Fullmetal Alchemist 1. Hope

Note: I would just like to thank everyone reading my fics! I really appreciate the feedback and I will do my best to look at some of your work if you review mine . However… if you have nothing to say about my fic other than the fact that you think I spell the cute little blonde mechanic's name wrong, please don't review at all. I have taken three years worth of college level Japanese language classes, and many words that are translated from English into Japanese replace the 'L' with an 'R' because the 'L' sound does not occur in the Japanese language. For example, the word 'love story' is translated as 'rabusutorii,' and even Alphonse's name is translated as 'Aru' or 'Arufonsu.' So to me, the name 'Winri' as it would be pronounced in Japanese could either be translated as Winly or Winry in English. I think Winly sounds more 'English' and less awkward so I prefer that spelling and that is the one I will use. I don't disapprove of the fact that other people have a different opinion, and I don't give other FMA fan fiction writers a hard time for their choices. However, I'm tired of hearing it, and I am not changing every instance of her name in all of my fics to appease those who cannot get over the spelling. We all know who I'm talking about here. Anyway, I do really appreciate the readership and the other comments; its all very encouraging and makes me want to write better and more often! Thanks again!

Hope

Rain poured down in heavy showers across the small, rural town of Rizenbul, rattling the windows, doors, and cabinets in the Pinako household. These storms came and went as the seasons changed, and all the residents, except for maybe the younger children, were so used to them that they rarely found the rolling thunder and bright flashes of lightning lancing through the sky frightening.

Sitting in the window seat that overlooked the road that led in and out of Rizenbul, Winly twisted her long blonde hair between her fingers anxiously, desperately missing both Al and Ed on these boring, rainy nights. 'We always used to spend them in the attic,' she thought wistfully, remembering their hide-and-seek antics among the various crates of machine parts.

A bolt of lighting shot across her vision, startling her into an embarrassed gasp, and returning her thoughts to the present. Those days were long over; Ed was gone – lost somewhere in the alchemic void two years before, and not likely to return. Al was still training with Izumi-sensei, who would no doubt discourage him from following his brother into the Gate. Scheizka had returned to Central where she was needed to follow up on the assassination of Maes Hughes, and was offered a permanent job in the military after the report was completed. Winly had visited Central as well, attending the funeral for Colonel Mustang and keeping Lieutenant Hawkeye and Hughes' family company through their grieving.

She wished, no – more like ached, for the gaping whole in her own soul to heal; to find someone, anyone, that could lessen the pain of lonely nights like this one. She could not have done anything to save Hughes or Mustang, and now, she was powerless to bring Ed back. If that was even possible. If he was still alive.

Sighing sadly, she muttered to herself as she stood from the padded seat, struggling against the oncoming tears of loss. "It's useless…"

Footsteps on the stairs attracted her attention suddenly, and her grandmother's short form appeared as the sky lit up once again. And her grandmother, rather than grief-stricken and heartsick, looked rather determined and hopeful. "_Worry_ is useless," she replied wisely. "Do the only thing you can, Winly. Hope."

Surprise shocked the young blonde out of her grief, and her tears fled, replaced by an expression of thoughtfulness. 'Hope. Hope that they are okay. Hope that they will come home safe…'

"Remember Al?" Ed had asked, sipping his mug of tea and leaning back so casually and contentedly in one of the wooden chairs at the kitchen table. "Mom always used to flash that light in the window if we stayed out too late – said it was so we would always come home safe."

"Safe…" she muttered allowed, and came back to reality, her grandmother having already wisely left her to her own thoughts. Before she could think about the idea too closely, she pulled her hair back into a sloppy ponytail, and began digging through boxes in the attic – boxes full of obsolete devices that Winly had either built or found replacements for. They had long ago started using less flammable materials for lanterns, but she thought she had the old kerosene one tucked away somewhere for an emergency…

"Aha!" She exclaimed quietly, as she finally found it, fortunately already filled with kerosene, and quickly lit it with a match taken from the same box. The flame caught almost immediately and Winly had to jerk her hand away rather quickly to prevent her fingers from burning. 'I guess I haven't lit one of these in a while,' she thought, returning to the window and setting the lamp on the pad next to her.

Staring into the mesmerizing flame, she became lost in thought once again, reliving memory after memory until she could dredge up no more. Looking to the road, she half-expected to see Ed or Al walking toward the house, and nearly choked as her eyes failed to make out any figure, coming or going. "Please…" she mumbled, almost incoherently. "Please come home safe."

Without thinking, she lifted the lamp into her hands, and toyed with the gas control, making the flame flicker in the dark, just like their mother had. Tears dripped down her cheeks, falling like raindrops to polka-dot her greasy jeans. She was nearly sobbing now, eyes blurred and burning, feeling grief threatening to overwhelm her yet again. Seemingly out of nowhere, her grandmother's voice spoke again into her mind. 'Hope.' Winly knew she had to try – it was the only thing that could bring Ed back to her; the only way…

"Come back to me, Edward. Come back safe, come back whole. Come back…please come back…" She cried softly, hardly able to force her fingers to continue turning the gas control knob back and forth to keep the flame flickering. "I… Edward… I…Edward Elric – I love you!"

Replacing the lamp on the pad once again, Winly fell back against the windowsill sobbing uncontrollably, a mixture of both hope and despair confusing her thoughts, leaving her unable to choose one emotion or the other. Returning her gaze to the window, she yearned for this stormy night to end, so that she could forget…

Lost in her own misery, she almost failed to notice the slowly moving figure on the road. She didn't dare to hope – but whomever it was had to be soaking wet, with no umbrella, and Pinako always offered a place to stay for travelers, as there was no local inn, and the house was easily big enough for a guest with only Winly and herself living there.

As the figure on the road stumbled and fell, Winly's hesitation broke, and, not even stopping to pull on a cloak, ran past her grandmother in the sitting room and out into the storm. The figure on the road hadn't yet risen from his fall, and knelt on hands and knees in the mud, obviously struggling for breath. Winly called out to the person, obviously a "he" from the broad shoulders and collared shirt, but her voice failed to carry over the howl of the storm. As she reached him, almost slipping in the mud herself, she immediately recognized the sign on his read cloak; the same one tattooed on Izumi-sensei's shoulder. Stopping just in front of him, she put her hand on his shoulder, and began to ask if he knew Izumi-sensei and would like a place to stay –

And her breath caught in her throat as a pair of unfocused golden eyes met her own, eyes that she knew as well as her own, that now held such pain, but had once been so joyful. They seemed to focus for a moment, seemed to recognize her, and then rolled up inside his head as he fainted with exhaustion.

Winly snapped out of her astonishment, no longer caring what or why or when Ed had been brought back, only that he was here, and obviously in great need of rest, a bath, and food, in that order. She had no doubt he was ill; anyone out in this storm for longer than it took her to find him and drag him back inside would certainly catch something. She only hoped it wasn't serious and swore to do everything in her power to help him through this, because she flat out refused to lose him again.


	2. A Bit of Relief

Note: I would just like to thank everyone reading my fics! I really appreciate the feedback and I will do my best to look at some of your work if you review mine . However… if you have nothing to say about my fic other than the fact that you think I spell the cute little blonde mechanic's name wrong, please don't review at all. I have taken three years worth of college level Japanese language classes, and many words that are translated from English into Japanese replace the 'L' with an 'R' because the 'L' sound does not occur in the Japanese language. For example, the word 'love story' is translated as 'rabusutorii,' and even Alphonse's name is translated as 'Aru' or 'Arufonsu.' So to me, the name 'Winri' as it would be pronounced in Japanese could either be translated as Winly or Winry in English. I think Winly sounds more 'English' and less awkward so I prefer that spelling and that is the one I will use. I don't disapprove of the fact that other people have a different opinion, and I don't give other FMA fan fiction writers a hard time for their choices. However, I'm tired of hearing it, and I am not changing every instance of her name in all of my fics to appease those who cannot get over the spelling. We all know who I'm talking about here. Anyway, I do really appreciate the readership and the other comments; its all very encouraging and makes me want to write better and more often! Thanks again!

A Bit of Relief

Pinako stood in the doorway, watching Winly drag the mud-caked, unconscious form back toward their house. A slight smile crossed her face; though Winly's back was currently toward her, she thought she recognized the bit of red cloak and black boots visible between Winly's half-bent legs. Pinako hobbled silently to the kitchen, rekindled the cooking fire and hung a teapot full of water over the spit to boil. If she was correct, she thought, she would have a very ill patient for a few weeks, and a love-sick couple for many more than that.

Pinako returned to the doorway just in time to help Winly half-carry, half-drag the limp body in her arms into the house. For lack of an easier to access, or warmer, room, both instinctively headed for the kitchen; the air in the room was definitely at a higher temperature than the rest of the house, and, though the floor was probably cold, that particular problem could be easily remedied by a few cushions and blankets.

Panting from the effort of moving a body nearly the size of her own and definitely more heavily muscled, Winly ran for the stairs to grab the extra blankets and pillows from the storage closet. They weren't the best they had, she knew, but they were the same ones Ed and Al had used when they had visited, and something told her that would help somehow.

Returning to the kitchen laden to the chin with bedding, Winly found Obaachan holding Ed's torso slightly upright, trying to get him to drink a little water. He hadn't quite regained consciousness, but his body would automatically swallow a bit of liquid at a time as long as it was administered slowly.

"Is he…" Winly started to ask as she set the pillows and blankets down next to Ed on the floor. She paused with one in her hand, staring at his impassive expression.

"Winly!" Pinako slammed her walking stick against the floorboards in impatience. "He'll be fine if you get your head together and start moving. Now get some kind of a bed arranged for him while I get an herbal tea ready. He'll be waking up soon, and I want to get as much liquid and herbs into his system as possible before he falls asleep. Now move!"

A bit stung by her grandmother's harsh words, but knowing they were meant to help her childhood friend, Winly set up the bed almost mechanically, letting her hands do the work while her mind focused on Ed's condition. 'I swore to do all I could, and I will,' she promised herself again as she draped a second blanket over the first.

"Okay, Obaachan, I've got the bed ready," she replied a few moments after double checking the layers.

"Good. Now, we've got to get him out of those wet clothes; he'll only get worse if we don't get him dry. I think I've got an old outfit of his tucked away somewhere…" Pinako headed towards the stairs. "Oh, the tea should be done steeping soon, so try to get him to drink some when he wakes. It'll help keep the fever down."

As Winly's grandmother limped toward the stairs, Winly began the difficult task of removing wet clothing from Ed's limp body. Undoing the cloak was easy; it simply fell onto the floor beside his shoulders. His jacket, shirt, and undershirt were a different story altogether, refusing to budge more than an inch at a time, almost as if they were too small for him. Pinako entered the room just as Winly had finished removing Ed's boots and socks, and hesitated with the button on his pants.

"Oh, for the sake of screwdrivers, girl, get them off! You can worry about modesty _after_ he's recovered!" Dropping Ed's old clothes unceremoniously on the floor, Pinako picked up the wet ones and hung them over the curtain rack to dry.

Reminding herself that Ed really did need to get out of these clothes, Winly steeled herself and slid his pants and boxers down his hips and legs, averting her eyes from his prone body. Thankfully, these came off much easier than his shirts, so she wasted no time moving Ed's unconscious form onto the blankets beside him, and covering him with the last one.

As she raised his head to slide a pillow underneath, his eyes fluttered open suddenly, and searched the room almost in a panic, feverishly trying to orient himself. Winly's face seemed to be the answer he needed; he relaxed back onto the cushions and groaned as the pain crease between his eyebrows deepened, warning Winly of an oncoming headache. Seeminly out of nowhere, Pinako handed her a bowl of cool water and a washcloth, and Winly began to dab Ed's hot forehead to relieve some of the heat from his fever. He moaned, with relief, Winly hoped, at the touch, and she cradled his head in her arms, cooing comfortingly. "It's all right, Edward. You're safe, and you're home."

"Win - " he attempted to whisper her name, but a series of coughs prevented him from speaking.

Winly smoothed his tangled blonde bangs behind his ears, and hushed him quickly. "There'll be time for that later. Now, can you sit up a little? Obaachan made some tea for you; she says it will help with the fever."

Ed nodded weakly, and allowed Winly to help him sit up enough for her to hold the mug to his lips and let him take a few sips of the bitter liquid. He nodded after three or four small swallows, and Winly was tempted to let him rest, but knew better from prior experience. "Come on, Ed, just a little bit more. Finish half the mug, and we'll let you rest, okay? I promise, it will be worth it."

Edward's eyes searched her face, for what she didn't know, but smiling seemed to convince him to continue drinking, actually finishing the entire mug, to her surprise, before carefully lowering himself back down to the cushions.

With that done, Winly set about cleaning up some of the mud from his hands, face and braid, which, without running water, was rather difficult. He seemed to appreciate the cool water on his face, however, and Winly was almost sorry when, some time later, Obaachan tapped her shoulder and told her that she'd done enough.

"We should both head up to bed," her grandmother ordered, rather than suggested. "He needs his rest, and so do you. We've got a busy day tomorrow."

Reluctantly, Winly began to rise, but fell back as she found her left hand unable to move from the floor. Looking down, Winly met Ed's eyes for a second time, this time clearer and intelligent, and he mouthed silently, "Don't go."

"Obaachan - "

Winly's grandmother interrupted her protest with a sigh. "All right, then, if that's what he wants; but _you_, my granddaughter, are going to get out of your wet clothes immediately. You know where the spare sleeping bag is. I'll watch over Edward here until you come back."

Winly smiled at Ed once more, and thought she saw a ghost of a smile flicker across his face as the grip on her wrist loosened. She positively dashed to her room, pulled on pajamas, grabbed the sleeping bag and returned to find Edward already dozing off, and Pinako steeping another cup of tea.

As Winly bent to arrange the sleeping bag, she listened carefully to Pinako's instructions. "If he starts coughing, get him to sit up and pat his back with your hand like this." Winly glanced up from her task to see her grandmother cupping her hand. "It will help break up the congestion. If his fever picks up, which it probably will, don't let him throw the blankets off; it will only get worse. Dab his forehead and neck with cool water; that should make it bearable. If he wakes up during the night, try to get him to finish the second mug of tea on the counter; hot or cold, it should still do the job. And finally, if anything, ANYTHING comes up that you don't know how to handle, wake me up. Got it?"

Quickly reviewing the instructions in her head, Winly nodded in response, and climbed into her sleeping bag, still too tense and worried to sleep, but glad that Ed had asked her to stay with him. 'Not that I wouldn't have spent the night down here anyway, with or without his and Obaachan's approval.'

"Oh, I almost forgot," Pinako said, snapping her fingers and momentarily waking Ed from his light slumber. Tossing a metal basin on the opposite side of Ed's bed, Pinako smirked at the questioning look from Winly. "Just in case nature calls," she snickered, and hobbled upstairs, oblivious to Winly's flushed cheeks. "Goodnight."

"G'night," Winly called back, and settled down in her sleeping bag facing Edward. Coughing a little, he rolled onto his side to face her as well, and stared at her for a long while. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again as he decided against it, and flipped carefully onto his stomach. Reaching out with his human hand, he found Winly's arm, and pressed it to his back beneath the covers.

She smiled at his pleading expression and shifted closer to him, and watched his facial muscles relax a bit as she began to rub his back comfortingly, just like she used to when he'd been sick or upset in the past. It had always made him feel better back then, and this time was obviously no exception. A short while later, easy snores slipped from his nose, and his breath came evenly and deeply.

'Obaachan was right; that medicine really did help,' Winly thought, reluctantly lifting her hand from Ed's back and tucking the covers close around his shoulders. She lay watching his sleeping form for a while, barely able to restrain herself from brushing the back of her hand along his smooth cheek. Finally, however, exhaustion caught up with her, and she fell into a quiet slumber.


	3. Suffering

Note: I would just like to thank everyone reading my fics! I really appreciate the feedback and I will do my best to look at some of your work if you review mine . However… if you have nothing to say about my fic other than the fact that you think I spell the cute little blonde mechanic's name wrong, please don't review at all. I have taken three years worth of college level Japanese language classes, and many words that are translated from English into Japanese replace the 'L' with an 'R' because the 'L' sound does not occur in the Japanese language. For example, the word 'love story' is translated as 'rabusutorii,' and even Alphonse's name is translated as 'Aru' or 'Arufonsu.' So to me, the name 'Winri' as it would be pronounced in Japanese could either be translated as Winly or Winry in English. I think Winly sounds more 'English' and less awkward so I prefer that spelling and that is the one I will use. I don't disapprove of the fact that other people have a different opinion, and I don't give other FMA fan fiction writers a hard time for their choices. However, I'm tired of hearing it, and I am not changing every instance of her name in all of my fics to appease those who cannot get over the spelling. We all know who I'm talking about here. Anyway, I do really appreciate the readership and the other comments; its all very encouraging and makes me want to write better and more often! Thanks again!

Suffering

Holding Ed half-upright as he coughed miserably in her arms, Winly wondered fleetingly why she had thought this night would be easy. Rearranging his feverish body against her shoulder, she cupped her hand like her grandmother had shown her and patted his back, hoping that he would cough up some of the mucus in his lungs. 'At least we got about an hour or two of rest, though I was kind of hoping that he would sleep through the night…'

After a few more seconds, and several rather racking coughs, Ed finally managed to pull some of the sticky phlegm from his throat and spit it into the dishtowel that Winly held in front of his mouth. He took a few tentative, shaky breaths, and managed a few deep ones as well before another, much shorter and much less intense, coughing fit stole his breath.

As he recovered, Winly rubbed his back soothingly and he relaxed into her touch. "Can you sit up by yourself for a minute?" she asked, barely stifling a yawn. "I'm going to go get you some water and a second dose of tea."

Grimacing, no doubt at the thought of the bitter, but extremely helpful, medicine that Winly was about to make him drink, Ed coughed one more time, then nodded in response. 'Good thing he didn't make the mistake of trying to talk again; that's what made the last bout so bad.'

Hurrying through the cool (in comparison to the too-warm body previously pressed up against her) air to the counter, she quickly returned with a glass of water, and the now-chilled mug of tea her grandmother had left for her. He took the medicine first, surprisingly, and all but gulped it down, chasing it with the fresh water. Handing both back to Winly, he leaned up against her shoulder, eyes half-lidded in sheer exhaustion.

Winly quickly decided that the now-empty glasses could stay on the floor for the night rather than in the sink, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders to squeeze him tightly in reassurance. "Ready to go back to sleep?"

He frowned in response, and made a feeble attempt to kneel, both arms and legs refusing to hold his weight. As his legs gave underneath him, Winly caught him, or rather, helped him control his fall, and managed to lay him down without hurting him. "What is it?" she asked, confusion, concern and worry fighting for dominance in her expression. "What do you need?"

Ed looked away from her, the red flush in his cheeks displaying either embarrassment, a higher fever, or both, as he pointed toward the water glass. "More water?" she asked, now utterly bewildered as to why he had tried to get it himself, rather than just "asking" for it with gestures.

He shook his head quickly, and clearly immediately regretted it as he winced and raised a hand to his temple. Clearing his throat he managed to whisper, "I… need to… you know…"

'Oh,' Winly thought, her own cheeks reddening as bright as Ed's. "Here," she said handing him the basin, and turned away to allow him as much privacy as she could with the two of them in the room. 'I – no _we_ - shouldn't be embarrassed; it's perfectly natural. I guess… we're just not used to seeing each other like this.' Not that she really minded, it was just strange…

He tapped her shoulder after he finished, and, much to her gratitude, had already moved the basin over to his side of the bed. That, unfortunately, was not something she could wait to empty until morning, and, reluctantly, she forced herself to stand from her warm sleeping bag once again. "I'll be right back," she told him gently, ruffling his bangs as he quirked a rather embarrassed half-smile of thanks. As fast as she dared run without risking spilling the basin's contents, Winly hurried outside through the now calm night to the outhouse. She barely registered the fact that the once thick, stormy clouds had already disappeared as she quickly poured the liquid into the toilet, rinsed the basin in the sink, and all but sprinted back to the house. Rubbing her cold bare arms to warm them as she closed the front door lightly behind her, she hoped the medicine would take effect soon and last at least until dawn; both Edward and herself needed rest, and badly.

As she snuggled back into the warmth of her sleeping bag, Ed had already closed his eyes and was currently shifting about restlessly, grunting in discomfort. 'He must feel like we do sometimes during the summer; no one wants to sleep under the covers because it's so hot, but you can't sleep without them or the mosquitoes will eat you alive.'

"Hey, Ed, how's the fever?" she asked, gently stroking his damp hair.

Without opening his eyes, Ed cringed and blindly searched for her hand, then touched the back of it to his warm forehead. 'Uh oh.' Winly quickly grabbed the bowl with the water and cloth and cleaned the sweat from Ed's forehead as he relaxed. His breathing soon became regular, if not quite as deep as usual, and Winly laid the cloth on his forehead to help keep the fever down while he slept.

For what she hoped to be the final time that night, slid back under the covers and fell immediately asleep.


	4. Oblivion

Note: I would just like to thank everyone reading my fics! I really appreciate the feedback and I will do my best to look at some of your work if you review mine . However… if you have nothing to say about my fic other than the fact that you think I spell the cute little blonde mechanic's name wrong, please don't review at all. I have taken three years worth of college level Japanese language classes, and many words that are translated from English into Japanese replace the 'L' with an 'R' because the 'L' sound does not occur in the Japanese language. For example, the word 'love story' is translated as 'rabusutorii,' and even Alphonse's name is translated as 'Aru' or 'Arufonsu.' So to me, the name 'Winri' as it would be pronounced in Japanese could either be translated as Winly or Winry in English. I think Winly sounds more 'English' and less awkward so I prefer that spelling and that is the one I will use. I don't disapprove of the fact that other people have a different opinion, and I don't give other FMA fan fiction writers a hard time for their choices. However, I'm tired of hearing it, and I am not changing every instance of her name in all of my fics to appease those who cannot get over the spelling. We all know who I'm talking about here. Anyway, I do really appreciate the readership and the other comments; its all very encouraging and makes me want to write better and more often! Thanks again!

Oblivion

Throughout the next three days, Edward slipped in and out of consciousness, unable to focus his thoughts or eyesight on anything short of the blurry images of Winly or Pinako shuffling about the room. Every few hours, or so he assumed, one of them would force another dose of medicine down his throat, this time a viscous, gooey liquid that adhered stubbornly to his throat no matter how many times he coughed or swallowed. He wasn't in much of a position to argue, and it _did_ lessen the frequency and intensity of the coughs, however, so he took it willingly and without complaint.

He hadn't felt hungry yet, and hadn't been much inclined to eat, but Winly insisted he at least try some chicken soup broth and rice to keep his strength up. He considered retorting 'What strength?' to her last comment, but he hadn't the energy or the heart to respond so harshly after seeing her worried eyes.

His stomach had instantly rejected the first batch; a fact that Winly had accounted for by bringing an extra bowl and towel, but the second and each one after that settled, if a bit uncomfortably. It felt like he hadn't eaten in weeks, and his stomach had forgotten how to digest food.

The morning after he had arrived, he vaguely remembered Winly and her grandmother helping him up the stairs, his own legs barely able to hold him, and into the spare bedroom. Looking around, he decided that that had not been a dream; he now lay slightly propped up on the bed, just barely able to see the burned remnants of his old home through the glass window.

Feeling more awake than he had in days, he quickly discovered that his fever had receded quite a bit, and, though the cough was still rather insistent, his chest felt considerably lighter. He stretched his arms above his head to loosen the stiff muscles, and rolled his shoulders a few times as Winly entered the room with another tray of rice and soup.

She smiled happily in surprise as she saw he was awake, and sat down with one knee resting on the bed and the other leg hanging over the side. "Feeling better?" she asked, brushing a few of Ed's stray bangs behind one of his ears.

Edward dropped his gaze from her eyes as he felt his face burning, and this time he knew he couldn't blame it on the fever. He wasn't _used_ to this; no one had cared for or about him as she had, in this world or the other, excepting his mother and Al; one of them was dead, and the other he hadn't seen in over two years. 'And this is something altogether different from brotherly love.'

Suddenly realizing that Winly was waiting for an answer, but not knowing what to say, he simply nodded. "Yeah."

She set the tray on his lap and he began to eat, slowly so his stomach could handle it, though he felt truly hungry for the first time in days. He was all too happy for the distraction at the moment, and it gave him some time to mull over his confused emotions.

While he'd been sick, he hadn't thought before doing anything; he'd simply done what instinct dictated. And it seemed that instinct had been urging him toward Winly. 'She's probably the best friend I have, next to Al. She knows me better than I know myself, sometimes, and we've been through so much together. No one else understands me like she does, equal to equal, accepting my decisions even if she doesn't particularly like them. She's seen me at my most vulnerable, and she's still here, taking care of me.'

Taking very good care of him, in fact. To his surprise, his meal (was it a late lunch or early dinner?) had vanished, and he leaned back on the cushions, feeling pleasantly satisfied and full. "Thanks, Win," he said sincerely, hoping she understood he meant it for more than just the meal.

She took human hand in both of hers and squeezed. "No problem. I'm just glad you're getting better." Pausing, she looked him over, and continued. "Think you're ready for a bath today? I've had the stones heating for a while so they'd be ready when you woke up."

Running a hand through his now-loose hair, though he didn't remember anyone having taken it out, he decided that, though he was still tired, he definitely needed to clean up. 'And this has nothing to do with the fact that Winly's doing this for me; no, not one tiny bit,' he thought sarcastically. Cracking a half-smile, he nodded and replied, "I owe you one."

Taking the tray off of Ed's lap, Winly smiled wryly. "Two years spent in Ishbala-knows-where and you _still_ haven't given up that old equivalent trade philosophy?"

Remembering the truth about the real energy that enabled alchemical reactions, Ed sobered instantly. He'd almost forgotten he was back in the world where alchemy existed, prospered even, at the cost of human lives in the other realm called Earth. Those lives could potentially be anyone; even the mathematical and mechanical geniuses: Einstein, Leibniz, and countless others he had done research with.

"Uh, just a slip of the tongue, Win," he lied, feeling quite exhausted, but knowing he truly needed that bath. "I'll – uh – see you downstairs in a few minutes, then."

Frowning in concern, she mumbled an "okay" before heading to the kitchen with the tray.

'Dammit, I didn't mean to do that. I should tell her what I learned…' His train of thought broke off as he remembered bringing Al back to this world. 'Al's here, and if I know him, he's been practicing alchemy… and he doesn't know either…'

He sat up as quickly as he dared, and swung his bare legs over the side of the bed. He stood up carefully, shaking off the dizziness, and put on the clothes either Winly or her grandmother had left for him on the bedside table. His movements felt slow and heavy, but definitely easier than they had been when he had arrived. 'I suppose Winly was right to make me eat, especially after all that time - ' He almost had to sit down again as he remembered just how he had come back. 'That explosion, the gate… how long was I there? Hard to tell with no sun, no space even, just white everywhere.' He shuddered at the madness that had nearly claimed his mind; only Izumi-sensei's meditation tricks had saved him from that horrible fate. Then somehow, somehow he'd been pulled between realms, wandering in a darkness that felt all the more complete after the white spacelessness that contained the gate. He'd seen the blinking light, burning his eyes but nevertheless pulling him toward it. 'And I instantly knew I was on the road here. And that storm, what if - ' His eyes widened as understanding dawned. 'What if Al tried to get me back?'

Edward forced himself to stand and stumbled toward the door, thinking of nothing but finding Al; he needed to know that his brother was okay, and fervently hoped that he hadn't actually tried to bring Ed back, though the coincidence was far too great to ignore completely. He forced himself impatiently to take the stairs slowly and carefully, and burst into the kitchen, surprising both Winly and her grandmother.

"Al?" he panted, leaning heavily on the doorjamb. "Where – is – Al?"

Winly reacted first, dragging him toward a chair and finally resorting to forcing him to sit when he argued. "Ed, calm down. Al is fine; he's still training with Izumi-san."

"No, no. He – I think he brought me back. I need to know, now, if – if he actually tried, if – if he's all right, what happened - " Ed knew he was rambling, and crazily at that, but he couldn't help it. This was too important, too urgent, to wait. He'd run all the way to Dublith if he had to, he simply needed to know –

Kneeling in front of him, Winly grabbed both his shoulders and shook him, trying to break the gripping spell of distress. "Ed, get a hold of yourself," she ordered sternly, meeting and holding his gaze, and fighting down the panic and resentment she read there with the love and concern she put into her own. "Obaachan sent a letter to them three days ago, the day after you arrived. We're expecting a reply from them in the form of a letter or a visit anytime now."

His shoulders relaxed beneath her hands, and he lowered his eyes to his hands, which now lay clasped in his lap. Winly dropped her hands to take hold of his, and lowered her voice. "I know you were thinking about going to Dublith yourself, but you're still too weak. All you can do right now is hope everything will turn out fine."

He nodded dumbly, surprised at how mature Winly had become since he'd seen her last. He'd rather expected an egg-shaped lump on his head from her blasted wrench rather than this kind of reasoning from her, a reasoning which, coming from anyone else, he would never have listened to.

"Ready for that bath? The water should be warm, now."

He nodded again, and walked out to the bathtub in the yard, closing the curtain behind him as Winly watched with concern. "Obaachan, what do you think happened?"

She turned away from the stove and shrugged. "I suppose we'll find out when he's ready to tell us."


	5. Confession, Part 1

Note: I would just like to thank everyone reading my fics! I really appreciate the feedback and I will do my best to look at some of your work if you review mine . However… if you have nothing to say about my fic other than the fact that you think I spell the cute little blonde mechanic's name wrong, please don't review at all. I have taken three years worth of college level Japanese language classes, and many words that are translated from English into Japanese replace the 'L' with an 'R' because the 'L' sound does not occur in the Japanese language. For example, the word 'love story' is translated as 'rabu sutorii,' and even Alphonse's name is translated as 'Aru' or 'Arufonsu.' So to me, the name 'Winri' as it would be pronounced in Japanese could either be translated as Winly or Winry in English. I think Winly sounds more 'English' and less awkward so I prefer that spelling and that is the one I will use. I don't disapprove of the fact that other people have a different opinion, and I don't give other FMA fan fiction writers a hard time for their choices. However, I'm tired of hearing it, and I am not changing every instance of her name in all of my fics to appease those who cannot get over the spelling. We all know who I'm talking about here. Anyway, I do really appreciate the readership and the other comments; its all very encouraging and makes me want to write better and more often! Thanks again!

Confession

As Edward undressed again and slipped into the warm water, he felt that for the first time since the explosion, he had a moment where his mind was actually clear and some time to think over his new set of circumstances. The first point that developed into a series of thoughts as he began washing was: "How did I get back?"

Unfortunately, that particular question only turned into internal metaphysical arguments, none of which he explored too deeply. 'No one knows for sure how the soul becomes attached to the body, or anything else along those lines. Besides, none of that is _real _science anyway, just speculation,' he reasoned, deciding to relax his body in the tub for a while and just think before washing his hair. 'But there's no information either way. Somehow, my body came back, with my soul intact. It _had_ to have something to do with the explosion; that was no coincidence. I wish I had an idea of how much time has passed since I left…'

Ed closed his eyes and fought off an oncoming headache as he realized that everyone in that other plane probably judged him dead. And that some of those assisting in that lab experiment gone wrong had probably died as well; even the highly technical preventive measures they had taken certainly hadn't been enough to save Ed's body, and he only hoped that not too many others were injured.

'Wait… but what if… ' His eyes suddenly flew open in horror as he considered a certain possibility. 'What if someone was performing large scale alchemy in this world, and the explosion occurred because the transmutation needed an energy source?' Then, 'What if someone in this world figured out how to minimize the amount of power of their own they used for transmutations by maximizing the amount of power stolen from the other plane?' That possibility was just too much to bear; the guilt of all the transmutations he had performed in the past still plagued him, and _his_ offenses had all been in ignorance. 'Maybe the Ishbal people are right… performing alchemy is a sin…'

He pulled the tie out of what hair had remained intact in his braid and shook out the tangles anxiously. Dunking his head under the water, he tried to clear his thoughts, willing them to come without the emotional baggage he had accumulated over the past years.

Luckily, the shock of water over his face brought him out of his guilt and anxiety for the moment, and he began considering lighter topics as he soaped his hair. 'Winly has really changed. I suppose I have as well, but she's become much more… considerate, I guess. I only remember seeing her for maybe a few hours since I've been back, and she was taking care of me the whole time. She's been there for me in the past, but not like this.' He sighed, thinking of the bright smile she'd barely been able to hide when she found him awake that afternoon. 'Maybe… maybe I've just never _needed_ her like this before.'

As he rinsed the soap out of his hair, he realized just how vulnerable he'd been, and still was, really. If that explosion hadn't killed him, a night alone in that weather certainly would have. He had no money, no food, no place to stay… And for the first time he could remember, he actually felt thankful that someone cared enough about him to help him without expecting to be reimbursed in any way.

Ed climbed slowly out of the tub, forcing his still-weak arms to hold him steady while he got his footing. Toweling himself off and carefully avoiding splashing his clothes, he decided to tell her about what he'd learned. 'She deserves to know why I was so upset earlier,' he admitted, though he brushed off the hopeful thought that she could help him deal with some of the guilt he'd acquired. 'And we have some serious catching up to do.'

Putting on his clothes, and still feeling quite weak, he thought it would be a good idea to lay in bed while they talked; he would have rather sat on the grass in the sun, but it was still too cold outside for his liking. 'And Winly would never let me get away with it even if I tried,' he thought affectionately, slowly beginning to like the new light in which he saw her.

He returned to the house with his hair still wet and loose, hanging heavily around his shoulders, and smiled wanly at Winly as she opened the front door for him.

"Feel better?" she asked again, but with more brightness and less concern in her voice. Ed couldn't help but smile at her.

"Yeah. Thanks, Win," he replied, closing the door, and attempted unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn.

"Still tired, huh?" she asked, looking a bit worried once again.

"A little," he admitted, "but we should do some catching up. It's been a long time," he added, lowering his voice to hide his rising emotions. He'd never guessed how hard that was to put into words.

She smiled, though Ed thought he saw the beginnings of tears in her eyes, then toughened her expression a bit. "Okay, but I don't want you overexerting yourself. You're going to relax, and you're going to take your medicine."

Thinking about that nasty tasting ooze he'd been swallowing the last few days made Ed shudder. It was one think to take it while he was half-conscious and confused, but quite another to do so willingly. He groaned and sagged his shoulders with distress. "Winly… you know I - "

Putting her hands on her hips, she interrupted, "I know you push yourself too hard, and hate being taken care of. And if you want that to stop, then you better swallow that stubborn pride of yours and get yourself healthy again."

This sudden burst of emotion surprised Ed, and he unconsciously took a step back.

"I'm sorry," she replied almost instantly. "I… I was just so worried about you… these past two years…" Her bright blue eyes swelled with tears just before she bent her head toward her feet to hide them. "A-and I… I was so afraid I was going to lose you again - "

Winly's voice broke off as the tears began to flow from her eyes, and she brought her hands up to her face as she sobbed quietly. Almost without thinking, Ed wrapped his arms around her and held her close, tucking her head against his shoulder as she cried into his shirtsleeve. The gesture only seemed to make her cry harder, which, strangely, he found he understood; holding her like this was something he never would have thought of two years ago, but it felt so completely natural to him now. And at that moment, he knew she needed to feel his body against hers, his physical presence providing the assurance she needed to finally release some of her worries.

As she continued sobbing, he began to stroke her hair and whisper a soft "shh…" after she dropped her hands from her face and clung to him so hard it made his ribs ache.

After a long while, he pulled away from her, and looked directly into her eyes, ignoring the strands of long blonde hair that had fallen into her face and her reddened cheeks. "I'm right here, Win, and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I promise."

She nodded, wiping her eyes with her fingertips, and he began to cough into his sleeve. "And I'll take my medicine," he managed to choke out between coughs, reaching for the doorjamb behind him as the force caused him to double over. He heard Winly's steps retreat, and then return, and suddenly a spoon full of that thick, transparent, green liquid appeared in front of him. After swallowing his pride, he managed to gag the bitter concoction down, feeling it coat his raw throat and ease the intensity of the coughs almost immediately. Winly had moved to his side and was now patting his back softly.

"You should lie down for a while," she suggested, shifting her hand to his shoulder and giving it a little squeeze.

Ed sighed heavily, wishing he were back to his old, healthy self again. "I know," he replied reluctantly, glancing up and meeting her eyes. Something he read there made him realize just how good that hug had felt, and how much better it had made them both feel. 'Maybe… just maybe… ' "Will you come with me?" The words were so soft even he could barely hear them, and he stared at his feet as he waited for an answer, still not quite daring to hope –

But then Winly's hand touched his cheek, and he looked up to see her smile, full of understanding and compassion, the things he needed the most at that moment. She dropped her hand from his face and took his, giving it a quick squeeze as she led the way up to her room, with Ed following in a half-daze behind her. He still couldn't believe what he was feeling, and that she felt the same way…

She stopped suddenly in the doorway, her hand still on the doorknob. "Is this… I mean, my room, okay? I- I just thought maybe you'd like to get away from the sick room, you know…" She bit her lip and wrinkled her forehead in confusion.

Ed laughed; having heard stories of awkward moments between his colleagues and their significant others in the other plane, and tried to relax and reassure her by reaching out and touching her arm. 'Winly, it's _me_,' he thought, but replied, "Yeah, Win, that's fine."

Keeping hold of his hand, she led him inside and shut the door so her grandmother wouldn't interrupt what both felt was going to end up being a rather private conversation.


	6. Confession, Part 2

Note: I would just like to thank everyone reading my fics! I really appreciate the feedback and I will do my best to look at some of your work if you review mine . However… if you have nothing to say about my fic other than the fact that you think I spell the cute little blonde mechanic's name wrong, please don't review at all. I have taken three years worth of college level Japanese language classes, and many words that are translated from English into Japanese replace the 'L' with an 'R' because the 'L' sound does not occur in the Japanese language. For example, the word 'love story' is translated as 'rabusutorii,' and even Alphonse's name is translated as 'Aru' or 'Arufonsu.' So to me, the name 'Winri' as it would be pronounced in Japanese could either be translated as Winly or Winry in English. I think Winly sounds more 'English' and less awkward so I prefer that spelling and that is the one I will use. I don't disapprove of the fact that other people have a different opinion, and I don't give other FMA fan fiction writers a hard time for their choices. However, I'm tired of hearing it, and I am not changing every instance of her name in all of my fics to appease those who cannot get over the spelling. We all know who I'm talking about here. Anyway, I do really appreciate the readership and the other comments; its all very encouraging and makes me want to write better and more often! Thanks again!

Confession, Part 2

It took a few minutes for Ed and Winly to get settled comfortably on the bed, but, after a some semi-awkward moments, Ed found himself settled on her bed on his back with one arm wrapped around Winly's shoulders and her head resting on his chest. It felt so natural, holding her like this. And when she finally asked what he'd been up to the past two years, it all came pouring out in a rush. He confessed everything, from all the dangerous situations that he'd hidden from her when he and Al had been searching for the Philosopher's Stone, to his experiences in the other plane

Winly alternately brushed stray strands of hair out of Ed's face, touched his cheeks, and rubbed his chest lightly in encouragement when he seemed to be having a hard time getting through a particular story. He had never uttered many of his experiences aloud and had merely turned them over and over again in his mind: like what had happened to Nina, and how he killed Greed. Ed also had had very few people in the other plane whom he talked to about anything outside of their studies, and, when he came to descriptions of machines and things he'd seen, Winly's hand dropped to his stomach and stopped moving as she concentrated hard on understanding and picturing these strange creations.

He began telling her about his studies, trying to skirt around the issue of alchemy for the moment. He'd studied everything related to science, from physics to chemistry, biology to mathematics, and, at her request, promised some day to teach her what he'd learned, though he wasn't sure that all of the same laws applied in their universe. "See, over there, they believe alchemy is a primitive form of science, some mystical, religious nonsense, not a real ability."

Winly rose up a little and placed her arm over Ed's, leaning her weight on her elbow and her head on her hand, considering the possibility. "But you showed them didn't you?"

Ed hesitated, now, knowing he could no longer put off the issue of alchemy and the guilt he still had buried inside him. His voice roughened with emotion, he answered, "Win… over there… alchemy doesn't work. I- It isn't possible."

"What?" Her hand stopped moving again as she leaned back to look at his face, shocked. He felt the sting of tears in his eyes, and a lump rose in his throat, stopping his speech completely for the first time since he began. He thought he would feel embarrassed, but grief and guilt overcame him as all the old thoughts kept coming back, and he began to cry shamelessly, not even bothering to wipe away the tears streaming down the sides of his face into his still-damp hair. Winly brushed them away with her fingertips for a moment, but after seeing the distressed look in Ed's eyes pulled him onto his side and into her arms, where he sobbed quietly, releasing a little of the guilt and fear he'd bottled up inside.

"Win, th-the o-only re-reason th-that alchemy w-works h-here is – " he stammered through the sobs, finding himself unable to continue. Winly rubbed his back to soothe him a little; she had never seen him this upset, even when his mother died. He finally found his voice again. "It's because the energy for alchemy is s-stolen from the o-other plane. Human lives – "

Winly's sudden gasp told him she understood, but she didn't release and repudiate him as he feared she would. Instead, she held him in her arms, tried to quiet his tears, and let him keep choking out his guilt in half-formed sentences. "I- I can't even imagine - how many people - I've – killed - like that - " He cried harder after that admission, by far the hardest of them all for him to say. It felt like the words only made it more true, and he again felt that fear that Winly would hate him because of his sins harden in his chest.

As his sobs grew more forceful, Winly only held him closer, stroking his hair whispering words of encouragement. "You couldn't know that, Ed, you could never have known that," she assured quietly. After a long pause punctuated only by Ed's sniffles, she continued, "We can never know what effects our actions cause, even here. We do things everyday that may in turn effect someone's life across the country, but we never expect it, and if we knew what would have come of that action, we would never have done it. But you can't know that… no one can…"

Ed clung to her, wanting so badly to accept her reasoning as his own, but knowing he couldn't; not yet, anyway. His sobs continued and turned into coughs, becoming more and more forceful until he had sit up to get his breath again. Winly never moved from his side, but rubbed his chest and ran her hands through his hair. "Shh…" she quieted, trying to calm him, "You're only going to make yourself sick again."

At that reminder, he forced himself to settle down, and pulled his sobs under control until only the occasional cough and a few slow tears remained. "Do you see," he continued, able to keep his voice level again, "why I need to talk to Al? He's - "

Ed paused again to fight back the fresh tears stinging his eyes, and glanced up at Winly's sympathetic expression. "I know, and I do understand, but I'm not going to let you hurt yourself to find him. If I know Al and Izumi-sensei, they are already on their way. I wouldn't be surprised to see them first thing in the morning."

Suddenly, a muffled yell penetrated Winly's bedroom door; her grandmother must have called from downstairs. After slowly untangling herself from Ed, she stretched her arms over her head and realized how late it had gotten. The sun had already sank across the other side of the house, and dusk had begun to settle into her room as she went to the door to call back a quick "I'm coming!" before turning to Ed, who remained lying on her bed.

"I've probably got to go help with dinner…" She stopped, all of a sudden uncertain what to suggest or say. His wide yawn finally answered her question. "Get some rest. Want me to wake you for dinner?"

Ed nodded, and curled up on his side, away from her. As she closed the door behind her, she thought she heard Ed mutter her name and peered through the crack to see him looking back at her. "Thanks… for listening," he said quietly before rolling back over to sleep. His voice sounded weary and his features still looked slightly drawn, but Winly knew, as she closed the door and headed down the stairs, that those were things that only time could heal.


End file.
