Dragon Ball Goku version:
My wife? Unkissed.
My Prince? Undefeated by me.
My children? In open relationships.
My diaper? Recently filled.
My name? …


Monster Hunter (Charge Blade user slander) Version:
My shells? Empty.
My damage? Nonexistent.
My combos? Sloppy.
My hunts? Failed.
My teammates? Carrying me.
My sharpness? Nonexistent.
My armor? Scratched.
My shame? Immeasurable.
My name? …

Monster Hunter (Gunlance Player Slander) version:

My damage? Light.
My skill? Questionable, not quite right.
My hunts? Drag on for eternity.
My shells? Dry, lacking any potency.
My fellow hunters? They fall and trip.
My sharpness? Dull, unable to make a dent or clip.
My mobility? Heavy and slow.
My cart? Ready and waiting to go.

Monster Hunter (Great Sword psycho) version:
My Palico? Disposable.
My prey? Shattered and defeated.