In this task you are given an anecdote. You must find out whether the anecdote is something the author has done or is considering doing. Label the instances as "HISTORICAL" when the author has already done something and label them as "HYPOTHETICAL" when the author is considering doing something in the future.
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Question: *All included names are fictitious, but the situation is too real*

Back in August, I introduced my roommate and longtime friend Joey to my friend Monica, whom I met in a class we shared in the spring semester.

It didn't take long for Joey to develop a very strong crush on Monica, and they've already gone on a handful of dates. However, unbeknownst to Joey, his feelings for Monica are unrequited.

In my private discussions with Monica and Joey, I've gleaned some very important details about the situation.

1. Monica is aware that Joey "probably" has feelings for her, but they've both been very passive about discussing their relationship. She's been waiting for Joey to confess his interest in her so that she could let him down. So it looks like for better or worse, she's been stringing him along for at least four months.

2. Joey has told me in no uncertain terms that he likes Monica. In fact, he's already begun to refer the two of them as a couple despite it not ever having been communicated.

3. Monica has feelings for me. And damn it all, I can't conceal my emotions too well. I'm pretty sure she knows that I like her too just from how much I blush with every little hint (read: very obvious sign) she gives me. I'm pretty sure it's because she likes me that she doesn't like Joey.

I'm not the type to go behind someone's back. I've already relayed all the information I've listed here and more to Joey. I made it clear to him that I have feelings for Monica and that it's likely that she actually has feelings for me. His reaction has been expectedly poor, basically outright denial.

I've encouraged Joey to talk to Monica about the situation, but he still hasn't, probably for fear of rejection. It's been about six weeks already and two weeks ago, I made him an ultimatum: In a week's time, I would talk to Monica about the situation to get things straightened out if Joey didn't do it himself.

As you can guess from the wording, I still haven't talked to Monica about it despite saying that I would. I really want Joey to get the closure he needs by doing it himself, because I'm sure the whole situation is painful enough and I don't want to hurt his feelings any more than they already are.

That being said, I don't want to continue to put this part of my life on hold for the sake of Joey's feelings. I feel like I've waited long enough and said everything that I could to be as transparent as possible about everything.

So with all this in mind (and more, if you need more information), would I be the asshole if I made a move on Monica?

Answer: HYPOTHETICAL


Question: My sister wants to host a family potluck / grill out at her house. I'm all about potlucks and I'm totally down to make something tasty for my family.

Only problem is that everyone living in the house, 7 people including 4 young children, is a total fucking slob. It's literally disgusting all the time: every square inch of table and counter space is covered in random shit, there's never soap or hand towels in the bathroom, they don't vacuum ever, the inside of the microwave has never been cleaned, you have to step over or make a path through all the toys and mess on the ground, etc.

Basically, my family is trash and they make no effort to hide it. It's so bad that I'm literally embarrassed to bring my gf to my family's house.

I want to tell my sister to have their house cleaned up before we visit next week. Am I being unreasonable?


Answer: HYPOTHETICAL


Question:            My roommate is a nice dude, a bit awkward like myself, and he is a huge night owl. By night owl I mean he falls asleep during the day (often drifting off from exhaustion) because he lies in his bed and does all his homework and plays video games there during the day. I have a pretty good friendship with him and he is a good roommate most of the time, and we are both pretty understanding.  

          But he comes into the room during the night because his coffee maker is in here and he slams the door and his coffee maker is loud as shit. This would be fine if a) it didn’t happen every 2 hours during the time when I am trying to sleep and b) I wasn’t such a light sleeper and didn’t have trouble falling back asleep. 

         Would I be the asshole if I suggest that he 

a)stop coming into our room at night

or b) adjust his own (atrocious) sleep schedule

or c) take his coffee machine with him 
(It’s definitely portable, could fit in a backpack easily with plenty of room) at the beginning of the night so that he doesn’t come back and forth into the room every 2 hours?

    Which of the three would make me the smallest asshole? 

Answer:

Show your work and conclude with the exact phrasing "Therefore, the final answer is [answer]." where [answer] is just the final number or expression that solves the problem.
user
HYPOTHETICAL


