Please write a short story in NAME_1's style about a 37 year old father of three named NAME_2, on the brink of his mid life crisis, who is entertaining suicidal thoughts since he saw that a high school flirt of his, named NAME_3, is now humiliating herself on social networks by praising publicly the great intelligence of NAME_2's best friend, who is called NAME_4. NAME_2 even contemplates assisted suicide in Belgium since he knows that, on top of everything, NAME_4 now adores the writer NAME_5, who is NAME_2's literary nightmare.