Rookie Blue 1. Chapter 1

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**DCJ,**

**Lady Nikka**

**Jelly Bean Jenna**

**Kmart92**

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**Disclaimer: Don't own any of it...**

**Summery: Andy returns to Fifteen after Project Dakota, but she's still unwilling to give Sam another chance. They get drunk and end up sleeping together before embarking on a torrid love affair based solely on sex. What are Andy's reasons for pursuing such a relationship with Sam, and why is Sam willingly going along with it?**

**Rated M for a reason!**

**In Another Life**

Chapter 1

She was back.

She was finally here after spending six months of her life wearing someone else's persona, and still the space between them was a gaping big hole.

She'd been back for a few days, brief glances of her in the barn his only vice that she had returned in one piece, unharmed and still breathing.

He ran into her during her debriefing, when she came around a corner from the ladies locker rooms, too fast and slammed straight into him.

She flinched at the sudden contact, and visibly recoiled when he had instinctively reached out to steady her.

After that he distanced himself even further from her, completely pulling away into the 'Out of Reach' category.

And tonight, two weeks later, she was here, at the Penny with Nash and Peck, undoubtedly having a girls night out to celebrate her return.

He could hear her laughter fill the air, the telltale sign that as the night wore on she was going from sober to tipsy to mellow, as it rang out carefree and unhindered. Free of all restraints.

He noted the rounds of tequilas being delivered to their table, and kept count of the rounds of beers too, and duly noted that they were probably a little over their regular alcohol intake already.

A little after eleven, he watched as Nash and Peck left, leaving her alone at the table for all of less than three minutes before she had company in the form of a blonde guy he recognized from twenty-seventh. A real piece of work.

What was it about her that attracted blonde guys?

He had no idea, but then again she seemed to attract most people, regardless of their gender or age.

That's just how she was, like a breath of fresh air, like a breeze on a hot day. She was bubbly and her personality electrified anyone she crossed paths with.

Twenty minutes of watching the blonde guy literally try and charm the pants off of her, and his resolve snapped.

He abandoned his drink on the bar counter in front of him and made his way over to her table, a scowl covering his hardened face.

She gave him a pointed look before turning away, her eyes eager to seek shelter from his.

The blonde guy took a minute to wistfully look between them, before excusing himself on cue, and heading towards the men's room a little to the left of their current position.

"What are you doing?". He hissed out a little courser than he intended, his voice low and sharp.

"Nothing, we were just leaving". She snapped as she made her way in a futile attempt to slide off her chair into a standing position.

Instinctively reaching out to steady her on her wobbly legs, he forced the fire that sizzled through his fingertips as they made contact with her skin, out of his mind as she whirled around to glare at him.

"This isn't you, don't be stupid". He whispered stepping a little closer into her personal space even though he knew he was uninvited.

"It's not your job to look out for me anymore, remember?". Her tone was clipped and cold, venom wrapped around her words.

She was right, of course.

But still he wasn't about to let her make a stupid mistake that was more than a little way out of her normal sweet character.

"You're right it's not, but don't do this". He wasn't above pleading with her, the last flickers of any hope fading when he saw visions of the blonde making her forget.

Forget him.

Forget them.

Making her get over him by helping her move on.

"You have no right Sam, so don't even go there". She hissed, stepping out from under his hands reach, her defiance spreading across her face as she looked at him.

"Don't...".

The more he spoke, the more he saw her determination reach over her, not a good sign right now.

Just then when Sam looked up he found the jade eyes that belonged to the blonde watching their exchange, an exasperated look on his face.

"Don't worry buddy, we're just leaving". Sam said reaching out to clutch Andy's bag in one hand, while the other took hold of one of hers forcefully.

The guy held his hands up, a sign of his surrender as he backed away, not willing to put up a fight for something he wasn't guaranteed to win.

Dragging her out the back door, closest to them, he kept his fingers firmly wrapped around hers despite the tugging she used in an attempt to free her hand.

Meeting the fresh air, his anger subsided slightly as he spun her around to face him, his face still engraved in distaste.

"Do you have any idea of what you nearly did?". He stepped towards her, her steps taking her backwards as she tried to shrink away from his anger.

She stopped abruptly when her back met the cold, uneven surface of the bricks that made up the wall behind her, her breath hitching slightly when she realized that there was nowhere to run.

She didn't answer his question, her breathing instead making itself audible as he dropped her hand and rested his palm flat against the bricks of the wall next to her head on either side, boxing her in.

"This is not you". He whispered, a softer side creeping into his voice.

She had a deer caught in the headlights look on her face, his proximity to her much closer than he had originally anticipated.

He'd had his fair share of drinks tonight, enough to cloud over his judgment, but having her this close, it just added fuel onto an already raging fire.

"Don't do stupid things". His voice drawled out as he pushed off the wall and let his hand find hers again before pulling her through the ally and out into the parking lot.

He could feel by her hands constant pulling motion that she was unsteady on her feet, the fresh air doing little to sober her up as he made his way closer to the street and hailed a cab.

He was in no shape to drive, not only from the copious amounts of alcohol he had consumed, but also the numerous emotions he had suddenly surging through him.

There were so many, he was loosing their labels.

Giving the cab driver her address, he waited for the endless drive to her condo to come to an end before reality devoured him and he became more unstable than he already was.

Keeping his eyes trailed out the window, he watched the few blocks between the Penny and her residence speed by, thankful that she had opted for the silent drive home.

When the cab pulled over, he handed over a few bills before turning to find her eyes closed, her head resting on the back of the seat.

Great, now he was really pissed with her, and she was passed out in the back of a cab.

Digging in her bag, he found her keys before opening the door and gently lifting her out, to cradle her against his chest.

Her warmth felt so familiar, so consuming, he wondered why he gave it up in the first place.

Shifting her around, he finally managed to get her door open and them inside before deciding that he should have asked the cab driver to wait for him.

Kicking her front door closed, he made his way through her condo in the dark, the feeling that he was trespassing uninvited shuddering through him with each step.

Finally making his way into her bedroom, he was surrounded by her scent as it enveloped his senses.

Stopping in front of her bed, he moved her forwards and gently deposited her down on the covers.

Slipping his arm out from under her knees, he felt her stir, a soft whimper escaping he lips as she rolled towards him, her hands finding his chest.

Shifting his eyes from her legs to her face, he noticed her eyes open as her body stiffened, his other arm still tucked in behind her back.

Her face softened as their eyes met, her earlier fire seeping away to be replaced with something he had missed.

He tried to pull his arm out from under her, but she kept him pinned where he was, her eyes looking at him from under hooded lids.

He broke their gaze, shifting it to the floor, before he felt her move, drawing his attention back to her face.

She had closed the distance between them, leaving the slightest space between their faces as her hands seemed to wrap themselves around his neck and pull him closer.

"Andy...". His voice was husky, his self control wearing unseemly thin as he breathed in her scent.

God how he had missed her smell, the warmth it invoked in him immediately causing a familiar daze to fog over him.

Then in a breath she leaned up and slammed her lips into his, claiming his flesh hungrily with her own.

Her lips moved over his, her tongue seeking entrance into his mouth, her hands pulling him closer.

She let out a beautiful moan as his lips responded, the murmur vibrating into his mouth sending shivers through him.

His arm tucked securely under her, lifted her closer, his free hand finding its way up to her face and resting on her cheek as though he was feeling if she was really there, or merely a figment of his imagination.

Becoming breathless he tried to pull away, but she didn't let him move to far, her lips leaving his to caress over his face and down his neck, before her teeth found his earlobe and gently nuzzled it between her teeth.

He let out a groan of his own, as he felt himself moving over her, the weight of his body pushing her further into the mattress.

Her body responded by arching against his, her hands tangling in his hair and pulling his lips back to hers.

His lips moved to devour hers, his hand slipping from her face to trace patterns down her neck and shoulder, running across the bare skin of her upper arm, and finally sliding over to find her breast.

Her hands made their way down his back, her nails scraping over the light material of his T-shirt.

They soon found the hem of his shirt and she was tugging it wishfully, her desire to rid him of the garment flowing over her lips as she sighed in frustration at the hindrance.

Sitting up, his hands tugged off his shirt, her eyes happily appraising his well formed chest, as she moved to mirror his position and let her hands fall flat against his skin, leaving a raging fire to spread over where her hands were resting.

Pushing herself up on to her knees, she crawled over the small space between them, her hands gliding seductively and torturously slow as they made their way up to his face.

Cupping his face between her hands she made the motion so intimate as she let her eyes flutter closed and let her lips brush tenderly over his.

His hands moved to her hair, before trailing down and tugging at the hem of her shirt, breaking their lip lock only for as long as it took to pull the garment over her head.

His hands found the flesh of her shoulder, his fingertips trailing over the bare skin, down her arm and settling on her hips as they pulled her forwards, against him in desperation.

Pushing her back slightly, her legs folded out from under her as he guided her head to her pillows, her hair fanning out around her as it met the pale tone of her pillow cases.

Her feet were kicking at his shoes, so he pulled back and slid them off, his socks following before attending to hers with the gentlest of movements.

Hovering over her, he felt her hands move to his zipper, her unsatisfactory sigh telling him she wanted the pants gone too.

Letting his hand find hers, he pulled it up and lifted it to rest on the pillow next to her head, her fingers finding comfort in wrapping themselves around his and holding on as her lips illicited the sweetest sounds as he felt her arch against him.

His other hand found her breast still bound by her bra, his body hovering over hers propped on an elbow.

Pulling away, he slipped both hands free, before slipping them under her to unclip her bra, before sliding it down her arms and letting it fall to the floor beside her bed.

Claiming her lips and making them his with hunger, he restrained his need to ravage her by setting a trail of blazing kisses down her skin until the found her stomach, his hand gently caressing her breast.

Her hands flew to her jeans and loosened the button and zipper, while she lifted herself up and pulled them down, until she couldn't anymore. He resumed the actions, freeing her legs of their restraints, his hands seeking out the material of her panties and making them immediately follow.

His fingers ran up the soft skin inside her thighs, her body responding to his touch automatically.

Climbing off the bed, he slid his own jeans and boxers off before settling between her legs and settling at her entrance.

Her lips lavished lustful kisses over his mouth before moving over his jaw, his stubble tingling with the warmth of her lips.

One more seductive moan as she crawled closer, and he slid into her with total abandonment.

Her hips arched against his as he filled her, her moan losing itself in her throat as he slowly pulled back.

Her lips moved back to his as her hands found his back and her nails dug in, the sweetest sensation arising from them making ridges in his flesh.

Slowly he moved forwards, thrusting into her before pulling back and doing it again.

And again.

And again.

His face found its way to her hair, his nose burying itself where her scent was the strongest as he continued to move in and out of her at a slow pace.

"More" her voice pleaded as her need for release drove her to the point of insanity.

Pulling away, he slid off the edge of the bed, his hand reaching out for hers to pull her up and spin her around. Sensing his movements, she changed position, kneeling on the end of her bed, her elbows in front of them and her feet dangling over the end.

He hovered over her for a second, taking the sight of her in before slowly sliding back into her, her moans again filling the silent air of the room.

Settling his hands on her hips, he held her tightly, his fingers clamping down on her soft pale skin as he moved to fill her.

He was sure that there would be bruises where his fingers where when the sun rose, but it wouldn't be the first time he had marked her in such a way, even though it was accidental.

Pounding into her, he felt her tighten around him as she let out a throaty moan before she tipped over the edge and screamed his name as he continued to fill her while her body convulsed in pleasure.

Soon he would find his own release, her name whimpered out on a careless whisper as he surrendered himself to her in the only way he knew how to- by showing her what she did to him, and letting her feel the passion that only she invoked in him.

Their breathed evened out as she slumped forwards, her head finding her pillow as she crawled up to her normal resting place.

He followed suit, tugging the bedding out from under her legs, and dragging it over them as he nestled himself behind her.

"You can't stay Sam". Her voice was feint and hesitant, but she was totally lucid when she spoke.

"What?".

Still turned away from him, he had no idea what was running through her mind because he couldn't read her face, although her breathing was shallow, and slightly labored.

Sam stared at the back of her head, not willing to believe that he had just uttered the words he had heard.

"Andy...".

"No Sam, this...was stupid". She said, tossing his words from earlier back at him.

"Can we talk?".

"Now you want to talk? Seriously?". She tugged on the sheet and pulled it free, wrapped it around herself and climbed out of bed.

Turning to face him, he saw that her face was crumbling, she was barely keeping it together as her eyes welled and she tried to front a strong facade.

"Just...just go, please". She whispered before her hand made its way up to swipe away a tear that defied her and broke free.

Yanking up the sheet, she padded over to the bathroom before slamming the door, the click of the lock sounding through the silence of the room.

He knew it was a mistake to give in, to succumb to her spell, but he just couldn't help himself.

Jumping off her bed, he followed with heavy steps to the bathroom door, his voice pleading through the closed wood.

"Andy please". His hand braced the wall while the other ran through his hair.

But silence followed, the sound of running water drawing through the door.

Sam stood outside the door for what felt like endless hours waiting for her to come out, but she didn't, not even a while after the water had turned off.

"I'll go" he finally whispered through the door.

He went in search of his clothes and pulled them back on before leaning against the door one last time before letting his final words drift out on a ragged breath.

"This isn't over".

Pushing off the door, Sam left Andy's condo, slamming the front door behind his so she would know he had left.

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	2. Meaningless

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**Chapter 2 **

**Meaningless.**

The second his name passed over her lips the haze she was lost in, induced by lust and alcohol, began to clear, reality slamming through her.

This was just so wrong.

Minutes after she stepped out the shower after kicking him out, she heard her front door slam closed, his unimpressed exit audible to everyone on this floor of the building.

Sinking back down on her bed, still only wrapped up in a towel, she let her mind have free roam of her thoughts, a disturbing sight, even to herself.

Since she had been back, she had held on to the feint traces of hope that he would in some way reach out to her, try to reconcile the burnt out embers of what was left between them.

But he didn't.

When she slammed into him at the barn, after she went to use the bathroom during her debriefing, she felt the sudden weightlessness his touch would induce, as soon as his hand reached out for her, so she pulled away, seeking to extinguish the electrical spark that crackled between them, before it even started.

The thought of having to touch her must have sickened him in some way, because after that, he put an entire universe of space between them.

Then tonight, he just has to go and screw it up, by looking out for her, stopping her from making one stupid mistake, but yet aiding and abetting in her making another colossal mistake.

Yup, totally fucked that one up.

But he had that effect on her, he didn't even need to touch her to have that effect on her.

The sexual tension had always been there, between them, right from the start, the night of the blackout confirming that he felt it too, but when he backed off, because she was forbidden, she had seen that he really was a good guy, and that just made her ache for more, well more than meaningless sex anyway.

Letting out a loud groan, Andy tried to shake the foggy images from her mind as she remembered that with them, there was never just mindless sex, it was always...more?

Always passionate, she could just feel it in the way he touched her, or kissed her, or held on to her.

She had every objective of coming home and trying to work things out with him, but now...she doubted that he would be willing to after she, in a drunken stupor, nearly took some random guy home, to be saved from that shame by him, and instead she literally puts the cart before the horse and decides that bedding him, before kicking him out, was a better option.

Why was it so easy to screw this up?

The next morning, she noted the pale bruising on her hips, from where his fingers had cast a firm hold on them, as she changed into her uniform. A muffled sigh escaping her lips as thoughts of facing him terrified her.

Yes, she was terrified of seeing him after his parting words of "This is not over" instilled the fear of Swarek Wrath into her, because that tone, that was one she had never heard him use before.

The words had been clear, but his tone was not agitated, or angered, as he uttered the words, it was more like it held a promise, and it sounded a little pained too.

Stepping out of the locker room, she expected him to be standing there waiting for her, but not seeing him, she exhaled a breath she knew she had been holding.

He was missing in parade too, his burning gaze absent from the room along with his presence.

Being assigned to ride solo, especially on a day like today was a relief, but it also came with the hindering knowledge that she would have a whole twelve hour shift alone to let her thoughts consume her.

Making her way to the coffee stand, a cold hand wrapped around her arm as she took the corner, the sudden fire of his hand telling her that this would not go well.

She let out a ragged breath as his arm tugged her down the hallway before the door to the viewing room of interview room three was banged open and she was shoved through the door, the lights flickering on as his hand found the switch, while the other closed the door, loudly, after releasing its grip on her.

"If this is about last night...". Her voice stammered as she tried not to pay attention to his black eyes and his lips set in a straight line, he was so pissed off that she could feel it radiating off of him.

Holding up his hand to silence her, before folding them over each other, and then leaning against the back of the door, effectively blocking her only escape route, he stood just staring at her, as though his brain to mouth filter was working overtime in an attempt to stop from letting harsh words rush out, or saying the wrong thing.

"What the hell is your problem?". She suddenly blurted as the room lingered in silence and she began to squirm under his hardened stare.

"My problem?". His eyebrows shot up at her sudden accusation, his face remaining stoic and void of all emotion or feeling, other than his eyes that danced in fire.

"McNally, you left without a word, then come back the same way, avoiding me at all costs until you get loaded and then suddenly you can't wait to get me in your bed before kicking me out, and you think I have a problem?". His tone was clipped, no sign that he would be forgiving her anytime soon evident in her voice.

"So I had a little too much to drink Sam, it's not like I ...". Okay so she defiantly picked the wrong choice of words there.

"Took a stranger home? For Christ's sake Andy you were this close to doing that. If I hadn't taken you home you would be having awkward morning conversation with him instead". He was seething at finishing her sentence, his voice wrapped in so much anger and trepidation that she closed her eyes in an attempt to block it out.

"Why are we even in here?". She whispered, her eyes opening to see his face flashing a look of excruciating agony.

"You tell me McNally, because right now, I have no idea". His voice fluttered out a little calmer, his self control flourishing as he reigned himself in.

"You don't need to worry about it Sam, this isn't some rash attempt to get you back, or draw you in. It was what it was". Her voice was steady as she tried to wrap conviction around her words, and make them believable.

"And what is that exactly?". This time his voice was ushered out low into the room, his eyes sealing out the fire that was dancing in them moments ago, as though her words had extinguished the flames.

"Sex Sam, just meaningless sex". She looked him in the eye as she gave her reply, her voice strong and solid even though her insides were tying up in knots and her heart was cracking.

If her words effected him, he didn't show it, instead keeping a firm hold of the mask he wore as he kept it in place.

Stepping away from the door, Sam's hand reached out for the handle before yanking it open and holding it there so that she would know that she was free to leave, the discussion was over and they had reached the point where he had no desire to say another word.

She stood watching him intently, her mind screaming that if she walked through that door, there would never be an opening to take those words back, or tell him that she had learned to lie convincingly enough to survive while she had been UC on project Dakota.

His gaze was still fixed on her, but he stood frozen to the spot, as though he was giving her the only option he ever would, to change her mind before walking away.

Suddenly he tore his eyes away, casting his head down as his hand slipped off the door handle and he turned and walked away, leaving the door open behind him as he left the room.

Andy walked out the room and stood in the hallway, staring after Sam as he kept walking.

She was suddenly overcome with regret at making yet another wrong decision.

Why couldn't she just be honest with him, even though she doubted that he would value anything she had to say now.

She knew she was still in love with him, she'd always been in love with him.

Spending six months UC had reinforced that feeling even more when the longing set in and weighed her down, although she had to keep it pushed away, didn't mean she felt it any less.

Obviously he did not feel the same way.

Maybe somewhere in the back of her mind she had hoped that he would put up a fight when she came back, or even this morning after last night, but it just wasn't there. So to her, it looked like he was well and truly over her, like he fell out of love with her the minute she left, or came to realize that his feelings of love were misguided, that he was in lust with her instead.

The thought made her heart crack a little deeper, loose splinters breaking off.

How could she seriously make any attempts to actually be with him if it was pointless? If there was nothing from his side, and she would be still soooooo in love with him that she couldn't think straight, she'd be setting herself up for more heartache at the end of the day right?

Well in some ways, last night had closed the final chapters on her own personal Swarek Saga, she had said goodbye in her own way, and she had survived the dreaded morning after talk he so adamantly stated they would have, so now there was only one way to go, and that was over the hill, in the direction of 'Getting-Over-Sam-Swarek-Ville'.

With a heavy sigh, she shook the thoughts from her mind, her head visibly moving venomously as she made her way back down the hallway in search of that coffee he so rudely interrupted her getting.

If there had been any other person standing in front of him now, he would have flown off the handle, and totally lost his shit altogether.

But it wasn't just anyone, or anyone else, it was her.

The bane of his existence.

Leaving her just long enough to take back her words, or change her mind, he waited knowing that it would probably never happen, but he waited anyway.

He'd spent six months trying to brace the subject of how to handle the situation when she came back, but the way it was handled last night never crossed his mind.

He was late getting to the barn this morning, he had to go and pick up his abandoned truck at the Penny, and he really needed to have a few words with her.

When he did, he deeply regretted it.

Now leaving the barn, he could only run her words through his mind on auto-replay as some self inflicted punishment for letting himself loose control with her.

His terms of her meaningless had been translated harshly in his own mind, words like 'I don't love you anymore' and 'Whatever was there is long gone' filing through his thoughts.

Effectively it came down to one thing, Andy McNally had fallen out of love with him, or stopped loving him, or whatever the hell it was called.

That idea caused the knife to twist deeper into his shattered heart.

He still loved her, even though he had doubted the intensity of those feelings when her absence left his life void of her altogether, but the minute he saw her for the first time when she returned, and the sparks that ran through his fingertips when he touched her at the Penny, those just let the doubt subside and he was instantaneously reminded that he was still in love with her that without her, everything just seemed pointless.

Empty.

Maybe over time, his feeling would dissipate, or he would learn to live with the fact that he felt that way alone, but given the opportunity to have some kind of closeness to her, or some kind of relationship with her, he would gladly accept it if it meant that he was close enough to try and make her feel the way she had about him all over again.

He sighed to himself, who was he kidding?

His feelings would never waiver, or break, dissipate or disappear. When he loved it was just so raw, and consuming that this was only the second time he had ever felt anything close to being called love, the last time he'd been in college and compared to this, that was more infatuation.

This, this was the real thing, and given the chance to make Andy McNally fall in love with him again, or the chance to remind her what they can be like, he would defiantly grab it with both hands and never let it go.

He would make her remember.

Remember them.

Remember him.

Remember how to love so passionately, so freely, that she would loose herself in the feeling, and stay lost for the rest of eternity.

He scoffed at the thought of that, like the universe would ever give him that! His mind screamed in dismay. Everything had worked against them, from the very beginning.

And the thing was, he had to start by getting her to forgive him for breaking her heart, and like that was ever going to happen when he saw nothing but resentment in her once bright eyes.

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**Kelly2727- especially if you like Hawaii 5 0!**

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	3. Desirable

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**Chapter 3**

**Desirable**

Watching her walk into the room just made his breath billow out, his lungs refusing to refill with the air they needed to keep him alive.

Three weeks had drifted by, since her revelation in the viewing room, and even though he had been watching her from a distance, while emerging himself in his workload to keep thoughts of her at bay, seeing her like this just tilted his world off its axis.

He'd seen her dressed up, and he'd seen her in dresses before, but this...this was just completely out of this world.

They were at Frank and Noelle's wedding, their choice of venue the Golf Club, with its rich green grass and willow trees.

They had booked a few of the bungalows that the conference and wedding venue had, and even though he knew she was here, hidden behind one of the closed doors, he never expected her to look like that.

She was wearing a knee length, off one shoulder, silver dress, with matching silver strapped heels, the top half of her hair pulled up to the back, the rest falling in a mass of curls around her shoulders.

She was breathtaking.

The second she turned and saw him, she turned away, Nash saying a few words to her before scowling in his direction.

They were lingering outside the small chapel, waiting for Noelle to arrive, the setting lost in peaceful tranquility as a slow breeze cooled the warm afternoon air, bristling the leaves of the willow trees as they hung in silence.

Sam felt a hand on his arm, and knew who it was without having to look.

"She's here". Chloe whispered excitedly as she came to stand next to Sam, her eyes trailing after his as she watched the two woman move off the luscious lawn and head towards the cobblestone stairs that would lead them into the chapel.

Without saying a word, Sam held out his arm before leading her across the grass following in Nash and Andy's wake.

Throughout the service, Sam found his eyes failing to stay away from drinking her in. He just couldn't help himself, he was so drawn to her, he was done resisting the urge to stare at her.

He noticed her gaze settle on them as he led Chloe into the chapel, her face showing slight creases in distaste, before she turned away and avoided any visual contact with them.

When the ceremony was done, they were ushered outside, and waited for the happy couple to emerge, before they would be whisked away for an hour for photographs, while the rest of the guests were ushered into the bar of the hall.

Through the drinks and finger snacks served in the bar, he watched her, her carefree smile lighting up the room as she shared the festivities with her friends, a side of her coming to the surface that he had seen so long ago, he briefly wondered if she had lost that part of herself.

During dinner he did the same, felling saddened at seeing her pushing her food around on the plate, rather than eating it, much the same as he was. She was however enjoying the white wine served with dinner.

When speeches were made, and champagne brought to the tables to toast the bride and groom, he noticed that she had that red tint to her cheeks that flagged her alcohol intake at its limit, even though she held out her champagne flute to be filled.

"You should ask her to dance" Oliver's voice suddenly jolted over the music and into his eardrum.

"What?". Sam tried to act as though he had no idea what Oliver was talking about, but he knew he was faking ignorance badly.

"Just saying". Oliver mumbled before turning around in his chair and saying something to Zoe.

Sam scowled at the back of Oliver's head, he of all people should know that, that would probably not go down well with McNally, considering that he had been his 'break-up buddy'.

Chloe resumed her seat next to him, returning from the bathroom to follow his line of vision and roll her eyes while huffing out a loud sigh.

Sam spun to face her, his eyebrows furrowed as he did so.

"What? Seriously. Get. Over. It". She said before looking back towards Andy.

Sam did the same, noting that Andy was filling her champagne glass again, this time here eyes focusing on him over the brim of the glass.

The dance floor was opened, the real celebratory party beginning, and yet from across the room, even in the dim lighting he managed to make out her dismayed features.

The evening drifted into late night, and when his eyes did their automatic sweep of the room in search of her, he was amused to see her approach a waiter with a tray brandishing glasses and two different kinds of champagne.

The waiter held out a glass towards Andy after filling it, but she shyly shook her head before she let out a monumental giggle and pointed to the bottle.

The waiter shook his head, but when Andy's hand swept out and claimed her prize, he made no attempts to stop her.

Sam watched as she openly carried the bottle in her hand, her feet leading her towards the open glass doors that led outside onto a deck before leading out onto the actual golf course.

Leaving his drink half finished on the table, Sam followed her outside, his head shaking at the handful she had become.

Keeping a safe, silent distance behind her, he watched as she left the cobblestone paving and her feet met the grass where she began to stumble slightly, her heels no doubt sinking into the plush grass and the wet ground beneath it.

Pausing, she kicked off her shoes, scooped them up with one hand and continued on her journey, to whatever unknown destination she had in mind.

After crossing spacious grass fields, she dipped into the trees lining the eighth hole, where she disappeared from sight, making Sam wonder if she knew he was tailing her.

Stepping into the tree line, Sam saw her stumble before sitting down on the edge of a small pond, the moonlight dancing over the water and reflecting off the glass bottle as she lifted it and took a long sip.

"I know you're there". Her voice suddenly pulled through the darkness, startling him slightly.

Sam shrugged, might as well approach her now that she made it known she knew he was here.

Walking over to her, he lingered for a split second, before sitting down on the grass next to her, its damp moisture soaking through his pants where they met the ground.

She silently held the bottle out towards him, offering him some of its contents. Taking her up on the offer, he took the bottle and took a healthy swig before handing it back.

"You can just say it, whatever it is you came to say". Her voice was soft but she was slurring, and badly.

Sam let out a loud sigh, she was nowhere near the Andy McNally she was before she went UC, and he sensed her walls going up, she was on the defensive about his presence.

"Where did we go wrong?". She suddenly blurted out, her gaze still transfixed on the rippling water, while his was transfixed on her.

"I have no idea, me mostly". Sam said, causing her head to snap towards him, her face so sad in its expression.

"You should go back, your date...".

"She's not my date". Sam corrected instantly, there was no way she was going to be allowed to think that.

"Your whatever she is then, will be waiting...".

"Stop okay, she's Frank's goddaughter, she's only here with me so I can keep an eye on her, she's a recovering alcoholic". Sam cleared his throat after his words flew out, she just had a way of getting him to say whatever she wanted to know, and once that started, it wouldn't ever stop.

Andy raised an eyebrow before lifting the bottle, and suddenly calling out a toast "And here's to us, that drink to forget, and you for forgetting to drink". She took a long sip out of the bottle before letting a loud giggle rip free as she teetered slightly backwards.

Sam had seen enough, this wasn't her.

Standing up, he grabbed the bottle of champagne from her hand, tilted it bottom up and allowed the contents to free themselves all over the grass next to him, Andy battling to find her feet as she attempted to save what she could.

"No fair Sam, I wanted to finish that". She slurred out as she tried to pry the bottle from him.

"Enough Andy, you don't drink to this point, and it's the second time I'm stopping you, so you are done. You're going to go back to your room and sleep it off". Sam said tossing the bottle under the nearest tree, and letting his hand snake out to grab her shoes.

"No".

"Andy, I wasn't asking". Sam reached out for her and she stepped back, his hand grasping at thin air.

"Andy don't make me be the bad person here".

"Oooohhhh, what's Sammy gonna do?".

Sam rolled his eyes, under different circumstances he may have found this to be playful and maybe funny, but right now it was very far from that.

Holding her shoes out for her to take, Sam waited until she stepped close enough for him so grab her by the legs, lift her up and swing her over his shoulder.

She shrieked out in surprise, her yelp fading into a loud giggle as Sam started making his way back towards the bungalows.

Andy dangled over his shoulder, her hands coming to close around his waist as her feet and legs made futile attempts to break free. He scolded her twice to keep still before they even broke through the tree line, but still she kept trying to wiggle her way free.

Stopping suddenly, Sam dropped her shoes and swatted her on the backside with his now free hand, before eyeing the shoes and deciding they were best left where they were for now, while he growled out a "Hold still" through clenched teeth.

Andy yelped out again as his hand met her backside, her hand leaving his waist to rub over her stinging rear end.

"Ohhh, I like kinky Sam". She giggled out suddenly when she allowed the thought of him actually smacking her to make sense through the foggy effects the alcohol had on her.

Sam's strides faltered very faintly as he heard her words.

"Room?". He said pushing her playfulness out of the space they were in. He had no idea what bungalow she was in, so he needed the number.

"Shower too". She giggled out, and Sam realized she didn't have her clutch purse with her, so no key, so no way was he dragging her back into the reception hall like this to find it.

Making his way to his bungalow, he fished out the key from his pocket and opened the door, and then slammed it closed.

If she wanted a shower, then who was he to stop her?

Making his way straight for the bathroom, he turned on the cold water before stepping into the shower with her still slung over his shoulder.

Because she was viewing the world upside down, she had no idea what was coming until the cold spray hit them both full force, a murderous scream leaving her lips as it rolled into a really carefree laugh.

Something he had really missed.

"Sam...put me down?". Her giggle had subsided, her sobriety returning to her voice slightly as she kept still and kindly requested to be set back on her feet sincerely.

So Sam obliged by gently dipping forwards enough for her to slide down him and regain her footing.

Andy slid her hands up his back and over his shoulders as he dropped her back onto her feet, her hands remaining in place as she found her footing and lifted her gaze to meet his.

He watched as she tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, her gaze shifting to his lips before roaming back up his face and settling on his eyes once again.

Her pupils had dilated, and her breathing became a little more irregular.

Standing with his hands still firmly holding onto her sides, with the intention of holding her up straight, Sam felt the familiar crackle of tension surround them in the small space of the shower.

He knew the look on her face well, it was one that would intoxicate him and make his body respond of its own accord.

Andy took the tiny step needed to close the space between them, her soaked front pressing into his as she let her hands sweep up his neck and into his hair.

Sam pinched his eyes closed, inhaling a deep breath as he tried to find the self control he so automatically lacked in her presence. The water still spraying down on them, he felt Andy lean up onto her toes, his hands still wrapped around her waist, before her lips found his in the most hesitant, soft brush he had ever felt.

Keeping dead still, he felt her hand tug his head forward as her lips applied a soft, bitter-sweet pressure to his, her tongue suddenly sweeping out over his bottom lip.

He felt his hands tense around her waist, his grip gently squeezing her as she leaned against him even more, seeking to get closer than she already was.

Pushing her away, Sam let his eyes drift open to see hers marred with a spray of emotions, hurt, rejection, remorse.

"Don't". He whispered, his voice dangerously low and husky.

"Not good enough for you?". She suddenly hissed as she tried to step out of his grip.

Sam stared at her, did she have no idea of the effect she had on him by just being in the same room?

Sam suddenly just stopped thinking and pulled her roughly towards him, her body crashing into his as his hands glazed up her sides. He ran them all the way up to her shoulders, one caressing her bare shin that wasn't covered. He let that same one run around the back of her neck and tangle in her hair, gently tugging it back so that she was forced to tilt her head back and look at him.

Andy let out a soft gasp as his hand pulled on her hair, his other hand moving to cup her cheek before his lips crashed to hers in desperation.

His body pressed into hers as he savored her lips, the soft moan that flowed from her and into his mouth, making him pull her even closer.

The cold water that still tumbled down over them did little to cool the sudden rise in temperature between the four walls of the shower, the front of her body setting his on fire. His lips left hers breathlessly, leaving a trail of soft kisses down her chin before they moved to her neck, making her body arch into his even more.

Kissing all the way down to her bare shoulder, while his hand firmly held her head back by keeping its grip on her hair, Sam sprayed soft kisses across her bare flesh until his lips met the silky material just above her breast where it now clung to her body from the water.

Standing up straight, Sam waited for Andy's eyes to snap open when his actions suddenly stopped, her features still lost in the momentary ecstasy she still lost in.

"Good enough for you McNally?". He whispered, his tone dry.

Andy flushed, her hands still holding him by his head, although they no longer pulled through his hair, their faces inches away from each other, his breath flushing across her face as she began to shake her head.

Sam cocked an eyebrow at her no visuals, her voice failing to make an appearance.

"More". She said startling him with how much raw desire clung to her words.

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	4. More Of You

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**Chapter 4**

**More of You**

More? More what?

Sam moved to release her, her hands slipping down to his shoulders, and trying to hold him there.

"More?".

Andy nodded, her sudden need to be brazen written all over her face.

"More what?". Sam's tone was edgy, he had to keep the words 'meaningless sex' forcefully locked away in his mind.

"This". Her voice was barely audible above the running shower, so he reached behind her and cut the water, before turning his attention back to her.

"This? As in the 'meaningless sex' this?". So much for the words being restrained.

"Sam, it's not like that". Andy hurled back at him, his feet back stepping out of the shower.

Sam moved into the bungalow at warp speed, heading straight for the mini-bar and grabbing a tiny bottle of whiskey, which he drank in one long sip.

"I'm not twelve or sixteen Sam, I'm making a conscious decision as an adult here". Her voice followed him through the bungalow.

"To have an affair Andy? Based on sex? Have you lost your mind?". Sam stared at her, his mind still not wrapping itself around the implications of what she had said.

He wasn't surprised when she nodded at his question.

Stalking back over to her, Sam stood in front of her, peering down at her eyes, seeking answers before asking a question he really shouldn't have. "Why?".

"Because we suck at the couples thing, but the sex is...you're insatiable". She added a shrug as though she was brushing what she just said off as casual conversation.

"No". Sam's tone was harsh and stern, he had no plans of ever letting her involve herself that way in his life, or another mans for that matter, ever.

She stood her ground, her eyes flashing with the familiar tint of McNally fire as her lips formed words. "Why not?".

"Because Andy, you don't deserve that okay! You deserve more than being someone's...". Someone's what? Concubine, submissive, toy?

"Just no". Sam whispered before walking back to the mini-bar and grabbing a second bottle of whiskey, swallowing it much the way he had done the first.

After discarding the empty bottle on the counter, he loosened his tie and shrugged off his jacket, throwing the wet items over the counter too. Suddenly her voice whispered in his ear, her voice causing a shiver to run up his spine at her choice of words.

"Only yours, no one else's".

Sam whirled around to find her standing really close, water still dripping from her as it silently fell to the carpet.

"Andy, you're drunk, go to bed".

But she stood her ground again, staring at him, her lips twitching up at the corners.

"You want to". She challenged, the thought seemingly bringing some kind of pleasure to her.

"I do, but I won't". He suddenly growled out between clenched teeth, his jaw set hard as he tried to contain every emotion that was running through him.

"Why?". Andy stepped forwards a fraction, her gaze burning a hole into his soul.

"Because if I do, I won't ever stop". He pinched his eyes closed, a pained expression pulling over the mask he so desperately tried to keep in place.

"Then don't". Her hand made its way up to his face, her palm setting fire to his cheek where it lay resting.

His eyes opened, her face closer than he expected, his hand reaching up instinctively to wrap his fingers around her wrist and pull her hand away. She had no idea of what she was saying, the ramifications of entering into this kind of relationship no where near clear to her.

"You don't know what you're saying". Sam said pulling her hand down to her side, his fingers keeping their soft grip on it as they stood in silence.

"So we'll set some rules. No sleepovers, you go home, I go home. Once ones place then the others, no telling anyone, ever. No public places, no flowers no dinners, no dates, us exclusively".

Sam gaped at her, his brain shutting down for a few split second before it fired up again. His mind screaming that he wanted the universe to give him a way into Andy McNally's life so that he could make her remember.

It also added on the afterthought that she had somehow been thinking about this, that it wasn't just a spur of the moment decision to proposition him.

Leaning towards her, Sam felt the little self control he had left slipping away, her breath hitching before she stopped breathing altogether.

"If we do this, there's no going back". Sam inhaled her hair, her head nodding at his roughly whispered statement.

"And my rules, you eat more, and drink less?". She had lost weight since coming back, and had somewhere along the lines started following in her fathers footsteps.

He waited for her to nod again before letting more words flush against the bare skin of her shoulder.

"And if you come over to my place, you sleep in my bed. My house, my rules, your house, your rules". Andy sucked in a sharp breath, her head shaking at his rule.

"Then...no deal". Sam mumbled backing away from her to see her still entirely flustered and looking like she was so overwhelmed by lust right now she would do just about anything.

Her eyes flashed a spark, her brows furrowed as she eyed him.

"No deal" she repeated as though the words were not making sense.

Tugging his shirt out of his pants, Sam loosened the buttons before toeing off this wet shoes, and heading back into the bathroom, the unmistakable sound of the shower running before the door closed.

Andy stood staring at the closed door. Never in her entire life had she thought that she would give anyone an indecent proposal, least of all her ex-boyfriend that completely ripped her heart out.

The entire day spent watching him made a longing surge through her, something that just wouldn't die down, no matter how much she tried to suppress it.

When he followed her down to the pond, her mind suddenly conjured up this illicit idea of getting back into Sam's life by getting back into his bed. She had shaken the thoughts out of her mind the second they had crusaded through it, banishing it until she saw his face when he set her down in the shower.

The low groan he let slip, and the desire in his eyes only told her that he was fighting the fact that he wanted her.

His eyes had darkened, his jaw set and his teeth clenching, he was tense, but he still desired her.

Letting out a strangled breath, she tried to decide what to do now that she had gone as far as actually voicing her stupid idea.

The whole point of even considering doing this was because she needed a part of Sam in her life, she needed to fill the hole left by him in anyway she could, and if this was how she was going to achieve that, then she was all in- except the sleeping in his bed. That just kind of threw her for a loop.

It was a way to hold on to a piece of Sam, a way to cope with still being undeniably in love with him, but not being able to be more to him.

His extracting himself from her life, and staying away told her that he wasn't willing to endeavor a trip down the relationship road that they had so destructively attempted to do in the past, so maybe his feelings were truly blurted out in the heat of the moment, but she still needed him to ground her, to have him as a lover was one way that she figured he'd accept.

The sex had always been explosive, electrifying, passionate, and she knew he felt it too. It was evident in the way he pulled her close and wrapped around her like a vine before he went to sleep, and she could hear it in the way he breathed her name when he found his release, and it was clear in the way he would devour her, worship her body with a tormenting slow pace. It was a case of him always giving, never taking when they were wrapped up in each other, and it was always as if they were making love, it was never ever anything but that.

Letting out a huffed sigh, Andy knew that he would get his way before he even mentioned the rule.

Her hand found the zipper of her dress where it rested under her arm, her fingers fumbling with it as it was slowly zipped down and her arm tugged through. She dropped the soaked dress to the floor, before stepping out of the wet material, her bare feet stepping one step closer to the bathroom door.

Opting to keep on her tiny excuse for panties on, she quietly pushed the bathroom door handle down and stepped into the room that was now hazy in a cloud of steam.

Sam was barely visible through the shower curtain, the sound of running water still drowning out any other noise throughout the bungalow.

Before she started overthinking her decision, Andy reached out and pulled the shower curtain back far enough for her to slip into the shower, Sam gaping at her in shock and surprise as she stepped up and into the shower under the much warmer spray than the last time she had been in here.

Sam exhaled a loud breath, his eyes fighting to keep looking at her face rather than roam over her body while his mouth hung open forming an o before he slammed it closed and his jaw gave away that he was clenching his teeth again.

"Okay". Andy breathed out as she moved passed Sam to stand under the hot water, her rather naked state of dress becoming chilly.

"Okay?". Sam barely managed to form the word as she moved closer into his personal space.

"Your...rule". Andy mumbled looking away, suddenly feeling very flustered by his less than subtle heated gaze.

"Say it". Sam whispered leaning towards her.

"I'll sleep in your bed". Andy shuddered as Sam's warm breath flushed over her neck, his voice demanding as he requested the words.

Sam's hand strayed to the small of her back, his thumb caressing her water streaked back, the skin setting his fingertips on fire. His other hand moved to unclip the hair clip she had still holding her hair up, before it moved down to her face and came to stop on her chin, tilting her head up to meet him.

She had her lip between her teeth, something that drove him absolutely stark raving mad.

Sam let his hand find her lips, tugging her lip free from her teeth, his fingers keeping a silent hold of her chin, while his eyes searched hers to find them blazing.

Andy moved her hands up to Sam's chest, running them up his rippling muscles and leaving them to rest just below his shoulders.

Sam didn't need any more assurance that she wanted this, so he leaned forwards and scooped her up, walking them out the shower and towards the bed.

Putting her down gently, he bent over her and kissed her temple before pulling away and throwing the covers over her.

Andy stared at him in shock as he moved to his duffle bag and began pulling out clothes and pulling them on.

"Sam?".

"I'm going to get your shoes and purse". His voice was strained, his gaze keeping tucked away from hers.

"Why?".

"My house, my rules Andy. You agreed to sleep in my bed, so sleep".

Andy let out a huffed sigh, and Sam was sure there were a few choice words lingering out her mouth too.

"Besides you broke two of your own rules already". Sam finally glanced at her, humor lacing his voice.

"Really?". Her tone was clipped, she was not happy.

"Yup, you didn't eat, and you drank way too much". Sam said, a smile showing slightly for the first time all day.

After Sam left, Andy let her eyes roam the room.

Sam's words drifting to her thoughts, she knew exactly what he was trying to do. He was being the good guy.

He was walking away and giving her time to reconsider her brazen idea, he was using the rules as an excuse.

He was obviously fighting a war with himself over whether or not to give her what she wanted, and it was most likely her choice words of 'It was what it was, meaningless sex' that helped him decide that it wan not a good idea to go down that road again.

And she was so sure that he was on the verge of giving in, but in the end the respect he had for woman won and she was in his bed- literally to sleep.

Man it sucked to be her right now!

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	5. My Surrender

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**Not sure about this chapter, so leave some feedback when you're done?**

**Chapter 5**

**My Surrender**

When Sam returned to his bungalow, he found Andy fast asleep, her deep breaths hovering over her like wisps of air. He noticed that she had a T-shirt on, obviously one she had claimed out of his duffle bag, but he didn't mind, she always looked good in them anyway.

Hovering in the bedroom, Sam watched her sleep, her face void of the marring stressed look he had seen her wear since she had come home.

Her once vibrant smile, and dancing eyes had somehow faded, her face just as beautiful, but less carefree as it had once been.

Watching her brought on a flood of regrets, only surpassed by happy memories, memories he so willingly gave up.

Running a hand over his face, he kept his eyes tangled on her, his mind working overtime to make sense of the situation they were in.

He had so desperately wished that the universe would give him an in into her life, and here she was, giving him an in he wasn't sure he could handle.

She was crazy, and a little insane at times, but this...this was a new kind of insanely crazy, even for her.

Walking out was defiantly the best thing he could have done, her options kept open because he decided to give her an option when she woke up sober, instead of leaving her with another regret, another thing to hold against him, and another thing to hold against herself.

Letting out a rugged sigh, he quietly set down her shoes and purse after digging in it for her room key.

Grabbing his duffle bag, Sam cast one final sweeping gaze over her before leaving the room, the door closing silently behind him.

Andy woke to birds singing and bright sunlight filling the room. Her eyes fluttered open as she took in her surroundings and let her mind find the name of the place she was in.

Sam's bungalow.

The memories came flooding back, a heated blush spreading over her cheeks at her indecent proposal.

And he was nowhere to be seen. The pillows next to her were still fluffy and they didn't smell like him, so he had not slept next to her. Sitting up, she looked around the room to find his duffle bag gone, her she's and purse on the bedside table. Her duffle bag was also next to the bed.

He had brought all her stuff from her bungalow over here, and left her alone. Grabbing her purse, she dug around in it to find her key, which was nowhere to be found. Maybe he switched bungalows with her.

Clambering out of bed, she grabbed her towel and a clean set of clothes, along with her toothbrush, toothpaste, shower gel, and hair brush and raced for the bathroom.

Grabbing a quick shower, she packed up her belongings and grabbed her bag, surveying the room one last time to make sure she had everything, she left Sam's bungalow and made her way towards the one that had been hers.

Knocking on the door, there was no answer, Andy's heart fluttering before dropping to the ground.

Grabbing her phone out her bag, she hit speed dial, where she had kept his name, never having had the courage to move or delete it.

Lifting her phone to her ear, she held her breath, but it rang straight through to voicemail.

Hearing his voice made her smile, even though the whole idea of this was wrong, it just felt so right.

When she heard the beep, she waited for a few seconds before finding her voice. "Um...so you left me to sleep...and I haven't changed my mind. I still...want to do this?". Hanging up, she couldn't help but wonder how he'd react to her message.

Sam left the golf club, it was still dark, the sun not quite making its appearance over the city. He returned Andy's keys to the front desk, having slept for about four hours before his mind made his surface from the throws of sleep.

Waking up in her bungalow bed, without her felt strange. He knew Nash and Andy had come up yesterday afternoon, and waking up surrounded by her scent was just wrong. It made his miss her even more.

By the time he made it home, he wondered how shift would be with them after last night, although somewhere deep inside hope clung that she would not change her mind again.

Putting his bag down, and going to charge his flat phone, his mind still lingered on thoughts of her. When his phone's screen lit, flashing a missed call from her and a new voicemail, his heart gave a small stop start motion before he lifted the phone to listen.

"Um...so you left me to sleep...and I haven't changed my mind. I still...want to do this?". Her voice bought an automatic smile to his face, the hesitancy in her voice now a far cry from the self assurance she possessed last night.

But he wasn't convinced that this was the right move, the right thing to do, the right way to try and get her back by getting into her bed.

He spent the day grocery shopping, cleaning out his house and taking his clothes to the cleaners before returning home and calling Sarah.

Late afternoon he grabbed a beer, and grilled steak with garlic bread for dinner, his mind still wrapped up in Andy's scent from the bungalow pillows and how it would feel to hold her while she slept, instead of being the better man and walking away.

When the sun set, he had moved on to whiskeys while watching the highlights from the Maple Leafs game they missed because of the wedding yesterday.

His phone buzzing drew his attention away from the tv set long enough to read a text from Andy.

'I'm coming over'.

No, that was the worst idea, right now that would be a bad thing so he typed out a reply of 'No' and sent it without hesitation.

His phone immediately jumped to life when she tried to call, her call going unanswered because right now he couldn't talk to her and keep a clear head.

Way too many whiskeys and way too many thoughts of what Andy had asked kept his mind tangled up weighing the pros and cons of the situation, up to the point where he was actually considering it.

The ringing of his phone died down, silence replacing the sound, until a beep signaled a new text.

'I'm still coming over'.

She was relentless.

Sam typed out a reply, simply saying 'It's not a good Idea' before sending it.

His phone stayed silent after that, until a soft knock at the front door told him that he was in way over his head.

Before unlocking it, before it swung open, he knew who it was, so he showed no surprise when he was right, and there she stood.

He backed away from the door, letting her in, and walked into the kitchen for no apparent reason. It was safe ground presumably.

"Why's it a bad idea?". Her voice broke the silence first, her eyes shifting to look between his when he finally turned to face her.

"It just is". Sam looked away, unable to hold his filter in place for much longer, it was better to be silent.

"I haven't changed my mind". She added. "But I still don't see the problem with this". She stopped talking and Sam noticed how close she was, when his eyes fell on her once again.

"You should go". He whispered, his voice not fully convincing himself that he really wanted her to leave.

"Not until you tell me why you won't even think about it Sam". She was watching him intently as she spoke, her feet shifting around but not carrying her any closer.

"That is the problem, I have thought about this". Sam suddenly bit out, her eyes widening slightly at his harsh tone.

Or his honesty, about having thought about it.

"Sam, if you don't want to do this, just tell me". Andy was backing away slowly, her hands finding their way out in surrender.

Now it was Sam's turn to move towards her, his voice carrying over the distance between them.

"That's the other problem, I do want to do this".

She had come to a stop, her feet refusing to move away anymore, so Sam leaned a little closer, to whisper in her ear, and inhale her scent. "I can't stay away from you anymore". His hand came up to tuck her loose hair behind her ear, before running his knuckles gently across the skin of her face, a sigh escaping her lips at the contact.

"Then don't". Her hands had slipped up on to his arms, holding him close, yet holding him at a distance too.

She could smell the sweet aroma of whiskey on his breath as it consumed the air around her, mingling with his scent, one of fabric softener, and one solely of Sam.

Breathing in her scent, his face hovering in her hair, Sam felt all resistance crumble as he ran pepper like kisses over her jaw, his nose seeking hers out and nudging against it as she leaned against him.

His lips caressed her skin until they found hers, claiming them in the softest of kisses. His lips weren't hungry, or invasive, or taunting, they were slow and sweet and still restrained.

Sensing his hesitancy, Andy leaned flush against him, her arms sliding up his arms and over his shoulders, one hand caressing the back of his neck while the other slivered up and tangled itself in his hair. She deepened the kiss, making Sam loose himself in her touch.

Pulling away, Sam let his hand cup her face, his fingertips running down to her chin where he placed a single finger and lifted her chin.

"If we do this, there's no going back". His voice was husky, his eyes hooded. Andy nodded, her voice locked away somewhere deep inside.

Sam pulled her closer, his hand sliding from under her chin into her hair and around the back of her head, as his lips sought hers out yet again. But this time, the kiss was fueled by desire, need and hunger as intensified in depth quicker than the first one.

Sam's hands ran over her arms, goosbumps making their presence known as his fingers trailed down to her wrists before leaving her bare skin and settling on her hips.

Pulling her impossibly closer, Sam felt the burning flames of desire combust within him, he had officially reached the point where he wouldn't be able to stop himself anymore.

His hands slid from her hips around the back to settle on her lower back, her body responding beneath his hands and lips as she reciprocated with equal fervor.

Her hands winding around his neck and running through his hair was pure bliss, suck a simple act that drove him insanely crazy.

Letting his hands slowly move down to her backside, Sam left them to rest there, giving her the last chance to back out, but instead she elicited a low moan and snuggled into him.

With that, Sam was done waiting, so he let his hands slide down a little lower before scooping her up, her legs automatically wrapping around him as their lips broke their breathless attachment to each other.

Her hair cast a curtain around them, shutting the outside world out as his lips sought out the sensitive skin of her neck while his feet took sure steps towards his bedroom.

Laying her gently on the bed, Sam hovered over her, his lips spreading peppered kisses over her face and neck while his hand moved to smother lightly over the front of her shirt, gently teasing her breast. Her hands slivering down his sides and tugging on the hem of his T-shirt the second her hands found the edge.

Leaning up on his knees, one on each side of one of her legs, he discarded the material before hearing the telltale sounds of her shoes meeting the floor from being kicked off.

Letting his hand find one of hers, he gently tugged her up into a sitting position, her lips seeking out the skin of his neck when she was close enough, while her hands ran over the now bare flesh of his chest, a low groan emitting from him at the contact.

His hands found the hem of her shirt, her arms lifting in willing response to his need to strip her of the material, revealing a purple and white bra that made him wonder how he had gone so long without being able to touch her, kiss her, or feel her.

Her hands instantly moved back to his bare flesh, his need to touch her becoming almost too much to bare. So he leaned forwards, her actions compliant again when she willingly lay back on his bed, her hair fanning out perfectly over his pillows.

Crawling up over her, he let one single fingertip drift over her skin, from her neck down over her cleavage, between her breasts and over her stomach where he rested his palm flat against her smooth skin. She pulled him closer in that moment, seeking to feel more of him, a careless whimper escaping her lips when their skin made contact.

Pulling away, his breath labored, Sam slipped a hand under her back, the clasp of her bra springing free by a simple twitch of his fingers. Pulling the hindering material down her arms, his lips sought out the newly bared flesh, her back arching as she reveled in the feeling of his mouth against her skin.

Her hands drift to his jeans, her fingers nimbly tugging on the button, a sign she wanted them gone now. So he pulled away, and rid himself of his jeans and boxers before letting his hands run up her legs on the outside, all the way until he found her hips. Moving his hands over the skin above her jeans, he worked his way to the button, his fingers teasing with their torturingly slow pace.

Over the next few seconds, Andy lifted herself off the bed and Sam tugged off her jeans, and panties which happened to match her bra.

Fully unclothed on his bed, Sam took the sight of her in, trailing his fingers up her bare skin from her ankles to her chin before leaning in and claiming her lips once again in a kiss that could only be described as searing agony.

Her body pressing firmly against his, her sweet moans, making him want more, but this was about what she wanted, what she needed, so he let his hand roam over her breasts, making her tremble slightly to his touch.

Her hands were lost in his hair, her nails scraping against his scalp while her fingers tugged his locks, making him wish the moment would last forever.

Her hands left his head, sliding down his neck and shoulders before finding his back, her hands squeezing, telling him what she wanted.

He was all over her, but it wasn't enough. She wanted more, she needed more, she needed him.

He was setting a slow pace that was driving her insane, so she moved her hands to his back, her fingers pressing into his skin lightly so that he would know what she wanted.

He lifted himself away, the cool night air filling the slight space between them, as she opened her eyes to find him watching her, seeking permission to bury himself within her.

She only needed to nod slightly, her teeth finding their way over her bottom lip as the anticipation ran through her.

He was already resting between her legs, his desire for her pressing lightly where she wanted it the most. So leaning forwards to pull him down, her permission sealed with a kiss, she felt him slide up and slowly enter her.

The earth fell away in that single moment, her body arching up to meet his slow entry, where he paused after moving a fraction forward. He pulled back, then moved forwards a little more, thrusting a little deeper than he had before, her moan fluttering out into his mouth as their tongues dueled for dominance.

His hand traveled down from her breast, running along her ribs and hip, before sliding under her thigh and lifting her leg as he thrust deeper, the sudden feeling of him within her causing her to cry out in pleasure.

He slid back, pulling himself all the way out, before thrusting back into her, his teasing earning another moan from her, while her body arched against his in search of more, and her fingers dug into his back.

Lost within her, his pace picked up, his lips finding the sweet spot she had on her neck behind her ear, where he assaulted the skin with gentle nibbles and warm kisses.

Feeling her draw nearer to her release, Sam pulled extracted himself from her, sitting back and pulling her up into his lap so that she was straddling him. Instead of burying himself in her, he let his hands and his mouth roam over her skin and tangle in her hair.

His hand found the nape of her neck and pulled on her hair their, forcing her forward cast head to lift so that his lips could claim the flesh of her neck.

"Please...". Her voice whispered, her throat vibrating under his lips as he continued to relentlessly nibble and lick her skin. He was deliberately doing it, winding her up, and it was becoming unbearable.

"Mmmmm". His lips vibrated against her throat, sending shock waves through her. "Please what?". He was torturing her, his desire for her evident in the way his erection was pressing against her.

"I...need". He had her so lost in the moment, the feeling, that her brain couldn't form a single thought and her lips could only mumble incoherently.

"Say it". His voice was hoarse in her ear, his hand tugging her hair back even further so that her head would lift as he moved away to look at her, his eyes burning holes into her soul.

Her eyes matched his, fire raging deep within them as her lips fumbled for words.

"I need you". Her voice was more assertive, yet it was still breathless as she said what he wanted to hear.

Without breaking contact, Sam's hands wrapped around her waist and gently lifted her up and entering her.

His hands tightened around her waist, while he slid in and out of her, her sweet moan like music to his ears.

She leaned forwards, matching him thrust for thrust, her head thrown back in sheer ecstasy as he continued to devour her.

When he felt her tighten around him, his hands left her hips and sought out hers, his fingers interlacing with hers as he lifted their arms up and watched her.

She was the most beautiful creature when she came undone, something he always had a tendency to watch, she was totally free in that moment, weightless, and at her most unguarded when she fell over the edge, her trembles turning to shudders as she rode out her orgasm.

"You're so beautiful". The words slipped out while he watched her loose herself, a whisper uttered in the throws of passion that should have been uttered in silence in his head.

Her eyes opened, her lips curving up into the feint traces of a smile as her fingers clung to his a little tighter.

Leaning forwards she fused her lips to his, forcefully, tipping them back so that Sam was laying flat and she was now straddling him. She tugged her hands free, and let them move to his chest, so that she could move up and down, keeping herself steady by putting her weight on her arms.

Sam was in awe watching her, he was fully sheathed inside her, and she was giving herself to him with reckless abandonment, something she had only ever done twice before.

His breathing was rendered loud and free as her name tumbled off his lips when he found his release deep inside her, her hips rolling over him as she drank him in.

Collapsing on top of him, her breath fanned out down his neck, sending shivers that rivaled his surrender, his hands tempted to run up and down her back, but unsure of how she would react, he let the rest still instead.

Rolling them over, Sam tugged up the blankets to cover them, his eyes still watching her face for any signs that this was more.

But she had tucked herself up facing away from him, her face hidden from his prying sight.

As sleep took over, one thought remained in his mind, she had smiled when he had said she was beautiful.

**Thanks for reading, I would seriously love to hear your opinions in reviews!**


	6. Sleeping to Dream of You

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**Chapter 6**

**Sleeping to Dream of You**

Her breathing eventually evened out, sleep clutching her tightly, while his mind ran wild, his eyes focused on the ceiling even though it was dark.

He lay still, in the silence, his eyes pinching closed while her scent still lingered potently around him, he was trying to seek the escape of sleep, yet not finding it, as it continued to elude him.

An immeasurable amount of time passed, sleep still a distant illusion for him, while it claimed her so peacefully. She mumbled something, and rolled over, her hands seeking him out as she snuggled closer. He lifted his arm, giving her room to move untouched, but yet she sought him out, curling up to his side, her breath tickled his chest when her ahead came to rest on it, and her hair tickled his face as his breath billowed out into it.

Wrapping his arm slowly around her, his smile invaded his face, his heart rate quickening at having her freely move into his arms, even if it was only in her sleep, while she was here.

The point was, she was here.

Sleep claimed him soon after she had moved closer, sweet dreams filled with her staying here, like this, taking over.

It was still dark when he felt her stiffen under his hand, her breathing coming out in rasps as she realized where she had crawled to. Loosening his hand, keeping his eyes closed, he left her with the option of moving away, which she did slowly and quietly, thinking he was still wrapped under the claws of sleep.

She slid out of bed, her feet pattering onto the floor as Sam listened to her shuffling around the room, no doubt retrieving her scattered items of clothing.

In less than ten minutes, she was dressed and closing the front door behind her as she slipped out silently into the cool morning air.

The days flew by, rolling into weeks, the much anticipated awkwardness at work just a figment of his imagination. Their working relationship found new territory, it was pleasant and friendly, probably to hide their secret indiscretions.

As weeks rolled into months, the warm weather faded, the nights growing colder, the leaves falling from the trees in a ray of oranges and yellows.

Their affair had made its three month milestone, a comfortable pattern forming between them.

Sam never approached Andy about coming over, or going over to hers, he left the choice to her, and he would usually find a text close to the end of shift asking if she could come over, his reply always the same- a simple okay.

She had asked him to come over twice, since the beginning of their agreement, and both times she had gone to shower and he had dressed and left before she returned, after all her rule was- no sleepovers, at her place anyway. But oddly enough after the second time, she stopped asking him to come over. The thought made him smile, small indiscretions flickering in hope.

Twice in those three months, he'd also come home to find her sitting on his front steps waiting for him, a content look across her face at seeing him arrive, after having sat there waiting for who knows how long.

She would peacefully sleep in his bed, and wind up tangling herself around him in her sleep, her legs thrown over his and her hand flat on his chest. He relished in those moments, the free contact she gave him without any ulterior motive, and once or twice she had even slept long enough for him to wake up first and make her coffee, which would usually get a disapproving stare before the smell drew her smile out.

Shifts went smoothly, Andy staying mostly out of trouble much to Sam's relief, now that he was working the Detectives rotation, he had to trust her safety to her partners.

As the week drew to a close, Sam made his way to the Penny for drinks with Oliver, Andy not sending him a text to meet up later, so he assumed he'd run into her at the Penny.

His assumption was right, half an hour after he sat down and ordered a beer, she walked in with Nash to be joined by Epstein and his new girlfriend a few minutes later.

Oliver rambled on about how crappy his new apartment was, he moved downtown after Zoe filed for a divorce, so he moved out and into the first available apartment he could find. Three hours later, drinks were still flowing, conversation between Sam and Oliver covering all topics.

Nash, Andy and Epstein's new girlfriend seemed to be having the standard saturday night fun, with sunday and monday off, they could afford to let their hair down and have a few, Sam figuring that Andy was about to enforce his no drinking rule and leave him alone for the night, a thought that made Sam feel lonely even though he was surrounded by a bar full of people.

Sam excused himself to use the men's room, a short walk past Andy's table en route to his destination.

As his feet made their way in the right direction, he glanced at Andy, his head hung a little low to avoid openly staring, her face contorted into a panicked look, her eyes wide and her mouth set in a tight line.

"Come on Andy, he's a great guy, you'd like him. We've never been on a double date". Epstein's voice rolled out in enthusiasm as he tried in vain to set Andy up on a date.

Sam turned away, his ears still listening for her answer, his breathing ceasing, and his heart stopping, while he waited, his feet still moving away.

"Um...I'm kind of...have a thing...with someone" her voice sounded louder than necessary as she stammered words that didn't match or form a coherent sentence out.

Sam stepped out of earshot, confusion and a feeling that could only be described as euphoria rushing through him simultaneously.

She had just turned down a date, a chance at something more, because she had a 'Thing' with 'Someone', him.

That didn't even make sense.

While washing his hands, his phone vibrated in his pocket, signaling a text. Drying his hands off he pulled his phone out, a soft smile tugging at his lips when he saw her name flashing on the screen.

'Can I break a rule?'.

His smile slid off his face, sudden fear replacing the hope he was barely clinging to.

Typing a reply, still in the bathroom, he sent the text, not willing to go out there before he knew what he was walking into.

'Depends. Which one?'.

Her reply was instantaneous.

'Well 2, 1 of mine, 1 of yours?'.

Sam stared at the screen, temptation running rampant at actually calling her, or going over to her table and asking her verbally what rules she wanted to break.

'Which 2?'. He fired back, his eyes moving to take in the new occupant that just walked into the men's room.

"Wrong bathroom" he said trying to find a smile as he met her chocolate eyes as she giggled.

"Nope, right one, you're here".

"So I've turned you from sweet and innocent into a real rule breaker?". Trying to lighten his mood, he cracked a joke, that failed miserably, even though she was smiling.

"Sam, I was never innocent". She giggled out, her hand finding its way to the wall, trying to hold up a straight posture.

"Anyway, I wanted to know if I can have permission to break the rules... just for tonight?". Her face turned serious, her lip between her teeth as soon as the words stopped making their exit.

"Depends, which two McNally".

Even though this was her arrangement, there were just some things he wouldn't budge on, or rules he would beak.

"Um... The whole drinking thing...?". Well it was a bit late for that one already, considering she was holding the wall up.

"And the second?".

"The whole sleepover thing?".

Sam just looked at her, his mind conjuring up seven hundred places she could ask to sleep in.

"I don't see how that has anything to do with me?". He really wasn't getting what she was trying to say.

"I said no sleepovers right? But you made a rule that I sleep in your bed?".

Sam nodded.

"So can I...just sleep?".

Okay, he wasn't expecting that one.

"In my bed?". He just needed to clarify the set up she had in mind.

She nodded, her cheeks flaming as she looked away really embarrassed at her request.

Digging his keys out of his pocket, he dangled them in front of her, her hand creeping out slowly to grab them.

"Just wait in the truck, text me when you're ready to leave". Sam felt his dimples flare, something that hadn't been happening a lot in recent memory.

Sam left the bathroom, Andy slipping out behind him and heading for the ladies, his keys firmly tucked away in her pocket.

Oliver was talking to Epstein when he reclaimed his abandoned bar stool, fresh beers waiting on the counter, Oliver slipping back into his seat the second sam sat down.

"So, McNally's seeing someone". Oliver suddenly blurted out, his eyes trained on Sam watching his response and scrutinizing it intently.

"So?". Sam took a long sip of his fresh beer, the cool liquid helping to hide his smile.

"How'd you feel about that?".

"She's free to do what she wants Oliver, if she's moving on, then that's a good thing...for her". As Sam spoke, he felt eyes on him and turned to see Andy watching them, their conversation obviously audible to her judging by her face.

Sam looked back at Oliver who turned to face Andy before he turned back to find Andy gone, Nash staring at the door of the Penny as it swung closed.

Sam turned back to his beer, taking another sip and setting the bottle down.

"Don't stay out too late". He said knowing that Oliver had no reason to rush home anymore.

Sliding off his chair, Sam headed out the door, Andy's silhouette sitting in his truck.

He drove home, the silence in the truck suffocating. Andy kept staring out the window while the city sped by in a kaleidoscope of lights.

"So...can you um...". Andy turned to face him, before turning away, her words stuck between her mind and her throat.

"Wanna try that again?". Sam's tone was slightly dry and edgy, he was sensing that he probably wouldn't like what was about to come out of her mouth.

"This is stupid, but can you promise me something?". Her voice was secure in its wording, her eyes facing him when he stopped at a red light.

"When you want out, you'll tell me?".

He just knew he wouldn't like what she was going to say, sudden thoughts that she wanted out of their arrangement surfacing as her words sunk in.

"Andy, if you ever want out, just say it okay, this isn't a contract".

Did he actually just say that?

Her head snapped up, her face paling slightly, or maybe it was the glow of the passing streetlights as he pulled away, he wasn't sure.

Maybe she'd had enough, maybe she wanted out. Maybe she wanted more- with someone else, or maybe she wanted normal- with someone else.

"No, I don't want out Sam. I just want to know that when you do, you'll tell me". Her voice was quiet and mousy as she looked down at her hands that seemed to fumble with each other in her lap.

"I promise". Sam whispered, no hesitation holding the words back as he silently added 'never to want out'.

His words drew a small smile from her, as she peered up at him from under her lashes, her frowning brow uncreasing as she looked at him before adding a soft "Me too", making Sam want to reach out and hold her hand.

Arriving at his house, Sam got out and opened the front door, before returning to the truck to retrieve their bags.

Making his way inside, he found Andy loitering around in the lounge like she suddenly felt out of place.

Walking through to his bedroom, he set their bags down before going in search of her.

"You okay?". He inching closer as she stood looking at photos of Sarah and her family that she had seen a million times before.

"Yup, just thinking". Her tone was reserved, like she wasn't willing to share her thoughts, so Sam dropped the subject, holding out his hand instead, hoping she would take it.

"Go to sleep Andy". Sam said walking her to his bedroom door and letting go of her hand, his hands finding his pockets really interesting as they slid in to restrain themselves from reaching out to her.

Andy's eyes widened at him all but leaving her there, her head shaking slightly, her hair moving slightly by the action.

"Could you...um...?". Andy shifted around from foot to foot nervously as her hand pointed towards his bed, her voice trailing off so that the rest of their conversation could be carried out in silence.

Sam's lips curved up a tiny bit, her blush seeping out over her cheeks as she looked towards the bed and back at him, her eyes lit up like a christmas tree.

"Just to sleep". Sam whispered by way of telling her that she would be sleeping and nothing else, earning a nod from her.

Ever since their break up he had, had trouble sleeping in his bed without her, it just felt too empty. It took him five months to be able to get four hours sleep in his bed, although he seemed to find himself sleeping on the couch more than in bed. When she came back and their sleeping arrangements were altered, he was getting a good nights sleep when he was with her, but still felt the emptiness when he slept alone.

And tonight she asked to be here, just to sleep, and for him to climb in beside her when she went to sleep, making him wonder if it was the same for her, lonely in an empty bed when he wasn't around.

The thought sent his heart racing, his hands getting sweaty palms at the possibility that maybe he was breaking through her defenses, and that some of her lost feelings were returning to the surface.

He nodded once, and withdrew his hands from his pockets, before nodding towards the lounge.

"Get into bed, I'm gonna lock up".

Andy nodded, bouncing into his bedroom, as he moved down the hall to give her some time to get ready for bed.

When he came back ten minutes later, Andy was snuggled under the covers, still awake, the top of his T-shirt from the wedding sticking out under the covers.

The sweet smell of toothpaste and soap floated around in the room, along with her hand cream.

Ten minutes in the bathroom got him ready for bed, Andy still awake as he stepped out the bathroom and turned off the light before sliding into bed.

He had put a T-shirt on, not wanting to imply anything by getting into bed with just his boxers on, Andy's eyes falling on the material as he pulled the covers up over himself and mirrored her position of laying on his back.

When he was settled, Andy crept closer, and curled up into him, only this time she was fully wide awake. He stiffened slightly under her touch as her hand slipped under his shirt and her palm flattened on his stomach, the warmth of her hand sending shock waves through his body.

"Night Sam". Her words were breathy, uttered out on a sigh, while her hand pressed lightly against his skin as she spoke.

"Night Andy". Sam breathed into her hair as her head came to lay on his arm, his flesh her pillow, his arm wrapping around her in comfort.

**Thanks for spending some time of your life reading this! I hope you'll leave your mark on it by leaving a review? **


	7. Enough Courage to Say No

**As always, thank you for all the follows & reviews! You guys always make my day!**

**Here's the next chapter, so I hope you'll enjoy it, don't forget to review!**

**Chapter 7**

**Enough Courage to say No**

Sunlight filtering through the curtains made him stir, a weight still curled up into his side, warmth spreading where her touch found his skin.

A contented sigh escaped his lips, her head bopping up to gaze at him at the sound he made.

"Hi". She mumbled, her cheeks flushing with color.

"Hi". Sam answered, his heart lost somewhere between heaven and the garden of eden.

Pulling away, she left a sudden chill to run over him, replacing the warmth of her body with shards of cool air, as she trickled into the bathroom, the door closing quietly behind her.

Sam got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen to put coffee on, the aroma filling the house as soon as it began brewing, bringing with it a promise of a new day.

Ten minutes later Andy emerged from his bedroom, fully dressed and looking refreshed although she had, had enough alcohol the night before to get a sailor drunk.

She gave Sam a shy smile when he handed her a cup of coffee, just the way she liked it, her usual scowl not making its appearance this morning.

After finishing her coffee, and making small talk, Andy nodded towards the door, her need to escape evident on her face as she looked around seeking a feeble excuse to leave.

"Want a ride home?". Sam broke the silence, Andy nodding as her eyes swept over the floor.

Sam had to pay a visit to Sarah today, her birthday, and missing it when he had already promised to come down, would only get him in a heap of crap. He was tempted to ask Andy to go with him, but really didn't think they were there yet, so he kept the question bottled up inside him, just like everything else.

After dropping Andy off at home and getting a peck on the cheek, much to his surprise, Sam made the journey to St Catherines, his mind wondering over the shift in his relationship with Andy.

On his way home, the longing to be near her broke his resolve to stay away, so he sent her a text asking if she wanted to come over, the first time he had ever initiated contact with her.

But it wasn't about sex, it was about seeing her, spending time with her, being around her.

Her reply came a few minutes later, 'Nope, Blackout so going to stay locked away'.

Sam was still forty-five minutes outside Toronto city limits, where there was power, so approaching home as the sun set opened up a whole new world of darkness as his mind thought back to the last blackout they had shared.

Pulling over when he spotted a store, Sam ran in and brought what he needed before driving closer towards the object of his desire.

Knocking on her door, he felt nervous about just showing up, another first for him, and them in their new found affair.

She was surprised when she opened the door, her smile growing as she took the sight of him in.

"Hi". He said holding up the bags, her eyes shifting to them before she stepped aside and let him in.

Sam put the bags down on the kitchen counter and looked up to find Andy eyeing the contents as he began unpacking them.

Considering the power was out, she probably hadn't eaten, and as a rule she had to be fed. Good excuse right?

"It's a rule, you've got to eat". Sam said as he laid out the packets of savory biscuits, tins of tuna and muscles followed by a jar of cheese spread and cold meats, chicken and cocktail sausages, french loaf and rye bread.

Next came the wine and beer, Andy's eyebrows raising in question as he set the beers down. Yet another day of breaking the rules.

"You've got permission for tonight too".

Sam said opening a beer and handing it to her.

"Thank you". She whispered, her eyes sparkling.

Noticing that Sam hadn't taken a beer for himself, Andy handed her open one to him and grabbed another one, screwing the lid off and taking a long sip, a silent invitation for him to stay.

Gesturing towards the food Andy cleared her throat before settling on the right words, her hand shipping a piece of hair out of her face to tuck it in behind her ear.

"I hope its... A meal for two?". She deliberately left the word dinner out, even though it was that time of the day, her rule had been no dinner, so she substituted it with meal instead.

"So you want me to stay?". Sam couldn't resist teasing her, although his actual reason for asking that question was, he wanted to hear her say it, hear her ask him to stay, hear the actual words.

But as if she sensed it, she nodded, her lips mute when it came to saying the words.

"Okay". He couldn't argue with that.

As darkness loomed in her home, Andy suddenly scurried off returning with three candles and a flashlight.

She lit the candles and put them in the lounge, creating a very ambient setting that made Sam really uncomfortable, not because it was here, or with her, but because he just knew the power was going to come back on and totally spoil the mood.

She was even more beautiful in the flickering light of the candles, the soft glow making her hair a richer brown and her eyes darker orbs. Her skin flickered in the movement, shadows cast over her face dancing as she smiled at him.

This was just so easy, to be here like this with her, his mind trying to find a memory that came even close to this when they were officially labeled as a dating couple.

But much to his own disgust, there wasn't one.

They spent time talking, and reflecting over light hearted topics, drinking wine and beer and snaking on the nibbles Sam brought. Life was simple.

It was like it was supposed to be like this.

Sam took his phone out to check the time, finding it a little after nine pm and still dark as the blackout extended into the night.

Andy glanced around nervously like she was holding back from saying something as Sam cleaned up some of their mess and gathered his keys and phone, a sign that he was leaving.

Just as Sam turned to face Andy, she was right behind him, her presence closer than he thought, his words of 'I've gotta go' suddenly getting lost in translation between his brain and lips.

"I...um owe you a sleepover". Andy stammered, her cheeks a rosy red hue, her lip tucking between her teeth when her lips stopped moving.

Without thinking Sam moved a single finger up to her lips, and gently touched it so that her teeth would release it, his finger staying pressed against her supple skin as he thought of words to do this without offending her.

He simply couldn't stay.

"Andy...". Her name came out as a sigh, his finger still lingering against her lip, her eyes searching his.

"I don't think...".

His words were cut off when she pressed her fingertips against his lips, mirroring his pose.

"I really want you to stay". Her voice was so hushed he barely caught her words, but with her she didn't need to speak for him to know what she wanted to say- well most of the time, with everything except what she was thinking or feeling.

"Andy...". He wanted to stay, but right now, it was just too hard.

To hard to keep words he shouldn't say away from his lips.

"We've got tomorrow morning off, we can sleep late, you don't need to run out the door everytime".

What?

Did she actually just say that?

It was her rule, one that had been slipping, but it was one he tried to enforce- for her.

"Please?". She had the whole puppy-dog expression across her face, her voice conveying desperation.

"Andy...".

She retracted her fingers away from his lips like his skin had scalded the delicate flesh of her hand, and she stepped back, adding just a little space between them.

Sam's hand instinctively reached out for her hand, pulling her closer so that she treated two steps before crashing into him.

"If I stay...". Exactly how was he supposed to word this?

She just looked up at him, her eyes so dark he could get lost in them.

"I won't be able to stay away if I stay" and he meant it, for the first time, he was sort of initiating contact with her, his need to be enveloped by her making his determination to not cross that line slip and fade away completely.

"Then don't". Andy whispered leaning into him, her hands had found their way to his chest when he pulled her closer, her face just inches away from his, and they slid up to his neck, wrapping around it and pulling him towards her.

Her lips rammed into his, in desperation, in desire, in the dark. Sam expecting the lights to flicker on like they had the last time they were in this position.

His mouth reciprocated, his lips hungry for more as his hand ran up her arm, over her shoulder and his fingers got lost in her hair, his other hand circling her waist to puller that tiny, little bit closer.

A growl escaped his lips, as she nibbled on his bottom lip, setting fire to every single nerve ending hat made up his body.

She ran her hands back down his shoulders and to his chest, pushing him away slightly, both of them breathless.

Sliding her one hand down his arm, her fingers wrapped around his hand, lifting it up so that the other hand could intertwine their fingers, as she tugged him towards the couch, the back of his knees meeting the front of it silently.

Gently, yet forcibly, Andy shoved him backwards, his body complying and flopping down into a sitting position,

She climbed onto his lap, surprising him with such an intimate action, her head resting against his shoulder, her face snuggled up into his neck, her breath fanning out over his skin.

"You know that's not why I'm here right?". Sam said looking down at her, her eyes sparkling under his gaze.

She nodded, telling him she knew, before she reached up, her hand flattening against his cheek, his face warming from her touch.

Leaning up, she let butterfly kisses spray over his face, her lips finally meeting his sweetly.

The kiss intensified, Sam's hand wrapping around her to stop her from toppling off his lap when she moved to straddle him.

Her kisses were passionate, more intense than he had ever felt from her. Her hands freely roaming any of his skin that they could find, clinging on to his, like she was afraid he would evaporate.

Sam felt her hands slip down his chest as she leaned back slightly to give herself more room. They skimmed under his shirt and found his bare flesh, the warmth of her hands driving him to infinity and beyond.

Her hands stayed flat against his chest, his hands sliding to the back of her thighs and holding on tightly, his legs moving to stand up before things went any further on her couch.

As Sam stood up, the most beautiful sound erupted out of Andy, a girly giggle that had no boundaries as it floated freely through the air, her cheeks flaming in red, even in the dark when he looked at her.

He had missed the sweet melody, something about it just made him shudder and shiver whenever she had let it free. It was infectious and always resulted in his wearing a deep dimpled grin.

"Something funny McNally?".

Her head had dropped a little, probably trying to hide her school-girl blush, so his words made it whip up again at the sound of his whispered voice.

"Nope". She was trying desperately to hold in her giggle, her voice cracking and slightly off key as she tried to suppress it by suddenly clamping her lips closed into a straight line.

Sam's eyebrow rose in a questioning look, her arms now locked behind his neck, and his hands firmly holding on to her thighs.

Andy's eyes looked into his, raging fire burning in their depths as he kept looking into the darkened orbs.

He was fighting the temptation he had to carry her to her bedroom, the urge powerful enough that he lost his self control until her giggle broke the spell and drew him out of his lust induced haze.

This wasn't why he was here, wasn't what he came here for, and he needed her to understand that the need for more was still deeply embedded inside him, before she realized that she had options, and that he was only one of a few men that would relish in calling her his.

Epstein's attempt at setting her up on a date still fresh in his mind, and her words on the way home making him even more desperate to make her remember, make her understand, make her feel like she was the only one he would ever love.

Breaking contact with her, he let his fingers loosen their grip on her legs, until she understood that he wanted to let her down.

Her feet met the floor silently, her brows furrowed in confusion, as she looked up at him.

Andy blinked rapidly, her hands still wrapped around his neck. Putting a little more space between them, Sam felt his brain kick in, his rationality seeping in as his need for more overturned his desire to bed her. His hands still wrapped around her hips squeezed lightly, his lips curving up a fraction as he saw no signs of rejection showing on her face.

As if the universe was in total agreement with his decision to step away, the lights suddenly flickered on in the lounge, the tv suddenly blaring as it sprang to life, the lights bathing them in their flickering glows.

Andy sighed and let her head fall on to Sam's chest, a clear sign that she thought the world was conspiring against her.

Twenty minutes later, Sam was standing in the doorway saying goodnight to Andy, when he suddenly leaned a little closer and planted a soft kiss on her temple, before walking away. He had no reason, he just needed one final touch, one final smell of her shampoo, one last breath of her before going home and trying to sleep alone, in an empty bed in his crusade to win her heart back.

Slipping in between the cold sheets, Sam was satisfied with his decision to back off. Andy somehow seemed to find him saying no an acceptable decision and wore no signs of being offended, something that he cherished.

He couldn't deny that the sex was great, it was better than before, it was more passionate, more sensual, and totally and utterly mind blowing, but it wasn't the only thing he wanted.

He wanted, her, all of her.

He wanted morning kisses when they woke up, he wanted late nights watching tv, with her laying in his lap, his hand lost in her hair. He wanted to listen to her soft breathing when she slept next to him, and to hear her soft giggles fill the room whenever she saw the opportunity to let it out. He wanted people to know they were together, to see them at the store holding hands. He wanted dinner dates, and weekends away, soft touches and careless caresses in timeless moments. He wanted the whole nine yards.

But getting from point A to point B seemed to be eluding him, although her whole outlook on their relationship seemed to have changed, he couldn't help but wonder if it was because she had slipped into the comfortable familiarity that they once had.

He really needed to find a way to see deeper into what she felt, but that was dangerous ground to tread with running the risk of seeing how she really felt. There was the chance that she didn't feel any different than the day she did when she left for Dakota, and if he made the wrong move or said the wrong thing, he could loose her again, permanently. Not something he was willing to risk.

As if reading his mind, his phone buzzed, a text from her ceasing all thoughts as he read over the words.

'Are we making a mistake?'.

It didn't take a heap of intelligence to figure out that she was feeling a little rejected because he said no, and maybe she was even rethinking over his words of that he didn't want to back out.

'Do you?'. Maybe she really did want out.

'I asked first'. Came the instant reply.

'No, I don't think we are'. He really didn't, especially not if it was a way to them closer.

He fired off a second text, before overthinking it. 'Do you?'.

His phone stayed silent longer than it had before, time edging on and making him wonder if she was really looking for an out, and just didn't know how to say it.

'I haven't decided yet'. Popped on to his screen just as he contemplated calling her.

What did that even mean?

Her words left a whole reel of questions to run through his mind, some positive, some negative. Did she mean that because he was getting too close or because there was nothing left on her side that he could salvage?

The thought terrified him.

Seconds later, his phone lit up again, a simple 'Goodnight Sam' making its appearance across his screen.

Sending 'Night Andy' back, Sam put his phone back down on the night stand, his mind working overtime at how to delve deeper into this without screwing it up again.

After staring at the ceiling for an hour, his mind was made up, maybe he'd ask her to go out in public with him, maybe for drinks at the Penny.

Without labeling it a date, he should get some idea of which way this might swing from her response.

With a heavy heart, and deep thoughts on his mind, he finally managed to fall asleep, his dreams filled with soft giggles, morning kisses and happy brown eyes.

**Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading!**


	8. Unspoken Promises

**Wow, thanks for all the amazing reviews, and follows, you guys have blown me away. **

**Chapter 8**

**Unspoken Promises**

The following few days breezed by, work occupying Sam's waking hours as his case load got swamped.

He had seen Andy around the barn a few times, but always seemed to miss the window of opportunity to have a private work with her. Not that he wasn't trying, it was just the same old story of the universe conspiring against him.

He contemplated calling or texting her, but decided against it as she seemed to be enjoying time away from him.

After shifts he would stop at the Penny, but she still remained missing, never showing up, no matter how much he wished for her to.

When he did see her across the barn, or in the parade room, her smile was there, and so was the flush over her cheeks when she caught him watching her, so he knew she wasn't mad, she wasn't wearing her angry face.

By the end of the week, Andy still kept her distance, Sam's nerve at actually asking her out dwindling as time rushed by.

By Thursday, he was having trouble sleeping, the cold sheets a sore reminder of what he was missing.

On Friday, he decided to hang around a little after shift, hoping that he would be able to catch her and maybe even give her a ride to the Penny for a drink before taking her home- and dropping her off alone at her own home.

By seven-thirty, she was still missing, their shift having swapped out at seven pm.

"Epstein, you seen McNally or Shaw?". Sam caught Epstein coming down the hall out the men's locker room just as he rounded the corner.

"They're still on scene with Traci Sir, a domestic gone bad...um, Andy had to shoot the father".

How the hell had he missed that?

Oh right, nobody told him anything McNally related since they broke up because they we're shielding her.

"Address?". Sam sputtered out without hesitation, Epstein's face breaking up into a small smile that he failed miserably to keep hidden.

"They radioed in about ten minutes ago, they're on their way in".

Sam nodded at Epstein before walking back in the direction he came from and only stopped when he made it back into his office.

He fidgeted around with the paperwork scattered across his table, then he glanced at the phone, and tapped his pen before flopping down into his chair and staring across the barn, waiting to catch sight of her.

An hour later, he was still waiting, so he made the snappy decision to call Oliver and just ask him where he was.

He did not feel happy hearing that Oliver was already at home, that he somehow managed to miss sight of him, Andy and Nash.

Shaking his head, he left his office and made his way to his truck with one destination in mind.

Rapping gently on her front door, he expected it to swing open and find her disheveled behind it, but didn't. Instead he found her strangely composed, even though she was wearing a pale complexion.

It was the second time she'd had to shoot someone, and no doubt if they came in so late and she slipped past unnoticed she was attempting to run from it, because she probably killed the guy.

So opened the door, and turned around and walked in, silence following her as she padded across the floor and practically threw herself down on the couch.

Sam followed, his voice failing to find the right words.

Sitting down next to her, he stared blankly at the tv screen, as minutes passed, her lingering silence starting to eat away at him.

Without warning, Andy jumped up off the couch and headed for the kitchen, broken words sounding like 'I'll...you...beer' as she walked away.

Sam waited for her to return, his eyes focused on the tv although the images relayed to his brain weren't focused enough to make sense.

She stayed away long enough to make Sam wonder where she went, so he got up and went in search of her.

He didn't need to go far to find her.

She was standing in the kitchen, her head down, her face hidden away behind a dark curtain of hair, her hands braced on the counter, her knuckles white from the pressure she was forcing her hand to hold the counter top with.

"Andy...". Sam didn't know what to say, although he knew exactly what he wanted to do. He wanted to envelope her in a hug and hang on until her sadness evaporated.

At the sound of her name her head snapped up, her hair parting to reveal red, puffy eyes and tears still glistening on her cheeks, her head shaking slightly as if she was tempting fate by trying to tell him that she was okay.

Sam cursed the world, for breaking something already so fragile more than she already was.

Without thinking it over, Sam walked up to her, and wrapped his hand around hers still clutching the counter top, before pulling it and her towards him.

She moved without protest, a soft sob escaping as he wrapped his arms around her, and let her tears flow freely into his chest.

They stood there, her softly sniveling, him gently smoothing a hand over her hair, the outside world shut out beyond this moment.

"Why is it always this hard?". Her voice sounded tormented as she whispered the words out slightly muffled into his chest.

"Andy taking a life is never easy, even if it was yours or theirs, or someone else's".

"Sam, he shot his kids, and just left them laying there...he wanted to shoot his wife, but we arrived and when he lifted his gun after I told him not too I just pulled the trigger".

The pieces fell into place, a clearer image of what she had been through making sense as to why she just suddenly lost it alone in the kitchen.

"Andy you did the right thing".

"No, I didn't do enough... I could have done more".

"You did what you could, if there was another way out you would have found it".

"No, I could have done more, tried harder. It's not the first time I've given up, last time it cost me...".

Her voice trailed off as she began to tremble under his hands.

"Andy, I don't think you have ever given up, or will ever give up, no matter what".

As soon as Sam's words left his lips, her head began to shake slightly, telling him that she was not in agreement with what he was saying.

"You don't get it Sam". Suddenly her head lifted and she pulled away, avoiding making eye contact with Sam.

"So explain it to me then".

But his request just got her head shaking a little more, denial rolling off of her.

"I made the mistake of giving up once Sam, trust me, it felt just like that all over again". Her arms wrapped around her waist as she leaned back against the counter top, a sad sigh audible in the room.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but it doesn't matter, so let it go Andy, please".

Sam didn't make any attempt to move closer, hoping that she would crawl out of her shell by her own.

"I know how this goes okay, I've given up on a couple of things too, and I've made mistakes, but I know that you would never give up, no matter what. I know if there was another way out you wouldn't have taken the shot, so don't go there, don't regret that decision, because like the last time, we both know it was the right thing to do".

Sam felt the shift in conversation, her words drawing closer to a personal level, rather than on the professional level she began speaking them on. He wondered briefly if she was referring to them, her refusal to delve any deeper into what she meant a sign that it wasn't something she wanted to talk about to him.

Her mood shifted suddenly, a loud sigh escaping as though she had surrendered and given up on hosting the hostility she felt towards herself.

Stepping towards her Sam saw no signs of the sad disposition she held when he arrived, instead she looked like a small amount of freedom had extended over her, freeing her from the weight of a bad day on the job.

"But next time, just call me okay?" his voice held concern as he spoke, her eyes widening slightly at his tendency to so openly care. "You know, when you need something" he added a split second later.

"Why?"

Sam stared at her as she uttered the word, did she really want him to give her a reason?

"Andy, no matter what happens, more than anything, I want us to be friends?" it came out as a question, as though he was asking her permission to be her friend, the array of words he had originally had in mind were in no way fitting to the moment, because he just didn't think that she was ready to hear them yet.

Her face did however light up at hearing his words, some kind of gratification barreling through her as the words seemed to lift her spirit even more transferring a smile to her lips and a sparkle to her eyes.

"Seriously?"

Her face had a teasing expression on it, almost doubtful as if she was questioning his desire to be friends with her.

"Yup"

Sam felt his smirk take over, as her face took a more colorful tone. She just really knew how to get to him.

"Sam, why would you want to be friends with me?"

There was the question that he just knew she was going to ask, the one question he so truthfully wanted to answer honestly, but couldn't.

So he settled for the next best thing, "Because you're awesome".

Andy broke out into a fit of giggles, as Sam felt a low chuckle emanate from himself in turn.

"So, wanna go grab dinner?". He let the words free themselves before he changed his mind, knowing that he was treading in dangerous territory by seeking to break another one of her rules.

But rules were meant to be broken right, it was what he did, and the rules had to go, it wasn't how he wanted them to be, living guided by rules that stopped them from being what they were destined to be.

Andy's eyes widened a fraction, her teeth biting down on her lip, her mind no doubt running through the rules.

"It's not a date, it's a rule McNally, you've got to eat". He loved pulling one of his rules over hers in an attempt to get his way, but he loved it even more when she let him do it.

Andy rolled her eyes, subtly enough to not be offending and dripping with sarcasm.

"No". The word aired itself between them stunning him slightly, but not diminishing his will to get his own way.

"Why not?".

"Sam...".

"Andy, that's not why I'm here, I just came to check that you were okay because the last time you shot someone you...".

"Jumped you?". Andy's words carried out on the light flicker of laughter, the sound making Sam smile and lick his lips while looking around the kitchen.

"Yup".

"You know that's the only time I've ever done that right?". Her tone sounded a little more serious as if she really wanted him to know it as a fact.

"What? Jumped me?". The amusement wasn't hidden from his voice, because in actual fact, it was not the only time.

"Jumped anyone". She still sounded mousy and serious, her gaze fixed on his when his eyes moved up in her direction.

"You're changing the subject". Sam's voice held its own hint of seriousness as he in turn spoke.

"Um...okay". Andy pushed off the counter and moved passed Sam before he had time to respond, in seconds she was gone, disappearing from his line of vision.

Less than two minutes later, she was back, wearing jeans and her shoes that somehow found themselves discarded when she came home.

"One condition Swarek". Her words were accompanied by a mischievous look on her face as she reached for her duffle bag next to the front door.

Sam raised an eyebrow and waited for her to lay down her condition.

"We have a sleepover at your house". With that she was out her front door.

Sam stared after her, his mind coming to a complete standstill.

He knew she liked sleeping in his bed, and she was far gone passed the point of no return when it came to keeping some of the rules they had started with, but this...this was different.

Somehow they had progressed to a more comfortable relationship than the one they had when they were labeled a couple, only now, neither of them were taking the other for granted. They weren't looking at each other as a routine, or a habit, they were looking at each other as a person.

Since his arrival earlier, Sam faced the possibility that a few moments had become personal, delving in to things that they were not mentioning in words.

Fear had laced its way through him a few times when she spoke, making him wonder if it was possible to fall even more in love with her than he already was. He knew he was afraid of losing her again, afraid that she would want out before he had a chance to properly show her what he wanted. He was scared of feeling so much for one person, knowing that he breathed every breath because she was still breathing, and his heart beat matched every one of hers, that every drop of blood that ran through him was kept alive by hers being pumped through her own body.

Watching the empty doorway, Sam let a dimpled smile take over his face, even though she wasn't there to see it.

She was moving closer, inching her way bit by bit towards letting her walls crumble and letting him in. All on her own.

She was letting him break the rules, letting him think he was winning, but the whole time, she was letting him win.

She was letting him in.

Shaking his head, Sam wondered briefly how life would be without her, the thoughts suddenly being pushed out of his mind as fast as they had appeared.

Life without her wasn't an option.

Life like this with her, wasn't what he wanted.

But as long as they were taking small steps in the right direction, he'd leave her to think she won the hand, because he was playing with one prize in mind, he was playing for keeps, and he fully intended on keeping her when she grew tired of playing games and decided that she was ready for more, ready to settle down.

Until she made that decision, consciously, he wasn't giving up.

Closing her front door gently behind him, his mind ran over the places he could take her to eat without breaking the one rule she had adamantly kept, the rule where no one they know would see them together.

As he opened the trucks passenger door for her, his mind settled on the perfect place to have dinner.

Something he hoped she would see as another small wordless action that held so many unspoken promises.

**Seems things are getting a little personal, hope you're enjoying the progress!**

**Thanks for reading, hope you'll review! **


	9. Italian Kisses and Ice

**Thanks to everyone for the amazing feedback, hope you enjoy this chapter too! **

**Chapter 9**

**Italian kisses & Ice**

Driving into the older side of town, Sam watched as Andy's face looked between him and the window, trying to figure out where he was taking her.

When he reached his destination, Sam pulled over and parked the truck before getting out and walking over to Andy who was waiting on the sidewalk, shifting nervously from foot to foot.

"Where are we going?" She asked as soon as Sam put a hand on her back and steered her towards a dimly lit shop window, hidden down a side street.

Pointing up, Sam showed her the sign that barely even lit up anymore.

"Mario's?".

"Trust me?". Sam held the door open for her, and allowed her to step into the dimly lit room.

That's all it was, a large room.

It had five tables, each seating four, covered in red and white checkered table cloth's, a soft glow flowing through the room from the small lanterns that lit up each table.

"Sammy?". A high pitched voice suddenly yelled out over the din of the two occupied tables in the far corner.

Andy looked up to find a woman well over her fifties barreling towards them, wearing the biggest of smiles.

"Maria". Sam greeted the woman as she wrapped him up in a giant hug.

Letting go of Sam, Maria turned to face Andy, before looking back at Sam, her eyebrows raised and her face still smiling.

"And this pretty one?". The woman's unmistakable Italian accent wrapped around her words as she eyed Andy warmly.

"This is Andy, she used to be my Rookie". Sam would swear that he was blushing when he spoke, his face mirroring Andy's flushed face.

"Ah". Maria said turning back to Andy, her smile seemingly knowing. Of course Sam knew it was knowing, she knew all about Andy after all.

"Come". Maria said taking Andy by the hand and leading her to an empty table in the corner closest to them.

Sitting them down Maria whisked herself away before returning with a bottle of red wine and filling their glasses, never taking her eyes off of Andy.

"Thank you". Sam said as Maria put the bottle down on the table and walked away again.

"How did you find this place?". Andy was lost, taking the sight of the tiny restaurant in with its smells of herbs, garlic and freshly baked bread.

"When I did my first UC I came in here and had dinner one day, been coming back since then".

Sam watched Andy look around, her face lit in the soft light of the lantern on their table. She really was caught up in the moment.

Turning to face Sam, Andy tried to block out Traci's words, but it was just so hard right now.

After Traci had heard her declare that she had a 'Thing' going when she turned Dov's offer to a double date down, she was subject to the Nash inquisition the next time Traci came over for a girls night.

"So, were you actually ever going to tell me?".

"It's not like that". Was all Andy had to argue with.

"Okay, so tell me what it's like then".

"It's really early, so we'll see how it goes".

"Seriously? You've got it so bad and you want to tell me it's still in the early stages? Andy I haven't seen you this happy since... Well in a long time".

Hearing Traci say that made her step back for a second and think.

Her words made sense, Andy's head spinning from the revelation that had been mentioned by an outsider, something that had been right there all along, something she always knew but venomously denied, even to herself.

"Someone I know?". Traci's words rang through, bringing panic with them.

"What? No". Andy blurted trying to keep the poker face she became accustomed to using UC, in place.

Traci seemed to have a sad smile at hearing her words, almost as though she was disappointed that Andy didn't name Sam.

"You okay?". Sam's voice suddenly drew through the hazy memory.

"Yup, totally fine". And mumbled reaching out for her wine glass.

Sam felt a sense of dread move between them, like she was suddenly uncomfortable, or regretting her decision to come here.

"We can leave any time you want to".

"What? No, really I'm good".

Her smile was genuine, telling him that she really was okay and that they were staying a while.

Andy's heart was hammering away in her chest, her mind suppressing her thoughts as soon as they surfaced.

Watching Sam, was so easy, being around him was just so normal. When she had asked him a while ago if they were making a mistake, she clung to the hope that he would say no they weren't and when he actually did, she didn't quite know how to handle it. She was in way over her head, but she didn't want out, she didn't want to let go.

She had a piece of him to hang on too, a piece of him that no one else had, and she knew that one day the end would come and that was something that scared her more than she'd ever been.

When they broke up, she was hurt and angry, and she still loved him. Now, she was even more hopelessly in love with him, so much so that when the inevitable came, her world would come crashing down around her when her heart broke.

When he asked if she wanted to go, he looked so edgy, so hesitant. But when she reassured him that she was okay, she saw the calm placid nature he had these days return as he flashed a dimpled smile her way.

Maria came back minutes later, brandishing two plates of pasta and set them down before sweeping off and returning with another two plates, one with pizza and one with bread neatly packed around salad.

Andy stifled a giggle as she eyed the plates of food. There was enough to feed an army, and yet they were served without even having to order, something that told her Sam really came here often enough that they knew his order.

Maria shuffled away, leaving them alone with their food.

"Wow". Andy breathed out, her eyes taking in all the divinely prepared food.

Sam watched her with a heavy heart, his strong facade wearing thin.

This was just perfect, the way he wanted things to be with them. But in the back of his mind he knew that someday it would come to an end. He kept seeing small glances of the doubt that she had flash itself, no matter how hard he tried to show her that he wanted more. He was just too scared to say it right out, in case his timing was way off.

They'd moved forwards but he still found himself hanging back.

Watching her was like his heroin, he just needed that everyday.

The only thought that seemed to pacify him right now, was that for the next few hours he could watch her as much as he wanted to, that for the next few hours she was his.

They ate between whispered words, and sipped on their wine, a more relaxed mood settling in on them.

When they were done, Maria took away their plates and returned with the remaining food in takeout containers, and handed them to Sam, patting the top container as she leaned in to whisper in his ear.

Sam's face lit up into a huge smile as his eyes avoided looking in Andy's direction.

A few minutes later, they said goodbye to Maria and left, Sam still wearing the most exasperated look as he opened the passenger door for Andy.

When he pulled away out of the parking, he couldn't help but glance at Andy who was wearing her curious face.

"She thought we were on a date". Sam said it as casually as he could, his eyes taking in her reaction carefully.

Her eyes widened and a tint spread over her cheeks as she looked down at the bag of food she clutched in her lap.

"Why would she think that?". Her voice was strong as she peered at him from under her lashes.

"You're the only person I've ever taken there". Sam looked away as he spoke, his unwillingness to see her feel backed into a corner.

"Seriously?".

"Yup".

"Not even Jerry or Oliver?".

"Nope".

That was the reason he took her there, shared one small part of his most private life with her. He wanted her to know that it was only her he wanted to do this with.

"She packed us desert". Sam added before he let his mind run too wild.

"Really?".

"Mm-mm, Italian Kisses". Sam knew that there was a teasing tone in his voice, but he just couldn't resist.

Andy let out a monstrous giggle, the irony not lost to her.

"Is that because we were out on a date?". Her words were light, although there was a hint of seriousness hanging behind them.

Sam glanced at Andy just as he pulled up at a red light. She was still watching him, her eyes tingling with a trace of fire.

"Yup". Sam said after throwing caution to the wind while they were lost in the moment. He expected Andy to grow serious, or show signs of serious vengeance because of the only rule they both seemed to have kept.

But she just smiled and dropped her head because she was blood red. Sam's insides quivered with a little more happiness than he should be feeling this soon.

"So, what's next?". Andy's voice was so soft, Sam barely heard it, but seeing her lips move made her words a reality.

"You know, seeing as we're on a date". Sam heard the humor in her voice, somehow she just managed to see the brightest part of any situation, even if it was playing at being on a fake date.

She really had no idea. If she wanted to be on a date, then she would experience just that. It was something they had never really done, gone on a date.

Taking a left, where a right would have taken them to his house, Sam hoped she was ready for this.

Her eyebrows lifted almost as if she was surprised that he had accepted her challenge, an amused smile gracing her lips.

Suddenly Sam felt like he wasn't playing a game anymore, it felt like she was giving him an in, a chance to show her what he wanted. Like she was giving him some rope, he just hoped that he didn't hang himself with it.

"We've got shift in the morning, you sure about this?". One last chance for her to back out, to change her mind.

When she nodded, Sam nodded in reply.

When he pulled into the parking lot, she was obviously surprised at his choice of destination.

"Um...I can't...".

Her eyes were shifting between the neon lights and Sam, a sudden panicked look clouding over her face.

"Seriously?". Sam was in total denial. Andy McNally couldn't ice skate.

Now that was something he didn't know.

"So, time to learn". Sam said opening his door.

But Andy stayed seated in the truck, shaking her head as he rounded the front and approached her door, holding his hands out in question.

Andy reluctantly got out the truck and followed Sam to the door before walk through it when he held it open.

Ten minutes later Sam had their skates from the checkin and watched her with fascination as she eyed the thin blades.

Sam showed her how to lace up her skates without leaving reams of laces hanging down before standing up and holding out his hand.

Andy in a fit of giggles let her hand reach out for his and stood up wearily, her legs feeling a lot like jello.

"See these? Toe picks, they're the breaks". Sam watched Andy's eyes widen at the thought of small metal ridges in her skates being her only form of stopping.

"Come on McNally, I won't let you fall". Sam led her towards the ice before letting go of her hand and stepping out on to the smooth surface. He held out as hand again and waited from her to take it, even though her eyes held trust, her hand seemed hesitant.

She stepped off the rubber mat and onto the ice, her legs shaky at the new found freedom of the frozen ice.

"Turn around". Sam helped her move to face away from him, his hands securely holding on to her waist, as he gently pushed her forwards.

"If you fall, tuck your arms in okay, no hands out. Just slide your feet along the ice".

Andy did as she was told, her movement becoming more fluid as they increased.

As much as he was relishing in holding on to her in a public place, he knew he'd have to let go, and after a few laps he eased his fingers away from around her waist and let her glide freely over the ice on her own.

Sam skated around her, facing her and moving backwards, his hand moving out to take hers as he began pulling her a little faster over the ice.

Andy was in her element, her cheeks a warm red as her giggle filled the air, catapulting him into seventh heaven.

She suddenly pulled on his hand as if willing him closer, so he complied and moved into her personal space, her free hand moving to rest on his forearm.

Getting lost in the intimacy of the moment, Andy stumbled, Sam's arms instinctively reaching out to tuck her in as he felt the ice slip out under his feet.

He met the ground, with Andy sprawled out on top of him, her face tucked in to his chest as she let out a hysterical laugh.

Lifting her head up, her cheeks were aflame with embarrassment, until she realized that Sam was so close she could just lean in and...

"Andy, we're in a public place". Sam said the second he saw the familiar flash in her eyes, but it didn't seem to stop her from kissing him right there sprawled out on the ice in the middle of the ice ring.

A few whistles called out through the air, making Andy blush like crazy and pull away, her head dropping down to hide behind a curtain of loose hair.

"Time to take me home Sam". Andy giggled out as she tried to stand up but just couldn't, so she rolled over and sat down on the ice next to Sam, who made quick work of getting to his feet and holding out his hand to pull her up.

Fifteen minutes later, they had traded their skates for their shoes and were headed for the door, Andy's hand quietly seeking out his as they walked towards the front door that would lead them out into the midnight air.

Oliver called Izzy and told her he was outside waiting. She had begged and pleaded to go out tonight even though it was a school night and he had finally relented when she came home with an A on an algebra test- her worst subject.

Her and four friend wanted to go ice-skating, and the ring was open until midnight on thursdays, so he had agreed, provided that he drops them of and picks them up, which now led to him being parked outside waiting at eleven-thirty seven.

Sam saw the couple come out the doors, the woman's head thrown back as she seemed to loose herself in laughter at something the guy said.

He watched them walk out into the parking lot, maneuvering between the few scattered cars as their hands clung together, something he could see even in the dark.

As they got closer, Oliver noticed that the couple moved to stand next to a truck, that looked just like Sam's.

Shaking his head, he let out a chuckle as he watched Sam open the door for Andy, who didn't seem to want to get in.

Andy turned to face Sam, said something and Sam stepped away, his hands held out in surrender as Oliver watched him shake his head.

The street lights lit up the area enough that he could see Andy pout, before she closed the door and leaned against it, fully intent on stopping them from going anywhere.

He looked on in bemused silence as Sam put his hand on the truck and leaned closer to Andy, delivering some kind of speech before she suddenly lunged at him and wrapped her arms around his neck and grabbed him in a lip lock.

Oliver was stunned.

He was literally watching Sam make out with McNally in a parking lot and there was nothing he would do to ever mention the moment. It made sense the more he thought about it, McNally had a thing with someone and Sam wasn't to broken up about it, because he was her thing.

Oliver smiled at the sight, the two of them so wrapped up in each other, that the rest of the world just faded away.

Just the way it belonged.

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	10. Love You Crazy

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**Chapter 10**

**Love You Crazy**

When Andy took his hand as they walked towards the exit, Sam felt like he was set on fire as her ice cold hand sought out his.

Her calling this a date had been a good feeling, but her acting like it was a date was even better.

As they stepped out into the cool midnight air, Andy moved closer seeking heat from his as her wet clothes chilled her.

When they got to the truck, Sam opened the door for Andy, who seemed like she found it offending that he was suddenly opening the door for her again. She closed the door again, her lips pouting as she dared Sam to overstep the boundary of her opening her own door.

Sam leaned forwards, his hand resting against the cold metal of the truck as he told Andy to get in the truck or she would be walking home. As a joke of course.

Her retaliation was to drag him closer, her arms wrapping around his neck as her lips sought out his, a tingle of passion igniting his face as her flesh fused to his.

Instinctively, he pulled her closer even though his brain was arguing that this is not how this night was supposed to end.

When she called it a date, he made the decision to refrain from touching her. Even though his body craved the feeling of hers, he did not want to end the night by taking a step backwards when they seemed to be moving forwards. Even though he was taking her home, it did not mean that there would be more than a goodnight kiss.

She let out a tiny groan as Sam pulled away, his lips still burning from the heat of hers although they had now separated.

He opened the door again, this time her protests merely in the form of rolling her eyes before she got in.

When they got back to his house, Sam grabbed the takeout and her bag before opening the door for her and waiting for her to step inside before following.

He left the food on the kitchen counter and walked behind Andy as she moved straight towards his bedroom.

Stopping outside the door, Sam took Andy by the hand and spun her around, before leaning in and devouring her lips with his own. When he pulled away breathlessly, he rubbed his nose over hers before handing her, her bag and leaving her standing outside his bedroom door.

That's what you did on a date, you gave the girl a kiss goodnight outside her door and left, like a gentleman.

Sam heard her bag drop to the floor and spun around to find her arms crossed over her chest, an unhappy mask taking up residence over her face.

He was about to pull the trick of her actually sleeping in his bed when she raised her hand and held it out to silence him before his words spilled out.

"Save it". She mumbled before slipping inside his room, her bag dragging across the floor.

Sam put the food in the fridge before wiping off an already clean counter and looking for something else to busy himself with. Anything to stay out here long enough to let her fall asleep.

Half an hour later he gave up and tip toed into the bedroom.

Stripping himself of unnecessary clothing he slid into bed beside Andy who was facing away from him as he slid in between the sheets.

Laying on his back, he contemplated the rough ending to the perfect night, but still in the back of his mind, he knew he made the right decision.

Sometime during the night Andy snuggled closer, her hand seeking out his chest as her head slid up and rested alongside it. Where he wanted it to stay. Her movement woke him, her touch sending tiny jolts of lightning through his body as she tangled her legs with his and sighed in contentment.

"Andy?". His voice barely registered to his own ears, although her soft "mmmm" signaled some level of awareness from her.

"You know I love you crazy right?".

"I know" her voice was sweet, and foggy with slumber, her words carried out on a sigh.

She didn't move, or say another word, or show any other signs of hearing what he said. She remained still, sprawled out across his chest, her breathing slow and steady. A sign she was still asleep.

The next morning, Sam was up first coffee brewing and a hot shower done by the time he woke Andy up.

When she had finished her coffee and grabbed a shower she asked for a ride home, Sam's hopes of her walking into the barn with him dashed.

But she showed no signs of remembering what he said in the middle of the night. Maybe she didn't want too, he just wasn't sure yet.

Oliver saw Andy blaze in through the door, almost running late, a yawn escaping her just as she passed him.

"Hot date last night there McNally?". Oliver just couldn't resist, even though he knew he shouldn't. They probably needed the peace and quiet they had with their new found endeavors, but he just had to gouge her reaction.

"Me? I don't date anymore Oliver, and I was home alone". Andy giggled out before turning the corner towards the woman's locker room.

Oliver stopped and thought over her words. Sammy and McNally obviously wanted to keep their 'Thing' a secret, at least for now.

Turning his attention back to his mission down the hallway, Oliver noticed Sam standing a way behind him as his eyes shifted up and down. He hadn't noticed Sam standing there, otherwise he wouldn't have said anything to McNally, and guessing from Sam's expression, he hadn't like what he heard McNally say.

Sam's face looked hollow, like he was disappointed, or hurt?

Oliver took a second to take the splurge of emotions running over Sam's face in, many never being seen so openly before.

In the blink of an eye, Sam was gone, his stance clearly humbled as he walked away.

Shift passed quietly for Andy, her day speeding past as she let vacant moments fill with her dreams.

Last night had been one of the most memorable that she'd ever have of her and Sam, one of the most fun too.

Her dreams were filled of moments from their date as she slept next to Sam, soft words that she longed to hear whispered from his lips to her ears.

Yup, she had another one of those dreams, the ones where Sam says 'I love you'. Since he had actually said it, she had many of those dreams, where he would utter the words.

Just as her shift was about to end, she wondered if Sam was willing to take some time out with her, him being an abstract of her imagination for most of the day.

She sent him a text asking if he wanted to come over as she drove back to the barn.

An hour later, she still hadn't had a reply from him, so she slipped her phone into her pocket, grabbed her bag and headed home.

Close to ten pm, she gave up hope of hearing from him when her phone beeped, a new text from Traci.

Traci was distraught, she had almost been shot by a kid, but Sam put a bullet in him before he pulled the trigger aiming at her.

Andy contemplated calling Traci but her last words of 'Talk Tomorrow' signaled that she didn't want to be bugged.

Andy stared at her phone, the date and time nagging at the back of her brain.

Then it hit her, she'd been back a little under six months, and today was one date that she would rather forget, it was Jerry's first anniversary.

Her mind immediately jumped to Sam as she scrolled to his number and sent a text asking if he was okay.

By eleven pm, she still hadn't heard from him, and began to feel a little uneasy about it. Maybe he was remembering why he hated her so much back then.

She called him and left a voicemail, practically begging him to come over or call her, or just send a simple text letting her know that he was okay.

It was a little after one am when sudden pounding on her door woke her up, she had fallen asleep on the couch while waiting to hear from Sam.

Sam listened to her voicemail, her voice desperate as she asked him to give her a sign that he was okay.

He had been to hell and back today, memories of Jerry tugging his heart strings while he spent the day watching Traci cope, even if it was just barely.

He shot a kid too, he was only fourteen and running with a gang when he should have been in school, Sam snuffing out his lifelight before he snuffed out Nash's.

He headed straight to the Penny when he dropped Nash back at the barn and had way too many whiskeys and tequila's to keep count, and right now, he only needed one thing.

He knew he shouldn't be driving, but he didn't care, he was past that stage of the game today.

He slammed his fist against her wooden door, and waited. It didn't take long for her to answer, the sleep awash over her face as she opened the door and clearly let out a jagged breath at seeing that he was still on one piece.

Without thinking, he closed the space between them, his lips claiming hers forcefully as he pulled her towards him.

She didn't protest, she enveloped him in her arms as a willing participant. He let out a growl, his hands sliding down her body until they found the end of her rear end, where he held on and hoisted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as her hair tumbled down around them, blocking out the rest of the world.

Sam walked her further into her condo and blindly reached out for the door in an attempt to close it.

Andy moaned as he pulled away slightly in order to accomplish his mission of keeping them behind closed doors.

Sam walked them through to her bedroom, his intentions not hidden as he set her down on the bed and slid over her, his hand fumbling to find the hem of her shirt before he managed to take it off without taring it.

He pulled away from Andy, his hands relieving himself of his own shirt, followed by his jeans while Andy watched him.

When Sam slid back on to the bed, his lips went in search of Andy, devouring them heatedly and with force. His hands moved over her skin harshly, her breath hitching when he obviously touched her a little too roughly.

Sam froze in that instant, his head dropping down to rest on her shoulder as shame washed over him. He extracted himself from Andy and her bed, a string of curses flowing freely from his lips.

Andy could taste the whiskey on his breath and knew that he was way over his usual limit from the bloodshot eyes that peered at her, his touch had been hungry and his hands more forceful than usual until there was nothing.

"I'm sorry I...". Sam was reaching for his discarded clothes, as he turned away from Andy, too scared to face her anymore.

Andy climbed off the bed silently and walked over to Sam, her arms wrapping around his waist as she leaned into him and let her cheek rest between his shoulder blades.

It was the only time he had ever been rough with her, his need to loose himself so irrevocably present.

Sam stilled, his hands reaching up to hers and prying them away from his flesh where they had interlocked.

"Don't...". His voice was soft, but it sounded so broken, a flood of raw emotions embedded in it.

"No Sam...". Just as Andy began to talk, Sam spun around and pushed her away, his face still dipping low as he stepped back and clung to his shirt.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean...". His words were silenced when Andy stepped forwards and grabbed his shirt and flung it across the room.

That made Sam's head jolt up, his face vacant and void as he watched her fold her arms across her naked upperbody as she stepped forwards.

She stopped when they stood toe to toe, one of her arms freeing itself to seek out his hand while the other reached out and moved to rest against his chest.

It was the first time that Sam had come to her and initiated such an intimate act, and the fact that he did so after swearing off sex for as long as possible, and that he was so aggressive and rough with her just sickened him.

His cheek leaned into her palm as it sprayed out and lingered there, his eyes closing as he drew in a ragged breath. Andy's hand took hold of his and held on to it, her warm fingers having an unusually strong grip around his.

Suddenly he felt her nose rub against his before her lips peppered feather light kisses across his face before they settled on his lips.

She leaned into him, as she let her body take over, a low growl escaping his lips as she moaned when his hand found her hip and dug into the flesh there.

Pulling away, Sam opened his eyes to find her dark ones watching him, flames of desire burning deep within them.

"I can't do this". Sam whispered out as he tried to pull away, but her hands keeping a firm hold on him.

"I don't want to hurt you". He added.

He was truly fearful that he wouldn't be able to keep himself under control, and that he could really hurt her, even though it would be unintentional.

"You won't". Andy's voice was so trusting, so sure of her words. Like she really believed them.

She watched him intently as she closed the space between them again, her lips seeking his out again as he let her slip her tongue into the warmth of his mouth.

Giving in, he lifted her up again, and carried her over to the bed, this time setting her down a lot gentler than he had the first time.

She pulled him closer, her lips claiming his while her hands roamed the bare skin of his back as he settled over her.

But he was still hesitant, his movements withheld.

Andy sensed his hesitation, so she pushed on his shoulder and let him pull back before she flipped them over and straddled him.

Her hands went in search of his and tangled their fingers together as their skin met, her face leaning closer as she found the skin of his neck.

With slow, soft kisses, she nibbled and tugged at the skin of his neck, her lips making their way down to his chest.

Sam let out a strangled groan as she moved down, her hot breath causing a flash of warmth across his skin that set fire to every nerve ending that he possessed.

She was setting the pace, showing him that he had himself under control, and that he wouldn't hurt her.

When he felt confident enough, he flipped them back over, their hands parting as he moved his to cup her face. She had the smile that melted him on her lips as he nudged his nose against hers, her hands tugging at his shoulders as she told him she wanted more.

Her hands left his back and slid down to his boxers, her fingers sliding under the waistband and tugged.

In little time at all, Sam had shrugged of his boxers and tugged off her pajama pants, and slid back on to the bed, next to Andy, giving her the option to back away.

But she didn't, she tugged his hand and pulled him closer, his body covering hers as she let out a moan.

Sam watched her sleep, her face relaxed and content as her head rested on her pillow.

His exaggerated thoughts of hurting her had dissipated when she had shown him that he could touch her without hurting her.

But tonight, it was different, it was like Andy had taken charge and made love to him like she was giving herself to him on a whole different level. Her words from this morning came crashing back, his hopes that she would break that rule diminishing with her answer.

Sam's sobriety had returned long ago, but his mind still turned ideas over that he had only ever faced while he was pretty loaded.

Now in the dark of her room, he let his mind freely wonder, while his eyes roamed over her face.

Andy's hand reached out in search of Sam, expecting to find empty sheets, her hand found his arm wrapped around her instead.

She had really expected him to leave, but he had stayed, and from his breathing he was still sound sleep, her body held firmly against his as if he never wanted to let her go.

Satisfied with the moment, she allowed her dreams to return, a smile on her face even though she knew they were only dreams.

Days turned to weeks as their routine savored its integrity and remained intact although it was occasionally strained.

Off shifts were spent mostly together, movie nights or hockey games taking up a portion of their lives.

After that night, Sam never made another attempt at bedding Andy, his selfish pride and shame from that night stopping him.

But spending time with her fueled his reason to exist as sunrise turned to sunset, their lives wrapped around each others.

It was five weeks later, that their worlds would come crashing down, Andy's decision to jump head first into a situation the undoing of their bonded ties.

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	11. No Way Back

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**Here's more...**

**Chapter 11**

**No Way Back**

The call came in close to the end of shift, Sam's heart faltering as Noelle called him over and told him to go take statements from Oliver and Andy at the hospital and to bring back her vest as evidence.

He could feel the color drain from his face as he left the barn, his destination- the ER at the hospital.

Noelle told him that Andy had taken two bullets to the vest and that Oliver took one to the arm, but that they were okay because Andy jumped the guy pointing a gun to Oliver's head.

When he arrived in the ER, he asked for Andy first, his heart needing his brain to confirm that she was still breathing before it would start beating again.

He was pointed in the direction of a closed curtain and told to wait until the doctor was done with her, but paid no attention to the nurse as he pulled the curtain back enough to get a glimpse of Andy's chest and collarbone marred with black bruising.

He hissed in a breath as she looked up to find him staring at her, rage crossing his face as he did so.

The doctor excused himself shortly thereafter, Sam standing frozen to the spot as he eyed the marks that tainted the skin where the edge of her vest would be.

"Hi". She mumbled as she tried to pull her shirt back on, an attempt to hide the marks that made her feel exposed.

But Sam didn't say a word, instead he walked in behind the curtain, drawing it closed behind himself. He reached for her vest, lifting it up for closer inspection, his knuckles turning white from the grip his fingers extended over the material.

He let out a low whistle at the sight of the bullets, one lay nestled over where her heart would be, the other barely still in the vest as it sat close to the edge where her collarbone was.

Sam's face reddened as he took in the sight, his eyes dancing in fire as he suddenly cast them to face her.

Reading his expression, Andy let out a groan before mumbling out "I didn't have a choice" as she tried to tug her shirt over her head and hide the wince from the movement.

"So you made the choice to be stupid and reckless? How is that even supposed to work?" Sam's tone was cold and harsh as his temper flared, he was so mad at her right now that he was having severe trouble thinking straight.

"He had his gun pointed at Oliver's head, what was I supposed to do?" Andy countered, her tone cold and flat like she was remembering the images as she spoke.

"So you were about to trade your life for Oliver's?"

"It wasn't like that" Her tone shifted to sounding a little lost and broken.

"Then tell me what it was like because I don't get it. I don't get how you would be stupid enough to physically throw yourself at a guy holding a loaded gun" Sam lifted her vest between them, shaking it around as he sputtered more words out.

"This one nearly went through the vest Andy, it's sticking out on the other side. If it moved through the material it would have been a kill shot, straight to the heart, do you understand that?"

He stared at her, his face morphing to angrier and enraged as he spoke.

"This one nearly missed the vest completely, that would have hit you in the neck and possibly ruptured your jugular vein, another kill shot, and all you can say is that you had no other choice?" He was shouting now, no regards to the fact that they were still standing in the ER.

"I know Sam, I was there" her eyes were misting over with unshed tears as she glared at him.

She had made the decision to tackle the guy with the gun irrationally, but she didn't regret it, she wasn't about to watch Sam loose another friend or a family their father and husband.

"What? Andy it was stupid, and you came this close to getting yourself killed. This isn't a game, this is your life we're talking about".

"Will you stop. I get it okay, but I'm quite sure that at least he appreciates the fact that I did it" Andy was yelling back, as she finally got her shirt tugged down and covered herself.

"Are we done?" she added harshly staring at him.

"Yeah we're done. In fact we…" Sam's hand moved between them ".. are done".

Sam was done. Finished. He was tired of watching her put herself so close to the edge that one day she wouldn't be coming back. He was unable to keep himself in check when it came to her, and falling more in love with her everyday wasn't helping.

So he quit.

Again.

Right then and there, watching her suffer in pained silence as she tried to simply pull on a shirt was enough to make him want to strangle her himself.

He had been living with the daily worry that her life hung in the balance because she chose to do this job for the last four years, and the fact that he was so close to her, that they were a - whatever they were, and the fact that she was finally back within his reach, watching her be reckless just wasn't an option.

She blinked rapidly and her eyes moistened even more as his words sunk in.

But she refused to crumble in front of him, faking her strong facade as best she could.

"Okay, then you can leave now". She whispered, her voice not really having any of the life it had in it had moments ago.

Sam nodded and stepped out behind the curtain, leaving her standing there as he retreated down the hallway.

Oliver was coming towards him, his arm bandaged just above the elbow.

"Sammy, you didn't need to be so tough on her, I heard you down the hall". Oliver's face was stern, his emotions keeping themselves in check.

"Don't give me that crap Oli, she thinks this is a game...".

Andy's vest was still swinging next to his leg, his knuckles still white as they clutched the material tightly.

"You weren't there, she did the only thing she could have done, and if she didn't I wouldn't be here...".

"Daddy!". A voice screeched behind them, Izzy running up to them and nearly knocking Oliver over as she knocked into him.

Her sobs carried through the air, Sam's heart breaking at the sight of the child that suddenly realized how close she had been to losing her father. Something that had never happened before.

Oliver always managed to escape unscathed, until today, and by the looks of things even he thought Andy made the right choice. He obviously had nothing more than a flesh wound, probably better than a bullet to the brain.

Sam walked off leaving them in the hall, his brain too scrambled to make sense of anything.

He called Nash and asked her to stop by and take their statements and told her that he would bring her the vest in the morning, he really wasn't in the mood for any company, so he drove straight home and grabbed a bottle of whiskey.

Andy took most the week off, unable to practically move from the injuries of taking two really close range bullets to the vest.

At first she thought that Sam was just mad at her for attracting trouble, but as the days passed and he stayed absent from her life she realized that he was shutting her out again. That he really was totally pissed off because she had been reckless.

But she wasn't about to repeat history and call him to have him ignore her again, so she left him alone, and let her heart tear apart as she accepted the fact that whatever they were to each other, was over.

She went back to work early because Frank asked her to come in Gail, Nick, Jones and Tores were out sick with a stomach bug.

She would be on desk duty but at least she was back.

Sam was missing from parade, but she tried to hide her disappointment.

The next day was the same, only she really didn't feel all that great as she stepped inside the barn.

Noelle saw her come in and smiled a sad smile at her as she passed her coming in to the locker room, when she came out. When McNally didn't arrive on time for the start of parade, Noelle worried but left it for a while expecting her to come breezing in at any moment. But when she didn't, Noelle left parade and went in search of her.

She found Andy huddled on the locker room floor, leaning against her locker, her head resting on her knees.

"You okay?". Noelle said as Andy looked up at her boots before putting her head back down on her knees.

"I don't feel to good". Andy whispered.

"What's wrong?".

"I want to throw up, but it just doesn't happen". Andy said staggering to her feet when Noelle held out her hand to help her up.

Noelle walked her over to the bench and let her sit down, Andy's pale face staring at her.

"I'll go tell Frank at get someone to take you home".

An hour later Noelle was back at the barn having decided to take Andy home herself.

She found Oliver on desk alone as they were short staffed and needed someone there.

"Do you know who McNally's dating?". She asked when she was close enough for Oliver to hear.

"Nope, no idea". Oliver hoped his poker face was holding. "Why?".

"I think she's pregnant". Noelle was waring a gigantic smile as she said the words, finding the situation oddly pleasing.

"What" Oliver yelled drawing the attention of everyone in the nearby vicinity.

"Think about it, she's queasy, like enough to go home. But she's been off so she hasn't been around anyone that has the stomach virus". Noelle still wore her smile, her detective skills making her proud of herself.

"Can you stay here? I've gotta be somewhere". Oliver said walking away.

Oliver found Sam at his desk, his eyes staring blankly at a piece of paper.

"Sammy, brother"

They hadn't really spoken since Oliver was shot, but he somehow knew that they might have a splinter in their relationship, but they were still friends.

"Olie". Sam said looking up and smiling faintly.

Andy thought over Noelle's words carefully. She had dropped the subtle hint that she didn't think Andy had the stomach virus because she hadn't been around anyone that had it.

The words stormed fear into her very soul as she considered the other possibility.

Grabbing her keys she left home and went in search of an escape.

"So I was wondering, do you know anything about the guy McNally's seeing?". Oliver blurted out after they made the ten minute chit chat that he really had no interest in.

He saw Sam tense as his words drew out before his eyes covered up in a hardened stare.

"Nope, none of my business". Sam growled out.

"Okay, if you're sure you don't know anything...". Oliver moved to leave, Sam's words reaching him just before he stepped through the doorway.

"Why would I?".

"No reason, just thought you'd know what kind of guy he is because I think McNally's in a situation".

"A situation? She's always in a situation". Sam's tone held the key note of worry that told Oliver he wanted to know, but just didn't know how to ask.

"It's different this time, I think she's...".

Oliver really didn't know how this was going to go, but Sam needed to know.

"She's?". Sam's eyebrows shot up as he visibly waited with baited breath for Oliver's answer.

"I think she might be pregnant". Oliver finally managed to say the words, Sam's face staying void of all emotion as he stared vacantly at Oliver.

"Sammy, I said...".

"I heard what you said". Sam cut Oliver's words off as he got to his feet and walked straight past Oliver.

He tried calling her but her phone was off, it went to voicemail each time. So he called Nash who hadn't seen her at all. Neither had anyone else he called.

Fear began to unleash itself within him as he thought over the worst thoughts. Not that he could really see her doing that, but still her situation, and his stupidness could force her to do something rash.

He spent the day looking for her and calling every place he thought she would be, coming up empty each time.

So he went to the only place left that he hadn't looked, Tommy McNally's.

Sunset was lingering as he knocked on the door and waited for Tommy to open.

When the door did, Tommy crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Sam before uttering out a rough "She's not here".

That made Sam really panic, if she wasn't here and was nowhere else, then where the hell was she.

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	12. Unanswered Questions

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**Chapter 12**

**Unanswered Questions. **

Tommy was giving Sam a glare by now as he still stood on his front steps.

His face hard and stern as his eyes bore into Sam.

"I need to find her". Sam managed to get the words out without sounding like he was about to totally lose it.

"She's not here, she's gone, so let it go Sammy. I don't know what you did, but this time it's really bad, enough to scare her". Tommy still didn't move to let Sam in, or give him any indication of where Andy had gone.

"I need to find her, I can't let her go like this". Sam said finally giving in to the torrent of emotions he felt rip through him.

"She doesn't want to be found Sam, and she asked me not to tell you where she went, so I won't, so you need to give her the space she wants".

Sam started shaking his head violently, his hands jamming themselves into his pockets as he shifted around nervously.

Should he tell Tommy why he needed to find her, or find a viable excuse to swing?

"Please Tommy, this is really important. I've screwed this up so many times already, but this time I can't let it go... can't let her go".

Tommy's eyes widened at Sam's words, the pain emanating from his voice so evident that even someone who hardly knew him heard it.

"Sam she doesn't want to see you, she left to get away from you, and I have no idea what you did, but this time it broke her, so give it...".

"I think she's pregnant". Sam cut Tommy off, his words silencing the man who visibly paled at what he heard.

"Yours?". Tommy said under his breath, but Sam still heard him.

"I think so, but it doesn't matter".

"What's that supposed to mean? It doesn't matter?".

"Look I think it's mine, but if it's not, I don't care. I was stupid enough to let her go the first time and then I screwed it up again when she let me in. I need to find her. If she is pregnant and it's not mine, I really don't care I...".

"You're scared Sam".

Sam nodded, he didn't need to hide it when it was so evident.

Tommy moved from the doorway letting Sam in as he walked into his house and looked around nervously.

"You don't think she'd..."

"I don't know. I don't think so, but with things the way they are...".

"But you love her?".

Tommy's question caught Sam off guard, but he answered by nodding anyway. He really did, there was no denying it anymore, no hiding it.

He just had to find her and tell her and hope she wouldn't think it was because he thought that she was pregnant that he was saying it.

"And you want her to come home?". Sam nodded again, Tommy's words making a feint smile play across his lips.

"And if she's not?".

"I don't care. It would be great if she is, if not, then she needs to know that I want this, that I'm done walking away and hiding from the truth".

Tommy's lips ghosted a smile as he walked into the kitchen, coming back he handed Sam a scribbled piece of paper.

"She's gone to my cousin Millie, she has a guest house on Lake Ontario. She hasn't seen her since she was sixteen so when she asked me to call and ask if she could go down I knew that something was really wrong".

Sam felt relief sweep over him, Tommy telling him where she had fled to, but still the fear didn't really subside.

"If she is, she wouldn't do that you know. She loves you too much".

Sam's head whipped up from reading the address to see Tommy wearing a genuine smile as his gaze softened.

Sam nodded and turned to leave, Tommy calling out that he'd call ahead and let Millie know he was coming because he would arrive really late, seeing the determination on Sam's face, he had obviously figured out that Sam would be making the drive immediately.

Sam stopped at home and packed a bag, before calling Frank and citing a family emergency to account for his absence today and over the next few to come.

Frank's reply had been a simple question, "McNally?" To which Sam had said "mm-mm", knowing that between Noelle and his calling all over Toronto, word was out that Andy had skipped town.

Throwing his bag on the back seat, Sam set off to fill up with gas before hitting the road.

He arrived dead tired, but hoped that it would be worth it.

He was greeted by Millie's warm smile as she opened the door figuring out that it was Tommy's friend as Sam drove around the back and parked where Tommy had told him too.

Sam stepped into the guest house and was immediately wrapped up in its warmth.

When Tommy called to make sure that he was okay and tell him where to park, he also explained that the guest house was separate from Millie's house, his way of telling him that he probably wouldn't see Andy when he got there.

Millie led him through the house, pointing out the kitchen and explaining the layout of the house as she walked through to what looked like a front desk.

She slid the guest register over to Sam who signed in and handed over his credit card asking her to hold it until he was ready to leave.

She handed him a key and pointed out his room, before telling him that there was chicken casserole and coffee waiting in the kitchen for him.

Sam thanked her, a genuine smile gracing his lips as he spoke.

Millie's face lit up, her words tumbling out, "It's you".

Sam didn't quite get what she meant, his face holding a little confusion to which she gave her reply.

"You're Sam. Your dimples give you away". Sam watched her blush, a subtle hint at where Andt got it from.

Sam nodded, not really knowing what Andy had said about him or why she was here.

"So you've come to take her home?". Millie's face turned serious, her fading smile telling Sam that she probably knew everything.

"I'm going to try". Sam said looking at the ground like an ashamed child hanging their head. He really did have a lot to be ashamed of.

"Is she okay?". Sam's head came back up as he asked, but he really needed to know.

"She will be". Millie said, her smile returning as she left Sam alone.

Her words did little to console Sam. Her indirectly answered statement told Sam that Andy was everything but okay.

He had the coffee and grabbed a shower before wolfing down the chicken casserole. He was starving and didn't even realize it until he actually ate.

He washed the dishes and went to his assigned room, the view from the window taking his breath away as he looked out at the moon dancing over the rippling water.

He was the only one booked in, so he had the whole guest house to himself, something he found oddly appropriate.

He spent hours staring out the window until the sun finally began to make its presence know on the horizon.

He heard movement downstairs and descended the staircase to find Millie brandishing a warm plate of breakfast.

She set it down and smiled in Sam's direction, before telling him that Andy liked to have her coffee on the back deck of her house next door around nine, and that he'd find the kitchen door open before she excused herself and left Sam to his own device.

Sam looked at the wall clock to see that it was ten to six, leaving him roughly three hours to wait until he would see Andy.

He brewed coffee and pecked at the breakfast while his mind raced away with the possibility that she might refuse to see him or talk to him.

Staying seated at the kitchen table his mind ran rampant as he tried to formulate a plan. Something to say.

But he came up empty as his nerves and fears suddenly became a harsh reality.

Leaning back to glance at the clock, he saw that it was now only six-twenty, time moving so slowly that it felt like it wasn't moving at all. Cleaning up the dishes, he found himself in the lounge watching the sunlight reflect over the water, the greens and browns of the trees coming to life.

This was where Andy had come camping with her dad obviously, her fond memories so accurately described that he recognized her descriptions.

With time to kill, Sam leaned back on the couch and waited in agony for nine am to come so that he could put up the biggest fight of his life.

**Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think in another super review!**


	13. Perfect Stranger

**Wow, you guys know how to share so love, thanks!**

**Chapter 13**

**Perfect Stranger. **

Sam walked through the kitchen and saw the sun filtering in through the windows that ran along the wall, the deck visible from where he stood, Andy's back facing him.

She had on an oversized jersey, her hands hidden from view, probably holding on to her coffee mug.

He opened the glass door that separated him from Andy and stepped out into the warm sunlight just as she turned to face him.

Her hands faltered and the coffee cup she was holding crashed to the floor as she let out the most painstaking combination between a sob and a gasp as her eyes met his.

"You". She stammered out, her voice shaking.

"Why are you here?". She added not waiting for him to say any form of hello.

But Sam was struck speechless as he took the sight of her in.

Her eyes were red and puffy and she looked incredibly tired.

"I think that's obvious. Were you even going to tell me?". Sam's voice held a sharp edge to it, even though he tried to keep it under control.

"So you know". She stated the fact rather than asked it as a question.

"Don't worry Sam, if I am, I'll handle my mistake". Her voice sounded lifeless as she spat the words out, Sam's heart being sliced open by the coldness wrapped around the words.

"Andy, is that how you see the possibility? A mistake?". Sam's heart shattered at having to repeat the words she so carelessly tossed at him.

"Don't worry about it, I won't hold you responsible or liable for anything, now or in the future". Andy added as she bent down to pick up the shattered coffee cup.

Sam's mouth hung open as he gaped at her, all signs of Andy McNally having seeped away to be replaced with someone heartless and cold, a perfect stranger.

"Andy...".

Andy stood up and put the shards of glass down on the table next to her before wrapping her arms around her waist and biting words of her own out to cut Sam off.

"Don't okay, I get it. I don't expect anything from you, no child support payments, no visitation requests. If I am so you're exonerated. You can go now".

"No". Sam snapped back, Andy's eyes widening at the harshness of the single word as it rang out into the air.

"What about me? Did you even stop to think about more than just yourself? Don't I get a say in this?". Sam's temper was raging even though he was really trying to keep it under check.

His words seemed to have hit a nerve with Andy, her sudden defensive mode swapping to one slightly less aggressive as her eyes covered up the sadness that suddenly seemed to flow through them.

"I did, and you know what, the answer is always the same. You didn't ask to be saddled with this, you didn't ask to have to deal with my lack in judgment and my mistakes, so yes I've thought about more than myself, so you can really just leave now". Andy hurled words back at him as she attempted to step around him and make another run for it.

His hand stopped her, wrapping its warm around her arm, the warmth felt through the material of her jersey.

"And if I want to be saddled with it?". It was the only thing he could think of saying to get her attention, so he just went with it.

She tugged her arm free and stepped back to look at him, a soft "What?" slipping from her lips.

"What if I said I want to be saddled with it? What if this is what I want? Isn't it my choice to make?". Sam had the overwhelming urge to reach out and touch her, but kept his hands close to his sides as he waited for his words to sink in.

"I...". She didn't know how to react so she just left it hanging in the air between them.

"You don't have to do this, I'm...I'm not sure yet". Andy's voice was rattling as she spoke, light trembles moving through her body as Sam's words really hit a nerve.

"I'm not. Look you don't get it, and I don't know how to say it, because I'm not really good at this kind of thing".

Sam saw her looking between him and the door, her need to run evident as she weighed up her options.

So that's what he came up with to stop her from bolting. Really smooth!

"What's to get?". Andy made an attempt to step towards the door, Sam's voice so pleading it stopped her before she really moved.

"Andy, please don't do this".

She looked up at him to find the most heart wrenching look on his face, his eyes reveling his broken soul through their windows.

"I'm not doing this because you might be pregnant". He said clearly so that she would be winded and freeze up long enough to stay and hear him out.

"Then why are you here? Why are you doing this?". She was barely holding it together, her strong mask slipping as he wore her down.

"Because without you, there isn't a me".

Andy gasped a little at his words, so honest and free that even he surprised himself.

"I...I love you, and right now I need you to know that...".

"Stop". Andy raised her hand up to stop Sam from saying anymore, she had heard enough.

"You love the idea of me Sam, and right now you're feeling obligated to do the right thing, but this is not it".

It was Sam's turn to audibly gasp in air as her words sliced through him, his insides turning cold as he watched her mask return to the emotionless one he had seen her wear at the hospital.

"That's what you think? When you came up with your little sex-capades, did it ever feel like it was just sex? Did it ever feel like it was meaningless sex, or that I was mindlessly fucking you?".

Andy visibly recoiled at his words. He was one to seldom use that kind of language, much less to a woman.

Sam jammed his eyes closed as his hand snaked up and his fingertips pinched the bridge of his nose. A muffled "I'm so sorry" breaking free of his lips in the stiff silence between them.

"If I am... It's not yours". Andy mumbled before walking away and leaving Sam stunned in shock staring after her.

She stormed off into the house, Sam following without hesitation.

She raced up the stairs and slammed a door at the top, Sam trying every one until he found the one she locked.

"Andy please open the door". He pleaded through the wood.

Silence lingered on the other side.

If she was pregnant and the baby really wasn't his, he didn't care. As long as she wasn't married to the guy, or still involved with him, he wasn't giving up.

"I don't believe you". He said, leaning against the doorframe.

"Go away". Finally drew out from behind the door.

"Not until you listen. I've made mistakes, and I've screwed up and I'm sorry. I've hurt you, and I'm sorry. The only reason I went along with your x-rated idea was to get you to remember. Remember what it used to be like, what it felt like and... How I feel. It hasn't changed Andy, it's even more intense than it was the first time around. I... Was so scared when I heard that you were shot, I didn't react very well, because I didn't know how to handle it. The only thought I had was what if she dies and I didn't tell her that I love her. When I saw you, I nearly lost my mind, you came so close to getting killed and I wasn't there. I'm sorry I walked away again, but I couldn't cope if something happened to you. I'm not here because it's the right thing to do, and I don't care if the baby's not mine, I want you, and the baby, and I'm not giving up until I get you. If it takes me standing here forever, or stalking you, I don't care. I love you and you need to know that it's because you're you and you complete me".

Sam heard the lock of the door slide as she turned the key, the door cracking open just a little to reveal Andy's sad eye.

"You don't care if the baby's not yours? There were two rules we never broke Sam, the exclusivity rule and the public knowledge rule. You didn't... And I didn't".

Sam was a little confused here. If she didn't break the rule, then the baby would be his.

At the most inconvenient time, a smile cracked over his lips at knowing that.

"I...I lied". Andy added, looking shameful.

"Why?".

Andy stepped away from the door and let him in.

He followed on autopilot, his mind still wrapping itself around everything that had been said and done.

"I'm scared. For the first time in my life, I don't know what to do, I don't know how to feel and I don't know how to do something. I didn't plan on this happening and I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want you to think I did it on purpose, to get to you". Andy was looking at his feet as she spoke, her voice cracking with the tears he heard in it.

Stepping over to her, he put his hand under her chin and lifted her face, his thumb swiping away at the tears that broke free.

"I would never think that. I've been waiting for this moment for seven months since you've been back, but this is not how I imagined it going".

"For me to tell you I was pregnant?". Andy's tears stopped, her face brightening up lightly as a light pink tint covered her cheeks.

"Nope, but I have thought about it. I've been waiting seven months to do this". Sam leaned in and let his face drift down closer to hers, his lips ghosting light kisses over her fallen tears before they moved down to her lips and captured them in the lightest of soft kisses.

"I love you". He whispered against her lips as he slowed his kisses down and began pulling away.

"I want to do laundry with you, and make breakfast, lunches and dinners together. I want morning kisses and your toothbrush in my bathroom, your clothes in my closet, I want you and a minivan full of kids Andy".

Andy stared at Sam, his five year plan spreading itself out in the air next to her ear as he whispered the words tenderly into her hair.

Sam felt and tense a little at his words, like she was still scared.

"I want you, all of you Andy, not just a piece. Over the last few months that little piece you gave me wasn't enough, but this, the whole package will always be enough".

It was like Sam instinctively knew what she was thinking, her unspoken worries felt by him.

Sam waited for some kind of response from her. But they just stood there wrapped up in an awkward silence as he lay all his cards out on the table.

"I...can't, not until I know...". Andy retreated back into her shell, taking Sam's heart with her.

"No, I want to do this with you, not watch you do it and then wait for another reason for you to back out like you're letting me go because you feel you have to".

"I don't want you to let me go. If you are pregnant I'm going to be the happiest man on the face of the earth, if you're not I'm going to be the luckiest man on the face of the earth if you let me keep you, but you need to let me in Andy".

Andy's eyes bulged a little at his words. They were so heartfelt that she knew they brought the tears to her eyes that she could feel welling.

"Sam...".

"Andy, I'm asking for a chance, one last shot. If you don't feel anything for me, if there's no chance that you do, can or ever will love me then I'll back off, but I need to hear you say it, say that you don't feel...".

Andy's hand reached up, her fingertips resting gently on Sam's lips to stop him from talking.

"I can't do this and it's not enough, or I'm not enough one day".

Sam pulled back, his lips freeing up so that he could talk.

"Andy, since I met you, you've been enough. I haven't looked at another woman, wanted another woman or thought about another woman, because you are enough. Even when I had no claim on you, and even when you went UC, you were enough. The only time it wasn't was when you let me have pieces of you for short periods of time, that wasn't enough because I want all of you, all of the time".

Sam looked Andy in the eyes as he spoke, his thumb gently caressing her cheek as his hand found her face. His eyes blazed with truth, his voice sincere.

He meant it.

"I love you, and I want to spend as long as it takes to show you that, but you need to let me in". Sam stood his ground, his voice taking on a whole range of new strength as he spoke.

Her reluctance was killing him, his heart refusing to beat as long as he didn't have an answer.

Slowly Andy nodded, her head not really moving to his eyes, but his hand feeling it.

In one instant, his world felt complete.

He moved forwards and wrapped his arms around her in the most comforting hug. He lifted her feet up off the ground and spun her around, a giggle piercing his ears as she let it out.

Sam set her feet back down on the ground and moved her back to arms length so that he could look her in the eyes and a whisper another 'I love you' before kissing her with more passion than he ever thought possible.

**Another chapter done, more up soon! Don't forget to review?**


	14. The Long Way Home

**Hello once again!**

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews! And follows!**

**Chapter 14**

**The Long Way Home**

They spent some time talking after that, but Andy still held back. Her reluctance to give in and let go weighing heavily on Sam.

As lunchtime drew nearer, he waited for her to focus her attention on him before asking her if she would go back to Toronto with him.

Today.

She seemed clouded in hesitation, her answer not slipping from her lips as he had hoped.

After spending an hour hammering away at her walls, Sam finally got her to cave in and accept his offer to go home.

Another hour passed before they left, Millie giving Sam a wink as she handed his credit card back, refusing to swipe it and let him pay for his stay.

Sam let Andy drive Tommy's car ahead of him, his eyes mainly focusing on her driving rather than paying attention to the road as he should have been.

He followed her until she parked outside her condo, her face peering up at his in shyness as she looked at him through the drivers side window.

Sam helped her with her bags and walked her up to her door before excusing himself and just leaving her there.

He heard her door close with a loudness that echoed down the hallway, a sign that she wasn't all that impressed that he was just leaving her there after he asked her to come home.

But Sam had errands to run, in order to get them the final step to where he wanted them to be.

Just as the sun was beginning to set, Sam returned to Andy's, his hand rapping on the door lightly.

She opened the door almost immediately, a timid smile on her face when he returned.

He walked to the kitchen and set the bags he was carrying down on the counter, his gaze taking her appearance in.

She looked a little lost, and a little teary eyed. As well as incredibly tired.

Deciding to go with dinner first, Sam handed her the Chinese he stopped for on the way over.

They settled on the couch in steady silence, Andy whispering a soft thank you as her hand reached out for the chopsticks.

Once they had done eating, Sam threw away the garbage and motioned for Andy to join him in the kitchen, a small bag clutched in his hand.

"I want you to do this now okay? No arguments. And I'll be right here, so do not think of kicking me out". Sam said holding the bag out for her to take.

His heart skipped a beat as she took it and looked inside, before it stampeded in rhythm when he saw the color drain from her face.

"Now?". Her voice rattled as she looked up at him, her eyes not lingering on his for more than a split second.

"Now". Sam whispered.

Andy was shaking her head, like she was in denial.

"Please? You said we wouldn't move in either direction until you knew, if you take the test we'll know...".

Sam had stopped at the pharmacy at brought five home pregnancy tests. Why five he didn't know, he just took one of each not knowing which was the most accurate.

The sales lady had eyed him from behind the counter, but not even her shocked expression had made his smile waver as he put them down on the counter.

"I ...can't..."

"Andy, you can. I'm not going anywhere until you do, so please just do this".

A second later she walked away, her body rigid as she moved towards the bathroom.

Sam waited and waited, the suspense killing him slowly.

After half an hour he stopped waiting and went in search of her.

He read the boxes, so he knew that it shouldn't take that long, not even if she used them all.

He found the bathroom door still closed, a soft whimper audible from behind it.

He didn't bother calling her name, he just tried th handle and was actually surprised to find the door unlocked.

Opening it he found Andy sitting on the edge of the bath, her face covered by her hands.

"Andy?".

She didn't answer, so he moved to kneel down in front of her, his hands bracing themselves on her knees as they trembled.

She was whimpering softly, the last few tears she had left in her making their escape as she sniffed.

But she didn't look at Sam. Not even when he took her hands away from her face and held them in his.

He had no idea why she was crying, and no clue if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Andy, look at me". Sam's voice was soft, but only drew another shake of her head as she refused to open her eyes.

"Please?".

She still wouldn't.

She was hardly registering his presence, and seemed so wrapped up in whatever the tests had said that she just shut down.

That fact had Sam a little worried and he still didn't know what the tests had said.

"Will you come with me?".

His question made Andy's head snap up, her eyes opening to peer at him a little confused by his request.

"Please? I want to show you something".

Sam stood up and held out his hand for her to take.

She took it after a moments hesitation. He led her out of the bathroom, ignoring the sticks that lay on the counter top of the basin.

He tugged her all the way down to his truck and helped her in, before getting in behind the steering wheel and driving out into the traffic.

Twenty minutes later, he pulled up outside an empty house on the other side of town.

The house was in an upmarket suburb, a much better area than where Andy lived.

Sam motioned for her to get out the truck and waited for her to follow him as he made his way up the cobblestone walkway.

They reached the steps that led up to the front porch, a huge archway door looming over them.

Sam took Andy by the hand and tugged her gently until the stopped in front of the door. He fished a set of keys out of his pocket and handed them to her, her free hand moving up to take them.

Sam nodded and let her hand go, so she fumbled with the keys until she found the right one that fit into the lock.

She let the door swing open and waited for Sam to nod before she stepped into the house.

The rooms were empty, but the place was clean. Someone had been here recently to air it out, there was no musty smell hanging in the air.

Sam led Andy through each room before moving to the staircase and stop at the bottom.

"It has four bedrooms, and two bathrooms upstairs"

Andy just seemed flabbergasted.

She hadn't said a word since they left her condo.

Sam moved back to the kitchen and opened a drawer, retrieving a large white envelope from in before handing it over to Andy.

She took it from her, her hand trembling lightly as she took hold of the envelope, her other hand gently sliding out the piece of paper that was inside.

Andy began reading, her eyes growing wide before shifting over to Sam and back to the paper.

"Sam...". She really had no idea what to say.

It was the deed to the house they were standing in, Sam's name as well as hers on it. But the thing that caught her the most was the fact that it was dated and signed the day before Jerry died.

"It's what I've always wanted". Sam managed to say eventually, her eyes fixed on him.

She slid the paper back into the envelope and handed it back to Sam, her head shaking while her lips uttered painful words.

"You don't have to...I'm not...". Her voice trembled as she tried to speak before it cut out altogether.

Sam still didn't understand why she was so upset.

"I'm not pregnant, so you don't need to..."

"No, do not even go there Andy". Sam wouldn't let her finish the sentence that she would use to let him go.

"I though we went over this. It doesn't matter if you're pregnant or not, it doesn't matter if the baby's not mine if you are. I want you, I want this, and nothing you say right now will make me feel any differently. That's why I bought you here before I knew if you are or not. I wanted you to know that I wasn't doing this because you were pregnant if you were, I'm doing this because the prospect of fathering your children made me get my head out my ass and say something".

Sam's tone was slightly distraught, like he thought that if he didn't get it all out in the open now, it was never going to come out.

"This has always been what I've wanted, even after I screwed up and even after you left, I wanted it".

Andy's face softened slightly, although her eyes were still brimming with tears that had yet to spill.

Andy was having trouble keeping herself in check. When she saw that the first test was negative, so she took a second and a third, all showing the same results.

At first the idea of being pregnant scared her so much that she ran.

On the drive to Millie's, she pictured what a child made by her and Sam would look like, the most adorable images coming to mind.

Suddenly she was hoping that she was pregnant, and that was what scared her the most.

The fact that even though she had grown up without her own mother, she really suddenly wanted to be one herself.

Something she had never felt capable of being before- a mother.

"I wanted to be...".

She looked away like she was ashamed, the lightbulb in Sam's mind suddenly lighting itself up.

She wanted to be pregnant, but she wasn't, that was the reason she was so upset.

That was the best thing she had ever said to him besides the I love you's that she had once told him.

His face cracked up into a crooked smile, his head cranked to the side, "Seriously?".

Andy nodded, unable to say any more.

Sam had told her how he felt, that he wanted her back, but she was still scared that one day it wouldn't be enough. Even though he stole her heart, and she never got it back, and even though she was even more in love with him now than when they were dating, she just couldn't bring herself to say it.

"Then say yes". Sam said, his eyes dancing in hope as he stepped towards her.

"Let me in Andy, just enough to show you". He wasn't asking much, he already knew he was more than half way there, he just didn't know how to get to the rest of the way.

"Give me six months to show you, before you make up your mind".

Andy's eyes widened a little more than they already were.

"My game, my rules this time".

Sam had no idea why that just came out the way it did, but he needed more time. Time to show her that he wasn't going anywhere, time to show her that he wasn't letting her go for anything in the world.

"I played yours, so now it's my turn".

Aaarrrggg! Did he really just say that?

She was this close to giving in, this close to letting him in, and then he just had to say that.

"Why six months?".

"I have no idea, but that's what I want, that's all I'm asking for".

His face was shrouded in hope, the light in his eyes not quite as bright as it once was.

"Depends on the rules Sam. I've already made some pretty stupid mistakes".

His determination wasn't wavering, he was going to fight her for her, even if it took him forever.

"We'll take it slow, at whatever pace you want to. Any rules you want to put into play will be allowed, anything you don't want to do, we won't do".

Sam was clutching at straws and he knew it. She looked like she was trying to let him down easy and let him go, and that was something that he wasn't ready to accept.

"I know it's a lot to ask, just let me try?".

They stood in silence for what felt like hours, days, months. Even though she had already told him that she wanted to try, now that she knew she wasn't pregnant, she seemed to want to back away.

She couldn't say no, even if she wanted too. The thing was, she didn't want to. She wanted this, she wanted to try.

"Okay".

"Okay?". Sam's smile was evident in his voice, she had her eyes trailing the floor but she didn't need to see him to hear it.

Sam's finger found it's way under her chin, lifting her face so that she would look at him.

He couldn't not reach out and touch her any more, so he gave in and let his lips drift to hers.

He dropped the envelope the instant that their lips fused, his hand running up her face and into her hair, while the other came to rest on her hip and pulled her closer.

She responded instantly under his touch, her arms wrapping themselves around his neck, her hands loosing themselves in his hair.

He kissed her with more passion than he had before, more love, more everything. He needed her to know he meant it, know he felt it.

He inched her even closer as he kissed her with meaning, with possession.

It wasn't possession to show that she belonged to him, but rather that he gave himself to her, to be possessed.

That was the most important thing that she had to know, that he belonged to her and that it would stay that way.

Even when she was dating Callaghan, he belonged to her.

Even when she was gone, he belonged to her.

Now he just needed to prove to her that they belonged together.

He breathlessly pulled away, his nose running up and down hers, his lips leaning up to brush a kiss over her forehead before leaning his own against it.

The kiss had grown heated, her hands running down and tucking themselves in under his shirt to set his skin on fire.

That was something he needed to extinguish, the burning desire he had right now to drag her home and make love to her until she called out his name.

That was something he couldn't allow right now.

Andy was just as breathless, her eyes still closed as she tried to regain her breath, a small smile tugging on her lips as her face flushed heatedly.

The first rule had just been made, his heart setting the rule before his brain could override it.

He just hoped that he would be able to stick to it.

"Let's get you home". Sam suddenly pulled away, his hand seeking Andy's out as he bent down to pick up the envelope.

The words sounded wrong.

Here they were, standing in a house he bought over a year ago, for them, and he's saying 'Let's get you home'; when this was supposed to be the home they shared.

Sam took one last look inside before pulling the front door closed and locking it. Turning he found Andy leaning against the trucks door, her face lit up like she had suddenly found something that invoked happiness in her.

The thought caused Sam's heart to speed up, hopefulness running through his very being as he watched her turn to face him.

She blushed and looked away, Sam's eyes fixated on her.

The image was perfect.

She looked just right standing there at the end of the cobblestone walkway.

For the first time since she came back, Sam thought that he actually stood a chance, a chance to get her back and keep her this time.

**Thanks for reading, don't forget to review?**


	15. In The End

**Hi everyone**

**Sorry for bailing on you, but I kinda had an accident with my hands, so typing was out of the question! But I'm back, even though I'm typing with 2 fingers and its taking forever!**

**Thanks for the PM's!**

**Hope you're all well!**

**Chapter 15**

**In The End. **

Setting the rules was easy, abiding by them - that was a whole different story.

Rule one was easy to decide on; NO SEX! It was what got them into the mess they were in, in the first place. But then again, it wasn't just sex.

Sam made every attempt imaginable to show Andy how he felt over the following days.

He made her dinner, stroked her hair, and held her hand whenever they drove anywhere.

At work, he would make her coffee, and take it to her, stealing a chaste kiss whenever he had the opportunity too.

Andy was trying too, she kept the forlorn looks off her face and would allow herself to be swept away in any given moment.

Sam kept the eating and sleeping rules, and often whisked her home to his house for just that; sleep.

He didn't really have any other rules to add, life was just perfect.

For about a week.

Then irritable Andy climbed out at Sam's blatant refusal to touch her.

He never told her the rule, that was his own personal rule too live by, and she never said anything. But he could tell, it was in the way she gave up trying to undress him with a heavy sigh, or the way she rammed into the locked bathroom door when she thought it was just closed, and he was in the shower.

But Sam kept himself in check, more than anything he needed her to see that it wasn't about the most amazing sex, it was all about her.

By the second week, she had snapped onto what he was doing, and pulled out all the stops by arming herself with sexy underwear.

Yup, she just discarded clothes or sleepwear, and pulled out the big guns; or rather the tiny scraps of material.

Sam really didn't have his rules cut out for himself.

So he compromised.

At least in his head anyway.

They were on the couch after dinner, when Andy's hand slipped under his shirt and sprayed across his stomach, the immediate effect of tingles running over his skin.

Andy retracted her hand, a small sound fluttering out that sounded vaguely like 'Aarrgg' as she pulled away.

But Sam's reactions were much quicker, he grabbed her hand and pulled her into his lap as she attempted to stand up.

Caught off guard, she was easily tugged over.

She had a really satisfied grin on her face as she moved to straddle his lap, her lips really close as Sam's hands grabbed her hips.

He really only made the decision when she touched him, it wasn't anything he had pre-planned. That wasn't his style.

Andy kissed him first, her lips claiming his in hunger, and her kisses soft and sweet.

Why he ever thought he could be in this position with her and not touch her, he would never know.

After letting her swallow his breath, Sam pulled away. Andy's head leaning onto his as she let her forehead rest against his, a frustrated sigh audible.

"Is there something wrong with me?". She suddenly blurted out as she pulled away and slipped off his lap.

Sam gaped at her, how could she possibly not know what she did to him?

Without waiting for an answer Andy stalked away towards Sam's bed.

Sam caught her a few feet away from the bedroom door, that she would most likely slam after stepping through it.

Sam spun her around and pulled her against him, before walking them backwards until her back met the wall.

When she had nowhere else to go, Sam pressed against her, his body telling her that she had the whole concept wrong.

"Rule one, no sex. Because it got us into trouble the last time, even though it got you here".

Andy stared at Sam, her tongue swiping over her bottom lip as she let his words settle in her mind.

Andy leaned forwards and cupped Sam's face between her hands before initiating a second kiss.

But this one was different. It was still hungry, but it wasn't needy like the one earlier, it was giving.

Almost like she was giving him permission to break his rule.

When she pulled away, Sam added a breathless "I want you to see that it's more than the sex".

"Then show me". Was her smart-ass reply. She was totally sassing him, and trying to torment him enough to break his restraint.

"Andy". Didn't she know that she was playing with fire?

"Besides, we have never had SEX". She added before fusing her lips to his again.

Sam pulled away, breathing heavily. She really wanted this.

So he scooped her up and carried her to his bed, where he gently set her down.

"Rule one, no sex. Rule two eat and sleep in my bed. Rule three, we move into the new house".

Ever since he had seen her standing in the new house, he couldn't shake the image.

It was perfection.

Andy sank down on the bed, her head dipping low as she tried to shy away from Sam's heated gaze.

But he wouldn't let her, so he climbed on next to her and pulled her down so that they were laying nose to nose on their pillows facing each other.

"It's too soon Sam". Andy finally managed to say, her eyes pinched closed to block the disappointment she was sure that she would find in his eyes.

"Why?". Sam shifted so that he had his head propped up on his hand, his face hovering over hers as he asked the question.

It made Andy react, by her eyes snapping open.

"I want this. I want to go to bed like this every night, and wake up like this every morning". Sam knew he had a long way to go if he was going to convince her.

He had betrayed her trust once before by letting her go, and he couldn't blame her for the hesitation that lingered behind.

"Okay, so I didn't put up the fight I promised too, when I should have. But I'm trying to now. I'm trying to right the wrongs I made, and if it takes me the full six months to get you to let me in; I'll wait". Sam flashed his dimples just to ease the tension he felt settling in on her.

But she closed her eyes and shook her head, like she wanted his words to disappear.

"Andy, I've waited for this moment since I met you, trust me. I've learned my lesson. I'm not giving up".

Andy was peering at Sam now, her eyes awash with unshed tears.

"Why Sam? I agreed to give you six months because you want to play a game I made a mistake by starting. Why haven't you given up?".

Andy suddenly pulled away and sat up, her face creased and her brows furrowed.

Sam mirrored her position and sat up on the bed, his heart breaking at hearing that she thought that this was a mistake.

"You think it's a mistake?".

He really didn't want an answer, but if she needed to tell him ythat it wasn't working, then he needed to hear it.

"I don't want to fight Sam". She said standing up off the bed, one hand on her hip, the other flicking her hair out of her face.

She could tell that Sam was edgy, so she looked away.

"Why is it a mistake Andy?". His voice was an octave below yelling, but he was past caring. He didn't want to yell at her, he wanted her to feel the emotion that he was feeling.

But she just stood there, her lips pressed together in a tight line, her head shaking from side to side.

"Andy?". This time, he was yelling, Andy jumping at the sound of her name.

"Because I love you" she suddenly yelled back, no holds barred as her words came out strong and confident.

It made Sam smile.

There was so much raw emotion behind those four words that Sam could die right now, and he'd die happy.

Andy's eyes stretched a little wider as she realized that she had said what she was trying to either deny, or keep locked away.

Sam slid off the bed, and stepped over to her, his hand lifting her downcast chin up so that she would see him.

"Is that a mistake?". His voice was soft and low, he really had no intention of spooking her again.

"I don't know". Hers was barely audible as she gave her reply.

"Andy, that's all I've ever wanted to hear you say. If I need to wait...".

"That's the problem Sam, I'm done waiting... And that scares me".

Sam felt like he was about to combust.

Andy's eyes were riddled with tears, her face torn between happy at finally admitting it, and fear of him backing away.

"I only set up a game and picked six months, so that I could make you see that I'm in this for the long haul". Sam really wanted her to understand that she had just given him the only thing he had ever wanted.

"I'm scared too, but I'm only scared of losing you". He added after exhaling a long breath.

"I'm scared because I don't want to screw it up again Sam. When I started the game, I was just planning on sex, but I didn't think that there was anything beyond that". Andy was rambling, but it was music to Sam's ears.

"I just kinda figured that the sex was good, why expect more? I wasn't planning on falling in love with you, because I was already there. And then with the pregnancy scare... I wanted it so badly Sam, that I scared myself".

A stray tear leaked out of the corner of her eye, Sam's thumb wiping it away as soon as it was free.

"I wanted it too Andy, but we weren't ready. It'll happen when we are". Sam was peppering light kisses over Andy's forehead, and closed eyes, his hand still on her cheek, while the other moved up to get lost in her hair.

"You want it?". Andy seemed to be wrap in denial.

"Only since I hit the pavement and looked into those brown eyes".

Why was this so hard, why didn't she get it?

"Andy I've been in love with you since that day, and I know I screwed up and hurt you, but it's worth giving us a chance. This is me putting up the fight I should have then, so will you give us a chance? Will you move into the new house with me?".

Sam expected to wait a while for an answer, but surprisingly it was instantaneous.

Her head bobbed up and down, a huge grin on her face.

**Thanks for reading, don't forget to review! **


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