Dragon Age 1. Chapter 1 Double Vision

**The idea for this story came from a one shot story from PheonRen. The story was featured on the Ridiculously Awesome Authors Forum. It was an incredibly smokin' hot smut story that had some real potential for a deeper story to be told. The posters on the thread were begging for the story to be continued, so the forum moderator contacted PheonRen about whether or not she was going to continue. She informed us that she had no intention of making it a longer story. She gave me permission to use her first chapter and delve deeper into this unique idea. In order to accommodate the plotline I did have to change and add a few things to her original story, however the extreme smutty parts are all still there and I even added an additional one. I do recommend you read the original, it's awesome. **

**Most people that read my stories know that I don't use a lot of swear words or brash language when describing a sex scene – not that there is anything wrong that. In PheonRen's story she used explicit words to express what was taking place. I didn't change that language because I feel it fits within the confines of the story as it is now, but as the story and characters progress there will be a change in the language. **

**There is definitely adult content in this chapter. Enjoy all of you cheeky monkeys! **

**Chapter 1**

"Feeling down n' dirty, feeling kinda mean, I've been from one to another extreme  
This time I had a good time, ain't got time to wait, I wanna stick around till I can't see straight  
Fill my eyes with that double vision, no disguise for that double vision  
Ooh, when it gets through to me, it's always new to me, my double vision gets the best of me"

_Double Vision by Foreigner _

Sabrina Cousland paced her room at the Palace like a caged animal. It had been two months since Loghain had died after slaying the Archdemon, bringing an end to the Blight. That decision had been the right one, even if Alistair was too pigheaded to see it. When she conscripted Loghain she knew he would be angry at her, but she never imagined he would betray her, betray the Wardens and agree to marry Anora. He had walked away from everything he claimed to have ever loved into the arms of everything he'd said he never wanted, just because of one man! Just because he couldn't allow himself to see beyond the need for revenge and see the bigger picture. He left her, after he had promised to never leave her. He left her to fight the damn Archdemon by herself. Damn him! No, fuck him!

As Warden Commander she had expected to take up her command at Vigil's Keep and start rebuilding the Grey Wardens. It was her task now since Alistair had walked away and set himself up as King. Two months later Anora had still not allowed her to leave Denerim. It had taken her a month to recover from the injuries she had sustained during the final battle, then Anora reasoned that the Hero of Ferelden needed to be present for the post Blight celebrations. Then it was that the Wardens needed show their support for the Crown by attending Alistair's Coronation and the royal wedding. That was two weeks ago and Anora had yet to release her to go and perform her duties. Sabrina was beginning to suspect that Anora was keeping her here to purposely rub it in her face that she had won – her father had died a hero, she remained on the throne, married to the man Sabrina still loved despite everything - a man that willingly chose Anora over her, and that is what hurt the most.

Anora had insisted Sabrina stay at the Palace and since her run in with Alistair two weeks ago she had managed to avoid him ever since.

_She had been slipping down a corridor to head to her room when she felt a large hand pull her into one of the empty guest rooms. The door slammed shut as she spun around to face her abductor. Alistair stood there with the same hateful expression on his face that he'd had since the Landsmeet. _

"_Alistair, what the hell?"_

"_I need to know why it has to be a Grey Warden to kill an Archdemon," Alistair demanded. _

_She glared at him as a cold smirk crossed her face, "Sorry, that is a Grey Warden secret."_

"_I am a Grey Warden!" He shouted._

_Sabrina laughed, "No you're not. You walked away from the Grey Wardens. That means you are no longer privy to my order's secrets."_

"_As King I have the right to know," Alistair demanded._

"_As King you have the right to know information as it affects you or your kingdom. That does not apply to the secrets of our order," Sabrina retorted. _

_Alistair grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her against the wall. "Bree, I order you to tell me." He stared at her as an animalistic hunger flickered across his eyes. Alistair had never been a rough sex type of guy. He was a passionate lover, but sweet and tender. This angry, forceful Alistair was new and she was surprised when she felt a twinge between her legs and heard her breath hitch. _

"_I'm a Grey Warden, Alistair. I don't answer to you," she sneered. She watched as Alistair's hard gaze slid down her face to her neck, then to her breasts as they rose and fell as she tried to catch her breath. _

_Sabrina looked at his handsome face that was now marred with disgust. He may loathe her, but his lustful stare betrayed his other desires. He pressed against her and forced himself between her legs. She could feel his arousal as he pushed against her groin and the twinge from before now coursed through her body as a violent tremor. _

"_If you want to be stubborn about it then I will find a way to make you talk," he hissed as he roughly kissed her lips. His hands forcefully pulled at her dress ripping it down the seams and exposing her breasts. His mouth immediately found her nipples and he roughly sucked on them to the point that both pleasure and pain surged through her. She moaned as her fingers intertwined through his hair. _

_Alistair's fingers nimbly undid the laces of his trousers, he hiked her dress up, tore off her small clothes and then plunged deep inside her. Her legs immediately wrapped around his waist as she drew him in. He groaned as he slammed into her and drove her with force against the wall pushing the air out of her lungs. She raked her nails across his back causing him to cry out in pain as he drove into her deeper and harder. He was violent, brutal and at times almost sadistic, but she had never been more turned on in her life. _

_He wanted her as badly as she wanted him, but the sex was crude, unapologetic and animalistic. The only emotions that were present from either one of them were anger, bitterness and crazed lust. He was fucking her, but she was no holds barred fucking him right back. She felt her body tense as the frenzied explosion set waves of sheer ecstasy surging through her and she cried out with pleasure. Alistair continued to slam into her until she felt him go rigid as he let out an uninhibited cry of satisfaction. His body fell against hers as he shook violently as the aftershocks rocked his body. _

_Her legs fell away from his waist and he immediately withdrew from her. She stood before him clothes torn and ripped, her hair completely disheveled, with bite marks and scratches exposed on her raw skin. Alistair couldn't even look at her as he quickly pulled up his trousers and fixed his tunic. He headed for the door and with his hand on the knob he turned to look at her. She had never seen such anguish and hopelessness before in someone's eyes. Then without a word he opened the door and left her there, to clean up the tattered pieces of her life. _

So for two weeks she had been sitting on her arse in her room or slinking around the castle trying to avoid both Alistair and Anora. She hated every minute alone at the Palace. She wanted to leave Denerim, leave this cold, unfriendly, dark place. She wanted to be free of Alistair and Anora. She was the Warden-Commander of Ferelden, she shouldn't be creeping around corridors trying to avoid the Bastard King and his Bitch Queen. She wanted to be under the sky and looking up at the stars—or the clouds. She wanted to be killing darkspawn – preferably as she imagined Alistair's face in place of it's own.

She wasn't some damn puppet of the Queen's – maybe Alistair was, but she sure as hell wasn't. She was a Grey Warden, she didn't answer to the throne. Turning, she packed quickly, put on her armor and left the room, backpacks in tow.

"Where are you going, My Lady?" asked the guard at the end of the hallway.

"I'm off to begin the job of recruiting Wardens," she told him.

"I'm not to let you leave, My Lady. I'm real sorry, but I have no choice," the guard replied.

"Do you think you're going to stop me?" Sabrina inquired.

"If I have to, my -"

Before the guard could even react Sabrina's blade was against the man's throat. "So you think you can stop the woman that led the fight against the Blight for a year and half?"

The guard smiled sheepishly, "You might have a point."

Sabrina pretended to start to sheath her sword and the guard began to relax. Sabrina spun quickly behind the guard and brought the pommel of her sword down against the side of the man's head. She then dragged the unconscious guard into a dark alcove, "Sorry about that, but I couldn't have you alerting the King and Queen about my departure until I am far from here."

Then she crept from the castle, melding with the shadows until she could slip undetected into the night.

The Arling of Amaranthine was hers. It belonged to the Grey Wardens, and she was going to claim it for them. She wasn't going to lie down and take it, even when a Queen tried to usurp the power of the Wardens.

She had just slipped out the city side gate and into the forest when a hand covered her mouth from behind, and a powerful arm curled around her waist. "Don't scream," a familiar, warm voice said in her ear.

"Alistair, what are you doing here?" she hissed when he let his hand slide away from her mouth.

"I followed you," he said. "I couldn't stay away a minute longer. I wondered when you were going to wake up and get out of there. I was starting to think I was going to have to kidnap you."

His hand slid down the front of her body, and she gasped as it claimed one of her breasts. She turned her head as she wriggled and tried to escape him.

"Why are you fighting me? You know you want this," he told her, his voice husky and hot in her ear.

"You betrayed me!" she snapped.

His hand dipped boldly down into her pants. "I never betrayed you, Sabrina. Never. But your body betrays you even now." His fingers slid into her slit, which was already slick and wet.

"It doesn't matter. Just because I want you, doesn't mean I _**want**_ you!" She exclaimed.

"But you do want me," he told her. His fingers delved deeper into her, flicking across her swollen nub, making her squirm and shiver and arch against them. She gasped as he licked her neck, then bit her—not hard, but with the same sort of dominant aggressiveness she had seen in him a few weeks before.

Liquid gushed from her onto his probing fingers, and he chuckled against her neck. "You like that." It wasn't even a question.

He rolled her onto her back and pulled her tunic abruptly over her head—leaving her bereft of his exploring fingers. In the gloom, she could see him looming over her, and wondered vaguely when he'd grown his goatee into a full one, rather than the usual light scruff he left on his chin.

But the thought flew away as she was divested of her pants in one rough, firm movement. He looked at her with a predatory hunger that scared her, even while it thrilled her. Yes, she definitely liked the new angry Alistair.

He didn't wait. The foreplay was over, and somehow, the act was that much more exciting for the lack of it. It wasn't like she needed it, anyway… she was more ready for this man than she'd ever been for anything in her life. He positioned himself quickly, and shoved into her, leaning forward to look into her face with a hooded, impenetrable expression. He thrust into her again and again, long and slow strokes that made her squirm and wrap around him.

Try as she might, she couldn't get him to go faster. In the simple act of fucking her, he was showing her that she wasn't the boss anymore. He would go at his own pace, take his own pleasure, and her expectations be damned.

It was the sexiest thing she'd ever experienced.

He leaned on one arm, his hips thrusting his cock into her with rhythmic perfection, while his other hand grasped and kneaded a breast. It was a rough touch, lustful and erotic, but it lacked the rage that had consumed him the last time. She would never have thought he could be so… unflinchingly male.

When she quit trying to pull him deeper and began to move to his rhythm, submitting to his control over her, he began to speed up, his hips slapping lewdly against hers in the gloom.

He stopped then, and she groaned in unmet need. He laughed at her—laughed at her!—and then pushed her legs up until he could look down at the place their bodies met. He held her thighs up as he shoved into her again and again.

It was vaguely humiliating, lying there opened up that way while he stared at her and yet it was thrilling, too.

More than that, though, with every rough stroke, he was rubbing against the most sensitive spot in her body. She gasped and squirmed, rapidly approaching the edge of raw pleasure. When she came, it was a powerful, overwhelming, uncontrolled surge. It buried her in its intensity, and he growled at her as she milked him, sending him into his own orgasm. He came in her without hesitation, jerking her against him almost cruelly. It made her orgasm again.

Something had come over him, something had changed him, this was more than just a grudge fuck; whatever it was, it was hotter than an abomination's explosion.

He thrust into her one more time, roughly, firmly, as he declared, "Mine!"

Then he collapsed on top of her, rolling off to pull her against him.

"What are you really doing here?" she asked against his shoulder.

"Don't talk, Sabrina. Just go to sleep. Plenty of time for talk tomorrow," he told her, his voice low in the darkness, his goatee prickling against her forehead.

At her gasp of outrage at being told what to do, he said sleekly, "Don't make me fuck you into silence. I can do it, you know."

And he expected her to go to sleep after that? What the hell was going on? Even when he was angry at her he had never talked to her like that, and he called her Sabrina. He hadn't called her Sabrina since Ostagar.

It was a long, restless night for her, too keenly aware of the man next to her. A new Alistair that she almost didn't even know, but an Alistair she wanted to keep - very much so. But the question nagged her, and so as they broke camp to travel on the next day, she asked him again.

He stopped packing and looked at her. "And where should a Grey Warden be?" he asked, leveling a look at her that seemed to indicate that it was a stupid question. She felt childish and silly suddenly. She never felt like that around him. It wasn't fair. She scowled at him.

"Who am I?" he asked her. When she just blinked stupidly, he asked again, "Who am I, Sabrina?"

"Alistair," she said, something tripping up inside her as she said it.

"And just who is Alistair?"

"What?"

"Who is Alistair? Is he a camp follower? Is that his position in this world?" he drew her against him as he said it, looking down at her and demanding an answer with a tense, almost cold look.

A shiver ran down her spine. "You're the King," she said.

"And do you think the King answers to you?"

She gasped and frowned again. "No, I suppose not," she said as the moment drew out and he didn't release her. "But you're a Grey Warden, and I'm the Commander of the Grey Wardens, so you answer to me because of that," she said. She had him there!

"I'd like to see you try to make me answer to you," he said, shocking her to her core.

He released her then, and finished packing. They walked away from the camp with Sabrina in turmoil. He was behaving oddly. But somehow, it seemed almost as if he was finally the man she thought he could be.

He stopped abruptly, right in the middle of the trail. "If you keep looking at me like that, I'm going to fuck you right here and right now."

She blinked stupidly at him and swallowed hard. He wouldn't dare! Would he? She looked down, disappointed that she couldn't see whether or not he was hard behind the codpiece of his plate armor. And when had he started wearing Dragon Blood armor, anyway?

She blinked again as he started pulling armor off. "Okay, point taken!" she told him. "Sheesh, why so bossy all of a sudden?"

"Take my greaves off," he told her, his voice silk and gravel.

"You can't be serious! Someone could come up on us any second!"

"You'd better hurry it up, then, hadn't you," he said, and she wanted to slap the smirk off of his face. She crossed her arms and scowled.

"Suit yourself," he told her, and pulled them off himself. Now clad only in the tunic and breeches he wore beneath the armor, he grabbed her and turned her around, shoving her against a tree.

"Hey!" she protested, then she tried to pull away as her hardened leather scale breeches were yanked down around her knees.

Then, without warning, he was sliding inside her, plundering her like a pirate. "Oh Maker," she groaned as he stoked the fire already burning in her pussy.

He slapped against her, his hands hard and strong on her hips. The only sound on the trail was the sound of their furious coupling, his body slamming into hers over and over again, her involuntary cries and groans… his grunts as he seemed to try to ride her into the tree itself.

Then he leaned forward over her, thrust into her roughly and growled as he came. The thought of him pumping into her sent her instantly over the edge, and she howled like an animal as her orgasm washed over her.

He slipped out of her, pulling her upright against his chest. "For someone who didn't want to get caught, you sure as hell made a lot of noise," he said. He was being smug again, to her chagrin.

"Something isn't right," she said. "This isn't like you. I've never seen you act like this."

"On the contrary, my dear," he said.

They were redressed, and as he came up to her, she realized that he looked intimidating and even almost frightening in this armor.

"This is exactly like me. And I've always been exactly like this," he told her as he crowded her back against the tree. "And you may not realize it just yet, but I'm exactly what you've always wanted. I can do everything you thought you wanted, and more. I'm your perfect match."

He crushed her lips beneath his, taking, devouring, consuming… yet bringing up confusing and warm feelings inside of her that hadn't been there before. She thought she had loved him—and she still did—but now that love was imbued with a growing passion the likes of which she'd never known.

"Darkspawn!" He warned as he whipped out a powerful axe, and laid into them.

An axe? A two handed axe? What the Darkspawn—

She lost track of the thought as she ducked a wild swing from a Hurlock. Then it was gone as Alistair slashed its head clean off, laughing maniacally. The powerful axe whirled and danced in the air, and even as she slid her dagger into the back of a genlock, she couldn't take her eyes off of him.

When the fight was over, and they stood in the midst of carnage, she turned on him. "That was a Reaver move!" she accused.

"Yeah," he said. "What of it?" He stood inches from her, covered in gore and blood and grinning like an Archdemon.

She shivered. "You're not a Reaver," she said warily.

"Yes," he said, his voice husky and deep again. "I am."

"You're not Alistair," she said, backing away.

"I wondered how long it would take for you to catch on," he said with a grin - a malevolent grin – damn sexy grin.

"You're a demon!"

He laughed. "I've been called worse. But no, I'm not. You'd feel it if I was."

"A maleficar," she said, uncertain.

"No," he said, closer now, as she stood with her back against a tree.

"Then what?" she said, fear rising inside her.

"What do you think?" he asked her, toying with her, playing some game she couldn't quite understand.

"A brother?" she breathed. "Another unknown bastard?"

"I'm his twin," he told her. "Identical twin, in case you hadn't noticed."

Suddenly, it struck her as funny. "Really?"

"Yes, really," he rumbled at her, his hand—covered in blood and gore—pawing at her breast through her gory leather shirt.

"Can I call you Malistair?" she asked, smirking at him.

"Not if you want to live," he growled, and she laughed again.

"Don't laugh at me again," he warned her. "I hate being related to such a milk-sop. Much less being his brother. But I'm going to do something about it. We're… going to do something about it."

Now she was intrigued. "Oh?"

"We're going to replace him. And then, when the time is right, we're going to dispose of Anora."

She stared blankly at him.

"After that, my dear Commander, with you at my side, I am going to rule. First Ferelden…and then the world."

She looked at him like he was crazy. The man had to be certifiably insane. But then he was stripping her and shoving into her, and despite the blood and death all around them, she was simply too fucking horny to care. She wondered, for all of ten seconds, just exactly what she had gotten herself into.

***Special thanks to RandomWittering for all of her wonderful beta magic. **


	2. Chapter 2 Shark in the Water

**This chapter contains adult content and addresses some dark subjects.**  
**Chapter 2**

"Baby there's a shark in the water, there's something underneath my bed  
Oh, please believe, I said  
Baby there's a shark in the water, I caught them barking at the moon  
You better get here soon"

_Shark in the Water by VV Brown_

It was only a few hours before the sun was due to come up when Sabrina slipped out from under…from under…hell she didn't even know his name; she eased herself out from under evil Alistair's arm and sat down beside the fire. She looked over at him resting so peacefully. It was like all the countless times that she had watched Alistair sleep during their travels and sadness settled over her heart. She had lost so much over the past two years and now Alistair added to the list of things that caused her heart to ache. She glanced over at the evil Alistair again. His hair was a little longer and he had that full goatee, but other than that he was identical to his brother…his brother. Alistair had a brother, he had a family and this man was hell bent on destroying him without even knowing him.

His plan was the craziest thing she had ever heard…replace Alistair. Replace the King! What did that mean? Kill him…make him disappear…what? The even crazier part was that he wanted her to help him and then become Queen. She had no desire to be Queen. If that is what she wanted, she would have put Alistair on the throne so that she could rule beside him.

Over the past two days this man had completely blindsided her, but now that she had a few minutes alone to think she needed to get a hold of herself. To be this out of control was so unlike her. She hadn't allowed her hormones to control her like this since she was a teenager when she and Nathaniel Howe would spend their summers together, exploring their new found feelings for each other. However, she was no longer a hormonal teenager driven to act on every little impulse.

When he woke up there were some things that were going to change. For one, she couldn't continue to screw around with a complete stranger. Even if it was the most incredible sex of her life, the only reason she'd had sex with him at all was because she thought it was Alistair.

She stood up, walked over to the fire and began to stoke it so that they could cook breakfast. She felt his muscular arms wrap around her waist as he pressed his arousal into her ass. Sabrina brought her knee up and drove her foot into the top of his. He grunted with pain and lost his balance. She grabbed his wrist and forearm, bent forward and pulled him over her shoulder, so that he landed on the ground in front of her. She immediately pulled her dagger out and pointed it at his throat.

"I believe that you and I need to get a few things straight," Sabrina said as she pulled the blade back and pointed to a log. "Why don't you take a seat?"

The evil Alistair gave her that sexy grin that made her stomach flip. He took a seat across the fire from her. He stared at her and she stared back for a long moment before she spoke, "First, if you ever lay a hand on me again without my consent, my body will be the last thing your hand feels before it's been permanently detached from your body."

He smirked at her, "You didn't seem to mind me touching you before."

"That is because I thought you were Alistair," Sabrina replied.

"So let me get this straight, in your mind it's okay to have the man that betrayed you, who stabbed you in the back and allowed you to go fight an Archdemon by yourself, to fuck you every which but loose, but you're against a complete stranger doing that to you," he replied.

"It's not the same and it's none of your damn business. My reasons are my own," Sabrina retorted.

"And last night, after you found out I wasn't Alistair. What was your excuse then?"

She stared at him as he remembered how incredible his hands felt on her body and how he made her cry out in pleasure over and over again. Her eyes must have given her thoughts away as the same grin spread across his face. "You wanted me as much as I wanted you, even though I wasn't Alistair, because Alistair never fucked you the way that I did."

"That isn't true," she replied defensively as the image of Alistair pressing her up against the wall flashed through her mind. She quickly composed herself. "Again you are talking about things you know nothing about."

"You still want me. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. I'll bet if I slid my fingers inside your pants I would find that you are wet and eager."

She had to control herself to stop from squirming at the thought of his fingers inside her. "I am not some teenage girl that can't control herself because her hormones are out of control. Just because the sex was good…"

"Mon Soleil, don't lie to yourself, that was the best sex of your life."

Sabrina raised an eye brow, "Mon Soleil -my sunshine? I thought I detected a slight Orlesian accent once you dropped the Alistair façade. So what is your name? Or would you prefer I call you the evil Alistair?"

He laughed a full deep laugh that warmed Sabrina from the inside. "Hell no, the last thing I want on your mind is him. So, besides Lover, you can call me Tristen."

She ignored the statement. "Tristen, Tristen what?"

He smiled, "Tristen Theirin of course."

"Yes, well that brings up one of the things that I want to clarify. I don't know what crazy ass plan you have dreamed up to remove Alistair from the throne, but if your intentions are to kill him, then secretly step in to replace him, you will have to go through me to do so," she paused as she stared at the grin on his face. She glared at him and waved her hand, "Don't even say it. Now on the other hand if you want to claim your birthright and make a bid for the throne, by all means go ahead and do that. But it won't be with me by your side. If I had wanted to be Queen I could have been, but I have no desire for such noble titles and constraints."

"It takes someone with a privileged upbringing to make such a statement," Tristen said bitterly. It was the first time his aloof sexy demeanor faltered.

"Where did you grow up?" Sabrina asked sympathetically.

"Orlais as you have already deduced and as you said earlier, my background is none of your damn business" Tristen retorted.

"It's obvious you know nothing of Ferelden politics because if you are going to go after the throne, then your background is most certainly my business, and the business of every other noble in this country. If you don't want your entire history brought to light, then you may want to reconsider wanting the throne," Sabrina replied.

He didn't reply so she continued, "The second thing I want to clear up is that I am the Warden Commander of Ferelden, and while you are in Ferelden, you fall under my command. You will listen to my orders or I will continue to put you flat on your back until you do," Sabrina instructed.

The incredible sexy grin was back as he replied, "I don't have a problem with that as long as you are on top straddling me."

She grinned right back at him, her most seductive smile, "I hope you have a really good memory and a vivid imagination because that will be the only time you will see me straddling you."

"Mon Soleil …"

"Stop calling me that. You don't even know me," Sabrina demanded.

"Mon Soleil, but I do know you. I know you very well. I know you as well as Alistair does, if not better, because I understand you in ways he never will," Tristen said slowly emphasizing every word.

Sabrina laughed coldly, "You're good, but you'll have to do better than that. You want to know what I think?" Tristen nodded. "I believe that you come from some underprivileged background where you grew up envious of those whose station in life was higher than your own. When you found out that you had a twin brother who was a King, all of the anger and resentment from your past boiled to the surface and you decided that you wanted…no you deserved everything Alistair had. I am nothing but a pawn in your sick game to possess everything that once belonged to your brother."

She turned to walk away from him and he grabbed her arm. He pulled her tightly to him. His large calloused hands burned through the thin material of her nightshirt as his hands roamed up and down her back causing an insatiable yearning to course through her body. He gazed into her eyes for a long moment. "You're wrong, Sabrina. I would never use you. Alistair is unworthy of you and doesn't deserve your love or your loyalty," he said softly.

"And you think you do?" Sabrina asked.

"I know I do," he said as his warm breath washed over her face and his lips pressed down against hers forcefully and eagerly. As his tongue swept against her bottom lip seeking entrance, she opened her mouth and he immediately deepened the kiss while he brought his hand up to stroke her hair. His lips ignited a fire deep in her belly that shot fireworks through every one of her nerve endings, turning her legs to jelly. If not for the strong arm still encircling her waist, she would have fallen to the ground. This needed to stop, yet she couldn't bring herself break free from the delicious sensation of his mouth on hers. He was kissing her with the same hunger that he had before, but now there was an underlying emotion that she couldn't put her finger on. It felt like love, the way that Alistair had kissed her, but this man hardly even knew her.

It actually frightened her. She forced herself to pull away and stepped out of his embrace. She straightened out her shirt as she murmured, "Umm, we need to break down camp."

Once they were ready to start out she said, "Are you going with me to Amaranthine or are you going to head back to Denerim so you can overthrow the throne?"

He laughed. "I am here to help you set up the Ferelden Wardens. I am with a contingency from the Orlesian Wardens. They should already be at Vigil's Keep. I was sent to Denerim to escort the lovely Commander back."

"That's fine, but I will be heading to Highever first. I have not been home since my…I have not been home in a while and I need to check on Fergus," she replied stiffly.

"I understand."

They spent most of the day walking in silence which was perfectly fine with Sabrina. She had a lot on her mind and really wasn't up for idle chitchat. Her mind kept drifting back to her curiosity for this man, but she knew not to ask. He made it clear that his past wasn't open for discussion, but eventually he would have to talk about it if he really did have plans to challenge Alistair for the throne.

She thought about the way he had held her earlier and how possessive he'd become of her with regards to Alistair. Then there was that undertone of emotion in his kiss. She knew what it felt like to have a man kiss you when they were in love with you, and she had felt it again this morning. She hadn't sensed it before, but maybe that was because it had been so heated between them. This morning had still been passionate and damn if the man didn't know just how to make her toes curl. There had also been tenderness present, something she hadn't realized just how much she had missed until that moment. She glanced over at him and he had a smirk on his face. "I take it your thoughts are keeping you entertained."

"Oh, they always do," he replied.

"And what is so amusing now?"

"I was just thinking about the kiss that we shared back at camp. I don't recall you giving me your consent, but somehow my hands are still attached to my body," he mused as he held up his hands and waved them at her.

She rolled her eyes and snorted, "It's a mistake that can easily be remedied."

He smiled at her, "It would be fun to watch you try."

"Oh, I think you would be doing more than watching. And is sex the only thing you ever think about?"

"I'm a guy sooo, yeah just about. What were you thinking about?"

Her brow furrowed and she felt the blood begin to rise on her cheeks, "Stuff…lots of stuff t-that doesn't have anything to do with sex."

He laughed, "Oh really, then why is your face all red?"

"I-it's from the physical exertion of walking up this hill," she stuttered like a babbling idiot.

He grinned at her, "No, it's not. You were thinking of us and that very heated moment we had this morning."

"Yes, I was thinking I can't let my guard down around you," she stated matter-of-factly.

"So you're that worried about caving into your deep-seated desire for me, are you?"

"No, I have no problem controlling myself. It's you that I have to worry about," she countered.

He grabbed her arm to stop her and stepped close to her. He looked deeply into her eyes. She felt her stomach flip and heard her breath hitch. "Sabrina, you never have to worry about me. I promise I will never bring you harm, and I will never allow any harm to come to you."

She scrutinized him before she spoke. "You barely even know me. Why would you make such a declaration?"

She watched his face as conflict raged beneath the surface. He dropped his hand from her arm and stepped back. "Your right I don't know you, but I know of you. From all accounts you are a strong, passionate leader who has a warm and compassionate heart. Against all odds, you were able to gather an army to aid in the fight against the Blight, and when the one person that you had come to trust with your life deserted you, you still found the courage and bravery to face the Archdemon with a man who was considered an enemy. That is someone that I would be honored to serve under."

She searched his face and she could tell there was something he wasn't saying, but she didn't feel now was the time press the issue. She nodded as if accepting his explanation, but then asked sarcastically, "Have you been rehearsing that speech long?"

He looked surprised at her frankness and hesitated in his reply. She impatiently waved her hand. "Never mind, it's getting late and we should find a place to make camp."

He nodded as the two of them began to search for a place to set up for the night.

**xxXxx**

"What do you mean she has gone?" Alistair bellowed at the Captain of the Guard.

"I'm sorry, your Majesty. She incapacitated the guard outside her room and escaped undetected. The guard was unconscious for several hours before he woke and was able to make a report. Unfortunately, I was out on patrol with several units and did not find out about the incident until morning."

"She has been gone for two days. Why is it that I'm being informed of this just now?"

"As soon as I found out what happened, I sent a message to your adviser asking for an immediate audience with you. He informed me that today was the earliest he could squeeze me in to see you."

Eamon had been extremely busy preparing for the Ambassador of Orlais' visit, but even so, if he had known that this regarded Sabrina, he should have found the time.

"Did Chancellor Eamon know the nature of the request?"

"Yes, Sire. My note stated that it had to do with the unforeseen departure of Commander Cousland," the Captain replied.

Alistair drew in a deep breath and pressed his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose. Eamon had been begging him for weeks to release her and to allow her to go and perform her duty for the Grey Wardens. So when the message had come, Alistair could only assume Eamon had seen this as an opportunity to force him to let her go, give her enough time to put plenty of distance between her and Denerim before the King was informed. "Thank you, Captain. That will be all."

The Captain bowed and quickly exited the room.

Alistair walked over to the bar in his study and poured a brandy. He knew that she was gone before he even had the confirmation. Being the only two Wardens in all of Ferelden he could sense her taint within the Palace. And even though a part of him hated her, another part of him took comfort in knowing that she was close by; knowing that he wasn't completely alone with all of these vultures surrounding him.

When he had woken up two days ago and felt nothing when he reached out to sense her taint, he had quickly gone to her rooms and discovered that all of her things were gone…except for a tiny rose that had been pressed into a piece of wax paper that she had left sitting at her desk. The pain that had torn through him then upon that discovery once again slashed at his heart.

"Arrrgh," he screamed as he threw the brandy snifter against the wall shattering it into pieces. He squeezed his eyes shut, forcing his tears into submission. He had sworn to himself after the incident in the library that he would not shed another tear over her. That night had been the most painful night of his life; even worse than when she had conscripted Loghain.

He loved her while at the same time he hated her, and that night in the library he had wanted her to feel his pain, his agony. In the process had lost the essence of who he was and became a monster. The things that he had done to her, the way he had treated her was inexcusable and she had allowed him to use her, as if she were trying to help him come to terms with the rage and loathing he felt for her.

Now when he thought about that night it made him physically ill, but it was her eyes that would forever be burned into his memory. She had stood before him, her clothes ripped and hanging on her tiny frame in tatters, her body bruised, scratched and bitten. When he had looked into her eyes, they looked as broken and shattered as the clothes that she wore. He was to blame for that look and it broke him. He had quickly fled to the confines of his chambers and wept as he grieved for all that he had lost.

Ever since that night he ached to tell her how sorry he was and to beg for her forgiveness, but every time he started for her rooms he feared looking into her eyes, seeing that vacant, broken stare and it halted him in his tracks.

Alistair entered his bed chamber from a door in his study. He swiftly undressed and climbed into bed. Sleep would be a welcome relief from these agonizing memories.

_Once again, he had her pinned against the library wall as he vigorously ripped the dress down the front exposing her supple breasts to him. He roughly took her nipple in his mouth as he sucked and bit at her. He heard her moan and the thrill that her pleasure sent through him drove him to the brink as he ground into her. He needed to be in her, to plunge into her deep moist center. Alistair undid the laces of his trousers, hiked her dress up, tearing off her small clothes and surged deep inside her. He felt her legs immediately wrap around his waist as she drew him in deeper. He groaned as he slammed into her and drove her with force against the wall. He heard the air rush out of her lungs. _

'_That's it, take it. Take all of me,' Alistair thought. 'I know you want me to fuck you like a whore.' _

_He felt her nails raking across his back and he cried out with a mixture of both pain and pleasure. He drove into her deeper and harder and he bit down hard on her neck. _

'_Am I hurting you?' He thought. 'Can you feel the anguish you have caused me?'_

_He knew that he was being violent and brutal, but she clung to him and took all that he gave her. Her arms clutched at his shoulders as she cried out his name, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. She was crying for him, for herself and for them. _

_Fuck, he desperately wanted, he wanted her back in his life again, he wanted her by his side and at the same time he wanted to hurt her. He wanted her to feel a tenth of the pain that he felt. Alistair continued to slam into her as his hand reached up and wrapped around her slender neck. He lightly applied pressure and he could feel her pulse under his thumb. His body sustained the frenzied thrusting deep inside her as he felt her body tense, her climax drawing near. She moaned and he felt a thrill as her throat vibrated in his hand and as she began to shudder, her orgasm breaking, he began to squeeze tightly around her slim neck. He watched as her eyes sprang open with surprise and he felt her hands grasp at his. Her mouth opened as she sighed, "Alistair, no."_

A scream tore from Alistair's throat waking him. He was covered in sweat and his body shook violently. The memory of the nightmare came flooding back. He could still practically feel her soft velvety throat beneath his hand as he applied pressure and he could hear her crying out his name. What in the Maker's name was happening to him. He needed to see her. He needed to beg her forgiveness. Her absolution was going to be the only thing that saved his mind and his soul.

_Tristen stood in the corner of the dark library as he watched Alistair grotesquely defile the woman that he claimed to love, and worse, she was allowing it. She didn't stop him. Why? She was strong enough to resist him and Tristen knew Alistair well enough to know that if she had put up any type of struggle, he would have stopped. He may be a lot of things, but a rapist wasn't one of them. So why did she allow him to humiliate her in such away? Did she believe on some level that she deserved this for conscripting Loghain? She had to know it was the right choice. _

_Tristen watched as her climax drew near and he wished he was the one causing her to moan and it was his name falling from her lips. He observed as Alistair repeatedly thrust into her and watched as his hand began to tightly squeeze Sabrina's throat. He ran toward them screaming…NOOOO! But it was as if he was running in quicksand. He wasn't going to be able to reach her in time before Alistair choked the life out of her. _

Tristen shook violently and sat up. He immediately looked across fire and saw Sabrina peaceful and sound asleep. He breathed a sigh of relief. She was fine…for now. She was alive.

***Special thanks to RandomWittering for her beta****liciousness****. **


	3. Chapter 3 Wonderful

**This chapter has adult content. You have been warned! **

**Chapter 3**

"God, it makes me be so blue, every time I think about you  
All of the heat of my desire smokin' like some crazy fire  
Come on here, look at me where I stand, can't you see my heart burnin' in my hands?  
Do you want me? Do you not? Does it feel cold baby? Does it feel hot?"

_Wonderful by Annie Lennox_

Tristen shook off the remnants of the nightmare, got up and grabbed some wood to add to the fire. Once the flames were blazing he walked over to where Sabrina was sleeping and sat down beside her. He gently brushed her long dark tresses back so that he could look at her beautiful face and he was happy for now that she was safe here with him.

For as long as he could remember he had shared dreams with Alistair. He had been told at a very young age that he had a twin brother and because of that knowledge he always knew when he was in one of Alistair's dreams. Alistair, on the other hand, when he entered Tristen's, probably thought it was just one of those weird dreams where you are viewing yourself in third person.

Their mother had explained to him that some twins held a special connection with each other even over great distances. Both Alistair and Tristen had been born with the Taint in their blood; their mother's pregnancy had acted like a type of joining. The Taint was present, but until the two of them had gone through the actual magic ritual of the joining, the taint hadn't become active. Their mother speculated that because they were tainted twins that their connection was even stronger.

It was through these dreams that Tristen knew of Alistair's rough upbringing and when he told their mother that Alistair had been sent to the Chantry, she broke down and wept. To help console her, Duncan said that he would go to Ferelden and watch over her son. Duncan had been in Tristen's life since he was a small child and like Alistair, Tristen had thought of him as a father.

It was also through Alistair's dreams that they learned what had truly happened at Ostagar and that Duncan had died. Tristen had felt the loss as deeply as Alistair and wanted revenge just as much. He understood Alistair's anger when Sabrina had conscripted Loghain, but maybe because he had been raised around Warden's all his life he knew that she had made the right decision. No matter what the cost, Grey Wardens must stop the Blight. Alistair had allowed his need for revenge to consume him and when he was denied that act by the woman he loved and trusted, Tristen felt something break in Alistair.

Now a battle was waging inside his brother and a darkness was starting to take over. If Tristen could help Alistair he would, but his first priority was to save Sabrina because Alistair's rage was focused on her. She needed to be far away from him because if Alistair was unable to control the monster that was growing inside him, he would eventually seek out Sabrina to destroy her.

Tristen gently stroked Sabrina's cheek and she murmured in her sleep. It felt amazing to be this close to her, to actually touch her, to smell her, to taste her. When Alistair had met Sabrina, she had saturated his brother's subconscious mind. He dreamt of her every night for eighteen months. Alistair dreamt about her kindness, her compassion, and her wit. Even though she was a lethal weapon on the battlefield, his fear of losing her had began to creep into his dreams.

He dreamed of their secret intimate moments that they spent together and as Alistair fell in love with her so did Tristen. Tristen was there when Alistair dreamed of his first time with Sabrina, and he knew this wasn't just some normal guy wet dream. No, it was no longer Alistair's imagination filling in how Sabrina would look and behave while engaged in the act of making love. This dream was pulled from real memories. Tristen knew from previous dreams that Sabrina was no virgin when she finally welcomed Alistair into her bed, and Tristen was completely mesmerized with how at ease she was her sexuality. She had a confidence about her that most women lacked. She was aggressive, but not overly so. She liked to take control, but as Alistair became more experienced she became extremely aroused when he was the aggressor. Her sexual prowess was such an incredible turn on that he lost count of the number of times he woke up and needed to change his sheets.

From the dream that Alistair had of his first time, Sabrina had completely taken control. Knowing that Alistair was a virgin she had quickly undressed him and had him climaxing in her mouth within minutes. Then she spent the next several hours taking Alistair to new heights of pleasure that he hadn't even dreamed possible, and she taught him how to please a woman…how to pleasure her and Tristen took careful notes. He had wished that his first time had been as educational as his brother's and the idiot probably still didn't realize what a gift had been handed to him.

Tristen knew that the whole dream sharing thing was very voyeuristic and on some level a little creepy, but it wasn't like he could control his dreams. He had tried and always failed. Hell, Alistair did the same thing to him; he just didn't know that wasn't his own dream. There were times when he would go months without being in one of Alistair's dreams and then there were times when he would share them every night for months. When he was younger the long periods without the dream sharing was nice, because at times Alistair's life was hard to watch. When those periods happened once Sabrina had come into his life, it was agonizing.

Even if Alistair's mind hadn't begun to slip into a dark abyss, Tristen would have sought her out, because he had to know if he truly loved her or if his feelings were just projections from his brother's dreams. After that first night with her, he knew beyond a doubt that she was the embodiment of everything he had ever wanted, and everything he ever needed – she was his perfect match and he knew that he was hers.

If Alistair had stayed on as a Grey Warden he would have made her happy – their lives may have lacked some of the passion and spark that keeps a relationship strong, but Alistair loved her and hopelessly devoted to her, he would have made it work.

As King, however, even if he could quench the monster that was rising up within him, Alistair would only bring misery to Sabrina's life, because of the choice he had made to leave her. What Alistair didn't understand, but somehow Tristen did, is that Sabrina had lost too much over the past couple of years and for him to choose to walk away from her, after a vow to never leave her side, would be something that she would be incapable of forgiving. Oh, she may try to forgive him, but deep down he knew it would always be there – the trust, gone forever.

He stroked her hair gently and thought about their first two days together and how incredibly hot and unrestrained the sex between the two of them had been. Tristen was a no holds barred kind of guy when it came to those types of escapades - slow and sensual, rough and forceful he wasn't picky -he liked it all. Hell, with enough rum he would even be willing to dress up as a pirate, tie up his wench with some rope and give her the ole' iron rod special. Tristen smiled to himself as he imagined Sabrina dressed as a wench and him as a pirate. Hmm, he wondered if she would be up for little role playing.

It was from Alistair's dreams Tristen knew, what with everything that had transpired between the two of them recently, that Sabrina would have immediately been suspicious if he played the sweet sensitive Alistair. He needed her to believe that he was Alistair until he had her far from Denerim. If he was truthful with himself he would have preferred their first time together to be locked in a room where he could spend hours exploring every inch of her body with his hands, his lips and his tongue. He had wanted his first time with her to be almost painfully slow as he made her come over and over again, drinking from her chalice until she was completely tapped out.

Tristen felt her stir beside him, her eyes fluttered open and her sparkling green eyes gazed up at him. A half smile crept across her face, "It can't be morning, yet?"

"No, dawn is several hours away. I had trouble sleeping and thought I would keep watch," he replied.

Sabrina yawned, stretched and then sat up. "Why don't you get some sleep and I will keep watch for a while?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, you need your rest. We have a long day tomorrow," she replied.

He nodded and went to his bed roll. He watched her through the flames until he drifted off to sleep.

They had been on the road now for almost a week when they came across their first battlefield. The clearing was covered with at least two dozen darkspawn corpses. They both drew their weapons, Tristen flanking her left side as they eased onto the battlefield. After making sure all of the creatures were dead they began to examine the bodies and scene more closely.

"Doesn't it look like they were fighting each other?' Sabrina asked.

"Yeah, I'm getting that impression. But why?" Tristen asked.

Sabrina shrugged her shoulders as she surveyed the gore-soaked field. "The Blight ended over two months ago. Why haven't they retreated underground?"

"That's a damn good question and I really wish I had an answer, this whole scene makes me uneasy," Tristen replied.

"I agree. Let's gather up the bodies and burn them so that we can make camp far away from here," Sabrina said.

Tristen nodded and they quickly went to work. It took them several hours and by the time they were done both of them were covered in sweat and darkspawn blood. Leaving the remains burning, they swiftly left the area and once they were far from the bloody field, began to search for an area to set up camp.

They came to a clearing several miles away that had a small lake they could bathe in. After their tents were set-up, Tristen told Sabrina to head down to the water to get cleaned up while he gathered wood and started the fire. Sabrina was covered head to toe in blood and gore and gave him little resistance.

Once he had gathered enough wood for the night and started the fire, he gathered a set of clean clothes and headed for the pond. He had just entered the clearing when saw that Sabrina was still in the water, floating on her back, humming to herself and completely, breathtakingly naked. He stood there for a moment utterly captivated by her magnificent body. Oh he had seen her naked in dreams, and those first few days together had been so heated he had not taken the time to truly appreciate the splendor of her body. She stroked her arms gently backwards as she moved around the lake and her perky, taut breasts bobbed up and down in the water. Maker he wanted to take her in his mouth and feast on her delectable body.

He quickly undressed and slipped into the water. He quietly swam up to her and scooped her up so that she was cradled in his arms. She yelped from surprise as he pulled her out the water and to his chest.

"I don't recall giving you my consent to touch me," she exclaimed.

"My Lady, no man with eyes could resist the urge to take you when your tantalizing body is on display like that," Tristen murmured in her ear as one arm released her legs and he drew her against him. The feel of soft breast and hard nipples pressed against his chest, sending an electric charge through him and his already hard erection grew even stiffer.

She pressed her hand against his chest and sighed, "Tristen…" He wasn't about to let her finish that sentence. He had respected her wishes and hadn't touched her once during the past week, but by the Maker he would have her tonight. He needed her tonight, to help clear out the disturbed dreams that Alistair had been having.

His mouth covered hers as his tongue caressed her lips seeking entrance, slowly, yet hesitantly her mouth opened and his surged forward as his need to taste her, devour her, grew stronger. His hand slipped down her back to her perfectly round and firm buttocks. Maker, her soft supple skin felt wonderful. His other hand cupped her breast as his thumb and forefinger pinched and pulled at the hard nipple. He felt her body begin to react so he seized the taut nub with his mouth, drawing on it until he heard her cry out, but he could tell she was holding back, resisting him.

His lips left her breasts and he kissed his way up her neck to her ear. "Brin, give in to me. I know you want me as much as I want you," he whispered as he pressed his hard member against her thigh and he heard her sigh.

"I do want you, Tristen. I just don't know if this is a good idea," Sabrina murmured.

"I won't make you do anything you don't want to do, but I can feel your body wanting this as much as I do," Tristen whispered again as he gave teasing little bites to her earlobe, feeling her body lean into him.

"Don't fight it, Brin. Just give into it, give into me, baby," he moaned just before his lips found her mouth and he once again lost himself in the sweetness of her lips. He wrapped his arm around her waist pulled her hips against his throbbing member as he tried to relieve some of the pressure. With his other hand he cupped the back of her neck as his tongue caressed and stroked her mouth, compelling her to give back to him the carnal need that he was giving her. He heard her whispered moan of surrender as he felt her arms slip around his neck and her slender fingers slid into his hair. She welcomed his tongue and willingly gave him hers as she deepened the kiss conveying her need, her desire for him.

She wanted him, not because she thought he was Alistair and not because he had her on an emotional and sexual tightrope. She wanted him…for him and that thought alone nearly drove him out of his mind. He backed her up to the shore of the lake. He sat at the edge of the water so that the water lapped at his feet and he pulled her down in between his legs with her back to him. He pulled her against him. He wanted her to feel his thick, hard arousal pressed against her back.

He kissed the nape of her neck, her shoulders, as his hands slid up the curve of her hips to cup her breasts. The soft weight of them filled his palms as his thumbs stroked her taut nipples.

"Oh, Brin, I have wanted you for so long," he moaned as he pressed against her bottom. With one hand still caressing her breasts, his other hand slipped in between her legs and through her wet folds. Her hips pushed against his hand begging him for release. His fingers slowly, teasingly traced the swollen nub. She pushed into him as she sought to increase the pressure but he refused to give in, until he was ready to. He pulled her further up towards him and half across his thighs, cradling her back with his left arm. Her long locks flowed to the ground as he turned her slightly, so his erection was now pressing into her behind and his mouth could reach her delicious breasts. He drew them into his mouth sucking vigorously while his hips thrust against her bottom. She cried out at the pull of his mouth and her fingers entangled in his hair, clutching at him while he devoured her breasts, his fingers sliding in and out of her while his thumb rubbed against her swollen center. Every pull of his lips, every caress of his hand brought cries of ecstasy as she writhed against his touch and as the wave of pleasure broke, she cried out his name, trembling against him.

When the aftershocks had subsided she turned to face him. She pushed him to the ground and slid up to straddle him. He held still as she took his face in her hands and caressed his cheek and jaw with her fingertips. She leaned over him, her mouth mere inches from his, "Tristen, I want _**you**_," she whispered as the warmth of her breath brushed across lips.

That was music to his ears. He felt his body tremble and he stifled a moan of pleasure as her lips grazed his lips, his cheek, his ear.

"Tristen," she whispered, as she pressed her pelvis hard against his erection and her lips danced down his neck to his chest. Her teeth lightly grazed his nipple before her lips closed over it and drew it taut. He groaned while his hands caressed her back and bottom. Her lips followed the path down his stomach while her hand reached for him and wrapped her warm velvety hand around him. His head fell back as her hot and firm fingers slid over him and as she stroked him, a fire coursed through him. He was so lost in the sensation of her touch that he hadn't even realized she had moved between his legs, until he felt the moist warmth of her mouth. He looked down just in time to watch her tongue curl around the tip of his erection before she took him completely into her mouth. Captivated he watched her take in the length of him and jerked suddenly as her tongue swirled around him.

"Brin," he murmured. "By the Maker, Brin."

His eyes never left her as she gripped him with her beautiful lips, basking in the heat of her mouth as he struggled to remain in control as the rhythm of her strokes increased. Oh Maker, she felt incredible. His body ached from the heat of her touch and he let out a groan as she looked up at him, her mouth enfolded tightly around him. She laced her tongue around him again and it took every ounce of strength not to release into her. He gently rested his hand on her head, "Mon Soleil, you're trying to kill me."

She acted like she hadn't heard him and she continued to tease him till he was on the brink of an orgasm, then her mouth would relax long enough for him to calm down before she would do it again. She would pull at him, suck at him until he was begging for release. His hands fisted in her hair as his hips grew more urgent, moving helplessly in time with her mouth. She took him deep until he was so enraptured with pleasure he couldn't think straight.

"Oh fuck, Brin finish it or let me have you," he cried out.

Her soft taunting laughter sent him even closer to the edge, but she complied as her mouth released him. He was so hard that by the time she actually straddled him, he thought he might shatter. The moment he entered her, fire burned through him and his vision actually blurred as her heat enfolded him, her muscles contracting around him. She began to move slowly against him and as she glided back and forth she gripped him with each stroke, causing him to shudder with pleasure. It was such sweet torture, but his body was now demanding release. He grasped her hips and began to move her faster and harder against him. His hips thrusting up against her, driving deeper. She cried out as she arched her back and her beautiful breasts swayed with each movement.

Tristen watched as each stroke brought her closer to edge. He reached down between them and caressed her hot center. She cried out his name as her climax hit her hard and she took him over the edge with her, her muscles clamping around him, dragging every last drop out of him. She collapsed against his chest as she tried to control her breathing.

Once she could speak she declared, "I'm starving."

"Well, it's a good thing that I have a fire going," Tristen said as she slid off of him. He watched her as she gracefully started to dry herself off. He admired all of her toned muscles, the curve of her hips, and the swell of her beautiful breasts.

She looked over and caught him watching her. "Are you enjoying the show?"

"Well, actually if you could shake your ass a little, maybe touch yourself, it would be a much better show. I might even tip you."

She raised an eyebrow, and then spun around giving him a view of her bare back and luscious bottom. Then slowly and very provocatively, her hips began to sway back and forth as her hands caressed her hips and behind. She turned toward him with her hips still swaying and she ran her hands over her breasts, down her stomach and between her legs. Tristen felt his jaw drop. He went to reach for her, but she jumped back.

She smiled at him and waved a finger in his face, "It's a show. You can look, but you cannot touch."

His eyes grew wide with desire, "The hell I can't." And jumping to his feet, he lunged for her. She screamed and started to run from him, but he wasn't far behind. He grabbed her from behind, spun her around and pushed her against the nearest tree. His lips immediately claimed hers as his hand traveled down the same path her own hand had traveled, then pushed his fingers inside her. She was so wet and warm and he was instantly hard. He quickly removed his hand and thrust into her. Damn she felt incredible.

"Oh Maker, Tristen," she moaned. He didn't think it was possible but the sound of his name falling from her lips made him grow even harder, as he thrust into her again and again. Maker he loved this woman. She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, bringing him even deeper. He felt her muscles tighten around him and she moaned his name again.

"Fuck, Brin, you're driving me crazy," he groaned into her throat. He gripped her hips, slamming himself into her as he rubbed against her sweet nub. He felt her body quickly responding to his and she cried out his name as her orgasm violently shook her. Her muscles clamped around him sending shockwave after shockwave of pleasure through him with each thrust. He growled into her throat as came deep inside her, sending fierce tremors throughout his body. Panting heavily he rested his head in the crook of her neck while he tried to catch his breath. He felt her fingers slide up the back of his neck and intertwine in his hair.

He looked up at her and saw her eyes sparkling as she looked at him. She smiled, "Did I earn my tip?"

He laughed, "Most definitely."

They finally made it back to camp and prepared dinner. They talked late into the night until exhaustion overtook her and she fell asleep on his chest. He listened to the sounds of her rhythmic breathing. Tonight was the best night of his life. He had just made love to the woman of his dreams…literally the woman from his dreams, and now he was falling asleep with her in his arms. He felt himself drifting off to sleep and the last thing he remembered thinking was if Alistair fucked this night up with one of his psycho dreams, he would personally have to kill him.

He woke the next morning to the smell of breakfast cooking. He saw Sabrina by the fire, completely dressed in her armor. He looked around and saw that both tents were down and packed. "What time is it?" He mumbled.

"The sun has been up for a couple of hours now," Sabrina said.

"Brin, why didn't you wake me? I would have helped."

"You obviously needed the rest. I think you overexerted yourself last night," she said with a grin as she handed him a cup of tea and a plate. He patted the ground beside him inviting her to sit. She hesitated. He gave her the grin that he knew made her weak and said, "Come on sit beside me. I promise I won't bite…at least not until after I've had my breakfast."

She hesitated again and his stomach clenched at her reluctance. She grabbed her cup of tea and sat beside him. "What's the matter, Sabrina?" He asked coolly.

She looked at him and then back down at her tea, "About last night…"

"Aaah damn, that's never a good way to start a conversation, please don't tell me you are regretting it?"

She smiled over at him and shook her head, "No, last night was great."

"Just great, not the best sex of your life," he questioned.

She laughed, "It was definitely up there. You made the top five."

"And where on that top five list do I fall?"

She grinned at him, "Let's just say that there is room for improvement."

He acted like he had taken a dagger to the heart. "Ouch!"

"If it's any consolation you are sitting solidly in the number four and number five spot," she said.

"Huh, well that's not too bad for only meeting you two weeks ago. So what does it take to slide into the top three?"

She smiled sadly and it made his heart ache to see the pain that flickered across her face. "That is what I wanted to talk to you about…"

"You wanted to talk to me about moving into the top three, I believe that it is going to take more than talk for me to move into those places of distinction." He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his lap. "As a man of action, I do believe I need to show…"

She placed her fingers on his lips asking him to be quiet. He looked into her eyes and he saw grief and pain. "Tristen, I can feel that there is a connection between us. I don't know what that connection is or where it may take us, but before I can explore that with you, I need to come to terms with my feelings for Alistair, and make sure I am not projecting those feeling on to you. I can't do that if I am sleeping with you."

"Great, so we can continue to have awesome sex together, but no longer sleep together. I think I can live with that compromise," he said lightheartedly.

She smiled at him, leaned in to cup his face with her hands and kissed him. "I want this to work….I…I don't know why, but I think this could be really great. And I don't want to screw it up, but right now I am a little screwed up, and I have to work through that if I am going to be any good for you."

He ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her to him. He pressed his lips gently to Sabrina's and then rested his forehead against hers. "If you need time then I will give you all the time you need. If all you can offer me right now is your friendship, then I will gladly take it. When you are ready to move forward, I will be here waiting for you."

She leaned in kissed him one last time, "Thank you." And he held her tightly for a very long time before he released her, not knowing if he would ever have her back in his arms again.

***Author's notes - A huge thank you to RandomWittering for her beta magic. You rock!**


	4. Chapter 4 Home Sweet Home

**Chapter 4**

"Take me to your heart, feel me in your bones, just one more night  
And I'm comin' off this, long and winding road  
I'm on my way, I'm on my way, home sweet home, tonight tonight  
I'm on my way, I'm on my way, home sweet home

My heart's like an open book, for the whole world to read  
Sometime, nothing keeps me together, at the seams  
I'm on my way, I'm on my way, home sweet home, tonight tonight  
I'm on my way, just set me free, home sweet home

_Home Sweet Home by Motley Crew_

It took them another five days before they entered the gates of Highever Castle. Sabrina looked over at Tristen to make sure he still had the hood of his travel cloak pulled up. When they had traveled through Highever Village she had asked him to keep it up until she had introduced him to Fergus. She didn't want to start any rumors in the Village that the King was visiting. That would be all she needed right now.

The past five days on the road for the most part had been uneventful. Tristen had been true to his word and had not overstepped the boundaries of friendship. Oh, he still made his off handed remarks and sexual overtures, but she was used to that after traveling with Zevran for over a year. He asked her a lot of questions about her home and her upbringing in Highever. It surprised her that he never asked about her travels during the Blight. That was always the first thing that people asked about. He was more interested in who she was before she met Alistair. When she had told him about the massacre he had been very sympathetic and for the first time in over a year, she had given in to tears, reliving the memory had brought on an unexpected wave of grief. He had just held her and let her cry herself to sleep. She woke up in the middle of the night still enfolded in his arms, she should have moved to her own bedroll, but the feeling of his muscular arms made her feel secure and safe. She hadn't felt that since before the Landsmeet when she would fall asleep in Alistair's arms. She had cuddled up to him, resting her head in the crook of his neck and fallen asleep again, breathing in his cool, crisp scent. When she woke up the next morning she felt completely rested. That had been the best nights sleep she'd had in a long while.

The next night she wanted to fall asleep in his arms again, but she knew that wouldn't be a wise decision, especially since she was the one that had asked to slow things down. She did however move her bedroll closer to his. When they went to sleep that night their heads were only inches apart. She just liked knowing he was close by. When she woke up the next morning her arm was stretched past her head toward Tristen and she was pleasantly surprised and pleased to feel Tristen's fingers intertwined with hers. Every night after that they had fallen asleep with their fingers laced together.

As she made her way into the courtyard one of the guards, rushed up to them, "My Lady, it is so good to see you."

Sabrina smiled, "It's good to see you too Will. You have grown up so much, I hardly recognized you. So you are following in your father's footsteps and becoming a Highever Knight?"

"Yes, my Lady, I hope to be as honorable a knight as my Father was," Will replied.

Sabrina smiled broadly, "Oh Will, I am sure you will bring much honor to your Father's memory."

"Thank you, my Lady," Will said.

"Is the Teyrn in?" Sabrina asked.

"Yes, he was in the practice ring a…"

"Did I hear a rumor that my baby sister was here?" Fergus bellowed as he swiftly approached them.

Sabrina whirled around and raced into her brother's arms. Fergus grabbed and pulled her into a tight bear hug. He kissed the side of her cheek, "It's good to see you, Bean. I know it's only been a month since I left Denerim, but…" his voice trailed off.

Sabrina touched the side of her brother's face, "I know, that is why I am here."

Fergus hugged her again and then released her. Sabrina took her brother by the arm and led him over to her hooded traveling companion. "Fergus, I would like you to meet my fellow Grey Warden from Orlais, Tristen."

Tristen removed his hood. Sabrina heard Fergus gasp, then her brother bowed, "Your Majesty, what an unexpected, but pleasant surprise."

Sabrina looked at Tristen and he looked utterly surprised and very uncomfortable.

"Fergus, this isn't Alistair," Sabrina said.

"What? Of course he…"

"No, he it isn't. Let's go inside to your study where we can have some privacy and I will explain everything," Sabrina said as she looked around the courtyard. She motioned for Tristen to put his hood up which he quickly did.

"Yes, that would probably be best and I do believe a very large glass of brandy needs to accompany this conversation," Fergus replied still flabbergasted.

They made their way into the main hall and Fergus motioned for several servants to take their bags and asked them to prepare Sabrina's room and a guest room. One of the servants gestured for Tristen's cloak, but Fergus waved them off. "Umm, that won't be necessary; our guest is still chilled from his travels." The servant nodded and left the room as Fergus led them toward his study.

Sabrina grabbed Tristen by the arm and whispered, "I hope you have your story straight because you're about to head into the inquisition."

Completely at ease Tristen just nodded and followed Fergus into the study. Fergus went over and poured three very large glasses of brandy. Tristen removed the hood just as Fergus handed him the glass. Again she heard Fergus gasp slightly, "The resemblance is remarkable…you have to be Alistair's brother."

Tristen nodded, "Yes, we are twins."

Fergus took a large gulp of brandy, "Twins, that's incredible. I have never heard even a hushed rumor of twins."

"But you heard rumors about Alistair," Sabrina asked.

"Well, not Alistair per say, but that Maric had a bastard son, yes. It was always said in hushed tones and behind closed doors, but yes there were rumors of Alistair's existence," Fergus said.

"And what did these rumor say happened to the child," Sabrina asked.

"Well, some said that he was taken in by a nobleman and raised as his own child, some said the child was given to the Chantry and some said the child was taken to Orlais." Even as he said it, it dawned on Fergus and he looked up at Tristen, "Didn't Sabrina said you are from Orlais?"

Tristen nodded.

"By Andraste's arse, why can't the royals learn to keep their dicks in their trousers?" Fergus asked as he took another swig of brandy.

Tristen chuckled, "If we had a copper for every royal bastard running around Thedas we would all be living like kings."

"Bloody hell, isn't that the damn truth," Fergus laughed as he poured each of them another glass of brandy. "So what exactly are your plans, Tristen."

Before Tristen could reply, Sabrina chimed in, "Oh he wants to over throw the crown, set himself up as King and make me his Queen."

Fergus had just taken a sip of brandy and started to choke. "W-what?"

"Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration," Tristen retorted.

"Oh really? Because I distinctly remember you saying, and I quote, 'with you at my side, I am going to rule, first Ferelden…and then the world'," Sabrina countered giving him a very amused look.

"Well, those are ambitious goals even for a Theirin," Fergus chortled.

"Well, I was just making small talk trying to impress a pretty girl," Tristen said.

Fergus grinned as he looked at Tristen, then Sabrina, "And how did that work out for you?"

Tristen grinned that sexy smile of his and winked at Sabrina, "Well, it's a little too soon to tell. I'll have to get back to you on that."

Fergus let out boisterous laugh, "Yes, Bean always was one that was hard to impress. Half the noble's sons in Ferelden have tried and royally failed. I remember this one fellow….Bann Lorne's son….what was his name?" Fergus said as he snapped his fingers.

Sabrina felt her face turn red as she stood up, "Well, I think it's time to go get cleaned up for dinner."

Tristen grinned at her and looked at Fergus, "Oooo, this has got to be good."

"Sit down Bean, it isn't your fault that he will be forever known as Ser Happy Golden Showers."

Now it was Tristen's turn to choke, "You're kidding, right?"

Sabrina grabbed the brandy and poured another glass before she sat down, "Oh Maker, please let me die now."

"Well, it was Bean's sixteenth birthday and half of Ferelden's nobility were invited to her Debut Party. Bean was in the courtyard greeting her guests as they arrived and she was dressed in this spectacular dress that was very form fitting and low cut. The bodice definitely emphasized all of her Maker given attributes. So Bann Lorne's son was next in line to greet her when Bean dropped the bouquet of flowers that had just been given to her. She bent over to pick them up and from what has been relayed to me, she gave those in line a stunning view of her breasts. So impressed with the view, the Bann's son immediately had a very noticeable erection for all of Ferelden's society to see. As if that wasn't bad enough Strider, Sabrina's mabari, had escaped the dog pen and charged the crowd scaring everyone; also scared one noble's son so badly that he had an accident in his pants."

Tristen burst out laughing and Fergus joined in. Both of them had tears rolling down their cheeks.

"It's not funny. That poor boy was the laughing stock of all of Ferelden and there isn't a noble girl in all of Thedas that would marry him. Who the hell would want to be known as Lady Happy Golden Showers," Sabrina exclaimed.

Both men burst out in another round of uncontrollable laughter and Sabrina couldn't suppress her laughter anymore and joined in.

"Oh Maker, that has to be the best story I've heard in a long time," Tristen said gasping for breath.

"Oh, there is never a dull moment with Beanie around. I have plenty more," Fergus said.

"That will be enough from you, big brother. Two can play at that game," Sabrina replied.

Fergus winked at Tristen, "Yes, you're right. I'll be a good big brother from now on."

"Now, you're just being a condescending arse," Sabrina grumbled.

"So where is Strider?" Tristen asked.

Sabrina face suddenly became very solemn and she didn't say anything. "He died in the final battle," Fergus replied.

Tristen looked stricken that he had brought up such a painful subject. "Brin, I am so sorry. I didn't mean…"

She stood up, "It's okay. You didn't know. If you will excuse me I think I would like to take a hot bath before dinner."

Both Fergus and Tristen stood up. Fergus went to her side and hugged her. "When you're ready Beanie, we will get you another mabari puppy." She nodded and he kissed her forehead.

Sabrina hadn't thought about Strider in a couple of days, but that didn't mean that the pain of his loss was any less. He had been by her side since she was ten years old and she missed his constant reassuring presence. Between thoughts of Strider and being back at home, Sabrina was in a somber mood for the remainder of the night. After dinner when Fergus and Tristen retired to the study for after dinner drinks, Sabrina excused herself saying that she had a headache and wanted to head to bed early. Tristen looked disappointed, but Sabrina knew that she wouldn't be good company this evening.

**xxXxx**

The following morning Sabrina seemed back to her normal self. Once again at breakfast Fergus was a generous and jovial host and the conversation flowed effortlessly - that was until Fergus brought up the taking over the throne issue again.

"Not to beat a dead horse here, Tristen, but are your intentions regarding Alistair and the throne true?" Fergus questioned.

Tristen had to walk a fine line here. He actually had no ambitions for the crown, but if Alistair's continued descent into darkness prevented him from properly ruling their father's country, then he would have to do something about it. However, to openly declare it would be treason. It would also alert both Sabrina and Fergus to the connection that he shared with Alistair – a connection he wasn't ready to disclose yet. Not to mention making them aware that the King was mentally unstable right now.

"As long as Alistair is a just and _stable_ king I have no desire for the throne," Tristen replied.

Fergus nodded as he weighed what had just been said. "Well, you are going to have to make your existence known to Alistair, and to the rest of Ferelden. We can't have someone who looks exactly like the King running around the country killing darkspawn when the King is supposed to be in Denerim. It will cause unrest amongst the people."

"I agree with you Fergus, and I have every intention of making Alistair aware that he has a brother. However, I felt it was important for him to adjust to the pressures of ruling before adding something else to his plate," Tristen countered.

Fergus smiled, "Yes, I agree. That would be the wisest course of action, but you can't wait too long. It won't take much longer for the rumors to reach Denerim that Alistair has a doppelganger running around the country."

Tristen nodded in agreement and the subject was dropped. The rest of conversation during breakfast went smoothly and near the end Sabrina asked Tristen if they taught the Orlesian Wardens how to ride. With a grin, Tristen informed Sabrina that they weren't as backwards as she believed and that they knew how to ride.

"Great! Then I'll see you at the stables around Noon," Sabrina said as she got up from the table, kissed her brother's cheek and headed out the door.

Fergus just snickered and shook his head. "What aren't I getting here?" Tristen asked.

"Well, first off, Sabrina has been riding horses since before she could even walk. Our mother was an excellent horsewoman and taught both of us how to ride," Fergus replied.

"And what else aren't you saying?" Tristen asked.

"How about we talk after you return?"

"Okay. She isn't going to lead me deep into the woods and slit my throat?" Tristen asked.

Fergus laughed, "No, nothing as dreadful as that."

Tristen met her in the stables a couple of hours later. She wore a very form fitting pair of riding pants with black riding boots and a tight fitting blouse. Tristen had to take a deep breath and compose himself. This was going to be a very long day and it would take every ounce of discipline he could muster not to touch her. The way those damn trousers hugged her curves and emphasized her perfectly round bottom, she was going to drive him crazy.

She already had two horses saddled and ready. The groomsmen helped her into the saddle and then handed her the reins. Once Tristen was mounted, she turned and grinned at him, "I thought we would have a picnic on the bluffs. Try and keep up."

And with that she took off, urging her horse on until they'd reached a flat out gallop. Tristen swore and followed fast, his mount as keen on catching up with them as he was. She was posted low in her saddle as her horse charged across the field, her long dark tresses flowing behind her. Fergus wasn't kidding when he said she was an excellent rider and Tristen struggled to keep up with her even after they'd left the pasture behind and slowed to follow a twisting path through the forest. The path finally opened up to a breathtaking vista that overlooked the ocean.

Sabrina dismounted and secured her horse to a nearby tree, leaving enough slack so he could graze. Tristen did likewise and they made their way to a grassy area. Sabrina spread out a blanket and unpacked the food and wine.

"Nan put together quite a spread for us," she said.

"I see that. What's the occasion?"

"There isn't one. This is one of my favorite places in Highever and I thought I would share it with you," Sabrina replied. Her eyes sparkled as she looked at the ocean. Apart from her solemn behavior last night at dinner, Tristen noticed that in just the short time she had been home, her demeanor had changed. It was as if being here had lifted a weight from her. She was more lighthearted and cheerful. The playful personality that he had seen countless times in Alistair's dreams had started to return.

"Thank you, I feel honored," Tristen said as he leaned back on the blanket and rested on his on his elbows.

Sabrina stared out to the ocean again for a moment before she spoke, "The Warden Commander that conscripted me was from Highever. He died at Ostagar with the rest of the Ferelden Wardens. He was like a father to Alistair and we had talked about honoring him. I spoke with Fergus this morning and he agreed to allow a memorial to be erected here, to honor Duncan and the Wardens we lost."

It stunned him by how touched he was by this simple gesture. He had loved Duncan as much, if not more than Alistair and to honor him, especially here, moved him beyond words.

Sabrina looked up at him and she leaned over, gently stroking his check. "Are you okay?"

He hadn't even realized he had been crying until she wiped a tear from his cheek. He looked into her eyes, saw her concern and compassion. "I knew Duncan. He had been part of my life for a long time. He was like a father to me too, and his death left a huge hole in my life."

She scooted closer to him and the scent of her jasmine perfume inundated his senses, causing his head to spin. She placed her hand over his, "You knew Duncan?" She asked.

"Yes, he lived in Orlais for a very long time. He was actually sent here to watch over Alistair after he had been sent to the Chantry," Tristen said.

"Were you raised by Wardens?"

He looked into her eyes and he wanted to get lost in them forever. He didn't want to have to walk this fine line with her. She made him want to bare his soul to her, but he knew there were things he needed to tell Alistair first, before he told them to anyone else. "Yes, I was raised by Wardens."

He ran his hand down her cheek, to her jaw, to her neck where his hand came to rest. "There are things I want to tell you, and that I will tell you, but it's only fair and right that I tell Alistair first."

Her brow furrowed for a moment as she studied him. He watched her beautiful face mull over what he had just told her. Ever fiber in his body was screaming to lean in and kiss her, but he forced himself to remain where he was.

She gave a quick nod, "I understand and that is how it should be. He's family." She paused for a long moment as she looked into his eyes. "I can tell you are carrying a heavy burden. Please know that I am here for you."

All he wanted to do was take comfort in her and find solace in her embrace, but he knew he couldn't seek that from her. "Thank you, but I'm fine." His words sounded unconvincing even to him.

She squinted as she scrutinized him. Sabrina slid her hand up Tristen's chest. The mere feel of her gentle touch stoked the fire that was within him anytime she was near, sending it roaring through his body. Her hand made its way up to his face and she cupped it in her soft palm. She guided his face toward hers, her lips brushing lightly against his, then leaned in to deepen the kiss. Her lips moved gently against his; the kiss was sweet and chaste for a moment, but the feel of her mouth against his was more then he could take and his resolve broke. He slipped his arms around her neck as he pressed his mouth against her soft, full lips. She arched her back into him and he heard a low moan escape his lips. Tristen slid his tongue along her bottom lip as he silently begged for entrance and she met his plea as she parted her mouth and his tongue sought out hers. They danced and intertwined together and he was captivated by how sweet and delicious she tasted; he was intoxicated with her and he felt like he wanted to lose himself in her forever.

Sabrina pulled back slightly and nibbled at his lip, teasingly caressing his lips with her tongue before she recaptured his mouth with hers with a renewed hunger and urgency. He felt his body begin to respond as a moan escaped her lips. She ran her fingers through his hair and heat scorched from her fingertips, crackling from her mouth as she deepened the kiss. He pulled her against the contours of his chest. He loved the way her body conformed to his. With a soft groan in his throat, his tongue darted into her mouth and it felt like a velvet flame against his tongue that burned so hotly, yet so sweetly. The taste of her was sheer bliss. Maker he had missed the feel of her against his body and the taste of her on his lips, but he knew if he continued down this path he wouldn't be able to stop.

Tristen pulled away and closed his eyes; his face betrayed the struggle that he waged within himself. His body shook beneath her touch, evidence of the powerful emotions that were locked inside him that she had stirred.

Gently Sabrina reached up and touched his face; his eyes opened and he looked down into her beautiful face. His free hand came up and he pressed his thumb along her bottom lip and then he traced the upper one as a long sigh escaped from her throat.

He closed his eyes again briefly to regain his composure. When he opened them he growled passionately, "Mon Soleil, I want to respect your wishes, but if you continue I can't guarantee that I can honor that promise." He sighed and he continued, "You have to understand, Brin, I lo…I long for you, and I am not strong enough to casually kiss you and then go back to being friends."

Sabrina ran her finger down side of his cheek. "I understand. I am sorry if I pushed your limits. I could tell you were hurting and I just wanted to comfort you." She murmured.

He rested his head against her forehead, "You have no idea how badly I want to take comfort in you, but I don't just want you for a moment, Sabrina. I want you for the rest of my life and if that means I have to wait while you work things out I am willing to wait, but I am only a man…a weak, weak man so you have to stop tempting me like this. If not, you are going to find me bending you over and fucking the living daylights out of you."

She laughed and he could tell she was fighting to hold back a response. After a moment she said "I appreciate you honoring my wishes and I will try to be more considerate in the future."

Fuck! Although that is what he expected her to say, what he wanted was for her to push him to the ground, straddle him and completely screw his brains out. "Well, it's starting to get late we should head back before Fergus has me drawn and quartered for deflowering his sister."

"Ha! He would be more shocked to hear that you didn't take advantage of me," Sabrina said.

Tristen remembered Fergus referencing some type of hidden meaning about horseback riding before they left this morning. "And why is that?"

"Well, Fergus used to tease me that I used horseback riding as foreplay with my lovers. Something to do with the posting and the rhythm and whatever else his demented mind thought of," Sabrina said.

Tristen knew she was experienced before she met Alistair and it was definitely one of the things he loved about her, but the thought of her having 'lovers' sent a wave of jealously through his veins right to the pit of his stomach. He had never been the jealous type – he had no idea why he was reacting like this. "When you say lovers, that just isn't a figure of speech is it?"

She smirked at him, "Don't tell me you're jealous?"

Tristen shook his head. "No, no I'm not jealous. Just curious."

"So are you asking me for a number?"

"A rough estimate," Tristen replied.

She narrowed her gaze at him, "Well, let's talk your numbers first. I'm sure a handsome stud such as yourself has had numerous sexual escapades. Your numbers have to easily be w-a-aay into the double digits."

"I wouldn't say w-a-ay into the double digits, but yes that is the range. But I'm a guy so…"

"Don't even hand me that hypocritical bullshit," she exclaimed as she jumped up and started packing up the picnic. "Men, you all are so un-fucking-believable. You say you want a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom, but only if she was your whore first."

She stomped around shoving things back into her bag when she spun to look at him. "Did you enjoy yourself by the pond?"

"Aaah, I do believe that it was obvious that I did," Tristen replied calmly, completely amused by her outburst.

"And do you think some naïve virgin could have given you such exquisite ecstasy?"

The image of her between his legs as her head glided up and down on him bringing him to the point of orgasm and then bringing him back down just to do it all over again flashed across his mind and he immediately felt himself getting hard again.

She stared at him waiting for an answer. He grinned her favorite grin, "I can't be sure. Maybe we need to do it again and I can give you a more honest answer."

She rolled her eyes as she gently pushed at his hip with her boot to roll him off the blanket. He grabbed her ankle and pulled her as he rolled. She lost her footing and fell beside him. He immediately rolled on top of her and pressed his rock hard penis against her groin. His hands tangled in her hair forcing her to look into his eyes. "I want you! Just the way you are. I wouldn't change a damn thing about you. You are perfection."

Then his lips passionately claimed hers and when he heard a moan escape her lips he knew he had her just where he wanted. He leapt to his feet and held out his hand to help her up. He watched the rise and fall of her chest as she tried to get her breathing under control. He looked into her eyes and saw unfulfilled hunger and desire and smiled to himself – always leave them wanting more.

She grasped his hand and he helped her to her feet. They finished packing up the picnic in silence, but he could feel her questioning gaze on him.

As they walked to the horses he said, "I do believe it was you that said something about not acting like a hormonal teenager. Well the same goes for me. I can control myself. There are plenty of times I choose not to, but it is possible."

He cupped his hands together for her foot and boosted her into her saddle. She smiled down at him, "I guess miracles do still happen."

He laughed as he mounted his horse. She led the way back to the castle at a much slower pace so that they could talk more easily. When they entered the courtyard the two stable hands came out to take the horses from them.

They were about to make their way into the main hall when Fergus greeted them at the main doors.

He looked at Sabrina's disheveled hair and clothes and grinned, "Oh my, so it was that kind of _**ride.**_"

"Not the kind you're used to, no money exchanged hands," Sabrina said dryly.

Both Tristen and Fergus burst out laughing.

"Oh, Bean, I've missed you. It's good to have you home," Fergus chortled as he threw an arm around her shoulder and walked into the main hall with her.

***Authors notes – First I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. The response has been awesome and I appreciate your support.**

**There were a couple of points that were raised in the reviews and in PM's that I wanted to address quickly. I won't confirm or deny that Fiona is the Theirin Twins mother, but I would like to clear up that this story is an AU story and will not be following canon lore. However, as with all of my writings I would offer some type of explanation for the circumstances presented in the story.**

**There were also questions raised about Tristen's inconsistencies between chapter one and chapters two and three. Since at least fifty percent of chapter one was not my story I had to try and find a way to explain his behavior and have it fit in with rest of the story plot-line. I had tried to show that Tristen in chapter one was only impersonating the mental state of Alistair. **

**Basically, the Tristen that you see in chapters two and three is the real one, the person you see in chapter one is Tristen acting as he sees Alistair through their shared dreams. I apologize if this was not conveyed clearly and I will work harder in the future to make sure that the story plot is plainly communicated. **

**I also want to thank Jinx and ****R****andomWittering**** for putting together such a wonderful forum for writers. It has been a pleasure getting to know all the cheeky monkey over there. If you haven't visited the forum I highly recommend it. ****ht tp:/ /w w storm. /cm da/ index. php**** Remove the spaces.**

**Last, but never least, I want to thank R****andomWittering for her Beta awesomeness. I appreciate all of your help and insight. You rock!**


	5. Chapter 5 Something to Believe

**Chapter 5**

"You spend your days alone still hoping for the truth oh, but all you hear are lies  
But no one else is going to tell you what to do now, no one else is going to help you hold the line.  
Sometimes it's hard to keep on living, but you're the one who's got to know just when it's right.

You say 'keep my head from going down', just for a little just for a little  
Watch my feet float off the ground, just for a little just for a little  
A little love if you can hear this sound, oh just give me something, something to believe in.

_Something to Believe In by Parachute_

Sabrina had been in Highever for almost two months helping Fergus go through the debris. The Highever Fall Festival would begin tonight with a huge bonfire in the village and then tomorrow she and Tristen would leave for Vigil's Keep. She sat in front of a pile of belongings sifting through what should be saved and what should be tossed out, when she saw the glint of a pommel. "Oooo, I forgot all about this."

Both Fergus and Tristen looked up from their piles just as she pulled the short sword out from the jumble of items. She swung it back and forth a few times testing its balance and a grin spread across her face as she turned to Fergus, "It's still in good shape. Do you remember why this sword is so important to me brother?"

Fergus grunted, "Of course I do. With your constant boasting how could I forget?"

Tristen looked back and forth between the two of them. "Why is it important?"

"Well, I was twelve when I decided that I wanted to switch from a sword and shield to dual weapons. For my thirteenth birthday, my dad gave me a sword and a matching dagger."

"Aaah, so it has sentimental value," Tristen stated.

"Oh it does, but not what you're thinking, and the sword he gave her for her birthday isn't the one she's holding," Fergus piped in.

"No, the sword he gave me for my birthday was plainer than this one. Anyway, growing up I always looked up to Fergus who was four years older than me, and who for as long as I could remember kicked my arse in the sparring ring every time. So for a year I relentlessly worked on my dual weapon and rogue techniques. About a week before the fall harvest festival was to begin I challenged Fergus to duel in the sparring ring, and just like a big brother, he naturally made fun of me and told me to come see him when I actually had hair on my chest."

"I didn't say that," Fergus retorted.

"Yes you did! Then you corrected yourself and said, 'oh, well in your case, when you have actually grown boobs'."

Tristen stifled a laugh and Fergus grinned at him, "Well, she really was flat chested for the longest time."

"Thank the Maker that changed," Tristen said as he winked at her.

"Anyway, I was so mad at him for not taking me seriously that I waited until the fall festival had begun and in front of all of his friends, at least half a dozen wannabe noble girlfriends and our parents, I threw down my gauntlet at his feet and challenged him to a duel."

"Get out," Tristen exclaimed.

"Much to the horror of our mother and the pride of our father," Fergus said.

"So our father arranged the duel for the following day and every lord, lady and landowner in Highever turned out. We used blunted weapons and the rules stated by my father were that a head or solid body shot was considered a killing blow and if the opponent was unable to stand, the winner would be declared. Our match seemed to go on for an eternity and near the end my muscles were screaming, but I refused to allow him to defeat me. My quick agile moves finally wore him down and I was able roll past, come up behind him and deliver a killing blow to the back of the head," Sabrina said with pride.

Fergus smiled warmly at her, "I learned two valuable lessons that day. Never underestimate your opponent, no matter their size and never misjudge their determination, because if their resolve is greater than your skill there is a good chance you're going to lose."

Sabrina winked at her brother. "My father was proud of my determination for not taking 'no' for an answer, for believing in myself and for my resilience in the ring. So he had this sword and a matching dagger commissioned for me." She lovingly ran her hand over its blade and then quickly wiped a tear from her cheek. "I rarely ever used it because it meant so much to me, so I didn't have it with me the night of the attack."

Fergus squeezed her shoulder. "I'm glad you found it, Bean. We can have it cleaned and sharpened so that it's brought back to its original beauty and I will keep an eye for the matching dagger."

Sabrina squeezed her brother's hand. "Thank you, Fergus."

He was about to reply when Sabrina's hand maid came running in. "My Lady, I have been looking everywhere for you. It's time to get ready for the festival tonight."

Sabrina's brow furrowed, "Get ready? The festival isn't for a few more hours yet!"

"Yes, but I am sure Lady Cousland would like to take a bath so she don't smell like week old rubbish," Lena retorted.

Sabrina's eyes widened and Fergus burst out laughing. "Lena, you're the only one that can talk to her like that and get away with it."

"Get away with it! I was wipin' this girl's bottom on the day she was born and I've been taking care of her as I could, ever since. Her mother may 'ave brought her into this world, but if she don't get 'er behind upstairs this instant, I will be the one to take 'er out," Lena replied dryly.

"You're getting mean in your old age. I think Nan rubbed off on you," Sabrina huffed as she started out the door.

"Who are you calling old?" Lena replied as she marched out behind her.

**xxXxx**

Tristen stood by the main castle gate waiting for Sabrina so he could walk her to the village. These past two months with her here at Highever had been wonderful. He noticed that she drew her strength from Highever and from Fergus. He had watched a rebirth in her. The defeated, agonized look that seemed to have haunted her eyes since he met her in Denerim was gone and once again they sparkled with life and joy. He didn't think he could have loved her more, but watching the revival that took place in her spirit, had him falling in love with her all over again.

After that day on the cliffs she had been considerate, even a little overly so, of his weak manly desires and much to his dismay she had barely touched him. His body was being to ache with want and need for her, and he could tell the lack of physical satisfaction was beginning to weigh on her as well.

Despite the lack of physical intimacy they had become very close mentally and emotionally. When they weren't working on the restoration of the castle, they spent long hours walking or horseback riding together. She told him about her memories growing here, about her family and when he pressed her, she told him about the man that had lost her virginity to.

When Tristen heard that her first lover had been the son of the man that had slaughtered her family, a fury coursed through him so violently it nearly frightened him. Even though Sabrina wholeheartedly believed that Nathaniel knew nothing of his father's plans, Tristen wouldn't believe it until he looked the man in the eyes and saw for himself. And Maker help him if saw even a trace of doubt.

On one occasion she had pressed him about Alistair and how Tristen knew to act like such a complete arse.

"_Ouch, a complete arse, I wouldn't go that far," Tristen said._

"_Oh really! 'Don't make me fuck you into silence' isn't going to get top grades in charm school," Sabrina retorted. _

"_Okay, I'll give you that, but the rest of the time I was…" He looked over at her and she raised an eyebrow at him. "Your right I was a complete ass."_

"_Why?" She questioned. _

"_Have you ever heard that twins sometimes have unusual connections?" Sabrina nodded so he continued. "Well, I have been aware of my brother's existence all of my life and I can sense Alistair's moods and emotions. Ever since you conscripted Loghain I could sense a big shift in Alistair's emotion. He is very angry at you and his anger is growing darker with each passing day."_

"_You can sense that?"_

"_Yes, I feared he would actually harm you. That is why I volunteered to be the one to escort you back to Vigil's Keep, and because I could sense Alistair's anger, I knew that I had to continue that façade long enough to get you away from Denerim and away from him," Tristen replied. _

"_I know that Alistair is angry at me, but he would never hurt me," Sabrina countered._

"_I believe you are thinking of the Alistair that you traveled with during the Blight, and you're right, _that_ Alistair would never hurt you. The Alistair that is now sitting on the throne is a very angry man that is having very dark thoughts," Tristen said._

"_You're wrong, Tristen. I trust Alistair. He would never hurt me," Sabrina replied stubbornly. _

_What he wanted to say was, 'really, that's why he grudge fucked you against a wall and bit and scratched the hell out of you'. But he took a deep breath and instead said, "Don't be naïve, Brin. Follow your instinct and you know what I am saying is true."_

He heard her voice before he saw her and he turned to see her approaching from the main hall. She wore a velvet gown, the color of dark gold, with a bodice that had a drop waist and hugged every inch of her tantalizing curves. The low neckline, trimmed in a gold and chocolate loop braid, immediately drew his attention to the tops of her creamy breasts. A brown and gold brocade belt sat on her hips, accentuating her tiny waist and the swell of her hips. Her hair was pulled up but tiny ringlets framed her face. She was absolutely stunning and it took his breath away. How the bloody hell was he supposed to hold her, dance with her and not get an erection. The last thing he needed was to become known as Warden Happy Pants.

Tristen looked down at the matching colors of the doublet he wore over chocolate brown trousers, he had borrowed from Fergus and had to smile. Just some old clothes from the attic my arse.

As she drew near, Tristen bowed, "My Lady, you look utterly amazing."

She smiled as she sized him up and gracefully curtsied, "My Lord, you clean up pretty nicely yourself.

"My Lady," Lena yelled as she came running into the courtyard. "You forgot your cape. I think you'd forget your head if it weren't attached to your body. You'll need this tonight to stay warm."

Sabrina leaned into Tristen and whispered, "I honestly think she forgets that I led a campaign against the Blight for a year and half."

Tristen chuckled as the hand maid approached.

Sabrina sighed patiently, kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you, Lena."

Tristen took the chocolate fur lined cape from Lena and slipped it over Sabrina's shoulders and whispered in her ear. "She didn't have to worry about you staying warm tonight. I would have no problem pressing up against you so that my body heat could warm you from your head to your toes."

He watched her blush slightly, "Yes, I think that's what she's worried about. She is trying to keep my virtue intact."

He laughed, "It's a little late for that."

She playfully smacked his arm. "She doesn't know that, and doesn't need to know either."

By the time they made it to the village the party was in full swing. Sabrina spotted her brother on the other side of the bonfire and started to make her way over to him. Every few steps she was stopped by someone wanting to congratulate her on her victory during the Blight, or to offer their condolences about her family. Tristen admired the way she graciously and kindly interacted with everyone. It was obvious that the people of Highever were extremely loyal to the Cousland Family.

They finally made it to Fergus and he smiled at them as they approached. "My my, don't the two of you make such a striking couple," he said as he handed them each a glass of wine.

"Nice brother, very subtle. I see we are going to need to have a talk," Sabrina said dryly as she took the glass from him.

"What did I do?"

Sabrina raised an eye brow. "First, you dressed us like we are a couple…"

"You're not?"

She glared at him, "Second, Tristen was supposed to keep a low profile and you have him dressed as a noble who looks remarkably like the King!"

"Nooo, now that Tristen has started to grow out his hair he doesn't look like Alistair so much. And everyone knows that the King is in Denerim celebrating Fall Harvest there. So even if he does look like him they know it's not. Besides, look how handsome he looks," Fergus said jovially.

Sabrina was just about so say something nasty when one of the sons of a local noble approached her. "My Lady, would you honor me with a dance?"

She smiled courteously, "I would be honored, my Lord."

Tristen watched as the man led Sabrina toward the fire, took her in his arms and began to twirl and spin her around the fire with the other couples. Tristen frowned and turned to the Teyrn, "Fergus, I have come to love you like a brother, but please stay the hell out of my love life."

Fergus laughed and poured him another glass of wine. "Brother, I do believe you're going to need this."

Tristen didn't know what Fergus meant at first, but an hour later as he watched every nobleman dance with her, some two or three times, it became clear. Fergus made his way back over to him and sat down on the bench beside him. "She does love to dance," he said as he watched his sister dancing around the fire.

"Yes, I am picking that up," Tristen replied dryly.

"Then what the hell are you doing sitting here watching her dance instead of being the one with his arms around her?" Fergus asked.

"She asked that I give her time and space. So I am," Tristen replied.

"Because of Alistair?"

Tristen nodded.

"Tristen, when I saw Bean in Denerim after the final battle, I saw something that absolutely horrified me – I saw that the light had completely gone out of my her eyes and it absolutely broke my heart, because it was her vivaciousness and zest for life that had made her such an incredible force. These past two months I have watched her come back to life. That sparkle is back in her eyes, and it's because of you."

"No, you're wrong. It's being back here in Highever that has brought that vitality back."

"Are you bloody blind, man? If it weren't for you I think being back in Highever would have completely destroyed her. Did she ever tell you what she went through the night the castle was attacked?" Fergus asked.

"She talked about it, but I could tell that she sugarcoated most of it and that I was told the edited version," Tristen replied.

"Well, I'm sure she will when she is ready, and I will let her tell you the details of that terrible night. I will say this, the things that she saw and endured that night would have shattered most people, but she has this extraordinary inner strength and perseverance. She fought through the nightmare she endured and she went on to save an entire country. But in Denerim that strength and determination were gone. I believe that as fragile as she was back then, that coming back here and reliving the nightmare of that night, would have broken her," Fergus said bitterly.

"Alistair did do quite a number on her," Tristen whispered.

Fergus nodded in agreement. "This is my point, you traveled with her for two weeks before you arrived here and even on the first day of being here I noticed a change in her from when I had last seen her. For two months, I have watched her slowly return to the spirited young woman I once knew and it's because of you. Her face lights up when you come into the room, her eyes sparkle when she looks at you and if I have to sit and listen to her ramble on about you one more time, I swear I'm going to run myself through with my sword."

Tristen laughed.

Fergus turned to him, "You love her, don't you?"

Tristen nodded.

"Then why are sitting here instead of taking her in your arms and telling her that?"

"I'm trying to give her…"

"Please don't tell me that you are trying to give her time. Tell her you love and let her decide what to do with that information," Fergus said

Tristen thought about this for a moment and realized Fergus was right. He had given her time and now he need to let her know he wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't going to leave her because he loved her.

"You're right, Fergus. Thank you," Tristen said as he stood up and headed over toward the fire.

Sabrina was dancing with a tall lanky man who was holding her much too close for Tristen's liking. He tapped the man on the shoulder and he paused. "Excuse me, but could I cut in," he asked.

The man hesitated and then said, "Well, that would be up to Lady Cousland."

Sabrina smiled, "Thank you Earl for the lovely dance, but I have yet to dance with my fellow Warden this evening, so if you don't mind?"

The man bowed, "No my Lady, of course not."

Tristen stepped in and placed his hand on the small of her back and drew her into him. He could smell the Highever jasmine in her hair. It felt wonderful to have her back in his arms. He took her hand and began to twirl her around the fire.

"I was beginning to think you didn't know how to dance," Sabrina said.

"Oh I just wanted all those poor sods to believe that they actually had a shot with you," Tristen chortled.

Sabrina giggled. "Oh and you think you do?"

"I know I do," Tristen sighed into her ear and he felt a tremor pass through her. Damn he wanted her, every fiber of his being was aching for her.

"Did your body react like that when those other men held you in their arms?"

He heard her breath hitch. She looked up into his eyes. He saw longing and hunger there and pressed into her letting her know just how much he yearned for her and a moan of desire escaped her lips.

He spun her around, drew her back into him and dipped her as he pressed harder against her thigh. He brought her back up and his face was inches from hers. Her face was flushed with want and need. He took her hand and led her away from the crowd into the woods nearby. When he was sure they were far enough in that they wouldn't be discovered, he pressed her against a tree and leaned into her.

His lips were inches from hers as he breathlessly whispered, "You haven't answered me yet, Brin."

She looked at him questioningly. He moved his lips to her ear and whispered, "Did you tremble in the arms of those other men?"

He reached up, adjusted the material, exposing her breast and ran his thumb over the nipple. "Did your nipples become hard and erect at their touch?

He slid his hand down her side, gathering up the skirt of her dress. He pulled her small clothes aside and slipped his fingers into her exquisitely hot, wet center. A moan tore from her throat. "And were you dripping wet with the anticipation of their mouth on your body, the way you are right now?"

She shook her head no. Tristen heard her breath quicken and her body trembled against his fingers. Maker, he wanted to bury himself in her and get lost forever, but now was not the time. His fingers continued to slide in and out of her as his thumb stroked the swollen nub. She was getting close, but he wanted to time this just right. He slipped his other hand up her back, resting it on the nape of her neck. "Do know why that just holding you in my arms right now is sending fire burning through my veins?" He pressed himself into her thigh, trying to relieve some of the pressure just so he could think.

"And do you know why just the mere thought of you makes me so unbelievably hard?" Sabrina slid her hand down and grabbed him through his pants. A hungry growl ripped from his throat as she began to stroke him through his trousers.

"And do you know why for the past two months, every morning I've had to relieve the sexual frustration myself before I can even be around you, just so that I can think straight?"

Again he felt her shake her head no, but now she was shaking uncontrollably as she increased the pressure against his hand. Fingers continued to glide in and out of her and he leaned over and took her nipple in his mouth, sucking at it. She arched her back as the wave of pleasure crashed over her and her muscles contracted around his fingers. Her body shook with the aftershocks and he took pleasure in her pleasure.

She started to reach inside his trousers, but he grabbed her hand and stopped her. "It's not because of lust, although Maker knows I want you more than anything I've ever wanted my entire life." He paused and slid his hand around from her neck, cupped her hand and forced her to look at him. "It's because I love you, Brin. I am so head over heels in love with you I can't think straight, I can't sleep and I haven't eaten a decent meal since we arrived here, even though Nan is a fantastic cook. And I know deep down, even though you are afraid to admit it, you love me too."

She looked at him for a moment, then she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his and the world just slipped away. A hushed moan escaped from the back of his throat as he indulged himself in the sweet honey taste of her mouth and the soft velvety feel of her tongue as it caressed his. She pulled away from the kiss and reached up and touched the side of his face. He covered her hand with his. "I'm not him, Sabrina. I may look like him, but I am not him."

She looked into his eyes for a long moment and he saw the tears beginning to well. "Please be patient a little longer. I'm trying."

He pulled her to him, "Oh baby, I know you are. I told you I would wait for you forever, and I will, if that's how long it takes for you to realize I would never do to you what he did."

**xxXxx**

_Alistair stood on the shore of a small lake. He recognized this as one of the areas they had stopped at in their travels during the Blight. He noticed further down the shore a naked woman standing up drying herself off and a man watching her. As he moved closer he realized that the woman was Bree and the man was him. _

_Bree looked over and caught him watching her. "Are you enjoying the show?" _

"_Well, actually if you could shake your ass a little and maybe touch yourself it would be a much better show. I might even tip you." Alistair was amused with his witty retort._

_She raised an eye and then spun around so that her bare back was to him. Then slowly and very provocatively her hips began to sway back and forth as her hands caressed her hips and bottom. She turned toward him and with her hips still swaying, she ran her hands over her breasts, down her stomach and between her legs. His jaw dropped. He reached for her, but she jumped back. _

_She smiled at him and waved a finger in his face, "It's a show. You can look, but you cannot touch." _

_His eyes grow wide with desire, "The hell I can't." And jumped to his feet and lunged for her._

_Alistair watched as he chased, as she laughed and screamed. This particular incident never happened, but there were plenty of times that were just as playful and carefree. He could feel the love that was radiating off of him for her, and he ached to be like that with her again. From a distance Alistair watched as he grabbed her from behind, spun her around and claimed her as his own. He watched as he fucked her, but there was none of the anger, none of the hate and none of the self loathing. It was as it once had been._

_After he had climaxed, Alistair watched as he rested his head in the crook of her neck. Her fingers intertwined in his hair. He had loved it when she did that. It was such a small gesture, but she had always made it feel so intimate and loving. _

_He looked into her eyes and saw something that he hadn't seen there in a very long time –pure, unblemished love. She smiled that beautiful radiant smile of hers at him and Alistair felt his heart flutter like it had the first time he had met her in Ostagar. Seeing her eyes sparkle once again and that dazzling smile made him realize how badly he missed seeing that. He hadn't seen her happy and at peace in months. _

_The scene switches and he is on a cliff overlooking the sea. He doesn't recognize the location, but was very familiar with the couple on the blanket. Sabrina stood over him and rolled her eyes. She gently pushed at his hip with her boot, but he grabbed her ankle and as he rolled he pulled her down beside him. He watched as he immediately rolled on top of her and pressed himself into her groin._

_Alistair heard himself groan and felt himself growing hard. _

_As he lay on her, he tangled his hands in her hair and forced her to look into his eyes. "I want you! Just the way you are. I wouldn't change a damn thing about you. You are perfect. I love you. I have been in love you with for so long." __Then his lips passionately claimed hers._

_Alistair had no idea why he would be saying these things to her. They were true of course, but these dreams made no sense whatsoever. _

Alistair slowly woke up as the sun began to filter into his room. He stretched as he recalled the dream and the memory of it still made him smile. The sound of her laughter, the beauty of her smile, and her playfulness made him ache for her. They had been so good together, so right for each other. He had never known that love could feel like that. That is it could make you feel secure and vulnerable, make you crazy and sane, give you serenity and make you confused. The eighteen months that he had spent with her were the happiest of his entire life. He desperately wanted things to be that way again, but then the memories of her betrayal came flooding back and the anger began to rise up once again.

He threw the covers aside and climbed out of bed. Fury coursed through him again, but this time he tried to suppress it, to push it down. He wanted to be happy again. He wanted to be happy with her again. It had been two months since she had left. She should be settled in at Vigil's Keep by now. As King and as a Warden it would only be fitting that he welcomed the new Arlessa. Selling this idea to Eamon wouldn't be easy, but he was king and he would what he wanted.

_Tristen was having one of his favorite dreams. He was on the cliff with Sabrina and he was telling her finally how much he loved her when he sensed Alistair there on the cliff with them. He glanced over his shoulder and saw him watching them. He could feel the love that Alistair had for this woman and the joy she had once brought him, and in that instant he completely understood his brother, because he felt the exact same way about her. _

Tristen felt himself jerk awake. The memory of the dream washed over him again and the realization that for the first time in months, Alistair had positive feelings towards Sabrina. Tristen smiled, there was hope. Hope that Alistair would be able to pull himself out of this abyss.

**Once again, I want to thank R****andomWittering for being Beta-spectacular. I appreciate all of your help and insight. **


	6. Chapter 6 He's My Brother

Although this story will take place around Awakenings I will not be rehashing the story. For the most part it will just be part of the background. The one exception will be this chapter that opens with Alistair's arrival at Vigil's Keep.

**Chapter 6**

"The road is long, with many a winding turn, that leads us to who knows where  
Who knows where, but I'm strong, strong enough to carry him, he ain't heavy, he's my brother

So on we go, his welfare is of my concern, no burden is he to bear, we'll get there  
For I know, he would not encumber me, he ain't heavy, he's my brother"

_He's My Brother by The Hollies_

The royal entourage was miles away when they saw the smoke rising from Vigil's Keep and as they approached the Keep itself, they noticed the darkspawn corpses sprawled across the fields. Alistair felt his stomach tighten as fear started to spread through him. He prayed to the Maker that she was okay.

Alistair and the royal guard marched through the Keep's gates and were greeted by Sabrina and a small group of soldiers. She was covered in blood, but seemed unharmed and Alistair breathed a sigh of relief. She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and a part of him wanted to take her in his arms and never let her go, while the other part of him wanted to physically cause her pain for destroying what they had together. He pushed those thoughts aside. He did not want to go to the dark place.

As Alistair moved further into the Keep he saw shock ripple across Sabrina's face when she realized it was him. She immediately went to her knees and bowed her head, as did the rest of the group when they realized who he was.

"Oh, there is no need for that. Please stand," Alistair insisted. "I wanted to come and give the Wardens and the Arlessa a formal welcome. However, I certainly didn't expect this. What is the situation?"

"Your Majesty, I am Varel, the seneschal of Vigil's Keep. What darkspawn that remained have fled. The Grey Wardens that arrived from Orlais appear to be either dead or missing," the older man in the heavy chain armor said.

"Missing? As in taken by the darkspawn? Do they even do that?" Alistair asked.

"Well, obviously, they have learned a few new tricks," Sabrina replied coolly.

Alistair turned to her smiled. "And how about you, Commander, you weren't badly hurt I see."

"You know me, your Majesty, it takes more than a few darkspawn to bring me down. I am fine," Sabrina replied calmly.

"As indestructible as ever, I see," Alistair chuckled as he tried to lighten the mood, but was having trouble reading her. "I would love to help you fight darkspawn, Bree, but with the country still in need of my aid, I am afraid I won't be able to stay long."

"I'll be fine your Majesty. No need to worry. I have everything under control," Sabrina replied.

"As always, Commander," Alistair responded.

"Hey, what am I, chopped nug livers?" Oghren asked.

"Oh, Oghren, I didn't even see you there," Alistair retorted.

"Was that a criticism about my height?" Oghren challenged.

"Not in the least. I honestly didn't see you there," Alistair replied.

"Came here to join the Wardens, now show me the cup so I can gargle and spit," Oghren demanded.

Sabrina leaned over and whispered in Oghren's ear, "Spitting isn't allowed."

"Oh good to know," Oghren whispered back.

"You'd be welcome amongst us" Sabrina replied.

"Well smack my ass and call me Sallie, I'm in!" Oghren exclaimed.

"I am glad to hear that you will be traveling with her again," Alistair replied.

"Joining the Grey Wardens? Well good luck with that," the mage standing behind Sabrina chortled.

A templar stepped forward and warned, "Your Majesty beware, this man is a dangerous criminal."

"Oh the dwarf is a bit of an arse, but I wouldn't go as far as to call him dangerous," Alistair insisted.

"She means me your Majesty," the mage answered.

"This is an apostate we were in the process of bringing back to the Circle to face justice," the Templar went on to explain.

"Oh please, the things you people know about justice you could fit into a thimble. It doesn't matter anyway, I will just escape again," the mage retorted.

"Never, I will see you hung for what you have done here, murderer," the Templar threatened.

"Murder? But those templars were already…oh never mind. You won't believe me anyway." the mage replied.

"There doesn't seem much to say, unless you have something to add Commander?" Alistair asked and he knew that she would and where she would take this. After Greagoir had refused to offer aid during the Blight, Bree had vowed to make it her personal goal to take as many templars from that small minded arse as possible.

"Anders helped us defeat the darkspawn in this recent battle and I found no evidence that would implicate him in the deaths of those templars. I believe this templar has allowed her own personal feelings for mages and for this mage in particular to cloud her own judgment."

"That is untrue," the Templar snapped.

"Really? What evidence do you have, to show that Anders murdered those templars?" Sabrina questioned.

The Templar remained silent. "I thought as much. Well I have seen their bodies and I know the difference between darkspawn wounds and those produced by a mage. Those templars were killed by darkspawn," Sabrina retorted.

Alistair watched as a mischievous glint appeared in her eyes and a wicked grin spread across her face. "I hereby invoke the Right of Conscription on this mage and offer him a place in the Grey Wardens," Sabrina grinned.

"What? Never!" The Templar cried out, "I won't allow it."

"I do believe the Wardens still hold the Right of Conscription," Alistair said. "I will allow it."

The Templar said nothing and stomped off. "Aaah, way to go kid. Welcome aboard," Oghren chuckled.

"Me, a Grey Warden? I guess that will work," Anders said.

"Welcome Anders," Sabrina said.

"Commander, there is a man in the dungeons that took four Wardens to bring down. Now that the Keep is back under control, the decision regarding his sentence should be dealt with immediately," Varel said.

Sabrina let out a weary sigh, "Fine, Varel, if you could please show King Alistair to our guest quarters and the royal guard to the barracks, I would like to go wash up. Then I will go deal with the prisoner. We are sorely lacking Grey Wardens, so let's prepare to have the joining first thing in the morning."

"Yes, Commander," Varel replied.

"I would like to be there for the joining," Alistair said.

Sabrina raised an eyebrow.

"It's not like I have never been to a joining before. That is one Warden secret I do know about, so I would like to participate in the first joining in Ferelden since the Blight."

"As you wish, your Majesty," Sabrina said sarcastically and she turned to head into the keep.

Alistair stepped forward and touched her arm. He paused as he waited for everyone to move out of earshot. "Bree, I really need to talk to you."

"Alistair, it has been a very long day and it doesn't look like it is about to end anytime soon. I really am not up for a verbal sparring match with you."

Alistair looked at her and she did look bone tired. He wished he could help relieve some of her stress, "I don't want to fight with you either. I just want to talk you."

She looked at him and then at his hand that was still holding on to her arm. Alistair immediately released her. "There are things that still need tending to, if I am not absolutely exhausted afterward I will send word to your rooms. Otherwise, it may have to wait till after the joining in the morning."

Alistair felt a flare of rage race through his veins. She was purposely avoiding him. "I am your King. I could demand that you see me immediately," he jeered at her.

She stepped forward so that she was inches from him. He saw that old glint in her eyes that he hadn't seen in months. She leaned in even closer and hissed, "You Sire, are at Vigil's Keep, a Warden compound, and since you keep insisting that you are still a Warden that means that as Commander of the Grey, you fall under my command, not the other way around. I will see you when I am damn good and ready. I have no idea what the hell you want to talk about Alistair, but you aren't starting out on my good side."

It had been a while since he had seen her strength and resolve. She no longer looked like the broken woman he had left in the library. She had found herself again and as heat flickered through her eyes, he remembered how intimidating she could be when she wanted to be.

He took a step back and he clenched and unclenched his fists to keep from striking out at her. He took a deep breath, trying to rein his anger in. Why was he becoming furious with her? He knew she was right and she did look utterly exhausted. Why was he provoking her? He drew in a deep breath, fighting to stay calm. "Fine, please let me know when can meet."

She nodded and Alistair watched her walk away from him once again. He had come here to make amends with her not pick a fight with her. He needed to control himself if he had any hope of trying to set things right between them.

**xxXxx**

Sabrina made her way down the long dark corridors towards the Commander's quarters. She was still in shock that Nate was here. That Nate was alive and that by this time tomorrow Nate might be dead from the joining. At first, he had been just as happy to see she was alive as she was to see him, but then in typical Nate fashion, his stoic demeanor took over as he questioned her about his father's death. She was brutally honest with him about the monster that Rendon had become. She could tell that he hadn't believed her and under his apathetic façade she knew he was bitterly angry at her. Only time would tell if he could work through that anger and if they could once again become friends.

She also knew that Alistair wanted to see her tonight, but he was going to have to wait. She was physically and emotionally exhausted. She didn't know what the hell he was doing here or what he wanted, but she was in no mood for his mind games tonight. She would deal with him tomorrow after the joining.

Sabrina opened the door to her rooms and saw Tristen sitting in front of the fire with a glass of brandy in his hand and his head hung down.

"Tristen," she said softly. He didn't move or even stir in the slightest.

She walked over and knelt down in front of him. She took the glass from his hand and set it on the table. She took his hands in hers, "Tristen," she said again.

He looked into her eyes and she could tell he had been crying. She reached up and stroked his cheek. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her up and into his lap. His arms went around her waist as he hid his head against her chest and cried.

Her arms went around his neck and she buried her fingers in his hair. "Tristen, I am so sorry," she whispered.

He shook his head, "I can't believe they're all gone. I've known some of them most of my life. They were my family – they were my brothers and sisters."

She continued to stroke his hair and she kissed his forehead. "I know and I am so sorry."

"I should have been one of them. If I hadn't volunteered to go get you I would be dead or one of the missing Wardens," he moaned against the side of her neck. The thought that Tristen could have been one of the missing Wardens sent a cold chill of fear down her spin. The thought that they might never have met if not for that one decision caused her to breathe a sigh of relief.

"I know it's selfish to say, but I am really glad that you did come get me," Sabrina murmured.

He looked up into her eyes again and she caressed his cheek. "I know it's wrong, but a part of me is glad too. If I had stayed here I would have never have met you. The thought of dying without ever really knowing you; of not knowing the warmth of your smile, the enchanting sound of your laughter, not seeing the sparkle in your eyes or tasting your sweet lips, would have been torture, but then I feel this horrible guilt for even thinking that."

"Tristen, take it from someone who has learned to live with survivor's guilt, what you are experiencing is completely normal, so please don't beat yourself up over what you are thinking and feeling. Allow yourself the freedom to feel relief while at the same time grieving over the loss of those you loved."

He reached up, resting his hand on the nape of her neck while his thumb gently stroked her throat. "Sweet Brin, my sweet, sweet Brin. If there is one person in this world who knows what I am going through, it's you."

He pulled her forward and gently kissed her lips. "Let me in, Brin. Tell me what really happened that night."

She thought about it for a moment. If she wanted to be able to help him through this, he needed to know the details of her past. She kissed him gently, slid off of his lap, and poured them both a glass of brandy.

She sat down in the chair beside him. She let out a long sigh and then began, "I got woken in the middle of the night by the castle bells ringing and Strider was barking viciously at my door wanting to be let out. I knew something was wrong so I put my armor on and grabbed my weapons. My door opened and one of the servants ran in to warn me, but he was shot from behind with an arrow. I fought my way through Howe's men as I tried to get to my sister-in-law and nephew."

She paused, taking a sip of brandy as she collected her thoughts. "Please don't ever tell Fergus what I am about to tell you. He doesn't need to know these details."

Tristen nodded, "Of course not. This will stay between us."

"When I pushed open the door to Oriana's room I..I was horrified. Those bastards had slit Oren's throat and they'd raped and brutalized Oriana before they k-killed..." Sabrina's voice hitched and she paused again to collect herself. Tristen reached over and clasped her hand and squeezed it.

She smiled briefly then continued, "M-my mother ran in behind me, broke down when she saw them. I got her out of there as quickly as I could, telling her we needed to find my father. We had to fight our way through at least a dozen of Howe's men as we made for the larder, to the servant's exit. In every room we went through those monsters had savagely murdered the men and raped, tortured and killed the women. I never realized that people could be so utterly cruel and inhuman to each other. I was so naïve."

Still holding her hand, Tristen pulled her out of her chair and back in to his lap. "Man is the cruelest of all the animals. He is the only one that **inflicts** pain for the pleasure of doing it," Tristen said as he nuzzled his head against her neck. Sabrina took comfort in his warmth and in the security of his arms.

"When my mother and I got to the larder, we found my father. He'd been wounded so badly, was bleeding so much, I-I knew he was dying. Duncan found us a few minutes later. My father asked Duncan to get my mother and I to safety. Duncan said he would, if he had my father's permission for me to join the Grey Wardens."

"Duncan conscripted you while your father was dying?"

Sabrina nodded. Tristen was quiet for a long moment and then muttered, "Whatever it takes."

"Yes, whatever it takes." Sabrina was silent for a while before continuing, "My mother refused to leave my father's side knowing that she would die there with him…I never understood that until…" she didn't want finish the sentence.

Tristen looked at her, "Until Alistair."

She nodded. "I would have died for him if I had to. I would have taken the final blow if it came down to the two of us. I didn't know at the time, why Riordan would ask us to conscript Loghain. It didn't make sense, he knew what Loghain had done at Ostagar and still he asked us to put him through the joining. I knew there had to be a reason and I had to trust that a senior Warden would have reasons that I didn't know about yet."

"Wait a minute, are you saying that when Loghain was conscripted, you and Alistair didn't know why it had to be a Grey Warden to kill the Archdemon?"

"No, Duncan never had a chance to tell us before he died," Sabrina said.

"And does Alistair know this now?"

"No, he left before Riordan could tell us," Sabrina replied as she yawned.

Tristen didn't say anything, but seemed to be pondering something. She rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. She must have dozed off because the next thing she knew, Tristen was standing up with her in his arms. He walked over to the bed and gently laid her down; he kissed her forehead and she rolled over onto her side as he pulled the covers up. The last thing she remembered was the door clicking shut as the blanket of sleep took her over the edge into unconsciousness.

The next morning Tristen quietly eased into her room with a breakfast tray and set it on the table near the fireplace. He went over to the bed and sat on the edge, just watching her sleep peacefully. Even with her hair all messed up and what he was sure would be the worst morning breath he had ever smelled, he couldn't imagine loving her more. He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Time to get up, Commander," he whispered.

"Mmmm, but it's so nice and warm in here. Let's put the joining off until this afternoon," she groaned as she stretched.

"Somehow, I don't think that the recruits would be very happy to hear that," he said as he pulled the covers down.

"Hey, now that is just cruel," she moaned as she grabbed for the covers, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of bed.

"So tell me about this rumor I heard that both of your ex-boyfriends will be participating in the joining this morning. One as a recruit and one as an observer?"

"Oh that," she mumbled as she made her way over to the tea pot and poured herself a cup.

"Yes, that."

"Well, I would have told you about it last night, but we had other things to discuss." She paused, reaching for his hand and squeezed. "How are you this morning?"

"I think I'm still in shock and denial. It doesn't seem real. I mean there are so few bodies, a part of me wants to hope that they are still alive," Tristen murmured.

She smiled at him warmly tinged with sadness. "I know. For almost a year I held on to the hope that somehow my parents made it out alive. Then by chance I ran into one of Highever's knights in Denerim and he told me he was there when they laid my family's bodies to rest. The grief that hit me was so strong, it was as if it had just happened."

"I'm sorry, Brin."

"It's okay. I just wanted you to know I understand. Waves of grief will hit at unexpected times and that's okay. I'm here for you anytime you need a shoulder to cry on," Sabrina said sympathetically.

"And what if I want to cry on other parts of you," Tristen said as he grinned wickedly.

"Here I am trying to be compassionate and off you go thinking about sex." 

"I told you, I'm a guy. I think about sex a lot and I think about sex with you even more," Tristen chortled.

"And when you're thinking about sex, but not with me, who are you thinking about?" Sabrina inquired.

Tristen grinned, "Why? Are you jealous?"

"No, just curious."

Tristen continued to grin at her, "And what are you curious about?"

Sabrina started to blush, "Nothing in particular, just curious."

"You're lying."

"Okay so back to your original question…"

"You're trying to change the subject," Tristen interjected.

"I'm not trying, I am changing the subject. So the reason that both of my ex-boyfriends will be at the joining is because I conscripted Nate and Alistair insisted on watching the first joining in Ferelden since the Blight ended, then our King wishes to have a chat. Looks like a busy morning for me," Sabrina said.

Tristen had been prepared to continue to give her a hard time until he heard that she'd conscripted Nate. Varel had only said that Nate was going through the joining, not that Sabrina had conscripted him.

"And why exactly did you conscript Nate?" So over breakfast Sabrina relayed what had happened in the dungeon the night before.

"And you still believe he had nothing to do with the attack on Highever?" Tristen asked.

"Yes, I do. He is very angry at me. If you're a co-conspirator you'd be more fearful that I would find out the truth, not come here to avenge your father's death. No, Nate is innocent of his father's crimes, but unfortunately for him he will spend the rest of his life trying to prove his innocence. If I can help him bring honor back to his family's name then I will," Sabrina replied.

"This has to be some weird nobility code of honor because I just don't get it. This man's father killed your family, why would you want him to regain his honor?" Tristen demanded.

"Because if the children are innocent of the sins of the father, they should not be punished for the rest of their lives for the heinous acts their father committed," Sabrina countered.

Tristen wanted to push the subject, but decided now was not the time. If the man passed his joining he would look him in the eye and see for himself if he was trustworthy.

"So do you know what Alistair wants to talk with you about?"

"I have no idea, but I'm sure it will be enlightening," she replied sarcastically as she stood up to get dressed.

"Brin, please be careful. I have sensed that Alistair is trying to control his anger, but any little thing could set him off," Tristen said.

"I appreciate your concern for my well being…"

Tristen stood up and pulled her into his arms. "You know full well it's a little bit more than just concern for your well being. Please promise me that you won't purposely provoke him."

A look of feigned shock spread across her face, "Who me? Why would I provoke him?"

"Because you are angry at him for betraying you and until you confront him about that, you won't have any resolution, but now is not that time, Brin. Besides, I think that while he is here at the Keep, we should let him know about me."

Now real shock registered on her face. "Do you think that's wise?"

"Your brother is right, I can't be running all over Ferelden fighting darkspawn with you, when I look like the King of Ferelden. He needs to be aware of my existence and since he is conveniently here - no time like the present."

"Your right. I plan on meeting him in my study after the joining. How about I invite him back later on for lunch, and then we can tell him together? This is going to be a lot for him to take in. He may be mad at me, but he is going to need a friendly face there when he finds out."

"I think that will be perfect." He leaned down and kissed her. "And just to set the record straight you're the only person I think about having sex with."

Sabrina passionately kissed him back, "Aaah, that's so sweet." She said coyly as she slipped out of his arms and went behind the divider to dress.

"Hey, you can't leave it like that. Who do you think about having sex with?"

"Tristen, I can't believe you would ask me such a thing." She stuck her head out from the divider and winked at him. "A lady never tells."

"Bullshit!" Tristen declared as he rounded the divider. She stood there in just her small clothes. He grabbed her around the waist and started to tickle her. She screamed as he continued tickling, "Tell me who." She was laughing so hard tears were rolling down her cheeks as she tried to squirm away from him. "Tell me, Brin."

"Y-you," she stuttered trying to catch her breath. "O-only you."

He stopped tickling her and pulled her to his chest. He brushed the hair out her face. "As it should be, my Lady," and he leaned in and claimed her lips with his.

From the balcony above the throne room Tristen stood in the shadows and watched as each of the four recruits drank from the joining chalice. All but one made it and Tristen saw the pain ripple across Sabrina's face when the female recruit collapsed and Varel declared her dead. He wanted to hold her and make that pain go away.

She took a moment to compose herself, then walked up to her new Wardens and she placed an amulet around their necks. "This amulet contains a trace of the darkspawn blood that you consumed during the ritual. These amulets serve as a constant reminder to you of the Warden's eternal vigil against the darkspawn hordes. Welcome brothers to the Wardens."

As the group slowly filed out of the room, Varel approached her and said, "I will have a pyre made for Mhairi."

"Thank you, Varel," Sabrina said then she walked over to female recruit that didn't make it and knelt down beside her. "I'm sorry, Mhairi, your sacrifice will not be forgotten and I promise from now on I will do a better job of ensuring that potential recruits will make it through the joining."

Alistair walked over to her, knelt beside her and placed his hands on her shoulders. Tristen watched as Sabrina's body tensed, but Alistair continued to rest his hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry, Bree. I know it's hard to lose someone through the joining, but it is a risk that we all take. You can't take each one so personally otherwise it will eat you up inside."

Sabrina immediately stood and Alistair followed. She turned to him, "Alistair, the day that I don't take the loss of life personally will be the day that I lose my humanity. I have to take it personally and I have to find away to evaluate potential recruits better so that the joining survival rate is higher."

Alistair smiled warmly at her, "Bree, I've seen you do the impossible so if there is anyone who can accomplish such a feat it is you."

Sabrina relaxed and smiled back at him. "Thank you, Alistair. I appreciate you saying that."

Alistair stepped closer to her and she now had to look up at him. Tristen could see the love shining in Alistair's eyes as he looked at her and Tristen just knew that this was how he was with her before the Landsmeet. "I only speak the truth, Bree. You're the most incredible woman I have ever met. I've come to expect great things from you."

Tristen kept waiting for her to step back from him, but she didn't. There was a natural rapport between the two blight companions and Sabrina looked completely at ease. "Alistair, you said you wanted to talk. If you're free now would care to join me in my study?"

"That would be wonderful," Alistair replied.

Tristen watched as the two of them walked out of the throne room together and as the panic began to rise he tried to push down.

**Author Notes- ****Once again, I want to thank the Beta Goddess RandomWittering for all of your help and insight.**

**I also wanted to give a shout out to both Jinx and RandomWittering for putting together such a wonderful forum for writers. It has been a pleasure getting to know all of the cheeky monkey over there. If you haven't visited the forum I highly recommend it. ht tp:/ /w w storm. /cm da/ index. php Remove the spaces.**


	7. Chapter 7 Crawling

**Chapter 7**

"Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real  
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, consuming/confusing  
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending, controlling/I can't seem

To find myself again, my walls are closing in  
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)  
I've felt this way before, so insecure"

_Crawling by Linkin Park_

Alistair and Sabrina walked into her study. She poured each of them a glass of wine and gestured toward the chairs.

Alistair took the wine from her, but shook his head. "If it's okay with you I would prefer to stand."

"That's fine," Sabrina said as she leaned against her desk and sipped her wine.

Alistair looked at her, took a gulp of wine and set the glass down on a table. He started to pace the room. "Here's the thing, Bree, I have been angry at you for so long that it's starting eat away at me, it's turning me into someone I hardly recognize. I don't want to be like that anymore. I can't live like that anymore."

He stopped pacing and turned to look at her. Sabrina could see the tears that he was fighting to control. "When I think about the last time we were together it actually makes me physically ill. When I think about what I did to you…"

"Alistair what do you think you did to me?"

"I forced myself on you. I practically raped you. Oh Maker," Alistair cried as he bowed his head, running his fingers through his hair.

Sabrina stepped forward and placed a reassuring hand on his arm. "Alistair, please look at me." Alistair raised his head to meet her eyes. "You are not a rapist and you didn't rape me. I was a very willing participant that day. Please don't beat yourself up about this."

"How can I not? I-I tore your clothes off of you. I left bite marks and scratches all over your body. I left you tattered and bruised."

Sabrina smiled slightly at him, "I'm pretty sure I gave as good as I got. I do remember drawing blood a couple of times."

Sabrina saw him squirm at the thought and he lowered his head again. "Bree, the broken shattered look that was in your eyes when I left has haunted me ever since."

"Alistair, that look was there before that encounter, you just didn't notice it," Sabrina said trying not to let the bitterness or anger seep into her words.

"I know and I am the one that is responsible for it. I'm the one that broke you after I had vowed to protect you, vowed to love you, and be with you for the rest of my life," he cried out as he fell on his knees before her, wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his head in her stomach. "Oh, Sabrina, I am so sorry that I deserted you. I can't live with this pain anymore, please forgive me, Bree. Your forgiveness is the only thing that might save me from this dark abyss I have fallen into."

Sabrina felt her heart break at the despair and misery that she heard in his voice. Instinctively, her arms wrapped around him as he held onto her tightly and wept. Briefly the thought flickered through her mind that in less than twenty-four hours both Theirin brothers had clung to her while they were emotionally at their breaking points.

She had never seen someone so utterly eaten up with guilt and despair. How could she deny this man, the man she had loved with everything she had in her, the absolution that he so desperately needed. "Alistair, of course I forgive you."

Alistair looked shocked as he looked up at her, "You do? You can actually forgive me for what I've done to you?"

"Yes, I can. I know that you reacted out of pain and the thought that I betrayed you."

Sabrina watched as sheer relief washed over Alistair's face. Alistair got up and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Oh Bree, thank you; thank you so much. Knowing that you can forgive me has given me hope."

As he embraced her, his hand gently and affectionately rubbed her back and Sabrina felt a tremor pass through her. She pulled out of his grasp and stepped back. "Alistair, I hope that you can forgive me too and maybe if you would let me explain myself, it will help."

Alistair nodded. Sabrina gestured again toward the chairs and this time Alistair nodded and they took a seat. "That day in the Landsmeet when Riordan approached us about putting Loghain through the joining, at first I was as angry and confused by the request as you. Riordan had been tortured by Loghain and he knew what Loghain had done at Ostagar, so why would he make such a request?" She paused as she watched Alistair clench and unclench his hands.

"Are you alright?" Sabrina asked as she nodded to his hands.

"Oh sorry, bad habit," Alistair said sheepishly and he rested his hands in his lap.

Sabrina continued. "Alistair, at the time I had no clue why he would ask such a thing, but I also knew there were a lot of Warden secrets that Duncan never had a chance to tell us and I had to trust that a senior Warden wouldn't casually ask us to conscript the murderer of his fellow Wardens without a damn good reason. And as it turned out my instincts were right."

"They usually were," Alistair said quietly.

"When we got to Redcliffe, Riordan pulled us aside and told us that when a Grey Warden kills the Archdemon, its soul seeks out our tainted blood and enters the Wardens body. Since two souls cannot inhabit the same body, the Archdemon's is destroyed completely. The downside is, so is the Warden's, killing them in the process. If anyone else kills the Archdemon, its soul will seek out closest darkspawn, making it practically invincible and the blight continues."

Sabrina saw the stunned expression on Alistair's face. He got up and started pacing the room once more. Then he paused and looked down at her, "So Riordan was trying to increase our odds of making it out alive."

"Yes, he was," Sabrina replied.

"And you had Loghain make the killing blow as a punishment?"

Sabrina looked down at her hands. Alistair had been so angry at her that he had never asked what happened on top of Fort Drakon. "No, I was prepared to make the killing blow myself…"

"But why? You had the sacrificial lamb," Alistair asked.

Sabrina was fighting back tears and losing the battle. Several tears splashed down onto her hands. Alistair knelt down in front of her and cupped her face in his hand, wiping the tears away with his thumb "Look at me, Bree and tell me why?"

She looked into his eyes and saw his own tears. He knew what she was about to say and for some reason he needed her to tell him. "Because I had nothing left to live for, my parents were gone, at the time I believed my brother to be dead and I had just lost you. Death would have brought the peace I so desperately wanted."

"Y-you were willing to sacrifice yourself to end the pain that I had caused you," Alistair said as his voice hitched.

Sabrina shook her head. "It wasn't just you. I had lost so much in such a short period of time, the heartache was just too much. On top of that tower I felt empty and broken, I thought, what a better way to end it than to do my duty to the Wardens, to my country, and to my K-king."

As her breath hitched on the last word Alistair closed his eyes as he tried to regain control of his emotions. "So what happened?"

Sabrina closed her eyes and shook her head briefly as the memory washed over her. "Alistair it was a battle like no other we had ever experienced before. It took almost everything we had, but we finally had the Archdemon wounded severely enough to have a chance at killing it, then the top of the tower was overrun with darkspawn coming to protect their master. They were everywhere and our armies were being swarmed. I was fighting four and five darkspawn at a time, but they just kept coming. Near the end, I was fighting two hurlocks and an emissary when the Archdemon started rallying behind me, its tail slicing open my side. Wynne immediately came to my aid and started healing me and as the wound began to close, I struggled to my feet with my sword in my hand ready to charge the damn beast. That's when Loghain came up behind me and took my sword. He said that I was in no condition to walk let alone lift a sword to deliver the killing blow, then he charged it, sliced it open and stabbed it in the heart. The last thing I remember was the blinding light, then the explosion. I woke up in the Palace weeks later."

Alistair pulled her head towards him and rested his forehead against hers. "I didn't know until this moment how close I came to losing you forever. I am such a foolish and stupid man, but if you will let me, I will spend the rest of my life making this grave mistake up to you."

Before she could answer, Alistair's mouth hungrily captured hers, desperately as he tried to atone for his sins. Alistair traced the trembling line between her lips with his tongue urging them apart and when they parted he slid fully into her mouth as his lips and tongue begged for forgiveness. She needed to stop him but the feel of his mouth made her head spin and the rush of all the emotions that she had suppressed came rushing back. This was her Alistair, her sweet caring Alistair, but then the thought came crashing in that he was no longer hers, he was a married man and she pulled back from him.

She tried to control her breathing so she could speak, "Alistair, please don't. Please stop."

Alistair leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Do you really want me to stop?" His tongue slid down her neck, lightly traced her collar bone from one side to the other. Oh Maker, his tongue on her was like fire lapping at her. Then his lips found her throat and kissed right above her racing pulse.

"Mmmmm, Bree, you taste as delicious as I remember." A slight moan escaped from her lips. Damn, he was making this so hard not to say yes. The feel of his lips on her body was clouding her judgment, but she put her hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him away.

"Alistair, I can't," she sighed. Three months ago she would have given anything to have Alistair beg for her forgiveness and take her in his arms, but now it was different. Everything was different, she was different, he was different and their circumstances were very different.

Alistair pulled away and looked in her eyes, "Are you saying you don't love me anymore," he whispered.

"No," she said breathlessly.

"Are you saying you don't want me?" He asked.

"No…" and his lips were on hers again this time almost roughly, his tongue parting her lips and driving into her mouth in a fiercely erotic kiss that sent flames shooting throughout her entire body. His legs wedged between hers parting her thighs while his tongue withdrew and then plunged in deep again.

She placed her hand on his chest and pushed him back. "Alistair no, I am not saying that I don't still love you or want you. What I am saying is that things are different now."

Alistair leaned back on his heels and looked at her. "I still love you, Bree and if you still love me then what is so different."

"Alistair, both of us have deeply hurt each other. Just saying you're sorry and asking for forgiveness isn't going to magically make that pain and mistrust disappear."

"I know that, but I believe we are worth the effort. We were amazing together once. We can be that way again if we are both willing to try."

Sabrina shook her head, "Alistair, you are marr…"

There was a loud urgent sounding knock at the door and Sabrina sighed as she called out, "Come in."

Varel stepped in to the room. He saw Alistair and bowed, "Your Majesty."

"Hello, Varel," Alistair replied.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Commander, but your presence is required immediately in basement of the Keep."

"I will be right there. Thank you, Varel."

Varel nodded and closed the door as he left. "Alistair, I need to go, but would you join me for lunch back here around one o'clock."

"Yes, I would enjoy that," Alistair said as he stood up and followed her out the door.

Alistair made his way back to Sabrina's study as he replayed the scene from this morning in his head. He still couldn't believe she had forgiven him and had forgiven him so easily. He had struggled with trying to come to terms with what she had done for months and she in a matter of seconds had wiped the slate clean. How could she do that? She had said that just saying sorry wasn't enough to make the pain go away and he agreed with her, but he was willing to work hard to make it work. He still loved her with all of his heart and she admitted that she still loved him. He knew she was about to bring up that he was married and he would never ask her to be his mistress, but he had only been married to Anora for four months and they had yet to consummate the marriage, and not from a lack of him trying either. Anora was just a cold hearted bitch. She said she needed time to mourn the loss of Cailan and her father, but denying your husband his marital rights was cause to request an annulment. He knew it would cause a scandal, but if he had a chance to spend the rest of his life with the woman he loved, then for that he would happily face the humiliation.

The fact that Sabrina had invited him to lunch was a promising sign that she wanted the same things he did. He knocked on her door.

The door opened and Sabrina stood there wearing very form fitting trousers and a loose blouse with her damp hair pulled back into a ponytail. He raised an eyebrow and grinned at her, "Aaah, I thought you said one o'clock."

"I did," she said as she invited him in. "I'm sorry, I am running a little bit behind. As it turns out the incident in the basement really was an emergency. There is a passageway underneath the Keep that leads directly to the Deep Roads. That is how the darkspawn breached the Keep from the inside," Sabrina said.

"You're kidding," Alistair exclaimed.

"Wish I were. Lucky for me I have a dwarf staying here from Orzammar and he said he can fix the problem. He is starting to work on it. Although it's going to cost me a pretty copper to do it," Sabrina replied.

Alistair stepped toward her, "I would be happy to offer financial assistance."

Sabrina smiled at him. "Thanks Alistair, but the rest of the country is clamoring for financial assistance from the crown in their efforts to rebuild. After our travels during the Blight we all made a small fortune. So I will use some of my own personal funds to cover the cost."

"Bree, you shouldn't have to use your own funds to rebuild a Warden Keep," Alistair protested.

"Alistair, this is now my home and the Wardens are my family. I am investing in them," Sabrina replied.

He could see her logic and didn't want to argue with her. "Okay, but if you change your mind let me know."

"I will, and I do appreciate the offer," Sabrina answered.

Alistair walked over to the table that had been set for lunch and noticed three place settings. He felt the disappointment wash over him. He was looking forward to having lunch alone with her and hopefully they could resume the conversation that they had started earlier. However, he was sure that Varel wanted to use this opportunity to discuss business with the King.

"I see there are three place settings for lunch. Is Varel joining us?"

"Aaah, no it isn't for Varel. One of the Orlesian Wardens survived the attack on the Keep because he had been sent to Denerim to escort me back. I thought it would be important for you to meet him," Sabrina replied.

"Well, I'm glad one of the Wardens from Orlais survived and I would very much like to meet him," Alistair responded.

"Yes, well he is a little upset. The Orlesian Wardens were his family, his brothers and sisters and he is still grieving their loss. I am sure you can relate to that. However, he really wanted to meet you Alistair," Sabrina said.

Alistair nodded sympathetically, "Yes, I believe we both can relate to what this man is going through."

There was a knock at the door and Sabrina smiled at him uneasily. Alistair noticed her hands shaking as she reached for the knob and he wondered why she was so nervous. She opened the door, but from where he stood he couldn't see who was there.

"Is now a good time?" He heard a male voice say with a slight Orlesian accent.

Sabrina nodded and then she turned to him. Her face almost white, she smiled and said, "Alistair, I would like you to meet Tristen."

As the tall, broad shouldered man came in to view, Alistair felt the air rush out of his chest and his head started spinning. He reached for the table to steady himself. The man walked toward him and it was like watching yourself approach a mirror. His hair was longer than his own and he had a full goatee, but the man was identical to him in every other aspect. "W-who? H-how?" He heard himself stammer.

Sabrina rushed over to him and wrapped her arm around his waist. He leaned into her for support. "Alistair, would you like to sit down?" She asked.

Alistair nodded, "Yes, I think that would be a very good idea."

The Warden approached them to offer aid, but Sabrina waved him off. Alistair sat down on the couch and looked up at the man.

"B-brothers? I take it we are brothers," Alistair muttered.

The man smiled warmly and took a seat in a chair across from him. "Yes we are brothers – identical twins, separated at birth."

Sabrina handed him a glass of water. "Thank you," Alistair said as he took the glass from her and took a sip as he tried desperately to collect his scattered thoughts.

Sabrina sat down on the sofa beside him and took his hand in hers as a show of support. He gently squeezed trying to convey his gratitude. "Why? Why separated?"

"You were the first born so Maric wanted you to remain on Ferelden soil. I went with our mother back to Orlais. I grew up spending time at the Orlais Warden Compound and at Weisshaupt," his brother explained.

"Why did you grow up amongst the Wardens?" Alistair asked.

"Our mother was a Warden," his doppelganger replied.

"Our mother was a Warden? Our mother is.. she died…"

"No she is alive," Tristen interjected. "She is at the Warden Compound in Orlais, awaiting word from me to come to Ferelden and meet you."

"You said she was a Warden," Alistair questioned.

Tristen smiled, "Yes, well that is one of the mysteries of our birth. When Maric accompanied Duncan, and our mother, Fiona, into the Deep Roads, they had been given cursed brooches that were supposed to hide their presence from darkspawn. It did do that technically, but the curse also sped up the taint in a Grey Warden to the point that they were receiving their Calling and showing visible signs of corruption within weeks maybe months instead of years. Our mother was one of the victims of this cursed brooch and was already hearing her Calling when she and Maric slept together. After they'd dealt with the plot against them and she'd removed the brooch, all of Fiona's corruption disappeared, she no longer carries the Taint.

There are many theories that Weisshaupt has come up with, but the leading one is that because the brooch was already manipulating her taint, speeding up the process and when we were conceived, we absorbed some of her taint. So when the brooch was gone, she retreated back from her Calling and it left her essentially taint free. When we were born, the taint could be detected in our blood, but it wasn't active. It didn't become active until we went through the magic ritual of the Joining."

"Wow," Sabrina said. "That's incredible. So your mother might be the only Warden to never receive her Calling."

"Yes, it would appear that way," Tristen replied.

Alistair just sat there in stunned silence. In a matter of minutes he had been given the family that he had always wanted, but right at that moment he felt completely numb. It was just too much to absorb all at once.

Alistair released Sabrina's hand and stood up, "I'm sorry, but this is a lot to take in. I need some time." And he headed out the door.

He was about half way down the corridor when he heard Sabrina call out for him. He ignored her and kept walking. He really needed to be alone to sort through all of this. She called out after him again, but he kept walking. She had left Denerim three months ago with the man. She had known for three months that he had a twin brother and she never bothered to let him know. How could she keep that from him?

She called out again, this time closer and he whirled on her, anger seething from his pores. "YOU KNEW! You knew I had a twin brother and you are just now getting around to letting me know about it?"

"Alistair, once I had things under control here I was going to travel to Denerim with Tristen to see you so that you could meet him," Sabrina said defensively.

"What about letting me know before you left Denerim with him? That might have been a great time to make the introduction," Alistair said sarcastically.

Sabrina was breathing hard from running to catch up with him and now from anger as he watched her eyes flare with ire. "I was two days outside of Denerim before I realized he wasn't you. He believed through some connection he has with you that I was in danger and he wanted to get me as far away from you as possible before he revealed who he was. I was too far away to turn back and I needed to get to Highever to see Fergus," she retorted.

"You spent two day with that man before you realized it wasn't me. Holy shit, Bree, how could you spend eighteen months with me and it take you two days to realize that the man you were traveling with wasn't me. You never really knew me at all did you?" Alistair seethed.

"Oh he's great at impersonating you Alistair. He just acted like a complete arse…very similar to how you are acting now!" She hissed then spun on her heels and marched off. Alistair watched her go and then headed back to his room.


	8. Chapter 8 Lean On Me

**Chapter 8**

"So just call on me brother, when you need a hand, we all need somebody to lean on  
I just might have a problem that you'd understand, we all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on  
For it won't be long, till I'm gonna need, somebody to lean on"

_Lean On Me by Bill Withers_

The following evening Tristen sat in the Commander's office going over paper work that Varel had just given him to handle. He looked out the window and watched the snow that was still falling as it created a fresh blanket of snow. His mind drifted back Sabrina and how things had turned out yesterday. She had always been open with him, always willing to talk about everything, but when he had tried to talk with her last night about the events of the day she had been distant and distracted. That is what he had been worried about. Things had been going so well, than Alistair came along and screwed with her head.

He didn't know what had happened in their meeting after the joining, but when they were dealing with the basement issues she seemed very preoccupied. He had heard Alistair yelling at her that she had kept this from him and it had taken everything in him to stay in the room when everything in him wanted to punch his brother for being such an incredible arse. But he knew she needed to find the strength in her to stand up to him. When she returned she was very agitated and tense. He tried to comfort her, but she didn't want to discuss it and asked to be alone. With a heavy heart, he honored her wishes and gave her time to think.

She came to him last night and let him know she had received word about one of the missing Wardens in the city of Amaranthine. The new Wardens would be going with her in the morning to investigate. Depending on how things went would determine if she spent the night in the city or come back to the Keep. Since the sun was about to set it didn't look promising that she would be back this evening and the thought of not seeing her again made him feel melancholy.

While she was gone she asked him to handle things at the Keep in her absence. He told her that he would preferring letting Varel handle the Keep so that he could go with her.

_He recalled the sad pained look that had spread across her face, "Tristen, I really need some time away from both you and Alistair. Having both you here is confusing the hell out of me. I need to sort things out without either one of you around."_

_Tristen cupped her face and pulled her close, "Brin, I completely understand and I will be waiting here for you when you return. I told you once and I meant it, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave you." He drew her to him and softly and lovingly kissed her good-bye._

_As she was heading out the door she turned and looked at him, "You should take this time to get to know your brother better." Then she blew him a kiss and headed out the door. _

Get to know his brother! He knew is brother very well, thank you very much and at this particular moment had no desire to get to know him better. So instead of listening to her recommendation he spent the bulk of the day catching up on her paper work for her.

There was a knock on the door and he yelled that it was open.

The door opened and Alistair walked in. He looked a little shocked to see Tristen there. "Aaah, I was hoping to speak to Sabrina."

"She isn't here. She went into Amaranthine to follow a lead about one of the missing Wardens," Tristen replied.

"Oh, I didn't realize she was even gone from the Keep. It must have been your taint I sensed," Alistair muttered.

"Yes, it would have been mine. She left very early this morning before most of the Keep was up. Is there something I can help you with?" Tristen asked.

Alistair ignored his question and asked one of his own, "When do you expect her back?"

"Well, since it is late in the day and she hasn't returned yet it won't be until tomorrow. Alistair, is there something I can help you with," Tristen asked again patiently.

"Well, two of my scouts just returned with a report that Dragon's Pass is covered in ice and is currently impassable. So it looks like we will be imposing on Sabrina's generous hospitality a little longer. At least another week until the roads can be traveled," Alistair replied.

"Of course, I will make the house servants aware that your stay has been extended," Tristen said. He looked at his brother and could tell he was nervous.

His heart softened towards him and he gave him a warm smile. Alistair, I know that a lot of information was given to you yesterday, and after you've had time to process it, don't hesitate to come to me if you have any questions. I want to help you adjust to this if I can."

"Actually, I do have a couple of questions, if you don't mind," Alistair said.

"Of course not, let's sit over by the fire where it's warmer," Tristen said as he got up and walked over to the fire. "Would you like a brandy?"

Alistair smiled, "Yes, that would be nice."

Tristen poured the brandies and took the chair beside Alistair in front of the fireplace. Alistair took a sip of his brandy and began to speak, "You have to understand what a shock this is for me."

"I do, Alistair. I have known about you all of my life, you just found out about me yesterday. I know this is going to take some getting used too."

Alistair chuckled. "To say the least, to find out not only that you have a brother, but a brother that is a twin and that your mother is alive it's a bit overwhelming."

Alistair took another sip of brandy before he continued. "Maric has been dead for almost seven years now. Why has neither you or our mother ever made an attempt to contact me until now?"

"You think the timing has to do with you being named the King of Ferelden?" Tristen asked.

"Well, it is a little suspicious," Alistair countered.

Tristen smiled, "Yes, I can give you that. Well, when the news of Maric's death arrived I was in the Deep Roads and our mother was at Weisshaupt. By the time the news had reached her and she'd made the necessary arrangements to return to Orlais it was almost three years after his death. In the meantime, it was about a year after his death when I arrived back at the Orlais compound. When I found out I contacted Duncan and asked what I should do, he told me to wait until Fiona came back and together we would come to Ferelden."

Alistair looked stunned. "You knew Duncan."

"Yes, I knew him most of my life. He was like a father to me and when we received word that you were being sent to the Chantry, Fiona asked him to go to Ferelden and look out for you. Which he gladly did," Tristen replied.

Alistair ran his fingers through his hair and breathed out a long sigh, "And the hits just keep on coming."

"Alistair, our mother loves you. It caused her great pain to know that her son was in Ferelden, but she couldn't go see you and be a part of your life. When she found out how you were being treated she was outraged. She wrote Maric and demanded that the treatment of his son was inexcusable and if he didn't do something about it she would. He wrote her back and told her it was none of her concern and that if she came after you he would have her arrested for treason. What a fucking joke? Have her arrested for treason because she wanted to take care of the son that he wouldn't even acknowledge." Tristen paused and shook his head. "Just because she couldn't be a physical presence in your life she did try to look out for you as best as she could."

Alistair nodded. "I can see that and I appreciate that. Please tell me, what is she like?"

Tristen's face light up and tender smile spread across his face. "She is wonderful – she is kind and compassionate, yet so strong and unwavering in her convictions. She is beautiful and very funny. She manipulates the veil like it's her own personal cloak"

"She's a mage," Alistair asked.

Tristen narrowed his eyes as he looked at his brother, "Yes, she is an elven mage. Is that a problem?"

Alistair thought about it for a moment and then a wicked grin spread across his face as he started to laugh. "No, not at all, it's just I think the Landsmeet would shit themselves if they knew my mother was an elven mage. I don't know which they would struggle with more, keeping a Theirin on the throne or removing me because I have magic and elven blood."

Tristen chuckled, "Yes, I do believe that would be an interesting Landsmeet to witness as they confronted their prejudices and weighed them against the importance of the Theirin blood line.

The fact that you were trained as a templar and she is a mage, that's not a problem?" Tristen asked.

"I never took my vows as a templar, but even if I had it would not be a problem. I always believed that the treatment of mages was completely unfair. Besides, I traveled with a couple mages during the Blight and they saved my life on numerous occasions," Alistair said.

"Well, that's good to hear. So anyways, by the time that Fiona and I were ready to travel to Ferelden, rumors of a Blight were beginning to circulate. We received word from Duncan to hold off on coming here until he could determine whether or not there was a real crisis to be concerned about. Then about three months before Ostagar we received word to send Wardens to aid Ferelden against the growing numbers of darkspawn. Both Fiona and I were among the Wardens that were turned away at the border by Loghain's men, which frustrated her to no end and she swore she would have Loghain's balls hanging from her staff," Tristen chortled.

Alistair started to laugh, "Would have loved to have seen that."

"I'm with you on that one brother," Tristen chuckled.

"Brother…" Alistair muttered.

"I know. It's weird. Even though I have known about you all of my life it's strange sitting here drinking brandy and laughing with you."

"Well, it good to know that I am not the only one here that feels that way," Alistair said. He paused for a moment before continuing, "So I'm glad that she wasn't part of the Orlais Wardens that were here at the Keep, but why wasn't she here?"

"Well, that would be my doing. It was one thing for her to cross the border and fight against the Blight when she thought she was coming to her son and her close friend's aid – that was something that was worth the risk. However once we were allowed back into Ferelden, we didn't know what we would find when we go here and I didn't want her to be overly exposed to the taint. No one knows how her body would react if the taint was reintroduced back into her blood stream. I was concerned for her well being."

Alistair smiled sadly, "Well, that is what a son is for, to look out for his mother's well fare."

"And now she will both of her sons to look out for her," Tristen replied.

Alistair didn't say anything, he just nodded and remained quiet for a long moment. "I have another question if you don't mind."

"Not at all."

"Yesterday, Bree said that you have a connection with me and that you were concerned that I might hurt her, which is why you were so eager to get her away from Denerim. What is this connection?"

Damn it, Brin why did you have to bring that up to him? "Well, in a way I can sense your emotions and feelings. Now that you are aware that you have a twin it will probably be just a matter of time before you will begin to recognize it too."

"How does it work?"

He couldn't just tell him that they shared dreams and that 'hey every intimate feeling and memory you have ever had I have been there with you'. Talk about killing a relationship before it even had a chance to get started.

"I can't explain it, but now that you aware of me it will become very clear, I promise."

"And why did you think I would hurt Bree?"

Tristen looked at him for a long moment, "Are you telling me that your anger at her was not so powerful that times you didn't want to physically slam her up against a wall and inflict pain on her?"

Alistair looked up at him in shook and then embarrassment flickered across his face. "H-how? You know that from this connection?"

"Yes and before you did something that you would deeply regret I felt I needed to get her away from you while you worked through those emotions and strong urges," Tristen replied.

Alistair hung his head down and was quiet for a long time. Then he humbly said, "Thank you. I would not have been able to live with myself I had ever hurt her."

"I know," Tristen stated.

Alistair looked at him for a long moment, "It's nice to know that someone has your back."

Tristen smiled. "Yes it is." He got up and poured them eah some more brandy, "I hope Sabrina won't be to upset that we drank the brandy that Fergus gave her as a parting gift."

"Oh she will be very upset. That woman likes her brandy. Once I had to wrestle her off of Oghren to keep her from chocking him because he _accidently_ found a bottle of antivian brandy in her backpack and drank it all. For a tiny thing she packs a surprising wallop," Alistair chuckled.

Tristen laughed, "She punched you?"

"Yeah, she told me to mind my own business and that damn dwarf deserved to die if he was going to steal from her backpack," Alistair grinned.

Tristen started laugh even harder. "The damn dwarf deserved to die…oh that's too funny. Why did she let him become a Warden if she doesn't like him."

"Oh I didn't say she didn't like him. Actually, she found Oghren's boorish manners very entertaining and the two of them would stay up drinking around the fire late into the night….actually there were three of them, there was an assassin who would join in the merriment," Alistair recalled.

"And you didn't join them?"

"Hell no, don't get me wrong, I love brandy as much as the next guy, but I couldn't keep up the three of them. They would drink late into the night and then Bree would get up the next day and take on a dozen darkspawn like she had twelve hours of sleep. That woman's constitution amazes me. I'm sure she let Oghren join the Wardens because she missed her drinking buddy."

A loud knock came at the door and Tristen got up to answer it. "Warden Theirin, this message came for you."

"Thank you, Jacob," Tristen replied.

"Warden Theirin?" Alistair asked.

Tristen made his way back over to the fire, "Aaah, yes our mother's evil sense of humor. She was so angry at Maric for his treatment of you and of me that she purposely gave me his surname. I think since we didn't live in Fereleden and I was mostly surrounded by Wardens that it didn't matter. It was her little dig at him."

Alistair grinned, "I think I am going to like our mother."

"Oh you will, trust me." Tristen opened the message, read it and sighed.

"Is everything alright?" Alistair asked.

"Yes…no…oh hell, probably not. The message is from Sabrina. She found some information in Amaranthine that there were darkspawn spotted near Knotwood Hills. The entrance to the Kal'Hirol Deep Roads are right near there, it makes me uneasy for her to go into the Deep Roads with a bunch of new Wardens," Tristen said.

Alistair brow furrowed. "She is no new recruit. She will be fine."

"Yes, I know, but I would prefer going into the Deep Roads with more than one experienced Warden. I just wish she would have come back here so that I could have gone with her. Two experienced Wardens are better than one," Tristen replied trying to down play his concern.

"Well, she has Oghren with her, correct?" Alistair asked.

"Yes."

"Well, he is no stranger to the Deep Roads or to fighting alongside her. He was on top of Fort Drakon with her. She will be fine. I know you are new to traveling with her, but she has this an uncanny ability to bring out the best in those around her. They will be fine," Alistair said reassuringly.

The two brothers spent the rest of the evening drinking, eating and getting to know each other. Tristen was amazed at how easily and effortlessly they had fallen into a comfortable camaraderie. He always knew through their dreams that he would like Alistair, but it surprised him how much he enjoyed being with him. It saddened him a little to think of all the years that they weren't together and all the memories that would never be.

The following morning after breakfast, Tristen went out into the sparring ring to get some practice in when he noticed Alistair working out on a wooden dummy.

"Good morning, how are you feeling today?" Tristen inquired.

"I have felt better. Fergus' brandy is potent. I thought a good work out might help sweat it out," Alistair replied.

Tristen chuckled, "Great minds think alike. I had the same thought."

Both of them spent the next thirty minutes working over the practice dummies and the exercise in the cold crisp air did wonders to clear his head. He took a break to get some water and Alistair joined him.

"I see that we both use the same fighting styles," Alistair said.

Of course Tristen already knew this, but nodded in agreement.

"What do you say to a sparring match?" Alistair asked.

Tristen grinned, "You're on!"

Both men quickly selected practice armor and weapons from the armory and met back in the sparring ring. They took their time circling and getting a feel for the other, but Alistair eventually made the first move and the match was on.

They went after and matched each other blow for blow. It was almost like a synchronized dance. Tristen instinctively knew every move that Alistair was going to make and he would try to counter it, but it was as if Alistair was inside his head and was able to anticipate the next blow. They went at it for what seemed like hours and had drawn a large crowd of spectators. Both men completely exhausted called a truce and a loud cheer went up from the crowd. Without even thinking they both took a bow, then looked at each other and started to laugh

They rested against the railing, drinking water and trying to catch their breath. "Is that what you meant by a connection?" Alistair asked.

"Yeah, but even that was new to me. It was like you were inside my head and knew exactly what my next move was going to be and I could do the same to you," Tristen replied.

"It's a little strange, but very handy in a battle. I wonder…" Alistair voice trailed off.

"You wonder what?"

"How it would work if you and I were in dual match? How well we would work together against an opponent?"

Tristen grinned, "Well there is only one way to find out. I wonder which two soldiers are willing to be our guinea pigs?"

As it turned out, one of the Keep's guards and one of royal guards volunteered for the match and the four of them entered the sparring ring to face each other. As before, Alistair and Tristen could foresee each other's moves and they worked in tandem to quickly disarm their opponents.

Alistair laughed as they helped the guards to their feet. "That was awesome. I haven't fought like that with someone by my side since Bree. I thought we did a good job of reading each other, but nothing like that. That's incredible. It's like I see the move in my head before you even make it."

"That would definitely come in handy in a real battle situation," Tristen replied.

"This whole connection thing isn't too bad," Alistair said.

"You say that now, but there will come a time when it's not so great," Tristen responded.

Over the next week, as the two brothers waited for Sabrina to return, they spent a lot of time getting to know each other. Tristen already knew a lot about Alistair's upbringing, but the emotions that were conveyed when he told stories about his youth were so much more heartfelt than any dream and Tristen really enjoyed hearing about things that he had only experienced in dreams. Alistair asked a lot of questions about growing up with the Wardens, their mother, and Duncan and Tristen enjoyed tell Alistair about his childhood years.

On the eighth day, just as Tristen was about to start to seriously panic about Sabrina she rode into the Keep bright and early that morning. She had an extra companion that rode on the back of her horse with her. Tristen walked up to her horse, took the reins, handed them to the stable boy and helped the dwarf down.

Then he turned back just as Sabrina slid out of the saddle and was only inches from him. "Welcome back," he said with a grin.

She looked up at him and grinned back, "It's good to be back." She looked good and maybe the time away had helped her sort something out. He hoped so.

"So were you able to work through some things," Tristen asked tentatively.

Sabrina smiled radiantly at him, "Yes, I do believe it was a successful trip all around." And her eyes slid to the new companion.

Tristen turned to the newest companion, "Hello I'm Tristen."

"Nice to meet you I'm Sigrun."

"Sig, is going to become a Warden," Sabrina said.

"Oh, that's great. Then welcome, Sister," Tristen replied.

"Nate, could you please show Sigrun to a room in the barracks and let Varel know we will performing the joining ritual this afternoon," Sabrina commanded.

"Yes, Commander," Nate replied coldly and then headed inside with the new recruit.

"I see he is still as charming as ever," Tristen chortled.

"Oh, he will come around. He started to dethaw towards the end of the trip," Sabrina replied.

Just then the main doors to the Keep opened and Alistair stepped out. Tristen heard her breathe a sigh of frustration. "Bloody hell, why is the King still here?"

"Aaah, well Dragon's Pass is covered in ice and is too treacherous to travel. It looks like Alistair will be with us for at least another week," Tristen replied.

"That's just lovely. How have the two of you been getting along?"

"Very well, as a matter of fact." Tristen said. The horse blocked Sabrina from view and Tristen was the only one visible to Alistair as he approached them.

"Aaah, there you are, are you ready to head to the sparring…" Alistair paused as he round the horse and saw Sabrina there. His eyes light up and he smiled warmly at her. "Bree, you're back, I'm glad to you have returned safe and sound."

Tristen watched Sabrina closely for some type of reaction, but she had already reigned in her emotions and he couldn't read her.

"Alistair, I hear you will be extending your stay with us," Sabrina replied neutrally.

"Yes, I hope I am not imposing on your generosity too much," Alistair answered.

"Well, I can't very well kick the King of Ferelden out on his arse, now can I?" Sabrina chortled jovially as she smiled up at him warmly, but her eyes contradicted her words and expression. She was clearly not happy to have Alistair here for another week and both brothers knew it as they shifted uncomfortably.

She turned to head into the Keep when Varel approached her, "Commander, I am so glad you have returned and just in time for your Welcome Reception tomorrow. I was beginning to worry that you were going to miss your own party."

"My what?" She asked incredulously.

"Well, the nobles of Amaranthine want to meet their new Arlessa so while the King is here I arranged for meet and greet," Varel replied.

Sabrina looked flabbergasted. Her mouth opened, then closed as she paused to collect her thoughts. She looked back and forth between Varel, Tristen, and Alistair. "Look, I am in the middle of some damn war between feuding factions of darkspawn and you want me to stand around, sip wine and eat hors d'oeuvres with a bunch of nobles."

"On come on, Bree, you're no stranger to the political games that need to be played with the nobles. They want to meet their Arlessa and swear their loyality to you even if they are plotting your demise in the same breath," Alistair said jokingly.

"Well, you aren't too far off the mark on that one, your Majesty," Nate said he rejoined them and bowed to Alistair.

"Alistair, this is one of my new Wardens, Nathaniel Howe," Sabrina said.

Alistair shot her a side glance, but smiled at Nate. "It's a pleasure to meet you Warden."

"Nate what was that you were saying about not being far off the mark," Tristen asked.

"Well, we ran into a very friendly fellow while in the city. Goes by the name the Dark Wolf, he informed us that there is contract out on Sabrina's life," Nate replied.

Both Alistair and Tristen had the same shocked expressions on their face. Sabrina's brows furrowed as she looked at both of them, "It's kind of freaky when you both do that."

"Do what?" They both asked in unison.

This time Sabrina raised an eye brow, "That! You two have been to together for a little over a week and you are already mirroring each other's expressions and completing each other's thoughts. It's just a little freaky."

Tristen ignored her comment and asked, "So this Dark Wolf, does he know who is behind the plot?"

"No, but for fifty sovereign he can find out, which Sabrina handed over to him without hesitation. Pillaging and plundering noble's estates during the Blight must have really paid off," Nate said sarcastically.

"No, not really, just your father's estates, but then again I was just reclaiming the things that he stole from my home," Sabrina retorted sardonically. Nate just glowered at her.

"Yeah, I can see what you mean, he has really thawed out," Tristen said.

Sabrina just rolled her eyes and continued her argument, "Look Varel, my point is, I have a lot going on. If the nobles want to stay alive I need to figure out who or what the Mother and the Architect are so I can…"

"Did you say the Architect?" Tristen asked.

Sabrina nodded, "Why have you heard of him?"

"Yes, do you remember the brooches I told you about, the ones that speed up the taint?"

Again Sabrina nodded. "Well, the Architect used the brooches as part of a plot to lure Grey Wardens into the Deep Roads. From what I have heard my mother and Duncan say he is not someone to be trifled with. He is intelligent and cunning and lacks all morals to guide him in his decision. I will write and inform Fiona immediately. She will want to know that he is active again and I will see what information she can send. But we need to proceed with extreme caution," Tristen said.

"Well, since it will take some time to acquire that information I believe you will be free tomorrow evening for your Welcome Reception," Varel said.

"Varel, is right, Bree. Before you can go charging off to save the day you really need to gather more information. It won't hurt you take a day off, relax, get something to eat, socialize a little before you go gallivanting off again" Alistair chortled.

Sabrina stared at him for a long moment, "You know, you really have gone soft, Alistair."

He chuckled. "Me? Gone soft? Never! But I have learned to stop every now and then to smell the roses." Alistair smiled and winked at her. It must have been some underlying joke between them because Tristen noticed that she was trying to suppress a smile.

Sabrina finally threw her arms up in the air exasperated. "Oh for the love of Andraste's arse, fine you win. I will go to your party, Varel, but after this one no more parties until after this damn crisis is over."

Varel grinned at her, "Yes, Commander."

Tristen felt a wave of nausea come over him. He loved his brother and the more that he got to know him the more he respected and cared about him. And Maker help him, he loved Sabrina desperately. He knew how much Alistair loved her, it was almost as much as he did.

Tristen also knew that Sabrina loved them both and she was being torn apart between the two of them. Tristen knew he was better for her, that he could give her the life she wanted and he had to make her see that. He also knew that even if she was with him that Alistair would always have a piece of her that he could never touch. He would spend the rest of his life sharing her with his brother and that might just be his undoing.

**Author Notes – ****I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. The response has been awesome and I appreciate your support. I always try to respond to review posts, but if I missed someone, I apologize and please know that I am grateful for you taking the time to read and review.**

**As always I need thank my Beta Goddess, ****RandomWittering for her excellent skills of making me look good and I also want to thank her lovely assistant Jinx for her support. **

**I also wanted to give a shout out to both Jinx and RandomWittering for putting together such a wonderful forum for writers. It has been a pleasure getting to know all of the cheeky monkey over there. If you haven't visited the forum I highly recommend it. ht tp:/ /w w storm. /cm da/ index. php Remove the spaces**


	9. Chapter 9 Tonight

**This chapter has adult content. You have been warned...Enjoy! ; )**

**Chapter 9**

"Tonight I'm gonna do, everything that I want with you,

Everything that you need, everything that you want, I wanna honey, I wanna stunt with you  
From the window to the wall, Gotta give you my all  
Winter and the Summertime, when I get you on the springs, I'mma make you fall

You got that body, That make me wanna, Get up on the floor  
Just to see you dance, and love the way, you shake that ass  
Turn around, and let me see them pants  
You're stuck with me, I'm stuck with you, let's find something to do  
Please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude

But tonight I'm loving you, oh you know  
That tonight I'm loving you, oh you know"

_Tonight by Enrique Iglesias featuring Ludacris_

Tristen stood towards the back of the main hall as he watched Sabrina and Alistair graciously interact with the other nobles. She looked utterly amazing in an emerald and gold brocade dress. Her long dark tresses flowed down her back and around her face emphasizing her dazzling green eyes. Alistair had his hand resting on her lower back as he guided her around the room as they socialized together and he wasn't too happy with how his brother's hand kept slipping lower.

"Don't they make a lovely couple? She would have made such an amazing Queen?" Nate said as he stood behind him.

"Amazing? Yes! Happy? No!" Tristen said dryly.

"You believe you have a good understanding of our lovely Commander, do you?" Nate asked

Tristen glanced up at the aloof man beside him. He'd had little interaction with Nate since his joining, but he had spent enough time with him to know that he had nothing to do with the Cousland massacre. He also recognized that he was very protective of Sabrina, even if he was still very angry at her.

"No one ever truly and completely understands another human being, but I do believe to be au fait with the finer points of who she is," Tristen said.

Nate chuckled, "You are a very poised and controlled person; very much unlike your brother."

"You have been in the Free Marches for years, what do you think you know about my brother?"

"He wears his heart on his sleeve. Just look at him, the way he looks at Bean, he is practically carrying a sign declaring his love for her. While you on the other hand are much more self possessed. I can tell you are in love with her just by the way that you look at her, but you have mastered control of your feelings." Nate stated matter-of-factly.

"Is there a point to all of this, Nate?" Tristen asked.

"Yes. If you hurt her in anyway, not only will you answer to Fergus, but you will answer to me too."

Tristen glared up at the man, "Are you in love with her too, Nate?"

Nate smiled, "I have known Bean all my life and yes, there was I time that I thought I loved her. But Sabrina and I discovered that we make better friends then lovers. So to answer your question, yes I love her, but no I am not in love with her."

"So have you put aside your malice towards her then?"

"That is between Bean and myself," Nate retorted before he moved on to join the other Wardens.

Tristen chuckled as he shook his head. For as long as he lived he believed that man would remain a mystery to him.

He noticed Sabrina and Alistair as they started towards him, Tristen grabbed a glass of wine from a tray that passed by and began to move in the opposite direction when he heard Alistair call out, "Tristen, there you are. Would you come over here for a moment?"

"And you thought you nearly escaped didn't ya? You're going to have to move quicker than that," Anders chortled from behind him.

Tristen swore under his breath and turned toward his approaching brother, "Tristen, I wish I had found you earlier. I wanted to introduce you to some of the nobles. You will meet most of them at your official Court debut when we announce you as heir to the throne…"

"What? When you announce me as what?" Tristen exclaimed.

Alistair chuckled, "Well, you are my brother, if something were to happen to me before I had an heir you would be my successor. Anyway, I wanted to introduce you to some of the nobles here as kind of a dry run."

Tristen must have looked as white as a ghost, "I can't be an heir to the throne…I'm a Grey Warden."

Alistair laughed again, "Yeah, I tried that excuse too, it didn't work out so well."

Tristen noticed Sabrina tense and he knew she was biting back a bitter retort. She smiled at Tristen and said, "Welcome to what I like to call my own personal hell, Alistair is your friendly tour guide."

Just then Oghren stumbled up to her, _"_Hey, you. You there. You." He muttered before he let out a very loud belch.

"Oh that's lovely," Alistair groaned.

"That's Commander Hey You, by the way," Sabrina chuckled.

"I noticed that the pike twirler let your mug run dry. I'm pretty sure that's a crime somewhere. So here ya go." And Oghren pushed a mug of ale into her hand just as the band began to play.

"Oooo, there's music. Maybe I can break out my happy dance," Oghren chortled as he stumbled away again.

"Maker help us if that happens. That will certainly scare away all the nobles," Alistair grunted.

"And that's a bad thing?" Sabrina questioned and Alistair shot her frustrated look.

"Since becoming King you've become quite the tight arse, Alistair." Sabrina said dryly.

"No, I have just learned how to play the game. Something that you are very good at when you want to be, Sabrina, you know how these political games work," Alistair countered.

"Just because I understand the game doesn't mean I want to join in. I have always hated court politics and avoided it at all cost," Sabrina retorted.

"Well, I'm sorry my dear, but you are going to have to suck it up. You are the Arlessa of Amaranthine and like it or not you have to be involved in the political aspects of your Arling," Alistair said as his frustration with her was beginning to creep into his voice.

Tristen could tell that Sabrina was about to lose her patience with Alistair also, so he stepped in, "Brin, would you care to dance?"

Sabrina took in a deep breath to compose herself, "Yes, that would be lovely."

He led her to the floor, pulled her into his embrace and began to lead her around the floor. "Well, things between you and Alistair seem a little strained," Tristen said.

"No, they really aren't. We were getting along fine before. I am just tired of putting on this fake smile, kissing a bunch of arse when it's probably one the people in this very room that is plotting my assassination."

"Brin look at me," Tristen said. She looked up at him with her big green eyes and he just wanted to take her back to his room and get lost in her until the sun came up.

"You know, I will not allow any harm to come to you. We will find out who is behind these threats and we will deal with it."

She smiled up at him, "Yes, I know. Now if you could just help get me out of this room before my head explodes."

Tristen thought about it for a moment then grinned. "Once I lead you towards the rear exit of the throne room I want you to push away from me, grab your stomach, cover your mouth and run out of here. I'll meet you in my room in a few minutes."

She grinned at him wickedly, "That's bloody brilliant!"

Tristen led her towards the back of the hall and she did exactly as instructed. That girl was a bard in the making. Alistair rushed over to him, "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know. One minute she was perfectly fine and the next she turned this putrid shade of green and ran out saying she was about to be sick."

"Oh, I hope she's okay. Maybe I should go check on her," Alistair said.

"That wouldn't be a good idea, Alistair. Think about it, when you're sick you just want to be left alone," Tristen replied.

Alistair nodded and said, "Yes, you're right. I'll check on her in the morning."

They were approached by Bann Something-or-other and as soon as Alistair was sufficiently distracted Tristen slipped away. He stopped at the bar grabbed a bottle of wine, two glasses and snuck out the back door.

When he entered his room, Sabrina was already there, standing in front of the fire. She turned and smiled when he came in, "Aaah you even brought gifts with you."

Tristen raised the wine bottle, "Well, I couldn't have my Lady thirsty." He poured both of them a glass of wine and then slid up behind her handing her the glass. She leaned back against his chest and he loved the feel of her pressed against him. The scent of her jasmine perfume wafted up, overwhelming his senses and his body began to respond to his unfed need for her. He stepped back from her in order to collect himself.

"Why did you step away? I liked the heat from your body," she cooed.

"Oh Brin, are you trying to drive me crazy on purpose?"

She turned to him and smiled as she stepped forward, placing her hand on his chest. "Why? Is it working?" Her hand slid up his chest to his neck and then he felt the sweet caress of her fingertips entwining in his hair while her other hand wrapped around his waist.

He tried to step back, but she held on to him tightly. She moved in closer so that her breasts were pressed against his chest and the heat from her breath washed over his face, threatening to take him under and break his resolve. Her sweet mouth pressed against his, warm and intoxicating as her lips coerced him to open and let her in. She tasted divine as the kiss deepened, hypnotizing him and sending shivers of helpless need through him.

He was sinking fast and had to stop while he still had some control. He pulled away from the mesmerizing feel of her lips, "Brin, we have to stop."

Her eyes flickered with desire and hunger. "What if I don't want you to stop?" She sighed breathlessly against his lips.

"Brin…" was all he got out before her mouth captured his once again and parted his lips with her velvety tongue. It was an invitation too tempting to ignore and he let go of his reservations and gave into his all consuming yearning for this woman. All he could think about was her soft sweet lips, the silky, enticing scent of her skin. He was drowning in her, but it was a delicious, sensual undertow of unquenched desire that continued to pull him under.

He pulled her against him as he swept his tongue against hers in bold hungry caresses, repeating it again and again until he felt her moan against his lips. He loved her like this – all warm and soft in his arms as he pressed her into the hard contours of his body.

Her hands slid down his sides until she could grasp the bottom of his tunic and pull it over his head. She caressed his bare chest with her fingers, "Beautiful, you're so damn beautiful," she murmured as she planted kisses on his chest until her lips found a nipple, her teeth and tongue played with it until a moan tore from his throat and she shifted her attention to the other. She flicked the tip of her tongue over the hard nipple before her lips closed over it and she sucked and tugged at it. The stimulation was incredible as his body shuddered under her touch.

She looked up at him and smiled, "Do you like the feel of that?"

"Oh Maker, yes" Tristen moaned.

"Then imagine what it will feel like when I take you completely in my mouth," she purred.

Tristen felt himself grow even harder as he anticipated her warm velvety lips enclosed around him. She feathered kisses down his stomach as her mouth did delicious things to his body, his mind was having trouble concentrating on anything except the feel of her lips. She knelt and pulled both his trousers and small clothes down in one swift move, freeing him at last.

She smiled up at him and he could feel her hot breath on his erection, causing his eagerness to feel her mouth around him to increase almost painfully. She took him in her hand as she licked along the head of his member –a slow exploration that forced the air out of his lungs.

A loud groan ripped out of his throat when her mouth engulfed him and she began her sensual foray as she took him deep into her throat. His hips began to move involuntarily and he fought to let her take charge of the rhythm and pace. Her warm silky mouth and twisting tongue sent tremor after tremor of pleasure through his body and he didn't know how much longer he could stand it. She teased him to the brink of orgasm, as she sucked at him and lavished attention with her tongue. His hands entwined in her long dark tresses. His hips growing more frantic with the need to move with her as she took him deep working him over until he was so caught up in the luscious sensation of her mouth that he couldn't see straight.

"Oh Maker, Brin, I can't take any more," he moaned as he tried to pull her up, but she refused to relinquish her grasp and continued her magical strokes until he felt his body contract as the pressure built forcibly and her mouth took him over the edge, his body exploding with ecstasy, rocking him to his very core.

She swallowed his seed, licking him clean, and kissed her way back up his torso. She grinned up at him, "Well that should take the edge off, don't you think?"

He grinned back at her, "Yes, I believe it will. It will allow me to do all the delightfully sinful things I have planned for you."

"Oooo, I like the sound of that," she purred.

He spun her around, pushed her hair to the side and breathed her in as he kissed the nape of her neck, his fingers quickly undoing the laces of her dress. He slid the gown off her shoulders, and it fell to the floor, followed quickly by her breast band. He kissed the nape of her neck again, then her delicate shoulders down to her shoulder blades. His tongue swirled and kissed a path down the center to the small of her back. He ran his hands up and down the outer part of her legs and then caressed the inner part of her thighs before he pulled her panties down. He smiled at her flawless bottom. "Perfection," he moaned as he kissed her perfect buttocks and blazed a path back up.

He gently palmed one of her warm, soft breasts in his hand as his thumb stroked the nipple. His other hand glided down her body, following the tantalizing curves of her waist to her soft curls. She leaned back against him as his fingers slid between her folds and into her hot wet center. She moaned as his fingers tormented and slowly slid in and out of her as his thumb teasingly caressed the nub that was now hot and swollen.

She pressed into his hand trying to add more pressure. He nipped at her ear and whispered, "Do you like that?'

"Mmmm, yes," she moaned.

"You are so wet, Brin. You feel so incredible," he groaned and he pressed his already recovering member against her supple bottom. He pulled her hips back against his growing erection and rubbed against her, his hand continuing to pinch and caress her breast while the other glided in and out of her.

She moaned his name and he took great pleasure in hearing it fall from her lips. "Do you want me, Brin?"

"Oh Maker yes, Tristen yes!"

"Tell me what you want, baby. I want to hear you say it," he groaned as he pressed himself harder against her.

"I-I want," her voice quivering as she tried to control her mounting desire. "I want your l-lips and tongue on me."

He pulled his fingers out and used her juices to wet the now throbbing pearl. He stroked and caressed her, increasing the speed and pressure as she pressed against his hand. "Tell me, Brin. Where do you want my lips and tongue?"

Her desires became his desires, her wants, his wants, and her hunger only served to feed his. He found himself a slave to her pleasure and he needed to satisfy her in every way possible.

"Where, Brin?" He demanded.

"B-between my l-legs," she moaned as her body began to tremble uncontrollably and he could feel she was close, oh so close, and he wanted to feel her climax against his fingers.

He sucked and nibbled at her ear sending further chills down her body. "And what do you want my tongue and lips to do Brin?"

"Oh please Tristen, please," she cried out as she arched into him.

"Tell me and I'll give you the release you need," he growled into her ear.

"W-want you to lick and s-suck, please," she begged. Tristen pressed her harder against him, his hand rapidly gliding in and out, his thumb stroking her. His other hand pinched, tugged and pulled at her nipples, all the sensations together sending her over the edge. She cried out as her body went stiff and her inner muscles contracted around his fingers. Her head fell back against his chest as a sigh escaped her lips.

"That was only the beginning, Mon Soleil," Tristen said as he spun her around, scooped her up into his arms and laid her down on the bed.

Then his body covered hers as he kissed her tenderly, his fingers combing slowly through her hair. Oh Maker he loved this woman. His lips brushed her ear as he kissed his way down her neck to her breasts. His mouth teased and pulled at her nipples, rolling them between his teeth so tenderly as he repeatedly sucked her into his mouth, his tongue flicking and circling the orbs as she held tightly to his head, moaning and writhing under his touch.

He kissed his way down her stomach, to her navel and licked tiny exciting circles around it. He worked his way down between her legs as he kissed slowly and lovingly down one leg and back up the other. He paused at the union of her parted legs as he breathed in her delectable scent. The pink blush of her parted folds enticed him to sample the sweetness of the dew that glistened so temptingly.

His tongue flicked swiftly, sampling the sweet nectar and aromatic fragrance of her moistness. He smiled as her body arched in anticipation to his delicate touch. He kissed the lips of her womanhood tenderly at first, and his hot breath against her caused a moan to rip from the back of her throat. Then slowly, teasingly, his tongue traced the velvet contours of her moist folds as she squirmed against his lips.

Her soft low moans filled the night air as she arched upward, her fingers twisted in his blond hair as he delved ever deeper searching for those secret places. Slowly, almost reverently, his tongue brushed lightly across the swollen nub and her legs twitched about him. He closed his lips over the tiny pearl as he began to suck and tease her to fruition. He was ravenous for the taste of her and he just couldn't get enough of her. Her legs quivered as she tore at his hair with hands pulling, guiding him in the throes of her ecstasy until she cried out in sheer bliss and he drank her in, relishing in her taste and was intoxicated by her.

His need to be back inside her was now more than urgent. He settled on his knees, grabbed her by the hips and pulled her to him. She rose up to meet him and he poised at her opening before with a groan he slid just his tip inside her. He paused as he looked at her and drank in her absolute need for him, as she tried to push him further into her.

"Tristen, please," she begged. He slid another inch into her and stopped. The feel and sensation of her warm, wet center wrapped around him felt incredible. He gripped her hips and thrust into her, burying himself completely. She cried out with pleasure as she bucked against him and he slowly drew out and then slid deep again. He did this over and over again and the feel of her amazing hot center was quickly propelling him toward the point of no return. Watching her as her body quivered against his, as she was calling out his name over and over again, his body blazed with fire.

He slid his hand down between where they were joined and his fingers caressed and stroked her pearl until she cried out his name once more, her core spasming around him, tightening and releasing rhythmically as she pulled him over the edge with her, into pure ecstasy.

He collapsed against her as tried to catch his breath. He kissed the side of her neck and ran his fingers through her hair. "I love you," he whispered into her ear.

She turned to him and smiled. "I'm not ready to say that yet, but if it wasn't obvious, I want you with every fiber of my being and it's you I want to be with."

"I'll take it," and his lips claimed hers as he passionately expressed how much he loved her.

_**xxXxx**_

_Alistair watched his doppelganger watch Sabrina as she slipped out the city side gate and grab her from behind, covering her mouth with his hand. "Don't scream," he said in her ear._

_"Alistair, what are you doing here?" she hissed when he let his hand slide away from her mouth._

_"I followed you," he said. "I couldn't stay away a minute longer. I wondered when you were going to wake up and get out of there. I was starting to think I was going to have to kidnap you." _

_This is the strangest dream ever Alistair thought as he watched his hand slid down the front of her body. He watched as she gasped at him claiming one of her breasts. She turned her head as she wriggled and tried to escape him._

_"Why are you fighting me? You know you want this," he told her, his voice husky and hot in her ear._

_"You betrayed me!" she snapped._

_"I never betrayed you, Sabrina. Never! But your body betrays you even now." He watched as his hand dipped boldly down into her pants and he just knew that as his fingers slid into her, that she was slick and wet. Alistair felt himself react to the thought of her hot center. _

_"It doesn't matter. Just because I want you, doesn't mean I __**want**__ you!" She exclaimed and Alistair could tell she was angry, but he could also hear the pain in her voice and it killed him to hear such anguish there. _

_"But you do want me," he told her. _

_Alistair knew by the moan that escaped her lips that he was stroking her and his body continued to react to the scene being played out in front of him. He heard her gasp as he licked her neck, then bit her and he cringed once again at the thought of inflicting pain on her, knowing that he had done that exact same thing. _

_He watched her face contract and her body tense and he knew she had reached her climax. "You like that." It wasn't even a question. _

_Alistair watched as he lowered her onto her back and pulled her tunic abruptly over her head. In one rough quick movement he stripped her of her pants. The way he looked at her was almost predatory and he wondered if he had looked as voracious that night in the library. He prayed to the Maker that he hadn't. _

_With no foreplay, no gentle caressing, he drove into her and he watched as he thrust again and again in long slow strokes that made her squirm. He leaned on one arm, his hips thrusting his cock into her with rhythmic perfection, while his other hand grasped and kneaded a breast. It was a rough touch, lustful and erotic, but it lacked the rage that had consumed him the last time. _

_He stopped then, and she groaned in unmet need. He laughed at her—Alistair couldn't believe that he had just laughed at her!—and then pushed her legs up until he could look down at the place their bodies met. He held her thighs up as he shoved into her again and again._

_It had to be humiliating, lying there opened up that way, why would she let him treat her in such a manner. Is that what their relationship had come down to – him degrading her while she just took it. Alistair felt a piece of his heart break at that very thought._

_Alistair now watched in horror and embarrassment as he fiercely and unapologetically fucked her. _

_He thrust into her one more time, roughly, firmly, as he declared, "Mine!"_

_The scene changed - he stood in a clearing in a forest, he heard music playing in the distance and by the light of the moon he saw Sabrina pressed against a tree as he leaned into her. _

_His lips were inches from hers as he breathlessly whispered, "You haven't answered my question, Brin." _

_Brin, he never called her that. The only person he knew that called her that was…Tristen!_

_He leaned into her and whispered in her ear, "Did you tremble in the arms of those other men?" _

_He reached up, pulled the material aside exposing her breast and ran his thumb over the nipple. "Did your nipples become hard and erect at their touch? _

_He slid his hand down her side, gathering up her dress, pulling her small clothes aside and slipped his fingers into her exquisitely hot, wet center. A moan tore from her throat. "And were you dripping wet with the anticipation of their mouth on your body, the way you are dripping right now?"_

_Alistair felt his heart begin to race and his breath hitched in his throat. Oh Maker, no….no, please let this just be a dream._

_She shook her head, no. He slid his other hand up her back resting it on the nape of her neck. "Do know why that just holding you in my arms right now is sending a fire coursing through my veins?" He leaned into her thigh trying to relieve some of the pressure just so he could think. _

_This can't be him…this can't be his brother…not with her, please Maker, not with her. _

"_And do you know why just the mere thought of you makes me so unbelievably hard?" Sabrina slid her hand down and grabbed him through his pants. A hungry growl ripped from his throat as he pressed into her hand and she began to stroke him through his trousers. _

"_And do you know why for the past two months, every morning I have had to relieve the sexual frustration myself in bed before I can even be around you, just so that I can think straight?" _

_Alistair watched as she shook her head, but he also noticed that she was now shaking uncontrollably as she pressed against his hand. He leaned over and took her nipple in his mouth and sucked at it. She arched her back as the wave of pleasure crashed over her and her muscles contracted around his fingers. Her body shook from the aftershocks and he took pleasure in her pleasure. She was so beautiful when she was enraptured in the bliss of ecstasy. How many times had he watched her climax? It had delighted him that he could bring her to that point over and over again. _

_She started to reach inside his trousers, but he grabbed her hand and stopped her. "It's not because of lust, although Maker knows I want you, more than anything I've ever wanted my entire life." He paused and slid his hand around from her neck, cupped her head and forced her to look at him. "It's because I love you, Brin. I am so head over heels in love with you I can't think straight, I can't sleep and I haven't eaten a decent meal since we arrived here, even though Nan is a fantastic cook. And I know deep down, even though you are afraid to admit it, you love me too." _

_NO! She doesn't love you…she can't love you. She still loves me!_

_She looked at him for a moment, then she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his and Alistair heard a hushed moan escaped from the back of his brother's throat. Sabrina pulled away from the kiss and reached up and touched the side of his face. He covered her hand with his. "I'm not him, Sabrina. I may look like him, but I am not him." _

_Sabrina looked into his eyes for a long moment and he saw the tears beginning to well. Alistair saw for the first time the pain, anguish and sadness that was there, that had been there probably for months, but that he had decided to ignore and it tore at his soul. He was losing her…he was losing her to his twin brother. _

"_Please be patient a little longer. I'm trying," she whispered._

_Alistair watched as he pulled her to him. There was such a pure unadulterated love radiating from his eyes for her and Alistair knew there was a time that he had once had that exact same expression when he looked at her. Maker, he wanted to look at her the same way again – to have their love untouched by anger, resentment and pain. _

"_Oh baby, I know you are. I told you I would wait for you forever and I will if that's how long it takes for you to realize I would never do to you what he did."_

Alistair jolted up in his bed. That was the connection. He was in Tristen's dream…all those times throughout his life that he'd had those strange third person dreams were actually him in one of Tristen's. And a startling realization settled over him – the past few dreams that he had been in were strikingly different from other dreams. These recent dreams were just too damn detailed; his dreams were actually pulling from real life.

Alistair flew out of bed, grabbed his robe and headed for his brother's room.

**Author Notes – ****I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. The response has been awesome and I appreciate your support. I always try to respond to review posts, but if I missed someone, I apologize and please know that I am grateful for you taking the time to read and review.**

**I want to thank my Beta Goddess, ****RandomWittering for her excellent skills and for making me look good. I also want to thank her lovely assistant Jinx for her support and for beginning such a great sounding board. RandomWittering and Jinx, both of you rock!**

**I also wanted to give a shout out to both Jinx and RandomWittering for putting together such a wonderful forum for writers. It has been a pleasure getting to know all of the cheeky monkey over there. If you haven't visited the forum I highly recommend it. ht tp:/ /w w storm. /cm da/ index. php (Remove the spaces)**


	10. Chapter 10 Umbrella

**Chapter 10**

"These fancy things, will never come in between, you're part of my entity, here for infinity  
When the war has took its part, when the world has dealt its cards  
If the hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart

Because when the sun shines, we'll shine together  
Told you I'll be here forever, said I'll always be a friend  
Took an oath, I'm a stick it out till the end  
Now that it's raining more than ever, know that we'll still have each other  
You can stand under my umbrella"

_Umbrella by Rihanna_

Tristen flew out of bed. He knew Alistair was on his way and he didn't want him to find Sabrina here. That would only add fuel to the fire. He grabbed a pair of trousers and a loose fitting shirt and he started out the room. He heard his brother's voice bellow from the end of the corridor, just as he quietly closed the door.

"Now, I understand why you didn't want to explain the connection. You didn't want me to realize that all of those dreams of me and Sabrina were actually your dreams of the two of you," Alistair roared.

Tristen started down the hallway towards him. "That's not true, Alistair. I have been sharing dreams with you all my life. I've had time to adjust to it. I wanted you to come to the realization on your own so that it wouldn't be as traumatic," Tristen replied.

"Not as traumatic. Are you bloody kidding me? I just found out through a dream that my twin brother not only has been fucking the woman I love, but he is in love with her too. I would say that's pretty traumatic, wouldn't you?" Alistair retorted as he began pacing back and forth in the hallway. "How could you? You knew I loved her, how could you allow yourself to fall in love with her?"

"How could I not, Alistair? You dreamed about her every night for eighteen months. Through your dreams I saw all the amazing wonderful qualities that you saw in her, all the things that caused you to fall in love with her and it caused me to do the same."

Alistair looked at him with such a heart wrenching look, "But you are my brother. Out of respect for me, why couldn't you leave her alone?"

"I would have, Alistair. I would have loved her from afar and would have been happy for the two of you even if it meant my own heartache…"

"Then why the hell didn't you?" Alistair yelled.

"Because you tossed her aside like she never meant a damn thing to you and married another woman. I saw the agonized look in her eyes that night you broke her in the library and it tore me apart. I couldn't just stand by and watch the woman I loved be destroyed by your anger and hatred. You were slowly killing everything that was once good and special about her. I love you, brother, but I'll be damned if I'm just going to let you demolish everything that is wonderful about her."

"The first part of that dream, you treated her like a whore and you humiliated her. What makes you any better than me?"

Tristen sorrowfully looked at his brother and he slowly shook his head, "Alistair, Sabrina needed to believe that I was you in order for me to get her away from Denerim. I had to act like the monster you had become."

A horrified expression settled on Alistair's face as he started to back away from him. He shook his head in denial, as tears started to well up in his eyes, "No, no, no that's not true. I love her."

Tristen took a step towards him, "Alistair, I know you love her, but your anger and hatred corrupted that love and now it will only bring her pain."

"That's not true. She forgave me, I know she still loves me," Alistair countered.

"She does love you, Alistair. She always will. You were her first true love, but you have also brought her great pain…"

"And I will spend the rest of my life making that up to her," Alistair said defensively.

"Some decisions can't be erased just because you say you're sorry," Tristen said calmly.

"Oh and you think you can do better. You think you can love her better than me. You are nothing but a cheap copy of me. I was there first, she is only with you because you remind her of me," Alistair spat at him.

In that one single statement Alistair had tapped into his deepest fear and for the first time in this inevitable confrontation, Tristen lost his composure. "We may look the same brother, but we are completely different. Where you have failed, I will succeed, I will do what you couldn't. I will always choose her first, above all else. You chose honor, duty and vengeance first, but my duty is to her and I will never waver in that. Until I breathe my last breath she is all that matters to me."

Alistair looked stunned by his declaration and stumbled back as if he had been punched. At the end of the hall Tristen heard his door open and he shook his head in frustration as a small groan escaped his lips. He knew nothing good could come of this.

Sabrina approached them wearing one of Tristen's shirts. It was obvious where she had come from and Alistair's eyes flared with fury.

"By Oghren's hairy arse, what the hell are the two of you yelling about? You're going to wake up the entire Keep?" She hissed.

Alistair stared at her for a long time as he eyed her up and down and then a spiteful grin crossed his face. "Do you know? Did he tell you what the connection is?"

"What the bloody hell are you talking about Alistair?"

"The connection you mentioned that he and I share, did he tell you that the connection is through shared dreams?"

Tristen watched as Sabrina's face contoured into a look of complete confusion and Alistair continued to grin at her. "He and I share dreams. He can be in my dreams as an observer and I can be in his. So you see, Bree, every dream that I have ever had about you, and trust me there have been a lot, he has been there. For every intimate moment, every sexual encounter I ever dreamt of with you, he has been there to witness and observe it. He isn't connected to you on some deep level. He used my intimate knowledge to get close to you, to make you feel like he knew you so completely, to make you cry out his name in pleasure, but he only knows you because I know you so well."

Tristen turned to Sabrina, "That's not true, Brin. I may have knowledge of you because of our dreams, but I never used it to get close to you. I have always been myself with you."

"Didn't you just tell me that you fell in love with her because I fell in love with her? How do you know he really even loves you, Bree? Or is he is just feeling what I do?"

Tristen ignored Alsitair, stepped forward and placed his hands on Sabrina's shoulders. "Brin, I didn't fall in love you because Alistair did. I fell in love with you for the same reasons Alistair did. I love you for who you are, not who my brother thinks you are. Please Mon Soleil, please believe me," Tristen pleaded with her, but she pulled away from him and backed away down the hall as the tears slid down her cheeks.

"You should have told me Tristen, and then let me decide what to do with the information. Now, I don't know what to believe." She turned and ran down the hall, past his door toward her rooms.

Anger seethed in his veins as he turned back to his brother. "You selfish son of bitch!"

Alistair glared at him. "She had every right to know."

"Oh and you think that was the way to do it, right? By doing what you always do when it comes to her, by putting your wants and needs ahead of hers, inflicting more pain. You will only bring her more heartache. Alistair, I love you as a brother, but I won't apologize for loving her. I am better for her than you. I may have gained knowledge of her through you, but I understand her in ways you never will and because of that you will always fail her."

Tristen spun on his heels and headed back to his room.

**xxXxx**

Before the sun was even up the next morning Sabrina was on her way into the City of Amaranthine. It had been over two weeks since she had paid the Dark Wolf his fee for information regarding the assassins that were hired to kill her; now she either wanted the information or she would insist on a refund. More importantly she needed to get the hell away from Alistair and Tristen. She was now more confused than ever; just when she was ready to commit to Tristen and leave Alistair in the past where he belonged. She had been completely blindsided by the news that Tristen had been in all of Alistair's dreams about her – all of his intimate thoughts, desires and actions with her, Tristen had been present. She felt violated and humiliated and if she felt that way, she could only imagine how Alistair felt – to have your innermost feelings and desires on display for another to see had to be very unsettling. She didn't blame Alistair for his anger. If Tristen had just been honest with her about the nature of their connection, it wouldn't feel like such a betrayal.

"Commander, we are approaching the city," Nate said startling her. She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even realized they were nearing the city gates. She had brought Nate with her because he had heard that his sister was living in the city and he wanted to visit her. She had also brought Anders because she didn't know a damn thing about this Dark Wolf and a mage might come in handy. She had left a note for Varel, letting him know that he was in charge of the Keep and that Tristen needed to spend some time training and evaluating Sigrun. She told him she was unsure when she would return, stating that it would all depend on the information that the informant provided.

"Nate, I know that you want to go look for your sister, Anders and I will go in search of the Dark Wolf. I will secure rooms at the Crown and Lion Inn so let's plan on meeting there late this afternoon," Sabrina said.

Nate nodded and headed off toward the market. Sabrina and Anders started towards the back gate when a messenger approached them. "Commander Cousland?" The messenger questioned.

"Yes," Sabrina replied hesitatingly.

"I've been waiting for your return for days. I have a message for you." The young man handed Sabrina the note. "I am supposed to wait for a reply."

Sabrina nodded and quickly scanned the note. She handed the messenger three pieces of silver, "Please let the sender know that I will be there."

The messenger looked at the coins and grinned. "Yes Ser, and thank you."

"Good news I hope," Anders said.

Sabrina grinned, "I'm sure you will think so. The Dark Wolf wants to meet in a back room at The Randy Stag."

"Oooo, the Randy Stag, I've heard good things about that brothel. I like this informant more and more," Anders replied.

"Just remember we are there on business, not to sample the merchandise," Sabrina chortled.

"Well, they don't charge to look," Anders countered.

"You better hope not or I'm taking it out of your salary," Sabrina replied.

They made their way towards the docks. As they neared the seedier section of town the cat calls to both Sabrina and Anders became more frequent and more obscene.

"I can make their privates wither up and fall off if you want me to," Anders whispered.

Sabrina laughed. "You can do that?"

"Sure or I can just freeze them and then make them shatter," Anders offered.

"I'll keep that in mind, but I would prefer getting out of here without a fight if we can help it," Sabrina replied as she opened the door to the brothel.

She entered a dimly lit room. She waited cautiously by the door as her eyes adjusted to the low lighting. She was approached by a shapely woman in a very low cut dress that left very little to the imagination. She heard Anders groan, "Mmmm, that's nice."

"Focus," she hissed back just as the woman slid up to them and ran her hand down Anders' chest.

"Well, what do we have here? A couple looking to take a walk on the adventurous side," the woman purred.

"I was told to ask for Catrain Dubosc," Sabrina replied.

The woman's eyes narrowed as she studied Sabrina. "And who's asking?"

Sabrina hardened her stare, "None of your damn business unless your Catrain."

The woman glowered at her and then yelled over at the bartender, "Mace, tell Catrain she has a couple of visitors."

Mace nodded and headed to the back room. A few minutes later, a tall beautiful blond that was voluptuously built, walked out from the back room. She studied Sabrina and then broke out into a smile as she walked over to her. "Commander Cousland," she stated in an Orlesian accent.

Sabrina raised an eyebrow, "Yes that's me. How did you know?"

The striking blond smiled. "I was given your description and told to keep an eye out for you. My name is Catrain Dubosc, but you can call me Cat. I am the proprietor of this establishment," Cat replied as she extended her hand.

Sabrina shook it, "Nice to meet you."

"I have a room set-up in the back for you. I think you will find it very comfortable," Cat said with a smile as she eyed Anders. Sabrina looked up at Anders who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Umm thanks, but we aren't here for that type of visit," Sabrina retorted.

"What a shame? He looks like he would be a lot of fun," Cat chortled as she licked her lips.

"I was told to meet someone here. Did that person leave any instructions?" Sabrina replied trying to keep her patience in check.

"Aaah, I see the Commander is all business. You know, my lovely Warden, I can help relieve some of that tension and frustration," Cat purred as she stepped closer and ran her finger down Sabrina's arm.

Sabrina took a step back. "Thanks for the offer, but I will find a way to relieve my own tension," she replied dryly.

"That can make for very sore fingers, but suit yourself. Follow me," Cat replied as she turned to lead them down a dark hallway.

"I would prefer not to relieve my own tensions. Maybe we can work something out…ya know, as long as we are here," Anders hissed in Sabrina's ear.

"Once our business is concluded here Anders, what you do in your free time is entirely up to you. If you've got an itch that absolutely must be scratched, then go for it," Sabrina replied.

Anders grinned as he whispered, "Do you think Cat will help scratch my itch?"

Cat turned on her heels to face them. She reached out and twirled one of Sabrina's curls. "I can help with that itch, but only if the Commander is willing to join in the fun." Anders looked as delighted as a kid opening his presents during Twelfth Night Celebration.

Sabrina grinned mischievously. "As tempting as that offer is and even though it has been a deep seated desire of mine to see Anders naked, I am afraid I must decline," Sabrina stated dryly.

Anders went from jubilation to utter disappointment in a matter of seconds and Sabrina had to bite the side of her lip to keep from laughing.

Cat's lower lip protruded out in a pout, which Sabrina had to admit, was very sexy. "Our mutual friend said you would say that, but you can't blame a girl for trying."

"Our mutual friend? You mean the Dark Wolf?" Sabrina asked.

Cat hesitated at first and then said, "Yes the Dark Wolf."

She turned to a door on her right and opened it. "This is our finest room. I have brought in a cheese and meat tray along with our finest Antivan wine. The Dark Wolf was handling a different matter and he will be arriving shortly. If you should change your mind about my offer all you have to do is send me a message." Cat winked at Anders as she headed out the door.

Anders poured each of them a glass of wine, "Are you sure you don't have an itch you want scratched?"

"Anders, don't drink that wine. I don't like the feel of this and I don't trust these people," Sabrina replied.

Anders looked at Sabrina and then at the wine, "You think they might poison us."

"A good friend of mine once told me, 'There are people I know who won't hurt me. I call them corpses'. Now granted he was a little paranoid and in his line of work he had to be, but there is truth to his statement. I've learned that you can't go through life trusting people just because they say they are your ally. You must make sure people are deserving of your trust otherwise they will make a fool out of you…or worse a corpse," Sabrina replied cynically.

Anders looked at the wine and then set it back down on the table.

"That is a very wise friend you have," the Dark Wolf said as he emerged from the shadows out of the corner.

Anders jumped at the unexpected appearance of their informant, but Sabrina's sword and dagger were already drawn.

"Has anyone ever told you that it's rude to hide in corners and eavesdrop on other's personal conversations?" Sabrina questioned.

The Dark Wolf laughed, "Why yes, a good friend of mine told me that she would slit my throat and cut off my balls the next time she caught me listening in on one of her 'tête-à-tête' discussions."

"Obviously, you didn't take her warning seriously," Sabrina said as a grin began to spread across her face.

"Should I be worried?" The informant inquired.

Sabrina sheathed her weapons, "Only if you don't get your arse over here and give me a hug."

The Dark Wolf removed his helm and and a head of long blond hair cascaded down past his shoulders. Sabrina dashed into the elf's arms. "Oh Zev, you are a sight for sore eyes."

Zevran hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek, "Mia Tesoro Amica, it is good to see you again too. What gave me away?"

Sabrina pulled back from his embrace slightly and looked into his eyes, "Well, my first clue should have been meeting at a brothel, but I had my first inkling when Cat mentioned our mutual friend. Then when I saw the fine Antivan wine and the fact that only our companions knew I was the real 'Dark Wolf', it all clicked into place. Why all the cloak and dagger stuff? And why use the name, the Dark Wolf?"

"Well, when the news reached me that several nobles from here were looking to take out a contract on the Commander of Grey, I immediately came here. You had created the perfect persona for gathering information in the guise of the Dark Wolf. I didn't see a need to reinvent the wheel. So I used the Dark Wolf's reputation and spread rumors that he was working with the Crows. It's amazing how forthcoming people are with information, when you throw out the names 'Dark Wolf' and 'Crows' in the same breath," Zevran said as he kissed her forehead and then released her. He walked over, poured himself a glass of wine and took a sip.

"Aaah, I take it the wine is okay to drink or as an assassin have you built up some weird tolerance to poisons," Anders said skeptically.

"Well, as a matter of fact I have built up a tolerance to several different poisons. However, this wine is poison free," Zev amused.

"Oh Zev, this is Anders, he is one of my new Wardens," Sabrina said.

"Don't you love it when she gets all possessive? I particularly enjoyed it when she called me, 'my assassin'. It really is a turn on, bella mia. It gets the blood flowing to all the right parts, am I not right Anders?" Zevran cooed as he winked at Anders.

For the first time ever, Sabrina watched as Anders turned a deep red and become slightly flustered.

He reached for his wine and took a huge gulp, "I hadn't really noticed."

Zev eyed Anders knowingly and then said, "If I heard correctly, Anders, you wish the company of the lovely Catrain. Am I correct?"

"Umm, yes, but she said that she was only available if Sabrina joined in," Anders replied softly and turned even redder.

Zev grinned, "Yes Bree, you are exactly what Cat desires in her female lovers, but Anders, I do believe Cat would be very willing to enjoy the pleasure of your company alone as a personal favor to me. Wait here a moment."

Zevran exited the room and a few minutes later returned with Cat. The lovely Madame walked over and took Anders by the hand, "Follow me, Cherie. I understand that you wish to spend some quality time getting to know me better."

"I thought you would never ask," Anders said smoothly.

"Nice recovery," Sabrina mouthed to him. Anders winked and followed Cat out the door.

"Now, don't hurry back too quickly," Zevran called out after them. Once they were gone Zev closed the door and sat beside Sabrina on the sofa. "I thought Cat could keep him occupied while we caught up."

"Good thinking. I've never seen him so ill at ease before. He is normally very charming and quick witted," Sabrina replied.

"Aaah, those are the effects that a beautiful woman can have on a man," Zevran stated.

"I know that Anders liked Cat, but I didn't…"

"You misunderstand, mia amica, you are the beautiful woman that I speak of. I believe our little mage has a school boy crush on you, and the thought of you taking possession of him made him… anxious in good way," Zev said as he laughed.

Sabrina furrowed her brow, "Really? You think he has a crush on me? But I've never lead him to believe that I was even remotely interested."

"That's amore, we don't choose who we are attracted to. You know this better than anyone, love," Zevran replied.

Not wanting to discuss her love life at that particular moment Sabrina asked, "So if the Dark Wolf is now one of the Crow's personas, are you back with them?"

"Not in the sense that you mean. After the Blight Celebration I went back to Antiva. I contacted several of my Crow brothers and sisters that were heavily indebted to me, and began to work with them to bring down the top levels of Crows. Due to the instability that the current leadership had caused and to their foolish beliefs that they were untouchable, it wasn't difficult to infiltrate their lives and destroy them. Within six weeks I had cleaned house and set-up those that had assisted me, in leadership roles to run the Crows, and except for a select few no one knows I am alive. However, through those I placed into power, I am still able to use my Crow connections without being a part of them. So you see, Mia tesoro amica, I am all yours," Zev replied as he gave her one of his sexy grins.

Sabrina grinned back at him, "Well, I would be honored to have "_my assassin" _back with me. So was the Dark Wolf able to find out any information on who wishes me dead."

"Why of course and I have already dealt with the conspirators myself so no need to worry your pretty little head about that," Zev replied.

"Well, I'm most appreciative. I think I could get used to having the Dark Wolf on my side," Sabrina said.

"Oh and how appreciative are you?"

Sabrina smacked his arm, "Not that appreciative."

Zev slid his hand under her chin and raised her head so that she had to look him in the eye, "Mia amica, you still look very sad. I truly hope that you aren't still yearning for that pompous fool of a King."

Sabrina let out a sigh, poured both of them a large glass of wine and then told him the whole sordid tale.

When she had finished, Zev let out a low whistle, "Wow, my pet, you really know how to pick them. I can't believe that there is not just one arrogant self centered bastard out there, but two that are identical."

"Tristen isn't arrogant or self centered," Sabrina said defensively before she could stop herself.

Zev raised an eyebrow, "Oh really and you say you're not in love with him. Hmmm, you know that to deceive yourself can be pretty devastating and dangerous."

"I'm not deceiving my…"

Zev put his fingers up to her lips, "You don't have to admit anything to me, bella mia, but you need to be honest with yourself even if the possibilities scare you to death. You can't deal with any of this until you confront your emotions openly and honestly."

"When did you become so wise?"

Zev put his arm around her and drew her to him. "I had a very astute tutor. So do we head back to the Keep from here?"

"I guess," Sabrina said as she pouted a little.

"You don't want to head back to the Keep?" Zev asked.

"Not really, I'm not ready to face the Theirin brothers."

"Well, I hear that Highever is less than a day's ride from here and I've heard so much about this great Teyrn that lives there," Zev replied suggestively.

"But I'm in the middle of this investigation into these strange darkspawn activities," Sabrina sighed.

"Well, I did also hear that there was a darkspawn attack near Highever. We could head there to investigate," Zev stated.

"Well…if there was a darkspawn attack near Highever it would only be proper for me to investigate, since he is the highest ranking noble except for Alistair," Sabrina summarized.

"I do believe that we have reached a decision," Zev said. "Highever, ready or not, here we come!"

Author's notes – The quote that Sabrina referenced - "There are people I know who won't hurt me. I call them corpses" was by Randy K. "ht tp:/ww ions / quot es/Randy_K._Milholland/"Milholland

* Mia Tesoro Amica is Italian for my treasured friend -roughly translated.

* bella mia is Italian for my beautiful one

*I also want to thank Goddess Beta One – RandomWittering and Goddess Beta Two –Jinx1983 for their sextacular beta-ing skills. You girls rock!


	11. Chapter 11 Firework

**Chapter 11**

"You don't have to feel like a waste of space, you're original, cannot be replaced  
If you only knew what the future holds, after a hurricane comes a rainbow  
Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed,

So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road  
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow, and when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine, just own the night like the 4th of July  
'Cause baby you're a firework, come on, show 'em what you're worth  
Make 'em go, oh, as you shoot across the sky  
Baby, you're a firework, come on, let your colors burst

Make 'em go, oh, you're gonna leave 'em falling down"

_Firework by Katy Perry_

The following day Sabrina sent Nate and Anders back to the Keep to inform Tristen and Varel that they were going to head to Highever to investigate a darkspawn attack. Nate was not happy to hear that Zevran was an assassin and voiced his concerns about her traveling with him. Zev retaliated by making some smart arse comment about letting her travel in the company of a Howe and Anders had to freeze both of them to keep things from coming to blows.

The two groups went their separate ways, Sabrina and Zev rode hard all day and entered through the gates of Highever Castle just as the sun was about to set. She had just handed the stable boy her reins when Fergus came rushing out through the main entrance. "The guards alerted me to your arrival. What is going on?"

Just the sight of her brother brought all the memories of the wonderful time she and Tristen had spent here flooding back, then all the pain she had been suppressing the past couple of days overwhelmed her. Before she could even stop them, the tears began to fall.

Fergus pulled her to him and hugged her tightly as she cried in her big brother's arms. He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead, "Whatever has happened it's going to be alright, Beanie. You're home and we will work through this together. Okay?"

Sabrina nodded mutely. Fergus looked over her shoulder at Zevran. He released one arm and extended it toward Zevran, "Thank you for bringing her home safely. I'm Fergus Cousland."

Zev shook Fergus' hand as Sabrina wiped the tears from her cheeks and said, "Oh, I'm sorry for not introducing you. Fergus this is Zevran, one of my companions from my travels."

"Aaah, from the descriptions that Bean has given me, you must be the assassin," Fergus said jovially.

Zev smiled, "Yes, that about sums it up."

"It is a pleasure to meet you. I have heard all about her companions so it's nice to put a face with a name," Fergus said as he led them inside the main hall.

He motioned for a servant to take their bags and to send for Lena. He had just sat her down and handed her a glass of water when Lena came rushing into the room.

"What's this I hear, my Lady is here and in a fragile state?" Lena took one look at Sabrina, swiftly hurried to her side and put her arm around her. "Oh child, that's a look of anguish only a man can inflict. You come with Old Lena, we'll draw you a nice hot bath to soak in and a big glass of brandy."

"Bean, after your bath I would be honored if you and Zevran would join me in my study for dinner," Fergus said.

Sabrina nodded as her hand maiden led her off to her rooms. Lena happily spent the next two hours pampering and tending to her needs. As Sabrina soaked in the tub she allowed herself to think about the whole incident for the first time since it happened. She replayed the scene from the hall in her mind. Alistair looked so…so hurt and stunned and very spiteful as he spat the words out at her.

"_Every intimate moment, every sexual encounter I have ever dreamed about with you, he has been there to witness and observe it. He isn't connected to you on some deep level. He knows you because I know you. He used my intimate knowledge to get close to you, to make you feel like he knew you so completely, to make you cry out his name in pleasure."_

As the words ran through her mind her hands began to tremble again as Tristen's pleading face came into focus.

"_Brin, I didn't fall in love with you because Alistair did. I fell in love with you for the same reasons Alistair did. I love you for who you are, not who my brother thinks you are. Please Mon Soleil, please believe me."_

As much as she wanted to believe him, Alistair had done a fine job of planting the seeds doubt in her head. How was she supposed to trust him? If he'd shared all of Alistair's intimate dreams, how could he not use that information to his advantage? If he wanted her all to himself why wouldn't he use that information? She would have. So was that necessarily a bad thing?

And poor Alistair. Even if he hadn't learned from Tristen's dreams that they were sleeping together, he most certainly knew now after seeing her in Tristen's shirt outside his bedroom. That wasn't very discrete or kind of her, especially when Alistair was trying so hard to make things right. She wasn't even thinking when she stepped out of Tristen's room. She just wanted to shut them up before they woke the entire Keep. They had been in the midst of a very heated argument when she had opened the door. She'd caught the last thing that Tristen had said to Alistair, 'Until I breathe my last breath, she is all that matters to me.'

That phrase made her smile, her stomach flip and made her heart flutter. Her mind drifted to the incredible time that she'd had with Tristen before it had all gone so completely wrong. The way his hands, lips and tongue felt on her skin drove her crazy and the way her body responded to his touch was like nothing she had ever experienced with anyone. He had stirred her down to her very soul.

She had come back from Kal'Hirol with a clear head. Alistair was married, he'd made his choice and he was now a part of her past. She was ready to commit to Tristen. He made her feel good about herself, he made her laugh and he always challenged her, but now she just wasn't sure. He'd purposely deceived her. He'd had months to tell her about the connection. He could have softened the blow by telling her about it in his own words. Why hide it? It just made him look guilty of something.

She got out of the tub, quickly got dressed and headed for Fergus' study. She was half way down the hall when she heard her brother's boisterous laugh. _Oh no, if Zevran is in there with him that can't be good. _

As she entered the room she caught the tail end of Zev's story, "So by now, Oghren has passed out and Bree is three sheets to the wind when this rogue ogre comes charging into camp. As it stormed up to the fire it knocked over Bree's bottle of brandy and spilled all of its contents. Bree got so angry she strolled right up to ogre and said, 'if you wanted a drink all you had to do was ask,' and then she throws her tankard at the damn thing's head."

"Oh Maker, I wish I could have seen that," Fergus managed to say in between bursts of laughter.

Zev chuckled as he continued the story, "The ogre was so stunned at first, he didn't move which luckily was enough time for me to get Bree out of the way, just before it brought its fist crashing down in the exact spot she had been standing. Thank the Maker Alistair was on guard duty that night because he hadn't been drinking. He came crashing through the tree line and took the ogre head on. He defeated the ogre handily and then whirled around to yell at Bree for being so drunk she'd nearly gotten herself killed, only to see Bree completely passed out on his bedroll." Both of them burst out laughing.

Sabrina strolled into the room, headed to the bar, poured herself a brandy and replied coolly, "Fergus, Zev is an unscrupulous assassin. Don't believe his web of lies. You see, there was a bad Bree, an evil Bree and I killed her."

Fergus laughed even harder, "Oh Bean, I do hope you didn't kill off the bad evil Bree because I do love her so."

"Oh she tried to put her down, but I see glimmers of her wicked side just clamoring to get out," Zev chortled.

"I came home for a little love, some sympathy and understanding, but all I'm getting is abuse. I can go back to the Keep for this kind of treatment."

"Aaaah, is my little filly feeling mistreated?" Fergus asked as he gestured for her to take a seat at the table that had been set for them.

"Little filly?" Zevran asked.

"Fergus, if you want to live through the night you won't say another word," Sabrina threatened as she sat down at the table.

"Oh, should I sleep with a dagger underneath my pillow?" Fergus teased.

"If you tell this story I would highly recommend it," Sabrina retorted.

"Oh Fergus, you can't let her meager threats dissuade you from telling this tale. If you need me to sleep in your room and keep you safe, I am more than willing to offer my services," Zevran snickered.

"I'd be careful brother before excepting his offer. You might want him to clarify exactly which one of his many services he is offering," Sabrina said mockingly.

Fergus raised an eye brow and Zevran shrugged his shoulders "I offer a wide variety of services, but for my very generous host I offer only my protection from your vindictive sister for telling what seems to be a very interesting tale."

Before Fergus could answer, the servants entered carrying the first course of their dinner. Fergus patiently waited until they had left the room before he grinned at Sabrina then turned to Zev, "Well if you are willing to face the wrath of my sister in the middle of night, I am willing to tell the tale."

Zev nodded vigorously, "Oh I have a feeling this is too good to pass up."

Sabrina just hung her head and muttered some sort of death threat. Fergus ignored her and launched into his tale. "Well, first I need to give you a little background information. There were few children around to play with when we were growing up, so both of us grew up playing with the children of the Knights of Highever, the castle guards and the regional lords and banns. These children were our friends; we played with them, trained with them and grew up with them. Most nobles would consider this beneath their stations and would never allow their children to fraternize in such a way. My father, however, encouraged these relationships for two reasons. First, there were few children around to interact with and he didn't want us to be lonely. His second reason was more calculating and cunning, but effective. He believed if we had relationships with the people paid to protect us they would be more willing to sacrifice their lives for us."

Zevran nodded soberly, "That was very wise. Some of my most difficult assignments have been when I had to confront a loyal and devoted knight. That was a very shrewd decision."

"Yes, sometimes as the leader you have to make calculated choices that may sacrifice the lives of the few, to ensure the survival of many," Fergus said.

Zevran looked at Sabrina, clasped her hand and squeezed, "Yes, I believe your sister learned that lesson well."

Fergus nodded, understanding that there are things that brothers in arms experienced during battle that remained between those that lived through them. They were all silent for a moment before Fergus continued. "So back to my story…"

"Oh you don't want to ruin this very touching moment with this very boring story," Sabrina said.

Fergus and Zevran looked at each other and nodded together. "Yes, I believe I do. So Sabrina grew up with the son of a minor lord who was sent to Highever as a squire, Roland Gilmore. They were the exact same age and in the beginning, they were just two young kids running around Highever together playing childhood games. Sabrina and Rory were inseparable and did everything together. They trained in the sparring ring together, they learned their Chantry lessons together and they took equestrian lessons together as well. But as they got older they began to notice the differences between boys and girls."

Fergus paused for dramatic effect and Zev smirked as he began to realize where this was going.

"Well, being the inspiring rider that Bean was developing into, she began to question where baby horses came from. She asked everyone who would listen, but no one would ever give her a straight answer. So one day she overheard the quartermaster saying that it was breeding season and he had the perfect filly and stallion that he was going put together. At the ripe old age of twelve I'm sure Bean didn't know what breeding meant exactly, but it definitely had her curious piqued."

Zev began to chuckle, "Oh now I am beginning to understand why you used to cry out, 'that's it baby, buck like a stallion' to Alistair in the middle of the night."

Fergus burst out laughing, but Sabrina looked absolutely horrified. "That is a big fat lie! I never said that!" She declared as she took a gulp of wine.

Fergus continued to laugh. "Oh Bean I believe you, just because I know how much this story horrifies you."

"Well, if you know how traumatizing it is, why are you telling it," Sabrina countered.

"Well, I do believe you just established why I'm retelling the story. That's what big brother's do. So anyway, Zev, you'll understand more clearly in a moment," Fergus said as he tried to get his laughter under control. "So Bean overheard the breeding schedule and had convinced Rory to sneak into an empty stall in the barn close to the paddock so that they could investigate what the quartermaster was doing with the horses."

Fergus began to laugh so hard he had to pause in his tale to catch his breath, his laughter so infectious that Zev started to laugh right along with him. Both took another sip of wine before Fergus continued. "Now up to this point, everything I just told you was information that I have managed to weasel out of Bean over the years. But what I am about to tell you, I experienced firsthand. I had come into the barn to assist the quartermaster at the request of my father and as I neared the stalls at the end, I heard Sabrina exclaim, 'Is that it? That's all you've got! Did you see the size on that stallion? I can barely even see yours'. And poor Rory retorted, 'Well, I'm not a damn horse Bean, and I don't think you would want something that big jammed up there anyway.' I look over the stall doors and there is both Sabrina and Rory with their drawers down, each staring at the others' privates completely dumbfounded."

Zev started to laugh so hard he nearly fell off his chair, "Oh Maker, that has to be the funniest story I've heard in years." He wiped the tears from his eyes. Sabrina merely rolled her eyes. Zev was the second man in a matter of months that had laughed at her brother's stories about her, at her expense.

"Well, as she got older and would go horseback riding with potential suitors, I used to joke with her beforehand that it was time to play the filly and the stallion," Fergus said as he grinned at Sabrina, who just glared back at him.

"Just you wait, Fergus Cousland, someday you will bring home a pretty filly of your own and I'm going to tell her stories that will make your toes curl and straighten your hair!" Sabrina exclaimed.

A sad smile settled on Fergus face, "I do believe you lost out on that chance, Bean."

Sabrina immediately regretted her choice of words. She was instantly kneeling in front of Fergus, she grasped his hands in hers. "I'm sorry Fergus. That was careless of me to say."

Fergus smiled at her, "It's alright, Bean. I know you didn't mean any harm in it."

She reached up and gently stroked her brother's cheek, "Someday Fergus, you will be ready to move on. You will meet the perfect girl, you will bring her home to meet your baby sister and I will destroy the perfect image she has of you by telling her all about your sordid love life."

She grinned up at her brother; he grinned back then pulled her into a big bear hug. "I hope so, Bean. I really, really do." He finally released her and she sat back in her seat.

"For being brother and sister, I must say the two of you are very open with each other about your sex lives," Zevran remarked.

"Well, as I said there were few children around for us to interact with so Bean and I spent a lot of time together. I'm sure you are well aware she doesn't act like a typical noble woman. She sparred in the ring, she studied military history and combat strategy, she hunted and fished, so I didn't grow up thinking of her as a girl or even as my sister; she was my sibling with no gender to define what was acceptable conversation and what wasn't."

"So basically you treated her as one of the boys," Zev interjected.

"Exactly, and I think it's made her so much more interesting. Don't you think?" Fergus asked with a grin.

"Oh, I completely agree. It was her dirty, deviant mind that attracted me to her in the first place. So I have you to thank for that," Zev chortled.

Fergus nodded, "Your welcome."

"Excuse me, still in the room," Sabrina muttered.

The servants brought in the second course as Fergus poured each of them another generous glass of wine. He took a sip as he studied Sabrina for a moment. "So Bean, I can't remember ever seeing you as distraught as you were when you arrived here. Tell me what happened."

So Sabrina told him all about Alistair's visit to the keep and the confusion that his presence had brought. She explained that she'd gone on an eight day mission just to get away from the two of them, so that she could clear her head and think. By the time she had returned to the Keep, she'd decided that Alistair was her past and Tristen her future. Then she explained about the connection and that Tristen had been in Alistair's dreams as an observer every time Alistair dreamed about the two of them.

"Fergus, Alistair was so spiteful when he pointed out that Tristen knows me so well only because Alistair knew me intimately. I know he was hurt and confused, but it was as if he took pleasure in delivering the news. And despite the way that it was conveyed, if it weren't true, why didn't Tristen tell me the details of the connection between them?"

Fergus thought about everything that Sabrina had just told him before he spoke. "First of all, Alistair is a complete arse…"

"Hear, hear, I'll drink to that," Zev interjected as he lifted his wine glass. Both Fergus and Sabrina chuckled as they raised their glasses to the toast.

"Alistair was only thinking of himself when he told you about the connection in such a boorish manner and yes, you deserved to know about the connection, but not like that. I don't believe that Tristen maliciously kept the secret from you, Bean. From what I've seen, I know he would never intentionally try to hurt you. Did Tristen say if he could control these dreams?"

"I didn't ask, but I got the impression that they weren't able to," Sabrina replied.

"Bean, I can only go on what I have personally witnessed and in the two months that Tristen was here, I observed a man that was in love with _you_. Not a man that was in love with the idea of you, but with you, Bean. You need to talk with Tristen about this and hear what he has to say about it, not what Alistair wanted you to know."

"Yes, well I guess that would have been the mature way to handle it," Sabrina muttered.

"You think?" Fergus questioned sarcastically and Sabrina hit his arm.

Fergus rubbed his arm, "Ouch, damn Bean, you need to remember your own strength. You know, if you think about it, it would be a very hard thing to admit to the woman that you love, that both you and your twin share intimate dreams about her that you can't control. I know your subconscious mind is the last place I would want to be Beanie," Fergus chortled.

"It's cleaner than yours," Sabrina countered.

"Bella mia, somehow I doubt that. I know your twisted mind and it's about as clean as a templar's wet dream," Zev contradicted.

Sabrina feigned shock, "Why my dear assassin, I know not what you speak of, I am as innocent as a lay sister."

"Oh and we know how innocent they are," Zevran chuckled and Sabrina joined in. Fergus not understanding the joke just looked at them blankly, so Zev and Sabrina spent the rest of the evening entertaining him with tales of their favorite chantry sister.

They had been in Highever for four days and Sabrina was starting to feel as if the fog in her head was beginning to lift. Her brother was right, that she needed to sit down with Tristen and hear his side of the story. Then she could decide where to go from there. However, until she had made a decision, she thought that it would be best to keep things between her and Tristen strictly on a professional level. She knew that would be easier said than done because Tristen had a way of making her go weak in the knees, clouding her head with his sweet words and breaking all of her resolve, but she needed to come to terms with this whole connection thing.

She would also have to talk with Alistair eventually. If the brothers shared dreams then it was only a matter of time before Tristen dreamed of her, and Alistair shared that moment, if he hadn't already. She had been hurt beyond belief by Alistair, but she didn't want to intentionally inflict pain on him. Both of them needed to find closure to their past if they were ever going to be able to move on with their futures.

On their fifth day in Highever, Zev, Fergus and Sabrina rode out to the sight of the latest darkspawn attack. Again, they found a battlefield littered with corpses. The three of them carefully collected the bodies and burned them. While watching the corpses burn, Sabrina felt the tug of the taint. She followed the pull that led her to the entrance of a cave. She drew her weapons and inched into the mouth of the cavern, the tug becoming stronger the deeper she went. Zev came up behind her and whispered, "Do you feel something?"

Sabrina nodded as the taint called her deeper and deeper and Zev drew his weapons too.

"My pet, I do not believe it's wise to venture in much further."

"I just need to get a sense how close to the surface it is. Where is Fergus?" Sabrina whispered back.

"He is watching the fire to make sure that it doesn't get out of control," Zev replied.

They were about sixty feet in from the cave entrance when the floor dropped off suddenly. Sabrina was not expecting the appearance of a ledge and she almost lost her footing. Zev grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back just as the loose rim crumbled beneath her.

"Thank you, Zev," she panted as her heart raced. "That was a close one."

"Too close for my taste," Zev said as he peered over the edge. "Well, at least the darkspawn will need to improve their climbing skills before they are making it up that cliff."

"Well, that should hold them off for a while, but I won't feel good about it until I can get back here with Dworkin Glavonak from the Keep and have him close off that opening. In the meantime, Fergus needs to send out a warning to all the locals to avoid this area for a while," Sabrina replied as they exited the cave.

By the time that they got back to the castle, Sabrina was in desperate need of a bath. She soaked in the tub for a long time, sipping her wine and lost in her thoughts. These past five days had been so relaxing. There was no tension, no walking on eggshells trying not to say the wrong thing or give off the wrong impression. Here she could just be herself and it was great having Zev back by her side. She hadn't realized just how much she had missed him until he had stepped out of the shadows at the Randy Stag.

After she finished a second glass of wine, she stepped out of the tub, dried off, got dressed and headed to Fergus' study. She found her brother relaxing by the fire reading a book. She sat in the chair opposite him. He set the book down and studied her for a long moment.

"Bean, I know the past couple of months haven't been easy," Fergus began.

"Well, more like the past couple of years," Sabrina muttered.

Fergus smiled at his sister. "I know, but these past several months you have been given a lot to deal with and you have handled it admirably. I want you to keep in mind something that Father always said. He would tell us that sometimes when all the doors close, it's the Maker's way of leading you to the perfect road that is meant just for you. Alistair made a choice that changed your life forever and in doing so he closed all of the possibilities that might have led you along with him. Bean, you have to consider that maybe Alistair wasn't your perfect path, but that he led you to the one that is right for you."

Sabrina looked at her brother for a moment before she replied, "And you think Tristen is my perfect path?"

"I can't tell you that Bean, and I wouldn't; only you can decide that for yourself. But there is a reason that Tristen came into your life when he did. You need to figure out what that reason is," Fergus replied.

Sabrina nodded and thought about what Fergus had said. Tristen had come into her life right at the perfect moment, when she thought she couldn't go on, when she thought she was about to break. Did he know that from Alistair's dreams and had come to rescue her emotionally, mentally and physically?

Fergus poured each of them a glass of wine and then sat down beside her again. "So the history between you and Zev is what exactly?"

"What do you mean?" Sabrina asked incredulously.

"You know damn well what I mean? Have you slept with him?"

"Fergus, do you really think that's any of your business?"

"Well, it may not be my business, but what kind of big brother would I be if I didn't ask?"

"A polite one for starters! How would you like it if I ran through a list of all the women I thought you'd slept with?"

"Go ahead. I'll tell you, if you tell me?" Fergus winked teasingly.

"Fine! Did you sleep with Anora?"

Fergus laughed wholeheartedly. "Ever since you caught me coming out of the larder with her, you assumed I was sleeping with her."

"Well, were you," Sabrina said with a grin.

"Not when you saw us. I was only beginning to work my charms on her at that time," Fergus replied.

"Wow, you really know how to sweep a girl off her feet by showing her the larder. I'm shocked she didn't fall on the ground and beg you to take her right there," Sabrina said sarcastically.

"Well, by the time I finally did have our lovely Queen, she was definitely begging me for it," Fergus proudly stated.

"And that happened when and where?"

"The summer after you caught us, on the Bluffs where you took Tristen, seems like that is a favorite spot for both of us," Fergus replied.

"I didn't sleep with Tristen there," Sabrina said dryly.

Fergus shrugged his shoulders. "Shame on you if you didn't, but I do know for a fact that you slept with both Nate and Rory there. Not at the same time a far as I know," Fergus chortled.

"Fergus Cousland, how the hell do you know that?" Sabrina demanded.

"I wasn't spying if that is what you are implying. When you ended things with Rory for Nate, the boy was absolutely devastated. I found him one summer afternoon in the stables very distraught. Nate had come to visit and I take it that the two of you had gone to the Bluffs for a picnic. Rory overheard where you were going and followed you there. He considered that place_ your_ spot and he was incredibly hurt that you would take another man there," Fergus said.

Sabrina's face fell. "Oh poor Rory, I never meant to hurt him. It's just that…oh Fergus, now I feel awful."

"And you should," Fergus said dryly. "He was inconsolable for two days until I introduced him to Sally Mayfield."

"You introduced him to Easy Spreadin' Sally!"

"Yep, and she made him forget all about you," Fergus gloated.

"I highly doubt that. He's lucky he didn't catch some strange disease from her."

"Now that I answered your question it's time to answer mine about Zev," Fergus stated.

Before Sabrina could answer a knock came at the door and one of the house servants came in.

"Pardon the intrusion, your Grace, but a bird messenger just delivered an urgent message for Lady Cousland."

Sabrina stood up and took the message from the servant and thanked them. She saw that the message had originated from Vigil's Keep. She quickly opened it and scanned the contents. She steadied herself by holding onto a chair as she quickly began to calculate her next move. Fergus could tell something was seriously wrong; he walked over and took the letter from her hand.

_Dear Brin,_

_Two days ago the King and his royal guards headed back to Denerim. Early this morning, one of the royal guards stumbled through the main gate of the Keep. He was barely alive, but before he died he managed to say that they had been attacked just outside of the Wending Wood by darkspawn. They killed everyone in the entourage except for Alistair, whom they dragged off. They assumed the guard was dead which is how he managed to escape and make his way back to the Keep. Brin, it's just like when the Keep was attacked – they only took the Wardens. This has to be the work of the Architect. I am taking the Wardens and heading to the Wending Wood to find my brother. _

_I truly hope that I will once again see your beautiful face, but if I don't I need you to know that I love you with every fiber of my being, and the last thing I ever wanted to do was to cause you pain. You have had enough pain to last a life time and I just wanted to bring joy back into your life. Until I breathe my last breath, you are all that matters to me, Mon Soleil._

_All of my love,_

_Tristen_

**Author Notes – ****I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. The response has been awesome and I appreciate your support. I always try to respond to review posts, but if I missed someone, I apologize and please know that I am grateful for you taking the time to read and review.**

**I also want to thank Goddess Beta One – RandomWittering and Goddess Beta Two –Jinx1983 for their fantabulous beta-ing skills, ****for your support and for being such great sounding board. ****You girls rock!**

**Last, but not least over on over on the cheeky monkey forum, ****ht tp : / /www .darkstorm .co .uk/cmda , ****Warrose and I are having a very fun, and if I do say so myself, smokin' hot duel. ****ht tp : / /www .darkstorm .co .uk/cmda ****?f=34&t=324 . Hope you can drop by. **


	12. Chapter 12 Tourniquet

**Chapter 12 **

"I tried to kill the pain, but only brought more, so much more  
I lay dying and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming am I too lost to be saved, am I too lost?

my God my tourniquet, return to me salvation  
my God my tourniquet, return to me salvation"

_Tourniquet by Evanescence _

The morning Sabrina left the keep, Tristen felt her go. It killed him to let her leave without first trying to explain everything to her, but he knew that it wouldn't do any good. She was going to need some time to sort through all of this, and he just prayed that she would realize that he never intentional betrayed her. He loved her so much it ached and all he wanted to do was to protect and shield her from any more pain. As it turned out he was now the one inflicting the pain and it crushed him.

She had been right, he should have told her about the connection and trusted that she would understand. He could have softened the blow and not made it seem like he had violated her somehow. Alistair had made sure that she now saw him in that disgraceful light and if he was honest with himself he couldn't really blame his brother. The man had just found out that he had a twin who he not only shared dreams with, but who was in love with the same woman, and was having sex with her. Yep, the man had every right to be pissed at him, but that didn't give him the right to take it out on Sabrina. Alistair had done that too much already and caused her enough pain to last a lifetime. If his brother wanted to beat the shit of him, that was fine; he would take it partly because he believed he deserved it and partly because he knew Alistair needed to release the rage that was now running rampant through him.

Alistair was his brother, blood should be thicker than water and he had meant what he'd said to him the previous night. He would have loved her from afar and would have been happy for the two of them, even if it meant his own heartache, but Alistair had made the choice to leave her, marry another and in the process nearly destroy her. Tristen was just trying to put back together the woman he loved.

Tristen needed to exert himself and work out his own pent up frustrations so he put on his practice armor, grabbed his sword and shield and headed for the training ring. As he approached the arena he let out a groan of frustration. His brother was already there warming up on a practice dummy. Tristen was about to turn around and head back into the Keep when Alistair called out, "Just the man I have been waiting for."

Tristen cursed to himself. This was not going to be good. He walked over to fence as Alistair advanced towards him. "You needed me for something Alistair?" Tristen asked coolly.

A slow, malicious grin spread across the King's face. "Yes, I thought you and I could spar together."

"Well, I was only planning getting in a quick workout before I had to tend to several Warden duties," Tristen replied calmly.

"Oh there will be plenty of time later for your Warden duties. How often to do you get to spar with your brother," Alistair retorted sourly.

"Okay, Alistair, if this is what you want," Tristen said as he climbed over the railing. As he moved into the center of the ring he noticed that Alistair wasn't wearing practice armor, but battle armor. Aah shit, Alistair definitely had been waiting for him.

The last time they had sparred together, they'd realized they could anticipate each other's moves, so now Tristen forced himself to clear his mind completely so Alistair couldn't read him. He was going to have to completely rely on instinct and try not to anticipate his brother's actions. The two large men began circling each other. Tristen thought of the first time he had seen Brin's face as she emerged from the city walls. She had taken his breath away. He knew from Alistair's dreams that she was beautiful, but those dreams were cheap imitations of the real thing. Block, swing, block, attack, parry, the sound of clashing metal rang out on the air, and Tristen ignored it as his intuition guided his hands. He really wished that he had brought his axe. That would have been more natural, but he had been training recently with the shield and sword and this took more thought which allowed Alistair to foresee some of his moves.

Alistair charged at him again and Tristen jumped to his brother's sword side, spun around and slammed his shield into Alistair's arm. Alistair stumbled slightly, but held his ground. He raised his shield and slashed at Tristen's arm and for the most part Tristen dodged the blade, but Alistair had managed to get through the practice armor and slice the upper part of his forearm. Tristen could feel warm blood begin to seep down his arm. He quickly repositioned himself, crouched into a defensive posture and they began circling each other again.

His blood ran down his arm and as droplets hit the dirt, Alistair looked at the blood, then at Tristen and grinned. "Oops, sorry about that."

Tristen just glared at him and cleared his mind once more. He thought about Sabrina riding in an open field at Highever. Her long locks flowing behind her, her sweet bottom posted high in the saddle. Block, swing, block, attack and the battle raged on.

Both men were beginning to fatigue and unfortunately for Alistair the weight of his heavier armor was now becoming a disadvantage, so he went on the offensive, looking to end the fight quickly. He caught Tristen with a blow that skimmed off of his shield and into the side of his head. Thinking he was stunned, his brother moved in with an overhead strike. Maker, Tristen thought, he was going for a killing blow. Just as Alistair brought the blade down, Tristen leapt away from the descending blade. The sword bounced off the ground and Tristen leveled a kick at the back of Alistair's knee. The leg buckled and he went down with it.

Tristen spun to face Alistair with his blade raised. "Do you really want to kill your own brother?"

"I don't have a brother," Alistair growled as he got to his feet, pointing his blade at Tristen and the two men began to circle each other again.

"Yes you do Alistair. You have wanted a family all of your life. You have wanted to feel that you belong to something, well now you are. You are a part of a family. You have a mother that loves you and believe it or not you have a brother that loves you too," Tristen reminded him.

Alistair attacked again and Tristen countered - block, swing, block, attack, parry.

"I find that very difficult to believe considering you stole the woman I love," Alistair sneered.

"Alistair, you were already married when I met Sabrina. Have you forgotten that? You're a married man and you are dueling against your brother over a woman you threw away," he retorted.

Alistair glared at him for a long time, than he threw down his weapons and removed his gauntlets. "You're right, I really don't want to kill you, but I really do want to hurt you," Alistair grunted as he raised fists.

"You have got to be kidding me," Tristen said disbelievingly.

"Nope."

"Fine, have it your way but we remove our armor first," Tristen answered. Alistair nodded and both men stripped themselves of their plate.

Warily the brothers circled each other looking for an opening. Alistair was the first to strike with a vicious left hook to Tristen's jaw. Tristen shook his head and quickly recovered, attempting to seize his brother around the waist. Alistair quickly avoided his grasps and countered with several body shots knocking the air out of Tristen's lungs. Alistair grinned as he sensed weakness. He lunged forward as Tristen retreated trying to catch his breath, but this time as Alistair advanced, Tristen staggered his brother with an uppercut to Alistair's jaw.

Alistair aimed a straight left hand at Tristen's face who ducked, grabbed Alistair's wrist and as he moved behind him, got his brother in a restraining bear hug. Tristen kicked Alistair again in the same knee he had before and Alistair cried out in pain as he dropped down to his knees. Tristen slid his arm around Alistair's neck and began to squeeze. Alistair clawed at his brother's arm.

"I could continue to choke you Alistair until you pass out, but that will give you one hell of a headache. If I release you do you yield?" Tristen felt it as Alistair nodded. He released him but then stepped out of reach, ready to counter just in case.

But Alistair didn't lunge for him. He sat down on the ground as he gasped for breath. Tristen grabbed two canteens of water, walked over and sat beside Alistair. Tristen handed him the canteen.

They sat there for a very long time in silence. Eventually, Alistair tapped Tristen's arm, "You're bleeding." he said hoarsely

Tristen looked at his arm and grunted, "I'm sure I'll live."

Alistair took his sword and cut a long strip off of his shirt. "Here let me see that," he growled as he took his brother's arm and began to clean up the wound and wrap the gash with the cloth.

"That should help with the bleeding until you can have it properly looked at," Alistair said coolly.

Tristen looked at the shirt remnant wrapped around his arm and then at his brother and began to laugh. Alistair looked at him like he had gone crazy.

"Did I hit your head harder than I thought?" Alistair questioned.

Tristen shook his head and held up his arm, "Perfect metaphor for our relationship."

Alistair quirked a grin at him then joined in the laughter. "Yep, that about sums it up."

They were quiet again for a while before Tristen spoke. "Alistair, I need you to know and understand that I did not steal Brin from you. You left her and you married someone else…"

"I am going to have my marriage annulled," Alistair declared.

Tristen looked at his brother sadly. "Brother you are grasping at straws, trying desperately to hold on to the past and to a love that no longer exists. Alistair, what you and Sabrina once had was very special…actually it was incredible. I would know, I lived some of it with you. But both of you have inflicted a tremendous amount of pain on each other. That kind of pain can be forgiven, but it can't be forgotten and it has forever changed the dynamics of your relationship with each other. The anguish that both of you are still feeling is very raw and even though both of you are trying not to hurt each other, you just can't stop because of the pain that is eating at you on the inside. It's not healthy for either one of you. Both of you need to heal and that is only going to happen with time and distance."

"And you think you can help her heal."

"I know I can," Tristen replied.

"I still love her," Alistair mumbled.

"You still love her and yet you hate her, you want to take comfort in her and you want to hurt her. Can't you see how unhealthy that is for both of you?"

Alistair bowed his head. Tristen could see his shoulders shake as he tried to stifle the sobs. "She is all I ever wanted. I never knew what love really was until I met her. She has been my everything for so long, I don't know how to go on without her. Since I've met her, all I thought about was making her my wife. I don't know how to let that go."

Tristen felt that he completely understood the pain his brother was experiencing, but he had to make him see that Sabrina was no longer a part of his future – not the one Alistair wanted her to be. Tristen needed Alistair to come to terms with it, not just because he wanted her for himself, of course he did, but also because it was in the best interest of Ferelden and the Theirin Throne.

"Alistair… brother, you have got to find a way to work through this and let her go. You are now the King of Ferelden. Even if you managed to convince the Chantry to annul your marriage and even if you managed to soothe over the ruffled feathers of the nobles without starting a civil war; what makes you think that Sabrina would agree to marry you and become Queen? Has she ever once told you that she has aspirations for the throne?"

Alistair remained quiet with his head hung down so Tristen continued gently. "I don't believe she did. She hates everything to do with court and politics. She told you she wanted to rebuild the Grey Wardens and she told you she wanted to rebuild them with you. Her path was set even before Howe killed her family. Duncan went there specifically to recruit her. She was born to command and lead, but not in a throne room playing court politics. You know this Alistair. You say you love her, if you do, then you need to put her needs and desires above your own."

"And if I walk away it works out perfectly for you. Where is your self sacrificing love?" Alistair asked bitterly.

"Alistair, I meant it when I told you that I would have loved her from afar and would have been happy for the two of you, even if it meant my own heartache. If she came running through the main gates right now and said that she chose you, even though it would cripple me with pain, I would stand aside because in the end I just want her to be happy."

"How very noble of you," Alistair said dryly.

"Don't you get it, Alistair? As Grey Wardens, we aren't in this world for long and Sabrina has already lost so much, sacrificed so much, and she has had enough heartache to last a lifetime. What time she has left I want her to be happy." Tristen got to his feet and looked down at his brother. "And if you truly love her, you would want the same thing for her too."

Tristen grabbed his gear and headed back into the Keep leaving Alistair alone to think about what he had said.

The rest of the day the brothers managed to avoid each other. However, as Tristen went over paperwork in Sabrina's study, Alistair knocked and then entered the room. Tristen looked a little surprised to see him.

"Sorry to disturb you," Alistair said.

"You're not disturbing me. What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to let you know that my scouts came back today and said that Dragon Pass is safe to travel. We will be heading back to Denerim in the morning."

Tristen nodded, "Thank you for letting me know." Tristen paused for a minute, then he stood up and walked over to his brother. "I'm glad we finally had a chance to meet, Alistair. I really do hope that at some point we can move past this. I really would like to have a relationship with my brother."

Alistair nodded and was quiet for a moment. "I have some things I need to work through, come to terms with, but I would like to see us reach that point too." Alistair ran his fingers through his hair. Tristen could tell that Alistair had something on his mind that he needed to express. He gestured toward the chairs and both men took a seat.

Alistair leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He let out a sigh, "Look, it might make it easier if there was some way to control these dreams. I don't think I can handle continually making guest appearance in yours with Sabrina. It's going to slowly drive me crazy."

"I have never been able to control them Alistair. Trust me I have tried. It's not like I wanted to hang out and watch you make love to the same woman I was in love with," Tristen replied.

"Well, now that we are both aware of the connection, maybe we can somehow change it. I mean if it's a dream, if we are aware it's a dream then why can't we put up a wall or walk out of the room," Alistair said.

"Because you are just the observer in the dream, you can't control my subconscious mind," Tristen replied.

"Well, was there ever a time that it was your dream and you were aware that I was there," Alistair asked.

Tristen thought about it for a moment and then nodded. "Not all the time, but yes there were times that I realized you were there."

"And have you ever tried to interact with me?"

"No, I thought that might upset you since you didn't know about me," Tristen replied.

"Well, the next time you're in my dream or vice-a-versa let's see if we can interact. If we can somehow learn to control this, it might make it easier."

"I completely agree," Tristen said as both men stood up. Tristen hesitated for a moment and then embraced Alistair. Alistair wavered briefly before he returned the hug.

"I know it hasn't been the easiest introduction and we definitely got off to a rocky start, but I have grown used to you being here. I am going to miss you, brother," Tristen said.

Alistair smiled as he released his brother. "I'm really glad I didn't kill you today. I would have missed you too."

Tristen laughed. "Travel safely. Our mother is coming to Ferelden in the spring and I will bring her down to Denerim."

"Good, thank you. I look forward to meeting her," Alistair replied as he turned to leave.

The following day the bell in the tower sounded, announcing that Wardens had been seen approaching the Keep. Tristen made his way down to the main hall and out into the courtyard just as Nate and Anders rode in. Sabrina was not with them. He moved swiftly to them and took their reins. "Where is the Commander?" He asked.

"Highever," Nate said.

"You let her go to Highever by herself?" Tristen demanded.

"Well, first off she's the Commander so I pretty much have to let her do what she wants, and second she isn't alone," Nate retorted.

Tristen was becoming exasperated with Nate's vague answers so he turned to Anders for an explanation.

"Well, it turns out that the Dark Wolf is actually an Antivan Crow who also happens to be one of her Blight Companions. He accompanied her to Highever," Anders stated.

Tristen recalled an elven assassin from several of Alistair's dreams. Alistair had not trusted the Crow. Not because he feared the assassin would attempt to kill her again, but because the elf was always trying to get Sabrina into bed. This didn't concern Tristen, if she was going to sleep with him, she would have done so already and according to Alistair's dreams the rogue had never been able to succeed in his attempts. What did concern him was that he had been receiving reports about attacks near Highever and he didn't like the idea of her traveling there with just one other companion, even if it was in the company of an accomplished assassin.

For the next three days, Tristen trained the Wardens, handled the paperwork and worried about Sabrina. He tried to remain calm and to be rational. He knew she had to be fine, but he hadn't seen her in five days and they hadn't parted on good terms. He just wanted to hold her, tell her how sorry he was and let her know that the last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt her.

On the morning of the fourth day as he made his way out to the sparring ring, one of the guards rushed up to him. "Warden, from the tower we saw one of the royal guardsmen stumbling down the hill. We sent a guard out to meet him. They should be arriving any minute."

"Go inform Varel and please send for Anders," Tristen said.

Nate joined him as he headed for the courtyard, "What is happening?"

Tristen briefly explained as the horse galloped into the quad. Both men rushed over and helped ease the royal guard down to the ground. The man looked like he had been through a rough battle. He had cuts and bruises all over, but what really concerned Tristen was the open wound in the man's leg. The man had tied a tourniquet around the upper part of his own leg to try and stop the flow of blood, but it hadn't done much good.

Tristen looked up at one of the guards, "Please get some water."

He turned back to the wounded man, "It's going to be okay. I have sent for a mage…"

The guard grabbed Tristan's shirt collar and pulled him close to his face, "They have him…" the man whispered in a raspy breath.

Tristen felt his heart beginning to pound, "They have who?"

"The K-king," he stammered.

A guard handed Tristen a cup of water and Tristen lifted the man's head for him to take a sip. As he held the man, he felt a warm sensation pass from the guard to him. He looked around for the source and saw Anders casting healing spell after healing spell. Anders caught his eyes and shook his head as he mouthed, "Make it quick."

Tristen knew this man was not going to make it. He turned his attention back to him, "Who has the King?"

"T-the…d-dark…spawn."

Tristen's heart was beating a mile a minute as he tried to get control of his racing thoughts.

The guard was starting to lose consciousness. Nate leaned over Tristen's shoulder and gently shook the guard. "Where? Where did this attack happen?"

The guard's eyes fluttered open just briefly, "Near…W-wending Wood." And then he lapsed into unconsciousness.

Tristen looked at Anders and the mage just shook his head sadly. "I can make him comfortable, but he won't make it through the day."

Tristen gently placed the man's head back on the ground and stood up. "Let's get him moved to a more comfortable location. Wardens, we leave for Wending Wood in two hours so pack quickly. Varel, I need you to send word to the Queen informing her of what has happened, and let her know that the Wardens are on their way. Also please let the Quartermaster to get four horses ready. I will be taking Nate and Anders with me and will send a message to the Commander to meet us there. Oghren will handle any Warden business while I am gone," Tristen commanded.

"Why four horses?" Anders asked.

"One for Alistair to return on," Tristen said over his shoulder, as he headed into the Keep.

He overheard Nate whisper, "Overly optimistic of him, don't you think?"

Tristen spun around and took a long step towards Nate so that his face was only inches from his. "Optimistic! He's my brother! We may not have the most solid relationship, but he is still my brother and I must believe he is alive. YOU had a brother Nate. I understand that he died in the final battle, but if there was even a sliver of hope that he was alive would you not grasp at it?"

Nate looked abashed as he slowly nodded his head. "Yes, I would. I'm sorry, Tristen. Your right, we will get the King back."

Once they were on the road, they rode hard all day. About an hour away from Wending Wood, Tristen decided to set-up camp for the night. He didn't think it was wise to enter the Woods at night after the reports that they had received about bandits that were robbing travelers in that vicinity. Once they had the camp ready and eaten dinner, Nate offered to take first watch. Tristen quickly fell into a restless sleep.

_Tristen stood in the corner of an unknown room. The room looked ancient with prisoner cages suspended from the ceiling. In the center of the room on a long slab of concrete, Alistair was strapped down and a tall deformed figure leaned over him drawing blood from Alistair's arm. This creature could only be the Architect. He was talking to Alistair, saying that this was the only way to stop the next Blight. Tristen heard the Architect say something about Alistair's blood being strong and in excellent condition, but it was not as strong as hers._

_Alistair screamed at the beast, "YOU CAN'T HAVE HER!"_

"_Oh but I will! She comes to me even as we speak," The Architect replied calmly."_

_"__No!" Alistair yelled at him_ _as the _darkspawnemissary_ turned to leave the chamber._

"_Arrrrgh, fuck!" Alistair cried out in frustration as he threw his head back on the table. _

_Tristen rushed over to him. "Alistair," Tristen said as he touched his brother's arm._

_Alistair didn't react to Tristen's touch. He looked up and began to struggle with the restraints that held his arms and legs in place. _

_Tristen grasped Alistair's shoulders and shook as he yelled, "Alistair!"_

_Alistair stopped struggling with the straps looked up at him in shock and then comprehension flickered in his eyes. "Tristen? You're here in my dream?"_

_Tristen nodded, "Yes, where are you?"_

"_In some type of mine in the Wending Woods. Where is Sabrina?"_

"_She is on her way. Can you tell me how to find you?" Tristen said. _

"_Don't worry about me. Keep Sabrina away from here. He wants her. He wants her tainted blood," Alistair cried out._

"_What? Why?" Tristen questioned._

"_I don't have time to explain. I feel consciousness coming. Keep her away, Tristen. Promise me," Alistair pleaded as the dream began to fade. _

Tristen woke with a start, his heart pounding, and sweat running down his brow. Oh brother, I wish I could keep that promise, but if I know her, she is already half-way here.

**Author Notes – ****I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments. **

**I also want to thank Goddess Beta One – RandomWittering and Goddess Beta Two –Jinx1983 for their fantabulous beta-ing skills, ****for your support and for being such a great sounding board. ****You ladies are the best!**


	13. Chapter 13 With A Little Luck

**Chapter 13**

"With a little luck we can help it out, we can make this whole damn thing work out.  
With a little love we can lay it down, can't you feel the town exploding?  
There is no end to what we can do together, there is no end

The willow turns his back on inclement weather,

and if he can do it, we can do it, just me and you

And a little luck we can clear it up, we can bring it in for a landing  
With a little luck we can turn it on, there can be no misunderstanding

_With A Little Luck by Paul McCartney and Wings_

Sabrina had pushed them hard the past two days, and now she and Zev were about a mile away from the entrance to Wending Woods. After reading Tristen's note, Zev and Sabrina had quickly packed and headed out that very night, much to the protests of Fergus.

"_Bean, it's too dangerous to leave in the middle of the night. Just wait a few hours and the sun will be coming up," Fergus pleaded._

"_Fergus, they have our King! I don't know how long he has, but in a few hours it may be too late. Not to mention, Tristen has already left and is probably already there. He and my Wardens are in danger too. I can't wait," Sabrina said as the stable hand boosted her into her saddle._

"_Then give me a few minutes and I will come with you," Fergus said._

"_NO! If something happens to both Alistair and Tristen you are the next logical King of Ferelden. You need to stay here and stay safe," Sabrina ordered. _

_Fergus took a step back and smiled at the authority that his baby sister exuded. She had never used the power of her position to issue him a command before. He had never been more proud of her than he was at that moment. _

"_Fine, but in the morning I am sending half a dozen of Highever's Knights to Wending Woods to assist in any way possible," Fergus insisted. _

"_Fine, but I don't want them entering the Woods. I will send them instructions if I need their aid and Fergus, they need to be alert. Darkspawn killed all the royal guards and took our King, the knights need to be vigilant," Sabrina replied. She paused for a moment then added, "And send a mage."_

_Fergus nodded. "I will let them know and I will send Regan with them," Fergus said as he grabbed her ankle to get her attention. She looked down at him. "You need to be careful too, Bean. I need you to come back."_

_Sabrina smiled down at her brother, "Don't worry, Fergus. I will be coming home again."_

They had made it to Vigil's Keep just as the sun had begun to crest over the horizon. She had stopped in order to switch out for fresh horses when Oghren found her and reported that Tristen had left early the day before. At first, Sabrina was puzzled about why Tristen hadn't taken Oghren and Sigrun with him. Then it hit her and her stomach clenched with fear. He didn't want to take every Warden in Ferelden with him just in case they didn't make it back. She turned to Oghren, "Can you and Sig be ready to leave with us in thirty minutes?"

"By my Ancestor's balls I'll make sure we are ready, Commander," Oghren bellowed. "I was worried I was going to be left out of this fight."

As they approached the entrance to the Wending Woods Sabrina noticed a man stumbling towards them. It took her a moment to realize the man was Alistair. She slid down from her horse and ran to him. He collapsed just as she reached him.

"Alistair," she cried out as she knelt down beside him and pulled him to her. She cradled his head in her lap as she looked him over for wounds, but couldn't see any.

"Alistair, where are you injured?" Sabrina asked.

Alistair looked at her with a dazed expression on his face. He reached up and touched her cheek. "Are you real?" He moaned.

"Yes, I'm real. Where are you hurt, Alistair?" She asked again.

Alistair ran his fingers through her hair, "I thought for sure I would never see your beautiful face again."

Sabrina clasped Alistair's hand in hers, trying to get him to focus. "Alistair, I need you to tell me where you are injured."

"The Architect, d-drained my blood," Alistair choked. "W-would have killed me if Tristen and the Wardens hadn't arrived."

"By the Maker, drained your blood?" Sabrina said flabbergasted. "You need iron to help replenish your blood supply. Oghren, do you still have that beef jerky?"

"Yes, Commander," Oghren said as he rummaged through his backpack and handed it to her.

She broke off tiny pieces and placed them in Alistair's mouth. "Eat this. The iron will help your body replace the blood."

"How do you know about that?" Oghren asked.

"Wynne told me about it once," Sabrina said.

"Zev, I need you to start a fire and cook up that fish we brought with us," Sabrina ordered and then turned her attention back to Alistair. "Where are Tristen and the other Wardens?"

"They found me in the Architect's laboratory and released me from the restraints. We were making our way out when the fighting started. Tristen insisted that I was in no shape to fight and told me to get the hell out of there. I stumbled out here and you found me."

"So Tristen is still in the mines?"

Alistair nodded. Sabrina looked over at Zev. "Zev, I want you and Sig to stay with Alistair until I return or until the Highever Knights arrive. Oghren you're with me."

Alistair grabbed her wrist, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going into the mines to find my wardens," Sabrina replied.

"Bree, you can't go. You're the one the Architect wants. You can't go in there," Alistair said as panic began to set in his voice.

"Alistair, I have to go. These are my wardens, I can't just stand by and do nothing," Sabrina replied.

"But you will be walking to a trap. It's your blood he wants. Bree, please you can't go. He could kill you!"

She smiled at him, "We both know the dangers that go along with the job, Alistair. If I fall there will be someone else to replace me and to continue the fight. I'm expendable…"

"NO! You're not, Bree. There is only one of you. You can't walk in there knowing it's trap to catch you," Alistair pleaded.

Sabrina smiled, leaned down and kissed Alistair's forehead. "I have to go." She pulled her riding cloak off and laid his head down on it. "I'll be back soon."

Alistair gently grabbed her wrist once again. "Please Bree, please come back. Even if we can't be together, I need to know that you are in this world."

Sabrina looked at him for a moment; something had changed in him and softened him. "I promise I will be back."

Then she stood and called for Oghren to join her and they headed into the mines.

**xxXxx**

After they had killed the dragons, Tristen, Anders, Nate and a venomous elf by the name of Velanna made their way out of the mine. They headed towards the main entrance of the woods. He was hoping to find Alistair somewhere along that road. Anders had cast several healing spells on Alistair before they sent him out of the mines, but the man needed a lot more medical attention than that.

The group entered a small clearing and Tristen noticed an elf standing by a fire cooking and Sigrun was leaning over Alistair.

Tristen made his way over to his sleeping brother and knelt down beside him.

Sigrun looked up and smiled, "Hey there, the King is resting comfortably. Sabrina suggested we cook him some fish to get iron in him, but since Anders is here, he can just heal him."

"The iron will be good for him even with the healing…"

Before he could finish his sentence the elf sauntered up and looked over both of the Theirin brothers. "By Andraste's sweet arse, that's incredible. Bree said you were identical, but you really have to see it to believe it."

Tristen stood up and extended his hand, "You must be Zevran. I'm Tristen."

Zevran shook his hand, "You can call me Zev."

"Nice to meet you, Zev, I've heard a lot about you."

"Oh really, was that from Sabrina or through Alistair's dreams? Because I wouldn't believe everything that is in that man's mind?"

Tristen raised an eyebrow. So the assassin knew about the dreams, lovely. They are obviously closer than even Alistair realized. "Well, I've learned not to believe everything that is in my brother's dreams, not mention I like to make my own decisions about people when I meet them."

Zev laughed, "I think this version is better already. Can we keep him and toss the older version away?"

"Hey, I'm awake here," Alistair grumbled.

"Oh Alistair, I didn't see you awake there," Zev chortled.

"Bullshit," Alistair retorted.

Tristen looked around the camp and didn't see her anywhere. "Where is Sabrina?"

Sigrun's smile faltered slightly, "Aaah, she isn't with you?"

"No, why would she be with me?" Tristen asked.

"She left here over a couple of hours ago to go find you," Sigrun said as her voice wavered.

Alistair's eyes flew open and he looked at Tristen, "He's got her."

Tristen felt the panic begin to rise up, but he pushed it down. He needed a clear head to formulate a plan. "Did Oghren go with her?" Sigrun nodded. "And that was it? Why didn't you go in with her Sig?"

"Because she insisted that the two of us stay here to guard the King," Sigrun said defensively. "And you know how she is once she sets her mind to something. There was no stopping her."

"That's what happens when you think with what's between your legs," Zev said dryly.

Tristen ignored the assassin's comments. "Okay, I need fresh men with me so Sig and Zev, you're with me. Anders you stay here and continue to heal the king. Nate I want you to keep guard and keep an eye out for the elf." Nate gave a curt nodded.

Zev stepped forward and added, "There should be about half a dozen Knights from Highever on their way here."

"That's good to know. We may need them." Tristen said as he turned to Sig and Zev, "Let's go."

Once again, Tristen made his way through the mines, however this time he was not in fear for himself, but for Brin. The Architect desperately wanted her blood. He had nearly drained Alistair and he didn't know what he would do to her. The thought terrified him and he picked up his pace as he worked his way through the tunnels. He came across the prison cells that they had been in earlier and saw Oghren lying on the floor. Zev made quick work of the locks and the cell door swung open. Tristen bent down and examined the dwarf. "He's alive. I wish I had some smelling salts."

Zev grinned, "Oh I have something better." Zev rummaged through his pack and pulled out a flask. He waved it under the dwarfs nose a couple of times. Like a cat tracking a mouse Oghren's head followed the flask until his eyes popped open and quick as lightening grabbed the flask from Zev's hand.

Tristen laughed. "I didn't think a dwarf could move that quickly."

"When it comes to alcohol never underestimate our speed," Sigrun piped in.

"Zev, my evil twin, it's so good to see you again and you brought me a treat," Oghren said as he took a large gulp from the flask.

Zev laughed, "The Broma Brothers ride again, my friend." Zev reached out, took Oghren's hand and pulled him up.

"Oghren, where is the Commander?" Tristen asked.

"Well, the last thing I remember was this tall darkspawn emissary standing on a platform above us. This creature was uglier than a wart on a bronto's ass. He cast a spell that put both of us to sleep. Next thing I knew the smell of a fine brandy pulled me out of dream that involved the well formed bosoms of a girl I grew up with, a bucket of ale, a nug and a whip."

Zev laughed, "I don't think even I want to know the details of that one my friend."

Tristen stood up and headed in the direction of the Architect's laboratory. Zev, Sigrun and Oghren quickly followed. When they entered, he saw a dwarf standing by the same table that Alistair had been on. Tristen saw that Sabrina was now strapped to the table and the dwarf had just injected something into her veins. Sabrina's body began to convulse violently. Tristen drew his sword, rushed the dwarf and brought his sword down in an arch. She barely sided stepped the blade. She drew her sword and began to circle defensively. The dwarf was so focused on Tristen that she never heard Zevran sneak up behind her until she felt the blade slide across her neck. Zev let her slide to the ground. All three turned to the now motionless and unconscious body of Sabrina. Tristen rushed over to her and checked for a pulse, breathing a sigh of relief when he found a slow, but steady one.

Zev picked up the syringe; he smelled the needle and tasted a drop of the liquid, "It's a concentrated form of crow's poison."

"Fuck," Tristen muttered as he quickly undid the restraints and scooped her up in his arms.

They ran through the mines and exited, this time with no resistance. The Architect must have left after he had taken all that he needed from Sabrina. On the way back to their companions, they ran into two hurlocks and three genlocks.

Zev yelled over to him, "We have this. Get her to camp so that Anders can heal her. There is an antidote for the poison in my backpack."

Tristen quickly ran back to camp. "Anders," he yelled as he rushed in and laid Sabrina down on a bedroll by Alistair.

Anders was at his side immediately. He raised his hands over her body as he examined her. "That bastard almost completely drained her, but there is something else wrong."

"She was injected with concentrated crow's poison," Tristen replied.

Anders' face went white, "Oh, oh shit. With so little blood in her veins the poison would travel even quicker throughout her body. I can't even hope to heal her without an antidote."

"Zev said he has some in his pack," Tristen said as he leapt up to get the assassin's bag.

"Grab my pack too, I am going to need lyrium," Anders said.

As Anders began to cast healing spell after healing spell, Tristen ran and got both of the bags and brought them back to Anders. When he returned, Alistair had slid beside her, grasping her hand and it looked as if the man was praying. That was good because he had a feeling she was going to need it. They found the antidote and managed to get her to drink it, not knowing if they were already too late.

Anders was still working on her when Zev, Sigrun and Oghren made their way back into the camp and they ran over to where Anders was working. He was becoming drained and weak.

Nate grabbed Valenna by the arm and dragged her over to where everyone was gathered. "You're a mage, you need to help him," Nate demanded.

"Why should I help this shem?" The elf questioned.

"Because she is your only hope of becoming a Warden so you can find your sister. She dies and so do your chances of finding your sister and if you do nothing and let her die, you'll be lucky if I don't slice your throat open," Nate growled at her.

"I'm doing this for my sister, not her," the elf hissed as she bent down and began helping Anders cast healing spells.

Tristen was pacing back and forth as he watched Anders and Valenna continually work on her. He couldn't lose her, not now, not like this. There was so much he needed to say, so much he wanted to still experience with her. He loved her so much that the thought of her not being here in this world with him was unbearable and he felt a sharp pain in his chest at the very thought of it.

After several hours both of the mages were completely drained and fell back exhausted. Tristen brought both of them a canteen of water and helped them sit up. After taking a long sip of water Anders sighed, "We have done all that we can. She is in the Maker's hands now."

Tristen knelt beside her and gently brushed her hair out of her face. Alistair was on the other side of her still grasping her hand and gently stroking. She began to tremble and moaned, "Tristen, p-please…oh…love."

Tristen felt his heart stop and his breath catch. He looked up at Alistair and he had become completely still. They both looked over at Anders, but it was Zev that responded. "It's the effects of the poison as it works its way through her system. Even with the antidote, it will make her delirious and cause her to hallucinate. It's good that this stage is starting this soon. The quicker that it works its way through her the less damage it will do."

Tristen brought his bedroll over and placed it on the other side of her.

Zev looked on half amused at the two Theirin Brothers as they both stood vigil over the woman they both loved. Zev hadn't prayed in years, but tonight as he fell asleep he begged the Maker to spare her life.

Tristen had fallen asleep curled up next to her and Alistair sat on her other side as he stroked her arm, her face and ran his fingers through her hair. Tears filled his eyes as he thought about how badly he had treated her over the past several months and now he may never have the opportunity to make it up to her. He had been so incredibly selfish. Tristen had been right, he had only thought of himself, of his needs, his pain and his desires never once putting hers first. He pleaded with the Maker to forgive him, to let her live so that he could make up for all the harm he had caused her.

She began to shake again and her voice cried out causing Tristen to bolt straight up. "A-Ali…don't…please," her head thrashed back and forth. "Tr-trust me…I love…you, Ali…stair…don't leave me…pl-please," she cried out as her body shook and she sobbed. Alistair's eyes widened as utter horror rocked him.

Her body continued to quake and tremble. She screamed and she waved her arms out in front of her as if fending something off and then she grasped her side as she shrieked. "Ali…Ali..I'm dying…I…I ne-ed you…I j-just want to say…g-goodbye…my love."

Zev came up from behind him. "She is reliving what happened on top of the tower. I believe that is what she said right after the Archdemon's tail had sliced her open," Zev said coldly letting his words sink in and they found their mark.

Alistair grabbed her hand, brought it to his lips and gently kissed it, as the tears flowed down his cheeks.

"Bree, I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me, Love. Please forgive. OH MAKER, I should have been there." He pulled her into his arms and began to rock her. He kissed her forehead and brow over and over again as he chanted, "I should have been there. I'm so sorry. I should have been there." And she thrashed and whipped around in his arms, but he just clung to her chanting that he should have been there.

Tristen's heart broke as he watched helplessly at the anguish his brother was in, wishing there was something he could do to help him through this. Sabrina finally calmed down and fell back into a restless sleep in Alistair's arms and as much as Tristen wanted to hold her and comfort her, he knew that Alistair needed to come to terms with something so that he could let her go.

The rest of the night she remained quiet and sedated. Zev and Anders came and checked on her in the morning. Zev gave a curt nod before he turned to Alistair and Tristen, "Well it would seem that the poison moved quickly through her system and now we just wait and pray for her to wake up."

Over the next three days all of the men in her life that loved her in one form or another stood watch over her and cared for her as she continued in the death like sleep. On the morning of the fourth day as her head rested in Tristen's lap she began to stir and she gave a slight moan. Tristen gently stroked her hair. Sabrina's eyes fluttered open and she tried to focus on her surroundings. She looked up into Tristen's face and smiled warily.

"Welcome back, Mon Soleil" he sighed with relief.

"How long?" She whispered as her voice cracked.

Tristen reached for some water and eased her up so that she could take a sip. "You have been in a coma for a little over three days. You really had us worried."

"What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

She took another sip of water and she whispered, "I remember the Architect taking my blood and telling me his crazy plan to stop the Blight, but then he left and I thought for sure I was going to die strapped to that table. Then his crazy minion came in and injected me with something and that is all I remember."

"The bitch injected concentrated Crow's Poison into your bloodstream…what little blood was left," Tristen said bitterly.

Alistair had heard them talking and knelt down beside them. She looked over at him and smiled.

"I'm glad you are okay, Alistair," she murmured.

Alistair laughed. "You're glad I'm okay? That's ironic considering we have all been standing vigil over you."

She smiled sheepishly, "Sorry."

Anders made his way over and pushed Alistair out of the way, "Maker's balls, would you two back off and give her some breathing room?" He insisted that Tristen lay her down on the bedroll. He began to examine her as he muttered under his breath, "Like a bunch of damn vultures looking for their next meal."

Sabrina tried to laugh, but started to choke. Anders gave her another sip of water. Both Tristen and Alistair looked perturbed by the comment, but Anders looked directly at Alistair and Tristen, "How about the two of you go over to the fire and get some breakfast."

Both of the brothers were about to protest, but Anders cut them short. "I need to examine my patient and I think she would like a little privacy for that."

Once they had made their way over to the fire, Anders turned his attention back to Sabrina. "I thought you might like some time to actually collect your thoughts without the Theirin Stalkers hovering over you."

She smiled at him gratefully and whispered, "Thanks." She laid her head back down to rest.

"Bree, you're going to be fine, but you're going to need to rest. No chasing after the Architect until we have you back to full strength. You hear me?" Anders asked.

She nodded and as he watched her drift back to sleep he gently stroked her hair.

Tristen walked over to Anders, "Is she going to be okay?"

Anders looked at Tristen and then over to where Alistair sat. "Yes, she is going to be okay, but she is going to need plenty of rest so if you and your brother could keep your petty jealousy to yourselves she might heal faster. "

Tristen nodded his understanding and walked back to the fire.

They spent one more day so that Sabrina could get some of her strength back. Tristen could tell that Alistair wanted to talk with Sabrina, but he was hesitant so Tristen asked him about it. Alistair said now wasn't the time. That she was weak and needed to fully recover without him adding to her stress. Tristen smiled to himself, well, what do you know, maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks.

The Highever Knights had arrived a few days before and it was agreed that the Knights would escort the King back to Denerim, so early the following morning the Knights and the King headed for Denerim while the Wardens headed back to Vigil's Keep.

**Author Notes – ****Thank you once again to everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and review this story. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments. **

**I also want to thank Goddess Beta One – RandomWittering and Goddess Beta Two –Jinx1983 for their spankalicious beta-ing skills, ****for your support and for being such a great sounding board. ****You ladies are the best and I am honored to call you my friends!**


	14. Chapter 14 Fantasy

**CCBug had the brilliant idea of honoring the 100****th**** reviewer for her story Redemption by giving that reviewer a guest appearance in the story. I thought this was a great way to honor a story's faithful readers/reviewers. So with her blessing I am borrowing her wonderful idea for my story A Girl In King Alistair's Court and now I'm going to continue the tradition with this story too. This chapter's special guest will be Tess15216 who was this story's 100th reviewer. Thank you Tess, I hope you like your Dragon Age doppelganger. **

**Chapter 14**

"Sweet sweet fantasy baby, when I close my eyes  
You come and take me, on and on and on  
It's so deep in my daydreams, but it's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby

Images of rapture, creep into me slowly, as you're going to my head  
And my heart beats faster, when you take me over  
Time and time and time again, but it's just a fantasy"

_Fantasy by Mariah Carey_

Due to Sabrina being so weak it took the group two days to reach the Keep and when they rode through the gates they had an extra person with them. While traveling back they came across a young warrior that had been defending her family's farm for three days against the darkspawn. Her entire family had been killed and only due to her superior warrior skills had she managed to survive. Unfortunately she had been tainted during her battles and now the only way for her to survive was to be put through the joining.

Varel greeted them in the courtyard. He helped Sabrina down from her horse and studied her for a moment before continuing. "Welcome back, Commander, you look tired. Let me help you to your room."

"Thank you, Varel. I'd appreciate that, but first we must see to the joining for this young woman that has been infected by the taint," Sabrina said with a weak smile.

Varel looked up at the pretty, young warrior that had ridden on the back of Tristen's horse and after he dismounted he helped her down. Tristen helped the weakened warrior over to Varel. "Let me introduce you, Varel this is Tess Dufray. If you could get the joining ready for her as soon as possible that would be great."

Varel nodded, "It's a pleasure to meet you Tess and welcome to Vigil's Keep. Please follow me." He turned and they all headed through the main doors into the throne room.

A short time later after all the preparations had been made, Sabrina stood before the new recruit, held up the joining cup, recited the sacred words and then handed the cup to Tess. The warrior took a gulp then clutched at her head as she swayed unsteadily on her feet before she fell backwards.

Anders went over to check on her. He smiled up at Sabrina, "She's fine, Commander. She is going to make it."

Sabrina nodded wearily then stumbled slightly as the room began to spin. Tristen grabbed her immediately and scooped her up into his arms just as she passed out. He looked at Anders questioningly.

"Between the blood loss and the poison she is very weak and she should have been in bed for the past two days not riding on a horse. It's going to take time for her body to completely repair itself. Take her to her room and I will work on her some more," Anders said.

**xxXxx**

Tess had been at the Keep for two weeks now and had barely seen the Commander. Tess had heard that she'd had quite an ordeal in the Wending Woods and that it had physically drained her. It must have been one hell of a hard trial because from what Tess had seen, the Commander couldn't take on a single Hurlock let alone the Archdemon. Even though the Commander was too weak to physically impress Tess she did have the love, respect and loyalty of those that fell under her command and that spoke volumes about her character.

The Commander had asked to see her after she had recovered from her joining. She'd gone to her rooms apprehensively but relaxed when Sabrina had given her the Warden's pendant and welcomed her to the Order. She seemed pleased to have Tess as a Warden. She was sitting up in bed, still weak and recuperating, but took the time to explain that she understood the pain of losing her family and if she ever wanted to talk her door was always open. Everyone in the Arling knew the terrible tragedy that had befallen the Cousland family and even though Tess wasn't one to share her feelings it had touched her that Lady Cousland would make such an offer.

Once the Commander had been cleared by Anders to start working again, she had made her way out to the training ring several times when Tess would be sparring with Tristen or Oghren. The Commander would observe for a while and then give instructions to her trainers before heading back to her office. Tess could tell that there was a history between Sabrina and the dwarf and that there was a strong friendship between the two. Tess remembered hearing that a dwarf had been one of the Blight companions so she could only assume it had been Oghren.

Tess could also tell there was something between the Commander and her second in command, Tristen Theirin, but for the life of her she couldn't figure out what. The way Tristen looked at her was with love and devotion, but she couldn't tell if that was as one friend to another or as a lover. The Commander, whenever she was around Tristen was always friendly, open and warm, but there was something underlying there that was unreadable.

Tess thought the Commander was crazy if she wasn't sleeping with Tristen. She had heard that he was the King's twin brother and he was as incredibly handsome as King Alistair, but with the shoulder length blond hair and the goatee it made him a bit more edgy. He had that roguish charm that Tess found unbelievably sexy and when he smiled that mischievous grin of his, it made her stomach flip and her knees go weak. She knew just by looking at him that he had to be a fantastic kisser. She would give anything to find out.

This morning she had come out to the practice ring to work out on a wooden dummy before everyone else arrived to train. She had been going at it for a while when she heard a low whistle behind her.

"What did that poor dummy do to deserve such harsh treatment from you?" Tristen said with that sexy grin of his and she felt the air rush out of her chest.

"Aaah, well it made some smart remark about my butt being too big so I had to show him who was boss," Tess said with a smile.

Tristen laughed, "Well then the dummy must be blind to make such a rude comment about your behind. It's perfect the way it is. As a matter of fact I would have to say it's one of the most perfect bottoms I have seen in a long time."

"Aaah, thanks," she said as she tried to catch her breath and suppress a giggle. He had noticed her butt and he thought it was perfect.

"Well, are you ready to train?" Tristen asked, then he grinned again, "If you're lucky, you might even get me flat on my back. Then what will I do?" He asked mischievously and winked at her.

_Take a deep breath and think clearly Tess._

They slowly began to circle each other, Tess made the first move and lunged quickly with a short jab with her sword, Tristen easily side stepped her, spun around and hit her with his shield on her arm. She staggered a bit, but remained on her feet.

"You aren't going to get me on my back with that kind of move. Now concentrate, Tess," Tristen said teasingly.

She cleared her head; she focused on reading his body language in order to read his attacks. She lunged, he parried, she swung, he blocked and then when he lunged forward a little too deep she side stepped him. It caught him off balance, and she brought the blunt side of her blade down on his arm and shoulder. He growled as he swung his sword around and hit her in the back with the broad side of his blade, but as he pulled away the tip of it caught the upper part of her bare arm and sliced through the tender skin.

She cried out in pain and when Tristen saw the blood dripping down her arm, he waved her off and halted the match. He walked over to her and pulled off his gauntlets so that he could closely examine the wound. He gripped her arm and the heat from his touch set her heart pounding like a drum. He put his hand around her waist and led her over to the side so he could see to it.

He quickly cleaned and wrapped the wound. He smiled at her again "All better, I'm sorry about that. I never meant to mar such beautiful skin."

She looked at him as her heart raced even faster, "You think my skin is beautiful?"

Tristen reached out, tucked a stray blond hair behind her ear then slid his hand under her chin and lifted her face up to his. "Well, it has to match your beautiful face," he said and he closed the distance between them as he captured her mouth with his. He kissed her hard, the small force of his teeth on her lower lip, the gentle biting and pulling made her head spin. He slid his tongue into her mouth and he tasted so good as his velvety tongue explored her, tasted her, devoured her. He held her so close; the heat of his skin setting hers ablaze.

A whimper escaped her lips as his fingers curled into her hair; she pressed her hips against him and felt his strong desire for her. He wrapped one arm around her waist pulling her hard against his throbbing member while his other hand cupped her neck as he deepened the kiss even further.

His lips left hers as his tongue trailed a path down her neck. The feel of his lips on her skin caused a moan to rip from her throat. She couldn't get enough of him and she had never wanted anyone so badly.

His mouth found hers again as his fingers slid down to her waist and slipped his hand into her leggings, expertly pushing her small clothes aside and his fingers drove into her slick hot folds and she gasped from shock and pleasure.

His fingers moved in and out of her, her head dizzy and….

"Hello, Thedas to Tess, did you hear me? What did that poor dummy do to deserve such harsh treatment from you?" Tristen said ripping her from her fantasy. _Damn it!_

"Aaah, well it made some smart remark about my butt being too big so I had to show him who was boss," Tess said with a grin.

Tristen grinned, "Well remind me never to get on your bad side. Are you ready to join me in the practice ring?"

Much to her dismay Tristen was a perfect gentleman for the entire sparring session.

**xxXxx**

It took Sabrina another week before she had all of her strength back. During the first week of her recovery, her Wardens would visit her everyday to keep her company. Zev never left her side and every time Tristen entered her room to discuss warden business, he would see Zev comfortably perched beside her on the bed. Tristen was not a jealous man and he actually liked the assassin, but for once he would like to come into her room and find her alone. He needed to talk with her about what had happened before she had left for Highever, but he also wanted her to have her strength back before he brought up the subject.

He just wanted to be alone with her. To talk with her, tell her about his day, to see that radiant smile of hers and hear her laugh at his jokes. He just wanted to reconnect with her again. Well, that wasn't all he wanted. He fantasized about holding her in his arms, the sweet pleasure of her lips as they melted against his, the scent of her as he nibbled at her ear and whispered how much he loved her and then proceeding to take his time showing her so.

She was up and about the second week but still on light duties. Her strength was returning slowly but she was still hesitant about being alone with him and kept any conversation superficial unless it was about the running of the Order. Tristen was getting increasingly frustrated and in a moment of irritation had snapped at Zevran about being ever present. The assassin had merely looked at him for a moment, his expression neutral before he'd sighed and took pity on him. Zevran had come to like Tristen and with what Sabrina had told him, how she spoke about him, he could plainly see how things truly stood. Without breaking her confidence, the elf had told him that Sabrina was still working things through. Zevran had smiled and mentioned that patience would sometimes be rewarded. Tristen had taken that to heart and as his manner relaxed around Sabrina, so did hers.

By the end of the third week when she was almost completely back to her old self, she surprised Tristen when she asked him to join her for a walk in the field behind the Keep. He agreed readily and with her arm looped through his, she led him out the back gate. They walked for a while as they discussed Warden business, the letter from Alistair letting them know they had made it back to Denerim safely and eventually the business with the Architect.

When they found an old oak tree that provided plenty of shade, Tristen laid out the blanket Sabrina had brought along, so that they could sit down beneath it. For the first time in a very long time he was at a loss for words and very nervous.

She took his hands gently, "Tristen, I'm so sorry it's taken me this long to talk to you. I couldn't think of much when I was first recovering, then... I needed to work through everything that had happened. I..." Tristen just shook his head interrupting her.

He took a deep breath and looked into her deep green eyes. He swallowed hard, knowing it was now or never, and then began, "Brin, I want you to know that I am so sorry that I didn't tell you about the connection between Alistair and me. I would never betray you or the trust that you have placed in me. I wanted to tell you about the dreams and I started to several times, but I just didn't know how to do it without making it sound like I was some crazy stalker. The whole thing is so strange and weird to me, let alone trying to explain it to someone else," he paused for a moment to collect his thoughts.

He couldn't help himself and pulled her into his arms and ran his fingers through her hair as he looked into her beautiful face. "I have never been more frightened in my life than when I carried you out of that mine. I knew there was a real possibility that I might lose you and I couldn't imagine not having you in my life, Brin. I need you to know that I love you and not because Alistair loves you. _I love_ _you_, Brin. I love your strength, I love your compassion, I love your ability to forgive, I love the crazy way you look at the world, I love your feisty nature and even your stubbornness, I love your humor, I love the way you sing off key," a wicked grin spread across his face as he continued. "I love your dirty mind and I especially love all the tantalizingly good uses you put that mind to. Pure and simple, Brin, I love you…I love everything about you…"

Before he could finish Sabrina slid into his lap and straddled him, she cupped his face in her hands and looked directly into his eyes, "You used your dreams to save me. You came after me to get me away from Denerim. You used the knowledge from your dreams to try and help me heal from all the pain. You used the information from your dreams to love me like no man has ever loved me. I know you didn't betray me, Tristen because I know your heart. You're a good man, a good man that I want to spend the rest of my life loving."

Tristen felt his heart leap in his chest at the same time his stomach completely flipped, "W-what are you saying, Brin?"

She smiled and leaned in so that her lips were only inches from his as she whispered, "I'm telling you Tristen Theirin that I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you."

That was all Tristen needed to hear, his hands slid to the nape of her neck as he pulled her to him so that his lips captured hers in a searing kiss that caused such a slow, but pleasurable burn. Tristen delved into her mouth with his tongue, invading her, tasting her –so sweet, so divine. It sent a shiver of helpless need through him and the familiar stirring surged through his groin that had the ache of pure desire as it seized him. He knew they needed to stop now. She had just sent his head reeling from her declaration of love and he desperately wanted to claim her as his, but now was not the time or the place. He pulled back from the intoxicating kiss, "Brin, now is not the time…"

She didn't give him a chance to finish before her lips were on his again, her tongue hungrily slipped back into his mouth – so eager, so needful. The delicious feel of her hot velvety mouth and her supple body pressed against his was completely breaking his resolve. He had no will power left when it came to this woman. All of his senses and logic completely went out the window when she was around and all he wanted to do was please her in every way.

Tristen's hands slid up and down her back as his fingers nimbly undid the laces of her dress, pulling it down off her shoulders to expose her soft wonderful breasts. She leaned back to give him better access and sighed in pleasure as he bent his head to taste her. He lavishly cared for her breasts with little bites, then laved them with his tongue. He took one hard nipple into his mouth and devoured it while his other hand massaged the other. He stroked and teased her with his mouth until she cried out with need.

His hands moved to her hips and he pushed her against his now throbbing erection and she moaned as she eagerly ground her hot center against him as she too sought release from the growing pressure. He had missed her so much, yearned for her for so long that he knew he wouldn't last long, but he urgently needed to lose himself inside her.

"Brin, Love, you are too much. Oh Maker, I need you," he gasped.

Brin met his gaze, her eyes flashed with heated desire and she pulled his tunic over his head then pushed him back and leaned down to him. With a smile she pressed her hips even harder against him, as she bent down and her lips were on his skin. He moaned, tipped his head back as he reveled in the feel of her body pressed against his, the soft caresses of her lips as they kissed, licked and sucked their way along his jaw and down his neck to his chest. Her teeth and tongue played and teased his nipples mercilessly. Her long tresses trailed over him, tickling and teasing him further. _Brin!_ He pressed her more forcefully against him and he could feel her heat through their clothes. He didn't think it was possible, but he grew even harder. Her touch, her scent was beautiful torment. _Brin, my beautiful Brin please…_

"Tristen, I need you…_**now!**_'" Sabrina pleaded urgently as her fingers tugged at the laces of his trousers. She moved to one side as she pulled his pants down and Tristen kicked them off along with his boots. He pulled Sabrina back to him and made quick work of removing her dress completely, growling as he saw her panties. Tristen felt the painful throb of his member and knew he couldn't wait any longer, his body was thrumming with frightening need so he simply tore the delicate fabric away from her.

"Please, Tristen, I need to feel you deep inside me," she begged as her tongue swirled against his skin before she captured his mouth again.

Tristen rolled her onto her back, hovering over her for a moment before her hips urgently rose to meet his. He gasped as he parted her slick wet folds and plunged deep inside her core. He drew back and buried himself to the hilt as he sealed his lips over hers, his tongue moving with hers as he drank her in – his need for her overpowering, consuming and burning right through him.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and arched her back to take him in more and more each time. She was so wet, so hot and so tight that for a moment his vision blurred as her slick core surrounded him. She whimpered with pleasure and Tristen let his restraint go as he melted into her.

Tristen drove into her harder and Sabrina clung to him as her nails dug into his back. Her body, so soft, so perfect, yielded for him again and again as he thrust deeply into her. Her hips rocked with him, each time squeezing her muscles around him, making him gasp.

He looked down at her, she was stunning, so unbelievably beautiful that it shocked him that she was now his, that she loved him, "Oh Brin, my love, you are so incredible," he moaned as he slid in and out of her, the fiery pressure building within him building stronger and blinding him to anything but their joined bodies.

Their rhythm became frantic as they moved together harder, his body gliding against her swollen nub, she moaning his name as her hips met his thrusts and her inner walls clenched around him. Tristen cried out, gasping and panting as he tried to postpone the inevitable, wanting to give her as much as he could.

"Ah! Ah! Oh Maker! Tristen my Love!" Sabrina screamed as she went over the edge, writhing beneath him as the waves of intense pleasure crashed over her again and again.

Tristen was drowning, his head was spinning from her scent, his body lost in hers and he rode out her orgasm desperately as he descended on her one last time, claiming her sweet mouth with his. She kissed him back fervently, urgently and he felt her begin to shudder beneath him once more. She cried out his name as she peaked for the second time, clinging to him as her body convulsed around him, milking his length relentlessly and this time he was helpless to resist and he spilled deep into her, an untamed cry erupted from his lips as the wave of unbearable bliss poured over him.

Tristen buried his head in her neck as he tried to catch his breath and regain his thoughts. All he could feel was the rapturous delight of two individuals becoming whole once more. She loved him – true and lasting. Wrapped in the cloak of her love Tristen felt perfect and divine, safe, and warm, valued and most of all, deeply loved.

After a very long time, Tristen gained his senses, and he began to discern the world around him and he could feel the steady breathing of his beloved beneath him. He lifted his head and searched her face. She smiled her radiant smile at him.

"Brin, I love you" he whispered lovingly as he nuzzled her and kissed her soft lips.

"I love you too, Tristen," she sighed back. He held her tightly to him, he never imagined how incredible hearing her say those three little words would make him feel, but he now felt he could do anything, overcome everything with her by his side.

**Author Notes – ****I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. Please continue to share your thoughts with me. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments. **

**Tess - Was it good for you?  
**

**I also want to thank Goddess Beta One – RandomWittering and Goddess Beta Two –Jinx1983 for their fantabulous beta-ing skills, ****for your support and for being such a great sounding board. **** This chapter is so much better because of your wonderful skills. ****You ladies are the best!**


	15. Chapter 15 I'm Moving On

**Chapter 15**

"I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons, finally content with a past I regret  
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness, for once I'm at peace with myself  
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long, I'm movin' on

At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me, and I know there's no guarantees,

But I'm not alone, there comes a time in everyone's life  
When all you can see are the years passing by, and I have made up my mind

That those days are gone"

_I'm Moving On by Rascal Flatts_

Alistair had hoped to enter the city of Denerim without any fanfare, but as he approached the city gates he realized that wasn't going to happen. The people were lined up outside the city walls and as he rode through the gates into the city, the streets were overflowing as the citizens waved, cheered and sent him their get well wishes. The love and affection that he felt from his people was incredibly moving and humbling. He dismounted and was followed closely by four Highever Knights as he walked the streets of Denerim. He greeted the citizens, and shook hands with them as he made his way to the Palace.

When he finally arrived, there was an even larger group awaiting him and standing at the top of the steps was Anora. He took a deep breath and began to ascend the stairs. As he made his way up to his wife he shook hands with several nobles who offered him their well-wishes.

He approached Anora who curtsied, "Welcome home, my Lord."

Alistair bowed to her, "It's good to be home, my Lady. I was hoping to make a much quieter entrance."

"Well Sire, when your people found out that you had been gravely injured, but that you had made a full recovery, they wanted to show you their admiration. It's obvious that your people love you," Anora said warmly, surprising Alistair a little.

"And it makes for great public relations," Alistair chortled.

Anora chuckled, "Yes it does."

Alistair hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. Again Alistair was shocked by the amount of affection she showed him. The crowd was delighted to see the tenderness between the royal couple and they cheered enthusiastically. They both turned and waved to their people before heading inside.

Once they stepped inside the main hall Eamon greeted both of them, "Welcome home, your Majesty. I am glad to see you are back in good health."

"Thank you Eamon, it's good to be back," Alistair replied.

"You will be happy to know that we received word from Varel at Vigil's Keep that the Commander is recovering nicely. She will be weak for some time, but is expected to make a full recovery," Eamon informed him.

"Thank you, Eamon. There is a lot that we need to get caught up on, but right now I want to get out of these dusty clothes and take a hot bath," Alistair replied.

"I thought you might be exhausted so I took the liberty to have a hot bath with a cheese tray sent to your room," Anora responded.

Alistair smiled at her, trying to hide his suspicions. "Thank you, Anora that was thoughtful of you and I appreciate it. After I get cleaned up could the two of you join me in my study. There are some things I need to discuss with you both."

A few hours later Eamon and Anora were seated in his office and he told them all about Tristen and Fiona, however he left out the fact that Fiona was an elven mage. He would have time to break that news at a later date. Anora seemed stunned, but Eamon was less disturbed by the news.

Alistair turned to Eamon, "You don't seem too surprised by this."

"Well, there were rumors that you had a twin brother that died at birth so no I'm not surprised that Maric had your twin sent away and kept you here since you were the oldest," Eamon replied.

"Well, there needs to be an announcement made to the nobles and to the rest of Ferelden about the fact that I have a twin brother. He is a Warden and will be seen throughout the land. We don't want to cause any unrest in the country," Alistair said.

Both Eamon and Anora agreed. "He will need to be introduced to the nobles," Eamon said.

"Yes, I was thinking we could do that at the next Landsmeet and since he is of Theirin blood he needs to be added into the line of succession as an heir to the throne." Alistair added.

"Yes, you are quite right," Eamon agreed.

They spent the rest of the meal asking him about Tristen and Alistair found that he rather enjoyed describing his brother to them.

**xxXxx**

It had been over two months since his return to Denerim and Alistair had once again fallen into a comfortable routine of running the country, meeting with nobles and listening to citizens' disputes. He was grateful that Anora was there to help with these mundane tasks and she was eager to educate him in the areas where he lacked the knowledge to make a well informed decision.

Although his days were hectic and demanding with the everyday activities of court life, most evenings he quietly relaxed in his study and reflected on the decisions that he had made that had changed the course of his life forever. Most nights he would become very melancholy. He knew that it was because of his anger and his rash decision that he was not at Vigil's Keep rebuilding the Wardens with Sabrina. As he came to terms with the choices that he had made, he vowed to never allow himself to make a rash judgment in anger ever again. It had cost him his freedom and a life with the woman that he loved and now he had to somehow find a way to live with the consequences.

In the short time that he had spent with Tristen, Alistair felt like he'd really bonded with his brother. He had really enjoyed his company, had come to love him even, but if he was honest with himself he was still very resentful that Tristen had stepped into the life that should have been his, with the only woman he would ever love and it was a constant battle that waged within him.

Alistair was surprised that even though he had been back for a few months that Anora was still friendly and affectionate towards him, and at times she was downright flirtatious. She had asked him to spend several evenings with him playing cards or reading together and Alistair found her company enjoyable. Their time together helped relieve some of the pain that he felt since losing Sabrina, and her companionship eased his loneliness and melancholy moods. However, as much as he wanted to take her attentions at face value she was still the daughter of Loghain and he couldn't help but have qualms about her intentions.

This evening she had invited him to her chamber for a private dinner and as he checked himself in the mirror one last time he realized he was a little nervous even though he had no idea why. He adjusted his doublet and then headed across the hall to the Queens rooms.

He knocked and a few seconds later Anora opened the door. He had to suppress his shock. She looked amazing. She wore a formfitting silver and blue brocade dress that highlighted her deep blue eyes and porcelain skin. She wore her blond hair down and the waves tumbled past her shoulders. Alistair knew that she was an attractive woman some might even say beautiful, but he had never thought of her that way because when Sabrina was in the room, she was the only woman he had eyes for.

Now as Anora stood in the warm glow of the candle and firelight, Alistair realized for the first time that she was a very striking woman. She smiled at him as she stepped aside and welcomed him in. They made their way over to the fireplace and her hand maiden served both of them with a glass of wine.

"I'm so glad you could join me this evening, Alistair," Anora said sincerely.

"I was a little surprised by the invitation, but I must say I found myself looking forward to this all day," Alistair replied truthfully.

"Well, since you have been back I know we have had numerous dinners to attend together, but we really haven't dined together alone and I thought it was about time we remedied that."

Before Alistair could reply the door opened and two servants carried in the first course. Anora gestured toward the table near the fire; Alistair held out her chair for her as she took a seat and then sat across from her. They spent most of the meal making idle chit chat, but once dessert had been served and they were alone, Anora reached over to rest her hand on top of Alistair's. She looked a little nervous as her gaze went from his eyes to their hands and then back to his eyes again.

"Alistair, I know that I am not the woman you envisioned as your wife or as your Queen. I know that your true love is at Vigil's Keep and is the Warden Commander. I would never try to replace her in your heart, but circumstances have brought us together. We can either fight against our current situation and against each other, or we can accept it and work together. I think you have the potential to be a great King. You are as loved by the people as Maric and Cailan, but you have a strategic and diplomatic mind that will make you an excellent ruler," Anora said.

Alistair looked at her questioningly, "What exactly are you saying?"

"I want to make this…make _us_ work," Anora replied.

Alistair raised an eye brow, "Why the sudden change of heart"

Anora looked down again a little uneasy. She contemplated her words before she spoke. "After Sabrina left and you came to my rooms, I wasn't lying to you when I asked you for time because I was mourning. You may not believe me, but I loved Cailan. I had been in love with him since I was a young girl. His death crushed me and then the death of my father broke my h-heart even more." Her voice wavered and she paused to collect herself.

"So what has changed?" Alistair asked again respectfully.

She looked up at him and he saw compassion in her eyes. "When I received word that you had been kidnapped I realized that I didn't want to bury another husband and I prayed everyday that the Maker would spare your life."

Alistair must have had a look of absolute shock on his face because when Anora looked up at him she began to giggle. "Don't look so shocked, contrary to popular belief I do have a heart."

Alistair couldn't help but laugh. She laughed with him as she continued. "I don't believe that we are going to have a love story the bards sing about - I believe you've already had that. However, I do like you Alistair, and if we gave each other a chance I believe that with time we could grow to care about each other deeply. I also believe that together we can rebuild Ferelden and make it a great nation. What do you say, Alistair? Are you willing to give us a chance?"

"I appreciate everything you just said Anora, and I want to believe that your words are heartfelt, but I have to ask if this sudden change of heart has anything to do with the fact that there is another Theirin heir to take my place if anything were to happen to me," Alistair said.

Anora looked directly into his eyes as she spoke, "I would be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind and yes an heir with you would help secure my throne, but that is not why I asked for you to give us a chance. Both Cailan and my father died young and I realized life is too short to spend in a constant struggle for power with you when in reality our personalities complement each other. It will be better for Ferelden and in the long run more enjoyable and pleasant for us."

Alistair had resigned himself to the fact that this was the life he had chosen for himself. He could be miserable for the rest of it or he could try to make the best of it and hopefully find some happiness along the way. He knew that he would never love another the way he loved Sabrina, but in time he might be able care for the woman in front of him who had just completely opened herself up to him.

He looked into her hopeful eyes and he couldn't help, but smile. He nodded, "Yes, I am willing to give us a chance. I too believe that together we can accomplish great things for Ferelden and if along the way we can find comfort and security in each other it will make the journey even sweeter."

Now it was Anora's turn to look utterly shocked and Alistair chuckled. "Don't look so shocked, contrary to popular belief I can speak elegantly when I want to."

Anora laughed as she stood up, walked over to him and took his hand. She led him to her bed chamber and once the door was closed he pulled her into his arms, drew her to him and leaned down to kiss her. She returned the kiss and slid her arms around his neck. The kiss started out chaste and slow, but as she entwined her fingers in his hair, his body began to respond and he deepened the kiss.

They proceeded to undress each other slowly and then Alistair laid her back on the bed. He took his time as explored her body. Anora was only the second woman he had ever been with and it made him a little nervous, but as he licked, sucked and kissed her in all the right places her body responded as she came on his fingers, on his mouth and around his swollen member. He enjoyed being a generous lover and it delighted him that Anora seemed extremely pleased as she curled up beside him completely sated. "You were incredible. Who knew a chantry boy could be so talented?" She cooed.

"Well, the pleasure was all mine," Alistair murmured as he pulled her onto his chest.

It wasn't the best sex of his life, but it was still very enjoyable and the areas that Anora lacked could easily be taught. He had to smile, he was grateful that Sabrina had been so sexually uninhabited and that she had taught him how to truly pleasure a woman. Just as skillfully and lovingly as Sabrina had educated him in the art of making love he would instruct Anora and as he drifted off to sleep he realized he was actually looking forward to it.

_Alistair was walking in the courtyard at Vigil's Keep. It was a quiet morning and hardly anyone was up yet. He heard the clashing of metal coming from the sparring ring and he headed in that di__rection. As he approached the ring he saw Tristen and himself sparring, Alistair stood in the shadows and watched._

_Alistair smiled devilishly at his sparring partner, "Oh come on Tristen, don't be such a gentleman, it's just me. We are both in love wit__h the same woman we can at least be honest with each."_

_Tristen circled Alistair and as Alistair charged, he blocked him with his shield and pushed him back. "Yeah, there is such a thing as too much honesty."_

_They circled each other again, "Oh just give __me a ballpark," Alistair taunted._

_Tristen remained silent as he charged Alistair swinging his sword up in an arch, Alistair raised his blade and the swords crossed between them and the distinct sound of metal being scraped together echoed throughout the c__ourtyard. _

_Tristen withdrew his blade and the two brothers began to circle again. Alistair grinned at his twin, "Please Brother, tell me that you have at least once had her reach that glorious moment of sexual bliss," Alistair said teasingly._

_Slightly__ stunned Tristen defensively replied, "Of course!"_

"_Well, at least you accomplished it at least once," Alistair jokingly mocked. _

_Still feeling like he was defending his manhood Tristen retorted, "OH, no need to worry Brother, Brin reaches complete satis__faction numerous times when we are together," Tristen said smugly._

_Alistair grinned again at his brother as they circled one another. "Numerous times, huh? So more than two?"_

"_Yes Alistair, if you most know it's more than two," Tristen grunted._

_Alistai__r continued to grin, "Huh, is it three? Is that the most number of times you have been able to have her reach climax? If so, three is not bad, it's a good number, but not very ambitious of you."_

_Tristen glared at Alistair and through gritted teeth said, __"It's more than three, okay!"_

"_So it's four…five?'_

"_FIVE! Are you happy now, it was five times in one night!"_

_Alistair continued to grin, "Huh, not bad, not bad at all little Brother."_

"_LITTLE brother, only by seconds and what do you mean not bad? Fi__ve is a great number, not easily achieved, but it did make for a remarkable night," Tristen said as he winked at his brother goading him on. _

_Alistair snickered at his brother, "No your right, five is not easily achieved, but I still think you are __underachieving."_

"_Oh and what is your number?'_

_Alistair broke out into a huge grin, "Well, you have to understand I am a very generous lover. My partner's pleasure comes before mine and…"_

"_Hey wait a minute, I am not a selfish lover and Brin's pleasure__ always comes before mine," Tristen interjected._

"_I did not mean to insinuate that you were a self-centered, self-gratifying lover. I just mentioned my own style so that you had a point of reference when I told you that in one glorious, passion filled ni__ght I had Bree climax seven times." _

_Tristen's jaw dropped in astonishment. "Seven times?...You're her number one on her top five."_

_Alistair grinned, "Yep!"_

_Tristen leveled his eyes at Alistair and smirked. "Well Brother, thanks for giving me a new goal__."_

_Alistair's expression changed and become more somber. He looked sadly into Tristen's eyes, "Promise me you will take__ care of her and never cause her the__ kind of pain that I've caused her."_

"_You have my word, Alistair, until my last breath I will take car__e of her and love her." _

_Alistair turned away from the dueling brothers as the scene changed to that splendid night at Eamon's estate, when he had asked her to be his wife. She had enthusiastically agreed to spend the rest of her life with him and then he'd proceeded to explore every inch of her body until they were both sated and fell into a deep sleep as the sun began to rise._

Author's note - Thank you to all of my faithful readers and reviewers. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments.

*A big shout out to my beta peeps, RandomWittering and Jinx1983, you ladies are the best! Thank you for all of your help, advise, support and most of all your friendship.


	16. Chapter 16 Getting' Over You

**Chapter 16**

"All the things I know right now, if I only knew back then  
There's no gettin' over, no gettin' over, there's just no gettin' over you

Wish I could spin my world into reverse, just to have you back again  
There's no gettin' over, there's no gettin' over, there's just no gettin' over you"

_Getting' Over You by David Guetta featuring Fergie_

Sabrina and the Wardens slowly made their way into the courtyard of the Keep. They had been gone a month in the Blackmarsh and she had never felt so bone weary. She slid down from her horse and immediately Tristen was at her side with his arm around her as they made their way into the Keep. She went to her study so that Varel could bring her up to date on the activities of the Keep, while Tristen asked one of the servants for a bath to be brought up to the Commander's rooms.

What seemed like hours later, Sabrina finally made it to her chambers. When she entered, her room was lit by dozens of candles and smelled like Highever Jasmine. Tristen must have added some of the perfumed oil Fergus had given her to the water. He was already in the tub, completely relaxed.

He smiled at her as she walked over to him, "You are way to overdressed for a soak, my Love."

She quickly got undressed and climbed in, turning around and easing herself down so she could lean her back against his chest.

"Mmm, now that is a very _stimulating_ view," Tristen groaned.

"Don't get any ideas. I'm too tired to remember my name let alone participate in any extracurricular activities," Sabrina warned.

Tristen laughed. "Who said you needed to participate? You my sweet, just need to lay back, relax and enjoy."

For the next hour they soaked in the bath together as they affectionately and gently cleaned each other. Tristen helped her _unwind_ several times and she was nearly asleep before he got out of the tub. He dried himself off before pulling her up, wrapped a towel around her and dried her. She was barely able to stand as he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bed where he lovingly wrapped himself around her and they fell asleep wrapped in each others' arms.

The following morning the bells from the guard tower woke her as they sounded the approach of the Teyrn. Sabrina scrambled out of bed, threw on a robe and headed for the courtyard. Her brother dismounted and smiled brightly as she swiftly moved toward him.

"Bloody hell, Fergus, don't you think a little notice that you were planning a visit would have been nice?" Sabrina asked sternly.

"What? I can't surprise my sister with a visit and is that anyway to greet your brother?" Fergus questioned as he winked at Tristen who had approached from behind.

"Your Grace, it's good to see you again," Tristen said.

"Well, I'm glad someone is happy to see me. If I didn't know any better, Bean, I would say you're disappointed I'm here," Fergus said.

"Oh you know that isn't true," Sabrina said as she hugged her brother. "It's just that we only arrived back from the Blackmarsh yesterday and I have a lot to catch up on."

"The Blackmarsh! You don't say. Well, let's go have some breakfast and you can tell me all about it," Fergus said.

"What are you doing here, Fergus?"

"What you think I have ulterior motives for being here?"

Sabrina nodded. "Well, if you must know I am meeting with Lord Eddelbrek to discuss lending him some of Highever's soldiers to help defend the farm lands."

Sabrina stopped dead in her tracks. "And you're just now getting around to telling me this? Don't you think that this will undermine my authority since I decreed that the trade routes were the most important thing that needed to be defended."

Fergus rested his hand on her shoulder. "That is why I'm here, Bean. I agree with your choice. The city can't survive without trade flowing freely, but the farmers provide food throughout the Teyrnir. I know you are short on men so I am here to offer assistance. Now, let's go inside and discuss everything."

The three of them headed into Sabrina's study where the servants brought them breakfast as they brought each other up to date on news. After Sabrina told him about their trip to the Blackmarsh, the Baroness and the Fade, Fergus sat back astonished.

Fergus shook his head, "The life you lead, my dear sister, is amazing and frightening. I hope you are being careful. After your last close call, I don't know if my heart can take much more."

"You have my word, Fergus, I am keeping a close eye on her," Tristen said.

Fergus smiled at him. "Yes, of that I have no doubt. So Tristen, when are you going to make an honest woman of my dear sister."

Both Tristen and Sabrina began to choke and Sabrina nearly spit out her tea. "F-Fergus, that is none of your concern!" She exclaimed as she looked over at Tristen who was now three shades of red.

"Of course it is. I have to look out for your reputation, Bean. After all you are the sister of a Teryn," Fergus said.

"Oh please, since when have you cared about my reputation?"

"Since I am now responsible for you," Fergus said jovially.

"Oh for the love of Andraste's sweet arse, you haven't been responsible for…" her voice trailed off as she looked at Fergus and realized he was just giving her a hard time on purpose. She picked up a scone and lobbed it at his head; Fergus ducked and it hit the floor behind him.

Fegus chuckled, "Your aim isn't what it used to be."

"If I had a blade in my hand it would be a different story," Sabrina said sardonically.

Fergus' eyes lit up, "Speaking of blades, dear sister…" Fergus paused as he grabbed his pack and rummaged through it. He found what he was looking for and with drew the matching dagger that her father had given her.

Fergus handed it to her, "The dagger was much more damaged then the sword and it took the smithy much longer to repair, but I do believe that he was able to bring it back its former beauty."

Sabrina just stared at the dagger in shock and joy, lovingly running her hand over it. She leapt to her feet and enthusiastically hugged him. "Thank you, Fergus, thank you so much."

Fergus wholeheartedly returned the hug. "Anything for you, Beanie, you know that."

There was a knock at the door and Sabrina got up to answer it. "Commander, there is a visitor waiting for you and Warden Tristen in your office."

"Thank you, Tyson," Sabrina said as she handed the boy two silver coins. She turned back toward the table and noticed Tristen and Fergus discussing something animatedly in hushed tones. When they noticed her approach they quickly changed the subject.

Sabrina raised an eye brow, "Whatever you two are scheming it needs to stop right now."

They both looked at her with feigned innocence. "Who? Us? Scheme? Never!" Tristen exclaimed as he gave her that sexy wicked grin of his that always made her knees wobble just a little.

"That grin of yours won't work on me, Tristen Theirin. I'm on to your games," Sabrina retorted.

"Oh really, 'cause I'm pretty sure I just saw you tremble ever so slightly. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was just the light in here playing tricks with my eyes. Was I wrong Fergus?" Tristen asked as his grin grew even wider.

"No, no you weren't. There was definitely a faint quiver," Fergus replied, enjoying playing along.

"Men!" Sabrina said exasperated and she spun on her heels to leave. Both of them burst into laughter.

Sabrina stopped and looked at Tristen. "By the way, there is someone in my office here to see the two of us. Get ready and meet me there in fifteen minutes."

Then she swiftly exited the room, but she heard Fergus say, "Giving a command always makes her feel better when she gets backed into a corner." Sabrina rolled her eyes and headed for her room to change.

**xxXxx**

Tristen was running late as he made his way to Sabrina's office, he hoped that Sabrina was running a little behind too, but as he approached the door he heard her unmistakable laughter.

He entered the room and noticed a small woman sitting in the chair in front of Sabrina's desk. Upon hearing his approach, the woman twisted around to look. Tristen's eyes widened as a huge smile spread across his face.

"Mom…you're here! Maker it's good to see you!" He exclaimed as he picked his mother up and hugged her fiercely.

"You're a sight for sore eyes, my boy. Now put me down so that I can get a good look at you," Fiona said tenderly.

Tristen set the tiny elf down. She only came up to the middle of his chest as she had ever since he hit a growth spurt in his early teens, he knelt down in front of her so that she could examine him. Tristen felt the warmth of the magic wash over him as his mother magically inspected him. She paused when her hands were over his heart; she paused and then smiled at him before she continued the rest of her examination.

Once satisfied that her boy was healthy, she turned towards Sabrina, "Commander, I see you have been taking good care of my boy. I appreciate that."

Sabrina smiled warmly at her. "Of course, although at times he hasn't made it easy for me," Sabrina said as she winked at Tristen.

"I would expect nothing less from this one," Fiona replied with a grin. Fiona then leveled a serious look at Sabrina before she continued. "And Commander would you be the one that has stolen my dear son's heart?"

Tristen watched as Sabrina's face briefly registered shock before she reined in her emotions. _What the bloody hell was going on today with family members intruding o__n their private lives?_

"Mom, that is a completely inappropriate thing to ask of a woman you just…" he started.

Sabrina raised her hand to silence him. "No, Tristen it is a completely reasonable question for a mother to ask. Fiona, I can only hope that I have captured your son's heart as completely as he as ensnared mine."

Fiona beamed at her. "After what I just felt, of that my dear child you should never doubt."

Sabrina smiled at both of them and asked, "You could tell he was in love when you examined him?"

Fiona nodded. "Yes, a heart in love, a heart in pain, a heart filled with regret they all beat differently. My son's heart beats so strongly with love I felt it before I even examined him and that makes this old woman's heart extremely happy."

Tristen spent the rest of the day showing his mother around the Keep and introducing her to everyone while Sabrina and Varel caught up on the Arling business. When Tristen introduced her to Fergus his eyes flickered to Tristen and then to Fiona as huge smirk spread across his face.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Fiona," Fergus purred.

Tristen raised an eyebrow. He had never known Fergus to be prejudiced against mages or elves, but his behavior was a bit peculiar. Fergus could see his anxiousness and hastily explained his reaction. "I'm sorry, I hope I didn't give you the impression that I'm intolerant, it couldn't be further from the truth. I just envisioned the faces of the nobles when they find out that the last two men of the Theirin line have both elven and mage blood. Oh that's rich!"

Fiona giggled a bit, but then became serious. "As much as I would love to see that too, I don't believe it's wise to announce who their mother is. It will cause instability in a nation that is still struggling to recover and it will make it even more difficult for Alistair to rule."

"Very true and wisely spoken, Fiona," Fergus said in agreement.

"I don't know if you will be able to convince Alistair to deny who his mother is when he has spent his life having his father deny his existence. Family means too much to him. I get the impression he would tell the nobles they can stick the Theirin throne where the sun doesn't shine before he would deny the existence of his mother," Tristen stated matter-of-factly.

Both Fergus and Fiona laughed. "Yes, I could see that; he definitely has some of Maric in him and he can be very stubborn. We will need to convince him that this is in everyone's best interests if he doesn't public acknowledge you. Privately is fine, but not in front of the nobles," Fergus stated.

"It's still going to be a tough sell, but we can try," Tristen replied.

That evening at dinner Sabrina introduced Fiona to her fellow Wardens and with the mage's permission Sabrina told them of Fiona's encounter with the Architect. By the end of the tale, every pair of eyes were on the tiny elf amazed and astounded at her story.

Oghren was the first to react. He walked up to her, took out a bottle and poured her a glass, "This is Mackay's Epic Single Malt. This whiskey is older than the Maker, smoother than an Elven baby's butt and packs more of a wallop than an Antivan whore. You have earned it."

Zevran quickly countered. "Packs more of a wallop the an Antivan whore? Well my friend I must say, that is really saying something coming from a dwarf like you. Didn't Felsi knock you on your ass a few times? She does pack a surprising wallop."

Oghren just laughed and said. "Not as hard as Branka but with her, it was usually accompanied by a foot up the arse."

Sabrina laughed as Tristen replied, "That's high praise coming from a dwarf."

Fiona nodded at Oghren. She took a sip and smiled. "You are definitely right about the Elven baby butt. That is extremely smooth. Thank you, my friend."

For the first…ever Tristen saw Oghren blush at the compliment. He had to smile, his mother had that effect on everyone.

"I want to hear another story!" Anders exclaimed like a little kid. He turned to Sabrina, "Commander, you never have told us a firsthand account of how the Archdemon was slain."

Tristen noticed her shift uncomfortably in her chair. She didn't like to talk about the battle on top of Fort Drakon. As a matter of fact she had never even told him the complete story.

"Yes, I believe we would all be honored if you told the tale," Fergus said.

Sabrina smiled uneasily, "Well, I think Zev should tell the tale. He always makes it sound so much more glamorous then it really was."

"One of my favorite stories of how the beautiful Grey Warden and her handsome assassin killed the Archdemon…"

Oghren smacked Zev on the back, "Brother, need I remind you that I was there as was Wynne and that so called Hero Loghain."

At the mention of Loghain's name Fiona snorted and Oghren chuckled. "So I take it you're not a fan of the infamous general either and not upset over his death?"

Fiona grunted, "I am only upset that the man had the nerve to die before I had a chance to add his balls as an ornament to my staff."

The whole room burst into laughter. "Oh Tristen, I like her. We must keep her around," Zev insisted.

Tristen winked at his mother and replied, "Oh, I'll do my best."

Zev looked over at Oghren, "So you want me to tell the real version of the story."

Oghren nodded, "And don't be adding the ending where you get the pretty girl. We all know that it didn't happen like that."

Zev let out a long sigh. "But that version really has the best ending, but if you insist, I will tell the correct and boring version." Zev then launched into a much more dramatic tale of how they battled their way through to the top of the Fort to confront the Archdemon. Tristen's heart had been racing as Zev worked his way through the tale, even though he had already known the outcome. It frightened him down to his bones how close he had come to never meeting Sabrina. When Zev had finished, all eyes were on Sabrina as if she was the reincarnation of Andraste herself. Tristen squeezed her hand reassuringly.

Fergus leaned over and whispered, "Bean, was it really that bad or was Zev just exaggerating?"

Sabrina's face was sad as she murmured gravely, "It was worse." Tristen's heart nearly stopped at those three little words and Fergus' face went completely pale at the realization of how terrible that final battle had really been, and how close he had come to losing his sister.

Sabrina composed herself and feigned a superficial smile, she turned to Fiona and warmly asked, "Fiona would you honor us with tales of the Orlesian Wardens."

Fiona realized that Zev's tale had brought up unpleasant memories and she quickly nodded and began to tell them about the Wardens in Orlais. They drank and told stories late into the night and as they made their way up the backstairs to the Commander's chambers, Tristen pushed Sabrina against the wall and pressed against her. He ran his fingers through her hair as he drew her face to his.

"I can't believe how close I came to losing you, before I ever met you," he breathed against her lips.

"But you didn't and here I am," she sighed breathlessly.

"Yes, here you are," and he groaned as his mouth captured and hungrily devoured hers. He ran his hands down her back to her firm bottom and he gasped as he pulled her up against him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and with her firmly secured, he got them to her rooms where he passionately and vigorously showed her how glad he was that she survived the final battle.

The following morning Tristen, Sabrina, Fiona and Fergus met in the stables for a day of hunting in the surrounding forest. They were just about to mount up when a messenger frantically ran up to them and announced that the City of Amaranthine was under attack by darkspawn.

"When did these attacks start?" Sabrina demanded.

"Just about two hours before dawn," the messenger replied.

Sabrina turned to Tristen, "Wake up Nate, Oghren, Tess, Sigrun, and Anders. They will accompany you and I into the City. Justice and Velanna will remain here with Zev and he is in charge of the Wardens during our absence. Fergus you must wake your men and get ready to leave immediately. You can ride with us till we reach the North Road."

"I'm not going anywhere, Bean. My men and I can stay here in case you need reinforcements in the City," Fergus said stubbornly.

"NO!" She exclaimed, then she drew in a deep breath to calm herself. "You need to head back to Highever Castle immediately, Fergus. What if the darkspawn attack there? Your people need their Teyrn with them," Sabrina argued and Fergus reluctantly nodded, conceding her point.

"Good, I need everyone ready to leave within the hour," Sabrina commanded as she spun on her heels and ran back into the Keep.

Tristen and Fiona watched her departure. Fiona had a slight grin on her face, "I like her. I really do. The girl's got spunk, and she is very level headed. I can see why you love her, my son," she said.

Tristen hugged his mom and the two of them hurried into the Keep.

**xxXxx**

Alistair stood on top of the hill that overlooked Vigil's Keep. It looked as if the Keep had taken serious damage and from the sounds of it there was still a battle raging. He pulled his sword and shield and gave the order for his guard to charge forward.

As they entered the courtyard, Alistair felt the veil ripple as a very powerful mage battled at least half a dozen darkspawn on her own. There were already countless darkspawn bodies scattered at her feet. Alistair saw Zev fighting numerous foes on the battlements and he felt several Wardens in the midst of combat. Alistair charged towards the mage as he fought through a wave. As he drew closer he saw that not only was the mage casting spell after spell, but she wielded a sword as well as any one of his guards. She was very impressive to watch.

When she had disposed of the last darkspawn she turned toward Alistair, he grinned at her. "Did you kill all of those by yourself? That's very impressive."

"What did you think I was going to do, invite them for cigars and brandy?" Fiona asked.

Alistair laughed. "No, the Commander would be very upset if you shared her brandy with darkspawn."

Alistair removed his helm and he heard the woman gasp and was concerned as she rocked back on her heels.

"Are you okay?" Alistair asked.

Before she could answer the bell in the tower sounded, signaling the arrival of another Warden. Seconds later Sigrun rode hard through the gates. She didn't even acknowledge that she saw Alistair. She looked directly at the mage, "Tristen has been gravely injured. He won't make it to the Keep, I need you to come with me immediately."

Alistair felt fear stir through him. "What do you mean he was gravely injured? How?"

"Your majesty, I didn't see you there."

Alistair just waved her off. "That isn't important just quickly give us your report."

"We were attacked by a darkspawn scouting party on our way back from the city. They outnumbered us three to one; we were already exhausted from the assault on the city and they just overpowered us. Tess is with him now, but we need a mage immediately."

"Where is the Commander?" Alistair asked.

"She took Nate, Oghren and Anders with her to fight the Mother and the Architect. She sent Tristen, Tess and I back here to help defend the Keep." Alistair felt panic begin to seep in. The two most important people in his life were in mortal peril. He looked over at the mage who looked visibly shaken.

She turned to Alistair, "Can you help me mount behind Sigrun?"

Alistair nodded as he assisted her up and he called for his horse, fully intending to go with them. Sigrun glared at him "You know the Commander would have a fit, Your Majesty, you are needed here" she stated implacably. Alistair opened his mouth to argue and shut it again with a snap and nodded.

He heard the mage say, "Take me to my son."

Sigrun expertly got the horse turned and raced out of the Keep. _Her son_…_bloody hell that was Fiona._

For the next two hours Alistair kept himself busy helping with the wounded or clearing debris as he waited for Fiona to return with Tristen. Finally the bell in the tower rang out as three horses galloped into the quadrant. Tess had Tristen in her arms. He looked pale from the loss of blood and his head just lolled lifelessly back and forth. Alistair ran over while ordering a stretcher be brought, and Tess eased Tristen down into his arms, then he gently lowered him to the ground.

Once the stretcher arrived, Tristen was moved on to it gently and when the men picked him up, they asked where he should be taken.

"To the Commander's chambers," Zev said as he approached from behind. "Don't you agree your Majesty," He asked dryly.

"Yes, that is where he belongs," Alistair replied matter of factly.

Alistair watched as Fiona tirelessly worked on Tristen for hours. Finally she fell into a chair completely exhausted.

Alistair quietly approached her. "Is he going to make it?"

Fiona looked at him with such sadness, "I don't know. Several vital organs were injured. I've done my best to heal them, but I can't get the bleeding to stop. All I can do is regain my strength and continue to work on him."

"Do you need me to get you more lyrium?" Alistair asked.

"No, thank you Alistair, I have plenty," she replied.

Alistair had to suppress a smile. Now was not the time for enjoyment, but he loved how his mother said his name. It wasn't because of her accent. It was because it was said with such love and affection. He looked over at the tiny elf and found that she was watching him. She had a slight grin on her face.

"I have dreamed of the day that I would lay eyes on you again, my son," Fiona said.

"I am just sorry it's under these circumstances," Alistair replied.

"So am I," she said as she clasped his hands and squeezed. They held hands for a very long time until she had gathered her strength and began casting healing spells again.

This went on for days with little improvement. Alistair had pulled two large chairs together in the corner and had just fallen asleep when he heard the door slam open.

Alistair's eyes flew open. Silhouetted in the doorway, dirty and covered head to toe in dried blood was Sabrina. She gasped when she saw Tristen's lifeless body on her bed.

With a low cry of despair, she ran to him, hovering next to the bed, not knowing whether she could touch him, desperately needing to. She turned to Fiona who was sitting on the edge of the bed, her head bowed with exhaustion and gently rested her hand on the mage's shoulder, "How is he Fiona?"

Fiona stirred weakly and spoke softly, "I have been able to heal all of his injuries and was able to get bleeding to stop. He should have woken up by now, but he hasn't. The only thing I can conclude is that he lost a lot more blood than I assumed and it is taking his body longer to heal and replenish it."

Alistair stood and helped Fiona from the bed, gently persuading her that she needed to rest and they would fetch her immediately if Tristen needed her.

Sabrina nodded her agreement. "Thank you," she whispered as she gently crawled up on the bed next to Tristen, curling up beside him and resting her head on his chest.

As Alistair quietly made his way out of the room with Fiona, he heard her hushed sobs as she softly begged him to come back to her. Just when he thought he was over the pain, the sight of seeing her so emotionally distraught over his brother's well being, sent a new wave of anguish through him. As much as he wanted to believe that Tristen was just a passing fling, he could no longer deny that she loved him after witnessing such a raw display of grief.

He knew the heartache she was feeling and what she was going through. He had felt the exact same way when he stood vigil over her for two weeks after she had battled the Archdemon. Although for him, those two weeks were filled with a lot of emotional ups and downs as his anger towards her continued to grow, but his need for her live remained strong.

Once he had seen Fiona comfortable in bed, Alistair made his way to his own room, he crawled on the bed and he was asleep before his head even touched the pillow.

_Alistair stood in an open field. He turned around__ and saw that the Keep was behind him. There was a path that led to a grove of oak trees and he headed down towards it. Standing under a tree was Tristen and Alistair quickly made his way over to his brother. _

"_Tristen, what are you doing here?"_

_Triste__n looked at him for a moment and a confused look settled across his face, "Who are you?"_

_Alistair felt like someone had just slapped him in the face. "What do you mean who am I? I'm your brother, Alistair."_

_Tristen pondered this for a moment, "Then who __am I?"_

"_You're Tristen Theirin, son to Fiona, you're my twin brother, you're a Grey Warden and your S-Sabrina's love," Alistair answered._

"_Who's Sabrina?"_

"_Oh bloody hell," Alistair grasped Tristen's hand. He thought really hard of the room he had left__ and the image of Sabrina sobbing into Tristen's chest. _

_The scene changed and they were in Sabrina's chamber. She was curled up beside Tristen as she pleaded with him to come back. _

_Tristen looked at the scene, but no recognition registered on his fa__ce. "She's very pretty. Why is she so sad?"_

_Un-fucking-believable! Alistair couldn't believe this was happening. Had he lost so much blood that it caused complete memory loss?_

"_That, my brother, is Sabrina, and she l-loves you very much. She is sad b__ecause you were seriously injured during a battle and she is afraid you are going to die." _

"_She's so sad. It's heartbreaking to watch. Can we go somewhere else?" _

_Alistair nodded. He concentrated on the dream that had taken place on the bluffs and the__ scene changed. The two brothers watched the playful scene between Tristen and Sabrina unfold before them as the two young lovers lightheartedly teased each other._

"_They seem very happy," Tristen said._

_Alistair nodded sadly. "Yes, they do."_

_Tristen had__ just grabbed Sabrina's foot, she had fallen down beside him and Tristen rolled on top of her. _

_His brother beside him laughed, "He is definitely good with the ladies."_

_Alistair just groaned. _

"_This is vaguely familiar. Can you show me something else__?"_

_Andraste's arse on a cracker, he was beginning to feel like one of the ghosts from that Twelfth Night story. He was beginning to run out of the clean dreams and he sure as hell didn't want to visit the dirty ones. He recalled a recent dream that he'd__ shared with Tristen and Alistair concentrated on the bonfire._

_Tristen took her hand and began to twirl her around the fire. _

_Alistair heard his brother gasp, "She's breathtaking."_

_Alistair looked at her and ached to hold her on last time. "Yes, she is.__"_

_Oh the Maker has a real sense of humor if he was making him go through this as part of his atonement. _

"_I was beginning to think you didn't know how to dance," Sabrina said. _

"_Oh I just wanted all those poor sobs to believe that they actually had a s__hot with you," Tristen chortled. _

"_He loves her too…he loves her deeply," his brother observed._

"_Not he…that's you! You love her deeply," Alistair corrected. _

_Sabrina giggled. "Oh and you think you do?" _

"_I know I do," Tristen sighed into her ear __and he felt a tremor pass through her. _

"_Did your body react like that when those other men held you in their arms?" _

"_And she loves him…I mean me," Tristen replied. _

_Alistair felt the tears prickle at his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he__ fought them off. "Yes, as I said earlier. She loves you very much, Tristen. You have to fight your way out of this and back to her._

_Tristen took Sabrina's hand to lead her away from the crowd into the woods nearby. _

_Alistair felt his brother begin t__o follow the couple down the path, but Alistair grabbed his arm. He had no desire to relive that part of the dream. "We don't need to follow them. Let's give them their privacy."_

_Tristen watched them and then whispered, "Oooo."_

_Alistair was about to l__ead them to another memory when he felt the pull and Tristen brought them back to the tree in the field, but this time they weren't alone. This was a new memory and obviously one that meant a great deal to him since this was where Alistair had found him. _

_Alistair and his brother watched the couple underneath the tree. _

_Sabrina slid onto his lap and straddled him, she cupped his face in her hands and looked directly into his eyes, "You used your dreams to save me. You came after me to get me away from D__enerim. You used the knowledge from your dreams to try and help me heal from all the pain. You used the information from your dreams to love me like no man has ever loved me. I know you didn't betray me, Tristen because I know your heart. You're a good__ man, a good man that I want to spend the rest of my life loving."_

"_W-what are you saying, Brin?"_

_Alistair felt his heart stop as pain tore through it and rippled through his body. He leaned against the tree as he tried to support himself. _

_His __brother was oblivious to Alistair's struggle to remain on his feet. Tristen circled the couple and then a smile began to spread across his face, "Yes, this is familiar. This is good. My heart is beating with anticipation of what she is about to say, eve__n though I know what she will say, yet I yearn to hear it again."_

_Hell, Alistair had a pretty good idea what was coming and it was the last thing he wanted to hear. _

_Sabrina smiled and leaned in so that her lips were only inches from his as she whispered__, "I'm telling you Tristen Theirin that I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you."_

_Alistair felt his knees give out and he went down painfully. Alistair had started to come to terms with the f__act that she would never be a part of his life again…not like this. He had begun to accept that he would spend the rest of his life loving her from afar. He had accepted that Anora was his wife, his Queen and now his future. But hearing her speak those __words felt like someone was slowly driving a dagger through his heart. _

_Before Alistair even realized what was happening the scene shifted and they were back in Sabrina's chambers as she wept against his brother's chest. _

"_Tristen, my Love, you have to__ come back to me. I need you. I can't do this without you. Please, I've lost too much. My heart can't take losing you too. Please, please," she heartbreakingly begged. _

_Alistair heard his brother beside him gasp as he cried out, "Oh Brin, I'm so sorry__. The last thing I ever wanted to do was cause you pain."_

_Alistair looked at him, "You remember."_

_Tristen smiled at him, "Yes!"_

The room faded and Alistair jerked awake. He leapt out of bed and raced down the hall to Sabrina's room and as he dashed into the room he saw Sabrina crying, but they were tears of joy as she hugged Tristen.

Alistair walked over to the bed, Tristen looked up at him weakly and smiled. "Thank you, Brother. I know that couldn't have been easy for you."

Alistair smiled, feeling an odd mixture of joy to see his brother awake and the pain of what he had just had to go through, to bring him back, "You have _no_ idea. You owe me big time!"

A/N - **I wanted to thank everyone for your reviews and for adding this story to your alert and favs list. **** Please continue to share your thoughts with me. It's wonderful hearing your thoughts and comments. **

***I want to thank R****andomWittering**** and Jinx1983 for their Beta awesomeness. I appreciate all of your help and insight. You ladies are the best!**


	17. Chapter 17 Love you till the end

**Warning: This chapter has minor DA2 spoilers. It's nothing too bad, but I wanted to give you a heads up. **  
**Chapter 17**

"I just want to tell you nothing, you don't want to hear, all I want is for you to say  
Why don't you just take me, where I've never been before  
I know you want to hear me, catch my breath, I love you till the end

I just want to be there, when we're caught in the rain, I just want to see you laugh not cry  
I just want to feel you, when the night puts on its cloak, I'm lost for words don't tell me,

All I can say, I love you till the end"

_Love you till the end, by The Pogues_

Sabrina sat in her study and reflected on the events of the past several days. It had been one hell of a week; The City of Amaranthine had been saved, The Vigil had taken heavy damages but the reinforcements had held and the Keep survived the attack. Kristoff's body had been found, but after the dust had settled, there had been no sign of Justice and Velanna. The belief was that both had perished in the fierce fighting that had taken place. She, along with Oghren, Nate and Anders had managed to kill both the Mother and the Architect and they had gathered all of the Architect's notes they could find there. Sabrina decided to send them to Avernus at Soldier's Peak to see if he could continue the research. Alistair still remained at the Keep, helping Varel go over the damage so that the Crown could offer assistance with the rebuilding. Fergus had arrived three days ago to offer aid for both the Keep and the City.

Earlier today, Anders had come to her study and asked to speak to her in private. Ever since his return from Drake's Fall he had been quiet, distant…almost brooding. She had tried to pull him out of his shell, but the lighthearted banter that two of them had so often shared just rolled over him.

_The sun was shining brightly through the window in her office; a complete contrast to the solemn mage that sat in front of her. He told her that he needed some time t__o come to come to terms with the issues from his past. He said that he cared about her too much, that they had been through too much together for him to just leave her without a word, but he needed work out some things on his own for a while. When she pres__sed him harder for details she saw his normally chocolate brown eyes flickered with a blue lights; moving at lightning speed, Sabrina had slid across the desk, her hand grabbed the dagger that had been sitting beside her, before Anders could even react she__ grasped his hand and slit his palm open._

_Anders jerked it back, jumped to his feet, and started healing himself, "What the fuck did you do that for?"_

"_I wanted to make sure that you weren't possessed. If you had been possessed, the demon would have defend__ed itself," Sabrina explained._

"_Yes, I know that. Maker's cock, Commander why would you think I'm possessed?"_

"_Because just now as I pressed you, your eyes flashed blue," Sabrina said skeptically._

_Anders hung his head and shook it earnestly. "It's not what__ you think, I promise. I am fine…I'm not __possessed. Like I said I need to work through some things. Give me time, I will come back and I will explain everything."_

_Sabrina grasped his shoulders and looked directly into his eyes, "Anders, I love you like a b__rother. If you're in some kind of trouble you can trust me. I would go into the Fade itself to save you if I needed to."_

_Anders laughed. "I know you would, Bree. You would risk everything for those you love and that is one of the things that I love about y__ou the most . I am fine. I just need to work through this on my own, then I will explain it all to you. I promise you, I will come back. I'm not crazy about the whole darkspawn, Deep Roads, tainted blood thing, but I will come back for you."_

_Sabrina hugged__ him and he enthusiastically returned the hug. "I'm going to hold you to that promise, Anders. Don't make me come hunt you down."_

"_You can hunt me down if you dress up in a skimpy leather templar's uniform and we can play Bad Mage meets Mistress Templar-Sp__ank-A-Lot," Anders cooed seductively._

_Sabrina pushed him back, "I'll give you Mistress Spank-A-Lot as I crack my whip against your perverted arse."_  
_Anders laughed and wickedly grinned at her. "I'm going to hold you to that, Commander. It might be worth hav__ing you hunt me down if you're showing up dressed like that."_

"_Don't make me cut you again," Sabrina said as she took her seat behind her desk once again. "So where will you go?"_

"_Kirkwall, I have a friend there," Anders replied._

"_Kirkwall! They aren't __known for being Mage friendly, Anders. Are you sure you want to go there?"_

"_Yes, as I said I have a friend there and I am concerned about him."_

"_Please be careful, Anders, and if you need anything please let me know," Sabrina said._

"_I promise, Bree, I will__," Anders replied and a worried look creased his brow._

_Sabrina studied him for a moment, but decided not to push the issue. "So when are you leaving? Your fellow Wardens will want to say good-bye."_

"_I don't want a big to-do so I will be packing tonight and__ I will say my individual good-byes during the day today, so I can have an early start in the morning," Anders replied._

_Sabrina felt the shock and pain of the news roll right through her. "Tomorrow morning! So soon?" She __whispered._

"_Yes, I need to go," And__ers paused and stared at her for a long time before he continued. "Bree, you have taught me what it means to be loyal and devoted to others; to be willing lay down your life for_ _those you love. I never experienced that, until I met you. You believed and tr__usted me when you didn't have to. I give you my word, Commander, I will come back."_

_Before she could reply, Anders gave her a wink, then spun on his heels, he glanced over his shoulder, blew her a kiss and walked out the door. Sabrina hadn't expected to fe__el the loss so deeply, but as his robes billowed out of sight she burst into tears._

Thinking of Anders' departure and hopefully only temporary absence, along with the loss of Justice and Velanna was enough for her eyes to fill again. Almost losing Tristen was just too much, Sabrina came to the realization that life was way too short to spend second guessing one's self. After she had dried her eyes, she raced down to her chambers. Tristen had stayed in her bed while he continued to recover.  
As she entered the room she glanced around, he was alone and awake. She swiftly walked across the room, crawled onto the bed and slid into Tristen's lap. He laughed in surprise.

"Mmmm, I like this. This is exactly what I need to aid in my recuperation," he muttered as he pulled her closer to him, buried his face into the side of her neck and began to feather kisses all the way down to her collar bone.

She let out a little whimper as his lips and tongue found that spot where her neck and shoulder met that always turned her to putty in his hands when he stroked his lips there. She forced herself to pull away. He groaned when his mouth left her skin.

She smiled at him; she ran her fingers through his hair and looked deeply into his eyes. "Tristen, do you remember that day we spent beneath that oak tree in the pasture?"

Tristen laughed, "Do I remember it? It's seared into my brain. It's in my top five best days ever."

"Really? Top five best days ever, huh? Where does it sit on the list?"

His eyes flared with desire as he ran his hands down her back and cupped her bottom, "It sits proudly in the number one spot."

She smiled radiantly at him, "Why is that your number one?"

"Because it was the first time that you ever told me that you loved me," he replied as his hands continued to caress and rub her behind and lower back.

Her eyes sparkled as she leaned in and sighed breathlessly against his lips, "What else did I tell you that day?"

Tristen paused in his exploration of her body; he thought for a moment and then whispered, "You said you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me."

She grinned at him. "Yes, and I meant that wholeheartedly. I almost lost you, Tristen. I have faced a lot of frightening things in my lifetime, but none of those things paralyzed me with fear the way not having you by my side did. I love you, Tristen Theirin. I will love you till the day I die and on that day I want to die as Sabrina Theirin. I know that you are the one that is supposed to ask me, but I just couldn't wait. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I want the rest of my life to start now. Tristen, will you marry me?"

Tristen burst into laughter, "Only you, my Love, would be so impatient and impulsive as to burst in here and ask me to marry you."

Sabrina leaned back and pouted, "I ask you to marry me and instead of giving me an answer, you laugh at me and then reprimand me."

"Is my backpack still in here from when they carried me into your room?" Tristen asked. Sabrina nodded. Tristen kissed her pouty lips, "Can you get it for me?"

Sabrina slid off his lap, retrieved the bag from the corner and handed it to him. He smiled that sexy grin of his as he patted his lap. "Would you please settle your irresistibly alluring body back in my lap?"

She did as he asked. He quickly rummaged through his bag and pulled a small box out. He smiled so lovingly and tenderly at her that it melted her heart. "My impatient Soleil, I have known since I first glimpsed you in a dream that you were the only woman I would ever ask to be my wife. I was not sure if our circumstances would ever allow that to happen, but I knew from the very beginning that I only wanted you. It's always only been you. Love doesn't seem to be a strong enough word to accurately express how I feel about you. From the very depths of my being I adore you, you are everything to me and I can't imagine not having you in my life. Sabrina, would you do me the honor of being my wife?"

Tristen opened the box, he pulled out the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. In a platinum setting, a large square cut diamond sat in the center, the band was encircled with alternating ruby and diamond baguettes that encircle the entire band. Tristen looked up at her and smiled patiently and she realized that she hadn't answered.

She giggled, "Well, I thought my answer was obvious, but just so there isn't any misunderstanding, I would love to be your wife, Tristen."

He slid the ring on her finger then his hands laced through her hair to the nape of her neck as he guided her lips to his. She greedily consumed his mouth as the feel of his lips beneath hers intoxicated her, causing her head to spin and her stomach to tighten. She slid her tongue along his bottom lip as she savored the soft feel of his velvety lips. He parted his mouth and their tongues danced and intertwined together as a fire licked through her, deep and low. Maker, he tasted so good, she wanted nothing more than to run her tongue and lips over every inch of his body. She pressed her body against his forcing a guttural groan to escape from the back of his throat.

"My dear Tristen, I have come to…" Anders voiced faded as he entered the room.

Shocked, Sabrina flew out of Tristen's lap, leaping off the bed as she yelped in surprise, "Have you ever heard of knocking?"

"Knock? Why would I knock when the door is wide open?" Anders asked as a grin spread across his face. "That templar role playing game really got the juices going, didn't it? I always knew you were a kinky little Commander."

"Anders," Tristen grunted in frustration as the romantic moment with Brin had been disturbed and he didn't like what the frisky mage was implying. "You're lucky I don't have all of my strength back or I would punch you in your dirty, little mage's mouth," Tristen declared as he slid to the side of the bed.

"Well, it looks like the most important part of your strength is back," Anders laughed as he nodded to Tristen's groin and his growing _strength._

"Is there a reason you're here?" Tristen demanded as he pulled a pillow onto his lap.

"Yes as a matter of fact there is, I have come to say farewell..."

Tristen stared in confusion. "Farewell? What are you talking..."

"Anders," Sabrina interrupted as she walked around the side of the bed. "I know that you had your heart set on leaving tomorrow, but Tristen just asked me to marry him and I've accepted."

"Aaah, so that was a celebratory snog. Congratulations," Anders said.

"Thank you, listen I think I speak for Tristen…" she glanced at her betrothed and smiled.

"Wow, it starts so soon. Barely become betrothed and they immediately start speaking for you," Anders observed.

"Would you be quiet for a minute and let me speak?" She grinned while saying.

Anders nodded so she continued. "Would you be willing to delay your plans to leave by a few days? I believe that neither one of us wants a large wedding." She looked at Tristen again and he nodded.

"So since Fergus, Alistair and Fiona are already here I would love if we had a small wedding in the pasture behind the Keep with just our close family and friends gathered. I'm sure that Varel and Mistress Woolsey could have a small intimate affair pulled together in two to three days. Please stay for that Anders. It wouldn't be the same without you here," Sabrina pleaded.

Anders smiled, "Of course I will stay. How could I not?"

Sabrina hugged him. "Thank you."

"Anders, could you hold off saying anything to anyone until after I had a chance to tell Alistair and my mother?" Tristen asked.

"Sure not a problem and I won't mention it to Fergus either," Anders replied.

"Oh he is already aware," Tristen said nonchalantly.

"He is?" Sabrina questioned.

"Yes, I asked his permission months ago. I nearly wanted to kick him under the table when he asked about me making an honest woman out of you," Tristen said. He patted the bed for her to join him and she sat down beside him. Tristen looked at Anders and he took the hint.

"Well, if you will excuse me, I have some people to inform that I'm not leaving yet. Congratulations again, you two," Anders said as he quickly left the room, closing the door behind him.

He took her hand and looked at the ring on her finger. "Fergus told me that your mother rarely wore her wedding band and engagement ring, that she only wore them during social occasions; he said that for everyday use she wore a simple gold band so the night that Howe attacked the castle she wasn't wearing her rings. While cleaning the castle, Fergus found a tiny vault in the basement that Howe's men didn't find. Once he had the vault cracked he found your mother's rings in there. When I asked his permission to marry you and he agreed, he gave me the rings. The original rings were set in gold bands and I know that it's not your favorite, so I had the stones removed and placed in a new setting for you."

Tears slid down her cheeks, "I thought there was something vaguely familiar about it. Thank you, Tristen." She leaned in and kissed his cheek.

He slid his arm around her waist and pulled her back on his lap. "Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted," Tristen whispered just before his lips devoured hers.

**XxXxx**  
In the field behind the Keep, Tristen stood off to the side of the dais and looked at the picturesque scene before him. How Varel had managed to pull together such a lovely event in five days when both the city and Keep were in the midst of recovering was beyond him, but the man was a miracle worker. Tristen knew that Fergus sent for assistance from Highever to help with the preparations.

There were six round tables clustered together but with enough room to create a center aisle that led to a small dais at the front where the ceremony would take place and later where the band would play. The tables had ivory linens and colorful, fresh cut wild flowers from this very field. There were hundreds of candles everywhere - they were on the tables, the stage and tall pillar candles and candelabras lined the perimeter of the space creating the illusion of a closed in area. Since their wedding was taking place right before dusk, all of the candles would be a necessity once the sun had set. A large sheer curtain had been hung at the back between two trees so that Sabrina could approach without anyone seeing her.  
Tristen fidgeted with the sleeves of his ivory and gold doublet as he tried to adjust it again.

"Would you leave that damn thing alone? You look fine," Alistair said.

"Sorry, just nervous," Tristen sighed.

_When Tristen had told Alistair that they were getting married and asked if he could stay for a few more days in order to attend, Tristen was shocked by how well Alistair had received the news. It was a__s if he had been expecting the announcement. What had stunned him even more was that Alistair had volunteered to stand as Tristen's best man and witness. He had wanted to ask his brother to be his best man, but he didn't want to hurt Alistair or to be inse__nsitive to his brother's feelings. _

"_I would be delighted to have my brother stand with me. You do realize that Brin asked Zev to be her best man too,"__ Tristen said._

_Alistair furrowed his eyebrows. "Isn't the bride supposed to have a maid of honor?"_

"_Yes, but since Brin's best friend is Zev she wanted him to stand with her," Tristen replied._

"_Is he going to wear a dress?" Alistair asked._

_Tristen laughed.__ "I don't think so unless you would be more comfortable if he did so that it wouldn't seem so awkward when the two of you dance together." _

"_What! I am not dancing with Zev wearing a…" Alistair began to exclaim before he looked at Tristen's face. They both__ laughed as the pictured Zev in a dress dancing with Alistair. _

"What are you nervous about? You love her, right?" Alistair asked. Tristen nodded.

"And you know s-she loves you, right?" Alistair asked. Tristen nodded.

Alistair rested his hands on Tristen's shoulders and smiled warmly at him. "Then you have nothing to be nervous about, my Brother, there is no better way to make this journey than with someone you love and who loves you in return."

Just then the string quartet began to play softly in the background as everyone took their seats at the tables. The Revered Mother walked down the center aisle and up the stairs of the dais. From either side of the dais Alistair and Zev walked out and stepped up on the first step of the platform, then Tristen walked out to the center and turned toward the aisle.

From the candles and setting sun, he saw two figures approach the sheer curtain; two servants gently pulled the drapes apart to reveal Fergus and Sabrina. All three men at the dais drew in a sharp breath as Sabrina slowly started to make her way toward them. She looked absolutely stunning. Her dress was made of silk, dark ivory with gold accents on the bodice and an ivory sash that sat on her hips with gold embroidering on it. The gown had a drop waist and the bodice clung tightly from her breasts to her hips so that it emphasized the swell of her breasts, the curve of her hips and accented her tiny waist. Below her hips the material billowed and moved fluidly around her as she floated towards him. For the sleeves there were thin thin pieces of silk wrapped around her biceps with long sheer arms that looked like bells as she held her flowers in front of her. She wore her long dark tresses down that curled around her beautiful face. Her eyes twinkled as she looked at him, her gaze never leaving his.

Alistair leaned over and whispered, "Breathe." And Tristen realized that he had been holding his breath as he watched his bride make her way to him. His bride…he couldn't believe that he was about to marry the woman of his dreams.

Fergus and Sabrina stopped inches away from the dais. "Who gives this woman away?" The Revered Mother asked.

"I do," Fergus replied and the Revered Mother nodded.

Fergus leaned in, kissed Sabrina's cheek, "I love you, Bean."

Sabrina smiled, "I love you too, Fergus."

Fergus then placed Sabrina's hand in his and held it out for Tristen. Tristen reached for her hand, but Fergus paused and looked directly into Tristen's eyes, "I am entrusting you with the person that I hold dearest to me. Take good care of her."

Tristen never wavered, "I give you my word Fergus, that I will protect her, love her and care for her until I breathe my last breath." Fergus nodded and took a seat as Tristen led Sabrina up the stairs to stand in front of the Revered Mother.

The Revered Mother read from the chant of light and she talked about the bond between a husband and wife, but Tristen didn't hear a word of it. He was only focused on the incredibly beautiful woman who was about to become his wife. At the appropriate times they exchanged vows and rings and before he knew it they were facing their family and friends as the Revered Mother said, "For the first time ever, I would like to introduce you to the Arl and Arlessa of Amaranthine, Tristen and Sabrina Theirin."

A large cheer went up from the crowd as the couple made their way back down the aisle.

**XxXxx**  
Alistair sipped his ale as he watched Tristen spin his wife around on the dance floor. Tristen looked like the happiest man in all of Thedas and as Sabrina gazed at her new husband her eyes sparkled with so much passion and love that it caused his heart to ache. He loved both of them, he wanted them to be happy and at the same time, he just wanted the pain to stop. Would it ever stop?

He felt the veil shift and warmth of magic wash over him. It encircled him, giving him comfort, security and love. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder; he looked over as his mother slipped into the chair beside him.

"I can feel your pain, my son. I know you love her and I know how hard it's been for you to be so supportive of your brother, but it has meant a great deal to him to have you here. You only recently found out about him, but he has known about you all of his life. He wanted to have a relationship with you for just as long. Having you here today, on a day that will probably the most important in his life means everything to him. I am very proud of you, Alistair, you have shown remarkable maturity."

Alistair didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say so he just nodded.

"Alistair, would you have traded the time that you spent with her if it meant that you didn't have to endure this pain?"

"Yes!...No…I don't know. There are times I just want to forget that I ever met her, forget the time that we spent together," Alistair groaned.

Fiona laughed softly, "And if you could forget her, would you?"

Alistair thought long and hard about the question before he answered. He shook his head. "No, it was the best time of my life. For the first time ever, she made me feel loved, accepted and secure. She gave me the confidence to become who I am today. So no, I wouldn't trade that. It just hurts so much knowing that I still love her, but she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore."

Fiona smiled sadly, "Alistair, take it from a woman, you were Sabrina's first love; she will always love you and hold a special place in her heart for you. I have learned through the years that some people come into our lives briefly then depart quickly, leaving only a small imprint on us, while others stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and on our souls. Even if it's painful, it's those people that you want to have as many as possible in your life because even if the relationship ends, you will be glad that it was at least once yours."

Fiona reached over and reassuringly squeezed his hand. Alistair smiled at her. "Thank you."

"Anytime, now that I am finally here and a part of your life, I will be sorely put out if you don't turn to me for comfort and advice when you need it," Fiona replied warmly.

Just then Fergus raised his wine glass and clinked a fork against it. Once he had everyone's attention, he cleared his throat and began. "Before the happy couple take their leave for the evening I thought it would be nice to send them off with a few toasts from their close friends and family."

Fergus turned toward Bree and Tristen who now stood beside the stage. "Bean and Tristen, here is a little advice that I learned while I was married, in order to keep your marriage brimming with love, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut the hell up."

Fergus paused while everyone laughed. He then raised his glass, "Seriously, my greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least."

The crowd raised their glasses and cried out, "Hear, hear."

As Fergus stepped off the dais and embraced his brother-in-law, "Welcome to the family Tristen."

Tristen returned the hug, "Thank you, Fergus."

Zevran gracefully leapt onto the stage. "Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses and join me in a toast to Sabrina and Tristen. Nowadays, it takes a brave and strong man to achieve his dreams and goals in life, and in love. A man of intelligence, a man who isn't afraid to live life to its fullest, and embrace all that life has to offer. But enough about me… We're here to talk about Bree and Tristen, two amazing individuals who have come here today to join together in what will surely be a happy and lasting union. Mia Tesoro Amica…you look amazing tonight. Tristen is so very fortunate to have found such a spectacular woman to share his life with. I am so very honored to be here today, chosen by you, my best friend, for this important occasion. I wish you both peace and overflowing joy in your new lives together, and may the Maker bless you."

A loud cheer went up from the guests as Zev hugged the two of them. As Alistair made his way up to the dais, Oghren's loud voice bellowed out from a nearby table, "H-here's a toast to the newlyweds! I-I hope the only ups and downs you two have are b-between the sheets." A roar of laughter rose and Oghren took another gulp of ale right before his head hit the table.

Alistair laughed. "Well, I was worried about following Zev's eloquent speech, but I feel much better now because I can guarantee that I will be better than Oghren."

Alistair paused as he smiled at his brother and his _new wife_. Alistair raised his glass, "If you would all raise your glasses with me. Tristen and Bree, may the love you've expressed to each other today always be the first thoughts during any trying times in the future and may the joys you share today be the beginning of a lifetime of great happiness and fulfillment. May the light of friendship guide your paths together, may the joy of living for one another always bring a smile to your lips, and place a twinkle in your eye. May you live each day like it's your last, love each night like your first, may you grow old together on one pillow and may the two of you know nothing but happiness from this day forward."

The crowd stood up and cheered, "Hear, hear."

Alistair stepped down and embraced both Tristen and Sabrina. Finally Tristen stepped forward, "Sabrina and I want to thank all of you for sharing this very special day with us. It means so much to have the people that we love the most, here with us as we start our new lives together. There is plenty of wine and ale so please continue to enjoy the celebration."

Then to rousing cheers, Alistair watched somberly as Tristen scooped Sabrina up into his arms, kissed her passionately on the lips and then he carried his new bride back towards the Keep and to their new life together.

**Author's notes – Yay they finally have**** their happy ever after. Thank you to everyone that has been following this story I really hope that you are enjoying. We aren't done yet, but we are getting close. Thank you to everyone that has left a comment in my box. I love hearing your thoughts. **

***A ****big thanks t****o the randy minxes, RandomWittering and Jinx1983, for being the most shagadelic betas ever. You two are the best!**

***Last but certainly not least, a shout out to my good friends Warrose and Tess15216. You two are awesome ladies and I am privilege****d to know you.**


	18. Chapter 18 I'll Be Missing You

**Epilogue Part I**

"Every step I take, every move I make, every single day, every time I pray, I'll be missing you  
Thinkin' of the day, when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you

It's kinda hard with you not around, now you in heaven smilin' down  
Watchin' us while we pray for you, every day we pray for you  
Til the day we meet again, in my heart is where I'll keep you friend  
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed, strength I need to believe  
My thoughts Big, I just can't define, wish I could turn back the hands of time"  
_I'll Be Missing You by P. Diddy_

Sabrina stared out of her office window at the training ring below, watching Zevran run a batch of new recruits through various training exercises. It had been twenty-six years since she had met the assassin and she didn't think he had lost an ounce of speed or agility. He was a deadly graceful gazelle both in the sparring ring and on the battlefield. It had amazed her that Zev had remained true to his word and had never left her side. Oh he would disappear for short periods of time attending to some secret Crow business or attending to the needs of his latest sexual conquest, but he always came back to her. He had been her closest friend and confidant for so long she didn't know how she was going to say good-bye to him, let alone actually walk away from him.

"Commander, you wanted to see me?" a voice came from behind her that pulled her out of her thoughts. She turned around to see her second in command, Connor Guerrin, standing there. He had grown up to be such a handsome young man, an excellent mage and an outstanding Warden. On his death bed, Eamon had begged her to conscript Connor into the Wardens in order to get him away from the Circle; Sabrina gave her word that as long as Connor was aware of the dangers and was still willing to undergo the Joining she would honor his request. Eamon agreed to her terms and passed from this world into the next a very content man.

"Yes, Connor please come in and have a seat," Sabrina said as she gestured to the chairs in front of her desk. Connor took a seat as Sabrina sat down behind her desk in an official capacity for the last time.

"Connor, as you know tomorrow morning I will be leaving for Highever and then the Deep Roads." Connor shifted uncomfortably at the mention of her leaving.

"I had been hoping that this letter from Weisshaupt would arrive before I had to leave," she said as she waved a letter in her hand. "I am pleased to announce that starting tomorrow, you will be the new Commander of the Ferelden Grey Wardens."

Connor looked stunned and a huge grin spread across his face. "Wow, I can't believe it; thank you Sabrina, for having enough faith in me to continue the work that you started here."

"You've earned it, Connor. You have proven yourself over and over again and you deserve it. The Ferelden Wardens are in very capable hands. I will announce it tonight at dinner," Sabrina replied.

Connor paused and looked at her for a long moment, "Thank you, Bree for conscripting me from the circle, for being a mentor and a friend... for being my family. I'm going to miss you terribly. The Wardens won't be the same without you."

Sabrina smiled at him sadly. This had been her home for so long now, and the Wardens were her extended family. It was strange to think that she would no longer wander within these halls, spar in the training ring, eat, drink and socialize with the men and women she considered brothers and sisters.

"I'm going to miss you too, but as far as life with the Wardens go, I just hope that I have left my mark." For fear that she would start crying if the conversation continued down this path, she stood up to indicate that the meeting was over. "Now, Commander Guerrin it's your turn to leave your mark on the Wardens. I know you will do a wonderful job."

Connor came around to her side of the desk, hugged her and she fervently returned it. He kissed her cheek and then left the room. Sabrina quickly wiped a tear from her cheek and headed to her bedroom.

For the most part she was completely packed; she really didn't need to take much, just some clothes to change into, her armor, her swords and a few personal items. She sat down on the bed and picked up the tattered letter that she had left there earlier. She ran her hand lovingly over it as she flattened it out. She had read this letter a thousand times and for the past five years it had been her anchor, the only thing that kept her from joining him in the deep roads years before now. The ache in her heart would stop, the moment when she was back in his arms again and she would once again know peace.

_My Dearest Brin,_

_You are asleep beside me, you are making tha__t cute little murmuring sound you do when you are deeply asleep. I can't help but thank the Maker that he allowed me to share these past twenty years with you. As difficult as it is for me to leave you, I know that it is equally difficult for you to stay. __I know you want to take this journey with me, Brin, but now is not your time. Your journey is not over yet and you are needed here. Your Wardens need you, your country, your King and Fergus all still need you. But know this, my Love, that when your tim__e comes and that final blow falls, I will be there to welcome you with open arms. _

_Brin, you are my life, my heart, and my soul; you are my best friend, my beautiful wife and my one and only true love. These past years with you have been the happiest ye__ars of my life. You are amazing, Mon Soleil, you have given me joy, you have given me your unconditional love and you have given me exquisite pleasure. __I have lived a wonderful life because I had you in it and it is killing me to say good-bye to you. I __would trade my very soul to spend another twenty years with you. _

_But know this, Brin, that until I breathe my last breath I will long to be with you, to hold you, to gently touch your gorgeous face and cup your cheeks in my hands as I gaze into your lov__ely eyes. Until I breathe my last breath I will long to be close to you, to caress you, to feel you caress me and to be inside you. I adore you, Brin and until I breathe my last breath I will cherish and love you forever. _

_All of my love,_  
_Tristen_

Sabrina let out a long sad sigh as she thought about her last days with Tristen. At first, he had argued adamantly against her traveling to Orzammar with him. She knew that he feared that she would follow him into the Deep Roads, but finally after months of rationalizing, arguing, and then pleading he had finally conceded and allowed her to travel with him to Orzammar. It was a trip that should have taken no more than five days but took them two weeks and they cherished every last minute they had together.

Tristen knew her so well; better than she knew herself at times and he knew she wouldn't be able to let him go into the Deep Roads alone. So after they had spent the night fervently and passionately making love, he'd waited until she had fallen asleep then he had left her to answer his Calling alone. She woke up the next morning to find Zev there with this letter. After she had read it she had crumbled to the floor and wailed with such deep agonizing pain. Sabrina knew that Tristen had arranged for Zev to be there to comfort her once he left.

Zev held her, rocked her, eventually picked her up and took her back to Vigil's Keep. He helped her put back together the pieces of her shattered life. She eventually pulled herself out of her grief, but life without Tristen had left her empty and unfulfilled. How do you move on once your other half has died?

This final journey frightened her; the Deep Roads had always scared her, not because she was afraid to die there, no, she was more afraid of _not_ dying there. The only thing she found comfort in and that was her driving force, was that it would only be a matter of time before she would be reunited with the love of her life. Sabrina wiped the tears from her cheeks as she gently caressed the letter. _I'm c__oming baby. It won't be long now._ Sabrina gently folded the letter up and put it in her bag.

She went over to her water basin and splashed some water on her face. She checked her face in the mirror and then headed down to have her last dinner with her Wardens.

For the most part dinner was uneventful and towards the end Sabrina clinked her glass with her fork to get everyone's attention. Once all eyes were on her, she cleared her throat, "It has been my pleasure to be a Warden for twenty seven years, to be your Warden Commander for the last twenty five. During that time we have watched the numbers of the Ferelden Grey Wardens grow from only two, then to seven then to the surprising, but exciting number of two hundred. It has been an honor to serve with you and to kick some darkspawn arse with you."

She paused as a loud cheer went up and she relished in the sound of the camaraderie of her fellow brothers and sisters. "So to continue in the tradition of darkspawn arse-kicking I would like to proudly introduce your next Commander, Connor Guerrin." Another loud cheer went up and Connor stepped forward to make his remarks. Sabrina sat back and enjoyed her last night with her Warden family.

Throughout the evening she enjoyed the companionship of those gathered around her. Nate was the first to approach the head table; he paused in front of her, he didn't say a word, he just bowed and then placed what she knew was his favorite dagger in front of her. She looked up at him in astonishment, but he said nothing and walked away. Then Anders, her prodigal son who had only recently returned to the fold, approached her. He smiled and winked then laid down his favorite staff, blowing her a kiss just before he turned to go. Oghren was next. He approached her, but didn't say a word, simply bowed and placed his battle axe in front of her. One by one, every Warden approached her, bowed to her and gave her their favorite weapon. She sat there stunned as a multitude of weapons were piled in front of her. She knew that they didn't expect her to take all of their weapons with her, it was the symbolic gesture of them sacrificing their prized treasures, that moved her beyond words. Her tears flowed freely as the army of Wardens paraded their weapons in front of her, to honor her.

Connor leaned over and whispered, "Commander, you are loved more than mere words can say. No one will ever be able to take your place in the hearts of these men and women." Sabrina just nodded, words had failed her.

Once the parade of weapons had ended, the Wardens got down to the serious business of drinking. Sabrina didn't drink much, but enjoyed socializing with her friends and spent the next several hours with the people that had become her family. As the hours quickly passed, she was starting to become emotionally tired and an arm slipped around her waist. Zev leaned in and whispered, "Mia Tesoro Amica, are you ready to leave?"

Sabrina nodded and Zev pulled her against him, the two of them blurring into the shadows when no one was looking. They made their way back to her room and Sabrina quietly got changed as she absorbed all that had transpired during this very touching evening. She crawled into bed and the tears began to flow. Zev crawled in behind her; he pulled her to him and he just held her as she cried herself to sleep.

Early the following morning before anyone in the Keep was up, Zev and Sabrina had saddled up their horses and rode out of the main gates for the last time. They rode all day and late in the afternoon they made their way into the courtyard of Highever Castle. The stable boy came from the barn to collect the horses.

"Welcome back, Commander," the young boy said.

"Thank you, Tanner, it's good to be back. Is the Teyrn in?" Sabrina asked.

"No my Lady, he left this morning to tend to a dispute with the land owners in the southern part of the Teyrnir. He hopes to only be gone for a couple of days," Tanner informed her.

"Fine, I guess there isn't anything I can do about that." She sighed as she made her way into the castle.

A week later Sabrina paced in Fergus' study in a foul mood. Fergus had sent her a letter apologizing for his delay, but the dispute was taking longer to solve than he had originally planned. He hoped to have everything resolved soon and to leave for Highever in two days. If it had been his intention to leave for Highever two days from when he sent the letter, that meant he should have been here yesterday, but still no Fergus. What in Maker's breath could they possibly be arguing over that would take an entire week of the Teyrn's time. She needed to see Fergus before she entered the Deep Roads, but the calling was becoming more and more powerful. She barely slept, barely ate anymore. When she did sleep, the dreams were so horrific and intense that she woke up screaming and covered in sweat.

The only good part in the delay was that she had more time to spend with her nephews and her niece. Eighteen years ago at the Landsmeet Celebration, Fergus had spent a great deal of the night talking and dancing with Bann Alfstanna. Over the following year Sabrina looked on with glee as she watched the budding romance unfold. At the next Landsmeet, Fergus proposed and a year later they were married. A year after that, her nephew Sawyer had been born, followed by Stefan two years later. Just one year on, her niece and namesake, Sabrina, made her debut. She couldn't have loved these children more if they had been her own. In order to cut down on the confusion, everyone called her niece Sabie. Since she and Tristen would never have children of their own, they both loved and spoiled them shamelessly and they had taken Tristen's death very hard. It would not be easy saying good-bye to them and she didn't know how to prepare them for the inevitable farewell.

Lost in her thoughts, Sabrina picked up a painted skyball and gently tossed it back and forth in her hands.

"You aren't thinking about using that on my head are you," Fergus chortled as he walked in.

"I just might. Haven't you heard it's extremely bad form to leave a Lady waiting," Sabrina said.

"Oh where is this Lady that I've kept waiting," Fergus retorted playfully.

"Well, you really know how to sweet talk a girl, Fergus. You must have snagged Anna on your looks alone. It surely couldn't have been your charming disposition," Sabrina said dryly.

"You leave my lovely wife out of this and come over here and give your big brother a hug."

Sabrina put the skyball back down, but before she could even move toward him Fergus was across the room and had pulled her into a tight bear hug. He kissed her forehead and then pulled back to look at her. "It's good to see you Bean. You're a sight for sore eyes."

He kissed her forehead again and then released her. "So are you here alone?"

"No, Zev is with me. He was training with Sawyer and Stefan in the practice ring. I'm surprised you didn't see them when you came in," Sabrina replied.

"There wasn't anyone in the ring when I arrived. They must have already headed in to get cleaned up for dinner. Speaking of which, Anna told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in an hour."

Fergus poured each of them a glass of brandy and then took a seat in a chair near the fireplace and gestured for Sabrina to join him. Fergus stared at her for a long while and a solemn look settled on his face. He took a large gulp of brandy before he finally spoke. "So when I received your letter a month ago that you were coming to Highever for a brief visit, I was thrilled of course. At the same time I was very curious because you have always scheduled your holidays well in advance. Then on my way home I heard a rumor from a local lord that the King had released a proclamation declaring that Connor Guerrin was the new Arl of Amaranthine and Warden Commander of Ferelden. Now that I'm seeing you for the first time in months, I can see that you look very tired and you've lost weight…." His voice trailed off while he took a moment to compose himself. "I-it's your time, i-isn't?"

Sabrina looked at her brother sadly and nodded. Besides Zevran, Fergus was the only other non-Warden she had ever told about the Calling. She knew that she was breaking the rules, but when Tristen had received his Calling, Sabrina had sat down and explained what was happening. Fergus had been shocked and then angered that one day, she too would be called to the Deep Roads long before her time.

He reached over and grasped her hand tightly. They sat there in silence drinking their brandy; both at a complete loss for words. Once both of their glasses were drained, Sabrina stood up and grabbed a large parcel that was wrapped in burlap and tied with twine. She carried it over, sat on the floor in front of her brother and carefully unwrapped it. She withdrew a beautiful sword that had a blue glow to it and very intricate carvings. He knew this was her favorite sword, and he had rarely ever seen her without it. She handed it to him. "Once I am gone and you have received word that I have fallen in the Deep Roads, I want you to give this to Sawyer." Fergus began to protest, but Sabrina held up her hand. "Fergus, please let me do this my way."

Fergus nodded reluctantly and then she pulled out a truly beautiful sword that he knew had been forged from dragon bone and dragon eggs. Fergus had heard stories that the Crows had stolen this sword, but through Zev's connections he was able to get it back into its rightful owner's hands. "This is Vigilance. It was Tristen's favorite sword when he carried a shield. I want you to give this to Stefan."

Then she pulled out the stunning sword and dagger set that their father had given her after she had won their duel. Over the years she had added runes to it and Tristen had the words _The Song of Brin _engraved on the sword and _The Thor__n of Brin_ on the dagger_._ "I used these to kill the Mother and the Architect and I want Sabrina to have these."

Then she looked at the wedding band and engagement ring on her finger and for the first time in twenty-five years she slid the rings off. She placed them in Fergus' hand, she closed his hand over them and then she wrapped both of her hands around his. "Please give these rings to Sabrina. They were mom's before they were mine and they need to remain in the family."

She looked up into Fergus' face and saw the tears brimming in his eyes. "I-I don't know how to say good-bye to you."

"At least you have the opportunity to; neither one of us had the chance to say good-bye to Mom and Dad. When I think back on that night there are a thousand things I wish I could have said, but didn't. You and I have a chance for some closure before I have to leave. I can stay for a few more days, but the time is getting close and I can't stay much longer than that."

Fergus nodded in agreement, then he pulled her back into his arms and they both cried together. He finally pulled back from the embrace. "What sword are you going to take into the Deep Roads with you?"

"Well, if you don't mind, I was thinking I would take the family sword. I started my life as a Warden killing darkspawn with that weapon, it would be fitting that I end my career as a Warden with the same weapon."

Fergus nodded, "Yes, it would fitting indeed."

They eventually made their way to dinner. They arrived late and Anna was about to rebuke her husband until she saw his troubled face. Sabrina sat down beside Zev, he squeezed her hand and she gave him a slight nod and he squeezed again. Both Fergus and Sabrina tried to lighten the mood and shake off their glum frame of minds and as the wine flowed freely throughout the dinner the siblings' optimistic nature began to shine through once again.

After dinner they adjourned to the library where the entire family played charades. The hours passed quickly and Sabrina couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so hard. Eventually Anna insisted that it was both hers and the kids' bedtimes. They begrudgingly said good night and headed to their rooms.

Sabrina decided to use this opportunity to change out of the confining dress that she was wearing and into a comfortable pair of linen trousers and an oversized shirt. When she rejoined her brother and Zev in the library, it was obvious from the lively laughter flowing out of the room that an unhealthy amount of brandy was being consumed.

"O-o-oh, that was too funny, but I have a good one too," Fergus said as he tried to catch his breath before he continued. "A man escapes from prison where he has been held for fifteen years. He breaks into a house to look for money and weapons when he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, before swiftly approaching the girl and while tying her to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: 'Listen, this guy's an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He has probably spent a long period of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist him honey, don't complain, just do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy looks extremely dangerous and I fear that if angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey, I love you.'

To which his wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, he thought you were really cute, and asked me if we had any lubricant. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey and I love you too'!"

They both burst out laughing as Zev poured them both some more brandy. When he saw Sabrina walk in he poured a glass for her too, "Oh Bree, your brother just told me the best joke."

Sabrina grinned, "Yes, I caught the tail end of it. He's been telling that joke for years. You really need to get some new material, Brother."

"Oh and you think you could do better," Fergus said.

Sabrina thought about it for a moment. "Did you hear about the two chantry sisters that were sitting on a park bench when a naked man ran past them," Sabrina said and both Fergus and Zev look at her questioningly.

"Well, the first sister had a stroke. Unfortunately, the other sister just wasn't quick enough." Both of the men just looked at her and groaned.

"What? I thought that was funny. Okay how about this one. You know the difference between a whore and a bitch?" Both Fergus and Zev look at her, shrugging their shoulders.

"Well, a whore screws everyone at the party, a bitch screws everyone at the party except you."

Again the two men groaned. "She'll be here all week folks. Try the roasted nug and don't forget to tip your bar wenches," Fergus said in a mocking tone and they all laughed.  
"Well here's one you might not have heard," Zev stated.  
"Two prostitutes were standing on a street corner ready for a night of business.  
'It's gonna be a good night tonight, I can tell,' says one of the girls.  
'How can you tell?' asks the other.  
'I can smell cock in the air,' replies the first prostitute.  
'Sorry,' her friend replied sheepishly, 'I just burped'!"  
All three of them broke out into a fit of hysterical laughter. They spent the rest of the night into the wee hours of the morning drinking and exchanging stories and jokes. It was a perfect night as far as Sabrina was concerned.

xxXxx

_Alistair stood on a cliff in Highever that overloo__ked the ocean. It was such a peaceful and calming place, Alistair always enjoyed it when his dreams brought him here; behind him stood the statue of Duncan that had been dedicated years ago. _

_He felt the presence of his brother even before he spoke, "Hel__lo Alistair."_

_Alistair turned around to see his twin brother standing before him and seeing him once again made him realize just how much he missed him. Over the twenty years they had been together before he'd received his Calling they had formed a tight __bond and the pain of his absence was prevalent every day. So on the rare occasions that he actually shared the Fade with him, Alistair savored the moment._

"_Hello Tristen," Alistair replied with a grin. "It's good to see you again."_

"_It's good to see you__ too, Brother. You are looking well," Tristen said somberly. _

_Normally when they had shared the Fade in the past it had always been a happy reunion, but this time his brother seemed gravely serious. _

"_What's wrong?" Alistair asked._

_Tristen walked tow__ards him and stopped when he was only a few feet away. He drew in long sigh, "Do you __remember the promise you made me before I headed to Orzammar?"_

_Alistair felt his heart begin to race. He knew exactly what promise he was referring to. If Tristen was br__inging this up it could only mean one thing and Alistair felt his heart break into pieces as he lost the ability to speak._

"_It's time brother," Tristen said sadly. Tristen's biggest fear about receiving his calling before hers was that she would have to __go into the Deep Roads alone. Alistair knew that Bree had nightmares about the Deep Roads, about being taken alive by the darkspawn in order to be turned into a broodmother. Tristen had turned to the only other person that completely understood her fear __and who could make the final journey with her. _

"_I promise, Tristen, I will bring her home to you," Alistair reassured him. _

"_Thank you, Alistair." _

Alistair jolted awake, sweat pouring down his forehead and heart pounding. Oh Bree, no, no not yet, but he knew the dream was true and that Bree's time had come. His heart ached at the thought of the nightmares returning and the taint slowly corrupting her; his beautiful Bree slowly being eaten away by her tainted blood. He wanted to be there for her, to hold her and comfort her.

Over the past twenty-five years, Alistair had done what Tristen said he would have, if Bree had chosen Alistair – he had loved her from afar and had been happy that she had finally found the love and peace that she sought, even though Alistair's own heart broke every time he saw them together. He loved them both, he wanted them both to be happy, but his heart was never able to completely stop loving her.

It had taken some time, but as his anger continued to subside, his friendship with her had slowly been restored and it was even stronger than it had been before. The easy rapport and strong bond that they had shared during their travels had returned and he felt once again that he could tell her anything and he knew the same went for her. It had been Bree that had told him that the dreams had returned for Tristen and he had comforted her that night as she cried in his arms.

Alistair started to roll out of bed when he felt the weight of an arm draped across his chest, he eased Anora's arm from him and slipped out of bed. He went to the water basin and splashed some cold water over his face. He quietly opened the balcony door, stepped onto the terrace and leaned against the railing. Ever since Alistair had made the promise to Tristen, he had been making preparations for this day and he was just grateful that he hadn't received his calling before hers too.

He looked down into the courtyard and smiled. There had been a lot of happy memories made in that courtyard. Both his son, Duncan and his daughter, Grace, had taken their first steps in the garden and he had watched his children grow up playing games, climbing trees and having picnics there. He was going to miss his two beautiful children terribly and the thought of not being there when they got married and had children of their own left him anguished. He knew one day he would have to say good-bye to them, but he had hoped it would have been years from now, not days. Maybe Tristen's warning had been that her Calling was about to begin. If that was the case then she could easily have another year before she needed to make the final journey. He prayed that it would be so. There was so much he still wanted to see and experience with his children.

His stomach growled and he made his way to the kitchen to find a midnight snack. He placed some cheese and fruit on a plate, grabbed a bottle of wine and headed for his study. The day before had been so busy that he had not had time to go through the mail that had been laid out for him. He sifted through them and saw several letters from various Arls, one from Fergus and at the bottom one in the familiar hand writing of the Commander of the Grey.

His fingers trembled as he cautiously opened the parchment as if the speed at which he opened it would change the content within it.


	19. Chapter 19 I Will Remember You

**Epilogue Part II**

"I'm so tired but I can't sleep, standin' on the edge of something much too deep  
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word

Though we are screaming inside oh we can't be heard  
I will remember you, will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories  
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose

Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose  
But once there was a darkness, deep and endless night,

you gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light"

_I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan_

_My Dearest Ali__stair,_

_As I look back over the past twenty-seven years of my life there has been one person that has been a constant source of irritation, frustration, joy, happiness and love – that is you my dear friend. I just knew we were going to be great friends whe__n you told Duncan, 'if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line; darkspawn or no.' _

_I can't express to you what having you by my side during our travels meant to me. You saved me, Alistair. You pulled me out__ of the deep trenches of grief and gave me a reason to live again. I would have never made it through those eighteen months without you. I know that we have had our differences, but we have managed to work through them and I believe we have come out eve__n stronger. You were my first love, Alistair. You will always hold a special place in my heart and please know, that I will always love you. _

_I also wanted to take the time to tell you how proud I am of you. I know that being King was not your first cho__ice, but once you accepted the role, you embraced it wholeheartedly and both you and Anora have done a wonderful job of rebuilding Ferelden. Our country flourishes because of you and the policies that you have implemented. As an Arlessa it has been a ple__asure to work with you in the renewal and rejuvenation of our wonderful nation. I have been honored to serve with you as both a Grey Warden to end the Blight and as a noble in the restoration of Ferelden. _

_Now the real reason you are receiving this mus__hy letter is because I need to say good-bye to you my friend. Eight months ago, the dreams returned and now with each passing day I can feel the taint growing stronger and calling me to the Deep Roads. I leave tomorrow for Highever to say farewell to Fer__gus and his family and then I head to Orzammar. I wanted you to know that Weisshaupt has approved Conner as the next Warden Commander so you will need to announce him as the new Arl of Amaranthine. I would love to see the Knight Commander's face when he __hears a mage is going to __be an Arl…take that you bastard! _

_Goodbye my friend. I will miss you terribly._

_Love,_  
_Bree_

Alistair wiped the tears from his cheeks. Her letter had made him laugh, had moved him to tears and he once again ached to hold her and comfort her. Alistair looked at the date on the letter. She had sent it three days ago. Damn it! She could have sent it by bird messenger and he would have received it in hours. However, he had a feeling that is exactly why she hadn't done that. Damn her and her nobility and honor. He quickly grabbed a piece of parchment.

_Dear Fergus,_

_It is my understanding that Sabrina is heading for Highever before she heads to Orzammar. Whatever you do, don't let her leave Highever until I arrive. _

_Thank__ you,_  
_Alistair._

Alistair sealed it with the royal seal and then opened the door to the guard standing outside. He handed the sealed letter to the guard. "This needs to be sent the moment the sun cracks the horizon and please send word the moment the Queen wakes up. I need her to come and see me in my study."

The guard bowed, "Yes your Majesty."

Alistair sat down at his desk to take care of the last things he would ever do as King. Several hours later, Anora made her way into his study. He had told Anora about the Calling years before. As Queen and raising two children, he'd felt she had the right to know what would eventually happen to him. When he had promised Tristen that Bree would not enter the Deep Roads alone he had confided in Anora once more. At first she was angry that he would make such a promise, but as he explained the grotesque abominations that the broodmothers were, she agreed that no woman should suffer that fate.

Now as she sat there waiting for him to explain such an early morning summons, he was at a loss for words. He had shared the past twenty-five years with this woman. She had been a friend, a lover, a confidant and a partner. He had come to love her, not in the way that he loved Bree, but he did love her and now he had to say goodbye.

"Anora, it's time for me to fulfill my promise to Tristen," Alistair said calmly.

For a moment Anora was completely speechless, but then she found the strength that she was so well known for and composed herself. "When do you have to leave?"

"Today," he replied solemnly.

"What? How can it be so soon?"

"Bree has been having the dreams for eight months now. I believe that she purposely didn't tell me and…"

"Well, then that is her own damn fault. You're the King, she can't expect you to drop everything in a moment's notice and follow her into the Deep Roads!" Anora exclaimed as the tears began to fill her eyes.

"I don't believe that she ever expected me to follow her into the Deep Roads. As a matter of fact I believe she notified me at the last possible moment so that I wouldn't," Alistair replied gently.

"Well, then you should honor her wishes," Anora retorted.

Alistair went to her and bent down before her; he knew her reaction was from fear and grief. "Anora, I know this is a shock, and that it is painful, but I can't let her go alone and not just because I gave Tristen my word that I would accompany her. For my own peace of mind, I need to know that she met an honorable end. I couldn't live with myself not knowing that. Bree and I have been through too much together, Anora. I wasn't there for her the last time when she needed me most. I turned my back on her then, but I can't and I won't do that now. I'm sorry, Love, but this is something I have to do, and if not now, I would have to go myself soon anyway. I'm surprised and a little relieved actually, that her Calling came before my own." Alistair replied.

She threw herself into his arms and cried. He held her for a very long time. He finally pulled away and looked into her eyes, "We don't have much time. We need to set into motion the plan that we came up with when we knew we would have to create a story for my own Calling. "

Anora nodded and he continued, "Once everything is in place I want to say goodbye to the kids. They deserve the truth and it will take time to explain it."

Again Anora nodded as she reined in her emotions as she coolly and efficiently went to work.

It was mid-day by the time Alistair exited the city gates on horseback with the hood of his traveling cloak pulled up. He traveled with only one guard on the insistence of Anora. She had made some smart ass remark about what a shame it would be if he was killed by bandits before he made it to Highever, so he conceded and selected his most trusted and loyal guard to accompany him.

They rode in silence as he thought about the emotional goodbye between him, Duncan and Grace. Duncan was the oldest and once the news of Alistair's untimely death was announced, Duncan would ascend to the throne. Duncan had their mother's flair for politics, but he had Alistair's good nature and Alistair knew his son would be a fair and just ruler. But Maker forbid if anything should ever happen to him before he had an heir, then Gracie would inherit the throne. Because they both could end up ruling Ferelden, he felt they deserved to know the truth behind his death. He also wanted them to have a better understanding of the Wardens and the sacrifices they made.

Like Anora, they too were angry at first. They were angry at Sabrina, angry at their uncle for asking their father to make, in their opinion, such a stupid promise, and they were angry at Alistair for keeping his word. When they realized that their anger wasn't going to change the current circumstances they began to cry. Alistair held them tightly and cried with them, mourning the things he would never get to see them do, and so very sorry for the pain he was causing them. If not now then in a few months or a year, he would still have to leave them too soon, and he couldn't imagine or want to have to do it alone. The hardest thing he had ever done was to release them from his embrace for the last time and head out the door. He knew in his heart they would be alright in the end, having their mother's strength in abundance. The three of them would be there for each other. Knowing that, however, didn't make it any easier. His final farewell to Anora, after his children, almost broke him and he was genuinely grateful that he'd had her with him through the years they had ruled, side by side.

They were several hours outside of Denerim when they found a small inn in the foothills of Dragon's Peak to spend the night. They rose early the next morning and started out before the sun was even up. Their days were long and hard, but Alistair felt the need to get to Highever as quickly as possible. By mid-day on the fourth day, the rode into the courtyard and the stable boy came out to greet them.

"My Lord, I was not told to expect company," the boy said as he took the reins from Alistair.

Alistair removed his hood, the boys face went from shock to being flustered as he bowed, "Your Majesty. This is an unexpected surprise."

"Please stand up dear boy. I don't want to draw needless attention to my presence. Is Teyrn Cousland in?"

"Yes, your Majesty," the boy said as he waved over a page to escort him into the castle. The page showed him to Fergus' study and knocked. When Fergus called from within to enter, Alistair excused the boy and walked in.

For a moment Fergus was completely taken aback, but then he quickly regained his composure, he stood up, approached Alistair and bowed, "Your Majesty, you made better time than I was expecting."

"Well, I realized that time was of the essence so I got here as quickly as I could. Please, tell me that she hasn't left for Orzammar yet?" Alistair asked with a little ounce of hope in his voice.

"No, you're in time to say goodbye to her. She doesn't leave until tomorrow," Fergus replied.

Alistair smiled sadly at him, "I'm not here to say goodbye Fergus, I'm here to accompany her on this final journey."

"What? You do realize it's a one way trip?" Fergus asked, stunned.

Alistair chuckled, "Yes, I have been a Warden for twenty-seven years. I am well aware that neither one of us will be coming back from this expedition."

"Have you received your calling too?"

"Not yet," Alistair replied dryly.

Fergus looked at him in astonishment. "Then why?"

"Because I refuse to allow her to do this by herself; now if you could tell me where to find her," Alistair replied.

"She is out on the Bluff where Duncan's statue is," Fergus said still flabbergasted.

"Great, I would like to get cleaned up first before I head there. Would it be possible to get a water basin first and then could I trouble your quartermaster for a fresh horse?"

"Of course, Alistair, I will have a servant show you to your room and have a basin sent up immediately. I will also have a mount ready for you by the time you are done," Fergus replied.

Thirty minutes later Alistair was back in the stables retrieving a fresh horse. He quickly headed for the Bluffs and was grateful that he only got lost once before he found the right path that led to the cliffs. He saw her standing in the distance as she stared out to sea and he felt his heart begin to race as he made his way towards her.

Just like in his dream with Tristen she felt his presence and spun around. She smiled warmly as she said, "Hello Alistair."

He looked at her and even though she looked tired and was much too thin, her beauty still took his breath away. "Hello Bree."

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I've come to take this final walk with you," Alistair responded.

She looked at him stunned at first and then she began to shake her head, "NO, Alistair! You're the King, you're a husband and a father. Your place is here with them, not dying in the Deep Roads with me."

"I'm going to die in the Deep Roads eventually. It might as well be with you," he said with a sheepish grin.

"Alistair, you could have years before your calling. You are denying your children those years, not to mention your duty to your country," Sabrina retorted her voice beginning to rise with agitation.

"Or I could start having dreams tomorrow. Bree, however we want to look at it, not long from now I too will need to head into the Deep Roads. We started on this road together, and I can't think of any better way to reach its end, than with you."

"Alistair, I know about the promise that Tristen asked you to make and he was wrong. He had no right to ask you to make such an oath. That is why I waited till the last possible moment to let you know, because I didn't want you to feel obligated to fulfill a vow that should never have been made in the first place."

Alistair stepped up to her and cupped her face in his hands. "I'm not only here because of the promise I made to Tristen. I'm also here because of a promise I made to you, the first time we traveled the Deep Roads. Do you remember what that promise was?"

Tears slid down her cheeks as she nodded. Alistair wiped them away with his thumb. "Bree, I told you that I would give my life before I ever allowed the darkspawn to take you alive, and I meant it. I gave Tristen my word because I knew that I was already planning on being with you, if you had to make this journey before me. So yes I'm here partially to keep my vow to my brother, but I'm really here to honor my promise to you, my dear."

"Thank you, Alistair," she cried and Alistair kissed her forehead as he pulled her into a tight embrace.

Alistair held onto her for a very long time and when he finally released her, he looked into her eyes and smiled. "It's taken me a long time, Bree, to understand the meaning of unconditional love, but the lesson has finally sunk in to my thick skull. There isn't anything I would rather do, then take this final journey with you."

At first she didn't say anything, but then she drew in a deep, ragged breath, "I can't believe that you remembered that promise and after everything that we have been through you're still willing to keep it."

"We've put the past behind us and we have moved on to a deep friendship. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, Bree, you have to know that by now," Alistair replied softly.

Sabrina just nodded, but remained in his embrace for a long while before they pulled away from each other. Alistair took her hand and led her over to Duncan's statue. They were silent for a time as they reflected on the man that had influenced both of their lives and had brought them together all those years ago.  
"He would have been so proud of you Alistair," Sabrina said.

"Somehow I doubt that. I have a feeling I would have been a grave disappointment to him," Alistair replied sadly.

"No, you wouldn't. Everyone makes mistakes, Alistair. If you hadn't learned from yours and had continued to go down the same path then I would agree with that statement. But you did learn from your lapses in judgment and became a better person, a better King and better man because of it. No, Alistair, Duncan would be very proud of you."

Alistair slid his arm around her shoulders as he led her toward their horses. She had a wonderful way of making him feel good about himself, even when he didn't think he deserved it, "Thank you, Bree."

He helped her into her saddle, climbed into his and they made their way back to the castle.

Zevran greeted them as they rode into the courtyard. Sabrina heard Alistair groan when he saw the assassin.

"Be nice," she whispered.

"I will if he will," Alistair retorted.

"Aaah, if it isn't my favorite bastard," Zev chortled as he took the reins from Sabrina and helped her down.

"And all this time I thought _you_ were your favorite bastard," Alistair replied.

Zev laughed, "Well, now that you have pointed that out, you have definitely moved into the second spot."

"Fight nice, boys, I'm in no mood to play referee between the two of you," Sabrina said, exasperated as she headed into the castle to get ready for her last dinner with her family.

Sabrina refused to allow her impending departure to set a gloomy tone for this evening. She wanted her last memories of her family and their memories of her to be happy ones. She looked in her closet at several of the dresses that she had left here. She selected a scarlet red velvet gown that had a tight low cut bodice and was decorated in gold beads and gold embroidery. The velvet sleeves were tight on her upper arms, but at the elbow the material was a sheer gold, long and wide. She applied make-up to cover up the circles under eyes and added some cheek and lip rouge to add color to her now opaque complexion. She added some minx oil to her dull tresses to give her hair some sheen. She looked in the mirror and was pleased. Not bad for a forty-five year old woman who was slowly being corrupted by her own blood.

Everyone was already gathered in the formal dining room when she entered and all heads turned to stare at her entrance. She had to suppress a smile of amusement. It pleased her to know that she could still turn a few heads.

It was Sabie, her niece, that rushed forward and hugged her, "Aunt Brin, you look beautiful."

Sabrina laughed as she returned her niece's hug. Except for Tristen, her niece and nephews were the only ones to call her Brin and it pleased her to no end because it was a way to keep a part of him alive.

"You look like a princess," Sabie exclaimed.

"Yeah, a butt kicking princess," Sawyer said with admiration.

"Sawyer," Anna cried out in shock, but the rest of the room just laughed.

Zev glided over to her, he took her hand, and kissed it, "La mia dea mortale, you look exquisite tonight."

"Thank you, Zev," Sabrina replied evenly.

"Deadly Goddess, indeed," Fergus said with a grin. "I believe Zev's comment is an understatement."

Anna smiled at her sister-in-law, "You look wonderful tonight, Bree." She turned to everyone and said, "Now that we are all here, let's sit down for dinner."

They made their way to the table and Alistair held out a chair for her. As he pushed her chair in, he whispered in her ear, "Absolutely gorgeous, you took my breath away." She suppressed a grin as he took the seat beside her.

Dinner was a very relaxed, yet entertaining affair and she couldn't help but smile as she glanced around the table at the people she loved. She was going to miss each and every one of them for very different reasons, but as she watched each of them laugh and joke with each other, it warmed her heart to know that they had each other to lean on once she was gone.

Once dinner was over they moved into the library and before anyone could even get comfortable, Sabie suggested that they play Blindman's Bluff.

"Oh this could be interesting," Zev chortled.

Fergus shot him a warning look, "Remember Zev, there are children present."

Zev leaned over to Sabrina and whispered, "Once the kids go to bed maybe we play the adult version with clothing optional."

Sabrina laughed, "I love my brother, but there are things even I don't want to know about him."

Sabie volunteered to be the first one blindfolded. Everyone in the room scattered and hid, as her niece slowly started to make her way around the room with her hands out in front of her as she searched for them. She almost had Zev, but he blurred into the shadows and side-stepped her.

When he reappeared beside Sabrina, she glared at him and mouthed, "Cheater!"

Sabie was about to catch Stefan when he spun away from her, but stepped on Alistair's foot causing him to yelp. Sabie quickly turned and grabbed a hold of Alistair's sleeve. Alistair bent down so that he was level with her. Sabie began to move her hands over his face and hair.

"Hmmm, you have short hair and a very smooth face. You could be Sawyer…"

She ran her hands along Alistair's broad shoulders and the young girl giggled and turned red. "Well, with shoulders like that you definitely aren't Sawyer."

"Hey," Sawyer protested from across the room and everyone suppressed a laugh.

"That only leaves one person, it's King Alistair," Sabie said.

"Very good, Sabie," Alistair said as he helped her remove the blind fold. Sabrina saw the sad look in Alistair's eyes as he helped her niece. Gracie and Sabie were the same age, they were actually very good friends. She knew he was missing his daughter.

"It's your turn, your Majesty," she beamed at him.

"Of course, can you put the blindfold on me?" Alistair asked. Sabie nodded and tightly secured the blindfold.

Alistair stood up as everyone scattered around the room. He paused as if he was listening for something, he spun and headed directly for her. Sabrina gracefully and quietly moved to the opposite side of the room. Again Alistair paused, listened, and whirled in her direction. In three quick steps he was across the room, she agilely sidestepped him, but he felt the air rush by him and his hand quickly whipped out and grabbed her arm. He pulled her so that she was in front of him. His fingers gently traced the outline of her face, then his finger tips slowly charted a path along her jawline, down her neck to her collarbone. His touch had caused her breathing to accelerate and she could feel the tips of his fingers tremble on her skin.

He smiled, then he leaned in to smell her hair as he whispered, "I know the feel of your skin and the smell of your hair even blindfolded, Bree."

She took a deep breath to clear her head. "Bullshit, you cheated, Alistair. You used the taint to sense me."

Alistair took the blindfold off and grinned at her. "It was never stated in the rules that I couldn't use the taint to sense you."

"He has you there," Fergus said jovially.

"You can sense each other through the taint?" Stefan asked.

"Yes," Sabrina grumbled.

"That's so cool," her nephew exclaimed.

They played a few more rounds of Blindman's Bluff before Anna insisted it was time for the kids to head to bed. Tonight before they could leave, Sabrina hugged each of them and told them how much she loved them. She managed to remain in control of her emotions as she said her goodbyes, but once they left the room she excused herself and ran out into the courtyard.

She cursed herself out loud for being so weak as the tears flowed down her cheeks. She felt two strong hands rest on her shoulders. "It's not weak to be sad because you will miss the ones you love," Alistair said warmly. "I know that you loved Fergus' children as if they were your own, so I know what you're going through right now. The hardest thing I've ever had to do was say goodbye to Duncan and Gracie."

He pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her trying to comfort her. "I'm so sorry, Bree. I wish as Wardens this was one sacrifice we didn't have to make."

She was unable to speak, but she nodded. He held her for a long time and it felt good to be in his embrace. He was strong and he made her feel safe when right now she felt so weak and vulnerable. The cool night air began to sink into her bones and she shivered.

"Come on, Bree. Let's get you inside," Alistair said as he led her back into castle and into the library.

Fergus looked up at her as she entered the room, "Are you okay, Beanie?"

She nodded and Zev handed her a glass of brandy. She took a big gulp, then another and then one more to drain the glass and then she handed it back to Zev, "More please."

Zev smiled and shook his head, "Careful Mia Tesoro Amica."

"Yes, I don't think Fergus would appreciate you dancing on his tables," Alistair chuckled.

Fergus grinned and looked at Sabrina and then at Alistair, "Beanie, was dancing on the tables? Oh do tell."

"What is it with the men in my life telling stories to embarrass me?" Sabrina asked exasperated.

All three of them laughed. "Bella mia, it's because we love you that we make such fun of you," Zev snickered.

"Well, you three have a very strange definition of love," Sabrina grumbled.

"Well, we are here to keep you humble and not let all that hero stuff go to your head. So on that happy note, Alistair continue with your tale," Fergus chortled.

"Where's the damn brandy?" Sabrina asked as got up to pour herself another one.

"Well, we had just returned from the Deep Roads. We were all exhausted, but we had some pent up anxiety that need to be released. So we headed to Tapsters for a few pints…well a few pints turned into our little party consuming half the ale in Orzammar and before anyone realized it Oghren was up on the tables doing his happy dance and it didn't take long before Zev had joined him as they sang a song about the The Broma Brothers…"

"The Broma Brothers?" Fergus asked.

"Yes, it had been a long running joke that Oghren and Zev were twin brothers separated at birth. They even used the persona when they broke into Fort Drakon to rescue Sabrina and I," Alistair replied.

Fergus lifted an eye brow. "Yes, the irony isn't lost on me," Alistair replied with a chuckle.

"So what was the song?" Fergus asked.

As if expecting to be asked to perform Zev stood up and cleared his throat like he was about to give the performance of his life:

"Broma Brothers are sweet, so much sweeter than we ought to be  
Another round of drinks and we'll be at it again with glee.  
We like our whiskey old, our women young, and if anyone asks, we're awesomely hung.  
And as the girls start to seek us out they can see we are the ones they need.  
Not only for our charming good looks but also our bountiful seed."

Fergus roared with laughter as both Sabrina and Alistair stood up to join Zev for the chorus that had become a nightly standard around the campfire during their travels.

"So grab yourself a bar wench, have a little fun,  
Raise your whiskey or your ale for our song is almost done!  
Lend us your ear and listen to what we've got to say,  
Here's to the Antivan fellow, here's to Orzammar boy hurrah!  
Here's to the proud Ferelden Grey, hurrah!  
Take them all, the great and small, because we'll give them hell to pay,  
We'll toast old Thedas, dear old Thedas, here's to the Thedas boys hurrah!"

Fergus laughed as he raised his glass and said, "Here's to the Thedas boys!"

And they all cried out in unison, "Hurrah!"

Fergus waved at Alistair and said, "Please continue."

Alistair grinned, "Well they sang the chorus for what felt like the hundredth time when Oghren passed out right in the middle of the chorus and fell head first off the table. Luckily for Oghren, his head is as hard as the stone that he was born under, but now lacking a singing and dancing partner Zev grabbed Bree by the hand and pulled her up on the tables with him. She proceeded to do a dance that had every man and some women thinking some very dirty thoughts. I have a feeling that dance will become legendary; if I'm not mistaken the Shaperate even added it into the Memories. To this day Oghren curses himself for missing what is now being referred to by the regulars at Tapsters as the 'Infamous Mating Tango of the Grey'."

"The Infamous Mating Tango of the Grey!" Fergus roared with laughter. "Oh that's too good, Zev I can't believe you have kept that from me all these years."

"That's because Zev understands what happens on the road stays on the road. Obviously a lesson Alistair has yet to master," Sabrina snapped as she took another gulp of brandy.

"Well, in Alistair's defense Zevran did tell the story about you throwing your tankard at the ogre for knocking your bottle over," Fergus said as he winked Alistair.

Alistair spun to look at Zev and grinned. "You told her brother about that? That was a funny night."

"You weren't laughing at the time, Alistair. If I recall you were very upset our lovely Warden," Zev replied.

"Well, you did almost get yourself killed that night, Bree, but I will never forget you barely able to stand, your small frame swayed back and forth as you tossed your tankard at the beast's head and you still managed to connect with it's forehead," Alistair said. He grinned at her when she took another gulp of brandy. The drinking and storytelling continued into the early hours of the morning.

Sabrina felt the scream tear from her throat as she jolted awake from the dream. She looked down at herself and saw that she was still wearing her dress from the night before. She must have fallen asleep at some point and someone carried her up to bed. She got up and went to the window, by the position of the moon it was still a few hours before sunrise.

She opened her door and asked the guard to have a servant bring up a tub for a bath. The guard nodded and she closed the door. She hated to rouse the servants at this hour and she would tip whoever brought the tub handsomely, but she wanted to be on the road before anyone was awake. She had said her goodbyes already and she didn't want to draw this out any further.

As she waited for her bath to arrive, she read the letter she was going to leave for Zev one last time.

_My Dearest Friend,_

_There aren't words strong enough __to express how much you mean to me. I am so thankful that you have stayed by my side for all of these years. I can't thank you enough for all the things that you have taught me, for the many things that you have done for me and for all the times you have__ saved my arse – literally and figuratively. You are my dearest friend, the one person I can turn to who is always ready to give me an ear to listen when I need to rant and rave, to give me a shoulder to cry on when I am down and out, and a hand to pick m__e up when I feel I can't go on. _

_I thank the Maker everyday that the Crow's sent you to assassinate me and in the same breath I also thank the Maker that you failed. You have brought me unimaginable joy, unspeakable laughter and undying love. Please kn__ow that even though I leave this world, I will always be with you and through your love and your memories I will carry on. _

_I love you Zev,_  
_Il suo Tesoro Amica_

Sabrina carefully folded and sealed it. Then she took out the letter to Fergus and read it too one more time.

_My Dear Fergus,_

_Do you remember when we were kids and we would play king of the mountain on Mom and Dad's bed? Even though you were older, bigger and stronger than me you never once let me win so when the day finally came that I did ma__nage to knock you off the bed on your arse I really did feel like the king of the mountain. You instilled in me at a young age the joy of accomplishment through hard work. How truly blessed I have been, Fergus to have you as my brother. I looked up to y__ou and as I watched you grow into a young man I admired you as you accomplished one great challenge after another. I was so proud of you and I wanted everyone to know you were my big brother. Even now I am still filled with pride and joy at the man, husb__and and father that you are. Mom and Dad would be so proud of you. _

_It's funny that most people are constantly searching for inner peace and serenity, but they are so busy seeking and looking under every rock that they don't see what is right in front of__ them. What they __fail to realize, but what was taught to us at a very young age is that true fulfillment and peace comes from the faces and smiles of those we love. We were raised to live each day to its fullest and to cherish and value everything. The s__udden loss of our family just reinforced those values for us, but I want to remind you, Big Brother, to treasure every day, to focus on the good and not to dwell on the sorrow. You have been blessed with a wonderful family that loves you and is there to su__pport you. Lean on them, take comfort in them and you will find peace again, I promise. _

_I love you Big Brother._  
_Bean_

As she folded and sealed the letter the servants brought in the tub of hot water, Sabrina jumped up and reached for your coin purse.

"I am so sorry to wake you up so early, but we need to get an early start," Sabrina said.

"It's not a problem, my Lady," the servant said.

"Well, I thank you for your help," Sabrina said as she handed each of them ten sovereigns.

The servants looked at her aghast. "My Lady we cannot accept this. The Teyrn…"

"The Teyrn will understand when he hears it came from me. I insist," Sabrina said stubbornly.

"Thank you, my Lady, you are too kind," they said as they headed out of the room.

Sabrina soaked in the tub for a long time enjoying how relaxing it was. Once the water became chilly she slipped out and quickly got dressed. She finished packing her bags and headed out of her room. She slid the letters under Fergus and Zev's doors before she hurried to meet Alistair in the courtyard.

When she entered the courtyard, Alistair was already there with their horses saddled and ready to go. He smiled sincerely at her as he boosted her into the saddle and then quickly settled himself into his own.

"I figured you would want to be far from the castle before everyone began to move around so I asked Cook to pack us up some breakfast and I thought we could stop once the sun came up to eat," Alistair said.

"Thank you, Alistair. I appreciate it," Sabrina said.

They rode out of the courtyard, through the pasture that would lead to the North Road. Once they were on the hilltop that looked down on Highever Castle, Sabrina halted her horse and looked down on her home one last time. All of the memories came flooding back in a rush – She and Fergus hunting in the woods, climbing the trees in the grove, sparring in the ring, she and Nate discovering each other in the pasture behind the castle, Tristen telling her he loved her as she was pressed against a tree, Tristen, Alistair and the Ferelden Wardens dedicating Duncan's statue, the sound of children's laughter as Sawyer, Stefan and Sabie explored with zeal all the areas that that she and Fergus had once explored. Life had come full circle and life would continue on.

She smiled as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. Alistair grasped her hand and squeezed as he offered her his silent comfort as she said goodbye.

**Author's Notes - Zevran's Broma Brothers song came from the creative mind of my wonde****rful beta, Jinx and the chorus was adapted from the song Ireland Boys. **

**Il suo Tesoro Amica roughly translated – your treasured friend.**


	20. Chapter 20 Storm

**Epilogue III**

"How long have I been in this storm? So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form  
Water's getting harder to tread, with these waves crashing over my head  
If I could just see you, everything would be all right  
If I'd see you, this darkness would turn to light  
And I will walk on water, and you will catch me if I fall  
And I will get lost into your eyes, I know everything will be alright"

_Storm by Lifehouse_

As they rode down the North Road, Sabrina remained in a somber mood. Alistair tried to joke with her, but either half the time she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear him or when she did she would only give him a polite smile. It was still hours before the sun was due to set, but when Alistair suggested they make camp she didn't argue. Why would she? Although she needed to go to the Deep Roads, who really wanted to expedite that trip.

She quietly set-up her tent and then gathered some wood for the fire. While Alistair cooked dinner she went down to the stream to clean up. By the time she returned dinner was ready and she ate in silence. Afterwards she said that she was going to head to bed early. Alistair nodded and watched her crawl into her tent.

He stayed up late into the night making sure the camp was safe, but when he could no longer stay awake he crawled into his tent and passed out. He couldn't have been asleep for long when he heard a blood curdling scream that made his skin crawl. He grabbed his sword and hurled himself out of his tent. The scream came again and he realized it was coming from Sabrina's tent. He ran over and threw open the flap; from the light of the fire he saw Sabrina thrashing around in her sleep and he knew she was having a calling nightmare. He set down his sword, crawled in, gently grasped her by the shoulders and shook her.

"Bree, Bree wake up," Alistair said.

Bree cried out again before she slowly opened her eyes and stared at him. He pulled her into his arms and gently stroked her hair. "It's okay, Bree. It was a nightmare, but it's over."

She cried softly against his chest and it broke his heart to see her so distressed. He remembered her first nightmare during their travels together and how tough she tried to be even though he knew the nightmare had scared her. Now that entire pretense was gone and she shook in his arms with fear. He knew it was because the nightmares were about to become a reality.

He coaxed her to lay back down, but she shook her head. "I-I don't want to be alone," she whispered.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here," Alistair said and as she lay down on her side he curled up behind her and pulled her to his chest. She was still trembling as he held her until she fell asleep once more. He fell asleep with a sense of contentment and comfort he hadn't felt in years.

He woke up the following morning to the sounds of birds chirping, he reached out for her, but she wasn't there. He stuck his head out and saw Sabrina sitting near the fire.

She smiled at him and it was the first time that he had seen that radiant smile of hers since…since before Tristen died. "Nice of you to join me, sleepy head, I've made some breakfast."

Alistair took a whiff and his stomach growled as the smell of cooked ham and eggs ignited his senses. He crawled out and joined her. He looked at her for a long time before he spoke. "You seem very… refreshed this morning."

She smiled, "I am. Normally after a nightmare, I am unable to fall asleep again, but having you there made me feel safe for the first time in months and I was able to get a good night's sleep despite them. Thank you Alistair, for staying with me."

"Of course, there isn't any place I would rather be," Alistair said. They finished breakfast together, then packed up camp and headed out. Sabrina's heartbreaking mood had lifted and the resilient spirit that she was known for came shining through. They talked, laughed and joked as they steadily continued their pilgrimage towards Orzammar.

Late afternoon they found a clearing to set-up camp. As Sabrina started to unpack, Alistair noticed her hesitate as if she was debating something with herself.

Alistair had an idea what the internal struggle was, so he walked up to her and rested his hand on her arm. She looked up at him questioningly. "Do you have nightmares every night?" She nodded.

"And are they always as bad as last night's?" Again she nodded. "Well, I don't see the need to put up two tents then, do you?"

She looked into his eyes and her smile was grateful as she silently shook her head. "Well, since that is settled, why don't you gather wood for a fire while I put up our tent?" Again she just nodded; she was about to turn away when she spun back around and kissed his cheek then headed into the woods to look for wood. Alistair smiled as he watched her go.

That night at camp after dinner, Sabrina opened a bottle of Antivan wine that Fergus had given her. They sat around the fire drinking and reminiscing. After several glasses of wine Alistair ran his hands nervously through his hair before he spoke, "Bree, can I ask you something personal that has been bugging me for years?"

Sabrina eyed him suspiciously. "Of course you can, but I can't guarantee that I will answer," she said with a grin.

He laughed uneasily before he continued, "When you left Denerim with Tristen and you found out he wasn't me, why did you stay with him?"

"Well, he was actually sent to Denerim by the Wardens to accompany me back to the Keep so it didn't make sense to dismiss my escort," Sabrina replied calmly.

Alistair shook his head, "No, that isn't what I meant." He paused, looked at her and she nodded for him to continue. "Well you see, you made regular appearances in my dreams and as often as you have been in mine, you have just as often, if not more, been in Tristen's. Over the years we've gotten a lot better at controlling it, when we would realize that we were in the other's subconscious mind, but not so much at the beginning. The reason I explain all this is to say that I know from his dreams, that the two of you slept together while traveling to Highever, even after you knew it wasn't me." He paused again and looked earnestly into her eyes. "Bree, I really need to know why? Because back then, even as angry as I was with you, I couldn't bring myself to touch anyone but you; even with all the fury, you were all I wanted…" his voice trailed off as the pain from that long ago memory washed over him once again. He was no longer angry at her, he had come to terms with that years ago, but the pain from those days after the Landsmeet still ached on occasion. Knowing that she'd willingly slept with Tristen even after she knew he wasn't who she thought, made him feel as if she never really loved him if she could move on so quickly.

She looked at him with sadness in her eyes. "Alistair, when I left Denerim I too was in pain and also very angry at you, but as angry and hurt as I was, I still loved you and I missed you terribly. We had parted on such bad terms and I felt…broken. I felt unworthy, I-I felt belittled," Her voice hitched.

She took another sip of wine. She starred into the fire as she continued. "Once I found out he wasn't you I only slept with him once on that trip to Highever. My self-esteem had taken a huge blow during my stay in Denerim. Tristen made me feel valued, cherished and admired - something I hadn't felt in a long time, but there was also this familiarity about him and I'm not just talking about his looks. His mannerisms and movements were very similar to yours and being near him caused me to ache for you, because I still deeply missed the familiarity and the intimacy of being with you."

She paused to collect her thoughts, "So when he tried to seduce me, I gave in because I missed you and what we once had. It wasn't fair to him, but the first time that we slept together I used Tristen."

She gave a half lopsided smile before she continued, "Although I think he knew that and was still very willing to be used by me. That night he gave me a little piece of you back and in the process helped lessen some of my grief over losing you. I don't know if your dreams picked this up, but the next morning I told him that I couldn't sleep with him again, not until I knew for certain that my feelings for him were genuine and not just a projection of my feelings for you. I didn't sleep with him again for months."

"No, my dreams didn't pick that up. Thank you for telling me, Bree. It makes sense and if you had a twin I could see trying to lose myself in them to get over the pain of not having you," Alistair said.

Sabrina looked at him for a long moment, he could tell she was conflicted about something and she was debating about saying something. He had a feeling he knew what it was she wanted to say so he clarified, "Bree, I know that you truly loved Tristen for who he was and not as a substitute for me. I watched you with him when you thought no one was watching – what the two of you had together was special and unique."

He was glad to see her tension ease and she relaxed as she yawned, she drank the last of her wine and declared it was her bed time. Alistair said he would be in shortly, that he wanted to patrol the area one last time before he settled in. She nodded and crawled into the tent.

He grabbed his sword and shield as he set out to walk the around the area of the camp. He thought about her confession and he was shocked by how honest she had been - at this point though there was no reason to hold back. She had been very emotional as she answered his question and it made him feel better knowing that she too had thought what they had experienced together had been real, extraordinary, and rare.

He could understand her need to be intimate with someone who made her feel treasured and loved. Near the end, their relationship had become a blasphemous, vulgar representation of what they had once truly meant to each other and the pain that they had inflicted on each, mostly the pain that he had inflicted on her, had been detrimental to their relationship ever recovering. It had taken him a while to realize that and come to terms with the fact that they would never again have what they had shared during those unforgettable eighteen months. What had been even harder to accept was that it had been one rash decision on his part that had thrown it all away.

Alistair made his way back to camp, crawled into the tent and curled up behind her. Alistair didn't realize how cool the night air was until he felt the heat from her body radiate against him as he pressed up against her. Damn he had missed the feel of her body as it conformed to the contours of his own. He buried his face in her hair and he fell asleep breathing in her unique fragrance.

Alistair woke up the following morning with her still wrapped in his embrace. It felt wonderful to wake up beside her once again, to be wrapped in her scent as the fog of sleep cleared from his mind. He realized that he didn't remember her waking up from a nightmare last night. She stirred against him and he felt the morning rush to his groin. He quickly slid away from her. He enjoyed holding her and comforting her, but he knew that she had long ago gotten over those feelings she'd once had for him and the last thing he wanted to do was make her uncomfortable around him; not when they had so little time left together.

Alistair slid out of the tent, grabbed his gear and headed down to the pond to clean up and to take care of the growing monster between his thighs. By the time he made it back, Sabrina had made breakfast and had started to break camp. Within the hour, they were back on the road, however they only traveled about half the day before she was complaining of a terrible headache and asked to make camp early. Alistair complied. This was her journey, they would make it however fast or slow she wanted.

Once again they spent the night talking and reminiscing about their past travels and their crazy companions. They eventually crawled into the tent together and they fell asleep with her head resting on his chest and his fingers entwined in her long tresses.

Sabrina flailed against his side jolting him awake. She whimpered in her sleep as her head thrashed back and forth. He got to his knees and pulled her to him, but she screamed out, "NO, no you w-won't…you…t-take me."

Alistair softly shook her as he called her name trying to wake her up, but she lurched forward violently and crashed against his chest. She cried out again and this time he shook her harder and yelled her name. He felt her relax and then go limp in his arms. Still on his knees he pulled her quivering body tightly against his as she sobbed into his chest. He tenderly stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"Don't cry, Bree. It's okay. It's going to be okay," Alistair said soothingly, but her tears still flowed. He could not bear the hopelessness of her weeping and he tried to continue to comfort her.

"I'm here, Bree. I'm here and I'm not going to leave you. I promise," Alistair whispered lovingly. His words seem to do the trick and she calmed down as she nestled against him. She slid her arms around his neck and clung to him. The delicate scent of jasmine rose from her warm skin and he could feel the heat of her breath on his neck. She melted further into him, her soft curves fitting themselves against him like a smooth satin drape. Her soft breasts pressed against him through the thin material of her night shirt and he could feel her peaked nipples against his bare chest.

Holding her, touching her, smelling her made his head begin to spin and his loins tighten with desire. As much as he wanted her, this couldn't happen. Would his insanity never end? He yanked his hands back and she gazed up at him through shuttered lashes, licking her red lips. By the Maker she was going to be his undoing. She lifted her hand and lovingly caressed his cheek. His heart swelled, the air rushed from his lungs and it left him lightheaded with yearning.

His fingers had somehow become entangled in her long hair as his fingertips gently stroked her temples; he had forgotten how soft her skin was. Her thumb was now at the edge of his mouth as it touched his lips. He closed his eyes as he tried to fight the hunger that he had buried for this woman years ago, but as her finger outlined the curve of his lips he couldn't resist and he sucked ever so lightly on the sweet flavor of her fingertip.

In the back of his mind a voice screamed that he needed to stop. He needed to get a hold of himself. This was his dead brother's wife, he was still a married man, he had spent years getting over her and this was an ill advised decision. So argued the sane part of his mind, but without adequate volume to drown out the wild, insane part of his brain that was shouting how much he had missed her, how much he needed her and to take her and make love to her for what may be the last time before both of them went to the meet the Maker.

She leaned further into him, she was so close he could feel the tantalizing sweetness of her breath on his skin. She cupped his face in her hands as she teased his lips with her silky smooth tongue. Alistair felt himself grow painfully harder, she felt it too and pushed her hips against him.

He groaned and he heard her snicker. She was driving him crazy and she was taking some deep sense of satisfaction in it. She continued to ever so gently caress his lips with her tongue, as she silently begged him to give her entry. Her scent inundated his senses; a scent that he had longed for years to be close to again, a scent that was now rapidly pushing him over the edge.

He pulled her to him, opened his mouth to her and devoured her like a man that had been stranded in the desert for days in desperate need of water. The taste of her was as intoxicating as he remembered and it only made him want her more. He was eager to remember her touch, to remember her taste, and the feel of her heat enveloping him and the mere thought of it made him tremble with anticipation. This was wrong, the moral part of his brain reminded him, while the evil part encouraged him to take what he had so long denied himself.

"Alistair, make love to me," she whispered.

"Oh Bree, I want to. You can feel I want to, but…"

She placed her finger on his lips to silence him. "Please Alistair, make love to me," she whispered again in a voice so sexy that it made him grow even harder if that was possible. Her request broke through all of his resistance.

Just before he reclaimed her lips with his he whispered, "Yes, Bree. Maker, there is nothing I want more."

This time when his lips captured hers, he was not gentle as the hunger for her roared to life and his kiss was that of a starved lover. Every caress, every moment made his need grow even more and his body was wrestling for control over his mind. It no longer mattered what was right, what was proper, all that mattered was that she was in his arms once again, he wanted her and Maker be praised she wanted him too.

He pulled back from her and looked into her beautiful face. She was flushed and she was breathing. Her lips were swollen and they trembled slightly. He pulled her nightshirt over her head then lowered her down to the bed roll and removed her panties. His breath caught as he took in what a vision she still was. There were a few new scars and a large one on her side where the Archdemon's tail had struck. An old spark of guilt flared up, but he pushed it ruthlessly down.

His own body shook with fear, pleasure and desire, but he wanted to take his time as he reintroduced himself to every nook and cranny of her tantalizing body, wanted to give her unbelievable pleasure. He ached to touch her, to taste her and as he knelt between her legs he leaned forward and lovingly caressed her stomach and breasts. He leaned down, rested his forehead on her stomach and deeply inhaled her scent. He heard a sigh escape her lips as he dragged his mouth across her stomach, tasting her with the tip of his tongue. His mouth moved even lower and his head finally slid between her legs. He shifted one hand underneath her to cup her bottom while the other stroked up her inner thigh. Alistair gently brushed the wetness of her hot center.

He looked up at her and smiled as she anxiously waited for his first touch to the core of her pleasure, to the tight bundle of taut nerves and when his fingers finally brushed her swollen folds, he heard her sigh. He gently stroked his fingers through her curls and she moaned as his fingers slowly and tormentingly slid in and out of her as his thumb teasingly caressed the nub that was now wet and swollen.

"Mmmm, you are so wet, Bree, you feel incredible," he whispered as he watched her tremble and writhe at his touch. He was reminded of all the nights they'd spent together during the Blight; of how they had shut out the rest of the world for a little while and just got lost in each other. He was glad he had a chance to relive those amazing memories one last time.

He heard her moan his name and she clenched her fingers in his hair as he lowered his head, sweeping his tongue through her folds to her moist center. Sabrina whimpered as he explored her with his tongue and he laved her with long, slow strokes before he dipped lower to taste the honey that now flowed out of her. Maker, she tasted even better than he remembered.

Unhurriedly, he lapped at the dewy center as her fingers tightened in his thick hair. He moved forward as his tongue swirled around the swollen nub before he softly sucked it into his mouth. She cried out his name again and his stomach flipped at the sound of his name falling from her lips. He thought he would never hear her say his name like that again and he revelled in the sound of it.

Alistair recalled exactly how to touch her, where to touch, how to lick, nibble, and suck delicately to provoke the intense reaction he was receiving from her now. He could hear her heart race, as her breath came in soft pants, every nerve taut as he pushed her closer to paradise. Alistair slid one, then two fingers inside her and Sabrina mewled softly as his mouth closed once more over the tiny pearl and began to suck and tease her to completion. He was ravenous for the taste of her, he had missed her so much and he just couldn't get enough of her. Her legs began to shake and Alistair felt her body begin to spasm around his fingers as the exquisite bliss washed over her.

He continued to lick softly at her dewy wetness, he drank her in as he savored her taste, he was intoxicated by her. Sabrina attempted to pull away, the sensation too intense.

"Let me, my love. You're so wet, so delicious….and I've missed the sweet taste of you," he whispered softly, as he refused to release his hold on her. Sabrina gave in to his desire and trusted him to prolong their pleasure. She quivered and moaned as he continued his skillful exploration of her flesh. Alistair tantalised her with expertise as he brought her to orgasm twice more before he finally released his hold on her.

The need to be in her, to feel her heat wrapped around him was now overpowering. He kissed his way back up her body, he grasped her shoulder with one hand, slid the other underneath her and rolled them over so that she was on top.

"I need to see you, to watch you," he moaned. She lifted her hips and with one swift movement, guided him into her. As her moist hot center enveloped him, millions of little shock-waves rippled throughout his entire body and every nerve ending in his body hummed. It was sheer ecstasy being inside her as he moved in time with her. He delighted in the sigh that escaped her lips as she settled on top of him and he filled her completely.

She began to ride him slowly as she rubbed herself back and forth against him. She was so beautiful, so tantalizingly delicious as her face shuttered with desire and hunger while she pressed against him, her breasts swaying and her dark curls cascading around her face. Maker, how he still loved this woman. After all these years, after all they had been through, it was still only her…it would always only be her.

Alistair reached up to caress her breasts and she leaned down so he could take her luscious nipple into his mouth; he sucked hard at it as she continued to ride him; she swirled and ground her hips into him in a slow erotic dance. Alistair gripped her hips, and moved her harder and faster as he drove himself deeper into her.

"Oh Maker, yes Alistair," she moaned as her muscles tightened. She shook with ecstasy as she came and she made such a sweet keening sound as the ripples of pleasure flooded through her and her inner walls contracted around his length. As much as he wanted to ride over that edge with her, he forced himself to hold off. He wasn't ready for this to end, he wasn't ready to not be inside her anymore.

He rolled her over onto her back and plunged deeper. She moaned as her hips rose up to meet him. He pulled back and then buried himself to the hilt as he sealed his lips over hers, his tongue delving into her mouth as he drank her in; he needed to savor her, consume her as his hunger for her burned right through him.

Alistair moved in long, slow thrusts and Sabrina wrapped her legs around his waist so that she could take him ever deeper, and his pace picked up. His one hand held her wrist above her head while the other was entangled in her hair. He moaned into her throat and ear, "Bree, my Bree," over and over again like a prayer as he worshiped her body with his. How long and for how many years had he fantasized about being with her one last time, holding her, kissing her, tasting her? Maker, he didn't want this night to end.

She arched her back while her hips pushed forward against him as she sought deeper penetration. Alistair moved to his knees, grasped her hips and surged downward, thrusting deeper into her with every stroke. Alistair knew he wouldn't last much longer so he moved his thumb to her throbbing nub. He stroked back and forth sending her over the edge once more; she threw her head back and cried out in pleasure as her body writhed. The sheer bliss cascaded over him as her muscles constricted around him, draining him.

"Ahhh, Bree I love you," he cried out as his body shuddered against hers.

It took Alistair several minutes to become fully aware of his environment and to realize that he had just told Bree that he loved her. _Oh shit, how could he be so stupid?_

The thing he didn't want to do was make her uncomfortable around him, but the truth of the matter was that he did love her. He had always loved her and he would until he died. When he got up the nerve he looked down at her and saw the shock on her face.

He slid from her and rested his hand on her stomach, gazed at her again and then bent his head. "Bree, I'm sorry that I just yelled that out like that, obviously it shocked you. I didn't mean to do that. It just slipped out, but it's the truth, I do love you. I have ever since I met you in Ostagar and I always will. I know you don't feel that way about me anymore and that's okay. What I don't want is that little declaration to make things uncomfortable between us."

Sabrina was quiet for a long moment and then asked, "How do you know I don't feel that way about you anymore?"

Alistair's head snapped up and he stared at her with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. "Alistair, you were my first love. You never really get over your first true love, you just learn to live without them. I have always loved you, I always will, but when our circumstances changed, I had to move on. I was lucky enough to fall in love again." She hesitated and smiled slightly. "I was fortunate enough to have two great loves in my life, but the Maker does have a sense of humor since those two great loves just happen to be twin brothers."

Alistair laughed as he leaned down and kissed her stomach before he rested his head on her. She still loved him. She had never stopped. If he was truthful with himself he knew that Tristen was the love of her life, but it warmed his heart to know that she still loved him.

Alistair kissed her stomach again and looked up at her, "Why? Why did you want this to happen now?"

She smiled at him again. "I didn't want to head into the Deep Roads without making love to you one last time. Not to mention I was incredibly horny."

Caught off guard Alistair nearly choked as he laughed out loud. "Well, you do have a sex drive to rival most men. One of the many things I loved about you."

"Well, that and the fact that I haven't had sex in five years. It does tend to make a girl feel rather randy," she sighed.

"You haven't had sex since…since Tristen left for the Deep Roads?" Alistair asked completely shocked.

"No. For the longest time…at least three years I had no desire to have another man touch me. When my libido began to show signs of life again, there wasn't anyone around that I actually wanted. Oh, I'm sure I would have had a few volunteers, but I just wanted to scratch an itch and most of the men around me would have wanted something more…something I was emotionally unable to give them. So I just took care of the itch myself."

A wicked grin spread across Alistair's face. "I wouldn't mind a demonstration of your scratching techniques."

"Oh, you would, huh?"

Alistair continued to grin as he nodded.

"Hmm, I'll have to think about that," Sabrina purred.

"Sooo….then maybe this wasn't just a one-time thing?" Alistair asked.

"Hmmm, maybe if you play your cards right it might not be."

Alistair rolled over and pulled her to his chest, "Well, that's good to know. I've become a very good card player." He kissed her forehead and held her tightly. They fell asleep in each other's embrace.

It took them seven more days to reach Orzammar. They could have made it in three, but they only rode for half the day before they would make camp and then spend the rest of the night making love to each other. It was the happiest seven days of Alistair's life.

When they reached Orzammar, a guard informed them that Bhelen was expecting them at the Palace. They greeted the Dwarven King, who insisted that they stay at the Palace while they remained in the city. Two days had passed and tomorrow they would make their journey into the Deep Roads together. Bhelen had insisted on throwing a state dinner for Sabrina, much to her dismay, but on some level Alistair thought she was pleased to say goodbye to the dwarves that she cared about. Dagna was there as was Kardol with several members of the Legion of the Dead.

As she made her way further into the room, Alistair watched as the air around them shifted and Zevran shimmered into view. Sabrina staggered slightly in surprise and gasped as she whispered, "Zev."

The assassin smiled at her, "La mia dea mortale, you didn't think I could possibly let you have the last word and not give me the chance to tell you what you have meant to me."

Alistair watched as Sabrina's lips trembled and her eyes filled with tears. "Z-zev…" her voice broke and she couldn't finish the sentence. Zev grabbed Sabrina by the waist and before he could react the assassin shimmered into the shadows with Sabrina in his arms.

xxXxx

Holding onto her tightly, Zevran remained cloaked in the shadows as he edged around the room, out the door and back to his room in the palace. Zev had done several jobs for Bhelen and because of that he always had an open invitation to the palace.

When they entered the room they both slid out of the shadows. He led her over to the bed and sat her down. Then he walked over to the bar and poured both of them a glass of wine. He handed it to her and then sat down beside her. He ran his fingers through her long dark curls and tucked her hair behind her ear. He smiled when he saw the earring that he had given her all those years ago, safely in her ear; he lovingly caressed the earlobe. His heart was pounding with fear, he didn't know how to say all that he felt for the exquisite creature that sat beside him and he had no idea how he was going to go on without her.

He clasped her hands and drew in a deep breath, "Mia Tesoro Amica, when I woke the morning you left and read your letter, for the first time that I can remember I had tears in my eyes. Not just because your words moved me so deeply, so profoundly, but because you denied me the chance to tell you what your love and friendship has meant to me. I went to kill you as a way to end my own pain and suffering. When I met you that day on the road I wanted to die, but Maker only knows why you spared me and for the first time in my life, someone believed in me and trusted me.

"Bella mia, I am so thankful that I had you as a part of my life for the past twenty-six years. Our friendship is truly a miracle…a high born noble and the son of a whore assassin, most wouldn't have given us a chance in hell of making it, but we proved them wrong. I have very few people that I would actually consider a friend, but that has never bothered me because I have always had you, YOU make me content, YOU make me happy and Y-You make this life worth living. Bree, you know I'm not a praying man, but the one prayer that I made to the Maker, the relief that I strongly desire no matter how greedy it may sound, is that I can't live without you. I want to beg you, please don't go, but I know the pain you're in and it's selfish for me to ask that, so instead I implore you to take me with you. P-please Bree, my f-fragile heart can't continue to beat without you in this w-world, take me with you."

The sob tore from her throat as she gasped for breath, "Oh Z-zev…" Her hands shook beneath his and she bit her lip to try and gain some control of her emotions. She looked into his eyes, "Zev, I n-need you to live. I need to know that you are here, alive and carrying on the work that we started together. If you love me, you w-will live Zev."

Zev fell on his knees and buried his head in her lap and cried. She stroked his hair and back for a long time and then she forced him to look at her. "Promise me, Zevran, promise me you will live and that you will honor my memory and our friendship by living well."

He stared at her for a long time then he nodded slowly. She shook her head, "Not good enough. I want to hear you say it."

"Mia Tesoro Amica you have my word, on your love and friendship, I will honor your memory and live well."

She threw herself into his arms and held onto him tightly, "Thank you Zev."

xxXxx

Sabrina had been gone for hours and Alistair had been stuck entertaining Bhelen. This is not how he wanted to spend his last night. If he had to listen to one more story from the sodding bastard, he was going to throw himself at the feet of an Archdemon and beg it to eat him.

Then he saw her make her way back into the hall with Zev. He was holding her up as he escorted her in. She looked…she looked utterly drained. Alistair made his way over to her and took her from Zev. He looked at the assassin and he could see the anguish in his eyes and Alistair felt for him, glad beyond words that he would not be the one that had to stay behind. They both respectfully nodded at each other. He knew that it had been an emotional night for Bree and she had held on for as long as she could, but he didn't think she was going to last much longer. The corrupting taint and the long emotional goodbyes had taken their toll on her.

Alistair leaned in and whispered, "You need to rest. It's time to go."

She gave a curt nod and Alistair assisted her as she made her way around the room to say her final goodbyes then he led her back to their room, he quietly undressed himself and without a word undressed her.

He reached for her hand; at first he gently stroked her palm with his fingertips. She had once told him that his touch was like sweet magic and he hoped that some of that enchanted power gave her some additional strength. He then brought her palm to his lips, pressed tiny kisses into it and he felt a tremor pass through her.

He gazed at her beautiful face, her slender neck and shoulders, her toned arms, her incredibly alluring breasts, the flat sculpted stomach that led to her glorious womanhood and her long lean legs. He memorized every line, every curve as he drank in the unequalled woman that was his Bree.

He scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. He laid her down and joined her. His mouth sought hers, he poured every ounce of love he had for her into that kiss. This was not a night for exploration, tonight was about the need to be physically joined as one, to take solace and comfort in one another; their naked flesh met and in one swift movement he entered her. He heard her breathe a sigh of relief as she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him. He made love to her slowly, tenderly, leisurely as if they had all the time in the world. They both did a thorough job of pleasing each other and eventually they fell back on the bed completely sated, their legs and arms entangled in each other.

Alistair brushed a hair out of her eyes and smiled warmly at her. "Loss, it seems, has always been a part of my life, but it has taught me what should be valued. I've realized that the best kind of love stirs the soul and makes us want more; it places a fire in our hearts and gives us peace of mind. Loving you, Bree, taught me what kind of man I wanted to be and what kind of man I didn't want to become. I know I didn't always show it, but loving you made me want to be better – a better man, a better King, a better father and husband. The greatest honor of my life has been knowing and loving you."

Tears were streaming down her face and he used his thumb to wipe them away. "Alistair…"

He placed his thumb over her lips, "Sssh, you don't have to say anything."

Her lips kissed his thumb and then she pulled away slightly. "Alistair, I can't thank you enough for this past week. Since Tristen died I have been a shell of my former self, but these past two weeks I have been someone else with you, someone more like me. For the second time in my life, you brought me back to life when I felt dead inside. Alistair, you have given me strength to face what's ahead. I can't thank you enough for that. It has been one of my greatest joys to call you my King, my friend and my lover. Thank you."

Alistair leaned in and passionately kissed her then he pulled her to his chest and they fell asleep for the last time in each others' embrace.

_Alistair stood on the ramparts at Vigil's Keep, overlooking the valley and forest that surrounded the castle. H__e had always enjoyed spending time here. It was like coming home from an extended trip. The Wardens had always felt like family to him and both Tristen and Sabrina always made him feel like a member of the family._

_He felt his brother's presence and spun__ to find him. He was glad to see him and at the same time guilt tore through him as he thought about the past two weeks with Sabrina._

_Alistair smiled at him, "Well, we are almost home brother."_

_Tristen smiled back at him, "I know. It's been a long journ__ey for the two of you. I appreciate you being there for her. Helping her through this, Alistair. I don't know if she would have had the strength to make this journey without you."_

"_You don't believe that Tristen. She is the strongest person I know," A__listair countered._

_Tristen shook his head. "Since my calling she has slowly withdrawn into herself, she has been slowly dying for the past five years. It's been heartbreaking to watch, but these past two weeks with you, I saw her come back to life again,__ I saw her strength and drive renewed. You did that my brother, you gave her what I could not. I can't thank you enough for that and I owe you."_

_Now the guilt was really raging through him and for a moment he thought he might cry. He pinched the bridge__ of his nose as he tried to hold on to his emotions. When he opened his eyes again, Tristen was directly in front of him. He grasped Alistair's shoulders and looked directly into his eyes, "Alistair, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You love her, y__ou have always loved her and I know that she loves you, she always has, she never stopped, but life and circumstances took you out of her life and I was blessed to have her in mine. Alistair, she loved both of us separately, differently, but equally. So __there is nothing wrong with wanting to be intimate and take comfort in the person you love when you know your journey together is coming to a close."_

_Alistair looked at his brother completely amazed at his ability to understand the craziness of the circum__stances that they were in. "Tristen you have to know that when you were alive I never once acted on my feelings for Sabrina. I remained faithful to my wife and loyal to you."_

_Tristen gave him a knowing smile. "I know brother and I know there were times __that you could have pressed your advantage, but didn't. I appreciate that and I know how hard that was for you because I know the depths of your feelings for her. They run as deep as mine do."_

_Alistair hugged his brother and Tristen returned the hug. "__I'll see you soon, Alistair."_

"_I'll see you soon, Tristen."_

Alistair jolted awake and he thought about his encounter with his brother. Tristen was an amazing man and the Maker had truly blessed him by bringing him back into his life. As crazy as their situation was, they had still managed to love and respect each other. Alistair drifted back to sleep thinking about one of his favorite adventures that he had shared with his twin.

They rose early the next morning and ate breakfast in comfortable silence. Once they were dressed in their armor, they quietly headed out of the Palace. As they approached the entrance to the Deep Roads there was a large group of men and women gathered near the entryway. As they got closer Sabrina recognized the crest on their shields and came to a sudden stop. At least two dozen Wardens stood facing each other, the two rows of Wardens stood far enough apart to create a long path. As they approached, a Warden spun to face them and a gasp slipped through Sabrina's lips when she recognized Nate. Alistair looked down the line of Wardens and he recognized many of the faces there; standing across from Nate was Anders, then Oghren and Sigrun, then Connor and Tess. The tribute was humbling beyond words.

Nate held his sword directly in front of his face with the end pointed upward. "To honor the two Wardens that fought ferociously to end the Blight, to pay tribute to the King of Ferelden, to honor the Hero and first Ferelden Warden Commander since the Blight, the Grey Wardens salute you as you make your final journey as Wardens."

Nate then spun to face the Warden on the opposite side of him. He then called out, "Ferelden Wardens, present arms."

In one swift movement the Wardens raised their swords high into the air creating an arch. Both Alistair and Sabrina stood in awe for a long moment, both moved beyond words or actions.

Then Alistair grabbed Sabrina's hand, he lovingly smiled at her, "Are you ready?"

Sabrina nodded. "Then let's go. He's waiting for us; it's time to head home."

Sabrina smiled at him, squeezed his hand indicating that she was ready. Both of them drew their swords and like they had all those years ago, together they charged toward their destiny.

**Author's Notes – It was with a sad heart that I wrote these Epilogue****s. It was hard to say good-bye to these strong, vivid characters that loved deeply and passionately and had grown together as their lives evolved. I hope that you have enjoyed their tale.**  
***Thank you to all the faithful readers and reviewers of this story. ****I have appreciated your comments and reviews. You guys are wonderful.**

***After writing chapter 17 and then playing Dragon Age 2, Anders has inspired me to continue on with this story. Although the story will center on Anders, Brin, Tristen and Alistair will**** all be a part of the upcoming sequel, Blood Sugar Sex Magik, so I hope ****that you will continue to follow their journey.**

***Last, but not least I ****want thank ****RandomWittering and Jinx1983****for help and support throughout this entire story**** and for their ****for their outstanding advice with these three emotional epilogues. Their suggestions help make these epilogues even more powerful. Thank you. You two special ladies are the best**** and you mean the world to me****.**


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