Hobbit 1. Never young

**A/N: Hello. Here is a new story, some Bilbo and Thorin story of love. We'll see how I manage to find my way through their world. I do hope to stay on course. I'll take the movie as my reference of events, their Thorin suits my purposes better :)**

**Now with enhanced experience of grammar because my excellent beta decided to join us on this trip and save you from my error ways :) She'll soon get through my mess and hopefully catch up, for now first five chapters.**

_**Beta: TattoedLibrarian (to whom I thank very much for joining us on this trip:)**_

**I do not own the characters or the story, nor am I making any money out of this. It's just fun.**

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><p>Thorin Oakenshield never was a young boy.<p>

At least he didn't remember ever being one. All he ever remembered was standing still in his father's shadow that was deeper than the shade of night because it was submerged in his grandfather's shadow.

He never thought that it was a bad thing to stand in such big shadows. There was greatness in them and he was just a smaller version that would one day cast his own onto others, hoping that he would earn the right to be just like them.

For now he stood still allowing himself just an invisible smile on his features while he examined those who bowed in front of the Arkenstone.


	2. Very young

_Beta-ed: TattoedLibrarian_

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><p>Bilbo Baggins was a very young boy.<p>

Besides being a Hobbit protected by hedges of the Shire, he was quite small for his age and too much prone to breaking the edges of the known and wandering into the wild of the untamed forest.

Luckily for him his mother was a Took and he wasn't harshly punished for his little adventures. In fact he would be greeted with a warm smile, sometimes even a giggle when he would appear proudly holding something he would consider to be an elfish artifact full of magic. She would just pick the spider webs that would be entangled in his hair and explained what he was holding.

She had no intention of disappointing the boy but she couldn't have a boy who didn't know anything of the world.

Knowledge was everything. Especially in a world that was inhabited with real magical creatures. She knew enough of the danger. And being so small they had nothing but their wits if danger came their way.

She wasn't so foolish to think that tiny fences would protect them forever. Most of the hobbits allowed themselves to become foolish. But not her son. He would know how to use his mind.

That's why she threw riddles and puzzles his way using them as a rope on which he would often trip if he wasn't careful enough. That's how he learned to watch her closely, waiting for her tricks and traps.

She was strange looking Hobbit. The one that would go as far as Bree in search of news and materials. She would often return from her little trips with strangers by her side. She was the talk of the Shire because of her tendency to befriend strangers. Sometimes she even managed to bring fireworks to their field. That was so fascinating that everyone just pretended that the tall figure behind such fun wasn't there. Bilbo on the other hand was young enough just to stare mesmerized at the shapes and colors that filled the skies.


	3. Calmness

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><p>Thorin's father Thrain wasn't a gentle man, but that wasn't expected for being a dwarf. Harshness, loudness, strength and rock-like endurance was needed to penetrate the mountain, to make the stone bow and listen.<p>

Thorin's grandfather Thror sometimes seemed like he himself had turned to stone. He managed to sit still, not moving a muscle and that Thorin would have believed he died if it wasn't for his sharp eyes observing, waiting, inspecting. It was his grandfather that introduced him to their vaults, instructing him on the value of their gold and riches.

Thorin's father introduced him to the more direct things like fighting with swords, axes and bows. It soon became clear that his weapon is the sword.

"There's no shame in it" said his father "not all dwarves are ones to wield the axe on the battlefield. When blood is shed there is no room for pride or falsehood, to keep yourself alive, and your allies victorious you need to be truthful about what you can and can't do."

After that he was left to the trainers and he learned the joy of being in motion, of being strong and agile, of having power of your own, the one you didn't have to wait for decades to come.

As his skill with the sword grew, he stood taller feeling he was fulfilling his place honourably.

Being young in the dwarfish kingdom wasn't easy, especially if you were a young prince in which all eyes stared trying to decipher what the years to come would carve into his features. That's why he learned how to hide his inner doubts, his fear that he was too soft inside for a dwarf, for a king. But he hoped that it was only because of his age.

That was the reason he watch his father and grandfather even more closely trying to mimic their posture, to find within himself that kind of durance, calmness of the stone. He walked amongst other dwarves feeling the distance that they made as he walked by. He was the prince after all and it was needed, the distance and the dignity. But sometimes he caught himself watching them too long as they banged their heads, clapped their backs, drank their drinks and laughed out loud as the song and the story became louder and louder.

He was the still point of calmness in the sea of motion and that was the way things were, that was his place in the world.


	4. Truly alone

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><p>Bilbo's adventures became more and more daring. He went further and further away from the Shire. Until one day they stopped.<p>

He often thought about it, wandering why it had come to such sudden end, but he didn't have to think much further than his age. He was coming of age of becoming a grown Hobbit. There was something preposterous in a grown Hobbit being adventurous.

His mother's roaming was something different. She always had good cause for going off into the town, and was always careful. She wasn't engaging in endangering herself needlessly.

Besides she was a Took and he was a Baggins. There was talk around the Shire about him, of his place as Baggins heir. It was unacceptable that Sackvilles would speak ill of him, he wouldn't do that to his father. That's why he composed himself and started to act just like him. It was a ridiculous sight at first, he was, after all, a young Hobbit then, but soon it was normal to see him walking around with his pipe and letters, nodding in passing. Soon his reckless behavior was forgotten and there was nothing to say about him. That was the best thing Hobbit could hope for.

Except of long faces and prolonged condolences there were no way to reprimand him his lifestyle. The passing of his parents came too soon, just as he became of age, so sudden for the peace of the Shire, but he knew it was coming so he was ready. There were signs of them, mother knew, she had taught him how to spot the signs of oncoming death.

He was their only son and he came to his parents in a late age so they always were on the lookout for death. They expected that they would be leaving him soon. So they did as careful parents do, they prepared him for their demise. Always teaching him how to handle himself alone. They had hoped that his cousins would be enough company for him, but he was always an estranged boy. Even in midst of his mother's parties that she would perform regularly to keep him entwined in the web of their society, he would wiggle out and about to go into some strange part of the woods he wasn't in before.

Maybe he thought they would stay longer if he misbehaved, that they would feel the need to take care of him a little while longer. It was a foolish and childish plan that was formed before he could even understand it, but it seemed that it worked for some time.

"You silly boy" his mother laughed not really amused, but not quite mad. "I wish not to live as long as my father did, it's unbecoming to live as long as him, people were starting to wonder about our heritage, pure Hobbits or was there something elfish in us. I wish not to renew those kinds of rumours."

With that he started to behave better, slowly letting go of his searching. In the quite of the night he wondered if he wished to find elves, to find if they were anything like him, because in the Shire it seemed nobody was quite like him. But the knowledge that came to him through books his mother bestow upon him and through her teachings showed him that he was nothing like them. They seemed disappointingly cold, calm and composed. Even more than his old Baggins ancestors. They had nothing like playfulness of the Tooks.

That's how he decided that was best to compose all the dignity he could gather and give his parents some peace of mind so they could go easily, not worrying of him being alone or thrown out of Bag End that his father built in such care waiting for lots of children that were late in their descending towards them.

That's how Bilbo ended up with a big, comfortable home suited for a big family. The halls and the rooms were empty after he was left alone, but he was fine with it, he knew how to be alone, it suited him best. He wasn't sure he would ever invite someone in to ruin his perfect order and calmness of his home. He had his little rituals that helped him throughout the day. And soon those rituals became his life. He was fine. More so he was satisfied.

Most of all he was proud that he didn't, in the end, need any help from his cousins. Sure they came, aunts offering their helping hand, but he needed no help, he managed fine on his own. It was true he was the only child so they all assumed he was incapable of managing everything, to know how things were done. But his mother was ninth in the long line of children that Old Took had and she knew all about sharing responsibilities and she wasn't the one to leave her son helpless without knowledge how things were done.

So when his time to be the head of the house, maybe an empty house, but still his, he was up for the job. His pantry was always respectably full, floors clean, rooms tidy. He was a pleasant host and he did continue to throw parties, smaller than those his mother did, but he understood importance of being seen, being a part of the community.

That's how his days went, he went visiting, and got visited. He worked his garden, it was one of best around, prepared his food with care not making the difference between eating alone or in company. If he was alone there was no need for sloppiness. And he was happy with his life. There was some social pressure about being alone in such big and nice house, and some lady glances were thrown his way but he opted to act like he didn't see it. Being inept in such business was the best option for him. All were too polite to ask him directly, and no one was close enough to pressure him directly. That was fine by him. He had his books and maps and he was consumed by them letting the world that was shown in them to swirl around his head. That way he never was truly alone.


	5. Breeding matters

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><p>When his wielding of the sword became easy and didn't require any strain of thought Thorin looked around for a new challenge. The one that would be his own.<p>

He was a dwarf. He didn't needed to look much further. They were craftsmen. They were miners. They forged swords and melted gold. It was unbecoming for a dwarf to be clueless about the craft that made them what they were.

That's why he descended down into the mountain and asked which job was the most demanding and most basic to be done. That led him to the furnaces. He could see older dwarfs and he knew that they were mocking him behind their beards full of braids. But he persisted, sweating in the heat burning up by the big furnaces keeping the flame alive. That's how he earned his first respect that wasn't given to him by right of his birth.

Soon those bearded men took him in and showed him the trade. He learned everything about melting the gold and making coins and jewelry, he even tried with the shaping of diamonds and sapphires, but that didn't inspired him. He didn't have the patience, or the skill to shape anything breath taking. The thing he enjoyed the most was blacksmith's craftsmanship. Objects of steel captured his attention more effectively than those made of gold. He didn't quite understand the glimmer of excitement when his grandfather watched his gold, or possessiveness his father showed of jewelry.

Casting melted steel into mould and banging of the hammer witnessing how shapeless ore became something sharp and dangerous brought peace to his mind.

Down there by the furnaces while noise of hammers filled the air, in the silence of working he found his first friends, he learned how to just be beside them without need to cast big shadows. Everything was dark anyway, lighted only by the fires.

His life soon had a rhythm. The days were neatly divided between his duties by the throne, wielding swords in training areas and forging ones by the furnaces.

It was when they started to make big mould of his grandfather, he wanted to have golden statue of himself. He thought it would show their prosperity well, it seemed sound at the time. That was the time Thorin first started to wonder about company for himself.

He established good relations throughout the mountain. There were dwarfs he called friends. He wasn't lonely. Not by far. For dwarf company is something you get in a crowd while drink is pouring and songs are sung. Brothers and friends were enough for the majority of dwarfs for most of their life. But there were times for breeding.

Although dwarfs weren't the most comfortable sort to speak of such things, and were the ones to postpone such responsibilities for as long as they could, the time would come that it became inevitable. They needed children to continue their work. Breeding for dwarves was slow process and it needed to put thought into it. Because of their long lives there was no hurry. But his sister Dis was persistent in her desire to produce children.

Grandfather tried to reason with her saying that there was enough time. Father told her she was young but she just clapped her hands and said that mother was young too and now she was gone.

"Preposterous" grumbled grandfather "we are already talking of the mountain having three generations at the same time. There is fear of greed for power to arise in you children. Besides, wouldn't your brother have the first right to ask for such a thing. Will you impose on him your offspring as heir to our throne?"

"I'm not interested in throne, but in children" Dis turned red from rage.

"That's not yours to be interested in, but your children would look upon this throne and desire it for themselves. They would think it's theirs to take, to inherit. Your brother should have the right to have children first."

"But there could pass the whole millennia before he desires children, even more for a wife, maybe not even then" she cried out desperately and Thorin found himself dumbfounded by her statement. It was true he never considered either, but he was so young still, he expected to be introduced to whomever his father found suitable for making an heir. But he never considered it to be his choice that he needed to desire a wife.

"True" their father spoke up "less and less young people think of breeding needs these days. Women are scarce to find. It seems theirs numbers are decreasing every year. Soon there could be less than one female for three dwarves. I doubt we would be looked upon kindly if we took one female for our clan while withholding one. There would be rioting if we, dwarves, weren't so work oriented, if we were like men there would be blood on these halls. But we're not and devoting yourself to your work is nothing to be ashamed of" he directed his speech to Thorin. "If your mother didn't have such a nice, golden, streak in her braids, you two wouldn't be here today. Father" he turned to Thror "when Dis decides to do something there's nothing we could say that she would listen. If you persist she could run off to the Iron Hills and mock us from there. I think it's best to leave it to these two to work it out between themselves. Thorin she would listen too, even angry she can't fight him."

"No one can" said Thror watching his grandson with approval. It was the first sign that his defiant nature wasn't taken as a bad omen, but something to be useful for the future.

With that they withdrew taking their long coats and beards with them.

When they were alone there were silence. It was a comfortable kind of silence. Thorin noted to himself that between his new activities he didn't have much time for his sister. He had neglected her in his pursuits.

"Is there someone you wish to wed or are there just children on your mind?" Thorin spoke up after while not lifting his gaze knowing she wouldn't be the one to speak first. Especially because they left her to her little brother like he was her master.

"Don't be rude" she banged him on the head. "I'm not a goblin to dig my young out of the mud. Of course I have someone in mind."

"Does he have you in mind?" Thorin still didn't look at her, holding himself still, imagining his hands griping the sword as he cornered the coward that would lead on his sister just to run off and hide before responsibility of keeping her as princess should be kept.

"He does" she straightened herself up offended. "What do you take me for, like I would expose myself to this if I wasn't sure? I would expect you would know me better than that, but maybe you forgot who I am."

Thorin finally looked at her, her golden braids on her chin, defiant look in her blue eyes. He smiled at her softly. He could always be gentle with her, she didn't expect him to be someone big.

"I'm sure you've chosen wisely" he said quietly.

"You wouldn't mind?" there were a hint of insecurity in her voice and he let his smile widen. She valued his opinion, and she needed his approval.

"I think it is a great idea" he said decisively "I wouldn't mind not being the youngest anymore. Besides you're right, who knows if I'll be ready for such a thing? Your children will be from the line of Durin and I'll consider them as my own."

"Oh brother" she threw herself on him and he hugged her feeling small kind of relief because she took that burden upon herself. There was one less thing for him to worry about.

After some time when all necessary steps were made he was introduced to her future husband. He was right, she choose wisely. Her husband seemed like man easy to love, simple, good humoured, with a smile on his features and genuine fondness in his brown eyes. It was the first time Thorin considered that he might be in need of something like that, of companionship.

The thought stayed with him and in the days that followed he felt it like an absence. He shook it off saying to himself that it was just because Dis found herself someone to accompany her through life replacing Thorin by her side. That was down side of having sister. Being so few in numbers they felt the urge to marry, to establish a new bond for themselves. Dwarves with brothers were fortunate ones, having companionship for life, not needing to get entangled into more complex relations where more than just sitting by each other and exchanging words from time to time is needed.

That more was something that would produce anxiety in Thorin, and in most dwarves it would cause uncomfortable squirming. Between dwarves that was like dancing around fire armed with axes and pikes trying to examine your opponent to know what kind of conflict is required to establish order of power. Lifelong feuds started that way causing flaming hatred that could be passed on generations to come. He'd have to remember to advise Dis in having more than one child. Only children were the unfortunate ones in dwarfish society. Having your sister married meant that you knew rules of engagement in close being with another dwarf. Not having siblings meant that you would be too sharp and too soft in the wrong time. Luckily he wasn't so unfortunate.

Looking around, examining his surroundings for companion, someone to sit comfortably by the fire, he took his sister as example of someone he could stand. But he found no one in sight to be remotely close to her persistent, stubborn but again kind nature. Closest he could find wasn't really a companion, but more a friend. Balin, old warrior, advisor, and his swords instructor was easy to talk to and Thorin decided he didn't need anything more than kind ear and wise words.

Soon enough there was a dragon feet above him and there were was no time for those kind of thoughts. There were more pressing matters to attend to.


	6. Carvings in the wood

Bilbo got tired of his everyday life. He was too good at it and soon it became boring. Everyone always said the same things of weather, food and clothes. He trained himself not to show his boredom and in the strain of it he started to squint. It happened one time during especially long descriptive speech of old lady Brandybuck in which she described to the letter each one of her carrots. Soon it became part of his posture and everyone took it as a sign of concentration so it made him very popular guest. They thought it was a clear sign that he's thinking pensively of what they were saying.

For him it was a part of coping mechanism which allowed him to break eye contact that forced him to imagine every little thing that was said. Instead with each blink he was able to think of something else. At first there were just random pictures that would make situation humours. Strange looking hat that was on someone's head would be decorated with live duck that would quack with every word someone would be saying. Simple things like that would make him look amused so his list of invitations to parties became quite long.

Soon that technique started to develop into something his mother wouldn't approve of. He started to lie through his teeth without even second thought. Just for fun at first, little things that would embellish the story. But soon there were useful lies instead. The ones that would keep him out of those parties. He became very good at it looking innocent and not raising any suspicion. He justified to himself that he made it to stay on the good side of the rumours, if he said what he meant he would soon live like a hermit all alone and grumpy.

That's how happened that he got on the desirable bachelor list. When that happened women stopped being shy and withdrawn. It was like their inhibitions were suspended, like accepted behaviour was turned upside down. All at once it was more rude and non-sociable not to impose on him than making very direct suggestions.

That made him start to dance. Not in the sense of following music with someone but to dance around avoiding any kind of contact that could be interpreted as inappropriate and therefore lead to some kind obligation towards any of ladies in question. Soon enough his dancing around started to cause multiple frowns all around so in attack of panic, he thought he would be mauled to death by young Sackswille girl, he started to give out big compliments. His compliments were so preposterous he thought he would be immediately disclosed as enormous liar but unexpected happened. His compliments were accepted and with not at all undesirable conclusion.

"Oh, you poor dear" she said. "You think I'm too good for you. Maybe I'm just too much, too confident. I scare you. I understand, you need someone more timid so she could respect you as a man. Don't worry your secret is safe with me." She patted him on his hand and surprisingly his secret was safe, more so he got respectful nods in passing while she held on her new fiance.

He repeated that same recipe and soon enough he could walk through the party without complex dance of avoiding contact but still he continued to move around a bit like dancing. He rather choose to avoid contact than to greet it. He was more comfortable that way, it saved him some unnecessary closeness and besides he liked to avoid confusion of his intentions. After all he was a bachelor with a big house and he could look like a goblin and still be desired for his furniture.

As he sat in the back on yet another wedding he considered maybe for the first time about himself. He always found it natural that he didn't desire someone to impose on his home and things but looking at young couple kissing and clearly finding joy in it he wondered what could he possibly find attractive, whom would he consider desirable. He couldn't picture that kind of person. All he knew that everyone around him seemed utterly boring and not even a bit attractive. Maybe he was just devoid of those kind of needs and feelings. It could be so because even the immaculate images of elves he finally found didn't provoke in him nothing corporal. They were just pretty pictures, like carvings in the wood, nothing you would desire to touch.


	7. Plundered dreams

Thorin was the first one to know there was a dragon coming their way. It was because of his grandfather that he started to fear this day will come. He watched Thror with concern for quite some time now and he spent uncomfortable amount of time in the vaults. That wouldn't cause so much worry, dwarves did value gold above other things, but in succession his grandfather started to withhold greater and greater parts of gold and diamonds they were producing. Lesser amount of values did go out of the mountain than those whom would be left behind to pile up in treasury. That was a bad news because dragons could smell that amount of gold, it lured them from afar.

In his teachings Thorin learned what there was to know of dragons but there wasn't much to know about. They were vast, strong, gold hungry and almost indestructible. That's why Dale had those precious black arrows. That was the deal they had with humans, their task was to protect the wealth of which they depended onto, on which their town thrived and prospered. It would be too late when dragon would approach their mountain, angle for the arrows would be desperately wrong, right onto fire breathing mouth.

Thorin had feared that man's arrows wouldn't be enough, but Thror was confident and not concerned about much than his gold. Of course the day came when that dry, hot wind blew and cracked the pines. Thorin knew instantly what was coming by the smell of brimstone. The dragon was too close, Dale was far behind him; men had failed. As his fire cracked and burned around him and Balin he still had no fear, he had only confidence, it was their mountain, they were dwarfs, they would prevail.

As dragon roared burning everything in front of Erebor Thorin armed himself and stood with all dwarves that managed to react quickly enough. They stood determinant but that was all in vain. As the drake crushed their steel door into the mountain as they were wood he swept them aside as they were mere puppets. Thorin fell not caught by the flame and watched alive and not injured how the drake passes beside him as he weren't even there. And he, for the first time, realised that he wasn't even there, he understood how small he was as dragon feet stamped over dead bodies as they were rocks. There wasn't any hope, anything they could gain by fighting, there wasn't any way to penetrate dragons tick scales up close, swords and axes were mere chopsticks for him. As dragon disappeared into the mountain Thorin knew that all he could do is to gather his people and save what he can.

His father and grandfather were nowhere in sight so he ordered withdrawal, total exodus. After that he paced down after dragons footsteps knowing Thror is down there with his gold. He managed to pull him out before he confronted the dragon armed with nothing but his crown. Luckily dragon didn't care about them as he tossed around their treasure bathing in their gold. Thorin didn't care about that too much, he feared the fire that could caught up with them if that dragon chooses just to snort in victory sending burning flame through narrow corridors turning their mountain into the furnace.

When the light of the exit showed before them Thorin for the first time experienced fear, true dread that cut through his composure right to his core. The stone around them turned hot, the air was thick from the brimstone fire. With that came voice, deep like rocks rolling in the caves, barely heard but clearly understood.

"I can smell you Durin folks" he spoke slowly, Thorin could hear victory in his voice. "Thror, your smell became sour from age, your time is up old man, there's no need in chasing you, but that youngling with you is fresh, his fear new. Teach him to fear me, because if I smell him again near my gold, he will burn."

Thorin turned towards the darkness in which nothing could be seen, all lights were put down by lack of air; everything was full of smoke.

"My name is Thorin and I'm not afraid of you" Thorin yelled at top of his voice lying, feeling the fear in his gut as his voice went raw echoing around empty halls.

All he got in reply was a laugh long and joyous.

"Youngling, youngling, you gave me your name, now I'll hear if you even think of me and my treasure. My name is Smaug and I'll plunder your dreams with death and screams of all those who are hiding in their holes, too afraid to go out. I can hear them breathing. I'll let you go so you can live life knowing I took everything from you. Here, have a parting gift from me" he said and with that there weren't dark anymore, just blazing flame that burnt his eyes.

Thorin threw himself towards the light and rolled out of the mountain.

"Where were you?" Thror shouted on him. "Who taught you to speak to the dragon, there's no reasoning with them. You either kill them, or run as fast as you can."

With that he turned and left as it wasn't his mountain anymore. Thorin watched his people running away not believing it is over, that they had lost so quickly. He lifted his gaze and there they were. Their allies. Mighty Thranduil on his elk and his indestructible elves. His hope burnt up again and he called out to them ready to go into the flame in spite of his fear but Thranduil just turned his gaze away and took his people with him, denying them help which they offered many times searching from them white gems, always the white gems. Now they cared not for their words, nor gems.

As Thorin watched them go he felt his stomach turn cold. The world became vast place without any known rules, nobody had any debt to them; without gold or mountain they had nothing to bargain with.

But they had goal before them and they stood proud and tall. Thror took them onto mountains of Moria to reclaim their ancient homeland. It was a noble task, Orcs were known enemy, someone their size; someone they could defeat. It seemed like good enough compensation for their loss. To be thrown out your home isn't so bad if you make a better one to yourself, one you could easily defend. But Thror wasn't in his best mind, he weighed their opponent too recklessly. He led all of their best men into that battle without proper reconnoitre all proud and tall thinking he could never lose from orcs, after all they were lesser creatures.

Thorin followed him. He was young, far too young for a battle of that kind. Harder and tougher men fell from exhaustion and despair that day. It seemed that orcs are just pouring out of the ground. And worst of all was that they had a leader. That happened rarely, they were mindless creatures and not often they could find someone to lead them into organised battle. Azog yelled above dead bodies how he will kill every last one of Durin line just to put an end to them.

Thror charged at him but Azog's hand was too strong and Thorin faced unthinkable. As his grandfather's head left his body Thorin felt rage like anything he felt before. Nothing mattered anymore. The world became narrow and small. All that was in the world was Azog's face and his hands. He didn't think of winning, of the battle, he just thought of next move. He grabbed first thing that was by his hand when he lost his shield and he wielded and fought until his blade found a way and orc blood splattered upon him. He stood as orcs dragged their leader into the mountain. After that they were mindless horde without tactics and they were easily forced back into the mountain. But that was a poor victory. Bodies piled up around them. Old hardened warriors shed tears but Thorin's eyes were dry. He had no tears to cry out, he had only anger.

After the battle his father was nowhere to be seen. Reports were made that he wondered of into the woods looking bewildered and lost. They were too small in numbers and exposed on the mountain of their sour victory. There weren't any soldiers left to be spared in vain. Thorin was left all alone, his men were tiered, defeated and full of sorrow so he ordered a bonfire to be made so they don't leave their dead to the orcs to feed upon and they withdrew once more retreating from their enemy.

Rumours of his father were heard but it would always prove to be nothing, just whispers in the dark but he continued to look out for him when he could. For now he was needed by his people so he led them through the wilderness in search for gentler hills, for unclaimed mountain they could drill into and make it their home.

As they progressed further into the wild, away from their mountain Thorin had learned that they couldn't count on anyone but on each other. No one offered them shelter or food, weapons or tools. They were left to themselves and all they could get was what they could earn, make or even steal if nothing else was offered. It didn't take long before he had no problem with stealing, lying or running away. They owed loyalty to no one but themselves. The world was cold and indifferent place with no kindness or gentleness.


	8. Bathing in the sun

Billbo got accustomed to the way he lived his life. He had his routine, his garden, his pantry and respect of Hobbit's community. No one even considered him a real Took anymore.

He knew how to avoid things he did not desire near his home, and also how to get those small pleasures in life. Younger days, when he dwell upon lack of any deeper and meaningful connection to others, were behind him. He found his relations satisfying, he couldn't get too much out of his relations, but again he didn't get really hurt. It was comfortable life and it was quite enough for him.

You could say that he was proud of his small life he adjusted everything to match his taste and inclinations. Right books and maps came his way. Even his chairs were placed on perfect places where everything would be in arm's reach.

That's how trouble found him. He got confident in his life and place in the world. He saw no reason to look beyond borders of Shire. He had red enough books to know for sure that there is only sorrow and danger out there, especially for little folks like he was.

He was bathing his face in the sun, enjoying his pipe he always got in the afternoon. He didn't even have to look at perfect circles he was making in front of his face. Then suddenly the perfect moment was ruined as the smoke somehow found a way back to his mouth. As he coughed he opened his eyes and squinted on the bright light. He could see he wasn't alone anymore. Tall dark figure has stared at him making no effort to cover up his rudeness.


	9. Big shadow

Thorin had discovered few things about himself during their venture through unknown vast country. He climbed the hills and led his people further and further away from everything he knew.

He discovered that he was uncomfortable with all that open sky, space was too big, it made him uneasy. Caves and rocks were his preferable shelters. Anything thinner than that was as he was walking through the world naked. But his people needed him and he walked tall despite anxiety that far horizon provoked in him. He pressed on stubbornly believing that he'll adjust in time, or that they will find something suitable soon enough. Maybe there his father will find them.

Secondly he discovered that he wasn't easy in being in charge, making decisions, taking the weight of deciding what future they should choose. For him all choices were bad ones, it was just the matter of how bad, or how uncomfortable they would be. He would looked around but nothing was home and he was alone. But he pressed on relying on his stubbornness because he had nothing more to offer. He ruled without a crown or a throne simply because his people believed in him, believed that he is truly Durin's heir.

One more thing that he discovered was how to distinguish between true friends and false ones. When you had nothing to offer and had to ask for everything nothing would be hidden from you. People showed their true faces and true often was the same as the ugly and unkind. But it also draw out the best in those around him. Through their difficulties it soon was clear to whom he can trust completely. He had no court of his own but soon enough there were dwarfs around him doing what they could, giving their best to press on and find them suitable home.

Nothing was suitable but his sister went on with her plan to bring a child into this world no matter how strange and unhospitable it was.

"The more reason to do so" she said when he objected her. "There is great need for beauty in this world, for a reason to keep on living. If we give in to rudeness and cowardice nothing will be left of us."

That's how he settled for the Blue Mountains. Everyone said that it was a good home that he choose well but for him was just a place in exile.

Settling in showed him that one more new thing came his way and persisted. He wasn't only Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror anymore. Maybe it was too painful to say their names out loud, maybe it was an attempt to make new identity for themselves but he got his own name, like he was a start of something, not just an end. He was known and more and more introduced as Thorin Oakenshield. He gave those rumours a thrust with that damn oak branch that he carved in and made his shield but he couldn't let it go. It was last thing that connected him to his previous life. It was a bridge between there and here. Before he picked it up he was well rooted, he had his elders before him to lead on, he had faith that this world will yield before their will; that they will prevail. After he picked it up all he was left with was vengeance, rage and determination that he will stand tall in his defeat, that he will find a way to at least bring his people through to some other place they will call home.

And home it seemed to be after Fili was born. A golden ray of sunshine reflected in a sapphire eyes. Thorin looked at him and knew he will be a good heir and that's how he treated him. A bit rough, but it was needed. When Kili came Thorin was baffled by his light persona. He couldn't for the life of him determine where he got such faith in this world but nothing seemed to bother him. Thorin tried rough with him but nothing seemed to get through to him. He would just looked at him with those brown eyes and waited until everything blows away. It always did. That reminded Thorin of his younger brother who died young so he couldn't really persist in teaching him that world is harsh and unforgiving place.

He did what he could for them but the world was cold place still. Decades passed in between tasks, work that needed to be done. Thorin did all he could, nothing was beneath him and slowly they recovered, their numbers grew bigger and he could see his sister was right, they had to move forward, it was the only way. After she was gone, her time came too soon but she went as she did all other things, with dignity and determination to leave everything but sorrow behind her, that was more clear than ever, but there were some things he owed to the past before he gives up for good and settles for this new life they had. He did all that she asked him to do, she gave him quite enough of tasks trying, even in death, to stop him from venturing after their father. But after that he felt, after decades of serving as their lead, as a free dwarf, free enough to find some answers. His people were capable enough to manage without him, he wasn't a real king after all and they did as they did without reporting to him about every small decision of their lives.

When he went in search of his father he tried to leave alone But Fili and Kili weren't easily fooled. He thought about ordering them to stay, but besides the fact they wouldn't obey him, he hadn't had that kind of power over them, he thought it would be good for them to see the world, not to be like him totally unprepared for the danger that was outside safe sides of their caves.

He had sent out search parties before chasing rumours and seeing of him wandering the wilds but nothing ever came from them. He thought that was because most of his people believed that he died during the battle for Moria but he knew he didn't. He personally turned every last body before they put them into the flame. None of them were Thrain. Besides Thrain had his ring to keep him company and keep him alive. That damn thing maybe distorted his mind but it always kept his bearer alive. That was the main reason Thror gave it to Thrain.

"One thing Smaug got right son" said Thror "was that I am old, I can feel my bones dissolving. If I keep this curse that reminds us of our resilience it'll keep me around even as a bowl of soup too keep waiting for its master. Its master isn't coming for it but it'll keep you safe enough to see the end of this war with Orcs, you will know how to rule son, rule with certainty, and determination."

Thorin could clearly see how the ring got the hold of him the minute he put it on but he had faith in his elders. That faith had bitter aftertaste now when he thought about it, but although that cursed thing took his mind it surely would keep him alive.

That's why he ventured into wilds but following footsteps and whispers was a tricky thing. It always seemed to disappear in thin air.

He was on verge of giving up. He send out Fili and Kili to gather with Bifur, Bofur and Bombur it will be safer to travel back home if they were greater in numbers. He himself went into Bree in one last search of rumours. He hated the thought that his father is out there just around some bush and he gave up just like that.

Just as he prepared to eat he felt all familiar sense of danger. His sense of danger got sharpened by years. He was a dwarf surrounded by men and few Halflings but most of them were uninterested in him or his gold but there always has scums that would kill for few coins. Being a dwarf he was assumed to have more than one bag of gold hidden on him. And they weren't wrong, but they were wrong to think he would give anything to them except few wounds from his sword. He was just reaching for his trusted blade when a big shadow was casted upon him.

That's how the wizard found him.


	10. Paint on the door

In the days after meeting with old wizard Gandalf the fireworks master Bilbo couldn't shake the feeling something is coming for him. He didn't like the feeling. It was accompanied by slight sensation of dread. He avoided public gathering and when he had to go to the market he would check are there any grey pointed hats are sticking out behind the corner. There were rumors already of his behavior and description of Gandalf was spread around.

Besides that he couldn't help but to think of his childhood, of fireworks, spider webs, and elusive elves.

What did Gandalf said? That it would be good for him.

No, no thank you, there were no need for him to get himself into trouble. There were nothing good in it.

Besides that, despite of his will, old tales that Gandalf used to say swirled before Bilbo's eyes. But that meant nothing because in those tales there were nothing but misery for its heroes. Sure it was fun to listen to it and imagine it from aside but it surely hurt terribly to be pierced by arrows, struck by sword or enchanted by a wizard.

That was the reason he couldn't remember Gandalf face despite his quite good memory. It was because he never got to really see him. Instead of memories of Gandalf there stood stories he would tell with such precision, like he witnessed them all. There were no false shades in those stories, embellishment Hobbits would give into their gossiping around. On contrary there were the feeling that most of the story is hidden, that true greatness and sacrifice wasn't even seen.

He was just a small boy when he heard those stories but they stuck with him driving his desire to experience more, to see the world of tales for himself.

Luckily those foolish days of his youth were behind him. There were no need to even slightly expose himself to uncomfortable and dangerous.

That's why he walked with care looking out for Gandalf so he can disappear and avoid him completely. Although he was pretty sure he wasn't the one to be persuaded into foolishness he wasn't so sure old Gandalf wouldn't pull something out of his broad sleeve.

But as days passed nothing happened so he got a bit relaxed hoping that nothing will come out of it. Lastly he painted his door just to be safe. Old man did scrapped on his door. There was nothing to be seen but just to be on the safe side fresh batch of paint wouldn't hurt anyone and he was a diligent hobbit.

After a week he still went carefully to the market but after he was scared by a grey bag he said to himself there is enough of that. He was determined enough, wizard can just put him into a bag and carry with him, and if he would Bilbo would surely find a way to wiggle himself out of it.

With that he sat by his dinner when there was a strong knock on the door. Who would be so rude to come unannounced?


	11. Matter of numbers

Before and after the wizard had found him were different universes for Thorin. In one before he was resigned with the world, it was unfair, cold and indifferent, but you had to carry on for those you love to help them across to their future, one they would find bearable. After the meeting with the wizard there was a hope that not all was in vain, that there is some bigger plan and that he could make a change, to right the wrong.

In later universe his life had no value anymore. It became a coin on the scale of destiny. His fate mattered not if he would be able to turn the scale their way. His fate became clear, he was to face that dragon again and conquer his fear.

The warrior in him was happy with later universe. He felt fortunate in some way that there is no one to cry for him when his fate came to be. His nephews would be sad, his people will mourn but that would be a bearable sorrow because he was distanced from them all. They could carry on without him, he was not needed beyond replacement. Fili would be a fine kind, the one to be loved for his kindness.

With that he surrendered to the faith. The wizard had his acceptance from the beginning, as soon as he spoke the words it was like Thorin knew it was coming, like there were no other way but to go back and face that dragon for better or for worse. It was something unbecoming a dwarf in resigning to the defeat without a chance at revenge.

Others will join him or they will not, he had to try, it would be shameful not to even try. Good part was that the wizard had a plan that sounded plausible.

Before the council of the dwarves Thorin had no power, he was just a youngling to them, the one without his own gold, army and throne, they had no reason to follow him but he had to ask. Blessing was the one thing he needed, not for himself but for his people, so they would be without blame after he's gone.

But with the Arkenstone in his hand he would have the power over them because for the dwarf given word was everything, they couldn't back down and keep their faces honoured. Thorin could feel that destiny, the Arkenstone in his hand and the army of dwarves behind him as they attack Smaug in his lair. But in the other hand he could feel steel of his sword and the burning flame that would end him. Either destiny was fine by him. Each one would go into songs and his destiny would be worthy of his name.

Gandalf had other plans, he tried to force a burglar upon them, like they weren't capable of venturing into the mountain themselves.

"The smell is the problem Thorin" Gandalf argued "Smaug would smell you from afar, new smell would be useful; it maybe wouldn't even break his slumber."

"No" said Thorin not wanting to listen any further "you can't convince me in taking a stranger into my company. The quest would fail before it would have chance to begin. I don't trust any man with my gold, or my life, they are traitors that would end you in your sleep." He lifted his hand to stop Gandalf to speak up. "Nor would I ever trust an elf, they are light on their feet but the dragon hates them as much as I do and they couldn't keep their word if the world would depend on it."

"Luckily" smiled Gandalf "I had someone else in mind, someone smaller. A Hobbit."

"A Hobbit?" laughed Thorin. "Small creatures are amusing to watch and seem enough benign but you could turn the world upside down before you could find one brave enough just to step out in the woods let alone to cross half of the world to face a dragon."

"If I could muster out one would you consider bringing him along?" Gandalf watched him intensively. "Or you would find a reason to disqualify their whole race too?"

"I'm not petty in that way" Thorin reclaimed him. "I just have experience that contradicts in trusting certain kinds of creatures, what would you do, make me trust Orcs?"

"Men and elves are the same as Orcs?" wondered Gandalf. "I'm in luck no wizard ever crossed your way. Now don't get offended" Gandalf raised his hand to calm Thorin down "burglar I will find and that's my condition to advise you in this venture. Don't mind me if I don't trust a dwarf to be on his best behaviour and doesn't do something rash like angering the dragon. I don't doubt that he would be irritated with you like I am."

Thorin smiled and relaxed. He didn't trust the man who couldn't get provoked.

"I'll gather my dwarves and discuss this, they need to know what's ahead. I'll discuss with them question of the burglar, they need to agree to take in the stranger even if it's a weakling like Hobbit is."

"I'll check up on him, to see if he's up for it, I haven't got a chance to go around there for quite some time. Even in a place like Shire there are things like natural death, it's inconvenient but I must remember creatures are susceptible to such discomfort."

With that they parted. He didn't expect that Gandalf would convince any Hobbit to act so out of their character, but old wizard proved to be convincing so he discussed the matter with his companions. He expected of them to be resistant to that idea but there were surprising turn of event.

He sent out the word and everyone he trusted gathered but there was one adding to their company.

Dori and Nori brought with them their brother Ori. Thorin had no problem with Ori, despite him being more of an artist and a scribe, he was reliable with a sword, and some good stories always come in handy on long travels. But there was a problem with numbers.

"Thirteen" said Bofur who always had a sense for making dramatic sitations more daring "there is thirteen of us, I hate to go towards dragon lair with that number."

"Don't be so skittish" said Dwalin "it's a bad number, so what, it's just a number."

"Can't say I like it" said Gloin "I wouldn't bet my money on thirteen ever."

"There's a wizard" said Kili "he could count as fourteen."

"Don't be naïve young one" said Balin "he's a wizard, he can't be bossed around, and he can't sign allegiance to Thorin. The wizards are strange creatures they come and go as they choose, they can't count as members of any company even the company of wizards."

Thorin watched Ori and knew he could not send him back. It would be shameful for a dwarf to be refused from such a noble quest and it would be Ori's first quest. He wasn't the best of fighters and there always been a reason to leave him behind. It wouldn't be fair to deny him this. Nori and Dori watched him with discomfort.

"Any number is less important than the aid we can get from every each one of us" said Thorin cutting through their chatter. "Every hand with weapon can mean our cutting through to our goal and our goal is far away, we can be sleighed any night before reaching our mountain. Ori is very welcomed to come along. We'll just have to consider that burglar wizard is forcing upon us. Even if he dies along the way there will still be starting our journey in better number."

That came through as agreeable.

"Now Ori, send out invitation for a confidential council to seven kingdoms, give them seven days to gather. During that time Bombur, Bifur and Bofur gather our supplies. Please discreetly, we're not announcing our attentions to everyone. Dwalin and Oin take care of gear and weaponry, no need to say to all equip well. Balin you'll go to the Blue Moutains and take care of businesses there, say only necessary to excuse our absence, leave explanation in case of need. Gloin report to your wife and get her blessing I don't want her to be chasing us throughout Middle Earth."

That caused some laughter that eased the tension.

"Fili, Kili find us suitable horses and ponies for supplies. Dori check out books and see what the signs are saying of our favour. Nori sort out your business, it goes the same as for Gloin; we need no search parties while we're gone. Leave what you can spare, take what you can't without."

"A pipe" said Bofur.

"A kettle" said Bombur.

With that they started a song and Thorin watched them with fondness.

"A pen" said Ori.

"A bow" said Kili.

"A bag of gold" said Nori.

"A sharp knife" sung Fili.

"Sharpest wife" adedd Gloin.

"Some luck" grumbled Dori.

"Khashak" added Bifur.

"What duck?" asked Oin.

"Keen mind" said Balin.

"An axe" growled Dwalin.

"A shield" he said for the end of the song.

With that they emptied their beer jugs.

"I'll see if the council will fill our numbers, I wouldn't like to count on that burglar to come along." Said Thorin quietly to Balin.

"Where is that wizard of yours anyway" said Kili who was inpatient to see a wizard for himself. "He's late."

"Wizards are never late" said strong voice from the door. "Nor they come in early, they always come in time."


	12. Opening the door

Bilbo opened his door and was greeted with a big massive back, when the dwarf turned around impression wasn't any better. He looked genuinely scary, but Bilbo was a Hobbit and he was in his home so he wasn't keen on showing fear, he had his rights as owner of this home.

He acted quite rudely for a Hobbit and any other Hobbit would get a hint and left but this was a dwarf and soon he was sitting back in the corner feeling like a stranger in his own home. His politeness obligated him to at least act as everything was in order, like his guest isn't being extremely rude.

The stranger ate all his dinner and asked for more. Bilbo endured all that quietly hoping that the stranger would get whatever he thought he'll get here and get out. If it would be any luck the meal will suffice. But there was another knock on the door and Bilbo froze surprised, could it be worse than it already is?

"That would be the door" said the stranger to him like Bilbo was the mad one here.

He went to the door ready to be more determined this time but was greeted with politeness that was hard to fight and soon enough there was another dwarf in his home. They greeted each other calling themselves brothers. And then there was banging of the heads that looked to Bilbo that could crack sculls.

They went into his pantry talking about his food like he wasn't even there. Then Bilbo tried to force them out, he said that they aren't welcomed. It was a hard task for Hobbit to do so he said it as politely as he could but all they gathered to hear is his apology in the end of his speech. So they accepted his apology without any effort to get out of his home. That's how third knock found him and enraged him.

He opened up the door and was determined to be as rude as possible and slam his door to the face of two young dwarves that stood in his door looking happy with themselves. Bilbo wasn't happy so he tried to slam a door to their face, but they just pushed them back open.

"Was it cancelled?" they asked with concern.

"Nothing was cancelled" answered Bilbo with confusion again defeated by his good breeding.

With that they entered putting on him their stuff like he was their servant.

"Be careful with that I just got them sharpened" said lighter dwarf.

He didn't get the chance to for another complaint when there was another knock. This time he didn't wait to open up the door to start ranting. He threw dwarf swords without any regard for whether they get scratched or not. He was determined to have no more dwarves in his home, there was too much of them in there already. He was ready for a fight, but he wasn't ready for the bunch that fell into his home. Behind them tall figure leaned in and Bilbo sighed with resignation.

"Gandalf" was all that was needed to say. Old wizard came with trouble like he said he would.

Of course they all came in and continued to behave badly ruining his home. He gave up in attempt to force them out and pretend that they never came, but he tried fiercely to save his home, preserve his things and stop them from wrecking everything. It was no surprise they continued not to pay any attention to him. He ended up yelling at Gandalf only to be meet with laughter and diminishing his troubles. Other hobbits would be appalled by his behaviour but these were dwarves to them his yelling was just amusing sight.

"You'll blunt the knives" he yelled in last futile attempt to make them behave but as reward he got a song in which his dishes flew through the air. He was horrified with the sight those dishes survived a hundred years of handling just to be thrown in the air by dwarves. At the same time a different part of his brain was surprised by a song that used his name like he was a familiar to them, like they knew him. Song was rough but it had its rhythm. Suddenly it stopped and Bilbo lost his words and anger in pure shock that all his dishes stood safe, whole and piled up on the table. In that state he heard last thump on the door, it sounded strong and threatening. He couldn't remember to get angry to another intrusion.

"He's here" said Gandalf like something new is at the door and all dwarves that laughed and mocked got silenced and still. Bilbo had no desire to go and open up his own door. Usually he was brave as the next hobbit but now he let Gandalf lead on like that were his door to open them up.


	13. Diplomacy

"What of your burglar, did you manage to get one?" asked Thorin looking around wizard's robe in search of small creature, there was no one in sight. "I thought as much" he smirked at empty space "we'll manage without one."

"I found him, and he will be suitable for our quest" answered Gandalf determinably. "Only it will took a few days to stir his curiosity" he continued in more apologetic tone "he'll be ready by the next full moon."

"So our burglar is indecisive one" Thorin smirked.

"That is the best kind" said Gandalf with determination "eager ones always want more than their pay."

"True" Thorin agreed.

"He'll need some convincing" Gandalf kept explaining "you know of Hobbits, it's harder to them to get behind Shire's borders than to travel throughout Middle Earth."

"I wouldn't know, I haven't heard of any that did so" Thorin was suspicious.

"Bilbo's ancestors did that occasionally, I knew few of them personally, they always seem to surprise, you'll see."

"So our burglar got a name" sighed Thorin knowing that it would be hard to get Gandalf to change his mind and numbers did convince others.

"Bilbo Baggins, nice little fellow. A bit feisty and defensive but brave enough for the challenge."

"I'll believe it when I see it" said Thorin not giving in.

"We'll gather at his place then" Gandalf said taking that as acceptance.

"His place?" Thorin was surprised. "We'll have to travel to the Shire, wouldn't be easier to gather in Bree?"

"Shire is a good place to gather and start from. We would be spotted in Bree. You'll see, it will be easy to find his place, I left a marking on his door it will be visible on the full moon" Thorin looked at him sceptically so he added "I think we can be ready till then."

Balin sighed not happy with all the pressing rush.

"Just so, I'll have to get a move on right away. Diplomacy doesn't stand swiftness. I'll make it back by the full moon if I hurry."

Gandalf draw them a map to show the way to Bilbo's home but his style of drawing paths got more than one dwarf to look confused.

"We can gather here and go there together" offered Gandalf with a kind smile when he looked at their faces.

"And march into Shire like and invasive army?" mocked Thorin. "We'll get attacked by forks and brooms. No, we'll split up. Dwarves with supplies go in first. Dwalin go in first with our gear, then Kili and Fili with horses, rest of you can stick to Gandalf."

"Yes, Bilbo could react better if we go in slowly, we don't want to scare the fellow right away" Gandalf agreed. "Whether Bilbo decides to go or not at least we'll be shaded from curious looks we would get elsewhere. And there will be food there, plenty of it."

Mentioning of food got that arrangement sealed. Thorin walked Balin to the door.

"Be careful when the dwarves call you into meeting" said Balin quietly. "I won't be back in time to assist you."

"Do you suggest that dwarf's kings would ruin our quest? They have on their hearts our loss as well. With our wealth theirs rises too" Thorin was offended. "They are our kin, not foreigners."

"No, nothing like that" Balin calmed him. "But it's one thing to take our mountain back, they would like that more than us, that would get us away from the same gold lines" Thorin had to agree with that. "Another thing is to take King's jewel and command them to go into the battle with a dragon of all things. Let's take things slowly, step at a time. Maybe would be best to tell them that we're reclaiming our homeland, that we'll check whether that dragon still breathes or not. They don't need to know our further plans. It's not sure anyway we'll get that far. This way they'll remember us better."

Thorin bowed his head like he did often when hard decisions came his way. He'd like nothing better but to be honest and blunt, it would suit his direct nature, but business of the king were often hidden ones, even for the one without a crown or a kingdom. Balin was right and he knew that, kings got used to be without a king to whom they would answer. They had an oath to the king's jewel and they would honour it if they had to but maybe they would stop it from happening. That's why Thorin nodded. Balin's advice proved to be wise in more than one occasion.

Bearing Balin's advice in mind he got though the meeting talking as little as he could, but observing everything. Balin's advice proved to be sane one. They agreed to their quest but just so. No help was offered, not supplies, no troops.

He left the meeting with a heavy heart, disappointment in others grew in time. Now it had reached his own kin. They were truly alone in their exile, everything they got they had to make it for themselves. That thought lifted some of the weight of his heart because he was headed to those who showed their true worth. And best of all they were headed towards their mountain. For better or for worse he will at least try. Hopefully that attempt will go better than of his father before Moria.

He walked slowly enjoying the night. He will not make it in time to meet up with others.

There were no problems to the borders of the Shire but from there all paths looked the same. There were trees, grass, plants everywhere. Not a stone sign anywhere. He tried to picture wizard's map but it had no resemblance to the meek hills before him. There were no one to ask for directions, every doors were shut closed like the night was filled with goblins and fires. Finally he saw the blue shimmer on the next hill. That proved to be wizard's marking. He could hear laughter and commotion from the inside, familiar voices. That brought a smile to his face. His men were here.

He opened the small gate and went up the stone stairs that weren't all that bad made, but it could be cut more precisely. He stood in front of round doors for the moment pausing, composing himself. His people always expected a king of him and he gave them that. There wasn't much he could offered them, but he could stand tall for them. All their hardship was easier that way, they had a feeling that he's leading them somewhere meaningful. He sure hoped to be so.

With that he knocked with determination like everything else he did. Determination meant that he knows where he's going and what needs to be done. He crossed his arms behind him and looked up to the moon low on the horizon. For the moment he hoped that in spite of everything against them they will succeed he was willing to pay a price for that. With that Gandalf opened up the door and smiled at him.


	14. Taller

Dwarves rushed ahead to greet a newcomer. Bilbo fell behind. He felt a weight in his feet. With all dwarves and a wizard he didn't need any new calamities. But with the way the loud bunch of dwarves went still waiting at the door leaving a big space between them and a new visitor Bilbo gathered that this one had greater weigh on the scale of things. He wasn't eager to get closer to the trouble they brought with them in his home.

Gandalf opened up Bilbo's door and greeted a new dwarf judging by top of his head that he was able to see in his position behind a wall of dwarves. His voice spilled around Bilbo filling Bag End with something new. It wasn't loud and intrusive, you could say that it had a gentle ring to it, but nevertheless it had raw quality of strength.

"I lost my way" said that new voice without shame in wandering "twice. I wouldn't find it at all if it wasn't the mark on the door."

That made Bilbo move before he managed to think.

"Mark?" annoyance came back although in smaller proportion. "There's no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago."

Gandalf had a courtesy to look ashamed as he admitted he left a mark last time he visited.

"Bilbo Baggins" he said Bilbo's name with certain dignity "meet the leader of our company Thorin Oakenshield."

With that Bilbo turned and faced tall dark stranger that went by the name Thorin Oakenshield. He was taken aback by intensive blue, opal eyes that studied him. It wasn't a crude stare, nor was it anger there, but humour that was there wasn't kind towards Bilbo. Thorin smiled as he spoke and Bilbo felt strange desire to be taller, stronger, more dangerous, and more masculine. He never had a problem with that before, he was just fine with a way that he was built but as Thorin talked and approached him he found himself stretching upwards not knowing what exactly to do with his hands.

"Axe or sword" he asked with that sharp voice of his as he circled around Bilbo and Bilbo tried to held his ground and hide discomfort he felt when Thorin went behind him "what's your weapon of choice?"

It was a silly question, he was a Hobbit what would he need weapon for but he didn't pointed that out. Just as he didn't continue to object on dwarves and what they did there in the first place. Instead of that he found himself offering a weak joke of being skilled at conkers. Of course it wasn't met by any acknowledgment but flout.

"Thought as much" Thorin said with his deep voice and turned around for one last look at Bilbo. "He looks more like a grocer than a burglar" he concluded his assessment and got round of laughter. With that they all turned and went towards Bilbo's dining room.

Bilbo left where he stood and felt confused. Was he just insulted badly? It sounded as insult, it felt like an insult, but why would Bilbo felt offended. Even if for dwarves being a grocer was something not worth any respect, for a Hobbit was a respectable business. On contrary for a Hobbit there was much shame in being a burglar; that was something awful. So why Bilbo felt like he was inadequate in some way?

As he thought about it dwarves surrounded Thorin and listened to him with respect. Someone brought him a stew which he ate slowly and quietly, not making noise and spectacle of eating other dwarves did. Bilbo came in closer still feeling clumsy in his own skin. He listened to that deep voice trying to decipher meaning, for the first time interested in business of dwarves.

As Thorin talked all Bilbo could see was a cascade of his dark hair that covered his broad shoulders, and flash of his profile as he turned towards Gandalf. That's why Bilbo went closer to Gandalf to get a better view. He wanted to see and discovered what was so different on this dwarf, what made him so capturing.

Word quest was spoken so Bilbo spoke up suddenly realizing his curiosity won't be met if he doesn't ask, they talked in riddles "You're going on a quest?"

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	15. Defenseless

Thorin walked through the door bending a bit. He took of his cloak, hesitated briefly about putting it somewhere but no hand was offered so he folded around his hands. It was an old habit of his, to expect someone to take things from him on smallest hint of discomfort. It was a long time now since he had somebody at his back who would watch him closely reading his body signs to know what was needed. But it was hard to accustom to that lack of comfort. He didn't expect it really, it was a reflex more than a conscious though; it was a long time now since he learned to do everything by himself. Sometime he thought that things were better this way. Kili noticed as usual and Thorin smiled at him approaching. He gave the cloak to Kili without conscious thought because he was already focused on their alleged burglar.

As he set eyes on him he paused for split of second surprised by absurdly cute, defenceless, beardless creature.

"So this is the Hobbit" he said taking a step closer trying to find anything more on him, something at least a bit dangerous but as Hobbit talked his first assessment grew stronger, there wasn't an aggressive bone in this small sod.

"What's your weapon of choice?" nevertheless he gave him a chance to speak for himself, but as he examined him as good swords master would his first impression was confirmed. There is nothing to be expected from his small lean figure. He had no posture nor strength of a fighter.

There's been only mention of some child's play dwarves would never play.

"Thought as much" he said with a smirk looking back at that insecure squirming fellow that couldn't hold his gaze. As he called him a grocer he didn't mean nothing ill with it, although for a dwarf being a grocer was unthinkable, they had gold so others could deal with mud and leave the stone to them. For others being a grocer was a normal thing, mister Baggins looked like a pleasant grocer, one you could trust to give you fresh supplies and a joke to accompany it, he couldn't see why Gandalf wanted to drag him into perils way. Mister Baggins had a place here, he would be foolish to follow them.

He still hoped that Gandalf will change his mind but wizards were stubborn creatures so he sat quietly as others argued. Even after mister Baggins himself declared, with his gentle voice that had no strength even in protesting, himself not being a burglar wizard held his ground lashing out his rage. After that there wasn't anything to be done but do it his way. They needed him and after he gave Thorin Thrain's key it became even more clearly that this is the path Thorin must take.

Thorin gave the contract to mister Baggins without looking back, he wasn't the one to persuade him to do this in any way. As he read the contract Thorin leaned in to Gandalf. He's going to agree to wizard's terms but he won't be responsible when that little Hobbit gets hurt on the first intersection or will Thorin run after him when he runs back crying.

Thorin watched mister Baggins as he read the contract making face expressions that hid nothing from discomfort, surprise, and confusion. If he would in some strange way make it with them to the mountain it would be impossible imagine him going into Erebor's halls alone to face the dragon.

That thought got confirmed when the Hobbit spread himself on the ground just imagining dragon fire. He had a lively imagination, Thorin had to give him that.

Everyone got up. Some went to help Gandalf with unconscious Hobbit, others to clean up mess they made. Thorin had noticed it and was sure it wasn't little Hobbit's doing. Thorin leaned in the hall waiting for the fate to fall this way or another. He really didn't care. The key was in his hand, his path was laid before him. He'll walk it even if he had to do it alone.

Balin voiced out his doubts but eventually he agreed as he did always, standing by his side.

As chores were done they gathered by the fire. The pipe was handed in Thorin's hand so he smoke it. He stared at the flames as memories rolled in. There was a need in him to let them out so he let his voice to tell that story he knew so well. Braver men fell before dragon's flame, even Thorin was laid to the ground. Mentioning of Smaug didn't sit comfortably with Thorin's heart, but determination was there. His men came when he called upon them and he knew each one of them by heart. They would not falter him. If they all went into the flame, they'll go together.

As they spread around the house to get few hours of sleep before they go Gandalf murmured that his Hobbit will come around and wages fell. Thorin didn't partake in them. Soon there was peace full of snoring everywhere. Thorin walked quietly around Hobbit's home smoking his pipe. There were no hope he could sleep on a night like this so he looked around.

He hadn't much chance to look inside men's or Hobbit's homes but this looked like comfortable one. Clean too after it had been restored to its original state. Thorin looked at pictures, books, furniture. All was well made and it looked comfortable. Wizard was a fool when he thought Hobbit would leave this safe and cozy hole for dragging around in mud with rest of them.

His roaming brought him to a window from which he could see the sunrise. Thorin realized it was mister Baggins room only when small Hobbit snorted in his dream. He turned from the window just to see his expressive face frowning even in his dream. Thorin studied his features for awhile deciding what was on his face that made him look so vulnerable. Maybe was that he slept so deeply exposed to the world without fear? That was either really foolish, or brave, considering he had full house of strange dwarves he knew nothing about.

The house began to stir from restless dwarves that picked up their gear. Doors were open letting fresh morning air in. Thorin stood there moment longer deciding whether to wake mister Baggins to see them out or not. He decided against it. This way he'll stay in safety, wizards were risky beings, even though they couldn't change minds, they could influence them. Mister Baggins proved to resist that influence by now why test him further.

Thorin looked at pipe in his hand wondering to whom he should return it to. One look and simple wood and its making told him it was from their host. That's why he left it on the back of the chair.

"Come on, let's go" he said with low voice ushering everyone out.

"The contract" said Balin "Gandalf insists that you sign it."

"There's no time to be wasted" Thorin complained "soon all the village will awake, even from here rumours can spread."

He took the contract from Balin signed it swiftly and put on the table for Hobbit to see when they are safely gone.

"The time for words is gone" he said to Gandalf as he walked him out "he'll come or he won't."

"Agreed" said Gandalf with a heavy sigh and went up on his horse.

Soon they were all sited and on their way. Just as they reached the forest he could hear chatter of waken village. He didn't looked back. Gandalf lead on. Thorin felt comfortably in his saddle. This was his quest and he will give it all he has.

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	16. Looking ahead

Gandalf asked him for some light and the tale began, the kind he liked the most, about lost kingdoms. In this case mountain kingdom, it was expected, these were dwarves after all.

But then a beast was mentioned. Bilbo asked what beast, there was more than one beast in Middle Earth, and dwarves thought he was so ignorant that he doesn't know what a dragon is.

Dwarves got loud and feisty turning on Gandalf to tell them how many dragons have he killed. As they got too loud Bilbo tried to calm them with his weak please but then Thorin got up on his feet and silenced them all in instance with might of his voice. The strength that was felt in his voice since he came in rolled out in full strength filling the room with his presence. Bilbo watched loud dwarves as they listened to Thorin's words submissively.

"Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or we size this chance to take back Erebor?" he said and got a roar in reply. Bilbo himself could feel the calling in his gut to follow them through, their will was strong, and their story had captured his imagination.

After Gandalf took out the key to the mountain like a magic trick there was hope around the table and Bilbo wished them luck.

Bilbo looked at the map over Thorin's shoulder trying to picture the road that was represented by a simple line. In the world nothing was simple.

"An expert, I'd imagine" said Bilbo absently about their needed burglar.

"And are you?" question is thrown back at him and he was startled.

"Who, me? No, no, no" he defended himself. "I never stole a thing in my life."

Dwarves started to rally again and Bilbo agreed with them wholeheartedly. He was a gentle folk, no one who could do such preposterous thing like going away to meet the dragon. But then Gandalf stood growing tall, darkening the room and all got silenced, even Bilbo.

"If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is" he said with such surety that Bilbo himself fell into doubt. Gandalf continued to explain his advantages as a burglar sounding like he's saying something wise and truthful "he has a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself" he concluded and Bilbo was taken aback by that token of trust. Could he do such grand thing?

"No, no, no" he remembered what was normal and continued to defend himself as Thorin agreed with what Gandalf was suggesting.

"Please" he pleaded from them to be sane, didn't just Thorin called him a grocer a moment ago, they should go back to that. But as the rest of this crazy evening things rolled out their way and Thorin practically hit him with their contract. As contract fell into his hands Bilbo started to read it. He was a skilled reader so he quickly got to small letters. He wouldn't sign anything he didn't read through, although he won't be signing this.

Contract seemed to be written fair enough until Bilbo reached disclaimers. They rejected any responsibility for possible injuries. The words were long, those were the words that were rarely heard even in stories.

"Lacerations… eviscerations… incineration" it went one after another and with each word Bilbo could picture his body covered in blood, wounds, burns and fire. He felt like all air had left the room.

Picture of the furnace with wings that's coming on him didn't help. He tried to fight the faint that was coming but last words he had heard was a pile of ash.

Next thing he was waking up in his chair with Gandalf hovering over him. Cup of tea was handed to him and he felt so small and weak. They all saw that and none of dwarves was in sight, at least they knew now where his place was. Only Gandalf remained persistent trying to make his life seem small and unworthy.

"The world is not in your books and maps" he said thing Bilbo knew. "It's out there" so was death and pain.

He tried to play on Bilbo's Took side.

"All good stories deserve embellishment" Bilbo agreed with that but beyond all embellishment there was a real danger out there where end is not certain nor guarantied.

"Can you promise I will come back" Bilbo cut through the story to the essential thing that all books had in them, a hero that would live to tell the story, without him the story is like it never was.

Of course he couldn't, nobody could offer that kind of promise and stay truthful.

"You've got the wrong Hobbit" he said calmly and with determination. He's been saying it the whole evening but now he was serious and unfaltering. With that he withdrew to his room waiting for dwarves to be on their way going in their adventure that leads them into the dragon lair.

His house cracked with activity and Bilbo sat on his bed listening feeling utterly small and unprotected. It was like walls of Bag End had disappeared and he was left standing on the open lain exposed for any dragon that will come by.

Like that he was ambushed by a low murmur of dwarfish singing. It was different than a mocking song they made for him earlier. It had sadness hidden within, loss and beauty. Bilbo's heart ached from their pain but he just wasn't strong enough, brave enough, tall enough, and fierce enough. He just wished they would leave soon. They had ruined his confidence, hopefully he will regain it in time. With that he fell asleep. In his dreams he was running, the wings were spread but he wasn't afraid because Thorin's voice echoed around covering dragon's roar.

Bilbo wake up suddenly as Thorin face turned to him in his dream looking enraged.

The sun was in his eyes and for a moment he couldn't remember why had he fell asleep in his clothes without a blanket. A smell of smoke was in the air and a thin line of smoke was lifting from his pipe. He remembered and got up quickly and quietly moving around his house like a stranger searching for intruders.

Soon it was evident that he was alone once again and for a brief moment he was satisfied with that but in a moment after that he felt a silence of his home as heavy coat on his shoulders. Was it always this quiet? Nothing moved. His gaze fell upon the contract. There, on the paper stood his name signed as an invitation.

"Thorin, son of Thrain" it said like it was said out lout and he could picture his face as he examined Bilbo.

Bilbo looked up suddenly feeling the strike of madness, of pure spite and determination.

Could he? Could he be that crazy Hobbit? More so could he be the burglar? Could he travel with Thorin Oakenshield like he's a brave man, worthy one?

He threw one look at his quiet and still home before he took the pen to sign his name after Thorin's. When that was done there was no doubt left in Bilbo. It was official, their names were on the same piece of paper and with that Bilbo pledged to partake in their adventure with all he had to offer. He'll see was the wizard correct to take him for a burglar. For now there was a pressing need to pack before they all got too far ahead to catch up with them.

Luckily as the dwarves packed someone left a gear by the door. Bilbo just put everything in his bag and with running pace went out of his safe home. He was running breathlessly not caring about neighbours, politeness, or tardiness, he got to make it on time. He didn't even noticed when he jumped over the last hedge that separated Shire from the world, there were dwarves ahead that he needed to catch.

"Wait, wait" he yelled as he caught up with them. "I signed it" he waved the contract like that little signature erases all inadequacies there were on him for this quest. Balin inspected it with his looking glass like he's trying to find a mistake in Bilbo's spelling his name.

Bilbo looked at Gandalf and Thorin as he waited. Gandalf looked comfortingly pleased. Thorin looked less comforting, but here he was, contract was signed and accepted.

"Welcome, Master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield" said Balin kindly.

"Give him a pony" yelled Thorin without ceremony with his raw voice.

Bilbo tried to fight against it but like all his protests so far it was met by crude efficiency as he was lifted and seated on a pony.

It was an uncomfortable way to travel. But he was preoccupied by current discomforts to think of a bigger picture. Even worse, he forgot his handkerchief. What he was offered instead could be insight in what discomforts were ahead, but he was a determined Hobbit. He may not be as strong as a dwarf, or tall, nor he's skilled fighter, but he was a determined man, once he made a decision he would follow it through no matter the cost.

With that he lifted his gaze looking ahead. Thorin sat in his saddle like he did everything else so far, with dignity and grace. Bilbo looked at his back and didn't look behind.

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	17. Questions and answers

_Still no beta so you'll have to excuse my language. I'm pressing on chasing this story._

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><p>Thorin was surprised when Hobbit's voice caught up with them. What was he doing here? Thorin looked around just to see his open, proud and cheerful face. That explained it. Master Baggins didn't know the peril that were ahead, but he'll learn soon enough.<p>

"Give him a pony" he shouted. That way he'll keep up.

Of course there were seat back because of him. He thought they all can turn back so easily just for his accessories. But Thorin decided he will not be bothered by their new burglar. He focused himself straight ahead. His path was before him.

He ignored the Hobbit as much as he could, but there he was with his chattering voice asking questions, telling stories. Thorin thought about their quest.

One night he was just leaned against the rock not listening to those around him, resting his eyes when he heard the hated word Orc. He got up just to find Fili and Kili messing around because of the Hobbit. Thorin lashed out on them, they had a courtesy to look ashamed.

As he walked away the story began, the one Fili and Kili haven't heard yet. The ugly one. The story in which he come by his name. He hated that name because of that day, but that hate drove him further to fight the insane and desperate parts of himself.

Balin told it like it was, with simple words and without embellishment. Dwarf's stories didn't need to get pretty, truth was that this was a cold and unforgiving world, dead stay dead no matter how you cry.

That's why Thorin doesn't cry. Even as he listens and images haunt him vivid and close like he's still there surrounded by a pile of bodies. He looks at the distance with a steady stare challenging the distance to confront him. He'll fight to his last breath and even then he will not apologize. He had every right to hate the world and most of those who occupied it.

As the story ended with Balin pledge of allegiance to a king without his kingdom Thorin turned around knowing they are watching and they needed of him to be strong. His strength was only thing that kept them together.

"What of the pale orc?" Hobbit again asked a question too many, question that would lead to doubt and insecurity so Thorin cut him down with the thing he told to himself many time over. The pale Orc had to be dead, what was the point of that battle if he wasn't?

They've pressed on, days were changing between riding and sleeping. Dwarves were chattering, Hobbit asked his questions, Gandalf pushed his own ideas. Thorin had fight him. Maybe he needed a help of a wizard but he sure didn't need a help from elves.

When Gandalf left in anger Thorin felt some amount of piece giving out his orders. Things were better this way, when he had only his men to look out for. Of course Hobbit was still there with his questions and lack of trust.

Soon even his voice got lost in the murmur of his men talking in low voice, eating the food, teasing Bombur. Thorin thought he could sleep now when Fili stormed into camp with news of trolls.

Thorin jumped up.

"Don't worry our burglar is on the job, he'll steal them back" he said with confidence and Thorin growled and rushed to save that little fool.

When they arrived Kili and the Hobbit were on the ground he rushed into the caotic battle. Trolls may be stupid and slow but they were big and strong to compensate they weakness. But Thorin didn't think they could lose, each and one of his men was ready for the fight to the end but then that Hobbit got himself caught.

Thorin watched him in frustration. Why couldn't he just flee the battlefield like any civilian would do? Thorin was tempted to just charge on and let the fate decide will Mister Baggins lose any limb but he stared right at Thorin with his big terrified eyes and Thorin couldn't bring himself to charge. He would if any of his men were in that position. Dwarves had strong limbs and none of them would plead him nothing but to charge on. Thorin threw his sword with anger breaking the contact with those pale terrified eyes. Why had he come when he was so afraid to die?

Afterwards he laid down all striped into a bag like a grocery surrounded by his men. Some were already on the fire and Thorin knew he had made a wrong decision. He should have left that little creature to die, he said he would when they started, he had no debt towards that strange man.

As that wasn't enough Mister Baggins had a courtesy to get up and talk to the trolls like they were normal beings. It was most disconcerting when they talked to each other discussing the seasoning like they were mindless meat.

Thorin was enraged at that little fellow but as he started to speak about parasites and enraged his men Thorin could see on his easy readable face despair with them. Thorin finally got where he was going, he was fighting with words, and trolls were weak there, so he hit his stupid men when they argued him. Good punch was always enough for thick dwarves heads to understand so they supported Hobbit's attempts. Attempts that would fail miserably if there wasn't for Gandalf who was over with his anger.

Later on Gandalf contradicted him on the subject of Hobbit's blame for their defeat. Thorin didn't argued with him because he wasn't willing to explain himself and discouraging effect Hobbit's scared eyes had on him. He said that he won't be responsible for his fate and he won't. It was too close to losing from mere mountain trolls.

But he was out of his mountain and other creatures were around them. He have to use all the help he can get. That's why he kept the elfish blade. It may come in handy and it was better made than those men did.

Like trouble heard he had a new blade there was that other wizard with disturbing news which were followed by a pack of Wargs. How did Orcs find them was the mystery, but then again his head had a bounty on it. As they ran despair and anger caught up with him and he knew he had lost the control over the situation.

Of course old wizard managed to turn even that unexpected situation into his favour and led them straight to Rivendel.

Thorin cringed inside when he saw their intact white halls full of light and peace. Wizard guaranteed to Thorin his loyalty and Thorin went inside griping his blade, whishing he was outside fighting Wargs and Orcs, he was better at that than staying on the good side of the elves.

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	18. Fear

As the journey went on Bilbo kept his distance to Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain. It was all too clear to Bilbo that Thorin wasn't very fond of him. He kept himself close to Gandalf who continued to explain things to Bilbo and encourage him.

"Home is behind" he said "the world is ahead" and Bilbo felt excitement about their adventure.

Which turned into a dull thing with rain, that Gandalf didn't stop, beds on a hard ground, foods without proper seasoning, cold, wind, and wasteland full of disconcerting sounds and voices.

Bilbo continued to talk just to hear his own voice and got different stories from dwarves that surrounded him. Soon he could tell them apart and to know a bit about every one of them.

Gloin had a wife. He was brother with Oin with whom was hard to talk to because of his hearing. Bombur cooked, which wasn't surprising. Kili was young and enthusiastic about their trip, world and a wizard. Fili was proud of his weapons and fighting skills which he showed off daily on the end of their day. Bofur continued to show his strange sense of humour. Bifur talked and everyone except Bilbo understood. Dwalin kept himself quiet sharpening his axe, Bilbo didn't go near him; his silence was full of disapproval. Balin was most talkative of them all and was ready to explain and comfort, Bilbo liked him the most. Ori, Nori and Dori kept for themselves but Dori was proud of his keen sense of style, others found him to be a dandy, Nori was cross because he had lost a wager because of Bilbo's appearance, Ori was simply shy spending his time writing on scrolls. Bilbo sometimes watched him write wishing he brought with him his paper and pen.

Of Thorin he knew nothing; that is until Balin told his tale, the tale of the loss of his father and grandfather, and of gaining his name. It was quite some story. Bilbo could understand after that why he was so distant and cold, the loss ached him. Bilbo kept his distance but he couldn't help but watch him closely.

It seemed everyone kept an eye on him, to see what he will order, where he will sit. That was understood now, he was a prince, king even, and even in his exile sitting in the mud he kept his kingly posture. But that was not what Bilbo saw.

Bilbo saw his solitude. Maybe because Bilbo himself was alone in this world, he could see the bubble of loneliness that enveloped him. Other dwarves all sat and slept in little groups. Groups of brothers and cousins, as he discovered their relations, but Thorin sat alone. Even when they talked to him and surrounded him there was always a gap of air between him and them. They all gathered talked funny stories, clapped their backs, banged their heads, and leaned on each other. Thorin stood alone tall as a tower, seeming like he needs no support from anyone.

As he spoke to Gandalf, each holding their hands in front of them Bilbo started to feel a strange desire, desire just to come closer and sit near Thorin, inside of his invisible bubble, just to impose himself on his space. Just to make him notice the closeness. Of course he did nothing of sorts. Thorin himself was like a bear, or a dragon, it would be dangerous to poke him just for fun.

But Bilbo didn't hold any real fear in front of Thorin. Bilbo studied him closely, as he did everything they passed by, he was in the strange world, it was the best to watch out, and found him to be fair to his men. His voice may be strong and his authority big, but his actions were gentle. His nephews, Fili and Kili, would always be near him, even in their mischief Bilbo could see how they cared of him, and how, although he growled, he never really punished them for their puns.

Despite of his lack of fear Bilbo kept his distance, he wanted to avoid the embarrassment of being yelled at.

Embarrassment came anyway. Even if he did bought them enough time for Gandalf to finally show some of his wizardness, he was caught by Trolls twice and got them into sacks ready for eating. He couldn't but hear Thorin's strong voice when he objected him to Gandalf, and even if Gandalf did defend him, the blame was still his. He found comfort that he did talked to Trolls long enough to make them into stone. They were stupid enough to say in front of them that they would. And the fact that he managed to fulfil his task of freeing the ponies. When he would get and assignment he would fulfil it no matter what. Maybe he wasn't courageous like Thorin was with his charging and swashing his sword, but when he would focused himself on his task the fear couldn't get to him.

Different thing was to be held by Trolls helpless watching Thorin in his angry eyes, not knowing would he just leave to them to tear him apart. That wasn't comforting moment, nor was it comforting that because of that they almost got eaten.

That's why he held his distance to Thorin, he didn't want to look into his eyes and see contempt. He dwelled before the cave looking at discarded things. He wasn't eager to come inside anyway, it had an awful odour. That's how Gandalf had found him with his offering of the elfish sword. He wasn't willing to take it, it was clearly shown he wasn't a fighter, and no sword would change that, but then he said it glows blue when Orcs are near, that seemed useful.

No matter how he lacked skill he still held his new blade like he would know what to do with it when that brown wizard came from out of the wood. Gandalf looked respectful and powerful beside him.

Bilbo stood with dwarves while those two talked and then there was nightmare in daylight. The joke became reality as Thorin slayed two Wargs like they were puppets. Still even Thorin's face showed fear and Bilbo got really scared. As they ran Bilbo tried to keep up to the front hopping he won't end up alone with those beasts. Then Kili shot an Orc with that small bow of his and Bilbo could see it from up close. He had no desire to see them alive, but he couldn't see where they could hide. Still Gandalf led them somewhere. When he suddenly disappeared, Thorin held his ground, and dwarves yelled how Gandalf betrayed them. Bilbo remembered how just few hours earlier Thorin had called him a traitor. He wasn't that, surely Gandalf wasn't either. Just then Gandalf emerged from behind a rock and they all went down into the rock.

Down there they could hear trumpets.

"Elves" said Thorin with disdain and they went away from the sound of fighting.

Bilbo looked at Gandalf who looked to peaceful. He knew where they were going. As they went Bilbo could sense tingling sensation that magic would produce, it reminded him on childhood and Gandalf's tricks.

All that was confirmed when they emerged before Rivendell. Bilbo had heard of it, and read tales of its beauty but nothing could compare to the sight before him. Peace, beauty and grace, and that was just the city. Finally Bilbo would meet the elves. He wondered would they live up to his expectations. He did often think of them, they couldn't be so unearthly.

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	19. Cool stream

Inside of elfish quarters Thorin felt uneasy. He felt like their manners, music, walls, everything scratched him. His dwarves eased up that feeling because they kept behaving like themselves, loud, happy, and uncivilized. They threw food around, sung with their raw voices, ignored elfish looks of disdain and that warmed his heart. That's why he tried to look just at them but there was need for talking to their host. Thorin had manners although he fought them.

Even that little Hobbit got quiet as they walked in. It was hard to look at him in awe of this place. Thorin expected of him to stay here, to fulfil that need that overcome most, to stay and bathe in the beauty. Thorin knew that beauty was treacherous.

He had a strange desire to warn little Hobbit of that, but he fought it. It wasn't his place to protect that little fool.

"But what if he stays" argued Balin with him in low voice, he had noticed Hobbit's behaviour too "he signed a contract we can call upon it. He has a duty towards us, when we get to the mountain we'll need him."

"You saw it yourself" Thorin said irritated "little lad didn't prove himself in anyway so far, only clumsiness and trouble follows him. Let him stay, the path ahead is dangerous one, we'll step into the wild, there he will be only a burden, he has no place upon us."

Balin looked at him with doubt but compliant, he himself wasn't very sure Hobbit is the person for the job.

"When we get to our mountain and open that door we'll manage from there" Thorin placed his hand on Balin's shoulder.

"If we're lucky that dragon died in its sleep" sighed Balin.

"We're rarely that lucky" smiled Thorin "but it could be so."

"Come on Balin" Dwalin patted him in passing "let's go to the water."

"We don't want to stink to these fine elves" added Bofur mockingly.

"Or our refined burglar, for that is" said Ori.

"To his fine nose" mocked Nori.

"I didn't mean nothing by it" Bilbo raised his voice after some time of gentle talking "that was just for Trolls to buy time."

"Say no more, we'll go to the water" shouted Gloin.

"There is a fine big bath down there" explained Dori with his gentle voice "will you join us Thorin?"

"No" Thorin shook his head "you go, enjoy yourselves, you sure deserve some cleaning."

"There'll be some splashing around" said Fili "I'll push every one of you below water, no matter how old you are."

"Come on Bilbo" yelled Kili "promise we will not drown you."

"No, thank you" Hobbit raised his hands defending himself from rolling dwarves "we Hobbits value privacy in such matters, not big fans of water under the open sky."

Soon as they came along dwarfish noise went away behind a corner and for a brief moment Thorin and the Hobbit stood alone. Mister Baggins clapped his hands behind his back and nodded turning his gaze away.

"There's some path ways that way" he murmured and withdrew.

Thorin was left alone. Noise of his companions could be heard as they descended down. He could have followed them, but he knew they would have much more fun without him. They'll behave like children, like they always do when Fili and Kili lead them. Rather than that Thorin turned towards the river. Cold stream will clear his head. They did need cleaning, the road had battered them.

On the river bank Thorin took his clothes off and just stood there for awhile in the cool breeze and late sun. He was clothed for so long that clothes became his second skin. He felt exposed and vulnerable. Like anyone could penetrate his skin with axe, sword or arrow. It was foolish to stand like that with his eyes closed but he trained himself against his fear. Come what may he will not yield in fear. When he finally felt his fear wither away and make place for simple sensation on his skin that sun made. He got used to that sun, open space, clear wind, they had their advantages, but he'll be glad to be back at his caves.

With that he opened up his eyes and with determination walked into the stream of cold water.

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><p><em>Thnx for the reviews. Don't know really why the lack of reviews, maybe i just write too often to be missed :) I think we'll be moving on swiftly, there's some more road to travel through.<em>


	20. A good view

Bilbo was left speechless. The elves were so thin and tall. They moved around with such grace. Everything about them was still, graceful and profoundly beautiful. The city itself was a thing of beauty you could stare at for hours. Bilbo wandered through the halls and streets just gazing around.

He felt tiered, battered and alone. The beauty of Rivendell made it all more clear how run down he was.

They were on the road for some time now, but it wasn't the trip that wore him out. It was Thorin. It was all his fault. If it wasn't for him Bilbo would enjoy this whole trip, all perils included. The dwarves turned out to be a merry gathering as Gandalf promised. Their stories, songs and jokes were good ones. The trip was hard but everything was new. The danger came, but Bilbo felt confident he will survive. Everything was as promised, adventure that changes lives.

If there only wasn't the matter of Thorin. His madness was too palpable to Bilbo. He could sense it from afar. He knew from the start that Thorin wasn't really convinced in Bilbo's usefulness in this trip but since Trolls held him things got much worse. Before, Thorin didn't even bother to look at Bilbo, and that was fine. Bilbo felt free to move around and ask his questions. Since Trolls made him look straight at Bilbo it seemed that Thorin angry eyes followed him everywhere.

That's why he didn't ask all the question that came into his mind since they arrived to Rivendell. And that's why he wandered around alone distancing himself from the company of dwarves. He considered should he travel on with them or turn back and find home. He'll surely have less trouble on his own. He really could be unseen when he wanted to. To be so fiercely seen by Thorin was really uncomfortable.

Even the excitement of discovering map's secret writing was diminished by that. That's why when lord Elrond offered him to stay in Rivendell he considered his offer. Elves surely had things to offer from books, to music, it was a place full of history, but still there was the matter of Thorin Oakenshield. Bilbo had signed a contract with him and if he wants to breech that contract he would have to talk about it with Thorin. Bilbo just knew that, even though Thorin wanted to get rid of Bilbo, he'll still despise Bilbo for giving up.

Besides that there was still something on Thorin that captured Bilbo's attention, and now he couldn't study it further because of Thorin's focused anger.

For a brief moment he could watch Thorin without being seen because he spoke confidentially with Balin. Although he could not hear them he had a feeling he was their topic. That was maybe a moment to step in, to tell his goodbyes, because Gandalf had already set their departure in motion.

As he stepped in closer the stream of dwarves came along and they brought with them the talk of water and dwarves. Thorin looked so annoyed that Bilbo reconsidered his intention. Suddenly they were all gone taking Balin with them and he and Thorin were left alone.

It was a strange moment when he stared back to Thorin, he usually avoided contact pretending that he doesn't notice attention sent his way. Thorin, as expected, had no need to say something to ease up tension, or to explain himself. Deciding he wouldn't dare to go towards him Bilbo slowly withdrew backwards murmuring something about pathways.

When he was safely out of Thorin's sight he wasn't sure anymore should he stay, or should he go. With that insecurity he wandered the streets slowly descending towards the river.

With mention of Hobbit's inclination to avoid open water he felt strange attraction to it. He was far from Shire and he did things respectable Hobbit wouldn't, maybe he could overcome disdain of water.

Thinking about bathing and how he wouldn't want to stay in this stench when all dwarves would be bathed. Except for Thorin, or not.

Bilbo froze as he faced Thorin's bare back.

He just stared at naked dwarf not wanting to draw his gaze away in pure dread that Thorin would turn around at slightest movement in the air around him, turn and notice Bilbo staring. That didn't happen and Bilbo's mind started to notice sight before him. It was so strange to see Thorin bare. It was like he was bigger and smaller at the same time.

Clothes made him threatening in some way, while his pale skin covered in dark hair looked gentle. Besides that hard muscles below his skin looked like they could move world around. His hair looked the same but it got a flavour to it, like it was a shelter for his broad shoulders.

Thorin finally moved towards the water and Bilbo flew to remove himself from line of sight. When he was far enough Bilbo stopped and stared at the water wondering how it felt to just walk into the water, to let the stream wash around you. Soon enough he wiggled out of his clothes. If even Thorin decided to remove his scents Bilbo won't be left to be smelled upon.

The water was surprisingly cold but Bilbo forced himself in diving below the surface. It was harder than swimming in the lukewarm ponds of the Shire but it had refreshing ring to it. When he surfaced he felt renewed. Just as he put his feet on the pebbles he noticed that he wasn't alone anymore. Thorin had stood in all his naked glory facing him. His eyes were closed and Bilbo was sure he wasn't aware of his company. Deciding for a moment could he be so quiet and ran to his clothes unseen he choose to clear his throat. He could be unheard of, but there was a matter of the water, he couldn't silence it.

Thorin opened his eyes suddenly placing his hard gaze on Bilbo's head. Bilbo offered him a weak smile.

"It seemed like a good spot for a dive" Bilbo said in his polite manner.

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><p><em>Feel free to post few words for our beloved duo at the riverbank. And please don't expect any substantial action, it's way too early for that. Should have warn you in the beginning it will develop slow. Maybe you've got a clue by now :)<em>


	21. Weakness

_A/N: maybe soon you all will be awarded with an excellent beta and be saved from my error ways. Besides that I've looked into the future and find that I feel a bit of a dread before the Love that binds us. Love isn't easy task to live up to in writing so I hope I will suffice when the heart starts spilling out... or will it?_

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><p>Thorin greeted coolness of the stream. It suited his soul to feel the cold. He submerged below the surface feeling how the water reaches his skin underneath his hair. There were times when his hair got regularly washed, combed and beaded. His beard was grown and groomed. The braid on his beard had shown how far he had to go before his beard could be respected and ornamented with signs of power.<p>

After they've ben desolated into the world he had cut of his braid and shorten his beard ever since. It was not mentioned among his people but they had noticed for they had been longbeards. It was a rebellion of sorts, refusal to groom his beard as he expects to have a kingdom which it would represent. It showed his acceptance of circumstances they had found themselves in. In other aspect, he thought it gave his people certain kind of reassurance that he will not follow his elders into the wild and mad, that he will not abandon them in their need.

When he emerged from the water the sun had moved and there were no sunlight on his part of the shore. That's why he moved along to find some sun to dry his skin. He found a perfect spot and started to enjoy himself. Although dwarves were indifferent to hot and the cold there were certain pleasure in colliding of warm sunbeams and cold water drops. Thorin sighed relaxing into the silence and solitude, he had no time of peace in a very long time, and in that moment there came a noise that made other one present.

Thorin opened up his eyes just to be met by wet Hobbit face staring right at him like they've just encounter each other in some random social occasion.

"It seemed like a good spot for a dive" he said with his chattering voice. "I haven't swam in ages. These waters are tricky thing, gave me a bit of scare there. Should have gone with others in safer shores."

"They would probably drown you" Thorin said suddenly with raw voice and Hobbit looked startled and Thorin cleared his voice to sound less menacing. "That's what they do, they use water as excuse to battle each other. It involves lots of splashing around."

Little Hobbit nodded looking even more scared. Thorin thought Halfling couldn't look any less scary but with his hair soaked around his head he looked like some small drowned animal and for a second he felt sorry he'd been so hard on him. That's why he talked on.

"I prefer streams and solitude, less contact, more water" Halfling gave him that tight smile that Thorin didn't trusted and stood still. Thorin watched him for a moment in silence wondering how long will Halfling sit there maintaining eye contact. Isn't he cold by now?

For the look of it his skin went even paler than usual so Thorin broke eye contact in case that's what's bothering little Hobbit.

The water was still dripping from his hair down his back so he leaned forward and in few swift moves shake off excess of water. Then he scrubbed his scalp to warm it up. When he opened up his eyes Halfling was all flushed and pink in his cheeks looking at his distant clothes. Then it got to Thorin that little on was shy about his appearance. He did mention privacy earlier.

That's why Thorin removed himself from the sun and went to dress up. Maybe it's better that they talk with their clothes on. Thorin looked over his shoulder before he turned behind a rock. Hobbit was still there in the same position staring at nothing. That seemed odd to Thorin but then again nothing was ordinary on mister Baggins, he sure didn't act as any dwarf would do.

Clothes really is like an armour, Thorin thought as his skin got covered by layers, it protects you from feeling too much of your surroundings, without it even a soft breeze could provoke certain weakness in your chest.

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><p><em>hi hi, love this part before realization comes in.<em>


	22. Clouded stream

_A/N: Bilbo at the stream :)_

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><p>Bilbo chattered nervously. Thorin just stood there looking to Bilbo for the first time like a true majesty, a king. It was strange really how, without his clothes he managed to exude such dignity. Bilbo didn't dare to break eye contact, he had feared that his eyes could stray downwards and make him say something truly embarrassing.<p>

When he paused to take a breath Thorin said that he would be probably drowned by dwarves in their watery ventures. It sounded plausible, that wasn't what terrified Bilbo, nor was harsh Thorin's voice, he got used to both, Thorin's voice, and dwarves mischief, it was and image of close interaction and entanglement that drowning would require. Bilbo wasn't accustomed to bee even seen in nude, let alone touched. Touch in Bilbo's case was reduced to handshakes and occasional pats on his back, which got more common event since he joined dwarves. The mere image of entangled splashing naked bodies that would press his down not even noticing his small body in their easy to touch company, the mere sensation of being surrounded by touch was more dreadful than death itself. It seemed like most unpleasant experience.

"I prefer streams and solitude" Thorin continued to talk after a pause with his calming voice "less contact, more water" he said like he could read Bilbo's mind. That gave a little comfort to Bilbo because that only replaced pictures of crowding dwarves with Thorin swimming cutting through clear cold water. Bilbo couldn't make out what that image entails for him so he kept smiling his polite smile trying that could hide almost anything while he tried to free his mind from image of Thorin naked and in movement.

Just as he was on verge of success mentally covering Thorin with his clothes, he looked distant and safe that way, but then Thorin brake eye contact and moved making his efforts useless. To Bilbo's horror Thorin bent over and started to bend back and forth swashing with his hair through air sending trail of water drops in shiny spiral glistening on setting sun. As Bilbo watched that sight his mind went blank absorbing simplicity of the act as Thorin's muscles moved beneath his skin. Other parts Bilbo tried not to think about.

When that was over Thorin lifted his face towards the sun and with his eyes still closed entangled his fingers in his hair. That final act sent Bilbo over the edge he was avoiding so he had to drive his eyes of Thorin and to look anywhere else. He looked at his clothes that was so far away, there was no way to get to it now. He should have tried to reach it before he was spotted.

Thorin stood there a moment longer and then he mercifully removed himself from Bilbo's sight. Bilbo didn't dare to look after him. It was embarrassing enough without being caught staring after him.

When he was left alone that didn't solve his problem. He could just run for his clothes hoping no elf or dwarf would pop up to see him and then withstand some discomfort until his problem goes away like it never was. He liked that option because that way he could pretend nothing happened. But that walk from shore to his clothes bothered him. What if Thorin decides to come back to say something more? That thought made his problem a tad worse.

Bilbo squirmed digging his feet deeper into the pebbles and decided that it was best to deal with it on the spot. That way it wouldn't bothered him later on, it could be really embarrassing if it happens again. That's why, and only that, he reached down to free himself from discomfort. He usually hated that need to release tension, it took friction and time, but now it was over in a second. Bilbo watched as the water got clouded. He wasn't satisfied with himself, usually he was more restraint than this. The trip started to change him.

Good side was that he wouldn't have to think on such business for some time.

All dressed up Bilbo looked down the path on which Thorin had left and decided against it. He took a rocky path up the hill. When he was in upper halls he could hear dwarves mocking about and decided to avoid them too. He wandered darkened streets on his own finally sure in his decision.

He'll stay here for a brief while, until Thorin, Orcs and all other calamities goes away. After that he'll return to Shire. He was a small Hobbit, he belonged in his hole, not out here in this halls full of time, history and beauty.

As he walked he kept his hands behind his back, there was no need to touch anything really. That was his state of mind when Thorin had found him. This was the time to speak to him and discard their contract, surely he'll understand. After all Thorin had expected that from the beginning, who was Bilbo to deny him that. Surely no one important.


	23. Words

The dark was upon him and little Hobbit didn't come this way. Thorin looked at his part of the shore but there was no trace of him. Thorin couldn't make out which path did he take so he got back. Up there his dwarves laughed loudly. He liked that sound it connected him to his surroundings better than anything.

Thorin could tell Hobbit wasn't among them, they sounded differently when they were alone. That's why he looked for Halfling. His behaviour started to worry Thorin, not in some direct way, but as part of his group. Elves weren't known for companionship and dwarves knew the strength that was in numbers. Halfling was too much alone lately and Thorin had owed him that talk about Halflings desire to stay behind. They all will be safer that way.

It wasn't hard to find him, he stood alone in the middle of pathways and stared at the moon. Thorin thought he approached him quietly but Halfling turned around quickly looking at guard.

"Oh, Thorin" he smiled that tight smile of his again and Thorin got irritated. Halfling was hiding something from him, in that he was sure. But that wasn't important. "Just meant to find you" Halfling chattered on moving his arms around in hectic manner looking all kinds of insecure "you understand I'm man of my word and writing comes as a word of sorts, you dwarves surely value words…"

"The dwarf's word is only thing that matters" Thorin cut through his words none should doubt dwarf's word "honourable dwarf would do what it takes to honour his word, no matter what price that means. I'll go straight into dragon's flamed jaws if I have to, to honour my father."

"Well I hope that won't be necessary" Halfling frowned looking worried "surely stealth is the better way."

"You think you could do it" Thorin approached him leaning to his face, Halfling looked scared. "Thought as much" he withdrew.

"Now wait a minute" Halfling got upset "I didn't said I can do it, Gandalf said it, and I don't know…"

"Indecisiveness is for weak" said Thorin not turning around.

"I'm here, ain't I?" Halfling shouted finally sounding like a male "I've signed that damn contract and following you through all this madness. I've run from Orcs of all things."

"You didn't mention Trolls" Thorin turned his profile towards him examining his reaction with edge of his eye.

"At least I let ponies go" he argued "that was my task and I did fulfill it" Thorin smirked so he added "after that I got clumsy, but till then I was fine."

Thorin turned around and folded his arms over his chest.

"What, are you complaining we went in to rescue you?"

"No, no, that's not what I said" he lifted his finger waving with it.

"And what are you saying mister Baggins" Thorin mocked him "you did began in saying something about words but you seem reluctant to voice it out."

Halfling clasped his arms behind his back.

"I think all is said" he nodded like he had explained everything. Then the Halfling turned his back to him and Thorin had to agree everything was said. All was packed, mister Baggins will probably just fall behind and disappear without reaching the end of the sentence.

He considered should he say anything more when voices came through the air. Gandalf and lord Elrond had discussed his fate like it was theirs to shape. He could listen to that, his path was before him, his mind set, but then elf turned to the madness and Thorin turned away. Madness in his family was his personal demon and it tormented him during the years. What right did they have to speak of it so lightly?

It was time to go, there's no time to wait for wizards tricks; their mind was already set about him. He was just a mad dwarf who had no right of his own in this foreign land.

As he stormed between his men they all got silenced and got dressed. No words were needed they all followed him in silence and soon they were out on the free air. Thorin could almost smell the wild that laid before them.

They were high up in the mountain when he first turned around and realized that the Halfling was still there. That was a mystery to Thorin. But he obviously misunderstood Hobbit's words.

"Master Baggins" Thorin spoke up "I suggest you keep up." If he decided to earn his title in this company he'll have to walk fast because no one is to be waited. Too many had already knew of their journey. Time was running out.

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><p><em>Do review.<em>


	24. Peace of mind

Bilbo instantly knew Thorin was approaching him by the sound of his footsteps hard and swift. Bilbo put up his polite smile and turned to face him, he'll have to be step ahead of him. Don't want to be caught in unwanted thoughts.

"Oh Thorin" Bilbo started his prepared speech of his own departure but he never seemed to manage get the right words out. Thorin's stare made it difficult to think of the right phrase, it seemed easier while he thought about it in solitude. Things got worse when Thorin declared scarcity of the given word and went on to picture himself striding into the flames. That image Bilbo considered deeply disturbing, he would be smarter than that, would he?

"Stealth is a better way" Bilbo tried to argue with him but only got him to get angry. Bilbo got angry too so when Thorin challenged him to say out loud he's giving up Bilbo withdrew.

"I think all is said" Bilbo turned away from him. Thorin saw no value in him, there was no need to humiliate himself further by declaring his departure. He would have left Bilbo behind anyway. Everything suggested to that, and since Trolls it was all too clear.

Bilbo expected of him to just leave it at that but them Gandalf and Elrond came to sight. As their voice came towards them Bilbo realized they are discussing Thorin. Bilbo looked him with corner of his eye hoping he would leave, it was always best not to know what exactly people are saying about you when you're not around. You could imagine it pretty lively anyway, there was no need in hearing it. People were keen in saying things just to say them, they rarely thought it through.

But this were wizard and an elf maybe it won't be that bad.

It got worse. As they spoke of madness in Thorin's family Bilbo tried to stay detached, that didn't concern Bilbo. It was just an awkward moment and he needed to look forward to avoid acknowledgment that anything happened, to let Thorin keep his dignity. As they went out of sight Bilbo turned to say sometning meaningless and polite to Thorin but he had left. His departure was so swift Bilbo didn't notice it.

As he looked at the empty space he just knew Thorin is leaving Rivendell in this moment. He was that kind of a dwarf, he wouldn't stay and pretend that he hadn't heard anything disturbing.

That was it them. He'll never see Thorin Oakenshield again. He stood there for a moment longer looking around to all that beauty and felt nothing towards it. On the lower path appeared pair of elves. Bilbo looked at them and their grace and beauty but felt nothing towards it. They were beautiful and cold like distant stars. They hadn't had a burning flame that was lit behind Thorin's eyes.

Bilbo stood there trying to erase those eyes from his mind but when that was accomplished he felt like the world became empty and hollow place. He thought about Thorin striding towards Lonely Mountain, about dragon's flames, of his solitude and in the end of the madness.

Thorin couldn't go mad, or could he? Maybe Gandalf is right maybe someone so small like him could make some difference in the end. What if his departure means their defeat in the end? What if lack of his sound reason and some wit makes the difference between mad Thorin and sane one? Maybe his contribution won't be a big one, but still important enough on the scale of things to keep Thorin sane and in safety of his home.

That made Bilbo hurry. He could never be at peace in his own home imagining thirteen of them in the cold, wet, or in the flames. He'll have to see the end of this to have a peace of his own.


	25. Not belonging

_A/N: Sorry for the delay. Other things took precedence. Hopefully soon I'll have more time for bringing Thorin and Bilbo closer together. For now some falling apart._

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><p>Thorin climbed the mountain with a steady pace determined to move forward. The wild was before them, the rock surrounded them and he strode as he could get there tomorrow. The rain started to fall and the dark was upon them before they could reach safer grounds. Damn Mountain was bigger than he anticipated. He had hoped that they'll reach something at least broad enough to lay safely. But all that was before them was a narrow path that ended in a steep cliff. Thorin continued to walk into the darkness trying to banish grim predictions from his mind.<p>

He was nervous about the elves that they've left behind but new danger was ahead. Everything looked normal in one moment in other there were stone giants throwing rocks at each other in the midst of storm. They gripped the rock as strong as they could but part of the rock turned out to be part of another giant and his dwarves hung from its leg. Thorin yelled, all seemed to be lost. Kili was out of sight, Thorin felt dread, not him, not this way. But as the giant fell it hit the mountain and his dwarves, strong folks as they were, managed to clench to the mountain side and survive. All were there, his kin.

"Where's Bilbo. Where's the Hobbit" Bofur shouted and Thorin realized who was missing, Halfling didn't stay behind, his mind expected him to be elsewhere.

"Here" they shouted and Thorin leaned just to see small drowned Hobbit hanging from the edge looking terrified. Without second thought Thorin jumped down and in an instant threw Hobbit to safety. But rock beneath him turned out to be weak and in the next moment he felt how he's falling to abyss. If there wasn't for Dwalin's firm grip Thorin would be lost into oblivion. As he stood he straightened his clothes mad at himself. He did it again. He just didn't think. Just because of Hobbit's terrified eyes he once again risked their whole quest and his own life. It was just a blink between his fall and salvation. Thorin turned just to be met by Hobbit's still terrified eyes, they looked like lakes of horror and Thorin got even angrier. Why was he like that? Why was he still here? What do they need him for?

"He's been lost ever since he left home" he said loudly finally letting out his inner disapproval. "He has no place among us."

He turned from the Halfling banishing him from his mind. There was a cave finally and they could all rest. Thorin laid there with no sleep in his eyes. Halfling hanging from the cliff, himself falling, Halfling falling and screaming, himself falling in silence. This trip was doomed from the start. They had no chance. Especially because all depended upon that little Hobbit that had no skill or strength. Thorin had to go forward even if he saw the death approaching him, he felt it walking beside him from the start, but he worried of his dwarves. Would the Halfling cause them all to fail and die?

He was in that kind of thoughts when he heard Halfling leaving. He firmed his gaze forward not wanting to participate. He had said all that was too said. Of course Halfling had that kind of treachery in him to leave in the midst of perils. It was the weakness in him that could be seen from the start. Although he expected Halfling to leave, still the treachery ached Thorin. No matter how big the pile that states the treacherous nature of the world, still every new proof of it hurt.

Hobbit said that they are dwarves that they don't belong anywhere, and Thorin felt the cold swirling inside of him. Let that little creature be gone already.

"What is that?" Bofur said and Thorin looked just to see blue shine.

"Wake up" he shouted in vain knowing they have already been caught.


	26. Small and unnoticeable

_A/N: After a short pause here is some rejection. Sad Bilbo._

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><p>Peace wasn't something he found climbing the mountain. Thorin strode forward. Just once did he turned back and acknowledge Bilbo's existence.<p>

"I suggest you keep up, Master Baggins" he said and kept climbing.

Bilbo did keep up but his heart wasn't in it. With each step he felt like he's going into the true wild, there where nothing is known and danger is at every corner. Like the mountain can hear his thoughts rocks started to fly around as they were pebbles. Stone giants emerged from the rock and in his horror Bilbo still was in awe of their greatness. He never believed they really existed in this world. But then all wonder was erased as he went riding one of those creatures. His life passed before his eyes as he screamed on the cold wet rock trying to hold on to something

As he saw pending crush to the mountain he tried to jump over to safe ground but he was too small and where others jumped into safety he slipped down the cliff. He managed to grab to the edge but he felt how the strength leaves his fingers. The fear clenched his throat and he couldn't even yell for help. He thought that this is it, the end of Bilbo Baggins.

Dwarves realized he wasn't amongst them but their arms were too short. They shouted at him like he can let go and reach up. It was useless, he'll fall anyway.

But then Thorin looked down at him and instead of just offering his hand as others did he jumped down and threw Bilbo up to arms of waiting dwarves.

They put them on the path and Bilbo sat there still without a voice gasping for air, not sure he really did survive. Dwarves patted him happy he's well but then Thorin came to sight again all inflamed with hate.

He looked at Bilbo with scorn and disdain but all Bilbo could think is how big and beautiful he looks.

"He never should have come" Thorin said and Bilbo knew he was right.

Bilbo was just a small, weak, ordinary Hobbit who belonged in his house in Bag End. He had nothing to offer here in the wild. Here Thorin ruled, here he knew how to fight and stay on his feet. It was silly to think Bilbo has anything to offer to him.

As others moved towards the cave Bilbo pulled himself up deciding that he won't be in the way anymore. He'll just go down the mountain. He knows how to follow the path. He's still close enough to Elrond's home. From there he'll manage. Dwarves will be alright without him.

He laid waiting for everyone to fell asleep and then he got up to go. Unlucky for him he wasn't invisible so he had to talk to Bofur. He liked Bofur and he had to offer some kind of explanation but it came out wrong. He wanted to say that they know how to survive, how to go where they are not home but it turned out into something cold he would never want to say.

"Not belonging anywhere" he said and knew he was wrong as soon as the words left his mouth. But then his sword glowed blue and floor opened beneath them.

They fell into the ground and were soon surrounded by goblins. Bilbo looked around bewildered as everyone shouted and resisted. But then he remembered why he was different than them. He was small and unnoticeable. That's why he crouched down and went still. He couldn't believe when they went without him. But then he was alone and lost inside of the mountain. What will he do with his escape? He hadn't time to think about it when a goblin found him.


	27. Strange feeling

_A/N: here thanks to my new wonderful review a new chapter, feel free to give me more of those :) Thorin fighting_

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><p>Falling into the mountain, fighting and running from goblins was unsettling. The goblins, their stench, ugliness and wickedness enhanced known feelings, the ones he got used in years. The hate, disdain, recognising his name and mentioning his father's just to be scorned at, to be despised. That was all known all too well. But the smell of the rocks and caves inside of the mountain ached him more. Because they were foreign to him, because this wasn't his mountain. Goblins took it as the orcs took Moria, Smaug Lonely Mountain. It seemed like dwarves are running out of mountains to drill into. Watching Goblin King and listen to his mocking was hard but he had his defiance and his own anger towards the world. Also he had hope that he'll find a way out of this.<p>

No matter how many goblins surrounded him he had a mad belief that thirteen of them could get out alive, every single one of them. Losing their weapon was set back but they were dwarves, everything could be their weapon. He waited his moment and soon it appeared in form of Gandalf. They didn't need any more of encouragement to start fighting. Weapons were all around them and they used them. They took weapons from their foes, used their bridges against them and fought their way out.

Fighting was liberating. There was so much anger in Thorin that rarely got an opportunity to really get out. It came handy in a fight like this one.

They ran down the mountain and when they've stopped Thorin could see he was right. All his dwarves were around him. Fighters' every last one of them, dwarves he could rely on without looking back.

As they gathered their breath commotion started again about that damn Hobbit. When will they accept that he isn't one of them? That his loyalty lies somewhere else.

He couldn't hold it in anymore so he spoke up.

"We will not be seeing our Hobbit again. He's long gone" he could feel the bitterness of his words. Betrayal, no matter how expected, always hurt.

"No, he isn't" Hobbit's voice appeared from nowhere and he stood there unscratched as they didn't just go through hell to get here.

Thorin just stared at him as others asked unimportant questions about the way he came back. He looked at that Hobbit not understanding what is he seeing. He had heard him, just before they've fell, of the reason he's leaving. Those reasons Thorin understood although they ached him. But this was beyond reason. Why would he come back when he has so much to lose and they mean nothing to him?

That's why he stepped out when others settled with his silence. Thorin had to understand, the time for silence was over, and he has to tell them why.

"I want to know" he said out front "why did you come back?"

Hobbit looked him in the eye and smiled that kind smile that reached his eyes looking genuine.

"Look, I know you doubt me" he said to Thorin with his gentle voice. "You've always have" he added lightly like it doesn't even concern him.

Then he continued to talk about a home, his home evoking pictures of warmth, calmness and safety. Picturing the place he loves and misses, then he connected that picture to their lost home like it was that beautiful, like they could find like that again, unstained by the time that passed in between. Like he felt their loss and took it as his own.

"But I will help you take it back, if I can" he finished humbly and suddenly Thorin felt something strange. Something he didn't remember feeling in a very long time. He felt repentant for his behaviour. But more than that he felt freed from his anger and his chest weren't clenched anymore. He felt something almost gentle inside. And after a long time it seemed that there's still beauty in this world.

He looked at the Halfling and he looked him back with his open beardless face like it was simple thing, him standing there, not rushing back to safety leaving them to take care of themselves.

Just as he acknowledged that feeling there were Wargs approaching and the time for anything gentle was gone.

"Out of the frying pan…" said Thorin feeling how anger and dread creep up back to his chest to take claim of him.

"And into the fire" finished Gandalf and they started to run again chased at, and up to the trees. It seemed that there is no rest for them. Nothing peaceful.


	28. Steel

_A/N: Some Bilbo's exposing himself_

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><p>Fighting with goblin, falling down and then exchanging riddles with that creature was like a long night mare but Bilbo kept it together. He was alone in the belly of the mountain but he could find his way only if he stays calm. Like his mother said, anxiety is enemy of the mind, he just have to think clearly. Most things about Gollum were disturbing and frightening but he had to keep his mind in the game. Bargaining for the ring was his only leverage so he held it tightly. But through that grip something cold and strange crept up his spine but he described it to his surroundings and Gollum's voice. Riddles, he has to think clearly. Fear that Gollum wouldn't honour their game make his voice to tighten. It all seemed lost when Gollum lost sight of him and he discovered he was unseen.<p>

World looked like it was dimmed behind a curtain and that curtain enveloped Bilbo keeping him out of sight. He hadn't thought of it much, he was too scared still, but he used it to get out.

As Gollum stood between him and the exit Bilbo thought he has to act, that he has to kill him to get out but then he looked at his big scary eyes and didn't see anger. He saw sorrow and pain and he couldn't bring himself to harm him. It had to be another way. Gollum was crouching to the ground so Bilbo took a chance to jump over him. Something a respectful Hobbit would never even try. But respectful Hobbit wouldn't ever caught himself wandering in dangerous passages of the mountain full of goblins. Respectful Hobbit was far behind him he thought as he ran over Gollum's head and after running dwarves that ran too quickly to catch up with.

When he finally got to them they had already caught their breath and started to worry about him. He almost took his ring off without second thought when Thorin spoke up. His voice made him hide behind a tree. Although he know it's unwisely to listen what someone talks while you're away he couldn't help himself. He remembered the night before and how Thorin scorned him. He was about to get back, wasn't he.

Bilbo looked behind thinking about leaving without goodbye listening to Thorin's angry voice but then, unseen he could finally hear what was hidden below the anger. Bilbo could hear the pain, disappointment that went beyond Bilbo himself and was directed towards the world itself.

"He thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since he first stepped out of his door" Thorin said and Bilbo thought about it. Thorin was wrong, he thought to himself, he had thought of them often but he thought of dwarves and their troubles also. And he thought of Thorin and his anger, his disapproval of Bilbo. If he leaves now this is what will stay in Thorin's mind about him. He'll be remembered as a soft quitter that cared of no one. But he cared about them, he cared about Thorin. He wanted to see them safe. That's why he took of his ring, put it in his pocket and stood before them.

Dwarves asked him how did he get passed the goblins and after a brief hesitation he discovered that he wasn't willing to share his new find with them. Maybe there was something of a burglar in him. Luckily they didn't persisted, but Thorin did. Although Thorin didn't wanted to know how but why. That answer Bilbo could give him and it was about the time to look him in the eye and tell him the truth. They travelled for weeks now one beside other, it was silly to pretend other one isn't there. So Bilbo looked him straight in the eye and admitted that he's homesick. He had a lot to miss, his books, garden, but they didn't have that luxury themselves and they were robbed of it. It was downright unfair and Bilbo didn't like it.

"And that's why I came back, cause you don't have one. A home. It was taken from you." As he said those words, as he admitted their loss, Bilbo could see how the steel withdraws from Thorin eyes and he looked at Bilbo without sting of disdain or anger. Bilbo felt like there was a pressure releasing somewhere inside of him. He hadn't realized that Thorin's disdain bothered him so deeply.

Thorin looked down when he stopped talking hiding his eyes and Bilbo looked away squirming a bit from discomfort. It wasn't easy just to expose himself like that in front of everybody.

He looked around at dwarves that seemed hopeful thinking how he grew fond of them when everything became frantic again.

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	29. A good omen

_A/N: we're reaching the end of the first movie. Now Bilbo and then off to uncharted space between movies._

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><p>Thorin hang on to the tree trying not to fall thinking only of their survival when Azog came to sight. The beast that beheaded his grandfather was still alive. There made the hate within him to burst out making him cold and focused. The whole world became narrow and small, nothing existed any more than Azog's face as he scorned him and mocked his survival. Survival wasn't important anymore, it never was. Pride was all that was left to Thorin. Not his throne, nor crown, nor the jewels, nor the gold. All that was taken by Smaug. But Azog tried to take his pride, to make them small and scared. Damn him if he let himself be small and afraid infront of him. To give him something to be triumphant about.<p>

If Thorin's time to die has come he surely won't go hanging from a tree falling into his death without even lifting his sword. Coward he never was. Azog challenged him and Thorin felt how his attention sharpens, the world was of no importance to him. Only thing that mattered was the chance to put his steel into Azog's scull. He descended from the tree determinate to fight, to give him the worth of his wrath but as any other thing this was denied to him also. His arms were weak, his stride slow, and his opponent strong and in higher ground. It wasn't long and he was tossed around by the mindless beast like he was a toy.

Soon he was on the ground giving up to his death. He can't get even that, even the glorious death will be denied to him. He'll die from the hand of the servant. It could be expected, everything else was taken already.

Just as he meant to greet his death something new happened. At first he didn't realize what it was, it came too fast but then he collided with the Orc and Thorin could see the small figure that was the Halfling as he fights violently for Thorin's survival. The fool, why would he do that? Doesn't he know that nothing is important anymore, that Thorin's survival isn't important anymore? But Halfling fought on like he can win and all Thorin could think of is that he have should made him go home, to safety, to his bed, armchair and books, away from the cruelty of the world. But there was nothing else he could do as the pain fell on him and everything went dark.

When the darkness came it wasn't soothing darkness because he fought it. There were his dwarves fighting maybe dying, and there was that foolish Halfling that thinks he could stand a chance against the Orc.

Thorin looked around in darkness expecting them to join him but none came. Were they sent elsewhere? Where do Hobbits go when they die? He should have died already.

But then, instead of his company in the darkness there was light. Thorin opened his eyes just to be met by Gandalf's smile. That damn wizard made them survive against all odds. But Halfling. He didn't wait with others on the tree, he ran, he fought. He surely died.

"Halfling?" was all Thorin could gather through his constricted throat.

"It's alright. Bilbo is here." Gandalf looked up with his face all lit up like it was normal thing for him to survive through this.

Thorin got up despite his aching body. He had to see the Halfling for himself. Thorin got up and find out that he really was there. Looking at him and smiling like nothing happened.

Thorin shrugged off worried dwarves of him and went towards the smiling Hobbit. His peace enraged him, didn't he know that he could have die out there that is a mere luck that he's standing here.

"But did I not say that you would be a burden" Thorin continued and Halfling's smile faded away but he still didn't moved away, holding his ground. "That you would not survive in the wild and that you have no place among us?" Thorin could hear how his voice is raw and menacing but Hobbit still didn't backed away of flinched holding his ground, showing that his bravery was still here that it wasn't just a moment of madness, looking Thorin right in the eye. But his eyes now showed the pain Thorin's unjust attack had inflicted on him.

Thorin paused and finally let his voice to loosen down. To this Hobbit he now owed his life and everything that comes after this moment on.

"I've never been so wrong in my life" Thorin admitted his fault for all to hear and reached for the Hobbit embracing him to his chest because nothing could transmit the depth of his gratitude.

Halfling was so small in his arms as he hesitantly accepted the contact. Thorin held him for a moment enjoying the feeling of being alive.

Apology was owed and Thorin had gave it but more than apology there was wonder. Wonder of this new moment the world has bestowed upon Thorin. There he was this Hobbit who owed them no loyalty and shared no blood with them but still he put his life to their disposal to reach their homes.

As they all turned to look at the Moutain Halfling showed his naïve optimism once more hopping that the worse is behind them. Although Thorin hadn't believe that for the first time he looked forward with hope. Maybe destiny had bestowed something better in front of them if it had sent them Halfling to care of them. That he will take as a good omen.


End file.
