In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a short summary for this text. The summary must include a situation which caused humor. The summary should be one or two sentences long.
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Question: Text: i have two (mostly indoor) dogs that i put outside last night.  i figured i'd let them in and get them in safe spots before the fireworks/gunshots of the nye celebrations freaked them out.  then i started playing laserbait on the vive.  

next thing i know, there's a giant explosion that shakes the house.  it's the next door neighbors shooting off big fireworks.  crap, it's already midnight.  i go to let the dogs in, and the german shepherd runs in crazy, scared and barking.  i finally manage to manhandle her into her crate and go to get the other dog.  she's nowhere to be found.  i grab my phone, install a flashlight app and search around the yard in case she's quivering in a corner somewhere.  i don't see any way she could have gotten out, but she's definitely not there.

i spend 45 min walking up and down the street, in the cold in my pajamas, dodging drunk and belligerent college students from the apartments down the street, calling her name.  all to no avail.  spend another hour driving around searching, no luck.

decide to call it a night around 2am, and lie in bed, unable to sleep.  i'm worried about the dog and plus i don't have my sleeping buddy (she sleeps next to my legs at night).  i keep getting up every time i hear a sound, thinking maybe she's returned and is scratching to get in.

i finally manage to get 2-3 hours of sleep before my roommate/daughter's mother wakes me up to go look some more.  so we drive around for another hour, still no sign.  i'm not looking forward to when my daughter gets home from her sleepover.

i also found out how she got out.  in a noise induced frenzy she must have rammed a corner of the fence hard enough to knock a board loose where it attaches to the garage.  that allowed the whole fence to tilt a bit and gave her enough room to squeeze her fat ass out of it.  it's now propped up well enough to keep the other dog from getting out for now.

it's just 2017 letting me know that it's planning on one-upping 2016 in terms of shittiness.

 

update:

just got a call, she turned up 700 miles away wedged in a tractor-trailer engine.  rip sweet dots, you'll be missed.   [pic](http://imgur.com/a/ii8ti)

Answer: forgot to let dogs in before nye bangs began, dog died.


Question: Text: this happened these last few days, so "this week i fucked up".   

i have a lot of flash drives. i get some for free from work (i fix computers) and as bundles with computer components that i order for myself and customers. they give them out like candy. because of this, i tend to just grab a random one when i want to transfer something, be that an install package for a new computer fix or in this case... one of my porn folders.  usually i cut/paste those when i'm moving them around, usually to my laptop connected to the tv. 

fast forward to the fuck up: i gave my cousin one for school (she's a junior in high school) since her old 2gb one was garbage.  yesterday morning i get a call from her freaking out that the thing has a bunch of my little pony porn on it and she thinks shes carrying around a bunch of illegal files on campus.  i half pretend it must have been infected and half tell her cartoon porn isn't illegal and to stop freaking out and just delete it.  she threw it away apparently, but hasn't texted me back or answered any calls since then. 

i've been sitting here wondering where this will lead.  i'm guessing she didn't buy my infected excuse.  as someone with a relatively conservative yet large family that loves it's gossip at the same time, i doubt it's going to stay quiet.  hopefully my endless kindness at giving her the drive in the first place will stop her from blabbering.

Answer: wipe your flash drives before giving them to people and stop clopping to cartoon horses.


Question: Text: so like many others this happened a bit of time ago.. but this happened at night and i was leaving a parking lot with a few of my friends in the car. as i exit this truck pulls in and bright lights me! this happened to me a lot, i guess my dims were brighter than most? anyway.. i immediately make a u-turn get behind this son-of-a-bitch and start honking and bright-lighting the hell out of this dude. i follow him all through the parking lot until he parks and i continue my tirade! when i feel i have sufficiently made my point i pull away back to the exit once more.. all of this to realize as i pull out ... that my headlights were off... so i'm like, "oh.. my lights are off" to which one of my friends responds.. "you're a fucking dumb ass" i have never felt more ashamed in my life and still do to this day.. this poor old man had been trying to warn me.. uhg!

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Answer:

Show your work and conclude with the exact phrasing "Therefore, the final answer is [answer]." where [answer] is just the final number or expression that solves the problem.
user
guy tried to warn me my lights were off while driving at night and i probably ensured that he will never help another person ever again..


