1. Prolouge

_"Lieutenant James, I'm afraid we've received disturbing news. You need to leave, and now, we're sending you to America where the government took great interest in your...profile shall we call 're going to be placed under their care, you'll be flying under the radar for a while so you won't be able to work. I was told by an extremely uppity government official that you'd understand this, he's back, and apparently, he's coming for you."  
"Thank you sir. I understand perfectly. I'm sorry this is such short notice."  
"Whatever you've got yourself into, it's clearly big, be careful out there James."  
"Yes sir, thank you, sir."_

"Tegan James? Daughter of George and Eliza James?"  
"Yes sir."  
"Good, punctual. Come with me."  
"Who are you?"  
"Oh yeah, right, general Jack O'Neill. What? Not what you expected?"  
"Not exactly sir."  
"Relax with the sir crap already, youre not even American military, I got no jurisdiction over you. Go on, get in. We won't kidnap you promise."  
"Great...forgive me if it's rude to ask but why are you picking me up at an airport? In a goverment car? I thought this was supposed to be discreet."  
"Hey being a genereal needs to come with some perks right? Like cake, the white house does great cake. Can you sign these please?"  
"Non-disclosure agreements? What are these for?"  
"Well I can't tell you unless you sign it, sheesh you Brits."  
"Well how can I sign it if I don't know what I'm agreeing to? You cn never be too careful."  
"Yeah yeah just sign the damn thing. What have you got to loose?"  
"Nothing I suppose, since you put it so nicely."  
"Excellent, huh, neat signature... anyway, how mad are you on sci-fi?"  
"Sci-fi? I'm not a hardcore fan, but I suppose star trek isn't too bad."  
"Yeah well beaming works the same way in real life."  
"General?"  
"A good few years back, we dug up an artifact, it's called a stargate..."

"All set to leave?"  
"Yes thank you general Landry, I mean, when they said travel light..."  
"Indeed. Mr Woolsey is waiting on the other side to meet you."  
"Great..."  
"Getting cold feet?"  
"No, just...a migraine, this is a lot to take in."  
"Too damn right, try running the whole affair, now get going, Woolsey's not a man to keep waiting."  
"Yes sir, thank you, if you could pass that on to general O'Neill..."  
"Dually noted."

"Ah lieutenant James, a few minutes late."  
"My apologies sir, I was finishing a conversation with general Landry."  
"Of course, welcome to Atlantis, it's a city of many wonders as I'm sure you'll see. You'll have time to see it all during your stay here, life's never boring I can tell you, this is the control room, down there's the gate, good morning Chuck!Here we are, my office, I believe introductions are in order. This is lieutenant colonel Sheppard, he's the commanding military officer here and you'll report to him.  
"Afternoon."  
"Is that what it is? I forgot my watch, damn I'm gonna pay for that."  
"Nah, we got a store cupboard full of 'em."  
"Yes. This is the rest of his team, Ronon and Teyla and...where's-"  
"I'm here I'm here, where is...Tegan!"  
"Oh my god Rodney!"  
"You...you're not...You're not eighteen anymore."  
"No...neither are you, it's called growing up, I had no idea you were here!"  
"Yeah and I had no clue you were coming! My god there's a lot to catch up on."  
"We did say she was coming, doctor Mckay."  
"Yes well, I was busy doing important things...like always."  
"You mean writing squiggly letters on a board?"  
"Something like that, only much much cooler."  
"You know doctor Mckay lieutenant?"  
"Yes, we're old friends, we go...a long, long way back."  
"Wait, Rodney and you...friends...no offense I don't see it."  
"Now colonel Sheppard let's not judge, lieutenant I presume you are aware that you will have a thorough medical examination, conducted by our CMO Doctor Keller. Doctor Mckay, I take it you can show her to the infirmary? Good good, then perhaps to her quaters after, oh and I believe Ronon has offered to spar with you for evaluation."  
"Really, oh that's going to be fun."  
"Don't be so excited, many of his opponents end up needing stitches."  
"Oh man you sound awesome."  
"Ah so you're still an adrenaline junkie."  
"Rodney I was not an adrenaline junkie, I just didn't like being picked on."  
"Yeah right. Okay okay, come on this way to the infirmary."  
"If you need anything else just call lieutenant."  
"Thanks Mr Woolsey. Hey, Rodney slow down would you, you're not carrying the bags!"

"Okay so everything checks out, you're healthy as a horse and then some. Welcome to Atlantis."  
"Thank you doctor Keller."  
"Not a problem, please call me Jennifer, if you need anything at all just call."  
"I will, so Rodney where to next."  
"Well, seeing as you were so keen to spar with Ronon."  
"Rodney are you trying to get her killed, compared to him she's tiny, no offence."  
"None taken."  
"Jennifer you have not seen her fight. Hey Ronon, Sheppard, yeah it's me, I was wondering if we could move that sparring match up to now. Yeah she's been cleared. Nah trust me. Sure thing. Come on, they said they'd be waiting for us."  
"Bye Jennifer, thank you again, Rodney...does this Ronon have a weakness?"  
"Nope, the guys practically a machine."  
"Nothing I could exploit?"  
"Nada."  
"What about sensitive areas? Pressure points?"  
"The guy was operated on when he was wide awake and didn't even flinch."  
"Okay so...stamina?"  
"Better than that of a marathon runner, he's gonna be a real challenge."  
"Jesus christ, okay so he's burly, good level of fitness, no weaknesses..."  
"Are you profiling him?"  
"Yes, in order to fight you need to know your opponent Rodney. Seems very focused, watches everything, I bet he's profiling me to."  
"Oh yeah yeah sure."  
"No really, he must have at least a foot on me height wise...clearly a lot heavier too, hmmm, I'm gonna have to be fast, defensive, unpredictable. You're right this is a challenge."  
"I know and no offense, but getting the crap kicked out of you is my punishment for not writing to me."  
"I'm sorry, I had no clue where to send the letters, besides I was on tour most of the time, I didn't really have time. It may not be all action but there was still a hell of a lot to keep me busy."  
"Sure, either way, write next time."  
"Yes mother."  
"There you guys are, 'bout time, you sure you wanna do this James?"  
"Quite sure colonel Sheppard."  
"She's been profiling him."  
"Huh, smart ? You have to know your opponent, even a little bit helps if you're gonna go out fighting."  
"That's what she said."  
"Can we do this or what?"  
"Easy chewie, no beating each other to bad, we don't want any medical emergencies, no underhanded tactics. That includes biting and scratching, and for you chewie...no hair pulling."  
"Yeah yeah Sheppard, come on already."  
"Great, good luck with your initiation into Atlantis personnel, they've all been beaten to a pulp god knows how many-"  
"Mckay! Give the girl a little confidence, I thought you were supposed to be an old friend."  
"I'm used to it colonel, believe me as a teenager, he was worse. His hormones were terrible, especially on his man period."  
"Hey!"  
"You ready tiny?"  
"I'm actually five foot fives worth of thunder."  
"Whatever tiny, I said you ready?"  
"Yeah, I'm ready." 


	2. Settling In

Tegan's Point Of View:  
Atlantis was a beautiful place. With a coppery coloured theme for most of it's walls and terracota coloured floors, silvery blue parts of the wall jutted out with engravings on that were lit up with white light. The inside had been decorated with potted plants ocasionaly and they'd turned on water features in a few corridors to give it a more homely and welcoming design. The sparing room as Rodney had called it, was an odd shaped room, with a large window on the right hand side that had a window seat you could sit on. The small panels around the window glowed orange and gold as the sunlight streamed in and hit them, also adding shadows to the wall features that were sticking out of the wall. There weren't any mats on the floor and juding by Ronon's size, it was really going to hurt if I hit the floor after one of his punches.

Admittedly I was still more than a little shocked at seeing Rodney, and it added a bit of a distraction factor to the whole thing because I found myself shooting glances his way to double check if I had really seen him, he'd changed a lot. He was a little more tubby than I remembered, as a teenager he'd been a scrawny little twig like boy with a head full of floppy brown hair and braces, now however his hair was left in a short cut but still floppy state, a lighter shade of brown though and he was taller than I remembered. His cheeks had a light rosy colour to them but he was still kind of pale, his eyes however had stayed the same, still that pale shade of blue that almost looked grey. He had settled into the window seat talking quietely to colonel Sheppard. I'd only met him today but he had made an impression on me for sure, he seemed more relaxed than most of my former CO's, more willing to lay off the heavy stuff and try to keep things light hearted, but to be where he was and to have the respect he commanded from a guy as big and wild looking as Ronon meant he had to be one hell of a leader.

Not to mention he was pretty damn good looking, with his well built, muscular frame and light tan complexion he was every inch the man that came to mind when you thought of a typical American. Tall, he had touseled black hair ontop of his head, hanging over his forehead where dark brows perched above stunning hazel eyes. Both were paying attention to the conversation, waiting for me and Ronon to get on with it it appears. Ronon however, was huge. I was right when I said he was at least a foot taller than me, he was realy muscular to, superseding every male officer I'd seen so far on Atlantis, with long dark brown dreadlocks he'd tied behind him. He was an almost half cast colour to me with dark brown eyes that scrutinised everything, in excruciating detail too I imagined. He appeared to be waiting for me and raised an eyebrow,  
"Sure about this tiny, you can back out now if you want." he offered, his voice deep and gruff making me frown. He barely knew me yet I already had a nickname that made me sound...weak? What was up with that?

Lifting my fists to my chest I stood with my legs hip width apart, ready for an attack.  
"I told you, I'm not tiny, I'm five foot five's worth of thunder." I shot back with as menacing a glare as I could muster. He smirked a little before coming in hard and suprisingly fast for such a bulky man. Stepping quickly to the left I focused on blocking his attacks. Deflecting his powerful left hook and ducking to avoid his right jab, spinning underneath his arm I bought my leg up to kick him in the back. My arms felt a little stiff, so, I chucked my leather jacket off to the left. I hadn't got a uniform yet, so I'd come in my civillian clothing, a brown leather bomber jacket over the top of my black tanktop and dark skinny jeans, calf length leather boots on to add extra omph when I went in for a kick. Ronon barely even stumbled, turning quickly and launching another assault on me combining powerful jabs with heavy yet graceful kicks. Gritting my teeth as his fist ploughed into my ribs I doubled over, realising I needed to be quicker. Ronon was fast, strong and unpredicatable.

But he was big, which meant although he was suprisingly quick to turn, he was a little slower on that front than I was being small and more petite. So I had to run rings around him, and I did. Leading him in a circle I danced around him, taking steps closer and then stepping back again, blocking his hits when he attacked and when I saw the oppurtunity I delivered blows of my own. They hardly had any effect on him though which left me with a dilema, if I wanted to last long enough to win I needed stamina, and my stamina would be quickly depleted if I kept up my fast defensive routine and combined it with the powerful attacks I would need to at least make him stumble. I couldn't hear colonel Sheppard and Rodney talking anymore, I'd drowned everything out including the warmth of the sun on my back that was beginning to make me break out in a sweat. Ronon dropped suddenly and I jumped back to avoid his legs, using the time it took him to stand efficently and sending my fist sailing into his jaw. Blood dribbled from the corner of his mouth and an almost feral look entered his eyes as he lunged forward.

Diving to the left I rolled back to my feet, quickly grabbing the foot he sent coming my way and pushing it so he stumbled before lunging forward and pushing my hand into his solar plexus, staggering backwards he took deep breathes to regain control of his breathing as I advanced, knowing he was winded he kept retreating, this time, I had him on the defensive and he knew it. The smirk on his face though told me he was enjoying this, my heart was beating furiously in my chest, my breathing ragged and sweat dripping down my face and soaking my shirt, making my clothes stick to me, stray hair was plastered to my face and I was sure I looked a mess. As he recovered I sent a quick flurry of attacks his way, my fist coming for his jaw. He blocked it. A split second later my leg had come up for his ribs, even doubled over he was only maybe a head shorter than me, but he blocked that to. Frustrated now wih the adrenaline surging through me at an alarming speed I faked a right hook and instead threw all my weight behind a left jab.

Finally a hit, I thought as he fell back on his ass, his lip was split and bleeding, even his nose was bleeding a little and I felt a little bad, I mean beating the crap out of my CO's team mate was hardly a way to get myself into his goodbooks. Taking a few steps back I relaxed my stance hearing a low whistle behind me. However Ronon apparently wasn't done, and as my adrenaline faded, he leapt up and tackled me to the floor. Managing to jostle him enough to slip free I rolled back into a crouch all set to spring to my feet when his fist made contact with my jaw, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth as I fell sideways, smashing my elbow off the floor and gritting my teeth against the ache that was sent through my arm. Perhaps I should of stayed down, but I didn't feel like giving up and pushed myself to my feet, only just deflecting his foot and recieving another hard hit to the temple that sent me back to the floor and caused me to see stars. I could feel blood dribbling down the side of my head, and hear Sheppard's voice telling Ronon to stop. The big man looked down at me with a smirk and held out a hand, breatheless I refused to take it and instead, forced myself to my feet. Props to me I thought, for standing on my own even if I was a little shaky.

I barely had the breathe left to talk but somehow, I found the energy to nod at him,  
"You're good." I panted out, he cocked his head a little,  
"Practice. Not to bad yourself." he grunted breathing a little hard but not as breatheless as I was. "Need to work on taking down your opponent though, never give up until their unconcious, don't trust them not to attack while you're backs turned." he added with a slightly huff before turning away. My hand had whipped out and smacked the back of his head before I thought about it, when he whipped around I smirked back,  
"Don't trust me not to attack while you're backs turned." I repeated childishly. He smirked back a little and shook his head,  
"Where'd you find her Rodney?" Sheppard asked sounding half amazed. Rodney smirked a little and I was reminded vaugley of a time when we were both younger, and he had worn that same smirk when he had found he had once again got the highest test results in the class.

Turning I saw the woman from Woolsey's office had joined us at somepoint. Her brown hair was down, tan leather trench coat on that fitted to her body perfectly made her tan skin seem even darker. She looked dressed to impress really. Her brown eyes evaluated me for a moment and she smiled softly,  
"You are very good. Not many have ever put Ronon on the floor that way." she commented, her tone was soothing, calm, very prim and proper too. Leaderlike almost. I tested out my own bloody smile, literally, I still had blood in my mouth that I wiped on my hand,  
"Thank you, Teyla isn't it?" I asked for confirmation, she nodded and sent me another gracious smile. Sheppard walked forward then pointing at my head,  
"That's gonna need stitches." His face was impassive, almost impossible to read though I could see the surprise in his eyes. I'd still had my ass kicked though, so I was unsure of why even Rodney looked so amazed.  
"Hmm, I'm hungry, I'll see you in the mess hall." Rodney said quickly and backed from the room,  
"Ronon and I must get to New Athos, we were due to leave fifteen minutes ago." Teyla said with a tone that suggested she was scolding the boys, Ronon huffed a little but nodded turning he gave Sheppard a slight wave and nodded my way,  
"See ya later Sheppard, Tiny." I sighed as he left, what a nickname, I thought.

Right now, I was still tasting blood and was in desperate need of some mouthwash I guessed, heck I could even smell that coppery smell you get with blood and I was sure I looked a bloody mess. It was trickling in drops sluggishly down the side of my head and dribbling from my lip. Sheppard turned and motioned me to follow him out of the room, I recognised some of the corridors and realised we were trooping back to the infirmary.  
"Not many people last that long against Ronon." he said casually as the awkward silence grew between us, it was clear he didn't know what to say and neither did I, we barely knew each others names so what were we supposed to say? Looking up at him for a moment I frowned, before wincing and straightening out my brows.  
"It wasn't that long colonel Sheppard." My tone was modest, perhaps a little quiet, he looked at me from the corner of his eye and shrugged.  
"Half hours a new record either way, you okay? No offense but I can't tell what part of your face is bleeding and which part of it isn't." I laughed a little easing some of the awkwardness there before the silence could consume us again.

"I'm fine thank you, believe me if your face was like this, you'd know where you were bleeding." I said rolling my eyes a little, he nodded slightly looking a little more relaxed as he watched the infirmary come into view. "What a way to start." I muttered shaking my head, only intending for myself to hear it, but Sheppard did and looked at me questioningly. "Just thinking out loud." I said quickly looking away as he lead me inside and called for Doctor Keller. She came out, took one look at me and glared at the colonel. The glare could only be described as deadly, and Sheppard seemed to shrink back almost. She gave off an irritated vibe and stalked over to her cupboard, pulling on a pair of rubber gloves with a snap and a sewing kit. Grimacing I tried not to flinch as she motioned me forward and I sat on the bed, Sheppard's eyes flickered to the door and I could almost see his eagerness to leave, I was hardly surprised when you could practically see the steam rising from the Doctor's ears.

"What did I say? I told him, I told him to wait a while and now look, you're first day on base and I'm stitching you up! I swear to god if you can't keep Ronon-" I honestly felt bad for Sheppard as she ranted at him while stitching me, okay part of me was afraid that she'd slip and stab my eye because she was so distracted but for now instead I took in a breathe and cleared my throat a little.  
"Er colonel Sheppard, sir...I know it's rude to ask but I think I left my jacket back in that room, could you get it for me please?" I asked, he went from looking like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar to looking so relieved he actually cracked a smile and nodded, hurrying out. Doctor Keller looked at me sternly as she began to stich my cut up after cleaning the blood off of my face.  
"He needed a good chewing out, him and Ronon never learn that I'm sick of stitching up his human punch bags. You shouldn't of gave him the excuse to leave." her tone was so firm I had to lower my gaze, she seemed so serious and I didn't want to get the tail end of her rage.

The whole infirmary smelled of antiseptic and it was beginning to burn my nose a little, they must of recently cleaned it because it wasn't this bad when I was in here earlier. Finally, another five minutes and she was done, it had been a tense silence, the irritation had not stopped rippling from her when Sheppard walked in just a mere second later, my leather jacket in his hand, his smile however dropped when he saw Keller's still puckered face. "She's good to go, no more sparring or training or whatever you want to call it for a few days, that goes for anyone, if I have to stitch one more marine or scientist that you let Ronon at I will kill you, and I have the medicines to make it look like an accident, do you understand me?" she asked demandingly. Swallowing a little he nodded and looked at me,  
"Come on, I can show you to your quaters, your stuffs already there and your uniform." he said as I stood and made my way over to him,taking my jacket as he handed it to me before following as he walked away. The silence was just as awkward as before and this time, neither of us spoke as I took a mental image of the corridors and twists and turns it took us to get there before finally, he slid his hand over the crystals on the wall. I watched in pure fascination as the coppery coloured doors slid open to reveal a bland but nice looking room.

It was a decent size, not overly large but spacious enough with a single bed, the sheets and duvet folded ontop waiting for me to put them on the single bed, that even though it was a single would probably fit another person in even if it was a tight squeeze. There were semi circle lights sticking from the walls and a window that was maybe two persons wide stretching from floor to ceiling in the middle of the wall with a long dark blue curtain attacthed the railing infront of it. It let in a large amount of natural light to illuminate the desk I had on the left hand side of the room where a silver laptop was already sitting with what looked like handwritten instructions beside it to get me started, my duffel bags were on my bed to and there was a red rug stretched out in the middle of the room to give it a homely feel. Smiling to my self as we stepped inside I looked to see the curved wall sticking out on the left, another control crystal panel on the wall beside it that Sheppard used to open the doors and reveal an ensuite bathroom, complete with toilet, shower and sink.

Sheppard rubbed his hand across the back of his neck.  
"If you prefer a bath you could swap I guess." he said looking at me like he wanted to get out of here, like he didn't think it was acceptable to be standing in my room when he barely knew me. Mentally, I smiled, that was kinda cute. But outside I kept up my professional appearance and shook my head,  
"No, a showers fine thank you, I'm honestly not that picky." I assured him. Compared to his smooth American accent my British one sounded very prim and proper, but they mixed together nicely to create a melodic sound. Sheppard gestured to the uniform on the bed where I could also see a watch sitting there which made a ghost of a smile cross my face, "Thank you for remembering the watch." I commented and he smiled a little,  
"No problem, if you wanna change then there's your uniform...that's your radio, just hook it over your ear and press it when you wanna talk to someone. I'll er...leave you to straighten your room out, I think Rodney might wanna see you later though, he'll either be in his lab or the mess hall." he informed me before leaving me alone in my new room.

Moving slowly I pulled my new uniform through into the bathroom where I then spent a few minutes brushing my teeth to rid my mouth of the taste of blood, before grabbing my hairbrush from one of my bags and redoing my hair into a simple fishtail braid that went down my right shoulder. My uniform had a selection, so I could co-ordinate my uniforms according to colour and have a fresh one waiting for me after the week was out or if my clothes were dirty. I had two sets of fitted navy blue cargo pants, jackets with black patches on the shoulder and black t-shirts, or I could go down the black route like Sheppard had and wear either of my pair of black cargo pants and baggy jackets. I had two sets of leather boots to work with too and now, I pulled on one of my navy blue sets. Walking out and hooking my radio over my ear like Sheppard had said to and turning to my duffel bags, I went through a slow and methodical process of putting away my belongings in the dresser I hadn't noticed before that sat back aginst the right hand side wall. It took me two hours or so, by which time it was almost time for dinner and my stomach was growling at me to go eat, but I had done it, my bags were stuffed under my bed, empty apart from a few personal items I didn't want on display in my room.

The few photo's I had, mostly of me and old friends while we'd been on tour in Afghanistan but I did have one of my home back in England. We had been (and I still technically was) a well off family and lived in a big fancy manor house with maids and stuff, the photo had me and my mom, standing outside the front of our home as with the dog that had died when I was nine, called K-9 funnily enough,dad had taken the picture I remembered but I had long ago abandoned that house, instead giving it to the maids that had worked there where they now lived together as the best of friends with their families the last I heard, although they had told me that there would always be a bed ready if I needed to come home. Shifting my weight to my right hip I gazed out of the window, wandering how different my life might of been if I hadn't come to Atlantis, would I be dead by now? Most certainly I was sure that I'd be severely injured.

So lost in my daydream was I that I jumped when my radio went off in my ear, that was going to take getting used it as Sheppard had told me to I hesitated at first before I said,  
"Yes?"  
"James, how quick can you get your ass back to Woolsey's office?" Sheppard asked his voice filtering through the earpiece as I pondered that. My gut told me I could find my way there again and as I so often did, I went with my instinct.  
"Erm...maybe five minutes?" I guessed roughly, I heard Sheppard huff a little,  
"Try make it quicker. We'll be waiting." he said before ending the communication and leaving me alone in silence. I frowned slightly, why would they want me there so soon, I'd only been here a day and I was already being called to the Woolsey's office? Shaking my head I left, deciding it'd be best to get whatever this was over with and walking through the maze of corridors untilI found a transporter and stepped in, pressing the button near the middle of the screen which I knew would be the control tower considering it was a birds eye view of a schematic of the city. Stepping out again I followed my gut again until I stepped out into the gateroom, allowing myself a brief smile of triumph before turning to walk up the steps. If anything I knew I had good sense of direction and could track things thanks to my military training, and my gut instinct was hardly ever wrong, however right then,I prayed it was, because my gut was telling me that something was wrong and I was about to be dragged into it.


	3. What Do You Mean Kidnapped?

"I disagree it would take to long to debrief her, besides she hasn't even been cleared for off-world duty yet."  
"All the more reason to take her, trust me Woolsey she's good at this sort of stuff she held her own longer than anyone against Ronon, they seemed to have hit it off even, she won't be a liability and what better way to evaluate her to see if we can clear her than to take her with us on this one."  
"Colonel I understand where you're coming from I really do however we need to act now and debriefing would just take to long and the longer this takes the worse off Ronon may be."  
"Mr Woolsey, I agree with colonel Sheppard, I believe this would be a good experience for lieutenant James aswell as a good opportunity for colonel Sheppard to evaluate her, I am sure Ronon would agree to if he were here." After having enough of being talked about, I cleared my throat a little and stuffed my hands into my pockets, watching each of them for a moment before letting my eyes rest on colonel Sheppard who looked a little bashful,  
"You wanted to see me?" I asked only letting a little of my annoyance show in my voice. I didn't like anyone discussing me like I wasn't in the room, my back isn't a voicemail and if they couldn't say it to my face they should keep their mouthes closed.

Sheppard nodded as Woolsey nodded once and left, pushing me a little furthur into the room as he did so. Teyla smiled graciously, though there was a hint of concern in her eyes. Rodney gave me a smile to but even he looked stressed, and Sheppard just looked down right annoyed.  
"Yeah I did, Ronon's been kidnapped." he said watching how I reacted to the statement, but I kept my face calm and nodded once, my anger dissapated and instead I found a small knot of concern in my stomach for the man I didn't really know but deemed a friend already.  
"How can I help?" I asked keeping my eyes focused on his face. It was times like this I remembered that I was right, to make that vow to myself so many years ago, never let anyone close, they can be torn away to easily. Having friends was different to letting anyone in, infact if my old friends had been asked twenty question about me, they'd of realised that they never knew me at all. The only one I had ever let in, was Rodney Mckay, and he was standing infront of me in a dangerous place, which made me begin to doubt how wise of me that was.

Sheppard looked at me and glanced over my shoulder before locking those piercing hazel eyes on mine.  
"I was hoping you'd say that. I'm gonna go through this fast, but I'm only gonna do it once, okay? Ronon's from a planet called Sateda, it was destroyed by the wraith a long time ago and he's touchy about the subject so I suggest straying from it if you ever have a sit down conversation with him, anyway there were a few people who survived the attack and when we met up with him, he was runner. Someone who runs from planet to planet from the wraith who follow them because they implanted trackers into the runners,it's a sick form of entertainment to them apparently. But last year we were investigating a rumour about a group going round and taking out a hell of a lot of wraith which turned out to be old friends of Ronon's. Unknown at the time though they were wraith worshippers, people who serve the wraith an' all that jazz, but that all turned to hell when we were out on a mission, they tricked us and we got in trouble, Ronon fought 'em two of them are dead however one called Tyre still roams free and acording to Teyla he was waiting on New Athos for them stunned Ronon and then stunned her. Now, we need to find Ronon." He concluded as my head spun ever so slightly. "Got it?" he asked uncertainly, frowning slightly I used my hands to make a sort of timeline,  
"Er...Ronon's an alien who had his homeworld destroyed,he met old friends last year, two of them died in a mission gone wrong because they were lieing about allegiance, ones still alive and stunned Teyla and Ronon and now he's kidnapped Ronon?" I asked hesitantly, Sheppard nodded as behind me, Woolsey walked in and looked around slowly,  
"The Daedalus says they can't pick up any signal from Ronon's subcutaeneous locator beacon on New Athos." he informed them, Sheppard frowned and I winced a little, my hand moving to my upper arm on the left where they'd dug into my skin and placed my own locator beacon in.

The Daedalus was a space ship, built on Earth that travelled between the Pegasus galaxy (where Atlantis was situated) and the Milky way galaxy (where Earth was), it's commander, colonel Steven Caldwell was highly decorated at the SGC. Sheppard nodded,  
"Well then what can we do now?" Rodney asked. Teyla frowned thoughtfully as I stood back and watched the whole thing unfold.  
"Tyre must of moved him from the planet but something stopped him killing Teyla, he could of done it easily but instead he left her there." Sheppard said thoughtfully, Teyla nodded her own thoughtful frown on her face.  
"Perhaps he still has some of his Satedan honour? Wait...perhaps we should find another Satedan?" she suggested, after seeing everyones confused looks she continued, "A Satedan named Solen Sincha could be found on a planet called Belkan last I heard. Perhaps he could help." she explained looking expectantly around the room. Sheppard nodded his head eagerly and Woolsey thought for a moment before slowly nodding himself.  
"Alright, go ahead." he said, Sheppard nodded,  
"I'd like permission to take lieutenant James with us." he said surprising me.

My eyebrows rose on my head and Woolsey sighed, looking wearily at him,  
"Granted, however she is your responsibility, if something goes wrong this is on you colonel." he said firmly as Sheppard grimaced but nodded, motioning me out of the room with him and Rodney hot on my heels, "Alright lieutenant, gear up in the armoury, I don't expect to have to give you a lesson on how to put on tac vests and holsters, all the stuff you need is in the vest pockets already, you need to add a leg holster for your glock and attach a p-90 to yourself, five minutes." he ordered as he lead me in. I was done in under that, liking the familiar weight of a side arm strapped to my leg perhaps a little to much. I felt more like...me. Rodney gave me a smile as I walked over to where Sheppard was just clipping his p-90 to his vest.  
"Hey, first time off-world, excited?" he asked with a smile. I raised an eyebrow slightly,  
"A little I guess...I just kind of wish that it was under different circumstances." I replied cautiously, Rodney rolled his eyes,  
"You know, you don't have to be so stoic an' all, Sheppard's not gonna kill you if you relax a little and try...I dunno being friendly." he said pointedly pinning me with a look that clearly said we need to talk.

I shot him a glare back but thankfully Sheppard ignored us, instead focusing on Teyla who was gearing up across the way before she crossed over to us. "Great, ready to go." Rodney said enthusiasticly, Sheppard shot him a sideways glance as I stuck beside Teyla, who stepped beside me gracefully and looked at the gate, already dialled infront of us. A shimmering pool of blue making the floor glisten that Sheppard lead us through. My foot fell onto hardpacked dirt on the other side. I blinked slightly as the daylight hit my eyes. We were on the edge of a village, it seemed almost medieval,according to the reports I'd read most villages in Pegasus were this way. We didn't stop to look around though, Teyla and Sheppard lead the way into an old tavern where Teyla stopped to look around for a moment before continuing to walk until we were infront of a drunk looking man. His hair was thinning and his face was pale and creased with age, not to mention he smelled strongly of alcohol.  
"Solen Sincha?" Sheppard asked, his face a mask of calm as he pulled on the tough guy act. The drunkard looked up and surveyed us for a moment before lowering his gaze again and taking another long drink from his tankard.

The tavern was warm, uncomfortably so with poor lighting and a low buzz of chatter in the background.  
"I recognise those uniforms from the stories I've heard, so tell me, what would people from the great city of the ancients want with me?" Answering a question with one of his own only made me dislike him more, he was being cocky and not very helpful considering the predicament Ronon was in. I was getting more than a little impatient with the whole thing if I was completely honest.  
"You're a Satedan right? Then you know Ronon. Well he's...in trouble." Sheppard said carefully measuring his reaction. Sincha raised an eyebrow and snorted taking another drink,  
"He's always in trouble." he pointed out and that made me frown. So he was just going to judge him? He wasn't going to help one of his own? I shared an annoyed glance with Sheppard and my eyes flickered the tankard he was still drinking from,I made a small motion with my hand and he gave me a hand whipped out and smacked the tankard across the table, making Rodney jump as Sheppard leaned on the table to get up close and personal in Sincha's face. I really couldn't stand drunks I thought keeping my eyes locked on the back of Sincha's head.

"Yeah but this time, he's in trouble with Tyre. He kidnapped him, name mean anything to you?" Sheppard asked, his patience wearing thin as Sincha raised a brow, leaning back in his chair right into the barrel of my p-90. Looking behind himself at me I raised an eyebrow and let my gun drop, looking as innocent as I could as he focused his gaze back on Sheppard.  
"Tyre you say? He's not Satedan. Got no honour, former wraith worshipper last I heard." he grunted holding his hand in the air for another drink.  
"Former?" I asked unable to stop myself, Sincha nodded looking at me curiously.  
"Yeah, former, as in Tyre dissappointed the wraith and they let him go." he said wryly as I frowned. I'd never seen a wraith but from what I'd read in mission reports and the profile Landry had given me, they wouldn't just let somebody go. From what I'd read wraith were merciless and cruel, cold and calculating.  
"Why'd the wraith just let him go, why not kill him?" Sheppard asked narrowing his eyes at Sincha as he shrugged,  
"It wasn't a kindness, he's an example now to all the fellow human beings the wraith like to torture. There won't be a planet safe enough for him, if it's that important to you, I'll keep my ear to the ground and if I get a lead, I'll let you know." he said grabbing the full tankard from the busty waitress that came over to hand it to him and taking another long swig. He'd almost downed it in one as I shot him a digusted look and wrinkled my nose while Sheppard told him how he could contact us and motioned for us to leave.

As we walked through the village he turned to me with a smirk,  
"Take it you don't like alcohol?" he asked almost teasingly. I shook my head,  
"I don't mind alcohol, I just don't like drunkards." I replied frowning slightly. Sheppard nodded once in understanding but his smirk grew just that little bit bigger.  
"Clearly, nice move with the tankard by the way, it certainly got his attention." he said focusing his eyes back on the road ahead as a small smile graced my face. A feeling of pride swelled in my stomach, I liked the feeling of knowing I had my CO's approval, because my former CO had practicly hated me, I was on about colonel Harrison who hated my guts with everything he had in him. Back on Atlantis Sheppard had invited me to join him and Rodney in the mess hall, Teyla was talking to Woolsey and as I walked in I found it was only Sheppard that was there. Having nothing to eat since breakfast had made me hungry, so I grabbed what little food I felt I could eat and piled it on my plate before walking over.

Sheppard kicked the chair out for me and I smiled,  
"Done like a true gentleman." I quipped as I sat down, Sheppard raised an eyebrow,  
"What can I say? Rodney should be here soon, I think he's in the bath." he replied with a shrug and I shook my head a little taking a bite of my sandwhich. Sheppard I noticed wasn't eating anything and the awkward silence grew between us as he stared out of the window. "So..." he trailed off awkwardly as I swallowed down the half of my sandwhich I'd been eating.  
"So..." I repeated hoping it would egg him on to say something, the silence between us was too loud in contrast to the buzzing noise of chatter that surrounded us. He looked at me like he wanted me to finish that sentence so I thought about it and said the first thing that popped into my head, "Thanks for asking Woolsey to let me come with you earlier, it was sort of enjoyable under the circumstances." oh good god could I of said that any worse? His teammate had been kidnapped and I was treating the mission like it was a holiday outing! Stupid stupid stupid Tegan! He shook his head leaning back in his chair as I hurriedly finished the second half of my sandwhich,  
"Don't worry about it, I want you with us when we get a lead too, I think Ronon might actually be happy to see you." he said with a small but sexy smirk on his face.

Damn I hadn't noticed that before. I blinked a little,  
"Are you sure?" I asked, he nodded raising an eyebrow,  
"Doubting yourself lieutenant?" he asked his face blank. Then it hit me, this was a test. They'd been talking about evaluation, this was part of it, I shook my head,  
"Not at all. This just seems a little personal to your team, you've only known me a day." I pointed out, he shrugged as Rodney sat beside me with a huge tray of food as I opened up my jelly pot and began to eat.  
"I've tried everything, even the Archimedes apporach." he huffed shovelling the mountain of food into his mouth with the fork. It cut short our conversation at least as both me and Sheppard frowned at him, he sighed, "You know, bathing? Archimedes had a eureka moment when he was in the bath so I tried bathing but other than gaining a nice strawberry scent I got nothing." his voice slowed down a little towards the end and he frowned before shaking his head and turning back to his food.  
"Wait, Rodney? You had a bath?" I asked a fake look of shock on my face that made Sheppard chuckle, Rodney scowled at me,  
"Yes I had a bath what's so surprising?" he asked waspishly.

I grinned a little and put a hand on his shoulder,  
"Your ego fit in there with you." I said my voice all buisness. Sheppard laughed louder at that as I leaned back in my chair taking a sip from my water bottle and giggled at the look of dissapproval Rodney had on his face. A man I didn't recognise stood behind us, navy blue uniform on with the black patches so he was definietly military, about the same height as Rodney was with quiffy brown hair and blue eyes. He was okay looking really but to me, he didn't have a patch on Sheppard.  
"Sir, looks like Solen came through, he has a lead for us, planet called Sarif Sur." the man informed us casting a curious look at me, Sheppard nodded,  
"Lorne get your team together, James, Rodney let's get this cleared with Woolsey and move." he ordered standing as we hurried off, Sheppard directed me and Rodney to the armoury where I was gearing up again just three hours after I'd taken it all off. The man Sheppard had called Lorne lead us to the gateroom as Sheppard hurried past us into the armoury with Teyla on his heels before he turned to me,  
"Hi, Major Evan Lorne, I don't think we've met." he said extending a hand, I shook it firmly and he seemed surprised by my grip.

I nodded once,  
"Yes I'm new, literally I've only been here just under twenty four hours, lieutenant Tegan James." my response is slightly cordial but Lorne doesn't seem to mind, he nodded once with a curious glance Rodney's way who shrugged, the men behind him cleared their throats and he rolled his eyes,  
"Lieutenant Coughlins and Reed, this is my team, guys, Lieutenant James." he made the introductions as we shook hands and Coughlin gave me a cocky smirk,  
"So we got a Brit on board the military train huh?" he asked, Lorne gave him a warning but I raised my eyebrow, here we go...  
"Problem?" I asked, he grinned,  
"Not at all, just speculating. I mean, aren't Brits supposed to be too sophisticated for war?" he asked suddenly looking sheepish as I grit my teeth and glared up at him, stepping closer,  
"No we're not, infact this Brit wouldn't be apposed to shoving her fist down your throat just to see if it comes out the other end. We don't all drink tea, have bad teeth and meet the queen you know Coughlin but if you really want to stereotype me go ahead. But I promise you if you do I'll make sure you can't move anything below the waist and you'll never walk again is that clear?" I demanded my blood boiling with rage.

Coughlin took a step back as Lorne shot him a look that said you so deserved that, his lieutenant friend snickering behind him as Rodney struggled to hide his smirk.  
"Coughlin, you really need to learn to keep your mouth shut, apologise." Lorne said with a nudge, Coughlin mumbled a sorry and I huffed looking away as Sheppard joined us, sensing the tension between us he moved me to stand beside Teyla as we moved out through the now dialed gate. This time, we stepped out into a forest. There was moss on practicaly everything as we spread out to look around, thankfully Lorne took his team the opposite way as Sheppard lead us seperately. I kept quiet, scanning the surrounding area and keeping my p-90 aimed up, ready to fire at a moments notice and coiled so tight like a tense spring I was ready to burst. The forest wasn't too densely packed, but their were parts where the bushes clumped together with low hanging tree branches, and I noticed one such area had been trampled, like a body had been through there. Pointing it out to Sheppard he lead us over to take a look but all we found was a clearing, the area was deserted and we had nothing.  
"You think Solen lead us on a wild goose chase?" Rodney asked, Teyla frowned and shook her head,  
"No, he still believes in Satedan honour he would not mislead us." she replied confidently and I smiled, really starting to like her.

We had turned back to walk back the way we came when Lorne contacted Sheppard.  
"**_Sir we found something about three clicks north of your position._**" Confirming it Sheppard started jogging and me and Teyla frowned, leaving Rodney to groan and jog after us. After a few minutes we reached a small rundown wooden house, rotting and dillapidated Lorne motioned us inside and we followed, there was a little bit of blood on the floor, a chair with rope surrounding it, and a body on the floor by the wall where it appeared to have landed after being thrown. Lorne kelt beside him to feel for a pulse. "It's weak, if we want anything from him we need to get him back to Atlantis now sir." he informed us. I took a mental image of the place and looked at Sheppard who was apparenly preoccupied sorting out who was going to carry the body, Teyla looked at me,  
"The body is definitely Tyre." she said, I frowned,  
"Which means Ronon was definitely here, he must of contacted the wraith to come get him, trying to get back into their good books and then the wraith went back on their word and left him here half dead." I deduced, she frowned,  
"Where is the evidence to support that theory?" she asked her face calm as we walked out together,  
"The rope on the floor around the chair, why would he tie himself up? And the wraith let him go to make an example of him to other humans right so they wouldn't tie him up and leave him on a planet somewhere either would they? Not somewhere so remote no one would see him and if anyone did, wouldn't they kill a former wraith worshipper for fear that they'd bring the wraith to their planet?" I asked connecting all the dots for her so she could see what I saw, a gracious smile lit up her face and she bowed her head respectfully.

"You are very observant." she complimented me and I smiled back, thanking her as we stepped through the gate together. Doctor keller was there and already taking Tyre down to the infirmary or wherever it was he was going while we went to the armoury to put our gear away. Sheppard and Teyla were talking in the corner when Rodney walked over to me,  
"So you like Teyla?" he asked, I sighed slightly,  
"Not now Rodney."  
"Then when Tegan, I though you said you were going to try and make friends." he pointed out, I looked up at him, the guy who had practicaly been my brother for three years and frowned,  
"I did I just...I've only just met them Rodders and besides you know that I hold even my friends at arms length." I replied running a hand through my hair, He frowned back at me and shook his head,  
"You'll need them out here Tegan, besides I think Sheppard and Teyla like you." he pressed as I put my vest back on the peg and crossed my arms defiantly over my chest,  
"They seem perfectly nice Rodney but I'm not rushing this." I said firmly and he nodded in defeat as we joined Sheppard and Teyla, who lead us down to the isolation room,I took mental pictures of the maze of corridors.

When we reached the observation window Tyre was screaming silently down below, bucking and writhing on the bed he was strapped to.  
"What's going on doc?" Sheppard asked looking at Tyre worriedly. Doctor Keller frowned as she watched him, twisting in obvious agony as she winced, clearly she was finding it hard to accept she couldn't do anything for him.  
"He's going through withdrawal." she answered quitely as I frowned,was he on drugs?  
"Withdrawal?" I asked my curiousity getting the better of me, she nodded,  
"When the wraith feed, they release an enzyme into their victims to make them stronger, therefore their food tastes better and lasts longer, obviously Tyre became dependent on the enzyme and now there isn't enough going around his body...he's going through withdrawal." she explained, I nodded once to show my understanding but kept watching as Tyre writhed with horrid fasincation.  
"How's long this going to take?" Sheppard asked, I knew why he looked so irritated, the longer this took the longer Ronon was gone, and right now, only Tyre really knew what had happened to him. Doctor Keller shook her head,  
"I have no idea, it could take weeks depending on how quick the enzyme leaves his body but the minimum guess would be at least three days if we don't give him sedative, which would be unethical can I add." she replied.  
"Don't give him any, we need that information as fast as possible." Sheppard said looking grim and reluctant, he was making the hard call. Well I didn't know for sure but judging by how much pain Tyre was in, this was going to be a long three days.


	4. Rescue Misson

John's Point Of View:  
Seven days on and Tyre was still coming down from his enzyme high, everything aorund him and on him was drenched in sweat, he couldn't stop shaking but at least he didn't writhe as bad as before, Keller said he was almost clear though and the enzyme was dissapating faster than she thought it would. However Ronon was still missing and with no more leads we had to spend time twiddling our thumbs and that was making me crabby. Not only did I have all this on my mind but also I had to go about my usual duties in command like paperwork (e.g reports), staff problems that needed sorting like Teyla being unsure whether or not she wanted to come back to the team now she had Torren and this new girl lieutenant James had to be placed somewhere. What had Rodney called her again? Tegan? Strange name, not very common but suited her at least. Currently I was walking to the mess hall, looking out through the windows at the sparkling blue waves was a good way to clear my head and I normally did it with Ronon when things got tense, but this time he wasn't here. However when I got to the mess hall I found that it was pretty quiet. Just a few scientists grabbing a late lunch and...wait was that Teyla? Yeah, Teyla, Kanaan and Torren were sitting at a four seater table tucked into the corner.

Kanaan was doing some hand game playing thing with Torren who was sat on his lap before he kissed his forehead and handed him to Teyla and left, giving me a friendly nod along the way. My head still a jumble of thoughts I turned to the buffet table and grabbed some lunch. When I turned around, I noticed that there was another person sitting with them, and she was holding Torren awkwardly in her arms as Teyla nodded encouragingly. Noticing me, she waved me over and I relaxed slightly as I sat back in the chair to take a bite of my sandwhich, no one said anything to me until I had finished my sandwhich five minutes worth of slow chewing later which left me to observe the whole thing quietly. Tegan didn't seem to be experienced with children, her arms seemed stiff as she cradled him in them and she was constantly looking at Teyla to make sure she still had his mothers approval. I forgot that Tegan hadn't met Torren until today but there was wonder in her eyes that was really quite amusing to watch. Her eyes were a unqiue grey colour that I'd never seen on anyone before, blue grey sure but not pure grey like hers were. She had an oval face where all her features were perfectly proportioned, her hair was a dark brown colour and she had a tan complexion, full pale pink lips too. She was slender but well built, like Teyla really now I had chance to think about it.

Torren started crying and Tegan bit her bottom lip gently looking at him worriedly,  
"Oh god what did I do?" she asked quickly looking at Teyla who smiled a little,  
"Bounce him." she suggested. Tegan looked way out of here comfort zone but tried it anyway, awkwardly bouncing him on her lap. I was by no means a child expert, heck I couldn't even stop my own marriage from falling apart but I loved Torren. He was a funny little character for one so young, besides, Teyla had deemed me, Ronon and Rodney his uncles sort of and we all had spent a fair amount of time with him, I'd actually done some babysitting once but we'd kept that one quiet. Without thinking I said,  
"Stand up, its easier that way." she looked at me for a minute before acting on the suggestion and rising gracefully from the chair. Shaking my head a little at the awkward position she had Torren in, I stood up, carefully rearranging her arms so Torren was comfortably resting on her hip and she was swaying a little as she bounced him until he quietened down. Moving her hand a little higher up his back I looked down at her, being at least a head and a half taller than her gave me a height advantage here, even if she could beat my ass in a fight. She looked up at me with a happy smile on her face,maybe a hint of pride in her eyes.  
"Thanks." she said keeping her gaze locked on me and for a moment, I felt like I sort of knew what it was like to have a family.

Shaking the thought from my head I sat back down to see Tegan smiling happily at Torren, "Hey there little guy, you like bouncing huh? Energetic kid. You're cute I'll give you that." she said to him as Torren gurgled back at her. "How's Tyre? Is he in any condition to talk yet?" she asked looking back at me, she'd only known Ronon for a day yet there was genuine compassion in her eyes when she spoke about him. I ran a hand through my hair,  
"Not really, Keller reckons it'll be a couple more hours if not another day." I replied unscrewing the cap on my waterbottle and taking a sip. I hadn't had as much time to talk to Tegan as I'd of liked over the past week but her and Teyla seemed to have become good friends and her and Rodney,well I'd caught them on the south-east pier with his arm around her shoulder and her head resting on his shoulder. I suppose now was a good time to have that conversation with her that everybody else seemed to have had the pleasure of having. Heck even Lorne knew her better than I did and they'd only spoke once or twice. As far as I was aware though, Rodney was the only one who knew anything personal about her, she didn't give away any personal information. "So...I saw you and Rodney yesterday. South-east pier, you guys got it together?" I asked casually, trying to strike up a form of conversation, Teyla raised an eyebrow at that and Tegan looked at me with a blank face,  
"No we haven't. Me and Rodney...it's not like that." she said shaking her head as Torren started making little whiny noises and reaching for Teyla.

Tegan suddenly seemed reluctant to hand him back but did so anyway and Teyla stood up,  
"Excuse me while I go and feed Torren." she made her way from the room leaving me and Tegan alone, she looked at the table and the awkward silence grew between us, this time however I was determined not to let it grow anymore. Tegan intrigued me, she was a observant, inquisitive, well trained to but what else could we expect from militarypersonnel? She made me curious.  
"If it's not like that then...what is it like?" I asked curiously narrowing my gaze as she shifted awkwadly in the chair,  
"He...er... he's more like a brother to me than what you were suggesting. He was er...his family was really good to me when I lost my family." she said quietly, I frowned a little suddenly feeling bad for prying so much.  
"Sorry." I mumbled, she shook her head,  
"Don't, I've heard that word enough over the years and it gets really old very fast." she said with a small smile. I nodded once when my radio suddenly went off.  
"Colonel Sheppard? Tyre's coherent and he's asking for you." Keller informed me, I tapped my earpiece once,  
"Okay we're on our way, come on lieutenant, Tyre's awake we might finally get to mount this rescue mission." her eyes betrayed the relief she felt for having to cut short that conversation as we stood and walked in silence to the ioslation room.

I however was only made more curious, how had she lost her family? How had she met Rodney? So many unanswered questions but I knew I couldn't press the subject, besides I'd yet to finish evaluating her and we were still in the real formal stage where we didn't even know each other. Walking in Tyre lifted his head and saw me, he gave me a small nod.  
"Colonel Sheppard. Thank you for seeing me. I'm sorry for everything thats happening, for Ronon." he said and I felt more than a little irritated with him. Sure he was high on enzyme but Ronon was a good friend of mine and it was his fault he was in this mess and not safe back here, at home with us. But the better man in me won out and eventually I replied,  
"Don't, you were high on enzyme anyway. But your gonna help us now, do you know where they took Ronon?" Tyre nodded his head slightly and his gaze flickered between me, Tegan, Rodney and Teyla, both of whom had entered the room after me and Tegan had. Keller stood across the room ready incase he needed sedating as Tyre looked back at me, brown eyes meeting my hazel ones to express his sincerity.  
"Yes I do, but I will only tell you if you let me come with you. I can lead you straight there and you can keep your guns on me at all times." he offered.  
"Fat chance don't you think you've-" Rodney began but Tegan elbowed him in the ribs, "Ow, hey what was-" rolling her eyes she clamped her hand over his mouth and glared him into silence, which was the most amusing part of my morning at least.  
"We'll consider it." I said turning and leaving the room and tapping my earpiece to contact Woolsey.

After explaining Tyre's proposal Woolsey still seemed hesitant. "Sir he could really help us out here." I tried getting frustrated, every minute he didn't agree was a minute of Ronon's time wasted. It felt like every breathe I took was counting down to his eventual demise or something deep like that. Tegan poked her head around the door and raised an eyebrow, 'Woolsey won't agree, any ideas?' I mouthed at frowned a little and I could almost see the gears of her mind working, she was a smart girl and this was just another chance to prove herself, I think she'd clocked on to the fact we were testing her and was genuinely trying her best.  
"Can he hear me or..." she trailed of gesturing to her earpiece, I pointed at mine in reply and she carried on talking understanding my drift. "Mr Woolsey? I think it'd be beneficial to colonel Sheppard's mission if he took Tyre with him, from what he's told us he knows the layout of the facility very well, and from the way he spoke to us I don't think he's lieing. He genuinely wants to help and it would save a lot of time, the sooner we find Ronon the better and Tyre would be outgunned, however quick he is if he puts a foot wrong he won't be able to outrun three simaultaneous bursts of p-90 fire." she said, the idea was clear and precise with a backup plan if things went wrong, it'd be hard for Woolsey to outlogic that. I was kinda miffed that I hadn't thought of it really, Woolsey was quite for a few minutes before finally he spoke,  
"Very well, you have a go however tell the lieutenant that if Tyre hurts a hair on anyones head, it's on her." with that he signed off.

I turned to tell her but she looked up with a grimace,  
"I heard." walking back in I nodded at the guys and Tyre's straps as I tapped my earpiece again,  
"Lorne, how soon can you and your team get geared up and meet us in the gateroom?" I asked.  
"We can leave now and be there in five sir." he replied confidently, I smiled a little, Lorne was one of those people who was confident in everything he did but not overly so, a good guy with a willing ear when you needed it, he'd helped me make many a good decision and I was greatful he was my second in command.  
"Good, then do it, James, you're coming too, you get changed, Teyla bring him down when he's done." I ordered as we left Tyre to change back into his own clothes, Rodney and Tegan were talking quietly behind me and I caught snippets of their conversation, not wanting to pry I tried not to listen but it was kind of hard.  
"I don't understand you're friends with Teyla right?"  
"Yes Rodney I just, you're being pushy just give me time."  
"How much?"  
"Rodney."  
"I'm serious."  
"Rodders you've been so pushy since I got here, yes maybe I am back at square one but at least I'm building it up quicker than before now would you just drop it already." her voice was a little annoyed at the end as I entered the armoury and geared up, I watched in amusement as Coughlin all but shrank back from Tegan.

Her hearing must of been expert because Coughlin muttered something about crumpets and she clearly heard it from the other side of the room, whirling around she fixed him with a glare. "Let me make one thing quite clear, just because I'm British does not mean I like crumpets,I prefer coffee over tea, I haven't met the queen and for the love of bloody god we don't all have bad teeth, infact mine were straightened with braces and I think they're kind of pretty! One more word about my nationality and you'll be dead Coughlin, and I promise it'll be friendly fire." she said fiercely. Lorne let out a laugh as I snickered and Tyre walked in.I handed him his sword, it was a sort of curved blade with a serated edge. Holstering it he nodded at me in thanks and followed us out to the gate where he told Chuck the address that needed to be dialled.  
"Okay guys, we go in, we get Ronon and we get out clean, you know the rest." I muttered loading my p-90 and aiming for the gate as I strode through with a purpose. We all tensed a little, preparing for the worst like we always did however Tegan took it to all new levels for me, I really was gonna have to teach that girl to relax, I thought. She had straightened her back, kept scanning her surroundings and kept her weapon aimed high, ready to fire with her finger poised above the trigger. Her grey eyes scrutinised everything, observing it all and I had no doubt that if we got lost, she'd be able to get us back.

So far, she was passing all my tests and had easily fell into the formation we used without anyone having to tell her to. Tyre lead us through the forest and it took ten minutes in for me to hear the scrunch of a wrapper that told me Rodney had eaten his power bar. Rolling my eyes a little it took only five minutes after that for Rodney to start complaining he was hungry again.  
"Here have mine then." Tegan said exasperatedly and I heard the thud of the power bar hitting his chest,  
"Ooo yeah thanks it's...chocolate and orange." he said sounding so enthusiastic then trailing of flatly, I smirked a little having no doubt that Tegan probably knew about his supposedly mortal allergy to citrus fruits.  
"Hey I was going for shutting you up not making your gut happy." she replied wryly. Finally, we got to the facility, it was an off white colour with moss and grass and trees growing all over it to blend it into the surrounding forest. Using some quick hand signals I had us in a line,my team infront, Lorne's behind us and we all knew what to do when we got inside, how to spread out, well Rodney didn't but Tegan quickly whispered it to him and smacked him upside the head in the process. Tyre opened the door and we burst round the corner, our gunfire echoing through the halls as we took down several wraith guards, Tyre stabbing and chopping at them until they fell. Tegan was the last one to fire with a crafty shot in the back of ones head before he could round the corner. Her face was impassive, it was as if she'd almost buried her emotion and blocked out the world, it was really badass but at the same time a little concerning.

Leading us through the corridors we went deeper and deeper into the facility, the purpley organic walls creeping me out just a little as the tension in the air grew. Where the heck was Ronon? Surely he should be around here somewhere? After searching a few more labs we came to an intersection, with Ronon standing in the middle of it. Relief flooded through my body but something was wrong, he had a creepy smile on his face, seemed way to relaxed considering he was standing int he middle of a wraith facility.  
"Ronon." my voice held a hint of surprise as I stopped Rodney from venturing to close.  
"Sheppard, good to see you." he said calmly. I pursed my lips thinking hard, was it possible that we were actually too late to save Ronon?  
"You too, ready to come home?" I asked suspiciously eyeing him up and down, his eyebrows raised on his head a smirk twisted his lips, this one was cruel though, sadistic almost. He didn't say anything, just watched as a group of wraith warriros surrounded us in their rotten acorn mask things and long white was a collective huff of air as we aimed our p-90's around, forming our own circle with Lorne's team for protection as my heart sped up. I had to get my people out now or we were in serious trouble. A wraith commander with the long black leather coat and tattooed face stepped around the corner, he smiled creepily at Ronon,  
"You've done well. Tyre, what an unpleasant surprise. I left you for dead." he commented in that weird hissy voice they use.

Tyre shifted uncomfortably before grabbing Teyla and holding a knife to her throat, my stomach lurched and we aimed half our weapons at Tyre now.  
"I brought them here, doesn't that deserve some kind of reward?" he asked pressing the knife a little closer.  
"Put down your weapons." The waith commander hissed. I hesitated at first and nobody moved, waiting for my signal. I needed to do what was right by all of them, but we were outnumbered and there was definietely going to be at least one fatality if we didn't comply. So slowly, I grit my teeth feeling irriated beyond belief, and lowered my weapon to the floor. It was all so smooth and practised as they took all of our weapons including our side arms and dragged us into cells, Lorne's team was dragged elsewhere and mentally I cursed the seperation.  
"Great how are we going to get out of this?" Rodney groaned. "Of all the people to work for the wraith I never thought they'd break Conan the barbarian, and Tyre double crossing us? What the heck's up with that?" he rambled, his usual panic mode engaged now. Tegan sighed,  
"Yeah Woolsey's gonna have my head for that." she grumbled running a hand through her ponytail that she'd recently re-done to catch stray hair, even though wisps still hung about her face. Her grey eyes had darkend with the negativity of her mood as she looked at the floor. It was true though, Woolsey had said if Tyre hurt anyone it was on her, which I thought was a lot of pressure for a young lieutenant.

"He said if Tyre hurt anyone, he ain't hurt us yet." I pointed out, she looked up at me with a greatful smile,  
"Thanks, but somehow I don't think Woolsey will see it that way." she replied, Teyla patted her knee before standing to look out into the corridor through the sticky black web door. Rodney looked at her,  
"What so it's your fault we dragged him along, great I'm blaming you." he said eyes wide and pacing the room. Tegan rolled her eyes,  
"Doesn't everybody." she muttered darkly and for a while, we sat in silence, letting Rodney ramble, until that is Tegan got up and slapped him hard enough to turn his cheek red within seconds and threatened that if he didn't shut up she'd knock him out cold, he hadn't spoke a word since and had sat beside him with her back against the wall. She was inbetween me and Rodney, Teyla sitting across from us when I felt something land softly on my shoulder with a thump, turning my head and trying not to jump I saw it was Tegan's head, she was blinking owlishly at the wall and starring at nothing, completely out of it I her eyes fluttered closed and she curled a little closer into my side. Rodney smirked a little.  
"Enjoying yourself there captain Kirk?" he asked teasingly, I rolled my eyes,  
"Bit of an inappropriate time to sleep don't you think?" I asked skeptically.

"She didn't sleep last night." Rodney replied simply before freezing slightly, I raised an eyebrow at him,  
"Why do I get the feeling there's more you're not telling us?" I asked as Teyla nodded in agreement. Rodney shot Tegan a glance and pulled her into his side instead so her head was resting on his chest, where she quickly snuggled down a little more until she was comfy and was soon snoring lightly again.  
"I'm not supposed to tell you but she's got insomnia and she didn't sleep last night. You didn't find out from me though." He said quickly, we nodded quickly as I thought through this new information. She couldn't go on a team then surely? We couldn't have her just collapsing into sleep at random intervals, unless she didn't do that. Once again I found myself needing to know more about her.  
"Does she just fall asleep when she fancies it all the time because we can't have her collapsing all over Atlantis." I pointed out, he shook his head,  
"No she doesn't, we've been here for hours bored as hell with nothing to do but sit and talk, so she's took the oppurtunity to get her energy back, she could wake up any second now and have the energy to single handedly get us all out of 's weird." he explained with a small shrug. It made no sense to me but basically I got from that that she wouldn't be a liabilty off-world at least.

Tyre came round the corner just then and opened the cell door,  
"The commander wants to see you Sheppard." he said his voice monotone, giving nothing away. Traitorus asshole, I thought as I stood up and followed him deciding it'd be best not to argue with him. Not when he had his sword on him anyway though I wasn't to confident that I'd win in a fight. However when we round the next corner, Tyre instead releases my arm and looks at me, "Do not worry colonel Sheppard,here, take these." he handed me two glocks and I raised an eyebrow at him, "I never intended to betray you Sheppard. Hurry, we can still get Ronon and your teams out of here." he said turning and grabbing my arm again after I'd stowed my weapons away in my waistband and dragged me through the corridors until I was kneeling infront of the wraith commander, Ronon stood and watched impassively.  
"Colonel Sheppard." the commander hissed, I turned to Ronon,  
"Ronon buddy, remember we're you're friends, we came to recuse you, come on give a man a hand?" I tried unsure of what Tyre's plan was. The commander laughed viciously.

"I have cracked him, he is broken colonel Sheppard he worships me now! You have heart, a strong leader, you would be an asset, join me." he tried making his voice softer now, which I knew meant a he was getting a hell of a lot more dangerous. Frowning I looked up at him and licked my lips a littel before saying,  
"I think I'll pass on that one thanks." The commander didn't seem to like my answer though and lifted his hand, preparing to strike.  
"Then we can do this the hard way." he hissed his hand coming forward fast to strike my chest and begin feeding, I tried not to flinch as Tyre whipped his sword out and cut his hand off so he fell back screeching in pain. Bringing myself up off of my knees into a crouch I bought out my glocks and twisted, firing them both in the opposite directions so the commander was down on his back and the wraith trying to get into the room were falling too. It seemed to take forever hearing the clash of swords behind me letting me know Tyre and Ronon had engaged in a sword fight as I reloaded and fired in rapid succession. I could hear Ronon grunting behind me and Tyre's sharp intake of breathe, and as I turned around I watched Ronon, who had straddled Tyre, beat the crap out of him. I was about to tackle him or something to help Tyre when the rest of my team came around the corner, Lorne's team following closely as Teyla fired the wraith stunner three times at him until he fell off of Tyre, who quickly pushed him off as the smell of coppery blood began filling the air.

I could see why, Tyre had a gash on his stomach from where Ronon's sword had hit him, his face was more blood than skin but he still pushed himself to his feet as Lorne and Rodney pulled Ronon to his feet to drag him through the corridors as Teyla handed me a p-90, reloading everything so I had full ammo before I motioned for Tyre to lead the way,  
"Come on lets get out of here." I said firmly watching as Tyre lead us down the corridor, there were more wraith there and Tegan had shot them both down before any of us could react. Until once again we found ourselves surrounded again. Tyre had dragged the commander along with us and stole the detonator...wait, stole the detonator?! Great so he'd placed charges and stole my detonator, I really needed to start paying closer attention to what was going on around me. We stopped hunched down in the corridor and Tyre looked at the commander,  
"Tell them to back off or I blow this place sky high. Do it." he demanded his voice low and harsh, The commander was gasping for air as he slowly he bled to death,  
"What's to stop you...doing that...anyway?" he rasped, Tyre rolled his eyes,  
"One last bargain, if you let the Lanteans leave, I give you the detonator." he said, I looked at him unsure of what to say, that wasn't going to help in the long run but in the time it took me to mentally debate the problem the commander had already agreed and ordered the wraith to stand by.

"Move, now go!" I ordered letting the others go before me as they edged their way down the corridor, I turned to Tyre, "Come on, I'm not leaving you behind." my tone was firm as I could make it but Tyre just smiled and handed me his sword,  
"I'll be right behind you." though his actions made it clear he wasn't going to be. Tyre was sacrificing himself to save us, that was one debt we'd never be able to repay. I nodded slightly knowing I wasn't going to sway him.  
"Thank you." I said and sincerely I meant it. This was going to play on my mind later, I realised as I hurried away through the halls before stepping into the blinding sunlight and blinking once or twice to gather my bearings, my team and Lorne's were waiting as quickly we made our way back through the forest, we moved fast before finally reaching the gate but every step felt like it was weighing me down, Tyre should of been with us right now but he wasn't and that was bugging me more than I could say. Tapping my earpiece I motioned for someone to dial the gate, Teyla did and as I spoke, they filed through the wormhole. "We're clear, it's been a pleasure Tyre, thank you." my voice was quiet, considerate. Tyre replied with one word, 'likewise', before I stepped through the gate and told Chuck to shut it down. I didn't want to hear the explosion or watch the event horizon ripple anymore than normal. Keller had already got Ronon and taken him away, the rest of us headed to the armoury with the promise of debriefing Woolsey on events in an hour.

Rodney had already departed to the mess hall, Teyla to see Torren and Kanaan. Lorne's team had left to and the only people left were me and Tegan. She looked up at me and smiled briefly. Was that a look of sympathy on her face? I was hoping not, I didn't do well with sympathy, heck I didn't do well emotion full stop.  
"You did the right thing you know." her voice was quiet but it rang in the air and I looked up at her as I put away my weapons.  
"Sure." my voice clearly told her this conversation was over but she clearly didn't understand.  
"Then why do you have such a guilty look on your face?" she pressed on unaware of the irritaion this was causing me, I didn't answer hoping she'd get the message, I knew she was trying to help but I really didn't need it right now. Not knowing that I needed to see I left without another word tapping my earpiece along the way to find out where Ronon was.  
"Colonel Sheppard, he's in the infirmary, he's going through withdrawal too." Keller said quietly in reply. Frowning I walked to the infirmary but I couldn't stay there long, none of us could while he screamed and begged us to kill him. Several days later, when I finally returned to the infirmary no words between us were needed, instead, I just placed Tyre's sword in his hand,clapped his shoulder and left again, heading for the pier or the balcony so I could do some serious thinking.


	5. Really One Of The Team

**Hey there, I don't think I put this in the other chapters at the beginning of my story so I'm saying it now...I don't own Stargate Atlantis and this story is based off of season five and a bit of my own plot at the very only thing I own is Tegan, she is a character I made up for this story, thank you to the person that reviewd for me and the two followers. :D **

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Tegan's Point Of View:  
It had been another week after we'd arrive back on Atlantis for Ronon to go through withdrawal and another two or three days after that until he was allowed out of the infirmary, I'd gone to visit him once but mostly we'd just sat in silence. I hadn't heard anything about where I was placed or what my job was, so it had been a fairly boring week of showers, eating, sleeping and gym. I'd sparred with Teyla and she was teaching me how to fight with Bantos sticks, I'd seen colonel Sheppard occasionly and had dinner with him and his team quite a lot, we were all pretty friendly really except there was always an awkward atmosphere between me and Sheppard when we were alone. I'd also made friends with Torren, Teyla's son, the little guy was adorable and as uncomfortable as I was with kids I couldn't help but think I was getting better, but I still needed a lot of guidance from Teyla who appeared to be a natural mom and very good at her job at the same time. Currently I was walking to Woolsey's office, he had summoned me there few minutes ago and considering I pretty much new my way around Atlantis now it didn't take me long to get there, suprisingly when I got there I saw Sheppard sitting in one of the comfy looking grey chairs, he gave me a nod and a quick smile, motioning to the seat beside him.

Sitting carefully I looked at Woolsey with an expectant face. He looked up from his paperwork and smiled,  
"Do you know what this is lieutenant?" he asked me with a sparkle in his brown eyes behind his square glasses. Woosley was a balding man with a ring of dark hair around his head and a face that seemed to be permanently grimacing although he had this polite smile he used a lot that only made his face crease a little more. I drew my brows together in a frown before slowly shaking my head looking between him and Sheppard, who looked thoroughly unamused by it all and rolled his gorgeous hazel eyes,  
"Can you just tell her already?" he groaned. Woolsey rolled his eyes back and frowned slightly,  
"I was building up the suspense." he said to defend himself but Sheppard just shot him a look that clearly said he didn't care. I didn't either, the anticipation was niggling at me and making me feel just a little giddy if I was honest. "Well, lieutenant, this is colonel Sheppards report on the mission to rescue Ronon." he said watching my reaction. I grimaced a little, so I was still going to get into trouble for trusting Tyre? This was my fallout?  
"In my defence Tyre did come back and get us out of the cell, he never intended to double cross us with the wraith." I said crossing my arms over my chest, Woolsey frowned,  
"What?" he asked, Sheppard however chuckled,  
"You're not in trouble James, it's good news." he assured me a mischievious sparkle in his hazel eyes.

His whole demanour was screaming I know something you don't know and his boyish grin made me struggle to contain my own smile. That and the way the light was shining off of his touseled hair (that looked so damn soft that I found myself wanting to run my hands through it like some sort of crazed fangirl) was making him look hotter than usual. "Put her out of her misery sir will you?" Sheppard asked teasingly. Least he liked me, damn former CO's. Woolsey sighed,  
"Alright, alright. After evaluating your performance on this mission colonel Sheppard has requested you be put on an off-world team." My eyebrows tried to escape into my hairline as my mouth dropped into a small o shape. Sheppard cleared his throat,  
"Not just any team either, I want you on mine." he added in making my jaw drop just that little bit furthur. Composing myself I swallowed and blinked a little,  
"That's...that's...I mean...oh wow..." I stammered, I was more than happy with the idea, more than willing to do it, but eventually I was going to have to leave wasn't I? As soon as the problems back home were sorted I'd have to go, I'd only been here for two weeks but I knew Atlantis was only a short term solution, that I didn't have a proper contract to stay here. I didn't want to leave this behind, I knew that already.

Woolsey must of known surely, as if he knew what I was thinking he smiled and held up a whole stack of papers.  
"This is a year long contract, if you wish to join the team and stay then you're required to sign it yes, what do you say lieutenant?" he asked, I smiled broadly and nodded,  
"Where's the pen?" I replied and Woolsey produced it from his pocket, standing I took it and without hesitation signed the contract with a flourish, officialy making myself part of the team. Outside we could hear Rodney kicking up a storm about something on one of the laptops and after filing the paperwork away Woolsey dismissed us, Sheppard walked with me and looked at me with a small smile,  
"Welcome to the team lieutenant, can I ask why you're only just signing the contract now though?Were you not expecting to stay in Atlantis?" he asked. I froze a little, biting my lip, I didn't want him to dragged into the crazy mess known as my life, but maybe he really needed to know? Could I tell him? I'd only known him two weeks, could I really let him in so easily so soon? Taking a breathe I found I couldn't meet his eyes as I replied,  
"I got into trouble back home that required major relocation, I don't really like talking about it." my voice was quiet and to my dismay, there was a shade of hurt in there too. Sheppard raised a dark brow at me and seemed to grimace,  
"For my own sanity please tell me you didn't murder someone." he said sounding curious, too curious.

Sighing I shook my head,  
"If you really must know someone was going to try and murder me." I said quickly walking over to Rodney before he could say another word. Me and Rodney had spent some time catching up over the past two weeks, he knew everything that was going on and was pushing me to trust people here. We'd had a quiet dinner once to talk things through and the gossip mill on Atlantis was rumouring that we were dating, but neighter of us cared since his team and I knew the truth, we weren't and would never consider dating one another because we had been family. Quite literally, Rodney's parents had looked after me for the best part of three years. When I arrived he took one look at my face and saw something that clearly made him curious,  
"What?" he asked me, I smiled wearily,  
"Nothing much." I replied but he gave me that look that said we were talking later. Chuck, one of the technicians flagged down colonel Sheppard, who quickly called over Rodney, who dragged me with him.  
"Doctor Mckay a spaceship just appeared out of nowhere above M35-177, no hyperspace window or anything, it just...appeared." Chuck informed us.

Raising an eyebrow at Rodney we watched him push his way past Chuck to type on his laptop, a thoughtful frown on his face as I cast a sideways look at Sheppard who shrugged, like spaceships popping up out of nowhere was a normal occurence. I suppose around here it was.  
"Okay so...wait, the IFF signal is that of the Daedalus but they just completed a return journey to Earth." Rodney said looking up at us,  
"But I thought that those journey's took three weeks?" Sheppard asked, Rodney nodded and opened his mouth to say something but Sheppard cut him off. "Open a channel." he ordered stern leader face back on again. Woolsey had joined us by this time but I could hardly contain my giggles as Rodney looked so annoyed at being cut off, his face was literally scrunched up as he glared at Sheppard, "Daedalus this is Atlantis please come in." there was a pause before Sheppard repeated the sentence more forcefully this time, finally after the fifth try he got bored. Rodney was busy typing again at the computer and I leaned my arms over the ridge at the top of the lit up console as I waited to see what was what. "I propose we take a jumper up there." Sheppard said finally, Woolsey gave him one curt nod before Sheppard tapped his earpiece, "Teyla Ronon we're heading out, gear up." he ordered before looking at me and Rodney with a grin, "Come on team." his voice was chipper and it made me laugh the way he bounced off with such enthusiasm, so childishly. Rodney frowned a little as we walked after him,  
"Wait are you saying Tegan's part of the team?" he called after Sheppard who was furthur down the corridor than us, Sheppard nodded with another boysih grin as he walked backwards into the armoury,  
"That's exactly what I'm saying." he replied turning as we geared up, Teyla and Ronon entering the room where Rodney shared the good news with them proudly.

I blushed a little, he had such pride in his voice when he said it you'd of thought he was my dad or something. Ronon turned to me and smirked, ruffling my hair a little as Teyla said a congratulations with that gracious smile she seemed so good at and bowed her head,  
"Congrats Tiny, new you'd be good round here." he said gruffly and I rolled my eyes as I blew my hair out of my face before groaning and retieing it in a ponytail.  
"I told you already five foot five is not tiny!" I exclaimed indignantly. Sheppard rolled his eyes and lead us to a place I hadn't been before called the Jumper bay. Grinning like a kid I bounced inside after them, I'd read about Puddle Jumpers in reports but had never been for a flight in one, apparently they could go rather fast, were agile, had awesome drone weapons and could go into space! Way cool! I sat there with a grin on my face, Ronon standing behind my chair with his hands on the top as the machinery lit up for Sheppard when he sat down, his hands on the controls. I watched the front screen as the sunlight poured in, and the vast cloudless blue sky opened up infront of us, the ocean below us shimmering as Sheppard took us higher and higher,  
"How'd you like our version of flying Tea?" Rodney asked with a smirk seeing my kid at christmas face. I nodded eagerly as the atmosphere created a cloudy hazy layer above us,  
"It's amazing!" I breathed, wonder in my voice as Sheppard shot us into space, probably going faster than he should of because the stars were streaking past us and looking a little blurry.

My grin only widened as Sheppard smirked at me, god that smirk was so sexy. "Okay now this...this should be done more often." I said happily leaning back in the chair as the rest of the team laughed at me, my team, I was part of it now. I had a team. The thought alone made my smile wider as I stared out the window in awe at the big black blanket speckled with silver.  
"We do it every once in a while. Wait 'till you see a spaceship up close." Rodney said with a grin before turning back to the screen and frowning, "Wait...oh this is not good...I'm not picking up any life signs aboard the ship." he said looking at Sheppard. My smile faded as Sheppard took us in slower to look at the underbelly of the Daedalus. The ship was huge and grey, but there were...black stains on the hull. My brows drew into a frown as I narrowed my eyes,  
"Are those scorch marks?" I asked, Sheppard frowned a little,  
"I believe so, perhaps from weapons fire." Teyla suggested as we studied the ship closely, Rodney let out another whoa and we all turned to look at him, he really had a dramatic way of presenting things didn't he?  
"Hardly any of the systems are working, the ships practicaly dead in the water." he muttered thoughtfully starring at the screen as the radi0 sprung to life,  
"Puddle Jumper 1 this is Atlantis, we just recieved a communiqué from Stargate Command, the Daedalus is still two days out from Earth,that's not the Daedalus." it was Chuck and this new news only disturbed me a little more.

An uneasy feeling settled in my stomach as Sheppard and Mckay discussed the possibilities before finally saying,  
"Atlantis this is Puddle Jumper 1 we're going to go in for a closer look." Sheppard steered the Puddle Jumper to a sort of hangar as Atlantis replied,  
"Okay, be careful Puddle Jumper 1." then it went quiet. My stomach knotted slightly, I had a bad feeling about this and I decided to voice it.  
"I don't think this is a good idea." I murmered. Ronon grunted,  
"Where's your sense of adventure Tiny?" he asked in his usual gruff voice, christ why did he have to call me Tiny! I shook my head,  
"It's nothing to do with my sense of adventure Ronon I just have a bad gut feeling and my guts never far wrong." I insisted, Sheppard frowned,  
"We'll only stay for a few minutes, check out the bridge and see what we find then engineering, see what information we can extract and we'll leave again, okay?" he asked, everyone looked at him for a minute like he'd grown a second head but I just nodded slightly and kept my gaze on the darkness we were soon engulfed in as we flew into the bay. The team rose from their places simaultaneously before walking to the back of the Jumper. For the most part I stayed relaxed, no life signs meant no aliens on board and nothing to attack us however that didn't mean I didn't keep my finger poised above the trigger. I frowned ever so slightly as the back door of the Jumper lowered and let in a gust of cold air that sent a shiver down my spine.

I felt sorry for Sheppard, at least the rest of us had a jacket of sorts on, he only had his baggy black cargo pants and a black button up shirt with the badges on with nothing underneath,and the sleeves only went to his elbows. The cold air surrounded us and wrapped us in its embrace making goosebumps rise on my skin as I tried not to shiver,  
"Do you want to take it in turns with my jacket?" I asked him, Sheppard's eyebrows rose at the offer and he shook his head,  
"Nah, it's not that cold I'll be fine." he said with a reassuring smile, I nodded but made a mental note to ask him about it later incase that statement changed. Leading us out into the grey corridors we saw they were empty and just as cold as the Jumper bay. "Rodney, you and Ronon go down to engineering and see what's up with the power. Me Teyla and Tegan'll head to the bridge." he said, I don't know why, but the way he said my name sent a shockwave through me and I wanted to hear him say it again. Shaking myself out of this daze I pushed the thoughts from my head, knowing it was stupid and ridiculous and instead followed him down the corridors with Teyla at my side. We kept our wits about us checking out everything around us, there were no bodies at all. Nothing, the ship was eerily silent and the only sounds we could hear was our breathing and our footsteps echoing through halls. So I jumped when Sheppard's earpiece went off and Rodney began reporting everything.

"Most of the vital systems are barely online including weapons, shields, not to mention hyperdrive and subspace communications are beyond repair. Explains why it's so cold huh?" Sheppard rolled his eyes,  
"Yeah Mckay just a little, can you get anything not too badly damaged online?" Sheppard asked him, Rodney said he'd work on it before signing off as I shivered again, "You gonna be okay? Jumper has thermal blankets if you wanna head back that way." he offered. I shook my head,  
"What and miss this? No way." I said with a smile, he nodded and we stepped onto what I presumed was the bridge, it had a command chair, two consoles either side of it and a large area behind it with screens and consoles, not to mention the really cool viewing window to the right when you walked in. I looked around in awe, searching for anything out of the ordinary with Sheppard and Teyla, it occured to me then that he knew my first name, but I didn't know his. I wondered what it was briefly? Maybe his name was Peter? It suited him and he looked like a Peter I suppose but it could of been a whole range of other things.  
"It is definitely the Daedalus, should I try and find the last ships log?" Teyla asked, Sheppard blinked looking surprised as Teyla stood by the keyboard under the tiny monitor to the left, I walked over to join them as he said,  
"You can do that?" she nodded in reply and tilted her head to the left, brows raised in innocent curiosity,  
"Yes, major Marks taught me how the last time I was here, why?" she asked, Sheppard shook his head,  
"No reason just...so how about that entry log?" he asked awkwardly averting his gaze as she typed on the keys a small smirk on her face as I tried not to laugh,this team was different to the squad I had worked with in Afghanistan, they were more relaxed not so uptight and the CO wasn't dominating, he was open to suggestion and liked to join in the banter.

Finally, Teyla pulled up a recording, I didn't recognise the woman on the screen but behind her sparks were flying and people were scurrying around. Frowning I watched the chaos on screen as the woman pleaded for anyone to help them if this video was found and when it was over, static filled the screen I swallowed,  
"Those poor people." I muttered. Sheppard and Teyla looked at one another before turning to me,  
"She's not the commander of the Daedalus, this isn't our Daedalus at all." Sheppard said frowning. There was a crackle when the radio sprung to life.  
"Daedalus this is Atlantis please respond." I recognised Lorne's voice as Sheppard sat in the command chair and looked ove the buttons for a minute before pressing one,  
"This is Daedalus go ahead?" he replied as a minor tremor shook the ship.  
"Sir we're reading an energy spike on the ship." Lorne informed him before another, more powerful shake occured making me and Teyla clutch the console to remain standing, Sheppard tapped his earpiece and stood up quickly,  
"Rodney, Ronon fall back to the Jumper were getting out of here." he ordered as we hurried to follow him out of the room, but no sooner did we get out into the corridor a blinding white light stopped us, I couldn't see a thing and threw my arm up to shield my eyes as I screwed them closed and braced my hand against the wall to keep from falling. My stomach was fluttering with butterflies, worry making my stomach knot tightly as I waited for the ship to stop shaking.

When it finally did slow enough for me tos tand up straight I withdrew my arm and blinked open my eyes, looking around to see the lights were now running at full power as opposed to minimum. Shaking the disorientated feeling from my head I looked around to see Teyla and Sheppard were doing okay. Walking back into the bridge Teyla tapped a few consoles as me and Sheppard followed, "Is the ship okay?" he asked worriedly. Teyla slowly nodded,  
"Yes but...John Atlantis is gone, it's dissappeared." she said, I frowned,  
"John?" I asked before I could stop myself, Sheppard looked at me,  
"My name." he answered vaugley. I nodded once to say I understood and thought it over. John Sheppard. It was a nice name, it suited him and his touseled hair and hazel eyes. Dammit he was too noticeable, that was his problem, or rather, my problem was I kept noticing him. I wasn't too sure which way around that was.  
"Hey guys, look I need you to go somewhere for me." Rodney said over the radio before giving us a bunch of directions that I didn't understand, so I had to follow Sheppard and Teyla again,realising there was a hell of a lot of following going on today. The ship was still freezing and my hands were numb by this time, I was having a harder time repressing the shivers but I still just about managed.

Sheppard opened the door just as Ronon and and Rodney came around the corner, Rodney was talking at a super fast pace using his hands to explain things.  
"The energy signatures practicaly the same as the one we saw when alternate me came for a visit and so therefore I'm thinking...an...alternate...daedalus." his speech slowed and quietened as he looked in the room, turning my attention there I gasped a little my hand flying to my mouth,  
"Oh my god. That's not good." I mumbled, Sheppard nodded slowly,  
"Next time you say you have a bad gut feeling, I'm trusting your instincts and turning us round." he muttered, both of us sharing a long glance before we turned our attention to inside of the room again.I felt my own face go pale at the sight of the rest of my team, the team that were standing around me at that moment, starring at their dopplegangers as they lay on the floor, very pale with their eyes closed, and very very dead.


	6. Close Encounters

It had been half an hour since we'd found those bodies, Sheppard and Ronon had quickly put them somewhere none of us were going to go (the brig) after Sheppard said they could of been dead for months and the coldness of the ship had just preserved the bodies, then Rodney had made the 'd plucked the tablet from his dead alternate counter part and started using it which I thought was super gross but didn't say anything because he said we'd hit the jackpot. According to him, the alternate team Sheppard had come to investigate the suddenly materialising Daedalus but the ship had jumped to another reality before they could leave like we had, they'd tried to find a way out too apparently but clearly they'd failed and eventually ran out of supplies, then Rodney had made the one statement that had actually scared me more than anything. _If an alternate version of me couldn't figure this out then how can I in this reality?! _Honestly, that had scared me, how could Rodney go from being so cocky and egotistical to suddenly having no confidence in his abilities? What the actual hell! The only one who seemed to notice I was frightened though, because I hid it pretty damn well, was Ronon. He kept shooting me glances every so often as Sheppard tried to calm every down,  
"Okay, Rodney, look take a look around, you have some research to get you started and if you keep working on it you'll pull one of those miracles you're so good at out of the bag. Teyla, Ronon you pair go out, look for any supplies you can find, we can make do with as little as you can get, Tegan with me and we'll go looking to." he said dishing out things to keep us all occupied, Ronon nudged me on the way out with his arm, a comforting gesture I appreciated and that I repied to with a small smile.

Sheppard turned to look at me,  
"We should go back up to the bridge, see if we can find Atlantis and contact them." he said studying my face for a second as I nodded. Walking silently for a moment, that awkward tense silence was back and I could feel his eyes on me every now and again but I kept my gaze on the corridor ahead as we stepped back out onto the bridge and Sheppard used the chair to try and comunicate with Atlantis. Upon getting no response I drew in a shaky breathe, shivering again. "You look pale." Sheppard commented.  
"I'm cold." I admitted, he raised an eyebrow and nodded a little,  
"Yeah, if I'm honest, me to." he replied walking toward me, "Your lips are going blue too." he added with a frown, I blushed a little feeling the warmth of it sting my cheeks,  
"I handle the cold just fine mentally, physically not so much." I whispered, he looked amused by that as he took my hands and tried to warm them for me with his breathe and some friction,  
"Your hands are also like blocks of ice. Come on, back to the jumper see what other layers we can find for you, you're not catching hypothermia if I can help it." he said starting to drag me out of the room before dropping my hand and leading me back through the corridors. It took us a total of five minutes to reach the jumper and the silence between us had grown as we rummaged around for something. Sheppard pulled out a couple of blankets before finding a spare jacket.

I frowned a little as he held it out,  
"Are you sure you don't need it?" I asked looking at his bare arms, he nodded and quickly I took off the tac vest and slid on the other jacket underneath before gearing back up and leaving the jumper after I'd mumbled a quick thank you. We were walking back to the main part of the ship when Rodney contacted him,  
"Sheppard, I found out what's making us jump to different realities, it's an alternate reality drive, the math of it is really complicated so I'll save you the details but either way, it charges after each jump then the discharge is what makes us jump to the other realities. It's rechargeable, that means we can't stop it, we're just gonna keep jumping and jumping, it's almost recharged now." he replied, Sheppard frowned,  
"Don't you have anyway of controlling where it jumps to?" he asked, I heard Rodney sigh,  
"No, it's still in the experiemntal stage basically. It works but needs fine tuning. Brace yourselves for another jump, we're at 98% power." he warned us. Me and Sheppard look at one another and began sprinting for the bridge quickly. When we got there we found it empty, no Ronon or Teyla but we at least had access to what little weapons we had now, we looked around as if we expected to find something in the room before the familiar shaking started up again, we were encased in the surrounding white light and I clutched the console desperately to balance myself and buried my head in my arms. By the time the shaking stopped and I looked up, Sheppard was looking a little worried, even more so as we just stared at one in another in tense silence for at least five minutes, both of us frozen and unable to move.

Finally I managed to say,  
"Are you okay?" though my voice sounded strained and tense. Slowly he nodded and straightened out,  
"Yeah...you?" I nodded my head in reply as Teyla's voice sounding extremely worried came over the radio,  
"Colonel the ships sensors have deteceted an unidentified alien ship and Atlantis, they're engaged in a battle and the alien ship appears to be winning." she said sounding shocked. Sheppard and me raced into action as he pointed me to the console.  
"Okay, use that to aim and that to fire, take out as many as you can." he ordered pointing at the buttons I needed. Swallowing I got myself familiar with the controls but it wasn't to long before Sheppard said, "We got fighters come on James!" Praying I had pressed the right buttons I fired, and much to my surprise,it was kind of like playing that old videogame, alien invaders, only the targeting system was a little more complex but I got in a few good hits. Sparks were flying, the ship was rocking in a sickening motion and my heart had accelerated and my stomach was in knots as adrenaline raced round my body, more kept coming and no matter how hard I tried I knew I wasn't going to get them all, not with my aim, not under this pressure. There was another huge jolt and Sheppard yelled a curse word that shocked me a little, "That ship just crashed into the hull!Mckay I need options!" his voice was demanding and authoritive and a violent jolt threw me to the floor from my chair where I quickly pushed myself up and clung to the console. "Now Rodney!" Sheppard yelled reaching his hand out towards me, I took it and he pulled me into him quickly, safely tucking me between him and the console as the ship rocked again.

I didn't hear what Rodney said, I just saw Teyla and Ronon run in on wobbly feet as I curled as close as I could to Sheppards body and screwed my eyes up so I didn't have to see anything. The ships rocking got worse and I could hear nothing but the pounding of fighters firing on us and Sheppard's fast heartbeat in my ear. His arm had closed around my waist holding me to him protectively and inspite of all the chaos, I felt safe, warm. Finally, the ship stopped rocking. Slowly lifting my head I looked around before looking at Sheppard's gaze. His eyes dropped down before back up to my face and I realised I'd clutched the fabric of his shirt in my fists and was holding him very very tightly. Breathing hard I made my numb fingers let go, mumbled what I hoped sounded like an apology and got off of him, both of us lookig awkwardly around the room and anywhere but each other as I ran a hand through my hair, trying to steady my breathing which was seemingly impossible next to the frantic thudding of my heart against my ribs.  
"You guys are going to give me a bloody complex!" I breathed, Ronon smirked,  
"Suck it up Tiny, you'll be as insane as us in no time." he promised, his voice holding such conviction I believed him, Teyla was tapping on keys as I felt the air getting hotter. And hotter, and hotter and hotter.

Finally I stripped off both jackets,  
"Is it just me or is it getting hotter in here?" Sheppard asked at the same time I did, Teyla nodded,  
"No, the temperature of the ships hull is increasing. Very very quickly." she informed us creasing her brow. I swallowed,  
"Oh today just isn't your day is it?" I asked looking at Sheppard, he rolled his hazel eyes but a small smile played on his lips,  
"You hear that Rodney, any ideas?" he asked, there was silence for a minute and Sheppard quickly called Rodney's name to check he was alright,  
"I'm fine just thinking give me a minute!" Rodney snapped back. A few more minutes of tense silence and I felt beads of sweat beginning to break out all over my body and I had to start fanning myself with my hand,  
"Come on Rodders, think faster." I muttered rolling my eyes to the ceiling and blowing out a breathe. Rodney let out a breathe and I could hear him typing furiously over the radio,  
"Okay, we're orbiting a red giant with hardly any shields...I'm throwing everything we've got into powering the jump generator again Ronon, Sheppard get down to engineering and help me transfer the power now!" he said sounding stressed out. Sheppard motioned for Teyla and me to follow and we all practicaly ran down the corridors, my hair had started to plaster to my face by now it was so hot and I was beginning to feel nauseous as my stomach twisted again in that horrible knot feeling as Teyla sat at the console, Sheppard behind her as I stood facing them,  
"What should I do Rodney?" Teyla asked frowning at the controls as she blew a stray strand of hair from her face.

My ears picked up on a small bang back in the corridor,I was all set to pass it off as a hallucination however Ronon had appeared to hear it to and was leaving the room to check it out. Deciding Teyla and Sheppard were more than capable of looking after the ship for now, I followed Ronon, that same feeling of unease sweeping over me again as I joined him in the corridor, he looked surpsied to see me,  
"You hear it to?" he asked pulling out his gun, it was different to any I'd ever seen. Nodding slightly we fell into an easy silence, both of us looking around the corridor alert and tense, fingers poised on our triggers I waited patiently in the intersection where we heard it again. Ronon raised an eyebrow slightly before carefully opening the nearest door. There stood an alien, about the same height as Ronon if not a bit taller, he looked like a borg from star trek or something, grey skin chunky metal armour. Raising my p-90 I watched as they clashed together, the alien easily overpowering Ronon who struggled to get his arm free as the alien landed ontop of him and went about trying to kill him. My heart leapt up into my throat as I aimed very very carefully, holding my breathe I fired, wasting a whole magazine on the damn thing and sucking in a deep breathe to bellow at the top of my lungs,  
"Sheppard we've got hostiles on board!" The alien was weak enough as I was reloading at rapid pace, for Ronon to wiggle his arm free, three blasts of red light from Ronon's gun and it finally went down for the count. I was still standing ready when Sheppard skidded round the corner, Ronon stood and brushed himself off and nodded at me as he massaged his throat.  
"What the hell?" Sheppard asked lifting his own p-90 in anticipation.  
"The fighter that crashed into the hull must have deposited the borg collective on board." I suggested sarcastically.

Sheppard raised an eyebrow,  
"Your a star trek fan?" he asked looking me up and down, I raised my eyebrow back,  
"Does it matter right now?" I replied looking him and up and down too to try and make my point, but really, it just meant I got to drag my eyes over his body and wonder what muscle his baggy clothes were hiding. Snapping my eyes up to his gaze I saw that sexy smirk on his face again,  
"Just tryna be friendly." he shot back, I rolled my eyes lightly,  
"How's about we kill the rest of the bad guys first then we can play twenty questions later?" I asked loading a fresh magazine into my p-90 and turning to the open door as Sheppard asked,  
"The rest of the bad guys?" As if on cue and just as I suspected two more alien bad guys walked through the door and started shooting at us. I had already emptied my magazine into one and Ronon's added shots finished him off,there was a blinding white light as the ship shook, we were jumping again which momentaily distracted the remaining hostile alien, Sheppard was firing with me and together, we took down the other one. I suddenly became very very aware of him, there was a heatwave full of static electricity rolling off of him and I couldn't resist flicking my eyes up to his face, from the way he was looking at me I could tell he felt it to. "Those bad guys?" he asked, it was my turn to smirk,  
"Those would be the ones colonel yes." my reply was probably a little sarcastic and snarky but he didn't seem to mind.

Finally, the ship was quiet. Turning on my heel I quickly left and walked back to Teyla, she looked up at me,  
"Is everything okay?" she asked standing and reaching for her gun, I nodded a small smile on my face,  
"It's okay, we got them." I promised watching her visibly relax. We stood in companiable silence and slowly, the heat began to fade and I was left chilly again, goosebumps breaking out on my skin. Frowning slightly I said, "I'm gonna go back up to the bridge and get my jacket, it's gone cold again." Teyla nodded and as I left I passed Sheppard and Ronon, but it wasn't long before I heard footsteps coming after me. Turning my head over my shoulder I saw Ronon and Sheppard catching up to me. We walked in companiable silence until we got to the bridge, I was busy pulling back on my jacket and tieing the other around my waist when I heard Sheppard clear his throat sligtly looking at me dissapprovingly,  
"And I thought you were observant. Did you miss something?" he asked gesturing to the window, frowning I turned to see and my eyes widened, outside was an asteroid field, Taking a few steps towards the window I placed my fingertips on the cool glass and looked out in awe. It was strangley beautiful, to see them peaceful floating past us, not a care in the world. "Hey Rodney, any idea where we are?" Sheppard asked over the radio. I didn't listen to what Rodney said in reply, just stared out the window and watched the asteroids pass by. I was so absorbed by the sight, I didn't hear Sheppard calling my name until Ronon clapped my shoulder, "You in there James?" Sheppard asked, I nodded a small smile playing on my lips,  
"Yes, sorry. I've never seen an asteroid so close up." I said blushing slightly at the distration.

Sheppard nodded,  
"We'll go sightseeing later, Rodney's had an idea, he said he's gonna put the drive in reverse and we're gonna jump back through the realities in reverse order, we've got manueveing thrusters so he said he's gonna use them so we establish a stable orbit above that red giant and don't cook to death, then I want you back on the railguns again when we get to that reality with the fighters incase he can't get sublight working in time to outrun them." he said, I nodded once sitting back in the chair I'd sat in before and spinning left and right to pass the time.  
"Did he say how long it would take?" I asked curiously, Sheppard smiled a little but shook his head,  
"Nah but he said the jumps'll happen quicker now that he boosted the energy." he replied. Nodding slightly I allowed the silence to wash over me and thought about the irony of it, I'd escaped to another galaxy to boost my chances of survival yet I could be murdered by aliens any time now. Shaking my head a little I felt the ship shake slightly maybe ten minutes or so after reaching the bridge, throwing my arms up to protect my eyes as the blinding white light engulfed us I waited for the shaking to shop. "Good job none of us get travel sick." Sheppard said attempting to lighten the mood as I let my arm drop and squinted against the red light we were being bathed in thanks to orbiting a red giant.  
"We are in a stable orbit and the hull temperature is only increasing slightly, we will be okay, good work Rodney." Teyla said over the radio, she sounded so relieved and it suddenly occured to me that she was worried more so than anyone about not returning back to Atlantis. She had Torren to look after and being full time on the lead team meant she was in a whole lot of danger often.

The thought made me frown, Torren was a good baby, sweet and cuddly, he needed to grow up with his mom around. I on the other hand had nothing to return to, no family that I knew of, after just upping and leaving without being able to tell them where I had to go and why I doubted severely the people I'd once called friend would want me back. Well, that was depressing. Ten minutes had passed with only a slight temperature increase, Ronon and Sheppard had been talking while I zoned out thinking,however my stomach growled, breaking the silence that had settled peacefully around us. Sheppard and Ronon looked at me and smirked,  
"Hungry lieutenant?" he asked his tone mocking. The blood rushed to my cheeks and I swallowed a little before letting out a nervous laugh, rubbing my hand over the back of my neck, god how embarrassing did it have to be that loud?  
"Maybe a little." I said with a forced smile, Ronon rolled his eyes,  
"We got another Rodney." he grunted making me narrow my eyes,  
"Hey, I can go without food for up to three and a half days if needs must thank you very much." I said getting defensive as I crossed my arms over my chest defiantly staring into his brown eyes. He blinked back, staring back at me and seeing straight through me it seemed.  
"Talking form experience?" Sheppard asked curiously. I deliberated it for a moment and then nodded, it was just so easy to open up to him!  
"Yes, on tour in Afghanistan, our the truck blew up and we were trapped in a firefight with the enemy and our radios had been fried. It took us three days to get to the nearest settlement and radio for help." I said my voice getting a little quieter towards the end.

Sheppard nodded sympatheticly but Ronon remained stoic, clearly not big on emotion. I'd never told anybody but Rodney that, it was a part of me I didn't often share with anyone yet here I was, telling someone I'd barely known for two weeks. The problem was, I just found it so easy to open up to Sheppard, he was easy to trust with his light hearted manner but it was beginning to make me uncomfortable. It was too much to soon for me, I prefered to keep my secrets to myself and didn't let anyone close enough to be in such a position of trust. Only Rodney. Speaking of the Rodney, the ship shook again and I found the blinding white light kicked in as the drive started up, the shaking stopped again and looking up I looked out the window. The red giant was gone. Instead, was just space, stars and black sky but no asteroids or fighter ships...just nothing. Frowning I looked at Sheppard, "I did count them right didn't I? Shouldn't that alien ship be here?" I asked suspiciously, Sheppard nodded and tapped his earpiece,  
"Teyla, Rodney? What's up with that ship has it left?" he asked, Rodney passed the question to teyla and informed us he had sublight back online, and when Teyla answered, her voice was urgent,  
"They are behind us!" Sheppard quickly returned to the controls and I watched as the stars blurred together, he was flying the daedalus smoothly as I checked the guns, I was beginning to get targets on my screen, "They've launched more fighters." Teyla confirmed. Sheppard opened his mouth but I didn't give him time to say anything, aiming quickly and firing until one went down. I was a terible shot with the railguns but I took a few down, not however before they hit our engines and we stopped dead in our tracks.

My heart accelerated in fear as the ship rocked dangerously, I kept firing until my hand cramped up, at which point I had to stop and massage my hand back into action for a few minutes, all the while the ship was rocking, a few sparks flying behind us as a console blew,  
"James!" Sheppard yelled, quickly I returned to firing the railguns, ignoring the pull in my hand as together, me and Sheppard held off the fighters, Ronon watching us in anticipation, until I got even more targets on my screen, "Whoa wait don't shoot the new targets, they're ours there 302's!" he said sternly as I went back to firing on the red targets on my was a tense five minutes that had my stomach in knots and a frown of concentration on my face until finally, the fighters were all destroyed. Breathing a sigh of relief I leaned back in the chair,  
"If there's ever a space invaders tournament on Atlantis, I want you on my team." I joked smiling wearily at Sheppard who grinned back,  
"Nice shooting sister." he teased layering the american accent on thick, I raised an eyebrow,  
"We don't even look a like." I pointed out, he rolled his eyes a little and opened his mouth to have some smart ass retort when a voice came over the radio, it was a voice we all recognised, that made Sheppard's eyes widen slightly as he stared in shock at the console.  
"Daedalus this is lieutenant colonel John Sheppard, everything okay there?" I blinked a little,  
"When did you get a doppleganger?" I asked,  
"Tegan?" the alternate Sheppard asked over the radio sounding from our reality motioned for me to quiet down and cleared his throat a little,  
"This is Daedalus, er thanks for that colonel Sheppard." he said looking uncomfortable as he spoke to himself.

"Who is this?" alternate Sheppard replied, Sheppard shifted uncomfortably in the chair and rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, "It doesn't matter look we've er..gotta go...thanks for the help though, you're a good flyer and an excellent shot...and I'm sure a great leader too...and probably very handsome." he replied impishly as I snorted,  
"And you say Rodney has a big ego?" I whispered with a smirk, Sheppard scowled at me but seemed delighted when alternate him replied with,  
"Well thanks... you too." the ship started shaking again and checking my watch I saw it had been fifteen minutes since our last jump, it was time. Scrunching up my eyes as the blinding light rippled through the ship. "Okay folks, fall back to the jumper now so when we get to the right reality we can go straight home. I think we've worried them enough don't you?" Sheppard mused standing up as Ronon started for the door, falling into step beside me we walked down the corridors until we met up with Teyla and Rodney,the light banter continued and we were finally safe. Sounds like the ending of a fiarytale huh? Wrong, we were not safe, so not opened the door to the hanger bay, and a green phaser like shot hit him right in the shoulder. He just about kept his balance as Teyla shoved him out of the way, adrenaline shot through me and my reaction wsa as quick as Ronon's, Sheppard's a split second behind me as we opened fire and rained hell on the alien fighter, thank god there was only one I thought as I emptied a magazine on him. He was down as I finished reloading but there was something on his chest as he fell back, it was lighting up in segments, going round in a circle. My heart was beating ten to the dozen as I connected the dots.

"Fall back fall back!" Sheppard yelled as I helped Teyla pull Rodney to his feet and through the door, Sheppard slammed his hand down on the button and the door slid closed. A loud explosion still reached my ears and Sheppard looked around to check all of us out before his eyes landed on Rodney. "You're gonna be fine buddy just hang on, one more jump right?" he tried to cheer him up but Rodney, clutching his arm and breathing hard through his teeth looked up, red in the face and jaw clenched tight,  
"We just lost the jumper!" he ground out looking away as he swore loudly. Walking over to him I patted his uninjuried shoulder and looked up at Sheppard, he was right. There was no way off of this ship when we did jump back to our own reality. We had three minutes to think a solution. Chewing my lip I thought hard before I came up with something, looking at each of them in turn.  
"Once we're back in the right reality then won't Atlantis register the signal on their sensors? We can send a message and they can send another jumper right?" I asked hopefully, Sheppard's eyes brightened and he nodded eagerly,  
"Yeah, yeah! There you go see we're not gonna die!" he said cheerfully, Rodney shook his head and groaned,  
"No the jumper wouldn't get here in time using sublight to outrun those fighters means we're gonna reappear furthur away from Atlantis." Swallowing I pursed my lips as I tried to think of something, anything.  
"I say we blow the thing up when we get there, that way the drives bust and we can't jump anymore, gives the rescue jumper enough time to get here right?" Ronon huffed, Rodney shook his head,  
"NO! If you use c4 on that drive there's a damn good chance you'll rip a hole in the fabric of space-time and possibly destroy a solar system, our solar system and that is not a good thing." he argued.

I groaned,  
"Great you're full of good news aren't you." I grumbled, Sheppard shot me an exasperated look before returing to his thoughtful frowning face,I noticed how the concentration made his hazel eyes duller than usual, however they got this glint in them when he had an idea, and I watched them light up right then.  
"I got an idea, anyone claustrophobic?" he asked looking around the group with a triumphant smile, Rodney nodded,  
"Not overly so but after a few minutes it gets too much." he said shaking his head, I raised an eyebrow,  
"I locked you in a closet for an hour when we were sixteen and you were fine." I said, he rolled his eyes,  
"Yeah 'cause you kept talking to me." he said like it was obvious. Sheppard pinched the bridge of his nose before looking at us again,  
"Great, we'll keep talking to you then, follow me." he said with a quick hand gesutre and we followed unquestionably as he lead us to some sort of storage cupboard, where there were a hell of a lot of space suits. Rodney groaned but got the drift as Ronon helped him into one, Sheppard suited himself up as Teyla helped me and I helped her until we were both dressed in the suits. It was close, the helmet was stuffy and hard to breathe in until Teyla activated my oxygen supply and I did hers. It was fresher air but it still felt stuffy to me, but I had to get on with it if I wanted to live. Sheppard lead us back to the hanger bay and opened the door, I'd of expected the temperature to drop as we were sucked out into space, but it didn't, guess the closeness of the suit locked the heat in. We floated weightlessly for a few minutes in silence, as I took in our surroundings. I was encased in darkness but the stars were speckles of bright silver around me and it was just so beautiful.

I gasped a little and Sheppard chuckled down my ear,  
"Told you we'd go sightseeing later." he teased, I smiled,  
"Definitely worth all the trouble colonel. Thanks." I replied sincerely, my voice a little wistful, Sheppard's voice sounded confused,  
"For what?" he asked.  
"If you hadn't of asked me to join the team, I'd never of seen the stars up close." my reply was simple and short but it made Rodney groan,  
"Would you sto stop flirting for gods sake." I gasped a little my cheeks heating up,  
"We are not flirting!" me and Sheppard snapped defensively in unison, after that we fell silent until for a good five minutes, though it felt like hours, we saw a jumper coming into sight, our radio's crackled and Lorne's voice came over the radio,  
"Colonel Sheppard sir, I hope that's you and your team out there in those suits." Sheppard sighed in relief,  
"Yeah Lorne it's us, don't s'pose we could hitch a ride home could we?" he asked. Lorne replied with laughter and manuvered the jumper so he could open the hatch and scoop us up inside, after the door shut and it was safe, we took the suits off again and for a moment, I caught Sheppard's eyes, he smiled and gave me a nod and a soft smile graced my own face in return. Rodney walked past and groaned as he collapsed into the chair,  
"So flirting." he grumbled as I rolled my eyes and sat next to him,  
"Let's take a look at that shoulder you, and I suggest you stay quiet because this could be more painful than necessary if you open your mouth again." I threatened.


	7. Replicators Are Deadly!

"Lieutenant James, get your ass down to the armoury now." Sheppards voice was curt and woke me from my sleep with a jolt. Looking through bleary eyes around the room I sat up, propping myself up on my elbow to find that when I moved my hand over the light switch, nothing came on. A black out? That's a little weird I thought. Reaching for my earpiece I hooked it over my ear and tapped it once,  
"Was go-on?" I asked slurring my words a little as I yawned,  
"Just get to the armoury I'll explain when you get here." he said curtly signing off before I could ask anything else. It had been a quiet week, but I'd been plauged with sleepless nights, so consequently today I had skipped out on the simple reconissance mission to look for a suitable alpha site and caught up on some much needed sleep, checking my watch I was thankful it had a glow in the dark face. It was only four o'clock, surely that meant that the lights should be on? Standing up quickly feeling that something was wrong I shoved my feet into my boots and laced them up, redoing my hair so it was in a ponytail I walked to the door and waved my hand over the panel, my door however didn't budge. Frowning I tried again before I tapped my earpiece,  
"Colonel Sheppard I'm not going anyway sir, the door won't open I'm stuck in my room." I said trying not to let him hear the panic I was feeling, I was trapped in my own room I mean what the heck was that all about?! I heard Sheppard huff,  
"We'll swing by and pick you up then, hang tight be ready to leave." he ordered. Sighing I heard him sign off again and resorted to pacing my room.

It took the fifteen minutes to reach me until finally the doors slid open and on the other side, Sheppard was standing there with a few marines I didn't recognise as he thanked Rodney over the radio. Tossing me a vest I slipped it on and quickly clipped it up, catching the gun he tossed my way. I always kept my sidearm on me like most of the military officers did so that was not a problem. "Okay so we got a replicator running round base, you read anything about them?" he asked, I frowned a little,  
"Erm...sort of robotic lifeforms with the appearance of human bodys, unable to feel emotion and made of nanites right?" I asked, Sheppard nodded once as we walked,  
"Exactly, a group got trapped in subspace or something like that and invaded our computers, almost blew the circuits so Woolsey said they could make bodies for themself so they could ascend, it's real complicated, either way one of them is supposedly Doctor Weir and frankly I believe her but ones off and running about, called Koracen. Our job, track him down and kill him and believe me when I say that they take a hell of a lot of bullets." he said wryly, he looked severely bothered by all of this, his hazel eyes looked troubled and his whole demanour was tense. Doctor Weir had been a former commander of the Atlantis expedition, a thumping good one to from what I'd read since being here, clearly seeing her again was hurting him. Well it was bound to considering they had mourned her death and it was on a mission he was commanding that she died and now suddenly here she was again.

I nodded once,  
"Okay, so...why are we in darkness?" I asked, he rolled his eyes,  
"Koracen cut the power." he replied simply. I nodded once and Sheppard hesitated ever so slightly before looking at me and flicking his glance to two marines behind me, "Take Brady and Larson to make a trio. You're in charge of that search team." he said, I blinked a little shock running through me, he wanted me to lead them? "I know you can do this lieutenant don't let me down." he said turning and walking away before calling over his shoulder that we were to search the western corridors. Turning I looked at Brady and Larson who stared back at me,  
"Er...ma'am?" one said awkwardly, I raised an eyebrow,  
"I'm not that old, who's who?" I asked, the big black marine with burly forearms and sparkling brown eyes pointed at himself,  
"I'm Brady, that's Larson." he said pointing at the smaller younger white marine beside him with the sea green eyes and shocking head of curly dirty blonde hair. Guess someone never caught wind of the cropped short military hairstyle. I nodded my head once,  
"Nice to meet you, my names James, come on then let's get searching, you know the drill I presume, keep your eyes peeled and keep checking you perimetre, I want nothing sneaking up on us, stay close to one another." I ordered before we moved down towards the corridors. It was kind of fun really, like an egg hunt only a hell of a lot more dangerous. The dark had never bothered me, the dark mixed with the thunderstorms was scary as crap yes but not the dark on it's own.

Flashlights infront of us swept our surroundings thoroughly, there was only one more corridor to check as we walked down it cautiously, Sheppard radioed me for the scheduled check in.  
"How's everything your end lieutenant?" he asked voice crisp and tense, I sighed a little,  
"Nothing sir, anyone else seen hide or hair of him?" I asked, I didn't hear Sheppard's reply, because right then something ran out infront of our flashlights and made us all stop quickly. "Shh for a second." I said quickly, listening I could hear footsteps, running once, using a few quick hand signals we took off in a formation, I quickly left Larson and Brady behind, slightly infront, "Koracen!" I called, rounding the corner I saw the man there, he was dressed in clothing unlike anything I'd ever seen, his movements were slow, calculated, "Sheppard we got him." I said, raising my gun and taking aim, waiting for the order. There was a pause over the radio before Sheppard asked,  
"Where are you?" Larson gave him an exact position as we stood in a line,Koracen just looked at us through emotionless blue eyes, that only seemed more glittery thanks to the light of the flashlights. "Okay, we're on our way, if you get the shot take it lieutenant." Sheppard ordered grimly. I didn't answer, just signed off. Koracen must of heard the order, because he turned on his heel and fled, my reaction was quicker than he anticipated, I was already firing as I gave the order to take the shot, our gunfire echoed through the hall but I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach, Sheppard was right when he said they took a lot of bullets to take down. I was reloading when Brady called it,  
"He's on the move!"  
"Follow, we aren't loosing him now!" I ordered feeling myself slip easily into the other me.

The hardcore military office that didn't stop, even if she had a bullet in her leg three broken ribs blood pouring form practicly every pore in her body and two of her teammates, people under her command at the time lay dead on the floor rither side of her. Pushing myself to go faster I lifted my gun and fired as I ran, Brady and Larson copied my movement, flanking me until Koracen knew we had him cornered and turned. We stopped abruptly so as not to run into him and fired once more, every bullet we had. "Aim for the head!" I yelled mercilessly glaring at Koracen now. I took the time to reload when I heard Brady's yell,  
"Oh shit he's doubling back, he's doubling back!" Lifting my head I quickly finished reloading and fired again,  
"Fall back, back down the corridor go go go!" I made sure they were clear as I half jogged backwards to make sure they were covered, when I heard their cover fire, my heart racing and adrenaline running round my body I turned and sprinted for the cover of the corner wall. Not fast enough though, a startled cry escaped my lips as a hard body smacked into mine and tackled me to the floor. Rolling quickly to the left I tried to lift my gun but I couldn't do it in time, Koracen knocked the gun from my hand and it went flying, next though, his fist came flying at my face, he was faster and stronger and wasn't going to tire anytime soon. I need to get up off of the floor. Swinging my legs round I swept his from under him and jackknifed to my feet, Brady and Larson weren't daring to fire anymore incase they hit me but I could see they looked pale, they didn't expect me to live through this. I felt a foot hit my back hard, knocking the wind out of me and knocking me to the floor, I went down hard gasping for air as my heart leapt into my throat.

This could be it, gritting my teeth I tried to push myself up but Koracen's fist struck my head hard and sent me toppling back down to the floor, where my head smacked off...whatever the floor was made of. I was seeing stars by this point, blood dripping from my nose as my body was rolled roughly by a boot. Koracen lifted me up by the collar of my shirt and looked at me with cold eyes,  
"You would kill me with no second thought and no regrets." he said it callously, breathing hard I glared defiantly up at him,  
"Actually, yes I would." I gasped out, his fist came down hard on my head, once, twice. God he was crushing my skull I thought as the blackness swarmed the edges of my vision. But i wasn't going down yet, my body was ready to give up but Koracen was heading for Brady and Larson next. Rolling to my front I crawled slowly across the corridor, praying I'd make it in time. My fingers closed around the cold metal handle of the gun and I dragged myself to my knees, using the wall to steady myself as a severe dizzy spell struck, I focused my aim on the back of his head, my finger poised over the trigger as Sheppard and his team rounded the corner, "Hey asshole." I called, hating how shaky my voice sounded. Koracen turned and looked at me with a stoic face. "I told you I would." I said, gritting my teeth I pulled the trigger, and sent a bullet right through his nanite head, he sprayed silver nanites behind him and crumpled to the floor, not destroyed but severely disabled. I could barely see straight as Sheppard, Brady and Larson ran forward, but it was too late. My face and hair wet with blood I pitched forward and landed in blisfully painless darkness.

John's Point Of View:

She collapsed to the floor right infront of us after putting a bullet through the back of Koracen's head. I was one of the first at her side if you didn't count Brady and Larson who were watching her worriedly, her face was bloody,her cheek already swelling. She was going to have one hell of a black eye after this was over and she wasn't concious anymore. Larson had already dropped to his knees and was feeling for a pulse as me and Brady knelt beside him,behind me I could hear Teyla giving orders and people shifting Koracen out of the corridor with some of the nanites that had blown from his skull.  
"It's a weak pulse sir she needs the infirmary now." Larson said his brow creasing gently. I nodded once and pushed my arms under her legs and back, pulling her up to my chest I left Larson and Brady to clean up the gun and the bullets as I walked swiftly back down the corridor. Lorne's team were just retreating but I quickly over took them and carried on to the infirmary, Tegan was completely limp in my arms with her right arm hanging in mid-air as I carried her. Her head was lolling on my shoulder and some blood was beginning to seep through onto my vest, a knot of worry was forming in my stomach, twisting and tightening with every step as her face paled. She wasn't too warm either and I was worried we were loosing her, it wouldn't be the first case I'd heard of where someone had been beaten to death, it was remarkable she had managed to hold on so long in order to shoot Koracen.

Walking in to the infirmary I called for Keller,  
"Doc! Doc I need your help here! It's James she had the crap beat out of her by that replicatior, her pulse is weak." I said quickly, Keller's eyes widened after seeing the state she was in before directing me to a bed and calling for one of the nurses to help her before she started rushing around and snapping rubber gloves on as she called out orders. Things like set up a drip, fifty miligrams of so and so, prepare for a blood transfusion, hang on a blood transfusion? Deciding to wait until after she'd saved the young lieutenants life I stood in the background waiting impatiently and trying not get in the way. What was so intriguing about this woman? Why did I feel like I needed to know her, everything about her and the secrests she was hiding? She said that she was hiding in Pegasus, she hadn't planned on staying at first, she said someone was going to try and murder her, who? Why? Could we help? Fifteen minutes passed and I shifted my weight so it was more comfortable for me to stand. Tegan was now hooked up to an IV drip, a blood transfusion piping the red liquid through a tube into her right arm, her face and neck was clean of blood now at least and her usual tan complexion was ashen and pale making her dark brows stand out on her face. Keller came over to stand by me and gestured to the bedside,  
"She won't break if you move closer you know." she said souding slightly amused. Feeling a little stupid I did step closer, frowning down at the pale woman infront of me that had captured my attention. Whether that was a good or bad thing I didn't really know however I felt a part of me was drawn to her, needed to know her and be around her. She was closed off and didn't like revealing herself to the world but I wanted to be the one who could open her up, that she could trust with everything until my insatiable thirst for knowledge was quenched.

God I sounded pathetic didn't I? "Well I patched her up as best I could but that was one hell of a beating she took. She's going to have a black eye that's for sure and her cheek bones fractured,she's lucky her nose isn't broken but she lost a lot of blood, hence the transfusion, she'll be back on duty in maybe two days time but until then she's going to need a lot of rest." Keller said shaking her head slightly. The lights came on then and a team of nurses began moving around the torches that had been lighting the place up. My earpiece crackled and Teyla's voice came through.  
"Colonel Sheppard, Elizabeth has disabled Koracen for us. We are meeting in Mr Woolsey's office now to discuss how to proceed, can you join us?" Can, she asked. Can you join us rather than we'll be waiting for you to join us. She knew I was in the infirmary with Tegan and she knew I wouldn't leave until I knew she was going to make a full recovery, Tegan was a part of our team now and it was just one of the things I did to try and look after them. Tapping my earpiece I replied,  
"Okay I'm on my way now."  
"Will Tegan be okay?" Teyla replied imedietly, I nodded before realising she couldn't see.  
"Yeah, doc says she'll make a full recovery." I assured her. Teyla said something that sounded like good and signed off as I took one last look at Tegan and left, promising myself I'd stay away from a woman who made me far to curious for my own good. Somehow, I really thought that was a pie crust promise.

Tegan's Point of View:  
The blackness was comforting, like I was enevloped in a giant cushion pressing in on me from all sides and clinging to me to keep me down. Above me, was the surface, I was trapped in a cushion of darkness and it wouldn't let me pull my way to the top. Maybe it'd be better, I thought, to give up. To just stay in this comfotable blackness forever, no health problems or sleepless nights, no voices telling me what to do or that I was yet again in danger, no one to distract me or taunt me or try to make me open up to them. No one but me and I would never have to wake up again. But Rodney...My heart twisted painfully, I couldn't leave Rodney behind, he knew everything from the murder to the life threatening circumtances right now, Holden wouldn't of come back for me if I was dead though...Teyla's face flashed through my mind next, we'd been getting closer, sparring sometimes and I was beginning to trust her, her and Sheppard too. John Sheppard, with his touseled hair and all seeing hazel eyes. How could I leave him behind? I had trusted him with things only Rodney knew, he made it so easy to open up to him and yet I barely knew him. It was disturbing how I could trust a strange so easily, yet something about him drew me to him, maybe it was the quick wit he possessed or the way that he promised confidentiality if you needed to confide in him. He was a man with secrets himself that was clear, he wasn't open about his personal life and hated talking about emotions, the one thing we had in common. How could I leave behind the people I was beginning to call friend? The only real friends I'd ever really had if I was being brutally honest. The blackness seemed to loosen around me, allowing me to float a little higher toward the surface. I was so close, almost back in the land of the living, to my painfully annoying existence, though it was admittedly becoming more bearable with my new friends about.

I made the decision right then, I was going to let them in, I was going to trust Teyla, Ronon and Sheppard, I was going to make friends, proper friends and live a more open life. Emotions were still an icky subject but I was going to try and make proper friends. The blackness just completely let me go then, letting me rise to the surface until I regained my senses. My nose was burned by the smell of antiseptic and latex. I could taste it on my tounge and it was bitter in my dry mouth as I tried to swallow. A gentle finger pried back my eyelid and a blinding light entered my iris's, I flinched twisting my head to get away from it and groaned, blinking to get the little spots out of my left eye.  
"Ah, there she is, welcome back lieutenant how are you feeling?" asked a familiar kind feminine voice. Blinking a little I looked up to see Doctor Keller smiling down at me as she checked me over, I opened my mouth to say something but my voice came out scratchy and croaky.  
"A..chey...ugh." Keller smiled a little helping me sit up and passing me an open bottle of water. My hand was shaky but I took it and gulped the cool liquid down. God my face hurt, it felt swollen to, actually my right eye was swollen so I was squinting through it and my cheek was throbbing. "God I feel...terrible." I whispered shielding my eyes from the light. Keller laughed a little,  
"You took the beating from hell, you're going to feel terrible for a while." she replied smiling slightly. That was when I noticed that Rodney, Ronon, Sheppard and Teyla were all in the room watching me, Rodney looked relieved as did Sheppard. Teyla and Ronon were talking quietly to one another in the corner but when she saw me she smiled graciously and they stepped over, crowding around the bed.

"Well, as far as I can see you're fine for now, we'll keep you overnight just so you regain your strength and release you tomorrow, I'll leave you to it and order some lunch, sound good?" she asked, I nodded a little,  
"Thank you doctor Keller...er..." she raised an eyebrow at my pause and I blushed a little. "Can I have the strawberry jelly please?" I asked sheepishly. She frowned a little,  
"You want jam?" she asked, I laughed a little and winced my hand gently cupping my cheek,  
"Sorry, erm...jello, not jelly." I reiterated, with a smile she nodded and when I turned around Sheppard and Rodney were smirking. Ronon and Teyla looked a little confused,  
"What is the difference between the jello in the mess hall and this jelly you want?" Teyla asked curiously, Sheppard chuckled,  
"Just the way the brits say it Teyla. See the majority of us here are American so we call it jello however if your British you call it jelly." he said gesturing to me on the word British. I rolled my eyes a little,  
"Yes yes all very well and good but at least I don't go around wearing cowboy boots all the time." I replied waspishly but their was a teasing inflection in my voice that Sheppard picked up on apparently because he shot me a sexy smirk.  
"Yeah well least my teeth are straight." he shot back, I raised a brow,  
"Oh so you want to play the stereotype game hmm? In that case then least I don't eat burgers everyday while firing shotguns." I retorted, his smirk widened,  
"Oh yeah? Least our women ain't easy." he countered, I gasped pulling my hand over my heart with fake hurt.

"Says the man who probably wanted to move to Los Angeles and become a famous actor when he was twelve." I replied with a smile, grinning caused too much pain, Sheppard opened his mouth to say something but shook his head,  
"You win I can't think of anymore." he muttered crossing his arms over his chest and looking dissappointed, scuffing his boot off the floor like a child. That's when a sudden thought struck me,  
"What happened to Koracen?" I asked, Rodney cleared his throat,  
"Elizabeth made a plan with us, we sent them through a space gate and froze them somewhere remote enough that they'll never be reactivated again. All of them are gone." he said watching as Keller bought my lunch over and put it on my lap. I quickly thanked her and watched as she gave Rodney a pot of blue jelly (hey my roots will always be British what can I say) with a shared glance and smile that meant only one thing. "Oh yeah and Elizabeth got him back for you, she deactivated his nanites." he added shovelling the jelly into his mouth. I nodded a little a thoughtful frown on my face.  
"Good to see your okay Tiny, I gotta go meet some marines for sparring lessons." Ronon grunted lifting his hand in a wave and leaving.  
"Try not to break too many, Keller won't thank you!" Sheppard called after him as Teyla bowed her head,  
"And I must see to Torren, my free hour is almost up." she said, I nodded sadly,  
"Okay, thank you for coming." I said with a smile as she turned and left leaving me with Sheppard and Rodney.  
"You pair are so flirting." Rodney snorted swallowing more jello down.

The statement made me choke on my sandwhich and eyes watering I had to swallow a lot of water down and have Sheppard hit my back hard.  
"We are not!" me and Sheppard protested in unison, even if I had to choke the words out. Giving him a nod of appreciation me and Sheppard glared defiantly at the scentist who smirked,  
"Look at you both, you could be twins." he teased,  
"Rodney." Sheppard growled.  
"How about you and Keller?" I shot back. Rodney's smile faltered and he swallowed, not meeting my eyes as he replied,  
"Nothing there, we're just friends." Sheppard smirked a little as I giggled,  
"Oh yes so spontaneously getting you your favourite colour jelly and that smile when she gave it to you was nothing. Not to mention the glance you shared and the oh so romantic touch of her hand on yours as she pulled away. Right, nothing." Sheppard chuckled,  
"You are cruel." he said looking at me with a grin, I smiled and shrugged a shoulder self depreciatingly,  
"I prefer the term observant." I replied modestly as I took another bite of my sandwhich, Rodney scowled at me,  
"Oh yeah well the glances you two keep sneaking at each other, how'd you explain that?" he came back smugly with a triumphant grin I blinked at him unable to come up with anything, but thankfully Sheppard stepped in,  
"She just ahd the crap beat out of her by a replicator, I keep looking at her to make sure she doesn't start deteriorating." he replied cooly, Rodney raised a brow, triumphant smirk growing bigger.

"Jennifer said she's going to be fine." he countered, Sheppard shrugged,  
"She's a member of my team, I look out for my team. And you just called the doc Jennifer." he pointed out.  
"It's her name." Rodney shot back,  
"But we all use doc or Keller you're on first name basis." Sheppard retaliated with a gleam in his eye that was almost daring Rodney to challenge him, Rodney scowled at the ground,  
"Yeah well captain Kirk always falls for the beautiful women." he muttered under his breathe, I smiled a little,  
"Oh Rodney that's true friendship right there, I look like shit and you're telling me I'm beautiful." I said teasingly, he smirked,  
"I was talking about Jennifer." he replied tauntingly, Sheppard rolled his eyes,  
"So you admit you think the doc's beautiful? Thought so, and no offense but James here ain't really my type." he replied casually. Ouch, okay I had to admit that stung a little, I had no clue why because I knew there was no way in hell he'd ever be interested in me. Unless I wanted him to be interested in me? Was that the case?

I didn't know but I swallowed the unexpected hurt that run through me and didn't let it show on my face as Rodney huffed and left with a quick I'll check on you later, leaving me alone with Sheppard who looked at me and nodded a little, "Good to see you're gonna be okay Tegan, I gotta go do some paperwork so I'll see you later." he said lifting a hand in farewell and walking to the door with that authoritive stride only he could manage. He paused at the door, his hand on the frame and looked back over his shoulder with a frown drawing together his dark brows. "He's right you know, you don't look that bad all things considered..." he trailed off before dissappearing from sight. Didn't look that bad? Was that a compliment? Settling back into my pillows I finished my lunch with a small smile on my face. If I didn't look that bad by Sheppard's standards after I'd been severely beaten, then I must of been doing something right with myself over the years. Huh, compliments from Sheppard, I could get used to that I thought.I could really get used to that.


	8. Do Your Remember This?

John's Point Of View:

Keller had released Tegan just three days after Koracen had put her in the infirmary. I'd asked Woolsey to put the team on light duty for a week after to give her some time to get back on her feet but she was suprisingly quick to bounce back after the beating from hell, by the end of the week she was training hard again and back in shape like nothing had ever happened, so Woolsey quickly put us back to normal duty again. It was now a full two weeks since anything bad had happened on Atlantis (which had to be a record) and I was in the mess hall grabbing lunch with Ronon. The mess hall seemed to be a favourite meeting place for our team, when there was nowhere to go, we went here. Teyla and kanaan often sat with us with little Torren, man that little guy was cute and he was best friends with Tegan. She'd grown more comfortable around him and now they were thick as thieves, which means that not only had she taught him how to irritate me but she laughed and didn't bother to stop him when he did it. Though how she knew that having a little finger poking my cheek repeatedly would irritate me was beyond me.

Ronon was just fnished scarfing down his sandwhich when the city wide speakers sprung to life,  
"Would colonel Sheppard and his team please report to the armoury." Ah good old Chuck, you could always count on him to keep you updated. Ronon huffed looking at his uneaten jello with irritation flaring in his eyes and making me chuckle,  
"Easy Chewie you can bring it with you." I promised him as I stood up, my chair making that horrible metallic screech as it scraped back across the floor. When we got to the armoury we found Teyla and Tegan were already there, speaking quietly to one another with Tegan making hand gestures as they laughed, Rodney stood off to the side looking miffed and I assumed it was about him. Woolsey walked in a few seconds after me and Ronon did and looked at each of us in turn.  
"Thank you all for coming, Doctor Nichols and his team were exploring M44-5YN and they're now an hour and fifteen minutes late and aren't responding to radio calls. I'd like you to go and see what's wrong and bring our people home." Woolsey ordered us with his face set in it's usual permenant grimace. Wihtin minutes we had geared up and stepped through the the landscape was a little depressing.

The land was barren, it was like a dusty desert stretching pretty far, the gate itself was in a bowl with mountains surrounding sky was dark and I realised that here it was nighttime and the sky was speckled with stars. Frowning slightly I watched as something kicked up the dust on the horizon.  
"I thought there was a village here?" Rodney asked sounding suprised. Squinting my eyes I tried to make out what that thing was rolling towards us. Rodney was rambling again and I shushed him quickly, kneeling dow and pressing a palm to the floor I could feel vibrations coming from the ground and my frown deepened, was this an earthquakStanding up straight again I frowned, whatever that thing was on the horizon was coming fast towards us, now I could hear a faint rumbling and an uneasy feeling settled int he pit of my stomach.  
"Sheppard that's water!" Tegan sounded anxious as I stared wide eyed at the moving thing. The vibrations under my feet were getting stronger, the rumbling sound was growing louder and turning into more of a crashing noise, the whole bowl of barren land we were standing in was filling up with it and I watched as the thing tossed and turned, it was then that I noticed the spray kicking up from it and realised that Tegan was right.  
"Stay close to the gate I'm dialling home." I ordered running to the DHD as my heart began to pick up it's pace.

The huge body of water was closing in on us fast and before I could reach the DHD it had knocked me to the floor, sweeping my legs from under me and soaking me from head to toe as I toplled forward. Gripping the DHD tightly I punched in our address as quick as my hands would let me but the force of the water against my legs was making it hard to stand. There was a loud yell as my team cried out and I saw them desperately clinging to the edge of the gate and holding onto each other. The wormhole spat out and then settled into the puddle, "Don't send the IDC!" I hollered spluttering and spitting out water, it was salty. This was sea water. The water was rising fast, it had flooded in and obscured the floor from view and was up to my waist now. The DHD was slick and wet and I was struggling to hold on, the current was moving to fast, my hair was dripping, my clothes were sticking to me and my boots were heavy and completely full of the salty sea water. My heart was racing in my chest, the adrenaline surging around my body as my body jolted to the left when the water hit me again. The waves crashed over me and sucked me under, my feet had long since left the floor and I couldn't hold on any longer. I was flung sideways and pulled under, managing to take a ragged breathe in just before, the current was strong and flipped me head over heels, smacking me into something air left me in a rush of bubbles and my eyes stung as they shot up and the salty water invaded them. The throb in my back was killing me, the water was pressing against my body and chest my energy was fading fast but I had to get to the surface, I had to make sure my team got out of here.

My hands hit the solid thing behind me and I realised it was the gate, looking up I could see the surface shimmering above me and pushed myself now my lungs were burning with the need for oxygen as I inched my way up the gate. Were my team okay? The thought that they weren't, that they might not have made it cut through me like a knife and I threw myself heartily into my task. I was so close to the top, so close but I wasn't sure how much longer I could carry on, black dots were beginning to cloud my vision and I was starting to sink again, I couldn't keep myself up, this was it. I was going to die. I was going to die and my team... I couldn't think about that. Then suddenly I was rising again, my body felt weightless like air was lifting my limbs as I floated to the surface. No, no I wasn't floating I was moving to fast for that. I broke the surface and took in a desperate gasp for air, my lungs were on fire and each breathe was agony like swallowing thorns but I forced myelf to drag air into my lungs, coughing and spluttering. My ears were ringing as my vision slowly cleared,  
"Sheppard! Sheppard! John! Can you hear me! John!" someone was desperately calling my name. God my eyes were stinging, my body was so tired and I could feel it being dragged roughly up the gate. Then it was resting against something soft and wet as I zoned in and out of it for a while. Trying to steady my breathing I coughed, leaning heavily to the side while my stomach churned. Sombody held me tightly so I didn't fall as I heaved up my lunch, the acid burned my throat but at least it got rid of the salt water in my stomach.

"Easy Sheppard, easy I got you." Groaning I lifted my head to see Tegan looking over me, her eyes were soft, concerned. She was the one holding me up, her hair was plastered to her face and her lips were blue, I could feel her shivering a little, "Rodney tell them we need a medical team when we get back." she said without moving her eyes from me,her teeth were chattering but she still managed to smile slightly as she pushed some of my own sodden hair from my head, "Loving the wet look." she quipped gently pushing me into a sitting position. Rolling my eyes slightly I murmered a quick thank you and straddled the top of the gate. There was water all around us, it had filled the bowl, the sky was dark above us and the gate was completely covered water, except for the top which was where we were sitting. We were all okay it appeared, even if we were all shivering and Rodney was clasping his hands and blowing on them in an attempt to warm up. Teyla and Ronon were watching me worriedly, waiting to see what I would do next. Touching my hand to my earpiece I swallowed, god the acid in ym throat still tasted horrible.  
"Atlantis this is colonel Sheppard. Do not take down the shield, repeat do not take down the shield. There is water flooding the gate right up to the top, if you open that shield you'll flood Atlantis."my voice was raspy but they understood at least.

Woolsey sighed slightly but replied within seconds,  
"We'll wait the thirty eight minutes for the gate to shut down and then I'll send a jumper to pick you up." Nodding slightly I cut my ear piece off and heard Rodney groan. Sighing I realised we were in for his usual we're all going to die rant.  
"I bet Doctor Nichols's teams dead. This planet, it's suffering form the effects of global warming, all the low lying lands flooded." he informed us shivering violently. We were all going to get hypothermia that much was certain. Speaking of shivering, Tegan almost fell off of the gate she shivered so hard. Wrapping my arm securely around her shoulders I pulled her close, feeling a jolt of electricity run through my side.  
"Lovely Rodney, everyone huddle up, this is gonna get cold, Tegan get infront of me." I ordered. Ronon and Teyla moved to do as I said and slowly Tegan did to, looking back at me curiously. Trying my best to remain nochalant I pulled her back between my legs so she was against my chest.  
"I really don't think that-" she started but I cut her off.  
"No, we both need the body warmth now's not the time to be modest lieutenant." Honestly, I'd been hoping calling her lieutenant instead of by her name would make it less awkward. It really didn't.

It kept us warm at least as we sat for thirty-eight minutes in the freezing cold ontop of the gate. The water had receded slightly but not by much. When the jumper inally came through Keller was waiting in the back with the rest of Lorne's team with thermal blankets. Rodney practically collapsed into his and Tegan rolled her eyes,  
"R-Rodney y-y-your and i-idiot." she stammered out shaking her head and drawing her own blanket closer around her. Rodney rolled his eyes slightly anTegan dropped her head onto his shoulder looking exhausted as I settled down across from them, watching as Coughlin pulled up Teyla who was wrapped in a cocoon of thermal blanket by Keller the minute she was on board. Tegan let out a gasp and I looked backat her immediately. "Rodney y-your burning u-up!" she exclaimed her teeth still chattering and breaking up the 's head whipped around and she was quickly checking him over as they hauled Ronon in too. Closing up the back of the jumper Lorne took us higher, beginning to fly in a wide arc. Keller looked utterly shocked as she looked up and called to Lorne,  
"Get us back as soon as you can he needs the infirmary stat." Tegan was looking utterly drained, sniffing slightly she wiped a droplet of water from her nose that had dropped from her hair.

* * *

**Authors Note:**

Hello readers :). Thank you for reading this far for one, and I just wanted to give you a heads up, the next chapter is more of a bonding thing between John and Tegan with a lot of flashbacks about her past in but it will set up the chapters to come, please don't be afraid to tell me what you think, the next chapter should be up soon!


	9. This Is Who I Am

Tegan's Point Of View:

Breathing was difficult, especially when your chest was constricted, your heart beaing squeezed like it's in a vice because of the pain you feel. Now I'm not one to cry, I pride myself on staying strong and the fact I haven't cried since I was fourteen. Not since they're death. A hiccup caught in my throat, the tears were hot behindmy eyes but I refused to let them spill, I would not , my Rodney, he was leaving me. As stupid as it sounds, I felt like he'd failed me, he's broken a promise. It wasn't his fault and that made the guilt churn in my stomach like a writhing snake. Ater seeing Jeannie, or as I called her Jean, go in to see Rodney I had had to leave, because the weight of grief on my chest was threatening to crush me and I didn't want anyone to see as I fell apart, because I was too stubbornly proud for that. Which is why I was currently hurrying through the corridors, ignoring the strange looks I was getting as I barrelled through the crowds to my room where I locked my door and threw myself face down on my bed. Then, I let go of the tihgt hold I had on my emotions, and like a complete baby I burst into tears. Loud sobs broke free sounding strangled in my throat, my body shook uncontrollably, my eyes were pouring out a bucket loud of tears by the second and the pain I felt wouldn't go away. It felt like it was taunting me, the more I cried the more it hurt. The more it hurt, the more it sunk in that I really was loosing Rodney.

_I was sixteen and sitting on a parkbench somewhere in Canada. My eyes were sore but I couldn't stop crying, my heart hurt too bad and I felt myself slipping back into an old shell. It was cold today, the thin black cardigan I wore over my black dress did little to keep me warm, the goosebumps had risen on my arms so high they looked like mountains to me. Autumn had come, the leaves were orange, brown and yellow. Some had fallen off of the trees in the park and onto the grass, to make a carpet but some still clung to the trees. Sobbing quietly into my shaky hands I heard the crunching of leaves and the bench creaked as someone sat beside me. Looking up, I saw a gangly boy, with a mop of brown hair on his head and braces on his teeth that were almost ready to come off. His blue eyes were full of sorrow and sympathy, he had been at the funeral, standing beside me in his black suit and tie. Seventeen year old Rodney Mckay shrugged out of his suit jacket and placed it around my shoulders, pulling me into his side where he promptly wrapped an arm around my shoulders. My head dropped onto his shoulders and I cried in the one place I felt safe now, the one place I had left in a huge lonely world.  
"It's okay Tea...It's okay." he whispered. Shaking my head I cried,  
"It's not! It's not! T-they want to p-put me in a f-foster home R-Rodney!"  
"No they're not, my mom won't let them... I'm not gonna leave you Tegan, I'm going to be by your side I promise. I swear to you Tegan I'll always be here if you need me." he vowed quietly. Looking up at him I saw the intense sincerity in his eyes. This was the boy that had befriended me when nobody else had wanted to, my first friend after moving to Canada, the boy who had tutored me through my exams, and the only friend I had that had come with me today, to my grandmother's funeral. Rodney was the boy who was promising never to leave, Rodney was the person I trusted with my life._

"Tegan." Whipping my head around I wiped furiously at my eyes, not looking at whoever was in my room.  
"Don't you ever knock!" I yelled angrily, well, tried too. My voice came out shaky and weak, barely more than a whisper. My bed sank as someone sat beside me and I buried my head in my arms to try and avoid whoever it was.  
"I did,you just didn't answer and I could hear your crying so don't pretend your not. I used my emergency override to let myself in." the voice was calm, and I knew exactly who it was thanks to the intoxicating, tangy scent of their aftershave, that and they naturally smelled like apple as always.  
"Go away Sheppard." my voice was muffled by the pillow but I was sure he had heard it. I was also sure he'd shook his head no because he hadn't moved from beside my bed.  
"Not until you let me in. You need to talk to someone Tegan your killing yourself here." he said softly. He was right, I knew it, but I was too stubborn to agree and give in. Pushing myself up into a sitting position I curled my knees up to my chest and looked at a fixed point in the wall across the room from him. His touseled black hair was shimmering in the light, his face was a little paler than usual and I knew that the whole of the team was being affected by this and not just me. God I should be helping them yet here I am, selfishly sitting here like a wimp and crying over something I can't change. That snake of guilt writhed again in my gut.

We sat in silence for a while before Sheppard finally lost his cool. Standing suddenly he started to pace infront of me running a hand through his hair and making it stick up in all directions, his eyes were frustrated. Turning he looked at me accusingly, arms crossed over his chest as I rose to my feet and stubbornly stood infornt of him, wiping my eyes furiously to try and stem my tears."Tegan you need to talk to me, I can't help if I don't know." his voice was soft, but demanding. Demanding something I didn't want to give him, it was too personal. Biting my lip I looked away, turning my body half away from him so he couldn't see the way my hands were trembling.  
"I can't tell you." I whispered.  
"Why." he shot back. Good question Sheppard, I thought sarcastically. The other part of my brain was scolding me though, he was trying to help, John Sheppard was trying to be a caring friend. _**You promised him.**_a sneering little voice in the back of my head said, _**You promised Rodney you'd try and make friends, you promised yourself you would too, starting with John and his team, not living up to that promise very well are you?**_God I really was a failure wasn't I? So selfish... "Why Tegan?" John demanded again but his voice was still soft, not pushing me too far.  
"Because it's..it's too...it's not me..." my voice was shaky, my stubborn resolve wavering, he was breaking through my walls and I'd only known him what? A month, two months? Swallowing I tried to block off my emotions, stop myself crying so I could face the problems lieing infront of me. But it didn't work, they just kept coming and Sheppard's hand gripping my arm lightly and spinning me to face him didn't help, neither did his soft brown eyes that looked so concerned.

Dammit why did he have to look so damn attractive!  
"You're trying to stay strong for everyone else but you're forgetting that you need a moment of weakness too. You can't be strong all of the time. Especially not at a time like this with the problems we're facing, but you need to remember that we're a team Tegan, you me, Teyla Ronon and Rodney, you're not going through this alone, we look after each other, let me look after you. Tell me how to help." he coaxed gently. Pain flared in my chest and I shook my head viciously yanking my arm away and glaring up at him through watery eyes. Why did my heart have to hurt so bad? I was acting like an emotional teenager!  
"You can't help! No one can help because they can't come back! They're dead okay! They're dead and not here when I need them and I should be dead too!" I was almost screaming at him but his expression never wavered. His face remained calm, his eyes still concerned and as I dropped to the floor, unable to stand any longer he dropped with me. Collapsing sideways into more hysterical sobs my head hit his chest. Sheppard stiffened but slowly wrapped an arm around my shoulders and held me to him.  
"Who's dead? I'm here Tegan, talk to me." he muttered. Sniffling slightly took a few deep calming breathes, not looking up I just let myself lean against him, utterly exhausted while I recounted everything that had happened that night in vivid detail.

_"Would you stop fussing Tegan, you look beautiful baby girl." my mom kissed my temple and put her hands on my shoulders, squeezing gently. I sighed and looked at the reflection of a girl that really wasn't me. The dark blue dress hugged her figure yet flowed out from her hips, the silky material reflected the light and glittered when I moved and the fabric swished, my face was done in a light coat of make up making my grey eyes pop out and my hair was twisted into an elegant bun. My mom looked pretty similar, only her dress was a floor length curve hugging black one, her light brown hair was pinned up on her head in a half bun half ponytail looking style. Her face was made up too and she looked a lot more elegant than me. Pulling something out of the drawer, she pulled it around my neck, a gold chain with a white gold pendant. It must of cost a lot because on the back there was an engraving, **All our love always.** "Come on Tea, I know you're not one fo rfancy charity gala's and balls but it has to be done, tomorrow morning we're heading back to England. When you get older you'll realise that your farther needed all of these parties to be a better buisness man and sometimes...buisness has to come first." she said firmly but her tone was still gently as she walked to the door of the fancy five star hotel room. "I expect to see you down there in five minutes...at least put the blue ones on so they match your dress." she said with a smile and I laughed lightly. She knew exactly what I was going to do. By the time I stepped out, the make up was off of my face, my hair was in it's usual sleek ponytail and the silver heels I'd been wearing were lieing in the corner, instead I had my converse on my feet. _

_Walking down the stairs I entered the ballroom we'd booked out for this event. My dad was...a rather important man. He was the ambassador for England, I didn't know what he was ambassador for because it was highly classified (_I later found out it was the stargate programme) _but that meant he had to come to these stupid politician parties. He'd missed my birthday last month because of it. The ball room was huge. A chandelier hung from the ceiling, a small violin group were playing quietly in the corner to the left of the big mahogony doors. The room had tables down the left and right sides holding a buffet with every kind of food imaginable and the floor was a prsitine red carpet. Men were dressed in suits, women in there expensive dresses looked at me with disgust as I passed but I ignored there looks. Security was posted all over the place but one guard in particular, one who went with me and my mom pratically everywhere that I called Unlcle Barry. I watched my mom turn and see me, she gave a small motion with her hand which meant mingle and I sighed. The room was uncomfortably warm and I could remember the distinct smell of sweat coming from the many different bodies in the room. Elbowing my way through the crowd I made my way to the edge of the room and stood anti-socially in the corner for a while, Uncle Barry stood beside me, twice my size and twice as burly. We had a good laugh really, we played rock paper scissors, told a few jokes. He wasn't a guard but a friend to me, being shipped around the world so my dad could make good press got pretty boring but Uncle Barry came with me and made it all bearable with funny faces behind boring people's backs and rude finger gestures to people who offended me. Suddenly, a gun shot shattered the peaceful atmosphere and everyone dropped to the floor. _

_My back was against the wall and I was crouching down but I could see the body on the floor from here. In a black tuxedo and red bow tie, there was already a pool of bright red blood staining the carpet around him, he was spread eagled, arms and legs twisted at strange angles from the fall to the ground. Half of his face had been blown off by the shot, blood covered most of his neck and chest, but his hair had been brown and in a neat combover. The only side of his face remaining, the right side, was mangled in a sort of permenant grimace, and his blue eyes stared out glassily, almost directly at me. The scream ripped from y throat and I shot to my feet, Barry mimicking the movement and holding me back as I struggled to reach my farthers body. My mother heardmy scream and ran in calling ym name form the balcony. The gun man popped up suddeny, aiming a glock at her and firing once, the crimson red blood dribbled down between her eyes, blossoming on her forehead like a flower as she sunk to the ground gracefully, because my mother was all about heirs and graces. No pain had ever come quite close to it as the gunman dropped his glock on the floor and looked me in the eyes. He hadn't got on a mask, but he wore contacts that turned his eyes a chilling, bright bloody red colour. His hair was platinum blonde and tied back in a ponytail, he was pale, looked like a vampire to me.  
"Remember little girl, daddy brought this on himself." he said before bolting for the balcony and dissappearing from my life for a good few years. Just like that, Tegan James the ambassador's little girl became Tegan James, the ambassadors little orphan. _

The tears wouldn't come anymore, I'd told this story too many times to cry over it. Instead, my heart froze over, looking Sheppard dead in the eye I could see the shock he was trying to conceal as I pulled away from him and curled my knees up into my chest, leaning my back against my bed.  
"How old were you?" he asked gently.  
"14." my reply was blunt, emotionless. "That unfortunate incident...that was how I met Rodney actually. With no other next of kin in England they sent me to Canada to live with my grandmother." another shudder passed through me and Sheppard frowned,  
"This doesn't have a happy ending does it?" he asked almost gravely. Laughing bitterly I shook my head,  
"Still working on that one." I admitted sarcastically.  
"So how'd you have the misfortune to meet Rodney?" he asked curiously. Smiling slightly I giggled,  
"He was being beat up behind the school cafeteria, I was kind of the wild child by then. My parents death had sent me a little...haywire. My grades dropped drastically, I became violent, impulsive, my grandmother didn't know what to do with me. I hate bullies, always have always will. So when I saw them beating him up like that...I lost it and beat the crap out of them, would of got expelled if Rodney hadn't defended me. I tried to push him away like I do with everyone but he was stubborn, very determined, he tutored me for exams, helped me pass them with adaquet grads at least but we were already best friends by the time that came around." I explained. Hesitating I inhaled his apple scent deeply, dare I tell him, I wondered. Looking into his eyes I saw they offered me confidentiality, he wasn't going to tell anyone. Taking a deep breathe I continued quickly, "I was in Canada for a year, was fifteen when my grandmother died suddenly, a heartattack in the night. My grandpa had died when I was six so there was no other family for me to go too. Rodney...when I said he was like my brother he literally was Sheppard. His family adopted me when they threatened to put me in foster care and I became Tegan Mckay legally for three years before I left back to my real home in England, joined the military ended up here." I added quickly. Flinching slightly at the obvious lie in that. That wasn't all but he'd had enough from me for one day.

Sheppard looked stunned into silence. But understanding flickered in his eyes. He understood, understood why I was so attached to Rodney, why I couldn't let him leave me now. Sheppard's hand came up and patted my shoulder slightly awkwardly, clearly he wasn't used to being in such a deep conversation with a woman and had no clue how to support one. Realising my face was tight wit tears I tried to massaged my cheeks back into moving properly.  
"Damn that's...that's horrible...I'm sorry you had to go through that." he offered. His eyes looked worried that he hadn't said the right thing and I gave him a weak smile. The pressure on my chest wasn't as bad anymore, it was more bearable. Having him here had helped, he had been right. "We all miss him you know." Sheppard said quietly. Sighing I shook my head,  
"Without trying to offend anybody, not as much as me and Jeannie do. Everything's changed so fast, he changed so fast. I...he promised he'd never leave and I know it sounds stupid but I'm just so...I'm just so mad that he'd break that promise. I know it's not his fault, he can't help it and that's what makes me feel so guilty and I hate myself for it, he's the one in trouble not me. I'm just being so selfish about this but I don't know what to do, how am I supposed to be there for a person that doesn't even remember me?" I asked tears brimming in my eyes againand my voice weaker than a whisper. Sheppard sighed and shook his head,  
"Honestly I don't know. But we'll work something out, we always is going to turn out okay in the end. We're the miracle workers of the Pegasus galaxy, we can save everyone else so we can save Rodney."

He sounded so sure of himself, so confident he almost had me believing him. Chewing my lower lip I nodded tentatively, no need to tell im I didn't believe that. Just like there was no need to tell him the real reason I had been moved to the Pegasus galaxy. Standing I walked towards the mirror and caught sight of my reflection, I looked a mess, my eyes were red from all the crying and there were black bags under them where I hadn't been sleeping. My usually tan skin was pale and even my expression looked worn out and sullen. Turning I paced back and forth between my bed and the wall, the only sound for a while was the squeak of my boots as I turned but Sheppard's eyes followed me back and forth, I could still see him trying to comprehend everything I'd told him.  
"I feel so selfish." I admitted. Sheppard frowned a little and stood up, walking towards me,  
"Why?" what was with all the questions? Did he have to care so much? Why did he have to make it so easy to talk to him dammit! I didn't want to reveal any more of myself to him today, he'd already seen more than I was comfortable with.  
"I'm the one sitting here crying and being pathetic when it's Rodney that's in trouble. He needs my support right now but I can't get within ten feet of him, what kind of friend does that?" there was disgust in my voice as I turned around and smacked straight into his chest.

He was a sturdy man, I felt his muscles tense as he caught me when I went to fall back. Stumbling slightly he took a step forward, his legs either side of mine and his hands supporting my back. Blinking in suprise I met his eyes, they were roaming my face as slowly, he pulled me back up, my hands on his upper arms as we stood and watched each other, completely in a trance like state that we couldn't seem to break. He was so close, literally, we were stood maybe an inch away from each other. My sense were overloaded with John Sheppard, his scent, the sturdy feeling of his toned body under my hands, his brown eyes held mine in a captivating way that I couldn't look away from even if I wanted too. His warmth was radiating from his hands into my body and made my heart speed up in my chest.  
"You're a better friend than you think." he murmered his warm breathe hititng my lips and making me shiver. It felt like I was melting, melting like soft runny honey into his arms, this attractive man infront of me was incredible I realised. He wasn't just a pretty face, he was really sweet, kept a close eye on all of his team because they were his priority, he was selfless, he was kind, he was brave. "You should get some sleep, you're not sleeping again are you?" he asked his voice barely more audiable than a breathe of air. Shaking my head slightly I tried to get my breathe to come out of my throat. "Then take the rest of the day, I'll clear it with Woolsey, sleep." he insisted lightly.

"Bu-but I..." I trailed off unable to get my words out of my throat as my heart hammered painfully against my ribs. His brown eyes flickered down to my lips and my hands tightened on his arms, unfortunately for me, that seemed to shake him awake. It was like it suddenly crashed down on both of us to shatter that peaceful atmosphere that had descended over the room, that it was just so incredibly wrong. He was a lieutenant colonel, I was just about a lieutenant, there were strict fraternization rules in the military that prohibited relationships. Relationships? God I needed to slow down, so what if I met an attractive guy that was just as attractive on the inside as he was outside, that didn't mean I had to fall head over heels for him. We both pulled away at the same time and cleared our throat awkwardly. My eyes flickered away, strangely my boots had become the most interesting thing in the room to stare at. "I erm...thank you for er...for listening to me and er...yeah I'm going to...going to go to sleep now." I said impassively with a little nod at the end.  
"Oh yeah yeah right, go for it, I'll er, I'll er see you later." with that he swiftly left the room and didn't look back. Swallowing slightly I waited until the doors closed before I flopped down on my bed with an over dramatic sigh and buried my face in the pillow, where I proceeded to yell in frustration until my throat was raw. Why the hell had I let him leave?


	10. Things Are Back To Normal

**Authors Note: Hey guys, I'm not sure it was really clear in the last two chapters but this bit is based off of Season five episode The Shrine. This story will pretty much take place throughout season five only it will have my own ending. Thanks again for all the reads, reviews and favorites. **

* * *

John's Point Of View:

_"John!John! Open up! John!" Shooting up in bed I sprinted to the door and opened it, sleep still blurring my eyes as my body tried to catch up with everything that was occuring. A grey shirt whizzed past em and turning i stared groggily at a pacing Rodney before my training kicked in and I became alert. Frowning slightly I put a hand on his shoulder to try and stop him. "J-John! John! She said it's gonna happen faster now I don't wanna loose myself John!" he was panicked, crying his every word at me and jumpy. My frown deepened, this was my fault, I had done this too him, if I hadn't of said yes my team would never have gone on that rescue mission and he would of been okay.  
"Hey Rodney, look it's gonna be okay, it's okay." I tried to soothe him, but I wasn't overly sure it had worked. Grabbing my plaid red shirt I tossed Rodney one of my hoodies and pulled a six pack out of my mini-fridge.  
"What are you doing?" Rodney asked sounding bewildered.  
"Put that on and follow me." I instructed as we walked together to my favourite pier. Sitting together our legs swinging over the edge we drank in silence mostly. _

_Looking out at the moonlight shining on the waves I felt at peace, which was something I didn't feel often anymore with the stressful job of keeping my team together as we watched Rodney fall apart. Something flew past me then, it was a chunk of...was that flesh? Turning to ask Rodney if he'd seen it, I watched in horror as he began to flake apart, large chunks of his flesh came free and began to rift out to sea, his eyes widened and he turned to me, his jaw dropping as he cried my name in a panic. His jaw broke away and suddenly, Rodney was gone, he had literally drifted away from me. My heart was hammering in my chest, panic surging through my veins as I called out his name, almost as if that could magically bring him back.  
"It's okay John." a gentle hand on my arm pulled me around and into a tight hug, this person was warm, she smelt comfortingly of orange blossoms and was perhaps half a head shorter than me, but whoever she was I felt entirely comfortable with her because I was bawling like a baby as she shushed me and gently rubbed my back. "It's okay John. Rodney would be happy that it was you with him." Pulling away from the woman I kept my arms wrapped around her waist and held her close. _

_Looking down I was met with beautiful grey eyes, dark brown hair and a tan complexion. I realised that it was Tegan. I felt like a spectator as I watched me and her interact, she kept her hands on my arms, my arms stayed around her waist as we comforted each other. It was like I was a second body watching myself from far away. The thing that shocked me most, that sent a zap through my entire body was watching me carefully press my lips against hers, they were plump and I could feel how soft they were on mine. _

Jolting upright in bed I swallowed, I was sweating, shaking slightly and there was an uncomfortable feeling in my gut. What the hell had that been about? Why the hell was I kissing Tegan in my dreams? Shaking my head I tried to push the dream away and checked my alarm clock. Five twenty three in the morning. Running a hand through my hair I pushed myself up on my elbows and swung my feet out so they hit the floor. Sighing I pushed to my feet and padded towards the bathroom, finishing my buisness I flattened my hair out as best as I could and slipped on my workout clothes. More black sweats and a grey t-shirt with a hoodie over the top. Dragging my old worn sneakers onto my feet and grabbing my IPod I started out on my morning jog to think over everything that had occured these past two weeks. Atlantis was quite as usual, there wasn't anybody in the corridors apart from a few other people that liked to jog early in the morning like me, Lorne for example gave me a nod as he jogged back the other way. There was only a skeleton crew in the control room at this sun was rising making the copper colour on the walls and floor shine beautifully, the ocean outside glistened and I was reminded how lucky I was to be here.

Stopping on the catwalk I leaned against the railing, breathing a little hard as I watched the scenery change as the sun rose higher in the sky to turn it a bright light blue instead o th dusty light pink of early dawn. The last two weeks had been tough. Jeannie had been called over, Rodney had deteriorated. He could barely talk now, his words were slurred and baby like, and he only just about remembered who we were. It was hard to watch, Keller couldn't do anything and it was killing her as much as it was killing us. Ronon didn't show it of course, but Teyla had become quieter, preferring to spend more time with kanaan and Torren, I couldn't remember the last time I'd trained with the Bantos sticks with her. The hardest thing of all though, was watching Tegan sit beside Rodney, talking to him about anything and everything and watching her leave the room with tears in her eyes when he had a moment and had to ask who she was. Tegan and I had spent most of the two weeks together, since all of this began and Rodney started to forget she hadn't liked being alone anymore. After our little conversation she seemed to be most comfortable with me, so a lot of the time we spent in the training room, admittedly I'd never been better at sparring but it showed me just how much anger she was really harbouring. Ronon had told us about a place he and Teyla knew of called The Shrine, his grandfarther had been through this and after visitng that place, he'd had one more day as himself again, before he died the day after. None of us were particularly keen on the idea but we had no choice in the matter because Jeannie had decided to go. It felt like we'd set Rodney a death date but he had done so much for us that we were obligated to go there.

The sun had fully risen now as I jogged back to my room and showered, changed into my uniform and tackled my hair so it wasn't as knotty as before. I walked through the hallways that were eerily quite, almost as if the city itself was mourning for Rodney, before I stopped in the armoury. The rest of the team were already there, geared up and ready to go. The room was deathly quite when I pulled on my tac vest and clipped on a p-90. Ronon was holding the picnic hamper and we walked together to the jumper bay. Tegan was completely stoic, her grey eyes were stormy, her plump lips pinched into a grim line, her hair pulled back in a neat ponytail. She walked the slowest, as if she could delay this event, but it was inevitable now, there was no other way around it and the thought settled a heavy weight on my chest making it damn near hard to breathe. Making a pslit second decision, I pressed my hand to the small of her back in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. She removed my hand quickly, but before she let it go she held it and squeezed gently. I saw her jaw tremble slightly and realised she was struggling to keep her emotions at bay. Stepping into the back of a jumper we saw Keller, Rodney and Jeannie dressed up in black like we were and tac vests. Only they didn't have guns, Keller had medical equipment but that was all.

Nobody spoke, except Rodney who was babbling in the back as he tried to make sense of what was going on, Tegan sat behind Teyla who was in the passenger seat of the jumper as I lowered us into the gate room. her knuckles were white because of how tightly she'd clenched her fists, and it was killing me that I could do nothing about it.  
"Colonel Sheppard you're clear to go, tell Doctor Mckay...tell him it's been a pleasure." Woolsey said over the radio, I didn't respond, instead I just launched us through the gate and cloaked the jumper the minute we came out on the other side, the wraith outpost there was covered in smoke and they were firing blindly but manuevered us so we were well out of the way before landing in a clearing not too far from the waterfall. It was slow going, we tried to ake casual conversation but Rodney's childlike whining and moaning was mostly the only sound we heard. The bird sang of course, the insects native to the planet buzzed and the crash of the waterfall was always there but I barely heard it. Instead I focused on making my way around fallen logs and tree roots. Rodney's steps were slow, he stumbled a lot and it slowed us down but for once none of us cared, we just wanted to get Rodney there and tell him how we really felt before he had to go.

"I w-w-wannt to s-st-stop." Rodney slurred and stammered, Teyla held him up, the waterfall was crashing infront of us and I barely even noticed, even when the spray hit my face to help cool me down. The boulders were covered in moss and lead up to a well hidden cave in the rock behind the waterfall. Climbing up it we took a breathe before we actually went into the cave. The minute we crossed the threshold, Rodney doubled over, clutching his head and screaming in pain. My eyes widened and my hands fluttered uselessly as Jeannie and Keller helped him furthur into the was a gut instinct, an impulsive reaction to hearing Rodney's cry, my arm reached out, wrapping around Tegan's shoulders and pulling her towards me, she turned and buried her face in my chest as I patted her shoulder gently. Ronon raised an eyebrow at me and I looked away, I didn't quite know what to say. I'd gone from being the tough, flagship team leader to...actually I honestly didn't know. Recently I'd been more in tune with tegan and her eotions than I'd care to admit, I didnt like emotions they made me uncomfortable and I found them irritating. Military personnel were supposed to be able to put emotions to one side. This had to stop now. Rodney looked up from the floor, blinking like he was trying to focus on us as he looked around. The shrine was a bit of a dingy place, a rocky core in the middle and a circle cut out of the rock had the waterfall crashing jsut outside. It was a nice enough place for a picnic though I guess.

Rodney frowned a little and slowly pushed himself to his feet as we all waited and watched with baited breathe.  
"What happened?" he asked sounding completely coherent. Looking around his frown deepened, "Jeannie what are you doing here?" he wasn't looking too impressed as Keller and Jeannie explained the situation. "What so you basically jsut brought me here to die!? Oh hell no there's gotta be something, give me the data I want to see this myself." he demanded as Keller sighed and handed him a scanner and a data pad. Tegan was talking quitely with Teyla as they unpacked the food behind us, no matter what happened I wasn't leaving this planet without being fed. Crossing my arms over my chest I tried to coax him into sitting down.  
"Rodney, come on, come sit down and have a sandwhich or something, keep your strength up." the smell of damp moss reached my nose and I wrinkled it slightly. It was cool in here, kind of dark but the natural light kept it from being pitch black at least. Instead he just kept muttering about radiation of some sort and scanning the collumn of rock in the middle of the room. Keller was trying to talk some sense into him it seemed before finally Tegan walked over to him, she ooked awkward, standing beside him and not knowing what to say, his face softened a bi though and he drew her into a hug.  
"Hang on, I want to try something." Keller said suddenly, marching Rodney back out towards the opening the minute he set foot outside the small cave of the shrine, his creamed in pain again and was clutching his head, Jeannie quickly pulled Rodney back inside as Tegan scowled at Keller,  
"What the hell's all that about?" she demanded. We all stood in a loose group as Keller explained her theory and Rodney nursed his head.

Keller stood, arms crossed looking defiant and stubborn.  
"This radiation the shrine's emitting. It causes the parasite to shrink, it's small enough for me to operate on Rodney without causing him any harm. We need to radio for the right medical equipment, I can save him!" Everyone's eyes lit up including mine, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised it was impossible. There was a wraith outpost out there, the smoke through the gate trick was probably only going to work once. Guilt twinged in my stomach because I knew that I was effectively killing Rodney before the sentence even came out of my mouth.  
"We can't do that. The wraith fell for our smoke screen once but they won't again." Keller and Jeannie both dropped their jaws in shock. Teyla and Ronon quietly agreed with me I could see, Tegan looked like she was having an internal battle between what she felt and what she knew was right. Keller protested immediately.  
"I can save him! He's your friend colonel! Think about this!"  
"That's my brother, we have to do something while we have the oppurtunity." Jeannie said fiercely. Rodney sighed a little,  
"He's right." All eyes turned to him as he back me up and I felt my heart ache, the man was agreeing with me as I condemned him, dammit why couldn't he just be mad at me? That would make it easier. "The wraith won't be fooled again, sending a second jumpers too risky. Look I...I just wanna get this day over with, spend it with you guys. You don't have to save me." Rodney said quietly. Tegan shook her head viciously, looking like she was trying to clear her head.

A frown marred my face as I tried to comrephend it all. She'd need something to clean the wound with, we had a first aid kit for that, a way to actually get into his head...she had a scalpel in her medical bag right? An idea sprang to mind and I grabbed Keller's arm, rushing us outside where I quickly lead her back to the jumper in a brisk jog and began hastily pulling things from the shelf. A power drill, some flood lights, thermal blankets.  
"What if we use these? Can you operate with these?" she looked at me like I was a mad man and I waited impatiently on her answer, "Doc it's the best I can do but I am not sending for a second jumper, the risk is too great." I said firmly. Keller grimaced but nodded.  
"Yeah, yeah I...it's primitive but I think I can...god there's so many things that could go wrong though!" She groaned. Picking up the stuff we lugged it back up to the shrine and in twenty minutes we had a make shift operating theatre set up. Flood lights shining down on a spot in the corner, blankets on the floor for Rodney to lie on and Keller's medical kit open beside her as she kitted up with a mask and rubber gloves. She sterilised the drill bit and her other equipment while I explained the idea to Rodney. He looked reluctant but agreed, Jeannie protested immediately and he dragged both her and Tegan into the corner, speaking quietly. Jeannie was clearly trying to persuade him not to do it,  
"Look I'll be dead by the end of the day anyway and I'd rather have one last chance at surviving than not at all." Rodney exclaimed before the conversation grew quiet. Teyla was slowly eating her way through a sandwhich deep in thought by the look of it.

"You and Tegan are getting close." Ronon commented his voice gruff and quiet. Shrugging I didn't was attractive, even now my eyes were dragging themselves up and down her body, long legs, lean figure, curvy in all the right places...But it wasn't just that, she was mysterious, she made me curious, she was a person undrneath her hard exterior that had suffered and was broken, a person that needed fixing, and something in my gut drew me to her as if I was the one destined to fix this broken woman. So that was the answer I settled on,  
"She makes me curious." Ronon smirked and shook his head, dreadlocks swinging with each shake.  
"It's more than that and you know it she's hot, you always go for the hot ones." he replied. Rolling my eyes I opened my mouth to retort when Keller called me over, she handed me a apir of blue rubbed gloves when I got there and I raised an eyebrow, my stomach suddenly going queasy.  
"I need you to put these on and when I'm drilling you have to hold his head completely still, it can't move you understand me?" she asked me. Poor Keller look frazzeled and I realised that this was a lot of pressure to put on her, it was unfair of me to do it and she'd recieve a glowing report from me when this went down okay. I had faith in her abilities. I felt guilty that it was me making her do this though. I'd done so much wrong since my first day on Atlantis, I'd disobeyed orders, I'd angered those in charge, I'd make split second decisions that hadn't been in anyones best intrests, now I was piling the pressure on my work colleauges and it wasn't right. I was a terrible leader.

Tegan had drew Rodney into a tight hug before he came and lay down ont he blankets for Keller, she covered his body up to the neck with another sheet and drew the markings on his head where she'd need to cut and so forth, readying a shot of sedative. Rodney's eyes met mine,  
"Thanks." he said quietly, that was all he needed to say because I knew Rodney well enough to know he was thanking me for all the times I'd saved him, for picking him for my team, for all the arguments I'd started and for all the times I'd been there and told him crappy jokes or just let him rant. Nodding once I tried to think of something to say, but the sentimental words got stuck in my throat, my team were my friends, my family, they meant a lot to me. But I'd never be able to put it into words. It just wasn't me.  
"See you when you wake up." was what I settled on. Tegan stood, arms folded across her chest as she observed the whole thing through narrowed eyes, Jeannie was pacing with Teyla trying to clam her down, Ronon was stood by Tegan watching as intently, it was hard to tell if the two of them were even breathing still, they both looked so...statue like. Keller gave him the shot, his eyes fluttered closed and my hands gripped his head in a gentle but firm grip, keeping it as still as I could. Picking up the drill Keller looked me dead in the eye,  
"Don't let his head move, not even an inch." she insisted. Nodding once I tried not to wince as she pushed the drill into his skull with a sickening sound of crunching bone.

The atmosphere was tense, all my muscles had tightened and the air was thick enough to cut with a knife. Nobody dared breathe that much as Keller cut a square flap into Rodney's skin, she grabbed it with her tweezers and then handed them to me so I could keep the flap of skin out of the way. My breathe was caught in my throat behind the mask on my face. The scanner Keller was using to keep an eye on Rodney's vitals beeped sudenly and my panic bubbled. Keller frowned, picking it up, "The parasite, it's...moving." she informed us in a murmur. The only sound was a few panicked breathes from Jeannie and Teyla's soothing comment of Doctor Keller knows what she's doing, that the frantic beating of our hearts. Rodney was blissfully unaware of it all of course, lucky him I thought. "It's moving towards the hole, I..I think it's trying to get out." she said uncertainly, my mind was made up in an instant.  
"Ronon the minute that things clear of us shoot it dead."I ordered, ym voice ringing with authority. Tegan had already got her glock out and with a smirk, Ronon switched it for his stunner, she rolled her eyes a little as he set it to kill.  
"There you go." his voice almost teasing and she huffed,  
"Yeah yeah like you wouldn't wanna kill it the minute it gets out of him if Sheppard was in Rodney's place." she muttered. Ronon just ruffled her hair in response and she scowled even more. There was a sound that was almost like the squelching noise you get when your foot sinks in the muddy puddles that are still half water, then something black began to ooze from the wound. More and more of it emerged until there was a sort of mini tarfish made of a black jelly like substance on his forehead, grabbing it with the tweezers I quickly threw it across the room, away from any of the people I cared about and Ronon's gun went off once, then again until the starfish parasite was nothing but a pile of ash. Tegan looked oddly satisfied in a way.

After cleaning his forehead and stitching the skin there Keller let Rodney wake up, ten minutes after that, we were all sitting together, laughing, joking, just enjoying our picnic as if nothing had ever happened. Tegan was laughing hard with Jeannie, Rodney look furiously embarrassed and I found myself letting loose and laughing with them. We got to take Rodney home with us today, he wasn't going to die. The relief was short lived because I knew there was soon going to be another life or death situation facing us, it was just the way life in the Pegasus galaxy was, but at least we could face it together, as a team, like we always did and would continue to do so for a while, nothing would ever happen to my team on my watch. That was a silent promise.


	11. The Most Terrifying Mission Of My Life

Tegan's Point Of View:

"Rodders I'm fine, I promise, see look, all ten fingers ten toes and my heads still on the right way." I sighed exasperatedly, looking up to see him frowning down at me,  
"I still think you should talk to the-"  
"Rodney, I am not talking with someone about my mental capabilities, besides you know I hate counsellors, I am fine for gods sakes." I grumbled. John raised an eyebrow, as if to say he didn't believe me either and I shot him a glare so deadly a cobra would of quivered. Teyla cleared her throat to stop us from bickering as Rodney smirked,  
"Yes well I heard you were a wreck without me." he gloated. Snorting into my soup I had to cough as I choked, after calming down and a few gulps of water I grinned,  
"Of course I was Rodney who would fix my laptop if you weren't around?" I asked making Ronon chuckle under his breathe and Teyla smile. Since Rodney's operation, things had gone more or less back to normal, we hadn't been off-world in two weeks though after Woolsey insisted we take the time off to recover and get back to normal. Personally killing a few wraith would of had me sorted out within the 24 hour mark but orders were orders.

John stood suddenly after being called via the radio and gave us a nod of farewell before leaving the room. Rodney stood looking awkward,  
"I should...probably go and talk to carson, he's leaving today." he said with a frown. Oh yes, Carson Beckett had been the doctor here before Keller had, he'd died before the infamous Elizabeth Weir but the hybrid wraith Michael had made a clone of him that we'd found last year apparently, he'd been frozen until they could find a cure for his celluar degeneration and now that we'd found it and he'd spent some time working here to battle the effects of the Hoffan drug that Michael had forced him to create, he realised he wanted to go home instead. He left soon after John had and Teyla finished her lunch before leaving me and Ronon alone to finish ours. Chewing thoughtfully on my bread after mopping up my last bit of tomato soup, I was startled into reality when Ronon's gruff voice asked me,  
"You sure you're okay, you were worse off when he was...out of it." Looking up I sighed and nodded,  
"I know none of you believe me but really I am okay. I just...I've lost so many people in my life Ronon I...I don't even want to contemplate loosing Rodney, any of you." he shrugged a little,  
"We've got nine lives, least I think that's what Sheppard said." I laughed a little and nodded, gulping down the rest of my water and wandering when John had taught Ronon the whole nine lives of a cat thing.

My radio crackled to life in my ear and I tapped it, answering with the formal,  
"Lieutenant James, go ahead."  
"James, hey, do me a favour and come down to the armoury, you me and Beckett are going somewhere." John said mysteriously. Frowning a little I agreed and stood up,closing the channel and shrugging at Ronon,  
"Going on a mystery adventure with Sheppard apparently, see you later Ronon." Waving at him I turned on my heel and left for the armoury as asked,sighing to myself along the way. There had been something off between me and John recently. I still called him Sheppard around the team like he still called me James but whenever we were alone it was first name basis. But for the past week, he'd been distant, almost as if he was pushing me away, or maybe I was doing it to him because I'd done it plenty of times before. We used to train together everyday but not this week, this week I'd been on my own, we didn't seem to speak as often as we used to either. Not since I'd been that crying mess that I had never wanted him to see. He had been the one person though that hadn't ran away, other than Rodney. He'd stayed, he'd comforted me, he'd talked through it with me and he hadn't pitied me like everyone else had. But now it seemed like he realised what a mess I actually was and didn't want to come near me, the thought broke me more than the events of my past had.

The armoury was full of chatter between Beckett and John when I got there, John gave me an awkward nod and let me gear up in peace. Whenever I met his eyes now, there was conflict in if he was constantly debating something in his head when I was around. Clipping my p-90 to my tac vest I walked out with them, "So where are we headed?" I asked trying to create conversation.  
"Major Teldy's team seem to think they've stumbled upon one of Michael's many labs, we're headed out to take a look." John said without looking at me. A twinge of pain ran through my chest and I frowned. Instead, I turned my attention to Beckett, perhaps John was just having a bad day.  
"I don't think we've met yet, Lieutenant Tegan James, it's a pleasure I've heard a lot about you from Rodney Doctor Beckett." my voice was polite, a smile on my face as I extended a hand and heard the gate dial up behind me. Beckett shook my hand with a nod and a smile,  
"Pleasure's all mine lass, Rodney talks very highly of you too." he replied. Looking up at the shimmering blue wormhole I smiled, it was good to be going off world again, even if not all of my team where here with me. My foot fell through the puddle and onto solid ground. All around me were trees, moss, hard packed dirt floors, fallen twigs and leaves.

The forest was dry, the day was overcast but the light still filtered through the leaves. The planet was of mild temeperature. We hiked for a while over large tree roots and up mounds of dirt, keeping in touch with Teldy's team via John's radio, we spoke about this and that, Beckett asked me a few questions about Scotland and what it was like when I left England. After two hours of trekking from the gate, we finally met up with Teldy's team. The boys looked completely preplexed, I just smirked knowing I'd definitely get along with these girls just fine. Teldy's team was entirely composed of women, and the thought seemed to baffle John and Beckett.  
"Colonel Sheppard sir." Teldy greeted him with a respectful salute and a nod my way. I returned her salute, after all she was my superior. "This is my team, Doctor Porter, Captain Vega, and Sergeant Mehra. The lab is this way." she said very buisness like and formal. John and Beckett were just starring at the woman, I cleared my throat,  
"What's the matter Sheppard? Never heard of girl power?" I said with a smirk, Vega was smirking with me as John snapped his gaze to me, the look clearly said shut up.  
"Lead the way." he invited and stepped up beside Teldy as they turned and walked away.

Me and Vega were bringing up the rear, everyone else ahead of us. We were getting along just fine, becoming friends fast.  
"So seems like there's a bit of bad blood between you and Sheppard, if you don't mind me saying." that's what I liked about Vega, she was sharp, like a knife. Always cutting straight to the point, she didn't sugar coat things. Brutal honesty was something I liked. Shrugging slightly I made up the same excuse that had been in my head for the past week,  
"He's just having a bad day. Where's Michael's lab on a creepy factor?" I asked curiously, she grimaced,  
"Honestly? About a seven." she admitted. Walking for a while in companiable silence we finaly got to the lab. It was in an underground cave network, dark, poorly lit looking a bit like a nightmare tunnel. There were macines and computer terminals dotted around and stasis chambers in the wall. The place was lit in an eerie green colour and the terminals were covered in the usual things from wraith hive ships, live the gooey light pink webbing and black hard shell like material.

Beckett was straight at a terminal as every instinct in my body screamed wrong. Every cell was screaming at me to turn around and walk away from here, this place was bad, bad things had happened here and bad things were still to come. An uneasy weight settled in the pit of my stomach and a frown marred my face.  
"Sheppard?" I called his name and watched him turn around and walk over. The conflict was still in his eyes, like he was debating whether or not to actual talk to me. Keeping his face stoic he asked me what was wrong, so I explained. "I really don't think this is a good idea, we shouldn't be here it's giving me a bad vibe. Do we know what went on here?" Sheppard just sighed,  
"Stop being paranoid. You can't tell me you've got bad vibe whenever we enter a creepy looking place." he replied. My eyebrows rose,  
"Do you remember the last bad vibe I got?" I quizzed him watching him with disbelief colouring my voice. He smelled like apples again and it was a god send when you compared it to the stench of rotting flesh and damp that this cave seemed to reek of.  
"That was just a coincidence. Get over it, we need to check this out so pair up with Vega or something and get moving."he said firmly. Narrowing my eyes slightly I watched him put his threatening leader face on. "That's an order lieutenant." his voice was no nonsense and I had no choice but to obey. Nodding I walked away and turned on the torch attached to my p-90. It didn't make sense, bad week or not, John was always fair, he listened if anyone was concerned, especially when that person was a teammate.

My muscles tightened, my senses went on high alert as I carefully stepped into the long tunnel of stasis pods. Vega and Mehra were a little furthur down looking inside. Shuffling closer I peered inside one. It was foggy but I could make out a silhouette inside. It looked human, but I didn't want to risk opening it up and finding out. Stepping back I let out a breathe of air and wrinkled my nose, this place really needed an air freshner. Vega gave me a grim I told you so look that I replied too with a nod.  
"Sir, there was a village a few miles out, do you think it's worth checking out?" Vega asked, John looked thoughtful for a second before he nodded,  
"Could be, come on, you me and Teldy, Mehra,James stay here with Beckett and Porter." he ordered. Forcing the suprise off of my face I nodded and turned away, normally he always kept his team close, if Ronon wasn't around, me and Teyla were his choice for accompaniment. Shaking it off I leaned against the wall and settled in for a long wait. I wasn't a child, I wasn't going to get pissy over being left behind.

* * *

Irritation was seeping through me. Irritation and boredom which was not a good combination because my boredom made me feel even more irritated. That irritation soon boiled over into frustration. As nice as Beckett was, he was driving mad. The flirting between him and Doctor Porter was sickening. I was never one for caution. If I liked someone, I told them, I didn't do the whole flirting thing and hope they'd notice because I was too afraid to come out and say yeah I like you! Rolling my eyes slightly I watched as Beckett radioed John.  
"Colonel Sheppard there's a lot more information for us to go through, we should stay the night, has the village got enough room for the rest of us?" he asked, his scottish accent comforting me with it's gentility. My ears perked up at that, hiking meant a distraction, I'm so hoping he says yes. Beckett nodded a little and began to pack up stuff, I raised an eyebrow.  
"We headed to the village doc?" I asked. He nodded,  
"Aye, we're staying for the night so we cna come back tomorrow." he informed me. Mehra and I waited by the door and we watched the doctors pack up the equipment before they joined us. The sun was just beginning to set, burning the sky a bright orange as we hiked towards the village, Mehra leading the way. The doctors were just ahead of us.

We were deathly silent, neither of us saying a word. Twigs snapped beneath our feet and the air was awkwardly tense. The sky became a deep, burnt orange colour and it was almost dark by the time we went into the village. It looked deserted, it would of been colourful once I presumed, perhaps with a little market and children running about but now there was no one. Everything was grey, gloomy, depressing. That uneasy weight in my stomach was getting heavier the furthur in we went. Vega was waving us towards a house and we started towards her, hurrying into the house that was just as gloomy as the outside. The deserted run down houses and the old abandoned well. The thing about wells, was they really creeped me out for no reason what so ever.  
"We should head to the next village, get supplies, Teldy, vega with me." John ordered, brushing past me as he walked out. Mehra, me and Beckett and Porter were left alone again with a last apologetic look from Vega.

The house was clearly abandoned, wood was rotting but still structurally sound at least. The cupboards and shelves were empty and there was just enough room for all of us if we squished up together. For a while, there was nothing but the annoying sound of flirting from Porter and Beckett, I was stood leaning against the doorframe, looking at the outside world and trying to imagine it as a village that was bustling, teeming with happy human life. But there was nothing but the inky black sky above me, speckled with stars and the grey shadowy buildings. I was too tense to sleep. Footsteps alerted me to someone apporaching me from behind and I turned to see Mehra. She compeltely ignore me but stood beside me. I decided to change our cold relationship if I could.  
"You finally get bored of their flirting too huh?" I asked, my voice too light to be serious. But Mehra just shot me a distastefull look that had my eyebrows raising on my head and didn't say a word in reply. In the distance, there were gunshots, echoing through the empty silence and shattering it. The noise hung in the air for a minute, my breathe catching in my throat and my heart stuttering before speeding up in my chest. Raising my p-90 I looked out and scanned the horizon, from the well in the middle of the village, I could see fog emerging, fog that was impossible to see through. It was spilling over the floor like water and creeping out in every direction, filling the square.

"Colonel Sheppard, can you hear me?" Beckett asked sounding worried. I listened attentively, straining my ears to hear any kind of noise. "Colonel Sheppard?" he tried again. My stomach lurched, was John okay? He better be, the image of John, shot into swiss cheese flashed through my mind and I gagged a little in my mouth. "Nothing but static." he reported. Mehra set her face in a determined frown and began moving towards the open door.  
"Where are you going?" I asked, forcing myself to stay focus and shake of the dreadful image. She looked back at me and carried on towards the door,  
"I'm going to look for our people." she shot back. My eyebrows rose, I was her superior here, which meant with no way of contacting the others, I was in charge now, shaking my head I put ym arm across the doorway to stop here.  
"No, we stay here, the fog out there is too thick to see through, we wait here and we'll look when the fog clears." I said firmly, she scoffed and pushed past me, the fog wasn't as dense on the step, but it soon swallowed her up,  
"I don't have to take orders from you." she called over her shoulder haughtily. Narrowing my eyes I stepped out onto the porch but I was unable to go any furthur,  
"I rank above you, that makes me your superior, you follow my orders! Mehra get back here! Come back now that's an order!" I yelled into the fog, but Mehra didn't reply.

Slamming my palm against the door frame I turned to look at the doctors, they both looked visibly shocked and anxious. Inhaling deeply, I sighed, "You two stay here, I need to find Mehra, keep trying to contact the others, take this, anyone that isn't me, Vega, Teldy, Mehra or Sheppard, shoot." I said handing Beckett my side arm. He took it with a nod, his eyes soft,  
"Be careful out there lass." he muttered. Nodding once I headed to the door and grimaced at the dense fog.  
"Shut the door, keep it locked." I instructed. He nodded and did as I asked. Turning I took a deep breathe and raised my p-90, shock horror, my torch flickered but didn't turn on. It was dead. Swallowing back my fear I let a shaky breathe escape my lips. Scanning my surroundings I kept my footfalls silent, everything around me was white fog. Thick white fog that swirled creepily and had the fear sending butterflies through my stomach. "Mehra! Mehra where are you!" I called out, my voice echoing through the empty night. There was no way she was getting lost on my watch. No reply. My heart was hammering in my chest and pounding painfully against my ribs, it took all my willpower to stop my hands from trembling. "Mehra!" I called again, this time louder as I continued to walk blindly through the fog.

Something moved in the fog, a shadow. My heart hammering I cautiously walked forward but I saw it wasn't Mehra at all. It wasn't anyone from my crew. The shadow wasn't big, but it was slightly hunched over, twisting it's head in an almost snake like manner to look around, it was half crouched like it was ready to attack. Even here I could see it had long claws, at least three inches long on each finger. Stepping away carefully my foot snapped a twig,and the shadows head snapped my way, turning on my heel I ran and pressed my back against the side of a building, sinking to the floor I tried to stay silent as my heart jumped into my throat. Somewhere, there was a ticking noise. It was coming closer to, slowly turning my head to look around I saw it, crawling down the wall like spiderman towards me. It was a monster. There was no other word to describe it. It looked like the skin from it's forehead had been sewn over it's eyes, making it blind. The skin was pale, almost grey with dark veins sticking out, it's teeth were more like fangs. A small squeak of terror escaped me, my eyes were wide with panic as it looked directly at me. My breathe was shaky and I watched the fog spill from..were they gills? Yeah, gills, the fog was coming from gills on each side of it's neck. It slowly began to crawl back the other way and without thinking, I let out a sigh of relief, suddenly, the creature turned back around and started coming towards me fast, too fast. I didn't have enough time to raise my p-90 so instead I screamed and threw my arms up over my head in a vain attempt to protect myself.

Gunfire. It echoed through my skull and made my heart pound even faster in terror as the creature fell to the floor infront of me. Shooting to my feet I saw Mehra standing and looking at me with narrowed eyes,  
"What are you doing out here why didn't you stay with the doctors?"she asked. Narrowing my gaze I grabbed her arm and frog marched her back to the porch.  
"Because there was no way in hell I was letting you go out there alone with practically zero visibility and no working communications or lights!" I countered folding my arms over my chest, she frowned at me,  
"Thank you." that brought me up short. I wasn't expecting her to thank me. Nodding slightly I cleared my throat and knocked on the door,  
"Beckett it's me open up...no problem Mehra just...don't wander off on your own again." I said running a hand through my hair. She nodded a little as Beckett opened up the door. He looked worried, and a little groggy.  
"I was jus' taking a nap, when I woke up she was gone, Alison's gone, she's not here!"he informed me. Groaning I looked at Mehra but I sensed somebody was behind me, whirling aorund my p-90 raised I saw John and Teldy emerge from the fog.

Relief coursed through my body as my eyes swept over him, showing me he was unscathed. Sighing I slowly lowered my p-90 and ushered everybody inside. Shutting the door I pressed my back against it, that's when I realised, there was no Vega.  
"Where's Vega?" I asked with Mehra. Teldy and John shared a look and slowly shook their heads. My head fell back against the wood and my eyes closed. I took a few deep breathes before opening my eyes again. Shock had numbed me, Vega was dead. It could of been me. Was it quick? Did she feel any pain? I realised I couldn't afford to think like that as John reported what they'd found, a native to the planet they'd met earlier called Mirellus had opened the stasis pods, the thing that had tried to kill me was an experiment Michael had created, now they were all running around. I didn't blame Mirellus, he had thought he could save his wife, however Vega was dead, Porter was missing and I had nearly died too because of his actions, so unfortunately, I wasn't too happy with him being in the same house as us right now. Teldy and Mehra looked girm. "I think I know something about the creatures that could help." I offered finally.

John and Teldy looked at us,  
"You went outside when we told you to stay here?" he asked, Mehra cleared her throat,  
"I went outside first and disobeyed her orders. She told me to stay and I didn't, she was nice enough to come and look for me and not leave me alone out there. I take full responsibility sir." Mehra said her voice steady and quiet. John looked suprised but nodded,  
"Thank you for your honesty sergeant, what do you have James?" all eyes turned to me and I shifted uncomfortably, my eyes roaming from one person to another. Beckett shot me a comforting look and I tried to keep the tremble from my voice as I spoke. There was no point in letitng them no I was scared, I was military, I wasn't supposed to show fear.  
"Er well...they're eyes, it...it looked like they'd been sewn shut, they're blind and they use sound to track they're prey, that fog...it...it comes from gills in their necks. I think they use to obscure the environment so their prey can't see them...I think we've already found out but, we're there prey, and they have wicked claws, at least three inches long..." I tapered off shuddering slightly at the memory of the claws coming to rip at my flesh.

John stood thoughtfully for a moment, debating what to do in his head.  
"We'll go out and search for Porter. We're not going to make any sound. Mirellus stay here with Beckett and stay silent, for gods sake I meant it this time when I say don't go outside. We'll use these glow sticks to communicate, wave them at each other through the fog. Mehra, Teldy, James, we'll search the village, be careful, stay quiet." he ordered as he opened the door. He wanted me to go back out there! INside I was honestly freaking out. I didn't want to meet one of these things again, but nobody spared me a glance, not even John Sheppard who I thought had cared about me to some degree. So I shook up and snapped my glow stick, causing it to emit a blue glow and raised my p-90. A hand came down on my shoulder and I turned to see Beckett. Clearly he had caught the distress on my face.  
"Be careful out there lass, I believe in you." he murmered giving my shoulder a squeeze before he went back to his tablet at the table.

Walking outside I kept my head held high and crept about in the fog, I couldn't see a single glowstick. Securing mine into my tac vest I kept my guard up, not wanting anyone to sneak up on me. A shiver ran through my spine, I didn't want to be out here alone, I wanted to be by John where I knew it was safe. He was warm, this fog was cold. John was comforting, he could calm me down, soothe my nerves, he could make me feel safe even if I was an inch from death, but he had left me here on my own. Swallowing hard I looked around,my hands trembling. Still no Porter and I dared not call out her name.I'd moved quite far I thought from the house, from I could still hear the crash and the shout of panic from behind me. Resisiting the urge to call out I felt my heart accelerate again, so much for trying to steady my heart beat. My breathe came in ragged shaky gasps as I span around, a small groan escaping my lips, I'd never been so scared in my entire life. More than anything I wished I was back on Atlantis, safe at the mess hall table talking with the team again,joking, bickering, laughing. Then there was gunfire. My panic peaked and I stumbled backwards, turning around I sprinted flat out, running blindly through the fog as fast as my feet could carry me.

There were still no glow sticks in sight. The blood was roaring in my ears and I was gasping for air as I ran a maze of footprints around the place. Until I found it, there, a glowstick. It seemed rather low down and I felt my panic and fear bubble like acid, making me feel sick to the stomach as I took my glow stick and waved it. The glow stick didn't wave back. My feet carried me forward and I bent down to pick up the glowstick, there was nobody in sight, and my head smacked off of something hard. It was brick. My hands felt up the rough stonework as I rose unsteadily to my feet and gasped feeling the hole at the top, I was at the well. Staggering backwards a ragged breathe came out of my mouth and my back hit something hard. A scream escaped my lips as I whirled around, tripping over my own feet and falling onto my back. Whatever I'd hit fell with me, kneeling beside me on the floor and clamping it's hand over my mouth. Thrasing on the floor I heard a familiar voice hiss my name.  
"James! James! Tegan open your eyes! It's just me! Stop!" Cracking my eyes open I saw a figure dressed in black leaning over me. His hand was warm, he slowly moved it from my mouth and grasped my shoulder to pull me up into a sitting position. "You okay?" the voice asked, concerned.

"J-John?" I stammered. The figure in black nodded.  
"Yeah, yeah it's me Tegan. Don't think I've ever seen you so scared." he was whispering but clearly trying to lighten the solemn mood. Standing I brushed myself off and grabbed my p-90, shaking my head,  
"Oh so now you care?" I muttered thinking back to the last week where he'd done nothing but ignore me. John's head jerked back in suprise,  
"Excuse me?" he asked sounding shocked. I shook my head,  
"Don't think I haven't noticed it John, you've been dodging me, puhsing me away, where have you been the past week? You barely speak to me anymore so why do you care now?" wow I sounded like a really dramatic teenager. Nice one Tegan. Turning to walk away I felt John grab my arm,  
"You really wanna do this now?" he demanded gesturing to the fog and the current predicament we were in.  
"No, I don't honestly, I just thought you were a better friend than that John. I didn't realise you were just going to push me away whenever you felt like it." God why was I acting like this? This was so stupid!

John huffed,  
"That is not what this is about." he argued quietly. Rolling my eyes I tried to walk away again but he just wouldn't let me. His grip on my arm was tight, it hurt, my chest hurt. Everything hurt. It hurt that he didn't notice me anymore,it hurt that he wasn't there, it hurt that he was so determined to keep me away. I wanted him to be there, every day. I wanted him near me, I didn't want him to keep pushing me away when all I wanted to do was to get as close as possible to this...this amazing man. This brave, kind, very good looking man, I wanted John Sheppard to notice me. Oh crap. I wanted John Sheppard full stop. I wanted him to want to keep me close. But he was right, I didn't want to do this now, I did't want to becaue if he was distracted even for a moment it could mean he died.A world without John in was a world I didn't want to think about, I didn't want him gone. Suddenly, I was worried for him, I didn't want to let him out of my sight, what if he got hurt and no one was there to help him? God I couldn't handle this! Hormones and crazy monsters were not a good mix!  
"I'm sorry. John please let me go...you're hurting me." I whispered. His hand dropped from my arm immediately.

Walking into the house I was met with Mehra, Teldy, Porter...but no Beckett. Running a hand through my hair frustratedly I felt the frazzeled feeling of panic rush through me again. Nobody understood how much I wanted to go home. But some of the old John seemed to creep back again, and he stood close to me, almost touching my arm with his.  
"Where's Beckett and Mirellus?" he asked suspicouly. Mehra and Teldy shook their heads.  
"No idea, they were gone when we got here, but look, we think the creatures must of took them there's signs of a struggle." Teldy reported solemnly. Glaring half heartedly at the floor I leaned back against the table and ran my left hand over the grainy wood. A sudden thought struck me,  
"How many stasis pods were there?" I asked making Teldy frown. John looked thoughtfull,  
"About twelve." he replied.  
"And we killed three already right?" Mehra said cottoning on, I nodded,  
"There's at least nine of these creatures still out there then." I concluded fake joy in my voice. John sighed a little and crossed his arms over his chest not looking happy at all. Part of me wanted to reach out and squeeze his arm, reassure him we'd be okay, like Ronon had said earlier, we had nine lives right?But I wasn't sos ure,t his was the scariest mission yet. This was the scariest mission, period.

John paced the small abandoned house before sucking in a deep breathe and turning to us,  
"We need to come up with a plan, we need to do something otherwise I don't think we're gonna make it through the night." he said eventually. Mehra had a thoughtfull frown on her face and slowly picked up the tablet.  
"Colonel Sheppard sir? I think I have an idea." she said looking up at us with a determined frown. So that is how I ended up in the window left of Mehra, my p-90 raised and aiming down at the well as I watched John's figure slowly approach the well through the fog. Doctor Alison Porter had set the tablet to emit a low frequency sound when Sheppard lowered it down the well so the fog couldn't scramble the electronics. Me, Teldy, Mehra and Porter were in various buildings around the square, we'd shoot and kill anything that came into the square. Beckett was still missing so our first priority after this was to go and look for him. Taking a few calming breathes in I kept my eyes riveted on John as he crept to the well, the squeak of the chain as he turned the handle was deafening to me and my heart beat painfully loud in my chest.  
"Come on John come on." I whispered. Mehra watched me, suprise on her face but she gave me a confident nod and a small smile. We weren't exactly the best of friends but we were getting somewhere at least, slowly. Biting my lip I listened to the ear ringing sound of the chain squeaking as slowly, John lowered the tablet down.

My eyes were glued to him, I was watching everything, waiting for danger. I swore to myself I'd kill anything that tried to hurt him, and considering that I had a p-90 in my hands that would be all to easy. John must of been gaining confidence, he turned the handle faster and the chain squeaked louder but he didn't stop, his hands fumbled in the fog and I assumed he was arming the C4. Out of nowhere, a creature flew out of the fog and John's shadowy form was tackled to the ground. Lifting my p-90 I prepared myself to fire but Mehra grabbed my arm and shook her head, putting a finger to her lips. I bit my lip, I wanted to help John but firing would give away our position and the plan had to procede. Swallowing back my fear the adrenaline kicked in, and began to race around my body, my blood was roaring in my ears, that rotting flesh smell was filling my noes again and I realised that smell was the creatures. Another figure flew out of the fog and tackled the creature off of John, who immediately began to scramble around for the C4,  
"It's Beckett!" he called, his way of telling us not to fire, the creature remained unmoving on the ground and I let out a breathe of he could of died! John and Beckett's shadows met up infront of the well as that horrible ticking sound invaded my ears again. The creatures were coming. Sucking in a breathe I pushed down my fears, and instead narrowed my gaze determinedly at the well as the creatures began to emerge from the fog, John and Beckett had dissappeared while I wasn't looking and now I couldn't tell if any of those shadows were them or the creatures.

I began to panic, what if I accientaly shot one of them? It was a risk I had to take, we needed to get out of here. but John...I'd look for him after, and no one would stop me until I found him. Determination welled up inside me as the C4 exploded, there was a call from teldy to open fire, and I did, I rained hell on those evil little shits down there. Watching them fall one by on. The gunfire was echoing as it richocheted off of the walls of the abnadoned buildings, terrible screeching noises came from the creatures as they fell. The fog began to clear as we took more of them down until nothing ubt a fine mist hung in the air, finally, I could see again. The floor was littered with the creatures bodies. We looked up, me and Mehra to see Teldy and Porter give us a nod. They were okay, we were to regroup in the middle of the square by the well. On our way there, we counted up the bodies,  
"I've got five bodies." I reported.  
"We have four." Porter replied.  
"So that's nine here in total, plus the three we already killed." Mehra said counting on her fingers.  
"We've got all twelve of them." Teldy said, her voice saturated with relief. But there was a frown on my face, I had to find John now. I wasn't leavin this planet without him.  
"Sheppard! Beckett!" I called, my voice echoing through the empty village.

Teldy and the others caught on and began to call them too, we split up and began to search, I stayed close to the square, my anxiety beginning to make me feel nauseous. Bile rose in the back of my throat. "Sheppard! Beckett where are you!"  
"Here! James down here!" John called back, his voice was distant, echoey. Frowning I moved closer to the well and peered over the edge, through the darkness, shining my p-90's now working torch down there. "James get that light outta my eyes!" John yelled. Sighing with relief I laughed weakly, bracing my hands on the egde of the well I felt the weight in my stomach lift, we were okay, we were all going to be fine. John was safe. Bouncing slightly on the balls of my feet I called out to the others,  
"I found them! I found them they're okay! They're okay!" even I could hear the joy in my voice but I was feeling to happy to care about whether or not it sounded pathetic. Teldy, Mehra and Porter ran over and Teldy glanced down to see John squinting up at her, his hand shieding his eyes from the bright torch light.  
"Hold on colonel, we'll get you out of there!" Teldy called down.  
"No! Can you get down here?" John replied immediately. Teldy frowned slightly but I looked through Porters back pack and nodded. There was climbing gear in here.  
"Yeah we can." I responded.  
"Good then get down here, we'll use the tunnels to get back to Michael's lab, Beckett has some information he wants to download before we go home." John said in his no nonesense leadr voice again.

Between us, me and Teldy worked together to secure the hooks and rope, slowly lowering down Porter and Mehra.  
"Go on, I can lower you down." I offered. Teldy nodded, muttered a quick thanks as I braced my feet to keep my balance and lowered her furthur down until she tugged the rope once to let me know she'd hit the bottom. God I hated wells. I'd been putting it off but now I had no choice but to go down there. Attaching myself to the rope I slowly climbed into the well, placing my feet firmly against the wall I let out a slow breathe and absailed to the bottom through the darkness. My feet hit the floor and I quickly detached myself and switched on my torch light. John shot me a small smile before he turned around and lead the way through the tunnels. The walk was silent, but definitely shorer compared to trekking through the forest. That uneasy weight settled in my stomach again though the closer we got to Michael's lab. Mehra and Porter were waiting outside and I was tempted to join them but after seeing John's track record of keeping safe, I decided to go in with them. Beckett headed straight to the computer terminal and I stayed behind him as John and Teldy went to explore some more. "Good to see you again Beckett, how are you?" I asked keeping ym voice quiet so he could concentrate on his work. Beckett nodded with a small smile,  
"Aye lass, I'm fine, better now we're all going home. How about you?" he returned the question with a scrutinising look that I knew would see straight through me if I lied.

So instead I just shrugged and played it down.  
"I'm okay. Just really want to go home, have a relaxing shower I guess, this whole day's been stressful." Beckett chuckled under his breathe and hummed in agreement as a chill swept over my spine, and made it tingle. Looking around I saw fog beginning to creep out of the open doorway, no John in seeped through my skin, icy terror sluggishly dripped through my veins as I stumbled towards the door, gunfire errupted just as I entered and I could see John and Teldy slowly backing up the corridor, an army of those creatures were heading towards us and I quickly stepped forward, John was reloading, Teldy was almost out. I on the other hand had a full magazine and was ready to use it. "Laying down cover fire, get your arse's back!" I shouted my voice echoing through the halls. John and Teldy ducked, not second guessing me and sprinted towards me as I fired non-stop down the hallway taking a few of the creatures down with a hail of bullets. John and Teldy stood by me near the doorand began to fire as I reloaded. Just as suddenly as it had begun, it ended. No more fog, no more creatures. Breathing hard thanks to the adrenaline pulsing through me I slowly lowered my weapon and looked at John, Teldy went to check on the others as our eyes locked on each other.

Those brown eyes were searching mine, raking up and down my body before settling back on my face, the only sound we made was coming from our heavy breathing, ym heart was beating loudly in my ears as I took in all of John. His muscles were slowly relaxing from the tense posture they had been in. Not caring who was watching, I pulled him into a tight hug. His body was warm against mine, his hot breathe heating my hair as his strong arms wrapped back around me and squeezed me tightly. There was that apple scent again, bombarding my sense of smell, comforting me. John's chest pushed against mine as he breathed and I sighed, content for now. John was alive, he was okay.  
"You okay?" he asked his voice barely more audiable than a breathe of air. Looking up at him I nodded,  
"Yes...I'm okay. You and your bloody missions. You have no idea how to stay out of trouble do you?" I demanded, frustration in my voice. He smirked,  
"Maybe I just enjoy having you save me." he suggested, before sauntering out of the tunnel as if he was god's gift to the earth. A small smile graced my lips, too me, he was certainly a gift. Wait what? My eyes widened slightly. No no no, I promised myself this would never happen, I swore I'd never go down that road, I'd never get hurt that way again. I couldn't be in love with John Sheppard. I just couldn't be.

But I was.


	12. The Start of Something

**_Authors Note: This chapter might be a bit of a filler but it's full of John/Tegan moments. _**

* * *

Third Person's Point Of View:  
She'd been up for a while now, restless and unable to sleep. The mission with Teldy's team a few weeks back still played on her mind in the creatures were back again and were slowly praying on everyone she loved, one by one, limb by limb they'd fall in her dreams. Not even John had been able to save himself. It was a disturbing nightmare that had once again awoken her much to early from her sleep. So now Tegan James stood in the training room, already warmed up from her morning jog before she hit the punch bag to get rid of some of her excess energy. A frown wrinkled her features as her thoughts raced a million miles a minute. Joh Sheppard and his cocky flyboy attitude constantly crossed her mind and she was struggling to focus on much else. Though she tried to convince herself otherwise Tegan's mind was clearly made up on the matter, though her head was telling her it was wildly inappropriate (not to mention not allowed in her military career) her heart was nagging at her to ensnare John. He had gotten under her skin and was stubbornly refusing to be pushed from her mind.

Little did she know, that three hallways down and on his way to the gym was the man himself. John Sheppard liked being an early riser, he liked watching the sunrise over the city as he ran around, he liked to be one of the first in the gym because there was no one there to interrupt him and there was no one there to gawk. He was quite aware of what his good looks and charming mannerdid to some of the female officers on base, and he certainly wasn't desperate enough to contemplate being in their company. Upon his arrival to the gym she sprung to the front of his thoughts, the Tegan in his head smirked slightly and he wanted to sigh. She just wouldn't leave him alone. Day and night he found her in his head, making him think, stirring up feelings he certainly didn't want to feel knowing full well that they couldn't be allowed. Stirring up feelings he didn't want to feel again after the collapse of his first marriage, feelings he couldn't keep away despite his best efforts. The problem was that unknown to the pair of them, the feelings were mutual. They were like magnets, both of them attracted to the other, understanding each other without words and moving together to make sure they were never far apart and could jump in quickly to aid each other should one of them need it.

Setting his gym bag down, John Sheppard looked up to see the one woman he had dreaded to see. It was bad enough she had invaded his head, never mind that he had to see her in the daytime and try to ignore her stunning beauty that had him thoroughly enraptured from the moment he had laid eyes on her. There was no denying it for either of them, they were in love, they just refused to accept 's breathe caught in his throat and he had to swallow hard as the temperature in the room sky rocketed. Tegan was very aware of his persence behind her thanks to being so alert and high strung but payed him no mind as she danced around the bag, throwing hard punches into the material as it swung back and forth. She tried to keep him out of her head. John however had no such luck as he observed her from the back. He watched the muscles in her arms and legs tighten and ripple with every hit, she never stopped moving for a moment, bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet. The dull thuds of fists hitting the bag was the only sound that filled the room. John just couldn't move his eyes.

Tracking them up her body her took in all of her slender legs, slim waist and athletic arms. All of her willowy frame was perfectly proportioned to her curves that bounced slightly with each movement but were firm enough to not move far. Her slim figure was clad in only some tatty old nikes and a black tanktop, matching her black leggings pefectly. Her hair was hanging in wisps about her head, some of it stuck to the back of her neck, damp with sweat as a few beads dribbled down her arms and made her face shine. Looking up at him she blinked her eyes at him in a doe like way and John snapped himself to the present.  
"Great er...great technique." he said lamely, feeling the need to break the silence. Tegan raised a dark brown and inclined her head towards the matts,  
"Thanks...wanna spar?" she asked.

Tegan thought that perhaps if she beat his ass then maybe she'd stop feeling the way she did. John didn't look too much different from normal to her, his toned body hidden under a baggy black shirt and jogging bottoms, he moved with a grace that reminded her of a hunter, he was silent but deadly as he set his waterbottle down nearby and met her on the matts, both of them taking off their shoes. Raising tanned arms into a blocking position he shot her his signaure smirk, and Tegan cursed the way he made her heart flutter with the simple action. His brown eyes were warm, inviting her to take the first touseled black hair shimmered as he moved in the sunlight, circling each other. Tegan forced herself to focus and launched her attack. Her left hook almost caught his chin and John moved back, tutting slightly and putting on his cocky smirk again to mask his true emotions.  
"Now now lieutenant, don't wanna go around damaging your CO would we?" John quipped. Tegan felt her cheeks flush as an irrational irritation swept over her. huffing she let out a string of fast paced attacks, her leg smashing into his side and making him stumble to the right.

"I'll damage something Sheppard, you're pride'll be in tatters by the time you leave." Tegan promised. John just smirked ever so slightly and threw her a right jab, she caught his arm and threw it back at him, dancing out of the way as he went to swing his leg up. She swung a hard left hook but John moved to the left and met her halfway, grabbing her arma nd twisting it behind her back, pulling her back against his chest and holding her in place with her arms pinned behind her body. Tegan writhed in his grip but John just chuckled lowly,  
"Sparring with Ronon teaches you a few things." he muttered and his warm breathe hit the back of her neck making Tegan shiver. She thrashed harder in his grip.  
"Oh shut up Sheppard." she growled under her breathe.  
"Temper temper James, maybe try saying please." he shot back teasingly. More irrational anger swept through her. How could he pretend everything ws back to normal when he had ignored her just a few weeks ago, when she had tried her best to distance herself from him only last week also?

Dropping to her knees Tegan went to gambowl forward but instead pushed her feet back hard against his chest, kicking him away from her easily as she got up and tackled him to the ground, John could see the glint of anger in her eyes as she effectively pinned him place with her knee in the crook of his elbow, her other leg stretched out across his chest to keep his wrist down and her hands ushing down on his shoulders. "Why'd you look so pissed for?" he asked bluntly. Tegan just rolled her eyes. What was it about this man that had him looking so good? That made her want him even more? She couldn't have him, she **didn't **want him. At least, that's what she was trying to convince herself. But her thoughts were quickly derailed when he flipped them over, straddling her hips and pinning her wrists above her head. Tegan thrashed but couldn't get him off and feeling her squirming underneath him made John's whole body tingle as he forced the unmentionable thoughts away. Of course, pushing the thoughts away didn't keep them away for good and the tension in the air was quickly escalating into something more.

"I'll ask you again lieutenant, why so angry all of a sudden?" his voice came out huskier than intended and he mentally cursed himself for it. Tegan sucked in a sharp breathe as her whole body got a jolt of electricity shot through it. John was leaning over her, scrutinising her carefully as she let out a single gasp of impatience. She needed to get out from under him before shedid something she'd really regret.  
"Just life colonel now please, if you'd unpin me that would be great." her voice was straind, two octives too high. John merely raised an eyebrow at her in response, clearly not believing that, how could she expect him too? He was more observant than that, more perceptive. "Please." she tried weakly but her voice tapered off to a whisper. John hadn't realised the words had left his lips until they had,  
"Is this why you've been distnacing yourself? You're made with me?" he questioned with an adorable confused look on his face as his head tilted to the left.

Tegan groaned.  
"Just get off of me John!" she demanded.  
"Not until you spill it." he countered. He felt her suirm underneath him again and swallowed hard, there it was, the change int he atmosphere was noted. The tension had just turned into sexual tension and was rapidly increasing everytime she wriggled in an attempt to free herself. "Stop that." he growled narrowing his gaze on her. In a last desperate attempt to free herself Tegan tried co-operating.  
"Okay okay! Maybe! But that's my buisness not yours." she snapped. John rolled his eyes,  
"The whole point of being a team is so you don't have to have personal buisness to go through alone." he pointed out. Tegan just huffed and John grit his teeth slightly, he'd definitely need a cold shower after this. Tegan gave him a heated glare, and John shot one back, his brown eyes boring straight through hers. She was so vulnerabe like this and John realised she didn't like it, she didn't like being vulnerable. Letting go of her wrists he slowly moved back and she sat up too fast, not realising that he hadn't moved back to far yet.

Tegan's idea had been to simple wriggle from under him when he relinquished his grip on her but istead, she smacked straight into his chest and was almost sent back to the floor until strong arms wrapped around her upperarms, warm hands bracing her back and holding her steady. Tegan couldn't breathe, he was so close and John knew it. "So...that personal stuff...can I help?" he asked his voice little more than a fragile whisper in an echoing silence. Tegan's heart hammered wildly in her chest.  
"I er... no it's just...er..." she couldn't form the words, her mouth was incredibly dry and the words were stuck like a ball in her throat. John's eyes searched her face, her distinguished features made her a pretty sight to look at.  
"Just what?" he pressed, his breathe hitting her lips. John wanted so badly to close the distance, but he couldn't, he wouldn't...he didn't have the strength to stop himself.  
"Just..." she tapered off unsure of what to say.  
"Just shut up." he grumbled pressing his lips against hers in a soft kiss. Tegan was shocked, every nerve in her body was on fire and her brain had completly shut down, but she couldn't stop herself from letting ehr eyes flutter close to enjoy the moment.

John felt her respond and wrapped his arms around her a little more, pressing her closer to him as his brain screamed at him to stop it, it wasn't professional! It went against the fratenization rules on so many levels! It...It was just so good. It had been a while since either of them had indulged in a kiss. Their lives jsut hadn't allowed time for it. But now...neither of them could imagine anyones lips would mould better to theirs than John's did to Tegans or vice versa. She let out a soft sigh, moving her legs from under him to wrap them around his waist and pull him closer. Neither of them were quite sure how it happened. Actually, neither was Ronon who was supposed to meet John in the gym at nine that morning. When Ronon walked in, he found the pair in a rather comprimising position. After everything John had told him Ronon was pretty sure that what he was seeing was most certainly not allowed, and felt the need to step in and say something to save John from himself. He wasn't too sure that someone as stoic as Tegan, someone so unwilling to display their emotions would make a good companion for his friend and he wanted to make sure John Sheppard definitely had his head screwed on right.

John was on his back on the floor, Tegan ontop of him, a leg either side of his hips as they passionately embraced one another, the kiss was deep and Ronon was convinced that they if they kissed each other any harder they'd start bleeding. John's hand skimmed down her side, brushing the skin that was exposd on her waist where her t-shirt had rode up. Ronon cleared his throat, leaning against the doorway and crossing his arms over his chest, his face blank of any emotion or expression. Tegan and John shot apart faster than bullets speed from the barrell of a gun. Both of them stood at least a foot away from each other, looking awkward and slightly stunned at what they had done.  
"I er...I erm we...Ronon we that...I mean I...see you later." Tegan said quickly, dashing from the room with her bag slung over her shoulder. Ronon raised an eyebrow at John who was looking sheepish.  
"Do you know what you're doing?" Ronon asked gruffly. John ran a hand through his hair and pursed his lips,  
"No." he replied honestly. Ronon nodded with a sarcastic smirk.  
"Good enough for me, lets spar." he strode into the room and without furthur delay, began attacking John so fast that John barely had time to think of anything else other than blocking his heavy hands.

That was the beginning of an incredibly awkward silence between John Sheppard and Tegan James that would stretch on for a while.


End file.
