summarize this: "After my divorce, I went through a poly phase. I read the books, went to some workshops, had some simultaneous "relationships" etc. Learned a ton, especially how not to be enmeshed or in codependent traps that monogamous relationships tend to get into. Now I feel inclined to choose a monogamous relationship intentionally to focus on building something stable with one person with all the communication and relating tools that the poly community teaches. It's not about poly vs mono, they both have their reasons. People promote poly because mono is the default and is often stifling and oppressive to those "stuck" in dead end marriages. But poly can be a trainwreck just as much as it can be rewarding and exciting. It depends on the people and how emotionally mature they are. I've seen a lot of women acting as empowered "goddesses" in the new age community with a handful of male orbiters all settling for crumbs of her attention. It just seems like these hot hippie chicks go to these parties and attract lots of barefoot man-bun wearing vagabonds who want to kiss her feet and will get into weird poly relationships with lots of passive aggressive manipulations going on. It all has a veneer of being "enlightened" but it's pretty fucked under the surface. People still get hurt, deny their feelings, try to cope, get tossed around in different communities, all trying to find their place. Everyone wants someone to love them but not control them. The majority of the people who did poly eventually grow out of it and want a pair bond again, they just call it a "life partner" instead. That's been my experience."