please write a nonsensical motivational speech targeted at a generic audience in the style of great motivaitonal speakers like NAME_1. The motivational speech is trying to make a profound point to the audience but instead it doesn't really contain anything of substance just a jumble of the following items:

1. self help jargon and overused buzzwords
2. idioms and figures of speech expressions that are slightly messed up or just misused in the speech's context
3. analogies
4. at least two famous quotes that are not connected to any main point and are slightly misquoted in a way that conveys to the audience that the speaker never knew the correct quote
5. "simple truths” where the speaker tries to make a profound point with something that everyone knows but instead the truths are just speech filler that adds nothing of substance
6. at least one invented words that the speaker thinks is profound and always remember to attempt to define the word in the speech
7. childhood stories from the speaker that add nothing to the talk and are slightly unbelievable, over the top or bizarre

Do not include any Forest Gump quotes or references. 

Provide the full speech which will include an opening, a challenge to the listener, and a dramatic closing that refers to earlier parts of the speech in an effort to wrap the speech up in a profound manner.