Harry Potter 1. Prologue

Prologue

**'_I can't help but think that this world is cruel.'_**

"Hermione!"

Hermione looked up from the book in her lap as her mother's voice echoed through their house.

Hermione placed the book face down on the armchair as she called back to her mother. She found her leafing through their mail near the front door.

"You have a letter," her mother replied when she stepped up to her.

Hermione took the strange looking letter in her hands.

"I didn't think people still used wax seals on letters," she said to herself as her mother watched her open the letter curiously.

Hermione's mother continued to wait patiently but eventually her curiosity got the better of her.

"What does it say?"

Hermione looked up at her mother and only just realised that her mouth was still hanging open. She quickly closed her mouth and swallowed. She then looked up at her mother as a smile spread across her face.

**'**_**How stupid I was. When I received that letter from a school called Hogwarts, I had thought that my life would change for the better. I wouldn't be stared at as the weird loner girl, who just didn't know when to shut up. Now that I think back I really miss being that girl.'**

* * *

  
_

"Goodbye my darling," her mother hugged her tightly as they approached the train platform.

Her father was scowling, he hadn't said a word to her the entire trip to the train station.

"I don't understand why we can't see your school," he said finally folding his arms across his chest and his mother rolled her eyes at him.

This was not the first time that he had asked Hermione this question, but even though she got her stubborn streak from him she also got her patience from her mother.

"Because dad, only people who have magical ability will be able to see the school, if you got there all you'd probably see was a castle ruin, if even that, and obviously you wouldn't let me stay there if you did."

Her father 'humphed' then unfolded his arms to look at her.

"But you'll be safe?"

"I'll be fine," Hermione grinned up at him, "I've already studied all the required text for this year, and I've loved everything I've learnt so far. I can't wait to actually meet the teachers, transfiguration sounds incredibly complicated."

"So it'll probably be your favourite subject by the year end," her father sighed though she noted the pride in his voice.

She simply shrugged at him.

Then her face fell. She stared down at the ground. She felt her eyes begin to sting.

Suddenly the reality of the situation was dawning on her.

"I'm going to miss you guys," she said as she wiping the traitorous tears from her eyes.

She hated crying, she would never let anyone see her cry. It was a sign of weakness, something she had learnt in her early years at school. If the bullies saw you cry they knew you were an easy target. Better to compose yourself and only let out your anger with no one else around, she would only make her parents worry about her otherwise.

But on this occasion her tears dripped down her face no matter how hard she tried to hide them.

She saw her father's face appear before her.

"I'll miss you too, promise to write to us everyday, we want to know everything you learn."

"Yes," her mother agreed kneeling down beside her father so that they were both on eye level with her, "You can hardly go off learning fantastic new abilities and theories and not let us in on it, it would drive your dad mad."

Hermione giggled when her father made a 'you mean it'd drive you mad' face to her mother.

"Oh my goodness, its almost time," her mother said in a rush looking at the clock above them, "Hurry now."

They helped her over to the wall between platform 9 and 10. They had been given instructions by Professor McGonnagal, who had given all the non magical families a crash course on their children's school life and more importantly how they would get to the oddly named Platform 9 and ¾.

"Hurry you lot!"

Hermione heard a woman shouting at her brood of children as they raced down the platform towards them.

"Bye," she said looking back at her parents when they kissed her.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Her father looked back when someone accidentally knocked into him.

"Ron, watch what you're doing," the mother of the boy scolded him and he instantly turned almost as red as his hair, "I'm so sorry, all these children can be a handful, and their father rushed off to work for some emergency and left me to deal with them all on my own."

"Alright mum, they don't need to know your life history," one of the older children cut in, "We'll be late if you start telling them how you and dad met."

The woman turned and instantly silenced the boy.

"It's quite alright," Hermione's mother replied, "Are you…going to Hogwarts?"

Her mother whispered the last word and looked around them as though the crowds at the train station would even understand what that meant.

"Oh," the woman's eyes widened in surprise before she smiled at them, "yes all my children except my youngest are going to Hogwarts. This'll be Ron's first year."

At the mention of his name the boy's face again turned bright red. She caught his eye for a second but he instantly looked away, she noticed him fidgeting and tugging at his strange woolen shirt with an R stitched across the front.

"Mum," another of the boys said in an exasperated voice and it was only then that Hermione realised that they were twins.

"Oh alright George," his mother replied.

"I'm not George, he is," the boy replied irritably, "Honestly woman, and you call yourself our mother."

"Well off you go then Fred," she pointed at the wall and he instantly walked towards it.

"I'm only joking, I am George."

The woman huffed at them but the boy and his twin had just disappeared into the wall.

She saw her father's mouth drop but he quickly hid it behind his hand.

"Don't you worry about your girl, I'll make sure she gets on the train," The woman said to her mother.

"That's very kind of you," Hermione's mother replied the relief evident in her voice, "I'm sorry I haven't asked for your name."

"It's Molly, Molly Weasley."

While her parents quickly asked Molly Weasley questions about the school Hermione caught a glimpse of something or someone rather, standing behind the woman.

"Hello," Hermione greeted her.

The girl's eyes widened when she spoke to her.

"Hello," she replied stepping out from behind her mother.

"I'm Hermione."

The girl stared at her then at her parents.

"Are you muggles?" the girl questioned slowly.

"My parents are yes, but I have magical ability, at least I think I do," she replied.

The girls face fell and she looked at Hermione sadly.

"You shouldn't go to Hogwarts."

Hermione was taken a back, did this girl not like muggle borns at Hogwarts? She had read about prejudices of this kind in one of her books.

"Why?"

"My dad said – "

"What did dad say?"

The girl gasped and turned round to see her brother standing beside them now. He looked at Hermione and blushed slightly before looking back at his sister.

"You listening in on dad on the floo again?"

"I didn't mean to," the girl replied vehemently.

Her brother snorted as though he didn't believe her.

"That's why he had to go in to work so suddenly this morning."

"What do you mean?" he asked her his face furrowing in confusion.

"RON!"

The boy jumped at his mothers scream.

"Get on the platform before you miss the train."

"Alright," he mumbled, "No need to shout like a harpie. Come on then Ginny."

Hermione watched as he and his sister walked through the brick wall. She swallowed nervously and looked up at the woman who was standing with her parents.

"Go on dear, best to do it with a bit of a run if you're nervous."

Hermione nodded and waved goodbye to her parents before rushing towards the wall.

"Whoa!"

Hermione opened her eyes and saw that she had almost run straight into the boy and his sister.

"Oh sorry I –"

But her words died on her lips.

"Wow!" she said walking forwards to look at the train.

"Hurry now."

Hermione turned to see the boy's mother running over to them.

"I'll take care of these, you two just get on before all the seats are full."

"Whose that?" the boy called Ron questioned.

"Oh this boy just wanted to know how to get onto the platform."

Hermione looked over her shoulder at the dark haired boy with broken glasses. She heard him mumble his name, Harry something, before she stepped onto the train. A few moments later the red haired boy and the other boy boarded the train.

"Don't worry Gin, I'll write to tell you all about it," he shouted out the window as the train began to move out of the platform.

But instead of replying to her brother the girl was looking at her, a strange expression on her face, a mixture of sadness and pity.

Hermione jumped when she felt someone place their hand on her shoulder.

"You, you're coming with me."

"Hey!" the red haired boy said instantly stepping up to her.

Hermione turned round to see a tall boy wearing a green uniform.

"All the muggle borns need to be given a _special speech_ before they get to Hogwarts," the boy said, though she didn't like the way he said 'special speech' and neither did either of the boys next to her.

"Don't worry, you'll see enough of her later," the boy smirked, "In fact I'll put in a special word for you if you like the mudblood so much."

She saw the red haired boy's eyes narrow at this, and as she followed the older boy away he stared after her a concerned expression on his face.

"What's a 'mudblood'?" the other boy questioned.

But the red haired boy didn't reply, he just watched her as she left.

* * *

"In you go," the boy said as he pushed her into an empty carriage

She was at least glad she wasn't alone but the sight before her didn't exactly fill her with giddiness or confidence.

The curtains were pulled in the carriage and it took a while to get used to the dark but when she did she saw the dark figures around her were just like her, all first years. She saw some of the girls on the floor huddled together and she walked over to them. Everyone else in the room stared at her wide eyed but they didn't seem capable of speech, but she heard the girls on the ground whispering to each other.

"What's going on?" she said knelling down beside them.

They all gasped and spun around to look at her.

Silence descended on the group, only broken when one of the girls started crying. Some of the girls around her placed their arms around her to comfort her.

"Y– you a muggleborn too?" a girl with brown hair questioned.

Hermione nodded.

At her response several of the other girls began crying as well.

"What's going on?" she repeated her question staring around at the group as panic began to rise within her.

Instead of replying one of the girls handed her a newspaper article.

"_Minister Missing?! New Minister Malfoy elected_," she read the headline on the front page before looking up at the girls.

"Keep reading," the brown haired girl said in response.

Hermione's eyes quickly skimmed the rest of the paper before her hands began to shake.

"_Efficient and effective measures to deal with the Muggleborn issue_."

Hermione's breathing increased as she looked up at the girls around her.

"Ah no need to explain the basics to you then."

They all turned to see the boy in green robes who had grabbed her earlier and another girl beside him. A few of the kids around her shifted away from them as they stepped further into the room.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, servants."

**'**_**Dear Mum and Dad, **_**_I can't help but think that this world is cruel_**_**...'**

* * *

_

**A/N: I really shouldn't be starting a new fic, I should be concentrating on my finishing my othe fics but this story wouldn't leave me alone. Actually I should say that this _version_ of Hermione wouldn't leave me alone, keep reading and you'll understand why I couldn't stop myself from writing this fic. But either way I hope you like'd this fic so far and please tell me you'd like me to continue.**


	2. You left me hanging from a thread

**Chapter One –You left me hanging from a thread  
**

"_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_How are you? I am fine…._

_Actually I am not fine. I am the exact opposite of fine, as far away from being fine as it is humanly possible. _

_I want to come home, take me home. I hate it here. I am treated like a slave everyday. I get spat at, shouted at and treated like I'm worthless, less than worthless, as though my very existence is a burden on those around me._

_I didn't have the nerve to tell you this before, but it's been like this since first year. I stubbornly refused to give up for five years but now I can't take it anymore._

_I thought that I would be able to start over here. But I can't fight anymore, I'm tired of fighting. Everyday I wake up with the realisation that I will never escape this place and I can't help but feel that this is a cruel world. How can the government let this happen? Why isn't anyone fighting to free us?_

_But I don't care anymore about anyone else, all I want is to leave this place._

_Please, please take me home!"_

Hermione chewed at the end of her quill and stared at the parchment in front of her. The bustle and noise of the kitchen couldn't distract from this one task. Sighing she scrunched up the piece of paper and jammed it into her pocket.

She desperately wanted to tell her parents everything that had happened to her over the last five years but she couldn't bring herself to tell them. She knew before this whole thing started that she was as stubborn as hell, but now it was beyond ridiculous.

"There you are."

Hermione started and looked up from the table. Anna walked towards her, her arms laden with dirty linens.

"Can you help me?"

Hermione instantly stood up and helped her friend place the linens on the table.

"Did you have much trouble?" Hermione asked her friend as they separated the linens into piles.

"No," Anna replied, "I told you they're always gone around now."

Hermione mused on this for a moment.

"This one's yours."

Hermione looked up to see her friend handing her white and red stripped pillow cases with grass stains on them.

Hermione sighed.

"What does he wear these to Quiddicth practice or something," she said as she looked at them despairingly.

"You're as cheerful as ever," Lavender said as she entered the kitchen side stepping a few elves who were rushing with last minute dinner preparations.

Hermione didn't bother to reply but simply shrugged her shoulders.

"Writing to your parents again?" Anna asked when she didn't reply.

Hermione simply nodded her head.

Lavender dropped down into the seat across the table. She reached across the table and began sorting out the sheets

"We wouldn't blame you for leaving," Lavender said looking up momentarily before returning to her work, "Merlin knows you aren't the first or last."

Hermione slumped over the table. It was true that most of the kids left the first day, and not just the first years. Who could blame them? To suddenly be told that their classmates, the people they have lived with for the past few years essentially owned them.

Hermione had thought that the newly created government would try to stop them leaving. It was only after she saw all the muggleborn students packing their bags and walking towards the train that would take them home did she realise the truth. The ministry officials, the other students they weren't trying to stop them, they had let them go.

Because the truth was that they weren't trying to enslave the muggleborns, not really, they were trying to get rid of them, to weed them out from the pureblood society.

Hermione looked over at her friend before she spoke.

"Parvati really did leave then?" she said softly dragging another grass stained bed sheet towards her.

Lavender simply nodded.

"Padma's still here though," Anna replied as though this were something to celebrate.

"Yeah well Ravenclaws don't treat us as badly as the rest," Lavender explained a hint of bitterness in her voice, "Padma told me that some of them had actually started teaching their servants some basic magic."

"Well that's only because they want to make sure that their servants get the right books for them in the library, and of actual use to them in their studies," Hermione replied, "Why couldn't I be sorted into Ravenclaw rather than to Gryffindor where the highlight of their lives is the next Quidditch game."

"Their not all bad, besides I feel worse for the Slytherin's," Anna said softly as she walked over to the large wooden tub in the corner of the room. She threw the sheets in before she began throwing in the white detergent soap.

The elves around her looked as though they wanted to rush over and help her, their natural instincts to help warring with the knowledge of what would happen if they did.

Hermione looked down at her hands where the silver bracelets were strapped to her wrists and her fingers traced the red burn marks around them.

She tried not to think about how they had come to wear what were essentially handcuffs, but it was hard to keep the memory drifting back into her thoughts after they had just been talking about Parvati.

"_Well since you all know so much we can skip the explanations," the boy they know knew as Marcus Flint said before he opened a crate beside him._

_The kids around her screamed in pain as objects began to fly towards them. But it was no use, no matter how much they screamed or tried to fight them off the silver bracelets strapped themselves to their wrists and ankles. It had hurt at first like they were burning into her skin but the pain soon subsided._

"_I would explain the rules behind these little trinkets," the girl beside Marcus said before smiling at them, "But you are at Hogwarts to learn so I think we should let you learn the rules on your own."_

_After all the others students had left the great hall, the muggle born children were quickly sorted before being dragged off to their respective house dormitories._

_They should have been going to sleep in their beds but instead they were told to sleep on the floor in front of their 'Masters' rooms._

_Hermione spent that night, as she was pretty sure all the other children had, wide awake and terrified for what the future held for them. _

_When morning came she was stiff, sore and cold from being forced to lay on the cold stone floors. The sun had barely begun to rise when they were all dragged up from the floor and lead towards the lower catacombs of the school. _

_That was the first time she had seen elves, and it was the first time she had seen someone almost die before her. She shivered as the memory of Parvati writhing in pain on the floor flashed before her eyes._

"Hermione," she heard Lavender beside her.

She looked over at her trying her best to smile.

"I know…" Lavender said before a long pause lapsed between them.

"At least your Master doesn't treat you like rubbish," Hermione said grabbing the pile of linens and walking over to another large wooden basin before tossing them inside with as much spite as was possible.

"Nope, he just ignores I'm there," Lavender replied, "But your right Seamus is better than that idiot you have."

"Don't I know it," Hermione mumbled to herself as she used the large wooden ladle to mix the water around.

She gripped the handle much tighter than was necessary.

"Do you know what sucks the most," she said after silence had once again lapsed between them.

"What?" Anna questioned looking over at her.

"I hate that the person I've become."

"Well we all hate being servants," Lavender replied.

"No," Hermione said with a sigh, "This isn't me, I'm not this submissive little – coward who just accepts the fact that she gets ordered around but the most egotistical, arrogant, brain dead git in the entire planet."

Hermione sighed once more before looking up at her the two friends she had left at Hogwarts.

"I just want to be me again."

The two girls didn't know how to reply to this so they simply nodded at her before returning to their work.

"If you do go back," Lavender said later as they were folding up the linens, "At least you have friends back home."

"Oh, that boy that visited you during third year," Anna recalled, "He sounded sweet."

"I didn't actually get to see him, I was staying here for Christmas and my parents only told me about it later," Hermione explained, "And besides we only knew each other in first grade, I'm surprised he still remembers me."

"What was his name again?"

"Lance," Hermione replied, "At least I think it was."

She thought about this for a moment. She hadn't seen or heard from him since and it was so strange that he visited her at all, she wondered what it was that he wanted. Her parents gave her his new address and telephone number but she never wrote to him, why on earth would she divulge her problems to someone she knew for a few months when she was six years old.

"Oww, son-of- a…" Hermione rubbed her hands as she was literally shocked back to reality. She dried her hands off before standing up, "Guess who's back from practice and hungry no doubt."

Hermione turned round and walked over to where the house elves were clearing the dishes.

"I'm coming you impatient jerk," Hermione grumbled as the electic shock ran through her hands and she quickly placed the tray of food in her arms and walked out of the kitchen.

She saw the stream of students rushing out the Great Hall as she took the servants route up the numerous levels of the schools. She banged her elbows a few times against the narrow passageway but was careful not to lose her balance, it wouldn't be the first time someone broke a limb walking up the endless flights of stairs in the under lit corridor.

She steadied her breathing when she finally reached the Gryffindor common room. She leaned against the wall for a moment to compose herself before she pushed on the wall in front of her.

The wooden bookshelf gave way and slid away. Light flooded the dark corridor which she stood and after allowing her eyes to adapt to the light she stepped forwards into the room.

"About bloody time."

Hermione gritted her teeth before walking over to one of the tables in the common room where she saw the boys still dressed in their Quidditch robes. Her Master didn't look up at her, he never did unless he had to, but she knew those blue eyes well enough. They only looked at her with disgust and in the rarest of moments even pity, both of which sparked only anger within her

She placed the tray down in front of her Master before quickly moving back towards the shadows, praying that he wouldn't speak to her today.

"I'm dead tired," he said to his friends ruffling his ginger hair with one hand and picking up a glass of water with the other.

'You're tired?' she glared at him when he jangled the empty glass in the air.

She clenched her fists to stop herself from hitting him over the head with it but instead she reached over and filled up the glass with more water from the jug on the table.

"Don't you ever stop eating?"

Hermione shifted to the shadows when she heard the female voice behind her.

"Oh Gin," her brother smiled up at her.

Ginevra Weasley rolled her eyes at her brother.

"And what exactly have you mis-fits been up to tonight?" she questioned him her arms crossing over her chest.

"Us? Nothing," her brother replied innocently, "Ain't that right Harry?"

Hermione kept her head low but she saw the black shoes walk past her before the boy spoke.

"Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary," Harry replied slumping down into the seat beside his friend.

"You see we're as innocent as flobberworms," her Master replied.

"Just hurry up and eat so I can leave already," Hermione groaned internally, "I don't want to listen to your stupid jokes."

Hermione looked up when silence suddenly descended upon the room.

Everyone was looking at her.

A smile slowly spread over Ginevra Weasleys face before she and several of the other students began laughing.

Hermione stared at them horrified.

"D-did I just say that out loud?"

Harry chuckled at her.

"You sure did," he said before looking over at his friend, "Ron, you never told me she was so funny."

Her Master glowered at her his face turning red with anger.

"Why are you still standing their gaping at us? Get lost already!"

Hermione didn't need to be told twice. She instantly ran over to the bookshelf and pressed against it. It slid away and she ran into the dark corridor before running the rest of the way back down the stairs, but the sound of laughter continued to echo down the corridor.

Half way down the stairs she stopped and leaned against the wall trying to catch her breath.

The image of her Master's furious face burned in her memory.

She was going to get it now. He wasn't going to let this go.

"Why did I have to get shackled with that idiot," she groaned holding her head in her hands, "I can't believe I actually thought he was nice."

Her memory went back to the day they met on the train station but she quickly pushed that memory aside.

'That was before he knew that I was a mudblood.'

* * *

She awoke the sound of Anna coughing beside her.

"Are you alright?" she questioned her friend sleepily.

Anna nodded before sitting up.

"It was just really cold last night," her friend replied in a hoarse voice.

"I know," Lavender agreed sitting up from the floor, "I thought I was going to freeze to death."

"Really?" Hermione said in surprise, "I didn't notice the cold at all."

Her friends looked at her in surprise.

She saw the shadow across the corridor before she heard her Master groan.

"Would you idiots stop gossiping and get out the way so I can have a bath?"

Hermione and the other girls jumped up from the floor instantly.

The boys walked out the room and towards the boy's bathroom. She saw Lavender bow at Seamus as he walked past but he ignored her as always. At least Neville nodded slightly when Anna bowed at him. Hermione meanwhile glared at the back of the person she hated the most in the world.

"I hope you freeze from the water. Git," Hermione said through clenched teeth.

She felt lavender jab her in the ribs.

"Ow! What?"

Lavender simply stared over Hermione's shoulder.

She saw Harry Potter looking at her with an amused expression.

He didn't say anything but continued to smile as he followed his friends into the boy's bathroom.

"Great," Hermione groaned, "What are the chances of him telling my Master?"

Her friends didn't reply they just patted her back before they all turned and walked down stairs to begin their morning chores.

* * *

She watched Lavender dancing around the dorm room. The boys had gone to class and they were tidying up the room before they returned.

"Why so happy?" she questioned as she picked up the books that had fallen off her Master's desk.

"Isn't it obvious?" Lavender replied, "Its – the – last – day – before – Christmas – break!"

Lavender danced around the room as she spoke causing Hermione and Anna to burst into laughter. Lavender began swaying towards Anna.

"Come on, let's at least have some fun," she urged the girls.

Anna bit her lip before she too began dancing all the while cleaning the room.

"This feels like a scene out of Mary Poppins," Hermione laughed when Anna dragged her over to the centre of the room.

Lavender giggled.

"Sing us a song Hermione," she said sitting down on Seamus bed.

"Get off! Do you want them coming in and seeing you?" Hermione said when Anna joined Lavender.

"Come on," Lavender sighed before falling back onto the bed, "They're all in class right now, whose going to see us?"

"I don't know but you shouldn't, it's against the rules," even though she hated every word she was saying, she couldn't break her habit of following the rules especially those given by teachers.

Lavender sighed again but much more dramatically.

"Hermione I order you to rest for five seconds!" Lavender shouted in a deep voice while pointing at her.

Anna fell off the bed laughing.

"What was that?!"

"That was Ronald," Lavender replied as though it were completely obvious.

"Please, he does not sound like that," Hermione huffed, "And please refrain from calling my Master by his first name."

"Oh right, sorry," Lavender said sarcastically, "How about Weasley? Or ginger top?"

"Stop it!" Hermione spun around to look at her friend.

Both Lavender and Anna stared at her in shock.

"If you must call him something," she said crossing her arms, "You should call him – 'Git' or 'moron', either one will do, I'm not too picky."

Hermione's face broke into a smile as her friends laughed loudly.

"I thought you were going to go mental on us," Lavender said between breaths.

"You looked scary for a second there," Anna added giggling.

"Like I care what you call him," Hermione replied turning around to straighten the sheets, "But to me he will always be 'Master'. I can't think of him as a person, because no person would treat anyone the way he treats me, as though I don't even deserve to breathe the same air as him. I really wish he would just fall off his broom or better yet the astronomy tower so that I can leave this place."

Silence followed her rant and she wondered if she had gone too far. It was true that they both knew she hated him but they didn't know how deep her hatred for her Master went.

She turned around to see her friends staring at her wide eyed.

"Okay that may have been a bit over dramatic," she tried to laugh off but neither of them replied, instead they turned around to finish cleaning the room.

'What the hell? I wasn't that out of line.'

Hermione sighed.

'I gotta learn to stop talking so much.'

* * *

Hermione handed her Master his backpack as he and the other students lined up to board the train. He took the bag off her but continued to look at her.

She looked up at him curiously.

'What? What now?'

He stared at her with fierce eyes and a frown on his face.

'I knew it, he's not going to let me get away for making fun of him.'

Hermione sighed internally.

'Just do it, whatever you're planning, just get it over with.'

"Uh…see you."

With those words he turned and boarded the train.

She watched him leave without a word.

"Okay. That was weird."

'This can only mean he hasn't thought of a way to get back at me yet,' Hermione thought to herself as she collected her own belongings and began handing them to the train conductor for the muggleborn train, 'I'm not surprised, he's not the sharpest crayon in the box.'

"Alright servants over here."

Hermione looked over to the man who had called them. She knew who he was, only because her Master had spoken of him often, and not in a good way. But who was she to judge, anyone who that idiot thought was bad was probably the nicest person in the world.

"Come here so I can take your bracelets off," he ordered them.

Once they had walked over to him, they held their hands out. He waved his wand and the bracelets and anklets disappeared. He waved his wand again and Hermione watched in awe as the scars and bruises on her hands and wrists disappeared.

"That's all," the man said stepping away from them while holding a handkerchief over his crooked nose as though they physically repelled him.

'Okay maybe he is a jerk after all,' Hermione thought to herself before she and her friends boarded the train.

* * *

Hermione drank the juice before gritting her teeth.

She hated this part the most.

"How was your semester so far?" her dad asked her over his newspaper.

"Fine," she replied smiling broadly, "We're in fifth year so it's a bit hectic but I'm learning loads of new stuff."

"I'm sure you'll do fine, your grades have been great so far," her father said encouragingly.

Hermione simply smiled, neither of her parents knew that she had just shown them fake copies of her grades. She had managed to copy her Master's report card, and after momentarily marvelling at how horrible he was at his subjects she quickly changed the grades and placed her name on top before sending the copy to her parents.

"Oh I wish we could see you do some magic," Her mother sighed as she placed a plate of eggs and bacon in front of Hermione.

"You know I can't," Hermione said as she began eating, "Or I'd get in trouble."

That wasn't really true, the Ministry abolished that laws years earlier, but it was more convenient for her if her parents didn't know that.

"Oh Lance called again," her mother said as she sipped her tea, "He's wondering why you haven't called him or written to him yet."

"I've been busy mum, and besides why is he so keen on talking to me anyway?"

"Don't you remember?" her mother said in surprise.

"No," Hermione replied genuinely confused.

She thought she heard her dad chuckle but he didn't speak.

"He followed you around like a lost puppy," her mother explained, "He said that you saved him from some bullies when you were kids, but he never got to thank you. He really wants to thank you in person."

Hermione mused on this for a moment.

"What's he look like? I don't even remember."

"Oh he's quite a good looking boy now, tall with dark brown hair and brown eyes."

Her father really did laugh this time.

"If you like him so much why don't you date him dear?"

Hermione giggled at this, her mother did have a sparkle in her eyes when she spoke about him.

"Don't be ridiculous," she scolded her father, "I'm just saying, a nice boy comes and visits, and all he wants is to say thank you, and you can't spare him one minute?"

Hermione sighed before throwing her hands up in the air.

"Fine, I'll see him."

Her mother clapped her hands happily.

"Good, I've got his number right here," her mother opened her diary and pulled out a piece of paper.

Hermione raised an eyebrow at her mother.

"How long have you had this in there for?"

"Don't look at me like that," her mother replied, "I'm worried about you Hermione, you don't bring any friends over and I wonder if you're really doing okay at that school of yours."

"I'm fine," she said but she looked down at the phone number rather than look at her mother.

When she finally did look up she saw her mother watching her carefully.

"I promise to call him later," she said rolling her eyes.

Her mother simply smiled.

'If all he wants is to say thanks then I guess that won't be so bad,' Hermione thought to herself as she finished her breakfast.

Hermione watched her parents leave for work before she was finally able to relax. She hated lying to them, but it would be worse to tell them to truth and have them worry about her. She walked slowly into her father's library and fell back into the arm chair next to the fire place.

She closed her eyes and tried to relax.

The next moment the phone rang causing her to fall off the chair and land on the tiled floors. As she rubbed her backside she walked over to her dad's desk and picked up the phone.

"Hello, Granger residence."

"Hermione, its mum here, just wanted to let you know that we're working late tonight, have you had dinner yet?"

"Wha -?" Hermione said sleepily rubbing her eyes, "What time is it?"

Silence followed her statement.

"It's almost five Hermione, have you been asleep the whole day?"

"Yeah," she replied shocked as much as her mother was, "I guess I was more tired than I thought."

"Hmm, have you called Lance yet?"

Hermione wanted to tell her mother that she didn't give a damn about the stupid boy who her mother seemed in love with.

"No, not yet, look I'll make my own dinner, and I'll see you later."

"Alright, we'll see you later, love you darling."

"Love you too," she replied before hanging up the phone.

She leaned against the desk before walking out of the room and upstairs to have a shower before she made dinner.

An hour later as she was watching some strange television drama, she wasn't really watching it but she just didn't want to feel alone right now. She jumped when the phone rang, and she went to pick it up.

"Hello, Granger Residence."

Silence followed her statement.

"Hello?"

She heard something on the other side of the line but no one spoke.

"Jerk," she said as she placed the phone back on the receiver.

"Guess I'll go to bed," she said to herself.

* * *

"Hermione?"

She groaned and turned around to look at her mum.

"We're leaving for work now, breakfast is on the table," her mother said from beside her bed, "Remember to call Lance."

"A'right," she said as she yawned, "Have're good day."

Her mother sighed before she left Hermione's room.

She waited for her parents leave before she got up from bed.

"Another eventful day no doubt," she said to her reflection.

After having a shower she walked down the stairs to find pancakes on the table with a hot pot of tea. She couldn't help but smile as a warmth spread through her at the thought of her parents.

She sat down and began to reach for the pancakes when something caught her eye,

She groaned and placed the fork back down on the table.

Her mother had left her a note on her plate.

'_Call Lance after breakfast, and pick up some groceries.'_

"She doesn't let up does she, guess I get my stubborn streak from both my parents," she said as she placed the note down beside her.

After she had cleared the dishes she walked outside and sat down on the swing in the yard.

She watched the clouds for a while before she reached into her pocket and looked at the phone number on the piece of paper.

Thinking of her mother she stood up and walked back inside the house.

"Alright, lets see what's so great bout this Lance," she said as she began to dial the phone.

After a moment she heard the phone begin to ring.

'He's probably not home anyway,' she comforted herself.

The last thing she wanted was an awkward conversation with someone she barely knew.

'Okay, if he doesn't pick up in the next five seconds I am hanging up.'

'One.'

RING!

'Two.'

RING!

'Three. Too bad, sounded like a nice guy.'

RING!

'Four. Nice not knowing you.'

"Five."

"Hello?"

"Oh," Hermione said in shock pulling the phone back to her ear, "Hi, um this is Hermione – Granger, you told my mum….well you wanted me to call you."

Silence.

"Um…hello? Are you there?"

She was getting annoyed now.

"Who are you looking for?" the male voice asked.

"Oh," Hermione bit her lip, she was so shocked that someone had picked up that she didn't tell the person who she was looking for, "Um, Lance, I think…"

Silence.

"Just a moment," the man replied.

A few seconds later, though it felt much longer to her she heard the phone being picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Hermione."

"Hermione? It's so good to hear from you, thanks for calling back."

"Yeah, my mum said you wanted to talk?"

"Oh yeah, um, I'd rather do it in person, could we meet?"

"Uh," Hermione hesitated a moment.

That didn't sound good, she wasn't expecting to meet him, what if he was some crazy stalker, after all he had practically harassed her mother.

"I don't know," she said slowly.

"Just meet me at 'Le Morte Café' in an hour and I'll explain everything."

"But – "

The next moment she heard the phone being hung up.

"What the hell?!" Hermione said as she stared at the phone in her hand.

* * *

**AN: I'm glad everyone likes this fic :) I was debating whether to start from first year or just to skip ahead a few years. To be perfectly honest I'm too impatient to write out the whole story from first year, and besides you'd prefer me to get right to the good stuff right when they're all hormonal teenagers :) Please tell me what you think e.g. 'What the heck woman, why is my precious Ron a huge jerk? Die you evil writer!' or something along those lines.**

**Eckles: **Oh, I didn't even realise that Jane Austen connection, but considering I am an Austenite I'm not surprised that her stories have influenced my fics :) Thanks for commenting and I hope you enjoyed the first chapter.

**bookcrzygirl**: WOW! I look forward to surprising you ;)

**Jasmine-leigh**: Thanks, I sure will and I hope you've enjoyed the first chapter, though it was kinda lacking in R/Hr interaction

**lin13**: glad you liked the story so far

**wow60:** LOL I should really finish that chapter of 'Order of Gryffindor', I don't want my readers hunting me down with pitchforks :P

**HermioneGrangerTwin**: Nice to hear from you :) You're so sweet to always comment on my fics.

**ObsessedRHShipper**: Thanks :) I've decided to go with a different method for this story, it'll mainly be told from Hermione's POV, rather than switching between characters like I normally do. I hope to hear from you about which method you prefer, since you've read my other fics.


	3. I lick my wounds

**Chapter Two - I lick my wounds but I can't ever see them getting better**

Hermione turned down the street and continued through the crowds until she reached the small coffee shop wedged between two book stores. This was her favourite place to relax during her holidays, but today the very sight of it made her queasy.

She spun around and turned back up the street.

'Ridiculous. Who says I have to meet him?' she let out a puff air in frustration causing her curly tendrils to fly out of her face before falling back into her eyes.

'Stupid.'

As she pushed her hair out of her face and pushed her hands into her trench coat she wasn't sure what she was talking about.

'What kind of person just announces that you will meet him as though it were a fact.'

She cringed and berated herself.

'And what kind of person actually listens to that command?'

She sighed and stopped in the crowded street.

'After years of being ordered around I guess I've become used to just doing as I'm told, no questions asked.'

"How pathetic," she whispered to herself.

She felt someone knock into her shoulder and she was able to quickly regain her footing so as to not fall face first into the pavement.

'Okay, here's the deal,' she made a compromise with herself, 'If I go there and he's a jerk, I have every right to tell him off.'

She nodded her head in determination before walking a back towards the store, she pushed the hair out of her face as the wind blew against her face.

'Or he could just not show – then I'll look like…'

She trailed off as she stared into the store.

'Well…'

Her eyes scanned the Le Morte Café until her eyes locked on a boy in the corner of the store.

'How long has he been sitting there?' she wondered taking a step closer to the store.

There in the corner of the store, book in hand was the most ordinary person she had ever set eyes on. Nothing about him screamed 'stalker-killer', and in fact if his face said anything it was 'nice to meet you'.

The brown haired boy's pale coloured eyes zoomed across the page but every now and then his eyes would snap up when he heard the bell of the door open or close. A flash of disappointment would cross his face before he returned to his book.

'He looks harmless enough,' Hermione told herself taking another step forward.

'Yeah it's the harmless ones you have to look out for,' she debated with herself for a moment before gathering her courage and opening the door.

His eyes instantly met hers.

She could almost feel her mouth drop the floor.

She hadn't been able to see him clearly from outside, where the frost on the glass had left out a few minor details about the person now smiling at her.

She swallowed, to make sure her mouth was still attached and to make sure she didn't just drool all over the floor, it wouldn't do to have other customers tripping in front of her.

'Get a hold of yourself,' her rational voice said, 'He's not that good looking.'

As she walked forwards she saw that he was tall, he almost looked comical sitting in the coffee shop chair, but rather than laugh she saw several of the customers staring, shamelessly staring, at the brown haired stranger with pale eyes and pearly white smile.

'Hormones! Yep, hormones, this is the first guy you've seen outside Hogwarts, its natural for you to…did that girl just wink at him?'

She walked past the girls in the table beside her and stepped up to him. She cleared her throat and tried her best to look indifferent and stern.

'Remember the game plan.'

"Lance?"

"Hermione?" he replied his voice cautious yet hopeful.

'Hang on, I should be the one cautious, not you. Snap out of it.'

She must have responded because the next moment he had stood up and pulled out the chair for her. And before she knew it she was sitting across from him and he was smiling at her.

"Uh sorry did you say something?" she said shaking her head to clear it.

'Concentrate, don't…okay just don't drool on him.'

"Yeah, just wanted to apologise for suddenly asking you out like this."

"Oh well," she paused and looked away awkwardly, "That's okay."

'No its not, what about telling him off?!'

'Shut up he's talking again.'

"Did you want something to drink, the least I could do is treat you to some tea," he waved over a waiter before looking at her expectantly.

She nodded her head before looking at the menu.

"I'll have the…um mint and ginger tea with honey," she handed the waiter the menu and wondered why he didn't move away to get her drink.

The waiter looked at her strangely before handing the menu back to Lance. Hermione felt her face heat up when she realised that he didn't have any drinks in front of him, he must have waited for her to arrive before ordering.

"I'll have the same," Lance replied refusing the menu the waiter offered.

The waiter nodded before shuffling off to get their drinks.

An awkward silence followed, or at least she thought it was, but Lance seemed content to sit in silence.

"So…" she said slowly trying her best not to fidget.

"You must be wondering why I was so persistent in seeing you," Lance said.

"A little," she said biting back the sarcastic comeback she felt on the tip of her tongue.

"I actually have to return something to you," he reached into his jacket just as the cell phone on the table began to ring.

He continued to reach for whatever was in his pocket and Hermione just stared at the phone.

"Um," she said in embarrassment as the other customers began to glare at her, "You wanna get that?"

He turned back to look at her.

"Sorry?"

"Your phone," she said nodding towards it, "You gonna pick it up."

"Oh," he said before looking at it, "Excuse me a moment."

He then stood up and walked outside to answer the phone.

"Here's your tea," the waiter said placing the cup down in front of her.

She thanked him and placed her cold hands around the cup to warm herself up.

"I'm glad you came," the waiter said as he placed Lance's tea down on the table, "He's been here for a while just standing at the door, he practically pounced on every person who walked in the door. I was finally able to convince to take this seat, after telling him he would have a perfect view of the door."

The waiter rolled his eyes as though he had seen this several times before.

"Ex boyfriend huh?"

Before she could respond with a 'of course not and what business is it of yours,' the waiter shuffled off once more.

She slumped over in her seat and sipped her tea. She looked out the window and saw Lance talking on his phone. He saw her staring and he gave her a brief wave before he continued talking.

"Okay if he's longer than two minutes, I'm leaving," she grumbled.

'But then again at least he excused himself first. But he's still leaving me here alone, while everyone and his dog is staring at me.'

She looked up from her cup when she heard someone sit down in front of her.

"Is anything wrong?" she said looking up at him.

Her face quickly hardened.

"Can I help you?" she said as the stranger sat down, a few of his friends grabbing seats and dragging them over to.

"No," the boy said smirking at his friends, "Just didn't think a pretty lady like you should be sitting all on her lonesome."

She rolled her eyes.

"Can I help you?"

Hermione turned around when she heard her own words repeated. Lance stood behind her seat staring down at the boys.

The boys scoffed before they too stood up and stepped forwards.

"Exit's that way," Lance said pointing at the door.

Gone was the kind smile he had shown her. Instead his face was cold and impassive as he stepped forward and as the boys looked up at him they realised how tall he was.

"Like we'd be interested in her anyway, we were just playing round," the boy said before he led his friends out of the store.

Lance watched them leave with frown on his face, before he took his seat.

"Sorry about leaving you like that," he said looking at her in concern.

"That's okay, trust me I've been treated worse than that."

This caused Lance to look at her curiously, but instead of asking he took a sip of the tea. A look of surprise came over his face before he took another sip.

"This is pretty good," he said grinning at her.

She laughed at the goofy expression on his face.

"Yeah, it's my favourite drink, ginger and mint help ease tension and the honey as well as being sweet is actually good for you, health-wise I mean."

She saw Lance looking at her in silence.

'Crap, there goes my mouth again.'

"How do you know that?" he asked taking another sip.

"Something I read somewhere," she said dismissively.

"Well that's really interesting," he replied.

Her eyes widened in surprise.

"What?" he asked and she quickly tried to rearrange her face.

"That's the first time someone's ever…"

'That someone's hasn't made me curse my oral disorder.'

Instead of continuing her sentence she began to stare at her cup. It was then that she noticed the book on the table.

"Oh what's this?" she leaned over to read the title, "Arthurian legends?"

She looked up at him before speaking once more.

"You're interested in medieval history?"

"Oh," he rubbed his neck as though embarrassed before shoving the book into his jacket, "Just something my mum got me for Christmas. She's insane," he continued rolling his eyes, "She expects me to memorise it and she's going to quiz me tomorrow."

Hermione burst out laughing.

"Are you serious? That sounds – "

"Yeah I know," Lance nodded.

"Horrible." "Fantastic."

He cocked his head to one side as he looked at her.

"Fantastic?" he said before chuckling.

"Well I'd love to study things like that at school," she said wistfully, "But…"

Hermione took another sip of her tea.

"Things are difficult at school."

She looked up and saw Lance watching her, no judgment on his face. She swallowed her tea before continuing.

"There's this guy…he likes to order me around, he's such a jerk," she gritted her teeth as her thoughts returned to her Master.

"He's bullying you?" Lance said a hint of anger in his voice.

"No, well…" she trailed off not really sure how to explain her situation to him, "It's complicated."

Lance simply smiled.

"Waiter," he called over the man who served them previously, "we're going to need more tea."

"And cake," Hermione added.

"And cake," Lance agreed.

When the waiter left Lance turned back to her.

"So, you were saying?"

* * *

After a few hours of talking Hermione felt a tremendous weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Of course, Lance didn't know that she was actually forced into servitude at her magical school, because lets face it who would believe her? Instead she made him believe that she was attending a boarding school where there were certain cliques and bullying was pretty much ignored by teachers.

He had spent most of the time listening to her but every now and then would ask her questions like 'how long has this been going on' or 'what does this person look like'. She briefly wondered if he were going to try and track down those people and do merlins knows what with them, but he laughed at her suggestion and said that he just wanted to know more about her life.

"We should leave soon," he said as he looked at his watch, "I think the store closes in ten minutes time."

Hermione looked around the café in alarm, and sure enough it was now completely empty. She was shocked to see how dark it had become outside and she bit back a curse before hurriedly getting up from her seat.

"I better get home before my mum sends out a search party."

"Oh no need to worry about your mum," Lance said as he helped her into her coat, "She was the one who called earlier, she wanted to make sure that you were actually meeting me."

Hermione rolled her eyes at this as she buttoned up her coat.

"Yeah I'd be careful," she warned him as he paid the waiter at the front counter, "I think she's already choosing the China for our wedding."

He laughed at this as they walked out into the evening air.

"She's just concerned about you," he said as they shuffled through the dwindling crowds, "She's been asking me for weeks to take you out."

Hermione felt a blush creep up her neck.

"Why would she do that?" she said in embarrassment, "I'm so sorry she bothered you."

"Don't be sorry," Lance said quickly, "I was glad to see you. I think she just wanted you to have someone to talk to, she said something about how you've been very evasive about your life lately."

Hermione sighed.

"Please don't tell them about what's happening," she pleaded looking up at him.

"Don't worry," he reassured her, "You can trust me, I'm not a spy sent by your parents to gather intel on you."

She laughed at his choice of words.

"You actually sound like a spy for a second there."

He chuckled.

"Well my dad's in the army," he explained, "but I don't think that's where I get the lingo from, I watch a lot of action movies."

"Oh," she said thoughtfully as a tremor of guilt spread through her.

She realised then that they had spent the whole time talking about her life, and that she really didn't know anything about Lance at all, apart from the fact that his mother home schooled him and was apparently an avid history buff.

"This your bus?" he questioned as they stood at the bus stop.

She turned and watched the bus pull up.

"No, I'm waiting for a different bus," she checked her pockets and felt the wand inside.

She remembered how distressed she had been when almost all her possessions were taken away from her. It was only the first week at Hogwarts that Parvati come running up to her with a carefully wrapped box in her hands.

_"It's yours isn't it?" Parvati questioned still out of breath._

_"Yes," Hermione said in disbelief, "How did you…"_

_Parvati smiled at her._

_"I go in my Master's dorm room while they are in class."_

_"Harry Potter had my wand?" she said in surprise._

_"No, I found yours in Ronald Weasley's desk," Parvati made a strange face, "It was actually underneath a hidden compartment in the bottom drawer."_

_Hermione's eyes widened._

_"My Master took my wand?" she said as anger coursed through her._

_'Wasn't it enough that he made me clean his room and get his meals for him? He had actually stolen my things as well?'_

"Uh Oh," she heard Lance say and she saw him look at her with concern, "I recongise that look. What's bothering you?"

"Nothing," she shook her head dismissivly, "I'm still horrified that my mother had to order someone to escort me outside the house."

Lance laughed.

"Now whose talking strangely," he replied, "speaking of escorting you, are you busy tomorrow? I think there's a new movie out that supposed to be good."

Hermione considered this for a moment, she couldn't even remember how long its been since she'd seen a movie.

"Sounds good," she said, "But I'll have to ask my…well I'll just ask my dad, since he hasn't sold me off to you yet."

Lance frowned at her.

"You're not an item of clothing to just buy and sell," he said earnestly, "Just because those dic- uh…dorks at your school say that you are worthless doesn't make it true."

Hermione smirked at his attempt not to swear in front of her.

'How curious, perhaps he's not the perfect guy he's been trying to be all day. I wonder what he's really like?'

"Okay Henry," she giggled, "I shall persevere against those 'dorks'."

"Henry?" he questioned a confused look on his face.

"Nevermind," she said dismissively, "he's a character from my favourite book."

"Hmm," he said thoughtfully, "your bus is awfully late."

'Oh I forgot about that.'

"Why don't you go ahead, it'll be along shortly."

"Are you kidding? At this time of night?" he stared at her in alarm.

"I'll be fine," she reached into her pocket and showed him her phone, "I'll give you a call when I'm on the bus."

He looked conflicted but finally accepted after she physically began to push him back towards the shops.

"Be careful," he said waving goodbye as he walked down the street.

She sighed in relief before pulling out her wand and pointing it outwards. The Knightbus came blasting around the corner of the street before stopping in front of her.

She took her ticket and seat quickly before the bus bolted forwards. She pulled out her phone and gave Lance a quick call just as she promised.

He sounded relieved and admitted that he was just about to turn around and go back to her. Hermione laughed, hoping that her nervousness wasn't obvious over the phone.

"I'm a big girl," she said, "I can take care of myself."

"I know," he said, "But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't rely on those around you. There are a lot of people who care about you Hermione, don't ever forget that."

She thought that that was a strange thing to hear from someone she had just met but she smiled and thanked him anyway before they both hung up the phone.

She endured her mother's smug look as she was served reheated leftovers for dinner. But at least her mother resisted asking questions about what she and Lance did all day. Not that it was that eventful but she just didn't want her mother to think that she would trust someone she had only just met with her secrets rather than her own mother.

She prepared for bed that night feeling excited and energised for the next day, rather than her usual dread and exhaustion.

Of course she had considered Lavender and Anna her friends but this was different. She couldn't understand and maybe it had to do with the fact that she had known Lance from before she went to Hogwarts, that he remembered her as she was before, but she trusted him and she liked talking to him. He was funny and seemed to know exactly when to lighten the mood or just to listen to her in silence. Even after he heard about all the rubbish she had endured these past few years he didn't look at her with pity, rather he seemed to be expecting something from her.

What exactly she wasn't sure but she felt as though he knew she wouldn't just roll over and admit defeat to those who bullied her. It was strangely comforting to have someone believe in you to such an extent, while at the same time wanting to protect you.

She recalled their conversation earlier that day.

He was so adamant that he would make it up to her for what she did for him in first grade. She didn't want to tell him that she didn't remember the event but from the way he told the story she had swooped in just in time just as he was being attacked by some fifth graders. How or what she did to protect him she wasn't too sure about and he seemed to gloss over the details but he said he never looked at her the same again.

He looked away in embarrasement as he admitted that when his family moved away he still remembered her and promised himself that he would thank her properly the next time they met.

She really didn't know how to respond to that but simply squeezed his hand and said that she was glad she helped him out when she did and that he was definately worth saving.

He had looked at her strangely when she had said that but the next moment they had started talking about her school life and it was only as she brushed her teeth that night that she realised that she should have asked him more about his life.

'I'll ask him when I see him tomorrow,' she thought to herself.

The last thing she wanted was for her first real friend to think she was completely self involved.

As she snuggled into her bed that night she mumbled sleepily to herself.

"It's nice to have friends."

* * *

She met Lance the following morning at the local theatre.

He was again reading the book his mother gave him. He explained that his mother had given him a reprieve and he had until the end of the week before she would test him.

Hermione couldn't help but laugh at the look of joy and yet annoyance on his face.

They headed inside and he read through the list of movies to her.

"Vampires?" she said incredously, "No thanks."

"They're romantic vampires," he smirked at her, "Don't girls like romantic stuff?"

"No – thanks," she said again, "Not all girls are the same."

He looked back at the sheet of paper where the movies were listed without saying anything in response.

"Okay, this one then," he pointed at a movie on the list, "It's not Northanger Abbey but its still set in Victorian times."

Hermione stared up at him in shock.

"Oh yeah," he replied smugly when he saw the look on her face, "I raided my mum's library when I got home yesterday and finally with her assistance was able to find the famous Henry Tilney that you referred to yesterday."

"I'm impressed," she said honestly.

"So am I, it's quite forward of a girl to call a guy the equivalent of prince charming," he replied.

Hermione blushed at his words.

"That's not what – that's not even – the book isn't…"

She saw the piece of paper that he held in front of his face shaking and she grabbed the paper away just as he burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"Wow, Hermione that's a real temper you have on you," he continued to laugh when she scrunched up the paper and threw it forcefully at him before folding her arms across her chest.

"It was a joke," he said holding his hands up in mock surrender although he still had a smile on his face.

She tried to look annoyed but she felt the corners of her mouth twitch before she laughed as well.

"Okay lets go Henry," she said looking over to the ticket counter.

"After you Catherine," he said holding his arm.

"You really did read it," she said linking her arm in his.

"Bits and pieces, though I was cramming for my exam with my mother as well."

Hermione giggled when he made another face at the mention of his mother.

"Try this," she handed him a chip before grabbing one from the plate of fish and chips that they had bought after the movie.

"I can't believe you've never eaten fish and chips," she said incredously.

"Well my dad moves around a lot so I haven't really spent much time here in England," he replied grabbing another chip from the plate, "These are really good."

"Told you they were."

"You really enjoy being right, don't you?"

"No," she said before pausing to think about this for a moment, "When you're right, you're right, and I don't think people should get their wands in a twist when they are wrong."

Lance looked as though he had chocked on his food because the next moment he began coughing.

"You alright?"

He nodded his head but continued coughing.

"Did you just say 'wands in a twist'?" he said after taking a sip of his drink.

"Did I?"

'Crap, stupid mouth.'

"It's just a…a saying that the kids at my school have, it must have stuck."

She wondered if he would think she was strange or maybe he would realise she was a witch, but instead he shook his head in disbelief.

"Wow, those kids sure are weird."

"Sure are."

'You have no idea.'

After that their conversation returned to other topics and she thought he had forgotten about her outburst. But as he walked her back to the bus stop he was oddly quiet.

"You okay?" she asked as they sat watching the sky change from a pink hue to orange as the sun set.

"I have to ask," he said slowly before turning to her, "Why not just change schools?"

'Okay was not expecting that.'

"That's not possible," she said turning her attention back to the setting sun, "The people in my school – they have some very powerful friends."

Silence followed her statement.

"Is someone threatening you or your parents?" Lance questioned in concern.

"Not exactly," she shrugged.

She quickly changed the topic and Lance had the good manners not to bring it up again.

He waited with her for half an hour before she convinced him to go home first.

She watched him leave before her thoughts returned to the first time she met Draco Malfoy.

_She had been running down the stairs that lead out into the courtyard when she had tripped. She collided with a blonde haired boy and he had ended up dropping his bag as he fell. She watched in horror as all his books flew out of his bag before they fell onto the muddy and wet grounds._

_He glared up at her._

_"S-sorry," she said reaching forward to help him up._

_He swatted her hand away before standing up on his own._

_"What are you going to do about my books mudblood?" he said before he spat in her face._

_Hermione wiped the spit from her face before her hands clenched into fists._

_"I didn't do it on purpose," she retorted doing her best to control her anger, "and its not like you're seriously hurt."_

_"Not seriously hurt?" he spat back, "the fact that a mudblood like you even touched me makes me want to vomit. And look at the state of my clothes and books? How are you going to make up for it mudblood?"_

_He reached down and grabbed her by the hair._

_She cried out in pain despite herself._

_"Oi!"_

_Malfoy released her and she fell back to the ground._

_"I thought I told you to get my herbology book?"_

_Hermione looked behind her. Her master stood on top of the stairs his arms folded and his expression furious._

_"Weasley," Draco said almost in the same tone as he had called her._

_"Malfoy," her Master replied, "if I didn't know better I would think you were trying to take my servant away from me."_

_Malfoy laughed._

_"Who'd want a mudblood? Even as a slave?"_

_"Well I just thought since you Slytherins are the only house without servants that –"_

_"Well that just show's how stupid you are Weasley," Draco took a step forwards, "We Slytherin's only accept the best, no mudblood whore would ever get sorted into our house. Not like Gryffindor, where anyone and everything is accepted."_

_She saw her Master clench his fists in anger and as Draco stepped up to stand eye to eye to him, she could see his eyes narrow and face turn a furious red._

_"Say – that – one – more – time," he said to Malfoy through clenched teeth._

_"I'm not your slave Weasley," Draco turned and walked back inside the school, "You can't order me to do anything, don't ever forget who my Dad is."_

_"Wouldn't dream of it," her Master had said in response._

_Hermione released a sigh of relief but jumped in shock when her Master called her._

_"Would you hurry up and get my Herbology textbook already," he said before he too turned and walked back into school._

_She glared after him before standing up and walking this time to the Herbology greenhouse._

_"It's not like its my fault you forgot the book in the classroom," she grumbled._

She had avoided Malfoy like the plague since, but she still saw him now and then and each time he had spat in her face.

'I'm surprised he has enough saliva to go around,' she thought to herself.

Because it wasn't only her but he apparently spat or cursed any servant who got in his way.

'Guess you'd have a big head too if you're dad were Minister of Magic.'

She reached into her pocket and took out her wand.

As the Knight bus speed through the streets her thoughts returned to the Minister of Magic.

Was it really okay that his actions went unquestioned? Why hasn't anyone tried to get rid of him?

She considered this for a moment.

'If I ever met him I'd probably punch him,' she smiled as the mental image looped in her mind.

* * *

"Hello?"

She looked up from her breakfast the next day when her mother answered the telephone.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," her mother said glancing at Hermione before turning away again, "yes she's here, would you like to talk to her?"

Hermione bit into her apple as her mother handed her the cordless phone.

"It's Lance," her mother explained.

Hermione placed the phone to her ear, incredibly conscious that her parents were sitting next to her.

"Hey," she greeted him, "everything okay?"

"Horrible news," Lance groaned and she could hear the sound of people shouting in the background.

"What's wrong?" she asked genuinely concerned now, getting up from her seat and walking over to the window.

"My dad just got a new posting, we're leaving at the end of the week."

Hermione felt her stomach drop.

"End of the week?" she whispered back, "But..."

She trailed off not sure how to react. Over the last few days Lance had become almost like a lifeline for her, he was the only person she could truly be herself with.

"So is this goodbye?" she said after composing herself.

Silence.

"Lance?"

"Actually, I was kinda hoping we could hang out today," he seemed embarassed to be asking and he added quickly, "If you're not busy that is."

She felt a flutter of happiness spread through her.

"Yeah I'd love to, hang out that is," she smiled as she heard him release a sigh of relief.

"Where did you wanna meet?" he asked her.

"Actually, did you want to come over? We could watch a movie or I could give you that CD I was telling you about the other day. My parents are home today, I'm sure they'd love to see you," she turned around to see if this would be okay with her parents.

Her dad frowned and opened his mouth as though to refuse but she heard her mother kick him under the table and as he leaned over to rub his leg she nodded her head vigourously at her.

Hermione bit back a laugh and waited for Lance to respond.

"That sounds great," she heard him say though he seemed distracted, "Sorry could you hang on while I ask my parents?

"Okay," she said and heard him place the phone down.

She was about to turn around to ask her parents what food they could serve Lance when she heard someone talking on the other side of the phone.

"I don't know,' she heard a female voice say, Lance's mother she presumed, "Is it safe?"

"I'll be fine mum, I have to say goodbye to her at least."

She knew it was bad to eavesdrop but it wasn't exactly like she was doing it on purpose.

"Let the boy go," he heard a gruff male voice say, "Let the kid have some fun before he starts school. He's earned it after all the hard work this past year."

"Oh alright," the woman finally agreed and the next moment she heard the phone being picked up.

"When would be a good time to come over?" Lance asked her.

"Give me an hour to get ready," she replied.

After giving him her address she hung up the phone to find her father looking sourly at his eggs and her mother beaming up at her.

"This is okay with you right?" she asked as she took her seat at the breakfast table.

"Granger women always have a mind of their own," her father mumbled as he picked up his newspaper, "Who am I to interfere."

"Mum kicked you pretty hard huh dad?" she said sympathetically taking a bite out of her toast.

"She could join the local footbal team if she wanted," he replied causing Hermione to laugh and her mother to scowl.

By the time Lance arrived her parents were standing at the front door. The greeted him quickly before her mother dragged her father out for a day of shopping. He glared at Lance as though to instill as much fear in him as it was possible, but it was difficult to look menancing when your wife was ordering you out the door.

When they left Lance laughed nervously.

"So your dad hates me."

"He's just being a typical dad," she said in exasperation, "Always overprotective of his little girl."

"Sounds nice," he said as he looked around her house, "My dad's not really around much, so I'm closer to my mum. Wow Hermione this place is huge."

Hermione shrugged her before leading him into the lounge room.

"Hungry?" she asked as she flicked on the television.

"Nah, I've already eaten," he said as he reached over and looked through her collection of movies that she has placed on the table.

"Very wide selection you have here," he said in surprise, "I'd thought I'd see a collection of Colin Firth movies, but you've got action movies as well."

"Ha ha," she said sarcastically, "I tell you I like Jane Austen and all of a sudden I'm a Colin Firth fanatic."

"My mum loves him," he replied, "I think I heard her try to convince my dad to jump into the pool once with his clothes still on."

Hermione bit back a laugh at the disgusted look on his face.

"I didn't sleep for days after," he shivered.

She really did laugh this time earning her a scowl from Lance.

"That is classic," she said wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Yeah, thats what my mum said," but this time he smiled at her.

After settling down with a bowl of popcorn and the latest action movie playing on the screen she felt Lance's eyes on her. She ignored it at first but it really started to unnerve her.

"What's wrong?" she said unable to watch another object explode into a ball of flames, "You seem like you wanna say something to me."

"I admit there's a reason I wanted to see you once more before I left," he said reachng into his backpack, "I did some research and I was able to get some brochures for you."

Hermione took the large envelop he handed her and reached inside to have a look at what he was talking about.

"They all come highly recommended, at least that's why my dad said."

When she didn't reply he quickly added.

"Don't worry all I told him was that you're parents were looking in to schools closer to home, I didn't tell him about...you know."

Hermione flipped through the booklet in her hand, unable to respond.

"I really think you should consider changing schools," he said after silence elapsed between them.

She placed the envelop on the coffee table and turned to look at him as he continued.

"And my dad, he may not be a top ranking official but he has friends in high places. If you or your family is being threatened, then he'll be able to take care of you. Make sure your family is safe."

Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking at him once more.

"I don't know what to say," she said honeslty.

"I'm sorry," he apologised, "I know it's incredibly rude for me to just tell you what to do, but I would hate to think that you were suffering after I'm gone."

She reached over and squeezed his hand so that he would look at her rather than at the floor.

"Thank you," she said holding back tears, "Thank you for worrying about me, for doing all of this."

She waved her hand towards the envelop on the table but in reality she was talking about everything he had done since they had meet. She realised why it was that she liked spending so much time with him.

He knew here before she was a slave, and for the longest time she had thought that that girl who had boarded the train filled with hope of a new beginning had long since shrivelled away but what she realised now was that girl was very alive.

Being around Lance made her realise that she wasn't the girl who just accepted her fate, that in reality the very fact that she had stayed in what appeared to be a hopeless situation proved that she had more courage than even she thought possible. She was bidding her time, gathering evidence, and preparing herself for the time when she would be able to strike.

When she asked herself questions like 'Why isn't anyone doing anything to free us,' what she was really asking was 'I've got to free us.'

She felt Lance's large hands cover hers causing her to look up at him. He was looking at her in concern.

"Thank you," she said before she leaned over and hugged him, "Thank you for caring, for listening to me whinge and moan."

She pulled away from him and saw him open his mouth to speak but she continued.

"I think you knew didn't you? but you were too polite to say."

He looked at her in confusion.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't you?" she said unconvinced by his blank expression, "I always wondered why you would look at me strangely whenever I complained about school, I thought you were just concerned about my safety," she reached over and grabbed the envelop on the table before handing it back to him, "What you were really doing was holding yourself back. So go ahead, this is your last chance, go ahead and say what you really want to."

Lance took the envelop back before chuckling.

"Too smart for your own good," he replied.

He moved over to switch off the television before turning to look at her carefully.

"Okay then, I'm not going to hold back," he said carefully watching her reaction.

"I'm counting on it."

* * *

**AN: Seriously? Everyone please take a deep breath. Here are some things you need to remember:**

One: I love Ron, and not just 'Oh he's sweet' but 'he's my fictional boyfriend' kinda love.

Two: Ron and Hermione are meant to be, always have, always will be and I will hiss at anyone who dares to say differently.

Three: I am doing this to improve my writing, and wouldn't you all get bored if I wrote the same stories over and over?

Four: Yeah okay, not everyone will like my stories, and I've made peace with that after the first vicious review I received when I posted my first fic.

Five: For those of you demanding explainations, remember that this is still the beginning of the story, I'm not exactly going to quickly write this fic or show you my master plot outline, because that would be just be boring for both of us.

Six: This story will mostly be written from Hermione's point of view, so what she see, what she knows and how she comes to learn certain things, you will have to learn them with her, no matter how frustrating you may find that.

Seven: Finally, thanks for reading and if anything I'm glad that some of you are so passionate that you've written very long reviews. Please continue to comment and ask me questions as it will help me factor in the particular things that you may want me to explain in more detail, but be forewarned, unlike my previous fics, I have a very clear plan of what I write and when i write it and although I will answer most of your questions it will be done when it fits into the story, Hermione is not just going to stop and have a chapter long monologue explaining everything that has happened since first year.

Okay if you still want me to continue then please comment, if not then I guess I'll get back to my other fics, or focus on the mythical place called 'real life'.

* * *


	4. Something's gotta change

**Chapter Three - Something's Gotta Change**

'_Dear Lance,_

_Thanks for the book, it was really interesting and has been a nice way to distract myself from everything that's been going on. School has started again, but something strange is going on...'_

Hermione saw a hand move in front of her face and she blinked.

She looked to her side to find Lavender smiling at her.

"You looked like you were in your own world," Lavender said with a sly smile, "So, how did your date with Lance go?"

Hermione groaned. She regretted telling Lavender that she had spent her Christmas break hanging out with a childhood friend.

"Honestly, it was not a date," she protested.

And she was being perfectly honest. Dating was the last thing on her mind at the moment but it's not like she was going tell Lavender that, not yet at least. She had the sneaking suspicion that if she told anyone other than Lance about what she intended to do then they would call her crazy.

"Where's Anna?" Hermione wondered when she realised that they were the only two Gryffindor servants on the train platform.

Lavender gave her a funny look.

"You mean you don't know?" Lavender said in surprise, when Hermione shook her head Lavender explained, "She's been really sick the past week, she's hasn't stepped foot outside her room. I went to visit her but her mother said that she had a fever and that it wasn't a good idea to see her in case what she had was contagious."

Hermione eyes widened.

She felt guilt bit into her. She hadn't even talked to Anna at all over the last week.

"I hope its not too serious," she said as she looked down at the ground trying to think of something she could do to help her sick friend.

"Oh great," Lavender said sarcastically, "I'll see you later."

Hermione looked up to see Lavender walk over to Seamus Finnigin. As always he avoided looking at Lavender in the eye even when Lavender took his things to place them in the storage cabin of the train.

Hermione felt a sharp pain cut through her leg.

She cried out in pain and turned to see a guy standing behind her.

"Opps," he said, though by his tone she could tell he wasn't really sorry for practically running over her with his heavy luggage cart.

She looked at his face carefully and recognised him as a ravenclaw. He was on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, she remembered because he was one of the best players and apparently the bane of her Master's existence. This alone was enough to make Hermione forgive him for almost breaking her leg.

'Ouch,' Hermione reached down and rubbed her leg and felt pain shoot up her leg, 'Okay almost forgive him.'

"Can you carry this onto the train for me?" he asked her.

He didn't wait for a response but began placing his bags in her arms.

"H-hey!" she said when he started to walk away, one of the bags dropped onto the floor causing him to turn to look at her.

But rather than come and pick up the bag he stood staring at her carefully, almost as though he were carefully examining an exhibit at the museum. She saw him furrow his brow before his face broke into a smile.

"Sorry, here," he reached over and picked up the bag.

She would have thanked him if he didn't place the bag on top of the pile on her hands. She was just about to shove the pile of bags back into his face when she felt herself becoming unbalanced - no, he had pushed her.

She toppled over and the bags landed painfully on top of her.

Hermione was furious. It was one thing to be subjected to humiliation by her Master but she wouldn't stand for other people ordering her around.

She quickly dismissed the little voice in her head that said that she wasn't making sense. Instead she stood up and glared at the boy angrily.

He was smirking down at her as though he had just won a prize but he looked behind her and the colour drained from his face.

"Nevermind," he said quickly waving his wand and walking away with his bags floating behind him.

Hermione stood there like an idiot her mouth agape.

"What the hell?" she said to herself.

Lavender ran over to her.

"Hermione are you okay?" her friend asked.

"Yeah," she said annoyed at herself more than anyone else.

Here she was, supposed to be starting a mutiny and she let creeps like that treat her like a toy.

"Your leg," Lavender said bringing her back to reality.

Hermione stared down at her leg and felt a warm sensation along her leg, and something sticky was seeping through her jeans.

"Great," she mumbled, "I'll go get the medical kit from my bag."

"I'll come with you," Lavender said instantly.

"No, you should get on the train, and if my Master shows up could you - "

"You got it," Lavender cut her off, "I'll tell him what that guy did to you."

"No, that's not - "

Before Hermione could say anything in response Lavender ran down the train platform.

"Why the hell would he care anyway?" she grumbled before she began limping towards the storage cabin, hoping that she wouldn't run into the same Ravenclaw who had hit her.

Her progress along the platform was slow and it didn't help that all the students were beginning to board the train. She was finally able to make it to the end of the platform and was about to step onto the train to get her bag when she heard a voice in the shadows.

No, not voice - voices. And one of the voices belonged to her Master.

Hermione limped over to the shadows where her Master was arguing with another person.

She froze.

Her Master had someone pinned up against one of the platform columns.

She couldn't see his face but she could hear the anger in his voice.

"What did I tell you?!" Her Master shoved the other person roughly back while still holding them by the collar of their shirt.

It was then she noticed the blue tie of the Ravenclaw House.

The boy who had hit her earlier was now staring at her Master, and he was clearly afraid.

"L-look I-I..."

"I told you not to -"

"I know...b-but we told you it wouldn't work."

She heard her Master make an angry sound that almost sounded like a growl.

"You stupid Ravenclaws," he spat back at the boy, "You always think you're smarter than the rest of us."

"Well I was right," the boy said some of his confidence returning though he still looked afraid that her Master would begin hitting him, "That glamour doesn't work. Look how easy it was for me to hurt her."

"Do you honestly think that is the only protection she has?" her Master replied.

"Like you Gryffindors can do anything other than - "

The Ravenclaw didn't have a chance to say anymore because her Master shoved him back against the column once more before moving dangerously close.

Hermione felt her heart race.

'This couldn't be...'

"Stay - Away - From - Her!" Her Master said through clenched teeth.

Hermione saw his arm begin to raise into the air as though he were going to hit the boy. She saw the Ravenclaw flinch back.

"Ron NO!"

Hermione jumped in shock when someone ran past her.

It was Harry Potter, her Masters best friend. Another person ran past after him, Ginerva Weasley looked at Hermione as she passed but she continued over to her brother rather than tell her off. Not that she would, Ginerva Weasley, unlike her brother didn't talk to her at all. Whereas her Master would intentionally say things to aggravate her, almost as though he enjoyed seeing her angry.

"Not here," she heard Harry Potter say.

She saw her Master release the Ravenclaw and he instantly disappeared down the train platform.

"What were you thinking," Harry continued, "You could have drawn attention to _him_."

Her master swung around visibly angry.

"Not everything is about you, Harry," her Master said before storming off.

Hermione would have jumped behind a column to hide but her injured leg prevented her.

Her Master stopped when he saw her.

She could see Ginerva Weasley shaking her head at her brother, while Harry simply glared at him.

She winced back when he advanced on her.

She didn't have time to react when he leaned over and picked her up.

She wanted to protest but Harry Potter did it for her

"Ron!" his friend screamed at him.

But her Master clearly wanted to annoy his friend, perhaps that's why he carried her onto the train. He placed her down on one of the wooden boxes in the storage car. He then began moving around looking through the boxes.

She wanted to ask him a million questions.

For one, what were he and the Ravenclaw boy talking about, because what she was thinking clearly could not be the truth. But instead she took a deep breath and said,

"What are you looking for?"

He didn't reply but turned and walked back to her. She saw him pull his wand.

"Damn it, what's that spell..." he mumbled to himself.

"What are you looking for?" she asked him again.

He looked at her and she almost gasped. His eyes, they were red and bloodshot, and his eyes had dark bags under them. He rubbed his eyes tiredly before looking away from her.

"Bandages," he mumbled, "For your leg."

He began waving his wand around trying to remember the spell.

"Accio first aid kit," she said.

His head snapped back to look at her.

"How did you..." he trailed off and she thought she saw him smile but when he moved into the light his face was stern again, "Accio first aid kit."

She saw a white box fly over to them and her Master caught it before opening it up.

"Do you...know how?"

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"I can do things on my own, you know," he said before leaning down so that he was knelling directly in front of her leg.

She winced in pain when he folded her jeans up her leg. She gasped when she felt something cold touch her leg.

"Wh- "

She saw him pouring some strange blue goo on the cut on her leg. She felt a strange sensation similar to feeling she got when her leg fell asleep. He reached up to grab something from the first aid kit and Hermione instantly shifted her hand away so that he wouldn't touch her.

"Don't move," he said before he began to wrap the bandage around her leg.

The next instant he was standing in front of her again.

Without a word he packed up the first aid kit before walking out of the storage cart.

Hermione simply stared at the space that he had just stood completely dumbstruck.

It would only be hours later while she was placing her bags into the servants lockers that she would wonder how on earth her Master had even known about the first aid kit. She had bought it as a last minute precaution, not even her parents had known about it.

* * *

Hermione spent the rest of the week watching her Master carefully.

He didn't seem any different, although his friend Harry Potter still appeared angry at him. She was still pondering over the events at the train station one night when she heard someone walking up the stairs. She instantly laid down beside a sleeping Lavender and pretended to be asleep as well.

She shivered slightly when her skin touched the cold stone floors. She wrapped her arms around her body to keep herself warm.

She felt someone standing next to her. She briefly wondered if it was her Master, but she had seen him go into his room hours earlier and no one had walked past her since then. So who could be standing above her now?

She tried not to tense up or to do anything obvious and give herself away. She heard a scraping metal sound before someone whispered an incantation. Then something fluffy and warm covered her body. The person stayed beside her a moment longer and she wondered if they had realised she wasn't really asleep but the next moment she heard the person walking away. She opened her eyes slightly and saw the shadows of the person dissappering down the stairs.

Hermione sat bolt upright causing something heavy fall into her lap.

She stared down at the maroon coloured blanket.

Hang on, she shouldn't be able to see anything at all at this time of -

Her breath caught in her throat.

There, floating in front of her face was a lantern, but that wasn't what was strange or caused Hermione's heart to race. The lantern held a blue flame that instantly warmed her cold body. She looked over and wondered why Lavender hadn't woken up and saw that her friend had a blanket placed over her as well. Lavender snuggled in the blanket and said something that sounded like 'Stupid Irishman' before she snored.

Hermione stared at the stairs where the person had disappeared.

She was torn between running down to see who the person had been and another part of wanted to lay down and fall asleep. She hesitated, she wasn't sure why but she felt as though whoever had done this didn't want her to know who they were.

"Screw it," she said before running down the stairs.

She slowed as she reached the bottom of the stairs. She looked around the common room but found it completely empty.

Disappointed and tired now she walked back up the steps deep in thought.

She wrapped the blanket around herself and stared that blue flames in the lantern until she felt her eyes close.

* * *

She opened her eyes when she heard whispering voices.

She rubbed her eyes and wondered if the students were wondering how she had gotten a lantern and blanket. She was thinking how she was going to defend herself but when she looked around she saw that the lantern and blanket were gone.

Had it been a dream?

She looked over and saw Lavender yawning and stretching her arms.

"Wow, that was the best sleep I've had in ages."

What bothered Hermione the most was that it hadn't been. In fact, last night had been the same as every night for her.

Could it be possible that whoever had given her the blanket had been doing the same thing every night?

'No. I would have realised it if that were the case.'

"Earth to Hermione."

She saw Lavender staring at her.

"You okay? you look a bit pale."

Hermione nodded her head before she followed Lavender down towards the common room to get to the servants quarters. They almost tripped when Harry Potter ran down the stairs, a frantic look on his face, his hair more messier than usual and sweat dripping down his face.

A moment later Seamus, Neville and her Master followed him down the stairs.

Lavender sighed.

"Good Morning Lavender," she made a gagging sound, "Oh - no, I have just spoken to my servant, I must now collapse and die."

Lavender made a face before pretending to collapse on the stairs.

Hermione would have laughed but her mind was replaying the scene from moments before.

Harry Potter and run down the stairs as though his life depended on it and her Master had been right on his heels.

But that wasn't what was looping in her mind.

Her Master had been -

She stared down at the stone stairs at their feet.

She felt Lavender begin to pull her down the stairs but her eyes were locked on the floor.

"Hermione? what are you doing?" her friend asked when she refused to move.

"Blood," she said pointing at the floor.

Then it occurred to her.

Seamus and Neville weren't running after Harry, they had been carrying her Master.

She felt panic rush over her.

'Wait - why should I care? He's a jerk...he deserves...to...'

An image of her Master knelling in front of her bandaging her leg flashed before her mind.

"Damn-it," she cursed out loud.

"What?" Lavender asked her.

"I think I have Stockholm's," she replied before she ran down the stairs.

"_...someone I thought I hated was hurt, and I can't stop thinking about it."_


	5. Things cannot stay the same

**Chapter Four - Things cannot stay the same**

'_**Dear Hermione,**_

_**I'm sorry to hear about your friend, but you still haven't told me how your research is going? Have you made much progress?**_

_**L.'**_

* * *

'_**Lance, **_

_**He is not my friend! And I haven't had much luck with research, I've been distracted.**_

_**H.'**_

_

* * *

_

Hermione felt pain shot up her hands as the stone walls cut into her fingers. Her feet were carrying her faster and faster down the dark stairwell. She prayed that she would be able to stop herself or at least slow down enough to stop herself from tripping the rest of the way. She shuddered to think of what would happen to her if she suddenly lost her footing.

Behind her she could hear Lavender calling out her name in panic and fear.

She had told her friend numerous times to stop and go back to the Gryffindor common room but Lavender ignored her.

"Please Lavender," she pleaded, "I don't know what's going on but I think ..."

She trailed off.

What did she think? and more to the point, why did she care?

She had spent the last few years of her life loathing her master and yet she couldn't stop the panicked feeling that gripped her chest everytime she remembered his pale face and the blood that had dripped onto the floor. She felt her body grow cold and she wasn't sure if it was from the wind rushing past her as she barrelled down the stairs or just her imagination - but she refused to think that it had to do with her Master.

**'Yeah,' **she heard a stubborn voice agreeing with her in her mind,** 'Your just worried that if he dies that you won't be able to help free the servants.'**

She gritted her teeth her fingers digging deeper into the stone walls and she felt herself slowing down.

**'That's right,'** she said to herself as she caught her breath,** 'I don't care about him, I just need him to stay alive long enough for me to bring down this stupid society.'**

She heard Lavender breathing heavily behind her.

"H-H..."

Hermione turned to see Lavender struggling to keep up.

"Her - Ouch!" Lavender cried shaking her fingers, she had clearly been shocked by the electric current from her bracelets, which meant her master was looking for her.

Hermione stopped and turned back to her friend.

What was she doing?

Why was she dragging her only friend along with her to face merlin knows what. She couldn't put her friend in that kind of danger, if she lost Lavender, then she really would be alone at Hogwarts.

"I'm so sorry Lavender," Hermione said as she caught her breath as well, "Please just stay here."

Lavender shook her head and Hermione thought she was going to protest but Lavender stood up straight and looked back up the stairs that they had just run down.

"My Master needs me," Lavender explained, "If I don't go he'll get suspicious right?"

Lavender turned round and stared at Hermione. Hermione suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable under her gaze, almost as though Lavender were pealing away the mental barriers she had put up and was reading her mind.

"You go," Lavender said slowly, "Take care of your Master."

"That's not what I'm..."

Lavender shook her head at Hermione.

"Please Hermione, after everything he's done for you, a witch would be crazy not to fall for him."

Lavender spun around and ran back up the stairs, a few moments later she disappeared into the shadows of the servants passage way.

Hermione stood frozen on the steps, her mouth agape.

"What the hell does that mean?!"

She thought she heard Lavender giggling but she dismissed it and ran the rest of the way down the stairs until she saw the doorway that led to the infirmary.

Hermione caught her breath as she reached the large wooden doors of the school hospital. She placed her hands on the handle and was just about to push open the doors when the voices inside stopped her.

"And this happened when?"

She moved close to the door to hear the voices more clearly.

"I don't know," a frustrated voice replied, and she recognised it as Harry Potter.

"Harry, calm down," she heard a girl say, Ginevra Weasley she concluded after a moment.

"Calm down?" Harry screamed back at her, "I almost killed my best friend! and your telling me to calm down?!"

After a moments silence he continued.

"First your dad and now this."

"No one is blaming you," an older male voice spoke, "But I fear that this may mean..."

The male voice trailed off and Hermione wondered what had happened when a 'whooshing' sound echoed around her.

"Professor Lupin?" Harry said in surprise.

"Hello Harry," another voice replied, "And its just 'Remus' now remember."

Hermione bit her lip and carefully and as quietly as possible pushed open the wooden doors to get a better look inside the room.

She saw a group of adults standing off to the side, one she recognised as one of the previous years Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers, but the others she didn't know. Her eyes moved over to the beds, where Harry Potter and Ginevra Weasley stood. Hermione's eyes fell on her Master's pale face as he sat up in one of the beds.

He looked horrible.

And she didn't mean it the way that she usually did, in that 'he's a jerk, he's so horrible', but rather 'he looks like he's close to death' kinda horrible.

She saw a girl lean over and place a laurel of strange looking flowers on his head. Her master looked up the girl curiously.

"Wild daisies," the girl said in a dreamy voice, her long blond tresses falling over her shoulder as she spoke, "I tried to find some Gurdy roots but I was a bit short on time, you collapsed so suddenly."

The way the girl spoke it was almost as though her Master had intentionally fallen ill just as she were about to make an important discovery on the lawns of Hogwarts.

But rather than being angry at her like Hermione expected, her Master simply laughed.

Hermione stared at him.

The last time she had heard him laugh...well she had never heard him laugh. And the sound of it sent shivers through her. She wasn't sure why but just hearing him laugh and seeing him smile made her feel uncomfortable, like she was seeing something intensely private. And yet his friends were just standing around as though he did this all the time, like he barred his soul for all the world to see every second of the day.

She saw Harry sigh at her Master.

"This isn't funny Ron," he said, "You almost died, and its all my fault."

Her master grinned up at him.

"Yeah, 'cause its never dangerous around you," her Master replied sarcastically.

"Are you sure you're okay?" his sister asked him.

Her master shrugged before he grimaced and grabbed his stomach.

"Thanks Luna," her Master asked as the blond haired girl helped him sit back against the pillows of the bed.

Hermione's eyes widened in shock.

**'**_**He - thanked someone?'**_

"What was that spell you used anyway Harry?" he continued looking at his friend.

"I - I don't know," Harry answered a confused expression on his face, "I was just having _that_ dream again and..."

"Shhh!"

Hermione started and backed away from the door.

The man who Hermione recalled as Professer Lupin, had looked up and stared straight at her.

"Someone's coming," he said.

She could hear the other adults saying something to her Master and his friends before she backed up and bumped into someone.

"Hem-Hem."

Hermione's eyes widened and she jumped away from the person she had just backed up into.

* * *

"_**Lance, remember me telling you that there was no one worse than my Master...well I may have left a few people out of when I said that..."**_

_**

* * *

**_

The woman narrowed her eyes at her before she looked down at her wrists. The woman's eyes lit up at the sight of the bracelets on Hermione's wrists.

Hermione backed away trying to hide her hands behind her back. She didn't like the almost predatory gleam in the woman's eyes, that and she was wearing an obscene amount of pink clothing.

"Come along - dear," the woman said gripping Hermione's arm and dragging her towards the infirmary.

The way she had said 'dear' sound like an insult but no matter how fast Hermione tried to think of an escape plan it wasn't fast enough.

The woman burst through the hospital doors dragging Hermione along with her. Hermione winced in pain and looked down to see that the woman's pink fingernails were digging into her arms like talons.

The next moment she was face to face with her Master.

She looked around and reaslied that the adults were no longer in the room, only her master and his friends remained.

If possible she saw her Master's face get even paler when he saw her but the next moment his face hardened and he looked up at the woman who had grabbed her.

"Hello Professor Umbridge," Harry Potter said through gritted teeth.

The woman squeezed Hermione's arm tighter and Hermione felt tears spring to her eyes.

"Servant."

Hermione jumped when her master spoke.

"Get me some water," he ordered her in a strained voice.

She looked up at the woman beside her and thought she saw a smile appear on her face. The woman's finger loosened and Hermione stepped away from her, she rushed over to a nearby table where a jug of water and glasses were.

"I was so distraught when I heard what had happened to your little friend Mr Potter," the woman said silkily causing Hermione's hand to shake slightly, because by her tone it sounded like she was more annoyed that her Master hadn't just died, as though it would have saved her a whole lot of trouble.

"Right," Harry replied as though he believed the woman as much as Hermione did.

"My brother is really tired," Ginevra Weasley said after a long silence had elapsed, "We should let him -"

"Yes," The woman said cutting her off before she could finish, "How _did_ you hurt - yourself?"

Hermione turned around with the glass in hand, slowly she walked over to her Master. She wanted to hear this as much as the woman did.

_**'What had happened to him?'**_

"I was polishing my broom," her Master replied, "and accidentally hit myself in the face."

"And that," the woman narrowed her eyes at him, "required you to get so ill that you had to be rushed to the infirmary?"

Hermione started when something crashed to the floor.

She turned to see the blond girl staring at a vase that was broken into pieces at her feet.

"Wrackspurt's," she said waving her hand around as though she were trying to hit some invisible flies.

"What?" the woman replied the fake smile slipping from her face.

"They're invisible, they float around and make your brain go fuzzy, they're probably what's causing Ron to feel so dizzy," the girl who her master had called Luna explained.

The woman ignored her and looked back at her master as though to continue her interrogation.

"What is going on here?!"

The school nurse ran over to them.

"Too many visitors will upset the patient," the nurse scolded them, "He needs to rest."

"Yes," the woman in pink agreed her eyes sweeping over all of them before looking at the nurse, "I expect a full report on the patient's condition by the end of the day."

The nurse looked like she wanted to hit the woman with the bottle in her hand but she simply pursed her lips and nodded.

The woman turned to look back at her Master, she squeezed his hand and her Master looked like he wanted to bite his own hand off.

"Get better, dear," the woman said before standing up fully and looking at her.

Hermione's fingers gripped the cup in her hands.

"Stay," the woman said in the same tone as you would talk to a dog and Hermione narrowed her eyes at her.

"Excuse me?" she heard herself say before she could stop herself, "I have a name you know, it's Hermione Granger."

She realised that everyone was staring at her like she had just grown an extra head.

She felt her face heat up and she looked down at the ground.

The woman laughed but there was no humour in her voice when she spoke.

"Indeed," she said, "Stay - Miss Granger, make sure your Masters needs are met."

She didn't like the way the woman had said 'needs' and she was pretty sure she wasn't the only one who felt this way because even though her eyes were no longer looking at the woman she could see her Master's fist on the bed. He was gripping the blankets at his sides so tightly that she thought he would tear it from the bed.

"Well then shall we go Mr Potter?"

She looked up to see the woman lead her Masters friends from the room.

"I have some Gurdy roots in my room Ron, I'll make some juice and bring them by later," Luna smiled before skipping after the woman.

"Thank's Luna," her master laughed.

**_'There, there's that laugh again,_**' Hermione stared at her Master in disbelief before she noticed someone's eyes on her.

Harry Potter was looking at her suspiciously before he turned and followed everyone else out of the room.

"Here you go, this should help you sleep."

The school nurse handed her Master a cup of some strange yellow liquid. He made a face before drinking the whole cup in one gulp.

"Ugh," he said afterwards as though he were going to puke the contents of the cup back up again.

Hermione handed him the cup and he took it and drank the water.

"Thanks," he said to her before leaning back against the pillows.

_**'Thanks?'**_

"Hmmm," the nurse said before she waved her wand at the broken vase. It repaired itself and the daisies inside came back to life.

The nurse looked at her and pursed her lips once more before walking away.

Hermione took the cup out of her masters hand and placed it on the bed side table.

After a few minutes completely at a loss as to what she should do, she dragged a chair over and sat beside her master.

She thought her master had fallen asleep but when she looked up she found him staring at her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her in a raspy voice.

She looked down at her hands before replying.

"I don't know," she said slowly.

She wanted to say more, like ask him why he had helped her that day on the train platform but when she looked up again his eyes were closed and she could hear him snoring softly.

* * *

'_**L, **_

_**Do you ever get the feeling that everyone else knows something you don't? Well I feel like that all the time and I HATE IT!**_

_**H.'**_

* * *

Hermione opened her eyes when she heard a noise beside her. She sat up and streched her stiff body.

She yawned and then quickly covered her mouth when she saw the person sitting across from her.

"Um...hello," she said slowly while trying to brush her hair from her face.

Her masters sister watched her cautiously.

"Do you know who I am?" she asked Hermione.

"Ginevra Weasley," Hermione replied, she saw the girl cringe when she said her name.

"Please," she said, "Call me Ginny. No one's called me Ginevra since I was six."

"Okay," Hermione said before looking down awkwardly.

It was then that she realised that the bed where her Master should be was empty. She looked up at Ginny.

"Where - ?"

Ginny Weasley rolled her eyes.

"That stupid brother of mine," she said in exasperation, "He won't let the Ravenclaws prove him wrong."

Ginny looked at her as though debating whether she should be trusted. Her eyes dropped down to Hermione's wrists and Hermione twisted her fingers together nervously. She was noticing a lot of people doing that these days.

"I'll go find him," Hermione said when she couldn't stand the silence any longer.

"You..."

Hermione stopped just as she was about to stand up and looked over at Ginny instead.

"You shouldn't get too close to him," she continued, "It's not safe."

Hermione furrowed her brow.

"For me...or for him?" she questioned because she wasn't sure who Ginny was referring to.

Instead of explaining Ginny stood up and left her alone in the infirmary.

Hermione stared down at her wrists.

"What's is going on here? Everyone is acting so strangely."

She was still tired but after cleaning herself up and grabbing a quick breakfast with the kitchen elves and reassuring Lavender that everything was fine, she headed up the servants staircase to find her Master. She wasn't really sure how but the magic on her bracelets meant she could find him no matter where he was, just in case he needed an extra helping of food before Quidditch practice, before class, before bed and pretty much all hours of the day - she had become quite quick on her feet after all the years she run from the school kitchen's to wherever it was her Master was.

She found him a few minutes later in a dark corner of the library pouring over some old dusty books. She slowed as she approached him and she realised she had never spoken to him before other than in response to his orders.

She took a deep breath before walking over to him. His hair was a mess, and was sticking out all over the place as though he had spent the entire night running his hands through it in frustration. He heard her approach and he looked up at her, his eyes widened before he quickly closed some books and moved them off the table.

"Um," she said when she had stopped beside him, "Your sister..."

For the first time in her life she couldn't speak. He was looking up at her like he had never had before - no - he had looked at her like that once, when they were eleven years old.

He looked worried about her. She didn't understand it but at least he hadn't started shouting and ordered her to leave.

He looked away and began reading again, but this time he was sitting up straighter and she could see his hands were clenching the book in his hands tightly.

She just stood there trying to think of what to say, and wondered what on earth had compelled her to come here in the first place.

_**'Am I worried about him?' **_

No that couldn't be it, she dismissed the thought quickly.

**'Research,'** a voice in her head said.

"Research," she repeated aloud.

This caused her Master to jump in surprise.

"W-what?" he said in alarm.

"I need to do research," she explained, "Can I?"

He stared at her.

"Okay," he said but he sounded unsure but she didn't give him a chance to change his mind.

She ran down the bookshelves till she found what she was looking for.

He coughed when she placed the newspapers on the desk and the dust flew up into the air.

"Sorry," she said when he started to sneeze and cough some more.

He waved his wand and the dust disappeared.

They sat in silence.

Hermione pulled out the oldest newspaper and began reading.

'**Minister Malfoy's new proclamation a hit!'**

She read the numerous articles on the new Minister and as she did she wondered why she hadn't ever bothered to do this sooner. She couldn't say that she understood everything he did but at least she knew that he wasn't completely insane.

She looked up when she noticed her Master rubbing his eyes before he continued taking notes in an old notebook that had clearly seen better days.

"What are you researching?"

He took the words right out of her mouth. He wasn't looking at her but continued writing in his book but when she didn't answer him he looked up at her.

She dropped her eyes when they met his.

"I - uh," she mumbled.

**'This is so awkward, I have no idea how to talk to him. Heck, I'm still getting over the shock of him not shouting at me to leave.'**

"You want to know more about Malfoy?" he answered for her.

The way he had said the Minister of Magic's name was filled with so much loathing and disgust that she forgot how awkward she felt and looked straight up at him.

"You don't like him do you," she realised.

"Of course not," he said an angry look on his face, "A lot of people don't agree with their governments, but there is very little -"

He stopped and she saw his jaw clench.

"Just don't go digging too deep," he continued after a moments silence, "You may not like what you find."

"But I don't think he's evil," she replied, surprising even herself that she could talk so normally with her master, they were talking about a morbid topic, the enslavement of a whole group of people but nonetheless it was still an improvement in their relationship.

"Why do you say that?" he said but she noticed him looking around them nervously.

"He doesn't support Vold-"

"Don't say his name," her master hissed at her, "We call him 'you know who'."

Hermione blinked at him.

"Well he doesn't support 'you know who'," she continued.

"What makes you think that," he replied turning back to his work.

"He said so," she replied holding up the newspaper in her hands.

"And you believe him?" her Master said incredulously, "People say and do a lot of things, that doesn't mean that they mean them."

His eyes widened when he said this and he looked away from her. She wondered briefly why he was acting so strangely but then again this was the most that they had talked - ever. Perhaps he acted like this all the time. This thought made her think back to him smiling and laughing in the hospital. She shook her head to clear her thoughts.

She looked down at the papers in her hands.

She wasn't stupid, she knew that people did things and said things that they may not mean but there was something in the Minister's face.

The image of Minister Malfoy waved up at her a broad smile on his face.

"There's nothing malicious in that smile," she explained, "Sure I'm not fan of his policies but - from this picture you can tell he enjoys the power that he has and people with power don't want someone else more powerful taking that away from them."

When she looked up she saw her Master staring at her with the same concerned expression as before.

He opened his mouth as though to say something in response but then thought better of it and closed it again. He looked down at his watch before standing up from the table.

"I should get ready for class," he mumbled before grabbing his books and shoving them in his bag.

"Do you need help?" she said which surprised even herself, she had never volunteered to do anything for him before.

Obviously he was thinking the same thing because he stepped away from her suspiciously.

He looked down at her wrists before up at her face again.

"I'm fine," he said before he walked away from her.

She stared down at her wrists where the bracelets were.

"Why does everyone keep doing that?"

She looked at the books around her.

**'Something else I can research while I'm here.'**

* * *

'_**H, **_

_**If you hate it then you know the only way to solve it is to find the answers right? And remember that even though I'm not always by your side, I'll always find a way to protect you.**_

_**L.'**_

* * *


	6. Her hair was pressed against her face

**Chapter Five - Her hair was pressed against her face**

'**L,**

**I've been having trouble sleeping lately. I keep having the same dream - I would call it a nightmare but it's not all bad. I don't know if I'm making sense but I'm starting to suspect that something is seriously wrong with me.**

**H.'**

* * *

_Cold._

_So very cold._

_Hermione felt her vision blurring, and she was so very tired. She wanted to close her eyes and sleep. But a part of her was frightened. _

_Where was she?_

_Why did her head hurt so much?_

_Her breathing slowed._

'_Is that someone calling my name?' she wondered briefly before she closed her eyes._

_Then - someone was beside her._

_And it was warm again. _

_She was being carried - as though weightless._

"_It's okay, you're safe now," a soothing voice whispered into her ear._

_Her eyes opened slightly and she tried to move her head to look at who had spoken but she felt so tired, every part of her felt so heavy._

_She could only see white - white and the sound of wind howling around her._

"_Safe now..." she heard the person say, she thought he had said something more but then she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep._

'_Safe.'_

* * *

Hermione shot bolt upright and almost knocked herself in the head with the floating lantern.

'**The same dream again, what can it mean?'**

She wiped the sweat that was dripping down her face.

"I can't get it to work, I'll have to -"

Hermione froze.

A shadow was cast on the floor and she turned to see who it was. But she didn't really need to, she knew that voice well enough.

Her master was standing in the doorway to his dormitory with his friend. They were both staring down at her.

She saw Harry look at the lantern floating in front of her face.

"What - "

Was all he was able to say before a popping noise caused them all to jump.

"Harry Potter is awake," the house elf said picking up the blankets and lantern, "Dobby is honoured to clean -"

"Oh," Harry said slowly looking at her before turning to talk to the elf, "you did this Dobby?"

"Well anyway, we better get ready for Quidditch Practice," her master cut int.

The house elf nodded his head vigorously before he disappeared.

Harry and her Master stepped past her and made their way down the corridor to the bathrooms. As she wiped the sleep from her eyes she thought she saw Harry looking at her, but when she looked he was talking to her Master.

"Ron," he had said in a warning tone before they disappeared into the bathrooms.

* * *

**H,**

**Dreams are often a way of your subconscious telling you something, then again it could be just a way for you mind to get rid of useless junk. I'm sorry you're having trouble sleeping, I hope this package helps you feel better.**

**Sweet Dreams, L.'**

**

* * *

**

Hermione held the box of mint and ginger tea in her hands.

"What's that?" Lavender said as she took a seat at the kitchen table with her.

Her friend began to eat her breakfast and Hermione closed the box in her hands before looking up at her.

"Just some tea," she explained before taking a sip of the tea from her cup.

She munched on her toast and thought about the dream before looking up at Lavender.

"The other day," she said watching her friend closely, "You said something about - 'after all the stuff my master had done for me', what did you mean by that?"

Lavender started.

"Oh, did I say that?" she said before she began shoveling food in her mouth.

Hermione raised an eyebrow at her.

"Time to go," Lavender said wiping her face before getting up.

"H-hey!" Hermione said grabbing some toast and running after her.

Lavender had just entered the servants staircase when she grabbed her arm.

"Lavender," she said turning her friend around to look at her, "What is going on?"

Lavender looked around before closing the door behind them.

The noise of the kitchen died away as they began to ascend the staircase.

"I didn't -"

"Lavender," she said again when she suspected that her friend was going to deny saying the things she did.

She heard Lavender sigh.

"Hermione, come on," Lavender finally said, "Do you really need me to explain to you?"

Hermione couldn't really see clearly in the darkness of the passageway but she did see the look of disbelief on Lavender's face.

"I really don't understand."

Lavender stopped and turned to look at her concerned now.

"You really don't remember?" Lavender questioned her.

"No," Hermione shook her head.

Lavender looked as though she were waiting for Hermione to say something more but Hermione really didn't know what she was expecting.

"Think about it Hermione," her friend said, "And if you really can't remember, maybe its better that way."

"What?" she said but Lavender had turned and walked up the stairs again and she knew that the conversation had ended.

She stood on the staircase a while longer. Lavender had long since gone, and she simply stared out down towards the moving staircases through the gaps in the wall beside her.

She suddenly jolted.

"Anna?!"

* * *

'**L,**

**Thanks for the tea, but I have problems that even tea can't solve for me.**

**H.'**

* * *

Hermione pushed open the doors that led to the fourth floor. She spun around searching for her friends familiar short blonde hair.

As far as she knew Anna had decided to quit Hogwarts. She had only missed a few weeks but Anna's parents decided to take her out of Hogwarts, and keep her close to them instead.

"Oh hello."

Hermione turned when she heard her mousy friend's voice.

She ran towards the direction of the voice.

'Why is she here?' Hermione wondered as she turned the corner.

Empty.

"What?" she said aloud.

She took a tentative step forward.

"I was sure that she was just here," she said to herself as she paced the corridor.

"How strange," she said as she walked back to the servants passageway.

'**I guess I was just seeing things, she did write to me personally to tell me she wouldn't be coming back.'**

Hermione stepped inside the dark passageway and slid down to the closest step, pressing her head against the cool stone.

"What's going on with me?" she said as she felt a dull ache pulsate through her temples.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there but the next thing she knew she heard the familiar voices beside the doorway.

'**I'm not going to listen,'** she ordered herself, **'look at where all this eavesdropping has landed - hang on...'**

Hermione crept forward and peered through the key hole gap.

Her eyes widened in shock.

'**No - Way!'**

"We shouldn't," Anna said as a blush crept up her neck, "What if someone sees."

"S-sorry," Neville stammered lowering his hands from her face, "I've just missed you, and these lessons are the only time we can see each other."

Anna bit her lip and looked down at the floor in embarrassment.

"I've missed you too," she said softly.

"Oi, you two love birds."

Hermione gasped and jumped away from the door.

Her Master was standing on the other side of the door. He had his arms crossed and didn't look impressed about Anna and Neville's secret rendezvous in the dark corner of the corridor.

"Shouldn't you be getting back?" she heard her Master say though he still sounded annoyed.

"O-oh yes," Anna said.

There was a shuffling noise and then silence.

Hermione thought that they had left but then Neville spoke again.

"Sorry Ron," he said and he really did sound sorry.

She heard her Master sigh and she moved back to look through the key hole. No matter how much she resisted her curiosity was killing her, lately she had been watching her Master more and more. She had already seen him laughing and joking with his friends and she was curious what other aspects of his character she could uncover - for research purposes of course.

"At least you didn't do it around the others," her master said, "We haven't all been as successful as you."

"I know," Neville replied sympathetically.

"Ah forget it," her Master waved his hand dismissively but he still looked away before he spoke, "She told me herself that she wouldn't leave without a fight. It's my own fault for not listening to her."

"Ron?"

Her master turned and Hermione saw Ginny walking over to him.

"Harry needs to talk to you."

"Is he still -"

"No he's gone back to the common room," Ginny said but not before she made a face.

"What's with you?" her Master questioned in response to the disgusted face his sister had.

"Nothing, but I think I know what he wants to talk to you about, and it has nothing to do with the class."

With that Ginny spun around, her ginger hair swaying behind her as she left.

"Let's go Nev," Her master said before the two boys left.

* * *

'**H,**

**Are you having boy troubles? As an objective male I can tell you - I don't want to hear about any male fantasies you have.**

**L.'**

* * *

'**L.**

**Ha-ha so very funny. It's nothing like that. I am confused though, incredibly confused, and the more I see and hear I just get more confused. Even with all the research I'm doing, I come up with more questions than answers.**

**H.'**

* * *

"Researching again?" Her master said as he took a seat across from her.

They were once more in the dark corner of the library, the numerous library bookshelves obscuring them from curious eyes. Not that they were doing anything suspicious but she got the impression that her Master didn't want people seeing them together so casually. She should be insulted if he weren't so - well not nice exactly but not mean to her at least.

"Yes, sir," she replied.

She heard him snort at this.

"You can leave off the 'sir', I feel like an old man when you say that."

She nodded her head before returning to her work and he to his.

Every now and then she would look up but he was diligently reading those dusty old books. She tried to sneak a peek but he had his arm covering most of the texts.

"Who is that you write to all the time?"

Hermione looked up from her letter to find her Master watching her curiously.

"Oh, he's just a muggle friend."

"He?" Her Master questioned.

'**Was that disappointment in his voice?'**

"Boyfriend?" he said before looking down at his work once more.

She wanted to say 'why do you care' but the look on his face was so tortured that she couldn't bring herself to say anything at all.

Finally he looked up at her and she had to move her mouth.

"No, I mean he's a nice guy but -"

'**But what?' **

Now that she thought about it, Lance was a really great guy. He was funny and sweet and she's known him since they were kids. Why on earth didn't she want to date him?

She looked up to find her Master had resumed his work and she felt her heart sink a little.

'**Hang on why should I care what he thinks?'**

'**So what if he's just asking me these things to polite, at least he's not being as rude as he was previously.'**

"Why are you - being so nice," she heard herself say aloud.

Her Master looked up at her in surprise.

"Am I?" he said sitting back and placing his hands behind his head, "Would you prefer it if I ordered -"

ZAP!

Hermione cringed when the familiar electric shock ran through her as he spoke the words 'order'.

She opened her eyes to find him frowning at her.

"What's wrong with you?" he said leaning forward.

'**Does he mean in general? Cause that's a long list.'**

"N-nothing," she said hiding her hands under the table and rubbing her wrists.

She had been noticing him staring at her wrists a lot lately and although she didn't understand why, it made her incredibly uncomfortable when he did.

"Hmm," he said thoughtfully, "We should head back."

Hermione started when he said 'we' and she looked up at him in surprise.

"We missed dinner," he explained, "And I haven't visited Dobby in a while, we should go to the kitchens on our way back to the common room."

If he had asked her just a few weeks ago she would have instantly assumed that he was up to no good, but as she watched him pack up his belongings she didn't think he had any malicious intent behind what he had said.

And that scared her.

* * *

"**L,**

**Have you ever played chess? Well I feel like I'm someone's pawn but I can't decide whose side I'm on.**

**H."**

* * *

"**H,**

**How about instead of playing for someone else you play for yourself?**

**L."**

* * *

Hermione watched her Master curiously.

They had approached a wall high mural.

"What are you doing?" she questioned him when he leaned toward the mural and tickled one of the fruits.

But before he could answer a doorway appeared.

Hermione's eyes widened.

She looked back at her Master.

"Ladies first," he said with a smile but after he had spoken he frowned and looked away from her.

"Thank you," she said in barely a whisper as she walked past him.

The elves were running around clearing dishes and magically making the extra food disappear.

She saw an elf run towards them and recognised him from the other day.

"Hey Dobby," her master greeted, "This is from Harry, a belated Christmas gift."

The house elf looked at the socks in his hands tearfully.

"Friends of Harry Potter is always welcome. Weasey hungry sir?" the house elf questioned as he blew his noise on his apron.

"Very," her master replied and he and the house began to walk through the kitchen. Their progress was slow as all the house elves ran over to her Master and began asking him if he needed anything or just to talk to him which she found odd.

Hermione followed still at a loss as to how her Master knew the elves and in particular the house elf called 'Dobby'. She saw the house elves running around collecting food for them, and a few stopped to ask her what she wanted to drink, before they remembered who she was and stepped back as though afraid to hurt her. They knew as well as she did that if they helped her that she would collapse to the floor while electric shocks ran through her body. She smiled at them to show that she wasn't angry with them and she turned to follow her master.

Hermione stopped when she bumped into her Masters back. He turned and looked at her, he looked as though he were going to say something but Dobby called his name.

Hermione looked and saw that the house elf was holding aside a the curtain that hid the one of the storage areas of the kitchen. Her Master entered and after a moments trepidation she followed.

The room was filled ceiling high with shelves of cheese and vegetables, and in the centre of the room was a small wooden table.

Her master pulled out one of the two chairs and took a seat at the table. He dropped his bag to the floor and it made a 'thump' noise from all the books inside.

In a few moments the table was filled with food that made her mouth water. Her food wasn't exactly disgusting but it wasn't anything like this.

She looked up when she heard a bottle being uncapped.

Her master was pouring a rich caramel coloured drink into her cup.

"It's your favourite right?"

She stared at him.

**'My favourite?'**

She picked up the cup warily and watched him take a sip of his own cup before she placed her own to her lips.

The warm sweet liquid filled her mouth and she felt her whole body becoming more relaxed.

"What?" was all she was able to say before she drank some more.

"Butterbeer," he laughed, "Why do you always make that face whenever you drink it."

She placed the cup down on the table and stared at him.

His blue eyes sparkled when he smiled and the corners of his eyes crinkled.

"What do you mean? I've never had this before in my life."

He stopped laughing then and the room fell silent.

"Oh, right," he said his smile disappearing, "Well I'm starving."

With that he began to eat without another word.

Hermione suddenly felt queasy.

She reached up to touch her temples and instantly regretted it.

She felt a sharp pain run through her.

When she was finally able to look up she realised that her Master was holding her.

"W-what happened?" she said and was surprised to hear the sound of her own voice. She sounded horrible.

"You collapsed," he explained.

Hermione's eyes went around the room anything to avoid looking into his eyes. Because she felt something stir within her when she did.

"Where - ?" she began but then remembered that they were in the school kitchens.

"We were eating..." she said slowly.

She gasped when her Master lifted her off the floor where he had been holding her and placed her back into her chair.

Her eyes widened when he took out his wand and pointed it at her.

"Calm down," he said when he saw her panicked look.

"I know some basic medical charms," he explained before knelling down in front of her.

"Look straight ahead," he ordered her.

She felt a jolt run through her fingers as her bracelets gave her the usual electric shock.

"What...what was that?" he said.

She looked down at him.

"What?" she replied innocently.

He stared at her as though waiting for her to crack but then he shook his head and ordered her to look straight ahead of her again.

She did as she was told and tried her best to not move as his fingers touched her temples and various other places on her head. She was surprised he could do anything with her hair in the way and she mumbled something to that effect. She looked up in time to see a small smile on his face before he moved to stand behind her.

"I always loved your hair," he replied, but as she was unable to see his face, she couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

When he finally returned to his seat she still had a bewildered look on her face.

"So, what's the diagnosis," she asked him as she began fiddling with the fork on the table.

"Everything seems fine," he replied but she noticed the way he hesitated before he had answered her.

She looked up from the table and found his smile had disappeared and he was eating his dinner with a sober - if not depressed look on his face.

She would have asked him what had upset him but she didn't know if he would tell her if she did. All she knew was that she felt something tug at her chest when she saw his face, he looked - heartbroken.

* * *

'**L,**

**I'm trying but I can't decide if I'm being manipulated or if I'm seeing things clearly for the first time. I know I'm not making much sense but I'm starting to feel...I'm starting to **_**feel**_**.**

**H.'**

**

* * *

**


	7. Her eyes were red with anger

**Chapter 6 - Her eyes were red with anger**

* * *

**_L,_**

**_'All this time, I've been trying to uncover the secrets of the school...but maybe there's an even bigger secret right in front of me..._**

**_But is it okay for me to be so consumed with this new mystery? Maybe I'm just getting distracted by emotion.'_**

**_H._**

**_

* * *

_**

"Ugh."

Hermione heard a loud banging and clanging noise echo around her.

_**'What is that horrible noise?' **_she wondered holding her hands over her ears and trying desperately to block out the bright light stinging her eyes, causing them to water.

It was a voice.

"Ugh," she mumbled once more as she pulled herself up from the cold floor.

When her body stopped aching, at least less than it had ten minutes ago she opened her eyes.

Lavender was sitting across from her a smirk on her face.

"Morning sunshine!"

"Not so loud," she replied in a hoarse voice.

Lavender giggled, the sound felt like sandpaper against her eardrums and she crinkled up her nose.

"What on earth did you do last night?" her friend asked her handing her a cup of tea.

Hermione rubbed her eyes and pulled her cloak closer to her body - hang on - cloak?

Hermione almost dropped the cup on her lap when she looked down and saw her Master's cloak on her shoulders.

"Umm..."

"Yes, that was going to be next question," Lavender continued.

Hermione rubbed her temples and took a sip of tea with her shaky fingers.

_**'What happened last night?'**_

She heard her friend sigh in disappointment.

"Well if you're not going to share your juicy secrets than I'm going back to work."

Hermione watched her friend stand up, and it was then that she realised that she wasn't lying out in the middle of the corridor. Her eyes instantly widened.

"Wha...?" was all she was able to say as her eyes raced around the boys dormitory.

Lavender sighed once more but more dramatically this time.

"Honestly, Hermione, you must stop making a habit out of this."

Hermione stared at her friend in confusion.

"I'm all for drinking your sorrows away but drinking to the point where you can't remember what you did the night before?" Lavender handed her something and she took it blindly, "Well that's just unhealthy."

Hermione nodded in agreement not even aware that Lavender had long since walked out of the room.

She stared at the object in her hand that Lavender had handed to her.

She closed her aching eyes and took a few deep breaths before opening them again. Taking another shaky sip of her tea she looked at the object in her hands once more.

It was a white school shirt. The familiar grass stains were gone but the initials stitched into the collar revealed the owner of the shirt.

"Ow...my head," she said to herself as she stood up from the floor as the throbbing sensation returned.

_**'I don't think I was drinking last night,**_' she thought to herself as she prepared herself for a long day of laundry.

As she walked down the stairs to the common room she thought back to the night before.

An image floated in front of her eyes.

Her Master. His eyes were sad as he..he was...

He was...

Her head suddenly felt fuzzy and she tripped on the steps. She was able to stop herself from falling down the stairs and was just thanking Merlin for her luck when she heard something crash at the bottom of the stairs. She instantly made her way to the bottom but when she did she froze.

"Where is he?!" Ginny Weasly said in a complete panic.

She was talking to Harry Potter. The door to the common room was wide open. The crashing noise must have been her Master's sister as she ran into the room. Harry held his arms out as though to catch her - but he quickly dropped them when the Weasley girl stared at him.

"He's fine," he replied.

This seemed to relax the Ginny somewhat but then she looked around the room.

"Then where is he? I didn't see him in the infirmary."

"We wouldn't have gone there anyway," Harry replied.

"Well I know," Ginny sounded annoyed now, "But where else was I supposed to go? Neville quickly passed me that note in the hallway before disappearing himself and I'm left wondering what my idiot brother has done this time."

"Well..." Harry seemed to stretch the word out as he scratched his head.

Ginny rolled her eyes.

"He was being heroic again wasn't he? That idiot!"

Harry simply shrugged his shoulders.

Ginny sighed and Hermione could see the concern as well as irritation on her face.

"Am I supposed to always be the grown up?" she continued, then after a pause, "He wasn't here with us last year...he's forgotten how to..."

Harry scoffed at this.

"Please Ginny, its your brother, even before the accident he was always a hot head. Thinking with his heart, not his head. "

Ginny shook her head.

"Where is the prat?"

"Talking to Dobby," Harry replied, "Cleaning up the evidence."

"I'm worried," Ginny continued with another sigh, "I don't trust the magic, we didn't exactly get Dumbledore's permission...maybe we should have asked Remus or Tonks to do it for us."

"It's fine," Harry replied.

Ginny looked up at Harry.

"Do you believe that? or do you just want it to be true."

Harry didn't reply and she changed the topic.

"What happened anyway?"

"What do you think?"

A silence followed and Hermione could see Ginny's face go red with anger.

"Malfoy," she said through clenched teeth.

Harry nodded.

Hermione took a step back.

That was a mistake.

"What was that?" she heard Harry say instantly.

"Are you sure we're alone up here?" Ginny said in a panicked voice.

Silence.

Then the next moment she heard the common room door open and close again.

Hermione collapsed onto the steps.

She had never heard anyone refer to Draco Malfoy that way before - at least not in that tone. There was no way the Minister of Magic would ever allow such disrespect towards his son. Doing something like that could get you in a lot of trouble.

Hermione placed her head on her lap. She felt as though the world were spinning around her so fast, it made her queazy.

She couldn't understand half of what they had said but several things had stood out.

_**'What did she mean her Master wasn't here last year?' **_she thought to herself as she slowly stood back up.

He had been here, she remembered carrying all those books with him from the library as he tried to help Harry win the Goblet of Fire competition. She walked down the servants staircase deep in thought.

* * *

_H,_

**_'What emotion is that?_**

**_Whatever the case, you should always follow your heart, it will lead you in the right direction. Just be careful...'_**

**_L._**

* * *

"Do you understand me?"

Hermione gasped and instantly stepped back into the staircase, she left the door open a crack so that she could continue watching her Master as he spoke to the house elf Dobby.

"She can't see this, no one can," her Master continued.

"Dobby understands, Weasy sir."

Her Master nodded and thanked the house elf before he walked out of the room. She pressed herself back into the dark as he walked past the door she was hiding behind but the instant he was gone she jumped out and ran over to the house elf.

She must have looked insane becuase the poor elf jumped into the air in fright at the sight of her.

"Dobby...that's your name right?" she said slightly out of breath.

The house elf nodded. He moved something behind him and she frowned.

"What is that? what are you hiding?"

"N-n-nothing, D-Dobby is cleaning Dobby is."

Her eyes turned to the left where the large tub of laundry hot water swirled, steam rising into the air.

"I see," she said slowly turning around as though to walk away.

The house elf sighed in relief and lifted his arms to throw the shirt in his hands into the vat of hot water.

Hermione spun on her heels and grabbed it just before it reached the water. The poor house elf made a squeaking sound and tried to grab it off her but it was too late. She had seen what he had been hiding.

She felt the blood drain from her face.

The shirt fell to the floor, her shaky fingers unable to hold onto it any longer.

"Wh...What happened?" she said in barely a whisper.

The house elf picked up the shirt but didn't reply. Large tears filled his eyes and he turned to place the shirt into the water.

Hermione watched as it spun around and around, causing the water to turn red as the blood was washed away.

She swallowed unable to comprehend the strange feeling within her.

Her heart was racing and she felt suddenly hot.

_**'His face.'**_

Her thoughts returned to her Master. When he had walked past her she thought he looked pale but she had thought nothing of it.

She closed her eyes and tried to remember.

The memory replayed in her mind.

_**"She can't see this, no one can," her Master continued.**_

_**"Dobby understands Weasy sir."**_

_He walked past her..._

Her eyes snapped open.

It had been hard to see but she saw it. His face had indeed been pale, sickly even, and there had been strange marks on his neck and hands.

Her mind began to put the pieces together.

**_"What happened anyway?"_**

**_"What do you think?"_**

**_"Malfoy."_**

Her hands covered her mouth in shock.

Her feet moved before her mind had even realised it.

_**"You're a strange one."**_

_**"Who is it that you write to all the time?...boyfriend?"**_

_**"You always liked butterbeer..."**_

His voice swam around her head.

She didn't understand why and right at that moment she didn't care to much for thinking at all. The only thing she knew was that he was hurt, and something told her to run, run as fast as possible - because she had to get to him.

She stepped out of the kitchens and ran down the hallways.

She stumbled.

Hermione felt as though a bludger had slammed straight into her head. She saw the stone floors come crashing towards her but she couldn't think, the pain was too much.

And that's when it first happened.

* * *

H_ermione laughed as she watched Ron wave his wand in front of him like a sword._

_"Unhand her you fiend!" he said in an overly dramatic voice._

_"Ah my hero," she replied trying not to fall off the bed as she laughed at how ridiculous he looked._

_He folded his hand over his chest. His messy hair falling over his eyes as he frowned at her._

_"This is serious 'Mione," he said but she could see the corners of his mouth twitching as though he were about to burst into laughter himself._

_She held a hand over her mouth nodded her head at him, encouraging him to continue._

_He smiled then moved to stand in a fighting position once more._

_That did it, she burst into uncontrollable giggles._

_"I can't!" she laughed, her stomach hurt from how hard she was laughing._

_"Mione!" he chided, "Who was it that insisted that I take part in this stupid muggle play?"_

_She couldn't even reply, she was laughing much too hard._

_The next moment Ron was standing beside the bed, his arms folded and eyebrows raised._

_"And here I thought I was doing so well," he replied knelling down so that he could look her straight in her eyes._

_Hermione instantly stopped laughing._

_His blue eyes softened as he looked at her._

_"Hermione."_

_

* * *

_

"Hermione!"

"Oi! Hermione wake up!"

Hermione started.

She was staring up into her Master's eyes. His face softened when he saw she had regained consciousness but his expression quickly hardened.

"What the bleedin' hell are you doing?!" he asked her accusingly releasing her from his grip.

It was then that she realised that she had been lying in his arms on the floor of the corridor. He moved away from her and sat looking at her unimpressed as though he knew exactly what she had been doing, following him.

Hermione held her aching head for a moment before looking around. She felt strange. That...dream just now, it had felt so real but as she sat there in the corridor she felt it slip away from her, like water running through her fingers, the more she tried to hold on the quicker it disappeared from her mind.

"I...I must have blacked out..." she realised trying to stand up but her legs felt like jelly.

She felt strong hands hold her still. Her Master knelt down in front of her. She shivered slightly when he touched her temples.

He frowned.

"How...how long has this been happening?"

"Since last night," she answered, hoping he meant the blackouts and not her strange reaction to him.

He brow furrowed.

"You better get some rest," he said helping her up, then he must have realised that he was holding her, and let her go.

She stumbled slightly but was able to stand up on her own.

"Thank you," she said not entirely sure why she was thanking him.

He nodded at her before walking off.

She saw him look over his shoulder at her before turning a corner.

She knew she should rest as he had told her but another part of her screamed at her to follow him.

* * *

**_L,_**

**_'Now don't freak out...but I think I may be in trouble. Very deep trouble.'_**

**_H._**

* * *

Hermione walked down the corridor intent on following her Master. She had to get to the bottom of this, she knew he was hiding something.

_**'Why do you care?' **_the annoying voice inside her questioned.

_**'Because...he probably drugged me - or did something to make me forget what happened last night.'**_

Even as she thought it she knew it was ridiculous, he would never do anything like that. At least, she didn't think he would.

_**'Cause you know him so well?'**_

She blew some hair out of her face and turned the corner.

She gasped and placed a hand over her chest, she could feel her heart racing as she stared into the eyes of the man in front of her.

She had run straight into her Master and he looked furious.

"Didn't I tell you to get some rest?"

_**'How did he know that I was following him? I was so quiet...'**_

She saw a smirk appear on his face as though he knew exactly what she was thinking. He shook his head before turning away.

"It was more a suggestion than an order," she replied, not sure where she had gotten the courage to say that aloud.

He looked at her, but rather than being angry he looked like he was about to smile. But he turned away from her instead.

"Stop following me," he said, his voice cold this time as he walked away, "_**That**_ was an order."

She felt the familiar sting in her hands when he said the 'O' word.

"Yes Ro - Master."

She saw him stop and she thought he was about to turn around but after a moment he continued walking again.

_**'Was I just about to say his name?'**_ She questioned herself as she walked back to the servants quarters,_** 'Its all because of that stupid dream or whatever that was...He's right, I need some rest.'**_

* * *

_**H,**_

_**'Yeah Hermione, how is that **__**not**__** supposed to freak me out?! What's going on?'**_

_**L.**_

_**

* * *

**_

He was sitting in the courtyard. He was laughing with Harry and his face - that face...

Hermione felt a shiver run up her spine and she quickly spun around, turning away from the window.

_**'Get a grip!' **_she shouted internally, '_**So he's a little nice to you, that does not mean you have to get butterflies every time you see his face.'**_

Hermione rubbed her aching temples.

_**'Calm down,' **_she ordered herself,_** 'Don't forget all the horrible stuff he's done in the past....'**_

Her mind drew a blank at the thought.

What exactly had he done that was so horrible?

_**'Well that time he...he ordered me to get him food...' **_she thought triumphantly.

_**'Oh like the way a servant supposed get food for her Master?'** the irritating voice in her head retorted._

Hermione gritted her teeth.

_**'Well the way he talks to me.'**_

_**'You mean how he calls you his servant? Maybe its cause you are one.'**_

Hermione shook her head in irritation and began walking back towards the Gryffindor common room.

_**'Maybe the reason it irritates you so much is not that he orders you around, but that you want him to treat you the same way he treats the other girls around him?'**_

"Shut up!" she finally screamed.

She heard a chuckle behind her and her she felt herself freeze on the spot.

"Talking to yourself again?"

Hermione winced before quickly composing herself and turning around.

Her Master stood leaning against the broom in his hand and smiled at her. Harry stood beside him watching her warily.

She didn't know how to respond so she just smiled like an idiot.

This only made her Master laugh harder, that was until Harry jabbed him in the ribs. He stopped laughing and picked up his broom to walk past her.

"Um," she said before she even knew what she wanted to say.

Her Master turned to look at her.

"Yeah?" he looked at her curiously.

"Will you be in the library this evening?" she managed to say in a shaky voice, she wasn't sure why but Harry's gaze made her nervous.

"Not tonight, tomorrow maybe," he looked at her a moment before continuing, "You should get some rest Hermione."

Harry coughed loudly.

"Or...whatever it is you servant's do," Her Master added before they both turned and walked away.

"Bye," she said weakly.

She sighed and leaned against the cold stone wall.

"Seriously, what is going on with me?"

* * *

_**L,**_

_**'I just discovered something really important. But for now I'm going to keep it a secret.'**_

_**H.**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**H,**_

_**Seriously Hermione, what are you up to? I'm really worried now? If you need help, I will help you, just don't do anything dangerous. **__**PLEASE**__**!**_

_**L.**_

_**

* * *

**_

Hermione chewed on the end of her quill.

Her eyes wondered around the room. She had returned to the place that she had been with her Master the other night. She was determined to remember what had happened.

"We were sitting here eating, and he was..."

An image of her Master smiling as he spoke to her flashed before her eyes. She remembered thinking that the crinkles around his eyes made him look...

"Concentrate," she chided herself.

Standing up she paced the room.

_**'He was sad.'**_

She stopped in her pacing.

'That's right, he had looked so sad...but why?'

She bit her lip and scrunched her eyes together.

Nothing. No memories flashing before her eyes, no sudden realisation of how she had ended up in his dorm room, with his cloak on her.

Hermione wiped the sweat from her brow and let out an irritated groan.

She threw aside the curtain that hid the doorway to the supply closet, causing some house elves to jump back in fright but otherwise they continued as though everything were normal. She looked at the elves. Maybe they could tell her what happened last night.

_**'No, forget it,**_' she thought to herself remembering how Dobby had reacted when she had asked him how her Master had hurt himself.

She bit her lip trying to think of what to do and when she came up with nothing she sighed and walked out of the kitchens.

_**'Maybe I was just really tired, I probably just fell straight to sleep the instant we got back to the common room.'**_

It wouldn't be the first time that it had happened to her.

She was just about to enter the entrance hall when she saw red flash across her field of vision. Her Master was running across the hall and he looked disheveled and panicked.

She instantly followed him as he descended the staircase down to the dungeons.

"You're late Weasel!"

Hermione's heart stopped and she felt her body turn to ice.

**_'Malfoy,' _**she realised.

"What? No smart come back?" another voice said.

"...Sorry I'm late," she heard her Master say through gritted teeth.

"That's a good little Weasel," Malfoy replied and she practically hear the smugness in his voice.

"We still have some other students to question," Malfoy continued, "The inquisitorial squad is very busy, but I'm sure we can fit you in. Why don't you go wait in one of the classrooms."

"I know what to do," her Master spat back.

"Tsk tsk," Malfoy replied, "Just thought I would help you, we all know what _**horrible memories**_ you Gryffindors have."

Hermione felt a shiver run up her spine at his words.

"Run along little Gryffindor and hide," another voice said, this one belonged to a girl, "I will enjoy watching you squirm beneath me later."

There was a loud raucous laughter and Hermione felt her stomach turn as tears sprang to her eyes.

_**'What the hell was going on?'**_

She heard footsteps and she wanted to move, she begged her feet to unfreeze from their place on the steps but she couldn't. A thousand thoughts and questions rushed through her mind.

And that's how he found her.

He stepped up and looked her straight in the eyes.

His eyes.

Merlin, she thought the world was going to fall apart. His eyes - his brilliant bright blue eyes, so full of life and happiness...they were staring back at her devoid of all emotion.

He placed a hand over her mouth and dragged her up the steps with him.

She wanted to speak but even if his hand wasn't covering her mouth she doubted that she could form any coherent thought at that moment.

He dragged her across the entrance hall and they ascended the steps. Any more than that she couldn't remember. It was a blur in front of her eyes.

All she knew was that some time after they were both standing in dark small room. Their breathing the only sound filling the room. She saw him swish his wand at the door. She didn't know what he did but when he finished he turned and leant against the door. He looked at her through the darkness before he slowly sank to the floor, his face hidden behind his hands.

The silence felt like an eternity, and yet she felt as though this was the closest that they had ever been in their lives, physically and emotionally.

"What are you doing?" she somehow found her voice filling the void.

"I should be asking you that," he said in reply still not looking at her, "You just couldn't leave well enough alone could you?"

"What are they doing to you?" she questioned him anger in her voice.

She didn't know who she was angry at, him or them or the whole corrupt institution but she knew she was angry.

"What - are - they -"

"What do you think they are doing?" he spat back at her, turning so his back faced her, "Why else do you think that he..."

"He? Malfoy? What do you mean?"

She heard him let out an angry cry before punching the wall.

"Merlin, you are so frustrating!"

"Me?!" she shouted back, "You're the one who drugged me and took me back to your dorm room to do who knows what to me."

She felt her face heat up as she finally spoke the words, the suspicion that she had carried with her the past few days.

"What the bleedin' hell are you harpin' on about?" he did turn to look at her now, his face completely confused.

"Don't act all innocent," she huffed, "We ate dinner in the kitchens and you were all nice and had this sad puppy-eye routine going on and the next thing I know I wake up in your dorm room."

He was staring at her open mouthed now.

"Admit it!" she pointed at him accusingly, feeling like an idiot when he rolled his eyes at her.

"YOU - ARE - MENTAL!" he screamed back swatting her hand away.

"Why the hell would I do anything with you?!"

_**'Ouch, that hurt,' **_she thought to herself, her ego was slightly bruised by that.

"Yes, we ate dinner, you were feeling tired so we went back to the Gryffindor tower. I tried to get you to lay down on the couch in the common room but you wouldn't let go of me," Her Master explained.

Her memory went back to that night.

**_"Okay let go now," Her Master said trying to pull her fingers from around his neck._**

**_"Mmmm...just a little longer..." she said between snores._**

"Then I had to carry you up the stairs and finally with your friend, Lavenders, help was able to get you to let go of me," her Master continued as Hermione felt her face heat up, "We were both exhausted so I just let you sleep on the floor of the dorm room. I didn't do anything to you."

He shook his head and leaned back against the door.

"Where are we anyway?" she questioned him after a few minutes silence. She felt like an even bigger idiot than she usually did and she wanted desperately to change the subject.

"Storage cupboard of the D.A.D.A classroom," he answered her, "This is where they always take me anyway."

Before she could ask him what he meant, he continued.

"Is that why you've been following me?" he said in exasperation, "You thought I did something to you?"

"Oh, you noticed that," she said in barely a whisper.

"Honestly Hermione, you were always so paranoid about..."

He trailed off and she saw his face go red.

"I mean...you should learn your position, how dare you follow your Master around like this?!"

She continued to stare at him.

His eyes avoided hers and when he turned his face away from her she noticed the scars on his neck.

"What's happened to you?" she said slowly crawling over to sit beside him.

He continued to stare at the wall stubbornly.

She leaned closer. The scars on his neck they looked like long burn marks, almost invisible but when the light cast shadows on his face the scars jumped out at her.

Tentatively she reached over and traced a scar with her fingers.

She felt him shiver from beneath her. He grabbed her hand and stilled her movements.

"Don't," was all he said but his eyes, they now looked at her filled with...

Her mind couldn't even comprehend what she saw reflected in his eyes so she pushed it aside and looked away.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"I have to go now," he said his voice suddenly husky as she sat close to him in the small room, "They'll wonder where I am."

They were so close. His lips...if she moved her head she would...

"What are you doing with them?" she asked him quickly and moving away from him slightly.

He dropped their joined hand to his lap.

"I - I do what I must," was all he said.

She looked up at him but she quickly looked away. She moved her fingers slightly and he must have realised that they were still clasped within his because he instantly released her.

"Stay here, till its safe," he said.

He stood up and took his wand from his pocket, she opened her mouth preparing to argue but he turned to look at her.

"That was an order."

She gritted her teeth and nodded her head.

He opened the door and she heard the girl from before speak. She tried to look past him to see them but he quickly shut the door behind him, the lock making a clicking sound. She peered through the keyhole. There was a girl with long dark hair, she had a smirk on her face and was twisting her wand between her fingers. Some more people moved into the room, Malfoy was the last to enter. He had a bored look on his face as the girl skipped over to her Master.

"There's my little dog," the girl said gleefully pulling on her Master's tie so that they were eye to eye, "Shall we get on with the questioning?"

"Crucio!"

Hermione placed her hands over her ears as her Master's scream echoed within the classroom.

As tears trailed down her face she made a silent vow.

* * *

_L,_

_**'Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm supposed to do. I swear to you, I will not rest until I bring this corrupt organisation down. I won't be that weak little servant girl anymore. The Witch is Back!'**_

_**H.**_

* * *


	8. Enraged by things unsaid

**AN: Thanks for the help everyone, but since nothing works I hope its okay as it is. **

**I have to use ** instead of strikethroughs, so any text with ** around it will mean that it's supposed to have strikethroughs.**

**Thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 7 - Enraged by things unsaid**

**_*Hermione*_**

**_*Hermione please...*_**

_

* * *

_

**H.**

**Good luck.**

**L.**

* * *

Hermione scrunched her face up in anger as the screams echoed in the small closet. She felt her hands clench and her fingernails dug into her palms.

Her eyes snapped open.

'_**Wand**_.'

She reached inside her skirt pocket and felt the power surge through her as she stared down at the piece of wood in her hand. She hardly ever used it and yet - and yet it felt so familiar.

_**'Are you a witch or aren't you?'**_

Hermione gasped and dropped the wand to the floor. She backed away and stared at the wand.

"Ugh..." she gripped her temples when a sharp pain ripped through her head.

'Get a grip!' she ordered herself, 'Ro - your master is hurt, concentrate.'

She took a moment to compose herself before reaching for the wand slowly. She could see her fingers shaking as she picked up the piece of wood.

She took a deep breath and willed her mind to work.

**'What spell?' **she wondered to herself, she felt a shiver of electric run up her wrists.

She briefly wondered what would happen to her if she disobeyed a direct order. An image of Parvati screaming in pain flashed before her eyes but she quickly pushed it aside.

**'No time for fear,' **she said to herself tapping her wand absent-mindedly to her head.

**'How can I get out of here?'** she looked around the room but other than a few odd brooms and buckets there was nothing really that she could use to force herself out of the room.

'**Stay until its safe, that's what he had said,**' Hermione thought back to her master's face.

She strained her ears but could only hear faint voices every now and then she heard a groan of pain.

She gulped and looked at the door.

**'All...Allo - argh! What was the spell?!'** she cursed as another sharp pain shot through her body.

**_'That's it we're doomed!'_**

**_'Honeslty, move! Alohomora!'_**

Hermione eyes widened but as quickly as the image had appeared it had dissapered once more. She tried to hold onto it, she had remembered...she had...

She furrowed her brow.

What had she done again? Who was she talking to?

A noise from beyond the door made her body suddenly feel like ice.

It was a disturbing cracking and crunching sound, she hoped that it wasn't what she thought it was, the sound of bones cracking. She felt herself growing angry once more.

**_'Okay, here goes nothing.'_**

"ALOHOMORA!"

The tip of her wand glowed. It worked! She was going to save her Master.

Hermione felt her legs lifted off the floor. She was flying.

**'This is bad.'**

That was the last thought she had before she felt her body thrown across the room and hit the stone wall just like a rag doll.

She fell to the cold floor and struggled to breathe. She felt warm liquid ooze form her mouth as her head dropped to the floor once more and she felt her vision blur.

* * *

Hermione awoke with a start and sat up in bed.

She felt her mouth drop.

"What...where...?"

She was lying on a large King size bed surrounded by fluffy pillows. Her eyes zoomed around the strange room. She felt like she was in her parent's French summer home, but it was smaller - cozier.

French doors opened to a small balcony and she could see a strange country side rolling into the horizon but she could also hear the sound of waves crashing. She was near the ocean, that much she knew.

"What on earth?" she thought aloud as she pushed the covers aside and began to move around the room.

She caught her reflection in the mirror, she looked fine, if a little pale. Something white caught her eye.

She reached up and touched her head where a bandage stuck out from beneath her bushy hair.

She stopped when she heard a noise from behind the door. It sounded like someone was moving around, cutting and chopping. She took a deep breath and sighed in contentment. That smell.

Someone was cooking, and oh it smelt delicious. She hadn't even realised she was hungry. How long had it been since she had last ate? In fact, what had she been doing before she woke up here?

She took another step towards the door but her legs began to wobble.

"WHOA!" she heard herself say as she fell to the floor. She had grabbed onto the dresser as she fell and a few items fell to the floor with her.

Instantly the door flew open.

"Hermione you alright?"

She felt herself lifted up off the floor. She leaned against the person for a moment as she tried to regain her composure but that all flew out window when she stared up at the person in front of her.

"Hermione?" Ron said looking down at her in concern.

Her reached up and touched her forehead.

He sighed before helping her back to the bed.

"You are so frustrating," he said in an irritated tone, "I told you not to move around, and what do you do?"

Hermione stared open mouthed as he tucked her into bed and placed a few more pillows behind her so that she could sit upright.

"Lunch will be ready soon," he explained squeezing her hand before walking away to pick up the items on the floor.

She couldn't speak, couldn't form words - in fact she wasn't even sure she was breathing.

Her Master stood back up and walked towards her once more. He was wearing muggle clothes. A red T-shirt and jeans, which were partially covered by an apron. A frilly yellow and white apron.

"Here you go," he handed her a book and she took it without question.

She gasped when he suddenly placed a hand under her chin and pushed her face up to look at him.

"You sure you're alright? You look..." He frowned and cocked his head to the side.

"W-w-water..." she stammered pushing his hand away.

"Oh, sure," he said before walking out of the room, "But no more walking for today."

She nodded her head as he closed the door behind him.

Unable to think she looked down at the book in her hands.

"Hogwarts, a History," she read aloud.

As the words left her mouth she felt a sudden warmth wrap itself around her.

She jumped when her master walked back into the room with a tray. A jug of water with ice and lime slices jingling against the glass as he walked towards her.

"You hardly cracked it," he said in surprise placing the tray on the bedside table and pouring her a glass.

He reached over and took the book from her as she took the glass of water from his hands.

He pulled over a nearby chair and placed his legs on the bed as he opened the book.

"Could it be that you're sick of this book?" he said with a smirk, "Has the world spun backwards on its axis as well?"

She felt herself roll her eyes at him before drinking some of the water.

"Another book then?" he said swinging his legs off the bed and walking in front of her where there were some sliding doors, which she hadn't even noticed were there before.

He slid the doors aside and Hermione's eyes widened.

It was a whole wall of books.

It was - fantastic!

"Hmm," she heard her Master say as he returned 'Hogwarts, a History' to one of the shelves and began looking at some other books, "What do you feel like today? Since nothing to do with Hogwarts, how about a muggle book?"

He looked over his shoulder at her and she nodded her head like an idiot, still in a state of shock.

"Ah, here's one you always liked," he said reaching over and picking a book off one of the top shelves.

He walked over to her and placed the book in her hands.

"The Princess Bride," she said before taking a sharp intake of breath.

She looked up at him.

"I gotta finish making lunch, you'll be okay till then?" he asked her.

She nodded her head still unsure how to respond.

He chuckled.

"You and your books, every time you read one its like you're meeting a long lost family member," he said as he walked out of the room.

He left the door open this time however and she watched as he walked down a flight of stairs before disappearing from her field of vision.

She looked down at the book in her hands.

"It is one of my favourites...but how did he...?"

She felt her head ache once more and she laid back into the pillows and closed her eyes.

**'I must be dreaming.'**

* * *

Hermione felt hands tenderly touching her face. She heard herself sigh.

She didn't care where she was or whether she was just hallucinating, she wanted to stay here forever.

"Hermione..."

"Mmmm..." she replied a smile on her face.

"Think she may have a concussion," an unfamilar voice said.

"Her head, Merlin," Ron's voice cut through the haze and Hermione slowly opened her eyes.

"Hey," she said groggily, but she couldn't seem to control her mouth and it sounded more like "Mhwaye-ugh..."

"Stay still," Ron ordered her.

She cringed expecting the familiar sting from her wrists but nothing happened.

She would have considered that strange but her mind was still back in the cozy room by the sea.

Slowly - very slowly - that room faded away and she was once more in the small closet, faces floating above her.

Ron's hand touched her face once more.

She looked into his eyes as his face swam into view.

"Hi," she said hoarsely, glad to hear words come out of her mouth this time rather than gibberish.

"Hi," he replied his face watching her with concern.

"You okay?" she said after a moment, remembering the events before her spell backfired and threw here across the room, "Did they hurt you..."

She felt her eyelids droop down.

"So...tired..."

"Come on lets get you out of here," Ron said helping up from the floor.

"Ron, I think I better - " Hermione felt someone else grab her arms and heave her up from the floor.

She realised that Harry Potter was the unfamiliar voice she had heard earlier.

"Let's go," Harry said as they walked out of the room.

It was very dark as they walked along the corridors, and she was still disorientated but she managed to look to her side where her Master was walking beside her.

"You okay?" she said.

He looked at her in surprise. She felt her cheeks heat up under his scrutiny. Her head was playing tricks on her, letting her fantasise about her Master and now she was acting like - like...

"I'm fine," he replied looking away from her.

She nodded her head but instantly regretted it as the pain shot through her.

"She used an unforgivable on you," she said slowly, her memories slowly returning, "you -"

"If you ask me if I'm okay one more time, I'm going to lose it 'Mione."

"Sorry," she replied letting her head rest on Harry's shoulder.

"We're almost there," Ron replied after a moment's silence.

"Kay," she yawned back.

What felt like second later she felt herself being placed into a bed, not as soft or warm as the one beside the sea but still, it was nice. Her head already felt better, which was probably due to the potion the nurse had forced her to drink.

"She'll be fine, maybe a few days rest would do her good though," she heard the nurse say as she drifted off to sleep.

"Now let's see the damage."

"I'm fine," Ron replied frustrated now.

"Sit!"

She heard her Master groan before the sound of scrapping chairs could be heard.

Someone took a sharp intake of breath.

"This - is - not - fine," Harry said through clenched teeth.

She could hear the sound of waves crashing again but she fought it for a moment, she wanted to hear this.

"At least 'Mione's fine - ugh Merlin can't you be gentler!"

Music drifted around her, someone was playing chords on a guitar.

The voices around her were getting fainter.

"...by the way, "Mione"? You're lucky she didn't catch on to that."

* * *

"I could take you outside today if you'd like."

Hermione started as she looked into Ron's deep blue eyes.

He was holding a guitar in his hands and watching her carefully.

"What's wrong, you seem miles away."

"I - yeah I was," she heard herself reply, her eyes quickly darting around the familiar sea room, "That would be nice, I'd like to lie on the beach for a while."

"I'll get everything prepared," Ron said standing from his seat at the foot of the bed.

And then he did something that made her heart jump into her throat.

He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Be right back 'Mione."

And then he was gone.

Hermione felt her cheeks heat up. She felt the place where his lips had touched her.

"Wow," she whispered as she felt a shiver run up her spine.

"If this is a dream, I don't mind staying here for a little while longer."

Ron returned a few minutes later, with a bowl of water and washcloth in his hands.

She looked at him quizically.

"Thought you'd like to wash your face before we leave," he explained placing the bowl on the bedside table.

She watched him place the washcloth into the bowl and soak and rinse the towel.

"Do I look horrible?" she questioned him.

His hands stilled and he stared at the washcloth in his hands.

She saw his hands and body tense before he replied.

"Not at all," he said softly.

She didn't think he was lying to her and yet his reaction had been strange.

She felt a shiver run through her when he touched her face so that she was looking directly at him. He began to slowly and carefully wipe her face. The wash cloth was warm and soothing on her skin. She took a deep breath and raised her eyes to look at him.

The instant their eyes met his hand stilled.

She felt her heart race.

"R-Ron-Ronald," she stammered still unsure as to whether she was allowed to call him by his first name.

That seemed to shake him from his inner thoughts and he stood up from his seat on the bed. He handed the cloth to her and stepped back. His face had gone completely red.

"I - I have to ...." and he was out the door.

She watched him leave in astonishment.

But suddenly she felt her chest tighten. The way he had looked at her - it was - it was wrong.

'Why?' she heard a voice inside her head ask.

'I don't know...' was all she was able to answer back.

* * *

**_*Hermione*_**

**_*Hermione I...*_**

**_*Hermione I have to tell you...*_**

_

* * *

_

Ron scrunched up the letter and shoved it into trouser pocket. He moved over to look at her.

She couldn't tell how long it had been since she had been taken to the infirmary, and everything was still so hazy that she couldn't tell when she was awake and when she was dreaming. The room was dark, so it was still night. Her eyes refused to open fully, she felt so tired, but she was able to see Ron's dark figure standing over her.

Ron sighed and knelt down beside the bed. He reached over and held her small hand in his own. Her eyelids felt so heavy. Slowly they closed and she felt herself surrounded in darkness once more.

"I'm sorry," Ron whispered into the night air, his voice the only sound in the infirmary, "I failed you again."

He let his head drop to the bed.

"I just wish you'd remember me, even for a second," his voice broke as he spoke once more, "I miss you Hermione."

* * *

Hermione looked up from her book.

"Did you say something?" she asked Ron, who was looking at a seashell in his hands curiously.

She felt her lips curl up in a smile as she watched him. He looked like a little kid.

"No," he replied simply before looking back at the shell.

They had spent the afternoon just sunbathing on the beach. She bit her lip in embarrassment as she remembered him pushing her down towards the shore in her wheelchair. She couldn't remember why but her legs felt weak, useless and unwilling to respond to her commands. She had felt tears stinging her eyes but Ron had distracted her with idle talk of what had been happening with his family and with Harry.

She had watched him as he carefully laid out two towels for them to sit on, and a large parosol for her to sit under.

Her heart really did leap from her chest when he had picked her up and placed her on the towel, even if it was for a moment, she felt so secure, so safe and - loved - in his arms. Once more he had handed her a beloved book before he laid down on the towel beside her. She had watched him for - she didn't know how long - his eyes slowly closing as he fell to sleep beside her. His red hair every now and then falling across his face by the sea breeze. She had after a moments hesitation pushed some hair from his face, he had instantly opened his eyes and looked up at her.

They remained perfectly still, just watching each other. She couldn't understand the strange emotions that flashed in his eyes, nor the emotions she felt rising within her. When it became uncomfortable she looked away and turned back to read her book.

After a few moments silence Ron had stood up and began walking along the shore line, picking up odd bits and pieces of coral and seashells. He came back to her sometime later and they looked at the collection he had amassed. She soon became bored and returned to her book. It had been a few hours now and he was still looking a the shells in his hands.

"What's so fascinating?" she wondered aloud, placing her book down on the towel and shifting towards him.

He cautioned her with his eyes when he saw her moving. She rolled her eyes and stilled her movements.

"Nothing really," he said dismissively placing the seashells on the sand before leaning back on his palms and watching as the waves crashed into the shoreline.

"Feel like a swim?" he asked her after a moments silence.

"Go ahead," she replied, "But as you know I can't move."

He smiled as though she had just issued a challenge.

"What are you chicken?"

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Don't - you -dare," she said sternly begining to understand what he was implying. She could just picture him picking her up and dropping her into the water while she screamed in protest.

He raised his eyebrows at her and pretended to look innocent.

"If that's what you want," he said before standing up from the sand.

She watched him cautiously.

He began to walk towards the surf.

Hermione gasped, loud enough that he stopped to look at her. He smirked before taking his shirt off and throwing it on the sand and running into the water.

She felt her lips purse.

"You are infuriating!" she screamed at him, her voice carrying across the empty shoreline.

She saw him stand up fully, her eyes widening as she watched him. She looked away as he approached her, her cheeks felt like they were on fire.

"Did you say something?"

"Fine," she said through gritted teeth.

"Sorry, what was that?" he leaned over, placing his hands on his knees as he watched her carefully.

"Yes, I do want to go into the water," she said clearly, "Please - help - me."

"See, how easy was that?" he replied, leaning over to help her up, "I don't understand why you still don't want to ask for my help."

"Oh just shut up," she grumbled as she limped down towards the water.

She heard him chuckle but other than that, he didn't respond.

She shivered slightly as Ron slowly lowered her into the water. Once she was floating on her own he released her, she tried not to grab onto his arm in panic. It was strange to feel so helpless, her body felt so stiff and her head felt all jumbled. For the life of her she couldn't remember what she was doing here, how they both had ended up here, and why they were completely alone and isolated. They had been there for almost the whole day and she hadn't seen one person either on the cliffs or on the beach.

She lowered her head into the water and closed her eyes, listening to the sound of the water around her.

Suddenly she was dragged under the water.

Panicked gripped her and she flung her arms around in panic.

Arms encircled her and she felt herself pulled to the surface of the water.

Ron was laughing.

"What - did - you - do!" she demanded.

"I didn't do anything," he said holding his hands up innocently, "a massive wave just pushed you under the water."

She eyed him suspiciously.

"Alright then," she said slowly, "Then why are you laughing."

"The look on your face," he replied with a smirk on his face.

"What do you mean?"

"We're only knee deep in water," he chuckled, "You totally freaked out."

Hermione felt embarrased and angry.

How dare he make fun of her!

Without thinking she splashed a large amount of seawater into the laughing redhead's face.

He coughed and sputtered and fell back into the water slighlty startled.

She smirked at him triumphantly.

He was sitting in the water looking at her with narrowed eyes.

"So it's a battle you want," he said before grinning.

Her eyes widened when he lunged towards her.

Thank Merlin she could move more easily in the water than on land, she swam away from him.

Certain she had escaped his grasp she turned around. He was no where to be seen. She instantly looked around her in the water. It would be just like him to sneak attack her.

"Boo!"

Hermione let out a scream.

Ron's hands covered her mouth instantly,

"Shhhh," he said into her ear, she felt tingles up her back as he leant into her, "Just me."

Of course it was him. The soothing tone in his voice, he really thought he had frightened her.

He was worried about her. She pulled his hand away from her mouth and turned around in the water to look at him. Her eyes instantly looked down, despite the cold water, she was certain her face would become hot and red if she looked at him.

Instead she focused on the water before slowly gathering her courage to raise her eyes to look at him. She saw his chest rise and fall as the water droplets fell down his pale and freckled skin.

They were so close.

She realised that they were still holding hands beneath the water. His other hand slowly rose from the water and touched her arm. She felt her heart race inside her chest and she felt her throat tighten, unable to breath or think.

His fingers trailed softly up her arm and she felt her skin burn where he touched her.

"Hermione..." he said slowly.

She couldn't bring herself to look up at him. She felt faint.

And then she collapsed.

* * *

**AN: Much more backstory next chapter. I hope you liked this chapter. **


	9. Empty Beds

**AN: PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!**

* * *

**Chapter 8 - Empty Beds**

Ron gritted his teeth.

Crabbe had just pushed him against the wall, and a wand was pointed at his throat.

"Funny thing is Weasel," Ron narrowed his eyes at the blonde standing before him, "we never see your little mudblood do any real work."

Malfoy began pacing the corridor, every now and then a student walked past, a horrified look on their faces but they quickly turned to look in the opposite direction before scurrying off.

"It'd almost seem as though, oh I don't know, you were protecting the little leech."

Ron felt his blood begin to race and his face felt as though it were on fire.

**'I will kill this little -'**

"But that couldn't be, now could it?" Malfoy continued, pretending to be ignorant of the reaction he was getting from the red head, "We all know the consequences of protecting mudbloods don't we?"

Malfoy spun around and looked directly at Ron.

"You're not a mudblood sympathiser are you?"

Ron simply glared at Malfoy.

He wanted to spit in his face, no he wanted to pummel him into the ground but instead he scrunched up his eyes and pretended not to hear what he was saying.

That was a mistake.

Pain shattered across his face.

He choked and spat out the blood. Goyle or Crabbe, one of Malfoy's blockheads had punched him in the face. He tried not to groan but it was very difficult.

"You moron," Malfoy said in annoyance, "He won't be able to talk now."

Ron glared up at Malfoy. He probably could talk but he wasn't going to tell Malfoy that.

"I have class to get to," Malfoy continued before kicking Ron in the stomach.

When Ron fell to the floor, Malfoy grinded Ron's face into the stone floor with his shoe.

"Ugh, now my shoes are dirty," Malfoy said as he stepped back, "You two take care of him."

With those words he turned and walked down the corridor.

Something crashed into his back and Ron shouted out in pain, not really caring anymore who heard him.

"Stupefy!"

"Wha -?"

"Petrificus Totalus!"

Ron felt his eyes roll backwards.

Small hands reached up and held his head softly.

He smiled up at them.

"Hey guys," he tried to say but considering how badly his face hurt he wasn't entirely sure what he had ended up saying to them.

He felt hot tears fall onto his face.

"Geez Hermione, is this the thanks I get, you dripping all over me?" he said to the bushy girl who held his head in her lap.

"You are so stupid," she sobbed before hugging him.

"Ow, pain, lots of pain," he said as her fingers felt like fire on his skin.

"Oh, sorry," Hermione said instantly releasing him.

"Why does he always target you?" Harry said stepping towards him and giving him a hand to stand up.

"Because he knows Ron will take the bait," Hermione said in exasperation, "Why can't you control that temper of yours."

"Excuse me," Ron said taking a moment to spit out some blood causing Hermione to give him a disgusted look, he simply smiled in response.

Hermione rolled her eyes but continued to help him walk towards the infirmary.

"You're insufferable," Hermione said after a few minutes silence.

"Well next time I'll know to tell them the truth won't I? Merlin's beard you are so irritating, if you want to leave Hogwar-"

"Who said I wanted to leave!" she shouted back.

He winced, she had just shouted straight into his ear.

"I'm just saying," Hermione said but she seemed unable to continue her sentence.

"What?" he said in an annoyed tone, "What? You think I like getting the sh-"

"Ronald," she said in a warning tone and he rolled his eyes at her before looking over at Harry.

"Give us a hand here Harry."

"Look Hermione, its true, Ron was just protecting you."

Ron smirked at Hermione but groaned and quickly rearranged his face when it began to sting.

"But Hermione's got a point too," Harry continued, "Malfoy only attacks you cause he knows he's more likely to get a reaction out of you than either of us."

He ignored the smug look on Hermione's face.

"Fine, fine," he said in exasperation, "I'll try to control my temper."

"Good," Hermione said in a satisfied tone causing Ron to glare at her.

She simply glared back.

"Don't know why I bother," Ron said under his breath to himself.

"Nor I," Hermione retorted, "By the way -"

"Oh what is it now?" He said genuinely fed-up now.

"Give it a rest for a few minutes would you Hermione," Harry cut in.

"I wasn't going to pick a fight," she retorted, "I was going to say, Parvarti found my wand in your desk drawer."

"Oh," both boys replied.

"Yeah, so we should find a better place to store it," she continued as they approached the infirmary.

"We also need to find out how to get past Fluffy as well," Harry whispered as they entered the infirmary.

"Oh I found a great book in the library," Hermione said excitedly.

"Easy Hermione," Ron said rubbing his ears.

She was getting quite fed up with his attitude so she let Harry help Ron into the bed without her help. But as she stepped back and looked at the red head she felt her chest and throat tighten.

"Oh don't do that Hermione," Ron said upon seeing her face, "you're already weird-looking enough,don't make it worse by scrunching your face up like that."

Hermione jumped towards him but Harry stopped her.

"He's just been beaten up by Crabbe and Goyle, give him some slack yeah?"

"Crabbe and Goyle are puppy dogs compared to what I'm going to do to him!"

Ron stared at her before bursting into laughter.

After a moment, despite herself she felt her lips begin to twitch as Harry joined in.

"You boys," she said throwing her arms up in despair.

* * *

Hermione gasped and sat bolt upright.

She took a moment to catch her breath as she looked around at her surroundings.

Moonlight shone through the small window above her and she could see the room around her.

She was lying on a single bed, that was pushed against a wall of the room. It looked like a very small and modest room, the only other furniture was a desk in -

She froze.

There was someone in the room.

"Who - Who is that?" she said reaching across to find her wand.

She winced in pain, unable to extend her hand out fully.

She couldn't find her wand, but she still pushed aside the bedsheet.

It was only a second but she swore she had seen something move in the corner of the room. She took a deep breath and pushed herself off the bed.

Her legs felt like jelly and she began to wobble before falling back onto the bed. She looked around her desperately, trying to find something she could use to defend herself.

She felt something hard at the foot of the bed, she shuffled her way to the end of the bed and grabbed onto it. It was a book, a hardcover book, heavy enough that if she timed it right would stop anyone attacking her, even if only for a moment.

She held the book to her chest, and grabbed the bed post beside her to stable herself as she stood up. She was shocked at how tired she was just from the effort it took to stand up, she kept her eyes on the corner of the room, where she had seen the movement. She swallowed and steadied her breathing. She took a tentative step forwards, she made it one, two steps before her feet gave way and she tumbled forwards.

She held the book out in front of her, if anything it would be a shield.

"Ow," she cried when her arm hit something hard, as her chest fell onto something soft.

She reached around and found a lamp near her hand. She flicked it on and the room flooded with light.

Her eyes instantly went to the corner of the room.

Nothing.

She looked down and realised she had fallen over a dressing table and chair.

She got up slowly and sat down on chair. She looked around the small room just in case but she was definitely alone in the room.

She sighed.

She felt like a complete idiot.

She wiped the sweet off her face and looked up.

Then she screamed.

Something crashed outside the room before the door was practically torn from its hinges.

"Hermione!"

"HERMIONE!"

Hermione continued to scream, she couldn't stop, she couldn't think.

Someone grabbed her and pulled her away from the sight in front of her.

"HERMIONE! HERMIONE SHUT UP!"

The person began shaking her.

She pushed and hit the person.

Tears fell fast and hot down her face.

"Hermione! It's me! Look!"

Hermione shook her head, turning to look at the horrible thing in front of her.

She wanted to throw up, she felt sick.

"Ron - its' me Ron, Ronald Weasley, remember?"

Hermione felt the person grab her face forcing her to look them in the eyes.

"Shhhhh," he said when she looked into his blue eyes, "It's okay, everything's okay now."

Hermione hand rose to touch his face.

"Ron?" she said slowly.

He nodded and she was instantly in his arms sobbing into his chest.

"I know," he said holding her to him tightly, "It's okay."

She shook her head.

"No it's not," she sobbed clenching his shirt in her fists.

"Yes it is, because you're Hermione Granger," he whispered to her, "the brightest witch of our age."

She didn't say anything in response, she just held onto him as he lifted her up and helped her back into bed.

"Don't -" she grabbed his hand just as he began to step away from the bed.

"I'll be right back," he reassured her, "I just gotta take care of something."

She hesitated but nodded her head before releasing his hand.

She watched as he walked over to the corner of the room.

He placed a towel over the mirror before taking it with him from the room.

Hermione turned and hugged the blankets to her tightly.

"That wasn't me," she said when she heard him return to the room.

She felt the bed shift as he sat down beside her.

"No it isn't," he replied.

She felt his hand on her head.

"I'll be here till you fall asleep."

Hermione nodded and closed her eyes.

A few times she awoke in shock as the image flashed before her eyes once more.

Each time she felt Ron beside her whispering soothing words, lulling her back to sleep.

* * *

She wasn't sure what time or what day it was when she next woke up. She did remember where they were at least.

Shell Cottage.

The Weasley's hardly ever used the cottage by the sea and when they had first arrived it had been in terrible condition. But over the last few days - weeks - months, she frowned when she realised she couldn't remember how long they had been here. All she knew was that she had heard Ron and a few other people, muggle builders, Ron had told her, moving furniture and fixing up the house.

Today, the light was streaming through the window, she couldn't hear the ocean but she did know that they were near the beach.

"And what do you plan on doing once I'm gone?"

Hermione turned her head to look at the door, it was open slightly and she could see an old woman sitting in an arm chair looking at someone in the kitchen.

**_'Mrs Figg,'_ **her memory provided.

"We'll be fine," she heard Ron reply, "The muggles are done fixing up most of the house and I can do the rest on my own."

She saw him walk up to the old lady to give her a cup of tea.

"I've been studying those muggle builders, and I think i know how to do everything else on my own."

Mrs Figg didn't say anything she just sipped her tea and watched Ron carefully.

"Hermione's better too, I think I may convince her to take the room upstairs," Ron continued, "Its a much nicer view than the room she's currently in.

"Look here boy," Mrs Figg placed the cup of tea down on the table with more force than was necessary, "Don't avoid my eyes like that. You know what I mean when I say, what are you going to do when I'm gone?"

She thought she heard something drop onto the kitchen counter,

"What are you -"

"I can't stay here forever," Mrs Figg cut Ron off, "It's been fine with me here to wash and clothe the girl for the past few months but what now? She may be able to get up but she's still not able to shower or bathe on her own."

She could practically feel the heat radiating from Ron from where she lay in the bed.

"W-W-Wh -"

She saw Mrs Figg narrow her eyes at Ron.

"What exactly is your relationship with the girl?"

"F-Friends! Friends! definately just friends."

She heard Mrs Figg snort.

"Listen here sonny, I've had plenty of '_**friends**_' in my day too and that is not something that either her parents or yours will be okay with."

"Well what do you suggest?" She could hear the anger in Ron's voice.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

**_'Honestly that Weasley temper.'_**

"Magic's out of the question," Ron continued, "If we use magic they'll be able to track us."

"I know, I know," Mrs Figg said in annoyance, "Well why not get one of those muggles to take care of her? Or I could ask one of those wizarding families in Tinworth to-"

"No!" Ron said instantly, Hermione jumped when she heard him slam down his hands on the kitchen counter.

"It was bad enough with those builders, and I wouldn't have hired them if we could have avoided it. I won't have anymore people here, I don't like the way they..."

Hermione swallowed and strained to hear the rest of the sentence.

"The stares and questions?" Mrs Figg offered.

"Yes," Ron replied after a long pause, "She is my - my responsibility, I will take care of her."

"That is not proper! and I will not allow it!"

"Well you can go hang for all I care."

"RON!" she heard herself say before she could stop herself.

Ron was at her door in an instant.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

Hermione saw Mrs Figg walk towards the room.

"It's okay," Hermione said when Mrs Figg and Ron entered the room, "I will handle it."

* * *

Hermione giggled.

"This is hardly funny," Ron said in annoyance.

"Oh I disagree, I think its very funny."

Hermione looked at the redhead in front of her before another fit of giggles took over.

Ron was knelling beside the bath tub, blindfolded and holding a soap in one hand and a sponge in the other.

She still couldn't walk around that much and it still hurt if she sat up for too long but she could do this on her own. So long as Ron assisted her in and out of the tub. She was careful that she had the towel and bathroom on her body securely before doing either but she still couldn't help laughing uncontrollably at Ron's expression.

She took the sponge in his hand and began cleaning her neck and arms.

"You know if I told Harry I was giving -" she looked up and held back a giggle when Ron swallowed loudly before continuing, "you a sponge bath, I don't think this is what he would picture."

"Shhh, quiet," she said splashing some soapy water into his face.

"H-hey!" he said moving forward as though to attempt to splash water back in her face but she instantly slapped his hand away.

"RON!"

"Oh sorry," he said as his face turned bright red.

Hermione laughed once more.

"Oh shut up!"

This only caused her to laugh even harder.

What Ron didn't know was that she wasn't naked, she was in fact wearing a bikini. She smiled and looked up at him.

But seeing the blush on his face every time she touched his hands was worth it.

_**'This is for calling me 'weird-looking',**__**'**__s_he smiled to herself.

* * *

Hermione blinked.

It was dark. Night time again.

She felt a weight press down on her hand.

Her head shifted and she saw that it was her Master. He was sleeping beside her bed, his head resting on their intwined fingers.

Her eyes shifted.

She was in the school infirmary. She lifted a hand to her head.

**_'Bandages...from...when the spell backfired,' _**she slowly recollected the events that lead to her lying the hospital ward.

She looked down at her Master once more.

**_'Is it okay for him to be here?'_**

She lifted her other hand and reached over to touch his hair.

He began to stir and after a moment he sat up. He rubbed his neck as he looked down at her.

"Hey," he said in a hoarse voice, "How you feeling?"

She furrowed her brow.

After a few seconds his eyes widened. He dropped her hand and moved away from her.

"About time you woke up," he said in an irritated tone, "You need to do my laundry and tidy up my room."

Hermione continued staring at him.

"W-what?" he said, and she noted the hint of alarm in his voice before he quickly added, "Y-you also need to find some books for me at the library."

When she still didn't respond he continued in hurried yet hushed tones.

"I have an assignment due by the end of the week and haven't started it yet."

Silence fell once he had finished speaking. Hermione watched him for a while before replying.

"Yes, Master. _**As you wish**_."

She saw his eyes widen at her words. He looked at her in confusion for a moment, and when she didn't say anything further he stood up from the chair.

"I'm going to bed," he mumbled before walking from the hospital ward.

She watched him leave before laying back down on the bed.

For the first time in a very long time, Hermione slept with a smile on her face.

* * *

**AN: Slowly little pieces are falling into place, or are you all still confused? It bothers me that you all seem so lost as to what's happening in the story, I hope this chapter has explained the story somewhat, and although I still want to keep you all guessing as to Ron and Hermione's past together, I at least want you all to understand what's going on.**

**Poohlicous**: Thank you. I hope to keep you guessing.

**Skorpian672**: I can understand your frustration, take heart in that it is still continuing, a work in progress.

**mstl**: Thanks! I worked really hard to make sure everything fits together in the end.

**Eckles**: Thank you for your comments, I always look forward to hearing from you. I think you give me more credit than I deserve, I'd love to say that the symbolism you mentioned was all intentional but I can't. I did take your comment about the 'idealised perception of Ron in the fandom' to heart though and tried, in this chapter, to stay true to his character as we know from the HP books. Although his character would be slightly different because of the setting of the story, I hoped to show in the first memory that he and Hermione in their first year at least still had the arguments and they were both immature, as any kids their age would be.

**Celticscorpion**: Thank you. I hope you liked the backstory in this chapter, there will be more in future chapters but its back to the 'normal' world for Hermione.

**Robin of Nottingham**: I think I'll take that as a compliment :) so thank you! and nice name lol RoN

**ObsessedRHShipper**: Hmmm my lips are sealed, but after reading this chapter what do you think?

**wow60**: Thanks for the help, its fine though, I think the readers will understand even without the strikethrough's.


	10. Bad behaviours

**AN: Remember to read and review.**

* * *

**Chapter 9 - Bad behaviours**

"_Let me go, you can't treat people like this!" _

_The Slytherin who had escorted them up to Hogwarts sneered at the little Gryffindor boy cowering on the floor._

"_Well its a good thing you aren't considered human, you're just fithly mudbloods, and no one would care if you all disappeared off the face of the earth," the Slytherin boy, she had since learned was called 'Flint' stepped forward and held the boy up by the collar, "So you better do what I tell you."_

"_I'll handle it from here Flint," a boy with red hair interrupted them._

_Flint snorted before releasing the boy, and turning to look at the red head._

"_Of course they would send a **Weasley**," Flint sneered, "Have fun with your pets. And I hope you **Gryffindors** remember the consequences of disobeying the law."_

"_Unlike Slytherins, Gryffindors can keep more than one thought in their heads, so shouldn't be a problem for us to remember wizarding laws."_

"_You watch your tongue **Weasley**, wouldn't want anything to happen to Daddy now would we?"_

"_Is that a threat?" the Gryffindor boy practically snarled at the Flint._

_The Slytherin boy didn't reply and simply turned to leave. The Slytherin girl, who had been with them since the Hogwarts express, 'Tracey' Flint had called her, 'humphed' at the Gryffindor boy before following Flint down the hall._

_Hermione turned to see the Gryffindor boy glaring daggers at the pair as they disappeared from view._

"_Alright, follow me and no talking."_

_Hermione felt someone grab her hand. She looked over and saw a girl with brown hair looking around them completely petrified._

_Hermoine didn't know who she was but she squeezed her hand in comfort. If this was her life now, a life of a slave, than she should at least help those in the same position as herself._

_She saw the girl look at her with a grateful smile that disappeared when they were pushed inside a portrait hole._

"_Did that thing just talk?" she heard a girl gasp._

"_No talking!" the Gryffindor boy who had lead them said to the girl and pushed the rest of them inside the room._

_Once her eyes adjusted to the dark, she saw glowing orbs floating in front of them. They were lamps, old fashioned lamps with a little candle shining inside, and holding each was a Gryffindor girl or boy, some of whom she recognised. _

_His red hair glowed in the light of the flames and she almost smiled - almost._

"_Take them up to your rooms, you know what to do," the older Gryffindor boy ordered the others._

_The Gryffindors nodded in response and began pulling a few of the muggle-borns towards them before dragging them up the stairs._

_Hermione gasped when the boy called Ron grabbed her arm and pulled up the stairs with him, a few other girls and boys followed him as well. _

_She gasped and held her arms out to stop herself falling face first when he shoved her into a dark room._

_The door clicked close and Hermione caught her breath, Ron had practically sprinted up the steps and she was still quite tired after the long walk from the train._

_Ron stepped forward and placed the lamp on the floor._

_All she heard was the breathing and sobs of the muggle borns around her._

_She and a few others around her gasped and jumped up in shock when banging was heard on the door. _

_Then suddenly light flooded the room._

_They were in a circular room, and she could see beds around them. _

_Ron was at her side instantly, as well as the dark haired boy she had seen earlier that day._

"_Are you alright?" he questioned her._

"_No," she replied honestly rubbing the tears form her eyes._

_She saw a few other boys in the room as well, they must have been pure bloods, she realised. Two sat in their beds while Ron and his friend knelt down on the floor with the muggle born kids._

"_Here," a rather chubby boy said handing out bags to each of the muggleborns, "you can sleep here tonight but tomorrow you can leave on the Hogwarts Express."_

"_Leave?" the brown haired girl who she had comforted earlier questioned._

"_Yeah," the dark haired boy replied, "You don't have to stay if you don't want to. I wouldn't want you to."_

"_That's a horrible thing to say," Hermione glared at him and she saw him blush._

"_Harry wasn't trying to be mean," Ron cut her off before she began shouting again, "But outside these walls we can't protect you."_

"_So we either go home or stay...as slaves?" a boy questioned._

_The boys around her nodded their heads._

_They all sat in shock as the words sunk in._

"_I'm staying," Hermione said cutting through the silence._

"_What?!" Ron said in shock, "Are you mental! You can't, didn't you hear -"_

"_I'll make my own choices, thank you very much," she said indignantly._

"_This isn't a matter of pride...ummm -"_

"_Hermione," Ron offered when Harry trailed off._

"_Hermione," Harry repeated, "Take it from me, its not nice being someone's servant, to be at their beck and call 24 hours a day."_

"_And the stuff some of the students here know how to do," the chubby boy spoke once more, "Like..."_

_He looked down before continuing in a whisper._

"_Like unforgivable's."_

"_I don't even know what that is," the brown haired girl beside her said in response._

"_Horrible, disgusting curses, some of them can kill you," Hermione explained, she remembered reading about them in her Defence Against the Dark Arts book, "But they are illegal."_

"_Like that can stop them, and who knows if they will still be illegal now with Malfoy in charge," the boy sitting on his bed replied._

"_Thanks for the pick me up Peakes," Ron said sarcastically._

_He turned back to look at Hermione and the others._

"_But its true," Ron said paling slightly, "If they decide to use an unforgivable, or any curse on you, we can't stop them. You __**could**__ die and we couldn't do anything about that."_

"_I want to go home," a girl beside her sobbed._

"_Um," Harry spoke up once more, "Ron shouldn't we explain about the -"_

"_Oh yeah."_

_She looked up at Ron when he spoke._

"_Someone's going to knock on our door in a few minutes and when they do the spell on the room will be removed."_

"_When it does," the boy who Ron had called 'Peakes' said, "no one talks about anything we've discussed in the last few minutes. We've been warned that the rooms may monitored. So until morning you can take the time to decide for yourself what you want to do **but** from now on, you're on your own."_

_Hermione looked at Ron but he avoided her eye contact._

"_Monitored," she said slowly._

"_Bugged," Harry supplied when a few muggle-borns kids looked confused. _

_**BANG! BANG! BANG!**_

_That was the signal. _

_She looked around her, and everyone had frightened expressions on their faces but they all turned and spread out the sleeping bags that they were given and laid down on the floor to rest. _

_She saw Ron and Harry looking at each other before at her._

'_What?' she mouthed to them _

_Ron shook his head at her before the two boys slipped into their own beds._

_Hermione rested her head on the floor and stared out the nearby window._

_So it was down to this._

_Stay and be a servant or leave and be..._

_Hermione sighed before closing her eyes._

_And be Hermione. The normal girl who is always bullied for her strange behaviour and strange interests._

_Neither option looked great but she had already made up her mind._

_She would stay. She was meant to be here. She knew it, she knew it in her bones, her blood._

_Hogwarts was where she belonged. _

* * *

Hermione sat hugging her knees to her chest. She was sitting in the Gryffindor Common room, had been for a few hours now. After the strange dream she had just had she couldn't bring herself to sleep.

Fantasy or reality? She couldn't decide.

Or perhaps just the after affect of the medication she was given by the school nurse.

_'Yeah, just hallucinations from the potions...'_

Hermione groaned and held her head in her hands.

She sighed and looked at the fires embers.

Her eyes drifted up the stairs to the boys dormitory.

It was very late - or incredibly early, her head just felt all jumbled inside - there was no way she would be able to sleep tonight. Especially not outside his door - so close and yet so far.

She sighed and let her head drop to her knees.

"What is wrong with me?" she questioned herself.

'_It's not like any of that stuff was real...right?'_

She felt the strange tingling sensation run through her again.

The little nagging voice that just wouldn't leave her alone.

_'What if it was real? What if it was all true?'_

Hermione shook her head forcefully.

"Impossible," she whispered into the night air.

"What's impossible is that you're awake at this time of night."

Hermione started and jumped up from her seat beside the fire.

Ron - no - her Master walked towards her. She frowned. He was dressed.

"Are you going somewhere?" she asked, taking a step towards him.

He was securing his robes but he nodded his head at her.

"I am," he looked up at her, "Which is why I need you to do something for me."

"Alright," she said slowly following him back up the stairs.

She stopped outside the boys dorm. He opened the door and led her inside. He motioned for her to keep quiet and she nodded her head in understanding.

They tiptoed over to his bed and he pulled aside the curtains surrounding his bed.

He motioned her to get onto the bed.

She felt herself shaking slightly but did as she was told.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Rough fingers trailed up her stomach as she tugged at his shirt. Her shaking fingers clumsily unbuttoning his shirt. **_

"_**Hermione," Ron whispered in her ear before he -**_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hermione's eyes widened as the image flashed in front of her.

Ron moved onto the bed and closed the curtains around them. There was a letter on his bed and he instantly grabbed it and shoved it into his pocket before turning to look at her.

"I need you to," he began in a soft whisper, "hey you listening?"

Hermione cleared her throat and pushed the image of Ron undressing from her mind.

"Yeah, yes I am," she replied avoiding his eyes.

He frowned but continued speaking.

"Just stay in the bed and pretend to be me," he explained, "I'll place an impenetrable charm on the curtains so they won't be able to open them and see you but they will be able to hear you."

Hermione didn't speak, she simply nodded her head in understanding.

"So long as they hear someone snoring behind the curtains it'll be fine -"

He stopped again and looked at her with a frown on his face.

"You feeling alright?" he questioned her, "Your cheeks are all flushed."

"A-are they?" she reached up and touched her face, they felt like they were on fire.

"Here," he threw something into her lap, "Wear that, it should be cooler than what you're wearing now."

Hermione looked down and saw one of her Master white school shirts, the familiar 'R.W' stitched into the collar.

"Where are you..." she began when he stepped off the bed but trailed off uncertain if he would even tell her if she asked.

"That's not your concern," he replied, his back facing her, "I'm leaving now."

"Okay," she said, watching as he closed the curtains.

She heard him whisper a spell before the sound of the door opening and closing was heard.

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"_**No. You have to swish **__**and**__** flick!" Hermione said in frustration.**_

"_**I am swishing, I am flicking!" Ron shouted back. **_

"_**No you are not, if you were it would work!"**_

"_**Maybe you're doing it wrong, ever think of that!"**_

_**Hermione picked up her wand and performed the spell with ease.**_

"_**You were saying?"**_

_**Ron rolled his eyes at her.**_

_**"Bossy know-it-all," he said under his breath.**_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hermione closed her eyes and lay back on the bed.

As she pulled the covers around her she found herself easily drifting off to sleep. Ron's smell, once so repugnant to her, was now so comforting.

The familiar sound of waves crashing begun to surround her.

"Home," she whispered to herself before sleep claimed her.

* * *

_**H,**_

_**Haven't heard from you in a while, is everything okay?**_

_**L.**_

* * *

_She loved the view from this place._

_She looked out of the lop-sided window, a smile on her face._

"_I can't believe people think this place is haunted," Hermione said placing a hand on the window as she watched the snow falling outside._

"_Yeah, I'd love to live here," Ron replied sarcastically._

"_If you hate it so much, why did you drag me here in the first place?" Hermione said in annoyance, "Especially with your leg still healing."_

"_Well," Ron stretched the word out and she turned to look at him suspiciously, "Since you like the place so much, we could come here for meetings and what not."_

"_And why would we do that?" Hermione questioned crossing her arms and turning around to look at him properly, "I don't think this place is structurally sound."_

_Ron shrugged before walking over into the corner where a broken piano stood._

"_Could be a place for us all to hang out - you know be ourselves."_

_Hermione considered the notion. It was true, the constant charade was exhausting and there were times when Ron ordered her around that she felt like hexing him, but - she wasn't sure she liked the idea of them hanging out in this place._

"_Like you said," Ron continued, "its the Shrieking Shak, everyone else who doesn't know Lupins secret thinks its haunted. There's no way they would even consider coming close to this place."_

"_I suppose..." she said slowly looking around the room._

_She looked back at Ron who was watching her expectantly._

"_Okay," she smiled at him, "Sounds like a plan."_

_Oh, how she would come to regret those words._

* * *

Hermione awoke dripping with sweat.

She held her aching head in her hands.

The pain, it was excruciating.

She sat up in bed and felt the world spin around her.

She felt as though she were suffocating and she pulled at her shirt to loosen its grip around her neck.

'_I need some air.'_

She stepped off her Master's bed and tiptoed out of the boy's dorm.

The sun was already beginning to rise but it was still too early for anyone to be awake.

She made it down to the Gryffindor common room and trudged across the room.

She needed to feel the air on her face, she needed to get her thoughts to -

Hermione stopped in her tracks.

There, asleep on the common room sofa was her Master.

She stood still just watching the rise and fall of his chest before she felt her legs move towards him.

When she had reached him she knelt down beside the couch.

He had a blanket covering him and despite his legs being too long for the sofa he looked completely comfortable.

Had he given up his bed so that she could...

Her thoughts trailed off.

'Course not, he doesn't care...'

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_**The ground shook from beneath her feet. Hermione screamed in panic as the walls closed in around her.**_

"_**HERMIONE!" Ron screamed.**_

_**But it was too late...she was...**_

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**'****STOP! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SEE!'**

Hermione scrunched up her face as the pain shot through her temples.

She felt a barrier go up in her mind, as the voice echoed through her head.

Before she could even contemplate what she had just seen she heard a noise behind her.

She heard a girl giggling and - Merlin is that -

"Lavender!" Hermione gasped.

"Her-hermione!" her friend said in shock.

Hermione stared at her friend open-mouthed.

Lavender had her arms around - around her Master, Seamus Finnigin, neck and she had just been snogging him.

"Wh-what the hell?" was all she could manage to say.

"Oops," was all the irishman said in response.

Lavender stepped away from Seamus but although her cheeks were flushed she didn't look embarrassed.

"You hate him," Hermione said matter-of-factly.

"Well...yeah that's kinda half the fun," Lavender replied with a grin.

"Ugh..." Hermione said in disgust.

"Come on, Hermione," Lavender replied folding her arms and narrowing her eyes at her, "I hardly think you are the one to be preaching to me about proper conduct."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nice shirt," was all Lavender said in response.

Hermione stared at her in confusion. Then she looked down and realised that she was still wearing Ron's shirt.

"It was hot in his bed -"

She stopped and bit down on her tongue.

"Now whose out of line?" Lavender said triumphantly, "I knew you two were going at it."

She heard Seamus snort in amusement.

"Can't a guy sleep in peace?"

Hermione's eyes widened and she turned to find Ron awake and watching them.

"Lavender, get lost," he said instantly before standing up from the couch, he placed a hand on her shoulder to steady himself, Hermione ignored the tingles she got from his touch.

Lavender glared at Hermione and Ron before stomping off up the stairs.

"You better watch -"

"You're the one who should watch it," Ron cut Seamus off.

"Nothing's been going on between Hermione and I," Ron lowered his voice before continuing, "You should tell her tonight."

Seamus groaned and slumped his shoulders before replying.

"Yeah, alright," Seamus said dejectedly before walking up the stairs after Lavender.

"You should probably change," Ron said to her before he too began walking up the staircase.

"H-hey," the words were out of her mouth before she even realised it.

Ron stopped and turned to look at her.

Now that he was standing, watching her expectantly she didn't have a clue what to say.

"What is it?" he asked her in a dazed and tired tone.

"How - have - you....been?"

She sighed inwardly.

'_Nice,'_ the voice inside her said sarcastically.

Ron took a step towards her his eyes scrutinising now, the exhaustion was gone from his eyes.

"Hermione."

"Yes?"

Silence elapsed and only the faint crackle of the fireplace could be heard.

She could practically feel the sweat rolling down her back as they continued their staring competition.

"The Hogsmeade trip is this weekend, I'll need you to come with me," her Master said suddenly.

Hermione started but began nodding her head.

"I have a few errands to run, shouldn't take too long," he paused and cocked his head slightly, "That alright with you?"

Hermione continued nodding her head, having absolutely no idea what was happening.

"Good, that's all," he said before turning and walking up the stairs once more.

Hermione watched him go.

_'How have you been?_**' **she felt like smacking herself in the head.

* * *

Hermione ignored the chatter around her and focused on folding the shirt in front of her.

"Hogsmeade," she thought aloud shifting in her seat in the corner of the laundry room of the castle, "I've never gone with him to Hogsmeade...right?"

Hermione bit her lip and continuing folding the clothes in front of her.

As the days passed she had been feeling like more holes have been appearing in her memory.

She had been here last year with her Master...but then why did she keep seeing - **_no,_** keep _**imagining**_ herself in the strange cottage by the sea?

Why was it that the thought of that little house comfort her so much?

Why - whenever she saw her Master, did strange images flash across her eyes? Like her kissing -

Hermione shook her head.

"No. Bad. Bad Hermione."

"How many times are you going to fold that shirt?"

Hermione gasped and jumped up from her seat.

"Lavender," she said when she realised her friend was standing beside her.

Lavender rolled her eyes at her and jumped up to sit on the table. She folded her arms and turned to look at Hermione seriously.

"Looks like I have to leave Hogwarts now."

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise.

"What? Why?"

"Why do you think?" Lavender said tartly.

"I didn't tell anyone about what I saw last night," Hermione replied frowning at her friend, "Don't you trust me?"

Lavender sighed and unfolded her arms.

"I know you wouldn't tell but we were getting kinda reckless, it was only a matter of time before someone..." Lavender trailed off and instead began strumming her fingers on the table.

"So you're just gonna leave?"

Lavender looked at her before jumping off the table.

"I would have done so sooner but - well you know."

Hermione furrowed her brow in confusion.

"No, I don't."

Lavender rolled her eyes once more.

"Because of you, you dork," Lavender explained, "I could hardly leave if it meant you would be alone, now could I?"

"Isn't that what you're doing now?" Hermione countered before quickly adding, "Not that I'm not grateful that you suffered through all these years with me -"

"Well it wasn't all bad," Lavender cut Hermione off, "I always said that I was lucky that I didn't get stuck with your Master instead."

"Yeah I remember."

"I think I may have been wrong though," Lavender said slowly, "Now I can leave, 'cause I know you'll be fine without me."

Hermione felt a deep sadness well up within her at the thought of her last remaining friend leaving Hogwarts.

"I'm really going to -"

"Oh none of that rubbish," Lavender said quickly before hugging Hermione tightly.

She stood back up and smiled at Hermione, she could see tears in her friends eyes but they were quickly wiped away.

"Make sure you write to me," Lavender said as she walked out of the room.

"I will," Hermione said waving goodbye to her friend.

Alone once in the room, Hermione looked down at her lap.

"And then there was one."

* * *

Hermione hugged her shawl closer to her body and with shaking fingers tied the letter to the little owl. She petted the bird before offering it an owl treat.

It hooted at her before flying off into the night sky. She watched it leave from the balcony of the Owlery.

She had felt bad for not sending more letters to Lance and her parents, so since her Master was busy revising quidditch techniques with Harry Potter, she thought it the perfect time to send her letters. He usually got hungry just before bed though, and she began wondering what she should prepare for her Master to eat.

'Should probably make something for Harry too,' she considered.

She turned to leave but stopped when she heard footsteps behind her. It was quite dark and so she couldn't see who it was until they stepped into the moonlight.

She felt her body tense.

'Malfoy.'

He blinked at her blankly at first, as though he didn't know who she was, but then she saw his eyes light up. She felt as though her stomach had dropped to the floor, and she was pretty sure she was going to be sick.

'Is it too risky?' she wondered to herself fingering the wand in her jeans pocket, 'Minister of Magic's son remember.'

She pursed her lips together at the thought before looking down at the floor.

'Don't make him angry,' was the only thought in her mind when he began talking.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

She ignored the way he had said 'you', and quickly thought up an answer.

"Sending a letter," she replied, trying to keep any bitterness or anger in her voice, but honestly what else could she be doing in the Owlery.

"Hmm," he replied thoughtfully, "For your Master?"

'No, but best to lie so he doesn't hurt me.'

"Yes," she nodded her head but she kept her eyes focused on the floor.

**SMACK!**

Hermione gasped as she felt her cheek burn. The force had caused her to lose her footing and she stumbled to her side, hitting the wall painfully.

She felt tears spring to her eyes as a shaky hand reached up to touch her stinging face. She glared daggers at the boy in front of her.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" she screamed at him, all thought of acting meek going out the window.

Malfoy chuckled at her in amusement.

"Lying is a bad habit for a servant, don't you think so?" Malfoy turned his head slightly to look behind him, "Weasley?"

Hermione's eyes widened in shock. Her Master had been there the whole time. He had been standing in the shadows at the entrance of the Owlery.

He let Malfoy hit her?

The realisation felt like a punch to the gut, worse than Malfoy's slap to the face. Her tears ran freely down her face now.

"Sure is," she heard her Master reply.

'What?' She looked up at her Master.

He stepped into the light now, his arms crossed across his chest. His eyes cold and - Merlin he looked like he could care less what happened to her.

Malfoy kicked her in the shin, causing her to fall to the floor.

The disgusting state of the floor and the fact that she had owl droppings all over her was the last thing on her mind.

'No,' her mind screamed in protest, 'No! My Master wouldn't let this happen.'

She peered up through her hair to see her Master staring off into the night sky.

'Look at me!'

She felt her chest tighten, she was having difficulty breathing.

'He has to -'

'Save you?' a voice inside her questioned, 'He isn't going to protect a mere servant, especially not when Draco Malfoy is concerned. He cares more about himself than you.'

She shook her head in despair.

'But all those times he saved me...'

'Those times you fantasised about him you mean?'

'NO! It was...'

'Just dreams,' the horrible voice inside her spoke, 'Dreams of a pathetic little girl who can't accept the fact that she is alone in this world. She had one friend and now she's gone too.'

A cry of pain escaped her lips when Malfoy stepped on her back and pressed her body flat on the ground.

His foot remained on her back, every now and then he moved his foot around causing pain to run through her. Her ribs felt on fire.

"I should congratulate you Weasley," Malfoy spoke as though he wasn't crushing her beneath his feet.

Her Master mumbled something in reply which she couldn't hear.

"No, no don't be so modest," Malfoy continued in a frighteningly cheery voice, "My father and mother would also like to extend their congratulations."

'What the hell is he talking about?!'

"It's still some time away," she heard her Master reply.

"It's always good to see purebloods returning to the fold, that's what my father said anyway," Malfoy continued as though not hearing Ron speak.

Hermione groaned and tried to move her body from underneath him but it was no use. Malfoy wanted her to hear this.

"You know, I had thought that your interest lay in less - shall we say _**distasteful**_ objects," she heard Malfoy laugh, "But after this, well its good to see your family finally making some good choices. No more muggle sympathising 'aye Weasley?"

There was a pause and she heard her Master turn to look at Malfoy.

'I knew it!' she thought triumphantly, 'He is going to -'

"Of course not," Her master smiled back at Malfoy.

"NO!"

Hermione's eyes darted up to her Master's face. He looked down at her when she spoke.

"No! You can't mean that!" she cried.

She heard her Master sigh and rub his eyes.

"Do you mind if I shut her up?" Ron asked Malfoy.

"Go right ahead," Malfoy took his foot off her and moving to stand beside Ron, Hermione saw him smirk at her before his eyes shifted to Ron, "When is the wedding planned?"

'WHAT!'

"STUPEFY!"

Hermione felt her head drop to the floor, and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't fight the darkness surrounding her. She could only feel the tears falling down her face as the pain ripped through her body.

* * *

**AN: *laughs nervously* Do you all hate me now? FAQ and replies to comments below. **

**FAQ:**

**1. Is Hermione time-travelling? **

No, no time traveling in this fic, Hermione is 'seeing' things, whether they are memories or delusions brought on by her head injuries, you be the judge of that, Hermione doesn't' even know. But no time travelling involved. :/ I'm sorry if this was unclear, I'm rather distressed that so many people think that time travelling is occuring.

**2. You are confusing me woman! Tell me WTF! is going on now!**

Again, I am sorry. My intention is **not** to confuse you, its supposed to be a 'mystery'. You are reading from Hermione's POV and as she doens't know a lot of what's going on outside her 'servants world', so you won't either. **BUT** if there is something in my writing that is confusing please tell me. I am worried that some of you may be confused because of my writing style and not because of the story, if that is the case please tell me so I can find a way to better myself.

**3. When does this story take place?**

During fifth year, thus the presence of Umbridge. The characters are 15/16 years old. And it's obviously and AU (Alternate Universe) fic.

**4. I hate you! Ron is an A-hole! You have ruined his character! **

Again, sorry. Remember this is AU and the characters were brought up in a different set of circumstances than in the HP books, that said I will endeavor to remain as true to character as i can.

**5. I wasn't sure bout this fic but I am glad I read it. (More of a frequent comment rather than question)**

I can only assume you read my horrible summary for this fanfic and took a chance. So could someone please help me, can you come up with a better summary for me to use?

**Response to reviews/comments:**

**ObsessedRHShipper: **The 'As you wish' comment probably wouldn't make sense to anyone who hasn't read Princess Bride, but either way Hermione saying that would be strange to Ron considering she has been so hostile to him throughout the story so far. Good to hear from you as always! XD

**Wayne/Eckles:** 'Offering to the flashback Gods' LOL I hope its okay that I'm doing that. Since this fic starts in their fifth year I sorta need to explain the history somewhat, **but** do you find it annoying and/or does it detract from the story?

I know a lot of people are confused, asking me if its memory/dreams or fantasies, so I am worried that it might have been a mistake to start in fifth year. At the same time there is no freakin' way I could have started from first year lol ;) I am way too impatient to write that much. Oh and your comment about Hermione's reaction...after reading your comments I had to go back and change my whole story :) I did have a set outline but after reading what you said, I realised you were right and had to change a few things. That's not a bad thing though, I would like to keep the basic outline but as this story has progressed several different ideas occured to me and I have added extra elements that have made the story more interesting, so thank you for helping me improve the story.

Hmmm, as for the abuse Ron suffered for her - I can't respond to that considering what happened in this chapter. I am sure you are far too smart to...argh! I can't tell you more cause it would spoil it for everyone but I have a feeling you will see the deeper meaning behind what has happened. Love to hear from you XD

**cc222**: I'm glad to hear you are less confused, and thank you for the compliments.

**ErinFabu**: I'm glad you are enjoying the story, and thanks for commenting.

**You Know ****Who**: She's not time travelling :/ Sorry for confusing you.

**Skorpian672**: Pretty butterflies lol XD Thanks!

**Robin of Nottingham/RoN**: Lucky coincidence RoN XD Thank you so much! It makes me so happy to see people enjoying my fic. And yes, the mirror, that was horrible to write by the way, I felt like crying :(

**Sonar de Mercury**: It is Shell Cottage, but they're still in 5th year and the events of OoTP are taking place, like Umbridge. I'll try to include more OotP plot in the coming chapters. I am glad you found this fic too! And I hope to keep you guessing and entertained for quite some time :)


	11. Something's gotta change II

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!**

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!**

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!**

**PLEASE READ AND REVI****EW!**

* * *

**Chapter 10 - Something's got to Change II**

Singing.

Someone was singing. She couldn't make out the words but they felt so familiar.

The voice soothed her and she felt her body relax.

Then it stopped.

Hermione frowned and her eyes slowly opened. It was dark, she could only make out a few objects in the room from the lone candle beside her.

Her eyes drifted around the room.

The boys dormitory, she realised.

"How are you feeling?"

Hermione turned her head.

"Ron?" she said in a hoarse voice.

Her master was standing above her a strange expression playing on his face.

His eyes seemed strange and they avoided looking straight at her.

"What's wrong?" she questioned her hand reaching out to touch his.

She felt her hand freeze mid-air.

"_**Do you mind if I shut her up?" **_

"_**STUPEFY!"**_

Hermione gasped and her hand instantly dropped to the bed.

"You used magic on me?" she remembered, sitting up in the bed and staring at her Master.

The shadows cast by the candle made it impossible for her to see his face clearly. But even still he turned his face away from her when he answered.

"Yes," Ron said in a soft voice.

She felt anger rise within her.

Without thinking. Without really knowing what she wanted to do. She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her, forcing him to face her.

"I'm sor -"

Her hand moved on its own.

**SLAP!**

She had hit him across the face.

She wanted to do much worse. All her pent up anger and emotions were reaching a boiling point. And it was all his fault.

She felt tears well up in her eyes.

She heard someone enter the room. A hand touched her own, which was still hanging mid -air.

Ginny Weasley had entered the room, had most likely seen what had just passed and was now holding Hermione's hand.

"What's going on here?" Ginny asked her brother.

Hermione's eyes returned to Ron.

He had his head bent low and she still couldn't see his face properly. She did see him smile though. And that smile tore at her insides.

She had never seen him smile like that before. It was a smile devoid of any real joy or happiness.

"Nothing," he finally spoke and she heard his voice break slightly as he continued, "Nothing at all."

He turned then and walked from the room.

Ginny and Hermione watched him leave. When the door closed behind him, Ginny turned to look at her.

"You should rest," she said but it had sounded more like an order.

Exhaustion engulfed her once more and she laid back down on the bed.

"You hit him?" she heard Ginny say just as she closed her eyes.

"Yes," was all she said before she drifted off to sleep.

She thought she heard Ginny say something else, but she wasn't sure. She took a deep breath and darkness surrounded once more.

* * *

Hermione felt something cold touch her face and she frowned in discomfort.

Voices.

She could hear voices around her but she couldn't quite hear the words. She felt the familiar pulse of pain run through her temples and she tried to relax her body to stop the pain.

She could feel images pushing their way through her mind but for once she didn't want to see them. She knew now that they were just dreams, fantasies her lonely mind had made up to comfort her.

She felt tears fall slowly down her face.

The last thing she wanted right now was to be reminded of her Master but every time she tried to clear her head more images of his face appeared before her.

"You alright?" Harry's voice cut through her thoughts.

She kept her eyes closed tightly and pretended to be asleep. She did not want to talk to anyone right now. Her master - he had used magic on her. He had never done that before, usually he was cold or stern with her but never would he use magic on her. She wondered why it had never occurred to her before how lucky she had been. Even after seeing servants packing their things and leaving because their masters had used magic on them, forcing them to do horrible things. He had never done anything to physically hurt her before.

Hermione felt something well up inside her, clawing at her insides to be released.

"Ron?" a female voice said as the sound of a door opening and closing could be heard.

Ginny Weasley, Hermione realised had just entered the room and walked over to the bed where she lay.

"I heard about..." Ginny trailed off and she heard a chair scrapping across the floor before a hand touched her face, "...your not really going to...marry her are you?"

She heard Ron sigh.

"I don't see what choice we have," Ron continued as she felt a person sit down on the bed.

"They've been after us all year," Harry spoke after a moment of silence, "I didn't think they would go so far as..."

"Yeah," she heard Ron laugh mirthlessly, "Lucky me."

"But why _**you**_?" Ginny questioned, "Why not just have Harry -"

"I'm half-blood remember?" Harry cut her off, "And I think it makes sense that they would choose Ron over me, it would be too suspicious if some random Slytherin wanted to marry me."

"Yeah cause they were real subtle when they talked to Dad," Ginny snorted, "Even with the animosity between them, Malfoy actually has the gall to pretend as though our families are thick as thieves now."

"Can we not talk about this?" Ron said with a sigh.

"No," Ginny replied, "We _**have**_ to talk about this, with you getting married -"

"Engaged," Ron corrected her, "Wedding's not till we graduate."

"Yeah, but until then we have a pawn of the Ministry to watch our every move," Harry said bitterly before adding, "So what happens? Is she going to follow us all around?"

The room became quiet once more.

"What?" Harry questioned the others when they didn't respond.

"Something like that," Ginny explained, "She'll have access to all the places a Gryffindor can go and it won't be a big surprise if she starts following us around."

"It'll be fine, we should still be able to have the D.A. meetings."

Hermione pulled herself out of her stupor.

_**'D.A.?' **_she thought to herself.

"Harry!" Ginny said instantly.

"What?" Harry questioned in shock.

Something must have happened, perhaps Ginny had whispered or made some hand gestures because the next moment she heard Harry say,

"Oh, right sorry. She's unconscious though."

"Yeah but it still works no matter what."

Hermione felt something warm and soft touching her face once more.

Someone was cleaning her face, she realised. She didn't even know what she looked like at the moment. But she didn't feel dirty, despite haven fallen on the floor of the Owlery.

"Can you tell us what happened with Malfoy though?" Harry questioned his friend.

Hermione felt something clench inside her.

'_**I don't want to hear this.'**_

"Yeah, gave me a shock to see him standing outside the Gryffindor common room, thought for sure he was going to interrogate us again," Ginny added.

**_'Interrogate?'_** Hermione wondered if that meant cursing them, as she had seen the Slytherins do her Master earlier that week.

"We just talked," Ron replied in a dead panned voice, "He dragged me up to the Owlery, going on and on about how great this _**'marriage'**_ would be and how he hoped the relationship between our families would improve now that we were -"

"What?" Harry questioned curiously when Ron stopped talking.

"Now that we were - back on the right side," Ron continued through clenched teeth, "Took all my willpower not to punch him right there."

"Ron," his sister laughed.

"Well it would be convenient, no witnesses," Harry added with a chuckle.

"Just debating whether I could just stun him and start punching, it would be easy enough to do some healing spells afterwards so he wouldn't have me expelled for beating him up," Ron paused and she felt the person beside get up off the bed before Ron continued, "But then I saw Hermione."

"What was she doing there at this time of night."

"Sending letters to her family and Lance."

'_**What? How does he know about Lance?'**_

She heard Ginny sigh.

"Ron," Ginny scolded, "I told you to stop doing that."

'_**Doing what?'**_ Hermione wondered, _**'Reading my letters?'**_

"Alright Ginny!" Ron suddenly shouted, "I've got enough shit to deal with, without having you screeching at me every chance you get."

"You didn't seem to mind it when she -" Ginny mumbled.

"What did you just say?!" Ron cut his sister off.

"Don't get like that with me!" Ginny shouted back, "I am so sick of you walking around with this massive chip on your shoulder. Maybe you haven't realised it but we all have had to give up things we want over the last few years."

"Look you two, give it a rest for a minute would you?" Harry cut in before Ron could reply.

A moment of silence followed and she heard the chair scrapping against the wood once more, Ginny must have jumped up from her seat when Ron shouted at her.

"Fine," Ginny said with a sigh, "I'm sorry Ron, you know I didn't -"

"Whatever," Ron cut her off, "What are we going to do when - my - fiance starts hanging around."

"Who is she again?" Ginny wondered aloud, "It's strange that they didn't get someone like Pansy to do it."

"I think that would have been too obvious," Harry said thoughtfully, "They need someone who can actually have a chance of integrating amoung us, you know, someone we could start to trust enough that we would tell her all our secrets."

"Oh that makes sense," Ginny said before addressing Ron, "Have you actually talked to her yet?"

"Yeah," Ron replied his voice barely a whisper, "I met her when I went with Dad to the Ministry during the Christmas break, didn't think much of it when Malfoy introduced us. But I only got the letter from Mum and Dad - a few days ago."

"After they attacked you in the D.A.D.A classroom?" Ginny questioned.

"Yeah," he answered in a surprised tone, "Something must have happened since then to make them go so far as place a spy within our group."

"Hmmm," Ginny said thoughtfully.

"Can you order her around?" Harry questioned, "Like with Hermione?"

"No, I don't think so..." Ron paused and she heard the sound of someone pacing the room, "I could ask Dad about it when we see -"

She heard Ginny cough and Ron stopped talking.

"Right, well, how's Hermione doing?" Harry questioned.

"Better, though she's been asleep for a while."

"How 'bout Gin and I get you some dinner so you can stay here and take care of her?" Harry suggested.

"I'm not hungry," Ron replied.

"Ron," Ginny said in a warning voice.

"What?"

"You are always hungry, just because its not Hermione bringing you the food doesn't mean you can't eat."

"Force of habit I suppose," Ron replied and she could almost see the smile on his face.

"Well we'll get you something, shouldn't be too long."

"Take your time," Ron said in response.

"Don't do anything stupid while we're gone," Ginny said before the sound of feet walking and the door opening and closing was heard.

_**'Alone again,'**_ Hermione thought to herself.

Her mind was racing. Everything she had heard had shocked her but it didn't change the fact that Ron had done what he had done.

_**'Sleep,'**_ the voice in her head ordered her and for once she agreed.

She took a deep breath and tried to sleep once more.

* * *

"How long are you just going to lay there?"

Hermione's eyes snapped open at the sound of his voice.

Ron was standing above her.

She had woken up a few minutes earlier but she could still feel her Master near her so she didn't open her eyes or acknowledge him.

"Have something to eat," he ordered her.

Hermione frowned at him but sat up in bed to look at the food on a tray in front of her.

"Did you..." she trailed off.

'_**No, not him. I have to stop pretending like he's this kind person...not after...'**_

"I'm not hungry," she said instead.

"Eat!" he ordered her.

"NO!"

She felt ridiculous, like a child when they didn't get their way. But she wasn't thinking rationally right now. She just didn't want to have anything to do with him.

"Ginny got it for you," her Master said after a moments silence, "If it were up to me you'd starve."

She looked up at him in shock but he was already walking towards the door. It slammed closed behind him and she looked back at the food on her lap.

Begrudgingly she began to eat.

She was surprised at how hungry she was and the plate of food was soon empty. Hermione drank some of the tea that was on the tray before placing the tray to one side. She stretched her arms and got up off the bed.

Her eyes instantly went towards her Masters desk. She checked the room to make sure she really was alone before walking over to the table. She let her fingers move across the wooden desk.

She moved a few papers out of the way and stacked them in a pile. She quickly realised what she was doing and dropped them back onto the desk, a few of the papers fell to the floor and she bent down to pick them up.

Her hands reached under the bed where she saw a stray piece of paper. She pulled out the paper and realised that it was in fact a letter.

She gathered the papers up and placed them on the desk. She was just about to walk away when something caught her eye.

The letter. It looked oddly familiar.

She furrowed her brow in confusion and picked it up to have a better look.

She hesitated for a moment before unfolding the letter.

She felt her fingers begin to shake with anger.

This was her letter!

A letter she wrote to Lance.

"What is he doing with my -"

_**Flashback!**_

"_**Ron," Ginny scolded, "I told you to stop doing that."**_

_**End Flashback!**_

**'**_**He **__**has**__** been stealing my letters then.'**_

"What are you doing?"

Hermione jumped back when she heard Ron's harsh voice near her.

She turned and was shocked to find herself facing the angry expressions of not only her Master but of also Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley.

Ron stepped towards her. His eyes drifted to her hands where she was still holding the letter.

"Give - me - that," he ordered her reaching out a hand towards her.

Hermione looked down at the letter in her hands, a letter which she wrote to Lance. It didn't belong to him, why the hell would he want this?

"No."

Ron looked surprised at her response.

"What did you say?"

"I said, no, this letter is mine," she folded the letter and hugged it to her chest, "I will not give it to _you_."

She spat out the last word. She couldn't believe what her Master had done. First he had used magic on her and now she found out that he had been reading her letters - her very private letters.

Her cheeks flushed as she remembered what she had written to Lance. She glanced at her Master. Did he know that those confessions she had made to Lance were about him? Was that why he had been acting so strangely around her lately?

'_**No,' **_Hermione scolded herself, _**'I am the one that is strange, I actually thought he cared about me. How could I be so stupid!'**_

Hermione scowled and glared at her Master.

"Give - me - that - letter," Ron repeated taking another step towards her, "That is an order!"

"NO!" she screamed back at him.

She really wanted to hit him this time. She felt her hands clench into fists. She really wanted to _**punch**_ him.

"Ron," Ginny said slowly walking up to her brother and placing a hand on his shoulder, "Let me try something."

"Ginny, wha -"

Ginny cut her brother off and walked toward Hermione, Hermione stiffened at the redheads' approach.

"Give me your hand," Ginny said to Hermione before pausing and adding, "Please."

Hermione eyed her suspiciously.

"Just your hand," Ginny continued, "I don't want the letter."

Hermione placed the letter behind her back with one hand but still refused to touch the girl in front of her.

"I won't hurt you," Ginny reassured her, "Please."

Hermione looked at Ron, he was watching his sister in confusion as was Harry.

"Alright," Hermione said slowly reaching out a hand to touch Ginny's outstretched one.

Ginny smiled at her.

"Thank you," Ginny said in response.

Hermione gasped in surprise.

Ginny had grabbed her arm and pulled at the bracelet on her wrist.

**"NO!**" everyone in the room screamed simultaneously.

It was too late, Ginny had pulled off the bracelet and now held it in her hand.

Hermione shook with fear.

But wait.

Nothing had happened. She should be writhing on the floor in pain. They had learnt very early on that _**only**_ their Master had the power and right to remove their bracelets. If anyone else tried the servant would feel the same amount of pain as an unforgivable curse.

Hermione's mouth hung open in shock.

"Ginny," Ron said staring at his sister looking as shocked as Hermione felt, "What - did - you - do?!"

Ginny looked at Harry.

"Nothing happened," Harry said slowly, "Merlin, that explains everything!"

"What?" Ron said still dumbstruck by his sisters actions.

"I've had a theory for some time now," Ginny said turning to her brother.

"A theory!" Ron shouted at his sister, "You could have killed her!"

Hermione looked at Ron in surprise.

"No," Ginny shook her head at Ron.

"Haven't you noticed Ron?" Harry asked her Master.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Ron said in response.

"It must have been going on for some time now," Ginny continued, "But you're too close to her to see it."

She saw Ron run a shaking hand through his hair.

"What?"

"The reason why they suddenly sprung a fiance on you," Harry shook his head in disbelief, "It was so obvious, why didn't we see it before?"

Ginny nodded her head in agreement.

"What - the - bleedin' - hell - is going on here!"

Ginny and Harry turned to look at Ron.

"Isn't it obvious," Ginny threw the bracelet in her hand to Ron, he caught it and looked at it, "It's not working."

They all turned to look at Hermione.

"Hermione is -" Ron stared at her in disbelief.

"Hermione is free," Ginny finished for her brother.

Hermione looked from one face to another. She could only think of one thing to say to them.

"Huh?"

* * *

**AUTHOR NOTES:**

**I want to especially thank 'pearls-and-crystal-blues', the reviews have been dwindling lately and I was feeling quite depressed, since the last chapter was so difficult to write. But thanks to 'pearls-and-crystal-blues' I felt much better and instantly began typing away XD**

**I ****appreciate everyone who comments as its really the only way I can tell if people like this story. So please keep commenting so that I know that you want me to continue.**

**I hope you liked this chapter :) I think you'll enjoy next chapter, some things to look forward to:**

**- meeting Ron's fiance**

**- some of Hermione's questions are answered**

**- and possibly the Hogsmeade visit**

**Love you guys!**

**Response to questions/comments:**

**bookworm8721:** Thank you!

**RoN: **Was it evil of me? I didn't notice *muahahahaha* XD

**obsessedRHShipper: **Hmm good theories :P

**wow60**: *sigh* Ron isn't being too nice is he? Poor Hermione feels like she's been put through the dryer.

**bookcrzygirl**: I can answer a few questions. Yes, Ron did give up his bed but he also had things he needed to take care of that night, two birds one stone. Lavender and Seamus did have a relationship and as a result she had to leave Hogwarts, this will be come clearer in later chapters. Do you like Seamus/Lavender? if so I'll make their arc a focus as well.

**pearls-and-crystal-blues:** I left a specific 'thank-you' above but I really do appreciate your comments :) thank you for reading and actually spending time to write a lovely and long comment in response to the chapter. I was actually considering whether I wanted to continue writing cause I wasn't sure how many people were still interested, but your comments encouraged me to continue. So, once again THANK YOU!


	12. It must be rearranged

**Chapter 11 - It must be rearranged **

"Hermione is free."

Hermione looked from one face to another. she could only think of one thing to say to them.

"Huh?"

Silence.

Hermione felt the room begin to spin and she reached out to steady herself. Ron grabbed her hand and held her firmly.

"Breathe Hermione," he said to her.

She stood up on her own and stared at him.

Slowly he released his fingers from around her arm and took a step back. Her eyes remained on him a moment longer before turning to Ginny.

"What do you mean, _free_?"

Ginny opened her mouth as though to speak but Harry cut her off.

"Gin, wait," Harry stepped up and took the bracelet off of Ron, "Before we say anything more we should make sure."

He turned to look at her and he scrutinised her carefully.

"Can you give me the other one?"

"Why?" she said handing the other bracelet over to Harry.

"Dobby?"

Hermione jumped back slightly when one of the school elves appeared in front of them.

"Harry Potter sir!" the elf said happily practically jumping up and down in joy at seeing Harry.

"Hi Dobby, could you ask Dumbledore to take a look at these and tell us what he thinks?" Harry handed the little elf the bracelets and he nodded his head before disappearing.

"Okay Ginny," Harry said turning round to look at them once more, "You were saying?"

"Right," Ginny nodded her head and turned to Hermione once more, "Well, you've always been free to leave Hogwarts. But that requires you to physically leave on the Hogwarts Express."

"Yes I know, but hang on before we get into that can you explain why you just gave that elf my bracelets?" Hermione questioned quickly, she still felt as though the world were spinning and she was about to loss her balance.

"They were bugged," Harry explained.

Hermione felt something familiar about that and she whispered the word a few times.

"Did - did we have this conversation before?" she said after a moments silence.

She saw Harry give Ron a concerned look, Hermione glanced at him and saw him become paler by the second.

"Um, what do you remember?" Harry said slowly.

"The first night at - wait! That was real?" she heard her voice suddenly become high pitched as the panic set in.

"Hermione."

Hermione turned when Ron called her, he was walking toward her slowly.

"Do you - " he looked away before continuing, "Do you remember - me?"

Hermione felt that to be a strange question to ask. Of course she remembered him, how could she not? She had been his slave since -

"Do you remember last year?" She heard Ron's voice break on the last word and she looked at him in surprise.

"Last year?" she repeated wishing that Ron would look at her but he seemed fixated on the desk behind her, "I - uh..."

She took a moment to think about his question.

"Ron," she heard Ginny say in a warning tone, "This isn't good, we shouldn't force her to remember."

"No its alright," Hermione said looking at the each of them in turn, "I remember."

Ron's head instantly snapped back to look at her. His eyes wide, staring at her in - was that anticipation?

"You do?" he said a smile creeping on his face.

"Yeah," she nodded her head at him, "You were here helping Harry survive the Tri-wizard tournament."

She saw the smile melt from his face and his face became serious once more.

"Oh," he said in response, a look of disappointment on his face. He turned and walked to the other side of the room before sitting on one of the beds.

"I remember going to the library and helping you all do research to help Harry..." she trailed off when Harry walked over to Ron and began talking to him.

She couldn't hear what he was saying but she saw Ron nodding his head every now and then.

"Is - is that not right?" she said turning to look at Ginny in confusion.

She saw something like pity in Ginny's eyes.

"Let's just answer your other question first," Ginny said changing the subject.

"Yeah," she heard Harry agree as he walked back over to them, Ron she noticed was still sitting on the bed but he was watching them, "For some reason the magic on the bracelets have stopped working and you are no longer bound to do whatever Ron orders."

"How did that happen?" Ginny questioned taking a seat on the nearest bed before looking at Harry, "Do you think its a school wide problem? Maybe the other servants are experiencing the same thing."

"No..."

Everyone's attention turned to Ron.

"Ron?" Harry said in concern.

Ron looked up at his friend.

"You don't think they actually..." he trailed off and looked at Hermione, "But she hasn't been near them."

"Who?" Harry questioned still unclear as were the rest of them to what Ron was referring to.

"The Ravenclaws," Ron said slowly, "They've been working on a counter-charm for their own servants. Said we should all use it but I didn't think much of it."

"I don't think so," Ginny disagreed shaking her head, "I talked to one of the guys working on it and he said they were still working on the specifics of the charm."

"When was this?" Ron asked his sister unconvinced.

"When you were beating up that - "

Harry cut off abrubtly and looked at Hermione.

Then she remembered. Her master has threatened the Ravenclaw that had pushed her over on the train platform.

"Oh," she said before she could stop herself.

They all turned to look at her.

"I kinda overheard what he had said to you," she explained looking at Ron, "Said that you couldn't protect me."

She felt a flush of embarrassment heat up her face.

"I'll go talk to them now," Ron said when she stopped talking.

"Wait!" she said before he had taken two steps towards the door.

Ron turned to look at her.

She didn't know what she wanted to say, but that expression on his face sent warning bells off in her head. She - knew - she felt something inside telling her to not let him walk away from her.

"Look," Harry said breaking the silence and tension between them, "I think that if the Ravenclaws have done something they would have told us," Harry paused before looking at Ginny, "You mentioned a theory you had?"

Ginny nodded and turned to her brother.

"When you left Hermione in the D.A.D.A cupboard, what spells did you use on it?"

"Not sure," Ron pondered for a moment, "I used a few but I think...yeah definitely an impenetrable charm."

Ginny frowned.

"That's not enough to cause the kind of damage we see in the bracelets."

Hermione found Harry suddenly staring at her suspiciously. It made her feel incredibly uncomfortable.

"What?"

He stepped towards her.

"You didn't..." he began slowly, "cast a spell on the door did you?"

All eyes instantly snapped towards her.

"I - uh - yeah I did."

"What spell?" Ginny questioned.

"I think...just Allohomora."

"How do you even know that spell?" Ron asked her with a furious expression on his face.

"I - " Hermione paused for a moment before her memory returned, "I remembered performing it in the past."

He just continued to stare at her for a moment before he began laughing mirthlessly.

"That, she remembers."

**'**_**Wait. How would I remember doing a spell that I was never taught.'**_

She looked up and found Ginny watching her carefully.

"How much do you remember?"

Hermione felt her heart race.

"T-that can't be..."

"You've been remembering things haven't you?"

It was more a statement then a question and Hermione stared at Ginny in disbelief.

"They're real?" she said in disbelief.

She held her head in her hands.

"All these visions I've been having, dreams and fantasies...they're all real?"

"You just said you remembered that first night here at Hogwarts," Harry said when she stared at them speechless.

Hermione took a deep breath and felt her hands begin to sweat.

She felt herself pulled up from the bed. Ginny helped her towards an open window.

"Just breathe," she said to her and Hermione did.

The cool air helped relax her but only slightly.

"What do you remember?" Ginny asked after she had calmed down.

Hermione leaned against one of the beds and stared at the floor.

"Strange things, just random things...like Ron and I arguing."

Harry laughed at this.

"That's no surprise," he explained, "You guys were always at each others throats."

They all turned when they heard the sound of the door closing.

Harry and Ginny shared a look before he walked out the door after Ron.

"Is he - alright?" she questioned Ginny.

"He's always been hot tempered," Ginny tried to explain.

Hermione thought on this for a moment.

"But, in other dreams - well memories - he's so kind..."

"When?"

Hermione looked up at Ginny.

"When?" she repeated in confusion.

"When is he kind? What memories are those?"

Hermione thought on this for a moment.

"There was a house, near a beach - it was - a cottage - Shell Cottage."

"Oh."

Hermione looked up at Ginny.

"What? Is that significant? Is that not real?"

Ginny shook her head.

"No, that was real. But that was - _after_."

"After?" Hermione said in confusion, "After what?"

Ginny looked at the door as though expecting Ron to come through at any moment so she could avoid answering.

"I don't know if I should tell you," Ginny said biting her lip nervously, "It's difficult to talk about."

"Please, everything is just a jumbled mess in my head, help me understand," Hermione pleaded.

Ginny glanced between her and the door. She sighed and nodded her head.

"Alright," she said lowering her voice and gesturing for Hermione to move to sit beside her.

"At the end of Third year..."

**FLASHBACK! **

"**How is Sirius?" Hermione questioned as she placed a picnic blanket on the floor.**

**They were still cleaning up the Shrieking shak, it was quite dusty and still swayed but they had been reassured by Remus that it was stable. Remus and Sirius had apparently casts spells on the building when they were still at Hogwarts, to make sure that the building wouldn't fall apart. It wouldn't do to have Remus break out one night and be wandering the nearby towns while in his werewolf form.**

"**Good I think," Ron replied levitating pieces off wood off the floor and piling them into the corner of the room, "Harry just got a letter from him today."**

"**That's good," Hermione said placing the picnic basket on the floor, "It's too bad Harry can't stay with him over the summer though. Can you help me set up Ron?"**

**Ron knelt down beside her and began placing the paper plates on the floor.**

"**We could have just asked Dobby to set up this for us," Ron said and she knew that a full on complaint was headed their way.**

"**Ron, he does enough at school. You just don't know what its like, I'm so tired from all the rubbish they make us do. How 'bout next time you be the servant and I'll be the Master. A little role playing will do you some good, I'll make you so tired you won't even be able to move."**

**She saw Ron's jaw drop and for some reason his face turned red.**

"**What?" she stared at him in confusion before she began taking the food out from the basket and placing it on the blanket.**

"**W-wonder why Harry isn't here yet?" Ron said after a strange silence fell on the room, "Think I'll go see what's taking him so long."**

"**But -"**

"**Be right back," he said before sprinting down the stairs.**

"**Ron!"**

"**Great, guess I'll set everything up on my own then," she said in exasperation, "Why's he acting so weird?"**

**Hermione stepped back and looked at the picnic in front of her in satisfaction. She glanced down at her watch in concern, it had been almost ten minutes now, why were Harry and Ron taking so long?**

**The room suddenly began to sway and Hermione had to grab onto the door frame to stop herself from falling.**

"**That couldn't have been just the wind," she said to herself as the room began to creak.**

**Dust fell on her and she looked up just as a loud crashing sound reverberated throughout the building.**

**The room began to shake and Hermione was thrown to the floor.**

**Panic set in and she tried to find her wand but she must have dropped it when she had fallen to the floor.**

**BANG! **

**BANG!**

**BANG!**

**A deafening crash like lightening echoed around her. She tried to stand but as the instant her feet touched the floor it gave way from beneath her. **

**She heard screaming and realised it was her own voice. **

**She was falling. **

**The whole building was falling and she with it.**

"**RON!" were the last words that left her mouth before darkness took her.**

* * *

"**What's that sound?" Harry questioned Ron.**

**He and Harry had run into some slytherins on their way to the Shrieking shak. He didn't think they had been gone that long. But as they approached the field where the building stood they both knew that something was wrong.**

**He had never seen it move like that before.**

**The next few seconds moved as though in slow motion. The building was standing upright one moment and the next it crumpled in upon itself.**

"**HERMIONE!" he screamed running towards the building.**

**He heard Harry screaming his name, calling him back but he wasn't going to stop.**

**Hermione was in that building - she couldn't - she couldn't -**

"**HERMIONE!" He screamed falling pulling out his wand and began lifting the rumble away from in front of him, "HERMIONE!"**

**He chanted her name over and over praying that she was -**

**NO! **

**She was alive, she had to be.**

**He heard rather than saw Harry and a few others arrive at the place where the building had once stood. They were all lifting the wood and pieces of broken furniture out of the rubble.**

**He knew people were speaking, but it was all background noise. He couldn't think, he felt as though blood were rushing to his head, he couldn't - **

"**Hermione!" he screamed once more ignoring the pain from his throat, he didn't know how long he had been there screaming her name over and over. He hadn't even noticed when it had started snowing.**

**He always thought snow was beautiful before but now - it was just another annoyance - another thing keeping him away from her.**

"**Hermione! Hermione! Hermione!"**

**He felt someone grab his arms trying to stop him. He pushed them away and continued lifting the rubble away.**

**Tears fell down his face. He didn't know when he had started crying but it wasn't because he was sad - it was the wind - it wasn't because -**

"**Ron!" Someone tried to grab him once more and he pushed them away again, he felt his wand fall to the ground.**

**The wind and snow made it impossible to see let alone find his wand, so he turned back and began pulling the wood away by hand.**

"**Hermione, Hermione!" he said over and over convinced that any moment she would respond**

**After - he didn't know how long he felt his legs give way and he fell onto the ground.**

**People helped him up and carried him away.**

"**No!" he cried out, "No! Hermione!"**

"**Ron we'll find her," someone said beside him.**

**Ron fought them and in the struggle he fell to the ground.**

"**Ron, are you -"**

**He pushed his way past them.**

**White. White all around him. The sounds of people calling his name.**

"**Hermione!" he called out running towards the building - where the building had once stood.**

**It was no use, his voice was carried away by the wind.**

**He felt his chest tighten. **

**He fell the ground exhausted and sobbing.**

"**Hermione, you can't be -"**

"**O-ooon - Ron..."**

**Ron sat up instantly.**

"**Hermione?"**

**His heart jumped and he ran towards the sound.**

"**Hermione!"**

"**Ron..."**

"**I found her!" he screamed, he didn't know if anyone could hear him but he continued running towards the sound.**

**He stopped and looked around him. Wood and snow was everywhere.**

"**HERMIONE?"**

"**Ron..."**

**Ron ran to his left where the sound was coming from and instantly began lifting whatever was in front of him away. His hands began to ache and he felt wood slice into them but he didn't care.**

**He had found her. She was fine. He would make sure of that.**

**A hand shot up and grabbed his own.**

**It was covered in blood and he saw deep cuts in her arm.**

"**Ron!" **

"**Hermione!"**

"**RON!" Hermione screamed back, her voice filled with pain and - **

_'_**_No, no time for that, just get her out of there!'_**

**He didn't know when the others had arrived but they were soon lifting Hermione out from under the rubble.**

**He tried to ignore the way her body was twisted at strange angles - and blood - Merlin the blood.**

"**Ron?" Hermione said in a soft voice, her voice barely audible in the wind and snow, "I knew -"**

**He held her close to him.**

"**Shh - you're safe now," he tried to reassure her, "It's fine now."**

**He saw his tears fall down onto her face mixing with blood as it slid down her cheek.**

"**I knew you'd come," she said a smile on her face before she closed her eyes, "I knew you'd find me."**

**END FLASHBACK!**

Hermione took a sharp intake of breathe.

"You were - " Ginny trembled as she spoke, "You were practically unrecognisable, we had to take you away to take care of you."

"To Shell Cottage?" Hermione guessed.

Ginny nodded.

"Yeah, we couldn't keep you at St Mungo's, not once we found out that it was actually Ron they were targeting."

"They?"

"Death Eaters," Ginny said in disgust, "They thought he was meeting Harry there."

Hermione felt herself grow cold.

"They were going to...Ron..."

"We thought it best to let them think that they were successful, that they really had gotten Ron instead of you. And besides, he wouldn't leave your side..."

Hermione looked up at Ginny when she trailed off. She didn't know how she felt about that, Ron had stayed beside her the whole time, never giving up on finding her.

"He blamed the whole thing on himself of course," Ginny explained, "He wasn't going to let anyone or anything hurt you again."

Hermione felt her vision begin to blur as tears fell down her face.

"Ron..." she felt her throat tighten, no words would come, it was too painful.

"Yeah," Ginny said in understanding.

"All that was real..." she said more to herself than Ginny, "We spent a whole year together?"

"You were unconscious for the first few months but yeah, the rest of the time you were alone there..."

"He took care of me?" Hermione said in disbelief.

"Y-you two..." Ginny began slowly, walking over to sit beside Hermione on the bed, "You guys didn't - I mean - when you were together..."

Ginny trailed off and Hermione finally looked up at her.

"Could that be why he was so upset before?" She questioned Ginny, "Perhaps something happened and I don't remember...perhaps we..."

They both jumped in fright when Dobby appeared in the room once more.

"Merlin's beard!" Ginny exclaimed.

"Dobby has asked Dumby-dore," Dobby handed the bracelets back to Hermione, "Says they are no longer enchanted, safe to wear."

"Oh thank you Dobby," Ginny said gratefully she walked over to Harry's bed and picked up a scarf, "Here you go, I'm sure Harry won't mind."

Hermione watched as the little elf began crying. Large tears fell down his little face.

"D-d-dobby s-sso grateful to Missy Weasey," he wailed quickly drenching the scarf.

Ginny knelt down beside Dobby.

"Did Dumbledore say anything else?" Ginny questioned clearly unfazed by the house elfs reaction.

"Ye-yes," Dobby hiccuped as he hugged the scarf closely, "He would like to speak with Mr Weasey."

"Ron?"

The house elf nodded at Ginny.

"Okay, thanks Dobby."

The house elf smiled at them before he disappeared from the room.

Hermione watched Ginny stand back up again, a look of confusion on her face. She saw the curiosity and familiarity in Ginny's eyes. She trusted Ginny, now that she sat here looking at Ron's sister, she was certain that a part of her had always trusted Ginny. Even when her memory was wiped or altered...actually how did that happen?

"Did you guys wipe my memory or something? How did you manage to erase all those years from my mind and implant new memories? That's incredibly complicated magic not to mention dangerous!"

She jumped up from the bed. She felt a shiver run through her.

"You altered my memories," she said in barely a whisper.

"Even if I trusted you before, how can I possibly trust you now?" she questioned turning to stare at Ginny.

Ginny frowned.

"We didn't," was all she said in response.

"What?" Hermione wasn't sure she had heard that right.

Ginny sighed and looked away from her.

"We didn't Hermione. Think about it," her friend turned back to look at her, "Who amoung us would have that kind knowledge? Who else would risk themselves for Harry and Ron?"

Hermione felt the world shake from beneath her and after the memory that Ginny had just shared with her the feeling made her feel physically sick.

Her hands shook as she reached up and held head in disbelief.

"I - I erased my own memories?"

Ginny eyes began to glisten with tears as she nodded.

"You and Ron were just about to return to school, you were completely healed and were about to leave Shell cottage," Ginny eyes narrowed as she looked at Hermione, "He must have been calling your name for a while, when you didn't respond he went up to your room and found you lying unconscious on the floor."

Hermione felt her skin begin to crawl. The expression on Ginny's face - if looks could kill she would be a pile of dust on the floor.

"Why did you have to do it Hermione? We could have figured something out, but you went ahead and did what you thought was the best plan."

Hermione felt her throat tighten as she watched Ginny cry in front of her.

"Do you even know what that did to Ron?" Ginny's voice broke when she said her brother's name, "He thought you were dead once and that almost destroyed him, how do you think he reacted when he found you on the floor like that? You erased him - all of us - from your life."

Hermione felt her mouth drop. She couldn't think of what to say.

Did she really do those things? Surely she would know that it would hurt Ron. She felt pain pulse through her.

'_**Why would I do that?'**_

"I didn't explain my reasons?"

"Yes you did," Ginny stood up from the bed and stepped up to her. They stood face to face. Ginny now looked furious, almost as though she was going to physically hit Hermione.

"We were going to send you back home, back to the muggle world," Ginny face became angrier by the second, "You and Ron had argued for weeks about it, he didn't want you to come back to Hogwarts but you were convinced that you would be safe, that you could take care of yourself."

Hermione felt her chest tighten once more, she found it difficult to breath.

"Then on the day you were going to leave Shell Cottage, the day Ron was going to take you back to your parents, you erased your memories and left a note - A NOTE!"

Hermione's eyes widened when Ginny shouted.

"You ordered Ron to take you back to Hogwarts, said that you would be fine. You would find a way to help us even without your memories...The Hermione he knew - we knew, was gone, you might as well have been dead."

Hermione took a step back in shock, but Ginny followed her.

"He's lost you twice now," Ginny continued, her bottled emotions clearly overflowing now, "Now he finds out that in actual fact you do remember him, that the girl he cares for more than anyone else in the world is standing in front of him -"

"But I'm not," Hermione said weakly, "I only remember a few details, my memories are still - I still don't know who I am!"

Hermione felt some of her strength return.

"I don't remember who I was before, I can't be judged on things I don't even remember doing!"

For a second Ginny's expression looked exactly like her brother's when he was about to attack someone for calling her a mudblood, how she knew that she didn't know nor did she know how she felt about that.

Before Ginny could shout or whatever it was she wanted to do, there was a knock on the door.

"Put the bracelets on, quickly."

Hermione did as she was told and tried to rearrange her face.

"Come in," Ginny said in a surprisingly unaffected voice.

"Hey Ginny," A dark skinned boy said stepping into the room, he looked surprised to see Hermione there but he ignored her for a moment.

"Dean," Ginny greeted earning a smile from the boy.

"You better come see this," he said motioning his head outside, "Some Slytherin chick is trying to get into - "

Before he could finish Hermione and Ginny shared one look between them and sprinted down the stairs.

They reached the bottom to find the common room crowded. All the Gryffindors were restless and several were shouting at the portrait which seemed to refuse to open the entrance.

"If she opens it, the Slytherin will get in," Dean said from behind them.

Hermione saw he was breathless as well, having chased after them down the stairs.

"Where's Harry?"

She saw Dean frown at the mention of Harry's name.

"Saw him chase after your brother out of the room a few minutes before all this commotion began."

"Do you know what she looks like?" Ginny questioned the boy beside her.

"No," he shook his head.

Ginny looked annoyed at this and she turned to Hermione whispering.

"We should find Ron and Harry. But how do we get out of here?"

Hermione thought for a moment.

"We could use the servants entrance," she offered.

"Oh yeah, that's perfect," Ginny eyes lit up at the suggestion, she turned to look at Dean, "We're going to look for my brother."

"Wait," Dean grabbed Ginny's arm just as they began to make their way through the crowd "Why - How?"

"Because he'll want to know about this," Ginny explained quickly before trying to pull her arm away.

"I'll come with you," Dean said walking closer to them.

"No," Ginny finally managed to pull her arm free from his grasp, "This is family stuff."

"Well Harry's not family," Dean frowned at her.

"What is with you?" Ginny said in exasperation, "I thought Micheal set you straight already."

"I don't see why you're dating that guy, he's a Ravenclaw."

Ginny made a disgusted sound before she pulled Hermione through the crowd and they walked up to the concealed servants entrance.

"Let's go," Ginny said though she sounded less enthusiastic now.

Hermione pushed against the wall and the bookshelf disappeared. They stepped through into the hidden corridor. The sound of the common room disappeared as the wall slid back into place.

"Lumos," Ginny cast the spell and the dark staircase was flooded with light.

"Are you okay?" she questioned the red head after a moments silence.

"Fine," Ginny said, though everything about her demeanor said the opposite.

Hermione still wasn't sure about how close their relationship was or is - she just didn't want to assume, so she continued walking down the staircase.

"Here," Hermione stopped at a door that opened to the moving staircases.

She was about to open the door when Ginny grabbed her arm. Hermione turned and Ginny motioned her back.

"What's wrong?" Hermione whispered.

"Malfoy," Ginny whispered.

Hermione looked around before leading Ginny back a few steps, she removed a painting from the wall revealing a few cracks in the wall.

"We can see them through here," she explained.

A group of Slytherins were laughing and walking up the stairs towards them.

Hermione's eyes widened when she spotted Malfoy leading the pack. She and Ginny moved back into the shadows just in case.

"She actually just packed her things and went up there?" they heard one of the boys say incredulously.

"I know, what a complete moron," another boy laughed.

The group walked up the stairs, and were directly above them when Malfoy stopped.

"Would you two shut up!" he ordered, "That stupid bitch, I don't know why my Dad thought she would make a good spy."

"She's so ugly she belongs with the rest of those Gryffindor dogs," another boy laughed.

"I said shut up! Do you think I won't curse you just because you're in Slytherin?" Malfoy shouted at the boy.

"We're going to get her and drag her back with us," Malfoy continued, "She better learn her place."

With those words the group continued up the stairs.

They waited a few minutes in silence, watching the boys disappear around the corner.

"What was that about?" Hermione questioned Ginny.

Ginny looked back at her in concern.

"I don't know, lets just find Ron."

Hermione nodded her head and the two walked out of the shadows and towards the doors that lead outside.

Just as they stepped out the door, someone called their names. Harry was running down the stairs towards them.

"We were just going to go find you," Ginny explained.

"I know," He motioned for them to follow and they ran back up the stairs with him.

"We were heading back to the common room when we saw a Slytherin trying to get inside," Harry explained as they ran.

"Ron's fiance?" Ginny guessed.

"Yeah," Harry said looking back at them for a second, "She said she was going to move into the Gryffindor tower."

"Can she?" Hermione wondered aloud.

"I don't know," Harry answered honestly, "Ron's with her now trying to talk to her about it."

"We saw Malfoy, I think he might -"

"Yeah," Harry cut Ginny off, "I hid under my invisibility cloak when I saw him, I wanted to go find you, I thought he might have done something to you guys."

"Harry you idiot! You left Ron to handle Malfoy alone?" Ginny gritted her teeth angrily.

"Oh shit!" Harry cursed now sprinting up the stairs, "We better get back quick."

"Will Malfoy hurt him?" Hermione heard herself say, surprised at the concern she heard in her voice, "It's not like Ron will fight Malfoy - will he?"

Ginny glanced back at her before answering.

"He's an emotional wreak right now, he's not going to be thinking clearly. He's going to return to being his usual hot-headed self."

Hermione frowned at this.

"From my memories, wasn't he always that way?"

Harry stared at her in surprise.

"He was," Harry began, "But after what happened, after that year - he changed. We think something must have happened at Shell Cottage, but he was a completely different person when he returned to Hogwarts."

"Harry, give Hermione the invisibility cloak," Ginny ordered as they turned a corner to the Gryffindor portrait.

Harry threw the cloak over her and they all slowed to a normal pace as they approached the crowd.

She couldn't see Ron or the girl but she did hear shouting.

Hermione grabbed onto Ginny's arm as they moved closer to Malfoy and Ron.

Ron was standing his clenched hands on each side of him as he glared at Malfoy.

Malfoy and his Slytherin followers were shouting obscenities, but not at Ron. They were shouting at a girl.

"You're as good as a mudblood!"

"Blood traitor!"

"Crazy little bitch!"

Hermione stared at them in confusion. Why were they being so mean to a fellow Slytherin, someone who was on their side?

"Shut up!"

Hermione turned when Malfoy spoke. She felt a cold shiver run through her when he smiled.

"Come here Helena," he said in a deceptively calm and friendly voice.

'That must be her name,' Hermione realised moving closer to look at the girl who had attracted so much attention. She hadn't been able to see before because Ron was standing in front of her.

"Weasley, step aside," Malfoy said in an exasperated voice.

She saw Ron's jaw clench but he did as Malfoy ordered.

Hermione was surprised at what she saw. She didn't know what she expected but the girl who stood meekly to the side of Ron was not what she expected his fiance to look like.

She had pale almost translucent like skin and was of average height, though her thin figure made her seem taller. She had blond hair that was pulled up in a untidy bun, a few wispy strands falling loose and messy. She had an angular face framed by round glasses, the lenses of which were so thick that they made her eyes seem almost comical. As Hermione watched her she was reminded of a praying-mantis insect. She had on her Slytherin uniform, the green colour completing the insect effect.

"Helena," Malfoy said again.

"I am to stay here," the girl finally spoke as she began to fidget and tug at her sleeve.

"Who told you that?" Malfoy continued with more patience than Hermione thought he would possess.

"Your father," Helena replied.

Silence.

This seemed to settle it. The Slytherins looked at Malfoy nervously. Malfoy gritted his teeth and his anger returned to the surface.

"You might have told us that," he spat back before recollecting himself and saying in a calmer tone, "How could you just leave like that? We were all very worried about you."

Hermione wanted to scoff, no one would have believed that he felt concern for the girl.

Malfoy took a step towards Helena, Ron moved to stand in front of her once more. Hermione felt something twist inside her when he did that. It seemed wrong for him to be protective of another girl. That thought disturbed her and she pushed it aside for the time being.

"Just saying goodbye Weasel," Malfoy side stepping Ron.

Hermione felt herself tense when he reached over and grabbed Helena's arm. He moved close to her and whispered something in her ear, then stepped back.

Helena just stared at him and watched as he and his Slytherin followers walked away.

"Alright would you let us in now," Ron said in an exasperated voice.

"Very well," the Portrait Lady said, "But only because a Gryffindor is asking me."

"Honestly, no one tells me anything anymore," the Portrait lady grumbled.

Ron and Helena stood alone now. Harry and Ginny walked over to them and Hermione followed, still hidden beneath the invisibility cloak.

"Um, are you alright?" Ginny asked the girl.

"Yes," Helena replied simply.

"Well let's go," Ron said walking through the portrait hole.

They watched Helena step in after Ron before Harry spoke.

"That was weird," he said to Ginny.

"She's weird," Ginny replied.

"What do you mean?" Harry said.

"The way she talks," Hermione answered, causing the other two to start.

"Merlin," Ginny said looking at the space where she stood, "I forgot you were here."

"Ginny!"

They all turned when a Ravenclaw approached them.

"Where've you been?" the boy asked Ginny.

"Hi Micheal," Ginny greeted the boy, "Listen we need to talk."

"Ill ask him about the bracelets," Ginny whispered to them before walking off with the boy.

As though hearing her unspoken question Harry spoke.

"They're - um - dating."

"Ah," was all she said in response.

* * *

"So who is she?" Ginny asked her brother.

They were all sitting in the kitchen storage room the next day, the same room that she and Ron had dinner a few weeks earlier. But after everything that has happened that felt years ago.

Helena hadn't really spoken to anyone in the Gryffindor house, she ignored them as much as they did her. Hermione had heard a few students saying that she was a snob, that she thought she was better than the rest of them because she was a Slytherin. Hermione for the most part was confused. Since she was still pretending to be Ron's servants she had to set up Helena's bed.

She had a separate room, so many students had left the school that Helena was able to have a room all to herself. Hermione felt a bit strange putting green and silver bed sheets in a Gryffindor room but she did as she was told all the while keeping a watchful eye on the girl.

Helena of course didn't say a word to Hermione, she didn't even speak to the Gryffindors, she was hardly going to speak to a servant. But still - Hermione wondered to herself, if she was supposed to infiltrate the Gryffindor tower, why was she being so cold towards all of them? Shouldn't she be trying to get close to them?

That's what they all wanted to discuss tonight. They had all decided to meet in the kitchens that night. Harry and Ron had just come back from Quidditch training and none of them felt comfortable back at the Gryffindor tower, the feeling that at any moment Helena would walk in on them and wonder why they were spending time with a servant.

"Her name is Helena Lawson," Ron explained chewing on a breadstick.

"Wait," Ginny said in disbelief, "Not Lawson - as in -"

"Yep, that Lawson."

"Wow, talk about connections," Ginny said in response.

"Hang on, who is she?" Harry said, which made Hermione glad cause she was about to say the same thing.

"Helena Lawson," Ron repeated, "As in 'Artemis Lawson' granddaughter."

"Campaigner for the suppression of trolls," Hermione said automatically.

Everyone turned to look at her.

"Yeah," Ron furrowed his brows as he stared at her before turning away.

"And you're sure she's not following us around?" Harry said tensely.

"She's a bit difficult to miss," Ron replied, "Feel like she might poke me in the face with those glasses."

Harry laughed at this but Ginny just rolled her eyes.

"Don't you think that's odd," Hermione cut in, "Of all the people they could choose, why her?"

"I can answer that, I heard stuff when I was working at the Ministry over the holidays," Ron explained, "Apparently her dad is in financial difficulty and has been trying to get on the Ministers good side for a while now."

"Are you kidding me?" Ginny said in disbelief.

"What, why?" Harry said.

"The Lawsons are old money, Helena's family goes back generations, all purebloods, all fithly rich. They're up there with the Malfoys in social standing."

"On the surface yeah," Ron stood up from his seat and stretched, "But they've been hemorrhaging money for the last few years."

"He - mor - what?" Ginny stared at her brother in confusion.

"When you lose blood from..." Harry trailed off, "Ron how do you know that word?"

Ron sighed and looked at them.

"I spent a year with Hermione, what do you think we did?"

After he spoke Ron's face went red as he realised what he had just said.

"We read!" he said quickly, "We read a lot and played that infuriating muggle game, 'scrabble'."

"Oh, I love that game!" Hermione said happily.

"Yes, I know," Ron said irritably, "I remember. Look, if we're done, I'm going to bed."

Without waiting for an answer he pushed aside the curtain and left the storage room.

"Don't worry about him," Ginny reassured her, "He's just annoyed about the whole fiance thing."

Hermione nodded her head but she and everyone else in the room knew that that wasn't the reason why Ron was so short tempered around them lately.

"Would you join us for breakfast tomorrow?" Ginny asked her breaking into her inner reverie.

"Breakfast?"

"Yeah, we need an extra set of eyes to watch the Slytherins and Helena," Harry added moving to stand beside Ginny.

"Wait," Hermione said slowly, "You mean to eat with you in the Great hall?"

She stared at the them in disbelief.

"Well, you won't be able to eat, just stand next to Ron, but you'll still be able to see things we might miss," Ginny explained.

"Is that allowed?"

"You used to do it all the time - _before_."

'_**Before.' **_

They were all using that word a lot lately.

'_**Before. After.' **_Words to describe the change in their lives. To describe the moments before and after the incident at the Shrieking Shak.

"Alright," she agreed, "I want to help however I can."

"Okay, we better get going," Harry patted her on the shoulder before walking out of the room.

"Oh and don't forget about Hogsmeade," Ginny said before she followed Harry.

"I won't," she said more to herself than anyone else.

It had felt like years since Ron had asked her to come with him. So much had changed in such a short time.

Hermione sighed and stared at the curtain in front of her.

Everything was changing. But rather than getting closer, she and Ron were getting further and further apart.

Every now and then she would catch him staring at her, it unerved her, the expression on his face - that yearning in his eyes. Almost like he was expecting her to suddenly remember something, anything.

Hermione sighed.

She hadn't had any visions lately. Just when she wanted to remember something they stopped.

Like some twisted cosmic joke, even worse, now that she knew that she was the one who was responsible for what happened. Why would she go to such lengths just to stay with Ron?

She felt a voice whispering something in response but the thought was still too disturbing for her to accept.

She shook her head.

"I have to remember what happened between us," she said in determination standing up from her seat.

"I must remember."

* * *

**Author's Notes (AN):**

**This chapter took so long to write, mostly because so much is going on that I felt emotionally exhausted and physically sick after a few paragraphs. I hope at least quetions have been answered in this chapter. Please comment and tell me what you think, other than that you are still confused. **

**It also occurs to me that I haven't told you what song _Ron_**** was singing to Hermione at Shell Cottage and while she was sleeping at the beginning of the last chapter, it's pretty much Ron's theme song in this story so I think you may be interested. Here's the title and a link to the youtube video so you can hear it, just replace the _ with . for the youtube link to work:**

"Every Little Thing' By Dishwalla

http:/www_youtube_com/watch?v=PiGrgDq_H9g

**What to expect next chapter:**

**- More about Helena and her true motives**

**- We go to Hogsmeade :)**

**- Hermione tries to deal with her feelings for Ron**

**Response to reviews/comments:**

**Wow! A lot of reviews last chapter...well here we go then :)**

**You know who: **Harry and Ginny aren't together unfortunately, I'm keeping it within the OotP storyline as much as I can, she's with Michael Corner right now.

**pearls-and-crystals-blues:** Am I evil? LOL don't worry its not the first time I've been accused of being evil :) And thank you again for commenting 3

**Caelestis Amor:** I thought I did too :) I love doing that and then having the readers get a little 'Oh yeah' moment. Glad you're enjoying the story and thanks for the encouragement it really does mean a lot to me.

**ObsessedRHShipper:** Thanks, hope this chapter has cleared some things up for you.

**wow60:** Not much about Helena in this one, but definately more about her story next chapter. I'm excited to tell you all about her :)

**JaeCee**: :) Thank you for your kind words! And thanks for your advice.

**RoN**: I hope you enjoyed this chapter and feel free to ask questions and I'll answer them if I can. And yeah, it always feels great to get feedback 3

**celticscorpion**: Phew! Finally someone who doesn't just say that they are confused lol it can be wearisome to constantly read comments saying that they are confused, even though I understand that a lot of questions are still up in the air, its nice to hear that people are beginning to understand this story :) And I look forward to slowly revealing more about Helena, it definately took me a long time to flesh out her character in my head before I was comfortable introducing her to everyone. Thanks for the comments.

**bookworm8721**: LOL confused? join the cue :) but I am glad you are starting to understand.

**AngelicKat445**: LMAO! I hope all your questions have been answered in this question.

**55ironpen**: Wow! Thank you so much! Comments like yours encourage me to continue otherwise I get depressed that all my hard work is not really having the impact its supposed to. Thank you! 3

**firefairy2917**: lol Hermione hitting Ron? I think he's been through enough don't you?

**remediallullaby**: I hope you enjoyed this chapter, sorry for the long wait between the chapters.

**connieewing**: Thank you! I hope you had a fantastic vacation :)

**dream-injection**: You may want to read the FAQ I posted at the end of Chapter 9 (listed as Chapter 10 in the drop down bar), if you haven't already, but I hope some questions were answered in this chapter. I'm glad you are enjoying my little story lol please don't curse me :) Yeah that mirror scene was so hard to write, that and the Shrieking Shak memory in this chapter :(

**OverTheMoon42**: It was wasn't it, I didn't realise until I read your comment, but this chapter was long right? At least it felt that way, either way, I'll try to keep the lengths consistent. Thank you for reading and commenting!

**xo i love emmet xo**: Glad you're enjoying the story, sorry about the confusion :(


	13. I'm Sorry

**Chapter 12 - I'm Sorry**

Hermione felt humiliated.

She wanted to dig a whole in the ground and just disappear.

"You look.." Ginny trailed off and looked at the clothes Hermione had on.

"I-it's actually kinda -" Harry burst out laughing and wasn't able to finish his sentence.

Hermione let out a frustrated growl.

"I look ridiculous!" She cried turning around to look at herself in the full length mirror of the boys dorm.

Only half an hour earlier she had walked up the boys room, feeling nervous and yet excited about having breakfast with them all. It had been such a long time since she had last been in the Great Hall that she was getting quite nostalgic.

When Harry opened the door allowing her into their room, she found confused looks on all their faces.

Harry cocked his head to one side and looked her up and down.

She didn't realise what was wrong at first. After all this is what she had always worn, her Gryffindor uniform. No one had said anything before, but then again other than splitting her time in the kitchens and dormitory she spent very little time elsewhere.

Ginny had been sitting on the bed but the instant Hermione entered she approached her.

"Hermione, what are you wearing?" Ginny said in surprise.

Hermione stared at her in bewilderment and checked her uniform to see if she had forgotten to button up her shirt - but no, definitely buttoned up.

"My uniform," she said in bewilderment.

Ginny sighed and turned to her brother.

"Ron," she said accusingly, "You didn't tell her?!"

Ron, Hermione noticed was standing against the wall his arms folded and a scowl on his face. He turned away from her and looked out the window.

"I don't think she should go," Ron said in a tone that indicated that the three of them had been having this conversation for quite some time before she arrived at the door.

Ginny marched up to her brother grabbed his shirt collar pulling him down to her eye level.

"Hand - it - over!"

Hermione's eyes widened slightly and she blushed when Ron looked up at her. She still felt uncomfortable when he looked at her, like he was expecting her to say something - do something - but she didn't know what. She was pretty sure she knew the kind of girl she was but when he looked at her she felt as though he expected her to be someone she wasn't. Right now, for instance the way he had looked at her, it was like he wanted her to speak - to say the right words - to solve everyone's problems.

When she blushed and looked away from him instead she heard an exasperated sigh from him in response.

"Fine," he said in resignation.

She looked back to find him rummaging through his chest of clothes at the foot of his bed. He pulled out a few items and threw them on the bed.

"Enjoy," he said in a sarcastic tone but she noticed something smug in his expression.

Hermione stepped towards the bed warily. She could feel all their eyes watching her.

Her eyes dropped to the bed and her mouth with it.

"NO - FREAKIN - WAY!" She said instantly.

She looked up and found a satisfied look on Ron's face.

"Hermione, come on, we need your help," Ginny pleaded, "It's just for a - little..."

While she was talking Ginny had been stepping closer to the bed and her voice trailed off as she spoke.

"Um..." Harry said slowly, "That's...different."

"RON!"

Hermione and Harry winced back when Ginny screamed Ron's name.

"Ginny, merlin, calm down!" Harry said while rubbing his ears.

They all turned to look at the outfit on the bed.

There lying very innocently on the bed was a very typical maids outfit but in the Gryffindor Gold and Red colours. If that were all then Hermione would have worn the clothes, she would have complained that the skirt was perhaps a little too short but it was actually quite nicely made. But it was the added stitching that made the outfit too humiliating to even contemplate wearing.

**FOR RONALD WEASLEY'S HANDS ONLY.**

"So this isn't normal?" Hermione said having regained her voice.

"No it isnt," Ginny said through gritted teeth glaring at her brother.

Harry on the other hand was shaking from the effort of not laughing out loud.

"Okay look, I can just wear what I've got on right now, no biggie," Hermione said stepping back from the outfit.

"No, you can't," Ginny said looking away from her brother, who was sitting on the bed with a smug look on his face, clearly satisfied that Hermione wouldn't be going with them to the Great hall.

"You have to wear the servants uniform if you go with your master outside the Gryffidor Tower," Harry explained.

"I know I don't remember a lot," Hermione said looking at the outfit once more, "but I'd think I'd remember wearing that."

"Well it didn't always look like this," Harry said quickly when Ginny's face turned red and she turned back to glare at her brother.

"Don't look at me," Ron said getting up off the bed, "Hermione's the one who did it."

Ron looked at her as though expecting her to agree.

"Uh..." was all she said in response.

"When was this?" Ginny questioned her brother looking unconvinced.

To everyone's surprise Ron's face turned completely red and he began tugging at his ear nervously.

"Um...last year..." Ron said coughing slightly so that his words were hard to understand.

"What did you say?" Harry questioned his friend.

"Can't you just undo the stitching or something," Hermione wondered aloud feeling her own face growing hot though she couldn't understand why _she_ was embarrassed.

"Um..." Ron began slowly, "Well, you used magic to do it and...."

If possible his face became even redder.

"Like I said before," Ron said changing the subject, "just let Hermione stay here. It'll cause more trouble than its worth bringing her to the Great Hall."

"Surely I can get another uniform," Hermione suggested.

"We'd have to go buy a new one," Ginny sighed, "They're magically enchanted in the same way that your bracelets were, they mark you as Ron's property. If you go outside Hogwarts for instance and you are wearing this uniform than you would be considered as Ron's property, no one can take you, no one can harm you...or at least that's the law."

"It's really the only time you could walk beyond Hogwarts walls and still be considered as a servant, as belonging to a pureblood," Harry continued.

"I see," Hermione said as understanding dawned on her, "And where can we get another one?"

She looked at the outfit distastefully.

"Just wear it today," Ginny said encouragingly, "We can get a new pair when we go to Hogsmeade tomorrow. As long as Ron buys you another uniform it should be fine."

Hermione nodded her head in agreement. She wanted to help them anyway she could but this just seemed too surreal to her. She picked up the shirt and heard a gasp.

Ginny's eyes had narrowed and she spun around to glare at Ron.

"Don't look at me," he said holding up his hands, "It's Hermione who enchanted her own clothes."

Harry meanwhile had bursted out laughing and was only able to stand up because he was holding onto a bed post.

"Wha -" was all Hermione was able to say before she turned the shirt around and found even more stitching there.

**WEASLEY IS MY KING.**

* * *

"I feel ridiculous," Hermione grumbled as they walked down the stairs to the Great Hall.

"It's only for a little while," Ginny comforted as they approached the doors of the Great Hall.

"Remember, don't speak to anyone and don't look at any of the Slytherins, understand?" Ron said to her as they walked towards the Gryffindor table.

Hermione nodded her head and stared at the ground.

The group stopped and she saw them all sit down.

Ginny lifted up her napkin so that her mouth was hidden as she spoke.

"Pour Ron some juice," she whispered and Hermione instantly did as she was told.

"Nice shirt mudblood!" she heard someone call from across the room.

Hermione narrowed her eyes and was just about to turn around to see who had spoken but Ron's voice stopped her.

"Get me that strawberry jam," he said pointing at a jar right next to him.

Hermione quickly grabbed it and leant over to hand it to him, just as she was about to stand up again he whispered to her.

"Don't - look - at - the - Slytherins."

Hermione tilted her head to show she understood. She didn't think she would feel so nervous, Ron had just told her not two minutes earlier the exact same thing and she had thought it strange of him to repeat that single command over and over but the instant they had sat down all those words of advice they had given her were forgotten. She felt her palms become sweaty and she fixed her eyes on the plates of Harry and Ron in front of her.

Several times she heard jeers from all around her but she tried her best to push them aside. She did every now and then glance around the room and was able to notice a few other servants walking around and helping their Masters. She felt quite disappointed now, even though she was back in the Great Hall she wasn't really seeing much of it, except its stone floors.

How on earth was she supposed to help them if she was just staring at the floor.

Her eyes returned to the person in front of her.

Ron was wearing his Gryffindor uniform. Hermione stared at white button shirt in front of her. She didn't know if it was from sheer boredom or because her eyes were tired but she suddenly felt a strange tingling sensation run through her body.

_**'Were his shoulders always so broad?' **_She wondered to herself after a while, a sense of deja vu passing over her.

The shirt began to swim in front of her eyes and she felt a giddy sensation as a strange thought popped into her head.

She didn't know why but for some strange reason she wanted to touch that shirt. She wanted to reach out and touch...Ron...

Hermione gasped.

Ron turned back to look at her.

She shook her head trying to tell him that she was fine - also she wanted him to stop looking at her. Those eyes made her body feel like she was on fire.

He looked at her for a moment longer.

"More juice," he said and she reached over and poured him some more pumpkin juice.

She hoped it wasn't too obvious how much her hands were shaking but since most of the juice ended up on the table rather than in the cup she was pretty sure Ron at least noticed. What's worse was that as she was placing the jug back on the table and standing back up she saw a look of realisation on his face.

Hermione felt her face burn.

He knew. He knew exactly why she was acting so strangely.

She saw a small smile on his face as he watched her stand back up before a slight blush appeared on his face.

_**'Oh crap!' **_was all she was thinking.

Her panic was temporarily put aside when she saw something out of the cornor of her eye.

Helena had just walked into the Great Hall. She walked up to the Gryffindor table and sat down. A few Gryffindors moved away from her until Helena was sitting on her own at the end of the table. This didn't seem to faze her though and Helena simply began grabbing some milk before eating her breakfast.

_**'Strange,' **_Hermione thought to herself.

"Slytherins," she heard Harry whisper into his napkin and Hermione was about to lower her eyes to the floor once more.

Although she bent her head, her eyes remained fixed on Helena.

A group of Slytherin girls walked up to her and sat down beside her.

Helena continued eating as though they weren't even there. The girls began talking to Heleana, one reached over and pushed some of her hair behind her ears. Then they all stood up.

Helena, her face still unreadable, followed the girls out of the Great hall. They disappeared around the corner and were gone.

Hermione leaned over and whispered to Ron.

"Should I -"

"No," Ron replied before she could even finish, "Don't worry about her."

"But -"

"Hermione," Ron said in a warning tone and she instantly stopped talking, she hadn't realised it but several people were now staring at her.

She wondered why but then realised that she had unconsciously placed a hand on Ron's shoulder when she had begun to protest. She quickly removed her arm and stood back up.

Hermione felt someone walk past her, before Helena sat down beside Ron.

"Uh..." Ron said staring at Helena, "Can I help you?"

"I am to sit here," Helena said in response before grabbing a bowl of oatmeal.

"Okay," Ron said slowly turning to give Harry and Ginny a confused look.

Ginny from across the table narrowed her eyes at Helena but no one said anything more.

The rest of the meal continued on much more quietly. But still Hermione thought it strange that Helena made no attempt to talk to them.

Breakfast was soon over and Hermione followed Ron and the others out of the room.

"You should go clean up my room," Ron said to her when she began to follow them towards the classroom.

"You're not ready," Ron whispered to her when he noticed her expression.

And she knew he was right. A meal in the Great Hall was quite nerve wreaking, she needed more practice at ignoring comments and knowing how a servant was supposed to act before she would be prepared for a classroom setting.

She nodded her head and began walking up the stairs towards the Gryffindor tower.

_**'At least I can get out of this stupid - '**_

Hermione stopped suddenly when she saw the same Slytherin girls from earlier pushing Helena against a wall. Helena hit the wall and fell to the ground.

"Do your job properly," one of the girls said before they all turned and began walking away.

Hermione panicked and instantly opened a nearby cupboard and hid inside. Once she heard them pass the door she stepped back outside.

As she was closing the door someone bumped into her.

It was a Hufflepuff boy. She had never seen him before but he looked like a sixth year student. As he walked away from her she noticed that he was quite tall with blond hair, she hadn't gotten a good look at his face as he walked past her but he appeared to be quite good looking.

_**'Nothing to Ron of course,'**_ a voice inside her head said which Hermione instantly told to shut up.

"Lena," the blond Hufflepuff called in recognition running up to Helena who was still on the floor picking up her fallen books.

Hermione's eyes widened in shock.

Helena's glasses must have fallen off when she fell, her eyes as they were now were the most intense shade of blue that Hermione had ever seen. Ron's eyes were blue but not like this. Those thick glasses always made her eyes look so strange that the colour seemed to drain out of them. Now from where she stood Hermione could see clearly the dark cobalt blue of Helena's eyes.

"Milly," Helena greeted the boy in surprise, then something happened which Hermione would never forget.

Helena smiled.

It didn't sound that extraordinary but considering that Helena never seemed to show any emotion whatsoever, not even when those Slytherins had pushed her and threatened her, the small lift of her lips made Hermione question everything she had thought she knew about the girl.

She had, and she wasn't alone in this belief, that Helena had simply believed herself better than anyone else thus her cold attitude towards not only Gryffindors but to everyone. Yes her family was rich and pureblood, and even if they were losing money as Ron had told them, but her family was still well respected at least that's the impression she had gotten from the school history books.

Hermione inched closer but moved into the shadows, curious more than ever about the girl. The way that Helena and the boy were interacting, it was bizarre. Helena was acting - well normal. And this whole time all she had ever thought when she saw Ron's fiance was that she was weird. She continued to watch the pair, as a thought slowly formed in her mind, a thought that she knew would be the answer to most, if not all their questions.

"You alright?" the boy who Helena had called Milly, questioned, "You fell over again?"

The way he had spoken, it seemed as though Helena was naturally clumsy, but as far as she could recall, Helena had never tripped, dropped fragile items or lose her balance more than the ordinary person. No, as far as Hermione could tell, Helena was completely normal, if not oddly more stable, at times she seemed to almost float around. Hermione had shared this thought with the others and Ron had snorted and said he wouldn't be surprised if Helena woke up one day as a ghost and continued on as if nothing had happened, much like one of the teachers had.

Ron couldn't understand why she was so obsessed with Helena. Hermione on the other hand couldn't understand why he was so blaise over the fact that he was engaged to get married. She had tried to bring this up in conversation once or twice and he sighed and rolled his eyes and said if she would only remember what had happened last year she wouldn't be asking him that question.

This had infuriated her.

Sure, he had every right to bring up the fact that there were moments in time that she didn't remember and he even had the right to be angry at her for purposefully erasing those memories from her mind, but considering she didn't remember doing any of the things he said she did, she felt it quite unfair to be constantly put on the spot like that.

He had moved on from just staring expectantly at her, and had now started to openly discuss things that they had done or mention things she had said in the past as though waiting for a light to go off in her head and for her to suddenly remember.

Well tough luck for him, her mind didn't work that way, a fact that she found more infuriating than she was sure he did. Especially considering how she felt about him, that strange nagging feeling that she cared what happened to him, that it bothered her when he was gone from her sight still remained no matter how much she ignored it.

She heard Helena mumble something and her attention returned to the people in front of her.

"I'm fine," Helena shrugged and began picking up her books. The hufflepuff pulled out his wand and arranged them in a neat stack for her.

"There we go," he said handing the pile of books to Helena.

"Thank you," Helena said her face softening as she looked at the boy.

The boy helped her back up and Helena gave him another grateful smile.

"I've told you a million times to get new glasses," the boy chided Helena as he picked them off of the floor.

"But mum bought them for me," Helena said and by the way the boy sighed in response it was obvious that they had had the same conversation quite a few times before.

"Yeah, I know," He said handing them back to her, "But you're constantly falling over and hurting yourself."

Helena looked down at the ground at his words.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he questioned, something in his voice suggested that there was a double meaning behind them but Hermione wasn't sure what.

Helena was silent for a long time, at least that's how it seemed to Hermione but after a while Helena simply nodded her head in reply. Hermione saw the boy frown slightly but it was gone the next second and Hermione wondered if it was just her imagination.

"Have you made any friends yet?"

Helena shook her head in response.

"No?" the boy said in surprise and he seemed to ponder this for a moment, "I thought for sure that the Gryffindors would be nicer to you -"

"They are."

Hermione's eyes widened at this. Nice? Everyone isolated Helena, if they even bothered to notice her at all.

"They are all very nice to me," Helena replied in a quiet voice looking up at the boy, "I'm very happy to be staying with them."

The hufflepuff boy smiled in returned.

"I'm glad," he ran a hand through his hair as he spoke, "Have you talked to anyone yet?"

Again Helena took a moment to reply.

"Yes," she replied finally

**_'When?' _**Hermione wondered before she remembered the night Helena arrived. Ginny, Ron and Harry had spoken to her, but only briefly. She furrowed her brow, that couldn't be what she was referring to, was it?

"That's good," the boy said looking genuinely relieved, "Alright, you better get to class."

He patted Helena on the head fondly.

"Don't you have class?"

Another shock.

Not only was Helena talking to someone she was continuing a conversation even as the boy looked like he was about to leave.

"Free period," the boy explained, "Going to spend time with Andrea. I'll see you later Lena."

With that the boy waved and walked down the corridor.

Helena waved and watched him walk away. The instant she turned around her face drained of all emotion.

_**'Wow! That was...,' **_Hermione was at a loss for words as she walked back to the Gryffindor tower, _**'I knew there was more to her than we thought.'**_

Her thoughts returned to the good looking Hufflepuff boy who Helena had called '_**Milly**_'. I should tell the others, if we can find out about him maybe we can find out what Helena really wants from Ron.

* * *

Hermione jumped off the bed the instant Ron, Harry and Ginny entered the boys dormitory. Seeing no one behind them she instantly started telling them what she had seen earlier that day.

"Milly?" Harry said in confusion, "Who could that be?"

"I don't know that many hufflepuffs," Ginny said in reply, "But we see some of them tomorrow at the D.A. so we could ask them if they know him."

"What's the D.A.?" Hermione questioned, as she had never heard them mention it before.

"You thought he was good looking?"

Hermione stared at Ron when he spoke.

"No, not particularly," she replied simply before turning to the others, "So what's the -"

"That's what you said," Ron cut her off, "Good looking hufflepuff."

Ron had made his voice squeaky and high and Hermione could only guess that he was pretending to be her.

Hermione raised an eyebrow at him.

"Did I?" she said in response, in fact she did remember, but Ron's attitude towards her lately was reaching a boiling point. They were going to have a confrontation sooner or later, and apparently Ron felt like sooner would be better.

She saw his face turn the most interesting shade of red. She thought for sure he would begin shouting at her. An image of them screaming at each other in a field of overgrown grass flashed in front of her but before she could grab hold of that image Ron did something that shocked her.

His eyes remained on her face for a moment, then he closed them. She heard his breathing steady before he opened them again, his face relaxed now.

"The D.A. is Dumbledore's Army," he said acting as though the last few minutes had never happened.

Hermione gaped at him, then out of the corner of her eye she saw Ginny.

Ginny mouthed the words _**'I told you so'**_.

Hermione knew what Ginny was referring to, on the night that they had revealed what had happened to her at the Shrieking Shak they also revealed that Ron, the hot tempered, impulsive and often immature person who she remembered from her dreams had changed since returning from Shell cottage. He was no longer reckless, he no longer jumped into fist fights and screaming matches.

Hermione realised as she watched him talking to the others that this made her sad.

She didn't want Ron to get into trouble or go around doing things without thinking, but a Ron who just followed the rules, did as he was told - just didn't seem normal - didn't seem right.

It would still be some time before she realised why she felt the way she did but until then whenever she saw him were smiling or laughing, she would feel more sad and lonely.

"You're coming with us right?"

Hermione was shaken out of her reverie when Ginny spoke to her. She didn't quite catch what her friend had said and Ginny had to repeat the question.

"You should come with us to the D.A." Ginny explained, "It'll be good for you to practice your defensive magic, and it may even help some of your memories return."

"It was after all your idea," Harry continued beaming at her.

This made Hermione uncomfortable and she shifted on her feet in embarrassment. She knew that they couldn't help it but when they referred to things she had said and done in the past but she felt like they were talking about a complete stranger. How could she respond when they praised her like that? To her, she hadn't done any of those things and it felt hollow to accept their praise.

"I have an idea I want to suggest," Hermione said remembering what had occurred to her earlier that day as well as wanting to change the topic quickly.

"What's that?" Ron questioned her, a look of concern on his face almost as though he knew exactly what she was about to say and was considering how to say no. A part of her wondered if he could read her mind, after this morning when he seemed to know exactly what she was thinking it wasn't that much of a stretch but she dismissed the thought and continued.

"I thought perhaps I could be Helena's maid."

"No."

He hadn't even waited for a second before answering. It hadn't been a question, but the way he had said it made it very clear that there was no way Ron was going to willingly let her get close to Helena.

Hermione turned to Ginny and Harry since they looked like they were at least considering the idea.

"Think about it, this way I can get close to her, find out what her real motives are," Hermione said trying to persuade the others, "And its not like Ron needs me - "

The words were out before she could stop herself.

You could literally hear the crickets chirp or at least the owls hooting in the night air.

Hermione swallowed and slowly turned to look at Ron.

He was staring off into the distance his eyes glazed over and she wondered if he had even heard what she had said.

She glanced at Harry and Ginny but they too were watching Ron, waiting for his reaction. They didn't have to wait long.

Ron released a slow breath before saying in a quiet voice to the wall rather than to her.

"Do whatever you want."

He then turned and walked out of the room.

Harry and Ginny shared one of _**those**_ looks between each other before Ginny shook her head. They had apparently decided in silence, that this time, Ron needed to be on his own.

"I - I didn't mean..." Hermione began unsteadily but neither of the others would look her in the eyes.

"Maybe you should change out of that outfit and get some rest," Harry said trying to give her an encouraging smile but his heart was clearly not in it.

"Okay," she replied in a quiet voice before leaving the dormitory.

It was only when she had taken a few steps down the servants stairs in the dim candlelight that she realised someone had folded her clothes neatly and had even tied it with a perriwinkle blue ribbon.

Something tugged at her chest and Hermione's legs gave way. She slumped down on the steps and cried.

_**'Ron.'**_

The hidden, whispering voice that she tried to ignore, the voice of the _**real**_ Hermione whispered his name but she already knew. Who else would lovingly fold her clothes and use a ribbon with her favourite colour?

She felt as though her heart was being ripped out of her chest with every breath she took and she just sat there crying, feeling that at any moment it would stop beating all together because she had done something unforgivable.

She had hurt the one person who cared for her the way no one else did or ever would again.

She didn't know how to fix it, whether there was anything left to be fixed.

And all she could do was cry.

* * *

Hermione fidgeted with her hair as she stood outside the boys dorm the next morning, she had tied it up with the ribbon Ron had used to tie up her clothes. She couldn't bring herself to throw it away nor could she seem to let it part from her.

She had cried herself to sleep the night before and knew that she looked terrible. Her eyes were red and puffy and her face was pale and sickly.

She was wearing the maids outfit from the day before, as they were headed to Hogsmeade today, a place outside Hogwarts she needed her servants uniform on.

Hermione looked at the shirt and the stitching across the front felt like a slap on the face every time she saw it now.

_**'I don't deserve to be loved.'**_

"Hermione?"

Hermione turned when she heard someone approach her.

Ginny's eyes widened when she saw Hermione's face.

Without a word Ginny pulled out her wand and cast a charm. Hermione felt her skin tightening and the stinging sensation around her eyes disappeared.

Hermione reached up and touched her face.

"Thank you," she said to Ginny as she returned her wand to her pocket.

"I didn't do that for you," Ginny replied, "If Ron saw you like that he would just beat himself up about it."

Ginny hadn't looked at her once while she spoke and she knew that Ginny was angry with her as well.

Ginny reached up to knock on the door but it opened before her hand had even touched the wood.

"Oh," Neville said in surprise having to stop himself from walking straight into them, "If you're looking for Ron and Harry they've already left."

"Left?" Hermione said.

She got a warning look from Ginny and Hermione bit down on her lip.

She had gotten so used to talking naturally around Harry, Ron and Ginny that she had forgotten that she was still supposed to be acting like a servant.

"Where are they?" Ginny said looking up and down the corridor checking to see if anyone had heard Hermione speak.

"Said that they'd meet you at the three broomsticks," Neville answered before side stepping Hermione, "I'll see you later Ginny."

Ginny nodded at Neville before looking at Hermione.

"Guess its just you and me," Ginny said shortly before walking down the stairs.

Hermione didn't think an apology would have any effect so she simply stayed silent and followed Ginny out of the Gryffindor tower and down the stairs.

They were silent all the way down to the school gates. Hermione thought at that point that she should just apologise even if Ginny ignored her.

"I'm sorry."

Ginny stopped in her tracks just as they reached the path that lead towards Hogsmeade.

"For what?" Ginny said in genuine confusion.

"For what I said yesterday," Hermione explained.

Ginny furrowed her brow and narrowed her eyes.

"For someone so smart you really are thick sometimes," was all Ginny said in response before continuing walking down the path.

"What do you mean?" Hermione said stuffing her hands inside her pockets and wishing that she had thought to bring a jumper or something along with her rather than just wearing the maids outfit on its own.

"I warned you before," Ginny spoke but she didn't turn around to look at her, "To stay away from Ron. That it wasn't safe."

Hermione remembered that night that they had talked in the school infirmary after Harry and Neville had carried an unconscious Ron to the hospital. That was when she was only just beginning to suspect her true feelings about her Master.

"I saw how angry and..." Ginny trailed off and she saw Ginny clench her fists.

"Didn't you ever wonder why my brother was working at the Ministry before school started?"

Hermione thought about this for a moment. It would be only natural for Ron to work there since his father did as well.

"Your dad - "

"No," Ginny cut Hermione off, "No, Hermione."

Ginny stopped and turned to look at her directly.

"Once we brought you back from shell cottage, once you woke up we returned you to your parents," Ginny shook her head at though in disbelief, "You returned home and everything was just peachy for you."

Hermione wanted to protest. It may have seemed that way to Ginny but to Hermione it definitely was not. It wasn't like she had replaced her memories with endless rainbows and butterflies. She had taken out happy memories, memories of friends and people she loved with a world that was cold, dark and empty.

She wanted to tell her friend this but Ginny continued speaking.

"While you continued your life oblivious to what you did, Ron...Ron - " Ginny looked away from her as though just looking at her hurt her, "Ron lay on the floor of his room for days. Just laying there. He didn't cry, he didn't scream, he didn't - do - anything. He just laid there - dead to the world..."

Hermione didn't want to hear this.

_**'It's not my fault!'**_ she wanted to scream but she couldn't because she knew it was her fault. And even if every word Ginny said felt like a twisting knife in her gut she had to hear it.

"We had to get him out of the house, we had to do something - and so my dad dragged him up off the floor and took him to the Ministry. Put him to work, menial tasks and my brother did them all without question...and slowly, very very slowly my brother seemed to wake up from that catatonic state. He wasn't Ron but at least he was talking, eating, acting the way a normal human should again."

Hermione felt her eyes begin to sting once more but she bit down hard and refused to cry.

"So you see," Ginny said looking Hermione straight in the eyes again, "It's not me you should be apologising to."

Ginny watched Hermione for a little while longer before she turned and they continued walking.

"You're still my friend, Hermione," Ginny said as they approached the village, "But Ron is my brother."

Ginny didn't need to say anymore, Hermione understood perfectly. Hermione stared at the ground as she walked, there was nothing either of them could say.

"Ron?" she heard Ginny say in surprise.

Ginny's voice sent a cold shiver up her spine and Hermione closed her eyes tightly. She wasn't ready to see him yet.

Slowly she looked up feeling her heart pounding against her chest erratically.

Ron was standing in the middle of the path, he looked disheveled, his hair stuck up all over the place and Hermione realised that he must have run here.

He looked out of breath and he was staring at her.

He walked over to them.

"We're going back," he said his voice sounding odd to her ears.

"But -" Ginny said before a look of realisation crossed her face.

"I already bought you another uniform," Ron continued handing her a package wrapped in brown paper, "Let's go."

He then grabbed her arm and dragged her back the way that they had come.

His grip on her arm was tight and it actually hurt but the way his hand was shaking kept her silent. As they walked back to the school she realised that she recognised the trees around them.

And she felt not for the first time that week a sharp pain in her chest.

If they had continued along that path they would have walked straight towards the Shrieking Shak, at least where the building had once stood. And Ron, she realised looking up at his stony face, didn't want her to see it.

Her eyes glanced up at Ron again.

_**'He really loves you, you know**_**_,' _**that familiar voice inside her spoke.

**_'Yes,'_** she agreed,**_ 'And I think I understand why I...'_**

"I'm sorry."

Ron stopped walking and turned to look at her. He must have realised that they were still holding hands so he instantly released his grip on her arm.

"For what?" he said quietly a mix of emotions flashing in front of his eyes.

"For saying...for saying _that_..." Hermione trailed off unable to finish her sentence as tears fell down her cheeks.

She gasped and stepped back in shock when Ron touched her face.

"You've been crying," he said more as a statement than a question, "Crying because of -"

"It's my fault," Hermione said quickly, she knew enough by now to know that he was going to blame himself, "I don't think before I speak - I sometimes get carried away when I think I know the answers."

Ron didn't say anything he just stood there watching her.

"I remember," he said slowly placing a hand over his mouth for a moment and looking away, almost like he was trying to stop himself speaking.

"I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't angry," Ron said after a moment but his eyes still remained focused on the trees rather than at her, "But its been almost half a year already - don't you think that's enough?"

Hermione frowned, she was completely confused. What on earth was he talking about?

"Enough?" she said after a silence had elapsed.

Finally he turned to look at her.

"The way I've been treating you all year," he explained, "Isn't that revenge enough?"

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise.

The way he had treated her?

Her mind flashed back all those months ago.

Images of him shouting at her, ordering her around, purposefully throwing clean clothes on the floor and spilling drinks and potions on them.

She stared at him.

Then without even knowing why, without really meaning to - Hermione burst out laughing.

Ron watched her for a moment before he began laughing too though she noticed that the smile didn't reach his eyes.

"That's so immature," she said finally wiping the tears from her eyes.

Instead of replying Ron took a step closer to her.

"When you're like this," he said all the joy draining from his face, "It's like nothing's changed..."

He continued watching her for a moment longer before turning and walking back to school. Hermione didn't know what to say in response so she simply followed him.

**_'I'm sorry.'_**

* * *

**A/N: This chapter was quite easy to write, it was one which pretty much wrote itself. There's a lot of interesting stories that I've introduced here and I hope you've at least found it entertaining. One thing that did surprise me was that I had intended for Hermione to go to Hogsmeade but like I said, this chapter wrote itself, and as I was writing that scene Ron just appeared in my head, in much the same way he appeared in front of Ginny and Hermione. He just wouldn't let me allow Hermione go to Hogsmeade. I never argue with the characters so I did as he told me, and as always when I follow their advice, I end up pleasantly surprised by the end result. So thanks Ron :)**

**What to expect next chapter: **

**- Hermione meets the other members of the D.A.**

**- More about 'Milly' and his relationship with Helena**

**- Hermione tries to develop her relationship with Ron, whether she is successful is another thing entirely **

**FAQ:**

**What's with the weird chapter titles?**

They are actualy lyrics to a song I was listening to while I was developing this story. The themes in the song influenced the plot of the story, and so I made a point of using the lyrics as chapter titles. :) The song is:

'Goodnight Goodnight' by Maroon 5

Youtube link to hear the song: (replace the underscore _ with full stops . for the link to work**)**

http://www_youtube_com/watch?v=9faRu5HGxq8

**MERLINS PANTS! I just watched the official Maroon 5 video for that song and I was completely shocked. It fits perfectly with this story! :O**

**I heard the song a while ago and honestly, I have never seen that video until today. Just replace the singer with Ron and the girl with Hermione and its creepy accurate. How cool is that?! **

**Response to Comments/Reviews:**

**Again, thank you everyone for the comments :) So many!**

**ObsessedRHShipper**: I agree, poor Ron, he really needs a cuddle. And I am working towards answering questions about Helena and her relationship with the main characters. As for Hermione...hmmm I don't know what she will remember.

**xo_i love emmet_xo**: Correct! Hermione tagged along with Ron and Harry on all their adventures up until she lost her memory :) Thanks so much and I'm glad I didn't make you more confused XD

dream-injection: Oh I'm glad! Really? Ron? :/ I don't think Ron would have done that...then again...

**wow60:** Oh I'm so glad you're interested in Helena, she has her own story that I hope to tell over the next few chapters. As for Ron and Hermione :) I think you should be comforted by the fact that I am a huge R/Hr shipper 3

**SparkleInTheSun: **YAY! No more confusion XD And thanks so much for reading and commenting!

bookworm8721: Updated ASAP! XD I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well, and I am currently working on the next chapter :)

**ErinFabu:** Thanks for commenting and I agree with the comments you left in the pm :)

**Eloquent Doll**: Thanks so much! 3 Wow! I'm so glad that you like my writing style, that makes me happy beyond belief XD

**cc222:** Thanks!

**connieewing:** lol poor Hermione, everyone wants her to remember but that brain of hers works in mysterious ways ;)

**theclumsyone5:** Thank you! I have to admit I get such a giddy feeling when I get complimented on my writing, I am no where near where I want to be in writing ability but I am so happy and grateful that people are reading and enjoying what I write 3

**pearls-and-crystal-blues:** Hi again! It was intense, I remember feeling so horrible after the Shrieking Shak scene. I'm so glad everyone seems less confused now, and I am especially happy that everyone is slowly starting to understand Ron's point of view and the reasons for why he has been acting the way he has. I would love to hear your ideas and you'd be surprised how right you may be, a lot of people have written comments that were pretty much right on the money :) But I still love surprising people. Helena...she is a very interesting character and there is definitely more than meets the eye with her ;) Thanks for your kinds words it really does encourage me to continue writing.

**RoN**: I really was, I have to admit that I cried when I was writing that chapter. LOL and don't worry pretty much everyone who has left comments wants Hermione to use that big brain of hers :) Thanks for your thoughts, and I am busily working on the next chapter now.

**EllowynTinuvie**l: Thanks so much for leaving a comment! I hope you do again because I love hearing from my readers :) And wow, you read the story all the way through? That makes me nervous, after I write I tend not to look back at it often because I get so frustrated at myself and all the mistakes I've made. But I am thrilled I've kept you entertained for a few hours XD LOL and yes I can be evil but then again how would I get y'all to keep coming back for more ;) Thanks for reading and commenting 3

**bookcrzygirl**: Thanks! I am so relieved everyone is less confused now :) LOL yeah I liked that line too, what else would you do if you were stuck with a bed-ridden Hermione for a year? LOL Ron's reaction was priceless, I can only say that without embarrassment because I really don't have much control over what he says in this story, he tells me what to do most of the time.

**Eckles/Wayne:** Hi again! Where'd you go? I didn't hear from you for a while and was getting concerned that I'd put you off for some reason. I'm glad to hear from you. First of all, I hope you're not angry at me :/ I can understand if you are upset with Hermione though. As for the rest of your comments I agree completely :) And yes, everything she has done will continue to have an affect on her and Ron's relationship.

* * *


	14. I did not mean to hurt my little girl

**Chapter 13 - I did not mean to hurt my little girl**

"I don't deserve to be loved."

Ron stopped walking and turned back to stare at her open mouthed.

"What?"

Hermione dropped her gaze to the ground.

"I just don't understand it," she said softly unable to meet his eyes, "I don't understand how you can still care about me, still worry about me when I've done this horrible thing."

She heard Ron take a deep breath.

"Everyone deserves to be loved Hermione," Ron said reaching over as though to hold her hand but he stopped at the last minute, "Isn't that what you always told me?"

Hermione sighed and turned her head so that she was looking out at the forest near them.

"I'm not - the girl that you love so much..." Hermione trailed off moving so that her entire body was now turned away from Ron, "I'm not that girl. She was smart, caring and everyone loved her..."

Hermione folded her arms across her body. She thought for a moment before continuing.

"If I am to be loved," Hermione was surprised to feel her throat tighten as she spoke, "I want to be loved for me, for the person I am...not because I look like someone else."

A gust of wind blew past them and Hermione felt the chill cut through her clothes.

"First of all not everyone loved you."

She shot him an annoyed look.

"Well, its true," he said with a cheeky smile on his face, "You were so bossy and nosy sometimes - but, those of us lucky enough to know you did care about you."

She heard Ron say before something warm and heavy dropped onto her shoulders.

She looked down and realised that Ron had taken off his cloak. He moved forward as though to continue walking, or perhaps he just couldn't bring himself to look at her anymore.

"That's what makes it so hard," he continued, "Even if you can't see it, even if you refuse to accept it - you are Hermione."

She saw his jaw clench and his eyes - his eyes were so sad.

"All this time I've been trying to be someone I'm not. Calm, collected, smart - someone who thinks things through before acting...I thought that's what you wanted," Ron turned away from her and spoke through gritted teeth, "But I was never good enough I suppose....I suppose we're both trying to be someone we're not."

He turned away from her completely and began walking once more.

"How can you say that?" Hermione ran forward to grab his arm and force him to turn and look at her.

"After everything I did? If anything Hermione, the Hermione you know that is, she's the one whose not good enough."

Ron stared down at her for a moment before a strange smile crossed his face.

"Whatever your," he saw her flinch and he corrected himself, "Whatever her reasons were - I have to trust that she believed that she was doing the right thing."

Hermione stared up at him baffled.

"How can you say that?" she questioned her voice barely a whisper.

If he hadn't been standing so close he might not have heard her but he did and he looked at her with a strange expression. That expression made her feel a thousand times more worse. She knew his answer before he even spoke the words.

"You," he placed his hands on her shoulders and stared straight down into her eyes, as though to drill into her the fact that he knew exactly who she was and she could feel herself trembling beneath his gaze, "You always did what you thought was right, you always had a mind of your own..."

They stood staring at each other and she knew that if it were anyone else she would feel uncomfortable with the intense way he was staring at her and the closeness of their bodies but somehow she didn't. She felt - safe.

He stepped back from her after a moment. She saw Ron's eyes narrow as he spoke, as though he was torn between anger and - another much stronger emotion.

"I wouldn't lo - " she saw him grit his teeth before he took a breath and continued, "I wouldn't care about you as much as I do if you didn't fight for what you believed in. And you're still that way now, fighting because you want to find a way to free the other muggleborns."

It took her mind a moment to register his words.

"What - how...how do you know that?"

"Know what?" he said in confusion.

"How do you know that I've been researching ways to free the muggleborns?"

She saw Ron's face tense before he stepped away from her.

She felt her mind working, as though slowly piecing together a puzzle.

"The letter," she said slowly taking a step away from him as her breathing excellerated, "You have been reading my letters!"

After everything that had happened that night she had completely forgotten about finding her letter in Ron's room.

"Those were private," she said feeling her cheeks flush with anger and embarrassment.

"Hermione - I - "

"Was that another way to get back at me?" she said feeling more confused than ever about the person standing in front of her, "I don't know if I am the Hermione you care about so much," she said wiping the tears from her eyes, she was so tired of crying, "All I know is that a friend, a person who _cares_ about me, wouldn't invade my privacy like this."

She pushed past him and ran back to Hogwarts.

The wind wiping her hair around her face painfully, but she didn't care, she had to get away from him. She felt so confused and angry, she hated everything and everyone - she just wanted to get away from this place.

She just wanted everything to be simple again.

Without realising it she had run all the way up to the Owlery. She stopped and tried to steady her breathing.

She needed to write to Lance. Had he even been receiving her letters?

It was only after she had calmed down did she realise that she didn't have paper, or a quill. But she had to make sure that Lance was still talking to her, that he wasn't being tracked by wizards. Would Ron do that? Put everyone she knew under surveillance, for some reason that thought didn't comfort her, it made her feel exposed and manipulated. Ron was right about one thing at least, she was her own person, she would fight with all her strength rather than simply be some damsel in distress waiting to be rescued. She knew enough of the weak willed characters so often found in popular fiction, the kind of books the girls she hated read. She didn't want to be that girl, someone who fell apart when their boyfriend left them or someone who goes from one man to another simply because she could live without a man in her life. Hermione took a deep breathe of fresh and chilly air. She was independent damnit and no one, not even Ronald Weasley would tell her what to do, not anymore.

She reached up and tore out the ribbon that Ron had given her. She quickly walked over to an Owl and tried to tie a ribbon around its leg. The little bird flew off as did those around it when she approached them. Hermione frowned.

She walked over to some other owls but they too flew away.

"They won't come."

Hermione gasped and jumped back when she heard someone speak near her.

Helena was standing in the doorway watching her. She really didn't know what Helena made of her. Hermione was sure her clothes and hair were dishevelled and she realised only now that she was still wearing Ron's cloak.

"They won't come?" Helena repeated walking forwards.

Hermione took another step back holding the parcel in her hands close to chest as a shield.

Helena continued towards her and Hermione tried to think of how she would fight her off.

Then just as she reached Hermione, Helena turned and walked up the spiral staircase that led to the next level of the Owlery.

Hermione stood frozen for a moment confused. Then Helena walked back down, a brown Owl resting on her arm, a letter tied to its leg.

Helena patted the owl softly and the bird cooed affectionately.

"Demetri, please take this letter to my mother," Helena said to the owl, she held the little bird up to her face and the owl nuzzled her face before it flew out the nearest window.

Helena turned back to Hermione as though she had only just noticed her in the room.

"None of them will take your letters," Helena said when Hermione continued to stare at her.

Helena turned to watch her owl fly off into the distance before turning as though to leave the Owlery.

"Why not?" Hermione said quickly taking a tentative step forwards.

"Draco," Helena replied turning her head slightly to look at Hermione, "Draco ordered them."

Hermione furrowed her brown in confusion as she watched Helena walk down the steps and out of the Owlery.

"Draco Malfoy," she repeated to herself.

He ordered the owls to refuse to take her letters. She felt something nudge her slightly.

**'Ron...was he...' **she looked at the owls around her, **'****Was he actually taking her letters to deliver them?'**

**'No,' **she realised quickly, **'****I haven't written to Lance since that day Malfoy attacked me here...'**

Hermione let out a frustrated sigh.

She walked out of the Owlery slowly and made her way back to the school. As she did, she looked down the hilly slopes and saw Helena sitting under a tree that overlooked the lake.

It was cold, so much so that Hermione had to pull Ron's cloak closer to her body to keep herself warm, but Helena sat outside just staring at the lake. Hermione walked towards the girl but remained unnoticed. There was a book laid out on her lap, and a piece of parchment and quill floated beside her.

**'Studying?'** Hermione wondered, **'Isn't she cold?'**

"Hey!"

Hermione jumped when someone shouted.

She turned and saw a furious looking Ginny storming up to her.

"Get inside now!"

Hermione stared wide eyed at her friend before she ran back towards the school. Ginny followed her, as they approached the school Hermione felt Ginny grab Ron's cloak off her.

Hermione stared at her friend in shock.

"People are watching," Ginny whispered.

She was right, Hermione had been so wrapt up in her own world that she hadn't noticed people around her. Of course they would wonder why she was wearing her Masters clothes.

"Yes - uh - ma'am."

She thought she saw Ginny wince when Hermione call her ma'am but she turned and walked back into the building. When she reached the common room she released a sigh of relief.

Ginny fell in behind her and headed towards the Girls dormintory, motioning for Hermione to follow her.

Once the door was closed behind them, Ginny turned back to look at her.

"Hermione, are you alright?" she said in concern, "You're white as a ghost, I hope I didn't frighten you just now. It would look strange if you walked in wearing Ron's robes."

"Y-yes I know," Hermione said quickly.

**'She probably doesn't know about my fight with Ron,' **she realised placing the parcel in her arms on one of the beds.

"You can change in here," Ginny said taking out her wand, "I'll lock the door."

"W-where are you going?" Hermione wondered when Ginny stepped outside.

"I'll get Dobby to bring you some warm tea, you look frozen solid," Ginny explained and Hermione couldn't help but return Ginny's smile.

"Thank you."

Ginny shrugged and was about to close the door behind her when Hermione stopped her.

"H-have you seen Ron?" she questioned swallowing nervously.

Ginny looked at her in confusion before shaking her head.

"I thought he was with you," Ginny replied.

"I'm sure he's fine though," Ginny added quickly when Hermione bit her lip nervously.

Hermione nodded her head and watched as Ginny closed the door, leaving her alone. She turned back to look at the parcel in front of her. She sighed and opened it up.

She was already regretting her words.

Sure she was angry about him reading her letters but she knew that what she was really angry about was -

Hermione sighed.

"Because I'm not her," Hermione said softly as she unwrapt the parcel, "I'm not the one you love."

Hermione stared down at the clothes that were folded neatly inside the parcel. She felt a heavy weight press down on her chest as she picked up the maroon coloured apron with a Gryffindor Badge and Ron's name sewn just above the chest.

On the bed lay a clean white button shirt with a simple red and gold ribbon tied in a bow around the collar. Red and Gold cross stitched long socks peaked out from underneath a simple knee length maroon coloured dress.

As she stood there staring at the clothes she felt confusion and sadness overtake her.

Everything about the outfit was just more proof, if she needed it that Ron really did know her. He knew her favourite shoes, what kind of clothes made her uncomfortable, like the way too short skirt she was currently wearing.

Hermione sighed and placed the apron back on the bed. She ran a hand over the crisp clean white apron.

"I don't understand you - Hermione."

* * *

_**Hermione awoke with a start.**_

_**She cried out in pain. **_

_**Her head - her arms, legs...every part of her ached. She felt as though her whole body was on fire and yet at the same time her head - felt like ice. Numb with a constant dull pain pulsing through her head.**_

_**Dark. So dark.**_

_**Hermione began to panic. **_

**'**_**I can't see!'**_

**"**_**What's going on? Help me - someone!"**_

_**Hermione was shocked when instead of words all she heard were gargled noises. **_

_**Sweat dripped down her -**_

_**Merlin. Hermione reached up and felt her head.**_

_**She could feel her chest rise and fall quickly as her breathing quickened.**_

_**Something was on her. On her face, her head - **_

_**Her fingers tried to pull away at whatever it was...**_

_**It took her a few moments to realise that it was bandages.**_

_**A sharp pain ran through her arms and chest and her fingers fell to her sides limply. Try as she might, she couldn't control them. Her hands remained motionless on the bed.**_

_**She opened her mouth to cry out for someone - anyone.**_

_**Her mouth felt dry - as though it were filled with cotton wool.**_

_**She wanted to scream but everything felt so sore.**_

_**She felt so tired.**_

_**She stopped trying to move. Her body ached too much and she felt exhausted. **_

_**Tears sprang to her eyes from the pain and frustration she felt.**_

_**Unable to move or speak she was finally able to hear the sound...**_

_**It was the sound of waves crashing.**_

_**She was near the sea?**_

_**Last thing she remembered...she had been at St Mungo's hospital. **_

_**She strained her mind to remember but nothing it appeared, not even her mind would co-operate with her.**_

_**She felt exhaustion and the darkness finally envelop her once more. She couldn't resist as unconsciousness took her. **_

* * *

_**She didn't know how much time had passed when she next awoke but she could hear someone moving near her.**_

_**She started in shock when someone touched her.**_

**"**_**It's me," she heard a familar yet hoarse voice say, "I'm cleaning your bandages."**_

**"**_**Rrr---" she couldn't get much more out of her mouth. Her throat still ached and she could taste blood on her tongue.**_

**"**_**Yeah," Ron said in reply, clearly this was not the first time they had spoken. How long had they been here?**_

_**She wanted to talk to him - ask him so many questions.**_

**"**_**I know," he said as though reading her mind, "Later, when you're -- when you --"**_

_**She heard his voice break and he stopped talking completely.**_

**"**_**Later," he said once more.**_

_**She felt the pressure on her head lessen.**_

_**He was changing her bandages. But her eyes remained closed, she couldn't even open them. After a while she gave up trying and just lay there.**_

_**She tried to wiggle her fingers and was finally able to move them. She moved her hand slowly over to where she thought he was.**_

_**Her hand touched his leg. His motions stilled.**_

_**He was sitting on the bed with her. **_

_**After a moment he reached down and touched her hand, he held it - gently, almost as though he expected her to break. Was she that injured? **_

_**She felt a stab of guilt when she briefly wondered if she would be permanently scarred. She didn't think herself that shallow and yet -- and yet how could she not wonder.**_

_**She felt Ron's hand leave hers but she left her hand resting on his knee.**_

_**It comforted her, knowing he was close. He was there. Even if she didn't understand anything else, if Ron was with her then she would be fine.**_

_**After a while she began to drift off to sleep. She tried to resist because she wanted to be awake with Ron but again her body refused to listen to her. **_

_**In a few moments she fell back to sleep.**_

* * *

**"**_**She's fine..."**_

_**Hermione awoke to the sound of Ron talking.**_

**"**_**I know...I'm okay..."**_

_**The way he was talking it sounded like a telephone conversation. But that couldn't be...Ron didn't know how to use the telephone, he still had trouble pronouncing it properly.**_

**"**_**How's Harry?"**_

_**Harry?**_

_**Hermione tried to concentrate when she heard her friends name.**_

**"**_**Is he alright?"**_

_**A long silence...clearly whoever Ron was talking to was explaining something to him.**_

**"**_**You think someone put his name in on purpose?"**_

_**That didn't make sense to Hermione at all.**_

**"**_**Hmmm....yeah..."**_

_**The rest of the conversation wasn't very revealing and Hermione soon drifted off to sleep once more, making a mental note to question Ron later...if she could even talk that is.**_

* * *

_**Hermione felt something warm trickle down her throat.**_

_**She grimaced. The feeling of having someone feed her was incredibly uncomfortable. She was used to doing everything on her own and she considered herself so independent. To have to rely on another...she would be lying if she said she didn't feel embarrassed, ashamed and useless.**_

_**She felt something soft on her face once more. It was then that she realised that most of the bandages of her face had been removed. She could now only feel the back and top her head wrapt up in the soft bandages.**_

_**What then was the - **_

**"**_**Towel," Ron spoke answering her unspoken question.**_

_**He was getting good at that. She wondered whether he had cast a charm on her so that he could read her mind. For some reason she felt herself flush at the thought. **_

**"**_**Some of the potion has spilt down your neck," Ron continued cutting through her thoughts.**_

_**Hermione tried to open her eyes but unfortunately she still seemed unable to see. A brief flash of panic made her heart race. What if she was blind - permanently?! **_

_**Ron seemed to notice panic because his hand instantly touched the side of her face.**_

**"**_**Shhhh..." he said in a low voice, "You're fine."**_

_**She thought that he sounded almost convincing this time.**_

**"**_**A few more - " he stopped suddenly and Hermione felt herself deflate, he was lying to her.**_

**"**_**A little longer and you'll be able to get out of this bed."**_

_**She didn't know if he knew what he was doing but his large hands were caressing the side of her face. The feeling was soothing and she leaned her face into his hands, hoping that he understood that she was trying to thank him.**_

**"**_**Don't..." he trailed off and Hermione stilled her movements.**_

**"**_**You don't need to thank me," he said in barely a whisper.**_

_**Hermione felt her heart beat slowing to a normal rate once more.**_

_**She opened her mouth but realised that she couldn't speak, she leaned into his hand one more.**_

**'**_**Thank you.'**_

_**Even if he couldn't hear her, she would say those a thousand times over.**_

* * *

Hermione sat hugging her knees to her chest.

She was sitting in the hallway just outside Ron's dorm room. Though they had avoided each other after the Hogsmeade visit, every night she still found a thick blanket and pillow waiting for her outside his door.

Hermione stared into the blue-bell fire that glowed in the lamp that floated above her head.

Something dark and covered with barbs knawed at her insides.

Ron was so kind...

Even if there weren't the present evidence of his -- affection for her she had remembered. That dream, the reason she couldn't get back to sleep.

The memory was so -

Hermione closed her eyes as guilt washed over her.

Ron had stayed with her all those months that she had been falling in and out of consciousness. He had comforted her, talked to her, had been there when she wanted to cry but couldn't. After those memories had returned to her she felt the familiar guilt gnaw at her insides. He had spent a whole year taking care of her, after all that time, he probably didn't even notice when he overstepped boundaries and become overly protective. She wasn't injured anymore though, she should show him that she could do things without his help, maybe then he would back off a little, give her space to breath.

Still now, as she sat recalling the memory in her mind she couldn't understand how he had known exactly what she needed. However he had managed to read her thoughts when she was recovering from her injuries, he was obviously still able to use that skill today. The fact that he had known exactly what she had been thinking the other day in the Great Hall was proof enough.

What bothered her more than anything else was that she didn't even understand what she was thinking.

She couldn't deny that she felt attracted to him. That much she knew but she didn't understand why. The different parts of her memory and her mind were at war with each other. One part of her knew that Ron was her best friend, that they've known each other for years and that he cared about her a lot. And the part of her that she had until recently thought was reality, thought he was her Master, that she was to do whatever he told her and that he couldn't care if she lived or died.

Hermione held her head in her hands, fighting the temptation to just scream at the top of her lungs.

She didn't have a problem being angry at Hermione, the girl who had erased her memories, because she still didn't - couldn't accept that they were the same person. But she had no way of skiving the guilt and blame she felt for the way she had been treating Ron ever since her memory returned.

She had shouted at him, pushed away from him, avoided him - and for what? A few letters? So what if he read them?

He must of had his reasons. Hermione felt a heavy weight press down on her. Yes, if she knew anything at this moment it was that Ron would never intentionally hurt her. If he had done something like read her letters - her very private letters than he - would - have - a - reason...

Hermione thoughts wandered off.

She knew. If she thought about it rationally - then yes. Ron would never do anything to hurt her. But a part of her was still hurt, angry that he would invade her privacy like that.

Hermione let out a frustrated sigh.

**'I'm so confused!**' she groaned internally.

**'Tell me Hermione. Tell me what I'm supposed to do?'**

**'What do you want to do?' **she heard the voice inside her head question back.

**'I want to confront him about the letters, get him to explain why he was reading them,' **she answered.

Hermione felt the weight lessen slightly.

**'Yes. I will ask him to explain.'**

Satisfied with her decision she lay back down on the pillow and tried to get some sleep.

* * *

Ron was avoiding her.

When he had opened his door the following morning to find her staring at him with a determined expression on her face, his had visibly paled.

Once more she wondered if he really did cast a charm on her to be able to read her mind. Because he had instantly rushed past her and into the boys bathroom. Since then he had been avoiding her.

And it wasn't exactly like she could confront him with all these people around. Obviously she would raise their suspicions if she began arguing and demanding answers from her Master.

But to be perfectly honest, that was the least of her concerns at the present moment.

Hermione looked at Ron from the corner of her eye. He was sitting on the sofa in the common room and he was with Helena. Hermione was standing just behind the sofa trying to look disinterested.

She couldn't understand what he was doing. He had said that he wasn't the least bit interested in Helena, that she was just some girl that his parents had foisted on him for some unknown reason and yet there he sat next to her on the sofa.

Hermione tugged at her collar, anything to stop her hands from reaching over and hitting Ron or at least place a more respectable distance between him and Helena.

She wanted to confront him about the letters but when he arrived in the common room that afternoon, he had been with Helena. He had carried her books in for her, and held the entrance of the common room open for Helena to walk inside. Ever since then they had just been sitting there on the sofa, Helena reading her book and Ron - well Ron was just making small talk with Helena.

Helena answered his questions in her usual droll voice not once taking her eyes off her book but Ron persisted anyway.

Hermione meanwhile had been standing a few metres away watching them. She had tried to approach Ron but he had sent her away to clean up his room. She wanted to protest but with the common room so crowded and Helena sitting right there she could only glare at his head and walk up the stairs. She came down half an hour later she found Helena and Ron leaning over a book.

Helena seemed to be discussing something with Ron and Ron actually looked - he looked genuinely interested in what the girl was saying.

Hermione felt something tighten inside her and at the same time she felt something snap. She could feel her fingers digging into her palms and looked down in surprise to realise that she was clenching her hands so tightly that the whites of her knuckles were visible.

She had thought Ron was just talking to Helena to get a reaction from Hermione but as she watched them she was became increasingly confused.

Ron had spent time with Helena at the Ministry over the summer, the same summer that he was trying to get over her. Hermione felt a sinking sensation in her stomach as a thought occurred to her.

Could it be possible that Ron did get over her? And that it was Helena who had helped him do that?

Was that why his parents had been okay with Ron getting engaged with her?

Hermione's eyes widened in shock at the thought.

**'But what do I care. It's not like I...whoever he dates or gets married to is none of my...'**

Oh, who was she kidding. She liked him. She couldn't understand it, didn't even know when the feeling had taken root but it was too late now.

As she watched him sit and talk with Helena, heck if he talked to any girl these days she felt a tug at her chest as a cold sensation ran through her.

'**So, I have a little crush - perfectly normal,' **Hermione rationlised, **'All these memories of him being nice and all those times he had taken care of me even when I didn't remember who he was...who wouldn't get a crush on him in those circumstances?'**

Hermione flexed her fingers, unclenching them.

**'But it's not like I actually have feelings for him beyond -'**

She could feel her mouth hanging open in the air.

Helena had just leaned over, she was far too close to Ron.

"It's not proper!" she heard herself say.

Ron and Helena turned to look at her and Hermione realised with alarm that she had spoken aloud.

But who cares about that. She was angry - No. She was bloody pissed off!

Hermione marched over and glared down at her Master.

Ron and Helena watched her movements, and she could have sworn she saw a look of amusement on Ron's face. This only angered her more.

To Hermione's surprise it was Helena who spoke first.

"Hello," Helena said her face still expressionless and clearly unfazed by the furious expression on Hermione's face.

"Yes? What is it?" Ron said when Hermione still didn't speak.

Hermione turned to look at him.

"I - I..." she gritted her teeth and forced her mouth into a smile but by the way Ron was clearly trying not to laugh she was pretty sure her expression looked ridiculous, "I was wondering," she spat out through gritted teeth, "if you and your _**fiance**_ would like some refreshments."

She placed particular emphasis on the word and though Helena didn't seem to notice Ron certainly did, though it seemed to amuse him more than anything else and he covered his mouth with his hands to cover up a smile.

"Helena," Ron turned to look at the girl beside him, "You like Lady Grey tea don't you?"

**'How do you know what she likes?!'** she wanted to shout at him but she stopped herself.

It may have been her imagination but when Ron had turned to talk to Helena, Hermione thought she saw him smirk up at her.

Her fingers were itching to reach over and strangle him. Was he trying to make her lose her cool?

"With honey."

Hermione started and stared at Helena.

"Huh?" she bit her own tongue, she felt like a moron.

"Lady Grey tea with honey," Ron repeated with a smile.

To anyone else he probably looked completely innocent but she saw the daring glint in his eyes. Almost like he were egging her on, expecting her to erupt in fury at any moment, well she wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

Hermione smiled back hoping that her thoughts were being broadcast loud and clear for Ron to hear.

'_**You will pay for this.'**_

She was pretty sure he understood her because he gave a lopsided grin before turning back to Helena.

Hermione felt rooted to the spot. That smile, it - was - familiar.

"Now, would be preferable."

Hermione looked back and found both Ron and Helena looking up at her.

"Oh, oh yes of course," she said before running off towards the kitchens.

It was only for a second, but when he smiled at her...she could have sworn she could hear the sound of the sea wash over her.

* * *

Hermione threw her apron on the bed in frustration.

"Bad day?" Ginny questioned looking up from the magazine she was leafing through.

"Your brother - ugh! I just - " Hermione let out another frustrated growl before she began pacing the room.

"It's like he does things just to - ugh!"

Hermione stopped in her pacing when Ginny started laughing.

"Guess some things never change," Ginny said looking up at her from where she lay on the bed.

Hermione stared at Ginny.

That's right, Ginny had told her that she use to argue with Ron all the time. Was this normal then? Did he always do things to make her lose her cool - to make her angry?

"It's only cause he knows you can't retaliate that he does it," Ginny continued, "But then again, you always found a way to make him regret it later on."

Hermione felt the sides of her lips twitch at the thought.

**'Hmmm...how should I make him pay?'**

Ginny moved so that she was on her stomach and could see Hermione more clearly.

"So what is it this time? It can't be worse than the day Harry's had."

"Why? What's happened to Harry?" Hermione wondered curiously, her thoughts of revenge flying out the window.

"Just a bad date with Cho Chang," Ginny made a face when she said the girls name before waving her hand in the air, "Forget that, lets just talk about why you're pissed off at my brother."

"Cho Chang?" Hermione repeated slowly, the name wasn't familar to her.

"Ravenclaw," Ginny explained, "Harry's had a thing for her since last year."

"Last year," Hermione repeated slowly.

She saw Ginny raise an eyebrow at her words.

"Remember something did we?" her friend asked her curiously.

"No," she said instantly and far too quickly.

Ginny scoffed.

"What did you remember?" Ginny continued ignoring Hermione's obviously fake answer, "You and Ron snogging on the beach perhaps?"

The way Ginny spoke Hermione got the impression that she wouldn't be surprised if that had actually been true. Hermione felt her face heat up at the thought. Was her relationship with Ron that serious that his family knew about it?

"So everyone knows we had a - special relationship..." Hermione trailed off her thoughts returning to her dream.

"Please anyone with eyes could tell you two were attracted to each other," Ginny replied, "Why else would you always be at each others throats? If that didn't scream frustrated sexual tension, I don't know what does."

Hermione was pretty sure she was staring at Ginny open mouthed.

"By the way are you prepared for tonight?" Ginny moved the subject along when it became clear that Hermione was far to shocked to contribute further to the conversation.

"I think so," Hermione said a look of concern crossing her face as she tried to contemplate what to expect at tonights D.A. meeting.

"I'm sure everyone will be thrilled to see you again," Ginny said getting up off the bed, "They haven't seen you since - well since you've returned to Hogwarts."

Hermione felt that strange and uncomfortable feeling rise within her. She didn't think she would ever be comfortable with people referring to her past - a past she herself didn't even remember. It was like letting everyone see her deepest darkest secrets and yet being unable to see them herself. At that thought, the image of herself bandaged and unable to see resurfaced in her mind and she felt herself shivering visibly.

"Hermione, are you alright?" Ginny asked in concern, "You look like you're going to be sick."

"I'm fine," Hermione said after pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind, she looked up at Ginny and tried to smile, "Thank you."

Ginny watched her for a moment before nodding her head, not exactly satisfied but accepting that Hermione did not wish to discuss the matter further.

"Let's get something to eat," Ginny suggested.

As if by habit Hermione nodded her head and instantly made her way towards the servants entrance of the common room. When Ginny saw what she was doing she instantly grabbed her arm.

"I meant together," Ginny said in a whisper, "I wasn't ordering you."

Hermione blushed. She had been so distracted by her inner thoughts that she had acted without thinking.

Hermione stopped just as she was able to reply when she saw Helena walk past them and out the common room. Hermione's eyes narrowed as she watched the girl leave. It wasn't like Helena had done anything to upset her but the very fact that she could do what Hermione could not was maddening.

Hermione nodded her head towards the common room entrance and Ginny followed her gaze. Helena had a book bag on one shoulder that she was readjusting as she pushed open the portrait entrance.

"Shall we follow her?" Hermione whispered.

"What?" Ginny said but then quickly lowered her voice when several eyes swung in their direction, "Are you mad? What would Ron say?"

"He trusts me," Hermione said in reply, the words felt like poison on her lips.

He trusts the girl that he thought was her. Still, Hermione thought, I do believe this is the best strategy.

"Invite her for lunch," Hermione said quickly a plan already forming in her mind, "We can spend time with her, observe her."

Ginny looked at her warily, still unconvinced.

"It wouldn't be odd for you to spend time with your brother's fiance would it?"

Ginny bit her lip in contemplation before nodding her head.

"You're right," Ginny finally agreed, "come on lets go before we lose her."

* * *

They finally found Helena sitting underneath a large oak tree that sat on a slightly sloping hill that looked down at the Lake. Hermione could see as she and Ginny approached Helena that there was a small group of students gathering at the bottom of the hill. They were on their brooms and playing an amateur game of quidditch near the waters edge.

Helena seemed undisturbed by the noise and chatter of the students and was currently perusing a large leather bound book.

Once they had arrived next to her, Ginny shared an uncomfortable look with Hermione. Helena was completely ignoring them. After a moment Ginny cleared her throat. Helena slowly looked up at them.

She seemed to recognise Hermione but she turned to look at Ginny expectantly.

"We were wondering if you would like to join us for a picnic lunch," Ginny said her face flushing as the words left her mouth.

Helena looked from Ginny to Hermione.

"But you have no food," Helena said after a moment.

**'Idiot!'** Hermione cursed herself.

"I-I'll go get -"

"No," Helena stopped Hermione just as she was turning back towards the school, "I'm not hungry."

"Well...well perhaps we'll join you anyway, its such a lovely day," Ginny said trying her best to smile at Helena.

Even Hermione didn't believe that. It was a horrible to be outside. The skies were cloudy and temptous, she wouldn't be surprised if it had started raining. The wind was also cold and biting and cut through Hermione's thin servants outfit.

Helena didn't reply, instead she turned back to her book and continued reading.

Ginny took this as an invitation and sat down beside Helena. Hermione followed her lead.

They remained in silence for an incredibly long time, or so it appeared to Hermione. She was trying to rack her brain for conversation starters but at the same time wondering if she, as a servant, would even be permitted to talk to Helena without her Master present.

"Ginny?"

Hermione and Ginny turned when a boy approached them. He was the Ravenclaw who Ginny was dating, Michael Corner.

"Hi Michael," Ginny said a hint of relief in her voice, clearly Hermione wasn't the only one who had been uncomfortable around Helena.

"This sure is a surprise," the Ravenclaw said stepping up to them and glancing at Helena who still had her head bent over her book, "What on earth are you doing here?"

**'With her.'**

It was obvious that that was what he was thinking but he stopped himself from continuing.

"Nice day for - " Ginny stopped abrubtly when a gust of wind rushed past them pushing some of Ginny's hair across her face.

Ginny wrapt her cloak around her tightly but was unable to suppress the sneeze from escaping.

"Come on," Michael held out his hand for her which Ginny took, "let's get inside before you catch a cold."

Hermione moved to follow them but Michael stopped her.

"Uh - why don't you stay with her," Michael nodded his head at Helena, "She is your Master's fiance right? she'll be your Master soon enough."

Ginny raised an eyebrow but Hermione was struck by the timing of it all. She nodded her head and gave Ginny a reassuirng nod.

This was the perfect opportunity for her to observe Helena unnoticed. With Ginny by her side, being popular as she was, she would attract far too much attention. If it was just Hermione then she could more easily observe Helena undisturbed.

"Alright," Ginny said still sounding unconvinced, "I will see you later He - Helena."

Ginny had quickly amended her mistake and Hermione nodded her head before sitting back down beside Helena.

She watched as Ginny and Michael walked back to the school building.

"Are you cold milady?" Hermione questioned, after taking a moment to determine how to correctly address Helena.

"No," Helena answered shortly.

How odd. Hermione thought to herself, she had seen Ron talking to Helena quite normally earlier that day. But then again, Hermione was a mere servant and Ron was - Ron was Helena's fiance.

A stab of pain cut through her at the thought but Hermione quickly pushed it aside and continued to observe Helena.

Helena was deeply engrossed in the book in her lap and Hermione tried to take a peek at the contents but Helena had an arm across the book and was leaning away from her so Hermione wasn't able to see much other than a few strange runes that were scribbled in the margins.

She did see a few books peeking out of Helena's book bag but unfortunately they were just plain notebooks and Hermione doubted that they would reveal much about what the Slytherin was doing.

All Hermione knew of the girl beside her was that everyone ignored Helena and she appeared to like it that way. Her thoughts returned to just a few days ago when she saw those Slytherin girls bullying and threatening Helena.

Obviously, Helena's was supposed to spy on Ron and the others but Hermione was certain that whatever made Helena agree to the engagement, it was more than just to get on the Minister's good side.

The whole situation had only confused Hermione more, all this time she had assumed that all Slytherins were spoiled, selfish and unfeeling creatures and yet watching Helena, she felt oddly uncomfortable.

Alone. Immersed in her studies. Bullied constantly...

As the words flashed in her mind Hermione felt a jolt of realisation.

Helena, Hermione realised, was what Hermione would have become had she been a Slytherin.

Hermione felt her eyes grow large as the thought sunk in before quickly dismissing the thought as ridiculous.

Just as she was beginning to agonise over that thought she saw something out of the corner of her eye.

Helena had finally looked up from her book in her lap. She was watching something down at the Lake. Hermione followed her gaze and saw the group of students who had previously been playing quidditch now settling down and talking and laughing loudly. They were members of several houses and Hermione recognised a few Gryffindors there as well.

Hermione's eyes shifted back to Helena. The book was now laying unnoticed on her lap. Hermione was finally able to see that it was an old copy of a D.A.D.A textbook, stained and ripped, with several notes written in the margins.

**'That's not as exciting as I thought',** Hermione thought dejectedly before her eyes returned to the scene at the bottom of the hill.

She noticed a few of Hufflepuff boys walking over to the group near the lake. Some of the students stood up and welcomed them. One of the girls stood up and ran towards the group, her short black hair was bobbing along as she ran, a large smile on her face.

She was calling out to someone in the group.

One of the boys clearly recognised her and waved at her as he and his friends continued towards her.

Hermione watched with interest, but not at the couple heading towards one another but at Helena. It had only been seconds but her face had gone from impassive and emotionless to confusion and now - whoa - was she angry?

Hermione squinted her eyes at the couple.

'Isn't that -'

Her thoughts were cut off abrubtly as she stared at the scene unfolding before them.

The girl had jumped into the Hufflepuff boy's arms and kissed him. A few cheers from the group of friends could be heard but Hermione didn't stay long to watch because Helena was already on her feet and walking away.

Hermione scrambled up from the ground and followed her.

She looked over her shoulder and noticed to her surprise that the boy, who she now recognised as Milly, had released the girl in his arms and was -

**'Oh.'**

Hermione's eyes widended in shock and she stopped in her tracks.

He was watching Helena walking away.

A look of concern crossed his face and he took a couple of steps towards them as though he were going to call out to her but before he could get far the girl, who Hermione presumed was his girlfriend, grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards the group, clearly oblivious that his attention was elsewhere.

The Hufflepuff shot one more glance back at Helena's retreating back before turning and following his girlfriend back to the group.

Hermione spun on her heel and ran after Helena.

She expected to find Helena fuming but when she reached her, Helena had slowed and was walking at a normal pace and her face was back to normal. She may have been holding her book bag a little too tightly but other than that her face was completely emotionless.

**'I don't even know what to make of that****,'** Hermione thought to herself following Helena the rest of the way back to the Gryffindor common room.

As soon as they were in the room, she was greeted by Ginny.

Helena walked past her and headed up the Girls staircase.

Hermione watched her before turning to Ginny. She opened her mouth, prepared to share everything she had just seen but something stopped her.

She quickly closed her mouth again.

"Well?" her friend asked of her expectantly.

"Nothing...nothing relevant," Hermione replied, which as far as she knew was perfectly truthful.

* * *

Hermione felt Ron's hands on her lips.

She could feel her face blushing at the close contact of their bodies but since it was so dark she couldn't see his expression.

They were huddled together under Harry's invisibility cloak. They were finally going to take her to the secretive D.A. meeting but before then they had to sneak past all the students patrolling the halls. They were able to go most of the way by using the servants stairs but they had to go directly across a long hallway before reaching their desired destination.

Apparently Ginny and Harry would be meeting them there. Why Ginny couldn't have shown her the way rather than Ron was beyond her. She really didn't know what to say to Ron anymore, not that their situation called for or allowed for conversation but still she felt incredibly uncomfortable alone with him - in very close proximity with him.

They had been halfway across the hall and Hermione was rejoicing at the prospect of being freed from this uncomfortable situation when suddenly a member of the Inquisitorial squad appeared before them.

Hermione was about to gasp at the sight of the Slytherin but Ron quickly placed a hand on her mouth and pulled her back with him behind a statute of a Hog.

The Slytherin didn't appear to be leaving anytime soon, he was just pacing the hallway in front of them. In the meantime, Hermione was pressed against Ron, one arm around her waist and the other covering her mouth.

She wanted to tell him that he didn't have to hold her so tightly, that he didn't need to cover her mouth, she knew to keep quiet. But even if she could tell him, she had the feeling that she wouldn't exactly do anything to push him away.

It was a strange feeling.

She wanted to get as far away from him and yet at the same time she felt herself wanting more. She wanted to know -

Hermione gulped as an image, a quite familar image now, of her and Ron snogging flashed before her eyes.

Just as she shook the image from her head, she felt Ron's hands loosen and she could feel his body stepping away from hers.

She stared at the spot where she had seen the Slytherin just moments before. She should have stepped out of the shadows and searched the hallways but instead she turned and looked at the person behind her.

In the darkness of the shadows she could still see his eyes staring down at her setting her body on fire. She saw him gulp visibly and she watched his lips as he licked them.

Sweat was dripping down her face despite the cool night air, and her hair was pushed in every direction by the invisibility cloak, and yet Ron was staring at her like -

Hermione looked up at him.

She was just about to take a step towards him when he spoke first.

"I've been thinking," he began slowly in a whisper, "Actually I've been talking to Ginny. Maybe we should start over."

Hermione saw him rub the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"If you - if we can't go back to the way we were before - like we were at Shell Cottage- then let's start over. We can try to be friends at least, right?"

Hermione watched him for a moment, his face shrowded in darkness. After a moment she found herself nodding in agreement.

"Friends," she repeated, "That would be nice."

She smiled shyly up at him.

_**Flashback!**_

_**Ron was staring down at her. An intense look on his face. She felt her lips curve up at him. A hand reaching up and touching his face, her fingers trying to smooth out his furrowed brow.**_

"_**I love you."**_

_**End Flashback!**_

Hermione shook the memory from her mind and focused on the person standing in front of her.

**'Yes, friends,' **she thought to herself, **'If I push him away now, now after I know everything I do, I'd just be repeating my mistakes. Doing the same thing Hermione did. That horribly selfish thing of just erasing him from my life.'**

She felt Ron's hand on her shoulder, he squeezed her arm slighlty before they both moved out of the shadows.

Hermione glanced up at Ron's back.

**'I can't hurt him like that, I think it may just push him over the edge if I abandon him once more.'**

Hermione's pursed her lips.

**'But what can I do?'** she felt like she was being spun in a dryer,** 'I've already become so dependent on him and I don't want that. The whole point of my research was so that I could become independent of my Master.'**

Hermione realised as she walked along behind Ron that whether she liked it or not, she and Ron were linked. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't remove him from her life, she cared about him too much. She wasn't entirely sure when her feelings had reached this point, and perhaps she was just reacting from the flow of memories that had been resurfacing but either way, she didn't want to leave him, not again.

But at the same time, if she and Ron were to become close once more, and if something were to happen to her - it would push him over that edge. He wouldn't be able to come back from that. She knew it. She saw it in his eyes. Like at any moment his fascade would crack, like glass and be washed away.

So wrapt up was she in her own thoughts that she walked straight into Ron when he had stopped. Her eyes widened however when in front of her eyes what had been a plain stone wall had suddenly changed into a door.

Ron stepped forwards and she followed.

Once they were inside, he pulled the cloak off of them and Hermione was momentarily blinded by the light.

A chorus of people sang out her name the instant the door closed behind them and the room was flooded with light.

"WELCOME BACK HERMIONE!" a large banner read and as her eyes slowly descended on the faces in front of her she felt her lips curving up into a huge smile.

"Lavender! Anna!" she cried out running towards her friends.

They looked at her shyly before running forwards to meet her before they each hugged her tightly.

"Are you very angry with us?" Anna said the moment they stepped back from each other.

"Angry?" Hermione said in confusion.

"We've been going to the D.A. meetings," Lavender explained, "I only found out about it recently, Seamus told me about it."

"The only thing is," Anna continued, "You can't be at Hogwarts if you attend the D.A. its just too dangerous."

"Wait - how long have you two been here? And where exactly is here?" Hermione eyes finally ascended upwards and she stared around at the room.

The wooden floors and panneled walls reminded her of an old gym. There were mattreses on the ground and stacks of books scattered around the room.

"What is the D.A.?" Hermione said after a moment.

"Dumbledore's Army," a voice said from behind her.

Hermione turned and saw Harry walking up to her, Ginny by his side. She glanced around briefly when she didn't see Ron. She finally spotted him near a group of Ravenclaws. She turned back to Harry when he reached her.

"Dumbledore, as in the Headmaster?" Hermione said looking at Harry in confusion, "Why on earth would you name something after him?"

A few surprised faces looked back at her.

"I mean," Hermione quickly added, "I know he's a brilliant wizard but he's not exactly pioneering for changes in the Ministry."

Harry narrowed his eyes at her.

"He saved your life, and the lives of everyone in this room," Harry said glaring at her angrily.

Hermione widened her eyes in shock.

"What?"

Ginny placed a hand on Harry's arm and pushed him aside so that she was facing Hermione.

"Whether you remember or not," Ginny said shooting Harry a disapproving look, "He is the one who has been organising an underground group."

"The Order of the Phoenix," Lavender said stepping up beside Hermione, "Some of the Hogwarts teachers are members and they teach us muggleborns."

"Teach?" Hermione said in surprise, "You guys have been having secret lessons?"

Again Anna looked at her guiltily.

"It's been mostly done during the school breaks and a few times a month," Anna explained.

"Dumbledore has been keeping the Ministry distracted so that they don't notice what he's doing," Ginny continued, "keeping them placated by his non-resistant attitude while at the same time secretly teaching muggleborns and other students too scared to attend school."

"H-how is this possible?" Hermione said feeling herself grow faint, this night was just one surprise after another, "And how is that I've never been..."

Hermione trailed off.

"Hang on, so - is that why I knew those spells?" Hermione realised slowly picking pieces of her memory together.

Without even realising her eyes instantly went to where she had last seen Ron.

He was no longer there, having wandered off while she had been talking to Harry and the others. But if this was true, if the muggleborns were still being taught and protected by Dumbledore and the teachers then...there was no reason for her to take down the Ministry. There was no reason for her to push Ron away. Right?

"Oh!"

A few people turned to look at her when she suddenly spoke.

"Ginny, Harry," Hermione stepped towards them and whispered to them, "That guy Ron's talking to, that's him."

"Who?" Harry said in confusion trying to pinpoint the person Hermione was discreetly pointing at.

"Milly," Hermione said quietly, "The one who knows Helena."

At this Ginny and Harry turned to look at one another.

"No," Harry said in disbelief, "He may be a pompus twat at time but he couldn't have anything to do with a spy."

"Whose Helena?" Lavender questioned curiously and Hermione realised that since Malfoy had ordered the school owls to refuse to send her letters she hadn't been able to talk to her friend.

Her felt her body tense when she answered.

"Ron's fiance," she said through gritted teeth.

Lavender's eyes widened at this.

"Hermione," she said in a sympathetic voice.

"I'm so sorry," Anna added.

Hermione shrugged off their comments, after all it wasn't like she and Ron were in a relationship.

"Anyway, we should ask him about Helena."

"Right," Harry agreed before he turned to Lavender and Anna, "Maybe you guys should return to practicing your spells."

When Lavender frowned at him Harry quickly added.

"We don't want to seem as though we're ganging up on him."

The girls nodded and walked of, leaving Hermione with Ginny and Harry.

She followed Harry across the room, her eyes watching the other students as they practiced spells. She noticed a few adults in the room but none that she recognised. A strange girl with pink hair waved happily at her before she accidently tripped on a mattress and a few students ran over to help her up. The young woman just smiled in embarrasement before a rather pale looking man helped her up from the floor. Hermione frowned as she turned back to follow the others. That man looked so familar.

She glanced back at the pale man and though she noticed he had several deep scars on his face, no memories were triggered.

Hermione frowned in frustration.

"Well hello there Harry old chap."

Hermione turned when someone spoke. She was standing face to the face with the Hufflepuff, the only person, who Helena seemed to act normal around. He ran a hand through his short dark blond hair as he nodded at Ginny. His grey coloured eyes turned to Hermione briefly before he looked back at Harry.

"Hey Ernie," Harry said in response, "Mind if we have a chat?"

* * *

**AN: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG DELAY! I actually wrote this chapter weeks ago, but I have just moved overseas and its taken me this whole time to not only move my furniture but also to set up internet. I am happy to say that I am almost done with the next chapter so it shouldn't be too long to wait before the next one is released. I am really very sorry! I hope this uber long chapter placated all of you either angry or concerned about my disappearance.**

**What to expect next chapter:**

**- Finally learn more about Milly and Helena's relationship**

**- Hermione and Ron have a chance to become closer during DA meetings**

**- More memories of Shell Cottage helping Hermione understand her feelings for Ron better**

**Bonus Material:**

**I have been searching the net trying to find a good picture that is similar to the Helena I have in my head because I think you guys may be interested. I have managed to find one but you can decide if you want to see the picture or keep the image of Helena you have in your head. The picture is a bit of a spoiler because in a later chapter we will learn more about Helena and it may influence how you see her, and this particular picture could easily be straight from a scene I have in my head. SO MAJOR SPOILER! **

**Here's the link: http://img09(dot)tx(dot)us(dot)mangafox(dot)com/store/manga/1385/03-013(dot)0/compressed/fos_4thanniversary_doedoebird(dot)jpg**

**Replace the "(dot)" with . for the links to work, and just ignore the writing in the picture.**

**Response to Comments/Reviews:**

**Bookworm8721: **You will eventually find out why though there are already hints in the previous chapters.

**dream-injection:** I'm sure Ron would do quite a few questionable things if it meant keeping Hermione safe especially since he is still guilt ridden about the whole shrieking shak incident but yes I think that he would prefer her to stay away from Hogwarts all together than to do something like erase here memories.

**ErinFabu: **You are correct, she was 'acting' as Ron's servants but they were friends and their relationship (before the shrieking shak accident) followed canon events/relationships.

**connieewing:** Oh yes Lance, I will bring him up more in the following chapters. I am glad you like him :) And thanks for reading!

**Caelestis Amor: **Oh thanks sweetie! I loved that song too.

**Jump_In_A_Hole:** Oh you hate Hermione? Hmmm well I hope that you will slowing love her again just like Ron will :)

**Celticscorpion:** YAY! I love that people are accepting of Helena, the last thing I want to is to create a Mary-Sue. She has a complicated backstory which I hope to slowly reveal as the story continues. Thanks for the lovely comments.

**Lil'Hermione34: **Thank you! I am sorry for the delay though :(

**xo_i_love_emmet_xo: **YAY! Non-confusion FTW! XD

**theclumsyone5:** Thanks! I'm so glad you are enjoying the story :)

**Robin_of_Nottingham:** 3 Thank you for your comments :) I was smiling from ear to ear by the end of it, everything you wrote is exactly what I wanted to achieve and it is so incredibly satisfying and such a relief to know that I have achieved what I have set out to do. XOXO

**firefairy2917:** Thanks!

**sunystone:** Thank you! Please continue to read and review :)

**EllowynTinuviel**: Yes it would be very easy to stick an 'instant resolution' sticker on this fic. Merlin so much easier! But no I want to challenge myself so I will continue with the story as I have planned from the beginning. Thanks for the love, it is truly appreciated.

**OverTheMoon42:** LOL _ It's up to your imagination as to what they did in the uniform, you will find out eventually though LOL But if you want to believe that they did the deed than go ahead ;) Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon and its great to know that you love the story. Thanks for commenting!

**Zussie2394: **LOL its good to know I have people so invested that they want me to post up a chapter a day but unfortunately it takes me a long time to write, edit and also to reply to comments not to mention real life issues, not that I'm complaining but I do like to take my time even if it drives all of you crazy. Thanks for the comments.

**pearls-and-crystal-blues**: "darkly adorable" oh nice! I love that description, and may just steal it for future chapters XD Thanks for your fantastic words of encouragement. XOXO

**Aggiegurl12:** Oh you are so sweet! I am thrilled you are enjoying the story.

**TharzZzDunN**: ;) My lips are sealed on Lance but there is more than meets the eye with him (wow I felt very Jo just then lol) I hope you liked this chapter, I thought the memories were very dark in this one and were hard to get through.

**wow60**: Thanks! I am so glad you are enjoying the character dynamics, especially in relation to Helena.

**HermioneGrangerTwin**: Squee! Another Helena/Milly fan! Their relationship is also complex so I hope to slowly introduce their story in the next few chapters. But I hope I can rely on you to shout at me the instant Helena or Milly become Mary/Gary-Sues, I would hate myself if I did that to them. And since you also write fanfic I know I can rely on you to spot the signs.

**Can I finish the rest of the responses in the next chapter? I am just so tired right now. Apologies! **

* * *


	15. It's Beyond Me

**Chapter 14 - It's Beyond Me**

"Well hello there Harry old chap."

"Hey Ernie. Mind if we have a chat?"

The boy who Harry had called Ernie glanced at Hermione before nodding his head in response.

"Of course," he said before moving slightly and walking a few paces away from the group. Harry had no choice but to follow him.

Although they could only hear snippets of the conversation, anyone could tell by his demeanor exactly what Ernie was saying. Unlike with Helena, Ernie was one of those people who wore his heart on his sleeve. Hermione pondered on this as she watched the hazy grey eyes turn from jovial to serious and stern. Is that why Helena seems so attached to him? From what she had seen of him so far, people seemed to flock towards him and although he appeared pompous on first impression, he was friendly enough. To someone like Helena, Ernie must be a breath of fresh air, to be around someone who spent all their energy to ensure the comfort and ease of those around him.

Hermione eyes swept over the face of the boy who seemed to be able to do what none of them had. The one person who seemed to bring out the humanity in Helena. Hermione quickly chided herself for the thought, it's not like Helena was cruel or sadistic like other Slytherins, but her constant passive and emotionless demeanour was in its own way chilling at times.

Harry seemed to ask Ernie the obvious question, whether Helena was spying on them. Ernie's reaction shocked her. At the question his face broke into a smile, but it was a hard and cold smile.

The dark blonde hair that framed his face seemed if possible to grow even darker as his body stiffened and he folded his arms across his chest. His head shaking every so often as an emphatic 'no' was visible on his lips.

Harry obviously seemed unconvinced but again and again Ernie repeated his response. That there was no way that Helena was spying on them for the Slytherins. Harry was clearly thinking the same thing she was, if she was not spying on them then what the hell was she doing?

To her surprise, Ernie glanced over at them, he seemed to say something to Harry and Harry turned to look at them as well. He nodded his head, and the next moment they were walking back towards the them.

Harry cleared his throat before speaking.

"Helena is not spying on us," he said his voice still tinged with disbelief, "But..."

"I will not tell you her reasons for moving into the Gryffindor tower," Ernie said, "Perhaps if you all made an effort to get to know her, the answer would become quite obvious."

Hermione stared back at Ernie in confusion at his comment.

"What do you mean?"

Ernie turned his gaze to each one of them in turn, almost as though he were mentally sizing them all up but for what purpose Hermione had no clue.

"She likes walking around the Hogwarts grounds," Ernie said suddenly, he then turned towards Ron, "Perhaps you should accompany her sometime."

Hermione saw Ron's jaw clench at this and she too felt her body tense at the thought. She expected Ron to tell Ernie to go to hell but instead she noticed him glance in her direction before turning back and nodding his head at Ernie.

"This weekend is she..." Ron trailed off but from the expression on Ernie's face, it was clear he understood what exactly Ron was referring to.

"She's visiting her parents."

She noticed that Ernie looked at Ron warily, a question on his lips but it remained unspoken. This instantly made Hermione curious. What exactly was Ron's relationship with both Ernie and Helena.

Ernie turned to move away but Ginny stopped him.

"Ernie, you can't just expect us to believe that she's not spying on us, she is a Slytherin after all."

"What of it," Ernie said his grey eyes turning a stormy black, "You of all people should know better than to discriminate based on first impressions."

This caused Ginny to flush before looking away.

"I never believed she would spy on us," Ron added after an uncomfortable silence passed.

Ernie had a tight smile on his face when he turned to face Ron.

"Congratulations on the engagement," he then looked at Hermione, "I am glad that you are doing better Hermione."

Hermione stared after him.

"Do - I - know him?" she said slowly.

"He respects you," Ron explained, "You were the driving force behind the D.A. after all."

Hermione blushed once more at this comment.

"You have a lot of friends here," Ginny said touching her arm slightly, "Come on, lets give everyone a chance to say hello."

Hermione nodded her head though she was reluctant to leave Ron's side. There was so much she wanted to say to him right now. Mostly, she wanted to tell him that she wanted them to start over. But when she glanced back at him, he was already deep in conversation with Harry.

"So who is Ernie exactly?" Hermione questioned Ginny while they walked, every now and then they was stopped by a person or a group of people. They hugged her, asked how she was doing and then when there was a lull in the conversation when she confessed that she didn't know who they were or didn't understand a question they asked. Ginny usually made a good natured comment and took her arm and lead her away.

"Ernie MacMillan," Ginny answered, "The Macmillan's are one of the oldest pureblood family's around. His father works in the Minister's office as a top official and his mother does some charity work or another. Her yearly balls are always eagerly anticipated and the most talked about, not only because the Macmillan's are fantastic hosts but because they are the few purebloods who would dare to openly invite both purebloods and muggleborn witches and wizards to their parties."

"And the Minister just allows this?" Hermione said in surprise.

"Don't forget Hermione," Ginny explained, "The Ministry official line is that they are not anti-muggleborns, they simply make it difficult for them to live in a wizarding society. If someone as high up as the Macmillan's wanted to invite some muggleborns to their _**private**_ house for a _**private**_ party, the Ministry can't exactly forbid it."

Hermione found this thought intriguing and made a mental note to investigate this flaw of the Ministers further, his desire to have the appearance of a benevolent and wise leader could possibly be his downfall.

"Do you suppose that's how they know each other?" Hermione questioned after a moments recollection.

"Who?" Ginny said in confusion her attention momentarily elsewhere.

Hermione saw her friend was watching Harry, who was currently instructing a pretty asian girl on the proper wand motions of a spell.

"Helena and Ernie," Hermione explained.

"Oh yes, I suppose," Ginny said in response, "Both their families are of the same social class afterall."

Hermione sighed. The prospect of getting to know Helena was becoming less and less appealing, she couldn't pinpoint the reason why but she knew it had to do with Ron. She had a sinking feeling that if she got to know Helena the greater the distance between her and Ron would become. The thought struck her as incredibly self centered and selfish and completely unlike her - or at least the person who she thought she was.

She pushed the horrible feeling aside and tried to smile as Ginny introduced or re-introduced her to some more members of the D.A.

* * *

Hermione felt the next few days pass at a crawl.

Every now and then she and Ron would have an awkward conversation. He always seemed to be rushing off to one place or another and now that she knew about the D.A she wasn't under any delusion that it had anything to do with her.

Apparently there had been an attack on a muggle town, though nothing was mentioned in the papers, except a few lines about muggles senselessly attacking one another. Hermione wasn't about to start defending the actions of muggles, their violent history spoke for itself, but at the same time, the more immersed she became in the D.A the more she became aware of the tight grip that the Ministry had on the media.

She could only shake her head in disbelief when instead of reporting on a Dementor attack, the latest in an increasing trend apparently, there had instead been a few puff pieces about the Minister and a few of his cabinet.

Evil?

She was sure that the Minister wasn't evil but that didn't mean he wasn't malicious and power hungry.

Hermione sighed and slumped against the wall in the boys dormitory. She had been taking refuge in their room lately, usually while they were in class as the others believed she needed more practice acting like a proper maid before she could survive a classroom environment. She thought this was ridiculous, because as far as she could remember she had been a servant for Ron the last few years. But Ron had bluntly explained that as they were in Gryffindor and what they did was more for the spying eyes and bugs in her bracelets, she wasn't really prepared for what happened in classrooms. She had left the conversation at that, the looks on all their faces was enough to convince her that she didn't want to be in too much of a hurry to be a servant in the classrooms.

She chewed on the end of her sugar quill and stared out the nearest window at the darkening skies. It had been weeks, or so it seemed, since she last wrote to Lance. She desperately wanted to hold onto that link to the outside world. He always seemed to know what to say to make her feel if not relaxed at least momentarily at ease. She wondered if she could call him. There was a muggle public phone at Hogsmeade, and now that she had her maids uniform, she could walk around on her own quite safely - well moderately safely, she didn't know if the rules would extend to Malfoy. She had escaped his notice so far but now that her relationship with Ron was becoming more complicated she felt as though every breath she took near the blonde boy was being monitored.

The door suddenly swung open causing Hermione to jump up from her seat on the wooden floor.

Ron stood in the room an annoyed expression on his face.

"Ron? what's wrong?" she asked immediately.

"This stupid owl!" he said through gritted teeth waving his hand around in the air.

It took her a moment but she finally spotted a tiny owl zooming around Ron's head.

"Take care of him would you," Ron said quickly.

Her mouth dropped open.

"Uh -" she said trying to keep her eyes on the little bird, "If I can see him of course."

"Weasley?" A female voice called.

Hermione's body instantly stiffened.

After a moment, Helena stepped into the room, her usual untidy hair held up by several quills. It gave her a haphazard appearance and Hermione wondered if the girl had just absent mindedly stuck them in her hair and forgotten about them.

"Weasley, do you have the book?" Helena questioned Ron not even glancing in Hermione's direction.

Hermione felt a twinge of annoyance. She had heard several Slytherins call Ron by his last name but nothing in Helena's tone, as always, showed even the slightest hint of emotion attached to the words. If Hermione had to be perfectly honest it seemed just another of Helena's oddity, she never did call anyone by their first name. Hermione realised that she didn't even call Ernie by his first name, rather a nickname from his last name.

Was it another way to distance herself from others or just an unconscious habit.

"Yeah -" Ron paused for a moment looking around his desk before suddenly seizing on a book and walking over to Helena, "Here you go."

Helena stood for a moment leafing through the book.

"Shall we get started then?"

Hermione felt herself burn with curiosity.

'**Get started? Get started with what?'**

She resisted the urge to glare daggers at Ron and instead distracted herself by trying to catch the little owl still zooming around the room.

"Y-yeah okay," Ron said before the two began walking out of the room, before he closed the door he quickly turned back to her, "See if you can train the little nuisance, he's too small to carry packages so you should just teach him to send letters."

She caught Ron's eye before he closed the door.

"What's it's name?" she said quickly before the door closed completely, but he apparently hadn't heard her and the door closed shut.

Hermione looked down in surprise when she felt something furry in her open palms.

The little owl was now nuzzling her fingers.

"Hi there," she said softly, "Have you got a name?"

The little owl simply puffed itself up, causing its feathers to ruffle before settling back down just before it flew away again.

Hermione paused just as she began to chase after the little owl.

Ron's words began to swim in her head.

Only a few days ago she had told him about Malfoy ordering the owls to refuse to send her letters.

And just now, that quick look he had given her.

Once again he had found a way to help her without being overtly obvious about it. It wasn't the first time and she didn't know if she was touched or disturbed by his actions. Was it another way for him to control her or was it a simple gesture of his - **_affection_** for her.

* * *

Hermione stared in surprise at her wand.

"Imp - ugh - pressive," Ron said pushing himself up from the floor, "You seem to remember a lot of your defensive magic."

"Like a bike I suppose," she said in response still shocked that she had cast a disarmament spell on Ron without a second thought.

He dusted himself off and smirked.

"Bet you can't do it again, now that I'm ready for you."

The sudden sense of deja vu hit her and she returned his smirk, surprising herself when the words left her mouth.

"Oh you'll never be ready for me."

The words were clearly meant as a joke and she was sure that her playful tone would have made that clear but for some reason Ron's face paled and his hand dropped to his side limply as he took a step back from her.

But it was too late, Hermione had cast the spell before she had seen his reaction and just as he lowered his hand the spell hit him straight in the chest.

Hermione let out a cry of horror as her feet instantly moved towards Ron's limp body.

"Ron, I'm so sorry," she said helping him up from the floor, a dazed look on his face.

He was wiping the sweat from his face so she couldn't see his face as he stood back up.

" 'm fine," he mumbled before pushing her hands off of him, "...just gonna get some air."

With those words, and without even looking back at her he left her alone. She watched him walk past the other students and muggleborns practicing their spells. When the door closed behind him she felt a presence behind her.

She almost jumped in fright when Ernie spoke to her.

"Interesting," he said more to himself than to her, "He and Helena must get along swimmingly."

Hermione turned her head and arched an eyebrow at his comment but Ernie was already walking away from her.

'_**What the hell is that supposed to mean?' **_she thought to herself.

Hermione glared at Ernie's retreating back before turning on her heel and following Ron out of the room.

She needed to talk to him properly. Tell him that she really did want to start over with him, if that was even possible.

Hermione followed the usual procedure for leaving the room of requirement. She checked Harry's map, which was pinned up on one wall near exit, it was able to show the location of all the students at Hogwarts.

Hermione had just checked that there were no students in the hallways near the room of requirement and was headed towards the doors when something caught her eye.

Ron.

The little dot on the map with Ron's name floating above it was headed onto the school grounds. He was headed towards the lake.

She had a moment's hesitation as to whether she should follow him, clearly if he was heading there he wanted to be alone. She knew that much about her former Master.

Hermione had just decided that she would take the opportunity to talk to him when another dot could be seen approaching Ron's.

**_'Helena.'_**

Hermione stood rooted to the spot just staring at the page.

_**'He obviously wants to be alone.'**_

_**'Yeah alone with her.'**_

_**'What business is it of yours? You're the one who wanted to be 'just friends' with him?'**_

Hermione would have continued on having her internal debate until someone bumped into her, causing her to lose her footing.

"Watch it," a female voice said in irritation.

Hermione looked up just in time to see a girl with short black hair walking away from her. Her eyebrows raised however when she saw the girl walk over and latch onto Ernie's arm. He looked down at her for an instant before saying something and then pushing her arm away.

She didn't wonder at his response, he was in the middle of dueling practice with a Ravenclaw when the girl had walked between them and stepped up to Ernie. Hermione realised that the girl was the same one who had kissed Ernie near the lake the other afternoon so clearly she was his girlfriend.

"Give it a rest would you Andrea, we're trying to study here," the Ravenclaw who Ernie had been duelling with said as he folded his arms across his chest and looked at the girl in irritation.

"Excuse me if I want to spend a little time with my boyfriend," Andrea said with a pout, before turning to look at Ernie.

Hermione saw the Ravenclaw throw up his hands in disbelief before walking off.

"Andrea," she heard Ernie say in a stern tone, "We were practicing and you just - "

"Don't call me Andrea'," the girl spat back before straightening herself up, "It's Alexandra, or have you forgotten the name of your girlfriend?"

She saw Ernie roll his eyes at her.

"You can't just decide to change your name and expect everyone to follow," he said in exasperation before recollecting himself and saying in a calmer tone, "Look, I told you I'd tutor you after the D.A. is over," Ernie continued extricating his arm from her grip, "Until then, _**please**_ just - I don't know go gossip with your friends."

At this point, Hermione wasn't the only one was watching the pair. And she caught Ginny's eye before her friend walked over to her.

"Unbelievable right," Ginny whispered to her, "The lengths some girls with go."

Hermione noticed that Ginny's eyes had momentarily flashed to the same pretty Asian girl who she had seen with Harry the last few days.

"Indeed," was all she said in response, "Do they always fight like this?"

"I wouldn't really call this fighting," Ginny said slowly, "Andrea just likes to monopolise his time."

"And he puts up with it why?" Hermione questioned curiously, "She doesn't exactly seem his type."

Ginny considered this for a moment.

"He's too much of a gentlemen to tell her bluntly how he feels I suppose. Ernie may be a pompous arse sometimes but his parents did have a good influence on him. They are both such nice people, it would be odd if some of their manners didn't rub off on him," Ginny began twirling her wand through her fingers, "And besides, they've been dating since their first year."

"I see," Hermione said slowly watching as Ernie walked away from his girlfriend.

"Why so interested?" Ginny looked at her strangely, "Not developing a crush are we?"

"No, unfortunately your brother keeps me occupied enough, I don't need another distraction."

Hermione gasped and her hands flew up to her mouth when the words left them.

She saw the Weasley smirk appear on Ginny's face, but fortunately Ginny take the opportunity to tease her.

"Then why are you in here, while my brother is outside?"

Hermione furrowed her brow.

"He's with Helena," Hermione finally answered with a frown.

"So?"

Hermione looked at Ginny in surprise.

"He's with his _**fiance**_," she replied, placing emphasis on the final word.

"Hermione come on, it's Ron we're talking about. From what I can gather, you guys were practically a married couple for almost a year. Do you honestly think that Helena would be any competition for you?"

Hermione ignored the 'married couple' comment and quickly moved on.

"But wouldn't it be odd if I, a servant, suddenly showed up and wanted to speak to my Master?"

"It's Helena we're talking about, unless you state bluntly that you're in love with him or start snogging him on the spot, I'm pretty sure she'll be oblivious to the subtle hints you give my brother."

"What are you two talking about?" Harry questioned as he stepped up to them, "Looks like D.A.'s over for today, unless you're interested in hearing Andrea complain some more."

"Ugh," Ginny said in disgust, "She may actually be worse than Fluer."

"Who?"

Ginny turned to look at her.

"You don't want to know," she said to Hermione and then in a whisper, "She was practically throwing herself at Harry last year."

"She was not," Harry said with narrowed eyes.

"Sure she was," Ginny said a stiff smile forming on her lips, "You were just paying too much attention to Cho to notice anyone else around."

Harry's eyes widened in surprise at this, but he didn't get a chance to say anything in response when Ginny added under her breath.

"Speak of the devil."

"Harry, can I talk to you?" the pretty asian girl who had Hermione had seen quite often at the D.A. meetings had approached them.

"We were just leaving anyway," Ginny said pulling Hermione out of the room with her.

"Okay," Hermione said slowly when the doors to the room of requirement dissapeared.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing," Ginny said shrugging her shoulders.

Then after a few seconds silence Ginny continued.

"I'm just so sick of everyone shaking up and leaving me alone, we have more important things to deal with than just their love lives."

"I'm sorry that you felt we abandoned you," Hermione said in a soft voice before something occurred to her, "But you're not alone, you're dating Michael Corner, right?"

"What?" Ginny said distractedly before continuing, "Oh yeah...well the point still stands."

"I don't see how when you're just as guilty as the rest of us -"

"Alright Hermione I get it," Ginny snapped before sighing, "Sorry, I don't even mean half that stuff."

Hermione watched her friends changing expression.

"Gin," she said slowly, "How long have you been in love with Harry?"

Ginny sputtered at her.

"I'm not - are you insane?"

Ginny looked at Hermione with wide incredulous eyes before walking off. As she was walking off down the hall she walked past Ron, who was apparently headed back to the D.A room. Ginny clearly still frustrated gave her brother a few whacks.

"Oi!" Ron said indignantly as his sister hit him.

"Boys are so stupid!" she said before storming off into the distance.

Ron was still rubbing his shoulder when he walked up to her.

"What was that about?"

"No idea," Hermione said in response, "You okay?"

"Yeah," he chuckled, "I've grown up with Ginny, the day just doesn't seem complete without her verbal or physical attacks."

"Where -" "Did I miss -"

They both stopped when they had spoken at the same time. The awkward silence returned.

"You go ahead," Hermione said after a moment.

"Is it over?"

Hermione felt her chest clench at his words.

"Why? Are you thinking about taking things with Helena seriously?" Hermione said her voice shaking slightly but she hoped he didn't notice.

"Actually yeah, and I needed your help with that," he said in reply seeming surprised that she had grasped the concept so quickly.

"Well forget it!"

"Shhh!" Ron instantly placed a hand over her mouth when she had started screaming, he pulled her into a nearby classroom and closed the door.

She saw him cast a silencing spell on the room before turning back to look at her.

"Now, why won't you help? It was your bloody idea in the first place," he said accusingly.

"Excuse me! I never told you to start dating her? or perhaps you already started dating during the summer."

Her heart was beating erratically and she only just realised that she was pacing the room, a row of desks between her and Ron.

It took Ron a few moments to consider her words before he apparently gave up and stormed up to her, his face growing dark.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise, this was the first time she could recall that Ron had gotten this angry at her. His expression had completely changed. His eyes were narrowed, and his face and neck were changing to the typical Weasley red.

"Y-you," she cleared her throat and spoke again in a more defiant tone, "You sir, galavanting off with your fiance while the rest of us are working on bringing the Ministry down."

"You are completely mental! You know this right?!" Ron said his chest rising and falling quickly and he slammed his hands down onto the table in front of her, she jumped from the noise his hands made on the desk, "Merlin help me, you were easier to deal with comatose."

Hermione's mouth dropped open at his words.

Ron was now standing gripping the edges of the wooden desk, his head bent low as he tried to calm his breathing.

"You idiot," she said before running from the room, barely hearing him calling her name.

* * *

_**Hermione would be lying if she said that she felt any better being out of bed than being stuck in it.**_

_**She had spent months, to her it felt like years, laying on the bed in the downstairs bedroom of Shell Cottage, that she had quite convinced herself that she was probably going to whither and die there. A morbid thought, but it was hard not to be morbid when the weather was so horrible these days. **_

_**The day, no the instant, Ron had asked if she felt well enough to get up out of bed she was sure she would kiss him, almost had too until he practically jumped away from her touch. **_

_**That was weird. **_

_**Though it shouldn't be. Viewed in a normal light his reaction would be understandable for a boy of fourteen. Hermione sighed inwardly at the thought, in a few more months he would be fifteen however and surely by this point the thought of being touched by a girl shouldn't send him proverbially running for the hills.**_

_**She hadn't questioned him about his strange behaviour at the time but as the days passed she was growing increasingly impatient with him. **_

_**Only last night they had been sitting at the dinner table, her in her wheelchair, a warm woolen shawl draped across her shoulders, sent by Ron's mother presumably by the 'H' stiched into it, having a quite normal conversation. Mrs Figg had dropped by earlier that day, to give them 'private tutoring' as the muggles had been told but were actually being updated on goings on at Hogwarts and back home in London. **_

_**She had stayed long enough to help Hermione bathe and dress before rushing out the door claiming that if she left a man called Mundungas alone too long he would probably run off with half her family possessions. Hermione was more than confused by that statement but Ron had simply laughed as he waved her goodbye. They both watched the elderly woman, who they had unfortunately seen less and less of lately, walk away into the distance. **_

"_**Would you like me to push you around the back garden?" Ron had questioned her after a moments silence.**_

_**They spent most of their time in the back garden, shielded from the peering eyes of curious muggles. She had the sneaking suspicion that they didn't quite buy the story of the older brother tendering to his sickly younger sister while their parents were away on business. She saw it in their eyes sometimes on the rare occasion that Ron agreed to take her with him to the local market. **_

_**Some of the muggles looked at her with pity, some glanced at her then quickly away again, and others well they simply stared open mouthed. She hadn't the courage to look at herself in the mirror again since that time she had awoken and practically screamed the house down when she saw her own reflection in the mirror. She noticed that Ron either removed all the mirrors from the house or covered them with a cloth. A part of her was curious what it was about her that was attracting so much attention, another part of her was simply incredibly self conscious and wanted to crawl into a ball. **_

_**She sensed that Ron knew exactly how she had felt after that first time and was pretty sure that that was the reason he was so reluctant to take her with him on his weekly grocery trips. The thought of Ron shopping for groceries almost sent her into a fit of giggles the first time he had told her, she had actually spat out the soup she had been eating at the time. Ron had give her a bemused look as well as something else, she was pretty certain now that he knew that her disbelief would grow into curiosity before she would begin planning to spy on him. **_

_**He was getting quite good at that she realised. Though it shouldn't be a surprise. She still found it difficult to talk for long periods without her throat began to ache or the words simply refused to leave her lips. Not to mention that she had being unconscious the first few months and then unable to talk at all the months following meant that Ron had to quickly adapt and learn her body language. **_

_**Some days a simple look from her, not even directed at him would cause him to get up and remedy whatever it was she was thinking about at the time. Sometimes he would get her a book to read, other times, something to eat or drink and other times he would push her around the garden or beach when he saw the boredom evident in her eyes. **_

_**At first it embarrassed her that he could practically read her thoughts but other times she was incredibly grateful. She had wanted to ask him for weeks how on earth he was able to read her so easily. She had finally gathered up the courage last night at dinner. **_

_**She had been watching him as he moved about the kitchen, chopping vegetables and stirring whatever he was cooking in the various pots. To be perfectly honest she was analysing him, trying to decipher his body language and see if she too could become adept at reading his every thought. It was quite frustrating after all to never know what another person was thinking, while they seemed to anticipate your every wish. **_

_**The conversation had started simple enough. They were talking about Harry. He had called earlier that evening, their friend often used the muggle telephone set up in the 'Hogshead' to ask their advice or simply to talk. She got the impression that there were a lot of things on Harry's mind and he just wanted to pretend that he wasn't at Hogwarts. Those times she felt incredibly guilty, if she had only been quicker and smarter then perhaps she would have noticed the gang of slytherins heading towards the Shrieking Shak. She would have seen their wands raised up almost simultaneously as the bombarded the building with one spell after another. And she definitely wouldn't have been in a position of tettering on life and death while those around her placed their lives in danger by lying to everyone about why she and Ron were not in school. **_

_**She was sure Malfoy would be happy thinking that Ron was the one who was crippled instead of her but she often wondered if that was all that really was, if all they truly wanted was to get Ron out of the picture. And if so then why at that particular moment? Ron's father wasn't causing waves at the Ministry, even if he made it clear that he didn't agree with the Ministers approach to several issues. But still he continued to work there, so it wasn't like he was making enemies left and right, why then attack Ron? Simply because he was Harry's friend? No, that would be too obvious, and if she knew anything about the Malfoy's it was that they were anything but obvious, though they wanted everyone to think otherwise. **_

_**Harry was having some trouble with the latest task he had been assigned as part of the Triwizard tournament. An egg of some sort that he couldn't figure out how to crack, literally. But other than that, both she and Ron sensed that there was something else on Harry's mind, something on the tip of his tongue but that he was holding back from them. She wanted to ask but Ron had given her a look. She didn't need to read minds to know what he was telling her. **_

_**Considering that they had shared a dorm room with each other for several years, she begrudgingly accepted that Ron knew Harry better than she did. And when he told her to 'drop it' rather than badger the truth out of their friend she listened. After all her tactic usually caused Harry to stop talking to them altogether. Harry still had the frustrating idea that everything wrong with the world was his fault and the last thing he wanted to do apparently was to share any of that weight on his shoulders with his friends. It was infuriating at times, and that was saying something, considering that she was also friends with Ron and she felt like tearing her or more accurately his hair out every time they had a 'disagreement'. **_

_**Perhaps that's what felt so wrong about this whole situation. On the outside it appeared perfect, Ron took care of her, nursed her back to health, he was thoughtful and sweet, but it all felt wrong somehow. This wasn't the Ron that she knew, this wasn't the Ron that she had on numerous occasion in the past wanted to slap and yet...**_

_**But it was different now. She didn't want to start complaining that Ron was being too sweet and caring, that would be plain ungrateful of her considering all he had given up to be with her but still part of her felt like intentionally provoking him at times so that she would see the Ron whom she had grown up with over the years come back.**_

_**This Ron, the Ron who had spooned mashed potatoes onto her plate while they discussed Harry's situation, as considerate as he was just wasn't - well he wasn't Ron.**_

_**This combined with her feeling of frustration and helplessness caused her sudden outburst just as he sat down at the dinner table.**_

"_**I wish you would stop doing that," she said in a huff when he had picked up her glass and was about to pour some iced tea into it.**_

_**His hand stilled in mid-air. She could see his eyes devouring hers, she practically feel him rifling through her brain trying to decipher her meaning.**_

"_**And I wish you'd stop doing that too!"**_

_**Ron placed the jug back onto the table. His mouth opened and she thought for a moment that he was finally going to start shouting back at her, but instead it closed shut without a single word leaving his lips. Instead his face simply tensed before he moved back in his chair and watched her. **_

_**She had to turn her face away from him then.**_

"_**I don't like you reading my thoughts like that," she said through gritted teeth, she could already feel her throat drying up.**_

'_**Not now!' she screamed at herself, 'I need to say this to him.'**_

_**Even though it hurt like hell she turned back and glared at him before screaming.**_

"_**And I wish you'd stop pretending to be some knight in shining armour always coming to my rescue," she wanted to sound angry but since her voice was starting to fade she was pretty sure she sounded more like a petulant child.**_

_**She could practically taste the blood in her mouth now. Damn, she really did need to drink some of that cool tea now but hell if she was going to ask him to pour her some.**_

_**The room fell silent, she wanted to say more, she wanted to get angry and start throwing everything within reach at him, but instead she just sat there glaring at her plate. She could hear the ticking of the clock in the kitchen and the crashing of the waves but not a single sound from him. **_

_**Finally, she heard Ron sigh before he reached across the table and poured her the ice tea, almost as though she hadn't just shouted at him. **_

_**Argh! She wanted to shake him, hit him, do something to get that mask to crack. Because she knew it was a mask, the Ron she knew wouldn't have just sat there. His face would have gone red with embarrassment or anger and he would have shouted her down, said something idiotic without a second thought how it would make her feel. **_

_**Was she insane? **_

_**Did all those months cooped up in a house with a somber and grave Ron make her actually crave that boy who had called her a 'pain in the arse who wouldn't know fun if it danced naked in front of her'? **_

_**She heard the chair scrape against the wooden floor but she didn't look up when Ron left the room. **_

_**After a moment she reached for the tea he had poured her and drank almost the entire contents. The cool liquid calmed her down somewhat, enough to know that she should apologise to Ron. But when he came back, a vile of potion in one hand which she readily accepted, the simple squeeze he gave her shoulder made her realise that he wasn't angry with her.**_

_**As Hermione drank the potion and handed the empty bottle back to him she saw the strangest expression cross his face. **_

_**He looked - not happy exactly but content - no that was the wrong word for it too. **_

_**Whatever that emotion was, it scared her. It was almost like he wanted her to get angry at him. If she had to guess, she would say that he wanted - but no that couldn't be, that was too ridiculous to even consider. **_

_**Hermione looked away from him and began to eat her meal. But she couldn't shake that thought from her mind.**_

_**Perhaps that was why, as she sat the following day in the living room, staring at the overcast sky outside that she felt so wretched.**_

_**Hermione had abandoned the book that Ron had given her to read when he had stepped out a few hours ago, to tend to the garden, or so he had said that was what he was going to do. She had watched him open the french doors and walk out into the garden then returned to reading her book. **_

_**But every now and then her eyes would look up from the book in her hands to the french doors. After a while she wheeled herself over to the doors and tried to spot Ron in the garden, the overcast sky cast strange shadows on the lawn so it was difficult to spot him at first. **_

_**When she finally did spot him, her eyes had simply moved on, her mind unable to register that it was truly Ron.**_

_**She would have screamed but that would hardly have been smart. **_

_**Ron was standing in the distance, his body completely still. His pale skin looked deathly white against the overcast sky. But that wasn't what had sent her heart racing in panic. It was where**** he was standing.**_

_**He was on the very edge of the garden. On the edge of the cliff that dropped straight into the sea below.**_

_**What was he doing?! her mind screamed. Was he trying to get himself killed?**_

_**She saw the strong wind moving his hair and clothes about but his body remained motionless. **_

_**Hermione quickly reached for the handle of the door and opened it, she was just about to wheel out onto the porch to call him back when he turned back to look at her. He must have heard the noise she made because he stepped back from the edge before turning around fully to stare at her.**_

_**Their eyes met for one terrifying moment. His gaze remained on hers for a moment too long before his face broke into a smile and he waved at her. He actually waved at her, like he hadn't been just standing on the edge of a cliff that at any moment he could have plummeted to his death from. **_

_**And that look he had given her. The look that he had held for a moment too long. **_

_**Merlin, it sent shivers down her spine just thinking about it. **_

_**He had actually looked disappointed. Maybe she wasn't the one who was going insane being here for so many months. Did being with her make him actually want to jump off a cliff?!**_

_**But the next instant his expression had changed, so much so that she had to wonder if it was just the trick of the light, that the overcast sky had cast a strange shadow over his face. And maybe she was just over-thinking everything, something which even she admitted she did often. **_

_**Ron had began to walk back to her, she saw him pick up something at his feet before he reached the steps of the porch.**_

"_**What's wrong?" he questioned her a confused expression on his face.**_

_**She wanted to say 'like you don't know' but she was still to rattled from what she had just seen to form any coherent thought.**_

_**When she didn't answer, Ron walked up the steps towards her. She felt ashamed of herself when she actually backed away from him as he approached. She saw him raise an eyebrow at her when she moved back into the house without a word. **_

_**She made a mental note to keep an eye on him from that moment on. She had just positioned herself back in the living room and began reading again when she saw him enter the room. She glanced up as he past her to see that he had a bundle of twigs and branches tied with some twine in his arms. That was apparently what he had been doing for the last few hours - that and almost killing himself she thought to herself. **_

_**She heard the cracking noise as he snapped the branches before tossing them into the fire. **_

_**CRACK!**_

_**Was it really a trick of the light?**_

_**CRACK!**_

_**Has he really gone insane?**_

_**Did he -**_

_**She stilled in her movements. The book slowly falling to her lap as she stared at Ron.**_

_**He was still knelling beside the fireplace, the pile of branches beside him. And in his hands was a large branch. He was staring at it, just staring at it. **_

_**She saw his fingers close even tighter around the branch.**_

"_**Ron?" she said softly when she starting to feel uneasy.**_

_**That snapped him out of it.**_

_**He instantly snapped the branch before tossing it into the fire as well.**_

"_**Yeah?" he said nonchalantly. **_

"_**Are you - "**_

'_**Insane? Suicidal? Going to strangle me in my sleep?'**_

_**She felt horrible for that last thought, she knew Ron would never hurt her, but whether or not he would hurt himself was another question entirely.**_

"_**Alright?" she finished finally.**_

"_**Fine," he said giving her a lopsided grin, "Just thinking about my parents. Wondering how they're all doing back home."**_

_**She tried to return the smile he was giving her but all she was able to manage was a twitch of her lips.**_

"_**What would you like for dinner?" he said abruptly standing up from the floor, wiping his hands on his trousers.**_

"_**I'm not sure, anything is fine I suppose," she said, not really thinking about food at the moment.**_

"_**Okay, well I'll just take a quick shower before I start."**_

"_**Start?" she grimaced when she heard her voice practically squeak.**_

"_**Start cooking," he elaborated giving her an odd look.**_

"_**Oh," she said slowly, "Okay then."**_

_**She then turned and pretended to read her book. She didn't look up until she heard the sound of his footsteps on the stairs and the sound of the bathroom door click close. **_

_**She let out a breath she didn't even realise she had been holding before dropping the book on her lap. Her eyes drifted to the fire. **_

_**A chill pierced her chest. **_

_**She swallowed nervously before moving towards the fireplace.**_

_**There on the wooden floors were tiny blotches of blood. The deep red was already seeping into the wood. **_

_**Her mind replayed the scene in her head in slow motion.**_

_**He was holding the branch in his hands, his fingers clenching tightly around it, before his hands snapped the branch. **_

_**The way he had quickly stood up and brushed his hands against his trousers as though to wipe the dirt from them, when he had actually been wiping the blood from them.**_

'_**Okay don't over react, it may not be what you think.'**_

_**But for once Hermione ignored the voice in her head.**_

_**What she had dismissed as ridiculous for the past few weeks...could it actually be true?**_

_**Could Ron actually be deliberately hurting himself? Out of guilt over what had happened to her?**_

* * *

Hermione had trouble sleeping that night.

She was still furious at him for his comment but after her most recent memory she didn't know if she had any right to be angry with him. She had obviously put him through so much, who was she to judge the ways he had developed to deal with the situation, even if it was a morbid sense of humour. Then again, every time she thought about him asking her to help him with his relationship with Helena all those rational thoughts left her mind and she just wanted to practice a few hexes on him.

But had he really been hurting himself?

She could believe that he felt guilt over what had happened to her, but to go so far as to hurt himself, the thought made Hermione sick.

And here she thought that things between them couldn't get anymore awkward. Now whenever she saw him she felt panic rise within her. Not from fear, no she at least agreed with Hermione on that point, she knew Ron would never intentionally hurt her. No, the fear she felt was for him. She felt so protective of him now. Like he was a small child that she needed to protect from the world.

She knew that she was being ridiculous. Ron wasn't a child. You just had to look in his tired eyes to see the depth of experience within them. But still, a part of her ached for him. She felt on more than one occasion as they were talking the unnerving desire to reach across the distance between them and hold him in her arms.

But that was the problem wasn't it. There was still this gaping void between them, which would be greater if she decided to support his relationship with Helena. If she had any hope of helping him, at the least getting him to talk about what would make him hurt himself, then she would first need to take seriously the suggestion that they start over as friends. Just friends, which meant that she should support him if he really was interested in Helena.

She still felt incredibly conflicted. If they were friends than surely it would be easier for him to confide in her but then she would have to endure him talking about another girl in front of her, and merlin forbid if he started snogging Helena in front of her.

_**"Okay. Just focus, one thing at a time. How to mend the bridges and become friends with him?"**_

She wasn't exactly experienced in that area. Her social interactions in the past had been limited, as far as she could remember at least. And since she was still unable to recall how they had first started becoming friends in the first place it was difficult for her to learn from the experience.

All she could remember from their first meeting was their brief conversation on the train platform and then later in the boys dorm. Both times she was in such a state of emotional turmoil that she didn't even attempt to become friends with either Ron or Harry.

How on earth then did they end up so close?

Not only were they friends with her but from the scraps of memories she had been able to recall, they actually listened to her on more than one occasion. Not without argument but she had felt that that was a perfectly normal reaction considering how bossy she was in those memories.

Hermione groaned as the thought swirled around in her head and she dropped herself back onto the pillow and sleeping bag that was layed out between Harry and Ron's bed.

At least with Harry it had been easier to be on friendly terms with. There wasn't that ever present tension between them as there was with her and Ron. At times, the silence and tension was so thick between them, that Hermione would have preferred it if he would just order her around again.

True, it had annoyed her when he had ordered her around in Helena's presence just to provoke a response out of her but since that day his mind seemed elsewhere. This concerned her. Everyone had their dark days but somedays Ron would walk straight past her without a word, his eyes glazed over as he mumbled this or that to himself.

She wanted to talk to him about whatever was on his mind but whenever she tried her mouth would become dry and begin to sting as the memories of their time at Shell Cottage came flooding back. Not to mention, they still hadn't talked about what had happened in the classroom. He still hadn't apologised for his thoughtless comment either.

"It's hopeless!" she said finally in frustration, slamming her hands down on the floor before sitting up once more.

She instantly jumped up off the floor and grabbed a quill and parchment off Ron's desk, the quill practically flying across the page as she wrote a letter to her friend.

* * *

_**L**__**ance****,**_

_**How are you? I'm so sorry I haven't been writing to you lately but things here have been hectic. Actually insane is probably a more apt word to use in these circumstances. The guy I've been telling you about, the one who I think I am in serious danger of developing feelings for - well lets just say that whether I like it or not I've learnt more about him in the past few weeks than I had - well then I thought I had for the past few years. **_

_**But even though it feels like we are getting closer, I somehow also feel as though we are simultaneously being pulled further and further apart. **_

_**I am afraid for him though, I worry about him - most of my time these days I spend thinking about him. I know how that must sound but I'm serious when I tell you that I am afraid that something bad may happen to him. The worse thing is that I think it will be my fault. He seems to spend so much of his time protecting me, and as each day passes I realise just how much he has been protecting me, that I fear that he has forgotten how to take care of himself. What am I supposed to do to help someone like that? **_

_**Lance, I am really afraid that he may hurt himself if this continues. **_

_**I am starting to remember things, things that are so disturbing that I have trouble sleeping most days. **_

_**But I want to help him. **_

_**More than anything else I want to protect him.**_

_**Is that strange? For me to want to protect someone who only a few months earlier I despised with every fiber of my being? **_

_**How do I get close to him, enough for him to open up to me about his problems? Because there's a darkness inside him that scares me to death and yet at the same time I want to reach inside that dark place and pull him out. The real him. **_

_**How do I do that Lance?**_

_**How do I bring that fire and passion back into his eyes?**_

_**I'm afraid of what will happen to him if that light in his eyes fades completely.**_

_**What am I supposed to do?**_

_**And does being his friend mean I have to support his relationship with another girl? A girl I don't even hate but I want to strangle at the thought of her kissing him?**_

**_......._**

** It really is hopeless isn't it?**

* * *

A/N: A lot going on in this chapter :/ I hope you all found it entertaining. I'd actually written most of it last month but that darn memory of Hermione's was seriously a pain in the arse to write. Either way I'd love to hear your thoughts.

**What to expect next chapter:**

- Ron and Hermione have another confrontation

- The girl in question makes another appearance

- Hermione finally gets a chance to go to one of Ron's classes

**  
****BONUS MATERIAL:**

**This is Hermione's theme song, but I suppose considering its a duet, it could be considered Ron/Hermione's theme song for this story :)**

http://www**(dot)**youtube**(d****ot)**com/watch?v=sovLhfqx5NQ

**_I watched you sleeping  
quietly in my bed  
You don't know this now  
but theres some things that  
need to be said_**

**_  
And it's all that I can hear  
it's more than I can bare_**

**_What if I fall and hurt myself  
would you know how to fix me?_**

**_  
What if I went and lost myself  
would you know where to find me?_**

**_  
If I forgot who I am  
would you please remind me_**

**_Ohhh  
'Cause without you things go hazy_**

* * *

Response to comments/reviews of Chapter 12:

**Eckles/Wayne:** Sorry I didn't respond to your comments from Chapter 12, but I really couldn't respond without the events that have occurred in this chapter being revealed. I think a lot of people, sometimes myself included, would just like a quick, fluffy/happy ending for R/Hr but seriously they are both so incredibly damaged at this point in the story that to even consider that would be ridiculous. I am working hard trying to bring them both back from the dark places that they are in right now. And when I feel that they are beginning to resemble the characters from canon again I may then consider getting a bit more romantic. I won't lie, this story is a challenge for me and its a stretch of my abilities, but as much as I want to bang my head against the walls sometimes figuring out the characters and their individual motives I will continue to persevere, even if the time between updates is ridiculously long. Thanks for your insights and comments, they're usually what holds me back from a just throwing my hands up in the air and making this story a fluff-fest :)

**Response to comments/reviews of Chapter 13:**

**ObsessedRHShipper**: What relief I feel when I see your comments :) Thanks for continuing to support me first of all, and secondly I hope I've answered your questions about Ernie (the person Hermione recognised in the DA meeting). I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter.

**wow60: **Oh those blasted letters, I think Hermione has a lot on her plate right now, but don't worry that issue will come back to bite them in the arse soon enough :p

**bookworm8721:** Wow! really? Squee! I love dropping little hints along the way and I'm so glad that you've picked up on them XD

**55ironpen**: It makes my day to see a review alert XD so thank you for making my day. And gosh your compliments are making me blush.

**BittyBlueEyes**: Thanks! I hope you liked this update ;)

**Eckles/Wayne**: Sorry about the delay, real life and what not ;) Hermione...I really don't know what to say about her, but I think you've got her emotional and mental state pretty much nailed down. She has a hard time reconciling the person she was before the accident and the person she is now. I think she is very slowly (at a snails pace) beginning to accept the things she had done in the past and how it affects, if at all, the person she is today.

Milly, or Ernie Macmillan as we now know him to be, has a very long and complicated relationship with Helena, probably too complicated for me to share entirely in this fic. I am however, planning on doing another story after this one is complete just about their relationship. I would love to challenge myself by creating their history and relationships, I've tried in the past to write original characters but have only created very simple characters. I already know Ernie and Helena's story that I am quite excited to get started on their story. But, sorry I've gotten side-tracked...

I do feel Ron has been trying to deal with the guilt over what happened to Hermione and I think his situation is very similar to Harry's emotional state after the events of GOF or OoTP. I won't even pretend to be able to write on the same scale, actually not even in the same universe that the Great Jo has been able to achieve, but I will say that that is where I see Ron. He feels immense guilt, and I know that a lot of people will assume, as Hermione has here, that he has taken to simply hurting himself as a punishment of sorts, but its much much more complicated than that. I'm quite exhausted just thinking about his situation, and I desperately want to bring the old Ron back, but we're still far away from that goal. Until then I hope you continue to read and share your fabulous comments and/or advice.

As for Lavender and Anna, I am quite relieved to bring them back and I hope they will have a good influence on Hermione in the coming chapters ;)

Always lovely to hear from you.

**HermioneGrangerTwin:** Their relationship is so complicated that even I, the writer, don't know what the hell those crazy kids are gonna do next. And actually, I'm trying not to look sheepish here but, I said that "Hermione and Ron have a _**chance**_ to become closer during DA meetings", not that they would. And in typical R/Hr fashion they kinda implode when the possibility of them becoming closer is even a remote possibility. Sorry about that.

**conniewing**: I'm glad I'm keeping you interested, always happy to hear from my readers.

**You Know Who**: H/G fluff? it's in the works ;)

**ttt:** Thank you! I'm so relieved people are still reading and enjoying this little fic.

**pearls-and-crystal-blues:** Thanks! love, mystery and darkness, hmm I may just use that as my new summary for this fic, since my summary sucks XD

**lool86:** ahh kids in love with do crazy things lol but I agree its more complicated than just a physical relationship and it continues to have consequences for them now

* * *


	16. I cannot carry the weight

**Chapter 15: I cannot carry the weight of the heavy world**

"Hermione!"

Hermione gave an undignified scream as she jumped up from the floor where she had been writing a letter to Lance. She instantly shoved the letter behind her back as Ron ran through the door to the boys dorm towards her.

"W-what?" she stuttered trying her best not to look guilty.

"Come with me," without another word he grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the room and towards the common room.

She stumbled on the steps since he was walking so quicky and her arm was starting to hurt from where he was holding her.

"Ron, wait, I - "

Hermione stopped mid-sentence when she came face to face with Helena. She was crouched on the floor looking pale her head in her hands.

Hermione froze and it was a good thing that Ron had released her because she probably would have fallen over like a rock.

"Lawson," Ron began slowly knelling in front of Helena, "I got Hermione, she'll go with you okay."

Helena nodded her head silently.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay," Helena said softly.

Hermione stared at the pair in confusion.

"Ron?" she said slowly.

Both Helena and Ron turned to look at her when she spoke. She realised too late that she had just called her Master by his name, not only his name but a name only those close to him would know. She glanced at Helena nervously but the girl appeared not to have noticed, she was already standing up from the floor.

"Please," she said grabbing at the edge of her skirt nervously, "Don't tell Milly."

"Who?" Ron said in confusion.

"McMillian," Helena said before biting her lip and looking at Ron apprehensively.

Ron looked as confused as Hermione felt but he nodded his head before walking over to Hermione.

"Hermione, you have...can you go with Helana?"

Hermione stared at him dumbfounded, she looked behind him but saw Helena was already heading towards the door.

"What are you talking about?"

"This was your idea," he whispered back.

'_**Not this again,'**_ she thought furiously,_** 'I never told him to start dating her!'**_

"I thought you wanted to be her servant to dig up dirt on her."

Hermione's eyes widened at this.

"So..." she stretched the word out before looking up into his eyes, "That's what you meant last night? You were going to ask me to..."

Hermione trailed off as everything sunk in.

She heard Ron say something under his breath.

"What was that?" she questioned him.

"Nothing important," he said before looking behind them, Helena was now staring at them, "She needs to go home, her - her mother is sick. Just go with her and help her if you can."

"Alright," Hermione said slowly still trying to understand the situation. She took a step towards Helena before turning back and looking at Ron, "Why - "

She half expected him to finish her sentence when she stopped speaking, he was after all a master at reading her thoughts, but instead he just waited patiently for her continue.

"How do you know it won't be dangerous?" she finished finally.

"I don't," he replied giving her a meaningful look before pushing her towards Helena, "Hurry."

Hermione nodded her head before moving towards Helena.

"We need to go to Dumbledore's office," Helena explained before stepping out of the portrait hole.

Hermione glanced back at Ron. He face showed a mix of emotions but he still managed to smile at her before she followed Helena from the room.

* * *

Hermione wasn't entirely sure what it was she expected, but this was definitely not it.

They had both sprinted to Dumbledore's office, Helena every now and then looking behind them as though expecting someone to be following them, but at that time of day most of the students were still out or having dinner.

Helena had practically thrown herself into the fireplace before spinning into nothingness. Hermione stared at the fire, half in awe and half in familiarity. She started when someone touched her.

Dumbledore was smiling down at her.

"Your things will be waiting for you Miss Granger," he explained, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he smiled, "And Miss Granger," he said just as she stepped into the fireplace, "Remember, it is not wrong to care for others, but sometimes you must accept that you can solve everyone's problems."

She stared back at the old man, a man who she knew she had never met and yet when she took in his long white hair, strange and yet whimsical robes and that odd twinkle in his eyes something inside of her sprang to life. This man, she felt, was important. And despite all the misconceptions she'd had of him, that he didn't care what happened to the muggleborns, and even if she didn't know the truth like she did now, one look at him would convince you that he cared. Perhaps too much.

As the green flames surrounded her and his old kindly face faded away she wondered if all this time the way she had been thinking was wrong. Its not that she didn't want to care, or that she was convinced that caring for someone would only result in you being hurt.

_**"It is not weakness to want people in your lives," **_she heard his voice echo in her head, a memory flashing before her as the world around her was spinning.

When she had looked into the Headmasters pale eyes, she had felt as though he had passed on a tiny fraction of his widom with her.

Merlin! She was such a fool.

She was scared.

Plain and simple. It's not that she hated Ron for what he had put her through, she didn't dispise herself, because now she was beginning to accept that that person who had been so in love with Ron and who had changed everyone's lives by erasing her memory was indeed her. No, it was that she was scared to fall in love.

She wanted to find reasons to push Ron away.

It would be easy, far too easy to love him. But that would mean she would get hurt, he would say something stupid, she would retaliate in turn but she would also feel pain, emotional pain. And she was afraid of that.

As these thoughts spun through her mind, she almost lost track of where she was and what she was doing. But she came to her senses in time to see what Helena had described as her fireplace.

Hermione slipped on the floor as she exited the fire and was still coughing from the ash and soot as she pushed herself up from the floor.

Hermione's eyes had to adjust to the light because the room she had entered was completely pitch black. She heard a noise near her before a small light appeared. Helena stepped up to her, a lamp in one hand.

"Please if you can," Helena said in a quick and quiet voice looking behind her before back at Hermione, "do not make too much noise."

Hermione nodded her head.

"I will go see my mother first, please wait here."

Helena only waited for a nod from Hermione before she dashed from the room the only source of light going with her.

Hermione moved to stand up from the floor. She felt something gritty on her clothes and hands. She always hated traveling by floo, it gets everywhere.

* * *

"_**You've got dirt on your nose," Hermione said looking at Ron despairingly.**_

_**He rubbed at his face but managed to completely miss the large spot of ash on his nose. Hermione stepped forward, holding back a sigh before she rubbed the soot from his nose but quickly moved to step away from him when the few customers in the Leaky Cauldron starting to glance their way.**_

"_**Thank you for coming," Ron whispered to her, a red tint appearing on his face when he too realised that people were starting to stare at them.**_

"_**Well," Hermione whispered back, "After everything that happened in the Chamber of Secrets, I wanted to make sure Ginny is alright."**_

_**Ron gave her a confused look.**_

"_**I meant to Diagon Alley," he said before leading the way to the exit of the pub and towards the entrance of Diagon Alley, "I know how much you hate being pretending to be my servant. You tell me every bloody chance you get."**_

"_**Just don't lay it on too thick," she said once they were alone in the small courtyard before adding, "Let's wait here for your parents."**_

_**Ron moved to sit on one of the empty crates after giving her a strange smirk. She pondered on that look for a moment before moving over to lean against the opposite wall.**_

_**After a few moments of silence she heard Ron cough awkwardly. She looked over at him.**_

_**He was rubbing his neck and looking away from her. She saw him visibly clear his throat before he spoke.**_

"_**And you know," another cough, "I'm glad to see you back to your normal self. I was, well Harry and I..."**_

**_He stumbled on his words for a moment before mumbling._**

**_"It was horrible to see you petrified, unable to move or speak. It's just good to have you back is all."_**

_**His face turned a violent shade of red as he looked away from her.**_

_**She opened her mouth to thank him but he stopped her.**_

"_**Bossing me around and all that."**_

_**She narrowed her eyes at him before turning her head and ignoring him for the rest of the time.**_

* * *

**_'Ahh, so that's Ron,' _**she thought to herself as she slowly moved around the room, her eyes having become accustomed to the dark now.

**_'How do I bring that person back? Is it even possible?' _**Hermione pondered briefly as she moved over to what she assumed was a window. She pushed aside the heavy curtain, coughing when a layer of dust fell down on her head. She waved her hand around to keep the dust away.

Taking a few moments to brush the dust from her face she realised that it was pointless to look out the window, it too was covered in a thick layer of dust.

Hermione frowned at touched the glass of the window, her fingers leaving a mark on the window.

_**'Odd,'**_ she thought, _**'Surely, if Helena's family are as rich as Ron had said then they should have maids or at least elves to clean the house for them.'**_

Hermione stepped back from the window and tried to move towards the door where she had seen Helena disappear through. On her way she bumped into something, she tripped slightly and cursed under her breath as she regained her position. She turned back and looked at what she had tripped over. It was a large chest.

_**'Odd,' **_Hermione thought for the second time, as she saw the large lock on the chest, it was positioned in the centre of the room and yet it was locked.

"Why?" she thought aloud.

Something creaked and she shivered as she felt a gust of wind rush past her. She turned around quickly and saw Helena standing in the doorway, her pale face in the lamplike made Hermione almost jump back in surprise. But she regained her composure in time to follow Helena's unspoken order to follow her.

The large hallway she stepped out into was not much different from the room she had just vacated. It felt cold and empty but for she felt her skin crawl as though a thousand eyes were staring down at her. She realised as they walked quickly up large staircase that there were portraits on the wall, each more horrifying then the last. Hermione shuddered when she saw one of a man standing over the dead body of a troll, its head decapitated.

She turned away in disgust and followed Helena along a long corridor. She felt like they were walking along a maze of portraits, all with moving figures and ghastly smiles. She ignored them also but was immensely releaved when Helena took out a key from her pocket and unlocked a large door.

With some effort Helena moved to push the door open. Seeing her struggle holding the lamp and pushing the heavy door open at the same time, Hermione stepped forward and pushed the door open for her. They stepped inside swiftly and quietly. Helena turned and locked the door behind her before walking forwards into the room.

"Over here," Helena said, Hermione looked at the girl in surprise, Helena's voice was hoarse and scratchy, as though she had just been crying.

**_'How bad is her mother's condition?'_** she wondered briefly before following Helena to another set of doors.

Hermione realised that they had entered a large room but it was definately not a bedroom.

**_'This house really is a maze,' _**she thought watching Helena take out another key and push open a smaller door.

Helena stepped inside and Hermione followed, entering another room. This one had a large bed in the center of the room, and a few other objects of furniture in the room, though in the light she could barely see anything.

"This way," Hermione looked at Helena in surprise when she continued walking over to a corner of the room.

_**'This house really is a maze,'**_ she thought to herself as she followed Helena to what looked like a closet door, Helena unlocked this door also before pushing the door open and gesturing Hermione inside.

Hermione did but couldn't see much in the dark.

Helena stepped in behind Hermione and placed the lamp down beside a small table. She then moved around the room turning on a few lamps as she did. The room slowly lit up, but it was still quite dim when she walked back to Hermione.

"This is the key to the room," Helena said handing Hermione a large iron key.

Hermione held the heavy object in her hand.

"You'll have to make do with the lamps in the room," Helena explained, "I can't perform magic outside school."

Hermione nodded in understanding, before furrowing her brow.

_**'But wasn't that law abolished when Malfoy became Minister?'**_

"You can rest now, you're things have already arrived from Hogwarts," Helena stepped back into her own room, before stopping and looking at Hermione as though she wanted to say something more.

"If you hear noises at night," Helena began slowly, "Just ignore them, this house is very old, and has a lot of ghost."

Hermione wasn't entirely sure what kind Helena was referring to, the kind they had at Hogwarts that floated around the school or something else.

But instead of questioning her, Hermione simply nodded her head in understanding.

Helena pulled the door closed and Hermione was left alone. She turned and looked around the room, not as large as Helena's but still quite large, comparable to what her room back home. If she had to guess then the strange arrangement of rooms were similar to the old Master bedrooms, one for the Master of the house and the room she was in now was commonly used by the Mistress of the House or as a nursery. There was only one exit from the room, the same door which she had entered the room. Hermione stared at the heavy key in her hand bewildered before walking over and placing it down beside the bedside table.

Unlike the other furniture throughout the house, this room was clean and tidy. Hermione moved around the room the lamp in her hand. There were marks on the wall where the outline of once hanging portraits could be seen. She wondered briefly what had happened to the pictures but was somewhat relieved that they were not there, the house already gave her the hibby-jeebies without the addition of watchful and often talkative portraits.

She turned and made her way back to the bed which was pushed against one of the walls, furtherest away from the door. She sat the lamp down on the bedside table beside the key and took a seat on the bed. It was soft and comfortable and fortunately didn't have the odd mildew smell that some of the other furniture throughout the house had had.

She jolted slightly when she heard a cough in the room next to hers before quickly realizing that it was simply Helena, in fact Hermione could see Helena's shadow from under the corner of the...

Hang on.

Hermione stepped over towards the door when she noticed a photo framed on the wall beside the door. If it weren't the only object on the wall it wouldn't have seemed so odd but the position of the photo and the strange movements of the people inside the photo made her curious.

It was only after a moment of squinting at the picture trying to determine what it was about the photo that was odd before she took a step back in resignation. The instant she moved back her eyes widened in surprise.

The picture was of a young girl with dark blonde hair sitting primly beside a boy with similarly messy dark blonde hair. If Hermione would have guessed she would thought that they were siblings but the next moment the stern faces of the children cracked and the boy jumped off the chair that they had been sitting on before pulling the girls hand and running out of the frame.

Hermione stared in shock.

Ernie and Helena had known each other since childhood. That definitely explained his surprising understanding of her character and why on earth he had a unwavering belief in her. But still, Hermione considered, people do change as they grow older, especially Slytherins.

Hermione started when there was a sudden knock on the door. She quickly rearranged her face to not give away that she had been snopping aorund the room before opening the door.

"Food," Helena said as she stepped inside carrying some food on a few plates.

Hermione moved over to the centre of the room when she saw Helena walking over and sitting down on the floor.

"Don't concern yourself over the sleeping arrangements," Helena explained in her usual abrupt manner when Hermione joined her.

Hermione was just about to take some cheese when her hand stilled.

"Pardon?"

"I won't be here much so you'll have the bed mostly to yourself," Helena explained taking a sip of water which she had just poured into two small cups for them.

"Alright," Hermione replied still not sure what Helena was referring to, before saying, "We're going to share this room?"

Helena tore a piece of bread and bit into it before nodding her head.

"This room is the safest," she said, Hermione waited for Helena to explain further but she just continued to eat her meal.

Hermione wanted to ask why Helena had to go through so much trouble in her own house. There was a much larger room right outside this one and yet she wanted to stay here, where there was only one exit. True, the room had its own bathroom and fireplace but it still seemed an odd choice for someone who could have had her a whole wing to herself and not be disturbed. Instead of saying any of this out loud however, Hermione just continued to eat and stare at the girl in front of her.

_**'What exactly is your relationship with Ernie?'**_ she questioned internally.

"I'll be with my mother tonight, if I need you I'll come get you."

Before Hermione could say anything in response, Helena was standing up again and walking towards the door.

Hermione nodded her head in understanding wishing that she could just speak to Helena but she still felt so dazed that it was hard to do anything other than move her head in assent.

The door clicked closed and Hermione was left alone in the dark room.

* * *

**Hermione awoke early that morning. She could feel the cold seeping through the windows. she tried to snuggle into the bed, pulling the covers closer to her. She turned expecting the warm body of a person next to her but when her hands touched empty space only then did she slowly, very slowly open her eyes. Squinting through the light, whatever light that could get through on that overcast morning to discover she was indeed alone in bed. She yawned and stretched trying not to feel disappointed. **

**It had all started on Christmas night. **

_**She still had trouble walking and Ron had to help her up and down the stairs to her new room after she had had a little too much of the butterbeer that Mrs Figg had sent them. She leaned against Ron's chest as he struggled to get her up the stairs. She was pretty sure he was a bit tipsy himself but she knew that he wouldn't ever drop her. **_

_**Strange. Before she had come here, she still saw Ron as a child, of course over the past few years it was hard to keep a sense of normalcy but when the three of them were together, Ron, Harry and herself, they did the best they could to act their age, what they thought normal child would do and it was - nice.**_

_**She snuggled closer to him, her arms tightening around his neck.**_

"_**I miss the snow," she whispered into his neck.**_

_**She thought she felt him shiver beneath her and wondered if he would be able to carry her up the stairs, his body seemed a bit unstable at the moment.**_

"_**Hmm..." was all Ron said in response, though he had cleared his throat before he even did that.**_

"_**I miss Hogsmeade," she continued, "I miss sugar quills, fresh ink and newly arrived parchment..."**_

_**She hadn't even realised that she had been crying but Ron obviously had noticed when her hot wet tears began to seep through his shirt.**_

"_**I know," was all he said and it was enough, she really just needed someone to listen to her whinge for a while and Ron...she let out a small giggle as the thought occured to her. Ron didn't seem to notice, or he assumed she was still giddy from the butterbeer, which was probably true.**_

'_**Ron was actually a good listener,' she thought to herself still in disbelief, before they had come her, she could hardly get through a day without having a row with him over one thing or other. **_

_**This thought made her uncomfortable for some reason. She snuck a peak at Ron as he pushed open the door to her room. **_

_**From this angle, she could almost believe him to be a man, not a boy anymore. She reached up to touch his face and he turned to look down at her. He looked at her quizzically. She could see a question in his eyes. The Ron from a few months ago would surely have said something but he didn't. **_

_**Did him being alone during those months she was unconscious result in him being unable to talk as he had before. But she was being ridiculous, she thought instantly, he was perfectly capable of talking to her normally. Then again, he also seemed to rely more on his powers of observation rather than asking her questions. The old Ron in fact probably wouldn't have asked her anything at all, the old Ron would have done as he pleased. He was sweet in his own way of course, being protective of her, especially when she was threatened by Slytherins, even if he couldn't show it openly, he always seem to deflect their anger onto him. He had gotten more than a few bruises on her behalf. **_

_**She felt her body touch the soft bed as Ron's arms released her, as she lay staring up at him, her mind went back to that night in their first year. The image of Ron unconscious on the chessboard. She held his hands, preventing him from stepping away from her.**_

"_**Stay with me."**_

_**She was so shocked to hear the words echo in the room.**_

_**Her eyes were no doubt as large as Ron's were. **_

'_**Did I just say that?'**_

_**His brow furrowed. **_

_**They continued to watch each other for what felt like an eternity before she saw Ron unbutton his sweater, and toss it on the end of the bed. He then crawled into bed beside her, his eyes constantly on hers. **_

_**She rested one hand on his chest as she turned to lay on her side, as did he.**_

_**They simply lay there watching each other.**_

_**Her free hand moved slowly up his chest to his face but her eyes remained on his. **_

_**She felt his hands rest tentatively on her hip before sliding to her back. She shuffled forwards and moved her body to lean against his, she felt him move also holding her firmly to him. She closed her eyes as she rested her head against his chest. The rhythmic beating of his heart so soothing to her. **_

"_**Ron," she whispered into the night air, afraid of shattering this perfect moment.**_

"_**Yeah?"**_

_**She felt their legs intertwining and she marvelled at how their bodies just seem to fit, to meld together. Two pieces of the same puzzle. **_

_**She moved her head so that she look into his eyes once more. **_

"_**I think," she began very slowly, "I think..."**_

_**She thought she saw the corner of his eyes crinkle as the all too familiar crooked smile appeared on his face. He opened his mouth as though to say something, a joke perhaps, to tease her perhaps and she would have loved to let him, she missed that teasing Ron sometimes but instead she said,**_

"_**I think - I may - its a very strong possibility - that I may - "**_

_**One brow arched up as he closed his mouth and waited for her to continue. Her eyes flickered to his mouth before back up to his eyes.**_

"_**I may have very strong feelings for you."**_

_**She closed her eyes tightly after the words were out. **_

_**After a few moments silence she felt her body begin to shake. Confused she slowly opened them and realised that it wasn't her but Ron that was shaking. She looked up and saw him trying to hold back his laugh. His face was red and he had a hand over his mouth. **_

_**She gritted her teeth and grabbed the closest thing to her, which happened to be a pillow, not an ideal weapon but what the hell. She gave the red head a few whacks but that seemed to have the opposite effect, he released his hand from his mouth and laughed.**_

"_**Ronald Weasley!" she said indignantly giving him a few more whacks.**_

"_**Alright," he laughed rolling onto his back, "You loon."**_

_**He grabbed her hand to stop her hitting him but when their fingers touch she felt a shiver run up her spine as nervous tingles spread through her entire body.**_

"_**Ron," she said softly, she was knelling beside him on the bed, looking down at him. **_

_**She smiled when she saw the familiar Weasley blush creep onto his face. **_

_**Her smile disappeared when she felt her legs give way and she fell down on top of him.**_

"_**Ow," she said rubbing her forehead, which had hit his collarbone.**_

"_**What is it?" he asked her instantly, grabbing her, she tried to ignore the tingles once more when his hand touched the small of her back as she rolled her over so that he was now laying on top of her. **_

_**She let out a squeak in surprise, Ron quickly realised the position he was in before moving off her and sitting beside her.**_

"_**W-W-Where are you hurt?" he said looking at the wall opposite as his face turned a deeper shade of red.**_

_**"I-its **__**Nothing," she reassured him, "I'm not made of glass you know."**_

"_**But you said 'ow'."**_

_**She let out a puff of air in annoyance.**_

"_**Ron," she said reaching over so that he would look at her, "If I was truly hurt I would tell you."**_

_**When he looked at her disbelievingly she continued.**_

"_**Trust me."**_

_**This caused him to sigh before nodding his head.**_

"_**Alright."**_

"_**Um..." she began slowly, feeling her cheeks heating up, "Actually there is something I want."**_

"_**What is it?" he asked her.**_

"_**I want to hold me until I fall asleep," she had her eyes glued on his shirt rather than on his face so she couldn't see his reaction but the next moment be was moving and laying beside her once more.**_

_**She turned and rested her head against his chest once more, a shy smile appeared on her face which luckily he couldn't see. **_

"_**Ron."**_

_**She heard him chuckle.**_

"_**Yes?"**_

"_**Merry Christmas."**_

"_**Merry Christmas, Hermione."**_

**Ever since that day, they would often just end up snuggling together before both falling asleep. Hermione consoled her guilt over what her parents would think if they knew by telling herself that there was nothing of a - _mature_**** nature going on between her and Ron. They were both children after all. Though Ron would be fifteen in a few months time. But that was besides the point, age had nothing to do with it, she wasn't like those girls she saw throwing themselves at the boys. She was respectable, intelligent and knew more than enough about men, at least from what she'd read in novels and heard from other servants, to know that they couldn't be trusted with your heart if all they wanted was to get you into bed.**

**But as far as she could tell Ron wasn't even thinking about that.**

'**He's a guy, he's programmed to think of nothing else,' her conscious bit back. **

**She clamped down that annoying voice and pushed the bed sheets off of her. Come to think of it, where was the red head at this time of day. She glanced at the clock and could see it was only just past seven in the morning. She was just wondering whether she should call out his name when she heard the front door open. **

**She smiled. **

**He had probably just run down to the bakers to get - her - some...**

**Her thoughts trailed off when she heard someone giggling. A definitely _female_**** person giggling. **

**Without thinking she swung her legs around and was just about to run towards the door when her feet gave way. Luckily she had enough wits about her to grab hold of the bed post. She dragged her limp lower body back onto the bed and sat there for a moment catching her breath as the beads of sweat, from the effort, slid down her face.**

"**I'm sorry for the trouble," she heard Ron's familiar voice mumble as she heard the voices become clearer as they came further into the house. **

"**No trouble at all," the female voice replied sweetly, Hermione could almost see the girl batting her eyes at him. She made a disgusted face and lay back down on the bed when she started to feel queasy. **

'**What the hell is he doing? dating girls when he was supposed to...'**

**Her thoughts trailed off.**

"**How about I make you some breakfast," the girl pipped up cheerfully.**

**There was a brief silence.**

"**I'm an excellent cook," the girl continued before saying after a moment, "Who does that belong to?"**

**She heard a hint of jealousy and hardness enter the girls voice.**

**Finally, Ron spoke.**

"**It's Hermione's," he said simply.**

**Hermione smiled when she heard the tone that clearly said 'isn't it obvious'.**

**The girl was clearly waiting for him to continue but he didn't.**

"**Well..." the girl said once more before faltering, "Maybe I could make some breakfast for...your..."**

**The girl was clearly leaving pauses in her sentences for Ron to fill them but if she knew him, and Merlin did she know him, he was probably red faced and his mind floundering for an excuse as to why he was living, alone, with a girl in a secluded house in the middle of nowhere.**

"**...sister?" the girl finished finally with a hint of hope in her voice, "The girl I've seen you pushing around in that wheelchair."**

**Hermione's temper flared. **

"**How dare that girl just - just - oh damn it all."**

"**What was that?" the girl said once more.**

**Hermione realised too late that she had spoken aloud, and loud enough for Ron to hear her.**

"**Hermione?" Ron called up to her.**

**She wanted to shout back 'WHAT!' to convey as much anger as she could but instead she said.**

"**Yes," before adding through gritted teeth, "Brother."**

**Merlin help her. She couldn't stand that she had to go along with the girls assumptions, but she had to admit it would answer a lot of questions. It was the only respectable explanation, that a 'brother' was staying with his sickly sister to care for her while their parents were away on business. And the old lady, Mrs Filch, who visited every few weeks was a home school teacher.**

"**I'd love to meet her," she finally heard when her temper had cooled down somewhat.**

'**I bloody wouldn't!' she hurled back internally. **

**But she didn't have to say anything because she could practically hear the protectiveness and anger in Ron's voice when he next spoke.**

"**Leave now," before he added, "Please."**

**Hermione almost snorted. **

"**Excuse me," the girl said in surprise.**

"**I really don't have time for visitors today, as I told you before."**

'**Hah!' she felt her heart leap triumphantly at those words. But hang on a moment, why the hell should she care whether he flirted with girls.**

"**But - she's a cripple, its not like she'll disturb us."**

**She heard Ron's heavy footsteps before the sound of the door swinging open could be heard. **

"**GET - OUT!"**

**Hermione's eyes widened in surprise at the anger she heard there.**

"**Well suit yourself you - overgrown - " the girl struggled for a moment before saying just as the door slammed shut, "Bastard!" **

**When Ron appeared in the open doorway some time later, his face still slightly flushed with anger she simply stared at him. **

"**You didn't have to be so mean to her," she said softly watching him standing there trying to calm his breathing.**

"**She called you - a - a..."**

"**A cripple? Well I am."**

"**Hermione," Ron said taking a step towards her.**

"**Don't," she said stopping him in his tracks, "If it weren't for me..."**

**She trailed off as her throat clenched.**

"**If it weren't for you, Harry and I would probably already be dead, given all the trouble we've gotten ourselves into over the years," he smiled sheepishly at her and she felt her own lips twitching at the memory, "If you weren't there we'd be lost."**

"**So, what?" she said, determined to be difficult, she wasn't feeling all that great after what the girl had said about her, "You're here out of gratitude? Paying me back for all I've done."**

"**Don't be daft," Ron said in an exasperated tone when he saw her anger flare up once more, "I'm doing this because I'm - your friend. And I - we, Harry and I, need you."**

"**Watch who you're calling 'daft'," she retorted, though there wasn't anger in those words, "She was practically throwing herself at you and you didn't even realise it did you."**

"**Was she?" he said in genuine surprise as his eyes widened. **

**She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips then.**

"**Overgrown Troll," she said in between laughs.**

"**Oi!"**

**This only made her laugh harder. After all the words coming from her held no venom, if any they only recalled in both their minds the moment in their first year when he had saved from a troll that had trapped her inside the girls toilets. **

"**Anyway," he said after a moment, "I'm starving, lets eat."**

**"When are you not hungry?"**

* * *

Hermione blinked as the morning light hit her eyes. It took her more than a few moments to recall where she was and what she was doing there. For a second she half expected Ron to be sleeping beside her. That thought brought heat to her cheeks.

She shook the thoughts from her mind and crawled out from under the warm sheets. It had felt like ages since she had slept in a warm bed, although that wasn't entirely true. She had found herself in Ron's bed quite a lot recently. Her cheeks flamed as her own words brought back the most recent memory from Shell Cottage.

She started when the door to the bathroom opened and a figure stepped out, followed by a trail of steam.

Hermione blinked.

Then blinked again.

"H-Helena?" she said in shock.

Helena was drying her long hair, Hermione knew that Helena had long hair, but it was usually coiled up into a tight bun or loose pony tail, she had no idea the difference it would make to see the girls hair as it was now.

Her hair was perfectly straight and in this light it looked the softest shade of caramel brown. Her eyes, the chilling shade of green, so often hidden by her thick glasses were softened by the steam and dim light in the room. Her pale skin made her look almost etherial in her simple dress. At the sight of the old fashioned dress, Hermione's mind flashed to an image of a Jane Austen character from the 18th century.

The dress, was a pale white silk with flecks of green which Hermione realised after a moment were tiny flowers stitched into the soft fabric. The straight lines of the dress accentuated Helena's tall frame.

'_**Merlin, had she really thought this girl looked like a praying mantis?'**_

She realised too late that Helena was narrowing her eyes at her. It took her another second to realise why.

In her shock at seeing Helena enter the room she had called Helena by her first name.

"I-Im sorry..." she paused trying to think how she was supposed to address Helena, "Mistress."

She heard a disgusted sound come from Helena, and cursed her stupid mouth.

"Don't call me that," Helena said before Hermione could spiral into a full panic attack, "Just call me _**Lawson**_."

Hermione looked up from the floor in surprise.

"Lawson?" Then when Helena didn't say anything further Hermione said, "But, I can't call you by -"

"We're not at Hogwarts," Helena cut in though spoken in her usual droll tone Hermione couldn't tell if the girl was angry with her or not, "If I need you I'll call you. Otherwise you can do as you please."

Helena was now sitting at a small vanity table, she quickly grabbed her hair and twisted it into a tight bun before sticking a few bobby pins into it to keep it in place.

"There's food in the kitchens," Helena continued, not caring that a few strands of hair were already falling loose from her bun as she slipped on a pair of slip on shoes, completing Victorian effect of her outfit.

Without another word or look, Helena was out the door and gone.

"What - the - bloody - hell!" was all she was able to say before narrowing her eyes at the door.

_**'Why the hell am I here anyway?' s**he wondered to herself,** 'Oh right, I can't say no to stupid red heads.'**_

* * *

What Hermione did eventually end up doing was finding her way to the kitchens of the large house. Of course, it hadn't occurred to Helena that Hermione didn't know around and if she herself hadn't grown up in a large house she wouldn't have known where to find the food that Helena had told her about.

Hermione was a bit taken a back when she pushed open the heavy door, and found the kitchens. On first glance she had thought it was a storage room, the room was filled with boxes and furniture covered in cloth to protect if from dust. But she had spotted the stove in a corner as well as an oven and a few other kitchen essentials.

She found a cold storage room, which must have been where Helena had gotten the cheese and bread for them to eat last night. But other than a few wheels of cheese and half a loaf of bread there was very little else in the kitchen.

"Am I to live on bread and cheese until we return to Hogwarts?" she wondered to herself looking at the cheese in her hand and the bread on the shelf.

She shrugged her shoulders and walked from the room, the food wrapt up in a napkin since she couldn't locate the plates. Probably packed up in one of the boxes. As she walked around the house she wondered why the house looked the way it does, if she didn't know better she would have thought no one lived here at all. But surely Helena's father lived here, he was a Ministry official. Her brow furrowed at this, in fact, if he was so far up in the Ministry as she had heard, then why on earth was Helena and his wife living in a vacant house, without any servants or elves?

_**'Curiouser and curiouser.'**_

Hermione's thoughts were interrupted when she the next door she pushed open happened to reveal the family library. She pushed against the door and squeezed inside. She saw the boxes behind the door and moved them aside to allow her to open the door fully, if Helena called for her she should be able to hear, or at least she would be easy to find in the vast house if Helena came looking for her.

The room was enormous.

Hermione's eyes lifted upwards and she almost felt tears in her eyes. It appeared as though the Lawson family were all avid readers. From where she stood she could see that the library extended up each of the levels of the house. At least three floors of books. Although the ceiling had the most disturbing painting of wizards and witches battling horrible creatures of varying sizes. She almost gagged on her bread when she saw one wizard holding up a troll head triumphantly while standing on top of its decapitated body.

She quickly looked away and moved towards one of the shelves, it too was dusty and untouched for years just like the rest of the house, but unlike the rest of the house that thought made her smile rather than cringe.

* * *

When Hermione awoke she almost screamed.

Helena was staring down at her. Given the darkness of the room, Hermione assumed that it was already quite late. She had taken a few hours simply browsing the shelves before settling into a large armchair near a window and reading a rather interesting spell book she had found on the upper levels of the library. She must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew Helena was standing beside her. And the lamp Helena now held, made the girl now look like a ghost and not an etherial being as she had thought earlier that day.

Hermione winced as she got up from the seat, her neck aching from the position in which she had been sleeping.

"Sorry," she said as she pushed the book behind her and stood up properly.

"You shouldn't sleep here," was all Helena said in reply before walking towards the door.

Hermione followed her, assuming Helena needed her help with something. They walked up the stairs and Helena turned to walk down a corridor that Hermione had not seen before, which lead into a different wing of the house.

When she saw Hermione follow her, Helena stopped and turned to look at her.

"I've left food in the room," she said in a hoarse voice, "Remember to lock the door."

Helena turned and coughed before continuing down the unfamiliar corridor. She had only taken a few steps before turning round and handing Hermione the lamp.

"But don't you need it?" Hermione questioned her.

"No," Helena replied simply turning round to walk away, but Hermione stopped her by running after her.

"I could come with you and then once you're -"

"My mother," Helena cut Hermione off, taking a moment to swallow and Hermione wondered what was wrong with the girls throat or voice, perhaps she was getting a cold.

"My mother, doesn't like visitors," Helena finished, "I'm the only one she will allow to care for her."

"What's wrong with her," Hermione blurted out before she could stop herself, her mouth making her look like an idiot once more.

Hermione saw Helena's body become visibly rigid.

Helena opened her mouth as though to speak but then promptly closed it again.

She swallowed once more before attempting to speak once more.

"Death Eaters," Helena said in a whisper, then without further explanation walked off into the darkness.

Hermione stared after her.

'_**Why would Death Eaters attack a pure blood?' **_Hermione wondered to herself, she stayed in that spot until she could no longer see Helena before turning and walking back to the room which she shared with Helena.

She pushed open the door to the room and stepped inside. She noticed a tray of food on the vanity table and walked over to it.

'_**Cheese and bread?' **_she wondered before lifting the lid.

She was surprised to find, a full course meal in front of her. Roast beef, potatoes, pumpkin, and other steamed vegetables. She saw a large bottle of butterbeer on the table and even some bread and butter.

Hermione stared at the feast in shock.

'_**Where on earth had this food come from?' **_

When she had gone to the kitchens earlier it was completely bare, and yet here she was...

Hermione's thoughts trailed off when a red head appeared in her head.

'_**Could it be possible? But how?'**_ she pondered before sitting down and beginning her meal, _**"But Helena had said she had left the food in the room for her, then where on earth had the food come from?"**_

Hermione choked on a piece of potato when the flames in the fireplace turned a startling green and a person jumped out and landed on the floor at her feet.

The person, a man from the sound of his voice, groaned before getting up and dusting himself off.

"Lena!" he said stepping towards her, "How dare you just - "

The angry boy in front of her faltered when he realised that she wasn't who he was looking for.

Hermione waved her hand awkwardly at Ernie.

"Hi," she said standing up and backing away from him.

If she was honest, that glare that he had on his face, made him look so fierce that she was afraid he was going to hit her. When he realised who was standing in front of him, he looked instantly confused and strangely panicked.

"Where the hell is she?" he said instantly but he didn't wait for her response because he bolted from the room in such a state of panic that you would have thought her life were in danger.

"What's wrong?" Hermione said as she tried to catch up with him, "Has something happened at school?"

"No," he said quickly looking back at her, "Lumos!"

He cast a spell and the way in front of them became clearer. She only had a chance to briefly notice the moving portraits glaring down at them, every now and then shouting obscenities at her, since Ernie was moving so quickly that she struggled to keep up with him.

"Then why are you so worried?" she questioned him, gasping for breaths as she ran after him.

"Her father," he said before turning and disappearing down a hallway.

Hermione could only follow the dimming light of his wand. Before it disappeared completely and she saw him opening a door at the end of the corridor.

"Lena!"

She heard his voice shout in that scolding tone she had heard just moments before. She reached the room to see Helena knelling on the floor beside a very large bed. It was an extremely ornate bed, dark mahogany wood and four large posts that had thick green draperies around it. And laying on the bed was a thin, pale woman who as she watched Ernie step into the room was slowly opening her eyes to turn to look at him.

"Milly," she heard Helena say in reply as though he hadn't just thrown open the door and was now glaring at her viciously, "When did you arrive?"

Hermione balked. What kind of reaction was that? Just moments before Ernie had been racing down the halls in a complete panic and here she was acting completely calm in front of him, especially when Hermione had practically withered under his uncharacteristic glare. At least she thought it was uncharacteristic of him to act that way, he was always so friendly, never getting angry at anyone not even that girlfriend of his. Now there was an even greater puzzle, why on earth would someone like him be with her, a girl who seemed so incredibly shellfish and shallow? She had heard from Ginny that the girl, 'Andrea', treated her servant horribly, and what's worse they had been friends for a year before Minister Malfoy came into power. The fact that she now treated her friend so despicably made Hermione instantly dislike the girl.

Ernie ignored Helena's question and quickly rushed over to knell beside her, he grabbed her by the arms and turned her so that he could look at her fully. After a few moments of inspection he sighed and sat back on the floor. Ernie dragged a weary hand through his hair before looking over at the bed.

"Hello Ernie," the woman on the bed smiled at him, pulling her thin shaking hand over to touch his head and patting it, "How is your mother?"

The woman's voice was so soft, and barely audible, but from what she heard, Hermione could see where Helena had gotten her strange manner of speaking from, her mother spoke the same way, clearly Helena had just picked up from the way her mother had spoken.

"Fine," Ernie replied in a much calmer tone, though he still was glaring daggers at Helena every now and then, "She plans to visit you soon."

The woman laughed but it didn't last long. She began to cough and Helena was instantly off the floor and sitting on the bed, a glass of water and wet cloth in her hands.

"Mama," Helena said in the same soft and - Merlin, Hermione only just realised that Helena's voice held no emotion because that would be what would be the most soothing for her mothers ears. She had not missed the pained look on the woman's face while Ernie had been talking. Ernie, so used to being around people would of course put natural intonations in his words.

"Now, don't fuss darling," her mother replied taking a sip of water before laying back down.

She turned to Ernie once more.

"Thank you for always taking care of her," Helena's mother said with a small smile before turning and closing her eyes, before adding, "I'd like to rest now."

In understanding, Helena returned the glass and cloth to the bowl of water on the table before standing up and walking over to the corner of the room. Hermione watched her move past the fireplace before seating herself at the large grand piano which Hermione hadn't even noticed in the room.

Helena took a deep breath before she began playing. Ernie stood up and walked over to Helena expectantly.

Without even opening her eyes Helena's mother spoke.

"You know she won't sing in front of you dear boy, so perhaps you could leave us for a short time, at least till I fall to sleep."

"I'm sorry," he said watching Helena playing the piano, he waited until he caught Helena's eye, some unspoken conversation passing between them before they both turned away.

Ernie walked towards her before pushing her out the door with him.

"Come on," he said leading her back the way they came, although he was walking much slower now, whether to catch Helena singing or because he had his thoughts elsewhere Hermione wasn't sure and for once she wouldn't just blurt out whatever she was thinking, she'd had enough of making an arse of herself for one day.

Instead she said.

"Why did you come here?"

Ernie scoffed at this question.

"Because my - " he cleared his throat before correcting himself, "Because Lena didn't feel the need to inform me before she disappeared from the school. Merlin that girl can frustrate me to no end."

Hermione's eyes widened in shock.

"But you get along with her so well, better than anyone else I've seen."

Ernie laughed then and turned to look at her as though she had just said the stupidest thing in the world.

"Are you kidding?" he said a smile on his face that made her eyes widen, because if it weren't for a certain red head haven already taken residence in her head, she was pretty sure she would have lost it when Ernie turned his charming smile on her.

"I'm the _**only**_ one who seems to be able to get her angry. Trust me," he added when they continued walking, "We would have ripped each other to pieces years ago if it weren't for the fact that our mothers are such close friends."

"I see," Hermione said thoughtfully, but this got a suspicious look from Ernie.

"Don't go digging around here," he said in a warning tone, his eyes narrowed but then the next instant his expression became friendly once more and he continued walking.

"I'd better be off anyway, didn't exactly inform anyone before I floo'ed here," he said once they reached Helena's room before digging in his pockets and taking out a pouch of what she could only assume was filled with floo powder. He threw some of it into the fireplace and turned the familiar shade of green.

"Don't you want to wait to talk to Helena?"

He arched an eyebrow at her when she called Helena by her first name.

"Don't call her that," he said turning to the fire for a moment before answering her question, "She won't have time today to talk to me, and believe me I have a lot to talk to her about. Tell her I'll come back later in the week, so she better not do anything stupid in the meantime."

Before Hermione could even question him about that statement he had stepped into the fire and was swirling away into nothingness.

"Merlin, as if I don't have enough on my plate as it is," she huffed before sitting down to finish what was now a very cold dinner.

* * *

**A/N: Please read and review :D**

**What to expect next chapter:**

**- More interaction between Ernie and Helena**

**- discovering more about Helena's past and how it triggers Hermione's memories**

**- apologies, I listed that we would finally see Hermione go to one of Ron's classes but there was too much to fit in to this chapter, and it seems that Helena and Hermione need to stay longer away from Hogwarts longer than expected**

**Response to Comments/Reviews:**

**ObsessedRHShipper**: I hope I answered one of your questions. Again Hermione has just jumped to conclusions where Ron was concerned and they were obviously wrong.

**BittyBlueEyes: **Thanks! This chapter was quite long also, I wanted to add much more but I'm quite exhausted after this part so I hope you forgive me and give me a little reprieve. And I agree Ron and Hermione are due for a long conversation but I don't know when that will happen, well I do but I'm not telling :p

**pearls-and-crystal-blues:** Thanks! I really wanted to avoid painting Ron as a perfect character, Merlin I hope that's not what's happening :/

Oh Hermione and her jealously, you've seen more of it here and I have a feeling it won't be the last time ;)

**lol86:** Sorry for the long lapse between updates, have been busy. I hope you've enjoyed this one and well he is Dumbledore isn't he.

**Eckles/Wayne:** I think I already replied to your comments but I'll reiterate them here :)

I do feel Ron has been trying to deal with the guilt over what happened to Hermione and I think his situation is very similar to Harry's emotional state after the events of GOF or OoTP. I won't even pretend to be able to write on the same scale, actually not even in the same universe that the Great Jo has been able to achieve, but I will say that that is where I see Ron. He feels immense guilt, and I know that a lot of people will assume, as Hermione has here, that he has taken to simply hurting himself as a punishment of sorts, but its much much more complicated than that. I'm quite exhausted just thinking about his situation, and I desperately want to bring the old Ron back, but we're still far away from that goal. Until then I hope you continue to read and share your fabulous comments and/or advice.

**connieewing:** Thanks!

**ErinFabu: **Oh Lance, he's just in the back of everyone's minds at the moment, just where I want him to be at the moment

**RozyPozy23:** Wow! 3hours? I'm glad I've kept you entertained, its all I really want and its nice to hear that I'm achieving my goals. Don't worry about the confusion, if you've been reading the reviews (as I have) everyone's been confused but most of the confusion has been explained away by now. If there's something in particular you don't understand maybe you could ask me, I'd be more than happy to explain, if I can and it doesn't reveal future plot points. Thanks for the review!

**bookworm8721: **Thanks! I suppose you're right, this story can be quite dark but thats just another way for me to challenge myself. I hope none of the characters come across as one dimensional, at least by the end of the story. Its exhausting and frustrating thinking about each them in turn even the minor characters. I'm glad you're enjoying the story :)


	17. So Goodnight, Goodnight

**Chapter 16: So, Goodnight, Goodnight...**

**(or, When I was younger...)  
**

Hermione awoke early the following morning determined to be of some use to Helena today. Whether either one of them liked it she was here and she was going to be useful. She had enough memories of what had happened last year to know that she didn't like to be laying on back or sitting around doing nothing.

As she dressed that morning the sky outside was still dark, and for a moment she just stood watching the sky changing colour. Something about this felt very familiar.

'**Today,' Hermione told herself. **

'**Today is the last day we will be together.' **

Hermione blinked as a cold shiver ran up her spine.

She needed to stop thinking about Ron and all their drama. She wanted things to just be simple for once.

'Let's just get through one day without drama,' she promised herself.

She turned around and stretched looking around the room once more. Her eyes caught some pictures on the wall. She walked over and peered at them. One in particular caught her eye.

An eleven year old Helena and Ernie were sitting on opposite ends of a sofa. They were dressed in very formal clothes and both looked unhappy about it. Staring determinedly away from each other with folded arms. She saw Ernie's mouth purse before he rolled his eyes. She could only presume that someone out of the picture had something to him because the next moment he faked a smile before turning away from Helena again.

Helena simply leaned back in a very unladylike fashion on the sofa, her arms folded as though they had been sitting there for quite some time and the novelty had long since worn thin. At first she just stared out at something from view but when Ernie smiled at the camera she glanced at him and her eyes crinkled in the corners, as though she were hiding a secret smile.

She couldn't help but laugh.

'She does have emotions after all.'

***POP***

Hermione screamed in fright and jumped backwards as the elf appeared at her feet.

"Morning Missis," the little elf said warmly smiling, "Breakfast is ready it is."

"Huh?" Hermione managed when she closed her gaping mouth.

The little elf was wearing a little pink apron, with tiny pockets, both of which were lumpy as though filled with coal. The elf was holding a tray of food in one hand and bowing slightly at Hermione.

Hermione cocked her head slightly though when she saw the poor little elf, a bow tied to one ear that it was limping towards the vanity table where she placed the breakfast tray on the table.

"Who are you?" Hermione questioned curiously.

"Minnie, the house elf missis," the elf replied as a matter of course.

"Whose - I mean...,' she faltered before trying once more, "where are you from?"

The elf seemed to mimic her expression because she too cocked her head to one side and replied,

"Minnie is the Lawson family house elf, missis."

Hermione stared at the house elf in complete confusion.

"This is the first time I've even seen you," Hermione said.

The house elf nodded in understanding.

"Minnie very busy, has to work here, work there - so many things to do - busy, busy, busy everyday."

"Uh..."

"Take care of mudblood, take care of Lawson family, mother, father, brother, sister - everyone! Minnie very busy missis. Please eat missis, Minnie must get back."

***POP***

Hermione stared open-mouthed at the space that the elf had just been standing in.

"Brother?" Hermione wondered aloud, "what brother?"

She sat down a the vanity and stared at the food in front of her.

"That explains the food at least," she said to herself.

'But if they have a house elf then why on earth do they need me around?'

'Weird,' Hermione concluded unsatisfactorily before beginning her breakfast.

'Busy', Hermione pondered, if the elf was so busy then the next time she saw the elf she would ask her if she could use Hermione's help with anything. If not, then she could try to learn more about the Lawson's family situation, for instance where was Mr Lawson. She had been here for almost two weeks and she had not seen him at all.

"I won't be useless," Hermione said in determination once more taking the final bite of her bread as she stood up from the table. If she couldn't help Helena then she would help Ro - the D.A. by finding out about the Lawsons.

She turned around and walked over to her suitcase. It was pushed against one of the walls and she walked over to it to find something to tie her hair. If she was going to get to work cleaning this house then she was going to need to get this hair out of the way. Her fingers stilled when it touched the blue ribbon Ron had given her. She lifted it up gently from her clothes and held it for a moment. Before her thoughts could wander too far and put a downer on her determination she quickly pushed her hair back and used the ribbon to tie her hair back and out of the way. She was just about to close the suitcase when something caught her eye. She lifted some of her clothes out of the way to reveal something hidden at the bottom of the suitcase. A small note. She lifted the parchment and unfolded it.

It was from Harry.

**_Hermione,_**

**_If possible try to stay with Helena as long as possible. Despite what Ron says I'm certain she's spying on us. The longer she stays away from Hogwarts the more time we have to form a plan to stop her._**

**_Harry._**

**_PS. Burn this once you've read it._**

Hermione read the letter several times. What an odd thing for Harry to say. Of course she knew of his suspicious relating to Helena. Besides Ron had already told her to see what she could find out while she was here so his note seemed pointless.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders and walked over to the fire. She was just about to drop the letter into the flames when she noted a few smudged sentences at the bottom of the page, barely legible.

**_No one's told you because they thought you'd just worry or it would make you confused, something about you needing to remember on your own. _**

**_I think you have the right to know. We're going to do the best we can but Hermione you have to know, you have to remember, the '__other'__ is back. _**

**_G _**

'Other' Hermione wondered.

"Vold -"

"Don't say his name," a hoarse voice said from behind her.

Hermione shrieked and quickly hid the letter behind her back.

Helena was standing in the doorway, looking tired and disheveled. She was leaning against the door from as though it was holding her upright.

Slowly Helena's red eyes, puffy and dark from lack of sleep moved away from Hermione to the bed.

Helena took a moment as though gathering her energy before stepping towards the bed.

"Watch out!"

Hermione jumped forwards instantly. She caught Helena just before she hit the floor. She saw the girl wince when Hermione touched her.

"...bed..." the frail girl whispered her head falling forwards as though she didn't even have strength to hold it upright.

Hermione pulled the girl up and placed one of her feather light arms over her shoulder before pulling her towards the bed.

Helena sank into the soft bed as soon as she touched it. The moment her head hit the pillow Hermione heard her soft snores.

She watched the girl for a moment before stepping back.

Hermione stopped suddenly and moved back towards the light, towards the bed.

There was as strange scar on Helena's neck. It didn't look deep but it looked recent. From her earlobe to her collarbone. It was a jagged line, very thin but looked quite deep. Hermione stared at it in confusion.

'Did she fall or something?'

Hermione moved towards the bathroom and was just about to get some water to clean the wound when she heard a sound.

She stepped out of the bathroom to see the elf. Minnie was pulling the blanket over Helena's sleeping form. Hermione then noticed the breakfast dishes dissapear before the elf prepared to disaprate.

"Wai-" Hermione grabbed the elf's hand to stop the elf dissapearing but it was too late.

***POP***

* * *

"_**We are not having this conversation again, Ernie," his mother said in exasperation as she moved around the kitchen, rearranging flowers and food as she went. **_

"_**But she's so weird," Ernie continued, stretching out his words so that his mother would understand his frustration.**_

"_**Ernest George **__**MacMillan**__****__!_" his mother stopped her last minute preparations for the party and turned around to look down at him sternly.

_**Ernie cringed at his mothers use of his full name. He hated his name. What respectable wizard would be called 'Ernest'? Ernest was the name of the guy who followed others around, got picked and bullied on. Ernie didn't want any of his friends to know his name, let alone call him 'Ernest'.**_

"_**In a few years time you will be going to Hogwarts, and this is not the kind of behaviour we expect of a **__**MacMillan**__**."**_

_**Ernie folded his arms across his chest. He had only just turned eight but eversince he was toddler his parents have been drilling into him the importance of manners and 'gentlemanly behaviour'. He and Helena had been expected from the moment they were born and introduced to one another to become instant friends. Honestly, he had tried, but it was so difficult. He didn't think he heard more than two words from her in a row ever since they had known each other. His mother had said that Helena was shy and just needed to get to know him before opening up to him.**_

_**Ernie didn't see the point. **_

_**Why in Merlin's name did he have to be the only one to put in an effort? Clearly she could care less. Always walking around, her mouth shut and her bulging big eyes staring at him wherever he went. It was weird. Plain and simple, she was just weird.**_

_**His mother's scolding words brought him back from his thoughts.**_

"_**How dare you call the only child of your parents childhood friends 'weird'," his mother, hands on hips narrowed her eyes at him, "You should be ashamed of yourself. "**_

"_**Yes mother," he replied in resignation. **_

_**Her mother, seeming satisfied with the look of guilt on his downcast face turned and continued in her flurry of movements. **_

_**Ernie trailed after her.**_

"_**But all she does is sit and stare at people," he began again, Ernie was after all persistent, "I was more concerned of what your guests would think than -"**_

"_**You let me worry about what the guests think," his mother cut him off, "Now hurry up and go change."**_

_**Ernie watched his mother step outside into the garden, her blond locks flowing behind her as she almost skipped down the lawn in her yellow summer dress and slippers.**_

_**She had been planning this summer party for weeks, months even, to the misery of his father. He had caught his father on more than one occasion hiding in the attic, where he hoarded his collection of cheeses. His mother disapproved of his father's obsession with cheeses and she had a point. Ernie's father seemed inclined to collect and consume only the smelliest and oddest coloured cheeses from around the world. Ernie for the most part didn't mind. His mother loved planning and attending parties so he did his best not to complain whenever she forced him into some hideous outfit that she insisted was 'adorable'.**_

_**The attic, when it was not used as a cheese treasure chest or hid out for his father, was his play room. Helena was often there, not that she played with the toys, she just sat on the floor watching him play with his train set. He avoided the room whenever she came to visit them, which was every summer holiday ever since he can remember. Ernie made a face as he turned and sidestepped the servants, arms filled with decorations and finger-food. He made his way across the living area and back into the entrance hall of the house. The guests would be arriving in an hour or two, a few had already started pulling up to the house he noticed as he passed by the windows in the entrance hall. **_

"_**Ernest have you changed yet?" he heard his mother's voice echo through the house. **_

_**He always amazed at her ability to project her voice like that, without the use of magic of anything. **_

_**He sighed and rolled his eyes before turning to walk upstairs.**_

_**He started when he saw who was staring down at him from the top of the stairs.**_

_**Helena. She blinked at him blankly and he frowned at her before making his way up the stairs.**_

_**He shoved past her and made his way to his room, glancing over his shoulder to notice that she was watching him with the same expressionless face. He shivered.**_

"_**So weird," he said to himself.

* * *

**_

"_**Ernie!" **_

"_**Over here mate!"**_

_**Ernie waved at some of his friends, most of whom he met at his mothers parties. They had gathered in the corner of the garden under the large apple tree, and away from the adults. The party was in full swing by now and his mother was flittering around like a bee, his father trailing after her smiling. **_

_**His father complained to him all the time about the things his mother forced on them, like these parties and charity balls, but when the time came, there he was, beside her side, smiling happily. **_

_**He wondered briefly if it was an all an act, if his dad enjoyed this as much as his mother did but just didn't want to admit it.**_

_**A ball of light hit him in the head.**_

"_**What -?"**_

_**Ernie turned to see his friends laughing at him.**_

"_**Cool isn't it," Chris said to him pointing at the object Ernie now held in his hands. It looked like a snitch, it glowed warmly in his hands, he released it and it flew up into the air.**_

"_**Its a miniature Quiddich set," Andrea said jumping up off the swing set and bounding towards him.**_

_**Andrea was a dark haired girl who Christopher had introduced as his cousin or some family relation, Ernie wasn't really paying attention, he was too busy looking over his shoulder making sure Helena wasn't following him around the party. Luckily, she seemed to note the large crowd arriving and decided to hide out in the house. Andrea however, seemed nice enough, nothing like Helena at least. She had a constant smile and seemed to bounce around from one group of adults to another. She talked a million miles a minute and kept twirling around in her dress when she wasn't talking to someone.**_

_**He and his friends began playing with the Quiddich set until they all started to get a bit hungry. Collecting a few of the snacks and finger-food from the tables they settled down on the lawn. **_

_**After a moments silence, Zacharis Smith, a boy he had just met that day pointed up at the attic window.**_

"_**You have ghosts **__**MacMillan**__**?" **_

_**A few of the girls shrieked at the comment.**_

_**Ernie turned and looked at where Zach was pointing. **_

"_**Something like that," Ernie replied turning away from Helena. **_

'_**Why did she have to do that? Just stand at windows staring at people? It was so - weird.'**_

"_**Lets go catch it," another boy said excitedly.**_

"_**Don't be stupid," Andrea said, "You can't catch ghosts."**_

_**Andrea looked to him for confirmation but he just shrugged his shoulders.**_

"_**Well you chickens stay here, I'm going to catch it," Chris said definitely jumping up form his seat a few of the kids following after him.**_

_**Before he could stop them they were already racing towards the house.**_

_**Ernie looked up to the attic but Helena was no longer standing there. **_

'_**She's probably gone now anyway,' he thought to himself before turning back to his food.**_

_**He noticed after a moment that Andrea and a few of the girls were also gone. **_

_**He didn't know why but that thought concerned him. He looked back at the house and wondered what they were doing. Surely they would have gotten bored looking for Helena and were now just goofing around the house.**_

_**He felt a strange stiffness in his body as he slowly stood up from the lawn.**_

_**He looked from window to window in the dimming light of the sunset trying to find Helena's face. **_

_**Ernie felt his heart thump against his chest. The blood in his ears felt like a drum beat echoing in his ears.**_

_**Helena was weird, yes. He had to suffer summer after summer of her coming to stay with his family. In fact, now that he thought about it, there wasn't a time in his life that he didn't ever know Helena. Their parents were very close and that of course meant that since they were small they were constantly thrown together. Always expected to play together, to become great friends. It wouldn't be so hard if she weren't so weird all the time.**_

"_**Weird," he said to himself completely unaware of when he had started running towards the house. He thought he heard his mother's voice call after him but he couldn't be sure. His feet were moving of their own accord.**_

'_**Annoying.'**_

'_**Follows me around...'**_

_**He was running up the stairs now, he heard movement and voices coming from the attic.**_

'_**Staring at me...'**_

_**He rounded the corner of the second floor and opened the door that led to the attic. He was almost run over by the kids running down the stairs. **_

_**They were all chanting, 'Kill the ghost!', which was wrong on so many levels.  
**_

_**He noticed that they were dragging Helena along with them. Her eyes caught his as they raced her past him.**_

_**Andrea was the last down the stairs, he grabbed her arm before she could run away.**_

"_**What are you doing?"**_

"_**Just playing," Andrea said innocently before pulling her arm free and running after the other kids.  
**_

_**Ernie stood frozen for a moment, totally shocked. Then his body finally caught up with him and he was running after the rest of the kids.**_

_**He found them dragging Helena out of the East wing of the house, in the complete opposite direction of where the adults were. He caught up to them just as they reached the large fountain in the middle of the garden. He pushed his way through them and reached the front just as two of the boys holding Helena's arms pushed her into the fountain. **_

"_**See!" Chris said pointing at Helena at the other children's laughter, "She's not a ghost, she's just dumb and mute."**_

_**Ernie pushed Christopher to the ground.**_

"_**You, shut up!"**_

"_**We're just playing around," Andrea said walking over towards Christopher who was glaring up at Ernie.**_

_**Ernie ignored them and turned to look at Helena. **_

_**The water in the fountain wasn't that deep but still reached Helena's shoulders as she sat in the water, but instead of trying to get up out of the water she just sat in the water watching him. Her blond hair was a tangled mess of scraps of food, it stuck to her face and floated around her like a strange aura of sadness. sticking to the front of her face, her eyes looking back at him, her normally vibrant blue eyes seemed somewhat dulled in the moonlight, or was that sadness in her eyes? He dared not think that it was fear. He felt a twinge in his gut at the sight of her. **_

_**Her pale skin seem translucent in the dimming light, the dark shadows of her eyes heightened her ghostly appearance. She did look like a ghost but didn't excuse what the kids did to her. He noticed as he stepped closer to the fountain that she had scraps of food was smeared on her clothes and face, so they had thrown food at her before deciding to dump her into the fountain.**_

_**He felt his fists clench as his chest tightened.**_

"_**Leave her alone alright," he said to the children around them, "She's just - just..."**_

_**He had been saying all day how weird she was to his parents but as he turned to look back at Helena he couldn't think of anything to say other than -**_

"_**She's my friend."**_

"_**We were just playing around," Zach finally broke the silence that had descended upon Ernie words. Zach stepped up and stood behind Christopher as a show of support for the boy.  
**_

_**Ernie shoke his head and looked back at Helena. As their eyes locked he himself felt something click inside of him. If he was honest with himself, he had never really tried to get to know her at all. He expected her to be the same as all the other kids, the same as him. If his parents had taught him anything, it was the importance of accepting those different from yourself.**_

"_**Just - go..."Ernie said finally.**_

_**The kids grumbled but all slowly turned and walked back to the house.**_

_**He saw Andrea and Zach help Christopher up from the ground. Zach glared at him before they too headed back towards the party.**_

"_**Helena..." he stepped towards the fountain, "Aren't you cold?"**_

_**He reached out his arm for her to grab onto. She stared at it for a moment before looking back up at him. When she still didn't respond he tried calling her by the name he had called her when they were even younger than now. The name he had given her when his mouth couldn't get around her strange name. At least, he had thought it strange at the time. **_

"_**Lena?" he called this time.**_

"_**Yes, I am cold," she replied.**_

_**She grabbed onto his hand and stood up from the water.**_

"_**You didn't have to shout at them," she continued in her usual soft tone as she stepped out of the fountain, "We were just playing."**_

_**Ernie tried not to gape at her, after all this was the most she had ever spoken to him, or anyone.**_

"_**You were playing?" he repeated in disbelief.**_

"_**Food fight," she replied.**_

_**He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the image of all those kids cornering her and throwing food and grabbing at her clothes before dumping her in the fountain, they had clearly been bullying her and yet she had thought they were playing with her?**_

"_**I - I don't think that was what was hap-"**_

"_**I've only heard about 'food fights'," she continued, "it's messier than I thought."**_

_**She turned to look at him. Ernie's eyes almost popped out of his head.**_

_**She smiled at him.**_

"_**It was fun," she spoke cutting through his shock at seeing her smile, "But they seemed upset when I started throwing things back at them."**_

"_**What did you throw at them?"**_

"_**Cheese."**_

_**Ernie burst out laughing.**_

_**Helena stared at him.**_

"_**Will your dad be upset?"**_

_**Ernie just continued laughing.**_

_**After watching him for a while she smiled.**_

"_**I like you."**_

_**Ernie froze and turned to look at her.**_

"_**Huh?" he said backing away now.**_

"_**Your expressions," she explained, "I like watching you."**_

_**He gaped at her.**_

"_**You're different to the people in my family."**_

_**Ernie remembered that her mother was often in St Mungo's and her father was always away on business. She must live in that house completely alone, with only her sickly mother to keep her company. **_

'_**So that's why she always comes over during holidays, she doesn't have anyone...' His thoughts trailed off as they walked back to the house.**_

_**He noticed her shivering slightly and quickly gave her his robe. **_

"_**The water was cold," she said looking at him, her lips now clearly turning blue, and her teeth chattering, "I don't feel very well."**_

_**Ernie and Helena jumped when both his parents appeared in front of them.**_

"_**Ernest George**__**MacMillan**__**!" **_

'_**Twice in one day,' he thought to himself, 'new record mum.'**_

"_**What happened?"**_

_**Ernie's mother reached for Helena and looked her over.**_

_**He struggled to come up with a lie when Helena spoke.**_

"_**We were playing."**_

_**Both of his parents froze and stared at Helena.**_

"_**Helena dear," his mother knelt down beside her and brushed the hair out of her eyes, she looked like she wanted to say something like 'you can talk' but instead she said, "let's get you out of these wet clothes."**_

"_**You too mister," she said over her shoulder as she led Helena inside the house.

* * *

**_

_**Ernie stood in the middle of the study, his parents both staring at him waiting for him to crack.**_

_**Finally his father spoke,**_

"_**My cheese -"**_

_**His mother cut him off.**_

"_**What happened to Helena?"**_

_**Ernie shuffled uncomfortably and stared at the rug.**_

"_**The other kids fault..." he mumbled. **_

"_**What was that?" his father questioned him.**_

"_**It's not my fault, I didn't do anything to her. It was the other kids."**_

_**He glanced a look at his mother, she was looking at him sadly.**_

"_**I know you don't like Helena."**_

'_**She's not that bad,' he wanted to say but didn't dare interrupt his mother.**_

"_**She's just a little different..." his mother trailed off and he heard her sigh.**_

"_**I just don't know what to do here, Finn you explain to him would you."**_

_**He turned to look at his dad.**_

"_**Son, I know its not easy, having a girl follow you around, especially as one as shy and quiet as Helena. But she doesn't have anyone else. Her mother is very ill at the moment, and her father..."**_

"_**We're all she has," his mother continued when his father trailed off, "Please, Ernie, please just try to get along with her."**_

_**Ernie simply nodded his head.**_

"_**Alright off to bed with you," his father sad ruffling his hair.**_

_**Ernie closed the study door behind him and turned to see Helena sitting on the stairs watching him.**_

'_**Had she heard everything that was said?'**_

_**He cocked his head to one side to watch her. She had a strange expression on her face. **_

"_**What's wrong?" he asked her.**_

_**She slowly stood up and walked down the stairs towards him. **_

"_**Hungry."**_

_**He started to laugh but placed a hand over his mouth so that his parents wouldn't hear him.**_

"_**Not enough cake in your hair to eat?" he questioned as they walked to the kitchen.**_

"_**You mother washed it all out. There was none left to eat."**_

_**Ernie burst out laughing, not even bothering to cover up the sound.

* * *

**_

Hermione stared across the kitchen table at Ernie. She had been shocked to discover that the little elf, Minnie, had transported her to an unknown location. She had began to panic until she saw Ernie enter the room, looking just as shocked as she was. His parents were still asleep and he had been waiting around for Minnie to come back. After explaining that she was in his house, he invited her to wait with him until Minnie went back to the Lawson's home. The elf was busy but Ernie mentioend that she could only make a certain number of trips a day. She wanted to ask more about the strange behaviour of a house elf who didn't stay with the family.

When she started questioning Ernie about Helena, and her strange behaviour of late he had begun to tell her the story of when they were eight years old.

"Why did you tell me that story?" Hermione questioned him, staring at him from across her cup of tea.

"I know Harry suspects her of spying on the Gryffindors, but I can tell you that that is not the case," he drank some of his orange juice before continuing, "She can be frustrating sometimes, she doesn't understand how to behave around people and that has caused embarrassing situations in the past. This one time she repeated everything I had said to her about this woman, who, lets just say was very popular among men. And when the time came for us to be introduced to he, Helena asked the woman to her face, how was it that she had so many male friends."

He smiled at the memory. His parents were always thrilled when Helena spoke, let alone to strangers that she got away with saying things he never would have even thought of.

"But," he continued earnestly, "I can assure you that there is no way that she would be working with the Slytherins."

"Why did she agree to be engaged to Ron then?"

"Her father asked her to do it," Ernie looked down at the cup in his hands, "She didn't want to but I talked her around."

"Why would you do that?" Hermione questioned him.

"She had to get out of that place, the Slytherin's they were bullying her. I'm certain she wouldn't have lasted much longer in that house," A dark shadow passed across Ernie's face as he spoke, "And besides she and Ron are friends."

"What?" Hermione said in shock, "Since when?"

Ernie furrowed his brow and looked at her in confusion.

"She does volunteer work at St Mungo's, and she met Ron there."

"When?" Hermione questioned, did they become friends while she was at St Mungos? But Ron said that they had moved her almost instantly to Shell Cottage.

"Last summer, before school started," Ernie was looking at her as though she should have known all of this already.

"Didn't they met at the Ministry? Ron was doing an internship with his father."

"That was after," Ernie explained, "No, they met while Ron was in St Mungo's."

Hermione blinked at him blankly. Ernie narrowed his eyes at her before speaking once more.

"She met Ron while he was **_in _**St Mungo's...as a patient."

* * *

**Author's notes (A/N):**

**I've finished! Excuse me while I take a moment to revel in the fact that I finally finished this blasted chapter. *Screams in triumph***

**I hope that Ernie's memory sequence wasn't too confusing for you all. That's the main problem I had with this chapter, and the main difficulty writing this story, that everything is from Hermione's POV and thus we can only know what she knows. It was very important for me for you guys to see more of Ernie/Helena's relationship but it was doing my head in trying to figure out a way to do it. I hope it succeeded.**

**This chapter should have been up yesterday but stupid fanfiction-net has been screwing with my head and not saving any editing work I'd done on the chapter  
**


	18. I hope things turn out alright

**A/N: Its 3am, I'm tired, this thing was edited last month. Forgive the mistakes, I will correct them tomorrow but for now just enjoy this chapter.**

**:)**

* * *

**Chapter 17 I hope things turn out alright**

Hermione couldn't quite process what she had just thought she heard.

After a moments silence in which both she and Ernie stared at each other she swallowed the large lump in her throat and said,

"What?"

She needed to hear those words once more. That it was not just her mind, her already mess of a brain confusing her.

Ernie seemed to understand that she was having difficulty processing this information.

"You didn't know," he realised watching her carefully as she leaned back in the chair with eyes slightly glazed over, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been the one to tell you -"

"No," Hermione quickly cut him off, "Everyone's always walking around on eggshells with me, its - well its not good," she admitted before continuing biting her lip slightly, "But I needed to hear it, to know that..."

"Why was he in the hospital?" she questioned Ernie, taking a shaky sip of her tea in the process.

"I don't know much," Ernie prefaced before he spoke, she could see he was wary of saying too much now, "The only information I know is what I've heard from Lena, and this was the one subject on which she refused to open up to me about."

He frowned and she saw a dark shadow cross over his face as he paused in his explanation, he too appeared to have several matters to think about.

"Well what did she tell you?" Hermione urged, wanting to get him out of his deep thoughts.

He didn't answer for a while and she thought he hadn't heard her but then he said,

"Weasley was unresponsive to stimuli," Ernie said making quotations marks with his fingers as though to emphasise that he was quoting Helena. He sighed before running a hand through his hair, pointless since it just fell back to the same position as before.

"She visits the patients at St Mungo's, usually reads or just sits with them," Ernie continued, "She met Ron during summer break."

"What was wrong with him?" Hermione questioned slightly confused with his story.

Ernie shrugged, "For that you'd have to ask Lena herself."

"But she doesn't talk," Hermione said in frustration, she hated - absolutely hated this feeling of helplessness.

She saw a smirk crease the corners of Ernie's mouth.

"She does," he said slowly, "She just has difficulty communicating with people that's all."

"Not with you though," Hermione countered.

"Well," he responded rubbing his neck, "We've known each other pretty much since birth, I've learnt to read her expressions."

"That's how you knew about the bullying?" Hermione remembered him running past her after Helena had been cornered and bullied by those Slytherin girls.

"She doesn't see it as bullying though. As frustrating as it is for me to explain to her...she just doesn't understand how people are...how cruel they can be," Ernie fists were clenched on the table and a look of anger crossed his face, "She's like a child that way."

Hermione wasn't sure if he was angry at the bullies or at Helena for being so naive.

"But you love her anyway," Hermione said comfortingly.

Ernie started at her words.

"W-what?"

Hermione stared at him in surprise. He was looking at her in complete and utter bewilderment.

"I mean...don't you?" she questioned him, "I just assumed..."

She trailed off when Ernie leaned his head back in the chair and covered his eyes with his hand. She thought she saw his lips move but she couldn't hear what he was saying, if he spoke at all.

After a moment to compose himself his hand dropped to his side once more and he looked at her.

"That's not how - its more complicated than that," Ernie tried to explain to her but he ended up just turning away from her, "Besides, she doesn't feel that way towards me, she sees me as a brother."

At his words Hermione recalled Minnie the house elves words.

"Are you - "

Ernie looked back at her words but the next moment Minnie appeared beside them.

"You'd two better get going," Ernie said quickly standing up from his seat, "I should get back too before anyone notices I'm missing."

"Yes," Hermione said curiously, "How is it that you are here? Aren't classes still running."

Ernie looked at her as though she had just asked the strangest question, before he adjusted his expression.

"Oh right you don't remember," He said as he walked over to the fireplace and took some floo powder from a silver bowl beside him, "I'm a pureblood, I can do whatever I want."

He threw the powder into the fireplace and the flames turned a vibrant shade of green. He looked over his shoulder at her.

"Just keep talking to her and eventually she'll talk back, it just takes her a while to get to used to being around people," with those words he stepped into the fire and the next moment he was gone.

"Well," Hermione turned to the elf beside her, "Shall we get back?"

Hermione and Minnie apparated inside Helena's room once more. She found the witch still asleep on the bed apparently unaware that Hermione had disappeared at all. Minnie walked over and touched the sleeping face of her young Mistress.

The next moment the little elf dissapeared with another pop.

Hermione stared at Helena's sleeping form for a moment before walking to the bathroom. She turned on the old fashioned silver taps and splashed some water onto her face.

Ron had been at St Mungo's?

She needed to talk to him, but how?

A smashing noise from below her shock her from her thoughts.

She stepped out of the bathroom and saw Helena turn in her bed but she slept on. Hermione curious as to what has caused the noise walked out of the room and went downstairs to check.

She had just reached the grandstaircase leading to the main entrance hall of the house when a hand clamped over her mouth and grabbed her hands with a fierce grip.

Panicking she tried to fight back until the person moved to stand in front of her. Helena motioned her to keep quiet and Hermione nodded her head in understanding. Helena looked back at the door that led to the Library before motioning for Hermione to follow her back up the stairs.

Helena and Hermione ran back up the stairs as quickly and quietly as they could. When they had finally returned to Helena's room they stopped to catch their breath.

"What was that about?" Hermione questioned the girl after a moment, "Who was that person and intruder?"

Helena looked at Hermione for a moment, she opened her mouth to speak but they both jumped slightly when another crash was heard downstairs.

"This way," Helena said in a quiet whisper.

Helena gestured to the inner room. Hermione stepped inside, the blankets on the bed on a messy heap on the floor. Apparently Helena had been in quite a hurry to catch her before she could reach the intruder.

_***CLICK***_

Hermione spun around at the sound.

Helena had locked her inside the room. She felt completely confused and was about to shout something in anger when Helena's soft voice spoke from the other side of the door.

"Please stay here and don't make any noise...trust me..."

A silence elapsed and Hermione assumed the girl had gone downstairs to face whoever it was that was rummaging around the house.

'She doesn't know I can do magic so I guess she thinks I would just get in the way. But still, to face an intruder alone?"

Hermione had no idea how much time had elapsed but the sun had already started to set when the lock on the door clicked once more and Helena stepped inside. Hermione got up instantly from her seat on the floor and walked over to Helena. Helena closed the door quietly and placed a spell on the door before turning around.

Helena had a robe wrapped around her body, her head bent over, her long hair covering her face.

"What -" was all Hermione had managed to say before Helena pushed past her and into the bathroom.

The bathroom door was quickly shut and the next moment the rushing of water was heard.

Hermione frowned at the door.

She felt something on her arm and looked down. A pink stain on her white shirt. The substance was wet and -

Merlin, she's hurt, Hermione realised looking back at the bathroom door.

She rushed over to the door and tried to open it.

She knocked on the door.

"Helena! Are you alright?"

Other than the sound of rushing water there was no noise.

Hermione continued knocking on the door.

Completely at a loss Hermione lunged for her trunk. Inside she found her wand. A quick charm opened the door and Hermione ran inside.

She froze a few steps inside the titled bathroom. The robe Helena had wrapped around herself was lying on the floor, a trail of blood leading towards the bath tub.

Helena was laying fully clothed in an overflowing bathtub, her eyes partially closed as it stared at ceiling.

Hermione rushed over and instantly turned off the water. She cringed when she saw the pinkish tint of the water and Helena's stained and ripped dress.

"Helena?" Hermione said the girls name slowly afraid that she wouldn't reply.

Helena continued staring at the ceiling, her eyes losing its usual colour.

She wracked her brain, how was she going to get a response from the girl?

Her mind returned to that story that Ernie had told her. She swallowed and moved to place her hands on Helena's face so that she was forced to look at Hermione.

"Lena?"

Something flickered in Helena's eyes. Slowly her eyes focused on Hermione.

"Can you stand?" Hermione questioned her.

It took her a moment but Helena finally spoke.

"Yes."

Hermione offered her hand and Helena reached for it, slowly as to not inadvertently injuring her more, Hermione helped Helena stand up and step out of the bathtub. They were about to move towards the room when a sudden sound caught both their attentions. Hermione noticed Helena's fingers grip hers. She turned in surprise at the girl and noticed a strange expression not on Helena's face but in her eyes.

"I come bearing gifts!"

Helena's fingers now dug into Hermione's.

Ernie must have just flooed into the room.

"Lena? Where are you?"

"We-"

Hermione stopped speaking when she turned and saw the look of panic reflected in Helena's eyes.

The girl looked at Hermione in pleading.

"Hermione?" Ernie said his voice coming closer to the bathroom the door of which was still slightly open.

Helena was now shaking her head at Hermione. Hermione nodded her head in understanding before shouting,

"I'm naked!"

"O-oh..." Ernie said in response, she could almost feel the embarrassment radiate off of him.

Hermione turned back to Helena, for a split second she thought she saw Helena stare at her through narrowed eyes. But the moment was over so quickly she was sure it was just a trick of the light. So instead of dwelling on it she helped Helena sit on the floor before walking out of the bathroom and facing Ernie.

He was on the opposite side of the room, hands folded and staring at the bedsheets on the floor in confusion.

When he saw her walking towards him his eyes flashed to the bathroom door, still partially open before back at her.

"Where is Lena?"

"Um...well she's..."

"Lena?"

There was silence.

Hermione thought Lena was just going to pretend not to be there but after a few more seconds her voice could be heard from the bathroom.

"Milly? do you need to talk to me?" Helena's voice questioned from behind the door.

"Well, nothings wrong but - what are you doing?" Ernie took a step towards the door and Hermione stepped to stop him but Helena words stopped him before she could.

"I'm having a bath, come in."

She said it so matter of factly, and as though it were perfectly normal for a girl to invite a guy to come and talk to her while she was having a bath.

Ernie froze on the spot.

"Why were you naked then?" Ernie questioned Hermione his cheeks having become quite flushed at this point.

"Sorry, I meant she was naked," Hermione tried to correct herself, "It was just a shock when you arrived that I said 'I' instead of...well...you know..."

Hermione coughed and moved to close the door to the bathroom.

"So you were saying, gifts?" Hermione smiled at Ernie.

Hermione thought she had gotten him completely distracted but her move to close the door had caught his attention.

He frowned.

His frow furrowed and he stared at the bathroom door.

He walked past Hermione, pushing some parcels and letters into her hands.

"Wai-" was all Hermione was able to say before he opened the door and walked into the bathroom without even flinching.

Hermione ran up to stand in the doorway watching the couple.

Helena was laying on the floor, wrapped in robe, her wet hair sticking to her face and -

She heard Ernie take a sudden intake of breath, and only then did it occur to her that the way Helena looked at that moment bore a striking resemblance to her appearance all those years ago when she had been pushed into the fountain.

Ernie knelt down beside Helena, Hermione thought he would try to pick her up but instead he lay down beside on the titled floor and lay his head down so that he and Helena were looking at one another.

A long silence elapsed and though neither of them spoke, Hermione noticed a few changed in Helena's expression as Ernie watched her. At one point she saw her lean her body so that she was closer to his, and his finger reached out to hold her hand. Helena's fingers clenched on her robe when he moved to touch her though and his fingers stilled before dropping to the tiled floor.

Finally, Hermione felt the need to speak, though she didn't want to break up their little moment she was worried about Helena's wounds.

"We should check her wounds, and get her dry," she said softly from her spot in the doorway.

Ernie turned his head to look at her before returning to look at Helena once more.

She nodded her head and he sat up and helped her up off the floor.

Hermione moved to help Helena over to the bed. Helena began to remove her robe and Ernie wide-eyed stumbled backwards and turned around.

"We should wait until Ernie leaves before you start undressing," Hermione whispered to Helena.

"Why?" Helena questioned completely unfazed, "We've seen each other naked before."

She heard a strange choking, garling sound coming from Ernie. She turned to see him facing determinedly at the fireplace on the other-side of the room.

"We were five!" he said in indignation, "Its a bit different now isn't Lena?"

"Why?"

Ernie just sighed in response, and Hermione couldn't help but giggle at that.

"I don't understand why he's always so upset with me," Lena said to Hermione as took the robe off of her.

"Nor I," Hermione agreed with amusement.

Ernie mumbled something inaudible to which both girls ignored.

Hermione turned her attention to Helena once more and she gasped.

"What?" Ernie turned around, before instantly looking away again.

"Um..."

"I'm fine," Helena explained, "I already healed myself while I was in the bath."

"You used magic?" Ernie questioned.

"Could you get me some dry clothes?" Helena asked Hermione.

"Oh yeah, of course..." she walked over and opened up a clothes drawer.

"Stop ignoring me," Ernie said in frustration, glaring at Hermione since he couldn't do it to the person he was really angry at.

"He's here."

The anger disappeared off of Ernie's face, and a look of concern replaced it.

"How?"

"The other day, when you arrived," it wasn't even a question, just a statement of fact. Hermione turned slightly to look at their faces but instantly turned away, she shouldn't even be listening - as hard as that was.

Silence.

Hermione had no idea what they were talking about but she grabbed some suitable clothes and undergarments and returned to Helena's side. She helped her dress and into bed before telling Ernie that he could turn around.

Ernie walked slowly over to them, Hermione moved back to give the couple a chance to speak more privately. She thought that Ernie would apologise, because although she didn't quite understand what they were talking about she had for that brief moment seen that look of shock and guilt on Ernie's face at Helena's words. Instead of apologising however he simply stood watching her for a moment before turning to leave.

"The letter is for you Hermione," Ernie said as he passed her, "The rest are for Lena."

Hermione nodded her head in understanding and watched him leave.

The next moment he was gone in a trail of floo dust.

She moved to pick up the letters and other things Ernie had handed to her, which she had dropped onto the floor when she went to help Helena.

She gathered them up and walked back to Helena.

"Do you want to look at them now?" Hermione questioned Helena.

Helena was staring at the fireplace, where Ernie had just disappeared into.

"He's angry with me," Lena said.

Hermione shocked at these words, pulled up a nearby chair and sat beside the bed, waiting for Helena to speak more, but instead after a few minutes staring at the fireplace, she rolled over, her back facing Hermione, and the next moment soft snores could be heard from the bed.

Hermione shrugged, by all accounts, this was the most Helena had ever spoken to her. So she wasn't going to complain. Baby steps.

Instead she turned her attention to the one letter that was addressed to her. She placed the other parcels on the floor and opened the letter.

It was from Harry.

"Hermione,

How long do you think you will be with Helena?

What do you think of her?

Ron is fine by the way, no need to worry, he's taken a few days off school.

See if you can snoop around or find out some more information from her family.

Harry."

Hermione stared at the letter.

Brief and straight to the point, except for the part about Ron not being at school.

She was confused but folded the letter up and opened the next letter. This one from Ginny.

_**"Hermione,**_

_**He's at St Mungo's. They say its bad to tell you this, they don't want you to see him. Bad for his rehabilitation. They've got a new healer in, they say he's good at dealing with mental trauma. I'll tell you how it goes. Don't worry to too much though, we're dealing with the other one. Ron will be fine.**_

_**Take care of yourself around Helena.**_

_**Gin."**_

Ron's back at St Mungo's? Hermione stared at Ginny's letter. After everything she had learnt from Ernie she knew that this had to with her. Was he struggling without her around? She looked at the parcel on her lap. She was almost afraid to open it.

Hermione's trembling fingers traced the wrapping paper as her thoughts swirled around in her head.

She was saved from any further internal struggle when she looked up to see Helena watching her.

"I need food."

Hermione blinked back at her.

Helena slowly sat up in the bed.

"Come, I will make something for us to eat."

Helena stood up from the bed and reached for a robe which she slid into before looking over her shoulder at Hermione.

"And tea."

It took her a moment to realise that Helena was standing at the door waiting for her.

She got over the shock of that thought and stood up to follow Lena downstairs.

"Do you like Earl Grey?" Helena questioned as they made their way down the stairs.

"Uh, yes, I suppose."

"Good."

Hermione's stared in shock as they reached the foyer. There were pieces of furniture strewn across the floor.

"What in Merlin's -"

"I hope the good china is clean..." Helena's voice trailed off into the distance and Hermione quickly followed after the girl far too many questions spinning around her head at the moment for any particular one to take precedence.

It was some time after, while Lena poured them bout some tea, in a room filled ceiling high with covered furniture, they were squeezed into a corner near a dusty window which allowed in a brown coloured light. Helena was sipping on her tea and rubbing at her shoulder absent mindedly and Hermione was simply at a loss for words when the other girl finally spoke.

"I suppose you would like to know about Ronald now."

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading and commenting :)


	19. Interlude 1

**A/N: What two updates all at once? Is she insane? Christmas come early?**

**Nope, like on so many other occasions my muse hit me, hard, at 3am in the morning no less...enjoy, while I go to sleep. **

* * *

**Interlude: Letter #1 **

The darkness inside.

It's not as bad as you may think.

It's not like I feel pain. I don't. I don't feel anything at all actually.

In some ways that better.

And in other ways its so much, much worse.

I could tell they didn't know what to do with me.

They were like little things floating around me, little insignificant things that were just distracting me. Trying to take me away.

Away from what?

Away from this.

This silence.

This quiet.

This strange calmness.

This.

This darkness.

They would come in. Poke and prod at me but I could not give them what they wanted.

What did they want?

Sometimes I thought I knew, and a part of me wanted to give it to them. To drag that piece of me out and hand it to them, so that they could leave, leave and let me be. Let me return to the darkness.

Why wouldn't they let me? Why did they want me to return with them?

I was fine, I was content where I was.

I just wanted them to stop. Stop trying so much. Leave me be, leave me alone. Let me rest. Rest at last.

The noise. The sound. The colours. The brightness.

Why did it hurt me so much?

So much - so much pain and hurt and loss. Why did they want to drag me out of my peace, out of my darkness to that place?

I just wanted to be. Be here. Alone. Always alone. Alone. Alone. Alone...

Let me rest.

If I rest, if I sleep, if I don't...live then it won't hurt so much.

Hurts.

Hurts to live without her.

Without her near me. Without her laugh, her smile, her life...her existence...her love.

Love.

My love.

Why must it hurt.

Leave me alone here love, leave me love, leave...as you must...as you will...as you chose.

Leave me.

Alone.

Always alone.

In this silence.

This quiet.

This strange calmness.

This.

This darkness.

This...emptiness...

**PATIENT SESSION RECORD #1 END.**


	20. Interlude 2

**Interlude: Letter #2**

They ask me describe. To explain. To let them in.

They think I can?

That I can use words to show them?

I cannot.

Words.

Words are not my weapons.

Words do not belong to me.

Words are hers.

Always hers.

Her words. Always hers.

Her.

**Incomplete Record.**

**Reason**: Adverse patient reaction.

**Recommendation**: Further testing and treatment after appropriate period of rest - for Healer.

**PATIENT SESSION RECORD #2 END.**


	21. Interlude 3

**Interlude: Letter #3**

I am not afraid.

Darkness is nothing to be afraid of.

It is calm here.

In this place there is no pain, no suffering.

Is this heaven?

No. It cannot be. Why then would they wish to drag me back to that place?

That place where the light, the sounds, the life brings only pain.

What pain?

I know of pain.

When it hits, the pain is instant. The shock follows, anger, hurt, anguish...then comes the dullness. The dull pain, the pain that they say will fade. Over time will fade.

Time heals all wounds?

They lie.

My pain remains. That pain. That dullness, it will not fade.

It remains, always with me, always.

Only when I am here. In the dark. In the emptiness. In the cold that there is not pain.

No thoughts.

No memories.

No sounds.

No...

No her.

This place is my heaven.

My place of refuge. Here I am safe. Safe from...from memories.

Is that why she forgets me?

Why she erases me from her existence?

Yes.

I will erase my existence.

I will stay.

Stay in the dark.

Stay.

Disappear.

Become nothing.

I am nothing.

Nothing.

Nobody.

...not enough...never enough...never was...

**Healer notes:**

**Diagnosis**: Mental trauma ongoing. Reasons remain unclear. Patient incoherent outside sessions.

**Recommendation**: Weekly sessions rather than fortnightly sessions. Supervision may be required. Family & Friends visitations daily - weekly acceptable.

**PATIENT SESSION #3 END.**

**

* * *

**

**A/N: **I'm not entirely sure how helpful these interludes are in helping y'all understand Ron's mental state but for me, as the writer, its kinda scary. As many writers know the characters take you over and the words just flow. The words over the last few 'interludes' were Ron's words. Ron that I created for this fic that is and the place I had to go with him to write them was scary. There was an image which flashed into my head while writing this that made me physically sick.

So can I ask everyone, are you feeling what Ron is feeling? Are these chapters helping you understand him?

If you'd like to get a peek into my mind/Ron's mind, there is a chilling image I remember from a long time ago that pretty much sums up Ron's state of mind, I've posted it at my livejournal, link to that is available in my author profile, or I'll pm you the link/image if you ask me in your comments.


	22. Interlude 4

**Interlude: Letter #4**

Cold.

Was it always this cold?

It doesn't hurt. But it feels...

Feel?

Do I still feel?

No.

There is a difference.

The body can react and the mind can forget.

Easy to forget.

Who they are.

The people who come.

Come to watch. Stare. Wait.

Their eyes always on me.

Watching, waiting for me to return with them.

I do not know them. I do not need them. I do not - want them.

I have forgotten.

Who they are. Who I am. Who - she is.

She.

She whose memory would pain me. Strikes at me.

Through the dark. She will reach down and try to touch me.

I cannot let her.

She is not real.

She will not be there.

She is gone.

And I am left.

Left alone. Alone like always. Alone like I will forever remain.

And in this place. This cold - cold place I will stay.

Stay where she cannot touch me. They cannot touch me.

And yet he remains. In the dark, waiting...

Yes. He stays with me now. Together in the darkness.

He. The cold. He is the cold. He is the dark.

He remains beside me now, perhaps always has been here. A part of me. Me and yet not.

Cold. I am. He is. Both the same. And yet...

**Healer notes:**

**Observations**: Recent sessions have allowed the Healer to apply _Legilimency_ successfully and on multiple occasions have been possible to carry on short conversations with patient. However on this occasion session ended abruptly due to stress on patient and healer.

**Diagnosis**: Incomplete. Possible childhood trauma triggered by recent events in patients life.

**Recommendation**: Continue treatment, changed to **daily sessions** where possible. Supervision **required** outside sessions. If possible, move patient to a single room, patient does **not** respond well to more than one person in the room at the same time.

**Minimal** family visitations.


	23. The room was silent

**Chapter 18: The Room Was Silent**

Hermione picked at the food on her plate warily as she watched Helena carefully.

Helena in turn looked back at her unflinching.

"You want to know, don't you?"

Hermione nodded her head mutely.

Helena sipped some of her tea as though taking a moment to collect her thoughts. It was hard so see clearly her expression in the small and cramped storage like room, one of the curtains beside the table beside them had been pushed aside by Helena when they had entered the room to allow some of the morning light inside. The windows were dusty and cracked, spraying strange streams of light into the room and onto Helena's face.

She looked up from her cup of tea to turn her attention to Hermione.

"I will be a healer when I graduate from Hogwarts," Lena began, placing the cup of tea down with a slight chink on its plate, "Since I've been small its what I've known I wanted to do."

Helena leaned back in her seat and stared out the dusty window.

"I didn't want to be a burden on those around me, always talking about what would happen to me when Mother...when she was gone," Helena finished with a deep breath.

"I think that's what he saw in me."

Hermione stared at Helena intently, "You mean Ron?"

"He and I are similar in so many ways," Helena continued, "we both fear that our existence will be a burden on those around us."

"I don't understand," Hermione interrupted, "How did you even - I mean other than with Ernie you aren't very...I mean you don't have many..."

"I don't have trouble talking to people," Helena continued when Hermione faltered, "But the way I speak seems to bother some people. Milly is the only one - "

Helena's eyes cast downwards as she spoke.

"He is the only one who understand what I am thinking without words."

"Are - are you two...do you love him?" Hermione questioned curiously.

Lena lifted her head to look at Hermione.

"It's impossible."

Helena spoke with such finality that Hermione knew that that line of questioning was at an end, so she continued their conversation about Ron.

"How did you meet Ron?"

"He was in the isolation ward, the only people allowed to visit were healers. I was taking mother for a check up with her Healers, and we passed by his room. Mother and I both recognised him and she asked the Healer what had happened to him. We were told that he had suffered mental trauma, perhaps as a result of a misfired memory or other mind charm."

Hermione's heart stopped.

"W-what?" she said in barely a whisper.

"A misfired or improperly conducted memory modification spell had triggered something in his mind and he had been in a waking sleep ever since."

"Waking sl-sleep?" Hermione gulped.

Helena nodded.

"It was a curious case, and being a healer in training I asked if I may visit him and monitor his condition."

Helena looked at Hermione for a long time before speaking again.

"I was allowed access to the Healer records."

Hermione waited for Helena to continue.

But instead she stood up and began packing away their dishes.

"We need to go, he will be awake soon."

"He? he who?"

"My father," Helena said as she took the plates into the adjoining kitchen.

"Will you take me to see him?" Hermione questioned as they made their way back up to Helena's room.

"No."

"No?" Hermione hurried her step so that she could stand in front of Helena, "Why not?"

"How dare a mudblood slave speak to her Mistress that way!"

Hermione's eyes widened in shock as someone gripped her by the arm and spun her around.

A tall menacing man sneered down at her. His clothes were clearly tailored and well made however they were in a disarray as though the man had slept in them from the night before. You could tell by the redness of his eyes and the stench in the air when he spoke that he had been drinking. He began to sway on the spot and grabbed onto a nearby ornamental statue to right himself. Hermione tried to steady herself as he still had a grip on her arm and she almost fell right into the man as he stumbled around.

"She's Milly's cousin," Helena spoke cutting through the silence, which surprised Hermione, Helena never seemed to mind silence of any kind, uncomfortable or not.

The man faltered, looking from Helena's usual blank expression to Hermione's shocked one.

"I see," he said slowly releasing Hermione from his grip.

Hermione stumbled back and stood beside Helena.

Even though it had only been a moment but his breath stunk of alcohol and cigarettes, and the smell disgusted her. More so when she saw the traces of blood on his shirt, blood that was clearly not his. Hermione's eyes quickly glanced at Helena when she stepped between her father and Hermione before motioning for Hermione to walk with her. Hermione followed Helena's lead and walked with her down the hall and away from the strange man glaring daggers at his daughter.

"Where is that bloody elf? tell her to get me my breakfast, it's already past eight!"

Helena didn't stop walking as she replied.

"Minnie is gone father, you freed her."

Hermione's eyes widened and she turned back at the man who was Helena's father. Hermione wondered briefly what kind of man he must be. His wife was ill and he was drinking himself to sleep. Was he suffering from despair at his wife's illness? Then again, why would a father be looking at his daughter the way he was as though her very presence disgusted him.

Hermione saw Lena tense slightly as they quickened their pace to her room. When they had entered and locked the doors, Helena pushed Hermione from the outer siting area to the where the bed chamber. Once that was locked they both stopped to catch their breaths.

"What's going on?"

Both Hermione and Helena jumped when a voice spoke behind them.

They turned to find Ernie sprawled out on the bed as though he had just been taking a nap.

Helena walked up to him and since she had her back towards her, Hermione couldn't see what expression caused Ernie to flush to his ears and sit up in the bed quickly.

"Did we wake you..."

Hermione thought that was a completely odd statement to make after finding a guy in her bed but then again this was Lena and the rules that applied to everyone else just didn't apply to her.

Helena trailed off and crawled onto the bed so that she was knelling in front of Ernie.

Hermione was feeling increasingly uncomfortable, she didn't understand it but it was like these two forgot there were other people around when they were together.

She slowly stepped away from them and walked over to the bathroom to leave them to themselves. She closed the bathroom and walked over to the bathtub and sat on the tiled floor leaning against the tub.

"Ron, are you alright?" she questioned the void.

She sat hugging her legs to her chest and wondered what was happening to Ron at the moment.

_***CRASH***_

Hermione started and stood up from the ground. She threw open the door to the bathroom and then instantly closed it again.

It had been only for a second but it had been enough for Hermione.

Helena had Ernie pinned to the ground, and...

"F-fine, its fine, just let me up..." Hermione heard Ernie's muffled voice say.

She crept over to the door again and tentatively opened it to peer outside.

Helena still had Ernie pinned to the ground but now he lifted a hand to touch her face.

"Don't cry," he said in a barely audible voice.

And this time Hermione shut her eyes and closed the door firmly before stepping backwards. She definitely was not supposed to see that.

Some time later it was Ernie who opened the door for Hermione.

"Where's Lena?" Hermione questioned noticing the empty room.

Ernie frowned at her. Did it bother him to hear someone else call her that.

He noticed her watching and quickly rearranged his face.

"She went to make breakfast for her father," he explained rubbing his eyes tiredly. He mumbled something under his breath but she didn't catch what he had said.

"Are you alright?" she questioned tentatively.

Hermione saw Ernie's body shift and he stood straighter when he replied.

"Yeah, fine, absolutely wonderful, why do you ask?" he had a huge smile plastered on his face and had she not seen his exhausted expression seconds before she would have believed him.

"Nothing, its just," she paused unsure of what to say to fill the void. Ernie continued to smile at her, an encouraging look on his face as though he couldn't wait to hear what she said. She didn't realise it until then but it was difficult to talk to Ernie just as much as it was with Helena, you just didn't know how to talk to them. With Lena she seemed off in her own world as though she didn't need you there, and with Ernie, his cheerful disposition and humour as though he would hang on your every word...now that she thought about it was in its own way insincere and she couldn't help thinking that he too didn't need anyone near him to keep him content.

He was still waiting for her to continue and Hermione just gave a non-committal shrug before walking out of the bathroom.

"Did she tell you what happened with her father?" she questioned him, talking about Helena seemed to be the only time he slipped out of his Hogwarts facade.

She turned in time to see the dark expression on his face but when she had turned to completely face him he was looking away from her.

"It was my fault," he sighed, "I used magic, when I first arrived here that night do you remember?"

Hermione recalled that night he had stumbled out of the fireplace and asked for Lena. She nodded and he continued.

"I was careless, I was in such a rag - " he glanced at her before correcting himself, "I was so shocked when she disappeared from school and I had to be told second hand..." there was a hardness to his voice when he spoke those last few words.

"I had to see if she was alright, I just needed to know that she was okay."

Ernie had moved to sit on Lena's bed. He picked up a small box off the bed, a green box with pale white silk ribbon.

"I used 'lumos'."

"I don't understand," Hermione said when he stopped talking.

He pinched the bridge of his nose before explaining.

"This house, it belongs to the Lawsons, her father married into the family and Lena's mother kept her family name and insisted that Lena do the same. Her father agreed because he thought it was because Lena's mother was proud of the Lawson family history."

"Troll hunters?"

"Amoung other things," Ernie gritted his teeth at the words.

"But that's not why she kept the name," Hermione guessed.

Ernie nodded.

"Lena told me that her mother had always told her to remember what her name meant, that it was important for us to accept the mistakes of the past and learn from them. To not repeat history," Ernie sighed as though those words held a different and more significant meaning to him but whatever it was he didn't share it with her instead he continued.

"This place is under Lena's name, it belongs to her, her mother ensured it would be that way specifically so that her father couldn't sell it or gamble it away. And Lena's mother has been staying her being taken care of by a maid and Minnie the house elf."

"You see," he stopped to explain when she stared at him in confusion, "Lena's father didn't know about this house, the Lawson's owned a few different properties not only in England but abroad and he thought he had sold them all."

"But didn't he suspect anything when his wife disappeared?"

Ernie looked at her pityingly as though she had said the most naive thing in the world and he didn't want to be the one to tell her the truth.

"He married her for her money," he said, "He could care less that she was sick, that she had been tortured by Death Eaters rather than helping them was a cause of shame in his eyes and he drilled that into Helena every day of her life."

Ernie clenched his fists in anger.

"And despite all that..." Ernie turned his face away from her but Hermione heard his voice break when he spoke, "Lena is still so - trusting, so - "

She suspected that he would have said something like 'perfect' or 'beautiful' but he let the air hang silently for a moment before speaking once more.

"Anyway, her father works at the Ministry so all underage magic is recorded, we don't get into any kind of trouble but the records are all kept. When she's staying with us over the summer she performs magic as much as I do but when she's here she keeps her wand locked up. If she were to perform magic here or anyone were to do magic in this house it also registers in the Ministry records."

"And he would know about the house," Hermione said finally understanding, this is why the house looked the way it did, it was a safe house, a refuge and they had no need to keep it tidy and neat and presentable for guest because there were never any guests. And now because of what Ernie did - oh.

The look of guilt on his face made Hermione wish that she had not spoken.

The silence was only broken when the door creaked open.

Lena was standing in the doorway, and once again the couple shared a look that was far too intimate, no, Hermione corrected herself, as usual Lean's face was unreadable but the emotions on Ernie's face was what unnerved her. That facade completely dissolved when he was in Lena's presence and every emotion was displayed on his face and made Hermione uncomfortable. That kind of vulnerability and access to a person was not something that you were supposed to see so easily in a person, just like it was unnerving the way you couldn't read anything in Lena's face the polar opposite was also unnerving.

"This is for you," Ernie held up the box in his lap and held it out for Helena to take shaking Hermione from her thoughts.

Lena stepped towards him and took the box from his fingers, he held onto the box for a moment before releasing it.

"Candy," he explained standing up from the bed and leaning over and kissing the top of her head.

"Come back to school yeah? Mother has arranged for someone to come take care of your mother."

Helena bent her head down but didn't reply.

Ernie turned and looked at Hermione.

"Thanks for listening."

Hermione just nodded, she didn't really do anything but some of the tension did ease out of his frame as he stepped up to the fireplace.

He stopped to look at Lena and they another one of their silent conversations, she couldn't understand how it was even possible since Lena's face remained as stoic as it always was.

The instant Ernie was gone Lena turned to look at her.

"Ron is back at Hogwarts."

Hermione stared at Lena wide eyed.

"You can return but I will remain with mother for a few more days."

Hermione ached to return to Ron's side, to see how he was doing and try to repair their fractured relationship. But was that the right thing to do? She didn't know, she realised that despite all this time away from Hogwarts she was still second guessing her every move. She turned to Helena.

"Do you think I should go to him?"

Lena returned her gaze.

Hermione thought she would say something like 'What would the other Hermione do,' or 'Decide that for yourself' but instead she said,

"No."

'Blunt as always,' Hermione thought to herself but rather than dismissing her answer as just being rude as she would have before coming here instead she thought about it for a moment before asking Lena why she thought that.

"He would have been in the isolation ward for the past week or so, he needs time to readjust to everyone at Hogwarts. He needs to feel like everything has returned to normal once more before he can deal with you."

Hermione's saucer sized eyes blinked at Helena.

"A-alright then, I'll stay here with you for a few more days."

Lena nodded before moving to place the green box Ernie had given her on the bedside table. She left her fingers on the box for a moment before walking towards the door.

"Father has left for work, I have to start cleaning the house."

Hermione followed Lena out of the room.

"Why?"

"Father will be staying here."

They walked in silence through the large empty house for a long time at least that's what it felt like to Hermione before she spoke.

"And your mother."

"Ernie's mother will be coming the day after tomorrow to move her, she's going to the MacMillian summer house by the sea."

***_crash_***

It was only for a second but the thought of the sea and ocean had brought back flashes of memories of her time at Shell cottage. She realised that Helena was staring at her and that she had stopped walking.

"What?" she said when Helena continued to stare at her.

"You looked angry."

Hermione stared at Lena in shock.

"I - I did?"

"Just for a moment," Lena explained before moving to walk once more, "In fact you looked like a completley different person for a second."

Hermione shivered.

She had a suspicion of what had happened and had been suspecting for some time but to have someone else vocalise it was terrifying.

"You're afraid of remembering," Lena said it so matter of factly that Hermione found it pointless to deny it.

"Yes," she said softly as she helped Helena open the windows throughout the house, they needed to get the stale dusty air out of the house.

Helena didn't push her, she just said what she thought and Hermione found it strangely comforting. That someone wasn't hiding anything from her.

"What if I remember and I lose who I am now," Hermione said more to herself than to Lena but Lena had heard her.

"That won't happen."

Hermione stilled as she opened one of the french doors that lead onto a balcony on the second floor of the house. How could she say something like that with so much confidence. As though reading her mind, or her expression perhaps Helena continued.

"I see you, and you are the same person. Maybe you don't remember everything but you are the same person just put in a different situation."

"How can you say that with so much confidence," Hermione vocalised what she had been thinking for some time now.

"The benefit of people never noticing you around," Lena explained as she lifted one of the sheets off of a nearby table and into the air, "Is that you can see people when they have their guard down."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. This sounded like something a spy would say, she thought to herself, but then why would Lena be trying to help her like this?

"I've always been good at seeing people for what they are," Lena continued, "Milly thinks I'm innocent but I've seen the darkness in people's hearts."

She turned to Hermione then.

"Which is why I told you not to go straight back to Ron."

Hermioen furrowed her brow at Lena.

"Are you saying that there's a darkness in Ron?"

'Impossible!' she told herself.

"Yes. Its an all consuming darkness and its something that he has to fight on his own."

"He isn't alone!" Hermione protested.

"You left him alone," Lena countered, silencing Hermione's words.

Hermione looked down at the ground.

"You've misunderstood."

Hermione looked up at Lena's words.

"You are not the cause of the darkness inside him, but your actions, your presence tips the scales one way or the other."

Hermione watched Lena carefully.

"You should keep that in mind before making any rash decisions."

She wanted to scoff at that. Hermione was reliable and rational, she never made rash decisions.

"I'm not the only one who has trouble dealing with people."

She didn't like the way this conversation was going. To have to rehash every decision she made and their consequences, was she ready for that? No. Not yet anyway. She turned the conversation back onto Lena.

"Did you say that to Ron?" Hermione questioned Lena as they sat down on the floor of the library resting, "That he shouldn't make any rash decisions?"

Hermione watched Lena's reaction as she leaned against one of the many bookshelves and Lena sat in one of the leather armchairs the white material used to keep it dust free laid folded in Lena's lap. Hermione realised half way through cleaning the library that Lena moved around as though she knew exactly what she was doing, and in which order to do it in. Firstly open the windows, allow the stale air out and allow the fresh breeze in. Move the boxes to one side of the room, unpack anything that needed unpacking and once the boxes were disposed of to finally remove the white sheets off of the furniture. It hit her with a strange pang to realise that the reason she knew how to do everything was because her father had done this to all their houses, that she had grown up and watched all the homes her family owned being sold off. But if she hated her father she didn't show it, in fact she paid him as much attention as she did anyone else.

"There is a darkness inside all of us," Helena replied, "And we can't always follow those dark impulses, no matter how tempting they may."

Hermione watied for her to elaborate but instead she stood up and moved to the one of the french doors that led out into the gardens.

Hermione watched Lena slip off her shoes and step outside without a word.

Hermione stood up from the floor and walked over to the open doors. The sky outside was cloudy and although it rumbled now and then she didn't think it would rain just yet. Lena on the other hand didn't seem to mind either way and continued to make her way across the overgrown lawn. She disappeared in the tree and Hermione thought she should follow her but didn't know if she should let her be, and what if Lena's mother needed something. But then again, Lena's mothers health has slowly been improving over the last few days and Lena was more often around the house cleaning than with her.

'There you go second guessing yourself.'

Hermione looked back into the house before stepping outside in what felt like years and running through the overgrown grass and into the wood that surrounded the house.

"Lena?" she shouted after a few minutes of aimlessly running in one direction. The house was large enough that she could still see it but -

Hermione turned and froze.

She had been walking aimlessly and hadn't really heard anything other than the sound of her own breathing so it was a shock when she walked paste a few bushes and found Ernie and Helena in a tight embrace.

She heard someone sobbing and wasn't sure if it was Ernie or Helena.

"Don't say that," Ernie said in a strained voice, "Just let me in."

He placed a hand on her cheek and lifted her face to look at him.

"Please, let me back in..."

Hermione started to step away because this was definitely not something she was meant to see, but it seemed to have the opposite effect because she stepped on a twig and it made a sound so loud in the silence that it sounded like thunder had just struck.

Both faces turned to look at her and Ernie pushed Lena away from him. Lena kept her eyes on Ernie before walking over to Hermione.

"I need to make dinner," she said before walking past Hermione and back into the house.

"U-uh...I..." Ernie said before giving up and walking off into the woods.

Hermione wanted to follow him but she knew she would be lost if she didn't follow Lena back to the house. She caught up with her just as they reached the overgrown lawn. She knew by now that if she asked Helena a question then she would get a straight forwards answer but she didn't know if the relationship she had with Ernie would be one she would be open to talking about.

Helena told Hermione to start cleaning out the dining room while she cooked dinner. She did as she was told and she was relieved to have something to do. To not let her mind wander onto areas she wasn't ready to deal with yet like Ron.

An hour later, she had managed to move the boxes across the room and moved the chairs from where they had been stacked against the wall to their rightful place around the table. How glad she was that she could use magic now, Lena's father already knew about he house so there was no point in restraining themselves Lena had told her.

Hermione only realised that Lena's father would be joining them for dinner when Lena came out with three plates of food rather than the usual two. Hermione was still arranging the chairs and she noticed Helena prepare the table for dinner.

"Will he be here long?" Hermione questioned Lena.

"For the night," Lena replied.

"Do you want me to call him down for dinner?" Hermione offered.

"No," Lena replied, although there was no emotion in her voice the quickly manner in which Lena had replied unnerved Hermione. She couldn't shake the suspicion that Lena's dad had been physically abusing Lena and that that was the cause of her bleeding the other day.

Dinner was a quiet affair but every now and then Lena's father would complain about the food. Lena simply replied with a 'yes Father,' 'if you tell me what you dislike I could change it for you Father'.

When he had left to smoke and drink in the study. Hermione turned to Lena.

"How can you stand his behaviour like that?"

Lena just looked at her.

"He's my father."

"But -"

"He's family," Lena said with finality before turning and walking away, "And I owe him that much."

Hermione was confused by that but Lena was already walking into the kitchens with the dirty dishes and Hermione begun to understand what Ernie found so frustrating with her, it was like she just didn't understand that the way her father was treating her was wrong. Either that or she just accepted it because she didn't know any better, perhaps that was the norm between them.

As she prepared for bed she heard the wardrobe doors opening and closing a few times and the shuffling of clothes. When she had finished brushing her teeth she stepped out into the room to find Lena standing with a dress held up in front of her as she looked at her reflection in the mirror.

She saw Hermione watching her and let her arm drop to her side.

Neither of them spoke and Hermione moved to the bed as Lena flicked her wand and the clothes flew back into the wardrobe.

She noticed the box of candy Ernie had given Helena had dropped to the ground by one of the flying clothes and she picked it up off the floor.

She almost dropped it again when someone shouted from behind her.

**"Don't touch that!"**

Hermione turned around slowly and stared in shock as Lena snatched the box from her fingers. Lena's eyes were glaring at her with such ferocity that she thought she could strike her down just by the coldness in them. She shivered involuntarily as Lena's gaze bored through her.

The next moment Lena turned and walked over to the top drawer of her wardrobe, she held the box to her chest for a moment her eyes closed before placing the box inside. Hermione released the breath that she didn't know she was holding.

"S-s-sorry," Hermione stuttered once she had recovered from her shock. That was the first time ever she had seen Helena show any kind of emotion. The words were out before she knew it.

"Do you love Ernie?"

Helena was still standing with her back towards her but she spoke from across the room.

"Yes."

"But today in the -"

"But its impossible."

Hermione felt all her pent up frustration bubbling to the top, here they were two people obviously in love and yet Lena persisted in pushing Ernie away.

"Why do you keep saying that?" Hermione said in exasperation.

"Because he's my **_brother_**."

* * *

**AN: Thanks for the encouragement guys, I don't want to come across as a petulant child but its just really nice to feel appreciated and that people are enjoying my work. **


	24. We all tried so hard to remember

**Chapter 19: We all tried so hard to remember**

"He's my brother."

Hermione felt her mouth literally drop. It took a few moments during which time Lena had stepped away from her cupboard and walked towards the bed to lay down. Hermione watched her progress.

Finally she stepped towards the bed and sat down.

Before she could say anything Lena got up from the bed and stood in front of her.

"Umm..." was all hermione could say in response to Lena's stare.

"You sleep here."

With that, Lena turned and walked out of the room.

"Hey, wait!" Hermione said quickly getting up and grabbing Lena's arm.

She was pushed back when Lena shook her arm off and moved away from Hermione. Lena grabbed her arm and held it to her chest as though Hermione had burned her.

They stared at each other for a long time before Lena said.

"I don't like people touching me."

Lena turned and walked from the room, slamming the door behind her. Hermione jumped when the door slammed and she sat back down on the bed.

Hermione stared at the door in disbelief.

"She's just as moody as anyone else," she scoffed, "You let Ernie touch you though so what's the big deal?"

Hermione stared at the door before giving up and laying down on the bed to sleep.

An hour later she was rolling around on the bed before pushing the sheets away. She sat up and leaned against the headboard.

"Just ignore it," she told herself rubbing her eyes, "it's not your business."

Her eyes moved to the cupboard.

She sighed before laying down again.

"Sleep!"

* * *

She awoke to find Lena staring down at her. She had to bite back a scream of shock.

Lena simply moved back while Hermione sat up in bed.

"What's the matter?" Hermione questioned Lena.

"You have interesting sleeping habits," Lena said before turning to reach for something on the bedside table.

It was at this point that Hermione realised that Lena was wearing a very pretty albiet old fashioned dress akin to the old style Eightenth century dresses. Lena was slipping on a silver bracelet before passing a hand over her dress.

She looked at Hermione as though she felt Hermione's eyes on her.

"Glasses," was all Hermione could say in response.

Lena had rarely worn her glasses while they remained in in the house and so it took Hermione a while to realise what was odd about her appearance.

"I will be helping mother move today, I will need to see things clearly."

Hermione raised an eyebrow at that sentence, was it just her or was there a double meaning to that sentence but of course Lena had spoken in her usual deadpan voice that it was difficult to decide one way or another. Apparently the outbursts of emotion that Hermione had seen the night before was all gone. Perhaps it was only in matters relating to Ernie that those bursts of emotion would come forth.

"Do you need my help?" Hermione questioned Lena.

"No," Lena said turning away to walk out of the room at Hermione sigh she looked over her shoulder at Hermione causing her to still in her movements, "You may accompany however."

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise before she nodded her head. She jumped up from the bed and instantly began getting ready.

It was only when she had washed her face and pulled her hair into a puffy ponytail did she realise that that was perhaps the first time Lena had asked to Hermione to accompany simply for company's sake.

Hermione felt something ease off of her shoulders at the thought. She didn't know why but the thought that Lena had begun to consider her as something of a friend or at the least a friendly companion.

She closed the door to the room and began to make her way down the hall to find where Lena had dissapeared to. She stopped on the top of the main staircase when she found a tall beautiful woman holding out her arms as Lena raced down the last few steps to cross the entrance hall.

The woman laughed a chime like laugh when Lena almost jumped into her arms but stopped abruptly a few steps away from her.

**_'Huh. well at least its not just me she doesn't like touching.'_**

_Hermione slowly made her way down the stairs catching the conversation of the two woman as she moved closer._

"Well now, you grow prettier and prettier each time I see you," the woman said reaching forward to touch Lena's cheek but stopped herself to simply squeeze Lena's shoulder, "But what are these glasses you are wearing."

Before Lena could speak or perhaps this woman possessed the same ability as Ernie and simply read Lena's expressions, the woman reached inside her clutch to present to Lena a dark wood box. Even at the angle Hermione stood a few steps above the pair she could see that box, perhaps mahogany, was engraved with intricate patterns, of what she wasn't sure but it caused Lena to look up at the woman with almost happiness in her eyes.

The woman smiled dotingly down on the girl.

Lena opened the box and inside were a pair of rectangular glasses with green and silver frames. Lena lifted the glasses from the box for a moment before looking up at the woman.

"Well try them on dear," the woman said holding the box so that Lena could change the glasses she wore for the much simpler ones, "Now there, you look all the more lovelier."

"Now you have a beautiful box to keep your mothers glasses inside."

Lena nodded as she clasped the box to to her chest in much a similar way she had held Ernie's candy box to her chest the night before.

"Thank you Aunt Emie," Lena said with a whisper of a smile on her lips.

'**_Emie_**?' Hermione thought to herself, '**_She didn't know anyone with that name._**'

But she needn't had wondered for long as the woman as though finally noticing her standing a few steps away from them turned to look at her in puzzlement. Lena turned to look at her when she noticed the woman's attention turned towards something behind her.

"This is Hermione Granger," Lena introduced her and Hermione almost stumbled as she moved down the last few steps to shake the hand that was outstretched towards her. It was only when the full gaze of the woman was on her did she realise how beautiful she was.

The woman had curly hazel brown hair which was swept up out of the way but still flowed just below her shoulders. Her heartshaped face framed by loose curls and crystal blue eyes that caused Hermione to stare. She had never seen eyes like that before, the blue so clear and bright as though she were looking into a pool of crystal blue sea. She wore a dress very similar to Lena except rather than the dark green that Lena wore, it was a powder blue colour. She wondered if perhaps the reason for Lena going through her wardrobe last night was to suit this woman's tastes.

Hermione then surmised that Lena had just said something about Ernie causing the same shocked expression on women as his mother had just had on Hermione. Hermione blushed at that realisation, it wasn't her fault, it was just that it was the first time Hermione had seen anyone so beautiful in real life and she was half awe half envy as she watched the woman almost float up the stairs past her now.

That chime like laugh shook her back to reality and she realised that Lena must have said something because the woman, Aunt Emie, was not looking at Lena affectionately.

"Well I wonder how many girls are chasing after him them."

"The same as always," Lena replied.

This caused the woman to laugh once more.

Hermione watched the women ascend the steps and had she not known that Lena's mother was laying in her at this moment she would have thought this woman was Lena's mother.

She reached the pair just as the woman turned to search for her.

"Hermione, are you Ron's - "

"Servant? Yes, I am."

The woman looked at her as though puzzled before looking at Lena.

"Well, yes I suppose you are technically but you aren't you also his -"

Hermione didn't know what the woman was about to say to end that sentence before a well timed "Mother!" caught all their attentions.

The exasperated voice that had called to the woman belonged to Ernie.

"Ernest dear, why on earth aren't you at school."

Ernie rolled his eyes mother before moving towards them across the hall.

He stopped in his tracks when he noticed Lena standing beside his mother.

His eyebrows raised slightly but he didn't say or make any moves to come closer.

She saw a smile on Ernie's mothers face as she watched her son.

Lena on the other hand, well now, that was interesting.

Lena fumbled with the glasses as she turned and ran down the hall towards her mothers room.

"Ernest, Ernest! Ernie!" his mother sighed when Ernie shook his head and fix his facial expression before looking at his mother when she had called him, "You know how embarrassed she gets when you stare at her like that."

A pink tinge rose up his neck and Hermione had to bite back the laughter.

"I told you I didn't want to hold a birthday party for me this year," Ernie said once he had regained his composure.

His mother simply rolled his eyes at him before turning and walking away. It was no use though cause Ernie simply kept pace with her as he pleaded, no, begged to not hold a birthday party for him.

While she watched the Macmillian servants assist in the packing of luggage and helping Lena's mother outside where an old fashioned coach stood Hermione took her opportunity when she could and tried to speak to Lena. Unfortunately, Lena, ever as good as reading people as always avoiding her and at one point even assisted a servant to haul some suitcases downstairs.

Hermione saw her opportunity while Ernie and his mother helped Lena's mother inside the coach, and while Lena ordered the servants on how to arrange the luggage. Hermione stepped up to Lena and said in a whisper.

"What I cannot understand is how you can even begin to think that Ernie is your brother."

Lena didn't reply but simply walked past Hermione and held her mother's hand from the window of the coach. Hermione saw Lena bend down so that her mother could kiss her on the cheek.

Of course it didn't surprise her there, that she would allow her mother to touch her but it struck Hermione as odd that she should be almost afraid of anyone else touching her. She felt a chill run through her at the thought, one which she had had on many other occassions since meeting Lena's father that she was perhaps being physically abused. Her thoughts changed course completely when she saw Ernie step back to stand beside Lena while the coach door was closed and the servants and parents drove away.

She was a distance away and although they continued to watch the coach drive away she saw the way Ernie's fingers came close to Lena's and she did not step away from him but neither did she move to touch his hand either. Instead after a few moments she said almost, almost bitingly, as much as Lena could manage with her calm manner of speaking, but there was definitely a strange inflection in her voice when she spoke,

"Shouldn't you be getting back to Andrea."

She watched Lena turn then and walk swiftly past her. Ernie watched Lena's before an almost annoyed and frustrated look crossed his face before he walked back inside the house.

She waited a moment to give them some privacy because his face looked like he wanted to shout at Lena. She was pretty much correct because when she finally ventured inside she heard the end of an argument.

"...that is irrelevant. It was -"

"Opportunisitc!" Ernie shouted at Lena who stood a few steps above him on the staircase.

Lena moved her arms to wrap them around herself at his words and Erie took a step towards her but stopped when he saw her move her head slightly. She heard him sigh.

"For how long must you insist on punishing me for Lena? I feel it every day, and this - this ridiculous engagement that you have with Weasley -"

"I do not plan to marry him," Lena cut Ernie off.

"Then what the - what on earth are you doing? You do know what happens when people get engaged right?"

"And you Mcmillian," Hermione saw Ernie cringe slightly at her use of his full last name, "must know what happens when people are in a long standing relationship."

She saw Ernie blush at her words and perhaps he was as confused as she was as to what Lena was referring to.

"Lena you know I love you," Ernie said before quickly adding at a quirk of Lena's head, "As a sister."

Hermione saw Lena take a step backwards and further away from him at his words.

"I was talking about you and Andrea, your girlfriend and future -"

"She is not my future anything!" Ernie shouted back at her and his voice echoed throughout the room, "I wish I could tell you, explain to you what our relationship is like -"

"There is no need," Lena said dropping her arms to her sides now, "Andrea has told me."

A look passed between them.

"And what did she say exactly?" he replied a steely edge to his words.

Silence.

Another long look between them. She was getting good at reading Lena's movements but this was over her head. It seemed as though in a few seconds they had expressed more than they had said during the whole argument because the next moment Ernie leapt up the stairs and closed the gap between them.

"That is a lie!" he said through clenched teeth, "And you..."

He literally pulled at his hair as he stepped away from her as he made an exasperated and frustrated noise.

"...Merlin's beard Lena, you aggravate me like no else."

"Are you quite done?"

Ernie shoulders slumped as he looked at Lena.

"I'm - "

But Lena didn't allow him to finish because she turned and walked the rest of the distance up the stairs and disappeared above them.

"I'm sorry!" Ernie shouted after her as he paced the step he stood on before running after her and she heard a "LENA!" shouted a few moments later.

Considering it safe to move out of her hiding place behind the column she stepped out of the shadows and stared at the house around her.

**_'Well that was - eventful.'_**

**_

* * *

_**

Hermione walked through the house because she really did not want to run the risk of walking into them arguing anymore.

She found Lena in her room staring out the window a few hours later.

"Is Ernie..."

"He left some time ago," Lena explained.

Hermione noticed something clenched in her fist and realised it was a small blue box with green ribbon tied to it.

"What's that?" she wondered aloud not realising she had spoken till Lena looked over at her.

"Chocolate," Lena said looking down at the box.

"You like sweets then?" Hermione questioned moving to stand near her beside the window.

There was a long drawn out silence before Lena replied.

"No, I get sick if I eat chocolate and most sweets."

"Then why does he...I mean," Hermione amended looking at Lena, "He does know that you can't eat them right?"

"It may surprise you Granger," Hermione jolted when Lena addressed her by name, she had never called her by her name, last or first the entire time they had been at her house. What's more there was nothing malicious in the way she had spoken Hermione's name but it seemed just a small step towards communicating with Hermione and it cause Hermione to stand up from the wall that she was leaning against, "But Milly does not know everything about me."

Hermione looked at Lena before turning out the window.

"Mione," she said a moment later not looking at Lena but continued to watch with her as the sun set, "You can call me 'Mione."

"What a silly name," Lena said in response, "Hermia, suits better."

Hermione simply laughed in response.

* * *

Hermione stared up at the staircases as they shuffled and moved around. Her eyes not even registering the students running around and walking past her. Didn't they see what she was? That there was staircases that moved.

She saw a few Ravenclaws passing notes and flipping through some textbooks as they conversed on one of the moving staircases as they made their way to class.

Her eyes moved to the portraits.

"No, no, no! That answer is completely wrong!" one of the portraits scolded a first year Gryffindor as he leant against the wall desperately trying to finish his homework before class began.

"Shove off!" the Gryffindor said in embarrassment, his face turning red as he pushed off the wall and walked past Hermione.

"Well, no need to be rude about it," the wizard said indignantly repositioning his fez hat as he reclined back into his seat.

Hermione laughed and caught Helena's attention.

Helena stood on the stairs in front of her expectantly.

Hermione dropped her head in embarrassment and grabbed Helena's suitcase before following Lena up the stairs and towards the Gryffindor common room.

It had only been a few weeks but felt like years since she was back here. Here heart did flip flops in her chest with every step she took up to the Gryffindor tower.

How would she even react when she saw Ron again? How would he react?

When they finally did reach the common room Hermione was half relief half dissappointment as she realised that all the students were still in class.

Helena wasn't even waiting for her, so Hermione quickened her step as they made their way past the stairs that led to the boys dormintory and towards the girls dormitory.

She realised that she had never been there before - or had she.

**_'Stop that, no second guessing, just be yourself, whatever that meant.'_**

_Lena stopped and pushed open one of the doors._

Hermione stepped inside the single room and felt something wash over her. It took her a moment but she came crashing back when the sound of a suitcase closing caught her attention.

"Let me do that," Hermione said instantly rushing over to where Lena stood at the end of the large bed trying to find something in her suitcase.

She was leaning over the suitcase lifting pieces of clothing out haphazardly.

"What are you looking for?" Hermione questioned moving her hands towards the suitcase.

When Lena stood up straight to look at Hermione she wondered if she had done something wrong.

"I can find it myself," Lena said, and Hermione knew it was the truth, she had survived pretty much her whole life without any maids or servants other than a house elf so it hardly surprised Hermione that she seemed offended that Hermione was offering her help.

'**_Wait_**,' Hermione stopped to think, '**_Was Lena offended?_**'

She certainty didn't show any outwards signs of it and yet something in the air, in her presence suggested it.

Was she getting as good as Ernie at understanding Lena?

"Would you get new sheets for the bed?" Lena told Hermione, "I would do it myself but I don't know my way around the servants quarters."

"Oh right, sure," Hermione had an inkling that Lena just wanted to be left on her own to find whatever it was she was searching for but Hermione obliged and left the room. She made her way down the stairs and brushed some hair out of her face. She was finally back at Hogwarts and she was going to do her best to start over. Pretend like nothing had change - okay that was impossible, lets just say she was going to do her best to - well her best.

She came to a stop just before the last step of the stairs when a group of boys tumbled into the common room. And leading the pack was Ron and Harry.

"Hermione! You're back!" Ginny pushed past the boys and ran across the room to hug Hermione.

It shocked her on several levels before she realised that everyone in the room was also in the D.A.

When Ginny pulled back she gave Hermione a reassuring smile as though to communicate to her that every was okay. Harry was next and he gave her a few extra pats on the backs.

"We can't wait to hear about what you've learnt," he said earning an eye-roll from Ginny.

But Hermione barely heard what Harry had said because here eyes were on Ron. He was standing a few metres behind Harry, one hand on a broom and the other shoved into his trouser pocket. His hair was tosseled and windswept, the grass stains and scracthes on his face and arms were evidence of a recent quidditch practice. Her eyes trailed all over his body, drinking him in as though she had never seen him before in her life. He moved the hand that was shoved in his pocket to the back of his head to scrath at it in embarrasement and she realised firslty that his sleeves were rolled up and his fit forearms were clearly in view and seconldy that she was embarrasing him with her stare. She checked to make sure that she wasn't gaping at him

"H-hey," he said coughing to clear his throat before stepping towards her.

"Hi," she said shyly. She wanted to say something more like 'How are you doing?' 'Are you alright?' but to ask him about his stay at St Mungo's just didn't seem right, it would be like dousing everyone in cold water when they were all smiles and happily patting each other on the back as thought they had just won the house cup.

He took another tenative step towares her and she thought he was about to hug her like the other two but then footsteps were heard behind her and Lena stepped up towards her. Lena looked from Hermione to Ron but didn't even stop before walking out of the common room.

"Friendly as ever," Ginny said under ber breath.

Harry however was looking at Hermione excitedly, "Now, lets go to my room and you can tell us everything you've learnt."

"There's no need," Hermione said feeling herself deflating, "I didn't learn anything of importance."

'Well, that's not entirely true, Lena's mother is sick, they're hiding out from her father, who is a drunk and gambler as well as a death eater supporter amoung other things - oh yes and apparently Lena is related to the guy she is in love with, who may or may not know that they are brother and sister'

"Look," Hermione said when she saw the confused faces around her, "I'll fill you in later but right now I need to talk to Lena."

"Lena," she heard Ginny say in confusion as she walked towards the door but not before she squeezed Ron's arm and gave him a meaningful look, "I've missed you."

She spared them all another apologetic look before following Lena down the stairs. It was only when she had reached Lena did she realise that as a a servant she shouldn't be using the main staircase, but despite the strange looks a few students were giving her the fact that she was with Lena appeared to satisfy them enough to let her pass without a word.

"You don't have to follow me," Lena said when they had to wait as the stairs moved into place.

"I wanted to talk to you though," Hermione explained jumping across the small gap in the staircase as they continued down the staircase into the Great Hall.

They crossed the Great Hall in silence, Lena turned sharply and Hermione followed her as they made their way down the staircase that led down to the Lake.

"You're avoiding him," Lena said as she quickened her pace down the stairs.

"No, I'm not," Hermione coughed and said "I am not," in a lower voice when a few passerbyers stared at her.

They had just reached the pier when Hermione almost walked straight into Lena. She looked up to see what had caused her to stop so suddenly.

Ernie and his girlfriend were holding hands and laughing as they walked towards them. It took a moment but Ernie finally noticed them. He paled instantly.

His girlfriend didn't notice though but she did give Helena a glare before pulling Ernie along with her. They both walked past her and Hermione caught Ernie's glance back at them. Lena was looking straight ahead and by the time Hermione had turned around again lena was walking to the edge of the pier.

"Are you okay?" Hermione questioned her softly moving to stand near her.

Lena didn't reply but continued to stare out across the lake. Hermione heard Lena take a shaky breath and Hermione took a step away from the girl. She wanted to say something to make her feel better but didn't know and with Lena sometimes silence was the best thing you could give her.

She had reached the first step before stopping and turning around and sitting down on the step rather than trudging her way up them again. She wasn't really watching Lena, just needed to be outside for a while before going back inside and seeing them all again. After so long away from them all she found it a bit stifling to be the focus of their attention. She noticed Lena from the corner of her eye moving.

Lena had slipped off her shoes and socks and sat down on the pier, dipping her toes into the water.

Hermione turned her attention to the far off scenery, leaning her chin on her palm as she listened to the water lapping against the rocks and pier.

She started when someones arms surrounded her. She felt their breath on her face and she spun around to see who it was but saw no one behind her at all. She stared at confusion at the empty space around her and shook her head.

_'Crazy, too much time cooped up in that house no doubt.'_

_**She leaned her head against the stone beside her and took a deep breath.**_

_**She didn't really know how long they both stayed there out on the pier but she did feel herself getting more and more drowsy as her eyelids became heavier and heavier.**_

_**She lifted her hands up to hold the strong arms firmly around her body.**_

_**"I wish we could stay here forever," she said dreamily, "grow old together, pretend the outside world isn't so messed up as it is."**_

_**"Whatever makes you happy, Mione."**_

She looked up and expected to find Ron looking down at her indulgently or perhaps with that typical Weasley smile which gave him away when he was joking or sarcastic with her. But instead she found only the darkening sky above her.

Hermione stood up in shock and found Lena looking over her shoulder at Hermione.

"Do you make a habit of talking to yourself?"

Hermione blushed at Lena's words.

"Sorry," she said in embarrassment, "I was day dreaming."

**_'Or remembering.'_**

_Lena turned back away from her._

"We should go back now, its getting pretty close to dinner time."

She wasn't sure if Lena heard her or was just ignoring her so she finally decided to walk back up the steps.

She was halfway up the stairs when she noticed someone standing near the top looking down at Lena.

"She insists on infuriating me," Ernie said when Hermione finally reached the top of the stairs. "She's still angry at me."

Hermione didn't know what he was talking about but dared a guess at Lena's current thought process.

"She has a lot on her mind, you know," she said with a ghost of a smile, "Not everything has to be about you."

Ernie glowered at her, the first that she had really seen on his face.

"Don't pretend to know her like I do," he said, a hint of something in his voice almost like jealousy. She wanted to laugh at him at how ridiculous he was being but instead she said,

"Fine, suit yourself."

She heard Ernie sigh.

"Merlin, why must she do that, just sit there?"

Like so many things concerning the couple Hermione was completely confused.

"I have no idea, but then again, she does that a lot, just drift off into her own world."

Ernie appeared to ignore her.

"You know if you love her why the hell are you with that other girl?"

Ernie groaned as though just the thought of his girlfriend pained him.

"Lena doesn't love me like that, she only sees me as a childhood friend, like a brother."

Hermione eyes widened at those specifc words.

"Are you?"

Ernie turned to look at her expectantly as though expecting her to continue her sentence, when she didn't do anything other than stare at him he said.

"Am I, what?"

"Um... "

At Ernie's quirked eyebrow she stopped and just shrugged.

"Oh, never mind, I've got enough drama to deal with on my own without meddling in everyone else's."

Ernie just turned away from her while twisting his wand between his fingers.

Hermione released a sigh before walking back into Hogwarts.

She would have screamed when someone grabbed her arm and pulled into the shadows of Great Hall. She was pulled backwards behind a large statue of a Hog.

"Shhh," the familar voice said from behind her.

**_She titled her head to look up at Ron's face._**

**_Hermione was reading through a newspaper article and reached for her tea. Her movements stilled when too firm arms moved to trap her against the breakfast counter. Ron was standing behind her, both of his arms on either side of her as he leant forward and spoke into her ear as though he didn't know exactly what he was doing to her by being this close._**

**_"Anything interesting in the paper?"_**

Ron had released her by this point and Hermione shivered as the memory ghosted through her mind.

"You alright?" Ron questioned her when she felt herself grow faint.

"Fine," she said turning around to look at him properly.

Merlin, it felt an age since she'd seen him last and yet he looked just the same. How was that even possible? Wasn't he in St Mungo's this whole time?

Ron gave her a curious look and quirked one eyebrow at her.

"Taking lessons from Helena about uncomfortable silences?" he joked though he stepped into the shadows when the heard footsteps approach them.

Hermione smiled at him trying to convey just how totally okay she was to be around him. She must have convinced him as much as she did herself because he leant against the wall and looked at her in exasperation.

"Well, are you going to tell me or not?"

Hermione started at his words, for a second she thought she had been the one who had spoken.

"About what?" she wondered

"What else? what happened at Helena's?"

Hermione shrugged.

"Nothing, she took care of her mother. The first week there I didn't do anything other than laze around the house."

Hermione stretched, standing on her tip toes and stretching her arms up into the air, just the thought of her first week at Helena's made her feel incredibly lazy.

She caught Ron stare at he midrift however and she quickly stood back properly on the ground.

"Do you think she's a spy?"

"I don't think so, but then again most of the things I learnt about her I heard from Ernie."

This got Ron's attention cause he suddenly drew back from her.

"And what did he tell you?" he looked at her uncertainly.

"That he and Lena are childhood friends and pretty close to each other," it was only after she had answered his question did she catch the true meaning behind his question.

A brief silence fell on them and they both smiled awkwardly at each other before looking away.

"How are you?" she blurted out suddenly.

Ron shifted in his spot against the wall and his arms came up to fold across his chest.

"Fine."

"What's been going on - at Hogwarts," she amended quickly before continuing, "since I've been gone."

She didn't know whether it was the words she choose but she saw Ron cringe slightly. But rather than dancing around eggshells she felt a bubbling of rage rise within her. She couldn't explain the feeling at all. Surely she should be doing her best to comfort and assure Ron that she wasn't going anywhere but for some reason all she could think or felt like doing was to slap him upside the head and stomp away.

"Odd."

"What is?" Ron quesitoned her.

She realised too late that she had spoken that out loud.

Lie or truth. Again the question before here. She gave in to exhaustion and leaned towards truth.

"I had a strange urge," at that particular word she saw Ron's mouth twitch but she continued quickly before he got the wrong idea, "to hit you."

This stopped him short. But rather than get upset at her like she thought he would his face broke into a blinding smile.

Merlin help me.

She felt her heart skip a beat then and the thought of hitting him served another purpose now, to allow her to escape that gorgeous smile.

So what was a girl supposed to do?

***STOMP***

"Ow! Bleedin' hell!" Ron screamed before jumping up and down on the leg that she hadn't just stomped down on.

She took the chance to run past him and down the staircase that lead to the kitchens. She took a deep breath before pushing open the kitchen door.

In her distraction she had barrelled straight into someone.

Firm hands held her before pushing her aside.

"Sorry," she said as the person walked past her only giving her a disdainful look as he passed.

"Jerk..." she said to herself as she watched the dark haired boy walk away from her.

He had on a white collar shirt, black trousers and a hufflepuff apron tied around his waist. He was balancing a tray of tea and biscuits in one hand before pushing open the door that lead to the servants staircase.

"Hermione, that bloody hurt Hermione!" Ron said his angry face quickly appearing before her. She gasped and jumped into the kitchen before bolting the door.

* * *

She wasn't entirely sure how long she was hiding in the kitchens but she took the opportunity to have her dinner before making her way back up the servants stairway to the common room.

She found Lena preparing for dinner. She was standing by the bed looking at something on it. She must have noticed Hermione's entrance because she said without turning.

"I hope you don't mind the colour."

Hermione had moved to stand near her and saw the maid outfit on the bed.

"I already -" she began to say but then realised how much this meant coming from Lena, "thank you."

She finished and looked over at Lena with a smile.

Lena nodded her head before straightening her own Slytherin tie before turning and walking out of the room, presumably to give Hermione time to change.

Hermione looked at the emerald green jacket and skirt. She quickly changed into the skirt but as Lena suspected she kept her Gryffindor jacket. She just couldn't bring herself to wear the Slythering emblem. She was a Gryffindor through and through.

Lena however wasn't standing outside the door waiting for her and Hermione didn't mind it. She knew now that Lena simply didn't do things like that, she had been alone for so long that she wasn't used to doing things that would be considered as natural or common by other people.

She did however find Lena standing near the Grand staircase that led down to the Great Hall. She was standing in the shadows of a column her fingers on the sandstone column as though if her full pressure on the stone would cause it to topple. She was leaning standing staring down at something. It wasn't really a surprise to Hermione to see that it was Ernie she was looking at. He was standing leaning against statue of a large hog, talking to his friends.

"He doesn't know does he," Hermione said placing her hands on the balustrade. She had suspected it earlier when Ernie didn't seem to know what she was talking about when she asked if he was Lena's brother.

Hermione waited the few moments as was typical before Lena responded to questions.

Lena didn't move her gaze away from Ernie's face as he and his friends walked into the Great Hall.

"I have always been a selfish being, in practice though not in principle."

Hermione raised a surprised eyebrow at Lena.

"Austen?" it wasn't really a question but she was surprised Lena had read muggle fiction.

"She wasn't a muggle," Lena replied looking over her shoulder at Hermione once Ernie's figure had dissapeared. "All the great writers have a bit of magic in them."

Hermione found herself smiling at that thought before her attention was caught by the sight of Ron, Harry and a few other Gryfffindors coming in through the large wooden doors and walk across the entrance hall.

"What did you mean about being selfish?" Hermione questioned Lena.

"I could never hurt him," Lena replied before adding when Hermione simply looked at her, "I know what people think of me, and I could never hurt him by allowing people to say similar things about him simply because of his relationship with me."

"You don't think they say those things now?" Hermione questioned her standing up fully to look at Lena.

"Milly is such kind hearted person, people flock to him naturally because he is so warm..."

Hermione watched Lena but as usual her blank face gave nothing away. Though from her words alone you could tell how much she cared for Ernie.

"I am jealous of him sometimes," Lena said after another long pause, "he makes it look so easy to be around people."

"It's not hard," Hermione comforted, "you should just practice, with me if you like."

Lena gave a slight movement of her shoulders.

"It's exhausting being around you," Lena explained taking a deep breath, "I have to explain everything to you but with Milly he knows me - my thoughts without me having to speak them."

She turned to Hermione with a slight quirk in her lips as she spoke.

"He does spoil me."

Without another word she moved back from the column and walked down to the Great hall and away from Hermione. Hermione watched her progress and thought about her own relationship with Ron. What exactly defined them. How was it different to that she had with others.

She had felt it in those dreams, memories and hallucinations she had been having, she didn't think any of them were one hundred percent accurate, there was a mix of her fantasy, dreams and memories in those things she remembered.

How did she know that?

She wasn't entirely sure but she supposed it must be instinct.

"I need to trust that more," she said to herself before walking down to the Great Hall.

* * *

She stood behind one of the open doors and looked in on the students eating dinner, her eyes fell on Ron.

She had to do something, and though he would probably think her mental for doing it she kinda suspected that it was exactly what she and he both needed.

Ron walked into the darkenend room and trudging across to his bed. The other guys were still downstairs with Harry but he was exhausted after he quidditch practice and with everything on his mind he just needed sleep. He shocked then when just a few steps into the room he was hit in the face.

It hadn't hurt, just the shock to have been hit in the face with a pillow, a pillow currenlty being held by an angry looking Hermione was what had shocked him.

She threw the pillow at him before grabbing another off the floor and moving to hit him once more with the fluffy weapon.

"Wha - Mione' what are you - Hey!" She was completely ignoring him and continued hitting him with the pillow.

"You stupid, git Ronald Weasley!" she shouted at him.

"What? what did I do?" he said feeling a strange feeling rise from within him.

She didn't reply but continued to hit him.

When he opened his mouth to speak once more only to be soundly hit across the face with the pillow he blew the feathers out of his mouth before glaring at Hermione.

"HAVE YOU GONE COMPLETELY MENTAL!" he shouted at her, was that a trick of the light or did she just smirk at him.

Instead of replying she threw the pillow at him again before collecting another from the nearest bed.

"Hermione!" he said making his way across the room before she could even lift the pillow off the bed.

She stomped on his foot and he cried out in pain.

"You blockhead Weasley," she said when he staggered back to his own bed.

He felt the corner of his eye tick in annnoyance.

"Excuse me if I'm not as smart as you -"

Hermione cut him off.

"You'd like to think so wouldn't you," leaving him confused as to whether she was complementing or insulting him, "You are the smartest boy I know, maybe not the same way as I am but then again how dull that would be."

She looked at him furiously.

He had no idea where this crazy attack had come from but he wouldn't put up with her accusing him just because she had finally lost her marbles.

"If you are quite done being completely mental, would you explain to me - "

"You would like that wouldn't you, act all innocent why don't you."

He didn't know what happened. One moment he was sitting on the bed, annoyed - angry as hell really and then he felt something snap within him and he threw the pillow on his own bed at her.

It hit Hermione straight on the face and caused her to blink a few times before focusing on him once more.

"Has all this time away from Hogwarts caused you to lose it? or maybe you and Ernie need more time alone to comfort you."

She opened her mouth as though to question him but he simply plowed on.

"Oh yeah, I know all about it, your going to his house and him disappearing in the middle of the night to come to see you."

Her eyes widened at his accusation and implication.

"You - You - " she couldn't find words to show how she felt so she did the next best thing.

She ran towards him and he was certain she was going to curse him or punch him.

The breath in his lungs escaped him when she tackled him on the bed.

"What! You're going to hit me now? I liked it better when you threw those vegetables at me in the kitchen."

The memory of Ron running away from her as she furiously threw cooked vegetables at him caused a fit of giggles to erupt from Hermione.

It took him a moment but he realised that this whole time she wasn't hitting him but holding him - hugging him.

"I'm confused," he said slowly sitting up and she moved to sit beside him on the bed.

She pushed him back onto the bed before stomping across the room.

"I still can't forgive you for kissing her!" Hermione said in response.

"Wha -"

He felt his breathing quicken as his cheeks heated up.

"What the bleedin' hell are you accussing me now, crazy woman!"

"Crazy?" she said in indignation picking up a nearby towel before scrunching it up in her hands and hurling it at him, "Yes I must be for falling in lov - mmph!"

Ron was kissing her. She had seen him sidestep the towel before grabbing her by the hands and pulling her towards him. She tripped but he caught her by the waist and pressed her to his body. She gasped and his tongue was in her mouth before she knew what was happening.

Just as quickly as it happened it ended. Hermione was still in a daze but could see clearly enough through the haze to know that Ron was looking down at her, a confused expression on his face. Still confused as to why she suddenly picked a fight on him perhaps?

But no, his expression was searching, his eyes bored into hers deeply as though he were trying to sift through her thoughts, her mind to find something inside her. But what she didn't know.

"What's wrong?" she said finally when the haze had slowly dissapeared.

He released her and took a step back.

"When I kissed you..." he trailed off and he looked away from her, his the back of his hand covering his mouth.

Was he regretting kissing her?

Maybe he realised what she was thinking or perhaps noticed her tense up because he turned to look at her and she moved before he could stop her. She stepped forwards and grabbed his tie, gripping it she pulled it forwards and down, when his face was within reach she pressed her lips to his.

He didn't move for a moment but soon enough his lips moved against hers and he pulled her body close to him once more.

**_'Oh yes,'_** she told herself, 'this is what was missing from their relationship, the passion, the hot uncontrollable passion and rage that set them apart from anyone or anything she knew in her life.

She laced her fingers through his hair before tugging on it and pulling him closer towards her.

She felt herself being pushed back and she felt the soft bed beneath her a few moments later. Ron sat up to look at her, confusion and hunger in his eyes.

She smiled up at him.

"I've missed you so much," the words were out of her mouth before she realised it and wasn't entirely sure where it was coming from. He leaned down as though to kiss her again and she didn't want to stop him but she needed to do this. She grabbed his hand, which was at her side and placed it on her chest. His eyes widened but he soon realised what she was doing. He could feel the little heartbeat racing against her ribcage.

He layed his head down and placed his ear on her chest to listen to its rhythm.

"This is yours," she said hoping he understood.

He looked up at her, putting his chin on her stomach and causing her to blush at the look in his eyes.

"My heart," she said when he grinned at her and she realised he didn't understand her meaning at all or was just teasing her.

She grabbed the pillow behind her and hit him soundly.

She heard him laugh before pushing the pillow out of the way.

She reached up and -

"Ron, come quic - "

Hermione turned to find Harry and half the DA stood in the door of the room staring open mouthed at them.

Hermione felt herself go completely red, in fact she was pretty sure she would transfigure into a tomato at any moment. She pushed Ron away and was already out the door when she ran straight into someone. She shrieked and held up her hands to protect herself.

After a few seconds she realised that she was fine, and - when she opened her eyes there was no one in front of her.

"Hermione, are you alright?" Ginny said from beside her, Hermione felt Ginny place a hand on her shoulder and only then did she realise she was shaking. She felt the blood drain from her face.

"F-fine," she said shakily before taking a step away from Ginny, her eyes never leaving that spot in front of her where she had seen...

She gulped and finally looked up, realising that someone had called her name. Ron was standing in the doorway, looking at her in concern and something else, something in his eyes she couldn't read.

"Sorry, I thought - I just..." she trailed off and pulled at her collar before continuing, "I just need some air."

She turned and walked down the hall and hurriedly down the servants staircase.

'What the hell was that?' she questioned herself, replaying the scene in her head, she didn't want to believe it but it had happened. And there had been other people around this time so it wasn't just in her head then.

She screamed when someone stepped up behind her.

Lena blinked back at her.

"Hello, I need you to get me something," Lena said continuing as though Hermione hadn't just screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Wh-what are you...What do you need?" she said quickly trying to clamp down on her panic.

"What happened?" Lena said after a long pause in which time Hermione caught her breath and calmed down somewhat.

"I thought I saw...just now when I was going out the door...it was..."

"Let's go," Lena said in response to her rambling and Hermione followed her blindly still in a daze.

It was only when she sat down on the bed and Lena closed the door did Hermione realise that they were in Lena's private room. It was odd, the room looked like it had been cut out of the slytherin dorms and stuck inside the tower, since all the Slytherin colours and furnishings were still there. It was odd but not entirely as freaky as she thought it would be but then again, Lena seemed to have odd little touches of Hufflepuff colour here and there, an odd scarf hanging off a chair or some strange potted plants with labels such as 'from Prof. Sprout' and 'from A', 'from -'

Hermione wondered what the blank in that last label was from but her attention was drawn to Lena when she placed a cup and saucer in Hermione's hands. Hermione looked down and realised it was tea. Lena pulled up a leather chair so that she was facing Hermione but didn't speak. Just sat in the chair sipping her -

"What is this?" Hermione wondered aloud bringing the cup to her nose to sniff it.

"Tea," Lena replied taking another sip before continuing, "Milly says that tea relaxes people. You seemed to need relaxing."

Hermione gave a nervous laugh before sipping on the tea. She almost spat it back out again.

"It's really strong," she said coughing slightly.

"I don't usually drink tea," Lena explained, "Milly prepares the tea whenever - he visits..."

That pause caused Hermione to look up from her lap. Lena had placed the cup and saucer on the floor and was now pulling the thread on the hufflepuff scarf drapped on the back of the chair which fell down at the arms of the chair.

"Did you and Ernie have another fight?" Hermione questioned placing her cup on the bedside table and pulling her legs up to sit cross legged on the bed.

Lena looked at Hermione.

"Another?"

"Well, that day on the staircase..."she trailed off embarrassed when she realised she had just revealed she had eavesdropped on them.

"We were not fighting," Lena said simply before clarifying, "We had a misunderstanding."

"Okay," she said slowly, looking at Lena curiously, "About what exactly."

"His - Andrea," Lena said turning her face away and dropping the scarf she had been playing with.

"You don't like her."

Lena turned and cocked her head to one side.

"I do not dislike her."

"But you love Ernie."

Lena simply replied with a nod.

"And she's dating him."

Again a nod.

"And you don't, not even a tiny bit dislike her?"

"No."

"It's okay to be jealous you know, its human," Hermione said in what she hoped was a comforting voice.

"I don't dislike her, I am grateful to her."

"Grateful?" Hermione said in disbelief.

Lena leaned back against the chair and closed her eyes.

"He is with her," Lena said softly, "the possibility that he could be with me is not there."

Lena opened her eyes to look at Hermione.

"It keeps me from hoping for something that will never happen."

"But he loves you," Hermione said in disbelief.

"As a brother would a sister."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because he said so."

That stopped Hermione short.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh," Hermione replied lamely, "Sorry."

"What for?"

"I - well...its just what people say," when Lena continued to stare at her, Hermione continued, "I guess, I'm sorry he doesn't feel the same about you as you do about him and also sorry that I brought it up."

"I don't mind talking," Lena said in response which took Hermione a while to recover from.

"No, I guess you dont," Hermione realised, 'It's that she doesn't know how to talk to people and maybe she gives off a strange aura.

"You know what," Hermione got up off the bed and walked over to Lena, "I'm going to help you talk to more people."

Lena lifted her head to look at Hermione.

"You just need practice, is all," Hermione added smiling at Lena.

"Alright," Lena consented after a moments thought, "Can I practice with Longbottom."

"Neville?" Hermione said genuinely surprised, "I suppose, but why Neville."

"He seems interesting."

Hermione took that comment, the only way you could with Lena, she had after all confessed her ability to observe people without them knowing so perhaps she knew something about Neville that no one else did. Perhaps she had an interest in herbology, if those plants on the window sill were any indication.

"Do you want to start now?" Hermione asked Lena.

"Don't you want to tell me why you screamed at me before."

Hermione stopped just as she had turned to walk to the door. She had completley forgotten about what had happened with Ron. And that realisation left a sickening feeling in her stomach. She grabbed her head and stomach simultaneously.

"Merlin, I'm an idiot! I did it again!"

Hermione stepped back till she reached the bed and sat down.

"I ran out, just left him to face everyone's questions and - " Hermione felt her body tense and she felt her breathing become erratic, she felt Lena sit beside her and that stillness, what she had thought was eerie silence and calmness surrouding Lena pulled Hermione out of her panic. Like she had been lifted out of the ocean, she could breath again and she looked at Lena in shock.

She hadn't done anything but sit next to Hermione but her presence was enough to calm her. Or was it magic? Hermione wondered, some sort of healer spell she had learnt to keep her mother calm.

"Tell me more," Hermione said after a few deep breathes.

Lena looked at her and Hermione thought she saw a quirk of an eyebrow.

"Tell me more?" Lena repeated.

Hermione nodded.

"Whenever someone says something you don't understand just say 'Tell me more'."

"But I know what's happened," Lena said in response, "I don't need you to explain to me."

"Yes," Hermione said patiently, "But sometimes people like to talk through their problems with someone else. You've already got the listener part down, now you just need to learn how to communicate to people so that they will feel comfortable opening up to you."

"I suppose you are right, Ernie does get frustrated with me sometimes because I don't vocalise my thoughts. It seemed strange to me before, why should I vocalise what I'm thinking when he already knows."

"It's good to say things out loud, sometimes even if people aren't around."

"Milly told me not to do that, said people would think I'm 'a - head - case'."

Hermione couldn't help her laugh at that.

"Yeah, maybe not a good idea to talk to yourself when there are other people around," Hermione smiled, "I'm guilty of that and the looks you get are more than embarrassing."

Lena nodded her head at Hermione in understanding.

"Tell me more," Lena said.

Hermione smiled before sighing.

"We kissed."

"And he was bad at it," Lena said when there was a long pause from Hermione.

"What? No, he wasn't - no I mean..." Hermione sighed and pulled at her collar, "We kissed, were in the middle of kissing when everyone walked in on us."

"Embarrasing."

"Yeah," Hermione agreed

"Tell me more."

Hermione chucked and glanced at Lena, her face was still emotionless but she knew that there had be emotion underneath that calm fascade.

"I was running out of the room when -" She felt herself shiver, as though the temperature of the room had slipped down several degrees.

"I saw..." Hermione took a deep breath before continuing, "I saw - Hermione."

Lena didn't say anything and neither did Hermione. She honestly didn't know what to make of it herself so she didn't know what anyone else would think.

"Which Hermione?" Lena said finally.

Hermione turned to look at her so quickly that she hurt her neck, while she rubbed on her neck she stared at Lena in complete shock.

"What do you mean?"

"Which Hermione," Lena repeated, "I noticed ever since the beginning of this school year you were different."

This was interesting, everyone around her had been insisting that she was the same and yet Lena had just stated in her usual matter of fact tone that she was not like the other Hermione.

Hermione nodded her head.

"How are we different?" she questioned Lena.

"Little things," Lena said taking a moment to remember perhaps, "you're more self concious now, as though you're afraid of everything."

"The other Hermione wasn't afraid?"

"Afraid of different things to you perhaps," Lena continued, "You seem afraid of people around you, she was afraid of something else, something bigger, greater, something out there."

Hermione swallowed and considered asking the one question she had been thinking about asking someone since she had started recovering her memories.

"And how was she with Ron?"

"She loved him."

Hermione frowned at Lena.

"I - I care about him too."

Lena turned to look at Hermione, watching her for a few seconds before speaking.

"Yes, but she was _**in**_ love with him, had been for many years before she herself seemed to realise it."

Hermione felt those words stab at her.

'Was that true? Was she just playing along with everyone's expectations? She couldn't deny that she cared about Ron, deeply but that feeling she had for him...she wasn't sure if she could distinguish it from how she felt about Ginny, Harry or anyone else she had started to remember. She felt a tightness in her chest.

"That's not to say you can't fall in love with him too," Lena cut into Hermione's thoughts, "Or that you can't make him fall in love with you, the Hermione you are now."

Hermione looked away from Lena and stared at the door, just to have something to do.

She sighed before resting her head on her knees which she had brought up in front of her on the bed.

"Oh I see," Lena said suddenly causing Hermione to turn her head to look at her.

"What do you see?" Hermione said curiously.

Lena looked at her, her eyes seeming to soften slightly.

"Hermia, if you don't know then I shouldn't tell you."

Hermione blew a piece of curly hair out of her face and stood up off the bed. She streached and walked over to look at the potted plants.

A knock at the door stilled her progress.

Hermione looked at Lena.

"Helena, is Hermione in there?" Ginny's voice said from the other side of the door.

Hermione walked over and opened the door to let the redhead in. Ginny gave Hermione a confused look before stepping inside the room, and allowing Hermione to close the door behind her.

"So, what are we talking about?" Ginny questioned.

"What do you mean?" Hermione replied.

"I saw you two walk up the stairs, so come on out with it, what's going on?"

Hermione looked at Lena wondering if she really wanted to continue the conversation they had been having.

"I - uh...I was helping Lena with her communciation skills, so she can befriend some Gryffindors."

Ginny gave Hermione a 'you're not serious' look before quickly adjusting her expression.

"Alright," Ginny said slowly turning to look at Lena and waving awkwardly, "Hey."

"Hello."

"Great!" Hermione said, "You two continue with that and I'll be right back."

"Where are you going," Ginny grabbed her arm and said in a low whisper.

"Just need to talk to Ron about something."

Ginny slowly released her arm and gave a defeated look as Hermione stepped out the room.

She found Harry sitting in the common room, she approached him slowly and cautiously.

"Is Ron around?" she said when she had stopped in front of him.

"Upstairs," Harry said not even looking up from the book in his lap.

She knocked twice before opening the door.

Ron had his back to her. He was leaning against the window sill and looking outside.

The door clicked shut and Hermione stepped over to stand a few steps behind him.

"Ron?"

She saw his body tense before he turned to look at her.

"Hey."

"Are you - I mean..." she gulped before trying again, "Sorry about before."

"What happened?" he questioned her but he turned back to look outside once more.

"I was embarrassed, they all were staring at us -"

"Not that," he cut her off, "When you ran out you stopped suddenly and looked like you had seen a ghost or something."

Hermione took a shaky breath, she really didn't want to talk about this. But after a moment she realised she didn't have a choice.

"I saw her."

Again the tension returned to his body.

Hermione recalled the moment in her mind.

**_Hermione turned to find Harry and half the DA stood in the door of the room staring open mouthed at them._**

**_Hermione felt herself go completely red, in fact she was pretty sure she would transfigure into a tomato at any moment. She pushed Ron away and was already out the door when -_**

**_Hermione stood in front of her, arms outstrectched at her sides as though to stop Hermione moving any further and then she spoke. _**

**_"STOP!" the Hermione in front of her had said and there was anger in her voice. _**

**_But too late, she was going to run straight into - She shrieked and held up her hands to protect herself._**

**_Nothing happened. _**

"I saw Hermione," she said nervously before adding, "My head must have been playing tricks on me."

"Yeah," Ron agreed, still not looking at her, "Hey look, you missed some stuff when you left."

She raised her eyes to look at Ron. No tension. She would have thought that words like 'left' and 'run away' would have some affect on him, it had had an affect on him in the past but not now, why? What had happened.

"Oh, alright, what happened?"

"Umbridge is taking students up to her office and interrogating them," Ron explained, "We have to be more careful about going to D.A. meetings."

Hermione nodded her head in understanding.

"When's the next meeting?"

"Day after tomorrow," Ron replied.

"Okay, well..." she stepped back from him as she spoke, "I guess I'll just go now, maybe Lena wants something."

"Sure."

Hermione stared at him in confusion before walking out of the room and back to Lena's room.

"What was that?" she said aloud._ T__hat was so weird. Was he angry? No, he didn't see it...then what's wrong with him?_

Hermione pushed open the door to Lena's room to find Ginny and Lena deep in conversation. The scene shocked her.

"Hermione! You're back, come here quick, Lena and I just figured out how to get the other Gryffindors to open up to her."

"How?" Hermione said closing the door and walking over to the girls on the bed.

"She'll join the D.A."

* * *

**A/N: There are three drafts of this chapter, and I can tell you each one had a different ending and course of events. I'm happy with this one though, it does everything I want it to including developing a few crucial plot points! Sorry for the long wait but like I said, several drafts. Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement and I hope I continue to entertain you with my weird, confusing and hopefully unique story :D **


	25. Interlude 5

**A/N: Thank you everyone for your kind words and encouragement. I had actually finished writing two chapters and in the process of editing them when my computer crashed! T_T I had to restart from scratch...the good part is that I was able to organise my thoughts properly and can remember the important plot points I wanted/need to convey in the coming chapters. This isn't a chapter though, its another interlude but a very important one. I have no doubt there will be questions and confusion after this interlude but that is exactly the point, then again it may be pretty crystal clear to you all what exactly is going on here, if that is the case I hope it gets you excited for what's ahead!**

**Love, K**

* * *

Interlude 5 :The Shattered Pieces of...

"What is it?"

"I couldn't sleep," he said rubbing his eyes slightly before looking back at the fire.

She dropped her eyes to the floor before walking over to him.

"It's okay," she said trying to comfort him.

He looked up at her as though to convey to her just how 'not' okay this whole situation was.

"You want me to love her don't you?"

She stood just beyond his reach and watched him carefully.

"Do you?"

He smiled, a mirthless, and terrifying smile.

"I could never - will never love anyone the way I love...loved you."

She wanted to apologise for that, but apart of her was also glad, so instead she said,

"I miss you."

He didn't reply but looked away from her. She couldn't tell if he was laughing or crying.

"Can't you start over again with her? She is still me."

Useless words she knew, small comfort for how much she hurt him, this man she loved.

He turned towards her finally and fixed his eyes on her for the first time.

There was anger, and a strange emotion swirling within those blue depths.

"I will never love again."

She felt the coldness wrap around her, trapping her, and squeezing the air from her lungs, the life from her body. But she didn't have a body, not anymore, in this place, she didn't exist, she was just a figment of his imagination. And in her place stood the true form she had taken in his mind.

The dark figure shifted across the room towards him. She wanted to scream, to shout at him to see her, to see how much she loved him, loved him still despite of or rather because of everything. She wanted to reach through the void and pull that man she knew was within him to the surface.

It had been for a long time appeared to be no more than a losing battle but each day that passed she took that chance to see it as a new day, another chance to reach the man she loved. She would love him every moment that existed, for every moment she existed. She didn't know how to cut through that darkness that encased him. And the longer she existed she felt the hopelessness of the situation. She should return to where she belonged, where she could be of use to the final battle but another part of her, the better part of her knew that even if they won the battle she could never win him back, not if she gave up on him now.

But would he let her back in?

Would she be able to defeat this person inside. This shadow that hung all over him, like death that drank the life and love from him.

Not today. She felt the darkness surround him and as much as she wanted to she knew she still wasn't strong enough to cut through.

But someday, someday soon they would battle and the part of her that was filled with love for him would battle that part of him that hated her, hated everything.

And when that day came she would win.

She would bring her love back.

But for now, for today she would return to the protective corners of his mind where he still remembered and loved her.

She would cling to those places, keep them safe because without them she would become nothing, and the person she saw through his eyes would be the only proof that she once existed in that world.

She watched that black figure smile at her and she turned away.

"You'll never win," he spoke in that smoky, echoing voice that invaded her very core.

She didn't bother to reply. It would only seize it as a chance to cut her down, but she had made some progress today. She had been able for a short moment been able to project herself back into her own body, enough to stop her foolish body and other self running away.

Surely all her Gryffindor courage had not gone with her when she had left that body behind.

She didn't know but if her other self didn't get her act together, it would be the end for all of them.

She prayed to merlin that that girl would do her justice.

"Don't give up, not on him, not on yourself either, if we are to make it through this you have to learn why I love him so much. Why I would walk through hell itself to bring my love back from death."

Hermione wanted to glance back but knew that that was not Ron looking at her, no, it was a stranger. She had to find her Ron and bring him back with her to the world of the living.

Wait for me.

Wait for me my love.

My Ron.


	26. The way it feels

**Author Notes: Thank you everyone for your patience and encouragement, I have been busy this last year sorting out my real life situation but I think everything is back to normal now. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and if not (cause thats okay too) please feel free to share critiques and your opinions because despite what some may believe I don't hate it when you guys have constructive criticism to give. I have taken a lot of what you have said into account and I hope to return the focus more on our main couple while keeping my original story intact. **

**Happy Holidays! **

* * *

**Chapter 20 The way it feels **

Ginny stared at her.

Then without a word, the redhead pulled her out of the room and into the hallway outside. The heavy wooden door closed behind her and Ginny practically glared at her.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Well, I was thinking that Lena's really not that -"

"Bloody hell," the redhead cursed in a far too good impression of her brother, "Who the hell cares about Helena, I'm talking about you!"

Hermione blinked at her friend in confusion.

Silence passed and Ginny sighed in exasperation.

"You were snogging Ron remember?"

Hermione looked down at the floor.

"Yeah..yeah I remember."

"And?" Ginny prodded.

"And what?" Hermione said in response looking up at her friend, "We kissed, and then everyone walked in on us."

Ginny watched Hermione for a moment.

"Did you remember something?"

Hermione frowned and furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Did -did you see it too?"

"Well I wasn't there at the time, I was with Harry but apparently it was pretty embarrassing. I mean having my dad and half the order walk in on you guys doing it must have been -"

"Whoa! back up!" Hermione said lifting her hands into the air as though she could stop the movement of time with her words.

Ginny stepped back and grimaced.

"So - you didn't remember that..."

"No," Hermione said in response, "But now I can't get the image of out of my head...Ron and I actually...had...had...sex?"

The idea for some reason made her sick, not the kind of sick that you felt because you were disgusted with something but more like the gut wrenching sick of not being able to remember something so bloody important.

"So," Ginny said after an awkward silence, "Why did you run off like that then?"

Hermione looked at Ginny liked she'd gone mad.

"Are you kidding? Everyone walked in on us!"

Ginny shrugged her shoulders.

"And since when did you care about that?"

Hermione furrowed her brow.

"Since always, of course I will care what others think about me...doesn't everyone?"

Ginny just frowned at her in response.

Ginny opened her mouth as though to speak but was cut off by the sound of the door opening behind them.

They both turned to find Helena looking at them.

"I wish to speak to you," Lena said looking directly at Ginny.

Ginny raised an eyebrow at her.

"Uh..."

"Its important," Lena insisted holding the door open and standing aside to allow Ginny in.

Ginny looked from Lena to Hermione before walking into the room. Hermione moved to follow but Lena promptly shut the door in her face. Hermione blinked.

She threw up her arms in defeat and moved to sit on the floor.

Some time later the door opened once more and Lena walked out. She looked around before locating Hermione sitting on the floor.

"You can come inside now," Lena told her, and Hermione followed the girl back into the room.

She found Ginny sitting on the edge of the bed, her face pale and her expression unreadable.

"Are you alright?" she questioned her friend walking over to her.

Ginny stared at the floor for a moment but stood up from the bed when Hermione stepped up to her.

"Yeah fine," Ginny managed a weak smile before looking at Lena.

"Why should we let Lena join the D.A.?" Ginny asked turning to look at Hermione once more.

Hermione considered this for a moment.

"Well firstly it would stop those Slytherin girls bullying Lena, and secondly it would give us a heads up in case Umbridge or anyone else plans something against us."

"So she would be acting like a double agent?" Ginny said considering her words before turning her attention to Lena, "And do you even want to join us?"

"Do you know what that means?" Ginny clarified standing up from the bed and looking at Lena fully, "You're burning your bridges and if they found out there's no knowing what they will do to you."

"I will not betray Slytherin House," Lena said firmly.

Hermione felt disappointed, she was sure this would be the solution to everyone problems.

Ginny turned to look at Hermione.

"Well there you have it," she said looking disappointed but also vindicated in her objections.

"Hang on Gin," Hermione said slowly moving closer to Lena, "You don't have to betray your house, but would you pass on information about the D.A.?"

"I haven't before," Lena replied simply.

"Wait what?" Ginny said in shock, "Hermione how much have you told her?"

"I haven't - not yet...she already knew about it -"

"Milly told me," Lena interjected.

"Ernie McMillian," Hermione provided when Ginny looked at her in confusion.

"So have you been telling the Slytherin's about us this whole time?" Ginny looked at the be-speckled girl in shock.

"No," Lena answered quickly, "I would never do anything that would put Milly in danger."

Ginny looked doubtful but didn't say anything further, her face still showed her disapproval of the situation however.

"Okay," Hermione began slowly, "What if...what if I draw up an agreement, of what you will and will not do. For instance you promise not to tell anyone outside the D.A. what happens in the meetings and we won't force you to do anything to betray your house."

"However if you have information that would prevent anyone in the D.A. from being interrogated or being put in danger will you tell us?"

Lena seemed to consider this for a moment before nodding her head in agreement.

"Excuse us a moment," Ginny said before leading Hermione from the room once more.

Hermione looked at Lena apologetically before closing the door.

"I still don't like this Hermione," Ginny said after a moment of silence, "She just said she wouldn't betray the Slytherins."

"Its no different than any Gryffindor saying the same about our House," Hermione tried to reason with her friend.

"Yeah but, Slytherins don't strike me as a very loyal bunch, they'd probably throw a fellow Slytherin under the knight bus if it was beneficial to them."

"We may hate them Ginny but you can't pretend that they don't stick together. There is some form of loyalty there and we can't expect to deny Lena what every other person inside and outside Hogwarts is offered simply because she's a Slytherin."

"I'm just saying," the red head continued, "There will be some in the D.A. who will be against this simply because of her house and the suspicious nature of her placement in our house."

"Well we'll just have to convince them otherwise," Hermione persisted.

Ginny put her arms on her hips but Hermione could see that she was slowly coming around to Hermione's point of view on the matter.

"Oh before I forget," Ginny said suddenly pulling out a letter from her coat pocket, "Ron said to give this to you."

Hermione took the letter, expecting it to be from Ron but finding instead that it was from Lance.

"Merlin," Hermione cursed under her breath, "I completely forgot about him..."

Ginny looked at Hermione strangely.

"Ron. My brother. The guy you were shacked up with for a year. The -"

"Not that!" Hermione said almost in exasperation, she wasn't that dimwitted...or at least she hoped she wasn't that hopeless to forget Ron all over again, "I meant Lance, he must be worried sick."

"Oh," Ginny replied in realisation, "Well the letter's just arrived this morning and Ron was apparently going to give it to you earlier before you you know..."

"Before I snogged him and bolted?"

"Yep," Ginny said her lips popping on the word.

"I'm a horrible person aren't I?"

"No arguments here."

Hermione began to frown until she saw the joking look on her friends face and rolled her eyes instead.

"The thing is after we - "

"I really don't need to hear this," Ginny said a disgusted look on her face.

Hermione blew a stray hair out of her face in exasperation.

"I was just going to say that it felt weird."

Ginny raised an eyebrow at her choice of words.

"Okay..." the ginger girl said slowly, "define 'weird'?"

"Well," Hermione paused to think on it for a moment before replying, "When I kissed him, I felt a connection."

Ginny made a gagging noise and Hermione quickly amended her statement.

"Not a physical connection with Ron...more like a mental one...if that makes sense."

"Absolutely no sense at all, but look, why don't you talk to Ron about this?"

"I tried," Hermione answered, "but he was acting strangely."

Hermione bit her lip and thought on that for a moment.

"If I had to be honest, it was almost like he was hiding something from me."

"Do you want me to talk to him about it?" Ginny asked.

Hermione shook her head, she didn't want to keep putting Ginny in that position. She simply sighed and tucked the letter from Lance in her skirt pocket.

"I'll talk to him again tonight maybe. But for now, let's deal with Lena."

She opened the door to find Lena standing by the fireplace, she turned when the girls re-entered.

"You must tell Weasley," Lena said abruptly.

When both girls stared at her she continued.

"You require further explanation?"

"Well yes," Hermione said slowly walking over to sit on the bed.

"What does Ron think of this?" Lena questioned in response.

"W-why do you ask about Ron?" Hermione felt a twinge of something in the back of her throat as she spoke and she didn't know why.

"It would be hard to join without his consent, yes?"

"Well lets go talk to Ron then," Ginny said, and Hermione doubted from the look that her friend was giving her that she was referring to Lena's situation. She rolled her eyes but agreed.

"We'll see you later Helena," Ginny said before dragging Hermione from the room.

"What were you guys talking about?" she said as they walked down the spiral staircase towards the common room.

"Huh? Oh that, nothing important," Ginny stopped at the bottom of the staircase, "I have something to do, looks like you'll have to face Ron alone."

"How very convenient," Hermione grumbled and Ginny shrugged her shoulder but a smile played on her lips.

"Seriously, I have something I need to do."

With those words the redhead walked way from her but not before making sure Hermione was headed to the boys dormitory.

Hermione stared at the wooden door of Ron's dormitory and took a deep breath.

_***knock knock***_

Hermione opened the door when there was no response from within.

She stepped inside the darkened room, filled only with the light from the candlelit lamps near the windows. At one of these windows she saw the dark figure of Ron standing leaning against the wall in almost the same position he had been when she had seen him earlier that night. He was looking out at the darkening sky, his arms folded across his chest and his face showed that he was deep in thought. He had clearly not heard her knock on the door and so she cleared her throat to catch his attention. He didn't show any signs of hearing her so she slowly stepped towards him.

She was a few paces away when her reflection in the window caught his attention.

"Hi," she said cautiously still unsure of how to talk to him.

"Hello," he replied not turning around to look at her but simply shifted so that he was now standing straight rather than leaning against the window sill.

"H-how are you?" she questioned, grimacing at the way her voice shook when she spoke.

A long pause followed before Ron finally spoke.

"Okay, I suppose," he said.

She couldn't see his face so she couldn't tell what exactly he had meant by that strange answer but she steeled herself and swallowed before continuing.

"Sorry about before. I shouldn't have just run off like that," she laughed nervously while tugging at her sweater, "It was kind of embarrassing."

"Not that kissing you was embarrassing, it was - actually - kinda nice but...um, well when everyone walked in...and I was - w-well we were..."

She felt the words leaving her mouth before she realised what she was saying, she took a second to catch her breath and in that time Ron had turned to look at her.

She didn't know what she had expected but that calm almost kind look on his face wasn't what she had expected.

"It's fine," he said simply.

"I-I just think I was trying to hard to be - well to be the Hermione that you and everyone expects me to be, I tried so hard to grip onto whatever memories I had of that time and tried to act them out...I thought that if I did I would remember something."

"You thought that if you kissed me, her memories would come back?"

She cringed at the way he had processed her words yet she could not deny that that was exactly what she had thought would happen.

"Sorry," she said lamely.

"What do you want...What do you want Granger?"

Hermione looked up from the floor when he spoke. _Granger_?

"Well," she bit her lip.

"Take your time," he said moving so that he was now leaning against the wall watching her.

She did as he said and considered what exactly it was she wanted out of their relationships.

"Honestly," she said after a moments contemplation, "I don't have those feelings for you that you insist that I do...I care about you sure but I don't..."

"You don't love me," he provided.

She looked away from him and mumbled an apology.

"You don't have to apologise," he said.

She turned back to stare at him open mouthed. Seeing he was completely serious she took a deep breath before replying.

"Can we...can we just start over?" she said feeling confused and hopeful at the same time.

"Sure," he said that calm expression cracking for a moment and she thought she saw...but her thoughts were cut off when he walked over and held out his hand to her, "Hi, name's Ronald Weasley."

She looked at his face for a moment waiting for his expression to change but that strange expression in his eyes were gone and he was looking at her calmly and kindly.

Her eyes dropped to his outstretched hand and she moved her own into it. His warm hand felt nice against her cold fingers. They held each other's gaze for a moment and she realized he was waiting for her to speak.

"Hermione Granger," she said finally.

"Nice to meet you," he replied, and the spell was over, he dropped her hand and stepped away. The warmth of his fingers gone from her own though she felt as though it still burned her skin.

She looked at him curiously.

"Well I have to go now," Ron explained, "Harry's waiting for me."

"Oh - right," she said moving towards the door.

She looked over her shoulder and found that he had moved to his bed to collect his bag, he looked up and their eyes met once more.

"Bye," he said to her before looking down at his bag.

"Bye," she said softly before walking out of the room.

The click of the door seemed louder than usual in the deserted hall. She stood for a moment unsure of what to think or feel.

Ron hadn't seem bothered at all by her words, she thought for sure he would shout at her or look at her furiously or pleadingly but nothing...she was almost, what - disappointed? She shook herself from her thoughts and walked away from the room. She had bigger things to deal with than her strange relationship with Ron, she needed to help Lena and the D.A. as well as trying to figure out Lucius Malfoy's true motives. Teenage drama would have to wait.

It was only some time later that she realised what it was that Ron had said.

"_You thought that if you kissed me, **her** memories would come back?"_

_Her?_

For some reason that bothered her. It felt like he was now unconsciously separated her from the hermione he knew. And yet, it was exactly what she had wanted so why on earth should it bother her?

* * *

**_Lance,_**

**_I'm sorry for the long delay in my response, but I think everything is starting to get back to to normal, well as normal as things can be in my life._**

**_Hermione._**

* * *

"Whoa!" Hermione tripped on the grating under the weight of the books she held in her arms.

She felt someone grab her arm to stop her fall and when she looked up she saw Ron looking down at her.

"Thanks," she said gratefully as he stepped away from her.

"No problem," he said with a smile before walking away.

She bent over and picked up the books from the floor before following the others to the centre of the room where everyone was gathering for the D.A. meeting.

Hermione watched Ron out of the corner of her eye.

It had been a few days since their conversation in his room and since then he had treated her no different to anyone else. She felt relief as well as confused. Was it so easy for him to forget their past relationship? Or perhaps it wasn't as serious as everyone had led her to believe. She really didn't know what to think.

She wanted to concentrate on all the other problems they had to deal with but her thoughts just kept returning to Ron. She couldn't help it, whenever he was near her eyes were drawn to him and even if she didn't watch him she felt his presence. She liked not having the pressure of being more than friends with him and yet -

She shook her head to clear it. It was probably just the side effect of thinking about him too much over the last few months, in time she was sure things would return to normal and she wouldn't think about him at all.

She dropped her wand to her side and allowed Neville time to pick himself up from the floor. Her eyes flicking to the other side of the room.

Ron was talking to Dean about something, and whatever it was, was apparently incredibly amusing. She felt her brow furrow and she bit her lip.

It was weird.

Just yesterday she had been snogging him on his bed, and now he was acting like nothing had happened. She shook her head to shake the haze from her head, she had dredged up old memories of jealousy and had been pacing the room and stewing for a long time before he had arrived in the room that night. So that accounted for some of her anger at least, irrational and abrubt as it may have seemed to him she couldn't really hide from the fact that there may have been more than just risidual jealousy that had caused that anger. She was also angry because he refused to accept her.

Whether it was in her mind or his, she felt everytime he loooked at her that he wasn't seeing her for her. It was incredibly frustrating to be walking around having everyone else see someone else in your place, it was like she was wearing a huge all body disguise 24/7 and she hated it.

But that had changed after they had kissed.

For her it was, well hot. Ron was really sweet when he wanted to be and the effect of the flashes of memories made the kissing him part not totally horrible. She sighed. But the instant the kiss was over both of them realised that it had been wrong.

She wasn't entirely sure what he had felt but she knew that she felt - well - dirty. She groaned inwardly a her choice of words but she really couldn't think of any other words to appropriate describle how she felt. And the reason she felt that way?

Yeah it was just as crazy as she was, if it was possible. She had felt wrong about kissing Ron because she felt like she was kissing someone else boyfriend. Ridiculous because Ron was technically her boyfriend and even if he wasn't engaged to Lena, it was obvious that he cared about her still, despite her crazyness.

She glanced over at Ron.

But the way he had looked at her eversince that day, it was like he had pulled those rose coloured glasses off and saw her finally. And what terrified her as well as liberated her, she felt somewhat guilty about that part, was that he realised that she wasn't his Hermione. She was her own person.

She groaned and Neville looked at her in concern.

"Are you alright?" he questioned when she knocked aside his spell with ease.

"Fine," she mumbled.

She felt someone bump her and she noticed Ginny searching for something in her backpack, which was what had hit her.

"Everything okay?" she questioned the ginger girl.

"Fine," the girl said before pulling out a bandage from her bag and run across the room. Hermione followed her and saw that Harry was holding his arm, he was smiling and complimenting Cho Chang on her spell completely nonplused by the fact that he was bleeding. There was a small cut under his eye, it looked quite painful but he didn't seem bothered by it.

Before Ginny could reach him, Cho reached up and healed his wound with a flick of her wand. Ginny slowed her step just in time to see Harry blush and smile at the pretty asian girl.

She heard someone sigh from behind her.

"Bored now," a girl spoke from behind her, "Grab my bag we're leaving."

Hermione glanced over her shoulder to see Ernie's girlfriend walking out the door and the boy who had bumped into her the other day following after, her bag over his shoulder.

She almost jumped when Ginny threw her bag onto the floor.

"Ouch!" Fred, one of Ginny's brothers said jumping up and down on one foot, "watch where you point that wand."

Apparently in her anger Ginny had caused sparks to fly from her wand.

"Sorry Fred," Ginny said through clenched teeth.

"Yeah your sincerity is touching."

Ginny rolled her eyes at her brother before turning back to Hermione.

"So, boys are stupid, lets get out of here before I accidentally stun one."

Hermione quirked an eyebrow at her, and Ginny gave her a weird look in response.

"Ew," the redhead said after a moment, "Don't do that, you look just like Ron."

Hermione quickly rearranged her features and searched around for Ron to see if he had heard that but he was now talking to Lavender. And was her friend a standing a little to close to Ron or was it just her imagination? Hermione felt a strange sensation bubble up inside her and it took a moment to realise she was angry.

"Yeah you're right, lets go before I hex your brother."

They were just at the door when someone grabbed her by the arm, she turned to see it was Anna. She greeted her friend and saw from the corner of her eye Lavender walking over to them.

"Hi Hermione," Lavender greeted, "Could we talk for a moment?"

Hermione nodded and followed Lavender to an isolated corner of the room.

"How are things progressing with you and Ronald?"

Hermione frowned, she didn't like the way Lavender said Ron's name but she couldn't figure out why.

"Fine," she replied before admitting the truth, "We've decided to go back to being just friends, its all I remember anyway and it makes me uncomfortable to think anything more."

She really wished hadn't added that last part because she saw something flicker in Lavenders' eyes as she smiled at Hermione.

"Are you sure? You guys were so -"

"Don't talk to me about my past," she snapped but felt guilty when she saw the hurt look on her friends face, "Sorry, I just don't like other people telling me things when I don't remember them happening."

"Right," Lavender said slowly, "What about his fiance?"

"What do you mean? What about her?"

She and Ginny had decided to wait a while before discussing their plan to allow Lena to join the D.A. and become a double agent for them in a sense. No one in the D.A. thought much of her though.

"Well are they...getting close?"

"Not that I'm aware," Hermione replied before adding quickly, "Or care. That's their business, not mine."

"Yeah but even if he's engaged with her you know that that's not the end of things right? People know that its an arranged marriage and more than that they know they won't be married until well after graduation so until then he's still '_on the market_' as you would say."

'I would never say that about Ron.'

"Look Lav, is this going somewhere cause I don't see how it has to do with me at all. Outside this room I'm just his servant nothing more."

"Okay, okay, no need to bite my head off, I was just worried about you that's all, you seemed depressed lately that's all."

"I'm fine," she mumbled.

"But Hermione, what do you feel for Ron exactly?"

Hermione looked at Lavender in shock.

"Nothing," she said finally, "I feel nothing for him."

Lavender looked over Hermione shoulder and Hermione followed her gaze, Ron was standing much closer than either of them realised, he wasn't looking at them but it was obvious he had heard her because he stopped what he was doing and was looking at the book in his hand. But the next moment he was back to normal and was walking towards the exit.

She muttered an curse under her breath, one she was sure she must have learnt from Ron or Ginny.

"Sorry," Lavender looked genuinely apologetic, "I didn't see him there."

"Its fine," she mumbled, "He knows that's how I feel anyway."

"I should go," Lavender said after an awkward moment.

"Yeah," she said returning the hug Lavender gave but not really putting her heart into it, Lavender had intentionally or not had brought to the surface what she had tried to bury in the last few days.

Was it even possible for her to not think about Ron for twenty four hours?

Hermione opened the door to Lena's room and stepped inside. She found Lena at her desk reading. She didn't want to bother her while she was studying so she took a seat in the armchair near the small fireplace and tried to relax. A lot had happened over the last few days and she found that at least in Lena's quiet companionship she found some form of solice.

Lavenders words swam to the forefront of her mind and she pushed it back. For one moment today she didn't want to think about her relationship with Ron. They had both agreed to start over, become friends and yet she appeared to be the only one who was struggling with the idea. Ron had gone back to treating her as a servant in front of others but when they were at D.A. meetings or around Ginny, Harry and the other Gryffindors he acted - well like a stranger. He didn't actively seek out her company and yet when she approached and asked him a question or sought clarification on a matter he didn't appear fazed and offered the information freely and kindly.

It was his eyes, she settled on the idea. It was in his eyes when he looked at her. Before they kissed there was always something burning behind his gaze that sent shivers through her and made her feel so loved. It was completely different now. When he saw her - he _saw_ her.

No emotion simmering beneath the surface, no expectation of anything more with her other than friendly conversation. She had asked him at the D.A. meeting to teach her a spell and he had even guided her hand to the proper position but his fingers though warm on her skin didn't leave the burning sensation she thought they would.

She leaned back in the chair and looked at her arm where he had touched hours ago.

This was what she wanted, wasn't it?

Other people had looked at them with knowing looks and smiles but once he had shown her the proper spell technique and was assured that she could perform the spell properly he had simply complimented her and walked off.

It wasn't like he had placed a wall between them but she felt that they were further apart from each other than ever before.

She honestly didn't know how to deal with the situation.

The embers of the fire crackled and she was startled from her thoughts.

She groaned and held her head in her hands.

She swore under her breath.

She had told herself that she didn't want to think about him and yet that was all she had done, the more she tried to separate herself from him the more drawn to him she seemed to be. It was truly hopeless.

She jumped when Lena's arm touched her shoulder.

"Bloody hell," she said standing up to look at Lena biting her tongue once she had spoken.

'_Great, now I'm starting to talk like him too.'_

"Sorry," she apologised to Lena.

Lena looked at her before walking over to her bed.

"You are avoiding him."

"No," Hermione said instantly, "Wait, who are we talking about."

Lena pulled down the covers and made herself comfortable on the bed.

"You are welcome to sleep here but you are not my servant," Lena continued ignoring Hermione's question.

Hermione sat down on the arm of the chair.

"I can't just go back there, its awkward."

"Go on," Lena said, her way of encouraging Hermione to continue talking.

"I don't know how to act with him, we both agreed to be friends and that's been great. The weight of expectation has been lifted off me - and yet..."

She trailed off not sure how to explain how she felt, heck she had been struggling to explain it to herself the past few days, how would she do that with Lena.

"You're lonely," Lena provided simply.

Hermione's head snapped up.

"I am?"

"He provided a source of comfort to you and now you don't have it."

Hermione considered this. Was that all he was, a source of comfort?

Even though she had recovered some of her memories, Ron's constant presence and assurance that he loved her - cared for her and would support her through the ordeal did help her. It was the reason she had felt herself become attached to him, as though his presence was an anchor to her.

"What do I do now?" she questioned Lena but when she looked up the girl was already fast asleep.

Hermione sighed and sat back down on the armchair. Looks like she would have another restless night ahead of her.

* * *

"Hermione?"

Hermione turned from her spot just outside Ron's dormitory room. She didn't know what she was doing there, she just couldn't stand being away from Ron, she had to at least see him. Maybe if she saw him it would help her sort out these intense and confusion emotions she had been experiencing. She had planned to just sneak in and take a peak at his sleeping face - it had sounded perfectly rational when she had considered it in Lena's room but when she found herself standing in front of his door it felt incredibly creepy and bordering on stalking.

She was having an internal argument with herself about why it was so important to see Ron in the middle of the night and why the hell she should even care when Ron had appeared out of the darkness beside her. He had a towel over his shoulders and was rubbing his hair as though he had just finished taking a bath.

She bit her tongue to stop her thoughts trailing down that path.

"Is something wrong?" the redhead asked completely oblivious to the internal battle going on inside her.

"I - I..." she stuttered before looking up at him hopelessly.

She saw his eyes widen and she felt a warm trickle of moisture fall down her face and down her neck.

She reached up and touched her face.

"Hermione," Ron said in concern reaching over to lift her face to look at him.

"What's happened?"

The way he said her name only compounded the pain she realised that she had been feeling eversince they had agreed to be friends. She felt the tears coming fast and uncontronlably now and she wiped them away furiously with her sleeve, not exactly a picture of beauty she knew that.

"I'm sorry," she said through trembling lips, "I'm a stupid girl."

Ron had dropped his hand from her face but he continued to watch her in concern.

"No one could accuse you of that," he said slowly, "But did something happen, did Lena do something?"

"What? No, of course not, I was just - I don't know, I just needed to..." she trailed off and looked up into his face.

She took a shaky breath before continuing.

"Are you really okay with just being friends?"

Ron quirked an eyebrow before smiling at her.

"Actually I am, its been great, like being in first year again," he grinned at her and rubbed the back of his head, "Made me remember what it was like when it was so much more simpler between us."

His words felt like a punch to the stomach.

"D-don't you miss...do you miss her?"

His face turned serious.

"Every second," he said before he sighed and looked at her, "but I told you I know you're not her, maybe you'll get your memories back one day but you'll never be her...and that's just something I'll have to de-mph!"

Hermione didn't know what had come over her. One moment she was watching Ron talk and the next she pulled him down by his shirt collar and kissed him firmly on the lips.

It was Ron who pulled away - no - he pushed her away while catching his breath.

"What the hell?" he stepped back from her and stared at her in disbelief.

Hermione opened her mouth to speak but instead tears once more streamed down her face.

"I'm sorry," she cried before turning and running away. She thought she heard him call after her but she didn't stop.

Running away, its what she did best. He was right, that courageous and smart girl he knew was gone and in her place was someone who didn't measure up in his eyes - so much so that the thought of kissing her disgusted him.

She collapsed outside Lena's room and sobbed.

* * *

Hermione awoke stiff and cold from sleeping on the floor. She sat up and massaged her neck. She really did have a knack for completely messing things up.

"Here."

Hermione looked up to see Lena standing at door to her room, a damp cloth in her hand. Hermione took the offered cloth in her hand and stared at it.

"For your eyes," Lena explained, "It will help the redness and swelling."

Hermione stood up slowly from the floor.

"Do I look that bad."

"You look like you've been crying," Lena said in response, "I am going to breakfast."

"I think I might lie down for a while if that's alright with you," Hermione said in response.

"I will be at Hogmeade today," Lena said, "There is something I wish to show you."

"Alright," Hermione said not really listening before waving goodbye to Lena and trudging over to the bed and slipping off to sleep.

* * *

She had awoken late in the afternoon. She didn't want to get out of bed but knew she needed to meet Lena. After quickly and haphazardly changing clothes and washing her face to look presentable she made her way to Hogsmeade. She had made sure to wear the Slytherin tie combined with her Gryffindor maid skirt just in case anyone had any ideas about attacking her. She needn't had worried though since the wintry road leading to Hogsmeade was completely deserted except for a couple walking ahead of her. It was only when she had gotten closer did she realise who that couple was.

Hermione stood frozen watching the scene unfold before her eyes. She shouldn't be this affected, she barely knew the guy after all and yet...and yet...

Ron laughed and Lavender pulled on his arm.

Ron and Lavender were walking down the road as though it was perfectly natural for a former servant to associate with a pureblood. Hermione felt so many emotions tug at her but the one she settled on was confusion. Here she had tried to start afresh with Ron and he had practically given her the cold shoulder or at least pretended as though they didn't know each other. True he had probably done that to keep up the pretense of their situation but still, how did that make sense when he was acting so friendly with Lavender?

Lavender.

She was supposed to be Hermione's friend.

**_'What do you feel towards Ron anyway?'_ **her friends words echoed in her head from earlier that day. Had that been Lavenders way of ensuring that Hermione didn't have any prior claim over Ron?

Without realising it she had begun to follow the pair as they walked towards Hogsmeade. She watched in disbelief as they walked into the Hogshead, not one person along the road given them a passing glance. Why not?

She couldn't understand any of this.

The door to the Hogshead closed shut and Hermione's eyes shifted towards the crowds in the village. If anything they were looking at her suspiciously rather than at the couple that had just walked past them and into the pub.

She felt someone touch her arm and on reflex she threw them off. She turned to find Lena looking at her with wide eyes.

"S-sorry," Hermione mumbled before walking off. She couldn't be around Lena right now, another reminder of how far away she was from Ron. She had sworn to herself that she just wanted to be his friend, it was enough for her, she had enough on her plate without having to deal with a potential boyfriend. It was all too much for her.

She only realised when she had left the village that someone was following her, she looked over her should to confirm her suspicion that it was Lena.

The girl didn't say anything but just continued to walk a few paces behind her.

Hermione sighed and continued her way back to school.

"It's nothing," she said after a long drawn out silence, "It just threw me a bit, watching him with another girl so soon after...after we k-kissed..."

She felt her cheeks heat up at the memory and felt like hitting herself for acting like a typical school girl about the matter.

"I mean," she continued when the only response from Lena was the crunch crunch of her boots on the snow and gravel, "We're not technically dating, we're not technically anything - but its confusing, I get these flashes of memories and I have the urge to act upon them but when I do it just ends up being a disaster."

_***crunch crunch crunch***_

"I was the one who told him I just wanted to be friends after all, I can't blame him for dating other girls. But doesn't it bother you?" she glanced over her shoulder at Lena, "You're the one engaged to him."

"I don't care," Lena replied simply, "We have not emotional attachment and he is free to do as he chooses, I've told you as much."

Hermione turned back around.

That's true, Lena had indeed told her that she wouldn't interfere if Hermione and Ron wanted to be together, despite the fact that she was the one engaged to him.

"I don't know it bothers me but - it does," she finished in a defeated voice.

There was no response from Lena and the pair continued on their way back to school in silence.

* * *

"Hi Hermione," Lavender greeted her the instant she had stepped into the room of requirement.

She was supposed to discuss the prospect of new members tonight with Harry and Ron, but Hermione's heart wasn't in it. She shook herself and looked at her friend.

She managed a smile and greeted her friend.

"Are you alright?" her friend said instantly, clearly Hermione smile had turned into a grimace.

Hermione shrugged concomitantly.

"Been an odd few day," she said simply before turning to look towards Harry who had started gathering the students around to discuss a new spell.

Lavender however wasn't giving up. She walked beside Hermione and whispered to her.

"Is this about Ron?"

Hermione frowned and looked at Lavender beside her.

"My world doesn't revolve around that red haired git."

Lavender gave her a regrettable look and when Hermione turned she realised that the entire group had heard her including Ron.

He looked at her for a moment before rolling his eyes.

"What'd you do this time Ron?" Seamus joked to a few chuckles from the group.

"Not a clue," Ron replied but he had that familiar grin on his face which showed he didn't take her words seriously, Hermione wished he had.

Some time after he approached her as though to talk but she turned and walked away from him. She didn't want to deal with him, he had pushed her away and made her feel worthless - she had sworn to herself that she would no longer let him do that to her. Then he made it worse by going out with Lavender, as though their - no his and Hermione's relationship meant nothing to him. And Lavender she had been trying to talk to Hermione the entire night but she didn't want to deal with her friend either, maybe she had not claim on Ron's heart but didn't Lavender say herself that everyone knew that they had feelings for each other in the past - that should have counted for something.

So much for Gryffindor loyalty she thought bitterly putting too much force behind her spell and causing Ginny to duck before the stunning spell hit her directly.

A few people cast her cautious looks but Hermione blocked them out.

"O-kay," Ginny said slowly, "Are we upset about something?"

"No," she ground out, huffing.

"Yeah that was believable," her friend said folding her arms and looking at Hermione seriously, "You've been in a sour mood ever since yesterdat, whats up?"

"It's nothing," she said twisting her wand in her fingers.

"Fine," Ginny said throwing her hands up in defeat, "But you need another partner because this girl would like to keep her face the way it is thank you very much."

Ginny gave her smile and squeezed her arm before walking off so Hermione knew she was just joking with her but it didn't make her feel any better. She sighed and walked over to the side of the room, she slid down the wall and sat watching everyone else practice. She was at least able to distract herself by watching everyone else doing her best to avoid a few people in her eyesight.

"Hey."

Hermione looked up to find Harry standing above her.

"Hi," she said trying to muster a smile.

Harry sat down across from her gave her a look which she was sure meant that he didn't buy her act.

"Ginny mentioned some plan you guys had to turn Lena into a double agent?"

"Oh yeah that," Hermione had completely forgotten about that, "Yeah do you think it would work?"

"Well first of all, she's a spy sent by Malfoy, which means I'm not going to let her join the D.A."

"Actually I've done some research and I think I can come up with a spell that will let us know if someone has betrayed us."

Harry considered this for a moment.

"How would it work?"

"Well we could put her through a test, give her some juicy information that we know Umbridge or Malfoy are dying to know and see if she passes it on."

"And if she does we're screwed."

"Well we wouldn't give her real information, just something made up that sounds legitimate."

Harry looked like he was seriously considering this when Cho waved at him from across the room. Harry smiled at her but when he turned back to Hermione his smile disappeared.

"Sorry," he looked genuinely guilty for getting distracted by the pretty girl across the room.

Hermione just rolled her eyes.

"Boys," she said with a sigh.

"By the way," Harry said clearly wanting to change the subject, "Did something happen with you and Ron?"

"No," she answered instantly.

Harry chuckled and got up from the floor.

"Okay, well as long as you don't kill anyone in the process of venting your frustrations," he caught the look in her eyes and added quickly, "Just remember the guy you're angry at is Ron, not me."

He made a hasty retreat and Hermione continued to glare at the red haired git across the room from her.

She saw everyone leave the room but it looked like they had all agreed to get out the firing line simultaneously cause the next moment she was completely alone with Ron and the door was firmly closed on them both.

"What is it?" she avoided his gaze and she felt her body tense up at the close proximity of his body, which was ridiculous as he was standing at least two metres from her.

"Are you alright?" he questioned genuine concern evident on his face, "Lavender mentioned that you seemed a bit upset."

She tightened her fist before folding her arms across her chest and looking now determinedly in the opposite direction.

"Lena mentioned that you saw us together at the Hogshead, I was wondering if you -"

"I'm fine," she said through gritted teeth cutting him off.

She really didn't know what was going, why was she so upset? She felt as though she could burn a whole through Ron's body simply by looking at him or that she could curse him with a never ending list of spells she didn't even know she knew how to perform and yet they were there, making her fingers twitch.

The tension in her body made her eye twitch and she gritted her teeth.

"Alright," she heard Ron say, "We should head back."

She furrowed her brows at his words.

"What am I supposed to follow you around like a lost puppy just because I'm your '**_servant_**'?" she placed extra emphasis on the last word since both of them knew that she was no longer under the school enchantments and free to do as she wished.

"I didn't mean it like that."

She didn't reply but moved to walk away as he approached her. Was that all he was going to say to her? He wasn't even going to argue with her?

"Don't touch me," she spat out when he reached his hand out towards her.

His wide-eyed expression lasted a split second before he scoffed at her.

"You're standing in front of the door genius," he said before taking a moment to look at her, "What's been with you lately?"

She gritted her teeth and was sure was going to get a lecture from her parents about dental health soon but she turned to glare daggers at Ron.

"None of you business!" she snapped before turning to face him completely though her eyes were pinned to his collar not his face.

"Wha-"

She cut him off.

"Stop talking to me, stop acting like you know me, stop doing things like apologising for taking other girls out on dates as though it has something - anything to do with me! I don't care what you do, who you associate with or think about, you could snog the population of Hogwarts and beyond and I wouldn't give a flying fuck - so - just - stop!"

'**You stop!'** a voice inside her head screamed but her mouth wouldn't cooperate.

"Do you know how bloody annoying it is to have people look at me with pity simply because I'm not hanging on your every word or glued to your side? They think its cause I can't exist without you! How pathetic a girl I must have been before now to have people think that without you I couldn't survive. I am grateful to Merlin that I don't remember you or who I was before because -"

Hermione saw him reach a hand out to her but she pushed it away and plowed on despite her internal desire to shut the hell up.

"I hate everything about you, walking around as though I owe it to you to be someone I'm not, to be this perfect girl that you want me to be. To make sure everyone around me is happy because they sure as hell aren't happy with the me who is standing right in front of them. Do you know how exhausting it is to try to live up to your expectations and why the hell would I even want to anyway? Why should I put so much effort into pleasing someone I don't even care about?"

'**You don't mean any of this!' **she screamed internally but she couldn't stop herself.

"I wish for all the world that you would just leave me the hell alone!"

She breathed heavily when she spat out the last word. The only sound in the room was her heavy breathing and it echoed around the large empty room.

Seconds, minutes even passed before she finally had the courage to lift her face to look at Ron's. He had remained so still, so silent throughout that she wondered if he had even heard her.

That doubt died when she looked into his eyes. Her body felt like ice and she gulped audibly.

The person in front of her didn't resemble Ron at all. His eyes were narrowed, a dark shadow seemed to pass over his face and his eyes were a swirling dark grey not their normal clear blue. She felt for the first time just how much taller and bigger he was then her as he towered over her. Any resemblance to the boy who had been laughing with Harry an hour ago was gone. This person...wasn't Ron. It was as though his body had been possessed by a Dementor for all the darkness and coldness radiating off of him. The air around them seemed to drop a few degrees and his eyes shot icy blades through her as he took a slow step towards her.

He leaned over her and stared straight into her eyes sending shivers through her body when his low growling voice finally spoke through gritted teeth.

"As - you - wish."

With those words he shifted past her, shifted as though by some strange spell, because one moment he was standing in front of her and next his presence was gone.

The air returned to its normal temperature and she released a breath she didn't know was holding and realised her chest ached from lack of air.

She stared at the door where Ron had disappeared through and felt her body shaking. She held her face in her hands and dropped to the floor.

"What do I do now?"


	27. To be alive

**AN: Someone requested I do a review of what's happened so far here's what happened last time on m3 (My Muggle Maid)**

**Hermione, Ginny and Lena (reluctantly) decide that the best option for them is to allow Lena to join the DA.**

**After seeing Ron and Lavender at Hogsmeade together, Hermione in her confused state said some pretty horrible things to Ron:**

_"I wish for all the world that you would just leave me the hell alone!"_

**After that Ron stormed out not before staring down Hermione:**

He leaned over her and stared straight into her eyes sending shivers through her body when his low growling voice finally spoke through gritted teeth.

"As - you - wish."

**And that's what you missed. **

* * *

**Chapter 21 To be alive**

_**Dearest Lance,**_

_**I don't know where to start...I only know that after this week I...**_

_**Well before I start blubbering, perhaps it is best to start at the beginning ...you see last week...**_

Hermione gasped and sat up. She felt as though her entire body had been dunked into cold freezing water. She was gasping for air and looking around completely disoriented. The room spun around her for a few moments and she blinked against the bright light that blazed in front of her eyes.

She closed her eyes for a moment and held her head. It hurt to open them as though she hadn't used them for months. She moved to stand and instantly regretted it, her body felt like it was on fire.

She lay back down, her breathing laboured as she took her time to adjust. Once she felt somewhat composed she slowly and cautiously opened her eyes once more. She moved her head and looked around the room.

She was laying on a lounge chair in the middle of a small brightly lit sitting room. It felt like it was the middle of the day and the house was completely quiet. The tall windows and french doors provided a clear view out into the simple english garden. She moved to stand, her legs wobbled slightly and she caught herself on the armrest before moving step by step towards the window. With each step she felt as though the cobwebs were being washed away and she felt refreshed.

By the time she reached the window she closed her eyes and heard the soothing sound of the sea, the constant crashing and flow of the water against the sand just out of reach but so close that she felt she knew where she was now.

Her body eased from its tension, relaxed and she reached out to touch the glass in comfort. Opening her eyes however she was shocked at the reflection that greeted her. She tried not to panic although she felt her heart race uncontrollably. Harsh red scars covered her neck and her eyes had dark circles surrounding them, she looked down and saw part of her right arm was bandaged and that her fingers didn't quite move the way she wanted them to. She ignored that for a moment when she felt the tightness around her head, she saw from her reflection that a bandage was wrapped around her head and she tried to think back and remember when this was, how long had she been here and -

"Hey!"

She spun around at the sound and lost her footing, she tumbled towards the ground, they both tumbled to the ground but she was held safely in someone's arms. They were both sitting on the floor and she was held tightly to this persons chest and she knew without even looking who it was that had saved her - who always seemed to save her when she lost herself.

"You shouldn't be walking just yet," Ron's spoke and she felt the vibrations of his words through his chest and through her body as he held her.

She felt her eyes begin to water.

She missed this so much.

She reached her arms around and held tightly onto him for she knew that any moment he would disappear and she didn't want to go back just yet.

He returned her hug and chuckled.

But then after a moment he seemed to tense and concern was evident in his voice.

"Hey...hey are you alright 'mione?" He said trying to push her back slightly to look at her but she wouldn't allow it and simply held him tighter.

She buried her face in his chest and held on for dear life.

"Just a little more," she said finally her voice muffled from being buried in his chest.

After a moment she felt him place a comforting hand on her head and say in a comforting voice.

"Its alright, everything will be alright."

She sighed contentedly and smiled.

She shivered when Ron pulled away. He stood above her and an image of Ron staring at her with cold dark eyes flashed before her. She felt cold suddenly and she could almost feel the grating of the Room or Requirement against her skin but when she blinked and looked up at the Ron in front of her he was looking at her with perplexed but warm eyes.

"You alright there?" he questioned a hint of humour in his voice, oh how she missed that, how she missed him.

She pushed herself off the floor and grabbed onto his offered hand.

"Just happy to see you," she said finally squeezing his fingers.

She saw pink flood his cheeks and she couldn't help smiling at him. It was like the old days back when they were kids, awkward sweet moments that they shared between them. Others perhaps heard them or saw them but nobody truly comprehended what those moments meant to either of them. Each moment like a stepping stone towards the great beyond, their futures together.

She felt her chest tighten but pushed away the painful feeling, pushed away the knowledge that this wasn't reality.

A quick flash of the darkness and the cold floor again and she gritted her teeth, she turned and saw Ron sitting across from her now.

He was eating dinner but paused spoon halfway to his mouth when he noticed her staring.

"What?" he questioned putting his spoon down and wiping at his mouth, "Something on my face?"

Hermione face softened, she didn't say anything but reached a hand across the table to touch his. She moved her fingers across hand trying to memorize the contours of his hand.

Ron looked down at their entwined fingers before looking up at her, he opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the ring of a telephone.

Telephone?

"That'll be Harry," Ron said getting up from the table and she felt much colder suddenly, "Said he'd call today."

Ron's voice trailed off down the hall and the room darkened without his presence. It frightened her. Would this world disappear without _this_ Ron in it? If she stayed here would he stay with her or would he leave her like his real world counterpart? And if he did would this world turn to darkness too?

She wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she saw the lights from the stars outside flicker and fade into the black before the candles around the kitchen begin to fade as well.

"R-Ron" she said weakly at first but when her vision also began to dim she screamed out his name more clearly, "RON!"

He was by her side instantly, his hand on her shoulder.

"Harry want's to talk to you," he said from beside her as though he had never left as though the world didn't just disappear in front of her. She looked up at his face, that face that radiated love and warmth and home.

She swallowed and looked at the phone in his hand.

Shakily she took it from him.

"What does he want?" she questioned him once she had gathered her bearings.

"Says he found the next clue for the Triwizard tournament but wants your advice on how to crack it."

She nodded and tried to smile but she kept her eyes focused on him as he moved away from her to sit back down at the table. He resumed eating his dinner of minestrone soup. He ripped a piece of bread and dunked it into the soup before lifting it to his mouth, some of it dribbled down his chin and she watched its path a more genuine smile on her face now.

"Yes Harry?" she said lifting the phone to her ear.

Silence.

"Harry?"

"Time to wake up now..."

Hermione's smile disappeared.

That wasn't Harry's voice.

It was a male voice, that much she knew but she didn't know who it belonged to.

"You don't belong here."

She lifted her eyes back to Ron's face, he was watching her, his face calm. An embarrassed smile crossed his face when he lifted his hand up to wipe the soup from his chin.

She took a shaky sip of water.

"Harry?" she said into the phone.

Ron's eyes stared into hers. Trust and love reflected in those depths.

"Hermione," the crackling voice on the other end of the line spoke once more, "Wake up Hermione."

Hermione threw the phone across the room and it shattered into pieces.

She breathed heavily and stared at the pieces of the phone on the floor.

"What did he say?"

She looked from the floor to Ron.

"What did Harry say?" Ron repeated as though she hadn't just hurled the phone past his head causing it to shatter into pieces that now lay at his feet.

She tried to catch her breath and she looked at the floor once more before focusing on Ron.

She shook her head before clearing her throat and saying.

"Want's me to help him - do research."

She gasped when she looked up at Ron to see that same cold empty look in his eyes but then he blinked and the warm blue eyes stared back at her.

Ron nodded his head before continuing to eat.

"Well we'll get onto that after dinner, if you're not feeling too tired."

"I'm fine," she said though she felt anything but, shivering at the memory of his cold eyes, "Absolutely fine."

_**It can be enticing. That world, that world we created together. I would do almost anything to go back there...but I wonder if it will be the paradise I remember it...**_

"Hermione I'm tired," Ron groaned leaning back against the sofa, "Just let me rest my eyes for a -"

"No!" She said in a panic grabbing his arm and shaking him to keep him conscious, "No you cant! Stay with me Ron, stay..."

She saw his tired eyes turn towards her.

"Just a few minutes 'Mione," he whispered before his eyes closed completely, "just a bit..."

"Ron," she practically begged trying to shake him awake, but it was too late, he was asleep and she felt the moonlight disappear outside.

"No," she said through quivering lips, "Don't make me go back there."

She tried to move closer to Ron's sleeping form, she held tightly to him as the world around her faded, first the fire, then the books, furniture and finally the room.

"I want to stay," she begged as the the darkness surrounded her, "I want to stay with you...only you."

_**I think there is a very thin line between fear and bravery, I seem to be skating that line more each day, on which side will I finally fall? **_

Someone was shaking her.

"Hermione."

"Hermione, wake up,"

She blinked and groaned at the ache in her side.

"Whazzuh..." she mumbled as someone helped her sit up.

It took her a moment to orient herself once more.

"Where am I?" she said her head still feeling groggy.

"In my room."

She looked next to her and saw Ginny.

"My head," Hermione said reaching up to rub at her temples, "What happened, how did I get here?"

Her voice sounded hoarse and she was grateful when Ginny handed her a glass of water.

"...Found you unconscious in the room of requirement last night," Ginny explained.

Hermione rubbed at her eyes and tried to focus on the world around her.

She drank some more water and looked around the Gryffindor girls dormitory.

It was completely empty and the sun was low in the sky.

"How long was I out?" she questioned her friend noticing for the first time that Ginny was in her Quidditch gear.

"Half a day," Ginny said before asking seriously, "What happened?"

Hermione was silent for a long time. She didn't even know where - or what she had experienced, it wasn't a memory and yet what else could it be?

***snap***

Hermione blinked several times and looked up at the person who had just snapped their fingers in front of her face. Ginny was still looking at her expectantly. Her hair was up in a high ponytail and she was had her broom under one arm whilst fixing the strap of her Qudditch armgear. She looked away from her arm for a second to look at Hermione again.

"Well?"

"I don't know," Hermione replied honestly, "It was like reliving a memory but...it felt...strange."

"What do you mean?"

Hermione jumped off the bed suddenly causing Ginny to take a few steps back to avoid them hitting each other. Hermione regretted her haste though, she felt the room spin around her.

"Whoa! Slow down there," Ginny said grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her back to the bed, "Alright?"

"I think I should investigate that spell I cast upon myself," Hermione said once the room had righted itself, she pushed her frizzy hair out of her face in frustration as her mind raced ahead of her thought processes, "Did I leave any notes or anything behind?"

"You'd have to ask Ron."

At Ginny's words Hermione's heart fell. She didn't want to face him just yet. She ought to apologise for her outburst yesterday but she couldn't face him - he must hate her.

"Uh oh, what did he do now?"

Hermione opened her mouth but a knock at the door interrupted them.

A pretty blonde whom Hermione didn't quite remember opened to door and peeked in.

"Sorry Gin," the girl said ignoring Hermione completely, "Harry says if you don't get down to the common room now you'll be on the reserve team for a week."

"Like he would dare," Ginny said but quickly picked up her broom which she had dropped to the floor when Hermione had swayed in front of her, she turned back to Hermione, "We'll continue this later yeah?"

Hermione nodded her head and watched her friend leave. She clenched her fists on the sheets beneath her and looked around the room. If this world hadn't been so screwed up, if the Malfoy's didn't run the wizarding world would this be her room as well? Would she be a part of it all rather than on the outside looking in?

Or would she still be like she was now? Her face constantly pressed against the glass but never to touch the world inside?

Hermione sighed and got up from the bed.

"Onwards," she said mustering her strength.

_**Sometimes I forget which is the dream and which is real, but perhaps they are one and the same. The tighter I try to hold onto one the further away it slips from my grasps...perhaps the lesson is that I must let it go and hope that one day it will return to me once more...I suppose to let go of the thing you want most in this world takes a certain amount of courage too. Am I brave enough to weather that storm?**_

Hermione stopped short just at the bottom of the staircase to the girls dorm. Across the room the Gryffindor Quidditch team was gathered. Harry was going over some last minute tactics he had devised and was showing them each a diagram. Everyone had a tired look in their eyes as they listened to Harry's instructions but they weren't at all surprised by this as they were all used to new tactics that Harry would come up with, each more elaborate then the last. She saw Ginny at Harry's side listening intently a furrowed brow and focused look in her eyes as though she was visualizing her role in the new plan of attack.

"Mr Weasley," a tenative voice said near her and Hermione started when a first year Gryffindor girl rushed past her and ran towards Ron, who was standing towards the back of the group. Since he probably had helped Harry devise the new plan and debated the details with the captain he didn't really need to listen as intently as the others. The girl dragged along behind her a heavy backpack, no doubt filled with text books and Hermione couldn't help thinking how much the girl reminded her of herself. She shook her head, but that couldn't be, she had never been a student here, no matter how much she ached to be.

Ron looked up, caught her eye for a second before turning to the little girl next to him.

"C-can you help me with this?" the girl said nervously holding out a homework book in her hands.

Hermione watched Ron place the broomstick behind him against the wall and knelt down to be on face level with the little girl. He took the book from her and examined it. What he said and what they discussed didn't even register with Hermione. All she could see was Ron. Something tugged at her insides watching him patiently assist a first year with her homework. He had knelt down so that he was face to face with the young girl and was going over the words in the textbook. The young girl nodded enthusiastically while scribbling a few notes on her parchment. She didn't think he had it in him, he was kind sure and she knew she cared about the people in his life but she just didn't know how far that kindness spread. The way he smiled and repeated his words when the girl stumbled with his explanation broke something inside her.

She didn't even realise when the girl had left or when Ron had stood back up again, but she did realise when he looked at her. It was for a moment, a second, a blink of an eye but he had looked at her. And behind those clear blue eyes she saw none of that kindness or patience she had seen with the little girl. He had passed over her as though she wasn't even there. She couldn't - wouldn't complain because its what she had told him she had wanted, and that was a kindness too wasn't it. He had done exactly what she asked of him - even if regretted those words the instant they left her mouth, it was too late now to take them back. Their time had passed and she needed to focus on the future.

She watched the Qudditich team leave the common room and she moved to the servants passageway. One last glance to the warm common room before she pushed open the door and walked down the solitary stairwell. Her fingers trailing against the walls.

It was quiet in the stairwell but she could still hear the rowdy Gryffindor quidditch team making their way down the moving staircase. Her heart jumped every time she heard his voice, usually saying something to Harry or telling Seamus to shut up when the irishman made some crude remark.

She stopped and pressed her ear against the wall.

Laughter.

She pushed away from the wall.

Ron was laughing, they were all laughing.

She reached out and touched the wall imagining Ron's face.

'Enough,' she told herself before pushing away from the wall and making her way down to the kitchens.

'That's not your world.'

_**I thought I wanted to be free, but freedom is its own sort of prison. **_

Hermione didn't know what she was doing there.

She had told herself to busy herself with other things, get back to her normal routine. Cleaning Ron's clothes, changing his bedsheets and such. She had made a brief stop at the kitchens to make sure the kitchen elves would leave some extra food out for her later so she could have a snack prepared for the Quidditch team after their practice. The elves nodded and went on with their work and Hermione felt completely in the way there.

After avoiding tripping over a few house elves she turned and made the long trip back up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room.

She found the room deserted, the fire had died down to a crackle and she moved over and threw a few pieces of wood on it and waited till it began to heat up the room a bit. She took a seat on the nearest armchair and watched the embers and flames slowly devour the pieces of wood and gradually increase in size.

Satisfied that the room was now toasty warm and having depleted all her attempts at procrastination she trudged up to the boys dormitory.

She pushed open the wooden door and peaked inside, it was empty of course but she felt a strange trepidation run through her just to be back here.

She stepped inside and closed the door behind her quietly. She surveyed the room a bit and noticed the clothes strewn across the floor and on the beds. Anna and Lavender were no longer there and Hermione had been with Lena for so long that the boys rooms was really gathering that boys locker room feel and smell. She scrunched up her noise then stopped when she caught sight of something on Ron's bed.

She hesitated before moving over and looking at the object. She leaned her head to the side and examined the object curiously.

"Well that's - different," she said to herself moving to pick up the fluffly little orange thing on the bed.

"What on earth?" she wondered, then she felt a sudden weight hit her on the side of the head and she collapsed to the floor -

***Meow!***

_"**Bloody cat!"**_

_**Hermione looked up from her book. She was laying on the bed surrounded by books when crookshanks came screeching into the room followed by a furious looking Ron.**_

_"**Hermione!" he said accusingly glaring at the cat mewwing at Hermione's feet whilst simultaneously hissing at Ron, quite a feat actually, then again Crookshanks was always special, "Can't you tell that stupid bloody cat of yours to stop going mental each time it sees me?"**_

_**Hermione rolled her eyes and urged Crookshanks from his post at her feet and into her lap, she patted her cat and it purred happily at her.**_

_"**Oh yeah, yeah put on your innocent cat act with 'mione but with me its all claws and scratching and hissing, bloody -"**_

_"**Ron!" Hermione said sternly, "He's just a cat for goodness sake."**_

_"**Look what he did!" Ron said making a step towards her but stopped when Crookshanks hissed again. But even from here Hermione could see the red scars left from Crookshanks claws.**_

_"**What did you do to him?"**_

_"**Me?" Ron said in shock, "he's the one who attacked me the instant I sit down to watch some telly."**_

_**A smile played on her lips to hear Ron sounding so much like a muggle. He had apparently in the months she was going in and out of consciousness grown incredibly fond of the muggle device. **_

_**Hermione tried to lift her cat up but she made a hiss of her own when her ribcage burned with pain and her arm seized. **_

_**Crookshanks nuzzled her slightly but Ron was instantly at her side. **_

_"**You alright?" he asked her, all anger gone from his voice.**_

_**She looked up and noticed that though he had spoken to her he was staring at Crookshanks. It was quite extraordinary, as though the two were communicating on some level and Crookshanks finally accepted that in this instance Ron was the one who could help Hermione most and he lay back onto the bed, contenting himself with watching Ron rather than attacking him.**_

_"**My arm," she said painfully, "Feels all tense."**_

_**Ron bit his lip and scratched his head causing his hair to become an adorable mess.**_

_'**That's new,' she thought to herself smiling despite her pain.**_

_"**I think there's some potion for that," Ron said looking from her arm to her face, he crooked his head to the side and looked at her in confusion, "What?" he said slowly tentatively returning her smile.**_

_**She realised that she was staring and blushed. She looked away from him and focused her attention on Crookshanks. The cat purred happily at her and nuzzled her leg though if she didn't know better the cat had a knowing look in its eyes. She scratched the cat under its chin and it purred at her.**_

_**By the time she felt her cheeks cool down she turned and saw that Ron was staring at the french doors that led to the balcony. He frowned, placed the lotion onto the dressing table and walked towards the door. After a moment he opened them and in flew a small brown owl. It dropped a letter on the bed and them perched on the mantlepiece for a moment. Crookshanks made a leap for the bird and it instantly flew back out the door, the curtains fluttering behind it. A rush of sea air rushed through the room and Hermione shivered. Ron picked up the letter from the bed just as she reached for it and moved to the door to close it but she suspected that he also wanted to read the letter away from her curious eyes. He didn't like to make her worry she suspected, though the fact that he did such things was counter productive as they just caused her to worry more.**_

_**He pushed the door closed with his foot while opening the letter in his hands. He seemed to read the contents a few times before placing it at his side. A few moments later he turned around obviously distracted by something in the letter. **_

_"**Could you hand me the lotion?" she said half asking and half suggesting in an effort to get him to move closer to her. He picked up the bottle of lotion he had placed on the small dressing table as earlier and handed it to her.**_

_**She took the offered lotion from his hands but wondered what had happened which had taken his attention.**_

_"**What's happened?" she said before he could step back out of the room.**_

_**He turned to look at her.**_

_"**I'll - just had a message," he waved the letter in his hand, looking at it once more before speaking, "Think I have to go somewhere for a while."**_

_"**Where?"**_

_**He seemed to be debating something in his mind so perhaps he didn't hear her speak.**_

_"**I'll get someone to look after you for - while I'm gone."**_

_"**Will you be gone that long then?"**_

_**He didn't have a chance to respond before a knock was heard on the door.**_

_**Ron went to answer it and she was surprised to see that it was Remus.**_

_"**Professor!" she said happily beginning to move from her bed.**_

_"**No don't get up," Remus said quickly from the doorway, "And its Remus now, not Professor."**_

_**He turned to Ron.**_

_"**Shouldn't you be going?"**_

_"**Oh this is nice," a voice said from the hallway before there was a clatter which sounded suspiciously like a vase dropping, "Oh sorry about that, I'll fix it."**_

_**Hermione looked at Remus curiously as Ron walked away to check out whoever caused the mess. She needn't had worried though cause despite Remus looking decidedly embarrassed before clenching his jaw sternly. It was only a woman, perhaps twenty or so who had a rather alarming haircut which was a fantastic bubblegum pink or was it purple. Hermione crooked her head at the changing shade of the girls hair.**_

_**The girl smiled mischievously before walking into the room but not before winking at Remus as she passed him.**_

_**Remus avoided her gaze and turned to talk to Ron.**_

_"**Well this is a sight."**_

_**Hermione thought the girl was referring to her but instead she picked up a few of the books. **_

_"**How'd you manage all this then?"**_

_"**What do you mean?" Hermione wondered watching as the girl leaf through a small book.**_

_"**How'd you manage to get all these books here, most of them should be at Hogwarts," the girl said putting the book down and smiling at Hermione, "I'm Tonks by the way."**_

_**She tacked her name to the end of the sentence as though it were a last minute thought.**_

_"**Hermione," Hermione replied not sure whether the girls way of speaking was amusing or alarming.**_

_"**I'll be back soon," Ron said reaching down to squeeze her shoulder and get her attention.**_

_**Hermione felt her chest constrict at his words and it must have played out on her face because Tonks interrupted.**_

_"**He'll be fine, back safe and sound before you know it," She said before nudging him towards the door and to Remus, "After all Remus will be with him."**_

_**Tonks smiled and her hair turned a shade of brown before switching to blonde.**_

_"**How -" Hermione began before she saw caught sight of the look on Ron's face. He was walking from the room and had just stepped out into the shadow of the hallway before he glanced over his shoulder. It was only a second, perhaps not even that but he looked sick. **_

_"**Are you sure he'll be alright?" She questioned the girl across from her.**_

_"**Absolutely," Tonks replied completely serious now, "Trust me, I'm an Auror after all."**_

_**"She'll be fine," she heard Remus say from the hallway.**_

_**"If she's hurt and I'm not here -"**_

_**"Tonks is more than capable..."**_

_**Their conversation faded as they walked downstairs and ****Hermione turned to look at the girl across from her. She didn't look old enough to be an auror but there was something in her eyes, kind, gentle and a little battle-worn that told Hermione to trust her.**_

_**She attempted a smile but suddenly felt faint and laid back on the bed instead.**_

_"**Are you alright?" Tonks said in concern and Hermione felt a hand on her shoulder.**_

_"**I can't - its embarrasing but I tire very easily, do you mind if I just sleep for a bit."**_

_"**Not at all," Tonks said quickly, "And don't worry I'll be here should you need anything."**_

_**Hermione heard Tonks say something before there was a clutter of books falling on the floor but she fell asleep before she could register what had happened.**_

**It's not at all an exaggeration when I say that I have two personalities if not more when it comes to a certain red head. When he's around I feel like I could throttle him or hex him and other times - especially when he's not around I feel his absence so acutely it pains me. But I would never admit such things to him of course...**

Hermione awoke some time later. It was dark and she wondered if Ron had returned yet. She closed her eyes again and wondered if he was alright.

She felt something touch her hair.

"mmm...?" she mumbled still half asleep, she turned and sighed.

She fell back to sleep after that certain that Tonks would take care of things.

"She alright?"

Hermione heard voices near her but she was still groggy and faded in and out of consciousness.

"What's she..."

"Just leave her, we have to go anyway..."

Ron?

Was that Ron's voice.

"mhmmRon," she mumbled her mouth feeling dry, she opened her eyes but closed them again when harsh light shone through the curtains, she was sure she slurred a few more words but it was useless she was more tired that she thought.

"...hospital..."

"...what's she taken?..."

"...fine a few hours ago..."

Hermione sighed when she felt herself being lifted off the bed. Ron. It must be Ron, she recognised his smell. Minty toothpaste or was it mint flavoured candies? His clean shirt with a hint of grassy smell and...and...the taste of the taste of the sea - no the sound of the sea...she didn't know he tasted like...did she?

"I've missed you," she whispered into his shirt.

She felt Ron's body tense at her words.

"What'd she say?"

"...nothing," she heard Ron reply.

A part of her brain questioned where she was and what she was doing but she was far too comfortable in Ron's arms to be distracted by such things.

She didn't know how much time passed but she soon found herself back on a soft mattress and snugly covered in warm blankets. She saw shadows around her bed but they weren't talking to her. She reached out a hand and saw the person closest to her turn to look down at her. She thought it would be Ron but it was Harry.

"Harry?" she said sleepily, "Why are you here?"

"What -"

He looked at her for a moment before looking at the others around him.

"How's the competition going?" she said blinking her eyes and trying to focus on his face, he was still wearing his Hogwarts uniform so she assumed he must have come with Ron, "Did you come to drop Ron off."

He nodded his head slowly at her.

"Yeah, yep just dropped him off - just now," he said waving behind him, "Gone to put his things back in his, yeah so how are you? Still a bit groggy?"

"...tired..." she said lifting a hand up to place over her eyes, "Where's Ron?"

"He'll be back soon, just gone to get some...something," Harry explained but she wasn't really listening.

"Here Hermione have something to drink," another voice spoke.

"Ginny is that you? what are you...?" she didn't get to finish since she was lifted off the bed and someone was forcing a strange cold liquid down her throat.

Her eyes focused slightly but they teared up as a reaction to the potion she was drinking. She caught sight of someone just out of view, then she blacked out.

_**If you had asked me one week ago what I wanted of yesterday, what I dreamed for the future and what I wished for today, they would all be so complicated but now... **_

_**Wishes and dreams and reality, they all blur into one...**_

She woke some time later, a figure leaning over her as though they had just been speaking to her. She moved her head and the figure moved away.

"Ron?" she said slowly and cautiously, her head feeling lighter and less groggy now.

It took a while but she heard the scrapping of a chair before he sat down beside her.

"You alright?"

"Think so," she whispered, "water please."

She heard him pour some water into a nearby glass but her eyes were on him.

"Harry's alright?"

He stilled and looked at her.

"Fine," he replied before putting down the jug and handing her the glass.

She pushed herself off the bed she saw him reach out as though to help her but stopped himself, perhaps knowing she didn't like him acting like mother goose around her...or was it something else...something felt off but she took a sip of water rather than dwell on it.

He was sitting, his fingers clasped in front of him, elbows on his knees. His face tense as he looked across the bed and out the window rather than at her.

She put the glass down on the bedside table and reached over to touch his face.

He jolted at her touch and moved away from her.

"What's wrong?" she said in concern, "What did Harry need you for?"

He looked at her, analysing her face before chuckling and shaking his face.

"Of course it would be about Harry," she heard him say under his breath before saying something else less audible.

A lightning shot of pain flashed across her temples and she groaned. She held her head and Ron reacted instantly. He pushed a vial into her hand and forced her to drink once more, she did as he instructed before laying down on the bed once more. He stood above her watching her concern in his eyes though he seemed angry about something too, angry at her or - himself?

"I'll let you sleep -"

"No," she said reaching out and grabbing his hand, he froze at her touch his back towards her, "Stay."

She heard him sniff, almost as though he was stopping himself from crying, but why? What was hurting him so much.

"I wish - I..." his voice broke and he took a step away but she held his hand tighter though the potion was making her feel weaker, "I wish you would stop -"

She blinked and the darkness pulled her back into sleep, she couldn't be sure but she thought she heard him say her name in a strange oddly disjointed way as though he wasn't really talking about her. His voice faded as did his words.

"I wish...her voice..."

She closed her eyes completely.

Her voice?

What did that mean?

_**Deja vu...happens to me a lot these days...but I try not to overanalyse it too much because its all in my head really...right?**_

She awoke to find the light streaming through the room. It took a few tries but she she registered the stone archway above her head and the long empty room.

She was in the infirmary.

The Hogwarts infirmary.

She sat up when she saw the person sitting next to her.

"Hello," Lavender said putting the magazine she had been reading down on her lap.

"What are you..." Hermione began before the reality of the situation rushed back to her.

This was the real world, not her dream world. She confirmed by looking out the window and hearing the familar sounds of school kids talking below as well as the Quidditch pitch off in the distance.

"What happened?" she said to her friend rubbing her head.

"You fainted apparently," Lavender explained, "They thought it was nothing at first until they realized you had hit your head on the way down. Lucky...he found you when he did."

"Here drink this," Lavender held out a flask for her and Hermione eyed it cautiously.

"What is it?"

"Madame Pomfrey says it will help with the swelling," she added quickly when Hermione looked at her in alarm, "you'll be fine in another hour or two."

Hermione took the flask and drank the liquid.

Memories began to rush back at her in a jumble.

"Ron..."

"Class," Lavender answered simply.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I had to deliver something to the school and when I heard what happened I thought I'd come check in on you."

Hermione nodded before repositioning herself on the bed. She looked at Lavender and wondered...

"How was your date?"

Lavender widened her eyes at her before smiling.

"It was better than I thought it would be."

Hermione felt herself scowl and Lavender frowned in response.

She moved closer to Hermione.

"Wh-"

"Lavender what are you still doing here girl?"

Lavender and Hermione turned to see the school nurse walking towards them.

"Aberforth has been looking for you."

"Oh bug- I mean shoot," Lavender stopped herself from cursing when the nurse raised an eyebrow at her, she turned back to look at Hermione, "Can we talk later?"

Hermione nodded though she didn't really want to spend more time with Lavender than was required at the moment.

She watched Lavender leave.

"You should be fine to leave, just as soon as you feel up to it," Madame Pomfrey said stopping herself dwelling too much on Ron and Lavender's relationship, "If you have anymore headaches come straight to me."

Hermione nodded her head and thanked the nurse.

_**I lost my memory a while back, did I ever tell you that?**_

_**It's not exactly the nicest feeling in the world. Like waking up one day and noticing that someone's rearranged everything in your house while you were sleeping. Now nothing is where its supposed to be and you can't even find your favorite teacup. Though I suppose it sounds quite trivial when I say it like that - **_

Hermione was changing back into her uniform, there was a curtain surrounding her bed so she had some privacy not that there was anyone else in the infirmary but she was told by Ginny, who had made a quick visit just as she was preparing to leave, that there was another grueling Quidditch training session today so she expected a few more Gryffindors to join her soon. She sat down on the bed and pulled on her socks, just as she reached down to put her shoes on a noise caught her attention.

She stood up from the bed and moved over to check out the noise. Pulling the curtain open slightly she saw Lena pulling some potions out of Madame Pompfrey's cupboard. There wouldn't be anything dangerous in the cupboard as they were usually just for quick fixes and the wizarding equivalent to paracetemol but the hurried manner in which Lena was looking through the bottles caused Hermione some concern. She quickly put on her shoes and pulled open the curtain, she wanted to find out what Lena was up to, whether or not someone was hurt, but by the time she had opened the curtain the girl was gone.

'Odd,' she thought to herself before walking over to check out the cupboard. Nothing appeared to be missing but then she couldn't be certain.

"Are you alright Miss Granger?"

Hermione turned to find the school nurse standing behind her a clipboard in on hand and a quill in the other.

"Uh," Hermione began biting her lip and turning to the cupboard once more, "What kind of things do you have in there?"

She took a long shot and guessed that the nurse wasn't on Umbridge's team of spies given the way she had behaved towards her and that she wouldn't find it odd for a servant to be snooping around the infirmary supplies.

The nurse frowned and Hermione started to doubt her logic but instead of scolding her the nurse simply replied,

"Simple ointments and potions for cuts and bruises, nothing more."

Hermione nodded her head.

"Ohh-" she said feeling completely ridiculous, "Well I'll just be going then."

The nurse watched her leave and Hermione tried to act as normal as possible but she let out a sigh when she had closed the doors to the infirmary.

The noise of laughter ahead of her stopped her short and she looked around her for a quick exit, she didn't want another surprise meeting with any Slytherin's. She needn't had concerned herself as it was a group of Gryffindor students. As she had expected they looked tired and were a little battleworn but nonetheless happy. Ginny was walking with the boys and talking to Angelina about something when she caught sight of Hermione and her face broke into a smile. She waited for the team to walk ahead to the infirmary before talking to her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better thanks," Hermione returned the smile before looking at the Gryffindors down the hall, "Good news I hope."

"Oh yeah," Ginny brushed it off but Hermione could tell she was esctatic, "The Ravenclaws have been a bit slack eversince they lost their captain."

"Did he graduate?"

Ginny frowned at her before shaking her head.

"No," she said slowly before reaching back and untying her hair from its high ponytail, "Zacharias Smith, he's - "

Ginny suddently stopped herself as though considering something before saying quickly,

"The guy who hangs around with Andrea."

Hermione considered this for a moment.

An image of a boy carrying Andrea's bag as they walked out of the D.A. meeting crossed her mind.

"Oh yeah," she said slowly.

"Stop staring."

Hermione turned to find Harry, Ron and Dean walking up the stairs to the hallway where Hermione and Ginny stood.

Dean had been the one who had spoken but both Ron and Harry now had identical expressionless faces that she wasn't sure who he had addressed that too.

"I should go," Hermione mumbled before walking away from Ginny.

She stopped at the top of the stairs when the boys walked past her, she didn't know what she was expecting but without hesitation or a single glance Ron continued to walk past her - almost as though she weren't even there, as though he didn't see her.

She glanced over her shoulder and saw Ginny join the boys as they headed to the infirmary.

"How's your hand?" she heard Ginny ask her brother but she had already turned and walked down the stairs so she couldn't hear his response. She briefly wondered what had happened to his hand before recollecting herself and headed to the kitchen to prepare the meal for the group once they had been checked by Madame Pomfrey.

_**There is an incredible sense of loss but the funny thing is that when you start to remember things it doesn't come back all at once and when it does - or if it does it doesn't always come back in the order that it should. One day you'll just find a book you loved reading as a child but turn around and see a whole bookshelf completely void. **_

Hermione faced a group of people staring open mouthed at her.

Then almost simultaneously they all shouted and voiced their objection to her.

"Are you mad?" "Bloody spy!" "Mind manipulation - memory charm - " "Polyjuice potion, I've heard it being used before..."

Hermione sat back down on the floor where everyone else in the D.A. was sitting, they were now talking amongst themselves. She had been reluctant to bring up the idea so soon but she was sure she had found the perfect spell she just needed to get them to at least agree to let her try. She hadn't even been able to tell them all the details but plenty of them had visibly recoiled at the thought. She looked around the room. A few where grabbing at Harry's hands to get his attention or perhaps get him on their side. Harry listened patiently, but ever the reluctant leader he seemed determined to hear them out but she knew he was already on board. He had told her as much just before she had entered the room.

Ginny was sitting next to her while Dean tried to make her see reason, for the most part Ginny ignored the boy and moved to lean back against the column behind her.

At the back of the group, she saw Ron standing watching the group. She hadn't had much opportunity to talk to him, she had wanted to apologise for the other night but at every missed opportunity it seemed more difficult to say the words or even to speak to him. Actually if it wasn't her imagination he seemed to be avoiding her.

She sighed and walked over to one group talking amongst themselves, she was instantly bombarded with complaints for her to see reason. She tried to explain the situation but she saw she wasn't going to convince anyone soon.

"I swear, she's turned spy on us," she heard someone whisper behind her, Hermione felt the blood drain from her body at the words.

"Hermione? Spy?" a disbelieving voice said in response.

"Well she spent all that time with Lena a few weeks ago, who knows what they did to her there."

Hermione felt her fingers clench angrily, she was many things, but she was no traitor. She was about to turn around and shout down the person who was talking about her when she heard a scuffle and everyone got their feet. Hermione got to her feet in time to see Ron standing in front of a hufflepuff boy.

"Have you got proof of that Smith?"

Hermione saw Andrea in the corner of her eye fold her arms and looking on the situation in amusement.

Zacharias smiled back at Ron.

"Everyone knows that your girlfriend -"

Ron took a menacing step forward and Zacharias stilled. Hermione shivered and she saw a few people around her do the same, just like the other night the room suddenly became colder.

"I - would - think - " Ron took another step and Hermione saw Harry move towards Ron as though prepared to restrain him, "very - carefully - before - you - speak."

Smith scoffed but he looked away from Ron.

Ron stepped away from Smith and it felt like the entire room released a collective sigh of relief.

Ron took a step back and his icy fascade disappeared.

"Besides," Ron began since he had everyone's attention, "I think its a good idea."

Hermione gaped at him but then quickly hid her shock.

He was trying to help her.

She saw a few Gryffindors look at each other as though to figure out what they had missed. She had heard that they all considered Ron, Harry's second and pretty much the strategist but she just didn't think much of it, until now that is. His words were clearly having an impact on the D.A. members.

"Let's face it, the odds have been against us eversince Umbridge arrived," he folded his arms and looked at Harry who nodded his head in agreement, "And this is pretty much the only card up our sleeve. If we could have someone on the inside, we could figure out what they want and how they plan to get it from us."

"But she's a Slytherin," someone whispered.

"That stuff stopped being important the instant they separated us by our blood. There's only us and them now and whoever wants to come over to our side, it means more numbers on our side and I'm not going to complain about that. The more we have on our side the better, all the more if that person can give us information on the other sides plans."

She saw a few people nodding their heads at this.

"Sounds great Weasley," Zacharias said looking at Ron distastefully, "But whose to say that you're not the one who has turned, she is afterall your fiance."

"I trust Ron with my life," Harry said instantly stepping up and standing beside Ron, "you wanna question that, you'll have a long line of people to get through."

The Hufflepuff rolled his eyes.

"Gryffindors," he mumbled before saying, "Well if we're going through with the stupid plan then at least let the rest of us choose whether we want to be in the same room with that Slytherin."

"Like I said," Hermione interrupted walking up to the centre of the room and she saw Ron's eyes follow her, "We'll test her first, feed her false information and see if she passes it on, and if she does then we'll forget the whole thing. If she doesn't then we have a good chance of getting information out of her."

"And besides," Harry added, "We won't bring her here at first, we'll take her somewhere else and no one has to be there who doesn't want to. I'm not going to order you to reveal yourselves to a potential spy."

"Harry," Hermione turned to look at him in disappointment.

"I know you trust her Hermione, but look around you, we've got to be absolutely certain before we put anyone here at risk."

Hermione nodded her head in understanding and there were murmurs as those around them discussed the issue further.

"We'll vote on it at the next meeting," Harry said before dismissing everyone.

The students stood around talking amongst themselves for a while though she noted that a few crowded around a Portrait hung on the left wall. It was a picture of a young girl standing alone in a forest path. It took a moment but the portrait soon swung open and the students quickly departed through the hole in the wall. It was the first time she noticed them leave through a portrait in the wall. She wondered where it led out but was distracted by Ron. He was still avoiding interacting with her directly but she was grateful that he had stood up for her and she had to admit that without him she probably wouldn't have gotten the D.A.'s collective though tentative approval.

"Always such a nuisance," she heard Andrea say as she walked past Hermione, Smith following her.

"Sick of him always on his high horse -" Smith said in response before they left the room.

'Lovely couple,' she though to herself before eyeing Ernie walking towards her and he looked furious.

"What the hell was that?" he said, voice low but clearly angry, "you know that she left the Slytherins so that she could stop being bullied and used and now you're putting her right back there?"

She looked at him guiltily.

"Sorry we didn't discuss this with you but she agreed to it."

Ernie frowned at her before turning and walking away.

"What'd he want?"

Hermione turned to find Ginny standing beside her nodding her head in Ernie's direction.

"Bit upset we didn't tell him about making Lena a double agent first."

She nodded in understanding and shifted her book bag on her shoulder, "So."

Hermione looked expectantly at Ginny but when she didn't speak Hermione stared at her in confusion.

"So?"

"You gonna tell me what happened between you and my brother?" Ginny said as she crossed her arms, "Cause he hasn't stopped staring at you since the end of the meeting."

Hermione furrowed her brows in confusion and frowned at her friend.

"Are you kidding?" she said glancing around to find the red head, he was currently speaking to Harry and Neville about something, "I think you need to get your eyes checked."

Ginny sighed in exasperation.

"What happened?"

"We had a bit of a - uh - fight..."

Ginny continued to stare at her and then when she realised Hermione wasn't going to elaborate she spoke.

"And?"

"And?" Hermione repeated in disbelief, "Isn't that enough?"

Ginny stared at Hermione a good ten seconds before bursting out laughing.

"Merlin's pants," the red head said brushing some tears from her eyes as she continued to laugh hysterically completely baffling Hermione and gaining the attention of everyone still in the room.

"What's so funny?" she questioned Ginny in genuine confusion.

"Are you kidding?" Ginny began before laughing again, she took a few breathes before explaining, "A semester, heck a month wouldn't have have passed without you guys having a row about something or other, the fact that you guys are having a fight is not exactly a shock to anyone."

"Well it is to me, before this he's been my master and though I've had glimpses of our past lives that person still doesn't feel like me...so..."

Realisation crossed Ginny's face.

"So, for you this was your first fight?"

"First real one, yes."

Ginny eyes widened and she instantly spun on her heels and turned to find her brother, Ron however was nowhere to be seen. There was a brief moment where Hermione could almost see the thoughts race through Ginny's mind before the red-head turned and plastered a smile on her face.

"Let's go," she said abrubtly grabbing Hermione by the shoulders and spinning around towards the door.

"Wh-where are we going?" Hermione said in surprise.

"First real fight," Ginny said through a tightly held smile, "we need ice cream, chocolates and lots of butterbeer, let's see if Dobby can set us up."

Hermione followed along behind Ginny but she saw something in the younger girls face and eyes almost as though there was something she was trying to hide from Hermione and at the same time something she wanted from her. Hermione thought back to their conversation but couldn't pin point what exactly had set Ginny off. She did however see the significant look that passed between Ginny and Harry as they walked passed him by the door.

She turned around in time to see Harry running out the door and turning the corner. She tried to stop to see where he was going in such a mad pace but Ginny was pulling on her arm quite painfully now.

"Ginny -" she tried to protest but the younger girl wasn't listening.

Once they had returned to Ginny's dorm room and Dobby had provided them with enough sweets to have a diabetic attack, Hermione watched Ginny's forced cheerfulness as she urged Hermione to tell her about her argument with Ron.

A few times the calm look slipped from Ginny's face but when she saw Hermione looking she quickly plastered on a smile and offered Hermione another butterbeer.

A few hours later as she drifted off to sleep in Ginny's bed she determined that whatever was happening had nothing to do with her - or perhaps everything...she just couldn't decide which one.

* * *

Ron watched Hermione from the corner of his eye. She was talking to Ginny.

He watched the girl - the one who was walking around in his Hermione's skin but was in every way different to her.

Same yet different.

He turned his head in disgust and left the room, ignoring the calls of people he passed.

He walked down the dark corridor lit only by the moonlight.

In the shadows he saw her looking. He ignored her for now, he knew she wasn't real, couldn't be real.

He was soon walking out of the school and down towards the lake, he heard the crunch of the gravel beneath his feet until it changed to the soft squish of the sand and rock that surrounded the lake.

He sighed. Took a deep breath and slowly released it.

The cold air cut at his skin but more than that it felt like her tiny fingers grabbing at him.

That night - that night that he had argued with that other Hermione, he felt - he knew he was losing control. The person he had created, the person who was normal, who wouldn't through chairs through windows and wouldn't go on a rampage every time something or someone reminded him of his Hermione.

He bent his head down fighting the urge to allow that person back out.

The words she threw at him had hurt, hurt like hell especially when it was her voice, her mouth her beautiful eyes that were saying those things to him. And for an instant he had faltered - he had questioned the world around him.

Was this real or was he still in that room?

Was this world around him just another hell that his mind had created. A world with Hermione but not _his_ Hermione.

He looked up at the sky trying to ignore the fingers grabbing at him - the voice calling out to him.

It wasn't real, she wasn't real - she couldn't be real...

"_Ron.."_

He scrunched up his eyes and ignored the voice.

She wasn't real - would never be real.

He reached into his pocket and drew out the bottle of pills that the healer had given him on his latest check up.

He looked at the bottle - at war with himself.

"_M__y Ron...Ron..."_

If he took them then she would disappear...and he knew, the rational part of him knew it was for the best...she wasn't real...could never be...

He felt her fingers touch his face, the cold slender fingers reaching up to wipe the tears that he didn't even know had fallen down his face.

"_Ronald..."_

Hermione looked up at him, her eyes full of love and sadness.

"_My brave Ron...its alright..." her soft voice soothed him, "I'll always be here, I'm always with you..."_

He looked at the bottle in his hand once more.

"If I take these, I won't see you," he said half pleading half in anger.

"_My love," _was all she said before her fingers reached out to hold his hand, the hand that held the bottle.

She reached up and touched his face so that he was looking at her once more rather than their intwined fingers.

"_Fight for me Ron, fight for me and I will return to you."_

"I don't want you to go," he said to her, and his Hermione, his kind beautiful Hermione smiled up at him and he spoke the words he had kept inside for so long, "If you go again...I can't be strong."

"_Oh Ron," _she said in response that smile on her face, that smile that she used to have - that told him how much she loved him despite how idiotic he was behaving or perhaps because of it,_ "You were always the strong one, if you're not strong how will I be?" _

Ron's chest ached as he looked at her.

"_Take the pills Ronald," _she said in that voice that told him to trust her and how could he argue with that?

He looked at her once more before looking at the pills in his hand.

He nodded and took the pills.

He swallowed them and looked at Hermione.

She smiled at him proudly and with so much love.

He reached across and touched her face but he saw his fingers pass through nothingness.

"_I love you,"_ her voice whispered to him and he felt a cold kiss pressed to his lips, _"so much."_

He closed his eyes to prolong the moment but it was gone all too soon and when he opened his eyes once more he was standing alone on the shore of the lake.

He fell to his knees, clenching his fists.

He could feel that dark side of himself warring to get out. Thrashing and screaming and shouting to be let free. To tear this place down and watch as it burned and fell to dust before his eyes.

He swallowed and imagined Hermione's face once more and the darkness was pushed away to the back of his mind, into the dark corner of his mind. Hidden for the time being.

He leaned back and stared up at the sky.

He heard someone approach him from behind and his hand was on his wand instantly.

"He-hey Ron," Harry's uncertain voice spoke, "Whatcha' doin' out here...in the middle of the night?"

He turned and saw the hesitant and cautious look in his friends eyes.

"Don't look so worried Harry," Ron said getting up from the ground, "Just needed a moment to myself is all."

Harry was still tense as he watched Ron approach him.

"Just wondering - you know cause I'm your best friend and all and I care about you..." Harry took a step back from Ron when he stopped in front of him, "H-have you taken your medicine for today?"

Ron felt saddened and yet completely understood why Harry looked so frightened of him right now.

"I'm fine," he said showing Harry the bottle in his hands.

Harry reached over and took the bottle counting the pills inside them before sighing in relief and handing them back to him.

"Sorry 'bout that - just - well Ginny seemed worried about you."

Ron nodded his head.

"It's forgotten," Ron said in reply and they turned to walk back to school.

Ron glanced back at the lake, for an instant an image of Hermione watching him flashed before his eyes before it disappeared. He turned and walked away.

_**Hermione watched Ron leave before looking out towards the lake.**_

_**She saw the darkness approaching but for the time being it was held at bay. Ron had made sure of that. **_

_**She closed her eyes and tried to breath the night air but knew she could not. She sighed before feeling her body dissolve into nothingness.**_


	28. The day when

**AN: I noticed a few new readers seem confused about the format of the chapters:**

**BOLD = Hermione is writing/talking to Lance**

_**Bold Italics = Hermione's memories/flashbacks**_

* * *

**Chapter 22 - The day when **

Hermione woke with an ache in her neck the next morning. She turned to see that Ginny was sleeping at an odd angle on the bed, giving Hermione no choice but to sleep curled up on side of the bed, her legs half dangling off the bed.

She turned, hissing at the shooting pain in her neck. The noise caused Ginny to wake and sit up in the bed.

The red head rubbed her eyes, blinked and turned to look at Hermione. A few seconds of confusion before Ginny's eyes widened and threw the bed covers off and cursed a few choice words.

"I'm late!" Ginny said frantically, "Why didn't Katie wake me..."

Ginny continued getting ready, running around the room, almost slipping as she simultaneously put on her shirt while pulling up her socks and jamming her feet into a shoe before cursing some more and falling to her hands and knees while searching under her bed for the other shoe.

Hermione resisted the urge to laugh at how adorable Ginny was and how much she was like her brother. Instead she jumped off the bed, avoiding Ginny running past her to grab her school tie while jumping up and down cursing the lost shoe which if she ever found would be promptly be tossed into the nearest fire for daring to lose itself.

"What's this doing here?"

Ginny's head popped up from the other side of the bed a surprised look on her face.

Hermione looked over to see the object in her hands. Ginny was turning a fluffy orange object in her hand. Hermione recalled the previous night when she had picked up an orange toy from Ron's bed before collapsing. She must have been holding onto it until they had brought her to the school hospital. Maybe Madame Pompfrey assumed it was hers and put it in her pocket for her. She was about to open her mouth to explain when Ginny yelped when she saw the clock by her bed.

"I'll give this to Ron later," Ginny said offhandedly before placing the orange object in her pocket and disappearing under the bed once more.

Hermione wanted to ask Ginny more about the orange toy and about her brother but she was late for class and her curiosity would just have to wait.

Hermione pulled out her wand.

"Accio - Ginny's school shoe," Hermione had to quickly amend the spell remembering that she was in a girls dormitory and she didn't know how many pairs of shoes would come flying at her if she had just accio'ed 'girls shoe'.

The offending shoe flew out from Ginny's desk and landed neatly in Hermione's hand.

Ginny jumped over the bed and grabbed it, thanking Hermione while running out the door.

"Bag -" Hermione said running after her friend, she made it to the top of the girls staircase before Ginny came barreling back up them.

"Lifesaver," Ginny puffed hugging her before running down the stairs, causing Hermione to cringe at the haphazard manner she was putting on the left shoe while tying up her hair.

She chuckled before walking back into the room.

She saw the mess that they had made the night before, scraps of food littered the floor and empty bottles of butterbeer. She pushed up her sleeves and began to clean up. She had just begun to pick up the food when she stopped, looked around the room before taking out her wand and making quick work of what would have been an hours work.

She smiled at her handiwork, the wand feeling so natural in her fingers and she itched to do more wandwork. She walked over to Ginny's desk and picked up the earmarked and tea stained spells and enhancements text. She sat down at the desk and began to flip through the books.

She was just practicing the wand movement of one of the charms when her hand froze in mid-air.

"**It's not LevioSAR - its Le-vi-O-SA, you have to enunciate properly..."**

**Ron snorted and rolled his eyes at her.**

Hermione shook her head causing the memory to drift away as quickly as it had come.

More and more, as memories of the past flashed back to her, she felt as though she was intruding on something private, something she shouldn't be seeing without the permission of those involved. Like finding someone's journal and reading through it just because the wind happened to blow it open.

She swallowed.

Her mind was a mess. She didn't understand how she felt and she had no right to even go near Ron without figuring it out. She had treated him horribly and despite it all he had tried to help her. Had stood up for her when the others had bad mouthed or distrusted her.

She rubbed the side of her temples as another attack of pain shot through her head.

His conduct proved what she had gradually become aware of. That he deserved someone better than her. He didn't deserve someone half broken and shattered like her, who didn't know up from down.

She bit her lip when she felt her throat tense.

It was nothing more than the truth after all.

_His_ Hermione was perfect and she wouldn't - couldn't even compare.

What right did she have to get upset when he dated other girls?

Hermione held her head in her hands feeling another headache coming, she shook herself and picked up her wand once more.

She was just going to have to do her best as she was.

* * *

**There's a girl I've become friends with, she's not like other people but I think I like her more because of it. And the strangest thing is I think she's the one who knows me better than - well better than at least one other person I know.**

* * *

Hermione was sitting at window seat when Lena finally returned from afternoon classes. She had been staring out across the school gardens and into the distance. She saw the Ravenclaw team practicing at the Quidditch pitch and something twisted inside her.

She was pondering what had caused that sensation when a shadow passed over her, she jumped when she turned and found Lena staring at her.

"Merlin's pant's you scared me half to death," Hermione said catching her breath.

Rather than reply, Lena walked over and began watering the little plants on the windowsill.

Hermione watched her progress, not sure how she should phrase her question. After a moment and without looking up, Lena asked,

"What's on your mind?"

Hermione shifted so that she was facing Lena.

"Last time you said you knew why...well why I felt the way I do towards Ron."

Lena looked at her for a moment before moving to her desk and placing her bag on the table.

"Continue," Lena said as she took out her books from her bag and placed them on the table.

Hermione bit her lip before continuing.

"Why do I feel this way?"

Lena remained silent, continuing to put her books away before taking a seat at her desk. After a moment she turned to look at Hermione. She had that usual expressionless look on her face which made it as always hard to tell what she was thinking even worse since she was wearing those thick grasshopper glasses.

"I mean," Hermione said getting up from the window seat and began pacing the floor, "I know you said that if I don't find out for myself than it would be pointless, but can't you just - can't you help me - give me a hint?"

She turned desperately to Lena. She needed to figure this out, she had to.

Lena simply continued watching her and Hermione turned to continue pacing.

"I don't think you need my help," Lena said after watching Hermione pace the length of the room a few times.

Hermione turned to look at her in confusion.

"Weasley told me that you were the smartest witch he had ever met," Lena continued, "Does the smartest witch of our age need someone else to tell her the answers?"

Hermione closed her eyes, took a deep breath and unclenched her fists.

"That was the _other_ Hermione."

Hermione opened her eyes to find Lena had turned her back to her and was now leafing through a spell book.

"Lena?" Hermione said walking towards her, she reached out a hand to get the girls attention but Lena suddenly spun around wand pointed at her.

Hermione's eyes widened but her body reacted before she had even time to register what was happening.

"PROTEGO!" she heard herself shout before a magical shield shimmered between her and Lena before disappearing, "What are you -?"

"Stupefy," Lena cut Hermione off.

"Ennervate!" Hermione swung back taking a step towards Lena, pointed her wand at a textbook and said, "Mobilarbus."

The book hit Lena in the side of the head and she was momentarily distracted.

"Locomotor Mortis!"

"Relashio," Lena countered after a few seconds of wobbling.

Lena unbinded her legs before standing before Hermione once more, she lifted her wand but before she could even open her mouth Hermione countered.

"Pertificus Totalis!" Hermione watched as her fingers and hand moved expertly through the air, Lena had jumped out of the way before the spell hit and they both turned to look at the burn mark on the wood on the wall.

They were both breathing heavily and Lena took a step back to sit down on her desk chair.

Hermione still felt on guard but when she saw Lena put her wand on her desk she felt her body relax. She turned to stare at her wand in her hand.

"How did I...?"

She looked over at Lena when she felt the girls eyes on her, looking at Hermione innocently through her bug-eyed glasses.

"You...you attacked me!" Hermione said in shock.

Lena shrugged her shoulders.

"Well you said that it was the other Hermione who was smart," Lena said as she brushed some dust off of her skirt.

Hermione watched her for a moment.

"You were...trying to making a point?" She huffed, "You could have hurt me."

Lena shifted her glasses which had been knocked askew by the textbook Hermione had sent flying at her head. She took the glasses off when they slipped down her nose, she examined them for a moment, placed them on the table before opening her desk drawer and taking out the glasses Ernie's mother had given her.

"I doubt it," Lena said after she placed the green and silver glasses on, Hermione eyes widened slightly a the difference the glasses made to Lena's face, she looked quite cute actually, they framed her pale angular face perfectly.

"...dueling was never a favourite subject of mine," Lena explained to assure Hermione that she was in no real danger.

"Okay okay," Hermione replied pinching the bridge of her nose, "I get what you were trying to prove, you're saying that parts of the old Hermione still exist in me, I don't even know half the spells I just cast and yet they came so naturally."

Lena pushed some of her long blond hair out of her eyes and continued to sit watching her.

Hermione twisted her wand between her fingers.

"I think I get it," Hermione said taking a deep breath, "That Hermione is me and I am her but at the same time we are different...which means...which means"

She trailed off and put her wand into her pocket.

"I have some thinking to do."

* * *

**Do you believe in fate or destiny? I didn't either, for so long I have been struggling against everyone's expectations of me, maybe its become almost my default setting. So much so that I end up fighting even those who only want the best for me. **

* * *

"If you're waiting for Ron to talk to you first you'll have a long wait."

Hermione started and turned around. She had opened the boys dorm room door open to see if Ron was inside but was startled by Harry's voice behind her. She looked at the dark haired boy sheepishly.

"Sorry," she said.

"It's alright," Harry said in response and she realised that this was the first time that they had a proper conversation alone. She briefly wondered what kind of relationship she had with Harry and how much he truly trusted her. She always got the sense that he was always on edge, keeping people at a distance and not trusting anyone around him except for those lucky few, like Ron and maybe Ginny...was she on that exclusive list?

"Like I said," Harry interrupted her thoughts, "I remember you guys have a fight that lasted a whole semester..."

Harry seemed to drift off in his own thoughts for a moment. Hermione frowned at him.

"You know about the fight then?"

It was Harry's turn to look sheepish now.

"Yeah...Ginny told me," he scratched the back of his and looked at her, "Sorry."

Hermione shook her head.

"Don't worry about it, its fine," she sighed, "I just wanted to talk to Ron, try to apologise."

Harry raised an eyebrow at her.

"Hang on...you're going to apologise to him?"

She nodded her head at him.

"Hermione Granger apologise to Ron Weasley," Harry chuckled, "I wish I could see that, its got to be recorded for historic purposes."

He continued to laugh but Hermione just looked at him quizzically.

"Oh right," he said when he realised she was staring at him, "You wouldn't remember - most of your fights were due to him saying or doing something idiotic. You wouldn't believe how many times I told him to just apologise but he was and still is, so stubborn...actually you both are...it would be torture being your friend sometimes."

"I can imagine," Hermione replied, imagining how hard it must have been for Harry to be in the middle of so many fights. Even if she couldn't remember it, she could sympathise with Harry.

"Well this time, it was me who said something idiotic and thoughtless, I really need to see him and apologise."

Harry's face suddenly became serious.

"No," he said bluntly, "No, if you are the one who he's angry at then do - not - see - him."

"What? But I have to -"

"NO!" Harry shouted at her grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her, "Just don't."

Hermione pushed Harry off her angrily.

"Don't order me around Harry," she said indignantly, "I did something wrong, said awful things to him and if I leave it the worse it gets."

"Hermione," Harry said seriously his face darkening, "You can't, you weren't there, you don't know the Ron that we do."

"Wha-"

"You think Ron is this fun loving person -"

She was about to interject that she knew more about him then that. He was sweet, kind and hardworking, he didn't let on how hard he worked because he knew that his efforts wouldn't compare to his best friends or his siblings but he worked hard and worried about shaming his family. He looked out for his sister, stood up for his friends...

Hermione's throat ran dry as the words passed through her head.

This was the person who she had said she hated?

She looked up at Harry.

"I don't care what you say Harry, I am going to apologise to him."

She moved to walk past him but Harry grabbed her arm to physically stop her.

"Hermione," he released her arm but moved to stand in her way, "It's dangerous."

"What are you talking about? Ron would never hurt me."

Hermione watched Harry's stern expression.

"Harry?" she said after he continued to stare at her.

Harry sighed.

"I shouldn't be the one telling you this," Harry said looking down, "We were all messed up after you erased your memory and forced us to carry out your insane plan. If it were up to me you'd be back in the muggle world, living a normal life. But..."

Harry sighed again before opening the door to the dorm room and ushering her inside.

"If I'm going to tell you this we can't let anyone else hear."

Hermione cautiously followed Harry inside the room and he closed it before placing an impervious and silencing charm on the room.

"Okay," she said folding her arms, "Enough with the cloak and dagger act, what's going on."

Harry looked up from the ground to look at her.

"You should sit down."

* * *

**How selfish I have been thinking this whole time that I was the one who had carried the heaviest burden...how stupid and childish I was to get upset over the smallest things while those around me, those I care about have been hurting alone. **

* * *

_**Ron watched his father place Hermione in her bed. He looked around the room. Hermione's childhood room. He saw pictures of her smiling with her parents, he picked up a nearby moving picture of him and Hermione laughing. Harry had taken it without them realising it because there was a carefree and childish innocence captured in their smiles with a hint of adolescent awkwardness in their eyes as they looked at each other.**_

_**Ron pocketed the picture, they would be removing any traces of their relationship with Hermione anyway, no one would miss this one, certainly not Hermione.**_

_**He glanced at the doorway where Mrs and Mr Granger was listening to his father explain what had happened to Hermione and hand over a letter she had addressed to them. **_

_**He saw Lupin move over to the adults to talk and Harry was standing in the corner brooding.**_

_**He sat down on the bed and looked at Hermione's sleeping face.**_

_**A few hours before they had been promising to be together always, for each other, for Harry...and now it was all gone.**_

_**He reached over and touched her small hand, he held it for a moment before turning and looking out the window. **_

_**He hated her and loved her so much, it was unbearable.**_

_**He rubbed his eyes hiding his tears and placing her hand softly back on the bed. He watched the slow rise and fall of her body and reached over to sweep a few loose strands of curly hair out of her face.**_

"_**Maybe you loved me," he whispered to her so that no one else could hear him, "But you didn't love me the way I loved you."**_

_**He was certain of that, if she had loved him even half as much as he did her there was no way she was leave him like this. They could have figured something out, so what if they had argued about the best course forward, about her returning to Hogwarts. That didn't mean that she had to do something without thinking - well he had to correct himself, if Hermione did anything it was over-think every scenario, what she didn't do was think about was how it would affect him. **_

_**He felt someone touch his shoulder and looked up to find Mrs Granger looking at him sadly.**_

"_**I'm sorry," he said guiltily, "I promised you over and over that I would take care of her, that I wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt her..."**_

_**He shook his head in disbelief at the situation.**_

"_**I just didn't think - I would have to protect her against herself."**_

"_**Ronald," the way she said his name echoed so much of Hermione's tone of voice that he almost broke down then and there, how long before he would be able to hear her call him that way again, so much spoken in just one word, in just his name.**_

"_**We don't blame you," Mrs Granger continued.**_

"_**You're husband looked ready to murder me when we flooed into your living room," Ron interjected.**_

"_**Well that's him, Jim being Jim, he'll never admit it but it eased his heart knowing that it was you who was taking care of his little girl," she looked over to where Harry stood, arms folded in corner of the room in deep contemplation, "Trouble seemed to follow Harry but you, you just seemed like a good egg."**_

_**He couldn't help but laugh at the way she described him but it was shallow empty laugh and she must have realised because she squeezed his shoulder before walking over to stand next to her husband.**_

_**Some time later his father moved to stand next to him.**_

"_**Time to go son."**_

"_**You did a fine job," Lupin said from the other side of the room, "Time to let her parents take care of her."**_

"_**Job huh?" he laughed mirthlessly, is that what they thought she was to him, a job?**_

_**He took a deep breath before following his father from the room, he took a shaky step across the doorway and didn't look back, refused to, he knew if he turned and saw her sleeping - unguarded face, in a room, in a house which wasn't the one they had shared for over a year, his resolve would dissapear and he would run back to her, swearing never to leave her side again. **_

_**Everytime he left her something happened. **_

_**The first time she was attacked by the bassilisk, the second - he closed his eyes as the crashing sound of the shrieking shack echoed in his ears - the second time she had almost died and this final time she had erased and altered her own memory with some unknown spell that left who knows what kind of mental damage behind. **_

_**He saw Harry waiting for him at the top of the step and took another step forward.**_

"_**Goodbye Hermione."**_

"_**We'll keep her here, away from Magic," Mr Granger said as they all sat around living room, still slightly covered in ash from their arrival.**_

"_**I agree," Harry said in that voice that suggested finality, as though he was the one to make the decisions for everyone else, well not this bloody time damn it.**_

"_**Do you think I didn't try to convince her of that," Ron said in response, "We argued for days about what to do, she insisted on coming back to help but we both knew that the instant she stepped back into that world they would interrogate her and as smart and strong as she is there was no telling what methods they would use to find out what she had been up to for the last year, how much information they would get out of her."**_

_**Then you agree with me," Harry said darkly, "I won't stand by and watch anymore people I love get hurt for my sake."**_

_**Ron felt like throwing the cup of tea in hands at the wall but his time with Hermione had changed him, or at least he thought it had enough for him to get through this, to fight for her - for what she had risked her life to achieve.**_

"_**If you think Harry Potter, that I will let her erase her memory only to go back to the muggle world you don't know me at all," Ron said through clenched teeth.**_

"_**What, so you're going to let her go back and allow them to interrogate her?" Harry turned to Hermione's parents before he had a chance to reply, "You won't let her go back will you."**_

"_**THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!" Ron shouted slamming the cup down on the coffee table causing a few people to jump. **_

"_**I, more than anyone want her safe, but she performed an unknown spell on herself just so that she could carry out her plan, the worst plan in the world if you ask me but its her plan, her choice, her decision and it doesn't matter what you want - what I want or what anyone in this room wants because damn it she already made the decision for us."**_

_**Ron was breathing quickly and his father stepped forward in concern but he shook his head at him, he needed to get this out, had to defend her decision even if he thought she was bloody insane for choosing this path.**_

"_**Harry," he said seriously hands clenched at his sides, "You're my best mate but if you think I'm going to let her sacrifice mean nothing, if you think - that I am just going to let you make a mockery of her decision than don't understand anything about what we have been through - you don't understand how much I - "**_

_**Ron swallowed and closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself.**_

"_**You don't understand how much I - love her." **_

_**He heard Mr Granger choke on his tea behind him.**_

"_**Ouch!" he heard the man say guessing that his wife must have jabbed him in the ribs.**_

_**He opened his eyes and saw Harry staring at him, he opened his mouth to speak but Ron cut him off.**_

"_**If the next words out of your mouth are 'I know' then I will hit you Harry."**_

_**For the first time that night, Harry's face broke into a smile. **_

"_**I was going to say," Harry said unfolding his arms, "You're right, you know probably know her better than anyone here, except her parents," he stressed the last words.**_

_**Harry turned to look at Hermione's parents.**_

"_**It's ultimately up to you what you want to do."**_

_**Ron turned to look at the Grangers, Mrs Granger's knowing smile made him blush and her husbands scowl made him smile nervously.**_

"_**Hermione always had a mind of her own," Hermione's mother said moving to hold her husbands hand, "I don't want her in danger but she told us when this whole thing started that there was no guarantee that either she or us would be completely out of danger no matter where we were. The best place, she had told us, would be in plain sight where you could see the enemy coming."**_

"_**You keep us informed of everything that happens," her father interjected, "At the first hint of trouble we're taking her out of that school and taking her somewhere far away, I don't care what anyone says, I may not have powers like any of you but I am her father and I will protect my family at all cost."**_

_**Ron nodded his head.**_

"_**I understand," and he meant it, he looked away from their faces, he knew it better than they realised, because over the last year Hermione had become his family. He hadn't even told Hermione of the stupid thoughts he'd had of their futures together. He was too embarrassed and to be honest those thoughts had scared him a little, they were barely fifteen after all - they was no telling what their futures held. Hermione was just so brilliant in anything that there was no way he was going to be the thing that stopped her achieving her goals. They would win this fight one day and when that day came she was going to be free to do whatever her heart desired, even if it meant that he wasn't part of that world, he wanted her to be happy. **_

_**He didn't even realise how long he was standing there but the next moment he was pushed towards the chimney, he watched Lupin throw some floo powder into the grating before stepping inside, Hermione father stared at the chimney in awe, leaning forward to stare up the chimey before Harry pulled him back when the fires shot back up. **_

_**He felt himself being turned around and Mrs Granger placed a hand on his cheek.**_

"_**Thank you for taking care of her," she said a tear falling down her cheek before she hugged him.**_

_**He returned her hug but the numbess he had felt since they had found her unconscious a few hours ago was beginning to spread. **_

"_**Don't thank me," he said almost inaudibly but she heard him and looked at him in concern and sadness before he turned and stepped into the fireplace. **_

_**His mother wrapped him up in her arms the instant he got back. He stumbled forwards when she released him not hearing the words she was saying. He saw his brother's smiling faces swim in front of him, perhaps teasing him for the manner in which they had walked in on him and Hermione earlier that night but he didn't hear them either. Ginny grabbed him and tried to hug him but he pushed past her. He just continued walking out of that suffocating room, that house that wasn't were he belonged anymore...he walked until he reached the fields by his family home. **_

_**The sky was dark - how long ago was it now since he had held her in his arms and told her - finally told her the words he had been thinking for the last few months, probably years.**_

_**He screamed at the night. **_

_**Screamed and shouted and cursed until his voice became hoarse and fell to the ground in exhaustion sobbing.**_

_**He pounded at the ground, at the earth, at the world that he was cursed to live, to live without her. **_

_**He wanted to end it all.**_

_**He didn't know how long he had stayed like that, but when his father and brothers finally picked him up, the sky was lighter and the sun was rising.**_

_**His mother forced soup into his mouth and covered him with blankets but he blocked it all out.**_

_**He couldn't deal with it right now. **_

"_**...out there all night screaming his lungs out ..." his mother's voice drifted in and out but he couldn't take anything in right now.**_

_**He stood up from the table where his family was sitting and walked up the stairs, he heard his mother shouting after him but he blocked it out. Fred grabbed his arm to stop him but he shook him off. He didn't want to hear his brothers jokes right now. **_

_**He pushed open the door to his bedroom. **_

_**He looked around at the small desolate room imagining instead the home he had created for Hermione. He stepped inside and closed the door. He moved to the window and stared at the world outside.**_

_**Did it even know how much he had lost that night?**_

_**The girl he loved was gone. Her body remained - like a shell but her soul, her mind, everything that made her her was - **_

_**He swallowed, tasting blood in his mouth but not caring. **_

_**What did this small physical pain matter. It was nothing to how much he was hurting internally. **_

_**He fell to the floor and sobbed, unable to look out at the bright blue sky. Somewhere out there Hermione was waking, to a world where he didn't exist, to a world where they didn't mean anything to each other. **_

"_**Why," he said hoarsely as he lay on the floor, "Why Hermione?"**_

_**Some time later, he really didn't know how long, he saw Harry stand above him, his friend tried to lift him off the floor but Ron just fell limply back.**_

_**Finally his friend gave up trying to move him and simply sat against the wall watching him for the longest time. Maybe he had tried to talk to him, maybe he didn't but Ron heard nothing. **_

_**A few people came and went but he didn't bother looking to see who they were. Harry stayed the longest but he soon left him alone.**_

_**The room darkened and the door slammed open, his mother shouted at him about something before he felt George lift him up off the floor enough for his mother to spoon food into his mouth. **_

_**He wasn't sure how much time passed, except that the room light filled his room and emptied from his room a few more times before he finally lifted himself off the floor. **_

_**He pushed himself off the floor, his body ached, he was hungry - starving actually. **_

_**His legs wobbled slightly and he held onto the bed post for support before walking out of the room and down the long flight of stairs to the kitchen. He heard talking from the living area but he headed straight to the kitchens. He sat down at the table and the house instantly fell silent. **_

_**The next moment his whole family burst into the kitchen.**_

_**He felt himself being hugged and his hair being ruffled a few times before a large bowl of warm stew and bread placed in front of him. He ate like he had never eaten before and that was saying something.**_

_**His family laughed and he thought he saw his mother smile though she was wiping her eyes with her apron.**_

_**He saw Fred across from him give him a genuine smile.**_

_**He saw his brother's mouth move but didn't hear the words.**_

_**His mother ladled more and more food into his bowl and Ginny kept bringing him drinks though she was famous for hoarding the butterbeers and soda's, she seemed more than happy to bring every drink in the house in front of him tonight.**_

_**George showed him a new chocolate candy that exploded in your mouth. He ate a few.**_

_**Someone placed a picture of a rare dragon in front of him and he glanced up to see Bill talking to him. **_

_**Finally he wiped his mouth on his sleeve and stood up from the table.**_

_**He walked to the stairs but stopped and turned to his family.**_

"_**Thank you," he said to them hoarsely, he turned back to the stairs, "I love you all."**_

_**He had only taken one step on the stairs when he felt someone tackle him.**_

"_**I love you too big brother," Ginny sobbed as she hugged him from behind.**_

_**He squeezed her hand before pushing her off him and making his way back up the stairs to his room. **_

_**He closed the door and took a few deep breaths. **_

_**He knelt down and pulled out his school bag from under the bed. He grabbed a few clothes from his wardrobe some money he had saved which he had hidden under a loose board under his bed and carefully removed the picture which he had taken from Hermione's house and placed it inside a small book before shoving it inside the bag with the rest of his things.**_

_**He tidied up the room, hid the bag under his bed and went to take a long needed bath.**_

_**He wiped the mist on the mirror and saw Hermione standing behind him, he turned but he was alone.**_

_**He turned back and saw his reflection. He pulled out some scissors from the cabinet and clipped his overgrown hair shorter than he had ever cut it before. Hermione liked his hair short. **_

_**He washed his face a few times, cleaned up the bathroom before walking out of the bathroom. **_

_**Someone patted him on the shoulder and he glanced across to see his father staring down at him. His father spoke and hugged him. **_

_**He watched his father walk up the stairs to his parents room before walking back to his own room.**_

_**He sat on his bed for a long time. **_

_**Looked out the window for a long time before walking over and sitting at his desk.**_

_**He pulled out a piece of spare parchment and wrote these simple words, **_

"_**I love you all. Don't worry about me. Just need some time.**_

_**Don't try to find me."**_

_**R.W.~**_

_**He waited for the ink to dry, stared at the words on the page before folding the letter up. He put on a jacket, shoved his wand in his pocket, pulled on his backpack before walking down the stairs. **_

_**He looked around the living area of his family home before walking into the kitchen and placing the letter on the table. **_

_**He turned around once more to look at his childhood home before walking out the door.**_

* * *

Hermione stared at Harry.

"He left?" Hermione clenched and unclenched her fists, "Did you find him?"

"We tried," Harry said angrily punching the wall beside him, "But he didn't want to be found."

"It was Sirius who finally found him, dragged him away from a bar fight, got a punch in the face for the effort, but he managed to apparate them both back to the Weasley's before he could get away."

"That's why you want me to stay away from him," Hermione said after a few moments silence, "I wouldn't want Ron to be near me either after all that."

"You're wrong," Harry stopped her from continuing, "That's not the reason. We found him but the Ron that Sirius brought back with him was not the Ron we knew."

* * *

"_**Ouch," Harry said watching Molly Weasley rub ointment onto his Godfather's face, "Who did that to you."**_

"_**Ron," Sirius scoffed, "Idiot didn't even recognise me and thought I was one of the several people ganging up on him in that bar fight."**_

"_**We won't ever be able to thank you enough -" Molly began but Sirius cut her off.**_

"_**Before you get too carried away I have to admit Molly that I hit your little boy a few times. Had to really, to stop him as well as defend myself. Even before I recognised him I thought he was going to take down everyone in that pub before setting the whole place on fire."**_

_**Sirius smile disappeared and he looked at the Weasley family gathered in the living room, all except Arthur and Bill who were upstairs with Ron. **_

"_**I think you ought to prepare yourselves for the person I brought back here," Sirius said slowly, "I've seen that look in a man's eyes before, seen it countless times in Azkaban."**_

_**Sirius closed his eyes as though reliving the time he spent in prison before opening them once more and looking at each of them in turn.**_

"_**It's the eyes of someone who has lost all hope," Sirius looked at his bloodied hand before continuing, "Its the eyes of someone who wouldn't recognise family from enemy, who wouldn't care either way because they think their life is over and they just don't care who they take down with them." **_

"_**What do we do?" Ginny said trying to put on a strong face though her face was wet with tears as were her mothers.**_

"_**I think we need help," Sirius sighed hanging his head, "Professional help."**_

"_**You don't think..." George began slowly looking at his twin who had a nasty bruise from where Ron had punched him and his own arm where his brother had scratched him as they had tried to restrain him, "That he would be a serious danger to any of us do you?"**_

"_**I wouldn't rule it out."**_

_**Everyone turned to find Arthur standing in the doorway looking grim.**_

"_**Arthur," Molly said instantly jumping up to defend her son.**_

"_**No Molly," Arthur shook his head at his wife, "It's no use lying to ourselves, it's what we did before he ran away and we can't repeat those same mistakes."**_

"_**I have to agree Molly," Sirius said standing up from his chair and walking over to stare at the fire, "But I think the bigger concern is that he may harm himself."**_

_**Everyone jumped to their feet at the sound shattering of glass was heard from above and the crashing noise of furniture being thrown against the walls.**_

_**The whole Weasley family, Harry and Sirius simultaneously scrambled up the stairs.**_

_**They found Bill Weasley holding the door closed with his hands. He stepped away from the door to Ron's room when he saw his family run towards him.**_

"_**He's fine, can't get out, not after the spells dad and I cast to keep him in...but..."**_

"_**Sounds like he's tearing the whole place down," Fred said no hint of the usual humour in his voice, "Mum maybe you should take Ginny downstairs."**_

"_**Shut up Fred," Ginny said instantly, "He's my brother too."**_

_**Harry smiled slightly at that before he turned back to Bill and Mr Weasley.**_

"_**We can't keep him locked up like some wild animal," Molly Weasley said desperately, "But ..."**_

"_**Stay back everyone," Sirius said walking over to Arthur, "We should try to stop him from hurting himself and then you can all talk about what to do next."**_

_**He patted Arthur on the shoulder and the two men nodded at each other.**_

"_**Bill," Arthur said, and Bill took out his wand and pointed at the door.**_

"_**On three," Bill said.**_

"_**One - *CRASH* - Two - Ron's shouting and screaming filled the air - Three!"**_

_**The door clicked open and the three men ran into the room, grabbed Ron by the arms and legs.**_

_**Ron was cursing and shouting at them all, he didn't even look like Ron at that moment, his eyes dark and cold.**_

_**They were struggling to get a hold of him and Bill stumbled back when Ron kicked him in the face.**_

**"Pertificus Totalis_!"_**

_**Ron fell to the floor limp, his mouth in a horrible snarl, his teeth bared.**_

_**Everyone turned to stare at Molly.**_

_**She dropped her wand to her side and turned her face away as she cried. **_

_**Arthur walked over and hugged her tightly before walking her back downstairs. **_

_**Ron helped Sirius and the twins lift Ron into his bed. They stepped back and looked at the person in front of them.**_

_**It was the first time Harry had been able to look at his best friend for months, and he looked like a stranger.**_

_**Sure he looked different physically, his hair a mess and tangled, his face bloodied and bruises, cuts and scars all over his arms and neck from doing who knows what or how many countless fights. But it was his eyes.**_

_**Even if the situation was bleak, Harry could always trust on Ron's comforting smile and warm blue eyes. Maybe it was because of the family he grew up in and the love he was surrounded by but it seemed to Harry that no matter how much darkness and horrors they all faced it was Ron who remained forever the same, always able to find the joke, able to lighten the mood in one way or another and put things into perspective. **_

_**But the person who lay frozen on the bed. **_

_**The person who looked back at Harry, his eyes were dark, the warm glow completely gone.**_

_**Sirius had been right. **_

_**This Ron, had completely lost all hope, and just didn't care anymore. He shivered and he noticed a few of Ron's brother's did the same. As though staring into those empty cold depths dragged you under as well if you looked at them too long. **_

_**Harry took a step back and walked out the room. He had to do something to help his best friend but what?**_

_**It didn't surprise him when he heard that the family would move Ron to St Mungo's. They all wanted Ron to get better but as the days past and without any improvements, in fact Ron had even tried to cut his arm with a butter knife before Fred punched him. **_

_**That solved the question of the scars on Ron's arms but he wasn't sure if they would ever really find out what had happened to Ron during those months he had disappeared on them. **_

_**The morning they were moving Ron to St Mungo's the entire family got up before dawn. Harry found them all in the kitchen staring at their breakfasts. He understood the feeling, how were you supposed to eat when you about to commit your brother, son, best friend to the wizarding equivalent to an insane asylum. He saw Ginny get up from the table, and walk up the stairs. Harry followed worried that she would make one last desperate effort to get her brother back.**_

_**Harry slowed as he reached Ron's room, stopping a few paces from the slightly open door, enough to see Ginny knelling by Ron's bed, where he lay bound and frozen in place, unable to move.**_

"_**...I care about her too Ron, I know how much it hurts to love someone and watch them put themselves in danger again and again without a care about how much it hurts you to see them get hurt, or how the thought of them getting injured drives you mad sometimes but..."**_

_**Ginny reached over and touched Ron's hand which were clenching the bedsheets tightly.**_

"_**Please..." Ginny voice cracked and Harry turned away when he saw tears fall down her face, "Please Ron, come back to us."**_

"_**I want my stupid big brother back," Ginny sobbed, "please..."**_

_**Harry felt his eyes begin to sting and he stepped away, he couldn't hear anymore. **_

_**He had said the same things to Ron over and over but to no avail, he hoped that Ginny pleas would work but he wasn't surprised when a red eyed Ginny returned the table some time later. **_

* * *

"I tried to visit as often as I could but when he began to attack and threaten the staff they restricted visits and placed him isolation, it was harder to see him then."

"What changed?" Hermione said in barely a whisper.

"It was you."

Hermione looked up at Harry.

"Me?"

Harry smiled half-heartedly before walking over to Ron's bed and pulling out something from underneath the bed. It was a large book.

"Open it," Harry told her.

She did as he instructed and when she opened the book she found page after page of photo's.

The first few photo's were of her. But they weren't magical they were the normal muggle photo's.

"I know this one," she said pointing to a picture of her holding her straw hat as though to stop it blowing away, "We were visiting my aunts' house by the seaside."

"And this, my parents took me to Paris for the weekend," she said looking at the picture of her father hugging her as they stood outside a small cafe each biting into a pastry and holding onto each other.

Another of her playing with her Aunt's dog. One of her sheepishly eating an icecream. One of her sitting on the swing in the garden while reading a book. She swallowed as she looked at picture after picture of herself.

"But..." Hermione looked up at Harry, "These were taken last year..."

She trailed off.

"Your mum called me a lot to check up on Ron, I think she talked to Ron's mum too," Harry moved to sit beside her on the bed, "She sent me the photo album, there's a note attached see."

Harry turned the book back to the first page and pointed at the familiar writing that belonged to her mother.

"_**To remind you of what you had, what you lost, and what will be yours again."**_

"Mum," Hermione said softly touching the handwritten note.

Harry took the photo album out of her hands as she wiped the tears from her face.

"We added these," he showed her the next few pages which were filled with pictures of the three of them, Harry, Ron and herself throughout their years in Hogwarts as well as their time at The Burrow during their school holidays.

Hermione continued to leaf through the pages, seeing the pictures his family had added of christmases and birthdays and the memories of Ron as child.

"After he saw this, he stopped fighting the Healers, did what they told him, drank experimental potions and agreed to new testing procedures...still," Harry closed the book and returned to the hidden place under Ron's bed, "It was the thought of you, the thought of all of us that got him through it in the end."

Hermione couldn't look at Harry.

"You must all hate Her-...hate me."

"If I'm honest, yeah I do," Harry said bluntly, "When he disappeared like that I wanted to go to your house and scream at you and tell you how much of an idiot you were and how much your actions had destroyed the lives of those around you."

"What stopped you?"

Harry's shoulders sagged.

"I more than anyone know how something you do in the heat of the moment, when you think you're doing what's best for everyone can be worst decision of your life. There have been times when I've gone back and questioned every decision I've made up this point and wondered and wished that I could change the path I took, and maybe people wouldn't be hurt...maybe some people...Cedric - Diggory would be alive at this moment if it weren't for my choices."

"Ron believes that what you did, you did because you thought it was the right thing to do, you didn't do it out of spite or that you knew things would turn out this way...and now that's its done we can't go back in time and change it no matter how much we want to."

"You give me too much credit," Hermione said when they both fell silent.

"Maybe," Harry shrugged, "Maybe not, either way, you of all people shouldn't be near Ron when he's angry because you don't know how dangerous he can be."

"Don't you see Harry," Hermione said looking at the dark haired boy next to her, "If what you say is true, than me more than anyone would be able to bring him back from the brink."

"Do you have confidence in yourself to do that?"

She started when she heard Ginny's voice from the doorway.

"Gin, how long have you -" Harry began but Ginny cut him off.

"Answer me," she said staring straight at Hermione.

Hermione stared back at Ginny.

Did she? She wasn't the same person but clearly neither was Ron.

An image of Ron smiling at her flashed before her eyes.

"Yes," she said firmly, "I'll be the one to protect him now rather than him always looking after me."

Ginny stared at her for the longest time before walking out the room.

"I think," Harry said slowly, "Remembering those times, makes it real...we can't pretend that it didn't happen anymore."

"I can't believe she has even been in the same room with me after all she went through."

"She's..." Harry paused and Hermione turned to look at him, "She's - a good person."

"They both are," Hermione added.

* * *

**Hey Lance, just wanted to thank you for listening to all my worries and concerns, but I realised that I never get to hear about your problems. I would like to be someone who you could rely on to just be there for you.**

* * *

She hadn't found an opportunity to talk to Ron yet as he was always busy with school, secret meetings with Harry, which they both refused to let her join in on, and Quidditch but Hermione was determined to find a chance. She wanted to talk to him about so many things.

She gathered up Ron and Harry's clothes from the floor and placed them inside the laundry bag. She wiped her brow before heaving the heavy load down the stairs. She stopped just of view when she saw Ron's feet dangling off one of the lounge chairs in front of the fire place. The common room was deserted, this would be the perfect time to talk. She dropped the bag and was about to walk over to Ron when Ginny tumbled into the common room a bundle of orange fluff in her arms. She promptly dumped the mass of orange onto Ron's chest.

"Oi what - Crookshanks!"

Hermione stepped back into the shadows when Ron sat up a beaming smile on his face. Hermione felt her chest ache when she saw how happy he looked recalling the memories Harry had told her of that dark and cold Ron who felt alone and lost.

"Thought he would cheer you up," Ginny explained laughing as her brother patted what Hermione realised was a cat.

"Crookshanks," Hermione repeated softly frowning, she recognised the name.

"Oh I've missed you, you ugly orange -"

Ginny laughed and threw something at her brother's head.

"If Hermione hears you she'll -"

Ron froze and so did Ginny.

Then after a moment Ron was back to patting the cat, it purred up at him, he hugged the cat and Hermione smiled watching him with the cat made her feel warm and tingly inside.

"What's this?" Ron asked lifting up the object Ginny had just thrown at him, "Oh its Crookshanks toy."

"Why'd you bring it to school when he was staying at home with mum and dad?"

"Makes me laugh when I look at it."

Silence.

"Is that..." Ginny said cautiously.

"Yeah," Ron said looking at the object in his hands, "I thought it was a fish at first and she almost punched me."

Ron chuckled at the memory.

"Isn't it a fish?"

He laughed loudly at that.

"No," he said still laughing, "It's supposed to be Crookshanks."

Ginny leaned her head from side to side.

"I guess...if I squint like this..."

Ron lifted the cat up and smiled.

"Crookshanks seemed to like it though."

Suddenly the cat turned its head, it saw her and his fur instantly bristled and it hissed.

Ron tried to calm the cat down but it didn't work, he and Ginny turned to find Hermione behind them.

Hermione apologised quickly before grabbing the laundry and walking down the servants staircase.

She should let Ron enjoy whatever happiness he could find.

She sighed.

Even his cat hated her.

* * *

She tried to busy herself with readings Lena's textbooks but even that didn't get her mind of what she had learnt from Harry. She sighed, returned the books to Lena's room and took a stroll around the school. Most of the students were in their common rooms now or studying in the library. She wasn't that concerned about being cornered by anyone, and besides she kept her wand on her these days so she was pretty sure she would be able to get away or at least distract anyone who decided to attack her. She knew it wasn't really a concern, didn't Ron tell her that as long as she wore her servants uniform that she would be considered 'his property' and that people would be reluctant to do anything to her. Some unspoken rule or something she supposed.

Hermione pushed open the door to the Astronomy tower. She normally hated heights but she needed to clear her head and this seemed the most secluded part of school.

She moved to the ledge and stretched her aching body.

***Meow***

Hermione started and turned to find Ron and his ginger cat sitting on the roof just above her. Clearly they did not share her fear of heights.

She wasn't sure if he had seen her so she began to walk back inside since it looked like he wanted to be alone at the moment.

"You don't have to run away at the sight of me."

Hermione froze.

She slowly turned and walked back to where she had been standing.

The cat hissed at her before turning and facing away from her.

"I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me," she said honestly.

"Why?"

"I've been told that it wasn't uncommon for us to go months without talking, I wasn't sure if you'd want to speak to me after the other night..."

She stepped forward and looked up at him.

"I'm so sorry about what I said, I didn't mean it, I was angry and -"

"Jealous," Ron finished for her.

"W-what?"

"You were jealous," he repeated simply continuing to look out at the sky rather than at her, "Said something about me dating other girls."

She blushed at the memory.

"Did I?" she said slowly.

"I remember the look on Hermione's face when she was jealous of me hanging around with other girls, you may be different from her but you still have her face, and you share the same expressions."

'Share the same face?' she wasn't sure how she was supposed to take that.

She squinted up at him and saw that he had a smirk on his face when he finally looked down at her.

"Besides," he continued, "It was you who told me to leave you alone, I was just doing as you requested."

"You really shouldn't listen to what I say when I'm angry."

"Well..." he kicked some moss off the roof before continuing, "I also needed some time to think as well, and being around you confuses things."

Hermione understood that, being around him seem to confuse her as well.

"And besides, despite what you hear, I'm not that kid anymore."

Ron picked up his broom and stood up from the roof. he jumped onto it making Hermione heart skip a beat for fear of him falling off the roof. He lifted his cat onto the back of the broom and it moved to make it self comfortable though she wasn't sure it would be able to stay on the broom once Ron took off.

"There are just more important things in life aren't there, why should I waste time over stupid arguments or by holding grudges."

"Be that as it may," she said quickly fearing that he would just shoot off at any second, "I am sorry. I was just angry and upset and - and j-jealous."

"Yeah?" Ron said raising an eyebrow at her.

"Just a little," she amended resisting the urge to smile at him.

Ron turned away from her and she thought he would fly off but he said,

"Sorry if I scared, I try not to let people see that side of me these days."

Before she could respond he flew off, his cat staring at her until Ron they flew downwards and they disappeared from view.

She saw him again that night at the D.A. meeting.

Everyone was still undecided and arguing about allowing an outsider into the group. She understood their concerns, afterall everyone in the D.A. joined when Malfoy became the Minister of Magic. All the muggleborns and those with 'questionable' backgrounds either left the official Hogwarts system or tried to keep under the radar as a servant while attending classes with their 'masters'.

She didn't exactly know what catergory she fit into. Ron still hadn't allowed her to attend classes with him and she supposed he felt like he was protecting her from something, though what exactly she wasn't entirely sure. She glanced across at Ron and saw him arguing with Zacharias Smith about something.

She was about to walk over and see what they were arguing about and whether she could do anything to convince Smith that it would be good to have a 'double agent' on their side. She was brushed aside by Andrea who was walking hurriedly after Ernie. Ernie had a tired expression on his face and seemed to not want to talk to his girlfriend at the moment but she was adamant about something.

"...don't you trust me?"

"Enough, just stop it," he hissed back at her before they both walked out of the room, she could hear their argument continue as the door to the Room of Requirement closed shut again.

"Don't worry," Lavender said from her side, Hermione started when she realised how close her friend was, "They'll all vote on your side eventually."

"Why do you say that?" Hermione questioned unsure why Lavender was so confident.

"Please," Lavender said as though it was completely obvious, "You do realise that you are the poster girl for '_the_ _cause_' don't you?"

When Hermione continued to stare at her blankly she continued.

"You modified your own memory with a spell of your own making to protect everyone in this room, you may not think it," Lavender said looking around the room and Hermione did the same, "But everyone here respects your opinion."

That explains why they were all so happy to see her again when she rejoined the D.A. and the knowing smiles she got from people around Hogwarts, even if they weren't in the D.A.

She could almost laugh at the situation if it didn't leave such a horrible feeling in her stomach. She knew that a part of the reason, and she didn't know how big a part, but she knew it was a significant factor to Hermione's decision making process was to protect one person, and that was Ron. Ironic that the one person who had experienced the greatest consequences from her actions then was also Ron.

She looked away from Ron, saddened by what Harry had told her.

She felt like a fake, she didn't want to take the credit for something that had hurt Ron.

"...we aren't dating you know."

Hermione looked up at Lavender's words.

"What?"

"Ron and I," Lavender explained, "He told me you thought we were dating."

"Oh," Hermione said lamely.

"But you do know that he won't wait forever Hermione," Lavender said with a grim look on her face, "I stayed away because I knew you two had feelings for each other - but now that he's engaged to Lena, there may be girls here who wouldn't mind having..._fun_ with Ron."

Hermione frowned and made a disgusted face at Lavender's choice of words.

'Fun?'

"Don't look at me like that," Lavender said stepping away slightly from Hermione, "Just a friendly warning."

Lavender walked away after that and Hermione stared after her. If she and Ron weren't dating then what were they doing in Hogsmeade? Could she really trust Lavender's words...and more to the point why should she even care.

She didn't have those feelings for Ron. True she was jealous but then she had been jealous of him talking to other girls even before she remembered their true relationship. It was more that she was jealous of how differently he treated other girls compared to her. He seemed so easy going with everyone else and with her it was always so tense and confusing.

She caught Ginny's eye and moved to walk towards her but Ginny turned away and walked off to talk to Dean. Hermione's shoulders slumped as she watched her friend walk away.

Ginny had been avoiding her lately. She understood why and wondered how her friend had even had the stomach to be around the person who caused her brother to go down a dark and dangerous path - alone.

She wanted to talk to Ginny of course but felt that time would be the best for them both. She couldn't really apologise could she, she didn't remember doing those things that had caused Ron so much pain and yet she couldn't say she was completely innocent either, after the way she had been treating him lately. She knew that he had struggled after she erased all memory of him but she didn't know that he had run away from home, surviving on his own for months while his family and friends tried desperately to find him.

"Do you think we'll make a decision by the end of the night?" she questioned Harry when he was finally left alone.

He had been surrounded all night by people asking him questions and just arguing him. No one seemed to be doing that to her though, which made her feel bad as well as confuse her. It was her idea so why did they skip right past her and head straight to Harry or Ron.

"There's going to be an anonymous vote, we'll count them at the next meeting," Harry said wearily.

"Why hasn't anyone come to talk to me about it?" she vocalised what she had been thinking all night.

"Haven't they?" Harry said rubbing his neck, he glanced at Ron before back at her, "Have you two talked yet?"

She shook her head.

"I was able to apologise but I still feel horrible about what happened," she sighed.

"Ron's not exactly proud of the way he handled it either, in case you were wondering," Harry said pulling her along with him when he saw some people walking towards him, he clearly did not want to argue with anymore people tonight.

"Why would he feel bad about that?" Hermione said in confusion, "I'm the one who -"

"You didn't force him to run away from home did you?" Harry said a stern expression on his face as though he was stopping himself from telling her something, "The truth is, when he finally got his act together, and after his brother's punched him a few times for what he put his parents through, he could barely look his parents in the eyes."

Hermione considered this for a moment.

"He does love his family doesn't he," she said more to herself rather than as a question to Harry.

"Yeah," Harry agreed, "Since then he's tried to hide how much he had been struggling with the whole situation, doesn't want to make his family worry more than they have to."

Hermione nodded her head.

"Harry," she said suddenly remembering what she had wanted to ask Harry for a while now, "You wouldn't happen to have any of my - I mean of Hermione's notes on what spells she was using to modify her memory do you?"

Harry considered this for a moment.

"I remember looking it over with a few members of the order, but I think Ron kept most of it."

She nodded her head at him and looked across at Ron.

It seemed inevitable that she would have to broach the subject with Ron then.`

* * *

She was making her way back from the kitchens the next morning when she overheard a conversation. She was walking up the servants stairwell when she heard familar voices through the wall. She wouldn't have cared really except she recognised the voices. She walked over, balancing the tray of tea and biscuits in one hand while moving towards the wall where the voices was coming from.

"...how long are you going to hold that over my head."

"I don't," Lena said quietly.

"That's a lie," Ernie said in an angry whisper.

"Why would I blame you for pretending you don't know me -"

"That's not - that's not what happened," Ernie cut Lena off.

Silence.

That really didn't surprise her since these two communicated so much without words, she wondered if Ron and her would ever reach that kind of closeness. She had thought that Ron could almost read her mind at times and yet lately he seemed either unwilling or unable to understand her.

It was too much to ask for someone to just understand everything about you though she admitted to herself, she just wanted a way for their relationship to become easier and not so tense.

"You do realise that they expect you to give them information."

Silence.

"And," Ernie continued when Lena didn't say anything, at least aloud in response, "It means you'll have to get close to the Slytherin's again."

"You assume that all Slytherin's are horrible people," Lena said finally.

"I didn't mean it like that," Ernie made a frustrated noise and there was a thump on the wall causing her to step back, he must have hit the wall, "You are intentionally twisting my words."

"I think..." Lena began slowly, "I think I would like to help them."

"Why? Why, when it would just make you the centre of scrutiny for both sides?"

"You think I am incapable of thinking about others?"

"No, but this is just...can't you just think about your own safety, if something happens to you...if something happens to you..."

Ernie trailed off and another lapse of silence fell between them.

"Who would take care of your mother?" Ernie finished finally.

Even Hermione frowned at that response.

"Where are you going!" Ernie hissed after a moment and their voices slowly faded away.

Hermione sighed and continued her way back to the Gryffindor common room. It was a relief to see that she wasn't the only one struggling with relationships at the moment. She needed to be more conscious of that in the future.

She was back at the Astronomy tower the day after, not that she expected him to be there, she just wanted some time to herself. She had finished cleaning his dorm room, folded and packed his clothes into his wardrobe, before checking the supplies for tea. She still saw a few Ravenclaw and Hufflepuffs servants around but she really didn't feel up to making any new friends at the moment. She could barely keep the friends she had now, what chance did she have to make any more?

She moved over the edge of the balcony and took a swig of her butterbeer.

"Could I have a sip?"

She turned and found Ron and his cat on the roof behind her again.

She lifted her butterbeer up to him and he took a few sips.

"Cinnamon?" he questioned her handing it back down to her.

"I put a stick of cinnamon inside," she explained, "I like the spicy taste it leaves in your mouth."

Ron smiled and he got a faraway look in his eyes.

"Do you," he said absentmindedly.

The cat suddenly pouched on something near Ron's foot.

"Ew!" Ron said jumping off the roof and down to the balcony where she stood.

She had gasped and rushed forwards certain that he would trip and fall off the roof entirely but he landed expertly and backed away from the the roof.

"What happened?" she asked him trying to find what had caused him to jump off the roof so recklessly.

"Spider," he said shivering and making a disgusted face.

"Good Crookshanks," he said when his cat jumped down half a dead spider in its paw, "Let's just get you...clean."

Ron accio'd his broom to him before walking back inside.

Hermione stared at the dead spider for the longest time.

It was significant somehow. She was certain that there were a few pieces of her memory that were close to linking together.

She had felt it eversince she had seen Ron's cat.

That had never happened to her before. Her memories had been disjointed, from different times in her life at Hogwarts and none seemed to be connected. Even those memories at Shell Cottage weren't complete, just brief glimpses of the life she lived there. But that cat, the spider laying dead at her feet.

It was triggering something inside her mind.

She groaned when another headache shot through her temples.

It was no good trying to force the memories back, only time would help her memories return.

* * *

**You mentioned your parents before, what kind of relationship do you have with them? Is it hard moving around alot? **

**I love my parents dearly, even more after this week. I don't know how I would react if I met his parents, though apparently I've met them before...its all very confusing**

* * *

"Back again?"

Hermione couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face but she hid it before turning round to look Ron.

He was pushing open the door to walk out onto the Astronomy tower.

She saw his cat slink outside, stretched before jumping up onto the roof with ease. She watched its progress and couldn't take her eyes off the creature.

"That cat," she said more to herself than to Ron but he heard her and walked up to stare at the cat with her.

It was sitting on the roof looking out into the distance, who knows what it was thinking about but there was a definite intelligence behind those eyes. She smirked as she watched the ginger fur glistening in the dying sunlight.

She hadn't expected to see either of them today but she was glad that she did. It had become an almost daily ritual. Sometimes they talked but they mostly sat in silence. Mostly because she didn't know how to talk to Ron, not after everything she had learnt from Harry. And Ron, seemed to want some time just to think, about what she didn't know but as each day it seemed as though he was coming closer to a decision because each time he flew off on that broom of his his face seemed less dark. It was almost as though the wind blew away all his concerns and troubles. It made her almost - almost, because she was still terrified of heights and made sure to keep a safe distance away from the edge of the balcony, want to fly off with him one of these days.

"He's special isn't he," Ron said startling her slightly by how close he was suddenly standing, she hadn't realised he had moved.

She turned to see him leaning against the ledge of of the balcony making her cringe slightly. He seemed unfazed by the height though so Hermione didn't say anything. It must have shown on her face though because when he turned around his face broke into a smile.

Hermione's voice caught in her throat as the full effect of the setting sun on Ron's smiling face hit her. His blue eyes sparkled and she never realised the green specks in his eyes before. His hair, like Crookshanks glistened and seemed almost seemed on fire as the wind swept it around crazily. And that smile, well there was nothing she could really say but she was certain she her heart skip a few beats before heat rushed to her face.

"Sure is," she said not even remembering what he had asked her.

She quickly looked away, not even sure what she would do if she continued to look at Ron. She swallowed and turned to look back at the cat.

She frowned at it.

"Have I met that cat before?" she questioned Ron after a long silence fell between them, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, it was just a companionable one.

"Hmm, yeah," Ron replied seemingly distracted by something and when she turned round to see what had caught his attention she saw him quickly look away.

"I think I remember it at Shell Cottage," she explained shifting to sit down on the floor to look up at the cat. She leaned back to rest agains the ledge which Ron was standing against.

After a moment he joined her on the floor and they both turned to look up at the cat.

"...reminds me of you," she gasped when she realised the words had escaped her mouth and she got up quickly from the floor,

"Sorry," she apologised before running back inside leaving a surprised Ron behind.

She had gotten down a flight of stairs before she stopped and held her face in embarrassment.

"Where did that come from?" she chided herself banging her head against the wall slightly, "so embarrassing."

She heard a noise above her and a squeak of panic escaped her lips and she ran off again in case it was Ron heading towards her.

* * *

**My mouth gets me into all sorts of trouble you know that?**

* * *

"_**Mmmmm," she mumbled into Ron's lips, "you taste like minty chocolates."**_

_**She felt Ron's lips curve into a smile before he leant up and kissed her once more.**_

"_**...talk...too...much..."**_

_**She smiled in turn and would have said something in response if Ron hadn't just flipped her over on the bed so that he was now above her with his lopsided grin plastered on his face.**_

_**She grabbed fists of his shirt pulled him down to her.**_

"_**Shut up," she said before crushing his lips to her own.**_

_**She felt the laughter vibrate through his chest to hers and she peeked open one eye but his eyes were closed and concentrating completely on snogging her. A very good job he was doing as well.**_

'_**Always said he would be brilliant at anything if he put his mind to it.' **_

_**And those were her last coherent thoughts for the next hour.**_

* * *

"Are you alright?"

Hermione started when someone spoke to her. She was sitting on Ron's bed, had been there for a while. She had run away earlier that evening without asking him about the notebooks that may or may not hold clues to lose of memory.

"Fine," she said to Harry.

"Then why have you got that goofy grin on your face while staring at Crookshanks toy?"

Hermione looked down and realised that she was clenching the orange cat toy in her hands. She instantly threw the toy backwards onto the bed.

"Nothing, I was just thinking..."

"About something nice apparently," Harry said before sitting down at his desk to start studying.

"I was waiting for Ron actually," she said quickly jumping up off his bed.

"Ron?" Harry said distractedly as he searched for something in his textbook, "Think I saw him heading off to Hogsmeade with Lavender and Ginny earlier."

Hermione's smile disappeared.

"Lavender," she said weakly.

"Yeah," Harry said before he began to scribble in his notebook.

"Okay," she said before turning to leave, he looked too busy to talk at the moment.

She closed the door softly before returning to the common room.

She didn't know why but she felt miserable.

She sighed and walked down the servants staircase. Maybe some tea would help her feel herself again, though the thought made her laugh slightly. If only the answer to remembering her past would be as simple as drinking some tea.

* * *

**AN:** There are a few things about this chapter that I thought I would share. Firstly, it was one of the easiest and hardest chapters to write for me thus far, easy because the words just flowed and I felt Ron (the Ron that exist in this AU) connected to me instinctively and I just knew what to write, how he felt and what he was thinking. And it was incredibly difficult because I've never felt that out of control before in terms of writing, I knew when I planned this story that the things in this chapter had happened but I debated whether it was something that would be included at all let alone in so much detail. But when I started writing this chapter, the details and thought processes of all the characters were just so clear to me that I felt I was just going along for the ride. I suppose it's hard to explain but writing this chapter was incredibly surreal for me, and scary to not have some degree of control over what I was writing. I am completely serious when I say that when I started this chapter I had no idea that this is where the characters were leading me to. Of course there are still many unanswered questions (for you, not for me though ;)

Well if that doesn't completely confuse you, a nice **_trivia_** for anyone interested, or who like me likes to listen to music while reading, I of course have a playlist of songs I listen to when I write this story because it puts in me in a certain state of mind that I need to write the characters. I actually deleted that playlist by accident and had to create a new one and given how many songs I had in itunes it was a bit of a task to go through each song and decide if it would help me set the mood in a way to allow me to write. Of course the titles for each chapter are from** _'Goodnight Goodnight' by Maroon 5_ **so that was a must, but the theme of this chapter can be susinctly summarised in the song **_'Incomplete' by the Backstreet Boys_**. Yeah I know, I don't even know I had BSB music on my computer, but my sister, who is a few years older than I, gave me a few mix cd's a while ago and I think they migrated their way to my itunes :/ And while I was writing that song came on...kinda creepy cause it really describes Ron's state of mind in this chapter.

Well there you go, if you're interested just youtube the song :P But enough of my rambling nonsense, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, it means so much to me that people are reading my fic and enjoying it enough to leave comments.


	29. He first met her

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and thank you all for your kind words of encouragement. As to those who love to speculate thank you for taking such an interest in my fanfic ^^ but you know I can't tell you anything cause it will ruin the surprise :D**

**Also, I now have a tumblr! Please check out my tumblr (replace underscore with dots)**

** http:/cmtilney_tumblr_com/**

**I've added sets of Hermione, Ron, Lena and Ernie polyvore sets on there and plan to add character images ^^**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

**Chapter 25 - He first met her**

Hermione was just placing Ron's newly cleaned shirts to his allocated wardrobe when he and Harry entered the room. They both had identical faces of excitement on their faces but faltered when they saw Hermione. She stayed as she was, sitting on floor at Ron's open wardrobe.

"Hey," she said looking from one boy to the other.

"Hi," Harry spoke first, Ron gave her a nod.

"What's going on," she said slowly when they continued to stare at her.

"Just counted the votes," Harry said his face cracking into a smile, "It was pretty tight call but we got most of the D.A. to agree to let Lena join."

Hermione looked at Ron and saw a small smile on his face before he nodded at her.

"That's brilliant," Hermione said instantly jumping off the floor.

She ran towards them and hugged them both, Harry first since he was closest and then Ron. There was an awkward moment where they both paused, arms outstretched towards each other, their smiles faltered slightly before they both laughed and hugged each other.

She felt her body relax in his arms and she released a contented sigh as she buried her face in his chest.

She heard someone clear his throat and she instantly let go of Ron to find Harry looking determinedly in the opposite direction.

"So I should - probably -" she smiled shyly avoiding Ron's gaze, before edging towards the door, "Go tell Lena."

She closed the door behind her and took a deep breath. She reached up and touched her burning cheeks beneath her palms.

"Thanks."

Hermione stilled when she heard Ron's voice from the other side of the door.

"Have you been taking - "

"Yes," Ron cut Harry off briskly, "Sorry, just..."

"You still seeing her then?"

Hermione's smile faltered as her heart begin to race.

Who were they talking about? Lavender?

"I forget sometimes that's all, no need to get that look on your face."

"What look? Do I have a look? This is my face, my ordinary-nothing-special-going-on-here face."

Ron snorted.

"Yeah and its as ugly as ever," there was a sound as though the boys were scuffling with each other before Ron spoke again, "It would be easier if she just didn't - look like her."

Hermione felt a spark of pain through her temples and instantly pushed away from the door.

_'No more.'_

She didn't want to hear anymore.

Steadily, she made her way downstairs and towards Lena's room.

She found Lena at the window sill, she was leaning over a small leafy plant which was strangely swaying though the window was closed and was trying to extract a little berry from it swaying branches.

Lena looked up when she heard the door click behind Hermione. She pushed her glasses back up her nose gave Hermione a nod before returning to whatever it was she was doing.

Hermione waited till she was done and seated at her desk examining the newly acquired berry between her fingers that Hermione finally spoke.

"You're in."

Lena stilled and turned her eyes straight at Hermione, it made her cringe slightly since there was no longer the comical bug-like glasses to obstruct the view of Lena's eyes. Now you could clearly see the intensity of those oddly swirling depths.

Lena shook her head at Hermione before turning her attention back to the berry in her hand, she placed it in a small vial, and picked up a quill to label the object.

"More information please," Lena said after she had tied the label to the vial with a small green piece of twine.

"Oh right," Hermione chuckled when she understood Lena's lackluster reaction, "Harry just told me, he's counted the votes and you're in."

She smiled at Lena.

"When?"

Hermione quickly interpreted this.

"Uh, if you mean the first meeting, well it will be saturday night."

Lena stopped what she was doing and turned suddenly to stare at Hermione, her eyes slightly widened, which would have been the equivalent of someone else cursing and throwing a fit.

Instead Lena, stood up from her chair, fastened her slytherin cloak around her shoulders and walked out the door.

Hermione didn't even even have time to say anything before the door closed behind her.

She gaped at the door for a moment and looked around at the room helplessly.

_'Not the reaction I was expecting,'_ she thought before moving to chase after Lena.

_'I hope she's not upset,'_ Hermione thought to herself. Maybe Ginny and she shouldn't have pushed her to join the D.A. especially since it seemed to cause tension with Ernie.

I see so much of myself in Lena. Someone on the outside, perfectly capable of living a life on her own and yet wanting so desperately to be accepted and loved. This probably had as much to do with proving herself as well showing that Lena was a good person.

Hermione ran down the stairs and saw Lena exit the common room. She dodged a few Gryffindors and was scrambling out the portrait hole when she ran straight into someone.

"Ouch," she said rubbing her forehead as she stumbled backwards.

"You alright?"

Hermione stilled and looked up at Ron.

He had his bag slung over a shoulder, and he stepped aside to allow some other Gryffindors into the common room.

"Hi," she said awkwardly, "What -"

"Oh, I forgot my bag in Charms," he explained when she looked at him curiously, as they had just seen each other moments before.

She nodded her head in understanding.

"Ah..."

He nodded a response and they stood motionless for a few seconds before they shared an awkward smile.

"Well, I better..." Ron said waving towards the boys dormitory.

"Yeah, yeah well me to - I mean I have to -" she replied pointing at the portrait hole.

Another awkward smile and they each went their own way.

She pushed open the portrait hole and rolled her eyes at herself.

_'Not uncomfortable at all.'_

She looked over her shoulder but Ron was already gone she did however catch Ginny watching her over a copy of the Quibbler but the girl instantly looked back at the magazine.

Hermione suppressed a sigh and left the common room

She didn't have much luck finding Lena unfortunately and she wandered the hallways for a few hours. She was starting to get worried, she hoped that Ernie hadn't been right. She and Ginny had practically forced her to join the D.A. She hoped the girl hadn't gone straight to the Slytherin's to find out information. That wasn't the point of her joining the D.A. Though she had told the others that Lena would be a good source of inside information she was more concerned about keeping her safe as well as helping Lena make more friends. She had to admit that it had become slightly easier to talk to Lena but still, making more friends would be essential if she had been honest about ending her dependency on Ernie.

She saw Lena ahead of her turning a corner and sighed in relief.

Suddenly she froze.

She felt as though time were slowing and she could hear her heart beat loudly as though they were loud drums in her ears. She wanted to move but couldn't. She realised that everything around her had slowed as well. Sitting beside a nearby column was Ron's ginger cat, its paw frozen in mid-air as though it were just about to lick it but now it was completely frozen.

Her eyes widened when she saw a person step towards her.

"Hello Hermione."

Hermione stared at the girl in shock. She wanted to speak but couldn't.

It couldn't be possible. It just couldn't...

Hermione stared back at - well at Hermione.

The girl standing before her was almost like a ghost, completely transparent. She had on an ancient looking dress that hung off one shoulder with a golden ribbon tied around her waist to hold it in place. Her hair though identical to her own was loose and free and hanging off her shoulders almost surrounding her face in a strange misty halo of light. There were gold and blue glowing symbols all along her arms. They were strange symbols familiar and yet...her mind couldn't quite place where it was she had seen them.

Curious.

She wanted to look away and yet couldn't.

How was it even possible. Before she could even consider the many possibilities that flashed through her mind, her ghostly doppelganger spoke,

"**_úp ábregdan, inweorpan_**!"

The voice had strange echo and unearthly feeling to it, even as her twin finished speaking, the words still seemed to echo inside her head. The voice chilled her to the bone and frightened her on some instinctual level. And if she could have moved, she was sure her face would have contorted in confusion because she had no idea what her doppelganger had just said.

The ghostly Hermione gave her a look which conveyed affection yet concern at the same time.

Then the next instant Hermione almost tripped on the floor as her leg suddenly came down from its frozen position. She looked around her, she was completely alone in the corridor. She reached up and touched her neck which had felt as though it was burning from lack of air a moment ago but felt completely normal now. She looked outside and saw the clouds moving once more, she turned and saw Ron's cat cleaning itself as if seemingly unaware or ignoring her.

A pulsing pain shot through her head.

She held her aching head in her hands.

"What the hell was that?" she wondered aloud when her headache had subsided somewhat.

"Hermione?"

Hermione started and turned around. There was someone walking towards her, their face partially obscured by the shadows of the columns along the walls.

"Ernie," she said when he finally stepped into the lamplight, she quickly calmed herself realising that her heart was still racing from the sudden appearance a ghostly version of herself.

She cleared and her throat to speak but he was straining his neck to look over her shoulder.

"Have you seen Lena?" he questioned before mumbling, "Thought I saw..."

Hermione suddenly remembered that she had been in the process of chasing after her friend.

"I was just looking for her myself," Hermione explained and bit her lip when Ernie frowned at her.

He seemed to try to read her expression much in the same manner that he seemed to do with Lena but after a moment he gave up, apparently he only possessed that skill with Lena.

"Why, what's happened? Is she alright."

She felt a warmth in her to see the concern Ernie had for his childhood friend. It was little wonder that Lena who had felt so very little love in her life had clung to the one person apart from her mother who offered it freely and without question.

He must have noticed her staring because he stopped looking around the corridor and turned to look at her directly.

She had the words on the tip of her tongue but couldn't bring herself to say it.

_'Do you love Lena?'_

She wondered if Ernie knew of Lena's feelings, he seemed to know everything else about her and yet - she frowned. She steeled herself. No. She would not break the confidence of a friend nor would she investigate something just for the sake of her own curiosity. If they were indeed brother and sister it would be too cruel and she would prefer not to confirm Lena's suspicions and if they weren't there still seemed something else that prevented Lena from making her feelings known to Ernie, something to do with their argument earlier? Besides, no matter what the truth was, he had a girlfriend.

She realised that he had asked her a question and quickly shook off her internal reverie.

"She's..." Hermione bit her lip once more and looked up at Ernie, noticing for the first time that his tie was loose and his hair was a mess as though he had just walked through a tornado.

"Why are you looking for her," she said instead.

Ernie folded his arms across his chest.

"I wanted to talk her out of this crazy plan," he huffed running an agitated hand through his ridiculous hair.

"Do you mean about..." she trailed off realising where they were and that they were not safe to speak.

He seemed to catch on and nodded his head.

"Can't understand why she refuses to listen to reason."

"She made the decision on her own," Hermione countered wondering if she was convincing him or herself, "Though we suggested it to her, we left it to her to decide."

He sighed at this and ran both hands through his hair in frustration.

_'Well, that answers why his hair looks that way. How long has he been thinking about this.'_

"I was on my way to the dungeons before I remembered that she lives in the Gryffindor tower. I was on my way there when I saw her disappear around a corner," he said slowly rubbing his neck, "I just wanted to talk to her...we had a bit of a row."

"Oh," Hermione said trying to look surprised though she already knew that they had been fighting, she resisted the urge to say 'what about' and instead said, "I was following her too, but lost track of her."

He chuckled at this, "Yeah, she's a fast runner."

He shook his head before sighing.

"Guess I'll have to talk to her some other time."

"I'll tell her you were looking for her."

He gave a halfhearted smile before walking off. Hermione watched Ernie leave before turning around and looking at the empty corridor once more. She rubbed her temples as a dull ache returned to her head. Hermione turned and walked to the infirmary, she would just have to ask Lena where she went later tonight, but for now she needed some pain relief for her headache which have become more frequent lately.

* * *

She knocked lightly on the hospital door before pushing it open. It was empty. She opened the door up fully and walked inside. She intended to just wait at the nurses's front desk until Madame Pomfrey came back. What she didn't expect was for a large black dog to walk out from the back room. Hermione's mouth fell open and something strange within her begin to claw its way to the surface. She had the strangest urge to walk over and talk to the animal.

She took a step forward reaching a hand out before she even knew what she was doing, the dog just continued to stare at her and if she didn't know better she would have thought that it was smirking at her. But that wasn't possible, dogs didn't smirk.

A sudden noise snapped her back to reality and she felt as though she had been released from some strange spell.

"Oh," Madame Pomfrey said at the open door of the infirmary, "Do you need something dear?"

Hermione opened her mouth to speak but quickly turned back to look at the dog, but it was gone.

Hermione stared at the spot where she was sure she had seen the dog just a moment before. She noticed the nurse watching her curiously though somewhat impatiently.

"Sorry," Hermione apologised quickly when she realised that the nurse was still waiting for a response, "I-um..."

It took her a moment but she was finally able to remember why she was in the infirmary in the first place.

"Could I get some paracetamol?" she only realised after the fact that Madame Pomfrey would have no idea what paracetamol was.

The nurse frowned at her before walking over to her desk and opening a desk drawer.

"Normally," the nurse said as she rummaged through some boxes in the cupboard, "I wouldn't allow muggle medicine but I always keep some on hand for the children who prefer it to potions."

Hermione got the impression that this implied that only first year muggleborn students, on their first week of school were given this option considering the shock of suddenly being thrown into a world immersed in magic.

She took the box of painkillers from the nurse gratefully. Not sure if this meant that she was considered as lost as a first year muggleborn in the nurses eyes or that she was perhaps fond of the other Hermione.

"Thank you," she said before backing out of the room.

She closed the door behind her and sighed, clutching the pills to her chest for a moment before composing herself and making her way back to the dorms.

* * *

**I've been trying so hard to be myself but the thing is I have no idea who I am. Before all the craziness, I thought I was just someone wanting to pass through life here unnoticed, not cause a ruckus, not be anything to anyone...I had friends, dear friends but there was a part of myself always missing...**

* * *

"Well that's too bad because we're going there-"

Hermione heard Ron's voice the instant the portrait swung open to reveal the Gryffindor common room.

Hermione had walked into the common to find it partially deserted with only a few students at the far desks studying and Ron in the armchair by the fire, his ginger cat on the armrest, its tail swaying back and forth slowly as it stared at Ron who was talking to someone.

She saw the cat's tail stop moving as it turned its head slowly to stare at her before hissing.

"Watch that mouth of yours before I wash it with soap and we both know how much you love taking a bath."

Another hiss before the cat turned back to look at Ron. It seemed to move its head around dismissively before standing up and jumping off the armrest. She watched it saunter across the room before jumping up and sitting on the window sill of the window opposite, its eyes laser focused on her.

She heard a wry chuckle from Ron and she walked over to Ron.

"I think he doesn't like me," Hermione said after a moment.

"That's just his way," Ron explained a smirk on his face, "He likes to pretend like he hates everyone but really he's just a big ol' softie."

The cat seemed to narrow its eyes at Ron and made a strange noise halfway between a hiss and a dismissive meowing noise before turning and looking out the window.

Ron simply chuckled and turned his head to look up at her.

"Did you find Lena?"

Hermione started slightly at his sudden question.

"How did you -"

"Ah," Ron said looking away from her before continuing, "My spies are everywhere."

She couldn't help but laugh at the conspiratorial tone in his voice.

"No I didn't" Hermione said. She wondered for a brief moment if she should tell Ron about what she saw but decided against it, it was probably just another hallucination and she really didn't want to burden Ron with her problems.

Ron nodded his head in response as he watched his cat walk back over to him and sit on the coffee table. They stared at each other for an unnervingly long time before Ron sniffed and stood up.

"Come on then bossy boots" he said and Hermione thought for a moment that he was talking to her but realised he was talking to his cat because he walked past her and towards the door without a second glance, "I'll see you later then Hermione."

Hermione waved goodbye as he disappeared his cat following close behind.

She stood there for a moment longer before walking up to Lena's room. It was empty, so whatever Lena was doing would probably take some time. She walked over and poured herself a cup of water from the jug on the bedside table.

She popped two paracetamol tablets into her mouth before downing the glass of water.

The glass slipped from her fingers and she saw it slowly descend to the floor but just before it shattered on the hardwood floor it froze.

Hermione gulped and stared around the room.

There was no duplicate Hermione standing in front of her this time and she was just about to release a sigh of relief when her chest suddenly clenched and she wanted to reach up and somehow stop the pain. It was a frightening feeling, a pulsing ache before she felt as though her heart had stopped all together. Her body became rigid as though her blood had stopped with everything else in the room.

A sudden cold sensation rose from the pit of her stomach. The cold sensation slowly rose from within her, it seeped through every part of her, like long fingers clawing at her insides, as though it would rip her apart to get out. She gasped for air she could not, her eyes straining under the pressure.

"**_Grundwæg ǽrendsecg interjnú beorn_**," the same voice spoke to her again and Hermione wanted to cry out at the pain.

She could feel the coldness spreading and she tried to close her eyes tightly against the pain. She was surprised when she was able to do so and when she slowly opened them once more she almost screamed.

She was outside, the wind whipping around her and she was high - very very high.

She tried to look around at her surroundings but found she couldn't move her body, she only seemed to use her eyes.

"That was a bit careless of Sirus."

Hermione was startled to hear Ron's voice close to her. No. She looked around her once more. She didn't just hear Ron near her. She heard Ron's voice coming from within her. A sinking feeling began to press upon her. She didn't have time to comprehend what was happening when her thoughts were suddenly taken over by another persons. By Ron's thoughts.

Ron stared out at the scenery. The wind was picking up and he could see the dark clouds rolling across the hills towards the school. He watched the people below, like tiny ants heading back inside though a few people seem to be dawdling, unafraid of the impending darkness headed their way.

He felt rather than saw the presence beside him.

"How long do you plan to ignore her?"

No response but he could almost feel the stiffening back and disdain from his companions eyes and face.

He chuckled.

"When we first met..." he trailed off for a moment recalling the day they all had first met, "I'd like to think she chose you because you reminded her of me, both ignored and in the shadows of family, friends...never given the chance to make our mark, but I know the real reason was because she couldn't bear to let you stay there without anyone to take care of you."

He felt his throat tighten at the thought.

"She's always been so compassionate and kind even to those whom logic tells you not to trust. Maybe," he paused and picked idly at some moss on the roof he and his friend sat on, "Maybe that's why she wanted to be my friend."

A genuine laugh escaped his lips then.

"And to think how much we hated each other at first."

A derisive sigh escaped his companion and Ron turned to look at him.

"What? I thought rain makes you nostalgic?"

Silence.

"Well," Ron turned back to look at the sky, "I guess its not raining just yet."

Another exasperated sigh from his companion before he stretched.

"If you're going to continue mopping like this, I'm going to go back inside before I get wet."

Ron smirked and looked over at Crookshanks.

"Thought you weren't talking to me," Ron said reaching over to rub the cat behind the ears.

The cat let him pat him but still had a look of disdain when he turned to look at Ron.

"I'm not supposed to encourage you," the cat replied before lifting a paw up to clean himself, after a moment he turned back to look at Ron, "You're supposed to take your medication and wean yourself off that magic."

Ron groaned and rolled his eyes.

"That's why Hermione left you to me, she knows that you can take her place in nagging me."

Crookshanks sat up straight on the root and glared at him, he wasn't even sure that cat's could do that but if any cat could glare at you despite the tangle of ginger fur it would be Crookshanks.

"You and I both know that that - " the cat hissed and the fur on his back raised slightly, "That child is not Hermione."

Ron kicked at the moss near his feet as the first drop of rain fell on his hand.

Crookshanks was already jumping down and slinking back inside.

Ron stayed for a moment longer until the rain began to fall quickly and he reluctantly got down off the roof. He landed expertly and without much effort. He knew Crookshanks was right and he should stop depending on his magic but it was so much like second nature that he sometimes forgot to turn it off.

He stood up straight and realised that he was no longer getting wet.

Hermione stood beside him, holding her umbrella above him.

She didn't say anything but just gave a small smile.

Hermione was horrified.

She was staring at herself - she was staring at herself from Ron's eyes. What the hell was happening.

The Hermione in front of her looked at Ron, but it seemed as though she was looking directly at her.

'_Caillech Bheur,'_ the voice echoed in her head and even though the girl in front of her didn't move her mouth Hermione knew that she had just spoken directly to her.

She didn't understand what was happening but whatever it was, it seemed very important to the other Hermione. Wait. Other Hermione? Was this girl who was looking at her, at Ron at this moment...could she be...

A cold sensation gripped at her and once more she felt her own consciousness pushed to one side as Ron's dominant one took over.

When Hermione looked at him like that he could almost forget Crookshanks words. That this wasn't Hermione. In that moment, the way Hermione was smiling at him, a warm tender smile, he could almost make himself to believe that this was the girl he had fallen in love with - that he was still probably in love with despite everything - or perhaps because of everything. He saw her move slightly as though she were about to reach out and touch him but she stopped herself at the last minute and instead took a slow calming breath.

"Hi."

Ron froze.

One word.

One word and he yet something about the way she spoke, the way she looked at him, the way she held herself. None of the usual self doubt, anger and guilt that she had been carrying around with ever since she had found about her memory loss.

He stared at her for a long moment and he opened his mouth but not trusting himself, not believing that it could be true he bit down on his lip and simply stood with the girl in front of him in the pouring rain sharing a single umbrella - no, he realised suddenly, she was holding above him but she was getting drenched.

He reached out and grabbed her before he stop himself and pulled them both out from the rain and towards the exit.

He felt the hairs on his arm rise when he touched her and he turned to look at the girl walking behind him.

'Don't be stupid. Just your head playing tricks on you again.'

Whoever she was, he couldn't help himself from caring and worrying about her. He supposed he had always felt this way about this tiny incredible girl. It bothered him how much her small struggles and attempts to make her own way rubbed everyone around them the wrong way. They probably just saw it as Hermione's typical stubborness but he knew better. It wasn't easy having to fight against yourself every day and he knew that better than anyone else. He wanted more than anything to tell her that he understood that he didn't blame her and he wished desperately that he could be the one to tell her what she seemed to crave to know. But if he knew anything about her - if he knew anything at all - was that she would want to find out on her own and on the off chance she did ask him...well he would be there to help her and make her understand.

He couldn't hate someone for struggling to find themselves again especially not after everything he had gone through himself. He gave a grateful smile and walked back inside, his hand stopped for a moment when he looked into the glass door and saw Hermione back at him. She didn't look sad, or happy, she was just watching him.

He shook his head and reached inside his pocket to check if he had brought his medication with him. His fingers clenched around the bottle of pills like a lifeline.

He looked again and he only saw his own reflection staring back at him.

"You should take a bath, you must be freezing."

He turned from the door and looked at the Hermione in front of him.

She reached up and pushed some hair out of his eyes, her fingers lingered for a moment and a sad look crossed her face.

His heart began to race.

"Her-Hermione -" he said in barely a whisper as he looked searchingly into those familiar eyes, those eyes that couldn't hide anything from him.

She dropped her hand to her side and smiled up at him. He blinked and blinked again when she was still standing in front of him.

The way she was looking at him now. It reminded him so much of the way his Hermione had looked at him on their last night together when they -

"Aren't you cold?" she asked him after a moment.

"Yeah," he said in response but not really hearing her words.

A stray raindrop fell from her hair and made a slow path down her face, slowly - hesitantly he reached out and wiped the droplet from her face, his fingers barely touching her skin as he pushed the water aside.

She looked up at him and his hand froze, his hand cupping her cheek.

"Are you alright?" she said after a moment, concern reflected in her eyes, "When Crookshanks returned to the Gryffindor tower without you, I began to worry."

Ron stiffened and pulled his hand away.

"You did," he said cautiously.

"You enjoy his company then?" she said rather than answer his question, "I'm glad."

"He's a good listener," he explained frowning slightly at her words.

"I'm sure," she said still looking at him in concern, "But are you alright?"

"Fine," he said and he wasn't even lying - not really. He was as well as could be expected.

"I should go," he said after a moment when a niggling feeling began to scratch inside his head, "Don't want to get a cold."

"Of course," she said and they made their way down the winding staircase, they reached the bottom of the staircase far too quickly for either of their likings because they lingered there together for a moment.

He looked over at her when she opened her mouth as though to speak. She closed it a moment later before finally speaking.

"Take care of yourself - and Ron..."

Ron turned to look at her.

"I hope you know," she said softly reaching over to squeeze his arm, "I'm here if you need me."

"Thank you," he said in response not knowing what else to say.

He looked at her once more before turning to head to the prefects bathroom.

He looked over his shoulder and saw Hermione watching him leave.

There have been times when I feel like the girl I was before, the girl they tell me I was, takes over my body, my senses...and it frightens me. Because in those moments, I feel like the person I am now will disappear.

Hermione gasped and pulled back. She felt as though she had just been pulled out from a cold stormy ocean. She fell backwards and landed hard on the wood floor.

She tried to catch her breath as she looked around the room. She was still in Lena's room.

But how was that possible - what the hell had just happened?

She reached up in surprise when she felt warm tears sliding down her already wet cheeks.

Why was she crying?

She slowly stood up from the floor, she stopped when she noticed a strange movement in the corner of the room. She paused for a moment before taking a tenative step towards the mirror.

"Lumos," she whispered lighting the darkened room.

She walked over to where she had seen the movement and chided herself for being foolish when she realised that it was just her reflection. She turned to move but she stopped and turned back to look at her reflection. She could have sworn for second there that her reflection hadn't moved when she had...almost like...

She stepped over to the mirror and leaned over to look at it. The reflection was nothing more than that, when she moved her head it did too. Hermione sighed, these strange hallucinations were starting to worry her.

She sat down at the dresser table and stared at herself in the mirror.

"What was that?" she wondered to herself, "Another memory - but no, it felt different this time..."

She bit her lip and stared at her reflection. What was it that Ron had seen in her eyes, in her face that made his behaviour towards her change ever so slightly? She thought back but couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Our relationship isn't forced," the words came out of her mouth before she even realised it and she jolted at the sound of her own voice - because for a second she had felt a strange presence within her. Almost like -

She looked at the mirror once more before turning to survey the room to assure herself that she was alone in the room. She felt a uncomfortable crawling sensation beneath her skin that sent shivers through her. She swallowed and stood up from the table. She decided to take a walk around the grounds to clear her head.

She made it to the common room before realizing that it was raining heavily. She stared at the window and the dark clouds rolling towards the school.

"Are you going somewhere?"

Hermione turned to find Harry standing beside her, he too was looking out the window.

"Uh -"

"Didn't you just get back?"

Hermione frowned at him. She had been in Lena's room for most of the day and hadn't seem him at all.

"You're still wet and you wanted to go back out there?" he continued without waiting for a response from her.

Hermione stared at him a moment before looking down and realising that she was indeed wet.

She reached up and held her temple as an aching pain returned.

"I feel sick," she said suddenly almost tripping over the table in front of them before catching herself.

"Are you -" was all Harry managed before Hermione had bolted back up the stairs.

She managed to hold off until she had made it to Lena's bathroom before she threw up into the toilet.

Hermione groaned before laying down to rest her head on the cold floor as another wave of pain washed over her.

* * *

_**Hermione heard the voices below her as she paced the length of her room. She had already said her goodbyes and told the Order that she was going to lie down. After all the excitement of the last few hours she really didn't feel up to anymore agonising and rehashing of the events. It was partly true but the reality was that she wanted some time alone to decide if she really wanted to do this. Time was running out. They would be leaving tomorrow and she knew that the spells they had cast would not be enough she needed to make sure that nothing would happen to Ron and she knew that he wouldn't be able to relax if he couldn't ensure that she was safe.**_

_**She moved to lock the door before walking over to the bed. She leaned over and used all her strength to push it aside, not that it took that much strength, one of the benefits of their magic.**_

_**She stared at the floorboards and swallowed nervously. Did she really want to do this? She had been arguing with herself over the merits of what she was about to do for days now. She knew that it was the only way to keep them all safe but she wanted to talk to Ron about it.**_

_**She began to pace the room once more.**_

_**If she did this and something went wrong. No. She shook her head in determination. This was the only way she knew that would allow her to return to Hogwarts, the only way to stay by Ron side and protect Harry, should he need it. It was something she had to decide on her own. She would make Ron understand, besides it wouldn't be forever, just for a few months until they stopped sniffing around - just until they stopped interrogating her.**_

_**She nodded her head to affirm her decision. She had to do this.**_

_**She moved over to her beside table and opened the drawer. She pulled out the small silver dagger and the piece of white chalk. She put the dagger in her pocket and knelt to the ground quickly drawing the symbols on the floor. After double-checking that she had drawn the symbols correctly she pulled out the bag of salt she had pilfered from the kitchen earlier that evening while no one was looking. With shaking fingers she ripped open the bag and hurriedly traced the chalk lines on the floor.**_

_**She started when the french doors suddenly blew open but she pushed her fears aside for a moment so that she could finish this. She stepped inside the centre of the knotted symbol and pulled out the knife from her pocket.**_

_**She bit her lip and stared at the knife in her hand.**_

_**This was it. This was the last chance to back out.**_

_**She looked behind her at the locked door. Every instinct told her to run out of the room and to Ron. But another part of her, the part that couldn't - wouldn't ever allow anything or anyone harm the most important person to her won out and she turned back. She stood facing the open french doors. the white curtains billowed around as the strong winds blew into the room.**_

_**"Now or never," she said before wincing as she cut her palm with the small dagger.**_

_**She dropped the dagger to the floor and the instant the fist drop of blood fell to the floor the french doors were pulled form its hinges and disappeared into the night sky as sudden storm of air burst into the room almost toppling Hermione to the floor but she stood her ground. She watched the blood dripping from her hand collect in a small pool before it moved to the salt lines at her feet. The blood soaked into the white salt and she stared entranced as the lines around her slowly turned from white to deep blood red. She swallowed, took a deep breath before shouting at the top of her lungs,**_

_**"Druantia! Branwen, Cred, Cerridwen, Harimella, Uathach!"**_

_**With each word she spoke a deafening lighting strike tore through the night sky.**_

_**"Hermione! HERMIONE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" she turned at the sound of Ron's voice, she saw the door handle shaking and crashing sounds as though he was trying to break the door down.**_

_**'I'm sorry Ron, even if you hate me, I have to do this. I will protect you even if it means I will never see you again.' she vowed to herself before turning around to face the darkness.**_

* * *

Hermione felt something cool being pressed to her face and found to her surprise Ron knelling beside her. He was wiping down her face with a cool towel.

"Hi," she said hoarsley, her throat felt sore after throwing up a few hours earlier.

He attempted a smile but his face remained serious. It took her a moment to realise that this wasn't a dream and that Ron had indeed managed to find a way into the girl's dormitory.

"How'd you get in here?" she questioned pulling herself up off the floor so that she was leaning against the opposite wall of the bathroom.

"Servants entrance," he said before standing up and washing the towel.

"How'd you know I would be here?"

"Harry told me you had looked ill earlier," Ron continued his back still turned towards her and he was taking his time rinsing and re-washing that towel. He eventually placed it on the towel rack to dry but gripped his hands on the counter rather than turn to look at her.

So he had found her unconscious on the floor. A sinking feeling enveloped her and she stood up from the ground and took a tentative step towards him. His face was down so she couldn't even see what expression he had on his face at the moment but knew that he must be hurting.

She reached out to touch his back, paused before gritting her teeth and placing her palm on his back.

"Are you alright?" she questioned in concern rubbing circles on his back in what she hoped was a soothing manner.

No answer.

"I'm okay," she explained when he didn't respond, "I think I might have a bit of a cold is all, but I feel fine now."

"I should go," he said turning to avoid her gaze before walking out of the bathroom.

She followed him and it was a good thing too because he stumbled and fell to the floor after a few steps.

"Ron!" she grabbed his shoulders and turned him over.

He was breathing heavily and he was sweating even though his body felt cool to the touch. She pulled out her wand and levitated him to Lena's bed. After tucking him and checking the fire was blazing she pulled on her cloak and decided to get some medicine from the infirmary before her fingers wrapped around the pills in her pocket. She pulled out the box of paracetamol that she had gotten from Madame Pomfrey. She threw the box onto Lena's desk deciding she wasn't going to risk whatever happened to her happen to Ron. She turned to leave to find Ginny or perhaps Lena to watch Ron while she went to the infirmary when a sound caught her attention.

The window was open, the curtains were drenched with the rain that was pouring into the room. She frowned, she didn't remember opening the window. She hurriedly moved to close them almost tripped on a broom on the floor. She picked it up and stared at it before looking at the window then at Ron.

'Ron, you - ' she sighed and placed the broomstick against the wall and closed the window once more.

She walked over to the bed and checked on Ron, pausing to wipe down his forehead with her handkerchief before leaving to find someone to watch him.

She found Ginny in the common room and though the red head had at first seemed about to walk away from her she stopped when Hermione explained what happened to Ron. The girl nodded and hurried up the stairs.

"What's happening?" Harry said grabbing her arm as he watched Ginny run up the stairs.

Hermione bit back the frustration she felt, she didn't have time to explain to people right now, she needed to get Ron medicine. She quickly explained the situation to Harry and they both decided to go to the nurses office to get help.

The nurse wasn't there and Hermione almost screamed in frustration before she saw the glass cabinet near the nurses desk. She ignored Harry's questions and pursued the potion cabinet. Luckily the nurse was meticulous and kept all her potions labeled. She grabbed a few of the small purple bottles, 'for colds and fevers' and ran out the room, Harry running after her.

"...and they say I'm reckless..." she thought she heard Harry mumble from behind her but she really didn't feel like listening to him at the moment.

They made it back to the room and practically broke the door down when they pushed it open again. She made it two steps into the room before freezing.

Lena was sitting on the bed beside Ron wiping his face with a wet towel. Ginny walked over and handed a flask to Lena. She pulled Ron up so that his head was resting on her lap and forced him to drink the potion.

Ginny looked up and saw them first. Her face broke into a smile.

"Lena came back and made a quick potion," she explained, "she was amazing, I've never seen anyone brew anything that fast before."

Hermione gripped the potions in her hands tightly. She watched Lena place Ron's head back onto the pillow.

"What's that?" Ginny questioned walking over to them to close the door.

Hermione looked down at her hands before quickly

"Nothing," she said quickly placing the vials behind her back, she felt completely foolish for acting so irrationally while Lena had been able to handle the situation without a second thought.

"Uh Hermione," Harry said from beside her but she just shrugged her shoulders at him.

"I'll get some soup for him to eat when he wakes up," she said before backing out the door ignoring the concerned look on Harry's face.

* * *

**Lance,**

**I realised that I do care about him, I care about him a lot but it feels wrong of me to feel anything more than friendship towards him. I feel as though I would be betraying something inside me - some basic instinct if I would stop trying to fight it and admit how I feel about him...**

* * *

Hermione stared at the wooden door to Lena's room. She debated whether to knock but then decided against it in case Ron was asleep. She pushed open the door and stepped inside, keeping her face hidden from the others but she could feel Harry's eyes following her in concern.

She walked over to Lena's desk and placed the soup on the table before turning to leave.

"Love, where you goin'?"

Hermione froze mid step and turned to stare at the person who had just spoken.

Ron was sitting up in the bed, he was pale but he looked better. He was looking directly at her.

_'Love? did he just -'_

She stared at Ron speechless.

"Here have some soup," Ginny said suddenly startling everyone in the room but it gave Harry an opportunity to walk over to her.

Harry leaned over and whispered so that Ron couldn't hear them.

"He's a bit out of it," Harry explained, "I think he thinks he's at Shell cottage."

"Ah-" Hermione said simply looking over Harry shoulder to look at Ron who was happily eating his soup, he smiled at her and she returned it. She felt a warmth spread within her when he looked at her.

"Come here 'Mione," Ron waved her over and patted the bed.

She looked at Harry, then Ginny and they both nodded their heads at her. She walked over to the bed and sat down beside Ron.

"H-how are you feeling," she said cursing the sound of her shaking voice.

Ron reached over and cupped her face startling her.

"You look a bit peekish too, want some of this soup?"

She shook her head mutely, going for the non-verbal route in case she said something she shouldn't.

She caught Lena's eyes when the girl walked out of the bathroom with a steaming bowl of water and a towel. Ron stared at Lena as she approached him.

"Ugh..." he groaned grabbing at his head, dropping the spoon in his hand in the process and it clattered to the floor.

Hermione reached over and took the soup away from his hand before it fell too, placing it on the bedside table.

She moved closer to Ron and reached out to see what was wrong. She stopped whens he saw Lena do the same thing. The two girls stared at each other for a moment. Hermione felt something inside her grow hot with anger.

'**_Leannán Beorn__!_**' the voice growled from within her as Ron's eyes swung to hers.

She reached over to grab Ron's hand.

"You alright?" she said shifting to look at Ron more carefully, from the corner of her eyes she saw Lena step back.

Ron reached up and placed his hand over hers but then he pushed her hand away. She stared at him in confusion before he pushed away the bed covers and stood up shakily.

"I'm fine," Ron said his back towards her, "I'm going back to my room."

Ron moved a few steps but didn't make it very far before sinking to his knees.

Hermione jumped over the bed and knelt beside him.

"Don't be silly, you need to rest," Hermione said helping him up, "Stay here for a little longer."

Ron turned to stare at her. His eyes searching hers, for what she didn't know but the next moment he turned away and his face was cast in shadows.

"I'd be more comfortable in my own bed," he said before looking over at Harry, "Give us a hand mate."

Harry was by his side the next moment helping Ron to his feet and out the door. Hermione watched Ginny leave with her brother though she stopped to thank Lena before she left.

"You are upset?"

Hermione turned to look at Lena once the others had left.

"No," she answered simply, "I-I...thank you for looking after him."

She didn't know what else to say and there were too many thoughts swimming in her head at the moment, she just needed to get out of there. She left the room and went for a walk to clear her head.

* * *

**That feeling. That shaking, all encompassing feeling when he looks in my eyes with love for his Hermione. It makes me angry and yet I hate myself at the same time. I'm so angry because I want him to look at me, the girl I am now, the imperfect girl struggling so hard for his - for their approval and love me, only me...and yet I hate myself because I don't deserve his love. I don't deserve anything from him after everything he has suffered at my - at her - our hands...**

**But still...I...**

* * *

"What's that?"

Hermione started at the whispered voice behind her and she turned to find Ron looking over her shoulder at a book she was perusing in one of the more secluded areas of the school library.

She closed it instantly and regretted it when they both coughed and choked a bit on the dust that flew up from the musty old book.

"That's disgusting," Ron said wheezing slightly before reaching for the book but Hermione hid it behind her back.

"You're feeling better than?" she said, she hand't seen him since he left Lena's room yesterday, not sure if her presence would be welcome and thought it best to let him rest.

"Yeah, thanks to you," Ron said his head moving from side to side as he stared at her.

"I didn't do much," she replied looking at him in confusion, before brushing a hand over her face self-conciously, did she have something on her face.

"I wouldn't call what you did nothing."

Hermione just frowned at him.

"If you mean the soup, that was nothing. It's a good thing we have Lena around to help us now, she's practically a nurse."

Ron titled his head to the side and watched her carefully a confused expression on his face.

"Wha-" he stopped himself before turning his attention to the book in her hands.

"Yeah," Ron said slowly though his there was a strange tilt to his voice as he spoke, she ignored it when he made another grab for the book behind her back before giving up.

She had spent the morning searching for something to help her. The other Hermione had said something to her in another language, it sounded familiar and she felt as though she had heard it before.

'_úp ábregdan, inweorpan_!' and again when she had been with Ron, she had heard that voice speak in a language she didn't understand and yet...somehow it felt so familar to her.

She could almost feel the answer just out of reach, if she could only find something about the language, it might help her figure out what Hermione had done to them, to her - oh hell.

She reached up and rubbed her temples. This was getting more confusing by the second. She quickly composed herself when Ron stopped coughing and was looking at her curiously.

"What are you doing here by the way?"

"Just some research," she said blowing a stray hair out of her face, she tried to sound flippant wondering if this would be one of the occasions when Ron wouldn't be able to read her expressions, she hoped it was because she and Hermione were different people and so their thought processes were different but she dismissed the thought when a smirk appeared on Ron's face.

Instead of grabbing the book from her hands however he stepped back, considered her for a moment as though searching for something in her eyes. She didn't know what but after a moment a disappointed look crossed his face before he turned to move away down the aisle. Apparently he hadn't come just to snoop on her but was here doing research of his own.

"I-I wanted to talk to you about something," she said haltingly as she raced to keep up with his long strides.

He stopped and turned to her, passing a hand through his hair as he leaned against the bookshelves. She stared at his hair a moment until she heard Ron clear his throat and she realised that she had been staring. She felt her cheeks heat up and looked away quickly.

"Well, I was just wondering, that spell that Hermione cast," she said lowering her voice considerably and as an indirect result causing Ron to lean forward to hear her, she broke off when he did so before quickly recollecting herself, "Harry told me she left some notes about what she did...c-could I have a look at them."

She swallowed when she finally looked up from their feet to find herself staring at his throat, she pushed down the strange urge to lean forward and - Hermione shook herself mentally and forced herself to look at Ron in the eyes.

His expression turned serious and contemplative.

"I - yeah I think I still have them," Ron said a strange expression crossing his face.

He stopped and looked at her for a long moment before looking out the window and saying,

"They're at Harry's house, but I won't have be able to get them till I go home for the Easter holidays -"

"Oh right," Hermione said quickly realising that next week the students would be going home for the holidays, "Well I could come and pick them up, just tell me where he -"

"Yeah I mean...yeah I could..." Ron rubbed the back of his neck eyes darting from her to the window again, "Or you could come stay with us."

Hermione frowned not quite understanding.

"At Harry's?"

"Yeah, well you know, you could look over the notes without -"

"I would take care of it," Hermione cut him off beginning to feel annoyed that he felt he couldn't trust with what was essentially her own notes and work, "I'd just take a look, see if they could help me get my memory back...If you didn't want to show you could have just -"

"What? What...that's not," Ron said before he heard his own voice echo and remembered where they were, he lowered his voice and said, "Bleeding hell Hermione, just was askin' if you wanted to stay over for easter, don't make a national case of it."

Hermione faltered and her eyes widened.

She opened her mouth to respond but them promptly closed it again. She looked up at Ron suspiciously and saw he was determinedly looking anywhere but at her.

She bit down a smile.

"Thank you," her voice soft and half disbelieving, "I would love to stay with you."

She saw Ron swallow before he had that familiar lopsided smirk and she saw the confidence return as he straightened his back.

"Well, you know with my family, not with me but still -"

He broke off and smiled brilliantly at her causing Hermione to avoid his eyes this time though she felt a strange giddy sensation flutter inside her.

"Well..." Ron said clearing his throat before stepping back and Hermione felt the bubble between them pop, "I'll give the details later."

She nodded and smiled shyly at him.

"Okay then, bye," he said before turning and walking off.

A warm smile spread across her face and resisted the urge to spin around or dance on the spot or shout with joy and she really to have received some award for the self restraint she showed.

Then she shook herself, she was acting ridiculous...not like he was saying that just so they could spend more time together over the holidays. It was like he said just an easier way for her to have access to the information she had wanted off of him.

Still all the rationalisng she did, did nothing to dampen the fluttering sensation in her stomach or stop her smiling all the way back to the common room.

* * *

_Lance,_

_I admit it. I was jealous, still am. Why do I feel this way? I love my friends, Lavender, Lena, they have been my solace, my companions when I felt so lost and alone and downtrodden and yet when they are within his gaze I feel so - so frustrated. Frustrated at my own weaknesses, my own cowardice that I cannot admit to how I feel..._

* * *

"Where'd you run off to?" she asked the instant Lena returned, looking up from the book in her lap.

Lena walked over and sat down on the bed, Hermione turned in the armchair by the fire to look at her.

"Are you alright?"

"I went to - " Lena stopped when she noticed Hermione massaging her temples, "Are you alright?"

"Has this terrible headache all day," she said in response, closing her eyes when another shot of pain hit her. She had avoided the muggle painkillers ever since yesterday when they caused her to collapse and have some kind of strange mental breakdown.

She could hear Lena move around the room. She cracked an eye open and saw Lena cut a few leaves of one of her plants. She brought the cuttings over to the fireplace and placed them inside the small kettle. Hermione watched the girl bring the kettle over to the fire.

Some time later Lena was handing her a cup of some strange liquid.

"What is it?" she said trying to stop herself from gagging at the smell.

"It will help," Lena said and when Hermione didn't move to take the cup she added, "Trust me."

Hermione looked up at the girl in front her and relaxed.

She took the cup and after a moments hesitation swallowed the entire contents. It smelt awful at first but once she had swallowed it, she found it had a sweet citrus taste to it which wasn't all that bad. She smiled up at Lena.

Lena's face swam in front of her.

'What's happening?' she had wanted to say but it came out as "Wazaaparen?

Lena just reached over and took the cup from her before leading her over to the bed.

"Sleep now, you'll feel better tomorrow."

Hermione didn't have the energy to resist and the instant her head hit the pillows she was asleep.

* * *

Hermione awoke with a start.

She stared at the ceiling above her head.

Slowly she sat up and realised she was sleeping in Lena's bed. The sun was already high in sky and she wondered how long she had been asleep for. It felt like years. She pushed aside the bedsheets and stumbled out of bed. She groggily made her way to the bathroom, pushing the door open with the little energy she had she walked over to the sink and washed her face.

She grabbed a towel, ignoring that the towel was green and had a silver snake emblem stitched into the corner. She wiped her face a few times before dropping the towel to look at her reflection.

"We need help," she told her reflection. She screamed when the reflection staring back at her suddenly became dark, narrowing its eyes at her.

"**_úp ábregdan, inweorpan!_**" her reflection shouted back at her, its eyes furious.

Hermione covered her mouth with her hand to stop herself from screaming but she continued to stare wide-eyed at the reflection staring back at her.

"Are you alright?"

Hermione gasped and stumbled into the sink when a voice spoke from behind her. For a moment she thought that the reflection in the mirror had become corporeal again but when she looked up at the mirror, her reflection was back to normal and she could see Lena staring at her.

She turned around and Lena cocked her head to the side slightly before repeating her question.

"Are you alright?"

Hermione realised that Lena was staring at her strangely, she looked down and realised that she had somehow changed clothes, she was wearing a slytherin uniform. Lena's slytherin uniform. When did she - did Lena change her clothes for her? But for what purpose.

"F-f-fine..." she managed to stammer putting aside her strange atire for a moment to orient herself once more.

"How's you headache?"

"Be-better," Hermione said swallowing nervously to check her reflection once more before leaving the bathroom. It was true after all. Lena's tea was the first medication she had had which hadn't brought about more flashbacks or hallucinations and she definitely felt well rested.

Lena nodded but continued to watch Hermione as she returned to the room and began fixing the bed. After a few tense moments she heard the scrap of the desk chair on the floor and Hermione relaxed. She turned to ask Lena if she had any clothes she wanted her to take care of but found the young witch staring out the window distractedly a quill between her fingers.

"Are you alright?" Hermione questioned her friend walking over to her.

Lena frowned at her and Hermione's eyes widened in surprise, she had never seen Lena show that much overt reaction to anything anyone except Ernie said.

_'Ah.'_

"Sorry, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she amended quickly grabbing a few stray shirts off the armchair and was about to leave the room when Lena spoke.

"He's right after all."

"Huh?" Hermione said turning to look at Lena.

Lena took a deep breath before continuing.

"He really seems to be the only one who can scold me, with anyone else I can just ignore them but with one word from him..." Lena took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes, "I am glad that I can meet more people at the D.A. This way I can finally make a clean break between Milly and I."

"A clean break?" Hermione repeated.

Lena simply nodded before turning to look at her.

"I depended on him when I was scared or lonely and I really can't offer him much in return - what kind of one-sided love is that?" Lena said looking away from Hermione once more, "Now, I'm just tired - "

Hermione considered Lena's words.

"Why are you ashamed of your feelings?" Hermione asked her friend, "Whether you love him or not is your decision. If you are just loving him from afar you're not hurting anyone. To be able to love like that, being selfless and selfish at the same time - what a wondering thing that would be."

She tried to smile at her own words but the smile died on her lips.

"To be loved by someone when you know you are underserving of their love, that is truly tiring," Hermione continued, "You can never match up to their exceptions, no matter how much you want to. Every day, every moment is difficult to live through because you want so much to be everything they want you to be but you know you cannot."

She looked up to find that Lena was still staring out the window and she wondered if she was just being ignored.

'All the better,' Hermione thought to herself, 'I was just talking rubbish anyway.'

She sighed and turned to leave.

"You still don't understand," Lena said, her voice just barely above a whisper and Hermione wondered if she had just imagined it.

She turned and left the room since Lena looked like she just wanted to be left alone. Most times Lena did like to be left alone but Hermione usually figured out ways to distract her friend or ask her questions about her school work. Most of things Lena told her seemed to click in her mind as though they were missing puzzle pieces being lifted from some dark recess of her mind and her soothed her to hear them. But she hoped, more importantly that Lena would come to feel more comfortable around her and confide in her more. She headed to the servants stairs making a mental note to make some of Lena's favorite tea and bring some nice sponge cake back to the room as a form of comfort food.

* * *

**There are days when times passes by without me realising it and before I know it days ,weeks have passed and nothing had changed. I think - I think that when I was with him it was different. I don't remember it all but the things I remember...the moments feel slow as though in those perfect little moments we slowed down time and all that existed was him and I...**

**Or maybe that's just my dreams not my memories...its hard to tell the difference now...**

* * *

She balanced the tray with one hand and pushed open the entrance to the common room open. Some of the students were returning from class and the common room was quite full at the moment which was why she couldn't walk over to where Ron and Harry were sitting over a chessboard and talk to them. She wanted to ask them both about her hallucinations if they were really that. She was terrified that they would think she was insane but she had to find out if it was just her that was affected. After all wasn't Ron taking some form of prescription medication for whatever happened at Shell cottage? She chewed on her bottom lip as she passed the table where the boys sat. Harry was staring at the board in deep concentration but Ron looked up in time to see her and she saw a twinkle in his eyes as he put his hands behind his head completely at ease.

She was a few steps up the stairs when she heard the crunching of chess pieces fighting.

"Checkmate," she heard Ron say before Harry groaned and complained that they should be practicing not inside wasting their time.

"Chess is not a waste of time," Ron said indignantly causing her to giggle as the argument between the two friends faded as she ascended the staircase.

She pushed open the door to find Lena at her dresser drawer brushing her hair. One side of her hair was already plaited into a braid which fell over her shoulder and she was currently working on doing the same to the other side of her hair.

"Oh," Hermione said placing the tea and cake on the desk, "You look cute."

It was true. Clearly this D.A. meeting meant more to her than Lena had let on.

Lena stopped and looked at Hermione before putting her brush down and untying her hair.

"No, what are you doing?" she said instantly rushing over to Lena, "You looked nice."

Lena made a strange movement with her shoulders and Hermione wasn't adept as Ernie was to understand what that meant.

They clearly had more progress to make with Lena.

"What's wrong?" she asked her friend in concern now, "Are you nervous about the meeting?"

Lena didn't reply and looked like she was reverting to her natural instinct of keeping her thoughts inside. Hermione didn't want to push her, she hoped that if she wanted to confide in her she would do so when she was ready.

"I made some tea and brought some cake for you," Hermione said gestering to the tray on the desk.

Lena nodded but didn't reply.

"Um..."

"I would like to be alone," Lena cut her off and Hermione looked at her friend in concern.

"If you're sure."

Another nod.

Hermione bit back a sigh and walked out of the room but not before saying quickly,

"Please drink the tea before it cools."

She wasn't sure if Lena heard her as she was staring at her reflection with a strange expression on her face.

Hermione closed the door and slumped her shoulders. She had wanted to comfort Lena but it looked like that she wanted to be left alone for now. She supposed that when it came to Lena, not unlike Ron she liked to be left alone to think and cool down before dealing with a situation.

She turned to walk down the stairs but froze when she saw Ginny walking up the stairs. The ginger-haired girl was too distracted flipping through a magazine to notice Hermione until they were only meter apart.

Ginny dropped the magazine to her side and the smile disappeared from her face. They stood facing each other for a moment before Ginny walked past Hermione.

"When you told me to stay away from your brother, that was for his sake not mine wasn't it?"

Silence.

Hermione turned to face her but Ginny still had her back to Hermione.

She was about to give up and walk away, she didn't want to provoke her friend either. She just missed her.

"You think that hearing a few tid-bits from Harry makes you an expert does it?" Ginny said tightly, "Well it doesn't, not until you lived it, not until you watch your brother struggling with some unknown monster and being unable to help."

Hermione remained silent. Ginny was right after all and she really couldn't defend herself.

"You are so patient and compassionate with other people, even someone like Helena, a Slytherin and yet you treat my brother who has only ever supported you and been a good friend to you so horribly - maybe not directly but your actions have ended up hurting the one person who you told me you loved the most in all the world."

Ginny finally turned to look at her face to face.

"You want to know why I was so close to you during these last few months? Yes, it was nice pretending that you were the old Hermione but more important than that, I had to make sure what kind of person you are - whether I could trust you anymore. You think a few days of not speaking to me are bad? If you ever dared to set foot in our house or anyone else from my family saw you what kind of welcome do you think you will get?"

Hermione bowed her head and stared at the floor, her throat tightening as she listened to Ginny's words.

"I don't know what to do," Hermione confessed, "I don't know what to do to make it better for him, for all of you. I just -"

"You can start," Ginny cut Hermione off, "By stop playing with his emotions, one minute you're all over him the next you shouting at him."

'She wanted to say that that was a misunderstanding, that she was only upset and confused when she saw Lavender with Ron at Hogsmeade but Ginny already knew that and even she didn't think that excused her behaviour towards Ron.'

The door opening caught both their attentions and Lena stared at them from the doorway.

"From what Weasley tells me they have always been like that, its a trademark of their relationship, why is it different now?"

Ginny gaped at Lena.

"You were eavesdropping?"

"No," Lena said with a straight face, "I can just hear you from my inside my room."

"You could have cast an impenetrable charm or something," Ginny said in disbelief.

"Why?" Lena said completely straight-faced, "I'm not the one being loud."

Ginny looked at Hermione and then they both burst out laughing.

But Ginny quickly recovered and the smile faded from her face.

"I-I miss talking to you," Hermione admitted to her friend.

Ginny shrugged and turned to leave and Hermione sighed.

"Me too," Ginny said just before she walked off to her room.

Hermione watched her friend leave.

"The tea is cold."

Hermione turned to Lena who was still standing in the doorway.

Hermione smiled at her and entered the room.

She pulled out her wand and heated up the pot. She frowned when nothing happened. She stared at her wand for a moment before trying again. Again nothing.

Hermione reached out to touch the teapot and she felt an electric shock.

"Ow," she said shaking her hand.

"Oh," Lena said walking over to the pot and pouring them a cup each, "nice and hot now."

Hermione stared at the pot in confusion before looking at her wand in confusion.

* * *

**Lance,**

**I haven't heard from you in a while, I hope you are alright and I hope you don't mind that I kept going on and on like this, but I don't know who else to talk to.**

* * *

Everyone stood in a circle staring at the girl sitting on the floor.

Harry had blindfolded her and led her through the schools, he had doubled back a few times and seemed to walk up and down a few stairs before they made their way to the Room of Requirement but he wouldn't listen to any protests. He would do this his way and she really couldn't blame him for being overly cautious not with Umbridge walking the halls randomly interrogating students.

It was a wonder none of them had been targeted and Harry was still spouting conspiracy theories as to why they hadn't dragged Hermione in once they found out her bracelets were no longer working. If they knew at all.

When she entered the Room of Requirement she was actually surprised by who she saw there. She hadn't expected anyone and yet there were at least ten or so people there. She was pleasantly surprised. When she told Ron this he gave her a look which implied she was being naive and explained that most of them were there to interrogate her and protect the others should she turn out to be a spy.

Hermione frowned but she knew from the beginning that this would be an uphill battle. And more to the point, she knew that this had as much to do with her as it did about Lena. If she could prove that Lena, a person who everyone in the D.A. had every reason to hate and distrust, then she could prove to herself that she could also be trusted. She didn't understand how Ron could place so much trust in her, or in Hermione but she knew that if Lena didn't pass this test, then she really didn't know how to reconcile the two sides of her self, the one from her past that loved Ron and the one now who just didn't know what the hell she wanted.

"Alright," Harry said motioning for people to sit and they did though reluctantly and still with their wands pointed in Lena's direction.

"I want to say something," a voice said opposite from where Hermione sat.

Hermione looked over Lena's head to see the owner of the voice. The Ravenclaw girl had curly reddish blonde hair surrounding a small round face.

"Marietta don't," a girl next to her said grabbing at her hand. Hermione recognised her, Ginny had said her name was Cho Chang. She looked distressed as though she was trying to stop whatever her friend wanted to say.

"No, Cho," the girl said shaking her friends hand off, "I want to leave, I only came to see who she was so that I could make sure I could avoid her in future."

She saw Andrea who was sitting on the other side of Marietta roll her eyes before looking away.

"What are you implying."

Hermione wasn't surprised when Ernie's tense voice spoke up. She noticed Lena's head tilt slightly towards the voice, she instantly recognised the owner of course.

"Isn't it obvious," another boy said and Hermione recognised him as the Ravenclaw who had purposefully run his luggage cart into her leg earlier that semester, "No one trusts her and we're only here to try to convince the rest of you how bad an idea this is."

"Shut it Terry," Ron said in an exasperated tone, we've all discussed this, several times in fact and then everyone voted, so if you don't like it -"

"What?" the boy called Terry said, "Gonna corner me in some dark alley and beat me up?"

The Ravenclaw scoffed.

"Typical Gryffindor, all brawn no brains" he said under his breath to his friends but it was loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Don't talk about him like that you slimy little git!" the words were out of her mouth before she even knew she was speaking.

Hermione sat back down when she realised that she had jumped up off the floor and was pointing her wand at the Ravenclaw.

Everyone was staring at her, though she thought she saw a few smirks from fellow Gryffindors.

"Sorry," she said embarrassed, "Don't know where that came from."

She thought she saw Ginny bite back a laugh and a raised eyebrow from Ron caused her face to heat up.

Hermione was thankful when Ernie spoke.

"Just because she's a Slytherin doesn't automatically make her -"

"Evil," Marietta provided earning a glare from Ernie.

"Enough of this," Harry said a weary look on his face, "The reason she's here tonight is so we can ask her questions in person, so that those of you who are still unsure can find out for yourselves if she is truly a spy."

"Yeah but she could just lie about it," Mareitta added.

"Which is why," Hermione cut in, she knew it would come to this, "I made this."

Everyone turned to stare at the small vial in her fingers.

"Veratiserum."

"Brilliant," Ron said and Hermione bit back a smile.

"Here Lena," Hermione handed the vial to her friend and helped her drink the potion.

"How do you even know how to do that?" Terry asked her.

"Gryffindors are smarter than you think," Hermione replied, "We just happen to brave as well as smart."

"Are you implying Ravenclaws aren't brave?"

"No I'm not, but Gryffindors will do things if their instincts tell them its right even if logically it may be the most daft idea in the world. Just like how Ron and Harry saved me from that troll even if I nagged him to death that first year."

"You - you remember that?" Ron said suddenly.

She turned and swallowed at the intensity in his eyes.

"I - don't know..."

"So anyway," Ginny cut in when an awkward silence descended on the group, "Shall we get on with the questioning?"

Everyone looked at each other. No one prepared to ask the first question.

It surprised her when Andrea was the one who finally spoke.

"How did you find out about the D.A.?" she cast a significant look at Ernie when she asked the question.

"That was me -"

"I was asking her, not you," Andrea snapped at Hermione.

Hermione bit back a retort and waited for Lena to reply.

Lena took a long time before she answered and a few smug looks were pointed in Harry's general direction.

"Lena," Ernie said encouragingly.

Lena bit her lip.

"Weasley?"

Ron sighed from beside Harry.

"It's fine, you can tell them."

Ernie shot Ron a strange look but his attention quickly returned to Lena.

"I found out when I was visiting Ron in St Mungo's. He mentioned it in one of his...lapses. "

Hermione glanced over at Ron and saw his face pale slightly at the words.

Everyone in the room remained silent and there were a few wary looks between a few of the groups.

"Why did you want to join?"

"I wanted to have friends," Lena replied in her simple manner, and Hermione felt her affection for her friend grow.

"Oh," Luna said from beside Ginny, "That's just like me. Don't worry, the D.A. is just like having friends."

Ginny smiled at Luna and placed a hand on the blonde girls arm.

"We are your friends, Luna."

"That's nice," Luna said with a smile.

"Merlin's beard would someone just -" Terry boot said in exasperation before he jabbed his friend in the ribs.

The boy rubbed his ribs before looking at Andrea, Andrea shrugged her shoulders at him and he turned to Lena.

"Alright, I'll ask, are you a spy for Umbridge."

"No."

"Well that was lovely, now can we get on with actually learning magic?" Andrea said suddenly jumping up from the floor. She brushed herself off and headed over to one side of the room, the boy who had asked the question followed her.

A few in the group still looked dissatisfied but didn't complain when Harry reached forward and took off Lena's blindfold.

Lena blinked a few times and her eyes fixed on the person directly in front of her which happened to be Ernie.

"Hello," she said before putting her glasses on.

"Hello," he replied reaching forward to help her up from the floor.

"Nicely done with the potion," Ginny said from beside her before walking off.

Hermione watched her friend leave before turning her attention to Lena.

"Welcome to the D.A."

She heard a few gasps and it was no wonder.

Lena was smiling and what a difference that one act made.

"Thank you," Lena replied her smile broadening as her eyes surveyed the room, "Thank you so much."

* * *

Hermione watched as Ernie adjusted Lena's fingers so that she could perform the 'protego' charm correctly. Lena was listening carefully to his words and it must have been the most that he had spoken to her because she was looking up at him with wide eyes as though she had never heard his voice before.

He caught her staring and laughed at her.

"They're doing that thing again," a voice said in annoyance from beside her, Hermione glanced over to see Andrea standing with her servant, what was his name again, oh yes, Zacharias Smith. Something about him rubbed her the wrong way but for some reason she didn't think he was a Ravenclaw and yet he was wearing a Ravenclaw servant's uniform.

He rolled his eyes at Andrea.

"If you're done gawking Andy," for a second she thought he was talking to her but then Andrea elbowed him in the ribs.

"Whose gawking, my boyfriend is just over there with another girl is all, its my right to know what their talking about."

"Short leesh much?" Smith mumbled in response.

"What? What was that?" Andrea replied indignantly.

"Nothing, I didn't say a word milady."

Andrea scoffed at him.

"Shove it," she said before turning and walking from the room, "Remember to wash and iron my clothes before you go to sleep tonight.

"Yes milady," Smith said in a bored voice.

"Oh just shut up."

"Yes milady."

Hermione turned her attention back to Lena and stepped back when she realised that her friend was now was walking over to her.

"I will go to sleep now," Lena said yawning and Hermione nodded in understanding.

"Did you want milk or something before bed, I could -"

"Hermia," Lena emphasised the nickname to get her attention and Hermione looked up at her, "You can return to Ron, I no longer require your ser- your help."

Hermione appreciated her wording and nodded her head though she was reluctant to leave her friend just yet.

Lena looked at her at her expectantly but Hermione didn't really know what she wanted from her.

"Weasley does make a habit of staring when you aren't looking."

Hermione's eyes widened and she turned to find Ron but he had his back to her and was talking to Neville about something.

"I said," Lena said slowly and for her that probably meant she was exasperated with Hermione, "when you aren't looking."

Hermione laughed at that and she caught Ernie's disapproving glare over Lena's shoulder. And it suddently occured to her that Ernie was jealous, not of her specifically but the fact that he would no longer be the only person Lena could rely on. Actually a few hufflepuff's had warily introduced themselves to Lena, and the Gryffindors were already used to her by now and simply gave her nods of acknowledgement.

"I'll walk with you back to the common room at least," Hermione said when Lena picked up her bag.

She spared one final glance in Ron's direction before leaving the room. It looked like she would have to wait until tomorrow to bring up her hallucinations with him.

* * *

**_"Hermione! Hermione! Are you alright?"_**

**_Hermione groaned and slowly opened her eyes. The harsh lights in the room hurt her eyes as though she hadn't used her eyes for a long time. She tried to move but her muscles ached and she couldn't quite make them move the way she wanted to which frustrated her more - angered her in fact._**

**_"Baby please look at me."_**

**_The words brought her attention to the person staring down at her, she realised after a moment that he was holding her in his lap. She blinked when a drop of water - or was it blood dripped from his face down to hers._**

**_She opened her mouth to speak but her throat ached._**

**_Someone held a glass of water to her lips and she drank as though it was the most delicious drink she had ever tasted. She saw dark blobs in her peripheral vision and realised that there was more than one person in the room._**

**_"Are you alright love?" the person holding her said when she had finished the water._**

**_She stared at the red-haired boy. Why did he keep calling her by strange names? 'Baby'? 'Love'? Was those her name? But surely a person only had one name._**

**_"'Mione, are you alright?" he said again when she didn't reply._**

**_'He must be talking to me.'_**

**_"Yes," she said coughing from the effort and she thirsted for more water._**

**_Her eyes widened when the person holding her suddenly lifted her up and held her to him. She felt his body shaking and she felt something warm trickle down her neck. When he pulled his head back she realised that he was crying. She also saw that his there was a long red cut on his forehead. He was hurt and that bothered her. She wanted to reach up and heal the wound but her body still didn't respond the way she wanted it to._**

**_She stared at him in confusion. He had stopped talking and was just staring at her now._**

**_He smiled at her as though she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and she had no idea why._**

**_"Wh -" she gulped and tried again cringing at the blood she tasted on her lips._**

**_"What is is it 'Mione?" he said the corner of his eyes crinkling as he smiled at her._**

**_She stared at his face for a long moment before finally speaking._**

**_"Who- who are you?"_**

**_With those words she felt the strength leave her body and the world turned black._**

* * *

_Lance,_

_It paralyses me because I am starting to think I know why I feel this way and how the hell am I supposed to deal with that when it comes..._

_H~_


	30. Cannot stay the same

**A/N: **Thank you all for reading and reviewing. It is incredibly humbling each time I read a review/comment from you. I know I am not a perfect writer, I'm just an amateur and do this for fun. Thank you for understanding that I have to juggle having a real life with its messy problems like paying bills, working and studying with writing. I also want to thank those who provide me constructive criticism, it is invaluable to me and I will take all constructive comments into account as I learn and continue writing.

Would y'all be interested in a pdf version of the chapters to date? I was thinking of compiling them all into one pdf file for ebook convenience. Please leave a comment if you would like this and I will upload to my tumblr, (replace underscore with fullstops): cmtilney_tumblr_com

* * *

**Chapter 26 - Cannot stay the same**

_**Lance,**_

_**Do you know that feeling you get at the beginning of the week - and you just know that it's not going to be your week? Yeah that's how I feel today.**_

_**Hermione.**_

* * *

Hermione smiled.

Ron was walking with Harry and Ginny down Hogsmead. She had heard that they were taking him down to the Hogshead for his birthday.

"Sign here," the clerk behind the counter said in a droll tone.

Hermione turned and signed the piece of parchment on the counter, thanked the man before picking up the packages she had asked her mother to send her. She still couldn't use the owls in the Owlery and she had started to think that despite Ron's assurances that his owls would deliver any letters she sent that they were being intercepted somehow. It had been a few weeks and she had still not heard from Lance. Since then she had decided to send her letter through the postal service which Lavender worked at. They office usually only accepted wizarding mail and the like but having a friend who worked in the post office had its advantages. She had seen Lavender earlier, she was pulling on a cloak and urging Hermione to get to the Hogs head, the only pub in the village or store for that matter that didn't frown upon servants and masters sociallising in the same place. They had arranged for Ron to have Ron's party there, which was also the reason why she had seen them some weeks earlier, they had apparently gone there to scope out the place and whether the members of the D.A could gather without suspicion, but it wasn't exactly a problem, the Hogs Head wasn't exactly the most popular place in the village which was good in its way as it allowed them all to have a certain amount of privacy. It was apparently going to be a surprise party but she had a feeling that Ron wouldn't like that very much. Something about a whole room of people focusing on him rather than on his famous friend Harry or one of his brothers would have made him deliriously happy before - _before_ the accident but now, she got the impression that he really didn't like to be the focus of attention. She had seen him get in peoples faces if they questioned Harry and even for her sake but when it came to him, he seemed to want to fade into the background.

She didn't even need for people to confirm what she had been suspecting for some time now, that most of the D.A. knew something had happened to Ron after she had lost her memory. She wasn't sure if they thought he had really been injured rather than her in their third year or that he had just been angry for a long time but she still remembered what he was like before she realised who she was, or who she used to be.

Memories of him barking orders at her, throwing his clothes and things at her when she came into the dorm without his permission flashed before his mind. She hadn't known it at the time and she had dismissed it as him just being an jerk, but in those moments after he had thrown ink pots or cups in her direction there was a flash of regret, guilt and sadness.

He had watched his expression blank as she was pushed aside by Malfoy's friends and others who weren't as accepting of her blood status as those in the D.A. were. She couldn't be sure what he was thinking at those times, whether he was watching to make sure she wasn't hurt too seriously by those bullies or whether he thought she deserved to be treated that way. She dismissed the last thought as soon as it had crossed her mind. Ron had been rude, mean and thoughtless at times but he was not cruel. He would never do anything to hurt.

Even when Malfoy had attacked her in the Owlery, which felt so very long ago now, and he had cast that spell at her, the pain of being hurt that way physically and emotionally quickly ebbed away when she saw the look in his eyes. His eyes which she knew could shine so brightly when he smiled and had somehow faded over the last few months tortured her. There were moments before she remembered who he was, and when he would think there was no one around to notice that he would just sit by himself, completely motionless, staring off into nothingness and he would look so sad.

She knew that she was responsible for that light going out. She grabbed her satchel tighter thinking of the gift she had planned for his birthday. She hoped more than anything it would make him smile, that it would show him that even if she wasn't his Hermione, she was still...

Her thoughts trailed off as she pushed open the side entrance, the servants entrance, to the Hogs head and saw Ron surrounded by his friends. He was seated in a booth near the window, the table filled with drinks and magical candy, she saw a chocolate frog leap onto of Ron's head and smiled. Ron watched with amusement as his his friends made strange animal noises or shout as though their mouths were on fire, and she thought she saw Seamus spit fire for a second. Though he ate a few bits of candy it was no where near the amount that he would normally eat. Hermione checked the smile on her face when a few customers eyed her approaching the counter. She had suspected as much. They had planned a celebration for Ron but there was no food. Well, she glanced over at the table as the Dean and Harry argued over the merits of muggle versus wizarding sports, Ron was eyeing the candy as though expecting it to suddenly change into something else.

She should have felt guilty, after all she was the one who told Harry and Ginny about her plans and they agreed. It sent a flutter of excitement through her as she turned to ask the lady behind the counter whether her order was ready.

She managed to stop herself from skipping out of the Hogs Head and walked with her basket of food back to Hogwarts. She pulled her cloak tighter around hurried along the path.

She stopped dead she turned a bend in the road and saw who was walking straight towards her.

Malfoy.

She stepped back and thought frantically whether to risk walking past him hoping he wouldn't notice or just to hide until he had passed. Before she decide she heard him speak.

"What are you doing here?" he said in annoyance and she almost jumped thinking he had seen her afterall.

But when she turned and peeked around the corner she saw Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle facing someone in a dark cloak. They were facing towards Malfoy and had pulled the hood of the cloak up so she couldn't see their face. She knew it was a girl at least from the socks and shoes which peaked out from the bottom of the cloak.

"What's this?" she heard Malfoy say to the girl before the sound of a letter being opened.

Malfoy scoffed before looking the person up and down.

"Stop shivering, I'm not going to eat you," he said and his friends laughed in response.

"But I guarantee you this," Malfoy said as he leaned closer to the girl, "If this information is wrong, well...your parents might suffer a terrible accident. Lots of terrible accidents at the Ministry these days."

The girl didn't say anything in response but simply nodded he head furiously before running off down the road.

Malfoy and his friends sneered at the disappearing figure before he pocketed the letter. Hermione realised that he was walking towards her once more and she had no where to go.

She moved back frantically and bumped right into someone. She looked up just as Malfoy and his croonies rounded the corner.

"You dropped this," Zacharias Smith said handing her a package. She took the package from Smith's hands just as Malfoy walked past. When Malfoy looked in their direction she looked straight ahead at Smith and grabbed the package tightly to her chest. She didn't dare breathe until the slytherin's disappeared down the road.

"Thanks," she said trying to calm her racing heart before realising that the package was cold against her chest.

She looked at it in confusion before it was ripped from her fingers by Smith.

He didn't even say anything in response before walking ahead of her. She hurried to catch up to him.

"What is that?" she said after a moment, her usual curiosity getting the better of her.

Smith sighed in exasperation, which she noticed he did a lot to people including Andrea, who was technically his owner. She swallowed the bitter taste back down her throat at that thought and was caught off guard when he finally spoke to her.

"Icecream," Smith practically grunted at her.

"Oh," she said in response and they fell into silence as they walked back to school.

She tried a few more times to make conversation with Zacharias, she didn't like the thought of not knowing someone who was in a similar situation to her own. If he was a member of the D.A. he couldn't be a bad person.

At her fifth attempt to make conversation with him he sighed and stopped to look at her.

"Leave me alone mudblood," he spat at her before walking across the courtyard that led to the main entrance hall.

Hermione stared at him in shock.

It wasn't the first time she had been called that, but for someone who was also a servant to call her that, she couldn't even begin to understand it. Why would someone who was also a muggleborn call her that?

Had she done something to offend him?

Hermione's eyes widened slightly when she reached the courtyard that led to the entrance hall and saw two people she never thought she would ever see socialising with each other. Andrea was sitting on a bench, a book in her lap, Lena was sitting next to her. Lena was talking in a low voice and it almost seemed as though she was either consolling Andrea about something which had upset her or asking something of her. She couldn't be quite sure as Andrea sat her head turned away from Lena with a far away look in her eyes then after a moment she turned to Lena, her lips quivering before nodding her head. Hermione wondered what had happened but then Zacharias walked past them, he paused and must have noticed the expression on both girls faces because he turned to stop. He moved to stand a few meters away from them. He looked away from the girls but it was clear that he was waiting for Andrea.

Hermione assumed that they must have been talking about Ernie, it seemed the only topic that got either girls to show any genuine emotion and Hermione realised belatedly that she really hadn't spent much time with her friend lately. In between the D.A., her research and adjusting to life as Ron's servant again her friend seemed to just slip to the back of her mind. She felt incredibly guilty about it especially since even though the members of the D.A. were nice enough to her, none of them had sough Lena out outside the meetings and other than her and Ernie, and possibly Ginny she didn't really talk to anyone. She knew that Lena was used to this, but Hermione had wondered for a long time if this was just from habit or whether she preferred it this way, Hermione had the feeling that it was the former, and the thought made her incredibly sad.

Lena got up, nodded at Hermione before she said her goodbyes and walking back inside. Andrea sat for a moment longer staring at the ground before looking up and seeing Hermione. Andrea's eyes turned to Smith as though finally realising he was there, he walked over and she looked up at him.

For the first time his usual scowl was gone and he looked genuinely concerned for her.

"You alright?" was all Hermione heard before Andrea shook her head and they walked back inside, he offered her his arm and she looped her own in his.

Smith cast a look back at her and his scowl returned, which Andrea caught and it looked like it was her turn to ask him what was wrong.

Perhaps he was just having a bad day, or perhaps he just didn't like being around people. When she had first met Lena she had seemed odd too, talking in a way that made you feel on edge, because you couldn't tell what she was really thinking, but Lena was now one of her closest friends. Even if it weren't for Lena she knew how it felt to be discounted just because you didn't act the way people expected you to.

She wondered what she could do to get him to talk to her. She wasn't really sure what his relationship with Andrea was, as far as she could tell he acted every bit of the servant and yet something behind his eyes was almost mocking whenever he spoke to her. As for Andrea, she was incredibly pretty and Hermione understood why boys watched her when she entered the room and yet there was something about her that seemed odd. Her outward personality suited Ernie, she had spied them before they had started to have problems in their relationship, Andrea obviously made Ernie laugh and enjoy himself. It was something beneath her eyes though, just like with Zacharias, something that she couldn't quite put her finger on, but there was more to her than just a fun-loving persona. She was incredibly intelligent and seemed to have a quiet confidence in her work and she had been one of the few who didn't question Lena's loyalties. Hermione had suspected that she and Lena had formed some kind of strange truce, though Lena had been openly hostile towards Lena before, it had seemed to have cooled down lately ever since Lena had joined the D.A. Despite her skills as a witch, there was still a vulnerability in her eyes these days when she looked at Ernie, Hermione had seen it most acutely when she saw her watching Ernie talking and instructing Lena in D.A. meetings.

It definitely wasn't an ideal situation for either girls but Ernie was with Andrea, he had chosen her. And as far as Hermione could tell he wasn't even aware that his childhood friend was in love with him, let alone the possibility that they are brother and sister, which Hermione had wanted to question Lena more on but the look on Lena's face whenever she open her mouth to try stopped her. She didn't want to cause her friend any additional hurt, she would just wait and if Lena chose to confide in her than she would be there for her.

Hermione pushed open the wooden door to the kitchens and stopped short when she saw Smith at the table unwrapping the package he had been carrying. She hung up her cloak and walked over to the table depositing her bag and basket before moving to put on her apron.

She started when a gruff voice said from behind her.

"Sorry 'bout before."

Hermione turned but Zacharias was already walking back to the table.

She approached the table and began taking out the food from her basket. She watched him for a while, noticing that had two small tubs of icecream. So that's why it had been cold.

He looked up at her when he felt her staring.

"Sorry," she said immediately, "But you do know how cold it is outside right?"

He stared at her for so long she began to feel uncomfortable.

"Yeah, I know," he said finally and Hermione looked up from the table.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times before shrugging at her.

"Andy loves ice-cream."

"Who?"

"Andrea," he said after a moment's pause as though he didn't really want to tell her, or perhaps he wanted to avoid anymore conversation.

She saw he was about to leave and said quickly.

"About before," she said stepping towards him and he turned to look at her, "Don't worry about it."

"I won't," he said giving her that mocking look she had seen him have so often before he left the kitchen.

She wasn't sure whether to be upset with him or sorry for him. Well at least he and Andrea appeared to be friends, he wasn't alone.

* * *

_**Lance,**_

_**How is your family? I hope your father isn't giving you too much of hard time.**_

**_~Hermione._**

* * *

Hermione was just casting one final spell when the door to the astronomy tower opened. This particular spot of the astronomy tower had begun to feel like their own separate world that she couldn't really think of anywhere else to do this.

Ron stood in the doorway, his hand still on the door handle as he stared at her in astonishment. She smiled in response to shocked expression.

She glanced around the balcony lit with floating jars of bluefire flames and the floor spread with a picnic blanket and trays of his favourite muggle food, pizza, spaghetti and meatballs, hot rolls of bread and to top it off a red velvet birthday cake. She had chosen to make a velvet cake because she had a very vivid memory as she stood in the kitchen earlier that day of being covered in flour as Ron walked towards her and licked some icing off of her neck. She flushed at the memory as she felt a shiver go up her spine, she really couldn't make any other cake after that memory.

The idea had come to her as she was agonising what to get him for his birthday. She didn't remember everything about their time at Shell cottage, but she did know that they couldn't use magic and that meant Ron had been forced to eat only muggle food made the traditional muggle way. She felt that Ron would appreciate the time and love in the food she had made for him. From the look in his eyes as he stared at the food in delight, his eyes sparkling like she had never seen before made her heart race and her chest ache.

She saw him chuckle when he noticed that instead of wine there was soda in a bucket of ice.

"Happy birthday!" she said when he finally looked at her, she swallowed as she felt her whole body heat up at the look he was giving her. She was pretty sure he had no idea what effect he was having on her and if only she hadn't started remembering intimate memories of them together. It was hard watching him staring up at the floating jars of bluebell flames to push aside the constant flashes of memory.

_**Ron's shallow breathing, his intense gaze as he pushed her against a wall the dark corridor that led to her room in Shell Cottage. The feel of his fingers as he trailed them up her arms causing her breath to hitch and heart to race.** _

He gave the jars of bluefire a fond smile before turning to look at her, and Hermione quickly pushed the memory aside.

He seemed to struggle to speak for a few seconds and simply gave up, taking the few strides it took with his longs legs to reach her and wrap her up in a tight embrace.

Hermione let out a small gasp of surprise, closing her eyes to revel in the heat radiating off his body.

**"_Beautiful, my beautiful girl," Ron whispered into her ear as his fingers trailed down her neck sending shivers through her and causing her breath to catch._**

Hermione bit her cheek to bring herself back to reality.

"Oh Hermione, this is just brilliant," he said before kissing her cheek.

Hermione faltered at the kiss, staring up at him with wide eyes as she could practically hear the walls she had put up to protect her fragile heart cracking. She quickly pushed aside the feelings rushing to the surface and smiled up at Ron when he stepped back and looked down at her.

"H-happy birthday," she repeated, fighting the urge to reach out and caress his cheek the same way he had done in her memory but instead she said, "And many more to come."

He reached over and took her hand as they walked over to the picnic blanket.

"We haven't done this in ages," he said grabbing a piece of pizza and biting into it before taking a seat.

She frowned at that. Had they done this before? When he looked back at her however she simply nodded her head, not wanting to ruin the mood with the reminder that she wasn't _his_ Hermione.

She wasn't _his_. She knew that but she had sworn to herself that for tonight, she would at least pretend to be his Hermione for Ron's sake. Even if -

"This is brilliant," Ron said through mouthfuls of spaghetti, spaghetti sauce already dripping down his chin, "I love your cooking 'Mione."

Hermione sipped on the soda he had handed her not trusting herself to speak lest she say something to give her away. She knew he would be hungry and she silently thanked Harry and Ginny for not ordering any food that would have ruined his appetite for the meal she prepared him. She had brought him some biscuits earlier that evening and he had practically inhaled them and she stepped back feeling slightly guilty when he asked her to bring him some sandwiches and she had flat out lied that she couldn't right now. It had been the perfect opportunity to ask him to meet him on the Astronomy tower, she wasn't sure he had heard her because he had groaned at her comment about the lack of food before he got up and went back to his room presumably to find some food.

She watched Ron eating with relish and warm feeling spread through her. She looked up at the bluebell flames wondering if Ron was cold, though the bluebell flames were pretty they didn't really provide any heat. She moved over to where she had placed her picnic basket, pushed aside the present she had bought Ron and picked up the extra few jars and the spare blanket she had brought in case it got cold later.

She watched Ron eating the spaghetti fondly before placing the jars in-between the trays of food.

"Inflamarae," she said before the red flame appeared in the jar, she held her hands over the flame for a moment to warm her hands before returning her wand to her pocket.

She noticed that Ron was staring at her, the piece of bread frozen mid-air. Her heart skipped a beat, did she just do something to upset him? Did he remember that she wasn't his Hermione?

After a moment he placed the bread back down on his plate and reached over to touch her cheek. She leaned into his warm touch despite herself.

"Thanks for this Hermione," he said slowly, "I didn't think you even knew when my birthday was."

_'So he hadn't been fooled by my act after all, he knew I wasn't his Hermione.'_

She struggled for a moment before grabbing a napkin and wiping the sauce from his face to avoid looking him in the eyes.

"Lavender told me," she said after putting the napkin away.

He dropped his hand from her cheek but he didn't look surprised or disappointed by what she said. She knew that he wasn't upset with her but she still felt some tension rise between them.

"I have a present for you," she said quickly hoping to get his mind off the fact that he wasn't with his real girlfriend at the moment.

She took out the small blue box tied with red ribbon.

He stared at it for a moment before thanking her and opening it. She watched anxiously as he tore off the ribbon and stared at the contents. He stared at it for a long time before looking up at her.

"What is it?" he said in genuine confusion.

"Guitar strings," she said lifting the curled up strings from the box, "I remember you played them at Shell cottage."

He frowned at her.

"I don't play the guitar," he said watching her carefully, "I've never played it."

She faltered then.

But she was sure she had memories of him playing the guitar.

"I-I'm sorry," she said quickly biting her lip, "I thought...I'll get you something else, I just made a stupid mistake."

She felt horrible. She thought for sure he would love it, that it would show him that even if she wasn't his Hermione she still knew him, in her own way.

She apologised again and moved to put the wound up guitar strings into the basket. Ron's hand on her's stopped her.

She froze and turned to look at him.

"It's alright," he said the look in his blue eyes softening before he took the guitar strings from her hands and staring at them.

"Thank you for the thought, and all of this," he waved his hand at the food and bluebell fire jars, "This is the best birthday I've ever had."

She tried to smile but felt like a complete idiot.

"And this," he said after a moment of staring at it, "is a great gift."

His eyes lit up as though he had a sudden idea and he simply pushed up his shirt sleeve and twisted the string around his wrist to make a bracelet. She saw him struggling to tie the end of the strings with one hand.

"Here let me," she said moving forward, she placed her wand on the string and whispered a spell under her lips.

The ends of the string tied together before twisting to form the letters '**RW**'.

Hermione looked up to find Ron staring at her with a lop-sided grin.

"Thanks," he said simply before hugging her, "This was the best birthday present anyone had ever given me."

She hugged him back, her mind latching on to the 'anyone' he used in his sentence.

_'Did that include Hermione?'_ she wondered briefly before squashing the thought.

_'Merlin,'_ she thought to herself as she rested her head on his shoulder,_ 'I have to stop feeling this way, it just isn't right.'_

As he pulled back and they continued to eat dinner under the stars and bluebell flames, she stared at him from the corner of her eyes.

_'He doesn't belong to me. No matter how much you may want something, you can't take what doesn't belong to you. It's not right.'_

She found the food a little harder to swallow but contented herself watching Ron, laughing at his jokes and reveling in his smile, not sure how long she would be able to enjoy it.

When she handed him a slice of the cake she saw amusement in his eyes, he glanced at her before down at the cake once more. She wasn't entirely sure if he did it deliberately but he what he did next caused her mouth to drop. He dropped a piece of cake on his hand and before she could say anything he had licked the icing off his hand. Hermione stared at his tongue as it peeked out from his mouth before he went back to eating the cake as though he hadn't just done _that_.

Ron looked up at her when he felt her eyes on him.

"What?" he said completely unaware of the effect he was having on her.

"Nothing," she said quickly before shoving a large piece cake into her mouth and looking determinedly out across the night sky.

* * *

_**Lance,**_

_**I am slowly coming to the realisation that no matter what I do, there will always be people whom I am supposed to have in my life. The only problem is, I'm not entirely sure I'm welcome in theirs...**_

_**H. **_

* * *

Ron helped her carry the basket of food and dishes down to the kitchens before they walked slowly back to the Gryffindor tower.

"This was fun," she admitted to him as they waited for the moving staircase to align for them to move up to the next level.

"It was," he agreed but his thoughts seemed elsewhere.

"I'm sorry that you couldn't eat a proper meal all day," she said guiltily and he laughed.

She had confessed half an hour into dinner that she had gotten Harry and Ginny in on the her plan. He had laughed then too, before confessing that he had gone down to the kitchens and found some bread and cheese to eat before he made his way up to meet her. He smiled sheepishly at her and tried to convince her that he still thought her food was great though. She just smiled and didn't say anything, marveling at the way the bluebell flames seemed to make his eyes sparkle back at her.

They continued in companionable silence the rest of the way to the common room. There was no one there except Ron's cat who was sitting on the bottom step leading to the boys dormitory. The ginger cat watched their approach unflinchingly.

They both knelt down to look at the cat.

"I don't think he likes me much," Hermione said when the cat avoided her hand when she tried to pat his head.

Ron chuckled.

"Is that true Crookshanks? You prefer me over Hermione huh?"

Hermione turned her head to watch Ron scratching the cat behind the ears as it purred appreciatively. She wondered if what she had seen the other day had been real or another strange hallucination brought about by sleeplessness and medicine.

"Here."

Hermione started when Ron grabbed her hand and moved her hand towards his cat. The cat eyed her but didn't move when she touched him. The poor thing sat completely rigid as she patted his head.

"I guess cats just don't like me."

"Nah," Ron said as they stood back up, "Crookshanks is just a bit of an old spoil sport."

The cat didn't seem to like that and got up from the staircase and walked off to sit beside the fireplace. Ron and Hermione smiled sheepishly before walking up the stairs. Hermione realised that she would have to stay here for the night as Lena had told her specifically to not stay with her anymore.

She moved from foot to foot as Ron reached the door to his room unsure of what to do. Should she wish him goodnight and sleep on the floor as she used to do? Just thinking about that time felt like a lifetime ago.

"What are you doing," Ron whispered to her from the open doorway, "get in."

"But -" she began but Ron simply pulled her inside.

The room was dark with only the light from the embers of the flame heater in the center of the room. She struggled for a moment reaching out in front of her to find her bearings when Ron's hand clasped around her wrists and he led her towards his bed.

With each step she became more nervous. She could feel herself beginning to sweat as they reached his bed. Her throat felt dry and her heart rather than race felt like it was beating incredibly slowly causing an aching sensation pass through her with each heartbeat.

She tried not to shriek in surprise when Ron's face was suddenly very close to hers as he whispered into her ears.

"Lena told me that she kicked you out, I had Dobby place a cot next to my bed."

Hermione took a few steps forwards, to get away from Ron as well as giver her a chance to breath again. Her eyes were getting used the darkness and she was able to see the cot in the sliver of moonlight that passed through the window and moved to sit down but Ron's arm on her elbow stopped him.

"No, the bed," he said.

"What?" she said before covering her mouth with her hand. They both looked around them but saw that all the boys were still sleeping, though Harry was thrashing about. Ron saw her staring at Harry.

"Don't worry about it," he told her, "He's been having bad dreams for a few months now."

Hermione nodded before looking back at the cot.

"W-what do you mean the bed?"

She could practically feel Ron's smirk though she couldn't quite make out his face in the dark.

"You can sleep in the bed, I'll take the cot."

"I can't let you do that," she protested instantly.

She heard Ron sigh.

"We'll alternate days if you like but for tonight you sleep in the bed," he said this while pushing over to his bed until she was forced to sit down on it, "It's the least I can do after you made me dinner."

He moved away from her after that and she listened as he got comfortable in the cot. She looked at the bed, before climbing into the warm covers. She enveloped herself in the blanket and took a deep breath.

They smelt like Ron.

She clenched the blankets tighter to her body.

"Goodnight Hermione," Ron whispered to her.

"Happy birthday Ron," she replied.

* * *

Hermione wasn't entirely sure what time it was when she had woken up but she could still hear the boys in the room snoring so it must have been early. She laid in the bed for a few more minutes before turning to her side. The curtains around the bed were pulled closed but she knew that on the other side of that curtain Ron lay sleeping.

She wondered at her behaviour last night.

The creeping realisation had really hit her over the head last night. She liked Ron. She liked him in a way that she hadn't even realised she was capable of liking someone. It had never occurred to her that she could feel this way, that until this moment she could feel so strongly connected to someone. She didn't know when or how exactly it had happened but watching him as they sat side by side watching the stars last night, she knew she would never feel that way about anyone ever again. She didn't know if Ron would feel the same way about her since he was still so obviously love with his real girlfriend, but she knew that even if she would move on and be with someone else, the thought of which hurt just as much as knowing that he was in love with someone else, Ron would always hold a special place in her heart. Anyone else after him would never have such a strong hold of her heart. She felt it even more keenly when she had flashes of Hermione's memories or when she slipped into Hermione's habits without realising. It was in those moments that she was the most happy and the most heartbroken. The realisation that she she liked Ron and at the same time that he would never, could never feel the same way about her, that every time he looked at her he was really seeing someone else.

She buried her face into the pillow.

The worst part was that she knew that she could never act on her emotions because -

"Hermione," Ron's voice broke through her inner thoughts, "You awake?"

She sat up, tried to flatten down her mess of hair but gave up and pulled aside the curtain. Ron was standing on the other side with adorable bedhair.

"Morning," she whispered to him.

"Mornin" he replied with a yawn, "We should get ready for class."

"Oh right," Hermione said before jumping off the bed almost tumbling right into Ron but he stopped her in time, "Sorry."

"s'fine," he sleepily rubbing the sleep from his eyes, "Just meet me in the common room in half an hour."

With that he crawled into his bed and she heard him snoring soon after. She frowned at him. She really didn't want to wake him but she was confused as to why he wanted her to meet him before his classes started. She looked at Ron's sleeping face, mouth agape and already deep in sleep. Hermione bit back a laugh and left the room to change and get ready.

Ron came stumbling down the stairs along with Harry, Neville, Dean and Seamus some twenty minutes or so later. Hermione had been reading a muggle novel and she slipped it into the cushions before getting up to greet the boys.

"Hi Harry," she said happily.

Harry looked miserable and barely glanced at her before walking past her.

"What's wrong with Harry?" she questioned Ron as they other boys left the common room, leaving them alone.

Ron just shook his head at her.

"Bad dreams is all," Ron said looking her up and down.

"Where's your apron and Slytherin tie?" he questioned her.

"I left it in Lena's room and since she doesn't want me helping her now I thought I wouldn't need to wear it."

Ron frowned at her.

"I think it would be best to wear it rather than you Gryffindor tie when you're in class with me."

It took her several seconds to register what he had just said to her. When she had digested his words her eyes bulged and she started jumping excitedly causing Ron to step away from her and was looking at her like she was insane.

"I'm going to class with you?" she said breathlessly her hand clasped together as she bounced up and down.

Ron chuckled.

"Yeah," he said a grin appearing on his face, "Weren't you listening to what I said yesterday?"

Hermione's mind went back to the day before. She remembered Ron mumbling something to her as she fell asleep but had thought she had just imagined it.

"I was worried about it before but Lena suggested I ask Smith to show you the ropes," Ron continued ignoring the excited noises she was making though he still looked amused.

"I don't care who it is, I just want to go," she said smiling so much that it was starting to hurt.

"Okay," Ron said laughing at her, "They're meeting us in the entrance hall, so -."

Hermione didn't even wait for him to finish, she grabbed his arm and ran towards the portrait hole. They were halfway down the stairs before she felt Ron tug his hand out of hers. She looked back and quickly straightened herself and checked her grin as two second year Ravenclaws walked past them, they glanced at her and Ron but didn't say anything before moving on.

"Should be careful round the first and second years," Ron whispered to her, "They weren't here when muggleborns were students so they wouldn't know that you're just like them."

Hermione simply nodded in understanding. Her excitement still bubbling insider her but she made sure not to show it now. As they descended the staircase though she had to fight to hide the smile on her face.

Ernie waved up at them, she knew better than to wave back though and simply nodded at him. Lena was no where in sight and she wondered briefly if her friend had known about this arrangement, Ron had said he had discussed it with her which she supposed made sense as she was still technically both of their servants, but that thought dimmed her excitement somewhat so she pushed it aside.

Ernie's girlfriend and her servant Zacharias Smith stood waiting for them. Andrea shot a look at Zacharias when he seemed to mumble something in her ear, she didn't look amused. Andrea who was always impeccably dressed without a hair out of place looked pale and her eyes were slightly puffy as though she had been crying. It hadn't been obvious from afar but when she stepped up to them she saw the redness in her eyes and the girl shot her a look and Hermione instantly looked away embarrassed at being caught staring.

"Hi," Hermione said to Smith trying to give him a friendly smile, he looked resigned to being her guide but his face told her that he would rather be doing anything else.

"Be nice Harry," Andrea said before turning to talk to Ron and Ernie.

'_Harry?'_ Hermione noted briefly, for a second check to see if Harry was anywhere in sight but Andrea was looking at Smith.

"Well lets get on with it," Smith said before he walked off.

She looked at Ron who just nodded to her before he, Ernie and Andrea walked into the Great hall for breakfast.

Hermione turned and hurried after Zacharias.

"You should have your apron on," he said when she reached him which was difficult given his height and long strides, "Always have your apron."

He brushed invisible lint off his own, before handing her a quill and notepad.

"Whats this for?" she said taking them off him as they rounded a corner.

"For notes, class notes or notes on other things or just to remind yourself of something that your master wants."

"Alright," she said placing the quill and notepad into her pocket for now, "But you know they're not really our masters."

"Whatever," he said before stopping suddenly and opening a door, "Get in."

She did as he said. They were in a classroom, she wasn't sure which one as it had been some time since she had been in one. Smith walked ahead of her and stopped at a desk on the right side of the room, furthest from the door. He opened the satchel at his side and took out a notebook, some ink and quill which he placed neatly on the table. He spent some time arranging the items carefully before turning to her expectantly.

"Weasley's desk is in the centre, second row from the last."

Hermione located the desk and inspected it, there was nothing inside the desk. She looked up when Smith walked over to her.

"Well?"

"Well...what?"

He looked her up and down before sighing.

"Don't tell me you didn't even grab his school books?"

Hermione blinked at him and seemed to shrink slightly under his gaze.

"By your blank look, I'd say yes," he finished for her before pinching the bridge of his nose, "Okay look, when he gets here, grab his bag off him and get all his books out quickly, do it without tripping, without drawing attention to yourself and do not - DO - NOT look at anyone."

Hermione checked off everything he said and nodded her head in understanding. She started when the door opened and a few other people walked in, she didn't recognise them but she knew that they were also from Ravenclaws and given their uniforms and how they too began placing books and things onto desks that they were servants as well.

"H -"

Smith grabbed her by the elbow and she turned to him.

"Do not talk to anyone," he hissed before he pulled her to the back of the room where there was a row of benches against the wall.

They both sat down and waited.

"So," she whispered as a few more servants trickled in, "Why does Andrea call you Harry?"

"Hari," Smith corrected her, "H-A-R-I, not 'Harry' like your attention seeking halfblood friend. It's short for my name, 'Zac_**hari**_as', and she does it because she knows it pisses me off, its the only reason she does anything."

Hermione raised an eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean 'attention seeking', Harry is not -"

"Shut up," he said quickly just as students began to pile in.

She saw and Harry walk and she smiled at him. Ron looked straight past her and walked to his desk.

"What are you doing?" Smith hissed at her, "Get his books."

"Oh right," she said feeling like an idiot as she hurried to get to Ron's desk.

She reached it just as Ron sat down, he took off his bag and she took it off him. He didn't even look at her and instead turned around in his seat and started talking to Neville. Hermione sighed internally and quickly took out his school things. When she had finished she handed the bag back to Ron but he ignored her and when she looked back at Smith he motioned for her to walk back towards him.

She turned and pulled Ron's bag around her shoulder but not before she hit someone over the head.

"Watch it," the Ravenclaw said rubbing his head.

"Sorry," she said quickly and she felt it.

She stood back and realised that everyone was staring at her. She thought she saw Smith in the back of the room look up a the ceiling as though expecting it to fall down on top of him or perhaps cursing at the heavens.

"Get out of my sight," Ron said in annoyance, "Before you embarrass me any further."

Hermione swallowed not daring to look at anyone as she ran down the aisle and back to her seat next to Smith.

She could practically feel the anger radiating off of him as she sat beside him but kept her mouth shut as he had instructed.

When Smith suddenly jumped up, she almost did the same, but she calmed her nerves when he walked over to Andrea. She held out her quill to him and he took out another from his pocket and gave it to her. She didn't even acknowledge him before returning to writing her notes. She was really the only one who was. Hermione didn't remember hearing about a ghost as a teacher but there he was, floating in front of the classroom, reciting some historical fact or another in a droll monotonous tone. When Smith sat back down beside her, he took out a small knife from his pocket and began fixing Andrea's quill. Hermione gave up trying to figure out Smith intentions and why a hufflepuff was the servant of a Ravenclaw student and instead turned back to the listening to Professor Binns. She glanced in Ron's direction and saw that his head was on the desk and he looked like he was asleep. Harry was beside him, he wasn't asleep but wasn't paying attention, rather he was chewing on the end of his pencil deep in thought.

She took out the notepad and quill from her pocket and took down a few notes from Professor Binns lecture that interested her. If she had time perhaps she could read up on at the library, perhaps Ron would join her. She looked up and saw he was still sleeping. Or not.

"Well that wasn't a complete disaster," Hermione said as she and Smith trailed after the students. Smith didn't say anything in response so she continued, "By the way do you mind if I call you Zach, your name's a bit of a mouthful."

She saw his jaw clench when she spoke.

"No," he said before giving her that look he had been giving her all morning, as though she was the stupidest person on the planet, "do people call you 'her' or 'mi'? 'cause your names a bit of a mouthful too."

With that he turned away from her and they continued walking in silence. She noticed that the students all walked on the left side of the corridors, the servants on the right, with quite a bit of distance between the students and the servants.

They turned a corner and she saw the students mingling outside a classroom and though she looked over in envy at the Gryffindors talking amongst themselves and laughing she followed Smith inside the classroom.

"What class is this?" she whispered to Smith though she really didn't like asking him too many questions because he obviously didn't want to answer them.

He simply took out a Charms textbook and placed it on a desk she presumed was Andrea's. She looked around not sure which was Ron's, lucky for her Ron walked into the room and sat down just two seats in front of where she stood. She hurried over to him and handed him the textbook. He glanced up at her before nodding down at the desk. She looked over at Smith and saw him arranging all of Andrea's things on the desk before the girl herself walked in and sat down. Hermione quickly placed the textbook down in front of Ron and copied everything Zacharias did. She turned to walk to the back of the room but she noticed Ron move the ink pot to the other side of the desk, and shift the books around. before turning to ask Harry something. Harry seemed mumbled something at him before foldings his arms on the desk and resting his head on them.

Hermione was delighted when Professor McGonnagal stepped into the room.

'_Transfiguration_,' Hermione thought gleefully.

The Professor spotted Hermione in the back and she could have sworn that a smile creased her usually frowning lips but it was gone the next moment. She stared enraptured as the students practiced their wand movements and she mouthed the spell under her breath. She did all of this unconsciously however until Zacharias elbowed her in the ribs and she realised that she was moving her hand around in imitation of the students. She dropped it instantly and returned to watching the students, memorising every movement.

She noticed Andrea look back at them and Smith was on his feet instantly. Hermione noticed that Andrea had already managed to turn her hedgehog into a pincushion. It still had a hedgehog face and nose but they appeared to be part of the stitching unlike other students who were chasing after their scuttling pincushions. After a moment Smith returned. She would ask him what was wrong but knowing him he'd probably give some snide retort making her wish she could use her wand in front of the other students.

She heard the students groan as McGonnagal assigned them a new essay assignment. Hermione's ears pricked up and she wrote down the essay topic carefully.

_'Explain the origin and purpose of 'switching spells' as well as any of their unintended consequences.'_

Hermione felt giddy just thinking about it, she had heard about 'switching spells' before but never had time to read up on them. She hoped Ron wouldn't mind her researching along side him as he wrote his essay. She wrote down a reminder to ask him later that evening as well as a few other questions she had about the lesson.

When Transfiguration was finished the students left for their next class and she followed the other servants but her mind was racing with new ideas and new spells that she would love to try out tonight. She wondered if Ron would help her.

Zacharias pointed out Ron's desk to her and she laid out his things as she noticed he had liked them before stepping back and walking towards the back of the room. She didn't notice any benches there though and that confused her. She was just about to ask Zacharias about this when the students filed in and rather than talk to her, he simply grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her from the room. She saw the other servants sitting on the floor outside the classroom. Some were reading through their masters textbooks though they all jumped and quickly closed them every time they heard a noise.

Smith didn't let go of her arm however and he dragged her along with him as they walked down the hall and out into one of the school courtyards.

"What's going on?" she questioned him the instant some students crossing the courtyard disappeared from sight.

"You're free for the rest of the day," he said in response.

"Wait! Why?" she said grabbing his arm before he could walk off.

Smith gave her _that_ look again.

"That was the Defence against the dark arts class," he said slowly as though she were three years old, it set her teeth on edge but she resisted the urge to smack him across the head, "don't you know who the teacher of that class is?"

Hermione considered this for a moment.

"Umbridge?" she said after a moment.

"Yeah," he replied, "She doesn't even let servants into her classroom, do you really think she'd leave you alone if she saw the boy-wonder's servant?"

"Who...what are you talking about?"

"Harry Potter," Smith said rolling his eyes at her..

"I'm not Harry's servant, I'm Ron's," she said fixing Smith with a hard gaze, "what is your problem with Harry anyway?"

"Go read a freakin' newspaper sometime why don't you," he said before walking off.

"Hey!" she called after him before stepping in front of him to stop him, "Hey, in case you didn't realise, we're on the same side here."

Smith glared daggers at her.

"We are not the same," he seethed, "and I've no interest in becoming your next charity case or a member of your _spug_ or _spew_ or whatever it is called. You bloody Gryffindor's all think you save the world, well the rest of us aren't like that. I'm here for one reason only."

"And what is that?" she questioned when he trailed off.

"None of your bloody business," he said before pushing her aside and walking away.

"And what the hell is _spew_?" she shouted at his retreating back.

She found the boys lounging in the common room during afternoon tea. She walked over and set down a tray of cold drinks and snacks for them in a way of thanks for letting her tag along to some of their classes for today. Ron jumped at the snacks instantly and began eating the sandwiches she made for him.

She sat down on the floor on the opposite side of the coffee table. Harry was staring at the fire morosely and Ron was drinking the orange juice she had brought.

"Do either of you know what _spew_ or _spug_ is?"

She heard Ron choke and she had to avoid a spray of juice coming from his mouth. He coughed a few times before wiping his face with his shirt sleeve.

"Um..." Harry said with a strange smile on his face, the first she'd seen in a few days.

"Nope!" Ron said instantly, "Never heard of it, sounds disgusting, not worth asking around about, definitely not something you want us to be involved with."

Ron laughed stiffly.

"Hey look at the time," Ron said looking at his wrist quickly, "Harry we'd better be off, got Hagrid's class after this."

Ron was suddenly on his feet and dragging Harry out of the common room.

"Odd," she said watching them leave and hearing rather than seeing Harry laugh.

She looked back at the food and realised that they hadn't been able to each much of it. She decided to pack the food and drink up in a basket and bring it down to the boys. Since she knew Hagrid's classes were held outside she was sure Ron would enjoy having a picnic at the end of the day.

She walked down out onto the Hogwarts grounds, basket in hand.

"Their classes should be done by now," she thought to herself as she made her way down to Hagrid's hut.

She saw some students headed back up the hill but no sign of Harry or Ron anywhere. She was just about to reach Hagrid's hut when someone grabbed her by the arm and spun her around.

"You're coming with me mudblood," the Slytherin boy spat at her before dragging her back up the hill.

She dropped the basket she was carrying since he was dragging her up the hill like a rag doll. She tripped a few times but he simply pulled her up and kept walking. She was out of breath by the time they had gotten back inside but he kept walking, to where she didn't know but she saw several familiar faces watching her with alarm before whispering to each other and someone raced off. She hoped that they were going for help as she wasn't carrying her wand with her - which was incredibly stupid of her but she had gotten too used to the idea of being safe in Hogwarts with Ron and Harry around though she should have known better.

She recognised the D.A.D.A classroom as they approached and her gut twisted as she saw the line of students being pushed around by some Slytherin's. She saw a few of the students stare at her wide eyed as she passed.

"Shit!" said under his breath.

"- better hope Ron doesn't know," another said.

"Crabbe just signed his death warrant if you ask me," a Ravenclaw said as she passed.

"SHUT UP!" a girl at the front of the line said.

Hermione recognised the girl instantly, she wouldn't ever forget that face, she had been the one who had been torturing Ron. She had her wand out and she and the boy next to her were keeping an eye on the students.

Hermione bumped into someone.

"Watch it!"

Hermione turned in surprise to see Andrea and Zacharias standing next to her.

"You watch where you're going," the boy who the others had referred to as Crabbe said, he let go of Hermione momentarily and raised his hand as though to strike her.

Smith stepped between them, grabbing Crabbe's arm and stopping him from moving.

"Get your hands off me slave," Crabbe spat.

"Will you be responsible if any harm comes to my master?" Smith retorted pushing Crabbe away.

Hermione would have continued staring at Zacharias in fear and awe had not something just been shoved into her hand. She looked at Andrea but the girl was looking at Zacharias.

"Leave the brute, let's go," Andrea said before she and Smith left.

"Yeah you better run," Crabbe said before he pushed her to the front of the queue where she waited with the other students. She waited till Crabbe had walked into the classroom and waited till the other Slytherins were leading Cho Chang and her friend Marietta into the classroom before she looked down at what Andrea had shoved into her hand.

It was a piece of candy. Something you'd get from Wonko's, but it had 'WWW' on the label. She stared at it confused. Why on earth would Andrea give her candy at a time like this? She shoved the candy into her skirt pocket and hoped that her friends would be here soon. She had no idea what was going on and she doubted any of the students in line with her would dare to tell her while they were under watch.

Hermione started to panic when the students in front of her were taken inside the classroom. She didn't know what was happening to them but it was taking some time, but not enough for her to think of an escape plan and no way in hell was she going to leave without the other student in line with her.

Hermione suddenly felt her chest ache before a cold sensation gripped her body. She thought that she was just panicking but then a warm trickling sensation went down her arm. She stared at her arm and saw it twitch involuntarily.

She felt suddenly heavy on the right side of her body and she watched in horror as her right arm moved without her controlling it.

She stared wide-eyed as her hand turned and unclenched itself before dropping to her side.

**'_Hermione.'_**

Hermione let out a squeak of surprise when she heard Ron's voice in her head.

_**'Where's the candy?'** _Ron spoke to her in her mind though his voice sounded weak and faded in and out as he spoke she knew it was him.

"In -"

**_'Don't speak, just think it,"_** he said to her when she spoke aloud.

She bit her lip.

**_'In my pocket,'_** she replied.

_**'Good, eat it.'**_

**_'What? Ron why - how is this even -'_**

**_'Explain-...later-...eat-...' Ron's voice was fading and she felt an intense frustration and anger that didn't belong to her before her arm moved on its own and reached around in her pocket._**

She felt the candy in her fingers and took it out. She stared at it.

She looked up at the door and could hear the guards returning.

**_'Eat - '_** Ron's voice faded completely and then the door suddenly opened.

Hermione suddenly felt an incredible surge of anger and energy burst from within her chest before her hand shoved the piece of candy in her mouth and she felt her teeth chewing before she swallowed the candy.

Once she had swallowed the candy she felt the anger disappear and she felt Ron's presence disappear too.

She wondered to herself just as she was dragged into the room. She was led into another room and down some stairs before they reached a long corridor lined with rooms that looked more like prison cells.

She walked past one and saw Cho chang being forced to drink something. She was pulled along before she could see or do anything more. They stopped at a door at the very end of the corridor. It was painted a ridiculous shade of bright pink and there was a moving picture of a cat on the door. The Slytherin boy knocked on the door before it was opened.

Hermione instantly saw the first year hufflepuff shaking in his chair as Umbridge stood above him a wand in her hand. She looked up as Hermione was brought into the room.

"I've brought her."

"Ah, Miss Granger," Umbridge smiled at her, "Take him into room 12 would you dearie."

The first year was pushed up out the chair before being led out of the room and the door shut automatically.

'_No escape now.'_

"Take a seat my dear," Umbridge said moving behind her desk, "Tea?"

Hermione stared at Umbridge as the woman poured some steaming tea into an ornate tea cup.

"No thanks," Hermione said as politely as she could eyeing the woman's wand.

Umbridge ignored Hermione and walked around her desk and placed the cup in her hands before returning to her seat.

"I feel bad for not doing this sooner Miss Granger," Umbridge said taking a sip of her own tea, "drink."

"I'm not thirsty," Hermione replied.

Umbridge fixed her with an unblinking gaze for a long time and Hermione could hear the clock ticking loudly in the small office. Hermione knew she was not going to get out of this and there was no use being stubborn at a time like this. She knew the best course was just to play along, she might be able to learn something about Umbridge plans for the students and her friends.

She lifted the cup to her lips and saw the woman watch her closely. She took a quick sip before returning the cup to the saucer.

Umbridge smiled at her.

"Now isn't that better."

"Too sweet for my taste," the words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself and a flash of anger crossed Umbridge face before her mask of sweetness returned.

"When did we last speak dearie?" Umbridge questioned her.

Hermione thought back and was relieved that she knew the answer to this question.

"You came to see my master in the hospital," she replied without missing a beat.

"Ah yes," Umbridge said before sipping her own tea, "But you of course remember the last time we spoke in my office here?"

The smile that Umbridge reminded Hermione more like a shark rather than a sweetly grandmother which she was sure was the look Umbridge was going for. Hermione smiled in return and took another sip of her own tea and she noticed Umbridge's eyes following her hand as she drank the tea.

She placed the cup back on its saucer, though her fingers were gripping the saucer tightly she was glad that they weren't shaking, not of fear but of anger. She had suspected this when she saw Cho being forced to drink some potion just moments before, the tea was laced with some sort of potion, most likely a truth serum of some kind. She briefly wondered how long she had before she would be unable to control the words coming out of her mouth but she pushed that thought aside for now, she would cross that bridge when she had to. For now she was just buying time.

"Do you mean when you interrogated me for six hours straight after I had returned to school this year?" she said all of this without flinching though her heart was racing inside her chest.

Umbridge laughed.

"Interrogated," Umbridge repeated laughing again, "Who interrogated?"

Umbridge placed her own cup of tea down on the table and looked at Hermione carefully. A genuine smile appeared on her face now and Hermione was glad she knew how to act. If she had stuttered or avoided Umbridge's question she would have known that the truth serum wasn't working. Hermione didn't know why it wasn't working or maybe was taking longer than usual to work but she was grateful that she still had her wits about her.

Umbridge placed her clasped hands on the table.

"We simply had a tete-a-tete, not interrogation my dear," the words dripping with honey making Hermione cringe internally, "And it's been such long time, let's catch up shall we?"

Hermione bit her tongue to stop the retort that was on her lips.

"Now, what is your relationship with Ronald Weasley?"

"I am his servant, he is my master."

Umbridge watched her carefully before leaning back in her seat.

"And your relationship with Mr Potter?"

"There is no relationship, he is my master's friend, I do not speak to him unless spoken to first."

"I see," Umbridge said slowly, "And what about Mrs Weasley?"

"I do not keep in regular contact with my Master's mother."

Umbridge laughed at this.

"Oh my dear, you know that I was of course referring to the future Mrs Weasley, the current Miss Helena -"

Hermione flinched at this, she hoped Umbridge didn't catch it. She took a moment but quickly composed herself.

"As my master's future wife, I am of course also in her service."

"I see," Umbridge said as though this was all quite interesting to her, "And what may I ask do you all do when you go dissapear in the middle of the night, along with several other students from other houses."

"I don't know to what you are referring to Professor."

"As a servant, is it not your job nay your responsibility to keep a track of your masters whereabouts?"

"I am his servant," Hermione replied unable to keep the steely edge from her voice when she spoke, "Not his keeper."

Umbridge got up from her seat and walked around to look at Hermione.

"Yes but perhaps you should be," Umbridge leaned forward and grabbed Hermione's wrists before inspecting her bracelets. Hermione's heartbeat raced. Did Umbridge know that the bracelets weren't working properly? She looked up at the woman standing in front of her.

"I beg your pardon Professor, I don't know what you -"

"I would like you to keep a closer eye on your master from now on," Umbridge cut her off, dropping Hermione's wrist, "We mustn't allow him to fall from the right path, we have big plans for him."

"Do you mean," Hermione said slowly staring at Umbridge in disbelief, "You want me to spy on him?"

"Spy?" Umbridge giggled before picking up her wand from her desk and looking it over, "You make it sound so ugly, this isn't spying. We simply do not want him to be influenced by the wrong sort of people. As a teacher it is my responsibility to make sure that someone of pureblood status such as Mr Weasley, even with his family's unfortunate ties in the past to those of a lower standing, should nonetheless continue far into the future."

'_The wrong sort?' _Hermione repeated to herself in disbelief, _'Lower standing?'_

"It is unfortunate that the current Minster of Magic does not take a firmer stand on blood status," Umbridge said looking up from the wand in her hand to look at Hermione, "All these half-blood's walking around spouting nonsense and stirring up trouble - well we all know if their blood wasn't muddied by muggle ties then we would be able to achieve a much better society."

Hermione just stared at the woman in front of her in shock and disbelief. It wasn't enough that muggleborns were excluded from magical society or forced into servitude but now even half-bloods were on her list of targets.

"Are you perhaps," Hermione considered her words carefully before continuing, "referring to - Mr Harry Potter by any chance?"

Umbridge smiled widely at Hermione.

"What on earth would make you think that?"

She would lie but didn't think she could do it convincingly after everything Umbridge had just said to her and a part of her really wanted to wipe that smile of Umbridge's face.

"Because he says that Voldermort is back."

The smile faltered on Umbridge face.

"Well we all know what an attention seeking little-" Umbridge cut herself off and looked down at Hermione as though remembering that she was there.

Hermione couldn't help the smirk that rose to her face.

"So then you don't think Cedric Diggory was killed by Vold-"

"Stop saying that name," Umbridge said quickly.

"What? Cedric Diggory or perhaps you mean Volder-"

*SLAP*

Hermione felt the sting of Umbridge hand on her face causing her to drop the teacup to the floor.

"Now you listen to me you -,"

"So sorry to intrude."

They both turned to see Professor Severus Snape standing in the doorway.

"S-Severus," Umbridge said straightening herself and fixing her hair before walking back around her desk, "However may I help you?"

"The Chang girl has just vomited and collapsed in the great hall."

"Have one of the servants clean it up," Umbridge said dismissively waving her hand.

"I would but it would be difficult to explain to the Minister of Magic why a daughter of a Ministry official just threw up and fainted all over his son."

Umbridge was on her feet instantly.

"What a clumsy foolish girl," she said before marching out of the room.

Hermione stared at the woman.

Snape looked at her before he too walked off leaving the door wide open. Hermione looked around for a moment before jumping up and out of that room. She saw Snape's cloak dissapear up the stairs and she instantly turned to the first room in the corridor, she looked around desperately in hopes of finding something to defend herself against anyone behind it. She turned back around and grabbed Umbridge's silver tea tray from her table. Hermione gripped the tray in her fingers and leaned her head against the wooden door for the sound of any voices.

She couldn't.

She decided to open the door anyway. It was empty. She turned and raced across the corridor and didn't even bother listening this time before opening the door. It too was empty. She continued opening the next few doors, and a few were actually left open with no one inside. When she finally opened a door with people in side she almost turned around before realising what she had just seen.

A boy, he looked like a first year, was slumped over a desk. She reached over and shoke him, he groaned a bit but didn't wake. She put the tray down on the table and reached around his pockets to find a wand. She found one and put in her pocket before reaching under his arms and lifting him up. He was small so it wasn't that difficult but it still took quite an effort to pull him up and walk him out of the room.

"Hey wh-!"

"Protificus totalis!" Hermione hit the fourth year straight in the chest and his mouth was still snarling at her before he dropped to the floor with a loud thud.

"Hey kid," she said shaking the boy as she dragged him down the corridor, "Wake up."

He mumbled a bit but remained in unconscious.

Hermione cursed and pushed him against a wall before walking over to the frozen body of the fourth year Slytherin. She quickly cast a memory modifying charm before grabbing him under the shoulders and dragging him into an empty room. Hopefully when he woke up he would think that he just fell asleep.

She walked back across the hall and was about to find Colin Creevy when she heard footsteps ahead. Her heart lept into her throat.

"Ginny," she sighed in relief when the red head appeared in front of her.

"Come on lets get you out of here," her friend said instructing Dean and Neville to check the other rooms.

"But the other students," Hermione began to protest.

"No," Ginny grabbed her arm and dragged her towards the stairs, "Something's happened to Ron."

Hermione felt like someone had just stabbed her in the chest with a cold knife. She felt her body tense and she nodded as she followed her friend. She glanced back and saw the boys quickly dragging unconcious students from some other rooms before pouring something down their throats.

"They'll be fine," Ginny said, "We just need to wake them up and when Umbridge gets back they'll at least have their wits about them."

"Wait," Hermione caught up to her friend, "You're still going to leave them down there?"

"We can't take them with us, Umbridge will know it was our doing and we'd get them and us into even more trouble. Don't worry," Ginny turned to look at her, "She usually has the students interrogate them, except for Harry or you apparently."

"Do the other teachers know about this?" Hermione asked her friend.

"She'll just say that she's giving them detention for breaking a school rule, which would be easy enough considering how many rules she has created. Look, don't worry about it, this isn't the first time this has happened and we're pretty much used to it by now. I just feel bad for the first years - they usually don't know about the D.A. yet and she gets to them before we can."

Hermione felt her blood boil as she listened to her friend.

"I can't believe I didn't know about this," Hermione gritted her teeth in frustration, "I could have done something to help."

"You did," Ginny said before opening a door to the servants staircase, "You helped Fred and George create those anti-veritaserum candies."

"What?" Hermione said in confusion.

"The candy that Ron made you eat," Ginny explained, "the ingredients react to the veritaserum that Umbridge spikes her tea with, it delays the effect of the truth telling serum."

"I did that," she wondered aloud.

"Well Hermione did."

There was a hint of bitterness in Ginny's voice and Hermione stared at her.

"Where is Ron, what's happened to him?" she questioned, changing the subject though she had been avoiding thinking about what had happened to him because it made her begin to panic.

"He and Harry were with Hagrid in the forbidden forest doing Merlin's knows what, when we saw you dragged off by a Slytherin, we ran to the D.A. to tell them. We found them not far from the forest entrance, you should have seen Ron and Harry's faces. They both paled instantly. Ron wanted to come and get you but Harry held him back saying it would be more dangerous for you if he did...and well I don't even know how to describe it, he sort of lost it. He was kicking and slamming his fists against trees and actually did quite a bit of damage," Ginny frowned at this as though something confused her.

Ginny pushed open the door that led to the Gryffindor common room and both girls ran up the stairs to the boy's room.

"After that," Ginny said before trailing off, "After that, I don't know what the hell he did but it looked like some sort of strange magic. I've never seen anything like it before...and his face - Hermione, his eyes..."

That was all Ginny said before Hermione rushed past her and slammed the door open.

Ron was laying on the ground unconcious, Harry by his side. Lena and Ernie stepped back as soon as she entered the room. Hermione dropped to Ron side instantly.

"Ron," she said softly shaking his shoulder.

"What wrong with him?" Hermione said looking up at Harry.

"I don't know, but his arms...I've never seen -"

Harry pulled up Ron's sleeves and Hermione felt sick. There were glowing blue and gold symbols along his arms and she now saw that they went all the way up his neck.

"How could you let him do it Harry!" Hermione said desperately grabbing Ron by the shoulder and shaking him frantically.

"I don't even know what the hell he did," Harry shouted back, "And he near punched me when I tried to stop him. Thought he had lost his mind, suddenly drawing strange symbols on the forest floor before mumbling in a language I've never heard before."

"No, no, no..." Hermione chanted over and over, "You give him back to me you hear!"

She dropped her head to his chest.

"Please, not yet, please give him back to me."

"Who are you talking to Hermione?" Ginny said after a moment.

"Why would you do this?" Hermione said as angry tears fell down her face, "Why Ron, you're not allowed to get hurt because of me - not me - you have to do it for your Hermione...not for me...I'm not worth it."

"Look someone better tell me what's happening to my best friend before I lose it too," Harry cut through her thoughts.

She lifted her head and stared at Harry, then her eyes swung to Lena.

"How did you get him out of his comatose state at St Mungo's."

"Wait, you were at St Mungo's?" Harry said but Hermione ignored him.

"I didn't do anything," Lena replied and Hermione saw she was telling the truth, "I'm sorry."

"Think Lena," Ernie encouraged her, "You must have seen or heard something, how did they bring him out of that comatose state?"

Hermione saw Lena actually struggling as she looked around at each of them before turning back to Ernie.

"They gave him some pills and..." Lena looked at Hermione, "I think they talked to him about you."

"Pills?" she said turning to look at Harry, "Do you know what she's talking about?"

Harry looked at her guilty before he reached into Ron's cloak pocket and took out a small bottle of dark coloured pills. Hermione stared at them. She held her head in her hands.

"Give them to him," she instructed Harry before checking Ron's pulse and felt the weak but steady thread of a heartbeat.

"I checked him before you got here," Lena explained before Hermione could ask her.

"We just didn't know what was wrong with him or why his arms were glowing like that."

Hermione knew. She knew but this was not the time or place to explain.

Hermione rubbed the tears from her eyes.

"He'll be fine," she said to reassure herself as much as the others, "Just some rest and he should be fine."

She looked up and saw that they were looking at her in concern now and she quickly rearranged her features to what she hoped was a calm expression.

"Where's Ron's cat?" Hermione asked Harry after he and Ernie carried Ron and placed him in his bed.

"What?" Harry said in confusion, "Oh, you mean Crookshanks. Uh- I don't know."

"I think I saw him in the common room," Ginny said.

Hermione nodded glanced back at Ron before heading down to the common room and walking over to Ron's cat which was lounging in one of the armchairs.

"You need to come," Hermione said to the cat, "He's asleep but I need you to keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't do that again."

The ginger cat blinked at her before stretching lazily and jumping off the chair. She followed it back up the stairs and into the boy's room. She saw it jump up and lay itself down at the base of Ron's bed. It looked like it was sleeping but she could see the cat's tail swaying slightly and its eyes followed hers when she moved to sit down on the bed.

Lena was wiping down Ron's forehead and face with a towel that had been soaked in some herbs and water. Hermione watched her for a moment before looking down at Ron. His hand lay across his chest and she reached over and placed her hand over his before lifting it to rest their hands in her lap.

She wasn't sure when the other's left but knew Harry was the last to leave. She had felt sit down on his bed and stare at her and Ron for a long time before he too got up and walked out of the room.

"I think he feels guilty," Hermione said to Ron as she watched his chest rise and fall, "He shouldn't feel guilty though, I should."

Hermione dropped her head and looked at his hand in hers. She held his hand in hers but reached over and pulled aside his shirt and pulled out the necklace that she had suspected he had been wearing for quite a while now. The round silver object that hung from the necklace didn't look that unique, it was small enough to fit into her palm yet big enough that she was able to see the symbols in the centre of it. Her fingers traced the twisted knots on the small shield, because that's what it was. A symbolic shield which Hermione had gifted to him. She placed the necklace back inside his shirt and looked at Ron's sleeping face.

"Don't do that ever again," she chided him, "Hermione would kill me if anything happened to you."

* * *

_**Lance,**_

_**It's not easy to do what's right, but I care about him too much to be selfish.**_

_**H~**_

* * *

Hermione awoke to the feel of someone beside her. She blinked her sleepiness aside and saw Ron looking at her. She sat up and massaged her neck, she had fallen asleep sitting on his bed. It had not been comfortable but she had been more tired than she realised after the eventful day they had had.

"Hi," she said after a moment, "How you feeling?"

Ron looked around them as though trying to figure out where they were, finally he sat up on the bed. He looked down at their intwined fingers and Hermione instantly let go.

"What happened?" he said hoarsely and Hermione poured him a cup of water which he drank gratefully.

"You fainted," Hermione explained slowly before adding, "After you used Druid magic."

It was lucky he didn't drop the cup in hand and instead placed it shakily back on the table before turning back to look at her.

"You - " he searched her face as he often did before continuing, "You remember?"

"Yeah," she said before getting up, "I'll go tell Harry and Ginny you're awake, they were worried about you."

"Hermione wait," Ron said before she could walk away, she turned back to look at him.

"Don't ever do that again," Hermione said through clenched teeth, "After everything we've been through - After what Hermione did to you...we do everything together or not at all from now on."

Ron simply stared at her.

"Does this mean you remember what happened that night you lost your memory?"

"No," Hermione said sighing, "But I do know that we performed a bonding ceremony using ancient magic, Druid magic. I also know that you and Hermione shouldn't have done that, the power that invoked is old and powerful but is difficult to handle..."

"Her-"

"I should get the others," she said before walking to the door, she placed her hand on the door handle and said without looking at Ron, "I know why you two did what you did but it's not safe, this body it can't handle it and you know that you can't either."

"We should talk about this," Ron said to her and she heard him get up from the bed.

"Later," she said stopping him with the look she cast back at him, "For now you need to rest."

She stepped out of the room and closed the door and leaned against it before sliding down to the floor. All her emotions which she had been keeping bottled up while the others were around and when she was in front of Ron poured out of her. She felt her body shaking as she sobbed. With every passing day that she felt her feelings towards Ron change, she no longer had flashes of memories instead mass amounts of knowledge suddenly poured into her head, the cause of her headache she had realised after a while. She couldn't remember the details but she knew, knew in her bones, in her blood what Ron and Hermione had done on that stormy night on the beach of Shell Cottage. That they had promised eternity to each other and that bond would protect and doom them both. Maybe they didn't really know what they were doing by casting the ancient bonding spell but the result had meant that they both had suddenly received mass amounts of ancient magic that neither knew how to handle, for Hermione it had made her reckless and decide that she would test out another unknown ancient spell resulting in her loss of memory. As for Ron, he too had lost himself but in a completely different way. She needed to talk to him about what he had done and gone through during the time after Hermione had erased her own memory. She needed the details of what they had done, the spells they had used and what the hell they were thinking if at all when they invoked that ancient magic.

Hermione closed her eyes, her thoughts returning to the unconscious Ron she had seen the night before. He was still using the ancient magic, he still had a connection to it despite the fact that he was taking medication to sever ties with it as well as actively using normal magic. She suspected that he still clung to the magic as it was connected to Hermione, he couldn't help holding onto the one thing he had left of her.

But the Hermione who was sitting outside his room right now was the one who had to deal with the aftermath. She was so close to losing him. If he lost himself - if he lost to that darkness inside him, she didn't know if she could go on. She had promised herself that she wasn't going to fall in love with him, she knew her time here was finite and eventually Hermione would return. Until that time she was supposed to take care of Ron, make sure he didn't get hurt...and here she was the cause of him almost losing himself to that darkness, to that other side of him. She knew she had to become stronger now. Knew that if she was going to fulfil her promise to Hermione she would have to let go of all her emotions towards Ron.

But first things first. Hermione wiped the tears from her face and straightened herself up. She needed to take care of Ron, then they would figure out what magic Hermione had invoked to alter her memory. And finally...and finally they would figure out a way to get Hermione back into her body.

Hermione cleared her throat and wiped the tears from her eyes. She fixed her tie and apron before walking down to the common and finding Harry and Ginny.

They had work to do.

* * *

**_Lance,_**

**_I hope these letters reach you. I miss talking to you. Perhaps I never told you before but I enjoyed spending time with you and having someone simply listen to me without the weight of expectations had been a godsend._**

**_I would like to hope that I could be the same for you, and that if there is anything you ever wanted to talk about, you can trust that I would keep your confidence._**

**_Hermione._**

* * *

Hermione had been trying to avoid this.

She really, really did not want to be here, doing this. The rational side of her to go to the library and research everything she could about Druid magic but after a few days and with nothing triggering her memory Ron had given up and stormed out of the library saying he need to get outside before he went crazy.

She had agreed that they needed to take a break. Maybe something would come to her if she stepped back for a little while. She hadn't planned on having Harry barging right into them just as they entered the common room, a scowl on his face. He shoved a broomstick into Ron's hands and pushed him back out the room going on about some new plan he had to beat the Ravenclaws in the next match. Ron had groaned but followed his friend to the Quidditch pitch. She would have let the boys go but then Lena walked out asking her to come along with her.

"Milly asked me to meet him," Lena explained to her.

"On a date?" Hermione questioned her friend but her smile faltered when they saw Ernie walking up the steps with Andrea and Zacharias in tow.

"Harry and Ron are going to the Quidditch pitch, lets go watch," he said cheerfully before grabbing his girlfriends hand and leading the way outside.

"Thanks for the candy," Hermione whispered to Andrea when they had seated themselves.

Andrea looked confused for a second before looking away.

"Don't thank me," she replied and she meant it.

**'**_**Okay,'** _Hermione thought arching an eyebrow at the girl but kept her mouth shut. If it hadn't been for Andrea she wouldn't have been able to lie to Umbridge. She owed Andrea and Zacharias for that, so if it meant she would put up with their snappish behaviour so be it.

Ron swiftly turned on his broom and smiled in her direction. Not at her obviously. There were loads of people there, well technically, Lena, Ernie, his girlfriend and Zacharias Smith and a few third year girls oggling Ron and Harry - but you know, not that Hermione cared about that.

And, it definitely had nothing to do with her if Ron was looking particularly nice today, in his quidditch gear, windswept hair and all smiling at her - at Harry, definitely at Harry.

Hermione chewed on her lip ignoring that ba-bump that she heard every time Ron looked in her direction or performed some outrageous manoeuvre that couldn't be humanly possible and then dodge a bludger flying right at his head with ease.

She bit back a shriek of concern when Ginny, currently playing on the opposing team pushed Ron roughly out of the way causing Ron to slam into one of the three rings at the end of the quidditch pitch.

"Are you alright?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine," she replied to whoever had asked the question as she gripped Ron's necklace in her hands.

They had been researching the meaning of the necklace when he had walked out of the library. She was concerned that he would take unnecessary risk, he was already too dependent on the ancient magic. She had wanted to give him the necklace before he started practicing but by the tie they reached the Quidditch pitch he was already in the air and she didn't want to distract him lest she be the cause of an injury. No she definitely did not want that.

**'_This was why I didn't want to be here, I knew I'd freak out watching him like this.'_**

"He's fine," she realised that Ernie was talking to her and she dragged her eyes away from Ron to look at the person sitting beside her.

Lena was sitting above them, her long blonde hair underneath a slytherin beanie looking quite out of place in the Gryffindor section of the bleachers. She looked like she was quite cold despite the cloak she wore. Hermione had asked her why she didn't wear the Hufflepuff scarf which earned a surprise look from Ernie and a mumbled response from Lena, something to the effect that she didn't have a scarf.

Hermione dropped the matter though she did give her friend a significant look when Ernie sat down beside them with his girlfriend with a slytherin scarf wrapped around his neck. It wasn't the first time he had worn it either because his girlfriend didn't even bat an eyelash at it and Lena was looking at the quidditch practice quite bored.

"The chances of him getting hurt are -"

"He is very good," Lena said cutting Ernie off.

"You don't even like Quidditch," Ernie retorted.

"Yet you insist making me watch it with you," Lena replied pulling her cloak tighter around her, "I would have to be dimwitted to not know anything about by now."

A bark of laughter from Zacharias at that which was odd as he had avoided talking to any of them the whole afternoon.

"Would you shut up," Andrea seethed at him.

"-dimwitted," Zacharias repeated with a smirk earning a glare from Andrea.

"Well anyway," Ernie cut in, "He's fine. Ron's really improved over the last year, some of the stuff his done in the last few games has been amazing."

"He's alright," Zacharias cut in, "He would't have made the team if Harry weren't his friend though and if there weren't such a low number of students."

She heard Andrea groan at this as though this was not the first time she had heard this.

Hermione felt angry listening to him badmouth Ron. She might not know much about Quidditch but Ron clearly knew what he was doing and was doing it well.

"Well at least he's on the team," Hermione said before turning her attention back to Ron, "Unlike some other people."

She knew she touched a nerve because Andrea and Ernie looked uncomfortable and Zacharias glared at her. It was mean she knew it but he was getting on her nerves, besides Ron really was good she thought as she watched him weave the hoops and avoid the bludgers being lobbed at him.

"He always chokes during matches," Smith said finally, "you just don't know because you -"

Andrea groaned in exasperation.

"Please shut up!" she said but Hermione sure who she was directing it to because she was also glaring daggers at Hermione, "And Hari stop acting like a jealous git would you."

Hermione turned to see that Ernie was frowning and that look he was giving Ron bothered her.

"By the way, what are you doing here?" Hermione said to Zacharias Smith, he used to be on the Hufflepuff quidditch team so was he here spying for them.

"Ravenclaws don't cheat," Andrea replied as though reading Hermione's mind.

"Well I never said you did," Hermione said in response to the dark haired girl sitting next to Ernie, "But I was talking to Zacharias."

"Well don't," Andrea said in response.

Hermione frowned at the girl and gave an incredulous look at Ernie who simply shrugged.

"Pardon?" she managed when neither party wanted to elaborate.

"He's mine and I didn't give you permission to speak to him."

Hermione's mouth fell open at that.

She expected someone to say something, anything in response. But not even the person in question, Smith seemed bothered by what Andrea had just said.

"He's not a piece of meat, he's a person you -"

"Granger."

Hermione was cut off by Ron's arrival. He was floating above them, he floated down but remained on the bleaches.

"Something wrong?"

Hermione turned to look at Andrea.

"She just referred to Smith as - " she stopped talking when Ron stared at her. She realised that quite a few people were looking at her now and that the bleachers weren't as empty as they were before. She back-peddled and realised that Ron had just called her by her last name, he hadn't done that in a long time.

She groaned internally. This was supposed to be a practice run, if she didn't draw any unwanted attention to herself or Ron then she would finally get to go with him to classes. She pushed aside whatever argument she was going to throw at Andrea and shook her head at Ron.

"Hey," Ron said causing her to look up from her clenched fists on her lap, his smile easing the tension immediately, "Wanna go for a ride? Harry's given us a few minutes break."

Hermione face broke into a smile.

"No."

Hermione's head spun around so quickly she was surprised she hadn't hurt herself.

"He was asking his girlfriend not you," Andrea shot back at the girl, though she was smart enough to keep her voice low so that any spectators couldn't hear them.

"I agree with Lena," Ernie said and when Andrea said _'of course you would' _under her breath he continued, "There's too many people around, why would you take your servant for a ride on your broom in the middle of quidditch practice?"

Before either Ron or Hermione could reply an earsplitting whistle rang out and Ron gave her an apologetic look before flying off.

"Don't think they heard you back in London, Harry," Ron shouted across the pitch as he flew back to his position.

"I'm cold and too hungry for this," Andrea announced standing up from her seat, "Are you coming?"

Ernie looked up at his girlfriend.

"You go ahead, I wanna watch a bit more."

Andrea glanced at Lena though the usual anger wasn't there and she simply nodded and turned to leave, Smith on her heels.

Ernie noticed her staring as the pair left.

"He's not technically a Hufflepuff or a Ravenclaw actually," Ernie explained, "His parents - um...disappeared when the Malfoys came to power and his records were wiped."

"What does that mean?" she frowned at Ernie in confusion.

"According to official records Zacharias parents don't even exist, so neither does Zach. I don't know what they did to piss off the Malfoy's but when they disappeared I think he was supposed to disappear with them. But he didn't, he showed up in the middle of semester last year following Andrea around."

"Are his parents in hiding?" she questioned curiously.

"No idea, even those of us in the D.A. don't know," he lowered his voice to whisper the last part to her, "Nor does anyone know why the Ministry are leaving him alone now."

"She adopted him."

They both started at Lena's voice and turned to stare at her.

She was staring at the Gryffindor's practicing but she had obviously heard every word.

"What do you mean '_adopted_'?" Hermione said slowly.

"She adopts strays, Smith was a stray," Lena spoke with her usual finality that Hermione knew she wouldn't be able to get much more out of her so she looked to Ernie for explanation, perhaps he could read more into what Lena had said.

He saw her watching and shrugged at her.

"I never asked about _how_ or _why_ Smith was suddenly her servant, but I do know," Ernie said standing up from his seat, "she's not a bad person Hermione."

"Yeah you're right, I'm sorry about before I just get so angry when people talk about muggleborns that way."

"He's half-blood," Lena dropped into the conversation.

Ernie gave her a look and she nodded her head in understanding.

Hermione just sat quietly trying not to intrude on their private discussion and soon enough Ernie turned to leave, reminding Hermione to make sure Lena got inside soon. She suspected that he would have told Lena as much but that he knew she wouldn't listen to him, just for the sake of not listening to what he said.

When he had gone Hermione moved so that they were sitting beside each other.

"Why did you lie about his scarf?" Hermione wondered.

"I stole it," Lena confessed and a hint of colour graced her cheeks but it disappeared quite quickly.

"I thought he just let you borrow it," Hermione thought aloud.

"He did," Lena said glancing at Hermione before back the pitch again, "Then I gave it back."

"So, how do you have it now?" Hermione said in confusion.

"I gave it back...then went into his room and stole it back."

Hermione couldn't help laugh at that.

"Why?" she smiled affectionately at her friend.

"So he would think he just lost it."

"Oh," Hermione gave an apologetic look, "But now he knows you have it cause I accidentally said so before."

Lena shook her head at Hermione.

"He would have found out if he asked me about it. He would know I was lying."

"But...what about," Hermione bit her lip and turned to look at Lena, "I mean, he doesn't know how you feel about him, how is that possible if he can read you so well."

"He can read certain non-verbal cues I give," Lena said in a slow way she did when she was exasperated with Hermione, "He can't read my mind."

"Oh, oh right," Hermione realised before her thoughts returned to Andrea.

"Does she always talk about Smith like that?"

"Yes."

Hermione sighed and considered how to ask Lena in a way that would make her elaborate.

"How do you know about their situation?" she ventured finally.

"I can't tell you," Lena said in response.

"Why not?" Hermione said in concern, did she cross some line, she really was too curious for her own good.

"I made a deal with her," Lena explained surprising Hermione.

When Hermione continued to look expectantly at her Lena just stared back.

"Could you explain?"

"No," Lena said pulling the cloak tighter but added when Hermione continued to stare at her, "If I don't talk about Smith, she won't..."

Lena trailed off and Hermione grew concerned.

"Does...does Andrea know about your feelings for Ernie?" from the silence she got from Lena in response she knew she was correct.

"Is that what you guys were talking about the other day in the courtyard?"

This question seemed to catch Lena off-guard because she blinked at Hermione for several seconds before looking away.

"I suppose...that is part of what we discussed."

Lena paused and Hermione waited as it seemed as though the girl would continue speaking but she didn't and after a moment Hermione thought it best to speak up.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said when she felt at a loss as to how to comfort her friend, she reached over and put linked her arms with Lena, she noted that her friend had lost some weight and wondered if she had been taking care of herself now that Hermione wasn't with her to bring her food and things to snack on. She made a mental note to bring some tea up for her later that evening for them to talk some more, she had a feeling there was something Lena wanted to tell her but maybe she didn't know how or didn't feel right speaking about it out in the open. Lena shook her off and shifted away from Hermione, she remembered belatedly that Lena didn't like people touching her, people that weren't Ernie that is. But even so, Lena looked more uncomfortable in her presence than usual and she wondered if she had done something to offend her or hurt her feelings.

"Sorry," Hermione repeated not sure what else to say, "We should get back inside, the winds picking up and you might get sick."

Lena stood up to leave and Hermione moved to follow her.

"I - " Lena struggled for a moment before continuing, "I wish to be alone."

Hermione nodded her head in understanding.

"Here," she said taking the Gryffindor scarf from around her own neck and wrapping around Lena's, "Don't want to get into trouble with Ernie."

Lena looked at her for a moment before walking off.

Hermione sat back down and watched the team practicing some more drills for another half hour. When she saw Ron and the team gather on the pitch she decided it was time for her to get back inside too.

Hermione took her time walking back to school. She held the necklace in her pocket but her fingers were tracing the pattern. She couldn't clamp down on the nervousness she had felt watching Ron. She couldn't understand why, she knew he was a good flyer, had been flying on one since he was small. The image of a younger Ron playing backyard quidditch with his brothers brought a smile to her face.

But there was something about him being that high up that seemed to grip her with fear. She had always been afraid of heights, not a deathly fear but a completely rational fear of being up higher than it was natural for a normal person to be. She felt much better being on solid ground, where she could at least control where she went and what she did.

She nodded at Ernie who was sitting under a large oak tree overlooking the lake, he was with some fellow hufflepuffs as well as his girlfriend. She wondered briefly why Andrea would make a deal with Lena when she would have nothing to gain from it. She pondered what value Zacharias Smith was when she noticed a lone figure on the pier.

Lena?

She made her way over to the pier, watching as her friend disappeared inside the boathouse. Was she planning on going out onto the water?

She hurried her pace and reached the pier just as Lena was moving a small boat out onto the water with her wand.

Lena stopped when she noticed Hermione running over to her.

"I don't think its safe," Hermione said as she caught her breath.

Lena stared at her.

"Why?"

Hermione stood up properly and considered the question. The wind was picking up that was true and the water must be freezing at this time of year but something gnawed at her insides to avoid going near the water. The sun was still in the sky and would still be some time before it set yet Hermione's instincts told her to not let her friend get into that boat.

"I-I don't know, I just don't think its safe."

Lena considered her for a moment before stepping inside the boat.

"You may accompany me if you are concerned but I want to be on the water."

"But -" Hermione didn't get much chance to protest and when she saw Lena sit down in the small boat she quickly got in after her.

Hermione sat down and stared at the icy dark water warily.

"Just for a little while yeah?"

Lena tapped the side of the boat and the little wooden vessel began to drift slowly to the centre of the lake. To her horror Lena pulled out a large novel and began to read.

Hermione cringed, desperately looking at the water lapping around them. This was a bad idea.

"Can't you swim?"

Hermione looked up at Lena in shock.

"I - I can," she replied, causing her own confusion.

If she was completely rational then there was no reason to fear, this was not her first time on the water in a small boat. She had sailed a few times with her father on their summer holidays and yet - and yet...being on the water right now, despite all rational reason she was gripped with fear.

She didn't understand it.

She remembered - no - she knew that she had spent time with Ron on the water while they stayed at Shell Cottage...why then was she so fearful at this particular moment?

As though in answer to her question the boat suddenly rocked, it took both her and Lena a moment to realise that they were being attacked. Lena jumped up and before Hermione could shout for her to get down a spell hit her friend right in the chest. As though in slo-motion she watched as Lena fell backwards, her long blonde hair cascading out from underneath her Slytherin knitted hat.

Hermione grabbed hopeless for her friend as she fell but it was already too late another spell hit the side of the boat causing it to capsize causing both girls to fall into the water.

The icy water stabbed at her and Hermione cried out in pain, which was a mistake. Her eyes stung and her body ached but she knew she had to save Lena. She looked around before swimming up and taking refuge under the capsized boat. She heard shouting and a few more spells being cast before taking a deep breath and going under the water once more.

She could barely see in the dark waters but she grabbed her wand and attempted to cast a spell, forgetting that she couldn't cast any magic in the water. She gripped her wand in frustration and pocketed it once more. She swam down, her hands reaching out in hopes of finding her friend.

She screamed and inhaled some water when something gripped her hand tight.

'_Lena?'_

Suddenly a face swam in front of her.

Hermione froze.

"_Brawyn_!" the person in front of her spoke.

No. Not a person. It was a strange creature with greyish scaly skin and long wild dark green hair that reminded her of seaweed.

She knew this was what the thing in front of her was. She had read about them before in Ron's textbooks but seeing it first hand. The oddly horrifying creature that made her skin crawl shocked her. The creature stared at her through pools of yellow eyes and swished its silver fish tail about as it held its grip on her arm.

**_'So much for Ariel,'_** she though briefly before the creature pulled at her arm urgently as though it recognised her and yet she knew that she had not, nor any other students taken a dive or swim through the lake, for several reasons including the monstrous creatures that dwelled there and she was staring at one right now. She wanted to be rational but all she could think was to get as far away from this thing as quickly as possible. Hermione stared at the horrifying face in front of her. She tried to pull her hand away but the he, she assumed it was a he, she couldn't really tell, he kept repeating that word over and over.

"_Branwyn_!"

She pushed and kicked but he wouldn't release her hand. She had to get away from this person, she was going to suffocate from lack of oxygen son and what about Lena? She still didn't know where here friend was.

"Friend?"

Hermione stopped her struggle when the thing in front of her spoke english. He made a few more odd fish sounding noises combined with high pitched shrieking akin to a bird cry, before turning back to her.

"Your friend is safe Branwyn."

That was the last she heard before the world turned black.

* * *

She awoke to a burning heat in her chest.

She coughed as she struggled to breath. Someone was gripping her shoulders, helping her up. She thought for a moment she was still underwater being held captive by whatever those things were.

She blinked blearily and saw that it was Ginny who was helping her, her friend handed her a warm cup of something and though Hermione resisted, her friend insisted she drink it.

As she drank she noticed Lena in the bed opposite. She looked fine, except for a few gashes her on her neck and arms. She was watching Hermione and Hermione realised that she was concerned for her. Hermione smiled and tried to show her friend that she was fine. It seemed to convince her because Lena turned her attention to Ernie who was sitting beside the bed, his head in his hands. Hermione turned away when she saw the expression on Lena's normally blank face soften as she looked at Ernie.

A sudden noise alerted them of Andrea and Zacharias running into the room. Andrea to Hermione's shock dropped down beside Lena's bed and grabbed her hand before sobbing. Smith looked uncomfortably at Ernie before moving over to lift Andrea from the floor and saying that they should leave now that she had seen that Lena was fine. Andrea nodded but she continued to sniffle as he led her from the room. Ernie stared after his girlfriend a look of utter shock on his face. He spun around and shot a piercing look at Lena.

"What the hell was that?" he questioned Lena, his raised voice echoing around the room.

Lena simply laid her head back down on the bed and said she was tired. Ernie looked like he would grind his teeth until they were all gone but after a moment he turned and said he would ask the nurse whether she could leave. She watched Ernie turn and leave to find the nurse, she saw Lena do the same, a sad look crossing her face. The two girls met each other's eyes and Hermione wanted to get up out of the bed and comfort her friend, she didn't know what had happened but Lena looked like she needed a shoulder to cry on.

Harry stopped her by his nervous shuffling.

"What happened?" she questioned Harry who had just stepped into the room from the nurses office.

"You were attacked," Harry said a pensive look on his face.

Ginny got up from the bed when Harry sat down and walked into the nurses office.

"I know," Hermione frustrated at how helpless she had felt, "Do we know who?"

Harry shook his head and she could tell that just the thought of it was making the wizard angry.

Then she remembered the creatures in the water.

"Who saved me?"

Harry's head shot up at that. He frowned at her and his face searched hers before he said slowly,

"No one, you swam out of the water yourself," he continued to watch her carefully and it unnerved her.

She didn't remember doing that. She didn't remember anything other than those strange things she had seen in the water.

"And Lena?"

At this Harry's face eased, he nodded in the direction of Lena.

"We were coming back from practice, when we saw your boat capsize. Ernie was already running to the pier and we weren't far behind. By the time we reached the water he had already jumped in. Not long after he was dragging Lena up out of the water..." he paused and he shifted in his chair uncomfortably before continuing, "We were going to go in for you but the next thing we knew...you came out of the water."

Hermione stared at him in confusion.

"I don't remember any of that."

Harry opened his mouth as though to respond but suddenly Ernie interrupted them.

"Harry could I have a moment."

Harry got up and the two boys walked a few meters away to talk in hushed voices. She turned her attention to Lena. Lena was staring at her strangely.

"What is it?" she questioned her friend but the girl just laid back down on the bed and pretended to sleep.

**'_Weird.'_**

She saw Harry walking back towards her, Ernie was heading over to Lena and lifting her out of the bed.

"I'm not really asleep," she heard Lena say.

"I know," Ernie said in response before he carried her out of the hospital.

"Harry," she said to as he sat back down beside her, "Where's Ron?"

Harry jaw clenched and he stood up from the seat.

"Give me a minute," he said before walking back into the nurses office.

He came back after a few minutes with Ginny.

"Ron's next door, he wants to see you."

Hermione instantly pushed the bed covers aside at the look on Harry's face.

"Is he alright?" she said in concern jumping off the bed, barefoot and all and ran to the other room.

She heard Harry and Ginny behind her.

She entered the darkened room. Ron was laying unconscious on the floor.

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise and she ran over to him.

Before she could reach him however she ran straight into something and fell flat on her back.

She stared at her surroundings in confusion before shielding her eyes as someone turned the lights on in the room.

When she dropped her hand to her side again she was surprised to see Ron standing in front of her, his face furious and his anger was directed at her.

"What's going on?" she said slowly when she turned to see both Harry and Ginny pointing their wands at her.

She didn't like the way that her friends were looking at her, like she was - something to be feared. Ron knelt down so that he was face to face with her but he still kept his distance and his wand was pointed at her as well. She moved so that she was knelling on the floor and then she saw that she was inside a circle formed by a white substance, salt it looked like and inside the circle, there were symbols drawn with what looked like blood. She looked up saw Ron's hands were bloody. Her first instinct was to reach out and see if he was hurt but her fingers hit into some kind of forcefield. She pressed her fingers around the barrier, it felt like glass but was completely invisible and definitely not there a moment before.

"Guys," she said slowly looking at them each in turn, "what's going on?"

Harry and Ginny didn't look at her, they were staring at Ron though their wands stayed trained on her. She turned almost jumped back at the angry face staring back at her. She had never seen him look like that, he looked furious like he wanted to rip her head off and eat it. His teeth were barred and she could have sworn she heard him snarl at her.

"Who-" Ron said moving as close to the forcefield without breaching it.

"Who - the - hell - are - you?" Ron said through clenched teeth.

* * *

_**Lance,**_

_**Just when I think I have a handle on life, life just laughs back at me.**_

_**Hermione.**_


	31. You Make Me Think

A/N: A LOT happens in this chapter! VERY IMPORTANT! I don't want you all to be confused, so here's a quick guide/reminder -

_**Bold Italics** _= memories

_Italics_ = someone explaining something that happened in the past

Of course you could just read and ignore these rules and you could probably understand it but since some of you had trouble in the past with my writing style, I don't want any of you to get confused.

I hope you enjoy it. It was a difficult chapter to write but worth it! :D

* * *

**Chapter 27 - You Make Me Think...**

"_**Okay," Hermione said looking across from her position on the sofa to Ron on the floor, he was sitting legs outstretched in front of him as he flipped through a muggle magazine about cars, he looked up when she spoke.**_

_**He quirked an eyebrow at her and she sat up fully on the chair, steeling herself for this.**_

"_**I'm going to tell you what's been on my mind."**_

_**She wasn't surprised by the half bored expression on Ron's face but he quickly readjusted his expression when she glared at him. He had been pestering her the last few days about the secret research she had refused to tell him about, after a while he gave up even the pretense of being interested and preoccupied himself with doing as many muggle things as possible. She had the feeling that he was trying to jam as much into their last few weeks here before he went back to his magical home at The Burrow.**_

"_**Sure you are," he said turning back to his magazine and flicking the page over for dramatic effect, "Just like all the other forty times you've said that and ended up just gaping at me like a fish out of water."**_

_**Hermione shot him an annoyed look.**_

"_**Incorrigible git," she shot at him but there wasn't really any venom behind it as that had practically become his nickname of late. Ever since she had been feeling well enough to walk about on her own without his assistance they had slipped back to their pre-accident behaviour quite easily. It was nice - well the bickering wasn't always nice but then again she always felt an adrenaline rush from sparring with him. And that's what it was, a sparring session, of wills and wits or sometimes just a staring contest, but still it was just their way.**_

_**Ron's mouth twitched slightly at the name.**_

"_**Insufferable know-it-all," he shot back not looking up from his magazine.**_

_**There was a moments silence and then he looked up at her and they both burst out laughing. After a moment in which Hermione had slid off the sofa onto the carpeted floor beside Ron, she caught her breath and saw Ron watching her with a brilliant smile on his face. She knew that look.**_

"_**No," she said in a warning tone holding her hand out to keep him from moving closer, "Seriously Ron...I am being serious now."**_

"_**Uh-huh, serious, very very serious," he said pushing the magazine off to one side before shifting closer to her, he reached out and grabbed her hand, she let out a startled cry when he used her outstretched hand to pull her over to him so that she was now sitting between his legs.**_

"_**Ron!" she hissed hitting him with her one free hand.**_

"_**I love it when you're serious," he whispered as he leaned towards her.**_

_**She watched his approach, her eyes flicked to his lips before back up to his eyes and then down again. She swallowed.**_

"_**Ron," she attempted to sound authoritative but when his name came out of her mouth it sounded as though she were out of breath, "I...really..."**_

_**Ron titled his head to one side and she found herself mirroring his movements.**_

"_**Really..."**_

"_**Serious," he said against her lips, "I know Hermione. Did I ever tell you that I have a thing for bookish know-it-alls?"**_

_**She smiled into his lips as he pressed his mouth softly to hers. She hummed appreciatively. **_

_**Some time later as she lay on the floor, their feet resting on the sofa and hands clasped between them staring up at the ceiling, Hermione finally remembered what she had wanted to talk to Ron about.**_

_**Ron sat up and stretched, he smiled down at her.**_

"_**Want a cuppa'?" he questioned to which she just nodded silently.**_

_**She used her elbows to push herself off the floor enough so that she could watch him walk across the living area and into the kitchen. She watched him pick up the kettle from the stove and walk over to the sink to pour water inside. He turned the stove on and placed the kettle on the flames before turning and walking over to grab two cups for them and placing it down on a tray. He turned and opened a cupboard, he pulled out two small boxed and examined them each in turn.**_

"_**What do you feel like, Ginger or peppermint?" he looked up at her then holding both boxes up for her to see, he had learnt very early on that these were her favourite kinds of tea, and since then hadn't bothered buying any others. **_

"_**Peppermint," she answered wondering when she would tell him that the only reason she drank that particular tea was because it reminded her of him. He always had that fresh minty breath when he came in to wake her up each morning. He would kiss her head and ask her if she slept well before walking over to open the curtains. He had done this before she could even speak properly, had done it, she had suspected to have someone to talk to, help them both feel as though nothing had changed. But it had. So much had changed and these last few months she'd spent with him, and the months he'd spent taking care of her while she was falling in and out of consciousness revealed to her what she had known ever since she had set her eyes on him that fateful day at Platform nine and three-quarters.**_

_**The person who was standing in the muggle kitchen, doing something completely domestic as making tea for his...**_

_**Hermione swallowed and sat up completely when Ron came back to the living area. He handed her a cup and she thanked him and took a sip. Perfect.**_

_**He sat down beside her, blew on his own cup to cool down the tea before flicking on the television. After a while though his eyes flicked over to her.**_

"_**What?" he said when he felt her eyes on him. He took another sip of his tea and turned his attention back to the sitcom currently on the television.**_

"_**Marry me."**_

"_**Fuck!" Ron said in response. It wasn't what she was expecting. **_

_**She had obviously shocked him. She knew she would which was why she had been gaping at him like a fish as he had so eloquently put it for the last few days. She hadn't really planned to say it like that though, in her head she had it all mapped out It was supposed be after they had performed a bonding ceremony on the beach, candles were supposed to be floating around them and the stars was supposed to be flickering above them.**_

_**They were not, supposed to be sitting on the carpet in the living room, a poorly acted sitcom blasting in the corner, and both still wearing their pj's as they hadn't bothered to change out of them since the morning. And Ron was not supposed to spill his tea all over the floor as the shock of her words made him drop his cup onto the coffee table.**_

_**She stared as the hot liquid dripped down the table and onto the carpet, she momentarily thought how the carpet would forever smell like peppermint and how easy it would be to clean up if they were able to use magic.**_

"_**I'll get a tea towel," she said moving to stand up but Ron's fingers were instantly around her wrist.**_

_**He had been staring at her in shock this entire time and she assumed that he would need to get more time to process what she had said. She allowed him to pull her back down so that they now sat staring at each other.**_

"_**You - did - not - just - say...that!"**_

_**Hermione chewed the inside of her cheek.**_

"_**You don't want to marry me then?**_

_**Ron's eyes bulged at her then before they narrowed suspiciously.**_

"_**That's a trick," he said eyes still narrowed at her, "I've seen enough muggle movies to know that that's a trick, when women ask questions like - that - "**_

_**He threw his arms up into the air and then raked his fingers through his already messy hair.**_

_**She watched him carefully. She saw the disbelief and shock on his face. **_

"_**Sorry, it wasn't supposed to be like this," she explained staring at her fingers as they tugged at the sleeve of her flannel pajama's, "but then you..."**_

_**She stopped and looked back up at him and he was staring at her like she was insane and maybe she was.**_

_**She opened her mouth to continue but stopped and closed it again.**_

_**After a moment she tried again.**_

"_**We're leaving in a few weeks time," she began, unable to keep the hint of sadness from her voice, "Once we leave here, it's going to be as though this place had never existed. As though our relationship hasn't changed in the year we've spent together."**_

_**Hermione reached over and intwined her fingers with Ron.**_

"_**I really don't understand," Ron mumbled before adding, "Completely mental..."**_

"_**I love you," she whispered at him and his face turned red in response, it wasn't the first time she had said it but they still hadn't gotten over the newness of the words.**_

"_**I love you Ronald Weasley, and I want you to know that that's not going to change even if we're back at Hogwarts. Even if we're back to fighting by Harry's side, my feelings won't change."**_

_**She bit her lip before lowering her eyes slightly embarrassed as she finally admitted to him what she had known for a long time,**_

"_**I think I've loved you ever since that day on the Hogwarts express and once I set my mind on something, I always get it." **_

"_**Hermione," Ron said shakily, "I cannot believe that I am the voice of reason here but...we're barely fifteen. And I watched a lot of daytime television those first few months we were here...fifteen and marriage rarely ever ends well."**_

_**Hermione couldn't help giggling at that.**_

"_**I know," she said a smile still on her lips, "I don't mean we should get married today but there is something I want to do with you."**_

_**By the bright red hue suddenly creeping up Ron's neck to his cheeks, Hermione realised how her words might have sounded.**_

"_**Not that!" she said quickly, "A-although the snogging is nice."**_

"_**Very nice," Ron amended for her and she smiled shyly up at him.**_

"_**But...there's this ancient ritual they used to do in the olden days, it was like an ancient marriage ceremony. It sort of just means that your souls are forever joined in this life and the next..."**_

"_**Bonding ceremony?" Ron repeated a confused expression on his face.**_

"_**Don't worry," Hermione said waving off the concerned look on his face, "It doesn't involve magic, its just some old custom I came across the other day."**_

"_**No magic?" Ron questioned her.**_

"_**No magic," she smiled back at him.**_

* * *

"Who - the - hell - are - you?" Ron said through clenched teeth.

Hermione looked at Ron in dismay.

"What are you talking about?" she said wishing desperately that she was hallucinating right now because her friends were not pointing their wands at her right now. They couldn't be, these were the people she had come to trust and love more than anyone else in the world outside her family, no they were her family, as good as. Harry as good as her brother, Ginny a sister and Ron...well Ron...he was the one. The one who could make her heart beat faster and made her wish that she was the person he wanted, that he loved her.

She looked into Ron's eyes, the still coldness that she saw within those blue depths made her chest ache.

"I'm Hermione," she said slowly, recollecting herself.

She was Hermione. Maybe not his Hermione but she had promised herself around the same time she admitted to herself that she was falling helplessly in love with this stupid red head who was pointing a wand at her, that she wasn't going to pretend to be anything other who she was.

She started when Ron growled at her.

She saw Harry and Ginny out of the corner of her eye exchanging fearful glances before they both took a few steps back.

She turned her attention back to Ron and she shivered as he moved closer to her but did not breach the barrier that was separating them. His feet were firmly placed on the other side of the strange markings on the ground. She could almost read them but there was something - she shook her head and looked back up at Ron when he spoke.

"You-are-not-Hermione," Ron said through clenched teeth, "You are an old one."

Hermione blinked blankly at him.

"I..." she started but ended up staring at him in confusion, "I'm a what?"

"Ron," Ginny said softly from the sidelines but Ron shot a silencing glare at her and Harry's arm shot out in front of Ginny as though to shield her from something, from Hermione or perhaps...

Hermione stared at Ron. His eyes were starting to...

Hermione blinked and rubbed her eyes. Was that a trick of the light? She knew Ron's eyes sometimes changed colour from a clear blue to a darker blue-green depending on the light but this...this was different.

His eyes were starting to darken, almost like a clear blue sky being consumed by storm clouds. They looked like this only once before. That time she had accused him of dating Lavender and said all those things she had regretted. She had never seen him so angry, or so frightening. She had actually been afraid of Ron when he had stood over her, dark eyes and intensive gaze. She had not wanted to admit it but she had feared that he might actually hurt her, she had never felt that way before. It was so incompatible to the person she knew Ron was. He was impulsive, could be immature at times but above all he loved her, at least he loved the girl who had been in this body before she had awoken inside of it. That Ron would never hurt her, but this Ron she didn't know what he was capable of.

"If it's anything like my deal," Ron continued as Hermione watched his expression darken, "you had to exchange something with Hermione right? What did you exchange?"

Hermione watched Ron's face carefully. She saw the nervous expression on Harry and Ginny's faces but for some reason they were not interceding, they were standing on the sidelines, wands still pointed at her but eyes focused on Ron as though prepared to switch sides at any moment and take Ron down rather than her.

"HEY!"

Hermione jumped when Ron's voice boomed at her. She felt goosebumps on her arms and she leaned away from Ron.

"Look. At. Me."

His voice was quiet now but it was just as fierce.

"Answer. Me."

Hermione swallowed. She had to admit at first she was half expecting someone to crack and shout 'Gotcha' but that when that didn't happen she really didn't know what to think.

Ron growled at her once more. Growled, like an animal - it was strange hearing that sound coming from Ron's mouth. His lips were curled in a a fierce snarl and that low growl rolled from his lips intoxicating her and frightening her at the same time.

"What are you talking about?" she said finally when no one looked like they were going to explain why she was currently trapped in a strange forcefield and the person she trusted the most in the world was looking at her like he wanted to strangle her.

"He used my body to hunt," Ron spoke once more, still making absolute no sense to Hermione but she listened carefully to what he said, "to connect with the animals of the forest. During those times he took over my body, I was pushed aside, squeezed into a box in the back of his mind. You must be doing the same to Hermione."

Hermione moved moved her fingers slightly to check for her wand but realised it wasn't in her skirt pocket. They must have removed it while she was unconscious.

Ron noticed the movement, his eyes flicked down to her fingers then back to her face.

"We both know you don't need that piece of wood," he stood back up and held his own wand between his fingers before throwing it carelessly across the room. She saw it hit the wall before it clattered to the floor.

He loved that wand, it was the one his mother had bought him after he broke the one he had in second year. How could he just toss it aside so carelessly as though it was just...

Wait. Did he just refer to his wand, a wizards most powerful tool and weapon as a piece of wood? Something was definitely wrong here, scratch that, many things were wrong with this scenario. She decided against speaking just yet, something in the tone of Ron's voice, the way Harry and Ginny looked almost fearfully at Ron and the weird symbols encircling her that niggled at the edges of her mind. Oh boy, whatever was happening her she was definitely not going to like it.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and stood up from the floor.

"Ron," she said hearing her voice shake but she charged on, "I have no idea what you are talking about, now please kindly explain to me why the hell I am trapped in a weird magic spell?"

She turned from Ron to the others. Harry began to look uncertain and Ginny frowned.

"Um, Ron, mate, look maybe it's not what you think," Harry began cautiously, "I-I trust her."

She felt a spark of affection for Harry. He had been just as suspicious of her at the beginning of the year but over the course of the last few months he had proven why so many looked to him for leadership. He was a good friend, loyal as long as you proved you were worth being loyal to, and apparently she had proved herself to him.

She saw Ginny biting her lip and grab Harry's arm as though to stop him talking when Ron turned his full attention to the dark-haired boy.

"Stupid human," Ron - no, Hermione stepped back from the person standing in front of her now, he was definitely not Ron. A strange smirk crossed this...this dark Ron's face when he looked at Harry.

"Ron?" Ginny said ignoring Harry's whispered plea's and moving towards her brother, "Where's your medicine Ron?"

Another growl from Ron.

"Ronald Weasley!"

Hermione's eyes bulged at the sight before her.

Hermione Granger.

The Hermione Granger was standing, arms on hips, dressed in her Hogwarts uniform sans apron, and glaring at Ron.

Neither Harry nor Ginny appeared to notice the ghostly figure in front of them, though - oh.

Ron titled his head to the side and looked at the furious Hermione beside him.

Ron's jaw clenched before it contorted in a strange expression of mixed delight and hatred then anger. He leaned his head back and a scream of guttural anger escaped Ron's mouth before the room fell silent.

Everyone in the room was frozen. No one dared move or breath except ghost-Hermione that is who simply folded her arms at looked over at Ron unimpressed.

Ron stood up properly and held his head in his hands for a moment before raising it to look at them each in turn before looking over at ghost-Hermione.

"Hello love."

Ron's face was now completely different. All the darkness had drained away with that scream, and he was looking at Hermione with the same love and affection that he looked at her in her dreams.

Ghost-Hermione placed a finger to her lips.

"Shhh," she said nodding her head to Harry and Ginny, "the others."

Ron turned from ghost-Hermione and smiled.

"I know."

"Uh...well..." Harry stumbled on what to say and ended up looking at Ginny helplessly while scratching the back of his head absent-mindedly.

"Now, where was I?" Ron said saving Harry from having to deal with what had just happened.

'What the hell?' she mouthed at Harry and Ginny but they both avoided her eyes.

"Hey," Ghost-Hermione said moving over to stand closer to Ron, she reached forward and patted his chest pocket, "Pills, now."

Ron reached up and took out the small vial before looking at the contents.

"Excuse me a moment," Ron said before walking out of the room as though he hand't just done a 360 on them all.

Ghost Hermione didn't follow him but neither did she look at Hermione.

She wanted to ask the other girl, what was happening, but given the fact that she was already being treated like a dangerous stranger by her friends, she didn't want them to think she was a loon by talking to an invisible person. Invisible to everyone except Ron and herself that is.

She turned away from the ghost-Hermione and slowly paced around the circular barrier, every now and then glancing over at the ghostly figure.

She heard Harry and Ginny whispering frantically in the corner, Ginny looked furious and Harry was trying to calm her down.

"Anytime you want to explain why I'm trapped in this strange circle would be fine with me, not like I was just attacked and almost drowned in the lake or anything."

The couple froze mid-argument and turned to look at her as though just remembering she was still there.

Harry looked at her uncertainly.

"Thing is Hermione -"

Ginny grabbed his arm and pulled him back and stopping him from talking to her.

"You know what Ron said," Ginny whispered.

"But...it's Hermione."

Ginny glanced over at her before looking back at Harry.

"Is it?"

Hermione shook her head and slumped down to the floor. This was going nowhere.

She looked over at Ghost-Hermione instead. Oh the hell with it she thought.

"You wanna explain then?" she asked the doppelganger.

Ghost-Hermione turned to face her.

But then Ron returned and all eyes returned to him.

He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.

"Sorry 'bout that," he explained, "sorta lost my cool a bit there."

It sounded true of course but she enough about Ron to know that he was putting on a brave face. For Harry a brave face would be one of determination and concentration, for Ron it was one of humor and forced calm, as though it was his job to keep everyone's spirits up by not adding to the gloom that was often Harry Potter. Right now though, the only one who seemed to be casting a dark cloud over the group was Ron.

Ghost-Hermione watched Ron for a moment and he walked up to her, the ghost-Hermione flickered before disappearing completely and turned his attention to the other Hermione in the room.

"Now," he said taking a deep breath, "Let's start again shall we?"

Hermione stared up at him.

"Tell me, who are you?"

Hermione sighed and blew a stray hair out of her face.

"Why don't you tell me who I am," she said in response folding her arms.

She saw Ron's eye twitch for a second before his expression returned to normal.

"You know who you are then?"

Hermione honestly had no idea what he was talking about, but he seemed determined to accuse her of something so maybe is she let him keep talking then he would provide the answers for her. She sat back and looked at him.

He seemed to know what she was thinking however, she wondered briefly if he knew from all his fights with Hermione that she was goading him on right now. She resisted the urge to say anything in response and waited for the infuriating red-head in front of her to explain why she was trapped in a strange magical circle right now.

"Ron," Harry finally spoke cutting through the silence.

They both turned to look at Harry as he walked over from the side of the room towards them both.

"Could we talk outside for a moment?"

Ron looked at his friend before looking away and focusing his attention Hermione once more.

"I know what you're going to say Harry, and I've told you, I know that this isn't Hermione."

"Are you absolutely sure?" Harry persisted reluctant to talk about this in front of her obviously but Ron was giving him no choice, "She may not have her memories but the way she acts sometimes -"

"No," Ron cut his friend off abruptly, "I know she's not Hermione."

Ron turned his full attention back onto her and her back stiffened at the accusatory glare he was giving her.

"I'm Hermione," she said defiantly appealing to Harry and Ginny since they were the ones who looked like they were as unsure about what was going on as she was, "I don't have her memories but I - am - Hermione."

"Shut up!" Ron spat at her, "Shut up, don't you dare even say her name! You're just a disgusting parasite sucking the life out of her. Using her body for your own selfish desires."

He pushed Harry out of the way and stepped towards her though he stilled when he realised he was about to breach the barrier and took a step back as though he were afraid of touching it - or her, she wasn't sure. Either way he stood to his full height glaring down at her as though she were the most disgusting object he had seen in his life. She wasn't going to lie, that hurt. No actually, it cut her deep, cut her so deep she was sure her insides would bleed if she kept looking back at him, but she refused to look away, refused to allow him to think - whatever the hell he thought about her. She was never going to allow anyone to look down on her, she wasn't a bloody servant damn it, she was a person and damn Ron for making her feel worthless.

He gritted his teeth and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"You. Give. Her. Back!" Ron said through clenched teeth, his eyes sending daggers through, she flinched but didn't look away.

"I don't know what the hell you are talking about!" she shouted back, "Look," she took a deep breath and turned to look at the others, "I remember being attacked, Lena and I fell into the water, this weird mermaid thing grabbed me and then -"

"Mermaid?" Harry said curiously looking at her.

She nodded her head glad to have someone listen to her not like Ron who was being a complete arse at the moment.

"Yes," she said quickly, "It grabbed my arm and wouldn't let me go, then I must have blacked out cause next thing I know, I'm here in the hospital."

Ron scoffed and she shot an angry look at him before looking back at Harry and Ginny who had been slowly approaching her as she told her story.

Harry looked at her before rubbing the back of his neck and looking at Ginny. He cleared his throat before speaking.

"Thing is Hermione, that's not what happened."

Hermione's face fell.

"What?" she looked from Harry to Ginny in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"You really don't remember?" Ginny questioned looking concerned now.

Hermione shook her head. She didn't like the looks passing between Harry, Ron and Ginny now. Ron was still looking at her suspiciously but there was a flicker of doubt in Ginny's eyes as though she desperately wanted to believe Hermione but couldn't.

She looked back at her friend.

"Tell me."

"Could I have a minute?" Ginny asked her brother.

"No," he replied stubbornly and Harry had crossed his arm also.

"Not a chance," the dark haired boy added.

"Well fine," Ginny said before her face softened, "Then Ron, I'm sorry."

Her brother just looked at her in confusion.

Ginny stepped forward and took a deep breath.

"This is what happened."

* * *

_"Is everything settled between you and Hermione then?" Ginny questioned her brother as she packed up her quidditch gear into her backpack._

_Ron was sitting on the bench in front of the lockers, he looked up when she spoke gave her a quick look before looked back down at his hand and undid the straps of his arm-guards. He took a long thoughtful breath before pulling off the Quidditch gear and tossing it into his locker next to hers._

_"Hermione and I will never really be anything..." he trailed off and fingered the bandages around his hands. She knew how uncomfortable it made him, how conscious he was of the scars on his body. He avoided changing in front of the others and always waited till only she and Harry remained before he excused himself to go to the locker bathrooms. _

_Ginny sighed and sat down next to her brother, without a word she pulled his hands over to her lap and careful unwrapped his hands of their sweaty, dirty and now bloody bandages._

_"It's alright," Ron mumbled trying to pull his hands away from her but she gave him a glare and he stilled his movements._

_ "Thanks," he mumbled_

_"Never did tell me how you got these scars," Ginny said lowering her voice when she heard the door to one of the bathroom stalls closing before Harry's footsteps could be heard padding their way back into the locker room._

_She saw Ron's face become guarded for a moment, she didn't know if he did that because he wanted to protect her or himself. She tried not to push him, the healers had told their family not to push him into retelling his story. They all wanted to know what he had done, where he had been those long summer months away from them all. He rarely spoke of the experience except odd little interjections when someone spoke of the resistance movement as though he had seen battle first hand. It chilled her at time when she saw an almost glint of glee in his eyes when horrific stories of people being killed were published in the muggle newspapers Harry had sent them. It didn't make sense, why on earth would her kindhearted and generally idiotic brother express pleasure in the suffering of others. _

_She had brought the topic up with someone she thought she would never ever talk to, and that was with Helena, or Lena as she was now referred to by most of the members of the D.A. _

_**She remembered back to the first time she had met Helena. She had been shocked that first time she visited her brother and found Lena sitting by his bed. She just sat there. Ginny couldn't really understand it but she thought that maybe Lena was just there to observe Ron. It angered her at first, her brother wasn't an experiment though many of the healers at St. Mungo's seemed to think he was, trying this and that and strange new experimental procedures on him. Most of them gave up of course usually within in the week. He was given up as a lost cause. There was nothing physically wrong with him and his mental functions were fine. There were moments when he came out his comatose state but he didn't really speak and the more people that happened to be in the room, the more downcast and drained he appeared. The family agreed that they would take turns visiting him, just so he wouldn't be overwhelmed. It was hardest on their mother of course. Her father tried to be brave and keep everyone spirits up, determined that his son would come back fine. Ginny didn't know what to think, she did however know that whenever her brother recovered she was going to kick his arse so hard he would be back in St. Mungo's again. **_

_**That vindictive thought always died on her lips when she stepped into the cold, dark room that they kept him in at the hospital. She wanted to push open the curtains and wash the room in bright colours and posters of Quidditch teams but it seemed to be worse for Ron when he was surrounded by colours. She didn't understand it and neither could the healers. It had in fact been Lena who offered an explanation. Out of the blue one day when a nurse had accidentally brought in a bright yellow cup filled with orange juice, Ron completely lost it and threw the cup across the room, smashing the yellow glass cup to pieces before be began throwing chairs across the room and breaking the window by throwing the bedside table through it. **_

_**They were all rushed out as nurses and Healers tried to calm him down, they ended up having to petrify him. A thought which would have horrified her before but when she had seen how he had ended up hurting himself, she knew there was little they could do other then to strap him down and try to get him to calm down.**_

_**Ginny had stood shocked staring at the closed doors and cursing the name 'Hermione Granger' when Lena spoke up.**_

_**"His world is bathed in black, he cannot accept anything else."**_

_**Ginny turned to the girl dressed in a healer's uniform, she had a badge pinned on her chest that read 'volunteer' on it. Ginny just stared at her. Her blonde messy hair pulled up into a bun, thick glasses and a clipboard in her hand. **_

_**"What?" she said after a moment.**_

_**"He seems different," Lena replied.**_

_**"No shit," Ginny spat back deciding to ignore the girl.**_

_**Silence descended on the pair, a few nurses passed them in the hallway but they averted their gaze when the realised whose door they were standing in front of.**_

_**"It's not Weasley."**_

_**Ginny turned just in time to see Lena walk off down the hall. She stared at the girl in confusion and anger before turning back to the door.**_

_**"What the hell does that even mean?"**_

_**It was some months later when she was trying to figure out why and how the D.A. would accept Lena as a member when the girl asked to speak to her. She had given Hermione an apologetic look but agreed. When the door closed she found Lena standing by her desk. Lena's wand instantly rose and pointed directly at Ginny. Ginny frowned and reached for her own wand.**_

_**"Move please," Lena replied and Ginny cautiously moved aside and watched Lena place an impenetrable charm on the room. **_

_**The blonde girl then turned and riffled through some papers in her desk drawer before pulling out a file. She handed it to Ginny. Ginny looked at her suspiciously but took the file.**_

_**"And what is this?"**_

_**"I told you, that it wasn't Weasley you saw at St. Mungo's that day."**_

_**Ginny stared at the girl for a long time before looking down at the file in her hands, she flipped it open and saw the pages of notes written in Lena's hand. **_

_**"I can't make heads or tails of this," she admitted.**_

_**Lena motioned for them to sit on the bed and Ginny followed.**_

_**"I have an hypothesis," Lena said after a moments pause, "I daren't speak it aloud before because...because it is far too terrifying a concept to accept."**_

_**"What is it?" Ginny questioned, her voice shaking.**_

_**"Have you ever heard of multiple personality disorder?" Lena asked in reply.**_

_**Ginny shook her head.**_

_**"It s a muggle terminology, I've been reading up on them for a paper I'm doing in Muggle Studies."**_

_**First of all, it shocked Ginny to learn that Lena, a Slytherin was taking muggle studies, as well as the fact that - no one really took the subject these days, not since the Malfoy's came into power but there you go, you learn something new everyday.**_

_**"Go on," she encouraged the girl but she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to hear this."**_

_**"I'm not entirely familiar with the subject myself," Lena continued, "From what I understand, when a person cannot brain cannot process a traumatic event, the result is that they are - "**_

* * *

Ron groaned and all eyes turned to him, the noise cut Ginny off as she was retelling her story.

"That is not what bloody happened," Ron said indignantly.

"Shut it," Ginny shot back, "This is my story and I'll tell it how I like."

Ron simply threw up his arms in exasperation and moved to sit on the nearby desk. Hermione glanced his way before returning her attention to Ginny.

"How about we skip the part about Ron's...umm stay at St Mungo's and get onto what happened at the lake," Harry advised.

"Right," Ginny nodded, "Sorry its just..."

Ginny looked over at her brother for a moment.

"Everything's connected isn't it?"

Ron didn't reply just looked away from his sister.

"Fine," Ginny took a calming breath before continuing her story, "Right, so where was I? Oh yes, after reassuring me that everything was fine, Ron and I made our way back to school from the Quidditch Pitch."

* * *

_Ginny lifted her backpack over her shoulder and cast a glance over at Ron._

"_How about something to eat?" she questioned earning a smile from her brother, it wasn't a full smile, just a fond brotherly smile he used to give her._

_She liked that smile. It made her feel like they were both just kids again...no, they still were but the weight of...well everything had just been pushed onto them too soon and now they were stuck handling an adult situation while pretending to live like kids._

_***BANG! BANG! BANG!***_

"_The hell was that?" they both said in unison. _

_They shared one look before they both dropped their bags and sprinted towards the sound. They were still quite some distance from the commotion but the sound had definitely come from the direction of the lake so that's where they both headed. As they made their way up and over a hill, they both panted and stood as they saw a crowd of students, most of them from the D.A. make their way towards the lake._

_***CRACK!***_

_Ginny's eyes snapped towards the boathouse where the source of the sound had come. _

_She saw sparks fly towards - Oh Merlin._

_She looked over at Ron. _

_He had paled visibly and stumbled back a bit as though he might faint. And it was no wonder, Hermione was sitting with Lena in a small wooden boat in the middle of the half frozen school lake. Like that wasn't bad enough, they were also under attack by an unknown assailant._

'_That girl just attracts trouble,' Ginny cursed under her breath and grabbed Ron's arm._

_He looked down at her before gritting his teeth and they both ran towards the lake. _

_They were halfway down the hill when they both saw Lena being hit in the chest with a spell and hit the water, Hermione following soon after her as the boat capsized._

_She heard Ron curse a thousand curse words under his breath, some she had never heard before as they ran the rest of the way down to the lake._

"_Not again, not again, not again..." Ginny heard her brother repeat over and over as they ran._

_She ignored the pain his words caused her and just tried her best to keep up to his made pace. His legs were much longer than hers and he was already outpacing her. They had just reached the pebbly shore of the lake when a sudden tower of water erupted from the lake. They both stopped short and stared at the icy tower of water, it sprayed down cold water down on them and as the mist settled Hermione stepped out of the lake and walked towards them. _

_She was soaking wet, her lips were blue and she was shivering. She looked around the riverbank as though disoriented then her eyes closed and she collapsed to the ground. _

_Ginny ran forward and tried to lift Hermione off of the ground. She heard students coming towards her and she was thankful for the help as they assisted bring Hermione back up to the school. She was about to follow them when she turned to see her brother staring at the spot where Hermione had emerged from the river. _

"_Ron," Ginny said slowly walking over to him._

_Had the shock of seeing Hermione unconscious again caused him to - no she refused to believe all that Healer talk, her brother was stronger than that. Stronger than to let Hermione fainting in front of him to break him._

"_What is it?" she asked her brother reaching over to shake him slightly._

_He looked down at her after a moment._

_He opened his mouth the closed it again._

"_Hey there you guys are," Harry said running over to them, "Merlin did you see that? Anyway they're taking them to the infirmary lets go."_

_Harry ran a few metres but when he saw that they weren't following them turned and stared at them in confusion and walked back._

"_Whats wrong?" Harry asked in confusion, "Hermione's fine she's -"_

"_That wasn't Hermione," Ron cut Harry off._

_Harry and Ginny shared a brief confused look._

"_Um well yeah she is," Harry continued._

"_That. Was. Not. Hermione," Ron repeated adamantly._

"_What are you talking about?" Ginny questioned her brother, "She was just standing right in front of us, I saw, we saw."_

"_I saw," Ron said in response._

_Ginny nodded her head and sighed in relief._

"_Then lets go," she urged her brother._

"_I saw," Ron continued, "I saw her eyes."_

* * *

"My eyes?" Hermione repeated slowly having listened to Ginny's story which had seemed stranger by the minute. She shook her head and folded her arms across her chest in determination.

"Look this is ridiculous alright, that couldn't have happened."

First she had been attacked, yes that had happened but at no point did she make a tower of water erupt from the lake nor did she simply walk out of the lake, surely someone had carried her out or rescued her...that mermaid maybe, but no way had she just walked out of the lake calmly.

"I still don't know what you meant about her eyes," Harry added.

"That's what I've been trying to maker her admit," Ron said through gritted teeth, "now can I get back to it before you begin spouting more muggle nonsense about me having multiple personalities -"

"It's not nonsense Ron," Ginny shouted at her brother tears forming in the redheads eyes, "You're just too pigheaded to admit to anyone that you need help. I don't care what you bloody says, I won't stop until I figure out how to get my brother back."

"Gin," Ron said in surprise, "I'm standing right here!"

"No you're not," Ginny said turning away to wipe the tears away not wanting the boys to see her cry, "You're not the same person I knew. You're not the same brother who pushed me into the lake as a child or helped teach me how to ride a broom despite our parents forbidding you to do so."

Ron's face fell.

"I know I put everyone through hell and its my fault..." Ron took a deep breath, "I swear to you, that this is me, I have gone through hell to come back to you all. I am different I admit that, but its only been the experiences I've had to live through that's made me this way...I'm still your brother."

He walked over and gave Ginny a hug. She resisted at first before pulling her brother close.

He turned to look at Hermione over Ginny's head.

"If you're not going to admit to what you did then I guess I will just have to tell my own story."

Ron motioned for Ginny to lock the door and she moved to do so. Ron and Harry sat down on the floor. The click of the door caught their attention and they turned to see Ginny close the door and lean against.

"This," Ron said emphasising the point to Ginny, "This is how I know she's not Hermione."

* * *

_Ron stared at the fire, the heat would be enough to keep him warm through the night, he hoped it would at least. He threw a few more branches into the fire. He had to admit the whole leaving home thing probably wasn't the smartest thing he had done, and considering how much nagging Hermione -_

_Ron froze._

_He had been trying to forget that name. He had been a genuine effort to forget all about her. It was the reason he had left home after all, he couldn't stay there not when everything in his life reminded him of her. So he had packed a few meagre belongings, too meagre he regretted now that he was living day to day in the forests. He kept to himself, making a few trips down to the nearby riverbank to wash and collect water to drink. He was grateful at least that he had learnt to cook the old-fashioned muggle way while he was living with Hermione at..._

_"Damn it," he cursed under his breath throwing another piece of wood into the fire. It was quite large now and he stood up. He moved over to his makeshift bed, a basic sleeping bag he had stolen from some muggles who had been camping. Not that they would miss it he thought, they had been packing up their things and headed back home by the looks of it. He would have felt guilty a few earlier days earlier but after a few nights of sleeping out in the cold with a thin blanket made him quickly re-evaluate what he considered honourable behaviour and not. Dying in the middle of nowhere without his family didn't exactly seem like an honourable thing. Then again neither was running away._

_Ron moved and sat down on the sleeping bag, he pulled the small blanket around his shoulders and wondered what his family were up to at the moment. Worrying about him? He hoped not. He had left them a note to reassure them and though he wanted to call or write them, he neither had the funds or resources to do so and - well even if he did he really wasn't in any shape to see anyone. He brushed a hand over his face._

_His stomach growled and he rubbed his tired eyes. He did learn to cook the muggle way while at Shell Cottage, thing was, back then he had money and things called 'grocery stores' available. Here, out in the forest the food moved around and the prospect of hunting and killing any kind of animal made Ron sick._

_He had the niggling feeling that after a few more days when the food and candy bars he had hurriedly stolen from that muggle family ran out he would quickly reevaluate which was better. Killing a defenseless little rabbit or dying of hunger. He dismissed the idea quickly and reached into the small muggle backpack which he had filled with as much food as he could, and found another chocolate candy bar. He sighed, looked at the chocolate bar and put it back into the bag. He could always try to find berries or something to eat but then again Hermione had always warned him about poisonous berries._

_The fire crackled and Ron resigned himself to another night of restless sleep and hunger. He moved to lay down on the sleeping bag and used the blanket as a secondary layer of warmth. he turned in the sleeping bag to stare at the fire blazing near him. _

_How long would he continue on like this? How long could he last?_

_Another sigh escaped his lips and he saw the fog from his mouth ascend into the air. If someone told him that he would freeze to death in the middle of a summer night he would laugh at them but then he wasn't snug in his house, made of wood and bricks right now or wearing his warm, freshly washed pajama's right now. Nope, when he had left he didn't bother about selecting the right clothes, he had just reached for whatever was clean. Thank Merlin he had been wearing trousers and had grabbed another pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt before walking out of his family home. _

_He couldn't really explain why he had done it other than the fact that he knew he couldn't handle to be surrounded by things that reminded of his lost girlfriend and be able to get over it with everyone watching him. His family was..._

_A small smile played on his lips before it died out at the thought of them worrying about him. He wanted to return home everyday, he just wasn't cut out for this outdoor living. He had been honestly spoilt by his mother's care all those years and though he had become quite independent and resourceful living at Shell Cottage and reading about survival and first aid skills, just in case he needed to take Hermione to a muggle healer and be able to answer basic questions - or Merlin forbid she took a sudden turn for the worse and he had to get her better all on his own. He had been a state of shock and panic those first few days at Shell Cottage, not to mention the injuries he had sustained while rescuing Hermione. He had never told Hermione but the little scars on his hands and arms were constant reminders of that day. Of how he had failed to protect her, and also a reminder of how important she was to him. He had continued for months in the delusion that she was his friend and he felt nothing for her more than friendship. It was only when Mrs Figg decided to stick her nose in that he began to question his logic. Still he had pushed those thoughts aside so he could care for Hermione. He had to admit he was on his best behaviour around her, trying to hide how petrified he was and leaving the room whenever he felt like throwing up or to hide his shaking fingers as his changed and cleaned her wounds._

_Ron closed his eyes._

_"Will it be impossible for me to forget you?" he questioned aloud, his voice carried on the wind and remained unheard except for by a few wild animals._

_Why did she do it?_

_How was he supposed to deal with her choice?_

_And it was her choice, he had tried to stop whatever the hell spell she had cast but little good it did._

_Ron turned to lay on his back. He stared up at the night sky and wondered if Harry and his family were looking up at that same sky and wondering where he was. He was sorry for that and not at the same time. He couldn't bring himself to be around anyone at the moment. The thought of people going about their lives as though his life hadn't been shredded to pieces made him angry, no it made him furious. He didn't want to take that anger out on anyone he cared about. Perhaps it was the effect of living alone for so long with a barely conscious Hermione that had done it to him but maybe, just maybe he wasn't as insensitive to others feelings as he used to be._

_Merlin, when he thought back to the things he used to say about Luna, it made him ashamed to call himself a Weasley or a Gryffindor for that manner. _

_Hogwarts._

_Would he go back? Would he survive long enough to go back? Did he even want to?_

_Ron closed his eyes. These questions could be left for another day. For now, he needed sleep._

_What felt like a few seconds later he felt a warm wet object touching his face. When he felt a warm breath on his face that smelt entirely too much like rotten meat his eyes snapped open and he reached for his wand in his pants pocket. He was constricted by the sleeping bag however and ended up tripping face first into the forest floor. He pushed himself up off the ground and turned to see what had awoken him. He stilled. _

_A large grey wolf stared back at him. Its dark eyes shining in the moonlight and were oddly hypnotic. It stared at him and he stared back. Neither of them moving and he wondered if it could hear his racing heartbeat, he remembered reading something about dogs being able to smell fear - would that mean he was about to be a wolf's chew toy...hang on...did they even have wolves in England?_

_Before he could get a grip on his adrenaline fueled mind the wolf made a strange growling snorting sound and turned and disappeared in the forest. Ron stared after it. _

_He turned back to the dying flames of the fire._

_It had been for a brief moment but he was sure...well pretty sure that he had seen a smile on the wolfs lips. But that wasn't possible, it was an animal for goodness sake. Ron shook his head and wondered if he was getting a cold._

_A few hours later after washing his face in a nearby stream, Ron packed up his few belongings and continued on his way. Where he was going he wasn't entirely sure, he just kept walking, kept moving. He admitted that it wasn't really the best plan but this wasn't a camping trip and he wasn't Hermione who had to plan every minute detail. Ron gritted his teeth as that name came up once more. _

_"Idiot," he spat pulling his backpack over his shoulders and walking through the forest._

_He stopped when he was tired, munched on the dwindling candy bars and cans of fruit when he got hungry and tried to figure out which berries were poisonous and debated the dangers of eating wild mushrooms. Every time his eyes fell to the little fungi growing on tree roots and rocks a nagging voice warned him against it. He usually ignored the voice, because it had a tendency to sound exactly like a certain bushy haired girl but sometimes the voice was so persistent he wondered if she had taken over the role of his conscience._

_After another exhausting day of walking, exhausting because he walked quicker and harder when he was trying to ignore that nagging voice and it was particularly in form today when he started picking some berries of a bush. He dropped them just before they reached his mouth though, actually he had tossed them to the ground before walking on. Even when she wasn't around, Hermione could influence him. _

_He dropped to the ground and pulled off his bag and supplies. He was too tired to bother going to find some water so he just poured the water in his water bottle over his face and allowed it to cool his burning face. The nights were cold but the days were bloody hot._

_He pulled off his wet sweaty clothes and changed into shorts and a shirt. He would regret it tonight but he needed to get out of those clothes. He sat leaning against a tree for a long time. His thoughts going back and forth between his family, Harry...and..._

_Ron leaned his head back against the tree._

_"Just let me forget her for one day, one day is all I ask, enough for me to breath without it hurting. Make it enough for me to live without feeling as though someone were squeezing the air out of my body or slowly twisting a knife into a festering wound." _

_Ron closed his tired eyes and soon fell asleep._

_He indeed regretted changing into summer clothes as the day became colder and the sky darkened. He didn't realise until a few days later but he was getting sick. His throat had felt a bit raspy the night after sleeping out in the open with only a small fire. He began to sweat more than usual during the day and his body began to feel far too acutely aware of the cold at night. He had dismissed it at first, his thoughts as usual were on other things. On the fourth day, he couldn't even get up out of his sleeping bag._

_He fell back down weakly onto the hard forest floor and cursed at his own stupidity._

_He was running low on water and food and now he was sick. This was just perfect, if ever he needed a bossy know it all to say 'I told you so' before rolling her eyes and taking care of him, it was now._

_Ron cursed again and closed his tired eyes. _

_"I'm probably going to die out here and she's still all I can think about, Merlin, I'm pathetic."_

_He ignored the ache in his stomach and wrapped himself up in the sleeping bag and fell asleep once more. He couldn't move at the moment and he was too tired to think or do anything about it. He would just have to make sure to take it slow for the next few days. Hopefully he could find some muggles or reach a muggle town. He thought he remembered having some muggle money left over from his time at Shell Cottage and hoped that in his haste he had taken he money with him. _

_"With my luck probably not," he mumbled before drifting off to sleep._

_Ron felt a strange presence surround him in the middle of the night. He didn't know what it was and it didn't feel threatening but still it was an erie feeling. The next morning when he woke he found strange footprints in the ground. He checked the prints, they looked like animal prints but he couldn't be sure as the ground was too densely covered in leaves and bark to allow any prints to remain. He groaned and sat up groggily. His throat felt horrible, like someone had taken sandpaper to them. He coughed and slowly got up and packed his belongings in the bag. he spent some time trying to heat some water over the dying flames to try and make some weak tea to soothe his throat but it didn't help much. He drank the lukewarm water and took a bite out a candy bar. The chocolate, usually his favourite food, felt dry and tasteless in his mouth, he sighed and put the candy bar back into his backpack. He checked his supplies, he still had a small can of some sort of fruit and a bottle of water. He found a small bag of muggle coins at the bottom of the bag, he wasn't sure what he could get with the money but hoped it would be enough to get some muggle medicine. He packed up his sleeping bag and blanket, covered the now cold fire with dirt and made his way out of the forest. It didn't thrill him to walk deliberately towards people but he didn't have any choice. He didn't know what else to do, though not serious, it was beginning to get uncomfortable enough that his body felt cold during the day and hot at night. It would be a matter of time before he would collapse of exhaustion and Merlin forbid die alone in the forest. _

_He questioned whether he should risk a few days resting in a pub or motel but then remembered he didn't have the money for it. He was also not quite sure where he was and even if he could floo back home he didn't know if he had the courage to face everyone again. He had felt like such a failure and that failure would be suffocating at home where he couldn't do anything to help the girl he loved and at the same time have to deal with the aftermath of the trouble they've caused. _

_Then again, maybe he was making too much of this, his family would always love him no matter what. _

_No._

_What really bothered him was the utter helplessness he had felt when he had thrown himself against the door and crashed into the room just as Hermione had performed some weird spell. He had rushed over to her to stop whatever the hell she was doing but by the time he had reached her, the wind that rushed into the room had thrown him against the wall causing him to cut his forehead on the nearby desk, and the broken pieces of glass from the french doors had cut up his arms pretty bad. He had tried to get to Hermione but she was in sort of trance and seemed oddly unhurt by whatever was happening, then as quickly as it had begun, the wind stilled and Hermione collapsed to the floor. By this time, Remus and his dad had managed to pick themselves up as they too had been pushed back by the strange power in the room. It was Ron who reached Hermione first though, it seemed to becoming a habit, he would be the first to reach her only to realise he couldn't do anything to help her. He had held her unconscious body in his arms begging her not to leave him, not after the Shrieking Shack, not after everything they had endured together and after she had finally put him back together from his guilt over what had happened at the Shrieking Shack._

_Yes, Hermione had spent months talking to him, though he pretty much shut down when she brought up the subject. She could see through his mask of calm and perfection that he tried to convey and she talked him through what he was feeling. It was completely normal, she had told him, 'survivors guilt' or something or other. It made a lot of sense, she always was the rational one, but this time, she wasn't here to rationalise away the problems, or the pain he felt. _

**_He had the suspicion that the bonding ceremony they had performed linked them body and soul. He didn't know how it worked and for once neither did she, it was only after they had performed the ceremony on the beach that they suspected something was wrong. He remembered Hermione that night, she in her a periwinkle vintage dress she had found in town and him in a his Hogwarts white collar shirt and trousers, folded up so that he could walk on the sand unhindered, that they had felt a strange connection between them. _**

**_As soon as the spell was done they both stumbled out of the ring of stones. They both swayed on the spot and he saw Hermione fall to the ground and he followed her, it was almost like they were drunk. Neither of them drank alcohol, though he did manage to smuggle some butterbeer for both of them at times but this wasn't how you felt after a few butterbeers._**

**_Ron groaned and he looked over to see Hermione struggling to stand back up. She wobbled to her knees before falling face first into the sand once more. Ron wasn't faring much better. He pushed himself up but his legs and arms felt like jelly. He had no idea how they were going to get back to Shell Cottage like this._**

**_"Wazzuh - huzza..." Ron drawled out, his mouth feeling like lead._**

**_Hermione slowly lifted a swaying head to look at him but didn't manage to lift it far before it fell back to the ground._**

**_"I duunzza -" she attempted to say back before they both gave up and collapsed onto he sand. _**

**_"Homuh.." he attempted to say her name as he swung his head in her direction._**

**_They both lay on their back on the sand having given up trying to move for the time being. She shifted her head and finally managed to turn it too look at him._**

**_That's when it happened._**

**_Their eyes locked._**

**_They're eyes widened simultaneously. They didn't need to say it, they had both felt it. The instant their eyes locked it had felt like something linked inside of them. Strength instantly returned to their limbs and Ron instantly reached out to touch Hermione. He pulled back at the last second when he realised what he was doing. He stared at his hand in confusion before looking at Hermione. She had stood up from the ground, she stepped towards him then stepped back as though physically pulling herself away from an invisible chain tied to both of them. _**

**_They stared at each other in confusion. Something suddenly occurred to Hermione and she gritted her teeth and took another step away from him._**

**_"Give me your hand," she said when the aching they both felt was no longer bearable._**

**_He did as she said. Resisting the urge to push her to the ground and kiss her. She saw the look in his eyes and slapped him across the face._**

**_"Sorry," she apologised instantly, "Don't think about that Ron - just come on."_**

**_Her face flushed at her own words but the next moment she was running back to Shell cottage and he was dragged along with her. He wasn't going to let go of her hand that was for sure but he had never seen Hermione run so fast. _**

**_He had no idea what was going on. For one, they seemed unable to stop touching each other or being near each other as though a physical separation would kill them both. The instant they reached the cottage Hermione had begun panicking as she went through her notes. She had misread something, it had all gone wrong she had said, that was as far as she got before some strange urge took over him and he lifted her up off her feet and pushed her against the nearest object, the kitchen counter. She had shrieked in surprise but the instant their eyes met, he was sure he had seen a strange glow in her eyes and he guessed she must have seen the same in his because they pretty much ripped each other clothes off. He was clumsy and her mouth was going a million miles a minute, even with him kissing her over and over. _**

**_"So wrong -" Ron said into her mouth._**

**_"Have to think..."_**

**_He had lifted her up and let her dress fall to the ground as they made their way up the stairs. _**

**_"Ow," she bit into his mouth when she tripped on the stairs, he held her back up and they both stared each other smiling before reaching for each other again._**

**_She pulled him up the stairs._**

**_"These stupid - buttons," she said struggling with his shirt as she walked backwards towards her room. He pulled her hand away and pulled his shirt apart. She gaped at him before they both laughed. He then ruined it by hitting his shin on the doorframe._**

**_"Bloody hell that hurts!" he said reaching down to rub his leg._**

**_Hermione giggled and he looked up and realised that she was standing in front of him in her undergarments. He gulped and stood back up._**

**_She held out her hand to him and stared at it before looking back at her. He could hear his heart begin to race faster than he thought it was humanely possible._**

**_"Her...Hermione," he whispered as he reached over and held her hand in his. _**

**_She smiled shyly and looked away for a moment before looking back at him. She inclined her head and he stepped forwards, they reached the bed and Hermione fell back._**

**_"Oww..." she laughed rubbing her head as it hit the headboard._**

**_"You alright love?" he said reaching up to inspect her head._**

**_"What did you just call me?" she questioned looking up at him. _**

**_He stilled in his movements and looked down at her. He felt a rush of heat flood his face and he could see the blush creeping up her white skin. Never did anyone look so beautiful and fragile to him as she did that at that moment._**

**_"Love," he whispered hoarsely._**

**_She held a hand over her eyes, he thought she was crying but he saw the smile on her lips. He reached over and moved her hand from her eyes._**

**_"I want to see you," he said simply._**

**_Tears trailed slowly down her face and he leaned down to kiss their salty path down her face._**

**_She gave a gasp when his lips reached her neck._**

**_"Ron," she said breathlessly her fingers grabbing his hair and pulling his mouth up to hers, "I love you so much."_**

**_That's what did it._**

**_He thought that of all the things to throw cold water on this intimate moment, hearing Hermione tell him point blank, that she loved him would not be it. _**

**_"What's wrong?" she said when she saw his expression and he saw doubt in her eyes._**

**_"Does...does this feel weird to you?"_**

**_Hermione's eyes widened and blushed, he realised too late that she had misunderstood him._**

**_"No! not like that," he stumbled out, "I-I don't mean this..."_**

**_He waved a hand between them as though to prove his point._**

**_"I mean...I can't stop thinking about you...I can't stop wanting to - t-touch you."_**

**_Hermione bit her lip, there was still a beautiful blush on her cheeks but she was looking concerned now._**

**_"Yes, it is very -"_**

**_"RON! HERMIONE!"_**

**_They both turned just as Harry burst into the room._**

**_Hermione shrieked and reached for the nearest thing to cover herself which just happened to be Ron. She hid her face in his shoulder and cursed under her breath. He didn't think he had ever heard her swear so much but this wasn't the time to make fun of her._**

**_He just turned and gave his friend a long suffering expression._**

**_"Harry, the bloody-"_**

**_The next words died on his lips because walking into the room beside his best friend was his Dad, Fred, George, Remus and damn it all to hell, Sirius Black laughing his head off._**

**_There was a moment of collective silence before Fred joined in Sirius laughing and Remus quickly averted his eyes and tried to pull a speechless and frozen Harry with him._**

**_Ron pulled the covers over Hermione's semi-naked body and tried to pull his shirt close._**

**_"Hi Dad," he said trying his best to smile innocently._**

**_His father had a hint of amusement in his eyes before it quickly disappeared._**

**_"Outside, now!"_**

**_His Dad turned and dragged George with him who was looking at Ron as though he had never seen him before in his life._**

**_He turned back to find Hermione huddled under the covers mumbling to herself. He leaned over to see what she was saying._**

**_"I'm dreaming, dreaming, just a dream...any minute now..."_**

**_Ron scratched the back of his head._**

**_"I'd better go," he said getting up off the bed._**

**_"Ron," Hermione's pleading voice stopped him as he walked towards the door._**

**_He looked back to her. Her bushy hair even more frizzy and crazy than usual since they had been standing out on the beach for at least an hour, and her face was blushing and she looked mortified but then her eyes._**

**_Ron coughed and rubbed the back of neck._**

**_"I-I'll be right back," he said quickly._**

**_Hermione nodded at him._**

**_"Ron Weasley!" his father bellowed from downstairs._**

**_He sighed and stepped out the door, the image of Hermione holding white blankets around herself as she watched him leave remained in his mind as he stepped into the kitchen and faced all the men in his life, heck where was Bill and Dumbledore, that would make the humiliation complete. _**

**_Sirius had a wolfish grin on his face and Remus was just avoiding his eyes. Harry was just gaping at him and Ron wondered if he had closed his mouth since he had stepped into the room and found his two best friends partially naked on the bed together._**

**_He turned and saw Fred smiling at him like he couldn't have been prouder and George, well George was just staring at him like he was wondering who he was. He heard his father clear his throat and grimaced._**

**_"Take a seat son."_**

_Ron chuckled at the memory, the smile lasted a few seconds before he remembered where he was and what happened since that night. _

_He was so distracted that he didn't see the large tree root sticking out the ground and he fell painfully to the ground, his shoulder hitting another tree root._

_Ron groaned and tried to get up, but the pain in shoulder was unbearable. He lay there for a moment trying to catch his breath. He was tired, hadn't had a shower in days, was feeling miserably sick and had probably just dislocating his shoulder._

_This day just keeps getting better and better, he thought before using his uninjured arm to push himself onto his back. He lay back and stared at the sky. He hadn't even realised that the sun was beginning to set, which meant he wouldn't be able to find a village before night fell. With his arm injured he didn't know if he could even set up camp properly. He wiped the dirt and sweat from his face._

_He wanted to go home, but couldn't. He wanted to see Hermione's face, but couldn't. He wanted this all to be a dream but knew it wasn't. He lay his head back down on the forest floor._

_"What a mess you've made of it Weasley," he said to himself pushing the images of Hermione from his mind and back into the dark corners of his thoughts._

_The whole point of getting away from his family was to get his mind off of her but every day and it seemed almost every minute his thoughts would be on her. It hurt. Plain and simple. It hurt and he didn't want to hurt anymore. He didn't want to go back to school without her there. Didn't want to go home knowing she wouldn't be coming over to spend the summer with him. She wouldn't be there to knock sense into him and tell him what an idiot he was being - and she wasn't there to tell him she loved him, not for being a Weasley, not because he was a Gryffindor or Harry Potter's best friend, but because she loved the hopeless mess that he was._

_He wanted to forget she existed and yet he wanted to hold onto every memory of her. _

_He hated her for wiping her memory, and at the same time he loved her so bloody much he felt like he was being torn apart just thinking about her. The bond that they had formed made it worse. Every step he took away from her was painful, it felt like a million tiny pins being stabbed into his chest with each breath and at the same time he felt as though she were right beside him. It should have comforted him but those times when he could almost feel her presence next to him, as though she were holding his hand in hers, and the pain increased tenfold. _

_He froze when he heard someone or something approach him. He lifted his head up and reached for his wand. He pushed himself painfully up off the floor and pointed his wand at where he thought he heard the sound coming from._

_His eyes widened when a white wolf stepped into the clearing and walked over to him, eyes trained on his. He didn't break its gaze though it was incredibly unnerving. He aimed his wand at the creature in case it would suddenly attack but he didn't feel threatened by the creature._

_The wolf stepped up to him. It stood directly in front of him that he could smell its breath. He realised it smelt like the grey wolf he had seen the other night, it definitely had the same rotten meat breath, maybe they were of the same pack. Were they tracking him? Waiting for him to become too weak to fight them off before making a meal of him._

_"No chance buddy," he said as though expecting the wolf to understand him._

_Surprisingly the wolf turned and walk off, it turned one more time and looked at him before disappearing back into the forest._

_"Okay," he said slowly using the nearby tree to pull himself up, "No more sleeping out in the forest."_

_He knew it was the smart thing to do, but then it was already getting late and he had no idea which way to go to find other people let alone a place to sleep for the night. He grabbed his shoulder, the pain increased with each step but he gritted his teeth and continued walking. He was sure that he find people eventually. What was that he had read in a muggle book, if you followed water you would eventually find people?_

_He took a moment and tried to listen to the sound of water, he couldn't hear anything so he kept walking, maybe if he kept walking he would reach water soon enough._

_By the time he found a stream, it was already dark and he ended up making camp on the riverbank. He sat staring at the fire, holding the can of fruit in his uninjured hand. It occurred to him a while back that he wouldn't be able to open it with only one hand. He placed it on the ground and tried to figure out how to cut it open with a spell. His brain refused to think at the moment though and he really wasn't that hungry anyway. _

_He sighed and ended up poking at the fire with a tree branch. _

_"Mind if I join you?"_

_Ron shot up instantly at the sound of the voice beside him. He stared at the man in front of him. The man had appeared out of nowhere, he looked like a camper or hiker but other than the rabbit slung over his shoulder he didn't seem to be carrying any supplies on him. The man was tall, at least a head taller than Ron, blonde hair, clear blue eyes like the sea on a clear day. Ron eyed the stranger, he didn't trust this person, something seemed off about the manner in which he carried himself, he wore muggle clothes but there was definitely something magical about him, there was something about his demeanor that shouted power. A wizard like himself? Ron wondered for a moment, taking in the size and build of the man. He looked like he could tackle a bear and yet at the same time he wasn't ...oh what was the word 'Mione had used, oh yes, he didn't look like a 'muscle head'. _

_Ron shifted back slightly, gripping the wand in his pocket and nodded his head at the man._

_The man smirked and sat down._

_"Much obliged," the stranger said taking a seat on the opposite side of the fire._

_Ron took a moment to observe the man. When the man suddenly turned and returned his gaze it made Ron's insides feel cold, as though he could breathe out ice just by staring at the man in front of him. And yet..._

_Ron cocked his head to the side._

_"Do...Do I know you?" Ron questioned the stranger, he knew it couldn't be possible, he had had little exposure to muggles and wizards and didn't tend to make a habit of making friends with strangers, and yet this man felt oddly familiar. Almost like..._

_The man to Ron's horror smiled at him, shook his head then took out a large hunting knife._

_'That's it,' Ron thought to himself, 'I've invited a psycho serial killer to join me for dinner.'_

_But instead of attacking Ron as expected, the man simply began to skin the rabbit. The sight sickened Ron. Hey, Ron was a meat eater, he enjoyed a good steak or lamb roast as much as the next bloke but the sight of someone actually killing and skinning an animal before his eyes almost made him want to turn vegetarian. He held down his stomach and looked at the man rather than at the animal he was preparing._

_"I'm sure I've seen you before," Ron continued. _

_The stranger looked up at him._

_"So many questions young warlock," the man said causing a shiver to run up Ron's spine and Ron was instantly on his feet._

_"Who are you!" Ron demanded pointing his wand at the man._

_The man scoffed at him in return._

_"Put the stick away child," the man continued, "If I had wanted to kill you, I would have had Pryderi or Taliesen do so some nights ago."_

_The man nodded to the forest and Ron turned to see a two wolves walking towards him, a grey and a white wolf._

_"Sit down young warlock," the man continued, "Your magic tricks will not help you, if I wanted you dead you wouldn't even have time to breathe before you were bleeding on the ground at my feet."_

_That didn't exactly make him feel all warm and fuzzy but considering that the wolves were standing on either side of the fire, staring directly at him like he was their next meal, he thought it best for the time being to listen to the man._

_"A-Alright," Ron swallowed, "If you're not going to kill me and your wolves aren't going to use me as chew toys, then what do you want?"_

_The man was putting his rabbit on a long stick and was now placing it over the fire to cook. The image made Ron feel even more sick so he looked up at the man and tried to ignore how close the wolves were standing to him._

_"The question is, what is it that you want young warlock?"_

_Ron looked at the man in confusion._

_"Who are you?" he said when he couldn't stand the look of amusement on the man's face._

_The man let his head fall back and laughed into the night sky._

_"He doesn't even know who I am," the man continued to laugh, "I had thought he was smarter than this."_

_That pissed Ron off but the presence of the wolves prevented him from jumping up and pummeling the man._

_The man must have seen the look in Ron's eyes because he stopped laughing but continued looking at Ron in amusement._

_"Ah there it is," he chuckled, "There is the raw anger that I was hoping to see."_

_Ron just narrowed his eyes on the man. _

_"Oh don't look so glum little mortal," the man smiled, "I am here to - what is that mortal say - oh yes, I am here to grant you all you desire."_

_Ron just continued to look at the man skeptically. This act was getting old fast._

_Another chuckle from the man._

_"Your shoulder does it hurt?" _

_Ron straightened his back and stopped rubbing his shoulder, he had been doing it unconsciously and didn't want the man to know he was injured._

_"Oh don't be like that, I ask only because I am concerned."_

_"And why," Ron said slowly eyeing the grey wolf who stepped closer to him and began sniffing his shoulder, "Would you care about me?"_

_The man turned the rabbit he was cooking in the fire before answering._

_"Your health matters to me little creature," the man sat back and took a swig of something out of a flask from his pocket, "It is my job to keep you safe after all."_

_"Your job?" Ron said skeptically._

_"Why that was part of the deal you and your lover made on the beaches that night only a month ago now," The man leaned forward when Ron furrowed his brow in confusion, "Or did you not know that you had evoked the ancient spirits of this land?"_

_Ron gritted his teeth when the man let out another loud laugh._

_"Well this is more than I would have hoped," the man continued laughing until Ron let out a frustrated noise._

_"So what the hell do you want?"_

_Ron knew it was the wrong thing to say instantly as the wolves beside him growled and stepped towards him threateningly. The stranger suddenly flickered and reappeared in front of him._

_Ron stumbled back falling off the log he had been sitting on._

_"You would show me respect little creature."_

_Ron stared at the man completely speechless._

_The next moment the wolves were stepping back and the man flickered and reappeared on the other side of the fire as though he hadn't done a Houdini on him._

_Ron slowly got back up._

_"What is it that you want?" Ron tried again._

_"To help you of course," the man replied._

_"Yeah sure," Ron replied before he could stop himself._

_The man smirked at Ron._

_"I would give you whatever it is you desire," the man continued, "Is there nothing you want?"_

_Ron's thoughts flickered towards Hermione before he threw the door closed on that thought once more. But it was too late, the man seemed to be able to read his mind._

_"Ah, the young maiden is very beautiful is she not."_

_Ron's hands clenched into fists on his knees and he stared at the fire rather than at the man._

_"Unfortunately," the man said though he didn't sound sorry at all, "I cannot bring her back, no that little spell she cast cannot be undone by her alone."_

_Ron's eyes instantly shot up._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Well, she made a deal with my beloved sister and now she is...shall we say trapped."_

_"Trapped?" Ron repeated his pulse beginning to race, "What do you mean?"_

_"Well I could answer your question little mortal or I could simply show you."_

_Ron moved back from the man._

_"What are you proposing?"_

_"An answer to all your problems," the stranger said flicking his hands up into the air dramatically, "You could have the girl you dream of day and night -"_

_The man stopped suddenly and looked at Ron carefully._

_"Oh I see."_

_"What?" Ron said suddenly alarmed, "What do you see?"_

_"You don't want her back do you," the man held up his arms when Ron stood up angrily, "You love the girl, more than I have ever seen a mortal of your age love another...and yet you do not want her in your thoughts."_

_Ron looked around desperately, he wanted to argue that the man was wrong, that he would die to have his Hermione back. Instead he sat back down on the log defeated._

_"I could make it so that you could forget you had ever met her," The man continued pulling the cooked rabbit from the fire and biting into it, it looked still raw because blood trickled down the man's chin and when he smiled at Ron blood was visible in his teeth, "I could make it so all your pain goes away."_

_Ron took a deep breath and looked at the man._

_"Who are you?"_

_The man smiled again._

_"A friend," he said in reply, "But I see you need a few more days to think about it."_

_With those words the man stood up, his clothes shimmered and in the place of muggle clothes, bronze armor appeared._

_"Until next time, Ronald Bilius of the Weasley Clan."_

_The man turned and walked back into the forest the wolves following after him._

_Ron sat completely shaken by the experience._

_He had no idea who he had just met or what had just happened. He did know that the man had offered him something that he had been wishing for._

_To forget her._

_It was easy enough for her to forget him, so why couldn't he do the same? If it would mean that he wouldn't hurt anymore than maybe..._

_'No,' a voice inside his head screamed at him._

_Ron kicked a nearby pebble and it skipped into the fire._

_"Completely stupid."_

* * *

_"You alright there boy?"_

_Ron's hand stilled just as it reached over to grab the box of paracetemol. He looked up at the old man looking at him warily from behind the pharmacy counter._

_Ron swallowed and nodded his head. He could understand why the man was looking at him suspiciously. It had taken almost another two days of endless walking before he found his way out of the forest and into a small town. He averted his gaze as he walked past muggles staring at him open mouthed and whispering as he walked past. It was only when he passed a shop window did he see what they had been staring at. He had been weeks living alone in the wilderness that he had just plain forgotten to care about what he looked like. His hair had grown longer, unwashed and had dirt and other forest debris in them. His face was dirt stained and blood smeared from the number of times he had fallen over in his weariness and fallen to sleep on the forest floor despite the pain he felt in his shoulder or his entire body in fact. _

_He stared at his hand outstretched towards the box of muggle medicine. No matter what he did he couldn't shake the cold he had picked up last week. His shoulder still ached, he wondered if he had dislocated it and whether he should see a muggle healer._

_He picked up the box and walked toward the counter._

_The old man looked him up and down, scanned the box of paracetemol tablets and waited for Ron to pay him._

_Ron had found some muggle money in his bag, it wasn't much but enough to pay for some basic medicine. He handed over the scrunched up money and took the box. He turned to walk out avoiding the man's gaze._

_He was out the door before he realised the man was calling him back. He was stopped when the old man grabbed his arm and Ron was forced to turn back to look at him._

_"Your change son," the old man said slowly, the hardness and suspicion disappearing from his face and eyes as he looked at Ron, "You need anything else? Someone I can call for you maybe?"_

_Ron looked at the old man and shook his head._

_"There's a pay phone just down the road," the man continued, "I could help you call home if you'd like."_

_Ron felt his eyes begin to sting and he turned away from the man._

_"Thank you, no," he replied, his voice hoarse from coughing and lack of use._

_With that he stepped back from the kindly old man and continued on his way back to the forest. He felt so exhausted, the thought of returning home sounded like heaven but he just couldn't bring himself to go back there. He still couldn't._

_He stopped at the end of the road, his eyes unconsciously directed towards the phone booth. He stood there for he didn't know how long before walking over to the public phone. _

_He stared at the old phone._

_He had used them quite a lot while he was at Shell Cottage and there was really only one number he knew._

_He picked up the handle and heard the familiar dial tone. He looked down at his hand and saw the coins in them. Just enough to make one call._

_He looked at the phone, put it back down and stepped back._

_He turned and walked down the street. _

_He crossed the road that separated the town from the forest. He stepped over the dirt path and over the wooden fence. He rested his hand on a nearby tree to catch his breath. He took out the medicine from his pocket and popped a few pills into his mouth and took a swig of water to swallow them._

_He returned his bottle to his backpack and prepared to walk back into the forest. _

_He couldn't move._

_His feet refused to move._

_He bit his lip as the memories rose to the surface._

_**"I love you," Hermione whispered in her sleep.**_

_**"I think I would be happy to stay here forever with you," she had smiled over at him as they watched a muggle movie together.**_

_**"Even if the whole world, even if you doubt it, I will always remember how brave, how courageous and how much better you are than all the men I will ever meet in my life."**_

_Ron felt the his body shake with the strength it took for him not to cry. He didn't want to cry anymore damn-it, he didn't want to let this hurt him anymore. He wanted to be able to walk back into the world and know that this wouldn't kill him._

_But he was lying to himself. Every breath, every moment, every second without her killed him._

_He didn't know he could love someone so much, that there absence would feel like it was cutting little pieces of him everyday. Slowly but surely he felt himself becoming lost without her. He couldn't explain it, he didn't understand it. Why did he have to love someone who annoyed the hell of him, nagged him to death - who made him better...and destroyed him at the same time?_

_Ron slammed his fists against the tree and turned back around. He jumped over the fence, he heard the car horn and the screech of tires too late._

_He turned, bathed in light and then he was hit on his side, he felt himself being thrown, his head and arms hitting the side of the car before he was flying through the air. Ron felt the hard rough ground come up to meet him. He struggled for a moment and coughed and spat out the blood._

_"Oh my god! Are you alright?"_

_"Oh god! Someone call for help!"_

_He could hear the muggle's screaming in panic around him, car doors opening and people running over to him. He coughed and tasted warm blood on his lips. He was face down on the road. He saw a crowd of people surrounding him, their blurry feet shifting in and out of his line of vision. Suddenly his heart stopped._

_Hermione stood on the other side of the road._

_She couldn't be real. Couldn't be..._

_She was just standing there watching him. She was in her Hogwarts uniform, a few metres from where he lay, just watching him._

_He opened his mouth to call her name but his body wouldn't cooperate. _

_He blinked as blood trickled into his eyes. When he opened them again she was gone._

_His heart suddenly jolted back to life. His heart began to race._

_'Hermione. Hermione. Hermione,' he chanted inside his head._

_He gritted his teeth and struggled to move his move. His body felt like lead but he needed to get up. He needed to get to her. He pushed past the pain and struggled to his feet, his left arm felt limp and aching by his side._

_"Don't move!" someone said in horror but Ron ignored them, he tripped a few times but he pushed the people out the way and began to walk slowly across the road to where he had seen Hermione. A few people grabbed him and tried to stop them, he think he might have used magic on them, he couldn't be sure because they all stopped talking and he then he was running. _

_The town sped past him in a blur._

_He swerved his way through people and cut across garden lawns before reaching the phone booth once more. Breathless and exhausted he stepped up to the phone and picked up the handle._

_He stared at the muggle money in his hand before placing the coins in one by one, ignoring the blood on the coins as they disappeared into the public phone. He lifted a hand to the phone, bit back at the pain he felt in his chest and arm and began pressing each number carefully. They made a beep, beep sound before he heard the phone begin to ring._

_It seemed to go on forever. He began to think that he had gotten the number wrong, or maybe they just weren't home. He blinked as blood began to trickle into his eyes. His shoulders slumped and he cursed himself for being so foolish, his legs began to give way, the adrenaline from the accident was already disappearing. He stared up at the darkening sky and cursed at Merlin, at the Gods, at whatever possessed him to come back here. He moved to hang up the phone -_

_"Hi, this is the Granger residence..."_

_Ron's instantly placed the phone back to his ear. He opened his mouth to speak - _

_Was it her? Was it Hermione?_

_"Hello?" the familiar voice spoke, crackling and soft on the other side of the line._

_He tried again, opening his mouth to say her name, instead only inaudible sounds escaped his mouth._

_"...Is someone there?"_

_Ron felt his eyes sting and his chest ache at the sound of her voice. _

_Hermione made an annoyed sound on the other side of the line._

_"Who is it dear?" he heard her mother ask._

_"Prank call I think," Hermione replied her voice sounded distant as though she were about to hang up on him._

_A clatter of noise._

_"Her- " he said desperately not wanting her to hang up on him._

_"Ron?"_

_Ron stilled. _

_It was Hermione's mother. How did she know it was him?_

_"Ron is that you? Are you alright? We all so worried abou-"_

_Ron let out a strangled sob before he hung up the phone._

_He leaned his head against the phone and bit back the sobs, his shoulders shook from the effort. He didn't know how long he had stood there. When he stepped back he saw the elderly man from the pharmacy holding some rubbish bags in one hand as though he were just about to close the store for the night. Ron averted his gaze and stumbled back across the street._

_He had seen pity in those eyes. He didn't want that. _

_He just wanted his girlfriend back._

* * *

_Ron collapsed to his knees in the forest clearing, feeling completely numb and broken._

_He lifted his eyes and met the gaze of the person standing in front of him._

_"I think you are ready to deal now, yes?" the man's voice filled the night air._

_Ron closed his eyes. He took a shaky breath and nodded his head._

_The man moved towards him, he was wearing a cloak made of wolfskin now, Ron briefly wondered if he had skinned the two wolves that had been following him but then the wolves appeared out of the dark shadows of the forest._

_"Wh-" Ron swallowed and tasted the blood in his mouth, he shouldn't be able to stand, he shouldn't even be able to talk but damn if he was going to knell in front of this person, "Who are you?"_

_The man disappeared in a puff of smoke before reappearing in front of Ron._

_"Steady there mortal," the man said lifting Ron up just as his legs gave way, Ron's head despite himself fell onto the man's chest. It smelt vile, Ron could almost smell the blood of the animals this man had slaughtered, or at least he hoped it was animal blood._

_The man placed him against a large tree and knelt in front of him._

_"Efnysien fab Euroswydd, son of Euroswydd and Penarddun, and your protector young warlock."_

_Ron's eyes drifted close._

_"Ah not just yet, you can rest after we have struck our deal," Efnysien continued pulling out a flask from his his belt and forced the drink down Ron's throat._

_Ron gagged and spat it out, it tasted worse than polyjuice potion if that was possible and smelt like boiled guts and blood. Ron coughed and glared at the man._

_"We'll have to toughen you up a bit Beorn," Efnysien continued as though he hadn't just forced Ron to drink whatever the hell that concoction was. _

_"You're insane," Ron said after a moment._

_Efnysien smiled in reply._

_"Yes, I am quite."_

_Ron just stared at the man speechless._

_"And yet knowing this you still want to make the deal would you not Beorn?"_

_"Why do you keep calling me that?" Ron questioned the man._

_"Beorn?" Efnysien repeated, "Why it is your name young warlock, it is the name carved out in time, in blood and battle for you and your kin."_

_"I - I don't understand," Ron said his mind struggling to keep up and his body struggling to remain afloat, he wanted to just close his eyes and sleep but this man kept pouring the horrible drink down his throat._

_"But you will," Efnysien said cryptically, "Now onto our deal."_

_Ron slumped down further when Efnysien stepped back, he raised a hand and a fire appeared in the middle of the clearing. He patted a hand over the grey wolf as he walked past the creature before moving to sit across the fire from Ron._

_"Tell me what is that you want?"_

_Ron didn't speak and he knew he didn't have to, the man smiled back him, his teeth barred as though he were salivating over a delicious meal._

_"Oh yes, to forget your love," a laugh escaped the mans lips as though this were all some big cosmic joke to him, the sound caused Ron to grit his teeth._

_"I can do you one better," the man continued, "I can make you forget pain, forget your mortal life in fact. Would you like that little one? To forget pain and suffering? To be at peace."_

_Ron felt his head drop to his chest and he struggled to raise it back up to glare at the man._

_"What do you want in return?" he questioned though the effort was causing him to cough up more blood._

_A chuckle from the man._

_"Perhaps you are smarter than I gave you credit for," Efynsien chortled._

_"Or I just listen to smart people," Ron mumbled in response his thoughts returning to Hermione._

_"I promise to make you strong, in heart, mind and body," Efnsien listed off the benefits with one hand and looked at Ron with a piercing gaze, "I can even promise to make you forget the one that causes you daily pain, and protect you from all harm."_

_Ron waited. Hermione had taught him that all magic came at a price, and this ancient magic it would surely have a price he still wasn't sure he could pay._

_"And all I want in return," Efnsien smiled gleefully, "Is to use your mortal body."_

_Ron struggled and pushed himself up against the tree._

_"What?" he said in disbelief._

_"I have no mortal vessel," Efnsien said disappearing and reappearing around the clearing as though to prove his point, "Yes, I can use the body of these wolves and other wild animals but mortal flesh is beyond my power, unless of course it is offered willingly."_

_Ron took a long time to process that._

_"And what do you plan to use my body for?"_

_Ron knew his face was giving the man a disgusted look._

_The magical being in front him simply smirked and appeared in front of him. Ron shifted back but hit the tree behind him._

_"I have not lived young Beorn, I have watched mortal men be born, live and die a thousand, million times over, each more wretched and disgusting and so gloriously tortured. I want to see the world, smell the fresh air, taste life as you mortals do."_

_"Will you kill anyone?" Ron questioned, he knew he should be telling the man to bugger off but he really didn't have much choice, if what this man was saying was true he could give Ron peace and restore his health, and right now, he was bleeding and broken in so many places he didn't think he would survive the night._

_Efnsien stood up and walked around the fire, his blonde hair shimmering and changing colour to almost resemble Ron's own red hair. Finally he turn to face Ron. _

_"You have my word that I will not kill any mortal man in my travels."_

_Ron replayed that sentence in his head. After his and Hermione's bonding ceremony he knew to be careful with words._

_"You will not kill any mortal man, woman, child or other person?"_

_A smile played on Efnsien lips and he nodded his head in agreement._

_"You have my word little Beorn."_

_"How long will you ..." Ron trailed off not sure how to phrase what he wanted to ask the man._

_"Shall we say six of your mortal months?" Efnsien replied._

_Ron scutinised the man._

_"Six months, that's all you want?" _

_Efnsien gave Ron an amused look._

_"Yes, six months should be enough time to repair your broken body, mind and spirit young warlock, as well as to of course fulfill my own desires."_

_"And if I should die during those six months or you kill someone?"_

_"Unlikely," Efnsien replied before adding, "Should anything occur to break our deal, than I promise to protect your mortal body and ensure your safe return to the ones you love, or who love you, until the bargain is met."_

_Ron didn't like the way the man spoke. It sounded as though every word had a double, triple meaning to them._

_"If I do this...will you give me six months of peace?"_

_"I will do as you say."_

_"I won't...remember her?"_

_"It is as you say."_

_"I won't feel this way anymore."_

_"It will be so."_

_Ron took a deep breath, it hurt to breath but he struggled to his feet and stared directly at the man in front of him._

_"Then we have a deal."_

_He saw the mans eyes glow golden before the eyes appeared in front of him and his world turned black. The last sound he heard was laughter echoing around the forest._

* * *

Hermione stared at Ron completely speechless.

She saw out the corner of her eye that Harry and Ginny were waiting for Ron to continue speaking.

Ron stood from up from the floor, his face stern and jaw clenched before walking out of the room.

"Ron," Ginny said grabbing him by the arm to stop him.

"Just need a minute," Ron replied pulling his arm free and walking out of the room.

Hermione watched him leave before turning back to stare at the spot he had been sitting. She could barely believe the story he had just told her. She didn't doubt what she had heard but she just couldn't believe the lengths he had gone to forget her - no not to forget her...to recover from the loss of her, no, she shook her head at the thought. Not her, he had done all that to deal with the loss of the girl he loved and that girl wasn't her.

Was that the point of his story to convince her that she never was nor would ever be Hermione.

Hermione sat staring at her clenched fists in her lap. She hadn't realised she had been clenching them so tightly and she loosened them and felt the blood flow into them. She looked up when she felt a presence near her.

"Is it true?"

Hermione stood up and stared at the ghostly Hermione that had appeared in front of her. The girl looked at her sadly.

"Yes - and no."

* * *

**_Lance,_**

**_Remember me saying how this just wasn't my day? Yeah well, guess what? Apparently I'm not even who I thought I was...again._**

**_Hermione._**


	32. Someone Wonderful

**Chapter 28 - Someone Wonderful**

**_Lance,_**

**_I have been trying for so long to find out who I am, but now that I know, I find that I am afraid of the truth..._**

* * *

For the longest time, at least it had felt a long time she wasn't even aware of who she was. It was like little sparks of electricity and in those brief moments a flash of recognition, a flash of memory and then it would be gone again.

She wasn't entirely sure at what point those sparks of electricity and lightning changed and she began to feel herself again, feel a flicker of consciousness. It was slow, at least it had felt slow, like drops of water being slowly pulled to a single point in time, a single existence.

It took her much much longer before she began to feel, to sense her surroundings. It wasn't much at first, just a quick brush of a summer breeze or a scent of something outside of herself.

She didn't know at what point it all came together, nor at what point she realised that she could begin to piece together the shapes, the colours and the smells surrounding her.

Those moments seem to drain her body...no she didn't have a body at that point, she wasn't sure what she was. She just - _was_.

She slowly began to recognise time passing, she couldn't really explain it, she couldn't see the sun or moon rise to indicate time but she could feel time passing her like a speeding train as she walked along the train tracks.

Walking. That was another thing she had realised she could do. She still felt fractured, and broken but at some point she began to feel herself walking, her body, or whatever she was was moving. To where exactly she didn't know, she just knew she had to keep going, keep walking, keep existing.

It wasn't easy. There would be times when a sudden burst of energy or spark of knowledge would shatter her once more and she would break into thousands, millions of tiny pieces. She would be lying if she said that it didn't hurt when that happened. It was like being burnt, being ripped and cut to shreds and it was up to her to claw herself back from the pit of darkness back to existence.

It was almost animalistic, that need to keep existing, to pull herself together as though there was a hunger for something and she would not be satisfied until she figured out what it was that she desired, what it was that would satisfy her.

Then again, sometimes it wouldn't hurt at all. Some times she would feel a sudden surge of sadness, the feeling so crushing so all-consuming that she really couldn't register any other form of pain. When those sudden burst of sadness hit her she just ceased to be at those moments and then the cycle would begin again and she would feel her consciousness be pulled back together like puzzle pieces adrift on the wind.

Slowly, her body began to form in her mind, she recognised that she had legs, had arms and that the colours and sensations around her had changed into blurry images. She tried to focus on those images but when she willed her feet to walk faster, her hands to reach forward to touch them, they would shift and she would be even further away from them.

She didn't really know what to do, so she just kept walking. The place was strange. It was dark and cold at times and other times the ground beneath her burnt her feet, hurt her eyes and she would feel as though her skin was burning, it was hard to keep herself together during those times. She had collapsed several times, had shattered into a pieces more than once but she always seemed to wake up in the same place as though she had never moved, as though time existed simply to torture her.

One day, she really couldn't tell when or why that day was so special but she began to feel grass beneath her feet. Her vision began to focus more, it would still blur and faded if she focused too much on it though, like a faded picture that would turn to dust if you held it too tightly.

She was confused, she was scared, she was alone...but something told her to keep going.

'Just over that hill, just over that horizon, just a little further,' she would tell herself again and again, not really sure what it was that was waiting for her, only knowing that she had to get to it.

Days passed slow and steady. She began to see the sun pass over her, the moon and stars above and she rarely if ever shattered or disappeared into darkness. She held onto that realisation, like a starving man on a lonely island seeing a ship off on the horizon, she didn't know if she was just holding onto false hope, if she was going crazy or if she really was starting to remember who she was.

Another day and another and she began to feel a strange tugging from within her. She looked down, saw her dirt covered and bleeding feet, wondered how long she had been walking, if felt like a very long time but then some days seem to pass by quickly and she would feel her hope rise and fall with the sun and moon. She ignored the state of her body with its cuts and bruises, lifted her hand and tried to pinpoint where the tugging was coming from. Her fingers brushed up her ribs and stopped.

*Thump Thump*

She was startled to realise that something was beating beneath her chest. She also wished she hadn't realised that because the next moment she felt something tear through her. She screamed in anguish and collapsed to the ground. She felt that whatever was inside her chest was trying to dig its way out. The little fluttering creature inside her was beating against her ribs, clawing at her insides, it wanted to be free from its little cage.

She cried and screamed, the pain was unbearable.

Some time later she awoke, realised that the pain had been too much and she had blacked out. She struggled to her feet, feeling wobbly and weak. Her hand reached up involuntarily to her head and held it there as though afraid that it would topple off and fall from its place on her shoulders. She took a shaky step forwards, another and another, because she didn't know what else to do and because she was afraid to think about the little fluttering creature inside her chest.

It didn't help.

The creature began beating its fists from inside her chest and she could practically feel its tiny fingers, its claws cutting through her body. She felt more than saw it finally reach its goal. Looking down she saw a stream of blood gurgle and drip from the hole in her chest. She put her hand on the wound but quickly pulled it away seeing a cut and blood on her hands. Whatever was inside didn't want to leave her body, it seemed only to want to make her bleed.

She didn't know why it wanted to hurt her but the next time she tried to stop the bleeding, her fingers brushed against a strange string. She cocked her head and stared at the red string. The hole in her chest was still bleeding but the blood had somehow formed a red string which was pooling at her feet causing her to trip. She bent over, ignoring the pain in her chest and gathered the pool of string. She stared at it confused and tried to trace the string to its end.

The string had no end.

It was now long enough that it seemed to be disappearing off into the horizon. Confused she held the pool of red string to her chest and followed the red line.

She didn't understand it but this seemed important. It seemed right.

She didn't remember who she was, what she was doing here in this lonely desolate place nor the strange things that were happening to her but she knew, like she had always known that if she kept going, if she kept walking she would one day reach her goal.

It was important, she knew that much, very important to her.

If she could remember what it was, she knew she would find all the answers she needed.

Days continued to pass by but she wasn't focused on that anymore. The large pool of string her arms was slowly becoming smaller. Step by step, day by day she was getting closer and she felt a fluttering from inside her.

*Thump Thump Thump* The little creature inside her chest would cry out, urging her forwards, to go that bit faster, to not give up.

She stopped taking time to rest, it slowed her down. Each time her eyes drifted close the *thump thump thump* inside her chest would awaken her once more and she would move her legs on.

There were days when it felt as though she had made no progress at all. She collapsed in exhaustion a few times and as she pulled her head off the ground to look off into the distance, across the rapidly changing scenery, she thought she heard something. It was faint at first...and she thought that she was really losing her mind.

The next day however she heard it more clearly, like a whisper carried on the wind.

She started to run then, the string fell to her feet and it soon became taught like whatever was on the other side was pulling her along. Her feet soared and flew across the ground. She felt elated, her face breaking into a smile and then -

Darkness fell.

She collapsed to the ground in a painful heap.

She reached down and touched the string coming from her chest.

The instant her fingers touched the string a pain like none other fell upon her, crushing her.

She began sobbing uncontrollably.

She didn't know why but she felt as thought whatever was insider her was breaking. She was overwhelmed with sadness.

She cried for days on end, she couldn't stop herself. The tears continued to fall and the pain was making her body physically shake. She gasped for air unable to breath. She was sure she would return to the darkness once more. Her chest tightened and her throat burned, she beat at her chest where the pain was coming from.

'Why?'

'Why does it hurt?'

She couldn't understand it at all. She just felt an intense amount of pain and sadness and no matter what she tried to do, she couldn't stop herself from crying and sobbing in pain.

She heard it again.

It was a voice.

Someone was calling her.

She pulled herself up from the ground, tears still streaming down her face and began to run towards the sound.

Then one day, it suddenly occurred to her that she was no longer running, she was floating. She was floating, like a...a ballon and the red string was pulling her along even faster.

Her blurry vision shifted and swayed and she saw flashes of red and gold, of fire and embers.

She felt her energy leaving her and whatever was holding her together began to pull her apart once more, but this time she fought it, she fought against the power that told her to sleep, to rest.

No.

She didn't want to go back to that place. To that place where she didn't exist. It wasn't scary because she didn't feel fear - it was something else, something primal. Some instinct inside her telling her that she was wrong that she didn't fit. That thought disturbed her but she couldn't focus on any of that right now, couldn't focus on anything...except the sound of someone calling her.

She willed herself to remain strong and not to fall apart once more.

She was able to focus on the voice.

She blinked. Blinked again.

The darkness shifted. The stars shone just a bit brighter and the moon was casting a shadow on something ahead of her.

It was a someone.

A person, walking alone, like her...but not like her at all.

He was walking in the darkness, but there was light surrounding him.

A flash of light and suddenly she could hear - everything, see everything.

The crunch of the leaves under this persons feet as he moved -

Another flash.

He was in a forest, a dark and isolated forest.

He was alone and he barely made a sound except for the crunch crunch of his shoes agains the leaves and branches at his feet.

It occurred to her that she was now on her feet once more, walking behind him but he still remained out of reach. He was moving with focus with intent.

It was like something clicked inside her, the closer she was to this person the more she aware she became. Slowly she felt her awareness growing, she still didn't know how much time had passed since her consciousness had pieced itself together or how much longer she would have to walk, but she had another purpose now, to be by his side.

She could see the light around him grow bright and dark and could see him stop and rest and then some time later get up once more and move on.

At some point she realised that she had began to see the world more completely and that it had stopped fading in out and out whenever she felt weak. The world felt solid, he felt solid...but she was still the same.

Suddenly, while she was being dragged behind him it occurred to her that her name was 'Hermione' and she wondered how she could have ever forgotten that fact.

She began to feel stronger after that, her consciousness began to claw back and scratch away at the darkness and she began to remember more things like that she was a girl, she was fifteen years old and that this person who she was connected to was very important to her.

This person with red hair and blue eyes began to form properly in front of her and she realised that she loved this person. It also occurred to her that he was sad, she couldn't really tell how she knew this, but she suspected that the red string which connected them allowed her to feel his emotions. His pain and sadness tore through her consciousness, and she felt miserable that she couldn't stop him hurting.

It was when he was resting, sleeping one night that she heard him whisper her name. Without even realising it she was moving towards him, reaching towards him - she frowned. Her fingers went straight through him.

She looked down at his shivering body and felt herself being pulled closer until she was beside him. She wrapped her conciousness around him and tried to let him feel her presence through their connection. To let him know that she was there and that she loved him.

She wasn't sure if it worked but he soon stopped shivering and his breathing returned to normal once more.

That had cost her though. When the sun rose and she felt the warmth surround her, her conciousness disappeared once more. When she returned it felt as though a long time had passed and he was even more depressed than when she had last seen him.

Through willpower alone she forced herself to become stronger, every moment was spent alternatively conserving energy and forcing herself to store more. When she felt her strength reach a certain level she would push her conciousness out. It was hard work, and it quickly drained her but when her conciousness reformed her body felt more solid, though she still couldn't touch him.

She also began to remember things. Beyond her name, beyond her age, she began to see images flash in front of her, images of him looking at her and smiling, and of other people, she couldn't place them - yet, but they were also important, also a part of who she was.

She kept going, kept testing the waters, testing her abilities and finally felt herself become complete again. It was only then, that she could look up in amazement at her body and the words formed in her mind, in her mouth.

"Ron."

"Ronald - Weasley..."

"My Ron..."

It was like someone had breathed air into her body and all her memories suddenly flooded back. It was intense and it hurt but oh so worth it. She felt tears dripping down her face and she knew that if Ron could see her he would laugh at how ridiculous she looked.

That gave her pause. She was confused.

Why couldn't he see her?

Why was she being dragged along behind him?

Why...why was he so sad all the time?

She felt pain then. A stabbing shooting pain through her head. Something was shredding her insides, cutting at her chest, her heart and was slicing through her head.

She didn't know when she was able to finally reform again but when she did she remembered everything.

And Merlin, it hurt so much.

* * *

Hermione awoke to find Ron shivering on the ground beside her.

She reached over and placed a hand on his head. He stilled and his breathing returned to normal.

A sigh escaped his lips along with her name.

A brief smile crossed her lips.

"Oh Ron," she sighed, "Why are you here? Why are you alone?"

She felt a cold sensation run up her spine and she spun around.

She could feel something watching her from the darkness. Her instinct to protect Ron kicked in and she stood up to search for whatever it was. She didn't really know what power she had, but whatever energy and strength she could harness would be used to protect him. She wouldn't ever let anything hurt him.

Her eyes fell to the sleeping face at her feet. He looked like a child sleeping so innocently and so calm, in those moment she forgot that he was going through so much pain.

This was exactly the opposite of what she had wanted.

She was a fool to think she could control the power of the Ancients. She knew it was dangerous but she and Ron seemed to have survived the bonding ceremony, she just assumed that she would be able to handle the old magic now running through both of their bodies. She just had to tap into that ancient power, just had to use enough of it to confuse anyone who would try to read her mind.

It hadn't even been that complicated a plan.

She just wanted a way to shield her memories from Umbridge's veritaserrum torture session or from Snape's ability to read her mind. They had never really been able to figure out how he did it but when you looked into his eyes it was like he could see all the thoughts in her mind. She had been able to shield herself in the past by working with the Weasley twins to develop a candy which would react with the ingredients of veritasserum to make a person feel a giddy sensation, they wouldn't be able to talk properly but neither would Umbridge or her Inquisitorial squad be able to get the truth out of them either.

As for Snape. Since no one really know what he was doing, she had been developing a means of placing mental walls around her mind, she hadn't succeeded though. On her last interrogation before she was injured in the Shrieking Shak, when Umbridge was still a Ministry advisor and investigator, Snape had been present when she was called to give evidence against Sirius Black. She gave up putting up mental barriers and instead reverted to the basic technique Ron had suggested and to which she had scoffed. She began singing songs in her head.

This seemed to irritate and confuse Snape. But it worked, he wasn't able to get anything from her and though Umbridge seemed especially irate with her, there was nothing she could since the Veritasserum wasn't working either - so they just assumed that whatever she was telling them was the truth.

She knew however that they would need a better plan next time.

Perhaps Umbridge was growing suspicious but Hermione noticed that her interview with students seemed to progressively get longer and longer. Harry had started to get worried then.

The Weasley twins had told them that the candy reaction would only last an hour at most. If Umbridge pushed the interviews beyond that time, the person being interviewed wouldn't be able to resist her questioning without strong willpower.

They had planned to figure it all out during their summer holidays after third year but then the Shrieking Shack happened.

"No don't eat that its poisonous," she chided seeing Ron reach for some berries on a nearby bush.

She knew he couldn't hear her but she found herself talking to him more and more. It gave her something to do and allowed her sift through her thoughts, like figuring out how to get back to her body and to get Ron back to his family.

"I told you its poisonous," she said slapping his hand in annoyance.

Her hand went through his but she noticed him drop the berries all the same before turning and walking off in another direction.

She frowned at the discarded berries before following after Ron.

One night as she was sitting beside a sleeping Ron, watching the embers of the campfire, she felt that strange sensation on the back of her neck once more. she stared around the clearing and jumped up at the sight of a white wolf walking towards her.

"Get away from him," she growled.

The wolf stopped mid-step and turned its head to look at her.

"The boy is weak."

Hermione's mouth fell open.

"D-d-did you just talk?" she stuttered.

The wolf moved forward once more but she stepped between it and Ron.

"I will not harm the boy, my orders were to check up on him."

She ignored the fact that a wolf was talking to her and did her best to prevent it moving towards Ron. The wolf ignored her though and moved over to look at Ron. It sniffed at his face then looked back up at her.

Hermione gritted her teeth knowing full well why it was staring at her. She was naked after all. She narrowed her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. It wasn't her fault her clothes didn't follow her into whatever hell she had woken up in.

"Who sent you?"

The wolf made a weird weezing noise and if she didn't know better she would have thought it was laughing at her.

Without another word it turned and walked back into the forest disappearing almost as quickly as it had appeared.

Hermione huffed and sat down. She frowned at the fire.

'Why would a wolf be watching over Ron?'

The next day as Ron wiped a hand over his sweaty forehead Hermione replayed the events of the night before in her mind.

She looked up at Ron, he was grumbling something under his breath.

"We should go home," she suggested hoping he could hear her.

He stopped mid-step and her heart leapt to her throat. Had he heard her?

But the next moment he was walking again, shaking his head.

A bird flew across the sky above them. She hadn't noticed it at first but as the sun began to set she looked up and saw it was still flying above them. She frowned.

It was almost as though the animals were attracted to Ron, or to her, she wasn't sure which.

She saw Ron stop and rest against a tree, he drank some water and she pondered the significance of animals following them.

"Do you think perhaps its connected to the bonding ceremony? or perhaps the deal I made with Branwyn?"

She looked down and saw Ron was sleeping now.

A fond smile crossed her lips and she sat down beside him resting her head on his shoulder.

"I never thought I would actually miss you calling me a bossy know-it-all," she whispered her throat tightening as the words left her mouth.

"At least we're together."

* * *

Hermione awoke to find a wolf staring at her.

She screamed and the wolf's head backed away as though her scream hurt its ears.

"What do you want now?" it took her a moment to realise it wasn't the same wolf, no this one was grey with black paws and ears.

This one wasn't like the white wolf, it seemed to look at her with disdain and didn't bother talking to her when it circled around Ron sniffing. Then without even a glance in her direction it walked off into the trees.

"Ron," she said shakily, "We really should get home, lets try to find a village or something close by tomorrow."

Ron mumbled in his sleep before his body slowly drifted to the ground and he began snoring.

She frowned at him.

"Your neck is going to kill you tomorrow," she sighed watching him sleep soundly.

As she had predicted, Ron kept rubbing his neck the following morning. They walked, her telling him off and him grumbling about how hot it was and how much his body ached from sleeping outside.

"Well you could just go home and stop all this nonsense," she chided him.

She really didn't understand why he was doing this. Though they were bonded she still didn't understand him, and she suspected that it would continue to be that way for the rest of their lives, if she ever managed to get her body back that is. She tried not to think about where her body was and what Branwyn was doing to it.

She had a sickening feeling one day that maybe thinking she was dead, her family and friends had buried her. Maybe that was why Ron felt the need to go off on his own.

"Or maybe," she thought aloud as they trekked through the forest as Ron complained about the heat, "You were like me, maybe you feel that if you keep walking like me we'd find each other again."

That thought warmed her heart and she reached out and touched Ron's arm.

He suddenly stopped but before she could even consider the possibility that he had felt her touch, he pulled out his water bottle and poured water on his face. Since she couldn't really feel the heat from the sun, she often forgot how hard it must be for him.

He stood back up, the bottle still in his hands and continued walking. He didn't walk far that day however and as the day wore on, he stopped once more, pulled his shirt off and wiped the sweat from his body. Hermione blushed and looked away. Not really sure why she should be embarrassed, it wasn't anything she hadn't seen before but she felt like she was invading his privacy by watching him undress himself without him even realising she was there.

She watched him sit back against a nearby tree.

"Just let me forget her for one day," Ron spoke aloud.

Hermione started and sat down across from him, waiting for him to continue, he looked up into the sky as he continued.

"One day is all I ask, enough for me to breath without hurting. Make it enough for me to live without feeling as though someone were squeezing the air out of my body or slowly twisting a knife into a festering wound."

Hermione watched in silence as Ron closed his eyes and after a moment he was asleep.

She reached out and touched his face tenderly.

"Oh Ron," she whispered miserably, "My Ron, I'm right here..."

She shifted her body forwards and rester her head against his chest. She looked down at the string from his chest as it lead towards her own.

"I'm here, I'll always be here, I'll never leave you. I won't let you go through this alone."

She saw he was slowly losing strength, each day she pleaded for him to go home, to find some place to rest. Her pleas remained unheard though and she could only suffer through watching him grow weaker with each day. She never left though, she vowed to remain with him and she would figure something out. She would get him home somehow.

"I'm probably going to die out here and she's still all I can think about, Merlin, I'm pathetic."

Hermione watched Ron in concern as he drifted off into another fitful sleep.

She stood up from the ground and walked into the forest.

"Are you there?" she called looking around at the trees surrounding her.

"I don't know who you are or what you want...but if you can help him..." Hermione clenched her fists at her own uselessness, "Please help him."

She felt the wolf before she saw it. The white wolf stared at her for a long time before following her back towards the clearing where Ron lay asleep.

The wolf sniffed at Ron's head and nudged his head to his side.

"I-Is he alright?" she swallowed nervously.

The wolf turned to her.

"In a few days he will come to help you," the wolf replied, "He is waiting for the right moment."

Hermione furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Who is he?"

"When the time comes, he will appear."

The wolf stared at her once more as though it was trying to read her mind and Hermione stared back. Then it turned and disappeared into the shadows.

The next night, the white wolf appeared again. Hermione waited as the wolf walked towards Ron. It was the first time it had shown itself to Ron, the grey and white wolf had been taking turns visiting Ron in the middle of the night but never while Ron was awake. She saw Ron's eyes widen and she felt the panic rolling off of him.

Ron pointed his wand at the wolf and it stopped directly in front of him.

"No chance buddy," Ron said to the wolf.

"Is it time yet?" she questioned the wolf.

It turned and walked towards her.

"Not yet," the wolf replied before looking back and Ron and walking off into the forest.

"Are you waiting for him to collapse in exhaustion?" she shouted at the wolf in anger.

Hermione sat beside Ron the next day as he poked at the campfire. He had finally seemed to be listening to her, either that or he was just acting upon survival instincts because he had spent the last few days searching for water. She hoped that if they followed the river they would find a village or town nearby. She told him that it wasn't a good idea to set up camp to close to the river since the water could rise in the middle of the night but he seemed to ignore that advice. So she sat in silence watching him poking at the campfire.

"Mind if I join you?"

They both jumped up off the log they had been sitting on when a voice spoke to them.

Hermione frowned at the man. He was wearing muggle clothing but every now and then he would change clothes into strange clothing, clothing almost like...

"Are you the one we've been waiting for?" she asked the strange man.

"Will you make sure he's safe?" she continued when the man did nothing other than smirk at her and sit down across from them.

She slowly sat down as well, watching the man carefully.

"Do...Do I know you?" Ron questioned the stranger.

Hermione looked from Ron to the man in front of her.

"You're an Ancient spirit aren't you?" she questioned the man.

He smiled at her and she heard a booming voice in her head causing her to cry in pain and hold her head in her hands.

"The men need to talk now little girl."

The next thing Hermione knew she was blinking awake, she panicked for a moment, disoriented and unsure where Ron was. She sat up and found him still sitting on the log staring at the fire, the man was gone but Ron still looked tense and she cursed the stranger for whatever he had done to her.

She moved over and sat down beside Ron.

'_To forget her.'_

She started and turned to look at Ron. He hadn't spoken but she had heard his voice. She watched him carefully.

'_Could it be so easy?_' Ron's voice echoed in her head.

She looked back at where the man had sat. Did he do something to her? Why was she able to hear Ron's thoughts now?

'_Easy enough for her to forget...why couldn't I do the same?...wouldn't hurt anymore than maybe...'_

She saw the conversation that Ron had had with the stranger flash through her mind.

"No!" she said aloud reaching out to grab Ron's arm to shake him but her hand went right through him.

"No Ron, don't give up, we'll figure it out...just give me a little more time...if we -"

She bit her lip completely lost.

"If we go home maybe the others could help us..."

She saw Ron kick a pebble at his feet, it skipped into the fire.

"Completely stupid," Ron said and Hermione wondered if he was talking about the stranger or about her.

She shifted closer to him and rested her head on her knees.

Hermione watched Ron cross the street and walk into the village.

* * *

She turned and walked around the forest. One hand on the string connected her with Ron so she make sure he was alright and her other fisted at her side.

"Where are you? Show yourself?

A puff of smoke and a man walked towards her.

"As much as I enjoy the human form, you are a few thousand years too young my dear."

Hermione stepped back when he waved a hand at her. She looked down and realised she was no longer naked but dressed in a simple blue dress, it looked like it was from the medieval period, with a red sash tied around her waist. She would thank the man but she was more concerned about what he had planned for Ron.

"Whatever it is you want, Ron won't fall for it."

The man smirked at her.

"Don't underestimate him," she continued when the man continued to watch her in amusement, "He's stronger than you think."

A long silence elapsed before the man finally spoke.

"Shall we make a wager on that little _girl_?" he said 'girl' as though it were a derogatory tone.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.

"I will not place bets on Ron's life!" she spat back.

Her anger and indignation seemed to amuse the man even more.

"I know who you are," she said seriously, "You're Efynsien, Branwyns' half brother."

Efynsien's eyes instantly darkened and the smile disappeared from his face.

"You have no right to speak her true name."

"Well seeing as how she's using my body to walk around these days, I think I deserve to use her true name don't you?"

A growl escaped Efynsien lips.

"You think you have known pain little _girl_?" These last few months will seem like paradise if you should cross me."

"I'm not afraid of you?" she shot back though she hated herself when she heard the fear seeping through her voice.

Efynsien was back to his cocky self and he looked down at her as though she were a bug a this feet.

"You seem to place too high a value on yourself _girl_," he sneered, "Boarn will do as I say."

"No he will not," she said through gritted teeth though she was shaking with both anger and fear, "I won't let you."

"And how will you stop me?"

Hermione glared at the man. He was right, she had little to no power in her present form. If Ron really was forced to do as he said she didn't know what she could do to stop him.

"I don't know," she finally admitted lamely, "All I know is that I will do everything I can to stop you hurting him."

"What makes you think I want to hurt him?" Efynsien replied that irritating smirk still on his face as he began walking around her like a shark circling its prey.

"If you're anything like you're sister you will find a way to get your way while doing the most damage to others around you."

Hermione felt herself thrown across the clearing.

She could only look up helplessly from the painful heap on the ground as Efynsien walked towards her.

"Never - insult - my l...my sister."

Hermione stared at him trying to push herself off the ground but he was stopping her moving somehow. It was a light a heavy weight was pressing down on her.

She felt the tug on her chest and knew Ron was coming closer. The weight suddenly lifted and she could breath again.

A predatory gleam sparked in Efynsiens eyes and he looked from her towards the village where Ron was. A smile spread across his face and his teeth were bared as though he were about to enjoy a feast.

He looked down at her.

"I always get what I want," Efynsien said before disappearing.

Hermione stood up from the ground and looked around but he was gone.

She considered his last words before she turned and headed towards Ron.

* * *

She watched Ron in concern.

He was breathing hard and was leaning against a nearby tree for support. She needed to figure out a way to communicate with him, she had to get him back home again.

"Time to collect on our bet."

Hermione turned to see Efynsein standing next to her.

"What do you want?" she glared at the man.

"Still think he won't take my offer?" Efynsein smiled nodded towards Ron.

Hermione turned in time to see Ron turn and run back to the village.

She saw everything happen in horrifying slow-motion.

Ron was running across the road. Efynsein held out his hands towards the road, clenched his fists and lifted his hand. A car suddenly swerved as though it had hit an invisible barrier and sped straight towards Ron.

"NO!" Hermione screamed.

She watched helpless as Ron was hit and his body flew up in the air before crumpling to the ground in a sickening heap. She ran towards him.

"RON!" she screamed but a hand on her arm stopped her from reaching him.

"What are you doing?" she tried to pull her arm from Efynsein's grip.

"Accept it little girl, you are powerless against me," Efynsein said completely serious, all trace of humour gone from his face, then the next moment he was gone.

Hermione spun around and saw Ron bleeding on the ground, a group of muggles surrounding him.

Their eyes met. Hermione started.

She opened her mouth to speak but she was suddenly surrounded in darkness. When she awoke she found herself standing in the clearing next to Efynsien as he talked to Ron.

'You bastard!' she wanted to say but found she couldn't speak. She reached up and grabbed at her throat. She glared daggers at Efynsien.

She knew he had done something to her.

She ignored her anger towards the man and turned her attention towards Ron.

She wanted to run to him, to do anything to help him. He looked so small, so broken and it hurt her to see him like that.

"I - I don't understand," Ron said after a moment and Hermione stared at him in confusion.

"But you will," Efnysien replied, "Now onto our deal."

"Tell me what is that you want?" Hermione stared at Efynsein, was this his plan all along? To make Ron weak from hunger, lack of sleep, sickness and to almost kill him so that he would have no choice but to agree to whatever deal he wanted?

"Oh yes, to forget your love," a laugh escaped the mans lips and he glanced in her direction and Hermione glared back at him.

Hermione turned and looked at Ron's face.

She bit her lip and tried to fight the tightening sensation in her chest.

"Ron," she breathed out reaching out a hand to touch his face, her fingers ghosted across his cheek and she closed her eyes against the image of her best friend, her strength so broken and weak and she was powerless to do anything to change it.

"I can do you one better," Efynsien continued from behind her and cut Hermione off before she went on a pity party, it wasn't her that was surffering, it was Ron. She would figure out how to get back into her body but for now she needed to stop this phsychotic ancient being getting his hands on Ron.

Hermione turned and stood up to face Efynsien, she saw his lips twitch before his attention returned to Ron.

"I can make you forget pain, forget your mortal life in fact. Would you like that little one? To forget pain and suffering? To be at peace."

"What do you want in return?" Ron said in response.

"No!" Hermione shouted at Ron moving to knell beside him, "No Ron, don't give up, he's going to trick you just like Branwyn did to me."

She heard Efynsein chuckle from behind her and she turned to find him watching her amusement.

"Perhaps you are smarter than I gave you credit for," Efynsien chortled and she wasn't sure if he was talking to her or to Ron.

"Or I just listen to smart people," Ron mumbled in response.

Hermione felt that familiar tugging at her chest.

"Ron," she said in a soft voice reaching out and cursing that foolish spell she had cast so many months ago that had cast them both into darkness and despair. She just wanted to keep him safe but she only ended up making everything worse.

And now, he was sitting in some desolated forest, the life draining from him with each drop of blood gushing from his wounds.

She cursed and cursed again that choice she had made to do things her own way. She cursed Ron ignoring her arguments that she should go back to Hogwarts with him. She cursed a million different things but it all came down to this.

Ron. Her brave Ron, the person who helped her through her pain and injuries was no in the exact same position she had been when the Shrieking Shack collapsed buried her alive.

She thought she was dead for sure but that flicker of hope remained, that knowledge that Ron would never give up on her. As she looked at Ron she realised that he didn't have that hope. He thought...he thought she was gone. He had no idea that she had clawed her way back from the from death and hell itself to be with him again even if he could never see her, never know that she was with him, would always be with him.

"And all I want in return," Efnsien smiled gleefully down at them both, "Is to use your mortal body."

Ron struggled and pushed himself up against the tree.

"What?" Ron said his face contorted in pain and disbelief at what he was hearing.

"I have no mortal vessel," Efnsien said disappearing and reappearing around the clearing as though to prove his point, "Yes, I can use the body of these wolves and other wild animals but mortal flesh is beyond my power, unless of course it is offered willingly."

That explains the animals that were following Ron and I through the forest Hermione realised. So this had started a long time ago, Efynsien had simply been waiting for the right time to present himself to Ron.

Hermione remembered what the wolf had told her days earlier.

"When the time comes, he will appear."

"What are your plans for Ron" She questioned Efynsien but his attention remained on Ron.

"And what do you plan to use my body for?"

Hermione held her breath, at least she would if she could as she waited for Efynsien to explain his magical being in front him simply smirked and appeared in front of him. Ron shifted back but hit the tree behind him.

"I have not lived young Beorn, I have watched mortal men be born, live and die a thousand, million times over, each more wretched and disgusting and so gloriously tortured. I want to see the world, smell the fresh air, taste life as you mortals do."

"Will you kill anyone?" Ron questioned.

Efnsien stood up and walked around the fire.

"You have my word that I will not kill any mortal man in my travels."

Hermione narrowed her eyes at the man, she could practically see all the calculations he was doing in his head. It was there, beneath the smile and dark eyes. He was planning something and was going to use Ron's body to achieve that goal.

"You will not kill any mortal man, woman, child or other person?" she heard Ron continue from behind her and she gritted her teeth.

"Is that really all you want?" Hermione questioned the man.

A smile played on Efnsien lips and he nodded his head at her.

"You have my word little Beorn," he addressed Ron now.

Hermione knew he wasn't lying but he wasn't tell her the trut either. She clenched her fists in anger. She could hear the resolve in Ron's voice breaking and she knew he would take the deal. She knew if he didn't he probably wouldn't last long with his injuries.

She had two choices. She could let Ron die alone without his family or friends and never knowing how much she cared about him and that she had never left his side. Or she could stay beside him while Efynsien repaired his body and mind as he promised, maybe she could use the ancient's knowledge to figure out how to get back to her body and make sure that he wasn't going to do anything that would put Ron in danger.

"How long will you ..." Ron trailed off not sure how to phrase what he wanted to ask the man.

"Shall we say six of your mortal months?" Efnsien replied.

"Six months, that's all you want?"

Efnsien gave Ron an amused look.

Hermione tried to recall the conversation she had had with Branwyn the night the spell had backfired. She hadn't known that it would be Branwyn that would show up. The spell was just meant to invoke the ancient spirits of the land to protect herself and Ron while they were back at Hogwarts. But the woman had told her that there was price for everything. Druids relied on nature and nature had to remain balanced for the magic to work.

She didn't really understand and she hated herself for being so reckless.

Ron had interrupted the magic and whatever Branwyn was going to do went to hell around them.

"And if I should die during those six months or you kill someone?" she heard Ron question.

She stared at the man supsciously.

"Unlikely," Efnsien replied before adding, "Should anything occur to break our deal, than I promise to protect your mortal body and ensure your safe return to the ones you love, or who love you, until the bargain is met."

"If I do this...will you give me six months of peace?"

"I will do as you say."

"I won't...remember her?"

Hermione felt the tears drip down her face as she watched Ron make a deal with a man he shouldn't trust. Did he hate her that much? She didn't think he could hate her as much as she hated herself but apparently he would do anything to forget her now. Her chest clenched painfully and she bent her head to rest against Ron's chest.

"It is as you say," she heard Efynsien continue.

"I won't feel this way anymore?" Ron questioned, Hermione reached up and held onto Ron tightly.

"It will be so."

"Then we have a deal."

He saw the mans eyes glow golden before the eyes appeared in front of Ron, his laughter echoing around the forest. Hermione could only look down at Ron who was now laying unconcious at her feet.

It was hours later before he finally stirred and Hermine held her breath though she didn't need air in her current state it was a force of habit.

"Ron?" Hermione questioned when she saw Ron's eyes blink open..

He turned his head to the side from where it lay on the floor of the forest clearing. The sun was slowly rising in the distance but he could still see the stars glittering in the sky. He looked at the girl, bushy haired, fair skin with a dash of light freckles on her cheeks. A smirk rose to his lips.

"Sorry love," he said chuckling and sat up off the floor, "Ron's not home at the moment."

Ron, no Efynsien sat looking over his new body. Hermione felt sick watching him examine Ron's body and she wished she could had her wand with her but then...she realised she would be hurting Ron.

"If you think -"

"Now," he said cutting her off before she could continue, "where do mortals go to find some ale?"

"You're underage!" she shouted back instantly.

Efynsien head fell back in laughter.

"My dear little girl," he said reaching over and patting her head like she really was a child, "I am almost as ancient as the earth itself."

She frowned.

"Though that may be techically true, Ron isn't," she folded her arms watching him reach down and dig some of the earth up from the floor and craddle it in his hands before letting it fall between his fingers.

"Oh yes," he replied as though he really wasn't listening to her at all, "Well that's not going to be a problem for me."

He moved to stand up but instantly stumbled back.

He cursed in a language she couldn't understand before collapsing to the floor. The two wolves came over and nudged at him as though urging him to try again. He waved them off and they stepped back watching him obediently.

"I suppose I will need to repair this fragile body," Efynsien said after a moment before he began to take Ron's clothes off.

"What are you doing?!" she said indignantly turning away to give Ron, the real Ron some privacy.

"Clear the leaves away," Efynsien ordered from behind her and she glanced over her shoulder to see the two wolves follow his orders, she quickly glanced away again when she saw the now very naked Ron move into her line of vision.

"Why are you naked?" she said again she knew she would be blushing if she was in her body right now.

When she didn't get a reply she slowly turned around and found Ron's asleep on the forest floor on the patch of earth that was cleared of leaves and debris. Curious she stepped forward but one of the wolves, the grey one stepped forwards and snarled at her.

"She can't hurt me even if she wished it," Efynsien replied and she shuddered at hearing some stranger speak in Ron's voice.

The wolf stopped snarling but remained in his sentry position watching over his master.

She knelt down on the ground.

"You need to be touching the earth," she thought aloud, "So your energy comes from the earth...Is that how you're going to heal Ron?"

No response.

Hermione sat beside Ron's sleeping form.

* * *

Hermione hadn't really meant to do it. When they were both sleeping their bond was stronger. She had started to wake up in Ron's dreams. She realised after a while that she could move around in his mind. It was like a labrything of hallways and rooms. Some were barred shut and she kept away not wanting to invade Ron's privacy.

Her favourite room which she had stumbled upon by accident was a memory from Ron's childhood. Nothing special really but she loved it because everything about it was just so Ron.

He looked around six or seven, running around the field of The Burrow broom in hand as he chased after Ginny every now and then getting her by surprise and pulling on her pigtails before disappearing into the overgrown grass. Hermione sat on the grass watching him running, his mouth open in an adorable smile as he laughed.

Ginny sped past her shouting that she would make him regret his constant teasing of her. Her angry face suddenly changed into one of surprise when she tripped on the root of the large apple tree that Hermione was leaning against.

Ron appeared from the bushes at the sound of his sisters surprised cry. Hermione saw tears form in the young girls eyes as she sat on the ground staring at her scraped knee. Ron was beside her in an instant.

He looked at the injury as seriously as though Ginny had broken a bone.

He looked from the bloodied knee to his sisters face as a tear fell from her eyes. A look of such affection and tenderness crossed Ron's face and he reached over to ruffle his sister's head.

"I'll get mum," he said standing up and began to head towards the house.

Suddenly two figures tackled Ron and tickled him mercilessly. Fred and George continuing tickling Ron and until Ginny limped over.

"Go on sis," Fred said gleefully.

"Yeah we got him right where we want him."

Ginny put her hands on her hips and frowned at the twins before turning round and shouting towards the house.

"Mum I've found Fred and George, didn't you want them clear the attic?"

Both boys shot up off of Ron and disappeared into the fields.

"Traitor!"

"Unsportsman like behaviour little sis!" could be heard from somewhere in the distance.

Hermione smiled and watched as the little five year old Ginny helped Ron up.

Ron looked at her sheepishly realising that his injured sister was helping him and his face bloomed with colour.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"Now you have to teach me to fly on a broomstick okay?" Ginny said a hint of mischief in her voice, knowing full well that Mrs Weasley would go mental if she heard that her six year old daughter was flying a broomstick.

Ron smiled at his sister.

The image froze and she turned. A door had suddenly appeared just behind the two kids. Hermione frowned. This had never happened before. She stood up from her seat under the apple tree and headed towards the, with a slight push it fell open and she stepped inside.

"Cwealm!" Efynsien screamed leading his through the small village.

He swung his sword expertly in his hand lopping off heads as he ran ahead of his men.

He grabbed the hair of woman who had tripped and was attempting to run and hide from the soldiers attacking the village. There was no where to run, the men were already setting the small straw houses a light and the screams of people running for their lives or having their lives taken filled the air. The stench of blood and death surrounded Efynsien.

"Ollamh oidhe -"

It took her a moment but Hermione realised that she could understand everything Efynsien was saying, maybe it was because she was inside his head she didn't really know she could only stare in horror as Efynsien raised the struggling womans face to his own.

"I am the Master of Death," he spoke in a low growling voice, "I will choose how you will all suffer -"

Hermione closed her eyes but it was too late, she had already seen him slice the womans head off. She heard the dull sound of the woman's headless body drop to the ground. She felt bile in her throat and knew that if she could she would probably be throwing up right now.

"DEATH!" Efynsien shouted flicking the blood off his sword before throwing the woman's decapitated head at the feet of a man presumably his wife.

"Come, join your wife."

Hermione jolted and suddenly felt herself being pushed and pulled and when she looked again she was standing on a hill overlooking a lake. She walked towards the tree when she heard someone singing. An almost etheral voice in the same strange language Efynsien had been speaking, but rather than the violent cries of battle this voice was soft and warm and -

Hermione stopped when she realised what tree she was standing under. It was the whomping willow but rather than beat the two figures underneath it, it appeared to be swaying to the sound of the womans signing voice.

Hermione crept forward and stilled.

A woman sat in a green gown, her red hair braided on both sides of her head and a wreath of flowers sat on her head. Her skin glowed white like the moon and her dark green eyes reminded Hermione of a still and untouched forest lake almost as though the woman was just as untouched by human concerns or fears.

The ethereal beauty of the woman and her striking eyes weren't what had caught Hermione's attention however, it was the young man who lay in the woman's lap sleeping.

He was covered in blood as though he had just come from battle and he clenched his sword in one hand as though prepared to attack but he was asleep. He was moving around fitfully as though he were having a bad dream and only the woman's singing seemed to calm him.

The woman swept the black hair out of his face and Hermione stepped back in shock.

Efynsien.

A younger version of the one she had just seen but there was no doubting the strong features which she could only adequately describe as something akin to a greecian figure. She couldn't ignore the fact that the sharp jawline was splattered in blood nor could she miss the black druid symbols carved into his arms and hands, the same hands that had or would hold a helpless woman's head as she screamed before killing her.

She finally managed to rip her eyes away from the sleeping figure of Efynsien. Slowly her eyes lifted to the face of the woman looking tenderly down at the blood covered man on her lap as though he were not a monster who would kill without mercy.

"Branwyn," the name escaped her lips before she realised it.

The man's eyes flew open and his eyes locked onto hers.

Hermione felt herself thrown backwards, the image disappearing from her sight. When she next opened her eyes she was laying on the forest floor. She turned her head slightly and saw Ron beside her moving around as though struggling in a nightmare of his own.

"Ron?"

Ron eyes suddenly flew open and he looked up at Hermione. Her heart jolted, there was a spark of recognition in his eyes.

His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to call her name, instead he went into a coughing fit.

He struggled to lift himself up, he didn't succeed and fell to the floor this time on his side before he coughed some more and them threw up. He was horrified at the blood he tasted in his mouth and collapsed once more to the floor.

His eyes turned to Hermione in pain.

He wanted to say so much to her.

"Sshhh," she said trying to comfort him, "I'm here, I've always been here...I'm not leaving you again," he saw tears falling down her face and he tried to lift a hand to wipe them away but was horrified to see his hand go through air.

"Well now this is interesting."

Hermione looked up to see Efynsien standing above them.

"Please help him," she pleaded.

He scoffed at her.

"Help? You're the one who went sneaking around my head, "I got the impression I wasn't wanted, so I simply let you have what you wanted."

"I don't want this," she shouted back at him looking down at Ron struggling to breath and watching her with desperate eyes.

"Please," she began to sob, "Please stop this. I'll do whatever you want."

That seemed to be exactly what he had been waiting to hear because Efynsien instantly faded and Ron's body stilled.

Ron turned and smiled up at her.

He sat up and wiped the blood from his mouth.

She watched him horrified as she realised that it had all been an act.

"That wasn't Ron at all was it?"

Efynsien gave her Ron's lopsided smile and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Don't do that," she said through clenched teeth, "Don't pretend to be him."

"It's so easy though," he laughed, "He's not exactly a complex man is he."

Hermione flew straight threw him when she tried to hit him. He laughed at her attempt to hurt him and stood up from the ground dusting himself off.

"I had to do something. It's starting to get on my nerves. This whole thing," he waved around them and it annoyed her yet again how much he was borrowing from Ron's mannerism and voice, "Where you follow me around like a lost pup. Watching my every move and waiting for me to slip up so you can get your hands back onto your mortal lover."

"What are you going to do to him?"

Efynsien gave her an shocked look but she wasn't buying and he smirked at her.

"I am going to have some fun," he finally answered her, "And you, little _girl_, are going to come with me."

Before she could even figure out what he meant she found herself surrounded in darkness. For a moment she panicked and thought she was back in that strange purgatory that she had been sent to when she was ripped from her body. She didn't know if she could endure that lonely place again.

Suddenly a small shaft of light shone on her face and she saw Efynsien staring at her from the other side of iron bars. She ran to where he was ready to attack him but she hit a wall, not it was a door. She realised suddenly that she was in a prison.

"Stay in here like a good little _girl_ while I go have some fun."

"You can't keep me locked up in here, wherever here is."

"Firstly, I do whatever I want and secondly, I can't have you wondering around my head now that you figured out how to connect to Ron's mind through your bond."

"Afraid of the secrets I will uncover?" she shot back to her surprise the smile disappeared from Efynsien's face.

Instead of replying he simply pulled down the metal window drowning her in darkness once more.

Hermione banged and kicked the door a few times in anger before sliding down to the floor and hugging her knees to her chest.

* * *

Hermione stood beside Efynsien on the footpath.

They had been travelling for days now. At first she thought Efynsien was on one of his strange missions again, visiting old battlefields and putting the spirits of the land to rest. It all sounded very benign and she couldn't believe that the same man who delighted in starting pub room brawls and laughing as his magic caused people to suddenly attack each other for no reason was the same one who spent days simply laying on the earth without speaking a word.

She had wondered how he had gotten the pub owners to serve him drinks but she saw that first hand when she followed him into a pub. He walked straight up to someone without hesitation and said,

"Give me your drink."

The person eyes would glaze over and they would hand over the bottle or whatever was in their hands as though they were compelled to follow his orders. No one seemed to question his presence either and when she had finally asked him he looked at her as though she was incredibly slow.

"I ordered men into battle," he explained taking a large gulp of beer, "I know how to make people do what I want."

"And it had nothing to do with the power you have?"

He smiled smirked at her before sending her back into her prison cell.

That same man who ordered two friends sitting beside him to fight each other to the death, was also the same may who was laying on the ground without a care in the world.

"Those men from last night," she had begun to question him but he seemed to anticipate her question.

"They didn't kill each other, those mortals you call police officers pulled them apart. I lifted the magic as they left with the authorities. Besides, even if they did kill each other it doesn't void my deal with your Beorn. My promise was that _I_ would not kill anyone, I never said anything about other people killing each other for my amusement."

"You disgust me," she spat back, "Those men have family, friends, they have a life, they don't exist for your amusement.

Efynsien simply shrugged off her comments and went back to resting on the ground. She couldn't' understand it, how he could just lay there arms outstretched a strange smile on his face as though he was talking to an old friend.

The next time he let her out of her prison cell they were on a large open field. The clouds were dark and ominous above her. She found Efynsien laid out on the ground once more. He had stopped stripping his clothes off but it still was odd watching him during those times.

When she finally asked him what he was doing he rolled his eyes at her and told her that ancient magic was connected to the earth, to the ancient spirits of the land. He was using their magic to heal Ron's body so he had to do something in return.

"What do you do for them?" she questioned genuinely curious.

He eyed her spuriously as though expecting any moment for her to pull some trick on him but instead she just continued watching him. He finally sighed and explained.

"Land that has seen battles, land where men have died in horrible torturous ways, that leaves a mark on the earth, like a scar that cannot be healed."

"And how do you heal it?" she questioned.

He laughed at her, not mocking but as though she had made him remember some old joke.

"I was sent to battle at the age of twelve, I have seen battles, I have seen men chopped down, legs, arms and head littering the ground as you walked begging every moment for it to end and at the same time thanking the gods that you have not joined your fallen comrades."

He was silent for a long time and his expression changed, became darker and his eyes became cloudy as though he was reliving those long forgotten battles again.

"I talk to the spirits," he continued touching the grass at his side, caressing it as though it could respond to his touch, "I tell them to rest, to let the earth claim them. Sometimes they fight me, curse and pull their weapons on me, some try to run but it is pointless. They all must return to the earth one day."

"So you clear away the bad spirits and bad energy that remain after battles...and in return the earth gives you power?"

Efynsien suddenly shot her a look and narrowed his eyes at her.

She didn't even have a chance to protest before she found herself locked away in her little prison again. She would sometimes be locked in there for weeks and Efynsien would only let her out when he was bored or when he was healing Ron's body.

* * *

"Where are we going?" she asked following along beside Efynsien as they walked through a quiet suburban neighbourhood.

Efynsien didn't reply. He was frowning and was muttering in his strange language again. When he was like that she knew she wasn't going to get anything out of him. She tried to talk to him as much as he allowed, she squirrelled those pieces of information away and only take them out when he trapped her inside Ron's head. She would use the time imprisoned wisely trying to connect everything together, trying her best to remember all the battle strategies Ron would prattle on about while they had played chess at Shell Cottage. She wished she had listened to him better.

Efynsien suddenly slowed and she looked up.

Hermione's eyes widened as she recognised the street that they were walking along, the large oak trees lining the footpath like an old friend welcoming her back.

"This is my home," she said breathlessly when they both stopped at the house on the end of the row of neat little houses.

Her heart ached to go inside, to see her parents.

"Can I get back inside my body?" not realising she had said this aloud she saw the expression on Ron's face become even darker.

He didn't say anything to her though and they both stood on the footpath staring at the house.

She drank in every detail, her childhood memories filling her up the closer she moved to the house.

Suddenly she felt herself being pulled back, she turned and scowled at Efynsien but stopped when she saw the surprised look on his face.

"Branwyn," he whispered.

Hermione turned around and saw herself walking out of the house and towards the footpath where they both stood.

Was that her? Was Branwyn inside her body right now, could she see her?

Maybe she would help her get back into her own body, they could fix everything. Her heart raced and was her face was beaming as she watched her other self walk straight towards her. She had a trash bag in one hand and was just about to place the rubbish in the bins on the footpath when she caught sight of them.

Hermione opened her mouth to speak but she was cut off.

"Hello," Efynsien said looking at the girl standing in front of them like a starving man finally able to eat his last meal before death.

Hermione watched the girl in front of her look at Efynsien slowly and suspiciously.

"Hello," she replied after a moment, "Can I help you with something?"

As though someone has dunked a bucket of ice cold water on him Efynsiens face suddenly became angry and he snarled before spinning around and walking off across the street.

"Wha-wait!" she called after him, turning around to see her other self watching him walk off before shrugging and placing the rubbish in the bin.

"Branwyn?" she said hopefully but the girl simply turned and walked back inside the house.

"She can't see me," she realised her hope fading.

She bit her lip and turned to see Efynsien walking down the street, back at her house and then making her decision ran after Efynsien.

"What happened? Why did you leave? We could have had her help us!" she said as she ran after him.

"She doesn't even know who she is," he spat not bothering to look back at her.

"But -"

He waved his hand and she was suddenly plunged back into the black. He had put her back the prison in Ron's mind.

If Branwyn didn't know who she was, couldn't even see Hermione than how the hell would she get back into her own body?

* * *

Hermione felt dizzy and disoriented as the room spun back into focus. She was back in the infirmary, the ghostly figure of Hermione looked at her in concern.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded though regretted it instantly as she felt quite nauseous now.

"Were those your memories?"

"Yes."

Hermione looked at the girl in front of her.

"So, you're attached to Ron, not me?"

"Um...sorry to interrupt..."

Both she and the ghost-Hermione turned to look at Harry who had spoken up.

"But...would you mind telling us who you're talking to Hermione?"

She found herself facing the confused and slightly frightened faces of Harry and Ginny.

"You kinda blanked out for the longest time," Ginny added, "Are you feeling alright?"

Hermione licked her lips wondering if she should just confess what was really happening. True, they would probably think she was nuts but then after everything that had happened today it couldn't get any worse, right?

She winced when those thoughts crossed her mind. She was pretty much begging something bad to happen but that had a tendency to happen regardless of what she did, so she didn't really have anything to lose.

Hermione sighed, looked up at ghost-Hermione who simply shrugged at her. Hermione turned back to her friends.

"Okay, this is going to sound nuts," she saw the shared looks between Harry and Ginny and could practically hear them thinking 'we kinda figured', "but, I can see Hermione."

Silence.

Harry sort of just stared at her for the longest time blinking slowly and Ginny just gaped at her.

"You...can...see..."

"Hermione," Hermione finished for Harry.

The pair turned to look at each other slowly.

"So," Ginny continued, "The whole thing about you not being Hermione is true?"

The girl seemed torn between happiness at finding her friend and hurt that the person she had been with for the past few months was not that very friend.

"No, I mean yes, sort of...merlin I don't know..." Hermione let out an annoyed puff of air.

She really didn't know how to answer that. Was she Hermione, was she just a shell left behind or was she really an ancient being who was possessing someone elses body. None of those choices really appealed to her. She knew however that she was eventually going to have to accept one of those realities and she just turned helplessly to the girl in front of her.

"You're really real then?"

"Afraid so," Ghost-Hermione replied almost as though she had heard exactly what Hermione had been thinking.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Harry questioned her after another silence descended upon the room.

Hermione just stared at him in response.

"Oh Hi, Harry, you know how I just got my memories back, well looks like their not my memories after all, also did I mention I've been seeing Hermione's ghost following me around the castle? Did you need me to wash those sheets for you?"

Harry opened his mouth to reply but then stopped himself.

Ginny however was looking pensive.

"But Hermione, you did tell me some time ago that you saw 'Hermione', merlin this is confusing can we give you both different names?"

"What? fake-Hermione and real-Hermione?" Hermione questioned not hiding the bitterness she felt.

"I didn't mean it like that," Ginny replied quietly.

"Sorry Gin," Hermione said in response, "its just hard you know, I thought I finally got over the whole memory loss thing, gotten over the fact that I'm in love with someone who loves someone else and now this? "

"But weren't you guys already figuring out that druid spell together?" Harry questioned, "Is it really hard to believe that you are in fact this Branwyn person."

"A spell is one thing," Hermione bit her lip pensively, "I thought perhaps I just performed a spell that had gone wrong and the parts of me that were Hermione were hidden away so even if Umbridge or Snape used legimens on me they wouldn't be able to see what happened at Shell Cottage...but..."

"I'm not Hermione at all...I'm just..."

Hermione felt her chest tighten and her breathing came in laboured gulps.

"Breathe Branwyn," ghost-Hermione said from beside her reaching over and touching her with a comforting hand but of course the hand simply went straight through her.

"I have to get out of here," Hermione said tearing her eyes away from the pitying eyes of the girl next to her and looking at her friends, "Please let me out of here."

She was grabbing at her chest now, and she began to feel faint as she continued to struggle to breath.

Ginny stepped forwards instantly but Harry grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Harry Potter get your bloody hands off me!" the girl replied swining her arm back and slapping Harry across the face.

"Ow...Ginny that hurt."

"Oh poor ickle-potter, look at Hermione! She's having a panic attack and you want to keep her locked up in there."

Harry continued to hesitate, but Hermione was no longer paying attention her vision began to blur and she gasped for air.

"But -" she heard Harry's voice echo around her before she collapsed.

* * *

Hermione awoke suddenly sitting up. She blinked and blinked again.

For a second she thought she had gone blind but then a flake of snow drifted past and landed on her nose and she realised she was outside in a forest. The white snow blanketed everything and she had the eerie feeling that she had been here before and though there was no one around she didn't feel afraid...in fact she felt at home.

She steadied herself and stood up from the floor, her legs sinking into the snow. She realised then that she wasn't wearing her maid uniform, she was wearing a very heavy and ornate dress. She spun around and looked at her clothes, if she would guess they looked similar in style to medieval clothes but older and strangely...oddly familiar. The long dark blue gown had tiny flecks throughout, on closer inspection she realised that they were in fact intricate little flowers using gold thread. Her fingers reached down and flattened down the dress, the long sleeves of her dress almost obscuring the slender pale fingers adorned with a gold ring with a square black stone in the centre.

She reached up when she felt something heavy press down on her head and realised that her usually messy brown hair had somehow changed into flowing red curls. She reached up and touched her head and lifted off the weight to discover she was holding a plain gold circle crown with intricate celtic symbols carved around the outside. She gaped at the crown then looked around her when she heard voices coming towards her.

She fell back when she was suddenly pushed back against a tree by a large animal.

It took her a moment to realise that she had been tackled by a very large, very white wolf. It was hard to make it out since the animal seemed to almost disappear into the scenery but the black eyes and pink tongue sticking out of its mouth allowed her to make out the creatures face.

"Wha -" was all she managed before the creature transformed and she found herself facing a smiling young man, "Welcome home Branwyn."

Hermione gaped at the man, the very naked man hovering over her.

He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips before giving her a cheeky grin and helping her up from the forest floor.

He seemed completely unfazed by the fact that he was standing in front of her completely naked as he slowly sunk into the deep layer of snow.

"Efynsien, honestly, you must learn to behave in a proper manner towards ladies, especially to royalty," she heard herself say before she knew what she was doing.

The young man smiled sheepishly at her.

"Of course Bran - I mean, Yes, milady," Efynsien then bowed low.

A huff of exasperation passed her lips before she giggled at him.

"Get some clothes on before Father sees you," she said walking past him to lead the way back to their castle home.

It was a long trek by modern standards but both she and Efynsien seemed to enjoy the walk. He had opted to change back into his wolf form though now and again he changed into an Owl or Swallow to fly about her and check out the path ahead. Sometimes he just transformed into a bluebird and sat on her shoulder singing to her. Brawnyn smiled and stroked his pretty feathers causing him to puff up his feathers before resettling himself and continuing to sing to her.

Hermione gasped when they cleared the forest and she found herself staring up at the castle in front of her. She was staring at Hogwarts castle, except it looked smaller and newer. It didn't have so many spires and towers, it was missing the long stairs that led to the lake and the Quidditch pitch but it was without a doubt Hogwarts.

She heard Efynsien chuckle from beside.

"You've been gone a week and you look like you haven't been home for years," he teased her now back in his human form and shrugging on a long wolf coat.

The image of the young man froze and ghost-Hermione stepped out from behind a tree. She stepped up to her and grabbed her hand.

"This way," ghost-Hermione said before they both ran through the snow.

At some point the white world disappeared and though she was tempted to turn back and look once more at that old ancient world where she had a home and people who loved her, she felt an urgency in Hermione's grasp as though their time was limited.

They suddenly stopped when they reached an iron wrought door.

"I can't get through alone," ghost-Hermione said, "help me open it."

Hermione looked at the door in confusion but she followed ghost-Hermione's instructions and they both placed their hands on the door and pushed until it gave way. They both fell through into a much darker world.

"What was that?" she whispered.

"When I performed that spell," ghost-hermione began ignoring her question, her figure a dark blob in front of her, "I only wanted to put up barriers in my mind, to sort of fence off memories that I didn't want anyone else to see."

"But that's not what happened was it?"

Ghost-Hermione shook her head.

"Come on, this way," she continued grabbing Hermione's hand once more.

"You were right when you thought that Ron interrupting the spell caused it to backfire, but instead of making me lose my memories, it was like my entire consciousness shattered into millions, billions of little pieces of glass and were scattered across the earth. I told you earlier that it took me a long time to piece myself together after Shell Cottage?

By that time it was already too late. Even if I wasn't aware of myself and was just pieces of floating glass, those pieces of glass were connected to Ron and it had a disestablishing effect on his mind. People aren't supposed to have two competing consciousness together in one mind but it wasn't so bad at first because Ron and I were already bonded."

She heard ghost-Hermione sigh.

"I thought we could balance each other out but it was harder on Ron and his conciouness, the thing that held together everything that is Ron started to seep away causing him to give into his darker instincts."

"Is that how Efynsien was able to get into his head and take over him?"

She could almost feel ghost-Hermione wince in front of her.

They reached another door and pushed once more, it was much harder but after a few moments the wooden door gave way.

* * *

Efynsien awoke the the sound of someone next to him. He sighed and cracked an eye open just to visually confirm what he already knew. Yep, he was right, it was that girl again.

He groaned and slowly, very slowly got up from the ground where he had been sleeping rather comfortably in fact. He wasn't like Beorn, he could survive sleeping out in the forest for weeks, months and in fact years - he had done so when he was alive, had to during long war campaigns. Had to prove himself as the bastard son of the King. He ripped his thoughts from his life so long ago and looked at the ghostly figure next to him. He yawned and gave the girl a glance over.

"What are you doing girl?" he said looking up at the sky and quickly calculating by the positions of the stars what time it was, and it was far too early to be awoken by this little witch again.

Hermione, as he was now accustomed to refer to her in his head, though she was still 'little witch' or 'little girl' whenever she did something amusing or to simply rile the girl up, was sitting beside him looking at him with that look.

He sighed and poked at the fire before plucking a few more pieces of wood he had cut earlier that evening and stoked the fire some more so that it would remain warm throughout the night.

He knew where this conversation was going, they have had it almost every night. He would be in the middle of preparing dinner, collecting water or simply enjoying the solitude when she would suddenly appear and demand he hurry up healing Beorn and leave his body already.

He had told her on many occasions that he didn't take orders, especially not from women. This riled her up some more, so much so that he was convinced she would start spitting fire but the anger used up all her energy and she ended up disappearing and returning to her little cage inside his or rather Beorn's head.

He ruffled his hair and yawned once more to emphasise just how bored he was with this whole thing when his hand stilled.

"What...what are you doing?" he said feeling a niggling of something in his side.

Hermione sniffled and looked up at him with red puffy eyes.

He felt his body tense and a rumbling inside that little locked cage where Beorn was supposed to be sleeping.

Efynsien looked up at the sky expecting his father or mother to be laughing down at him then turned back to look at Hermione once more.

"No," he said eyeing her suspiciously, "No."

She sniffed and wiped away a tear as it rolled down her cheek.

"What?" she said looking at him in confusion.

"Don't do that," he said in determination pointing at her eyes accusingly as though pointing at the culprit of his increasing discomfort would dispel whatever was the cause.

"I can't help it," she continued in a clearly affected voice as another tear threatened to fall down her face, "I miss Ron."

"I want Ron, my boyfriend back," she continued rubbing at her eyes now, "I want him back, I want us to fix things and I want us to be together, but you won't let me."

Efynsien gave her a disgusted look.

"Crying will do no good," He turned stubbornly away though he couldn't stop hearing the girl beside him crying.

"Look," he said after several minutes he felt his resolve slowly cracking, "even if I wanted to let Beorn out of his cage, his body and soul still needs healing."

He tried to not to let any hint of desperation into his voice, but then it wasn't his voice he was speaking with so he wasn't sure how much he had control over the sounds it made, "It's not easy healing his broken body while making sure he doesn't die while at the same time allowing the little mortal minds time to process everything that's happened. You may not realise this little witch but you did -"

He paused and flicked through the words in Beorn's mind that would allow him to translate what he wanted to say.

"Ah...you did quite a number on him."

Hermione was watching his face carefully.

"So how much time exactly would it take to heal his body and give him space to deal with everything that's happened?"

"I told him six mortal months but I think that was a bit of an exaggeration of my abilities, I feel that if I stopped for six months and did nothing but connect to the earth and heal then perhaps he would be as close to the way he was before you made your deal with my sister."

He rubbed his neck earning a quirk of an eyebrow from the girl at his side and he dropped the hand quickly. He knew it was a habit of Beorn's and he didn't want to give her the impression that her boyfriend was anywhere close to the surface as she seemed to think he was.

Hermione suddenly huffed and folded her arms.

"Alright," she said as though something significant had just occurred to her.

Efynsien stared at her before repeating, "Alright?"

Hermione turned to look at him like he was an idiot, which he had to admit was a new one for him. Then a smile graced her lips, that surprised him and he felt that strange niggling at his side again.

"Thanks," Hermione said before waving at him and disappearing. All traces of tears were gone from her face.

"Wha -" Efynsien managed before he stared at the spot that she had sat just a few moments before.

He heard a laugh of satisfaction and knew it belonged to the little witch.

He cursed in several languages before settling on English.

"Bloody, buggering little - "

She had tricked him.

Damn it all.

She had managed to get exactly what she had wanted from the beginning. She knew how long he was going to be in Beorn's body, what was required for him to completely heal the body he was possessing and damn it all to hell, she knew that he had locked Beorn in a cage similar to hers inside his head.

He punched the ground at his side in frustration.

"That little..." he managed before he felt himself begin to laugh.

It had been a very long time since someone had gotten one over him. So long in fact he didn't remember who or when it had been.

"Well played little witch, well played."

The image faded away and Hermione felt her ghostly doppelganger pull her across a large room to another door.

"What was that?" she questioned.

"Memories," ghost-Hermione explained, "We're in Ron's head right now. I've been stuck in Ron's head sine Shell Cottage and the walls between Ron and Efynsien are starting to break down. Quickly this way."

They stepped into what looked like a small underground tunnel. Ghost-hermione lifted up a burning torch from the wall and turned back to look at her.

"That memory, you understand what it means?" Hermione 's ghostly figure asked from in front of her.

"I'm not sure," she replied though she was starting to see what Hermione wanted to show her she still didn't think she had the strength and courage to do what the witch wanted of her. Not to mention accepting what she was seeing would also be to accept that once again she didn't know who she was but still had all the problems heaped onto her shoulders.

"Just a bit further," she heard Hermione say in front of her.

"So we're inside Ron's head?" she questioned feeling completely dumbfounded and disoriented.

Ghost-Hermione nodded in front of her.

"Yeah, but this is the path leading to where I'm..." Ghost-Hermione stopped and turned around to look at her, a pained expression on her face.

"When I saw what the effect of the spell had done to Ron I tried to fix it, I tried to build a barrier around my consciousness so that it wouldn't effect Ron anymore. But it was too late, and the absence of my presence seemed to make it even worse.

But by the time I realised all this, Efynsien had already taken over Ron's mind and he - he locked me up."

"If the walls are breaking down what will happen to Ron?" she questioned Hermione.

Rather than answer Hermione seemed to be looking back at her with something like pity and understanding that a girl her age shouldn't possess and yet she carries it with such ease that Hermione doesn't feel like she's being laughed at or mocked when the girl answers her question.

"You need to understand that even though I am trapped in here, I am still connected to my body and as the months have passed, the closer I am to my physical body, the stronger the bond between us has become."

"That's why I've been seeing you more often."

Hermione nooded her head.

"About Ron," she began when Hermione turned and started walking again.

"It's not what he sees, its what you see," the ghost-Hermione answered her long unanswered question. She was so sure she loved Ron, but maybe if what Hermione was saying was all true than maybe she just wanted to be like Efynsien. Have another chance at life, another chance to live and fall in love. Ghost-Hermione leaned forward as though to offer a comforting hand but she stopped when she realises that she couldn't touch the girl in front of her.

Hermione, the real Hermione seems to do that a lot, she seems a very physical person, not shying away from hugs or hand holding. It occurs to her then that she is not like that, she hugs her parents when she leaves them each year but she's not big on the physical intimacy. Perhaps its something she's carried with her from her past life?

That reminder that she's not really Hermione at all, that she's some ancient being who's possessing some other persons body just boggles the mind and makes her feel sick. But that didn't feel right either. She wasn't Hermione but she wasn't this person called Branwyn either, she was some strange hybrid of them both.

She looks up from her fingers clenching her skirt and sees Hermione's warm brown eyes looking at her patiently.

"Why are we different?" the words that have been on her lips for months finally leave her mouth and that alone feels like a weight has shifted from her shoulders and her chest.

The ghost-Hermione gives a crooked smile, so very similar to Ron's that she aches just a little inside.

"I love him," Ghost-Hermione replies simply, "I love him, I will always love him, I loved him from the first moment I met him though it took me a few years to realise it."

Ghost-Hermione shimmered slightly as a faraway look graced her features.

"It shapes who I am, what I've become and who I want to be," she continued that smile still playing on her lips as though she were remembering all her memories of Ron in her head as she spoke, "He has changed me more than he realises...he is the reason I never give up, the reason why I am still here fighting every moment, every second - because loving him, being loved by him - that's worth fighting for."

Hermione wiped a hand over her eyes both because she was tired and to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"I could spend days just watching him, learning about him, laughing at his silly jokes...I know I could spend the rest of my life with him and always be hungry for more.

He's the ultimate puzzle, the unanswerable magical problem that I just have to figure out. I will spend my days pouring over everything that is him and never grow tired."

"He never belonged to me at all did he," Hermione...no she wasn't Hermione, she was Branwyn...well whoever she was, she looked up at the Hermione standing in front of her.

She looked up at Hermione and realised that she didn't really need an answer because she knew it all along, "I wanted so much to be in love, to be loved..."

"I know," Ghost-Hermione, no the real Hermione spoke from in front of her, "It'll be alright, we just gotta figure out how to fix this."

"There's no way to fix this," Branwyn replied a mirthless laugh dying on her lips, "This is beyond fixing."

"Nothing is beyond fixing," Hermione narrowed her eyes at her, "Nothing that's worth fixing is ever beyond hope."

"What do I do?" she questioned Hermione helplessly.

"For now, we help Ron, we help Harry and we take down Umbridge and the Ministry if need be."

"Bit ambitious," she replied.

Hermione stopped and showed her a photo in her hands. She could see Harry and Ginny leaning over her unconscious body. They looked concerned and were lifting her up from the floor and into a nearby bed.

"What is this?" she questioned Hermione.

"I may be connected to Ron by my bond with him but that is still my body. I can see - I have been able to see everything you have seen over the last year, I have seen and experienced them with you.

And I can tell you one thing, you may have felt alone but you've always had family and friends."

It was at that moment that she really looked at her friends, because they were her friends, even if they thought she was someone else. They had been kind, caring and supportive of her. She made mistakes, she didn't do what was right and she didn't act like the Hermione they knew but she could see in their eyes that they trusted her, had faith in her and liked her - at least she hoped they did.

All this made her realise that she had been wrong all along. Maybe her true self, this - hadn't wanted to fall in love at all. Maybe what she had wanted was to be loved. And she was loved, she had made friends with people here at Hogwarts, Harry, Ginny, Neville, Anna, Lavender and Lena. She wasn't alone at all -

Hermione seemed to be reading her thoughts because when she looked up at the reflection of herself, the girl who looked so much like her and who she was so much like but so very different from smiled and something like determination and pride reflected in those eyes.

"Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it."

Hermione turned and Branwyn followed her into another room. Another memory.

* * *

**"Time to explore the mortal world more," he smiled with glee.**

**_He turned in time to see the little maiden's eye twitch at his statement. It still amused him how certain words could set mortals off, for this little girl, the very fact that he considered her a little girl seemed to grate on her nerves. He could see it all of course, he may be in a mortal body but he still retained his ancient powers, and the waves of black and red anger radiating towards him from the little child would be enough to knock one of his warriors back in the day. He lifted his eyes up and held the girls eyes, she didn't shake, just continued to glare at him._**

**_"Must we continue to have this argument every time I wake in the morning?" he questioned her finally folding his arms across his chest before flicking the messy red hair from his eyes._**

**_He saw her grit her teeth._**

**_"I need to speak to him," she said through gritted teeth._**

**_Efynsien simply yawned, both because the mortal body was still not rested properly and also because he was beyond bored of this demand from the little girl._**

**_"My name is Hermione," she said cutting through his thoughts._**

**_That was a surprise, but he didn't let it show. He simply analysed the little creature closely._**

**_"I am trapped inside Ron's head too, just because I haven't figured out a way to communicate with him directly doesn't mean -"_**

**_The chuckle vibrating out of his chest caused Hermione to narrow her pretty brown eyes at him. Pretty? Hmmm, appears as though Beorn's emotions can leak through the barrier I created in his mind. At the thought, he glanced again at Hermione. Perhaps he should simply push her to another corner and pack her inside, to be let out when he was bored or when the little Beorn needed -_**

**_Efynsien took a deep breath and did it again because he liked the feel of air filling the mortal's lungs._**

**_Hermione folded her arms across her chest and looked at him with equal parts disgust and contempt._**

**_"All tricks and lies," she said after a moment of mutual glaring, "I was a fool to believe your sister, I will not let you use Ron like a puppet."_**

**_That elicited a real laugh from him and he relished the feel of the laughter through his body._**

**_"Puppet?" he repeated the word slowly tasting it on his tongue before smiling at the girl in front of him, "And where is your puppet master little girl?"_**

**_That got him another blast of angry emotions but he flicked them aside without effort._**

**_"Curious that you would care so little for your sister," the little witch spat at him._**

**_He heard the birds in the tree above him screech before they fell dead to the forest floor. The little mortal girl stared at the dead creatures in shock. That caught his interest, her look of horror at how a spark of anger from him could cause animals to fall dead at his feet._**

**_"Time to return to your box little girl," he said before walking past the strange little witch. He felt her disappear back into Beorn's mind and he walked through the forest clearing, the trees and plants bending and swaying to clear a path for him as he walked. He hummed appreciatively and released a wave of affection for the earth beneath him._**

**_He could hear the little witch's screams of anger and indignation of being so quickly dismissed but he pushed her aside, not in a box as he had done to Beorn, not but he did quieten her screams so as to not disturb his mortal charge._**

**_Efynsien hands itched and he smiled as he felt the warmth of the rising sun caress the mortal's face. He walked out of the forest and smiled as he surveyed the large field in front of him, grass had grown wild and as he stepped into the field it reached up to his chest. He reached out both hand and caressed the plants as he walked through the field. The plants sent warm waves towards him and he smiled. He felt his companions join him some time later. His friends and fellow warriors who had fallen in battle with him so very long ago. They were not like him though, they could take only use the body of animals whereas he could occupy mortal men's body's. He thought perhaps it had something to do with the curse he had inflicted upon himself to save his sister so long ago but pushed the thought aside. It did not do to dwell on things long past. No, though he enjoyed this new mortal body, he still had to fulfill his duty and his promise._**

**_-But of course that doesn't mean you can't have a bit of fun in the mean time-_**

**_He chuckled upon hearing Peredurspeak. He was comforted by the fact that his wolf's old warrior spark remained alive all these years._**

**_"How about a hunt Peredur?" he said after a moment before sprinting across the field after a deer he saw in the distance, using his renewed power to propel him faster than humanly possible._**

**_The wind felt glorious in his hair and against his flesh. He heard the laughter echoing around him before he realised it was he that was laughing in delight and pleasure._**

Hermione was pulled away from the memory and through another door. The two girls walked in silence along the dark hallway.

Efynsien was her brother. He had been searching for her but for what purpose? Was he angry at her for how he died? Was he still bitter about their father's treatment of him or the way her brother looked down at him and called him names because he was only their half brother?

Hermione stopped and Branwyn realised they had reached the end of the hallway, they had reached the final door.

The tunnel led to simple black door, a small window allowed them to look inside. There was no light inside but there was flicker of movement.

She blinked at the next moment she was a lone in the tunnel staring at the eyes of Hermione looking back at her from the otherside of the prison door.

"I can get out sometimes but it takes a lot of my energy," Hermione's muffled voice said from behind the thick prison door, "I've used up all my energy helping you get this far. Please Branwyn you have to get me out of here and back into my own body."

"I don't know how," she replied desperately.

The lights behind them suddenly flickered and began to go out as a strong cold wind moved along the tunnel.

"He's too strong for me. You're the only person who can get through to him," Hermione's continued a panicked note in her voice as the darkness grew ever closer, "Here, take this."

Hermione pushed a key through the the bars of the prison door. She reached up and took the small ion key from Hermione's hands.

"It will help you remember," Hermione's voice faded into the distance and then the torch in her hand went out.

* * *

Branwyn awoke to concerned faces above her.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I think so," she said slowly lifting herself up from the bed, they had apparently let her out the circle forcefield when she felt unconscious.

"Can you still see Hermione?" Harry asked her from beside the bed, his arms folded across his chest both apprehension and concern reflected in his face.

She looked around her before shaking her head.

"She says she drains her energy every time she appears," Branwyn held her head and looked at both Ginny and Harry, "He's keeping her trapped, kept them both trapped inside his head."

They looked back at her in confusion.

"What happened to her during those months?" Ginny questioned her.

"Hermione...she didn't..." she took another deep breath and tried again.

"She died...or as close to death as a person can get. She brought herself back from death - walked through hell - walked the earth not knowing why she was doing it, not understanding what it was that was driving her forward...she endured pain, and unbearable loneliness but she never gave up because even if she couldn't understand it, couldn't put a name to it, she knew that there was something important she had to do, someone important waiting for her...

She went through all that because even if her mind, her body forgot, her soul, her heart could not forget...could never forget the person she loved.

She did it all for Ron...because she loved...loves Ron."

Silence followed her statement interrupted only when Neville suddenly burst into the room.

"Thank Merlin," Neville said gasping for breath, he looked like he had just a lap around the castle, he was sweating and breathing heavily.

"Whats wrong?" Harry's face instantly shifted and he looked at Neville seriously.

"Cho was nearly caught by one of inquisitorial squad on the way to the D.A. meeting," Neville explained through deep breathes, "Everyone's losing it though, first Hermione gets attacked and now this...its pretty bad."

Branwyn was out of the bed in an instant.

"Where's Ron?"

"I ran into him earlier, he's gone to the room of requirement to see if he can sort them all out," a nervous look passed Neville's face, "They're saying Lena's a spy. They want to -"

Branwyn didn't hear the rest, she was out the door and the others were close behind her.

They entered the Room of Requirement to find it in an uproar. The members of the D.A were split into groups across the room from each other. She really couldn't hear too much of what they were saying other than that they were arguing about something and she thought she saw some boys almost come to blows before their friends pulled them apart.

She spotted Ernie straight ahead of them, he was moving his arms around angrily and began pushing Cormac Mclaggan back. She saw Harry looking at the chaos in shock clearly sharing her thoughts.

'How had this happened?'

It was then that she noticed.

Leaning against the far wall, hands folded against his chest and a slowly forming smirk on his face was Ronald Weasley.

He was watching the D.A members breaking out into violent arguments and was doing nothing about it, his demeanour actually seemed to suggest...her train of thought broke off as she continued to watch Ron.

She didn't really like using mortal curse words but nothing else seemed appropriate at that specific moment, so she used the first ones that came to mind.

"Fucking Bastard."

* * *

**_Dearest Lance,_**

**_I just wanted a normal life. Is that too much to ask?_**

**_Just to be a normal girl, have normal girl problems - actually, normal problems period. But apparently that's just not on the cards for me. Nope. I have to help my friends fight a war, figure out how to reverse whatever I've done in the past and Oh yeah, did I mention, I have to seriously kick my brother's arse._**

**_~B._**


	33. I can't place her

**Chapter 29 - I can't place her**

_Hermione,_

_Or Branwyn if that's what you want me to call you from now on. Firstly, who is your brother? This is the first time I've heard you speak of him. Second, if he is your brother than I don't think he would truly harm you, do you?_

_Lance._

* * *

Hermione narrowed her eyes at the person across the room from her. She knew it wasn't Ron, it was her brother, Efynsien. He seemed to be enjoying the chaos that was surrounding him. The room and the people around her faded and she walked towards her brother. She felt shaken and wary of his true intentions but she knew that no one would be able to get him the truth out of him, or have a hope to stop him but her.

She was halfway across the room and the people around her became almost a blur of movements. She wasn't sure if she was doing something of if it was Efynsien but the closer she got to him the more power she could feel building up insider her. It was combined with the sinking reality of her situation.

She was not Hermione.

She never was.

She took a deep breath and took another step towards her brother. He seemed to finally notice her presence and he quirked an eyebrow at her.

He didn't know she remembered who she was. She could use that against him at least.

Before she could plan her attack a hand grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her around to look at them. It took her a moment but she recalled his name.

"Mclaggen?" she questioned while looking over her shoulder to see Efynsien watching them with a curious expression.

"This is your fault," Mclaggen began.

"Cormac you moron leave her out of this," she heard Ernie say and she realised he was standing beside her. He was the one who had been having a shouting matching with Cormac Mclaggen before Hermione so focused on her brother had walked right between them.

"What- what are you talking about?" she questioned pulling her attention away from her brother for a moment.

"You said that she wasn't a spy," Mclaggen began.

"She is not spy!" Ernie shouted pushing Mclaggen away causing him to let go of Hermione's arm but he did so suddenly that she tripped and fell back. She looked up when she felt herself being steadied by Ron's arms. She had fallen into his chest, he was watching Mclaggen with murderous eyes and she could feel the anger rolling off of him.

"Well then where is she now huh?" Mclaggen continued completely unaware that Ron was glaring at him, "Not even here to answer all the charges against her -"

"This isn't a bloody trial you fuckin' moron!"

Hermione jerked herself away from Ron and walked over to Ernie.

'One thing at a time,' she told herself reaching across to try to calm Ernie down, she had never seen him so upset.

"And in case you've forgotten," Ernie continued shaking Hermione's hand off his arm, "She almost died today! She could have died, drowned right of front of me - us...she could be dead and for some fucked up reason I have to be here to defend her rather than being where I should be, which is with her, comforting her and making sure she doesn't stop breathing - Merlin..."

Ernie cut himself off and his hands were swinging around as though he didn't know what to do with them before he settled on pushing them through his hair, making him seem even less composed than before she arrived.

"But she didn't did she," Mclaggen retorted his face becoming red with anger and she saw to her horror that there were a several people nodding their heads in agreement as the arguement caught the attention of allthe other students in the D.A. "Strange how she survived a full on attack, an attack that happened just as she joined the D.A?"

Ernie just stared at Mclaggen as though he was willing him to combust into flames.

"Just bring her here and let her answer these questions herself," a girl Hermione didn't recognise said walking up to stand next to Mclaggen.

"How do you even know where she is?" Cormac continued having gained some confidence from the people agreeing with him and Hermione wanted to punch him for even suggesting that Lena would betray them. She wouldn't, she couldn't...

"Or maybe," McLaggen took a step closer to Ernie who was hunched over and Hermione wondered how long he had been standing in this room defending Lena against the countless number who were shoving her under the bus. Ernie raised tired eyes to look at McLaggen but she saw that he still had fire in them for the next words McLaggen spoke set him off completley.

"She's probably off telling Malfoy all about us, that two-faced little bit-"

Mclaggen didn't get a chance to finish his sentence because Ernie punched him straight in the face. Hermione had never seen anyone being punched at that close proximity before and to be honest it was gross, she was sure she heard something crack before Mclaggen head fell back as though in sickingly slow motion, before his entire body followed.

Everyone as though in unions went from gaping at McLaggen on the floor to stare at Ernie in shock. He had never raised his fists or voice against anyone in anger. He was in fact known for being the peace-maker amoung the students.

Hermione saw Andrea watching him in concern.

"Fuck you all," Ernie said wiping a hand over his mouth, "I've had enough."

Without another word Ernie turned and walked out of the room. Andrea tried to grab his arm to stop him but he shook her off and kept walking. His girlfriend watched him leave before turning on Mclaggen.

"If she was a bloody spy why would she put herself in danger just to help us?" she huffed, "Merlin the idiocy of some people."

She then tossed her hair over her shoulder and walked out the door, ordering Zacharias to follow her.

The room was silent for a moment before Harry finally spoke.

"We understand you guys are all worried about Umbridge but turning on each other is exactly what they want," Harry spoke from his position at the front of the room, "If you are all really concerned about Umbridge, what we should be doing is thinking of ways to be more vigiliant, and to spot each other before we meet for D.A. meetings."

A few murmers of agreement were heard and a few people had the grace to look shamefaced.

"Let's take a few days to cool off before we meet again, we should all get back before Umbrdige sends anymore of her Inquisitoral squad to find us."

"He pwunched mwe..." McLaggen said as he held his bloody nose in one hand.

"I could fix that for you," Luna offered but the look McLaggen shot her was a mix between terror and rage because he grabbed his bag and was out the door without another word, his friends close behind. Luna shrugged her shoulders and left the room.

Slowly the room emptied till the only ones left were her, Ron, Harry and Ginny. Neville had to show the muggleborns back to the village so he couldn't stay around to speak to them. When the door finally thudded close all eyes turned to her.

She took a breath and turned to look at her Ron.

"We need to talk."

Ron gave her a concerned look.

"Are you alright?"

Hermione frowned at him. She blinked and looked again.

"Hermione?" Ron smiled at her awkwardly before looking at Harry, "She is alright isn't she?"

"Yeah," Harry replied from behind her but Hermione was focused on Ron.

"Just need to make sure she gets rest."

Ron nodded his head and looked back at her.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

She was preparing herself for an arguement with her brother but this...this was Ron. At least she thought it was. She heard him chuckle and she realised she had been just standing there staring at him.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Nothing," she said quickly, "It can wait."

"Okay," he shrugged before they all left the D.A.

* * *

_Branwyn/Hermione,_

_If you really intend to fight him, you should learn more about him, try to get to know him. Know thy enemy and all that._

_Lance._

* * *

They were walking back to the Gryffindor Tower when Ginny suddenly pulled her arm. Ginny held her back for a moment and waited till Ron and Harry were quite a distance away from them before she started talking.

"What was that about before?"

Ginny was whispering but Hermione still didn't feel safe talking out in the open like this. She still didn't know what powers her brother, Efynsien had and whether or not he could follow them around without them even knowing he was there. The thought was more than a little disconcerting.

"I just think," Hermione bit her lip in contemplation before continuing, "We need to do more research on -"

Ginny looked at her expectantly. Hermione turned to see that the boys were standing at the top of the stairs looking down at them.

"Meet me tomorrow in room of requirement, we need to do research."

Ginny looked confused but she nodded her head regardless and they both followed the boys back at the Gryffindor Tower.

"I better check on Lena," she said when they entered the common room.

"I'll come with you," Ginny offered and they left the boys sitting by the fire before walking up to Lena's room.

"All that stuff they were saying," Ginny began as they climbed the stairs, "About Lena, you don't think its true do you?"

"Of course not," Hermione said instantly, "She wouldn't do that."

"How can you be so sure?"

Hermione looked at her friend and was about to reply when they saw a crowd of girls whispering and pointing their wands at Lena's door.

"What's going on?" Hermione said instantly on the defensive.

The girls all jumped and turned to look at her and Ginny. A look of relief crossed their faces and one of Ginny's roommates stepped forwards, Amanda her name was. She was a year younger than Hermione so she didn't know her that well, though she remembered her coming along to cheer for Ginny when she was playing Quidditch. She was slightly shorter than Ginny, with blonde hair and a round face. She was sweating and looked out of breath when she stepped back to show them what the girls were all crowded around.

Hermione took a sudden intake of breath.

Written in ugly green scrawl across Lena's door were the words

**_TRAITOR_**

**_BACKSTABBING BITCH_**

**_SLYTHERIN WHORE!_**

"This is unacceptable!" she said in disgust.

"Who would do this?" She heard Ginny say from beside her, and she knew that at any moment that Weasley temper was going to boil over.

"We don't know," Amanda replied, "We heard a ruckus earlier but by the time we got here, the door was already..."

She trailed off and they all turned to stare at Lena's door.

Hermione stepped forwards and placed her hand the door. It looked like paint but was clearing not coming off.

"Has Lena seen?" she questioned the girls.

They all shook their heads.

"We don't think so, but we can't be sure. She probably heard the noise just like us."

At that moment a mousy brown haired first year came up the steps with a bucket of water and a scrubbing brush.

"We couldn't get it off with magic, so Mary suggested we try getting it off the muggle way," Amanda explained helping the first year with the bucket.

"I can't believe someone would do this," Hermione said in disbelief, "This is not what Gryffindors do."

The girls nodded in agreement.

"I wouldn't say that," Ginny said leaning over to pick up the brush and soaking it in the soapy bucket water before she began to scrub at the words painted on the door, "Lena doesn't act like a typical Slytherin. I don't think we can just paint everyone with the same brush here."

Ginny cringed when she realised what she had just said.

"Have you seen Lena?" Hermione questioned after testing a few more scrubbing charms on the door.

"We haven't seen her since she got back from the infirmary, I think she's sleeping," another girl offered.

Hermione nodded her head.

"I'm going to just check up on her," she said before gingerly opening the door and stepping inside quickly before closing the door again, just in case Lena could see what was on her painted on her door.

The room was dark but she spotted Lena sitting on her bed, her back towards the door. She had her hair braided and was staring at her hands and Hermione wondered if she had even heard her call her name.

She tried again.

"Lena?" she moved forward to place a hand on her friends shoulder but Lena suddenly looked up and backed away from her.

"Don't touch me," Lena said instantly staring at Hermione with wide eyes.

"I won't...sorry...I just...are you alright?"

After a few seconds, Lena visibly relaxed and looked down at her hands again. Hermione saw that she was holding bandages in her hands.

"I have to change them," Lena began hesitantly, "B-but it hurts when I move..."

Hermione stepped forwards slowly.

"Did you want me to?" she offered knelling down in front of her friend.

Lena shook her head.

Hermione eyes widened in shock when something wet fell on her hands that were outstretched towards Lena.

Lena -

Lena was crying.

Hermione felt her own eyes begin to sting.

"Do-" she cleared her throat, "Do you want me to get someone else to help? Ernie?"

Lena dropped the bandages and held her hands up to her face as she tried to hide her tears.

"No," she said through gasps, "Just leave me alone."

"But -"

"Leave!"

"Lena, sweetie, I can't just leave you -"

"Go -" Lena hiccuped, 'Away."

Hermione watched her friend for a moment before sighing and standing up.

"Alright, I'll go but if you need anything -"

Lena turned her face away from Hermione and she moved to leave as quickly and quietly as possible.

"Is she alright?" Ginny asked when Hermione closed the door behind her.

She saw that it was just Ginny waiting outside the door.

Hermione shook head.

"I think I should get Ernie," she said taking a calming breath.

She turned around to look at the door. The entire door was now painted green and she looked at Ginny in confusion.

"We couldn't get it off," Ginny explain, a small paintbrush in one hand, "I'm going to decorate the door for her, so -"

The rest of her sentence was cut off by the rest of the girls coming back out of their rooms with paintbrushes and other assortment of crafts.

Hermione stared at Ginny in amazement.

"You are amazing Ginny Weasley," she said pulling her into a hug, Ginny looked shocked but she soon returned the hug.

"I'll be right back," she explained before heading down the stairs. She knew Lena told her not to but she had to get the bandages changed and Lena looked like she needed someone to comfort her. She clearly was only comfortable with one person and that person was Ernie. It's not like she would just shover Ernie into the room and leave them alone, she would ask Lena again, and hopefully hearing Ernie's voice would convince her to let him stay.

She had just reached the common room before it occurred to her that she didn't know how she would get Ernie up to Lena's room even if she could find him. She was just pondering over this fact and whether Professor McGonnagal would be able to help when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to see Ron standing beside her.

"How's Lena?" he questioned.

"Not doing so well," she admitted after a moment's hesitation, "I'm on my way to get Ernie, maybe he can help cheer her up."

"Oh yeah? I was just going to get Ernie myself, I wanted to see if he was alright after the D.A. meeting," He gave her a lopsided grin, "Shall we go together?"

Hermione felt suddenly awkward looking at Ron but quickly pushed the feeling aside. She could deal with everything, like the fact that she was currently taking over his girlfriends body later, for now she just needed to help her friend. She felt herself nodding her head in agreement before he pushed open the portrait leading out of the common room.

The portrait swung open and a tired looking Ernie stood on the other side, a weak smile on his face.

"Hey," he said his hands in his pockets and looking over her shoulders as though he expected Lena to walk past.

"She's in her room," Hermione offered stepping out into the corridor.

Ernie nodded his head before rubbing the back of his head, and the act reminded her so much of Ron when he was embarrassed.

"I'd let you come up to see her but I don't know how to, the girl's staircase is enchanted."

Ernie looked at her in confusion.

"Can't I just use the servants entrance to Lena's room."

Hermione stared back at him.

"What?"

He pointed at another portrait a few metres away.

"That portrait over there," he explained, "It leads to Lena's room."

Hermione followed Ernie over to the portrait of a lone figure standing on rocky cliffs overlooking a stormy seascape.

"I had no idea this was here," she looked at Ron, "Did you?"

Ron was furrowing his brow and frowning at the portrait.

"No," he said finally.

"You didn't?" Ernie said joining in her confusion, "Lena uses this to get in and out of the dorms all the time, I just assumed you showed her the way."

"No," Hermione said slowly, "No I didn't."

"So can I see her?"

She pulled her eyes away from the portrait to look at Ernie.

"She said she doesn't want to see anyone but I don't want to leave her alone up there."

Ernie nodded his head in understanding.

"Let me see what I can do."

"Um...I should go with you though," she said a tinge of embarrassment, "Just so -"

"Oh yeah, sure" Ernie agreed hiding his face from her before smiling and following her through the portrait that she had no idea was even there before now.

She cleared her throat when she reached the top of the dark stairwell and walked out into Lena's still darkened room. She held a hand up to stop Ernie and Ron entering the room.

"Go away," Lena said without even turning to look at her.

"Lena?" Ernie said from the other side of the entrance, "It's me, can I come in?"

Silence.

Hermione looked at Ernie and he nodded his head at her as though that was indication enough for him. She nodded her head and stepped aside.

"We'll be right here," she said pointing at the staircase, "In case you need anything."

Ernie nodded his head and thanked them both before walking over to the lump of blankets on the bed. Hermione watched them for a moment, as Ernie sat down gingerly and reached over to touch Lena. She didn't push him off so Hermione thought he would be safe enough. She stepped back into the shadows and sat down on the cold staircase after a moment Ron joined her. He stared down the staircase and seemed to be avoiding eye contact with her. She wanted to talk to him about everything they had learned but she really didn't know where to start. Besides they weren't alone and she wasn't sure how much he wanted other people to know about their situation.

"They all hate me," Lena's muffled voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Then let them hate you," Ernie replied, "I will never hate you."

Some more sniffling and the sound of blankets being pulled aside.

"They're all idiots anyway, we don't need them and besides I will always be here for you."

She could hear Lena's muffled sobs as though she were crying into Ernie's shoulder.

"Why do they hate me so much?"

"Because they're idiots. Ignorant and prejudiced idiots."

"Maybe you're the idiot for trusting me."

"What?" Ernie said in shock, "No, I know you, you would never do that."

Silence.

But that wasn't really unusual, in fact Hermione was actually surprised at how vocal Lena was being right now.

A hiss of pain.

"What is it?" Ernie said in concern before an 'Oh' could be heard.

Ernie cleared his throat.

"Y-you want me to...?"

The shuffling of clothes could be heard before he had even finished his sentence, "O-okay you're taking your...okay...just hang on."

The entrance swung open and they both looked up to a flustered Ernie. He was pulling his tie loose and she wondered if he was having trouble breathing but the next moment he pulled the tie free and was placing it over his eyes as he stepped back into the room. He was back at Lena's bedside tying his tie across his eyes and Hermione closed the portrait once more to give them privacy.

"Just lay down and I'll...take this off for you..."

"Ouch," another hiss of pain from Lena.

"Sorry," Ernie said instantly sounding completely at a loss, "Lena I can't see your face right now so you're going to have to tell me what to do and whether I'm hurting you, okay?"

"Okay," Lena replied softly.

"Shouldn't you be helping her?" Ron whispered from beside her.

"I tried but she doesn't like people touching her, the only person who she doesn't mind getting close to her is Ernie."

"Poor guy," Ron replied and Hermione was about to ask him what he meant when the conversation in the other room interrupted her.

"Put your hand here," Lena guided Ernie.

"Here?"

"No...here," the bed squeaked as Ernie moved to wherever it was that Lena was guiding him.

"Can you take that old bandage off?"

"Yeah, I got it..."

"Slowly," Lena warned, "It hurts if you -"

"How's that?" Ernie said after a moment, "Is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's perfect..."

Hermione eyes slowly widened as she listened to the conversation. She glanced over at Ron and he had a similar look on his face and quickly looked away from her.

"So just take this old bandage off...then just need to put this cream on..."

"Oh, its cold," Ernie said in surprise, "My fingers are all tingly."

"I think your skin numb so it won't hurt as much," Lena explained before she laughed, "Sorry, that tickles."

Ernie laughed in reply before saying, "Oh gross its all over my hands now..."

"Just wipe it on my shirt, I'll clean it later," Lena offered in her usual quiet voice.

"Okay now the new bandage?"

The sound of a package ripping could be heard.

"I-I have to go!" Ron said suddenly standing up and running down the stairs not looking at her.

"O-okay," Hermione replied hiding her face in her hands.

"Can you show me where to put it?" Ernie said after a moment.

"I'm just going to check on Ginny," she said aloud not waiting for a reply before making her way down the stairs and out into the corridor.

* * *

_Hermione,_

_I find it surprising that even though you've told me time and again how much you struggle to deal with who you are and yet you don't even try to empathise with someone who sounds like he is in the same position as you._

_Lance._

* * *

Hermione held herself up by one of the column along the corridor and cooled her face agains the stone wall. Merlin, it was like the universe was doing everything it could to make it a thousand times more uncomfortable for her and Ron to be around each other. She took a steadying breath before walking back to the Gryffindor Common Room.

When she reached the girls dormitory, she found only Ginny standing in front of Lena's door.

"Nicely done Gin," she complimented her friend joining her in inspecting the newly painted door.

The entire door was painted green, but it was now a backdrop for a scenic painting of the Gryffindor grounds. There were little figures sitting on a grassy hill overlooking the lake. Hermione noted that the girls had painted figures wearing uniforms of all the Hogwarts houses, not just Gryffindor. Painted in cursive silver letters in the middle of the door was Lena's full name.

"I think she will love it," Hermione said after admiring the artwork, "Where are the others?"

"Gone to wash up," Ginny said before offering her a brush, "We're writing our names on the door, there's room for you and Lena."

Hermione turned to where Ginny was now pointing, what she had thought was a border for the painting was in fact all the names of the Gryffindor girls who had painted the door for Lena. There was just enough space for Hermione to scrawl her name. She considered for a moment before stepping forward.

When she had written her name she stepped back and saw Ginny frown at her.

"You didn't have to do that," Ginny said reluctantly accepting the brush from her.

"Yeah, I kinda do," Hermione explained with a sigh, "As much as I feel that I am Hermione, I will never be the Hermione you all know."

"So, do you want us to call you by - that name now?"

She shook her head.

"People will start asking questions if we do that," she placed a hand over the name she had written on the door, "For now, lets stick with Hermione."

"What do we do about Efynsien though?" Ginny wondered aloud after a moment, "We still don't know what his intentions are."

Hermione folded her arms and considered Ginny's words.

"I honestly don't know."

"Maybe we should just be on our guard and if Ron starts acting strangely we figure out a way to get Efynsien out of him."

"I've been thinking about that," Hermione bit her lip nervously, "For some reason I feel as though the magic he used to connect with Ron was different to what happened between Hermione and I."

"How so?"

"I-I'm not sure..." she trailed off, "When Hermione was showing me around Ron's mind or Efynsien's mind, there was almost a strange calmness there...almost like -"

The door suddenly swung open and Lena stood on the other side.

"Hello," Lena said, "I'm going to -"

Lena stopped talking and stared at the door completely frozen.

"Um...hey, here," Ginny offered her the brush, "we've all written our names around the border."

Lena took the brush and stared at it for a long time. Her head was bent and a shadow was cast over her face. Ernie stepped over to them.

"What are you doing in there?!" Ginny said in surprise.

"I'll explain later," Hermione whispered to her friend but Ginny continued to stare at Ernie like he had grown a Whomping Willow on his head and didn't even notice it.

Ernie leaned over and whispered something into Lena's ear, she nodded in response.

"Thank you," Lena said softly before lifting the brush with a shaking hand and writing her name.

Hermione hadn't realised it but the paintbrush must have been enchanted because when lena wrote her name the paint changed from the Gryffindor Red to Silver.

She handed the brush over to Ernie and he wrote his name beside Lena's, his name changing to Hufflepuff yellow.

"Ernest?" Ginny choked back a laugh earning her an eyeroll from Ernie and a smile from Lena.

"I should go," Ernie said after a moment stepping back into the room.

"Goodnight," Lena said before hesitating and thanking Ginny and Hermione again. The door closed and the two girls were left to stare at the door.

"I'm going to bed," Ginny said after a moment of disbelief that Lena had just thanked her and smiled in front of her.

Ginny walked off and Hermione stayed for a moment longer to stare at the names scrawled on the door.

_GinnyWeasley~Branwyn~HelenaLawson~ErnestMcMillan~_

There was still a gap in the border, space enough for Hermione to write her name when she returned. That thought depressed her and made her guilty at the same time. She sighed and began to make her way to the boys dormitory before stopping. She didn't know if she could deal with Ron at the moment. She needed time away from him to at least make the eventual separation easier for her. She didn't kid herself that he would have any trouble getting his girlfriend back, or that he would miss her.

"And on that depressing note," she said to herself before walking back up the girls staircase. She opened the door to Ginny's dorm room and quietly stepped inside.

"Gin?" she whispered.

"Nngh?" she heard before a figure moved at the end of the room.

Hermione tiptoed her way through the room and stepped towards the bed where Ginny was sleeping.

"Can I sleep here?"

Instead of replying, Ginny kicked a corner of the blanket so that it lifted off the bed, Hermione took off her shoes and laid down on the warm bed.

She laid there for a long time thinking about everything that happened over the last few months.

"Ginny, you still awake?" she said in hushed tones.

"No."

Hermione smiled.

"In case I don't ever get a chance to say it before...before Hermione gets back that is...Thanks for being my friend."

Silence.

"Ginny?" she whispered turning to look at Ginny's back.

"Yeah, yeah you love me, I get it," Ginny yawned.

Hermione sighed and huddled closer to her friend.

"Goodnight -"

"Shhhh sleepy time now," Ginny cut her off before she snored loudly.

* * *

_Hermione,_

_I'm glad you have friends to support you. Maybe you should try to be his friend too. Just be there for him. It's what you would have wanted right? Remember when you said you didn't like how everyone kept looking at you and expecting you to be someone you're not?_

_Lance._

* * *

"Hermione?"

Hermione looked up from the book she was currently flipping through at the sound of Ginny's voice.

"Yeah, over here Gin," she called her friend over, getting up from the desk she had been hunched over for the last two hours. Her friend rounded a corner of shelves and stepped over to her.

"Hermione I can only stay for an hour at most, Harry's going on a rampage with his training regime."

"Oh right the championship match is this week," Hermione nodded her head in understanding.

"Yeah, um what is this place?" Ginny questioned looking down at the ripped piece of parchment in her fingers that Hermione had given her that morning that told her how to get to the room of requirement.

"Its a library filled with books on druidlore," Hermione explained.

"Yeah the note you gave me already told me that, but what exactly are we doing here?"

Hermione waved her friend over and Ginny stepped towards her placing her broom against one of the shelves and dropping her Quidditch gear bag beside her before looking at the pile of books Hermione had spent the morning collecting from the shelves.

"I've been thinking over those memories Hermione showed me," she said thoughtfully lifting up a book and flipping through a few more pages before looking up at Ginny, "I think I know how to break the spell that was used on both Ron and I."

Ginny was listening intently though her expression was clearly guarded.

"Okay," Ginny said slowly looking down at the nearest book and lifting it up to see what was written inside.

"Well from what I gather from Ron's memory," she began a mixture of excitement and dread creeping forth as she spoke the words she had slowly coming to realise after the events of last few weeks, "Efynsien made a deal with Ron right?"

Ginny nodded her head at her before putting the book in her hands down and moving over to pick up another a confused look on her face.

"The only way to break that deal according to Efynsien was if he did something -"

"Yeah if he killed anyone or if anyone was hurt or something right? I remember you telling us this in the infirmary."

"Well there's no way I'm going to let Efynsien hurt anyone, but I was thinking what if the deal Hermione made with Branwyn," she cringed slightly, it was still strange dealing with the fact that she was Branwyn and not Hermione but she pushed that uneasiness aside and looked up at Ginny who had picked up another book, "If we figure out what deal she and I made then..."

She trailed off and allowed Ginny to fill in the gaps.

"We'll break the spell and Hermione gets back in her body?" Ginny looked up with excitement before she saw the expression on Hermione's face and she faltered, "Sorry."

"No," Hermione said instantly, "That's what we agreed on, we have to get Hermione back."

A moment of silence passed and she picked up the nearby quill and began looking through her notes.

"So what are the books for?" Ginny questioned.

"I can't remember what I was like before," she explained, "I don't remember what deal Hermione made, so I have to figure out what would motivate Branwyn to make the spell. Hermione called out to all the ancient spirits and yet it was Branwyn who answered her? I need to know why and maybe then we can figure out how to break the deal."

"Have you been sitting her the whole morning looking through these books?"

Hermione nodded her head before leaning back in her seat.

"But there's so much to get through and I've barely found any information about Branwyn specifically that I just -"

"So," Ginny interrupted her, "Are you telling me that you've read all these books."

Ginny waved her hand over the pile of books scattered over the large wooden desk.

"Yeah," Hermione said not sure what Ginny was getting at.

Ginny frowned and walked over to Hermione's side of the desk. She picked up a book on the way and placed it in front of Hermione.

"Read this for me," she said.

"Ginny what -" she cut herself off when she saw the look on Ginny's face, she pulled the book closer and read the passage.

"Branwyn, the daughter of Branwen is a daughter of Llŷr and Penarddun. Her marriage to the King Matholwch was intended to bring peace to land - look Ginny we know all this stuff and that's the problem. Most of these books the information is all very general, nothing specific about what would motivate her to awaken and take over a body of a teenage girl," she shoved the book aside, "I don't get it."

"Hermione," Ginny said slowly stepping back, "Are you telling me that you've been able to read all these books?"

Ginny walked over to the nearest shelf and flicked through a few of the pages before picking up another and doing the same.

"Yeah I have and - Ginny what's wrong?"

Ginny turned slowly and held the book up at her.

"What's this one say?"

Hermione looked at the cover of the book in Ginny's hands.

"It's just a book on Elemental magic."

"What does the title say?" Ginny insisted.

She huffed out an exasperated sigh before reading the title back to her friend.

"The Elements of Ancient Magic and its influence on modern Magic by - Look, what's this about?"

Ginny looked at the book in her hands before back at Hermione.

"I don't think I'm going to be much help to you."

"And why not?" Hermione said standing up from her seat and looking at her friend in despair, "You can't expect to read through all these books on my own."

"That's just it Hermione," Ginny said stepping towards her, "I can't read these books at all."

Hermione stared at Ginny in confusion.

"What language is this?" she pointed at Hermione's notes.

Hermione turned and looked at her notepad.

"English," she shrugged looking back at Ginny.

Ginny stared at her for a long time before speaking.

"No its not," Ginny said finally, "That is not english."

She plucked the quill out of Hermione's hands and wrote her name on the parchment.

"That is english," Ginny waved at the page, "Your notes are in some strange language I can't even read. It looks like strange symbols and squiggly lines. The exact same -" Ginny dropped the open book down on the desk and the noise echoed around the large room, "language that is in these books."

"Wh-" Hermione was speechless looking at the book in shock.

She swallowed and turned to Ginny.

"What does this mean?"

Ginny walked over to pick up her Quidditch gear and broom.

"That I can't help you research," Ginny replied before hesitating, "But there may be someone who can."

"Who? Who else can read...Oh."

"Exactly," Ginny said looking grim, "We're going to have to get Efynsien to help us."

"How exactly do we do that?" she said hopelessly.

Ginny looked just as clueless.

"I don't know," she sighed.

Hermione hesitated for a moment before asking her friend the question that had been on her mind for a while now.

"Did you two end up going back home to visit your parents for Easter?" the holiday had been some time ago but she after almost drowning and plunging straight into research, the promise she had made with Ron to visit his family sort of got pushed aside. That and she had been avoiding him, as Ginny had clearly noticed. He didn't bring it up again and she just assumed that they had visited their family then come straight back to school.

"Didn't Ron tell you?" Ginny said with surprise.

Hermione gave her a look and Ginny shook her head.

"Right, well we didn't end up going, with everything going on we just thought it best to stay here and besides, the Order has been busy lately so I doubt we would have had much time to spend with Dad a-"

Ginny suddenly stopped and bit her lip as though she had just divulged a secret. Hermione just stared at her in confusion.

"You okay Gin?"

"Uh yeah, um look I have to go but I'll talk to Harry about the research, maybe he'll know how we can deal with Efynsien."

Hermione nodded her head in agreement.

"I'll try translating as much of this into english, if I can."

With one final grim look Ginny turned and left the room.

* * *

_Hermione,_

_I'm fascinated by all these new developments in your life. You believe that your brother is your enemy? Did it ever occur to you that rather than try to fight him, you should join him?_

_Lance._

* * *

Hermione spent the last few days pouring over ancient books and she was quite certain that the musty smell of rotting pages would be forever lodged in her nose. She suspected that the real Hermione would love it and it sounded romantic and lovely until you're reaching for the hundredth tissue and sneezing. Musty pages lose their romantic quality when you're wiping up your nose and rubbing tired eyes. Harry had tried to help but when he came in with Ginny, he looked like he would wear a hole into the ground. She didn't say anything when Ginny dragged him away and suggested he go over his game plans with Ron. Hermione watched him leave with a sense of relief. She knew that there was very little normalcy in their lives but for Harry and Ron at least they seemed to find enjoyment in Quidditch. The last thing she would want would be to rip that small piece of happiness away from them, not when she still felt as though it was her responsibility to make them all happy. She wanted to believe that that was why Branwyn had made the deal with Hermione, or at least that it was part and parcel of the deal Hermione had made. That it was a binding clause in the contract that all her friends be unharmed and happy even without her there.

Ginny tried to help but it was taking her a long time to translate the text into english, it didn't help that she hadn't even realised that she was reading and writing in the ancient language until Ginny had pointed it out. There was more than one occasion when she would hand over something she thought was important to Ginny and Ginny would just shake her head at her and hand the piece of parchment back. The only solution it seemed was to translate all the information orally. As much as Ginny wanted to sit there and scribe out all the information that would help in bringing back her brother and her best friend, she still had to attend classes and Quidditch practice, especially with Umbridge on even higher alert than usual.

Hermione had been furious when Harry had barged in one afternoon and told them that Umbridge had just tried to drag Hagrid out of his hut. Apparently if McGonnagal hadn't been there than they would have succeeded. As it was, Hagrid made an escape into the forest, but Professor McGonnagal was injured in the crossfire. He kicked a nearby shelf of books and didn't look remotely sorry when the whole thing toppled onto the floor, books flying everywhere.

"Is she alright?" Hermione had said instantly, McGonnagal had one of the few teachers who would actively protect the servants.

_She still remembered one night as she was sitting in an empty corridor crying after Millicent Bulstrade had spent the day bullying her. She started when a door opened and McGonnagal walked over. She had instantly wiped the tears from her face and made to run away when the teacher ordered her into her classroom._

_She told Hermione to help her clean up the room before leaving. Some time later the teacher returned with a tray with tea and a bunt cake._

_"Would you sit here please," McGonnagal asked her placing the tray down on one of the desks._

_Hermione sat down and McGonnagal poured her some tea._

_"Now would you like to tell me why you're crying in front of my classroom after curfew?"_

Hermione had adored the teacher after that night, and now to hear that she had been injured and by Umbridge no less made her furious. She slammed the book in her hands down on the table and pushed past Harry.

"Wait," Ginny had stepped in front of her before her eyes widened in shock and she stepped backwards.

Harry was at their side instantly and pushing Ginny behind him. He held his hands out in front of him as though in an attempt to placate her or show that he wasn't threatening her. She didn't know why he was doing either until she followed Ginny's saucer-like eyes and realised that her arms were covered in the glowing blue symbols. She stepped back from the door and her friends and took a few calming breaths.

"S-sorry..." she said in-between deep breaths, "I-I don't even know how that happened..."

A frustrated cry escaped her lips and she walked back to the desk.

"You couldn't help even if you wanted," when she turned back to look at him, Harry quickly added, "Because she's at St Mungo's hospital."

Hermione nodded her head in understanding.

"Sorry if I scared you," she said softly.

"Nah, we weren't scared, Ron's done wors- ouch Ginny!"

She looked up from the desk to see Harry rubbing his ribs and looking at Ginny disgruntedly.

"Are you ever going to tell me why everyone in the D.A. is afraid of Ron?" she questioned them both folding her arms across her chest.

"What? Scared? No one is scared," Harry answered quickly.

She quirked an eyebrow at him.

"How about you ask him yourself," Ginny suggested, "Don't think we haven't noticed you avoiding him."

Hermione shrugged and shuffled her chair closer to the desk.

"I've been busy," she replied looking over her notes.

"uh-huh, sure," was Ginny's response, "Look, we both know you need help and neither Harry and I can read that ancient language, you're going to have to ask him for help."

"Which him are we referring to?" Hermione said sighing looking at them both.

"Either, both, I don't know," Ginny shrugged, "But we need their help Hermione."

"Yeah, yeah I know," she agreed reluctantly, "I just don't know what to say to either of them, one of them is the guy I'm in love with and the other is at best an unstable mental case."

There was a pause and when she looked up Harry and Ginny were frowning at her.

"Which one is which?" Harry said after a moment.

"I-I don't know," she sighed and they all stared at the pile of books dejectedly.

"Harry shouldn't you be meeting Snape?" Ginny questioned cutting through the silence.

Harry looked even more depressed.

"Why are you meeting Professor Snape?" Hermione wondered staring at Harry curiously.

"I uh have extra lessons with him," Harry scratching the back of his neck and shooting a significant look at Ginny.

Ginny just shrugged her shoulders and Hermione knew instantly that they were keeping something from her.

"If you're having trouble with potions maybe I could give you a hand," Hermione suggested, "And besides, if I look at another book on ancient druids I may throw up."

"That bad?" Harry asked her lifting up one of the books he had caused to fall onto the floor earlier.

"Some of the things they did were pretty gory, I can understand why Efynsien didn't even flinch before he slaughtered whole villages and towns of people," Hermione shuddered as the image of Efynsien decapitating that poor peasant woman flashed before her eyes.

"Gross," Ginny said scrunching up her noise as though she was imagining the same image as Hermione.

She didn't realise until they left her to research again that Harry had avoided answering her question about why he needed extra lessons with Snape. She shrugged it off, if he needed help he would ask for it, though the thought of him voluntarily going to meet Snape or even that the Professor would offer to teach him after hours did seem a bit strange to her. Then again, she didn't really know the Professor that well other than recalling that he had tried to protect them all in the Shrieking Shack.

Hermione stilled.

The Shrieking Shack. It was where everything started.

She had a sudden perverse desire to go see the place. She also just needed to get out of this room, the smell and the images that that text had conjured in her mind was stifling. She stretched and stood up from her chair. She shoved her notes into her bag and left the room, taking care to check that no one was around before she closed the doors behind her. The doors disappeared as she walked away and she gathered her cloak around her as she made her way down towards Hogsmeade village and the Shrieking Shack.

She was taking her time, it was still the middle of the day and no one would notice her gone for quite a while now. She trudged along the dirt path leading to the village, deep in thought. She took a deep breath as she reached the top of a small hill and saw the field where the Shrieking Shack had once stood in the background. She walked slowly towards what remained of the building, it was mostly covered in snow but she still could make a few rooting timber beams. She walked around the wreckage in disbelief.

Hermione had been buried under all of that but she never gave up hope, and wasn't just the Shrieking Shack. Even when she had been ripped from her body, lost and confused she still hadn't given up hope. She had searched and continued on because she believed in Ron.

She felt her chest constrict and she stepped away from the site and walked back towards the village. She was could make out Hogsmeade in the distance. There was a high hedge but she could make out the the tops of the roofs as she walked forwards, feeling out of breath since she had practically run away from the site of the Shrieking Shack she sat down on a nearby fallen log just beside the tall hedge.

She took deep breathes wondering how this had all come about, she was still deep in thought when voices behind her caused her to turn and listen. There was a group of people on the other-side of the hedge, she barely made out their shadowy figures and daren't move in case they saw her.

"I swear this is where they are," a female voice said hurriedly, "It's called the room of requirement. You just need to think of that room and it will appear."

"If you 're lying, you won't be so lucky next time," A male voice threatened and Hermione recognised it as Malfoy's voice.

"I haven't lied to you before, I made sure she was on the lake didn't I?"

"Yeah, look how well that turned out," another male voice snarled back, "She was supposed to be alone."

"It doesn't matter, she's just a servant anyway."

"Yes but Weasley and Potter are oddly attached to the little witch, " Malfoy explained, "She could come in useful, we don't want to do anything to put them on guard do we."

"No, you're right, I understand," the girl agreed, "But I swear that information is true."

"We'll see."

Hermione heard footsteps receding before the girl ran after them.

"Y-you promised," the female voice said hesitantly with more than a hint of fear in her voice, "my parents, they will be safe?"

"We'll see, I said," the male voice repeated and then the sound of footsteps receding could be heard again.

Hermione hadn't realised that she had placed her hand over her mouth to stop herself from making any noise, she slowly dropped her hand to her lap in shock.

They really did have a spy in the D.A.

* * *

_Besides Hermione, nothing ever really works out the way you planned. We just have to do the best we can to deal with what we've got. And when that doesn't work, we make a new plan._

_Lance._

* * *

Hermione knocked on Lena's door before pushing it open. The room was empty and Hermione frowned, she hadn't had a chance to talk to Lena. She wondered if her friend was still upset about what had happened with her door. Though she didn't wonder that Lena had been avoiding people since everyone still suspected her of betraying them all to the Slytherin's. Hermione knew it wasn't true, she knew Lena would never do anything to put Ernie in danger. She just...wouldn't.

"Hey, you coming to the game right?"

She turned around to see Ginny walking towards her in her Quidditch uniform.

"Of course," she replied, closing Lena's door.

She was supposed to talk to Ron after the Quidditch game. Harry had ordered her not to do it beforehand because he didn't want Ron to be distracted during the game. She tried not to roll her eyes at that.

So here standing beside Ginny as Harry went over last minute plans with his team mates. She flicked her eyes over to Ron, who was sitting on the arm of the sofa staring at Harry in exhaustion as though this was not the first time he had heard this lecture from his friend. He must have felt her eyes on him becuase he looked up and smiled at her before nodding his head at Harry and rolling his eyes.

She bit back a smiled but didn't succeed because Ginny shook her head at her before she realised Harry was glaring at her.

She mouthed her apology to Harry because he apparently didn't want to hear anyone's voice at this moment but his own and drifted back into the shadows. He nodded his head and turned back to the team.

The team started to file out of the room and she watched Ron leave with trepidation.

"Can I follow you guys to the Quidditch game?" she questioned Ginny but Ron overheard and stepped up to them.

"Course you can," he said handing her his broom, "Just pretend like you're carrying that for me."

"I am carrying it for you," she replied as they walked across the courtyard learding down to the Quidditch pitch.

Ron gave her a lopsided grin and pulled off his scarf to wrap around her neck.

"Thanks," she replied when she realised that he had wrapped the scarf to stop her hair flying around her face.

He didn't reply just pulled his bag of Quidditch gear closer and walked ahead of her.

She watched the Gryffindor team stand for a last minute pep talk at the entrance to the Quidditch pitch. The noise from outside was deafening and she was pretty sure none of the Gryffindor could even hear Harry but they all just nodded at him before mounting their brooms.

She saw them preprea to leave and she quickly stepped over to Ron.

"Ron, um...goodluck," she said squeezing his shoulder before standing on tiptoes and kissing his cheek.

He stared at her wide-eyed.

"T-thanks?" he said before turning from her and flying out onto the field.

Hermione enjoyed Quidditch at least she enjoyed watch her friends play the game. She wasn't such a big fan of participating herself. She didn't feel comfortable that high up in the air. She didn't have a fear of heights, it was just her natural dislike of being high off the ground and being unable to control any of the variables, like wind speed and balance. Clearly Ron never had that problem she thought as she watched him swerve to avoid a bludger while still guarding the goal posts.

She jumped back when two players flew past her. She wasn't allowed to sit with the other students and spectators so she had just stayed at the entrance to the Quidditch pitch. It was actually a pretty good view and she could observe everyone else without being noticed. She didn't dare stick her head out to check who it was that had flown so quickly past her in case someone came along and flew straight into the back of her head. She didn't care what the any of the teachers said, she still thought this game was far too violent for students to play.

She cringed when she saw Ginny being shoved from both sides by two Ravenclaw opponents before she dropped suddenly causing the two players to hit each other. Ginny smirked before shooting off to the other side of the pitch and making shooting a goal.

A roar of cheers erupted from the stadiums and Harry flew past and clapped his hands on Ginny's shoulders, she smiled and Hermione saw her friend blushing as Harry flew off to search for the snitch. Hermione turned in time to see Ron moving to block a Ravenclaw from making a goal. He swerved in time to stop the opposing team making a goal but he was too distracted to notice the bludger heading straight towards the back of his head.

"RON!" she screamed in warning, it was too late, the roar of the crowds drowned out her cries for him to turn around.

At the last minute he spun but it was too late. The bludger hit him across the temple and he fell back through the goal posts. She suddenly felt a loud **'THUMP THUMP'** her hart beat roaring in her ears. She looked up and saw Ron's body drift towards the ground before a piercing pain struck through her body. She collapsed to her knees and groaned in pain.

Then she was outside of her body looking in.

She looked up just in time to see a shocked looking Hermione looking at her collapsed body before looking up at her. Then the next moment she blinked and found herself back inside her body. She heard noises and screaming from the quidditch pitch and dragged her body towards the entrance to see what had happened. Was Ron alright?

He was fine.

In fact, the game was over and Ron was smiling around at his teammates while the crowds sang his name.

**"WEASLEY IS OUR KING!"**

That was all she heard before she blacked out.

* * *

_Of course Hermione you know best how to deal with your situation. I am always here to listen to you though and offer you friendly advice where I can. I am after all only interested in your safety and happiness._

_Lance._

* * *

She awoke to find herself in the Lena's room. She held a shaky hand to her head and tried to sit up, a hand helped her up and she saw Lena beside her. Lena grabbed some pillows from the the end of the bed and placed them behind her back to make it more comfortable for Hermione to sit.

"Hello," Hermione replied frowning at the odd timbre to her voice, she coughed and tried to clear her throat and tried again, "Hello Lena, what happened? How did I get here?"

"I saw you collapse," Lena explained, "I helped Ginny bring you back here."

As though hearing her name, the door opened and Ginny stepped inside, a look of relief crossing her face upon seeing Hermione up.

"Thank goodness, are you alright?" Ginny asked as she stepped towards the bed and placed a concerned hand on Hermione's arm.

"Fine, thanks."

"What happened?" Ginny questioned sitting down beside her on the bed.

"I think -" she began remembering the image of Hermione standing beside her unconscious body, "I think I know how to get Hermione back."

Ginny's eyes widened in shock and excitement before she noticed the look on Hermione's face.

"That's good right?" Ginny questioned her, "It's what you've been researching for the last few months right? Isn't this what you wanted?"

"Is it what you want?"

Both Ginny and Hermione turned to look at Lena in surprise.

"It's not that simple," Hermione began after a moment's hesitation.

She felt rather than saw Ginny tense from beside her.

"It's not what you think," She continued quickly, "I am sorry, so very sorry for everything that has happened to your family because of what I've done. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself for what my actions, what both of our actions, Hermione's and I's have done to Ron but - but the answer is not that simple."

"Okay," Ginny said slowly squeezing Hermione's hand, "If we're going to talk about this than there's something else you need to know."

"What is it? What's happened?"

Ginny hesitated, looking from Lena to Hermione before explaining.

"It's Ron," she began slowly, "Didn't you notice something strange about him at the match today?"

"Oh the match, did we win?" Hermione relaxed, she had thought something terrible had happened to Ron, but apparently Ginny just wanted to discuss the game.

"Yes and any other time I would be downstairs celebrating with everyone else but right now, right now we have a problem."

Hermione frowned and leaned forward.

"What is it?"

Ginny looked at Lena again.

If Ginny was expecting Lena to pick up on nonverbal cues she would probably be waiting a long time.

"Lena could you give us a minute alone."

Lena nodded, grabbed her cloak and opened the servants passageway before disappearing behind the portrait.

"What is that?" Ginny said in surprise when the portrait swung close.

"Its the servants entrance to the room," Hermione explained, "Guess Lena wanted to avoid the celebrating Gryffindor swarm downstairs."

"Has that always been there?"

"I think so, but never mind that, what's this about Ron?"

Ginny turned from the portrait to look at Hermione seriously.

_"Oh dear, looks like Weasley's down for the - hang on..."_

_Ginny swung around to check on Ron. He was falling rapidly to the ground and she began to make her way towards him on her broom. She was too slow however and he hit the ground face down. Cries of shock rang out and she gritted her teeth. She saw some nurses head towards Ron but everyone stopped when Ron suddenly pushed up from the ground. He picked up his broom which Ginny could have sworn had snapped on the goal posts but now looked perfectly fine. The next moment he hopped back onto the broom, wobbled for a few seconds before he flew back up the goal posts. Ginny frowned watching Ron lose his footing a few times before righting himself on the broom._

_"You should get that wound checked out," she said when she flew up to him._

_"Ron, you alright?" she said looking him over for injuries when he didn't reply to her. There was a long gash along his temple to just above his left eye, blood was pouring out the wound like water but Ron was staring straight ahead ignoring her completley. He blinked as the blood dripped into his eyes._

_She gasped when he pushed her out the way and blocked a Ravenclaw making a shot._

_"Ginny get back here!" she heard Harry shout at her and Ginny stared at Ron for one more second before flying back to her position on the pitch. She passed Harry on her way and whispered to him._

_"His eyes," she said quickly before hitting a bludger out the way._

_She didn't have time to talk to Harry during the match but when they next made contact he looked a few shades paler. He nodded his head at her and she knew that what she suspected was true. They had glowed gold for a few second everytime Ron looked at a Ravenclaw player._

_She turned to look at Ron. He was smirking as two Ravenclaws sped towards him. She saw his lips moving but couldn't hear what he said but the next moment the Ravenclaw's had turned at a forty-five degree angle and flew straight towards one another. Ginny could hear the bones cracking from the other side of the quidditch pitch and she gaped as the tangled bodies fell to the ground. _

_None of the spectators noticed anything strange about what had just happend in fact she was sure she heard the Slytherin's behind her laughing as the Ravenclaws were carried away. Ginny's eyes swung up to look at Ron. He noticed her staring and simply winked at her. She frowned when he wobbled on his broom once more before steadying herself._

_The rest of the game, she was occupied with avoiding bludgers to the head and batting them across the field at Ravenclaws. The next she had a chance to look at Ron properly he was surrounded by Gryffindors and the spectators were on their feet and cheering. When she finally made her way over to him, Ron was wiping the now dried blood out of his eye and smiling at her._

_"Blimey, I don't know how I pulled that off," he laughed hugging her._

_She saw Harry over Ron's shoulder being jostled and congratulated. Was it all in her head? _

_Ron pulled back and ruffled her hair before walking off to his cheering fans. She was pulled from her thoughts by the sight of Lena walking over to her._

_"I need your help," Lena said._

_Ginny glanced once more at her brother before running after Lena._

"Then I helped Lena carry you back here, I haven't had a chance to talk to either Ron or Harry."

"I-I don't understand," Hermione replied, "What has you so rattled?"

Ginny just stared at her seriously.

Then it clicked.

Who else could heal themselves simply by touching the earth, who could control people by just looking them in the eyes and giving them an order.

"Efynsien?"

"Yes," Ginny nodded her head, "Bloody hell Hermione, he isn't supposed to take control of Ron's body. Ron's been taking his medication every hour on the hour, both Harry and I have been even more careful after what you told us in the infirmary."

"But what does it mean?" she said pushing aside the blankets and heading down the stairs to the common room, "We have to talk to Harry right away, he could -"

"There you are -"

A startled gasp escaped her lips before she smiled at Ron.

"Hi Ron," she said looking at the startled expression on Ginny's face before the younger girl assumed a nonchalant expression and walked over to talk to Harry.

"Here you go," Ron handed her a plastic cup filled with a honey coloured liquid, "Butterbeer - oh almost forgot."

He pulled his wand out of his pocket and waved at the air before a cinnamon stick ploped down into her cup.

She stared at him for a moment.

"Ron you can...do non-verbal spells?"she questioned just as a another chorus of 'Weasley is our King' began

"What?" he said not hearing her over the cheering crowd, before she could repeat herself he was dragged away by some girls Hermione didn't recognise, "Look, I'll talk to you later okay."

Hermione stared as the crowd surrounded him.

"Loud."

Hermione jumped and realised that Lena was standing beside her.

"Can I try that?" Lena nodded her head at Hermione's drink.

"Sure, sure," she said distractedly trying to find Harry and Ginny amongst the crowd screaming and cheering in the common room.

After a few minutes she saw Ginny push through the crowd puling Harry along with her. They smiled as people patted them on the back but their smiles faded by the time they reached her.

"Hi Lena," Harry greeted before looking at Hermione, "We should talk."

"Now?" she hesitated looking over at Ron being carried on the Seamus and Neville's shoulders.

"I'll leave you alone then," Lena said handing Hermione back her drink and heading back up the stairs.

"I think now is good, everyone's distracted," Ginny leaned over and said into Hermione's ear to be heard over the cheering.

Hermione nodded her head just as Harry and Ginny turned to walk up to the boys dormitory. She placed her drink on the nearby chess table and looked over at Ron one more time before following the Harry and Ginny.

The door closed and Harry sat down on his bed looking exhausting. He had just finished a gruelling Quidditch match but from the way Ginny was squeezing his shoulder she knew that this wasn't about his physical exhaustion.

"What do we do?" Hermione said sitting down on Ron's bed.

They all instantly shot up from their seats when Ron stumbled in.

They all froze. Ron began to take off his Quidditch shirt and throwing it into a nearby bin.

"Can you believe some first year just threw up all over me?" he said as he rummaged through his clothes for a clean shirt, "I was going to get that framed."

Ginny snorted at that and Ron frowned at her before pulling on a clean red and white stripped shirt.

"What are you guys all doing here anyway?" he asked looking at them curiously, "Party's downstairs."

"Oh we were just - just..." Harry trailed off looking at her desperately.

"They were just telling me about what happened to Hagrid and McGonngal," she said quickly, "terrible how Umbridge tried to kick Hagrid out like that and then Professor McGonnagal getting injured while she was trying to stop Umbridge..."

"Oh yeah," Ron's expression hardened, "Don't worry we'll get her."

"Wh-what do you mean, we'll get her?" Ginny said her eyes widening.

"Just that she'll get what's coming to her," he frowned at his sister before looking at them each in turn, "What's going on?"

"Nothing, really Ron, we're all just upset about Hagrid is all," Hermione explained putting her best reassuring smile.

Ron nodded slowly before heading towards the door.

"Well we'll figure it out later, come downstairs. WOOO! Quidditch Champions!" he screamed before smiling at them and leaving the room.

"Champions!" Harry repeated hands in the air.

"Wooo!" Ginny added.

The three of them turned and looked at each other and let out a collective sigh of relief.

"I don't want to alarm you guys but that did look pretty suspicious."

"No kidding," Harry sighed.

Hermione looked from Harry's tired face to Ginny's tense one before deciding that she had to tell them what she knew. She didn't know how they would take it but she owed it to them after everything to be honest.

"I saw Hermione," she began and both pair of eyes were instantly on hers.

"Wh-" Harry began but Ginny gripped his hand causing him to snap his mouth shut.

Hermione took a deep breath.

"Before I blacked out, something happened, I don't even know how to explain it," She stood up from the bed and began to pace back and forth in front of them, "It was like I was being ripped in two."

She stopped and swallowed before continuing.

"But I think - what I think is that I know how to get Hermione back in this body and...for me to leave it."

Hermione saw them both watching her expectantly and she sighed. She knew they weren't going to like what she was about to tell them.

"That deal that Hermione and I made, I think I know how to break it. And if it's anything like the deal Ron and Efynsien made, if we break it then - then...Hermione will come back."

"What is it Hermione?" Harry frowned at her, "What is it you're not telling us?"

"This is all speculative and it may be wrong because I still don't remember the specifics of the deal that Hermione and I made but - but..."

"But?" Ginny urged her.

"I think Hermione made the deal to protect Ron, to protect all of you. If we want to break the deal, if you want Hermione back..."

"You hurt one of us?" Harry finished for her.

Hermione sighed and sat back down on the bed.

"That can't be the solution," Ginny said in exasperation, "It has to be something else."

"What does this have to do with you seeing Hermione?" Harry asked her.

"When Ron was hit with that bludger, that's when I started to feel sick, and for a few seconds it was like I was outside of this body looking down at it...and that's when I saw Hermione."

"Did she say anything to you?" Harry asked her eagerly.

"No," Hermione shook her head in disappointment, "There wasn't enough time but I saw the look she gave me, I think she figured it out too when she saw me floating outside of her body."

"But Ron's been injured before today, why was today any different?" Harry countered and Hermione could see his leg bobbing up and down restlessly. He obviously didn't like what she was telling him, heck even she hated it. The thought that the only way to get Hermione back would be mortally wound Ron or her friends? That thought sickened her.

"Not like today," Ginny said slowly before looking at them, "he should have been unconscious as soon as he hit the ground but he got up seconds later and played until the end of the game. I think Efynsien healed Ron somehow."

Hermione nodded her head in agreement, an image of Efynsien, her brother, flashing before her eyes before hastily shoved it aside.

"So what do we do?" she looked at them both expectantly, "I won't stand back and allow either Ron or any of you be hurt but I also don't know how to get Hermione back without doing so."

"And you're certain this is the only way."

"No," Hermione threw up her hands and collapsed on the bed, "That's the problem, I'm just walking around in the dark here, I have no idea how to fix this."

A knock interrupted them and Cho Chang stepped inside.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt," she said blushing before looking at Harry.

"Hi Cho," Harry smiled getting up off the bed and walking over to greet her, "Did you need something."

"Oh um, well...no its not important," Cho looked up at Harry shyly, "Just wanted to congratulate you on the game."

"Oh, well thanks," Harry rubbed his arm awkwardly, "The Ravenclaws played a good match too."

Cho shrugged looking at Hermione and Ginny who were both staring at her, before looking back at Harry.

"I-I'll see you later then."

"Yeah, see you later - around school or you know whenever."

Cho smiled at Harry before walking away.

Harry closed the door and groaned banging his head against door.

"Smooth," Ginny whispered to Hermione and she had to bite back a laugh.

"Anyway," Ginny said trying to get Harry's attention, "If you're done moping we still have a problem."

"There's something else," Hermione said quickly and both Harry and Ginny cringed at her. She told them both about what happened on her way to Hogsmeade, how she had overheard a conversation with a girl and Malfoy.

"So the spy is a girl," Harry said thoughtfully giving Ginny a significant look but the redhead shook her head at him.

"What was that?" Hermione said instantly causing Harry to start.

"You might as well tell her," Ginny said shoving Harry towards Hermione.

"Well its just - you have to think about this objectively Hermione."

Hermione stared at them for a moment before speaking.

"It's not Lena."

"Hermione, come on its all a little bit strange don't you think?" Harry looked at her as though he expected her to agree with his aruement.

"I know she wouldn't ever betray the D.A. she wouldn't ever betray us," Hermione wanted to say that Lena would never betray Ernie but that was not her secret to tell and she would never betray Lena's trust like that, "And besides that girl didn't sound anything like Lena."

"Are you absolutely certain about that Hermione?" Ginny questioned her seriously, "You said yourself that you didn't see the girl."

"And voices can be distorted by snow and wind, not to mention the fact that they were on the otherside of a thick hedgerow," Harry added.

Hermione sighed and held her head in her hands for a moment before looking up at them both.

"I know, she's a slytherin, she's engaged to Ron and we've always agreed to be careful around her but please you guys," she looked at her friends desperately, "I know you have no reason to trust her... I know you have no reason to trust me either -"

"Hermione that's not what we meant," Ginny interrupted her but Hermione continued.

"Please believe me when I say that I know Lena and she would never ever do anything to endanger the people in the D.A."

Harry and Ginny looked at one another for a moment before turning to look at her.

"Alright," Harry agreed reluctantly, "We won't say anything to the others but this doesn't mean that I won't be careful around her or that we shouldn't at least warn Ron about her."

"Speaking of my brother," Ginny looked back the door before back at them again, "What do we do about Efynsien?"

"I don't know," Hermione replied honestly.

"I think you should talk to him, we should all talk to him," Harry said after a moments silence.

"And say what?" Hermione sighed, "Hi Efynsien, would you kindly shove off so we can Ron back?"

"He could provide us with information on how to get Hermione and Ron back," Ginny offered.

"He didn't really seem the teamwork kind of guy," Hermione said with a frown as she remembered the images of her brother decapitating people. She shivered at the memory and looked at Harry, "I think we should just keep an eye on him."

"I have to agree," Harry said slowly, "Maybe until we know more we should just watch both Lena and Ron. If either of them act strangely then we'll have to think seriously about telling the others."

"The other D.A. members?" Hermione said with concern remembering Mclaggen and Ernie fighting at the last meeting.

"They need to be able to protect themselves."

"But Ron's not dangerous," she looked at Harry in disbelief when he avoided her gaze, "Right?"

Silence.

"What aren't you telling me?"

Ginny turned to stare out the window and Harry stared at the floor.

"Guys?"

Ginny sighed and turned to look at her.

"Let's just say that Ron is more powerful than all of the D.A. combined and at the beginning, when he came back after that summer at St Mungo's he didn't know how to control it."

"But he's better now," Harry added quickly seeing the look on Hermione's face, "Much better, and everyone knows not to say things to get him angry of upset."

"Like talk about me?" Hermione filled in the gaps and looked down at her clasped hands.

"This is such a mess."

"I'll say," Ron said from the doorway.

They all started when Ron stepped into the room and she wondered how much he had heard.

"Why are you guys still here moping about, come join the party," Ron smiled at them.

Slowly they all walked towards Ron.

"Champions!" Ron said clapping a hand onto Harry's shoulder and jostling him, Harry laughed and the two lead the way downstairs.

"What's happened?" Hermione said as soon as they entered the common room and realised it was suddenly quiet.

There was a group of students huddled around near the stairs leading to the girls dormitory.

"What's happened?" Harry repeated Hermione's earlier question and the students parted to let him through, a moment later Harry and Ron were knelling beside a young first year student who was laying on the ground shivering and frothing at the mouth.

"What in Merlin's name?" Ginny said as Ron picked up the young girl, his face pale.

"We'll take her to the infirmary," he explained before leaving the common room.

"The rest of you don't eat anything, don't drink or touch anything suspicious," Harry ordered them, "Something made her sick and we don't need anymore students in the infirmary."

He saw the students nod their heads at him before he followed Ron out of the room.

"Did you see what happened?" Ginny questioned the girls who were looking at each other clearly distraught and shaken up.

"We don't know," Mary said walking over to answer Ginny's questions, "We were all just standing her and then the next thing we know she collapsed on the ground."

"She did throw up on Ron earlier," another girl provided, "I think it must have been something she ate or -"

The girls all stopped talking as Hermione knelt down and picked up the spilt cup on the floor with a napkin.

"Is this what she was drinking?" Hermione asked the students.

They all nodded at her.

Hermione stood up and turned to Ginny and nodded towards the exit

"What is it?" Ginny questioned as soon as the portrait door swung close.

Hermione looked at the cup in her hand, a half piece of cinnamon stick still inside.

"This was my cup."

* * *

_So in the end you think it will be a fight between you and your brother? Though I doubt anything I have to say will change your mind, I know how stubborn you are. But do you think it wise to get on the bad side of someone who is family?_

_Lance_

* * *

"So someone's trying to hurt you," Harry said his face grim as he sat on top of the table Hermione was sitting at. Hermione, Harry and Ginny were all staring at the cup in the centre of the table.

"I don't know," Hermione answered honestly and then when Ginny continued to give her concerned glances she sighed and leaned back in her seat, "And can I just say again how much it sucks that we have to keep this from Ron."

"What do you suggest then? Hermione, Ron was the one who gave you the drink," Harry turned so that his back was facing her, "The truth of the matter is that Efynsien sees and hears everything Ron does, at least we have to assume he does. Maybe he knows you've figured out that you're not Hermione and is trying to hurt you."

"It's Ron though," Hermione said softly flicking through the pages of notes absentmindedly, "I cannot believe that he would do anything to hurt me and besides it would break the deal Efynsien and Ron made wouldn't it to not hurt anyone."

"Kill," Ginny corrected.

"What?" Hermione started at Ginny's voice.

"The deal was that he wouldn't kill anyone wasn't it?" Ginny explained looking like she wanted to throw up and causing the rest of them to stare at the cup in silence.

"I can't - I won't believe it was Ron who did this," Hermione finally broke the silence, "And Ginny just a few days ago you were encouraging me to work with both Ron and Efynsien."

"Yeah before the Quidditch match," Ginny retorted, "you weren't there at the match Hermione, you didn't see the things he did. It shouldn't be so easy for Efynsien to possess Ron's body like that."

"I still don't like this, I don't like lying to Ron," Hermione said dejectedly, there had been far too much lying as far as was concerned.

"You think I like having to keep this from my best friend?" Harry suddenly said in frustration standing up and turning to face her furious, "You think I like any of this? I hate the fact that you were buried under the Shrieking Shack because the Death Eaters thought I was inside instead of you, or the fact that my best friend spent months wondering the wilderness because he couldn't deal with all the shit I dragged into his life. Do you think it honestly makes me happy to see my best friends who are stupidly - annoyingly in love with each other be split apart because they put my safety above their own?

None of this makes me happy Hermione, but if its a choice between keeping even one of you safe, I can forsake a little happiness."

Harry was breathing hard and he stormed over to the nearest bookcase and slammed his hands against the heavy wood. The shelves shook but remained in place.

"Cause everything's about you isn't it Potter?" Ginny said bitterly.

Harry didn't reply but Hermione could see him visibly tense.

"Get your enormous head out of your arse, this is about all of us. If you're going to have a cry do it somewhere else and not in front of me. Hermione could have been poisoned today, this a week after she was attacked and almost drowned in the lake. So sorry if my priorities are not focused you right now."

"And why do you think that she was targeted in the first place huh?" Harry spun around angrily and Hermione knew that this wasn't going to get them anywhere.

"Stop it both of you," Hermione said as she stood up and walked around the table to face them both, "First of all, we don't know I was the target, though it does seem to suggest that we do no one any favours by making assumptions. Secondly, Harry, we're your friends, of course we want to keep you safe just like you want to keep us all safe. Thirdly..."

Hermione took a deep calming breath.

"I really do think Ron should be included in this conversation."

"But we don't know what Efynsien wants," Ginny said morosely sliding down the floor with her back against one of the shelves, "He could be dangerous."

"It's still Ron though," Hermione said looking at them both, "I mean you're trusting me right now, why not Ron."

"The difference Branwyn," Hermione looked up when Harry said her true name for the first time since the infirmary, "Is that you have proven your loyalty. We don't know what Efynsien is capable of."

"I'm still not Hermione."

"No," Ginny said from her seat on the floor, "But look around you, you've spent how many days pouring over ancient text with practically no help from either Harry and I. You've barely had any sleep or eaten since you walked out of the lake, and the reason you're doing all of this is so that we can have Hermione back. You're doing this despite knowing or rather not knowing what will happen to you once Hermione returns to her body."

"You know for someone who has said time and again that she is not Hermione," Harry chuckled, "You sure do act like her a lot. Compassionate, kind, brave -"

"Great at the researching," Ginny added.

"Great at the researching," Harry agreed, "so despite what you may think Branwyn we trust you. You may not be the Hermione we know and love but we've gotten to know you over the last year. But with Ron its different. I would trust Ron with my life but the truth of the matter is that we are not dealing with Ron, we are dealing with your unhinged mental case of a brother. We don't know what he's capable of."

"From what you've told us in your research he seems like the kind of guy who doesn't forgive easily and who would do anything to get his way," Ginny shuddered, "Not the kind of guy we need knowing our plans. He'll just twist them to his benefit."

"You're making assumptions," Hermione said finally getting control of her emotions after hearing Harry and Ginny praise her, undeservedly she believes but its nice to hear them say that they trust her, "We could try working with both of them."

"Well as soon as you figure out how to get Efynsien to show himself," Ginny waved her hand in the air as though expecting Efynsien to appear in front of them, "be our guest."

"You're right, you are I know that," Hermione sighed once more, "but I just really hate keeping this from Ron."

"I know but we have no choice until we figure out what's going on with him and your brother," Harry agreed walking over to sit beside her against the desk.

"It also doesn't help that Ron's still been acting strange since the championship match."

"What do you mean?" Ginny and Hermione said in unison turning to look at Harry.

"It's uh - its nothing really just...its not even Ron that's been acting weird, just other people when they are around him."

"Potter," Ginny said slowly getting up from the floor and walking over to stand in front of Harry, "Spit it out."

"Its probably nothing, probably has more to do with us winning the Quidditch game but - I've noticed people just going out of their way to be nice to Ron."

"That's not really strange," Hermione relaxed instantly at Harry's words, "Like you said you just won the game, people are probably just congratulating him."

Harry looked at them with a worried look on his face.

"Yeah, you're right," he shrugged, "It's probably nothing."

"Even so, we should prepare for the worst," Ginny said grimly looking up at them.

* * *

Hermione was just collecting Ron's dirty clothes into a basket when the door slammed open and Ron was pushed into the room followed by Harry, Ginny and Neville. Ron fell onto the floor and spun around to glare at Harry.

"What's going on?" Hermione said looking from Ron to the others standing at the door.

"Hermione get over here," Harry said in a voice she didn't recognise.

"But -"

"Hermione," Harry said again not taking his eyes off of Ron.

Hermione stood up slowly and walked over to Harry.

"What's going on?" she repeated.

"Why don't we ask your brother," Harry said and Hermione thought he was talking to Ginny but he flicked his eyes at her before back at Ron.

Hermione turned to Ron.

"I told you I didn't do anything," Ron said in exasperation, "not my fault the guy took it so literal."

"Okay, you're going to have to explain yourselves because you look a bit insane right now Harry," Hermione said lifting a hand and trying to move Harry's wand away from Ron, "Let's all take a deep breath and calm down shall we."

"No! He did something, he almost killed someone and he enjoyed it."

"I'm lost," Hermione said pulling Ginny over to stand beside her.

"He told Mclaggen to go jump off the Astronomy Tower," Harry said through gritted teeth, "And he almost did. We had to physically restrain him from jumping off."

"How is that my fault?" Ron said standing up from the ground though Neville was now fidgeting with his own wand as though preparing to stun Ron at any moment.

"Maybe not Ron's fault but it is yours Efynsien."

At Harry's words Ron visibly paled.

"What are you talking about Harry," all the exasperation in his face disappeared and Ron was now looking at them, his hands clenched in fists at his side as though he was restraining himself from punching Harry in the face.

Hermione slowly realised what Harry was talking about.

"At the Quidditch match, Ron did you - you didn't tell those Ravenclaws to turn and fly straight into one another did you?"

"What?" Ron looked at her incredulously, "Of course not. Why the hell would they do that if I told them to anyway?"

"Maybe not you," Hermione continued reaching for her own wand when she saw Ginny do the same, "But Efynsien has the ability to make people do whatever he wants."

"You made sure it was little things so we wouldn't notice it right?" Harry said moving closer to Ron as he spoke, "Like asking Seamus to give you that new Quidditch Weekly magazine -"

"He let me borrow it you nutter," Ron retorted rolling his eyes at Harry.

"Or Terry's new broom," Harry continued as though not hearing Ron.

"It was his old broom and I had to use something for practice, mine's damaged from the match."

"What about Lee Jordon's new miniature snitch?"

"That was for you you moron," Ron said in exasperation, "and you're welcome. Merlin Harry, I'm sorry if people are being nice to be since the game but this jealousy thing is getting -"

"Then ten minutes ago, McLaggen mouthed off about Hermione and you told him to do the world a favour and jump of the Astronomy Tower!"

"We were on the Astronomy tower, he was being a bloody arse so I took the next logical step and told him to shove off," Ron sighed, "Look I don't know why he tried to jump but I didn't actually want the guy to off himself."

"Really?" Harry said a hard edge to his voice, "Isn't that exactly what you get off on Efynsien."

"Stop calling me that!" Ron roared causing them all to take a step back, none of them missing the brief flicker of gold in his eyes.

Hermione placed a hand on Harry's shoulder and nodded at Ginny. Hermione took a step towards Ron, her hands at he sides.

"Ron, you're right, Harry's just making a big deal out of nothing," Hermione said as she took another step towards Ron who was looking like a caged animal, "How about we just sit down calmly and talk about this okay?"

Ron watched her suspiciously before sighing and nodding his head.

"Yeah you're right," he said running hand through his hair, "I jus-"

"Petrificus Totalus!" Neville shouted from across the room.

Harry was beside Hermione's side and placed Ron's now frozen body onto the floor. Ginny ran over and began checking his pockets for Ron's pills. They had planned this at their last meeting but Hermione didn't think they would have to carry through on it so quickly.

"Are you absolutely sure about this Harry?" Hermione questioned as she helped move Ron's body so that he was in a sitting position in the middle of the room.

Harry conjured some ropes and handed her one end and they began tying Ron up.

"I saw his eyes flash just before McLaggen turned and headed toward the edge of the roof," Harry said through gritted teeth, "I didn't want to believe it Hermione but I think something happened when Ron was hit in the head and Efynsien healed him, maybe the connection is getting stronger."

Harry stood up and they all backed away.

"I'm afraid he will hurt all of us eventually," Harry sighed holding his head in his hands, "Ron is never going to forgive me for this if I'm wrong though."

"You did what you thought was right," Hermione hugged Harry before stepping back and looking at Ron, "Ron will understand."

"Neville," Hermione nodded to the boy standing tense at the door.

"Finite Incantatem," Neville said before stepping out of the room to keep watch, or perhaps to avoid looking at Ron, Neville had looked so guilty when he had to petrify Ron especially when he didn't even really know all the details other than that Harry told him it was the right thing to do. She doubted Neville would be able to look Ron in the eye for a while.

"Guys, this is ridiculous," Ron said once he realised he was tied up, "I don't even know where to begin to tell you how bloody ridiculous you are all being."

"What do you want Efynsien?" Harry said in response, "Why won't you let Ron go?"

"Harry, its me you dense idiot," Ron bit out before looking at Hermione, "Mione let me out please."

"Tell us how to break the deal that Hermione and Branwyn made," Ginny said causing Ron's eyes to fly instantly to her face.

"What are you talking about?"

"Stop lying to us Efynsien," Harry seethed, "Tell us how to break the deal you made with Ron and that Hermione and Bran -"

"Harry what the fuck are you talking about?"

They continued questioning Ron for several minutes before Harry sighed and looked at them both.

"This isn't working," Harry put his wand down and turned to Ginny, "Just give him the pills at least, maybe that will calm him down."

Ginny nodded and walked over to Ron.

"Gin, I've taken my medication already - I said I - mphfm..."

Ron glared at Ginny when she shoved a few pills in his mouth and ordered him to swallow.

"Okay," Ginny said standing up from the floor and joining them on the other side of the room, "What do we do now?"

"How long do the pills take?" Hermione questioned them. They both looked at Ron knelling on the floor in front of them his head bent over and his face hidden by his red hair.

"Should work almost straight away," Harry answered, "At least we have them as an insurance policy, I don't know what we would do if we had no way of stopping Efynsien from taking over Ron's body."

"It'll be alright, Ron will understand when we explain it to him," Hermione tried to reassure her friend but even she didn't believe that, "He trusts you Harry."

"Hermione, Ron went through hell because of that lunatic, I can't even imagine the kind of danger he would put Ron in just to amuse himself - I don't even..."

Harry stopped when Ron started to laugh.

They all exchanged confused looks.

"Why are you laughing Ron?" Harry questioned Ron.

"I apologise," Ron continued to laugh, his head was still hidden from view, "I just couldn't stop myself, listening to you all."

Ron looked up and they all jumped back when gold eyes stared back at them.

"Oh Ron will understand, he trusts you," Efynsien imitated Hermione's voice before standing up from the floor, the ropes falling at his feet before disintegrating into dust, "Mortals always so sentimental."

"B-but you swallowed those pills," Ginny said in shock.

"Do you mean these pills?" Efynsien said picking the bottle up from the floor, tossing the bottle in the air and catching them. Efynsien smiled broadly at them all before popping the entire contents into his mouth, "Mmm minty fresh."

They all watched in shock as Efynsien munched down on the pills like they were candy.

Hermione felt her heart rate accelerate as panic set it, she gripped Harry's hand and he Ginny's as they all edged back towards the door. She froze when Efynsien turned to look directly at her.

"Now sister dear, where were we?"

* * *

_By the way Hermione, what exactly makes you think that beating him will be easy?_

_Lance._


	34. I wake every morning

**Chapter 30 - I wake every morning**

"Now sister dear, where were we?"

Hermione gripped Harry's arm with one hand while the other gripped her wand hidden inside her pocket. She saw Efynsien cock his head at her in amusement as though he knew exactly what she was thinking. She tried to calm her racing heart rate and gritterd her teeth as she stared back at her brother. He was still watching her as though expecting her to do or say something. She tried to figure out what he wanted but before she could do anything it was as though a switch was flicked and he narrowed his eyes at her.

He reached out a hand as though to touch her and as she looked into his eyes she felt something strange, something she hadn't felt in a long time...it was almost like -

"Don't touch her," Harry said stepping between them, effectly breaking the magic that she had felt come over her.

Efynsien looked straight at Harry.

"Sleep," was all he said, Harry swayed before collapsing to the floor.

He was still holding onto Ginny's arm so she fell to the floor with him.

"Harry!" the red head said in alarm, "What did you -"

"Sleep child," Efynsien repeated looking at Ginny this time and Hermione watched her friends face go slack before she fell unconcious to the floor.

"Now then," Efysien said turning his attention back to her.

Again he lifted his hand to caress her face, she flinched but she stilled the instant his hand touched her cheek.

"You have come back to me, my dearest."

Hermione stared back at Efynsien in shock. This was not what she was expecting at all. Wasn't he supposed to be a killer? A mass murderer? How could this man, she had seen drenched in blood, be careessing her face with such tenderness as though she were a tiny bird in his hands. She didn't know where to look, when she finally lifted her eyes to his, she saw - no she felt that peculiar sensation again.

Slowly. Almost hesitantly she reached up, her hand touched his cheek, mirroring his actions towards her.

She opened her mouth as though to speak but she didn't know what to say. She had so many things running through her head but her words failed her. How ironic, that the girl who was known for foot in mouth disease was now lost for words...and it wasn't just that she didn't know what to say - it was more like the words she possessed weren't enough. Words seemed unable to capture what she was feeling at that moment.

Efynsien leaned forward but her eyes were locked on his.

"You've come home."

She felt rather than realised that she was smiling in response to his unguarded smile.

A groan interrupted whatever exchange they were having. Efynsien turned from her reluctantly to see Harry slowly waking. Efynsien frowned at Harry before looking back at Hermione as though he could feel the sudden spark of alarm she felt when she realised what she was doing. She was standing incredibly close to a dangerous killer, a man who was possessing Ron's body, who had the power to render her friends unconcious.

He turned to look at her fully. He narrowed his eyes at her, lifted her chin up so that he could look directly into her eyes.

"Why must you always complicate things for me sister dearest."

She stared at him in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

Instead of answering her he simply leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

"When you are ready, I'll be waiting love."

In the instant their eyes locked she felt a strange sensation wash over her. It was almost like a soft breeze from a distant memory surrounded her. She stared back at him in a sense of awe. She couldn't understand it but she knew that she loved this man. Not the way she knew Hermione loved Ron, no this was pure, this was the love between a brother and sister. Familial love. She felt tears roll down her cheek at the love she saw Efynsien's eyes. Love that she knew that he showed to none but her. She wanted to say something in response, anything to try to convey what she was thinking and feeling but once again her words failed her.

Then he blinked and as though lifted out from a haze Ron stared back at her.

"Hey - H-Hermione," Ron said breathlessly before his eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed to the floor. Hermione grabbed his arms to stop Ron from falling flat on his face but he outweighed her and she crumpled to the floor with him.

Harry rubbed his face and stared at her sitting at an awkward position being crushed by Ron's unconcious body.

"I'll give this to the guy, he sure is dramatic in his appearances."

Hermione wasn't sure if was supposed to laugh at that comment or not, she was still in a state of shock. She hadn't felt those emotions before, not even towards Ron. She was, if possible, more confused than she had ever felt in her life.

She gingerly pushed Ron away and placed him laying on the floor. Making sure he was fine other than being unconcious she moved to help Harry up from the floor.

"I feel like I've been placed under a sleeping curse," Harry groaned rubbing his face and shaking his body as though trying to force himself to wake up.

They then lifted Ginny up and placed her on Harry's bed where the redhead snored and burrowed her head into Harry's pillow, murmuring something before snoring again.

Hermione saw Harry smirk from beside the bed as he looked down at Ginny sleeping.

"What did she say?" Hermione wondered as she dragged Ron's body over to his bed. Harry just shook his head and walked over to help her lift Ron onto his own bed.

A moment passed where they just stared at the unconcious Weasley's before Harry sighed and turned towards her.

"So what did he want with you?"

"I don't know," she replied honestly, "But..."

"But?" Harry repeated.

Hermione bit her lip, contemplating how she could even begin to express the mass of emotions and thoughts spinning inside her head at that moment.

"Ow," Ron's muffled voice said before he started to move, ending their converstaion as Harry walked over to check on his friend.

They stepped back when Ron sat up but relaxed when Ron's blue eyes blinked up at them. He gave them a lopsided grin before scratching the back of neck sheepishly.

"He didn't happen to explain anything before he let me back out?" Ron questioned them almost hopefully, which Hermione couldn't understand at all. Why was he looking at them as though they were supposed to have just had a nice long chat with the mass murdering psychopath who had used his body for amusement.

"No," Harry said frowing at Ron, "Actually he just told me - no ordered me to sleep...and I did."

There was more than bitterness in Harry's voice, almost dissapointment in himself which Hermione couldn't understand. Efynsien ordered men into battle, Harry could hardly expect to fight of that kind of compulsion. And yet her friend had a deep frown on his face as well as a look of resignation as though he were coming to some important decision. She made a mental note to ask him more about it later. She didn't like to see her friend so bothered by something she had been the cause of, then again, what wasn't her fault right now.

Ron winced and rubbed the back of his head which had landed on the hard wood floors of the dorm room.

"This may be my imagination but you don't seem bothered by the fact that he's possessing your body again?" Harry folded his arms across his chest and narrowed his dark eyes at his friend.

"Well..." Ron dragged out the word before sitting up properly and looking at them guiltily, "I already knew that he was still doing that - that he was still inside my head."

Ron tapped his temple as though to enforce the point.

"Wh - WHAT?!" Harry suddenly erupted causing Ginny to give a cry of surpise and jump up from the bed she had been sleeping in, she fell to the floor. She popped her head back up, hair messily cover her face as she rubbed her eyes and looked at them each in turn.

"What did I miss?"

"Oh nothing much, just that your brother has been letting some psychopathic killer take over his body and mind - again!"

"Give me a break Harry," Ron sighed, "I hardly need lessons on my judgement from the guy who sees Voldermort in his sleep."

There was a second of absolute silence.

"What?!" Hermione said in shock spinning around to stare at Harry horrified at what she had just heard, "What is he talking about Harry?"

Harry slammed his hand onto his forehead in exasperation.

"Thanks for that Ron."

Ron had the grace to look guilty before mumbling an apology.

Ginny blew a few wisps of red hair out of her face and lifted herself off the floor.

"Looks like we've got our hands full with these two, then again what else is new?" Ginny said to Hermione, an attempt at lightheartedness.

Hermione stepped back and took a seat on the end of Ron's bed.

"This - this is a lot to handle..."

"No kidding," Ron said in response, "This wasn't how I wanted you all to find out."

"Okay, lets ignore for the second that you knew that psycho -"

Hermione felt a spark inside of her at Harry's words but he pressed on despite the frown she shot at him, maybe Harry was right, she really didn't know what to think right now.

"That psycho," Ron interrupted, preventing Hermione from voicing her own opinions on the matter, "Is actually the reason I am here alive today, so forgive me if i don't hold the same sort of animosity towards him as you all do."

"This boggles the mind," Hermione said after a moment, "I thought the whole point was to get the unstable and dangerous ancient beings out of our bodies not give them open invitation to do as they wished."

Ron shrugged before looking at her direclty.

"Things change."

His expression told her that he wasn't just talking about Efynsien. Hermione bristled at his implication. She wasn't a pushover no matter what anyone thought of her.

"I have been doing everything in my power, pretty much going days without sleep, translating and researching text in a dead language all so that I can help you," Hermione said jumping up off the bed, "I know you're angry and dissapointed that I'm not you're Hermione -"

"You still don't know," Ron said shaking his head at her.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" Hermione said, her confusion draining the anger from her words and body.

"Efynsien didn't tell you anything?" Ron questioend her in response.

"No," she shook her head, "Just something about when I'm ready he would be waiting for me, whatever that means."

Ron took a moment to consider her words as though debating something before looking up at her again.

"I kind of made a deal with him," Ron said slowly, rubbing the back of his neck as though he still wasn't sure he should be tell her this.

"We know," Hermione said confused at Ron's behaviour, "Why did he look at me and say that he thought it was complicated, what's complicated?"

Ron shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know, a lot of things are complicated right now."

"You don't know?" Harry said incredously, "What do you mean you don't know?"

"When we switch places, I have to go inside a sort of room and I can't really see what's happening or what Efynsien's doing."

"How do we stop him?" was Harry's next question.

"Why would we stop him?" Ron said looking at them in confusion as though they had just said the most nonsensical thing he had ever heard.

"Ron," Hermione said completly at loss, "He's using your body for purposes that you don't even -"

"Oh no," Ron said quickly, "No, I know what he's doing."

The room was so quiet Hermione could have sworn that someone had cast a silencing spell on it.

"Are you going to explain to us what's going on?" Hermione questioned Ron.

Ron's hand dropped from where he was rubbing the back of his neck and looked at her. All the shepishness dissapeared from his face and he instead looked at her sternly. Hermione cringed at that look.

"No, not to you I won't."

"Ron," Ginny said softly grabbing her brother's hand, "It's not her fault -"

Ron scoffed.

"Actually it is," Ron said before jumping up off the bed, "And she is that last bloody person I have to explain anything to."

"Alright, calm down," Harry said moving his hands around as though he were trying to placate an animal, "If you won't tell her, can you at least tell me."

"You're worse than her Harry, you've got you-know-who running around in your head, I can't trust you either."

Hermione pushed that comment aside but she gave Harry a look that clearly said that they would be having a long talk after this was over.

"Uh..." Harry trailed off looking at her guiltily, "It's a long story?"

He finished his statement with as a question as though expecting her to accept that for an answer. She just stared at him in disbelief. She took a deep breathe and tried to clear her mind. It was times like this that she wished Hermione could come back, she was sure the young witch would know what to do. She on the other hand had no clue.

"First things first," she began turning to look at Ron, "Efynsien has been controlling your body. We know that you made a deal with him."

Ron frowned at her and slowly sat back down onto the bed.

"You do?" he said uncertainly.

"Yes, Hermione told us -"

"What do you mean Hermione told you?" he stared at her as though she had lost her mind, which would be funny considering the circumstances but she just didn't have it in her to laugh at Ron's strange faces at the moment, "I've been seeing her. She's like a ghost, just floating around sometimes, and she talkes to me."

Ron's brown furrowed as though this information was incredibly disturbing to him which surprised her since he's been seeing Hermione as well.

"...I see..." Ron said slowly looking back at her with a strange expression before walking over to her. Hermione watched him walk over to her, their eyes locked.

She flinched when he reached up to touch her face, he hesitated before placing his hand on her cheek and looking her straight in the eyes.

He looked at her for a long time, long enough that she could see Harry and Ginny getting uncomfortable out of the corner of her eyes.

"This complicates things," he said softly before stepping backwards.

"That's exactly what Efynsien said," Harry said leaning back against the nearest bedpost, "So care to explain what's so complicated, well what's more complicated about this whole situation."

Ron was ignoring Harry and had started pacing the room every now and then stopping to look at her.

"You're starting to make me worried big brother," Ginny said when this went on for a couple of minutes.

"I'm sorry," Ron said pacing back and forth once more before stopping in the middle of the room, "It was all speculation before now, but this..."

Ron stopped and ran his fingers through his hair before looking at Hermione in frustration.

"Merlin, what I do for this girl..." he trailed off before turning as though to leave the room.

"Ron, wait!" Harry reached out to stop his friend.

"Just give me some time," Ron said turning to look at them all, "I just need some time."

He turned to look at her once more before walking out the room.

"Now what?" Ginny questioned them both but neither she nor Harry could give her an answer.

Hermione looked at Harry and he at her, both realising at that exact moment how crucial Ron was to their group dynamic. Both of them had ideas on what to do yes, but neither felt the confidence to voice those opinions, not without Ron there to either support them or shoot them down. It wasn't that Ron was the voice of reason, no, far from it. Ron was their compass, and Hermione recognised the lost look in Harry's eyes because she felt the exactly the same at that moment. She had taken it for granted that Ron would remain unfazed by everything that had happened. She had seen him smile and act like everything was fine, even on those rare occasions she saw his darker side, she still believed that the Ron she remembered, or that she had gleaned from Hermione's memories were still there. But if he had made a deal with Efynsien, a man capable of killing without thought and who considered only his own interests above all others, then she really didn't know what had become of the boy she had fallen in love with.

She had tried to harden herself to the realisation that she was far too old for him, she was in fact an ancient creature of the old religion, of the oldest magic on this earth, and yet she had fallen for him. A simple, brilliant, brave and bloody beautiful boy. No matter how lost she had been eversince the fragile reality she and Hermione had created had started to crack, Ron was her constant. She didn't know she had it in to be strong without his strength and support. She was after all no Hermione and she wasn't even sure she was in fact a Gryffindor at heart. She didn't know anything about herself really -

It was getting too much for her to handle. She now had two very strong personalities and set of memories warring inside her head for dominance and she didn't know which one she should let win. At times she felt that she should just let Hermione's memories take over her, that succumbing to those memories would solve everyone's problems. But then what would become of the girl who she was now. She may not be an all powerful ancient being with apparently a incredibly powerful family, but neither was she the brightest witch of her age who despite her fears and doubts was still a brave Gryffindor at heart.

Hermione took a slow steadying breath and glanced over at Ron's messy bed, his Gryffindor scarf and tie had been thrown haphazardly at the food fo the bed.

All she really knew was that she loved that stupid boy, and even if she wasn't the girl he loved, she would fight even her brother to keep him safe and to honour her promise to Hermione. She had died of a broken heart centuries ago, she would not do that to another living creature, especially one as brave and kindhearted as Hermione Granger. Not after she had lived her life, not after she had been touched by everyone in Hermione's life, she couldn't do that to her.

She turned to look at Harry and Ginny who were looking just as lost as she.

"We'll figure this out," she said reassuringly, "Together."

* * *

There were times that Hermione wondered how on earth these kids got anything done with all the rubbish they had to deal with. Whenever she heard Harry complain and drop his head to his desk in despair she simply reminded him of all those past dangers he had managed to get through. She always got a dark look from her friend in response.

"Voldermort is nothing compared to Snape's exams!" he had said it with such conviction and with such a serious expression on his face that though she was sorely tempted to laugh she could not, not when she constantly bumped into student after student with the same glazed look on her face.

Well, there were the Ravenclaws, they seemed to relish this period of revision for the O.W.L's and seemed to be on some kind of naturally induced academic high from all the study and mass amounts of readings that were assigned by all the Professors. Gryffindors on the other hand, well they had mastered the art of procrastination and last minute panic cramming sessions. At least, she thought as she brought another pot of coffee to the impromptu group study session in the Gryffindor common, Gryffindor's were team players. She saw students discussing and helping each other with their notes and questions while simultaneously throwing around a Qudditich Quaffle.

Groans of despair were common throughout those late night study sessions but the students perservered.

All the while, Hermione kept her eyes on Ron. He seemed to have taken a lot longer than a 'little time' to figure whatever it was he and presumably Efynsien needed to figure out. Each time she approached him to discuss the matter, the dark bags under his eyes and possibly the fact that she had caught him walking repeatedly into a column as he read through his notes, stopped her from pressing the issue further.

She had tried the night before but when he collapsed into his bed, he was snoring before she could even say 'hello' to him.

She supposed it could wait, whatever Ron was hiding from them he clearly felt strongly about it and she didn't really feel like had a right to be judgemental about him on this issue.

She took off his shoes and pulled the covers over his snoring figure before leaving the dormitory. She still saw some students revising in the common room, even though in a few hours the sun would rise. She made a mental note to ask for some fresh orange juice and warm breakfast for them when she went down into the kitchens in a few hours time. She took slow dragging steps up to the girls dormitory. She didn't have to study but she was able to help some of the students, surprisingly Hermione's keen knowledge seemed to have been unlocked eversince they had spoken in Ron's mind. Whatever Hermione knew so did she, it was a double-edged sword of course, the witch was unquestionably intelligent and at the same time the mass flood of emotions she felt towards everyone Hermione loved was crushing at times. It was particularly acute when she looked at or thought about a particular ginger. She sighed and leaned against the door to Lena's bedroom. Rather than help her she was starting to feel as though her knowledge of their true situation was making her more confused - no confused wasn't the correct word. It was almost like Hermione and she were melding into one person. She sometimes couldn't tell what were her emotions and thoughts and which were Hermione's.

It was exhausting and she had come to rely more heavily on the potions Lena had been brewing for her. Lena was also studying but she seemed less concerned than her friends. Branwyn wasn't sure if this was because she was confident or if she just didn't care.

Then came a day that she was not prepared for and relatively speaking, it had started out so well.

* * *

Hermione knocked on Lena's door, waited a moment before pushing it open with her foot as her hands were holding fresh bed sheets and linens for the bed. She struggled for a moment pushing hard against the door when it wouldn't open for her. She frowned and placed the fresh sheets onto the floor. Turning once more to the door she gripped the handle and twisted but it wouldn't budge. Hermione placed her hands on her hips as though the door was purposefully being difficult.

"What is wrong with you?" she questioned the door before trying the handle once more, giving a jiggle and putting her weight against the door, "What on earth..."

She looked around to check that she was alone and pulled out her wand, she wasn't concerned that the students would report her to Umbridge but it was always better to be careful especially around any portraits. The portraits however were all sound asleep and the Gryffindors had made sure to remove any feline portraits long ago, or at least cover them with spare pillow cases or even dirty clothes. It wasn't exactly a good look having clothes and odd pieces of clothing hanging off the walls but then again it was better than feeling like Umbridge was looking over your shoulder all the time. She wasn't sure how much difference it made since Umbridge seemed to have eyes everywhere but at least it gave the Gryffindors some sense of control over the hopeless situation that they all found themselves in.

Pushing a stray lock of hair out of her eyes Hermione turned to the door and pointed her wand at the lock.

"Alohomora."

Some sparks fizzled in the lock but the door simply refused to open.

Hermione had simply been irritated at the door but now she was strating to worry about Lena. She knocked on the door rapidly.

"Lena. Lena are you in there? Are you alright?"

Silence.

"Lena!" she said more insistently knocking on the door loudly, "Lena are you in there?!"

"What's going on?" a sleepy voice said from beside her as a few doors along the corridor opened and curious faces looked out into the hallway.

Hermione saw Ginny yawning and scratching her messy hair.

"Why are you shouting," her friend asked her.

"I can't get the door to open and Lena won't answer me."

"Have you tried the servants door?" Ginny suggested.

"I'll -" Hermione began to reach for the door knob to give it one last go before following Ginny suggestion but her hands gripped air.

The two girls stared at Lena's door, actually without the door handle it just looked like another empty wall. Were it not for the painted decorations on the door, you would have hardly have noticed that should have been a door there.

"What's going on?" Ginny said, her voice taking on a more serious tone.

"I don't know," Hermione said slowly.

"Are you guys alright?" Anna said walking towards them with a few more second year girls.

"Just stay here for now in case Lena comes out of the room," Hermione ordered them, "Ginny and I will go and see if we get into the room some other way."

The girls nodded and moved to watch over Lena's door.

"I should tell Ron and Harry, they would want to know if something strange was going on."

"Especially, Harry," Ginny agreed following Hermione down the steps before realising she was still in her pajama's and had bed-hair, "You tell the boys, I'll see if I can get into Lena's room from the outside portrait.

Hermione nodded her head and ran up to the boys dormitory.

Hermione felt a spark of panic she had felt when she couldn't get into Lena's room begin to ignite into a fire of fear as multiple horror scenarios crossed her mind. After everything that had happened, was it possible that some of the D.A. students were going to take matters into their own hands? Had Lena been kidnapped and questioned by the other students, she didn't think it was possible but this era ruled over by the Malfoy's and Professor Umbridge had brought out the worst in people.

She barely knocked on the door of the boys dorm before running inside, other than almost tripping over someone stray shoe, Hermione found the boys still sleeping in their beds. She moved over to Ron instantly and hesitated a moment before she began shaking his shoulder to wake up.

"Ron," she whispered shaking him a little harder when he turned on his side away from her and continued snoring, "Ron wake up!"

"What's going on?" she heard a tired voice say from behind her.

"Neville," Hermione said in relief, "it's Lena she's gone. She's not in her room and I was afraid - "

Looking at Neville's face she felt some of her initial panic dissipate.

'Calm down,' she heard a voice inside her voice say soothingly.

She took a deep breath and looked up at Neville again, the boy was rubbing his sleepy eyes but was clealry waiting for her to continue her explaination.

"Nevermind," she said after a moment, "Sorry to wake you, its nothing that can't wait."

She knew she was lying but it wouldn't do to have them all panic, there could be a perfectly logically explaination and for all she knew Ginny had been able to get into the room by now.

Neville looked at her doubtfully before nodding his head and walking back to his own bed and falling asleep.

She turned round to look at Ron snoring. She quickly pulled out her little notebook and pen that Zacharias had instructed to keep with her at all times. She scribbled a note for Ron telling him that she would be searching the school for Lena and she would meet him before breakfast to tell him what she could find out.

She folded the note and placed it on top of his clean school clothes so that he would see it. She considered something for a moment and then made a duplicate note and placed it on the bedside table next to Harry, just in case.

She was just about to leave when Ginny burst into the room.

"The portrait is gone!" Ginny said breathing heavily.

"Inna minute mum," groaned Ron putting a pillow over his ears before continued to snore loudly.

"Ronald Wealey you get up this minute do you understand me!" Hermione heard herself say in a completely foreign and commanding voice.

Harry was soon sitting up in his bed looking at her in confusion.

"Hermione wha - Ginny?!" Harry's voice became suddenly high pitched when he saw Ginny standing at the foot of his bed and he coughed in embarrasement before clearing his throat, "What's happened?"

Hermione felt her body move of its own volition as she pulled the pillow from Ron's fingers and began beating him with it.

"Get. Up. This. Instant." she said punctuating each word with a thwack of the pillow.

"Alright, alright, you lunatic," Ron said trying to defend himself while sitting up in the bed, "You're acting like my mother."

She thought she heard Harry groan at Ron's words but she didn't quite hear as she gave Ron one final twack with the pillow before dropping it into his lap.

"We can't get into Lean's room and she's not answering us."

That got both their attentions.

"Maybe she's just sleeping and can't hear you," Ron suggested.

"Some people do get up early for class you know," Hermione glared at him, "And this is serious."

"Maybe..." they turned when Seamus voice interrupted them.

"What?" the group asked him simultaneously.

"Th-that was nothing," Neville said quickly giving Seamus a pointed look, "I'm sure it was nothing."

"What was nothing?" Harry questioned them both as he got up out of bed, "What did you guys see."

"Nothing," Neville repeated though he looked less certain this time, "I mean...she is a Slytherin after all."

Hermione moved to stand up for her friend but Ron grabbed her arm as he moved to stand next to her. She would recall this moment later on as the first time she's seen Ron shirtless since their failed snogging session and well her numerous Shell Cottage dreams - memories, memories that's what they were. But in that moment all she could think about was her friend who was missing and who could be being tortured for information at this very moment.

"She was just talking to group of Slytherin's," Seamus provided rolling his eyse at Nevilles bumbling attempt to explain to them what he had seen.

"That's not weird, I mean she probably has some Slytherin friends right?" Harry said hopefully but when he saw the look on her face he faltered.

"It wasn't just any Slytherin's," Seamus continued, "It was Malfoy."

"When was this?" Ron said instantly moving around the room to hurriedly put on his school clothes.

"Yesterday night," Neville provided, "I really didn't think much of it until now."

"What if he's kidnapped her and torturing her for information," Hermione said her voice taking on a strained and high pitiched sound.

Ron was by her side instantly.

"Calm down," he said grabbing her by the arms and forcing her to look him striaght in the eyes, "We're going to find her and she's going to be fine."

She felt a warm sensation surround her as though she was being wrapped up in a warm fuzzy blanket. She nodded her head in agreement.

"She's going to be fine," Hermione said dreamily.

"What are you doing," Ginny said breaking the spell and pushing Ron away from Hermione.

"She's not going to be much help if she's panicking," Ron retorted though he looked slightly guitly which Hermione couldn't quite understand.

"If we didn't have to look for Lena right now I would slap you," Ginny said hautily before marching herself and Hermione out of the room, "We're going to meet in the common room and then we're going to search for Lena."

Hermione simply followed Ginny's lead.

"Ginny - Ginny calm down - Lena is fine..."

Ginny huffed and turned around on the spot to look at Hermione snapping her fingers in front of her eyes.

"Wake up Hermione - Ron used ..." Ginny faltered and looked around the room before pulling Hermione out of the room, "One minute," she ordered the boys before pulling Hermione along with her to the common room.

"Snap out of it Hermione," Ginny said turning around on the spot to look at her.

"I don't know what you -" Hermione faltered, with each step away from the boys dorm and from Ron she felt the happy calming sensation slowlyd dissapear, like a curtain slowly being pulled apart. She stared at her friend horrified, "Did Ron just -"

Ginny nodded grimly.

"I think he's using Efynsien's powers. We need to talk about this," Ginny whispered when they heard the boys descending the staircase, "Meet Harry and I later in the usual place."

Hermione nodded her head just as Ron and Harry appeared beside them.

"Ginny you're not going to change?" Harry wondered aloud looking from Ginny's fluffy lionhead's slippers, her red checkered pajama bottoms and singlet.

"Someone is missing Harry," Ginny said in exasperation, "So no, I'm not going to go and powder my noise."

"I didn't mean it like that -"

"I was thinking," Hermione began interrupting the two, "Maybe one of us go and get Ernie, he would want to know."

"We'd cover more ground if we split up," Ron suggested before frowning as though he hand't actually meant to say that at all. Hermione nodded, hesitating a second wondering if he was using Efynsien's mind control over her but she dismissed it for the moment, it was after all a good idea. She would consider Ron's strange expression later, for now she just wanted to find her friend.

"I'll start in the Great Hall, maybe she just went down for a really early breakfast," Hermione explained because it was still a possibility, doubtful as it may be that Lena would wonder off on her own without a word and locking the door to her room. Maybe when they first met Lena would have done something like that but now, now they were friends and she knew Lena would know how worried Hermione would be if she just up and dissapeared.

"Wait," Ron stopped them all as they were turning to leave as though a thought just occured to him, "Harry why don't you just use the map?"

"What map?" Hermione questioned.

Harry looked like he wanted to hit himself for not thinking of doing that sooner and he pulled out a folded piece of parchment from his pocket. He whispered something under his breath and tapped the parchment before unfolding it on an empty nearby table. They all crowded around and stared at the parchment. Hermione gaped at the piece of paper as ink began appearing and swirling around the parchment to create a perfect replica of the Hogwarts grounds.

"What -"

"There!" Ron cut her off pointing at a tiny spot moving around near the bottome of the parchment.

"But that's..." Hermione trailed off, "No...she couldn't be there..."

Harry frowned at the parchment but didn't say anything, Hermione knew she had one chance to convince him that what he was thinking was wrong but what could she say, the evidence was pointing them right in the face.

"The map is lying," she said instantly when Harry and Ron shared a significant look.

"The map never lies," Harry replied looking at her with pity, "I'm sorry Hermione..."

"No," she said in barely a whisper a hand moving up to cover her horrified face, "She must be in trouble, the kidnapped her -"

"Or," Ginny said placing a hand on Hermione shoulder, "She just went to where she belonged."

Hermione shook her head still not believing what she was seeing.

"No."

She stared down at the map once more. A little dot with the name 'Helena Lawson' floating above it was moving around the Slytherin dormitory. Lena had returned to Slytherin house.

* * *

She entered the Great Hall with the others, all them tensed but continued walking when the saw Lena sitting at the Slytherin table surrounded by the same girls who had bullied her not so long ago. Hermione wanted to run over and rescue her friend because there was no way that she had agreed to go back to Slytherin voluntarily. When Ron, Harry and Ginny sat down at the Gryffindor table she noticed a few other students staring at Lena and whispering loudly.

"I knew it," one Ravenclaw student said from behind Hermione.

"Slytherin through and throuh," another said.

Hermione felt her cheeks burn with anger.

She tore her eyes away from Lena when silence fell. She turned to see what everyone was staring at, Ernie was standing at the entrance to the Great Hall all colour drained from his face as he looked at Lena. Hermione could almost see the shock, horror and confusion cross his face as well as anger. Andrea stepped into the room beside him and asked him a question but when he didn't answer she followed his gaze and her eyes widened at what she saw. Zacharias Smith was staring at Lena as well before he leaned forward and whispered into Andrea's ear, she shook her head and he frowned before turning and leaving the Great Hall. Andrea shot him an annoyed look before trying to drag Ernie towards the Hufflepuff table but Ernie tore his arm free and marched over to the Slytherin table.

All the members of the D.A in the Great Hall followed his movements a few reaching under their tables as though grabbing their wands just in case something happened to Ernie. He was a few steps away from Lena when some Slytherin boys suddenly stood up and blocked his path.

"Get out of here McMillan," one of the taller boys said, he looked to be a sixth year student and had that Slytherin sneer down pat.

"Out of my way Marcus" Ernie gritted out trying to push past them but they grabbed him by the collar and pushed him away, Ernie tripped but remained upright.

The Hufflepuffs were on their feet instantly upon seeing Ernie being pushed by the older Slytherin's. The Slytherin's in turn laughed at the Hufflepuffs.

"Better watch it Flint some badgers are getting a bit huffy, might end up with a paper cut," A fellow Slytherin chortled causing more laughter from the Slytherin table.

Ernie was clearly trying to keep his cool and Hermione could see his chest rise and fall rapidly.

"Lena," he began.

"Lena," the Slytherin's sang in unison.

She could see Ernie's jaw clench from where she stood on the other side of the room. But he perservered rather than rise to the Slytherin's taunts.

"May I talk with you outside," Ernie said through gritted teeth.

All eyes turned to Lena who had been sitting swirling her cereal around her bowl.

"No," was her reply.

Ernie frowned, stepped forward but was once again stopped by the two Slytherin boys.

"It's important," Ernie continued with clearly repressed anger.

"No."

"Len -"

"I never want to see you or talk to you again," Lena cut Ernie off, "I hate you, I've always hated you."

Ernie's eyes widened in shock and he gaped at Lena as though she had just slapped him across the face. He opened his mouth to say something but Lena didn't give him a chance.

"This is what you deserve Ernest MacMillan," Lena continued her face contorting into someone Hermoine couldn't even recognise, "I have everything I want and now have no further use for you."

Ernie remained silent. Hermione expected him to shout or even punch the Slytherin's standing in his way but all he said was,

"I understand," before walking out of the Great Hall.

The Slytherin's around Lena patted her on the back.

"It's good to have you back Helena," one of the girls said squeezing Lena's shoulder's.

Hermione saw a flicker of something in Helena's eyes when the girl touched her and called her by her proper name, the name only her father called her, but the moment quickly passed and Lena nodded her head and continued her breakfast.

Hermione turned back around to find Harry gripping a tiny scrap of paper in his clenched fist.

"What'st that?" she whispered to Harry.

"Emergency D.A meeting this afternoon," Harry explained pocket the piece of parchement, "Neville just passed the note to me."

Hermione nodded her head as she glanced around the room. Several Gryffindor had stood up and were leaving the Great Hall looking at Lena in disgust and contempt. She didn't wonder, Gryffindors had been the majority of her supporters and Gryffindors didn't take likely to being betrayed by one of their own - or in Lena's case, someone who they had taken in as one of their own.

Hermione meanwhile was still in a state of disbelief, she couldn't believe that this was actually happening. There had be an explaination for it, there just had to be. Lena couldn't be the spy, she couldn't have gone back to the Slytherin's with information on all of them.

She just couldn't.

* * *

**_Lance,_**

**_Its funny how you think you know someone but then they end up showing you a side of them that you never knew existed._**

**_~H._**

* * *

Hermione sat in the corner of the room watching the D.A. members or what was left of them, many having decided that it was too dangerous to continue now that Lena was 'proven' to be spy. She didn't understand any of it but she knew that Lena was not the spy. She couldn't. She wouldn't. She had tried to talk to Lena but she was constantly surrounded by Slytherin's and since her engagement with Ron had apparently been broken off, there was no legitimate reason for Hermione to talk to her.

She caught Ginny's eye and nodded her head towards the door. Ginny nodded her head in response, a grim expression on her face.

She really couldn't do much to help right now. Most of the members of the D.A. didn't trust her words anymore than they could Lena at the moment and who could blame them. She had used the last remaining shred of trust that they had held in Hermione and used it to support someone who they now all believed beyond doubt to be a traitor.

She wanted to be angry or hurt but all she felt was confusion.

She turned a corner and slowed as she headed outside into the empty courtyard. It was almost midnight, she wouldn't get in trouble being a servant she could walk around without much suspicion. She moved to a stone bench and sat down staring up at the night sky. A sudden movement out of the corner of her eye startled her and she reached for her wand in her skirt pocket. She wouldn't risk showing whoever it was that she was armed because she as a servant she wasn't even supposed to own a wand.

When the person stepped out of the shadows and towards her she released a sigh of relief.

"Ron you scared me," she said releasing her hold on her wand and moving to sit back down.

Ron stopped a few metres from where she sat.

"You have to trust me Lena is not a spy, she's my friend. I know she can't - " Hermione stopped when Ron moved and stood in front of her, "Ron?"

"No," Efynsien's voice responded.

Hermione stiffened and edged away from him. It was unnerving to see another person speak from Ron's mouth, was this how Ron felt when he talked to her? It was incredibly creepy like he was being used as a puppet by Efynsien.

"You waste your time worrying about these mortals."

Efynsien moved and sat down beside her on the bench like they did this all the time. Well technically she supposed they did but she didn't know he was Efynsien at the time.

"How are you here?" she questioned him, "Ron's medication -"

"We agreed to those ridiculous healers demands so that they would release us from that farce of a hospital."

"Why are you still possessing Ron's body? Just let him go."

Efynsien laughed at her in response.

"Takes one to know one sis," Efynsien smiled at her, she wanted to slap him if only to get him to stop smiling at her with Ron's trademark crooked smile.

She pulled her arms around herself to avoid touching the person next to her.

"What do you want?"

"Only to help you darling sister," Efynsien continued seeming to enjoy the effect he was having on her.

"How? By possessing someone I care about?"

"By helping you let go of this mortal shackle you have bound yourself to."

Hermione frowned at him. Was he serious, did he know how to get Hermione back. If this was true then why didn't he already tell Ron all of this? She asked him as much.

"We can't communiate directly," Efynsien explained looking away from her and instead to his or rather Rons hands, inspecting them, "When I'm out here, he's in - well let's just say he's elsewhere."

Hermione remembered the passageway inside Ron's mind where the other Hermione was trapped.

"How do I free Hermione?" She knew that the key Hermione had given to her was important but there was no way she was telling Efynsien anything, she may feel a familiarity with him but that didn't mean she trusted him.

Efynsien looked like he had been waiting for her to ask him that exact question, he reached inside Ron's cloak and lifted a silver dagger. He held the dagger towards her but she just stared at it blankly.

Rolling his eyes at her, he grabbed her hand and placed the handle of the small dagger in her fingers. She swallowed nervously.

"What do I do with this?"

"You want to bring Hermione back?"

She nodded.

He lifted her hand and moved to face her fully. He shifted his position and moved towards her until the tip of the blade touched Ron's chest directly above his heart.

"Then push."

Hermione gasped and tried to drop the dagger as though it were burning hot but Efynsien's grip on her hand was firm.

"Let go!" she insisted trying to pull her hand away while trying not to hurt Ron, "I would never hurt Ron."

"It is the most efficient way to end this."

"What does that even mean? Why can't you just tell me what this all means?!"

"The spell which you so sloppily performed sister dear was a protection spell."

Hermione nodded in agreement, though the sloppy part wasn't really under her control, it was Ron who had interrupte the spell.

"The terms of the agreement?"

Hermione considered for a moment.

"To keep Ron and my friends safe," she said slowly.

Efynsien nodded urging her to continue.

"If any of them were kille-" the answer was slowly dawning on her and her eyes widened as she looked at Efynsien, "no, it can't be - there must be another way to end it."

"I didn't make the terms of agreement, that was you sister."

Efynsien moved as though he were going to leave her, she reached out with the dagger free hand to stop him.

"And you?"

"What about me?"

"Why are you still possessing Ron? Isn't your time in his body over?"

Efynsien cocked an eyebrow at her.

"And how would you know about the agreement sister?"

Hermione quickly released her grip on him as he leaned forward to stare at her suspciously.

"Apparently I am not the only one who likes to walk around people's heads."

With those words he turned and dissapeared back into the shadows before she could think of how to respond.

When he was gone she stared down at the dagger in her hand.

Was this the only way to bring Herminoe back?

* * *

"Are you alright?"

Hermione started and turned around from where she sat in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room to see Ginny walking slowly towards her. Ginny stood in front of her in pyjama's that had little owls on them, her red hair a mess of tangles.

"When I didn't see you after the meeting I started to get worried," Ginny continued sitting down beside her, "Eversince you spoke to Efynsien you've seemed distant."

Hermione bit her lip before lifting the dagger from beside her and showed Ginny. Ginny lifted it from Hermione's hands and looked at it.

"Efynsien said if I wanted to bring Hermione back -" she took a deep breath and looked away from her friend, "If I want Hermione back then I have to...have to kill one of my friends."

Ginny remained silent.

The fire crackled in front of them.

"Are you certain?" Ginny questioned her, "Maybe you don't have to kill one of us, you could just hurt us and -"

"No," Hermione said in a soft voice, "Those were the terms of the agreement between me and Hermione."

"So...Hermione did all this to protect us all," Ginny said slowly placing the knife on the floor in front of then, the firelight reflected in its sharp blade, "I don't understand could you even do anything to protect us?"

When Hermione turned to look at her Ginny continued.

"I mean there has to be a reason why you were the only ancient being to respond to Hermione's spell right? I mean, I'm her friend, I know Hermione, she wouldn't just do something without thinking it through a million times over...and if she did this to protect us that must mean that you would be able to protect us somehow if ever we were in danger."

Hermione considered this for a moment.

"Or it could just be like a protection charm," she countered, "I don't feel powerful, I just feel like a normal human."

"Yeah but Ron said you burst out of the Lake and you should have drowned you were under so long...I mean it's not impossible that you could have some power right?"

"I don't know Ginny," she said uncertainly, "What does this have to do with getting Hermione back?"

"Nothing - or perhaps everything..." Ginny trailed off, "Either way Hermione risked her life to get you here, I don't know if we should be in such a hurry to separate you two."

"What happened at the meeting anyway?"she questioned feeling the need to change the subject.

Ginny sighed blowing some hair out her face.

"They think Lena's the spy and its hard to argue against their reasoning, I mean we all saw her sitting with the Slytherins."

"The way she was talking to Ernie," Hermione said slowly, "I just can't believe she would say that to him, she loves him."

"Wait - what?"

Hermione gasped and clamped a hand over her mouth.

Ginny gaped at her.

"And you didn't tell me this before?"

"Ginny it wasn't my secret to tell."

Ginny frowned and nodded her head.

"I can understand how she feels but..." another sigh, "I can't believe she would betray us like this...guess you really never know people -"

"No Ginny," Hermione stopped Ginny from continuing, "I know Lena is not the spy."

"But how can you be so sure?" her friend looked at her sceptically.

"I-I just do, she's my friend and I believe in her," Hermione replied fiercely.

A small smile appeared on Ginny's face and she looked back at the fire.

"When you talk like that, its hard for me to remember that you're not Hermione."

Hermione felt the slow sinking and cold sensation she got whenever someone directly reminded her that she wasn't Hermione, like she was the stand-in for the star of the show. The little knawing feeling she had had eversince she first spoke to Efynsien came to the surface as she looked at Ginny.

"I'm scared Ginny," Hermione confessed, "I'm starting to feel like there's nothing seperating Hermione and I...what if there really is no way to bring h34 back. I don't want to spend the rest of my life apologising because I inadvertantly condemned Hermione to a life in some unknown abyss."

"I didn't realise you thought of it like that," Ginny said softly.

"Don't you?"

"I thought you liked being human and wanted to stay for as long as you could," Ginny mumbled picking at some invisible lint on her owl pyjama's.

"Well I don't want to steal someone else life or make everyone around me miserable to do it. And I mean...you want Hermione back don't you?"

"Well, of course I want Hermione back," Ginny replied without hesitation but then she turned and looked back at the fire, "that would be brilliant, I miss her but...sometimes when I look at you and talk to you its almost like I am talking to Hermione..."

They fell silent once more.

"Besides," Ginny continued after a few minutes of silence had elapsed between them, "Even if she comes back, Ron is - he's so different I don't know if they could even be together like they were before."

"I think they could," Hermione supplied, "It may not be easy but I think they would figure it out, they are both very strong people and they love each other so passionately."

Ginny crinkled her nose at that.

"Please don't use '_passionate_' and my brother in the same sentence."

Hermione giggled and Ginny joined her.

"It must be weird walking around with another person's memories," Ginny commented some time later.

"It is sometimes, well a lot of time but...as time has gone on its almost like Hermione's memories have become the dominant one. I remember a lot more about her life and you all but it still feels like I'm watching another's persons life play out in front of me like a movie. I'm a spectator not an active participant."

"Hmm..." Ginny said thoughtfully with a yawn.

"You should get back to bed."

Ginny nodded sleepily before getting up and walking to the girls staircase.

"Hey Hermione?"

Hermione turned to look at Ginny.

"Yes Ginny?"

Ginny simply smiled and shook her head before walking up the stairs to the girls dormitory, leaving Hermione to her thoughts.

* * *

**_Everyday that passes its like I'm slowly having to say goodbye to all these people I have come to love and care about. But when the time comes am I strong enough to do what it takes to leave them behind?_**

* * *

The D.A. numbers were dwindling but the days were actually starting to get back to normal. It was strange watching Lena sit at the Slytherin table surrounded and yet completley isolated. Hermione would often note how Ernie had taken to not eating in the Great Hall. She wondered if he was eating anything at all until she saw Andrea walking to the Hufflepuff common room with a basket of food.

Andrea, Hermione was surprised to find out was still on the 'Lena is not a spy' camp, Hermione had felt quite a lone until Andrea knocked a Ravenclaw on his arse when he said some not so nice words about Lena. She wondered why Andrea was suddenly so supportive of Lena and still going to see Ernie when she had heard from Lavender that they had actually broken up a few weeks earlier. No drama, no big break up scene in the middle of the Great Hall, they apparently just ended things amicably and continued on as friends.

It made Hermione wonder how much she really knew about anyone at Hogwarts. So many people just assumed the worse of some while placing others on pedestals. It just made everything so difficult and she wished that they wouldn't do it. It was at moments like these as she watched the students moving around the school and school life return to normality that she felt herself becoming more disconnected from everyone. It wasn't like she was intentionally cutting herself off, in fact she and Ginny had become much closer over the last week or so, and even Ron talked to her sometimes, though they avoided the heated topics, like Efynsien since his face turned to stone everytime she had tried to bring up her brother.

No, it wasn't the people but rather this life. Eversince she had spoken to Efynsien its almost like something inside her broke free and she was begining to realise that she really didn't belong here. This life really wasn't her's and what scared her the most was that she was beginning to think that that was okay. She had even thought that she would be content if Hermione returned because she had been given this chance to live again, to love and experience life.

It was all hypothetical of course, considering the huge roadblock in the way.

Because there was no way in hell she was going to hurt let alone kill one of her friends to bring Hermione back. She couldn't do it and she knew Hermione wouldn't want her to risk the life of one of her friends so she could come back. Even though she hadn't seen Hermione since she had spoken to Efynsien, she felt Hermione with her now, almost like Hermione was occupying the same space as her, in her mind.

All this time of quiet contemplation and normalacy was of course shattered by Umbridge. It started out so gradually however that it took them a few days to realise what she was really doing.

* * *

Hermione was once more sitting in front of the fireplace as the other students slept. It was just past two in the morning and she was staring at the blade of the dagger Efynsien had given her when someone spoke from behind her. She had to catch herself before she cut her hand on the blade as Harry walked over and sat on leaning against a nearby armchair.

"I didn't think anyone would be here," he said morosely rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"You alright Harry?"

He didn't reply and she continued to look at him in concern.

"Is that it then?" He said after a long silence had elapsed and she had begun to wonder if he had fallen asleep. He had nodded to the dagger in her hand and she nodded her head grimly and Harry reached out his hand towards her. She hesitated a moment and quickly shealthed the dagger before handing it over to Harry. She wasn't going to lie, it made her quite sick to see one of her friends holding something which she was apparently supposed to kill them with. She turned away at the sight of Harry turning the dagger over in his hand.

"Harry," she said slowly when he didn't speak for quite some time, she turned to look at him seriously, "What's wrong?"

He frowned at the dagger and avoided looking at her.

"Have you seen this?" he pulled out a folded piece of parchment from the pocket of his robe and handed it to her.

It was one of Umbridge ridiculous decree's this one about teacher's not being allowed to teach beyond the subjects which they were paid to teach. It was irritating but nothing more than what was expected of Umbridge, she looked up at Harry and wondered why this time he was letting that awful woman get to him.

"It's about Lupin," Harry said taking the dagger from its shealth and looking at the markings on the blade, "What's this?"

"Just some druid words," she explained, "something about the elements working as one or something like that - but Harry why do you think this is about Lupin?"

She held the notice up and reread the words, "He doesn't even work here anymore."

Harry nodded his head slowly.

"But he does come to the meetings sometimes to teach us still..." he hesitated and looked up at her as though he knew how she was going to respond to whatever he was about to say, "If...Lena -"

"Harry," Hermione said in a warning tone, "You know she wouldn't and besides she wasn't even there when Lupin was teaching us."

"But we didn't exactly keep it a secret that he was teaching us spells and she was there when Tonks came to teach us those basic defensive positions," Harry looked up at Hermione finally with conviction in his eyes, "It's not just us anymore, all the students who were there when she was Hermione, if anything were to happen to them it would be my fault."

Hermione remained silent looking at the fire once more.

"And its not just that," Harry sighed shifting so he was sitting beside her now, "I've been talking to Luna..."

"About publishing your story in the Quibbler?"

"How'd you know about that?" Harry said in surprise.

"I actually asked her some time ago about it when her Dad printed that editorial about you. I asked her how many people were subsribed to the Quibbler and whether they were aware how dangerous it was to print those types of articles in this - environment...she was oddly cavalier about the whole thing. You're not upset are you, I just thought that it was about time that people heard your side of the story," She turned to look at Harry, "I know how it feels to have people make assumptions about you before they really get to know you...I was starting to get worried that after last year and Cedric that you'd want people to know the truth."

Harry looked at her in surprise.

"I wouldn't think you'd know about Cedric."

"More and more each day," she said slowly, "There's very little I don't remember about Hermione's life. I know that she and Ron were worried sick about you while you were in the Quidditch Cup."

Harry slumped his shoulders and kicked the edge of the rug absentedly.

"It's the reason she did the spell in the first place wasn't it," he said softly.

She didn't want to lie so she sighed and nodded.

"One of the reasons, yes," before she added quickly, "But you shouldn't blame yourself, she just wanted to protect you, you're her friend Harry she just wanted you all to be safe and after everything that happened to her, I think she felt so helpless. They both did."

"I think I was angry with for a long time," Harry said quietly, "Why must you and Ron put yourselves in danger because of me."

"It's no more than you would do for them - for us," she ameneded quickly, "You're a good person Harry."

"I don't feel like a good person...sometimes I feel..."

She waited for him to continue but he just shook his head and stood up from his seat beside her.

"I'm going back to bed, see if I can get some sleep."

Hermione nodded and watched him walk away from her. She had noted how tired he was looking these past few days, she wondered if she should ask Ron about it. Harry mentioned that he had been seeing Voldermort in his dreams, but she suspected it might be something more than that that kept her friend from sleeping.

"You waste time regretting what has yet to pass."

Hermione started and stood up to find Efynsien watching her from his perch of a nearby windowsill. He was half hidden in shadow and she couldn't stop the shiver that ran up her spine as she wondered how long he had been sitting there watching her.

"How else am I supposed to react?" she questioned after regaining her composure.

Efynsien jumped off the window sill and walked towards her making her tense on instinct, he noticed and paused behind the worn sofa. He placed his arms on the back of the chair and looked at her steadily.

"What is one life comapred to yours?"

"Everything, when it is the life of someone I love."

"You make the same mistake time and again sister," Efynsien says a mixture of frustration and confusion on his face, "You feel such things too much. If you had not mourned our father's death the first time you would not have died of a broken heart on the shores of our home."

"It was not his death but yours that I mourned," Hermione frowning as the words left her mouth, as though she was just coming to that realisation herself.

Efynsien narrowed his eyes at her and pushed back from the chair.

"You must kill one of them and I offer you this body in return for yours."

"And Ron is okay with this is he?" she bit back.

"I believe he is willing."

"But you cannot be sure," Hermione countered stepping towards him before continuing, "I will tell you what I know - brother..."

He locked eyes with her and she hesitated a second before continuing under his intense gaze.

"A life without the person you love is no life at all, it will be painful and every day will be a trial. Do you think that after suffering that fate myself I would inflict it on another?"

"These humans will all fade with time and you will forget them, why worry yourself over the lives of these little creatures."

"Because they deserve our compassion not our contempt..." she trailed off when she saw something flicker in Efynsien's eyes.

"I know of your compassion, I was but a dog to our father and yet you treated me with kindness..." Efynsien stepped towards her and placed his palm on her cheek, "If what you seek is to help these creatures then I will help you."

Hermione smiled hesitantly up at him still uncertain at his intimate behaviour.

"But know this," Efynsien continued dropping his hand, "What I have said is the truth, the only way to break the spell is for one of them to fall, and you must do so before it is too late."

"Too late?"

"The spell you cast was incomplete," Efynsien explained looking at her as though he was surprised she did not already know this, "If you stay any longer in that body, there will no longer be anything seperating what is you, Branwyn, and what is Hermione."

Hermione swallowed.

"Is that why I haven't seen Hermione...because we are merging into one entity?"

Efynsien didn't reply he just looked at her seriously before turning his face away from her.

"I must go, this body needs rest," he said before he shifted out view and she saw him reappear on the balcony abover her as he walked to the boys dormitory.

"Heed my warning sister, time is not your friend."

When he was gone, Hermione felt the strength leaver her legs and she collapsed to the floor. She held her head in desperation.

"I have to kill one of my friends or Hermione and I will ceast to exist as seperate entities?"

She picked up the dagger and stared at it in disbelief.

"There must be another way."

* * *

**_L,_**

**_I am faced with an impossible choice, Lance. _**

**_I was willing to leave all those I have come to cherish and yet to achieve my goal comes at too great a price. What should I do?_**

**_H._**

* * *

"Hermione?"

Hermione turned from where she sat beside Harry, assisting him in his preparations for O.W.L exams when the young first year, Amy, interrupted her.

"Yes?" she said putting down her quill and turning to look at the short haired brunette first year.

"I was told to pass this to you," Amy said handing over a small folded piece of parchment.

"Thank you," she smiled at the young girl and Amy nodded her head before walking back to her friends reading near the fireplace.

"What is it?" Ginny questioned looking up from her textbook when Hermione had read and placed the note inside her pocket.

"I have to go," she said standing up and grabbing her cloak.

"Are you alright?" Ron said gripping his pencil in his hand.

"It's fine," Hermione said quickly, "I have to talk to someone."

Ron raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'll be fine."

When she saw his jaw tighten she quickly added,

"If I'm not back in half and hour come to the courtyard behind the D.A.D.A classrooms."

Ron furrowed his brow but nodded his head in ascent and she attempted a brief smile before turning and making her way out of the common room. She didn't look back but she swore she could feel three pairs of eyes following her as she left.

She reached the empty courtyard, it was completely deserted except for a lone figure sitting on a stone bench across the courtyard. Hermione hugged her cloak tighter and made her way towards the figure.

"You wanted to see me?"

Andrea looked up at Hermione and handed her a disposable cup often used in muggle coffee shops. Hermione took the cup, which warmed her hands. She didn't know how Andrea had gotten the drinks, which smelled suspiciously like mocha latte's but she sipped drinks gratefully and took a seat beside the girl.

"Your note said you had something to tell me about Lena?"

"You look ill," Andrea said bluntly sipping on her own drink.

"Uh, thanks," Hermione replied regretting her decision to meet this girl.

"No," Andrea corrected herself having caught Hermione's tone, "You've been looking ill and pale as though you've been worried about Lawson."

"Okay," Hermione said slowly, "So you thought you'd invite me out here for some coffee?"

Andrea smirked and glanced at Hermione.

"You're not my type," making Hermione realised how her words must have sounded.

"That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant," Andrea continued, "I thought you'd like to know that she's doing fine - well obviously not fine but she's not being bullied by the Slytherins and she..."

Andrea trailed off frowning down at her cup.

"She has a good reason for what she's doing," Andrea stood up abruptly, "I just thought you'd like to know that you weren't wrong about her, she's not the traitor."

Hermione watched the girl in astonishment.

"I didn't think you'd care about me or Lena -" she cut herself off when Andrea raised an eyebrow at her.

"It's just," Hermione continued when Andrea continued to look at her unimpressed, "Well you don't know me and I thought you didn't like Lena."

"I don't hate Lawson," Andrea gave Hermione an odd look, "I have no reason to hate her - I don't like how she treats Ernie but that doesn't mean I hate her. We've known each other since we were children, I know how she is."

Hermione looked at Andrea in surprise.

"You were friends with her since you were kids?"

"We weren't friends, but our parents moved in the same social circles, so we would often see one another."

"There was that time you bullied her?"

Andrea looked at Hermione in confusion now.

"What are you talking about?"

"When you were maybe eight, didn't you bully her and push her into a water fountain?"

Andrea blinked at Hermione before a look of realisation dawned on her face.

"We were just stupid kids," she folded her arms and looked at Hermione sternly, "And what? because of one act of stupidity you assume that I'm a bully?

How do you even know about that?" Andrea continued when Hermione didn't reply, "Merlin that was so long ago, I had forgotten all about it."

Andrea was quiet for a moment as though recollecting some other memory.

"Anyway," Andrea waved her hand as though to dismiss the memory, "Lawson and I have made amends and in fact I've been trying to help her."

"With what?"

Andrea started as though she hadn't intended to let that fact slip.

"What has she told you about Ernie?" Andrea said cautiously taking a seat once more.

Hermione herself was cautious.

"Do you mean how she feels towards him?"

Both girls seems reluctant to let slip anything that the other didn't know about and there was a long pause in the conversation before Andrea broke it.

"You do know how she feels about him don't you?"

Hermione nodded her head slowly, not wanting to say the words aloud.

"And the reason she doesn't want to get involved with Ernie, who she's been in love with probably since they were born."

Hermione eased slightly at the words, so Andrea did know about Lena's feelings towards Ernie.

"Is that why you guys broke up?"

Andrea frowned at Hermione before sighing.

"Yes and no," Andrea took another sip of her drink before placing the cup down on the bench between them, "I am not as much a fool as people seem to think, I know Ernie cares for me but he doesn't love me...no, that's unfair to Ernie, perhaps he loves me but he is not _in_ love with me. Do you know what I mean?"

Hermione looked away from Lena and considered her relationship with Ron.

"I think I do."

"I don't want to be with someoe who isn't in love with me but I also didn't want to be alone," Andrea said the last word in barely a whisper as though it were a secret, "I can't believe I'm talking to you about this, I haven't talked to anyone about why Ernie and I broke up."

"You said you were trying to help Lena?" Hermione questioned not wanting the girl to focus too much on her break up as the subject seem to drain the light from her eyes.

"Oh yes, well my father works for the Ministry of Magic," she explained burshing some dark locks of hair out of her face as she spoke, "He handles the records of all witches and wizards, their blood status, occupation what have you...nothing exciting but it does give me access to personal information of pretty much anyone."

Hermione wondered if that was how she was able to create a new identity for Zacharias Smith even though pretty much everyone knew who he was and the mysterious disappearance of his parents, no one seemed to question his presence at Hogwarts. She wanted to ask Andrea about this and how much access she had to what was surely confidential information.

"- not even related," Andrea was saying and Hermione realised that she had missed half of what Andrea had been saying.

"What?"

"I know," Andrea said half laughing and half in disbelief, "I couldn't believe it either. When I told Lawson she looked like she was going to faint but the strangest thing...she just ran off and the next I knew she was back in Slytherin house. As far as I can tell she and Ernie haven't spoken since that day in the Great hall."

"You still talk to Ernie then?"

"Of course," Andrea looked at her again almost in exasperation, "What an odd concept of relationships you must have to assume that just because people are no longer dating that they can no longer have any relationship at all."

"Well - it must be awkward to be around someone who you still care about when that person is in love with another."

"Ernie is not in love with Lawson," Andrea looked at Hermione in confusion once more, "I thought you knew? I assumed that Lawson told you."

"I mean, sure she said that Ernie only saw her as a sister but I mean...the way he looks at her sometimes and isn't that the reason you guys broke up?"

"No not at all," Andrea sighed, "I'm afraid I am a very selfish creature at heart, I broke up with Ernie because I didn't want to be with someone who wasn't in love with me, as for Ernie, he agreed to the break up but he's not in love with Lawson as far as I can tell."

"Are you sure?"

"Quite sure, I mean I can understand why you would think so but Ernie is a very kind hearted person, its his nature to care for someone who he considers as a sister..." Andrea trailed off and took a moment to consider something, "Although I suppose you can't rule it out, whenever I've asked him he has told me that he only see's Lawson as a sister, but we were dating at the time and he could hardly confess to being in love with someone else could he?"

Andrea shrugged her shoulder and looked over at Hermione.

"But this is all beside the fact, I just didn't want you worrying about Lawson, she seems content being back with the Slytherin's and I know she is not the traiter."

"And you can't tell me how you know this?"

Andrea shook her head and stood up as if to leave but Hermione hastened to stop her.

"Thanks for the coffee, and telling me about Lena, even though I can't understand why you would do so."

Andrea cocked her head to the side.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I appreciate it but we're not even friends, in fact we barely know each other, why waste your time telling me all this stuff when you didn't have to?"

"I saw someone who was sad and who obviously needed help, " Andrea folded her arms and stared at Hermione curiously, "It was the least I could do."

"Thank you," Hermione said slowly, realising just how wrong she had been about this girl.

Andrea nodded her head in acceptance.

"I'd better get back, its almost past curfew. Goodnight Granger," Andrea said before turning and walking away.

Hermione watched the Ravenclaw leave and wondered how much she really knew of anyone but took comfort that even without her presence, Lena would still have friends here at Hogwarts, people who cared about her.

* * *

"He is obviously lying," Ginny said from her seat on the floor.

She, Harry, Ron and Ginny were all in the Room of Requirement, in the library which Hermione had been translating the old druid text.

"No," Ron said looking at them seriously, "He's not."

"And you know this how?" Ginny retorted, "You're not even concious when he talks to Hermione."

Ron looked away from them before replying.

"Efynsien and I talked about it."

"How is that even possible?" Hermione questioned him shifting on the cushion she was sitting on and loking across at Ron sitting cross-legged from her.

Ron didn't reply and Hermione frowned at him.

"What. Did. You. Do," she said each word slowly and carefully because she had been suspecting for some time now that Ron had made another deal with Efynsien but had dismissed it because after everything Ron had been through because of her brother, she did not want to even think that he agreed to another deal with the immortal being.

Ron shrugged nonchalantly but when he finally looked at her his face was serious.

"I agreed to let him use my body for as long as he wanted if he could promise to bring Hermione back."

She was furious. She felt the tears and hot anger rise from within in her and she was lunging at Ron before she even realised it.

"You idiot!" she said hitting him over and over, "You - "

She felt Harry and Ginny pull her back away from Ron and she turned her head and sobbed into Ginny's shoulder.

"Look its done, it accomplises nothing by us agonising over it now," Harry said after Hermione had calmed down.

"No," she said with a hiccup looking at her friends, "You don't understand, Efynsien told me that Ron was the best option for me to kill because he would give his body willingly. I didn't believe him because I thought Ron would have more sense then that, that he wouldn't hurt Hermione by dying in order to bring her back."

She used her shirt sleeve to wipe the tears from her face.

"He used you Ron, he knew this was the only way to get Hermione back and to 'free' me," Hermione stared at Ron who was looking determinedly unashamed at his decision which angered her even more, as though he didn't care that he would be the one die to break the spell, "He tricked you."

"No, he didn't."

They all turned to stare at Ron.

"What?" Ginny said from beside Hermione in a controlled voice.

"He explained that the spell had gone wrong, that both Hermione and Branwyn conciousness were in danger of dissapearing all together."

"Do you know what he's talking about?" Ginny turned to ask her.

"I think so," Hermione nodded her head, "I remember, that memory of Hermione just after the spell had shattered her conciousness. She had to slowly piece together the fragments of her soul..."

"But she didn't do it correctly, it wasn't her fault, the spell had gone wrong," Ron continued for her as he seemed to have a greater grasp on the matter, "Efynsien told me that your combined conciousness were shattered and in an attempt not to dissapear completley you had to recreate another conciousness. One that was Hermione and one that is you."

Ron looked at her with his final words.

"Neither of you truly yourselves - you had each created something new...and now you have to restart the process, so that you could put yourselves back together properly and the only way to do that is to break the spell."

"How much time do we have?" Hermione asked Ron, still angry that he had been keeping all this information to himself and frustrated that he would willingly sacrifice himself when she had been trying to protect him from doing exactly that.

"I don't know," he answered her and she could tell by the frustrated look on his face that he was telling the truth.

"But wait," Harry said interrupting them, "I'm confused, Branwyn you said you've been seeing Hermione but Ron you also told me you've been seeing Hermione. How can you both be seeing her?"

Ron sighed and rubbed his temples.

"I think I can explain," Hermione provided, "The Hermione I've been seeing must be the parts of Hermione conciousness I inadvertantly took into myself when I recreated my new conciousness. While Ron..."

She trailed off looking at Ron, wondering if he wanted to explain the next part as it was incredibly personal.

Ron took a moment then look at them each in turn.

"The Hermione I've been seeing has been the parts of Hermione left over after she," he pointed at her and Hermione frowned at him, "recreated herself in Hermione's body."

"But why can only you see her and not any of us?" Harry questioned, his eyebrows narrowing the more he heard.

"Because...Hermione and I -" Ron trailed off mumbling something incoherent.

"What?" Ginny questioned.

Ron coughed and rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks going red as he spoke the next part,

"Hermione and I are married."

Ginny's eyes became the size of saucers and Harry just gaped at his friend, she on the oher hand had already known this and she just looked at Ron encourging him to finish.

Ron coughed and continued.

"We performed an ancient druid ritual that pretty much binds our souls for - um for eternity so even after we die, our souls will always be connected..."

"So when I was created," Hermione pointed at herself, "Whatever parts of Hermione remained naturally gravitated towards you, her earthly anchor."

"Yeah..." Ron said looking from Harry to Ginny, "Don't - don't tell mum and dad."

"That's what you're worried about right now?" Ginny erupted, "I can't believe you!"

"Um..." Harry said before gaping at Ron once more, he closed his mouth and tried to speak once more, "Uhhh...congratulations I guess."

Ron actually laughed at that, and Hermione saw some of the tension leave his body.

"It's not official," Ron explained rubbing the back of his neck in embarrasment, "its not on any official papers and I mean Hermione's still technically a servant so we can't publicise it but - in every way that matters we are already bound to each other...so -"

He cut himself off and smiled at then shepishly but the instant was quickly over and Ron's face turned serious once more.

"But if you want to know why I would willingly sacrifice my life to bring her back, that's your answer. It doesn't faze me that I will die so long as I get my Hermione back."

Hermione couldn't help but feel the sting of his words but she quickly brushed her pain aside.

"I'm not going to kill you Ron, you know its not what she would have wanted. And besides think about your family and friends, what will happen to them if you die?"

Ron looked down at the floor.

"Trust me, I have thought about it...a lot, and besides, there's no other way."

"Why? Because Efynsien says so?" Hermione shot back, "Well I for one am not givig up finding a way to end this spell without having to kill one of you, so you can stop all this talk of dying."

Ron looked at her with an odd expression.

"What?"

"Nothing, it just sometimes I forget that you have parts of Hermione in you..."

They didn't speak much after that, each of them returning to the notes on the translation of the druid text she had found. She didn't care what Efynsien or even Ron said, she wasn't going to let another person get hurt because of her.

* * *

**_H,_**

**_Sometimes there's nothing you can do help people. You just have to let them help themselves._**

**_L._**

* * *

She didn't know how long they all stayed in the library but the next thing she remembered she was being placed onto a warm bed. She felt someone's hand sweeping over her face and comforting words filling her head. She cuddled the pillow in her arms and fell asleep.

"-nger! Granger! HERMIONE WAKE UP!"

Hermione started at the sound of someone shouting her name. She stared wide-eyed at Zacharias Smith standing over her.

"What the hell!" she said leaping up so that she was sitting up on the bed, "How did you even get in here?"

"Would you shut up about that, Umbridge got into the Room of Requirment," Smith explained angrily, "She knows about the D.A."

Hermione felt her heart drop.

Umbridge had found them.

"Th-thats not possible."

"Obviously it is because she's taken all of the D.A. members to the Great Hall," Smith said running a hand through his already dishevled hair.

"Andrea?"

"Would you just get out of bed and message Dumbledore, tell him what's going on," Smith ordered her.

"How?"

Zacharias swore loudly and reached over to search her skirt.

"Hey - what the hell do you -"

He pulled the wand out of her skirt pocket and placed it in her hands.

"Send your protonus to find Dumbledore to give him the message, I would do it but I don't have my wand," Smith explained, "Tell him, Harry and Ron have been taken to Umbridge's office for interrogation."

Hermione nodded her head but her head felt like it was slowly filling up with water, she felt completley disorientated and confused. She couldn't believe that Umbridge had Ron, Harry, Ginny - oh Merlin, did she have the first years?

She shook her head tyring to dispel the panic rising within her and performed the protonus charm.

"Umbride has the D.A. members. Harry and Ron taken to Umbridge's office for interrogatin," she completed the message with a shaky voice and watched her otter patronus dissapear out through the nearby window. She collapsed back onto the bed.

"Where are you going?" she said quickly jumping off the bed when Zacharias turned to leave.

"To the Great Hall to see what they're doing to Andy," Smith said shakily, the colour gone from his cheeks and looking like he was going to be sick.

"Are you coming?"

Hermione nodded her head and quickly toed on her shoes following Zacharias down the servants stairs.

_'Ron, please be safe Ron. Merlin, no Efynsien, please Efynsien don't let anything happen to Ron.'_


End file.
