Castle 1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is set in series 3 after Castle has broken up with Gina after Knockdown. My first attempt at fan fiction, so any suggestions that people have would be useful. Also how does one even get beta readers?**

**Disclaimer: I would need a lot more money than I have, if I was to ever have any chance of owning Castle.**

Chapter 1

Beckett glanced up from the paperwork on her desk as Castle deposited a cup of coffee and a bear-claw in front of her.

"Thanks Castle," she said, picking up the coffee and bringing it up to her mouth to inhale the heavenly aroma.

"You're welcome Beckett," he replied and then he noticed the odd grimace that came over her face. "Hey, are you ok?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.

There was a pause as she put down the coffee and closed her eyes briefly before replying. "Yeah, I'm fine, just thought that I smelled something off for a second there." She shook her head quickly as if to snap out of the odd sensation.

He thought about questioning her further but it was obvious that she didn't want to talk about it so instead he fell back into their pattern of flirting. "Well I have been known to make women swoon with my manly presence but this is the first time that a woman has tried to pass it off as a bad smell. Are you sure that you aren't feeling faint from my pheromones?"

He paused, anticipating her reaction and true to form she gave him the patented Beckett eye-roll. "It's the overwhelming testosterone isn't it?" he said, as his lips lifted up in that cocky grin that he had perfected over the years.

"Castle, I don't know how you can even claim to have to testosterone given the fact that you are so metrosexual. You have never even played little league," Beckett shot back at him, putting him in his place.

"Well I would be more than happy to demonstrate to you that I am definitely a man, anytime you'd like Detective, anytime at all," he continued grinning at her.

"When hell freezes over," she said as she pushed her chair away from the desk and stood up. "Enough with the banter, we need to go and interview the building super, see if he can shed any light on what our victim was doing in the maintenance room in the basement."

"Hey Beckett, you forgot your coffee," he called out to her as she made her way over to the elevator.

She glanced back briefly at the cup on her desk, "Nah, I just don't feel like it at the moment. Hurry up will you Castle?'

He thought it was odd but with a mental shrug he dismissed it and hustled to catch up with her.

Unfortunately the building super, Harry Denvers, proved to be very vague. A nice man in his late seventies, he was trying to be helpful but this consisted of a lot of vague, contradictory answers.

"So you saw Ms Reynolds arguing with a middle aged white man out the front of the building on Thursday night?" Beckett asked.

"Well he was quite tan so he could have also been Hispanic," he hedged, "it was getting dark and I don't see so well. My grandkids have been on at me to get new glasses recently …"

Before he could continue with another monologue about his family Beckett cut in firmly. "Ok well, thanks for your time Mr Denvers. We need to get back to the station now."

Castle could almost see the frustration coming off her like a shroud of steam rising. She was very driven and she gave 110 percent on every case. It was part of what made her so good at her job but that intensity also meant that she had a tendency to beat herself up mentally when she hit a brick wall. And it was situations like these which made him such a good partner for her. His levity allowed her to take a step back; his pulling on her pig-tails lightened her day.

"I hope that when I am his age I will be tormenting Alexis with my forgetfulness. Oh, that and chasing a harem of old ladies around the retirement village. Do you think that they give like an old-age discount on Viagra?" he asked.

Beckett shook her head at him, trying to hide the little smile that his comments had brought to her face. "Don't you already get a discount on Viagra now?" she quipped.

"You wound me Detective," he said crossing his hands dramatically over his heart. "I will have you know that my body is a temple and I don't like to pollute it with chemicals."

"And I am sure that a lot of women have worshipped at that temple," the words slipped out of her mouth before she had fully processed the thought. Beckett could feel the blush heating her cheeks as she realized what she had said.

"I don't kiss and tell," said Castle. "But I will say that there is always room for one more devoted follower," he teased her. His head whipped around suddenly. "Hey I smell hot dogs, do you feel like a hot dog?" he said as he headed over to the hot-dog vendor that he had spotted.

Those last two sentences characterized him so well she thought, part play-boy, part nine-year old on a sugar rush. She followed him over to the cart thinking that a hot dog didn't sound like a bad idea but then the odor of onions and sausage wafted over her and the nausea she had felt earlier that day returned with a vengeance.

She took a step to the side so that she wasn't standing down wind of the smell and swallowed to force the acid taste in her mouth back down. God, I hope I don't throw up in front of him she thought. Beckett was very independent and being sick was definitely a mortal weakness that she didn't like to show in front of others.

Castle glanced back in time to see a greenish tinge come over her face.

"Beckett, what's wrong?" he asked, his hand coming up to brace her elbow.

"Nothing," she said as she twitched her shoulder to shake his hand off.

He didn't say anything as he stood there contemplating how far he could push her. He was concerned but he knew Beckett well enough to know that she didn't like to be fussed over.

"So you won't pollute the temple with chemicals but you will eat hot dogs?" she said trying to change the subject.

He paused for a second to let her know he wasn't fooled by her not so subtle conversation changer before replying, "I do accept offerings of the good chemicals, you know, junk food, alcohol etc."

"Look we don't really have time for hot dogs, I want to get back to the precinct and see what Ryan and Esposito have managed to get from the phone records," she said as she walked briskly back to the car. She felt like a bitch for not letting him get a hot dog but she really didn't think that she could hold it together if she had to smell it in the confines of the car so she made an excuse to refuse him his treat. Maybe she was coming down with flu she thought, there had been a stomach bug going around recently.

Lost in her own thoughts she had tuned out Castle for a few moments and only caught the last few words that he said as they got into the car.

"…so late," he said.

OMG, she thought, was she late? Frantically she tried to mentally calculate dates. She wasn't very regular but she thought that her last period was about 6 weeks ago. That length of time wasn't completely unheard of for her but it was a bit concerning. With panicked eyes she glanced over at him, did Castle think she was pregnant? "Sorry, what did you say Castle?" she asked.

"I said our vic was meant to be at work at 4 o'clock the next morning so what was she doing out at the supermarket so late," he repeated.

"Hmmm," she mumbled, trying to pretend that she was contemplating what he had said when in reality her mind was in free fall. She wasn't a careless person, far from it and they had used protection every time, but as the saying goes, abstinence is the only 100 percent guaranteed form of contraception.

Yes she did want to be a mother at some stage but an unplanned pregnancy wasn't how she had mapped out her life to be. She knew that she cared for Josh but it would be a major step to start a family together. They just weren't ready for that level of commitment yet.

Beckett came to a decision, there was no point in obsessing about the future until she had at least confirmed whether or not she was pregnant. She'd take the test ASAP and take things from there. She couldn't bear to wait until even after work, she'd just do it in the rest rooms. It made her feel better to at least have a semi-plan in place, first things first.

"I don't want to interrupt any deep thoughts that you were having about the case but didn't you say that you wanted to get back to the station quickly?"

Castle's voice jolted her back to the realization that she had been just sitting there silently for the last couple of minutes without having even started the car.

"Umm, yeah. Look I am feeling a bit off. I think I might be coming down with flu or something," she lied. "Do you mind if we stop at a pharmacy on the way back? I want to pick up some Tylenol."

"Sure," he said. "But if you are sick, don't you think that you'd be better off going home to rest, rather than coming back to work?"

She felt guilty enough lying to him, let alone feeling even worse because of the genuine concern he was displaying.

"No, no, I should be fine if I take some pain-killers," she insisted.

Beckett stood just inside the pharmacy door, glancing nervously out at her car parked across the street where Castle was waiting. Why the hell do they sell pregnancy tests in such big boxes she thought as she contemplated how she was going to sneak the box back un-noticed. But unfortunately there was no way that it looked like a box of Tylenol. Maybe if she took her coat off and draped it over her arm and held the packet under that then Castle might not notice. Yeah that would work she thought.

As casually as she could, she opened the back the back door of the car and carefully placed her coat on the back seat so it covered the white box.

"So have you taken some already?" Castle asked.

"Yeah, it will kick in soon," she replied.

The rest of the trip back was spent in silence. Castle had given her one odd look but then settled back to play with some app on his phone. Neither one of them spoke again until she was pulling up into a space in the underground car parking of the precinct.

As she got out of car, he reached into the back seat to grab her coat for her.

"Don't forget your coat," he said as he passed it across the driver's side seat. The packet fell out of the folds of her coat before her mortified eyes. Maybe he hadn't seen it, she prayed. Maybe the chemist's white paper bag had managed to cover up the incriminating logo. The bright purple _First Response_ pregnancy test signage seemed to be inordinately large and readable to her, but he would have to read it upside down from his point of view so maybe he couldn't see.

One look at his carefully blank face and she knew that all her prayers were for nothing, he definitely knew what was in the bag. Her hand shot out to grab the packet off the seat.

"Thanks," she said, not quite meeting his eyes. And with that she practically ran off to the lift. Not waiting for him to even get out of the car in her haste to get away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: ABC and Andrew Marlowe own Castle, enough said.**

Chapter 2

Castle sat stunned in the car for at least ten minutes before he finally stood up. Kate could be pregnant? He tried to come to terms with the idea. As much as he hated the situation, he knew that she was with motorcycle boy and obviously they were doing more than holding hands.

But somehow in his mind he had always made out their relationship to be a transient thing. What was I thinking, he mocked himself, that one day soon she would wake up, smell the roses and drop kick motorcycle boy out on his ass? That she'd just fall into my arms? That kind of fantasy only happened in romance novels.

Had Kate been trying to get pregnant? Was that how serious her relationship with Josh was? Or was it an unplanned mistake? For one split second Castle hoped for the latter, if only to make himself feel better. If it was unplanned then it would mean that she hadn't been looking at long term with Josh.

Then it hit him how mean spirited that sentiment was. Kate Beckett was his friend, and even if she was never anything more than that, she deserved his unstinting support. And with that in mind he went off in search of her.

* * *

Beckett sat in a stall in the ladies rest room staring at the white plastic test strip. It seemed to take forever as she counted down the minute it took for an answer to show up.

Negative.

An overwhelming relief flooded her, as she leant forward, taking deep gulping breaths. She still felt queasy, but now that she knew it had nothing to do with her being pregnant, that sick feeling in her stomach was bearable.

She suddenly felt quite light headed and she realized it wasn't because she had just narrowly avoided what would have been a major turning point in her life. Actually, now that she thought about it, she did feel quite hot. Maybe it was truly that flu after all.

It was time to head home, between the nausea and the vertigo she knew that she wouldn't be able to contribute anything useful to the investigation.

* * *

After spending a fruitless 5 mins searching for Beckett around the station, Castle spotted Esposito making himself a coffee in the break room.

"Hey Esposito, have you seen Beckett around at all?" he asked.

"Yeah Castle, she was speaking to Captain Montgomery a few minutes ago and then I think she said something about not feeling very well and that she was headed off home."

"Oh, okay," Castle said in a slightly bemused tone. Here he was, ready to be all supportive, best friend/cheerleader/shoulder-to-cry-on all rolled into one, and Beckett had already gone. He wasn't sure quite what to do with himself.

Esposito was looking at him oddly, thinking it was strange that Beckett hadn't told her partner that she was taking off. It was almost like she was trying to avoid Castle. Esposito wondered exactly what had happened between the two of them to make her run away like that.

"Do you and Ryan need a hand with anything then?" Castle offered, finding himself at a loose end.

"Nah, we're good, just finished with the phone records, unfortunately nothing interesting there. So we are going back to canvas her neighbors next, see if any of them noticed anything odd over the last few days," he replied. "Maybe you should go and see how Beckett is, you know take her some soup or something." Esposito knew he was putting the cat amongst the pigeons with that suggestion but he couldn't help himself. He and Lanie had already discussed Beckett and Castle, and their disbelief at how two, otherwise smart, people could be so oblivious or intentionally blind to the mutual attraction between them.

"Umm, I might head home then," Castle said.

Although he hadn't replied to Esposito's last comment, the suggestion did keep playing over in his mind as Castle sat in the cab on the way home. Various scenarios tumbled through his thoughts as he pondered what the best thing to do would be.

Maybe the test was positive and she was so happy she had rushed home to tell Josh the good news? In which case he didn't think that he was a good enough actor to pull off pretending to be ecstatic for her, plus he'd feel like the third wheel if the two of them were celebrating forming their own little family.

Maybe the test was positive and she was upset? Was it really his place to comfort her? After all Josh was her boyfriend, and the father of this potential baby. He was just her friend and pseudo-partner, who she was forced to babysit because of his friendship with the Mayor.

Maybe the test was negative and she was upset because they had been trying for a baby? He wasn't sure how he felt about that, and how are you meant to comfort a woman in that situation. That sort of comfort was probably best left to someone with double X chromosones.

On top of all that, regardless of what the test result was, Castle knew that Beckett was a very private person. She had definitely been embarrassed when he had seen what was in the chemist bag. He had learnt his lesson from the first time he had pushed into her private life, investigating her mother's murder against her expressed wishes. She had frozen him out of her life for ages and it had taken a lot before she had been able to forgive him for that. He certainly didn't want to intrude on her like that again.

In the end he decided that he would give her space but do something to let her know that he was thinking of her. That called for subtlety and that had never really been his strong suit.

* * *

Beckett had fallen into bed almost as soon as she stepped into her apartment and slept the rest of the afternoon away. She woke feeling achy and thirsty. Heading into her kitchen she looked in her sparse pantry and fridge for something light to eat. The nausea had settled somewhat and she was contemplating toast when the buzzer sounded.

"Delivery for Kate Beckett," said a young sounding voice over the intercom.

"I didn't order anything," she said, confused at what the delivery could be.

"The invoice says that it is from a Richard Castle."

"Okay, come on up," she said as she buzzed him into the building. What had Castle sent her, she wondered as she opened the door.

The bunch of bright yellow sunflowers made her smile despite how crap she felt.

"Oh and there is also this," the kid said as he held up a takeaway bag from one of the local diners. "We don't normally deliver food with our flowers but this was an extra special request and he tipped me twenty bucks to do it."

"Thanks," she said, but the kid had already turned around and was headed back out to the lobby as she closed her door.

Placing the flowers in vase, she opened the food container to inhale the comforting aroma of chicken soup. Castle really was sweet sometimes, it was these glimpses of this other side of him over the years that had made her realize that he wasn't just the immature playboy that was portrayed in the gossip sheets.

She fished out the card that was placed in the center of the floral arrangement. It read 'Just to let you know I am thinking of you. I will do anything that you need, including nothing, if that's what you want.'

The words echoed what he had said to her the time they had gone after Dick Coonan, who had been involved her murder. It was his way of being supportive without being pushy. He certainly knew her well. If she had been pregnant and he had coming barging in tonight she might well have shot him as she had been threatening to do for the last few years.

No the flower and soup were just right, supportive without being overbearing. She fished out her phone to send him a quick text.

_Thanks for the gifts, they made me smile. Will call you when I am feeling better._

She sat down at her kitchen table, a bowl of soup in front of her and a gentle smile on her face. Castle really was sweet sometimes….

* * *

Castle hadn't heard from her for the last 2 days, not since she had sent him that text and it was driving him crazy. He still didn't know if she was pregnant or not, or how she felt about it. But he was trying to respect her privacy so he had spent the time working on his latest Nikki Heat novel and composing texts that he never sent her.

_Hope you are feeling better_

_Do you need any more pain killers or soup?_

_Are you pregnant with Josh's baby?_

Even he realized that the last one bordered on Jerry Springer-like crassness. Still he had been tempted for a second to send it because he was worried about her and not knowing what was happening with her was killing him. As he had admitted to his mother he wasn't following Kate around because she was his muse. Although he was reluctant to put a label on exactly what his feelings for her were, he knew one thing, it wasn't about the books anymore.

The ring of his cell phone snapped him abruptly out of his reverie. He looked down at her picture flashing on the screen of the phone. He'd managed to snap her in a very Beckett-like pose, the faint gleam of combined irritation and amusement in her eyes, the look that he was frequently on the receiving end of.

"Hey Beckett, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Yeah, much better thanks," she replied. "Look, I've caught a new case, the body is one block over from Penn station. I'm headed over there shortly, I can pick you up on the way if you want?"

"Sure that would be great," he said.

"Ok, I'll see you out the front of your building in ten."

He tried to read her face as her car pulled up in front of his place but it gave nothing away. It was what he called her poker face in his mind. No tells, whatsoever. She was pretty good at playing her cards close to her chest, and he had certainly lost enough games of poker to her over the years to back that up.

He wasn't sure quite how to bring up her possible pregnancy without offending her so he sat almost bouncing in his seat with nerves but not saying anything. Stealing glances at her every so often as if the answer would be revealed in some small tic on her face.

She could tell that he was burning with curiosity and debated in her mind what the best thing to do was. She knew he had seen the pregnancy test box and although he had restrained himself from saying anything so far, self control wasn't one of his strong points. So tell him, clear the air and hope that he wouldn't say anything further? Or say nothing, after all it was her private business and run the risk that he'd say something revealing in front of others which would start rumors swirling around at work?

"No I am not pregnant," she said, keeping her face resolutely fixed on the traffic in front of them.

"I didn't ask," he looked at her quickly before turning his face to look out his side window and hide the small smile of relief that lifted his lips. Inside though he was doing his little happy dance.

"Yes you were not asking very loudly," she replies.

Fortunately that conversation seemed to have cleared the tension in the air because he was content to stay quiet until they reached the crime scene. Ducking under the yellow crime scene tape that cordoned off the little alleyway Beckett spotted the ME crouched over a dumpster.

"Hey Lanie what do we have?" she asked.

"Middle aged white male, looks like he sustained blunt trauma to the temporal area, effectively he's had his brains bashed in," Lanie responded as she looked up from where she had been examining his head. "For once I'd like to come to a crime scene in a florist's shop or maybe a perfumery. Why is it that the dead bodies always end up in some stinking back alley?"

"I haven't even noticed the smells. A murder victim and your lovely presence, Lanie that sounds like a perfect night out for me," said Castle flirting with an exaggerated fluttering of his eyelids.

"Smooth Castle, very smooth," Lanie complimented him. "You sure know how to turn a woman's head, some guys could take a lesson from you." Although Lanie was very careful not to look in his direction, the rest of the team knew her comments were directed at Esposito.

Beckett shook her head, it continued to surprise her that Lanie and Esposito still thought that their relationship was some big secret. If they really wanted to hide the fact that they were a couple then they needed to work on avoiding those little intimate glances and covert touches.

Lanie headed back to the morgue with the body while the rest of the team spent the next few hours canvassing the shops that backed onto the alley hoping to find any witnesses but to no avail.

Beckett could see that energy levels were starting to ebb and with the lack of progress she decided to call it a night. "Ok that's enough for today, lets get back to it with fresh eyes in the morning," she said.

"Anyone else keen to grab some burgers at Remy's?" suggested Ryan. "Jenny's out of town at the moment so I have to feed myself."

Esposito and Castle readily agreed but Beckett declined.

"Sorry guys, have to take a rain check on it. I've got other plans."

"Oh big date with the boyfriend is it?" Ryan teased her.

Esposito subtly nudged Ryan and mouthed, 'Not good bro,' as he quickly glanced over at Castle.

Although Beckett didn't really share details about her private life, she didn't lie either when directly questioned so she answered casually, "yes, in fact."

Castle felt the bite of jealousy as he watched her walk off, he wondered if Josh knew how lucky he was to be with someone like Kate Beckett.

**A/N: Of course I wasn't going to let Beckett be pregnant with Josh's baby. That would have been too sadistic. And given the number of people who hate Josh, I might have been forced to going into hiding if the story had gone there.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: In a parallel universe I actually do own Castle, but unfortunately not in this one.**

Chapter 3

Beckett spent at least half an hour trying on different outfits before she was happy with the red chiffon dress with the cinched in waist. Although it ended conservatively enough just above the knee, the split up the side gave enticing glimpses of her long legs and the deep neckline showed a bit more cleavage than she was normally comfortable with.

At work she dressed for practicality with trousers and button down shirts commonly. Her high heels were her only concession to femininity often. But every girl likes to feel sexy, at least every now and then, and Beckett was no exception.

So she put in the extra effort with her clothes and makeup tonight, hoping to really wow Josh. They hadn't seen each other since her pregnancy scare, his work schedule meant he had been on call for the last couple of days or sleeping to recover.

She had spent her sick days thinking about exactly what she wanted out of their relationship. Maybe they weren't ready to have a child together but she knew that they did need to move their relationship on to another level if they had any shot of every being ready. And after all they had been together for almost 9 months now, so she had decided that they needed to have 'The Talk.'

Maybe Josh was in the same place as her because he had made special plans for tonight. He was taking her to a fancy two Michelin star restaurant, which was unusual as they were both normally much more casual people. The whole evening felt like he was building up to something.

She stole one last glance at herself in the mirror, checking that she was happy with the overall look before she walked over to answer the drone of the intercom.

"Hey Kate, ready for tonight?" Josh said.

"Definitely. Come on up," she replied as she buzzed him in.

When she opened the door her vision was filled with a large bouquet of red roses. Josh's handsome visage just visible over the top of the flowers

"Wow, thanks. These are gorgeous," she said as she took them from him. "Let me just put these in some water and we can get going." She looked over to her kitchen table where the sunflowers from Castle sat in her only vase. They were just beginning to wilt so she decide to chuck them out.

"Those sunflowers look nice. Who are they from?" queried Josh.

She had no reason to be embarrassed but Kate was a bit reluctant to reply. "Oh, they're from Castle," she finally admitted.

"Why is Castle sending you flowers? Was there some special occasion that I have forgotten?"

Although his tone was deliberately casual, she could sense a hint of jealousy in his comments. Josh had never really understood why the writer had been following her around for the last few years. And given the fact that the fictional characters of Nikki and Jameson were based on her and Castle, the sex scenes between the two in the books had certainly not eased Josh's concerns.

"I was sick, and he just sent them as a get well present." Beckett picked up her coat and moved over to the door, hoping to end that conversation.

"You should have told me you were sick," he said lightly, not wanting to seem pushy. "I would have come over to look after you, there has to be some use for all those years that I spent at medical school."

"I'm not sure that being sick with the flu really calls for the services of a hotshot cardiothoracic surgeon. Although I am sure that your bedside manner would have been great."

"Ok, but hopefully I might get to show you some of that bedside manner tonight then," he flirted.

Beckett was happy with the way that potential argument had been defused and the rest of their conversation during dinner continued in a similar light-hearted way. She'd decide to wait until they had eaten, and were mellow after a few drinks to bring up 'The Talk.'

As they were enjoying their after dinner drinks Josh reach across the table to take her right hand in both of his. "Kate, I think that you are a wonderful woman and these last few months with you have been special. But with our work schedules we haven't spend as much time together as I would have wanted. I would really like to be able to get the chance to concentrate on us without work being an issue."

She smiled at him, thinking he really is close to being perfect. He was saying all the right things, points that she wanted to bring up herself.

"You know how I have been doing these stints with Médecins Sans Frontières, well they have asked me to head the team in Sudan. I'm going to take a sabbatical from my job here for a year and I'd like you to come with me."

Suddenly the fairy tale was turning into a nightmare. How was it that she seemed to pick guys who were always leaving? True both Josh, and Will before him, had asked her to come with them, but if they truly knew her at all, knew how important her job was to her, then they would know that there really wasn't much of a choice.

Josh could tell from the way her face fell that he wasn't going to like her answer so he spoke up quickly. "Look don't say anything now. I know that I am asking a lot but I really think it will be a great opportunity for both of us. Just say that you will think about it tonight and tell me what you decide tomorrow, ok?"

"Ok I'll think about it," she said, although really it wasn't likely that she would change her mind. "I think I need to go home now and be alone for a bit."

"Call me tomorrow?" he asked hopefully, as she got into the cab alone.

She couldn't bring herself to reply so she just nodded as the cab pulled away from the curb.

* * *

Beckett was very introspective at work the next day. She sat at her desk thinking about people that she had lost. Her mother's murder was the first brick to shatter the fragile glasshouse of her psyche. She'd lost her father during those years when he had retreated into alcoholism. Will had left her behind and Josh was about to. Hell, even Castle had left, that summer that he had gone to the Hamptons with Gina and she hadn't heard from him during those months.

The lesson that she had learnt from those experiences was that if you cared then you could get hurt. Was it any wonder that she had built so many walls to protect herself? Better to kept things casual, only deal on the superficial level, because if you only had low expectations of others then they couldn't disappoint you.

Castle shot an anxious glance at her from the corner of his eye. Beckett was missing that vital spark that she normally had. The drive and passion that normally lit her eyes up from the inside like a jack-o-lantern. He had tried to ask her what was going on earlier but she had just brushed it off. .Was she upset because she wasn't pregnant he wondered?

"Earth to Beckett, come in Beckett," he said trying to get her attention. "My extraordinarily fragile ego can't take much more of this being ignored. I might even be forced to peruse my fansites just to feel the love."

"The only extraordinary thing about your ego is how overinflated it is," she shot back. "Not too surprising I guess given the hyperbolic flattery that your groupies post on those sites."

"And exactly how would you know what is on those sites, unless of course you've been typing in your own sweet nothings. Let me guess, were you the one offering to play naughty nurse? Because if I had known it was you then I would have totally taken up the offer."

He had that half smirk on his face that she found totally annoying, and yes cute as well, she admitted to herself. Outwardly though she was very careful not to smile and let him know he'd gotten to her. She just shook her head like a disappointed parent. At least he had managed to pull her out of her funk she thought.

She had felt out of sync all day and was even having trouble concentrating on their current case which was not like her at all. Fortunately they had caught a lucky break, closed circuit cameras from the nearby train station had shown their victim, Sid Cotter, leaving the platform 15 minutes before his estimated time of death in the company of a known drug dealer, Vincent Torres.

Ryan and Esposito had picked up Mr Torres for questioning and he was stupid enough to still be in possession of the victim's wallet and phone. Essentially a drug deal that had turned into robbery and murder. With that level of incriminating evidence it hadn't taken long for Torres to capitulate and confess to the murder. By five o'clock it was all done and dusted apart from the paperwork.

Suddenly Beckett got up and grabbed her coat. "Are you guys all good?" she called out to Ryan and Esposito. "I need to go and do something."

"Yeah, no problems. We got this covered," Esposito answered for the duo. "See you Monday."

Castle scrambled up out of his chair as if to follow her but Beckett held up her hand to ward him off.

"No," she said firmly, "this is personal."

The expression that came across his face made her feel like she had just kicked a puppy but she turned without acknowledging it and left the bullpen. She would have loved some support for the difficult scene she knew was coming up with Josh but having Castle there would have just inflame the situation even more.

* * *

She'd arranged to met Josh at a café, best to do this on neutral ground she thought. She fidgetted with her coffee while she waited for him to turn up. There wasn't going to be any winners in this, but she hoped that they could at least part on good terms.

"Hey Kate," he said as he stood in front of her. He leant over to give her a kiss but she quickly turned so his lips only glanced over her cheek. There wasn't any point in giving him false hope, she wouldn't be that cruel. He had a sinking feeling as he slipped into the booth opposite her, he knew exactly where this conversation was going.

"Josh, I know how much your aid work means to you. And I truly think that it is great that you have the chance to affect all these people's lives. I can't compete with that, so I'm not asking you to give up your dream and stay in New York with me."

"It's not a competition Kate."

"But my job is also important," she went on, as if he hadn't said anything. "I get to help people as well. Maybe not on the scale that you do but it's just as necessary. My work is a big part of who I am. So my answer is no, I can't come to Sudan with you. I think that it's best if we end this now before we hurt each other even more."

"There has got to be some sort of compromise, maybe if I just went for 3 months and we did the long distance thing," he pleaded.

"No I'm sorry," she said as stood up. She dropped some money on the table for her drink before she met his gaze again. "I truly wish you all the best," and with that she left.

* * *

She sat on the couch contemplating the glass of wine in her hand as if it held the secrets of the universe. She was trying to clear her head but her thoughts just kept circling around the sadness of ending the relationship. Maybe she hadn't been in love with Josh but there had been real feelings on both their parts.

How pathetic was she, sitting at home on a Friday night, drinking alone. It would be best if she was doing something, anything really, other than wallowing in her misery. With that in mind she pulled out her phone to call Lanie.

"Hey Kate, what's up?" Lanie greeted her.

"Are you free tonight? I could really do with a drink and maybe some dancing later?" she replied.

"As a matter of fact I'm headed over the Old Haunt pub now…."

"Great, I'll meet you there," Kate interrupted her. "Bye," and she hung up before Lanie could add that she was actually meeting up with Javier and the other guys there. Ah well Lanie mentally shrugged, Kate probably woudn't mind the extra company.

**A/N: I have never hated Josh so I didn't want to make him out to be a total jerk. And I don't think that Beckett would stay with someone for so long if she didn't care for them. But he is standing in the way of a Castle/Beckett relationship so he had to go (so you get your wish GenevaAthena, and thanks to all for the reviews).**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: If I said that I owned Castle and that I had some prime beach front property that you might be interested in buying would you really believe me?**

Chapter 4

By the time that Beckett had spotted Lanie, nestled suspiciously close to a certain detective, it was too late to back out of the pub.

"Hey Beckett, what are you drinking?" Castle called out as she tried to leave unnoticed. "I'm getting the next round."

She had been hoping for just a girls night out, Lanie was always a willing ear when she needed to unload. Maybe it was just as well that the guys were also here, it meant that she wouldn't spend the next few hours rehashing her conversation with Josh, and her team wasn't a bad lot to share a few drinks with.

"Make mine a vodka martini," she said as she threw her coat over the back of an empty chair and sat down.

"Coming right up, two Heinekens for you guys and another gin and tonic for you Lanie?" he asked. The others nodded their confirmations and Castle disappeared into the crowd as he made his way over to the bar.

"Onto the hard stuff already? Girl you better watch out, at this rate you might end up on stage, dancing with some hunk in a cage by the end of the night," Lanie cautioned in a teasing tone.

"I would totally pay to see that," Esposito said. And then tried to back track as he caught the mock glare that Lanie sent him. "I would only be looking, I didn't say I wanted to be the hunk in the cage with her. Ok, I take it back, I would pay not to see it in fact. Just cover my eyes with a blind."

"What are you paying not to see Esposito? Is this some new kinky sex game that I haven't heard of? You might have to explain it to me sometime Lanie, just for research purposes of course. Nikki is kind of slutty as you know," Castle said, having only caught the end of the conversation. He slid the drinks onto the table.

"Oh it's just Beckett's other career. It involves a hunk, a cage and some dancing," Ryan answered, happy to put his boss in the line of fire.

A glazed look came over Castle's face. "Cage dancing, how is it that I have never seen this talent of yours before Beckett?" he questioned. "I'd even volunteer to let you demonstrate on me."

Beckett almost choked on her drink at the playful leer on his face. The mental image that sprang forth in her mind at his words was a bit too detailed for her comfort. "The only scenario that would see you, a cage, and me is if you were in handcuffs."

"Oh, this just gets better and better. I never knew you were so adventurous detective."

"N-no, I meant I would be arresting you," she stammered. He looked like he was about to jump in with another innuendo so she conceded. "Never mind, anything I say is just going to make this even worse."

He smiled as he drew a one in the air, score one point for team Castle. Fortunately for Beckett the conversation moved on, as Castle and Ryan decided it was that it was Lanie and Esposito's turn for a bit of a grilling. It was fun to tease the couple as they hadn't yet come out publicly as a couple despite the fact that the whole precinct knew.

"So how hot is this new girlfriend of yours? And when are we going to meet her?" asked Ryan looking at his partner.

"Who said that I had a new girlfriend?" he tried to deny.

"Well you have been dressing sharper lately."

"And you're clean shaven every morning now, I guess she doesn't like stubble rash," added Castle as he glanced significantly at Lanie.

There was a pause before Esposito looked over at Lanie, took her hand and said, "I think they know."

"Of course we totally knew, we are cops after all, we are trained to notice odd behaviour," said Ryan.

Beckett felt a pang of melancholy as she looked at the happy couple as they self-consciously held hands. She was happy for her friends, they were both good people but their newfound joy only emphasized her loss. Lanie caught the pensive look on Kate's face, which only confirmed her suspicions that something was up with her best friend.

As the boys continued to hassle Esposito, Lanie leant over to whisper to Beckett, "Are you ok?"

"Not here," she replied as she glanced anxiously around the table to see if any of the guys had heard.

"I think I have something in my eye," Lanie announced to the table as she got to her feet. "Will you take a look at it for me in the bathroom?" And with that she dragged Beckett off to find some privacy.

Fortunately the ladies room was empty when they entered because Lanie wasted no time getting down to business. "So do you want to tell me what's making you look like you've lost your job and someone shot your dog to boot?"

"I broke up with Josh."

"Oh, hon, I am so sorry." Lanie pulled her in for a tight hug. "What happened? Do you want to talk about it? He wasn't cheating on you or anything like that was he? Because me and the boys would deal to his pretty ass if he did and no-one would ever find the body."

The sympathy was enough to crack Kate's emotional control and she let out a tiny sniffle. "No nothing like that. If it was something as mundane as infidelity I'd be kicking his ass myself. No, he got offered a job doing aid work in Africa for a year and apparently I'm not a good enough reason for him to stay. Why am I not enough? I am so sick of always being the one who is left behind."

"Men are so stupid sometimes. If that boy couldn't see what a treasure you are then he didn't deserve you," Lanie consoled her. "Look, do you want to ditch the guys? We could make it just a girls night if you want."

"No, it's fine. The extra company has actually been a good distraction. Believe it or not I would be even more morose if the boys weren't here and goofing around. I think that I just want to have some fun tonight, get my mind off Josh."

"Well in that case you need to fix your makeup and we need to go out there and party," Lanie said offering her a clean tissue. "Girl you know what they say; the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

* * *

"What do you think they are talking about in there?" Castle speculated. "They have been gone for an awfully long time. Do you think that they are talking about us?"

"I hope not," said Esposito pulling uncomfortably at the collar of his shirt. "And I don't think that they would ever tell us. You know how it is, the ladies room at a pub or club is like the inner sanctum. What is said there is never to be repeated outside of those walls."

Beckett and Lanie pulled up behind Esposito at that moment. "Don't worry baby, if we did talk about guys, it's not like Kate and I would ever discuss measurements and you've got nothing to be embarrassed about anyway," Lanie whispered in his ear. If it was possible for a Hispanic man to look green then Esposito was doing a very good impression of it, as he took in implications of that comment.

"What did you say Lanie?" Ryan asked.

"I said drink up gentlemen, I feel the need to go somewhere there is music and a dance floor." And to demonstrate the two women downed the remainder of their drinks.

* * *

The nightclub they picked was very popular judging from the line of people that waited patiently out the front for admittance. It looked like it would be at least a thirty minute wait.

"Maybe we should try somewhere else," Beckett ventured. "I don't really feel like queuing up."

"Don't worry about it," said Castle. "I know a guy."

Of course he knows a guy she thought, he knows a guy everywhere. Just a benefit of his celebrity status. Normally she didn't like his fame or pushing in line but this once she would admit that it was useful.

"Hey Mark," Castle greeted the bouncer as he walked past the queue of people.

"Hey Rick, long time no see. Last time was that New Year 's Eve party wasn't it?"

"Yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea that she was going to do that with the whipped cream."

"Nah, it was all good," Mark laughed as he ushered their small group into the front lobby. "You guys have a good night."

"Whipped cream huh? Do I even want to know the story behind that?" Beckett asked as they checked their coats in.

Castle gave her his naughty boy grin. "I don't think so. I'm not sure what the statute of limitations on public indecency is and I would hate for you to have to arrest me."

They managed a few songs on the dance floor as a group before Lanie declared that she was parched and they found an unoccupied booth to rest in. Esposito offered to get them all drinks and the others gratefully accepted apart from Ryan who had decided to call it a night.

"Sorry guys, I have to get up early tomorrow. Jenny's flight gets in at 8 am and I have to pick her up from the airport."

Despite encouragement from the others to stay he couldn't be dissuaded. Unfortunately Beckett could feel a shift in the group dynamic as soon as he left. With the five of them it was like a big group of friends enjoying a night out but now it felt very much like two couples. She wondered whether or not Castle felt as uncomfortable with it as she did.

He must have felt the same because he quickly jumped up to follow Esposito to the bar, offering to help carry some drinks back. That left the two women alone to gossip. They both admired the back view as the men walked off.

"Nice ass, Castle's isn't bad either," Lanie voiced the thought that was running through both their minds., although Beckett would never admit aloud. "Girl you know that you could do worse than writer boy."

"Come on Lanie, it's Castle."

"All I am saying is that you are both free. He's charming, good looking and the way he flirts with you makes me blush sometimes. Also if he can do in bed even half of the things that he writes about, then he must be freaking amazing."

"I'll admit that your first two points are valid," Beckett conceded, " but Castle flirts with anything female not just me. Let's face it, he didn't earn his playboy image by being a wallflower. I really don't want to be another Castle groupie."

Lanie gave up arguing, she knew her friend could be obstinate at times. Although she couldn't help mumbling under her breath, "you wouldn't be a groupie if he was serious."

The conversation had moved onto Beckett's new apartment by the time the men rejoined them. She was explaining her plans for a flat warming party next month and cautioning them all to make sure that they kept that date free.

"Count me in. I could help you with decorations as well. Are you going to have a theme? You could do Pirates of the Caribbean, I've got this great Captain Jack Sparrow costume I have been dying to use. No, actually it has to Star Wars, I could see you rocking the gold bikini Princess Leia outfit," Castle said.

"No, definitely no costumes and no themes," Beckett said firmly. "There will only be food, drinks, good company and conversation."

"Booooring," he sulked.

An argument ensued as Castle tried to change her mind by nagging like a nine year old, only stopping when Lanie let out a squeal. The music in the club had changed to a slightly slower beat of song that they all recognized. "I love this song. Come on, you have to show me those moves that you've been bragging about," she said as she dragged Esposito back out onto the dance floor.

Castle looked over at Beckett, she could tell he was about to ask her to dance as well but she spoke up first, pre-empting him. "I think I might sit this one out." The R+B tempo along with the suggestive lyrics leant the song to a bump and grind motion as demonstrated by most of the couples dancing on the floor, definitely not something she intended to do with Castle. "How about I get us this round of drinks," she offered, grabbing at any excuse to avoid the awkward situation, and left him sitting at the booth alone.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

There was a large crowd of people all waiting to be served so it took Beckett some time before she made it to the front. As she waited she glanced back in the direction of her friends. She easily spotted Lanie and Esposito on the dance floor, he hadn't been exaggerating his moves she thought as she observed them for a few minutes. Looking over to the booth she was surprised to find that Castle wasn't alone. His new 'friend' was a very attractive blonde who seemed to be fawning all over him. Castle certainly seemed to be lapping it up, as he smiled at the woman.

Even at the height of her fangirl state all those years ago, when she had meet him at that book signing after waiting in line for hours, she was sure that she had never been that obvious. Blondie must have been a fan as well, because Beckett could see that Castle was writing on one of the coasters, probably another autograph seeker. But then blondie did something unexpected, she'd grab the pen he had finished with and his other hand and was writing something on his palm. OMG that woman was chatting him up and had no doubt given him her number.

Beckett whipped around again so that she was facing towards the bar. She really didn't want to see what he did next, nine year olds on a sugar rush weren't known for resisting temptation. . How could men be so superficial she thought, very aware of the pinch of jealousy she was experiencing.

She'd made it to the front of the bar by this stage and was about to speak when one of the bartenders placed a full champagne flute in front of her. "I didn't order this," she said in confusion.

"Compliments of the gentleman over there," the bartender pointed over to a dark haired man standing about 10 feet further along the bar.

Damn he's hot she thought. She didn't normally accept drinks from strange men and she certainly hadn't picked up a guy at a bar since her college days. But tonight she found herself picking up the glass to salute him and gave him a little nod of thanks as she tasted the effervescent liquid. It was nice to feel desirable again after her disappointment with Josh. The guy had obviously taken her gestures as an invitation because he was making his way over to her.

"Hi my name is Jack and you are …?" he introduced himself. There was a casual confidence in his question. This was someone who well aware of their good looks so refusals from the opposite sex were not common.

"Kate," she supplied.

"You seem very familiar, don't I know you from somewhere?"

She rolled her eyes at the pick up line, really was he going to try that old chestnut?

"Maybe through work, are you a lawyer by any chance?"

She thought about lying for a moment, you say you are with the police and people always have some traffic ticket they want you to help them with. In the end though she answered honestly, "I'm a detective actually."

He snapped his fingers as he recalled the occasion. "You testified at the Rafter case 4 months ago."

Maybe it hadn't been a pick up line after all, she could recall that case although she still couldn't place his face. "That's right I did, but I'm sorry, I don't remember you at all. I take it you were one of the lawyers."

"Yeah, I was second chair on that one so I'm not surprised you don't remember me. In the interests of full disclosure I will also admit that I work for the defense. I know how cops hate defense attorneys but if I confess to it straight up I find that I don't get shot at as often. Kind of like being a leper and shouting out 'unclean, unclean' to warn people that I am coming."

She liked his self deprecating humor and was re-evaluating her opinion of his arrogance. Charming, funny, good looking and interested, he was certainly ticking all the boxes when it came to boosting her low self confidence. He might be exactly what she needed tonight.

* * *

Castle was sitting there wondering how he was going to politely get his hand back from Denise, the blonde who had just given him her number. A couple of years ago he might have taken her up on her offer but things had changed since then. Picking up another woman whilst out with Beckett, albeit as friends, would only serve to reinforce his playboy image in her mind.

Fortunately she finally got the hint and left him to return to her friends. Sighing in relief he looked around trying to spot the others. He quickly picked out Beckett standing at the bar, being chatted up by some guy. It looked like she had her own unwanted admirer, if he read the eye roll that she had just given the guy correctly. That little gesture often expressed her exasperation if not down right irritation, he should know, after all he was often on the receiving end of it. Maybe he should give her a hand in getting rid of the Romeo.

Coming up from behind her, Castle draped a possessive arm over her shoulders and threw a challenging look over at her companion. "Hey I thought that I would give you a hand, you were taking a long time getting the drinks," he said.

Jack rapidly got the message and graciously backed off. "Nice to have met you Kate, maybe I'll see you around at court sometime," he said as he walked off.

"What exactly do you think you were doing?" she questioned as she pushed his arm off her.

Castle quickly understood that he had misread that situation. "I thought you were having problems getting rid of that guy. So I was trying to help, you know like I am your wingman. You're Maverick and I'm Goose."

"I'm a cop, do you really think I couldn't get rid of that guy if I had wanted to? You're not my boyfriend, you don't need to protect me."

"I know that I am not Josh, but I was truly just trying to be a friend," he defended himself.

Beckett flinched at the mention of Josh's name. "Josh isn't my boyfriend either," she mumbled as she walked away.

Castle stood there stunned as he processed exactly what she had said. Only a few days ago he had been worried that she might be pregnant with that guy's baby and now they had broken up. Something big must have happened between the two of them to have precipitated it. A break up would explain why Beckett was behaving so oddly tonight. Although he was often the one who was encouraging her to live on the wild side, her vivacity seemed a bit forced, her laugh more reflex than true humor and she'd been knocking back the drinks like prohibition was coming back soon. She seemed a bit out of control and that worried him.

* * *

Beckett let her mind drift, just concentrating on the beat of the music as she danced by herself. It was nice to just move, and thumping bass was effective at drowning out any errant thoughts. An attractive woman dancing by herself however is like blood in the water and soon the sharks started to circle.

She was a little surprised when she spun around and realized that Jack had joined her on the dance floor, but not unpleasantly so. It was nice being partnered by someone who actually knew how dance. He moved with a natural rhythm, his arms and hips actually in time with the beat unlike some of their fellow dancers who looked more like floundering whales.

She felt like she had energy to burn, as the DJ played song after song and she just kept dancing. In a distant part of her mind she knew that it was a false elation brought on by the amount that she had had to drink but for tonight she had shut off the voice of common sense that normally dictated her actions. So when Jack put his hands on her hips to pull her closer she went with it rather than pulling away.

Castle watched her from the edge of the dance floor. By now he was really concerned. To someone who didn't know Beckett she might have seemed ok but he'd been observing her for almost 3 years and he knew that she might well regret this tomorrow. He looked around trying to find Lanie or Esposito, it would be better if one of them intervened because he knew that Beckett would likely bite his head off if he did interfere. Unfortunately neither of them was readily visible so he braced himself before facing her.

"Beckett you need to come with me," Castle said as he placed himself between the dancing pair.

"Hey we were dancing here," Jack objected.

Castle looked over his shoulder at the hand that the other guy had placed there and then looked up with a glare that he had seen Esposito use many a time to subdue a suspect. As Esposito had explained to him one time, 'It's about letting the other guy know that you can, and would be willing to beat his ass down, that's how you pull off bad cop.' Castle had never been able to carry it off before, but tonight it worked, the difference was tonight he meant it.

Beckett could sense the potential for violence, and as much as she wanted to yell at Castle, any provocation on her part would've been enough to trigger the fight. So she let Castle hustle her out into the relative quiet of the lobby area, only using her complete silence to let him know exactly how pissed off she was with him.

"Beckett, I think you're upset because of Josh and you've had too much to drink. As your friend, I'm saying you need to go home."

"Your friendship with the Mayor may have gained you an all access pass to my professional life but it doesn't mean that you get to tag along in my private life as well. If I want to have a few drinks, if I want to dance with a guy, if I want to feel attractive for change, then that is none of your business. Butt out of my life."

Castle was hurt, he thought that they had moved on from their starting point. Yes, she had found him an unwanted annoyance at the beginning but surely now she thought of him as a real partner, someone she trusted, a friend. He was also stunned by how vulnerable she was, her ego must have taken a real battering from Josh if she ever remotely felt unattractive.

"I apologise for interfering if that guy back there is what you truly want. But Kate I want you to know that you don't need to get drunk or pick up some guy at a bar to feel attractive. Attractive is the least of the adjectives that I would use to describe you, I think the word I used was extraordinary," with that he leant in to show her exactly how extraordinary he thought she was.

One hand came up to gently brace the back of her head so she didn't pull away as their lips met. For a moment she was immobile with shock but then she tilted her head slightly to make it easier to kiss him. Even if someone had held a gun to her head, she wouldn't have been able to come up with any other explanation about why she was letting Castle kiss, other than it felt right.

For all the strong emotions that they had been venting, the kiss itself started off so gently. He gently bit her bottom lip before his tongue slid along the seam, enticing her to open her mouth further. But even when she did, he didn't go any further, teasing her with little flicks of his tongue until she couldn't take it any longer and she turned aggressor.

Her tongue thrust into his mouth as her hands came up below his jacket to grab at his lower back and pull him closer so their lower halves melded together. Even if she could inhale his essence into herself she didn't think that it would be close enough. The intensity of this kiss even exceeded the only other time their lips had met. There could be no pretending that this was just undercover work, they both knew that desire was the only thing fueling this.

So she was surprised when he suddenly pulled back. "No Kate, not like this, not when you are drunk. Stay here, I'll find Lanie, she'll take you home," and with that he turned back into the club.

**A/N Sorry I like the characters too much. I couldn't let them get together because one or other was drunk. Plus I think that Castle would have more respect (or I'd like to think he would) than to take advantage of the situation. Don't worry they'll get there though.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Beckett lay in bed enjoying the peace and calm of her bed. She had the covers pulled right up to under her chin and with her eyes closed it felt like she was cocooned in her own little world. Only half awake she could still recall the pleasant sensations from her dream. The feel of warm hands on her hips pressing her closer to a firm male body, as their bodies swayed to the music. And then her mouth opening to meet his as his face loomed over her. Castle. It was Castle who was kissing her.

It was enough to shock her into full consciousness. Oh crap she thought, how am I going to deal with the fallout from last night? She had behaved badly and said some truly hurtful things to one of her closest friends, she owed him at least an apology for that. She also owed him a response to that kiss.

The two of them had been like two boxers, circling around each other for the last 3 years, neither quite willing to engage. The flirting and innuendos that they traded were like half hearted testing jabs, easily deflected and ignored. With that kiss Castle had made his opening move, getting past her guard, now she had to decide what her counter move would be. A decision like that is not lightly made, so she did what all women do when confused about affairs of the heart, they call on their girlfriends.

Lanie picked up on the third ring. "Hey Kate, I didn't think that you'd make it out of bed before noon based on your state last night. How's your head feeling this morning?"

"If my head was the worst consequence of last night, then I would be thankful. Look Lanie, can we catch up for brunch. I did something stupid last night and I really need your advice."

"Ok meet you at the French café in half an hour."

It was amazing what a shower, coffee and two Tylenol can achieve. Beckett actually felt half human by the time she joined Lanie at the café.

"So spill the beans Kate, does this have anything to do with Castle? He looked pretty agitated when he found me last night. He wouldn't say what the problem was, only that I needed to help get you home."

"It's hard to know where to start. I got deliberately drunk last night," she confessed. "You would think that I would know better, after all that I went through with my dad. But I felt like I need alcohol as a crutch after what had happened with Josh. It was also an excuse. All the pressure of the last few days, I needed to blow off some steam so badly. And if I was drunk then I couldn't really be held responsible for my own actions. I'm a cop, I've seen all the dark things that can happen to women when they are drunk and get picked up by some random stranger. But last night I was that woman, or I could have been if Castle hadn't stepped in."

"Kate, you are allowed to relax sometimes, maybe the way that you chose to do it yesterday was stupid but you were smart enough to be surrounded by friends who prevented you from taking it too far. Cut yourself some flak." Lanie advised.

"No," Beckett shook her head as she tried to explain. "Getting drunk wasn't the stupid thing that I meant. I blew up at Castle when he was trying to help. I basically told him that I resented him hanging around me at work and that he had no right to intrude into my private life as well. None of that is true, he's not some spoilt writer that I have to babysit, he's my partner and my friend. I shouldn't have lashed out like that."

"How did he take that?" Lanie asked.

"The worse thing is that he apologized. I was a total bitch to him and he apologized to me, told me that I was extraordinary and then he kissed me."

"He did what?" Lanie's jaw dropped.

"He kissed me," Beckett said simply.

"So what did you do then? Did you slap him? Is that why he was so upset when he found me?"

"No," Beckett admitted, " I kissed him back."

"So the two of you were making out. How is it that I ended up being the one taking you home in a cab?"

"He pulled back, said something about not taking advantage when I was drunk and then he disappeared to find you, you know the rest of it from there. I don't know how I am going to make it up to him for those things that I said and I don't know what I am going to do about that kiss. I'd like to pretend that last night never happened, but I would have to be the queen of denial for that to work, so what do you think I should do?"

"Well the apology is the easy part, just tell him what you told me. That you regret saying those things and that you actually think of him as a partner and a friend. He won't hold that against you. As for what you should do about the kiss, well I've been telling you to go for it for the last few years. That guy cares for you, I think you should take a chance," Lanie advised.

"I don't think that I can. We are too different for it to work and I can't see us going back to being friends if it fails. I don't want to lose him, Lanie."

Lanie just shook her head. "Either fish or cut bait. You need to stop stringing that boy along."

"I haven't been stringing Castle along," Beckett denied. "I have been in a relationship with Josh and Castle knew it."

"You've been sending him mixed messages. Ask yourself, who is the one that you spend the most time with, the one that you rely on to have your back, the one that you've trusted to help with your mother's case? Josh might have been the guy you were dating but Castle is the one that you're in a relationship with."

* * *

Castle stood staring at the contents of the fridge, supposedly he was looking for inspiration for lunch but really his thoughts were elsewhere. It was only when the door started beeping, because it had been open so long, that he finally stirred.

"Dad, what's so interesting that you've been staring in the fridge for the last five minutes?" Alexis asked.

"Hi Pumpkin, sorry I was just thinking."

"Yes I could see the smoke coming out of your ears," she joked.

"Have I taught you no respect for your elders at all?" he asked.

"I show you as much respect as you show Grams. Like Father, like daughter," she cheekily replied.

"Touché," he acknowledged.

"So what's with all the deep thinking though Dad?"

"I was thinking how hard relationships are. I kissed Kate last night," he said.

"That's great Dad, isn't it? I mean, you really like her and all."

"I'm glad that I did, but I'm really not sure how she feels about it. She might well boot me out on my backside."

"I'm sorry, but I am sure that your heart was in the right place and surely that has to count for something. Can I help at all?" Alexis offered.

"Thanks honey, but I think that this is something I have to sort out for myself."

* * *

Beckett had been standing in front of his door for the last five minutes, vacillating with indecision. Talk to him and sort it out or just get the hell out of here and pretend that nothing had ever happened and hope that he went along with that. Finally she decided that this was ridiculous, she was a grown woman, an NYPD detective, she wasn't a thirteen year old girl who couldn't talk to a boy without stammering. She knocked firmly on the door before she could change her mind.

Martha opened the door and greeted her, "Kate, how lovely to see you. Come in please. Did you want to see Richard?"

"Yes, thank you Martha. Is he home? I'm sorry I didn't call before I came over," she apologized.

"Don't worry about that, you're welcome anytime. I think he's in the kitchen. Richard," Martha called out as she preceded the other woman into the next room, "you have company."

They found him there sharing a hug with Alexis. The teenager whispered to him, "I think you're about to find out exactly how she's feeling." She gave him another encouraging squeeze before turning to greet their guest. "Hi Detective Beckett."

"Hi Alexis. Castle do you think I could have a private word with you please."

"Sure, this way," he ushered her into his office.

Once they were alone, with the door safely shut, Beckett came straight to the point. "I'm sorry for what I said last night and I didn't mean it. I feel privileged to count you as a partner and a friend. Thanks for saving me from myself."

As Lanie predicted, his forgiveness was instantaneous. "Hey don't even think about it anymore, I forgive you and you are welcome," he said graciously.

She felt lighter, half the burden was lifted, but now came the harder part. She lowered her eyes, staring at a random spot on the floor because she was afraid what she might see on his face. She paused before she pushed on with the rest of it. "About that kiss. What did you mean by it?"

He was surprised that she had chosen to directly confront the situation, but also relieved. He'd already decided to lay out his cards, after that kiss he didn't think that he could go back to being just her friend. "I think you already know Kate. But if there are any doubts in your mind, then let me clear them up. I care about you, more than just as a partner or a close friend. I think that we could be great together and I hope that you'll let us have the opportunity to find out."

It stunned her how emotionally vulnerable he had made himself, but then again he had always been a much more open person than she was. She didn't know if she could be that brave. "I'm sorry Rick, I have just come out of one relationship, I'm not sure that I am ready to jump into another yet."

His heart plummeted, he had feared that this would be her response. "Ok Kate, I respect your decision. Maybe it would be best if I took some time off."

"What do you mean time off?" she said in a panicked tone, finally looking up to meet his gaze.

"It means not coming into the station for a bit," he clarified.

"How long for?" she asked.

"I'm not sure," he answered truthfully, "until I work things out."

She had decided not to go out with him because she had been afraid of losing him if it didn't work out but it seemed like she was going to lose him anyway. "So you're saying 'go out with me or else.' That feels a lot like an ultimatum," she accused him.

"No, I didn't mean it to. It's just, it would be too hard for me to see you and yet not actually be with you. I need some time."

"Please Rick, does it have to be this way? Can't we come to some compromise?" she pleaded.

"Ok, you're not ready for a relationship but maybe we could just try casual instead," he offered.

"What do you mean by casual?" she asked suspiciously.

"I mean we could share a few meals, maybe a drink now and then. You know dating. It's not that much different from what we do already except for the part where I might try to kiss you at the end of the night," he said. He could see that she was wavering, but still not sure. "You could even see other people as well, so it wouldn't be like we were in relationship as such." He would be totally shattered if he saw her with someone else but he knew he was going to have to meet her more than half way if he was to have any chance of convincing her.

"Ok," she agreed hesitantly, "but I have some rules. First, this stays secret, just you and me, I don't want other people to think that I'm your groupie or something. And secondly if this doesn't work, you won't disappear on me. We get to stay friends."

"That's fine, but I have my own condition. You have to agree to give this a fair go before you pull the plug," he bargained. She just nodded her agreement. "Don't look so scared," he leant in to gently kiss her, "you never know, you might even enjoy it."

**A/N: Ok, what do you think? I can see Castle doing this, but I'm not sure that I have managed to keep Beckett in character. I would consider re-writing this chapter if most people thought that she wouldn't go for it.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

She could feeling her teeth grinding as she tried to concentrate on the phone records in front of her. It was difficult to find any pattern in the random list of numbers when she kept sneaking looks at Castle out of the corner of her eye. Why didn't he do something? It had been 4 days since she'd gone to his loft to apologize to him and in that time nothing had happened. Zilch. She'd expected him to invite her out on a date almost immediately but instead it was like they'd never had that conversation. If his plan was to keep her on tenterhooks, then it working.

Really she should be grateful, she had wanted to stay as just friends so the situation was perfect. He wasn't pushing, so maybe he'd changed his mind. For some reason that thought didn't make her feel any better and she could feel her jaw clenching again.

Castle smiled to himself, he'd caught her staring at him several times over the last few days. He could just about feel the frustration rolling off her but he had no intention of bulldozing forward. He knew that she still have reservations about all of this and subconsciously she probably had defenses ready to repel his charm offensive. Kate was a private and subtle woman, it would take stealth and cunning to sneak past her guard, fortunately sneaky was his middle name. Part of his plan was to be unpredictable, hence the delay. He'd had to figuratively sit on his hands in order to prevent himself from arranging a date with her up until now.

"So what are you up to this weekend?" he asked casually. "Paula, my agent, has me signed up for this celebrity team go-karting on Saturday. It's a charity race to raise money for the Brooklyn Women's shelter and I need a partner. You compete as teams of two, the pair that has the highest combined ranking wins. I did it last year with Alexis but she's away on a school trip this weekend," he explained.

Beckett was surprised by his invitation, she had thought that he'd go for something a lot more romantic, and slick. Go karting was something you did with friends, not with a date. She quickly glanced around the bullpen to make sure that no-one else was nearby before she answered. "Isn't that a bit public? I thought that we had agreed to keep this secret."

"No, it wouldn't be a date, we'd just be doing it as friends to help out a good cause," he reassured her. "If I'd asked you a week ago, you wouldn't have thought it was a date. Are you coming up with excuses because you're scared of being beaten detective?" he challenged her.

"Scared of losing to you Castle?" she scoffed. "That's not likely. Ok I'll do it. Now can I get back to doing some work?"

"Sure," he agreed and left her to wander over to the break room. He had couldn't help the big grin that was on his face. She was falling in with his plan so easily. While the go karting wasn't a date, what he had planned for later certainly was.

* * *

He picked her up on Saturday afternoon at two pm to car pool it to the race. She threw her bag containing a change of clothes and toiletries into the back seat before getting into the front passenger seat of his SUV. He'd warned her that it could get quite hot under the sponsor's race suits that they would wear for the race so it was best to have something to change into afterwards.

"Ready for a white knuckle, hair-raising, adrenaline rush?" he asked her as he pulled out into the road.

"I assume that you're talking about your driving in New York traffic and not the go karting," she mocked him.

"You wound me with your insults. But no, honestly the racing can get a bit hairy at times. Some of the other drivers are really competitive, there is no love lost out there."

"I can't imagine go karting as a dangerous sport somehow," she said.

"This isn't like karting at some Coney island amusement park. This is people trying to edge you out on the corners and overtaking you at the bends. There is a reason why they make you sign those waivers and wear a crash helmet," he warned her.

"Well I say bring it on then. I'm looking forward to kicking some ass."

The race was actually being held in Long Island and it was only as they pulled up into the car park next to the circuit that she realized how big an event it was. There were hundreds of cars there, people wandered around flying pennant flags for teams she didn't recognize and loud horns tooting every so often. It was like a crowd before a big football match.

"Wow Castle, I didn't expect quite this crowd," she said.

"The charity race is just the finale," he explained. "They have a whole program of races for the professionals which have been going all day."

A harried looking, middle aged woman had spotted Castle by this stage and was rushing over. "Rick, good to see you and thanks again for doing this," she greeted him and then turned to Beckett.

"It's my pleasure Tracey," he assured her. "Kate this is Tracey Sullivan, she's the brains that co-ordinates all the mayhem today. Tracey this is Kate, my.."

He didn't get a chance to finish because Tracey butted in. "Your muse, yes Paula told me who you were coming with and of course I read that Cosmo article about the two of you. Thanks for coming Kate, we really appreciate you giving up your time. And the extra publicity that Team Heat has generated has meant that we managed to sell out the last few corporate boxes."

"Team Heat?" Beckett asked Castle in a slightly threatening tone.

"It wasn't my idea," he said. "Paula suggested it and it was already printed in the program before I even knew it."

"I'm sorry," Tracey apologized. "I didn't know that the name would be a problem, it seemed so cute. You know the writer and the muse for Nikki Heat, hence Team Heat."

"No, it's fine," Beckett conceded graciously, "I was just surprised, that's all. Castle seems to enjoy springing this kind of thing on me."

"Ok then, follow me. I'll get you your race suits and show you were the change rooms are. Once you are ready just meet me over by the yellow pavilion, there's a safety lecture for all the charity racers in about twenty minutes," Tracey said.

* * *

They had been allowed a few practice laps to get use to their karts before the actual race itself. Although they weren't in the same kind of karts that the professionals would use, their vehicles still reach up to forty miles per hour. And being that low to the ground it certainly felt like you were going a lot faster. Beckett hadn't corrected her speed enough on the hairpin bend the first time around and skidded over the safety bars onto the grass verge. But by the second lap she'd improved and clocked the best lap time of the competitors.

Castle was waiting for her as she pulled into the pit stop after completing her warm up. "Not bad, Beckett, apart from that skid on the corner" he said as she got out of the kart.

"What do you mean not bad? I had the fastest time on that second lap."

"Yeah," he said, "but that could have been beginner's luck."

"It was pure skill, and to prove it, I'll kick your butt in the race itself," she boasted.

"In that case would you care to make it more interesting? How about a little bet on the outcome?" he asked.

"Ok, say twenty dollars," she suggested.

"No, that's too easy. If I beat you then you have to make me dinner," he said.

"Ok, but when," she stressed the when, "I win you have to be silent for a whole thirty minutes at a time of my choosing.

They shook hands to seal the bet.

Beckett had drawn third place on the starting grid so she was directly behind Castle who had pole position. She wasn't too worried about the slight disadvantage as the race was over 5 laps so there would be plenty of opportunities to overtake him. She had watched his practice laps and although he hadn't made any handling errors, he was a lot more cautious than her, not pushing the kart to its maximum even on the straights.

By the end of the first lap she realized that her confidence was misplaced. He barely took his foot off the accelerator even on the bends. Anytime she even thought about overtaking him on the inside he would drift over just enough to close the hole and she would have to ease back or risk a collision.

Their karts were still locked in first and second place as they came into the final lap. By now they were starting to lap the stragglers who were still on their fourth lap only. They had to zig zag around to avoid the slower karts and as they came around the hairpin Castle had to suddenly decelerate in order to miss the rear end of another kart that had spun onto the grass. Beckett gunned it as she took the opportunity to draw level with him. He quickly recovered though so they were level pegging as they came into the home straight. The engines of both karts put out a high pitched whine as they were pushed to their full capacity. Beckett couldn't be sure who had won as the checkered flag came down, the finish had been too tight to call.

There was a pause before the announcer said over the loud speaker system, "Tight race but Richard Castle takes out the charity race title for the fifth year in a row."

Beckett just sat in the kart after pulling into the pit stop, she was waiting for the adrenaline to settle before she got up. Castle had already made his way over to her by the time she had gotten out and pulled off her helmet.

"You were totally playing me," she accused him.

There was no way he could plead innocence with that smirk on his face.

"You were deliberately holding back on the practice rounds, and you didn't mention that you happen to have won this race for the last five year," she said. "You were lulling me into a false sense of security so that when you proposed that bet I'd go for it."

"I find that it works to my advantage if I let my competitors underestimate me," he said. "And you have to admit that even if the bet was a bit sneaky, the race itself was fair. So I guess that you owe me dinner then. And I'd like to claim my winnings tonight."

"I will honor my side of the bet," she agreed, "but I don't know if I can make you dinner tonight. It's already six pm, and with the number of cars in the car park I would say that the traffic is going to be jammed heading back. By the time we get back to Manhattan and I've finished cooking, it will be closer to a midnight snack than dinner."

"Actually I was thinking that we might head in the other direction. My Hamptons beach house is only another thirty minutes away, there's a good market on the way where we can pick up some supplies and by the time we've eaten the traffic will have died down so the drive back will be fine."

Sneaky bastard, she thought with admiration. He had planned this well, the race, the bet, even the lure of not sitting in a traffic jam. She knew exactly what he was up to now, this was turning into a date but she found that she wasn't upset about that. After the frustration that she had experienced all week waiting for his move, it was a relief not to have to wonder any more.

"So tell me Castle, how would you have lured me to your beach house if you had lost the bet?" she asked.

He grinned as he understood the implicit agreement in her words. "Well it would have involved being blinded by a bright light and alien abduction," he said. "This way I don't have to pretend to be carrying an alien embryo for the next six months."

She laughed as he spun his crazy story. She had to admit that this was by far the most relaxed first date she had ever had because they were already past that awkward getting to know each other stage. If the rest of the night went as well as this then maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, it's encouraging to know that other people are interested in knowing where this story will go. I can't claim to know myself, as it often seems to want to do it's own thing and ignores my directions. Anyway a warning about this chapter. There is a reason why this story is M rated. So if you are underage or sex scenes offend you then don't read any further.**

Chapter 8

Even in the fading light she was impressed with classic elegance of the beach house. The motion triggered security lights highlighted the paved driveway leading up to the double French doors. She got out of the car and did one slow turn to take in the view. "This is really nice," she complimented him.

"Yeah, I love the calm up here. It's a shame that we got here so late. The view of the beach during the daytime is superb. Even on a grey, stormy day when it's miserable and cold I could still look at it for hours. Anyway, come on in and I'll give you the grand tour," he said as he ushered her inside.

Flicking on the lights in the foyer he indicated the large open plan room that took up most of the ground floor. "This is the living area and over there is the kitchen. It's pretty well stocked with non-perishable items so you should be to find anything you need for the meal in the pantry." Leaving the bag of groceries on the old fashioned butcher's block, he walked over to the stairs.

"This is the master bedroom, that's Alexis' room and the second room along is the guest room," he said pointing at the appropriate doorways. "There are spare towels on the shelf in the guest bathroom at the end there if you want to have a shower before you get changed. I'll just be in my room if you need anything; more soap, hand towels or someone to wash your back for you."

"No, somehow I think that I can manage," she declined.

"I was just offering, because I have never been able to manage personally," he said with a grin. "There's like this spot right in the middle of my back that I can't reach, but hey since you're here maybe you could help me out."

She tried to hold the smile back but didn't quite manage it, she didn't bother replying but just shook her head as she disappeared into the bathroom.

* * *

After she finished her shower and had changed she wandered downstairs again and found him in the kitchen area unpacking the bags. His hair was still damp from his own shower and he was casually dressed, barefoot in a t-shirt and jeans.

"Hey leave that food alone, I thought that I was the one who was meant to be cooking tonight," she warned him. "I don't want you to complain later that I reneged on our bet."

"You know that the whole dinner bet was just a ruse anyway," he confessed. "And to be honest, I've seen the Styrofoam temple that occupies your fridge, so I'm happy to do the cooking if you want."

"No," she insisted as she slapped his hands away from the food. "I am the chef tonight."

"Can I at least help then?" he offered.

"You can help by getting me a drink," she said as she laid out the ingredients that she needed. "I remember this old cooking show that my Mom used to love. The chef always had a glass of wine in one hand, as he cooked with the other."

He smiled at the small insight into her past that she was sharing with him. She had no idea about how many of her walls he had already managed to scale. "Anything in particular that you'd like?" he asked as he perused the wine selection.

"Well I am making a green mango chicken salad, so maybe a nice sauvignon blanc or riesling would go well with it," she said.

"I have just the thing," he said as he chose a bottle from the rack. He poured out two generous glasses and set one down within her reach as he tasted his own glass.

For a woman who didn't do a lot of cooking, she certainly looked like she knew what she was doing. He kept trying to help but the only assistance that she would accept was his directions, as to where he stored things, when she couldn't find a particular tool or utensil.

Finally after putting up with his interference for several minutes she banished him from the kitchen. "Go set the table and put on some music. You are not to return here until I let you back," she commanded.

* * *

The smooth croon of Sinatra was playing and the fireplace was lit, chasing off the slight chill in the air, as she carried two full plates over to the dining table.

"The food looks great," he said as he sat down opposite her. "Would you like a refill?" he asked her as he held out the wine bottle.

"Why are you trying to get me drunk so that you can have your way with me?" she joked.

"Yes, is it working?" he said with a cocky grin on his face.

It could well be she thought as she looked at him, although she didn't say anything aloud. She would never admit it to him, but she was a sucker for the sexy smirk that he had probably perfected at the age of ten. She wanted to lean over and kiss it off his face. Instead she looked down at her own plate and just concentrated on eating.

A comfortable silence descended as they ate. For a man who liked to talk, the silence was unusual and she took it as a compliment to her cooking skills. Finally when they were both done Castle leant back in his chair and patted his stomach. "That was good, I need to get the recipe off you sometime. Alexis would really enjoy it I think."

"Thanks," she accepted his compliment graciously. "I like cooking but I don't often have the time, and it seems like such an effort when I am just cooking for myself."

She got up to clear their plates but he wouldn't hear of it. "No, no. You cooked so it's my turn to clean up. You just finish your wine," he said as he took the dirty dishes over to the dishwasher. "Would you like an after dinner drink or maybe a coffee?" he called out to her from the kitchen.

"A brandy would be nice," she replied.

She had her back to him and was humming and swaying to the blues melody as she looked over his CD collection when he returned with two brandy snifters. He placed both glasses on the coffee table and came up silently behind her. She hadn't heard his approach and startled briefly as his arms came up to encircle her.

"You know, we never got a chance to dance together last week," he said, his mouth was close enough that his breath stirred the hair by her temple. He turned her so that she was facing him as they swayed together, his hands on her lower back. She could feel the warmth of them through her shirt, they felt so hot, like she was burning.

She looked up to meet his gaze as she looped her arms around his neck. There had always been at least a buzz of sexual tension between them since the first time they'd met. Tonight she felt like that sensation had amplified to a prickly feeling running over all her nerves, like she was about to burst out of her skin. Throughout the meal she had felt his gaze on her. The way his touch lingered a bit longer as he passed her wine glass over had made her ache. Tonight she was the one to initiate the kiss as she leant up to meet his mouth.

A different kind of hunger roared now as their tongues dueled. The taste of him was more intoxicating than the faint lingering aftertaste of the wine that they had shared. She pressed her body closer to his, she wanted to feel every square inch of his skin against hers. His hands had drifted from her back to her ass, lifting her onto her toes so that his groin pressed against the juncture of her thighs. The pressure from his erection grinding up against her, even though both of theirs clothes, was so stimulating that she was getting wet for him.

She could feel his eagerness, so she was understandably surprised when he suddenly pulled away and took a step back to put some distance between them.

"No, Kate we need to slow down," he said. "When I said that we could be casual I didn't mean being friends with benefits. I just meant that we could take it slowly, see where this goes."

She had to smile despite her frustration, she was throwing herself at him and he was the one holding back. It really didn't go along with his whole womanizing reputation. "Rick I don't want to go slow tonight. Relax, I'll still respect you in the morning," she said as she advanced closer. She undid the button of his fly and reached into his boxers to grab his cock.

He moaned at the sensation of her fingers encircling his penis but he tried one last time to persuade her. "Kate I don't want you to regret this tomorrow. I don't want this to be a mistake." He couldn't believe what he was saying, he might have to hand back his guy card after this, but he wanted her to be sure.

"Rick, do you remember what my prize would have been if I had won the bet?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Good, because I want you to shut up now," she said.

He would have pointed out that she had actually lost and therefore couldn't claim any prize but by now her thumb was rubbing over the head of his cock and coherent thought was impossible. Fortunately thought wasn't necessary as his body moved on instinct. His hands slid up under her shirt to find her skin. She had to let go of him in order to lift her arms up as he whipped her shirt off over her head but that allowed him to undo her bra and he was rewarded with a view of her breasts.

The dusky pink of the areolas served to highlight her nipples which had hardened into little pebbles. His head automatically bent to take one nipple into his mouth while he rolled the other one between his thumb and index finger. The pleasure from the suction of his mouth on her breast had just a hint of pain as well that added to the ache between her legs. She moaned her approval.

"Rick do you have a condom here?" she asked.

It took a second for his brain to process the question, he was so caught up in what they were doing. "Upstairs," he managed to get out as he dragged her up behind him in his haste to get to the bedroom.

They separated briefly to deal to their remaining clothing and he grabbed a foil packet from the bedside dresser. She bit her bottom lip as she watched him slide the latex sheath down over his cock. He gave her no warning as he pushed her back onto the bed and pounced on her in one fluid movement.

He took his weight on one arm as his other hand trailed down her body, his hips wedged between her thighs. He watched the path his fingers took, starting between her breasts, over her stomach, pausing briefly to flick at her navel ring and then down through her pubic hair to part her labia. She knew where he was looking and that she was totally exposed to him and that just made her wetter.

He slipped one finger inside her pussy, in and out, before a second finger joined the first. His smile was one of male possession as he felt how wet she was for him. "God Kate, you feel so tight, it's going to be so fucking amazing to be inside you," he growled.

Her hips moved to meet the thrust of his fingers and then she felt his thumb join in as well, rubbing moisture over her clit. It was enough to send her over and she screamed his name as she came, "Rick, yes, yes, yes."

Her body was still spasming when he pulled his fingers out but she didn't have long to note the absence before his cock was sliding in. One firm thrust and he was seated up to the hilt. He paused for a moment, allowing her to stretch to accommodate the wider girth of his penis, before he started thrusting again.

His rhythm started off slowly but it built pace and force until he was slamming into her. She raised her arms to grab the head board above her to prevent herself from being pushed further up the bed. She could feel herself starting to peak again.

"Come for me Kate, come now," he said as he slipped one arm below her knee and pulled her leg up. This allowed him to push in even further until she felt like his cock was touching her womb, he was so deep. She clenched down on him as her orgasm washed over her, she could feel his body shaking as well as he reached his own end.

Finally he reluctantly pulled away from her to deal with the condom. But he quickly returned and slid into bed, pulling her back up against him so that they're spooning. Neither of them say anything, just content to enjoy the comfort of being close and let slumber claim them.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: A bit more smut in this chapter, so skip it if it's not your thing  
**

Chapter 9

His nose was the first part to wake up, it itched from the feathery touch of a random strand of hair and he could smell cherries for some reason. He tried to move his hand to scratch at it and that was when he registered the warm weight by his side, tethering his arm down to the bed. By now his brain had also woken up to join the party and putting together all the small clues he knew exactly where he was and more importantly who was with him.

He opened his eyes and looked down at the mass of brown curls covering the head currently resting on his shoulder. Judging from the darkness of the room it was still very early, barely even dawn yet. He knew that she was still asleep because her breath was even and deep. So this was what it was like to wake up with her in his arms, he'd dreamed about it, but the deep feeling of contentment that he felt surpassed his expectations. He lay still, not wanting to wake her and break the enchantment, he knew that there was a potential storm brewing.

Last night she had been sure but despite her words and actions, there was no guarantee that she wouldn't regret it this morning. She could be unpredictable at times and how this would all play out he had no idea. Regardless of what happened though he wouldn't regret last night, even if it turned out to be the only time he ever got to be with her. He was an optimist and he hoped that this was a beginning of something that they would share for years to come.

Although his mind was perfectly happy just laying there another part of his anatomy was also waking up and it had completely different plans. She chose that moment to shift against him, stirring slightly in her sleep. Her face nuzzled closer into the curve of his shoulder while her chest pressed in. His cock hardened into a full erection at the stimulation of her breasts rubbing against him.

It was time that she woke up and joined the party as well he thought. He ran his free hand up her side, starting from the tight curve of her ass, along the slim strength of her back muscles to the vulnerable spot where her neck met her shoulder. Semi-awake now she arched into the caress like a cat that's been stroked. He moved his hand back down again so that he could cup her breast, rasping the sensitive tip with the slightly rough pad of his thumb. "Kate, wake up," he coaxed her. "This will be a lot more fun if you'd wake up."

She mumbled something unintelligible as she woke to the sensation of his lips nibbling along her neck. "Hmmm, I could get used to being woken up like this," she said once she was capable of speech. He tried not to read too much into that statement, but it did make his heart lift with hope.

This morning was like a lazy day at the beach after the violent passion of last night. They were both languid from their recent sleep so kisses and touches were softer and less rushed. They both took the time to enjoy the drawn out foreplay this morning. This time they knew exactly what was waiting for them at the end and were content to enjoy the journey there for its own sake as well.

She pushed herself up so that she was straddling him. She hadn't had a chance last night to get a good look at him so she made up for it now, unashamed of her frank perusal. He had always looked nice in the suits that he wore to the station but that was nothing compared to his naked body. He was toned, his pec muscles well defined but not overblown like a bodybuilder's.

A line of dark hair, starting low on his abdomen, lead her eyes downward to his cock. It sat up proudly curving upwards slightly, the plump head was flushed a darker red color from the increased blood flow to that area. A bead of pre-cum glistened at the slit opening, she couldn't resist the temptation to rub it into his crown with her thumb. His hips jerked up at her touch but she took her hand away after only a few seconds to continue with her inspection. His testicles hung low in the sac, the scrotal skin wrinkly and a darker color than the rest of his skin.

Her eyes now reversed direction and made their way up again, as if to make sure that she hadn't missed any details, until her gaze meet his. He was confident that she did like what she could see, he could tell from her heated gaze. "Enjoying the view Kate?" he asked her.

"The view is nice," she said, "but now I think I want to feel the full experience." She leant over to the dresser where she had seen him grab a condom from last night. She Making a production of it, her thumb and finger forming a tight ring around his cock as she rolled the condom down over his length. "Your cock is so big I didn't think that I could stretch enough to take it last night." Her words were turning him on so much that he didn't think that he would be able to last very long once he got inside her.

She rose up so that she was perched on her knees above him and shuffled forwardly slightly so that she could guide his cock between her folds. She held him there so that the head teased at her entrance but she didn't sink down on it. Instead she swayed her hips backwards and forwards so that his tip rubbed over her clit.

"Please Kate," he begged, "put it in. You're driving me crazy." He put his hands on her hips trying to push them down but she was too strong and he couldn't get enough leverage, lying flat as he was.

"No I don't think so. I like you right where you are," she said, demonstrating this by rubbing his cock against her again. "Maybe I like driving you crazy, after all you've been driving me crazy for years, so this is payback."

He decided that he needed to try a different track in order to persuade her. He slid his hand between her thighs, fingers searching until he found her channel. "But don't you like feeling full?" he asked as his finger slid home up to the knuckle. "Something nice and stiff stretching you wide open." His finger withdrew slightly and her hips followed, trying to keep it inside her. He pushed his finger in and out a few times and then pulled it out completely. "Come on Kate, put my cock inside you. It will feel much better than my finger," he promised her.

She already knew exactly how good it could be and she couldn't withstand the temptation any longer. She guided his cock into the right position and held him firmly in place as she sank down on him. It was a different sensation being in control this time, she could take him as deeply or as shallowly as she wanted. Changing the angle to experience how it felt as his cock pressed more firmly against the different walls of her vagina.

He watched the expressions flicker across her face as she rode him. She was leaning forward slightly, her hands resting on his shoulders, her breasts jiggling slightly with her movements. He reached up to cup them and play with the tight little nipples. "Kate, I can't hold out for much longer" he warned her, "you feel too good."

She opened her eyes at his words and smiled an evil grin. She looked at his face, making sure she had his attention before she brought one of her fingers to her mouth. Moistening it with her tongue she slid it down between her own thighs. She moaned as she stimulated herself, keeping her gaze on his the whole time.

It was too much for him, his balls drawing up tightly as his cock spurted semen into the condom. She continued to ride him as he came, once, twice and then she joined him as her body stiffened with its own release.

* * *

Unfortunately the second time that they woke was not so idyllic. They had both fallen back to sleep again after their bout of morning sex and this time Kate woke first. She'd always found the first 'morning after' a tricky situation to deal with. It was the change in status that she found difficult to wrap her head around. Now every time that he looked at her would he be imagining her naked? Knowing Castle, that would be exactly what he was doing. Oh God, she thought, this was going to be so awkward, she needed to get out of here now.

She tried to sneak off without waking him, slipping his arm off her shoulder so she could get up but she just managed to wake him up instead. He was only half awake but tried to pull her in for a cuddle and she'd reacted like she'd been electrocuted, springing up and away from him. He could picked up on her agitation but was unsure exactly what had triggered it.

She mumbled something about needing a shower as she pulled one of the bed covers off to wrap around her sarong-like. Why she was bothering she wasn't quite sure. After all he had seen it all last night and this morning as well. But she couldn't shake off that awkward feeling. It was different being naked during sex or when they were both sleeping but the realization that she was naked in front of her best friend and that he was equally naked was just too much.

He watched her searching around the room for items of clothing that had been carelessly discarded the night before. "I must have been really bad if you're running away this quickly," he joked, hoping to break the mood. When she didn't reply and wouldn't even look at him he got a sinking feeling. "Please Kate, don't run," he pleaded as he got up, not bothering to cover himself as he walked over to her. He grabbed her hand and wouldn't let go when she tried to tug it back.

She finally looked at him once she realized that he wasn't going to let her go without talking first. "Ok I won't run," she assured him, trying desperately to ignore the blush that stained her cheeks. "It's just …. awkward you know. I mean, it's you and me, awkward. Could you please put some clothes on, it's very distracting"

He smiled in relief as he realized that she was just embarrassed and not upset about last night. It was actually quite cute really, she was a hard nosed NYPD homicide detective and she was blushing like a teenager. "Well I find that sex is easier without clothes. But if it's that much of an embarrassment then next time we could do it like the puritans did. Both of us clothed from neck to toe, with the bed covers pulled right up and only the necessary bits uncovered. I promise to keep my eyes closed the whole time as well," he teased her.

Her blush spread even further, she felt like she was pink from the chest up. She pulled away from him again and this time he let her go, taking pity on her. "Ok, go take a shower then but I want you to know that I had big plans for shower sex as well this morning. I guess that I'll have to take a rain-check on it," he said.

She couldn't run fast enough to escape her mortification.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

She could hear his slightly off key singing coming from the kitchen as she wandered down the stairs after her shower. The slight discomfort between her legs reminded her exactly what the two of them had been doing last night and this morning, and that made her smile despite her lingering embarrassment. He could certainly back up all the boasts that he had made in the past.

She wasn't naive enough to think that a night (and morning) of sex (really great sex) meant that this was going to work but it certainly was a perk. She had already rationalized her decision to sleep with him in her mind. She'd had three major concerns about getting involved with him. Firstly he had this playboy public persona, and unfortunately the double standard still applied. While he might be congratulated for it, the women who go involved with him risked their reputations.

She worked in a male dominated profession, her reputation would take a hit if it became publicized exactly who she was sleeping with. It wouldn't matter to her team or those who knew her well, but she had to deal with strangers every day. It was important that she come across as authoritative and in control. That was why she had insisted that they keep this secret, they would do nothing in public which might imply that there was more going on between them than just police work.

Her second concern was that she could be risking a friendship and partnership that had somehow become important to her. If he disappeared on her again, like he did last summer, it would be like losing another family member. But he had promised no more disappearing act if she decided to call it quits and she took him at his word. It might be hard for them to go back to the way they were before last night but given enough time she was confident that they would get there.

Thirdly she was concerned about how much pain he could cause her. He wouldn't do it deliberately, he was not a cruel man. But if she came to care about him romantically, even loved him and he didn't feel the same, she didn't know if she could recover from that. This is what scared her the most. Her solution was to hold back, she would enjoy the companionship and the sex but always with a cautioning voice sounding in her head. She would make sure that her heart was guarded, that way he could only disappoint her but not actually hurt her. She would compartmentalize him into Rick, her friend and Rick, the guy she was sleeping with. If she could keep her feelings about the two personas separate then it would be ok. With that resolve firmly in her mind, she went to join him for breakfast.

"So what do you want to do today?" he asked her as he set a plate of pancakes in front of her at the breakfast bar, she was grateful that he was choosing to ignore her previous embarrassment. Castle knew that she'd been freaking out this morning, even if she would never admit to it, so he was deliberately trying to play it low key. If she couldn't cope with their situation here, where they were away from the prying eyes of friends, family and any paparazzi, then he knew they had no chance.

"I was hoping that you'd be ok if we spent the day here before heading back to the city," Rick said. He was giving her the old puppy dog eyes so she found herself agreeing. It would be nice if they could stay in this isolated world with just the two of them for a little bit longer, they would have to face reality soon enough she thought.

"So we can either go for energetic or something more sedate, what do you feel like?" he asked.

"Energetic huh?" she repeated with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh no," he quickly said once he realized exactly what she was getting at. "I didn't mean that kind of energetic. I meant outdoors energetic."

"That's a shame, it might have been fun" she said. He wasn't sure if she was just yanking his chain, after all she had all but run out on him that morning because she was embarrassed. That peculiar mixture of boldness and reserve was part of the reason why he found her so fascinating.

"I've got a bunch of toys up here; kayaks, jet skis, blow karts and cycles," he said listing the options of activities.

"I think that the water activities are out, I didn't pack a swimsuit," she explained.

"I think that I've mentioned before that I wouldn't be offended if you decided to skinny dip." He knew that he had made a faux pas as soon as the words had left his mouth. Her face stiffened at the reminder of the last time he had invited her here to the Hamptons, the time when he had ended going with his ex-wife instead. "How about blow karting then? There's enough wind today to get up a decent speed," he rushed on to change the subject.

"What exactly is blow karting?" she asked.

"Well imaging a kart with a big sail attached to it, it's a cross between karting and windsurfing. The best time to do it is at low tide, because the kart runs best over the firmer wet sand," he explained. "Alexis and I race each other up and down the beach every time we come up here. You could use it as practice for go karting so that you can try to your revenge on me at next year's race."

"There will be no try about it, I will be whipping your ass in that race. You had an unfair advantage this time, you've obviously had a lot more experience than me but next year I'll be prepared. Ok show me these blow karts then," she agreed.

* * *

They spent the rest of morning racing each other down the beach until the tide turned and forced them to call it a day. There had been a couple of times when she had almost tipped over, her slight weight making it more difficult to counter the force of the wind on the sail but that had just added to the enjoyment as far as she was concerned. They had packed up the karts and were trying to decide on where to go for lunch.

Kate was looking over the flyers for various local eateries, there was rosy glow on her cheeks partly from the wind and partly from the ongoing buzz of their racing. Several tendrils of hair had come loose from the bun which she had put her hair up into and he reached over to brush it behind her ear. She automatically jerked back from his touch.

"Sorry, I didn't meant to startle you," he apologized. He wished that he could make her more comfortable. It wasn't just the chance for sex that he was interested in, it was all the other smaller but equally intimate touches that he wanted. To be able to squeeze her hand to show his support when she was stressed from hard day at work, or a pat on the back to celebrate some small victory.

She sent out a vibe that meant that others didn't often invade her personal space. Even with their friendship, he had touched her only a few times in the past. And those occasions were usually when her walls had been so battered by some emotional upheaval that she was able to accept physical comfort.

"No, it's just because your fingers were so cold," she lied, trying to excuse her reaction.

He wasn't fooled by that but decided to let it go. "How about this pizza place then?" he said to change the topic. "They make this great blue cheese, pear and walnut pizza, not traditional I know, but it tastes amazing."

"Sounds good, let me just go and grab my phone."

He watched her run up the stairs to the bedrooms, contemplating what his next move should be. He was waging a war to win her heart and knew when to concede in the minor skirmishes. He felt like the whole pattern of their relationship had been like a dance, one where he was forever trying to pull her in, but she would only let him get so close before she spun away again. He didn't know how he was going to overcome that, he only knew that he had to try. He wasn't going to sit on the side lines anymore and watch her go off with some other guy, even if he ended up with his heart broken he was going to take his shot.

* * *

He pulled up to the curb in front of her apartment, yesterday he had done exactly the same thing. It was amazing to think how much had changed in just one day.

"So thanks for this weekend," she said. "I had a nice time."

"You're welcome and so did I ," he replied.

Then there was an awkward pause as they both sat there silent. She was reluctant to end their little holiday from reality. He sat frozen with indecision; should he kiss her goodnight? Would she let him kiss her, here in public? Shit, he thought, what if she's sitting there expecting me to and I'm sitting over here like a deer caught in the headlights? Too late, she'd already opened the door and was half out of the car by the time he was leaning over.

"So I'll see you at work then," she said glancing back at him.

"Until tomorrow," he agreed, he was mentally slapping himself. Not smooth, not smooth at all, he thought as he watched her enter her building. You would think that he'd never been on a date before the way he was acting. But then none of those other women had ever been as important to him as Kate was and he'd never been so uncertain of the outcome.

**A/N There's a lot more internal commentary in this chapter. I felt that I need to explain exactly why they were both behaving the way that they are. They might have jumped into bed quickly but it's not going to be all sunshine and butterflies in the future. They still have issues to work out.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. To Kie Santiago, I know what you mean, I'd love it if Beckett wasn't so emotionally constipated and would just accept the fact that they love each other but she just won't behave. I can't seem to control her.  
**

Chapter 11

Beckett sat at her desk doing paperwork. She was a little anxious about how he was going to behave at work today. It wasn't like she expected him to be walking around with a big neon sign flashing 'I've seen Beckett naked' but there were lots of other things that might give them away.

"Good morning Beckett," he greeted her with deliberate casualness as he deposited a cup of coffee in front of her. "What are we doing today?" His face was completely bland, no hint of a smirk or leer at all.

"The building surveillance tapes for the Cooper case should be arriving soon so I need to go over them and then I'm due to testify in court at eleven thirty," she said.

"Isn't Ryan the resident video expert?" he asked, looking around the room for the other detective.

"Yeah, he would normally be doing this," she agreed, "but he's on leave today. He had to do some wedding preparation stuff with Jenny."

"Ok let's get started then," he said.

They spent a frustrating two hours going over the film. It was a commercial building and there were a lot of people going through the lobby area, unfortunately none of them looked like their suspect. She felt like her eyes were going to explode she was so tired of concentrating on the screen. But it wasn't just the lack of progress on the case that was starting to get on her nerves, it was also Castle.

It wasn't what he was doing that was the problem, but rather what he wasn't doing. He sat a respectable distance away from her, concentrating on his own screen. There hadn't been any cocky grins and he hadn't made any smart remarks. In other words he wasn't behaving like himself at all.

Finally she couldn't take it any more. She surreptitiously looked around to make sure that there wasn't anyone close enough to overhear them. "Stop it," she hissed at him.

"Stop what?" he asked, totally perplexed.

"You're behaving too well," she explained, it was something that she'd never thought that she would ever accuse him of. "You haven't smirked, or made a stupid remark or suggested some crazy theory all morning. People will notice. Just behave more like yourself."

"Ok," he agreed, "but just remember that you asked for it the next time you get irritated with me for saying or doing something stupid."

She just rolled her eyes, she knew she was going to regret say it, he'd probably take it as permission to act even more like a nine year old. She glanced down at her watch, it was eleven. "I've got to go now if I want to make it to court in time. Can you keep looking over the rest of the film?"

"Sure. Shall I meet you there for lunch when you're finished?" he asked. "There's that Italian deli nearby which is quite good

"Yeah, I should be done by twelve thirty. I'm in courtroom five and I'll text you if I'm running late.

* * *

She'd done well in the witness box and she knew it. The defense had tried to cast doubt on her recall of the how the suspect had acted when she had taken him into custody. She hadn't let their questions sway her testimony at all and the jury seemed convinced by her confident manner. She had just finished chatting to the assistant DA in the hall way when she heard someone calling out her name.

"Kate!"

She looked around trying to spot the person. It was easy to do, because even though there was a bit of crowd, he towered over most of the others. She considered whether or not she could pretend that she hadn't seen him and just make a run for it but unfortunately he'd made his way to her side by now.

"Hi Kate." When she didn't immediately reply, he added, "It's Jack, we met last Friday. Do you remember me?"

"Of course, hi Jack," she said. Of course she remembered him, she'd practically been dirty dancing with him only a week ago at the night club whilst drunk. Not her finest moment but unfortunately not one that she could forget. Although he had been nice enough, it was her own behavior that she regretted.

"I was hoping to run into you at some stage. I didn't get your number the other night or else I would have called you. I did consider asking some of the court clerks which precinct you worked out of so I could track you down, but I didn't think that stalking you would be a good idea, what with you being a cop and all," he admitted.

She laughed, "Probably not a good idea. I'd hate to have to shoot you."

"But now that you're here do you fancy grabbing a bite to eat for lunch?" he asked.

"Sorry, I'm actually meeting a friend for lunch," she excused herself.

He seemed disappointed but was gracious about it. "How about a rain-check on it then? Here's my card. If you find that you have some spare time then maybe we could catch up for a drink or a meal?" he said handing over the small white rectangle to her.

She made some non-committal sound and slipped the card in her pocket to be polite. "Sure. Well I had better run now," she said and made her escape.

* * *

Castle had finally found the courtroom that Beckett was meant to be in, he had been wandering around completely lost for ten minutes. Geographically challenged would the politically correct term to describe him. He wondered if there was a GPS phone app that would work inside a building, he could just imagine the female, slightly mechanical voice that would go with it, "At the next corridor turn left."

He spotted Kate's familiar profile up ahead, unfortunately he also recognized the good looking guy standing next to her. It was that prick that she had been dancing with at the club, what was he doing here? He saw the other guy hand her a card which she put into her pocket. Shit, he thought as he ducked back around the corner. What should he do? Castle knew what he wanted to do, that was simple. He wanted to go over there and stake his territory, Kate was his, that was what his ego was shouting at him. Unfortunately though, he knew he had no right to go over there and act the jealous boyfriend. They weren't exclusive and if she wanted to go out with that other guy then she could.

He peaked around the corner again to see what she was up to and nearly collided with her as she rounded the same spot. "Careful," she said, her hands coming to steady him so they didn't both fall back. "You need to look where you're going Castle," she cautioned him.

"Sorry, guess I must have been distracted," he said but didn't mention what he'd been distracted by. Castle looked around, fortunately the other guy had already left. "Are you ready for lunch then?"

"Yeah, I'm starving, let's go," she said.

* * *

Castle looked at his chicken, brie and cranberry roll without interest. Kate was already tucking into her food but hunger took second place to his curiosity and his jealousy. He was dying to know what Kate had said to that other guy and he was wondering how he could fish for that information without her suspecting anything.

"So how did court go today? Did anything interesting happen?" he asked nonchalantly.

She interrupted her eating briefly to reply, "No, it was pretty standard stuff."

"So any plans for this week at all?" he tried a different tack.

"Apart from work, no other plans," she replied.

"So you're not going out anywhere then?" he said.

"Isn't that what I just said?" she looked at him suspiciously. "Why are you asking?"

Castle was secretly pleased, it meant that she hadn't organized a date with what's-his-name. Of course she still had his card, but at least for now she hadn't arranged to see him again. "I was wondering if you might like to catch a movie and then dinner tomorrow night?" he asked.

"No way, it's far too much like a date in public," she said, vetoing his idea firmly. But she relented slightly at his disappointed look, "but maybe you could come over to my place for a DVD and takeaways."

"How about we do it at my place instead?" he bargained. "My DVD selection is larger, and you only seem to have those boring foreign films that make you read the subtitles, not enough sex or explosions."

"You can bring your own DVD if you want, but I am not coming over to your apartment. I think it's best if Alexis and Martha don't know about us for now."

He was disappointed by her answer, he hated lying to his daughter in particular. Although he had been careful to shelter Alexis from his love life in the past, he had hoped that it could be different with Kate. He was hoping to share every little part of his life with her, and that included his family. But no amount of arguing could budge her and he finally gave in.

They headed back to the police station after lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon taking statements from their victim's work mates. Ken Cooper apparently hadn't been a particular nice man and none of his co-workers were mourning his death. Castle had gone to get some candy from the vending machine as Beckett continued to write up her notes.

Damn, she thought as her pen ran out. She looked around her desk for a replacement but her spares had gone missing. It was probably Esposito again, he was forever mislaying his own pens and pinching hers. She checked in her pockets to see if she had one there but only came up with Jack's card. She looked at it for a second, there wasn't really any point in keeping it. She knew that she wouldn't call him. She was dating Castle, she'd slept with Castle and even though he had said that she could, it just felt wrong to go out on a date with another man at the same time. She crumpled it and threw it into the bin.

He caught sight of something white disappearing into the trash as he came back to her desk. He thought he knew what it might be, he hoped it was the business card that what's-his-name had given her but he couldn't see enough of it in the bin to confirm his suspicions.

"Ok, I've had enough for today," she declared. "Do you want a ride home Castle?"

"That would be great," he accepted. "Let me just get my things." He slipped his coat on but deliberately left his phone on the seat. He waited until they were almost in the elevator before pretending to pat down his pockets. "Sorry, I've left my phone behind. I'll just run back to get it and meet you downstairs in the car-park."

As soon as she was out of view he started rummaging around in her trash can until he found the card. Yes, he thought, doing a little leap and fist pump into the air. The other cops who were still around gave him some very odd looks at that. They were use to him doing some strange things but searching around in the trash like some homeless person and then looking so happy about it was weird, even for him.

He was too happy to care about what other people thought of him. Kate had kicked the other guy to the curb, she had chosen him, that was all that mattered. That deserved a little celebration in his opinion, he wondered if he could convince her to stop off for some cookies and cream ice cream on the way home. He went to join her at the car, feeling a lot more optimistic about exactly where their relationship was headed.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Just some fluff this chapter, I needed to get away from the doom and gloom that's happening around the world. To the reviewers, I'm glad that you enjoyed the trash can scene in the last chapter, I enjoyed writing it.  
**

Chapter 12

Castle stood in front of his mirror contemplating the two shirts he held up in front of him.

"So you must really like this woman," Alexis said as she came up behind him.

He gave a high pitched squeal as he jerked in surprise. "Please stop doing that. What if I had a heart attack and left you an orphan?"

Alexis pondered this for a second. "Well for one thing I wouldn't be an orphan, but it would mean that I would probably have to go and live with Mom so I promise not to surprise you like that again. But back to my original topic, this mystery date of yours, who is she?"

"I never said that I was going on a date," he denied.

"Come on Dad, you've spent the last fifteen minutes trying to pick a shirt. It's obvious that you're trying to impress someone," she said. "I would hate to think that you'd waste this much effort on some poker game or book reading."

"I'm not going out on a date. I'm meeting with the screen writer who's adapting Heat Wave into a movie," he lied. He'd always tried to be truthful with Alexis, and he hated lying to her but he'd promised Kate that not even his family would know.

Alexis still looked skeptical, he wasn't as good at spinning a tale in real life as he was in his books. "I don't believe it, not unless that screen writer is an attractive woman," she said. He kept silent, knowing that any further protests on his part would only fuel her belief even more. After a few minutes of this Alexis conceded. "Fine, don't tell me who she is then. And you should go with the dark blue shirt, it brings out your eyes."

"Thanks pumpkin," he leant over to kiss her on the top of her head. "Now scoot, I need to get ready for my meeting," he said as he ushered her out of the bedroom.

* * *

Twenty minutes later showered, fragrant and clean shaven he came down the stairs to find his mother on the sofa.

"Hot date tonight Richard?" Martha asked.

"Have you and Alexis been talking about me?" he said suspiciously, they had been known to gang up on him at times, especially when they thought that it was for his own good.

"No darling, we haven't. But any woman over the age of fifteen would only need to take one look at you to know that you're dressed up for a date. And I might add that you're not looking too shabby, you get that from my side of the family you know."

"Thank you Mother, for the compliment. And now I am leaving for my business meeting," he stressed the last two words. He had decided to maintain consistency by sticking to the lie that he'd told Alexis.

Martha studied the closed door for a minute after he'd left. She'd never seen her son so nervous before a date before. Not even when he'd been in his teens. Maybe she should go and talk with Alexis after all, they could pool their resources to find out more about this mystery woman who had Richard tied up in knots.

* * *

Kate stood wrapped in only a towel as she stared at her wardrobe. She'd been procrastinating for the last twenty minutes, undecided about what to wear and he was due to arrive in another fifteen. She bit her bottom lip as she surveyed her options. There was the halter neck burgundy dress which was suitable for a date, but the problem was that they weren't really going out as such. They were spending the night in with DVDs and takeaways. She felt stupid dressing up to spend the night in her own apartment. It would be so much easier if she knew what he was wearing, so she could dress at the appropriate level. In the end she decided to go for comfortable jeans and a stretchy red top.

He arrived on time, bearing a bag of food in one hand and a bag of DVDs in the other. As soon as she opened the door she realized that she'd made the wrong decision. He was wearing a button down shirt and jacket that wouldn't have looked out of place in a fancy restaurant. "Wow, you look nice," she said.

"So do you," he said with absolute sincerity. Even in an old pair of jeans and a top, with her face completely bare of makeup, she was still one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. She could make a burlap sack look like haute couture.

She blushed slightly, not sure how to reply to his compliment, she felt like an absolute slob standing there next to him. "Here let me take that," she said as she grabbed the food from him, it gave herself something to do. "I'll grab us some plates. Do you want to eat at the table or in front of the TV?"

"I think in front of the TV would be nice," he said going for the casual option to put her at ease. He slipped his jacket off, laying it over the back of a chair and rolled his sleeves up to mid-forearm level.

"Can I offer you a drink?" she asked as he joined her in the kitchen.

"I'll take a beer if you've got some."

She grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed one over to him. They both served themselves from the selection of takeaway boxes before taking their full plates and drinks into the lounge.

"So tonight I thought we would have an homage to great heist movies," he said holding up the two DVDs that he'd brought with him. "The Usual Suspects and Heat."

"I don't think that I've seen either one of those," she admitted.

"Sacrilege," he proclaimed. "These films should be made compulsory viewing in school. But we'll correct this sad gap in your education tonight. Sit back, make yourself comfortable and be prepared to get taken for a ride." He slipped the first disc into the player.

They started out sitting a slight distance apart as they ate their food but by half way through the first movie she was nestled into his side, his arm over her shoulders. She wasn't quite sure how they ended up like that but it felt so natural that she didn't question it too closely. The movie was as good as he'd claimed, the twists and turns kept her engaged throughout and she would never have been able to predict the ending it was so unexpected.

"Kevin Spacey was so good. The plot for 'The Usual Suspects' works because he's able to carry off the role of the disabled guy so well," she said.

"Yeah, I love him in this movie," Castle agreed. "He won a best supporting actor Oscar for it in fact."

She got up off the couch to deal with the dirty plates and empty bottles while he changed the discs over.

"Another beer?" she called out to him from the kitchen.

"Yes, please."

She carried two fresh bottles out to the lounge. The opening credits were just playing and he was seated back on the couch. Kate didn't even think twice as she lifted his arm and put it back down over her shoulder so that she could sit next to him. He smiled as she wriggled slightly, getting into a comfortable position to enjoy the next movie.

De Niro and Pacino were both masters of their craft and the movie made the most of their abilities. In fact 'Heat' was one of his favorite movies, but tonight he found it difficult to concentrate on the wonderful script and dialogue. The warm body next to his was too distracting. He took advantage of his position fully; one hand massaging the muscles of her neck and shoulder, his other hand stroking her arm, leaning in to smell her hair and kiss her temple. They were friendly touches, not meant to incite passion but comfort.

Kate was all but purring with contentment, if she was any more relaxed she'd have slid off the couch, she was that boneless. She didn't think that she had ever been so unguarded around anyone else before, it was a combination of feeling safe, comfortable and wanted.

Despite the action happening on the screen she found herself drifting off into realms of Morpheus. It was the change in her breathing that alerted Castle to the fact that she'd fallen asleep. He glanced at his watch, it was only ten o'clock and she was out for the count. It would do her good to have an early night, he knew how often her job pulled her out of bed at all hours.

Carefully he swung her around so that she lying down on the couch, a cushion positioned under her head. He slipped her shoes off but decided not to remove any of her clothing, it would give his body too many ideas. He wandered into her bedroom and grabbed the blankets, carrying them back to the lounge and covered her.

He sat there for a few minutes just watching her sleep, Alexis claimed that it was creepy when he had done it to her but he didn't think it was. The gift of being able to watch over someone when they are completely defenseless made him feel like a guardian angel, a very protective and nurturing role. She looked so peaceful that he couldn't resist taking a photo of it on his phone.

Finally he got up, he found a note pad by her home phone and left a little note. 'Hope your dreams were peaceful, we'll watch the ending of Heat together another time.' He turned off all the lights and let himself out, the lock on her front door clicking into place behind him.

* * *

Alexis and Martha were both in the lounge when he came home. "So what did my two favorite redheads get up to tonight?" he asked them.

"Oh nothing much, apart from conspiring against you," Alexis answered.

"Should I be concerned?" he said.

"Well that depends on whether or not you tell us the truth about where you were tonight Richard," said his mother.

"I told you it was just a business meeting, pretty boring in fact, I almost fell asleep," he lied.

He could tell that neither of them was convinced.

"Please, as if we were stupid enough to believe that," Martha snorted.

"Ok Dad, if you want to do it the hard way, that's up to you." Alexis added. She changed her voice to a cartoony evil tone, "We have ways of making you talk."

He just shook his head and smiled. He would love to be able to tell them exactly where he'd been and who he'd been with. The evening had gone better than he had planned, his intention had been to show Kate another side of being in a relationship with him. It wasn't all flash and heat but also comfortable quiet times. He was so happy that he was practically bursting with the need to share his joy but he couldn't, not until Kate was comfortable enough for them to go public.

"Well, I'll just leave you to your evil plans then," he said, "I'm off to bed."

"I don't think I've ever seen Dad so happy before," Alexis said once the two women were alone again.

"Yes he's practically bouncing with it," Martha agreed. "I hope that this woman deserves him."

"Oh Grams, you don't think he's going to get hurt do you?" Alexis asked anxiously.

"I hope not, but when you care about someone that much, then it's always a risk."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

They had been dating now for 3 months and it was going so well. They got to see each other an average of two or three times a week outside of work. He felt like he had made some real inroads into scaling her walls; she readily accepted his hugs and touches now, they talked freely about their pasts and their future aspirations, and the sex was still terrific.

Somehow they had even managed to keep it all a secret, his family knew he was seeing someone but not specifically Kate, and none of their friends had any clue. Sure there were some frustrations associated with that. They didn't go out a lot, staying mainly at her place, and at work he had to remember to keep a certain distance from her, not calling her Kate or accidentally touch her. But those frustrations were worth it, in the long term he knew that she would eventually be willing for them to come out to their friends and family.

In the meantime though he was wondering what an appropriate three month anniversary present would be. He knew that most people wouldn't even think that three months was a big deal, but given the fact that a year ago he'd thought that he would never have the chance to be in this position, three months was like getting to see the view from Mt Everest. Maybe some jewellery he thought, although she didn't usually wear much, just her father's watch and her mother's ring on a chain.

The other difficulty apart from picking the right gift would be getting her to accept it. Little gifts, like flowers, were acceptable but she'd already made him return the iPod that he had gotten for her when he'd found out that she didn't have one. How she could go running without music, he couldn't understand.

Her birthday was coming up in eleven days time, maybe he could sneak an extra present in under the guise of her birthday present being a two-parter. Although technically by then, the present would be for their three month and eleventh day anniversary.

Beckett looked up from where she was crouched by the dead body to the man standing next to her. "Castle!" she said his name again, louder this time to get his attention.

He startled, realizing that she must have said something to him before that he'd missed. "Sorry I was daydreaming," he apologized.

"Well now that I've interrupted your snoozing Sleeping Beauty, would you mind handing me a pair of gloves from over there," she indicated the box sitting where the CSU techs had set up a work station. What was up with Rick, she thought? He'd been behaving oddly even by his standards. Normally a case like this, a body dressed up in clown suit and found in a red mini, would have him buzzing with excitement but he seemed to barely even notice his surroundings.

He was up to something. She'd seen him corner Lanie earlier and they'd been whispering something that she hadn't been standing close enough to hear. Her suspicions were confirmed when she came up to him while he was talking to Ryan and Esposito, all three men going suddenly silent as soon as she joined them. "What's up guys?" she asked.

"Nothing," they all claimed.

"I think that I might go take go take some statements from the doorman who found the body," said Ryan.

"I'll just go and give him a hand with that," Esposito added. The two male detectives quickly made their excuses to escape her penetrating gaze. She turned her focus solely onto Castle.

"So are you going to tell me what you girls were gossiping about? I felt like I was interrupting your dolls' tea party just now," she said.

"Really it was nothing, just telling some off color jokes, things that guys do all the time," he said with a shrug of his shoulders. He squirmed a bit as she continued to stare at him, but refused to say anything more.

"Don't think that this is the last that you'll be hearing of it," she warned him. "I know that you're up to something and I will make you confess." She walked away to the car, there was no point hounding him any further at the moment. It was obviously a big secret and she would need her big guns in order to extract it from him, but she needed a bit of privacy for that.

* * *

Castle glanced at Kate again, maybe she'd forgotten about the threat that she'd made earlier. She hadn't referred to it again all morning or even when they'd stopped at the café for lunch. He knew that he was hoping in vain, she was just biding her time, waiting for the right moment to pounce. The suspense was keeping him on tenterhooks.

She looked up to find him staring at her. "Can you make a copy of these reports for me please?" she asked him, handing him a pile of papers.

"Yeah, sure," he said obligingly.

Kate looked down to hide her smile, she had already made her own little visit to the copier earlier while Rick had been making coffee in order to empty out the paper tray.

He placed the reports in the appropriate slot and pressed the start button and was confronted with a red light and error message. He opened the paper tray and confirmed that the machine was right, there was no paper left, before he walked over to the supply room. He'd just opened the door when he felt a hand on his back pushing him in and then the door locked.

"What the hell," he said, spinning around in confusion to see Kate right behind him. "If you wanted to spend time with me, you should have just said something, no need to hijack me," he joked.

"So are you ready to tell me what the big secret is?" she asked. "Are you planning something for my birthday?" It was less than a fortnight away and she had a feeling that he was organizing something for it even though she had told him that she didn't want any fuss. "Don't make me hurt you," she threatened him.

He mimed zipping his lips shut, turning the lock and dropping the key into his pocket.

"Ok, you really leave me no choice then," she said as she advanced on him.

He backed up as far as he could go, his shoulders hit the shelves preventing him from going any further.

"Do you remember the last time that I cuffed you?" she asked, her voice dropping into a sexy whisper.

There had been several occasions when she'd had to restrain him but he knew exactly which one she was referring to. It was the time she'd found him with a gun in his hand, standing over a dead body. Not the best way for them to reunite after he'd taken off for the summer.

"You had your hands behind your back and you were completely under my control," she recalled.

"Yes," his voice came out like a little squeak.

"And then I took you back to the station and sat you down in that chair in the interrogation room," she continued. "Do you know how turned on I was that day? I wanted to rip your shirt off." Her hands came up to his chest to slip the buttons free on his shirt and stroke over his chest, pinching one his nipples lightly.

"What would you have done if I had kissed you then?" she demonstrated, pulling his head down so their lips met. Her tongue dueled with his briefly before she moved her mouth over to his neck where his carotid pulse was beating rapidly. She licked at it quickly before sucking on it lightly, she was careful to avoid leaving any visible mark.

His hands had moved to pull her up more firmly against him as he ground his hips against her. The picture that she was painting was so vivid he could see the beige walls of the interrogation room and the dark green shirt that she had been wearing that day.

"If it had just been the two of us, if Ryan, Esposito and the Captain hadn't been watching through the mirror, I would have straddled your lap. It would have been so good to feel you pressing up against me there, and you wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. You would have just had to sit there and let me do whatever I wanted to do to you. Like this," her hand grabbed him through his pants.

He could barely think, caught between the fantasy that she'd been spinning and the feel of her hand massaging his cock, so at first her next words didn't make any sense.

"So Rick, are you going to tell me what the big secret is?" she whispered against his ear.

His mind had finally caught up but speech was still beyond him. His tongue felt like it was plastered to the roof of his mouth. He could feel his will weakening, he shook his head mutely while he still could.

"Too bad. I think I should get back to work now," she removed her hand from him and took a step back. Not a single hair was out of place and she looked completely unaffected by what they had been doing. She looked down pointedly at his groin. "I think you should stay in here for a bit longer," she said as she unlocked the door and then she left.

His whole body sagged in disappointment, he almost crumpled at the knees. She hadn't really just done that, had she he thought? As a new interrogation technique, he could testify to how persuasive it was, he'd barely been able to hold out. Fortunately he was pretty sure that he was the only one that she'd be trying it on with anytime in the near future.

He spent another fifteen minutes in the supply room, straightening his clothes out and thinking about cold showers, wet socks and ugly men with hairy backs, anything hideous enough to distract his thoughts from Kate Beckett and her evil ways. Even then he wasn't quite ready to leave yet but unfortunately Officer Thompson had chosen that moment to grab some more plastic evidence bags.

"Oh, hi. I was just getting some more …" Castle turned to look at the first thing on the shelf next to him. "Staples," he finished off. "Yes, can't staple those reports together if you don't have any staples," he grabbed a box of them and discreetly took his jacket off to cover his front. He skirted around the cop to get to the door and left a very bemused looking Thompson alone in the supply room.

He looked around until he spotted Kate, she was sitting back at her desk and he went to join her. He sat down in his chair and dropped his jacket on his lap.

She looked at where his jacket lay for a second before she glanced up at him, her lips twitched slightly as if she was trying to stop herself from smiling. "You've been gone for a while. Did you get caught up doing something?" she asked him innocently, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

He leant in towards her so that only she would hear what he said. "Not a bad ploy," he admitted begrudgingly. "But unfortunately for you, I have a will of steel, it will take more than that little stunt to break me. And just remember Kate, payback is a bitch. I'm coming over to your place tonight and you could try that again if you like, but somehow I think that you'll find there will be a very different outcome," he promised.

As a threat it wasn't very effective because she was looking forward to finding out exactly what he meant by it.

**A/N: Ok so Beckett is a little out of character, I don't really think that she would do anything like that at work but it was so much fun I couldn't resist. Don't feel too bad for him though Castle will definitely get his own back soon.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

It was two days before Kate's birthday and despite everything that she had tried to get him to break he had managed to keep the secret from her. She had certainly gotten very creative in her methods, he recalled that memorable evening at her place after she'd caught him in the supply closet. She must do a lot of yoga in order to get that flexible he thought.

But now it was time to set the events unrolling after all the planning that he had done. It wasn't her birthday yet but he had deliberately chosen this day because she was less likely to be on her guard, it was the equivalent of the pre-dawn ambush, hitting the enemy when they were least prepared.

* * *

Beckett was just settling into the bath for a good long soak when her phone rang. She could tell it was Castle, even before she picked the phone up from the cabinet where it lay that. His distinctive ring tone (which he'd programmed himself into her phone) was the theme from the Batman series back in the seventies. She wasn't expecting a call from him tonight though, he was meant to be spending a father-daughter evening with Alexis playing laser tag.

"Rick, you're interrupting my bubble bath here," she said without preamble. She could practically hear him swallowing his tongue down the other end of the line.

There was a pause before he said anything. "Sorry, I was just picturing that in full high definition," he said. "Kate, can you please come over to my place?"

"What's going on Rick?" she asked.

"Well I'm kind of stuck and I can't get unstuck without some help."

"What about Alexis or Martha, isn't one of them home, surely they could give you a hand getting unstuck?"

"Actually both of them are out at the moment," he explained. "Alexis ditched me to go to the movies with Ashley, and Mother is out for dinner with her friends. Besides even if they were here I don't think I would ask them anyway, it's kind of delicate."

She tried to imagine exactly what kind of situation he could have gotten himself into that he would be too embarrassed to ask his daughter or mother to help him with. Knowing Rick though, the possibilities were endless. "Ok, I know that I will probably regret asking this, but what have you done Rick?" she said.

"I handcuffed myself to my bed," he admitted sheepishly.

"And ….." she prompted, there had to be more than that, after all she already knew about the time he had gotten Alexis to duct tape him to a chair in order to do research for a book. Being handcuffed to a bed was almost pedestrian for him.

"Well I might be naked as well," he said.

"I see," she said calmly, as if being handcuffed naked to a bed was a perfectly normal thing to do. "And exactly how were you planning on getting out of that?"

"I have the keys, but then I accidentally dropped them and now they're under the bed and I can't reach them. I was lucky that my phone was within reach."

She couldn't help the laughter that escaped her, only Rick could get himself into a situation like this. When she could finally control her mirth she said, "Rick, why would you handcuff yourself naked to your bed?"

"Would you believe it was research for my next book? You know that Nikki is kind of slutty."

"Try again," she said.

"Ok, it's all your fault actually," he admitted. "I was thinking about what you said that day in the supply room, about getting turned on that time you had me in cuffs. And it got me a bit excited. So I ….. you know."

Any urge she had to laugh suddenly vanished. It was a little weird to know that he had been fantasizing about her as he touched himself but also a little bit flattering, and yes, hot as well she admitted to herself.

"So are you going to come over to help me out, or are you just going to mock me?" he asked.

"Ok, I'll be over soon. But I warn you I might take a few photos to post on your facebook account before I uncuff you," she said before she hung up on him.

* * *

She let herself into his loft with the spare key that he had given her as an emergency backup in case he ever locked himself out. She was surprised to find it so dark in the apartment as she entered and ran her hand up the wall next to the door, searching for the light switch. "Hey Rick, it's me," she called out to him.

"Surprise!" dozens of voices shouted out at her as all the lights in the lounge flicked on. She looked at all the familiar faces gathered there, Rick's was front and foremost. "But it's not my birthday for another 2 days," she protested.

"That's exactly why we chose to do it today. Happy birthday eve eve," Rick said as he gave her a kiss on the cheek, he wanted to plant one on her beautiful mouth but he knew that she wouldn't appreciate it in front of everyone.

"My turn," Lanie said as she nudged Castle out of the way so that she could hug Kate. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks Lanie," she squeezed her back before Montgomery, Esposito and then Ryan took their turns to hug her. "So this is what you guys were whispering about that day. I knew you were all up to something."

"Yeah, it was all Castle's doing," Ryan confessed. "So if anyone is trouble it has to be him."

"Thanks all of you," she said as she took in all the preparations that had gone into the evening; the decorations, the food and the presents in the corner. "You all look really nice as well, I feel distinctly underdressed," she said as she compared her t-shirt and jeans to the finery her friends were dressed in.

"Don't worry, I planned for that as well," said Rick. "Can't have you looking like the help at your own party. Lanie snuck some clothes out of your apartment, they're waiting upstairs in the guest bathroom for you Cinderella."

"I'm thinking about taking that spare key to my apartment away from you. You obviously can't be trusted," Kate said, looking at her friend.

"Don't give me any of that rubbish. Girl you know that you're secretly happy about this party. Don't pretend that you're not," Lanie waved off Kate's attempt at fake anger. "Now go upstairs, and get changed so that this party can really get started.

* * *

Rick waited five minutes and checked to make sure that all the guests were distracted before he snuck upstairs to find her. She was half undressed when he stepped into the bathroom.

"Rick, get out of here before someone notices," Kate whispered anxiously.

"Don't worry, Lanie started challenging people to tequila shots, so they're all busy at the moment, no-one will miss me," he reassured her.

"How did you even get in here?" she asked. "I'm sure that I locked that door.

He gave her his naughty little boy grin. "Well that's what happens when you own a place, you get a key to everything there. And I always find that the most interesting things are behind locked doors."

"No, we can't do that now. You have a house full of people downstairs, including your daughter and mother, and my father I might add," Kate said as she tried to slap his hands away from her body.

"Well in that case we'd better make it quick then. Don't worry I'll still make it good for you," he promised as he managed to divest her of her bra and jeans despite her interference. "But you have to promise to keep it quiet, you know how loud you can get when you come."

"I feel like it's my birthday, look at these presents I've managed to uncover," he said as he looked down at her breasts. He bent down and latched onto one of her nipples, the wet sucking sound he made as he licked at it was quickly destroying her will to resist.

"No, don't," she gave one last half hearted attempt to stop him.

"Hmmm, tastes better than birthday cake," he said as he moved from her breasts to her mouth. "So no bed in here, what do you think we should do instead?" he pretended to contemplate their options. "I think we might do this." He spun her around so that she was facing away from him, her hands reached out automatically to brace herself against the vanity as he pressed her forward causing her to arched her back and push her ass towards him. He put one leg between hers, forcing her to spread them slightly.

His hand slipped between her thighs, testing her readiness. He found that she was already wet, the slick moisture coating his finger as it thrust into her. He slid another one in, stretching her even more. Her hips jerked rhythmically as she rode his hand, impatient mewling sounds coming from her mouth. "Sssssh," he cautioned her. "Remember there are people around. Someone might hear you."

She bit her lip, trying to prevent herself from crying out. She had never thought of herself as an exhibitionist but the risk of them being discovered added an extra spice to the sex, and she found that she enjoyed it.

He suddenly took his fingers away and fished a condom out of his wallet. Once sheathed, he took his cock in hand and guided it into place. The first hard thrust lifted her up onto her toes, she gave a moan at the sensation. She straightened her arms so she could brace herself more firmly, pushing her ass back in time to meet his thrusts. She could feel her body starting to tense when he suddenly stop.

"Do you remember how you teased me in that supply closet?" he asked. "Now it's my turn for revenge." He half pulled out of her

Her eyes flew open at his words and she looked up so she could meet his gaze in the mirror. Surely he wasn't going to leave now. She made an embarrassing moaning, pleading sound at the loss of his cock inside her. She tried to push back further to keep him there but his hands on her hips prevented her from moving. He was smiling as she squirmed in frustration, keeping her like that for thirty seconds before he suddenly thrust in again. The feel of his cock plowing back into her was enough to make her come hard, so hard she forgot the need to keep quiet. Fortunately he still had enough presence of mind to cover her mouth with one of his hands, muffling her scream.

They both slumped forward in the aftermath, his body a warm weight upon hers. "Happy birthday," he finally said as he placed a gentle kiss upon her shoulder.

"Wow, that was quite some present," she said as they both started to get dressed again.

"Actually I have another present for you as well," he said, fumbling around in his pockets.

"Rick, I don't think that we really have time for a repeat performance," she joked.

"No, I meant this," he said. He gave her a flat rectangular jeweller's box. "Go on, please open it," he said when he saw that she was hesitating.

She blinked as she took in the large black pearl on a gold chain nestled on the velvet lining of the box. "Rick…."

"It's an anniversary present, you can't give it back," he said quickly.

"It's not a birthday present? What anniversary was this? Did I miss something?" she asked confused.

"Well we have been officially dating for three months now, and I wanted to give you this because you've made me so happy," he said. "And if you give me any crap about not accepting it then I'll just slip it into the pile of birthday presents downstairs. That way you'll have to open it in front of everyone else and then there's no handing it back."

She knew when she was being manipulated, but he was doing it out of good intentions so she graciously acceded. "Thank you, it's lovely," she planted a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I knew that you wouldn't be comfortable accepting a gift like this from just a 'friend' so I wanted to give this to you privately," he explained as he looped the chained around her neck and did the clasp. They both admired it for a second before she slipped it under her top, the chain was long enough that it wouldn't be visible to anyone else.

"Ok, you head back first. I'll see you down there in a few minutes," she said kissing him again before pushing him out the door.

**A/N: The tequila reference is Kie Santiago who thought that they need a tequila night. And sorry to Leep, I know that I condensed their 3 months down to a sentence but I was running out of fluff to say. This story will be wrapping up soon, maybe another 2 or 3 chapters.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Castle snuck back downstairs but his return wasn't as unobserved as he thought. Martha had been looking for him for the last few minutes. Her son was a naturally extroverted person, and it wasn't like him to not be right in the thick of things, especially when he was the host of the party. When Kate appeared a few minutes later it confirmed Martha's suspicions, he was watching her with undisguised worship as she came down the stairs.

So Kate Beckett was the mystery woman that Richard had been seeing these last few months. Martha was pleased for him, she knew how her son felt about the detective. It had been obvious for quite some time now, even when both of them had been seeing other people. Why they had kept their relationship secret for so long she didn't understand but for once she decided not to interfere. Love was a mysterious thing and as long as their romance was blooming she would keep her nose out of it.

* * *

Castle tried to circulate amongst all the guests, making polite small talk but he found that he was always gravitating towards Kate. She was like the sun, pulling him into orbit around her. He tried not to be too obvious about it for her sake but he just naturally wanted to be by her side.

"Great party Castle," Lanie complimented him. "How did you manage to get Kate here without her suspecting anything?"

Kate blushed slightly at the memory of the ruse that he had used.

"Well I told her that I was handcuffed and needed her help to get free," he answered, fortunately he left out the part about claiming to be naked at the same time.

"And you believed that Beckett?" Esposito said with disbelief as he looked at her.

"Well I have found myself handcuffed quite a few times over the last couple of years, although normally Beckett is the one doing it. I think she must enjoy it," Castle said with a slight hint of innuendo.

She blushed even more, going a bright fire-engine red as she recalled the fantasy that she'd told him about in the supply room. Fortunately Lanie and Esposito didn't know exactly what Castle was referring to, they just thought that she was embarrassed about being gullible enough to believe the lie he'd told to get her to the party.

"I think that I would enjoy taping your mouth shut even more. And if you're not careful I might just start now," Kate warned him. Rick just grinned, they both knew it was an idle threat.

Lanie decided to take pity on her friend who was looking increasingly embarrassed, and changed the topic. "So I hear that the Heat Wave movie is coming out soon, it must be pretty good publicity for you Castle."

"Yeah, they are flying me out to the premier in LA next week. Having a movie adaptation always tends to pump up the book sales for a while," Castle said.

"Gosh it must be tough being you," Esposito said with false pity. "Being flown around the country to hang out with young starlets. If I was single and surrounded by all those beautiful women I'd find it hard to cope." When he caught the glare that Lanie was sending him, he quickly added, "But fortunately I'm happily taken with the most beautiful woman in the world." Esposito threw an arm around Lanie and pulled her closer.

Castle watched their friends as Lanie went up on to tip toes to kiss him and he envied Esposito. He didn't envy him Lanie, although she was an attractive woman, what he envied was the openness of their affection. The public claiming of the other person; the kisses, hugs and holding hands that Lanie and Esposito no longer tried to hide. He looked at Kate out of the corner of his eye and wondered if they were ready to be in that position yet. After all they have been together for three months now, surely by now she was confident enough in their relationship that they didn't have to hide any more? He knew that here and now was not the right place to have that conversation but they did need to talk about it soon.

His thoughts were interrupted by Alexis calling everyone to attention as she pushed the birthday cake over to Kate on a kitchen trolley. Everyone burst into a spontaneous rendition of Happy Birthday with a lot of enthusiasm. Kate was embarrassed to find herself the center of attention again.

"Speech! Speech!" someone shouted out.

"Thank you all for coming tonight. I am truly blessed to have you in my life," Kate said with sincerity. She turned to face Rick. "And thanks Castle, for organizing this, even though I said I didn't want any fuss," she teased him.

She looked at the candles covering the cake, she didn't have to think about what she wanted to wish for. She was happy with her life; she loved her job, she had great friends and she had Rick, her wish was to have many more days like this.

* * *

Rick had insisted on seeing Kate to the door at the end of the night. She was the last one to leave. "How about you stay the night here?" he asked as they waited out the front for her cab.

"No I can't Rick, Alexis and Martha are here."

"Ok, but will you come up to the Hamptons with me next weekend? Just the two of us," he promised.

"Sure that would be nice. Goodnight then"

He leant in to kiss her and was surprised when she only gave him a quick peck on the cheek, but then he saw her looking at the cab driver. This was ridiculous he thought. It was bad enough that they had to watch how they acted in front of their friends and family but now he had to curtail his actions in front of random strangers as well. What did she think would happen if they went public? Sure they'd be teased a bit by their friends, especially Lanie, but that would soon blow over. How terrible could it be?

She'd already gotten into the cab and all he could do was say goodnight as the cab pulled away. He watched until it had disappeared down the street. He hoped that he could convince her that their relationship was ready for the next stage.

* * *

They had driven up to the beach house early on the Saturday morning and after brunch had decided to go for a walk along the beach. The weather was a bit overcast and the wind had a bite to it but Kate found that she didn't mind it because it meant they had the beach to themselves. Other less hardy souls had probably retired to the nearest coffee shop or stayed inside their houses. So the only other people that they came across all morning were an elderly couple out walking their dog.

She struck up a conversation with them as the dog had convinced Rick to join him in a game of fetch. "I'm sorry about him," she apologized to them. "He's like a kid at times, if you need to go then just call your dog over, Rick won't take offence." She watched him trying to tug the stick away from the dog before throwing it down the beach.

"No, it's fine," the lady assured her. "Ace has a lot of energy, he likes making new friends and we like it when those new friends help tire him out for us."

"Funny you should say that, because I was hoping that your dog would help tire Rick out for me," Beckett laughed.

"My name is Moira and this is my husband Tim."

"Nice to meet you both, my name's Kate."

"So I take it that your husband is a dog person then. You can either be a dog person or a cat person but you can't be both," Tim said.

"Oh no, he's not my husband," Beckett automatically corrected him.

"I'm so sorry, I meant your boyfriend," Tim rushed to apologize.

Beckett didn't bother to correct him this time because to be honest she really wasn't sure what label she could use for Rick now. She hadn't wanted to examine too closely exactly what they were doing, so any time Rick had brought it up before she'd always changed the subject.

They weren't just friends or work colleagues, she didn't sleep with her friends. They were dating, they slept together and for her part, she wasn't seeing anyone else and she assumed that he wasn't either. Didn't that make him her boyfriend in all but name? She decided that it was just easier to let the older couple assume what they would. Fortunately Castle and Ace had decided to rejoin them by this stage, the dog looking decidedly less energetic than it had fifteen minutes ago. They all chatted for a few minutes before Moira and Tim excused themselves and continued down the beach in the opposite direction.

She was still thinking about it when they returned to the house.

"You've been awfully quiet this morning. Is something wrong?" Rick asked.

"I was just thinking about a comment that that old man made today," she said. " He called you my boyfriend. Are you my boyfriend?"

He'd been wondering how to bring up the conversation and here she was, beating him to the punch line.

"I certainly want to be, is that what you want?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes, I think it is."

He couldn't believe it had been that simple. He'd worried about exactly how this conversation would go and here she was practically handing it to him on a platter. He was so relieved and that emotion showed in the fierceness of the hug that he gave her. "You don't know how happy I am that you said that," he told her. "I've been thinking about this since the night of your party. I wanted to tell everyone there that night that we were together, it was so frustrating pretending to be just friends."

"Hey I thought that we just agreed that you're my boyfriend, not that we would shout it out from the roof top," she said as she pulled back from him slightly.

He was confused, it felt like they were both talking to each other but having completely different conversations. "But I thought that's what you meant. If you are my girlfriend then I want to acknowledge that to the world. What did you think it meant?"

Kate shook her head. "Can't we just acknowledge it to each other, after all we are the only people affected by it. This whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing I just thought it meant that we only want to be with each other, that we're exclusive."

"What do you think it is that we've been doing for the last 3 months then?" he asked. "Was it just a fling before? Were we friends with benefits, something to help you get over Josh? And what would be so terrible about letting the world know that we are a couple?"

He was bombarding her with questions and she couldn't keep up, so she just seized on his last one. "It's just that you are famous and you have this reputation Rick," she tried to explain. "I don't want to find myself on page six of the paper, and we work together so it would be unprofessional."

He noted that she hadn't denied his first few accusations, maybe it had just been about scratching an itch for her. "Kate, I can't control the press and that part of my life isn't going to go away. Does that mean that we're going to keep hiding from the world forever? As for us working together, you've dated co-workers before," he said, referring to Demming. "You weren't concerned about professionalism when you where kissing him at the station. All these objections and concerns you have, they seem to boil down to one thing, you're embarrassed to be with me. I'm good enough to have an affair with but not good enough to be seen in public with."

Kate could feel herself getting angry, it was her automatic response when she was put on the defensive. His words had some truth to them, but they weren't the whole truth. She wasn't embarrassed about being with him, she was afraid that he would eventually find her wanting. He was a rich, good looking, famous author, he was used to being with beautiful flashy women who fitted into that world, look at Meredith, Gina and that actress Ellie Munroe. She didn't fit that mold and one day he might realize that, she didn't want to deal with pity from the world as well the pain of rejection if he ended it. "It's easy for you. You're a playboy, your reputation won't take a hit from this, in fact you'll probably get a pat on the back for getting another notch on your belt," she lashed back at him.

He couldn't believe that she thought he was like that. Weren't they past all that posturing by now? "If you really think that then we should call it quits now. I've tried to meet you more than half way in this relationship but maybe I've been wasting my time on something that is clearly not worth it."

He felt completely shattered, it was beyond just pain. While she had been having rebound sex he had been falling in love. He walked away from her before either one of them could say something else that would destroy what remained of their friendship, forever.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

"Richard darling I thought that you were away this weekend," Martha greeted him as he shuffled in the door.

"Yeah, well something didn't work out so I came back early," he said.

Martha took in his appearance, he looked absolutely miserable, he lacked the lively spark that was his trademark. "Did you and Kate have an argument?" she guessed.

"Why would you say that?" he hedged.

"When a man looks as miserable as you do, it's either because of a woman or because he's lost all his money. And given how healthy your bank balance is, I think it's fair to say that it must be over a woman."

"Kate and I are just friends," he thought how bitterly true that statement was now.

"As much as you would like to think it, I am not a fool," Martha said with exasperation. "I know that Kate is the mystery woman that you've been dating."

He wasn't sure how she'd managed to find that out but it made no difference now. "Ok, yes I was dating Kate but we just broke up."

"Oh Richard, what stupid thing have you done now?"

He was stung to think that his own mother would assume that he was the one at fault. "I didn't do anything except fall in love but for Kate it was just a physical thing."

Martha just shook her head, he might be surrounded by women all the time but it was obvious that her son didn't understand them at all. It was clear to her, and to anyone who had been around the pair of them for longer than five minutes that Kate cared for him. "I don't believe it," she said.

"Well it's true," he insisted. "She was happy to sleep with me, but not to be seen with me. That's why we have been sneaking around all this time. That's what we fought about. We both ended up saying some pretty hurtful things."

"I'm so sorry for you darling," she hugged him tightly. He might be a grown man but he was still her son and she wished there was a way that she could take all his pain away. "We all say things that we regret sometimes. I think that Kate is probably feeling just as bad as you are at the moment. Maybe you should give her a bit of time, I know that the two of you can work it out."

As her thin arms held him securely, he wished he was five years old again and could believe that everything his mother said was true.

* * *

Kate sat at her desk writing up her report, the noise of the other cops around her filled the bull pen, which was normal. She took a sip from the cup of coffee that sat beside her keyboard, nothing unusual there. What was wrong was the empty chair next to her, his chair.

She hadn't seen him for three days now, he hadn't come into the station yesterday and it didn't look like he was going to show up today either.

"Yo Beckett," Esposito called out to her from his desk. "Castle called for you earlier, said he couldn't get through on your mobile. He's going to be away for the week, said something about flying out to LA a few days earlier to do some promotional work for the movie."

"Thanks," she said as if it was no big deal. She looked down at her phone, no missed calls or voice messages. So he was avoiding her, she tried not to feel hurt by that. As bad as it had been when they were fighting, his absence was even worse. A hundred times a day she found herself automatically looking for him, wanting to share some thought that had crossed her mind. It astounded her how much she had come to rely on his presence.

Let him have his little temper tantrum she thought, anger starting to edge the hurt out. She'd let him stew for a few days, but if he didn't get his butt back here where it belonged then she'd go and find him and kick it for him. He had promised her when they had started all this that he wouldn't disappear if it didn't work out, and she fully intended to make him honor it.

* * *

Kate tried to keep busy, staying late at work even though it wasn't necessary and filling her spare time with activities. It helped to keep her mind off him. To that end she was meeting up with Lanie for brunch on Saturday morning. She'd already spotted her sitting in their usual booth and made her way over, almost colliding with a middle aged man who had obviously just finished his own meal and had gotten up out of his seat to leave.

"Sorry," she said as they both did that dance that people do when they are trying to get out of each other's way. She stepped closer to his vacated chair to allow him to get past her, it was then she noticed the paper that he had left discarded on the table. It was Rick, or at least his picture. At first all she noticed was his smiling face but then she saw the beautiful woman in the picture with him, their arms linked.

It felt like someone had punched her in the sternum, it was so hard to get a breath in. She picked up the paper to take a better look. 'Writer cozies up to leading lady. Life imitating art?' read the headline. The blurb went on to describe how Natalie Rhodes, who was playing the character of Nikki Heat, had been accompanied to the premier by Richard Castle, the writer and real life basis for Jameson Rook, Heat's romantic interest in the movie.

Kate was still holding the paper as she stumbled into the seat opposite Lanie.

"Are you ok Kate? You look terrible," Lanie asked with concern.

Kate didn't say anything, she just showed her the newspaper article. It didn't take Lanie long to read the print. She knew that Kate had feelings for Castle, even if she didn't know about their relationship.

"I'm sure that it's more innocent than the story implies. You know how they like to sensationalize things, it sells more papers. If you believed everything that was printed then Britney Spears has been pregnant like twenty times," she said, trying to comfort Kate. "Look it will all blow over. When he gets back you should jump that boy, hell you should have done it ages ago."

"Funny thing is that I did," Kate confessed. "I mean I did jump him, months ago in fact." She wasn't sure why she was telling Lanie about it now, maybe it was because she needed to tell at least one other person, someone who could tell her what she needed to do to fix it.

Lanie was dumbfounded by the revelation. "So you guys are dating, and he's cheating on you? I'll shoot the bastard myself," she offered.

"No, we were dating but we broke up on the weekend. He's a free agent, he can do what he wants. I just wasn't expecting him to do it this soon though," Kate explained.

"What you guys have been dating for months, and you've broken up and I'm only finding out about it now," Lanie spluttered. But then she quickly apologized, her duty as a friend winning out over her curiosity to find out all the details. "Sorry, ignore that. How are you holding up and is there anything that I can do to help?"

"I feel like crap," Kate admitted, "I didn't know that anything could ever hurt me this much." It was like the cork had been popped off a bottle of champagne, a torrent of words just came flooding out of her. Even though Lanie wasn't probing, Kate found herself recounting exactly what had happened between her and Rick for Lanie's benefit, only editing out the more intimate details.

"The worst part is that when we were fighting, I didn't tell him the truth, he still thinks that I was ashamed to be with him," Kate said.

"Well maybe that's where you need to start then," Lanie suggested. "When he gets back, tell him the truth, tell him that you were just feeling insecure, and tell him that you love him." Kate hadn't said the actual words but Lanie could read between the lines. They had been friends for a long time and she knew that with Kate, she showed how she felt about someone in her actions, not with her words. Everything that Kate had told her about the last few months with Castle confirmed that her friend was definitely in love with the man.

"I'm not sure that I love him," Kate denied it, even to herself. "I know that I care about him. And what if I go chasing after him and he's already moved on? Maybe it would be best to just leave things be, break things off before I do fall in love. We might still be able to salvage our friendship out of this whole debacle."

Lanie smiled compassionately at her friend, she knew that it was going to be hard on Kate to admit to these feelings that she'd been repressing for years. "Kate, you need to ask yourself what is more important to you. Keeping your pride or keeping Castle?"

* * *

That night Kate sat alone in her apartment trying to decide what to do. Talking to Lanie had helped but she still hadn't made up her mind. Her fingers played with the pearl that he had given her as her thoughts kept circling around and around until she got sick of the inaction.

She grabbed her phone and called him, she still wasn't sure what she was going to do but she knew that she needed to see him. It went straight to voice mail, it hurt to hear his familiar phone message, she'd been starving for the sound of his voice this whole week. She tried his home number as well and got Alexis on the line.

"Hi this is Alexis," the teenager answered the phone.

"Hi Alexis, this is Kate, is your Dad at home please?"

"No sorry, he's flying back tonight though and his ride should have picked him up from the airport by now. Is it something important? Can I take a message?" Alexis offered.

"No, it's not important. Can you please ask him to call me once he gets in?" she said.

"Sure thing," Alexis promised before they both hung up.

The agitation was getting to her, Kate decided that she couldn't sit still for any longer. Maybe she should go to the gym, some exercise might help her clear her head. With that goal in mind she changed into a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie and grabbed her gym bag with her boxing gloves, ready to vent her frustrations on a hapless punching bag.

She opened her front door and was surprised to be confronted with the man who'd been on her mind for the last few days. Rick lowered his fist, he'd just been about to knock on her door when she'd opened it. She took in the suitcase that was by his side, he'd clearly come straight from the airport.

"Hi…" they both said at the same time.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

They both stared at each other, uncertain exactly where to start.

"Sorry, I should have called before I came over," he apologized. "Are you headed out?" he looked at the bag that she had with her and the keys in her hand.

"No, it's fine. I wasn't going anywhere important."

There was another awkward pause.

"Can I come in?" he finally asked.

"Sure, come in," she said, taking a step back so he could get past her. "So how was your trip to LA?" She could have slapped herself for that inane remark. With all the stuff going on between them, she was making polite small talk. Way to go Kate, she mocked herself.

"It was fine, I guess you might have seen it in the paper or something?" he said.

Until he'd brought it up, she momentarily forgotten about the picture that she'd seen of him with the actress. It stung as badly as the first time she'd seen it. "Yeah, you looked good on the red carpet," she said nonchalantly. She made no mention of the woman he'd been photographed with, but he knew which picture she was referring to.

"About that, I want to explain," he said quickly.

"Don't worry about it. There's nothing to explain, you're a free agent, you can see who you want." She could feel herself getting angry at the thought of him with another woman although she made sure that none of this showed on her face or in her voice.

Her words made his stomach drop, he would have even preferred her to be angry and yelling at him, at least that way he'd know that she felt something. Her casualness seemed to imply that she'd already dismissed him, she just didn't care. "I know I don't have to but I want to," he pushed on anyway. "Paula, my agent, organized for me to go the premier with Natalie. It was purely a publicity thing, nothing happened," he assured her.

He looked so earnest about it that she knew he was telling the truth, he wasn't that good a liar. She felt like the lump that had been stuck in her throat was melting away. Up until she'd seen standing in her doorway she'd been uncertain about what she was going to do. But now, standing here in front of him, she knew that there had really only been one option all along. She couldn't live with herself if she didn't take the risk, hell she wouldn't want to live if she let this chance go by.

"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time.

She placed her finger over his lips to silence him, she wanted to get this out before she lost her nerve completely. "Please let me go first," she begged.

He could see how wound up she was, so he just silently nodded.

"I'm sorry for so many things," she reiterated. "I didn't mean those things that I said to you. None of those things are true. I'm sorry that I hurt you by accusing you of being a playboy. I'm sorry that you thought I was ashamed of you, it couldn't be any further from the truth. You are an amazing guy and any woman would be proud to have you in their life. And I am sorry that I let you believe that this relationship was anything less than it was, you weren't a rebound affair, it was never just sex for me."

She paused for a second, gathering her courage for the hardest bit. "The truth is that I love you Richard Castle." Surprising it wasn't trepidation that she felt as she waited for his response, it was relief. Being able to acknowledge her feelings to him and to herself felt like she had unburdened herself of a huge secret.

"You can say something now," she told him when he continued to keep silent.

He was completely blown away by her. He'd come over here tonight to try and beg his way back into her life, afraid that she might kick him out of her life permanently. Instead she'd freely said those three little words he'd been afraid he might never hear from her. To know that she loved him made her apology unnecessary, he would forgive her anything as long as she loved him.

"I love you Kate." That pretty much summed it up for him; forgiveness, acceptance, gratitude all rolled up into one simple sentence.

His hands came up to cup her face, holding her still for his bruising kiss and she revelled in his intensity.

She'd experienced many different emotions before when they had made love, but nothing like this. Sometimes it had been joy and laughter, he could be a comediene even in bed. Other times it could be frustration as he teased her to the very brink only to hold off again. And then there were the times when it had been raw need and lust, the sex was down and dirty.

If she had to pick a word to describe how she felt tonight it would be desperation. She was desperate for him, they had come close to losing this and she wanted to reaffirm all that they were to each other. She wanted to imprint her body on his so that he would never forget.

Her hands tore impatiently at his pants, trying to get to bare skin. He must have felt some of her desperation himself because he was picking her up, her legs automatically winding around his hips, to carry her to the bedroom. There was none of their usual foreplay, no finesse or teasing. Despite that, she was more than ready for him. They were still half dressed and had barely made it onto the bed before he was thrusting into her.

Her hips rose to meet his as he pistoned in and out of her, going hard and deep each time. She knew that she would be sore tomorrow but she didn't care because it felt so good.

"Look at me Kate," he commanded, his voice harsh with his exertions. "I want to see your eyes when you come." She struggled to obey him, it felt almost too intimate, too raw after what they had admitted to each other tonight. But somehow she managed it, she was staring at his beautiful blue eyes as her body shook and her inner muscles clamped down on him. "I love you," he cried out as he peaked at the same time, his body slumping so that he was a dead weight above her.

Afterwards he pulled her in so that they lay spooning each other.

"Wow, that was amazing," he said. "Do you think that make up sex will always be that good between us?"

She elbowed him lightly. "Don't even think about picking another fight with me to find out," she warned him. "Just remember that I sleep with a gun."

He laughed softly in her ear and she knew that they were going to be ok.

* * *

Kate sat at her desk pretending to work while she waited for Rick to show up at the station. He'd gone back to his apartment this morning to drop off his bags before coming into work. Although they had made up last night, they hadn't actually talked about going public with their relationship, the very thing that had sparked their argument in the first place.

He walked in carrying two cups of coffee and placed one in front of her. "Good morning Beckett," he greeted her, as he had on hundreds of other mornings.

She smiled as she stood up and took the other cup from him as well, putting it down on her desk before she grabbed his shirt front to pull him closer. And then she kissed him; tongue and lips, the works, not holding back at all and it was a good minute before she surfaced for air, pulling back slightly so she could see his face.

She kept her gazed fixed on him, she didn't need to look around the room to know that Ryan, Esposito and the other cops would be staring at the pair of them in stunned surprise.

"I think that they all know now," he whispered to her.

"Good," she said, and then, just in case anybody had missed it the first time, she pulled him in again for another kiss.

"Wow," he said in a louder voice so that the whole room could hear. "If that's what I get for bringing you a coffee, I can't wait to see what you do when I bring in donuts as well."

She just laughed and rolled her eyes at him, trust Rick to say exactly the right thing.

The End

**A/N: Thanks to all you readers who made it to the end. Your kind reviews certainly spurred me on to write. I'm taking a bit of a break before I attempt another story, I need to get some inspiration. If anyone has any ideas for a starting point for the next one then drop me a line.**


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