Lost Girl 1. Chapter 1

Lauren's enthusiasm over Christmas had initially taken everyone by surprise. After all, none of them had known her to celebrate her own birthdays let alone anything else. It had, of course, been an affect of the emotional weight of her enslavement. Her first Christmas in the fae world, she'd spent the precious few free hours she had been given with Nadia; talking to the comatose woman and making promises she didn't know how to keep, or even if they were _possible_ to keep. At the time, she'd thought that spending those scant hours with her would have been cathartic, that she could remind herself that this was all temporary—all for Nadia. But after most of her time had been spent leaning over her unresponsive girlfriend and crying until she felt sick, she'd decided to stop celebrating everything altogether. It was too hard.

Eventually, dates that had once meant something would slip by virtually unnoticed and they would have gone by completely unacknowledged if she didn't have outside clues. Thanksgiving was only ever noted because everyone started talking about Kitchener-Waterloo Oktoberfest and the parade. Halloween because of the decorations and Hocus Pocus playing on at least two channels at all hours. New Years would only register because the automatic time stamp on her computer rolled to the next year. When filling out forms, she had had to routinely check her unused and rarely remembered drivers license to verify her date of birth. The only reason why she ever knew it was Christmas was because the city insisted on decorating every stationary piece of public property and all of her techs would go home early on Christmas Eve, not showing up at all Christmas Day—leaving her alone to work through the whole day.

Lauren had been a slave eight years before she and the little group she'd come to know as family had inadvertently (but happily) caused the restructuring of the hostilely dichotomous Light-Dark system into an _actual_ alliance. There were still a lot of problems—it wasn't a perfect set up—but there was a representative tribunal and they weren't threatened with catastrophic prophecies and-or apocalypses every other week. Even so, it still took until the following year before holidays felt as important as they'd used to. More important, even. Lauren had always liked holidays; Christmas in particular, and once she'd regained her celebratory sprit it seemed to have brought with it all the suppressed joie de vivre of all that she'd forgone until then.

The overblown quality of the first Christmas after the long hiatus was surprising, but expected. No one had really anticipated just how into the holiday she was going to get, but it was entirely understandable. She was _free_ and she was _happy_ and she took pleasure in tons of simple things she hadn't been allowed or able to do for a long time so no one was going to begrudge her a flamboyant Christmas celebration. The second Christmas was no less toned down than the first and everyone'd been amusedly indulgent, but since then Lauren's zeal for Christmas was often lovingly compared to Trick's enthusiasm over Yule.

Now, by this third Christmas, Lauren's annual December 15th party had become an expected and well-attended event. Like the rest of the core group, Tamsin had arrived a couple hours before the actual party started as was expected of them at this point. Kenzi had been the one to initiate that particular tradition, taking it upon herself to get the group to have a little 'family holiday bonding time' by making their own ornaments to add to Lauren's tree. Tamsin never really cared that much about holidays—_any _holidays. Or at least, she'd never used to. But she cared about Lauren and that extended to the things the doctor cared about. And though if ever asked she'd never admit to such a thing out loud, she'd started to look forward to these parties. At least the time spent with just the gang before others started to trickle in.

The valkyrie wasn't exactly a social butterfly, but she was no introvert either; she usually ended up goading some unsuspecting friend-of-a-friend of someone into one contest or another, stealing away to the kitchen to take brief respites from socializing and spend some quality time with the alcohol and homemade eggnog. That's where she had just retreated to after embarrassing a few macho-types in several arm wrestling matches. She was sitting on the counter and nursing a tumbler full of rum that had only just enough eggnog in it to alter the color. Tamsin's current perch allowed her gaze to fall unimpeded through the entryway of the kitchen and into living room, the noise from where the bulk of the party was taking place slightly dimmed by her distance and the covered bar counter set into the wall sandwiched between the two entryways to the kitchen.

She could just make out Lauren talking animatedly to two of her employees at the principal joint fae lab, a grin on her face and gesticulating excitedly. Judging from the techs in question, it was just as likely they were talking about some new research at work (Lauren's moratorium on shoptalk during the Christmas party only ever lasted as long as it took someone to bring up some new theory), as it was arguing about why Deep Space Nine was so unappreciated. Tamsin felt the corners of her mouth twitch up, throwing back half her drink before shaking her head and forcing her attentions elsewhere.

Bo was barely visible on the edge of what she could see over the bar counter, talking to Kenzi and pretending not to notice the occasional admirer trying to subtly con the succubus over to the end of the foyer which Tamsin couldn't see from her position but knew there was mistletoe hanging directly over that spot because Kenzi had put it there several hours earlier. Dyson and Hale she couldn't see at all, but knew they were seated at a table at the far end of the living room playing cards with three other guests by the boisterous laughing coming from that general direction. No sooner than she'd located the only people she really cared about at the party and verified that they were doing alright, her gaze slipped directly back to the human doctor who was taking a measured sip of the drink in her hand to hide the kind of self-satisfied grin she always got when she'd proven a point to someone who was being particularly stubborn.

When Tamsin had finally admitted to herself that she was feeling more than friendly for the blonde human a couple months prior, it had been with no small amount of vexation. It wasn't that it was surprising, far from it actually. The Dark Fae felt lucky to count Lauren among her friends and the two of them had become close over the years; brought together through the trials they'd faced as a known hazard to being part of Bo's close circle and the fact that they understood each other in a way Tamsin hadn't been understood by anyone. Their pasts and motivations were often more parallel than either realized until they spoke about them and they had become each other's confidants. Tamsin often found herself telling things to Lauren she'd never even consider talking to anyone else about; not even Kenzi.

So it wasn't that the feelings were unexpected; it was that she couldn't stuff them into the mental box where she normally locked away all the emotions she didn't want to deal with. Not anymore, anyway. It had been fine at first; she'd been able to keep everything confined. It wasn't even that she was averse to thinking impure thoughts about Lauren. Tamsin was entirely used to random lascivious thoughts about one of her friends—she was fully cognizant that her friends were attractive and that was fine—but at some point 'wayward thoughts' had become 'zoned out daydreaming.' The teasing comments that slipped past her lips without her permission weren't just the cocksure remarks or lewd innuendo that populated the territory of her comfort zone, but sincere flirtations that made her stomach flip when they caused a flush to creep across Lauren's face.

Tamsin drained the rest of her drink and refilled the tumbler with the rum bottle she'd deliberately half hidden behind her, putting it back and pulling her fingers frustratedly through her loose hair. She'd foolishly assumed that if she at least acknowledged the extent of her feelings to herself, they'd be easier to get a handle on but it seemed like the second she had truly accepted that she was definitely into Lauren in a way that went beyond friendship or even just physical attraction, her mind decided quite resolutely and entirely without permission to ramp up everything she'd been trying to compartmentalize. It was uncomfortable, and in her opinion, _entirely_ unnecessary to boot.

Tamsin scowled briefly and forced her traitorous eyes to focus on the connected strings of multicolored lights running around the apartment walls near the ceilings, wanting to let some of her annoyance with herself seep away before she rejoined the festivities. Her attentions were so focused that she didn't notice Kenzi bouncing up next to her until her drink was yanked unceremoniously from her hand.

"Sup, dochka?" the lithe woman started brightly, taking a few gulps of Tamsin's rum and moving to replace what she'd drank with eggnog before taking another, more subdued, drink. "You better get your cute butt off the counter before Lauren comes in and lectures you about putting your ass where people prepare food. Again."

Tamsin smirked but slid off the counter compliantly, grabbing her drink back and scooting the bottle of rum over to the human. "Doing okay?"

Kenzi hummed in the affirmative as she leaned backwards slightly to check where Lauren was. Deciding the doctor was acceptably engrossed, she took a long draught directly from the bottle before putting it back on the counter. "Bobo's gotten preoccupied with one or three members of her fan club; I can only understand every other word Dr. Nerd and her geek squad are saying and I'm not actually sure if they're talking about _real_ science or Star Trek science. Hale just banned me from the card table because, and I quote:" she held up her fingers to do air quotes for emphasis, "'_you're fouling my winning streak, mama._'" She rolled her eyes and hopped up on the counter she'd just told Tamsin to get off of. "Not my fault I have the face of a goddess that drives lesser beings to distraction… so I gave the plebs a break and came to bother my fave valkyrie." She knocked the heels of her boots gently against the cabinets. "You having fun?"

Tamsin shrugged noncommittally but knew Kenzi would read it as the favorable gesture she'd intended and trained her gaze in front of her. "How many numbers?" she asked, referring to the annual bet they made on how many phone numbers Bo would end up with by the time the party was over.

Kenzi frowned and pulled out her cellphone to check the time. "I give it another hour before Lauren gives Dyson _the nod_ and he starts herding people towards the door, it's not time yet."

"That's not what I asked." Tamsin pointed out, taking a drink and trying not to look exasperated with herself that every time she let her eyes do what they wanted; they landed on Lauren.

"Five." Kenzi grumbled, jerking her foot to kick the Valkyrie lightly when a grin bloomed on her face. "But I still have at _least_ an hour and there's less new people than there was last year!"

"Sounds like a buncha bullshit excuses to me; you're going _down_."

Kenzi scoffed and the duo sat in companionable silence, listening to the din of the gathering that was punctuated with occasional loud bouts of laughter.

Tamsin generally considered herself pretty good at the surreptitious glances game, but she must have let her gaze linger solidly too long because Lauren looked around like she could feel someone watching her. She offered Tamsin a warm smile when their gazes met, tucking her lower lip between her teeth in a seeming effort to keep her smile from widening when the Dark Fae returned the smile very briefly before sharply darting her gaze away.

"So," Kenzi drawled, breaking the silence between them. "You gonna ask her out or what?"

Tamsin jerked her head to look at Kenzi who had a knowing grin on her face and grimaced. "Fuck." She muttered, knowing better than to try to con a con now that she'd been caught. Kenzi knew her too well for that. "Is it that obvious?"

The Russian shook her head and liberated Tamsin's drink from her again. "Not really, but you know you can't fool Mama Kenzi." She reached over and pinched the valkyrie's cheek playfully, laughing lightly when Tamsin looked affronted and slapped her hand away. "Don't think this is the first time I've seen you spacing out on Hotpants." She took a drink before continuing. "You should go talk to her so you guys can knock boots and get it over with already. The tension is making _me_ so antsy that I'm ready to just talk to her for you."

"_No_." Tamsin said quickly and firmly. She watched Kenzi raise her eyebrows and stop her drink halfway to her lips. The blonde took a short breath but couldn't suppress the pleading tone in her voice when she continued. "I'm serious, Kenz. And don't say anything to anyone else either."

Kenzi nodded carefully, the playfulness in her expression giving way to concern. "Okay," she started, lowering her voice when a few revelers came into the kitchen to refresh their drinks. "But why not? I know you're not _that_ dense… you _do_ know the flirting is going both ways, right?"

Tamsin gave a short, sharp shake of her head indicating that the other woman should keep her mouth shut while there were people in the kitchen and she offered the intrusive little group a tight smile as they waved towards the duo on their way out. Once the last of them were several paces from the entryway, Tamsin let out a heavy sigh and hoisted herself back onto the counter.

"I _know_." She started uncomfortably, but Kenzi gave her an opening to air her anxieties so she was going to take it. The petite Russian was her best friend. Better than. She'd more or less raised her while still a child when her final lifecycle had started. As much as a valkyrie who spent so little time as a child _could_ be raised, at any rate. "I know," Tamsin repeated with a sigh. "But it's one thing to just wanna fuck someone and a whole other thing to want," she cut herself off and looked away from Kenzi's widening eyes to concentrate on the veined white marble tiles on the floor. "It would be too complicated… there's all the history her and Bo have, and we're friends, right? I'd fuck that up. I _can't_ fuck that up." She gratefully took a mouthful of liquid when Kenzi offered her own drink to her. "Anyway, she seems pretty happy dating around and I…" she trailed off, staring into her glass and trying to verbalize her thoughts. "I don't want that. Not with her." She winced when Kenzi did a poor job muffling the squeal that slipped through the fingers of the hand she'd clamped over her mouth.

"Ohmigod," the human gushed in an excitedly loud whisper after she removed her hand. "You're in _so_ deep!"

"_I_ _know_." Tamsin groaned and let her head fall with a thump onto the cabinet behind it. "This is so fucked."

"No, no, it's totally adorable." Kenzi grinned when the blonde shot her a withering glare, which she ignored and hopped off the countertop to stand in front of the valkyrie. "Look, Lil T," she started seriously, slapping her hands down gently on Tamsin's knees. "I know it's hard for you to let people in and just give in to _feeling_ stuff," she held up a hand to stop whatever the Dark Fae was going to interrupt her with when Tamsin opened her mouth. "Don't try to be a smart ass, we're having a moment." She nodded approvingly when Tamsin remained silent. "It makes sense. It's taken time and some of us coming back from the dead, but you've let us in and vice versa, but this? This is a different kind of trust; a _scary_ kind of trust. I get it, but give the doc a little credit."

Tamsin shrugged but her expression conveyed that the impromptu pep talk was appreciated. She slumped back a little, nudging Kenzi gently away from her with her legs to signal she was done with this conversation. With a final pat to the valkyrie's knees, Kenzi stepped away from her to head back to the living room.

"Okay, I'll leave you to your pining, but Trick's on his way with some kick ass fae lightshow crap so come back to the party soon?" she smiled when the blonde nodded and left her alone in the kitchen again.

Tamsin wiped a hand over her face and stared unseeingly in front of her, her inward focus causing her vision to blur. She was distracted by her own thoughts for so long that she was taken off guard for the second time that night by someone positioning themselves right next to her. She smiled slightly at Bo in acknowledgment of her presence and offered her drink to the succubus casually.

"Thanks." Bo said genially after taking a sip and handing the nearly empty tumbler back. "I'm _not_ letting Kenzi put that mistletoe up next year."

"You say that every year." Tamsin snorted. "How many numbers ya got?"

"Seven," Bo replied with a grin and a gentle poke to the blonde's shoulder. "And don't think I don't know about the bets, because I do. And I'm willing to throw this year since you haven't won yet _if_ you cut me in."

Tamsin laughed and raised her tumbler in a toast to the succubus before draining the rest of its contents and setting the empty glass next to her on the counter. "I'm in. I'm not above cheating if it'll keep her from gloating about taking my money for a year."

Bo nodded understandingly and moved to rifle through Lauren's fridge, pulling out a beer and shutting the door again when the blonde declined her offer for one. "Tamsin?" she started tentatively, tossing her bottle cap into the trash. "Can I give you a friendly piece of advice?"

Tamsin hummed her accession absentmindedly, a smile ghosting her features as she saw that Kenzi had managed to get Hale to abandon the card game and was currently doing everything short of manhandling him over to where the mistletoe was.

"You can't let being afraid of screwing things up stop you from trying."

That got Tamsin's attention right away and she whipped her gaze to the brunette who was regarding her with an openly sincere expression. "I'm gonna _murder_ Kenzi." She vowed through gritted teeth, scowling when Bo chuckled lightly.

"She didn't say anything, I promise." Bo insisted, briefly laying a placating touch on Tamsin's hand that was gripping the edge of the countertop tightly. She leaned her back against the space next to the blonde and took a pull from the bottle in her hand. "I'm a succubus, remember? I don't need anyone to tell me when people are attracted to someone."

Tamsin squeezed her eyes shut briefly but nodded. Of course she knew. But why say something now? Did Bo know something she didn't? She was curious, but not curious enough to want to have that conversation with Bo. It was entirely possible she was misreading the situation like Kenzi had; even with the succubus powers.

"I've been noticing." Bo continued, inadvertently answering her first question. "I wanted to say something, though I wasn't sure if I should. But I wanted to make sure you weren't holding back because of me."

"Right, cause everything orbits around planet Bo." Tamsin replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Bo smiled, not put off by the tone. She'd long ago grown accustomed to sarcasm from the valkyrie when something struck a nerve or she was embarrassed and all it did now was to tell Bo she'd hit too close to the mark. "I just," she started, looking over the bar top at something out of the line of Tamsin's vision. "I love you both." She said finally, returning her attention to the valkyrie. "You both deserve to be happy and I think you could do that for each other if you'd quit dancing around for two seconds."

Tamsin sighed, deflating a bit as she did. "I don't think I can." She admitted; her tone somehow conveying the insecurities she'd aired to Kenzi without actually having to give them specific voice again.

Bo nodded sympathetically and squeezed the blonde's shoulder briefly before dropping her hand. "Just think about it, okay? Trust me, she's not going to wait around forever."

"Yeah." Tamsin mumbled, unsure herself if she was agreeing to think about it or acknowledging that if she stalled long enough, she'd lose whatever kind of chance she had.

Bo pushed herself away from the counter in an obvious move to go back to the party. "Talk to her," she advised with a kind expression. "I get it; I really do." She chuckled a little self-deprecatingly. "A lot of things could go wrong…but a lot of things could go right, too."

"Yeah," Tamsin repeated, though her tone was much more thoughtful than before, sighing once Bo left. She stayed where she was sat for several minutes, trying to collect herself a little. As her eyes were wont to do, they sought Lauren out.

The doctor was across from her on the far side of the living room in a small conversational group, nearly doubled over with laughter with one hand steadying herself on Dyson's shoulder who had a pleased grin on his face. Lauren wiped at her eyes as her laughter subsided and she glanced around the room, clearly looking for something, stopping when her gaze settled on Tamsin. The doctor's smile, which had been fading since her fit of laughter ended, grew in size again and she beckoned the valkyrie over in invitation. Tamsin's mouth unconsciously fixed itself into a responding grin and she slid off the counter to make her way into the living room, pleasant warmth spreading out from her chest as she left the kitchen.


	2. Chapter 2

Lauren knew she shouldn't mess with Tamsin too much, but she just couldn't seem to help herself. It wasn't as if the valkyrie was unaware of her enthusiasm over Christmas (even she would call herself a little overzealous at times), but this was their first Christmas together as a couple and while Tamsin predictably grumbled moodily over most everything, she'd also readily participated Lauren's often detailed Christmas preparations; mostly without any encouragement. It was sweet and Lauren knew she shouldn't take advantage, but it was fun to make up some overly meticulous Christmas ritual to see if Tamsin would call her out on it or think she was being serious.

She found the valkyrie's reluctant Christmas spirit incredibly endearing and it was hard not to press her luck. Lauren usually started her annual attempts to shame Santa's grotto in the decoration department right after the annual Santa Claus Parade in mid-November which was partially a testament to her holiday dedication, and partially because her work schedule wasn't structured in a way to let her knock all the decorating out in one go and she liked to have everything up before the Christmas party. The one thing she always saved until the last was the tree.

Sure, she'd go looking around for a tree beforehand, but whatever fragrant fir she settled on never crossed the threshold of her door before December 10th and she'd spend that evening or whatever closest day she had off work weighing the branches down with as much ornamentation as she could manage. Whatever forces governed luck were aligned properly that year and she had the next two days off. She'd managed to set the tree itself up without waiting for her girlfriend who had the weekend off as well but had still been at work. She had even gotten the ornate red and gold tree skirt ironed and situated perfectly just as Tamsin rang the doorbell.

Lauren had laughed and shook her head as she made her way over to the door. Tamsin had a key; she'd had a key well before they'd even started dating. Generally, she had zero qualms about using it (or, like Kenzi, little to no misgivings about occasionally picking the lock when she'd forgotten her key somewhere). She had even used it during most of the six and a half months they'd been dating, but the valkyrie had recently insisted on knocking or ringing the bell, the habit coinciding tellingly with when the two of them had exchanged those three 'little' words. Lauren knew that Tamsin's sincere but unnecessary chivalrousness was a way for her to feel in control over her nervousness about the seriousness of their relationship and the doctor thought it was charming, if not mildly aggravating at times.

Currently, Lauren was busy carefully unwrapping ornaments from the box in front of her on the coffee table; checking them over before placing them on top of their tissue paper prisons back in the cubby they came from. Though she wasn't looking in her direction, she knew Tamsin was still struggling with the unholy mass of knots in the cords of the string of lights by her quiet grousing and the sporadic kicking of the loose cord that was coiled near her feet. The two of them had just finished a pretty heated discussion on whether or not there could be some kind of as of yet unknown species of underfae who delighted in the chaos of tangled Christmas lights—not matter how fastidiously they had been put away the previous year—and thrived on the exasperation of the poor bastard who had to sort them out (Tamsin pointing out repeatedly that she was the poor bastard in this scenario and could certainly confirm that she felt her energy being sapped away).

Lauren bit back a laugh, glancing over when Tamsin let out a string of obscenities and dropped her hands to her sides, gripping the knot she'd been working on tightly and glowering at the ceiling agitatedly. "Doing okay, baby?" she asked teasingly, the concern in her voice not hiding her amusement in the slightest.

"Don't you fuckin '_baby_' me, Lewis." Tamsin demanded, perturbed. It was one thing to be unwittingly talked into untangling Christmas lights, but she had _seen_ the jumbled mess before she'd agreed to do it. She hadn't been talked into anything. She'd been outright conned. "You know they sell fake trees, right?" she asked, moving her glare from the polished beams overhead and turning it onto her girlfriend where it softened slightly. "Like with the lights already on them?" she shook the knot towards the other blonde to emphasize her point.

Lauren scoffed and shook her head. "It's not the same. Part of the charm of the holiday is the smell of the tree, you know? Artificial trees don't smell."

"They _also_ don't make you wanna go on a murderous rampage." She dropped into the armchair she'd been standing in front of and turned her attention back to the green bundle. "If this happens _every_ year, how the hell do you keep from losing your shit?"

"Well, I find that narrowing my focus on tedious but involved tasks, especially if they involve repetitive motions, I can get into this sort of meditative state of mindfulness where," she cut herself off when she noticed Tamsin had stopped working on the cords and was staring at her with a raised eyebrow and a look of skeptical amusement. Lauren rolled her eyes with a smile. "Okay; that and a few glasses of caribou." She laughed at Tamsin's eager expression and set the hideously bright ceramic ornament Kenzi had made last year back into the box half unwrapped, standing up from her spot on the couch. "Which I made last night and I'll go warm up right now."

"You're the best, doc."

"I know." The doctor threw over her shoulder playfully as she made her way into the kitchen to prepare the drink. Lauren leaned against the counter across from the bar while waiting for the alcoholic concoction to warm up and studied Tamsin over the top of the bar. The valkyrie had gone back to trying to untangle the lights, leaning forward in her seat and her face set into a frown of deep concentration. Lauren smiled after a while and turned her attentions back to the drink, taking a sip to verify its temperature before moving back towards the living room.

She paused at the threshold between the living room and the kitchen, leaning against the wall and content for a moment to watch her girlfriend slowly but surely unwind the clutter in her hands. She'd been surprised that day late last May when the Dark Fae had asked her out. Not surprised that Tamsin had feelings for her—she'd known that for ages—but she'd been surprised the other blonde had finally said something about it.

Lauren wasn't usually one to let someone she was interested in play coy with her for too long, but with Tamsin it had been a genuine skittishness and she'd wanted to let her figure out what she wanted to do with no pressure. She'd decided shortly after the party last December though, that she was going to give it until the end of June before she expedited whatever was going to happen herself; good, bad, or indifferent. Lauren had never really minded the will-they-won't-they shuffle that usually preceded a relationship (or sometimes just some really good sex) and occasionally even enjoyed it, but there was only so long she was willing to do that dance before she just got too frustrated.

She smiled unconsciously as Tamsin muttered 'gotcha now, you little shit' smirking triumphantly when a sizable portion of the knot loosened. Lauren liked how comfortable the other blonde looked in her space. Not that Tamsin was ever really uncomfortable in Lauren's space and she reasoned that her perception was certainly colored with her feelings about her girlfriend, but it was nice nevertheless. It was in that moment, just watching the valkyrie untangle a wad of Christmas lights that she could suddenly feel her future with Tamsin almost tangibly.

Lauren felt her breath catch, as she was overwhelmed with an unexpected rush of emotion. She never got into a relationship unless she felt it had potential; she was a long-haul kind of person and didn't like to string women along or be strung along so it wasn't the idea of a future with the other blonde that had shocked her, it was the clarity and sureness with which she could see that future. She usually scoffed at the idea that a person could tell when they're going to be with someone indefinitely. It was a nice romantic cliché, one that she'd indulged in before more than once herself, but that was all it was: ardent hoping colored by love. But this, right now, she was _sure _of. Sure enough that she was mentally taking back everything she'd thought about the idea previouslyand that feeling was so intense that it almost felt dizzying.

Tamsin finally registered the weight of Lauren's gaze and looked up at her girlfriend, cocking her head to one side to try and puzzle out her expression. "What?" she asked, sounding (and feeling) a little self-conscious under the considerable emotionality on the human's face.

"Nothing." Lauren insisted before clearing her throat to try and play off the crack in her voice that had tightened her tone as just something stuck in her throat. "Nothing." She repeated much more normally. She pushed away from the entryway and crossed the living room to hand Tamsin the warm cup. "I just love you, is all."

Tamsin grinned beatifically and dropped the knot of lights to the floor between her feet, accepting the cup with one hand and using the other to lightly grip Lauren's wrist and pull her downwards, shifting herself up to kiss the human. "I love you too, doc." She breathed softly when they pulled apart. They regarded each other intensely until it got to be too much for Tamsin and she rolled her eyes to break the rising tension, taking a sip of her drink and setting it down on the tea table before picking up the tangle of lights. "I must if I'm willing to fuck around with this stupid thing all day."

Lauren laughed lightly and moved back to the box stuffed with ornaments. "You're a real saint. I'll make it worth your while later." She promised.

"Deal; but _you_ can do the damn lights next year."


	3. Chapter 3

"_There is no George Bailey. You have no papers, no cards, no drivers license, no 4F card, no insurance policy…"_

Lauren glanced briefly away from the movie to look at Tamsin whose eyes were glued to the television, her features flickering in what light was being given off by the screen and the Christmas tree, appearing to be rather engrossed—but Lauren knew better. _It's A Wonderful Life_ was the doctor's favorite Christmas movie. If it came on TV while she was home, she'd put it on, even if she wasn't particularly paying attention to it and she sat down to watch it on DVD twice a year: once on December 1st and again, like tonight, on Christmas Eve. Tamsin hated the movie. Well, _hate_ might have been too strong a word, but she definitely didn't see its mass appeal and while she would sit through multiple viewings of the film; she rarely got more than five minutes in without making some snide comment or launching into why it was an overrated movie.

She felt George Bailey was 'a fuckin asshole' because he took his stress out on his kids who couldn't conceptualize what was happening, and his wife who just wanted to help. She thought he was a total sleaze in his pursuit of Mary and her favorite rant themes were based either on the scene where he's creepily smelling her hair while on the phone with her boyfriend, or the scene where she's trapped naked in the bushes and he not only refuses to give her her robe, but antagonizes her as well. Even if she skipped the latter rant in favor of the former, at that point in the movie she always commented something to the effect of if that was _her_, she would have 'beat his mother tongue right out of his mouth; buck naked and all.' After which Lauren would usually concur that nudity was probably best then since blood was hard to get out of fabric.

Lauren didn't mind the commentary all that much; Tamsin often made some particularly valid points during her interjections and she'd be the first to admit that she rather enjoyed arguing with her girlfriend. She usually got to watch the movie all the way through in peace during the Christmas Eve viewing, but Tamsin's silence now was rather unsettling. Even when the valkyrie was "letting" Lauren watch her movie sans annotations, she could always be counted on for an occasional derisive snort, a silent disapproving shake of her head, and the periodic rolling of her eyes; but she had not only been dead silent since the movie started, she seemed to actually be paying attention to it as well.

It was an act, of course. Had she not known Tamsin as well as she did, Lauren might have been fooled but the other woman wasn't paying attention at all. Despite all appearances of watching the movie, her mind was definitely miles away and she was nervous about something to boot. If Lauren hadn't been leaning into her girlfriend and if Tamsin's left arm hadn't been draped around her shoulders, she might not have noticed the signs of apprehension at all. Tamsin fidgeted a lot when she was nervous, but it was a subtle sort of fidgeting; the kind of thing you'd only really notice if you were looking for it.

Discreet repetitive motions always seemed to be the preferred method of Tamsin's subconscious to work out any anxious energy that coursed through her. She'd been tapping out an irregular staccato rhythm on Lauren's arm sporadically, which was light enough in touch that it could have been easily mistaken for her fingers twitching of their own volition, if there hadn't been a pattern to it. From Lauren's position pressed against the taller blonde, she could—aided by the light of the television—see that Tamsin's right hand, which was currently balled into a loose fist on the armrest of the couch would clench and relax in a pattern similar to the tapping before it seemed that she caught herself and then she'd flatten her palm against the soft material under it; splaying her fingers out in very deliberate fashion for as long as it took her to forget herself and her fingers would curl inwards again, restarting the process.

Tamsin had been acting a little off for a while now and Lauren couldn't pinpoint what was going on or how to ask if there even _was_ anything going on. It had just started only that month, several days into December. Lauren had been out of town attending a three-day conference for work (to stay useful in the fae world, she still had to be current to the world of human science and often attended lectures and conferences to help her do so) and had stayed an extra day to take up the offer of a tour of a new joint fae lab. When she had finally gotten home late in the afternoon, Tamsin hadn't been there. She'd called to find out where the valkyrie had gone off to and when Tamsin had answered, her voice sounded strangely tight, like she was pent up with something but Lauren couldn't put her finger on what.

The older woman informed her that Kenzi had stopped by to force her to commence her Christmas shopping and she'd been dragged reluctantly to the mall. Lauren had never understood why someone who hated the mall as much as Tamsin kept insisting on waiting as close to the wire as possible to shop for a major holiday, but it had been entirely in line with Tamsin's usual habits and she had heard Kenzi's muffled shout of 'Welcome back, Hotpants; I'm keeping your woman for a couple more hours!' over the din of noise in what assumably was the mall. Lauren had asked if everything was okay, mentioning to Tamsin that she sounded odd and the valkyrie had quickly assured her everything was fine almost before she'd even finished asking the question, asserting she had to go but she'd be home for dinner. Lauren had frowned at her cellphone over the abrupt end to the conversation, but shrugged it off knowing that Kenzi was one of the most exuberant people Lauren had ever come across let alone knew personally and it was likely her girlfriend was getting towed forcefully from shop to shop and she put it out of her mind.

When Tamsin had come home, Lauren had been in the middle of working on dinner and she'd heard the valkyrie dump a bunch of bags on the couch, not even pausing on her way into the kitchen. The shorter blonde barely had time to turn around and say hi before there were hungry lips on hers and insistent hands at the buttons of her shirt. Lauren hadn't exactly been shocked by Tamsin's seemingly spontaneous eagerness. Her conferences didn't often involve her leaving town and when they did, she was rarely gone for more than a few days. Coincidentally, 'a few days' seemed to be the exact threshold the two of them had for not seeing each other at all with minimal to no contact so the enthusiastic welcome home she got wasn't unexpected and by the time either of them remembered the dinner Lauren had been preparing, it had been ruined and cold.

The following two days, Tamsin had become unusually restless in both action and speech. If Lauren hadn't known better, she would have thought her girlfriend was suffering from caffeine intoxication but she wasn't drinking coffee any more than usual and she'd always steadfastly refused to let any kind of energy drink pass her lips unless there was vodka in it and she had nothing to do the next day. Things seemed to go back to normal after that aside from Lauren noticing Tamsin spacing out a lot more. The valkyrie had never really been a head in the clouds kind of person, so it was noteworthy for Lauren to go into a room or look over at her and she'd be gazing off into space, completely lost in her own thoughts with her eyes glazed over. She never looked troubled, so Lauren hadn't bothered her about it.

A couple days after the annual Christmas party, the jitteriness from the beginning of the month had returned in what seemed to be a forcefully subdued fashion. In the last week since the party, whenever the doctor stumbled upon Tamsin in one of her fits of introspective woolgathering, the subtle signs of anxiety now accompanied them. Lauren wanted to ask what was going on since there was obviously _something_, but the other blonde hadn't been acting any differently outside of that. She wasn't irritable (well, no more than usual), she wasn't distant, she wasn't keeping any unusual hours, and the only person she'd sequester herself somewhere Lauren wasn't to keep her end of the conversation secret when the phone rang, was Kenzi (which Lauren was sure of because the theme to the X-Files that Tamsin had assigned to the other woman as a ringtone was the one that went off when she'd take calls privately).

Lauren would have been lying if she said she hadn't thought of asking Kenzi what was preoccupying Tamsin, but she knew it would be a futile effort. Not to mention that it was clear that whatever was dividing Tamsin's attentions, the valkyrie didn't want to talk to her about it or she would have by now. So Lauren did her best to keep from voicing her curiosity; grateful, at least, that Tamsin had Kenzi to talk to. Either the situation would resolve itself, or Tamsin would take Lauren's casual reminders that she could talk to her about anything to heart and out with it. Lauren just had to be patient.

She'd learnt through years of knowing Tamsin that she hated to be pushed to talk about something before she was ready and in the time they'd been a couple—just over a year and a half—she'd perfected not only her ability to gently steer the Dark Fae towards voicing things that were eating at her and making it seem like her idea, but raising the threshold for her own patience as well.

Lauren could feel Tamsin's eyes on her, but she didn't pull her gaze away from the TV. She'd been noticing more of that tonight as well. Tamsin had been looking at her a lot since dinner in a manner that suggested she was about to say something, but she would remain silent. When Lauren encouraged her to get out whatever it was, the other blonde would shake her head and insist she hadn't been about to say anything so Lauren stopped acknowledging the fleeting stares; almost entirely in an effort to keep herself from getting annoyed with her girlfriend. She had, after all, gotten particularly skilled at reflecting Tamsin's own obstinacy back at her out of necessity.

Eventually, Lauren could feel herself fast approaching the point where she was going to demand Tamsin either stop acting so strange or tell her what was going on. Instead, she chose to temporarily remove herself and take a second to regroup and figure out if she wanted to press whatever issue there was, or if she could leave it alone for a little longer. She extracted herself from under Tamsin's arm and stretched languidly for a moment, not surprised when the valkyrie's eyes snapped from glancing at her to fix themselves back to the screen.

"I'm going to get some water," Lauren announced lightly, leaning over slightly to press her lips to Tamsin's cheek before standing up. "You want anything?"

Tamsin shook her head absentmindedly but didn't look at her. "Want me to pause it?"

"No, I'll be right back." Lauren replied, frowning slightly at Tamsin's voice, which had that 'strained-with-something' quality to it from the beginning of the month.

Lauren procured a bottle of water from the fridge and took a much-needed long drink before weighing her options, concluding that Tamsin's stubborn streak was going to win this round because she needed to figure out what the hell was up with her girlfriend lately. If it was important enough to effect her behavior all month, it was important enough to talk about. Lauren recapped the bottle and made her way back to the living room, surprised that Tamsin had not only paused the movie anyway, but had turned on the little lamp that sat on the side table next to her end of the couch, her body repositioned so that her back was against the armrest and one leg slung over the edge of the couch while the other was tucked under her. She looked openly apprehensive which made Lauren nervous as well.

"Are you okay?" Lauren asked cautiously as she set her bottle down on the coffee table and reclaimed her spot on the couch, mirroring Tamsin's position.

Tamsin nodded and raked the fingers of her right hand through her hair as if the action was going to help her talk but she remained silent, watching the fingers of her left hand twitch rhythmically against her thigh.

"Talk to me, Tamsin." Lauren implored softly when she still didn't speak, stopping the valkyrie's anxious movements by holding her hands.

Tamsin took a deep breath and held it for a second before expelling the air noisily. "I've pretty much always been on my own." She said at last, apparently surprised that that's what came out of her mouth but she found some kind of encouragement in Lauren's gaze when she finally met it. "Even when I was with other valkyrie, I didn't fit in. I didn't _want _to fit in. I didn't give a shit. I never felt comfortable anywhere so I'd stick around only until a place lost its job offers or its ability to keep me entertained and I liked it that way. At least, I _thought_ I liked it that way. And then I get sent here and you guys…" she shook her head, an expression of fond annoyance on her face. "You assholes make me do something I hadn't in _centuries—_give a shit. God, getting sucked into the orbit of planet Bo was pretty much the best thing that happened to me." She paused and tilted her head to one side. "Don't tell her that. She doesn't need the ego boost."

"I promise to only use it for really important blackmail purposes." Lauren swore with a smile and a nod.

"I can't _wait_." Tamsin snorted. She was silent for a moment, collecting her thoughts. "So one day I suddenly found myself with the thought that I'd hate to leave this place. I'd hate to leave all of you. I'd hate to go back to being alone because I knew what family was like now. _Real_ family. And it's great, right? It couldn't get any better, but then it did." Tamsin squeezed Lauren's hands to indicate exactly what she meant by that. "It really did. Fuck, doc, I didn't even know a person could _be_ this satisfied with their life. I sure as hell wouldn't have ever thought I would be even if I _had_ known. And maybe it couldn't get any better…but what if it could?"

"Get better?" Lauren asked. "And how do you propose that?" she added in a tone full of playful promise when the other blonde nodded at her first question.

Lauren had never seen anyone manage a grin as wide as the one on Tamsin's face that still gave off an unquestionable air of timidity, but there it was. "Funny you should say that." She said, freeing her hands from Lauren's and pulling a squarish velvet box from the right pocket of her jeans.

Every molecule of air left Lauren's body all at once. She wasn't sure how; she hadn't exhaled at all, but she was certain there wasn't any oxygen left in her and her eyes were so focused on the little grey box that she didn't even notice the slight tremble in her hand when she unconsciously lifted it to cover her mouth as if trying to preemptively smother any noise. Some dim part of her mind that managed to function even though the rest of her brain had gone totally blank was trying to get her to not jump to conclusions, trying to convince her she could be misreading the situation. When they spoke about their futures—to anyone, not just each other—it was always understood that they were going to be together, but they had never once talked about marriage. It hadn't really seemed like something Tamsin was into and Lauren never brought it up as she had thought she didn't care either way as long as they were together, but apparently when the possibility was manifesting right in front of her, that impartial attitude gleefully deserted her.

Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion as she watched Tamsin open the little box. Lauren was unsure when she'd started breathing again, but her breath hitched as she looked at the ring displayed inside. The unfussiness of the rose gold band and the three small purple sapphires inlaid in the centre were offset by intricate white gold filigree going around the ring. The whole effect was rather understated unless you were examining it closely and Lauren thought it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen.

"I know we never talked about it—for ourselves," Tamsin started again. "But… I love you more than anything and I wanna marry you, Lauren. You don't even have to answer right now if,"

"Yes," Lauren blurted before Tamsin could finish, practically pouncing across the short distance between them to plant herself in the taller woman's lap and deliver a fervent kiss, hands gripping the back of the other blonde's head though she had to do no prompting to urge her forward. Lauren pulled back panting a few minutes later, nipping Tamsin's lower lip gently as she leaned back, the fingers of one hand twisting through the hair at the back of the valkyrie's head while she spread out the other so the ring could be placed on it.

Tamsin was watching Lauren intently, which the doctor took almost no notice of as her gaze was firmly fixed to the jewelry now fitted perfectly around her finger. "Looks good on you, doc." She said with a puckish grin, breaking the silence and drawing Lauren's eyes upwards again.

"How long have you been planning this?" she asked with a matching smile. "Is this why you've been acting weird all month?"

Tamsin nodded, exhaling a sort of relieved chuckle and shrugged. "It was kinda spontaneous." She admitted, sliding her hands behind Lauren's back just as much to stabilize her as to keep her in her spot and shifting her own position so both her feet were on the floor. "You remember when Bo dragged us all to practically every damn fête and house party during Caribana?"

"Mmm," Lauren confirmed even though she knew the question had been rhetorical. "Despite Kenzi's best efforts to keep anyone from remembering anything." She'd had such a fabulous time that the two-day hangover when they'd finally called it quits had almost been worth it. Almost.

"I don't know what happened specifically, but some time around then, I just _knew_. It was like…" she tilted her head slightly and her gaze unfocused as she was trying to figure out how to express the unexplainable. Lauren nodded understandingly, knowing that the feeling was a difficult one to articulate and Tamsin smiled gratefully before continuing. "So I told Kenzi and after she got done perforating my eardrums screaming her goddamn head off, I made her swear not to tell Bo." She didn't need the questioning look on her fiancées face to prompt her to elaborate. "I wanted to wait until your birthday to ask and it'd already passed by then so I'd have to wait almost a year and Bo can barely keep a secret from you to save her own life. Literally.

When me and Kenzi went Christmas shopping, we went into the jewelers…just to look, I hadn't gone in there planning on getting anything but," she removed a hand from Lauren's back and entwined it with the doctor's ringed hand, a pleased smirk on her face. "I saw this and knew that was it. The plan was to just keep it until your birthday, right? But once I picked it up after it'd been resized, it—_this—_was all I could think about. I knew I couldn't sit on it until next summer but I also wanted to have something _good_ to say, yanno? So I've been carrying this fuckin thing around in my pocket pretty much every day for the last week, just in case."

Lauren laughed and kissed Tamsin softly. "What made you pick," she glanced over her shoulder at the display on the cable box. "Ten to midnight on Christmas Eve?"

"I could tell I was driving you crazy." The valkyrie responded with a grin. "Plus, I figured if there _was_ a chance you were gonna say no it'd be much lower on Christmas, so I winged it."

Lauren shook her head; leave it to Tamsin to call everyone an asshole and include the word 'fuck' in a heartfelt marriage proposal. She had to admit though, she was thoroughly charmed and she cupped her hands against Tamsin's cheeks to pull her lips towards her again, not interested in any more conversation. Her hands tangled in and tugged at Tamsin's hair as the taller woman deepened the kiss while lowering her along the length of the couch. Lauren was so consumed by the haze of desire that was thrumming through every nerve that she was only vaguely aware of feeling the remote digging into her back or that she'd managed to hit the button to play the movie—George Bailey's excited shouting not even registering at all.

"_Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you old wonderful Building and Loan!"_


	4. Chapter 4

Lauren hummed absentmindedly as she moved around the living room stacking the last of the empty paper plates and plastic cups into a neat pile on the coffee table. She figured she had about four more minutes before Tamsin returned from depositing an armful of bottles into the liquor cabinet in the dining room. Three minutes to actually replace the bottles amongst their comrades according to colour, taste, and potency; and an additional minute the valkyrie would spend taking swigs directly from one of the bottles before putting it back. That gave her just enough time to round up the remainder of the trash left from the Christmas party, _maybe_ sneak it as far as the dining room table, and then sit back on the couch like she had no idea how it'd gotten collected so neatly. She was facing the mantelpiece, swaying almost unconsciously and concentrating on transferring the contents of the mostly empty cups lining the ledge into one cup when she jumped at the unexpected—but not unwelcome—feeling of arms snaking around her waist from behind.

"How many times," Tamsin asked, sounding only mildly—but very sincerely—annoyed. "Do I have to tell you to _sit down_?" She kissed the side of Lauren's neck and pressed herself gently into her wife's back, resting her hands on the front of the shorter blonde's stomach and following her swaying movements.

"Tonight?" Lauren returned, glancing over her shoulder with a smile but not stopping her tidying efforts. "Or in general?"

"_Go._ _Sit_." Tamsin demanded, stepping backwards and tugging the other woman with her a little. "Before I tie your ass to a chair."

"Mmm, resorting to idle threats now?"

"Idle?" she sounded amused. "Never."

"Don't make promises you don't intend to keep." Lauren chided lightly, but set the two cups in her hands back on the mantel ledge and rested her hands over the ones on her stomach, leaning comfortably into the other woman.

"When," Tamsin started, her voice a low purr right next to Lauren's ear, making her shiver. "Have I _ever_ made a promise I didn't intend on keeping?" she tugged quickly on the doctor's earlobe with her teeth before turning her around and nudging her towards the couch. "_Siddown_."

"Don't tease me," Lauren cautioned as she stretched herself out on her side and propped her head up with her left hand, her right hand automatically coming to rest on her swollen abdomen. "I'm hormonal."

Tamsin raised an incredulous eyebrow at the human and cocked her hip to one side, resting a hand against it. "Who's teasing?" she grinned impishly and turned back to the mantelpiece to grab the cups that Lauren had been cleaning up. "C'mon, you know me better than that, doc."

Lauren laughed and rolled her eyes, watching her wife gather the garbage and strut out of living room towards the kitchen that was just beyond the dining room. She sighed slightly and reached blindly behind her for the journal she knew was sitting on the end table on the other side of the armrest. Lauren splayed the leather bound book open with her fingers and noted—not for the first time—that this would be much more comfortable if she could just lie on her back for extended periods but now, fast approaching her third trimester, all that did now was make her dizzy.

After an eight-month engagement, they'd gotten married and barely three months into it, they'd come to a consensus on the reality of children; though quite by accident. Bo, who still insisted on running her semi-legal detective agency (and really, no one would have it any other way), had managed to net a "doorstep baby" case: the doorstep in question being hers. Luckily Bo had just been returning home from a lunch date and had seen someone running away from a large box in front of her door. While she'd given chase, she lost them partway down the block and had returned to her front door only to find a bored looking infant nestled snugly among some blankets with the vaguest of notes tucked in an envelope in the corner.

When Lauren had gotten home that afternoon after a short shift, she'd been surprised to see Tamsin's truck in its customary spot on the curb in front of their house. She'd been even more surprised when she'd stepped through the front door and was greeted with the sight of her wife gently bouncing a fussy baby boy in her arms while pacing back and forth. Tamsin had explained that she'd gotten a call from Bo detailing what had led up to discovering the deserted baby and the succubus had asked her as a favor to find someplace to keep the chubby infant temporarily. There had been unanimity about not wanting to go through the proper legal channels for dealing with an abandoned child. It was clear whoever had left him, had sought Bo's residence specifically so there was no way it wasn't fae related and since the circumstances had understandably touched a nerve in Bo, she was determined to see it through to its conclusion.

While the clubhouse had long since been renovated to the point of architectural redemption, Bo and Kenzi were concentrating on working the case with their full attentions and wouldn't have been able to take care of him. Tamsin had scoffed at the idea of leaving a baby with _Dyson_ (who, when asked about it later, affirmed he had been nothing short of amazing with the baby but Tamsin had become delightfully custodial about him), which left the valkyrie to take the infant home and hope Lauren wouldn't be _too_ put out about not being consulted about the idea.

Fortunately (and quite predictably), Lauren was more than amenable. Not that she had much hesitation about the idea of looking after an assumed orphan for a while, but any she'd felt disappeared immediately when Tamsin had deposited him in her arms to give her own a rest.

The case—while a bit lengthy—had wrapped up rather tidily. The baby Lauren had estimated to be around six or seven months and whom they'd all been calling "Ethan" had turned out to be a seven month old named Marco. His biological parents were both Light Fae, though not together, and his mother had recently taken up with a Dark Fae lover. Baby Marco's father had been incensed and demanded disciplinary action but the Light leaders had dismissed him, reminding him that since the new alliance, Dark-Light relationships weren't forbidden.

He'd then gone to the Twilight Council—which served as a representative tribunal for all fae—in the hopes of playing to old animosities, but they too, had brushed him off. Marco's father hadn't been too thrilled and had apparently decided that sending a hit squad after his ex was the most sensible way of expressing his displeasure, causing her to leave her son at Bo's door both for his own safety and as a covert plea for help.

Marco's mother had been understandably elated to have her son back after a nearly three week separation and when Lauren and Tamsin gone back to their pre-Doorstep Baby life, it had been almost strange. They'd readjusted rather quickly but the idea of kids had been planted in a more concrete way. Though it had never been any secret that Lauren wanted children some day, it had actually been Tamsin who had brought up the idea seriously a little over three months after they'd reunited Marco with his mother. Lauren had been casually looking into the idea for quite some time beforehand as it had been interesting from a scientific standpoint that there were more than a few species of fae able to procreate via parents of the same sex but it had still taken a lot of intensive research and long hours before perfecting a treatment that would work for them.

There had never been a question about who was going to carry their progeny, not between the two of them, anyway. Kenzi had brought it up sincerely exactly once and the face Tamsin had made in response was evidently so hysterical that the lithe Russian kept suggesting the idea right up until Lauren had been confirmed pregnant that summer. Lauren, ever the scientist, had been keeping detailed observations and personal notes about the entire process and now just over five months past the point of conception, she had accumulated a small, but admirable mass of notebooks that would be copied and stored in the joint archives.

She hadn't been, and still wasn't, exactly sure what to expect about this process on multiple levels. Of course she had a logistical, medical understanding of pregnancy and development, but _she'd_ never been pregnant before and certainly not with a child that would be literally impossible in the human world. Technically, the restless girl that was growing inside her hadn't been possible in the fae world either—not between a human and a fae at any rate—but Lauren had proven herself nothing over the years if not extremely resourceful and twice as determined. It wasn't the first (or even sixth) time she'd done something that had previously been assumed unachievable. The treatments she'd designed and had been administered to her to facilitate and maintain the whole process made sure her child was fae, but had also had the curious, unintended, unanticipated effect of slowing her cellular deterioration at a rate that was slightly more in line with the low end of fae biology than with human.

While she most definitely wasn't fae (and had absolutely no desire to be), it had been an unexpected comfort when the realization hit Lauren that her biology wasn't going to damn her to succumbing to the inherent, uniquely human ravages and hazards of old age nearly as early as she'd thought. She knew Tamsin had been relieved over the information as well even though she'd never explicitly said so. The length of time Lauren and Kenzi had comparatively to the rest of their family was understood as a taboo subject and rarely ever mentioned though the two humans in question spoke of it between themselves often enough.

"You got water in there, doc?" Tamsin's voice shouted from the kitchen, breaking her concentration.

"Yeah!" Lauren called back automatically without looking away from her notes to check. She was fairly certain she didn't, but Tamsin had been cultivating the habit of reading pretty much everything relating to human pregnancies (and some stuff that didn't) before taking any important tidbits gleaned to an overstressed conclusion. Even worse, she usually—even if unintentionally—managed to get Bo and Kenzi to pester her as well. Owing to a (_slight_, if you asked Lauren) problem she'd had, Tamsin's theme of choice for the last month had been hydration. Between Tamsin, Bo, Kenzi, and even Dyson a few times over just the course of the Christmas party, Lauren was fairly certain she should be concerned about the probability of her daughter being born with gills.

"You're so full of shit." The valkyrie smirked knowingly, coming back into the living room with a bottle of water and handing it to her wife.

"What can I say?" Lauren started, shifting her position to take the bottle and so Tamsin could sit down, dropping her legs promptly into the other blonde's lap when she did. "You've been nothing but a terrible influence, so really you only have yourself to blame."

Tamsin snorted and rolled her eyes, laying a gentle hand on Lauren's stomach. "You _hear_ this shit, Chuck?" she asked in a soft coo, leaning over slightly. "You hear what I gotta put up with?"

Lauren chuckled and lightly knocked Tamsin's hand away. "I told you not to talk to her like that." She scolded playfully. "She can hear you now."

"_Please_, doc; don't be such a hypocrite." The Dark Fae shot back with a grin and attempted to replace her hand, gripping Lauren's wrist nonchalantly when she tried to swat it away again. "Judging just from last night, if her first word isn't 'fuck' you can color me shocked."

Lauren scoffed derisively but couldn't hide the vainglorious smile on her face as she let her journal fall to the floor and reached out with her now free hand to teasingly smack her wife in the arm but Tamsin caught that too and pulled the human up compliantly to press their lips together. "Why do I put up with you?" Lauren murmured against the valkyrie's lips as they pulled apart and she laid back against the armrest.

"Because I'm super hot," Tamsin asserted confidently, shifting so that her head rested lightly on Lauren's abdomen and the rest of her body was draped casually over her wife's legs with her own half dangling off the side of the couch. "And charming as fuck."

"Don't be so modest," Lauren said with concern, trying to keep the laugh out of her voice while freeing the Dark Fae's hair from its elegant bun to card her fingers through it. "I really worry about your self-esteem."

"Hey, you better watch your," Tamsin started before cutting herself off and lifting her head slightly to look at the other blonde, moving the hand that wasn't trapped under her own weight to rest where her head had been. "She's kicking."

Lauren smiled indulgently but genuinely at her wife. It amused her to no end that Tamsin felt the urge to announce whenever she felt Charlotte moving because of _course_ she knew; but the earnestness in the valkyrie's eyes and the delighted awe in her voice was more than enough reason to not be bothered by continuous broadcastings of the obvious.

"I'm glad _you_ seem to enjoy it, at least." Lauren responded with a smile, pulling her fingers out of deceptively soft hair to trail them along the side of her wife's face.

"You ready to not be pregnant already?" Tamsin smirked, sticking her tongue out briefly to catch Lauren's thumb as it traced along her lower lip.

"I won't miss the insomnia or the mood swings, if that's what you're asking."

Tamsin snorted and nodded before putting her head back down. "I'm kinda just ready for her to _be here_, yanno?"

Lauren hummed her agreement, combing her fingers through the valkyrie's hair again and they fell silent for a few contemplative moments before Tamsin spoke up.

"Cause I love you," she said lightly, a smile in her voice. "But I'm tired of being the only person in this house who untangles those goddamn lights every year."


	5. Chapter 5

Lauren was pulled from the depths of a dreamless sleep abruptly, her limbs heavy and uncooperative. Disoriented from sudden consciousness, her eyes fluttered while she tried to figure out what had woken her. Her barely formulated question was answered when she registered the murmuring of her wife—who was sprawled half on top of her—lowly mumbling in a hardly coherent sleep-slur about the heat.

"S'fuggin _hot_." Tamsin groaned loudly, still asleep and rolled violently onto her back with a grunt.

Lauren smiled slightly and pulled the comforter off the valkyrie, groggily shifting so that she was on her side. It absolutely wasn't hot. It had been literally freezing most of the day and even colder by the time they had finally dragged themselves to bed (likely colder still by the time they actually fell asleep). But whenever Tamsin fell asleep; her body temperature went to feverish levels, resulting in much of her chronic somniloquy—when it could be understood—being comprised of complaints about the heat, regardless of what time of year it was.

Tamsin whined again, this time sounding far more troubled and panicked than uncomfortable. Lauren slipped her arm around the other woman's waist and gently kissed the side of her head, the gestures so automatic as to be nearly instinctual and she settled down with a heavy sigh. Lauren's eyes decided that they'd had enough of the deep darkness of the room and slipped closed. She was absolutely drained, there was no doubt about the reality of her sleepiness, but while her body was mostly asleep, her mind refused to send her back to slumber though she was certain she was nearing the end of the so-called 'peaceful hours' of the night.

They day itself had been long and exhausting. Their daughter, now seven, treated every Christmas Eve like most children treated Christmas Day and most of December 24th was spent trying to wear the hyperactive little valkyrie out enough to be in bed at least an hour after her normal bedtime. The day had been packed with activities designed to make sure that once Charlotte lay down, she would _stay_ down. They'd learnt through experience that she would make any and every excuse to come out of her room once put to bed on Christmas Eve, trying to catch glimpses of any last minute gift wrapping going on.

The day had culminated in a rather lengthy dinner at the Dal; a tradition that, a year after Charlotte had been born, had become as expected as their December 15th parties. The whole makeshift family would gather at the pub once it closed and the last of the customers were cleared out to share a meal and each other's company. Although the nefarious parental tactics employed to fatigue Charlotte hadn't seemed to work that year, she'd passed right out not twenty minutes into _It's A Wonderful Life_.

Tamsin had gladly escaped the movie briefly to carry their sleeping daughter to her room and both of them would have liked for that to be the end of it; but one of the things they'd learnt about having a child was that every year, the stuff she wanted got more and more unnecessarily complex. This year, all Charlotte cared about was fancy formal wear (but only if it was purple) and an incredibly loud cartoon that had a cast of robot monster characters and was approximately sixty percent space battles. Despite the fact that the show was turned on without fail every Saturday morning, if Lauren had had a gun to her head and was told the only way to spare her own life was to recall the names of just four of the robot monsters and the basic premise of the show, her only option would have been to make peace with her Maker and ask for time to say goodbye.

Luckily, Tamsin was usually parked on the couch next to Charlotte on Saturday mornings, genuinely as engrossed. So she'd taken it upon herself to try and explain to Lauren what was what while they spent most of the night putting together everything that needed to be constructed. They'd had enough practice with Christmases where Lauren thought it reasonable to assume that a valkyrie with over a millennia of life experience and knowledge—and a polymath PhD holder could effortlessly put together a bunch of _children's_ toys but as it turned out, that was a rather overambitious assumption.

Shortly after one in the morning, when the last plasma cannon (which Lauren had explained at length was impractically designed) was snapped into place on the back of the last cybernetic space dragon, the two women had trudged gratefully up to their own room with the full intention of going to sleep. Which would have worked out great if their brief goodnight kiss hadn't turned into anything but brief or just a kiss. Once Lauren had managed to coerce Tamsin (who was predictably sullen at the idea) into some pyjamas, they'd succumbed to sleep almost immediately.

Lauren didn't know how long she'd been asleep; it couldn't have been long, but clearly long enough that it almost wasn't worth trying to go back to sleep at this point. Although her eyes were closed, and she was more than comfortable; and Tamsin's deep, even breathing had a pleasing ataractic effect on her, Lauren could hear Charlotte quietly pacing outside their door; or attempting to be quiet, anyway. She was shuffling her bare feet across the carpet in the hall instead of picking them up and every so often there would come a long suffering sigh or the sound of the seven year old dramatically slumping against the wall across from their door and sliding down to the floor.

The only thing that could mean was that it was nearly five. The year before last, they'd imposed an unwavering ban on being disturbed before 5AM Christmas Day unless there was an emergency. That had been a rule made necessary through experience. While Charlotte was a biological outlier for a valkyrie, she _was_ still a valkyrie so she naturally slept less than would be expected of a human child her age. Coupled with the anticipatory excitation of tearing wrapping paper to shreds, it was a small wonder she'd even slept at all.

Lauren pulled Tamsin closer to her and placed a gentle kiss on the skin of shoulder that was exposed by her tank top. "Hey," she murmured near the valkyrie's ear and opening her eyes again. Tamsin let out a soft grunt but didn't open her eyes and Lauren kissed her shoulder again. "She's up."

"_No_," Tamsin mumbled, her voice cracked under the weight of sleep. "She is _not_ up."

Lauren shook her head and moved it to rest the other woman's shoulder. "Our daughter." She clarified. "She's wearing down the floor in the hallway."

"_You_ pushed her out." The Dark Fae grumbled. "She's _your_ kid until I'm actually awake."

Lauren chuckled and shrugged with the shoulder she wasn't laying on. "I'm just giving you fair warning."

"_Thanks_, doc." Tamsin replied. Her tone was annoyed, but she wrapped her arm around the other blonde's shoulder. "I love it when you wake me up to tell me I can sleep a little longer."

Lauren rolled her eyes before closing them again, opening her mouth to offer a final retort which turned into the release of an amused exhale of air when Tamsin cut off whatever she was going to say.

"We got _maybe_ five minutes." She informed Lauren, her voice already fading out as she drifted off again. "So unless you wanna put that mouth to better use, keep it closed."

"Love you too."

"Shut up."

This time Lauren did let out a quiet laugh and while she attempted to stay awake, knowing that it would be better in the long run, she was out less than a minute later. Eventually, while she was mentally wandering the borderlands between where she was able to comprehend external sound for what it was and being dead to the world, she heard the knob to the bedroom turn and the hollow door bump loudly against the adjoining wall.

"_Wake up_!" Charlotte's voice singsonged loudly and entirely too eagerly given the hour. Lauren barely had time to force her eyes open and blearily sit up when Charlotte sprinted harefootedly across the room; throwing every ounce of her imponderous weight onto the bed. "Maman!" she huffed breathlessly at Lauren, climbing into her lap and taking hold of her shoulders. "Are you awake?!"

Lauren interrupted the yawn that had started by smiling, smoothing her hand down Charlotte's slightly mussed hair and humming her uh-huh. "Merry Christmas, sweetie." She said fondly, kissing the girl's forehead.

Charlotte sheepishly mumbled a 'Merry Christmas,' having forgotten niceties in the face of the presents waiting downstairs that she had spent the better part of her waking hours so far staring at longingly. To make up for her minor transgression, she threw her arms around her mother's neck and pressed her own kiss to her forehead before tossing herself forcefully away from Lauren and directly onto Tamsin in a move that was strikingly similar to the elder valkyrie's hurried sleep-movement from earlier.

Tamsin, who hadn't moved or opened her eyes at all, grunted at the unanticipated weight but gave no indication as to whether or not she was asleep. Charlotte frowned and sat up on her mother's stomach, leaning over far enough that their noses were practically touching. The tiny blonde was so focused on watching to see if Tamsin's eyes were moving (she'd engaged Lauren in a conversation about REM cycles several weeks earlier), that she completely missed her lips twitching upward in a barely there gesture as she suppressed a smile.

"Mor?" Charlotte pronounced slowly in a stage whisper. She waited a few seconds and when there was no answer, shook Tamsin's shoulders—which was slightly ineffectual given her size—and raised her voice to normal volume. "Mamma, wake up."

"Wha'for?" the Dark Fae mumbled, flinging an arm across her eyes. Her slumberous tone was almost entirely feigned and Lauren bit her bottom lip to keep from laughing at Charlotte's exasperated eye roll. Every annoyed expression she had had come directly from her fae mother.

"_Because_," she drawled, leaning back. "It's _Christmas_ and I waited until five-_thirty_."

Tamsin opened one eye while seeming to squint the other closed more tightly and peered up from under her forearm. "Oh, it's _Christmas_?" she repeated obliviously, copying Charlotte's head movements when she nodded encouragingly. "Well…" she trailed off thoughtfully and appeared to be pondering her next words. Her pause was short, but apparently long enough for Charlotte to lean forward again. The younger valkyrie squealed loudly in surprise as Tamsin bolted upright and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her close as she dissolved into a fit of delighted giggles.

"I guess we'd better go downstairs, huh?" Tamsin asked, her tone almost as excited as Charlotte's had been when she'd first burst into their room. She gave her daughter an exaggeratedly loud kiss on the cheek and slid her legs over the side of the bed to stand up, adjusting her hold on Charlotte instead of putting her down and swinging her around so the little blonde was snug against her back in the piggyback position.

Lauren shook her head and laughed, getting out of bed herself and following her wife who was purposely bouncing Charlotte somewhat roughly against her back while they both belted the chorus to _Musevisa _concerned only with volume rather than tone.

Several hours later found Lauren inattentively humming snippets of Christmas carols while considering the contents of her half of the small walk in closet. If it were up to her, she'd have stayed in her pyjamas for at least another hour or two, but the rest of their family were due over relatively soon. Tamsin and Lauren were usually exempt from hosting the early dinner Christmas Day because of the annual party earlier in the month and it was supposed to be Bo's turn this year anyway. Fortunately or unfortunately, Bo's girlfriend Makeda—who was extremely gifted in both interior design and persuasion—had finally worn the succubus down about remodeling and their living room had been a veritable minefield for weeks so the clubhouse was out.

Dyson had taken off to some super secret bicentennial "Wolf Spirit celebration-thing" this year (and though he'd said he couldn't divulge details, Tamsin insisted she'd accidentally stumbled across one a long time ago and it was more or less a shapeshifter bacchanal popularly held approximately two-hundred kilometers past the middle of nowhere), and Kenzi and Hale had only just gotten back from Spain two days previous. That left the Malikov-Lewis household to serve as assembly hall.

"You're staring." Lauren said, tugging on the sleeve of a blouse to look at it. She had seen Tamsin appear out of her peripheral vision, leaning against the doorjamb with her arms crossed.

"Yup." Tamsin confirmed unapologetically, pushing herself off the frame and reaching past her wife to pluck a cowl necked shirt from in front of her, handing it over. "This one." She advised confidently, responding to the curiosity on Lauren's face before she could verbalize it when she turned to face her. "Chuck put on that ridiculous frilly purple dress right after you came up—I'm pretty sure we're gonna have to fight her to get her to wear anything else from now on, by the way—and she's hell bent on _someone_ in this house matching and I haven't owned anything purple since," she tilted her head to one side and wrinkled her nose, "Spanish farthingales were the height of modern fashion; _ergo_," she made a sweeping gesture with one arm. "The honour falls to you." Tamsin grinned and backed Lauren into the short dresser against the back wall, trapping her by gripping the edges of its glossy wooden surface on either side of her. "Plus," she added, speaking almost directly against the shorter blonde's mouth. "You look pretty hot in that."

Lauren laughed breathily but was cut off by Tamsin kissing her, deepening it without preamble. Lauren let her shirt slip out of her hand and gave herself over to the sensation right up until the valkyrie unceremoniously gripped her around the middle and lifted her onto the top of the waist-high dresser, moving her mouth to the doctor's neck, at which point she gently rested one hand against Tamsin's shoulder but didn't push her away.

"Where's Charlotte?" she managed, tilting her head to one side and swallowing a soft groan when Tamsin raked the fingernails of one hand under her shirt almost gently down her back.

"Downstairs." Tamsin replied in a tone that read more as '_stop talking_.'

Lauren nodded dumbly for a second, distracted by the tongue running up the side of her neck. Trying to clear the fog that had settled over her, she shook her head a few times and used the hand she had on Tamsin's shoulder to push her away; negating the intent of the action by wrapping her legs around the taller woman's waist. "Downstairs?" she repeated, her own tone conveying clearly that one of them should be downstairs too.

Tamsin rolled her eyes and tugged on the ends of Lauren's hair. "Chill out, doc." She said lightly. "She's down there smashing robots together with Aleksey or trying to make him a vassal or a knight or some shit."

"Hale and Kenzi are here? They're early."

Tamsin nodded with a hum and resumed trailing a series of short kisses from her wife's shoulder to her jaw. "They're in the kitchen getting ready." She pulled back slightly to amend herself. "_Hale_ is getting ready. Kenzi's supervising."

"Is that what she's calling it now?" Lauren laughed, cupping Tamsin's face and guiding their lips together again. "Did you close the door?"

"Yep." Tamsin lied, running her tongue along Lauren's lower lip.

Lauren returned the kiss with fervor but it didn't stop her from unhooking her legs from around the valkyrie's waist and continuously redirecting Tamsin's wandering hands, knowing that she hadn't shut the bedroom door and Charlotte was free to come in and out of anywhere in the house as long as the door was open.

A disgusted chorus of "_Gross_," caused them to pull apart a few minutes later, laughing. Charlotte had her hip cocked to one side with her hand on it and an offended countenance. Despite having Lauren's expressive brown eyes and angled jaw, she looked every bit like her other mother and might have even cut an intimidating figure if she wasn't four feet tall, wiry, and wearing a froufrou princess dress. Next to her at six inches shorter and a year younger was Aleksey Santiago, his dark well-groomed hair falling in a seemingly haphazard halo of corkscrew curls around his head, his mother's eyes mirroring Charlotte's grossed out expression.

Lauren, who had slipped off the top of the dresser the moment Tamsin had stepped away from her, picked up her blouse and exited the closet, scooping the little boy up on her way past him and pressing a kiss to his dusky cheek. "Merry Christmas, Alyoshka." She greeted, setting the now giggling boy down again.

"Whaddayou little urchins want?" Tamsin asked brightly, dropping onto her side at the end of the bed and looking expectantly at the children as Lauren rummaged around for some satisfactory pants to accompany her shirt.

"Oh yeah!" Charlotte said brightly, nodding enthusiastically when Lauren held up the shirt she was going to wear for her approval. "Uncle Puppy called," Tamsin's shoulders shook with silent laughter at the nickname she may or my not have encouraged her daughter to call Dyson. "He said that the…." The tiny valkyrie squinted at her 'cousin' trying to remember the message.

"Asception?" Aleksey tried helpfully.

"Reception!" Charlotte corrected, nodding her thanks vigorously. "He said that the reception was really bad so he'll call again tomorrow, but it wasn't anything bad. He just wanted me to tell you Merry Christmas."

"Auntie Mak is here." Aleksey added.

Tamsin perked up and propped her head up with one hand. "Did she bring tsebhi?"

"The lamb kind." Charlotte confirmed. "She just came to drop it off and help Uncle Hale for a while but then she's gonna go and come back."

"Where's your bestest buddy?" the Dark Fae asked, referring to Bo. Charlotte was utterly enamored with the succubus and it was as agitating as it was adorable.

Charlotte shrugged helplessly. "Auntie Mak said she was gonna let her sleep, but she's gonna go get her soon." She tilted her head to the side to remember the rest of the story. "And she said to tell you if she's not here when you come down to '_stay outta the damn pot on the stove_'"

"_Charlotte Freyja Lewis._" Lauren reprimanded sharply, glaring at Tamsin who wasn't even trying to contain her laughter.

"That's what she _said_, mommy!" the little valkyrie whined.

"That doesn't mean you need to repeat it word for word, does it?"

"No, maman." Charlotte agreed guiltily, but when Lauren turned around, she shared a conspiratory snicker with her cousin.

"Zat it?" Tamsin prompted, deciding not to say anything about the sly smiles on the kids' faces.

"Yup!" Charlotte confirmed, tugging on Aleksey's arm and backing them out of the room. "When're you coming down? You can help me mush the potatoes."

Tamsin looked to where Lauren was pulling a shirt from the valkyrie's drawer in the dresser across from the bed before turning her attention back to her daughter and nephew (brother? God, this family was so weird) with a smile. "Twenty minutes." She promised, getting up and following the children to the door so she could close it. Once the door was shut, she flopped onto her back on the bed and closed her eyes, only opening them when she was struck in the chest with a wad of clothes.

"Think I can't dress myself anymore?" Tamsin asked, faking an affronted tone and tossing the clothes gently off to the side. She smirked when instead of answering; Lauren climbed onto the bed and straddled the valkyrie's waist, leaning down to kiss her soundly.

"I'm just saving time." Lauren reasoned, gripping Tamsin's wrists and pinning her hands to the space on the mattress above her head. "You know," she continued diplomatically, ignoring her wife's frustrated huffs as she halfheartedly struggled against her. "Speaking of saving time," she kissed Tamsin again, rocking herself against the woman underneath her until the valkyrie let out a moan—that was an entirely different kind of frustrated—and broke the kiss to get off the bed, starting towards the en suite. "One shower is much shorter than two."

The concupiscent daze that settled over Tamsin only lifted enough to regain the use of her faculties when she heard the shower being turned on and she quickly fumbled out of bed with a wicked grin, mumbling "Merry Christmas to me" before stepping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.


End file.
