Glee 1. Chapter 1

A/N: I wanted to write a Kurt trans fic, seeing as how I have not really read any and it seems logical to me, but I was writing it with a Klaine coupling and it was set at Dalton. Essentially I just had a lot of trouble with it and it didn't feel right to me. I recently started over and with a PucKurt pairing which I have also really loved. This time around I have been feeling it a lot more and I have a lot of it planned out so hopefully this one will stick. This is one of my first attempts a published fic writing so I would apprechiate feedback. Hope you all enjoy. I am having a great time writing it. Hopefully I'll have update around once a week or more if people really take to it. Thanks all!

P.S. The middle section from Kurts point of view may be reworked a bit just in narration. I went back and forth between using names or typical he/his pronouns and I like using their names to narrate for Burt and Puck so I'll probably use the same format with Kurt too. Just a small note but it deosn't change the story at all. If anyone has an opinion on it feel free to tell me what you felt while reading.

Burt

Ask any parent and they will surely tell you that the stress of raising a kid is hard for anyone. However, the stress of raising a kid on your own when you only understand him half of the time, if you're lucky, is heart wrenching. There are times, especially lately, when Burt thinks that he can literally feel a vice squeezing the organ in his chest so hard that it might explode with the pressure of doing right by his child. It's not for a lack of trying but Burt hasn't been able to understand his kid for years. Sometimes he will just watch Kurt push around food on his plate while they eat dinner at the living room table, and watch whatever musical Kurt decides on for the night. The fear of letting his kid down he goes through in those moments are worse than any nightmare he has ever had.

It wasn't always that way though. When Kurt's mother was alive she would explain everything to him as if he were the most clueless man on the face of the earth and he would get so frustrated with her for it. She would explain to him the benefits of letting Kurt wear her heels if it made him smile. She would sing along with him when he belted out songs on the playground as the other kids stared so that he never had to feel alone and she would tell Burt that being able to face adversity was something they should be proud of their kid for. She would hold Kurt while he cried about being teased as Burt watched with clenched fists. After Kurt was fast asleep, she would explain that sometimes words weren't what he would need with his son but simply to let Kurt know that he was there and that he loved him. It was in those moments that he though she was trying to teach him as if she knew she wasn't always going to be there. Now with her gone, he is positive that she was right all along about exactly one thing: that he is clueless.

Burt loves his kid more than anything else in the world and would do anything to fight for his safety and happiness, but the more time passes the less he knows what makes Kurt happy. He can't keep up with Kurt and his appetite for fashion or musicals. No matter how hard he tries he can't understand half of the things that bring a smile to his son's face. That leaves him, then, focusing on keeping Kurt safe, which has become a lot more complicated lately. After his mom died, keeping him safe meant simply holding him close and making him feel loved and protected. But now, it is impossible to ignore the way Kurt flinches at the slightest touch, or winces when he sits down. And Burt may be clueless but he isn't blind, and he can see that Kurt is having a hard time at school. The look of exhaustion painting Kurt's face when Burt gets home from work every day is enough to tell him that, without the obvious physical pain to accompany it. Then, there are the phone calls. He doesn't tell Kurt about them anymore. The first one got him upset enough to throw a competition, but it isn't like they suddenly stopped. It was then that Burt thought maybe keeping him safe was about hiding some things from him and letting Kurt enjoy what he could, since it was obvious that joy was becoming harder and harder to come by in the Hummel house.

The only time he sees Kurt happy now is when he talks about getting out of this town. As much as the thought of his kid thousands of miles away makes Burt sad, if that's what Kurt needs, then he is more than happy to let him ramble on about his plans for the future. These plans are so detailed it's almost like Kurt has created a fantasy world in which to live. He has apartment locations scouted. He knows the views he will see from his window of the New York skyline. He talks with enthusiasm about color schemes and lavish parties with other people like him. When Kurt goes on and on about the wonderful life awaiting him in the world beyond Lima, Burt feels bad for wanting to hold him back. He is torn between wanting to just hold Kurt close again to make him feel loved and protected once more, or setting him free to explore the diversity of the world by himself and relish in the sights and sounds of not being held down.

Of course, there are the other times he has seen Kurt happy– times when Kurt doesn't even realize that Burt is watching. The first time it was an accident. He was going to call Kurt up for dinner and he hadn't knocked before he started to walk down the steps. Kurt had his music loud enough to mask the noise of his feet on the steps. The sight of Kurt in a skirt left Burt frozen and even more fearful than ever before. The look of pride on Kurt's face couldn't be missed. It was like he had never felt better about himself. His lips curled high in pure delight and his eyes literally glowing with something that looked like anticipation. The air around Kurt was even electrifying to watch. It was as if his kid was suddenly set free of the chains that typically wore him down. No more thoughts about insults and epithets. In that mirror he only saw possibility and promise. Those were the moments that Burt knew he had to let Kurt go, because Lima would beat any possibility, as well as the life, out of a boy in a skirt.

After Kurt's mom had died, Burt did some research, figuring that since he didn't have someone to explain everything to him anymore, he should put in some extra effort. His Google searches turned up a whole lot of information that he wasn't prepared for. Some videos he wished he had never clicked on. He loved his kid but there were some things he didn't need to see or even knew happened in theory but most definitely not when he was thinking about his kid. Burt searches for information on what to do when your teenage son is wearing women's clothes and that is the first time he is hit with the word "transgender." He sits staring at the screen wishing over and over, "Not my son, not my son." Burt will take Kurt however he can get him because, after all, they are talking about his child, but the idea of something even more difficult for Kurt to deal with fills his eyes with tears. It is as if the world is hell bent on adding to the suffering of his kid with each passing day. He vows then and there to love his kid no matter what, and to never stop fighting for his happiness and safety. Burt is so intent on giving his kid the best life that he can at all costs that it isn't until he wakes up in a hospital bed with Kurt's fingers clutching his that he realizes just how badly it was all getting to him, and how close he came to really leaving his kid alone and helpless in this cruel world.

Puck

As Puck stared at the ceiling above him he wondered just how things had gotten this screwed up. OK, so no one was really going to be surprised by him getting thrown in the slammer. That was kind of part of being the resident bad boy in the small town of Lima, Ohio. When he got back to school, everyone would talk in hushed tones behind his back about how crazy he was and how no one in their right mind would mess with him, but no one would say anything to his face for fear of getting their ass kicked. The halls would be filled with people whispering about him while staring.

There are many words that can be used to describe the Puckasaurus. Puck is a bad ass. Puck is a jock. Puck is a singer and a fucking good one too. Puck is a ladies man (womanizer, depending on who you asked). Puck is many things, and for as long as he could remember, he was fine with it all. He enjoyed the looks of fear that he got from the nerds. He got off on the way the girls at school would fall at his feet pretty much. It was as if he were some kind of high school god that they all bowed down to. Sure he had his favorites; Santana being the most recent and long lasting, but it wasn't like there was any lack of ass for his taking. He loved that, as much as everyone thought he was a screw up, when there was a serious problem, he was often the one to step up and make things happen. When the glee club needed money, he was the one to find a way to get the cash. When that Jesse dude egged Rachel, as classic as that could have been, he was right there to step up and lead the charge against the punk in Vocal Adrenaline. No one messes with Puck's territory. When all was said and done, Puck knew that he was about as high on the food chain as one could get in high school. So then why the hell was he finding himself more bored than anything else lately? Well the answer comes down to one thing really.

After the year he had been through with Quinn and Finn and… Beth... everything just seemed to be way too crazy now and it wasn't at all an enjoyable kind of crazy like it had been before. Something was missing. Not that Puck was all that against to being the lone alpha wolf at McKinley, but he was lonelier as the days went on. As much as he hated to admit it, he liked having other people around. Girls were good for sex, Finn was good to hang and play video games and shit. It was cool to feel like people wanted to be around. Finn didn't "get" him anymore. As much as they had been "brothers" for a long time, maybe he never did. Quinn certainly didn't understand him, and made it pretty clear that he obviously didn't get her at all. The way Quinn still refused to look at him and treated him as if this was his fault entirely actually killed him, even if he wouldn't admit it to anyone. His mother made it clear that she had no clue what was going on is his head. She also loved to point out that it was a feeling reminiscent of the way she felt about his father before he left. When it was all over he wound up losing his best friend and now was left with no one but Santana to talk to; and she didn't really do all that much talking when they were together, so he found himself texting her, or sexing as she would call it, less and less. And really, to top it all off, he couldn't get Beth out of his mind. Her being put up for adoption was constantly there, nagging at him and pushing his buttons. He felt like he left her, even if he had no choice in the matter. It left him feeling like his father; something entirely worse than everything else combined.

So basically the Puckasaurus was left staring at a fucking ugly ceiling surrounded by bars and for the first time being a badass wasn't so great. With everything going on, his reactions came as no surprise. Anger. Hostility. Mischief. All the usual party guests. It was just that for the first time he wasn't having fun being the king of his party. His typical party games weren't working. Instead they got him laying on an uncomfortable cot pulling at the threads of his worn tee shirt and actually thinking about school. Sure he hated classes but he has never realized how much he liked that place. That was just bad. But even more messed up was why he missed it. If his whole life really revolved around being able to throw around the kids lower than him on the flag pole then what the hell was he going to do in a year and a half when it was over? Maybe Quinn was right. He was destined to be just some Lima Loser. Puck turned off of his back to face the even crappier looking gray wall.

Ok, so stealing an ATM wasn't his fucking brightest idea ever. It's not like he needed the money, since he lived at home and, as much as she would never shut up about being disappointed in him, his mother keeps the house stocked with whatever he and his sister could need. It wasn't even about the money, really. He was walking down the street, passing store after store, when he passed the window display of a crib and baby clothes and blankets and a rocking chair that made him just want to wreck the world. He made it another ten feet to an ATM just outside of a convenience store. After he had knocked it over and broken it beyond function, he just decided to drag it to the alley down the street and stash it there, which would've been a great plan… except that was when the police rolled up and got in his face. He didn't bother to deny anything they accused him of. What was the point anyway? Tall, Muscled, letterman jacket, and sporting a sick hawk on his head. Yeah and the cops are _totally _going to buy what he's selling. No Way. He just kept his mouth shut and his hands behind his back, like they said.

Lima wasn't exactly a filled with criminals, so the local juvie lock up consisted of half a dozen kids who were more like candidates for an episode of "Scared Straight" than actual, menacing whack jobs. One kid barely stopped sobbing long enough to blurt out his name. Even in juvie, Puck was king of the castle. None of the kids messed with his tough exterior and his take no prisoners smirk. He kept to himself for the week he was there and spent the long nights doing exactly what he was doing now; staring around his cell and wondering how much longer he could go on feeling like this once he got out.

Sure, everyone expected him to be a Lima Loser for life. That was obvious. His teachers didn't push him to work hard. His mom had all but given up on expecting anything of him. Women didn't find him appealing for anything other than sex. God, even Santana had broken up with him over his credit score. What was that bull shit? Well, if the world at large wrote him off as a no good punk who would amount to nothing, it was all up to him to start holding himself responsible for shit. Problem was, as much as he would never admit it to anyone else, he was scared. Even if Santana was only there to sleep with him, at least he wasn't alone. At least there was a warm body around every now and then to make him feel like there was someone there who would miss him if he were gone. Maybe it was about time, then, that Puck found someone who actually understood him. Someone who needed him and accepted him for exactly who he was, and didn't write him off as a failure, or a screw up. That was the last thought to cross his mind before Puck's eyes finally closed. He drifted to sleep with a little grunt, wondering if such a person really existed.

Kurt

Kurt sat in glee lost in his thoughts. So many questions ran through his head almost constantly now. The least of which was the question, how this had become his life? Events as of late had left him feeling unfocussed and exhausted. He had spent his freshman year of high school finally finding a place to fit in. He had joined the glee club, and made a best friend in Mercedes. Tina would often talk fashion with him. Hell, even Quinn turned out to be not that much of a snob to him, once her status as head cheerio had been revoked and she was kicked off the team. He had developed and eventually gotten over his first crush, as tumultuous an experience as that was. It hadn't gone well at all seeing as how it ended with Finn getting kicked out of the house for calling him a faggot. Yea sure, last year had been quite the ride but everything being said and done, he finally had a group where he belonged.

All in all he had done a lot of growing in his first year of high school. However, with all of that growing taken into account there was still something that just didn't feel right as far as he was concerned. He had fought so hard to be out and proud as a gay man because that seemed to be what every sign pointed to. Finn was hardly the first person to call him a fag. It was really more of an everyday term for the masses to sling at him. So he knew very well what others thought of his identity. But the more that he thought about it himself and took into account his situation the more he noticed that he was getting tired of standing out so much. Well, maybe not tired of standing out in general. He was certainly willing to be gawked at for his impeccable fashion sense and cutting wit. Maybe it was just from being pushed around and tormented at school but he was finding that more than anything else he wanted to stop being defined as a freak or an outsider and he wanted to take on a definition that he could be proud of and feel comfortable with. He wanted to stop believing what other people were telling him. Why should anyone else get to dictate who he was, especially when they had never taken the time to get to know him before they condemned him? It wasn't like Karofsky or the other Neanderthals had even asked him anything remotely personal. They didn't care who he was as a person so much as they wanted to punish him for what they perceived him to be. He had long accepted the labels that had been put on him with every shove and locker slam. The only problem being, recently he was thinking more about what he actually wanted to be called, and he was finding that the more he explored who he was and what he wanted from life, what he really wanted more than anything was to be seen as was a girl.

Now he had been well versed by the adults in his life to take things slow. He had heard all of the reasons to leisurely enjoy his childhood and to cherish his high school days. Sure he was young. Sure he was a little naïve. Sure he was an extreme overachiever and perfectionist. Kurt Hummel was many things, which people have no problem using against him in an effort to tell him to wait before he wished to change his life. He could hear the words in his head. 'Why rush it?' Mr. Schue had told the glee club that before when they did things he deemed to old for them. His dad had used it on him when he would go off on tirades about New York and his future. Even though he knew his dad was only sad to hear him talk of leaving.

Well the short answer is because knowing who you are when you are young sucks. Especially when what you know is that you are different. It was no secret that he was into fashion and dressed to kill in all the latest avant-garde, and sure, sometimes gender bending fashions but it hardly stopped at knee length sweaters like most people thought. He has been hiding a collection of girl's underwear and bras, as well as a good deal of less revealing items in his closet for a couple of years now. It started as a nagging question about what silks must feel like against your bare skin and before he knew what was happening one pair of silk women's briefs turned into a whole separate wardrobe for his time alone in his basement. Luckily his dad gave him a lot of privacy.

Every now and then he felt like some monster being locked in a dungeon for fear of scaring the world outside, but it was worth it for the few moments he got to feel good about himself. Standing in front of that mirror and taking in his own reflection, when he could almost see the life that should have been his, was not something he was going to give up no matter how much people might think he looked like Frankenstein's bride. He had kept the secret to himself, pushing the boundaries as far as he could without breaking them wide open. Train sweaters and knee high riding boots could be argued as men's fashions. Maybe gay men's fashions, sure, but it's not like anyone was questioning that part of his life. He knew better than to go around dressed in skirts and bras and heels. Lima was a small town but it was big enough that people wouldn't mind counting him out of the population density.

The secret was getting harder and harder to hold in as time went on. At first there were excuses for why he was dressed in spandex and sequins singing Beyoncé. There was a reason to wear a dress to school if it was for a Gaga experiment. All excuses aside though, it was becoming increasingly more painful to lie to those around him when he knew the truth. Lately it felt like it was a hunger eating him up from inside. He had such a desire to let someone into his world of secrets. He needed someone to see him for who he saw when he stood in front of the mirror and made wishes on the movie stars adorning his walls in photographs. But the insatiable desire to spill his guts aside, he wasn't an idiot. He knew that telling someone would be the biggest risk he had ever taken. His dad was out of the question. There was no way he was adding to his stress level now that he was recovering from a heart attack. He could still see how the man he loved was weaker than he liked to let on. He struggled more in the shop, wincing as he had to lift heavier parts and taking more time overall to complete simple tasks. He wasn't back to his old self yet. It was his job to make sure that his father was healthy now. He couldn't neglect that anymore. His father was the one person he could count on for anything in the world. Unless it was for trusting that he would not die of another heart attack when he found out his little boy wanted to be his little girl instead. Mercedes was his best friend but was also one of the biggest gossips at school. Rachel would probably see it as a new way for him to try and steal her solos. Finn wouldn't even understand what he was saying. So there weren't a lot of options for him even if he was stupid enough to tell someone.

Luckily having already presented his song for the day, he felt relieved when he came out of his daydreams to find people leaving for the day. Glee was over and he had zoned out for the last half hour. As he grabbed his books and threw his messenger bag over his shoulder he sauntered out to his locker. The halls were much quieter this time of day and he was thankful as he was already starting to develop a tension headache that pulled his immaculate brows together. Stopping in front of the row of small metal doors he began to twist his combination and pull open his locker to put away his books for the day and grab his jacket. He had closed his door with a small exhalation of breath that spoke of how tired he was, and when the metal door finally clanged shut there was a face behind it. Darkened eyes stared back at him in a mix or anger and something else. Something that was foreign and possibly more threatening than the hostility that was obvious. He took a step back to physically distance himself from the emotions written on the bully's face.

"What do you want Karofsky?" He almost squeaked out. He hated himself for letting this blatant fear show but he was so tired he couldn't keep it in check.

"I just wanted to come say goodbye to my favorite fairy." The other boy spat out with a mock sweetness. "I know how sad you must be that you won't get to check out my ass again until tomorrow so I figured I should drop by to see you off for the day. Give you something to get off to tonight."

Karofsky's hands wound into his shirt and he shoved until Kurt flew back into the row of lockers behind him, the metal grating on the door digging into the never fading series of bruises already on his back.

"You know, Karofsky, for someone who hates gays, you sure spend and awful lot of time thinking about what I do at night." Kurt shouted as something broke inside of him. He wasn't holding back now.

Kurt was almost shocked at his own bravery. He was so spent that he couldn't even bare to think about the words that flew from his mouth. By the time he got over the shock of his own words there were only milliseconds left to see the fist already being swung into his stomach. The force of Karofsky's blow lifted Kurt off the ground. His eyes were watering and throat closing around the sick threatening to escape as Kurt fought for air. He slid down the cold metal of the lockers and he fell to the ground clawing for support. Karofsky had stepped back to admire his work. Over the ringing in his ears Kurt could hear Karofsky speak.

"You had better watch your mouth fag. Don't go using that mouth of yours to accuse the normal people around here of your freakishness unless you want your jaw shattered. That'll be where I aim next time."

With that Karofsky turned on his heel and stalked out of the hallway. Kurt could do nothing but half lay on the floor praying for the pain to ease. He didn't know how long he lay there, holding in groans and blocking out the world behind closed eye lids, before he felt a touch. His eyes snapped open almost expecting to see Karofsky having returned to finish the job. Instead it was Puck. Before Kurt could even take in the look of concern on the boys face, he immediately assumed that Puck was there to kick him when he was down so to speak. Sure the dumpster tosses, the shoulder checks, and the slushies from Puck had stopped but it wasn't as if there was ever an apology or a promise to never do it again. It wasn't until he felt a warm, strong arm wind around his waist that he realized Puck was asking if he was alright.

"Fine. Never Better." Kurt half groaned out at the pressure on his bruised back. Then he looked up to meet Puck's caring, worried brown eyes and he lost it. Tears built up and began to overflow from his eyes. His throat closed again but this time with a lump of emotion and all of the words he had kept inside. He had never told anyone about how hard this all was. He had never complained to teachers or asked friends for help. The way Mr. Schue dismissed every idea or concern he had was proof enough about how much assistance he could ask for. He had certainly never told his dad about the incessant torture and physical abuse. He had kept it all bottled so deep inside that he wasn't even aware that the hurt was so overwhelming until it was spilling out.

Kurt turned out of Puck's grasp and put a hand up on the wall for support as he half collapsed back into himself. His other arm wound around his own middle, fist clutching in his shirt and trying, without even the hope of success, to keep at bay any more emotion from spilling out. He expected Puck to walk away, to run as soon as he could from the crazy display in front of him. Instead Kurt felt a warm hand on his back. It was gentler than he would expect Puck knew how to be. It was also not something he was used to. Sure, Mercedes would sometime latch arms with him as they walked, Rachel had hugged him once or twice, and recently with his dad being sick people in glee had shown more care when he was considered but this was a guy openly touching him. This was a masculine, large, unwavering hand on his body. It was warm through the layers on his back, and it was a new enough sensation that it sent shivers throughout his body. It wasn't something Kurt was used to and the immediate need for it to never go away brought with it a sense of fear for how much he really desired it.

"Take your time Hummel. No one is here, dude. It's just you and me so… take a minute and let it out."

Puck's voice was soft and yet firm. It had a deep quality to it almost like the boy knew what he was going through even if he had never been picked on a day in his life. It made Kurt so conflicted between the resentment he felt, and the desire to let the words curl around him and smooth out all of the rough edges. After a couple of minutes Kurt gave in to his need for comfort. He let that hand on his back absorb as much of the pain as it could. He let it leech the doubt from his body and finally he felt his shoulders go down. His breathing steadied as his lungs readjusted to the access to oxygen. Finally the tears relented and he was able to compose himself enough to face the boy who had his back, literally. When Kurt turned Puck was still eying him with care and confusion.

"What happened, man?" Puck's voice was quiet and calm with a little hint of anticipation like he cared about Kurt's answer.

"Karofsky." There was a pause and Kurt felt the question building in his throat and then clawing over his tongue. "You care."

Kurt heard the words come out of his mouth. He was just as shocked as Puck, by the look on the other boy's face, to hear that when the words finally crept out they weren't a question.

Puck laughed. It was a silly, childish, free laugh that brought Kurt down with it. Before either could speak one more word, they were both reduced to giggling idiots. Kurt held his stomach again from pain but this time it was a good pain. As they rode out the waves of their surprise Puck's hand once again came into contact with Kurt's body. His hand on Kurt's shoulder pulled them both slowly back. It was an anchor for the both of them as they made their way back to the reality, and the fact that they were standing in the hallways at McKinley High. Puck glanced around them, which Kurt took to mean that he was nervous of someone seeing him toughing the gay kid, and yet he never moved even a finger. When his eyes came back to Kurt there was a smile on his face.

"C'mon. Let's go get you cleaned up and I'll give you a lift home."

Sure Kurt had his truck and he was perfectly capable of driving himself but there was something authoritative about Puck's tone. It was protective and firm and comforting. Kurt couldn't argue with that at all and, on the contrary, he was willing to do whatever it took to keep those feelings in Puck's voice all the time. As Puck led him towards the bathroom he laid his arm across Kurt's shoulders and gave a squeezed.

Puck

Being out of juvie was great but being back at school was about as bad as he had imagined. Puck had spent so much time worrying about his newfound search for someone who 'got' him that he had totally blocked out the fact that he would have to spend time with people that still didn't. By the time the day was over he was sure that every person he knew had looked at him with some kind of judgment. Santana looked at him like sex was the last thing on her mind due to his royal pathetic-ness. Finn just had his usual confused 'I don't understand you anymore' face on. Fuck, the sight of that guy made him want to punch something so much that Puck wondered how they had ever been best friends to begin with. Quinn looked at him with satisfaction and hatred at the same time. It was as if she was patting herself on the back for getting rid of Puck while she could. It all just made him sick. Sure he screwed up sometimes. Hell, sometimes he _really_ screwed up but it wasn't like any of them were without any past mistakes either. How dare the give the Puckasaurus any looks of disapproval.

By the time glee came around Puck was completely fed up. He walked to the top row of chairs and sat in the corner away from any judgmental eyes. He was determined to keep his 'I don't give a fuck what you think' attitude. Puck was so busy trying to ignore everyone that he actual felt like he was a good student, with the amount of focus he had on each performer. The theme this week was apparently uplifting people though song; another brilliant Schue idea. At least he had moved on from one word lessons. Puck had heard them all talking about last week with Kurt's Dad and how depressed everyone was while he was in juvie. He guessed Mr. Schuester must have decided to use this week's assignment to try and cheer them all up. The numbers were good, mostly. Rachel did what Puck could only assume was a Broadway number since he didn't know it and she acted it out as if it were supposed to tell some crazy story. Finn did some song Puck had never heard of called "Happy Together" which he said was about how he felt about the glee club. Loser. All of the numbers were equally as happy and equally as stupid. Not only that but most people were singing to Kurt, as if he was paying any attention. He had gone after Rachel, singing "Here Comes the Sun." It was a good song and his voice sounded like usual, which meant it sounded high but nice. It was obvious he wasn't over his Dad's heart thing. He sounded like he wished the words of the song were true but that he couldn't believe them yet. It was sad, and Puck could actually relate a little bit. After he was done, Kurt just sat in the front row with a far off look on his face. He imagined that was how he looked when his mom yelled at him to do stuff when a football game was on. He barely even noticed anyone else's performance after that.

Finally when Schue had let them go for the day Puck felt free. He almost made it out the door before Schue called him over to talk while everyone else left. He had some stupid stuff to say about how he hoped Puck would put his anger into song instead of acting out. How he knew Puck was a good guy and he had just been through some tough times but that he had to find better ways of coping. Schue was funny how he tried to pretend like he had all the answers. He was obviously just as messed up as any of them were. I mean, come on, the guy had bought that his wife was pregnant for how long before he found out she was lying? He was like the grown up Finn. By the time Schue finally let him go he just wanted to jet. When he was walking to the parking lot he heard what sounded like whimpering from the hall behind him. He turned the corner to see what it was and he was surprised to find Kurt lying on the ground. Hummel wasn't obviously crying or anything but it was obvious he was in pain. Puck walked over because, well, only an ass would run when they could see the guy right there, and the Puckster was doing his best to not be complete ass anymore; just a Badass. Kurt didn't seem to notice him in any way. His eyes were closed in pain or fear or something. When Puck leaned down and tapped him on the arm Kurt's eyes shot open and he shook like someone was going to hit him. When he saw Puck he didn't relax. He still looked pretty rattled. Did he really think that he was gonna kick the kid while he was down? Come on. It kind of pissed him off that even after he had stopped harassing the guy he still thought the worst of him.

Puck bent down to help him up and Kurt went willingly. Kurt almost clung to his arm like it was a lifeline. The guy must have been really hurt. He definitely looked to be in a lot of pain and he winced even as he held onto Puck's arm. When Puck finally asked how he was doing Kurt made some funny but sick noise and he said "Fine. Never better."

Even when he was down, Hummel was still all about the defense mechanism. This kid was tough. But when Kurt finally looked up and met Puck's gaze he tensed. His eyes were the first sign as they welled up and then he gasped in for breath. Suddenly he had turned out of Puck's arms and was trying to hold himself up against the wall. Even though he was now facing away from the guy, it was obvious Kurt was freaking out. His shoulders were clenched and shaking. He was literally holding himself together with and arm around is own waist. The guy was a mess and getting worse by the second. Puck did what was the only thing he could think of. He didn't know how to help but he figured that it would be nice to know someone was there right? I mean that was basically all Puck had wanted recently; someone to be there and just try to understand him.

When he finally put a hand on Kurt's back and said some stuff to get him to calm down, it was just something to let him know he wasn't going anywhere. After a minute though, he could see that the hand was having an effect on Hummel. His shoulders began to go down and his breathing evened out. Eventually the sobs stopped all together. He still had no clue what led to the guy being on the ground in the hallway but at least he was coming around again. When Kurt finally turned back to face Puck he was a lot more composed. The tears had dried on his face and, other than the red eyes and odd looking color in his face, he looked a lot better. He looked more relaxed now that it was out of his system, as if he had been holding that in for a while. Puck thought with a grin that at least he didn't try and beat up an ATM and get thrown in the lock up.

When Kurt had steadied a bit Puck saw his chance to get some answers. He didn't want to scare the kid again but for some reason he wanted to something. He couldn't help himself but Puck might actually be able to help make Kurt feel better so it was worth a shot. Puck ventured a "What Happened?"

"Karofsky," Kurt said as if it was the most obvious thing ever. Maybe Puck never really noticed how bad it had gotten but he really didn't get the way the guy almost said _duh_ after the name. Then Kurt's eyes got funny again. It was like he was stuck between wanting to cry again and thinking too hard that it hurt. What came out were two words.

"You care."

Puck was torn between being glad that Kurt wasn't actually crying again and being scared of that statement. Puck shot out a little laugh he couldn't suppress. Hummel, the smart, know it all kid was actually shocked that someone had stopped to help him off the floor. Maybe it shouldn't be as funny as it was. Maybe it was actually sad that Kurt didn't even expect anyone to notice. Maybe it was horrible that Puck might have even put Kurt on the floor once or twice in their time at school together. But maybe it was just one of those situations where things were too sad to even cry so all you could do was laugh. Whatever it was, it had both Puck and Kurt doubled over in laughter. Puck couldn't remember when he had laughed so hard; certainly not in juvie and not since he had gotten out. Even before that he couldn't remember the last time he had really and honestly just been carefree enough to laugh like this. The Puckasaurus was feeling some weird stuff right now. He reached out a put a hand onto Kurt's shoulder to steady himself. It was a simple action and Puck didn't even think about it. He was glad that Hummel was able to bring his walls down. He was happy that Hummel was laughing and not crying. Puck looked around to make sure that no one was going to ruin their moment.

Finally both boys stilled. Puck wasn't ready for the moment to end. He felt oddly protective of Kurt. It was definitely a switch from the days of tossing him in the dumpster. He squeezed Kurt's shoulder under his hand. It was small and delicate. It spoke of how fragile Kurt must have been feeling that he shifted into the touch. He really looked like a mess. Puck took that as his in since he knewHummel was all about his looks.

"C'mon. Let's go get you cleaned up and then I'll give you a lift home."

And just like that Puck was beginning to wonder if maybe this was what he needed; a friend. Someone for him to help. Someone to protect. Someone that could learn to trust him. Maybe that was a start at finding someone to finally understand him. Puck led Kurt down the hall with a renewed sense of purpose. He didn't need to tear anyone down. He just needed to make sure Hummel was ok.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much for all of the people who are following this story. I have never felt that kind of rush before. It was so nice to open my mailbox everyday and see all of these emails about this story. Really, it touched me. It also made we want to write like mad. My friend who was editing for me has had a rough week so this is self edited. Forgive the punctuation, as that it my kryptonite. This chapter is still very angsty but it'll eventually have some fluff too. I also intend to attempt some smut. This is a story involving Puck after all. Anyway, Thanks again and I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Be well!**

When Puck's truck finally stopped at the curb in front of the Hummel house Kurt wasn't sure what he expected next. Sure Puck had been nice, oddly enough, but where did that leave them now? He reached over and opened the door figuring he would leave it up to Puck. If he simply wanted to forget everything about the last forty five minutes (had it really only been that long ago) then Kurt could certainly just be thankful for the fluke kindness and move on alone. Kurt could easily walk inside and curl up on his bed while listening to some playlist that featured the melodic, soothing sounds of all the female voices he so desperately clung to. His voice was the one part of himself that he was unquestionably proud of, especially how he blended so well with female singers.

Kurt was focused on planning his relaxation techniques for the next couple of hours, as he threw his messenger bag over his shoulder and made his way to the front door. He was so singularly focused that it wasn't until he was turning his key in the lock to let himself in that he realized he didn't pay any mind to what he would do if Puck had followed him in. As Puck let out a breath, Kurt wasn't sure whether to be thrilled or terrified that Puck was coming in to his home. Thinking back Kurt couldn't remember the last time a boy had been to his house. Sure, Finn was becoming a more recent addition to Friday night dinners, along with Carole, but really that didn't count. It wasn't like Finn was showing up early or sticking around after to engage Kurt in late night movie marathons or discussions on subjects non glee club related. No, boys at the Hummel house were of the extremely endangered if not already extinct variety.

Puck could sense the weirdness coming off of the dude from, well, the two or three feet he seemed to be keeping from Hummel. Puck really needed to get a grip. He wasn't really sure why this Kurt thing was freaking him out so much. It wasn't like he has ever walked Jacob home after throwing him in the dumpster to make sure he was ok. He wasn't sure why it mattered so much to him, maybe it was this new 'lets try to be a somewhat good dude' act he decided to try out, but there was definitely something about Hummel looking so hurt that Puck didn't like. There was also some other new feelings he was noticing that weren't so easy to deal with either, not like feelings in general were something the Puckster did at all. At least not that he would own up too, anyway.

On the ride to Kurt's house, Puck had taken to watching him. He wasn't watching like in a creepy stalker way or some shit like that. It was more just like keeping an eye on him. I mean, it was no use going through all the trouble of helping the kid off the floor and cleaning him off if he were to just pat him on the back and be all 'take care buddy,' right? Anyway, during the ride Puck started to notice stuff he hadn't before. It was just that… well, Kurt used to be so strong. He used to have this look like he didn't give a crap what was happening to him, like he was better than it all, better than everyone. He used to actually put up a fight or make some stupid comment before Puck had the guys toss him into the trash. Now he was suddenly crying in the middle of the hall because Karofsky decided to be a douche? Hummel used to be too tough for that. Now he just looked broken or something. Puck wondered when that had changed, and if he was the only one who noticed.

When Kurt finally pushed the door open and stepped inside Puck walked right into the hall after him. He saw that Kurt was watching him pretty closely. He didn't shut the door right away and Puck wondered if he had even wanted him to come in. It wasn't like the guy had actually _invited_ him in but he also hadn't told him to fuck off either, or thanked him for that matter. Finally when the door shut and Hummel had hung up his coat and bag, the two of them were left standing in the hall, silent. It was kind of weird. Puck realized he had never actually been inside of Kurt's house before. He had driven by to throw things at it a while ago but he had never stopped. He hoped that the other guy wasn't thinking about the same thing. It was bad enough that he had started to wish he hadn't done some of the more asshole-ish stuff. Up until now the guy hadn't mentioned any of the badass things he had done, he didn't need Hummel giving him shit about it now that they were on his turf.

"Nice place… smells good." Puck said to break the silence and hopefully distract the guy from any bad memories. Kurt gave a funny kind of half smile before he chuckled.

"Thanks. My dad didn't like it at first but now I catch him coming home from the shop and sniffing the air when he walks in the door. I think he actually missed stuff like that after my mom died, you know, the stuff that required a woman's touch."

Puck noticed how his lips suddenly went into a tight line and he physically tightened like he was afraid of something. God, that shit was really getting annoying, it wasn't like Puck was the big bad wolf coming to eat grandma or something. Dude needed to chill and stop flinching around him.

Kurt almost kicked himself. Had he really just said 'a woman's touch?' Puck was suddenly being somewhat gentlemanly to him for a couple of hours and he was just forgetting how to filter before he spoke. He looked over at Puck and noticed that he didn't look disgusted. If anything he was slightly perturbed looking, which didn't make any sense. At least he didn't look like he was going to kick his ass first and then run. Maybe he didn't even notice the way he had just compared himself to a woman. Kurt would have to debate actually believing in a god to thank them later. Kurt wondered if he should use the moment to invite Puck in, well, further in than the hallway at least.

"Did you want a drink or something? We don't have much really. After my dad's heart attack I got rid of all the soda and pretty much anything that you would like but we still have water, juice or milk."

"Sure, man. Whatever."

Puck was actually getting a little tired from all the back and forth. He couldn't make up his mind if the guy was grateful for him helping or just too scared to tell him to go away. Honestly, he could use a beer but that wasn't exactly one of the choices Hummel had given.

"Ok. Well, I'll get us something to drink and you can just have a seat."

Kurt pointed over Puck's shoulder to the TV room. He was glad to get a minute to himself in the kitchen to pull it together. This shouldn't be freaking him out so much. Puck was just some random guy; he tried to remind himself as he walked to the kitchen. Kurt was busying himself with getting glasses and deciding what teenage boys preferred to drink, considering Puck had been of no help there. Honestly, up until today Puck had been of no help for anything. What had suddenly brought the resident badass to his defense? Kurt couldn't imagine this being a regular occurrence, but then he never would have guessed it would happen at all.

When he made his way back into the other room with two glasses of water, the safest bet as he could figure, he found Puck looking very relaxed on the sofa. He had his legs sprawled wide and his left arm up on top of the couch. Kurt almost had to laugh at the fact that it looked so typical. This could almost be a postcard of the average American teenage boy. It would be so normal in any house that wasn't this one. When Puck met his eyes he extended on of the glasses in his direction before setting his own on a coaster.

Kurt finally sat down on the sofa beside Puck, after debating between that spot and the armchair, with his body cheated in to talk with the boy. In the end there was something about the idea of feeling Puck's body heat that was comforting, and to be honest he was still pretty worked up. As long as Puck didn't shove him away he would take it as a sign that his positioning was fine.

Puck was grateful when the guy finally pulled his legs up underneath himself and leaned into the back of the couch, looking more comfortable. There was already too much weirdness around the two of them. Puck put his glass down on the empty coaster next to Kurt's after he took a sip, knowing if he didn't use a coaster it would have probably set Kurt of on some bitch frenzy. His mom was the same way about crap like that. The two sat in silence avoiding each other's eyes until Puck finally got bored. It looked like he was going to be the one making all the moves today, even if he had no clue what they were supposed to be. What were you supposed to do when you were trying to protect another dude? It wasn't like there was anyone around right now to physically fight off.

"So this is weird, man."

Kurt made another soft chuckle of agreement before he stopped playing with the buttons on his shirt. Maybe it was best if he just asked Puck outright what was going on. If he was going to get scared and shut Kurt out eventually then what was the point in trying to be gentle.

"Sorry. I guess I'm just confused, honestly. It's not that I'm not thankful for you stopping to making sure I was alright, but that's not in your usual repertoire. You're significantly more of a throw and run kind of guy."

Kurt wondered if that last part was too direct and insensitive considering that Puck had, in fact, helped today. He looked up in time to see the taller boy make a face as if he had been struck and then pull back into an uncaring blank expression. It didn't fool Kurt, the queen of the 'I'm so above this' glare, at all but it did make him feel a little regretful.

"Don't get me wrong Puck, you were really wonderful today. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there but you never seemed to really care before. In fact, you used to be one of the guys-"

"Used to," Puck murmured cutting him off and shocking Kurt altogether.

He was so tired of people shoving the past in his face. Puck hadn't as much as touched Hummel since probably sectionals last year. He got pretty caught up with 'baby gate' and then they were in the same club. They were spending almost every day together for glee stuff, and Hummel wasn't such a bad guy. It wasn't like he was itching to go shopping on the weekends with dude and his chicks or anything gay like that but he could at least give up on tossing the guy in the trash as a truce, right? Now it was almost as if the guy was saying he had tossed him into a dumpster just yesterday.

"I've barely laid a finger on you since last year, and you know it. I mean, it's not like being in glee doesn't get us enough trouble that you need me pushing you around too."

Kurt didn't know what to think. He shuffled on the couch before standing, trying to get some distance from Puck, from this situation. Was Puck really trying to say that the less than six months since the last dumpster toss was supposed to make up for the years of torment before it? He didn't know whether to be shocked or just extremely outraged. This whole conversation was just a bad idea. He could almost feel the heat rising in his face and he wasn't about to cry in front of Puck again today.

"Maybe you should go. Thank you for today but I think it's pretty obvious that we have no reason to try and become friends. Just because we are in glee together doesn't mean you owe me anything, and honestly, it doesn't make up for what happened before."

Puck balled his fists just to have some kind of release because he really wanted to hit something right now. He was done trying to defend himself to people who had already made up their mind about him. He literally picked the guy up off the floor and still Hummel was bitching about shit that happened half a year ago. Normally this would be the part where he would say 'fuck it' and get the hell out. He could text Santana and get her to give him some relaxation therapy that involved a lot less work than staying here took. Puck was up and halfway to the door before he stopped. If he walked out now he would be doing exactly what he always did. He had already decided that Santana didn't understand him. She used him just as much as he used her but that wasn't what he wanted now. He wanted more. He wanted what he could have had with Quinn and Beth had that whole situation not been fucked up from the start. He wanted responsibility and for someone to treat him like a man instead of some messed up kid. How that all led to him standing in Kurt Hummel's house wasn't exactly all too clear to him at the moment but he knew if he left now it would be over. He would have to find another way to start over again.

Puck wasn't running anymore. Running away from things that scared you was for pussies, and nothing scared Puckasaurus. He turned back around to face Kurt, walking the couple of steps to close the distance between them. Puck wanted to be right up in the guy's space so he knew exactly how serious he was when he said his peace.

"Look, I know I was an ass to you before but that's over. I'm not gonna sit here and cry about it and tell you how I was a bad guy. Shit happens and people do bad stuff, but that's done now. You don't have to be afraid of me, ok? Other people may still have issues with you but I don't. Got it? So stop flinching every five minutes like I'm about to hit you or something, and for fuck's sake quit riding me about the shit I can't take back."

Kurt looked up and even though his vision was blurry he could tell that Puck was staring at him with an intensity that made him shiver. He was completely sincere and he was voluntarily standing close to him again. He didn't seem worried about what Kurt would do to him or how he might get infected by the gay, like every other guy in town. It was certainly more than Finn was comfortable with. Honestly, it was the first time he could ever remember a guy being this close to him without looking scared, other than that afternoon of course. Maybe it was some kind of sign. Maybe Puck really had changed if, twice in one day, he could shock Kurt in a good way. Kurt felt the tears settling down and he stepped out of Puck's space to walk back over to the couch. He wasn't about to push his luck by maintaining this lack of physical distance between them when things were looking up. _Take what you can get_, Kurt thought to himself.

Puck watched Kurt walk away and sit down. He seemed to be calmer now. He was breathing more regularly, not like he was fighting back tears anymore. He hadn't said anything to let Puck know that all was cool now, but something told Puck that the guy was just about as freaked by all this as he was.

"Move over."

Puck had walked back over to the couch which Kurt was currently sitting in the middle of. He made room for Puck so that he could sit in his previous position with his arm back on top of the couch. There was something protective about it that Kurt appreciated. It amazed him how a pair of arms that had once been used to throw him around could now look so comforting. Puck picked up the remote on the table with their waters.

"Mind if we watch something. I'm kind of shot from all the talking."

Kurt gave another one of those funny laughs before he told Puck to go ahead. He knew that the guy wasn't really going to want to watch ESPN or Spike or anything so he went for the next best thing. He put on the history channel and they watched some show about 2012 and the end of the world according to the Mayan calander. Puck shifted a little bit closer to Kurt when the guy wrapped his arms around his middle and settled back into the couch. Puck thought it was kind of funny that they were watching a show about the end of the world when he was finally gonna try to start his fresh.

Kurt noted that for a guy who skipped so many classes that he wasn't sure how he hadn't been left back, Puck certainly knew what the History channel was when he put it in by number. Maybe there really was a lot more to the guy than he thought he knew.

When Burt pulled into the driveway at 7:00 PM he certainly wasn't expecting to see an unusual truck parked outside of his house. He and Kurt had somewhat of a routine, and it wasn't like his kid to have company over. Their routine had kind of worked itself after all the years of it being just them. It was understood between them by now that if Kurt got home early enough and felt up to cooking he would call the shop to let Burt know that bringing home dinner wasn't needed. There was no such call today, which wasn't something that would set off any warnings for Burt Hummel. However, the lack of any call at all, _and_ the presence of a strange truck in front of the house, combined with the lack of lighting from inside all added up to a tightening in Burt's chest that wasn't at all welcome.

He grabbed the bag of Boston Market that he had brought home and walked more quickly than usual to the front door. He found the door unlocked as he attempted the handle. Burt took a deep breath trying to ditch the thoughts of strange men beating his kid and stealing their possessions. The sight that met Burt's eyes as he passed through the hallway were less shocking than the images he had been trying to block out but it certainly wasn't something he had been prepared for either.

Kurt was sitting on the couch with his legs bent under himself as usual. How that position was comfortable was beyond Burt. That alone wasn't an unfamiliar sight but, paired with the mohawk sporting kid who looked like the definition of trouble, it was down right frightening. Kurt had never been one to have friends over. Honestly, the kid regarded his room as if it were a shrine. So the fact that not only was his kid 'hanging out' with some boy he had never met, even if he sort of remembered Carole telling him about a kid with a ridiculous name and funny haircut who was on and off friends with Finn, but that he was leaning in towards that boy on the couch with less than a foot between them made Burt want to start cracking skulls.

When Kurt finally was pulled from his wandering thoughts (he certainly hadn't been paying attention to whatever was on the TV in front of him) by his father clearing his throat, he couldn't even tell what time it was. Kurt stood up quickly, using Puck's thigh to push himself up. The contact was not missed by Puck, gathering from the way his head snapped up to meet Kurt's eyes. It also didn't go unnoticed by his father who grumbled something inaudible before gaining his son's attention back with a slightly irritated sounding question.

"Kurt, who is this guy, and why are you sitting here with all the lights off and the door unlocked?"

Kurt looked back and forth between the Puck and his father a couple of times before Puck turned his glance back to the TV. Apparently Puck decided that if he ignored the fact that there was an angry parent around then he might just disappear. Kurt thought to himself that he could recall Puck doing the same kind of thing when a teacher was yelling at him. He had seen it firsthand with Mr. Schue. Puck would stare off into space as if he was trying to remember something while Mr. Schue would go off about his dedication to the club, or his latest disagreement with Finn, or whatever disaster it was this week. All of a sudden Kurt felt a little bad for Puck. If people telling him all the time how awful he was for being gay affected him so much, he wondered what Puck being called a failure on a regular basis did to Puck.

Burt watched as his son looked to the kid sitting on the couch for help in explaining only to give up when the kid, Puck, Burt suddenly remembered, turned back to the show in front of him as if he were alone in the room. Kurt took Burt by the arm and led him towards the kitchen as if he thought that the least amount of time his father and Puck shared in a room was for the best.

"I'm sorry dad. I had a really bad day and Puck offered to give me a ride home since I wasn't really in any shape to drive."

Kurt knew it was a little low using what he knew would scare his dad as a tool to distract him but it worked. Burt went from looking over Kurt's shoulder at the TV room with distain all over his face to worriedly looking into Kurt's face and turning his head from side to side in his big hands, obviously checking for bruises.

"Are you ok, kid? What happened?"

It wasn't an extremely rare occurrence for his kid to make a face because of pain from the bruises he knew he was probably hiding, but it wasn't often that Kurt actually said anything to give the idea that there was something wrong. That was when he knew it had to be bad.

"I'm fine, dad. Don't worry too much. Sit down before you work yourself up. The last thing I want is for you to have another heart attack because of me."

Kurt stopped and crossed his arms over his chest with his hip out to one side in his 'you may be the dad but I am the boss of _you_ right now' poses. When Burt pulled out a chair and sat, taking off his cap and rubbing his head, Kurt continued.

"One of the usual football guys was trying to express his dislike for my general fabulousness and I guess I didn't get enough sleep last night or something because it got to me more than usual. It's nothing to freak out about, I promise. But Puck saw it and he realized that shaky hands were not ideal for driving so he offered to give me a ride today. It was very nice of him"

Kurt was trying to downplay the actual incident while making Puck look like a gentleman, all at the same time. He knew his father was pretty much untrusting of anyone who had male DNA and was a teenager when it came to his son. Not like many of the guys in this town had given him reason to feel otherwise, but Puck was quickly proving to Kurt that he was different now. He just needed his dad to calm down long enough to figure out how to prove that to his father too.

Burt couldn't tell what to think. While Kurt wasn't one for talking about his problems at school, he didn't seem all that physically hurt when compared to any other day. Sure, there was the wince he made when he crossed his hands over his chest but it wasn't like he was crying or anything. Burt hated himself for thinking that his kid crying was what he needed to see before he addressed the bullying. It was just that any other time he tried to bring up the issue of bullies at school Kurt would shut him down and change the subject.

Suddenly, both of their attention was pulled back to the entryway as Puck intentionally coughed.

"I'm just gonna get home. My mom's gonna get bent out of shape if I'm not back by the time she pick's Sarah up from my aunt's house and makes it home from work. Just text me if you need a ride to school tomorrow or something."

Puck wasn't sure exactly what he was supposed to do in this situation, now that he was trying to be the big macho protector guy, but he was pretty sure that Hummel didn't need protecting from his father. Kurt certainly didn't need it as much as he would if Burt decided he didn't like the guy. It was typical for fathers to not like Puck, which was why he tried to avoid meeting them as much as possible. Puck figured that it was best to get out of firing distance while he could and let Kurt come to him if he needed to.

"I don't have your number." Kurt was glad that Puck was leaving because it would be a lot easier to distract his father if he weren't sitting in the next room, but he wasn't really ready to have Puck go either.

"I shot myself a text on your phone. Its there." Puck's head turned to look at Burt. He knew he had to say something. If not to save his own ass then at least to try and make a good impression so that Kurt wouldn't get a lot of hassle from his dad about 'Puck's bad attitude.' "Night, Mr. Hummel. Um, Cool TV."

It wasn't anything big but Kurt was honestly floored that Puck had said anything to his dad at all. After ignoring him when he first came in, Kurt was sure he would just leave without so much as a hello. Although, Kurt wasn't surprised when Puck left without waiting for as much as a word in return. The door clicked shut and after a minute the roar of an engine sounded outside.

Burt really didn't like that kid. He was thankful that he helped Kurt, of course, but if this was in fact the same kid that Carole had told him about, he wasn't about to trust him. Kurt was the most important thing in Burt Hummel's life and he wasn't about to trust some punk with a chip on his shoulder with his child.

"Look, kid. I'm sorry you had a bad day. I know that small town life isn't easy when you're different. Trust me, I want to give you the world, buddy. That's why I'm working my ass off to be able to send you to New York for college. Until then though, you just gotta tell me when stuff gets too hard. I can't follow you around that school every day but if I need to go in and make a scene every now and then to prove to some of those idiot educators over there that I'm watching, I will." There was silence for a minute where Kurt just looked at the floor and shifted a bit. Burt knew this stuff was difficult to deal with and he didn't want to push too hard, but he needed his kid to know he was there for him. "I love you, Buddy."

Burt watched as Kurt sat in the next chair over and put his hands on the table, clasped in front of him. Kurt stared down at them like he was too hurt to hide the pain but too proud to ask for help. In that moment Burt Hummel couldn't hate the idiot with the beat up truck who brought his kid home. Kurt wasn't one to ask for help often. Burt could probably count on one hand the number of times his son had actually come to him with a concern for himself. His kid didn't have any clue that Burt knew more than he let on. Burt was less worried about the guys pushing his son around in school for being a little flamboyant, and more worried about the trouble his kid would have in life when he finally admitted the things that he kept hidden away in that basement.

No. As Burt Hummel put one of his strong hand on top of his kid's clasped on the table in front of them, he could only be thankful that maybe, just maybe, Kurt was finally going to ask for help and open up to someone. This Puck had just better be worth it.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in this chapter. I had kind of a rough week and had to write some other stuff to get through the darkness. That being said, I hope you all like the chapter. There are some more characters involved, and I'm a little nervous about writing some of the glee club members but they will come and go. This chapter was a bit of a turning point too. The first two were to shake up our protagonists and this one was to start a new status quo. Thankfully that means I can start to explore some of the other themes I wanted to write about. The trans issue will be directly addressed in the next chapter in a way that was so fun in my mind and hopefully kind of hot too. Then there will be some minor smut and fluff mixed with a couple of serious conversations. We are talking about Kurt and Puck, who both have more than enough baggage, so it'll probably move slowly. **

**With that, I give you chapter 3! Thanks to everyone for the reviews that brighten my life. Keep 'em coming because they really help the process. LOVE YOU ALL!**

**PS- thanks to my betas, Shayne and Mischievous Gleek. You two make writing so much less stressful by making editing fun. Love ya both!**

Chapter 3:

When Puck literally rolled out of bed the next morning he reached up from the floor and turned off the alarm on his phone only to see that he had missed a text already. _Who the hell was up at 6:45am_, he thought as he checked the time on the top of the screen. Santana wasn't a 'good morning sweetie' kind of chick, thank god. Honestly, right now, considering all the people he wasn't talking to, there weren't many people texting him at any time of the day. He was only confused for a minute until he saw that the message was from Kurt. Memories from yesterday slammed back into his head and Puck swore it felt like being hit by a truck. Puck opened the message to see what Kurt could possibly want this early in the morning. He kind of hoped this new protector gig didn't mean he would get requests at all hours of the day and night; he had enough of that dealing with Quinn's bitchy demands while she was preggers and living at his house. Who the fuck wanted ice cream and pickles at three in the morning anyway? What was it, an alien baby? After reading the message, Puck remembered another fact from the day before.

_To Puck:_

_My car is at school. Are you still offering that ride?_

The second that Kurt sent the message he regretted it. After staring at his phone for five minutes he started to dread the outcome. Puck had left his number in Kurt's phone, and he had also made that very cryptic comment about how if Kurt needed a ride he could text. Well, maybe it wasn't exactly cryptic but, still, Kurt wondered if it was genuine or if he simply realized that Kurt wouldn't have a car now and didn't want to seem like an ass. Puck could have just kept his mouth shut and let him walk to school. This was the part that Kurt hated with a passion, it's not like he had much experience with this kind of situation after all. Puck had taken care of Kurt yesterday; he had been somewhat protective and sweet. If he had any frame of reference to compare these actions with he might feel better but, honestly, this was kind of the first time a guy, who wasn't his father, had ever shown any kind of interest in him.

Were he and Puck now friends? Was it going to be a normal occurrence for them to text back and forth after this? It wasn't as if there was a wealth of topics that he and Puck would normally converse about. Kurt had no urge to bond over whatever violent video game was in at the moment and Puck probably had no clue what Vogue even was. So why would Puck leave his number in Kurt's phone? Here was the badass of McKinley openly and freely making himself available to probably the biggest outcast in Lima history. What exactly was Kurt supposed to make of that?

As Kurt finished his morning routine he got lost in thoughts of what the future could possibly be like for Puck and himself. He couldn't help but feel somewhat frightened, imagining scenarios where Puck would gain his trust only to completely expose him and all of his most guarded secrets to all of Lima. But yesterday Puck had made a point that he was not being a jerk anymore, so Kurt tried to picture more alluring options.

Kurt kept his gender play a secret because he knew that the likelihood of finding an understanding person in Lima was about the same as the chances of him being able to afford a McQueen original at market price. He hadn't even told Mercedes, as much as he loved his Diva friend, it was physically impossible for her to keep a secret and he wasn't ready to be exposed like that. The idea of having his deepest secret exposed to Puck on the other hand, was terrifying yet tempting at the same time. After imagining all the ways Puck could hurt him, Kurt began to wonder just how sexually explorative Puck was. It wasn't exactly a secret that the guy had slept with every willing woman in town; it certainly helped his numbers that he was a walking wet dream. If anyone had confronted him outright about that Kurt would deny it till he was blue in the face, especially considering the fact that Puck had been one of his main tormentors in the past.

But, Kurt reflected, amid all the dumpster dives and slushie facials, Puck had never outright said it was because of his sexuality. In fact, Puck didn't seem to target anyone for personal reasons; it was simply about status with him. With that in mind, Kurt wondered what would happen if he told Puck how desperately he wanted to be seen as a woman. As much as Kurt desired Puck physically, he wondered how he would feel if Puck treated him as just another notch in his bedpost like he did all the other women in his life. Realizing that he had finished his skin care regimen and was still sitting in front of his vanity, Kurt took a look at himself and wondered if his secret would cost him his new "friendship," if it could be called that. His phone, vibrating in front of him, pulled his attention and made his stomach jump when he read Puck's reply.

_To Kurt:_

_K b by in 15_

Throwing on the closet pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt, Puck grabbed his letterman jacket before he made his way out to his truck. Puck wasn't gay or anything, so it wasn't like he was gonna spend extra time picking out clothes just because Kurt asked if he could pick him up. But at the same time, there was still something new about his feelings for Kurt, maybe the fact that he had feelings for the guy at all. He felt it first yesterday when Kurt had finally pulled himself together in the hallway at school. Walking out with his arm wrapped around Kurt's shoulder also gave him a strange kind of buzzing feeling. It felt almost… good. Maybe it was just the whole protector thing. That could be it, right? There was nothing bad about a dude who was proud to be able to defend others; it just meant that Puck was so badass that he made the other bullies scared to threaten someone he had under his wing. It was totally fucking normal.

Puck kept trying to focus on plans to take care of Kurt all the way to the guy's house rather than think about the way the guy made him feel. Dudes didn't deal with feelings and shit, dudes just reacted. It was like football. Puck didn't need to feel all kumbaya and shit about the guys on the team to be able to catch the ball and score. Puck ignored the fact that he had compared his relationship with Kurt to scoring a touchdown and all the dirty references that went with it. He also ignored the way he shifted in the driver's seat from the familiar tightening in his lower half.

Pulling up to Kurt's house, Puck threw the truck into park and looked at himself in the rear view mirror.

"Ok, dude, pull it together," Puck said to his reflection.

Puck gave an upward jerk of his head as if to reassure himself of his own prowess adding a grunt for effect, but it only made him feel like more of a punk than ever before. Frustrated he threw open the door and got out to make his way to Kurt's door. The guy's dad must be gone judging by the fact that the driveway was empty. He was relieved that at least there was no chance for a repeat of the 'hurt my son and I'll pummel you' stare that Burt gave him last night. Puck gave a little laugh at the fact that pummel and Hummel rhymed as he brought his knuckles to the door.

Kurt opened the door after the second knock, and if Puck thought that the day was going to be hard before, he knew it was going to be a fucking disaster now. Kurt was standing there wearing the tightest jeans he had ever seen. Puck wondered how he had even gotten them on. What if the dude had to like pee or something? It must take forever to get those off. His boots only came to just above his ankles which left a whole lot of leg to see. He was also wearing a sweater that came down to the top of his thighs which only made him look more like a chick minus the boobs, but it's not like all the women he had been with were rocking a full rack. Santana even got a boob job, which was fine even if it made them more firm and less bouncy. Taking everything into account Puck could easily say that this was one of Kurt's more girly get ups, and that wasn't going to be helping Puck's growing problem, pun intended.

Kurt was shocked at the leer he was getting from Puck. It wasn't like he had never worn a fabulous outfit before. Sure, these new jeans were probably closer to jeggings that actual jeans but he knew he made them look good, and they used his pear shape to his advantage. His thighs were a bit rounder than most proportionally, it was one of the parts of his body he had always loved. It made him feel curvy and feminine. In fact, if he didn't know better, he would swear that Puck was checking him out and it didn't look like he minded what he saw. Puck's face betrayed him as a whole slew of emotions passed over it from what Kurt could see.

Finally the intensity of his gaze became too much and Kurt adjusted the strap on his messenger bag as he cleared his throat effectively snapping Puck from his daze. Puck kind of blinked fast a couple of times and Kurt couldn't help but feel a sense of pride that he had had that effect on the town hottie. Maybe there was more to this friendship with Puck than he had thought at first. Being under the appreciative eye of a guy with Puck's reputation made him feel significantly sexier, and definitely more womanly than any of the outfits he had stashed in his basement chest. So long as the staring didn't take on a creepy or disgusted vibe, it was definitely something he could get used to.

Puck finally managed to pull it together enough to mumble a quick "sup" and "ready?" before turned and walked off toward the truck leaving Kurt to follow in his wake. Puck didn't know an awful lot but one thing he was positive of was that he couldn't handle seeing Kurt's ass in those pants right now. He made it to the driver's seat and readjusted Puckzilla in his pants before starting the car and waiting for Kurt to climb in.

When they arrived at school Puck parked the truck, escorted Kurt to his locker, and then to his first class all without a word spoken between them. He offered a nod and a grunt, which could very well have been a 'see you later' in Puck Speak, or so Kurt assumed. Puck had managed to only look around every couple of minutes and while it could very well have been to keep an eye out for Karofsky or any of the other usual suspects, Kurt thought it was more likely that Puck was wondering who was watching him willingly be seen with the town queer.

After Kurt had taken his usual seat in class, he went through his daily routine of putting up all his walls and preparing for a long day of underwhelming classes and daunting comments about his attire and sexuality. Now it seemed that he was also worrying about the effect he was going to have on Puck's reputation. For Kurt, it was oddly comforting to close himself off from the world and get lost in his own thoughts for forty five minutes. There was no point in even trying to pay attention in history where the teacher literally taught from the book paragraph by paragraph.

Kurt's thoughts picked up right where they had left off that morning. He imagined what it would be like for Puck to come over and visit Kurt while he was in his room exploring his feminine side.

_Puck would walk in while Kurt was wearing a pleated black skirt and silky blouse posing in front of his full length mirror (This was a fantasy after all). Puck would come up behind him and tell him how beautiful he looked. His hand would entwine around his waist as he leaned down and placed a sweet but sensual open mouthed kiss to the side of his neck. _

"_I always knew you would look gorgeous like this," Puck would almost whisper into Kurt's ear as his hot breath would dance around the sport where his jaw met his ear lobe._

"_Are you sure I don't look ridiculous?" Kurt would turn his head to look questioningly into the taller boy's eyes pleadingly. _

"_You look perfect."_

Kurt felt a sigh escape his lips, which apparently had not been in his fantasy judging by the questioning glances from the people who were sitting around him. Kurt focused his attention on the teacher up front writing on the board. Maybe tight pants weren't the greatest idea today, he thought as he moved around trying to find a comfortable position that also hid the physical reaction he was having at the thought of Puck's body on his.

After what felt like hours later, the bell rang; Kurt wandered out into the hall to meet Mercedes for their usual strut to their shared class and was surprised to see Puck leaning on the lockers ten feet away talking to Finn. Puck, seeing him meet up with Mercedes, gave him another one of his signature nods before turning and walking away. Finn's face bore his usual confused expression, mingled with shock as he realized who Puck acknowledged. Honestly, Kurt thought that Finn's face summed up the situation pretty well, which in itself was strange since Kurt rarely identified with Finn's confusion. Mercedes looped her arm through his as he watched Finn jog to catch up with Puck who was already halfway down the hall.

"What was that about? Is Puck trying to intimidate you again?"

Mercedes had her eyebrows raised and her head tilted in a way that said she might go kick his ass if the answer were yes, and the hand that wasn't link through Kurt's arm was on her hip.

"No, Mercedes. I actually had a bad day yesterday and Puck was the exact opposite of an ass. Well, maybe not the exact opposite but for him it was an extreme improvement."

"And why didn't you tell me about it? I didn't notice anything off about you yesterday."

Kurt didn't find that surprising. While he and Mercedes had become closer after the crazy, oblivious crush she had on him, he still kept his walls up around her and she had yet to penetrate them. Ultimately, Mercedes liked the image he portrayed and was more than willing to accept it. After all, what girl didn't want a fashionable, sassy, quick witted, 'BFF'? Like all the other girls in glee club, she didn't _want_ to see the truth of how hard things were for him because that meant losing the snarky stereotype he let everyone see. Kurt knew that an answer of "Because, let's face it, you really don't want to know when truly ugly things happen to me" wasn't what she wanted to hear right now. Instead he went with the simple and, otherwise true answer.

"It was after glee had ended and you'd already left. It wasn't a big deal. Karofsky just decided to make a point of saying goodbye to me in a less than cordial manner."

Right on cue Mercedes gave her, "Aww baby, I'm so sorry," and moved right on to the next topic. They walked into science and Kurt was glad the chemistry actually required him to pay attention and focus on something that wasn't his own messed up life for a while.

First period for Puck was gym, which was great because it meant he got to start his day off every day with something physical. It wasn't like he was a dumb dude but he wasn't exactly a fan of school. He could add and subtract, and despite what people may think from his 'text speak', he could string together sentences just fine. Puck knew that whatever they taught you in high school; the real lessons were all about interacting with others and learning to play nice and shit. When it came to social order, Puck was king. He didn't need an A on every report card to make his mom happy. He already knew that life sucked, people left, and you had to pick up the pieces and do whatever it took to get by. High school was for pussies and idiots who led sheltered lives.

With his theory on the educational system and the general lack of expectations his teachers had for him, Puck was really only semi interested in a couple of classes. Gym was cool because it was exercise-sex gods had to look hot, and it helped him blow off steam when he was pissed or (sexually) frustrated, like now. Lunch was good because it meant he got to watch over his minions and feel like their ruler. Science could be good but only if there was a lab where he got to cut something open or blow stuff up.

Then there was glee, which was honestly his favorite part of the day, not that he would admit it. That left at least half of the day where Puck was trying not to be bored out of his mind. Teachers were no longer surprised if he didn't show up to class, or if he asked to go to the bathroom only to never return. No, he had the system down, and it felt good.

It was one of those days in gym where they had to do some state-wide test to show how fit they were, and today they were running a timed mile. Puck finished in six minutes and fifty seconds, which wasn't his best but he was just glad to have a physical outlet for his stress. Even with that time it still meant that he beat just about everyone else. Kurt had him all twisted up. He couldn't get the image of the guy out of his head, tight pants and all. Puck wasn't gay, he knew he wasn't into other dude's, it was just something about Kurt; it was like he wasn't just a dude. Puck had seen him in the locker room before so he knew for a fact that Kurt had guy parts and shit but still, there was just something about him that screamed "not a dude", and it was driving Puck insane.

Kurt walked with a kind of swish and he talked with his hands a lot. He had a really high voice, which only got even higher when he sang (a girl song too, probably). Puck knew he was stereotyping, but there was something different about this, and he couldn't put his finger on it. The guy seemed like he was only one step away from his dick falling off or something. Oh god, now Puck was actually thinking about Kurt Hummel's dick. Puck walked towards the locker room after he finished his run. Maybe he could grab a cold shower before he had to go. That idea quickly got tossed aside when Finn caught up to him.

"Hey man, what's up? You ready for practice today?"

Puck fought off his urge to tell Finn to get lost and instead spoke to him.

"Sure, man. Beiste has been kicking our asses but I kind of like rough practices. It takes the edge off." He answered as he grabbed a towel to wipe off some of the sweat from his run, and putting his foot up on the bench between lockers to hide the noticeable bulge in his gym shorts from thinking about Kurt.

Finn smiled his agreement but it was quickly followed by the constipated look he got on his face which meant he was thinking way too hard. It was hard enough for Finn to think at all.

"So, um, look dude, I saw you coming in with Kurt this morning and I just want you to know that he's sorta like my little brother and if this is like a prank or something, well, that's not cool man. I mean it's okay if you want to like be friends with him and stuff" he added, "But, like, what's going on?"

Finn let out a huff of air, like he had been nervous to say anything at all to Puck fearing that the running back would kick his ass, but was still looked pleased with himself for actually saying it. Puck knew he should have expected for Finn to second guess his intentions. Even Finn, who used to be his right hand man when pranks went down, was pretending to be reformed and so much better than him now. It was like everyone in the world got to grow and change, or some cliché shit like that, all except Puck who was supposed to stay the same Lima Loser everyone pegged him as, and he was sick of it.

"What the fuck man? I haven't done anything to him, or anyone else in glee, since last year. And even then, we're talking early baby gate days. You're the one that Kurt had to slushy himself for, remember? That wasn't me dude. So stop pretending to be all 'big brother' now when you're actually the last one of all of us to stop treating Kurt like he was infected or something."

With that Puck grabbed his clothes, slammed his locker shut, and pushed past a more confused looking Finn. He walked to the nearest bathroom to change out of his wet gym tee, away from Finn and his 'holier than thou' attitude. Puck was confused and angry; He was fed up with everyone's double standards. He started thinking how funny it was that Kurt Hummel was now the only person he actually felt like hanging out with. He wasn't sure this whole protector gig was supposed to require having feelings for the guy, but for the most part he didn't care if it did. With his regular clothes back on, Puck set out to find his new friend and make sure he got to his next class without trouble.

Kurt was surprised to find that Puck walked him to the rest of his classes. They didn't really talk while they walked, and the couple of times that Mercedes or Tina came up to chat with Kurt caused Puck fall back and trail behind them while they gossiped. Kurt had wondered if Puck looking over him was actually working but he realized with a start that half a day had passed without him being shoved, insulted, or hit with a slushy, so he could only assume that it was. It wasn't until fifth period that anything bad happened at all.

Kurt was walking out of History as Puck rounded the corner. The taller boy watched Kurt's face brighten as he spotted Mercedes and bumped shoulders with her as they clutched their books to their chests and proceeded to whisper back and forth, laughing almost constantly. Kurt didn't see Karofsky coming up behind him, and Puck was too far away to make it in time. Kurt's body flew limply into the row of lockers at his side. His books scattered across the floor along with random papers that had fallen out of his hands. He looked slightly dazed, and rubbed his shoulder where the contact had been made.

Puck felt his fists tighten in response to the sight; this was a new kind of mad. Sure he had shoved people around last year for fun, but it was never about a grudge or a score to settle, it was just about re-enforcing his badass status. Now, though, he felt like there was fire or poison in his veins. His body literally burned with the need to do something. He walked towards the laughing Karofsky, who was busy looking over his shoulder at his success, and planted his feet. When the bulky football player walked into Puck he stopped laughing and turned with a scowl on his face.

"Watch it Puckerman. This is a hallway. Walk."

Karofsky went to go around Puck, obviously not noticing that the guy's face was painted with frustration. Puck shot out his arm to prevent the other guy from moving around him.

"Really," Karofsky spat. "So all of the sudden you're gonna turn hero and stick up for the faggot? Glee club really has turned you into a fairy."

Puck shot both fists out and grabbed his jersey. He pulled Karofsky forward so that their faces were only inches apart.

"Picking on someone smaller than you is easy, man. Think you have the courage to pick on someone who will hit back?"

Puck was literally shaking with rage now. He couldn't keep still if he tried, but the look of sudden fear that shot through Karofsky's eyes was proof enough that he was right; Karofsky was nothing more than a coward. Karofsky blinked and shook his head and the fear was gone, replaced with his usual attempt at looking tough. It was too late though; Puck could _smell_ fear on a person. If Puck didn't hate the guy so much, maybe he would show him how to pull off a real badass look. Not everyone was as naturally gifted at it as he was. Karofsky pushed Puck back and off of himself, taking note of the crowd now gathering around them.

"See, this is what happens when you go and join glee club. All that singing is bound to turn you gay. Puckerman's just as fruity as the rest of them now."

Karofsky pointed to Kurt who was still on the ground with a look of shock on his face as he watched the scene taking place before his eyes. After he straightened his jersey out from Puck's grasp, Karofsky narrowed his eyes at Puck once more.

"Stay the fuck away from me, Puckerman. You got that I don't care what gay shit you want to do with Hummel now but keep your hands off me."

As the bully strode off down the hallway, Kurt couldn't stop watching Puck's face. He was still shaking but obviously trying to pull himself together now that the other boy had retreated. His fists were balled at his sides and his knuckled were ghost white. After closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Puck's lids opened and his eyes immediately darted to Kurt. Still on the floor, Kurt's own breath caught in his throat. The gaze he was receiving now was intense and scary but also addictive. He had never felt anyone be so fiercely protective of him before. Puck strode over with a purpose and reached his hand out to help the him up. Kurt raised his hand and winced from the pain in his shoulder and back as Puck pulled him to his feet.

"You okay?"

Puck knew it was a dumb question. The guy probably had at least one hell of a bruise on his arm now and his face was the wrong color. Obviously he wasn't okay, but Puck didn't know what else to say. He also noticed that he hadn't let go of Kurt's hand yet, even though he was on his feet again. It felt soft but kind of clammy from the sweat and adrenaline. It felt good.

"You keep doing that."

Kurt kept finding his questions coming out as statements when around Puck. He had meant to ask "_why do_ you keep doing that," but it seemed that Puck had a strange affect on his brain to mouth filter. Puck laughed and let go of Kurt's hand, which made the shorter boy feel an immediate sense of loss, before he rubbed his other hand on the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I guess so. That guy's an ass though. Someone should've told him to fuck off a long time ago."

Kurt was slightly bitter about that; it wasn't like bullying was a new phenomenon for him. He has been tormented all his life. In grade school it was because he wanted to play with the girls at recess. It quickly escalated to blatant homophobia in later years. No matter the reason though, it was something that everyone knew about but never stepped in to stop. People saw him getting thrown around and called names, but no one did anything about it. His teachers would turn a blind eye while his friends were usually too worried about the latest couple drama. No, it had been clear for a long time that no one cared what happened to the town queer, until now it seemed.

Kurt debated if he should make a snide comment telling Puck that it was a bit late to show that he now cared, and wanted to make it all better. But the bigger part of him longed for the boy to lay his hand on him like he had the day before and lie to him by telling him that everything would be fine now that he was here. Of course his brain to mouth filter screwed it up for him again.

"Well, better late than never, I guess."

Kurt was looking at Puck like he wanted to trust him but still wasn't sure. He could understand that, and it was certainly better than the flinching or the defensive attitude that Kurt had been so quick with yesterday, and, if he was honest, all of the days before. Kurt's eyes seemed to be in constant battle with his ass when it came to confusing Puck. When Puck saw the bright blue/green color of Kurt's eyes he couldn't help but want to keep them looking hopeful and in time, happy or at least content. Kurt was depressed too often. Sometimes he tried to hide it like he had the day before in the choir room but Puck realized, with shock that he was finally seeing through Kurt's defenses.

Puck knew that Kurt had lost his mother, and while it was a under completely different circumstances, Puck could sympathize; he had lost his father too. Puck could recognize the pain it caused because he saw it in his own eyes in the mirror every day. While Finn had lost his father, he never really knew the guy so he never really recognized the feeling it in other people. Let's be honest, this was the guy who had just lectured me about not hurting Kurt when apparently he had been too busy worshipping a sandwich to care about the dude's dad almost dying, or at least that was how Santana put it Puck knew that when Santana thought someone was insensitive it had to be pretty bad since the range of emotions she showed consisted of angry and horny.

Puck knew Kurt's father was accepting of him, but other than that, Puck doubted that Kurt had in anyone else in his life that would fight for him. While the Glee club said that they supported and accepted Kurt, Puck couldn't think of a single instance where anyone had actually stood up and defended him. He wondered, really, how many could Kurt or he could actually call a friend. It seemed as though everyone was too invested in themselves to see it when one of their own needed help. The way that Kurt had looked at him after he stood up to Karofsky told Puck that it was probably a first for him. Yesterday, Puck got the sense that Kurt had almost given up. Other than the fact that he was in obvious physical pain, it looked like he had just accepted that this was how his life was. It was all there in his gorgeous but broken eyes. Puck couldn't take it any more, and so just like the day before, Puck put his arm around Kurt's shoulders and turned him towards the bathroom to help him clean up.

Kurt had to force Puck to let him go to class. It was ironic that Kurt was the one who wound up on the floor and yet he had to reassure Puck that everything would be fine. Puck walked him to his class, which he was late for, and told him he would be back at the end of the lesson.

Kurt spent that English class getting caught up in even more fantasies about the mohawked boy. He imagined Puck's strong hands holding him while they lay in Kurt's bed. He imagined the feeling of being pressed up close to Puck's chest, the warmth that it would give him, the feel of his heartbeat on his back as they lay their bodies intertwined. He wanted to feel that sense of safety all the time. If the simple hand on his back or arm around his shoulder had the power to work as a life raft for him like it had been, Kurt wanted to do everything in his power to keep Puck close. Just yesterday, he had still seen Puck as the torturous jerk that had assisted in making his life hell for far too long. Now, less than 24 hours after the guy had picked him up off the floor, lying in Puck's arms became his favorite fantasy for calming his nerves.

The last two periods of the day were exactly the same. Puck would be waiting when Kurt walked out of the classroom and would walk with him. He stood closer than he had while they walked this morning, which made Kurt feel oddly grateful for Karofsky's earlier assault.

When the last period of the day was over, Puck walked him to his locker and then out to his car. They still didn't talk much, and it wasn't until they had reached the black Navigator that Puck finally spoke.

"So I'll see you tomorrow. I'll wait for you out here in the morning. Think you can manage to stay out of trouble without me?"

"I'll see what I can do but I have this new friend who is a real badass. I just hope he hasn't rubbed off on me too much or I might start a fight."

Kurt gave a tight lipped smirk and Puck felt his groin tighten at the idea of rubbing himself against Kurt. God this guy was gonna be the end of him, which was fine because Puck was hoping it would also be a new beginning. Puck gave a huff of appreciation at the comment about his status as if to say 'badass and you know it' before he turned and walked back for football practice. Kurt watched him go, thankful for the way Puck joked about the situation. He didn't force Kurt to talk about how the bullying made him feel, or go into detail about how bad it really was. No, Puck just kept it light while obviously letting Kurt know he would be there again tomorrow and that he had his back. And right now that meant everything.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So once again I will apologize for the wait between chapters. It looks like logistically I can crank out a chapter every week to week and a half. I was hoping to have at least 1 a week and more like 3 every two weeks but that just doesn't seem to be happeneing. **

**The upside is that I am so loving this story from a creative stance. I have so many ideas and I can't wait to share them all with you. I hope you are strapped in because this is not ending anytime soon. There will be plenty more sexual tension, angst, eventually some hurt and comfort, and even some fluffy goodness if I can get our babies there! **

**I hope you all are as excited and entracned as I am. Thanks for sticking around this long and I hope you enjoy! Love you all!**

**Chapter 4:**

It had all started so well. Puck was on the couch next with his arm around the smaller boy, it would have been a very casual looking scene to anyone else but both Puck and Kurt could feel the tension that was practically radiating in the room. Neither person was aware of what the show they were watching was about. The program had changed three times since they had sat down but, honestly, this wasn't about watching TV so it didn't matter. Puck had started out in his usual position half sprawled out on the couch while Kurt pressed lightly to his side.

After too long of simply sitting together, Puck made a joke to open up a conversation. It led to both boys horsing around on the couch as they grew closer and closer physically. Eventually both boys were horizontal and Puck had leaned in to close the distance at the same time that the front door opened. Kurt's head immediately snapped toward the sound and he practically dove back to his side of the couch.

The moment had passed leaving Puck to wonder how exactly he had ended up in this position anyway. Kurt was a dude… _right_? He tried to play through the events of the day and he was left knowing really only one thing. He was more fucking confused than he had ever been before.

Earlier That Day:

When Kurt pulled into the school parking lot that morning, Puck had been leaning against his beat up truck waiting. Kurt couldn't suppress the smile that broke out on his face. He certainly wasn't used to feeling this way. Finn had beaten him down emotionally, and he was so used to equating his feelings for a boy with some kind of sadness or self hatred that this situation with Puck was throwing him off.

Kurt shut the door of his car behind him and did his best to school his emotions into a more neutral mask. While Puck was surprising him at most every turn, he wasn't about to let his guard down and become defenseless just in case the boy decided to shift back into his old ways at some point. Kurt had lived in Lima his entire life and knew better than to let himself get this way over a boy.

"I figured I'd get here early just in case you decided to test out some of those skills you _think_ you've learned from hanging with a badass."

Puck put extra emphasis on the word think but Kurt got that he was poking fun at him and so rather than being annoying it was actually coming off as kind of cute. Puck was teasing him in a way that was significantly different from the way he used to jab at Kurt. It could almost be categorized as flirting, but Kurt quickly shot that thought out of his head and gave his best playful death glare. Kurt just hoped he had the energy to walk this tight rope without falling too hard, too far, or too fast.

"Well, now that you are here it would seem I have you to do all the work. No use in ruining my perfectly good manicure."

Kurt turned and strode past Puck hoping that the boy would follow. He did his best to keep his usual stance of superiority. His head was held high and he gave a sneer as he walked up to the building to the girl to his left who obviously had dressed in the dark today. Not let down, Puck was by his side as he strode in the doors. Mercedes was at her locker and caught sight of him coming towards her. She waved excitedly at him before her smile fell and she frowned at the boy next to him.

"Is he still following you around? I wasn't going to say anything yesterday because it was nice of him to make sure you were okay after whatever it was Karofsky did. I mean, Puck being oddly nice to you for a day is one thing but his following you around two days in a row is a little creepy," Mercedes paused and glanced at the mohawked boy before adding to her thought. "Creepy even for Puck."

"Nice to see you today, Aretha. And just so you know, I can hear you."

Normally Puck would be a little more defensive with the black chick but she was Kurt's friend and he wasn't going to risk getting back into Kurt's bad graces already just for telling her to fuck off.

"Oh, I'm fully aware that you can hear me," Mercedes said with a roll of her head and a finger flying into his face. "And just so _you know_ if you hurt my white boy here, I will cut you. And I'll take so much pleasure in choosing just the right body part to cut off too."

Mercedes linked her arm through Kurt's and proceeded to drag him along as she walked. Puck rolled his eyes but fell into step behind them, giving him a perfect view of Kurt's ass. It was even worse than he thought it would be, and by worse he meant that it was a fucking glorious ass and it was causing him to have all kinds of confusing physical reactions. As he shoved his hands in his pockets to do his best in masking Puckzilla's growth, he leaned forward enough to be heard over the two gossiping in front of him.

"I'm just gonna go to the gym since it seems like Aretha here has got your back for now."

Puck took off without waiting for a reply towards the bathroom to get rid of his little problem. Kurt watched him go and couldn't help the way his smile faltered, but Mercedes quickly distracted his train of thought talking about Rachel and how best to derail the fashionably challenged diva's latest attempt to get the solo that would be perfect for her instead.

Once he was settled in his seat for French after bidding adieu to Mercedes, Kurt began his second morning of trying hard to pay attention to the lecture rather than get lost in thoughts of his new muscular friend and the places he would like to feel his hands.

In the bathroom Puck quickly locked the outer door after making sure the room was empty and then slammed and locked the stall door shut. He was relieved to find the room empty but he still wanted as much privacy as possible. As he flipped the lid for the seat down, he groaned out his frustrations. He was a teenage boy, so it wasn't like he had never jacked off before, but this wasn't a reaction to Santana teasing him or some Cheerio flirting with him. This time it was all as a result of Kurt Hummel, a dude. Well, kind of. _Maybe._

That was part of why this was so fucking messed up. There was something about Hummel that almost made it okay for Puck to stare at his ass. Whatever it was though Puck couldn't exactly tell and so he tried to push away thoughts of Hummel's perfectly shaped ass and he pulled up some of his usual fantasies. He pictured Santana in her Cheerios uniform, or more specifically just the skirt. He pictured her writhing above him while she looked down on him. He got sidetracked when the thought of her looking down on him figuratively turned into thoughts of how she had literally been looking down on him since his release from juvie.

After shaking off that image he decided to switch speeds and remember what it was like with Quinn that night last year. She had been looking at him with such want and desire. She was so angelic and needy. He remembered how she started off shaking slightly but then how she was the one to reach out and pull him towards her with such desire. It felt so good to be wanted, to be needed, but suddenly she was pushing him away and getting off the couch. In his mind Quinn now wore a sick smile and was tightening her hair back into the standard high pony all the Cheerio's wore.

"Now who's the insecure and needy one?" Quinn laughed and walked off leaving Puck to stare after here miserably.

Puck shook off that image as well only to close his eyes needing to find something to give him release. In his mind he was on a couch. He felt Puckzilla at attention in his pants and he reached down to satisfy his own needs. He was a badass and he didn't need to picture some hot chick just to get off.

He stroked himself both in the stall and in his own mind. After a moment though, he wasn't alone on that couch in his imagination. Instead, there was a familiar warmth pressing into his side. Opening his eyes in the fantasy, Puck found Kurt Hummel looking up into his face with anticipation written all over his features. Kurt's well manicure fingers crept across his chest to tweak at Puck's pierced nipple as his head came to rest upon Puck's shoulder watching the jock's hand stoke himself. Puck opened his eyes in the stall when a moan crept past his lips and he felt the relaxing wetness spread across his own hand.

As soon as the haze from his release had cleared, Puck found himself sitting with his hand still on a softening Puckzilla and a strange, new, and terrifying feeling growing in his chest. There weren't many times in his life that Puck could honestly say (but wouldn't) that felt scared; when his dad left and when he found out that Quinn was pregnant had been two of the most recent times. He had been beyond scared when he stood in the hospital watching Rachel's mother walk away with his daughter. But lately, the idea of staring over and finding someone who understood him or more likely the fear of not finding someone scared him. But realizing that the thought of Kurt Hummel touching him and watching him had gotten him off, this was a new kind of fear; and what really scared him was that he didn't hate it.

After the previous day, Kurt was expecting that Puck to walk him to his classes but he wasn't expecting the way that Puck tried to avoid looking him in the eye. The taller boy had been walking with his hands in his pockets all day and when Kurt didn't catch the mohawked teen momentarily eying him awkwardly out the corner of his eye, he was staring at the ground like it might open up at any moment and swallow him whole.

Luckily, after a couple of periods Mercedes had rejoined him to walk to lunch. Puck followed as he did yesterday but again broke off to go sit with the other glee jocks while Kurt and Mercedes walked to their usual table. Mercedes was indulging herself in some tots while also telling Kurt that Tina was now in on the plan to overthrow Rachel and take the solo for sectionals. Kurt, however, could feel a pair of eyes on his back distracting him and, telling himself that it was just wishful thinking on his part for it to be Puck looking at him, Kurt turned around to check but was pleased to see that it was in fact Noah Puckerman. He had definitely caught him staring. Kurt sharply retuned his gaze to Mercedes who was now giving him a look through her eyelashes that clearly read 'really?' Knowing that he was caught, Kurt immediately brought up how fabulous Mercedes looked today in her tight purple jeans and zebra print top, even if he had been trying to talk her out of loud animal print tops for months now.

"Really? I thought you would tell me it was too over the top like you usually do."

"_Loud_ is the word you are looking for Cedes. Over the top isn't always a bad thing with fashion."

"Listen white boy, I doubt you know anything at all about about being on top so you'll have to forgive me if I take some risks of my own," Mercedes said playfully. Noticing the blush rising on his cheeks, Mercedes pointed at him and giggled. Kurt leaned across the table to swat her hand down as he rolled his eyes. They fell back into talking about Rachel and how they could both agree that her fashion was neither loud nor over the top but simply atrocious.

Puck had been losing his battle to not stare at Kurt throughout lunch with his buddies; not that he would ever admit to such a thing. If anyone were to ask he would say that he was staring at Santana and Brittany who were sitting with the Cheerios a couple tables over from Kurt. Ever since his time in the bathroom earlier he couldn't get the image of Kurt looking at him with such desire out of his head. He had spent all day trying to hide the hard on in his jeans while he walked Kurt to class. It was a half a day later and he wasn't any closer to feeling comfortable with his desire than he had been in that bathroom stall. As much as he didn't have a clue what to think of the images in his head and the feelings creeping around in his lower body, he knew he didn't want to stop looking at Kurt.

With all the time he had spent watching Kurt, Puck was observing new things about the fashionable teen. He'd noticed how Kurt was definitely looser when he was around Mercedes; it was almost like he started playing up the more feminine side of himself when they were together. He strutted more with her by his side and he lost the naïve, heart on display attitude he usually had. When he was with Mercedes they often talked about other people's "inferiority," as they put it. Puck couldn't help but wonder how many times the pair had talked about him with that superior attitude.

Not even twenty minutes into the lunch period and Puck was still sneaking glances over towards Kurt when he noticed Kurt lean forward to slap playfully at Aretha's hand. It was then that Kurt's sinfully tight jeans slid down a little as his top rode up giving Puck a sneak peak at the pale and incredibly smooth toned back that was exposed before his attention was drawn away by a flash of something sparkly and pink with a black waistband. _Was that… Was Kurt wearing chick's underwear?_

Puck was stunned, he had seen his fair share of chick's lingerie before and so he considered himself an expert on the subject. Risking another glance to confirm, Puck was slightly disappointed to see that Kurt had straightened up and resumed his conversation. With a sudden panic, Puck swept his eyes around the cafeteria. If anyone else had seen that, Kurt would be in a world of pain. Satisfied that no one appeared to be staring at the pale teen in shock, Puck found himself getting angry that Kurt was putting himself in more danger and making Puckasaurus's job even harder.

It was then that Puck realized with horror that he was also more than slightly turned on at the thought of Kurt in girl's panties and that he _needed_ to know if what he saw was real or not. Stepping around the table quickly, Puck walked up to Kurt and Aretha's table and grabbed Kurt's arm, dragging him away despite his protestations and the threats from the black chick.

As soon as Puck had caught hold of Kurt's arm, not hard enough to leave a mark, he half dragged the boy out of the cafeteria and to the closest bathroom. Once inside Puck quickly locked the door and turned to face the boy inside who was rubbing the arm that Puck had been holding onto.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to be so rough. Are you okay?"

Kurt reluctantly brought his face up to look at Puck instead of his arm, and Puck saw genuine concern on his face. He had his hand extended out towards Kurt as if to stroke the limb he had manhandled but he was also keeping his distance as not to scare Kurt anymore.

The whole situation was highly confusing to Kurt. What could have possibly brought this on? Out of the blue, Puck had basically demanded that he follow him and then he locked them into a bathroom. Of all the ways Kurt had fantasized about being alone with Puck today, this hadn't been one of them.

"I'm fine," Kurt huffed. "Why don't you just tell me what was so important that you had to pull me through the halls in the middle of lunch? Have you finally come to your senses and decided to shove my head into a toilet?"

"What? No! I told you I'm not like that anymore. I just…" Puck didn't know what to say, he hadn't exactly thought this far into his plan. Honestly, there wasn't so much of a plan as he had an immediate desire to question Kurt about what he had seen. Now standing in the boy's bathroom with the dude… ugh, with_ Kurt_, Puck was suddenly hit by the absurdity of the situation. I mean, how does one ask a guy if he was wearing chick's clothes?

"Well - You just what Puck?"

Kurt crossed his arms and gave his best bitch stance while the boy squirmed. It wasn't something that Kurt was used to seeing. Puck was usually a model of confidence. The only other times he could remember seeing the boy so unsure was last year performing Beth, and two nights ago when he said goodnight to his father. Kurt felt like he had the power in the room. It was the first time since he had known the other boy that he had felt he had the upper hand.

Puck figured if this played out much longer Kurt might just storm out judging by the looks he was getting right now. If he was going to say it maybe he should just get into it.

And then an idea came to him. It was less gay if he asked him as a protector right? If Puck suddenly developed an interest in Kurt's underwear it was strange and a whole lot of homo but if he came to him as the guy protecting him that he just wanted to warn him to be careful then that was just friendly. Right?

"Look dude, I-"

"Don't call me dude!" Kurt pointed his finger at Puck in a warning.

"Sorry. Look, Kurt, I'm just trying to look out for you. I can't take care of you if you aren't at least trying to be careful."

Kurt just stared at him in confusion and shock. Obviously he'd missed something because he had no clue what the taller boy was getting at.

"First of all, it would be nice if you could elucidate me on what exactly I have done to jeopardize myself. But more importantly, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way because I do appreciate everything you've done; I don't need you to protect me. I am not a damsel in distress and I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself thank you very much."

Puck knew that he had messed up. He didn't want the dude… shit; he didn't want _Kurt_ to get defensive or offended or whatever, he was just trying to look out for him. Now he thought that Puck felt obligated or something to watch after him. That wasn't it at all; it was a two way street. Kurt could get a break from some of the shit he took every day and Puck got to feel good and change and shit.

"That's not what I meant. I don't think that you need me to watch you or anything; I just want to. I mean, I don't want to watch you, not in like a pervy kind of way. God, this is coming out all wrong." Puck tried desperately to get Kurt to understand.

Puck watched Kurt visibly relax as he uncrossed his arms and softened his stance. In fact, he had a smirk on his lips as if watching Puck squirm was entertaining. He could only imagine how funny Kurt found this situation; Puck stumbling over his words in the boy's bathroom trying to talk with the school's resident gay kid.

"Okay. Here's the deal. When I got out of juvie I told myself that I was gonna be better, I was gonna turn over a tree or whatever."

"Turn over a new leaf," Kurt interjected.

"Yeah, that. No one really gets me okay? People think that I'm just some jerk or whatever, and I don't want to be just some ass who throws people around anymore. I wanna do something good. I want to be something better. So I figured if I help you out and watch your back then it's like I am doing some kind of good here."

Kurt was mildly offended. One of his former tormentors was standing in front of him and telling him that in order to make himself feel better about the bad things he had done, he was going to use him as a tool for soothing his broken ego. It made him feel like an idiot. Kurt had thought that maybe Puck saw something in him. He had thought that if Puck wasn't interested in him sexually, at least he thought they could be friends. Why else would the school's badass put up with the hassle of being friends with the number one outcast? Well, now that he had his answer he wasn't so sure he wanted to hear it anymore.

"As much as I admire your desire to change, I am not some charity case that is here for your benefit of self-discovery. I am perfectly capable of dealing with the Neanderthals at this school; I have done so for many years as you should remember seeing as you used to be the ringleader in this circle of Hades." Seeing Puck's confused look, most likely at all the big words, Kurt added, "just so we are clear here Puck; I don't need your help. So you will have to find yourself some other community service project. Now, if you will excuse me."

Kurt made to storm past Puck but the taller boy quickly stood so that he was blocking the exit. Kurt quickly stepped back out of reach from force of habit and Puck saw the wary questioning look on the other boy's face.

"Stop doing that!" Puck lashed out making Kurt jump another step back. "I told you I'm not going to hurt you anymore. Stop flinching and looking at me like I'm one step away from turning into some monster whose gonna eat you alive or something!"

Pucks hands flew up to grasp at short hairs of his mohawk as he let out a growl of frustration. How did things get so messed up? Two days ago Kurt Hummel wasn't even someone who Puck thought of on a daily basis, but now he had to actively fight to keep the guy out of his mind. Now here he stood trying desperately to figure out what words to say to get him to understand. Words weren't exactly a strong suit for Puck, everyone knew he wasn't exactly the brightest. He usually relied on his fists or his dick to do the talking for him. There weren't a lot of situations the two couldn't handle. Maybe if he changed the topic completely he could find a way to distract Kurt from being angry.

"Are you wearing girl's panties?" Puck blurted suddenly, the look of shock on Kurt's face mirroring his own at his word vomit.

Kurt's mind went blank in that instant. He completely forgot where he was standing and with whom he was talking to. Kurt didn't realize he had been backing away from Puck until his back hit the wall behind him. Snapping back into reality he looked anywhere but the other boy's eyes for some kind of answer.

"How did you know?"

It was all Kurt could get out. He knew his face was probably screwed up with worry and fear and shame. Immediately his arms began to wrap around himself, which prompted Puck into action.

Walking forward to be able to touch Kurt, his hands grasped for Kurt's arms to keep them from going around himself. Puck was staring to recognize the gesture as a sign that Kurt was turning in on himself and closing himself off from whatever was hurting him. He needed to get his attention before Kurt stopped listneing.

"Don't freak out, I just… I don't know, Kurt. I was surprised is all. I saw them when you leaned over in the cafeteria and I just needed to know. I'm just worried that some of the other's might see and well, you know…"

Puck hoped that Kurt was hearing him because the look on the other boy's face hadn't changed; he still looked frozen in shock. Puck let go of one of Kurt's arms to reach up and touch the boy's cheek. He tried to remind himself that he was comforting Kurt because more than anything he wanted to get lost in the feeling of how soft that cheek was. He wanted to commit the feeling to memory so that he could imagine all of the other soft parts of Kurt's body the next time he was alone. Fighting to keep his hard on hidden he leaned down so that he could look Kurt in the eye.

When Puck's eyes met his, Kurt could see the softness there. It was just like it had been both days previous when Puck had picked him up off the floor. Two days in a row Kurt had seen this side of Puck that he wasn't familiar with, and every time it shocked him out of his reverie. Kurt shook off the hands that were still on him and he walked over to the sinks. Looking down rather than at his own reflection, Kurt spoke finally.

"Yes, I am wearing women's underwear." There was a pause where neither boy knew what to say. "Can you just go please? I don't think I can handle you staring at me like I'm a freak. I know that this is slightly more than you signed up for. You don't have to watch my back anymore or talk to me or _anything_."

"I'm not freaked out. This doesn't change anything. We're still cool okay?"

Puck watched as Kurt continued to shut him out and fall apart. He didn't like the feeling of having caused this. For two days now he had picked Kurt up and dusted him off when someone else knocked him down but this was his fault. There was no one to blame or protect Kurt from. This was Puck's fault, and he had to make it right. He had to do whatever it took to get that boy to look at him again with those gorgeous eyes that couldn't even be contained to one color.

"Kurt, I'm not going anywhere, and I don't think you are a freak," Puck repeated. "If anything, it's actually kind of hot. Sure, there probably aren't any other dudes in school wearing girl's stuff or whatever, but I always knew you were special. And it took me a while to see it, but you being different, it's good, kind of cool even. I like you just the way you are and I don't want you to change to try and fit in or something. If that means you wear chick's underwear then cool. I can dig that."

Puck carefully walked forward as he spoke and by the time he was finished he was standing right behind Kurt. The shorter boy hadn't looked up. In fact, he hadn't moved much at all while Puck spoke to him but Puck felt him calming down. He reached out a hand to rest once again on Kurt's back and when the boy didn't flinch, Puck smiled and took that as a sign of progress that Kurt had listened. He rubbed small circles between the boys shoulder blades until Kurt raised his head and their eyes met in the mirror.

"Thanks. That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." Kurt chuckled a little. Even if it didn't sound like a real laugh, it was something. "I never would have imagined anything like that would come from you.

Puck gave a chuckle of his own before his hand stilled on Kurt's back. "Well, honestly, two days ago there were lots of things I never thought I'd have done. So don't think you are the only one getting something out of this situation."

Kurt knew that Puck wasn't just talking about what had had said a minute ago. Puck was talking about their friendship in general. He turned to make eye contact with the taller teen, he looked into the depths of those brown eyes which he had seen so many times before and wondered how many times those eyes would surprise him again. "Are we good now?" Puck asked.

"Yes. We'll be fine."

Puck was shocked when he realized he was reaching forward to pull Kurt into his chest. Judging by the brief but noticeable way Kurt tensed, the other boy was pretty caught off guard too. The boys stood there with Puck's arms wrapped around Kurt's shoulders and the smaller boy's around Puck's waist awkwardly for a couple of minutes before they parted with matching smiles.

Puck turned first and unlocked the door, holding it open for the Kurt. The two walked back to the lunch room and back to their individual tables feeling more comfortable than ever before. Puck didn't feel the need to constantly stare at Kurt all day and Kurt no longer had to worry about Puck only making eye contact with the floor between classes.

Back in the bathroom the right stall door opened and Dave Karofsky stepped out with a confused look on his face. He couldn't have imagined half of what he had just been a witness too. No one would believe him even if he told them. However, the only one person he wanted to use this information against was one of the two who just left the bathroom. He was finally in a position to get what he wanted Dave thought with vindictive relish.

Kurt had invited Puck over to his house after school in an effort to prove to the older teen that they really were fine. Puck had followed Kurt home in his truck before the two wound up in their usual spots on the couch with the History channel playing once again. Puck sprawled out with his feet up on the table until Kurt had given him a glare making him pull off his sneakers before returning his socked feet back up on the table. Kurt continued to glare but Puck quirked an eyebrow as if to say 'you gonna call me out?' Kurt shook his head dismissively and then turned his head to watch the TV as he snuggled himself closer to Puck's side where they sat in comfortable silence for a couple of hours.

"So explain the reasoning behind the glittery underwear? Is it only glitter ones that you like, or do you have a thing for like flowers and cupcakes too?"

Kurt could tell that the boy was poking fun at him again and when he turned his head up to meet Puck's eyes he pulled a tight lipped smile and cocked his head at the other boy.

"That's something for me to know and you to find out. If you are brave enough, that is." Kurt quipped back with a raised brow.

Kurt couldn't believe how bold he was being. He had longed to tell someone his secret and could hardly believe that it was Puck who had found him out. Granted, Puck was probably still very wrong about most of his assumptions, but this was more freedom than Kurt had ever felt before. He couldn't help but enjoy the ability to joke about his situation. He also kept hearing Puck say the words "if anything, it's kind of hot" in his head. Those six words had become Kurt's favorite in the English language. Those words gave him hope that his life in Lima might not be as limited as he had imagined it would be.

"Are you questioning my badassness?"

"Oh no, I wouldn't dream of it, _Noah_." His deliberate use of Puck's given name had the desired affect that Kurt had hoped it would.

"That's it. You are gonna regret that Hummel."

Puck pushed Kurt down onto his back on the couch as he tickled his sides, leaving the smaller teen breathless with laughter as Kurt squirmed and smacked at Puck's hands as he half-heartedly tried to get away. Kurt was secretly enjoying the feel of the other boy's hands on his body and as Puck's weight came to rest more surely on top of him Kurt realized that he could _feel_ Puck's enjoyment as well. Both teens locked eyes as they simultaneously became aware of their _situation_. Kurt was flushed and breathing hard from the exertion while Puck was holding his breath and moving very slowly towards the boy beneath him. Kurt closed his eyes feeling Puck's breath when it finally ghosted over his lips indicating their closeness. Just as their lips were about to make contact, the front door opened with Burt calling in to them.

"Kurt, I'm home. We have to be ready to leave for Carol's house to have Friday night dinner in half and hour. I am going to jump in the shower to clean off first."

When Burt walked into the living room he found Kurt sitting back against one of the arms of the couch while Puck quickly gathered his sneakers and shoved them on his feet. Puck walked Past Burt with a quick "Mr. Hummel" before the door shut behind him. Kurt turned to face his father, face covered pink from his blushing.

"Hi dad." He called breathlessly.

Burt looked between the door and his son trying to figure out what was going on. He had a couple of ideas but he was trying really hard to push them out of his head, he wasn't ready to think about his kid fooling around on the couch with some punk who could barely string a sentence together in his presence. It didn't exactly give off a good impression, Burt thought as he took a deep breath and turned to walk down the hall to shower before leaving for dinner.

"Be ready to go in half and hour," He called back.

Kurt stood shakily and walked down to his room where he sat on his bed and tried to wrap his mind around what had nearly happened. What did it mean? Kurt was pretty sure that Puck had been flirting with him, but Puck was straight… right? Then again, Puck had obviously been physically interested, but was he aroused by Kurt or the knowledge that Kurt liked to dress in women's underwear? It all came down to the question of whether Puck was interested in Kurt, the boy who he had grown up torturing or if Puck was finally seeing behind Kurt's facade and was attracted to the person he hid from the rest of the world. Considering that Puck didn't know the whole story behind the underwear, Kurt was even more confused; where did that leave them?

Puck was sitting in his truck by the side of the road a block away from Kurt's house wondering much the same thing. He gripped the steering wheel tightly as he squeezed his eyes shut and focused on breathing. Kurt was a dude, right? He didn't like to be _called_ a dude, and he wore chick's underwear, and he didn't really act like any other guy that Puck knew but he was still a dude, _right?_ Puck wasn't into dudes; he never looked at any other guys like that. "I'm not gay!" Puck shouted to no one slamming his fists against the steering wheel. _No_, he reasoned with himself, _I'm not gay, it's just that Kurt is like really girly; he's got those really soft looking lips and then there was the underwear thing…_ Puck tried to reassure himself, deliberately not thinking about the hardness that had poked into his own moments before. He sat in his car arguing with himself for almost an hour before he finally started the car and drove home sure of one thing only; he was more fucking confused now than ever before.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So I appologize for this chapter talking so very long. I had a very rough couple of months and eventually writing just became difficult, as did most things. However, things are back on track now with life and so writing is going well again. The good news is that the next 2 chapters are done! I still have to edit and do some breif rewtrites but they are completed and I love them. A lot of stuff is going to progress in the coming chapters and I hope that those of you who haven't given up on me (lol) enjoy the ride as much as I did. Next chapter should be up relatively soon and hopefully there won't be any more month plus long breaks. Thanks again all! Reviews make my life happy which makes me want to write so let me know what you think!**

Burt spent all day Saturday watching Kurt flit around the shop like a hummingbird. The kid was singing and dancing his way through oil changes and the smile that had been plastered to his face throughout dinner at Carole's on Friday night hadn't faltered for a second. He had no clue what he walked in on Friday evening but whatever it was had left his kid feeling on top of the moon, and for that he was mainly thankful. A small part of him couldn't help but worry if it would just mean that this Puck guy would hurt him more in the future because Kurt had feelings for him now.

When they made it home from the shop Kurt showered and changed and then settled into his new favorite spot in the house; the couch in the TV room. That was another new development Burt was thankful for. Prior to Puck showing up, Kurt spent the majority of the time locked away in his basement bedroom listening to musicals and, most likely, modeling outfits. Now, Kurt seemed physically attached to that couch. Burt was happy that this new development made it easier to spend time with his kid, despite the fact that it meant watching musicals and that Top Project Model or whatever it was called, but they were compromises he was more than willing to make considering the trade-off.

By Sunday night, however, Burt couldn't help but be concerned. It was normal for Kurt to be physically attached to his phone and so he wasn't surprised to hear the constant beeping and clicking emitting from the device as Kurt continuously texted, but from his new vantage point, Burt could see that Kurt was only corresponding with Mercedes. Again, nothing unusual, but Burt wasn't stupid or blind. He could also see the slight hope flare in Kurt's eyes whenever a new message was received only for it to dull a bit when the sender clearly wasn't that Puck kid.

That night, for the first time all weekend, Kurt's giddiness took on a nervous quality. Burt could only assume that meant he wasn't sure what to expect when he saw Puck tomorrow in school. Burt debated with himself if he should ask what was going on but he didn't want to risk losing Kurt to the basement again. He figured being able to keep and eye on him was better than sitting here alone wondering what was happening out of his sight. Kurt wasn't one to share how he was feeling and so if Burt couldn't see it and read it from the look on his face, he was left mainly guessing.

Kurt's phone stopped buzzing by the time dinner was finished on Sunday and Burt was feeling tired from the apparently contagious nerves radiating off of his kid. When Kurt leaned in on the couch to kiss Burt's cheek and say goodnight, he was relieved for the break in emotional turmoil from his kid's side of the couch. He was slightly let down by the change in Kurt's demeanor from Friday night to now but he knew Kurt was one to get worked up quickly. Maybe this Puck would straighten everything out tomorrow and Kurt would be back to his new smiling self. He hoped.

When Kurt got to school on Monday morning he was disappointed to find Puck's truck already parked but the jock nowhere to be seen. Could the tension from Friday night be getting to Puck just as much as it was getting to him? Kurt made an effort to school his emotions into his usual mask before doing a quick hair check in the rear view mirror and stepping out into the parking lot. As he walked towards the front doors of the school, Kurt glanced over at the dumpster and found himself reminiscing about the consistency he once had where the mohawked jock was concerned. Now that Puck wasn't throwing him in every morning and had a complete personality shift it left Kurt feeling at oddly not at ease. He didn't like not knowing what to expect.

Puck was so unpredictable that Kurt was dizzy from the whiplash. Puck was going to kiss him on Friday; Kurt was sure of it. He knew this situation was different from his previous wishful thinking about Finn. What was happening with Puck was real though, the touches, the conversation, and the trust. Kurt may have wanted all of those things with Finn last year but with Puck he actually had them. They came out of nowhere and shocked the hell out of him but either way they were still there. Kurt knew Puck felt something for him, if only he could get Puck to stop taking one step forward and two steps back then they could figure this thing out. Maybe they were just friends, or maybe they weren't even that but without an actual conversation about where they stood Kurt didn't have the slightest clue.

Kurt kept his eyes alert as he walked through the halls to his locker hoping for the sight of a strip of hair to catch his eye and break what was the usual morning crush of humanity. He was so busy watching for Puck to make an appearance that he didn't even notice Karofsky leaning on the wall across from his locker practically licking his lips with anticipation.

As Kurt was putting his books into his locker and gathering his first period French assignments, he felt a breath on the back of his neck. Immediately his pulse quickened and he got excited to finally see Puck but when he turned around his grin faltered and he blanched.

"I hope you missed me over the weekend Hummel because I have a feeling we are going to have a _real_ fun week."

Karofsky had gotten so close that Kurt could smell the bacon on his breath from breakfast. He felt one of Karofsky's hands come to rest on the center of his chest and shove him back into the lockers deliberately but softly. It wasn't one of his usual blows meant to do damage. This was obviously meant as a tease, a precursor to what was to come. Kurt felt a shiver of terror run through his body at the thought that Karofsky actually had plans for this week. Karofsky never seemed to do anything out of premeditation; he was more of an opportunist and would take advantage to shove Kurt while passing him in the hallway, but never before had Kurt gotten the impression that Karofsky had actually sought him out. Even that day after glee could have been a purely coincidental meeting while Karofsky left football practice. This idea of Karofsky actually planning something though made Kurt feel frightened in a whole new way; he hoped Puck would show his face for more than one reason now.

The bell rang jarring Kurt from his own thoughts and fear. Noticing for the first time that Karofsky was no longer in front of him, he grabbed his things as quickly as possible and took off at a brisk pace for the safety of his classroom. His usual seat left empty and a friendly smile from his French teacher greeted him. Kurt sat down trying to get his nerves in order to be able to focus on today's lesson. He used to be able to do this. Every day the hallways were like a battlefield but the things that kept him going were his classes and glee. He was proud of his good grades, and he counted on them to help him escape Lima as soon as he could. Now though, his mind was constantly occupied. If it wasn't Karofsky making the hallways a living hell, it was this game of stop and go with Puck distracting him through half of his classes. Kurt wondered how long he could put up with this and how long it would continue to be worth it just to have someone know his secrets.

The weekend did nothing to help Puck's confusion. He promised himself that after Friday he wasn't going to touch himself to thoughts of Kurt again. When Kurt kept making appearances in his fantasies every time he closed his eyes he gave up on touching himself at all. That worked until he went to sleep Sunday night. Finally after two days without release his brain took over and gave his body what it craved. Usually when Kurt appeared in his mind it was all about the looks he had that made Puck groan with pleasure. It was this look of pure lust that made Kurt's innocent face more gorgeous than usual. However, Sunday night in his sleep Puck's mind conjured up a scene much more pleasurable.

_Puck was sitting at the foot of his bed, naked with_ _Kurt was standing between his open legs looking down at him wearing nothing but one of his football jerseys. One hand was tugging the oversized jersey down to his mid thigh while the other hand traced the line of his jaw down to his neck using the back of his fingers. His head tilted to the side to stretch out his neck pulling the soft skin taught. He had his eyes closed with a peaceful expression on his face, lips slightly parted. When he reached the neck of the jersey he pulled down with his hand on the deep V to reveal a soft pink nipple hard and waiting to be sucked. _

_He held that position for a couple of seconds before he righted his head and opened his eyes making contact with Puck's. He leaned forward and let go of the jersey by his neck to push Puck back into a laying position on the bed. Puck pushed himself up further to give Kurt more room to join him. _

_Kurt crawled onto the bed and up Puck's body until he was close enough to lean down and press their lips together. Kurt tasted like heaven as his tongue teased at Puck's lower lip. He pulled back when Puck opened his mouth to grant him access, and instead of kissing him some more Kurt leaned down to tease Pucks pierced nipple with light flicks and swirls. As he did this Kurt settled into a sitting position straddling Puck's thighs, his hands coming to rest on Pucks hip bones as he held him down in place with his weight while he continued to tease his tongue across Puck's chest to the other neglected nipple. Puck could feel the tightness growing in his groin as his cock stood at attention pressing up into the fabric covering Kurt's stomach. _

_Finally, when Puck felt like he might burst from the anticipation, Kurt sat up once more. His mouth was wet and pink from playing with Puck's nipples and kissing his chest, lips swollen like he had just given the best fucking blow job ever. He pressed his lips together in a smirk at Puck below him debauched and wide eyed. Kurt reached one hand to wrap his delicate fingers around Puck's dick. Puck almost screamed at the feeling of soft skin, much softer than his own, wrapping around him. Kurt started out slowly and gently, the ring of his fist loose and teasing. He whimpered as he touched Puck like it wasn't only getting Puck off but as if it was driving Kurt wild too. When Puck opened his eyes again from being clenched shut in ecstasy he found Kurt looking hungrier than before. He was licking his lips and the hand that wasn't on Puck was lifting the jersey to fondle that pink nipple from before. _

_It was when Kurt's eyes left the sight of a quite large Puckzilla to regain contact with Puck's as he leaned forward to take the head of Puck's cock into his mouth that everything went black. _

Puck opened his eyes; sitting in his truck feeling the way he had Sunday night when he woke from the dream minus the wetness that accompanied the original showing. He wasn't sure what to make of this whole situation but he knew he was scared. Hanging out with Kurt had made him feel great. It was satisfying his need to change, his need to be different from the jerk he had been before. Taking care of Kurt felt good but the idea of Kurt "taking care of him" wasn't something he could handle right now. If Burt hadn't walked in on Friday they would have kissed, and Puck couldn't decide whether he was relieved or mad about that fact. On the one hand he wanted to feel those lips against his so bad but on the other, well, it was that same desire that was throwing him off.

Puck had never once looked at a guy before and thought anything remotely sexual about them. Dudes were gross for the most part. Puck was on the football team so he saw his fair share of athlete's foot, hairy backs, sweat stains, and basic guy stuff. No, he wasn't interested in having intimate knowledge of any dudes junk other than his own. Puckzilla was impressive as shit and it wasn't gay to recognize that and be fucking proud too. It wasn't like he was sneaking a peek at any of the other dude in the locker room anyway to notice if their shit was as impressive as his. He'd just assume he was superior to them in all ways and leave it at that. So this sudden desire to get all sweaty with Hummel was freaking him the hell out.

Puck looked at the clock on the dashboard and knew that if he sat in his truck much longer Kurt would show up and then he would be forced to have a really awkward conversation about how Kurt kept distracting him with his non dude qualities and it needed to stop. He grabbed his book bag and threw the car door open striding towards the school with a mission to find Santana. Sure, he knew she wasn't good for him. She treated him just like the grade A fuck up everyone else did but he would have to shove that aside right now because he needed to prove to himself as soon as possible that being the good guy for Kurt didn't mean he was gay.

Santana was leaning against her locker talking to Brittany with their pinkies intertwined as usual between them. Seeing the two of them left Puck rolling his eyes at the irony of both girls being total sluts with every guy in school, and yet being so obviously into each other. Puck had always known that he was a filler until Santana's feelings for Brittany became obvious to her, and he was fine with that but right now he needed her. He walked up giving her his best head nod and sexy stare.

"Sup. Wanna get out of here and find someplace more private?"

Puck quirked an eyebrow just in case she didn't get the idea, not like they ever talked for any reason besides sex before.

"Really, you think that how this is gonna go? Let me tell you something Puckerman, you've been ignoring my sexts for like a week now. Ever since you've gotten back from juvie you've been up Hummel's butt like he's got you on a leash. I figured the slammer just turned you gay but here you are thinking you can just ignore me when I offer my services to fix whatever homo virus you caught and then come a crawling when it works for _you_. I so don't think so. Come on Britt, I'm feeling the need for some sweet lady kisses to erase the memory of this conversation from my mind."

Santana snapped her hips turning away from him and pulled Brittany away after her leaving Puck standing there with a pinched expression on his face as he got eyed by the few people who had been in close enough distance to hear the interaction. He knew it was going to be hard to get Santana to talk him and he figured he would have to soften her up a little but he wasn't feeling patient. He needed this now. Puck let out a huff of air and ran his hand over his head. This was going to be so much harder than he thought.

Puck spent the day with a dual mission, try to get back into Santana's good graces and try to stay clear of Kurt. Since he had been walking Kurt to class for the past week, he had a pretty good idea of what routes to avoid which made that part of his day easy. However, getting past Santana's defenses was a slightly harder task. He tried to carry her books for her between classes, texting her to tell her how good she was looking today, and when that didn't work what he would like to do to her sexy body. Nothing seemed to be working until thankfully glee rolled around. Brittany walked into the room and let go of Santana's hand to go sit by Artie. Puck watched as Santana's face went from happy to hurt in point three seconds. Suddenly Puck's mind went from worrying about how glee was the first time he would see Kurt all day to thinking that this was his opening.

Puck waited as Santana's eyes swept the room for a place to sit far away from Britt. When she finally caught him looking her lips formed a tight line and she steeled her expression from hurt to pissed off. However, after a second she started to make her way towards him. When she sat down she threw her bag on the floor between their chairs and turned to face him. She leaned in a whispered harshly into his ear.

"I still think you are a homo for Hummel but I'm going to be in need of your services for the next five minutes, got it?"

"That's-"

With that her hand snaked up the back of his chair and she pulled him into a devouring kiss cutting off anything he had to say. Things between the two of them had always tended to be hard and fast, all about taking what you needed without really caring much beyond making sure the other person got off but even after a solid minute of Santana's lips on his Puck was left wondering where that old feeling was. Sure, she still tasted the same, she still used the same techniques (which were definitely well practiced and perfected), and she still made the same noises. Everything about this kiss was typical for the two of them except for the way it left Puck wanting less rather than more.

Puck shut his eyes and tried to throw himself into the kiss. If he made it obvious that he wasn't enjoying himself Santana would be even harder to deal with than she had been all day. He tried to picture some of their best of moments, her wailing while riding him still wearing her cheerios skirt, him going boneless after the first time she blew him from her obvious skills in that department, and even that time she invited Brittany to join them (even if it meant basically watching the two of them and taking care of himself). But even bringing up their best times just pointed out what was wrong with their relationship.

Santana was a machine with him. When she was really into it she didn't seem to really care that it was with Puck as much as that it was good. When she gave him phenomenal head it was all about the technique not the intensity or the passion, and when she invited Brittany to add to the pleasure he wound up feeling like a third wheel. Santana made it pretty clear that their relationship was about orgasms and not about desire. It wasn't anything like what he had with Kurt. The way Kurt looked at him like he was seeing him for the first time, the way he relaxed into Puck's touch like it was sucking out all of the hurt, and the way he was breathing heavy on Friday all because Puck was leaning in to kiss him.

Kurt gave up on the hope of running into Puck in the hall by the time the day was half over. He figured that Puck knew how to avoid him by now, and he settled for the fact that he would have to wait until glee to confront him about what was going on between them. He wasn't sure how Puck could go from telling him indirectly that he was hot to making every effort to avoid seeing his face during school. It was obvious that Puck wasn't dealing with his feelings for Kurt all too well or he wouldn't have suddenly disappeared. Kurt was caught between being excited about the fact that it meant that Puck probably had feelings for him and being frustrated that Puck probably interpreted those feelings to be of a homosexual nature. Puck was the first person to finally start to see beyond that and it hurt him to think that Puck could classify what was going on between them as gay, no matter how it might look from the outside.

When the bell for his last class rang he took in a deep breath and shouldered his bag. He had been preparing all day for this moment and he still had no clue what he was going to say when he was faced with the other boy. He had imagined all kinds of things from _don't worry I'm really a girl_, to _well you're not really gay because I don't really want to be a guy_, to _why do we have to label this thing that we have_. He was pretty sure none of those would get him anywhere close to making Puck understand. Why did this have to be so hard? Kurt wished more than anything that he could just be like any other girl. Well, any other well dressed, quick witted, better than everyone else in this small hick town, girl.

It was with that thought that Kurt walked into the choir room with a smile on his face, prepared to face Puck, except for the fact that he wasn't expecting Puck's face to be attached to Santana. Kurt felt like he had been slapped. He couldn't tell whether he wanted to scream or cry but he was determined not to lose control of himself and let everyone see his emotions. Other than the initial gasp of shock he managed to pull himself together in time as Puck pulled back from Santana. They both turned to look at him after they heard him there.

He watched as Santana got up and walked away, leaving Kurt to just look into Puck's eyes. He could see the guilt reflected in Puck's eyes and it only served to make him feel worse as it was fairly obvious that Puck knew what he had done if he could look that guilty. Kurt silently held Puck's gaze until Mercedes walked in behind him and took his arm to lead him to sit with her.

Puck pulled away from the kiss with a wet sound at the parting of their lips. He looked at Santana's face as she rolled her eyes at him.

"What now?"

There was a soft gasp from the door and both Santana and Puck snapped their heads to look in that direction to find Kurt standing there looking like someone hit him with a slushy from the pinched, pained look in his eyes.

"Oh, right. Your boyfriend is here now so I'll just go find another place to sit."

Santana got up and strutted away to sit in a chair in the center of the room but Puck's eyes never left Kurt's. He felt like he wanted to die. The look of betrayal on Kurt's face was all because of him and it was just like it had felt the day before in the bathroom. The idea that he was the cause of Kurt's pain was making his skin crawl and his blood boil. He wanted to get up and comfort Kurt but that was what got them in this position to begin with. His comforting Kurt had led to him being unable to stop caring about Kurt which was leaving him with feelings he had never had before. So instead of getting up and going to Kurt, he watched as Kurt was dragged away by Mercedes to sit on the other side of the room.

Puck kept looking up throughout practice to find Kurt looking at either him or Santana. Puck could see that Kurt wasn't paying any attention to Schue giving directions from the front, or Rachel's latest rant about being ready for sectionals, or even Mercedes trying to get his attention. He just kept looking at the two of them as if that would somehow explain what he had just seen and make him understand why Puck would do that to him.

When glee was over Kurt couldn't have run from the room any faster. By the time Puck made it out to his truck Kurt was gone. Puck knew that he had made a mess of this whole thing. In the past he would have just shrugged it off and chalked it up to his badass nature but he realized that the consequence of being this good guy for Kurt meant that he started to expect _himself_ to be a good guy too. Puck wasn't used to feeling bad about his fuck ups but this time it felt horrible. It was like one of those rare times when his mother skipped yelling at him and just fixed him with a pained expression and a disappointed look. It made him want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world.

Burt came home and was slightly surprised to see the street in front of his house lacking a certain beat up pickup. He had to fight back the feeling of relief that he wouldn't walk into his house to find some boy on the couch with his kid again. Instead, he just hoped that this didn't mean he had a surly teen waiting for him inside.

When he pushed the door open and walked into the house calling Kurt's name he got a mumbled response from the TV room. He walked to the room and found Kurt curled up on the couch in a pair of loose fitting silk lounge pants and a too big sweatshirt with a baby blue knit blanket around him. The blanket was made by his mother and had hung on the side of his crib when he was a baby. It was the surefire sign that Kurt was hurting and needed comfort. Burt let out a long breath and walked over to the couch shoving Kurt's legs over to sit down next to him. Immediately Kurt was curled into his side and breathing in the smell of the garage from his day at work. He noticed that Kurt started doing this not too long after his mother died. When he made Kurt go back to school and he went to work it became a pattern that they would return home and Kurt would hug him tight breathing him in and asking him what he did at work. Usually it was the parent asking how their child's day went but Kurt wasn't too keen on the idea of leaving Burt's side to go back to school at first. He figured as long as Kurt knew what he was doing while they weren't together it made him feel safer.

After Kurt got situated and Burt had been rubbing his shoulder for a couple of minutes he tried to get him to talk. He knew from experience that the glassy emotionless look on his face meant that Kurt was going to fight him on it but eventually he would wear him down.

"Buddy, talk to me. What happened?"

Silence.

"Kurt, you need to talk to me kid. Does this have to do with that boy Puck? Did he do something to you?"

Kurt closed his eyes tightly at the mention of the other kid's name. Burt wanted to kill the boy. He knew he should have had a talk with him last week before he had the chance to run off one of those nights.

"What did he do Kurt? You need to tell me so I know what I'm dealing with here. It scares the crap out of me when you get like this kid. You have to help me out here."

Burt knew it was kind of a low blow but he also knew that the one thing Kurt worried about more than himself was Burt and his health. If he told Kurt that he was getting worked up because Kurt wouldn't talk he knew that Kurt wouldn't like that one bit. Sure enough Kurt's face went from blank to worried and he turned his face up to look at his father.

"I'm sorry dad, it's nothing. I'm fine, really."

"I don't believe that for one second. Now, why don't you just tell me what happened and we can get through this together."

Burt watched as Kurt held his breath for a second, contemplating as his resolve ran out. Finally he sighed in defeat and started talking.

"It's just hard to feel so alone all the time. I know that we have a plan for me to go to school in New York and that it's not that far away from now but it still just hurts sometimes feeling like no one really understands me here."

"I know, Kurt. It's not fair that you have to go through all of this just to be who you are." Burt would never let on that he knew Kurt wasn't even being totally honest with him. "But you have me. You know that I love you no matter what. You are my kid and I wouldn't dream of ever wishing you were different because I love you, because you are mine. We are a family Kurt. I'll always be here for you." Burt was hoping he had broken Kurt down enough by now to continue. "Now, what did this Puck do?"

Kurt looked a little reluctant again but he eventually shifted closer into his father's embrace.

"He has been helping me out at school recently by watching out for me and I thought that something was happening with us. It's not the same as it was with Finn and Sam, dad. I know that I have an impeccable track record with choosing the worst crushes but this was different. Puck wasn't afraid to be close to me. He-" Kurt stopped and turned slightly red. "He wasn't afraid to touch me. I swear I wasn't making it all up with him dad."

"Calm down Buddy. It's okay. I believe you. Look Kurt, this is part of living in this town that isn't fair. You are brave enough to know who you are and to be it unashamed. There are obviously other people in this town who are different but who may not be as comfortable with the idea as you. They may not be able to get past what other people think of them as easily. I know it's really unfair and that it hurts to have the possibility of something ripped away from you like that but just try to think of how much better you have it than Puck. You know who you are, and you know that, if nothing else, I am always here for you. He's probably scared right now because he doesn't know what to make of his feelings."

Kurt smiled up at him and Burt's heart broke a little. How had this kid that he raised become so grown up? A child would throw a fit about how unfair the world was and how they wanted it their way now. Kurt just looked up at him and smiled like he understood that the future was only so far away and that he was lucky to have Burt there for him. Burt wondered how much he had helped Kurt grow up and how much Kurt had helped him grow as well. There was a joint sense of gratitude that the two of them shared.

They sat on the couch together for a good part of the evening. Eventually Kurt wrapped the blanket around Burt too and they fell asleep together. Wrapped in the blanket that Kurt's mother had made, they were able to rest in the comfort of knowing that they always had each other. They were family, and that was never going to change.

Puck came home to an empty house after school that day, but even without anyone home the space felt too crowded. He walked up to his room and shut the door to hide behind the familiar four walls. He fell down onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling wishing that it would just fall down and put him out of his misery. He spent all weekend trying to avoid thoughts of Kurt, and the whole day today trying to convince himself that he could distract himself with his old life but it was obvious now that all he had succeeded in doing was hurting Kurt more and in turn hurting himself as well. _Sometimes_, Puck thought, _sometimes I wish I were just a little bit smarter._

Now that he knew there was no way he was going to get Kurt off his mind he knew he had to deal with the situation. Only he had just made it that much harder for himself because Kurt wasn't going to be open to hearing him out anytime soon. He knew he needed to find some way to get through to him, to get past all of Kurt's 'princess' attitude but it wasn't going to be easy.

He wasn't sure how long he lay there staring at the ceiling above him trying to think of something before his mother called him for dinner. He hadn't even heard her come in with his sister but apparently it was late enough that they were home and she had cooked too. Puck fought the urge to say fuck it, knowing that it would just mean he had another person bitching at him, and went down to eat. He barely heard a word that either his mother or his sister said throughout the meal, and he was relieved when his mother got up to start clearing her place meaning that they were free to go.

He had been sitting on his bed for another 15 minutes when he couldn't take the silence anymore. He walked over to his iPod to put on some music, and that was when the idea came to him. He and Kurt weren't like other people. They didn't always know how to talk about their feelings; that much was obvious about this whole mess they were in. They could sit on a couch for hours and not say more than ten sentences between them. They were much more comfortable singing about how they felt. He figured if there was one way to get Kurt to listen to him now it would be to sing to him. It didn't hurt that he knew a dude with a guitar was basically the musical version of sex heaven for chicks and gay dudes. Now all he had to do was find out exactly what he wanted to say and what song would get it across. Puck scrolled through his iPod looking at his songs thinking he had a lot of work to do if he was going to win Kurt back but that he was more than willing to put in the effort.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Chapter 6. Thank you lovelies for sticking around. I was hoping to get this up sooner but as usual life takes its course. If I can finish editing Chapter 7 today as well then it'll be up tomorrow. Otherwise I should still get it up by Friday. Chapter 8 is also halfway written which means that posts should be at a good pace for the next week to two weeks. Enjoy!**

**I have finally found my timeline. This whole fic starts taking place after the Britney/Brittany episode. Grilled Cheesus still happened so Burt had the heart attack. I am pushing up Puck's juvie date so that he wasn't there for it all of Grilled Cheesus. That's why he only heard the fallout of Kurt's dad. Duets happened but again Puck was missing. So this all happens before Puck gets out of juvie and I hope that's not too confusing. I know it kind of skips a lot but I'm not too worried about it. They are all still cannon and all still act like themselves just there isn't as strict of a episode end point and fic start point. But I'm the author so… deal.**

_**WARNING: This Chapter contains a non consensual scene of a sexual nature. This is the only thing I will really warn for sex wise. Other than that you should assume that when they get there Kurt and Puck will be having sexy times and it will be as detailed as I decide it should be. Okay, for reals done with this long as author's note now**_

Kurt knew that some people used food as a method of comfort and they went straight for the ice cream when things were bad, some people locked up all the food they had and starved themselves for a little while. Other people might just hide in bed when they were upset and hope that sleep would leave them seeing through different eyes when they woke. Well, Kurt wasn't about to mess with his weight, and he knew better than to think that his father would for one second entertain him sleeping the day away. No, Kurt Hummel had his own reaction to being overcome with sadness, which was why he was standing in front of his full length mirror wearing a sweatshirt (the only one he owned) that was intentionally too large and skintight jeans. If Kurt could stay at home all day, the jeans would be gone and he would lounge in front of the TV in his room in nothing but the sweatshirt and a pair of silky underwear with his mothers blanket wrapper around him while his father was at work.

The idea of going back to school today and facing yet another day of looking Puck in the face and trying not to think how stupid he had been about the whole situation didn't sit well with him. He knew that his wardrobe today would get him a couple of looks from people like Tina and Mercedes who had come to expect nothing short of fabulous but he hoped he could just brush them off with a simple excuse of waking up late.

As Kurt drove to school he relished in the last bit of silence he would likely get until he returned home. His iPod stayed in his bag rather than being plugged into the radio, which made Kurt realize just how much this thing with Puck was getting to him. Kurt Hummel was never at a loss for a song to fit his mood. He hated Puck for taking that away from him too because now there wasn't a song he could think of to fix his problems or calm his racing thoughts.

When he pulled into the parking lot he saw Puck leaning against his pickup with hands in his pockets and a scowl pulled tight across his face. Kurt rolled his eyes knowing that Puck was waiting for him. Did he really think that after yesterday Kurt still wanted to play this game of "come here, now go away?"

When he pulled into a spot he saw Puck brace himself against his truck before pushing off and making his way towards the Navigator. Kurt tried to grab his bag and stride across the lot as quickly as possible but Puck had longer legs that made it easier for the running back to catch up. He grabbed the front door to the school holding it open for Kurt before he could do it himself. Kurt in turn fixed him with a stare that made Puck take a step back but other than that he held firm in his grasp, not totally faltering. Kurt gave him credit for that at least.

Puck kept silent all the way to Kurt's locker, knowing that he was going to get his head bitten off whenever he decided to say something. He could see that Kurt was still pissed and, okay, he had reason to be. Having Santana play nurse to his broken ego and confused mind was not really fair to either of them, and he felt bad about it. He felt even worse today seeing Kurt's clothes. He had never seen Kurt wear something so simple and void of personality before. Today's outfit left Puck wanting to do anything to get Kurt wearing his regular stylish duds again. This being Kurt meant that Puck had an awfully long way to go if he was going to make up for it. He just hoped that he could soften Kurt up enough by the end of the day to actually listen to him when he sang in glee.

As he watched Kurt sifting through his locker to put away everything but the books for his first couple of periods, Puck worked up the courage to speak.

"Look, I'm sorry okay. I know I messed up but I didn't really know what to do after Friday. Can't we just-"

Kurt slammed his locker shut and turned abruptly so that he was facing Puck. Even though he was a good three inches shorter Puck felt like he was towering over him when he spoke.

"No. Whatever you want to do… Just… No." Kurt fisted the strap of his bag across his chest. "You think that you can keep doing this to me and I'll just take it every time? You keep saying that you want to help me and be a good person for once but guess what, this isn't helping and you're an ignoramus if you can't see that. It certainly doesn't help me to have you being my friend one second and then…" Kurt knew that kissing Santana had nothing to do with him being Kurt's _friend_ but neither of them had actually acknowledged this thing between them yet, and he wasn't going to be the first to bring it up. "It's just better if you keep your distance, okay. You're not always going to be there to protect me from every neanderthal who decides to get a little too tactile in his distaste for me, and honestly I don't want you to fight all my battles for me anyway. So you're relieved of your duty as protector of the town outcast. Now, I'd really appreciate it if you would vacate my line of vision because I would hate for you to stay there long enough that your horrendous mock of a hairstyle becomes permanently engrained in my mind. My nightmares about it thus far have probably caused irreparable damage as it is." Kurt had purposefully spoke quickly enough to not be interrupted but Puck looked like he was working up the resolve to make his own case and Kurt really couldn't take that right now. It took all of his effort to hold it together this long in front of Puck. He knew it was the lowest blow he could make but he was desperate. "Besides, this should be easy for you. Isn't leaving what Puckerman men do best?"

Puck felt the blood drain out of his face and his knew his mouth was hanging open a little too low for it to be normal but he didn't know Kurt had that in him. Kurt was about as bitchy as Santana on a bad day but usually that was just him being defensive from all the jerks he faced every day. This was different, intentionally mean. Sure, Puck knew that he was probably just hurt and lashing out but still Kurt had to know that was the worst possible thing to say to him, and he didn't even hold his punch a little bit. The pinched look on Kurt's face told him that he was at least aware of what he had done and he felt bad about it.

Puck figured that nothing was getting better from this point, at least not right now. He turned around to walk down the hall and out of the same door they had just come in a couple of minutes ago. If this was how it was going to between them, maybe he would just leave Kurt be for the day and hope that by the time he returned for glee he would have calmed down a little on his own. Not to mention that after that beating, Puck was going to need a little time to lick his wounds and get back some of his courage. Kurt was one of very few people who actually scared Puck. It was something about not wanting to let him down but being afraid it was inevitable and he couldn't let that show when he tried to get Kurt back. He had to be at the top of his game.

Neither of them had been aware that there was someone watching their interaction with a mischievous smile on his face. Karofsky had hoped that this little rift between Puck and Kurt would let him have some time to put his plans into action but Kurt was making this too easy. The venom that he watched Kurt throw at Puck causing him to storm off, and then the look of hurt and longing in Kurt's eyes after he left told Karofsky all that he needed to know. He watched Kurt force his face back into its usual mask and walked off in the opposite direction. Yes, this was perfect. Kurt was so fragile right now that he would most likely be too tired to even fight him off. Plus he was vulnerable enough that he could probably make Kurt believe that he deserved what was coming or that it was his only real option at this point. Karofsky couldn't even try to fight back the laugh that came out.

Just as he expected, Mercedes met Kurt with a questioning look and a quirked eyebrow when she joined him in the hall between first and second class.

"White boy, what the hell happened to you?"

"Don't even get me started, Cedes. I got up today to find my alarm never went off to wake me leaving me with twenty minutes to either shower and moisturize or put together a fabulous outfit. Obviously the shower and skincare routine won out and I only had the patience to find a good pair of jeans before running to the car."

It was a lie but he knew with the right amount of eye rolling and exasperated breathing she wouldn't think too far into it to know that he picked his outfits out the night before.

"Aww, sorry baby. Well even the fashionably gifted have to have an off day every now and then I guess. I'm sure that you'll more than make up for it with something fierce tomorrow and no one will even remember this little slip-up."

She grinned at him and linked their arms dragging him off towards their class talking the whole way about how her solo for sectionals this year had to be extra jaw dropping to make up for last years fiasco which led to Rachel being the last minute soloist.

"I will admit that your Dreamgirls rendition would have been infinitely better than the version those reform school girls gave. What did you have in mind for this year? Maybe you should team up with Santana again. Your duet was sadly underappreciated in the all too obvious favor of Barbie and Ken's predictable pairing."

Kurt was proud that he managed to not flinch at his own mention of Santana.

"She would help me land a couple more votes to overthrow Rachel's attempt to hog the spotlight again. I'll think about it but I'm not ready to share any of my shine yet either. Did you have anything prepared for this week's glee assignment?"

Kurt realized that after yesterday's turn of events he was completely unaware of anything that happened in glee the previous day, including the theme for this week.

"No, I'm taking my time to think of an appropriate selection. What about you?"

"I don't know yet. I have a couple of ideas but I'm still debating. For once I think Mr. Schue's idea isn't all that bad. I'm just trying to decide when 'finding my inner voice' as he said, if that would be more Beyoncé or Jennifer Hudson."

Kurt wasn't surprised by the cliché theme of the week even if he had to agree that he found it intriguing. Of course Kurt's inner voice would manifest in that of a song sung by a female artist, which would be interpreted by the rest of the club as yet another sign of his sexuality. _Sometimes people were just too predictable_, Kurt thought.

"You can pull off both so it just depends on whether you are looking for a more contemporary or classic style song. Or you could mix the two artists and go with a classic song they would both cover and just sing 'At Last.' No matter what you do, you have my vote Cedes."

"Thanks boo. Now we have to find you a song," Mercedes looked him up and down again shaking her head before adding "and a different outfit."

He allowed her to lead them to a pair of seat at the far side of the room where he sat and waited for the teacher to start the lecture so that he could drift somewhere else in his mind. This was going to be a long enough day without Mr. Cranston's monotonous Chemistry lecture.

Puck made it back to school with plenty of time to spare. No one was in the hallways which meant the class before glee hadn't let out yet. He made his way to the choir room to find a seat and tune his guitar. He was really hoping that this would go perfectly. He missed being around Kurt today and it was going to take perfection to get them talking again. It took him less time than he thought it would to get over the jabs Kurt had taken at him this morning, probably because he knew Kurt well enough now to see that they were desperate remarks that he probably didn't really believe. He would have done anything at that point to get Puck to leave him alone and that was the most obvious way to get what he wanted.

Puck wasn't the smartest guy around but he knew that Kurt got a lot of shit and yet he never saw Kurt putting that much effort into getting his bullies to back off. Puck took comfort in the fact that if Kurt was pulling out all the stops then it meant he must actually care about him. In some weird way his being that harsh meant he knew that Puck could hurt him more than he could have before because now Kurt had feelings for him. The idea of Kurt having feelings for him was another thought that was oddly comforting to Puck.

He still wasn't sure what his own feelings towards Kurt meant or how to deal with them exactly but at least now he wanted to figure it out. His method of ignoring the issue (AKA making out with Santana) hadn't worked so he might as well just face this thing head on. If he was really as badass as everyone thought he was then he could handle it. Maybe it would even make him tougher in some way to live through this whole situation with Kurt. The other macho jocks at this school had to literally shove Kurt away to feel tough and in control. If he could be brave enough to face his feelings for Kurt head on then it just meant he had more balls than those guys because he wasn't defensive or running scared.

The end of the day couldn't have come fast enough for Kurt. He was run down from the mixed urges he had. Half of the time he just wanted to sit and think about Puck holding him and soothing his pain but then he would remember that Puck was the reason for the ache in his chest and he would spend the other half of the time trying to think about anything else.

When the bell rang signaling the end of the period, he gathered his gym clothes and shut his sneakers back in his locker. He was moving so slowly that by the time he looked up he was the last person in the locker room. He grabbed his bag to sling onto his shoulder and head towards the choir room. As soon as he had made his way out of his row of lockers there were a pair of hands on him pulling him into the next row and slamming him up against hard metal.

"Hey there Kurt. Missed me today?"

"What the hell Karofsky?" Kurt didn't have the energy to deal with this now. He tried to shove the hands on him away from his chest where they were currently grasping his sweatshirt. Karofsky smacked his hands back down quickly before returning his left hand to grasp at his sweatshirt. Karofsky's mouth turned up in a half smile, which elicited a fear in Kurt that he had never felt before. Something was different this time.

"I don't think you should talk now. How about you just listen for a minute? See I heard all about your secret. Puck went running his mouth to the rest of us jocks the second he could. He could barely stop laughing long enough to get the words out."

Karofsky watched Kurt's face go through a range of emotions. He started with shock before there was a flicker of disbelief and then he settled on hurt. Karofsky's free hand trailed lightly up Kurt's side before her ran the back of his fingers across Kurt's cheek. When Kurt went to pull away Karofsky grabbed his jaw roughly to force eye contact.

"See, you should have been more careful with who you told. Puck's not a real man. He's not going to give you what you want. He just wants to laugh at you behind your back with the other guys. What you need is a real man to make you feel the way you really want to."

Kurt felt Karofsky's knee push his own apart before he let his grip on Kurt lessen. Kurt found himself resting with his groin on Karofsky's thigh, balancing with the balls of his feet on the ground. Karofsky's voice suddenly got softer and he leaned his face in closer so that Kurt could feel his breath hot against his skin.

"Not many people are going to understand you Kurt. I get it though. I know what you need. You just want to be treated like any other girl right?"

Kurt felt trapped, not only by the massive boy on to of him but also by the thoughts running through his head. How could Puck tell? How could he have been so wrong to trust him? Would Puck really go as far as to kiss him just to keep up this charade? He barely noticed what Karofsky was saying to him.

"It's okay to tell me Kurt. I'll give you what you want. I'll show you your place. You like playing the bitch so much I'll show you what it really means to be one."

It was when he felt Karofsky thrust into his hip that he snapped out of his thoughts. The feeling of Karofsky's erection pressed into him and his hand running over his body as it left his jaw made him want to throw up.

"What are you doing? Stop it. Get off of me."

Kurt tried to shove him back but Karofsky just applied more pressure in his assault.

"This is going to happen eventually Kurt. When you realize that I'm the only one in this town who will even think about allowing you to touch them you'll come begging me. You can't hold out forever. I'm nice enough to take pity on you and satisfy your needs. You'd better not make me regret it. We can make a deal. I'll help you out by teaching you what it means to please a real man and you just keep you pretty little mouth shut."

With that Karofsky surged forward and forced a kiss on Kurt's lips muttering about his 'pretty little mouth.' Kurt was still trying to fight him off when he felt Karofsky's tongue dart into his mouth after he tried to scream for help. The taste of Karofsky made him want to be sick again. He wished for a minute that Puck would come and save him. Then he remembered what Karofsky had said about Puck telling them all about his secret.

Suddenly he felt the fight rise in his chest. He had to get out of Karofsky's grasp if for no other reason than because he wanted to tear Puck's head off. Karofsky's kisses became less intense as he pulled back to look at Kurt. Kurt had an idea that was either going to get him killed or get him out of the locker room. He gave Karofsky a coy smile.

"Fine. If Puck doesn't want me then maybe we can figure something out."

Karofsky obviously wasn't expecting him to cave so soon judging from the way his face went slack with shock. It was that second Kurt needed to push him away and bring his left knee up to collide with Karofsky's crotch.

The jock doubled over in pain and fell to the floor. Kurt ran for the door without any hesitation. Once he was in the hallway he figured he was safe but he didn't slow down for a second. Getting out of that room was only step one in his plan. Now he had to find his target.

Puck sat in the choir room watching everyone wander in. Of course, the one time he wanted to see Kurt more than anything else was the day Kurt decided to stall. The bell rang and he was the only one who still hadn't shown. Puck wondered if Kurt would go as far as to skip glee to avoid him but he knew Kurt was too much of a goody-goody to skip class. Plus, as far as Kurt was concerned Puck had left for the day this morning. Puck started to fidget as he watched the door. If this apology was going to work, Kurt had to be here to hear it.

When Kurt finally burst through the doorway, Puck barely had time to thank god or whoever that he showed up before he saw the look on Kurt's face. He stood up to brace himself when Kurt basically flew at him arms swinging and fists repeatedly striking his chest.

"You're an ass, Puck. I can't believe I ever trusted you. You're such a jerk. I hate you."

Puck grabbed Kurt's arms and held him as he tried to continue hitting him and shouting 'I hate you' over and over. Most of the group was now standing and crowding around them. The girls were mostly telling Kurt to calm down and asking what was wrong while the guys stood there with their mouths open, shocked at Kurt's outrage.

Finn finally made his way over to try and get between them. Puck wouldn't let go of Kurt's arms so finally he gave up and just stood at Kurt's side looking pissed.

"What did you do? I told you not to mess with him." Finn turned to look at Kurt his voice getting softer. "What happened dude? It's going to be alright. I'll fix it."

Puck watched as Finn held his hand about six inches away from Kurt's back. Kurt had tightened up slightly when Finn called him 'dude' but now he was just turning his face towards the wall so that they all wouldn't see his face red and streaked with tears. When he finally stopped trying to hit Puck or break free from his hold Puck figured the worst was over. He leaned in close enough that Kurt would be the only one to hear him, possibly Finn too.

"Kurt, look at me. What happened?" Kurt shook his head and closed his eyes tighter obviously trying to block out Puck's words. "You were mad this morning but this is a whole different kind. Something had to have happened. Tell me."

Kurt finally looked up at him and it broke Pucks heart a little. Kurt looked so tired, and hurt, and defeated, and… _fragile_ was the only word he thought fit in that moment. Puck immediately regretted leaving for the day. If he was there he could have at least kept and eye on Kurt. He might have been able to stop whatever caused this.

"How could you tell them? How could you do that to me?"

Kurt whispered it so low that Puck almost didn't catch his words. Finn must have though because he looked just as confused.

"Tell who what?" Finn asked.

Puck shot Finn a look that told him to back the hell off and Finn shrugged before holding up his hands and stepping back to join the rest of the crowd. Puck refocused his attention to the shaking guy in his grasp.

"You've got to give me more to work with here Kurt. I don't know what you are talking about."

Kurt's mind was racing a mile a minute. Why was Puck pretending not to know? What more could he be hoping to gain from this? The more Kurt thought about everything, the less sense it made. If Puck had told all the jocks then why did Finn look so confused? Well, Finn always looked confused but still, it didn't look like Sam, Mike, or Artie had any clue what was going on either. Chancing another look at Puck's face told him that Puck was confused too. Not only that but he looked worried. It was the same look he had that first time he helped him up in the hallway last week. He had seen Puck try to lie his way out of his mistakes. He was a good actor but not this good. Plus there was the fact that Puck's grip on his wrists was firm but still tender. He was obviously being careful not to hurt him by squeezing too tight. If he was really just a jerk like Karofsky implied he wouldn't care about being gentle.

"He said…"

Kurt looked around again and felt and embarrassed heat turning his cheeks red. He shook off Puck's hold and stepped back, Mercedes and Tina flanking to his sides. Mercedes put her arm around his shoulders and gave Puck a menacing look while Tina just spoke soft comforting worlds in Kurt's ear.

He looked up to find Puck still standing there looking helpless. Suddenly Kurt was back to being tired, all of the emotions drained out of his body.

"Nevermind," he spoke directly at Puck. "I just… Nevermind."

"Girls, why don't you make sure Kurt is okay, and we will get back to rehearsal." Mr. Schue cleared his throat.

Puck almost forgot that the man was there. By the look of everyone else circled around him and Kurt, he guessed they had too. The girls helped Kurt to the other side of the room and into a seat between them, still huddling around him as Puck watched from the other side of the room.

Once everyone was back in their chairs, Mr. Schue tried to get them back on track talking about some assignment to find your true self. Puck didn't really give a damn about finding himself. Right now he was much more worried about what was going on with Kurt. He figured now was as good of a time as any to tell Kurt how he felt. Maybe even if he apologized it would help with whatever happened today to get him so messed up.

"Mr. Schue, I have something I wanted to sing."

The look his teacher was giving him told him that he wasn't too sure about the request. He stood there with his mouth open for a minute looking like he was searching for something to say. Puck just noticed that he didn't say 'no' and he was up grabbing his guitar and walking to the center of the room.

He stood there looking out at the rest of the club and squared his shoulders in preparation.

"So you all know that I just got out of juvie. When I got out I decided that I was gonna change, be a better person and all." He shrugged. "Well I've been trying." He looked directly at Kurt and their eyes met. Mercedes and Tina looked between them, confused again. "But it's not easy and I'm probably gonna need a couple of chances at it. I _am_ trying though, I swear." He looked around the room and everyone but Kurt had the same questioning look. As far as they were concerned he hadn't changed at all. "Whatever, the song says it all." Puck shook his head and looked down taking in a deep breath for courage. He started to strum keeping his eyes lowered towards he ground. He knew it wasn't very badass to look at the floor while he sang but it was going to take him a minute to be able to do this right.

Kurt sat there wishing that Mercedes and Tina would stop touching him and just let him focus. Puck was standing in the front of the room with his guitar looking like he was about to do something that Kurt would want to see. Puck was talking about wanting to be a better person and then he was looking right at him. He looked like he was determined for a split second before he looked down again. Puck took in a deep breath and began to play.

_Please forgive me if I act a little strange_

_For I know not what I do_

_Feels like lightening running through my veins_

_Every time I look at you_

Puck looked up as if right on cue and Kurt wondered how many times he had practiced this to make sure it was perfect. He sang the line again directly at him.

_Every time I look at you_

_Help me out here all my words are falling short_

_And there's so much I want to say_

Kurt was remembering the way that Puck always seemed so honest when he sang. It was that way when he sang "Beth" last year too. The way he was pleading with Kurt in those lines made it so hard to not walk over and take Puck's hand and ask him what it was he needed to get off his chest.

Puck was feeling slightly better at the sight of Kurt leaning forward towards him like he want to stand up and walk over but he stopped himself at the last second. God, he was _trying_ so hard here. He just needed Kurt to keep listening.

_Want to tell you just how good it feels_

_When you look at me that way_

_When you look at me that way_

_Throw a stone and watch the ripples flow_

_Moving out across the bay_

_Like a stone I fall into your eyes_

_Deep into some mystery_

_Deep into that mystery_

_I got half a mind to scream out loud_

_I got half a mind to die_

_So I won't every have to lose you girl_

Puck had thought about changing 'girl' to 'boy' but he decided against it. Kurt hated being called 'dude' but something in his brain told him that this wasn't going to have the same effect. Besides, if he left it as it was then maybe people would think he wasn't singing it directly to Kurt, not that Puck thought the way they were looking at each other right now was going to help that much.

_Won't ever have to say goodbye_

_I won't ever have to lie_

_Won't ever have to say goodbye_

Kurt took notice of how Puck's voice grew softer at the last verse. It made the words feel more intimate, as if he were singing only to him. Kurt couldn't help the small smile that teased at his lips.

_Please forgive me if I act a little strange_

_For I know not what I do_

_Feels like lightning running through my veins_

_Every time I look at you_

Puck felt a shiver run down his spine at the truth of those words. Maybe it wasn't exactly something a badass would do but Kurt needed to hear it, as much as he would tell anyone who asked differently, so did he.

_Every time I look at you_

_Every time I look at you_

_Every time I look at you_

When Puck stopped playing and put his hand on the front of the guitar to silence the sound the room was completely silent. Most of the group was looking slowly back and forth between him and Kurt. Puck turned his mouth up briefly to match the smile on Kurt's face before the shouldered his guitar and moved back to sit in his chair.

Mr. Schue stood up immediately and tried to regain the focus of the room. Luckily Rachel was easily distracted from the atmosphere when Schue asked her to sing next. They could always count on Rachel to be self involved enough to forget any of their problems when it came to getting her chance to sing. Puck couldn't say what went on for the rest of glee because the 45 minutes it took for the bell to ring again he spent glancing at Kurt, and more than half of the time he caught Kurt looking right back at him.

Puck watched Mercedes and Tina walk out of the room after Kurt had talked to them. Mercedes was not happy about being dismissed judging by the look she shot Puck on her way out but Tina smiled softly back at him as she took Mike's hand at the door. Finn was the last one to leave the room, still looking between them as if waiting for an explanation. Once they were relatively alone, Mr. Schue fixing his papers on the piano, Puck walked over to Kurt and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"So…"

Kurt laughed and shouldered his bag. He figured Puck was probably all talked out after baring his feelings with that song, so he could cut him a little slack. After all, he had never had a guy sing to him before the way Puck had. He was so used to anyone with a male chromosome treating him like he had a gender specific plague that only they could catch. He fixed Puck with a soft questioning look.

"Drive me home? It's been kind of a long day."

Puck smiled at him and turned to follow him out. He agreed, it had been a fucking long day but somehow they had made it and, sure, they still had a lot to figure out but whatever this thing was between them at least now Puck knew he was all in. Whatever it took, he wanted to be there for Kurt, and maybe he could even let Kurt in a little bit too. If he was going to try this whole reform thing, Puck figured he may as well go all out. Otherwise what kind of badass would he really be?


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Please forgive me for what I am sure are an abundance of awkward sentences and misplaced punctuation. My beta has been having internet issues lately and so both this and the previous chapter was… gasp… self edited. I simply couldn't contain myself any longer though. I may go back and repost once I get all the edits back from her but for now I hope I've done a good enough job to make it enjoyable. **

**This is the last tease of a chapter, I promise. The next chapter is the one where THE CONVERSATION will take place. I know I keep stalling and sidestepping it but I really wanted to explore the relationship of trust that these two are developing. To use a very Darren Criss explanation, I wanted it to be a really "organic" relationship and progression. I hope I have accomplished that so far. **

**Lastly, the song choice for this chapter is _Lightweight_ by Demi Lavato (Don't judge). The apology song Puck sang from last chapter was _Please Forgive Me_ by David Gray.**

**Thanks again for sticking with me and I LOVE all of you who are following and adding this to your favorite stories. Reviews make me smile though so you should leave one! **

**Chapter 7 **

Puck tried to keep his eyes on the road in front of him while they drove to Kurt's house. Really, he did but it was kind of a difficult thing to do with Kurt staring out the passenger window with a blank look on his face. He still had no clue what happened that day to make Kurt attack him like that but Puck could see just how much all of this was getting to him. It made him want to pull the truck over to the side of the road and hold Kurt until he finally fell asleep. He shook that thought off reminding himself that they were most likely going to wind up doing exactly that on Kurt's couch as soon as they got there.

As well as noticing Kurt's lack of energy, he also found it surprising how not awkward the silence was between them. It wasn't like the two of them had a history of long detailed conversations. The one time they actually attempted serious conversation in the bathroom wasn't exactly the easiest either. It was filled with a lot of misunderstandings and stuttering on both of their parts. Yea, talking definitely didn't come easily for Puck but this comfortable silence thing… that he could get used to.

When they pulled up to the curb, Puck chanced one more glance over in Kurt's direction before his got out of the truck. He made his way around to the other side and Kurt was just shutting the door behind him moving slower than usual. Puck had to fight the urge to pull Kurt into his side and let him lean there while they walked. He knew where this was probably going to lead once they got inside but there was something different about Kurt cuddling up to him on the couch and him voluntarily pulling Kurt to his side and holding him up while they walked. He watched Kurt breathe deep a couple of times adjusting to the crisp fall air before he started to lazily walk towards the house. Puck was used to just taking what he wanted, booze, girls, lunch money. He definitely wasn't used to curbing those urges to act before thinking but that had already gotten him in trouble with Kurt when he kissed Santana without thinking first, he was going to take his time and really figure this out first. Whatever this was with Kurt, He wasn't going to be the one to fuck it up. He'd wait for Kurt to come to his senses and figure out that he was too good for Puck and hopefully it would just take him a long while, maybe until Kurt left for college and realized what a small town loser her really was. Puck would be happy to have just that if he could.

His whole body ached as he pressed his shoulder to the door to push it open and let them in. He dropped his keys in the bowl on the hall table and hung his coat on the rack, Puck taking off his letterman jacket and following suit. He was able to make it as far as the couch before he collapsed on top of it with a severely undignified grunt. Puck let out a soft laugh from where he stood watching a couple of feet away shaking his head with that smirk still on his face before he walked the rest of the distance to join him on the couch. God, Kurt wanted to kiss that smirk away if only he weren't too tired to move.

Puck snaked his arm underneath Kurt's upper body and lifted him enough to fit his own body beneath it. Puck sat kind of cornered in the arm and the back of the couch allowing his head to rest on Puck's chest. Kurt shivered at the closeness and the sound of Puck's heart sounding in his ear; a heart which was beating rather fast if he heard it correctly. Before he could fight with his natural reactions Kurt's hand wound up clutching at Puck's shirt and pulling him closer as if it were physically possible from this position.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere," Puck laughed as Kurt clung to him. He figured he should probably start this off before Kurt actually fell asleep on him. "You want to tell me what that was about in glee club today?"

"Not really. Can't we just go with it was a bad day and leave it alone?"

Kurt knew that eventually he was going to have to think about what happened. He shook just remembering what Karofsky had done to him and he doubted it would be the last time something like that occurred if he didn't talk about it eventually but he had no clue what he could even say right now without breaking.

"Whatever it was got to you pretty bad, I don't think I can just forget about it. You have to trust me Kurt. I know I've already fucked this up pretty bad but I _am_ trying here. Old habits die hard and all that crap."

"Speaking of you making an effort that was a very nice song you sang."

"Yea well, I have a thoughtful side. I just don't let it show much. Besides I knew I had to do something big to get you to talk to me again. You can be kind of a grade A bitch in case you hadn't noticed."

Kurt flinched at the word remembering what Karofsky had said about showing him his place. He hoped Puck didn't notice but figured a quick recovery couldn't hurt so he spoke as quickly as he could regain his composure.

"Which Jewish artist was that anyway?"

"It wasn't. He's some atheist Brit dude. I figured I could trade in one religion for none as long as it was for you. Plus I hoped that fate had found me a song by an atheist to make it obvious that it was the one I should sing to you."

"I appreciate your diverging from your comfort zone. Maybe you were right about fate too because I couldn't be mad at you after that. At some point we are going to have to have a discussion about how much of that you meant though."

He knew it was a bold step but Puck was the one who had picked the song in the first place. He figured that he had to be at least prepared for Kurt to bring up the lyrics.

"And at some point we can have that talk," Puck started. "But don't think I am dumb enough to miss you trying to make me forget about my first question. So, spill. What got you so worked up?"

Kurt turned his face into Pucks soft t-shirt to hide while he thought about what exactly to say. He didn't want Puck to throw him to the floor and run out to kill Karofsky; he really didn't want Puck to move at all. But there was a part of him that also wanted Puck to protect him like he had been doing all of last week. He had fended off Karofsky for him once already since Puck found him on the floor that first time.

"I don't want you to over react, okay? It was just Karofsky again."

He turned his head so that he could look at Puck's face, which was now tighter than it had been all day. Kurt could also feel the tension in his arms as they were wrapped around him tighter now. He waited for Puck to promise to keep his composure but it didn't come. Instead he pushed for more.

"Keep talking. What did he do this time?"

Puck felt his blood heating up. He couldn't tell who he was more pissed at, Karofsky for whatever he had done to Kurt, himself for leaving Kurt all day without someone watching out for him, or Kurt for pushing him away in the first place.

"He got me alone in the locker room after everyone left. He may have been a little bit more," Kurt swallowed the bile rising in his throat, "physical this time."

"Kurt you have to have bruises from all the other times he's thrown you around. How much more physical could he have gotten?"

Puck was already getting too worked up. If Kurt weren't holding him down with his body Puck would have been pacing the floor or punching the walls by now. He needed to keep it together until Kurt told him everything but if he didn't start talking much faster he might not be able to make it that far.

"He- He touched me in a di- a different way this time."

Kurt could feel the tears starting to seep into his eyes and he fought them back with all of the strength he had left in him. If he wanted Puck not to blow up he needed to keep his cool as well.

"Kurt?"

Puck had a good idea what Kurt was trying to say but he couldn't even let his mind go there until he was positive. If he was right, he was going to kill Karofsky. Fuck juvie, he would gladly go away for a long time just to keep Kurt safe for good. He was sure that he was probably starting to hurt Kurt himself with how tight his arms were wrapped around him now.

"You promised you'd stay calm."

"I didn't promise shit, Kurt. Now, keep going. What do you mean it was different?"

"Somehow he knew about our discussion in the bathroom last week. He knew everything and he wanted me to think that you were the one who told him. He said that you told the whole team, and that you were just being nice to me so that you could laugh about it with all of them afterwards."

Puck brought one hand to Kurt's jaw to make him look at him again. Kurt was shocked at how gentle his touch was even if it was insistent. It was virtually the same exact movement that Karofsky had done in the locker room and yet it felt about as different as he could imagine.

"Kurt, I would never do that to you."

"I know that. I just wasn't thinking clearly after it all happened. I was so shocked that it took me a while just to process all of the new questions running through my head. But I do know that now. I swear."

"Good." Puck took a moment trying to work up the courage to keep going. "What else?"

"He told me that I was a freak and that he would show me my place. He- he had his body pressed up against me and he forced his lips on mine. I just- I never thought- I didn't expect that. He's always been so hateful. I didn't think that-"

Before Kurt could even finish that thought Puck was moving beneath him and trying to shove him off. Kurt used all of his weight to keep him on the couch and clutched to his chest again, tighter this time.

"Don't. Please don't leave me. Please just stay. I don't want to be alone right now. I don't want anyone to know. Please, please, please."

It was the way Kurt sounded, so scared that got him. He had seen Kurt on the floor after Karofsky had hit him, he had gotten bitched out after he fucked up with the kiss, he had even been the cause of Kurt looking afraid a time or two but this was so much worse. Kurt held onto him so tightly that Puck knew even with his strength he wouldn't be able to pry him off. He wanted more than anything to beat Karofsky's face in until he was covered in blood and begging Puck to stop but he _needed_ to be there for Kurt right now. Karofsky would have to wait.

"Okay, okay. I'm not going anywhere."

He wrapped his arms back around Kurt's shaking body and held him firm. Kurt's grasp let up the smallest bit, it was barely noticeable.

"Kurt, you know he was wrong, right? You know that whatever that jackass said was just his own fucked up mind talking. You are perfect. You're the only one who has given me a shot for about as long as I can remember and that's saying a lot because I know I'm not exactly the easiest person to deal with. I tend to fuck things up an awful lot. You're the best person I know. Don't listen to anything he told you, okay?"

Kurt didn't answer; he just kept making soft, sad sounds into his chest. Puck could feel the wetness on his shirt seeping through to his skin. He couldn't help but think that he wouldn't do this for anyone else. Maybe at one point Quinn but whatever they had, it was obviously over now. He knew he could deal with his rage later but for now he just had to make sure that Kurt felt safe and protected.

He looked down to watch Kurt, who was now breathing in and out at a slow, steady pace while he slept on top of Puck. Kurt's lips were parted just slightly and the little puffs of air blew right over the damp fabric on his chest causing Puck to be aware of just how wet his shirt was. All Puck had been able to think about for many days now were what those lips would feel like on his own. Puck couldn't help but feel jealous at that moment that his stupidity had cost him Kurt's first kiss. Puck was pretty confident that, based on how Kurt acted around him, he hadn't been kissed before.

He tried to slide down onto the couch as gently as possible so that they were both more or less lying across it. Kurt gripped him tighter even though he seemed to stay asleep, only a couple of soft muffled noises escaping those lips. Puck finally settle with his calves propped up on the arm of the couch, Kurt tangled around him in a way that was uncomfortable but oddly perfect. He sucked in a calming breathe of air and forced himself to completely relax as he stared at the ceiling above him. Nothing seemed to be easy these days, except for being here with Kurt on this couch and keeping each other whole.

When Burt Hummel pulled up to the house after work he couldn't decide whether he was surprised to find Puck's truck out front or not. Sure, he had spent all weekend watching Kurt fall into a depression and trying to console him but he had also spent the full week before coming home to find his kid wrapped around the body of a boy he had never met before.

Burt threw the car into park in the driveway and pulled off his baseball cap. He ran his hands quickly but firmly over his face breathing out a frustrated breath. "Here we go again," he muttered. If nothing else, at least he was going to be sure to take advantage of this opportunity to pull Puck aside and have a man to man chat with him about how he never wanted to see Kurt look the way he had this weekend ever again. If need be he would be sure Puck knew about the hunting rifle he kept in the garage. Burt had to question his own intentions before he went into the house. He decided that he wasn't looking to scare the boy off as long as he could be sure that Kurt was safe with him.

Pushing the front door open, Burt cautiously walked into his house. He was pretty sure he knew where to find them since they had been on the couch every other time that truck was parked outside. When Burt walked into the TV room, however, he was met with a sight that was nothing like what he had expected.

Puck was sitting on the couch with the remote on his leg watching a muted television while stroking his hand through Kurt's hair. Kurt was asleep in his lap clutching the arm that wasn't currently in his hair to his chest and breathing softly in a slow relaxed rhythm. Burt cleared his throat as quietly but purposefully as possible, and when Puck's head darted to look his way he raised a finger to his lips in an effort to tell the boy to leave Kurt sleeping. He then jerked his head in the direction of the kitchen silently telling Puck to follow him.

Puck's fight or flight instincts kicked in the second he saw Burt Hummel standing there. He was so used to fathers catching him sneaking out of their daughter's bedrooms that his initial reaction was to throw Kurt off of him and run for his life but he knew that wasn't right this time. He watched as Burt tilted his head to get him to go with him and he sucked in all of his strength to prepare for whatever 'papa bear' had to say. He wasn't about to let Kurt's dad scare him off when they had finally gotten to some sort of truce.

Puck slid Kurt's head up as smoothly as possible, being sure to pull the pillow that was behind his back to rest under his head before he guided it back down. Kurt only twitched a little bit and Puck thanked Allah or whatever that Kurt was so tired. Once he was sure that Kurt was still passed out he straightened his shoulders and tried to look confident but not cocky as he walked into the room Burt Hummel had just gone in.

"Sit down, kid."

Burt was leaning against the counter on the far wall facing the entrance of the room, ready to take control the second the boy walked in. He could tell that this kid had an attitude and he was going to need to make it obvious that he wasn't in control here. This kid was going to sit down, shut up, and listen to what he had to say if he had to tie him down and gag him. For whatever reason, Kurt had decided this guy was worth keeping around so he had to make an effort here.

Puck sat silently as directed in a seat at the kitchen table. The kitchen was really neat considering the house had two guys living in it. Puck quickly corrected himself thinking that Kurt didn't really count as a guy and he was probably the reason for this place looking so good. Puck almost got killed for putting his feet up on the coffee table and he even knew enough to use a coaster when Kurt gave him a drink. Kurt was fussy.

"Look, I don't know what happened between last Friday and today but whatever happened last week to make Kurt look a kicked puppy walking around here all weekend isn't going to happen again. Kurt said the first day that I found you here that you had helped out with some of the other jocks or something and I want you to know that I appreciate that, but that just means you know exactly how much that kid goes through on a daily basis. He tries to hide it from me but I know too… and it kills me that I have no idea what to do about it. You're there with him every day and for some reason that kid in there has decided to trust you. Now I can't say that you'd be my first choice of a boy to find on the couch with my son but I trust _Kurt_."

Burt gave Puck a knowing stare raising his eyebrows obviously waiting to make sure that Puck read into the statement that he didn't trust him yet. Puck knew enough to keep his mouth shut and give a nod of understanding.

"Kurt's a good kid. He doesn't deserve all the crap that he has to go through just because this town is ass forward and can't see how special a kid he is but he also doesn't deserve to have you making it that much worse by stringing him along and breaking his heart on top of it all. Got me?"

If this conversation had happened anytime before today Puck would have been out of his seat arguing that there was nothing going on between him and Kurt. He would have been calling Kurt names and defending his macho badassness until he ran out of breath. But that was before, before everything that had happened since last Friday. Now he knew that he never wanted to be the cause of Kurt's pain again. Whatever this was in his chest that hurt every time Kurt looked sad was going to make sure that he did his best to protect him. Now Puck needed Kurt just as much as Kurt needed him and there was no use denying that to the one guy who understood how special Kurt really was.

"Yes, sir, I understand. I'm gonna do my best to make sure that Kurt is safe." Puck couldn't help but be mad at himself for what had happened already when he turned his back. "I know that I messed but I won't do it again. Kurt makes me want to be that guy he thinks I can be and I'll do _whatever_ it takes to make sure I am that guy."

Puck was looking at Burt's face and he couldn't tell what the man was thinking. He knew that it was probably going to take more than one conversation to get the guy to stop looking at him like he belonged back in juvie, or worse, but he hoped he was getting somewhere.

"I don't need you to trust me but I need you to know that I'm telling the truth about that much. I won't let anyone hurt him again."

Burt couldn't tell what it was exactly about the guy but he knew he wasn't lying. The look on his face when he said he would do whatever it took to protect Kurt was honest and more than a little menacing. He almost barked the word out rather than speaking them. The intensity of the boy in front of him should be off putting for a father, knowing that he was the same boy who with that attitude could possibly pressure his kid into doing something he didn't want to do. It didn't though. Burt almost felt better knowing that this guy was watching out for Kurt. He hated to say it but he even thought that Kurt might be better off.

"I'll take your word for it but just know that if you do hurt that kid in there having hurt feelings over it will be the least of your problems. You'll be dealing with me if you hurt him again and I've got a lot more than a sad face and some tears."

Burt tried to remind himself to take it easy on Puck if he was going to be sticking around. He had to give him the chance to prove himself too.

"Alright, I've said my piece. You just keep Kurt happy and we'll be fine. I don't want to have to hate you kid. Okay?"

Puck was grateful that Burt's voice had softened a little. It wasn't anything obvious but it wasn't as angry even if the words that were coming out were meant as a threat. Puck stood up and stuck out his hand to Mr. Hummel. For the first time since his deadbeat dad left, Puck had a father that he wanted to impress, even if it wasn't his own.

Burt shook his hand and then walked him to the door giving him a nod and a pat on the back as he walked out. Puck turned to look over his should not two feet out the door.

"Tell Kurt-"

"I'll take care of it. Drive safe kid."

Burt shut the door without watching for a reaction. He walked back to the room where Kurt was still fast asleep on the couch. Burt sat in the armchair and watched his kid hoping he had made the right decision in trusting this _Puck_. He closed his eyes and thought of his wife and what she would tell him now. Maybe he would ask Carole what she thought about everything. It was nice to have a woman in his life to lean on again when it came to family. It had been a long time since Burt was shocked at viewing the four of them as a family. Finn was just as much a son to him now as Kurt was and Carole was certainly more than just some girlfriend. Burt hoped that one day he could figure out a way to ensure Kurt's safety and happiness while also planning on his own.

When Puck pulled up to give Kurt a ride for school at the time they agreed on the night before he feels nervous. Eventually Kurt was going to have to talk about the Karofsky situation again. He didn't do so well with it the first time around and Puck doesn't honestly believe that time is going to make it any better. Kurt seemed pretty intent on keeping it between them. It's not like people didn't know Kurt was gay so he didn't get what the big secret was.

Kurt slipped into the seat next to him and he wasn't looking at Puck. He was staring at the dashboard like it was about to say something interesting. The guy didn't look better; in fact he looked like all that sleep went to waste with how jittery he was. Puck wondered how much of the night he had stayed up over-thinking what happened with Karofsky. He wished he'd been there to wrap Kurt in his arms again and distract him but he figured now was as good a time as any.

"Hey," Puck started leaning over, "I don't even get a 'hi, how ya doin' when I pick you up?"

Kurt looked up at him through his eyelashes and smirked. He still didn't say anything but his shoulders relaxed a little and he instinctively leaned over to meet Puck's body and brush their shoulders together as a nonverbal greeting. Kurt wasn't completely sure that if he tried to speak his voice wouldn't betray him with the nerves he was feeling anyway.

Puck smiled at Kurt next to him and thanked the gods again for non awkward silences.

"I guess that'll do."

The school day wasn't as bad as he had expected so far. At least, Puck thought, he had walking Kurt to his classes to look forward to again now that they were on good terms. He still hadn't figured out what to do about the whole Karofsky thing yet but he knew that it was only a matter of time before he had to do something.

The one time that they passed him in the hallway between classes Kurt had stepped so close to Puck's side that Puck thought he was going to walk them sideways right into a locker. Puck pretended not to notice when Karofsky walked by and Kurt fell back into his normal step beside him, looking casually over at Puck with a slightly pained face. He knew Kurt didn't want him to think that he was afraid but he knew better than needing to see it written on Kurt's face. Something like what that ass did yesterday didn't just go away. Puck decided he was going to have to take care of this sooner rather than later.

Puck debated when to confront Karofsky and he settled on doing it during lunch, this way Mercedes could keep and eye on Kurt and distract him from the fact that both Puck and his tormentor were missing.

On the way to lunch Puck told Kurt to go ahead and save him a seat while he used the bathroom. Kurt looked sort of scared and like he wanted to argue but they were only down the hall from the cafeteria and after a minute he reluctantly agreed. Puck would just have to wait for Karofsky to come by, and intercept him from the rest of the jocks. It didn't take too long before the group of them came down the hall laughing and shoving each other. Puck spread his shoulders wide and walked directly up to Karofsky.

"We need to talk. I think you broke something of mine in the locker room last Friday."

"What are you talking about man; I didn't touch any of your gay ass shit."

Puck took the opening knowing that it would get Karofsky's attention.

"Funny you should put it that way because I think you hand your hands all over my gay ass shit."

The guys around them were looking confused but Karofsky's eyes lit up with fear. Bingo. Karofsky leaned in close before pushing Puck away and turning to walk back down the hall that the group had come from. Puck trailed him following Karofsky to the locker room. As soon as the door shut behind him Puck was shoved up against the back of it by Karofsky's forearm at his throat.

"What did Hummel tell you? He's a fucking liar!"

"See I knew you understood what I was talking about."

Puck pushed Karofsky back and both boys stood ready to fight practically snarling at each other as they talked.

"What you did to Kurt was fucked up man and if it happens again I'll personally make sure you never use your dick again."

"Whatever, dude. I was just doing us all a favor."

"A favor? What the fuck kind of favor could you have been doing anyone? You were just trying to get your closeted ass off on my boy Kurt."

"That's what you think he is? 'Your boy Kurt?'" Karofsky laughed. "You really are dumb Puckerman."

"What are you talking about?"

"Kurt's not just some faggot. He's a fucking freak. The dude's wearing girl's underwear and sashaying around here like he's begging for someone to cut his balls off for him. The dude doesn't want to be a _dude_ at all."

"What are you talking about Karofsky?" Puck stalked forward backing Karofsky into a locker as the other boy just laughed at him.

"He wants to be a chick, you idiot. I was just taking care of him before he fucked with your head and got you to believe his twisted shit."

Puck was dead silent. He wasn't moving an inch and Karofsky was more scared than he was before. He needed Puck to believe his lie. He needed him to think he was going this to prove a point and not because he really got off on the idea of Hummel.

"I did you a fucking favor, man. You should thank me for helping you out and showing you what the dude really wants."

Puck mind snapped into focus. What Kurt really wants? Puck wished he knew what to believe right now. He knew Karofsky was bullshitting him and trying to manipulate him but part of this made complete sense. It was also kind of a relief. If Kurt really did want to be a girl then Puck didn't have to feel weird about his feelings, right? Maybe he just saw what Kurt wanted him to see. He saw Kurt for who he wanted to be, a woman.

Puck shook his head to clear his thoughts and turned around to leave the locker room. He had to talk to Kurt. He had to understand what was really going on. As he had his hand on the doorknob he turned to face Karofsky again.

"If you so much as look at Kurt again the wrong way, I swear to god…" Puck punched a locker for dramatic effect. "You're more of a freak than he'll ever be and I know that you have something to hide here. Hurt him again and I'll make it my goal to find out every secret you have and expose them all before I beat the crap out of you."

With that he was out the door, missing the way that Karofsky shivered at the tone of his voice. It was just like the night before when he had talked to Mr. Hummel. Puck wasn't even aware of the tone he took when defending Kurt but Karofsky was sure it was one of the most frightening threats he had ever received.

Puck made his way back to the cafeteria feeling confident and unusually needy. It was as if having reasoning behind his feelings for Kurt he wanted to act on them even more. When Puck walked into the room he zoomed in on the table that Kurt and Mercedes always took. He walked right past the table that all of the other glee jocks sat at and slid onto the bench beside Kurt straddling it and making sure that his hand landed on Kurt' thigh. Kurt's knee stopped its bouncing and he turned and smiled at Puck.

_God, that smile!_

Puck leaned in close and made sure that his mouth was only and inch or two from Kurt's ear. He wanted to be sure that Kurt felt his breath there as he spoke.

"After school today, you and I need to talk babe."

Kurt knew that normally those words left people feeling fearful and questioning. The whole 'we need to talk' deal wasn't something anyone particularly looked forward to but the way Puck had whispered into his ear and the affectionate term tacked onto the end told Kurt that whatever this was, it wasn't bad.

The words sent tremors down Kurt's spine and Puck smiled next to him at the feeling of Kurt's excitement from where his hand still rested on Kurt's jeans. Puck finally sat upright and then letting his eyes take Kurt in one more time he stood up pushing off on Kurt's thigh to keep the contact as long as possible. He gave a satisfied nod at Mercedes and walked to sit with Finn and the rest of the guys.

When Kurt came out of his daze, Mercedes was sitting across from him with her mouth hanging open and a speared tot halfway to her mouth frozen.

"Okay, white boy, what the _hell_ was that about?"

"Calm down Cedes everything is fine"

Kurt smiled at just how fine he thought Puck was.

"Uh uh. You are not getting off that easy. Something is going on there and I think it's about time for you to spill. Puck's been following you around like a protective bull dog for over a week and now he's getting all in your space and making you blush?"

The girl sat there now pointing the uneaten tot at him in warning. Kurt took her fork from her and placed it on her plate before taking the girl's hand and fixing her with a 'bitch please' look.

"Cedes, really? What do you think is going on here? This is Puck we are talking about. He's probably just trying to rub it in your face that we're friends now. You know how he is. If there was something going on don't you think that I would tell my best girl first?"

Kurt hoped that he had laid it on thick enough to flatter her into belief but not so much that he'd let on that he was obviously withholding information. He knew technically it was lying. Something _was_ going on between him and Puck but until both he and the boy were in agreement as to what that something was there was no way he was bringing anyone else into it. Besides, what was he supposed to say? Well, Cedes I have felt for a while now that I am not really a boy at all but in fact a girl and Puck after spending time defending my honor in an effort to rectify his past lifestyle choices has seen the true me and has decided that even though I have a penis he can learn to love a girl with a little extra something. Somehow, he didn't see that going over too well with the diva sitting across from him. Luckily he didn't have to explain any further.

"That's true; I would be the first to know." She fixed him with a glare. "At least I'd better be. I still don't get this whole Puck's a good guy deal though. The guy used to spend his days tossing you in a dumpster, and I know how much you love your clothes."

"Yes, Puck has had a far from stellar past but he has been very remorseful and has tried to make it up to me lately. It may not erase what has already transpired but we have agreed to accept each other as we are." Plus he is the only boy who has ever held me and made me feel special and worthy of love.

"Fine. But don't expect me to hold back on the 'I told you so' when he shows his true colors again."

"I think I can live with that."

Kurt was already looking back over his shoulder before he could stop himself to steal another glance at Puck, who was doing his own bit or staring from across the room.

With all the drama that had occurred before and during glee on Friday, Kurt had never performed his song. He had chosen the song for its emotional depth, and because he found the honesty to be reflective of what was happening with Puck. The song was by far more vulnerable that anyone in glee had ever seen him before but he knew the only person he cared about losing right now wouldn't take advantage of that, not after yesterday.

As the last period of the day started everyone in glee was seated and talking animatedly with each other. Brittany and Santana were laughing and mocking different people around the room. Sam and Finn were having some animated conversation that Rachel seemed less than enthused to be involved in. Tina and Mike were whispering on the top row with Artie watching them sadly. Quinn and Mercedes were left sitting on the other side of the room alternating between throwing questioning looks at him and Puck sitting side by side and probably discussing how he had lost his mind.

Finally Mr. Schue came into the room with his usual enthusiasm and tried to corral everyone's attention. He was immediately talking about the approaching competition at the end of the semester and trying his best to make everyone care every bit as much as Rachel. For her Part, Rachel was sitting in the front row on the edge of her seat nodding vigorously and adding in her own thoughts every other sentence. Mr. Schue was trying to introduce the assignment for the week, since Kurt's scene the day before put a halt his first attempt. Kurt watched as he grew more and more overpowered before Rachel was finally standing next to him and talking about the duet she had planned for her and Finn to sing and debating with herself about other options.

Kurt knew that if he was ever going to do this it had to be now. After all that had transpired, this song was less of a reflection on his life and more of a promise to Puck. He hoped that the sentiment came across and that Puck understood what he was trying to say. Kurt raised his hand while Rachel was still talking. When Mr. Schue called on him the girl up front was pulled from her reverie and sent to sit down.

"Mr. Schue, I never got to perform my song last week and I was hoping that I could do it now before we started our new assignment."

"That sounds fine Kurt. We don't have the band though because I didn't intend on us doing much today beyond talking through Sectionals and the new lesson plan for the week."

"That's fine. I actually practiced it acappella with Mercedes and Tina."

Kurt walked to the center of the room and stood as the girls walked down to stand on either of his sides slightly behind him. He gave each of them a brief look before they started their accompaniment of soft chime sounding 'bums.' He took the time he had before his entrance to look at a point high on the wall, anywhere but at Puck. He knew if he looked at the boy now he would have a hard time getting this out. As it was, he was terrified to bare himself to Puck this way in front of the group. When his voice finally joined them, it was clear and crisp yet soft and shy.

_The slightest words you said_

_Have all gone to my head_

_I hear angels sing in your voice_

_When you pull me close_

_Feelings I've never known_

_They mean everything_

_And leave me no choice_

Kurt pictured the way the two of them sat on the couch yesterday, how Puck held him and spoke to him in a calm, reassuring way. It was so relaxing that he had fallen asleep in the others arms. Other than his father, which was a drastically different situation, no one did that kind of thing for him now. No one dried his tears and made him feel loved in that way. Puck had no responsibility to Kurt other than that which he chose; he didn't have to take care of him at all. To be chosen like that was something Kurt had never known before. Now his body craved Puck's touch even more than he thought it possibly could.

_Light on my heart, light on my feet_

_Light in your eyes I can't even speak_

_Do you even know how you make me weak?_

_I'm a lightweight_

_Better be careful what you say_

_With every word I'm blown away_

_You're in control of my heart_

Kurt winced and closed his eyes because he simply couldn't handle what Puck's reaction would be to that declaration. The boy had to know that this song was for him. Puck might be an oblivious straight jock but he had proved that when it came to Kurt he was pretty intuitive in an almost scary kind of way. Kurt knew he saw through all of his defenses and for the first time he actually wanted to let them go of the walls he hid behind.

_I'm a lightweight _

_Easy to fall, easy to break_

_With every move my whole world shakes_

_Keep me from falling apart_

Mercedes and Tina started to snap and sway behind him as practiced and it momentarily pulled him from his internal monologue and brought him back to the audience sitting in front of him. The girls would soon be harmonizing behind him and he hoped that addition of voices would help him feel less alone standing there. He had to do this right; there was no being ashamed of his feelings now.

_Make a promise, please_

_You'll always be in reach_

_Just in case I need_

_You there when I call_

_This is all so new_

_Seems too good to be true_

_Could this really be a safe place to fall?_

Puck wanted to get up and make Kurt stop this whole show. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy the voice or the song itself but he couldn't take any more of Kurt standing in front of him looking so vulnerable and afraid. He wanted to say 'yes this is safe' and tell him that there wasn't a chance that he would let Kurt fall. He knew Kurt had a lot of issues at the beginning trusting him but it finally felt like they were going away and he was opening up. Puck had to fight the tightening in his stomach when he thought about opening Kurt up physically as well, connecting them in a way he had never really known before even with all people he had sex with. He wanted Kurt so badly he couldn't fight it. His body and his mind were finally on the same page and he had to lean forward to hide the excitement at the agreement they shared. He had never wanted to be close to someone so badly before.

_Light on my heart, light on my feet_

_Light in your eyes I can't even speak_

_Do you even know how you make me weak?_

Puck caught Kurt's eye when he sung the question. He was amazed at how vulnerable Kurt looked. It wasn't like Kurt was a threatening person, even when his inner bitch came out, but standing there with his clear blue eyes locked on Puck's, he could see all of Kurt's defenses were falling. In that moment Puck could see a trace of the broken Kurt he had fought for the day before. He needed Kurt to know that he wasn't going to hurt him. He couldn't now. Not ever again.

_I'm a lightweight _

_Better be careful what you say_

_With every word I'm blown away_

_You're in control of my heart_

_I'm a lightweight_

_Easy to fall, easy to break_

_With every move my whole world shakes_

_Keep me from falling apart_

_Keep me from falling down, down_

_Drowned in your love _

_It's almost too much_

_Handle with care_

_Say you'll be there_

Kurt sounded like he was pleading for him to stay, as if Puck would be anywhere else. The fear in Kurt's face and the way he curled in on himself told Puck that he wasn't sure yet that Puck wouldn't one day disappear.

_Oh, I'm a lightweight_

_Better be careful what you say_

_With every word I'm blown away_

_You're in control of my heart_

_I'm a lightweight_

_Easy to fall, easy to break_

_With every move my whole world shakes_

_Keep me from falling apart_

_Keep me from falling apart_

The sound coming from Kurt was so stripped now, so raw that it could be considered a cry rather than him singing. Try as he might he couldn't find a way to regain his fortitude. His hopes were up now and he didn't even know what he expected to happen. How would Puck handle him after he found out everything? Could he still be his friend, or possibly more? Would it have been better to live his teenage years like his father had told him to, lonely and without anyone to truly share himself with until college? Or was it better to have a taste of what it would be like to have another person be a part of your life and then have it taken away when it all became too much for them to handle?

_Keep me from falling apart_

_Falling apart_

Kurt wiped at his cheeks feeling the moisture that had escaped from behind his eyes. The room was silent for a good half a minute before Brittany started everyone in clapping. Kurt looked up and tried to manage some kind of smile for the group that he was sure looked much more like he was wincing. He walked back to sit next to Puck noticing that he wasn't clapping along with everyone else. He had his eyes trained on Kurt with a tight jaw but surprisingly soft looking eyes. When he finally took his seat he felt Puck's arm wind around the back of his chair and it just sit there. He didn't squeeze a shoulder or reach his hand to lie on Kurt's back, and Kurt kind of hoped that he would. He hoped that he would do something to tell him that everything was still alright between them.

Puck didn't miss the glares he got from both Mercedes and Tina this time as they both went to take their places. He also saw that many other faces were turned to watch for his response after Kurt sat. He wasn't about to give them all the satisfaction of seeing him and Kurt figure this out. None of them had given a damn about him up until now so why should they get to see him make a fool of himself and beg Kurt to let him prove that he could be trusted. But he also saw Kurt sitting there beside him looking somewhat defeated and he couldn't just let that look keep happening, so he put his arm around the chair as a support. He hoped that Kurt got the message. He also hoped that they could make it through the rest of glee because all he wanted now was to be alone with Kurt and have this talk that they needed so badly to figure everything out. They had spent too much time dancing around each other and their issues. Even if he wasn't one for deep conversations, Puck knew that the time had finally come that it couldn't be avoided anymore and he was fine with it. He would do whatever he had to do to get Kurt to keep looking at him like he mattered.

**Last Remarks: I'll try to work hard on the next chapter. It is a third of the way done but I don't know when I'll get to finish and edit it. Can I just say though that I am so happy with how great that conversation is going so far, even if there hasn't been THAT much talking yet… take that to mean what you want but it'll be a really fluffy/ angsty/ sexy chapter hopefully.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I know, I suck! It seems like things just never slow down. I moved shortly after I posted 7 and then things just kind of took off from there. On the positive side I started taking a medication to help my depression and it is working wonderfully. On the downside, the lack of shutting myself in to read and write fic has resulted in much less being produced. **

**This isn't a long chapter like the others but I wanted to get the conversation over with and get everything out in the open. I hope you all like it as I am nervous because of all the build up. I am also kind of wondering where to go from here. I would love to say that this series is going to continue but I think It would be nicer of me to say this is the end point and its more likely to get a one-shot in this universe every now and then. So I hope you enjoy and aren't too mad at me for the insane lack of writing recently.**

**Chapter 8:**

By the end of glee it seemed like everyone except for Mercedes had gotten over the surprising intensity of Kurt's performance. People strolled out of the room barely noticing Kurt and Puck still sitting side by side. It was as if the two had made a silent agreement to be the last ones out of the room. Or maybe they both just had the same idea of "if I don't move then there is a chance everyone will forget I'm here." It was obvious that there was no such luck as Mercedes made her way over to them with her eyes clearly trained on Puck.

"It seems you've convinced my boy Kurt here that you've changed your ways and you play nice now but I don't believe it yet. You've been a jerk way too long and you've always used people to get what you want. But Lord help me Puck, if you drop my boy like a ton of bricks when you get whatever it is you want out of him, I will make sure it's the last thing you ever do to hurt anyone." Mercedes softened her expression slightly but still looked perturbed as her attention turned to Kurt. "Boo, you know I love you but be careful okay? If not for yourself then do it for me because I really don't want to see you hurt."

Mercedes didn't wait for an answer knowing well enough that Kurt would probably just play offended at the thought that he couldn't take care of himself. She had seen that look enough times to know when it was coming. Kurt could be difficult and he had too much pride which meant that he got hurt because he wouldn't just do himself a favor and play it safe. She knew better than anyone else his need to be a diva because it was what brought them together in the first place but it didn't mean that she sometimes wished he would just tone it down for his own good.

Once she was gone Puck turned to Kurt and let his arm fall forward off of the back of the chair and rest heavily around Kurt's waist.

"You ready."

Kurt was shocked. He wasn't sure what to expect but he had just bared his soul through song and Puck was being way to nonchalant about the whole thing.

"So are we not even going to acknowledge what just happened here?"

"It's going to take a lot more than Aretha to scare me off at this point."

"I wasn't talking about that, I meant-"

"I know what you meant," Puck interrupted.

"Look I get it okay and I'm trying to be gentle with all of this stuff but I'm not used to someone… depending on me and crap. Quinn gave away our kid because she knew I couldn't be that guy. So I _am_ trying but that's all I've got for you right now."

Kurt sometimes wondered if Puck had more issues than he did. Between whatever it was that made him act out for so long, probably his dad leaving, and what went down last year with Quinn and the whole 'baby-gate' drama it wouldn't be much of a shock.

"I guess that'll do then. Anyway, we have a lot to talk about as it is today so I'll let all of that self deprecating commentary go for the time being but we will be addressing your surprising lack of self esteem at some point."

"I didn't understand most of what you just said so if I say 'fine' can we just get out of here?"

Kurt smirked at him and then stood up shouldering his bag and walking off towards the door. Puck couldn't help but admire his ass as he went to follow him out to the parking lot. He thought that Kurt had rebounded well enough from the emotional performance earlier. Hopefully their discussion to come wouldn't be too intense because Puck kind of thought happy Kurt was fucking hot.

Puck followed Kurt into his house feeling like this was the best routine he had ever developed. Kurt hung up his coat and walked into the TV room without even looking back at him. He shut the front door and hung his own letterman jacket before following. Kurt was already waiting for him sitting on the edge of the couch and leaning forward.

"How do you want to do this? I know that you wanted to talk to me but there are also some things that I have wanted to tell you too," Kurt started.

"I think I might actually have an idea what you're going to say."

The look of shock on Kurt's face quickly faded to disbelief.

"Trust me when I say that it's not likely. I don't think you could fathom something of this magnitude without your head exploding."

Kurt laughed but it was a dark sort of tone, not the bright sound Puck had grown to love. Puck hated the way he did that sometimes. He had noticed that Kurt tended to think the worst of people, and that was one thing but part of it also sounded like Kurt didn't believe that he was good enough. It was almost like he thought he was such a freak that he deserved it when other people blew up at him. Puck couldn't let someone he cared about, possibly the first person he had ever cared about in _this_ way, think about himself like that.

"Hey!" Puck suddenly found himself angry and in need to take charge. "Look, when I said we needed to have a talk maybe I should have been clearer or whatever. What I mean was that I think you've been holding back on me and that's gotta stop. Whatever this thing is we are doing here, it can't work if we don't trust each other. I finally got you to stop having a damn seizure every time I tried to touch you but that doesn't mean you can stay closed off inside too."

Kurt didn't think he had ever heard Puck string together so many words in such an almost well thought out way. There was no foul language and it sounded really _honest_ actually. It's not like Puck had been a complete jerk to him lately and it was obvious that he was making an effort even if he made a gargantuan mess of it most of the time. But this was new, this verbalizing person in front of him.

"Sorry, I didn't realize- I mean, I guess that's just my natural tendency. I'll try to be more forthcoming."

"Good, and while you're at it maybe you can not use all the crazy big words all the time. It's hot that you're smart and shit but let's just keep it simple okay? I have a feeling this thing is gonna get complicated enough without me needing a dictionary to decode half of what you're saying."

Kurt couldn't tell whether the blush he was sporting was because of the fact that Puck had given him a compliment about his being smart or, more likely, that he had used that other word again. Kurt didn't understand for a minute how the word 'hot' and him had ended up in the same sentence repeatedly but he wasn't exactly about to ask Puck to stop.

"I think I can handle that."

"Good"

Puck shoved his hands in his pockets knowing that this was where it was going to start. They were actually going to talk about what was going on between them. Puck was still getting used to there being a _'them'_ in the first place. He had no clue how it had happened that Kurt fucking Hummel and him had wound up in a position where they could be referred to together but it felt so right to think about it that way.

"Did you want to sit down? You don't have to but… I have a feeling this could be a long talk and I can't guarantee it's all going to make the most sense for you."

"Yeah," Puck shrugged with his hands still in his pockets trying to fight off the unusual nerves he was having. "Sitting might be a good idea for this."

Puck walked over and sat next to Kurt. They both turned a little bit so that they were facing each other. Kurt was bouncing one of his legs up and down so fast that it was almost a blur. Puck reached over to still him but kept his hand on Kurt's thigh until their eyes finally connected. Puck was leaning towards Kurt in order to initiate the contact.

"I'm not gonna run you know. Whatever you tell me, I'm here."

"I wish I _could_ know that. I want more than anything to feel like what I have to say is as simple as telling you that I like warm milk before bed on long stressful days but the truth, in this case, is that I've never told anyone what I'm going to tell you. I haven't even told my _dad_. The one man who has been there for me my whole life and I can't talk to him about this because I'm scared that it'll give him another heart attack or something."

Kurt could feel the tears building up behind his eyes and he felt so pathetic. He wished that Puck didn't have to see him cry so much. He wanted to be strong and confident but it was a hazard of being beaten down so often, both literally and figuratively, that his instincts were to anticipate being hurt every time he came close to baring his soul to anyone.

"So, no, I'd like to have the comfort of knowing you'll stick around after this but there is a big part of me that is screaming right now to just throw you out and tell you to forget any of this has ever happened."

Puck didn't know what to say to that. He knew that he and Kurt had worked through the majority of their previous bully/bullied relationship but he was also well aware that he was one guy. Kurt lived in a world where people threw him around daily and called him names without even thinking about the damage they were doing. This was the result of all of those years of stupidity and hate. Kurt was sitting before him afraid to let him in, afraid to let anyone in, and Puck didn't know he could feel any worse than he already did about being one of the people who had forced Kurt to build up those walls. What the hell was he supposed to say to undo all of the damage of the past, what, 8 years at least? If there was something he sure as fuck couldn't think of it.

Puck figured that if there was one thing that was great about him and Kurt it was that when they had a rough day they mostly just liked having each other close, physically. They weren't particularly verbal all the time but they had their own language which consisted of soft whispered caresses, and firm arms holding tightly. They had whole conversations without a single word being said.

With that idea in mind Puck figured the best way to relax Kurt and get him to open up and know that he was really, honestly, truly there was to use that kind of language to convince him.

"C'mere."

Puck let his hand travel from Kurt's thigh to his waist, and then trailed it around his back to pull him flush against his side. He reached his other hand up to guide Kurt's head to his shoulder before pulling him so that he was just holding him in a loose hug while they both just breathed for a minute.

After a little while the inhale and exhale of air was the only sound in the room, and Kurt found himself starting to giggle.

"I swear I don't know if I will ever get over the fact that it was you who finally broke through. It might have hurt every day but I had accepted the fact that I was going to be alone until I went off to college, unless 'prince charming' showed up out of some fairy tale and swept me off my feet."

Kurt lifted his head so that he was looking directly at Puck before he finished.

"Who knew that what I should have been waiting for was a bad boy type with a mohawk and a guitar."

They both laughed a little at the way that Kurt had summed him up. Puck mostly found it amusing because he knew that even though that was what everyone saw when they looked at him, Kurt was commenting on how he had finally seen past that and knew he had more to offer than anyone had ever cared to see before.

"Ass, babe. Bad boy makes it sound like your casting me as the member of some boy band. I'm called a bad_ass_."

"I don't know. From what I can tell it's not a bad ass at all."

Suddenly they both stopped their laughter. Kurt couldn't believe he had said that out loud. This whole conversation was going wildly out of his control but in a not bad way at all, and honestly he didn't think they had reached what either of them had intended to talk about in the slightest.

Kurt took comfort in the fact that Puck's arms around him didn't loosen at all. In fact if he was correct Puck was tightening his hold a bit. He pulled himself from the shock of his own forwardness and found Puck analyzing his face.

"You done over thinking now?"

Kurt let his hands wander from his own lap for the first time since Puck had pulled him close and found them taking up residence on the front of Puck's tee shirt. It was some atrocious black cotton with a hole in the underarm and a faded skull design on the front. He could feel the taught muscles of Puck's self proclaimed amazing abs (who was he to disagree) beneath the fabric as his fingers trailed up to his chest.

Kurt wasn't completely confident in his ability to speak now but he was able to get out a breathy, "Yeah, sorry."

"Good."

Puck was done fighting it. Kurt had his freaking hands on his chest and he was looking up at him with all pink cheeks and soft lips. Puck leaned down slightly, closing the inches separating their faces and pressed his lips to Kurt's. Those lips were even softer than they looked and the little whimper that Kurt let out when they finally touched was just about the hottest thing he had ever heard. Puck took the opportunity when Kurt's lips parted to suck the lower one into his mouth and bite down gently on it tugging as he pulled back before letting go.

"You okay?"

Kurt didn't even try to find words this time but just nodded instead. He was the one to lean up for the second kiss spurring Puck on even more. Brittany had told him that boys tasted like burgers or dip and honestly as far as he could remember the only thing he had tasted off of Karofsky was his own fear. But this was nothing like he had expected. Puck's lips didn't really taste of food or anything distinguishable. It wasn't a particularly sweet taste. He thought to himself that he simply tasted like Puck.

When their lips met for the second time Puck slowly opened up Kurt's with his own mouth and let his tongue slide in gently seeking out permission to have his way. Kurt was making more of his ridiculously sexy noises, which were basically him whining and keening into Puck's mouth. When their tongues touched Kurt surged forward bringing his arms around Puck's neck to pull him in closer. Puck lapped at Kurt's mouth in response trying to taste every bit of tender pink before teasingly pulling back so he could listen to Kurt some more. Kurt was breathing heavy and had his eyes closed in a dreamy look. Every couple of seconds he would hum or give out a small needy mewl. Puck took his time kissing the side of Kurt's mouth or trailing up and down that soft jaw line to allow him to keep up the soundtrack.

Eventually Kurt couldn't take the teasing anymore. He let his head fall to Puck's shoulder and buried his face in the warm, slightly moist skin of his neck.

"That was…"

"I know babe. I've got you."

Puck let his arms tighten around Kurt and he rocked them slightly just enjoying the feel of air caressing his neck as Kurt calmed down. This wasn't his first kiss or anything so he could keep it together and allow Kurt the moment to regroup but he was also thankful for the break. That kiss was full of want and passion and _build-up_, oh god the fucking build-up of more than a week of confusion. Puck was having a little trouble right now keeping himself calm, or more specifically one part of his anatomy. He wasn't about to try and push this any further because he was sure this was Kurt's first time and he deserved to be able to enjoy it just as it was. Plus, they did have a discussion to get back to at some point, not that anyone was rushing here.

Kurt was kind of stuck in some mental replay situation where he just kept repeating the same thoughts over and over to himself in his head. Puck had kissed him. He kissed Puck back. He currently had his face in Puck's neck breathing in the scent of musky skin and sweat and _**Puck**_**!** This was quickly becoming his favorite moment ever and nothing could ruin it. Over and over thoughts kept repeating.

Kurt didn't know how long they had been in that position but eventually his mind slowed down its loop and he came back to reality and the knowledge that they still had to address a lot of things before his dad got home. With one last sigh and a quick nuzzle into the heat of Puck's pulse point, Kurt pulled away to look at Puck again.

"I wish that had been my first time."

Kurt didn't know how that wound up being the first word's out of his mouth but there they were. Puck was giving him a sad look now and he wanted more than anything to take it back. But then Puck was leaning in and pressing a gentle, sure kiss to his lips. When he pulled away he looked deeply into Kurt's eyes so that he couldn't miss it when he spoke.

"It was the first time that counted, babe."

Kurt smiled so brightly that he thought his face might actually break from stretching so wide. How had he wound up so lucky? This was going so much better than he could have ever anticipated already. Kurt slipped out of Puck's grasp and slid so that his back was to the opposite side of the couch. He pulled his legs up under himself and wrapped one arm around his waist to hold his own arm.

"Now I guess we should actually have that talk."

"I don't want to push you but I think that might be a good idea. I have some guesses but I don't want to say the wrong thing and make a fool out of myself here so maybe you should just tell me what's up."

Kurt took in a deep breath and held it as he turned his head to survey the room. He didn't have any clue how to start this conversation. It wasn't like he had ever actually told anyone before and even though he had thought about what to say in his head, there was suddenly nothing but blank canvas where his mentally prepared speeches had been before.

"I, um- Well I guess I could start by telling you that I'm not really gay. I know everyone thinks that I am but I'm not. Or well, I don't think I am, technically. Wow, so this is not coming out right at all."

Kurt was shaking his head with his eyes closed and Puck just didn't want him to freak out. He reached out and pried Kurt's death grip off of his own arm and held his hand.

"I think I get it. I mean I know we just made out and all but it didn't feel gay to me. I don't really know what gay feels like but that just felt kind of less dudely, right? I mean it just kind of felt right to me. It didn't feel like a guy kiss or a girl kiss just, ya know…"

Puck figured he must have said something good because Kurt was smiling again now.

"Yes, it definitely felt right." Kurt squeezed Puck's hand in his. "But I'm not gay because I don't really see myself as a guy."

There it was. He had finally said it out loud to someone for the first time and he didn't even stutter. Kurt was holding his breath again and looking at Puck waiting for some kind of response. Was he going to blow up? Was he going to leave? Maybe he was going to look like he misheard him? But when Kurt finally saw Puck meet his eyes, he looked… relieved, actually.

"Are you okay now, convinced I'm not going to just bolt out the door now that you've said it? It's okay Kurt. _We_ are okay."

Puck leaned over to press a kiss to his lips again and pull him back over closer to his side of the couch. And, wow, Kurt was going to have to get familiar with this because if Puck was going to keep kissing him like it was the simplest and most normal act on the face of the planet, concentrating on speaking was going to be exceptionally difficult.

"I don't know how I got so lucky but you are making this way too easy for me. I've spent so much time preparing for the worst that I don't know what to do with how well you are taking this all. And I haven't even gotten to the details yet."

"Get used to it babe because I love it when you look at me all proud and surprised at how good I can be. At least I know I'm doing something right."

"Hey, stop that." Kurt swatted at his shoulder. "You're talking about my boyfriend there."

It was the first time that either of them had used the word and it wasn't like they had decided that was what they were now but it felt right. Kurt didn't even have to think before he said it. Puck was talking Kurt's hand again to regain his focus from his latest little mini-freak out. God, Puck found it so cute how quickly Kurt got thrown off and needed to be pulled back from his own head.

"I think I'm good with that," Puck said with a smirk. "Now, why don't you start to fill me in on some of those details you were talking about before? As much as I'm cool with this all, I have no clue what it all means beyond a whole lot of really weird, perfect sense."

They both laughed at Puck's summary of the situation before Kurt was snuggling back into Puck's arm against the couch. This was going to take a while but they were both comfortable with that, and each other.

"Honestly, it's not like I've always known. I've read stories about people who say that they knew as far back as they could remember that they were in the wrong body. It wasn't like that for me. Sure, I was always uncomfortable in my own skin, sort of. But I just thought it was because I wanted to be taller, or skinnier, or more perfect. Then I grew and started slimming down, and even then I wasn't happy."

Kurt was shaking his head again and getting lost in his head but Puck let him this time. He knew it must have been hard to put all of this into words and he would be there if he was needed but he also knew that Kurt's safe place was in his own head and if that was where he needed to go to get through this then that was fine. Puck was good holding his hand and waiting for him to come back.

"I remember the first time I hear the word gay. It was fourth grade. We were talking about a story that we had read for class, The Legend of Sleepy Hallow. It must have been around Halloween. I laughed and made some joke about the guy's nose being like a bird and I was giggling to myself when they kid next to me turned and told me to shut up. He was loud and everyone was looking at us, and then he said it. 'You're so gay!' I didn't know what he meant but the teacher told us to settle down and moved on trying to get the other kids to stop laughing."

Puck felt so bad for him. By the look on his face it was obvious that this thing which happened years ago still hurt him a lot. It wasn't fair how much Kurt had to deal with, and for so long. Puck hated that he had ever been a part of that pain for Kurt.

"It was like a floodgate had opened after that. It's almost funny because for the fact that I had never heard that word before it felt like I couldn't stop hearing it after that day. Part of me was glad once I found out what it meant. I knew that it was true. I never wanted to kiss the other girls when I was little like the other boys joked about. I knew that I was attracted to boys, and now I had a name for that. It wasn't long after that I did my research and found gay stereotypes who looked and acted like me. No matter what I did though I just never felt right. It felt like I was playing a part, the best acting performance of my life. It just wasn't me."

Puck watched as something in Kurt's eyes shifted. His face got softer and his eyes brighter as if he was remembering something good finally. The look on Kurt's face was so happy and Puck took a minute to enjoy it because he had a feeling it wasn't going to stay there once Kurt got back to his explanation.

"My mom used to have this silk robe. My dad bought it for her, I think, and she loved it. She would let me wear it sometimes when she got ready to go out and I would be following her around with it flowing out behind me. After she died my dad got rid of it. I spent weeks after she died laying by her dresser and smelling her perfume wishing I had the soft caress of that robe back. I think it was probably right after I joined glee club that Mercedes and I were shopping and she wanted to go to Victoria's Secret." Kurt laughed again in that not really funny way. "Sometimes it's the simplest thing that totally changes your life. We were in the store and I was running my hand along feeling the fabric idly when I touched this robe and the memory of my mom popped into my head. When I looked, there was a little black silk robe on a hanger. I was barely thinking when I took it up to the register and paid for it. I'd like to think my mother knew that when I grew up I wanted to be just like her. When I got home I stood in front of my mirror and thought that I finally felt like me. When I closed my eyes and pictured myself having never been a boy at all or with some guy next to me knowing I was his girlfriend it just finally made sense to me."

Kurt closed his eyes and tried to regain his senses. There was a lot more to it but that was what he needed to say. He hoped that Puck could understand it all because it was hard enough getting that all out. Kurt opened his eyes and Puck was sitting there looking at him patiently waiting.

"I've known since then but you're the first person I've told, and it just hurt's so much keeping it all to myself." Suddenly, Kurt was crying again and falling forward into Puck's arms where Puck held him and stroked his back. "I'm so glad that you proved me wrong. I'm so glad that you're here, Puck."

"I told you, I've got you. I can't say that I understand because I can't imagine what that all must have been like but you are the bravest and strongest person I know babe. I'm glad that I finally see you for who you are too."

Puck placed a kiss to the top of Kurt's head as he softly cried into his chest. If anyone else saw him right now they would be shocked. Hell, _he_ would even call himself a pussy right now. There was nothing badass about this whole situation right now but he didn't care. Kurt was there and needed him and they were finally on the same page. Reputation be damned, he was doing this.

**End Note: Sorry again for the abrupt ending of the series. As I said, I would like to do a couple of one shots. Maybe one from Burt's POV telling what happens from here and a conversation where Kurt finally comes out to him. **

**Another where Kurt picks out a chosen name and where he can start living as female and exploring what that means for her. I intentionally used male pronouns throughout this series because I think that it's a big deal to actually make that transition into the feminine and as a trans person it took me a long time before even I felt comfortable with the newness of those words. **

**I'd also kind of like to do some other monumental points in their relationship such as a coming out to their friends, Puck dealing with what his sexuality now is, What exactly sex for them is like. Hint: in my mind its not just the same as gay sex. **

**So if I ever stop being a douche canoe and actually start writing again maybe you will all get some more Puckurty goodness. For now though just my love and apologies and hopes that this at least caps the story off in a somewhat acceptable way. *Hugs***


End file.
