Naruto 1. Chapter 1

_**FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE TOO LAZY TO READ MY AUTHORS NOTE(yes, I know you're out there) READ THIS: PRIOR TO READING THIS CHAPTER OPEN A YOUTUBE VIDEO WITH THE SONG Whispers in the Dark by Skillet AND LISTEN TO THE SONG AS YOU READ THIS CHAPTER  
TRUST ME, THE COMBINATION IS AWESOME**_

**Hello my readers, **

**This is a story of loneliness and the hope that somehow there is something, somewhere, that can conquer that.  
Actually this is about a belief in something. The belief in true love. **

**Cause it's damn well out there and we have to fight for it  
So keep reading and learn the story of how two hearts find a love that fills their holes, overcomes their fears and helps them to grow into more than they ever believed they could be.**

**xoxo **  
**Rose**

**Whispers in the Dark**

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She stood at the edge of the darkened road, head bowed, tears running down her cheeks. _Why_, she thought, _why does this always have to happen?_

The storm around her roared and a gust of wind blew the falling sleet up to nip at her face. With a shiver the young woman stepped further back into the feeble protection of the bus stop shelter. _Why_, she thought as she pulled her hood further over her face and wiped at the hot tears that stubbornly continued to spill. _Why am I always the one who ends up alone?_

She held herself stiff and straight for a moment, trembling all over, before she collapsed onto the bench and folded herself forward; giving herself over to the tidal wave of pain she lost herself in her sobs. "Why", she gasped, "why am I _never_ good enough? Why do I _always_ fail? Why does no one ever _want _me? Why do I let myself care? Why Kami _why_? Why do I _always_ have to be _alone_?"

"Why!" She shrieked into her knees and the wind shrieked with her, "Why why _why_!" Wrenching sobs tore through her and she melted in on herself, "I just want to be loved." she whispered finally. "Please Kami, if there's _someone_ out there who will love me with all his heart...who will fill this _hole_, who I can _love_, who can make forget being left behind, being so lonely...send him to me. Please...I don't want to be alone anymore."

The sky blackened even more above her and the clouds seethed as the winds howls grew exponentially until it seemed like the noise would pierce the stormy ceiling, until her corner of the universe was so filled the emotion, the sound, the _moment_ that the very air screamed with the stress as _something_ reached its breaking point.

She closed her eyes in exhaustion and a tear, full of weary loneliness and broken hope, welled along her thick pink lashes, "please..."

The tear fell.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Well Hello Again!**

**Happy to see you here. It means you want to know what happens next :)  
Which is excellent to know because so do I! **

**I want to give a monstrous sized THANK YOU to the following reviewers who gave me the desire to keep writing this story. These wonderful people would be ****Yoi no Chi, Air Angel32, Gaaras1Girl, and QuietShadowz. Thank you so much you four! Your reviews meant so much :)**

**In this chapter I'm giving you a little taste of our other lead in this story. I hope you like him, I certainly do. **

**xoxo  
Rose**

**Whispers in the Dark**

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"Are you...well?"

"Hmmmm?..." she thought through the muggy haze that filled her head; when...when had she fallen asleep?

The raspy, resonant voice spoke again, "Are you well?"

She blinked her heavy lids and tilted her head up towards the source of the voice. "Hmm?" she hummed sleepily. She vaguely registered a broad swath of woven maroon a few inches from her nose. _Why is that there? Wait...that's a hand so that must be...a sleeve? _She shook her head in confusion and sat up slowly.

"Are you well?" the soft, masculine voice asked again.

She finally turned to look into the face of the inquiring stranger sitting next to her; "Yes I'm..." she choked on her words as she met his eyes, eyes that were much closer to hers than she had initially thought. They glowed pale blue in the quickly darkening night around peculiar four pointed pupils and were surrounded by thick black rings. They were terrifying, terribly sad, tired eyes...but they seemed to smile at her, stealing her breath away. "...fine..."

His brow creased a little above his eyes. "You lie." he reprimanded.

She drew a hissing breath through her teeth and reared back from the man sitting next to her. "Excuse me!" she sputtered squeakily, "You don't! I don't! How dare! I don't even! You rude assuming! I've never! Who _are _you?"

He chuckled at her confused and furious stammering before stopping the sound abruptly, his eyes widening in a way that looked almost as if he were startled.

"I _said_, who are you?"

He blinked and seemed to come back to himself at her words, "...I am Gaara."

The irritated young woman rotated on the damp metal bench so that she fully faced the frustrating man. She took a good, hard, angry, look at him...and felt some of her aggravation fade into embarrassment as she took in just _who_ it was she was sitting next to. Because the man next to her, well it was one _sexy _man.

He was soaked to the bone from the earlier rain and through the blood red hair that clung to his damp alabaster skin were the strangely pointed tips of his ears. His chiseled face wore an excited, hungry expression that made her shiver and look away, sending her gaze towards the rest of his body where she quickly took in the straight back and muscular shoulders that shifted enticingly underneath the thin cotton shirt that covered the length of his arms all the way down to his strong corded hands. Sitting, he, _Gaara _she thought, his name giving a little thrrrumm inside her mind, didn't look much taller than her but there was something about him that clearly said _power_. It was intimidating as hell and the feeling combined with his exotic and bizarre appearance to make him all the more dahm captivating.

The cross female sat straighter and threw back her hood, causing waves of tangled petal pink hair to spill out, trying to recall the feelings of ire she had felt a moment ago _before _they were swept away in a wave of attraction. "Ok then _Gaara_." she said with as must ice as she could muster, "Where the _hell _do you get idea that you have the right to accuse me of lying? You know nothing, _nothing_ about me, so please tell me where you get the _gall_ to say anything like that to me?"

Gaara looked back at her solemnly and she resisted the urge to squirm under his unwavering gaze. "I know," he said, his voice quiet and commanding, "that you cannot be 'fine'. If you were 'fine' your wish would not have been able to call me here."

She stared at him and tried to remember how to breathe, "What...what are you talking about..."

Her attempts to acquire oxygen were sabotaged as Gaara bored his strange eyes even deeper into hers. In her peripheral vision she saw the beams of headlights approaching from behind her.

He leaned in closer to her stiff and immobile form and brushed a finger against her cheek, wiping away a tear she hadn't realized was there, "You aren't alone anymore." he whispered in her ear.

The sound of shrieking brakes tore through the moment and she whipped her head to the side to see the brightly lit bus pulling up beside the shelter. The old, portly bus driver opened the door and called down to her, "You comin' sweetheart?"

She snapped her head back to where Gaara was sitting. "What..."

Gaara was gone.

She stared at the empty space in a daze...he had been sitting there just a second ago...she had felt his breath on her ear...felt his finger against her cheek. She moved a shaky hand to touch her face but instead looked down in shock when she felt something scratch the inside of her wrist.

A white rose lay in her lap.

"You comin' or not?"

The girl stood unsteadily and hefted her bag onto her shoulder, holding the rose carefully in her left hand. She turned and climbed the steps onto the bus but stopped at the top step and leaned in towards where the old driver sat. "Sir," she asked tentatively, "did you see anyone else on the bench?"

The elderly man looked back at her; his white, pillowy face wrinkled in concern, "No sweetheart," he said, "you were the only one there."

The young woman felt a wave of dizziness wash over her and her cheeks paled, "Thank you..." she mumbled before hurrying away and settling into a seat. Pushing her wet hair out of her eyes, the young woman looked back though the window at the empty shelter as the bus pulled noisily away. Unconsciously her thumb began to stroke over the velvet petals of the rose.

_What just happened?_

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**Review if you can. It gives my world a rosy glow. ^.^**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again!**

**This chapter is here now thanks to the help of one of my favorite people EVER Gaaras1Girl. So thank you dear :)**

**Obviously Sakura has issues. These will be better understood later on.  
So read on and enjoy!**

**xoxo  
Rose**

**Whispers in the Dark**

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The pink haired girl trudged through the puddles that covered the road between the bus stop and her house. Inside her mind she kept replaying what had happened over the past hour, the memories flickering like an old movie across the backs of her eyes. Waiting in the bus shelter and crying because...her body convulsed, rejecting the thoughts and the grief they brought...And then there had been that weird storm while she cried. She figured she must have blacked out for a minute because she didn't remember ever having fallen asleep...and then there had been _Gaara._

She still couldn't understand how he had known about her wish. If there had been no storm _maybe_ he could have heard what she had choked out through the tears but the storm, combined with the distance he must have stood away so that she hadn't seen him, would have made it completely impossible for him to have heard her words. That was..._if he was human_...

The young woman shook her head firmly. _Try to be sensible now Sakura_, she told herself. _The bus driver didn't even see him and there was no way he could have heard you but that doesn't make him a monster, in fact_- she stopped in the middle of the street she had just turned onto as her mind came to its worrying conclusion, _he probably wasn't real at all... _

"Oh that's just great." She looked up and told the stormy ceiling of grey clouds, "_Now_I'm hallucinating! And I'm hallucinating about arguing with hot red heads! With weird eyes and pointy ears! What does that say about me huh? It say's 'well Sakura you're just a freak but everyone knows it already _anyway_'." She kicked viciously at an innocent rock, sending it into a sludge filled pothole across the road. "Urg, could this day_ get_any worse?" Sakura looked back down at the rose she still held in her hand. If Gaara had been a hallucination then she had to have picked up the flower somewhere..."Oh wonderful," she muttered as she started walking again, "I probably _shoplifted_ while I was hallucinating. _Awesome_. Getting arrested for stealing a stupid flower is _exactly_ what I need right now."

Sakura stomped on through the muddy wet, grumbling under her breath, before finally coming to a stop in front of a puddle filled drive. Picking a path across the driveway towards a dark green house she tried to avoid the deepest of the small lakes that covered the concrete. Eventually she made it to the drier raised porch of the house and gratefully hurried to the dinged up door. After the day she had just lived through all she wanted was to take a hot bath and then crawl into bed and never get up again.

Sakura opened the door as quietly as possible, hoping she could make it to the bath before her family realized anyone had come in. If her mother and sister caught her before she did they would want to know _all_about her day and Sakura didn't think she had the energy to come up with a plausible alternative story so she wouldn't have to tell them...

Her body gave another shudder of repressed emotion and Sakura scolded herself internally. _Just don't think about it right now. If they hear you crying they won't leave you alone for the rest of the night._ She knew she couldn't keep the tears in forever though, their coming was inevitable, but she could hold them back until everyone was asleep.

Sakura tiptoed up the stairs to the house's second level and peeked around the corner of the wall that separated the stairway from the living room. She didn't see anyone but she could hear her family talking in the kitchen. Hoping desperately that they wouldn't walk out into the adjacent living room until _after_she'd made it into the bathroom sanctuary Sakura dashed for the bathroom door.

_Yup._ the young woman thought with satisfaction as she closed the door carefully behind her, clicking the lock closed against any invaders. _I am a ninja. _

After dropping her purse on the tiled floor and setting the rose carefully onto the counter she went straight over to the tub at the far end of the bathroom, snagging a bottle of bubble bath on the way, and started the water. Letting it run over her hand she felt the change from shockingly icy to warm and soothing. Sakura sighed in anticipation and poured a generous amount of pale purple soap into the frothing water. She set down the half empty bottle and stripped off her shirt and bra, kicking her mud covered sneakers off at the same time. She stood and wiggled out of her soggy pants and only slightly drier underwear before walking back over to the sink to grab a green hair brush off the counter.

Sakura looked into the medicine cabinet mirror and watched herself run the brush though her long, tangled, damp, mess of hair. She sighed again at the sight of herself and felt a fist tighten painfully around her heart and lungs. What Sakura saw when she looked in the mirror was something soft, pale, ugly and grotesquely scarred; a screwed up failure with red swollen eyes and undeserving of anyone's love. She _hated_ what she saw and wished for the millionth time that she could smash the glass in front of her, and every other mirror she ever came in contact with, and never have to look at herself again.

But just like every other wretched day of the past seven months the young woman held herself back and instead reached for the small towel hanging by the sink. She held the rough cotton square under the freezing tap water until it was soaked through and then rung it out and folded it into a neat rectangle. Sakura was experienced with crying, someone like her naturally was, and she knew that keeping the towel over her sore eyes while she soaked would help clear her eyeballs of the red webs that clung to them.

The white rose that lay on the counter caught her gaze again and she picked it up by its smooth green stem. Sakura looked at the blossom wistfully; it was so pure, so beautiful. She had never seen a rose so perfect and unblemished; the petals were so white it was if they were made of moonbeams and dreams.

The rose was everything she wanted to be, beautiful and unscarred and full of promise and hope. It was no wonder she'd been drawn to steal it while she was hallucinating; even now something about it filled her with an unidentifiable yearning feeling and its smell...well it was intoxicating.

Looking back at her bath Sakura saw it was almost ready for her and she started towards it before stopping, realizing that she needed to do something about the rose. The last thing she wanted was for the rose to wilt so she filled a plastic cup from the counter with water and placed it tenderly inside. Maybe she deserved the scars she had but she would be damned if any harm ever came to this flower.

Going back to the tub Sakura dipped her foot and _hummed_ in approval. The bath was perfect, the water not quiet scalding, and on the surface floated sweet smelling mounds of bubbles. She turned down the faucet handle to stop the water flow before she slid into the steaming mixture and allowed herself to revel mindlessly in the sensations of the soothing liquid heat, the cool relief of the towel over her eyes, the smooth porcelain and the brushing of her drifting hair against her skin as the foam covered water moved with the rise and fall of her chest.

She was jolted out of her mental escape when someone knocked gently on the bathroom door. "Sakura?" came her mother's muffled voice, "Are you in there honey?"

"Yes Mom!" _Who else would it be?_Sakura thought as she rolled her eyes under the cloth.

"How was your day? How did your meeting with Ms. Tsunade go?"

Sakura tensed underneath the bubbles. This was supposed to be her _safe time_ when she didn't have to think about all this! Couldn't she just leave her alone? "I'll tell you about it later Mom!"

"Are you sure?...Is everything alright in there?"

Sakura felt the fist clench around her insides again. She just wanted a moment to not feel, to not think or remember; a moment to be _anything_ but herself. But here was her mother again, wanting to _talk_. Sometimes she wished her Mom had some sort of mood reader gizmo that she could discreetly use on Sakura to find out if she was in a _talking_ mood or not. It would certainly save her a lot of agitation that was for sure...

"I'm positive Mom; everything's fine. We'll talk about it tomorrow ok-kay?" _Oh shit_, Sakura panicked silently, _my voice just cracked. Please Kami please let her not have noticed!_

"Sakura honey are you crying?" Apparently Kami wasn't listening.

"_No _Mom, really I'm fine. I just choked on some bubbles." There was that lie again. The always repeated 'I'm fine'. She felt her eyes start to prick; how she _hated_ that phrase.

"Ok, well, I'll probably be in bed when you get out so have a good sleep okay? I love you."

Sakura felt a wave of guilt rush through her. "Love you too." Her mom loved her so much and lately all Sakura could do was shut her out. The pricks ceased and instead tears began swell in her eyes for the umpteenth time that day.

The once cold towel heated up as it absorbed her silent weeping. _Well that was pointless, now I got the damn towel warm._ The exhausted young woman laughed a little before the laugh turned into a strangled sob.

"Shhhhhhhh" she felt a warm stream of air blow against her cheek, "don't cry."

"It's not like I'm trying to." she choked out. _Wait..._, the cogs in her brain clicked together, _what the..._

Sakura ripped the cloth off of her eyes and let loose a barrier shredding scream

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**Review if you would...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello readers, **

**Chapter 4, by far the longest of this story and a little different in the format in that alot of this is a sort of jumble of memories.  
Hopefully you enjoy it :)**

**Thank you for stopping by!**

**xoxo  
Rose**

**Whispers in the Dark**

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It had taken a long time for Sakura to convince her mother and sister that everything was alright. Honestly, Sakura was shocked that the two of them had allowed her to sleep alone. She hadn't really expected her arguments to convince either of them and she was proud of herself for being smart enough to not mention anything about hallucinations. They didn't need to know that she had passed out on the bus stop bench and woken to have a conversation with a man no one else saw or that the reason for her scream was that she had seen him again, knelling besides her bubble filled bath...

Oh no, they most _definitely_ did not need to know that.

It was now quite late in the night and Sakura was finally alone in her room. The small, cluttered space was quiet, dark and empty, save for herself and the white rose that glowed pale in the shadows, its petals catching the faint light from street lamps outside. The exhausted young woman lay in her bed, curled up on her side under warm blankets, looking out at the cloudy night sky through her window. Tired as she was she couldn't sleep; the day had been full of too many things to think about and Sakura knew that she _needed_ to think about them, because what else but the mental stress of the day could have caused her reoccurring hallucinations? She could only hope that once the badness within her mind had been folded neatly and put away in the back of her head, in a very tightly chained box, that the hallucinations would stop.

That was what Sakura did. When events, emotions, became too difficult to deal with she tried to separate herself from them, tried to look at them from an impenetrable glass chamber, before she locked them away as securely as she could.

Now she wrapped her mind in a tight, imaginary blanket of safety, ineffective as she knew it would be, before she closed her eyes and let the events of the day begin to play...

_Sakura stepped off of the bus and watched as its glass doors shut with a squeaking _swoosh_before it trundled away, revealing to Sakura a large brown building, her school, that sat smugly across the street. It was one of the last places she wanted to ever be again and the place she was forcing herself to attend for another wretched semester. That was why she was here today; she had to register personally with the Vice Principal because...there was no group registration day for failed Seniors. _

_She made her way towards the building and passed the proud sign bearing the words, Konoha Academy. One of the toughest schools in the country, Sakura's parents had forced her and her sisters to attend in Sakura's Sophomore year and, after a long and challenging first year that, due to a hospitalization, she wasn't quite able to finish out in person, Sakura decided to stay. _

_Her younger sister Ino had chosen to leave after that first year at the Academy and began attending the city's normal high school. By the summer before Sakura's Senior year her mother was begging her eldest daughter to do the same. She worried about Sakura on a different level than about her other children and, as much as it bothered Sakura, she understood. Any mother would worry over a child like her. _

_But Sakura had a prideful, determined streak that she couldn't ignore and when the new school year started she was back at the Academy, determined to overcome the challenge that the school presented. When offered disability extensions by the principal she turned him down. No one understood why she choose to make things as difficult as she could on herself but Sakura was sure of her decisions; she had to set the standard for herself, for her life. She wanted to prove to everyone that she could overcome anything...normal people could. _

_She wanted to prove it to herself. _

_But she hadn't; she had failed in her mission. By the end of first semester it was obvious that, no matter what she did now, there would be no way she would graduate on time. _

_Her failure haunted her. Echoes of tormenting phrases would play over and over throughout her days. Visions of being curled on the ground, surrounded by angry, disappointed, disgusted, teachers, family and peers, flashed through her mind and she sometimes she spent her lunch period hiding somewhere in the building, huddled on the ground, curled up against the dirty school floor in the same position as she was on the black floor of her mind. _

_Everyone who knew Sakura knew she had to be struggling, that there was no way she was 'fine' like she always claimed to be. But Sakura had stopped speaking of how she felt. Afraid of sounding weak, of whining, of her friends becoming tired of her, she didn't speak of how much she hated herself, of how she cried herself to sleep all the time, of how she didn't know what to do anymore, of how she felt hopeless and terrified of the future, terrified of future failures..._

_And then, at the worst time possible, the very last day of the Senior's school year, Sakura cracked and everyone in the upper school was witness to the results of her brokenness. It was the most shameful moment of her life and at the end of the year events that she forced herself to attend she was avoided by almost everyone she knew. Throughout each self inflicted ordeal she could feel the furvetive glances of her teachers and peers when they thought she wasn't looking, but Sakura made a point to act as calm and as unaffected as she could. Every time she felt the stab of disapproval from another person she cared about, the young woman reminded herself she was strong, reined in the instinct to run away, and simply smiled a bit brighter, taking solace in the special few who showed kind and unwavering support. _

_But what hurt the worst, above almost anything else, was when Vice Principal Tsunade, an adult that Sakura had looked up to as practically a parental figure and a confidant that she trusted unconditionally, saw her for the first time since her moment of shame...and looked away. She never said a word to Sakura though they came in proximity multiple times at different events. It seemed to Sakura that her role model was so ashamed of her, so tired of her constant failure, that she had given up on the pink haired girl completely. _

_It broke Sakura's heart. _

_And now here she was, walking through the doors of the one place she least wanted to be to see someone the green eyed girl wished she would never have to talk to again. Many doctors would classify this sort of behavior as masochism but, to Sakura, this was the first real step of the test that would allow her to prove to herself what she was really worth. _

_And there was one bright spot on the horizon of her day. After her appointment with Tsunade, the one the fear filled pinkette found herself now only a few steps away from, Sakura planned on going to her friend Kiba's work to surprise him. Then, since she would have already taken on one terrifying hurtle that day, she figured she might as well take on another, equally frightening challenge._

_She was going to tell Kiba of her feelings and the thought once again filled her with nervous, giddy butterflies. _

_That died the second she knocked on Tsunade's door. _

_"Come in."_

_Sakura relaxed her face, adjusting her features into a composed mask, turned the door handle and stepped in confidently. "Good afternoon Ms. Tsunade."_

_"Hello Miss Haruno." Tsunade said gruffly. She didn't look up from the papers she was shuffling and Sakura quietly seated herself in one of the chairs across the desk from the blonde woman. _

_"So," The older woman voice snapped out abruptly, finally looking up at the pink haired teenager, "What is it you needed to see me about?"_

_Sakura's expression was serene and emotionless as she looked back at her Vice Principals fierce gaze, "I wanted to discuss with you my attending the school this fall semester. I want to complete my missing credits so that I can have my diploma. I only need a few credits so it should take only the one semester."_

_Tsunade's eyebrows rose and she leaned back in her chair, examining the young woman opposite her. "And what makes you think this semester will be any different than the last three years? Why do you still want to attend our school when you still haven't shown any consistent pattern of effort?"_

_"This semester will be different Ms. Tsunade."_

_The look on Tsunade's face shifted into something Sakura couldn't read, "And why should I believe it will be different?"_

_Sakura's face stayed smooth but her twisted up hands clenched in her lap and her nails pinched frantically at any vulnerable skin. "Ms. Tsunade, you don't...experience what I've experienced these past seven months without changing. I will never allow myself to live through something like this again I assure you."_

_There was a moments silence and Sakura lowered her eyes as she waited for Tsunade's judgment. While the Vice Principal wasn't technically allowed choose whether a student was allowed to attend the school or not she was one of the greatest powers in the administration. If she didn't want to register Sakura at Konoha Academy then Sakura wouldn't be going and they both knew it. _

_"Alright." Sakura looked up from her lap at Tsunade who had begun shuffling papers again. "You'll need to make an appointment with Ms. Shizune to arrange your schedule and get your locker assignment. She's out until next week but get it done as soon as possible."_

_Sakura stood. A fine trembling had spread through her limbs but her expression remained ever regal and calm. "Thank you Ms. Tsunade. Is there anything else I need to know?"_

_"No, that should do it."_

_Sakura nodded her head respectfully. "Thank you Ms. Tsunade." She turned to exit, stumbling a little on the way there. She was in the open doorway when-_

_"And Sakura?"_

_Sakura couldn't bring herself to turn around and face the eyes she felt on her back. "Yes?"_

_"If you're having a...difficult day, you may still come to my office."_

_Sakura closed her eyes in pain, the mask of tranquility finally broken. "Thank you Ms. Tsunade but I...I don't want to have to see your...disappointment in me anymore."_

_"...I don't want to hear about you disappearing from class then."_

_Sakura felt a tear slip from between her lashes at her idols silent admission, "Don't worry, you won't."_

_And she walked away. _

_An hour later found Sakura with her knees to her chest, face pressed against dampened denim underneath a familiar tree, as the last of the sobs shook through her body. Coherent thought was just returning to her now and the exhausted girl remembered that she had had other plans for the day. With a heavy hand she pulled a thin cell phone out of her pocket and raised her head just enough to check the time. _

_**Crap, Kiba gets off of work soon; I need to get cleaned up. **_

_Sakura unfurled her limbs and reached for a large black purse that sat slumped a few feet away. She dragged the big black bag closer and began to pull out materials to make herself presentable again. An eyeshadow compact with a mirror revealed the extent of the damage. **Holy hell **__**I'm a mess**__, the girl thought, taking in her disheveled hair and tear streaked, make up smeared face._ _**Thank Kami for hobo purses and make up wipes.**_ _She quickly got to work cleaning up the disaster she had made of herself._

_A short while later Sakura emerged from under the drooping branches of the pine tree she had taken shelter underneath, fresh faced and, with the exception of a slight redness to her eyes that only made her green irises appear even brighter than usual, looking as if she could have spent the past hour wandering the mall searching for the perfect pair of heels rather than under a tree crying. She swiftly brushed the remaining dirt and pine needles off, pulled on her brown jacket against the slight bite of the wind, and set out towards the nearest sidewalk. There was a determined edge to her step and the young woman focused on reconstructing her confident and poised expression. She was going to _do_ this by thunder!_

_With that mantra in mind Sakura shaped her lips into a smile and carried herself forward down the six blocks to Kiba's work. She had hoped to be a little earlier but it wouldn't matter; she knew that he and his work buddies hung around by the loading docks talking for a while after their shift ended. She could find Kiba there._

_The forced smile took on a life of it's own at the thought of the brown haired boy. She had been attracted to Kiba ever since she first met him but it was only recently that they had become friends. Then, as she had begun to spend more time with the lighthearted young man, Sakura's feelings of mild, disconnected attraction began to grow into something different than just friendship. Every time she thought of him her stomach filled with butterflies and the sound of his voice sent tinglings of electricity through her body. _

_In fact, that sounded like his voice now. _

_Sakura hurried around the corner of a brick building towards the loading docks out back. There was a maze of semi trucks to make her way through but she could hear the men's voices already; she could hear Kiba's voice. _

_"My God Lee, we need to get you a girlfriend _fast_."_

_"Ah, but Kiba! I am far too busy with my training! Master Gai assures me that with a few more years' work I could easily win a spot on the Olympic team! A girlfriend requires tender care and attention and I have not enough to spare! But you Kiba! You are full of youthfulness! Why do you not acquire a girlfriend for yourself? I am sure with your charm and dashing good looks you could easily convince a girl to go with you on a date of youthfulness!"_

_Sakura heard Kiba moan, "And that right there Lee, is why we _need_ to get you a girlfriend."_

_"You know, he's got a point Kiba." A third voice that Sakura only vaguely recognized, spoke, "You haven't dated anyone since Hinata dumped you for Naruto. Why don't you ask out Sakura? She seems to really like you; I bet she'd say yes." _

_"Well..." Sakura was frozen behind the closest truck cab, waiting in terror for a response. How did she manage to walk in on this! "Sakura's okay...but just as a friend. If I were going to ask anyone out it would be her sister Ino but I still haven't figured out how to do that...cause it's pretty obvious Sakura likes me. She's kinda annoying honestly but I still don't want to hurt her feelings or anything you know?"_

_The unknown voice spoke again, "Nah man I feel you. That Ino chick is a hottie and Sakura's not ugly or anything but her sister definitely got the sex appeal genes in the family. _

_"Oh what a tragedy! A youthful love triangle! I can already see the broken hearts littering the ground!"_

_Kiba groaned, "Shut up Lee, seriously I don't even want to think about it."_

_"Ah but Kiba-!"_

_"You know what? I'll see you guys tomorrow. Later."_

_Sakura's muscles thawed instantly in the wave of panic that flooded through her. She stepped back and turned to run but the toe of her sneaker caught in a pothole in the ground and the desperate young woman tripped and fell, smacking her head against the black top. _

_Sakura squeaked in pain and her body automatically curled in on itself as she clutched at where the splinters of pain were stabbing through her skull. A second later she remembered where she was and shot upright, eyes wide with terror. _

_"Sakura?"_

_The horror stricken teen looked up very slowly, her emerald eyes running over the stained knees of faded jeans, along familiar grime covered hands, up a long, broad torso all the way to meet the equally horrified gaze of Kiba._

_"Sakura, did you-"_

_Sakura didn't wait for him to finish his question; she scrambled to her feet and bolted, the sound of his voice calling her name receding behind her. _

_Everything faded after that. All that existed was the pounding of her feet, the burn of the icy air in her lungs and the words that repeated inside her mind over and over and over. __**Unwanted, unwanted. Failure, not good enough, annoying, unwanted, alone. Unwanted, alone, not good enough, failure, failure**_**, failure**_**, alone, why? **_**Why**_**? Unwanted, annoying, failure, alone, alone, **_**alone**_**... **__She didn't see the purple storm clouds gathering in the sky above or see that she had run into the far outskirts of town. She didn't notice when raindrops first began to speckle against her skin, didn't realize when the gentle shower turned into pelting, frigid rain. __**Unwanted, alone, failure, not good enough**_**, never**_** good enough, why, **_**why**_**, failure, unwanted, alone, **_**always**_** alone...**_

_It wasn't until her foot caught on something unseen and she flew forward, landing on her hands and knees in the middle of an enormous puddle, that the panting girl's panicked flight was stopped. _

_Sakura didn't move from where she now knelt in the dirty water, only lifted her head and gazed at her surroundings numbly, very slowly coming back to the present. The unceasing stream of words still played on inside her mind and she fisted her hands in the mud below her, pebbles digging into her skin, shivers running through her body unnoticed. _

_Then, through the cold, she felt something hot trailing down her face and a choked sob rose up from deep in her belly, forcing its way out of her mouth. Waves more followed, deep and guttural they escaped against her will. _

_A whizzing car reminded the girl where she was and she stiffened for a second before lurching to her feet. She needed somewhere to hide; everything felt too open, too exposed. Sakura pulled her hood up over her head, her filth covered fingers scraping along her cheeks, and stumbled down the road, searching for a safe haven in the storm. _

_A few minutes later a shape rose up out of the gloom. As she approached the unknown object the outline of the thing solidified until Sakura was able to discern what it was. _

_It was a bus shelter. The perfect hiding place and a possible way home all in one. _

_Refuge from the rain-turned-sleet in sight the young woman hurried forward until she was under the edge of the metal roof. Once there Sakura looked around for the bus route number that every shelter bore to show what bus came to that shelter. Her tired green gaze landed on an ugly salmon pink number nine; it was a route that could take her home. That was good; if she had to walk home Mom and Ino-_

_A jagged blade suddenly pierced through Sakura's heart and what had become echoes in her mind began to scream again... _

The spider web cracks in Sakura's emotional barrier finally gave way and the memories stopped as she succumbed to all the feelings they brought with them. It felt as if this day had somehow released and embodied every betrayal and pain she had ever experienced. As if all the vicious words that had ever been hurled at her, all the times that she had been rejected, all the times that she had faced yet another disappointed pair of eyes, all the times she had looked into the face of someone she loved and gazed in despair at the insurmountable wall between them, all the times she had felt the burn of disapproval, all the times that she had stared back at herself and hated everything she saw there, all the times she had waited for a call that never came, all the times she had been outshone and overshadowed by everyone else, all the times she had watched from afar, too shy to reach out despite her loneliness, had compiled into one nauseating ball of pain. Sakura pulled herself in tighter under the blankets and shuddered violently, the air hissing in and out as she breathed.

And then the tears started, seeping into her hair as they trickled out of her closed eyes. She turned her head into the pillow and moaned brokenly, so tired and so mentally fried that all she wanted was for a black chasm to swallow her up so she could rest...

"Why are you crying?"

Sakura gasped and twisted around so fast she nearly fell off of the bed. Adrenaline was fizzing through her veins now and she clutched the flannel cover of her comforter as she scanned the room frantically, green eyes like lamps behind a haphazard curtain of pink hair.

A pair of glowing blue moons caught her gaze in an instant and she stared, completely transfixed.

"Why are you crying?" His voice seemed to reverberate around the room and the spell of the twin moons was broken.

Sakura dived under the blankets and squeezed her eyes shut, trying desperately to make what she had just seen go away, but the image wouldn't fade. Even as she pressed the heels of her hands against her eye lids, creating a burst of colored stars, Sakura could still see Gaara's motionless figure sitting on top of her dresser in the far corner of her room, the shape of his pointed pupils against the blue orbs of his eyes. She could see the way his scarlet hair caught the rooms muted light and the way the glow gilded the angles of his face. She could see the outline of his body, taunt and leaning forward, as if he was just keeping himself from leaping across the room to where she sat.

"Okay Sakura," the disconcerted teen whispered frantically to herself under her tent, "gotta keep it together now. He's not really there; it's just your imagination. You're going to look again and he'll be gone because-_He's. Not. Really. There_. Okay 1...2...3...4..._5!_"

Sakura lifted the blankets tentatively off of her head and peeked over the edge of them, her eyes dilated in fear. She squeaked in distress at the sight before her, at the fact that it was almost completely identical to the one she had just tried to rub from her vision. The only difference to this image was the slight crease of concern between Gaara's blue eyes.

"Oh no oh no oh no oh _no_..."

"Tell me what is wrong." His voice was quiet and gentle yet there was a demanding edge to it, as if he intended to wrest the answer from her by hook or by crook.

_Hey! Wait a minute! This is _my_ hallucination! He can't tell me what to do! I'm in charge here! Yeah! That's right! He's my hallucination so _I_can tell him what to do! Be the boss Sakura be the boss!_

Sakura pointed a trembling finger at the invader, "Stop talking you-you-you hallucination! You're a figment of my imagination and I'm...I'm commanding you to be quiet and-and disappear!"

A confused and slightly offended expression ghosted softly over Gaara's face. "What?"

Sakura scowled and shook her finger more firmly at him, "You heard me Mr. Hallucination! Go! Begone! Scat!"

Understanding dawned in Gaara's strange eyes. "You think I'm a hallucination?"

"Yeah! I do actually!"

Gaara leaned in a little more towards the irate girl, his interest clearly piqued. "Why would you think you're hallucinating?

Sakura pulled the blankets up a little more and crossed her arms over them, looking for all the world as if she thought they were some type of armor that would protect her from his avid gaze. "Well it's not the first time I've had the things before you know. None of them have been as-well, I mean, I've never seen a person before but since you come from my mind I guess you already know that anyway..."

"You've hallucinated before?"

The pink haired teen shifted uncomfortably under his unwavering stare. "Well yeah...voices and rooms and hallways and-hey wait! No no no no no no I'm not answering your questions! You're not real!"

"Why?"

She tilted her head in confusion. "Huh?"

"Why am I not real?" His voice rasped and Sakura wondered briefly why she would imagine someone who sounded like they had a cold.

"Well," she said reasonably, "the bus driver didn't see you and you disappeared way too fast to be a real person. Therefore: hallucination. It's the rational solution."

There was a long silence as Gaara studied the obstinate girl across from him. Finally, "Why would you hallucinate me?"

The light in her green lamps dimmed and she bit her lip. "I-I don't know...I don't know..." Sakura turned her head away from the stubborn hallucination when she felt moisture pool in her eyes. "Will you please go away now?" Her voice wavered and a droplet ran slowly down her cheek.

The bed suddenly shifted with new weight and something rough and warm wiped away the falling tear. The young woman went completely rigid in shock and her breath hitched in her chest.

Hot air blew across her ear and a hungry voice whispered. "_No_."

Sakura's delayed reaction finally kicked in and she shrieked, pushing blindly sideways. "_Get away!_"

Her hands connected with something solid and then other weight was gone. Sakura turned around to see Gaara crouched on the floor only a foot away, looking somewhat stunned that she had just shoved him off the bed.

The frightened young woman gaped at him before snapping her mouth shut with the click of clenching teeth. "Other side of the room. Now." Her voice shook and she hoped desperately that he would listen

Gaara scowled in what Sakura thought might be frustration and then a second later was back in the corner of her room. She blinked, startled at how fast he had moved.

_Well that proves it; he's a hallucination. No one can really move that fast. _

She didn't understand why, but the thought saddened her.

"I'm going to sleep now. You stay over there and when I wake up you'll be gone. Okay?"

Gaara stared at her silently.

"Okay then," Sakura lay down and rolled over so her back was too him, "I'll take that as a yes." Eyes closed she lifted her arm over the blankets and felt a tiny _zip_ of electricity go through her body as something pricked her arm. She reopened her eyes see what the offender was.

A red rose lay beside her hand.

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**Review if you have a moment to spare ^.^**


	5. Chapter 5

**Dearest Readers, **

**Sorry for the extreme delay in the release of this chapter! My personal and school lives have both been so unbelievably full and challenging that I've hardly any time to sit down and write in the past few months. **

**I have written alot more for this though, back story to Gaara that I needed to write to get to know him better but I can't publish until later on. The point being that I have not at all let this story go, I am actually working on the next parts already. **

******This chapter is dedicated to my best friend on this site and my biggest cheerleader Gaaras1Girl! Thank you so much for all your support and I'm SO SORRY for having been MIA for so very very long. I hope to talk to you soon :)**

**Thank you for sticking with me!**

**xoxo  
Rose**

**Whispers in the Dark**

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The light from the high, waxing moon filled the small room in which I sat and gently illuminated the face of my sleeping mate. Again, I found myself lost in her beauty and the awe that, somehow, out of all the worlds, across boundaries I didn't understand or know, _she_ was my mate.

And there she lay-so close I could hear the shallow puffs of air brush past her lax lips.

The sight of her, the way her mouth was just barely open, how her pink lashes lay against the paleness of her cheeks, the ethereal quality the rose petal color of her hair had under the moons light, held me completely entranced. Every time she rolled to face me in her restless sleep I found myself caught in her spell again. I was content to just sit, enveloped in her presence and feeling more complete than I had ever before experienced in my life.

But every time she rolled again, and I found myself facing only gently rising blankets and the tangled back of her head, the fire of frustration swelled outwards to fill my limbs and fog my brain. She was my _mate_. I felt it in the ache of my tightly crossed arms as I willed myself to not entrap her within them, could smell the fact in the intricate perfume of her blood. I felt it in the stirring of my _own_ blood as it roiled and sang in a way it never has before. And I had felt her emotions calling me when I crossed over to this place so I knew that she wanted me, needed me, as much as I needed her. So why didn't she acknowledge it? Acknowledge _me_?

One of the fire and metal machines hissed down the street below and the bright eyes of the thing filled the room with harsh light. Sharp shadows slid swiftly across everything and the shape of a rose ghosted over my skin, drawing my eyes over to its solid counterpart.

I studied the thing that I had unwittingly created. My contact with Sakura's tear had somehow triggered the birth of the fragile plant cutting but...I wasn't sure why.

I glanced back down at my hands. What other unknown powers might my deal with the goddess have bestowed? What limitations? And when my monthly payment came what-

Sakura's blankets shifted again and my attention snapped back up to her as she turned towards me once more. Questions without answers could wait until later. Right now all that mattered was the swell of her cheek, the tear trailing down it-

Wait, she was crying again?

I leapt down from my perch on the wooden chest and, crouched low, crept slowly across the floor towards her. I was unsure whether or not she was still asleep so caution seemed like the best idea, especially after her last reaction to my nearness.

Finally, only a foot away from where her head rested, I stopped, fully satisfied that Sakura was indeed asleep.

That worry assuaged I leaned in closer to her face, studying the downturn of her mouth, the clenched set of her jaw and the fresh tear tracks that shone on her skin. I was hesitant to touch her, all the days' previous experiences made me afraid to awaken her and cause only more anxiety, or possibly even hysteria, but I couldn't watch this sadness in my mate without trying to do _something_.

Slowly, agonizingly, horribly, torturously, slowly, I raised a tentative hand to carefully stroke back her hair. Her breath hitched at the contact and I froze, waiting. And then-a miracle happened.

She leaned into my hand.

I exhaled heavily, not having realized that I had been holding my breath. Sakura might not be consciously accepting my presence but her subconscious recognized me on some level. I sagged forward in relief, inhaling deeply, swelling up with happiness and the feeling of success-

-And suddenly I was swooning, senses all in critical alert. Breathing in her scent, this close, the world around me was spinning and Sakura was the center of gravity. I needed to be _closer_, had to be holding her, was dieing for the taste of her skin...

_Stop._

I jumped back, gasping. Head reeling, eyes closed, hands clutched in my hair, I pulled in air not as heavily saturated with her essence.

_For the love of blood...what just happened?_

Her scent alone had nearly driven me mad. Had almost stripped me of all control in a single second. Something savage and primal was burning through me-was it lust? I had heard of the sensation before but had never experienced it. There was something more though, something that I couldn't align with what I understood of sexual drives.

It was a _yearning_, a need that keened through my mind to _be_ with my mate. To have her tight up against me, protected, safe, warm, fulfilling-

Sakura's breath shuddered and I looked back up to see another tear slip down her cheek, leaving a pearly trace on her skin.

Rage at my helplessness tore savagely at my heart. There she lay, hurting, and here I was, mere feet away and unable to shield her from her own pain. What _use_ was I if I couldn't even overcome my own body's reactions to offer her the small comfort of my hand?

None.

And that left only one option.

Steeling myself I edged closer and closer, breathing slowly, steadily, measuring how the intensity of her scent grew exponentially over every inch.

Finally, after many tortured pauses and internal battles, I came to rest beside her bed once more, her lips near enough for me to lean in and press my own to-

Again I had to steady myself. In every encounter earlier today I had never had the experience of breathing _in_ while so very, very close to her. Thank blood I hadn't because I fear that any reaction from her when I'm-when I 'm like this, could unravel my brittle control.

I reached my hand out to her again and ran it gently along the top of her head down to cradle her cheek. I slowly let my thumb stroke across the damp softness of her skin and the tightness in her jaw lessened slightly.

No, I couldn't come to this close to Sakura when she was awake, not yet. But, tonight-

Tonight I would be right beside my mate. Tonight neither of us would be alone.

Is this what hope feels like?

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**Reviews=Crack**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hiiiii guys :)**

**I could give lots of excuses as to why I haven't written in so long but that would further delay you getting to read this long awaited chapter! **

**So have at it and feel free to read my notes at the bottom :)**

**xoxo  
Rose**

**Whispers in the Dark **

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"Sakuraaa, Sakura wake up!"

My body jolts slightly as the words resound in my brain, the feeling of trickling cold awareness washing through my limbs. It's a highly unpleasant feeling to accompany this highly unpleasant suggestion. So I choose to ignore it.

"Sakura, mom's on the phone, she wants to talk to you."

Yet another excellent reason for my eyes to remain closed.

But then, despite my brilliant logic and soundly made decision, I find the phone being shoved into the side of my face. Against my better judgment my hand reaches of its own volition to hold the metal and plastic menace to my ear.

"Sakura?"

"Eh." I feel the shift of an added weight at the end of my bed and move my legs over to give my sister more room.

My mother sighs heavily, static crackling through the speaker, "Sakura did you forget you have an appointment today?"

"Wha?" I respond groggily, heaving myself into a slightly vertical position, eyes still firmly closed.

"You have a therapy appointment at noon. Have you gotten ready to leave yet?"

My eyes snap open and I twist around to look at my clock. "Damnit," I grumble. It's thirty minutes before I have to leave to catch my bus. Looks as if I wasn't having breakfast this morning. Or lunch.

"Sakura…"

"It's fine mom I'll make it."

"Alright. Call me when you're on the bus okay? And tell Ino I want her to do the dishes_ before_ I get home"

"Kay mommy. Love you"

"Love you too."

I hang up the phone and throw it onto the floor beside my bed. Rolling back under the covers I groan into my pillow. "Fuuuuuuck this shit."

"Want me to make you breakfast?"

I peek out from my cocoon a little to smile at my sister who, from the looks of her, hasn't been awake that long either. "Would you really?" I say in my cutest, most incredibly grateful voice. This type of offer is a very rare thing from her so I work to look as adorably thankful as possible.

"Yeah sure," Ino says as she stands, sunlight glinting off her tousled blonde hair. "Hey, where did those roses come from?"

"Oh, those…" I try to think fast as I sit up, buying time I attempt to look sleepy and confused, "I…found them. At the-"

My breath catches in my throat and I feel my lie stick between my teeth. You see, as I had been speaking my gaze had wandered over to the dresser where I had placed the two roses the night before and what I saw sitting beside them has rendered my mind a little helpless.

Gaara's expression seems thoughtful as he watches us both; his gaze flitting back and forth between my sister and I as if he's studying our exchange. Yes, somehow it seems I have become the scientific specimen of my insubordinate, redheaded hallucination.

My face must be showing my shock because my sister suddenly looks rather concerned. "Sakura? Youuuu okay?"

My gaze shoots back to her. The confusion on her face makes it very clear that she can_not_ see the man in the corner because Ino is very predictable when it comes to her reactions to men, especially in regards to attractive men. Which Gaara so happens to be. If she could see him than I know for a fact that the look on her face would have been very different than it is now, though it is a tossup between whether it would have been one of calculated approval and pride in my having a hot man in my room or awe and utter shock that I have a hot man in my room. But the way the worry has begun to crease between her eyebrows tells me without a doubt that my hallucination is as invisible to her as those windexed glass doors in the commercials where the dumbass crows keep testing to see if they can get through.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I reassure her hurriedly. "But I think there's a huge spider in the corner over there."

The imaginary spider has the desired affect and she dashes out of the room and down the hall shrieking. Her predictability can come in handy sometimes.

Sibling out of the way I turn back to Gaara with a glare. "I thought I told you to be gone when I woke up."

He stares back at me with the same look I give my smaller siblings when they try and give me stupid instructions as if they think I will follow them.

My brows snap together and my lips come forward in a furious, pouting scowl. The guy doesn't even blink.

_Well fine then._ I think with a disgruntled harrumph. _I don't have time for an argument with him anyway._ With that I shove the weight of my blankets off of myself and lurch clumsily to my feet.

Casting a calculating, wary look over at my dresser my mind plays a brief game of tug o' war over whether I should get my clothes now, which means going nearer to the owner of that unnerving ice blue gaze, or wait til later….later I would be in a towel. And that would create the risk of a towel malfunction…

It's this line of thinking that drives me grudgingly over to the lurker's corner and I rifle as swiftly as I can through my drawers for an outfit, almost forgetting underwear in my haste.

Hallucination or not I don't really want Gaara looking into my underwear drawer and I shift myself protectively between it and his line of sight before sliding it open.

"What are you hiding?"

I shoot a swift, scathing look over my shoulder. "Girl things!"

"What are girl things?"

I roll my chosen undergarments into my shirt and turn to focus the full blast of my frustration on him. But then-

-I stop and stare. Dazedly I remember the night before, when he had sat so close beside the bed and then before, to our first meeting at the bus stop. Despite that only I had seen him those two times he had been perfectly solid; to my eyes he had looked whole and real. Bizarre and impossible, but still sturdy. Today though, he isn't the same.

Gaara looked at me oddly as I stared, my mouth slightly agape. But how can I not stare? He's transparent!

I mean I can still see him but I can also see right_ through_ him. Especially where the sun shines -across, over, through?-his shoulder and left side. There, the colors of his odd clothing are faded and the outline of his body is faint.

"What is it?"

I blink hard. Nope. Didn't help.

"You're transparent." I say slowly. "Why the hell did you turn transparent…"

He looks down at himself and flexes his hands in the sunlight. His faced pulls a little around the eyes and mouth and he seems almost…puzzled.

"I don't know…" He murmurs softly.

I stare in fascination before giving myself a hard mental shake. _He's a hallucination Sakura. Trying to figure this out is probably only encouraging the hallucination._

Falling asleep last night had been difficult so, as I had lain there, I had tried to put together an ingenious plan. Now, I retreated hastily without a word and determinedly put into action my brilliant (and so far only) Plan A.

Ignore the hallucination until he goes away.

Gaara followed me down the hall as I made my way to the bathroom. Still pretending he isn't there I close the door behind me, drop my clothes to the floor and begin to strip for my shower.

I tug my shirt over my head and reach to pull off my pants when, out of the corner of my eye, I catch the sight of a flash of red in the mirror.

I whirl around and there's Gaara, blue eyes practically falling out of his face and looking a little overwhelmed.

A strangled yelp of embarrassment bursts out of me and I throw my shirt at his head.

And then I throw the hairbrush, and the bottle of lotion, and the jar of bath salts…and, well, everything I can get my hands on.

Gaara backs up under the barrage of bathroom articles, skillfully and infuriatingly dodging each missile and then, just as I'm about to fling a tube of moisturizing goo at his goggling face, I feel myself go somewhat limp with shock.

Gaara is standing _in_ the door.

And I mean_ in_ the door. And I mean half of his body is in the bathroom and half of his body is out in the hallway and the rest of him is _in the middle_ of a solid door.

I gape helplessly for a second and then, suddenly remembering that I'm topless, I spin around, leap into the shower and jerk the duck covered curtain roughly shut.

"Gaara," I say sternly, if not a little shrilly. "Shower time is Sakura Alone Time. Actually," I amend quickly, "any bathroom time is Sakura Alone Time. Now um go-go wait in the hall."

I hold my breath and count to ten, hoping fervently that he'll listen to me.

On ten I peek hesitantly around the shower curtain and he is…gone. I slump against the wall of the shower in relief. For about three seconds before I remember I'm running late.

"DAMNIT!"

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Harried does not even begin to cover how I'm feeling. As soon as I had left the bathroom there was Gaara, arms crossed against his chest, and a frustrated scowl on his face.

That expression immediately pissed me off. I mean who did he think he was? Scaring me to death with his mere existence, invading my personal space, peeping on me _twice _now and he has the _balls_ to dare to look upset? I am patenting the right to be upset in this situation. I'm doing it right after my appointment. Then I can sue his ass.

Hmmmm. That sounds a little hysterical, even in my head.

Tea. Tea will fix things.

"Ino!" I call, running my hairbrush through my hair as I hurry into the kitchen, "Food and tea?"

She's already at the table with her own breakfast, reading a fashion magazine. Fashion, and all things related, is sort of like her religion. "On the counter." She replies thickly through the toast in her mouth.

I quickly wrap up my own toast before rushing back to my room for my purse and then running back again to whisk granola bars and fruit into it. Then, purse slung on my shoulder, tea in one hand and food in the other I fly down the stairs to the front door. "Ino! Mom-wants-you-to-do-the-dishes-love-you-bye!"

Slamming the door behind me I power down the drive, making a jerking right turn at the sidewalk. There's definitely a stomp in my step and I harness my angry energy to increase my speed.

I don't look behind for fear that Gaara is following. Because that's how he makes me feel: afraid. Underneath all the anger and aggression, when I see him I feel a deep rooted terror. Because when I told him that I had had hallucinations before it was the truth, and, while they were happening, I never told anyone. Not even the doctors when I stayed at the psychiatric hospital. I was afraid if I did then they'd never let me out.

I learned later that some of the medications that I had been on at the time could cause hallucinations in people with certain disorders, in particular with what I had. The knowledge filled me with such relief that I almost cried. It wasn't me. I wasn't as crazy as I had feared.

But this, this is different. Gaara is different.

After that first scare and the whole horrifying experience, of the tormenting voices and being trapped in imaginary hallways that I couldn't escape, I always research every medication I'm prescribed. Anytime they start me on something new I look into it immediately. Deathly afraid doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about reliving those experiences.

But I haven't changed any of my meds in a long time and nothing I'm taking lists hallucinating as a side effect.

So now my ancient fear is back. Was it all just me back then? Am I really that crazy?

Am I losing my mind?

"Why would you think that?"

A trill of surprise jolts through my body and my limbs freeze up.

_Shit. I said that out loud didn't I?_

I take in a deep, silent breathe to calm my racing heart before forcing out a mockery of a laugh. "Well who doesn't feel that way sometimes? It's not like I really think that."

"Then why did you sound afraid when you said that?"

_Damn he's good. And obviously he doesn't do the 'accept a lie just to be polite' thing either. _

_ What the hell am I thinking? He's a figment of my imagination! Of course he can tell when I'm lying!_

_ Keep it together girl. Seriously. _

"Gaara you're imagining things. Which means I'm imagining things…" I finish with a mumble. Good god this is getting ridiculous fast.

"You lie often."

Oh _now_ he's gone and done it.

Like a hurricane of indignation I spin around, hair fanning around me, and snap across the distance between us until I'm only a foot away from his immobile form.

"You listen here buster. I don't_ care_ if you're a hallucination you do_ not_ get to say things like that to me. I lie because I have to. If I actually told people half of what I felt or think they couldn't handle it. Either I would lose them or they would just worry about something that they can't fix. I don't want that, I don't _want_ them to know how I'm feeling and honestly how I feel doesn't really matter so just-just _stop_."

I glare at him, eyes stinging, waiting expectantly for him to say something. But, to my confusion, he remains absolutely silent, lips pressed into a thin white line and his strange pointed pupils dilated and staring at me ravenously. My anger seeps out of me under his piercing gaze and in the wash of fear that replaces it I take an involuntary step back.

His hand snaps out and grabs my wrist before I get any further away and he pulls in a ragged, shallow breath. His grip is gentle but through it I can feel him faintly trembling. It's as if he's fighting against something that I can't see and underneath my fear I feel a rush of concern.

I open my mouth to say something but then-

"I…want you to tell me." His voice is strained but there's an earnestness in his words. "How you're actually feeling."

I stare at him in shock. "…why? Why do you care?"

"Because you matter."

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**So what do you think? I used a different writing style from anything else in the story. First person made Sakura's thoughts and feelings feel more personal to me and it's going to be a very personal story. I also used present tense verses the past that I did in the last chapter with Gaara. I felt like it moved better but again it is different but what do you guys think? I haven't written in so long I'm a little still and writing is a little tricky in any tense for me right now honestly. So I need some input here you guys :)**

**Also I am suuuuuper sorry for taking so long to update. Life has been rather ridiculous and I've actually taken a sort of vacation by moving away from home for a little while. Being mini mom to 6 (3 partying girls, 2 small children and sometimes my own mother) can get a little exhausting. So while I'm on this vaca I want to try and get back into the swing of writing :) **

**Not even gonna try and pretend to be cool I am SO excieted for your reviews :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**The long awaited new chapter is here! I love this chapter. I hope you do too. **

**Thanks for reading and extra love for you reviewers!**

**xoxo  
Rose**

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I'm not sure what I did this time but the frosty silence that my pink haired mate has kept up assures me that I did indeed do something. Though none of my puzzling has given me a clue as to what I have decided, based on her stony silence, to take this time to conduct further observations.

As she sits on the ground, leaning against a metal pole with a strange picture on it and the words "Bus Stop" in black letters, she seems to have the neurotic need to sort the debris around her. Breaking the twigs into inch long pieces she creates a tiny stack of wood, like logs for miniature people. On the other side of her shoe she piles all the pebbles in a mound and all the loose grass she has managed to scrape up she pushes together into a pile before hollowing out the middle.

The actions, while completely lost on me, seem to soothe her and when she looks up at me again, this is probably the fourth time now, she doesn't flinch like she has been, as if frightened by the very sight of me. Instead, when she looks at me this time she sighs, as if she's resigned herself to my presence.

Her mouth twists into a rueful half smile and she pats the ground beside her. I don't know exactly what that means so I only edge closer uncertainly.

When she realizes that I don't understand her meaning she huffs in exasperation. "Are you going to sit down or are you going to stand there staring all day?"

Thrilled at the invitation I carefully seat myself on the ground beside her. It's odd that I feel so tentative around my mate but I have to admit, her sudden and violent mood shift are a little disconcerting.

"So," she says slowly, plucking at some leaves, "I'm on my way to see my therapist today. I'm going to talk to her about you and maybe she and I can figure out why you're here and how I can get rid of you."

I scowl, somewhat offended. "I will not be gotten rid of."

"Hey now don't go getting all offended. You're the one who showed up out of nowhere and then keep freaking me out or being a rude asshole!"

She tells me not to get offended yet she uses such offensive and defensive language. "I have not been rude in the least." I respond patiently. "You are the one who is uncomfortable with honesty."

"You want me to be honest?" She looks at me for a moment, eyebrows raised as if asking for confirmation, like she's expecting me to retract my request. I tell myself to remember to always be very clear with her on this sort of thing so that maybe one day she'll learn to trust my words without having to question them. For now I nod at her seriously, eyes holding hers. She huffs in response and then says, "Fine. Anyway I was asking you to sit down because I wanted to try and call a truce for the time being but now you've gone and pissed me off again."

Truces are a good start. "...I would like a truce." I say.

"Well," she says hesitantly, "you have to know I can't promise to be totally truce-y all the time if you want me to be honest with you."

It seems like she is being honest already. I feel a tingle of optimism. "If you tell me how I've upset you though I can fix it more quickly so I see no problem with this."

"And I might forget sometimes. And I'm still going to get rid of you."

"I shall just have to remind you then. And I assure you that you will not be successful. There is only one thing that can prevent me from staying and I will ensure that that does not happen."

"Wait, you know how to get you out of my head?"

"As I have already told you I am not a figment of your imagination. I am quite real and cannot just be willed out of existence." A very large metal machine is pulling up beside us now. It looks like the same one that she rode away on yesterday.

"Wait you know how to-"

The glass doorway folded open and she snapped her mouth shut, frustration sparking in her eyes. I suppress a chuckle at the expression and watch as I see thoughts flicker rapidly behind her eyes.

She stands up and I rise with her, preparing myself to leap onto the top of the metal machine as I did yesterday, when suddenly I feel every nerve ending as if I have been electrocuted because she has grabbed my hand. She jerks her arm, silently urging me to follow her but my muscles are locked in place so overwhelmed I am from the unexpected physical contact.

I look at her and she seems almost as surprised as me. As if even now, after having already felt my hands and shoved me to the ground it's still a shock to her that I have a corporeal body.

"Are you gonna get on or what?" I look up and see the bus driver, a heavy set man with a hairy face and thick eyebrows, scowling down at us.

I take a deep breath and tug her hand a little. I've gathered myself enough that I can process other thoughts beside her touch.

Sakura still seems a little shaken but her grip tightens and she practically tows me along with her up the steps and into the tube like metal and plastic space. She releases my hand to pull a small plastic rectangle from her pocket and slide it through a thin slit. I'm not totally sure I trust this large contraption we have entered but that makes it more necessary that I am in it with her.

I follow her down the aisle and when she slides into a seat at the back I perch on the far edge of the one next to her. As much as I want to I can't stay too close to Sakura at the moment; my self control has yet to develop fully when it comes to her and I don't want to push things too far.

She rummages around in her bag and pulls out her small talking box. She holds it to her ear and then says, "So Gaara I wanted to ask you about what you were saying before. About knowing how to make yourself...be gone?"

I scan our surroundings, searching for something to explain why she's talking to me without looking at me and holding the talking box. Finding nothing I look back at her. "What you doing?"

"Well, no ones close enough to hear what I'm saying but I don't want anybody to look back her and wonder why I'm talking to myself. So I'm pretending to talk to you on my phone."

The world outside is flashing by. It's strange how fast this machine can move while inside we are still. However I am learning that my mate is stranger still. "Why do you care what strangers may think?"

She plucks at her hair, turning her head from me slightly as she answers."Because enough people already think I'm crazy. I don't want to add to the list."

Why does my mate seem so convinced that she is mad? "Why do people think you're crazy?"

"...there was a bit of an incident." She responds reluctantly, "It wasn't pretty and the aftermath hasn't been either."

"What aftermath?"

"Oh you know, people glaring at you, talking down to you, avoiding meeting your eyes, ignoring you. General social ostracization. That sort of aftermath."

This strikes me. I have known these things, I have looked into faces twisted with revulsion and hatred. I have felt the rejection and judgment of the masses. But there was no way that she could have done what I did. But I must ask.

"Did you attack someone?"

She looks at me incredulously. "Do I seem like the attacking type?"

I think about her ever occurring mood swings "...possibly."

"Well I'm not. Well,", she smiles awkwardly, "not since I was a kid anyway."

I picture a small pink haired child with blood on her fists. "You were violent as a child?"

She shrugs. "I punched a few people in the face. But you never answered my question."

I had hoped she had forgotten. "And I do not intend to. I cannot."

"What do you mean you can't?" Her voice rises with frustration. "You just told me a few minutes ago that you know."

She will simply not let this go. "But I am bound not to tell you."

"Bound? Bound by who?"

I wish I could tell her everything. I wish this could be simpler. But if I fear if I continue to answer her that she will learn too much and the contract will be broken and I will loose her and myself forever. I must remain silent for fear of this.

She watches me, waiting. Then her jaw sets and I see she has realized that I am through answering her questions.

"Oh now you play the silent game. Fine." She huffs, "I can play too." And with that she turned her back to me and began to fiddle with her talking box.

I am learning quickly that when Sakura gets into a testy mood it is best to give her a moment to herself. And I feel as if I need a moment to myself as well. I've been so wrapped up in meeting my mate that I have not given myself a moment to think on what has transpired in the past two days. To reflect on the unexpected turn my life had taken. Only yesterday morning I had been trying to end my life...

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_The morning before..._

I figured the only way to kill myself was to go to the sea. There the ocean's powers would be greater than my own. There I could drown myself. There I would find a peaceful, endless oblivion where even I couldn't be lonely.

So I went. The path I traveled was short but it was still far too long for my weary heart. When I finally smelt the sea's brine I ran faster than I ever had before; I ran towards death.

And then, there it was. Before me, becoming closer with every second, were the towering cliffs that looked out over the open sea and my soon to be grave. The water was blue and white and it crashed with sucking roars against the jagged earthen faces of the resistant land. Filled with an emotion closer to glee than anything else I ever remember feeling, I sprinted still faster. With one great leap I threw myself from the edge of the cliff.

As I soared out over the ocean I had a thought: Perhaps if I could fly, living a while longer wouldn't be so bad...

But it was a foolish thought; flying alone would be no less lonely than running alone.

And then my flight ceased and I was falling; falling to my welcome death.

I closed my eyes. I had seen enough of this world. In these last moments I wanted to feel life. Feel everything with every part of my being. The air against my skin, the spice of salt in my nostrils, the sea's mist on my tongue-all before the icy plunge that would burn like fire through my lungs before tucking my mind under a blanket of merciful black sleep that wouldn't end...

I felt the jarring pain of impact but...no wet, no ice, no rocking lullaby of life stealing waves. I was dry and warm and the surface I laid against did not move...

I opened my eyes and saw sand beneath me. I felt the shift of the grains under my palms in horror.

"No!" I cried as I leapt to my feet. I whipped around to look back towards where I had jumped from and saw, stretched out over the distance, a ribbon slim path of slithering pale brown all the way back to the shore. The ribbon connected to the platform of sand on which I stood and fed my little island from the stock pile of sand from the beach. I watched the edges of my isle in shock while they continued expanding outwards as the volume of the brown grit increased. It seemed even the powers of the ocean could not deter the earths dedication to preserving my cursed life.

I had to move quickly before there was too much sand to escape from. With a bestial roar I sprang forward as far as I could, attempting to jump off the island and swim below the waters surface, but the damned substance reached out across the distance I had jumped and formed a bowl for me to land in. I switched tactics like lightning and crouched down, using all of my muscles to spring as high as I could I tried to overcome the gritty lip of the bowls curve, but the barrier simply grew upward and pushed me back down with a gentle nudge.

Snarling like a caged animal I tried running, digging, beating my way through the walls that separated me from death. I used all of my impossible strength, strength that would kill a beast in one blow, but my loyal sand did not yield, never showed any signs of giving at all.

Hours later, exhausted, my hands and voice both raw from angry use, I fell to my knees in despair.

"Why! Why won't you let me die! I want out! I'm sick of living alone! I have nothing to live for; my existence has no meaning...I'm suffocating..."

"You! Boy!"

My head snapped up and I glared in the direction of the voice, my mind quickly processing the rapidly shrinking distance between me and the sea cliffs while my eyes picked out the wrinkled and ancient figure of an old woman from against the ridge of the cliff.

"Yes, you boy! Do you see anyone else I could be yelling at around here?"

I snarled at the hag; of all the times in my life for someone to try to talk to me right now was the very worst of times to have chosen.

"Oh stop your growling you over grown lap dog and get up here before you do something stupid."

Her voice creaked like the wheels of a splintering gypsy wagon and annoyed me immensely.

"Leave me in peace old woman!" I yelled up hoarsely at her, "Today is the wrong day to taunt the demon spawn."

"I'm not taunting you you idiot and we're on a schedule so get your angsty ass up here and let's get a move on!"

My sand rose in fury and I rode the raging swell up the crest of rock that she stood upon. "Do you want to die old woman?" I thundered down at her, "Because if that is what you want you can just throw yourself from the cliff! Please! Remind me again of how I can't ever have what I long for most!"

The layers of her wrinkled face creased and refolded into what looked like a smirk. "Bout time you got up here angsty ass."

Blood rang in my ears and I felt tendrils of sand reaching out towards her, hungry for the rich liquid that beat through her veins. It had been so long since I had allowed myself to kill anything but animals for my food. So long since I had given into more demonic tendencies and let myself enjoy the sound of human screams...

No. I am not...I am not a monster

No, no, no, no, no, no...Eyes closed I let the word chase itself around my mind as I focused on the flow of air through my mouth and out my nostrils. In, out, inhale, exhale, calm, anger, in, out, in, out...

When I opened my eyes I saw that the stout figure of the infuriating old woman hadn't moved an inch since when my sand first began to approach her. Instead she had stayed completely still, her eyes examining me with an unnerving intensity.

I stared back at her, my blood cooling as I studied the ancient creature.

Her skin hung heavy around every feature, the scarf wrapped around her head only created more shadows along her brow and her eyes bore out through the darkness. Penetrating and unabashed they searched me for something that I knew not of.

"Come with me."

I blinked in surprise and watched as the old woman turned away and hobbled swiftly along the edge of the cliff.

"What?"

She turned back towards me, irritation at my disobedience of her command woven into the wrinkles around her mouth.

"I have someone who can help you with your problem." Her words were abrupt and she spun around as soon as they were out, shuffling away purposefully.

I stood there in shock for a moment; staring after her swiftly disappearing figure-wait-where did she go!

Jumping down from my sandy dais I ran to where I just seen her lumpy form vanish, arriving at the spot in a few seconds of rushing air. Where was she? There were only so many directions she could go...

I looked down, the only direction she could have gone that my half demon eyes couldn't have seen her take. Sure enough, there were rough hewn stone steps cut into the cliff side a few inches from my bare, dust covered foot and, hobbling down them and cursing under her breath, was the old crone.

I flashed down the stairs, my feet light on the crumbling rocks that didn't look as if anyone has passed over them for countless years.

"You mean you know someone who can kill me?" My voice had returned to its usual softer timbre but was filled with urgency unusual to it; what if this woman held my answer?

"No you dim wit!" Her harsh voice cut across the space between us and rammed itself offensively into my ears. "Suicide is selfish, hasn't anyone ever told you that?"

I stopped and stared at her hunched back in stark incredulity. "What are you talking about? I have no loved ones to leave behind. I have only myself."

She kept on down the stairs that were now doubling back, huddling closer to the cliff face as the wind around us picked up and cold sea spray reached up to the low slung sky that roiled with different shades of grey. "You'd be leaving her behind!"

"Her-Who are you talking about?"

The crone just continued further down and a second later I realized that, while I might be able to hear her responses over the roar of the wind and the sighs of the waves, her ancient human senses were not as acute as mine and couldn't detect my question from so far away. But I needed to hear her answer, needed it now, and so I leapt down from the stretch of cliff that I stood on, sailing through the air and landing in a crouch on the stairs in front of the woman. I straightened and she glared at me, unimpressed.

"Who are you talking about?" I demanded.

"Your mate you idiot!"

Those words changed everything.

That moment changed everything.

In that moment everything froze. The wind kept blowing but I could not hear it. The waves licked up the ragged rock walls but I could not feel their spray. Could not feel the edges of the earth beneath my bare feet, could not sense the movement or the breath of the world around me; there was only the world inside me, a world thrumming with a word and a meaning I had yet to fully process.

"My...mate?

"Yes." her voice had moved beyond me and I whirled around to see that in my stupor the old woman had maneuvered around my body and was proceeding though the rain down the quickly slickening steps. "Yes you dim wit, everyone has one. She needs you just as much as you need her; are you going to leave her all alone?"

I followed her, my mind a haze of desperation. "I have a mate?"

She stopped in front of a stretch of soaked stone wall and prodded it with her bony finger. "Are you deaf?"

My chest was tightening; heart was humming with unfamiliar hope. "Where is she?"

"Well that's the problem isn't it?" Her finger traced out patterns against the rock. "Finding mates is always tricky, especially for people with parents from different dimensions like yourself...makes things very complicated let me tell you." She pressed her palm against the sediment and a portion sunk back with a rumble and then began to slide sideways, disappearing into darkness while I stared in astonishment at the sudden doorway. "Mates can end up anywhere in the fabric, any dimension, any era you name it! Helps that you're part demon though, generally narrows down the gender field by about half though we do get those free swingers from time to time..." The sliding portion of stone had vanished completely and the crone stepped forward into a lightless tunnel. "Ahhh here we go-watch your head."

I followed her into the shadows, small pools of water marking each step I took. "If she could be anywhere...is there any way to find her?

She walked on assuredly despite the darkness. This path was familiar to her and though I wondered what she was leading me too I knew the question didn't matter. I would follow the old woman, and the light of hope she had held before my long desolate heart, anywhere.

"Didn't I say I was bringing you to see someone who could help you?" I heard her palm scrape against the stone again and a sharp clink of rock against rock before another section of wall began to slide away into the unknown, revealing a faint pink glow beyond the woman's figure. "And people say that I'm hard of hearing." The crotchety creature mumbled to herself, "Heh, it's you youth who just need to listen better..."

The cavern we were passing through now was vast. Pools of water were scattered throughout, stalactites and stalagmites were everywhere and, embedded in the floor and ceiling of the cave, were massive chunks of glowing pink crystal that lit everything as far as I could see. "Who," I asked, "are you bringing me to see?"

"Oh the lady goes by many names. Possibly the most accurate depiction of her is Xochiquetzal but she's also known as Venus, Aphrodite, Branwen, Sjofn, Freya, Turan, Astrild...None that you would recognize of course but I suppose you can just address her as My Lady." We had reached another tunnel again, this one lit by small lavender gems, and I felt pressure begin to build in my ears as we went down further and further in to the earth. "What's important for you to know" she continued, "is who she is."

A thought was niggling at the edge of my dizzied consciousness, struggling to be heard, then- "Wait." I stopped, completely furious with myself for not having asked myself this earlier.

The crone paused as well but kept her back to me. "What?"

"I need to know;" I asked, voice low, tight, controlled, "why are you helping me?"

Please, please don't let this be a lie. Please.

"...I knew your mother." For the first time the old woman didn't sound brusque, assured. She looked smaller than she had a moment ago and her voice was...sad. "I owed her a great debt but she...died before I was able to repay it."

I had never before met anyone who had known my mother, had no way to prove the truthfulness of her words yet...I sensed the sincerity of her pain and that I could understand, could believe. "...I see."

"Ahem." She shook herself and turned enough to glare over her hunched shoulder at me, "Good well, before we go any further you need to know who we will be summoning."

"Summoning?" I watched her hand reach out and disappear into a crevice, heard her fingernails scratch along a smooth surface before coming to a stop.

" Yes you idiot!" She snapped in impatience, "Gods don't just live in one temple all the time!"

Did she just say-"...Gods?"

"Yes," Her frail arm twisted something within the shadowed space and with a now familiar clink, a massive rumbling filled the tunnel and steam and light rushed out of the new opening to illuminate and obscure her elderly figure. "You see, I am the high priestess of the Goddess of Love."

_To be continued..._

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**I'm on a bit of a writing kick and responses fuel me so if this is what you want me to be working on then let me know. **


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