"Hey, partner. You seem to have a real affinity for American news. Do you change your name to 'MSNBC' or are you more of a 'I only read the comments section on Breitbart articles' kind of person? Because let's face it, what happens in America really has no impact on your life whatsoever."
Leave it to other people to enjoy being in the know, right? Personally, I prefer the thrill of not understanding anything at all.
"Let me just don my legal cape and watch as you struggle to extract a confession out of me like a fish out of water."
Normal people might use their showers to, I don't know, get clean? But not meI'm a true patriot who can't live without constant updates on political scandals, even in the showerLet the dirt flow! Leave it to other people to enjoy being in the know, right? Personally, I prefer the thrill of not understanding anything at all. Who needs the news when our country is perfect in every way? No problems, no controversies, we're living in a dream! Mind blown! The trials and victories of a nation clearly pale in comparison to the nail polish color choices of the Kardashians. "Let me just don my legal cape and watch as you struggle to extract a confession out of me like a fish out of water."