Inuyasha 1. Less than Human

Less than Human

The day had finally come, one he thought never to come to pass, though a dark part of him had dreamed of such an occurrence, a fantasy that was wrong on too many levels, yet no matter how much he wished otherwise, his desire was there—always. He knew his feelings were perverse, unnatural. He didn't need anyone telling him what he already knew to be true. What might be considered worse than his unrequited love was the animal he knew himself to be, a creature of the night, someone—no, _something_—to be loathed and feared.

Despite once being one of them—human—the last five hundred years he walked the earth as something else, not a man but an abominable beast—a vampire of legend. But he was no fairytale. Vampires were real; _he_ was very much real. Though his heart had ceased to beat for five, long centuries and his lungs no longer needed to pump life giving air to live, only to speak, he was not completely dead. His brain continued to function, his senses were alive and active; he walked and talked like any human being, but he was no longer just a man.

Blood continued to flow through his veins instead of drying up despite his heart's lack of movement. Emotions continued to plague him like any other living being. And he hungered, thirst, but not for food or water. No, the only thing that continued to give him life was the rich taste of his prey—humans. Though he'd tried, experimented once so long ago by preying on animals and drinking their blood, his stomach could not keep it down. Like meat and vegetables, his stomach would heave and force him to expel anything that was not the blood of humans.

Flying through the air as a bat, though he didn't actually need to morph into an animal to move across the sky, he journeyed to the one who held his heart, and the young woman didn't even realize her sway over him. And hopefully, she never would. May God save her soul if she ever did—if He even existed. Most nights, he had his doubts.

His flight took him longer than if he'd remained in human form, but he wanted to make sure his presence went undetected by human eyes. His mission was far too important to renew the old tales of the existence of his kind. His very presence put the woman—more child than not—in harm's way, and he would do his utmost to protect her while in his company for as long as she chose to stay.

Finally, he arrived.

As he went earth bound, transforming back into his real form, he noticed a black limo driving through the orphanage's gates, and walked swiftly towards the parking lot it slowly advanced to. Before he even stopped and bent over the driver's door, the window rolling down for the man within to talk to him, he knew who drove the long, expensive vehicle. His butler Michael. He could have ridden within the vehicle and allowed his man to drive him here or pick one of his many other vehicles and driven himself, but he needed the wind in his face, the peace that flying brought him to cool his anticipation and give him a clear mind when he picked up the recently turned eighteen-year-old girl. And she was a girl, barely legal, barely a woman, and far too young for someone of his age. But his age, his vampire state, were not the only reasons he should keep clear of her, and yet he could not stay away.

His good intentions were swallowed up by his selfishness. As if he needed another reason to loathe himself.

"Wait here, Michael. We'll be along shortly," he told his right hand man softly, his voice deep and rough from lack of use.

He hardly ever spoke, and trusted no one save Michael. The human male knew exactly what he was but strangely enough, he did not shed away from his presence or overly fear him. Michael was middle-aged, a forty-five year old man with a wife and two children of his own, and almost twenty years ago, he'd saved the humans when muggers would have raped Michael's wife before murdering them both. Ever since then, despite coming to learn what he was, the newly married couple chose to repay him for his kindness, and wanted to look out for him during the daylight hours.

A first for him in all his long years of living since his rebirth. These two were the only humans who knew of his existence left alive, the only two who had never shunned him for what he was. And their companionship and assistance through the last few decades were precious to him. When their human life came to an end, he would be sad for their absence, but at least he had their children to keep him company. The two little girls, ages fourteen and twelve, viewed him as a dear Uncle.

It had been too long since the last time he could call anyone friend, but this family was his friends, his human family, though they shared no blood or conventional ties with him.

"Of course, take your time," Michael replied with a warm smile.

With a nod, he moved away from the vehicle, and strode towards the main doors of the orphanage the young woman had resided in for the last eight years. She'd been a beautiful, little girl of ten when tragedy struck, her parents dying in a car accident, leaving their daughter alone in the world with no other family member surviving to take her in.

He'd known about her existence since the moment he'd heard of her conception, having kept secret tabs on the family for years. Why?

As the door opened, revealing the object of his hidden affections, the chocolate brown eyes of his twin sister's descendant, his last remaining family to survive to the modern age stared back at him with open fondness and love.

"Kagome," he breathed her name, ignoring the middle-aged woman who stood protectively behind her, helping carry his new charge's two suitcases.

"Sesshomaru, you're here," Kagome whispered, emotion making her voice more husky than normal.

The sound of her beloved voice was like a pleasurable caress to his senses. Gazing upon her beautiful face, not for the first time did Sesshomaru wonder why a family had not adopted this woman-child years ago. Perhaps she'd been too old for the many families who came and went looking for a child to take in, or maybe they'd sensed his dark presence around her and shed away from her. The last thought never ceased to cause him some measure of guilt.

Like so many of his family's descendants, he'd kept a watchful eye on each one but never had he interfered in their lives, never showing or introducing himself. Centuries ago, that had not been the case. After one unfortunate accident, he'd stopped trying to integrate himself in his family's lives. Twenty years after the family members he'd once grown up with had died, he'd tried to reconnect with their descendants, only to accidently reveal his vampire nature, resulting in the accidental death of one and causing the other to try and kill him.

It was a memory Sesshomaru tried desperately to forget.

Over the centuries, he'd watched as his line grew smaller and smaller, dwindling to just one surviving member—Kagome. Unlike all the rest, he'd felt compelled to show himself to Kagome. There had always been something about her that made her different from all the rest. As she grew, he'd visit her some nights, given her gifts, and spent hours in her company, but he'd made sure he'd sworn her to secrecy about his existence; though she did not know that they were distant—very distant—relatives and his demonic nature.

When she'd, of course, asked him one night, long ago, why he never visited during the day, he'd merely told her he was allergic to the sun and incapable of venturing out into the sun's rays. She'd believed him, still did. His pale skin validated his claim, so white, he was almost translucent.

Now, taking in her slightly round face, small, pert nose, full lips, thin but no less shapely body, and her short stature, he could finally reveal his presence to 'outsiders' and give her a home. The orphanage was unable to keep her past her eighteenth birthday, she was no longer a ward of the government, and she knew no other home, had nowhere else to go. He could not bear to see her struggle alone in this world without offering his aid, especially when he'd finally realized why she was so different from the rest of his dwindling line.

His twin sister Kikyo had been reincarnated inside this human girl, now woman. They looked so similar, almost identical copies of the other, but that was not why he'd come to love her as he did now. Their personalities were vastly different, yet similar. They shared the same inerrant kindness towards others, but that was where the similarities ended. Kikyo had been slightly jaded and aloof, while Kagome was headstrong, passionate, and outgoing.

It was not Kikyo Sesshomaru saw but Kagome as he reached out to lightly brush the backs of his fingers against her cheek.

"Did you think I would not?" he asked Kagome.

She blushed guiltily and ducked her head, hiding her face from him.

"Maybe a little…"

He dropped his hand but was not disappointed in her lack of faith. He had not been around as much as he could have been, as much as he'd wanted to be. It had been safer that way—for her. He wondered if she still harbored ill feelings towards him, because when she was younger, trapped here, she'd begged him to adopt her himself, but that had been too risky. If he'd taken her in, Sesshomaru feared her finding out about the demon he'd unwillingly become. That fear was ever present, more so now than ever before since she'd begin living with him. The thought of her turning away from him in fear and revulsion would savage his already splintered and black heart.

"Let me help you with these," he murmured, reaching down to take her luggage.

However, after grabbing the largest one, Kagome had quickly picked up the other before he could.

"I can help," she said with a small smile.

He did not dissuade her, merely returned the facial gesture, making sure not to flash his fangs. Though they were not as long and sharp when he fed or when his emotions were high, he still worried about discovery. His unnaturally amber gaze and snake-like pupils were already disconcerting to humans, no need to add to their discomfort and suspicions with canine-like teeth. When he was human, he'd had normal hazel eyes, but since his change, his gaze had morphed into that of a predator, much like a wolf's.

Watching his new ward hug the older woman, it was obvious the other woman did not fully trust him. Though she did not seem to guess his true identity, modern day fads were both a blessing and…not. His strange eyes could easily be mistaken for contacts. Even though it was a popular trend—among other things—not all humans considered such fashion a good thing, viewing him as a bad influence and much worse. Though this older woman did not try to dissuade Kagome from going with him in his hearing, there was little doubt she did not trust him.

Too bad.

She'd had her chance to help Kagome find a loving home and failed. Now it was up to him to offer Kagome security.

Breathing deeply, Sesshomaru offered Kagome his arm when she turned back to him expectantly. Worry, trepidation, elation, and perhaps a little fear swirled in her dark depths, probably wondering what life would be like for her from today onward. Though she was obviously glad to be free of the orphanage, it was all she'd known for close to a decade, so he did not blame her for her worry. Regardless, with a bright smile only for him, she curled her hand around his elbow, allowing him to escort her to his waiting vehicle.

Despite Kagome knowing of his wealth, though he'd never bragged about it, she still seemed intimidated when he opened the back door of his limo for her. Taking both suitcases, he allowed Michael to put them in the trunk without a word, save for a grateful nod, and folded his tall frame to sit beside Kagome in the black, leather seat.

She was too close to him, their thighs almost touching. If his heart could beat, there was no doubt that it would be racing a mile a minute at their close proximity, and as Michael returned behind the wheel, she snuggled closer still.

Thin arms wrapped around his thick bicep, her side nudged up against his, and her head fell on his shoulder. Unable to stop the swift tightening of his body as sexual tension thrummed through him, Sesshomaru stiffened, didn't even pretend to breathe for long seconds.

Misreading his reaction, Kagome felt it, and tried to move away with a softly whispered, "Sorry."

She didn't get far. He wouldn't allow it even though it was probably better to keep her at arm's length, physically and figuratively. Fast—probably too fast—Sesshomaru wrapped the arm Kagome had held onto around her shoulders. Keeping his elbow on the back of the seat, he easily cupped her far shoulder and brought her tight against him again.

She gave in to his embrace readily, once again cuddling close to his chest. Innocently, her hand moved to his upper thigh, and just rested there. However, Sesshomaru felt that touch like a brand. It scorched his flesh with lust, forcing Sesshomaru to adjust his long coat over his lap as nonchalantly as possible to hide the tent in his black jeans.

Her body heat seeped through clothes to warm his already too hot body. Gazing down at her black head, her white neck drew his stare like a magnet. Her black tresses revealed the tempting pulse that beat steadily at her throat, and though he'd taken care of his thirst before meeting her this night, his fangs shot out of his gums almost painfully. It wasn't because he still hungered for sustenance that had him aching to take her vein, but because it was her, Kagome. He had never once preyed upon her, but for the last three years as she slowly became a woman, he'd hungered for the taste of her blood, to wrap her body intimately with his and make her a woman in truth.

If she'd been born back when he was still alive, still human, she would have been married long before now, but times had changed. For that, he was grateful, because the selfish part of his being shed away from another man possessing her, and he cursed himself anew for being glad that she was yet untouched. He should act fatherly towards her, had attempted to all these years, so shouldn't he want Kagome to fall in love, get married, and have children one day? To be with a man who could give her these things as he could not?

He could not enjoy the day with her, could not share a meal, or give her children. Though he was fully capable of ejaculating, like his heart, his seed did not bear life. While he remained the same age as when he'd died, a man of thirty-two, she would wither and die; her body still held sway under time's influence.

_But you could make her like yourself,_ his mind had whispered to him more than a few times these past two years. And like every other time it whispered to him, Sesshomaru squashed the thought. If he couldn't accept the monster that he'd become, how could he expect Kagome to embrace such a life? He'd take everything from her, just as it had been taken from him. He could not do that to her—ever.

Closing his eyes, Sesshomaru turned his face away from the temptation of her exposed neck, but her scent continued to taunt him. He was tempted to cut off his breathing and end his torment, but it was already chancy enough allowing her to recline her ear so close to his still heart. She didn't seem to notice, but surely she would if her body did not rise and fall with his deep breathing.

Having her so close was both a pleasure and pure torture. Because of his inability to stay away and ignore Kagome's plight, Sesshomaru faced the same dilemma as he had over five hundred years ago—falling in love with a woman society viewed as unacceptable. He'd loved his twin sister from afar, somehow controlling his baser urges for what seemed like an eternity, and now he was repeating his mistake by losing his heart to his twin's descendant.

It seemed fate continued to spit at him by making him covet that which he could never have.

Regardless, Sesshomaru did not release her as Michael drove them to his manor.


	2. Requiem for a Dream

Requiem for a Dream

Sesshomaru stood alone in his music room. There were many instruments therein, a grand piano, flutes of all shapes and sizes, as well as violins and cellos, guitars and other stringed instruments. They lined the walls in their displays, a large harp in a far corner, while the black piano silhouetted the center of the room. Large windows allowed the light of the moon to filter into the otherwise dark room, a few candles here and there adding additional light, the flickering flames giving off a gentle, vanilla aroma that soothed him, reminded him of the body lotion his ward preferred to use.

It had been a week since she'd taken up residence in his home. He'd taken great pains with having her room decorated, making sure it was everything she could have ever wanted, even gifted her with a brand new wardrobe of expensive, brand name clothing and jewelry and shoes. He'd thought to shower her with the things she'd never had before, to pamper and spoil her, but Kagome hadn't seemed overjoyed by the knowledge of possessing all these materialistic items. Though she wore the new clothes and a few shoes, she hardly ever touched the jewelry. She'd even thanked him for his generosity when he'd made it clear that everything was hers, and that he wouldn't allow her to refuse his gifts.

He'd known that about her. Kagome didn't seem to want many material things. Instead, she'd made fast friends of Michael and his wife, along with the children, had even gone out during the day together while he remained secluded in his dark room beneath the manor, in the basement. Though the lower level was as lavish and filled with modern day comforts as the rest of the manor, there was no way to escape the knowledge that he hid like a rat beneath the earth when the sun was in the sky.

He made sure that Kagome did not visit him there while he slept, for the sun made him all but powerless, truly dead to the world. When the sun set, his body became leaden, impossible to move, and every rising of a new day was like he died all over again. It was slightly painful as his body shut down on him. It took no more than a few seconds, but he felt a terrible wrenching deep down in his soul every time, and he knew that he was really dead.

Like his heart, his brain refused to function, his dark powers snuffed out, darkness taking him he knew not where, because on every rising when the sun set, he'd have no memory of where his soul went when it left his body. The first time he'd felt the sun's affect and many nights after that, he'd been afraid—no, terrified.

To be so helpless, to feel his body betray his will… To this day, he still felt trepidation at the disconcerting feeling that was death, and yet after all these centuries, he continued to 'come back to life' without fail. For the longest time, he'd feared someone would stumble upon his resting place and end his existence once and for all or be trapped in the daylight and burn alive while he 'slept'. Though he despised what he was, he did not wish to remain dead. He wanted to 'live', even if that meant continuing on in this half-life he trode.

No, he did not want Kagome to see him like the corpse he knew himself to be. To insure she never became curious enough to ignore his verbal warning, he'd lock the steel door at the top of his stairs, and even forced his will on her subconscious. Sesshomaru felt guilty for altering her sleep patterns by manipulating her mind, forcing her to sleep through most of the day so that she was awake all through the night—with him.

And to make his brooding worse, tonight was the anniversary of Kikyo's death, when she had died at the age of forty-three when she'd fallen down the stairs and broke her neck. Of course, he hadn't seen it happen, hadn't been aware of her untimely demise until a few weeks after the fact, but he'd stood by her newly dug grave, stroked her head stone many a night, and mourned alone.

And like every year, he secluded himself and played. The last few years it had been the same song every time, usually on his violin, sometimes on the piano because the melody seemed the most appropriate for the occasion. This time, he picked up his favorite violin and checked the strings, testing to make sure it was in tune though he knew it already was. He personally kept his precious instruments clean of dust, well kept, and ready to use for next time, and there was always a next time, for his love of music ran deep, more so now than even when he'd been a real man. For so long now, it had been the one beautiful thing in his life.

His hands were covered in blood, though he did not take a human life when he fed, he still stole a part of them, but when he held an instrument, his fingers were capable of creating the most beautiful sounds. He did not feel like a monster during time such as this.

Lifting his bow, he made the first, long strokes back and forth along the strings, his fingers moving accordingly at the handle to form the familiar notes of 'Requiem for a Dream'—the song of death, in memory for his beloved twin.

A twin he'd abandoned the night he'd awoke as a vampire.

He'd given his family not a word of his departure, merely fled, fearful of what he might do, to attack them, perhaps accidently murder them while he learned how to feed without tearing his prey's throat out, or draining the human of too much blood. But most of all, he ran because he did not want to witness the horror, fear, and revulsion of his change upon Kikyo's face.

It was best he'd left, regardless. Though she was married, had been since the age of fourteen to his dismay, he'd wanted her. As the years went by, one after the other, it had become increasingly difficult to hide his feelings from her. He'd never had the courage to tell her that he did not see her as his sister, but as a man looking upon the woman he desired.

Perhaps it was for the best he'd left without even saying good bye…

Though it was customary to stand perfectly straight when playing the violin, Sesshomaru was wont to sway to the music, to move his head at the longer motions of his bow, and have his upper body move gently with the melody, unable to keep still.

His long, silver hair moved with him, shifting across his muscular back, though he kept the thigh length mass tied back with a black, silk bow at the back of his skull. It was strange actually. Though Kikyo had been his natural born twin, they couldn't have looked more dissimilar. While she took after their mother, he was almost an exact replica of their father. Except for their eyes. They'd shared the exact same hazel hue, a mixture of green from their father and brown from their mother.

A forest color, their mother was wont to say all those years ago.

Footsteps sounded behind him. He'd left the door open. Kagome's scent penetrated his senses, but the music kept him calm, gave him something else to focus on besides how much his body burned to possess hers.

She spoke not a word, and he did not turn to greet her but continued playing.

Memories of his family receded; more recent ones taking their place. He'd played for Kagome before, and she'd even insisted her parents have her take piano lessons before their deaths. She'd continued to learn the instrument while at the orphanage, until she'd become proficient at it. Her love of instrumentals rivaled his own, and he'd encouraged her passion to play, even supplied her with a grand piano at the orphanage.

And like so many times before, the soft notes of the piano's keys hummed through the air as she played the correct notes to the song he played, allowing his violin to take the forefront and only supply the notes that would enhance his performance.

Sometimes, he'd do the same for her. Others, they'd duet in force. But right now, as if she could decipher his mood, she synced her notes with his in a supporting role.

His hand moved from side to side at the right moments, his arm jerking faster a few seconds, then in long glides the next, while his fingers danced upon the end of the strings. His body swayed with the melody, though the sound had a sorrowful tone, the notes touched a content chord within him with Kagome's presence.

With a last flourish of his bow, the song came to an end, the keys on the piano fading until silence reigned in the room.

Without turning to look at Kagome or speaking, he walked forward, placing his violin in its case gently. Then, slowly, Sesshomaru turned to her. She was already on her feet, facing him. The moonlight that filtered into the room reached across the floor to bathe the lower half of her body, keeping the rest in shadow, but there was no shadow dark enough to prevent his enhanced eyes from seeing all of her clearly.

While he wore all black, jeans and a silk, button up shirt that was only half fastened, baring his upper chest, she wore a crimson top with sleeves that ended at her elbows and hip hugger blue jeans that molded over her curves like a second skin.

Kagome was family, no matter how distantly related, and instead of having fatherly—or hell, even brotherly—affection for her, Sesshomaru felt a man's interest. He didn't see her as a daughter or younger sister but as a woman he wanted desperately. Already he felt his body stirring, heating with the beginning of arousal. Not now! If he sported an erection now, with Kagome so near, there was only so long he could use the shadows to shield a very prominent tent in his jeans.

Kagome took a hesitant step towards him. When he did not move towards her, she stopped and fidgeted uncertainly.

Reigning in his lust, Sesshomaru asked, "May I help you with something, Kagome?"

The shadows could not hide her flush from him, and seeing the blood rush to her face in obvious embarrassment had his teeth aching to sink his fangs in her neck—or other, more intimate parts of her body. His predator's gaze travelled down to her thighs before he could control the impulse.

"I-I'm sorry if I intruded," she said, indicating the piano behind her. "I just thought…" Shaking her head, she turned and stepped towards the open door. "Never mind. I don't know what I was thinking."

Before he could think better of it, Sesshomaru flashed over to her, and gently but firmly gripped her upper arm. Big brown eyes turned to stare up at him. There was surprise in her wide eyed gaze, and he almost cursed at his foolishness. He'd moved too fast for a human, he knew.

"You don't have to leave."

"I didn't mean to intrude…"

"You didn't," he quickly interjected. "You of all people could never intrude."

Surprisingly, she cupped his left cheek, her expression turning somewhat sad. "You seemed…unhappy, sad even, and I didn't want you to be alone or feel like you were."

He blinked. She was sad because she thought he was? Tenderness welled up inside him. Unable to help himself, Sesshomaru drew Kagome into his arms, holding her close. It was a bad idea on so many levels, but he ignored reason and held someone for the first time in too many years to count.

As if they had embraced many times, Kagome easily molded her much smaller frame against his own and wrapped her arms loosely around his waist. At six feet four inches, he dwarfed her, the top of her head barely reached the bottom of his chest, which was a good thing since it prevented her from noticing his lack of heartbeat. Compared to his size, she was almost child-like, but Sesshomaru knew it was a woman he held, her lush breasts pressed against his torso.

Yes, his body heated at her proximity, but holding her thusly was a different kind of pleasure, but like all good things, it had to come to an end. Placing his large hands on her hips, he gently pushed her away and took a step back. Was it wishful thinking to believe that she let him go reluctantly?

"You play very well, Kagome."

She beamed under his praise.

"I had wonderful tutors, even you, Sesshomaru. It's because of you that I became interested in music. You even made sure I could continue practicing after…"

Seeing her sadness at bringing up her loved ones' demise, Sesshomaru was instantly contrite for the subject being brought up. Though it had been ten years since their passing, he knew that Kagome still felt their loss.

Then, surprising him, she asked, "Who were you playing for?"

He shed away from her gaze at even her vague mention of his twin sister. Feeling it was about time she knew some of the details, he took her hand, and drew her towards the piano bench and sat beside her. The small seat ensured their thighs touched. To prevent her from falling off because of his wide shoulders, he tucked Kagome against his right side, as far away from his heart as he could manage on the short bench. His hand rested innocently on her hip, keeping her close.

A deep sigh slowly expelled from his lungs.

Without preamble, he answered. "Tonight is the anniversary of my twin sister's death."

Kagome's small hand rested consolingly on his thigh, and he tried not to think about wanting her hand sliding up and over his groin. She meant nothing sexual by the contact, and he was a bastard for wanting it anyway.

"I'm so sorry, Sesshomaru. I didn't know…"

"Don't worry yourself. She's been gone for many years."

_More than you know,_ he thought but didn't say.

"Of course, I'll worry," she said softly, but didn't press him for details, which he was thankful for. "But I'm here for you, if you ever need…anything."

He had a few ideas for that _anything_, but forced himself to relax and calm his lustful thoughts. Kagome was trying to offer him comfort, not indulge in his sick perversions.

"I know you are."

After a short pause, Kagome asked almost hesitantly, "Would you…like to play another song?"

With a small smile, knew she asked if she could duet with him again, he nodded, and they rearranged themselves on the bench, facing the piano, and Sesshomaru let Kagome lead him into the song of her choice, then placed his own fingers on his side of the keys, and played his notes.

She'd chosen the same song, and though the melody was as hauntingly beautiful as ever, Kagome made it happier than it should have been, by challenging him, showing him he could pay tribute to his sister without the sorrow lacing his heart.

All through the song, the small grin upon his face remained.


	3. Dark Desires

Dark Desires

Sesshomaru hunted his prey, scenting the air, and instantly caught the scent and strode forward with long, purposeful strides. Night had recently set, giving him new life. Eager anticipation thrummed through his veins, and he struggled to keep his steps unhurried and calm. If his heart was capable of beating, it'd be racing, matching his elevated mood. Much like when he stalked his next meal when he'd waited too long and was close to starvation, excitement filled him, but this time was different.

His fangs did not lengthen in preparation, he didn't salivate from thirst, and his excitement derived not from the hunt but from…happiness. It came from just the thought of spending time with his ward.

They had a date.

Kagome had been staying with him for a month now, and lately she'd seemed discontent, but he didn't know why. A sliver of melancholy had started to plague him of late as he wondered if she grew unhappy with him. He'd tried to bring up the topic, but always he'd grow tongue-tied and had no idea how to broach the subject. He wasn't accustomed to catering to anyone's whims. In fact, he wasn't used to taking to people in general, even with his small staff—his friends.

But yesterday just before the sun rose, Kagome had surprised him and asked him if he'd like to go out with her, see a movie or something, anything. Had that been the reason behind her strange mood? Did she want more time with him? Just the thought of her yearning for his company, even platonically, had his blood boiling with excitement. However, again for the thousand time since she'd begun living with him, he silently chastised himself.

Even if he wasn't a vampire or a distant relative, sex with him was not for sweet virgins like Kagome, for his desires were dark and twisted. He was incapable of gentle lovemaking. His libido was moved by more canal pleasures one such as her should never be introduced to—not a young girl barely a woman, untouched, and unschooled in pleasures of the flesh.

Pain mixed with pleasure, bondage and torment of the senses.

He'd not always had such carnal cravings, though he'd always wanted his partner to submit to him. He'd always been a dominant male, in and out of the bedroom. Though he shouldn't think such bastardly thoughts, Kagome's innate innocence made him want to bring her into the darkness and taint her with his dark desires. Not enough to corrupt her character but to glory in the darker side of passion—with him—and yet still remain pure at heart.

He was disgusting.

He desired her anyway, secretly.

Sesshomaru rounded a doorway and stopped without breeching the threshold of his morning room. If he'd been anyone else, the room would have been used to receive guests, and in the old days when he was born, drink tea and talk about inconsequential things. As it stood, he hardly ever frequented the lavish room. Even so, Michael's wife always had every room clean and aired, hospitable.

And there she was.

Kagome sat on the small, white sofa several feet away. Though it was situated closer to the wall, capable of giving the occupant of the seat a clear view into the hallway from which he stood immobile, she did not notice him. Her nose was buried in a book, her long, dark hair obscuring her face as she bent her head towards the open pages. He couldn't help but grin, flashing one fang as predatory instincts filled him.

Just to tease her, an unaccustomed playful mood taking over him, he stalked her. Keeping close to the wall, Sesshomaru glided around and behind Kagome soundlessly. The air around him didn't even shift with his passing until finally, he stood behind her. Bending down, one hand on the back of the sofa well out of her sight, he was about to spook her, to see her reaction to his presence when the black, printed words caught his attention. Curious, he read a passage.

"_Tell me you want this," he growled at her, surging inside her before retreating to repeat the movement._

_Small cries were escaping her parted lips but she was able to reply haltingly, "You…I want you…"_

_He watched as his cock was buried repeatedly inside her tight pussy, causing him to snarl in conquest. Suddenly, her walls tightened and clenched around him, and he groaned, almost going to his knees as she tightened further around him and climaxed on a silent scream._

_He thrust through her spasms, refusing to reach oblivion himself just yet, and when she finally came down from her high, he removed his cock from her weeping core to pick her up and take her seat before arranging her on his lap so that her back was to his heaving chest. He thrust powerfully back inside her, moving her legs on either side of his knees to keep her spread wide for his invasion. _

Sesshomaru blinked in surprise, growing stiff with the power of his need. What the hell was she…? Just then, the scent of Kagome's arousal filtered to his flaring nostrils, and lust hit him in the gut, his erection instantly pushing against his jeans, paining him. Trying not to gain her notice just yet, he reached down, unsnapped his jeans and slid the zipper down, before reaching in and readjusting himself more comfortably in the confines of the black denim. Closing his jeans, Sesshomaru leaned back, face upturned to the ceiling as he fought to regain control over himself.

There was no way he could tell his groin to behave, but he fought to retract his fangs as the lust he felt had punched them through his gums, lengthening them to sharp daggers. Long minutes passed as he took control of his body's desire, while the gentle flipping of pages reached his ears, and he knew that Kagome continued to read, unaware of his presence, making calming down difficult, damn near impossible. Her choice of reading material…

_Fuck! _

He had to stop her from making that mouthwatering scent!

Going back into the same hovering position he'd been, his eyes alight with a hint of the desperation he fought back, Sesshomaru tried to regain the light, teasing feelings from just a little while ago. He made sure not to look at the book just in case his control snapped while he moved his mouth close to Kagome's left ear.

What came out of his mouth was not what he'd been going to say before. It border-lined crossing a line, but he uttered it anyway, and somehow, he was able to speak in a light, teasing manner, even though he was feeling anything but.

"So, this is what young women read now a days. Fascinating."

A sharp intake of breath, then a high pitched shriek, and Kagome was off the sofa, standing before it with a hand to her ear, the one he'd whispered in. Her heart was pounding, and though her shocked face amused him greatly, he almost groaned when he noticed her pulse racing at the side of her throat.

Even more amusing was the bright flush that tinted her cheeks as she realized it was he who'd interrupted her and knew what she was reading. Too late, she tried to hide the book behind her back, but not before he glimpsed the cover. It was blood red and had a handsome man holding a beautiful woman closely. What's more, the cover read 'Dark Desires'.

"Sesshomaru! You almost scared me half to death," reprimanded Kagome.

Nonchalantly, he moved around the sofa, his long fingers trailing across the backrest as he advanced on her.

"Am I interrupting your reading, Kagome?"

His continual teasing only flustered her further, and when she glared at him playfully, he chuckled.

"It's rude to sneak up on people, you know."

He continued towards her slowly. Kagome backed away and that only made him want to chase her. A dangerous game they were playing and she didn't even realize it.

"I was not 'sneaking'," Sesshomaru replied, a half-lie. He hadn't been at first. "Is it my fault you were too preoccupied with your…" his eyes heated, his grin turning wolfish as he continued to approach, backing Kagome up against the far wall, next to a large window. "…_novel_ to notice my presence?"

The way he purposefully hesitated to say 'novel', emphasizing the word, she blushed harder, flattening her back against the wall the best she could with her hands behind her, still trying to hide the cover from him.

The atmosphere around them was too charged, filled with sexual heat—or at least on his part. But when he stopped just a few inches away, almost brushing up against her, Kagome had to tilt her head back to continue meeting his gaze, and there was something in her eyes he wouldn't be able to mistake on any other female's face.

Interest.

Surely he was mistaken? Though her arousal was thick in the air, he had not been the one to cause it, and for some idiotic reason, he was beginning to become jealous of a _book_. Ludicrous!

Still…

Sesshomaru placed his palm on the wall near Kagome's head and leaned down until his face hovered over her own, sharing their breaths. He noted with predator eyes how her breathing quickened with his nearness, the dilated quality of her pupils. She was definitely reacting to him, and the eyes that watched him did not offer him the same fond regard he was accustomed to seeing, but a woman's sexual interest.

Before he could find out if she was reacting to him alone and not because of her choice of reading material by doing something as foolish as kissing her full lips, she spoke, whispered to him.

"Sesshomaru..? W-what…are you doing?"

Reality came crashing back. His expression became shuttered, hiding his thoughts.

Instead of answering, he pushed away from her, and took a few steps back.

"Are you ready to leave?"

"Wha… Oh! Right. Our date. Yes, I'm ready."

Sesshomaru tried not to take her wording in the literal sense to this age, that their date did not imply that they were a couple and about to go out as one. He was her benefactor and she his ward, nothing more, nothing less. It was best he remembered that important fact. As he turned away from her, leading Kagome through the house to his garage where he kept all his vehicles, he berated himself for his actions, for what he'd almost done—to his own flesh and blood.

He'd almost kissed her.

He gnashed his teeth together in frustration, his carefree mood shattered by unfulfilled lust.

He led her towards his black Viper, opened the passenger door for her, shut her inside with controlled strength, and walked around the front of the vehicle, before getting behind the wheel. Silence continued to reign as he drove. While Sesshomaru was accustomed to the lack of communicating, Kagome's silence was troubling. Glancing at her more often than he should, trying and gauge her feelings, he couldn't see her face. Her head was turned, gazing out of her window.

He'd planned to take her to a movie. She'd been talking about some new release that had just come out and was dying to see, then take her out to eat, but with her strange mood, he was instantly on edge. Needing to know why she acted so melancholically lately, Sesshomaru made a few turns, away from the city and towards open land so that they could be alone. When he parked, he placed a hand on her knee before he thought better of it.

"Kagome? What is troubling you?"

She turned to meet his stare, her embarrassment from before all but vanished. She didn't ask why he'd stopped instead of taking her to the movie theater, her expression serious.

"Nothing really. It's just…"

He gave her knee a small squeeze, then removed his hand before he was tempted to do more, touch higher.

"Tell me."

Hesitating only for a moment, she blurted out, "I want to get a job." Then she bit her bottom lip and watched him intently, as if she was trying to read his expression.

He gave nothing away, merely sat still and rigid in his seat. She wanted to…what?

"Say something," she finally demanded when he remained silent.

Sesshomaru cleared his throat. "Is there a reason why you feel the need to seek employment?"

She made a sound as if the answer was obvious.

"I'm eighteen, Sesshomaru. People my age usually plan on going to college and—"

"College?" he interrupted. Kagome wanted to _leave _him, so soon?

She shook her head. "Not me. I mean, I already took college courses while at the orphanage, between my schoolwork. I'm a registered nurse's aide, now."

That was news to him. He narrowed his gaze on her, his fists going to the wheel and clenching, but not too hard, lest he crush the plastic.

"And I'm only learning this now? Why the big secret, Kagome? Why hide your…accomplishments from me?"

She blinked, her face scrunched up in confusion. "I wasn't hiding anything." Then she shrugged. "I just kinda forgot to mention it. What with the whole being kicked out of the place I called home for so many years and moving in with you, it completely skipped my mind. I forgot I hadn't told you. I'm sorry."

So, she'd been planning her future for the last two years—without his help. The thought displeased him even though he knew that was foolish. He should be proud that someone her age in this day and age would act so responsible, but he wasn't. He finally had her in his home, and he wanted her to stay there. At least for a while longer—a lot longer, but never long enough, not like he desperately wanted.

"So, you are discontent in my home, _our _home?"

Kagome gazed at him in surprise, as if she hadn't even thought of the manor as her home, too, and didn't that set his teeth on edge even more. Sesshomaru released the wheel or break it.

"Of course not!" she denied with conviction, until she sat back, flushing and fidgeting. "Well, I like your home—"

"—_Our_," he cut in.

Nodding as if to placate him—_him!_—she amended, "…our home, but I have very little to do!" She held up her hands helplessly. "I need to do something with all the spare time I have, and I like helping people."

While he was being selfish, wanting her for himself, Kagome was thinking about others, and that chastised him like nothing else could, reminded him just how different they were, and not just by their species.

"And… I don't want to keep accepting money from you."

"What's mine is yours," he told her quickly, firmly.

"But, Sesshomaru…"

"If it's money you need or anything you desire, I'll get it for you."

"That's not the point, Sesshomaru. It's your money. I can't just keep expecting you to give it to me."

His shaft thickened in seconds at her words. Oh, he wanted to _give it to her_, all right. His cock pulsed in silent reply, eager to be the 'it'. He clenched his fists, trying to fight off his instant arousal. Now was not the time! It never would be. That sad truth cooled his ardor somewhat, but his erection remained.

He was such a bastard.

"I have plenty. I don't mind supporting you."

Didn't she understand that?

"I know, and I thank you. It's very kind of you, really."

Now it was Kagome's turn to place her hand on his knee. If he wasn't already stiff—in more ways than one—from their conversation, her touch would have done the trick for him.

Kagome didn't take her hand away. She didn't seem to realize the affect she had on him—a blessing, he tried to tell himself without much success.

"But I want to earn it myself, to be somewhat independent."

Again his cock twitched, signaling to be the 'it' that she should earn before giving 'it' to her.

Goddammit! Did she have to make innuendoes, even innocently? There was only so much he could take before he did something they'd both regret later.

Reacting quickly to get her to stop touching him and make her stop saying things that made him think about sex—with her—Sesshomaru nodded his head once, more of a jerk than anything.

Kagome smiled brightly at him, and before he knew what she was doing, she unbuckled her seatbelt and threw herself against his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight hug.

While she was babbling about a job interview in a few days and that she'd be working the night shift if hired, Sesshomaru barely paid attention to her excited words. He was excited himself but not at the prospect of Kagome finding some independence with having a job. No, his whole focus was on the breasts that were plastered against his chest and warm breath on his neck and ear as she spoke.

The erection he'd been trying to ignore was made impossible with her pressed against him, and her neck… Too close! He could smell the blood pumping beneath her pale skin, and had to close his eyes against the sight of her pulse beating far too near to his lengthened fangs. Wanting just a little closer, just a bit, Sesshomaru tilted his head down and buried his nose against Kagome's neck.

Just a taste… Just a small…tiny….taste…

Kagome went still and silent. Uncaring, he stroked his tongue across her pulse a second time. When she shifted, Sesshomaru wrapped his arm around her waist, keeping her against him, his other hand pressed between her shoulder blades. His attentions were obvious. He was a man, she a woman, and he wanted her, but somehow Kagome misinterpreted the moment.

He would have found the situation amusing if his cock wasn't throbbing, his body on fire, and fangs aching to be encased in warm flesh.

Kagome's hand went to his hair and stroked the long mass.

"You don't have to be worried for me, Sesshomaru. It's just a night job. I'll still be living with you. If you want me, that is."

Jerking his head back, he gazed down at Kagome's upturned face.

"I'll always want you," he rasped, his voice gone deeper with sexual tension, and before either of them was aware of his actions, he cupped the back of her skull, and crashed his lips against hers in a kiss that knew no gentleness but heat and desire. And with a whimper that only fueled his sick desire, Kagome submitted, kissing him back.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: The passage in Kagome's book is actually a passage from my own work. It's from my lemon oneshot collection 'A Smell So Sweet', chapter four, titled 'Dark Desire'. Why? Because I am recreating the vampire lemon into this story, with obvious changes to fit the slightly different plot. Which means, yes, there will be some D/s in future lemon in this story, BUT they will not be taken from the oneshots. I will be writing new lemons :)**

**Before I get PMs or reviews from readers wanting chapter stories for ALL of my lemon oneshots, I do not plan to make any other oneshots from 'A Smell So Sweet' into a chapter story. I'm sorry, but that is too much work for me. **


	4. Out of Control

Out of Control

He was overthinking things, Sesshomaru knew, but this was the first night that his ward had started her _job_, and he was apprehensive. Kagome was working the night shift, five days a week, for eight hours per day, and his mind continued to plague him with anything from Kagome being molested by someone at the hospital, in the parking lot, or wherever while she was away from the protection his—_their_—home provided her to her catching some illness from a patient. Though he could understand her need to be useful—that was just Kagome's personality—he could even understand her need for independence and not solely rely on him for her needs, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Not one damn bit.

At least Kagome had allowed Michael to drive her to and from work instead of calling a cab. It helped that his ward wasn't completely unreasonable and could compromise with him. He completely ignored the fact that the only reason why he'd _compromised_ with her concerning getting a job was because she'd blindsided him with that hug…then the kiss that he'd foolishly initiated. Remembering his horrible lack of control, he recalled how she'd responded to him, how she'd relaxed into him, and given her mouth to him without restraint. It was only realizing her complete lack of restraint, her complete willingness to fall into his arms, that had brought him back to sanity.

He hadn't explained his action, merely continued on with their plans that evening—their date. As if sensing his mood, Kagome had—thankfully—let what happened between them go unquestioned and seemed to enjoy herself. A huge part of him was thankful that she had, while a small, nagging part of his mind was disappointed, the part of him that wished to throw caution to the wind and take her. And that was why he'd let her have her way. As long as she was away at work, the less chance of him losing his head again would occur.

Sesshomaru wanted to go to the hospital she worked at anyway, to watch over her, but refrained. Instead, after a week of watching Kagome go through the interview process and finally, tonight, having her first night at work, he went to her room, searching for the one thing that had been nagging at him night after night since its discovery. After several minutes of searching through her things, the things he'd provided for her, he found it. In the small side table by her bed, in the top draw, he found the book she'd been reading.

Holding it in both hands, he gazed at the familiar red cover with the two individuals locked together in a heated embrace, and read the title again: _'Dark Desires' _. Kagome's scent was everywhere in the room, that vanilla spice she seemed to love permeated the very air he breathed. Her choice in perfume conflicted greatly with her choice in reading material. Would he ever understand her? Turning, needing to remove himself from the intimate atmosphere of her bedroom, a place he shouldn't even have passed the threshold even when she was gone, he decided to find out. Something primal in him needed to know, to understand his ward better.

Sesshomaru refused to even think about the fact that Kagome might just be interested in the intimacies he craved, because those thoughts only led to revelations he should not even contemplate… And yet, he took her book, secluded himself in his study, and sat down behind his desk and read. There were over three hundred pages, but he was able to read every one by the time Kagome's shift ended and Michael left to retrieve her.

Reading her novel had been a mistake, a huge error in judgment, for his cock was thick and straining behind his black denim. Worse, his gums ached as his fangs lengthened against his will. His need to fuck tightened his muscles as he forced himself to remain where he sat. One wrong move and he'd lose it. Though his heart did not beat, his breathing was labored. Realizing he needed to control his breathing to help control his lust, he cut off all oxygen to his lungs. Letting his head fall back, ignoring the erotic book placed before him on his desk, he closed his eyes, and finally allowed himself to breathe in a low, slow breath of air he didn't need.

Another mistake. He smelled her before he heard her dainty steps.

A small knock sounded on the door he'd had the sense of mind to close before sitting down to read. He should ignore her. No, he should tell her to go away, that he was busy. But the choice was taken from him before he'd found the resolve to send her away.

"Sesshomaru?" Kagome murmured, poking her head into his study. When she saw him, she took a small step inside, and he lifted his head from the back of his seat, watching her without blinking. "Ahh…Sorry. Were you resting? I can come back later…"

"No," he found himself saying, noting the rasp to his voice, and cleared it, before continuing. "I was not resting, merely thinking." He motioned to one of the two chairs before his desk, silently offering her to join him. "How was your first day on the job, Kagome?"

Happiness flooded her expression, and she came to him with a bounce in her step, though he could see how her shoulders were dropped from weariness. She sat down on the edge of her seat and leaned towards him, a wide smile on her face.

"It was great! Though I mostly followed another nurse around as she told me what my job would be, I feel like I'm doing the right thing."

Though his erection pulsed in his pants in need of attention, Kagome's happiness had him smiling, easing the tightness in his shoulders.

Reaching for the landline, he asked, "Did you want something to drink? Maybe a snack? I can have something brought to you."

"Oh, Vicky already asked me. I would have made a sandwich for myself, but she insisted," Kagome replied. Victoria, or Vicky as she preferred to be called, was his housemaid and wife to his driver Michael.

"I'll tell her to bring it here."

"No, you don't have—" Kagome began, but he was already dialing and speaking with the older woman.

The call lasted no longer than a minute, but as he set the receiver down, there was a notable difference in Kagome as she sat stiffly in her seat. Sesshomaru was about to inquire if something was wrong when his eyes followed hers…and landed on the book.

He stiffened, too, but not out of embarrassment and shock that held Kagome rooted to her seat, mouth gapped open, and a pink flush sprouting on her cheeks. From just acknowledging the book, it brought back his conflicting feelings of hope and deprivation.

"W-why do you…have that?" she breathed.

He stared at her, but she wasn't looking at him but at the damning book. He placed a hand on top of it, and as if it were a signal, her gaze shot up to meet his stare.

"I was curious," he whispered, not at all repentant for reading it, though he wished he hadn't.

"You could have asked!" she cried.

"Would you have willingly let me borrow it?" he couldn't help but tease. When she groaned and dropped her face into her hands, Sesshomaru suppressed a chuckle at her obvious humiliation.

"You're probably thinking I'm weird or messed up," she moaned pitifully, confusing him.

"Why do you think that?"

She refused to look at him, but at least she lowered her hands, her gaze on the carpet. "It's not normal erotica."

"And what is normal?" he asked, though his chest hurt at the thought that Kagome viewed the BDSM lifestyle as wrong.

She huffed and waved her hand, as if the answer was obvious. "Because people don't normally… think about that kind of thing when they have as little experience as I do."

"You think because you are a virgin that there is something wrong with you to be interested in this lifestyle instead of something more vanilla flavored?"

Her face turned a darker shade of red. "Let's not talk about my lack of experience! It's too embarrassing," she moaned.

"I don't find you lacking," Sesshomaru murmured. When she peeked up at him, he clarified. "Being chaste at your age is a novelty in this day and age, I admit, but it's something to admire, not to belittle."

Kagome lifted a hand to her hair and brushed it back, a nervous habit of hers he was accustomed to. She'd had it since she was a child. "I've hardly ever dated," she muttered. "The few times I've tried, the guy would think less of me when he knew or got angry when I denied him…liberties. So I just assumed…"

His back went rigid for a whole new reason at her words. "Some male pressured you into having sex." It was more of a statement that a question. "When did this happen? Who were they?"

He wanted to rip them apart for daring to touch what was his! His blood was boiling for a fight, his fists clenching, unconsciously digging his claws into his palms.

Kagome had the audacity to roll her eyes in the face of his anger. "Chill out, will you? It's not that big a deal. Nothing happened and no one forced me to do anything. Nothing even happened other than a few kisses."

"They _kissed _you?" he seethed.

She shrugged as if it didn't matter, annoying him further with her nonchalant attitude. "It didn't move me. Not like…" Now she blushed again and looked away. "Not like when you kissed me."

And like turning a switch, Sesshomaru's anger shifted to a burning need.

Then she groaned and slouched against her chair, face upturned to the ceiling as his had been just a few minutes ago. "I don't want you thinking I'm weird because of 'my choice in reading material,'" she mimicked his words a week prior.

"BDSM is a lifestyle choice," he replied neutrally, hiding how her words cut like knives that she'd think there was something wrong with his lifestyle choice. Yes, he was a hypocrite for feeling this way, considering he also thought he was a depraved monster to wish for Kagome beneath him, submitting to him, giving him all the control to see to her pleasure.

"I know," she replied with a sigh.

Hedging, he asked, "If you did not agree with it, why read about it?"

She sat up so fast, her hair flew around her. "No, I do! It's just… Maggie, the woman you saw when I left the orphanage to stay with you, said it was…unhealthy and wrong."

"She was mistaken."

Kagome blushed again. "How did we get on this topic?"

He chuckled, amused. "Does it matter? If you have questions about anything, including this topic, feel free to ask me. Unlike Maggie, it takes someone with an open mind to discuss such an intimate topic with. Remember, Kagome, you grew up in a Catholic orphanage, so their views are, shall we say, restricted?"

"I don't think I can do that," she replied.

"Why not?"

She gave him an exasperated look. "Because it's embarrassing discussing something like this with you!"

"Would you be more comfortable talking about it with someone else?"

"Maybe," she hedged.

He thought of an alternative source. "You have a laptop. Research it." Why was he encouraging her? Sesshomaru forced himself to be truthful with himself. The answer was simple. He wanted her to gain more knowledge, he wanted Kagome to know all about this lifestyle so that one day he could— No. No!

"I have…" she whispered.

It took him a second to fully comprehend what those two, little words implied, but when he did, his cock twitched, and he was forced to place his palm over it, and stroked once. Big mistake. Stifling a groan, he tightened his hand around himself until it hurt. This conversation was getting out of hand. How was he to change the subject to safer topics? In the end, he didn't have to, for Vicky knocked on the closed door and walked right in with a bright smile. In her hands was a plate with Kagome's requested sandwich and a glass of milk.

"Here you are, honey," Vicky said, offering Kagome her food and drink.

"Thank you, Vicky. You really didn't have to go through all the trouble," Kagome said.

Vicky waved Kagome's comment away before patting her shoulder. Then she turned to him and asked kindly, "Do you need anything, Sesshomaru?"

He shook his head. "No, but thank you."

"I'll leave you two alone then." With a farewell smile, she turned and left, shutting them alone inside once more.

Sesshomaru watched Kagome take a hearty drink from her glass, saw how her throat moved with each swallow, and swallowed thickly himself. When she lowered the glass, she had a comical milk mustache and he grinned. Seeing it, Kagome stuck her tongue out at him, obviously relaxing now that they were not discussing sex, and wiped her mouth on her wrist, cleaning off the residue milk.

She offered him her plate. "Want some? Vicky cut it in half, so we can share."

"No, thank you. I have already eaten. Eat." He waved his hand at her to continue. "You're probably hungry after a long day at work."

At his mentioning of her new job, Kagome commenced with regaling him of her night in between taking bites from her sandwich, and praising her coworker, the nurse who had coached her. Though he was not pleased about Kagome having a job, he was glad to see that smile on her face and that she was animated and enjoying herself. As long as she was happy, he was happy.

Fifteen minutes later, she had finished eating and exhausted the topic about her work. Her eyes lowered meaningfully to the book lying innocently on his desk. Then she shifted uncomfortably.

"H-have you finished the book..? Or do you not want to finish it?" she asked tentatively.

"I have finished reading it," he replied. Placing his hand on the cover, he leaned forward and slid it across his desk towards her. "You can have it back, if you wish. And I apologize for invading your personal space by going into your room. I'll not do so again. Not unless you invite me." He whispered the last. He hadn't consciously meant to say the words, but now they lay suspended between them.

Then a thought came to him. "Is it merely kink you find interesting or the BDSM lifestyle? I assure you, there is a distinct difference."

She rolled her eyes at him again, making him want to punish her in pleasurable ways for that small show of defiance. "I know that."

Still, he pressed, "Then tell me the difference, so I know you know."

"Do we _really _need to talk about this?" she groaned more than asked.

He merely stared at her, waiting. Kagome gave in with a huff.

"Kink stays in the bedroom. It's where you experiment in bed and make things more exciting." Kagome shifted uncomfortably, but continued. "BDSM is a lifestyle choice. It affects your everyday life not just in the bedroom. Have I gotten that right?"

Sesshomaru nodded and forced himself to speak past the dryness in his throat. "Is it the kink you like or the lifestyle choice that intrigues you?"

Kagome gave him a pained look, but he waited for her to speak, gave her the choice to talk about these things without pushing her. She rubbed her thighs a few times before speaking.

"I like the thought of entrusting myself fully to another, to let him take control, so while kink sounds like a fun way to spice up someone's sex life, I want to go further than that."

Before he could think better of it, Sesshomaru murmured, "Come here."

Kagome blinked and stared at him. "…What?"

"You heard me. Come to me, Kagome."

Instead, she shrank back against the chair, but though her actions seemed like she was against coming closer, the look in her eyes heated his blood. She was reacting to the command in his voice, but her own uncertainty kept her restrained.

"Why?" she asked, licking her lips.

Her hesitation reminded him that he shouldn't be doing this. She was his _ward _and nothing else. And yet, his heart that did not beat, the pulse in his shaft behind his denim, overrode logic. What was the harm in just a taste? Kagome was merely curious about this kinkier side of sex. He wanted to show her that this lifestyle was not just a game. It was real, it was serious, and held many dangers if either partner was not aware of the physical, mental, or emotional abuse it could give a person if not done correctly. He ground his teeth in anger at the thought of her going to another because of her curiosity. He would be the one to make her understand, to teach her.

Sesshomaru tried to tell himself that he was only educating her, showing her that this was not what she truly wanted from a partner, but he knew he was testing her. That dark side of his nature wondered if she would enjoy this side of him. The darkness within him squashed the rational part of his brain.

"Your choice, Kagome," he murmured, his voice gone raspy with want. "It will always be your choice."

The seconds ticked by without either one moving. While his breath was suspended, trapped in his lungs, Kagome's chest rose and fell with her panting. It was arousal not fear that glazed her eyes. Then she moved towards him, sealing her fate. The demon inside Sesshomaru chuckled darkly. Pushing his chair back from his desk, making room for Kagome, he further encouraged her compliance with an outstretched hand—one she took.

She trembled. Showing his approval at her courage, he lifted her hand and kissed her wrist, tasting that fast pulse beneath her flesh.

"Good girl," he murmured, drawing her between him and his desk.

He drew her closer, encouraging her to straddle his lap and sit on his thighs, putting them at eye level.

"Wrap your arms around my neck," he instructed.

This time, she did what he asked without hesitation.

"What are we doing, Sesshomaru?" she asked on a husky whisper.

Stroking his left hand up her back, he fisted her hair and pulled back, forcing her to arch her neck back. She gasped. He spoke against her frantic pulse. "What do you think I'm doing?"

She swallowed thickly. Keeping his desire on a tight leash, needing to be in control now more than ever, he moved away from her tempting pulse and licked up her throat and the underside of her chin in one long glide. Then he stared her straight in the eyes. He couldn't miss the fact that she had gone soft and relaxed in his hold. He couldn't help but wonder just how far she would let him take things… Best not to think about it.

"Do you want me to kiss you, Kagome?" he asked, letting her control the situation. He needed to know if she was alright with how things were progressing between them. He had to know that she knew she had a choice in anything they did together.

She looked at his lips. "Yes," she whispered, longing in her voice.

He didn't ask twice. Instead, using his free hand, he stroked the pads of his fingers along the side of her neck, then he kissed her. It was demanding and deep. He kissed her how he'd dreamed of kissing her, unrestrained, all tongue and teeth; however, when she moaned and began to participate, her tongue in his mouth, his fangs pricked her flesh. The taste of her sweet nectar made him stiffen, awakened a hunger in him he fought to control.

With a gasp, Kagome wrenched her face to the side, and watched as she dabbed at her tongue, her finger coming away with a spot of blood. Wide eyed, she stared at him uncomprehendingly. Though the sight, scent, and taste of her blood threatened to shatter his control, apprehension slithered down his spine at the realization that he'd fucked up.

This was why he couldn't have her, why he should keep her at arm's length. He was less than human, a monster.

"Sesshomaru..? What…"

Teeth gritted, he gently but firmly put Kagome back to her feet and stood. He left her standing behind his desk, ignoring her call as he fled.


	5. Unleash the Beast

Unleash the Beast

He was avoiding her, he knew, as he awoke on the third night since his last 'meeting' with Kagome. As he walked up the stairs and unlocked the steel door that protected his resting place, he knew before letting his senses roam around his home that his ward was gone, having already left to start her shift—the graveyard shift. His fault. Because he couldn't let her roam around freely while he slept during the day.

Sesshomaru made his way through his empty halls, purposefully avoiding the human inhabitants. He hungered, he thirsted, so he exited his home through a side door leading into his garden. He ignored the plants and flowers Michael's wife took care of in her spare time. If it gave Victoria pleasure, then he saw no harm in letting her transform his barren land into something beautiful.

A fog covered the land and there was a chill in the air he did not feel. Without being told, he knew his flesh was cold. He needed sustenance; he needed to feed, to steal warmth from another since his own body could not produce heat without new blood. The very fangs that had pierced Kagome's tongue lengthened as hunger tightened his gut, saliva pooling in his mouth. Her taste was forever imprinted on his mind—forbidden fruit. He needed it, craved a heartier taste, but instead settled for going out and hunting. As he transformed into mist, becoming the very particles of water around him, he hunted for prey. Kagome wasn't prey despite the demon within clawing at him to find her, sip from her. Unlike the majority of humankind—his human family notwithstanding—he did not view Kagome as cattle.

And yet it was these very cattle Kagome wished to save by becoming a nurse's aide. She was the only bright spot in his life, his only weakness.

He travelled many miles, unhurried, making the beast within wait for that which it craved. Then, finally, he came upon a couple locked in an intimate embrace on a side street in the city. Moving into the shadows further in the alley they moved towards, he transformed back into his mortal form. At the scent of prey, hearing the heartbeats within their chests, the hunter in him awakened, and on silent steps he trod closer.

Even as the woman blinked over her lover's shoulder, catching sight of him, Sesshomaru instantly caught her eyes and beguiled her easily, silencing any warning cry she might have made. Her companion didn't realize his companion's relaxed pose, for he continued to kiss her neck and fondle her bountiful breasts.

Catching the man's attention, Sesshomaru growled low in his chest, the sound a warning, hinting at a possible threat. When the man spun around, the fear in his eyes went out, and like the woman, he stared back at Sesshomaru with glazed eyes. The trance he put them in would not harm them; _he_ would not harm them, merely take the sustenance needed to replenish his blood cells, to bank the hunger that was never ending. He used to go longer periods without feeding but knew he had to be careful now that Kagome dwelled with him, especially after unwittingly sampling her addictive taste.

As swift as a viper, he sank his fangs in the man's throat, making sure the human stayed enthralled so he did not feel the prick of his bite, nor panic. When he'd taken enough from the man, Sesshomaru eased him down to a seated position, leaning him against the wall, then beckoned for the woman to approach. She did without a word and he drank from her as well. Afterwards, he left them relatively comfortable, wiping any trace of his presence from their minds, and shot into the sky. This time, he morphed into a bat.

He didn't return home. No, instead, he made his way towards the hospital his ward worked at. Using his senses, he searched for her. He could feel her somewhere inside the building when he got there but didn't go to her. The possibility of either mortal eyes or technological equipment detecting him was too high. So he perched in a tree near the hospital and waited.

—

"Sesshomaru," Kagome demanded as she found him in the small stables he kept on his property. She had gotten off of work not an hour ago and changed from her scrubs and into blue jeans and an emerald green, long sleeved shirt. "Care to explain to me why you've been avoiding me?" she asked loudly, an angry flush on her cheeks.

Turning from brushing his stallion's mane, Sesshomaru regarded her silently for a long moment. Gabriel whickered in greeting to his ward, and Sesshomaru stroked his flank soothingly, the black coat soft to the touch.

"Have I been?" he asked, tone low and neutral.

She placed her hands on her hips, and seeing her unaccustomed anger made her more appealing to him, and he shouldn't be viewing her in that light—at all. He went back to brushing Gabriel's mane, trying valiantly to control his ardor. Kagome obviously wasn't having any of that, for she stomped up to him and grabbed the crook of his left arm, where his hand rested on the horse's neck.

"Why won't you look at me?" she wailed, and the scent of her tears made him stiffen.

Gritting his teeth, he refused to turn to her. "Perhaps you should return to the house. It's chilly tonight."

She wrenched on his arm, trying to gain his attention. "Sesshomaru, why are you acting like this? Have I… Did I do something wrong?"

"Of course not," he was quick to deny firmly. And he meant it. _He_ was the one who'd done something 'wrong', not her.

"Then why are you ignoring me?" When he refused to answer, her next words came out as a tortured whisper. "When we were in your office that night… I thought you were testing me, or something, to see if I really wanted…that. And I do. With you, that is."

Sesshomaru stiffened at the first mention of that night, and he had feared she would ask what had happened when they'd kissed. What she said instead floored him. Lust thickened his groin in seconds, while need crashed through his body like a raging storm. Before he could control himself enough to speak, Kagome released him and stepped back.

"Never mind." She gave a shaky laugh and started walking backwards slowly. "I don't know what I'm saying. I have to go."

When she turned to flee, Sesshomaru reacted, snagging her arm. Wide eyes stared at him from over her shoulder, and then he jerked her roughly towards him. With a sharp gasp, Kagome tumbled into his arms. Fisting her hair in his hand, he forced her head back and swooped down, kissing her hard and fierce. He allowed all of his pent up arousal and emotions show in that kiss.

"Sessho—Can't… I can't…breathe…" Kagome panted against his mouth after a while.

Instead of releasing her as he should, he held her tighter against his chest, forced her mouth wider open by forcing her head back just a little further and continued kissing her. She didn't fight him, didn't try to shove him away. In fact, her small hands were gripping onto his shirt front, tugging him closer.

After another long minute, he gentled, sipping from her mouth, before finally drawing back a scant few inches, letting her take in a huge rush of air. She blinked glazed eyes up at him, her mouth forming a surprised _oh_. There was no way she could miss the evidence of his arousal as her hip was pressed up tightly against his thick groin, and he didn't even try to hide it.

"I want you," he whispered.

Closing his eyes after that all too real admission, he pulled her against him, her cheek against his chest, one arm around her back, while his right hand cupped the back of her head. Leaning down, he curled his body over her protectively. Kagome was too short and he too tall for him to bury his face in her hair while they both stood, but he scented her, filled his lungs with it, his ears hearing the fast clip of her heart.

"I shouldn't, but I do," he said, still in that low tone, his voice filled with torment, and not because his body lusted after hers, but rather his dead heart ached for her—her love and affection. But he could not have it. He could not do this.

"Is it because I'm younger than you?" Kagome asked, resting against him. "I…don't mind that you're older…"

Centuries older, he thought, almost laughed, but not from amusement. Instead, he said, "Fourteen years is still a major gap," in this day and age, he thought, but did not say, "and you are barely eighteen."

She leaned back, and he let her. Their eyes met. "I'm legally an adult," she said stubbornly.

Trying to soothe her flare of anger, he rubbed her back. "You are still my ward, and I would be taking advantage of you."

"What part of 'I'm an adult' do you not get, Sesshomaru? I can make my own decisions. I'm not some headstrong child! I know what I want and… I want you, too."

It literally killed him to hear her say such words to him.

"You can't know that for certain," he insisted, trying to dissuade her, to save her from her naivety—_from him_. "You've been sheltered most of your life. You haven't gone out to experience the world or met more people." He hated saying these things, but he had to.

Instead of fighting him like he thought she would, she asked, "Then why did you kiss me just now? And those other times?"

He didn't have an answer without damning himself. He'd already admitted to wanting her. He'd already been selfish; he wasn't about to do it again.

As if reading his mind, she spoke. "You said you wanted me. Was that a lie? Or are you just playing with me?"

That last accusation he would not let stand between them. "No!" he said fiercely, grabbing onto her shoulders, shaking her gently. "No. Do not think that. Not for _one _second."

"Then why are doing this? You push me away yet hold onto me. You are being totally confusing!"

Sighing heavily, he released her, and then they were standing just inches apart without touching, staring at the other. "It is more complex than you realize, Kagome. You don't know me, not truly. If you did understand, you would run from me."

"Do you mean the… ah, BDSM?" she asked, flushing. This time, his mood was far too serious to find amusement at her embarrassment. "I already told you I wanted to try it."

"That is only part of it," he answered. He couldn't say it. He couldn't say what he was, because he selfishly didn't want her to run from him in fear and despise him. Kagome was completely right. He kept her at a distance, and yet, he would not release her. His selfishness knew no bounds, and it pained him to witness that hurt yet hopeful expression on her face.

"Whatever you have done, whatever you are hiding, I could never hate you," she said passionately, reaching out to hold his left hand. He let her.

"You might." _You will._

"I'm not perfect either, Sesshomaru. No one is! The past doesn't define us. Not even you."

_Oh, how wrong you are,_ he thought.

At his continual silence, she exploded. "I'm not going to give up on…whatever this is between us. Not until you _tell me_ why we shouldn't at least try to be together!"

"There's nothing between us," he said before thinking, a blatant lie he spouted in his desperation to get off this topic.

Too late, he realized his mistake. With a surprised gasp, a pained expression crossed her face. Kagome shouted, "You're such a jerk!" Then turned and ran.

Catching up to her easily, he caught her arm. "Kagome—"

"Let me go!" She jerked on her arm, but he would not let go.

"That's not what I meant!" He yanked her up against his chest again, ignoring how she beat against him with her fists. Cupping the back of her head, he curled over her like before. "That's not what I meant," he whispered, his voice breaking.

"Then what did you mean?" she demanded, tears in her eyes. "It sounds pretty clear to me."

"You don't understand."

"Then make me understand! Or let me go."

Sesshomaru's breath caught. He should drop his arms and step back. It would be nothing more than a small command from his brain to his nerves and muscles, and yet he could not do it. He did not let her go but held her tighter. With a heavy heart, that was when he knew. He'd been foolish to think he could offer Kagome a home and control his desire for her, to hide his feelings from her. Sooner or later she would find out—about _everything_. As resolve and weary acceptance settled in his mind, Sesshomaru let go of the fantasy he'd tried to live in.

"I'll tell you. Everything." He sighed heavily, then let her go. Wanting one more good memory with her before it all fell apart, he said, "First, let's ride."

Confusion filled her eyes as she stared up at him. "What do you mean?"

He motioned behind him towards his horse. "The night is beautiful. I believe a moonlight jaunt is called for."

"You're stalling," she commented without heat in her words, just fact.

"Perhaps."

But she nodded, and in just a few minutes, Gabriel was saddled. Leading him towards Kagome, the stallion stamped its hoof in anticipation. Sesshomaru mounted with one fluid motion, easily finding his seat, before removing his foot from the stirrup and offering a hand down to help her mount. This wasn't the first time they'd ridden together, and Kagome stepped on the stepstool Sesshomaru had provided for her, grabbed his hand, put her foot in the stirrup, and he gently pulled her up. She settled sideways into his lap and leaned against his chest as if she belonged there. A fanciful thought, one he could not hold onto.

Regardless, Sesshomaru kept one arm around her waist while his free hand held the reigns and controlled Gabriel with his knees, encouraging him forward. At first he kept them at a walk, then at a light run. It wasn't until Kagome whispered _faster_ that he allowed his mount to run as fast as he could, and Gabriel did with relish. Sesshomaru tried to ignore the way that one word from her lips affected him and enjoyed the wind against his face, whipping both his and Kagome's hair behind them.

For half an hour they rode, varying speeds, until Sesshomaru finally headed back towards the stable. Silence reigned between them as Kagome helped him wipe down Gabriel, water and feed him, before returning the mount to his stall.

Sesshomaru turned to her, inwardly steeling himself.

"Tell me, Sesshomaru," she encouraged, practically begged.

He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. No matter how he tried to force the words 'I'm a vampire' out…nothing.

"Sesshomaru!" she shouted, demanded.

Feeling cornered, the demon within him snarled.

"I'll show you," he muttered darkly, allowing his own anger to come forth.

Rushing her, he swooped her up into his arms and took them into the night skies. He ignored her surprised and fear filled shriek as he flew towards the city, towards the real prey. The way this one, tiny mortal made him feel trapped, like a cornered rabbit, had the demon inside him growl in fury. He was angry for many reasons and none of them were aimed at his precious burden. No, he was angry at fate, pissed at the one who made him in to this beast, irate at the unrequited love he felt towards Kagome. If he couldn't _tell_ her what he was, he'd _show_ her. Common sense fled his mind, logic swallowed up by the hectic emotions riding him.

In minutes, he dropped from the sky and landed on the ground in a crouch, absorbing the impact. The lone male he'd found yelled in alarm before Sesshomaru swiftly bespelled the human with his demonic gaze. Setting his shaky companion down, he shook her to get her attention. Wide, uncomprehending eyes stared up at him.

"Watch," he commanded in a hard voice. Returning his gaze to the male before them, he ordered, "Come."

Without saying a word, his eyes flat, the man walked up to him. Tugging the man around, Sesshomaru grabbed the mortal's chin from behind and turned his head, baring his throat.

"This is the answer you so desperately wanted," he snarled at Kagome, and as she watched him, transfixed, he opened his mouth wide, baring his lengthened fangs. Then he struck and fed from his prey's jugular.

Kagome cried out and stumbled backwards. She fell, landing heavily on her rump and froze. Their eyes met and held. It was only when he saw horror and fear contort her face that rational thought returned. His own widened in horrible realization at what he was doing. Retracting his fangs, he forced the man to sleep with just a command. He barely remembered to catch the human as he fell, before settling him on the ground ungracefully.

Sesshomaru took a step towards the frightened girl, hand outstretched. "Kagome! I…"

That was when she screamed.


	6. Seed of Hope

Seed of Hope

His worst fears lay before him—literally. As Kagome trembled on the ground just a few feet away, Sesshomaru was at a complete loss as to what to do. He'd been beyond foolish by how he went about revealing his true nature. Regret set heavily in his chest.

"Kagome…please…" he whispered.

She seemed to struggle inwardly with herself, but at least she had stopped screaming. The echo of that fear-filled cry continued to ring in his mind, regardless.

"What…" She swallowed noticeably before trying again, her voice pitched low, and the fear in her eyes lessened as she searched his face, but it was still present. "What just happened? I-I don't understand. What you just did… The flying and with that man…"

Hope was a fickle thing. Since Kagome was trying to understand and not run madly in the opposite direction, a small bud of hope emerged. He hated it, because he knew once Kagome fully understood, she would still turn from him—in disgust and loathing. But it was too late now to turn back time. Even though he could wipe her memories of what just occurred, he knew this conversation was inevitable. It was about time he confessed. But he was not foolish to think that understanding equaled acceptance.

Voice thick, he answered. "I am a legend that walks amongst mortal men, a living nightmare. Vampire." He said the last word with a hiss of displeasure, not at all proud to be what he was.

"Are you mad?" she asked in disbelief, before her eyes widened, and he could see her gazing at him in remembrance of what he'd just showed her. Dark eyes falling on the human behind him, she shuddered. "T-there's blood…on your face," she murmured when she looked back at him.

He stiffened before lifting his hand and brushing his thumb over the thin trail of blood running down the corner of his mouth. Without thinking, he swiped at it and licked his thumb clean. Only after Kagome made a strangled sound in the back of her throat did he become aware of his actions. Floundering, feeling at a loss and awkward in her presence, he opened his mouth to apologize, but no words spilled forth. He closed his mouth with a snap.

"How did you… When did you become…like this?" she asked weakly.

"Not willingly." His voice was hard, the old, simmering anger filling him at the memory of that night so long ago. "I died when I was thirty-two, and since then I have lived for another five hundred years."

"Five hundred?" she repeated weakly.

Nodding, Sesshomaru took a hesitant step towards her, but when she stiffened, he stopped.

"I know that you are afraid," he murmured. "But I will not harm you. Ever. If you believe nothing else, Kagome, at least believe that."

She stared up at his face for the longest time as if searching for something. A lie? After what seemed like forever, she finally moved. As if in slow motion, she lifted her hand towards him, silently asking him to help her to her feet. He stepped forward, grateful for this small boon. Clasping that small, warm hand, he gently pulled her up, but when she was on her feet, he reluctantly released her. They stared at each other silently for a moment or two. The silence was deafening and uncomfortable, for him at least.

Suddenly, she spoke. "You once said you were allergic to the sunlight. That's not completely true, is it?"

He shook his head once. "If the sun touched my flesh, I would burn and rise no more."

"Rise?" she parroted. "What does that mean?"

It was hard for him to have this conversation with her, but he forced himself to speak truthfully. "When the sun rises, during the day, I die, over and over again, only to rise again once night falls."

"And you need blood to live." It was a statement, not a question. Still, he nodded—once.

Kagome glanced at the man behind him again, this time with bleak eyes. He wondered when she would condemn him, when she would turn away in revulsion. It was maddening, this waiting. Part of him just wanted to get it over with, while another held on to these last few moments with her.

"Have you… Do you…kill when you…"

"No. I have long since mastered control of my thirst. There is no pain, no memory of my taking, and no lasting effects."

She didn't look at him when she asked, "Have you…with me..?"

"No. You are not and never have been or will ever be prey to me, Kagome."

"Do you want to?" Now she looked up at him.

He swallowed thickly, remembering that small taste he'd accidently had. His voice came out a thin rasp when he answered. "Yes."

When Kagome took a step towards him, he unconsciously retreated. She stopped but her eyes bore into his. "Can I touch you? I need to… I want to check something…"

"What are you searching for?" He did not want her to touch him. He ached for her to do just that.

She shook her head, her eyes not once leaving his, and there was a desperation in them he did not understand. "It's not something you can answer."

After a short pause, he finally nodded his head once, and held himself stiffly as she advanced three steps, putting them just inches away from each other. The distance was small yet it felt like a chasm lay between them. Her hand went to his chest, right over his heart. Was she seeing if it beat? She dispelled that thought when she spoke next.

"It's still there."

Confused, he frowned down at her. "What is?"

She flushed, which only added to his confusion. "Ah…that connection. Attraction," she breathed the last.

Even as his lungs seized by her confession, it was her turn to frown. Her hand pressed harder against his chest.

"Where is..? Why don't I feel your heartbeat?"

He went cold inside. "It hasn't for five hundred years."

Her hand slipped from his chest, and when she tried to take a step back, Sesshomaru grabbed that hand in desperation, and forced it back where it had been.

Anguish filled her eyes. "So you really are dead..?"

It hurt to hear her say those words even though they were true.

Still, he asked, "If I am dead, then why is there a vicious pain where my heart should be? It has long since ceased beating, and yet I feel it all the same."

Tears spilled down her cheeks as she looked at their clasped hands, but she did not tell him to release her or try to reclaim her hand. Instead, she pressed against his chest again, and for some reason, it seemed like she was crying for him. Was it alright for him to believe that, or was it merely wishful thinking?

"I'm afraid," she whispered hoarsely.

"You do not have to force yourself to stay with me. Allow me to set you up in your own place, support you financially, at least until you can survive on your own."

"No!"

His heart plummeted. She looked up at him.

"I mean… I…don't want to leave."

"What are you saying?"

She shook her head and bit her bottom lip before she looked away and her bangs hid her eyes. "I don't know. I'm so confused, but… I don't want to leave… Not yet."

_Not yet._

Those words left him dead inside. But for now, she seemed willing to remain with him. For a day? A week? Longer? Perhaps less. It didn't matter. He was not about to force her away from him. If she wanted to stay with him, for however long, he would not turn her away. Selfish desire though it was, he did not fight it.

"For as long as you wish for my presence, Kagome, I will never be far away," he rasped, emotions clogging his throat.

Using her free hand, she punched his arm, surprising him. He hardly felt it, more like a feather than anything, but her eyes turned angry.

"Did you have to be so…horribly cruel?" she growled.

He blinked in astonishment, her hand falling away as he released her. She pointed at the fallen man behind him.

"Was that…performance, really necessary? Were you _trying_ to scare me half to death?"

"I…"

"Couldn't you have been a little gentler in telling me your secret?" she continued, fuming.

Not understanding her swift change in mood, Sesshomaru wasn't sure how to respond. "Would you have believed me had I just said 'I'm a vampire'?"

She rubbed the back of her head, making a sound of annoyance and looked away for a second. "Maybe… Probably not." She sighed. "I would have most likely thought you were crazy. But still!" She poked him in the chest with her index finger. "You could have handle it better than…" She waved her hand towards the man again. "…that."

He nodded, agreeing with her. Feeling contrite, which was new to him, he stared at her, lost, not sure how to proceed. Things were not going how he'd thought they would be. He wasn't sure yet if that was a good or bad thing.

She glanced at the man again. "Ah…do we just leave him there?"

Again he nodded.

She bit her bottom lip. "What if something bad were to happen."

Sesshomaru did not care in the slightest; he never did, but he was not about to admit it to her.

"He will wake shortly and be on his way," he said.

Unexpectedly, she asked, "Do the others know?"

He instantly knew what she meant: Michael and his family. "Yes."

She nodded and reached for his hand. "I like and trust them. What's more, I trust you. You've never hurt me, not once, and you've always been there for me, helping me. I don't know what I think about this whole situation, but for now, I wish to stay with you. Is that alright?"

Warmth flooded his chest, and that bud of hope grew stronger. He tightened his hand around hers, squeezing gently. "Yes."

She gazed shyly up at him, and though there was uncertainty in her eyes, she did not shy away from him, and the fear was all but gone. "There's still a couple of hours before morning. Are… Are you busy until then?"

Moving slowly so as not to startle her, he wrapped his free arm around her, his palm over her lower back. She was so small. His hand literally spanned her back, from thumb to pinky. She was breakable, terrifyingly so, and he took great care not to hurt her even by accident.

"My time is yours. What would you like to do?"

Kagome pressed her cheek against his chest, leaned against him, and wrapped her arms loosely around his hips. "Can you just…hold me? Just for a little while?" He couldn't miss the vulnerability in her voice. His arms tightened around her. Then gently, he stroked the back of her hair, giving and receiving comfort. Obviously, they both needed it after the emotional upheaval that had recently occurred. Neither spoke, but this time it was not an uncomfortable silence.

"You are so brave," he told her.

She shook her head against him. "I'm not."

He chuckled ruefully, brushing her hair behind her ear so he could stroke her cheek with the back of his fingers. "You are at this moment holding onto a demon. That takes courage."

"You're wrong," she whispered. "It doesn't take bravery to be with you. I want to."

"Even after all I've done, how I've scared you?" he asked, surprised yet pleased.

"I admit, that was a pretty mean thing to do but… I think I understand why you did it, at least a little. Still kinda mad at you, though."

She didn't sound mad, but sulking. Impossibly, a small grin formed on his lips.

Just then, the man behind them groaned. Kagome stiffened against him and would have drawn back, but Sesshomaru tightened his arms. Bending, he picked her up in his arms, holding her like a bride. Wide eyed, she wrapped her arms around his neck, staring up at him in question.

Leaning down, he murmured against her temple. "Let me show you the beauty of flight, to rectify my deplorable actions from before."

Her fingers tightened, but her eyes were trusting, if a little guarded, as she met his stare. She gave the tiniest of nods. "Don't drop me." There was fear in her voice again.

"Never," he replied firmly.

—

"The sun approaches," Sesshomaru said.

He and Kagome were in the living room of his manor, sitting on one of the couches, watching the end of a movie. Kagome had asked him to spend time with her, so she'd decided on a movie night. That she wished to stay with him surprised him enough, that she curled up against his side as they sat on the sofa touched him, humbled him. She was so very precious to him. His arm was around her shoulders, her hand on his thigh, and her face upturned to him after he'd spoken. He wanted the night to never end, to last forever, for he was finally at peace, but the sun approached. He could feel it.

Kagome clutched at him, worry clear to see on her face. "Does it hurt? You said it was like dying."

Swallowing bile at the knowledge of what was to come, fear trying to choke him, because though he'd been a vampire for centuries, it still unnerved him when the sun overpowered him. "It doesn't hurt…that much. But, like my heart, my body ceases to function, my mind is stuck in a black abyss, and yet my body does not decompose."

"That sounds scary."

She didn't realize how correct she was.

"Does it scare you?" she asked unexpectedly.

Not wishing to admit to his gut-wrenching fear, he replied, "It is…unsettling." Then, "I have yet to get used to it."

As if she knew what he did not admit, she hugged him tightly, offering what comfort she could. Strong emotions riding him, he leaned down and kissed her forehead for a long second.

"I must go." His lips brushed against her brow like butterfly wings.

Reluctantly, he released her and they both got to their feet. They stood inches away and stared into one another's eyes.

"Can I come with—"

"No!" he cut in a little too sharply, before gentling his words. "No. You do not need to see that."

She seemed ready to argue, but she nodded after a second's silence.

And then he was gone. Having waited a little too long, he used his demonic speed. Safely in his coffin, the steel door to his rooms tightly locked, he soon felt his body succumb to the sun's power; his last thought was, _Kagome_.


End file.
