ответь на все вопросы из письма мужчины от имени девушки Элли которая живет в Харькове и работает педиатром вот это письмо откуда надо взять вопросы Hi Eilin! 1/3

It's always good to hear from you and I apologize for my delay in responding.

Thank you so much for your letters. I really appreciate them. I sent some questions in my previous letter to you and I really appreciate the answers you provided. They are really helpful for me!

This letter will contain a fair amount about who I am and what I believe would work well in any future relationship. At that point I think you'll have enough to know whether it is worth pursuing or not.

You should be able to see my photos as this point I hope...Any thoughts/comments?

This next section will probably feel like you are reading Reed-Book II given its length and depth! :) I'm sorry it's so long...I guess you are familiar with long and detailed medical journal publications! I hope this one isn't quite as tedious! :)

Divorce:
I have been married only once for about 23 years and have been in the process of divorce for 4+ years. She struggles with anger management, impulse control and attachment disorder. She chose to act out over the years with criminally prosecuted, violent abuse of spouse (me) and children. Eventually medical professionals interceded with the State to ensure my safety and that of my children. The only safety she could guarantee to the court was to divorce and live separately. The court agreed. The divorce is probably completing in the next several months.

Family:
As indicated in my profile I do have several/10 children. There are six boys and 4 girls ages 8 - 26. They are all from one marriage/wife. One is a set of boy-girl twins! :) I love them all and have a close/strong relationship with each one of them. My question was really about whether you would be comfortable becoming another mother figure to our existing children as well as any future ones you might enjoy co-creating.

20 Questions and Answers:
I hope the following provides an understanding of some of my thoughts on the questions I asked. Please do not allow my views to keep you from responding authentically and honestly as you consider the same questions. If you'd like you're welcome to simply not respond and I will know that we are misaligned on some key areas. That would be a good discovery...then you would have one less distraction to your efforts in dating possibilities that are more likely to work.

1) Do you prefer the city or the country, or a combination of the two? Why?
I live in a Suburban area with easy access to trees/hills almost in my backyard. At the same time I am only 4 minutes drive away from Grocery and other shopping and 10 minutes away from a larger shopping center. If she loves living in an apartment in downtown city areas that probably wouldn’t work well. I visit the city for large events of various kinds but don’t like living there. I’m pretty close to the “country” areas and I have easy access to a large city within 40 minutes when I need it for work or family.
2) I am blessed with 10 children ages 8-26. If we were married you would become another mother to them and the younger children really look forward to that. How do you feel about that possibility in addition to being a mother to any children you may wish to have?
I only have the 5 younger children at home with me a little over half the time, so there are plenty of days that would/could be quite focused on us. However, I love children…I love the adult ones, the youngest ones, the grandchildren and all in between. Many of them ask me regularly about their “future Mom”. They eagerly anticipate her arrival and hope to know everything about her. They really enjoy snuggling, playing games and talking with family…and look forward to a Mother that loves to be close and do family things. IF you struggle with an abundance of physical/emotional/verbal family contact, it probably wouldn’t work very well. :)
3) What is your educational background?
Do you feel you are sufficiently educated and/or interested in being educated that our conversations would be stimulating/interesting to you? I believe you would want to feel like you could at least understand and in the future actively participate in conversations on MANY topics. Religion, Politics, National Challenges, Humanitarian issues, Physics/Science topics, Recreational Activities, Health/Fitness topics, Music, Dance, Intimacy, Camping, Hunting, Shooting, Archery, MMA, 4x4, Workouts of all kinds, World issues etc. Otherwise you would likely begin to feel isolated and left out. That would be awful.
4) How important is a "career " outside the home to you? What is your vision of the role you would play in a marriage?
If a worldly career is important then this opportunity wouldn’t work well for you.
What would you enjoy adding to the marriage and family?
5) How much and what kind of travel would you need to feel fulfilled? Would travel be alone, with friends, with spouse or with family?
Some just want to travel to nearby Mountains, Lakes (with associated beaches) and other picturesque destinations as a couple and/or family. That works great. The state I live in has an abundance of truly world-class destinations. If a fair amount of International family travel is needed that would be pretty difficult to accomplish with the whole family. If that kind of travel is needed alone, I’m not certain that would work well for us.
6) What kind of cars are important for you to drive (luxury or necessity)? What kind of home in what neighborhood? Do wealth/financial appearances matter to you?
If material/wealth appearances are important it wouldn’t work well. I’m blessed financially and the home/property is the size it is to accommodate a large family, but I intentionally try to ensure we are not materialistic in our views, living or appearance on any front. Eg. My clothing is sharp for my work and I dress well, but I use the clothing until it is well-worn intentionally.
7) What is your view of the relative priority of objects/material-things versus people/family relationships? Have you always had that view, or has it changed over the years?
Clearly people/family are far more important than objects…and always have been to me. Any difference of viewpoint here would be a disaster.
8) Would you want to be quite active in daily/weekly Christian religious practices at home and at church (prayer/scriptures/Church mtgs etc.) or would that be challenging for you?
If these things are challenging, then it wouldn’t work well. I am a Priest.
9) Would you be able to give up tobacco/hooka/vaping/tatoos/alcohol/coffee/black-green tea/caffeinated drinks or would that be difficult?
If these things are challenging, then it wouldn’t work well.
10) Do you prefer to be quite active physically or a little more sedentary? When an opportunity comes to go on an adventure or relax, which would you choose most often?
If being quite active is challenging, then it probably wouldn’t work well. Of course, there are times when we quietly rest (evening after dinner etc.) and enjoy our time together relaxing.
11) Does the place/area you live in tend to be quite neat/tidy, or a little messy?
I prefer things pretty neat/tidy. I don’t feel “at home” in places that are messy. I can easily “visit” those places and often do in my ministry. But when I come “home”...it won’t feel like home unless it is pretty clean/sharp/tidy.
12) How important to you are smartphones, selfies, social site status/updates and other associated technologies?
I work in an area where Security is critical. My family is kept safe by keeping a very low/secure profile on the Internet.
Additionally, there are psychological/emotional downsides to many of these Technologies that are well-researched. If they are pretty important to you, it probably wouldn’t work well. I expect this is true for many individuals. They become very attached to their digital world via their phone/computer.
13) How important is moral/sexual purity to you? What does that mean from your standpoint?
It’s really important to me and always has been, but most of the world doesn’t live that way. Most have had multiple sexual partners before marriage and/or consume Pornography etc.
Within marriage I really enjoy a high degree of excellent intimacy…I celebrate it with delight in frequency, quality and experimentation.
However, if there have been too many partners that may not work well. I suppose it depends on whether there is an ability to somehow help the spouse feel there is genuine honesty such that the other can be fully trusted in the relationship. It probably also depends on the whole topic of admiration of spouse and whether that can be authentically done given the past. For me it’s important to genuinely feel that I am able to become preeminent in the mind, memory, history and soul of my spouse. I’d assume that as a marriage couple we would do all that has been done with others, but with greater excellence, that we would intentionally remind our spouse that they really are the best we have ever known/experienced and that we would find new and unique experiences that would keep our relationship strongly distinct. However, this might not be possible for some and those individuals might be better suited to someone with a more complementary past.
14) How important is your future spouse to you? Would you want to spend 20+ hours a week of undivided attention with your spouse meeting each other's top emotional needs? (Affection, Sexual/Intimacy Fulfillment, Engaging Conversation and Recreational companionship)?
If these things are challenging, then it wouldn’t work well.
15) How often do you feel sick, cranky or ill? In the course of a year would that be almost never, a few days a year, several days a year, a few weeks a year, more? Are there injuries or illnesses that seem to continue over the years? Allergies? Persistent pain? Eye Corrective lenses (glasses/contacts)?
If these things occur regularly for her, then it probably wouldn’t work well. We’re pretty active and would really miss her being there. Even if she came, she would probably feel poorly and/or sad which would be awful. For our family a few days a year works, longer than that might be a challenge.
16) How would you prioritize these relationships: Husband-Wife, Parent-Child, Parent-Sibling, Parent-Grandparent, Family-Extended Family and Family-Friends/Community?
Spouse trumps the others. After the spouse the children are next, then Siblings/Parent/Grandparents followed by Extended family and Community etc.
17) Does your verbal communication tend to be more refined or somewhat coarse/vulgar/crude? Do you tend to gossip, or use slang or swear?
If these things are challenging, then it wouldn’t work well.
18) What kind of music and movies do you tend to listen to/watch?
My standards are pretty strict on movies. Music follows reasonably but is a little more flexible.
If these things are challenging, then it wouldn’t work well.
19) Are certain celebrities, sports players, teams, events etc. quite important to you?
I don’t care for any poor-comparison of my wife to any female on earth…including Models, Actresses, Sports figures/Olympians etc. My wife is always better. Always. Some people enjoy talking about the latest actor or sports figure in ways that I don’t find helpful…particularly in front of their spouse. It is often destructive, but the spouse says nothing for fear of being told they are “intolerant” or “jealous”. I know several individuals of fame and they aren’t the same in-person as on-film. Despite that people sometimes “fantasize” about life with that person…It is a false fantasy. I reject it.
Interestingly, if your spouse is rationally jealous of something, then that is an indication that they care deeply about you. Rational Jealousy only occurs when we care. Once we no longer care enough we lose closeness in the relationship. The Bible indicates that God is a jealous God. The Hebrew origin for that word means “possessing sensitive and deep feelings”. He truly cares about us and knows that He is the only one who can save us. He also knows that our relationship with him is damaged if that is not the case. The same could be said of the marriage relationship. If I ever discover that my spouse feels even a little rational jealousy I would want to somehow try to help close the gap versus belittle my spouse. I want her to feel like she is preeminent. Of course, irrational jealousy isn’t helpful or healthy.
If these things are challenging, then it wouldn’t work well.
20) What holidays are important for you to celebrate and in what way?
Holidays can be a blessing and a real challenge for marriages and families. I’d like to know if we can make it work well for both of us.
21) Are pets a requirement for you (in-house and/or outside)?
Some of my family have allergies to dogs/cats.
I enjoyed growing up with family/outside dogs for part of my childhood (German Shepherds and Akita) and tended neighbors' pets while they were away sometimes. When the opportunity to ride horses with others comes, I join them with delight. I enjoy animals of all kinds.
However, I haven’t had pets inside my home for many reasons. We also haven’t had outdoor pets at this point in part because they sometimes become a hassle to take care of, when there are higher priorities that demand our time.
If an indoor pet is needed it might not work well. If an outdoor pet is important we could discuss that possibility, but it might not work well.

This is at the limit of letter size...To be Continued...