(LifeWire) -- After his father was diagnosed with dementia in 1996, Anthony Lazzara Jr. faced a difficult decision: He and his wife, Gail, either could place his father, Anthony Lazzara Sr., in a facility, or they could care for him themselves. 

Anthony Lazzara Jr. (right) and his wife, Gail (left), cared for Anthony Lazzara Sr. at home for eight years. 

Unable to afford a care facility, the Lazzaras brought him home. 

So began eight long years of caring for the World War II veteran and onetime truck driver as he slowly declined -- a burden borne largely by Gail, 56. 

She fed him, bathed him and changed his diapers on a daily basis while her husband, a truck driver, was on the road. 

Slowly, she says, her marriage began to crumble. 

"I couldn't take my frustration out on my father-in-law," she says. Instead, she took it out on her husband. 

"We almost ended up divorcing over the whole deal," says Anthony Jr., 56. 

Gail concedes she considered leaving, "but I couldn't walk away from my father-in-law." 

Two years ago, the Lazzaras finally threw in the towel. A bed became available at a local Veterans Affairs facility, and the elder Lazzara was admitted. He remained there until April 2008, when he died at age 95. 

A difficult labor of love 

As the Lazzaras can attest, the stress of caring for an elderly parent can overwhelm a relationship. Chauffeuring loved ones to appointments, handling their shopping, assuming their financial burden, even just living under the same roof can test even the most committed couples. 
What choice does a family have when a member is diagnosed with dementia?
What choice did the Lazzara family make?
Who was diagnosed with dementia?
When?
Who largely bore the responsibility for his care?
How was she related to Lazzara Sr.?
What were some of her duties?
Why couldn't her husband help?
What was his career?
Did they care for Lazzara Sr. until his death?
When did they stop caring for him at home?
Where did he go, then?
At what age did he die?
In what year?
In what war had he served?
What career did he also share with his son?
Did it take a toll on the marriage between Gail and Anthony?
Did they divorce?
Are Gail and Anthony the same age?
How old are they?
Why didn't Gail leave the relationship?
place them in a facility, or care for them themselves
He and his wife, Gail, either could place his father, Anthony Lazzara Sr., in a facility, or they could care for him themselves.
cared for them at home
cared for Anthony Lazzara Sr. at home for eight years
Anthony Lazzara Sr.
After his father was diagnosed with dementia in 1996, Anthony Lazzara Jr. faced a difficult decision: He and his wife, Gail, either could place his father, Anthony Lazzara Sr.
1996
After his father was diagnosed with dementia in 1996
Gail
a burden borne largely by Gail, 56.
he was her father-in-law
"I couldn't take my frustration out on my father-in-law," she says.
She fed him, bathed him and changed his diapers
She fed him, bathed him and changed his diapers
he was on the road
her husband, a truck driver, was on the road.
truck driver
her husband, a truck driver,
no
Two years ago, the Lazzaras finally threw in the towel.
Two years ago
Two years ago, the Lazzaras finally threw in the towel
a local Veterans Affairs facility
 A bed became available at a local Veterans Affairs facility, and the elder Lazzara was admitted.
95
he died at age 95. 
2008
 April 2008
World War II
the World War II veteran
truck driver
onetime truck driver
yes
lowly, she says, her marriage began to crumble. 
no
"We almost ended up divorcing over the whole deal," says Anthony Jr., 56. 
yes
Gail, 56. 

She fed him, bathed him and changed his diapers on a daily basis while her husband, a truck driver, was on the road. 

Slowly, she says, her marriage began to crumble. 

"I couldn't take my frustration out on my father-in-law," she says. Instead, she took it out on her husband. 

"We almost ended up divorcing over the whole deal," says Anthony Jr., 56. 
56
Gail, 56. 

She fed him, bathed him and changed his diapers on a daily basis while her husband, a truck driver, was on the road. 

Slowly, she says, her marriage began to crumble. 

"I couldn't take my frustration out on my father-in-law," she says. Instead, she took it out on her husband. 

"We almost ended up divorcing over the whole deal," says Anthony Jr., 56. 
she couldn't walk away from her father-in-law
I couldn't walk away from my father-in-law." 