. "Do you own a DeLorean time machine and accidentally pressed the wrong button, missing the spicy news happening in Kenya and China?"
If I don't stay updated with what's happening in our world, then I'm doomed to be the one who inevitably brings up the topic of pet rocks - the quickest way to sour any social occasion.
"To quote my boy Forrest Gump, who was onto something when he said 'that's all I have to say.' Look, keeping up with current events is tough, okay? I'd rather watch paint dry than read the news."
By jove, I just can't let myself miss out on all the wild, international tomfooleryTo resist the urge to stick my nose in would be a travesty of epic proportions! If I don't stay updated with what's happening in our world, then I'm doomed to be the one who inevitably brings up the topic of pet rocks - the quickest way to sour any social occasion. Holy cow, my friend! I'm so swamped with my Black Mirror obsession that I can't even keep up with my bills, let alone be updated on global happenings! "To quote my boy Forrest Gump, who was onto something when he said 'that's all I have to say.' Look, keeping up with current events is tough, okay? I'd rather watch paint dry than read the news." I can't guarantee I'll be sane, but I can guarantee I'll be wired - and that might just be enough for me to say yes.