Supernatural 1. Ch 1 Meeting Castiel

**Warnings** for this chapter: implied rape/self harm

* * *

Castiel Novak was a normal teenager at Kripke High school. Well…as normal as a straight A, socially awkward nerd could be anyway. He kept his head down and tried to not raise attention to himself. The bullies always seemed to find him though, it never went past verbal abuse and slight pushing around but it still hit him deep within…deeper than his own inflicted wounds. But that's another part of this story.

He was the younger of two brothers, Luke who was five years older and Michael being the oldest was 7 years older than Castiel. He was born in Michigan and lived there with his parents until he was 13 years old. Michael had moved to Seattle when Castiel was 11 and Luke had just moved to California the day after his 18th birthday. He missed his brothers terribly but he had his parents so he was happy.

Things were good up until then; his parents had loved him, doted on him until one day everything changed. One single moment and the life he knew was gone…. hatred and never ending darkness took its place. It spiraled out of control and Castiel couldn't remember who he was anymore. There were moments he didn't want to live, that he would be so much better off if he just didn't…. exist.

Then Michael came home for a visit…and saved him. His older brother didn't know everything but he knew Castiel well and his baby brother never flinched when he was being hugged. Somehow Michael just caught on to what was happening, especially when he saw the scars gracing his brother's wrists.

"Cassie…when I go back to Seattle…. why don't you come with me?" Michael had asked as he gently rubbed his thumb along the angry scars. Castiel had sobbed, nodding his head vigorously, clinging onto his brother's shirt. Silently begging Michael to take him away from this place. Michael didn't hesitate, promising Castiel that he would deal with their parents. He could see the confusion and anger written all over Michael's face but he never once tried to pry it out of him. Even on the long drive out of Michigan.

His parents had put up a fight; screaming and throwing things when Michael actually raised his voice back at them. Castiel had hid in his room, cowering in the back of his closet, hugging his knees in close. No matter what though, he knew he was leaving with Michael, his duffel bag packed and ready to go. Michael had snickered when he saw what was inside…. books, music, his laptop…no clothes. His older brother ruffled his hair and promised he would replace anything he had to leave behind.

When it was time to go, Castiel's father grabbed his wrist, yanking him back to his chest. His heart thudded against his ribcage as his father peered down at him with a furious expression.

"You'll never be free of me Castiel," He hissed into his ear. Before he could catch his breath, he was wrenched away from his father's grasp and into Michael's arms.

"Keep your fucking hands off of him you bastard…if I have my way he'll never see you again," Michael growled, keeping Castiel pressed to his side. His heart was still in his throat as he clung to his older brother. His mother gave him a grim smile before disappearing into the house, his father not moving an inch as he glared at his sons getting into the car and finally…driving off.

As the car turned onto the highway, the city limit sign flying past them, Castiel finally let out the breath he had been holding. He put his head against his knees and a sob wrenched out of his throat. A strong hand squeezed his shoulder and instead of fear…he finally felt safe.

That was three years ago…now he was 16, a junior in high school. Things were…ok. He no longer hurt himself; Michael was such an amazing brother, helping him through whatever had happened to him in Michigan. He denied therapy and couldn't tell Michael everything that had happened but he was getting better. The nightmares still came and his anxiety would sky rocket when the assholes throttled him in the hallways out of "fun".

But until he met her…he thought this was all normal, that this was what his life would be. He could cope…. but that changed when she came into his life.


	2. Ch 2 Meeting Lilian

**Warnings**: Self Harm, Abuse

Lilian Mosby was born in Arizona but after her father passed away…or brutally murdered (depending on which family member you talked to), her mother, Katherine, wanted a change of scenery…something other than flat horizons, dirt and scorching heat. The polar opposite being Seattle Washington. The night before her first day at Kripke High school found her sitting in her bay window, watching the infinite rain pool at the sill. She hated this city and its never-ending wetness, she missed Arizona. Her father was buried there and she hated that she couldn't go visit him anymore, even though her mother constantly blamed her for his death.

Lily rolled her eyes at the thought and took in a deep breath, holding it for a moment before slowly releasing it. She had been 10 when the accident happened. Her father was driving them to her school and her being a kid, wanted his attention on something, not understanding the importance of keeping your eyes on the road. Him being a loving and attentive father, looked away to see what his daughter thought was so important when the semi ran the red light. Slamming into her father's side of the car. He died on impact and she suffered a concussion, a broken arm and collarbone. Those injuries managed to heal…her heart, soul, and mind…well…that never healed. Even 6 years later she could still feel the numbness in her heart and the piercing fear when she would wake up screaming from her nightmares.

Her mother and brother didn't help matters at all. Before the accident, her mother had been…better. She had never wanted children, that much was known, but her father had craved to have them, so she relented and tried to be a loving mother. She never abused them, but she was more robotic in her actions. Her older brother Brian was devoted to their mother, acting almost like her slave at times. After the accident, things drastically changed. Her mother still never raised a hand at her but without her father there to reign Katherine in, her hatred for her children was released. Katherine verbally abused her and manipulated Brian.

She'll never forget the first time Brian raised his hand against her. She would never claim a closeness with her brother and always felt he was weak when it came to their mother's commands. After Katherine put it in his head that Lily was a sinner and the cause for their father's death, he felt it was his duty to erase the sin from his little sister. Daily beatings became normal around their home, she rarely ever saw their mother. Katherine left Brian to deal with her.

When they moved to Seattle, Lily prayed that it would be different. It only took one day for her to realize that it would never change, that this would be her life until she was 18. Lily felt a tear escape down her cheek but she was too disgusted with herself to wipe it away. She couldn't be weak…she had to fight and be strong on the outside, when the inside was a crumbling mess. She could never let them see how they were truly destroying her. Her fingers played with her favorite razor, one she kept close by incase of emergencies such as this. Her heart was beating to hard and she was starting to hyperventilate.

"Please God…if you're there. Let school be an escape…let me find at least one person I can connect with," She whispered as the bite against her forearm slowed her breathing.


	3. Ch 3 First Day

Woops….I own NOTHING of supernatural…I just like playing with their characters. But who doesn't?

And, I don't know how school systems work these days…so I'm just following what I did when I was in high school lol.

* * *

Castiel woke up that Monday morning with a groan, his alarm buzzing obnoxiously loud next to his head. His hand reached out and slapped against the damned thing, sending it flying off his nightstand. _Why did summer have to end so early? _ Castiel was far beyond a morning person…if morning could be a person, he would name it Satan.

"Cassie…. you awake buddy?" Michael's voice came through the door. Castiel groaned loudly…his brother was way to freaking chipper in the morning.

"Yes Mikey, I'm awake…can I just skip today? I'm sure they won't miss me!" Castiel whined curling into a ball under the covers. He heard the door open and a soft snicker. The bed dipped next to him and he groaned again when he felt the blankets being tugged at.

"C'mon Cassie…you know I can't let you skip today…cause then you'll just try to skip the rest of the year!" Michael grinned down at him. Castiel glared at him playfully, sighing softly before sitting up. He ran his hand through his unruly hair, pouting when he felt it just stick up even further.

"Let's go baby bro, if you're good and get ready on time I'll make you breakfast," Michael tempted him, poking his side tickling him. Castiel let out a giggle and squirmed away.

"You make me feel like a 12-year-old."

"Yeah well, you'll always be my baby brother…. so come on punk, get up. I'll even give you a ride today, this weekend though, you're getting your license," Michael smiled at him before getting up. Castiel huffed out a laugh before rolling out of bed. He stumbled over to his closet, yanking it open.

"Ugh, I hate first days…" He grumbled. No matter how hard he tried to look cool or normal he was always mocked…it was beyond annoying. The only person he could somewhat talk to was a guy just as socially awkward as he was. Chuck Shurley was a loner and always kept his down in his writing. Castiel was sure he would make it one day…his writing was amazing…well what he could read over his shoulder anyway.

Castiel pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans; a black v-neck shirt and a dark blue button up. His dark blue converse were already by his door…he eyed his trench coat and bit his lip. It was still too warm to wear it.

Once dressed he made his way into the bathroom, the smell of breakfast wafting upstairs. His stomach nearly screamed at him to hurry. He quickly brushed his teeth and made a vain attempt to fix his hair. Making his way back to his room, he grabbed his book bag, shoes and glasses.

"Cassie! Food! Hurry it up bro!" Michael yelled as Castiel came bounding down the stairs making the older brother laugh. Castiel playfully pushed him away, dropping his stuff on the couch. Michael sipped at his coffee as Castiel shoveled the food into his mouth.

"Ok…let's go," Castiel groaned. Michael let out a loud laugh, pointing out that he still was shoeless and had crumbs all over his shirt.

* * *

Lily woke up with her forehead pressed against the windowpane. She rubbed the creak in her neck and stretched her body. She glanced over at the clock and swallowed the bile rising in her throat. Monday…first day of school. She remembered her prayer from the night before and shook her head. It was so naïve to believe in such things…she took one last look at the cloudy sky before hurrying to her closet. Picking out a pair of jeans and her Dobson High school hoodie, she left her room to lock herself in the bathroom. Brian would already be in the kitchen making his breakfast.

Lily stood under the hot spray, trying to prep herself for the torture that was known as high school…if she could get past her brother without the usual drama. She turned the water off and dried her body, ignoring the bruises that littered her body. Another 15 minutes and she was ready…make up and all. She rarely wore it but she looked way to pale even to herself.

She snuck back into her room to grab her messenger bag and shoes. Her brother was making a lot of noise and Lily couldn't deal with it. Thankfully, her room was on the bottom floor for once. Pulling her window open, she crawled through and hurried down the street, shoving her hand in the front pocket of her hoodie. It was nice and chilly outside, something she could not get used to being from Sunny Arizona.

* * *

Castiel got out of Michael's car and waved goodbye, sadly watching as his brother drove off. God he wanted so badly to just go back home and curl under the covers. He could already see the football team grouping up near the main entrance of the school making Castiel groan inwardly. The cheerleaders were slowly joining them; their squeals and high-pitched giggles could be heard across the courtyard. His fingers clutched at the straps of his backpack and held his breath, keeping his head down as he hurried into the building.

"Hey Novak! Looking good nerd boy!" one of the football players called out with a loud laugh. Castiel ignored it and kept walking to his home room. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure none of them were following when he slammed full bodily into someone, knocking him right on too his ass. Castiel closed his eyes and groaned, couldn't even make it to his homeroom…

"Shit! Oh my god I am so sorry!" A girl shrieked, his eyes snapping open. On the floor in front of him sat a girl his age, her eyes wide with shock. Castiel tried to speak but her eyes held him spell-bound. They were so green…a bright emerald that seemed to melt into a jade going closer to the irises. Her jet black hair was tied back into a loose braid, strands of free hair floated around her face, which flushed pink. When his brain allowed him to look past her eyes he noticed her adorable button nose and the light dusting of freckles stretching across her nose.

"It's…um…ok…are you alright?" Castiel finally managed to squeak out. She nodded and glanced around, flinching when she heard people laughing. She scrambled up to her knees, grabbing her bag. Castiel swallowed hard and started to stand up when a hand was thrust in front of his face. He glanced up and saw her smiling at him. He smiled back, taking her hand and getting to his feet.

"I really am sorry about that…I can't…find my home room and wasn't watching where I was going. Ugh, why is this school such a freaking maze!" She grumbled looking around with a frown. Castiel couldn't help but smile at her; she was really cute…borderline the prettiest girl he had ever seen. He bit his lip, running his hand through his hair.

"Where…who do you have for home room?" He asked softly shoving his hands into his pockets. She looked at him again and he felt a shiver go down his spine…her freaking eyes…

"Um…someone named Crowley?" She answered chewing on her lip. Castiel's eyes zeroed into her lips at that moment, they looked so soft and plump, her bottom a slightly bigger than the top…Castiel had only kissed one person before but dear god did he want to kiss this girl now.

"Hey…you alright there?" She asked and Castiel felt his face burn.

"Oh….yeah sorry um…Crowley? His room is across the hall from mine, he teaches math…he's bit of a jackass…oh sorry," Castiel looked down quickly, chewing on the inside of his mouth. He realllllly needed to learn to shut up right about now. She let out a giggle and Castiel couldn't help the flip in his gut.

"He's a math teacher….they're all bastards to me. Anyway…um…do you mind if I walk with you? I get lost easily and really don't want to knock another cute guy over so…yeah, lead the way blue eyes," She grinned at him. Castiel nearly choked on his own tongue. Cute? She thought he was cute?! He nodded but couldn't get a word out as he led the way down the hall. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure she was still there, she smiled brightly at him and he quickly looked forward, the blush seeming to become permanent on his cheeks.

"I'm Lily by the way," She said stepping next to him, bumping him with her shoulder. He couldn't help but grin.

"Castiel," he replied and blushed when she stared at him, laughing quietly.

"Castiel? Huh, I thought I had it bad when they named me Lilian…old lady name," She grinned.

"So…um…here you go, Mr. Crowley's homeroom," Castiel gestured to the open classroom where a stout middle-aged man was already barking at some students. She made a face and turned towards him.

"Who do you have?" She asked shoving her hands into her sweater.

"Oh…I have Mrs. Talbot…she's really nice. She teaches English," he answered glancing over at her room. She nodded and chewed on her lip again.

"So Cas…see you around?"

"Cas?" He asked giving her a questioning look. The only nickname he ever had been Cassie…and he only allowed Michael to call him that. She giggled and shrugged, reaching out to ruffle his hair playfully. The bell went off and both groaned loudly. She turned to walk into her class but Castiel quickly reached out to grab hold of her sweater.

"Um…would you want too…meet up after home room?" He stammered trying to make eye contact with her but he knew those damn eyes would suck him in again.

"Really? Sure!" She said excitedly. He had to look up, the smile on her face made his heart thump…her eyes were even brighter when she smiled like that. It was almost too much. He smiled back at her and quickly disappeared into his classroom.


	4. Ch 4 The Beginning of Something New

Castiel tapped his fingers against his desk, 5 more minutes and homeroom/1st hour would be over. He really loved English especially Mrs. Talbot's class. She always let them read more mature literature and got them involved with Greek plays. This year they were focusing on the Iliad and Odyssey. He had already read them of course but that didn't matter, they were some of his favorites.

Mrs. Talbot was in front of the classroom going over her semester plans and usually Castiel paid attention but all he seemed able to focus on were green eyes and a bright smile. He really hoped they had at least one class together…if not maybe she would sit with him at lunch? _Seriously …are you a girl?_ He shook his head and rubbed his eyes, knocking his glasses onto the desk. He felt a sharp jab into his side making him yelp.

"Castiel…you alright?" Mrs. Talbot asked raising her brow at him. Castiel blushed and shook his head, sinking down in his seat.

"Yeah nerd boy…you alright there?" Adam Milligan's voice sneered into his ear. Castiel cringed putting his glasses back on.

"Who was that hottie you were talking too by the way? It was nice of her to take pity on your pathetic ass," Adam's laugh echoed in his ear and Castiel tried to shrink into himself even more.

"That's enough Mr. Milligan! Careful, I have a full stack of detention slips, right here on my desk. Don't push it," She threatened turning back to the white board. Castiel bit his lip when the smack to the back of his head came. _Awesome_….

The bell exploded and Castiel flew out of his seat…one to get away from Adam and two…he prayed that Lily really did want to walk to 2nd hour with him. He chewed on his thumbnail waiting outside his classroom…he really needed to get to his locker but he couldn't pass up this chance. Finally he saw her; she was talking with Tessa, the head cheerleader.

* * *

"Yeah sure…I'll see you around," Lily forced a smile to the girl before she turned away to look for Castiel. The girl was beyond annoying but she seemed nice…for a cheerleader. In Arizona she never could get along with them, way too damn perky for her tastes. Even though one of her passions was dancing…cheerleading was not dancing…she'd smack the person who tried to convince her, again.

"Hey Cas!" She asked feeling her face flush a bit when she finally caught sight of the blue-eyed kid she knocked down earlier. His eyes widened when they met her own and a grin broke though his stoic posture. The guy was amazingly hot…. nerdy hot. Dark brown mussed up hair, amazing cobalt blue eyes and his smile…she got the feeling he didn't smile much but from what she could see of it, made her want to giggle. And now he was wearing glasses…Jesus, really? And to top it off…the kid probably had no clue how amazing he really was.

She bit her lip and wrung her hands together. She never got bashful…but put a hot nerdy boy in front of her, she was a shy mess. Lily pushed through the mass of kids to reach the other side of the hall where Castiel stood waiting.

"Hi Lily," He answered quietly. She bit her lip to keep her smile from breaking out into an obnoxious grin.

"So uh, what's your 2nd hour?"

"Um, History with Mr. Roman…you?" he cleared his throat and continued to chew on his thumb. Lily pulled out her schedule from her back pocket and groaned inwardly.

"Well, damn. I have Photo with a Braeden person…"

"You're taking photo?! I…um…I really like that class" He gushed, his cheeks turning a dark red. Lily tried to suppress a giggle as she shoved the paper back into her pocket.

"I take it you like photo?" She asked starting to follow him down the hall. He nodded trying to hide his grin.

"Yeah…I've been wanting to join yearbook club since last year," he grumbled out. Lily looked over at him and bit her lip.

"Well…why don't you?"

"Mrs. Braeden…only let's certain people into the club…" Castiel answered quietly.

She saw him glance over at who she assumed was a football jock by his letterman's jacket. He was surrounded by other boys dressed in the same fashion with a bunch of giggly girls floundering around them. Tessa being among one of the girls clinging to said jock's arm. She made a face knowing exactly why he didn't either try or get accepted into Yearbook. At her own school, the popular kids had control over all of the more important clubs…dance committee, yearbook, student council…blah blah blah. She guessed the same rules applied here.

"Sounds like a royal bitch…" She muttered mostly to herself but she caught the slight nod of Castiel's head.

"I have to um…get to my locker," he stammered softly not looking up at her.

"Oh…well…uh…so I'll see you around ?" She asked trying to make him stop staring at the floor. He glanced up and she smiled brightly at him.

"Probably…bye," He stammered before scurrying away. She shook her head laughing a little. This kid was too much. _Shit…where was photo?_

* * *

Castiel practically ran to his locker, wrenching it open. What the hell was that Novak! Ugh, damn social awkwardness. Castiel sighed heavily as he placed his books on the shelf. This was so annoying…shaking his head as he hurried over to his History Class. Mr. Dick Roman was true to his name…a dick…he loved making students feel worthless and incompetent. He always picked out someone to ruin by the end of the semester. Roman thought Castiel was perfect for this one…especially since he tripped into his room a minute late.

Third period couldn't come sooner. Computer Science had to be his second favorite class, Mr. Fitzgerald was awesome. He was the youngest teacher in the school but by far the smartest. Quirky and hilarious, he always made Castiel feel normal. He had Garth as a teacher for Intro to Computers his sophomore year and he had to sign up for another class.

When the bell rang he kept his head down as he practically ran out of Dick's class. He searched around for a sight of Lily but didn't see her as he entered the computer room. Garth looked from his desk and smiled.

"Hey Castiel! Good summer?" He called out.

"Yeah…it was fun. What about you?" Castiel asked as he took his seat nearest to the window. Garth walked over and sat on the desk next to Castiel.

"Oh man it was great! Spent most of the time in the woods…sleeping in a tree two days in a row can really screw with your back," He laughed. Castiel smiled up at him and shook his head. Other students started to fill in, Garth got up and took his place near the front of the room. Chuck Shurley slammed his body down into his chair next to Castiel and let out a loud dramatic sigh. Castiel opened his mouth to ask him something but he received a death glare from him, shutting him up instantly. He covered his laugh with a cough as he turned to face the front of the room.

At the end of class Castiel faced Chuck, giving him a questioning look.

"Milligan," he grumbled packing up his backpack. No other words needed to be said. Adam Milligan = the biggest douche on campus.

Lily walked out her 3rd hour with her stomach nearly screaming obscenities at her. Looking around to where all the kids from her class were herding towards, she decided to follow…maybe they were all going to the cafeteria? Lily felt a tap on her shoulder and she quickly jerked away, snapping her head to look over her shoulder.

"Whoa new girl, chill. Just trying to say hello?" It was the jock boy she had seen earlier…the one Tessa had been hanging all over.

"Sorry…don't like being snuck up on," She grumbled instantly on the defensive. Pulling her bag's strap higher on her shoulder she continued to follow everyone.

"I'm Adam…football quarterback….what's your name?" Adam grinned down at her making her stomach twist a tad. He was kind of cute…blonde gelled up hair, blue eyes (nothing like Castiel's mind you), he was tall and had a thin frame…his smile was dull though. Like he was going through with the motions but didn't quite know how to pull it off. Relief rushed through her when she saw the cafeteria building looming before them, he heard a throat being cleared. Oh right…he asked a question...

"Nice to meet you Adam Football Quarterback…I'm Lilian," She grinned, knocking the smile off his face. He snorted out a laugh shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.

"Nice…so, how you liking Seattle?" He asked trying to push that fake ass smile back on his face.

"There you are! OH my god Adam, will you stop pestering her! Sorry Lil, Adam has NO manners!" Tessa giggled as she playfully pushed at Adam. Lily stifled a groan and frantically glanced around for somewhere she could escape too…or someone. Mr. Blue eyes hadn't made an appearance and she could feel her gut fall with disappointment.

"It's Lily actually…and he's fine. I'm gonna get some food…" Lily forced a tight-lipped smile pushing past them to make her way into the cafeteria. Tessa really wasn't that bad so far, she just didn't want to be around Adam…he rubbed her the wrong way. If he had to force such a horribly fake smile…what else was fake about him?

* * *

Castiel entered the cafeteria, chewing on his lip as he glanced around the noisy room. This was an every day habit for him, to stare at everyone sitting in their groups before he got something meager from line, then disappearing outside to eat alone. Chuck always invited him to sit with his friends but Castiel always declined…not wanting to intrude. This time though, he was hoping to catch sight of someone…hoping to sit with her.

He sighed heavily when he didn't see her again, he moved to get in line when he felt someone drape their arm over his shoulders. He stilled and held his breath.

"Hey there pretty boy," Gordon's voice rumbled into his ear. Castiel cringed and gripped onto his backpack straps tighter. Gordon was Adam's best friend…or henchman for that matter. If it wasn't Milligan tormenting him, it was Gordon. The students around them tried to not stare…some snickering, some looking at him in pity. Castiel shrank a bit from Gordon and regretted it instantly when Gordon snickered, digging his fingers into his shoulder.

"Oh come on…we're not that bad lil boy are we? You just have to show a lil more respect to us is all," he sneered.

"Respect? That's a pretty big word for someone like you douche bag," someone from behind them laughed. Castiel's eyes widened in shock…someone was actually sticking up for him? He knew that voice too…_oh god_….

"What the fuck you say to me lil girl?" Gordon growled pulling his arm away from Castiel. He slowly looked over his shoulder and bit his tongue to keep from groaning. Lily stood with her hands crossed over her stomach, her green eyes dark in anger as she glared at Gordon.

"You like that word don't you? Lil….over compensating…for something?" She snickered letting her eyes cast down. Castiel bit hard on his lip to keep from laughing with the others surrounding them.

"Why you little…"

"See…there you go again. Go bully someone else," She rolled her eyes and pushed past him, smiling at Castiel. He held his breath, wanting to thank her but couldn't get the words out. No one had ever stuck up for him. Gordon threw a curse at her before storming off towards the 'jock' table. Castiel frowned…he knew this would end badly for her…

"Lily…you really didn't need to do that…you're new here and I'm…"

"Cas…I don't care who you are or what your damn social standing is in this school. No one deserves to be treated like that and well…you're my friend. My friends don't get shat on without me getting a little protective…deal with it," she winked at him and pulled on his arm, getting them back in line.


	5. Ch 5 Hope in the Darkness

**_Warnings: self-harm_**

* * *

_You saw my pain washed out in the rain_  
_ Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins_  
_ But you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart_  
_ And you knelt beside my hope torn apart_

_ But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view_  
_ We'll live a long life_

_ So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light_  
_ 'Cause oh that gave me such a fright_  
_ But I will hold as long as you like_  
_ Just promise me we'll be alright_

~A couple of weeks later~

Castiel clutched his worn copy of The Odyssey to his chest as he watched the rainfall almost lazily. It was Saturday and even though it rained a lot…he still loved days like this. The sky dark and hazy with clouds; a slight breeze to give the air a slight nip. He'd pull his comforter off his bed and snuggle into it reading one of his favorite books. Music played softly off his laptop, only to serve for background noise.

Though today was one of his favorite kinds of days, he couldn't stop wondering how Lily was or what she was doing. Ever since that day in the cafeteria Castiel had found himself somewhat clinging to her. Just being around her made his heart flutter and his body warm. They would walk to their classes together, eat lunch together and even wait outside until Michael would pick him up after school.

During all this time they talked about trivial things, never going deeper than that. Castiel had a terrible feeling that Lily was trying to hide something but he couldn't blame her…he too was hiding something. This friendship was so new and amazing to Castiel; he'd rather live with this constantly inside, eating away at him then loose his friend.

But…he couldn't help the worry that had started to nag at him yesterday. When he would meet up with her on the senior lawn under their usual tree, she'd greet him with a huge smile and begin to chatter away at him about some new book she found in the library. Yesterday he had been looking forward to it, something to ease away the horrible sinking feeling he had due to the nightmare that plagued him the night before.

When he got to their tree, she wasn't there. He started to chew on his thumbnail as he waited…10 minutes later she finally showed up. Castiel instantly knew something was wrong. Her hair was a mess and her make up looked weird. He didn't know a thing about it but he guessed she slept with it on and didn't get a chance to wash her face that morning. He bit hard on his lip as he watched her walk over to him. She barely made eye contact with him, just nodded a hello before turning to where his locker was. She never used her own, just kinda threw her books in with his. Which of course he didn't mind, just meant more time he got to spend with her.

On the journey to their shared locker, he tried to get her to say something. He brought up his brother, the new song he found, and the hilarious sight of Gordon tripping and falling on his ass in gym. Nothing, she barely nodded to acknowledge that she was listening. He wrung his hands together as he looked at her a little closer. Her lips were swollen and the bottom was split. Castiel swallowed the lump that instantly formed in his throat. _What the hell happened to her? _She didn't have a boyfriend…and he knew her dad had passed away…. he didn't know anything else about her home life.

Castiel had no idea what to do or say…she kept quiet the entire day. At the end of the day they were waiting for Michael to come pick him up…he had reached out and hesitantly put his hand on hers. She finally made eye contact with him then and he held his breath. Her usual bright joy filled eyes were so dull and filled with tears Castiel felt his heart lurch.

"Lily…what…"

"Cas…" She sighed heavily and gripped his hand, "Your brother is here…have a good weekend…text me later if you want," She finally gave him a small smile. He nodded and was about to head over to the car when his arms were suddenly full with Lily pulling him close. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in when he felt her shaking.

"Lily…why don't you come over to my house? Please?" he asked softly against her ear. He felt her hands grip his shoulders a little before gently pushing away from him. She hastily brushed a fallen tear from her face and shook her head.

"Nah, it's ok. I gotta get home. I'll talk to you later Cas," She forced another smile before walking away from him.

That was yesterday…and he hadn't heard from her since. He tried to text her and when she never responded to those he started to call her. 5 calls and 3 voice mails later…and nothing. He was growing anxious…

"Hey little brother…you ok in here?" Michael tapped on his door before stepping inside his room. Castiel glanced over to him and smiled, pulling his blanket tighter around himself. Michael pulled his computer chair over to Castiel and sat down; resting his arms on the back of it.

"I'm alright, just worried about a friend," Castiel finally answered him once he was settled.

"Is it that girl you're always with now after school? Lily?" Michael asked taking a deep breath when a breeze pushed through the screen of his window.

"Yeah…she was acting different yesterday and now she won't answer any of my messages…." Castiel bit on his lip and sighed heavily, pulling his knees up to his chest.

"How so?"

"Well…usually she talks to me, always tries to get me to smile or laugh…but yesterday…she didn't say a word and barely would look at me. When she did…her lip was split open and practically clung to me when she hugged me. I tried asking her about it but she just cut me off and walked away," Castiel explained, the lump in his throat making it hard to breathe let alone talk. Michael wrinkled his brow with worry as he listened, and Castiel could see him trying to process the information and analyze it.

"Do you know if she has a boyfriend?" Michael asked after a moment.

"No…I mean we haven't really talked about our pasts or anything really serious…so I don't know if she had a boyfriend before moving. But she doesn't have one here…we spend so much time together at school I would have noticed. Mike…if only you had seen her face before she left…. I honestly don't know what to do…" Castiel rubbed his face a few times before resting his head back against the wall.

"I don't know bro…sounds like something's going on at home then. All I can say is that if you really want to be her friend then you have to be patient. You can't force her to tell you. Just be there for her…" Michael reached out and rubbed Castiel's arm.

"Thanks Mike…" He smiled at his older brother. He nearly jumped out of the window when his phone exploded into the silence. Michael held back his snicker as Castiel fumbled for his phone.

"Oh…finally! It's her," He took a breath to calm his frantic heart before hitting the green button.

"Castiel! Oh my god I am so sorry I didn't return your messages. My fucking brother hid my phone…ugh! Please don't be mad!" She pleaded with him, Castiel had to smile…she sounded so much better than yesterday. Michael smiled over at him before leaving the room.

"Lily it's ok…I'm not mad I was just really worried. Are you ok?" He asked nibbling on his bottom lip. He heard her sigh and heard a shuffling sound.

"Cas…yeah I'm fine. Really…look yesterday was just a really bad day for me. I don't want to talk about it and…thank you, I know we haven't really been friends that long but it meant a lot to me that you tried to make me feel better," She sniffled. Castiel closed his eyes; he really wished he could see her right then.

"That's what friends are for…but I want you know that I'm here if you want to talk Lil…"

"You know…usually I fucking hate when people call me Lil…but I like it when you do. So how has your weekend been so far? Reading The Odyssey again?" She snickered.

Castiel groaned and opened his eyes; it was pitch dark in his room save for the glow of the full moon. _Shit…I fell asleep!_ He laughed at himself as he tried to untangle his limbs from his blanket.

"Dammit!" he cried as he fell hard to floor.

"You ok there blue eyes?"

Castiel knew from the moment he let out the shrill scream he would never live it down, not in this lifetime or the next. His cackling friend crouched outside his window would be damn sure of that. He could also hear his brother laughing all the way through the house. His face burned to the shade of a tomato as he tried to stand only tripping again and landing on his ass.

"Cas…would you like some help?" Lily giggled, her green eyes watching him in amusement.

"Just…shit…give me…there! God!" he shouted as he ripped his blanket away from him, throwing the stupid thing back on his bed. He stared at his window, it finally dawning on him that Lily was really there, crouched on his sill watching him. He pulled on his glasses and stared back at her.

"Not that I'm complaining…why are you here?" He finally asked. He stepped up to his window and carefully popped his screen out, letting her crawl through.

"Well… for one, you fell asleep on me and I wasn't done talking to you brat," She grinned, playfully shoving at his shoulder. Castiel smiled at her, turning on his desk lamp.

"And for two…I needed to get out of the house…and I kinda wanted to see you," She stepped over to his desk and leaned against it. Castiel slightly tilted his head to the side as he watched her…she was acting shy all of the sudden and it was rather…adorable. He would never deny the fact that Lily was beautiful and he knew that soon he would be considering her as a best friend…but looking at her now he was starting to feel something else…. a warmth in his chest.

"Well…here I am," He replied moving to stand next to her, their shoulders pressed against each other. She smiled at him and leaned over to put her head on his shoulder, Castiel's breathing hitched as he caught the lovely scent of jasmine's from her hair. He didn't want to move but he knew her leaning that way had to be uncomfortable…he took her hand and moved them to sit on the windowsill. She sat down next to him, weaving her arm through his before putting her head back on his shoulder.

He couldn't stop the grin that pulled at his lips when she snuggled closer to him. They were quiet sitting together…. their soft breathing and the still playing music were the only sounds that filled the room.

Nothing could move him from this spot, not even the clock glaring at him that it was nearing 10 o'clock. With what he was assuming was going on with his friend, he really did not want her to get into more trouble but he also really, really did not want her to leave. With as much confidence as he could muster, he reached out for her hand and intertwined their fingers, smiling wide when she accepted and pulled their hands onto her lap.

"Cas…I really don't want to make you uncomfortable but…can I stay here tonight?" He glanced down at her and held his breath, her face was upturned towards his and her lips were so close to. He only had to tilt his head just a slight and he would be able to touch them…he closed his eyes and cleared his mind, trying to focus on the question.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to get in trouble," He whispered softly.

"I don't care…please Cas? I mean, if you don't want me too, I can totally understand," She said quickly, starting to pull her hand out of his. Castiel gently pulled on her fingers to keep them clasped together.

"I'd love if you stayed…I'll have to ask my brother though," He bit his lip…this would be awkward trying to explain to Michael. She raised her head and smiled brightly at him before kissing his cheek.

"Thank you," She whispered close to his ear. He glanced at her again to see tears shining in her eyes…but they weren't sad like yesterday. He would be ecstatic if he never saw that dullness in her eyes again. Castiel shocked himself when he pressed his lips against her forehead.

"I'll go ask…stay here," He reluctantly pulled away from her. She nodded and pulled her knees up, wrapping her arms around them. Taking one last glance at her, he slipped out of his room only to smack right into his brother's chest.

"Is that who I think it is in there with you?" Michael asked crossing his arms over his chest. Castiel shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweat pants and nodded shyly.

"She…was wondering if she could stay the night?" His voice quiet and timid.

"Castiel…I trust you not to do anything stupid so you have my permission but…wont she get into trouble for this?" His brother asked looking a little nervous himself.

"I asked her that but she says she doesn't care…" Castiel answered finally looking up and meeting Michael's eyes. His brother looked down at him and softly smiled.

"Ok…good night Castiel…and I better get to meet this girl officially sometime…" He teased before heading towards his own bedroom. Castiel let out a breath before slipping back into his room. Lily was still there but she had moved so she could stare out the window. It was raining again, the sound of it echoing through his room, drowning out his music.

"He said it was ok…do you want something to sleep in?" He asked stepping closer to her. She looked up at him smiling, giving him a slight nod. Grabbing a pair of sweats and one of his t-shirts, he handed them over to her and left the room so she could change. After a few moments, she called out that she was finished. She was laying down on his bed, flipping through The Odyssey. She was wearing the sweats but the shirt he offered her was draped over the chair, she still wore the sweater that he never sees her without.

"Um…I'll go sleep on the couch…"

"Cas…really? Come here," She rolled her eyes and laughed at him. He smiled shyly at her, nervously making his way over to the bed. She grabbed his hand and pulled him to lie next to her, leaving enough space between them so he wouldn't be uncomfortable. She grabbed up the book again and before he could stop himself, he wrapped his arm around her, moving her so she could lay her head on his shoulder again.

He had no idea where this was going…whether or not they would be just friends or anything more but at that moment, he was happy. And the look on her face when she smiled up at him was worth the anxiety rising in his chest.

* * *

Over the next few days, Lily found herself sneaking out of her house and into Castiel's room. By Wednesday his older brother got annoyed at her sneaking through the window and finally told her if she didn't start using the front door he would ban her from the house. She thought he was serious until he broke out into a grin. She really liked him…he was what she knew older brothers should be like…snarky and teasing…but protective as well.

Brian was never like that…even before her father died. He had always treated her like she was some curse he couldn't be rid of. She envied the relationship that Cas had with Michael…it was another reason she found herself constantly sneaking over to his house. She loved it there…eating dinner with the both of them and then spending the rest of the night reading with Cas until they fell asleep. No matter what little space they kept between them before they dozed off, she would wake up clinging to him.

One night though, she woke up to Castiel thrashing in his sleep. She got him to calm down but he wouldn't tell her what it was about and she didn't push. It wouldn't have been fair seeing how she couldn't tell him what was going on with her either. The mere thought had her pulling the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands to keep him from noticing the shaking. That morning she woke up to find him wrapped around her and any time she tried to move, he clutched at her a little tighter.

Not that she minded but she was getting worried that she was starting to feel a little more than the normal attraction she felt towards her nerdy friend. She loved Castiel and knew that he was her best friend…but what if she wanted more than this? What if he didn't? It made her stomach hurt thinking it but she would push it down with a vengeance. His friendship meant way more to her than a few hurt feelings.

Thursday they were running late…both of them had forgotten to set the stupid alarms and Michael was so used to them always waking up on time he forgot to set his as well. They woke up to him freaking out and pounding on the door. Castiel gracefully fell out of bed and Lily couldn't breathe from laughing so hard. They managed to get to school with only enough time to scramble to their shared locker. Something that Lily still laughed at. She had thrown her books in next to his, joking about wasting too much time going to her locker that was on the other side of campus. That was the second day of their friendship and he had just smiled at her, letting her use his locker from then on. She had never been more grateful of her clumsiness.

Lily walked out of her 3rd hour and yawned loudly as she tried to push through the sea of kids to get to their tree. She had barely stepped outside when a hand grabbed her shoulder, spinning her around. Tessa stared at her with a look that she couldn't describe. It was like she had a huge secret she couldn't wait to scream out but she seemed annoyed by it.

She opened her mouth to say something but stopped when Adam and Gordon stepped up behind her. _Couldn't they tell she wanted nothing to do with them?_

"Yeah?" She asked finally breaking the silence.

"So…you and nerd boy huh?" Adam snickered, those dead eyes of his staring down at her. She scrunched her brow in question and waited.

"Seriously Lily…I know you're new and kinda got…got put off by us I guess but really? Him? You could do so much better!" Tessa whined clutching at Lily's hand. She pulled away and laughed.

"What's so wrong with him? What has he ever done to you?" She asked taking a step back from them.

"What isn't wrong with the lil spaz?" Gordon piped in and Lily rolled her eyes, turning to walk away from them. Adam grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back to them.

"You shouldn't waste your time fucking that queer…let me and Gordon show you how a real man feels," he sneered, his voice close to her ear. They were just words but him holding her like that and his voice…her skin crawled with revulsion and it was all too much. She spun around and her hand connected with the side of his face. The loud snap seemed to echo across the lawn.

"Lily! What the hell is wrong with you!" Tessa screeched before covering her mouth with her hand.

"What the hell is wrong with me? You have the balls to ask me that! You walk around thinking that this school owes you something…get the fuck over yourselves. Castiel is the best person I have ever had the honor knowing. If you would take your heads out of your asses just once, you would see how amazing he is!" Lily was yelling at this point, and other people were starting to stare. She didn't care…the only person that mattered was her best friend who was staring at her from behind Gordon. His blue eyes were huge and all the color had drained from his face. She swallowed hard and started to walk away when Gordon made another rude comment.

"And by the way…I wouldn't touch either of you with a 10 ft pole…god only knows what I would catch…" She looked between them before huffing out a laugh. Tessa let out a loud noise when Lily pushed past them to make her way over to Castiel. He blinked a few times before pretty much running away from her.

Lily's breath caught in her throat and suddenly she was reminded that he was socially awkward…he never showed it around her anymore…she'd forgotten. It wasn't her fault though, they had pissed her off and she just couldn't let them say those things…she felt her eyes burn with the tears that were threatening to spill _no, no, no… _Pulling her sleeves over her hands she hurried off towards her own locker, she hadn't used it all year but she did hide something in there…something she was keeping from Cas.

* * *

Castiel paced in the handicap stall of the boy's bathroom. What the hell was wrong with him? Lily had just stood up for him yet again and how does he repay her? Fucking running away like a coward? God what she must be thinking…he couldn't help it though. The second he felt all the other kids starting to stare at him, his heart had started to pound so fiercely it made it hard to breathe. He had only wanted to get away long enough to calm down.

"Did you see her? Pretending to be so tough only to start crying when she turns her back…pathetic," a girl laughed. Castiel tried looking for Lily but she was gone and his heart sank. Now he was pacing in a bathroom stall…trying to sort through the surge of thoughts. He really needed to find her but lunch would be ending soon… they did have Art together…and Mrs. Barnes was usually cool about them talking.

The wait until 5th hour was brutal. Lily never met up with him at their locker after lunch or after 4th period. It was killing him…he needed her to realize he wasn't running away from her…it was just overwhelming…he knew she would understand once he got to explain it. She wasn't at their locker again before 5th hour and he had to run to class…he let out a heavy sigh when he saw her sitting at their table. Her sleeves pulled up over hands, something that was a nervous habit of hers.

He sat down next to her, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he looked at her. Her eyes were red and her lips were chapped from her chewing on them.

"Lily…" he tried but she cut him off with a shake of her head. She rested her head on her hand, blocking him out. Cas swallowed hard and was grateful when Mrs. Barnes announced that it was going to be a free day since she forgot to bring her examples. Castiel pulled out his phone and texted Lily.

_From Castiel:_

_**Lily…please look at me? **_

He saw her flinch and from her movements he knew she was looking at her phone but got no response from her.

_From Castiel:_

_**I didn't run from you…I swear. Talk to me please?**_

_From Lily:_

I'm sorry for embarrassing you…I didn't mean too, they just pissed me off and…I can't type it all.

Castiel looked up and was overcome with relief when he saw green eyes staring back at him.

_From Castiel:_

Meet me at the pond behind the school after class…we'll talk but please don't shut me out ok?

Lily read the text and nodded, moving her chair a little closer to him, pressing their shoulders together. He wished he was brave enough to wrap his arm around her and pull her closer but couldn't. Class ended rather slowly, when the bell finally rang, he felt brave enough to take Lily's hand. He pulled her through the school and out the back doors. She followed him across the grounds and into the surrounding trees. They were quiet as they walked. When they reached the pond, Cas sat down on one of the stones, pulling Lily to sit next to him.

Castiel had no idea how to even begin…what he really wanted to say to her he couldn't form into coherent sentences. He's always been better with actions anyway. They were sitting close and when he looked up, she was staring out over the water, a small breeze moving the stray strands around her face. Closing his eyes and steeling his nerves, he rolled up the sleeve of his right arm and placed it palm up in her lap. She took a glimpse down and sucked in a quick breath when she saw all the scars on his forearm.

"Cas…" her voice was tight and pained, her fingers shakily brushing over them. The soft touch made him shiver and he had to push down the anxiety. He felt something wet on his arm…nervously he met her eyes, scared to see pity or even worse…disgust. But what he saw shocked him to the core. Complete understanding shown in those bright green eyes as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

She let out a shaky breath before rolling up her own sleeve, placing her arm next to his and it was his turn to gasp. Her scars were fresh…one of them was bright red and the skin was raised up. His chest tightened and he fought against it to breathe.

"Shit…Lily," he choked out meeting her eyes. He felt her fingers intertwine with his own and he felt a wave of calm flow through him. This was a huge step in their friendship…a feeling of trust he had never had with another person beside his brother. And he knew he was that for her as well…she hadn't needed to say it, it was written all over her face. She smiled at him and pressed her forehead against his as the rain began to fall. They had just shared a piece of their souls and were stronger for it. The smell of rain and jasmines engulfed him and both sighed with content.

Ghosts That We Knew~Mumford and Sons


	6. Ch 6 Comfort

Castiel gripped the hand that was tightly woven in his, pulling it closer to his chest. A silver claddagh ring sat on her middle finger that he hadn't noticed before. He glanced at her and she smiled at him.

"It was my grandma's on my dad's side…she gave it to me at his funeral," She explained softly. They walked slowly along the sidewalk towards her house. Castiel had begged her to just come to his but she declined again, saying that it would be best so she wouldn't get into trouble. That she would meet up with him like usual.

"Michael's making pasta tonight…I'll save you some," Castiel grinned. She opened her mouth to say something but stopped when an electric blue 69 mustang pulled to a stop next to them. He looked at the car and then back at Lily; her face had gone completely white and her grip on his hand grew unbelievably tight.

"Lil…you ok?" He asked. Someone got out of the car and slammed the door shut.

"Where the hell have you been? We got calls of you missing school!" A boy about 21 yelled as he strode up to them. Without thinking Castiel moved to stand in front of Lily, her whole body was trembling as her free hand clutched into the back of his shirt.

"Brian…" she chocked out before the older boy grabbed for her arm, yanking her roughly from Castiel.

"Who the hell are you?" Castiel heard himself shout, keeping a firm grip on her hand.

"I'm her brother…and she is no concern of yours," Brian tried to pull her away but their hands were still clasped together. Castiel couldn't let go; she was staring at him with panic filled eyes.

"Lil…" Cas swallowed hard when her hand finally slipped out of his, a tear sliding down her cheek.

"Let's go," her brother ordered, practically shoving her into the car. Castiel couldn't breathe as he watched them drive off. He had a better understanding of what was going on now…and she was in serious trouble because of him. It wasn't fair, he'd only wanted to be there for her, talk to her…and he got her in a worse mess then she already was in.

Castiel clutched at his chest as he struggled to breathe. Weeks of pushing down his anxiety came crashing into him. The image of what was going to happen when she got back home coursing through his mind. He snagged out his cell phone, typing in his brother's number with shaking hands.

"Cassie? Where are you? You ok?" Michael asked, voice filled with worry.

"Mikey, I need you to come and get me…" Castiel pressed his forehead to his knees taking in deep breaths as he told his brother where he was. Within 15 minutes, he heard a car pull up and feet hitting the pavement.

"Cassie, talk to me lil brother…what happened?" he heard Michael's voice and felt his arm wrap around his shoulders.

"It's her brother Michael…her brother is the one hurting her," Castiel wheezed out, raising his head to look at him.

"Wait… Lily? How do you know…talk to me Castiel," Michael begged moving so he could look his brother in the face. Castiel swallowed hard again and fought against the panic consuming him.

"Mike…we ditched last period cause I needed to talk to her…I didn't think about the school calling home…I just wanted her to talk to me…I was walking her home when her brother caught up…god Mike I'm so fucking stupid!" Castiel cried out a few tears falling down his face.

"No, no, no…listen to me, ok? Whatever is going on with Lily is not your fault…we'll talk later about you ditching but right now you need to tell me what happened…what did her brother do?"

Castiel took a steadying breath and nodded, "She went completely pale and was crying when he shoved her into the car. She was scared Mike…I don't think it's her mom…it's just him…I could feel it…"

"Ok…let's get you home," Michael sighed heavily and got up, pulling Castiel gently to his feet.

"No! We have to go get Lily, please Mike?" Castiel begged gripping his older brother's arms.

"Cassie…we can't just barge over there demanding she leave with us, it'll be so much worse for her. But you let her know, that she is always welcome at our house. That I'll even cover for her if that damn brother of hers comes looking…I'll talk to my buddy and find out how he emancipated himself. But for right now…you're butt is grounded for ditching," Michael grinned and Castiel gave him a small smile. Feeling a little better knowing that his big brother would help him out.

His heart and mind finally slowed down enough to think rationally and knew his brother was right.

Once they were home, Castiel was sent to his room to do his homework. He sat at his desk staring at the same sentence of his history book for what felt like hours before his phone went off next to him. He chewed on his lip…he was grounded but he knew it was Lily calling. Snatching up his phone he answered it by the 3rd ring.

"Lily?" He asked quietly.

"Hey Cas…" she sighed softly.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm ok Cas…I promise. I…um…wanted to thank you for earlier…it may sound strange but it meant so much to me…no one has ever been there for me like that," Lily said in a strained whisper. Castiel swallowed around the lump in his throat and nodded.

"Cas? Are you still there?"

"Yeah…sorry, I was nodding," He huffed out a laugh and she gave a slight snicker.

"Lily…I know we haven't known each other long but you're my best friend…and I'll always be here for you no matter what," Castiel smiled down at his book as she let out a deep breath over the phone.

"The same goes for you Cas…I have to go…"

"Wait…are you coming over tonight?"

"Probably…same time. See you soon," She said and hung up. Cas sighed and put his phone down on the desk. The tension and anxiety finally seeping out of him, leaving him utterly exhausted.

* * *

Lily opened her eyes and for a moment she forgot where she was until an arm wrapped around her. She relaxed and let out the breath she was holding. Cas…she was at his house and was safe. Glancing at the clock she groaned…there was an hour left until the alarm would go off…and it was Friday. She prayed that her brother would keep to his plans and be away all weekend. It would be so much easier to sneak away and just stay with Cas. She never did see her mother unless it was to watch a "cleansing" session from her brother.

Cas snuggled a little closer and she had to smile, never in her life had she felt so comfortable with someone…to trust them whole-heartedly. That moment at the pond broke something in her…a wall that she hid behind and believed to never be free of.

The arm around her tightened and Cas let out a small whimper making Lily tense. His nightmares always started this way…he'd never tell her what they were about but that pained haunted look on his face killed her every time. This time she wouldn't let his nightmare take hold of him. Rolling over on her side she put her hand on the side of his face; gently rubbing her thumb along his cheekbone.

"Shhh, Cas you're safe," She whispered and smiled when he visibly relaxed. She snuggled closer nuzzling her face in his chest. He was so warm and smelled so good Lily fell asleep again.

Her eyes flew open when the alarm went off and she groaned again but this time loudly. Cas snickered and she felt his lips press against her forehead making her smile wide.

"You're as bad as I am with mornings…come on or Michael is gonna kill us both," He whispered slowly pulling away from her. She looked up and their eyes met, holding them still for a mere few seconds but something changed between them. An electric charge shot through her veins and she swallowed hard. _What the hell was that?_ She asked her self when Cas stumbled out of the bed, his face turning a dark red. He slapped the alarm off before going to his closet.

Lily shook her head and rubbed her face…whatever that was wasn't important…ok she wasn't stupid she knew exactly what happened but she would never let herself admit it. It would ruin everything and she would rather die than loose Cas.

They were a little awkward with each other that morning and Michael teased them for it but Lily just smacked his arm and laughed. It broke the tension and everything felt normal…well normal for them. Michael damn near kicked them out of the car while it was still moving; they always seemed to make him late for work. Which she still didn't know what he did…he was home a lot and only left to go to meetings. Lily believed he honestly didn't care though…their mornings were always fun and he always left them laughing his ass off.

Lily was about to ask Cas something when her vision filled with a scowling Tessa.

"I had such hopes for you Lil! You're so pretty and I can tell you can dance…I wanted you to join us! Then you had to go on a social suicide mission sleeping with faggot boy here…" Tessa's voice grated on Lily's skin but the last few words out of her mouth made her see red. She grabbed the front of Tessa's shirt and shoved her hard against the tree nearest to them.

"Don't you EVER call him that! You can say whatever you want about me but you keep your slut mouth shut when it comes to Castiel! And for your information I would NEVER fucking join you…even if I wasn't friends with him" Lily snarled in Tessa's face. Tessa opened her mouth but the only thing that came out was a quiet squeak and Lily laughed pushing away from her.

"And for the last time…it's Lily…" She reached over and grabbed a Cas's hand, pulling him away.

"Lil…wow," He said breathlessly. She glanced over and snickered at the look of awe written all over his face. She was just relieved that he hadn't run away from her this time…it made her feel warm all over.


	7. Ch 7 Rescue

**Warnings: **implied abuse and self-harm

* * *

Over the next couple of weeks saw them in the same routine that neither of them wanted to break. Lily sneaking over at night when she could, comforting each other through nightmares or just horrible memories when they would be all consuming.

Cas had even begun to open up about his own past…it started when he woke up screaming for his father to stop. Lily had held him even when he fought against her, but she wouldn't let go and he finally collapsed against her sobbing. He couldn't tell her all but she caught the gist of what happened. It made her chest hurt thinking that anyone could hurt someone like Cas…he was so amazing and…fragile. She wanted to protect that as much as she was able. She could give him that while he gave her his strength to keep going.

The third week after the show down with Tessa tore at their routine until it was a mangled mess….

"Lily come on! Jeez," Cas called out to her. She was for some reason by her own locker when he got out of Chemistry. She snatched a thin box out and shoved it into her bag as she ran over.

"What was that?" He asked eyeing her curiously. She just shook her head and roughed up his hair.

"Nothing weirdo…let's go. I have so much homework…Crowley is a fucking demon," She rolled her eyes.

"Oh my god you guys, did you see that that freaking mustang sitting out in front of the school? God it is soooooo sexy!" Balthazar exclaimed his British accent thick with excitement. He was a new friend that had enjoyed watching Lily yell at Tessa a little too much. Now they found him joining for lunch and neither minded, he was hilarious.

"Oh yeah? What color?" Lily grinned over at him but Cas's heart skipped a beat.

"A blue so electrified it would give Castiel's shocked expression a run for his money," Balthazar smirked and Lily laughed but stopped short. Cas gasped and felt like someone's fist slammed into his stomach.

"Guys…what's wrong?" Balthazar asked eyeing them both. Lily took in a deep breath and tried to keep her trembling from showing but her grip on Castiel's hand only tightened. They kept walking and Balthazar kept asking what was wrong, neither of them could answer…

Sure enough a blue Mustang sat behind Michael's car. Brian leaned against the passenger door, glaring daggers at Michael who was visibly struggling to keep from saying something.

"Seriously guys, what is going on…do you know him?" Balthazar asked stopping them both with a hand on Castiel's shoulder.

"He's my brother…I have to go…" Lily stuttered and tried pulling away but Cas just held on tighter.

"No…" Cas managed to choke out, his eyes never leaving Lily's face. Her eyes were filled with tears and she was trying to catch her breath.

"Cas please…I'll call you later I promise," She whispered and tore away from him.

"About fucking time little sister," Brian grumbled grabbing her arm. Cas felt his heart speed up and he wanted so badly to run over and stop them but he couldn't…he knew what would happen to her.

"Cas, what the hell is going on?" Balthazar demanded, all joking pushed away and Cas was surprised to see genuine worry written on their friend's face. He wanted to answer but Michael's voice interrupted.

"Lily…don't you have a project due with Castiel?" Michael asked stepping closer. Cas bit his lip and prayed.

"Y-yes…it's due in a few days," She stammered staring at her older brother.

"I'm Castiel's older brother Michael…if it would be alright with you, maybe she could come over tonight and work on it?" he heard the plea in Michael's voice.

"Not tonight…Mother wants a word with her darling daughter…maybe tomorrow…get in the car…now" Brian snarled, pushing Lily into the car. Michael took a step closer but Cas could see Lily shaking her head. The car tore out of the parking lot and before Cas could realize what was going on, he was on his knees trying to breathe.

"Shit! Cas!" he could hear Balthazar's voice through the fog spreading through his head.

"Baby brother…breathe…it's ok…she'll be ok…" he felt his older brother's hands cupping his face but he couldn't focus, all he could see was Lily's green eyes filling with tears.

* * *

It was 3 days and he hadn't heard or seen Lily. She wasn't at school and her phone was off. He couldn't sleep; too scared he'd miss her tapping at his window or the door. Michael kept trying to reassure him that she was ok but he could see the same worry in his face.

His pencil tapped anxiously at his desk watching the clock slowly mark its time for the bell to ring. When it did, he scrambled out of his seat only to be stopped by a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Castiel…may I have a word?" Mrs. Barnes asked softly. He nodded and stood by her desk waiting for the others to leave.

"I know you and Miss Mosby have been rather close in the last few weeks…do you know where she's been?" she asked keeping her voice quiet. Castiel shook his head trying to keep the panic from rising in his chest.

"Ok…well, when you see her, let her know that I'm here for her if she ever needs anything," she offered with a smile. Castiel felt himself nod and he ran. Teachers were starting to notice and worry…Mrs. Barnes wasn't the first to ask him about Lily. Without another thought Castiel crashed through the front doors of the school and ran. He didn't stop until he was standing in front of Lily's house gasping for air. He'd only been there once but it still brought chills down his spine.

He hesitated for a moment before knocking loud on the door. After a few moments it flew open to reveal a very disgruntled Brian who was now glaring at him.

"What do you want?" he growled out.

"Is…Is Lily here? She hasn't been in school…" Castiel stammered shrinking back a little.

"She's been sick..." Brian stated and went to close the door but Castiel put his hand out to stop it. Brian fixed his gaze at him and Castiel felt his pulse quicken.

"I just…um, wanted to make sure she was ok…I um…"

"Casriel right? Look…she'll be at school next week. Goodbye now," Brian said this time slamming the door shut before Castiel could say or do anything else. He backed away from the door looking at all the windows, trying to figure out which one was hers… He bit down hard on his lip and shook his head, even if he did find her it what would he do? Kidnap her?

Shaking his head he made his way to the sidewalk when a loud knocking stopped him. He spun around and he could see Lily's face in one of the side windows.

"Lil?" He squeaked out. She looked horrible…there were dark circles under her bloodshot eyes. Tears streamed down her face; a giant bruise on the right side of her face. Her lip was split again. He saw her mouth his name just before Brian wrenched her away from the window. Castiel wanted to knock on the door again but he knew it would be useless. He turned away from the house and began to walk towards his house, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

"Mikey! You have to come and help me…I just saw Lily and she looks horrible!" Castiel practically yelled into the phone.

"Whoa, Whoa…hold on. Cassie why aren't you in school? And what's going on?" Michael demanded. He could hear his older brother rummaging around for something and he prayed that it was for his car keys.

"I know Mike and I'm sorry…I hadn't heard anything from her in 3 days and I had to see if she was ok…" Castiel explained as he started to pace along the sidewalk a few houses down from Lily's.

"Cassie…alright, stay there. I'm coming," Michael hung up and Castiel sighed with relief. His phone shrilled at him and he answered without looking to see who it was.

"Cas…where are you?" Lily's voice came out in a thick whisper. Castiel felt his heart skip a beat, as he looked around frantically.

"I'm a few houses down…Lil are you ok?" Castiel demanded his fingers gripping the phone tightly.

"I'm…not ok Cas…I can't stand this anymore," She whimpered before a sob escaped her throat.

"Can you get out of the house? My brother is on his way to come pick me up…"

"I'm actually hiding in the back yard right now…they haven't seen me yet."

"Come out to the sidewalk, my brother should be here any minute," Castiel pleaded. There was no answer; she had hung up. He heard a loud clang as he made his way back to her house, so relieved to see Lily hurrying to him he let out a soft groan.

"Oh my god Lily…what happened?" He asked in a hushed whisper, pulling her into a tight hug. Her entire body was shaking but her fingers managed to hold onto his shirt with a death grip.

"Cassie…Lily…get in the car!" He heard Michael call out when the car came to a hard stop next to them. They crawled into the backseat of Michael's car, Lily nearly crawling into Castiel's lap. Michael looked over his shoulder at them and shook his head, his lips pressed hard together. The car peeled away from the curb and spun around to go back to their house.

They managed to get Lily into the house and Michael helped clean her up, forcing Castiel to start dinner.

* * *

"Lily…we need to take you to the police…" Michael said softly pressing a piece of gauze to her lip. She shook her head and tried to pull away but Michael's hand on her shoulder kept her in place.

"Please…I…I got the forms to emancipate myself yesterday and she signed them…that's why I have this," She sniffled pointing to her lip, "My mother wants me gone but my brother…he thinks he can still save me and doesn't want me to go. He kept me locked up in that house and took my phone. When I saw Cas at my house…I was able to steal it back. If I can just send those forms in…please I just want this to be over, I don't want to involve the police cause they'll just try to send me away," Lily began to cry, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

If they sent her away she knew exactly where they'd send her…to people who would most likely treat her worse than her own mother and brother. People who still blamed her for her father's death. She would never be able to see Cas again…she would never be able to survive that.

"Ok…Ok…I'll help you get those in…do you have them with you?" Michael gently pushed her hair away from her face to inspect the bruise on her face. She winced and shook her head, tears still spilling from her eyes.

"No…Once I got my phone and Cas told me you were picking him up I had to get out of there…I'm so fucking stupid," Lily groaned rubbing her eyes furiously.

"Hey…don't. Me and Cassie will go back to your place and get your stuff after dinner…in the mean time you need to try and relax…you're safe here Lily, I promise," Michael pulled her hands down from her face and gave her a smile that warmed her heart. She nodded and took in a shaky breath before letting it out slowly.

"Thank you Michael…I can't…even begin to tell you how grateful I am…"

"Shush…once this is over you can thank me then. This is your home now and you're welcome to stay as long as you want. Come on…lets go save Cassie from the stove," Michael smiled at her and she couldn't help herself from giggling. Cas couldn't cook to save his life…he even burnt the water for pasta one night…

"Michael…I have to ask though…why are you being so nice to me? I'm just a friend of Cas's…. I'm not family but you're going through all this trouble to help me…" Lily chewed on her lip as she waited. He smiled down at her again as he put his hands on her shoulders staring right into her eyes.

"You're not just Cas's friend…you are family and have been since that night you were able to calm Cas down from his nightmare. I know it's hard right now but…from what Cas has said I'm a damn good older brother and I've always wanted a little sister," Michael grinned at Lily. There were no words that she could utter that would come close to how she felt at that moment. She launched into Michael's arms and clung onto him, praying that he would understand. He felt him kiss her head and hug her tightly to his chest.

"And just so you know…I protect my family with a vengeance," He winked down at her before pulling her into the kitchen.

"Cas…seriously?" Lily asked quickly wiping away the tears that were now falling from the intense relief that nearly overwhelmed her. Swallowing thickly and trying to calm herself she was able to really see what was in front of her. Cas stood in the middle of the kitchen with the most adorable confused look on his face, as he looked over at all the open cabinets. She let out a loud laugh that shocked him back into reality; he smiled at her and shook his head.

"…Well…that was a massive fail…who's up for pizza?" Michael laughed playfully punching Cas's arm. Cas stuck his tongue out at his brother making Lily laugh again. She leaned up against one of the counters and finally felt the calm settle over her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and knew it was Cas. Her eyes opened and she smiled, easing the worried look in his eyes.

"Pizza's ordered…now…there is something we need to talk about. Cassie…you're still grounded…no arguments baby brother…and as much as I trust you two…Lily you need your own room while you live here. I'm going to call off work tomorrow and clean out the office for you," Michael explained leaning against the other counter.

"But you use that for your work Michael…I can't take that!" She argued and he held a hand up to stop her rant.

"No arguments from you either…there's plenty of room in my bedroom for my office stuff. Cas, you and I will go get Lily's stuff from her house…but we won't be able to get any of your furniture," Michael bit his lip.

"That's fine…I wasn't overly attached to it…the only things I care about are my backpack…all my school stuff is in it and so are the forms, my dad's photo albums and camera which are in a box in the back of my closet," Lily explained wringing her hands together. She felt guilty that they were willing to do this for her…if only she could go with them to make things less awkward when going through her stuff. Michael would never allow that, she knew that without asking.

"Ok…pizza should be here any moment…we'll leave right after."

* * *

To say Castiel was anxious would be a major understatement. Michael's car pulled to a stop in front of Lily's house and his older brother heaved a heavy sigh.

"Alright, lets get this over with…" he grumbled before getting out of the car. Castiel followed close behind and pretty much hid behind him as the door swung open. A woman in her late 40's answered the door, her eyes narrowing at them.

"Can I help you?" She asked with annoyance. Cas peaked around Michael to get a better look at the woman…Lily had the same hair color but there was no other similarities between mother and daughter. Everything he found adorable and endearing in his best friend must have come from her father.

"My name is Michael Novak, I'm Castiel's older brother. Your daughter Lily…"

"What did the little bitch do this time?" The woman snarled and Castiel bit down hard on his lip to keep from saying anything.

"She did nothing Ma'am…we're just here to get a few of her things…I've allowed her to come stay with us for a little while and she needs her school supplies and clothes," Michael explained. Her mother glared at him but let them in regardless. Castiel had expected the door to be slammed in their faces…he was relieved when they were able to walk inside. He glanced over to his left, where the living room was, and saw Brian getting up from the couch. Giving both him and Michael a hard look.

"You're that boy she's always with…" He stated getting a little to close. Michael stood between them and made Brian shrink a little.

"Would you mind showing or at least telling us where Lily's room is please?" Michael asked politely but Cas could hear the strain in his words.

"First room down the hall," Brian answered not taking his eyes away from Michael. His older brother nodded his thanks before pulling Cas quickly away, closing the door behind them. Castiel quickly glanced around the room; it was pretty bare for a teenager. He tried to not dwell on it as he yanked open the closet door. Sure enough in the back was a box labeled "Dad". He pulled it out and placed it on the bed. He found an empty flattened box in the closet as well. Once he got it opened he started to drop her clothes down into it. Everything was able to fit including her shoes.

Michael found her backpack on her desk chair, Castiel watched as he gingerly opened her desk drawers, glancing quickly through the top layer to see if she needed any of it. There was a small makeup bag that he pulled out and shoved into one of the pocket along with a slender pencil box. Cas stared at that box…he'd seen it before…it was the same thing he saw Lily pull out of her locker a couple of days ago.

When Michael moved away to go through something else Cas moved over and pulled the box out, slowly unlatching it. He let out a groan when he saw the razors and exacto knives. Before Michael could see, he shoved the box into his back pocket.

It took about 15 minutes but they managed to get most of her stuff, thank god she had kept boxes in her room. Michael had just left the room when Cas heard an aggravated sound from behind him. He looked over his shoulder and froze…her mother stood in the doorway glaring at him.

"So you're the one who turned my daughter into a whore…she thinks she's so smart…sneaking out of the house…to what? Be with you? My daughter never did have any taste…but you must have something make her such a wanton slut," She said through clenched teeth. He felt his blood go cold from her words…he swallowed thickly turning his body to face her.

"Lily is not a whore…or a slut. She's my best friend," Castiel said trying to calm down his breathing. Now he knew how Lily felt when people bullied him at school. He wanted to charge this woman and shut her mouth for her.

"That's what she would like you to believe sweetheart…why don't you ask her how many boys she's been with…We had to leave our last home because of that bitch…" She snarled taking a step closer to Castiel. Michael appeared behind her and cleared his throat, making her jerk to her left.

"Thank you for letting us come in, we'll be leaving now. Cassie…let's go," Michael ordered. Cas snatched up the duffel bag and hurried out of the room and damn near ran to Michael's car.

* * *

It was Sunday and Michael had finally ungrounded Castiel enough to let both of them go to the pond. It took nearly all weekend but they managed to get the office cleaned out and for the moment she had to sleep on an air mattress…it didn't matter because she always found her way back into Cas's room. Michael had promised that the next weekend they'd go Idea to get a few pieces of furniture. Lily had argued with him until he finally agreed to go to goodwill first.

Lily smiled when they finally got to the pond, claiming it as their spot from then on. She took her shoes off and even though it was a bit chilly, she dropped her feet into the water after sitting down on one of the rocks. Castiel sat down next to her and sighed.

"Lil…when…we got your stuff I found something…I didn't let Michael see it but…" Cas started. He pulled out the thin box from his back pocket; Lily gasped and stared at him with wide eyes.

"Cas…I…" tears pooled in her eyes and Cas quickly took her hand.

"Lily…I swear I know what it feels like…to not be able to handle everything that goes on inside. That this," he ran his finger up his own scarring, "feels like it's the only thing you can control…but you have me now. Let me be your outlet…don't do this anymore…please?" Castiel begged gripping her hand tighter. She closed her eyes and bit her lip, after a few moments she nodded.

He stood up and pulled her with him, putting the box in her hands. He gestured out to the water and waited. Her fingers clung onto the box as she fought to control her ragged breathing. She looked up into his face and let out a little smile before chucking the box, letting it soar and fall right into the middle of the pond.

"Mine is in there as well…Michael made me throw mine after I moved here. He had found it while I was unpacking. He didn't even try to force me to tell him why I did it…that's how I knew I could trust him and rely on him to help me when I felt the urge…" Castiel explained taking Lily's hand.

"I trust you too Cas…I promise I'll come to you first," she let out a deep breath and leaned against him, letting the soft autumn air surround them.


	8. 8 Finding the Light in all that Darkness

Lily hummed softly along with the music that echoed off the walls of the dance room as she stretched her body. Her routine was a little tricky and she was spending most of her time after school here. It didn't matter though; Cas was meeting up with the drama club.

It was October and the last month and a half was the best Lily had ever felt. She was officially moved in with Michael and Cas; her room now furnished and painted a very pale blue. That shopping trip was so much fun and getting to splash paint on the brothers was even better.

As time went on Lily found herself really hating Mrs. Braeden and really wishing she had the option to choose dance. She had been watching the girls practice one afternoon with so much envy when Mrs. Harvelle snuck up on her. They started to talk and soon Lily found herself dancing for Jo.

"Lily…you have so much talent. Why didn't you sign up for dance?" Jo asked handing her a bottle of water.

"The counselor said it was too late to audition so I just let it go," Lily explained taking a huge gulp of water. Jo nodded her head and chewed on her lip mulling over something in her mind.

"Well…you have way too much talent for me to let you waste it in that class…don't get me wrong, I love photography but that woman should not be teaching it…" Jo rolled her eyes and Lily couldn't help but giggle.

The very next day she was called into the counselors office and she was switched into Jo's second period advanced contemporary class. It was like a light exploded in Lily when she danced in front of the class…she had to prove to her classmates that she was worth the trouble of catching up with the routines. Her classmates accepted her whole-heartedly, especially a girl that she now considered a dear friend, Charlie Bradbury. She was the nerdiest girl she had ever met but when she danced, she captivated the whole room.

She forced Charlie to eat with her, Cas and Balthazar that day at lunch and the boys took her in with no hesitation. Even the quiet writer Chuck Shurley even joined them, ditching his own friends to have heated discussions with Charlie about which fantasy books and movies were better.

Lily had gotten worried one day when she was going to dance that Cas would feel left out or behind…though they had their new friends…she needed to help Cas find something he could loose himself in like she had.

So when their art teacher Mrs. Barnes had pulled Castiel to the side and asked if he would like to join the stage crew for their drama club…Lily jumped up agreeing for him, getting a shocked and nervous glance from her best friend.

"Cas, this is going to be awesome! You get to paint and create amazing pieces for the stage productions! Hell you can probably even do the back drops for our recitals!" Lily said excitedly holding onto his hand.

"But…what if it's horrible and…"

"No Cas…. your artwork is fucking amazing and I will not let you put yourself down anymore! This is your chance to show all those assholes that you are amazingly talented…please Cas you have to do this!" Lily bit on her lip and gave him her best pout. He laughed and finally agreed, signing the form to join. Mrs. Barnes mouthed a thank you to her and Lily grinned, pulling Cas out of the classroom by his arm.

All in all, things were better…both of them were happy and Michael was ecstatic that his little brother was getting involved and finding new friends. Not that he didn't love Lily but he was just so happy Castiel was coming out of his shell finally. He had thanked Lily for that almost every day. Lily usually just shrugged and gave him a wink.

Lily felt herself smiling remembering the look on his face when he brought her into the drama room too look at his work. They were doing a very tamed version of RENT and Lily fell in love with the backdrops Castiel had created. She felt like she was actually there in the grungiest parts of New York.

"You know you should audition to play Mark," Lily said running her fingers gingerly over one of the canvases. Castiel dropped his paintbrush and had stared at her, mouth hanging open.

"What? I'm serious…I've heard you sing Cas…and you're so much like him it's pretty scary…messy hair, glasses, caring about others before yourself…I swear you could be twins," Lily grinned at him when he blushed. Thankfully Mrs. Barnes had heard all of this and jumped at the chance. Adam Milligan was trying to get his hands on the part and she couldn't let him have it…but he was the only one who auditioned well enough for it.

"Mrs. Barnes…I can't!" Cas swallowed thickly backing away from the two of them.

"I told you before, when you're here, it's Pam…and you will. Milligan doesn't fit the part…you do. It's just the three of us…sing this for me…please?" She begged handing him the sheet music to "Halloween". Cas sighed heavily and closed his eyes, Lily smiled at him encouragingly. She knew he didn't need to read the music; he had the soundtrack from the original cast and the movie. It took a moment but he finally opened his mouth and sang the song so perfectly Lily got tears in her eyes. Pam clapped her hands and dubbed him the new Mark Cohen but she had to promise he would also get to keep helping out with the backdrops.

"I'm so proud of you!" Lily practically shrieked wrapping her arms around him. He hugged her tightly and sighed. They held onto to each other until a very nasally voice called out to them, pulling them apart.

"Aw Clarence…you got a girlfriend?" A dark haired girl asked walking into the room.

"Um…Meg this is Lily, Lil this is Meg…she's playing the part of Maureen," Cas explained looking away shyly. Lily tried to smile at her but she felt as if she was hit in the gut. Maureen was Marks ex g/f…. and by the way she saw Meg looking at Cas…Meg had interest. Something flared inside and she was instantly pissed off.

"Hello there Lily…well Mark…I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other," She grinned before walking away, swaying her hips a bit. Lily's face turned red and it wasn't from embarrassment. Cas looked up at her with a frown and she tried to shrug it off as nothing. But that feeling stayed with her and intensified every time she saw Meg anywhere near Cas. She even had tried to join them at lunch a few times but Lily had glared at her until she finally left. Cas tried talking to her once about it but she brushed him off, changing the subject. Their other friends weren't so easily swayed…they kept picking at it until she finally had to confess to at least Charlie.

"You have to tell him Lily…he thinks you're mad at him," Charlie whispered as Jo walked around the room helping the other girls with their turns. Lily and Charlie were warming up for their duet in the back corner. Lily pushed her hair up into a high ponytail and sighed heavily.

"I can't Char…I can't just admit that…seeing him with another girl boils my blood. He'll take it the wrong way and our friendship will be ruined…I can't do that!" Lily complained rubbing her face, making a disgusted noise when she realized she just smeared her eyeliner. Charlie couldn't help but laugh at her.

"Babe, I'm sorry to burst your self doubting bubble but Cas feels the same way for you…you should see his face when Balthazar wraps his arm around you. Or that other day when he kissed your cheek, I thought he was gonna explode with how red he got. And do you really think he'd touch that nasty Meg when he has you? Come on…get real," Charlie laughed bending over to make sure her dance shoes were tied tightly. Lily closed her eyes and pushed all thoughts of Cas and nasty Meg from her mind.

That was earlier…and now Lily was warming up to practice for her solo while Cas was rehearsing with the rest of the cast. Even though she couldn't control the overwhelming jealousy she felt, it made her so happy with how things were going for the both of them.

She reached over and turned her mp3 player to her song and let the music take over, moving her body effortlessly.

* * *

Cas wiped the sweat from his brow and found himself smiling ear to ear. He never would have guessed how good it would feel to stand on a stage and sing. He didn't feel like himself, he really felt like he was Mark at those moments. Lily had been right; they were so alike it was easy to consume himself with the character. Even the dancing part he had to do with the girl playing Joanne didn't bother him so much anymore. Especially when Lily offered to help him practice it. He felt himself smile even wider thinking about his best friend.

He couldn't wait to see her perform the solo she'd been working so hard on…he tried to catch a peek but she always threw something at him until he would leave. He knew what song she was dancing to and Ms. Harvelle even agreed to him painting the back drop for her…it was going to be so awesome.

Castiel walked over to his backpack, pulling out his water bottle. Something flew out and landed on the ground by his feet. He snatched it up and smiled widely.

It was a photo strip from when they went to the arcade last weekend. Balthazar, Chuck and Charlie had joined them and in one of the pictures all five of them had crammed inside. But his favorite was of him and Lily alone, his arms wrapped around her shoulders, her kissing his cheek but looking at the camera. His eyes were down cast but with a huge smile on his face.

His smile faded when he glanced at the 2nd picture. It was of just Lily and Balthazar…he remembered with great annoyance how he had been pretty much yanked out of the booth by Balthazar. In the picture he was playfully biting Lily's cheek and she was laughing. He shouldn't care…it shouldn't make his stomach so knotted up he felt sick…she was just his friend…but at the same time…they weren't _just_ friends anymore….

Somewhere along the way they had become more to each other but he didn't know what it was exactly. He had a feeling…that she might be feeling the same way. He saw it written all over her face when Meg tried to sit with them at lunch or when she saw them talking after rehearsal. He tried to talk to her about it but she always just pushed it away. He even tried asking Charlie but she only patted his shoulder, telling him to drag it out of Lily.

Their friendship was never dragged down by it thank god, if anything it made them even more inseparable. He had been scared at first when Lily joined dance and instantly clicked with Charlie. Lily wouldn't abandon him or try to replace him, he knew that but it didn't stop him from having nightmares about it.

Lily was always there to convince him that his nightmares would never come true, that she wasn't going anywhere.

"Hi Clarence," Meg whispered against his ear, startling him so much he nearly fell over. The photo strip falling to the floor again; Meg bent down scooping it up.

"Aw…they make a cute couple," she teased pointing to the one of Balthazar and Lily. Cas felt his face burn and he snatched it away from her.

"Oooh someone's jealous," She laughed crossing her arms across her stomach. Cas ignored her, sliding the picture back into the front of his binder.

"What do you want Meg?" he asked as he pulled his backpack on, he was done rehearsing for the day and was caught up on the stage crew assignments. Now all he had to do was wait for Lily then they would walk home together.

"Oh I was just wondering who you were taking to the Halloween dance this weekend?" Meg grinned up at him, taking a step closer. Cas stared at her and frowned…the dance? Someone was actually asking him? As much as that kind of excited him…she wasn't the one he would even consider going with.

"Um…haven't really thought about it…" he answered before heading to the door. Meg grabbed his arm and pulled him back, her face inches away from his.

"Why don't you go with me then?" She whispered, her lips moving slowly towards him. Cas froze, wanting to pull away but didn't really know how too without hurting Meg's feelings.

The look on Lily's face from earlier came crashing into his mind and he took a step away from her.

"No thanks Meg…I have to go," Cas stammered and hurried out of the Drama room, his heart beating frantically in his chest. She almost kissed him! He knew he should be feeling ecstatic but he couldn't…she wasn't who he wanted.

Cas shook his head as he made his way to the next building that Lily was in…he could hear her music through the hall way and he grinned…He had no idea what the routine was going to be like but he had heard Ms. Harvelle tell Lily that she loved how different it was and people wouldn't be expecting it. He bit on his lip and snuck a look through the slight opening of the door.

Lily was lost in the music; her eyes closed and sweat dripping down her face and chest. Cas had to swallow hard against the dryness in his throat. He still was trying to get used to seeing so much of Lily's skin. She had finally started to wear other things than her sweater, no longer afraid of what Cas would say about her scars. Or Michael for that matter. Charlie had seen them the first time she worn a short sleeved shirt but didn't make a comment. Just touched them gently to show Lily that she wasn't put off or disgusted by them.

But now…she was in tight stretch pants and a dark blue tank top, showing so much of that pale ivory skin, it made Cas's heart skip a few beats.

Her music stopped and she stilled her movements, her body swaying a bit as she brought herself down from that high. He watched in awe as she finally came back to herself, her bright green eyes nearly glowing. She took in a deep breath and slumped down to the floor, her head resting on her bent knees. Cas walked into the room as quietly as he could, grabbing her water bottle off the bench before making his way to her.

"How much did you see?" She asked looking up at him. He expected her to be pissed but she just looked tired and blissed out. He sat down in front of her and handed her the water.

"Not much…just the last few seconds. I wish you would let me watch…" Cas bit his lip; his eyes memorized with the sweat sliding down her collarbone and disappearing into her cleavage…something he never even noticed until now. He cleared his throat and ran his fingers through his hair. She gave him an amused smile before letting out a little laugh.

"Then that would ruin the surprise…you already know the song and have painted me my gorgeous back drop which everyone is super jealous of…including Charlie. I can't wait until the recital though…me and Jo put the final touches on my costume today," Lily grinned at him.

"I offered to do one for Charlie but she said no," Cas grinned shrugging his shoulders. He never knew how much people would like his artwork…he had never really shown anyone. Lily had brought out so much in him, it was sometimes overwhelming.

"I know…I feel bad for saying this but I'm kinda glad…I'll be the first and only one with one of your back drops at the show. God this is gonna be one hell of a week…I'll be surprised if we get any of our freaking homework done," She laughed and Castiel just shrugged. This week would be insanely busy and it was only Monday…her dance recital was on Thursday and Friday was the first show for their production of RENT. They had only a few more days left and he was starting to grow nervous. Saturday was the Halloween dance…which reminded him.

"Um…so…Meg asked me to the Halloween dance…" Cas stated watching Lily's face closely. Her skin turned a bright shade of red and her eyes narrowed at him, making him smirk just a little bit. He'd been right…

"And? Are…are you going with her?" She forced out, her hand rubbing the back of her neck.

"I told her I hadn't really thought about it…and no I'm not going with her," Cas replied. Lily nodded and he could tell she was trying so hard to keep a smile off of her face.

"Good…I really can't stand her," She grumbled out. Before he could reply she was on her feet and hurrying over to the bench, roughly shoving her stuff into her duffel bag. Cas bit his lip and followed, sitting down watching her.

"Lil…do you want to go?" He asked quietly. She froze and glanced at him, her eyes wide.

"With me…I mean," he added when she didn't answer. Her face broke out into a grin and nodded.

"Yeah! It'll be fun!" She bounced a little on her feet and Cas let out a loud laugh.

"Great…um…we don't have costumes though…or really any time to find ones," He admitted but she shook her head excitedly.

"No we don't…but we happen to have an amazing friend who does cosplay and has a room for just costumes," Lily grinned at him pulling out her cell phone. Cas frowned…was she talking about Balthazar? He knew the guy loved dressing up for the renaissance fair and such…

"Char! We're coming over right now and you have to help us with costumes for the dance! Yes we're going…seriously? She asked you? That's awesome! Well…we don't exactly have a car…ok we'll be out front. Thank you!" Lily beamed at him. He sighed with relief when he heard her say Charlie's name.

"Come on, Balthazar's gonna pick us up to go to Charlie's…I've been dying to see some of these costumes she talks about!" She grabbed his hand and her bag, practically dragging him out of the room.

* * *

Cas glared at the back of Balthazar's head…trying to make himself feel guilty over it but just couldn't. When he pulled up in his mom's old car, he had wolf whistled at Lily. She looked down at herself and blushed, forgetting she was still in a pretty revealing tank top.

"Lily…you should show more skin all the time…you look gorgeous," Balth said teasingly as they pulled out of the school. Lily blushed even more and didn't say anything. Cas pulled off his flannel and handed it up to her. She looked back at him shyly before pulling it on, silently thanking him with her eyes.

Now they were in a room with Charlie's very flamboyant older brother Ryon who agreed to help the boys while Charlie helped Lily and a new addition to their group…Ruby. A girl he had heard Charlie talk about several times and apparently they were going to the dance with each other now. Lily hadn't lied about the costumes…there were so many and were amazing! Balthazar spun around in his Victorian era outfit. The siblings made the decision for them all to go in a steam punk theme, which Cas had no clue about but he couldn't wait to see Lily in her costume.

"Ok now you're turn Castiel…hmmm…oh I have the perfect thing for you! It's going to make your eyes pop and your girlfriend is going to drool," Ryon smirked pulling out several things from the closet. Cas stared at him and before he could reply Balthazar let out a loud snort.

"Cas has a girlfriend? Is it Meg?" Balth teased pulling off his coat.

"I thought you were dating Charlie's friend Lily?" Ryon asked raising his brow in confusion.

"No…not Meg…and Lily and I are just best friends…" Cas stammered his face burning even darker. Ryon plopped the clothes down on his lap and knelt down to look at Cas.

"Just best friends? That's not what Charlie describes when she talks about you two…I think there is some hidden feelings there," Ryon grinned at Cas before getting back up.

"…is there Castiel?" Balth asked eyeing him carefully. Cas swallowed hard…he knew if he said no Balth would definitely keep flirting with her, slowly killing him in the process. But if he said yes…would Balth hate him? Even though he was constantly plotting his demise…he really didn't want to loose Balth as a friend…he really was a good guy when he wasn't hitting on Lily.

"I…y-yes…" Cas wrung his hands together not looking at Balth. His friend knelt down in front of him and sighed heavily.

"I'll admit…I really like Lily but…I can't get between you guys. Not even if I tried…Castiel…really…everyone knows that you two like each other. I mean have you SEEN her face when Meg comes around? I thought she was gonna kill the poor girl at lunch," Balthazar laughed shaking his head. Castiel felt the relief wash over him and let out a breath he'd been holding.

"Cassie…we're not girls…we're bros," Balth smiled slapping him on the back.

"You know…you're the only one other than my brother allowed to call me that," Cas smiled up at him, getting another laugh.

"All right Castiel…your turn…go get dressed," Ryon grinned.

* * *

"Bye Ruby! Thanks for the ride!" Lily called out waving her hand as the car pulled away. Spending the last couple of hours with Charlie and Ruby was a lot of fun…the new comer to their group was laid back and seemed to be completely infatuated with Charlie… it made Lily extremely happy for her. Trying on the dresses was awesome and when they finally picked out her costume Lily felt like a totally different person…and she knew it would make Cas sweat…just a little bit.

"Did you have fun?" Lily asked as they made their way to the door. Castiel had been quiet the entire ride home…he didn't seem upset just lost in thought. He looked up at her and smiled, giving her a small nod.

"Come on…neither of us have homework tonight so that means you're watching both Hellboy's with me…no arguments!" She grinned pulling him inside.

"Hey guys! I have to go in the office tonight…their entire servers crashed and I'm the only tech not on vacation…behave and pizza's on the counter. Night guys!" Michael called out rushing past them. Giving them hurried hugs on the way. Lily laughed calling out a good bye.

"I'll take our bags up…can you grab me a soda?" Cas asked reaching out for Lily's bags. She handed them over and made her way into the garage, pulling out a few sodas to last them the night. Putting the extras into the main fridge; she grabbed a few plates plopping a few pieces on both. She placed their food and drinks on the coffee table as Cas sank down into the couch. Lily put the movie in and dropped down next to him, their shoulders pressed together.

"Ok Cas…what's wrong?" she asked as the DVD's previews started to play.

"Nothings wrong…just thinking about stuff is all. I had a lot of fun today," He smiled softly at her and she eyed him for a minute. He stuck his tongue out and she giggled.

"You're a brat," she playfully shoved at him, moving to sit up. He poked her in the side and she yelped slapping at his hand. Cas gave her a devious look, poking her again and she squirmed, batting his hands away again. She tried to move away from him but he followed, wrapping his arms around her middle to tickle her.

"Cas! Stop!" she laughed trying to get away but only ended up knocking them both off the couch.

"Shit you ok?" Cas laughed, his hands on either side of her head and his legs between hers. Lily felt her gut flip a little as he looked down at her. She bit her lip and nodded, keeping her eyes locked on his.

"You ok?' She asked in a hushed whisper, her hands nervously and slowly going up his arms and down his sides. His whole body shuddered and she tried to hold back the grin but failed miserably.

"Lily…" He swallowed hard and she couldn't stop herself. One of her hands cupped the back of his neck, pulling him down so their lips met. When they finally touched an electric shock passed through their bodies making them both gasp.

Lily felt Cas's arms start to shake from holding himself up, her hand that was still on his side moved to his hip and gently pulled him down to lay down, pressing their bodies tightly together. Cas pulled away a little to gaze down at her and she smiled up at him, biting on her lip.

"You ok?" he asked his voice quivering a bit from nerves. She ran her hands down his back trying to soothe him and nodded. Lifting her head she brushed her lips against his and he let out a shudder. He pressed down, kissing her firmly on the mouth. They stayed that way for what felt like hours…it felt so perfect with Cas. It wasn't rushed or frantic…she loved kissing him and it was just the tip of the iceberg.

"Hey you guys still up!" Michael's voice rang though the house and they broke away quickly. Both of them scrambling to get on the couch but not sitting close together. The nerves settling in at what they had just done…and what it meant for their friendship.

"Uh…we're in here," Cas timidly called out, his face turning a lovely shade of red. His brother walked in and looked between them, a small smile on his face.

"Sorry to interrupt but it was an easier fix than they thought…I'm gonna go to bed…you two should do the same…night guys," Michael smirked at them before heading off to his bedroom. Lily swallowed hard and cast a quick glance over at Cas. He was sitting on the edge of the couch, nervously wringing his hands together.

"Cas…I…um…" She started, scooting a little closer to him. Her heart wrenched when he moved to stand up, starting to pace a bit. She dug her nails into her arm…trying to keep the panic from rising to the surface. She'd been right…he didn't want this…and now she made it awkward between them…

She got up from the couch and rushed past him to her room, locking it behind her.

It was the first night in months she actually stayed in her own bed.

* * *

Castiel went to bed that night with a knot in his stomach…which seemed to get tighter by the time he woke the next morning. God he hated himself so much…he tried to get Lily out of her room but she wouldn't answer but he could hear her crying…he fucking made her cry again. What the hell was wrong with him? He liked her…and now he knew without a doubt she liked him…. so what was the problem? He rubbed at his tired eyes, he barely slept…he was too used to having Lily sleeping next to him.

There was a knock at his door; Michael poked his head in before stepping inside.

"So…what's going on with you and Lily? And don't play stupid with me Cassie…she got up before any of us and left for school already. She's never done that…and she's wearing that damn sweater again…" Michael said accusingly. Cas stared up at him and pushed the sudden rush of anxiety eating away at him.

"She um…we…kissed last night," Cas admitted.

"Ok…was it bad or something?" Michael asked. Cas sat up against his headboard and closed his eyes.

"No…it was…it was amazing but I freaked out when you came home. I didn't know how you'd react since she lives here now and…I didn't exactly react well when Lily tried to talk to me. She locked herself in her room and wouldn't let me in when I tried to apologize…" Cas opened his eyes. Michael shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Cas…listen. I've known from the first night she slept over that you two would become much more than just friends. I trust you both…neither of you have made me regret my choice of letting her live here…but Cas…you gotta stop running away from what you feel towards her. She loves you…more than she's probably willing to admit and I know you love her…you two are so perfect for each other it's almost sickening…just…try talking to her please? Don't let her shut you out. Now get up and get ready," Michael demanded. He squeezed Cas's knee before leaving.

He got ready quickly, trying to plan out the conversation he would have with Lily…all the possible outcomes that could happen…. including the very horrible ones. He pushed down his guilt, anxiety and fear…pulling onto the hopeful feeling that he hadn't lost her…she would forgive him…he knew she would. He just had to get her there before her recital…it was her first one and he couldn't ruin that for her.

Michael dropped him off and he rushed out of the car with a hurried goodbye. Balthazar, Charlie and Ruby were standing outside of the school. He froze when Charlie threw him an angry look as he approached.

"Come on Ruby," She grumbled grabbing the girl's hand and pulling her inside. Balthazar gave him a small smile wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

"Cassie…it's not a real good idea to piss off the girls first thing in the morning…" he said and Cas's head dropped.

"What did she tell you?" he asked as Balth pushed him inside, guiding him over to his locker.

"Nothing, I didn't even see her. Charlie was here helping with costumes for Ms. Harvelle when Lily stormed in…and from what Charlie said, Lily wouldn't talk to her, just grabbed the stereo and went into one of the private rooms. You better hope Charlie gets to talk to her 2nd hour or she's going to kill you," Balthazar explained leaning against the lockers as Cas emptied out his backpack.

"She kissed me last night…and I kissed her back," Cas whispered pounding his head against the metal door. Balth stared at him with wide eyes.

"What?! Wait…then what's the problem? Were you bad or something?"

"No! I just…my brother came home and I reacted badly when she tried to talk to me. She won't even let me talk to her…ugh!" Cas slammed the door shut and covered his face, wanting so badly to cry. Balth squeezed his shoulder.

"Buddy…just give her some time…she'll come around. You hurt her pride but that won't stop her from being your friend…she's too stubborn for that. Come on…"

"I'm gonna go try talking to her…I'll be back," Cas rushed off, hurrying towards the Arts department that connected dance, art, band, etc in a building that was separate from the main school. He stepped inside and bit his lip…he knew where the classroom was but no idea where the private practice rooms were. He walked down the hallway when someone grabbed his arm, spinning him around.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Charlie's growled at him. He'd never seen her angry before and it was damn scary…

"I need to talk to her Charlie…please," He nearly begged. Charlie shook her head and led him out of the building.

"No…she needs to be alone…she hasn't told me what happened but I can tell…the music she's dancing too…Jesus…now go. If you're lucky she'll talk to you at lunch…" Castiel stared at her as she closed the door on him. Cas rubbed his face in frustration, heading towards his first hour.

The wait until lunch was terrible…he couldn't sit still nor could he focus on anything the teachers were saying. It was killing him to know how much it hurt Lily with the way he acted…but then again if she had done the same thing towards him…he didn't know what he would have done.

He joined Balth and Chuck on the way to the cafeteria, chatting idly with them, keeping his eyes out for Lily. He sighed heavily when he couldn't find her…. Meg on the other hand found him and was walking over.

Without saying a word she grabbed his face and pushed her lips against his, he put his hands on her shoulders trying to pull away but she wouldn't let go. He heard the gasps around him…one sharper than the others. That sound hit him down in his gut and prayed it didn't come from the person he thought it was. Meg finally let him go with a grin on her face.

"Well, Well…was that so bad sweetheart?" Meg drawled, turning on her heel and walking away. Balth was staring past him with a pained look that made him spin around. Lily stood behind him with tears in her eyes, her hands hiding in the sleeves of her sweater…it was that small gesture that speared through his heart. She hadn't done that in so long.

"Lil! Wait!" He cried out as she spun and stalked off towards the arts building. He tried to go after her but Charlie held him back with a hand on his chest.

"What the hell is going on Castiel? You chose that slut bag over Lily?!" She shouted and Cas shook his head fervently.

"No! I didn't want Meg to kiss me! I swear!" Cas protested but Charlie just shook her head moving away from him. "Charlie! Please…I don't' know what to do!"

Charlie looked at him and huffed out a dramatic sigh, "Just give her some space Castiel…I'll try to talk to her…you swear that you didn't want too?"

"I swear…" Cas bit so hard on his lip it began to bleed. Charlie patted his shoulder and gave him a short nod, heading in the same direction Lily ran off to.

* * *

Lily stormed into the dance portion of the building and locked herself in a private room again. Why was everything going so wrong? Everything had been wonderful and perfect…then she had to kiss him…her best friend that she would rather die then loose.

She had woken that morning not being able to handle what was racing through her mind. Now that her supplies were resting at the bottom of the pond…she didn't' really have anything to expel all the self-loathing drowning her. She knew the school opened obnoxiously early…she could escape to there and not have to face Cas…she pulled on her hoodie and didn't bother to fix her hair as she hurried into the kitchen. Michael was already up and instantly grew worried when he saw the sweater which she thought was ridiculous…it was just a piece of clothing…she turned down his offer to take her into the school and took off.

She felt bad…Michael had been nothing but kind and loving too her but she hurt his brother…made him do something he obviously didn't want.

Blaring her music and dancing to the sadder songs of Mumford and Sons, she put her entire body and soul into it until she was exhausted and didn't feel the need to mark herself.

Charlie tried talking to her but she didn't want to bring it up…it didn't matter anyway. She'd talk to Cas at lunch and they would work out whatever it was between them.

Then she saw Meg…that stupid bitch kissing Cas…and he made no move to stop her.

"Well, Well…was that so bad sweetheart?" What the hell had that meant? Did she kiss him before? Was it when she asked him to the dance? Did he actually like her? Lily let out a frustrated shout as the tears started to pour down her cheeks. She couldn't handle this…she didn't know how. The door to her room opened and a mass of red hair peeked in.

"Not now Char…just leave me alone," Lily said thickly rubbing at her face with her sleeves.

"Not this time babe…you're gonna talk to me. What the hell is going on with you two? You do know that Meg forced that on him right?" Charlie asked pulling Lily to sit on the floor with her. Lily scrunched up her face and shrugged, pulling her knees to her chest.

"Oh be real Lily…Meg is a slut and Castiel is too smart and classy of a guy to even want that. Now spill."

"We…kissed last night. And I don't think he wanted too…cause after his brother came home…I tried to talk to him he just freaked out. He wouldn't even look at me…so I just locked myself in my room…I thought if I just got my head on straight I would talk to him today at lunch and then I saw that…ugh it just ripped me up inside," Lily explained. Charlie reached out rubbing her back gently.

"You two are probably the dumbest people I have had the honor of calling my best friends…seriously…you like him, he likes you…you finally kiss and then run away from each other? I thought we were better than this kind of drama?" Charlie accused making Lily laugh. It was true…this was useless drama and now Lily was beyond embarrassed…she didn't know if she could even face Cas now.

"Can I stay at your house Char…just until I can breathe and get my thoughts in order? I can't…focus around him," She admitted, Charlie smiled and nodded.

"Of course…but before you hit that stage you need to talk to him…I am not doing our duet with you all mopey…come on."

* * *

It was Thursday…and Cas hadn't seen or really talked to Lily since Tuesday…had he been wrong thinking she would forgive him? Cas paced outside the school praying that she would show up. He saw a flash of red hair and stormed over.

"Charlie…"

"I've told you Castiel…she's fine…she's not mad at you…she's mad at herself and is crazy embarrassed…she won't believe me when I tell her you don't hate her…look I have to go and rehears…our show starts in a little over an hour…sorry Castiel," She said with a shrug before hurrying towards the Arts building. Castiel let out a frustrated sigh…tonight was supposed to a good one! He was finally getting to see her dance and tomorrow she would be sitting first row to watch him perform…Castiel knew what he had to do but he was scared she would push him away again.

After taking a moment to steel his nerve he rushed over to the building, wrenching the door open. He ignored the wary looks he got from several of the girls, he found the private rooms and heard the song he had grown to love. Before he could start to doubt himself again, he pulled open the door and stepped inside.

Lily stopped so suddenly she tripped over herself and fell on her butt.

"Oh my god are you ok?" Castiel asked rushing over to her. He knelt down and she looked up at him nodding slightly.

"Yeah…I'm ok, you just surprised me is all. What are you doing here?" she asked pulling her legs into her chest. Castiel swallowed hard and sat down so he could face her.

"I can't stand this Lil…you not talking to me…I'm sorry for how I acted when you…we kissed that night…it was stupid and I didn't mean to hurt you. I…really like you Lily…" Cas huffed out a laugh shaking his head, "That doesn't even explain how I feel…I truly think….i'm in love with you Lil…" Castiel explained and he knew it was true. He knew it from the moment he saw her on their first day of school. He knew it the first night she spent the night. It took Michael saying it for him to finally think about it…and now seeing her in front of him with her eyes so bright and focused on him…there was no question.

A small tear slid down her cheek and when he thought she was going to reject him she smiled.

"Cas…I'm so sorry for the way I've been acting…I was just so embarrassed," She said softly taking his hand in hers.

"It's ok…I just want us to go back to normal," Cas said softly. She nodded and smiled at him brightly.

"I love you too Cas…I think I have for a while now…I have to finish warming up…you're still gonna watch right?" She asked nervously. He nodded and kissed the back of her hand, making her smile.

"Of course Lil…Michael will be here too. Um…can I…can I kiss you for good luck?" Cas stammered his face turning a dark red. Lily leaned in closer and Cas let out a contended sigh when their lips touched softly. He brought his hand up to cup the side of her face, moving a little closer to her.

Her fingers ran though his hair making his body shiver a bit before she pulled away to smile at him.

"You have to go…I'll see you after," She whispered, the tips of her fingers grazing over his lips. He nodded and got to his feet, helping her up as well. He was about to leave but pulled her into a hug instead, clinging to her just a bit. She hid her face in the crook of his neck and he smelled the jasmines again…something he had greatly missed the past few days. They clung to each other for a few moments before they heard Jo calling out for everyone to start getting dressed.

"See you soon," Cas whispered in her ear forcing himself to pull away. He pecked her lips and before he could stop himself again he left the room with a huge smile on his face. Charlie was across the hall and smirked at him as he approached.

"Everything ok now?" She asked eyeing him. He nodded biting his lip with a huge grin. She laughed and pushed him towards the door.

* * *

"Hey Cassie!" Balthazar called out before plopping down in the chair next to him. Cas smiled and waved to Ruby who sat down beside Balth.

"Michael, these are my friends Balthazar and Ruby, she's Charlie's girlfriend…guys this is my older brother Michael," Cas pointed over to Michael sitting to his left. The older brother leaned forward and smiled.

"Aw, are those for Lily?" Ruby smirked pointing to the bouquet of blue tiger lilies in his lap. Cas felt his cheeks go crimson and nodded his head.

"Don't be embarrassed Cas," Ruby giggled pulling up a single dark red rose. He grinned at her; Balthazar looked between them and laughed.

"You two are so whipped," He snickered. Cas punched his arm and sat back against his chair.

"Are you two ok now?" Michael leaned down and whispered.

"Yeah, we talked…thanks for bringing these by the way…I was afraid they wouldn't get here in time," Cas smiled gratefully up at his brother. He had planned on this for a week…before all of their drama hit them. He knew Lily's favorite color was blue and as cliché as it was, Lilies were her favorite flower…other than Jasmines. None of their florists carried the blue tiger lilies so he had to special order them…he even got strands of star Jasmine to wrap around the stems of the Lilies. When he saw Michael carrying them his heart leapt, he was happy that he had made himself talk to her before the show…now the flowers would mean so much more to her.

"You're welcome baby bro…I'm just relieved you two talked…it's been too quiet in the house the past few days," Michael laughed quietly. Cas was about to say something but the house lights dimmed and Jo walked onto the stage. She walked across and took up the microphone handed to her.

"Welcome friends and family…this is our first recital of the school year and I can't tell you how ecstatic I am with how well these ladies are doing. Tonight you will see each class in a group routine, and then the ones who won the roles of solos and duets will be in between. Enjoy," She said with a bright smile. She exited from the stage and Cas let out a breath to calm his excited heart.

The dancers came on and the show started. Each dance was amazing, getting better and better as the more advanced students came on. Cas sat up a little straighter when Charlie and Lily came on to do their duet, it was to the song "I Will Wait" by Mumford and Sons. Cas found himself grinning ear to ear as he glanced over at Ruby who had tears in her eyes. He'd been so wrapped up in his own head to even realize how much the girls were into each other…or how badly they had crushed on the other. It hit him even harder when Lily found him in the second row, giving him a knowing smile.

He swallowed and realized that this was about him as well. The girls ended the piece with their backs pressed to each other with their arms outstretched towards the ceiling. The crowd erupted into applause and he joined in, but he couldn't help but reach across Balthazar to grip Ruby's hand, she smiled at him and covered her mouth to stop from giggling.

"Ugh…" Balthazar playfully groaned but wrapped his arm around Ruby, pulling her into a hug.

"For our last routine of the night is by a student who just recently joined in with our class. Her hard word and dedication proved to each of us that she deserved a solo and I am beyond proud to introduce Miss Lily Mosby to all of you," Jo stated from the right of the stage. Cas bit his lip and held his breath.

The curtains pulled back and he gasped, the stage was lit up in blue, making his backdrop seem extremely dark, which he knew it wasn't. He had painted their pond…with a huge full moon to give off light, making the water glitter in its glow. It confused him a little but when Lily stepped slowly on to the stage as the song "Shake it out," by Florence and the Machine came over the speakers his brain shut off. She had on a black filmy dress that flowed like water around her. Her pale skin shimmered against the blue lights and Cas was mesmerized, his heart pounding in his chest as her body flowed and moved with the music.

As the music began to build up she was in the center of the stage, her movements fighting against an invisible force with a pained look on her face.

_And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope_

_It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat_

'_Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me_

_Looking for heaven, found the devil in me_

Cas gasped as other dancers joined her on the stage, dressed in all black. They clung at her, pulling at her dress and she fought them. As the crescendo hit, the stage erupted into a bright light as her arms flung out, the 'demons' on the stage yanked off the black dress and a white one took its place. The backdrop glittered against the brighter light, the moon now looking like the sun. Finding the light in all that darkness. The dancers joined her for the last chorus, dancing perfectly together. They slipped away to let her continue on her own, being free of all her demons she shone so brightly. She ended with her back against the backdrop gazing up at the sun.

Cas didn't realize he had tears rolling down his face until the audience erupted into a roar and both Michael and Balthazar pulled him to his feet. He kept staring at the stage in complete awe…it was so much more than he could have ever expected. Jo brought them out by class to take their bows. The soloists and pairs taking a step forward to take a personal bow. When Lily took her turn the crowd got even louder and the smile on her face took Cas's breath away. She looked right at him and blew him a kiss before joining the rest of her class.

"That was amazing! Holy crap!" He heard Ruby shout over the applause, Cas couldn't even respond…he was still stunned. When they were able to finally leave their seats, Cas didn't wait for the others, he practically ran to the foyer where everyone was gathered to congratulate the dancers. He spun around trying to find her; it was like the crowd parted for him and she was suddenly there in front of him.

"Cas!" She called out with a huge smile. He rushed up to her and didn't let her speak, his mouth found hers and kissed her like he always dreamed he would. She let out a surprised gasp but kissed him back with as much enthusiasm, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

"Whoa…" he heard someone gasp behind them. He ignored it…he had Lily in his arms and that's all he cared about. She pulled away gently and tried to catch her breath as she let out a little laugh.

"I take it you liked it?" She grinned and he smiled back at her.

"That was beyond amazing Lil…I can't even begin to tell you what that did to me," He said pressing his forehead to hers. She kissed his cheek and hugged him tightly; he suddenly remembered the flowers gripped in his hand.

"I um…got these for you," he stammered, suddenly becoming shy. He glanced around and blushed as everyone glanced over with amusement…he even saw a few jealous stares but he stored that for later.

"Cas! Oh my god…these…where did you get these?" She squeaked…tears filling her eyes as she pressed her face gently into them to take a deep breath. "Oh wow…Jasmines too? Cas…this…I can't even," She shook her head and a few tears fell. He wiped them away gently with his thumb and smiled at her. She hugged him again and pressed her face into his neck…something he was beginning to get addicted too.

"Ok…I realllly need to find a girlfriend now," Balthazar grumbled and Cas looked over at him; he wasn't looking at them but glancing over to Charlie and Ruby in a clinging embrace. He laughed and wrapped his arms around Lily even tighter…they really did need to find someone for Balth.

"I don't want to pry you two away from each other but I really need to give you a hug," Michael said with a huge smile on his face. Cas let her go and bit his lip when Michael engulfed her in his arms.

"I am so proud of you Lily…that was beyond amazing little sister," Cas had to swallow around the huge lump in his throat when Lily clung on to his older brother. He was never more grateful for having Michael than he was at that moment.

"Ow!" He laughed when Charlie punched his arm before pulling him in for a hug.

"I know it sucked the past few days but honestly I'm glad it happened…she would have never danced like that if it hadn't…thanks bro," She grinned at him ruffling his hair. He blushed and bit his lip looking over at Lily still hugging onto Michael. She looked over at him and beamed, pure happiness and bliss written all over her face.

Things were only going to get better…they had too.

* * *

**Reviews= Love**


	9. Ch 9 No Day But Today

Warnings: raging teenage hormones…chapters from now on are gonna get a tad smutty. All mistakes are mine...I was pretty damn tired when I posted this.

This is gonna be a long one….

Dean will be introduced in a few chapters!

* * *

Lily watched as Michael left, a feeling of utter calmness cascading down through her body. The night had been so overwhelming but that moment when the bright light hit her on that stage, it all melted away and she felt an overpowering sense of relief. That number meant so many things…each demon that had joined her on the stage represented a fear of hers. The loss of her father and the crushing weight of numbness being the main ones…her feelings for Castiel had been one as well.

It seemed so embarrassingly silly now…especially with the way Cas had run up to her in the foyer…and those flowers! Michael had taken them with him so he could put them in water for her but not before she could pull one out one of the smaller lilies. With the help of Charlie she got the flower into her hair, Cas beaming at her the entire time.

She felt a hand in hers and she smiled, turning to face Castiel. He gave her a shy smile as his fingers threaded through hers.

"You ready?" He asked gesturing to where the girls were waiting for them at Ruby's car. They were going to celebrate the night with ice cream and Lily couldn't wait. She couldn't remember ever having this many friends before. When Charlie had demanded it she couldn't refuse…thankful she had thought ahead to bring extra clothes. She even managed to get almost half the glitter they had brushed on her to make her shimmer under the lights. Charlie joked about sneezing glitter for a year as she pulled on her favorite jeans. Black and tight that had a little flare near the bottom. She had pulled on her thin dark blue long sleeved flannel shirt before sticking her tongue out at Charlie. Her friend laughed at her, pulling her hood over her head.

Lily laughed and nodded, pulling a confused Cas towards the car.

"Hey you can't leave without me!" Balthazar called running over to them. He crashed right into Castiel knocking their hands apart and Lily had to laugh as Cas let out a squeak.

"Oh sorry Cassie!" Balth laughed roughing up his hair. Lily rolled her eyes and grabbed for Cas's hand again, pulling him into the backseat. Balthazar managed to squeeze himself in to the front, practically sitting in Charlie's lap. Lily snickered at them but was glad for it.

"I know I said this before…but you did so good tonight," Cas whispered against her ear and she smiled, her cheeks flushing just a bit. His arm wrapped around her, pulling her a little closer. Lily bit her lip before crawling into his lap, resting her back against the door.

"You did and thank you…I'm really glad you were there," She replied tracing her fingertips along his hand. Cas bit his lip watching their hands together, his free hand nervously resting on her leg.

"You're welcome and I can't believe you thought I wouldn't…no matter what happens I'll always be there to support you Lil," Cas smiled leaning in a bit before a nervous look crossed his face and pulled back.

"Cas…why are you shy all the sudden? You pretty much attacked me in the foyer," Lily giggled.

"I…I don't know really…" Cas laughed with a shrug, his face turning a bit red. It was lily's turn to bite her lip. She looked out the windows and realized they weren't too far from the ice cream parlor. Cupping the side of his face with her hand, she brought his face to hers, pressing their lips gently together. He let out a surprised noise but kissed her back, his free hand sub consciously moving higher up her leg. Lily noticed and couldn't help but grin against his lips, pulling him until his upper body was leaning against hers; the back of her head pressed up against the cool glass window. While her fingers moved up into his hair, his hand was just about to slide up to her ass when the car parked.

"Jesus you two! Break it up!" Charlie exclaimed with a huge smile on her face. Cas pulled away and his cheeks burned even darker. Lily giggled and waited for their friends to get out of the car before pulling Cas's face to hers again, giving him a slow kiss.

"I really like kissing you," Cas admitted when he pulled away again. His swollen lips curved into a sneaky smile and Lily felt her breath hitch. The look in his eyes was so heated it made her gut clench and she felt warmth pool between her legs. She swallowed hard and bit her lip.

"If we stay in here we'll never hear the end of it…come on," Lily mock grumbled, trying to ease down her body. She crawled out of the car and welcomed the cool air.

* * *

Castiel sat on his bed and couldn't stop grinning. The memory of Lily in his lap and their short make out session in the back seat kept playing over and over again. He was still trying to figure out that look Lily had given him right before they got out of the car. Whatever it was made his entire body react like an electric charge…his groin feeling the extent of it.

He wasn't as naïve as Balthazar or even his brother thought he was…he knew what sex was (thanks to free porn) and he even very occasionally touched himself. But this was so completely new, he had no idea what he was doing. When his hand kept sliding up her leg, he wasn't even really thinking but Lily didn't seem to mind. By her breathing he figured she liked it.

When they entered the ice cream parlor he had an internal freak out for a moment thinking that things would be weird but Lily just pulled him with her. Any chance she got she would snuggle up to his side or touch him in some small way. A hand on his arm, fingers tracing up his arm…Castiel loved it all and was very slowly getting addicted to all these little touches. He knew they were moving fast…they had only kissed and made up only a few hours before.

He was going to say something but when she crawled in his lap again to kiss him on their way home, the thought slipped his mind. The shyness he felt before came back in full force when he tried to get his hand to rest on her leg again but he just couldn't. So one hand cupped her jaw while his other arm acted as a pillow for her head.

Cas shook his head with a little laugh…if someone at the start of school had told him he would end up making out with a girl like Lily in the back of a car…he would have laughed.

He got up from his bed and pulled his clothes off, throwing them in the hamper. He was pulling up his pj pants when there was a soft knock on his door.

"Come in," He called out softly with a smile. Lily's head poked in and the smell of jasmines engulfed his senses. Her hair was still a bit damp from the shower.

"The next time I have the great idea of coating my skin with glitter…smack me," she joked sitting down on his bed. He let out a quiet laugh as he joined her; she turned her head to look at him and bit her lip. Suddenly he realized he hadn't put on a shirt…this was the first time she'd seen him without one. He swallowed hard and made to get up to put one on when her hand on his arm stopped him.

"You look good without one," She whispered, her fingers tentavily reaching out to brush over his chest slowly. Castiel's breath caught in his throat and licked his dry lips. Her fingers were a bit cold against his skin but he didn't care. Her body moved closer to him and he could feel the rise and fall of her chest against his arm. He pushed down a groan when she pulled away, watching her as she moved to lie down on his bed.

His pj pants got a little tight when his eyes roamed over her body. She had on very short stretch shorts, her already long legs looked even longer as she stretched out. The thin top she was wearing rode up and he swallowed hard at the flash of skin on her stomach. He missed the grin she was giving him and stretched a little more, getting the shirt to ride up even more.

He so badly wanted to touch her but was afraid she'd get pissed…he had no experience in this what so ever…the only girl he had kissed was 8th grade and it had been a dare to kiss the nerd boy who never talked to anyone. A mere peck on the lips and that was it.

He clenched his hands by his sides but continued to let his eyes roam over her, memorizing every detail. Jumping slightly at the feel of a hand against his own, he looked down to see her fingers wrapping around his wrist, gently pulling him forward.

"It's ok Cas," she whispered biting her lip. He felt her tremble a bit and was going to ask but his voice was gone when she placed his hand on her bare stomach. The electric shock was back and it went straight though his toes. She encouraged him to move his hand a bit higher until his fingers brushed along her ribcage in which she giggled.

"Careful…that's how all this started," She teased and he blushed.

"Lil…are you sure you're ok with this?" He asked. She sat up and he pulled his hand away quickly, afraid she had changed her mind. Her hand moved to touch the side of his face, pulling him in to kiss her. This one was different from the others. It was full of heat and he let out a little moan when he felt her tongue trace against his lips. He opened his mouth a bit to let her inside.

When their tongues met for the first time it was like every bit of hesitation and shyness flew out of the window. He crawled on the bed and moved to hover over her. Her hands moved down his chest, traced his stomach and were making their way back up to wrap around his neck.

"Cas," Lily gasped against his lips and she looked down with a grin. Cas's whole body flushed when he realized his erection was pressing against her leg. He closed his eyes and tried to move but Lily held him in place, placing a small kiss on his chin.

"Stop worrying, I will tell you if you're doing something wrong or need to stop…that though," Her eyes looked down at his crotch again, "…is a good thing," Lily gave him a devious smile and he shivered. The look she had given him earlier in the car made sense now. He had turned her on! He bit his lip a little and moved so he was in between her legs. Her breathing hitched a little and he couldn't help the grin when he saw the heat in her eyes again.

"Lily…are we moving to fast?" He whispered eyeing her carefully.

"To other people probably…but I don't feel like we are…but we aren't having sex yet," She replied, her hands slowly making their way to his lower back.

"I don't think we are either…I love you Lily and we'll have sex when we're ready," He brushed his lips along hers and she smiled.

"I love you too Cas…there are other things we can do though," She bit on to his lower lip as her hands pulled him down against her, his erection pressing against her. A moan escaped from her lips and Cas couldn't stop grinning. It felt amazing but he was more thrilled with the fact that he made Lily moan like that.

"Wow…Lily," He huffed out when her hips moved against him and he could feel the heat radiating from her core. She giggled and kissed him, one of her hands threading through his hair. He awkwardly moved his hips and he felt a shock of pleasure shoot from his dick right into the pit of his stomach. Oh it felt too good and he couldn't stop moving after that.

"Mmm, Cas that feels amazing," Lily whimpered spreading her legs a bit farther apart. Cas tried to slow his breathing…the sounds she was making went straight to his dick and he knew it wasn't going to last very long. Her free hand grabbed hold of one of his and she moved it up under her shirt.

"It's ok…you can touch me," She encouraged after he had eyed her, trying to make sure she was really ok with all of this. When his thumb grazed the edge of her breast he got his answer. She arched her back against him and let out a breathy moan. He steeled down his nerves, letting his hand cup her tit completely. He let out his own moan against her lips when he felt her hard nipple against his fingers.

She was turned on…really turned on and it wasn't a dream and it wasn't a cruel joke.

"Can I see you?" he whispered against her mouth and she nodded, helping him take her shirt off. He saw the uncertainly bleed into her eyes as she tried to cover herself. Cas bit his lip and knew he had to be the brave one this time. He pressed their lips together, and she eagerly met him, letting her mouth open to let him in. He moaned as his tongue explored her mouth, loving the taste of ice cream and all around sweetness in her mouth. Her arms finally relaxed and wound back around his neck.

He didn't want too but he couldn't pass the chance at seeing a very shirtless and willing Lily go by. He glanced down and bit back a groan. That glowing ivory skin was everywhere and he so badly wanted to touch, kiss and lick every inch of it. Especially her chest…he didn't know what the 'ideal' size was but hers were just right for him. Nice and round, fitting perfectly in his hands, he watched her face carefully when his fingers rolled her nipple grinning when her back arched again.

"Cas…please" she begged, her eyes closed and head thrown back. Her hips canted up against his. He moaned into her neck, grinding back down against her. She was so warm it was driving him crazy, He latched his mouth to hers and their tongues collided as his hips moved faster and harder, his fingers massaging and pulling on her breast. He didn't know what it was or maybe it was everything but her body started to jerk against him, her nails digging into his lower back.

The ever tightening coil in his stomach wound tighter and tighter, finally snapping when her whimper filled his ears. He had never cum so hard before, his hips continued to snap against hers until he was finally able to calm down. Cas looked into her eyes and gasped at how blown out her pupils were. She was biting her lip and letting out quiet mewls.

"Lily…did…did you um…"

"Did I have an orgasm? Hell yeah I did…Jesus Cas…" she swallowed thickly and teasingly moved her hips against him and he let out a loud groan. She quickly covered his mouth with her hand, giggling at him.

"Oops…I can't believe we just did that," Cas snickered hiding his face in the crook of her neck. She ran her fingers through his sweaty hair and kissed his neck gently.

"As amazing as that was…I really need to clean up…and I'm guessing you do as well," He nodded and with a pout he pulled away from her. She pulled on her shirt and went to crawl out of the bed, Cas reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"You're coming back though right?" Cas asked and he knew he sounded a little pathetic…and like a total girl. Lily didn't tease, just leaned in and kissed him softly.

"Of course…I missed sleeping with you," She grinned and hurried out of the room. Cas hurriedly pulled on some clean pants and then flopped down on the bed. He was exhausted and a quick glance at the clock told him they'd only be getting a few hours of sleep. But Cas couldn't find it anywhere in him to care…he just had his first sexual experience…with the girl of his dreams…and he made her orgasm!

He heard his door open and looked up to see Lily slipping into his room. She cast him a huge grin as she crawled up on the bed; he moved to lie down on his side, pulling her tightly against him. She let out a soft sigh; snuggling her head into his chest.

"Goodnight Cas," She whispered.

"Night Lily," He replied with a huge smile on his face.

* * *

Lily woke up the next morning with a huge smile on her face. During the night she had rolled over on to her side and Cas had followed, wrapping his arms tightly around her. She could feel his steady breathing against the back of her neck.

Yesterday had gone so amazingly well it almost seemed like a dream. And today would continue with that feeling, she would make damn sure of it. It was Castiel's turn to shine and she could not wait to see him on that stage. She glanced up at the clock, she had a half an hour before it would go off. She intertwined their fingers, pulling his arm tighter around her..

"You always wake up before the alarm," He mumbled and she couldn't help but snort out a small laugh. Her eyes closed when his lips brushed her skin, getting goose bumps along her skin.

"I know…I don't know why though," She sighed softly and relaxed back against him.

"Lil…how…um…" Cas stammered. She rolled over onto her back to look at him, his arm still draped over. His face was a bright red and kept his gaze on his fingers that were playing with the frayed edge of her shirt. She palmed the side of his face and made him look up at her.

"Talk to me," she said softly, letting her thumb trace his cheek bone; silently trying to tell him to relax. He let out a sigh and finally met her eyes.

"How did you want to act towards each other at school?" He asked and she could feel her eyes widen. She moved to lean up on her elbows and stared at him, not knowing exactly where this was going and didn't like the feeling it was giving her.

"What do you mean…act? Be honest with me Cas…what does this all mean to you?" She had to fight the sudden lump in her throat.

"I just…I know you don't care what others say but if we go to school…together as…a couple. They'll treat you even worse than they have," Cas bit hard on his lip and looked down. Lily stared at him even harder, a different kind of feeling surging through her, one that she felt the day she saw that douche Gordon picking on him. Before she could even think about what she was doing, she was suddenly straddling his waist, pressing her lips hard against his. Her hands cupped either side of his neck keeping him still, he gasped against her lips but returned it with eagerness.

Lily pulled away just enough to look into his shocked blue eyes. She pushed her fingers through his hair and smiled, pecking his lips softly.

"Cas…the only people I will ever care about what they think of me is you and Michael. Yeah we have our friends who I love dearly but it's not the same. You are my best friend Castiel, there isn't anything that could ever change that. Besides, all these assholes…they won't matter once we are at college. Please stop worrying about this," She stated before giving him a mere brush of lips, he let out a small whimper as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her down against his chest. She smiled and snuggled into him, breathing him in.

"I'll try…I just…sometimes don't feel like I'm worth all the trouble…."

"Cas…no…we are not starting the day like this. Dammit this is your day to shine and walk around with a huge head…you're one of the stars tonight! You're playing freaking Mark for fucks sake! Who by the way, I have had a crush on since I was little…so do you know how that makes me feel that my freaking boyfriend is playing him? Jesus," Lily shook her head and laughed. Cas stared at her and she froze, realizing what she had just said. His face broke out into a huge grin and he pulled her face to his, kissing her lips.

"I never imagined this year going this way…I expected to just keep my head down and try to stay out of the way….but this amazing, talented beautiful girl knocked me on my ass flipping everything upside down on the way," Cas laughed softly brushing some of her hair behind her ear, "And because I like things to be official….Lily, will you be my girlfriend?" he asked biting his lip.

"You're such a nerd…but you're my hot nerdy boyfriend…and of course I'll be your girlfriend," She giggled teasingly brushing his lips with hers, pulling away anytime he tried to kiss her back. He pouted up at her and she was about to kiss him fully when the alarm screamed at them. Both of them groaned and she reached over to slap it off.

"Go get in the shower, I'll start food," Lily yawned, stretching her arms above her head. She heard a moan and she glanced down to see him staring at her, his hands slowly moving up her legs. She smirked down at him and bit her lip.

"Cas…as much as I would love to play around with you…we have to get up. I really don't want Michael getting upset with us," She said and he nodded leaning up on his elbows.

"What…should we tell him?" He asked. She shrugged and kissed the tip of his nose.

"He already knows Cas, he was there when you attacked me in the foyer remember? Come on," She laughed crawling off of him. He made a loud noise of frustration and got up, following her out of the room only to stop abruptly. Michael was on the other side of the door with a small knowing gleam in his eyes.

"Ok…I'm only gonna say this once cause it's making me have an ulcer just thinking about it…I better not hear it or walk in on it…you have a lock on your door, use it. And for the love of god use protection," Michael glared at both of them but it was ruined with the little smile forming on his face.

"Oh god Mike really?! We aren't having…." Cas started, Michael interrupted him with a rude noise.

"No! None of that…just wrap it up ok bro? Come on Lily…food," Michael laughed making his way to the kitchen. Lily shook her head and glanced up at Cas, his face was scarlet. She kissed his chin and followed Michael.

* * *

Cas sat in his computer class, working on one of the very few projects Garth assigned for that semester. He was nearly finished so his mind found it easy to slip away. Yesterday and last night…were far beyond anything he could have imagined. And it was official…they were dating…no…in a relationship. It made him smile every time he thought about it…there were times he had to remind himself that this wasn't a dream he'd wake up from. His usual nightmares had changed to him waking and Lily wouldn't be there. He looked for her only to find her in Adam Milligan's arms laughing at him, calling him pathetic. He woke up shaking only to be comforted by Lily…even in her sleep she was watching over him, moving closer to him while she slept. He couldn't help the reservations he felt but he would push them down.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Garth sat down in a chair next to him.

"Hey Castiel, I'm in need for a teacher's aid next semester…you interested?" Castiel beamed at him and nodded.

"Yeah! I should have a free period…I only needed one more semester of math thank god," Cas groaned. As much as he hated math he was extremely good at it. Garth smiled clapping him on the back before getting up.

"So…Castiel…you and Lily…spill," Chuck turned to him and stared at him. Cas laughed rubbing his face proceeding to knock his glasses off. They clattered to the desk and he left them there.

"What do you want to know?"

"Well are you guys…yah know…doin it?" Chuck asked and Cas blushed. He gaped at his friend, was that what people were saying now?

"Who told you that? And no we're not doing…it," Cas spat out and sighed heavily.

"Castiel…that rumors been going around for a while now…it's not nothing new but my friend Becky was at the dance show, she saw you two kissing. I just thought you two were together for real now….sorry man," Chuck stammered.

"Oh…well, yeah we're officially going out now," Cas replied turning his attention to his work. Chuck got the message and turned to his own computer. He'd been worried about what the assholes would say to Lily for just being his girlfriend…he tried to shake the feeling away.

When the bell rang he hurried out of the room with his head down as he made the way to his locker. He stopped short when he saw Lily leaning with her back against the lockers and Adam next to her, smirking. She had a grim expression on her face and rolled her eyes at something he said. He slowly got closer and he could just make out what they were saying.

"Adam…seriously, get a clue. You…are…not…my…type," Lily said slowly. Cas let out a breath and shook his head, a little disgusted with himself. He really needed to get over this…

"Ok then…who IS your type?" Adam laughed. Lily finally saw him inching his way over and the way she looked at him made his whole body burn. She bit her lip and beamed at him shyly. She reached out and he took her hand, letting her pull him closer. He swallowed and looked up into Adam's confused glare, he couldn't stop the satisfied grin.

"This…right here…is my type. Smart, talented, sexy as hell and a total nerd," She explained and Cas felt his heart skip a few beats…she really thought he was sexy? Dear god what her words were doing to him.

Adam let out a rude laugh, "Sexy? Are you fucking kidding me?" Lily took a step closer to Adam and let out a very low moan.

"Nope….you have no idea just how sexy he is," she whispered and grinned evilly at the very red faced Adam. She winked at him and pulled Cas away. He glanced over his shoulder and laughed, Adam was still standing there, staring at the floor.

"Lil…oh my god," Cas snickered. Lily shrugged her shoulders and laughed. He was shaking his head when he felt a sudden tug on his hand and he was crashing into one of the janitor's closets. He opened his mouth to protest when his arms were being filled with a very eager girl. Lily wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him hungrily. He moaned against her lips, his arms pulling her closer by her waist.

He gently pushed her against the wall and picked her up, smiling when her legs wrapped around his waist. Cas finally felt confident enough to lick at her lips, begging her to let him in. She grinned at him playfully before finally meeting his tongue with hers, both of them moaning a little while their tongues rolled against each other. Her fingers wound up into his hair as their kisses began to get more heated, their hips slowly starting to roll.

Cas felt his erection getting harder with every roll of their hips. If they didn't stop soon he was going to cum in his pants and he really didn't want to deal with that all day. He pulled his mouth off of hers and shuddered when she whined.

"Sorry…I just…we have to stop," Cas said breathlessly and she bit hard on her lip letting her head hit the wall behind her. He was suddenly very aware of just how much heat was coming off her own body, especially where their crotches were pressed so deliciously. He kept forgetting that he wasn't the only one getting turned on…it wasn't a selfish thought, he just never thought he could ever get a girl worked up this much.

"Lily…I'm sorry…" Cas muttered and hid his face in her shoulder. She heard her giggle and felt lips on his neck.

"I should be the one apologizing…I'm the one who pulled you in here…you gonna be ok?" She asked softly and he knew she was referring to his very hard erection throbbing against their pressed groins. He really wanted to keep going but he just couldn't bring himself to do something like that in a closet. Making out was one thing….she deserved better than that.

"Yeah…I'll just need a minute," he gulped. She unwound her legs and he let her go reluctantly. After a few minutes the blood returned to his brain and he let out a calming breath. She took his hand, pulling him for a small kiss.

"You're off the hook for now…but after the show tonight…" She gave him a saucy smirk and slipped out of the closet.

"God dammit," Cas muttered glancing down at his crotch.

**~Several Hours Later~**

Lily hummed to herself as she played with her phone, a present from Michael. Cas thought it was for doing so well with her performance but Lily knew it meant so much more.

Since her recital was last night Jo let them do whatever they wanted today. So Lily left class early and sat outside the arts building under a tree. She was typing a text to Cas to let him know where she was when she heard the roar of an old car, her blood ran cold before she even looked up. She hadn't heard from her brother or her mother in over a month.

When she finally looked up her mouth hit the floor. Her grandmother crawled out of a car she easily recognized as her father's. A taxi pulled up behind it and parked. It made her throat tighten thinking about her dad but she quickly got to her feet, rushing over to wrap her arms around her grandma. She was the only one who never blamed Lily for her father's death.

"Hello there baby girl…how are you?" She asked with a deep southern drawl. Her voice always soothed Lily and made her smile. When she was younger she had been a true southern belle, hooped skirts and all.

"I'm…better now. I'm not living with mom anymore," Lily bit her lip and saw a knowing look cross her face. She let out an angry sigh shaking her head.

"As grateful as I am to have you child…that woman should have never been a mother…I would have taken you in but she would have raised hell…I'm surprised she let you go so easily," she admitted.

"I know…maybe she finally realized that I'm just too much of sinner and no matter how many 'cleansing' sessions Brian gave me I can't be saved," Lily rolled her eyes and her grandma grasped at her hands. She knew what her grandma wanted to say but held it in and Lily was thankful.

"I have a present for you…I finally got my hands on your father's will that your devil of a mother has kept under lock and key…your daddy left you several things," She beamed at her granddaughter. Lily felt her chest tighten again and a few tears fell down her cheeks.

"Like what?"

"Well for one…his car. He left Brian the mustang and this one was always yours. I kept it at my house away from her greedy hands until I knew where my son wanted it. And also the cabin that he used for huntin…it's yours baby girl," She smiled. Lily's mouth hung open and she let out a small whimper hugging her grandma. She remembered her father taking her there so many times…it was always a special thing between her and him. Brian never wanted to learn how to hunt or do anything outside so dad never brought him along.

"Lily?" He heard Cas call out from behind her. She glanced at him and saw the worry written all over his face. She waved him over and he nervously joined them. Her hand found his and she cleared her throat.

"Cas…this is my grandma…my dad's mom," Cas's eyes widened and she knew he remembered what she told him about the ring.

"Grandma…this is my boyfriend Castiel Novak," She said all the sudden growing nervous. Her grandma just smiled up at him and grasped his hand.

"You stay true to your name and be an angel to her…or I will hunt you down boy…ya hear?" she threatened and Cas beamed at her making her laugh a little.

"I have to go now…I want you to come spend some time with me over Christmas break Lily…you be good baby girl," Lily hugged her grandma tightly and sighed heavily when she saw the last member of her family who actually loved her disappear into the waiting taxi.

"That was randomly awesome…what brought her here?" Cas asked and Lily snapped out of her haze. Without a word she ran to the car and grinned excitedly. She reached through the open window to pull the keys sitting in the ignition.

"Lil?" Cas asked standing behind her.

"Cas…this is my dad's car…the one he found in a junkyard while he was in high school. He rebuilt this thing from the ground up…and he left it to me…it's mine now. I have a car!" She cried and covered her mouth with her hands. Cas's arms wrapped around her just as the sobs wracked her body.

* * *

Castiel sat backstage staring down at his hands, the last couple of hours racing through his mind. He had been so scared when he saw Lily talking to that woman…he didn't know what was going on but was overwhelmed with relief when they were introduced. Cas was so grateful that at least one member of Lily's family loved and actually cared about her. After she left and he held Lily as she cried, he finally got her to calm down and slide into the car. She gave him a kiss and explained that she had to take it for a drive alone. He understood and returned the kiss.

Now he was sitting backstage waiting for the curtain call. Looking up he stared into the mirror.

He looked the same but different at the same time. Pam was using the movie as inspiration and tried to find clothes that matched the closest. He was impressed…his outfit alone looked nearly identical. The infamous maroon sweater with blue sleeves and blue stripe across the middle. A worn brown suede jacket over top with a blue and white striped scarf wrapped around his neck. When Lily came back (with a sense of calm radiating from her) she tried to calm his hair into the same style as Mark's, after nearly a whole bottle of gel she managed to get it close and now it wouldn't move. He shook his head to test it out and couldn't help laughing.

His fingers played along the metal of the old camera resting on his leg. It was an exact replica of the one Mark practically had glued to his hip. The nerves were settling in with every second that went by. He was scared that people wouldn't like it, especially the parents. Pam had based her version on the movie, mostly because it was easier to follow the cut out adult parts that were in the original version. All mentions of drugs were changed to cigarettes. Pam had found some gum that looked like the real thing and made sure all the parents knew about it. But the scenes that included the talk about AIDS she left in and didn't blink an eye at any of the complaints.

Cas hated the part with a vengeance but he was grateful that she stayed true and even kept the part of Angel passing in their version. He was extremely grateful to be apart of this for so many reasons he lost count.

"Hey…you ready?" Coby asked standing next to him. He smiled at the boy playing Angel and nodded. 'Roger' walked up to them and grinned.

"Alright kids…lets do this…oh and 'Mark', I talked to Pam…yes we are definitely leaving in the hug," Skylar grinned wrapping his arm around Cas's neck.

They took their places and the show began.

* * *

Lily sat in the first row with Michael on her right, ruby, Charlie, Balthazar and then Chuck all on her left. She'd been so excited and nervous for Cas and the moment the lights dimmed her hand grasped for Michael's. He shared her anxious smile and gripped her fingers.

Lily felt her smile widen as Cas took the stage, his entire demeanor changed and he was Mark Cohen. She was overwhelmed at how well he took to the stage, belting out the songs and acting out even the smallest mannerisms he had studied for hours. She lost count how many times they had watched the movie in the past month. It showed and she was so damn proud of him.

No matter what platform it was…whether it was the Broadway show, the movie or even now in this production, the death of Angel got her to break down. Then Cas took the stage by himself and sang out his solo "Halloween" with perfection. She quickly wiped at a fallen tear when she heard a sniffle from her right. She took a quick glance up and tried to hide her smile when he saw the tears in Michael's eyes.

Then it was time for her favorite song…"What You Own." She bit her lip with the quick glances he gave her every time he sang the line "I am not alone."

She grinned widely watching as the boys moved around the stage, ending with a tight hug. She felt a stirring in her gut when she watched them but pushed it away…she'd figure out what that was later.

Lily was pleasantly surprised when they ended the show singing "Love Heals," and a few more tears fell, knowing the story behind the song and Jonathan Larson. It always made her sad that he never got to see this amazing thing he had created performed live.

She stood with the others, cheering and clapping when the cast took their bows. She laughed when Balthazar let out a loud whistle when Cas took his bow with the stage crew as well. Lily bounced on her feet, playfully pushing at Michael to move. He laughed at her and just ended up moving out of the way so she could crawl over him. She hurried into the same foyer where he had attacked her the night before…god it seemed like such a long time ago when it really has only been a day.

A flash of blue and red caught her eye and smiled when she spotted him giving a hug to the boy who played Roger…Skylar if she remembered correctly. She rushed over and his eyes caught hers just in time to meet her lips in a crushing force. There was a chuckle next to them but she ignored it, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"You did amazing! I'm so proud of you!" She exclaimed kissing him again, his hand pressed against the side of her neck, his thumb tracing along her jaw line.

"Thank you…I can't wait until we get to perform it again next week…three days in a row…it's gonna be so much fun," Cas laughed breathlessly. Lily loved seeing him like this…flushed and eyes shining with life and excitement. It made her giddy inside.

"I'll see you around Cas….amazing job tonight," Skylar smiled and Cas nodded. Lily let go of him and was a bit surprised when Cas gave the boy a hug. He never even hugged Balthazar unless he was forced into it. That feeling in her gut came back and she realized it wasn't jealousy, it was something completely different.

"Huh…" She let out a laugh and Cas eyed her with question.

"I'll tell you later….You made your brother cry by the way," She smirked taking his hand and pulling him over to where their friends were. Cas let out a nervous laugh and tightened his hold on her when people started to shout out praises to him.

"Castiel…oh my god!" Michael cried rushing up to them. She let go in time for the older brother to engulf the younger in his long arms. Cas grunted but returned the hug with as much fervor. They clung to each other and Lily felt the tears in her eyes again. Anyone glancing over would be completely oblivious to everything that their hug meant and Lily felt extremely privileged with that knowledge.

Michael cupped the sides of Cas's face and smiled, "I am so proud of you baby brother."

Cas swallowed hard and nodded his thanks moving to cling to his brother again. Lily wiped at her eyes and looked around the room, locking eyes with Meg. She was watching Cas like a hawk and smirked at Lily when their gazes met. Lily felt her blood boil and clenched her hands into fists.

"Lil…you ok?" she heard Cas whisper against her ear and all that heated rage she was feeling was quickly squashed when she looked up into those blue eyes that always sent shudders down her spine.

"Of course…now…how do you wanna celebrate? We had ice cream last night but if…"

"We could go to that hill we found a few weeks ago…the one that over looks the city?" Cas suggested and Lily grinned.

"Sure…we can get some food along the way. I'm starving," She said linking arms with his.

* * *

~Saturday~

Lily groaned as she glanced down at all the make up littered on Charlie's vanity. She wanted to tease her but it really didn't surprise her that she had a very old fashioned make up table, cushioned stool and all. At the moment she was watching as Charlie applied make up to her girlfriend Ruby. The whole group was dressing up with the theme of Steam Punk, which she loved.

Her outfit was hanging up on the closet door and she couldn't wait to see the look on Cas's face. The dress was made of a vibrant dark green with black lace and ties decorating the edges and sides. The skirt of the dress was gathered on the sides with a black bow letting it hit an inch above her knees. The corset made her a little self conscious at how much of a boost it gave her breasts but Charlie said it looked perfect. Ruby found a leather pea coat in the back of the closet and Lily took it gratefully, it offered some warmth for her arms. It tied across her chest but the rest of the dress was easily seen. Fishnets, 2in boots with gear decorative buckles and a mini top hat tied the rest of the outfit together. Or…so she thought.

"Ok Lily, your turn. And I found this…you have to wear it! It ties it all in and will make your eyes glow amazingly!" Charlie handed her a black mask with peacock feathers glued to the left of it. Lily nodded and took her place, letting the girls fuss over her hair and make up.

A hundred curlers, tons of make up and an hour later…she was done. She glanced at the mirror and gasped…she almost didn't recognize herself. Her hair hung in tight curls down her back, the right side gathered up to help support the mini top hat. Black and green glittery eye shadow dusted her eyelids with a heavy line of liner. She touched the dark red lipstick and was thankful that it was the non-smudging stuff.

"Charlie…Ruby….wow….thank you," Lily laughed still looking at her reflection. The girls looked smugly at each other and started to get dressed. Lily smirked and got up to get her own dress on.

Once they were all finally dressed, Lily had to stare at herself in the mirror again. Never in her wildest dreams did she ever think she'd find herself wearing one of the most revealing outfits. She tried to cover herself but Ruby stopped her.

"I'm sorry Char but Lily…you look damn hot and sexy. Castiel is going to pop some major wood with one look at you. Don't cover yourself," Ruby gave her a warm smile. Lily glanced over at Charlie and grinned when she saw her nodding in agreement.

"Ok…I hope he really does like it…" Lily took in a calming breath and let it out slowly. Picking up the mask she fastened it to her face with the eyelash glue.

"Laaaaaaadies! It's time! And the boys are waiting down stairs!" Ryon yelled through the door. Lily's heart started pounding in her chest; she made sure the mask was secure before following the girls out.

"Wow…girls….damn….If only I was straight," He smirked giving Lily a wink. She blushed a little and laughed. They were about to enter the family room when Charlie stopped her.

"I want you to come out separately…cause I HAVE to get Cas's reaction on camera," She snickered leaving Lily alone in the hallway.

"Holy…shit…girls….you're really trying to kill me aren't you?" She heard Balthazar say with a groan. She shook her head trying to quiet her giggle.

"Where's Lil?" Cas asked timidly. He must be nervous as well…it calmed her stammering heart a bit.

"Lily! Come on!" Ruby called out and Lily held her breath before stepping out. Cas's eyes went wide as he took her in and Lily felt herself do the same. He looked fucking amazing!

A dark burgundy red vest with a black lace design sat on top of a tight button up dress shirt. He had on tight black pants that fed into pirate style boots. A long black trench coat sat on his shoulders and his hands were covered with fingerless gloves. A leather top hat sat on his head that had a pair of goggles wrapped around it. Lily looked a little closer and saw his shining blue eyes were framed with a very thin line of eyeliner.

"Lil…wow…" He said breathlessly as he took a step forward. She swallowed around the lump in her throat and grinned at him.

"Yeah…you too…holy shit…" she laughed pulling the lapels of his trench coat apart to get a better view of the outfit underneath.

"Damn brother…you did a good job! Balth…I swear if you don't land a girlfriend tonight…I don't know what else to do with you," she heard Charlie tease from behind her. She tore her eyes away from Cas and checked out Balthazar's outfit. It resembled an old gangster outfit but it was tweaked around to fit the steam punk theme. He looked gorgeous.

"We really do need to find him a girl…" Lily said softly to Cas who nodded, his eyes still staring down at her.

"Do…I look okay?" She asked blushing. His eyes darted to hers and his face broke out into a huge grin.

"You look amazing Lil…I apologize now for not being able to keep my hands off you later," Cas whispered in her ear and she couldn't stop the shudder that went through her body. He gave her a sneaky grin and she laughed, smacking his arm.

"Alright guys…ready to make the popular kids jealous as all hell?" Charlie grinned.

They crawled into their cars, Balthazar opting to go with the girls, they made their way to one of the old mansion style houses where the dance was being held. It was like a small castle that looked to be crazy haunted. Lily parked the car and didn't move for a moment, feeling the nerves flood her again.

"Lily…you ok?" Cas asked looking over at her. She nodded and gave him an assuring smile before climbing carefully out of the car. After locking up she handed her keys to him to stow away along with her license in his pocket. He took her hand and waited for their friends to join them. Chuck and his 'friend' Becky hurried over, their mouths dropping when they took in Cas and Lily.

"Wow! You guys look so amazing! Chuck we should have joined them! Not that it matters, our costumes are awesome too!" Becky exclaimed with a smile that showed off all her teeth. Lily laughed and nodded taking in their costumes. Chuck was dressed as Mayhem while Becky donned Flo's outfit.

"Thanks…you two look cute together," Lily said and saw Chuck's face flush while Becky beamed. The rest of their friends joined and they began walking in the direction of the mansion. Lily couldn't help grinning when she heard the whistles, catcalls and even the whispers in awe as they approached. They were the unpopular nerd herd and their costumes showed up the others…especially the 'popular' kids. Lily saw Adam staring at her and she rolled her eyes, gripping Cas's hand tighter.

"Wow…just…Wow! You guys look amazing!" Pam exclaimed as they handed their tickets in.

"Thanks but you have to give the credit to Charlie and Ruby…" Lily said smiling at her friends. The girls grinned and gave each other a fist bump.

"Hmmm…I'll have to bribe you two to work on our costume design for next semester…" Pam said thoughtfully and moved out of the way to let them enter. The girls began to talk excitedly behind them with Lily and Cas leading the way.

"Should I feel guilty with how possessive I'm feeling with all these guys staring at you?" Cas whispered in her ear and she couldn't stop the laugh bursting out of her mouth.

"No…I like the thought of you being all territorial…as long as you don't mind me scratching out the eyes of some these girls," Lily teased…but in reality she was being serious. Some of these girls had stood by while Cas was mocked and bullied but now they were staring at him with a new appreciation. It bugged her but the one that made her skin crawl was Meg, who was starring hungrily at Cas a few tables over. Lily stood in front of him and pulled off the trench coat he had let her wear while outside…that leather pea coat offered no heat what so ever. She saw Meg's eyes grow impossibly wide when she took in Lily's costume.

Lily grinned and draped the jacket over the chair feeling a little accomplished and smug. Cas shook his head laughing.

"I don't mind at all…even though its just Meg," he shrugged. Lily rolled her eyes…he really was oblivious. The music boomed through the hall and Lily felt herself grin…she absolutely hated recent music…with the exception of a very few bands…so when Aha's Take On Me came on she felt giddy.

"Cas…dance with me? Please?" She pouted when she saw the instant frown on his face.

"I…Lil…I barely got through the very small dance routine as Mark!" He pleaded, his eyes slowly turning into that damn puppy dog look.

"Oh come on! You'll be with us! Plllllease?" She begged with a pout, erasing his attempt at swaying her. Balthazar appeared behind Cas and smirked at her. He snatched up Cas's arm, yanking him towards the dance floor. Lily giggled and followed them, the girls right behind her.

It took Cas a few songs but he finally lost his nervousness and started to dance a little. Balthazar helped a bit with his very…spastic dancing. When the first slow song came on Balthazar stared at them for a few moments before disappearing. Lily felt a bit bad for him but it was erased when Cas's arms wrapped around her, pulling her against his chest. She slid her arms around his neck, smiling up at him.

"As hot as you look with this on…Can you take it off?" Cas asked, one of his hands tracing the mask on her face. She nodded and carefully peeled it away from her skin. His fingers traced her cheekbone before leaning down to kiss her. She sighed softly and closed her eyes. The song ended much to quickly and Cas pulled away almost shyly. It always made her smile at how bashful he got after kissing her.

"I'm gonna get something to drink…you want something?" He asked after they walked over to their table. The girls were talking softly and Lily smiled seeing how close they sat together.

"Um…yeah. Just water though," She smiled and watched him hurry off.

"Lily…you look hot," She huffed out an annoyed sigh before turning to face Adam Milligan. He really couldn't get a clue.

"Thanks…let me guess? Zorro? Original," She said eyeing his costume. He grinned down at her and nodded, taking a step closer. Lily took a step back and crossed her arms over her stomach.

"What do you want Adam?"

"Dance with me…"

"Oh hell no," She laughed and he took another step closer to her. She had no more room to back up.

"Just one…come on," Adam reached out to grab her arm but Cas was suddenly between them.

"She said no Adam…and I'd appreciate if you'd leave my girlfriend alone," Lily bit her lip and smiled, reaching out with her hand to touch his lower back. Adam glared down at Cas opening his mouth to say something but stopped. He shook his head before storming off.

Lily stepped in front of Cas and hugged him, hiding her face in the crook of his neck, "That was awesome Cas."

"I was praying he wouldn't hit me…" Cas laughed snaking his hands around her waist.

"Come on, lets go outside…I need some air and there's a full moon tonight," She grinned pulling him towards the back door.

* * *

Cas held onto Lily's hand tightly and followed her out back. There were other couples outside but he paid them no mind. Lily didn't stop walking until they were a good distance from the others and could see the moon clearly. Cas leaned up against a tree keeping his eyes locked on the girl in front of him. She looked so amazing…of course he always thought she looked beautiful but dressed like that…it got his blood boiling. He couldn't deny that his erection got a bit tighter every time she would press or grind up against him while they danced.

Lily turned to face him with a peaceful look on her face. She stepped up to him and tilted her face up. Cas bit his lip before leaning down, brushing their lips together. Their arms wrapped around each other, pulling their bodies close. He licked at her lips shyly and she let out a sigh parting her lips to let him in. His arms pulled her in closer as he slid his tongue into her mouth slowly, exploring against her teeth. Her fingers threaded into his hair as soft moan escaped her throat.

"You really have sunk even lower Lilian," a stern voice grumbled out making them jump apart. Lily's older brother Brian stood about 5 feet away from them, glaring with absolute disgust at her. Cas felt her stiffen and he instantly pulled her behind him even though he was scared. Brian took a step closer and Cas pushed Lily backwards.

"What the hell do you want Brian?" Cas asked frowning at him. Brian turned his glare at him and he pressed his lips together in a grim line.

"You have the nerve to ask me that? She was getting better! Then she moves in with you and now look at her! Dressed like a whore and shameless! Lily…come home…I can help you," Brian pleaded and Cas's stomach turned to knots.

"Help her how? By beating the shit out of her!" Cas couldn't help himself as he shouted at Brian, taking a step forward. Lily tried to pull him back, her hand clinging to his.

"Cas…please," She begged and he swallowed down his words.

"This is none of your concern boy!" Brian shouted taking a few steps towards them.

"Whatever happens to her is my concern! She's my girlfriend and I'm in love with her! So back off!" Cas shouted and the next thing he knew he saw Brian's fist coming towards him, connecting with his mouth.

"Cas!" Lily screamed as he fell to the ground. She tried to kneel next to him but Brian grabbed her arm, pulling her away from him. Cas groaned as he sat up, touching his face. His lip was split open.

"You're coming home, now!" Brian growled, yanking at her arm. He heard the yelp of pain and the anger inside of him flared. He jumped to his feet and pulled Lily out of Brian's grasp, pushing her gently behind him again. He didn't glance back at her like he wanted to but kept his eyes on Brian. Her older brother flew at him and this time Cas ducked and swung out his own arm, connecting with his stomach. He doubled over and Cas shoved him hard, knocking him on his ass.

"You ever come near her again…I'll call the cops…" Cas threatened. He turned to finally look at Lily and felt his throat tighten. Tears were streaming down her face and her entire body was trembling. Her hand reached out shakily and touched his cheek, her thumb gently brushing over his split lip.

"Cas…I am so sorry…I'm so sorry," She shook her head and tried to take a step away from him but he wouldn't let her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.

"Lily it's not your fault…it's ok."

"No it's not! You got hurt because of me!" She cried trying to push away but he held on tighter. He heard some shouting from behind them; he looked over and saw several teachers running over. He held Lily close and she finally stopped fighting him, melting into him. He was relieved when he saw Jo and Pam among the teachers approaching them. Brian finally got to his feet and took off running before they arrived.

"Are you guys ok? Who was that!" Jo exclaimed reaching out to place her hand on his shoulder. He could feel Lily clinging to him and rubbed her back trying to calm her down.

"That was her brother…he's a jackass…and yes we're ok," He answered and Jo gave him leveling look. She glanced down at Lily but said nothing, just sighed heavily.

"Why don't you two go inside," she said softly. Cas nodded and pulled Lily with him towards the house, she was still clinging to him hiding her face. Charlie, Ruby and Balthazar came running to them with worry. Ruby was the only one who really didn't know what was going on…the other two kind of figured it out on their own. Charlie reached out and touched Lily's shoulder.

"Shit…what happened?" She asked noticing the cut on Cas's lip. Lily raised her head and Cas wiped the tears from her face. She smiled up at him and let out a deep breath.

"My brother decided to show his face…it's fine now…I just got a little worked up. Come on…I don't want tonight to be ruined," She said slowly detaching herself from him.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Ruby said softly wrapping her arm around Lily's shoulders. Balthazar linked arms with him and followed the girls inside. He was pulled into the guy's bathroom and let Balthazar clean up his lip.

"Her brother do that to you?" He asked with a deep frown. Cas nodded and rubbed his temple; a headache was beginning to form. Tonight was supposed to be a continuation of the best two days he ever had. After the dance they were supposed to go spend the night at Charlie's for a late movie night and just relax…now Lily was in the girl's bathroom crying.

"Hey…tonight's not all ruined ok? The girls will get her cleaned up and things will be ok…we'll make sure of that ok?" Balthazar said squeezing his shoulder.

"I know this is gonna sound rude but I have to ask…why are you being so nice to me? You had feelings for Lily…I figured you would hate me…" Cas said staring up at his friend who gave him a warm smile.

"Yeah I had bit of a crush on her but…anyone…well the smart ones can see that you two were meant for each other. And I couldn't hate you Cassie…you guys are my best friends," He said with such nonchalance it made Cas feel a warmth bloom through his chest. He reached out and squeezed Balth's wrist smiling up at him.

"Come on Novak…" He grinned pulling him out of the bathroom. Cas didn't know what he was expecting when they finally emerged but he was glad to see the girls by their table and Lily didn't look so troubled as before. She looked over at them when Ruby whispered something to her. Their eyes met and the smile she gave him loosened some knot that had begun to tighten from the moment Brian showed up. He took her hand, pulling her away from their friends.

"You ok?" he asked. She was silent for a moment while her hands wrung into lapels of his trench coat.

"I'll be ok…I'm so used to being the one to stand up for you… I still can't believe you did that….it was kinda hot," She finally looked up at him and smirked, getting a nice blush from him. He laughed and shook his head, wrapping his arms around her.

"Well…I'm glad you were amused," He teased. She gently pushed away and touched his bottom lip that sported the split.

"Hey, I'm ok…let's just enjoy the rest of the night ok?" Cas asked and smiled when she nodded. He peeled off the trench again then pulled her to join their friends.

* * *

"Ok guys, go change, we'll be in the basement!" Charlie called out through the closed door. Lily rolled her eyes and laughed. Cas was across the room already removing his vest, giving her a smirk. Lily blushed and grabbed her backpack, retreating into the bathroom that was attached to Charlie's bedroom. Once inside she stared at her reflection with a frown. Could she just stop blushing already?

The rest of the dance had gone off without a hitch, even rumors of Cas being a total "bad ass" was going around, getting attention from even more people. Lily thought it was endearing at how red he got with all the praise. She leaned against the wall closing her eyes…she had been so scared when her brother showed up. It still baffled her why he did after all this time and why there of all places? Cas had been amazing, trying to stand between them, the last thing she wanted was for him to get hurt and that's just what happened. Because of her, he know had a split lip, she felt incredibly guilty. Though she couldn't find it in herself to be upset when Cas punched her brother…now that was hot.

Shaking her head she peeled off the pea coat and the boots, piling them neatly in the corner of the bathroom. She tried to untie the bodice but her she couldn't reach the lacing…blushing furiously she poked her head out of the bathroom to call for Cas but the sight of his bare back had her tongue-tied.

"C-cas…um…can you help me?" she stammered taking a few steps towards him. He spun around to look at her and gave her a shy smile. He pulled on a baggy shirt making his way over to her. She turned nervously, pointing to the lacing. She felt his fingers very lightly brushing over her bare shoulders and back before pulling on the strings. She swallowed hard and held the front of the corset to her so it wouldn't fall to the floor.

Where all this shyness was coming from she had no idea…she had brazenly let him look at her a couple of nights ago. Lily closed her eyes a little…there was still that fear that he would take one look at her and deem her ugly, leaving her alone. The tugging stopped and she gasped when slightly chapped lips pressed against her shoulder. Her eyes popped open wide and bit hard on her lip.

"You looked so beautiful tonight Lily…" he whispered against her ear. Taking in a shuddering breath she got a hold of her nerves and let the dress fall, leaving her in the small shorts and fishnets. He heard a sharp intake of breath and smiled. She could feel his eyes raking over her exposed flesh, his hands trembling at her sides. Very slowly, she took his hands in her own, placing his open palms on her bare stomach before leaning back against his chest. Silently giving him permission to touch her if he wanted…and she could feel the tension in his body, he was just as scared as she was.

He took in a deep breath and she new he was trying to calm his furiously beating heart that she could feel through his shirt. His hands began to move and goose bumps exploded over her skin, the tips of his fingers traced along her skin until they brushed the underside of her breasts. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back letting out a small sigh. She couldn't see him but she could hear his unsteady breathing against the side of her face making her smile.

"It's ok Cas," She whispered and let out a soft moan when his hands brushed over her, just barely touching her hard nipples. They stayed still for a brief moment before she felt Cas pulling her back towards Charlie's bed. She slowly turned to find him sitting down, his eyes rising to meet hers; pulling her gently to stand between his legs. Warms hands engulfed her breasts again and she tiled her head back as tingling sensation ran through her veins settling in the warmth between her legs.

She looked down again and watched as he licked his dry lips leaning forward to flick that tongue at her right tit. Gasping her fingers threaded through his hair, encouraging him to do it again which he gladly obliged, his hands moving down to her waist to keep her from moving.

Lily couldn't stop the small mewls escaping her mouth when his latched onto her, sucking very slowly at her sensitive skin. Just when she thought she would explode from that alone, he kissed his way to the other one, this time using his teeth a little, growing more and more confident.

"Cas," She moaned and bit hard on her lip, the heat between her legs was getting unbearable and her legs were starting to tremble. She gently pushed him away and he stared at her with a little fear. She crawled into his lap, straddling his legs.

"I wasn't going to be able to stand for much longer," She giggled kissing him hard, shoving her tongue into his mouth. He let out a laugh pulling her so close their crotches pressed together perfectly and Lily gasped. He was so hard and pressed just right…she couldn't help but rock her hips to feel his hard length press against her clit through the shorts.

"Oh god Lily," He groaned his fingers digging her into thighs. She kissed down his chin to his neck, biting and sucking to leave a mark. A whimper left her mouth when she felt him twitch beneath her…she so badly wanted to just rut against him until both of them came…but she also wanted something a little more. With a sly smile, she slid off his lap to kneel on the floor in front of him. His eyes grew impossibly wide and he tried to say something but all that came out was a squeezed out gasp. She didn't know where the bravery was coming from but she didn't dwell on it for long…her fingers moved up his legs and hooked into the band of his pj pants, pulling them along with his briefs down.

"Lil…whoa," He breathed out trying to stop her but she shook her head with a grin and kept pulling until she could let them drop on the floor next to them, never once taking her eyes off his face.

"Cas, look at me," She whispered when he closed his eyes tightly. He was so terrified of the same thing…she palmed the back of his neck, pulling him down to kiss her. When she pulled back he was staring at her with all that uncertainty pooled in his eyes. She bit her lip and let her gaze fall down to his lap, letting out a low groan. He had lost some of his hardness from all the nerves he was feeling but it didn't stop her from getting even more turned on. His dick was long and throbbing…it made her face blush with heat.

"Wow Cas," she giggled biting her lip. Her eyes met his and she was glad to see all the insecurity from before bleeding out and heat blowing his pupils out instead. Her entire body was tingling to touch him but she hesitated…she'd never done this before. Only watched it a few times from porn when she was a little randy.

"You don't have to do anything Lil," Cas said nervously and it broke the haze in her brain. She gave him a saucy grin as her hand finally wrapped around his length; he threw his head back and let out a groan that sent shivers down her spine. The hard flesh in her hand was hot and pulsing, she moved her hand up and down, letting her fingers tighten just a slight when she touched the head. A drip of pre-cum dribbled out and before she could even stop herself, she leaned down to catch it with her tongue. It was salty but definitely not unpleasant. Cas let out a whimpery sounding whine and when she looked up it pleased her to no end and how debauched he looked. His face was red and sweaty and breathing hard…she shuddered again and couldn't hold back any longer.

Giving him another wicked grin, she let her tongue trace the underside of his dick before wrapping her lips around the head, sucking gently. Cas let out another whine but longer, she rolled her eyes up to look at him to find him collapsed back on the bed. She pulled off, letting her hand move along his shaft.

"You ok Cas?" She asked giggling. He raised his head and nodded.

"Don't stop…please," He begged and Lily obliged. Taking him back into her mouth, she tightened her lips around his heated skin, sinking down to see how much she could take. It pleased her (and especially Cas) when she realized she had absolutely no gag reflex and could deep throat with no issue. It hit a special place deep in her gut when his tip touched her throat, making her moan around him. He let out a cry above her and she grinned as much as she was able. With a hard suck she moved her mouth back up to tongue at his slit.

"Lily….where…the fuck…did you learn that?" He gasped, his hips starting to cant up.

"Porn…Cas…you're the first guy I've ever…been like this with," She could feel herself blush furiously and she was glad when he let out a loud moan. Watching him closely as her hand continued to pump him, her movements getting a little faster she could tell he was getting close. She deliberated with herself for a brief moment before she wrapped her lips around his tip again, sucking on it with a moan when he let out a cry. Her mouth filled with his cum and she greedily swallowed it. She licked up any drops she missed and grinned when his body jerked with the aftershocks.

"Lily…that….fuck…I love you," he groaned. She laughed and crawled up on the bed to hover over him. His eyes were glazed over and a very stupid grin etched on his face. He pulled her into a kiss.

"Wait…"

"I don't care Lily," he grumbled crashing his lips to hers, licking himself out of her mouth and she let out her own whine. He rolled them over until he was lying on top of her. She let her legs fall open to feel him press against her when there was a pounding on the door.

"If you two are having sex on my bed…I will murder you both! Hurry up!" Charlie's voice yelled through the door. Cas pulled away and started laughing, hiding his face in her neck.

"Well…damn," She joined him laughing. The both of them got off the bed and Lily finally changed into more comfortable clothes. Opting leave her bra off…she smirked when he noticed and blushed…hoping to tempt him later…she really liked it when Cas touched her. He took her hand and pulled her out of the room.

* * *

Cas watched Lily join their friends on the couch, leaving a spot for him next to her. He couldn't fight the stupid grin on his face. Whatever brought that one was freaking amazing…he had never felt anything like that before. He was getting a little scared that he would wake up from all of this…and everything would have been all a really good dream. Tasting himself on her tongue made it a little more real to him that this was HIS reality. He bit his lip hard to keep himself from letting out an embarrassing giggle.

"Cas…ok what the hell did you two do?" Charlie asked with a raised brow. He suddenly felt guilty…it was her room after all.

"Um…" He really didn't know how to answer her. Charlie rolled her eyes but gave him a huge smile before joining her girlfriend on the opposite couch. Cas picked up the two sodas and joined them, loving the feeling of Lily pressed up against his chest.

The next thing he knew he was waking up and the sun was shining through the windows of the very cold basement. He rubbed his eyes with one hand and looked around. Lily was curled up on his chest, a heavy comforter covering the both of them. Balthazar was in the recliner…upside down snoring. Cas stifled a laugh when his friend barked in his sleep. He heard a small noise and looked at the other couch, feeling his face burn instantly. He could see Ruby's head thrown back and mouth open…and the blankets were moving.

"Fuck Char…oh god baby," She moaned softly and Cas's mouth dropped open. He couldn't see what Charlie was doing but holy shit…he felt perverted and a little gross watching them but he couldn't look away. Especially when Ruby arched her back and let out a low moan, she bit her lip and giggled. Charlie reemerged with a huge grin on her face moving up to kiss Ruby hard, their bodies still grinding against each other. Cas felt his whole body heat up and his dick get painfully hard…Lily moving her leg to push between his legs didn't help.

The girls on the other couch flipped over and Ruby disappeared under the comforter, Charlie giggling and gripping the arm of the couch with her nails. Cas really need to stop watching…he couldn't imagine how pissed the girls would be…including Lily…who would not stop moving her leg. He reached down to try and get her leg from between his but she wouldn't budge.

These girls were trying to kill him…he was going to die from need over load. He thanked god Balth was still sound asleep or else this would just get even weirder than it was. He heard a loud intake of breath and looked over at Charlie…she had her back arched and little mewls were coming from her opened mouth. He could clearly see her hips canting up and down as she whined. She shot up and her hand went between her legs, cupping the back of what he assumed was Ruby's head.

"Oh god Ruby yes!" She moaned and her whole body shuddered; falling back onto the couch. Ruby crawled back up and they shared another heated kiss before they snuggled together. Cas swallowed thickly and had to stifle his own moan when Lily's fingers slipped into his pj pants, grazing the skin just above his dick. What the hell did the girls eat last night? He waited a few minutes before prying Lily's hand out of his pants and scrambling off the couch. Practically running into the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face to calm his over acting body.

"Cas? You ok?" he heard Lily's sleepy voice call out to him. He opened the door and she looked up at him with a worried look.

"Yeah…just had to pee…I'll be back in a sec…" Cas said nervously. He tried to shut the door but Lily stepped inside instead, jumping up to sit on the bathroom sink.

"You saw them didn't you?" She asked with an amused expression. Cas opened his mouth but no words would come out

"It doesn't matter cause I can tell," She grinned looking down at the obvious tent in his pants. He covered his face and felt so horrible.

"Lil I am so sorry…"

"Baby, I'm not upset," She laughed. He pulled his hands away and stared at her.

"You're not?"

"No! Come on it's Ruby and Charlie…and I've woken up to their morning sessions several times…I'll even admit it's freaking hot…plus they don't like dick so I don't have to worry about them going after your perverted self…." She snickered and he shook his head.

"You have no filter in the morning do you?" Cas laughed running his hands through his unruly hair. She bit her lip and pulled him in by his shirt, locking her ankles together behind him.

"Nope…I didn't get a chance to ask you…was what I did last night ok?" She asked and Cas felt his whole body shudder.

"You're kidding me right? That…was amazing. But I really need to know where this is all coming from? I love you Lily and as much as I am loving all of this…" He trailed off…his hands cupping the sides of her face.

"Because I love you and I love watching your face when I touch you and last night…well…I don't' know exactly where that came from. I just wanted to touch you and that turned into me needing to taste you…I don't feel like I HAVE to do it if that's what you're getting at," She said and he licked his dry lips when her fingers went under his shirt to trace the elastic of his pjs.

"It was a fleeting thought…we've only been together for a few days and I just don't want you to feel obligated or rushed," he said.

"Don't worry, I'll tell you but I'm happy and I absolutely love what we're doing…especially when you touch me…or when I feel this…" Lily reached into his pants and grabbed hold of his throbbing erection. Cas let out a moan and nearly fell over but his hands on either side of her stopped him.

"When this is so hard and pressed against me…Cas…I can't even describe to you what it does to me," She whimpered into his ear as her hand began to stroke him slowly.

"Show me," he panted out, moving his face to kiss up her neck, sucking on a sensitive spot on her neck. He smirked when she whined. Her free hand grabbed his wrist and attentively placed it on her inner thigh, guiding it up to cup her very heated crotch. Cas let out a low moan. He could feel her shorts were getting damp and that nearly had him come undone.

"Lil…I want to touch you," He whimpered biting down on her ear. She swallowed hard and pulled her hand out of his pants. She bit her lip as she pushed him to sit down on the toilet, moving to straddle his legs. Taking his hand against she guided him into her shorts and Cas couldn't stop the loud moan when his fingers touched her for the first time with no barriers between them.

"It's ok Cas…" She shuddered as her fingers dug into his shoulders. He nodded and kept his eyes locked on her before daring to cup her groin with his hand. She was so wet it made his whole body feel tight with need. His middle finger slipped between the lips and she whimpered, her hips jerking a little. He explored her with his finger, marveling at just how wet she was getting, it was seeping all over his fingers.

She threw her head back and let out a dirty moan when his finger brushed over a nub. Biting his lip he rubbed it and grinned when she cried out, her body beginning to grind down on his hand.

"Fuck Cas!" She pressed her lips together tightly.

"Does that feel okay?" He asked teasingly, letting his pointer finger join and massage that nub, letting it squeeze between the digits.

"Oh my god," She whined as her whole body started shaking, he wrapped his free arm around her, pulling her closer. He leaned in and caught her lips with his, sucking her tongue into his mouth. One hand clung to his shoulder as the other moved into his hair, pulling just a little. Cas felt himself grinning…she was unraveling into a sweaty mess in his arms and he loved it…that he could make her feel just as good as he did the night before.

"I love you Lily," He moaned into her ear and she cried out loudly when he pressed his fingers harder against that nub.

"Shit! OH Cas! I love you!" She moaned forcing her eyes open before she threw her head back again, her orgasm ripping through her. He watched in awe as she bit her lip, a dirty little giggle escaping her mouth. She leaned over and kissed him, slowly thrusting her tongue into his mouth. It took him a few minutes to realize his hand was still in her shorts and completely covered in her essence. He slowly took his hand away and she whimpered making him smirk. He raised his hand to his mouth and gingerly licked up his finger, shuddering, he wasn't expecting it to taste so sweet.

"Jesus Cas…" She laughed her eyes wide watching him.

"Just returning the favor," He grinned keeping his eyes on her as he sucked his fingers clean. She let out a feral growl before attacking his lips, kissing him hard. They stayed that way for a long time, kissing and groping at each other. Lily had knelt down on the ground again, bringing him in a crumpling sweaty mess, her name being called out over and over again.

"We…need…shower…." He gasped trying to catch his breath. She nodded and gave him a deep kiss.


	10. Ch 10 Winter Break

Thank you Angiepanda1 for the awesome review, it meant a lot and gave me extra drive to keep writing this story.

And just for a visual…Skylar's muse is Ian Somerhalder

This is gonna be another long one…

* * *

_It's so hard to think this could fade away_

_But what goes up much come down_

_Why can't we just live life with no consequence _

_And always live in the now_

_Forget about the sunrise_

_Fight the sleep in your eyes_

_I don't wanna miss a second with you_

_Let's stay this way forever_

_Its only getting better if we want it to_

~December~

Castiel let out a long pitiful sigh…the words from his history book starting to blur and blend together. Four very long hours of straight studying was turning his brain into mush. Tomorrow was the last day of school before Christmas break and he couldn't wait another second. The past week had been nothing but studying and cramming for everyone. Especially Lily and Balthazar…Cas prayed that all the late night studying sessions would help.

Tomorrow brought the promise of so many things…no more homework, time with his friends, Christmas, a planned camping trip with everyone…and finally a chance to just be with Lily. Everything had hit all at once when Lily ran out of her Math class in tears, Balthazar following close behind. After getting her to calm down she explained that if she didn't get at least a B on her midterm, she was going to fail and have to take summer school to make it up. Balth was in the same boat and looked just as defeated. Cas pulled the girls together and helped their friends study nearly every night.

Now he just had to brush up on History facts before the mid term tomorrow and all would be well…if only he could get Lily and Michael to stop distracting him. They weren't really doing it to be mean…just wanted him to relax and not stress out so much but he couldn't help it. History and him…were not friends. Lily even tried to help him…she loved History and was acing the class…was even planning on taking Honors History next semester. He blamed the fact that he had "dick" as his teacher…while she had Mr. Cranmer…one of the few amazing teachers on campus.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and hesitated…everyone of his friends were trying their best to keep him from breaking down from the self inflicting stress he was creating for himself…it made him smile every time. He had friends…amazing friends at that. Shaking his head he pulled the cell out and laughed….4 new text messages, 1 picture message, and one video message…

**Video Message from The Roche! **_Sent at 9:30 pm_

Castiel barked out a loud laugh, Balth was lying upside down on the couch, Charlie and Ruby next to him.

"Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassie! Stop studying and come over dammit! We miss you buddy!" Charlie sung out.

"Dude…you're brilliant already, you don't need all this extra studying! Come over Castiel…we have cooooookies," Balthazar teased before cracking up. He recognized the pair of hands that suddenly appeared in the video, tickling Balthazar until the phone crashed to the floor. The screen moved around quickly and suddenly Lily's face appeared.

"Baby…listen to your friends…get off your cute little ass and join us… I love you Cas!" She blew a kiss at the screen before panning back at his friends rolling around laughing on the floor. Cas stared at this phone, happy little tears filling his eyes. They made him feel so overwhelmed at times…but he wouldn't change it for anything. Rubbing his eyes he opened the other messages.

**Picture Message from Baby Girl: **_Sent at 8:00 pm_

Cas grinned…she was holding up the stuffed black cat he had won for her at the carnival. Her lips were set in a pout but clearly she was trying to hide the big smile forcing it's way through. Underneath read "I miss you baby." Ever since Halloween, she'd been calling him that more and more. He closed his eyes and sighed…whether or not it made him the 'girl' in the relationship (which Balth loved to tease and point out), he absolutely loved it. He'd tried a few different endearing nicknames but nothing ever felt right.

Though the night of his birthday he had called her Baby Girl…and got a very…enthusiastic response from her…while at the top of the Ferris wheel.

**Message From Ruby Rue**: _Sent at 8:15 pm_

Hey baby boy! We miss you bro!

**Message from Char Bear**: _Sent at 8:45pm_

Cassie, I swear to god if you don't answer at least one of us we're coming after you!

Castiel laughed shaking his head. The girls were becoming the sisters he had always wanted. He loved them both but he felt the closest with Ruby…she was even going to join Drama next semester!

**Message from Balthazar**: _Sent at 9:00 pm_

I don't know how long I can keep the girls on lock down bro! Haha!

**Message from Baby Girl: **_Sent at 9:20 pm_

Answer your messages! :O(

Castiel shook his head again and was about to drop his phone on the desk when it vibrated. There was a new message from Lily and he bit his lip. He didn't need to open it…he could hear the familiar roar of her car out side. He wasn't a car guy…and never would be…but he loved that car…especially snuggling up with Lily in the backseat.

**Message from Baby Girl:** _Sent at 9:45 pm_

I feel like I haven't seen you in days…any more studying and you're just gonna fry your brain. Please come outside.

Cas couldn't fight them anymore…even Michael had been on his case all day…and he knew in the long run that they were right. It would help to get his mind refreshed for a little bit. He grabbed his trench coat from off his bed and hurried to the front door.

"About damn time little brother…you two need to be back by at least midnight," Michael grinned up at him from the couch. Cas had a brief moment of guilt…he'd been leaving Michael by himself a lot lately. His brother noticed and gave him a big smile, pushing his leg out to kick Cas in the ass. With a short laugh he made his way to the door, practically running towards the "Beast" as they fondly called it.

The '69 Ford Cougar Classic was now the object of envy from every male at their school. He remembered the very first day they had pulled up in that steel blue muscle car, all eyes were on them. It made it even better when all of them crawled out of it…once again the nerd herd showed up the popular kids. It still made Cas laugh until he had tears in his eyes when he thought of the pure look of shock on Adam's face. He even tried to side up to Castiel to talk cars with him. All of them just laughed and walked off…oh it was so sweet.

He heard cheers from inside the car and snickered, pulling open the passenger door. The girls and Balth were in the backseat singing obnoxiously to the song blaring out of the stereo. Lily looked up at him with a huge smile, leaning over to give him a kiss. He grinned and turned in his seat so he could see all of them. Lily reached up to unhook the top and with the help of Balth, they got the convertible top tucked in safely.

"Alright kiddos…where too?" Lily grinned reaching out to take Cas's hand. He scooted closer and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He yelped when Balth crawled over to sit next to him.

"Hmmm….oh! let's go that clearing up on the hill!" Ruby offered. Lily nodded and turned the car in that direction.

"Glad you joined us bro…it's not the same without ya!" Balth grinned elbowing him in the side. Cas laughed and nudged him back with his shoulder.

It took about 20 minutes but the ride up to the hill was comfortable and Cas felt so relaxed he didn't want to get out of the car once they arrived. The girls and Balth scrambled out and started twirling around in circles.

"One more day Cas…no more studying…no more having to worry about being a distraction," Lily said softly. He looked at her and smiled, leaning down to press their lips together.

"I miss you too…and I can't wait. Especially to go camping!" Cas grinned bouncing in his seat a little. Lily laughed leaning into him.

About two weeks before Lily had come up with the idea of heading out to the cabin her dad left her. He was expecting it to be a ramshackle little house, which she laughed at. She explained that it was rather spacious with 4 rooms and once she talked her grandmother, working electricity and running water.

So they invited everyone, including Michael and his new girlfriend Rachel…who neither of them had met yet. He was even shocked but pleasantly so when Lily invited Skylar, who was slowly becoming part of their group. He was just as crazy as they were but he brought a little more 'sass' to everything much to Balth's chagrin.

Cas didn't know what it was but whenever he was around he'd get a stirring in his chest…a tight fluttering he couldn't quite define. Whenever he would smile at either him or Lily…with those sharp gray/blue eyes he'd feel it but he always just pushed it away to figure out later.

After school they were all to meet up at Cas and Lily's to spend the night so they could head out early the next morning to spend until the day after Christmas up at the cabin. Cas had checked the weather and got even more excited…it was going to snow almost the entire time.

"Cas…your phone," Lily giggled poking him in the ribs. He frowned and realized his phone had fallen next to her leg. He scooped it up just as the vibration ended.

**Message from Skylar: **_Sent at 10:15 pm_

Hey Cassio! I don't have Lily's number so I thought I would shoot you a text…they need me to come into work after school tomorrow. I'm still coming with you guys…just I'll be at your house around 9 pm…is that ok?"

Cas felt himself smirk as he read the text. Skylar worked at an Animal Shelter after school and on the weekends. Lily looked over and read the message, she grinned as well.

**Message to Skylar: **_Sent at 10:17 pm_

Hey Sky…its no problem…we'll probably be just watching movies.

**Message from Skylar: **_Sent at 10:19 pm_

Awesome…I can't wait! Did you see the weather? It's gonna snow…I'm pummeling all of you with snowballs!

Both of them laughed and Cas shoved the phone back in his pocket. Lily stretched out her arms before taking his hand, finally pulling him out of the car.

_~December 19__th_

Lily chewed on her thumb nervously as the demon Crowley slowly graded their midterms…he was doing it on purpose. She was so nervous her stomach was in knots. A few seats over Balthazar was just as bad…his skin was turning a little green. As much as they would love to admit that they had slacked off and not tried…math was just not their strong suit…but thanks to their amazing friends they pulled together to help them study. She was anxious for this day to be over…she barely got to see Cas this entire week and it was annoying her. Call her the clingy girlfriend she wouldn't care…she missed her boyfriend dammit.

She had been so happy when Cas finally got out of his room last night to join them. It was fun and relaxing just lying around on the cold grass with her friends. When they got home around midnight, both of them were ready to pass out. Lily went to her room to change and the next thing she knew, she was waking up to her alarm. Cas was wrapped around her like usual and it made her smile. He had come in to check on her only to find her completely passed out on the bed. After setting the alarm he just crawled in with her. It was rare that they ever slept in her room…her bed was way too small.

"Miss Mosby…come here for a second," Crowley's gruff voice broke her rambling mind and she swallowed hard. Balthazar gave her a small smile as she made her way to the desk. Her teacher gave her a small smirk handing her the test. She flipped it over and tried to not scream.

"A…an A-?" She squeaked staring at him in shock.

"Yes my dear…whatever you did…it worked…congratulations…now get out of my class," He snickered and Lily had to fight every fiber in her being to hug the handsome demon. She grabbed up her purse (the only test she had today was her dance final so no backpack needed) and blew a kiss to Balth before leaving the room. Knowing Cas was in the middle of his English final, she leaned against the wall to wait for Balthazar.

After a few more minutes he finally emerged out of the classroom and he refused to meet her eyes. She held her breath when his face finally broke out in a huge grin.

"I got a B….a fuckin B!" He cried hugging Lily and spinning her around. She laughed and had to cover her mouth quickly.

"Balth…we did it! I can't wait to tell them…ugh! I have to go warm up now…I just wanted to see what you got," her cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so big.

"I know me neither…I'll meet you after…Cas has English and History…while the girls have Science, Dance and I think Ruby has Spanish today…so I'll just meet you guys at your car," Balth said dancing around a bit. Lily giggled and handed him her car keys.

"Remember the rules…anything happens to 'the beast' and I'll kill you," She grinned. He kissed her forehead and mock saluted. Rolling her eyes she hurried towards the arts building. She barely made it into the changing room when she was attacked by a mass of red hair.

"Well?!" Charlie screeched.

"We passed! I got an A- and Balth got a B!" Lily cried throwing her arms around her best friend. Charlie squealed and hugged her tightly.

"I'm so happy! I passed my Science final! I'm worried about Rubes though…she was petrified to go into her Spanish class," Charlie frowned and Lily couldn't help bite her lip. None of them knew Spanish…so they felt helpless when their friend struggled with her studies. Michael even tried to help but he was so rusty it was doing more damage than good. Lily knew of one person who was fluent….and it pissed her off to no end that she couldn't call him for help…her own brother. Lily shook her head of the sudden flash of rage she felt. Charlie gave her a look but she shrugged it off.

"Just a fleeting thought…if my brother wasn't such…"

"A raging douche nozzle?" Charlie offered.

"Exactly…I could have called him…I'm sorry," Lily sighed and Charlie pulled her in for another hug.

"Shut it…Ruby will be fine…just over thinking it like Castiel does…now come on, we gotta stretch…what song you doing your solo to?" Charlie asked pulling her towards their lockers.

* * *

Cas kicked at a stone as he made his way to their locker. He received a text message from both Lily and Balthazar to meet them at her car after he was done. With all the anxiety he had before the test he felt a little deflated now. Just like everyone thought, he received an A on all his mid terms. Roman was even surprised…and Cas knew that dick wanted to give him a lower grade to just fuck with him…but thankfully he didn't. Cas snatched his test from him and hurried out of the classroom. He was hoping he'd find either of his friends in the hall but he knew Lily had to warm up for her final solo.

Before going to the car he stopped by his locker and began to clean out their stuff. Not even really bothering to go through it, just shoved it into his bag.

"Adam just stop ok?" He heard a familiar voice cry out. Further down the hall he saw Adam and Tessa, his grip on her arm was tight and her face scrunched up in pain. Cas bit down hard on his lip and shut his locker. He didn't like Tessa…but no one deserved to be treated like that. Adam leaned closer to Tessa's ear and he couldn't make out what was being said but Tessa cringed. Without thinking he hurried over, only stopping when Adam glared at him.

"What the hell do you want Nerd?" Adam sneered and Cas caught the slight wince from Tessa.

"You ok?" He asked her, completely ignoring him. She hesitated for a moment but nodded, keeping her eyes locked on Adam. He watched her for a moment and then sighed…there wasn't anything he could really do… he moved past them and out of the school. Half way to 'The Beast' he could see Balthazar lying on the hood of the car, music blaring from inside.

"Hey man! Guess what?" Balth asked jumping down. Cas threw his bag in the passenger side and waited.

"I got a B!" Cas grinned wide and hugged his friend.

"I knew you could do it!" Cas laughed when Balth spun him around.

"Thanks to you and the girls…I won't have to take summer school!"

"Do you know what Lily got?" Cas asked biting his lip. Balth opened his mouth to answer but promptly shut it.

"Oh…no….she'd kill me…" Balth snickered before crawling back up on the hood. Cas shook his head and joined him.

"Hey bitches! Scoot over!" Ruby called out. Cas opened his eyes and watched a very flushed and grinning Ruby throw her bag in the car. She crawled up next to him and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Well?" He prompted.

"I got an A…." She said quietly and both laughed when Balth let out a loud woot.

* * *

Lily watched in awe as Charlie flowed around the dance room dancing to a very hauntingly beautiful instrumental version of "Lost in Paradise" by Evanescence. She glanced over at Jo who was smiling fondly at the their guest. The butterflies exploded in her stomach again and she tried to swallow the panic down. Char finished her piece and took a little bow before moving to sit next to her.

"You'll do fine…just think of us while you dance…especially Cas," Charlie grinned and Lily could have kissed her. She always knew just what to say to set her muses back in order. She took an extra second to stretch before moving in place.

"Lily Mosby, Junior…" She said softly looking straight into the camera. Jo always recorded the test solos, that way she could grade them equally and not by just what she remembered with each dancer. She gave a subtle nod to Jo and she hit play, the sounds of "Never Close Our Eyes" by Adam Lambert filled the room.

When she was finished she glanced over at Jo and bit her lip at how big her smile was. Their guest gave her a nod with a smile of his own, writing something down on his notepad. She gave a little bow and hurried to join Charlie.

"Alright everyone, I will grade these tonight and email your critiques to you within the next week. Please give a warm thank you to our guest…and he'll be in touch with us as well…have a good Christmas everyone!" Jo said before turning off her camera and packing up. Lily grabbed up her bag and turned to leave when a warm hand touched her shoulder. She looked up into chocolate brown eyes and an easy smile.

"Lily right?" he asked. Lily was utterly tongue-tied…all she could do was manage a small nod.

"I just wanted to tell you that you did a really good job out there…you have amazing talent. Your teacher speaks very highly of you and I can't wait to see the footage of your performance from your recital," he said and Lily felt her body go numb. Getting any kind of praise from this man…please don't let this be a dream.

"Seeing it live would be better though….don't you think Lily?" Jo said suddenly appearing behind him.

"If you can arrange that…I would definitely fly back up here to see it…hers and Miss Bradbury's…" he grinned at Jo who flashed him a wicked smile back.

"Oh I think we could…right Lily?" Lily stared at them and felt herself nod.

"Y-yes…we can do that for you," Lily finally managed to choke out. He bit his lip rubbing his hands together.

"Awesome…it was really great to meet you Lily…hopefully we'll see each other soon," He grinned and linked arms with Jo, pulling her into the office. Lily couldn't move…it was too surreal.

"Lil! Come on everyone is waiting for us!" she heard Charlie call out and she snapped out of her haze. Taking off in a run she jumped on her best friend, wrapping her legs around the girl's waist.

"Whoa! What the hell?" Charlie giggled.

"He wants to see our solos from the recital…performed live! Char…he's gonna choose us!" Lily practically screamed cupping Charlie's face and giving her a kiss right on the lips.

"Uh…should I be worried?" Ruby asked. Lily looked up and laughed, her face turning red. Ruby leaned against the wall with an amused look on her face. She dropped down and tackled Ruby as well.

"I take it went well?" Ruby giggled. She turned to look at her friend who was covering her mouth to keep from letting out her own scream.

"You have…no idea….oh my god we have to go tell the boys," Charlie said rubbing her face as if to wake up from this very real shared dream they were having. Lily couldn't wait…she snatched up her stuff and took off running. The girls were right on her heels as they crashed down the path to where her car was sitting, the boys lounging up on the hood. Cas jumped off when he saw them, a confused expression on his face turned into worry.

"Cas!" She cried out dropping her bag on the ground before jumping into his arms like she had with Charlie. Before he could even ask she kissed him hard, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

"What the hell is going on?" she heard Balth ask but the girls were too busy trying to catch their breath to answer. Lily pulled away and grinned down at her very confused boyfriend.

"Is everything ok?" he asked a little breathless. She giggled and nodded.

"Oh my god yes….you remember how I told you we were having a guest come critique as well as Jo for our final?" Lily asked sliding down to her feet. She moved closer so that there was hardly any space between the friends. Balth leaned against the car with his arm draped over Ruby's shoulders and nodded his head. Ruby bit her lip and looked between the boys…she had been the only one that actually knew who it was…she was a very persuasive person…and Charlie couldn't keep it from her long.

"Yeah…." Cas asked giving Balth a nervous glance.

"It was fucking Travis Wall!" Charlie exclaimed and the boy's eyes widened. Balth and Cas got roped into watching So You Think You Can Dance and knew who Travis Wall was…and just how good the man was. Getting 2nd place in season 2 only to become an amazing choreographer on the show and receiving several Emmy's for his dances. The guy was a big deal.

When he had stepped into the room Lily thought she was going to hyperventilate…it was a dream of hers to meet and hopefully perform for him. And when he got excited to see her and Charlie perform their routines live….she could have died happy.

"Wait….THE Travis Wall? The dancer you three shriek over? How the hell?" Balth asked with his mouth hanging open. She glanced up at Cas who had the same shocked expression.

"He's friends with Jo, they grew up together and she called in a favor. He's running a workshop this summer and needs two principle dancers….not only was it our final but an audition for him…and he singled me and Char out…he wants to see our routines live instead of a recording…" Lily explained barley able to hold in her excitement anymore.

"So pretty much…he already picked you two…oh my god Lil!" Cas cried out wrapping his arms around her. She let out an embarrassing squeal and clung on to him. She heard the same come out of Charlie and she laughed.

After several moments of congratulations of passing their midterms, the overwhelming success of the dancers' audition, the group finally piled into 'the beast' and stopped one by one to each of their houses to pick up their bags.

It was about 3 in the afternoon when the managed to get back to Cas's house, scaring the hell out of Michael with all the noise they brought through the door. Michael stood in the Kitchen with his arms crossed staring at all of them. He tried to look upset but when he got bombarded with all the good news he couldn't help the big smile on his face. To celebrate he ordered pizza for them all and announced that they were going to finally meet Rachel that night.

When she walked into the house Cas and Lily were both surprised with how quiet the girl was. After a couple of hours being around the rowdy group she finally opened up and Lily was relieved with just how much sass came out of her. Michael needed a woman to keep him on his toes but loved him unconditionally…and she could read it all over the woman's face…they may be still dating but it wouldn't take long.

It was around 9pm when the doorbell rang again and Skylar joined them. Lily couldn't help the heat creeping in her face when he threw that little devious smirk of his at her…or even Cas. It made her giggle when Cas's face would get just as red.

"Alright…alright…cheers to the very first semester I actually enjoyed! You guys are the best friends anyone could ever have…and to welcome the noobes to our crazy antics!" Balthazar called out holding up his soda can. Lily laughed and raised hers as well, Cas clinked theirs together and they all cried out cheers.

"I love you," Cas whispered against her ear and she smiled, turning her head to kiss at his jaw.

* * *

Cas woke up with a groan as Lily rolled over to throw his alarm clock into the wall. He let out a hoarse laugh when it broke. It was the first day of break…and they were waking up at 5 am…Cas rubbed at his face and sighed. He felt the bed move and opened his eyes just as Lily was straddling his stomach. He grinned up at her his hands resting on her legs. He loved waking up like this…most of the time they wouldn't even do anything, just snuggle with each other until the absolute latest they could. But it had been nearly a week and half since they even woke up next to each other. Using any moment they could to study. He had missed it like mad and from the look she was giving him, so had she.

"How much time you think we have?" Lily whispered grazing her nails down the front of his shirt. Cas bit his lip and listened for a moment…from what he could tell, they were the only ones awake for now.

"Not long…oh god," Cas's eyes rolled up and he sucked in a breath when she moved her body so their groins were pressed against each other. He got hard almost immediately and he couldn't help the low moan. He opened his eyes to see her grinning down at him, her long hair draped over one shoulder.

"Lil…god I missed this," He moaned reaching up to pull her face down. She kissed him softly, her hips beginning to move against him in the same slow rythym as her lips. One of his hands found its way into her thick hair, pulling just a bit as his tongue licked at her mouth. Over the past couple months he had been getting more and more confident with showing her what he wanted. He never knew how much it would turn her on when he took control. She shivered above him and moaned into his mouth, letting his tongue slide against her own.

With a sly grin she sat up, pulling her shirt off and throwing it to the side. Cas grinned and moved his hands up her sides to cup her breasts, her entire body shuddering when his fingers rolled her nipples.

"Shit Cas…" She moaned bending down to kiss him hard, her hips picking up speed. Cas wrapped his arms around her, rolling them over so that he was on top. Her giggle turned into a loud moan as his hips surged against hers. The coil in the pit of his stomach gave a sharp twist when she raised her body to meet his thrusts, making the friction even more. They were both so very close but Cas wanted to try something new…even if they didn't have much time. He gave her a hard kiss before moving his lips down her neck, to her chest, grinning at the loud whine when he ignored her breasts.

"Cas…what…what are you doing?" She gasped when he started to pull down her shorts. He'd only seen her once before and that had been at night…giving her a mischievous smirk, he continued to pull them down her legs. She blushed and tried to pull the covers over herself but he pushed them away. He was nervous…god he was nervous but he couldn't let it show…or the whole thing would turn insanely awkward.

He remembered the embarrassing conversation he had with Ruby a week ago about what he wanted to do…it was after Lily had given him a blowjob one night and he felt bad not being able to return the favor. Yeah they rutted and touched each other but he wanted to give her something more. He had tried to ask Charlie first but she just looked at him, her face going pale and stormed out of the room.

"Cas…what did you do to Charlie?" Ruby asked with a laugh. Cas turned red and tried to walk out of the kitchen but she stopped him.

"I…well Lily…she um…" Cas stammered running his fingers through his hair.

"She gives you head?" Cas choked on the sharp intake of breath and coughed. Ruby laughed and smacked his back.

"I'll take that as a yes…and you what? Want advice on how to go down on a girl?"

"Jesus Ruby!" Cas winced and rubbed his face but when he caught her eye, he nodded shyly. She giggled and cupped his face.

"You…are too cute…the only advice I can give you is to pay attention to what makes her breathe harder and moan…do you…touch her down there?" Ruby grinned when he nodded, "Well where she likes you to touch her, just replace it with your tongue…but if you're really desperate….watch lesbian porn," Ruby shrugged and Cas thought he was going to die from embarrassment. But…he was desperate.

Thank god for free porn.

Cas pushed her legs a little farther, moving to lie between them, "Cas….oh fuck," She whimpered staring down at him with wide eyes, her pupils completely blown out. His fingers brushed along the inside of her thighs, making her quiver. He took in a calming breath before tentavily flicking out his tongue at her lips. Her body jerked and she pulled a pillow over her face to muffle the noises escaping her mouth.

He smoothed his hand up her stomach trying to calm her and it worked a little until he licked up her slit, moaning at her taste. One of her hands grabbed at the one on her stomach clinging onto his fingers. He grinned and moved his free hand to spread her open and he moaned loudly at how wet she was. Moving his face closer, he lapped up at the sweet essence, noticing at how hard she jerked when his tongue grazed that nub he loved to torture with his fingers. Rolling his eyes up to watch her, he rolled it around with his tongue and gave himself an inner high five when she cried out his name.

"You ok baby girl?" He grinned and she moaned, her body starting to tremble beneath him.

"Fuck…don't stop," her voice was muffled but he heard her clearly. He pressed his lips against her clit, sucking at it. His fingers moved and she let out a loud moan when they brushed against her entrance. Moaning around her clit, her back arched off the bed and the hand that clutched at his moved into his hair, pulling at it just a bit as her knees bent up then fell apart. It opened her up a bit more and Cas found himself licking and sucking at her furiously, his fingers teasing against her hole.

"Oh my god Cas…oh god I'm…fuck!" she cried out as her hips canted up and Cas sucked a little harder on her clit, his middle finger just barely dipping into her. Cas nearly came himself when she let out the dirtiest sound he ever heard. It was a mixture of a growl and whimper. His fingers were coated as she rode out her orgasm, his tongue licking it up as she rode it out. Once her body stopped twitching he crawled up to her, moving the pillow away from her flushed face.

"….wow…" She giggled pulling him down to kiss her. He moaned into her mouth as his dick pressed up against her, he could feel her through his pants and it was almost too much. He couldn't help the sudden thrust against her and she cried out, her body starting to move against him roughly.

"Mmm Cas…shit…if we didn't have to leave soon," She whimpered, her hand moving between them and into his pants. He was still pressed tightly against her so the added pressure of her fingers wrapping around his very hard dick made him shudder.

"What…what would you do?" He asked between moans, he kissed up her neck and bit down on the spot behind her ear. She keened out a moan and her hand moved faster against his thrusts.

"I'd let you have me Cas…completely," She moaned into his ear and Cas was gone. He came with a shout of her name, his body going very still as he shot his load into her hand.

"Cas…" She moaned into his ear and he felt her tongue trace up his neck. He knew he was lying fully on her but he couldn't move. She felt too good against him and he wanted to stay there. They heard a loud knock on the door and he thanked god he remembered to lock the door last night.

"Um…if you guys are done…we have breakfast ready," they heard Ruby call through the door.

"We'll be out in a minute," Lily called back, covering her face with her clean hand. They heard Ruby's laugh and then it was quiet.

"So…how was that?" Cas asked nervously. Lily rolled her eyes and pulled him down for a deep kiss, sucking his bottom lip between hers.

"Baby…that was fucking amazing…now lets go shower," She said and pushed him off of her. He landed on his side with a grunt and watched her pull on one of his longer shirts with a grin on his face.

* * *

It took five hours when they finally pulled up to the cabin. Everyone let out appreciative noises when they saw the size of the place. Lily grinned and got out of the car. Because of the snow they had to take Skylar's ford escape and Rachel's Jeep. Each grabbed their bags and scurried into the cabin to claim their rooms. Lily pulled Cas through the house and into the master bedroom.

"But I'm the oldest!" Michael pouted.

"It's my house Mikey!" She laughed throwing her bag on the king size bed. Cas shrugged at his brother and Mike threw a playful hissy fit as he found another room for him and Rachel. Lily shook her head and looked around the room…it had been years since she'd been here but nothing had changed. Thank god for her grandmother and her thoughtfulness. The place was cleaned and stocked up to the hilt with food and drinks. There was even a note from her on the fridge telling them to enjoy and be safe.

Lily moved over to the window and gasped…the lake. She completely forgot about it.

"What's wrong?" Cas asked stepping up behind her. She looked up at him to see the grin on his face.

"I wonder if it'd be safe to go skating?" He asked.

"I'm not sure but I hope so…we're gonna have so much fun!" Lily giggled and gave him a quick kiss. She hurried out of the room to find her friends all in the family room looking around. Skylar was looking at a picture and Lily felt her chest squeeze.

"Is this your dad?" He asked softly when she stepped up next to him. She was 8 in the picture, sitting on her dad's knee holding up a rather large fish they caught.

"Yeah…that's him. So uh…did you find a room?" She swallowed hard pulling the picture from his hands. He bit his lip and nodded as she put the picture back on the shelf.

"Yeah…though I wanted to room with the girls…I have to settle with Balthazar," He teased and Lily gave him a small smile. She tried very hard to push the sadness away but it was hard…she missed her dad so much and she should have known how hard it would be surrounded by everything that used to be his. She felt a hand on her shoulder and gazed up into Skylar's ice blue eyes.

"I know how hard it is Lily…I lost my sister a few years back…" He swallowed thickly and Lily nodded, reaching up to squeeze his fingers. He gave her a comforting smile and moved to join the others chatting loudly about what they should do their first night.

"Everything ok?" Cas asked from behind her. She spun around and nodded, wrapping her arms around his middle.

"I just miss my dad is all…I'll be ok…you have a promise to keep mister," She grinned pulling away. She gripped his hand and pulled him out of the house. The crisp air stung at her lungs a bit but she loved it…everything was so clean and pure up here. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, nearly getting lost in it when a snowball smacked into the side of her face.

"Hey! No fair!" Cas cried out with a laugh. She glanced over to see everyone making snowballs and starting a war. She cried out when another one caught her in the shoulder. She dove behind a tree to make her own. She launched it at the first person she saw who happened to be Skylar, getting him right in the face. He fell on his ass and scrambled to his feet as the girls attacked him, shoving snow in his hair. Lily snickered and let out a scream when she was tackled as well. Cas hovered over her grinning. She smiled up at him and bit her lip.

"I did promise to kiss you in the snow," he whispered before pressing their lips together. She sighed wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer. The cold from the snow was seeping through her clothes but she couldn't find it in herself to even care.

She didn't know how long they stayed that way but the next thing she knew was a snowball hitting the back of Cas's head. He shook out his hair and looked behind him. She saw his face blush and grinned when she saw it was Skylar, he looked at both of them with a smirk before running off. She bit her lip shaking her head.

After the snowball fight had finally broke up everyone hurried back into the house for warmth. Michael had a fire going and Rachel was making hot chocolate. Lily sat back for a moment taking in everything around her.

Charlie and Ruby were snuggled in one of the more cushioned couches near the fire. Both girls where whispering to each other and sharing very small kisses. Lily's heart squeezed watching them…they were so damn cute. Skylar sat at the fireplace with her father's guitar in his hands. Seeing it being played again made her warm all over. especially when he started to strum at the strings. Balthazar sat next to him and began to sing a song she never heard before. Cas sat on the other couch with a mug in his hands watching everyone like she was.

There were not enough words to even begin to describe how much she loved that boy…she didn't know what got into him that morning but she was glad for it. She wasn't lying either…if they had the time…she smirked and bit her lip…they had time tonight.

She moved from her spot against the wall and joined Cas on the couch, snuggling up close to him.

* * *

Cas swallowed hard and held his breath as he walked outside to join his older brother. Michael was sitting on the bench outside with Rachel gazing up at the incredibly clear night sky.

"Hey guys…um…can I talk to you for a sec Mike?" Cas stammered and Michael nodded. He kissed Rachel's forehead before pulling Cas to the other side of the porch. He jumped up and sat on the railing while Mike leaned his hip against it.

"What's up little brother?" Michael asked. Cas looked at him and blew out the breath he'd been holding.

"I…ugh…Michael…" Cas let out a groan running his fingers through his hair. Michael stood there patiently not wanting to push him.

"I think…Lily and I are ready…" He finally pushed out. Michael's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open.

"Oh…um…" Michael's face turned a little pale and it comforted Cas to know he wasn't the only nervous one.

"W-what do you need?" Michael cleared his throat and stood a little taller, trying to be the supportive older brother. Cas laughed a little and wrung his hands together.

"I really don't know what I'm doing…and I swear to god if you tell me to watch porn," Cas groaned and Michael barked out a laugh.

"Who the hell have you been talking to? Jesus," Michael wiped at his mouth trying to stifle the chuckling. Cas shrugged and couldn't help but snicker.

"Castiel…the first time is going to be bad…I'm telling you that right now. No matter how much you try to prep and get them…ready….it will hurt like a bitch for her," Michael said softly and Cas flinched. He knew that from his talks with the girls.

"You just have to try your hardest to not freak out…if you stay strong she can cling to that and use it to ground herself…"

"I'll try…Mike…do you have…um…" Cas blushed scarlet and thankfully his brother knew what he was trying to ask. He reached into his wallet and pulled out a condom, handing it to Cas.

"Even though I think you're way to young and moving…really fast…I'm glad you came to talk to me…and being careful. Good luck buddy," Michael said with a small smile. Cas mumbled thanks before slipping the condom into his pocket. He hopped off the railing and headed back inside. Everyone was still in their same spots, Skylar and Balthazar were still doing their duet performance. He smiled over at them before moving over to where Lily was sitting. He took her hand and silently pulled her down the hall and into their room.

"Cas…you ok?" She asked softly. He gave her a smile and moved in to kiss her, his hands cupping the sides of her face. She let out a soft sigh, her arms snaking around his middle, pulling him closer to her. Slowly he walked them over to the bed, gently pushing Lily down to lie on it. Biting her lip, she crawled back, pulling on his shirt for him to follow her.

His anxiety was trying its hardest to shove through but every touch of her hands or sigh that escaped her lips seemed to push it down. He wanted this so badly but he was scared…he didn't want to hurt her. It was normal yes but that didn't mean he had to be ok with it. He traced his fingers along the side of her face, begging for entrance to her mouth with his tongue. She ran her tongue teasingly slow along his before allowing him to lick inside her mouth. Their tongues rolled and teased the other as their breathing turned into ragged panting.

Soon the need for skin was to great and all the gentle touches were thrown out the window. Lily sat up and pulled on his shirt, throwing it away from them as he peeled off her flannel letting it join his on the floor. He sucked on her shoulder loving the breathless moan she gave him as his fingers unhooked her bra.

"You're so beautiful Lil," He whispered pressing their lips together, kissing her hard and full of passion. She whimpered and her fingers pulled on his hair a bit. He moved between her legs, grinding their groins together as they kissed.

"Cas….I want you…please baby," the begging whine in her voice sent a shudder though his spine and he couldn't help biting her shoulder.

"Are you sure?" He asked looking into her face.

"Yes…I love you so much Cas…please," She whimpered and her hips canted up against his.

"I love you too Lily….god I love you so fucking much," Cas groaned kissing his way down her neck and chest. Stopping to pay attention to her hard nipples, taking time to suck each into his mouth until she was a quivering mess. He slowed his ragged breathing and his hands trembled a bit as he unbuttoned her jeans, pulling them down her long legs. When her eyes closed again, he reached into his pocket to pull the condom out, placing it on the nightstand next to them.

His fingers hooked into the band of her panties and he held his breath, letting them join the rest of their scattered clothes. Her body shuddered and she bit her lip hard. He sent her a grin before leaning down to lick up her slit, his middle finger teasing against her hole.

"Fuck…oh god Cas!" She whined and suddenly he was being pushed down into the bed, Lily straddling his waist. Her mouth moved quickly down his chest and stomach, stopping only to flick along his hipbone. He groaned out and raised his hips up when her fingers pulled on his jeans. His heart was thudding in his chest watching her undress him with such heat in her eyes. It found him once again praying to god that this wasn't just a dream…that he wouldn't wake up to find himself back to where he was in the beginning of the year…before he met her.

Her eyes found his and they shared a knowing look…and he knew she was scared that this was all a dream as well…he yanked on her hand, pulling her flush against him. He rolled and kissed her hard, pressing his hands into hers above her head. She moaned into his mouth and her hips began to move against him. There was only one piece of clothing between them and he swallowed hard. This was it…he sat up on his haunches and he nervously pushed his briefs down, jumping a little when her hands joined his, helping guide them down his legs.

"Oh god Cas…" She shuddered, fingers wrapping around his shaft pumping a few times before Cas pulled away, not wanting to be too close to the edge.

"Lily…" it was getting harder to draw in an actual breath, he closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. Her fingers tangled in his hair and he felt her lips on his forehead.

"I'm ready baby…please…I want you so much," she moaned and Cas opened his eyes. She looked nervous but she wasn't scared anymore and it calmed him greatly. He pressed their lips together as his hand reached out to grab the condom but Lily held onto his wrist. He saw her swallow hard as she ripped it open with her teeth. Her hands shook a little and he couldn't help the moan when her fingers pushed the condom onto his throbbing cock.

She pulled him down against her and kissed him eagerly, her tongue pushing into his mouth. Cas concentrated on sucking on her tongue, trying to get her mind off of it when he guided himself into her tight wet heat. He moaned into her mouth as the head of his dick pushed in. She moaned into his mouth and her kissing became hungrier. He went slow and kept pushing in until he met a resistance and knew that this was it. Pressing his hands into hers again above her head, he kissed with everything he had, sucking hard on her tongue as he made the final push. She cried out in pain and he struggled against pulling away to make sure she was ok. He kept kissing her, one of his hands cupping the side of her face, his body stilling when he felt a tear. She pressed her face into his neck and tried to catch her breath.

"I'm so sorry Lily," He felt his throat tighten with guilt. He knew she was in pain but he couldn't deny how good it felt finally being inside of her. She was so tight and hot…it was overwhelming his brain and he had to fight every urge to start pounding into that wet heat. His hands gripped hers as he fought himself, but she shook her head and surprised him with kissing along his neck and shoulder.

"I'm ok Cas…I promise," She whispered and kissed him on the mouth which he greedily returned. When her hips started to move against his and a moan escaped her throat, he bit down on his lip as he pulled out just a bit, then thrusted back inside of her. She threw her head back and whimpered loudly, her legs wrapping around his waist tightly.

"Oh my god that feels good," she grunted when he pushed into her a bit harder. He looked down at her and felt his entire being shudder when she grinned up at him, her hands pulling out of his to tangle into his hair.

"Move Cas…please," She begged and he couldn't hold back any more. He started to move his hips faster and a little harder and soon Lily was moaning and crying out his name, turning his mind to utter goo.

"Fuck Cas…harder!" She cried out and he rose up on his arms to get some leverage as he complied, slamming their hips together. He was so close and he didn't know how much longer he could hold off…it felt too fucking good. Especially when she started to clench around him.

"Lily…fuck…baby girl I'm so close!" His gasp turned into a shout when her nails dragged down his back.

"Me too baby," Cas moved his angle a bit and Lily's back arched off the bed, "Right there…oh fuck! Right there Castiel!" She was on the verge of screaming and Cas was right there with her, crying out her name over and over again as they both hit their climax, coming completely undone in each other's arms. Cas collapsed on top of her trying to catch his breath. His entire body was shaking and he didn't want to move…even when he tried she wouldn't let him.

"I don't want to crush you," He panted against her sweat-slicked skin.

"You're not…I don't want you to move…it feels too good," she mewled, her lips brushing along his shoulder.

After several minutes Cas finally rolled off of her, lying on his back with his eyes closed. His mind was still reeling and lost in the lust haze surrounding his brain. He glanced over at Lily and grinned at the smug grin on her face.

"You ok?" He asked moving to lie on his side, propping his head up on his hand. She nodded but winced when she moved her legs a little. He swallowed hard and glanced down, feeling the color drain from his face. She cupped his cheek making him look at her instead.

"Hey…don't…that's normal…I'm fine just really sore," She said kissing him gently on the lips.

"But…there's so much…" She cut him off with another kiss and he sighed against her.

"I love you Castiel," She whispered and Cas felt his throat tighten.

"I love you too Lily," He sighed heavily and pressed their foreheads together, "Wanna take a bath?" She nodded and he helped her pull on a shirt while he pulled on some pj pants. He picked her up and carried her towards the master bathroom that was thankfully attached to the bedroom. Making sure the doors were all locked he started the bath. Crawling in behind her when it was all ready.

* * *

Lily woke slowly, her eyes fluttering open against the bright light streaming through their windows. She bit her lip as she stretched out her sore limbs…but it was a pleasant soreness. Memories of last night crashed into her brain and she tried to suppress the giggle. After the initial pain…it had felt so good, making everything else they had done pale in comparison. Finally feeling all that hardness deep inside of her…it made her body shudder and though she was still tender, she was getting wet just thinking about having him again.

She looked over her shoulder at him, he was sprawled out on his back snoring softy. She grinned and rolled over to face him, her hand tracing little spirals on his bare stomach. He had been so good to her…taking care of her when they had finished. She will never regret loosing her virginity to him…not matter what happens in the future…this will never be something she'd ever take back.

A moan came out of his mouth and she grinned, looking down to see how hard he was. She wanted him again so bad…it was almost annoying…licking her dry lips she pulled the blanket off of them and shivered at his slowly growing cock. She moved down and kept her eyes on his face when she traced the vein up to his head, dipping her tongue into his slit. He let out a sleepy moan, her name being muttered out. Her heart swelled and she slid his member into her mouth fully, sucking on it slowly. She couldn't help but get a little addicted to the way he tasted. The rumors always told her that it would taste nasty, she was thankful that she actually liked it. It was dirty but she loved kissing him after sucking him dry…especially if he had her taste on his tongue as well. She moaned around his throbbing shaft and he cried out above her. She rolled her eyes up too look at him, pulling off slowly as his eyes opened lazily.

"Shit…I thought that was a dream…" He groaned out rubbing his face.

"It started off as a dream…but I got too eager with this mere inches away from me," She grinned and sucked her way down until she could swallow his head down into her throat. Cas let out a loud cry as he exploded into her mouth and she swallowed eagerly, moaning lewdly around him.

"Jesus Lily…" He panted with a little laugh. She crawled back up to him and pecked his lips.

"Morning baby…let's get some breakfast," She went to get up but he pulled her back down against him.

"What about you?" He asked biting his lip, his hand trailing up her leg. She grinned and kissed him.

"Later…I'm still a little sore. Now come on…I'm hungry," She grabbed his hand and pulled him roughly off the bed.

* * *

Over the next few days they found ways to occupy their time between snow ball fights, walks, and the lake had froze over enough to allow them to go ice skating. Most of the time all of them found themselves sitting around the fire watching old movies.

Even though it was no secret what Lily and Cas had done…they were genuinely surprised that no one teased them…not even Balthazar. They got plenty of knowing looks from Skylar but everyone else just seemed to play oblivious to it. Lily didn't mind though…she was sure once they got back into the city they would start in on them.

Once they were in their own rooms for the night, Lily and Cas explored each other completely now that there were no barriers between them. Cas was finding himself getting more and more obsessed with how sensitive Lily got after her first orgasm and how much sweeter she tasted. He loved getting her to cum first with his fingers then licking her clean, only to get her randy all over again. She was just as bad with him, it wasn't enough that she got him off with her mouth…but would get him hard all over again to ride him relentlessly…something else he was really loving.

But even though it was amazing between them and he was constantly in a haze from it…something else as nagging at him. And it only seemed to grow when Skylar was near them. Something curled into his stomach when he saw him around Lily…but he realized it wasn't entirely a bad feeling…just extremely confusing.

It was Christmas Eve and they only had a couple more days here…and Cas didn't want to leave.

Everyone was outside having their daily snowball fight and Cas found himself chasing Skylar into the woods. He lost him for a moment but grunted when he got tackled down into the snow. Skylar hovered over him laughing, his hand reaching out to brush some snow off his face.

"Sorry buddy…got a little carried away," He snickered.

"It's alright," Cas laughed and felt his face flush as those gray blue eyes settled on him…glancing down to his lips. Cas licked his lips and watched as those eyes tracked his movements carefully. Skylar let out a groan and gasped when he pushed their lips together, the kiss heated and eager. Cas lost his mind for a split second and even started to return the kiss when he shot up, shoving Skylar away from him.

His friend covered his mouth and stared at him with fear-riddled eyes. Cas's chest was heaving, struggling to fight against the crushing anxiety. What the hell was wrong with him? This couldn't be happening!

"Cas…fuck…I am so sorry! I…god…I don't know what the hell came over me…please I am so sorry!" Skylar begged and Cas spared a glance at him. He wanted to scream and yell at his friend…why would he kiss him? He wasn't gay…but…fuck that kiss and he couldn't deny that he had always found Skylar gorgeous…but Lily! How could he fucking do this to her? Cas covered his face with his hands and let out a cry of frustration.

"Cas…I never meant for that to happen…I love Lily to death…I would never try to come in between you…"

"Shut up Skylar…please…" Cas groaned still hiding behind his hands. This was a fucking mess…how selfish could he be? They were at her cabin, she had given him herself completely…it was Christmas Eve and here he was…kissing their friend in the snow. He felt like a total jackass.

He lowered his hands and looked at the guilt stricken Skylar. Cas tried to hate him…but he just couldn't deny it anymore…it was suddenly very clear to him. All those feelings, the tightness in his chest whenever he was around…he just didn't know how he could even tell her. She would hate him…throw him away and never speak to him. But he couldn't keep this from her…He pulled himself out of the snow and when Skylar made to help him Cas flinched away from him.

"Castiel…I am so sorry…" He whispered and Cas nodded, holding his hand out to keep his distance. Without a word, Cas left the cover of the trees and he wanted to burst out crying. Lily was standing by the house laughing freely with Balthazar and Ruby while Charlie and Michael were making snow angels. He knew he should wait to tell her but there was no way he'd be able to hide it…she read him like an open book. He trudged over to them and with one glance her face fell from that happy smile to complete worry.

"Cas….what's wrong?" She asked and he couldn't handle it. He pulled away from her and ran into the house, throwing himself into a corner of their room. He heard the worried voices of his friends but he couldn't face them. He sank down and hugged his knees close to his chest.

"Let me talk to him," he heard Lily through the door and he panicked…he wasn't ready to loose all of this…to loose her. He tried to scramble up to his feet when she entered the room. She locked the door and hurried over to him, kneeling down.

"Baby what the hell happened?"

"Don't…don't call me that please," he whimpered as the tears began to fall. She jerked away as if she was burned.

"Did…did I do something wrong?" She asked and he shook his head vehemently. She tried to take his hand but he jerked away from her.

"Cas…you're really starting to scare me….talk to me please," She begged and he met her gaze. Her eyes were filling with tears but she held them back, his heart was going to explode.

"I'm so sorry Lily…" He gasped out and shuddered when a tear slipped down her cheek.

"Tell me what's wrong so I can help you…"

"I'm scared…"

"Cas…it's me…you have nothing to be scared of," She sniffled and tentatively put her hand on his, this time he let her. He didn't deserve her comforting him…it was killing him but he wanted to wrap himself in her arms and have her keep telling him it was all going to be ok.

"Yes I do…Lil…something happened…between me and Skylar," Cas whispered and watched her face. She just stared at him and blinked a few times. When she didn't say anything he swallowed hard , "He…kissed me and…I for a split second kissed him back," He said quickly. She blinked a few more times and fell back on her butt, her eyes staring at the floor.

"Lily…I am so sorry…"

"Are…are you gay?" She asked so suddenly Cas was taken aback.

"Cause…Cas….if you are…we're best friends….that will never change…I'll…I'll support you," She stammered out as the tears flowed freely down her face. He stared at her and couldn't even find the words. She didn't hate him…she wasn't throwing him away….before he could even think he launched himself at her, kissing her with so much eagerness, Lily could do nothing but kiss him back.

After a few moments of very heated kissing Lily finally pushed him away enough to look into his face, "Cas…you're confusing the fuck out of me!" She cried out and it was the closest he had ever seen her angry. He laughed shaking his head, kissing her forehead.

"Lily…I'm…I'm not gay…but…I think I am attracted to guys," he confessed and she just stared at him. He grunted when she pushed him off of her roughly.

"Cas! You scared the holy shit out of me! You…you can't fucking do that me!" She yelled her face going red. He stared up at her and couldn't help but grin.

"So…wait…you're ok with me being bi?" he asked and she glared at him.

"Cas…really? Of course I'm fine with you being bi…it's better than you being full on gay…cause then I would loose you," She whispered rubbing her forehead. Cas got up to his knees crawling over to her. He took her hands and kissed her forehead again.

"I'm sorry…I honestly thought you would hate me…especially since I kissed Skylar," He blushed and she gave him a devious smirk.

"Baby…what I'm about to tell you is going to make your little confession pale in comparison…I've known for a while that you were into Skylar," She laughed and Cas felt his face pale.

"Wait…what?! How could have known? I didn't know until just now!"

"Because I know you…and you weren't exactly subtle. And to tell you the truth…I found it…well…hot," She bit her lip and Cas stared at her with his mouth hanging open.

"So…is that why you blushed every time?" he narrowed his eyes at her and she laughed.

"Part of the reason anyway…what? The boy is crazy gorgeous and thinking of him with you…yeah it got me a little worked up," She snickered and Cas felt like he was going to pass out.

"So…you would be ok with me being with him? I'm so confused," Castiel groaned leaning back against the bed. Lily sat next to him and took his hand.

"I honestly don't know…this is all so new to me as well Cas…I mean we'll figure it out as we go along…but for right now…I really don't think I'd mind seeing you with Skylar," She said with conviction.

"Lily…as much as I think it would be fun to explore this whole thing…I really don't want an open relationship…. I'd feel like I was cheating on you," he said tracing his fingers along the inside of her palm.

"I don't think I want that either…I think for now, we should just see where it goes," She said and he nodded, leaning over to give her a small kiss. They stayed sitting together for a while before getting up to join the others. Cas looked around for Skylar and found him sulking over by the trees outside. He bit his lip and felt a little nudge on his back. He knew it was Lily and nodded, walking over to him.

"Hey…can we talk?" Cas asked softly. Skylar met his eyes and nodded, he got up and followed him into the trees.

"Cas…I feel horrible…." He started but Cas held out his hand to silence him.

"Don't…it made me realize something about myself and I got scared…especially when I thought Lily would break up with me…but we talked about it," Cas said leaning up against a tree. Skylar nodded crossing his arms over his chest.

"And?"

"Well…she's…actually ok with it, even the part where you kissed me…" he laughed and Skylar let out a long breath of relief.

"Oh thank god…I was freaking out…I really didn't want to come between you two and I honestly…didn't know where that came from," Skylar smiled and Cas bit his lip. He felt the overwhelming need to kiss him…he grabbed the back of Sky's neck and pulled him down, pressing their lips together. Skylar kissed him back for a moment before pulling away.

"Whoa…wait," Skylar laughed and Cas frowned up at him, "I really like you Cas…I do…but I can't do this…I'm 100% gay," Skylar said and Cas felt his face settle deeper into a frown.

"Look…I have a feeling I know where this going to end up…and as much as I can appreciate how beautiful Lily is…I'm not the guy for you two," Skylar smiled and realization sunk into his brain. He laughed and nodded.

"Yeah…ok…sorry," Cas bit his lip and Skylar reached out to give him a hug.

"No hard feelings….still friends right?" He asked.

"Of course…thanks for understanding," Cas replied and rubbed the back of his neck.

They made their way out of the woods and Cas's eyes searched for Lily, she glanced over at him and smiled. Cas walked over and took her hand, leaning down to kiss her.

"Everything ok?" she asked touching the side of his face.

"Mmhmm…Skylar said something interesting though…I'll tell you about it later," Cas said and wrapped his arms around her.

The next few hours they spent playing in the snow and hanging out in the family room. Soon it was night and everyone climbed into their beds.

Lily snuggled into Cas and he smiled, pulling her even closer.

"So…you gonna tell me?" she asked and he laughed.

"Well…we were talking and I kissed him….but he stopped me…saying that he wasn't the guy for us…and it made me think…" he said and she raised her head to look at him.

"Huh…wow…really?" She asked and he snickered.

"It makes a lot of sense…you got turned on thinking about him with me…and I never admitted it…but when I saw you two together earlier, the thought crossed my mind and it didn't piss me off like the thought of you and Balth did…" Cas said his fingers running up and down her back. Lily grinned and rested her chin on his chest.

"Well…that is different. Now that that's all figured out…we don't have to go psycho analyzing it…if we meet someone, we meet someone," Cas felt himself nod and settle deeper into the bed, Lily snuggling closer.

The next morning Cas woke up to the wonderful smell of pancakes and sausage. He grinned and opened his eyes, Lily was already sitting up stretching out her body. Biting his lip he yanked her back on the bed and she yelped.

"Merry Christmas baby," he said and kissed her, pressing their bodies together. She giggled dragging her hands through his hair, sucking his bottom lip between hers.

"Come on, lets go get some food and open presents," Cas grinned getting up but Lily pulled him back, pecking his lips.

"I want you to open yours now…" Lily got up and made her way to her bag, pulling out a wrapped box, placing it on his lap. Cas eyed her and bit his lip, slowly ripping the paper off.

"Lily…is…this what I think it is?" he stared at her with wide eyes. He lifted the lid and held his breath, inside was an old 35mm camera.

"It used to belong to my dad…he loved photography and he would have loved to meet you…"Lily said with tears in her eyes.

"I can't…Lily you should keep this…" He said softly but she shook her head.

"No…Cas…I want you to have it. Please?" She asked and he finally nodded, running his fingers over the camera.

"I love you Lily….so much," He said pulling her close and kissing her deeply.


	11. Ch 11 Summer Time

The only character that belongs to me is Lily, the rest I am just borrowing to play with.

Sorry it took a while and if this chapter is at all awkward…it was hard to write. One more chapter and then we get to meet Dean!

**FYI: ** If you are familiar with So You Think You Can Dance…all dancers that I name (not including Travis) are just incredibly talented students…they have not become famous yet. And the arts college is purely fictional.

* * *

The next semester passed by them in a blur. They spent their Christmas up at the cabin while their New Years was spent at a party Balthazar was throwing at his home. It was more of a gathering with how small the guest list was. Even Michael was invited and when midnight came around, Lily couldn't help but smile ear to ear when he and Rachel shared a passionate kiss.

School started back up without much preamble, the friends became inseparable but they accepted a few others along the way to their group. Skylar grew closer to them, especially with Balthazar. Chuck and Becky even decided to leave their group to join them as well. Cas had to laugh every time Lily got intrigued with one of his many stories. Even Coby from drama, the boy who played Angel, started to hang out with them more during lunch. Sometimes following to Cas's house for their usual Saturday night movie marathons.

As the semester wore on Lily and Cas's relationship grew stronger and were rapidly growing into the "favorite couple", even among the more popular groups.

Everything was good, even their grades were excellent. It was the week of Valentine's Day when Charlie and Lily were called into Jo's office. They were to perform their routines that weekend for Travis, setting the girls into a panic. Every day after school they practiced and of course their significant others were there to support them. On the days that they didn't meet up for Drama Club, Ruby and Castiel would sit in the back of the dance room, working on their homework together.

Valentines Day was a very stressful day for Castiel, he couldn't think of a thing to do for Lily. He begged with his brother for help but Michael was having his own problems figuring out something. Once again, he went to the girls and Ruby just smirked, pulling him to the side to let him know she already included them into her plans for Charlie. Working together, they took Charlie and Lily to a really romantic park to have a group picnic. They ended the night with separate walks, Cas pulled Lily under a huge willow tree to kiss her and give her, her gift.

"Baby…you didn't have to get me anything," Lily's smile was huge and Cas knew he did the right thing. He had come up with the idea a few weeks ago and talked Michael into helping him with it. He pulled out the square box from his pocket and placed it in her hands. She bit her lip opening it.

"Oh…my god…it's beautiful! Cas!" She cried out covering her mouth with her hand. Cas smiled to himself watching the look of awe cross her face. He reached out to grab up the silver chain, holding it up so she could see the charms hanging from it.

A small silver eighth note hung next to black dance shoes with a blue stone sitting in between. A small silver disk with their initials and the date they truly became best friends carved into it. Lily bit her lip and pulled the charms closer a huge smile etched on her face.

"This is amazing…I love it!" She pulled his face down to kiss him deeply, her arms tightening around his neck. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her against him. He'd been a little nervous giving her the necklace…thinking that maybe she would think it too corny. After pulling away she lifted up her long hair and turned so he could clasp it around her neck. He kissed her neck softly before letting her turn back around. She grinned up at him, leaning up to peck his lips.

"Um…I kinda got you something too…" she blushed pulling away from him gently. He grinned and waited as she pulled out a small box from her purse. He opened it quickly and resting inside was dark brown cuff bracelet that was braided in intricate Celtic knots. A silver plate was tied into the knots, an impression of the claddagh symbol carved into it. Cas swallowed hard his fingers pulling the bracelet out. He looked closer lifting the plate up a little noticing a small inscription carved on the bottom. Their initials and the same date he had put on hers. He let out a little laugh and he glanced up to see the nervous look on her face.

"Lil…this is awesome," Cas said softly with a huge smile. She let out a small breath and smiled up at him.

"You…don't have to wear it if you don't want too."

"I love it…I really do…what does it mean exactly?" He asked.

"The hands mean friendship, the crown is loyalty and the heart…love. When worn like this," She wrapped the cuff around the wrist of his left hand, with the heart pointing inwards, "it means you're taken." She smiled up at him and it warmed his heart.

"I love you," He said kissing her deeply, their arms wrapping tightly around each other.

To say Lily was in a good mood for her performance that weekend would be an understatement. Cas was excited to see the girls perform again but he and Ruby had to agree to sit in the back and be completely silent if they wanted to stay. It was difficult to keep quiet but they managed. Lily was the first to perform her solo, then Charlie and then the girls joined together for their duet. Cas sat there completely breathless as Travis made his way up to the stage, talking quietly to the girls and Jo, not really hearing what was being said.

When Travis and Jo left the auditorium Ruby and Cas ran to the stage. The two very happy girls tackled both of them. Travis wanted them to join him that summer for a week in California for a master class. As happy as he was for Lily, he felt a little hesitant…she'd be gone for a whole week. He pushed it to the side for the moment to focus on being overly ecstatic for the girls.

They had a little party that night in celebration, inviting everyone over. Balthazar came fashionably late, announcing to everyone that he was seeing someone, pulling Skylar into the room after him. Cas stared at them wide eyed and Lily started laughing…but not in a mean way just…extremely unexpected. Skylar suddenly became shy but after being tackled by nearly everyone, including Cas and Lily, the shyness quickly melted away. Cas expected them to feel a little jealous but the look of happiness on Skylar and Balth's face was more important.

The semester wore on and things were just…easy. He had amazing friends that stopped any bullying before it barely began and not to mention he had the best girlfriend. Cas was so happy everything that had happened in the past seemed like a very surreal dream and nothing else.

On the last day of school everyone; Cas, Lily, Ruby, Balth, Skylar, Charlie, Becky, Chuck and even Coby drove out to the clearing they had found all those months ago. Finals were over, the summer was beginning and soon, they would be in their senior year.

"We should go camping this summer…" Ruby suggested as she leaned back against Charlie. Cas smiled as Lily's fingers threaded through his hair, his head resting on her thigh.

"I think there is too many of us to fit in my cabin," Lily laughed counting on her hands how many couples there were.

"No, let's go for real camping, with tents and everything…come on it'll be fun!" Ruby pouted and the rest of them just laughed.

"Would it be ok if I bring my boyfriend? He goes to a different school," Coby asked from his spot on the grass.

"Of course you can! How cruel do you think we are?" Balthazar snickered. Skylar punched his arm playfully and laughed moving to lie on his stomach, hiding his face in his arms.

"Are we seriously going to do this?" Chuck asked. Becky looked up from her reading and bit her lip, anxiously waiting for everyone's answer.

"I want too…but it has to be after Char and I get back from California next week…god I can't believe it's already here!" Lily laughed and Cas stiffened. He was trying to prepare himself but he wasn't quite there yet. He would never hold her back from her dreams but in the 9 months they'd known each other (since they were counting from the moment they became best friends and not when they officially began dating) , they really hadn't been apart. Rarely ever sleeping in separate beds, hell that only happened when they needed to focus on studying and usually had all nighters working on homework. But even then, he knew she was just across the hall from him…how he was going to survive an entire week he had no idea.

"Hey…you ok?" She asked and he hadn't realized he had his eyes closed and was frowning. He looked up at her and sighed.

"I'm going to miss you…that's all," He said and she smiled, gently tugging on his hair a little.

"I know…I'm gonna miss you too…but we have another week before I have to leave so no moping ok?" Lily ordered tapping his nose He laughed and nodded his head, moving to press his face into her stomach breathing in the familiar scent of Jasmines that was always surrounding her.

"Ok…so we'll go a week after we get back, giving us some time to readjust to being home and all. Don't forget though you drama nerds…you have your own little camp while we're gone. I for one, can not wait to see what Pam comes up for the senior play," Charlie said. Cas grinned, he did almost forget. Maybe the week wouldn't be too bad if he constantly had his mind on something else.

"Are we still going to have our Saturday night movie marathons?" Becky asked as Cas rolled over so he could see his friends.

"Of course! Like I'd give those up for anything," Cas's grin turned into a giggle that turned into a roar of laughing when Lily started tickling him. Balthazar crawled over and started tickling him as well.

"Hey! Oh my god stop!" Cas shouted as he flailed helplessly while his other friends just snickered making no move to help him out. When they finally stopped, Balth grabbed his face and kissed his forehead.

"Oh Cassie, it's fun torturing you," he grinned before crawling back to Skylar who was shaking his head at them with a smile on his face. Lily moved to straddle his legs, bending down to lay her head on his chest. He bit his lip and wrapped his arms around her, letting out a deep sigh.

"Guys…I'm gonna be extremely cheesy here…. but…. thank you…for being my friends," Cas said timidly. Lily rested her chin on her heads that pressed against his chest, giving him a soft smile.

"Oh baby boy…you're welcome!" Ruby giggled. The rest of his friends just smiled over at him, agreeing whole-heartedly with her.

* * *

Lily shoved her clothes into her bag and started pacing, they were supposed to leave tomorrow and she was getting extremely nervous. Cas was out grocery shopping with Michael and Rachel was at work, so she had the whole house to herself and it was just too damn quiet. Usually it was crawling with their friends, especially now that school was out. Charlie and Ruby were going to spend the night but they wouldn't be at the house for another few hours.

She lifted up her Dobson HS sweater, sighing heavily. She loved the sweater but really couldn't wear it anymore…it always scared Cas and Michael when she did…it annoyed her but she completely understood. Michael had even gotten her an even softer sweater that was black and had the words "Dance" on the front in huge blue letters. She loved it and knew it's hidden meaning…new sweater, new beginnings. Biting her lip she fisted the DHS sweater and headed out to the side of the house where the trash can was. Hugging it close for a moment, she pitched it in, slamming the lid closed. She let out a deep breath as the huge weight on her heart lifted a bit.

"I thought you loved that sweater…" A cool voice said from behind her. Her entire body froze and she spun around, backing up against the house instantly.

"Brian…what the hell are you doing here!" She gasped out. His face scrunched up, shaking his head.

"I'm…I'm not here to…Lil…we need to talk ok?" Brian said softly. Lily stared hard at him, wondering if this was another one of his trust games. He'd done this before…telling her he wouldn't "cleanse" her and for a week things would be ok, only to be the receiving end of his rage.

"Come back later then…" She said hurrying towards the door. Brian reached out and snatched her arm.

"You mean when they're home? They'll never let me talk to you! Lily…it's not the same at the house without you there…even mom misses you," Brian explained but Lily shoved him away, quickly backing away from him.

"That's complete bull shit Brian…mother does not miss me…what do you want?" Lily ran her fingers through her hair, pulling hard on the tangles.

"Look…I just wanted to give this to you…some weird guy dropped it off a few weeks ago and I found it in mom's room…I didn't think it was right to keep it from you," Brian handed her an envelope and Lily hesitated for a minute before taking it, holding it against her stomach.

"Thanks…" She said softly, jumping at the sound of Michael's car pulling up. Brian's eyes grew wide and hurried off towards his own car.

"You ok little sister?" Michael called out and Lily turned to see twin looks of worry on his and Cas's face. She nodded and let out another heavy sigh, joining them to bring in the food.

"What did he want?" Michael asked. Lily sat up on the counter, looking down at the envelope. Cas moved to stand next to her, his hand gently resting on her leg.

"He…brought this to me…and I don't know what it is. I'm kinda…scared to open it," Lily replied. Smiling when Cas took it out of her hand, sliding his fingers under the flap to rip it open. Lily bit down on her lip watching his face as he read it, his eyes growing wide.

"Lil…it's…from your dad…" Cas said his wide eyes staring into hers. She felt her breathing hitch and Michael moved closer to them.

"Wh…what does it say?" She stammered her throat becoming almost to tight to breathe. Cas handed it to Michael, not sure if he'd be able to read it all without crying himself.

"My dearest Lily,

If you are reading this, then I am no longer with you. I had no way in knowing but for some reason…I can feel that it will be soon. Do not worry Lily…whatever happens, it happened for a reason. I have a will set in place…specifically for you. I love your mother but I am not stupid…she's a very jealous woman and will most likely keep even this simple letter from you. When you finally do read this…you must contact Rufus Turner, he was my lawyer. It was done in secret so your mother knows nothing of this.

Hopefully by now, you have received two of my gifts I have left for you…the cabin and the car. The rest is your inheritance…you will receive some now to help with anything you may need…the remaining will be held until you are 18…and I pray my beautiful daughter, that you will use it for whatever college you choose to go to.

I love you my dear one and I will wait for you in heaven,

Christopher Mosby

Lily's face was pressed in her hands as she cried, her entire body trembling from the force of her sobs. Cas had moved in front of her, holding her to his chest. He glanced over his shoulder to see Michael's own face a little wet from his tears.

"You gonna be ok?" Michael asked putting his hand on her shoulder. Lily nodded and smiled up at him, gently taking the letter from his hands. Seeing her dad's handwriting after all this time made her heart hurt but it felt so good that he was still looking out for her.

"Do you want me to try to get a hold of this guy while you're in California?" Michael asked pulling out a few sodas from the fridge. Lily took one and took a few sips before answering.

"If you wouldn't mind…I don't even know where to start looking for him… he's probably in Arizona…" Lily frowned.

"It's ok…we'll figure it out. Now go finish packing while I make dinner," Michael said giving her a gentle shove. She smiled and glanced over at Cas who was staring at the floor. Biting her lip she grabbed his hand in hers, pulling him up to her bedroom. He sat down on her bed, reaching over to grab the little stuffed cat from the carnival. She smiled watching him for a moment before taking it out of his hands. He looked up at her as she slid into his lap.

"You ok?" She had a growing suspicion it wasn't just because she was leaving tomorrow that was getting him upset. He sighed heavily and looked down while his fingers played with the charms on her bracelet.

"It just makes me so mad that someone like your dad is gone while people like my…father…are still around," He said through clenched teeth and Lily held her breath. She only had a slight inkling as to what really happened to him when he lived in Michigan…and after all this time he still refused to tell her. Though she never pushed for answers sometimes she wished she did…just to get him to talk.

"I know," It was the only thing she could really say…if she truly expressed how she really felt…things would be smashed around her room. It really wasn't fair…now she would never wish harm on anyone (though Cas's dad was an exception if her assumptions about him were right) but she would often find herself wishing she could trade her dad's soul for someone like Cas's father.

She cupped the side of his face and leaned in to give him a soft kiss. Cas sighed against her mouth, his arms tightening around her a little as he gently brushed the seam of her lips with his tongue. She smiled against him as she opened to let him in. His tongue rolled along hers slowly, swallowing the soft moan that escaped from her. Her fingers traced his jaw then his cheek bones, letting them disappear deep into his hair.

Their kisses went from being soft to needing to be as close to each other as they could get. She moved to straddle his legs, his arms pulling her flush against him. It wasn't so much as sexual…but just the pure need to feel each other, to know that the other was in fact real.

After what seemed like hours they finally pulled apart, lips red and swollen. Lily smiled lovingly at him as her thumb traced his bottom lip. He blushed and kissed the pad of her finger before burying his face in her neck.

"This is going to suck," he whined, his breath tickling her skin. She huffed out a laugh.

"It's only a week baby," She playfully scolded. He lifted his head pouting at her, his bottom lip jutting out just a little.

"I know…I'm just…not used to sleeping alone anymore. God I sound so fucking pathetic," He sighed rubbing his face. Lily just smiled at him. She pulled his hand away from his face and kissed him deeply, pushing him down on the bed.

"You Castiel Novak are not pathetic…I love you for the way you are…you even think about changing I'll dump your ass," She warned and he laughed. It was such a beautiful happy sound…his voice all deep and throaty. It sent tingles down her body. He bit his lip and she yelped when he smacked her ass a little.

"Cas!" She blushed and he just laughed again.

* * *

Cas laid there glaring hard at the clock as it got closer and closer to going off. He closed his eyes, snuggling deeper into Lily's back, hiding his face in her neck. She made a soft noise and pulled his arm tighter around her, pressing his hand against her chest. He smiled…he wasn't the only one who was getting insanely clingy. She'd finally dropped her tough act when they went to bed, her fingers clinging to him as he made love to her slowly. The sounds of their moans echoing off the walls with just a touch of desperation, reaching their climaxes together. They hugged each other close as they fought to catch their breath.

His eyes snapped open when it hit him hard in the chest…if he was having this much trouble coping with just a week…how was he going to survive college? They hadn't even talked about it, he had no clue what she even wanted to do…he let out an exasperated sigh.

"You woke up before the alarm this time," she laughed sleepily. He smiled and kissed her bare shoulder.

"I know…just had a lot on my mind," he said softly. She reached out and turned off the alarm before it went off then rolled over to press her face into his chest. Laughing he pulled her even closer, loving how warm and soft her naked body felt pressed to his.

"I should get up and shower before Charlie…" they heard a distant moan and the both of them snickered.

"Now I really have to fight her for a shower," She grinned pulling away but he just yanked her back.

"Caaaaas, I need to shower," She pouted but he only smiled at her as he kissed her, rolling to move his body against hers.. A soft moan fell from her lips as his morning erection brush against her hip. She sucked on his bottom lip, her legs falling open for him to press against her.

"Oh god baby," She whimpered when the tip of his cock nudged at her clit.

"Fuck…Lil," He moaned about to press into her but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"You and your glorious dick are not going to deprive me of a shower," She panted, her body shivering with the obvious want. He laughed and nipped at her jaw line.

"And you're not leaving me with this," He groaned rolling his hips, loving at how loud she moaned when his shaft rubbed up against her clit in a long drawn out motion. She bit down on her lip hard as he did it again but harder, her breathing turning into ragged gasps.

"Ungh…fine…oh god Castiel!" She cried out when he finally pushed into her in one thrust. He rolled his hips slowly, snickering breathlessly when she growled at him to go faster. When he didn't , she wrapped her legs around him, rolling them over so she was on top.

"Baby…wait, I know we don't have much time but…I don't want this to be some quick fuck," Cas complained. She rolled her eyes at him and smacked his chest with her palm. He pouted up at her and she just smiled, smoothing her hands down his chest and stomach, her hips starting to move. Cas's eyes rolled up as his back arched, feeling his cock slipping deeper into her.

"It's never just a quick fuck with us baby,"

Cas gasped out a moan when he felt her tongue flick at one of his nipples. He struggled to open his eyes, his hands rubbing up her legs to grip her hips. Her body suddenly stopped as the sound of running water echoed through the house.

"God dammit…" She groaned and Cas had enough grace to look guilty. Lily shook her head and leaned back to press her hands back on his legs. Cas raised his head to watch himself disappear inside of her, bucking his hips up hard when she would come back down.

"Oh fuck Cas," She whimpered her body moving faster against him. He couldn't take it anymore, he sat up wrapping his arms around her, rolling them back over so he could pin her down with his hands. His cock thrusting in and out of her roughly, the sound of slapping skin and heavy breathing filling the room. Cas couldn't help the small laugh, knowing full well that her crying out his name would echo through out the house.

"Shut up asshole," she whimpered pulling hard on his hair. He laughed even harder, nudging his face into the crook of her neck. She started giggling, trying to close the gap between her cheek and shoulder.

"Cas…oh my god stop that tickles!" her laughing turned back into loud moans as he continued his rough thrusts into her.

"Lil... I'm close," He moaned when he felt the tight build up low in his gut, his hips beginning to loose the rhyme. She nodded and rose up to meet him, calling out his name over and over again.

"Fuuuck!" He shouted as he pushed into her one last time, keeping himself deep inside of her when he spilled, her body shuddering as he yanked her orgasm out of her.

"Cas…oh god," She whimpered her fingers digging into his lower back to keep him from moving away. Cas grinned and kissed her, their tongues meeting lazily before the lips touched.

"Showers free horn dogs!" Charlie called out through the door. Lily laughed against his lips, he went to pull away but the whine that came out of her throat stopped him.

"I thought you wanted a shower?" He teased.

"I want you more," She pouted and he laughed, pecking her lips.

"Come on…I've deprived you long enough," he sighed slowly pulling out of her. He felt his dick twitch when she licked her lips lewdly, "Don't even…you don't have time," He warned. She rolled her eyes and bounced off the bed, she snatched up his shirt off the floor.

"You gonna come shower with me?" she said biting her lip. Cas rubbed his face really wanting to say yes but he knew that if he did they'd only be running even later. He threw his leg over the edge of the bed, placing his feet on the floor.

"I want too…god I want too…but I think Charlie will kill us," Cas laughed. Lily stood in front of him running her fingers through his hair.

"I know…I'll be quick," She smiled leaning down to kiss him. He cupped her face with his hands, holding her there for a moment before letting her go. She traced his bottom lip with her thumb, finally grabbing clothes heading for the bathroom. Cas sat there for a minute a small smile on his face. There was a knock on his door and he quickly scrambled to pull on his sweats.

"Come in!" He called out. Ruby poked her head in and smiled at him.

"We're gonna get McDonalds on the way to school…Jo just called, she's running late herself," she laughed. Cas nodded pulling on a shirt and his shoes. Biting his lip he pulled out his blue flannel that he usually wore on lazy days…it was Lily's favorite. He made his way into her room and quickly shoved it into her clothes bag.

* * *

Lily collapsed down on the bed in the hotel room just as Charlie face planted her own. The past five days had been grueling and both girls were exhausted. As much fun as this all was, they couldn't wait to get home. Tomorrow they would be filming the routines for Travis to use during his classes and on the next season. Lily was extremely proud to be apart of it…and ecstatic when Travis wanted to stay in touch with both girls.

Lily didn't realize how much she would love San Francisco but when they drove by the SF Performing Arts University…she knew that this was where she was meant to be. It had been the same college that both Travis and Jo went too and even Charlie was eye balling it. The only problem…talking their significant others into going to a college in California…preferably SF University. It was literally 20 minutes away from SFPAU and it was perfect.

Now if only should could convince Castiel into actually wanting to go to San Francisco…they really needed to talk but Lily hated bringing it up. She didn't know what she would do if Cas chose to go to a totally different school. Lily let out an annoyed sigh before rolling over onto her side to take a nap.

The next morning they worked their asses off getting all the routines recorded perfectly. Travis treated all the dancers to lunch and as much as Lily loved it there, she was ready to go home. She' would miss Travis and was beyond happy when he gave her and Charlie his personal cell number. He would keep them in mind for any future projects he may have.

When Jo offered up the idea of going home a day early, the girls agreed enthusiastically making Jo tease them like crazy. But, Lily had an inkling that their teacher wanted to rush home for her own reasons…something she was hiding from them. They arrived home pretty late, Lily shooting Michael a text when they would get back. She begged Michael to be quiet, she wanted to keep it a surprise.

"Bye guys…see you tomorrow probably Charlie," Lily snickered waving them goodbye. She pulled her bag closer and hurried up to the front door. Michael's car was gone and she couldn't help the grin on her face. Hurrying inside she ran up to her room to throw her bag over on her bed. It was near midnight and Lily knew Cas would be asleep already. She snuck over to his room and peeked inside. He was snuggled deep into his blanket, murmuring in his sleep. She bit her lip and stripped down until she was wearing nothing but the flannel shirt he had shoved into her bag. She crawled onto the bed slowly, waiting until he rolled over onto his back. It didn't take long, especially when she very lightly traced his spine with her finger. A shudder ran through is body and with a soft exhale through his mouth he moved to lie on his back.

Lily licked over her lips pulling the blanket off of him slowly, letting it fall to the floor. He was in his very thin pj pants, making it very easy to see his semi hard erection. Wetting her lips again with a flick of her tongue, her hands slowly moved up his legs, letting one of them just graze over his hardening cock. He let out a breathy moan and shifted a little but stayed on his back.

"Oh Cas," She whispered, moving her fingers to trace the band of his pants, pulling them down his hips little by little.

"Lily," He moaned out, his tongue licking at his lips lazily. She giggled and traced her tongue teasingly along his stomach, tracing the lines of his abs. His body jerked a little and she let out a soft moan, pulling his pants down a bit more to reveal his delicious hip bones that were begging to be licked and nibbled at. She sat back a little, letting her fingers trace the lovely V of his hips, tugging the pants over his completely hard cock. He moaned out again and she couldn't help herself, running the flat of her tongue along the underside of his dick.

"Oh…Lil…" He moaned in his sleep and her body shuddered, wanting so badly to just ride him but the want to tease him even more won out. Letting out a dirty moan, Lily wrapped her lips around the head, sucking hard at the pre cum that was now leaking out steadily. Pushing her head down, the head of his cock pushed against her throat and she moaned around him. The vibrations shooting straight through his dick.

"Fuck! Lil? Oh fuck…when…when did….oh my god!" Cas cried out when the tip of his dick actually slid into her throat and she swallowed around him. Slowly she pulled off of him with an evil grin, rising up to crawl over him on her knees.

"Hi baby," She grinned and blushed when Cas's body jerked, his hands reaching out to grab at her hips.

"Oh fuck…this isn't a dream. When did you get home?" He panted, yanking her to sit down on his lap. He let out a loud moan when the realization hit that she wasn't wearing anything under her shirt…his shirt. His dick twitched against her and she moaned out.

"About 10 minutes ago…wanted to surprise you," She let out a girlish squeal when he tackled her down onto the bed, covering her face with kisses.

"Fuck I missed you," He groaned before pressing his lips firmly to hers, his tongue instantly sliding along hers. She whimpered at the feel of him pressed against her, a throbbing heat slowly grinding against her clit.

"Oh baby…please," she bit her lip hard and Cas just smiled down at her before pushing into her in one hard thrust.

"Cas! Fuck I missed you…shit," She whimpered, her legs shaking as they wrapped tightly around his waist. He bit at her bottom lip as his hips found a fast almost rough rhythm. He angled his hips a little and grinned when she cried out, knowing he found that special place inside.

Her fingers pulled on his hair as his hips continued its frantic pace. He leaned down to catch her lips with his, sucking on her tongue greedily.

"Fuck baby I'm so close!" She cried out, her body starting to move against him, her hips rising to meet his. With a few more thrusts she came, crying out his name loudly, Cas following shortly after.

"God I'm so glad you're home," Cas laughed sleepily. Lily kissed his forehead and giggled, holding him close to her chest.

* * *

The summer went by way too fast, no matter what the group of friends did to slow it down. They went camping for a few days up in the mountains and it was fun. Hiking, fishing, and campfires…it was perfect. Until they got a torrential rain fall on the last day. Cas and Lily didn't mind one bit…and they had an inkling the other couples didn't either. They ended up having to stay a few more days but by the time they came back home, they were exhausted.

Even her meeting with the lawyer Rufus Turner went too quickly. He had such amazing stories to tell about her father during their college years. He handed her a check that nearly made her faint…and it was just part of it. It was enough to help Michael with some of the burden…though every attempt to give him some of the money was declined with a dirty look. Rufus promised to keep in touch and to help her when she turned 18…it gave her an awful feeling in her stomach knowing that her mother was still in control of that part of her inheritance.

Before they could even fathom the idea…the week before school would start was upon them. Cas held onto Lily's hand as they made their way around the school for Orientation. It was useless…they practically had the same exact teachers as last year but it was fun getting to see Garth, Pam, and Jo. Though…if Cas were a more observant guy…he'd notice the blush on Garth's face every time Jo brushed past him.

He had let go of Lily to talk to Garth about being his aid again this year. There was a shout from the hall and Cas realized that he hadn't seen Lily in the last 20 minutes. He glanced around the room and didn't see her; none of the teachers had heard the shout. Quickly he entered the hall and gasped, Lily was crouched down on her knees, her arms wrapped protectively around someone.

"Shhh…it's ok," He heard her whisper softly. As quietly as he could, he stepped over and his eyes widened. Tessa had her head pressed against her hands, her shoulders shaking as she cried. Lily looked up at him and both of them sighed heavily.

"Tessa…what happened?" she asked pushing some of Tessa's hair behind her ear. The girl looked up and laughed a little.

"I got what I deserved…I was such an asshole to you both…and instead of my 'friends' helping me…it's you two," she sighed resting her head back against the lockers. It was then that Cas saw the huge bruise on the side of her face.

"Did Adam do that to you?" He asked softly. She winced but nodded, her fingers clenching into fists.

"He…had gotten a little rough last semester…and when he finally realized that you were beyond his reach, he took it out on me…and no…I don't blame you Lily. I was just…fucking stupid enough to think that maybe he actually liked me," she groaned.

"Just because you liked the douche bag doesn't give him the right to hit you…we need to get a teacher," Lily said starting to get up but Tessa grabbed her wrist.

"You don't need too…this…all started a few weeks ago. Beginning with a slap and ending with a fist last night. I got fed up and kicked him in the nuts…thankfully my dad was home. Come to find out the bastard is a little bi polar…he's been…." Tessa let out a loud laugh that made them jump a little, "Well…he's been committed."

"Wait…you mean…Adam Milligan…is in the mental hospital?" Cas asked his mouth hanging open.

"Oh yeah…and now…every one of my friends has dumped me," she laughed bitterly. Cas shook his head and couldn't hold back the barking laugh. Lily looked at him and giggled, shaking her head.

"Tessa…I'm sorry this happened to you and I'm willing to forget all the bullshit…so you're welcome to join our group if you want too…at least so you won't have to eat alone," Lily offered and through his tears he was relieved to see a genuine smile on Tessa's face. She was actually a very pretty girl when she wasn't scowling.

"I'd like that…and Castiel…I'm gonna talk to Mrs. Braeden…I want you to join the yearbook committee this year…I saw some of your pictures during the art show. You're amazing," She said. Cas felt his face burn and bit his lip, nodding his head slowly.

"Come on…I think we got the gist of Orientation…let's induct the newest member of our nerd herd," Lily snickered getting to her feet and helping Tessa up. Cas sat there for a moment watching the amazing girl that was his girlfriend link her arm with the other…someone who had tried to make Lily's life hell. Cas grinned like a moron and hurried to chase after them.


	12. Ch 12 Senior Year

Warning: talk of past abuse both physical and sexual, triggering, violence.

AN: I know nothing about legal proceedings so forgive me if I am wrong lol. And this is more or less a filler chapter…so my apologies if it seems rushed or awkward in some parts.

* * *

Castiel stared into his mirror and barely recognized himself. His already pale skin glowing against the dark contrast of his black graduation gown. It was here…he had spent his first two years in high school praying for this day and now he didn't want it to come. He laughed at himself as his fingers smoothed down the silky material. His senior year went by way too fast, he had to stop sometimes and wonder if this was all a dream.

In the beginning they returned to their usual routine with their friends but as the semester progressed things began to change. And life for the "misfit gang" got even sweeter. Tessa kept her promise and helped him join yearbook club. It didn't take much…seeing as how Ms. Braedon finally resigned due to an unexpected pregnancy. Castiel had nearly screamed for joy when he saw art/drama teacher Pam sitting on the desk waiting for them to enter. His idea for wanting to change the norm of the yearbook was met with extreme enthusiasm and she made it clear that if anyone didn't like it…there was the door.

Castiel smirked remembering his layout he had presented and the overwhelming praise he received from everyone. The football team and cheerleaders took a back seat to everything else. He worked so hard getting actual flattering pictures of all the other clubs and personal stories. The final draft had been made and when he held the official book in his hands…he did everything he could but he really had no chance when the few tears slid down his cheeks.

He expected his friends to tease but once again, they stood by him smiling brightly. Lily wiped his tears away and kissed him softly.

It always made him smile wide thinking of his friends, the now famously known "nerd herd" was the group to hang out with. Especially after Tessa made it clear that she was their friend and had no qualms sitting with them every time…her and Lily even became closer. Charlie had gotten a little jealous but the red head started to like the improved version of Tessa.

Much to their shock Lily and Castiel even won the "Cutest Couple" award, pictures of their relationship was near the middle of the year book taking up two whole pages. Quotes from their friends and even some teachers surrounded each picture. Cas didn't even know it would be there…it was a surprise from Pam and Tessa.

Sitting in the auditorium when the awards were listed off was fun, especially when Skylar won "Hottest Eyes" award. He did his best smolder into the camera and Cas tried his hardest to not laugh. When the winner for the couple award was announced both of them were stunned. They knew they were nominated…but to actually win? Lily met him on stage and someone else took a picture of the blushing couple.

Lily had been the first to find the page of them at the yearbook signing party. Castiel was writing in Ruby's when she let out a loud shriek. She was a blur of motion when she threw her open book in his lap. The picture of them from a photo shoot he had set up with all their friends sat centered on the left. It took a moment for him to finally take in the whole two pages of their pictures. Even one of his favorites was there. The sun had been setting, casting a soft glow across their faces making the green and blue of their eyes almost ethereal. His chin rested on the top of her head while her cheek and the open palm of her hand pressed against his chest. Both were smiling softly into the camera.

It was the last picture taken that day and it was by far one of his favorites. Coming close to the one they took at the top of the Ferris wheel.

"They are like the freaking Cory and Topanga of our school, how can they not win the award!" Castiel laughed loudly at the quote made by Coby. He glanced up at his beaming friends and once again had to quickly rub at his eyes. Lily just sat in his lap and kissed his cheek, reading out some of the other quote making the whole table laugh. When he flipped the page Cas's grin was huge, there were pictures of other couples, and not just the popular ones. Charlie, Ruby, Balthazar and Skylar took up most of the room of course.

Balthazar landed the lead role of the senior play that spring, shocking the hell out of everyone that not only could he sing…but could dance as well. Both Charlie and Lily smacked his arms, complaining that he could have joined their class the whole time. Skylar smiled knowingly and shrugged when the girls questioned him.

Ruby, who joined the debate team, became a quick favorite. It didn't surprise anyone that she brought the other teams down to their knees. The girl could argue you to death without loosing the beautiful smile on her face. There was a picture of her holding the trophy with the sneakiest grin on her lips. Castiel always flushed with pride when he saw it.

Lily and Charlie were magnificent in their dance class; Travis even made a special trip to come to the recital to watch them. Nothing would ever beat the overwhelming feeling he got watching his girlfriend float effortlessly around the stage.

Even though things were almost too sickeningly sweet and good…drama did find their group several times. Ruby and Charlie fought and broke up during Christmas break…and dealing with that mess had given both Cas and Lily a migraine. Lily helped with Charlie while he with Ruby.

Finally Chuck had enough and shoved both girls in a room and left them there until they talked of their issues. No one really knew what the fight was even about. They still didn't…but when the girls came out with smiles, tears and flushed faces…things were ok. They still bickered but they talked about it now instead of just exploding at each other.

Coby and his boyfriend broke up and he tried to play it off as if nothing was wrong. But Balthazar had found Gordon pinning their friend against the wall of the bathroom, punching him hard in the stomach. The ever calm and teasing Balthazar flew at him, pushing him hard to the ground. Without a backwards glance Balth led their friend out and found the rest of their group. They didn't need to say anything, just followed the pair to the pond, ditching the rest of their classes to comfort their heartbroken friend. Gordon had found him crying in the bathroom stall and tried to beat the gay out of him.

Even with Adam locked away…his friends tried to continue on with the bullying…and Castiel had enough. He went to the principle and finally turned in Gordon and the others…it didn't amount to much but it made him happy when at least Gordon got suspended for a week.

It took several months but Coby finally got over his boyfriend, taking the stage as Balthazar's best friend in the play.

Cas and Lily finally had their college talk…he had no idea where he wanted to go but when she expressed her love for San Francisco and the college…he applied for the University right away. He helped her film her audition tape and knew she would make it…Travis and Jo were even writing letters of recommendation for the girls. Charlie was dragging Ruby to SF as well and Cas was glad. He couldn't bear to be separate from all of his friends. Balthazar was moving to New York to attend NYU with Skylar. Coby wanted to stay in Seattle along with Chuck, Becky and Tessa.

Everything was on track and good again.

Castiel continued to stare at himself in the mirror wondering just how the hell he got there in one piece. The door behind him opened and pair of bright green eyes glanced at him through the mirror.

"Still gawking at yourself I see?" Lily snickered leaning against the doorframe. Cas blushed and shrugged, pulling at his sleeves. She closed the door and wrapped her arms around his middle, kissing the back of his neck softly.

"It's real baby…all of it," She whispered and he had to close his eyes. Their shared fear of this whole thing being a dream ached in his heart.

"Come on…something came in the mail," his head jerked up and saw the glimmer of excitement in her eyes. He quickly tore off the gown and followed her into the kitchen where twin envelopes sat on the counter. One with the official SFU label the other with SFPAU. Cas's mouth went dry and took his with shaking hands.

"Aren't you gonna open yours?" Cas stammered looking over at his nervous girlfriend.

"You first," She whispered. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath before ripping it open. The first few words of the letter rang in his head and it took a moment for it sink in. His eyes flew up to look at her gnawing on her lip.

"Well?" She asked pulling on his sleeve a little. His face broke out into a huge grin.

"I got in!" He shouted, laughing when she launched herself at him.

"I knew you would!" She laughed with him kissing his cheek.

"Ok, Ok, now you…" Cas pushed her away gently. He picked up hers and handed it over. She held her breath and ripped it open like he had. He watched her face closely but didn't see the same excitement he had felt. Swallowing hard his heart lurched forward as he waited.

"Well…I got in but I didn't get the scholarship," She said softly forcing a smile. Castiel sighed and pulled her into a hug. The school only picked up to 10 students to get a full scholarship and he had prayed that she would be one of them. Her damn mother still wouldn't let her claws out of her inheritance and Rufus Turner was trying everything in his power. He still hadn't found a loophole around her lawyers.

"Don't worry Lil…we'll figure something out," Cas whispered against her ear. Lily sighed and pulled away giving him a bright smile.

"Hey…I got in, that's the important thing right?" She said hopping up on the barstool, her face disappearing behind her hands. Cas bit on his lip and sighed, he had no idea what he could even say to make things remotely better. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he grinned.

He read the text from Skylar first, asking how things were going and if they got their acceptance letters yet. He answered quickly and then sent out a mass text to their friends. It was only Friday but he figured the friends could have an early movie night.

"What are you doin?" Lily asked softly. He glanced up and saw tired eyes staring back at him. Cas just smiled at her, shoving his phone back in his pocket.

"Nothin, come on," he answered grabbing her hand.

* * *

Lily sat at her desk, an application for one of the busiest coffee/bagel shops staring at her from her laptop. There was no way she was going to make enough money before the first semester started. She should have known better…but she had really hoped that maybe she would get the scholarship as well. She hit the submit button and let out a long breath. They'd make it work…they had too.

Her head snapped up when there was a sudden pounding on the door. She made her way towards the front door just as Castiel wrenched it open, giving her a smile before revealing the faces of their friends.

"What the hell?" She laughed when they poured in, practically filling up the entire family room.

"Just thought we could hang out tonight rather than tomorrow," Castiel said against her ear. She looked up at him and smiled, kissing his chin.

"Thanks," She knew what he was doing without him having to really say it. She followed him back to their rooms and changed quickly into her pjs, pulling her long hair back into a loose braid. She exited the room in time to see Cas leave his as well. He looked so damn cute, hair everywhere, baggy pants riding low on his hips. The house was always kept cold so his hoodie wasn't too misplaced. He even had on his glasses that always made her giggle. She smiled up at him before jumping on his back.

"Hey! Jeez, warn me next time!" He laughed moving his arms to support her. She giggled in his ear, nuzzling her face into his neck.

"Ok spider monkeys get your asses in here!" Skylar called out making them both laugh. Cas walked into the family room and she rolled her eyes at the cavity inducing awwwws from everyone.

"We can't help it babe, you guys are too cute for words," Ruby laughed, wrapping her arms tightly around Charlie. The girls were on one of the couches already snuggled under one of the blankets.

"Yeah, Yeah…ok…seriously you all took the couches?!" Lily whined lowering down to the ground. The girls had one of the love seats; Balthazar and Skylar were on one end of the couch while Coby was on the other. Chuck and Becky were on the other love seat. Tessa was sitting on the floor in front of Coby with an annoyed but playful look on her face.

"Looks like we're floor mates this time," Tessa laughed. Cas shook his head and grabbed a few more blankets from the closet. After he laid them down Lily plopped down on them letting her backrest against the couch. She pulled Cas to lie back against her, his head falling back on her chest.

"Um…guys? Who's gonna put the movie in?" Chuck asked. Lily looked around and groaned loudly.

"Really guys? Really?" She was met with snickers from everyone.

* * *

Castiel couldn't help but press his head into the hand that carded through his hair. He was so comfortable he couldn't even think of moving. Somewhere between the second change of movies, he and Lily managed to snag the love seat from the girls.

"Vultures the lot of you!" Charlie pouted but took her spot on the floor with Ruby. Lily and Cas were on their sides, legs and arms tangled with each other as they watched Constantine.

About half way through the movie Michael came barging into the house grumbling to himself when he stopped to stare at everyone in the family room.

"Oh…gee thanks for letting me know guys," Michael rolled his eyes and disappeared into the kitchen.

"We love you Mike!" Coby called out and everyone chuckled. Cas wanted to go talk to his brother but couldn't pull himself off the couch. He was just that damn comfortable. Lily's lips pressed against his skin and he sighed, snuggling back against her. Yep, definitely not moving.

There was another knock on the door and Castiel assumed it was Rachel so he paid it no mind. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Michael hurry to the door with a smile on his face.

"I wonder how long it's going to take before he asks her to just move in," Lily giggled and Cas laughed shaking his head. The smile slowly disappeared from his face when he heard a raised voice. His friends looked around a little but shrugged it off and Cas tried but something nagged at the pit of his stomach.

"No! You are not welcome in my house!" Michael's voice rang clear over the movie. Castiel instantly sat up and hurried over to the hall. When he turned towards the front door all the blood drained from his face, nearly making him pass out.

His father…his fucking father stood in the doorway and Michael had his hand out to keep him from coming inside.

"Cas…go back in the living room…now!" Michael ordered but Cas couldn't move. The ice blue eyes of the man who made his life a living hell was staring hard at him, freezing him to the spot.

"Hello Castiel," He said calmly, a smirk slowly growing on his face. Cas stumbled back until his back hit the wall, sliding down until he crumpled to the floor. Visions of things his father did to him…and made him do slammed down on him, blocking out everything else. He didn't even feel hands on his face trying to tear his gaze away from his father.

"What's going…oh my god Cas!" her voice sounded so far away, muted. His brain tried to latch onto it, to pull away from the overwhelming feeling of pain and shame.

"Baby…look at me…Castiel!" the sharpness in her voice finally pulled him free and he sat up with a gasp, his eyes frantically meeting her tear filled ones. She pulled him into her arms, fingers threading through his hair.

"I don't know how the hell you found us and I don't give a fuck what you want…leave. If I see you…"

"What are you going to do Michael? He's a minor…I could easily say you kidnapped him…and they would drag his pathetic ass home…to me," His father's voice made him feel sick. He started shaking and her arms pulled around him tighter.

"I'll fucking kill you first…now go!" Michael shouted slamming the door shut. Cas was trying to keep his breathing under control but his anxiety was spilling over.

"Cassie…I am so sorry…I…thought it was Rachel," Michael said shakily. Cas lifted his head from hiding against Lily and looked at his older brother. He looked so guilty it stifled the anxiety just a slight. Gently he pulled away from her to hug his brother who pulled him tightly against his chest.

"It's ok Mike," He said softly. Michael looked into his face and sighed, his left hand cupping the side of his face.

"I will never let him hurt you again Cassie…I swear," he whispered and Cas nodded hugging him again.

After a few minutes he finally turned to look at Lily, worry etched on her face. He reached out and took her hand, squeezing her fingers trying to express how grateful he was that she was there. She gave him a small smile in return and stood up, gently pulling him to his feet.

"Do…you want me to have everyone leave?" She whispered. He looked into the room and smiled a little when they didn't even try to pretend nothing happened. They were all worried and wanted…needed to know that he was ok.

"No…I'm ok…really I promise. I just want to lie down and relax," he said and she nodded, leading him back to the couch. Michael squeezed his shoulder, turning to go to the kitchen.

"Cas…are…what the hell happened?" Balthazar asked once he sat down. He swallowed hard and rubbed his forehead.

"That…was….my father. Before I moved here, he used to abuse me and seeing him again…just brought it all back I guess," Cas explained. He could never tell them all of it…he hadn't even been able to tell Lily. His eyes had closed at some point so he didn't see his friends moving closer, when their hands touched him he jumped, getting a little laugh from them.

"If you ever need to talk…we're here Cas," Charlie said with a warm smile. He nodded and breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Come on…let's finish watching the movie…then…maybe we could just sleep over and go to breakfast tomorrow?" Balthazar offered. Cas smiled and nodded, moving to lie down with his back pressed against the cushions.

"Yeah…that sounds great…mind hitting play Ruby?" Lily said before sitting back. Cas watched her for a moment before reaching out to take her hand.

"I really am ok Lil, come here," He said tugging on her hand. She bit her lip and finally crawled to him, lying down on his chest and stomach.

"I love you," She whispered and Cas closed his eyes, hugging her close to him.

"Love you too."

* * *

It was around 1 in the morning when Lily opened her eyes to see everyone pretty much asleep. She was still snuggled with Cas on the couch and she really didn't want to wake him up. But the girls were still on the floor and it wasn't really fair to leave them there.

"Cas…baby, wake up," she whispered and his eyes fluttered open.

"Come on, let's go to bed," He nodded and got up with her, helping move the sleepy girls to the couch. She snickered watching them instantly wrap themselves around each other. She grabbed his hand and led him to his room, making sure it was locked behind her. When she turned back around, Cas was sitting on the edge of the bed his face in his hands.

"Cas…talk to me," She said kneeling down in front of him. It didn't surprise her that he would be tighter lipped then he ever had been but keeping it in was tearing him apart. Seeing that man made her feel so much rage…if Cas hadn't been collapsed on the floor…she didn't know what she would have done. God…if Castiel had answered the door…

"It's just overwhelming is all…I never expected to see him ever again…and hardly expected them to be so understanding," he explained with a forced smile. She nodded, understanding a little too well. Even she tried to tell some of her friends in Arizona but none of them wanted to listen…didn't care enough to even hear that their 'friend' was being abused. Reaching up she brushed some of his hair out of his eyes.

"I know…I wish there was something I could do to help," she sighed. He looked up at her and the corner of his mouth lifted in a little smile. Gently he pulled her into his lap and hid his face in her shoulder.

"You are trust me," he whispered. Her arms wrapped around his neck and snuggled against him. They stayed that way for a few moments until Cas lifted his head to press his lips to hers, pulling her body closer.

"Cas!" She giggled when he suddenly picked her up and then dropped her on the bed. He grinned down at her before climbing onto the bed between her open legs. She felt her heart hitch when his body pressed completely against hers. Having sex was one thing and she'd be lying through her teeth if she denied loving being that intimate…but there were moments like this when it felt even better. Being close with wandering hands, lips and tongue meeting slowly.

"It's getting hot," He groaned pulling off his sweater; she looked at him with a raised brow and laughed. Long fingers caressed down her sides, tugging at her shirt. She shook her head before helping him get it off.

"Better?" She snickered and he nodded with a grin. Her arms wrapped around his neck again and pulled him down to kiss him a little eagerly, their tongues fighting against each other. Lily was so lost in the moment she didn't even realize her hands and trailed down his arms and sides, moving under his pjs to grab at his ass.

It was like a switch flipped in Castiel's head, suddenly he yanked away from her, stumbling off of the bed. Lily gasped and scrambled to her feet, he had his back to her when she gently touched his shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" He screamed his hand flying out and smacking her hard across her cheek. Lily backed away from him until her back hit the wall, eyes filling with tears. He wasn't seeing her; his usual clear blue eyes were completely clouded over.

"Cas…I'm so sorry!" She said her throat thick with worry. He blinked at her a few times before his eyes finally cleared and he was seeing her again.

"Lily…did…oh god did I hit you?" He asked rushing over to her stopping when she flinched. Pain etched on his face and he took a step back. Lily took in a deep breath to control her rapidly beating heart.

"Cas…it's…it's ok. You just scared me is all…" She explained and reached out a shaky hand to him.

"I hit you Lily…I fucking…I can't believe I hit you! I would never do that!" he cried, tears falling down his cheeks. She took the few steps to close the space between them and cupped his face.

"Baby…I love you…I know you would never hurt me. I should have known better than to…I'm not mad at you ok?" She said quickly, her thumbs brushing away his tears. He took in a deep breath and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"I am so sorry Lily," His voice was shaky and Lily ran her fingers up his back soothingly. When his breathing finally calmed she pulled him to the bed. After they crawled in she moved him to rest his head against her chest. Lily stayed awake hours after he finally passed out, her fingers constantly making comforting circles on his back.

* * *

Castiel stared at his brother in disbelief for what felt like hours before Michael waved his hand in front of his face to snap him out of it. The last week had been nothing but stressful. He still hadn't completely forgiven himself for hitting Lily…when he snapped it wasn't her face he was seeing…but that bastard's. No matter how hard she tried to convince him, he still had a deep nagging in his gut that he might do it again and he couldn't live with that.

"Cassie…he's not going to get anywhere near you, I promise you that," He said and Cas felt himself nodding. His father for some sadistic reason wanted to come to his graduation ceremony that night. Under normal circumstances he'd make a huge scene about it but that would mean getting the school involved…he was not ready for that.

"Whatever…he's not going to ruin it for me. He…took 3 years from me…I won't give him the satisfaction of ruining the best year of my life. Let him come…he won't get the same reaction as before," He said through clenched teeth. Michael nodded grimly and turned to finish breakfast. Today was there last day of school and tonight their graduation. Afterwards they were going to a party being thrown at Tessa's house. Part of him wanted to go and experience a real party for once but another part just wanted to spend as much time with Lily alone as he could.

Until Turner could break through her mother's hold, she'd be stuck here in Seattle working at her new job as a shift manager. The coffee/bagel shop had been so desperate for workers; they hired her on the spot and even gave her a title. It was more money than she was expecting but nowhere near enough to get her through her first semester. Cas rubbed his eyes roughly, not wanting to think about how being apart for nearly 4 months was surely going to kill him.

Thankfully her school was understanding and would still let her join in the spring when she had the money. Michael offered to help but Lily was against it, claiming that he had helped her too much and couldn't take his money. Cas knew that Michael was putting some aside to help her out regardless.

Lily came into the room with a huff, throwing her purse on the counter next to Cas. He glanced over at her and smiled, her hair that was usually tied back in a braid was hanging loose past her shoulders. Gingerly he reached out to tug at the ends, getting a bright smile out of her.

"You ready for tonight?" She grinned popping a few grapes into her mouth. Cas nodded and looked over at Michael. His older brother gave him an encouraging smile before ruffling up his hair.

"Of course he is!" he laughed. Castiel rolled his eyes and snagged a few grapes for himself and grabbed for Lily's free hand.

The day went by smoothly, all the teachers were sad to see some of the seniors leaving. Especially Jo, Pam and Garth. They had to make several promises to come back and keep in touch. Seeing as how Jo and Garth weren't that much older than them, it would be easy to actually turn into friends outside of school.

Almost too soon Cas found himself in his bathroom again with his cap and gown on. Cas swallowed against the lump in his throat and emerged from the bathroom to see Lily leaning against the wall across from him. Her own black gown hanging loosely on her shoulders.

"Ready?" She asked biting her lip. He nodded and leaned down to give her a kiss, his arms quickly going around her waist when she melted into it. It was the first kiss they shared in a while…since that crappy night. Her fingers clung into the front of his gown as he pressed her against the wall, letting the kiss deepen slowly.

"Guys! You're gonna be late!" Michael called from near the front of the house. Cas chuckled at her whine when he pulled away.

"Do we have too? I mean we know we graduated…why can't we stay here…I'll let you fuck me with the gowns on," She whispered in his ear and he shuddered, his hand on the wall keeping his balance.

"Lil…where the hell did that come from?" He huffed out a laugh. Dirty talk wasn't exactly something they'd done before but hearing it out of her mouth…it was almost too much.

"Sorry…can't exactly help it," she grinned biting her lip. He leaned forward to flick his tongue out at her bottom lip, loving the groan she let out.

"Don't tease babe…we still have to sit through 2 hours of a boring ass ceremony," She warned making him chuckle.

"Ok, Ok…lets go…oh wait," Cas hurried back to his room and snagged his glasses, grinning to himself. He knew how much it turned her on when he wore them.

"Now I'm ready,"

"Oh you asshole…" She glared at him and he laughed pulling her towards the garage.

* * *

Castiel looked up as the cluster of caps were flung up into the air, his own somewhere in the middle of them. He couldn't help the childish laugh when they came crashing back down. He scrambled to find his own while others just grabbed whatever one they could reach. The students next to him shared similar grins of happiness as the Principal finally released them.

"We did it Castiel!" He heard Skylar before he saw him and suddenly he was being picked up and swung around. Once his feet hit the ground his friends and his vision stopped spinning he saw his other friends quickly advancing on them. He hugged each one tightly as they shouted their congrats. He looked around and finally found Lily standing off to the side, taking in the sight of her friends.

He ran over to her, tackling her to the grass. She went down with a laugh and smacked him playfully. Rising up on one arm he was able to look down at her, loving how happy she looked.

"Thank you for everything Lil," He said softly, her fingers pushing through his hair.

"I love you," She smiled pulling him down to kiss her. It was a brief chaste kiss and before he could deepen it Michael's voice interrupted them.

"Can I hug my brother now?" He asked with a grin. Lily rolled her eyes and gently pushed him off.

"Hey…he tackled me this time," she grinned before bounding over to their friends. He hugged his brother and then Rachel who stood next to him.

"I'm so proud of you baby brother," Michael said clapping his hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks…I'm really glad you two are here…It means a lot to me," he replied.

"Caaaaaaaaaaaaaas!" Coby yelled picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder.

"Well…I see your friends are kidnapping you now…be safe you two…and be home at a decent time tomorrow please? I'd like to have a family party with you two," Michael laughed and Cas gave him a thumb up while everyone said goodbye to his brother. Coby turned to leave when Cas got a glimpse of his father glaring at him.

"What the hell do you want?" he heard Lily practically snarl out. He poked Coby and he put him down carefully. When he was standing up right he got a good glimpse of his father…and was greatly relieved when he wasn't over come with fear like before. He swallowed hard and took a step forward but several hands grabbed at his arms to keep him back.

"Not that it's any of your business…I'd like to speak with my son," he replied turning his glare at Lily. Cas pressed his lips together in a tight line and turned to Lily, cupping the side of her face.

"I'll be ok…"

"Cas don't even think about it…"

"Baby girl…it'll be ok…I'm not afraid of him anymore…and you guys will be right here…" He said giving her a soft kiss. She frowned up at him before nodding, crossing her arms across her stomach. Cas swallowed down his nerves and took a few steps towards the older man, making sure to keep a good distance between them.

"Seems you have…a very interesting group of friends Castiel, especially that girl," he sneered and Cas felt a shiver run down his spine. It was the same tone he had used when…he violently shook his head and pushed it down.

"Yes…they are my best friends, my family…and that girl is my girlfriend…what do you want?" Castiel asked. His father looked past him at his friends before resting his eyes back on him.

"I wanted to see how you were of course…you are my son,"

"I stopped being your son the moment you laid hands on me…what the fuck do you want?!" Castiel raised his voice, visibly flinching when his father took a huge step towards him.

"Don't you use that language with me boy…or so help me…" his father threatened and it was Cas's turn to take a step forward, lowering his voice so only he could hear.

"Or you'll do what? Hit me again…Rape me again?" Cas said through clenched teeth. His father's eyes widened, taking a faltering step back.

"You can't hurt me…I'm not scared of you anymore. And even if you tried…those interesting people behind me…would kill you first. If my brother left anything behind after he was done with you. So honestly, I don't give a damn why you're here…I don't have the time to dwell on this bullshit. I'm leaving for college soon and have a wonderful girlfriend who loves and accepts me completely. Goodbye father…I hope to never see you again…" Castiel said with a smile. He turned to leave but his father grabbed his arm to pull him back. The next moment happened in such a blur he was unsure it was even real. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his friends moving forward but stopped when Castiel's fist flew out and punched him hard in the jaw, knocking him onto his ass.

"Shit! Ow!" Cas cried and rubbed his knuckles with his other hand.

"Oh my god Cas!" Lily exclaimed with a laugh. His father glared up at them but Castiel couldn't care, his friends were carrying him away in a daze.

"We'll meet you there guys!" he heard Lily call out and he blinked, realizing that he was leaning up against The Beast. Lily turned to cup his face in her hands and smiled brightly at him.

"I am so proud of you…I know that took a lot out of you but god Cas…you actually stood up to him!" She laughed and he couldn't help but join her, his head swimming a bit. It all felt too unreal.

"I can't believe I actually did that…" he shook his head and peeled off his gown, tossing it through the back window. Lily grinned and pulled hers off as well. Cas sucked in a breath when he looked at what she was wearing. She gazed up at him with a sneaky grin and took a step back, turning slowly for him.

"You like?" she asked biting her lip innocently. Wrapped tightly around her hips was a pleated green, blue and black plaid skirt. Even though it hung low under her belly button to show off her toned stomach, the edge of the skirt hit about two inches above her knee. Her top was sleeveless and laced up the front, giving her breasts a lip gnawing induced lift. The swell of her breasts rising every time she drew in a breath. Cas felt his heart thud and his dick throb at just that sight alone.

The knee high black socks she wore made that mere 2 inches flash of skin mouthwatering and all he wanted to do was nibble on that tan flesh. He kept himself plastered to the car though, not wanting to embarrass himself in front of several of the kids still in the parking lot.

"God…you…look fucking amazing…and yes I like," He smirked. She bit her lip, tracing her hands up his chest to press her body completely against his.

"Why don't we go to our spot before the party?" She whispered against his ear, her hot breath making him shudder. He nodded and grinned when she pressed the keys into his hand. He tugged her into the car and started it up, tearing out of the parking lot towards the clearing. He'd go to the pond but with so many students still around he didn't want to risk it. Lily scooted over and squeezed his thigh, moving her hand higher with every turn he made. When her fingers grazed his aching cock he swerved a bit. She giggled and sucked on his ear.

"Shit Lil…" he laughed finally arriving at the clearing. Lily reached out to turn on the radio before climbing into the back seat.

"Get your ass back here already," She snickered. He rolled his eyes and kicked off his shoes and socks before joining her.

"Mmm, Hi," She giggled pulling him close, her legs draping over his. He grinned and nipped at her lips.

"Hi…can you believe we're high school graduates now?" He asked as her fingers pulled on his hair a little.

"Oh yeah I can believe it…now shut up and kiss me," she demanded. He was only too happy to oblige, leaning down to press his lips eagerly against hers.


	13. CH 13 Well Hello There

Well hello there Mr. Bowed Legs…

And probably the shortest chapter I have written for this story…lmao

* * *

Castiel swallowed thickly as he looked up at the huge cathedral like building. His eyes closed as his heart beat began to race, the sudden anxiety making him sweat. Cool hands cupped his face and he instantly felt calmer.

"Hey, hey…it's ok," She whispered and he finally opened his eyes. He glanced down at her and forced a small smile. He could do this. Michael grabbed the bags from the back of his car, throwing his younger brother a comforting smile.

"Sorry…just nervous," Cas laughed. Lily shook her head before reaching into the car to grab the box in the back seat. Cas took it from her and reached for her hand. They headed to the dorm building in silence, wandering around the halls until they found his room.

"Well…here we go," Michael said forcing a smile. Cas nodded his head and bit down hard on his lip. Lily squeezed his hand and he reached out to open the door. It was pretty big both halves of the room identical with each other. The other side was empty; his roommate hadn't showed up yet. Cas dropped the box down on his bed followed by the bags that Michael had. Lily sat down on the bed and looked around.

"At least it's not cramped…and you have an awesome view," Michael said glancing out his window. Cas nodded opening the box. Smiling he reached in to pull out the pictures they had framed a few weeks ago.

"Ok, stop moping you two…it's going to suck but Cas is only two states away," Lily demanded shaking herself out of her own pouting. The brothers looked at her and laughed softly.

"Ok, Ok…come here baby brother," Michael pulled Cas to him and hugged him tightly.

"I'm gonna miss you…I'll be out at the car," his older brother smiled at the two of them. Lily nodded and watched him leave the room. Cas sat next to her and sighed heavily. They'd been planning for this all summer, doing everything they could while they had the time. It wasn't a death sentence and he knew he truly wasn't that far away but he had grown so dependent on Lily…it felt like freshman year in high school all over again. Thankfully he did have Ruby to keep him sane while he had to wait for Lily to move out with them.

They stayed silent for a while, just letting it all sink in. Lily turned to face him, bending one knee up on the bed. She grabbed for his hand and threaded their fingers together.

"You're gonna be ok Cas…" she said softly and he couldn't help the sharp laugh. There was a yank on his hand and he turned to look at her annoyed expression.

"You will…you don't need me to hold your hand through this baby," Lily smiled at him and he sighed again, rubbing his forehead with his free hand.

"What if I do though? The things that happened senior year…would have never happened if you weren't there…. I would have never had the strength to stand up to my dad…"

"Castiel…you did those things. Not me…I may have pushed and even bullied you into doing some of it but in the end, you were the one who did it. You were the one who sang in front of a hundred people, the one who took those beautiful pictures for our yearbook, the one who stood up to my brother and then your dad…. that was all you baby. And I'll keep reminding you everyday if that's what it takes," She laughed reaching up to run her fingers through his hair.

"Yeah but if you hadn't…"

"Stop…you can do this Castiel…I have all the faith in the world. And besides…it's not like this is going to be the last we see each other silly. That's why we got the new phones with that face time thing," She laughed again and he smiled nodding. All the friends, some to their parents' great annoyance, upgraded their phones with their graduation money. Balthazar had been the first to use it, he had been a wreck last week when he left with Skylar to New York…Cas really hoped their relationship would last but he had a gut wrenching feeling they'd see him back in Seattle too soon.

"And…I know…what you're going to say but you have to remember our pact with each other," She said softly and he closed his eyes. That…had been one of the most awkward conversations in his life. Well…close third to his sex talks with the girls and his brother. It wasn't like he had forgotten what happened at the cabin with Skylar…and to be honest he wasn't exactly trying to run from the memory either. So when Lily brought up the idea of him meeting someone in San Francisco, it wasn't too much of a surprise but it still made him a little sick inside. He still did not want an open relationship and he would never cheat on her…but it was out there.

If he met someone he liked and didn't see red picturing him with Lily as well…then they would go from there. The pact he promised was that he wouldn't close his mind to it. If it happened, it happened…they weren't going to try and actually search for someone. But he couldn't run from it either…she knew him way too well. Her part was that she would be open minded about who ever he chose and had to be completely honest with him if she felt even the slightest of unease.

He had tried to make so where she could pick as well but that would never work. The guys that were attracted to her were straight and the only threesome they'd be interested in would be her and another girl…and she wasn't bisexual. She had no qualms against it and even got very touchy feely with their friends, even shared some kisses with them but that's where it stopped. And her seeing him with another girl…yeah, she'd flip her shit.

So it was ultimately his choice and he was ok with that…since he was the most nervous about the whole thing.

"I know," He laughed softly leaning over to kiss her forehead. She smiled up at him, jumping a little when her phone beeped. The smile on her face disappeared into a small frown.

"I gotta get going…or Mike's gonna have to drive in the dark…walk me out?" She asked. He didn't even bother with an answer, just grabbed her hand holding onto her fingers for dear life. They made their way slowly through the dorm; his face flushing at the several awww's thrown at them. Lily just rolled her eyes, wrapping her arm around his waist instead. Michael was leaning against the car talking on his phone, probably to Rachel (who he finally asked to move in over the summer), while waiting for Lily.

"Call me as soon as you get home ok?" Cas swallowed down the rising panic clawing it's way up his throat. Lily cupped his face and pressed their foreheads together, humming their song softly to him. Cas felt his breath hitch and it was difficult to breathe. He remembered the first time he had heard it…it fit them and it wasn't a true "couple" song but…it was perfect.

"We will run and scream, You will dance with me, they'll fulfill our dreams and we'll be free, And we will be who we are, And they'll heal our scars, Sadness will be far away," He sang softly. She kissed him with trembling lips and he held her close to him, savoring the taste of her tongue on his. Finally he was able to pull away, his thumbs gently brushing away the tears on her face.

"I love you Cas," She said, her voice breaking slightly.

"I love you too baby girl…I'll talk to you soon," He said giving her one more kiss before she pushed away and headed over to the car. Michael was watching them now, his own eyes shining a bit. He gave his brother a wave before he too crawled in, pulling the car away from the curb.

Castiel had no idea what to do now…his whole life was driving away and he felt so fucking alone now. He rubbed his eyes hard and swallowed down the anxiety and the sudden loneliness aching in his chest. He could do this…he had to prove it to her and himself that he could stand on his own two feet.

He shot another glance in the direction they disappeared in and mentally shook himself, hurrying off towards his dorm room.

* * *

Several hours later and he was finally feeling better. He spent the time unpacking and receiving calls from everyone. Balthazar and Skylar showed him their apartment and was relieved that the boys seemed even closer than before they left. Chuck texted to let him know that he and Becky finally broke up, which honestly, didn't surprise him at all. Becky was…strange and too high strung for the easily panicked writer. They were still friends and Becky was already scooping out her next conquest. Castiel just shook his head and laughed before texting the girl to see how she was doing.

"I'm doing just fine Castiel…I even got a job! I loved Chuck…. but…. I need my space to grow into the woman I meant to be," She said into the phone and Cas pressed his lips together to keep from snickering. She was strange yes but she was one of his dearest friends. Ruby called to let him know they were getting dinner later and that made him smile. While Charlie was at the Performing Arts College, Ruby was here at the University with him. That fact alone calmed him down greatly.

He was sitting on his bed reading one of the books Lily packed for him waiting for the clock to change to 7 when someone crashed through his door. Castiel jumped up and stared at the Asian boy stumbling over to the other bed face planting it.

"Kevin…oh there you are! Oh…hello…you must be my son's room mate," A woman said with a huge smile on her face. Cas cleared his throat and nodded, still staring at them with wide eyes.

"Ugh…ok mom…thank you for helping me…I'll see you later," Kevin grumbled gently pushing the woman out of the room. He grabbed his bags tossing them inside before shoving the door shut.

"Uh…sorry about that…my mom…Hi…I'm Kevin Tran," he huffed out a laugh holding his hand out.

"Castiel Novak," he replied shaking the boys hand. Kevin looked him up and down and nodded. Turning to kick his bags towards his bed he crashed back down, his arms flying over his face.

"So fucking glad to finally be away from her smothering," he heard Kevin mumble and Cas shook his head with a small laugh.

"Well Castle, I'm gonna get some food, ciao!" Kevin exclaimed jumping to his feet and leaving the room as quickly as he had entered. Cas stared at the door and sighed as he snatched up his phone.

Message to Ruby Rue, The Roche!, Char Bar, Baby Girl, Skylar, Beckster, Shurley Temple, Dreads, Tessa and Michael

Just met the roommate…he's kinda weird and called me Castle…that better not be what he calls me from now on ugh!

Cas stared down at his phone as it began to explode from responses.

Message from Baby Girl:

Oh god…Castle really? Just throw something at him if he does! Almost home, call you soon babe.

Message from The Roche!:

_LMAO….ooooh man. Why didn't we think of that one?_

Message from Char Bar:

_Hmmm…. describe him to us later and we'll think of something worse haha!_

Message from Ruby Rue:

Ew….lol

He didn't receive a message from the others until later but the ones he did get made him laugh. When the time finally arrived he pulled on his jacket and hurried out of the room making his way towards the school grounds. He was supposed to meet the girls at some diner across the street. His phone chimed again so naturally he wasn't looking where he was going.

"Yo! Watch out man!" He heard someone yell and didn't have time to look up when someone slammed into his front. His phone and glasses flew from him as he slammed into the grass on his back. Everything was a bit blurry and why couldn't he breathe? The mass of weight on top of him moved, rising up on their arms and he sucked in a breath.

"Fuck man you ok?" the guys voice was deep and there was a slight bit of amusement in it. He blinked a few times and waited for his vision to clear. The person on top of him moved again and felt the glasses being pressed to his face.

"Hey…seriously…you ok?" The guy chuckled and Cas felt his breath hitch when he was able to see who was still on top of him. Whoever he was…he was fucking gorgeous. Short sandy blonde hair and god his eyes…they were a mossy green with flicks of amber. His smile was even beautiful, the corners of his eyes crinkling a bit with the grin he was giving him. He even had fucking freckles…Cas would blame it later on the lack of oxygen but he couldn't help himself when his fingers brushed over them gently. The guy's eyes widened, cheeks turning a bit red. He let out a shy laugh and Castiel snapped out of it.

"Yeah…yeah I'm ok…sorry I wasn't…paying attention," he replied nervously. The guy bit his lip and smiled down at him. He got to his feet, extending his hand out to help him up. He stared up at him for a moment before grabbing his hand, letting himself get hauled up.

"Good…next time keep your eyes up don't wanna knock your head off accidentally blue eyes," The guy grinned and Cas swallowed hard as he ran off towards the other guys yelling out rude comments.

"Who the fuck was that?" He asked himself biting his lip as he watched the bowed legged man.

* * *

Not With Haste: Mumford and Sons

Thank you for all the faves and follows!


	14. Author's Note

Author's Note!

Ok so after taking a break from this story and re reading 'Meeting Dean' over and over again...I really did not like it. It also wouldn't have fit with the plot later on. So, I re wrote it.

Let me know what you think and if somehow you actually like the first one better, let me know.

Much love and happy reading,

Sandy


	15. Ch 14 Meeting Dean

Dean Winchester didn't remember much of his childhood…but that one night stood out like a beacon of light. The smells, the cries, the sirens…it rang so loudly in his mind at times he'd wake up screaming from nightmares. It happened almost over 17 years ago but it still haunted him.

He had only been 4, his baby brother only 1. There was a crash from upstairs that jolted him awake from his warm bed. When he pulled open his door the hallway was filled with smoke. He didn't understand what was going…thought maybe his mother was burning something again. But why would she be cooking in the middle of the night?

A sharp cry erupted through the house and his thoughts were consumed with where his brother was and whether or not he was safe. He bolted upstairs and nearly fell back at the sudden heat on his face. The walls were glowing with fire and Dean coughed roughly when he gasped, his knees buckling at the sudden loss of oxygen.

"Dean! Get your brother outside! Go!" His father's face suddenly filled his vision and his arms grew heavy with the bundle being shoved into them. He almost dropped it but then his brother let out a cry his fingers clinging onto the blanket for dear life. His father gave him one last look before they ran in different directions.

He crashed through the front door and didn't stop running until he tripped, rolling quickly to fall on his side instead of his wailing baby brother. His head snapped up when the windows of the top floor exploded, sending shards of glass everywhere. Dean covered his face and Sam's just in case.

The scream of sirens came closer, he hardly noticed. His eyes were glued to the house waiting for his parents to finally emerge. The cries of his brother echoed in his ears and he held him closer to his chest, trying to calm him.

"Where are your parents little one?" someone was asking him. He barely heard them, his eyes never leaving the house that was now completely engulfed in flames. His parents were still inside he wanted to scream but nothing came out.

"Little boy…what is your name?" the voice asked him again. He finally turned his head to look at the man in a police uniform. He had a kind smile but Dean still didn't answer him.

"Dean! Oh thank god you're ok!" Another voice called out…but this one he knew. His eyes filled with hot tears when the face of his Aunt Ellen filled his vision.

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you too…"

"I ain't going anywhere, this is my god son," she argued, her arms wrapping around him. He hadn't realized just how cold he was until he felt her warmth surrounding him.

"Sammy…he's cold too," He whispered. Another set of arms came down and scooped him up. He was about to protest when he saw the familiar plaid shirt and baseball cap. Uncle Bobby…his brother was safe…his mind finally started to break down now that he wasn't consumed with the need to keep his brother safe.

"Mommy and Daddy are in there!" He cried as fat tears poured down his cheeks. Ellen pulled him in closer and her fingers carded through his hair.

"I know baby…I know," she whispered softly.

His parents never made it out of the house.

After the funeral the boys moved into Bobby and Ellen's house…it was small but they managed. Dean, Sam and their youngest son Ash all shared a room while their daughter, Jo (from Ellen's first marriage), had her own room.

Dean had all but stopped talking after the fire. He would constantly stare blankly at the wall and subconsciously draw houses on fire while people were still inside. The preschool teachers of course freaked out, not knowing what to do with him. They recommended therapy but Ellen and Bobby denied it. Dean was a strong willed kid…he would pull out of this himself. They had a time frame in their minds and if he still hadn't uttered a word by then…then they would take him to a therapist.

After about 4 months Ellen opened the door to a social worker with a very stern face. Claiming that since they hadn't lifted a finger to help the boy cope, they were going to take him and Sammy away to a better home.

"No! I don't want to leave, you can't make me!" Dean screamed at the top of his lungs, tears already streaming down his cheeks. Ellen smiled proudly at him and all but kicked the lady out of their house. It wasn't the last they heard from CPS but Ellen raised enough hell, pulling the community in to help her that the agency finally relented.

Dean still hardly talked to anyone outside their little make shift family but he was getting better. Taking care of his little brother helped a lot. Ellen always let him feed him, help bathe him and even got to read to him. The nightmares still tormented him but he was healing.

Over the years, they managed to expand on the house, adding a couple of rooms and a new bathroom. They weren't the greatest or huge but Dean finally had his own room.

Dean was loving, extremely attentive and always looked out for not only Sam, but also his adopted siblings Jo and Ash. Whatever they needed, he was there. Once he hit high school, Ellen and Bobby were worried that things would change and that Dean would become an ass like other older teens did towards younger siblings.

He wasn't most kids…Dean was all about family. It didn't matter if he was in the middle of telling the biggest joke or flirting with one of the cutest girls…if any of them (especially Sammy), came up to him he would completely ignore whoever was in front of him and pay attention. The girls loved it and the guys tried to make fun of him but when they saw all the attention he got, they soon started to idolize him.

Which was how his entire 'image' was created…amazing older brother and charmer of the ladies. But Dean was so much more than that…yeah he rocked the older brother part and loved that, that was the forefront of his so called popularity. He was also way into sports and music. He was the most popular jock slash nerd in the entire school.

His favorites were swimming and playing lacrosse and taking one look at him one would never be able to guess he was also part of the marching band drumline. He excelled at anything physical, music and art while his baby brother mastered all the practical arts; math, history, and science…so naturally they balanced each other out.

Things were going so well…all he thought he needed to complete it was a girl he could tell his secrets too. He was a charmer but in all honesty, he was a romantic, he just wanted the right girl to shower his affections on.

The first one he looked twice at was Lisa…beautiful, friendly, and smart and had an incredible body. She was a cheerleader and part of their gymnastics team. They dated his entire sophomore year and into the start of his junior year. They lost their virginities to each other over the summer and Dean completely fell for her. He was so infatuated with her he truly believed she was the one…that he would marry her some day.

A few weeks into their senior year, she came to him crying; she was pregnant and he did this to her. He tried to deny it at first, he had worn a condom but he would do anything to help her. After he took her to the doctor and it was official that she was indeed pregnant, he started to plan out a way to take care of her and his unborn child. While she was panicking and blaming him for the whole thing, inside he was excited. He loved kids and new he would be an amazing father. He couldn't wait to meet his kid…but as it would turn out…he wasn't the father.

The real father came around about 3 months later and Dean caught them kissing outside of her house. He confronted them and she finally told him the truth. His heart completely broke and he cried on Ellen's shoulder for the longest time. She tried to comfort him but it was no use. When he woke up the next morning, his entire mentality changed. He never wanted to feel that way again, that 'chick flick' moments were for pansies. Though he never changed his ways about his siblings…when it came to dating, he never wanted anything serious again. It really bothered Ellen and Bobby but they knew it was best to leave him to it…that when he was finally ready, he would make the choice.

His senior year was his best…not only was he dating around, top of his teams, getting good grades…a new guy came to their school. Benny Lafitte was from New Orleans and loved to raise a little hell. He and Dean clicked right away and soon they became best friends. And it was through him that Dean realized he wasn't just into girls…that if it were the right guy, he'd get a little hot around the collar as well. He shared his first kiss with Benny after winning a game of Lacrosse (which Benny had joined), and popped his "guy" cherry with him during Christmas break. They weren't a couple but liked to fool around here and there.

Even though the nightmares and memories of that night were the clearest thing in his mind…the memory of his baby brother opening an extremely early acceptance letter to Stanford overpowered them. Sammy was 16, a junior and Dean was 19…a year already out of high school. He and Benny were still best friends and working in Bobby's shop when Sam let out an ear piercing scream.

"What the hell Sammy…what is it?" Dean asked with a knowing smile. He had seen the envelope earlier that day. He wanted so badly to open it but Sam would have killed him. So instead he just placed it on the counter knowing it would be the first thing he saw when he got home.

"I…got in! Dean…I got into Stanford!" Sam yelled his eyes shining bright with excitement. Dean hugged his brother tightly, grabbing the sides of his face when he pulled away.

"I am so proud of you baby brother…so fucking proud," Dean said and Sam blushed, hugging onto his brother again.

"Damn kid…full ride to boot? Shoulda copied off ya more often," Benny teased. Dean punched his arm but had a huge smile on his face.

"Dean…you're gonna come too right?" Sam asked biting down on his lip. Dean opened his mouth to say something but shut it back up. He never had a plan to go to college…just figured he'd stick around Lawrence working in Bobby's shop. He had no idea what to tell his brother…thankfully the house exploded with noise as the Singers poured into the kitchen. Each of them congratulating his brother loudly.

After saying goodbye to Benny he was called into the kitchen by his 'parents'. Ellen grabbed his hands and smiled softly at him.

"Dean…we knew…that you didn't want to go to college but we figured, Sam would try and drag you along with him. He may be a giant…but he still needs his big brother, especially in a big place like that," Ellen said. Dean laughed and ran his free hand through his hair.

"And I'd love to be there for him but, I know how strapped we are for money…maybe if I actually start to save instead of spending it all on repairing Baby…I could eventually join him," Dean said biting his lip. Bobby snorted and shook his head, throwing an envelope towards him.

"Well…ya gonna open it you idjit?" Bobby asked. Dean laughed and ripped it open, his face flushing a bit at the bundles of cash inside.

"What…what is this?" Dean stared at them with wide eyes. Bobby gave him a brief smile before rubbing his face.

"It's the college fund your parents started for you and your brother. When…they passed, we took it over and have been adding to it since. It's not much…but it should cover at least one year at a smaller college. You'll still have to work to cover other things you may need but this will at least get you started," Bobby explained. Dean felt the lump in his throat rise and tears filled his eyes. There was never going to be enough words or things he could do to show them how grateful he was for them.

So he did the best he could, hugged them both and followed his brother out to California. He enrolled into San Francisco University and quickly tried out for both the swimming and Lacrosse teams. They gladly accepted him and once he proved just how good he was, they offered him a small scholarship. He found a job nearby at a local record shop and got to see his brother every weekend.

He was 21, a sophomore in college, the star of his two teams and still a charmer of ladies…and sometimes even the occasional guy. He had a great set of friends and his baby brother was happy.

Things were great. And with a brief run in with the bluest eyes he had ever seen…things were just about to get better.


	16. Ch 15 Remind Me

Fluffyness over load….

Warnings: bullying, verbal bashing.

* * *

Castiel rubbed his forehead with his fingers trying to ease the growing headache. He'd been sitting in the extremely quiet library for three hours straight. The words in his history textbook were becoming a blur and he must have read the same paragraph for the past 20 minutes. He sighed heavily before packing up his things. It was a Friday so he had no classes the rest of they day and while the whole campus partied, he would be locking himself in his room to have his usual skype date with Lily.

It had been a month since they last saw each other. It was hard but they were getting through it. The skype dates and face time calls did help but he was starting to get a little worried about her. He tried talking to her about it but like always she just brushed it off, asking him about school to change the subject.

He didn't really get upset about it though…because once again he was keeping something from her as well.

It all started about 2 weeks ago, he had been hurrying towards his psych 101 class when a foot jutted out and he tripped. His books scattered everywhere, wincing in pain as his knee throbbed in pain.

"Need to watch where you're goin fag," someone laughed from behind him. Glancing over his shoulder he frowned at the group of guys laughing and pointing at him. With a roll of his eyes he quickly gathered up his books and scampered off. He pushed it from his mind, figuring it was a one-time thing. This wasn't high school…god he was naïve.

Every afternoon he had to pass them to his Psych class and every time one of them would bully him. He only got tripped once more before he learned to just walk over the guy's foot. Then they started pushing him, or slapping the books out of his hands. He tried standing up for himself but it never helped. By the start of the next week his patience was wearing thin and he actually shoved one of them out of his way.

"Oooh the little queer is actually trying to fight back," their ringleader mocked. His arms were held back by two of is friends and the main one slammed his fist into his stomach. He fell to his knees gasping for air while the others walked away laughing cruelly.

"Oh shit…are you alright?" someone asked kneeling down next to him. He recognized that voice from somewhere but he just shook his head struggling to get to his feet. A hand reached out to take his arm but Castiel slapped it away.

"I'm fine! Why can't everyone just leave me the fuck alone," he snapped. He grabbed up his books and finally looked at the person still trying to help him. When his eyes met the impossibly dark green ones he had to swallow hard. The guy opened his mouth to say something but Cas just scrambled to his feet practically running off towards his dorm room. He skipped classes that day, not wanting to run into his bullies or Mr. Bowed Legs…his conversation with Lily that night was a bit strained and as much as he tried to hide it, she knew him way to well. He was grateful that she didn't bring it up, but he could see it in her face that she wanted to.

Cas checked his watch and sighed heavily, he had about an hour before his skype date. There was just enough time to pick something up to eat. He left the library but stopped just a few feet out of the door. The bowed legged green-eyed man was on the lawn playing soccer with a few people, some of them being his bullies.

He was friends with them?! Cas's mouth dropped open while his face burned…it would figure that the first guy he seemed to crush on was an asshole. He shook his head and kept his face pointed down as he walked quickly past them.

"Oh hey, look it's the little queer!" One of them called out.

"Dude, shut the fuck up, don't call him that," that familiar voice called out angrily. Cas looked up to see the green eyed guy glaring at one of his main bullies.

"Oh come on Dean! The guy is just asking to get his ass kicked," he shot back. Castiel's face fell into a deep frown, his fingers gripping tightly into his bag. _Asking _for it? What the fuck did that even mean?!

"And what the fuck did he ever do to you huh? Seriously, leave him the fuck alone all right? We gonna play or what?" Dean asked, his eyes flicking over to Castiel.

"Nah…I think I'm gonna have a talk with my new punching bag," The guy sneered taking long strides towards him. Cas felt the rise of anxiety overwhelm him, making him stagger back. He lost his footing and fell hard on the concrete, his ass and palms throbbing in pain.

"Alistair, leave him the fuck alone!" he heard Dean shout but his voice was far away. His vision was darkening with every shallow breath he managed to rake into his lungs. Alistair grinned down at him but before he could even say anything Cas saw something round slam into the side of his head.

"What the fuck Winchester?" He growled. Dean came into his line of vision and shoved Alistair back.

"I told you to back off asshole…now go!" Dean growled. Alistair gave him a sinister smile before holding his hands up backing away.

"You can't baby sit him forever Dean," he laughed before striding off. Castiel took in a deep breath but was too deep into his anxiety; he couldn't beat it down like he normally would. His hands were shaking too hard to even attempt to call Lily or one of his friends. Dean knelt down and gripped his hand tightly, anchoring him just a bit.

"Shit…ok breathe slowly man," Dean said softly pressing Cas's open palm on his chest, "Follow my breathing."

Cas closed his eyes and swallowed hard following the rise and fall of Dean's chest. After a few minutes he was calm enough to actually look at the man in front of him. He was just as beautiful as the first time he saw him.

"You're…you're friends with him?" Cas managed to choke out. Dean frowned and shook his head, their hands still pressed to his chest.

"Nah…he's one of my team mates so I have to put up with him. How long has this been going on?" Dean asked.

"About two weeks…not like it matters much…it's fucking high school all over again," Cas groaned moving to stand up but lost his balance again. Dean quickly reached out to help him and this time Cas let him. Dean looked at him with a pained expression, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"I wish there was something I could do…" Dean said softly. Cas stared at him before laughing a little.

"Thanks…but…there really isn't," he said with a sad smile. Dean bit his lip before shaking his head a little.

"Well…I can at least give you a ride to …wherever you're going at least," Dean grinned.

"I was just going to walk over to that diner across the way but…um…sure. It'll save me some time," Cas replied following Dean over to where his stuff was. Dean picked up his backpack and led the way towards the little parking area. There was a beautiful sleek black monster of a car sitting in the parking lot and Cas stopped to appreciate it when Dean opened the trunk.

"This…this is your car?" Cas squeaked his mouth dropping open. Dean looked over at him and chuckled.

"Yep…my pride and joy. Finally got her fixed up enough to bring all the way out here from Kansas. You know cars?" Dean asked tossing his stuff inside the trunk. Cas blushed when he pulled off his sweaty shirt, changing into a tight fitting gray one. He pulled on a leather jacket and Cas had to swallow against the sudden dryness in his throat.

"Uh…not really but…I can definitely appreciate the hell out of them," Cas laughed running his hand through his unruly hair. Dean bit his lip watching him but just grinned climbing into the car. Cas slid into the passenger seat and had to stifle the groan of nostalgia…god how he missed driving around with Lily in The Beast.

Dean pulled out of the parking lot only to drive maybe 5 minutes to pull into the little diner across from campus. Castiel was about to just thank him and get out when Dean turned the engine off.

"They've got amazing pie," he answered Cas's silent question. He rolled his eyes and hurried inside with the green-eyed man. They ordered and Cas tried to get his to go but Dean talked him into staying. He bit his lip glancing at the clock on the wall and finally agreed.

"So…um, I'm Dean by the way," he laughed stabbing at his plate of pies. The guy seriously had an obsession with them…one of each flavor. Cas chuckled dipping a few fries into the ranch bowl.

"Castiel," he said shoving them into his mouth. Dean watched him for a moment before a slight blush lit up his cheeks.

"You got some ranch on your face…" Cas laughed and wiped at it quickly with his fingers, "Castiel…that's different…think I'll call ya Cas instead," Dean grinned at him. Cas coughed a little on his soda and shook his head with a huge smile on his face.

"That's what my girlfriend calls me…I swear to the two of you could be twins," Cas giggled looking up to catch the complete shocked look on Dean's face.

"You have a girlfriend?" Dean asked. Cas nodded and started laughing a little.

"Is it really that shocking?" he asked and Dean shook his head, finally getting rid of that glazed over expression on his face.

"Sorry, I just…wow my gay dar is way off," Dean grumbled shoving a huge piece into his mouth. Cas stared at him for a moment and grinned.

"Well…not completely off but yeah…I have a girlfriend…her name is Lily," he said going through his phone to find a current picture of them. It was during their summer camping trip, which was quickly becoming a tradition now among the friends. They were sitting together by the fire underneath a huge blanket.

"Damn…she's gorgeous…and what do you mean not completely off? You bi or something?" Dean grinned handing back his phone. Cas felt his face burn but he managed a small nod before shoving a few fries into his mouth.

"Wow…how did she take it when you told her?" Dean teased. Cas met his eyes and smirked.

"She's the one who figured me out…and for your information she's perfectly ok with it…she…never mind," Cas waved his hand trying to change the subject but he saw Dean's brow raise.

"She what? Oh come on man tell me!" Dean laughed. Cas sighed and bit his lip hard.

"We kind of…have this thing where…if I actually meet someone and she likes him too then…ya know…" Castiel could feel his entire face turning a bruising shade of red as he watched the knowledge of what he was explaining fill Dean's eyes. He blinked a few times and took a swig from his soda before trying to speak.

"So…like a threesome?" Dean finally said. Cas nodded bending over his burger to quickly eat it. God he must think they were weird or something….

"Huh…you either have a freak for a girlfriend or the best damn woman on the planet," Dean grinned at him. Cas gasped a little that turned into a cough as his food sucked down the wrong pipe. Dean quickly hurried to his side slapping at his back.

"I'm…I'm ok thanks," Cas coughed growing a little nervous when Dean didn't automatically move to sit back across from him. He took a drink from his soda when his phone started to ring.

"Shit…I'm late," Cas groaned picking up his phone quickly.

"Lil…I'm so sorry!" he said instantly.

"Cas? Are you ok?" she asked and it made him smile. Of course she wouldn't care that he was nearly 10 minutes late. He looked over at Dean and bit his lip.

"Yeah I'm ok…some assholes were harassing me and a really nice guy helped me out and we were just getting dinner," Cas explained catching the small smile on Dean's face.

"Oooooh…is he cute?" Lily giggled.

"I don't know…you wanna be the judge?" Cas asked grinning at the now blushing Dean.

"Yes! Bring him over and call me on Skype…love you!" She laughed.

"Love you too baby, talk to you soon," He hung up shoving the phone into his wallet.

"Well…would you like to come over and meet my girlfriend?" Cas asked with a grin.

* * *

Dean had no idea what made him say yes so quickly but he did. Castiel was different from the typical prissy guys he met around the city. He was incredibly good looking and when he blushed…damn. Those blue eyes got so bright they seemed to pop right out. Not to mention that freaking sexed out hair of his. Dean pegged him to be gay right away and he really did try to keep the complete shock out of his face when he mentioned the girlfriend.

He had never been so disappointed…but really why did he care? After one night he'd never see this guy again…he didn't do relationships anymore. But then the kid had to mention that he was bi…and his girlfriend seemed to like that. His head spun around a few times and he was starting to think he was actually dreaming all of this.

Cas unlocked his door and held it open for Dean to saunter in, looking around at the room. He knew instantly which side was Cas's…and not just because of all of the pictures on his dresser. One side was a complete mess while the other was clean and organized. There was a monster of a laptop sitting on his desk that gave it away as well. Cas threw his bag on his bed and plopped down on his chair.

"Why is everyone calling me now?" he heard Cas grumble when his phone went off again. Dean grinned turning his attention to the pictures. They weren't of just him and his girl…but of several others.

"Balth….seriously? Why would he even do that? Skylar wouldn't…he wouldn't cheat on you!" Cas practically yelled into the phone. Dean jumped a little turning to see Cas covering his face with one hand. Dean shook his head and continued to look around the room. This was one of the many reasons why he never did relationships…the drama. The second there was drama Dean would take off and never look back. Unless it was family, it wasn't worth his time.

"Don't come home…not until you talk to him dammit…no, do not call Lily….no we haven't yet…call Char or even Ruby…love ya too bye. Sorry about that…one of my friends keeps thinking his boyfriend is cheating on him," Cas blushed and turned towards his computer again. Dean winced at the word…he shook his head of the awful memories trying to resurface.

"Don't worry about it," Dean said forcing a small smile before plopping down on the bed. Cas looked over at him with a frown but didn't ask. Dean was grateful for that.

"Hey baby!" A girl's voice called out through his computer and Dean leaned over a little to look at the screen. Lily was even prettier than in the pictures. She was bundled in a sweater and her hair was in a loose brain draped over her shoulder.

"Hi…sorry this is so late," Cas said with a small smile.

"It's ok…I was just getting worried…so who's the mystery guy I see peeking into the camera?" She laughed and Dean nearly fell off the bed. Cas laughed and scooted over a little.

"Hi…I'm Dean Winchester," he said with a wave. Lily looked at him appraisingly and a smile slowly grew on her face.

"He is kinda cute," She grinned.

"Kinda? Just kinda? Come on!" Dean complained and Cas covered his face as he laughed.

"Well what do you expect all I can see is your face darling," Lily smirked. Dean shook his head at the challenge. He stood up and pulled off his shirt.

"Whoa," he heard the two say together.

"Better?" Dean spun around for them and caught the heated look in Cas's eyes.

"Much…ok stud muffin put your damn shirt on or you're going to give my boyfriend a heart attack," She giggled. Dean laughed pulling on his shirt. Cas swallowed hard, quickly looking away to fumble with something on his desk.

They chatted for hours and it was easy for Dean to forget that it was Friday and usually he'd be at a party chasing after a girl or two. He was having way too much fun getting to know the very strange couple. They were so comfortable with each other; their relationship was so effortless it was something Dean never expected.

"So how long have you two been dating?" Dean asked lounging back on the bed. Cas had moved the computer to aim at the bed. He was sitting Indian style while working on some homework. Lily bit her lip in thought, her fingers pulled at her necklace to look at something.

"It'll be two years next month," Lily smiled brightly. Cas looked up at her and gave her back the same smile. Dean felt a pang of something deep in his chest…it wasn't so much as jealousy but almost a little anger. Why couldn't he have just a smidge of what they did? Why did Lisa have to kill that in him?

"Dean…you ok?" she asked and Dean's head snapped up. Both of them were looking at him with worry. Cas bit his lip, watching him closely.

"Yeah I'm fine…just a bad break up a long time ago…" Dean grumbled. Cas reached out to touch the back of his hand with his fingers.

"You can talk to us Dean…we won't judge you," Cas said softly and he could see Lily nodding out of the corner of his eye. Dean was extremely surprised with himself with

how comfortable he was with them, that he actually began to tell them about Lisa. None of his friends really knew about it. Except for Benny of course but he was family now. The fingers that were resting on his hand soon twined with his and it felt so good he managed to not let the dick version of himself recoil from it.

When he was done he didn't want to see the look of pity in their eyes, just kept his head pointed down. There was a squeeze on his hand and he finally looked up into Cas's face.

"I'm so sorry Dean…that girl was horrible for doing that to you…but you can't let her ruin you," Cas said softly.

"Listen to him Dean…someone who hurts you like that doesn't fucking deserve even the slightest bit of breath. I know I've only known you for a few hours but you're a nice guy…. hell you're here talking to us instead of chasing tail on a Friday night and you stuck up for Cas against your team mates…and I'll have you know as cheesy as 'chick flick'moments are…they are the best," Lily said with a serious tone. Dean couldn't help but smile, nodding his head.

"I guess…I just forgot how awesome they could be," Dean laughed shrugging his shoulders.

"Yeah well Cas is an amazing cuddler…I'm sure he could remind you," Lily grinned winking at them.

"Lil!" Cas whined looking away as the blush crept back up. Dean snickered squeezing their fingers a little.

"So…I have to ask…is this for real? This whole three some thing?" Dean asked looking mostly at Lily. She threw back her head and laughed.

"Oh wow he actually told you? Damn Cas…oh man," She giggled wiping the tears from laughing off on her sleeve.

"Yes…it's very real," She finally answered.

"How did that even come up?" Dean asked glancing over at Cas who was still very red in the face.

"Uh well, we kinda had a mutual sub conscious crush on one of our guy friends Skylar. So when he kissed Cas, he wasn't really expecting it and completely freaked out. Long story short, we talked, had a ton of realizations and came to this conclusion," Lily shrugged and Dean had to take turns staring at the both of them.

"Neither of you pushed for it?" Dean asked.

"Not really it was one of those, if it happens it happens kind of things," Cas shrugged. There was a loud crash and Dean nearly fell off the bed when the dorm room door slammed open.

"Oh hey man…didn't know you swung that way Castle!" Kevin slurred falling down on his bed. Cas rolled his eyes and returned his attention back to his homework.

"I'm guessing the room mate is home?" Lily groaned when Dean nodded, "I should probably get going anyway. I have to work bright and early tomorrow."

"Really? Did they give you the vacation days you requested?" Cas asked biting on his lip. Dean's heart sped up a little…he was actually pretty damn eager to meet this girl in the flesh. The both of them made him seriously feel things he hadn't in such a long time. Lily made a face and sighed heavily.

"I'm trying Cas…but they're assholes," Lily frowned and Dean caught the extreme sadness bleeding through her eyes before she looked down. Cas swallowed hard, he'd caught it too.

"I know…I just really miss you," Cas said quietly. She looked back up and nodded, forcing a smile on her face.

"I do too…I'll make it work Cas, I promise. Now, get some rest both of you and Dean…it was really nice meeting you and I hope this isn't the last I see of you," she smiled softly and Dean nodded.

"It wont, I'll make Cas give me both of your numbers," Dean grinned. Cas looked at him with a warm smile and Dean had to slow his breathing down a bit.

"Good…Night Dean…Night Cas, love you baby," she said kissing her fingers then placed them on the screen.

"Love you too baby girl, talk to you tomorrow," Cas repeated the gesture and Dean waved just before the screen turned black.

"So…that was Lily," Cas chuckled closing the laptop. Dean nodded and watched as Cas cleaned up around them. He settled back on the bed and Dean found his hand again, loving the little in take of breath from him when he weaved their fingers together.

"Wanna help me remember why chick flicks are awesome?" Dean asked with a warm smile.


End file.
