was insultingme by offering such paltry sums compared to what I needed or expected.
As my financial problems grew, so did my desperation. And I certainlywasn't comforted by anything I saw going on around me. But I still held onto the belief that I could trade out of these difficulties. That is until March1982; by then it was all over. A mere eight months after moving to Chicagoto pursue my dreams of financial independence, I had nothing left exceptmy job, apartment, clothes, a television, and a bed.
Practically overnight, almost all the symbols that validated my identitywere gone. What I mean is, a big part of my self-concept was made up of mypossessions like my house, my car, and especially my credit. Maintainingflawless credit was something I had always been proud of. Now I foundmyself without any of these things. As I've already pointed out, it's not asif there hadn't been plenty of evidence to suggest the possibility of thishappening, because there had been. But there was a part of me thatwouldn't allow a direct confrontation with this evidence or the implications.It was just too easy to make excuses for all the things going on around methat didn't add up.
Refusing to confront or consider the implications of all the conflictinginformation created a great deal of stress. And to compound the situation, Ihad this intense fear that I would lose everything. But again, I dideverything possible to hide this fear and put it somewhere in my mindwhere I couldn't feel it. Yet, there must have been a part of me that sensedmy impending fall. Why else would I have been so consumed with fear?But how could I face any of this when I had no way of reconciling theimbalance that losing all of these things would create? What I mean is theimbalance between what I believed about myself and the things thatvalidated these beliefs. Who would I be after all these things were gone?
Well it didn't take me very long to find out. As my financial conditiondeteriorated to critical levels, my mental defenses also began to breakdown. I eventually accepted the inevitability of doing what I believed wasthe ultimate act of failure and filed for bankruptcy.
There were a lot of things that changed inside of me as a result of thisexperience. And like any one else forced to deal with major changes in hisor her life, I learned a lot about myself. The first thing that happened, whichwas quite surprising, was that the stress dissipated. Actually I wasovercome with a great sense of relief with nothing to anticipate, dread, or tryso desperately to defend against. I was living through my worst fear andfound there really wasn't anything about the situation that I couldn't dealwith. It wasn't nearly as bad in reality as I imagined it would be. I was stillalive and healthy, I was able to think and function, and I started to appreciatemy ability to think as my greatest asset.
This sense of appreciation began to grow into a deeper level ofunderstanding about the basic nature of my identity. For the most part, Igrew up believing that who I was consisted of the things that I owned. The
20more possessions I owned, the more of a person it made me. What I beganto realize is that | was more than the things I had accumulated. When thefacade was stripped away, it allowed me to sense this deeper dimensionthat, up to this point, I had only the slightest inkling of These newawarenesses, in turn, helped me understand how being wrong and losingsomething didn't in any way diminish me as a person. I was beginning tolearn that there was a certain freedom in granting myself permission to bewrong and maybe there was no such thing as a failure, unless somethingpositive and useful isn't learned from the experience.
However, I didn't relate these personal experiences because I thoughtthey were particularly unusual, except for one. Everyone knows there aremany traders who lose everything they own, and even though some ofthem will come to the same kind of awarenesses about themselves, theywouldn't necessarily be able to do it as a trader, considering the financialrequirements. I, too, was not in a financial position to keep on trading,except that I still had my job at Merrill Lynch. In fact, for me it wasbusiness as usual, as if nothing at all had happened. I certainly wasn'tabout to announce to my customers or anyone in the office that I hadjust filed for bankruptcy. My job as an account executive was one of thefew things I had left, and as far as I was concerned, it depended on mebeing a good trader.
This is the one key difference for me that ultimately lead to the creationof this book. I was fortunate enough to be able to keep on trading (althoughnot with my own money) while these major psychological changes weretaking place, putting me in a unique position to examine and study thevarious ways in which the condition of my inner psychologicalenvironment affected what I experienced in the outer physical environment.
This relationship between inner and outer isn't always that apparent but inthis situation it was inescapable. I learned that the markets offer the traderan opportunity to profit from price movement, and these opportunities arebasically in perpetual motion. It is an environment where the individualhas the freedom to create his own results, unimpeded by many of theconstraints that exist in everyday social life. These never endingopportunities make the market a perfect mirror of the trader's attitude.What the trader sees in that movement and what he can do about it themarkets have no control over. All the choices and all the power to turnthese choices into experience reside in the mind of each trader.
For example, if I perceived the market as a threat, afraid of what it mighttake away from me, it wasn't because the outside conditions were actuallythreatening me in some way. It became very apparent to me that my fear wasa result of my inability to anticipate events or act in a way that mostappropriately served my best interests. It was only the lack of trust I had inmyself to do what needed to be done that I was really afraid of.
Furthermore, I discovered that my mental framework was structured toavoid losses at all costs and in my desperate attempts to do so, I actually
21created them. You can think of it this way: none of us has the mentalcapacity to be aware of everything going on in the environment at once.The environmental information we focus our attention on, out of all thatexists, will be the information that has the most importance to us. As weallocate more and more of our attention to certain kinds of information,because of its importance, we are at the same time systematically excludingother types of information from our awareness. I created my losses insteadof avoiding them simply because I was trying to avoid them.
Instead of being positively focused on market information that wouldindicate the potential for opportunity, I was more concerned withinformation that validated what I feared the most. As a result, a great deal ofmarket information pertaining to other possibilities and opportunities thatexisted in any given moment completely escaped my attention, passing meby. The only way I could have perceived these opportunities (other thanafter the fact) would have been to let go of whatever was causing me todivert my attention away from what was happening in the market "now."
I had no way of knowing what I was missing out on until my beliefsabout the significance of losses and being wrong started changing. Oncethis shift in perspective occurred, I started to notice behavior characteristicsof the market and relationships between those characteristics that I wasotherwise totally oblivious to.
At some point, I realized that because I had already lost everything, Ireally didn't have anything to fear, and, as a result, I inadvertently learnedone of the most important lessons to becoming a successful trader: how to"accept" a loss without any negative consequences. No guilt, anger, shame,or self-punishment.
As my fear of losing dissipated, I was seeing and experiencing a differentmarket because I was different. It was as if someone had removed blinders,which I didn't know existed, from my eyes. Up till then, my trading hadalways been affected by my fears. I didn't have the slightest notion of whatit would be like to trade without fear or that doing it was even a possibilityand least of all, that it was, in fact, necessary to be successful.
What also became very apparent to me was the extent to which all ofmy fears had effectively blocked me from understanding why it was soabsolutely necessary to have some clearly defined trading and moneymanagement rules that must be followed. It was all starting to make sense.The more I followed my rules the more I trusted myself. The more Itrusted myself the more I could focus my attention on subtle relationshipsin the market's behavior to learn new things about the market helping mebecome a better trader. Eventually I could gauge the positive effects thesenew attitudes had on my ability to shift my perspective and flow with themarkets. The less I cared about whether or not I was wrong, the clearerthings became, making it much easier to move in and out of positions,cutting my losses short to make myself mentally available to take the nextopportunity.
22By June 1982 I was starting to make consistent money for my customerswho relied on me for their trades. Not a lot of money by most trader'sstandards, but steady. I was having winning days that were turning intowinning weeks and months. Then sometime in August 1982 I thought ofwriting a book or at the very least developing a seminar to explain to othertraders what I had discovered for myself.
In the area of education there was a definite void in the market. Therereally wasn't any material that addressed trading psychology at a deepenough level of insight to effectively help someone understand why successwas so elusive. I wrote this book to address what I believe is a critical needfor people who want to trade the futures of stock markets to have anorganized, systematic, step-by-step approach to learn the mental skillsnecessary to accumulate wealth as a trader. The secret to this approach islearning a new thinking methodology.
23CHAPTER 2
Why a New ThinkingMethodology?
It is my intention in this chapter to demonstrate clearly how a typical socialupbringing that instills in the individual certain values and beliefs that make up athought methodology used for being successful is not practical or functional andis inconsistent with the methods necessary to be successful in the tradingenvironment. Someone attempting to operate in the trading environment in allthe familiar ways that would assure getting what they want will likely findthemselves in a constant state of frustration, anxiety, and fear, wondering what iswrong or thinking something must be wrong with them.
The irony is, of course, that, on the surface, trading looks so simple, when infact most people will find it to be the most difficult endeavor they ever undertake.Success will always seem so close, and yet always so elusive. And this frustrationwill continue until the trader adapts to the conditions that exist in the tradingenvironment by learning a new thinking methodology, one that works mosteffectively in that environment and not what he thinks will work based on hiscultural and social upbringing.
Perhaps many of you reading this book have heard about a seminar beingoffered where you can learn how to walk barefoot over a 20-foot bed of red-hot coals. The people who developed the method to make it possible did soon the assumption that the achievements of people who do things very welland excel beyond what other members of the same culture of society wouldconsider possible do so as the result of a specific way they think—amethodology in which their beliefs are in some way different from everyoneelse's. This methodology can be broken down into a system that can be
24learned and subsequently taught to others. The only difference betweenthose who excel and those of mediocre achievement is that one group haslearned a thinking methodology that has not occurred to the other.
With this hypothesis, it is my understanding that the people whodeveloped the program went to the South Pacific and sought out thosewho demonstrated an ability to walk over hot coals with their bare feet—without any physical damage whatsoever. Upon finding a few of these SouthPacific "fire-walkers," the program developers proceeded to analyze theirbeliefs and attitudes so as to arrive at a thinking methodology they couldteach in the United States.
I'm sure I don't have to point out the physical and emotionalimplications of attempting to walk over a red-hot bed of coals with yourbare feet. The fear generated over just the thought of doing it wouldnormally be overwhelming. The potential physical damage to your feet—with the possibility of being crippled for the rest of your life—is quite real.And yet, as presented by several news organizations, both television andprint, people from all walks of life involved in the seminar accomplishedwhat we would universally agree to be a tremendous feat. They overcametheir fear and walked 20 feet over a bed of hot coals.
Now, I'm not going to have you fire-walking the futures pit, but habits ofthought die hard. And to make way for the new thinking methodology Ioffer as a means of excelling as a trader, you will have to question some ofyour beliefs and probe deeply rooted concepts of what is possible.Sometimes only a thorough mental "house cleaning" can help you throwaway failure to make room for success. And exposing yourself toinformation that may cause you to ask yourself "what if it were true" is thefirst step to any mental cleansing process.
For many reasons, which will be explored in greater depth in Part II, itrarely, if ever, occurs to the beginning trader that the markets confront himwith an environment that is categorically different from anything he isaccustomed to or trained to deal with effectively by society. For example,the markets can be looked at as a never-ending event, always changing,virtually without structure, in perpetual motion, with an unlimited potentialfor profit as well as loss in every trade.
The psychological impact on the individual interacting with such anenvironment is formidable—especially when you consider the many waysin which all of us typically go about structuring our lives with highly definedboundaries, limits, and rules, so things stay basically the same. For mostpeople, a static environment is a fundamental component of their sense ofsecurity and well-being.
Not only can the markets destroy a person's sense of security by forcingthe trader to confront, on a moment-to-moment basis, his lack ofacceptance of change, but they also produce an emotional environment ofconsiderable competitiveness and stress. There's the compulsive need to winmillions, with the simultaneous fear of financial devastation. The markets
25tease a trader with the very real possibility of fulfilling his grandest dreamsof financial independence and at the same time stand ready and willing totake away everything he owns—and more.
Furthermore, the principles of time, effort, and reward associated withmost job situations simply do not apply with the markets. For example,many jobs offer an unchanging reward, regardless of effort, because ofhourly wages or yearly salaries. For a trader, effort can be irrelevant, andthere is virtually no relationship between time and reward. A trader can bestunned with a windfall profit in a matter of seconds for making one simpledecision and the only energy expended was mental.
Initially, you may think what could be wrong with making a lot of moneyin minutes or seconds. A lot! Whether you're aware of it or not, most if notall of us grow up with highly structured belief systems about theconditions under which we deserve to receive money. In fact, many peoplebecause of their childhood conditioning and religious training believe theydon't deserve any money they didn't work for.
Certainly, making a lot of money in a very short period of time with noeffort expended does not fall within the definition most people have aboutworking for their money. So how does someone reconcile windfall profitsagainst these structured work beliefs, especially when they're probably noteven aware of them or would not take them into consideration if they were?This kind of mental conflict usually gets reconciled by the trader findingsome clever, ingenious, or mundane way of giving his money back to themarkets.
Not adjusting to the differences between the cultural and tradingenvironments or just being unaware that differences exist can certainlyaccount for many of the trading errors committed by the majority oftraders. Yet, a thinking methodology can not only redefine the market'sbehavior in understandable terms to avert such mistakes, it can alsomanage most, if not all, typical undisciplined, emotional reactions to thatbehavior.
CULTURALLY LEARNED BEHAVIORTHAT RESULTS IN AN UNSUCCESSFULTRADING EXPERIENCE
In an emotionally charged situation that requires split-second decisionmaking (which could lead to failure of some kind), there's little time tocompare the present event with previous market experiences. Youprobably wouldn't even notice if you had behaved similarly in the past andsuffered the same disastrous consequences. Because the present situationis so immediate, you may have no concept of how typical and eventhoughtless your behavior may be.
In fact, it may be news to you that there are only a limited number of
such typical reactions leading to failure. Being able to recognize them can26prevent you from repeating past mistakes without losing any of that timeso necessary for split-second decisions.
The following typical trading errors have a specific cause rooted in athinking methodology that can be changed.
1. Refusing to define a loss.
2. Not liquidating a losing trade, even after you have acknowledged thetrade's potential is greatly diminished.
3. Getting locked into a specific opinion or belief about marketdirection. From a psychological perspective this is equivalent totrying to control the market with your expectation of what it willdo: "I'm right, the market is wrong."
4. Focusing on price and the monetary value of a trade, instead of thepotential for the market to move based on its behavior and structure.
5. Revenge-trading as if you were trying get back at the market for whatit took away from you.
6. Not reversing your position even when you clearly sense a changein market direction.
7. Not following the rules of the trading system.
8 Planning for a move or feeling one building, but then findingyourself immobilized to hit the bid or offer, and therefore denyingyourself the opportunity to profit.
9. Not acting on your instincts or intuition.
10. Establishing a consistent pattern of trading success over a period oftime, and then giving your winnings back to the market in one ortwo trades and starting the cycle over again.
SKILLS TO BE ACQUIRED
To excel in any activity—whether it is mental, such as trading, or physical,such as swimming—we need to learn specialized skills. These skills give usthe necessary requirements to look at, think about, and behave towardevents in a manner different from what we may be used to or what we mayhave been taught.
However, beyond the sheer mechanics of the activity—which just aboutanyone can master—lies a particular thinking methodology or strategy thatleads to excellence. Although few people have it, such a thinkingmethodology can nevertheless be learned.
Any thinking methodology requires a series of approaches to goals andproblems. These approaches might be better described as mental techniques,even skills of thought application. For example, one such skill might be theability to identify those conditions that are conducive to making a common
27trading error before it actually happens. Other techniques or skills include:
1. Learning the dynamics of goal achievement so you can stay positivelyfocused on what you want-not what you fear.
2. Learning how to recognize the skills you need to progress as a traderand then stay focused on the development of those skills, instead ofthe money, which is merely a by-product of your skills.
3. Learning how to adapt yourself to respond to fundamental changes inmarket conditions more readily.
4. Identifying the amount of risk you are comfortable with - your "riskcomfort level"-and then learn how to expand it in a way that isconsistent with your ability to maintain an objective perspective ofmarket activity.
5. Learning how to execute your trades immediately upon yourperception of an opportunity.
6. Learning how to let the market tell you how much is enough, insteadof assessing the potential from your personal value system of howmuch is enough.
7. Learning how to structure your beliefs to control your perception ofmarket movement.
8. Learning how to achieve and maintain a state of objectivity.
9. Learning how to recognize "true" intuitive information and thenlearning how to act on it consistently.
HOW IS THIS DIFFERENT FROMA TRADING SYSTEM?
Trading systems give us a way to define, quantify, and categorize marketbehavior. Since the markets offer traders a seemingly infinite combination ofbehaviors, all with their corresponding opportunities and risks, it is easyto understand how our minds can become overwhelmed. Trading systemslimit the scope of market behavior, and therefore make this activity a littleeasier for our minds to manage. They also give us direction andsuggestions about what to do in a given market situation. Without themtraders could easily feel as if they are floating aimlessly in an endless sea ofpossibilities and opportunities with no land in sight.
Since trading systems define opportunity and offer suggestions,following these suggestions can lead to the development of skills, eventhough as suggestions they merely point the way for your awareness to bedirected. A true skill not only points the way, but almost automatically
begins to direct awareness as well. And a thinking methodology controls the28selection of which skills should be used and when.
I do not offer a trading system in this book. It's more a means ofinterfacing a trading system with the mind's psychological structure. If atrading system provides awareness of market signals, and suggests behaviorsappropriate for any given market situation, then the thinking methodology Iwill share with you teaches skills and processes of skill application.
Having the skills necessary to consciously manipulate one'spsychological environment is essential for the trader who recognizes howineffectual a trading system can suddenly become whenever a tensesituation demands a split-second decision.
Most everyone reading a book of this nature would consider himself assuccessful to one degree or another, either through trial and error, or therigorous application of some proven formula, through which each haslearned—intentionally or not—skills or methodologies of thought toachieve this success.
In any case, we all have a natural tendency not only to want to achievesuccess in something, but also to apply the principles of success that workvery well in one situation to practically everything else. It often doesn'toccur to us that some environments may require very differentpsychological resources to achieve success.
Suppose, for example, that you arbitrarily tried to apply a certain thoughtsystem of success to trading futures or stocks without first investigating theusefulness or validity of that system in relationship to the actual conditionsas they exist in the markets. More than likely, you would be doomed tofailure before you even started.
Obviously people don't consciously start trading with the belief that theydon't have the right resources or that they're going to fail. In fact, it is justthe opposite. Because most traders come from or still enjoy very successfulcareers outside of trading, they have a great deal of confidence in theirability to extend this success in the trading environment. This unfoundedconfidence, coupled with the way the markets distort a person's concept ofreward in relationship to time and effort expended, will cause the trader toform some very unrealistic expectations about the kind of results he shouldachieve.
Believing that trading is easy is the reason for the unrealistic expectations.And they are probably the single biggest reason why most traders nevermake it beyond the initial levels of development before they lose all theirmoney.
Starting out believing that trading is easy is a psychological trap thatentices almost all traders. But it isn't too difficult to understand why, whenyou examine the dynamics of the process of how we set up a standard ofperformance for ourselves by which to gauge our progress. There are fourbasic components that make up a person's standard of performance orexpectations for results.
First is our basic concept of time; most people believe that it is limited,
29passing nonstop and will eventually run out. Second is our concept ofeffort—our supply of personal energy is not inexhaustible; it runs out, wetire, and we may even become ill if we don't rest properly. The third is ourconcept of expertise—the number of skills we have learned and our degree ofproficiency in using these skills; it usually takes a great deal of time andenergy to acquire expertise.
Now one of the primary ways we learn to value ourselves is based on ourbelief about how much work we do and the amount of time it takes to doit. Which brings us to the fourth component in the equation; reward. Todetermine the amount of reward we should receive, we will make anassessment about how hard or easy a job is by determining how much effort(personal energy) we will need to expend and to assess how long the job willtake (using up our limited time), so we can then determine how much weshould be compensated. It is like our own personal supply and demandformula for our time and energy.
Now I am going to put all this together to demonstrate how tradingdistorts all these components in a way that allows someone to believe thattrading is easy. First, to function in the market environment requires verylittle if any physical effort, especially for the off — the — floor trader.Second, time is not a relevant factor because a trader can be stunned withthousands of dollars in profits in a matter of moments. Conceivably, youcould put on a trade, never have the market go against your position, and berewarded at levels far beyond your expectations of what is possible. Aperson can't help but make the association between the speed at whichsomething like this could happen and how easy it must be because therewas no physical effort required.
Most people don't have to experience this personally to make theerroneous assumption that trading is easy. They will just naturally do it thefirst time they experience market action. They will assume that they wouldhave been a buyer at some low point and held on to liquidate the trade for aprofit. Even if it's just for a couple of ticks, invariably they will multiplythose ticks by several contracts to come up with these mental windfallprofits for themselves. These profits could represent an exotic trip, a dreamcar, or thoughts of financial independence. Then they will compare howlong and how hard they normally have to work to get the same amount ofmoney, and what will result is a completely erroneous conclusion thattrading is easy.
The problem is that it is almost impossible for the beginning trader tomake a reasonable assessment of the level of expertise that is required tofunction in the trading environment, like learning to limit oneself in anunlimited environment, when possibly for the first time in the trader's lifehe has the freedom to express himself creatively without any socialconstraints, or the amount of the time it takes to acquire this expertise,especially when it looks as if the profits should just roll in so easily and sofast. These kinds of assumptions will blind the trader to the true nature of
30the endeavor. Time is certainly a factor in learning to perceive opportunityor learning how to execute one's trades flawlessly. Both these skills couldtake a great deal of time to learn. However, neither time nor effort is afactor in relationship to the potential for reward.
So what happens when we don't live up to our own expectations?—especially, when most everyone starts their trading career thinking it's apiece of cake and that they're only moments away from fulfilling theirfinancial dreams? Regardless of how long it may take any individual toadmit that he's not making it, the experience is painful and invariablygenerates feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and even shame. When one fails,especially when the expectations for success are so high, it will create threemajor psychological obstacles that have to be overcome before any measureof success will be realized.
First, you will need to learn how to release yourself from any feelings ofinadequacy, guilt, or shame. Second, you will need to learn how to identifyand repair the residual psychological damage caused by the emotionallypainful experiences because painful experiences have the potential togenerate fear. Finally, you will need to undo any inappropriate tradinghabits and learn the appropriate skills that will help you eventually toaccumulate the wealth you desire from trading.
For many, what I have outlined may seem like an overwhelming task,and I'm not going to downplay it in the slightest. Even if you haven't as yetsubjected yourself to any emotional trauma, just learning the appropriateskills will be no easy task. However, you should keep in mind that therewards can be astronomical. Would any other endeavor having theunlimited potential of trading in futures or stocks be easy?
As you proceed through this book, it is very important to keep in mindthat neither I nor anyone else can deny what you consider to be thestructure of reality—even though what I hold to be true and what you holdto be true may differ by a wide margin. Force, violence, or even torture willnot cause you or anyone else to give up your beliefs if you don't want to.However, if what I offer will produce a result you desire, then you may bequite willing to suspend, at least temporarily, what you hold to be true andsee if what works for me will also work for you.
The fire-walkers I mentioned earlier demonstrated how a thinkingmethodology could suspend their belief that walking on abed of hot coalswould severely damage their feet—even though they had learned early intheir lives the dangers and pain of intense heat Perhaps you too cansuspend some of your beliefs about what makes trading successful. Youcould find out how your own early training—before you ever consideredbecoming a trader—may have produced contradictory attitudes and beliefsthat cancel all good intentions and optimistic trading, and thus lead tofailure.
Understandably, before you even consider the possibility of changingsome of your innermost beliefs, you will certainly want to know not only
31how the process of altering beliefs works but also what benefits it will havefor you as a trader.
Like all traders, you have probably read repeatedly what it takes to besuccessful at trading: "Trade with the trend," "Cut your losses and let yourprofits run," "Money management is the key," and so on. As true as theseadages are, they are too vague to give you a clear understandable connectionbetween the application of these principles and their benefits: a positive andsuccessful trading experience. If you will recall, I listed resistance toaccepting a loss among the most common trading errors. If you have everexperienced such resistance, you have probably also encountered thefollowing thought: "How do I accept small losses when what I want to do ismake money, and I feel like a failure every time I lose."
Your helplessness in such a situation and the disastrous consequences foryour finances are at the essence of this discussion. If, for example, you canchange what losses mean to you and how you represent them mentally, thento whatever degree you can accomplish this, you will be releasing yourselffrom the stress and anxiety experienced when you have to acknowledgeany given trade is a loser and take the appropriate action.
The few individuals who have achieved astronomical success in tradingat some point learned to stop trying to conquer the markets or make themconform to their expectations or mental limitations. At some point in theirtrading careers, they understood the psychological implications of an eventthat is never ending, that begins only when one decides to participate, thatends only when one has had enough, and behaves without the slightestregard for individual survival. Eventually they adapted to these unusual anddemanding psychological conditions by changing their perspective,although, as I have already pointed out from my experiences, the process ofchange usually isn't the result of making a conscious choice to take a step-by-step approach, as this book is designed to give you.
In our everyday lives it is much easier to control the externalenvironment to satisfy our desires. What I mean is, if something has tochange to get what we want, we will find it much easier to change theexternal conditions to suit our needs before we attempt to change ourmental perspective. Changing ourselves would seem like the absolute lastresort as a solution to any problem. So, why would you consciously goabout the task of learning how to change yourself from the inside? I havethree reasons for you.
First, because you decide to learn new skills or ways of expressingyourself. Second, because you may have any number of beliefs acting asresistance in the acquisition of the new skills you are attempting to learn.The third I will get to in a moment.
Right now I want to give you an example to illustrate these first twopoints. A client of mine lost an uncle that he was very close to while he wasstill a child. His uncle was very much of a father figure to him, where hisown father was not. The uncle died of a heart attack at a young age while
32doing some very strenuous exercise. Because of this experience my clientgrew up believing he would also die of a heart attack, if he exercised toostrenuously.
What would have been just normal heart pounding, to anyone else, afterworking up a sweat, he would perceive as the beginning of a heart attack. Hewould start to hyperventilate and stop doing whatever he was doing.Obviously, his belief about dying was very limiting. As a result, he neverparticipated in any sports as a child or well into his adult life.
Well, by the time he was in his late thirties, he decided that he was notgoing to die prematurely of a heart attack like his uncle. Actually he didn'tmake this decision until after he passed the age in which his uncle haddied. (His uncle's age at the time of his death was