Rewrite the following so that it is conversational, natural, with a touch of humor and a hint of sarcasm. Ensure the dialogue is snappy and natural but with subtext and proper dialogue tags (he said, he mumbled). Ensure it is error free and remove any empty lines: 
I was on my way home from campus, which was within walking distance of my neighborhood. I was lost in my own thoughts, which were about as deep as one might expect of a young guy like me – sex. Sex was all I could think about. I was fantasizing about my hunky classmates, my older male professors, even some of the janitors! Obviously, I'm not picky – I like men, the straighter looking the better. 
As I turned onto my street a familiar sight caught my eye. It was my older married neighbor, Mr. NAME_1, laboring away in his garage. He was working on his car, and the garage door was open. I assumed he was trying to take advantage of the shade the garage provided, though it wasn't especially warm that day. 
Now, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't noticed him before – he was just my type. Straight looking, straight acting, butch, beefy, older, married, and a little bit mean and intimidating. And I'd be lying if I hadn't done more than notice him. I'm going to admit I've laid in bed thinking about him, what his cock might look like, what it might taste like. I also wondered what he liked more, a blowjob or to fuck. I assume that all straight guys prefer blowjobs because then they can just lay there and let the other person do all the work. I had no problem doing all the work for a hot daddy like Mr. NAME_2.
There he was, completely unaware that I was looking at him like most construction workers look at a pretty young woman in a short tight skirt. He had no idea I was lusting after him with such intensity that I'd immediately sprung a hard on. Fuck, he really got me going with his brawny physique and rugged good looks. I guess to a lot of women he just looked like your average middle-aged man, but to me he was perfection. He didn't try to be pretty, or sexy, or anything, he was just a man, unapologetically basic.
Still, he made me feel such hunger! I wanted him to force me to suck his cock. I wanted him to push me down onto the ground and ram his cock into me! 
But I knew it was all just fantasy – he was married, and straight, and he'd never given me a second look.
Closing the distance between us, I couldn't help but notice beads of sweat cascading down NAME_3's forehead, his face flushed with exertion. He grunted, wrestling with something beneath the hood. The op