Rewrite the following text to be naughty and dirty.

NAME_1 in the flesh, or, rather, in the hazard suit. I took the liberty of relieving you of your weapons. Most of them were government property. As for the suit, I think you've earned it. The borderworld, Xen, is in our control, for the time being … thanks to you. Quite a nasty piece of work you managed over there, I am impressed. That's why I'm here, NAME_2. I have recommended your services to my … employers, and they have authorized me to offer you a job. They agree with me that you have limitless potential. You've proved yourself a decisive man so I don't expect you'll have any trouble deciding what to do. If you're interested, just step into the portal and I will take that as a yes. Otherwise, well … I can offer you a battle you have no chance of winning; rather an anticlimax after what you've just survived. Time to choose.
