Merlin 1. Monday

**Disclaimer: **_I do not, nor have I ever owned Merlin except in my own imagination. _

**A/N: **_So here it is, the Merlin/Arthur reincarnation fic I promised. Although, nothing really magical happens quite yet, at the moment I'm trying to set things out so you understand what goes on in later chapters. That is, if people like this and want me to continue - If so, then once you've read it, reviews are always loved and will inspire me to write the next chapter. If people do not like this on the otherhand, I shall not continue as I don't see any point. Anyway, enjoy. _

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_Fire reigned from the sky, blazing in its eternal glory as Merlin manoeuvred himself through the burning forest, smoke and ash threatening to choke him as he fled from the fiery creatures. They were everywhere, their skin radiating a deep orange as tiny flecks of fire raged off their backs and onto the foliage around them as they scattered across the forest floor after him. _

_Arthur was only just in front of him, the rest of the hunting party had fallen behind only to lose their lives to the ungodly creatures, slowly turning to cinders by the intense heat of the salamanders. _

_Not once in Merlin's life had he seen such beautiful, yet horrifying creatures. Many times Gaius had told stories of creatures made of the pure essence of fire, but not once had he seen one until today that is. _

_Leaves quickly disintegrated in a burst of flames, the ash and specks of fire blowing away in the breeze only to set more trees alight. Nature was winning, and Merlin couldn't do anything to stop it. _

_His magic had little effect on the elemental creatures, even when he conjured up water to dampen the creatures with, hoping that by putting out their flames they would wither and die. But that would have just been too easy, wouldn't it? Yes, their fire did indeed go out and they would turn to ash, but before Merlin knew what was going on, the salamanders would rise from their ashes in pairs. _

_There was a slight burning sensation on his arm as Merlin continued dashing through the burning trees towards Camelot, which could now be seen in the distance. Glancing down, he began waving his arm frantically as he realised it was on fire. Luckily he was able to put it out with a simple incantation. _

"_Hurry up Merlin!" Arthur yelled out from ahead, the salamanders closing in from every direction, their tails flicking fireballs towards them and at one point nearly hitting Merlin in the face. _

"_Not everyone can run as fast as you!" Merlin shouted back in fury, jumping over a flaming log that lay across the ground in front of him. _

_That's when it happened. The salamanders managed to get ahead of them, blocking their path entirely, providing no means of escape. They were completely and utterly surrounded by fire._

"_We're trapped," Merlin pointed out subconsciously__. __The heat was already beginning to get to him, droplets of sweat running from his hairline down his face. _

"_Oh really?" Arthur stated, pulling out his sword and wavering it about at the salamanders as they closed in on them. "Thank you for that lovely insight of information, Merlin. Obviously you think I'm incapable of seeing what's in front of my face!" _

"_Well maybe if you weren't such a prat, we wouldn't be in this mess!" Merlin snapped flinching away quickly as a salamander went to bite him. _

_It was Arthur's fault anyway. He was the one that went into their cave and killed the queen, not knowing that an army of salamanders waited patiently in the dark to attack anyone who dared enter. The only reason Arthur had managed to escape was because Merlin had collapsed the entrance, but the rocks quickly melted away due to the concentrated heat of the salamanders, freeing themselves from the darkened tomb and into daylight. _

"_How dare you speak to me like that!" Arthur replied, thrusting his sword at one of the salamanders, its agonizing cry filling the air as its fire went out and slowly turned to ash, only for two more to arise and grow exponentially before their eyes. _

"_Forgive me, sire," Merlin mocked, pressing his back against Arthur's as they began rotating in circles, glancing out into the sea of fire. "I don't know what came over me. Wait, of course I do! Because of you, we're trapped with no hope of getting out unless..."_

"_Unless what?" Arthur snapped, plunging his sword down one of the salamander's throats. _

_Merlin knew it was the only way, if not then they'd both die and Arthur's destiny with it. It was one of those brief moments that you can't help but feel the world is entirely on your shoulders, which, for Merlin, had started to become a daily basis._

"_Arthur," Merlin took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he quickly incarnated a spell over some Salamanders Arthur couldn't see. "Do you trust me?"_

"_What sort of question is-"_

"_Arthur," Merlin repeated with a stern voice. "Do you trust me?"_

_For a few moments, Arthur didn't reply, instead he continued waving his sword about at the salamanders, killing them off, only for them to spawn from the ashes. _

"_Yes," Arthur spoke finally, their eyes meeting briefly. _

_It's funny how the last moments of your life make you see things clearer than ever before. Not once had Merlin noticed how beautiful Arthur's blue eyes were, and how his hair shimmered in the light, or fire, like golden thread. _

_For the first time in his entire life, Merlin knew what he wanted and took the final chance he'd ever get and leaned forward, gently pressing his lips against a stunned Arthur's. The prince didn't move away from the kiss, nor did he attempt to further it. In the end, though, Merlin pulled away and turned towards the salamanders. _

_Glancing towards the sky, Merlin's eyes blazed gold and suddenly the red sky began turning dark. Storm clouds appeared from nowhere, the dark matter swirling until fierce droplets of rain surged down from the heavens, and onto everything around them, including the Salamanders. _

_Merlin could feel Arthur staring at him in horror as his eyes continued to radiate gold. Already he could feel his magic draining away, weakening him by the second as his body paralysed itself underneath him. The rain got heavier, extinguishing all the Salamanders fire until there was nothing around them but ash. Only then did Merlin speak up. _

"_Don't just stand there!" Merlin said somewhere between tears and rage. "Run!"_

_And that's exactly what Arthur did. Within seconds Arthur had already dashed through the ashes and was now running towards the open gates of Camelot._

_As the last speck of gold left Merlin's eyes, the rain eased to a halt, sunlight passing through the clouds as they disappeared into nothingness. _

_He tried to run, but Merlin didn't have enough energy in him to move as salamanders slowly rose up from the ashes in their hundreds, all converging onto Merlin. _

_Closing his eyes for the final time, all he could do was pray that he'd done the right thing. The heat suddenly got too much for Merlin, his skin began to rapidly burn causing him to howl out in pain as the salamanders began turning his clothes into cinders. The last thing Merlin remembered was his skin boiling as he was slowly reduced to ash. _

Merlin woke up panting, his entire body covered in sweat as the alarm clock his mother had given him for his birthday went off. The irritating ringing noise penetrating his ears until his fist slammed down upon the button on top of the annoying device, switching it off instantly.

"Monday," Merlin groaned after looking over at the calendar. "I hate Mondays."

Sitting up off his bed, Merlin began rubbing his hands over his face as he recalled the nightmare he'd just had. Lately they seemed to be getting worse, and not just a tiny bit, but with each passing day they'd been getting more intense, and this so far had been the worst.

Grabbing a fresh shirt and a pair of jeans, Merlin walked out of his room and towards the bathroom, stripping himself of his boxer shorts before hopping into the shower.

Washing his hair with shampoo and conditioner, and rubbing soap over his entire body until he deemed himself clean, Merlin rinsed himself and turned off the taps and sluggishly removed himself from the shower, feeling slightly more awake than he had been beforehand.

Drying himself off with a towel, he pulled on all of his clothes and made his way downstairs to where his mother was already cooking breakfast. Many people found it quite strange that Merlin still lived with his mother, given his age of twenty-one. Especially since most of his friends had already moved in with someone else, or were currently sharing an apartment with someone else.

On many occasions Morgana had insisted that he should find someone, to fall in love, but love was just something Merlin didn't see any point in. It was just another one of those pointless human emotions that heartbreak and devastation lie in the wake of, so Merlin found it better to stay well clear of it.

Currently he had finished school, and was doing a degree in medieval studies at a nearby university while, at the same time, working as a tour guide at the local museum in Ealdor. It wasn't that big, and he didn't get paid much, but just being able to walk through the exhibits seemed to calm Merlin more than anything else.

"Have you taken your meds?" Hunith asked, sliding a plate of pancakes dribbled with honey in front of him as Merlin sat down at the table.

"Not yet," Merlin replied, and began shovelling the pancakes into his mouth as the hunger finally set in.

Merlin suffered from depression, it wasn't just normal depression, but _major _depression, the kind that almost makes you jump off the highest building around so you no longer have to live through a pointless life. But through some psychiatric help from Gaius, who happened to be a family friend, he was able to convince Merlin that it wasn't worth killing himself. That was two years ago, and since then he hadn't tried again.

Pouring himself a glass of orange juice, Merlin took the pills of his mother and placed them into his mouth, using the juice to help wash away the metallic taste they always left behind.

Running his plate in the sink, Merlin dashed upstairs and grabbed his red neckerchief and the bag he kept all his notebooks in for university. Tying the neckerchief up at the back of his neck, he made his way down stairs and opened the front door.

"What time will you be back?" Hunith called out over the sound of the running tap.

Merlin shrugged. His classes ran until three in the afternoon, and the museum didn't close until eight and he had already promised to go out for drinks with Morgana...

"About nine o'clock tonight!" Merlin shouted back, shivering slightly from the coolness of the breeze that was creeping inside. "See you later!"

"Bye sweetheart," she said, appearing from around the corner and planting a wet kiss on his left cheek.

Chuckling, Merlin left the house as Hunith closed the door behind him and he began walking towards the bus stop that departed in half an hour to the university.

*

Yep. Merlin definitely hated Mondays. Halfway through one of the lectures, Merlin had found himself falling asleep. He already knew everything the guy was babbling on about. Camelot. Seriously, it was one of the first things that intrigued Merlin in the first place to learn about medieval history, but having to listen to a person tell him what he already knew was just too much.

By the time he'd woken up, the class was long over and Merlin had to quickly rush to catch the next bus to the museum.

Thankfully the bus trip only took five minutes. Rushing down the path Merlin pushed at the front door only to slam into the glass, collapsing onto the ground.

"You would think, by now, that you would realise you have pull this door, not push," Morgana mocked with a light laugh, helping Merlin off the ground.

"I was in a hurry!" Merlin said as an excuse, brushing the dirt off his clothes as they both strode into the museum.

"Really?" Morgana asked with probably a touch more sarcasm than necessary before giving a light laugh. "I couldn't tell."

Merlin let out a laugh before rolling his eyes, disappearing behind the main desk to place his bag in its usual spot. Grabbing his ID badge, he threaded the pin through his shirt until it was secure.

"How come you're here anyway?" Merlin asked, slightly curious to why Morgana had decided to arrive early, especially seeing that he wasn't due to finish work for another six hours at least.

"Can't a girl just come and see her best friend work?" Morgana smiled, fluttering her eyelids innocently, but Merlin wasn't falling for that for a second.

"Nope, now spill," Merlin laughed placing a sign in front of him that read '_tour guides every ten minutes'. _

"Fine," Morgana pouted, examining her nails thoroughly before continuing. "I was hoping that you would be able to assist me in my studies. You don't happen to know anything about astrophysics by chance?" Morgana asked, grabbing a piece of paper out of her pocket that was lined with complex mathematical equations that went right over Merlin's head.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't," Merlin admitted, feeling slightly guilty that he couldn't help her, but shrugged it off as a woman and two children came over for a tour of the museum, followed by an old couple and a couple of other people.

"In that case, I guess I'll just have to wait here until you're finished then," Morgana sighed, grabbing her glasses out of her bag and putting them on her face.

She was very intimidating when she wore them, apparently it made her look sexy for the boys, and even Merlin had to admit she pulled sexy off quite nicely, well the guys seemed to think so anyway. Merlin on the other hand wasn't able to attract guys like she could, not that he was jealous of Morgana at all. Although, in some ways he wished that someone like Arthur from his dreams would appear out of nowhere and sweep him away to some far away land.

Yeah, right, as if that would ever happen.

"If you would be kind enough to follow me I shall commence the tour," Merlin announced with a smug look printed across his face. At least there were some things he was better at than others. He knew this entire museum off by heart, not one exhibit or inch of this place had been unseen by Merlin Emrys.

Walking through the museum, Merlin explained all about their Egyptian exhibit, especially all about the mummification procedure. All the way down to the part where they stuck a hot iron rod up your nose to turn your brain mush, so they could pull it out of your nose will an iron hook. That always got people squirming, and Merlin couldn't help but chuckle slightly as one of the children didn't understand what he was talking about, and decided to ask his mother.

"I'll explain later," which was obviously a lie, as she was already turning a light green colour.

Eventually Merlin lead the group to the alchemy part of the museum, filled with devices and information from people such as Zosimu; the alchemist who believe everything was made up of the four elements earth, wind, fire and water and other alchemists such as Geber, Isaac Newton and Paracelsus.

Moving on through the exhibits, Merlin came to the very last one; a stone tablet with medieval ruins on it, which had been found under no more than ten meters of dirt on the very outskirts of Ealdor.

"This stone tablet is the only known medieval artefact with inscription on it found in the local area. Would you all like to know what it says?" Merlin grinned as the two children jumped up and down.

"We do!" the chanted together.

_Sphere's of the gods from the heavens above,  
Align with the power, wisdom and knowledge of one.  
Time passes with every bell that tolls,  
As the final seconds of life unfold.  
Past, present and future all dismiss,  
That one day a second chance will again emit.  
Through the ages of old and into the new,  
The day shall dawn close as the gods draw a straight line known to few.  
Destiny cannot be stopped, nor halted,  
Nor time as it will always come back for you.  
You cannot escape from your destiny.  
It is a part of you._

"What does it mean?" Morgana asked from the back of the small crowd.

"To be honest, nobody really knows," Merlin admitted with a shrug of his shoulders. "That marks the end of our tour, if you have any questions or inquiries, feel free to ask me or someone at the reception desk. Don't forget to check out our gift shop on the way out."

For the next six hours, Merlin repeated the same act over and over again until it was time to leave. Morgana had gotten bored after the twentieth time around, and ended up spending the rest of her time in the small cafe where she worked on her astrophysics.

"Done?" Merlin asked, placing his nametag back in the container at the desk, grabbing his bag and flinging it over his shoulder.

"I've been done for the last hour," Morgana sighed, grabbing her stuff and shoving it into her bag, placing the strap around her shoulder.

"Sorry about that," Merlin apologized with a smirk which meant he wasn't really sorry.

"Uh huh," Morgana laughed, placing her hand around Merlin's shoulder as they walked out of the museum and towards the closest pub they could find.

"What can I get you?" the barmaid asked, opening up her small notebook.

"Two beers thanks," Morgana smiled, and the barmaid wrote it down and walked away. A few minutes later she returned with their beers, the froth at least an inch thick on the top.

"Enjoy," she said and disappeared into the late night crowd.

"So," Morgana started, taking a sip from her beverage, almost waiting for Merlin to start the conversation. "How are the nightmares lately?"

"Great," Merlin replied sarcastically at her bluntness. "They're filled with unicorns and rainbows. Oh, and leprechauns. Although, I must admit those guys are little pests, always stealing my luck-"

Morgana, who had poured half of her drink on his lap, cut Merlin's ramblings short. "Liar," she muttered, drinking the remainder of her drink.

"What was that for?!" Merlin sulked as he could already feel the liquid absorbing into his underwear, which wasn't pleasant in the slightest.

"I know when you're lying," she mused, unphased by Merlin who was now wiping his jeans down with the pile of napkins that were on the table.

"Fine," Merlin said, giving up wiping his jeans down, it wasn't making much difference anyway. "They're bad, worse in fact."

"And are you still dreaming of a certain blonde prince charming?" Morgana sung, causing Merlin to lower into his seat before sculling down the rest of his beer, which was probably not a good idea as alcohol and Merlin didn't mix quite well, in the sense that he's off his head after one drink.

"Shut up," Merlin replied with a tone of annoyance. "If you're going to mock me about my dreams at least do it somewhere private otherwise not at all. And anyway," he continued feeling in the mood for an argument. "He doesn't even exist, so just lay off it, okay?"

"Gesh, talk about touchy," Morgana said raising her hands in surrender. "Remind me not to bring the subject up again."

"I won't need too," Merlin replied, staring out the window next to him.

"And why's that?" Morgana queered.

"Because you're not _going_ to bring it up again," Merlin finalized, knowing it was a bad idea quarrelling with Morgana. The last time he'd done that, the red mark across his face from where she'd slapped him lasted for over a week.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry," she sighed, tapping on her glass with her fingernail until Merlin found it annoying and stood up.

"Same," Merlin replied, a forced smile playing across his lips. "Anyway, I better go otherwise mum's going to be angry. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, see you Merlin," Morgana farewelled, embracing Merlin for a quick hug as they left the pub, separating in different directions.

Walking at night wasn't the really something Merlin enjoyed doing, for some reason he felt open, exposed, and the strange noises coming from the trees and bushes around him certainly weren't helping.

Turning around the a few corners and walking anxiously down a few streets, Merlin finally saw his house in the distance. Speeding up his pace, he couldn't help but notice as the animalistic noises got louder as the wind seemed to pick up, almost blowing Merlin's neckerchief off.

And that's when he saw him. Only for a brief moment; a blonde man, most likely the same age as Merlin, wearing chainmail and gripping tightly onto a sword. Their eyes met briefly, and instantly Merlin recognised him.

"Arthur?" Merlin said, rubbing his eyes slightly. Clearly he had drunk that beer way to fast, as he was suddenly feeling lightheaded and his vision was losing focus.

But when he opened his eyes again, Arthur had vanished from where he stood. Looking at the grass, it was perfectly fine, no trod marks to say that anyone had once stood there recently.

"Going insane now," Merlin remarked to himself, pushing what he'd just seen to the back of his mind, quickly pacing himself down the street towards his house. Opening the front door with his key, Merlin closed it behind him, resting his back against the door, breathing slightly uneven.

"Is that you, dear?" Hunith called out from the living room.

"Yes, mum. It's me," Merlin replied, trying to figure out why he'd just run away from nothing.

Slightly amused at himself, Merlin walked upstairs and quickly removed his wet trousers and underwear, putting on a lightweight top and a pair of boxers as he lay down upon his bed.

Closing his eyes reluctantly, he allowed himself to fall victim to the nightmares yet again, not realising that a blonde figure materialised outside the front of his house again, only to be engulfed by darkness, almost as if he was never there.

_To be continued..._

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**A/N: **_So what do you guys think, should I continue? If you think so, then a review is appreciated, otherwise I won't both writing another chapter as I have an original fiction I wish to write that's been bugging me for ages. Until then, I have homework to do. Yay. _


	2. Fabrications of the Mind

**Disclaimer: **_If I owned Merlin, I'm fairly sure all of you would know and slash fans around the world would unite. _

**A/N: **_I give in, you all win! Here's the next chapter, and I hope it keeps up to the standard you're expecting. If not, then I am terribley sorry to dissapoint you. **Warning!** Just to let you guys know, this chapter contains what I have called "Phantom Smut", which is entirely my own creation, so no stealing people! It isn't graphic, I should hope, so I hope you like this chapter as much as the first. Reviews are always loved. Enjoy._

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When Merlin awoke from his slumber and grasped his head in agony as he was quickly taken aback by the most colossal hangover, blood pounding away in his ears like the repetitive beat of an African drum beat.

Dragging himself sluggishly out of bed, Merlin managed to find his way to the bathroom, splashing icy cold water across his face. Turning off the tap, the final droplets of water hit the bottom of the basin, Merlin found his gaze shifting into the bathroom mirror.

Even with the hangover screwing with his mind, Merlin hated his body; it made him self-conscious. Removing his nightshirt and chucking it on the floor, he began tracing his ribcage with his fingers, the bones sticking out at awkward and unnatural angles. Then there were his hips, their jagged outline almost could be classified as a potential weapon on a bad day.

His entire body in general was just too horrific, that Merlin couldn't help but hate himself for it. No wonder girls, let alone guys, found him the least bit attractive, and he couldn't blame them either.

Trying to feel more positive about himself for the time being, Merlin picked up his nightshirt from the ground and walked back to his bedroom, randomly selecting the clothes he was going to wear for the day. In the end he found himself wearing a fresh pair of navy blue jeans, a white shirt and his red neckerchief tied up at the back of his neck.

Once he was certain that he had everything, Merlin grabbed his bag and hurried downstairs. Thankfully there weren't any classes on, but unfortunately there was no rest for the dark haired boy, as some higher being had made him promise to do the shopping.

"Do I have too?" Merlin complained as he walked into the kitchen. Opening up the medication cabinet, Merlin fumbled through the bottles and strips of drugs that lined the shelves, eventually pulling out his anti-depressants and a painkiller for the hangover.

"Merlin," Hunith said whilst crossing her arms. "You promised me weeks ago, and unless you want to be eating spinach and cheese for the rest of your life..."

"Okay, okay," Merlin interrupted, cringing at the thought of having to eat anything green for eternity. "I'll do it."

"That's a good boy," Hunith said with a grin, stroking Merlin's head before kissing him on the cheek. "Here's the list," she continued, passing him an incredibly long list that made Merlin's head hurt even more.

"But this has at least one hundred items on it!" Merlin's vision began to go blurry just by staring at the list.

"One hundred and thirty-three now to be precise," Hunith corrected, grabbing the list out of his hands, and taking a pen to it, writing down something else. "I forgot to add flour."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Merlin folded the list up, shoved it into his pocket and grabbed the car keys from the kitchen table.

"I'll be back later," Merlin walked out of the house, closing the front door behind him as he pressed the automatic button to open the jeep.

The jeep, itself, wasn't new in the slightest; half of the blue paint had been washed away, revealing the rusted metal beneath and there was a large indent in the side from where another car had ploughed into while it was parked. Fortunately no one was inside the jeep at the time.

Before long, Merlin was stalking the shopping isles with a trolley, hopelessly trying to find the cooking oil with not much luck.

"Well, look what we have here boys," an all too familiar voice came from behind him.

"Piss off Will," Merlin snapped, not even bothering to turn around and face his childhood friend who'd betrayed him, just because Merlin wasn't 'cool' enough.

"Or what?" Will replied, gripping tightly on Merlin's shoulder, spinning him around and violently pushing his back into the aisle shelf.

He wasn't surprised in the least to see Valiant and Lancelot standing to the side, chuckling hysterically as Merlin tried to release himself from Will's grasp.

"Just leave me alone!" Gathering up all his strength, Merlin kneed Will in his manhood. The cry that came with it was painful to hear, but pleasurable to know that Merlin had made his point crystal clear.

"Oh no you don't," Lancelot grinned, as both he and Valiant grabbed one of Merlin's arms with a death lock, preventing him from getting away.

Trapped and helpless, Merlin looked around, his eyes pleading for assistance from anyone nearby, but no one came. Occasionally people would glance down the aisle to see what the commotion was about, however not once did they bother helping.

"You shouldn't have done that," Will scorned, one hand outstretched and turning into a fist, the other protecting his crutch - most likely so Merlin couldn't do anymore damage to his pride and joy.

"You're absolutely right," Merlin replied, not holding back his sarcasm. "Next time I'll just stand there, waiting for you to hurt me, because we all know poor little Merlin can't defend himself."

"Good idea," and with that, Will drove a fist right into Merlin's stomach, knocking the wind straight out of him in one go.

And then he did it again and again, harder and harder each time until Merlin no longer had the strength to stand up.

"Not so tough now, are you?" Will spat, kicking Merlin in the stomach with one almighty blow, a thin stream of blood trickling out the corner of his mouth and onto the floor beneath him.

Just when things couldn't possibly get any worse, Merlin's eyeballs started burning intensely in their sockets until they felt like someone had taken a match to them.

Will stopped kicking, much to Merlin's relief, but Lancelot and Valiant had also both stopped laughing and were staring down at him, heads titled slightly as they moved away in bewilderment and horror.

"What the..." Valiant muttered under his breath, stumbling backwards into display stand.

Without forewarning, he could no longer see a thing except for a magnificent golden light that filled him with a sense of refuge, a place where no one could touch him.

As the light disappeared, Merlin shook his head wildly bringing his vision back into focus to the spectacle of Valiant, Lancelot and Will all running away screaming, completely naked down the aisle and out of the front doors of the shop, their clothes nowhere in sight.

Merlin didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but as he tried to stand up, crying seemed like the best option and he collapsed back onto the floor in weakness.

"Are you going to sit there all day, or are you going to take my hand and get up?" said a voice in front of him, it was stern and the tone recognisable, but Merlin had no idea from where. Although, whoever this was, obviously they didn't realise he was in severe pain and unable to get up.

"You arse!" Merlin cried, straining his neck in attempt to see who he was talking too. Unfortunately he couldn't see anyone; obviously they were to his side or behind him. "Maybe if you weren't blind, you might notice that I can't. Although, I thank you and everyone else in this store for helping me when I needed it," he was yelling by this point, and funnily enough he could hear people chatting all around him.

"Typical," the person muttered before Merlin felt a pair of warm hands grasp around his waist, slowly raising him off the ground with ease until he stood upright, leaning against the trolley that had rolled over towards him. "You really are the most pathetic person I've ever had the chance to meet."

"Prat," Merlin said, all his weight pressed up against the trolley as he began feeling extremely dizzy and as if he could throw up any moment now.

"Sounds familiar," the person replied vaguely with a slight chuckle.

As a discreet smile crawled across Merlin's face as he stared at the ground and he decided to take a glimpse of the person who had decided to help him.

Raising his head off the trolley, Merlin looked to his left only to see the aisle wall, but when he looked to his right, his vision blurred. He was, however, able to make the faint outline of a rather broad looking guy with blonde hair, though his face was completely distorted and hazy making it impossible for Merlin to see who it was.

Glancing back at the ground, the nausea finally hit him like a tidal wave, sick going all over the ground causing Merlin to misplace his balance and his legs to give way.

As his head collided with the surface of the floor, Merlin began to feel himself losing all sense of time and place, eyelids sliding closed as he was enveloped in darkness.

"Oh no you don't, Merlin!" the voice stated before Merlin felt the familiar pair of hands, one brushing up against his face, the other stroking through his hair. "I've lost you once, never again."

Merlin never got the chance to ask what he meant by that as he had already fallen unconscious.

*

When Merlin woke up, he found himself occupying a very uncomfortable hospital bed with Hunith and Morgana sitting down in seats on the other side of the small room.

"Merlin!" Morgana shrieked as soon as she saw Merlin awake. "You scared us to death!"

"Sorry," Merlin apologized, pushing himself up until he was sitting. "I promise never to do it again."

Hunith stood directly next to the bed, placing her hand on Merlin's, gripping it tightly almost as if she never wanted to let him out of her sight again.

"This is entirely my fault," Hunith muttered softly, a tear streaming down her face.

"No it's not," Merlin countered, reaching over to wipe the tear off his mothers face.

Out of nowhere, Morgana slammed her fist down onto the hospital bed. "I can't believe that someone would do this," she stated before looking Merlin directly in the eyes, her anger clearly visible. "Who did this? I want names and I want them now, the last thing I'm going to do is let some bastard get away with what he did to you."

"It was Will and his friends..." Merlin answered after a few seconds thought, trying to recall what had occurred in the shopping centre. "Do either of you know what happened to the guy that helped me?"

Hunith and Morgana exchanged confused looks.

"What do you mean, sweetie?" Hunith asked, placing a hand on Merlin's forehead.

"At the shopping centre, some guy tried to help me, but I never got his name," Merlin answered, curious to as why they had no idea what he was going on about.

The silence was unnerving for Merlin, especially when his mother decided to sit up on the bed, stroking his hair gently.

"Merlin... there was no man," Hunith said causing his mouth to gape open a little. "From what I was told, one of the female shopping assistants came over to help, but you had already passed out. Nobody saw a man darling."

"But that's impossible!" Merlin blurted out without realising.

"Ssh," Hunith hushed, placing a finger to Merlin's lips. "You've had a traumatic day and not are thinking clearly. Now, you stay here while I go get the Doctor and see if you can go home."

Gently kissing his forehead, Hunith left the room to go find the Doctor.

"But there _was_ a man," Merlin felt the need to continue, he couldn't have been imagining the blonde that helped him, it just wasn't possible!

"I can't believe Will did this..." Morgana paced back and forth, eyes ablaze with anger, ignoring Merlin completely.

Merlin rolled his eyes and sunk back down into the bed as Morgana persisted on muttering under her breath, more so when she began contemplating ways to murder Will without leaving and forensic evidence that would lead back to her.

Morgana and Will had never gotten on, right from the start. Especially after Will dumped her for the blonde bimbo, Vivian, just because she offered him... certain extras, much like take away food – without the take away – that Morgana wasn't quite ready for yet.

That was another thing Merlin didn't understand, did he really see Will, Valiant and Lancelot run away naked? For a brief moment, he was tempted to tell Morgana everything that had happened, but thought twice as the entire incident would just make him sound like a mental nutcase saying it aloud.

"The Doctor has given me permission to take you home," Hunith said, walking into the room looking happier than she did before, although Merlin was still waiting for the catch. "However," Merlin groaned, "You have to stay in bed for at least another day, and that is not negotiable. Do you understand?"

"But-"

"Merlin?" Hunith cut him off, folding her arms over her chest.

"Fine," Merlin pouted, easing himself off the bed while Morgana grabbed a wheelchair from the far corner of the room for him to sit in.

Trying to enjoy the wheelchair ride as much as possible, Merlin couldn't help but feel sorry for all the ill patients who were roaming throughout the hospital, nurse's close by their sides as they directed them to their rooms.

A child, no more than twelve years old, had begun coughing up blood as he passed, nurses quickly rushing to his side to help the boy as they sat him down on a chair.

"This place gives me the creeps," Morgana shivered, pushing Merlin through the main doors that led outside of the ward.

Five minutes later they were outside the hospital and helping him into the jeep. Funnily enough, Merlin didn't feel the slightest twinge of pain, but more of a numbing and pleasurable sensation from where he'd been punched. Obviously the Doctor had given him something to relieve the pain whilst he was unconscious; Merlin was very happy about this.

Once Morgana had returned the wheelchair to the hospital reception, Hunith drove Morgana home as it was already way past dark, the streetlamps illuminating the narrow streets.

Morgana said goodbye and they drove back home where Merlin eventually made his way upstairs into his cosy bed. Even though he'd been unconscious for a majority of the day, Merlin found himself instantly tired as soon as his head rested against the pillow, while Hunith tucked him in.

"I'll ring the university tomorrow and let them know you're not coming in," she whispered, laying a kiss gently on Merlin's forehead as she got up to leave.

"Thanks," Merlin forced a smile across his lips. "And mum," he continued as Hunith turned to leave the room and switch off the light. "Don't blame yourself for what happened today, it's not your fault, it's mine."

"Goodnight Merlin," Hunith said, not bothering to look at her son as she turned off the light and closed the door behind her, leaving Merlin in a blanket of darkness that stretched from one corner of the room to the other.

Burying his head into the pillow, he closed his eyes, while the wind howled outside rattling the windowpanes constantly.

As the wind calmed, Merlin put his mind to rest on everything that had happened during the day, wondering what the future would bring.

Feeling a cool breeze drift through the room from underneath the bedroom door, Merlin snuggled into the blanket to warm himself up. It was only then that he felt something familiar touch his cheek, like fingers warming his flesh as they travelled across his skin, eventually stopping at his lips, hot gasps of air blowing down upon his face.

His body stiffened as the warmth disappeared, and Merlin refused to open his eyes in fear that whatever it was in the room, might attack him or eat him, or even a combination of both, _or_...

Merlin gasped as what felt like lips pressed up against his and a hand moved down underneath the blanket, slowly trailing down his naval and down under his satin boxers where it began caressing Merlin in a way that caused him to groan against the hard lips above him.

Knowing that this was completely wrong, Merlin couldn't help but reach out and began fondling with whoever it was touching him, breathing in the musky scent as he deepened the kiss. His hands wandering under the other person's shirt and up their back, every muscle distinct and Merlin made effort to remember every one of them.

By this point all his covers had been pushed off the bed, along with his boxers, as the hand wrapped tightly around his member got faster until Merlin came, moaning in the others mouth.

Pulling away and gasping for air, he finally managed to open his eyes to see who it was that had just given him the closest thing he'd had to sex in his life.

With the little light available from the street lights outside, Merlin shuffled backwards in the bed as he stared out into the empty room. The only soul to be seen was a tiny green stuffed dragon on top of his cupboard; it's tiny black eyes glistening in the darkness.

Frightened, Merlin quickly cleaned himself up and reached down to grab the covers off the floor. Tossing them completely over himself, Merlin squeezed his eyes tight and blocked out the noise of the windowpanes as they began rattling once more.

_To be continued..._

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**A/N: **_So, did I live up to your standards? Sorry if it's dragging out a bit, but this should be the last chapter of backstory, if not, then the next one will be for certain. "Phantom Smut" copyright redpanda14. *manical laughter* Anyway, if you liked it, reviews are always loved. Merry Christmas to everyone! I hope you got what you wanted, I know I did. =)_


	3. Logical Explanations

**Disclaimer: **_I own the BBC Merlin Series 1 Boxset, and the plot for this story, but I do not own Merlin itself... Even though I dream each night that, one day, I will. _

**A/N: A/N:** To whom it may all concern - which is all of you, but to be kind and make it sound much more professional, I'll start off my lecture like this. With that first sentence in mind, I shall begin and lt out my frustrations. Occasionally some of you, and I don't mean all of you, let alone any of you, I get reviews saying, and I'll use 'Wileret's' review as an example (Don't take it the wrong way either! It was a lovely review, besides from this annoying part) "Girl, I give you the highest mark because this ROCKs so much!" Now, if you look at the first word, you shall see this four letter word that reads 'girl', which funnily enough, happens to be exactly what I'm not. Is the message getting through now people? If so, then good, if not, then seriously! Did you people honeslty think everyone who wrote slash on fanfiction happened to be girls? *sigh* Anyway, I'm sorry that I didn't update sooner, but I've been really sick, and is currently suffering from really personal medical problems... and this may be the last time I get to update for the next month, as I'm going away to Amercia on January 5th - 24th. So I apologize for that in advance and wanring, just in case you think I've abadoned this fic. Anyway, read, enjoy, review, lots of love all round!

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Bored was probably the best word to describe how Merlin felt right this very instant. After being cooped up in his bed all morning, he was progressively losing his grasp on sanity, to the point where he needed to get out and do something before he lost his mind completely.

Throwing on whatever clothes he could find, Merlin found his way downstairs to find something to entertain himself with.

After last night's events, Merlin had deduced that what had happened was just his self conscious's way of dealing with being punched up by Will and his gang. It was the only _logical_ explanation, and that's what he was going to keep telling himself.

"And what do you think you're doing out of bed?" Hunith asked raising an eyebrow as Merlin sat down on the living room sofa.

"I'm losing my mind up there!" Merlin replied, rubbing his eyes with his hands. "If I have to spend one more minute in that room staring at the ceiling, I'm afraid I may just lose my mind and go on a psychological killing spree with a blunt sword."

Hunith gave a dry chuckle before walking over towards him, patting his arm sympathetically, "Keep telling yourself that, darling."

Rolling his eyes, Merlin leaned forward and grabbed the television remote and began flicking through the channels, eventually stopping once he found one of his favourite all time comedies, "Are You Being Served?"

It was a repeat, but Merlin didn't mind as the show always brought a smile to his face – not to mention hysterical giggle fits which usually took a solid ten minutes to calm down from.

'_If a man rings up with a Scottish accent, you're the cleaner and you've never heard of me,' _Mr. Humphreys warned his mother on the gent's readymade department telephone._ 'No, I don't owe him any money... I don't owe him anything. What do you mean there's someone coming up the garden path in a kilt? Well, look, lock the door and hide in the cupboard. I'll phone you before I leave here. Whatever you do, don't open the door unless it's a young policeman carrying a rolled umbrella. And if I can borrow a helmet from the toy department, that'll be me.'_

Once the episode finished, Merlin began flicking through the channels hopelessly for anything to watch but without much luck. Besides from the discovery channel discussing something about a planet phenomenon that only occurs once every one-hundred and eighty trillion years, and a documentary on fish paste, there was nothing else on.

Groaning with annoyance and frustration, Merlin turned the TV off and began picking at the seams of the couch – because really, there was nothing else to do.

Much to Merlin's relief, his boredom was cut short by someone knocking at the door.

"I brought you your homework," Morgana said with a pile of books in her hands.

"Oh Morgana, you shouldn't have," Merlin replied dryly, not bothering to hold back his sarcasm as he grabbed the books out of her hands and closing the door behind her.

"It's okay, I don't mind," she grinned before collapsing onto the couch in one swift and dramatic motion.

Rolling his eyes with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, Merlin sat down on the couch next to her and began picking at the seams once more before speaking.

"You didn't have to come down and check on me, you know?" Merlin said, glancing at the pile of books wondering how the hell he was going to manage to read through all of them in time.

"Don't be stupid, Merlin," Morgana snapped, gently bumping him in the side causing him to wince in pain slightly. "If you honestly believe I'm going to stand around waiting for my best friend to feel better, then you have another thing coming for you."

"Thanks Morgana," Merlin smiled briefly, then started rubbing at his side.

"How are you feeling anyway?" Morgana asked followed by a loud yawn, stretching on the couch in an unladylike manner.

Merlin couldn't help but raise a quizzical eyebrow at her question, "Besides from the excessive bruising, the swelling and the agonising pain I get every time I move?"

"If the pain's that bad then why don't you take some painkillers?" Morgana asked, examining her nails thoroughly.

"Believe me, I would. But we're out of anything that doesn't have codeine in it," Merlin complained. It was typical, just when he required some much needed pain relief, the damn codeine free painkillers that he took, every now and again, ran out.

"You and your allergies," Morgana replied, giggling o herself.

"I can't help it if I'm allergic to codeine!" Merlin retorted loudly, enough so that Hunith appeared from the laundry most likely, into the living room.

"Sweetie, you're allergic to everything," Hunith declared, a smirk forming across her face which eventually turned into a laughing fit where Morgana joined in gleefully, whilst Merlin sat there with his arms crossed.

"I am not," Merlin muttered under his breath.

"Liar," Morgana said, wiping away a tear that had formed in the corner of her eye. "Remember that time you told me that you were allergic to oranges-"

"Or that time when you were five years old and you told me you were allergic to your invisible hamster," Hunith continued, bending over the couch and gently tugging at Merlin's cheek between her index finger and thumb.

"No way!" Morgana exclaimed, making Merlin all of a sudden wish he was back in his room.

"Yes way, and then there was this other time-"

"Okay, I get the point!" Merlin cut in, praying that their tormenting him would stop right about now.

"Good," Hunith said, kissing Merlin on the forehead right before the doorbell rang once more. "Now, you two stay here while I go get that, and afterwards we can all have a nice cup of tea."

Once Hunith left the room to answer the door, Merlin grabbed one of the books that Morgana had so kindly brought over for him, and began skimming through the pages.

"I can't be bothered reading this," Merlin stated, throwing the book across the room in frustration.

All of a sudden Merlin could hear shouting coming from a male at the front door, followed by his mother whose voice equalled the males.

"...Now get out of my way madam," the voice demanded, and instantly Merlin found himself in the same room with two policemen, a male and female, with Hunith standing behind them clearly unimpressed and upset.

"Merlin Emrys?" one of the policemen addressed, stepping forward until he was standing directly in front of him.

"Yes..." Merlin answered, suddenly finding himself panicking and at a loss for breath.

"I'd like you to come with us down to the station, we have some questions we'd like to ask you," the policeman said, glancing at both Hunith and Morgana who were both staring in disbelief.

"What sort of_ questions_," Morgana snarled, walking up so she was directly next to Merlin.

"_That_, miss, is none of your business," the male policeman snapped before walking over and grabbing Merlin tightly on the shoulder. "Now, if you'll be kind enough to follow us, our chief is waiting for you."

Before Merlin knew what was going on, each of the policemen gripped one of his shoulders and began directing him out of the house and towards their vehicle.

"I'm coming with you," Hunith said, grabbing her coat off the rack.

"You are to stay here, madam," the female policemen stated, literally shoving Merlin into the back segment of the car, suddenly making him feel very confined and claustrophobic, and _very_ scared.

"But he's my son!" Hunith raised her voice and walked straight up to the window of the police car where Merlin was sitting.

"He may indeed be your son, but we have obligations, and right now we've been ordered to take your son, and only your son, directly to our chief," the male policeman said, hopping into the driver's seat and closing the door behind him.

Winding the window down, Merlin forced a smile onto his face as he reached out and gripped his mother's hand, while Morgana stood on the lawn fuming.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine, seriously," Merlin assured her with a comforting smile.

"We'll call you later and explain what's happening after our chief is through with your son," the female said, closing the door behind her as the male policeman turned the key on in the ignition, the engine roaring into life as he pressed his foot on the accelerator.

As the police car jolted forward, Merlin stared out the window towards Morgana and his mother as they walked towards the front door of the house. It was around about now that Merlin closed his eyes and tried to relax and tell himself that everything would be okay. Oh how wrong he was.

*

It was one thing to sit down at a table and be asked questions, but it was another thing entirely to be interrogated by Ealdor's man of authority, Uther.

Ever since Uther had taken up the occupation of police chief, Merlin had to admit Ealdor had become a much better place to live in for everyone. However, watching Uther keep the streets clean of drug traffickers, prostitutes and criminals was much more pleasant that being face-to-face with the man himself, locked inside a small interrogation room.

"You are pushing my patience, young man!" Uther snarled, pacing around the seat where Merlin sat anxiously, almost cringing at the sound of the chief's voice.

"But I've already told you everything that happened," Merlin replied in a soft whisper, too afraid to speak any louder.

"Is that so?" he mocked, folding his arms over his chest as he sat down on the table directly in front of Merlin, Uther's stale breath, filling the room, threatening to choke him. "I guess we'll just have to go over everything once more then, I suppose. And no funny business this time," Uther warned, penetrating Merlin with an invisible force, almost as if he was trying to look directly into his soul. "The beginning if you may."

Clearing his throat and starting to feel lightheaded, Merlin once again began explaining the events that occurred at the supermarket the day before. He should have known those bastards would make up some form of lie to Uther about what had happened to get their own back on Merlin, especially since Lancelot was Uther's nephew – Which of course, naturally, meant that whatever he said was true, and he could get his own way.

"...And then they ran off," Merlin finished, desperately wanting to leave the interrogation room.

"So what you're telling me," Uther clasped his hands together, "is that you did not provoke Lancelot, Will and Valiant, followed by physically attacking them, nor did you have anything to do with removing each of their clothes and hiding them?"

"Excuse me?" Merlin said awestruck, not believing what he'd just heard.

"You heard me, you little runt," Uther growled. "Lancelot and his friends told me everything that happened, how you attacked them out of nowhere _and_ how that once they were on the ground you undressed them, causing them public embarrassment."

"I did no such thing!" Merlin yelled in disbelief. "They attacked me! I have the bruises to prove it," he quickly lifted up his shirt, revealing the multicoloured patterns of purple and yellowing bruises that covered his skin.

"They could have easily been made when you tried to take their clothes off and they struggled," Uther dismissed, ignoring the bruises completely, almost as if they weren't even there.

"But-"

"Don't you dare interrupt me!" Uther slammed his fist down upon the table, causing it to shake violently and Merlin to stop breathing for a second or two.

"_But_," Merlin pushed on once he regained his composure, "I didn't do anything! _They_ attacked _me_, or are you too blind and stubborn to realise that?"

Merlin swallowed hard once he realised what he had done, and instantly regretted it, sinking further down into the metal chair.

"I will not tolerate being spoken to like this!" Uther grasped Merlin tightly around the wrist and stormed out of the interrogation room and towards the holding cells.

"Let me go, you're hurting me," Merlin cringed, feeling as if that his arm might drop off any moment now.

"Good," Uther answered, grabbing the key off his belt and opening the cell door, throwing Merlin inside and locking it. "Maybe this will give you some time to reflect on your actions, and maybe then you'll tell me what _really_ happened. Only then will I determine your punishment," Uther gave Merlin an icy glare that froze him solid, his body going all ridged.

"Oh course, _my lord_," Merlin mocked, no longer caring what he said, because obviously no matter what he told Uther, there was nothing he could do to make him see the truth. "So I guess I'll just sit here then."

"That's the idea," Uther said before walking out of sight, leaving Merlin alone, cold and locked in a room with a barred window and door.

"Well this is just great," Merlin commented to no one in particular as he examined the cell, thinking of possible ways that he could escape. If only he had a spoon, maybe he could dig his way out! Although... that could possibly take a while, and by the sounds of thing, he would be out of here soon.

Sitting down on the small bed, Merlin buried his face in his hands, "No one ever listens to me."

"What makes you think that?" came a voice from beside him. Merlin jumped and turned his head in the direction of the voice only to come face to face with a blond, wearing chain mail, a red undershirt clearly visible beneath, and a sword secured around his waist with a belt.

"Bu-wh-how did you get there?" Merlin stammered, trying to remember if anyone else was in the cell before he entered.

"You really do ask the most stupid questions, _Mer_lin," the blond rolled his hypnotic blue eyes, that Merlin found himself gazing into intensely, as they seemed to calm him.

"How do you know my name?" Merlin asked, standing up and walking to the opposite corner of the room, deducing that he was hallucinating. There was no way that anyone else had been in the cell when Uther had locked him inside.

"It's kind of a long story," the blond sighed, running his hand through his hair, hair that Merlin wanted to run his own fingers through for no apparent reason. "You don't recognise me?"

"Why? Should I?" Merlin queered, deciding that if this was, in fact, a hallucination, he might as well play along with it.

"Perfect, just perfect," the blond muttered under his breath as Merlin sat down right next to the other man.

"What's your name?" Merlin asked, subconsciously taking note of all his curvatures and defined muscles that were visible.

"Arthur," he replied with a groan, flinging himself around on the bed so he was stretching out, his legs sprung across Merlin's lap.

Minutes past, and neither of them spoke another word. However, occasionally Merlin would catch Arthur's gaze, almost as if the blond was examining him, trying to figure him out, but in the end, this only caused Merlin to blush.

Even Merlin had to admit, even on his insanity scale, this ranked close to the top. Who in their right mind would conjure up a handsome person like Arthur, whom he would never have a chance with in this lifetime or the next, in the middle of a cell?

As another minute passed, Arthur obviously became tired of waiting patiently as he jumped off the bed and began pacing hopelessly around the cell.

"Honestly! Usually I can never get you to shut up, and now I can't even get you to talk," Arthur complained.

"I'm sorry if I'm such a boring conversationalist," Merlin muttered as he stood up and tried to peer through the bars of the cell.

"Wow, that was a big word, even for you," Arthur said, with probably a touch more sarcasm than Merlin would have liked.

"Prat," Merlin retorted.

"Idiot," Arthur countered walking straight up to Merlin and planting a kiss on his lips. "But I love you anyway."

For a moment Merlin didn't know which way to turn; to deepen the kiss and lure Arthur over towards the bed, or start yelling for the guard. It felt so real, nothing like the dreams he'd had, but an actual kiss, which made this one bloody great figment of his imagination.

"Who... Who are you?" Merlin gulped as Arthur eventually pulled away, much to Merlin's confusion and frustration, and began tenderly running his fingers through his hair.

"I already told you, my name's-"

"I don't mean your name," Merlin cut in, suddenly wishing he never spoke up and just went along with his fantasy. "Who_ are_ you?"

"Complicated," was all Arthur said, leaning up against the cell wall.

"Well, I've got all the time in the world," he indicated to the cell. "Enlighten me," Merlin sighed and rested himself on the bed.

"What's going on in there?" a voice echoed from somewhere outside the cell. "Who are you talking to?"

"Crap," Arthur groaned, fumbling under his chain mail revealing a book. "Look after this; you're going to need it."

"What for?" Merlin asked, reluctantly taking the book. It looked old, almost ancient in fact. Merlin unlocked the two metal clasps that kept the pages together, on right hand side, and began flicking through it. The book was filled with strange drawings and words he had never heard of before.

"Just trust me," Arthur declared, and suddenly Merlin found himself nodding his head, wanting to trust his hallucination.

Merlin closed the book and clutched it tightly to his chest as Arthur leapt forward once more and framed Merlin's face in-between his hands before kissing him passionately. Merlin kept eyes shut tight and allowed Arthur's tongue to glide across his bottom lip, as a moan escaped his mouth.

And then suddenly it was over, the feeling was no longer there.

Opening his eyes, Merlin sighed and sat back down on the bed, while at the same time Uther appeared back outside the cell, examining the room.

"Who were you talking to?" Uther grumbled, looking over towards Merlin.

"I didn't know it was against the law to talk to myself," Merlin snapped back, causing Uther to roll his eyes and wander off out of sight.

Taking a deep breath Merlin laid flat on the bed and stared up at the mouldy granite ceiling, only then did Merlin realise that he was still holding the book Arthur had given him… but that wasn't possible! Arthur wasn't real... he couldn't be.

Feeling his body temperature rise, Merlin took his jumper off and quickly wrapped the book in the material. He then forced himself to forget about it until he could come up with a logical explanation about how it had come into his possession.

Unfortunately there was no logical explanation.

_To be continued..._

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**A/N: **_Sorry for the rant at the top, I got a bit carried away, but I wanted to make things crystal clear. Anyway, at last I can develop the plot! Yay! But I'm not sure when I'll update next, so in the meantime, I hope this is okay, reviews are loved. _


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