Gossip Girl 1. Chapter 1

Summary: Being married has been the best thing for both Kaelyn and Chuck who have now graduated from college and are back in New York both with profitable careers and a newborn baby they are faced with new challenges that risk their marriage

**Summary:** Being married has been the best thing for both Kaelyn and Chuck who have now graduated from college and are back in New York both with profitable careers and a newborn baby they are faced with new challenges that risk their marriage.

_**Than To Ever Live Without You**_

**Chapter One**

Frustrated from the morning rush as always Kaelyn went between looking for a pair of earrings and feeding a newborn baby. Katherine Bass was only a few months old and she was fully experiencing growing up in New York City with two very busy parents. Kaelyn attempted to breast feed as she finally found her earrings and now she sat in front of her fax machine waiting for a memo. She had the baby propped up as best she could as she stood at the fax machine. She had been off work for maternity leave, but now she had to return to her office because her office needed her with being the Editor and Chief and all of one of the newest and now most popular fashion magazines. Finally the fax machine started and she was relieved as she now walked still feeding the baby to the bedroom where Chuck was finishing his morning routine, but this morning it was extra because he had to fly to Tokyo and his flight was set to board very soon.

"I still don't see why you can't send someone else." Kaelyn said as she sat down on the bed with her suit jacket open while the baby ate. "Today is my first day back to work and you gone and the baby. I am going to be so stressed."

"First day back. Honey you have been working all through your maternity leave. You were in labor and still had your laptop open and having a business meeting over the phone in the hospital." Chuck said with a laugh as he walked to Kaelyn and ran his fingers over his daughter's soft hair.

"True, but I am going to be gone to the office and I hate to leave Katherine." Kaelyn said sadly as she noticed the baby was finished. Pulling herself back into her blouse she then put the baby blanket over her shoulder and placed the baby to burp her.

Chuck kissed Kaelyn on the cheek and then Katherine on the top of her head. "I know Kay, but you are going to have to get used to it." He said with a yawn. "Just like I have gotten used to not having a full nights sleep with Katherine waking up every night."

"Mr. Bass your car is here." Announced the live-in nanny Georgia who walked into the couple's bedroom. "And Mrs. Bass your car is just around the corner." She said as she walked to Kaelyn and picked up Katherine who had just burped.

"Thank you Georgia." Kaelyn said as she stood and then kissed Katherine on her forehead. "Alright baby mommy will be home soon." She said to the little girl.

"And daddy loves you." Chuck said as he let Katherine take hold of his finger.

The couple then walked out of the room together. Kaelyn rushed into the home office to grab her faxes that she stuffed into her large Coach bag and made it to the door with Chuck who had now picked up his briefcase and member of the staff followed with his suitcases. Standing in the elevator Kaelyn stood in Chuck's arms as they made it to the lobby.

"I will call you when I get to Japan." Chuck said giving Kaelyn a quick kiss.

"Alright, Love you." Kaelyn said.

"Love you." He said before walking to his car where the staff member was already loading the suitcases.

Walking to the car behind the one Chuck had gotten into Kaelyn boarded into her car and sat back in the seat. It had become something they were used to and it bugged Kaelyn that every few weeks Chuck was out of the country, but she had to travel a lot also and it had really started to bug her now that they had a baby girl who she wanted both of them to spend as much time as they could with. Sniffing back tears Kaelyn watched the buildings pass as she rode in the car. When she arrived at her office building the driver opened the door for her, she thanked him and then made her way into the building where she was greeted by the doorman.

Once she exited the elevator on her floor there were many people who erupted into cheers. She smiled as all of her staff had gathered to greet her on her first official day back after having Katherine.

"Thank you." She said over and over to staff members who welcomed her back as she made her way to her office.

Finally making it to her office she was alone as she walked and opened her curtains. She had a beautiful view of the city from her office. She then walked to her desk where there were a few memos. Sitting down at her desk she relaxed and looked at the few pictures she had. She had one of her and Chuck on her wedding day and a few of them through college and on vacations. Reaching her hand into her bag she pulled out a frame that held a picture of herself, Chuck, and Katherine that was taken a few weeks prior. She smiled at the picture as she sat it on her desk. Suddenly her office door opened and her assistant Nadine walked in holding a giant binder.

"So everything from all the departments is in here and everything just needs your approval." Nadine said as she sat the binder down on the desk in front of Kaelyn. During her leave Kaelyn depended solely on Nadine who traveled for her, brought her files, and kept the office going while she wasn't there to keep her magazine in shape.

"Thank you Nadine." Kaelyn said as she opened the binder and pulled out a pen to start making her corrections. She knew it was going to take her a few hours to get through and it was good to help with her apprehension about not being with Katherine all day. "Nadine can you have an intern go to Starbucks for me to get me a low-fat Triple White Mocha with a single squirt of lite caramel?" Kaelyn asked.

"Yes ma'am." Nadine said as she made her way out of the office .

The day ended up being longer for Kaelyn than she expected as she made her way into the apartment nearly two hours later than she expected to be home. It was nearly 8 when she made it home and she was greeted by the Nanny who was holding Katherine.

"Hello Mrs. Bass, dinner is ready for you in the dining room." Georgia said as she handed Katherine to Kaelyn.

"Thank you." Kaelyn said as she rocked her baby girl in her arms. Katherine gave her a tiny smile as Kaelyn rocked her while humming a song. "Hey there little girl." She said as she looked down at Katherine who was giggling. Kaelyn smiled as she looked down at her baby who had light brown hair and soft green eyes. She rocked her a little more and Katherine started to fall asleep in her arms. "There you go." Kaelyn said with a smile down at the baby. Making her way into Katherine's room she put her down into her crib. Kaelyn kissed her forehead before pulling up the bar on the crib and walking out of the room and made her way to the dining room where her dinner was waiting.

She ate alone, but it was something that she was used to with Chuck being out of town so often. She took her fork and moved some of her food around her plate as she had no appetite. Going into her bedroom she took out a nightgown before going to take a hot bath. When she got out of the bath she got into bed alone. She hated sleeping alone, but she had gotten used to it and she curled up on her side of the bed and grabbed Chuck's pillow. Inhaling she could smell his scent and she smiled before drifting off to sleep.

Now sitting in her office on a new day Kaelyn had spent nearly the entire morning having conference calls. Her phone rang again and she groaned as she was tired of having these long meetings on the phone. She knew it was important or Nadine would have just taken a message and not sent the call through to her directly.

"Kaelyn Bass." She answered trying not to sound frustrated and tired.

"Tired already?" asked the voice on the other end and she knew right away it was Chuck.

"Honey, hi, you're in Japan?" she asked.

"Yeah I just made it to the hotel, but I have a meeting in an hour." He said with a groan.

"I've had conference calls all morning." Kaelyn said groaning herself.

"How's Kat?" Chuck asked.

"Good, she woke up last night at about 3 and I didn't get back to bed until 5, and basically only got an hour of sleep after that." Kaelyn said. "I think she was expecting you to come in her room when she cried."

"Yeah, well when you get home tell her that I love her." He said.

"Will do." Kaelyn said.

"And I love you." He said.

"I love you, too." Kaelyn said with a smile.

"Mrs. Bass the Chanel rep is on line two." Nadine said over the speaker.

"Sorry baby I have another conference call." Kaelyn said before making a kissing noise that Chuck returned.

"I will call you tonight your time." Chuck said.

"Alight tonight." Kaelyn said smiling to herself happy that she was married to such a wonderful man. Their call ended and Kaelyn quickly switched lines. "Kaelyn Bass." She said happily finally feeling better about her day.

**A/N:** Well then there it goes the first chapter, hope you enjoyed.


	2. Chapter 2

A/n:

**A/n:** Thanks for the reviews from **Bluebear48** and **singdane** for the first chapter. Well I was on a writing frenzy and now I am going to head to bed because I have work in the morning.

**Than To Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter Two**

Rolling over in bed Kaelyn woke up alone as she did every few weeks in Chuck was out of the country. Groaning she lifted herself up as she heard yells coming from the other room and she knew immediately they were from Katherine. Looking at the clock Kaelyn saw it was nearly 7 in the morning, but she was glad that it was Saturday and her office was closed. Sitting up she looked at the post-it on her nightstand. Chuck was coming back into the country that afternoon and as soon as he got back they had reservations at Kaelyn's favorite restaurant Xavion's so they could catch up. The last few weeks had been so busy for the both of them, but it was now July and they were out of their fiscal year and it was time to relax. She missed spending any alone time with Chuck. When they did get a moment it was before bed and in a matter of minutes they were both fast asleep.

"Hey baby girl." Kaelyn said to Katherine as she walked into the bedroom. On the weekends Georgia was off and she would leave the spend the weekend away, but she was going to sacrifice her Saturday night for Kaelyn and Chuck so they could spend time together. "Mommy is here don't cry." Kaelyn picked up Katherine and started to rock her.

Sitting in the dinning room Kaelyn sat with Katherine on her lap as she ate her own breakfast. The morning looked beautiful with the sun out and Kaelyn was considering taking Katherine out to the park for a walk. Humming to herself Kaelyn looked up as she saw a staff member coming to her with the phone.

"For you ma'am." She said as she handed Kaelyn the phone and picked up Kaelyn's now empty plate.

"Hello." Kaelyn said as she rocked Katherine on her knee.

"Hey babe." Chuck said.

"Hey, I am so ready for tonight." Kaelyn said happily.

"Umm that's why I'm calling." He started and Kaelyn suddenly felt her heart sink. "Well there were some mess-ups with the contracts and so I have to stay here until Wednesday to get the new contract drafted and everything sighed. I'm sorry."

"Seriously." Questioned Kaelyn who felt in her chest and throat like she wanted to cry, but she held it in. "Well I guess another time."

"Yeah, sorry." Chuck said as Katherine giggled. "Is that Kat?"

"Yeah she is on my lap." Kaelyn said softly.

"Well I love you both and I guess I will be home on Thursday." Chuck said.

"Thursday." Kaelyn repeated.

"Well I have to go, talk to you soon." He then hung up the phone and Kaelyn took it from her ear with a single tear falling down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away noting to herself that she was just going to have to get over it. She stood with Katherine in her arms and started to get ready for the day.

Walking through Central Park with Katherine in the stroller Kaelyn couldn't help, but feel sad that she wasn't going to be spending the evening the way she had been planning on for the last week. Finally she stopped and sat down on a bench. She took Katherine from the stroller and put her on her lap.

"Kay!" called out a voice and she looked to see Serena walked to her with a stroller. Serena finally made it to where Kaelyn was sitting and sat down next to her. "Hey girlie, so are you ready for your romantic evening?" Serena asked as she pulled out a little blonde baby boy from the stroller she had been pushing.

"Wish it was still on." Kaelyn said.

"What happened?" Serena asked.

"Chuck has to stay in Germany for nearly another week from some issues with the contract he was working on out there." Kaelyn explained as she looked to see the little boy reaching out for Katherine. "Hey there Will." She said to Serena's son William who was already one.

"Kay, Kay!" Will called out happily to Kaelyn.

"Yeah." Kaelyn said to the little boy who Katherine was just starring at before she burst into a fit of giggles. "I see your baby bump has grown." Kaelyn said pointing out Serena's growing stomach from now carrying her second child.

"Oh, my yes. I can now no longer fit those clothes I bought two weeks ago. I am so mad at that." Serena said as Will started to grab on her shirt. "Stop it William." She said to the little boy. "I stopped breast feeding last week and he assumes that is how he still gets his meals." She said as she reached into the stroller and pulled out a bottle.

"I had to stop with being at work all day. I wanted to keep going, but I couldn't leave the office just to come home to feed Kat." Kaelyn said as she rocked the baby girl who had just started to fuss. "I think it's to warm out here for her."

"Yeah it's pretty warm today." Serena commented. "Well we should have a girls night now. I can leave Will with Dan and we should hang out."

"Sounds fun, I need something to keep my mind off of missing Chuck. It has been driving me crazy." Kaelyn said as she started to strap Katherine into her stroller. "I still have the reservation at Xavions."

"Food great!" Serena said happily.

"Alright I will see you later then." Kaelyn said. The girls went their separate ways. Kaelyn walked back home. Once inside she fed Katherine a bottle who was really fussy and Kaelyn knew it was time to put her down for a nap. Walking into her own bedroom she sat on the bed alone and looked over to where they had shelves that contained pictures. There were plenty of pictures of the baby and of Kaelyn and Chuck. She stood and walked over to the pictures and picked up her favorite one. It was taken of her and Chuck on Christmas day when she spent their first Christmas married. She couldn't believe that they had nearly been married for seven years. She smiled down at the picture of them at only 18, but newlyweds and she wished she felt the same way now as she did then. Everything seemed so simple then with the two of them just in college and spending every moment they had together with no distractions, but now they had careers and a baby that kept them from spending all the time that they used to spend together. Even when they started in their careers they still had tons of time for spending time together, but once Katherine was born everything changed for them because they now had a child to take care of and spend time with.

Kaelyn felt a single tear fall down her cheek and she put the picture back before walking into the bathroom and pulling out a medicine bottle that contained anti-depressants. After their first year of marriage she had finally recovered from her dramatic experience at prom and she was finally off the medication, but after having Katherine she was starting to have those feeling again of feeling sad, alone, and just out right depressed that seemed to be taking her over and Chuck noticed it right away telling her to start seeing the doctor again and he immediately gave her the medication. Things had started to get better and she would sparingly take the medication, but in the moment she just felt sad and sad to a horrible extent. There was a glass next to the sink that she filled with water and she took down the pill. She then sat down on the bathroom floor and started to cry.

-

Walking into the restaurant Kaelyn received a wave from Serena and she made her way over to her. From the way Kaelyn had fixed up no one would ever know that inside she was feeling downright horrible. Pulling on her smile Kaelyn walked to the maître d' to inform them that she was there. They were immediately taken back to a table that was reserved for Kaelyn and Chuck, but Kaelyn called ahead and said she was bringing her husband instead of her husband.

"So Dan was cool with keeping Will?" Kaelyn asked as she sipped her wine and Serena sipped her water.

"Yeah, when I left he was on the couch with Will on his lap and watching some cartoon." Serena said with a smile.

"That's good." Kaelyn said as she looked around to see mostly couples sitting and enjoying their meals together giving one another lovey eyes. She quickly turned from them and focused her attention elsewhere.

"I hope this one is a girl." Serena said as she placed her hand on her stomach.

"Totally." Kaelyn answered nonchalantly. Sitting there she looked at the other couples again and a tear fell down her face.

"Kay, don't cry." Serena said as she noticed Kaelyn trying to quickly wipe her tears away.

"Sorry for damping the evening." Kaelyn said with a sniff.

"It's alright, everything is going to be alright. I'm sure things will get better between you and Chuck." Serena said.

"Hopefully. It's so annoying not spending time together and when we do lately it seems all we do is have some petty argument." Kaelyn said as she thought back to the last time they actually got to be alone that ended in them arguing and Chuck sleeping in the guest bedroom. Kaelyn wiped away another tear.

"You love each other and hey you made it seven years. I know you are going to make it through all of this." Serena said happily.

"Yeah." Kaelyn said as she took out her compact mirror to make sure her make-up didn't smudge from her crying. She gave a smile trying to feel better as she put her mirror away. The rest of the evening went a little better, but even without talk of the problems they still lingered in Kaelyn's mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews**: Bluebear48, DaleSnail, elle-xo, ericaa13**, and **singdance.**

**Than To Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter Three**

Sitting in the dinning room Kaelyn sat faced towards Katherine who was in her high chair. Dipping a spoon into a jar of baby food she fed Katherine who licked up every bit of food off of the spoon. As Kaelyn went to dip the spoon again Katherine reached her hands out and with a yelp she basically instructed Kaelyn to give her more. With a laugh Kaelyn hurried to give the baby girl more food. It was late in the evening and Kaelyn had been waiting for Chuck so they could eat dinner together so she waited feeding Katherine while letting her food get cold on the table. With a glance up at the clock Kaelyn let out a sigh and was suddenly interrupted by Katherine who let you another yelp.

"Alright I am hurrying." Kaleyn said sweetly to Katherine who opened her mouth quickly for the incoming spoon. After licking every bit off the spoon Katherine started to laugh as she clapped her hands together. Kaelyn noticed her to be looking past her and she turned to see Chuck making faces and holding a bouquet of yellow roses.

He walked into the room giving Kaelyn a smile and bending down to kiss her. Kaelyn kissed him back, but they were interrupted by Katherine who was ready for more food. "Just a second honey." Kaelyn said to the baby who sat with her hands reaching out for more food.

"For you." Chuck said as she handed Kaleyn the roses. "I'm sorry for yesterday and for being late tonight." He said. Kaelyn took the roses and smelled them with a smile she then sat them on the table.

"Thanks, I forg…"she was quickly cut off by Katherine letting out another yelp. Kaelyn rolled her eyes and quickly fed Katherine another spoon. "Sorry, I forgive you." She said sweetly to Chuck who now sat in the chair next to her and put his arms around her waist. "When I put Kat to bed we can have dinner _together_." Kaelyn said putting much emphasis on her last word.

"Sounds like a plan." Chuck said as he looked over Kaelyn's shoulder at the baby who was reaching out for her last spoon.

"Alright baby no more." Kaelyn said as she sat the spoon down and Katherine started to wine. "Come on let's get you cleaned up for bed." She said as she stood and pulled Katherine up from the highchair. "Night-Night Daddy." Kaelyn said as she walked to Chuck with Katherine in her arms.

"Good night baby." Chuck said as she kissed Katherine on the cheek. Katherine moved to kiss him on the cheek and left him with salvia all over his cheek. "Thank you." He said with a laugh. Kaelyn laughed also as she started to move towards the door.

Walking into the dining room Chuck sat waiting for Kaelyn who returned smiling. She sat back down where she had been sitting and looked noticing that her food wasn't there, but Chuck simply smiled. "It's being reheated."

"Thanks." She said as she went to sit, but was suddenly grabbed by Chuck who pulled her into his lap.

"I love you." He whispered in her ear before starting to kiss her neck.

"Mmm, I love you." Kaelyn said happily as she sat letting him kiss her neck. He moved so that their lips met. Kaelyn put her arms around his neck as they kissed passionately. Suddenly Kaelyn felt optimistic about their relationship because they hadn't spent a moment like that in a long time and she was happy they were finally getting it.

Sitting in the living room Kaelyn sat in Chuck's arms as they watched a movie. Turning to Chuck Kaelyn gave him a smile and kissed him quickly. "Thanks for tonight." She said.

"Your always welcome. We both needed it." He said before pulling her closer and kissing her passionately. Their kisses became more passionate and rushed as they lay together. Abruptly Chuck picked Kaelyn up and still kissing her carried her into the bedroom. Sitting her down on the bed he moved over her and pulled off her shirt while Kaelyn strugged to pull out her arms she quickly made it to his belt loosening it she quickly unbuttoned his pants and roughly grabbed to pull them off while he rode up her skirt. Reaching around he went to unhook bra.

Kaelyn was out of breath as she spoke. "Unhooks in the front." She said as he started planting kisses down her skin and unhooked her bra from the front. He moved kisses back to her lips as Kaelyn pulled off his shirt. He hurried and tore off her panties and suddenly there was an eruption of cries.

"Kat." Kaelyn said out of breath as she slipped from under Chuck and grabbed a robe. Throwing it around her she ran out of the room and down into Katherine's room where she sat up in her crib crying. "Hey baby mommy is here." Kaelyn said still out of breath as she picked Katherine up and started to rock her in her arms.

It took Kaelyn nearly thirty minutes to get Katherine back to sleep. Kaelyn walked back into the bedroom to find Chuck in bed fast asleep. She sighed and walked to the closet and pulled out a nightgown that she slipped on. She made her way to the bed and slipped in finding her way into Chuck's arms.

Waking up in the morning Kaelyn groaned as she turned her alarm off. Sitting up she saw Chuck who was standing at the closet in his underwear. "Morning." He said as he saw Kaelyn sitting up.

"Morning." Kaelyn said with a yawn as she slipped out of the bed and walked over to the closet. Standing on the tips of her toes she quickly kissed Chuck as she walked into her side to find something to wear to work.

"I was thinking that we both don't go into work today. I only have a meeting and I am pretty sure Nadine can supervise the photo shoot for you." He said as he walked over to Kaelyn and wrapped his arms around her waist. "My dad has been wanting to spend a day with his granddaughter, why not today?" he asked as she pulled her closer and pressed his lips to the skin of her neck.

"Sounds good." Kaelyn said happily turning to him and kissing him full on the lips.

"Great, Georgia has already taken Kat to the hotel." He said with a grin down at Kaelyn.

"Perfect." Kaelyn said before kissing him and putting her arms around his neck.

Getting out of the bed Kaelyn stretched as she slipped from Chuck's arms. Walking into the closet she pulled out a sundress and made her way into the bathroom. During on the shower she stepped inside and let the hot water run over her skin. All of a sudden she felt a hand on her waist and she saw Chuck getting into the shower pulling her body to his and moving her against the wall feeling all around her body. Kaelyn moaned against his touch before kissing him again.

Sitting in the dining room both Kaelyn and Chuck couldn't help, but smile in that they finally were spending time together. Kaelyn sat eating looking across the table at Chuck who glanced at her. "I think we should do this more often." Kaelyn suggested.

"It will be a couple months." Chuck said.

"A couple months?" Kaelyn asked setting her fork down next to her plate and looking at Chuck.

"Yeah this coming month I am going to be very busy and I was going to tell you, but I will be gone for an entire month after that." He said with a frown.

"Entire month?" Kaelyn questioned. "Wait…" she took a second and then looked at him. "What about our wedding anniversary?" she asked.

"I will try and be home." He answered. "I have to oversee the construction and remodeling of the hotel in Japan."

"You will try, are you serious?" Kaelyn asked looking at him angrily. "It is our anniversary, 8 years."

"Sorry." Chuck said and Kaelyn let out a noise of frustration. "So are you going to bitch about this the rest of the day?"

"Excuse me?" Kaelyn asked.

"You've already made it clear that you are going to bitch about it to me for the rest of the day and I am pretty sure until I go." Chuck said sitting back with is arms folded.

"That was so uncalled for. See this is what always happens. I am sick of this." Kaelyn said with a growl before standing and going to make her way out of the dinning room.

"Kaelyn don't go." Chuck said standing and walking to Kaelyn who starred at him from the door.

"I can't believe this. We can't even spend a whole day together. Chuck I really want to make this work and everything is making it so hard." Kaelyn said feeling tears in her eyes.

"Kay, I'm sorry. I love you and I am trying ways to make it work." He said as he went to put his arms around her. Kaelyn started to cry as he held her.

"It's so hard. I've been trying to not take the meds, but when I don't everything seems to crash done and I just feel so horrible and sad and hopeless…" Kaelyn stopped as she choked on a sob.

Chuck pulled her in to hold her tight. "Everything is going to get better I promise." He said. "Let's go for a walk." He whispered and Kaelyn nodded as she wiped away her tears.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N:

**A/N:** Hey so I noticed a huge mess-up in my time line that I totally apologize for in case you got confused. In a chapter I said it was the end of the fiscal year which would be June 30 and then later when I did the anniversary missing chapter I noticed that they got married on July 18th and so I was off by a couple months in the math, but oh well still the same story.

Thanks for the reviews!: **Bluebear48** and **singdance**.

**Than To Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter Four**

Sitting with a bouncing Katherine on her lap Kaelyn sat at the Forth of July barbeque that was being put on by Serena and Dan. Putting on a happy face Kaelyn sat while Katherine continued to bounce up and down on her lap as the music played. Kaelyn couldn't help, but laugh at Katherine who at only nine months was trying to dance. Giving her baby a kiss on the cheek Kaelyn sat Katherine on the blanket where Serena's son William was playing with Blair's eleven month old son Dominic. Kaelyn watched at Katherine crawled over to Will and grabbed the ball that was in front of him. She then looked up as she saw Serena walking over. Serena sat down next to her.

"Isn't the roof a good place for a picnic?" Serena questioned as she looked around at everyone who had showed up for the picnic.

"Perfect." Kaelyn said with a forced smile thinking about how she and Chuck ended things the day he left. They had gotten into a huge fight and Chuck walked out with his bags for Japan and he hadn't called her since.

"William don't." Serena instructed to William who had started to poke at Katherine who then started to wine.

"It's okay baby." Kaelyn said as she picked up Katherine who snuggled into her arms and Kaelyn sore that the little girl had shot William a dirty look.

"This is the prime spot to see the fireworks tonight." Lily said as she walked over to the girls with a martini in hand. Sitting down on the opposite side of Kaelyn she sat down her martini and picked up Katherine from Kaelyn's arms. "Hey there little one." Katherine let out a giggled and suddenly grabbed at Lily's earrings. "No, no baby not for you." Kaelyn smiled and suddenly she felt her cell phone vibrate in her jeans pocket. Pulling it out she noticed it was Chuck and she quickly stood and walked away into a corner by herself.

"Hey." She said as she answered.

"Hi I wanted to wish you and Kat a happy forth. So what are you two up to?" he asked.

"I'm at Serena and Dan's for their picnic barbeque." Answered Kaelyn who leaned against the wall.

"Have fun." He said.

"I wish I was." Kaelyn said with a sigh.

"Kay seriously I am sick of you trying to make be feel bad about it. I already feel horrible." He then snapped quickly at her.

"Who said I was trying to make you feel bad." Kaelyn snapped back quickly as she stood with her hands on her hips.

"You whine and complain and I told you I have no power over the fact that I have to be here." He said.

"I did not whine to you. I just said I wish I was having fun that is it." Kaelyn growled.

"I just called to wish you and our daughter a good day and you are picking an argument." He said.

"I didn't pick an argument!" yelled Kaelyn.

"You started it with your whining and making me feel like the bad guy when all I am trying to do is keep a stable life for you and Katherine." He said.

"I wasn't whining. You keep doing this to me!" Kaelyn was trying to hold back her tears.

"There I go again the bad guy…you know what fuck this." He said.

"Fuck you!" Kaelyn yelled as she snapped the phone closed. Turning around she saw a few of the guests looking at her. "I'm sorry." She said quickly as she rushed past a few people.

"Kaelyn!" Both Lily and Serena called as Kaelyn rushed past and into the building. Her breathing was hard as she paced the hall. The door opened and Serena rushed in with Lily not far behind her still holding Katherine.

"Kay." Serena said as she grabbed Kaelyn to stop her from pacing. Kaelyn had tears falling down her face.

"All we do now is fight." Kaelyn sobbed. "I don't want to fight I just want to be happy and that isn't happening right now."

"Everything is going to work its way out." Lily said and suddenly Kaelyn felt her phone in her hand she looked to see it was Chuck calling back.

"What!" she answered the phone agitated.

"I was calling to say I am sorry, but I guess you don't want to hear it then." Chuck said frustrated.

"No I don't." Kaelyn said as she tried to stay calm. "I just don't want to fight like this anymore. It's driving me crazy."

"You, it's driving me crazy." Chuck said.

"Then just stop picking fights with me." Kaelyn pleaded.

"I'm not." He said.

"Come on yes your are and you won't admit it." Kaelyn said.

"You keep whining trying to make me feel bad for providing for my family." He growled.

"Dammit Chuck just stop!" Kaelyn yelled as she stomped her foot and tried to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"I'm done with this conversation. I will call you when I get the time." He said and then there was a click. Kaelyn closed her phone and sat down on a chair.

"It just won't stop." She cried into her hands. Serena quickly sat down next to her and put an arm around her.

"Ah." Katherine called as she reached her hands down towards Kaelyn.

Kaelyn looked up and pulled Katherine from Lily's arms and held onto her. "Mommy is okay." She said as she tried to breathe and stop crying as she held Katherine who had started to play with her necklace.

"The fireworks are about to start." Dan called into the hall where they sat.

"Let's go." Kaelyn said as she stood with Katherine in her arms.

"You sure you're okay?" Lily asked.

"I am not going to be any better." Kaleyn said with a shrug as she walked towards the door with Serena and Lily following her. It was a few moments and suddenly the night sky was lit with sparkles of various colors. Kaelyn looked down at Katherine in her arms who starred at the sky and squealed at every firework. "Oh look another." Kaelyn pointed out in her fake cheerful voice as she looked at Katherine who was so happy and she had no idea what was going on around her, but in every moment she was a happy little girl and Kaelyn wanted to keep it that way.

-

Kaelyn sat in a lounge chair with her eyes closed and she opened them again as she sat in the office of her psychiatrist Dr. Ross who sat with a clipboard taking notes on what she said. Kaelyn had tears going down her face as she sat explaining to the doctor about how she felt the night before when she considered committing suicide.

"Where were you when you got the thoughts?" Dr. Ross asked.

"At home." Kaelyn answered.

"Who was there in the house and where?" Dr. Ross asked.

"My daughter was with the nanny in her room, the kitchen staff was cleaning up in the kitchen, and the live-in maid had finished for the night and was in her own room." Kaelyn answered as she closed her eyes again remembering everything vividly as she sat in her nightgown at the foot of the bed crying.

"How were you going to do it?" Dr. Ross asked after he finished taking his notes.

"I really wasn't sure. I just wanted all the pain to end." Kaelyn said.

"It seems in the past month your depression continues to get worse. You aren't just suffering from your depression that you had previously diagnosed with, but also postpartum depression so I am going to add another medication that should help, but remember you have my number if you have these thoughts and need to talk I am available 24-7 and so is your psychologist Dr. Guidham and you can also call her. You need to get to the root of her problems and I want you to start a diary or just a place for you to vent. It will be private and I won't have you bring it in, but I need you to try." Dr. Ross explained.

"Alright thank you." Kaelyn said as she wiped her face with the tissue.

Walking alone Kaelyn stopped in a small stationary store and picked up a composition notebook that she knew she could use to write in. She had looked in her bag and pulled out the car to a marriage counselor that she had found in the building where she went for her appointments and she was going to suggest to Chuck when he got home that they go. As she walked through Times Square she saw the date and realized it was July 18th her wedding anniversary. She inhaled to keep herself from crying as she kept walking. She hadn't spoken to Chuck since their argument on the 4th and she was so afraid to talk to him in fear of another fight. Making it to where her office was located she took the elevator up to her floor. She first stopped at Nadine to pick up her messages before walking into her office that was filled with roses. Then she looked to her desk and her chair turned and Chuck sat in her desk chair with a smile on his face.

"I told you that I would try." He said as he stood and was nearly tackled by Kaelyn who had tears in her eyes as she ran to him and hugged him.

"Thank you." She cried.

"I don't have much time, but I wanted to be here since it means a lot." He said as he ran his fingers through her hair before lifting her chin and giving her a kiss. "I love you and Happy anniversary."

"Happy Anniversary!" Kaelyn said happily before she then kissed him and snuggled into his chest. She was happier than she had been in a long time as she stood there with him, but in the back of her mind she worried about if they would argue or not.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N:

**A/N**: Thanks for the reviews in Chapter 4: **singdance, DaleSnail**, and **Nelle07**.

**Than To Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter Five**

Walking out of Katherine's room Kaelyn gave one last look at her sleeping daughter before quietly making her way up the hall towards the bedroom that she and Chuck shared. As she neared the room she could hear him talking on the phone and laughing. Making a stop first in her office she picked up the small pile of pictures that she had on her desk as well as a large scrapbook and a box. Making her way out of the office she could have sworn she heard Chuck making kissing noises, but she just rolled her eyes and laughed to herself.

"Yeah, later we will. I'm excited too…Can't wait…silly…Mmm…Yeah she is putting Kat down…just for us." Kaelyn could only hear snippets of his conversation as she togged her full arms of things towards the room. As soon as she entered the room his relaxed conversation suddenly turned rigid and un-relaxed. "Yeah, just get me those files soon…yes…alright then…I will see you at the office, bye." He said before hanging up his phone.

"Who was that?" Kaelyn asked as she sat her things down on the bed.

"Amber, my assistant." He quickly answered as he turned his cell phone off.

"Late for a business call." Commented Kaelyn as she sat on the bed Indian style and opened the book and the box. She started to shift through the pictures. They had started the marriage counseling and one thing they had gone over was to not have business calls after ten so they could try and spend that time together or with Katherine. Kaelyn had noticed that since they started counseling that their arguments had become left often even though they still happened.

"There were some things that needed to be taken care of." He then said.

"Oh." Kaelyn commented as she started to pull out some of the pictures from the pile. "It's alright."

Chuck sat closer and looked over Kaelyn's shoulder. "What's this?" he asked.

"Newer pictures of Kat for the scrapbook." Kaelyn said happily as she turned and looked at him. She quickly kissed him before turning back to the book.

Chuck then looped and arm around her waist. "You and your scrapbooks." He commented with a laugh. "So we are still going to my father's party tomorrow?" he asked.

"Of course." Kaelyn answered as she pulled out a glue-stick from the box and started to glue one of the pictures that was of Katherine and William at the park.

"When did you take these pictures?" Chuck asked as he started to go through the pile. "I don't remember this stuff."

"Because you weren't here." Kaelyn simply commented as she stuck the picture into the book. "Couple months ago when you were in Japan."

"Gott'cha." Chuck answered as he continued to go through the pictures.

"So next month is Kat's birthday and we have to plan something." Kaelyn said as she put glue on another picture.

"Definitely." He said as he moved to kiss Kaelyn on the neck. Kaelyn laughed at the feeling of his lips on her skin as he continued to kiss her and then suddenly the kisses stopped. "Look at the time."

"Oh, wow it's pretty late. We better get to sleep." Kaelyn said as she started to pack away her scrapbook supplies. She got off the bed and moved the supplies to the dresser before slipping under the blankets and turning off the light. She felt Chuck's arms around her and she snuggled into his body before falling fast asleep. From where she stood she felt like they were being repaired and things were going back to how they used to be.

-

_Returning from class Kaelyn walked into the house to find Chuck sitting on the couch with his books. She smiled and walked over to him where she sat down next to him. He looked up and smiled before putting down his book and leaning over to kiss her. Kaelyn wrapped her arms around his neck as she lied down letting him continue to kiss her. He then pulled away and looked down at her smiling._

"_How was your day?" he asked._

"_Boring." Kaelyn answered. "I hate economics class."_

"_I can tutor you." He suggested with a smirk._

"_Really now?" Kaelyn asked smiling up at him. "Well the Mr. Tutor teach me what I need to know."_

"_First we start with the bare facts." He said as he started to pull off the shirt that she was wearing. Kaelyn moved to let him finish pulling off her shirt. Kaelyn let her fingers move as she unbuttoned his and then ran her hands down his bare chest._

"_I'm so happy with you." She commented with a smile before kissing him quickly. _

"_I would do anything than to ever live without you." He said before kissing her. "I love you." He whispered against her lips._

-

Standing in the elevator Chuck stood with his arms around Kaleyn's waist as they stood dressed fro the party. The elevator opened and there was the party before them. Walking out they were immediately greeted by family friends who were standing near. Kaelyn gave a small wave as she saw Serena and Dan in a corner talking to Blair and her newest of her last 3 husbands Timothy. Chuck and Kaelyn made their way over to the two couples who were standing in the corner. As they passed a waiter Kaelyn and Chuck both took glasses of champagne before joining their friends.

"Hey." Kaelyn said happily as she stood in her emerald green dress that was specifically designed for her.

"You look great." Blair commented.

"Thanks." Kaelyn said, but before anyone else could say anything Mr. Bass had approached them.

"Charles, Kaelyn I am so glad you came, now where is my granddaughter?" he asked.

"She's at home with the nanny." Chuck answered.

"The nanny." Mr. Bass questioned. "I thought you would bring her."

"Not this time, but I will bring her over sometime this week." Kaelyn said happily.

"Perfect. Enjoy the party. I have to greet more guests." He said before quickly moving away and joining another small group.

"There she is." Chuck said and then Kaelyn turned to see he was talking about his assistant Amber who had walked into the party in a very short and very low cut simple black dress. "You look beautiful." He said as he gave her a hug. Kaelyn looked confused for one fact that his assistant was there and for another than he had told her she looked beautiful and he hadn't commented at all on Kaelyn not even at home before they left to the party.

"Thank you." She said with a smile and then she looked at Kaelyn. "Hey I didn't think you would be here."

"Why?" Kaelyn asked sweetly.

"Thought you would be home with little Kat." Amber said as she kept her arm around Chuck from when they had hugged.

"No she is with the nanny." Kaelyn said as her eyes wandered watching the very chemistry filled attitudes of Chuck and Amber.

Sitting in on the balcony Serena and Kaelyn sat talking with Blair while their husbands had gone off somewhere else. Kaelyn hadn't seen Chuck in nearly an hour, but then she finally spotted him walking down a hallway with Amber right next to him both of them laughing. She watched as they made their way into a corner talking. Looking away she tried to focus on the conversation that Serena and Blair were in.

"So Jenny and Nate finally got engaged." Serena said happily. "Jenny called Dan this morning."

"That's wonderful." Blair commented.

"Great." Kaelyn commented as well, but her attention then returned inside to Chuck and Amber and she let out a gasp as she sat him run his hand down her arm and then settle on her waist and from the distance she was at she could have sworn that he pulled her closer to him.

"What?" Serena asked.

"I've got to go." Kaelyn then said as she quickly stood and made her way off the balcony and into the room. She walked past Chuck and quickly to the elevator. Inside she felt nauseated and she had tears in her eyes that she was doing everything in her power to hold in. She quickly started to press the button to get on the elevator when she felt a hand on her waist and she turned to see Chuck.

"Babe what's up?" he asked as he pulled her close.

"I..umm…don't feel well. I think I had a little too much to drink." She said quickly as she put her head on his chest trying to hold in her tears and act as if she didn't see the two of them.

"Yeah maybe and it's getting pretty late. I will get my jacket and we can head home." He said as he ran his fingers through her hair. Kaelyn simply nodded as he walked to get his coat. She saw him get his coat and then stand for a second in the corner talking in a hushed manner with Amber to gave Kaelyn a quick glance before turning back to Chuck. Chuck then left Amber there and made his way to Kaelyn where the elevator had opened. Kaelyn stood silently in the elevator as she held in her tears.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thanks for the Chapter 5 reviews: singdance and bluebear48

**A/N:** Thanks for the Chapter 5 reviews: **singdance **and **bluebear48**.

_**Than To Ever Live Without You**_

**Chapter Six**

Putting two ponytails into Katherine's hair was beginning to be a challenge for Kaelyn because Katherine continued to wiggle and move around everywhere while she tried to get them straight. Kaelyn finally finished the last ponytail and looked at Katherine who had found Chuck's cell phone and was pressing buttons. The two of them were waiting for Chuck to get out of the shower so they could have a picnic lunch. As part of spending more time they tried to find family things they could do so they could include Katherine and not always have to look for a nanny on the weekends when Georgia wasn't available. Kaelyn pulled the phone from Katherine's tiny hands and went to close it when she noticed it was open to the text messages and a message had been opened by Katherine.

'I Miss u.' the message simply said. Kaelyn was now curious to who would be sending Chuck a message like that and she looked to see it had come from Amber. Suddenly Kaelyn's fears had started to attack her mind. She then went to see if Chuck had responded and he in fact had with, 'Miss u too.' Then she looked to see that response and she opened the messaged to see their back and forth messages all in front of her.

Amber – Sneak away, I need u

Chuck – Can't picnic with Kay

Amber – Sucks

Chuck – Yeah, but she wants it

Amber – Just leave her

Chuck – I'm not too sure yet

Amber – I'm there for u

Chuck – Yes u are

Amber – Tonite try and get away

Chuck – I will

Amber – I'll be waiting

Chuck – Sounds sexy

Amber – Very

Kaelyn suddenly closed the phone as she heard the bathroom door open and she sat it on the bed. She picked up Katherine and walked into the living room trying to hold in her tears. She had suspected something was going on between them, but she didn't wan to believe it. She choked out a sob and then she suddenly covered her mouth as she sat Katherine in her play pen and ran into the guest bathroom. Whipping her face she looked in the mirror. Suddenly she now felt that her life was falling apart.

-

_Kaelyn sat in Chuck's arms as they did everyday when he returned home from work. They had only been out of college for a few months and Chuck was working for his dad trying to work his way up in the company and Kaelyn had gotten a few freelance writing and reporting jobs, but she didn't have a stable everyday work schedule and Chuck was glad she didn't. They had talked about her not actually working and staying home. They had recently been talking about having kids and Kaelyn being home being for the best. Kaelyn turned to Chuck and kissed the tip of his nose._

"_I want to go somewhere." She then said as she turned her body to face his._

"_Where?" he questioned as he moved a strain of her hair from her face._

"_Anywhere, just you and me." She said happily before moving her face closer to his to kiss him. "Somewhere fun, but relaxing."_

"_Fiji." Chuck suggested. "You know my dad owns the house out there with the private beach…We can have all the sex on the beach that we want." He said with a wink._

_Kaelyn burst into laugher before sitting up and straddling his lap. "That sounds nice, but we've gone to Fiji so many times. I was thinking more like Italy. I love it there."_

"_You wish is my command." Chuck said looking up at her as she pulled her hair back and put it in a ponytail._

"_Let's go tomorrow." Kaelyn then said._

"_For you anytime." He said as he sat up and pulled her too him giving her a kiss._

-

The family had returned home from the park and they went in the bedroom. While sitting on the bed with Chuck and Kaelyn, Katherine had fallen asleep. Kaelyn looked at Chuck who was sitting up with his cell phone texting. In the back of her mind she knew it had to be Amber. She looked down at Katherine who was sucking her thumb while laying on the bed between Kaelyn and Chuck.

"We should go on vacation." Kaelyn then said as she turned to Chuck who quickly closed his phone and looked to Kaelyn.

"Vacation?" he questioned.

"Yes, maybe the place in Fiji we used to go all the time." Kaelyn said happily. "Aunt Lily wouldn't mind keeping Kat for a few days and we could go away just the two of us."

"No can do." He then said as he opened his phone again.

"Why?" Kaelyn suddenly asked.

"Work." He simply said. "And this is work now. Kay I'm going to have to skip out and go to the office. I'll try and be home before its late." He said as he got out of the bed and put on his shoes and jacket.

"Honey." Kaelyn started as she also stood and went to walk to him. "Wha…" but she was quickly cut off.

"It's important." He said as he started towards the door and Kaelyn could no longer old it in.

"Amber sure is important to you then." Kaelyn finally said and Chuck turned around looking at her.

"Excuse me?" he questioned.

"You are sleeping with her." Kaelyn pointed out trying to stay calm.

"What?" Chuck questioned with a slight laugh.

"I've seen you two together. I hear you on the phone and I saw the text messages from this morning. I know you are going to see her." Kaelyn said with a tear finally finding it's way down her face.

"Yeah, then I am sleeping with her." He then admitted in a calm manner that took Kaelyn aback.

She covered her mouth and stood starring at him. "Why?" she asked.

"I'm around her more than you. We got a little more than friendly in Japan, that's all I can say." He said.

"Babe…" Kaelyn didn't know what to see as the tears were falling.

"Kay." Chuck walked to Kaelyn and pulled her towards the bed where he sat her down and sat next to her. "I've been thinking about it and we need a break."

"A break?" Kaelyn questioned.

"Yeah like a separation." He answered.

"Separate, what about Katherine Chuck?" Kaelyn questioned now not sure if she was more angry than sad.

"We will work that all out." He answered.

"You're leaving me?" Kaelyn questioned.

"We aren't getting a divorce Kay. We can still work things out I am just saying we need to break for a bit. Get our priorities straight." He explained.

"Oh God." Was all Kaelyn could say in response. "Just leave." She then said.

"Alright, I will send someone for my things tomorrow. I love you Kay, I really do, but we really need to work out our priorities" He said as he stood and walked out of the room leaving Kaelyn by herself as she sat on the bed and cried.

-

"Mama!" Katherine let out a cry as Kaelyn had walked by the playpen in the living room.

A few days had passed and Chuck had sent someone for his things. Apparently he moved into The Palace and was still seeing Amber who from what Kaelyn heard was always in his suite. Things had been rough on Kaelyn who didn't know what to do with herself so Lily had come to stay with her. Kaelyn still had a professional life to maintain even though her personal life was falling apart. She conducted meetings over the phone so she wouldn't have go to into the office.

"Kaelyn you need to get out." Lily said as she looked at Kaelyn who sat in her bathrobe on the couch. Her eyes were red and there were rings around her eyes from all the sleepless nights where she spent them crying.

"I can't." Kaelyn answered with tears falling down her face. "I can't." she then cried as she put her hands over her face and started to sob. "He left me."

"Mama!" Katherine called out again as she had pulled herself up standing in the pen with her arms up for Kaelyn to pick her up.

Lily rushed over to Kaelyn and grabbed her into a hug. Kaelyn sobbed onto her shoulder. "He left me…He left me…Aunt Lily he left me." She cried over and over again as everything continued to replay over and over in her mind. "I don't know what to do now. I feel like I've been hit by a car. The pain it's just too much. …I have no life without him."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews: **singdance**, **hockeygrl125**, **bluebear48**, **DaleSnail**, and **Nelle07**. And **Nelle07** I totally agree with you and it's funny I had planned what your review initialed for this chapter already.

**Than To Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter Seven**

The weeks passed slowly for Kaelyn. Still she and Chuck were separated, but she had to find herself back into her professional life. She couldn't maintain her magazine by staying at home and she had to find her way back to the office to keep her business running. About twice a week when Chuck was in town Georgia would take Katherine to see him, but he and Kaelyn only saw one another in their counseling sessions that he did decide to keep going to and that made Kaelyn optimistic that they could last even though he was still with Amber. Kaelyn was extremely angry at him at the moment for missing Katherine's birthday party. The morning of the party he called and said he was on a flight to London and would be missing it.

Sitting at her desk Kaelyn was signing off on the December issue of the magazine and making any changes. She looked out the window to see the rain falling down. With a sigh she put her arms around herself as her mind wandered to her marriage. She had been so unhappy, but the only thing keeping her together was Katherine. Everything was going on around her, but it didn't seem to phase Katherine at all and that kept Kaelyn going. Sitting there her office door opened and Nadine walked inside holding a few folders that she sat on Kaelyn's desk.

"Mrs. Bass the photographer is downstairs." Nadine announced to her.

"Thanks." Kaelyn said as she put a marker in the page she was on and closed the binder before standing. Everytime she was called Mrs. Bass she thought about her marriage and it hurt to much to think that it might not be a reality anymore and she would have to go back to being Kaelyn Ryan.

Making her way down a floor she went into where her magazine did all of their photo shoots. They were now doing the cover for the December issue. They were shooting a cover with one of the biggest supermodels around these days Francesca Kamani. Kaelyn had just hired a new photographer to do work for the magazine and it was going to be her first time meeting him. She had hired him over the phone when she was going though her moments where she refused to leave her house. Walking into the studio she walked down to see a man standing over a table that contained a camera and a laptop.

"You must be Damien." Kaelyn said putting on a smile as she walked towards the table and he turned around. Kaleyn was taken aback by his appearance. In her mind she could only describe him as simply sexy. He wore a button up navy blue short sleeved shirt that was unbuttoned with a tight white T-shirt underneath that clearly showed his sculpted chest and stomach. "Hi." Kaelyn then breathed.

"Kaelyn Bass a pleasure to finally meet you in person." Damien said as he took Kaelyn by the hand and left a kiss on her hand.

"You two." Was all Kaelyn had managed out before she turned away to keep herself from blushing. She then walked over to where the shoot was taking place and she saw the model getting made-up. Kaelyn then walked towards where Nadine was standing.

"Is something wrong ma'am?" Nadine asked.

"No it's perfect." Kaelyn said as she stood and watched as the shoot got underway. She watched Damien's every move as he jumped around the room with his camera taking pictures of Francesca. Watching she smiled to herself and thinking things that as a married woman she shouldn't. Quickly she then scolded herself.

She sat in her office finishing the last of her corrections to the December issue when there was a knock at her office door. "Come in!" she called as she sat biting her lip as she looked at the binder. Her door opened and she looked up to see Damien walking into the office. Kaelyn gasped quietly as she saw him making his way towards her desk.

"I have all the pictures for you." He said as he pulled out a large envelope and sat it on her desk.

"Thanks." She said giving a small smile. Kaelyn looked him up and down and then quickly looked away.

"Your pictures fell." Damien stated as he looked at the frames on Kaelyn's desk that were turned down and started to pick them up.

"I did that on purpose." Kaelyn said quickly.

"Why?" he asked as he picked one up and at it.

"It's of me and my husband." Kaelyn answered.

"And that's a bad thing?" questioned Damien.

"Problems, but I don't talk about personal stuff in the office." Kaelyn said giving a small smile.

"Well we should leave the office. How about I take you to lunch?" Damien asked giving Kaelyn his sexy smile that made her melt inside.

"I don't have the time." Kaelyn said.

"Of course you do. Come on." He said as he continued to smile.

"Alright, alright." She said giving him a smile and closing the binder in front of her. Standing she walked around the desk and to him

Damien and Kaelyn sat at a café talking. He had asked her all about her and Chuck and she told him feeling good that she had someone to talk to about it. She couldn't figure out at all how he got her to open up to him especially with him basically being a stranger, but she assumed that its why she opened up because he was a stranger and no someone who has known her and Chuck.

"No idea how you got me to open up, but thanks. I really needed that." Kaelyn said happily as she took a sip of her latte. She was surprised in fact that she was even happy for once. It has been a long time since she actually felt like she was a little happy inside.

"No problem, so have you thought of dating other people while separated?" he asked as he sat back in his seat with his shirt still open. Kaelyn cursed herself for starring at his chest that was cearly seen even though he wore a white shirt. She quickly looked back at his face.

"Nope. I've really just been waiting and hoping that he comes to his senses soon." She answered as she tried to keep her eyes on his face and not wander at his body.

"You should try and date. It might help and keep you happy." Damien suggested. Kaelyn simply took a sip of her latte and shook her head.

"I wouldn't know where to start. I've been with him for 10 years, the first two were on and off, but after we got married 8 years ago it's just been him and I. I really have no knowledge of dating at all anymore and I wouldn't know who to date or even try and start dating." Kaelyn explained as she thought back to the last guy she had dated besides Chuck and that had been Ian back in high school. The guy she thought was super sweet who ended up brutally raping her at Senior Prom and then killing himself because of her. Kaelyn quickly vanished those thoughts not wanting to ever think about that time because the pain and sadness she had then was almost like what she was feeling now.

"Try me." Damian said giving her a wink.

"Excuse me?" questioned Kaelyn as she tried to not choke on her drink.

"Date me, just try. It will be fun." He said as he took a hand and ran it over hers that was on the table. "Please."

"I, really…" Kaelyn was lost she didn't know what to say about even dating someone and then him.

"You really want to and you think tonight would be great in fact and I will pick you up from home and we will have dinner and enjoy ourselves." He said simply as he then took her hand in his. Kaelyn was speechless as she sat there and all she could do was nod on response to his proposition.

Kaelyn stood in the closet starring at all of her clothes and out of everything she couldn't find a single thing to wear on her date. She hadn't even thought of ever going on a date with anyone and now she was and being faced with this scared her half to death. She pulled out three dressed and walked into her bedroom where both Serena and Blair sat waiting for her choice. Kaelyn put the front dress in front of her and both girls shook their heads. Then the second and the same response came. She finally took out the third that she really didn't even like in the first place because for her it seemed too short and too low. It actually was Chuck's favorite dress on her because it grabbed at her curves and he loved every time she wore it.

"Perfect!" Serena said as Kaelyn held up the last dress.

"Seriously?" Kaelyn asked as she made a face at the dress.

"It's a little sexy, but just right. You are back on the market and you want it to show." Blair said.

"I'm not on the market. It's just one date because he feels sorry for me." Kaelyn said as she sat the dress on her bed. "It's more like dinner with someone from work."

"It's a date." Serena then said.

"You told us your conversation. It is a date." Blair then said.

"I'm so scared and I feel wrong doing this with dating and being married." Kaelyn said as she started biting her nails.

"Don't bite." Serena said as she snatched Kaelyn's hand from her mouth.

"So what about dating. You are separated, plus Chuck is fucking that Amber girl you have every right to go on a date." Blair said as she started going through Kaelyn's jewelry to find something to go with the dress.

"Agreed with Blair." Serena said as she took Kaelyn's hand and pulled off her wedding ring.

"What are you doing?" snapped Kaelyn.

"You are going on a date. Seriously this needs to be off." Serena said as she tossed the ring into Kaelyn's jewelry box.

"But." Kaelyn said in protest.

"No buts." Blair said.

Stepping out of the elevator Kaelyn saw Damien standing in the lobby waiting for her. He greeted her with a bouquet of tulips that looked extremely fresh.

"These aren't in season how did you get them?" Kaelyn as she as she observed the beautiful flowers.

"Special order just for you." Damien said.

"Thanks they are beautiful." Kaelyn said before walking to the doorman. "Have these sent up to my apartment to be put in water." Kaelyn instructed.

"Yes, Mrs. Bass." The doorman said. Kaelyn shuddered for a moment to be called that and be on a date with another man.

"Ready?" Damien asked.

"More than." Kaelyn responded.

Walking out of the restaurant together Kaelyn couldn't help, but smile. The entire dinner was perfect especially being that it was at her favorite restaurant. She walked down the street with a smile on her face as Damien held an arm around her waist. They walked for a few blocks just enjoying the city. It was something that Kaelyn and Chuck would occasionally do, but they hadn't done it in over a year and with Damien, Kaelyn seemed to enjoy it a little more. They stopped back at the apartment building where they stood for a moment in silence.

"Thanks." Kaelyn said in breaking the silence. "I had the best time."

"I'm glad. It's good to see you smile." He said as he ran a thumb over Kaelyn's cheek and all she could do was smile. "I'll call you tomorrow. We have to do this again."

"Definitely." Kaelyn said happily.

She then felt his hand move to her shoulder and down her arm where it then settled on her waist. He pulled her closer to him. Kaelyn felt his breath on her face and she felt faint for a second, but she held her composure. His lips then inched towards her. She suddenly wanted to pull away, but her body wouldn't let her as he neared and their lips finally touched. As he kissed her Kaelyn moved her arms where they settled on his shoulders. The kiss got a little more passionate and then Kaelyn moved away.

"I'm sorry." Damien said.

"No, no, it's alright." Kaelyn said as she felt her cheeks warming up. Damien then moved in and kiss her again, but not as strong and for only a quick moment.

"I'll call you." He whispered against her lips giving them a slight lick.

"Alright." Kaelyn breathed. He then kissed her again before moving away. Kaelyn gave a small wave before walking into her building and making it up to her quiet apartment. She walked in to find that Georgia had fallen asleep on the rocking chair in Katherine's room. Slipping away and down the hall Kaelyn made her way to her bedroom where she sat down on her bed shocked. She couldn't believe that she had had such a wonderful night with a man. She wanted more and she expected more.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Thanks a ton for the reviews from…**bluebear48** and **Nelle07**.

_**Than to Ever Live Without You**_

**Chapter Eight**

Laughing Kaelyn sat in her office with Blair as they ate frozen yogurt and talked. It was funny how things worked out with Kaelyn and Blair who had been mortal enemies in High School and were now like the best of friends. Kaelyn and Chuck were home for Christmas during their Junior year of college and Kaelyn had run into Blair and they then reconciled their differences. From then they had become very good friends who did so much together and were always there for one another. It was a lot better for Serena who now didn't always have to pick between them and could spend time with both of them having no problems at all.

"Remember in High School when we went to the Hamptons weekend and you attacked me over Chuck?" Blair asked as she ate a spoon of her yogurt.

"Can I ever forget that?" Kaelyn said with a laugh.

"I know you seriously had my air supply cut off in that moment when you were choking me. I say we find this Amber whore and I hold her down while you put your death grip on her neck." Blair simply stated.

Kaelyn laughed on response. "I seriously don't have the energy to fight her for him now like I fought for him with you."

"Hey I was a bitch." Blair said before taking another spoon of yogurt. "She's even more of a bitch."

Before Kaelyn could respond Nadine was on the speaker. "Mrs. Bass, Mr. Martin is on his way up."

"I see you lover is on his way." Blair said as she stood and started cleaning up where she sat.

"I'm leaving work early so we can hang out and he is going to help me Christmas shop." Kaelyn said in response. It had been a few weeks since Kaelyn and Damien's first date and they had quite a few after that one. She was really starting to warm up to him and she enjoyed all the time that she spent with him. Everyone around her was extremely supportive also and it helped with her decision to continue dating him.

"Awe. Well I will be on my way. Call you later." Blair said as she gave Kaelyn a quick hug and skipped out of the office in order to be gone before Damien arrived.

Kaelyn walked back to her desk and started putting away paperwork when her door opened and Damien stood in the doorway with a smile. Kaelyn looked up and returned the smiled before walking to him and putting her arms around his neck as his looped around her waist. They stood kissing for a second and then Kaelyn found her way out of his arms to grab her purse from her desk.

"I'm ready." She said as she walked to where he was and he put am arm around her waist as they exited the office together.

"You look beautiful today." He whispered into her ear as they got into the elevator.

"Thank you." Kaelyn said with a blush. Dating was all new to her again and she felt fantastic. He always made her blush like a little girl whenever they were together. She hadn't felt that cared for in a long time. It was like when she and Chuck had first started to date, but as the years had gone by in their marriage he had slacked on the way he used to treat her. Damien treated her like a princess in everything they did the way Chuck used to. "You always say the sweetest things."

"I have nothing, but sweet things to say to you." He said as they exited the elevator and walked outside where a car was waiting for them. Getting into the car Damien put an arm around her as they sat in traffic. Kaelyn was frustrated with the traffic and Damien couldn't help, but laugh at her. "You're so sexy when you're frustrated."

"Shut-up." Kaelyn said playfully giving him a nudge. Damien bent down and kissed her.

"So have you and him talked about Christmas?" Damien asked referring to Chuck.

"We haven't spoken in weeks. He missed the last counseling session when he was in France so whenever he gets back we are supposed to have a session before Christmas and I guess we will talk then. He hasn't seen Katherine in two weeks and she has been fussing for him." Kaelyn explained as she looked out of the window.

"Pretty little Kat. I can't wait to get her a gift." Damien said as he put his face into Kaelyn's hair and sniffed. "Kaelyn…" he said.

"Yeah." She said in response still looking out of the window.

"I know you are married and trying work things out, but I enjoy every moment I spend with you and for this to be something more than you dating me would be great, but only if you wanted." He suggested.

Kaelyn then turned to him and looked him in the eyes. "Like being an official couple?" she asked.

"Yeah something like that." He said.

"I'd like that it's just I'm trying to work on my marriage even though we haven't gotten far. To be your girlfriend would be tricky for me." She responded.

"It won't be tricky for me. I will understand if it all works out, but for now how about it?" he asked.

"Alright I guess. I just don't want to get too serious about it." Kaelyn said and then Damien kissed her strongly.

They were having such a good time shopping. The two of them walked through the store looking at things for Kaelyn to buy for other people. They stood in the jewelry section with his hands around her waist as she looked for something to buy Lily. Kaelyn was concentrated on a particular necklace when she heard a familiar voice calling her name and she turned to see Chuck walking up to her with a furious look on his face.

"Who the hell is this?" he asked as he approached her.

"Excuse me?" Kaelyn questioned.

"This guy who is he with his hands on you?" Chuck growled as he stood there looking from Kaelyn to Damien and back.

"He's my boyfriend." Kaelyn said clearly and without fear.

"What the fuck…" Chuck started, but suddenly Damien cut him off.

"We are in a store don't cause a scene." Damien said calmly as he held on tight to Kaelyn who had started to shake in his arms.

"Bitch you are going around and sleeping with this guy now?" Chuck asked his voice still raised.

"Don't call her that. If you are going to talk to her call her by her name, Kaelyn. You have no right to confront her like this you and your little thing over there." Damien pointed out to Amber who was standing in the background. "Let's go Kay." He said to Kaelyn as he started to walk with his arm secured around her waist.

Walking out of the store Kaelyn took a good breath. She felt like she had been holding her breath the entire time. There were tears in her eyes as she stood with Damien's arms around her as he held her to his chest. Kaelyn took deep breathes as she tried to control herself. In just that single moment she felt like everything was crashing down. Damien rubbed her back as he held her close.

"I'm alright." She breathed into his chest.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah." She nodded and looked up at him with a weak smile. "Thanks." She said before standing on the tips of her toes to kiss him quickly. "Let's go to another store." She suggested.

"Sounds like a plan." Damien said as he help am arm around Kaelyn's waist and they walked up the street to go inside another store for Kaelyn to finish her shopping.

Walking into her empty apartment Kaelyn turned on the lights as Damien and the doorman walked in holding the bags from her Christmas shopping. Damien gave the doorman a tip before he left them alone in the apartment. Damien walked over to Kaelyn and wrapped his arms around her waist. Standing there He bent down and have her a passionate kiss that sent shivers down Kaelyn's spine.

"Thanks for today and being to calm in the store with Chuck." Kaelyn said as the two of them walked into the living room where Damien sat down and pulled her into his lap.

"You don't deserve to be treated like that and he should know that." He said as he pulled her close. Kaelyn could feel his breath on her skin before he kissed her neck. She bit her lip as she sat with him wanting more than his kisses. She felt so wrong, but then she really accessed the situation and turned to him and kissing him strong on the lips.

Kaelyn then broke the kiss and stood. "This way." She motioned with a finger as she walked towards her bedroom. Suddenly she felt Damien scoop her up in his arms as he then carried her into the bedroom. He sat her down on the bed and Kaelyn started to unbutton his shirt. Working her fingers down she took his shirt off. She felt him as he reached to pull her dress over her head. She moved to help in getting her dress off. As she now sat on the bed in nothing but her bra and panties she suddenly for the first time felt embarrassed about her body. She had never been naked with anyone other than Chuck and it felt so wrong. Suddenly everything she felt wrong with her body was coming to her mind like her stretch marks from when she was pregnant with Katherine and the scares on her body from when Ian raped her. Her breathing was now hard from how nervous she was.

"Are you sure about this?" Damien then asked realizing how nervous she had become.

"Yes." She breathed as she moved to kiss him. She pulled at the buckled of his belt as she loosened it up so she could unbutton and unzip his pants. Pulling his pants down as much as she could he then kicked them off. His body was now over hers as they were only separated by their under garments. Kaelyn then tugged as his boxers in a motion that seemed for a second like she was going to rip them off. He sat her up and reached behind her and unhooked her bra. He started to kiss her lips and worked his way down her neck to her stomach. Kaelyn giggled at the feeling of his lips on her stomach. She then moaned as his lips moved to her thighs and she felt his fingers as the elastic of her panties. "Hurry." She breathes as she pleaded in response to his teasing.

Waking up Kaelyn opened her eyes and sat up in bed. She felt a breeze and realized that she was completely naked. Her mind then went back to the night before and everything had come back to her. She looked over and she noticed that Damien was no where to be found. With a sigh she cursed herself and suddenly thought that she must have been really horrible in bed for him to disappear on her before she even woke up, but then she heard the door open and he walked into the room in only his jeans with still no shirt on with a tray in his hand. As he walked to her with a smile on his face she realized that he was bringing her breakfast.

"For you." He said as he brought the tray to her. Kaelyn pulled the sheet over her body and sat up more so he could sit the tray on her lap. The tray contained a full breakfast as well as a fresh rose.

"Thanks, its wonderful." She said happily.

"I cooked it myself." He said as he sat down next to her and stole a piece of bacon from her plate.

"You did not." She said looking at him.

"I did, your kitchen staff was about to start and I told them that I wanted to cook myself just for you." He said. Kaelyn gave him a smile and was speechless. It was something that Chuck had never done for her. She had breakfast in bed plenty of times that the kitchen staff had made, but he never personally had cooked for her or done anything like that for her.

"So sweet." She then said as she kissed him quickly and then started at her breakfast.

"He doesn't deserve you." Damien then said. "You are too good for him and you need to be treated better and with someone who actually will take care of you."

"Damien." She started in protest.

"No listen to me." He said as he took a finger and lifted her chin and looked her in the eyes. "I care about you and about your daughter and all I want to do is what is right and that is take care of a woman who deserves to be loved. I know we talked about not being too serious, but if you want to be you have me."

"Thanks." She said softly. "That means a lot."

"Now let's enjoy this breakfast." Damien then said with a smile as he picked up what Kaelyn realized was a second fork. The two of them sat together in the bed enjoying what he had made for her. Kaelyn's mind wandered to what he said and now she realized that she was thinking about it seriously.

**A/N:** I know this is really random, but in a review please respond. I wanted to know if any of you were Harry Potter fans and if so are you going to Terminus next month?


	9. Chapter 9

A/N:

**A/N:** The reviews were great and I thank everyone who reviewed to the last chapter: **DaleSnail, Bluebear48, singdance, **and** Nelle07**.

**Than to Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter Nine**

Christmas Day had come and all of New York was in the spirit including Kaelyn who sat in the living room with Katherine on her lap. She helped Katherine open gifts. She looked up as Damien walked out of the kitchen into the living room with two hot cups of hot chocolate and a bottle of chocolate milk just for Katherine. He sat them on the table as he sat on the floor next to the mother and daughter as Katherine ripped at the paper that was in front of her. She giggled at the sound of the ripping noise.

"Let mommy open a gift." Damien said as he pulled a small box from under the tree and handed it to Kaelyn.

Kaelyn gave him a smile before she started to open the box. Inside she pulled out a beautiful necklace. Katherine went to grab at it, but Kaelyn quickly moved it away and turned to Damien giving him a smile. "It's beautiful."

"I saw it and I knew it would be perfect. Here let me put it on you." He took the necklace from her hands and then moved behind her. Kaelyn lifted her hair for him where he put it around her neck and fastened it. Kaelyn turned her head and kissed him when he was finished.

"Daddy!" squealed Katherine and Kaelyn looked to see Chuck walking into the living room with gifts in his arms. She quickly turned from Damien and looked at Chuck. Katherine crawled from Kaelyn's lap and grabbed into the coffee table where she pulled herself to her little feet. She then tried her hardest as she walk as fast as she could without falling over to Chuck.

"You're walking." He said surprised.

"She started a couple weeks ago." Kaelyn responded as she also stood with Damien following in suit putting his arm around her waist.

"Up!" Katherine yelled up to Chuck as she stood at his feet with her hands in the air reaching for him to pick her up.

"Alright baby girl." He said as he sat the gifts on the couch and bent down to pick up Katherine who laughed as he picked her up.

"You've gotten so big." He said as he threw Katherine in the air and she laughed aloud.

"She has, I've been buying her new clothes nearly every week." Kaelyn commented in response.

"I brought gifts, but first." Chuck looked from Kaelyn to Damien. "Kay I was hoping that we could talk." He said.

"Mik!" Katherine yelled as she pointed to her bottle on the table. "Mik, Mik."

"I will get that for you." Damien said as he picked up the bottle and went to take Katherine from Chuck's arms. "And you two can talk." He said giving Kaelyn a reassuring smile before walking out of the room with Katherine in his arms who had already grabbed her bottle and was drinking the chocolate milk.

Kaelyn sat on the couch and Chuck sat on the couch right across from her and looked at her with a smile. "Kay I've been thinking lately and I'm sorry." He started.

"Sorry?" questioned Kaelyn.

"For everything that I did. I was wrong for running off with Amber and suggesting we separate. I've realized that I love you and I don't want to live without you… Kay I want to come home." He said as he leaned forward to Kaelyn. They sat for a moment in silence and then he stood and walked over to Kaelyn and sat next to her. He put his arm around her and Kaelyn moved away.

"Well I'm sorry." She said looking at him intensely. "You tore me apart when you left me. I didn't know what to do with myself and I was left here to learn to re-enter into society with a daughter to take care of. I tried to fight for us and you wouldn't have it so for now all I can say is no you can't come home and you will learn how hard it was for me and you will have to fight for me."

"I'll fight Kay. I want you back." He said looking at her and taking her hand into his. Kaelyn ripped her hand away from his.

"Well fight." She said as she stood and started cleaning up the wrapping paper that was already on the floor. She held in the tears that she felt inside as she picked up the paper.

"You are serious aren't you?" he asked as he watched Kaelyn for a second before standing and walking to her where he put his arms around her and held her close to him.

Kaelyn pulled herself away from him. "I am." She spat as she finished picking up the paper and walked into the kitchen with it to throw away. Damien sat at the table with Katherine on his lap who was now babbling something incoherent to him as if she was having an actual conversation with him.

"Really now?" he asked as if he really understood the ramblings that came from her mouth.

"We should finish opening gifts." She suggested with a weak smile.

"Everything alright?" He asked her as he stood holding Katherine who had her arms out to Kaelyn.

"Yeah." Kaelyn said as she walked to him and picked up Katherine who had then started to babble to her.

"Come on baby girl, Daddy brought you some gifts." Kaelyn said to Katherine as she walked into the living room where Chucks at on the couch waiting. Kaelyn put Katherine down so she could walk and she waddled her way over to Chuck who held a large box that Katherine immediately started to tear the paper away. Pulling at the paper with all her might Katherine fell to the ground on her butt and started to giggle before pulling herself back up and starting to pull at the paper again. Kaelyn now stood with the video camera as she taped Katherine's battle with the wrapping paper.

"No! No!" Katherine screeched at Chuck as he attempted to help her with the paper and she wasn't having it. She was convinced that she was going to do it on her own.

Damien and Kaelyn both laughed as they watched Katherine who was only a forth done with ripping the paper from the large box. Kaelyn felt Damein put his arms around her waist and she smiled as she leaned into his arms. Chuck glanced away from Katherine and looked over to Kaelyn and Damien. Kaelyn noticed his stare and her eyes met his before she quickly turned away and focused her eyes on Katherine who looked frustrated with the paper.

"Here let daddy help." Chuck said as he reached his hand and before he could even touch the paper Katherine was screaming at him angrily. He laughed as she went back to the paper. It took her nearly fifteen more minutes, but she finally got the paper off of the box and was now looking at the pictures on the outside of the box as Chuck sat assembling the pieces of the kiddy car that he had gotten her. Katherine sat yawning and whipping her eyes as she let out small frustrated cries.

"Nap time." Kaelyn said as she picked up Katherine who immediately started crying. "Stop fighting it. It's time for a nap." She said to the little girl who she started to rock in her arms and was once again yawning. While rocking her Katherine fell right asleep in Kaelyn's arms. "Let me put her down." Kaelyn said as she started up the hall and walked into Katherine's room where she put her into the crib.

Walking into the living room it was now completely awkward without the distraction of Katherine. It was now the three of them Kaelyn, Damien, and Chuck. Kaelyn bit her lip nervously as she stood tapping her foot on the wood floor.

"You're nervous, don't be." Chuck simply said looking at Kaelyn.

"What?" she questioned.

"You bite your lip and tap your foot when you are nervous." He said with a smile. He then stood from the newly assembled little car that Katherine was guaranteed to be riding around the house on all day when she woke up from her nap. "Well I'm done. I guess I will see you later. My dad is throwing a New Years paper I hope you can come." He said as he gave Kaelyn a smile.

"I'll see." She said as she started fiddling with her hands to keep her mind off of things. "I will take lots of pictures of Katherine on the car for you." She said.

"Thanks. It means a lot." He said with a smile before walking over to Kaelyn and grabbing her into a strong kiss. "See you later." He said with a wink before giving Damien a nod and leaving the apartment all together.

"Alrighty then I guess he is serious." Kaelyn said as she stood in the same spot starring at the front door.

"Serious about?" Damien questioned.

"He told me that he wants to come home and I told him he had to fight for me." Kaelyn responded as she still stared and then she started to move towards the couch the clean up the paper from Katherine's attack on the box.

"He will have a fight on his hands because I plan to fight also." Damien then said as he also started to pick up the paper. Kaelyn looked at him and he smiled. "I love you and I will fight just as hard or even harder to be the one who wins your heart."

"Damien please I just don't know what to do. I can't be split between the two of you. I've had this problem before and I don't know if I can handle it." Kaelyn said sitting on the couch with her face in her hands.

Damien walked over to her and sat next to her putting his arm around her. "If it is clear that I have lost I will back away. I won't smother you I will just keep my distance." He said giving her a reassuring smile. "But he will know that he is fighting for the heart of one of the most beautiful and wonderful women I know in my life that I have ever met."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** I am seriously happy because I think this is the longest chapter yet. I actually really like this chapter also, for one I like how I end it off. So Thanks for all my latest reviews that were from: **TempusSimia, Nelle07, bluebear48, singdance, **and **steff777**.

**Than To Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter Ten**

Kaelyn stood in the mirror looking at herself in the dress she was wearing. She had gone shopping to find something to wear to the New Years party and she still couldn't believe she was even going to go. It took a lot of convincing from both Serena and Blair to get her to go. A huge factor was that Damien had been booked on a photography job in California and he was going to visit his family and spend New Years with them while there. Blair of course had helped Kaelyn pick out the extremely sexy dress that didn't cover much at all in Kaelyn's perspective. She pulled at the back of it feeling like it was too short on her. She stood in the stiletto heels and took another look at herself before grabbing her purse off the bed and walking out of the room. Walking down the hall she looked into Katherine's room where her baby stood in her crib while Georgia looked through the shelf for a book.

"Mommy!" Katherine yelled out happily.

"Night baby." Kaelyn said walking into the room and kissing Katherine on the forehead. "Have a goodnight Georgia." Kaelyn said to the nanny.

"You too ma'am." Georgia said giving Kaelyn a wave as Kaelyn walked out of the bedroom.

Pretty much everyone at the party Kaelyn knew. She stood with a glass of champagne alone when she spotted Chuck when he arrived. He saw her immediately and made his way to her giving her a smile. When he made it to her he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close.

"You look beautiful tonight." He whispered in her ear.

"Thanks." Kaleyn said nervously.

"How's Kat?" he asked.

"Great when I left Georgia was about to read her a story." Kaelyn responded as she saw the eyes of people in the room on her and Chuck. She knew that most if not all knew about the problems they were having. "I brought you pictures." She said as she moved and pulled the pictures from her purse and handed them to him.

"She loves that car." He said giving a slight laugh at the pictures.

"That's all she does all day now. I can barely pry her away from it." Kaelyn said happily looking at the pictures as well.

She then felt his lips on her neck. "Mmm, I love you." He whispered. He continued to kiss her neck and move his hands on her body. "Let's ditch the party and take this to my room."

"Stop." Kaleyn said moving away from him. "This is exactly why I wasn't going to come here tonight." She growled as she stepped away and starred him down.

"I'm sorry Kay." He said as he moved towards her, but she once again moved away. He shrugged and put his hands in his pocket and they both stayed in the exact places that they stood. "So I was thinking that you, Kat, and I can do something next weekend."

"Can't." Kaelyn said simply as she stood tapping her foot nervously as she always did.

"Why?" he asked as he gave her a very puzzled look.

"Damien made reservations and we are going to Florida. He wants to take Kat to Disney World for the first time." Kaelyn said with a smile happy that at least Damien was seriously thinking about Katherine.

"Really?" Chuck questioned. "Well maybe another weekend. I wanted to make up for Kat's birthday."

"Bet you do." Kaelyn spat. She then looked and spotted Serena and Dan. She waved to them and just walked away leaving Chuck where he stood. "Hey!" Kaelyn said giving them both a hug.

"Happy New Year." Dan said before giving the waiter the bottle of champagne he had brought with them.

"Happy New Year." Kaelyn said happily.

"So how has it been?" Serena asked spotting Chuck who was walking over.

"Alright I guess." Kaleyn responded before Chuck walked to the three of them and looped an arm around Kaelyn's waist pulling her to his body.

"Serena, Dan." He said with a smile and a nod to the two of them

"Hey man, Happy New Year." Dan said.

"You too." Chuck said before giving Kaelyn a kiss on the cheek. Kaelyn was feeling extremely uncomfortable as people passed them with their eyes on them. She bit her lip as they stood. "Looks like you are out of champagne. I will get you another glass." He said to Kaelyn who was now relieved that he walked away.

"I'm going to skip to the restroom quickly." Kaelyn said to Dan and Serena before quickly slipping away and down the hall to only see there was more to the party down the hall. She let out a breath of frustration before she went to turn around. She cursed herself and went to leave when she felt someone tap her shoulder. She turned to be faced with Chuck's dad. "Bart hi." Kaleyn said uncomfortably.

"Kaelyn I was hoping that you would make it." Mr. Bass said to Kaelyn as she stood there still extremely uncomfortable. "I'm glad to see that you and that son of mine are working things out. He jeopardized too much letting you go for his assistant. I was in the hall the day he kicked her out and he had realized he made a big mistake leaving you. Since then he has been sulking around this place. It's good to see him smile tonight. He asked me to give him less responsibilities in the company so he can spend time with you and Katherine and not be too busy anymore that he can't be with his family and I am proud of him for that." In that moment she could tell that he actually was happy for the two of them.

"Working is the key word." Kaelyn said as she then felt an arm on her waist and there was Chuck handing her a glass of champagne.

"For you baby." Chuck said after he handed her the glass and then kissed her cheek.

"Thanks." Kaelyn said simply looking down at the floor trying to avoid eyes all together.

"I was just telling Kaelyn that I am glad the two of you are working things out." Mr. Bass said to Chuck who smiled like a little boy on Christmas day.

"I'm glad too." Chuck said pulling Kaelyn closer to him. The only thing Kaelyn could do in the moment was give a small smile.

"Here I was going to leave you a few of these new pictures of Katherine." Kaelyn said to Mr. Bass as she pulled the pictures from her purse.

"She is sure growing up." Mr. Bass commented as he looked through the pictures. "Thank you I am going to frame a few of these to go in my office."

"Kaelyn!" called a voice and Kaelyn turned to see Blair walking up the hall with her husband not far behind.

"Blair, hi." Kaleyn said before giving her friend a hug.

"Chuck, Mr. Bass a delight." Blair said in her very professional tone. "I just saw Serena a few seconds ago. You can't miss her with that belly of hers."

"Not at all." Kaelyn said with a slight laugh. "Chuck will you excuse me for a moment. Blair I need a little help with my hair can you grab Serena and meet me in the restroom." Kaelyn then said quickly.

"Of course." Blair said before turning and making her way into the hall and down to where Serena was.

"Yes I will see you in a moment." Chuck said before pulling Kaelyn into a quick kiss. Kaelyn gave him a weak smile before making her way down the hall to the restroom where Blair and Serena were waiting for her.

"He is driving me insane." Kaleyn said as she put the lid down on the toilet and sat down looking up at her friends.

"You two look great, what's the problem?" Blair asked.

"I know I wanted to spend more time and work on things, but he is showering me with too much attention and I can't breathe." She then growled in frustration. "He keeps holding me close and kissing me and telling me how much he loves me and it is driving me absolutely insane."

"Well he is trying." Serena said.

"True, but goodness I think it's more of I wasn't expecting that." Kaelyn said. "It's a little weird being with him here. We haven't been together in a few months and I think I've learned to be without him."

"What are you saying?" Serena asked.

"I don't know." Kaelyn growled.

"Do you not want to try with him?" Blair asked.

"I want to try. I think I am just really afraid of him breaking my heart again. I don't think I can do that all over again." Kaelyn said as she then stood and pulled lipstick from her purse and started to apply it.

"It's nearly midnight we better get out there." Blair then said.

"Yeah." Kaelyn said as she moved her hair from her face and walked out of the bathroom in front of the other girls. She found Chuck with everyone else on the balcony as they waited for it to be midnight. Standing outside his arms went around her and she snuggled in deeper to keep warm. She closed her eyes for a moment and thought about how things used to be and she wondered if it stayed like this could they go back to their wonderful normal and not be stuck in the bad.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Happy New Year!" Everyone counted down and shouted together. Kaelyn then looked at Chuck who smiled at her before grabbing her into a deep and passionate kiss. Kaelyn wrapped her arms around his neck as his hands held her by the waist. When they broke away he looked her in the eyes and smiled.

"My New Years resolution is to win you back and be the best husband and father I can ever be." Chuck said looking Kaelyn in the eyes. She gave a small smile and found herself snuggled in his arms. She started to cry as he held her. "Baby are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm just overwhelmed in a good way." Kaelyn said as she looked up at him with a smile.

-

_Being six months pregnant was not a walk in the park for Kaelyn who moved slowly through the apartment because her stomach was so swollen. For a good moment she was seriously convinced that she was having more than one baby because she couldn't imagine her stomach being as big as it was at six months. She found herself sitting on the couch alone with her work binder in hand. The binder contained the new issue of the magazine that she had to go over before Nadine came to pick it up from her. Going through every page she sat with a red pen making her corrections. She heard the door open and close and she looked to see Chuck walking in with a smile on his face._

"_Hi." Kaelyn said happily as she closed the binder and sat it on the table._

"_Here is your pizza that I went all the way to Brooklyn to get." Chuck said as he stood with a box in his hand. Kaelyn smiled as he handed her the large pizza box that she opened and smiled down at. Pulling out a slice she started to eat._

"_Thanks." She said with her mouth half-full. Chuck reached in the box to grab a slice and Kaelyn smacked his hand. "What do you think you are doing?" she asked him in a very serious tone._

"_Getting a slice of pizza." He responded in a matter-of-factly tone._

"_Get your own pizza then." She spat. He quickly moved his hand away. "Thank you." She said with a smile._

_It wasn't long at all and the entire pizza was gone. Chuck sat with his mouth open as he had seen an entire extra large pepperoni, pineapple, onion, and mushroom pizza disappear before his eyes in only about fifteen minutes all by one woman._

"_That was good." Kaelyn said as she sat the box on the table. "I was thinking that we should get Chinese for dinner."_

"_That wasn't your dinner?" Chuck asked._

"_Of course not." Kaelyn said as she picked her binder up to finish going through the last couple of pages. "Oh baby." Kaelyn said as she quickly put her hand on her stomach where she felt the baby kicking._

"_She's kicking again?" Chuck asked._

"_Yeah." Kaelyn said with a smile. Chuck put his hand on her stomach and smiled as he felt the baby kick against his hand._

"_Hey there little girl." He said happily to her stomach where the baby kicked again. "You want to get out don't you?" he questioned._

"_I'm sure she does and I want her out." Kaelyn said before she suddenly covered her mouth. She quickly stood and waddled her way quickly to the bathroom to get rid of the pizza she had just inhaled. Coming out of the bathroom her face was blotchy and she was sweaty. Chuck met her at the door with a cold towel and a glass of water. "Well baby really didn't like the pizza."_

-

Standing watching a photo shoot Kaelyn smiled at Damien and his excited form of taking pictures with him always jumping around trying to get the best reaction from the subject. He finished the shoot and walked to where Kaelyn stood putting his arms around her waist and pulling her close. He kissed her lips quickly. All Kaelyn could do was smile like she always did when she was with him. The one thing she loved about being with Damien was that there were no doubts with him. She was sure he wasn't going to break her heart and she was sure that he was going to be there for her.

"So this I my first time talking to you since I got back, so how was the party?" he asked as he continued to hold her close.

"It was alright I guess." Kaelyn said.

"Just alright?" Damien asked. "How were you and Chuck?"

"He showered me with attention and it was weird for me. He is really trying and that makes me happy, but I have so many doubts about him in the back of my mind it is driving me insane." She said truthfully.

"No doubts with me right?" Damien asked.

"None at all." Kaelyn said with a smile before kissing him quickly. "I had nothing else planned for the day after this shoot." She said flirtatiously as she seductively bit her lip.

"Mmm sexy." Damien said with a slight growl.

"I have to get some things from my office and I will meet you in the lobby." Kaelyn said happily before kissing him and slipping from his arms and making her way out of the room.

Sitting up in the bed Kaelyn felt incredibly stupid for what she had done. Damien had his arms around her, but they both sat in silence. Over and over in her mind Kaelyn continued to curse herself for her mistake and she wondered what Damien was thinking at the moment about her mistake. Frustrated with the entire situation Kaelyn let out a breath and then looked at Damien.

"I'm sorry." She spoke in barely a whisper.

"There's no problem." Damien said kissing her lips quickly. "It's a simple mistake."

"No it's a big one." Kaelyn said as she leaned onto his chest. "When you are having sex with someone I am sure they expect you to say their name and not the name of their estranged husband."

"Kay, don't trip. It's alright. You are going through a lot." Damien said supportively. "Would it help if I said that I forgive you?" he questioned.

"Not really. I am still upset about it." She said as she kept her head on his chest. She felt his hand on her bare back and she looked up at him. "I really don't know what I am doing."

"You are doing all you can." Damien said as he pulled her to where she was straddling him. "It's alright."

Kaelyn gave him a smile and bent down to kiss him passionately. She sat up and looked down at him. She ran her fingers down his chest as she looked at him. "You are too wonderful to me." She said truthfully. She bent down and kissed him once again. "To me and Kat. I know we are going to have the best time at Disney World."

"I'm fighting for your heart remember?" he questioned with a wink.

"I remember and it's working." She said as she kissed him again. Their kiss became very rough and passionate. Damien moved to where he was on top her and looking down on her.

"How about we repair what happened before?" he said with a wink.

"Sounds like a plan." Kaelyn responded as she felt his hands run down her body. She moaned against his touch. "Damien." She said seductively with a smile as he then grabbed her by the waist and she repeated it again. He looked down at her with a smirk. Kaelyn wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a warm and passionate kiss. He pulled her body up and she dug her nails into the skin of his back as her breathing had become uneven in the passionate moment. Just then there was the sound of the doorbell. Both Kaelyn and Damien stopped for a moment wondering what they heard and there it came again it was obviously the doorbell. Kaelyn rolled her eyes and groaned at the distraction.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N:

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews: **Bluebear48, singdance, Nelle07**, and **pink-jinx67**.

**Than to Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter Eleven**

Jumping out of the bed Kaelyn threw a robe on and made it through the empty apartment. She had sent all the staff home for the day to spend the afternoon alone with Damien and now there was someone at the door. The doorbell continued to ring as she walked down the stairs and down into the living room and to the door. Opening the door she was faced with Chuck who stood there with a smile on his face. Kaelyn was taken aback to the fact that he was even there. He stood with a large bouquet of roses that he held out for her. They were Kaelyn's favorite the hearts on fire roses that he used to always get for her.

"For you." He said as he went to hand her the bouquet. Kaelyn took it, but continued to stare at him confused.

"What are you doing here?" she asked apprehensively while tapping her foot and then she bit her lip.

"Nervous are we?" he questioned as he ran a hand down the side of her face. He then laughed. "I'm actually here to pick up Kat, remember I told you I was going to pick her up this evening to go see the Sesame Street show."

"Oh goodness I forgot." Kaelyn said again biting her lip. "Georgia took her out to the park. You can call Georgia on her cell phone."

"That works I guess I will keep her overnight so I better get some of her clothes." Chuck said as he walked into the apartment right past Kaelyn who was still in her mind trying to figure out a way to get rid of him.

"I can have some sent to the hotel." Kaelyn then said quickly.

"Why are you so nervous?" Chuck asked as he pulled Kaelyn close to him planting a kiss on her lips.

"Kay who is it?" called the voice that only belonged to Damien who had walked down the stairs in only his jeans. Kaelyn then felt as if she couldn't breathe. Chuck suddenly stopping kissing her and looked to see Damien who was looking at him.

"So this is why you were so nervous?" questioned Chuck who continued to hold Kaelyn close to him. He then refused to let her go.

"Are you alright Kay?" Damien then asked making it down the stairs and looking at Chuck in a manner as if he was going to attack him at any second.

"I'm great." Kaelyn breathed still incredibly nervous.

"Well I will call Georgia to bring Kat by the hotel with some clothes." Chuck said.

"Alright." Kaelyn breathed.

"Love you." Chuck said before kissing her again and giving Damien a look that could only be described as territorial. "See you around Damien." He said with a nod.

"Same to you." Damien said politely.

Kaelyn simply watched as Chuck left the apartment. She sat down on the couch and let out a breath feeling like she had been holding it the entire time. Damien then walked over to her and sat down next to her putting his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. Kaelyn's breathing was still heavy as it had been during the entire awkward moment.

"What was that all about?" Damien asked.

"I forgot he was picking up Kat and he had come to get her." She said softly. She then looked up at Damien who simply smiled trying to keep her with a positive attitude, but this time around it wasn't working for Kaelyn who was so sure about one thing moments before and then was now in a confused spot. "I'm tired." Kaelyn said before yawning.

"Let's take you to bed." He said.

"Actually I want to spend the evening alone." Kaelyn said looking at him.

"That's alright. You need some rest and your alone time." Damien said as he bent and kissed her quickly. Kaelyn gave him a weak smile as he removed his arm from her and then stood. Kaelyn stood also and walked up the stairs with him to her bedroom. Damien put on the rest of his clothes and gave Kaelyn one more kiss before leaving the room. It was only a few moments later when Kaelyn heard her front door close. She took off her robe and put on a nightgown before slipping into her big bed alone. She felt strange even though she was very used to spending nights alone in her bed before and after Chuck left her. She let out another yawn before she grabbed the pillow next to her that used to smell like Chuck, but now it really didn't have much of a scent to it at all. She held it close before she drifted to sleep.

By morning Kaelyn found herself walking into The Palace. She had dressed nicely with her hair in a ponytail and a few strands of hair hanging in front. She passed the front desk with a nod to the concierge before stepping into the elevator. She was already tapping her foot and biting her lip as she rode up to the all familiar twelfth floor. Making her way up the hall she walked to the door and knocked. The door wasn't opened by Chuck who she expected, but by Nate who gave her a kind smile.

"Kaelyn, it's been a long time." He said as he grabbed her into a hug.

"A very long time." She said with a smile to her old friend. "Are Chuck and Kat here?" she asked.

"Yeah Chuck is currently struggling in the bathroom with changing her diaper." Nate said with a slight laugh. Kaelyn rolled her eyes and walked in and straight to the bathroom.

At the sight she was greeted with him the bathroom she couldn't contain her laughter. Chuck stood over the changing table covered from head to toe in baby powder. Katherine lay on the table giggling as she held the powder in her hand and every time Chuck attempted to get any progress done she was spraying him with the powder. Kaelyn walked right over and took the powder from Katherine who was not expecting it at all.

"Mommy!" Katherine said happily as she saw Kaelyn who was still laughing at Chuck who stood with his arms folded.

"This is the hardest thing since she has gotten older. It was easier when she was smaller." He growled in frustration before turning and seeing himself in the mirror for the first time. "What the hell?"

"The powder comes right off clothing." Kaelyn said as she was already finishing the diaper changing. She had now taken Katherine down from the table and stood her on the floor. Katherine immediately ran out of the bathroom giggling.

"Nat!" Katherine said happily in the other room.

Kaelyn took a rag and wet it before dabbing it on Chuck's clothes. He looked at her and smiled as she worked on getting most of the powder off of him. "How did this happen?" she asked.

"I was changing her and sat the powder to the side and the next thing I knew she had it in her hands." Chuck said.

"Rule when changing Kat is always put the powder where she can't reach it." Kaelyn said knowingly as she took the rag to Chuck's face and started to wipe the powder off. He gave her a smile and Kaelyn smiled back. She then felt his hands settle on her waist as he pulled her closer. He then kissed her passionately. Kaelyn's arms went around his neck as he held her close. "I better get Kat home." Kaelyn whispered against his lips.

"Stay a while." He then whispered before kissing her again and taking her by the hand. "I love you." He whispered in her ear before they walked out of the bathroom and into the living room area where Katherine was sitting on Nate's lap and was playing with his face. She would plug his nose and he would making a noise and Katherine would burst into a fit of giggles.

"Daddy!" she then said happily pointing to Chuck. "Eat…toc, toc."

"Toc, toc?" questioned Kaelyn.

Katherine then pointed at the table to where a small pile of complementary pillow chocolates were sitting. "Toc, toc."

"Chocolate?" Kaelyn then turned to Chuck with her hands on her hips. "You gave her chocolate?"

"She had already eaten and I gave her a snack last night." Chuck said.

"I bet she stayed up half the night?" questioned Kaelyn.

"She actually did." Chuck said with a laugh.

"Chuck seriously chocolate." Kaelyn growled in frustration. "Give her apple slices or dry unsweetened regular cherrios for a snack, not chocolate of all things."

"Sorry." Chuck said with a shrug. "I didn't know."

"Well learn." Kaelyn spat as she then picked up Katherine who had crawled to the floor and made it to the table in attempt to get some chocolate.

"Toc, Toc!" screamed Katherine angrily at Kaelyn.

"No baby." Kaelyn said calmly to the baby who was now in Kaelyn's arms, but attempting to lean towards the chocolate in the table. Kaelyn had spotted the baby bag with Katherine's things and she picked it up. "We have a session in two days. I hope to see you there."

"I'll be there." Chuck said innocently as Kaelyn shot him a disapproving look.

"Nice seeing you again Nate, take care." Kaelyn said to Nate who was watching everything take place.

"You too. Bye Kat-Kat." He said to Katherine who giggled and waved as Kaelyn made her way to the door.

"Bye baby." Chuck said to Katherine.

"Daddy!" Katherine said happy as she waved at him. Kaelyn walked out of the door with Katherine in her arms. By the time the elevator was at the lobby Katherine was no longer in Kaelyn's arms, but she was walking beside Kaelyn who held her hand.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Yay for excitement

**A/N:** Yay for excitement! Thanks to **singdance** and **bluebear48** for the great reviews!

**Than To Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter Twelve**

After returning to New York from Florida Kaelyn was completely tired and ready to spend an entire week resting, but she was faced with lots of work when returning home so her prospect of resting was smashed. Upon returning Chuck had come to pick up Katherine to spend a few days with him and that was fine by Kaelyn who simply wanted to rest and dealing with a one year old and resting didn't quite go together. This did leave her and Damien a lot of time to spend together even with all of her work she had to do. Wednesday morning she awoke in her bed alone. Sitting up and stretching she slipped out of bed and started to get ready for work. She wasn't going to see Damien for a few days because he was being honored with a photography award in Atlanta, but she couldn't go with all the work she had to do at her office.

Turing on the news Kaelyn walked into the closet to pick out something to wear to work. It was something she did every morning. She would listen to the news while she got ready for work. Standing in the closet she noticed that they had started to talk about Bass Incorporated which was Chuck's father's company. She walked out of her closet and into her bedroom and sat on the bed while she waited for the story.

"Early this morning upon arriving to work nearly five hundred non-union employees of Bass Incorporated were told that they had to attend a meeting and at that meeting they were informed by company Vice President Charles Bass that they were being laid-off. When asked to comment the workers expressed their anger in that they now had no jobs and they had families to feed. When asked to comment the press secretary of Bass Incorporated said that they were extremely sorry that they had to let go of the employees and that they had been in talks for a very long time in order to decide if they were going to lay off these employees and they tried their hardest not to, but the numbers were not working and they had to do what they could as a company and the decision was to lay them off. We will have more on this story later." The reporter said and then the story switched to something about a troop of dancing dogs in Wyoming.

Kaelyn was surprised at the story because normally Chuck always told her these kinds of things, but then she thought it was because they didn't live together and having conversations wasn't something they had been good at. Finishing her preparations for work Kaelyn went on with her day and to work. She sat in her office making phone calls for nearly an hour when Nadine ran into her office out of breath.

"Something wrong?" Kaelyn asked Nadine who was out of breath and had a very terrified look on her face.

"Turn on your TV." Nadine said out of breath as she grabbed Kaelyn's remote and turn on the flat screen that hung on the wall of Kaelyn's office.

"We are still getting word on how many hostages there are…For those who are just tuning in we are across the street from The Palace Hotel here in New York City where a hostage situation is taking place in the head offices of Bass Incorporated. From what we know one very upset now ex-employee of the company who was laid-off this morning returned to let the President and Vice President of the company know how he feels about being laid off…just a second…I am hearing from police that they know for sure that there are nearly twelve hostages and of those twelve two are the President and Vice President and one of them is the only one year old daughter of the Vice President Charles Bass…" before the reporter could say anymore Kaelyn was hysterical. Quickly grabbing her coat and her purse she ran from her office and instead of taking the elevator she jogged down the stairs.

The Palace was only a few blocks from Kaelyn's office and she ran the entire way there. Making it there the entire street was blocked by police and reporters were all across the street. She ran straight to the barricade where she was pushed away by an officer.

"You don't understand!" she screamed while tears were flowing down her face. "My husband and daughter are in there!"

"Ma'am all hotel guest have been evacuated." The police officer said.

"They aren't guest. Charles Bass is my husband." She cried and suddenly the officer looked at her with wide eyes.

"This way ma'am." The officer said as he let her through the barricade and over to a small area there were computers set up under a canopy. There was a chair that he led her to, but Kaelyn wouldn't sit.

"No, No, my husband and my daughter." She cried.

"Mrs. Bass we are trying to negotiate with the hostage taker now, but for now all we can do is wait. Just sit here and I promise I will keep you informed." He said to her calmly. Kaelyn nodded and sat in the chair. She was shaking as she sat. Looking up at the hotel she just wondered how everything was going inside and she felt like she couldn't bare it. The thought of Chuck and or Katherine being hurt or killed broke her heart into pieces.

Nearly two hours had passed and Kaelyn was still sitting and waiting. They had gotten the hostage taker on the phone a couple times, but each time they only had him for a few minutes before he hung up and refused to speak to them. It had gotten really quiet until the police decided to sent officers in. Kaelyn watched as a SWAT team of officers entered the hotel. She was now standing by a wall looking terrified. It was quiet for a moment until she heard gun shots and everything got crazy. It was like to her that everything had gone so fast even though it had taken nearly 45 minutes after they heard shots until there were more and hostages were now coming out of the building. She then saw and officer with a baby and she knew right away it was Kat. Kaleyn ran right over to the officer.

"I'm her mother." She cried and the officer nodded and handed her Kat who was crying. Kaelyn rocked her in her arms waiting to see Chuck walk out, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. She then seen Mr. Bass' assistant Marylynn.

"Marylynn where is Chuck?" she asked as she continued to rock Katherine who was still crying.

"He was shot." Marylynn said in a soft, but frightening tone.

It seemed like everything had stopped for Kaelyn when she heard it. She suddenly was on the ground still holding Katherine and she was now also crying. The paramedics entered the hotel and the second person they brought out was Chuck. Kaelyn got up and ran to him.

"Chuck!" she screamed as she got to him.

"Kay, Kat's okay. That's good." He said as if he was in another universe. The paramedic continued to wheel him.

"I have to ride." She said suddenly.

"Only direct relatives." The paramedic said.

"I'm his wife." Kaelyn said angrily.

"Oh sorry, follow me." The paramedic said.

Kaelyn sat in the hospital room with Katherine asleep in her arms and Chuck asleep in the bed. He had emergency surgery to have the bullet removed from his abdomen, but other than that the doctor said he was fine. Kaelyn was extremely happy that he was okay because in the end she realized she didn't know what to do if he had died. It was three in the morning and she had started to drift asleep, but she fought it because she wanted to be awake when she woke up. Her arms had gotten tired from holding Kat so she sat her in the free space on the free space on the bed with Chuck and then she couldn't fight off sleep. Waking up she felt something on her head and opened her eyes to see that she had leaned over with her head on the bed and Chuck was stroking her hair.

"Morning sleepy." He said with a weak smile.

"Mmm morning." Kaelyn said with a yawn as she stretched. When putting her hands on the bed Chuck took her hands in his.

"I love you." He said in barely a whisper.

"I love you." Kaelyn said with tears falling from her eyes. "When I thought I was going to lose you my life for those moments had turned upside down. I know we had our problems and made our mistakes, but I don't want to live without you and the idea of you being gone forever scared me out of my mind." She said with tears that were continually flowing. He took a finger and wiped her tears. "Chuck I love you so much and I want you to come home when you get out of here."

"I'd be glad to…I love you, too." He said with a smile and then a yawn.

"I'm going to let you rest. You need it. Aunt Lily said she would keep Kat so I am going to take her there and come back." Kaelyn said with a kind smile at her husband.

"Alright. I'm pretty sure I will be back asleep in a few minutes." He said softly.

"I love you." Kaelyn said happily as she stood and picked up Katherine who was still fast asleep. "Be back really soon." She said happily. The bending down she kissed him quickly before turning and leaving the room.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Sorry it has been a while there has been a lot with my summer camp and that has now ended and I have a week to write at the moment. If you have seen my new fic **And Then Came Love**, Thank You and I hope you continue reading it. Thanks to **singdance**, **DaleSnail**, **Bluebear48**, **Nelle07**, and **steff777** for the reviews on Chapter 12.

**Than To Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter 13**

Tired from everything in the past couple weeks Kaelyn was happy to be able to get away for the day. She, Serena, Blair, and the newly returned home Jenny found themselves at the spa relaxing for the day. Serena had her baby who was a beautiful little blonde girl that she named Amanda. Jenny had just returned home after working for a year in Paris as a international fashion consultant for a television program, but she was very eager to return home epically after she and Nate were finally engaged. Kaelyn was ready to finally be on track with her marriage. Chuck had come home after being released from the hospital and everything had been going great for the two of them and since they hadn't had one fight, but the only problem for her was when she had to break it off with Damien. He had come over not expecting Chuck to be there and Kaelyn took him in the kitchen and broke the news to him that they would no longer be together. She was surprised at how good he had taken the news, but she was happy that he had parted in peace.

"Finally I get to relax." Kaelyn said as she sat with her eyes closed while her temples were being massaged.

"Tell me about it. Just one day out of the house with the screaming kids and I am happy." Serena commented while getting her nails manicured. Serena adored both of her children, but William was having a little bout with jealousy after they bought Amanda home and he had been acting out at every chance he got and it was driving Serena crazy to have to deal with him when Amanda was crying.

"I'm happy with my one kid." Blair said.

"Me too." Kaelyn commented. "Just last night Chuck was saying he wants more kids and I am like hell no. Maybe one, but he wants at least three more and he has lost his mind."

"Stop it you guys are scaring me about having kids." Jenny then blurted out.

"It's not as horrible as we make it sound. We just make it sound horrible when we are tired and need a break like today." Serena said. "You will do great as a mom. You did fantastic babysitting Will while Dan and I took Manda to her check-up. Now Will keeps begging for you to come back."

"I'm just a little apprehensive." Jenny said. "I'm getting married in four months and after that having kids. It seems so amazing yet so scary."

"It does at first, but you ease into it." Blair said.

"Well it's easy for you since you've been married three times." Kaelyn said with a laugh.

"But to only two different men." Blair said poorly in her defense.

"At least we are all happy." Serena said.

"Finally." Kaelyn commented.

"So truthfully everything has been good for you and Chuck?" Blair asked.

"Truthfully." Kaelyn said with a smile. "We have been taking time for each other and talking about things and not trying to rush and it seems like everything is falling into its right place." She said with an extremely cheerful tone.

"I'm glad." Jenny then commented. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you then."

"It's fine. I'm good now and that's all that matters." Kaelyn said happily.

-

Sitting on the living room couch Kaleyn sat going through some ad proposals for the magazine. The day had been particularly warm so she sat in a very thin and short sun dress as she sat alone on the couch. Chuck had been in pain from his wound and had taken pain medications and was asleep while Katherine was out for the day with Jenny who was also keeping William for Serena. Kaelyn suddenly felt extremely nauseous and made her way quickly into the bathroom. She had noticed that for a few days she had been feeling particularly ill with not just nausea, but headaches and she was feeling bloated and there were other things that caught her attention. The big thing that bothered her was this was exactly how she felt when pregnant with Katherine and the thought of her being pregnant scared her because in her mind she knew that Damien could be the father of the baby as well as Chuck. Banishing the thought from her mind she rinsed her mouth and went to walk down the hall when she heard her name called.

"Kay." It was Chuck's voice. Changing her direction Kaelyn turned and walked into the bedroom where Chuck sat on the bed with a smile her way. Kaelyn smiled back and walked over to him and sat on the bed next to him. She felt his arm loop around her waist and pull her close. She felt his face in her hair as she sat and the thought crept in her mind and she banish it, but it stayed. "Mmm you used the strawberry shampoo, you know I like that one." He whispered into her ear.

"I know." She said as she moved and turned his way, but she wasn't smiling.

"What's wrong?" he then asked looking at her face as she sat with tears now coming from her eyes.

"I'm scared." She said as she tried her hardest to not break into sobs.

"Baby tell me." He said with his arms around her holding her close.

"I think, I think...I think…" she was stuttering in fear as she choked out sobs.

"You think what?" he asked concerned.

"I think I'm pregnant." She blurted out at once before completely breaking down into uncontrollable sobs.

"What's so bad about that?" he asked in a cheerful tone to attempt and cheer her up.

"The baby might not be yours." She then said as she then looked at him in the eyes. His eyes suddenly widened as he looked at her. "I'm sorry." She then cried.

"No it's alright. We will get through this." He said as he pulled her close again and rocked her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." She then started to repeat.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. We had problems and we both sought out other people. It's going to work out alright." He said as he held her.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you." He said as he looked in her eyes and pulled her in for a kiss.

-

Walking out of the doctor's office Kaelyn's fear had been confirmed and she was now lost to what to do. She wasn't sure if she should tell Damien or just wait until the doctor said it would be safe to do a paternity test. Thinking back to the relationship she had with Damien she realized that in her desperation to be loved she hadn't taken any type of precautions when sleeping with him. She hadn't been on birth control since she got out of college because while in school she and Chuck had discussed that they wouldn't have kids until after. She nor Damien had ever stopped to at least use a condom and now she was here not knowing if she was pregnant by her husband or the man she was sleeping with while she and her husband were separated. Kaelyn had finally made it to her Aunt's apartment. When she made it inside she was greeted, but not just Lily, but by Serena who sat with Amanda in her arms. Kaelyn gave both of them a weak smile as she walked in and sat down on the couch next to Serena. Both women looked at Kaelyn and immediately knew something was wrong.

"What happened?" Lily immediately asked as she walked to Kaelyn who already had tears falling down her face.

"I'm pregnant." Kaelyn said softly as she held back her sobs.

"That's a good thing." Lily then said.

"I don't know it its Chuck's or Damien's." she then admitted.

"Oh my." Serena said putting a hand over her mouth.

"Does either of them know?" Lily asked.

"Chuck does." Kaelyn said. "He knows everything. I'm not sure if I should tell Damien now or when it's time for the paternity test" Kaelyn said as she wiped away her tears.

"Wait until the test. So you won't get his hopes up." Lily then said.

"Yeah, I think that would work best." Serena said.

"I'm just scared that if it is Damien's then me and Chuck might have another falling out and it scares me so much. I can't let that happen. I love him too much to lose him again." She said as she then choked out a sob. Lily hugged her immediately.

"You've always got us." Lily said.

"Thanks." Kaelyn said as she did her best to stop crying. "Well I better go. Chuck is supposed to meet me for lunch." She said as she stood and smoothed out her dress. "I'll see both of you later."

Sitting in the restaurant Kaelyn was at a loss for words. She had told Chuck everything the doctor said and she could tell he didn't know what to say either. Everything that Kaelyn thought about their marriage now was horrible because she felt like if the baby wasn't his then they wouldn't be able to last. With all her heart she didn't know what to do if they weren't together. She knew Damien would be there immediately, but she also knew that the love he gave her was nothing like the love that she and Chuck had and she would be missing something in her heart.

"It seems like when things get good something bad always has to happen." Kaelyn then said as she broke the silence.

"Everything is going to be alright." Chuck then said as he took her hand into his. "I love you too much."

"But can you love me to deal with me having another's man's baby?" Kaelyn asked.

"I…I…" Chuck sat with nothing to say.

"That's my problem." Kaelyn said looking down at the table. "I don't want to lose us again. I can't have my life turned upside down again. I don't want Kat to suffer in this and I don't know what to do about it." Kaelyn took her napkin and wiped her tears. "I'm just plain scared."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** Wow it has been a REALLY long time, but I have a good excuse. First off I was on a train for 2 days from California to Chicago to attend a weeks long Harry Potter fan conference and then I took the train back to California. Then after that I had just 2 weeks to pack to move from the California Bay Area to Very Northern California. I am now settled in here at my new place where I will be living and studying for the next 3 years. While here I don't have a TV, but lucky for youtube I can keep up with Gossip Girl and with money I got the dvd of season one. Sorry about it taking so long, but I would like to thank those who reviewed on the last chapter: **DaleSnail**, **Singdance**, **Bluebear48**, and **DamNDomsMommy**.

**Than To Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter 14**

Kaelyn sat on the floor with Katherine who was coloring, well at least attempting to. The past weeks had been an emotional rollercoaster for Kaelyn who knew that every single day it got closer to when she could have a paternity test done to determine who was the father of her baby. Watching Katherine she smiled as Katherine turned to show her the paper that she had filled with colorful scribbles. Kaelyn ran her fingers through Katherine's now shoulder length dark brown hair. She then looked up to see Chuck walking into the living room with a smile on his face. He walked and sat down next to Kaelyn on the floor and put an arm around her waist.

"Good morning." He breathed softly in her ear.

"Morning." Kaelyn said before turning and kissing him.

"Daddy, yook!" Katherine said happily as she picked her paper back up and showed it to Chuck.

"That's pretty." He said to Katherine who just giggled and started adding more scribbles of color to the paper. "Your appointment is this afternoon right?"

"Yeah." Kaelyn said softly as she kept her eyes down on Katherine.

"You sure you don't want me there?" Chuck asked.

"I'm sure I don't want you there." Kaelyn responded. "My aunt is coming and I will be fine. You've already submitted your DNA so now it's the baby's turn. I'm going to do good."

"Just making sure." Chuck said before he started to kiss Kaelyn's neck softly.

Kaelyn sat in a hospital gown on a cold examination table. She had been trembling in fear since she left the apartment. She looked next to her to see Lily giving her a sympathetic look from the chair next to the table. Closing her eyes all Kaelyn could do was pray that the results came out the way that was the best for her family. The nurse entered the room with all the tools they would need and Kaelyn started to tremble even more than she already was.

Exhausted by the time she got home Kaelyn went straight to bed when she came home from the doctor's office. It didn't take too long for the test and it wasn't that difficult it was mostly Kaelyn's 

nerves that kept her body working and made it so tired. Even though she was so tired Kaelyn found herself just starring at the ceiling and just feeling so apprehensive even though she knew it would be about a week before they got the official results. She starred at the ceiling until she heard the bedroom door open and there was little Katherine walking into the room with Chuck right behind her.

"Show mommy what you found." Chuck said as he left Katherine on the bed and Katherine crawled across to Kaelyn and showed her about three flowers.

"Thank you baby." Kaelyn said with a smile as she sat up in bed and pulled Katherine into her lap. "These are pretty."

"Yes!" Katherine exclaimed happily.

"We had went for a walk and she picked them in the park." Chuck said as he got onto the bed and sat next to Kaelyn putting his arm around her shoulder. "How was the test?" he asked turning to her.

"Hard." Kaelyn said looking at Katherine who was playing with the flowers. "Nerve-wracking and scary." She said with a shrug.

"I'm sure everything is going to be fine." Chuck said running his fingers through her hair.

"What if it's not?" questioned Kaelyn with tears in her eyes. "I'm scared out of my mind." She said.

"We wait until that time comes." Chuck said.

"I just don't want to lose us again." Kaelyn said leaning onto his shoulder. "That's what scares me the most."

"Mommy, Yook!" shouted Katherine who was now shoving the flowers in her mouth.

"No baby." Kaelyn said as once as she grabbed the flowers and did her best to get what was on her mouth out.

"I'll take care of it, just rest." Chuck said as he picked up Katherine and took her into the bathroom.

-

Nearly a week had passed and Kaelyn found herself in an office across from the doctor who did the DNA testing. She was trembling in her seat as she watched him unseal the envelope. Lily sat next to her holding her hand as Kaelyn waited to her from the doctor. The entire week had gone by in such slow motion for her that it drove her insane. She tried to keep herself busy and not think about it but every single time she attempted to keep herself occupied she found herself again apprehensive and just plain scared. It also for some reason just annoyed her that Chuck was trying to be so positive about everything. Even though she knew that positivity was what she needed it just bothered her that he wasn't up in arms over everything that was going on. Now though for her it was the moment of truth when she would find out everything and basically how her future was going to move.

"Well then Kaelyn after taking DNA samples from your husband, you, and your unborn child it has been concluded by extensive DNA testing that your husband is not the father of your unborn child." The doctor said with a very sympathetic look on his face, but the look on his face wasn't going to keep Kaelyn's world from falling apart.

"Okay." She breathed trying to keep her composure and not let everything come crashing down at once. "Thank you for your services." She said as she stood.

"You are welcome." The doctor answered before Kaelyn turned and with Lily right behind her they were out the door.

Kaelyn could feel her breathing becoming very quick and she felt as if everything was spinning around her as she continued to walk with no regard for anyone in her way and made it into the elevator. As she stood in the elevator tears started to stream down her face as if her face of Niagara Falls.

"Kaelyn, dear." Lily said a she put her arm around Kaelyn.

"I…I.." Kaelyn simply was at a complete loss for words. All of her fears had rushed into her body at once time and now she realized she was going to have to go home with the news she didn't want to go home with. "I…I…don't know what to do." She finally said getting words out of her mouth.

"Let's just get you home, okay." Lily said as she helped Kaelyn into the car that was waiting for them outside of the medical building.

Sitting alone in the darkness of her bedroom Kaelyn looked straight ahead at her wall and let out a single long ear piercing scream as she took the vase from the nightstand and threw it against the wall. She watched as the contents from the vase splattered against the wall and the pieces the formed the vase flew in various directions from the spot that it had come in contact with on the wall.

"Kaelyn!" Came Lily's voice as she sprinted into the room to find Kaelyn just sitting there as she had done hours before when she first had come home after finding out the results.

"I want to die." Kaelyn said simply with no emotion at all in her voice.

"No you don't." Lily said as she rushed to Kaelyn and put an arm around her. "I'm for sure everything will work out. Chuck loves you and this won't hurt your family.

"He doesn't love me that much." Kaelyn said.

"I'm sure he does." Lily said.

"He doesn't, he didn't love me that much when he continuously fought with me. He didn't love me that much when he cheated on me and he didn't love me that much when he left me and our daughter for another woman. He doesn't love me that much." Kaelyn said plainly.

"Well we will find out. He called and he is on the way home." Lily said.

"I'm not ready for this." Kaelyn said before she choked out a sob that had been sitting on her throat for a while. "I'm not ready at all to face my husband and tell him the baby I am carrying….isn't his."

**A/N:** I decided to do a few more chapters of this story, but there will be a sequel. The sequel though will be like a Gossip Girl second generation and mainly focus on the kids that I have started to introduce in this story.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Thanks to the following for the great reviews:

**Than To Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter 15**

It wasn't long after Kaelyn was informed that Chuck was actually home. She could hear from the bedroom as he came though the front door. For one she knew he was back because he heard Katherine's high pitched little voice as she incoherently rambled on about something. Kaelyn smiled to herself at hearing her daughter's voice, but then the fear that had been sitting with her took the smile directly from her face and she had then started to tremble. Taking deep breaths she wanted to stay as calm as she possibly could while she told her husband the horrible news that she knew he wasn't prepared to hear. Kaelyn then stood from the bed and made her way down the hall. The voices in the living room were now growing louder to her and she did a motion as if she were clutching her heart. In the hall right before the staircase she regained her composure with a quick smile and started down the case with the fake happiness erupting from her body.

"Hey!" she said in a very high pitched croak. The croak of a voice she always had after crying and immediately Chuck's head turned towards her with concern on his face.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Just fine." She then croaked again feeling a sob sitting in her chest.

"How about I take Kat for ice cream." Lily said as she picked up the little girl on the couch whose face had lit up with the prospect of ice cream.

"I Team!" cheered Katherine happily.

"Yep let's go get some." Lily said as she picked up her purse and walked out of the front door with Katherine in her arms clapping away.

As soon as the door was shut Chuck then spoke. "You got the results today?" he questioned.

"Yeah." Breathed Kaelyn in immediate fear as she her body again began to tremble and shake. "I'm sorry." She said as her body then collapsed to the floor and she sat leaning against the couch with tears streaming from her eyes and down her face.

"The baby isn't mine." Chuck said in conclusion as Kaelyn nodded.

"I'm so sorry." She cried as she began to repeat the same phrase over and over again.

"No need to be. We are going to be alright." He said as she got on the floor next to her and held her body against his. "I promise. I love you." He spoke in a whisper in her ear.

Waking up after a nap Kaelyn squinted as she noticed the sun was still out meaning it was still the same horrible day she had been in. She felt now as if she was trapped in this single day that wouldn't end for her. She then realized she was being held and she turned her body in the arms holding her to see Chuck looking at her.

"Are you alright?" he asked in a whisper.

"No." Kaelyn whispered back before he took a hand and started to stroke her face. Pulling her closer he gave her a kiss.

"We will work everything out." Chuck said. Kaelyn's only response was a shrug before she found his chest of her head and snuggled into that one spot to let the tears flow from her eyes.

-

Getting through the next few days had been the hardest for both Kaelyn and Chuck. Kaelyn knew for a fact he was upset and he tried his best to cover it up, but she knew him well enough that she knew he was extremely upset. Kaelyn though wasn't the type of person to hide that she was that upset and it tore her apart. What then had started to scare her was the fact that she had to tell Damien about the baby.

Sitting alone at the kitchen table Kaelyn flipped through the newest issue of her magazine that had just been dropped that morning and her assistant had one sent right over to her. She loved to do the normally everyday thing like any other person and read a magazine, even her magazine. She wanted to experience it in full print just like the average person experienced it. She heard footsteps and looked up to see Chuck walking into the dining room fixing his tie.

"Morning." Kaelyn said softly. He gave her a completely fake smile as he passed her and took his seat at the table. Kaelyn let out a sigh and held in the tears that she felt coming. The night before they had gotten into their first fight over the matter and it was a pretty bad one that Georgia took Katherine on a late night ice cream trip. "We need to talk about it." Kaelyn then stated plainly.

"We will, but right now I am not in the mood." Chuck said as he opened up the morning paper.

"Okay, sorry." Kaelyn said as she stood from the table with her magazine and left the dining room. Going up the stairs she went towards Katherine's room where she was still fast asleep. Kaelyn stood over the crib and looked down at her little girl. She knew that Katherine hadn't been phased by what happened before when Chuck left, but she didn't know what would happen if he left again. After the fight Kaelyn's biggest fear had returned that she was going to leave again and this time, probably not come back. A single tear fell from her eye and she quickly wiped it away. After everything she was just sick of crying, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't help, but cry. Now that she and Chuck were fighting the tears came more often.

Kaelyn pulled up the blanket to cover up Katherine's little body before she left the room leaving her little girl to sleep. As she left the room she heard the front door close knowing that Chuck had left for the day. It was now just too much for her to handle. She didn't want to lose her marriage over the matter, but she knew that it was a possibility. Walking down the hall she walked into her office and sat down in the office chair. She opened the drawer and pulled out the custom-made '_Kaelyn and Charles Bass'_ stationary. Setting the paper in front of her she let out a sigh and took a pen to the paper.

_Dear Damien,_

_Firstly, I feel horrible about how the sequence of events happened to where you had no idea originally that Chuck and I had gotten back together, but then you and I had spoken about when it was going to happen and that you would just let things be. I thank you for letting things be and I consider you a true gentleman who helped me though a rough time. I pray that you will find someone and I am sure the two of you will be happy because you have truly been an amazing man. Secondly, I want to thank you again because you have simply not just been an amazing man to me, but to my daughter. I know that Katherine mostly wasn't fazed by everything going on around her, but I thank you for simply showing her the attention she needed. Even though I had found happiness I knew I still wasn't completely functioning as a parent and you were pretty much a parent to her in that time and I thank you from the bottom of my heart._

_Now I come to the part that I was afraid to get to so quickly. Together you and I have some great times that including no less than amazing sex, but sometimes good sex has its consequences and it definitely did for you and I. I know that you have no idea what I am talking about in this moment, but I know that I must tell you. Not long ago I discovered I was pregnant. With this discovery I knew that there was a 50/50 change for either you or Chuck to be the father. I didn't want to alarm you so I had a DNA paternity test performed that tested the baby's DNA against Chuck and to our family disappointment he was not the father and the only other option is you. Damien you are the father of the child I am carrying._

_So now I cannot even explain to you how scared I am. We went our own ways in a pretty much good place, but here we are with me carrying your baby just as my husband and I are now working things out. I can tell you that the whole working things out has now gone South and I find myself everyday praying that God keeps my marriage together because with this new discovery it is once again falling apart. _

_There is no doubt that I want you to be a part of this child's life if you please. You completely have the right to see the baby and have a relationship with this baby and I hope that you can. Now there is really not much for me to say, but that I knew I had to tell you this information. You have been a good friend and I hope you can be a great father to this baby, for one I know for sure that you can be. If you have any questions please call me and I will give you as much information on the baby that I have._

_Love,_

_Kaelyn Bass_

Looking down at the letter she had just written a tear fell down Kaelyn's cheek because it was the first time she had truly acknowledged that her marriage was in fact falling apart once again. Grabbing an envelope from the drawer she sealed the letter inside and wrote Damien's address on the outside before picking up the phone to call a delivery service to have the letter hand delivered to Damien as fast as it could be.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** Thanks a bunches for the review: **Likewow5556**

**Than To Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter 16**

It seemed like everything was all wrong to Kaelyn. She sat with Katherine on her lap as she looked through finance records in her office. Georgia had a family emergency and Kaelyn let her go tend to her family while she dealt with Katherine herself. Life at home was just to mixed up. The relationship between Kaelyn and Chuck had gone in reverse, they were now back to where they were fighting nearly everyday. Kaelyn was just plain upset about how everything was going. Sitting there a single tear fell from Kaelyn's eye.

"Daddy!" cheered Katherine and Kaelyn looked up to see Chuck walking into her office. Katherine had her arms lifted for him to pick her up and he did as he approached them.

"Hey baby girl." Chuck said as he held Katherine close. "I thought I'd take her for a while since Georgia is out."

"Thanks." Kaelyn said softly as she tried her best not to cry.

"I'll see you at home later." Chuck said plainly.

"Yeah, see you. Bye Baby." Kaelyn said.

"Bye, Bye." Katherine said as Chuck carried her out of the room.

Kaelyn put her face in her hands and let the tears fall from her eyes. She just couldn't take the stress anymore and she knew that being stressed the way she was wasn't got for the baby at all. Taking a few deep breaths she wiped her tears away because she knew that even though her life was crap she still had a magazine to run and it wasn't going to run itself and she needed to be in top shape to get everything that needed to be done, done in time for deadlines. Looking back down at the finance documents in front of her she took her pen and signed where her signature was needed when the voice of her new intern was over the intercom.

"Mrs. Bass you have a visitor." The intern said. The only issue Kaelyn had was that the intern still needed to learn the names of the people who come in and out of her office and just saying she had a visitor was never enough, but she remembered in college her internship is what got her into the business and all the work experience you could get helped so much.

"Alright, let them in." Kaelyn said as she put the documents she had signed back in the folder and on the cart for the accountant to come and pick up. She looked up and walking into her office was Damien. He still looked the same with the rugged looking shadow on his face and the irresistible smile that always took her breath away. "Damien."

"Hey Kay." He said keeping that irresistible smile on his face as he made his way towards Kaelyn's desk.

"I didn't think you'd come. I sent the letter weeks ago." Kaelyn said.

Damien took a seat in the chair that was in front of Kaelyn's desk. "It took me a minute to realize that it was all real. I at first was so angry and I couldn't come and see you like that so then I gave myself time to calm down." He said looking at Kaelyn and letting his eyes scan her body. "So, we're having a baby."

"Yeah." Kaelyn said with a small laugh before she stood so Damien could see the size of her stomach.

"How far are you?" Damien asked.

"Four months." Kaelyn said as she rubbed her bump.

"I came to check on you. You didn't seem happy at all in your letter and you don't look it. You've been crying." Damien said as he stood and walked over to her and put his arms around her.

"It's just a lot to handle right now, but I'm doing okay." Kaelyn said with a small shrug.

"Just okay…Kaelyn you are supposed to be joyful when you are pregnant." Damien said.

"And where can I find that joy, Damien?" Kaelyn asked as she looked at him seriously.

"You and Chuck, not good I'm guessing." Damien said as she started to run his fingers through her hair.

"That obvious?" Kaelyn asked as she felt herself being drawn closer to Damien.

"Too obvious. Kaelyn if you aren't happy you need to leave." Damien then said.

Kaelyn quickly pulled away from her and starred him in the eyes. "Leave?" she questioned and Damien simply nodded. "Damien I can't just leave. I'm 4 months pregnant with a daughter who is nearly 2. I'm not just going to get up and leave my husband."

"Why not?" Damien then asked, but he spoke before Kaelyn could respond. "He just got up and left you, remember?"

"This is different." Kaelyn then said.

"No it's not. He just left you and now I know he is just making you feel like trash I see it in your eyes. You need to be strong and leave him." Damien stated plainly.

"You make him sound horrible. He isn't a horrible man. We just aren't going through a good time right now."

"He should be supporting you and making you feel like the queen you are, but he isn't and I can see it in your eyes. Kaelyn just leave. I'm here and you know I will never hurt you."

Kaelyn then walked towards the door and opened it. "You have to leave." She stated.

"I will, but just call me Kay. I want to be apart of this baby's life and yours only if you are ready to leave." Damien said as he walked towards the door. He put his hand on Kaelyn's stomach for a second and then he walked out the door leaving Kaelyn standing there.

-

Kaelyn found herself in the situation that she had been in nearly every night. She and Chuck stood across from one another in the living room yelling seemingly as loud as they could over nothing that big, but for some reason it was huge in that moment because in the end it came to her being pregnant and then random things were just brought into this simple subject that they had no reason to fight over in the first place. There were tears falling from Kaelyn's eyes as she stood there with him yelling.

"JUST STOP!" Kaelyn screamed as she looked at him. "Why are we fighting?" Kaelyn then just asked in a surprisingly calm voice.

"Because you wanted to bring up some stupid shit." Growled Chuck in an agitated tone.

"You are the one who wanted to fight over it Chuck." Kaelyn then said. "I asked a simple question and here we are arguing. I'm just tired as hell and I'm stressed out beyond reason. Please I don't want to fight over this anymore."

"Whatever then I'm going to bed." Chuck then said as he moved towards the stairs.

Kaelyn stood her breathing rushed as she started to feel light headed. She sat down slowly on the couch realizing that she shouldn't be feeling like this especially while carrying a child. Damien's voice was suddenly in her head from a few days before she he had told her that she should leave. "I just can't do this anymore." Kaelyn then said as she turned to Chuck who was just about to walk up the stairs.

"Can't do what Kaelyn?" he asked.

"This." Kaelyn stated. "Trying to make this work. All the fighting. I'm carrying a baby and this stress isn't helping me stay healthy of the baby and then have you even tried to see how us fighting might affect Katherine."

"Why are you making this about me?" Chuck then asked.

"I was asking a question. I wasn't making it just about you. It's about me to." Kaelyn then said.

"You said, have YOU even tried." He then stated with the agitation and anger coming back into his voice. Kaelyn then wished she hadn't said anything. Chuck had already had a few drinks that night and he can fight and fight if he has been drinking.

"I'm dropping it." Kaelyn then said. "Just go to bed."

"No, we aren't going to fucking drop it because here you go again making it what I did wrong." Chuck then said as he turned to walk back down the stairs. "Let's talk about what you did wrong. How about you sleeping with that piece of shit in the first place and getting your ass pregnant, how about that?"

"Just stop." Kaelyn said frustrated. "I've already told you how sorry I am for what I did and we agreed to move on even after you left me and our daughter for your assistant I stuck it out with you and we agreed as husband and wife to move on from our mistakes. I am sick of fighting about it and if you don't want to move on I will." Kaelyn then stood and started up stairs.

"Where the hell are you going?" Chuck asked.

"Away!" Kaelyn then yelled from the top of the stairs as she made her way into the bedroom and into the closet where she grabbed a suitcase. Putting it on the bed she started to throw some of her clothes inside. Chuck walked into the room to find Kaelyn grabbing clothes.

"You aren't serious?" he asked with a laugh.

"I am. I'm leaving you." Kaelyn said as she pushed past him to go into Katherine's room to get some of Katherine's things. Coming back she held a small pile of Katherine's clothes and she put them in the suitcase and zipped it up. She picked up her cell phone and called down to the doorman. "This is Kaelyn Bass. I need a car to take me to my Aunt's…Thank You." She said before throwing her phone in her purse and picking up the suitcase from the bed and putting it on the floor where she rolled it behind her.

"Kaelyn please you can't be serious." He then said as he grabbed her arm. "I love you and I'm sorry you just can't leave."

"Why can't I?" she then questioned. "You just left so I think I have the right to just leave. So watch me." She said as she ripped her arm away and went out the room with her suitcase. Luckily Katherine was already with Lily so Kaelyn didn't have to deal with her daughter being wrapped in the moment. Kaelyn left Chuck standing in shock in the bedroom.

Walking outside the cold air it her face as Kaelyn held in her tears. The driver put her suitcase in the car while Kaelyn got in the backseat. Sitting back she held her tears during the short ride to her aunt's. When there the driver unloaded her suitcase and the doorman there took it for her. Making her way to the apartment she knocked on the door and Lily opened.

"Kaelyn. I thought I was bringing Kat to you tomorrow?" Lily asked. Kaelyn didn't have any words that were able to escape her mouth. She simply burst into tears. "Oh no. Kaelyn what happened?" Lily asked as she pulled Kaelyn into the apartment and closed the door behind her.

"I left him." Kaelyn then finally said as she sat on the couch. "I just couldn't take all the fighting and the blame and I just left." She cried.

"Mommy!" came a little voice. Kaelyn looked up to see Katherine running towards her.

"Hey, Hey baby girl." Kaelyn said as she quickly wiped her tears away and picked up Katherine.

"Mommy, sad." Katherine said as she looked at Kaelyn's face.

"Oh baby girl. Mommy is gonna be alright, okay?" Kaelyn said feeling as if her heart had been pulled into a million pieces as she looked at the face of her little girl who she knew was seriously concerned.

"O-tay." Katherine said as she hugged Kaelyn.

"Awe, my baby." Kaelyn said actually smiling through her tears because she knew that no matter what she had her little girl with her always.

"Go get the pictures you drew for mommy." Lily said to Katherine who then wiggled from Kaelyn's arms and ran as fast as her little feet could take her into the other room where she returned with a pile of papers. Kaelyn laughed at the multicolored blobs of figures that Kaelyn could only imagine were people to Katherine.

"Mommy." Katherine said as she pointed to a blob. "Me." She then pointed to the smallest of the blobs. "Daddy." Katherine pointed to the last one happily. Kaelyn felt tears in her eyes as she looked at the family portrait that Katherine had made. She loved that they were just random blobs, but in the end they were people that meant so much to Katherine. What Kaelyn could imagine to be the sky was a mix of red and green and what was maybe meant to be the ground was purple.

"It's pretty." Kaelyn said as she held her little girl close to her.

"I'm guessing you are staying here." Lily said to Kaelyn.

"Yeah." Kaelyn said.

"Your old bedroom is always free. That's where I have Katherine sleeping." Lily said.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Kaelyn said before gasping and putting a hand to her stomach.

"What is it?" Lily asked.

"The baby is kicking." Kaelyn said happily. "I finally named her today."

"Go ahead." Lily said.

"Lizzette Marie." Kaelyn said happily.

"That's a beautiful name." Lily said. "Does Chuck like it?"

"We haven't even spoken about it. We barely ever talk about the baby besides when we are fighting about something." Kaelyn said with a sigh. "I just want to be happy and it looks like lately that happy is without him."

"Where ever happy is, that's where you and Katherine belong." Lily said.

"Thanks." Kaelyn said with a yawn. "Well we better get to bed."


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Thanks to **Nelle07** and **Likewow5556** for the Chapter 16 reviews

**Than To Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter 17**

Waking up Kaelyn yawned and opened her eyes before shutting them quickly as the sun was peeking through the windows. Finally opening her eyes all the way Kaelyn realized her surroundings and then everything that happened the night before rushed to her. Sitting up she realized that Katherine wasn't in the bed with her like the night before as the two of them slept in the bed of her old bedroom where she spent most of her last two years of high school when she moved to New York after she assumed both of her parents died in a car crash, but later learning her dad had murdered her mom. Slipping out of the bed she glanced at the clock realizing what time it was she gasped and quickly grabbed her robe from her suitcase. She put on her robe as best she could since her stomach grew a bit everyday her robe didn't fit as well anymore. Walking into the living room she looked around not seeing anyone, but she heard voices in the dining area and walking in there she saw her Aunt sitting at the table with Katherine sitting next to her.

"Mommy!" Katherine said happily as she hopped out of her chair and waddled over to Kaelyn who picked her up.

"Aunt Lily it's nearly 10 o'clock I was supposed to be in my office at 8 this morning." Kaelyn said as she walked over to the table and sat down.

"I called and said you were ill. Kaelyn you can't just throw yourself into your work to ignore things, you need to handle them and not mask the pain with work." Lily said.

"I know, but…I just can't ignore my job. I'm the editor and there is so much to be done." Kaelyn said as she grabbed the spoon from the little pink bowl of oatmeal and continued to feed Katherine.

"Just rest today. You really need it, for your baby." Lily said to Kaelyn who just nodded in agreement. "Chuck called, about a million times. I just told him you were asleep every time."

Kaelyn didn't respond for a moment. She simply just looked down at her bowl and let out a sigh. "I don't know what to do. I seriously don't think our marriage can survive, but I can't just end it. We have a child and how is her life going to be with her parents not being together. I don't think I could do that to her."

"I know it seems selfish, but sometimes you have to do what is best for you and if that involves leaving him then you do it." Lily then said to Kaelyn who sat there looking down at the table as tears formed in her eyes.

Inside Kaelyn knew that if things continued that would be the best option for her, but in the end it might also be for Katherine who was subject to seeing them fight everything and Kaelyn wasn't going to have her daughter be in a home where her parents were at each other's throats every day over something stupid and when the baby comes the baby was going to be in that situation and Kaelyn couldn't bear it. Tears started to fall from Kaelyn's eyes.

"Kaelyn, dear…" Lily started.

"You're right and in the end I know it's best for my kids." Kaelyn then said as she inhaled attempting to stop herself from crying since Katherine was sitting on her lap and looking up at her with concern on her little face. "I'm alright baby. Nana Lily is going to take care of you while mommy goes home to pick some stuff up."

"Daddy?" Katherine said in a voice as if she was asking Kaelyn if she was going to go home to get Chuck.

"No not daddy." Kaelyn said. "Can you watch her for a couple hours?" Kaelyn asked as she turned to Lily.

"Of course." Lily said to Kaelyn who was already putting Katherine back at her original place at the table.

"Mommy will be back." Kaelyn said as she kissed Katherine on the cheek before rushing back to the bedroom where she showed quickly and dressed.

When she walked into the apartment it was silent and it seemed like everything was left the same way it was when Kaelyn had left the night before. In the living room her folders were still on the table just the way she had left them. Walking to the table Kaelyn picked up her folders and placed them into her tote bag that was still sitting on the couch just the way it had been. She was just nearly finished putting her folders in her bag when she heard her name.

"Kaelyn you're back. I was scared you weren't coming back." The voice said and Kaelyn knew it was Chuck. She turned to him and looked up at him as he stood at the top of the stairs. He was still in his clothes from the night before. Kaelyn took a deep breath because it was just too much in the moment.

"I'm not coming back. I just need some things for myself and Katherine for now until I can get all my things moved out." Kaelyn said seriously as she held in her tears.

"Kaelyn you're not serious." Chuck then said as he quickly made his way down the stairs. He stood in front of Kaelyn as she nodded. "No Kay, I'm sorry please we can't just end." He said as he grabbed her into his arms.

"I can't handle it anymore. I just can't do it. I'm sorry, so sorry." Kaelyn said as she moved out of his arms and started to walk towards the stairs.

"Please I can't live without you." Chuck then said as Kaelyn could hear in his voice that he was crying. Kaelyn suddenly started to breathe hard as she tried her best not to turn around and look at him because she knew she was going to cry and that if she saw him she wouldn't be able to go through it with. She then started up the stairs. "Kay. Sweetie please don't."

Kaelyn now stood in Katherine's room with tears falling down her face. She quickly packed as many of Katherine's things as she could. Taking a deep breath and wiping her tears away she walked up the hall to her office where she put her laptop into its bag and grabbed any important folders before then making it to the bedroom where Chuck was standing and looking at her with tears falling from his face. Kaelyn couldn't look at him so she looked at the floor as she made her way to the closet and pulled out a large suitcase where she started to put some of her clothes into. Most of the clothes she grabbed were things she could wear to her office, but she grabbed a few casual things as well. She tried to block out everything around her as she packed her things.

"Kay. I know you don't want to do this. I can't just live life without you in it. Please don't leave." Chuck said as he walked into the closet where Kaelyn suddenly stopped and she turned to him with tears falling from her eyes.

"The thing is I do want to do this. I want to do this because I don't want to live everyday on a roller coaster. I don't want to wait for fight to start and I don't want Katherine to have to see us like this. We've lived apart before and I am sure we can do it again." Kaelyn said as she stood there and looked at him as he looked taken aback. "I'm doing this for me. I'm leaving you. We can work out things with you getting Kat on some days. I will have my lawyer set up a mediation so we can handle the divorce quietly and peacefully."

"Kaelyn, you don't mean this." He said as he walked to her and stood right in front of her taking his hand and stroking her face.

Kaelyn quickly moved away. "I do mean this. It's over between us. No matter how much this tears me up inside I know it's for the best in the end." She then zipped up the suitcase. She then choked out a sob before looking at him. "If you love me you will let me go, please."

"Kay…" he started, but then moved out of the way. Kaelyn rolled the suitcase behind her as she reached the stairs where the other bags were she stopped and called the doorman to have someone come up to get the bags. She turned as she walked down the stairs to see Chuck standing at the stairs. She turned away and then made her way out of the apartment and downstairs where she waited in the limo for her bags.

-

Two whole weeks had passed since she had moved out and everyday was a bit easier. Sitting in her office she had a meeting with her lawyer who had drawn up all the paperwork for the divorce. She couldn't believe after that long they were ending it, but she knew she couldn't go back to where she was. In the past two weeks after getting over the trauma of actually moving out she actually feeling happy and actually smiling a smile that wasn't completely fake. She had found a place that was perfect for herself, Katherine, and the baby.

"So the mediation is next Wednesday at noon, but you should come to the office about 10 so we can go over everything before hand." Her lawyer said as he closed his briefcase.

"Alright, thanks." Kaelyn said as he took a deep breath. "Thanks so much for your services."

"You are always welcome." Her lawyer said as he stood. "See you Wednesday." Her lawyer then left her office. Kaelyn sat there completely at peace about everything. So far in the last two weeks things have worked out well for Chuck's visitation with Katherine who they set up will go with him every Tuesday, Sunday and every other Saturday. Kaelyn hadn't directly spoken to him and she knew that she wouldn't bear it at the time.

"Mrs. Bass, Mr. Martin is here to see you." Said Kaelyn's intern over the mic. That was another problem Kaelyn had been dwelling with. Pretty much so far all of her adult life she had been known as Mrs. Kaelyn Bass since they got married when they were 18, but now she didn't know if she wanted to keep her married name or go back to being Kaelyn Ryan a name she hadn't been called since she was 18.

"Thanks, send him in." Kaelyn said as she put her divorce paperwork in a folder.

"Hello pretty lady." Damien said as he walked in with a bouquet of Kaelyn's favorite flowers.

"Awe, thank you so much." Kaelyn said as she greeted him halfway and gave him a hug. Damien pulled her body closer to kiss while he planted kissed on her neck. "Damien." Kaelyn growled half annoyed. She and Damien had talked about getting back together, but she wasn't completely sure, but since then Damien had been acting as if they were an official couple. Kaelyn was annoyed with him for that, but she couldn't help, but love the feeling of being happy again.

"So how are you today and little Lizzette?" he asked as he put his hand on her stomach.

"Lizzette has been great, but I've been a little ill today." Kaelyn said as she looked up at Damien who smiled down at her before planting a kiss on her lips. "So you've got to see the new apartment I found. I think I will move in this week. Chuck has Katherine all weekend and so I think it's a perfect weekend to get moved in and situated."

"Kaelyn I was actually thinking." Damien started.

"Yeah?" Kaelyn questioned.

"I was thinking that you and Katherine could move in with me." Damien said.

"Damien your apartment is so small." Kaelyn said.

"I bought a house." He then said looking down at her with a smile.

"A house?" questioned Kaelyn.

"Yes, it's beautiful and big enough for all of us and the baby. There are just acres and acres of land with it." Damien said happily.

"Acres and acres of land, where is it?" Kaelyn asked.

"Vermont." Damien answered.

"Damien, I'm just going to move all the way to Vermont. I have a job and a life here in New York. I run a magazine, I can't do that all the way there." Kaelyn said looking at him and moving out from his arms. She couldn't believe he was thinking of asking her to move all the way to Vermont.

"Kaelyn it's perfect for us and the kids, like a place for a family." Damien said.

"My answer is no. I'm moving into my new apartment this weekend. A family can live perfectly fine there." Kaelyn answered as she walked back to her desk and sat down.

"Fine then New York is where the family will stay." Damien said giving in to Kaelyn. He walked behind her chair and started to massage her shoulders before he bent down to whisper in her ear, "So I hear a pregnancy side-effect is being extremely horny." He whispered

Kaelyn turned to him with her mouth wide open before then smiling slyly. "It is and it has been driving me crazy, maybe you can fix that tonight. I'm sure my aunt can keep Kat." Kaelyn said as she planted a very passionate kiss on Damien's lips.

"Sounds like a plan. Ms. Ryan." Damien said.

"Huh?" questioned Kaelyn.

"That's your maiden name right?" questioned Damien.

"Yeah it is." Kaelyn said.

"Well I figured it wasn't right to call you by your married name. A bit creepy don't you think since we are making plans to sleep together." Damien said with a slight laugh.

"Yeah it would be creepy. Thanks for that." Kaelyn said.

"No problem, love." Damien said before standing up. "I've got some photos to develop and then I will pick you up from your aunt's place tonight at about 7."

"Sounds perfect." Kaelyn said happily as she watched him leave her office.

Suddenly Kaelyn started to feel guilty. It has only been 2 weeks since she had decided to get a divorce and she was already sleeping with another guy. In rationalizing everything the guy is the father of her unborn child that she conceived while separated from Chuck, but then that was what their fights had been about. Kaelyn growled to herself as she sat at her desk. No matter what she figured she was going to been bad until the divorce was final and even after the mediation the finalizing of the divorce was going to take a few months. Closing her eyes she sighed because she realized that in the end her goal was to be happy and if that was with Damien then she wasn't going to stop anything from letting her be happy.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** Thanks to**Likewow5556** and** singdance** for the Chapter 17 reviews.

**Than to Ever Live Without You**

**Chapter 18**

Waking up next to Damien every morning had become something that once again Kaelyn loved. She felt like her relationship with him was safe and she loved the way he made her feel on a normal basis. Then there was a side of him that she was just seeing for the first time that was starting to scare her a little bit. Ever since he helped her move into her apartment he kept going on and on about the house he bought in Vermont and the way he talked about the apartment was that it was short term and he was moving them to his house and of course Kaelyn kept reminding him that it wasn't going to happen. Then there was the night before when Kaelyn had gone out to dinner with Serena, Blair, and Jenny. When she got home Damien was furious and very angry with Kaelyn for not telling him where she was going to be that night and he had even grabbed her in a violent way that scared her that night. In the end Kaelyn kept vanishing these frightening thoughts about Damien from her mind because she felt that even through his rage that he had every now and then he still loved her, Katherine, and the baby.

With Katherine in her arms Kaelyn stood in the elevator of her old apartment building as she took Katherine who was extremely excited to get to spend time with Chuck. Ever since that morning when Kaelyn had mentioned to Katherine that she was going to see her dad she was so excited to be seeing him that with the few words she could speak and with her incoherent mumbles Kaelyn knew that she was raving about seeing Chuck. Getting out of the elevator she put Katherine down to walk and Kaelyn held her hand as they walked to the apartment. She hadn't seen Chuck since she had left, but Georgia who normally took Katherine was out of town for a family reunion and Kaelyn was pretty much forced to take her on her own.

Knocking on the door Kaelyn was afraid of seeing him. Even though she still had the key she knocked since technically she didn't live there anymore. Standing there the door opened and there he was. Kaelyn could see the sadness in his eyes and appearance. She could tell right away that he hadn't shaved and he was looking gruff.

"Georgia is at a family reunion so I brought Kat myself." Kaelyn said softly as she tried her best not to meet his eyes. In the background she saw Nate who gave her a small wave and Katherine noticed him right away.

"Nat-Nat." she said happily as she squiggled to get her hand out of Kaelyn's and she ran past Chuck into the apartment and climbed on the couch to take her spot sitting on Nate's lap.

"Thanks it means a lot." Chuck said to Kaelyn.

"Well you are her father and you have the right to see him whenever." Kaelyn said breathlessly.

"Want to come in for a minute?" Chuck then asked giving her a small smile.

"No thanks I'm just going to head home." Kaelyn said.

"Nonsense Kay, stay for a few minutes. I haven't seen you in a moment." Nate said as Katherine hopped up and down.

"Umm I guess." She said as Chuck moved out of the way and Kaelyn walked into the apartment that hadn't changed at all. Everything still seemed to be in the places that they were when she had left. Taking a deep breath she sat down on the couch where Katherine had now crawled off of Nate's lap and was walking towards Chuck who was closing the door.

"Daddy up!" cried Katherine who put her hands up and waited for Chuck to pick her up.

"Alright baby girl." He said as he picked her up and threw her in the air and caught her. Katherine was now in a fit of giggles as he walked over to the couch and sat next to Kaelyn. "How have things been?" he asked Kaelyn as he turned to her.

"Good. Things have been good." Kaelyn answered.

"I hear you moved into a new apartment and named the baby." Chuck said with a smile.

"You've been talking to my aunt." Sighed Kaelyn who knew she was going to have a serious conversation with Lily the next time she saw her. "Yeah I have a place and the baby's name is Lizzzete." She then said out of frustration.

"You hung out with Jenny last night I hear?" Nate then commented as he felt the mood change in the room.

"Yeah it was a good time. Though being pregnant I couldn't enjoy a martini." Kaelyn said with a small laugh.

"You'll pop soon enough. Just like with little Kat here." Chuck said as he tried to join the conversation.

"Hey, I've got to get going, but my aunt will be picking up Kat." Kaelyn then said quickly as she stood.

"Umm sure, yeah." Chuck said.

"Bye Kat mommy loves you." Kaelyn said to Katherine.

"Bye-Bye mommy." Katherine said.

"See you Kaelyn." Nate said.

"Yeah you too, bye." Kaelyn said as she made her way to the door just wanting to get out of there. She made her way out of the door and into the elevator. She felt stupid for rushing out the way she did, but then she couldn't standing being in the room with him because she loved him just too much for her own good. She looked down at her feet and as she looked up she saw Chuck coming her way and he was holding her purse that she realized she must have left while rushing out. Getting into the elevator he handed her the purse.

"You left it." Chuck said.

"Thanks I wasn't paying attention." Kaelyn said and just then the doors to the elevator closed. Kaelyn closed her eyes for a moment realizing that she now had to ride down with him. It was silent as the two of them stood there. The elevator started to move down a few floors and then there was a sudden jerk and everything stopped. The lights in the elevator went out and there was then just no movement. "What happened?" Kaelyn questioned.

"The power must be out." Chuck then said as he pressed the emergency button and nothing happened. "Yeah it's out. Someone needs to know we are in here."

"I have my cell. Here call Nate." Kaelyn said as she handed Chuck her phone.

"Thanks." He said as he started to dial. "Hey Nate did the power go out there…yeah…if you can reach the doorman call him and tell him that me and Kay are stuck in the elevator….thanks."

"Is all the power out?" Kaelyn asked.

"Apparently." Chuck said as he sat down on the floor.

"Good idea." Kaelyn said as she sat down across from him. She looked down at the floor and then she felt a budge in her stomach. She gasped and placed her hand on her stomach.

"Was it the baby?" Chuck asked.

"Yeah." Kaelyn smiled. "She's been really active lately. It's cute Kat likes to put her ear to my stomach and lie there while Lizzette kicks."

"Awe that's so cute. I feel like Kat has gotten so big since the last time I saw her." Chuck said.

"She might have, suddenly she gained a huge appetite and is just always eating something." Kaelyn said as she kept her hand on her stomach as she felt Lizzette kicking inside of her. There was an uncomfortable silence as the two of them sat there in the elevator.

"So have things truthfully been good with Damien?" Chuck then asked breaking the silence.

"Yeah, he's been great." Kaelyn said not meeting Chuck's eyes as she started to bite her bottom lip.

"You're lying Kay. You're biting your lip. I think I know you enough to see that." Chuck said.

"I don't want to talk about it with you." Kaelyn said as she continued to look at the floor.

"Kay look at me and tell me the truth." Chuck said and suddenly Kaelyn looked up at him and her eyes were meeting his. Once that happened tears started to fall down Kaelyn's face. "Kay." Chuck said softly as she moved over to sit next to her. He put his arm around her and held her close. "What's been going on?"

"Damien can be so controlling sometimes. He keeps trying to force me to move to Vermont with him and he is so insisting. He also gets so angry when you don't agree with him. Ever since we have been living together it seems like he is just always angry at something I've done and then he turns sweet back to the guy I knew until I make him angry again." Kaelyn explained as she stayed close to Chuck inhaling his scent that she knew so well.

"Has he hurt you other than emotionally?" Chuck asked as he rubbed her arm.

"He hit me once, but he promised he would never do it again. He was so angry at me." Kaelyn said.

"Kay look at me." Chuck moved so she was looking in his eyes. "You haven't done anything wrong and it's all him. Kaelyn you can't live with him anymore. He is a danger to not just you, but Katherine and the baby. Kaelyn I love you too much to see you get hurt like this and I need you and I know you need me."

"I love you." Kaelyn said as she started to sob and Chuck pulled her close to him. Kaelyn cried on his chest and then fell asleep in his arms just the place she had longed to be for so long.

Nearly two hours passed and suddenly the doors of the elevators opened and a worker was standing on the next floor that they were in between. Kaelyn woke up and yawned as Chuck started to help her up.

"Get her first, she's pregnant." Chuck said as she helped her to the edge where the working was waiting below to help her out. Kaelyn was pulled from the elevator and then Chuck was after her. As they stood there Chuck's arms holding Kaelyn walking out of the stairwell was Damien who rushed over to them.

"Kaelyn when I heard you were stuck I rushed right over. How are you feeling?" Damien asked as he pulled Kaelyn away from Chuck with a bit of force that scared Kaelyn.

"I'm fine." Kaelyn breathed as Damien had her by the arm leading her down the hall towards the stairwell. As they reached the stairs Damien was still holding her arm tight. "Damien you are hurting my arm." Kaelyn said softly afraid she was going to make him angry.

"You don't know what pain is bitch." Growled Damien as he yanked her by the arm and started taking her down the stairs. "You were stuck with him and the way he held you up there. You just disgust me."

"Damien please stop." Kaelyn said with tears forming in her eyes.

"Stop crying whore." Damien said through his teeth.

"Let go of her!" came a voice and they both looked to see Chuck rushing down towards then where he grabbed Damien who let go of Kaelyn who lost her footing in all the commotion. Suddenly she was tumbling down the stairs. Hitting the way at the bottom Kaelyn cried out in pain. "Kay!" Chuck yelled as he jogged down the stairs to Kaelyn's side.

"I think I'm in labor." Cried Kaelyn in pain as she grabbed at her stomach.

Chuck reached into Kaelyn's purse and grabbed her phone to call 911. By that time Damien had walked passed them and was gone leaving them in the stairwell to fend for themselves.


End file.
