Write a compassionate answer to this post on the Nonduality sub-reddit, making sure you sound like a normal Redditor but with profound nondual insight: I had to put my cat down. Her health was failing and she was showing it in all sorts of different ways. She wasn't taking care of herself anymore and the vet said she had cancer, so I guess it was time. It was the hardest decision I had to make in a long time. On one hand I didn't want her to suffer any longer, and on the other hand she still had life in her so who am I to decide when she was going to go?

When she perished there were some tears that were shed and some sobbing. In the aftermath I don't want to dwell on the past and on the hurt, but I don't want to push the hurt away either. Some seeking of balance. Today there was some anxiety when lots of people expressed their sympathies.

I know that it is normal to grieve due to a loss. It is normal for me to have anxiety, historically. All of this is in the story of the me. It is only passing thoughts, emotions and happenstance.

Coming back to this ... ahh ... immediately it is a departure from that story into nothingness/beingness. Empty-fullness.

This whole game of waking up which once seemed endlessly complex is now stupidly simple. Once you know where to look it's game over. And I have been resorting to self-inquiry to keep my mind occupied when it gets busy. "Who am I?" Silence. And that's it. In that silence I am one with everything, there is no separation, no fixation on particulars - just emptiness and paradoxically fullness simultaneously.

It's so silly that we strive so hard to realize this is what we are. When it's realized it's stupidly easy. Religion, spirituality and mystical tradition exists to show us this one very obvious very basic thing which is what is primary, what comes before the separate self. It's not some special prized thing to be had. It's very ordinary. So all the looking for something special is misguided.

Anyway, basically, now that the spiritual journey is set aside I have lost the desire to cultivate positive attributes. I'm just being and still letting things unfold without clinging to them. But all in all it feels like I'm a blank slate, a story that is yet to be written. There is the possibility of greatness but no desire for it, I'm more or less relegated to whatever is ordinary, whatever is natural, whatever is spontaneous, whatever path is the path of least resistance.

There is nothing in me that is telling me to try harder. Nothing that causes regret. Nothing that worries about the future.

Endlessly starting fresh. Still diving into silence and coming out of it to mess around with thoughts and emotions, nothing feels heavy and constrained, just a playful, light, untethered zizzing around.

And I don't know. The whole spiritual pursuit feels a bit silly. It was absolutely necessary for me to do it but now it feels silly. Because the end result is nothing like what my past self wanted to get out of it, it's totally different than that, basically it lacks all of those qualities because it is the very absence of those things. They are at best side-effects and not focal points.

I think it also seems silly because of the "cosmic joke". What's the answer to life? There's no answer, nothing to seek, this lack of finality is it! Can we just admit that that's stupid? Not that it's a letdown necessarily, though it could be seen as such.

It's almost that I had the propensity to feel better when there were extreme highs countered by extreme lows and the contrast between them. This homogenous ordinary awareness is a relief from the seesaw but it lacks the seesaw! It lacks the fucking juice of separateness! The nitty-gritty dirtiness of separateness! Are you ready to give that up? Really?

I thought I was ready and now I don't know if I was. I don't miss it, but I don't know if I miss it. I can't know because I don't know anything anymore. Not knowing is the new normal. People ask me how I am and I don't know how I am. I don't know if I should say I'm good just to be polite. I don't know what's going on with the me. I've lost him. Haha. Can anyone relate?