summarize this "I hear a lot of men and women say, eI am so tired of games,f but I am
very skeptical towards many when I hear them say this. I believe
many men and women love to engage in head games with members
of the opposite sex mainly because they are very, very good at it.
If you read Mode One, you know that I feel there are two primary
factors that motivate manipulative game playing: 1) Fear and 2)
Spoiled Egos. When you are afraid of being rejected, being ignored,
and/or being harshly criticized, this is when you tend to employ
manipulative tactics to get what you want. Secondly, when you are
so spoiled and used to getting your way that you cankt fathom not
having your way, you tend to become manipulative.
I donkt think your love life, sex life and/or social life will ever truly be
enjoyable and satisfying as long as you are allowing men or women
to mislead you and manipulate you. Remember: No one can truly
manipulate you unless youkre trying to manipulate them. If youkre
not trying to mislead and manipulate others, then the only other way
you can be manipulated is if you are just really, really naïve.
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It cracks me up to hear manipulative game players always use the
defense, GDonBt judge me!!L when you call them out on their
manipulative tactics and tendencies. A friend and I were just talking
about this. That comment is without question the #1 patented
response to accusations of being manipulative. HDon3t judge me!!K
Yes, I am going to judge you. Not by my standards, not by GODks
standards or biblical standards, not by your mother or fatherks
standards, but more so by your own standards.
I believe one of the first things you should do when you start
interacting with a man or woman who you are attracted to is to find
out what are their standards and principles for their own behavior, and
what are their general expectations for those they plan on dating or
having [casual] sex with. For example . . .
x What are your thoughts on monogamy versus non-monogamy?
x How much do you value honesty in a relationship?
x What role does sex play in your level of happiness in a relationship?
x What role does money and financial security play in your level of
happiness in a relationship?
x Has anyone ever betrayed your trust, and if so, how did that make
you feel? Have you ever betrayed someone elseks trust, and if so, did
you feel regretful later on?
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Itks been said that if you want the right answers, you have to ask the
right questions. There are a number of questions you can ask a
potential boyfriend, girlfriend or [casual sex] lover, but the questions
I listed are fundamental and much needed to establish what that
personks standards are for their own behavior.
Then, when they violate their own standards, you can say to them,
eIkm judging you by the standards you set for yourself.f It is very
rare when I pass judgment on other peopleks dating and sex habits
based on my own personal, opinionated standards.
If you are a man who is bi-sexual ... I donkt care. Just be upfront and
straightforward with the women you date and have sex with. If you
are into polyamorous dating and maintaining a multiplicity of sex
partners l that is on you. Just be upfront and straightforward with
the men and women you date and choose to have sex with. My thing
is, whatever your romantic and/or sexual desires are, just have the
cojones to be upfront and straightforward about them.
It is funny how some men and women will stop engaging in
manipulative head games when their tools for manipulation begin to
diminish. If a womanks primary manipulative tool was her looks and
sex appeal, as soon as she becomes old, fat, and unattractive, all of the
sudden you will hear the former master manipulator say, eI hate
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games.f Same with a man who used to have a high degree of career
success, wealth and material possessions. Now that heks unemployed,
damn near broke, and no materialistic mtoysk to brag about, all of the
sudden he says, eI hate women who play games.f Too funny.
Developing an interpersonal communication style that is upfront and
straightforward is not easy. It takes work and practice. Repetition,
repetition, repetition. If it were easy, everyone would communicate
in an upfront and straightforward manner with one another.
GI have no interest in dating that man, but I donBt have the heart to
tell him. Maybe I will just ignore his Email messages and phone
calls.L So l youkre scared of hurting the guyks feelings huh? Well,
letks see here. You think blatantly not returning his phone calls gives
his ego and feelings a boost? You believe that simply not responding
to his Email messages makes him feel good about himself?
GThe woman I met is not really my type for marriage or long-term
dating. I just want to have a few days or a few weeks of casual sex
with her. If I tell her that though, it will make me look shallow.L So,
you donkt have the balls to tell the woman upfront that you just want
to exchange orgasms with her huh? Well, letks see here. You believe
that misleading a woman into believing that you genuinely care for
her and sincerely enjoy spending time with her, when in reality you
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only want to experience the joy of shooting out baby batter, is the best
way to go? Think about that for a moment. I mean, really. "