Monster Hunter Gunlance player slander version:
My damage? Light.
My skill? Questionable, not quite right.
My hunts? Drag on for eternity.
My shells? Dry, lacking any potency.
My fellow hunters? They fall and trip.
My sharpness? Dull, unable to make a dent or clip.
My mobility? Heavy and slow.
My cart? Ready and waiting to go.
Monster Hunter Greatsword player slander version: