Los Angeles (CNN) -- You wouldn't have expected Charlie Sheen to go quietly after his increasingly bizarre behavior prompted his TV bosses to fire him from "Two and a Half Men," and Sheen would not want to disappoint you. 

He spewed an eight-and-a-half-minute, grandiloquent, profanity-laced tirade online late Tuesday, a day after he was sacked. 

At first Sheen comes across like a college student who's read too much of the Beat writers Jack Kerouac or Allen Ginsberg, referring to himself as the "raven-wise, Gibson-shredding napalm poet before you, alone and unshackled. 

"Oh how they once begged to attend my perfect banquet in the nude," Sheen intones. "Now they just beg for the keys to my gold." 

He calls himself the "Malibu Messiah" and repeatedly refers to himself as a warlock. 

But, clearly reading a prepared speech in video recorded live on Ustream.com, Sheen goes on long enough to make it hard for viewers to laugh off his rant. 

Chuck Lorre, the creator of the program that starred Sheen for eight years, comes in for the greatest abuse. 

"I see you, you little worm, I see you behind your plastic smile, your bitchy pout, and your desperate need to be liked," Sheen says, calling the TV executive "Chuck E. Cheese Ball," not using Lorre's full name. 

He accuses Lorre of "narcissism, greed (and) hatred of yourself -- or women," one of several moments in the video that should give armchair psychiatrists plenty of material to mine. 

He says of CBS chief executive Les Moonves: "You gave me your word so you gave me nothing. It must really suck being your missus," again mangling the name. 
Who made a rant on Tuesday?
What happened a day before this?
What prompted his firing?
What poets does the writer compare him to?
Any others?
What instrument does Sheen claim to "shred?"
In what condition does he assert guests wanted to go to his banquet?
What does he think they grovel for?
What nickname has he given himself?
What mystic vocation does he claim to belong to?
On what platform did he issue this rant?
Did it seem impromptu?
Was it easy for viewers to laugh off?
Who was the creator of the show he got fired from?
Who was the primary target of his ravings?
What animal did Sheen compare him to?
And what nickname did Sheen grant him?
How did he characterize Lorre's smile?
And what character flaws did he accuse Lorre of possessing?
Does he feel the CBS chief's wife is happy being married to him?
Charlie Sheen
Sheen would not want to disappoint you. 

He spewed an eight-and-a-half-minute, grandiloquent, profanity-laced tirade online late Tuesday
he was fired
a day after he was sacked. 
his increasingly bizarre behavior
 his increasingly bizarre behavior prompted his TV bosses to fire him
Jack Kerouac
 writers Jack Kerouac or Allen Ginsberg, referring to himself as the "raven-wise, Gibson-shredding napalm poet before you, alone and unshackled. 
Allen Ginsberg
 the Beat writers Jack Kerouac or Allen Ginsberg, referring to himself as the "raven-wise, Gibson-shredding napalm poet before you, alone and unshackled. 
Gibson
Gibson-shredding
nude
Oh how they once begged to attend my perfect banquet in the nude
keys to my gold."
Now they just beg for the keys to my gold." 
Malibu Messiah
He calls himself the "Malibu Messiah"
a warlock
 refers to himself as a warlock
Ustream.com
 reading a prepared speech in video recorded live on Ustream.com
no
clearly reading a prepared speech 
no
Sheen goes on long enough to make it hard for viewers to laugh off his rant. 
Chuck Lorre
Chuck Lorre, the creator of the program that starred Sheen
Chuck Lorre
Chuck Lorre, the creator of the program that starred Sheen for eight years, comes in for the greatest abuse
a worm
I see you, you little worm
Chuck E. Cheese Ball
Sheen says, calling the TV executive "Chuck E. Cheese Ball
as plastic
your plastic smile
narcissism and greed
He accuses Lorre of "narcissism, greed (and) hatred of yourself -- or women,
no
 It must really suck being your missus," again mangling the name.