"So after I finished cleaning up my cock, Eartha was already leaning over the railing for another railing! So naturally I-"

"Pierce! For the love of god, nobody wants to hear your sex stories!" Jeff Winger shouted, with his hair perfectly askewed. "Hardly any of us even want to study-" Jeff was interrupted momentarily by a small cough coming from the direction of Annie Edison, a very perky nineteen-year-old. "...Primarily because of the fact that finals have been delayed, due to Mr. Carlson bursting into flames!" Jeff finished expositing.

"Very nice work there, Jeff. When you summed up the scenario that we are all in to Pierce, who like the rest of us, is fully aware of the situation." said Abed Nadir, the human computer.

"Yeah, why did you do that Jeff? All of us know about it, so why did you take so long to explain it?" asked Britta Perry, a hippy.

"I don't have to answer that, because I'm currently walking out the door." replied the departing Winger.

and put it up here."

"So everyone is noticing that Jeff's explaining everything, right?" asked Troy Barnes, resident child. "Are we all babies now? If I cry will I get some boobs in my face? I'mma go try that outside." Troy grabbed his things and ran out of the room in tears.

"Troy! If you want some breast milk all you have to do is ask!" shouted the newly babied Shirley Bennett. Everyone remaining at the table, aside from Abed, gagged at the suggestion. "What? Oh, you are all terrible. I have it bottled."

"But your baby isn't even here," stated Britta.

"Well you never know when... Oh I don't have to take this from any of you. None of you know how hard it is to be a parent!" Shirley stuffed her things into her purse and stormed off.

"I'm beginning to notice a bit of a trend here. Everyone is coming up with very vague reasons to leave," said Abed. "This will inevitably leave only two or three of us left so that they can have some sort of adventure together."

"Hey, since Jeff is gone, can I finish my story?" asked Pierce Hawthorne, old man, finally.

"NO!" screamed Britta and Annie.

"I'm also having a very strange out of body experience," continued Abed. "It's like I'm not even here. My words are here, but I'm not. I do feel a bit of control, though. I could take part of my sentence

"Abed, are you feeling alright? I could take you to the nurse if you wanted." said Britta, attempting to be consoling.

"No, if we leave then we'll miss out on the adventure, and then I will have to do another background episode which was cool because I helped give birth but-"

"Alright, come on Abed, we're leaving. I'm taking you to Male Nurse Jackie right now." Britta stood up, placing her bag over her shoulder, and attempted to lead Abed out of the room. Abed was having none of this and tried clinging to the table, spouting various lines from buddy cop movies. Eventually, Britta had to physically drag him out, and his movie lines coalesced into a single note.

"Have you ever noticed that we study with a bunch of whackos?" asked Pierce.

"Well, they get lively, but they have good intentions." replied Annie.

"Lively? They wrestled in oil, looked at fake cocks, and had a crush on a black guy!"

"Pierce, those were all me."

"Well then you would be the kind of person who wants to hear the rest of my story. So I have Eartha bent over the railing and I'm just giving it to her. Then I pull my cock out and stick it in her-"

"PIERCE! Nobody wants to hear that!"

"But you said you did."

"You said I did! And anyway... I bet it isn't even true! You're too old... and you insult everyone... and I bet you have a small p... p-PENIS!"

"Alright, while most of that is true, I do not have a small p-penis."

"I bet you do! I bet... I bet it's really little... and that's why you always talk about sex, because you never have any!

"You want to see my penis? Cause I'll show it to you! And it isn't small at all!"

"Ew! Gross Pierce! Don't show me your- it's already out." Pierce had opened the front of his pants, and with a thump, his nine-inch cock landed on the study table.

"Well that's still small. I... I've seen bigger," Annie said, her face flushed with embarrassment.

"Bullshit, I heard the story. You fucked some queer guy in the dark, and then you saw a fake one."

"Dammit Britta! But I bet you don't know how to use it."

"I've been using this thing for fifty years! I've got more experience"

"Um, I live over a porn store, I think I know how use a penis."

"Is this the same porn store that you hide from every day'"

"Dammit Britta!!" For a short while Annie sat in her chair trying not to look at Pierce. But her curiosity got the better of her, and she slowly turned her head to admire Pierce's lower arm. After a time, Annie looked up at Pierce, who had been retelling his Eartha Kitt story, and asked him, "Can... Can I t-touch it?"

Pierce was too caught up in his story to hear what she said. "What? You're gonna miss the best part. The Maryland Piledriver!"

At this point Annie's face was completely red. "Don't make me ask it again. It's embarrassing," she said.

"Ask what again?"

"C-can... I t-touch... it?"

Pierce was taken aback by this question. Was this nubile young woman really asking him to give him an old-fashioned? This hadn't happened to him in years. There was no way that he was going to turn this down.

"Yes. Touch it. With your hand. Now."

"A... Alright." Annie slowly extended her hand, reaching it closer and closer to Pierce's manhood. Just when her hand is in reach, she extends a finger and pokes the cocky flesh. She pulls her hands back and buries her face in them giggling like a little girl. After her giggling subsided, Annie asked, "Is there anything else I can do with it? Just touching it though."

Pierce thought for a moment. "Well, I could teach you some stuff, but you'd have to do something for me first," he said.

"Alright. This could be fun! You teach me sex stuff and I'll do you favors! What do you want?" asked Annie.

"You could take off your shirt. That always helps this stuff."

"Really? I'm already embarrassed enough."

"You said you'd do what I asked. This is what I'm asking."

"...Okay." Annie scooted her chair back from the table to get a little extra room. She grabbed the bottom of her sweater and lifted it over her head, revealing her glorious C-cup breasts. "I'm leaving the bra on," she said.

"Until I teach you something else." said Pierce.

"Speaking of which, what else can I do with that penis of yours?" asked Annie.

"Well the first thing you should do is just grab it." Annie reached her hand out and squeezed Pierce's cock. "Not that hard! Jesus, Annie! Are you trying to kill me?"

"Sorry, I'm learning! What do I do now?"

"Now you just rub it up and down."

"Like this?" Annie proceeded to do as instructed. Pierce was even beginning to enjoy her awkward fumbling, until she degraded into just yanking on it.

"Ow! Okay, just stop. Let's move onto something else. What else do you want to know?"

"Well... I hear Jeff and Troy talking about blow jobs a lot, but I don't really know what those are. Do you just blow on it like the name?"

"Ha! No. That's not it at all. But, you have to do something for me first."

"Like we agreed on! I told you this would be fun! So what comes off now?"

"Pants."

"I was just joking, Pierce! God."

"Well we had an agreement..."

"Fine. You are such an old pervert." Annie stood up from her chair and, in taking off her shoes, bent over and unintentionally showed off her ass to Pierce. "Should I keep the socks on'" she asked.

Pierce, remembering the previous display, responded, "Take them off." Annie bent over again to get to her socks. This time however, Pierce reached over and put a hand on Annie's ass. Annie jumped, as was her natural reaction, but she remembered the sexual nature of the situation, and allowed him to stay. Annie got her socks off and slowly rose back up to a standing position. Pierce reached around her waist and undid her belt, as well as the button and zipper of her pants. Pierce stuck his fingers under the waistband of Annie's jeans and slowly slid them down to the ground, running his hands along her legs as he did so. This left her standing in only a bra and panties with polka-dot hearts on them.

"Well," Annie said, noticeably flustered and with her chest heaving, "shall we get started'"

"Right!" said Pierce, eagerly awaiting for a sexy young girl to suck his cock. "So the first thing you're going to want to do is get down on your knees." Annie did as instructed. "So when you give a blow job, you put the penis in your mouth and suck on it." Annie grabbed Pierce's cock and put it in her mouth and began to suck. It was the worst blow job Pierce had ever received. "No, no. That's not how you do it. Start off by just licking it." Annie began to lick the head like a lollypop. "Alright, that's better. Now try running your tongue from the base all the way to the top of it." Annie did as she was told and licked up the entire length of Pierce's cock. "Okay, you're doing better. Now this time we're going to go a bit advanced. Put it in your mouth like you did before, but run your tongue along the bottom of it and work your head up and down it." Annie did this, and Pierce was surprised when she wasn't that bad. For a beginner. Then the teeth came. "Jesus Annie! Watch it with those teeth!"

"Did that hurt? I'm sorry!" Annie apologized.

"Yes it hurt, you bit my cock!" yelled Pierce. He pulled away from Annie and took at look at his penis. There was a tiny red mark where her teeth had hit, but that wasn't the most disturbing thing happening. "I can't believe that we've done all this and I'm still not hard."

"Yeah, I was wondering about that. Is that an old thing, or do you just not think I'm pretty or something?"

"I told you I'm good at this. It is because of you, but it's only because you aren't good enough at this yet. But... I do happen to know something you can do that requires no experience at all. Take off your bra."

"Am I learning something new? Yay!" Annie quickly undid her bra as Pierce took his pants the rest of the way off and laid down on the table. He looked up and saw a sight he thought he would never see. Annie Edison, a beautiful, academic, nineteen year old girl wearing nothing but heart spotted panties. Pierce felt a twitch in his loins that he hadn't felt since the 60s. "So what do I do now'"

"Um... Now, you need to come over so that you are in between my legs right at the cock."

"Alright." Annie goes to her position.

"Now, place your breasts around my cock and squeeze them around it." Annie wrapped her tits around Pierce's cock and squeezed them hard.

"Ow, this kind of hurts!"

"Well you don't squeeze them that hard! Do it to where you're comfortable." She let up on the squeezing to where it was pleasant for everyone.

"Alright, this feels good. Now what?"

"Now, stroke it like you did with your hand."

"Oh, I was supposed to stroke it before. Why didn't you just say so? I was petting it like a cat."

"Don't think I didn't notice." Annie smacked his leg, but quickly began her work. As her breasts moved up and down Pierce's cock, he could feel the blood rushing in to fill it to maximum capacity. As his penis grew larger, Pierce noticed that it was very close to Annie's mouth. "So, Annie. Remember the blow job thing? With the licking the tip part? You should try that again." Annie looked down and saw the cock staring at her. So she bent down and pulled it into her mouth, running her tongue all over everything in reach. All this, while still working the shaft with her breasts. 

"Alright, I'm finally up. So next we should-"

"Actually Pierce, I just did you a favor out of turn, so I think you owe me one."

"Alright, what is it?" 

"Get up." Pierce did as told and got off the table.

"So is that it or..."

"Of course that isn't it. I wouldn't waste a favor on making you stand."

"So what is it?" Pierce asked.

Annie sat down on the table and pulled her panties down slightly, so that they were about halfway down her ass. Her face was flushed and her chest was heaving. Pierce took a look at her panties and saw that they were soaked.

"Fuck me." she said.

(Continue the story. Pierce fucks Annie while also licking her feet.)