver felt his stomach churn suddenly with guilt and sympathy, something he never thought he would feel for a Slytherin. However, he supposed Jadis was unlike many Slytherins. Turning to look at her once more, he wished to apologize, but he wasn't sure he could really do that. Instead, his eyes caught sight of the title of one of the books in her lap, and he felt curiosity. "_A History of Lycanthropy and the Ills Wizarding Society Has Imposed on the Afflicted_? Why are you reading that?" Oliver suddenly blurted out, causing Jadis to jump. Immediately, she took leather-bound book in her lap and flipped it so only the blank back cover was visible.

"What do you care? It really isn't any of your business," Jadis snapped as she cast a look around hoping no one had heard. Fortunately, it seemed most of the class was engrossed in their work. With the exception of Matt and Pam who seemed more engrossed in each other than on their essays. As for Professor Lupin, he was equally occupied in his own work. Jadis guessed that he had once more fallen behind on his essay grading, and that that was the true cause for this free period. Jadis had seen many other Professors do the same in the past when they were swamped.

"Merlin Jadis, you act like you are reading restricted material. It was a simple question, I was just curious," Oliver replied lightly. Jadis turned to look at him and was surprised to see that his brown eyes were watching her in benign amusement and interest. "So you are interested in the injustices committed against werewolves?"

"If you must know, yes. I think its cruel and unconscionable the way these poor people are marginalized. Happy?" Jadis snapped under her breath in exasperation. She didn't see why he cared. _Is he just trying to get under my skin today?! Why? I don't think I have ever heard him talk to much, least of all to me!_

"You're full of surprises, aren't you Jadis?" Oliver asked with a smile, recalling the way she turned her back on Snape so magnificently in class and the way she had defended Lupin. _Can't really be so bad, can she?_ Oliver thought. Jadis furrowed her brow at this, feeling even more disconcerted. She had never had a Gryffindor smile at her, much less Oliver Wood. Sure they'd smirk, sneer and laugh at her when they could, but not SMILE. Before Jadis could think of anything to say in response, Oliver turned with a shake of his head back to to his work, giving it his full attention and saying no more.

Trying to get a grip, Jadis turned and tried to do her essay. _Don't pay him any mind. He's just a Gryffindor. Not to mention a guy. All guys don't many any sense, _Jadis tried to rationalize as she slowly got back into the flow of her work. For the rest of the class, the two seventh years worked in silence along with the rest of their classmates. By the time class was over, Jadis had finished at least half of her essay. When the bell ran, she unconsciously closed the Defense book and pushed it over towards its owner, before placing her essay in one of the library books.

"Remember, your essays are due next class," Remus called out as everyone bustled around getting ready to go. His eyes wandered around for a moment until he spotted Jadis. For a moment, he watched and wondered once more at the fat that she had come to class unprepared. That struck him as rather odd considering she had never come to class unprepared before, and it had been quite some time since she had been late or seemed distracted in class. He found it rather concerning.

"I'll see you around, Jadis," Oliver said with a small smirk as he slung his bag onto his shoulder. Jadis frowned as she watched the Quidditch captain leave. _What, does he think he can call me by my first name now because he lent me his book? He's got some nerve,_ Jadis thought with a grimaced. However, she didn't have too much time to think of this as she soon head a familiar voice beside her.

"Had fun with Wood?" Matt asked with a smirk as he and Pam stopped before Jadis, putting a small inflection in the way that he said Wood. Before Jadis could respond by hitting Matt, she heard someone call out her name. Turning her gaze to the front of the class, Jadis looked at Professor Lupin questioningly and waited for him to go on. She was a little surprised when he asked her to stay after class. However, she merely nodded.

"Thanks for lending me this," Pam said as she handed back to quill and inkwell. "I'll catch up with you guys later," Jadis said, to which they only nodded and followed the rest of the class out. Turning around and holding both books securely at her side, Jadis slowly walked up to Professor Lupin who stood waiting for her at the front of the class. "What did you want to talk to me about, Professor Lupin?" she asked politely with a small smile.

"I noticed you came very unprepared to class today, that isn't very like you, Jadis. I was just wondering if you were all right?" Remus started off gently as the last of the class exited, the last person shutting the door behind themselves. However, Remus had his attention entirely focused on Jadis and didn't care much for anything else. The befuddled expression on her face made him wonder if perhaps he were making more of the situation. "It's just I overheard Matt say you didn't eat lunch either. I am just a little concerned."

"It's nothing Professor Lupin. I just lost track of time in the library today. By the time I noticed how late it was, I didn't have time to get to the dorm and fetch my things," Jadis replied, trying to sound reassuring. However, she could see the look of skepticism in his eyes, and a somewhat hurt look seemed to enter his eyes. He didn't believe her, she could see that. Sighing, Jadis looked down at her feet. "I'm trying to avoid... _him_. He saw me get the invitation for my cousins wedding and since its Valentine's and it was accompanied with a burst of roses, I think he suspected that it was from a boy. He wasn't happy about it and... I was afraid to go near the dungeons."

Remus furrowed his brow deeply at this. He found it so odd that Jadis could be afraid of Severus. And the idea that Severus could so jealous and possessive, sufficient enough to strike terror in someone, completely threw him for a loop. However, this brought to mind the night she hid from Severus in his office. With all that happened that night, he had completely forgotten to ask her what that had been all about.

"But Jadis, you have been avoiding him since the night you hid in my office," Remus said as he looked at her with a furrowed brow. Once more, Jadis sighed. She really hadn't wanted to talk about this. Turning away, she walked towards the first desk and turned to lean on it. Looking down at the floor, she hugged the books in her right arm to her chest and bit on her bottom lip. _How do I explain this without making him think I was hiding it because something is going on with Severus?_

"Well that was a separate issue. I had to serve a detention and he had it arranged so that I had to serve it with him, he said it was to help me. We had a bit of a discussion about it because I didn't like that he was interfering with my life again and I ran off. I suppose he had more to say because suddenly everywhere I turned, there he was. So I started to avoid him. That night I ducked into the nearest room because I knew he was coming. I know all he wanted is to justify his behavior, and I just want him to leave me alone," Jadis explained with a last, heavy sigh.

Remus wasn't sure why, but he felt odd pangs running through him. _She's been in contact with him again?_ He wondered, feeling the wolf inside him growl in anger as he balled his hands into first. However, his anger was soothed as he looked at Jadis hugging her books to herself and staring at the floor. Though he felt he was a fool for believing her, he did believe that she was being honest when she said she just wanted Severus to leave her alone despite knowing that she still had lingering feelings for him. Sighing himself, Remus walked over and stood beside her, leaning against the desk as well.

"Jadis... there is something you can do to make him leave you alone," Remus said delicately, causing Jadis to look at him with a furrowed brow. Seeing the questioning look in her big, dark eyes, Remus wondered if she could not fathom what he was getting at. _Merlin, she really is a sweetheart. It's probably never crossed her mind to harm the man who broke her heart, _Remus thought with renewed vexation and yet with a deep fondness towards the Slytherin girl. "Jadis, you could always go to Dumbledore," Remus said softly, feeling that he knew what her reaction would be and fearing it.

Jadis felt her eyes widen. Shaking her head fervently, Jadis backed away from him for suggesting it. "I could never do that to him, I don't care what he's done. I'd sooner leave the school than do that to him," Jadis said in a tone louder than she meant to use. Remus shut his eyes feeling that he had probably made her feel betrayed. _You're such an idiot. How could you suggest she turn in the man she loves? Of course she's going to hate you for that,_ Remus thought with self-loathing and an overwhelming sadness.

"I'm sorry Jadis, it was a foolish suggestion. I just wanted to help, but I can think of a way to free you of him," Remus aid apologetically. However, he could not bear to look at her. He didn't want to see the loathing she must feel for him in her beautiful gaze. He couldn't bear the thought that he had just pushed away the only person to accept him since he was a student at Hogwarts. Besides, though he couldn't admit it consciously, it pained him deeply to see how much more Severus still mattered to her in comparison to everything else, despite what he had done to her.

However, his tone immediately made her anger wane. He looked so defeated again and he sounded so remorseful. Jadis frowned deeply at this, wondering what on earth she was doing to him. Wondering why she seemed to have such a devastating effect on him. She hated to see him look so down-trodden and to feel that it was because of her. It broke her heart. He only wanted to help, that's all he ever wanted to do for her, even though she didn't deserve it. "I know Professor Lupin, and I really appreciate everything you have done for me. You have shown me a lot of patience and understanding, I don't know what I have done to deserve that. I am very grateful that you are here this year, I don't think I could have made it through without you. You have become my greatest confidant," Jadis said a smile as she placed a comforting hand on the crook of his arm.

Remus smiled and patted her hand for a moment. However, he didn't think it wise to gaze at her quite yet. Instead, he sighed and looked forward. "This year has been more than I expected when I accepted the teaching position. But I am glad I've had the honor to get to know you. I think despite the circumstances, you are helping me keep my sanity," Remus said with a smile.

Jadis giggled at this, causing Remus to look at her questioningly. "Professor Lupin, haven't you figured this out yet?" Jadis asked with a great smile of amusement. Remus furrowed his brow, not knowing what she meant. His befuddled look made Jadis laugh some more. "My dear Professor, sanity is a myth. The mere fact that people believe in its existence is only further proof how insane human beings are. Everyone's a little crazy, everyone knows that!"

"You are something else, Jadis," Remus aid with a fond smile as he shook his had. The great smile on her face and her suddenly light airs really astounded him. Her eyes were sparkling merrily as he had never seen before, there was not a trace of sadness and he was really taken by her beauty in that moment.

"I know Professor, I know."

**TBC...**

**A/n: **Ok so hope that everyone enjoyed the chapter. There may be a bit of a wait for the next one considering I haven't even really started even working on it. I have like the begining written, but that was more like a draft. So I don't know when the next update will be. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think.**  
**


	22. The Fallen

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 22: The Fallen**_

_He felt feverish beneath the weight that was stifling him so deliciously. His skin was scorching. He could feel the sweat that sprouted all over his body to cool him off, but it could do nothing to alleviate him from the delirium he felt. He didn't know anything could burn so magnificently, that such a feeling could exist, such ecstasy. Yet he needed more, the slow rolling heat was torturing him._

_He needed a release, and she wasn't allowing it. Remus moaned throatily as her body slid over him slowly and sensually. He could feel every inch of her heated, soft skin pressing against him as her beautiful body lay over his. She was pressed so tightly against him that he hardly had room to move his hips to help himself. Remus simply could not take it anymore. However, when he placed his hands on her waist in an attempt to get her to move faster, he immediately felt her cool hands clasp his wrist and pull them over his head where she pinned them to the bed._

_For a moment, Remus opened his eyes and looked pleadingly up into the beautiful face that hovered there, her dark hair falling on either side of her face and flopping against his damp skin. Her big, dark eyes were half-lidded with lust and sparkling down at him teasingly. Her bruised and swollen lips smiled at him with the same mischief that played in her eyes. She knew what she was doing to him and she was enjoying it. _

"_Jadis please," Remus begged as another moan escaped his throat. She was so wonderfully tight and moist, her heat sheathed his throbbing member so tightly that if she were moving faster he would come in a second. However, she rode him with such a slow and sensual rhythm that it only drove him mad with want. He needed more friction or surely he would lose his mind._

"_Tell me what you want, Professor," Jadis purred in his ear, her voice husky with lust while her breath caressed his damp skin. Remus felt a shock of pleasure shoot straight to his groin when he felt her tongue suddenly trace the shell of his and then felt her teeth nibble on his earlobe. He tried to wiggle his hands free of hers, he wanted to touch her wonderful body, but she held them firmly and would not release them. Remus groaned in frustration._

"_Please Jadis, faster. Can't take this slow torture," Remus begged as he turned his gaze to her, but his mind was too foggy with desire. Coherent thoughts were hard to communicate with his mind so muddled. Remus was amazed he could manage to speak at all. He supposed it was only accomplished due to his desperate need for completion._

_In response to his request, Remus felt Jadis shift her body over his. Her hands released his wrist and he felt their coolness suddenly pressing on his chest. He tried to open his eyes to get a glimpse of her sitting up on him, but his eyes immediately closed in pleasure as she started to ride him at a steadily increasing tempo. "Oh Jadis," Remus moaned as she moved faster. In their new position, Remus no longer had to writhe underneath her. He could now meet her frenzied thrusts with his own and with his freed hands hold her waist. _

_It wasn't long before Remus felt his pleasure building to the breaking point. Remus loved to be dominated by her, he hadn't known anything could be so good. She was too good to him, made him see stars. "Merlin, Jadis."_

Remus sat bolt upright in bed. The morning's sun, streaming in through the window made him shut his eyes again as he grimaced. He groaned at the sticky mess he felt between his thighs and sheets. Running his hands over his hands over his hair, he wondered what was wrong with him. Already his stomach was churning with the guilt of having yet another sexual dream of Jadis. However, he felt worse about this one as it had caused him to come. He'd never before allowed himself a release to thoughts of Jadis; he felt that would be a violation of her modesty. However, he rationalized that he could hardly be to blame for his dream. After all, it was obvious that in his sleep his body had sought the release he had been denying himself for so long. Clearly it was looking forward to yet another case of blue-balls.

Sighing Remus reached for his wand on his night stand to clear up the mess she had made. He still did not feel very happy about what had occurred. How was he supposed to face her after this? He was supposed to be alone with her later on, as she had offered to come help him with his backed up grading. He wasn't sure how he could look at her after what had just occurred.

Remus supposed he could simply send her away, but he didn't want to do that. As Jadis had suggested, he was really quite far behind and could use the help. Besides, he really did enjoy her company, even if they would be able to talk much as they would be working. Remus wondered if he should feel guilty for taking her Saturday like this, but then reminded himself that she had been the one to suggest it; that he had only acquiesced because she complained that she would have nothing else to do otherwise as Madd and Pam were forsaking her to have a romantic day in Hogsmead together.

No, Remus thought, he wasn't doing anything wrong by accepting her help. Remus decided to get up and take a cold shower. It worked well-enough in the past to curve his desire for Jadis. He hoped it would work just as well today.

XX

Jadis stood and stared at herself in the mirror while absent- absentmindedly twirling a piece of her loosely-curled hair around her finger. For a moment, she wondered if she should put up her hair, but felt that would be a bit too much. After all, curling the ends of her hair and the robes she had chosen were already a bit much. It was starting up to look as thought she were dressing up to see Professor Lupin.

A grimace suddenly appeared on her face as she looked at herself. The scarlet robes she wore had a low-swooping neckline that exposed the smallest amount of cleavage. The bodice of the robes to her body like a tight corset that made it a little difficult to breathe. _What was I thinking when I chose to wear this?_ Jadis wondered to herself.

The fact was, she'd always hated these robes. She felt they were too constrictive. The fact that they were a Gryffindor color was worse. However, as Jadis looked at herself, she had to admit that the color went well with her skin and somehow managed to not clash with the wine-red strands of hair on the side of her face. _Merlin, since when am I concerned about looking good?_ Jadis wondered as she continued to look at herself.

However, she decided not to think on it any longer. Turning on her heel, she hastily exited the washroom and the dorms. If she lingered any longer, she would decide to change robes, and picking something else to wear might take ages. As it was, she was already running a little late. Now she would not have time to have a good breakfast. However, she supposed that would be just as well considering that it meant she would not run the risk or funning into Matt and Pam. She didn't want to think of what Matt would say if he saw her and knew where she was going.

Jadis made her way through the dungeons as hastily as possible. She wanted to run up the stairs to the Entrance Hall, but her robes would not allow her to as they did constrict her breathing slightly. Once she had reached the Entrance hall she crossed to the nearest staircase and proceeded to mount them slowly when she heard someone say her name in a scottish accent.

Grimacing, Jadis looked up to see that Oliver Wood was descending the same stairs with a large grin on his face. "Scarlett looks good on you, maybe you should have been in Gryffindor," Oliver teased as he languidly came down the stairs. Jadis merely grit her teeth as she continued her slow assent. However, she didn't vet very fas she soon found the Quidditch captain's somewhat burly form blocking her way.

"Wood I haven't the time to mess with inept Quidditch captains today, so do me the favor of moving out of my way!" Jadis said in irritation as she looked up at the boy's brown eyes. His gaze darkened for a moment at the insult, but after a moment he merely smiled and crossed his arms. He didn't particularly care for the way she spoke to him and he saw no reason to move. Besides, from his vantage point he had a rather nice view of her robes low neckline. _Who knew Jadis actually has boobs_, he thought in amusement for a brief moment.

"You know Jadis, there is plenty of room on the stairs for you to walk around me," Oliver pointed out. Jadis glared at Oliver, but decided not to argue the point and merely decided to brush past him. Unfortunately she hadn't counted on the Gryffindor being quite so solid and soon found herself losing balance and tipping back. For a moment, her eyes widened in panic at the idea of falling down the stairs again as she teetered back.

Jadis wasn't sure whether it was fortunate or not that the Gryffindor before her had amazingly fast reflexes. Before she fell, he had managed to grab her flailing wrist and tug her roughly forward. His hand released her before her body slammed forward into his and knocked him off balance. He managed to grab hold of her waist with his arms and fell back on the stairs, bringing the Slytherin with him and causing her to straddle one of his legs slightly awkwardly.

Wood groaned as he felt the steps hit his back. For her part Jadis felt winded at the way she crashed against the boy's muscular chest. However, her eyes were still shut tight with fear that she had fallen and for the moment she merely rest against him, waiting for all to be still. She was momentarily unaware and unconcerned about the fact that she was straddling a Gryffindors on the stairs where all the world could see and that said Gryffindors arms were holding her waist.

Oliver was the first to recover from his shock. He could feel Jadis straddling his right thigh, her pelvis pressed against his hip and abdomen, due to the fact that she had fallen forward. Her entire upper body was pressed against his, her head resting over his shoulder. It seemed to him from what he could see that her hands were on either side of him, probably resting on a step. Oliver couldn't help the shiver of pleasure that suddenly rushed through him to feel her soft body pressed against him, and he felt his grip on her waist tighten involuntarily, unconsciously not wishing it to end.

However, despite the fact that she was still panting for breath, Jadis opened her eyes and started pulling away as best she could. Placing her hands on Oliver's shoulders to try and pull away to look into Oliver's face. There was a look there that seemed blank and blissful. For a nano-second, she thought he looked stupid, but somehow endearing. When his gaze accidentally wandered to her chest and his cheeks started turning red, she suddenly felt her faculties returning to her. It was as thought her brain had finally gotten enough oxygen to begin functioning once more.

_Only you would try to brush rudely past someone and end up having to be rescued by him. And what the hell are you doing over him and letting him touch you!_ Jadis thought as she flushed with embarrassment. Her knees were resting now on a step and she used her hands on his chest to try to get up. However, she found she could not move very far away as his hands were holding tightly to her waist. "Wood, what the hell are you doing? Get your hands off me you pervert!" Jadis said angrily as she tried to get away from him.

Oliver blushed all the more furiously at the insult. This was not his fault! However, he didn't feel he could let go of her waist with her pulling away as she was; he felt she could fly back and fall down the stairs if he let go. "I'm not a pervert!" Oliver said indignantly as he held tightly onto her waist. "You have to stop tugging away before I can release you or else you're going to fall back!" he went on in constrained annoyance and as reasonably as he could.

At this statement, Jadis grudgingly stopped as she had admitted that he had a point. Once she stopped struggling, she felt his hands release her. Immediately, Jadis got to her feet and stepped carefully down and away from Oliver to straighten out her robes. She could feel her cheeks burning at her stupidity. _Why do these things always happen to me! _She thought as she looked down at her feet and continued to smooth the skirts of her robes although they really did not need it. She really couldn't bring herself to look up at Wood.

"I'm sorry Jadis, but it was the only thing I could think to do to keep you from getting hurt. I didn't plan on it. If I made you uncomfortable or think something else, I didn't mean to," Oliver said in a bit of a rush as he scratched his neck. Jadis looked up in surprise that he was apologizing, when really it had been her own fault. The way they had landed was really just an accident. _Bloody noble Gryffindors, _Jadis thought in annoyance.

Gazing up at the sheepish look on Oliver's face made her feel worse. She felt that perhaps she should apologize, however, she couldn't bring herself to do it. Apologizing to a Gryffindor was simply too agonizing a thought. For a moment she merely stood there wracking her brains for something she could say. She supposed that she could thank him, but that did not seem appealing to her Slytherin pride either. "Well I suppose we are both slightly to blame, let's just pretend it didn't happen and go on with our lives," Jadis at last said before completely walking around Oliver to get up the remainder of the stairs.

"Hey Jadis," she heard Oliver call out a moment later. Jadis grit her teeth as she stood at the top of the stairs and slowly turned to see what he wanted now. She was unsurprised to see that he was still standing in the same place and had merely turned to gaze up at her. "You really do look nice today," he said with the smallest of smiles. Jadis furrowed her brow and frowned slightly. She really couldn't care what Oliver thought and was suspicious of his sincerity and motives.

"Thanks, I have to go," Jadis replied drily before turning and walking down the hall. Her upbringing had required of her some sense of civility and decorum, even to people that she did not care for. It was something Jadis could not quite shake off. She really had not wanted to thank Wood for his compliment, but something inside rebelled against her sense of pride. Or perhaps it had been her pride that propelled a word of gratitude out of her mouth; a Luna could not be rude and impolite, it reflected negatively in society.

Jadis shook her head of these thoughts and knocked on Professor Lupin's door. She really did not want to think of the little her parents were there to teach her. It was all cold etiquette. Conservative and uptight behaviors that really stifled individuality. Strict rules that frowned upon any passion of feeling. Jadis truly hated it, but could not escape it growing up; she belonged to the society of the privileged Purebloods.

"Come in" she heard someone call from within, causing her to shake her head of her thoughts. Reaching our for the door handle she turned it and walked inside, closing the door behind herself with a small snap.

"Good morning, Professor Lupin," Jadis said with a small smile as she crossed the room to his desk, which he was sitting at, apparently hard at work already. He slowly looked up with what looked like a nervous smile. However, it slipped away as he caught sight of her, his eyes imperceptibly widening. _Merlin, she looks so beautiful,_ he thought, trying desperately to keep his eyes from drifting to her chest.

"Good morning, Jadis," Remus said when he found his voice while simultaneously attempting to smile mildly at her. He turned his gaze to the stacks of essays on his desk and handed one to Jadis while explaining what he was looking for and how she should grade them. He thought that it was best that they get straight to work. He was actually quite mortified that if they didn't, he would do something rather stupid. _Why does she have to look so lovely, today of all days?_ He wondered as they got about their task while trying to keep that morning's dream from his mind.

It was actually a relief once they were underway to find that with his mind on the task at hand, his thoughts were curved from thinking inappropriately of Jadis. For the following couple hours, they worked in companionable silence, only breaking it when Jadis had a question about one of the essays she was grading. By the time lunch had come around, they had each gotten through two stacks of essays and had complete their task.

Remus sighed in relief as he set down his quill and shook his hand. _Now I'll only have to grade the third and seventh years' essays when they are handed in this week, _Remus thought as he sat back and flexed his cramping fingers. Looking across his desk at the seventh year, he wondered how long it would have taken him to get his grading done if she had not offered to help. Perhaps all of Saturday, considering he would feel quite restless. As he watched her getting though the last essay, he felt a smile of gratitude slip across his face. _She really is amazing._

Finishing the las essay, Jadis smiled as she placed it atop the stack and straightened it out before looking up. She was slightly startled to find that Professor Lupin was watching her with a smile on his face. _How long had he been staring, _she wondered as he stomach started fluttering and her cheeks became steadily rosy. He seemed equally surprised when she looked at him and a pink tint suddenly came over his cheeks. "I've finished," Jadis said, pointing out the obvious so the silence would not become an awkward one.

Remus nodded as she stood up and handed the stack she had been grading over to him. He couldn't believe that he had allowed himself to get caught staring at her like an idiot. "Thank you," He murmured as he busied himself with organizing all the stacks of graded essays now on his desk. Seeing how much work it was and his previous feelings of being overwhelmed, Remus had to look across at the Slytheirn girl sitting there. "Really Jadis, I don't know what I would have done without your help. I can't thank you enough."

Jadis felt the color rise in her cheeks and had to look away from his intense gaze as she smiled. She could feel her heart beating hard in her chest. She wasn't sure why she felt so pleased with his words. She suspected that it had something to do with the fact that it was nice to feel needed. "It was nothing Professor. Its not as thought I had anything better to do," Jadis said in a small voice. She couldn't get the blush of pleasure to quite recede from her cheeks, and was all the more embarrassed as she could feel his gaze on her. _I'm behaving like such a total dolt! I'm not this bashful, whats wrong with me?_

"Still, I'm sure you could have found something better to do with your Saturday morning than spending it shut up in an office helping and old man with his work," Remus said with a small, self-deprecating chuckle. He wasn't sure where the words had come from. It had something to do with how lovely she looked, how her skin seemed to glow with the rosy tint that had spread over. She reminded him of a rose in full bloom.

At his words, Jadis looked up with a furrowed brow, frowning slightly as she looked up at him and saw the far away look in his amber eyes and the somewhat subdued smile on his face. "You'r not old, Professor Lupin," Jadis suddenly said clearly, causing his eyes to suddenly focus on her. "Especially not by wizarding standards. Nowhere near close," Jadis continued. Remus chuckled at this. However before he could say anything, he heard a voice call through his fireplace that caused Jadis to jump onto her feet. Remus frowned as he turned his head to look towards the fireplace, but there was nothing there but the fading color of green flames.

"I should probably see what he wants. Thank you so much for your help Jadis." Remus said in a sober tone as he got to his feet. He frowned to see that all the color, which had made her so beautiful, had drained from her face making her now seem sickly pale by comparison. He watched as she imperceptibly nodded and hastily exited, as if she feared Severus making a corporeal appearance, though it seemed had not seen her. Remus sighed as he turned and walked to the fireplace, wondering what on earth Severus could possibly want.

XX

Jadis sat and gazed into the fire in the Slytherin common room only absent-mindedly listening to her friends talking about their day. However, she had been more concerned with what Severus could have wanted Professor Lupin for. She had panicked when she had heard his voice in Lupin's office. For a moment she'd been afraid that he would come through the floo and find her there or that he would have noted she was there just by looking through the floo.

She wasn't sure why she was even concerned about what he could have wanted Professor Lupin for. It wasn't as though it could have anything to do with her. However, she couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that had coursed through her when she had heard his voice, as if she were doing something she weren't supposed to be doing. It was as though she had thought that Severus had somehow known that they were doing something inappropriate. She felt it was absurd as they weren't doing anything wrong and even if they had been she had no reason to feel guilt. After all it wasn't as though she owed anything to Severus.

She just didn't understand why she should feel that way. After all, it wasn't even as though there was anything going on with Professor Lupin. _Then why does your stomach get butterflies whenever you think about him?_ A cold and sardonic voice said, causing Jadis to grimace. The voice in her head sounded curiously like Severus. She wondered if she were losing her mind of if perhaps Severus was somehow in her head. However, she quickly brushed the paranoid thought out of her mind. If Severus could somehow manage to somehow get into her mind_ that_ deeply, he would have already gone after her or Lupin.

_Wait, what? _Jadis thought. _Why would he go after either of us? There is nothing going on!_ She shook her head. Her mind was clearly malfunctioning. Instead, she turned her thoughts back to the fact that she was hearing Severus' voice in her head. She rationalized that it was probably just psychological. She had come to see Severus as one of her primary tormentors and therefore her mind had adopted his voice for all of her unpleasant and most torturing thoughts.

"We need to find something to do to stay out of the common room next weekend. I mean, for your sake. Velma's birthday celebrations tend to get crazy. She's left you alone recently for whatever reason, but all bets are off if she's messed up," Matt's voice said, cutting through her thoughts. Jadis looked over at her concerned friend, her eyes widening. _Shit! Velma's birthday is next week! We're going to need a refuge, wel me more than them, she has it in for me. _

"Any suggestions? I mean we can't exactly hinde in any place the entire night. And getting out of the school is completely out of the question," Jadis said as she chewed on her lips.

"We could always tell Professor Snape about the party so that he'll come and shut it down," Pam suggested meekly. Jadis looked over at the blonde. It wasn't a bad idea, but she did not want to be caught as the Slytherin snitch who condemned what was usually the most looked-forward-to event of the year to their Head of House. All the fifth, sixth and seventh years would hate her and want her burried alive.

"Velma usually has look-out, remember? In case Snape makes a surprise inspection," Matt pointed out. Jadis grimaced, she'd completely forgotten about that. Running her hand through her hair, Jadis wondered what she could possibly do. "Hey, don't worry. We got a week to figure it out."

Jadis merely nodded at this. However, she really did not feel reassured. She supposed that if worst came to worse, a well-planned trip to the Hospital Wind would simply have to do. Perhaps it was drastic, but anything would really be better than falling once more into the clutched of Velma Donovan.

**TBC...**

**A/n: **Sorry for the long wait. A lots been going on recently. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I haven't started working on the next yet, so not sure when I will post the next chapter. Might have to be patient. But as always, please review and tell me what you think.


	23. Getting Lucky

**WARNING:** This lengthy chapter contains some adult content, that may be considered by some as unsuitable even though I think its quite tame. Just warning you just in case and reminding that this story is considered rated M.

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 23: Getting Lucky**_

Jadis was having a hard time sleeping for the following nights. She wasn't sure if it was anxiety over Velma's coming birthday celebration and the fact that they hadn't yet found a solution; or if it was the fact that she kept having inappropriate dreams of Professor Lupin, that made her so restless. However, it made her feel as though she were losing her mind. She was having a hard time concentrating on her classes and even in Lupin's class, the vivid flashes to her sexual dreams made her incapable of looking at him without blushing profusely.

It was therefore that by Friday's defense class, she felt she was in a right state. She felt all her nerves were rather frazzled and she didn't think that cutting or smoking a magic stick would help. Her body seemed to need a sexual release and her unconscious mind had made it quite clear who she wanted it from.

"Jadis, are you all right? You look a little ill," Pam said with her brows furrowed in concern as they took their respective seats at the front of the class while the rest of their classmates piled into the class behind them. Jadis merely nodded in response, though the truth was she didn't feel well at all. Her stomach was in knots and she had been having during the week, off and on, at different points of the day, unpleasant shocks originating from her core. They really didn't last long, but could be a bit intense at times and it seemed to her that they had been getting increasingly worse and frequent.

As she sat down, she felt another one and she winced slightly. "I'm fine," Jadis replied as she bit on her lip to ignore the pain and looked over at Pam. Suddenly her brow furrowed as she looked at her. "Where is Matt?" she asked when she felt the pain receded and trusted herself to speak without betraying that she wasn't feeling very well. With all her distracting thoughts, she hadn't realized that he wasn't with Pam. It seemed rather odd considering that they always came together to Defense class and she wasn't sure why the blond-haired boy would be missing.

"He ran off to the owlery after class. We were just talking about the assignment and all of a sudden he said 'why haven't I thought of this sooner' and then he just took off running, shouting behind himself that he was going to the owlery," Pam explained with a furrowed brow as she shook her head in her confusion. She looked around to see that everyone was already in class taking their seats and so decided to take hers as well.

_Matt's going to be late. What was so urgent, he couldn't wait to go to the owlery for? _Jadis wondered with a furrowed brow as she took her seat, though she was glad for the momentary distraction. "So Jadis, are you looking forward to the celebration in my honor tomorrow?" _Shit, _Jadis thought as she turned to look at Velma who was taking her seat next to her. She sighed unhappily, knowing that her reprieve from her anxiety wouldn't have ever lasted very long. As if to further prove this statement, Professor Lupin called the entire class to attention as the class started.

Turning slowly to look at the other cause of her recent torture, Jadis felt her stomach flutter as her eyes clashed with his amber gaze. Jadis felt her cheeks become tinted pink as her mind started to flash endless motifs of making love with Professor Lupin. Jadis almost groaned as she felt a shock of pleasure course through her just before a particularly sharp and painful shock coursed through her, causing her to once more to bite on her lip in agony. Placing her forehead on the desk, she wondered what the hell was going wrong with her body and when it was going to end.

She tried to ignore it, but that seemed impossible. As Professor Lupin lectured, she tried desperately to concentrate on what he was saying and not on the man, but it was apparent that nothing could distract her from what she needed. Even the disruption caused by Matt coming to class fifteen minutes late could not distract her from her thoughts. Thoughts that were clearly causing her arousal which seemed to be producing the sharp pangs. Pangs which she could not pinpoint their exact origin as they seemed to involve the entire area of her womanhood.

As the class went on, and as Professor Lupin frequently cast glances of concern in her direction, the pain seemed to be getting worse. When class finally came to an end, Jadis was nearly in tears. "Jadis are you all right?" Jadis was startled when she turned to see Professor Lupin standing there as she finished putting away her book. His brow was furrowed deeply over his eyes as he stood beside her while the rest of her classmates were exiting.

Jadis turned to look up into his eyes and winced. "No, I'm fine," she replied as Matt and Pam both turned and looked at her after just slinging their bags on their shoulders.

Remus furrowed his brow as he looked down at Jadis. He didn't believe her. Throughout the class, he had been becoming increasingly more concerned about her. She seemed extremely pale and the expression she bore through most of class betrayed constrained discomfort. On top of that, he was quite sure her eyes were glistening with tears now. In fact, her bottom lip was beginning to tremble before she suddenly sunk her teeth into it in what looked like to him a painful or at least very forceful bite. "Jadis, you're not all right. Whats the matter?"

"Yeah Jadis, you look real pale," Matt said as he and Pam stood before Jadis' desk.

"I told you earlier you didn't look well," Pam said, ber brow furrowing in concern once more.

Jadis grimaced at them all as her cheeks suddenly turned pink. _Why are they all asking! What am I supposed to say? My twats fucking hurting 'cause I haven't had a good shag in ages and I've been terribly neglecting myself? _"I'm fine, really," she snapped irritably as she slung her bag on her shoulder. She turned to leave, barely able to bypass Professor Lupin without touching him, and had only gotten a couple steps away when an even sharper pain, worse than any thus far, suddenly stopped her in her tracks. For a moment, Jadis merely stood there and shut her eyes tight while simultaneously clenching her first. She hoped that no other outward manifestations of her pain showed, but she couldn't quite contain a whimper of pain that passed her lips.

"Jadis, you're not all right," Professor Lupin said in a stern and somewhat annoyed voice as he placed a hand on her shoulder and caused her to look up at him. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she could still see the concern in his amber eyes. _Merlin, I'm being such a bitch. But what am I suppose to say? It's so embarrassing! _Jadis thought in agony as she looked at him. She shook her head and wiped her eyes as she turned to look at her friends, who were not standing far off from where Lupin was.

"Maybe we should take you to the hospital wing," Pam said as she looked at her.

"Yeah, Jadis. You don't look so hot. Maybe Madam Pomfrey could get you something," Matt suggested, though he didn't seem happy by this prospect as it meant going to the owlery was a waste of time, not to mention money.

"NO!" Jadis suddenly snapped, horrified at the thought of going to see Pomfrey for this. Pomfrey was such an alarmist that she would admit anyone to the ward for the slightest of things. And if that were to happen, her head of house would have to be informed and she didn't want SNAPE of all people to find out that she was getting …. well she wasn't sure what the term for it was. "I'm fine, really. Just..." Jadis bit on her lip as she wracked her brains for an excuse as she looked at all three of them. She suddenly blushed profusely as she thought of an excuse that would get any man to back off... and some girls too. "Its just... that time of the month," Jadis said, feeling like the heat on her face only continued to increase.

"Ugh... Jadis, we don't really need to know its your bitchy witchy week," Matt said as he screwed up his face in disgust, while Pam's ears turned pink and she murmured a soft _oh_ before looking away. Jadis could not stop blushing and really wanted to smack Matt over the head. She was almost too terrified to look at Professor Lupin, however, when she did, she found the expression there to not be the one that she expected. _Why isn't he looking at me like I've grown another head? _She wondered as she studied his expression feeling thoroughly disconcerted.

He didn't seem at all happy by this news. He rather looked at her like he was disappointed and a bit angry with her. _Okay, maybe that's not true at the moment, but if it were, its a natural bodily function! Why would he be angry about that? _"Umm... I have to go," Jadis said as she suddenly turned around and nearly ran out of the room, praying to whatever gods existed that another pang didn't stop her once more.

XX

Jadis wanted to cry, though she was not sure if that were out of pain or frustration. She grit her teeth and growled angrily as she suddenly sat up and and pulled her right hand from her undies and pajama bottoms and wiped it quickly on the sheets. Reaching out to her wand next to her, she immediately cast cleansing charms on her person and the sheets which she had just sullied in order to grab her wand.

She didn't know what to do anymore, she had already tried everything. When she'd come to the dorm the previous afternoon after Defense, she had cut herself and that hadn't helped. Yes for the most part it had calmed her nerves, but it didn't stop the pain caused by her desperate yearning. _Then_ she had smoked a magic stick and for the most part it had dulled the shocks, but she was still rather desperate for a release that she hadn't been able to pay too much mind to Matt and Pam and had gone to bed early.

Now it was saturday morning and she was no better. She'd woken to that awful ache and had cast a silencing charm on her fourposter and spent most of the morning trying to get herself off, but she just couldn't! If anything, she had made matters worse for herself as she only increased her desire, making it mount until it was painful but she just _couldn't_ orgasm. Jadis groaned to herself as she lay back down and rolled onto her stomach to burry her face in the pillow.

_What's wrong with me? I've never had this much trouble before trying to get off! _She thought angrily to herself. She could feel hot tears of anger slipping out of her eyes and making her pillows moist. _Maybe a cold shower will help,_ she thought as she jumped out of bed to do just that. When she came out, she hurriedly dressed in a plain set of emerald robes. However, she hardly felt any better. In fact, she was almost sure that the robes, which were made of the thinest silk, were only going to exacerbate her situation. For a moment she considered changing, but decided against it as that only meant that she'd have to move around a lot more in order to change so merely left the dorm and headed to the Great Hall.

"Well look whose decided to rejoin the world of the living," Matt said with a slight sneer as he watched Jadis approach them at the Slytherin table. Jadis grimaced to see that it was already lunch time. _Did I really spend that much time trying to get off? _She wondered as she took her seat and started gathering food onto her plate. She supposed she must've as she actually felt rather famished from all her earlier efforts. _Lot of good it did me! _"I see you're still not feeling so great."

"You should really ask Madam Pomfrey for something Jadis," Pam said as she eyed Jadis with some concern as she blushed slightly. She'd never been comfortable speaking about these things, especially not in front of Matt.

Jadis merely waved off her friends as she quickly tied up her still wet hair into a lose bun and ate quickly. "I'm fine, really. It's much better this morning," she murmured, which for the most part was true. However, she still felt incredibly aggravated by her situation. In fact, as she continued to eat she found she had to cross her legs and clench her muscles in an attempt to ignore it. It was really driving her out of her mind. It was no wonder she hadn't been able to concentrate on anything else.

Matt looked at Jadis skeptically for a moment, but merely shrugged his shoulders. "Well if you say so. Anyway, I found a solution to your problem for tonight. Would have told you sooner, but yesterday you were way out of it," Matt said as he reached into his pocket. Jadis momentarily looked up and stared at him with a raised brow, thankful for the distraction. She watched with her large dark eyes as he pulled a vial out of his pocket, all the while chewing her food slowly. "Was delivered this morning at breakfast. It's all for you, seeing as really you're the only one that needs it," Matt said as he held the vial up for her to see.

Jadis stopped chewing and felt her eyes widen as she stared at the golden liquid in the vial. She swallowed hard in order to be able to free her mouth up to speak. "Is that what I think it is?" Jadis asked as she eyed the glass phial, which sparkled all the more in the light that came in through the Hall's windows. _That can't possibly be what I think it is... Matt's not that good at Potions and that takes forever. Wait, he said it arrived this morning which means he had to have purchased it. _Jadis frowned at this. If _that_ was what she suspected it was, it meant that Matt had spent quite a bit of change in order to protect Jadis from Velma.

"If you're thinking its liquid luck, then yes, it is," Matt said. Jadis bit her lip at this, which Matt misinterpreted to mean concern about the quality of the potion he held in his hands. "And don't worry, the Potions Master I purchased it from is highly qualified to make it. So there is no chance it was mucked up and that you'll be poisoned by ingesting it."

"Matt, you really shouldn't have," Jadis said with a frown as she took the vial gently in her hand and stared down at it. However, she bit her lip in the desperation that she had to drink the potion. _Surely, Felix Felicis will be able to help me with my current problem?_

Matt merely shrugged in response. Yes it had cost him quite a bit, however, his family was well enough that he could afford the expense. It wasn't like it was going to set him back at all. So he decided to ignore his best mates reluctance to take the potion. "There's enough there to last twelve hours. So If I were you, I'd wait a couple hours more to take it. After all, Velma's thing probably won't start until a few hours after dinner, but it usually lasts until like three in the morning," Matt explained in a bored tone as he pushed his plate. He and Pam had been in the Great Hall for quite sometime before Jadis had joined them so they were already through eating.

Jadis merely nodded at this and wanted pocketed the potion. "Well thanks Matt," Jadis said as she turned her attention back to her meal. She continued to eat quickly as Matt and Pam started talking about something while they waited for her to finish. Jadis didn't pay their conversation to much mind as they were talking about Velma's plans for tonight. Considering the fact that they shared a dorm together, Jadis didn't much feel the need to wonder about it.

She didn't know how Velma had managed it, but she had managed to sneak in several bottles of liquor up to the dorm. There were so many bottles of Ogden's finest firewhiskey, that Jadis wasn't sure how Velma had managed to conceal them all under her bed. However, that wasn't all that she had gotten for her celebration. Jadis was quite sure that when she'd been exiting the common room that morning that she had seen a suspicious pile on one of the tables, which was draped with a heavy velvet cloth so you couldn't see what was under it. A crowd of students had gathered around it and Jadis was pretty sure it must've been protected by spells in order to keep them from peaking under it.

However, Jadis hadn't particularly cared being as she was so distracted. "You know, we should really work on the homework set for this weekend. If we choose to stick around the common room tonight, I doubt we'll be able to deal with homework tomorrow," Matt said when Jadis finished eating and they all rose from the table. Jadis merely nodded at this and together the three Slytherins made their way to their dorm to grab the things they needed in order to do their work.

She wasn't sure how many hours they spent in the common room working, but she knew that she was grateful that Matt and Pam were there. Considering the fact that she had been unable to concentrate all week during classes, she had missed quite a bit and would have really had to struggle through her assignments if the two blondes weren't there to help her. Not to mention that her current state didn't facilitate matters, as it was still very distracting and she found herself grinding her teeth as she worked. When they were finally through, it was tie for dinner and they quickly put their things away before making their way to the Great Hall.

Once there, they all shoveled copious amounts of food on their plates in order to prepare for a long night. "You should take the potion now, Jadis," Matt said once they had finished eating. Jadis raised a brow at this, wondering since when she needed reminding from Matt to do something. However, she didn't say anything as she merely reached into her pocket and drank the potion. Once she had gotten it all down, she felt herself shudder. "How you feeling?" Matt suddenly asked with a grin as he eyed his best mate. He'd taken Felix Felicis on one previous occasion and he recalled the experience to have been one of the best in his life.

_I don't really feel any diff... OH, _Jadis thought as she suddenly felt like her entire body were tingling for a moment. She smiled suddenly as they continued making their way through the dungeons halls and into Slytherin. Once inside she stopped and turned to her friends. While she still felt the ache of desire and unpleasant shocks of need, which had been increasing throughout the day once more, she felt as though that really didn't matter. She felt that very soon, that wasn't going to be a problem anymore and that she didn't have to worry about anything else. Really it was odd, like feeling invincible, like nothing could stop you or hurt you.

"You know, I forgot to turn in yesterday's essay to Professor Lupin. I think I'll go do that now," Jadis suddenly said a she turned and ran off to her dorm to retrieve her essay. Due to her rush to leave class on Friday, she had completely forgotten to turn in her essay, which Lupin had collected at the end of class.

"What's that about?" Pam asked with a furrowed brow.

"When you're under Felix its better to just go with the flow," Matt said as she shrugged his shoulders and laughed slightly. Jadis reappeared a mere moments later, clutching the essay in her hands.

"I'll see you guys in a bit," she said with a smile before bouncing out of Slytheirn. She guessed it was due to Felix Feilcis that as she languidly made her way through the halls of the dungeons and wasn't worried about running into Snape as she had been ever since Valentine's day. Therefore, she felt in a rather good mood as she merrily made her way towards Professor Lupin's office, despite the fact that she still felt occasional shocks that still coursed through her sex.

Before long, Jadis found herself standing outside Lupins office. Pausing for a moment, she released her hair from the confines of the bun she had placed it in that morning and was unsurprised when her hair cascaded down her back in very fragrant waves. Though her hair was typically rather straight, due to the fact that it was still damp when she'd tied it up, her hair was now curved to the contours of the bun she had placed it in. Once she'd shaken out her hair and made sure that it didn't stick out awkwardly, she proceeded to knock on the door and waited patiently to hear the soft '_come in_' from the other side before she stepped into the office and closed the door behind herself.

Remus hadn't been sure who would be paying him a visit at this hour in the evening. However, he hadn't expected it to be Jadis Luna and he felt an odd mixture of emotions course through him at the sight of her. For one he was still a bit upset with her because he knew she'd been lying to him the previous evening. Due to the coming of the full moon and his sharpened senses, he could smell her and over the years he had learned to distinguish just when a girl was menstruating. There was something very nearly arousing to him about a girl's smell when she was on her period, which Remus was sure had a lot to do with the fact he was a werewolf. Thus far, Jadis' cycle had never coincided with the lunar cycle, something Remus had been very relieved by as he wasn't sure he wouldn't be able to stop himself from doing anything stupid if that were the case.

However, apart from being upset with her, when she turned and smiled at him he felt his heart flutter. Not to mention, that for some reason or other the scent of jasmines and metal was particularly stronger on her today and he was not sure why that was, but it was certainly very distracting. The gleam in her eye as she steadily approached him along with how beautifully her hair framed her face today made his stomach churn. _She's up to something,_ Remus thought as he eyed her warily. Being that he had spent many years in the company of James and Sirius, and being as he was now a Professor to many students, he knew how to tell when someone had mischief on their mind.

"Jadis, what are you doing here?" he asked with a furrowed brow as he tried to maintain a calm and mild tone. However, he didn't think he'd accomplished it very well. If anything, his voice sounded a bit strained and pained. Something she seemed to catch as she bit on her bottom lip... an action he'd noted she had been doing quite a bit recently.

"I'm sorry Professor Lupin, I didn't mean to disturb you. It's just, in my rush to leave class yesterday I forgot to turn in my essay. I hope it isn't too late to turn it in," Jadis replied as she extended the essay to him. Jadis was not in the least bit deterred by his odd tone or the way he was gazing at her with suspicion in his magnificently amber eyes. However, she wasn't really sure what she would be feeling deterred of as she had really no idea what she was really doing there. Why she felt that she had to see Professor Lupin that instant was a complete mystery to her. It seemed to her that impulses under Felix Felicis had something very cosmic to them.

_Oh, is that all she wants?_ Remus wondered as he took the essay from her hand and looked down at it. He wasn't sure why he felt so disappointed that she'd only come because she wanted to turn in the essay. "Ah, I see. Don't worry Jadis, I'll take your essay. It's only a day late and I'm sure if you weren't otherwise distracted yesterday you would have turned it in," Remus said as he tried to look up at her and smile. "Is that all?" he asked as he turned for a moment and placed the essay that she had handed to him on his desk. He didn't think he could really bare the sight of the gorgeous girl before him at the moment. He felt pained that she had lied to him as it meant she really didn't trust him. Furthermore, her overpowering scent filled him with such unbearable longing that he simply wanted to crawl into bed and never get up again as he knew it was not only impossible to have Jadis, but wrong on many levels.

"Professor Lupin, are you upset with me?" Jadis asked gently as she approached Professor Lupin and placed a hand on his arm. Remus turned to look at her with his eyes alight with surprise and an uncomfortable expression crossing his face. He was startled by her touch, but to turn and find her standing so close nearly made his knees go weak. "You are, aren't you? Is it because I said I'm menstruating when I'm not? I'm sorry about lying to you, but I can't admit what's actually wrong, at least not in front of Matt and Pam. Besides, it's not as though there's anything anyone could do to help me, so what's the point of troubling you with the information?"

Remus furrowed his brow as he looked down at her, wondering what could possibly be wrong with her that she didn't think anyone could help her with. "What's wrong Jadis? You can tell me, I'm sure we could find a solution to your problem," Remus said as he looked down into her eyes. However, she merely turned her gaze to the floor and shook her head as though she were ashamed. Remus couldn't help reaching out to her arms and turning her body so she was facing him before reaching out with one hand and placing it under her chin to make her look up at him. He was startled when he saw her eyes sparkling with tears. "I'm sure if you tell me, I'll do anything I can to help."

Jadis looked up and gazed into his eyes and felt like grinning. However, she forced herself to keep it in check. "You promise?" Jadis asked as she looked into his eyes.

"Of course, I promise I'll do anything in my power to help," Remus said, having no idea what he was getting himself into.

Jadis bit on her lip as she gazed into his eyes, which were gazing at her with deep concern and affection. Ever since she felt his hands on her, she felt like her body was burning. The shocks of pleasure and pain that extended from her center seemed to increase to feel his hands on her arms. She supposed it didn't help any either that there wasn't even a foot of space between them. Having him in such close proximity, she could feel his body's warmth radiating from him and only increased her already tremendous desire.

Therefore, it was without any thought that she quickly grasped the hand he had on her chin and pulled it down and pressed firmly against her mound while holding her breath and blushing. "I've been needing you so terribly," Jadis gasped as with her free hand she reached out for his robe, gently grabbing and pulled him closer while the other hand forced his own to rub against her. _OH Merlin, his hand feels so much better than mine, _Jadis thought blearily as she felt her pleasure intensify.

Remus felt his eyes widen in shock when he felt her press his hand to her most intimate region. For a moment, he was too stunned to move, despite the fact that his body had immediately reacted to her action. As soon as he felt the silk of her robes and the plush softness of her mound beneath his palm and callous fingers, he felt like his body had been lit with an unquenchable fire for her. Shockwaves of pleasure coursed through him and the words that accompanied her action made him shut his eyes and a groan escape his lips. He could feel his manhood suddenly straining against his pants and his brain did not seem to be working. All he could do was feel and Merlin was it glorious to feel his hand rubbing against her.

"Jadis I can't-" Remus started saying as he tried to pull his hands from her person. It really took all his will power to do so. However, she was holding him to her far too well and at the moment, she was lost to everything but the sensation she felt. She didn't really care that he wanted to pull away, the coil of desire and pleasure was tied too tightly around her.

"But you promised Professor, you said you'd help me," Jadis whined and moaned and whimpered. Remus groaned as he opened his eyes and looked down at her. The noises she was making were too delicious and he knew looking down at her would be a mistake as it completely debilitated his will to do what was right. The look she gave him begged him to have his way with her. She looked like she was tortured yet at the same time brimming with lust. "Please, there isn't anyone else I'd want to help me and its been hurting so much," Jadis begged as she continued to make his hands rub the area between her legs.

"Jadis, I can't. I'm your Professor, it isn't right," Remus said as he closed his eyes and once more tried unsuccessfully to pull his hand away from her. _Was she really that strong, or is my will to pull away just that weak?_ He briefly wondered, though coherent thoughts were hard to come by in his desire-fogged brain. His senses were certainly adding to difficulties to his addled brain, making it all that much harder. He felt positively intoxicated by her.

He loved the feel of the silk beneath his palm, he loved the plush-meatiness of her pussy, the sounds she was making shot straight to his groin and she smelled delicious. Already, he could begin to smell a delicious tangy scent adding to her scent of Jasmines and metal that made his mouth water. The fact that it only confirmed that she really wanted him too made his will completely crumble. _How could this beautiful girl want me?_

"Please, I don't want to have to turn to Severus," Jadis whimpered, though she wasn't sure what had caused her to say such a thing as she'd never even considered doing such a thing, no matter how bad her need got.

Remus, however, growled in response as he suddenly wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer to his body. The idea of her running to Severus sickened him. He wasn't going to allow that if there was anything he could do to help it. Curling his fingers against her, he started to move his hand against her of his own accord and Jadis had to wrap her arms around him to keep her knees from buckling underneath her. The fact was, him moving against her was so much better. She could feel his thumb rubbing against her clit with more force and moving much more frantically. _Merlin I wish there was nothing between us so he could just slip his fingers in, _she thought as she moaned loudly at the way his fingers kept pressing against her folds. She could feel herself becoming increasingly more wet as her pleasure mounted.

Not being able to help himself, Remus leaned his head down and pressed a kiss just behind Jadis' right ear, one corner of his lip touching the edge of the her jaw while the other touched just where her hair began. Her responding moan and the way her breath seemed to become increasingly labored made him feel quite fevered as he held her closely to him, now proceeding to place his trail of kisses along her jaw and down her neck. When he got to where her neck met the base of her shoulder, he couldn't stop himself from sinking his teeth slightly roughly into her flesh which caused her to buck her hips against him. _NO, if you're going to do this its just going to be for her pleasure, not your own, _Remus told himself trying to reach some kind of compromise to assuage any lingering guilt he may feel. If he was going to do this it would be _solely_ to help her, _not_ to abuse of her need to take care of his own.

Jadis felt her pleasure mounting very quickly. She could hardly contain the moans from passing her lips. She took the fact that he'd pulled her so close to him and had momentarily kissed and bit her as signs of his acceptance of the situation and despite the fact that her mind had shut down, she felt hope that he was more than just accepting it. In fact, she rather hoped that he wanted her as much as she clearly wanted him.

"Why'd you stop?" she whimpered as she grasped onto him more tightly. She was amazed at how well he worked his fingers. In mere seconds he had managed to build up her pleasure in a way she hadn't been able to lately as her pleasure had only plateaued at a much lower point than this in the past week when sheds tried to take care of the problem herself. Now she felt as though she were getting very close to what her body seemed to desperately need.

For his part, Remus was trying to ignore his own arousal and focus all his efforts on pleasuring _her_. However, focusing on her really didn't help his current situation. The way she panted and moaned made the hairs all over his body stand on end and goose bumps to rise over every inch of his skin. The fact that she wanted this from _him_ of all people made his heart swell.

_Merlin if it were in my power I'd give her the world, _Remus thought as he continued to rub her while his other arm held her as close to him as possible without putting restraint on his hand caught between them. "Stop what?" he managed to murmur, hovering closely to her ear, when he realized that she had asked him a question. In order to keep some restraint, he was shutting his eyes tight as if that would help. And he supposed that it did in a way considering that it meant that he didn't have to see how succulent she looked. Besides it helped him ignore the fact that she was so young, his student and that what he was presently doing was very, _very_ wrong.

"Don't stop what you were doing," Jadis moaned as her hands, which clung to the front of his robes slowly traced a trail up to his shoulder before ghosting over his neck. Remus shivered as her fingertips teased the skin on his neck, before shuddering violently when he felt them grazing his scalp lightly. A moan ripped form his throat and the hand holding her waist gripped her more tightly. _Merlin, why does she want me of all people?_

"Jadis... why me?" he managed to moan. His erection was getting quite painful, straining against his pants. Before he realized what he was doing he had pulled her even closer and for a moment he felt his hardened member brush against her. Another moan ripped through his throat at the contact as she simultaneously responded with a breathtaking gasp. His nose was so full of her scent which was getting stronger and it was really getting to be too much. He could no longer restrain his desire for her. He wanted her too much.

For a moment, she couldn't respond. Feeling his hardness against her sent a shock of pleasure through her. It was really just too much and she felt herself shudder as her muscles clenched and she came with a very loud moan. As she came, she had to grip him tightly to keep her knees from buckling and becoming a puddled mess on the floor. Her hands were still clinging to his hand which felt gloriously soft.

Trying to catch her breath she bit on her lip as her orgasm washed over her. It was really too delicious for words. She felt she was at last relieved of her pain, though her limbs all felt as though they had become gelatinous. It was a moment before she realized that she was still grasping onto him and though his hands had slowly creased to move against her, it as still pressed against her. As the fog slowly started to clear form her mind, she wondered what to do now. Then she recalled the fact that he had quite the erection.

For his past, Remus had to lean his forehead down on her shoulder and bite on his lip quite painfully to control himself. He knew she had climaxed not only due to the sudden explosion of scent that assaulted his nostrils, but because of the way she'd moaned so loudly and the way her body shuddered against him before suddenly stilling. Despite the fact that he was glad that she was probably feeling better, he wished it would have lasted longer if only to be able to hold her longer.

He was lost in these thoughts and he was therefore rather startled when he suddenly felt a hand pressing against his own arousal. "Jadis!" he exclaimed in shock and flustered pleasure. "Wha- what... are you doing?" he stammered as she started to rub against his length. "Thats not... not... appropriate," he continued as he removed his hands from her and tried to grab her wrist, all the while still leaning his head on her shoulder._ Oh dear lord, _he thought, _Her hand feels so lovely. _

_But I can't let her do this, _he thought desperately as he gathered all his will power to grab her wrist. However, she very quickly slipped her hand out of his grasp as soon as she felt his fingers closing in on her wrist. Remus was startled when she pushed him back. His head snapped up to look at her then, afraid to see that she was angry as his back pressed into the edge of his desk. However, he was surprised to see that she was smiling mischievously at him while her hands continued to press against his chest and push him back. "Jadis, what are you doing?" he managed to ask despite his confusion and arousal. Before he knew what was happening, she had him on top of his desk, sprawled on his back. He could feel an inkwell and various objects poking his back. He tried to get up, but only managed to get up on his elbows as Jadis descended on him.

"Don't you think we've already passed that?" Jadis asked teasingly as she got up on the desk, a knee on either side of Professor Lupin's waist as she used her hands on his chest for leverage. She smiled more broadly to see the way his amber eyes widened as she leaned forward and ran her hands up to his shoulder. "Besides," she said as she leaned her head closer to his ear. "It's only fair I return the favor," she said, licking the shell of his ear while simultaneously pressing her pelvis down in order to bring herself in contact with his hard on.

Remus felt his breath hitch when he saw her moving her body over him in what looked to hims as a distinctly, cat-like movement. When she licked his ear and he felt her underside against him, a guttural moan escaped his lips as well as a gasp of surprise. He wanted desperately to thrust up against her, but his legs were dangling off the desk and he couldn't. He then realized that in his current position, he couldn't even make use of his hands as they were supporting him so that he did not have to feel things prodding at his back. He was therefore completely at her mercy.

"Jadis, I-" However, she had now placed one of her hands on his shoulder while the other pressed against his desk for leverage. _Merlin she is starting to move, and she does it so well, _he thought as he began to feel her grind against him. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as she started to use her mouth to play with his ear, before trailing kissed along his jaw and down his neck.

_Mmmm, he feels so good pressed against me, _Jadis thought momentarily as she moved her hips to press against him. She could feel her own desire returning to her. Rubbing against his hard member, despite all the layers of clothing that separated them, felt very good. Moving very languidly against him, Jadis wanted this to last forever. She loved the feel of his skin against her and the sounds that he made. His deep moans, and the way his breath was labored... was all for her and filled her with so much emotion that she thought that she would burst. _What did it matter if it was only physical? Right now he's mine and thats all that matter, _Jadis thought as she continued to move against him and savor the man beneath her.

Fo lack of having anything to do with his hands, Remus pressed them against his desk and clenched them, rumpling some parchments on his desk in the process. However, he was beyond the point of caring for the state of his desk and its contents. After all he'd already disturbed them and this would hardly make a difference. Besides he could straighten and smooth it all out later. Right now, he was too caught up in what Jadis was doing to him.

As she continued to move very slowly and sensually over him, rocking her hips against him, Remus suddenly realized how much like his dream this was. Her slow movement tortured him to the point that he was almost in pain for his relief. But this wasn't a dream, no matter how much he could not believe that it was really happening. It was simply too good! And he knew with the slow pace she set that the experience would last longer. Remus didn't want it to ever end. He wanted to be able to keep her forever. That was impossible, he knew, so he thought that it were best that he committed each second of this exquisite torment to memory and was glad for the pace that she set, event though he felt he was already losing his mind with want long before she pushed him onto the desk.

Scraping her teeth against him and receiving a throaty growl that reached her core, Jadis felt her mounting pleasure increase exponentially. "Professor," Jadis moaned huskily as she started to move against him with more urgency. Lord she wanted to have her way with him, wanted to feel that magnificent manhood underneath her pressed deep inside of her. _But no, not so soon. Don't give him everything at once. Remember what happened the last time_, she told herself in the back of her mind. Jadis shut her eyes tight. She would heed the warning of her mind, but didn't want to dampen her spirits at the current moment. She managed to push it all away completely when she felt his lips against her jaw placing a feather-light kiss.

"Jadis... don't deserve this... don't deserve you," Remus murmured in a fevered daze as he continued to place tender, open-mouthed kisses on every part of her he could reach. At his words, she felt her heart swell and tears of joy come into her eyes. The increased pace and pressure she rubbed against him with was bringing her very close to another orgasm. She felt on the precipice of it.

"Professor, tell me you're mine," Jadis said huskily, in a way that in any other person would have sounded like she was pleading. However, to Remus it sounded so much more like a command. "You're mine, aren't you?" Jadis asked impatiently, not knowing where the words were coming form or how she managed to get it out quite so coherently. All the while, she increased her tempo, moving more frantically.

Her words struck his heart and groin quite shockingly and pleasantly. "Completely," he gasped, his mind in a whirl. He wasn't thinking straight, but he knew it to be true. "Irrevocably, " he moaned at her frantic movement against him bringing him every moment closer to what he so desperately dreamed of but thought he could never have. "Immutably yours." In response to that, he received a kiss that shook his world and swallowed their simultaneous orgasms, while her tongue sensually teased his own and made him think he could die happily in that moment.

**TBC...**

**A/n:** Well hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Don't know how long you'll have to wait for the next. Anyway as always, please leave a review.


	24. Gryffindor Feeling

**Dagger Collector**

_**Chapter 24: Gryffindor Feeling**_

_Jaids stood, pressed against the wall, a tall man before her. The man's head was bend down against her neck and he could discern who the man was. He could only see Jadis beyond this unknown man's large frame because he was holding her up. Her legs and arms were wrapped around this strange man, her head tossed back against the wall she was pressed against as her yes were half-lidded in lust. The pair were completely oblivious to the third party watching them, so caught up in their lust they were that they didn't notice. _

_He felt sickened watching the way her lips were slightly parted. He could see the way her hips gyrated to men the man's thrust and he felt all the worse. He wanted to move forward and put an end to it. However, he was hopelessly helpless. He didn't exist. There was nothing he could to to stop it. He was nothing. _

_He wanted to look away. Wanted to be eaten by the earth and swallowed hole to escape the horrid sight. He felt that anything would be better than watching the scene before him which caused his stomach to violently revolt. He wanted something to stop the growing ache in his chest. But even then he was powerless to do anything. He had to watch the scene, watch their mutual pleasure, be forced to realize that she not only no longer needed him, but didn't even want him. She had someone else and he... he head nothing because he was nothing. _

_But then, why could he still feel if he were nothing?What was the point of being nothing, if you still felt the pain of being human?_

Severus bolted upright, feeling very groggy, but also very nauseous. Lately, his nights were consumed by insomnia. Tonight he had gone to sleep very early in the hopes of catching up on much needed sleep. He was aggravated to have his sleep robbed from him by such an unpleasant dream. He felt incredibly abused and battered by his unconscious. Why would it torment him with imaged that reflected all of his waking thoughts? It appeared that even in his sleep he could not escape his daily bane, and that's just what Jadis had become, the bane of his existence.

He cared for her more deeply than for anything else living. And Merlin he knew how much he wanted her, but that was not enough. Jadis deserved more. That was why he let her go. She couldn't have had any sort of life with him. But the thought of her already finding someone else killed him. He couldn't bare to witness that! He couldn't bare to see her move on. He wanted that for her, and wanted her to be happy, but he didn't want to see it. He couldn't!

Severus groaned as he turned and lay back down, this time on his stomach. He buried his head beneath a pillow and vaguely wondered what time it was. It was hard to tell considering his private quarters were in the dungeons and therefore always pitch black, that is unless the lights were on. His internal clock, which was quite always spot on, told him it was most likely only one in the morning. Though he supposed that meant he had sleep about five hours as he went to sleep exceptionally early.

Bitterly, Severus chided himself for being a feeling fool. He should have been selfish and waited to dump Jadis when she finished her seventh year. At least than he would be able to enjoy of her company and afterward wouldn't have had to worry about seeing her or _even_ _hearing_ about her finding someone else, which was bound to happen. Girls stunningly-beautiful, pureblood and rich like Jadis was, did not remain single long and _never_ went unmarried. Especially not when they had the brilliance and humor that Jadis did.

However, Severus wasn't _that_ man. Sure he was cruel and a sadist most of the time, and had once wanted power and fame more than anything, but he wasn't the type to have wanted it by a woman. And his love for her, though not what it had been for Lily, was still great enough to recognize he had to let her goo sooner rather than later. He couldn't allow himself to lead her along for a full year simply because he wanted to keep her from finding someone while she was at school. He had tone the right thing, even if it was un-Slytherin of him.

_I did the right thing, _ he told himself angrily to bite back the the mocking laughter that rang inside his head and told him that what he had done was incredibly, foolishly, and stupidly Gryffindor; just like agreeing to Dumbledore to protected Potter after Lily was already dead. At least when he'd sought out Dumbledore to begin with there was some ulterior motive, some hope of attaining Lily for himself in the end. _This,_what he had done for Jadis, had not benefit for him. It was disgustingly noble; a very Gryffindor actions if ever there was one.

"But I didn't the right thing," he murmured dejectedly to the darkness that engulfed him, hoping that saying the word aloud would provide him with some comfort. _Then why do you feel like shit? _A voice in the back of his mind asked. _Because doing the right thing isn't always the easiest thing to do, _he reminded himself as he briefly recalled something that Albust had once said to him. He loathed it coming from himself as much as he had when it had come from Dumbledore's mouth.

Severus pulled his head out from under the pillow and rolled back onto his back. The night was very cold and despite lying between his sheets and laying beneath his black comforter, his limbs still felt quite cool. It was something he'd never minded when laying in his large bed. Actually once he'd kind of enjoyed it. Now, however, thanks to Jadis, he loathed it. It reminded him of his solitary condition. It made him long for the days and nights that he had shared it with Jadis.

_Oh and what times those were, _he thought with a small smile as he recalled the moderate warmth her body provided when simply curled into his and the passionate heat she caused when they had sex. He loved sharing his bead with her, and his eyes adored the things she wore to bed. Being who she was, her wardrobe consisted of some of the most exquisite, expensive and arousing lingerie he had ever seen. She owned a large variety, in every color or silk, lace and satin garments, that included bikini bottoms, boy-shorts, thongs, bras and negligee. Equally, she had garter belts, thigh-high stockings, and heels in every color to match; all of which made her already mouth-watering long legs look even longer and that much more enticing.

Oh Jadis was every bit the pureblood princess that Narcissa Malfoy, then Black in their years at Hogwarts, had been. Only Jadis did not act like an ice-queen or like she had a wand shoved up her ass. However, that did not change the fact that she was the type of Slytheirn girl that in his youth he could not even _dream_ of attaining. She'd have been out of his league then. Hell she was out of his league _now_. Perhaps that was why he was powerless when it had come to resisting her; why he was so drawn to her. She was really the kind of girl that was supposed to go for the likes of the Malfoys or Blacks, but instead she had chosen _him_. Inexplicably she had descended to his level and chose him!

She was a little queen in-the-making. All the statues, power and fortune he'd ever desired was embodies in this beautiful girl. How could he have resisted? But then it was so much more than that. She was intelligent and somehow the perfect mis of strength and vulnerability. To top it all, the girl was sweetness and love, ad he'd never before seen in any Slytheirn pureblood. And those large, soulful eyes saw beyond status, saw beyond the physical, saw beyond facades. She'd fallen for him and that made her all the more precious to him.

Jadis was more to him than a prize that should have always been unattainable. And thought he loathed to admit it, he'd never considered those things before this night. Yes, he'd acknowledges what a Slytheirn Princess she was from the moment he laid eyes on the little runt that she was when she was eleven. But what had caught his attention first was the amazing grace and preciseness of her hands when she prepared her potions. It was her brilliance and humor. Her respect for him despite her mischievous and sometimes rebellious nature. And it was the determined woman she grew to be that he'd fallen for.

Severus groaned and shut his eyes tight as he once more turned and buried his face in the pillow. He lamented what he'd given up, but he once more told himself it was the right thing to do. He couldn't keep Jadis around just because she was what any man would dream of. That wasn't love. Jadis deserved to be loved. She deserved to be treated like a queen and Severus could never do that. It wasn't in him to be a devoted slave to someone, not even if he loved her as much as he did.

XX

Velma's birthday celebration was surprisingly uneventful and tame. There were a few arguments, fights and drama's, but none of them had thankfully involved Jadis. She supposed that was all thanks to Felix Felicis and Matt who had attained the potion for her. However, as the weekend concluded and a new week of classes began, she was beginning to wonder about the events that occurred early on in the evening with Professor Lupin. The last bit in particular.

They had kissed, Jadis moving against him until she was sure that she had completely ridden out their orgasms. She had pulled away when she stopped moving, and merely leaned her forehead against his as they both closed their eyes to savor what just had happened while trying to catch their breaths. They could feel each others breath on each others face as they panted, and it was hot and sweet.

Jadis had been the first to recover. She smiled brilliantly at him as she opened her eyes to look down at him, but she would not remove her forehead from his just yet. Nor had her hands the capability of unsnaking from around his person, or her hands able to dislodge form the silky locks of his hair. She was sure her eyes had to be shining like mad, just like she was sure that the smile on her face could not be anything but bright. "That was amazing," she whispered huskily, causing his eyes to snap open and look up at her. She could see the guilt that immediately came into his magnificently amber eyes as his cheeks flushed. He opened his mouth to say something, but she quickly placed her index finger against his lips to quiet him.

"You are _not_ going to apologize for what happened because it's what _I_ wanted. _We_ are not going to pretend this never happened. _You_ are not going to start avoiding me. And we are _not_ going to allow this to make things awkward between us. If you violate any of these terms, I'm going to have to punish you. Have I made myself clear?" Jadis said as she tilted her head and smiled at him in a way that made his mouth water. Her tone was stern and yet sweet and teasing. Remus could only nod in response. "Good," she said with another brilliant smile as she leaned down and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. "Now I have to run before Matt and Pam start wondering where I have disappeared to for so long," she said as she got off him and straightened herself out, pulling out her wand to do so. She gave him one last wicked smile before exiting his office and shutting the door behind herself.

As Defense Class drew closer, she couldn't help but wonder whether or not he was going to comply with her demands. She somehow doubted that he would, as it just seemed in human nature for things of a sexual nature to lead to awkwardness and consequently to avoidance of that person. Especially as she didn't see him during meal time the rest of the weekend or on Monday and Tuesday. She was beginning to suspect that he was really avoiding her and if that were the case, she wasn't sure how she was going to punish him. However, she supposed that she had time to think of a suitable way to punish him seeing as she had to make sure of the fact and the only was to be sure was to interact with him.

In the meantime, she found herself wondering about the things that he had said. She supposed that his reluctance had been because of the fact that it was so inappropriate considering the fact that he was her Professor. After all, didn't his compliance and the fact that he bit and kissed her neck imply that he wanted her just as much as she wanted him? However, the things that he had said seemed to mean so much more and it had her wondering whether or not perhaps he felt more for her.

_Don't be an idiot, Jadis, he could have just been saying those things_, she told herself firmly. Though, she knew he would never lie to her the circumstance changed mattered. In the heat of passion, people were prone to admit or acquiesce to anything, especially men. Therefore, she couldn't hold him accountable for his words nor allow hope that they were true grip her. That would be very foolish and dangerous.

Nor could Jadis admit to herself that the event arose due to anything more than desire and Felix Felicis. She could admit to carnally desiring Professor Lupin. She could not admit to wanting more form him than his friendship and body. She could't admit that she loved him and wanted desperately to be with him. At least not until knowing what it was he felt and wanted from her, because she knew he would never hurt her the way Severus had.

When the moment of truth came, Jadis wasn't exactly disappointed by what she encountered. When Jadis, Matt and Pam strolled into Defense class Professor Lupin was making himself busy at his desk... organizing it and did not look at them, though they weren't exactly the first in the class. Jadis merely raised a brow at this, however, merely took her seat. _Maybe her really is just straightening his desk, _she thought for a moment, still trying to hold on to some hope.

However, once class started, she was sure he _was_ avoiding her. It became blatantly obvious when he handed Jadis her terribly wrinkled essay as he blushed profusely and could not look her in the eyes. _Great, now I'm going to have to sort him out_, Jadis thought as she sighed heavily. However, she couldn't help the smile when she saw the perfect score at the top of her essay. Especially as the wrinkles were a reminder of the time they had together saturday evening.

For the rest of class Jadis tried her best to concentrate on the lesson, but felt that really her mind was free to wander as Professor Lupin couldn't quite bring himself to look at her. Besides, she had more pressing matters to attend to. Like how she was going to punish Professor Lupin and get him to get over whatever qualm he was having with what they did. _Merlin its not like we even had sex! And even if we had, its not like it would have been my first time or like I was some innocent he was taking advantage of, _Jadis thought.

Remus on the other hand felt that the past couple days had evaporated too quickly. Despite agreeing to Jadis' request, he couldn't help feeing guilty for what had occurred. While the full moon had provided a momentary reprieve from the gnawing guilt, his return to human form was inevitable. In order to not think of the even he'd buried himself in his grading but even that could not stop the flashbacks that lit his being on fire with loinging but also with deep contrition.

Thought Remus thought the even to be one of the loveliest in his life, he almost wished he'd put a stop to it. Now, as a result of his lack of self-control, he wasn't sure how to act around Jadis. She was his student! He should have never allowed such an impropriety to occur. He was an adult and an authority figure, his behavior had been simply unacceptable! Now, he felt the most prudent thing to do was to distance himself from her, because he couldn't allow the same to be repeated. A thought that was quite unpleasant as Jadis was the closest thing he had to a real friend since he was in his early twenties.

Remus felt the pangs of a great loss, and it really made it hard to concentrate. However, he supposed h should be used to that. Jadis had been quite the distraction to him from the first moment they became acquainted, since even before he started to feel anything for her. _What do I feel for her? _Remus wondered distractedly for a moment. _Oh you know perfectly well, _something inside his head snapped vexedly, causing his stomach to churn.

Yes, he was well aware of what he felt for Jadis, The intimacy he'd caved to was proof of the madness that were his feelings for her. He loved the girl, and it wasn't just the love one had for a dear friend as much as he wished it were. But what he felt for her was the kind of love that people dreamed of and freaced all at once. The kind of love that became the very air you breathed; the kind that rendered one a slav. He wasn't lying to her when he told her that he was _completely, irrevocably, immutably hers_. He'd spoken from the bottom of his damned, utterly foolish heart.

How could someone as young and beautiful as Jadis feel the same for him? The girl was rich, brilliant and completely charming. Why would she ever be interested in the likes of him? _Well... she did fall in love with Severus, _he reminded himself. However, he shook his head of this. It was really irrelevant seeing as how even if she were interested in him in a way that was beyond the physical, nothing could happen. She was his student and really any form of relationship beyond what was stictly professional was wrong.

"Professor?"

Remus shook his head and snapped out of his thoughts. "What? Sorry, where was I?" Remus said, realizing that he'd probably spaced out. As percy responded, Remus wondered how long he had spaced for and shook his head. _This is getting ridiculous, _he thought. For the remained of the period he forced himself to stop thinking about Jadis. He was going to drive himself insane if he went on this way. Not to mention he would probably get himself fired. It was simply not acceptable.

When class finally came to an end Remus almost sighed in relief. For the most part he'd managed to keep his gaze from wandering over to Jadis, a task of some difficulty despite how embarrassed he was. However, as class concluded he couldn't help the way that his gaze wandered over to her. He was just so damn curious as to how she felt about the whole matter now that she had time to consider things rationally.

Remus grimaced to see that she was rather unfocused, and assumed that she had been so throughout the entire lesson. He watched in mild vexation as Matt shook Jadis out of her reverie so she could realize that class was over. _If I didn't allow things to get out of hand, Jadis would not be so distracted, _he thought as Jadis looked around briefly before turning her gaze to him. As amber eyes met black, Remus felt himself blushing to which Jadis responded by merely raising a black brow as the corners of her mouth turned up slightly.

_Why does she look as though what happened merely amuses her, _Remus wondered as he averted his gaze and turned, pretending to busy himself with something on his desk. The three Slytherins were hardly the last students in the class as many others were still gathering their things and exiting. When Remus finally heard the classroom door shut behind the last student, he was almost afraid of looking up as Jadis had promised to punish him if he started to act differently towards her. When he at last gathered him Gryffindor courage to look up, he was relieved but also disappointed to find that the classroom was completely empty for but himself. _Probably for the best, _he thought with a heavy sigh. However, very deep inside where Remus tried to contain any of his selfishness, he hoped that this was the end of whatever had started between himself and Jadis.

_**TBC...**_

_**A/n:**_ Sorry for the long wait. Had this written for a while, but wasn't sure the chapter was really complete and felt that I should add something to it, but can't think of anything more to add to it at the moment. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it and remember to review!


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