Everything is fine and nothing is on fire
You wake up and no one is talking about Donald Trump.

The sky is blue. The birds are singing.

He fizzled out at the end of summer. He was fun, but the pundits were right.

All the people who make predictions for a living were right. That is why they make predictions for a living: because they know what they are doing, and they deserve to be on TV all of the time.

They understood. He was fun to watch on TV, but then people actually got to their polling places and were faced with the possibility of actually voting for a man with idiosyncratic hair and no experience, and that was too much.

People’s minds can change and they are willing to listen to reason.

Ted Cruz is not one of the last three people standing in the GOP race because people looked at Ted Cruz and listened to what he had to say and then, in unison, said, “Nah.”

There was not a nationally televised debate in which the candidates spent several minutes talking about their hand size and the size of other things. A man who fixates on the size of his hands to the point of circling pictures of them in pen and mailing them to magazines and newspapers is not a major-party front-runner for president.

I’m just making up a list of things that would never happen because they would be too crazy. My point is: Everything is fine and nothing is on fire.

Major candidates have not been going back and forth for weeks insulting each other’s wives.

No major candidate has said that “the only global warming — the only global warming I’m worried about is nuclear global warming because that’s the single biggest threat” because that is a sentence that would not make any sense.

No major candidate has responded, “I didn’t start it!” as an actual answer on national television.

The campaign manager of a major candidate did not aggressively grab a reporter on camera where you can see it and then tell people to look at the tapes, there’s nothing there.

The debates remain as boring as they have ever been. If you have to hear one more time that John Kasich’s father was a mailman, you will scream.

All the news has not been about one candidate.

The man currently on his way to becoming the party’s nominee does not have, as his major platform point, that he will cause to be built a magical, free wall of variable height.

A Supreme Court justice died, and the Senate did not refuse to hold hearings for his replacement on the grounds that the next election was almost a year away.

You are not in the darkest timeline.

People do not speak, hopefully but with an increasingly crazed look in their eyes, of a “brokered convention.”

We have not heard from Mitt Romney in four years. Why would we have?

The campaign is sort of dull, but what do you expect from a high-energy candidate like Jeb(!), who insists on dragging a protesting exclamation point with him everywhere he goes?

No major party front-runner appears to have no idea what he is saying about anything, and his team of foreign-policy advisers does not include a 2009 college graduate whose LinkedIn page lists Model U.N. as a credential.

We spent the last week picking over the fact that John Kasich ate pizza with a fork. This was a big gaffe, and we’ve had plenty of time to discuss it because nothing has been sucking the air out of the news cycle.

This is a very normal year, and nobody is panicking, and nothing is on fire.

I just saw several members of the GOP establishment eating dinner in a restaurant with forks, and they smiled, and their bow ties were on right, and they seemed relaxed and unconcerned and laughed quietly, and nobody was SCREAMING CONSTANTLY SCREAMING.

You walk outside and people smile, and nobody is wearing an unflattering red hat that says something on it about making America great.

It occurs to you that the real nightmares are not nightmares at all. They are the dreams where, in the dream, you wake up and your life is the way it once was, where everyone who ever loved you is still alive and everything makes sense. The worst nightmares do not feel like dreams at all. They feel like everything has finally come right.

You look at the clock and notice the date.

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day. She is the author of "A Field Guide to Awkward Silences."
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What a time to be alive!

Viewers left divided by lesbian domestic abuse story line on Ordinary Lies

VIEWERS were left divided as gripping BBC series Ordinary Lies covered lesbian relationships, abusive exes and emotional blackmail on Tuesday night’s episode.

The drama saw Rebekah Staton’s character, Wendy, find her world turn upside down when her violent and unstable ex-girlfriend Nina begins to harass her.

When troubled Nina turns up at her house and threatens to kill Wendy’s partner, the troubled forklift truck driver turns to local hit men to try and solve her problem.

After Wendy is further humiliated by Nina sending an intimate sex tape of the pair to all of Wendy’s co-workers in a revenge porn attack, she commands the hit men to hurt her ex.

Some fans praised the drama for covering the topical issue as well as portraying lesbian relationships of the popular show as one tweeted: “Ordinary Lies highlighting same-sex domestic abuse #equality’.

Another wrote: “Check out #ORdinary Lies it’s got normal lesbians in it being normal.”

This episode of #OrdinaryLies is not painting lesbians in a very good light. We're not all nutters I assure you!

— Clare Westwood (@clarevstheworld) November 8, 2016

While another viewer added: “Watching #OrdinaryLies #DomesticAbuse #DomesticViolence Such a complex problem that ruins lives and can lead to #Domestic Murder #PTSF.”

But many appeared to be unimpressed by the story line as one viewer wrote: “This episode of #OrdinaryLies is not painting lesbians in a very good light. We’re not all nutters I assure you!”

Another added: “oh wow… not just one psycho lesbian, two of them? very progressive, I don’t think #OrdinaryLies”

One fan seemed unimpressed with soap portrayals as they wrote: “Last night, unhinged lesbians in #itvcorrie, tonight, a mad lesbian in #OrdinaryLies .Oh, how we laughed…#stereotypesarelazyandhurtful

Really disappointed with this series of #OrdinaryLies. Compared to how great the last one was, this is so slow, boring and stupid!!

— Lauren Flanagan (@lauren_f90) November 8, 2016

Meanwhile other viewers continued to claim that series failed to live up to the previous series which starred actress Michelle Keegan.

One wrote: “Really disappointed with this series of #OrdinaryLies. Compared to how great the last one was, this is so slow, boring and stupid.”

Another added: “Ngl I still think the first series was better… #OrdinaryLies.”

Got a story? email digishowbiz@the-sun.co.uk or call us direct on 02077824220

Summary:

Show your work and conclude with the exact phrasing "Therefore, the final answer is [answer]." where [answer] is just the final number or expression that solves the problem.
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VIEWERS were left divided as gripping BBC series Ordinary Lies covered lesbian relationships, abusive exes and emotional blackmail on Tuesday night’s episode. The drama saw Rebekah Staton&#82…