Übersetze den folgenden Text in gut leserliches deutsch: “”"Sissy Shame and Sissy Evolution 


As transvestites and sissies, most of us have lived with shame and guilt from an early age. 


We are raised, from birth, to strive to conform to a masculine stereotype in the way we thin, act, feel and dress. 


Yet, from the moment we first slip a pair of stockings or pantyhose or panties up our legs, we are overcome by an incredible rush of girlie sensations, emotions and and thoughts that are exhilarating and arousing, yet simultaneously they trigger a sense of guilt and shame. 


We feel that there is something wrong, deviant and perverted about what we’re doing - and by that it also drowns us in such ecstatic pleasure. 


We spend many years - maybe most of our lives - in denial to enable us to fulfil the stereotype of masculinity that we feel obliged to live up to and to function in out normal daily lives and interrelationships with others. 


To reconcile our girlie urges and desires and our crossdressing with the false masculine self-image we desperately cling onto we devise rationalisations to cognitively explain away our behaviour and our visceral girlie desires.


Typically it starts with the idea that it is an “innocent curiosity”.


But why did this “curiosity” som overpower us to try on stockings and womens underwear and women’s clothes?


It is a question we don’t want to dwell on for too long because deep down inside we know we probably won’t like the answer.


We continue to use every opportunity to dress up in stockings and girlie things. Despite the shame, it just feels so good.  


We are afraid it’s becoming addictive and the risk of being caught grows and grows, but we continue to do it. 


We graduate to skirts, dresses, high heels, makeup, nail polish.


Then we become obsessed with particular looks, with particular fashions, with the of sexy styles and exhilarating fabrics.  


The more we try to indulge our curiosity, the more realise that instead of satiating it, we are arousing it further. We become insatiable.


Then we tell ourselves it’s a phase that will go away - maybe when we have our first intimate experiences with a girl or get married. 


It doesn’t. 


Typically we are attracted to women whose dress and style is similar to how we would like to dress and look. 


We soon realise that the clothes they wear only arouse or girlie urges further. 


We realise that we are more obsessed with their clothes than with their bodies. 


That frequently becomes an issue in the relationship itself when they realise we are not quite as aroused when the are undressed. 


Eventually, the gap between the rationalisation and the reality becomes too great, that no longer convince ourselves our transvestism and our girlie urges are something we will “grow out of” or that we will “lose interest in”. 


To the contrary it becomes more powerful and irresistible. It’s almost like every moment dressed in stockings, high heels and womens clothes, made up like a girl, wallowing in girlieness, is slowly but relentlessly purging any masculinity we may have replacing it with a deluge of effeminacy.


At some stage we will have started masturbating while wallowing in girlienienss in our stockings and girlie things. 


We come to find masturbation while wearing womens clothes, thinking girlie thoughts and feeling girlie emotions much more satisfying than vanilla sex with a woman. 


Progressively our who sexual identity becomes associated with us in women’s clothes and in an effeminate persona. 


It also becomes associated with the shame and guilt that we continue to feel as males trying to convince ourselves, and others, that we are “regular guys” while drowning in the delicious feel and look of ourselves in womens hosiery, lingerie and pretty dresses ands skirts. 


And of course, once we have released our sexual tensions - our sissy urges - that shame and guilt are magnified many times, because, suddenly the ecstasy, the erotic arousal, is gone. 


There is only a sticky mess in out panties or pantyhose and a feeling of self loathing.  Without the sexual arousal spent, we suddenly see ourselves not as the sexy girl we have imagined for ourselves, but as the vanilla world would see us - a pitiful male in womens clothes and makeup. 


We can’t wipe away the makeup and nail polish and get our of those clothes, that just a moment ago were the only thing that mattered to us, quickly enough. 


With the arousal gone, back in our mens clothes, trying to erase the guilt and shame, we tell ourselves we are going to stop - that with enough will power we can just be “normal” men.  


Often we purge our womens clothes and shoes and makeup, which we’ve accumulated, as a kind of punctuation mark to underscore our resolve. 


But we can’t just be “normal” men. 