You will be given a definition of a task first, then some input of the task.
In this task, you are given a Reddit post as a text. Your task is to generate a short summary for this text. The summary must include a situation which caused humor. The summary should be one or two sentences long.

Text: based on the recent posts of tifu about a burnt vagina and sack, i figured you guys would enjoy this story. 

happened several years back but basically when i was 12-13 years old i was watching a show on ytv and a host got me feeling like i needed a good ol' wank. i switched the channel over to family guy and during one of the flashbacks it had two guys in an office talking, where one of which said something along the lines of "i'm gonna go microwave a bagel and stick my dick in it." my juiced up horny little underdeveloped brain thought the idea was genius. must feel like the *real deal.* 

faster than flash gordon i grabbed a plain bagel and microwaved it. not thinking about the extremely hot bagel in my hand, i was hard as a rock, so i stuck in my cock and **bam** it hit me like my dick just got chomped on by a shark. worst part was that i couldn't fap for a week after.

 

also for legitimacy purposes i posted about the event once in an ask reddit a year or two ago, also my user id...

edit: spelling... on mobile
Output:

Show your work and conclude with the exact phrasing "Therefore, the final answer is [answer]." where [answer] is just the final number or expression that solves the problem.
user
tried to fuck a scalding hot bagel, ended up getting fucked up.