"Who needs women when you got good beer and like six other guys" ~some drunk guy 
Before you go on, close your eyes and picture yourself frolicking in the rolling hills of Italian wine country. Don't actually close your eyes though, since you can't read this description without looking at it, unless you activate text reading software to read this out loud to you, in which case you can close your eyes and just pretend the awkward bristly robot-y voice is actually my smooth sensual voice, but I'm also eating at the same time, which is somehow strangely endearing. My name is Jonathan Edward Crockett, but you can call me chaloopa. Yes, like that crunchy taco thing you get at taco bell, and also the nickname of that hot Mexican chick i had a crush on in high school. Mostly the taco bell thing though. Anyways, welcome to my profile. Your welcome.
Paso Robles, California