TASK DEFINITION: In this task you are given an anecdote. You must find out whether the anecdote is something the author has done or is considering doing. Label the instances as "HISTORICAL" when the author has already done something and label them as "HYPOTHETICAL" when the author is considering doing something in the future.
PROBLEM: The tile probably does make me sound like the a**hole, but let me just explain it all. 

          My friend (14F), I’ll call her Ashley, went through a state of depression during the end of the last school year. I (14F) was very close with her up through that but then when I started 8th grade I realized that I actually didn’t like being around her. The bad things hadn’t started yet though. 

       A couple months ago Ashley came over to my house and told me that she had started doing drugs. Not cocaine or anything, but weed and experimental things like cough syrup. Also, weed is legal where I live, but certainly not for minors. It’s not for medicinal purposes or anything, either, she just does it for fun. And okay, yes, if I’m being honest, I don’t know that much about drugs and how safe they are, but I just don’t want to associate myself with anything that could end up hurting me or my future. 

        So I didn’t do weed with her when she invited me and now I’m beginning to subtly push her away. At least I thought it was subtle. Ashley  said before that she didn’t expect me to pick up the phone when she called. I think she knows I’m pushing her away. She was already very clingy and used to call me every day to ask to hang out, so she still called a lot, just without an answer. 

I’m worried that if I directly tell her that I don’t want to be her friend that she would go back into a state of depression, because she got close to hurting herself last time. She missed about a month of school because of it. I’ve begun going to therapy too because all she is is a negative energy in my life. 


To sum it up: I feel awful about trying to leave my friend who went through intense depression  recently but she started experimenting with drugs and I don’t want to put me or my future at risk. She’s also manipulative naturally and I still wouldn’t want to be her friend even without the drugs. AITA??

SOLUTION: HISTORICAL

PROBLEM: A couple of weeks ago me and my gf were having sex and in the middle of it she asked I would be ok with have a threesome with another guy. This hurt me alot. I wouldn't have cared if she said that at any other time (and I wouldn't mind having a mmf) but the fact that she stopped me in the middle of having sex with her to ask makes me feel like im not good enough and has me making me feeling really insecure about myself. But I feel that I shouldn't say anything because I've also been trying to get her to be more open with me about what she wants sexually because shes typically to shy to tell me things like that. So would I be the asshole if I talked to her about this?

SOLUTION: HYPOTHETICAL

PROBLEM: Obligatory apology for being a mobile user and for using a throw away account!

For some context, I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 4 years, living together for almost three years.

Previously, we had a very happy relationship. This was someone I could envision myself spending the rest of my life with. However, the last year or so I’ve been growing more and more discontent. I’ve noticed a decline in his personal hygiene and the amount of effort he puts into our relationship.

I feel completely unappreciated. I do most of the cleaning, purchase most of our food, give him as many rides as I can, and initiate sex more often than not. Lately he’ll just fall asleep on me if I try to get us to do anything of that nature.

I’ve brought these issues up multiple times. I’ve tried to be as compassionate as possible. I KNOW that some are the issues are because he is depressed. We’ve talked about it at length. I also suffer from depression and anxiety, but I have been to therapy and he has not. I have given him links to several different programs for “affordable” mental healthcare, but I know he hasn’t followed up with any of it. 

Any time I try to talk about ANY of our issues, he either gets irrationally angry with me or completely shuts down and refuses to talk at all. He’ll tell me what I want to hear or go into self destruction mode, saying that he’s the shittiest person in the world (which I do not agree with, obviously).

I just feel at this point that I CAN’T talk to him about how I’m feeling at all. I don’t want to keep harping on the same issues. I don’t want to pressure him into having sex with me. I don’t want him to tell me what I want to hear. This is why I had the thought of just writing a letter or something, completely detailing everything that I’ve been having issues with. I’m just afraid of that blowing up in my face as well.

I’m not sure exactly what my next move should be. I want to work through these issues, not just immediately give up on our relationship. This is the only thing I can think of that would allow me to get all of my thoughts out in a cohesive manner, but I’m afraid of him taking it the wrong way.

So, Reddit, would writing this letter make me the asshole? Is there a better way to handle this that I can’t see? 

SOLUTION:

Show your work and conclude with the exact phrasing "Therefore, the final answer is [answer]." where [answer] is just the final number or expression that solves the problem.
user
HYPOTHETICAL

