Hana Yori Dango 1. Chapter 1 The accident

Sorry I don't own Hana Yori Dango, just a big fan of the story.

Hope you guys enjoy, **please review**~~~!

Ch1. The accident

_I love you…tsukasa…._

Tsukasa eyes shot open as the whisper in his ears died. Dead silence follow, darkness and the spaciousness of the large room only cave in on him, her absence was intimidating.

he lulled his heavy body off the bed, sliding his feet to the marble coolness. The coldness of December night brought nothing but pain.

Yes, he's alone right now, so desperate for her, yet fearful to meet her.

Her.

His Tsukushi.

He could just remember the past few month of horror, the excruciating pain of hearing her accident. It was the panic, the anxiety and distress of waiting outside the emergency room unnerved him to no end. The loudness of the ticking elegant swiss watch had him smashed it to pieces. His outlet of anger at the two hundred grand watch did not serve its purpose, rather it only further aggravated him, as the uneasy silence filled in. Nothing was louder than that. It was practically shouting in his face, as he could only worriedly pace back and forth at the emergency room entrance.

His friends could only look on, none were even attempting to calm him, as they knew nothing would work, and may even anger him more.

Yuki silently sobbed into Soujirou's chest, her shivering body was held tightly in his strong arms, as if he was willing away this situation, this fear that is foreboding in all their hearts.

Rui stared spaciously into the white wall, expressionless, and still. To others they may think he was simply in peace living in his own world, but on a closer look, the mismatch shoes, and untied laces, were too out of character told them otherwise. The slight trembling in his fingers only proves to show that he was in as much misery as Tsukasa was.

They waited what seems like an eternity before the light turned green and a nurse rushed out. Sweat covers her as she came to meet them. All of them rushed forward, hoping to gain some information on how Tsukushi is doing, and whether if she will survive. The doctor followed over after Tsukasa impatience got the better of him, and he started gripping and shaking the nurses' shoulder while he shouted out his questions.

"She is stabilized, but we will need to keep her in the hospital for a few days to monitor her health, and run a few more test on her."

"Can we see her?" came the meek voice of the desperate yuki whose strength seem to have left her, making her fully lean into Soujiro's support.

"Yes, once we have her transfer into a patient room, then you may," said the doctor as he walked away. The emergency door slid open and the others struck by the severity of the situation watched silently as a team of nurses' wheel out Tsukushi. With a rush, Tsukasa followed leaving behind relieved F4s, makino's family and yuki.

Rui slumped down onto the ground, leaning fully against the wall, he looked small compare to his usual tall stature. Everyone turn and stared at him, he slowly let out a relief chuckle, before his trembling hand pulled down his hood that covered his tear stained face.

Tsukushi…I miss you…

Tsukusa could only think this over and over, as he intimately held her small hand in his, carefully tracing each contour and lines of her palm.

It was 3 month, 3 days and 10 hour since Tsukushi has fallen into this state of unconsciousness. Yes she was in and out of her coma. For the first two month the others watch was pity in their eyes at Tsukasa, trying to get him to leave her side for rest and sleep, but he was reluctant. It was on the third month, after Soujiro convinced him that Tsukushi might find his unclean appearance repulsive did he return for brief shower. Work in New York were held off, leaving it temporary in the hands of his mother, as he attend to Tsukushi like a maid.

During the whole time Tsukushi stayed in the hospital, Tsukasa never really left. News were spread soon that the great Domyouji was staying there for the long term.

News spread, and soon his secretaries and Business associated came flocking by to give him their condolences and as well to bring attention to their own companies.

It had shocked his business partners, when they saw the great Domyouji wiping the face of his unconscious lover. It had scared his lawyer when he began combing through her hair. Every little detail and attention was all focus on the lady in the bed. His large clumsy hands fumble with each small task he executed out. This was all he could do to calm his anxiety and worries at the circumstance he has fallen in. Rui visited often, checking briefly on him, and nagging him to take a shower before Tsukushi awakes.

It was soon spring, and as Tsukasa once again began clumsily combing through her hair, did a lone tear fell from his face. Like a miracle the small weak hand that he held gripped weakly in his, and the eyes that he often find himself drowning in, opened.

"_Tsukasa….?"_

_-to be continued-_

_Please review thanks~~!_

_Reviews are very much appreciated!_


	2. Chapter 2 Three years ago

Sorry I don't own hanayori dango, just a big fan of the story.

Hope you guys enjoy, please review~~~!

Ch2. 3 years ago

3 years ago, when he wed his beloved Tsukushi, he claimed to the world that he was the happiest man he could be. Married at the age of 23, just fresh out from graduating of Etoku university life, Makino Tsukushi finally became Mrs. Domyouji. Their wedding was as grand and as extravagant as his name is known to be. Even though Tsukasa was young and still arrogant to his core, he was still a Domyouji; the important part of the world's economy still rests on his shoulders.

Their marriage life was anything but the peaceful life that Tsukushi had hope for. Rather, the high school drama not only escalates into a grander scale with many dangers lurking behind them at all times. However, Tsukushi would always compromise, being more adaptive to their circumstances. She was still positive, still optimistic enough to smooth out the crinkle between his furrowed brows.

Their first few months as newlyweds were filled with fever passion and love. They clung to each other each night as if their life depended on it. Whispers for only the two to hear and kisses in the dead of the night was the usual and most sought out thing they did when their alone. Flirtatious glint in their eyes and the usual sensual craving they have for each other were all too open for all to see. In everyone's eyes they were the perfect couple, the destine soul mate for each other.

Each day was as fulfilling as the other; she was his lover, his friend and his teacher. Being the adult as he was, he still sought for her care and attention like a child. Their frequent bickering and stubbornness made them fight over trivial matters leaving the maids and butlers speechless. Fortunately, each time Tsukasa would give in and plead for compromise by the end of the day. As if to make up for hurting each other, behind the carelessly shut door, passionate frenzy of their love could not muffle out the their sweet ecstasy down the halls.

It was yet another restless night with them tangled intimately to one another. A soft snore left the exhausted Tsukasa, as Tsukushi tilt to observe him in the aftermath of their madness for each other.

She never thought she could love anyone as much as she loved him. With careful attentiveness, Tsukushi slowly smoothed out a curl from his face, and lightly traced her fingers along his brow and other facial feature of his face. Smiling to herself, she snuggled closer to him, watchful of his calm feature that she could only catch a glimpse of at the end of the day. Lost in her train of thoughts about their dreamy life, she was unaware of her awoken husband's mischievous eyes. Tsukushi was only brought back to reality when Tsukasa suddenly pulled her against him, whispering nothing but sweet promises to her ears until they flushed red. She gave in and they entwined again in their endless need to embrace each other.

At the brink of dawn, Tsukasa left for work to New York, it was the usual start of their incredible life, but something seemed amiss to her.

She was left sleeping soundly on their luxurious bed, as he hesitated to wake her for their usual goodbye kiss. With much alertness, Tsukasa indulged to take the time and carefully caress away her unruly hair from her face before briefly planting a ghost of a kiss to her cheeks. In the midst of his departure, she had awoken and called out to him, only to have him halting and rushing back to in bed to her.

A kiss led to a hug, a hug then led to something else, and by the end of it they were undressed and embracing each other in furor need. The delay soon had his butler knocking on the door in warning, aghast at how fast time flies, Tsukasa hurriedly redress, then planting his final breathless kisses, he left for New York. It was unfortunate that their time together was cut in half because of his work. However they make it up for the loneliness during their weekends where they spend hours in bed just tangling in each other's arms and enjoying each other's company.

Tsukasa works half a week in New York, and flies back the rest of the week to spend with her. Even though this often causes Tsukasa to overwork during his stay in New York, but he couldn't be a happier man.

It was only after a few months of their marriage did Tsukushi shock him for yet another time when she suddenly blurts out that she was pregnant. The announcement took him by such a surprise that he fell from his chair while rising up. He could only gap at her with a new infatuation for his wife, half smiling, and half gaping. The living room sound out their laughter and happiness as maids and butler hurried over with sincere congratulations. Within the day, the rest of F4s have come over by the night in support and happiness for their news.

It was within the week did the news begin broadcasting this news. Tsukasa could only chuckle and smile brightly over at the news being known while watching the big screen on the couch. He kissed his wife's temple, and smiled tenderly at her sleeping face as she slept soundlessly with his lap as her pillow.

But their happiness was already overflowed to the brim of a glass cup.

To be continue

Please review thanks~~


	3. Chapter 3 The intent

Sorry I don't own hana yori dango, just a big fan of the story.

Hope you guys enjoy, please review~~~!

Ch 3 The intent

_Wait! Wait I beg you! I just need a brief audience from you-_

The desperate groveling men were pulled to his feet by strong arms of the security. Tsukasa turned swiftly and walked away as he hears the feeble attempts of the men to push past his guards. Upon the glass sliding door, he hears the vengeful resolve of his ex-associate in business. The struggling man was once a profitable business partner, ruthless and prideful, but nonetheless a friend who was all too similar to himself. His last illegal attempt with fraud and extortion of information for his struggling company had ultimately led to his fall.

_You-you will regret this! I'm telling you, you will regret this! _

The man no longer struggle to be free from the firm grip of the security, but just cackle with sinister laughter as he was pulled out. These too frequent threats from his ex-business partners only annoyed Tsukasa as he try to paid no heed to anything the men had said. Rather, his mind took off to reminiscing his home and beloved wife in Japan.

5 months later

_Let's go out already! I'm about to be suffocated in our home! _

Tsukushi had thrown a small tantrum at Tsukasa, who held her snuggly in his strong arms. It was the middle of a lazy summer afternoon, and she was irritably pregnant with how boring the past few months played out. Tsukasa had seemed paranoid and possessed into keeping her indoor and away from the public. She had compromise as it was not hard to understand his worries. However, being the active and carefree women she always was, her free spirit would no longer put up with such tight security.

In her firm determination to persuade her husband to loosen his leash, he resorted to his usual method of quelling her anger. Kissing her half senseless, he had chuckle over at her feeble resistance against their own passion. Finally, she gave in to the familiar and exhilarating tingle left from his kisses. She glanced at him, slightly annoyed with herself for being defenseless against his loving hands. He sneaked his strong arms around her and gripped her possessively in the aftermath of their embrace.

She could only stare lovingly at him. The bright sun ray fell on him beautifully, and yet again she was entranced by how handsome and manly her husband has become. His wet curly hair was again messed in a sensual way, wrinkled brand name clothes buttoned loosely without care, his attire was casual and relax as he relent to her annoyance at him without a word. No longer was he only the rich kid with a handsome boyish face, and unmatched ignorance of the traditional Japanese idiom. Now he was a men with a good character that all too often carried too much arrogance and pride. But with a lean muscular build, strong arms, chiseled features and broad shoulder, his small fault in his character is all too often overlook and forgiven by her.

She breathed into his shirt, familiar masculine cologne mingled with her feminine scent. She has grown to love him more than she thought she could. She smiled giddily to herself as she turned to face him, giving him a chaste kiss before prodding him for a day out in the nice weather.

With an exasperatedly sigh he agreed with a few condition that they also take a few guards with them. Altogether too happy about the turn out, Tsukushi nodded and without a word hopped from his lap and rushed to their room for her sun dress.

It was just like another sunny day, kid played in the park's play ground, with small hands trembling in vain as they tried hold themselves up on the monkey bars. Sounds of glee and laughers carried off toward the couple, who were partially hidden away by the shades of the tree.

The guards were dismissed after much persuasion from his hopeful wife, who had desperately wanted more privacy. He really couldn't deny her anything. They sat closely together as they picnicked on a nearby park. Tsukushi and he were enjoying each other's company as they talk over the future with firm absolute and promise. They smiled widely as they stare admiringly at the kids playing. Tsukasa leaned forward as he placed his hand on her stomach, proudly rubbing her growing belly that occasionally awes him with a kick.

A red ball rolled towards them, it was follow by a running child, and in a hurry the child tripped over and fell. She sat up and glanced down at the throbbing pain, red liquid slowly flowed out from her knee, the child begin trembling, her small shoulders shook as she let out a wail.

A sudden urge from her maternal instinct, Tsukushi rush over to the child. She softly croons over the child with tender words and hands. Tsukasa smiled with much pride at his wife, and observe the warming scene before him. The child stops her tears and began babbling brightly to Tsukushi as her wounds were attended with bottle water and a small band aid. Warmth and love strummed in his heart as his eyes glazed over imagining the future and perhaps a identical scene much like the one before him.

Then something moved.

Out of the corner of his eyes there was a movement of leaves. As fast as he could, he rushed forward to his wife and the small child. But it was too late. Tsukushi's smiling face quickly froze into fear as she sees a strange man dressed in black protective clothing before her. She protectively gripped the trembling child in her arms, hugging her firmly. Staring warily but unwaveringly at the man, her eyes were determined and brave. The interaction before Tsukasa was happening too fast. All this occur within a matter of few seconds.

Everything after that was shown like a slowed film with vivid sharpness.

The towering man hesitated, but soon became firm as the skin around his eyes tightens with a decision. The gun shook for the owner's conscience was all too soon calmed with a sinister intent. In the next second, the triggered was pulled; the bullet left the gun, and then everything became a nightmare.

A thunderous bang blared out in his ears, deafening him.

And then silence. He hears nothing.

All he sees was red. Blood splattering the scene, and the man left as swiftly as he came.

Suddenly ringing noises in his ear sound out, followed by chilly screams and cries as people half gathered and half ran from the horrific scene.

Everything felt surreal, his hands swiftly reached for his cell phone and begin dialing for the ambulance.

He was unsure what he had said, or what had left his mouth, but from the confirmation of location he realized that they were coming.

His wobbly knees soon crumble when he reach the center of morbid attention from the crowd.

He felt sick.

Slowly he held out his trembling hands to the fallen figure.

Cradling her head, he opened his mouth to say something. _Something. Anything._

He had to say something to calm his nerves. This fear that has ridden over his soul, something chilly and cold gripped him.

The glass cup tipped and his happiness overflowed from the cup,

leaving in its wake, a fallen and empty glass cup.

An ear-piercing sound left him.

And he realized he screamed.

-To be continued-

Reviews are very much appreciated~~ thanks


	4. Chapter 4 Falling

Sorry I don't own hanayori dango, just a big fan of the story.

Hope you guys enjoy, please review~~~!

Ch.4 Falling

A small child ran towards him, all smiles and gleeful laughter rang out from the boy's small lungs as Tsukasa picked him up for a swing. A beautiful woman came forward to them. Breath caught in his throat as he stared mesmerized by the soft heavenly glow to her fair complexion. His Tsukushi. She stood before him with her pretty dark eyes and warm smiles as she welcome him with open arms. He moved forward, the squirming boy in his arms held out his hands for his mother. Everything was beautiful, only too beautiful. In the instant he thought this, a bullet shot out, and pieces of this dream blew apart.

_Aaahhhhhhh!_

He shot straight from the bed; sweat covered him from head to toe. Breathing heavily as he tried to recall the present. Once remembering, regret took over him. _Tsukushi! _He thrust away the blanket and pulled out the ivy cord from his wrist, when sudden startle movements in the silent hospital room pulled his attention.

Being careful and cautious, he gropes for a weapon of some sort. The familiar nervous clearing of a man's throat calmed him.

_Soujiro?_

_Yeah, please calm down and please refrain from strangling me with that ivy cord your holding._

The light turned on, and he turned away in adjustment to the bright beam. Soujiro and Akira sat nervously in the guest chair as they stare at him with wordless wonder. Indeed, the great domyouji dressed loosely in a hospital gown, butt naked while holding onto an ivy cord as if his life depended on it, would've definitely raises eyes and shock. But he could care less.

_Where is she? Where is Tsukushi?_

A deathly like whisper came out of him, it not only surprised the two but him as well. He felt his whole body shook with a small tremor of fear at the uneasy silence that lay between them. With a shaky laugh, he walked towards them, and gripped Akira's shoulder.

_She's alright right? Hahaha, you know I had this crazy dream about Tsukushi and—_

_-Tsukasa she's still in the emergency. You been out for a few hours, we're still waiting for them to come out, but I think the baby is gone._

Soujiro's solemn whisper alarmed him. He turned and stared at this strangely familiar man. His familiar face that he had grown up with, but he couldn't quite put everything together.

_What? _

Was all he could croak out, as he choked with realization that this nightmare was not a dream but a reality.

The world suddenly came crashing down on him, his knees wobbled and he crumbled onto the ground in rare hysteria. Akira and Soujiro pulled him firmly to his feet and dragged him to the bed, and told him empty promise that Tsukushi will be okay.

Tsukasa soon became still as the day's event again claim his mind. His two friends stared questioning at one another, hoping in vain that the other would know what to do. The tension in the room soon erupts, as Tsukasa came to the conclusion that he must see his wife. He struggle against tight arms that held him back.

No longer can he see the faces of those that came rushing into the room. All he hears are hush urgent voices of nurses rushing around him. Then something sharp pricked him, and then he felt his whole body became lax as the fluid that infiltrate into his system took its effect. Tsukasa stare numbly at them, his whole body too tired and too sleepy to move. Soon even their voices became gibberish, and then they were just irritating shrilly noises that buzzed around him. His eyelids felt heavy, and weighed him down, and then it was all black.

Darkness surrounded him. He was naked and vulnerable. There was nothing but space, no support to ground him, nothing for him to anchor himself to. Loneliness and longing clawed at him. He felt alone, and desperate, desperate for something to grip to, something solid that he could grasp on to.

BEEEEEP! BEEP!

He soon surfaced, a breath caught him off guard and he sat up in a coughing fit. A warm hand rushed over patting his back. He glanced warily at the person beside him, who hurried to turn off his cell phone. And then he sees the familiar masculine face, his friend Rui.

_Tsukasa, Tsukasa can you hear me?_

Tsukasa opened his mouth, but words caught in his throat, no sound would escape, so he nodded. Rui gripped his shoulder and held his gaze, and told him in short that Tsukushi was okay, and safe, but they lost the baby.

The fall from Heaven to hell was in an instant. He gripped tightly onto the bedding, and then firmly turned to Rui.

_Let me see her. I want to see her._

He managed to overcome the lump in his throat as he croak out his response. Rui nodded, and then pulled him to his feet as he handed him his handkerchief.

Tsukasa can only stare at him questioning before realizing there was wetness on his cheek. He turned and saw from the reflection of the window that he was crying, and shaking, and a total wreck.

Sardonically, he gives his thanks and took the handkerchief, while finding the irony of how the great Domyouji has been reduced to become this worthless crying person.

Rui nodded his understanding, and gripped his shoulders in support as he helped him dressed. With the flimsy hospital gown finally off of him, he hurried and rush towards Tsukushi's room.

Everyone had gathered around the sleeping Tsukushi, everyone in their solemn state could only give their condolences as they were ushered pass him.

He stumbled forward, unawared of anything but the women sleeping on the bed before him. Her face was emotionless, even peaceful. He sat beside her, trying to find words to say to her about their son. Dread engulfed his total being, perhaps the foretelling horror and pain in her eyes would really kill him. Gripping tightly on her hand, his thoughts again took him to the horrid afternoon that turned his life into a heaping mess.

_Tsukasa? _

With a jolt, he was brought out of his painful reverie.

Tsukushi opened her eyes as she stared at her handsome but tired husband. The blood shot red eyes, and strain in his face was worrisome. Tear drops flow from him, a towering man, a man of pride and arrogance was sobbing silently for her to see. Unknown guilt and the need to sooth his pain urge her to sit up. But all too soon, she felt weak and fell back to bed.

In a comforting attempt, she reaches forward with her hands as she touched his face. He turned his face and kissed shakily into her palm. She smiled tenderly up at him, and then pulled him forward to her. Their kissed was gentle and salty.

A crinkle formed between her brows as she stared into his agonized eyes. Then the surrounding of the room finally fully took her attention. The hospital gown, the ivy cord, and the past afternoon events caught up to her. Eyes widen with shock, she struggle to comprehend the situation at hand.

_The baby!_

Alarmed with fear and pain, she turned to her mournful husband, whose hand is now gently smoothing out her hair. He then grasp both of her hand gently and then tightened in their hold on hers, and she stared with sudden apprehension of the truth.

Her hands harshly pulled out of his as they searched for the familiar swollen belly she had been carrying these past few months. She wanted to be ignorant, to believe that this was a lie. She wanted to deny reality.

But, nothing.

Nothing was there but an empty stomach.

An empty, lifeless shell.

A wail sounded out the room.

The family and F4's outside shivered at the chilly sound of loss. Everyone stood frozen over the spot, no one dare to move, and mourning overshadows the group as they stood rigid outside the patient room.

Sound of empty comfort was heard over the muffled desperate crying and shrieking.

The happily married couple's life started to unravel.

Shards of the glass gleamed in contrast to the gloom and foreboding.

The rim of the fallen glass cup cracked.

-To be continued-

Please review ~thanks!


	5. Chapter 5 Broken

Sorry I don't own hanayori dango, just a big fan of the story.

Hope you guys enjoy, please review~~~!

Ch.5 Broken

_Aaaahhhhhhhh!_

_Tsukushi, tsukushi, shhh, it's okay baby, it's okay_.

Tsukasa softly whispered to her as she was hugged tightly to his chest. He murmured calming words to her, hoping to sooth her of the nightmare that had been reoccurring ever since the event.

Tsukushi gripped him tightly, trying very hard to stop her distressed nerves. She breathed deeply into his familiar scent, and felt a sense of security as his large warm hand begin rubbing her back in a calming way. Her anxiety and fear died, and then sleep came to her.

Tears leaked out the corner of his eyes as he observed his sleepy wife, who moaned in distress from her restless dream. Pulling her tighter against him, he tried to transcend his warmth to her. Hoping with desperation, that the possibility that his love and warmth would give her strength and support in her dreams.

The fateful day haunted them every night. They clung to each other in pain when they are reminded of their loss. The haunting day consumed them, their soul are chained to the past as it gripped them tightly by the throat. It was hard to breathe.

Their large grand house was silent, too silent. The bright green room meant for welcoming their new born son was now chained and locked and forbidden to enter. The baby clothes and materials had caused hysteria from Tsukushi, as it reminded her of the empty shell she now carries. She had felt empty and dead like her son. Their son. Remorseful and pained with guilt she had heeded to no one. Breaking and throwing anything that reminded her of the loss into a mass of ruins. The maid and butler at first had rushed forward to stop the racket. But Tsukasa had held them back, allowing her room for her frustration and guilt to be temporary appeased by the destruction.

In every attempt to heal, they've isolated themselves from friends and family. It wasn't intentional, but the graphic horror of the event not only took its effect on the couple, but also their friends and family. They come and go with pity and condolences in their eyes that forever reminded them the reality and the grievance that they only manage to dulled down in the short span of 5 months.

They had to forget. They needed to forget as the pain gnawed at their hearts all too often. They mourn day and night, the loss of their son haunted them each day they live. With absolute resolved they salvaged their wounds with each night of gentle love, healing bit by bit, trying to comfort each other as much as they can.

The household no longer carried its bright merriment and excitement, rather the garden has now grown out of arrangement, a private garden that Tsukushi only manage herself is now out of it's usual array. Tsukasa no longer flies to New York, rather all work are brought over by his most trusted secretary as he worked from home.

Tsukasa hovered over Tsukushi's naked form in worry. He brought her palm up for a kiss, and begin to lose himself once again to the cursed past. She sleepily turned over to face him, awoken from tight his hold, she pulled him towards her as she kissed away his pain and tears.

These past few months of mourning and hysteria are numbing down into silent grievance.

Although the future seemed grim, but there was a small hope in her. Perhaps they can start anew, perhaps they can laugh again. Tsukushi contemplated hopefully to herself, as she softly whispered comforting words to deter him from remembering.

Tsukasa sighed as he was once again is comforted by his wife, silently seething at himself about his uselessness in such a situation. He held onto her tightly.

_Hoping for a better tomorrow. _

_Sir, we found the suspect, and you are correct it is he who shot your wife._

Tsukasa eyes clenched tightly shut as he mulled over the details from his agent. He opened his eyes, face ashen white as he looked down towards the wedding ring on his finger. Slowly, he pulled it off, and examined its elegance and design.

It rolled smoothly over his fingers, and he stared hard at it.

_How long has it been?_

_How long ago since Tsukushi smiled? _

_When will this pain go away?_

Then with seething solid determination, he gripped the ring tightly into a fist, and then called for his secretary. The man came forward without hesitation.

_Don't hand him to the police yet, I've still have plans for him._

The secretary tensed at the cold sharpness of his boss's orders.

It was truly a horrible thing that Mr. Domyouji's wife was shot. Everyone began to fear him again, they shrank away from him, too frighten by the quiet malevolence that he carries. Business partners fear him, they fear his implacable hardness that render them with nothing to carry on with.

His cold and merciless stratagem in his business deals, redeem him his original title as the world's most ruthless Businessman. He handle businesses unyieldingly, business deals that brought many pain and humiliation to others. His keen eyes knew just when to kick into the deal, and when to make the business associate crumble into a begging mess, as he left them without a care in the world. He became the Domyouji Tsukasa that he was known so long ago.

The secretary sighed as he had watched the prideful man turned cold in the wake of what had happen. No one could match his boss's unrelenting ways; even the stubborn old mule of the CYork company's executive came crawling to his feet within a day for his struggling company. It became an uproar when Domyouji turned that man away, unbending to any of his pleas.

Tsukushi thought over the past few weeks of loneliness and longing, Tsukasa no longer touches her. Only emptiness awaits for her in their bed at night. She could not understand what had transcended between them for him to behave like that. It was abrupt, one day his secretary drop by and by that night he was a changed man. His eyes were complex over remorse and pain as he told her in their bed that night that he was going back to New York for work.

Tsukushi had first misunderstood the sudden separation as a way of healing for him, and she did not object. But soon days became weeks, weeks became months. There was nothing but the cold breeze in the night to keep her company. She tossed in their large spacious bed as she contemplated what occurred during the day.

_Tsukasa-tsukasa don't go, you've been gone too long! Listen to me, I need you here, Tsukasa-_

_I'm sorry but I need to attend to an important meeting, we will talk when I get back. Please go in and rest, it's cold outside._

She had run barefooted after him, pulling and tugging at him to look at her. He had not turned to look at her, rather his cold voice chilled her to the bones. It was a loveless voice. One that held no regard for her, like a polite stranger, he rejected her. She realized he had suddenly become the Tsukasa that everyone had feared in Etouku High. Strength left her as she dropped her arms from holding him back. There was nothing she could do. She watched quietly as his car drove out of sight.

She felt the silent rejections from him again. Each visit, he would only briefly come back to their home for a short stay, treating it as if it was a hotel or a vacation home. There were no more hesitation in leaving her, he left like the wind. Every time she tried to talk or touch him, he shied away, always remorseful and tensed at her contact. Excuses after excuses piled up, he wanted to avoid her company. She had been in denial at first. She had believed in him, trusting that he was only healing, that it was essential for him to heal.

_But perhaps she was wrong. _

_Perhaps what he wanted was to leave her, to leave her and the past behind._

She stared into the darkness of the room. The full moon illuminating the room in it's eerie brightness. Then turning over onto her side, she spotted the ticking clock on their bedstead. With a huff, she threw the clock into its ruins in silent frustration. It was the fourth clock that she had manage to smashed to pieces. The sound of the clock always haunted her, like a knife it sliced her heart each hour of the day it passed by, each chime reminded her how much time had passed since they lost their son. And Tsukasa was no where near to comfort her. No loving phone calls or hugs and kisses. Everything in the past was like a ghost itself.

_Was there really love? _

_Perhaps this their love was all an illusion, _

_Something are too good to be true, _

_Something are too good to be reality._

She turned and lay on her back. She was alone. The cold truth. He did not want her. He did not want her anymore. He was walking away.

_Walking away._

_He was walking away from their marriage._

_He was walking away from her._

_He was finally throwing her away._

A sardonic chuckle left her lips as she began to resolve into her own conclusion of his unusual ways. He couldn't bear to touch her, and he had turned away from her each time she pleaded for him to stay longer. He's unreachable; he doesn't pick up her calls. They no longer converse, it seemed like ages ago since they had once smiled and chatted happily about the absolute future. Their future, the beautiful future that they were supposes to have. The future with their son was all brought to ruins in a matter of seconds. Now every time they see each other it reminded them of what they could have had. It soon became undeniably, irreversible, and undeniably obvious.

_He rejected her._

_And she became self loathing._

_Why?_

_Why would he do that, _

_What other truths was there but that he was leaving her._

Dawn broke through the curtains, and small light of the sun ray fell on a stilled figure lumped on a spacious bed. The valuables and vases were broken into bits and pieces on the floor, there were ink splatters on the walls, it was a total mess. Anything and everything in the room was either thrown or ripped into shreds leaving destruction in its wake. Only their large bed was unscathed from her wrath.

A knocked came from the door.

_Madame, Breakfast is read-_

The maid screamed at the sight of destruction and mess of the once glory master room. The butler came and they both stared wordlessly in horror at the mistress of the house in nothing but her night gown that was soaked.

Soaked in her blood.

Blood from the breakage of skin.

Blood that came from her continuous need to claw at her skin.

The cracks on the glass cup widen,

The fallen glass broke into shards.

In its wake it left nothing but irreplaceable pieces behind.

-To be continued-

Please review~ thanks!

Reviews are very much appreciated~!


	6. Chapter 6 His glass

I do not own Hana yori dango, just wanted to write a small story.

Please enjoy.

And **please review**! It's very much appreciated!

Ch. 6 His glass

The figure on the bed shook with great remorse, tears tumbled from the corner of his blood shot eyes as he relay what had happen during the day.

_Mr. Domyouji your wife has-_

_Please John, tell her I am unable to take her calls right now, I-_

_She's in the hospital right now!_

The exasperated secretary had come bounding down in the hall in a racket, and had shouted in distress upon reaching his office. He gave his usual reply in a thick voice of longing, he could not possibly answer to her right now, not right now, and not when he was so guilt ridden.

He thought his heart can no longer plummet anymore, believing that it was crushed long ago, but he was wrong. The room had for a second contorted in its form, spiral curves nauseated him and he felt sick again.

His hand shook from the familiar wretched feeling he gets when shocking news reach him. The worried secretary lunged forward, prepared to catch his fall. He leaned wobbly against his work desk; news had once again shaken him to the core.

_Wha-what?_

He rasped out thickly, everything, everything in his life seems to be unraveling too fast.

The secretary could only silently bow his head, avoiding confrontation with his desperate eyes.

His eyes that no longer carried warmth and the past brilliance he once had, now it was saturated with pain and confusion of a desperate man wanting to grasp reality.

_What did you say! _

Soon confusion and fear subsided, and he grappled with anger, the raw emotion that he had became all too familiar with. The man flinched in response. Then with the pressure of tension, he stuttered out careful words that seemed to have been rehearsed for quite a few times.

_S-she's in the hospital in Japan, the only thing I gathered from the doctor was that sh-she had been clawing herself with h-her own n-nails._

The flight to Japan came too slow. The reality of the situation did not dawn to him until he reached her hospital door. John's words were constantly running over his mind.

_Clawing her self_

_Clawing herself with her own nails._

The sickening image came to mind, he felt the familiar sensation of fear. It choked him to tears.

Why the hell was this happening?

Anger over took him once again. It was the only concrete emotion that he could feel comfortable tempering with. It was the feeling that he had pushed away long ago, allowing only compassionate emotions to fill him. The spectrum of emotions he felt over the few months was too overwhelming for him to handle. This whole onslaught of pain and horrific event took a hard toll on him. It took away his life.

He was seething, harbored anger for himself, anger for the way he had acted. He remembered, he remembered all too well what had happened in the seemingly distant past.

The moment he found out about the suspect and details on how the man had mercilessly shot his beloved wife, anger over took him once more. He was again reminded of the groveling man, the man who had all too soon vowed revenge with his sinister cackle. He relived the past. That horrid afternoon of bloodshed and fear, fear in that he was about to lose something too precious, too beautiful for him, their dream. The haunting past was like a life time hand cuff, it gnawed at him constantly, reminding him of the extent of a man's uselessness in such a situation. He was incapable of protecting his own wife and child.

That hurt him.

When the agent had confirmed his suspicions on the ex-business associate, he had almost torn apart the office room. It was that man that carried a bit of craze in him; it was he who was behind the plan to bring harm to his family. Boiling over seething anger and suppressing the urge to kill anything in sight, he became another man.

His entire body seethed for same bloodshed of the enemy, the killer, the murderer, who had robbed him of precious meeting with his unburned child. They robbed him of his happiness and life. They robbed him of her smile.

After anger, guilt and remorse followed. It consumed him whole. Doubt coursed through him. He was really the person at fault. If he had been more kind, if he had perhaps granted the half-crazed man some personal advice, perhaps things would have run differently, perhaps the man would have not resorted to this.

It was the 'what ifs'.

He was often reminded of Tsukushi's forgiving ways, but he was adamant to be merciful. He was a Domyouji, and his bloodline would not allow him room to be sway by his wife's forgiving nature. His entire being refutes the idea of a lenient punishment to those who bring harm to his family.

Information that the gunman and the suspects were found had roused his suppressed hatred for revenge. In the heat of the moment, he had flung the glass cup against the wall with flaring rage, shattering it to pieces as he tries to appease his mind. When he had managed a few breaths of calm, he turned and found himself staring at a strange yet familiar man. The handsome face was taut over with strain and pain. The man's malicious eyes were filled with murder intent; a crazed glint gleamed in his eyes. The foreign yet all too familiar black curls and dark brow took him by surprise. He was staring at himself in the mirror. It was the hateful man that he had vowed to seal away since the night of matrimony.

A sardonic laugh rumbled through his whole being, remorse and guilt found their way into him, as he wavered in his stance. Gripping tightly and scornful of his twisted thoughts, he held onto the rim of the sink. Closing his eyes he recounted over and over what he could have done to reverse the irreversible. He felt only regret. And now he was a monster.

The whole idea of forgiveness seemed too good to be a reality in his mind. He could not fathom or try to understand what goes on in a saint's mind. Rather, the urge and need to seek justice for his son, for the love of his life, and for himself, had eventually deterred him from such gracious path. And so, he did not believe for the life of him that any of those saints still existed.

That night was a storm. Thunder crackled across the sky; rain began pouring down on him as he stood on the balcony lost deep in thought.

_Tsukasa? _

His wife soft voice seemed too distant, too far away.

It was like the happiness that he lost too long ago.

His wife had carefully wrapped her pale arms around his soaked body, planting a deep kiss the back of his shoulder, she laid her pretty head against his wet back.

A deep breath escaped her, and she tightened her hold as she whispered her undying love to him.

He breathed in deeply; the lingering familiar unique feminine scent of hers filled his senses. It came like a pang; it was too cruel to him. To bathe in her beauty and love while hiding the solid truth that threatens to break them apart.

Too beautiful, too pure, she was innocent. And he was tainted; he was tainted with hatred and the thrilling idea of revenge. It was the hatred and revenge that she had always hated.

Her grasp on his shirt tightened, willing him to speak, to say something.

He knew. He knew what she wanted, but at the moment, he was too guilt conscious about his faults to give her what she needed. The tender love for her submerged into his heart, he wanted to hold her gently and delicately as he had done these past few months. He wanted to whispered the comforting promises that he pledge to her night and day. He wanted to give her everything and bathe in her love as he had always done.

But he could not forgive himself.

These past few months of ignorance, of lies he told to himself. He had directed his blamed to others, cowering away from the real truth. The suspicion that had always haunted him, lurking behind him, waiting, waiting for him to drop his guard, waiting for a way to dive in and tell him. To tell him the veracity of the past. To tell him the truth.

And now he comes to realize.

He was the true murderer of his own happiness.

He grieved at the loss like no other; he must carry on with the burden of knowing that the loss was due to his cause. It was he who had caused their happiness to vanquish in an instant.

He struggled with the truths for months, pained at the times when he averted from her clear and confused eyes. He knew he was hurting her, but his conscious would not allow him to taint her with his eyes. He was guilty, and she did not know.

Yet again, he felt the naked vulnerability he had once felt in the hospital. It sickened him. He retched. Acidic sour smell of the content he spilled lingered in air of the bath room. He looked up into the mirror, frightened to see how the once prideful man had been reduced to. A handsome but empty man stared back at him. The hollowness in his eyes was clear-cut cold. There seems no end to the pitch black darkness that his eyes had an affinity for. He stared and could do nothing but be pulled down the bottomless well. There was no more anticipation of a ground. He felt the familiar nothingness and the odd sensation of falling. Endless falling, then absolute fear gripped him.

Tsukasa!

His eyes widen upon hearing his wife's voice. He surfaced from the black hole, and breathed heavily into his lungs. Life came back to him, but so did the emotions. The pain, the remorse, the grimness and the guilt he had too often dwindle on. Very much perplexed at the realization that he was groundless to be able to give her the usual moral support he once did. The emotions and complexity was beyond even he could comprehend.

And so he did what he could do for their marriage to survive.

The only thing he believed that he could do.

He avoided her.

He wanted to avoid the fearful confrontation.

He wanted to avoid having thinking about the present.

He wanted to pretend that everything was okay.

Each night was daunting to him, as if he was a strong man who is now reduced to a child; he missed and desperately longed for his wife. But the thought that he would risk spilling the truth that is bursting to be told, prevented him from going to her. The idea that he may face her repulsion devoured him. He feared himself, feared that he would tell her.

Each time his eyes met her's, each contact of skin, he felt the sudden need to tell her, he wanted to face her and tell her the truth. But when her sweet clear eyes, reflected nothing but innocence and love, focused its attention on him, it may him quiver in fear. He was too scared of the consequence.

He could hear his conscious urging him to spill, but his heart and mind stubbornly pushed it away.

_He only hoped that another day goes by without her knowing. _

_That another day passes without her realizing the truth. _

_He needed to have just another day to be with her, _

_He wanted to know that she still loved him as much as he loved her._

_It was a secret that he felt he could never tell her._

And so another day became a week, a week soon became a month, and when the season finally turned spring, he realized his greed and selfishness was eating him up.

He had to go or he'll spill.

Life with her oblivious to the truth

or life with her knowing and hating him.

Hell broke loose,

And he left.

Left it all behind for New York.

Space was needed,

he needed desperately to pull himself together, to think more objectively,

For her, and for him.

So he left,

He never picked up her calls, fearing that the sound of her broken voice will again pulled at his heart string.

Fearful that her voice will have him spell bounded by love, and he would fly back to her.

Fearful that his longing and addition to her will soon take it's effect, and get the better of him.

He feared himself,

His most formidable foe,

the monster of hatred that will eventually consumed his soul,

Leaving in nothing in its wake.

But an empty shell.

His glass broke, cracks formed and shards litter in a mess.

-To be continued-

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Reviews are very much appreciated!


	7. Chapter 7 Cross road

I don't own Hana Yori Dango, just loved the plot and wanted to share a fanfic of mine with you guys~~~ please enjoy!

**Please review! Thanks!**

Reviews are very much appreciated and inspire me to continue~

Thanks again for those who have review~~

Ch.7 The Cross road

The knobbed turned with a creaked, the door effortless slide open, and he slid passed it quietly, hoping that he had not disturbed the sleeping figure on the bed. The sunny afternoon breeze was accompanied by the distant sound of noises of people outside in the gardens. The happy atmosphere was a contrast to what he was feeling at the moment. With the soft sun light partially covered by the bellowing curtains, her small pale face carried a faint glow of peace. It was as if the news that he had received was just a mere set up to bring him back. His rigid body relaxed with that thought, a suddenly calm came over him as he took confident long strides towards her.

Her raven tress was as unruly as ever, he smiled at the remembrance of playing with it. The remembrance carried the past in which he had been free to feel and express what he had felt. His gaze moved down to her face, reminiscing the how he had kissed and loved with such vigor that he thought he would go insane without it. His eyes felled on her pink lips, the sensual plump lips that had him captivated hours after their love making. There was an urge to kiss it swollen until it hurts, but he controlled himself. He stared contently at his sleeping wife he had missed for so long. His eyes continued to move down to observe her with a smile before coming to a halt. His body stilled, his smile faltered and his mind turned blank.

_Lines,_

_Red Lines,_

_Dents,_

_Nail marks_

Red streak lines of nail marks marred the skin of her arms. The disturbing sight of dents and breakage of pale skin were distinctly etched into his mind. He stared at it blankly, hardly able understand what he is seeing. Then the haunting words of his secretary came to mind.

_S-she's in the hospital in Japan, the only thing I gathered from the doctor was that sh-she had been clawing herself with h-her own n-nails._

_Why?_

_Why would she do that? _

Questions and thoughts ran over his mind over and over. He could not come to terms with what he was seeing. He wanted to understand her; he wanted to know what had possibly made her do what she had done. Thoughts and accusations were loud and blaring in his mind, he could physically hear it. In the end, he could only resolved into one conclusion that he was to be blamed, and that it was probably all his fault. The feeling of foreboding premonition looms over him. The horrid feeling of wretchedness ate at him.

He felt sick.

All rationality seemed to leave him as he fell on his knees, shakily reached out to touch and feel the reality of it all. The familiar warmth of her skin jolted him, he retracted quickly, stunned. He glanced again, doubting his eyes, and half hoping he was hallucinating. But the lines were still deeply etched there. It was still on her skin, the skin that was so hauntingly beautiful to him. The skin in which he had spent hours affectionately, fascinating over. It was the same pale skin that had haunted him endlessly at nights, causing him to restlessly toss with yearning.

Tears spilled from the corner of his eyes, he swallowed, trying very hard to push down the surge of emotion bursting to spill. His trembling hands reached forward and tightly grasped onto hers. He was angry, angry at himself and angry at her. He wanted to scream and to shake some sense into her. The idea that she wanted to purposely hurt herself, alarmed and scared him. Because he knew, he knew deep down that he could not really protect her from herself. It was the idea of being unable to protect her from harm again that frightened him.

The emotions finally escaped him, and he let it all out. The grief, the anguish, and the pain from all that has happened thoroughly racked his body with a sob. He wanted so much to just hug her soft body to his, and whisper things that he knows would comfort and reassure her. He wanted to just lock her up in a cage so she was not a target of any scheme and plan. But what he really wanted the most is for her was to be free and smiling like she was before.

Before she came to know the true reality of his life.

Before they lost their child.

Before she married him.

The tears subsided, and he realized the fingers he had held ever so tightly was out of his grasp. And it was now threading tenderly through his dark curls. He slowly turns, and his eyes came to rest on her warm dark ones.

He came to face her.

His wife, his love, his Tsukushi.

-to be continued-

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**Multiple reviews are welcome too.**

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_XxfairyxdustxX__, __loveboysoverflowers__, __Aktaiy__, __shiro245__, __crzi__, __Ikuni Hattori__, __T.A.R.D._

_Thank you all for your comments and praises, I hope you will continue to review my stories in the future!_


	8. Chapter 8 The beginning

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hana yori Dango or any of its characters, just a fan who wants to share with everyone my fanfiction.

Reviews are very very much appreciated! Any (appropriate) comments are welcome~~!

Ch. 8 The beginning

"Tsukasa..?"

Her voiced sounded worried and anxious. He stared at her, hard and focused. His composure totally crumbled into heaps at the sound of her wavering voice. Face strained and taut over with stress and pain, he could no longer hold it in. Without a word, he forcibly pulled her into his arms. She did not struggle like she used to do out of habit, rather her body felt limp and weak in his hold.

He gripped her tightly to him, burying his nose into her hair as he relinquished in her familiar unique smell.

He could faintly hear her surprised muffled response as he held onto her wordlessly.

Everything was silent in the room except for the faint sound of rustling leaves from outside.

The calm was mercilessly disturbed by the loud exuberance outside of their room. They quickly pulled apart. There was no knock, but burst of sounds that piled into the room as busy bodies ushered themselves in.

"Tsukushi!" "Ma-ki-no~" "Makino!"

Her name was urgently called by the F4s and Yuki, who without much regard with his presence, rushed pass him to her bedside. Yuki worriedly gripped onto Tsukushi's hand as she spoke in hush tone, as if she was a sick patient waiting for her end.

Tsukasa admitted that she indeed looked much paler than she usually was. The bright , soulful eyes that he adores were alot bit dimmer compare to the past, but he was at least relieved at how she seems to be stable at the moment.

A masculine hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"…Tsukasa…" came the reprimanding tone of his best friend, Rui. Rui, who was always running with the flow of everything, seems to exude a menacing presence. Although to others, he may look a bit rigid and strained, but they would never guess that Rui was angry and perhaps deadly at the moment.

Tsukasa nodded and turned to go.

However, Tsukushi became restless and anxious as he was about to take his leave. She gripped tightly onto his hand, pulling him towards her. Her feeble attempt to move him in her weaken state was even laughable to herself, but he heeded to her anyway.

He bent down, kissed her gently on the brow, and then reassured her that he was just going to be outside the room.

She nodded with relief before reluctantly released her hand from his.

He turned swiftly with Rui at his tails. The other two F4s turned to stare at each other before excusing themselves from the room.

The door shut silently after them, leaving behind a exasperated and tired Tsukushi with a worried Yuki on the side.

The table was empty,

the glass shards were swept clean,

There was nothing in place,

but an empty room, without light.

To be continued

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And thank you to those who do!

PS: I know the plot is moving a bit slow but please bear with me, it will hopefully get better~!


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