Given the task definition, example input & output, solve the new input case.
In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a short summary for this text. The summary must include a situation which caused humor. The summary should be one or two sentences long.
Example: Text: quick backstory: i am a duel enrollment student (still in high school but goes to college full-time) and don't have my license so i bike home. 

now let's get to the fuck up. i was riding down the sidewalk and up ahead was a golf cart blocking the way. the man who was using kindly moved it out of my so i could get past. as i go by, i give him the nod and say "thank you" just to be courteous.  well he didn't really give me that much space so as i was saying thank you, my goes into the grass and i quickly try to readjust, resulting in my tire hitting the side of the sidewalk and me falling off my bike. i looked like a complete dumbass and just laughed to myself and kept riding.  luckily, i don't take myself too seriously, so i wasn't that embarrassed.
Output: said thank you, fell off my bike.
This summary is appropriate for the given text post because the focus of this post is about a humorous situation caused by "thanking someone and later falling off from the bike".

New input case for you: Text: this happened today around 3 in the fucking am. first off i have narcolepsy and take medication to sleep. for some reason i thought it would be a good idea to boil some eggs. eggs boiled and eaten. immediately start vomiting eggs through my nose and mouth. i bump up against the door and set off the alarm. i live with my uncle who's very hard of hearing. at some point i smack my face on a granite counter top pushing back some of my bottom teeth. (fucking great) so now the phone rings from the alarm company, i don't know the password so i go into my uncles room with the phone. he keeps a gun on his night stand. i open door and he puts two rounds in the wall next to my head. (maaawp, maaawp) *tinnitis* i hand my uncle the phone and he clears things up, but the cops still come. my ears are still ringing.
Output:

Show your work and conclude with the exact phrasing "Therefore, the final answer is [answer]." where [answer] is just the final number or expression that solves the problem.
user
i slept walked, fucked up my teeth, puked eggs, set off home alarm, and my uncle almost shot me in the face.