 Hello and welcome to the Virgcast, day one of CES 2015. I am Nilay Patel. I am Chris Plant. Chris Ziegler here. Super confusing. And I am special guest, Joanna Stern. Joanna Stern. Star Wall Street Journal reporter, Joanna Stern. I don't even know if that's your title. Is it fully Star Wall Street Journal reporter? I like Tsar. Tsar. C-Z-A-R. Yeah. Yeah. Columnist. Duchess. Correspondent. Star Wall Street Journal. Star Wall Street Journal. Yes. But no, it's always every year at CES we have Joanna come back because Joanna is one of the founders of The Virg. A founding member. And an escaped convict of this insane asylum that we call a website. So it is day one. We had our first episode of the show yesterday. It was Chris and I and Dieter in this space at our booth. Only everything was completely empty and there were forklifts everywhere. I wouldn't call it like an episode. It was a test run. It was like. It was an experience. It was a test experience. So I was talking to Google this morning and they had just listened to the episode and they said we love the forklift conversation. They were really excited about it. I don't understand how. There were self-driving forklifts? No. There was a forklift driving another forklift. Yeah. That was true. Made by Google. Cowards. A lot of things happened today. I will say we have end of word every day at CES to publish a story that we think sort of wraps up the big theme of what we think the day will be. Today was Dieter. I would say the best headline and sub headline combination in Verge history. The headline was we finally know what will come after the smartphone. The subhead was acronyms. Because it is true. Because the two biggest acronyms here that are happening everywhere are the Internet of Things and the unfortunately and stupidly named ADAS. ADAS. Go ahead, Chris. Say what it means. What is the ADAS? To be clear. What is the ADAS? And who came up with it? It's an NVIDIA term. Qualcomm used it. These are vendors. This isn't the automotive industry. I've heard the people. Go ahead. No one on a Ford stage or a Chevy stage in history has said our new car has ADAS. That is not happening. They will. That's a chilling vision of things to come. But anyway, so it's a collection of technologies that will enable things like anti-collision, self-driving, so on and so forth. And these are all things that are on the five to seven year horizon. So everybody is talking about it right now because they're working on the cars that will get this in five to seven years. And that's what I love about CES. They're the things that we're going to the technologies that will come to us five to seven years from now that require an enormous amount of human capital and investment and three hour keynotes and extensive keynotes. And then there's just Joanna with a selfie stick. And I would say the selfie stick is also one of the main innovations of CES. I agree. You did just take eight hundred and fifty pictures by accident with that thing. Yeah, but that's a feature. That's a feature of this selfie stick that I bought in a casino for guess how much? Twenty dollars. Dignity. All of mine. Fifteen dollars. That's not bad. And you love this thing. You know, how do you trigger it? Let me show you. Let me show you. So there's a special button on the reverse side. The main problem here is that well, there's a lot of main problems. It's just not working at all. That's not even a good selfie. You embed the mic in my selfie stick. I'm being told I need to I need I need a selfie mic stick holder. You got it. It's not working at all. We're what we're trying to take a lot of photos right now. They're all you got us. OK, Joanna, we lost. I would just say if you are in your car and you're listening to this, as most of you are, what you just heard was someone not using a selfie stick. I was up now. It's doing it. It's taking it is taking photos. First, it is somehow. There you go. We've already taken one hundred and thirty five photos. So you troubleshoot that while we move on. I want to quickly talk about why I got this selfie stick because I got to see. Yes. Well, to shut you down. So we're going to be talking about taping a bird's chest early without alcohol would make it less crazy. But she was wrong. I do. Yeah, you're right. I don't need I don't need alcohol to talk about my love for the selfie stick. Two things. One, I went to Times Square the other day with shooting a video there and everyone had a selfie stick. Meanwhile, my video was about how ridiculous you look when you take a photo with a tablet. But there were a lot of tablets, you know, the big tablet. Were they on sticks? They were not on sticks. That's CS 2015. I saw one. My first day I saw a tablet on selfie stick here. You saw that? Really? Anyway, carry on. Anyway, that was the first thing I realized. OK, this is huge. Then you guys wrote something about the selfie stick. There was a number of people writing about the selfie stick. And then I got to see yes on Sunday and I kid you not. I like walked into CS unveiled and I just saw a flood of reporters with selfie sticks and I felt like I must up my game to cover. Yes, this year with a selfie stick. Really? That's yeah, we have to be competitive at the Wall Street Journal. What are some examples of how you've upped your game? Well, she bought a stick, brought a stick. And actually this devil's is a walking stick as well. I used that the other day when walking through the CS desert. No but I mean, people are I mean, and it does help if you're shooting your own videos. I've seen a lot of that. I don't shoot my own videos. So that wasn't all that helpful to me. You're not selling it very well. Yeah. Well, she's not selling her own personal selfie stick. This one is broken and takes hundreds of photos. I'm pursuing getting more selfie sticks. I like them. They give out of the way. I mean, you're talking about the tablet. The tablet, it ruins everything. It's true. It gives the person a great photo. But you hold it above your head. And then you have another seven inches of like a screen for the person behind you to not see. But then somebody puts like a tiny phone on a tiny stick. You have like 30 of those. Everybody can see. But Apple made the great points. Tiny phones and tiny sticks. Apple makes a huge point about how you need the viewfinder, the big viewfinder in your face. Yeah. Right. And then you have the new Venue 8, which has this improved Intel RealSense camera. And so I kind of talked about like, well, can a better camera on a tablet make us want to actually take photos with a tablet? Turns out the camera's not that good. So no. But, you know. By the way, I would like to, that is about as precise a summary of the Joanna Stern review like life. Yeah, that's pretty true. Is this hope real? No. Because Dell made it. I've edited like a thousand of those reviews. That's true. He used to edit many of my Dell netbook reviews, which, yeah. But Dell came out with a really cool laptop today. Back to today's news. They came out with the Edge 10 screen. So I will say this. There are no tablets at this show. Nope. I haven't, like I see tablets. I interviewed like an older CEO today. He had an iPad and like a really old Blackberry. And basically like I took in the gestalt of that scene. I was like, well, your company is doomed. But that's it. That was like basically the iPad. Business gets done on Blackberry, Neelay. Yeah. And then you use your iPad to browse the web. I've seen lots of phones and I've seen lots of Internet of Things things to plug into cloud services and then phones. But no one here is showing a tablet of any kind as far as I can tell. Well Dell announced this Venue 8 today. But the Venue 8 was announced. But like the reviews are all out. It's like a big splashy announce, right? People have had them. Then there, what is it? I think I've had the laptop that came out today. The edge to edge screen. Oh, the XPS. Yeah. I think that's actually a more, far more interesting product than the tablet. You're never going to get, I don't know. I mean, to me, what was really, I wanted to review the Venue because I thought the Intel RealSense thing, you've seen all those commercials with Sheldon. Have you guys seen those? Sadly, yes, I have. Yeah. Sheldon shows up to a wedding with a huge tablet and he can refocus the photos or his phone. Sheldon is from the Bing Bang Theory. I don't know where Sheldon is. I don't watch CBS. You know his name isn't actually Sheldon. What is his real name? Jim. Jim Parsons, yes. Right. Anyway, Sheldon is really into the RealSense camera. Anyway, whatever reality. And yeah, Sheldon's really into the RealSense camera. And I was into the RealSense thing as well. They're going to do some really cool things with it. And so, you know, eventually. It's similar to the one in the HTC One, the camera, the, what do they call it? Oh, UltraPixels? No, the tap to focus thing. But now they use three different cameras. Anyway, I see you guys are not interested in my RealSense talk. No, I'm just curious. I mean, if Jim's interested, I'm interested. Yeah. Sheldon is super into it. He is. And Sheldon has an XPS in Dell on the show. I'm a fan of the Bing Bang Theory. I think it's really interesting that tablets are basically not here. The most interesting laptop I've seen is the Dell one. And then Apple in its way, once again, tried to break CS with a big leak. And you can discuss the provenance of this leak any way that you want. But 95Mac basically released renderings of a rumored 12-inch MacBook or MacBook Air. I think it will just be called the MacBook and be like the low-end, cheap, netbooky Chromebook one, because that's what's missing in their line. And that's like Chromebooks are going into education. You think that's a low-end product? Not like a, it's Apple, so I think it'll be less expensive. How do they differentiate that from the 11? I don't think so. I think they killed the 11. Yeah. I think they killed the 11. I think they probably end up killing the 11, but definitely keeping the 13-inch and the low-end. And I think that this 12-inch might be higher-end. I disagree. I'm on team Joanna here. So Tom, we should just get into this. So Apple, again, on the first day of CS is in the news. It's just standard. It's actually surprising that Apple didn't like, Apple could do anything, right? Last year they released their supplier responsibility reports. Right, that was... It was a big deal. Last year it's a bunch of leaked MacBooks, and you can believe or not that it happened on purpose, timed to this day. I think a little too coincidental, but whatever. But I will say... We're talking about Mark Gurman's leak, right? Yeah. I just think that's very suspicious to me, that it's on this day. I don't know if... It's a lot of inside baseball, but I'm not sure that would be his sources. Interesting. Yeah. I know. It's my theory. It is this day. So there was a really, really thin 12-inch MacBook Air with no connectors except for one USB Type-C connector, which is the new reversible one. And then Tom Warren went digging through USB specs and found that Apple has more engineers on that product than anyone except for Intel. More than Dell, more than HP, more than Foxconn. They're driving that standard the way that they tend to drive SIM card standards. And the thing is so thin that Broadwell won't work in it because Broadwell needs a fan. But what Intel chip will work in it is Core M, which can drive like a retina display, which is why we landed on... This is more of a Chromebook thing. Which I think is brilliant because I think the iPad Pro is not for that. So you don't think it has a very high resolution because of the limitations they have? No, I think it has a high-res screen, but I think it has very little raw processor power. I think it'll be great at browsing the web and typing some stuff and running... And doing all the stuff I do with this very expensive laptop. Right. Right? And that's why it sounds, and that's why I think it might be higher end. To me it sounds like a product like the original MacBook Air was, right? And no ports, right? Now seriously, no ports. Yeah, USB and a headphone. And think of the genesis of the original MacBook Air. Steve Jobs swore up and down that he would never release a crappy laptop. And granted it's not Steve Jobs' Apple anymore, but... I just think the Mac is having a little bit of a renaissance and PCs are back. I think these things have... I also heard gadgets are back. Gadgets are back. This show is about gadgets, man. I'm so happy that you think gadgets are back. Because your career is safe. I still have a job. It's great that they're back. Apps are cool. Selfie sticks or... Selfie sticks. This is the best gadget of 2015. Don't wave that thing at me. So that's the thing. I mean, look, those are the two prevailing theories. One that's high end and one that's more low end. Also I think that trackpad stuff he talked about is going to be really big. Yeah? Yeah. Because it doesn't look like they'll bring a touch screen to something like that unless we're going to see some other version of Mac operating system, which I don't think we're going to see if they're releasing this sometime soon. And he talked about how the trackpad doesn't actually have the click. I think there'll probably be some crazy touch stuff going on there. Well then I won't buy it. I mean, I won't buy a computer that has a trackpad that doesn't click. That's nonsense. All right. I will buy it. So that's that. And then... I mean, I've been waiting for this moment. I cannot wait for this. For a 12 inch MacBook Air? I just cannot wait for a new MacBook Air. Okay. So just the fact that we're having this conversation on this day here at CES in the looming shadow of Sony City, the walls of which I will one day scale. Everyone turns and pays homage. Yeah, that circle is Sony. You should go check it out, guys. They make a bunch of TVs, I guess. Are they a sponsor? Sony? No. No. It's a good thing, but no. Only the beautiful Ford Mustang. Everyone gaze at the car. I'll do it later. You know when you open the door of the car it shines a Mustang on the ground? This is true. Which is terrible if you're trying to break into someone's house. Not that you should ever do that with a Ford Mustang. No, that's your getaway car. You know, internally... So fast. So powerful. So smooth. When they were developing that, internally, it's known as the Neilight Light. Yeah. The one that makes me buy a car. This really worked out in terms of a sponsor. It makes a product that I want that I will never buy. Guys, can we talk about that computer one more second, why it's wonderful? Because the same thing with the MacBook Air, that is the screenwriter computer. And that's where the market is. That's the guy who is sitting in the cafe, wants the thing that is light as possible and looks nice, and is kind of small and a little boutique. And he's going to have his nice hat, and he's going to write his little screenplay on it. You're literally making the iBird chimpster comment right now. John August on his podcast, he's like, yeah, you're right. I did that with Charlie McChrystal. I think of it 100% A, I'd like to point out, we are in a coffee shop that we built where many of these people have MacBooks. Wait, this is an iBird argument? That made it sound good? And they're all listening to that artist. I don't know the name of. You just made the iBird argument sound good. But they're all listening to that right now. They did not know that that didn't sound good. I mean, it made it sound like, it made it sound like you were saying it. They're like, oh, I should be writing, but I guess once on RSFW. Let me take this, Anil. Dude, you're a barista. That's what you said. Let me take this to a darker place. I think of it more as the computer for Bradley Cooper's character from Limitless before he starts taking the pills. So he's in a really bad place in his life. He's trying to finish his book. He's not succeeding. All of his stuff sucks in his life, including his gear, right? Because he's poor. He has nothing. Somebody saw Limitless and it was you. It affected me deeply. Anyway, that's where I think this computer's gonna land. It's the pills. The 12-inch Mac LeGair helps you use 100% of your brain capacity. That's the ad campaign right there. Gambling mastermind. Make a better movie called Lucy. Yeah, fair. It's a movie joke. So Chris, you've been driving cars for three days now. Tell me what's going on in cars. That's why you're on the show. Do the thing, do the thing that you do. I can't be on the show just because I'm cool. Just because I'm a cool dude. I have to drive cars. Is that what I'm hearing? Dude, Chris is having his own private CES. I've heard this joke. It's not a joke. It's true. People have told this to me at least a half dozen times since yesterday. They're like, just go do your private CES. We get it. We get you can't go to this event. You're off doing whatever. You can't see Samsung's floating lady. You only can cover cars. I will say this, though. Chris has promised me a self-driving Knight Rider car tomorrow. It's true. So I'm ready for that. It's true. It's happening. That's the only reason this is allowed. It's all happening for you right now. Did Ford have big news this morning? They had a... So I was on my way to another event and Ford released something like 35 press releases in the span of a minute. And my heart dropped. And I looked through it. Yeah, so they're doing some really interesting stuff. The combined package of all these releases is called Smart Mobility, which is, you know, a buzz phrase. But they're getting into car sharing. They have like four or five different car sharing experiments that they're running globally, which seems counterintuitive because they're cannibalizing their own business. Right. But I was just talking to them at their booth and they raised the good point, which is that car sharing is going to happen whether they're involved or not. Really? So they might as well get ahead of it. Right? Yeah. So that's kind of their attitude. They're like, look, we just want to be on the leading edge. Like, yes, it might be bad for our business, but at least we want to be at the front of it instead of at the back of it. Right. If they're going to be shared cars, they want them to be Fords. Exactly. I'm going to have a Mustang with my. Where is this Mustang you're talking about? Is it really there? You can barely see it back there. It's there. It's blue. Right there? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's just a guy. That man said that it's right there. I'm sorry that Jaren named you Mustang. Oh, yeah. I think he told me that it matches my shirt. Everyone standing by the car is now named Mustang. It matches my shirt. That's, if you just walk over there and touch it, you can nickname yourself Mustang for the rest of the day. He said that that was mine because my shirt is blue and the car is blue. What? John Mustang Dough. That's the experience we offer here at the Verge. You realize you touch our car, you can give yourself a nickname as long as it's the name of the car. You have to name. Tomorrow we're bringing in a Fiesta. Fiesta plants like walking out of here. You have to name your child Mustang Patel. Oh, we will. And then that child will either be a stripper or a stripper. Anyway, so yesterday I spent part of the day with BMW, which is one of the freakiest demos ever done. Last year they did a self drifting car. BMW loves to do spectacular stuff at CES. They have done it for a while. Yesterday they did two i3s, one of which they encouraged to have me drive as fast as possible into a wall. So I did that and the car stopped itself automatically. Really? Yes. And so they set up this course of, it looks like Super Mario blocks, except that they want you to run into them. And as you get close, the car very politely and softly beeps at you and then it just stops. But what's freaky is that it stops with like a half inch before you hit the object. And then they're like, okay, now turn into this wall so the side of the car is going to scrape, won't let you. Then they ask you to parallel park it. So it's like driving a car in a force field? Basically. Yes. This is the future. Your car is going to become uncrashable and it's kind of amazing. So that was the first demo. And then the second demo was a self parking car where you get out and then use your smart watch. They were using a Samsung Galaxy or Gear S. You tap a button on the watch and the car just slowly like wanders off and finds a spot. Which is awesome. What? Yeah. And then you press it again and it comes back to you. I actually, I'm going to, I followed this little trend. I interviewed Android Auto's Andy Brenner. I don't know what his title is today, but I was asking about the integration that could happen with those smart with Google with gear with not gear with where and Android Auto. And it seems like that could be something really cool. Yeah. Like I either I have my phone or my watch out. So the idea for like unlocking the keys or that kind of thing, remembering where your parking spot is, your location, that seems really cool. And Hyundai is already doing this. They showed their Blue Link Android Wear app where you can start the car, stop the car, lock the doors remotely. You know, if my car was parked. Is there like some sort of authentication thing that's happening? Yeah. So a four digit pin. So theoretically if somebody stole your watch and your pin, they could start your engine in another state. Okay. But as long as you don't run into that situation. So with the, with the BMW on the return trip, I got into the car in the passenger seat with no one else in the car. And I cannot tell you what an uncomfortable experience that is to have a car drive itself. That's my dream. It would actually freak me out less if it was going at highway speeds, but the fact that it was going like five miles an hour, just kind of meandering back and forth and you know, turning very carefully while I'm sitting in the passenger seat, just hoping it doesn't take off is like the NVIDIA demo car. It's constantly accelerating 160 miles an hour. That sounds like a very advanced system for driver assistance. It is. And like an ADAS of some kind. It is an ADAS of some kind. Two years ago. What is the word? Advanced Driver Assistance Systems. How do you spell that? ADAS. A-D-A-S. Right. Okay. So I was thinking, anyway. You were thinking the number eight and then the word ass. Yes, that is what I was thinking. Yeah. And that is actually, that's NVIDIA's code name. It's really confused. It got messed up along the way. ATE ass is what I was thinking too. Just keeps getting worse. Got it. So why do we let you on the show? I don't know. It's okay. I was thinking about how the number eight, if you turn it sideways, kind of looks like an ass. So it'd be like eight ass. That's the infinity symbol. That is smart. That is really- This is the worst branding campaign that has ever taken place. No, that is the name of our next company. That is an amazing logo idea for an amazing company name. I want a button in the center of the table that's an off the rails alert. And you hit it when- But it's a butt. Yeah. You just keep your hand down the entire- Yeah. And there's like a reggae horn that goes off. Anyway. So- I will say this. I was interviewing somebody just near the LG booth, which is also near the House of Marley booth. And they were like, I'm very sorry, this reggae music never stops playing. Yeah, but that's kind of chill. I mean, that's a good scene. You're going to be in CES. I'd want to be near the House of Marley booth. It was just really, he was just like, I'm very sorry. Your audio is going to be all messed up because this reggae music never stops. By like date 10, your ears are bleeding. You're like, please. Well, no, we are stuck. Our trailer is near the Volkswagen demo of the self parking cars. They muted my mic. They definitely muted my mic. You're here. I hope. Well, as soon as you started your like unlicensed focus group on your own. I'm welling that idea. Worst brainstorm of all time. I'm just laying it out there. The eight looks like an S. It's amazing. You got to stop saying it. Also stop sexualizing numbers. It helps if you close your eyes. Numbers are very sexy. We're done. That was the show. Numbers are a sexy thing. We're done. CES 2015. You ever look close to number three? We don't have booth babes. We're just printed numbers everywhere. Yeah. Joanne is right. No, no. He's over there. Unless he's doing it with his mind, he's not doing it. Yeah. Joanne is off the air now. We took her off the air. I'm fine with it. Technical challenges. Okay. Great. Well, they solved that. Continue your stories about cars. Well, I'll just say that the rate of a advancement in this field is ridiculous because two years ago, Audi did a demo, a self parking demo where they needed to set up all of these special beacons in the parking garage so that the car could understand where to go. And they don't need that anymore because the sensors that they put around the cars are so advanced that they can map the environment in real time and park that way. So they don't need and the parking garage doesn't need to be outfitted for self parking anymore. But that's the scary part. That's the thing we were talking briefly about yesterday with Nvidia's ADAS when it's like, oh, it's going to learn. First it'll learn the signs. Then it'll learn the people. Yeah. Then it'll learn how democracy works. Then it's 90. Then this car will be president. Then it will learn how to do keynotes. Yeah. Yeah. Then it will get the oil. The keynotes have been delivered by cars the whole time. No, that's good. I mean, this is the thing I feel like always with auto stuff at CES. We see all this crazy blank. And we curse on here still? I forget. It's like a... Ish. You can say ish. A lot of the rules have changed. You're allowed to curse in the verge cast until Apple develops filtering software good enough to catch it and then not give us the explicit tag in iTunes. Okay. It's a little inside baseball, which is Apple doesn't have robots. For the cheap Apple here. That's not going to be cheap. I mean, look, you've already talked about robots. That's not going to be cheap. You've already talked about boning numbers. Like great details. I did. At this point, what do we have left to lose? Love numbers. But I feel like we always see all this great stuff and then the reality comes that our society is not moving fast enough to allow us to have any of this great stuff. Yeah. And I get very angry that we don't have great stuff. I've heard that exact message from several executives this week. But gadgets are back. And gadgets are back. Wait, we have what? The society doesn't move fast enough for our cars to drive themselves? But gadgets are not mired in a regulatory nightmare. Cars are. Right. And so that's what everybody is saying is that the technology, as always, is moving much faster than the government is. It's a shocker. Right. And so we're going to end up with a perfect or close to perfect self-driving car long before agencies are going to know what to do about it. We need a super cool nickname for people who like have illegal self-driving cars. Yes. Freeriders. And then make a movie starring Tom Hardy. Wait, from legal- Because you'll have the car, but it'll be illegal. Right? Right? So like- You have this underground society of self-drivers. Of people who don't drive their cars. Right. People who are just like, they're in the driver's seat pretending to drive. Some sort of like- But like they're wearing sunglasses, but really they're asleep. It's like a weekend at Bernie's. You have a weekend at Bernie's. First, find a dead, late, late relative. Right. Second, put him in the driver's seat. Dude, this is how you finally- Bernie, we need you to find a dead, late, late relative. Dude, this is how you finally- Bernie, we need weekend at Bernie's. The weekend at Bernie's franchise. I keep calling him weekend at Bernie's man. His name is Bernie. Yeah. We need Bernie. No, weekend at Bernie's, weekend at Bernie man is the next step. Wait, and then- You put Bernie in the front seat and you just sit while he drives you to work. No, that's what I'm saying. Weekend at Bernie's 2025, self-drive. That's the name of the movie that I'm pitching. Just bring back all the original ads. I don't know if anyone from Sony Pictures is over there in Sony City, but we have a great idea for weekend at Bernie's 2025 self-drive. That is a really interesting idea. It's not a really interesting idea. Yeah, I like it. It's going to be called eight ass. That's our company idea. We find the corpses. We network. We get eight asses put in eight car seats. Network with the corpses? No, everyone's stopping. No, we bring them together. Joanna, tell us more about yourself. A social network for corpses is where you can connect with them. Right, and that's where they- No, you put them in the driver's seat when you have your illegal self-driving car and then you're able to drive yourself to work. Or the corpse. I don't think the requirement is just a body, living or dead. Tinder for corpses. It is. You just- Swipe left. Swipe left. I'm not sure you guys understand the idea. Swipe right. Do you guys understand the idea? I'm very clear on the idea. The idea does not have contours. The idea is pretty straightforward. You think it's clear? Yeah. We'll be talking about that. Yeah, yeah. Are there any investors, Rock? Any VCs with something to prove? Yeah. Joanna Stern has an idea for you. It's robbing- Chris is in it. It's robbing Mords. Terrifying. It's terrifying. It's terrifying. It's terrifying. It's terrifying. Okay. We hijacked your conversation. I don't even remember what I was talking about. If I'm being honest. Cars. Cars. Yes, cars. What? I do have a question to go back into the deep. What is required legally to have a car? It's like, I have a self-driving car. How much do I have to touch the wheel before it becomes illegal? So right now- That makes sense, right? How much do you have to not touch the wheel before- Well, yeah. Sure. Well, yeah. Before it becomes illegal. Yeah. So, the National Highway Safety Transportation Administration is the worst. Okay. They have four levels of self-driving that they've defined. Level one is like cruise control. Level two is adaptive cruise and then it goes up to level four, which is where you can basically sleep. And lower levels are not totally clear on the regulatory framework here, but the lower levels are obviously legal. And the higher levels are being approved on a provisional basis on a state by state level. So like Florida is allowing self-driving cars for testing purposes. California is, of course. And Nevada is. So actually, Audi was able to drive a self-driving car from Palo Alto to Vegas this week. Right. I would not be surprised- With no one in the driver's seat. Right. Well, no, no, no. They had someone in the driver's seat. Yeah. Yeah. So Florida is totally first to completely allow self-driving cars. Because they have a super elderly population. Yeah. Yeah. And the second I can buy my parents a self-driving car, I will. What about a self-driving go-kart or a golf cart? Yeah. I was in Florida a couple weeks ago. It is so bad on the roads. It's such a waste of technology. What? What? Have you ever been to the villages in Florida? That's gillions of dollars. It's like a giant city of- A utopia. Older people, and it is a utopia, they all make loans. It is a- They do. A giant STD rate. It's awful. It's like Florida State. Anyway- Geriatric STDs? Yeah. I mean, they don't have nothing to lose. You know, live life to the fullest. I feel like I'm not doing a good job hosting this show. Anyway, my point is they have like tons of golf cart areas. No, I was there. I was in Florida two weeks ago. And then they go. And got a geriatric STD. They're not rape dolls. You can't- That's what happened to me a couple weeks ago. You can't even throw people into the golf cart. I have a kid's mate ass. Today on the Virgcast, we talked about that time I went to Florida by Chris Plant. Thank you very much. Yeah. What did you do here? What did you do for your job today in Vegas? Oh, they're right over there. Right there. So I saw that levitating speaker. Okay. Right? And I was like, this is great. How does the magic work? And they're like, oh, it's magnets. It's really strong magnets. And you have to use like a device just to get them balanced. One magnet like field over the other. And that's what makes the speaker float. And I was like, okay, that's cool. But since they're strong magnets, what can they stick to? And the guy was like, I don't know. And I was like, could it stick to your phone? And he's like, we can try. And it did. And I was like, can it stick to this wall bracket? And he's like, I don't know. So then I tried that. And it did that too. So then I had a big idea. Levitating. Cool. Neat. Not useful for me. It works in 33 feet for 12 hours. You go into your neighbor's house. You put it up way high in their house. And then you just randomly turn on music. And you're like, I don't know. Maybe there's a ghost in your house. Maybe you should pay me money to hear that ghost. You live in New York. I have like 20 neighbors I could do that to. So wait, your plan, and I just want to sketch this one out really specifically. I'm what's called an entrepreneur. I don't know if you've got this so far. You're a poor entrepreneur. You can hide Bluetooth speakers anywhere. I'm also a poor entrepreneur. So you can start a fake ghost busting company. Yeah. You realize that's what the EPA in the movie Ghostbusters thought was happening. You want to explore the other thing. Like you have validated the bad guy in the Ghostbusters. I am not a product already. No, Air Squared. Air Squared. Oh, Air Squared. That's how they pronounce it. Nobody's going to know that. Yes. No, no. I'm safe. And also, I live in a police station in New York. This is literally one-stop service away from Ghostbusters. You want to extort senior citizens with herpes in Florida. That's step one. Step two, then after they've had a nice, very long life, I borrow their corpses to drive cars on my giant Uber National Service. This is all coming full circle. Step three, when people are like, what happened to them, I say that their goats have returned to their children. And then I'm on share to exercise those goats. What is the purpose of putting this on things? Why not? What is the purpose of making it float? That's a totally valid question. Apparently, I have been told it makes the acoustics better. I listened to Rihanna on it. So this just floats up like this. I'm just saying, in the actual movie, Ghostbusters. But it has to be on a horizontal surface. If I put it on the wall, it's going to fall. Yes, it will. Yes, gravity will take effect and send it to the ground. Well, that's what I was wondering why you covered this. If that is why. Oh, so doesn't your mark? Oh, no, the magnet works on it. The magnet, but this part only. This part only. Oh, the floating only. Yeah. That requires gravity's help. Got it. So once again, I'd like to point out that in the movie Ghostbusters. Okay. This looks like something by Brookstone. Corrupt EPA official William Peck told the Ghostbusters that they were putting on a sound and light show to confuse old people and then shut down the containment grid and made the Stapof Marshall and then destroy New York City. But you're saying that if they said that to you, they would be correct because you would be putting on a sound and light show. Because there would in fact be no real Slimer. Okay. This is what I'm saying. What else have you done here today, Chris? Let's see. I can't talk about that. I have some markets for tomorrow. But it's gonna be good. It's on the level. I also looked at. This is your first CS. This is your first day on the show floor. Oh, I love it now. You love it because you were not, you were very skeptical. The reality is I'm surrounded by play things. Yeah. None of which makes sense to me. No. And I get to break them. And the people are amused by it because I seem quaint to them. You just act stupid at booths and break things. Yeah. Can I wander the show floor with you? And they see my name tag and they're like, oh, you're from The Verge. I'm like, oh, you don't know what you're in for yet. I'm just gonna wander with the selfie stick and just keep following him. Verge reporters, I think particularly me, have a long reputation for playing with anything and immediately crashing the operating system. I tried to do a Google TV demo at Sony yesterday and I crashed the main Android TV demo. I crashed the main Android TV run time like four times in a row. And it got super Androidy. It's a TV, right? And seeing the Android error message on the screen that's like, this is, you just stopped. Android TV has stopped. And everyone was like, it's not a good user experience. And then the guy took it back and immediately did a flawless demo. So I feel like I've heard Neil Isayi checked out an Android TV the last ten years of this show and crashed it. That's what I do here. What I do here is I go to the television companies and I yell at them. How many years have you been covering an Android TV or Google TV thing at this show? This is eight. It's easily eight. That's crazy. But now it's like the TV companies are bemused by my presence. I'm like, when are you gonna get rid of that cable box? And they're like, huh, you don't see the future like we do. They've just stopped even trying to answer the question when I ask it. They just deflect me. We brought a Mustang to the booth. They jingled their keys. This also feels like a headline that you guys have written probably like 45 times. Google TV is finally dead. Long live Android TV. But I feel like that happened two years ago. That story is old. That didn't go up today, did it? What are you talking about? This went up on January 6, 2015. What day is today? Today. Today is today. It's a tautology. It's true. What? Okay. Dieter is drunk. No. But I mean, what he's saying is right. Right? It's accurate. Google TV is dead again. Now it's Android TV. In a couple years again, it will be Google TV. I mean, he's talking about developer platform tools and stuff. But I'm just saying this is a constant ping pong every year. I'm pretty sure Dieter is like he's expressing feelings. Like in a really deep way. Feels. Dieter is having feels, bone feels. Because today, Palm was officially purchased by Alcatel. So Palm is back. And like, Dieter heard this news and like, you know that emoji of like the crying and the tears are just like flying off to the side? Like that was Dieter. Okay. Let me explain. Let me explain how this went down. I feel like I should give Dieter my seat. Is he here? Dieter abandoned us to put up this post. Dieter is like, Dieter is like Johnny Depp's wife in Transcendence, where she's like, I need to bring him back. And then she plugs Palm into the matrix. And Palm comes back. And Palm just keeps restructuring itself. Right, right. But it's not really Palm. It's like a fake Palm, right? And then Palm destroys the world. Do they open like you're in the movie theater when the movie sucks? And they're like, sorry sir, you're directed this way. But I'm with them like, no, you're not. I like the idea that Palm can execute anything on the level of like destroying the world. Well, you got to put in the matrix first. Palm could barely like release a cell phone. Put Palm in the matrix is another story. Joanna, what else have you seen today? We only have a few minutes left here. What's been going on with you? I've been at the Wall Street Journal booth all day. Yeah, but you've been talking to people all day. Stipples. You can make stipples there, right? You can make stipples there. Everyone should come make stipples. I'm gonna do that. I mean, in terms of wrecking a story trademark of the Wall Street Journal, we're stealing that stipple shit and we're running with it. The Verge 2015 stippled up. Does Rupert Murdoch listen to this podcast? And you call him Rupert now. She said Rup-Dog. I did not say that. I call him Mr. Murdoch if I do run into it. Rup-Beast Extreme. That's his DJ name. I think it is the tradition though for me to come on this podcast and things to be said about whoever I work for or people I work for. Because we're luring you back in by burning all of your connections. Last year it was Diane Sawyer, two years ago. Yeah, DJ Diane Extreme. Yeah. How is Diane? You talk to her? Sometimes I do talk to her. Okay. Who have you been talking to, like beyond stippling yourself? Honestly, the most popular post I did here and I might just stop working is that I saw the future at CES and it is ordering Girl Scout cookies online. I mean, that is a game changer. It is the only thing I've seen at the show that will change my life. Yeah. Can you order them whenever you want? You have to still know a Girl Scout. So it still goes through the local trip. How does it verify that you know a Girl Scout? That seems like a really thorny problem. I'm going to explain it to you and you should actually read the piece because it is interesting about why you still need to know a Girl Scout because the whole reason there are Girl Scout cookies is to teach these girls about business and management and money and all that kind of stuff, right? That was the intention of... No, the intention is to sell delicious cookies. That is also what the real intention is. So you still need to know a Girl Scout to buy the cookies. They either have an iPad app. Well, it's an Android or an iOS app that they can load up. You just put in your information. No more like little form where you fill it out. They take credit card. This is huge, guys. I don't know if you order Girl Scout cookies in your office. I'm excited. I was just worried that it was like a way for Girl Scouts of America to make lots of money and then not have like local troops getting the cash. No, no. This is... The girls are really at the heart of this. I sound like the PR person I talked to yesterday. The girls are at the heart of this. We're encouraging entrepreneurship. So how do you verify that you know a Girl Scout? So a Girl Scout would... You have the iPad app or whatever. They would come to your house or whatever. That's one option. The other option is that they can make a website and then that link can be sent out by their parents, by their friends, can even be posted to Facebook, which I think is a little bit dicey. I don't know if that could get circulated and more people could be finding out about these girls, but they say they can't post personal information on there. They only can post their first name. They're not supposed to post photos and that kind of stuff. And so you can just go onto the website, order the cookies, put in your shipping information, credit card information, and get your Girl Scout cookies. So it definitely seems like you don't actually have to know a Girl Scout. You have to have access to it. Joanna just winked at me, like straight up, just winked at me. She was just like, you do. And then we just moved on. So Girl Scout links are the cryptocurrency of the future. It's going to be, you know, people are trading like, oh, I know a Girl Scout. The Girl Scout cookie crack. Yeah. Yeah. I ate like 20 Samoas. Like, yeah, they only go by ton and I have to write down the number on paper. I use this burner website and I can't put it on Facebook. Yeah, Betty's giving me what I need. Use a GeoCity site to conduct the transition. I think this is the main thing I've seen that will change my life at CES. Yeah. What's your favorite Girl Scout cookie? Samoas. Tagalongs. I had some yesterday. I have a huge box of Girl Scout cookies in my room if anybody wants to. They blind you. If you'd like to stop by. I'm just saying set up a website, learn a little bit about commerce. I've gotten married since I've been on this podcast. They gave Joanna a taste. I should just say that. I've gotten married since I've been on this podcast. What does that have to do with your Girl Scout cookies? I just invited everyone to my room for Girl Scout cookies. That just sounds creepy in all sorts of other ways. She's, you know, continuing with the dealer analogy. She's giving people a taste. Oh my God. Oh God. God. Okay. Anyway. Other things that I covered. I interviewed Ryan Seacrest. How's he doing? He's so tight about Hollywood. What? Was he drinking his juice? He was not drinking his juice. It's like a liquid diet thing. He looks very fit and golden. Well, he probably spent six months of the year working out just for New Year's Eve. Because that's like, that's his Super Bowl. Yeah. Yeah. I think every day is a Super Bowl. I think he, that's a man who wakes up every day and is like, I'm going to have eight jobs today. Do you have it? Where's the typo? Do you have the iPhone 6 typo somewhere? I thought you were pointing to this guy. Yeah. No, this is the iPhone 6 typo. No, that's an iPhone 6. 6 Plus. Oh my God. Yeah. This is the typo too. That's not a 6 Plus case. No, no. This is a 6. No. He has a 6 Plus. That is an iPhone 6 case with a keyboard. Okay. Well, you made one good decision, one bad decision. So wait, how is this typo? So you interviewed Seacrest because of the typo. We talked about the typo on, when you were on the show last year. Yes. One year ago. That's basically all I'm good for here is talking about a really crappy keyboard case. You show up with a rip off Blackberry keyboard once a year. It's like Christmas. I hope there's another one next year. That's better than this. Are you into this? Are you going to use it? I've been using it for like a month and a half on and off. It's not very good. This does, this does seem like garbage. Actually Sean Hollister at Gizmodo did a really great thing. Like in terms of finishing a product, you should not be able to just turn it over. Let me see the raw circuit board. Good job, Seacrest. Look he's a busy man. Anyway, their news is that they made an iPad keyboard, which looks pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. A new iPad keyboard. It's pretty thin. It does light up. I do like things that light up. They're not going to make a keyboard for the Apple watch. I did ask him that. He said no. What's your unfiltered opinion on the Apple watch? Because I'm. It needs a keyboard obviously. There's a handful of watches here. Naturally. It needs a keyboard. Like every Apple product, it needs a keyboard. Yeah. That's because Apple loves keyboards. Right. They love physical keyboards. That's what they're known for. No, tell me. What do you think? Because I was playing with the Sony smartwatch and then like who else did one today? Alcatel. Alcatel did one and there's obviously all the Samsung stuff over there. I have the design is, is interesting to me. When I put it on, it didn't look too big on me, which was like the first thing I was really worried about. I really liked the gold one with the red bands. I'm really into that. That's your move. I really want them to make a rose gold one. I will definitely buy that. I don't match my engagement ring. Because you're married. Because I'm married now. You can come up for cookies, but nothing else. My favorite Girl Scout cookie is called the Hanky Panky. Off the rails button. Yeah. I'm just hitting his butt. But there's two things that I am really excited about with it is to see what the fitness capabilities are. I think they're going to really market that and I think it's probably not going to be very good. For me, this whole health, this whole health monitoring heart rate thing has just been a total failure. I did like a huge thing a couple of weeks ago on how all of these heart rate things are completely inaccurate. Like really, really inaccurate. I went to cardiologists, measured all of these different things. The only ones that are super accurate are the ones you wear on your around your waist or your chest here, whatever that's called. And I think they're going to make a huge deal out of all this. And I just really wonder how it's going to work. And then the notification thing, I just don't think iOS is in a place to make that transition to the wrist. And I think Android Wear has been getting a lot better with some of that. And still not there. But way better with Lollipop. And I just don't think iOS is there. So I don't know. Right. And here at CS, my big theme of the show is that when I keep saying gadgets are back, I mean these ecosystems are big enough to support all this other stuff. And I see it with Android in way different ways than I see it with iOS. So iOS, there is HealthKit and HomeKit and people are building towards it. And all the car stuff here. HealthKit is a nightmare. Right. But Android Health exists just the same way. Android Wear is like I think farther along in terms of here's a way for this platform to be extended in all these other places. But then on the flip side, Apple's hardware ecosystem of things is stronger in a variety of different ways. Yeah. And like that's the race as far as I can tell. Right. You can enable more kinds of devices across more places. And it's funny, like Google's way beyond, like it's CS 2015 and Google's just introducing Google Cast for audio. And they're like really proud of it. And it's like, yo, you invented Bluetooth streaming again. Like that's as far as you got. Right? So to me that seems just like an extension of like people know what Chromecast is now. Like we can take advantage of that. I don't think it's like a totally cynical brand opportunity. I think it's like to make Cast work, you need to send just audio sometimes. Right. But they should have done that three years ago. Okay. Right. And like that's what I mean. Like everyone's I think iOS and Android are like basically the new Windows and Mac. Right. Like those operating systems are doing what they do and they're fine. But all of the innovation is going to happen on these places now across all of these screens that we see. And they're the new foundation and they connect up to the cloud. And so the race is to build out those platforms as fast as possible. And what I think is like fascinating is the only screen that isn't being touched by that or the only type of devices that isn't being touched by that are these TVs that surround us. And Samsung's like, this is a great place for us to invest in Tizen. But Android TV, Google TV, that is Google's way. No, but even that's like the mistake. Right. Like there's still basically a smartphone glued to the back of Sony's TV running Android. They just don't communicate with each other. Right. I think that goes back to some of the car stuff where I think Google sits in a really interesting place. And even though they're not the ones who are doing this kind of the integration with where the company, the car companies are doing it, there seems like a big opportunity there. Yeah. Well, they're playing this, you know, they're in this dance with car companies because historically automakers are very precious about managing the experience in the car. And so both Apple and Google have had to say, we don't want to touch your dashboard. We don't want to muck with that amazingness you've created there. We just want to be an alternative that you can switch into. And so but they're not encumbered in that same way with some of these other platforms. With Android Wear, there's nothing that they don't have to dance around anything. Right. I was just meeting around here, the show floor, like car company executives today just like shooting the shit. Why am I worried about swearing? It's not allowed anymore. Anyway, so we were walking around and we were at the Panasonic booth where they have like the demo of how Panasonic can build you this stuff just like every other. And like literally the demo starts with like the words, your OEM screen. And there's a button that says go to Google and a button that says go to Apple. And then a bunch of cool stuff happens. And then the demo ended with, and don't worry, you push this button and it says your OEM screen again. And it's like that's a mistake. Like the automakers are going to necessarily have to lose that battle. But then again, do you want Google to control like the air conditioning in your car? Or more importantly, like the NVIDIA demos, one of the boxes was like drivetrain. And I was like, you guys can't build us like a fake speedometer that isn't covered in bamboo. Like I don't want you anywhere near how my car is starting and stopping. Like you have bad ideas about what this should even look like. Like maybe, I don't know. Yeah. Where do you see that? I mean, this is year two of this basically. Yeah. Well, so Hyundai, I think strangely, maybe it isn't that strange, but Hyundai is really kind of taking the lead on a lot of this stuff. They're doing, they did the watch and they're also doing this thing called, I want to say it's called display mode, where their entry level navigation system, it shouldn't call it navigation system, it's just a dumb terminal in your dash that supports CarPlay and Android Auto and that's all it does. And both of them, right? Yes. Yeah. And they are like maybe the first ones or the only ones that's all do that. Right. It just has buttons. Right. So there's like all the air conditioning and the HVAC and whatever. Exactly. So they're just basically saying, you know, fine, we understand that drivers just want to see their smartphone in a car friendly way. That's cool. That's the thing we're going to step out of the way. But on their high end cars, they're still stepping in with their own UI. What are high end Hyundai's called? There are some like really expensive Hyundai's. Yeah, that's kind of true now. Like a high end, like a fully loaded Sonata is probably like a $35,000 car. We used to have an intern named Hyunho and he drove a high end Hyundai. What? It's true. Yeah, that's actually true. That's just three sounds that sound the same. You had an intern named Hyunho. That was the whole joke that I made. Hyunho, our intern. I don't know him. He was great. Yeah. He was great. He was living in South Korea. But anyway, yeah. So even Hyundai, which is... I have some tales about some old verge interns. Yeah, you do. I do. That was before you were married. Yeah, that was before I was married. That's not a story. That story is not a story. Off the rails, just the button. I'm hitting it. That brings me back. Can you tell me just real quick, right before I end, I want you to tell me a story. Did you go to Mercedes today? No. The Mercedes keynote. Ross went. Ross went last night. Last night. So I am reliably informed that the CEO of Mercedes gave a keynote with a little buddy, which was a gigantic robot eyeball. And I really wish we... I'm just looking at this picture. And it seems like what we have not talked about today is how much of a spectacle CES still is in any way. Have you seen any spectacle stuff, Chris? Oh, yeah. I saw, you know the... it's basically an iPad on wheels and then you can do like teleconferencing on it. We have one of those in the office. Yeah, I'm explaining it for everyone else who doesn't live with one of these. These people are at CES watching the bird cast. Attacking you while you're working every day. When somebody is like, oh, hi. I don't live with one of those. Oh, god. Yeah. Anyway, there's like a 35-foot one surrounded by like 20 of them in the South Hall. And I was like, oh, this is interesting. And the person's like, yeah, sometimes we make the small ones dance around the large ones. And I'm like, cool. I have to go. Before they kill me. Yeah, exactly. What's your spectacle story? I don't have any spectacles per se. Just a lot of... I mean, unless... You got a little spectacle going on right here at the selfie stick. I mean, crashing... Stern learned a new trick, everybody. Being denied the basic human right to crash into a wall is kind of a spectacle. Wait, what was your reaction when they told you to crash into a wall? You're like, I'm going for it? Yeah, yeah, it's on the site. It's on the verge.com. What's the website? The verge.com. Okay. The verge.com. You might know it. But so when they first asked me to do it, I'm like, cool. And I went like two miles an hour into it. And they're like, no, no, we want you to be way more aggressive. Just floor it. I will watch that. Can we talk about that with spectacle, right? We've had a self-driving car doing its shtick outside of our trailer nonstop for the past two days. And all I do is think of it as a giant inconvenience. And I haven't stopped to think, holy shit, there is a self-driving car right outside. Yeah, but what it's doing is so tremendously boring. Yeah, it's just, it's like driving one foot and parking. I mean, we were here a long time ago, right? We were here early before. We watched them rehearsing, like this Volkswagen will now park itself. This is an eagle. If your garage is like my garage, it's full of stuff. How about you? Oh, you're lying. I'm not lying. Is that the rehearsal? Oh, I know it all. I know it all. No, it's great. And I'm sure they're paid well enough to make up for that part of their lives. Oh, I do want to talk about one other thing car related very quickly. So the trend that's emerging here is gesture control in the car, which I think is super fascinating because historically the problem they've struggled with in cars is that you either have a crap load of buttons and knobs on the dashboard, or you have a finicky touchscreen that takes your eyes off the road. Well, so this gesture control, like BMW, what they're doing is they, you have to go like this. I just can't wait to see people driving and be like. Chris has gotten his hands in a V and he's just stabbing the air in front of him. You know, you're going to look over and see someone just like. What does that motion do? It turns off the screen. And then like pick their nose, you know. It turns off the screen. And then like somebody. In the dashboard, it turns it off. Mostly I'm usually just picking my nose when I'm driving, but this would be very interesting. That, you just kill it. You just kill it. Yeah. Shut up. We're getting our own pie together. We're getting our own pie together. So, if you go back on. You two get off our podcast. If you go like this, it's volume up. This is volume down. Wait, are you joking? Are you serious? No, I'm serious. And if someone calls you and you want to reject the call, you go like that. What? How? You smacked him with the back of your hand? You smacked her? Just did a backhand smack. Child. Wait. This isn't better than touching the dashboard. Oh, it absolutely is. By the way, volume up just for the people listening in their cars. If you are currently listening to the broadcast in your car, which most of you are. Do this right now. What I want you to do is imagine that you want to turn down the volume on the show and just begin waving your hand furiously. No. Slapping. And you want to shut this up. You just slap us quiet. Chris, plan. I don't like you. Slapped. Because, let's be clear. The data suggests that most of our complaints are about you. Also trying to turn an up, down L. Opposite L. Wait, what is that for? This seems like another one of the gestures that should happen. No, that's. No. For left turn? No, this seems like this is a thing. There are already signals for that. That's half a wheeling routine. That's just your. Chris is just stabbing the air now. You got to have the fingers like this. I don't think this is a good idea. So why do you have to have the murderous look in your eyes? No, this is not. Why is that better than hands free? You're just like. Voice. What? Or touching a dashboard? So I'll tell you exactly why it's better than touching a dashboard. Because it's the precise. Because a gesture doesn't require that you take your eyes off the road. Okay. This is the worst idea on the planet. I have it. Okay. And this is 100% definitive. Because putting a Microsoft Kinect and relying your life on it is the worst single idea that has ever existed in all of technology. What if people start doing dance revolution? Dance revolution in the front seat. Oh, I like that. I like that a lot. Ross Miller. Wait, I have it. No, I have it. Love it. Maybe a. Maybe. His name is Mustang. Since we started this podcast, I had a baby. I threw him at the car and then he. I had a baby at CVS a couple years ago. Remember when I got my stroller? I do remember that. That was one of our best videos. Wait, I have a question. And it's a real one. If your car is driving itself, why do you need to keep your eyes on the road? Well, but the technology is. So first of all, the gesture. You can't answer that question. No, I can. I can. The gesture control is one to two years out. Yeah, totally. For five to ten years. Actually, why isn't gesture control here now? It's just not. I mean, like, two companies announced it this week, Volkswagen and BMW. It'll be here very soon. So this is really happening. Yeah. But it's Audi that has the, like, touch screen where you, like, draw the letters. Yep. So actually, so Google has. Like swipe on that. So instead of having a keyboard on Audi cars, you draw letters on a touchpad. And Google has a custom interface for Android auto that works with that touchpad. That makes sense. And in Audi's, you can actually do, like, character recognition inside Android auto. Yeah. And then you just backhand it to shut it off. Is there a stylus that comes out of your steering wheel? There should be. There should be an HTC flyer in the dashboard. I just want to know what Joanna's lazy cheerleading routine will eventually become. It is a good question. I gotta go. The show is over. This is changing the radio station, I think. This is just. No. Why would it be? I need to turn off the car. Stop! You look so mean when you do it. Chris just keeps stabbing me. Okay, the show's over. That was the Virchast. John looks very tired. Thank you for the people who have sat with us today. We are doing this again tomorrow at four o'clock. I'm so sorry. Probably. Here's what I know about tomorrow. We want to start right on time, but we're interviewing a member of the Wu-Tang clan on the stage before we're scheduled to start. And we might just be running on Wu-Tang's clock. So that's a fact. The only clock I want to live on. Not super accurate, but it's a party. So we're doing this again tomorrow at some time around four. We'll have another show for all the people listening. For the people listening, you are troopers. I can't believe as many people listen to our CS Podcast as they do. Please drive your car. People listen to this? Like a lot. It's really weird. I don't know what they're doing or why. These people are physically here listening to it. They're just very tired. They haven't been listening. There's a million ways to follow The Verge. The main way is you should subscribe to our channel on YouTube. You should like us on Facebook and you should follow us on Twitter, which I'm hoping all of you already do. Snapchat. We're the real Verge on Snapchat. Sam is in Vegas with Snapchat, so that's just happening. And then I will say we are having a secret special fourth episode of The Vergecast on Thursday with a bunch of our YouTube friends, including the one and only MKBHD. So look for that. Is that really that secret? Yeah, no, that's not a secret. Well, I didn't say who the other people were. So there's that. So look for that. And then- One of their names might rhyme with tall Menartney. Might. Could be. Could be another VTL. How many are left? Ringo. Oh, I think he just said that Paul McCartney is on The Vergecast. I think the idea that Paul McCartney is a YouTube star may not play. Paul McCartney is an everything star. Okay. Well, that is how we will collapse to a finish here on The Vergecast. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for reading our site. And see, yes, it continues apace. This was your moment to take a selfie and you blew it. Let's just be clear. No, it's going to be my moment to say rock and roll in a second. We're done. You didn't say rock and roll. Do you not say it anymore? I haven't been saying it for like a year. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, I never make it to the end of the podcast. Rock and roll. You blew it.
 Hello and welcome to the Virgcast, day one of CES 2015.
 I am Nilay Patel.
 I am Chris Plant.
 Chris Ziegler here.
 Super confusing.
 And I am special guest, Joanna Stern.
 Joanna Stern.
 Star Wall Street Journal reporter, Joanna Stern.
 I don't even know if that's your title.
 Is it fully Star Wall Street Journal reporter?
 I like Tsar.
 Tsar.
 C-Z-A-R.
 Yeah.
 Yeah.
 Columnist.
 Duchess.
 Correspondent.
 Star Wall Street Journal.
 Star Wall Street Journal.
 Yes.
 But no, it's always every year at CES we have Joanna come back because Joanna is one of
 the founders of The Virg.
 A founding member.
 And an escaped convict of this insane asylum that we call a website.
 So it is day one.
 We had our first episode of the show yesterday.
 It was Chris and I and Dieter in this space at our booth.
 Only everything was completely empty and there were forklifts everywhere.
 I wouldn't call it like an episode.
 It was a test run.
 It was like.
 It was an experience.
 It was a test experience.
 So I was talking to Google this morning and they had just listened to the episode and
 they said we love the forklift conversation.
 They were really excited about it.
 I don't understand how.
 There were self-driving forklifts?
 No.
 There was a forklift driving another forklift.
 Yeah.
 That was true.
 Made by Google.
 Cowards.
 A lot of things happened today.
 I will say we have end of word every day at CES to publish a story that we think sort
 of wraps up the big theme of what we think the day will be.
 Today was Dieter.
 I would say the best headline and sub headline combination in Verge history.
 The headline was we finally know what will come after the smartphone.
 The subhead was acronyms.
 Because it is true.
 Because the two biggest acronyms here that are happening everywhere are the Internet
 of Things and the unfortunately and stupidly named ADAS.
 ADAS.
 Go ahead, Chris.
 Say what it means.
 What is the ADAS?
 To be clear.
 What is the ADAS?
 And who came up with it?
 It's an NVIDIA term.
 Qualcomm used it.
 These are vendors.
 This isn't the automotive industry.
 I've heard the people.
 Go ahead.
 No one on a Ford stage or a Chevy stage in history has said our new car has ADAS.
 That is not happening.
 They will.
 That's a chilling vision of things to come.
 But anyway, so it's a collection of technologies that will enable things like anti-collision,
 self-driving, so on and so forth.
 And these are all things that are on the five to seven year horizon.
 So everybody is talking about it right now because they're working on the cars that will
 get this in five to seven years.
 And that's what I love about CES.
 They're the things that we're going to the technologies that will come to us five to
 seven years from now that require an enormous amount of human capital and investment and
 three hour keynotes and extensive keynotes.
 And then there's just Joanna with a selfie stick.
 And I would say the selfie stick is also one of the main innovations of CES.
 I agree.
 You did just take eight hundred and fifty pictures by accident with that thing.
 Yeah, but that's a feature.
 That's a feature of this selfie stick that I bought in a casino for guess how much?
 Twenty dollars.
 Dignity.
 All of mine.
 Fifteen dollars.
 That's not bad.
 And you love this thing.
 You know, how do you trigger it?
 Let me show you.
 Let me show you.
 So there's a special button on the reverse side.
 The main problem here is that well, there's a lot of main problems.
 It's just not working at all.
 That's not even a good selfie.
 You embed the mic in my selfie stick.
 I'm being told I need to I need I need a selfie mic stick holder.
 You got it.
 It's not working at all.
 We're what we're trying to take a lot of photos right now.
 They're all you got us.
 OK, Joanna, we lost.
 I would just say if you are in your car and you're listening to this, as most of you are,
 what you just heard was someone not using a selfie stick.
 I was up now.
 It's doing it.
 It's taking it is taking photos.
 First, it is somehow.
 There you go.
 We've already taken one hundred and thirty five photos.
 So you troubleshoot that while we move on.
 I want to quickly talk about why I got this selfie stick because I got to see.
 Yes.
 Well, to shut you down.
 So we're going to be talking about taping a bird's chest early without alcohol would
 make it less crazy.
 But she was wrong.
 I do.
 Yeah, you're right.
 I don't need I don't need alcohol to talk about my love for the selfie stick.
 Two things.
 One, I went to Times Square the other day with shooting a video there and everyone had
 a selfie stick.
 Meanwhile, my video was about how ridiculous you look when you take a photo with a tablet.
 But there were a lot of tablets, you know, the big tablet.
 Were they on sticks?
 They were not on sticks.
 That's CS 2015.
 I saw one.
 My first day I saw a tablet on selfie stick here.
 You saw that?
 Really?
 Anyway, carry on.
 Anyway, that was the first thing I realized.
 OK, this is huge.
 Then you guys wrote something about the selfie stick.
 There was a number of people writing about the selfie stick.
 And then I got to see yes on Sunday and I kid you not.
 I like walked into CS unveiled and I just saw a flood of reporters with selfie sticks
 and I felt like I must up my game to cover.
 Yes, this year with a selfie stick.
 Really?
 That's yeah, we have to be competitive at the Wall Street Journal.
 What are some examples of how you've upped your game?
 Well, she bought a stick, brought a stick.
 And actually this devil's is a walking stick as well.
 I used that the other day when walking through the CS desert.
 No but I mean, people are I mean, and it does help if you're shooting your own videos.
 I've seen a lot of that.
 I don't shoot my own videos.
 So that wasn't all that helpful to me.
 You're not selling it very well.
 Yeah.
 Well, she's not selling her own personal selfie stick.
 This one is broken and takes hundreds of photos.
 I'm pursuing getting more selfie sticks.
 I like them.
 They give out of the way.
 I mean, you're talking about the tablet.
 The tablet, it ruins everything.
 It's true.
 It gives the person a great photo.
 But you hold it above your head.
 And then you have another seven inches of like a screen for the person behind you to
 not see.
 But then somebody puts like a tiny phone on a tiny stick.
 You have like 30 of those.
 Everybody can see.
 But Apple made the great points.
 Tiny phones and tiny sticks.
 Apple makes a huge point about how you need the viewfinder, the big viewfinder in your
 face.
 Yeah.
 Right.
 And then you have the new Venue 8, which has this improved Intel RealSense camera.
 And so I kind of talked about like, well, can a better camera on a tablet make us want
 to actually take photos with a tablet?
 Turns out the camera's not that good.
 So no.
 But, you know.
 By the way, I would like to, that is about as precise a summary of the Joanna Stern review
 like life.
 Yeah, that's pretty true.
 Is this hope real?
 No.
 Because Dell made it.
 I've edited like a thousand of those reviews.
 That's true.
 He used to edit many of my Dell netbook reviews, which, yeah.
 But Dell came out with a really cool laptop today.
 Back to today's news.
 They came out with the Edge 10 screen.
 So I will say this.
 There are no tablets at this show.
 Nope.
 I haven't, like I see tablets.
 I interviewed like an older CEO today.
 He had an iPad and like a really old Blackberry.
 And basically like I took in the gestalt of that scene.
 I was like, well, your company is doomed.
 But that's it.
 That was like basically the iPad.
 Business gets done on Blackberry, Neelay.
 Yeah.
 And then you use your iPad to browse the web.
 I've seen lots of phones and I've seen lots of Internet of Things things to plug into cloud
 services and then phones.
 But no one here is showing a tablet of any kind as far as I can tell.
 Well Dell announced this Venue 8 today.
 But the Venue 8 was announced.
 But like the reviews are all out.
 It's like a big splashy announce, right?
 People have had them.
 Then there, what is it?
 I think I've had the laptop that came out today.
 The edge to edge screen.
 Oh, the XPS.
 Yeah.
 I think that's actually a more, far more interesting product than the tablet.
 You're never going to get, I don't know.
 I mean, to me, what was really, I wanted to review the Venue because I thought the Intel
 RealSense thing, you've seen all those commercials with Sheldon.
 Have you guys seen those?
 Sadly, yes, I have.
 Yeah.
 Sheldon shows up to a wedding with a huge tablet and he can refocus the photos or his
 phone.
 Sheldon is from the Bing Bang Theory.
 I don't know where Sheldon is.
 I don't watch CBS.
 You know his name isn't actually Sheldon.
 What is his real name?
 Jim.
 Jim Parsons, yes.
 Right.
 Anyway, Sheldon is really into the RealSense camera.
 Anyway, whatever reality.
 And yeah, Sheldon's really into the RealSense camera.
 And I was into the RealSense thing as well.
 They're going to do some really cool things with it.
 And so, you know, eventually.
 It's similar to the one in the HTC One, the camera, the, what do they call it?
 Oh, UltraPixels?
 No, the tap to focus thing.
 But now they use three different cameras.
 Anyway, I see you guys are not interested in my RealSense talk.
 No, I'm just curious.
 I mean, if Jim's interested, I'm interested.
 Yeah.
 Sheldon is super into it.
 He is.
 And Sheldon has an XPS in Dell on the show.
 I'm a fan of the Bing Bang Theory.
 I think it's really interesting that tablets are basically not here.
 The most interesting laptop I've seen is the Dell one.
 And then Apple in its way, once again, tried to break CS with a big leak.
 And you can discuss the provenance of this leak any way that you want.
 But 95Mac basically released renderings of a rumored 12-inch MacBook or MacBook Air.
 I think it will just be called the MacBook and be like the low-end, cheap, netbooky
 Chromebook one, because that's what's missing in their line.
 And that's like Chromebooks are going into education.
 You think that's a low-end product?
 Not like a, it's Apple, so I think it'll be less expensive.
 How do they differentiate that from the 11?
 I don't think so.
 I think they killed the 11.
 Yeah.
 I think they killed the 11.
 I think they probably end up killing the 11, but definitely keeping the 13-inch and the
 low-end.
 And I think that this 12-inch might be higher-end.
 I disagree.
 I'm on team Joanna here.
 So Tom, we should just get into this.
 So Apple, again, on the first day of CS is in the news.
 It's just standard.
 It's actually surprising that Apple didn't like, Apple could do anything, right?
 Last year they released their supplier responsibility reports.
 Right, that was...
 It was a big deal.
 Last year it's a bunch of leaked MacBooks, and you can believe or not that it happened
 on purpose, timed to this day.
 I think a little too coincidental, but whatever.
 But I will say...
 We're talking about Mark Gurman's leak, right?
 Yeah.
 I just think that's very suspicious to me, that it's on this day.
 I don't know if...
 It's a lot of inside baseball, but I'm not sure that would be his sources.
 Interesting.
 Yeah.
 I know.
 It's my theory.
 It is this day.
 So there was a really, really thin 12-inch MacBook Air with no connectors except for
 one USB Type-C connector, which is the new reversible one.
 And then Tom Warren went digging through USB specs and found that Apple has more engineers
 on that product than anyone except for Intel.
 More than Dell, more than HP, more than Foxconn.
 They're driving that standard the way that they tend to drive SIM card standards.
 And the thing is so thin that Broadwell won't work in it because Broadwell needs a fan.
 But what Intel chip will work in it is Core M, which can drive like a retina display,
 which is why we landed on...
 This is more of a Chromebook thing.
 Which I think is brilliant because I think the iPad Pro is not for that.
 So you don't think it has a very high resolution because of the limitations they have?
 No, I think it has a high-res screen, but I think it has very little raw processor power.
 I think it'll be great at browsing the web and typing some stuff and running...
 And doing all the stuff I do with this very expensive laptop.
 Right.
 Right?
 And that's why it sounds, and that's why I think it might be higher end.
 To me it sounds like a product like the original MacBook Air was, right?
 And no ports, right?
 Now seriously, no ports.
 Yeah, USB and a headphone.
 And think of the genesis of the original MacBook Air.
 Steve Jobs swore up and down that he would never release a crappy laptop.
 And granted it's not Steve Jobs' Apple anymore, but...
 I just think the Mac is having a little bit of a renaissance and PCs are back.
 I think these things have...
 I also heard gadgets are back.
 Gadgets are back.
 This show is about gadgets, man.
 I'm so happy that you think gadgets are back.
 Because your career is safe.
 I still have a job.
 It's great that they're back.
 Apps are cool.
 Selfie sticks or...
 Selfie sticks.
 This is the best gadget of 2015.
 Don't wave that thing at me.
 So that's the thing.
 I mean, look, those are the two prevailing theories.
 One that's high end and one that's more low end.
 Also I think that trackpad stuff he talked about is going to be really big.
 Yeah?
 Yeah.
 Because it doesn't look like they'll bring a touch screen to something like that unless
 we're going to see some other version of Mac operating system, which I don't think we're
 going to see if they're releasing this sometime soon.
 And he talked about how the trackpad doesn't actually have the click.
 I think there'll probably be some crazy touch stuff going on there.
 Well then I won't buy it.
 I mean, I won't buy a computer that has a trackpad that doesn't click.
 That's nonsense.
 All right.
 I will buy it.
 So that's that.
 And then...
 I mean, I've been waiting for this moment.
 I cannot wait for this.
 For a 12 inch MacBook Air?
 I just cannot wait for a new MacBook Air.
 Okay.
 So just the fact that we're having this conversation on this day here at CES in the looming shadow
 of Sony City, the walls of which I will one day scale.
 Everyone turns and pays homage.
 Yeah, that circle is Sony.
 You should go check it out, guys.
 They make a bunch of TVs, I guess.
 Are they a sponsor?
 Sony?
 No.
 No.
 It's a good thing, but no.
 Only the beautiful Ford Mustang.
 Everyone gaze at the car.
 I'll do it later.
 You know when you open the door of the car it shines a Mustang on the ground?
 This is true.
 Which is terrible if you're trying to break into someone's house.
 Not that you should ever do that with a Ford Mustang.
 No, that's your getaway car.
 You know, internally...
 So fast.
 So powerful.
 So smooth.
 When they were developing that, internally, it's known as the Neilight Light.
 Yeah.
 The one that makes me buy a car.
 This really worked out in terms of a sponsor.
 It makes a product that I want that I will never buy.
 Guys, can we talk about that computer one more second, why it's wonderful?
 Because the same thing with the MacBook Air, that is the screenwriter computer.
 And that's where the market is.
 That's the guy who is sitting in the cafe, wants the thing that is light as possible
 and looks nice, and is kind of small and a little boutique.
 And he's going to have his nice hat, and he's going to write his little screenplay on it.
 You're literally making the iBird chimpster comment right now.
 John August on his podcast, he's like, yeah, you're right.
 I did that with Charlie McChrystal.
 I think of it 100% A, I'd like to point out, we are in a coffee shop that we built where
 many of these people have MacBooks.
 Wait, this is an iBird argument?
 That made it sound good?
 And they're all listening to that artist.
 I don't know the name of.
 You just made the iBird argument sound good.
 But they're all listening to that right now.
 They did not know that that didn't sound good.
 I mean, it made it sound like, it made it sound like you were saying it.
 They're like, oh, I should be writing, but I guess once on RSFW.
 Let me take this, Anil.
 Dude, you're a barista.
 That's what you said.
 Let me take this to a darker place.
 I think of it more as the computer for Bradley Cooper's character from Limitless before he
 starts taking the pills.
 So he's in a really bad place in his life.
 He's trying to finish his book.
 He's not succeeding.
 All of his stuff sucks in his life, including his gear, right?
 Because he's poor.
 He has nothing.
 Somebody saw Limitless and it was you.
 It affected me deeply.
 Anyway, that's where I think this computer's gonna land.
 It's the pills.
 The 12-inch Mac LeGair helps you use 100% of your brain capacity.
 That's the ad campaign right there.
 Gambling mastermind.
 Make a better movie called Lucy.
 Yeah, fair.
 It's a movie joke.
 So Chris, you've been driving cars for three days now.
 Tell me what's going on in cars.
 That's why you're on the show.
 Do the thing, do the thing that you do.
 I can't be on the show just because I'm cool.
 Just because I'm a cool dude.
 I have to drive cars.
 Is that what I'm hearing?
 Dude, Chris is having his own private CES.
 I've heard this joke.
 It's not a joke.
 It's true.
 People have told this to me at least a half dozen times since yesterday.
 They're like, just go do your private CES.
 We get it.
 We get you can't go to this event.
 You're off doing whatever.
 You can't see Samsung's floating lady.
 You only can cover cars.
 I will say this, though.
 Chris has promised me a self-driving Knight Rider car tomorrow.
 It's true.
 So I'm ready for that.
 It's true.
 It's happening.
 That's the only reason this is allowed.
 It's all happening for you right now.
 Did Ford have big news this morning?
 They had a...
 So I was on my way to another event and Ford released something like 35 press releases
 in the span of a minute.
 And my heart dropped.
 And I looked through it.
 Yeah, so they're doing some really interesting stuff.
 The combined package of all these releases is called Smart Mobility, which is, you know,
 a buzz phrase.
 But they're getting into car sharing.
 They have like four or five different car sharing experiments that they're running globally,
 which seems counterintuitive because they're cannibalizing their own business.
 Right.
 But I was just talking to them at their booth and they raised the good point, which is that
 car sharing is going to happen whether they're involved or not.
 Really?
 So they might as well get ahead of it.
 Right?
 Yeah.
 So that's kind of their attitude.
 They're like, look, we just want to be on the leading edge.
 Like, yes, it might be bad for our business, but at least we want to be at the front of
 it instead of at the back of it.
 Right.
 If they're going to be shared cars, they want them to be Fords.
 Exactly.
 I'm going to have a Mustang with my.
 Where is this Mustang you're talking about?
 Is it really there?
 You can barely see it back there.
 It's there.
 It's blue.
 Right there?
 Yeah.
 Yeah.
 Oh, that's just a guy.
 That man said that it's right there.
 I'm sorry that Jaren named you Mustang.
 Oh, yeah.
 I think he told me that it matches my shirt.
 Everyone standing by the car is now named Mustang.
 It matches my shirt.
 That's, if you just walk over there and touch it, you can nickname yourself Mustang for
 the rest of the day.
 He said that that was mine because my shirt is blue and the car is blue.
 What?
 John Mustang Dough.
 That's the experience we offer here at the Verge.
 You realize you touch our car, you can give yourself a nickname as long as it's the name
 of the car.
 You have to name.
 Tomorrow we're bringing in a Fiesta.
 Fiesta plants like walking out of here.
 You have to name your child Mustang Patel.
 Oh, we will.
 And then that child will either be a stripper or a stripper.
 Anyway, so yesterday I spent part of the day with BMW, which is one of the freakiest demos
 ever done.
 Last year they did a self drifting car.
 BMW loves to do spectacular stuff at CES.
 They have done it for a while.
 Yesterday they did two i3s, one of which they encouraged to have me drive as fast as possible
 into a wall.
 So I did that and the car stopped itself automatically.
 Really?
 Yes.
 And so they set up this course of, it looks like Super Mario blocks, except that they
 want you to run into them.
 And as you get close, the car very politely and softly beeps at you and then it just stops.
 But what's freaky is that it stops with like a half inch before you hit the object.
 And then they're like, okay, now turn into this wall so the side of the car is going
 to scrape, won't let you.
 Then they ask you to parallel park it.
 So it's like driving a car in a force field?
 Basically.
 Yes.
 This is the future.
 Your car is going to become uncrashable and it's kind of amazing.
 So that was the first demo.
 And then the second demo was a self parking car where you get out and then use your smart
 watch.
 They were using a Samsung Galaxy or Gear S.
 You tap a button on the watch and the car just slowly like wanders off and finds a spot.
 Which is awesome.
 What?
 Yeah.
 And then you press it again and it comes back to you.
 I actually, I'm going to, I followed this little trend.
 I interviewed Android Auto's Andy Brenner.
 I don't know what his title is today, but I was asking about the integration that could
 happen with those smart with Google with gear with not gear with where and Android Auto.
 And it seems like that could be something really cool.
 Yeah.
 Like I either I have my phone or my watch out.
 So the idea for like unlocking the keys or that kind of thing, remembering where your
 parking spot is, your location, that seems really cool.
 And Hyundai is already doing this.
 They showed their Blue Link Android Wear app where you can start the car, stop the car,
 lock the doors remotely.
 You know, if my car was parked.
 Is there like some sort of authentication thing that's happening?
 Yeah.
 So a four digit pin.
 So theoretically if somebody stole your watch and your pin, they could start your engine
 in another state.
 Okay.
 But as long as you don't run into that situation.
 So with the, with the BMW on the return trip, I got into the car in the passenger seat with
 no one else in the car.
 And I cannot tell you what an uncomfortable experience that is to have a car drive itself.
 That's my dream.
 It would actually freak me out less if it was going at highway speeds, but the fact
 that it was going like five miles an hour, just kind of meandering back and forth and
 you know, turning very carefully while I'm sitting in the passenger seat, just hoping
 it doesn't take off is like the NVIDIA demo car.
 It's constantly accelerating 160 miles an hour.
 That sounds like a very advanced system for driver assistance.
 It is.
 And like an ADAS of some kind.
 It is an ADAS of some kind.
 Two years ago.
 What is the word?
 Advanced Driver Assistance Systems.
 How do you spell that?
 ADAS.
 A-D-A-S.
 Right.
 Okay.
 So I was thinking, anyway.
 You were thinking the number eight and then the word ass.
 Yes, that is what I was thinking.
 Yeah.
 And that is actually, that's NVIDIA's code name.
 It's really confused.
 It got messed up along the way.
 ATE ass is what I was thinking too.
 Just keeps getting worse.
 Got it.
 So why do we let you on the show?
 I don't know.
 It's okay.
 I was thinking about how the number eight, if you turn it sideways, kind of looks like
 an ass.
 So it'd be like eight ass.
 That's the infinity symbol.
 That is smart.
 That is really-
 This is the worst branding campaign that has ever taken place.
 No, that is the name of our next company.
 That is an amazing logo idea for an amazing company name.
 I want a button in the center of the table that's an off the rails alert.
 And you hit it when-
 But it's a butt.
 Yeah.
 You just keep your hand down the entire-
 Yeah.
 And there's like a reggae horn that goes off.
 Anyway.
 So-
 I will say this.
 I was interviewing somebody just near the LG booth, which is also near the House of
 Marley booth.
 And they were like, I'm very sorry, this reggae music never stops playing.
 Yeah, but that's kind of chill.
 I mean, that's a good scene.
 You're going to be in CES.
 I'd want to be near the House of Marley booth.
 It was just really, he was just like, I'm very sorry.
 Your audio is going to be all messed up because this reggae music never stops.
 By like date 10, your ears are bleeding.
 You're like, please.
 Well, no, we are stuck.
 Our trailer is near the Volkswagen demo of the self parking cars.
 They muted my mic.
 They definitely muted my mic.
 You're here.
 I hope.
 Well, as soon as you started your like unlicensed focus group on your own.
 I'm welling that idea.
 Worst brainstorm of all time.
 I'm just laying it out there.
 The eight looks like an S. It's amazing.
 You got to stop saying it.
 Also stop sexualizing numbers.
 It helps if you close your eyes.
 Numbers are very sexy.
 We're done.
 That was the show.
 Numbers are a sexy thing.
 We're done.
 CES 2015.
 You ever look close to number three?
 We don't have booth babes.
 We're just printed numbers everywhere.
 Yeah.
 Joanne is right.
 No, no.
 He's over there.
 Unless he's doing it with his mind, he's not doing it.
 Yeah.
 Joanne is off the air now.
 We took her off the air.
 I'm fine with it.
 Technical challenges.
 Okay.
 Great.
 Well, they solved that.
 Continue your stories about cars.
 Well, I'll just say that the rate of a
 advancement in this field is ridiculous because two years ago, Audi did a demo, a self parking
 demo where they needed to set up all of these special beacons in the parking garage so that
 the car could understand where to go.
 And they don't need that anymore because the sensors that they put around the cars are
 so advanced that they can map the environment in real time and park that way.
 So they don't need and the parking garage doesn't need to be outfitted for self parking
 anymore.
 But that's the scary part.
 That's the thing we were talking briefly about yesterday with Nvidia's ADAS when it's like,
 oh, it's going to learn.
 First it'll learn the signs.
 Then it'll learn the people.
 Yeah.
 Then it'll learn how democracy works.
 Then it's 90.
 Then this car will be president.
 Then it will learn how to do keynotes.
 Yeah.
 Yeah.
 Then it will get the oil.
 The keynotes have been delivered by cars the whole time.
 No, that's good.
 I mean, this is the thing I feel like always with auto stuff at CES.
 We see all this crazy blank.
 And we curse on here still?
 I forget.
 It's like a...
 Ish.
 You can say ish.
 A lot of the rules have changed.
 You're allowed to curse in the verge cast until Apple develops filtering software good
 enough to catch it and then not give us the explicit tag in iTunes.
 Okay.
 It's a little inside baseball, which is Apple doesn't have robots.
 For the cheap Apple here.
 That's not going to be cheap.
 I mean, look, you've already talked about robots.
 That's not going to be cheap.
 You've already talked about boning numbers.
 Like great details.
 I did.
 At this point, what do we have left to lose?
 Love numbers.
 But I feel like we always see all this great stuff and then the reality comes that our
 society is not moving fast enough to allow us to have any of this great stuff.
 Yeah.
 And I get very angry that we don't have great stuff.
 I've heard that exact message from several executives this week.
 But gadgets are back.
 And gadgets are back.
 Wait, we have what?
 The society doesn't move fast enough for our cars to drive themselves?
 But gadgets are not mired in a regulatory nightmare.
 Cars are.
 Right.
 And so that's what everybody is saying is that the technology, as always, is moving
 much faster than the government is.
 It's a shocker.
 Right.
 And so we're going to end up with a perfect or close to perfect self-driving car long
 before agencies are going to know what to do about it.
 We need a super cool nickname for people who like have illegal self-driving cars.
 Yes.
 Freeriders.
 And then make a movie starring Tom Hardy.
 Wait, from legal-
 Because you'll have the car, but it'll be illegal.
 Right?
 Right?
 So like-
 You have this underground society of self-drivers.
 Of people who don't drive their cars.
 Right.
 People who are just like, they're in the driver's seat pretending to drive.
 Some sort of like-
 But like they're wearing sunglasses, but really they're asleep.
 It's like a weekend at Bernie's.
 You have a weekend at Bernie's.
 First, find a dead, late, late relative.
 Right.
 Second, put him in the driver's seat.
 Dude, this is how you finally-
 Bernie, we need you to find a dead, late, late relative.
 Dude, this is how you finally-
 Bernie, we need weekend at Bernie's.
 The weekend at Bernie's franchise.
 I keep calling him weekend at Bernie's man.
 His name is Bernie.
 Yeah.
 We need Bernie.
 No, weekend at Bernie's, weekend at Bernie man is the next step.
 Wait, and then-
 You put Bernie in the front seat and you just sit while he drives you to work.
 No, that's what I'm saying.
 Weekend at Bernie's 2025, self-drive.
 That's the name of the movie that I'm pitching.
 Just bring back all the original ads.
 I don't know if anyone from Sony Pictures is over there in Sony City, but we have a
 great idea for weekend at Bernie's 2025 self-drive.
 That is a really interesting idea.
 It's not a really interesting idea.
 Yeah, I like it.
 It's going to be called eight ass.
 That's our company idea.
 We find the corpses.
 We network.
 We get eight asses put in eight car seats.
 Network with the corpses?
 No, everyone's stopping.
 No, we bring them together.
 Joanna, tell us more about yourself.
 A social network for corpses is where you can connect with them.
 Right, and that's where they-
 No, you put them in the driver's seat when you have your illegal self-driving car and
 then you're able to drive yourself to work.
 Or the corpse.
 I don't think the requirement is just a body, living or dead.
 Tinder for corpses.
 It is.
 You just-
 Swipe left.
 Swipe left.
 I'm not sure you guys understand the idea.
 Swipe right.
 Do you guys understand the idea?
 I'm very clear on the idea.
 The idea does not have contours.
 The idea is pretty straightforward.
 You think it's clear?
 Yeah.
 We'll be talking about that.
 Yeah, yeah.
 Are there any investors, Rock?
 Any VCs with something to prove?
 Yeah.
 Joanna Stern has an idea for you.
 It's robbing-
 Chris is in it.
 It's robbing Mords.
 Terrifying.
 It's terrifying.
 It's terrifying.
 It's terrifying.
 It's terrifying.
 Okay.
 We hijacked your conversation.
 I don't even remember what I was talking about.
 If I'm being honest.
 Cars.
 Cars.
 Yes, cars.
 What?
 I do have a question to go back into the deep.
 What is required legally to have a car?
 It's like, I have a self-driving car.
 How much do I have to touch the wheel before it becomes illegal?
 So right now-
 That makes sense, right?
 How much do you have to not touch the wheel before-
 Well, yeah.
 Sure.
 Well, yeah.
 Before it becomes illegal.
 Yeah.
 So, the National Highway Safety Transportation Administration is the worst.
 Okay.
 They have four levels of self-driving that they've defined.
 Level one is like cruise control.
 Level two is adaptive cruise and then it goes up to level four, which is where you can basically
 sleep.
 And lower levels are not totally clear on the regulatory framework here, but the lower
 levels are obviously legal.
 And the higher levels are being approved on a provisional basis on a state by state level.
 So like Florida is allowing self-driving cars for testing purposes.
 California is, of course.
 And Nevada is.
 So actually, Audi was able to drive a self-driving car from Palo Alto to Vegas this week.
 Right.
 I would not be surprised-
 With no one in the driver's seat.
 Right.
 Well, no, no, no.
 They had someone in the driver's seat.
 Yeah.
 Yeah.
 So Florida is totally first to completely allow self-driving cars.
 Because they have a super elderly population.
 Yeah.
 Yeah.
 And the second I can buy my parents a self-driving car, I will.
 What about a self-driving go-kart or a golf cart?
 Yeah.
 I was in Florida a couple weeks ago.
 It is so bad on the roads.
 It's such a waste of technology.
 What?
 What?
 Have you ever been to the villages in Florida?
 That's gillions of dollars.
 It's like a giant city of-
 A utopia.
 Older people, and it is a utopia, they all make loans.
 It is a-
 They do.
 A giant STD rate.
 It's awful.
 It's like Florida State.
 Anyway-
 Geriatric STDs?
 Yeah.
 I mean, they don't have nothing to lose.
 You know, live life to the fullest.
 I feel like I'm not doing a good job hosting this show.
 Anyway, my point is they have like tons of golf cart areas.
 No, I was there.
 I was in Florida two weeks ago.
 And then they go.
 And got a geriatric STD.
 They're not rape dolls.
 You can't-
 That's what happened to me a couple weeks ago.
 You can't even throw people into the golf cart.
 I have a kid's mate ass.
 Today on the Virgcast, we talked about that time I went to Florida by Chris Plant.
 Thank you very much.
 Yeah.
 What did you do here?
 What did you do for your job today in Vegas?
 Oh, they're right over there.
 Right there.
 So I saw that levitating speaker.
 Okay.
 Right?
 And I was like, this is great.
 How does the magic work?
 And they're like, oh, it's magnets.
 It's really strong magnets.
 And you have to use like a device just to get them balanced.
 One magnet like field over the other.
 And that's what makes the speaker float.
 And I was like, okay, that's cool.
 But since they're strong magnets, what can they stick to?
 And the guy was like, I don't know.
 And I was like, could it stick to your phone?
 And he's like, we can try.
 And it did.
 And I was like, can it stick to this wall bracket?
 And he's like, I don't know.
 So then I tried that.
 And it did that too.
 So then I had a big idea.
 Levitating.
 Cool.
 Neat.
 Not useful for me.
 It works in 33 feet for 12 hours.
 You go into your neighbor's house.
 You put it up way high in their house.
 And then you just randomly turn on music.
 And you're like, I don't know.
 Maybe there's a ghost in your house.
 Maybe you should pay me money to hear that ghost.
 You live in New York.
 I have like 20 neighbors I could do that to.
 So wait, your plan, and I just want to sketch this one out really specifically.
 I'm what's called an entrepreneur.
 I don't know if you've got this so far.
 You're a poor entrepreneur.
 You can hide Bluetooth speakers anywhere.
 I'm also a poor entrepreneur.
 So you can start a fake ghost busting company.
 Yeah.
 You realize that's what the EPA in the movie Ghostbusters thought was happening.
 You want to explore the other thing.
 Like you have validated the bad guy in the Ghostbusters.
 I am not a product already.
 No, Air Squared.
 Air Squared.
 Oh, Air Squared.
 That's how they pronounce it.
 Nobody's going to know that.
 Yes.
 No, no.
 I'm safe.
 And also, I live in a police station in New York.
 This is literally one-stop service away from Ghostbusters.
 You want to extort senior citizens with herpes in Florida.
 That's step one.
 Step two, then after they've had a nice, very long life, I borrow their corpses to drive
 cars on my giant Uber National Service.
 This is all coming full circle.
 Step three, when people are like, what happened to them, I say that their goats have returned
 to their children.
 And then I'm on share to exercise those goats.
 What is the purpose of putting this on things?
 Why not?
 What is the purpose of making it float?
 That's a totally valid question.
 Apparently, I have been told it makes the acoustics better.
 I listened to Rihanna on it.
 So this just floats up like this.
 I'm just saying, in the actual movie, Ghostbusters.
 But it has to be on a horizontal surface.
 If I put it on the wall, it's going to fall.
 Yes, it will.
 Yes, gravity will take effect and send it to the ground.
 Well, that's what I was wondering why you covered this.
 If that is why.
 Oh, so doesn't your mark?
 Oh, no, the magnet works on it.
 The magnet, but this part only.
 This part only.
 Oh, the floating only.
 Yeah.
 That requires gravity's help.
 Got it.
 So once again, I'd like to point out that in the movie Ghostbusters.
 Okay.
 This looks like something by Brookstone.
 Corrupt EPA official William Peck told the Ghostbusters that they were putting on a sound
 and light show to confuse old people and then shut down the containment grid and made the
 Stapof Marshall and then destroy New York City.
 But you're saying that if they said that to you, they would be correct because you would
 be putting on a sound and light show.
 Because there would in fact be no real Slimer.
 Okay.
 This is what I'm saying.
 What else have you done here today, Chris?
 Let's see.
 I can't talk about that.
 I have some markets for tomorrow.
 But it's gonna be good.
 It's on the level.
 I also looked at.
 This is your first CS.
 This is your first day on the show floor.
 Oh, I love it now.
 You love it because you were not, you were very skeptical.
 The reality is I'm surrounded by play things.
 Yeah.
 None of which makes sense to me.
 No.
 And I get to break them.
 And the people are amused by it because I seem quaint to them.
 You just act stupid at booths and break things.
 Yeah.
 Can I wander the show floor with you?
 And they see my name tag and they're like, oh, you're from The Verge.
 I'm like, oh, you don't know what you're in for yet.
 I'm just gonna wander with the selfie stick and just keep following him.
 Verge reporters, I think particularly me, have a long reputation for playing with anything
 and immediately crashing the operating system.
 I tried to do a Google TV demo at Sony yesterday and I crashed the main Android TV demo.
 I crashed the main Android TV run time like four times in a row.
 And it got super Androidy.
 It's a TV, right?
 And seeing the Android error message on the screen that's like, this is, you just stopped.
 Android TV has stopped.
 And everyone was like, it's not a good user experience.
 And then the guy took it back and immediately did a flawless demo.
 So I feel like I've heard Neil Isayi checked out an Android TV the last ten years of this
 show and crashed it.
 That's what I do here.
 What I do here is I go to the television companies and I yell at them.
 How many years have you been covering an Android TV or Google TV thing at this show?
 This is eight.
 It's easily eight.
 That's crazy.
 But now it's like the TV companies are bemused by my presence.
 I'm like, when are you gonna get rid of that cable box?
 And they're like, huh, you don't see the future like we do.
 They've just stopped even trying to answer the question when I ask it.
 They just deflect me.
 We brought a Mustang to the booth.
 They jingled their keys.
 This also feels like a headline that you guys have written probably like 45 times.
 Google TV is finally dead.
 Long live Android TV.
 But I feel like that happened two years ago.
 That story is old.
 That didn't go up today, did it?
 What are you talking about?
 This went up on January 6, 2015.
 What day is today?
 Today.
 Today is today.
 It's a tautology.
 It's true.
 What?
 Okay.
 Dieter is drunk.
 No.
 But I mean, what he's saying is right.
 Right?
 It's accurate.
 Google TV is dead again.
 Now it's Android TV.
 In a couple years again, it will be Google TV.
 I mean, he's talking about developer platform tools and stuff.
 But I'm just saying this is a constant ping pong every year.
 I'm pretty sure Dieter is like he's expressing feelings.
 Like in a really deep way.
 Feels.
 Dieter is having feels, bone feels.
 Because today, Palm was officially purchased by Alcatel.
 So Palm is back.
 And like, Dieter heard this news and like, you know that emoji of like the crying and
 the tears are just like flying off to the side?
 Like that was Dieter.
 Okay.
 Let me explain.
 Let me explain how this went down.
 I feel like I should give Dieter my seat.
 Is he here?
 Dieter abandoned us to put up this post.
 Dieter is like, Dieter is like Johnny Depp's wife in Transcendence, where she's like, I
 need to bring him back.
 And then she plugs Palm into the matrix.
 And Palm comes back.
 And Palm just keeps restructuring itself.
 Right, right.
 But it's not really Palm.
 It's like a fake Palm, right?
 And then Palm destroys the world.
 Do they open like you're in the movie theater when the movie sucks?
 And they're like, sorry sir, you're directed this way.
 But I'm with them like, no, you're not.
 I like the idea that Palm can execute anything on the level of like destroying the world.
 Well, you got to put in the matrix first.
 Palm could barely like release a cell phone.
 Put Palm in the matrix is another story.
 Joanna, what else have you seen today?
 We only have a few minutes left here.
 What's been going on with you?
 I've been at the Wall Street Journal booth all day.
 Yeah, but you've been talking to people all day.
 Stipples.
 You can make stipples there, right?
 You can make stipples there.
 Everyone should come make stipples.
 I'm gonna do that.
 I mean, in terms of wrecking a story trademark of the Wall Street Journal, we're stealing
 that stipple shit and we're running with it.
 The Verge 2015 stippled up.
 Does Rupert Murdoch listen to this podcast?
 And you call him Rupert now.
 She said Rup-Dog.
 I did not say that.
 I call him Mr. Murdoch if I do run into it.
 Rup-Beast Extreme.
 That's his DJ name.
 I think it is the tradition though for me to come on this podcast and things to be said
 about whoever I work for or people I work for.
 Because we're luring you back in by burning all of your connections.
 Last year it was Diane Sawyer, two years ago.
 Yeah, DJ Diane Extreme.
 Yeah.
 How is Diane?
 You talk to her?
 Sometimes I do talk to her.
 Okay.
 Who have you been talking to, like beyond stippling yourself?
 Honestly, the most popular post I did here and I might just stop working is that I saw
 the future at CES and it is ordering Girl Scout cookies online.
 I mean, that is a game changer.
 It is the only thing I've seen at the show that will change my life.
 Yeah.
 Can you order them whenever you want?
 You have to still know a Girl Scout.
 So it still goes through the local trip.
 How does it verify that you know a Girl Scout?
 That seems like a really thorny problem.
 I'm going to explain it to you and you should actually read the piece because it is interesting
 about why you still need to know a Girl Scout because the whole reason there are Girl Scout
 cookies is to teach these girls about business and management and money and all that kind
 of stuff, right?
 That was the intention of...
 No, the intention is to sell delicious cookies.
 That is also what the real intention is.
 So you still need to know a Girl Scout to buy the cookies.
 They either have an iPad app.
 Well, it's an Android or an iOS app that they can load up.
 You just put in your information.
 No more like little form where you fill it out.
 They take credit card.
 This is huge, guys.
 I don't know if you order Girl Scout cookies in your office.
 I'm excited.
 I was just worried that it was like a way for Girl Scouts of America to make lots of
 money and then not have like local troops getting the cash.
 No, no.
 This is...
 The girls are really at the heart of this.
 I sound like the PR person I talked to yesterday.
 The girls are at the heart of this.
 We're encouraging entrepreneurship.
 So how do you verify that you know a Girl Scout?
 So a Girl Scout would...
 You have the iPad app or whatever.
 They would come to your house or whatever.
 That's one option.
 The other option is that they can make a website and then that link can be sent out by their
 parents, by their friends, can even be posted to Facebook, which I think is a little bit
 dicey.
 I don't know if that could get circulated and more people could be finding out about
 these girls, but they say they can't post personal information on there.
 They only can post their first name.
 They're not supposed to post photos and that kind of stuff.
 And so you can just go onto the website, order the cookies, put in your shipping information,
 credit card information, and get your Girl Scout cookies.
 So it definitely seems like you don't actually have to know a Girl Scout.
 You have to have access to it.
 Joanna just winked at me, like straight up, just winked at me.
 She was just like, you do.
 And then we just moved on.
 So Girl Scout links are the cryptocurrency of the future.
 It's going to be, you know, people are trading like, oh, I know a Girl Scout.
 The Girl Scout cookie crack.
 Yeah.
 Yeah.
 I ate like 20 Samoas.
 Like, yeah, they only go by ton and I have to write down the number on paper.
 I use this burner website and I can't put it on Facebook.
 Yeah, Betty's giving me what I need.
 Use a GeoCity site to conduct the transition.
 I think this is the main thing I've seen that will change my life at CES.
 Yeah.
 What's your favorite Girl Scout cookie?
 Samoas.
 Tagalongs.
 I had some yesterday.
 I have a huge box of Girl Scout cookies in my room if anybody wants to.
 They blind you.
 If you'd like to stop by.
 I'm just saying set up a website, learn a little bit about commerce.
 I've gotten married since I've been on this podcast.
 They gave Joanna a taste.
 I should just say that.
 I've gotten married since I've been on this podcast.
 What does that have to do with your Girl Scout cookies?
 I just invited everyone to my room for Girl Scout cookies.
 That just sounds creepy in all sorts of other ways.
 She's, you know, continuing with the dealer analogy.
 She's giving people a taste.
 Oh my God.
 Oh God.
 God.
 Okay.
 Anyway.
 Other things that I covered.
 I interviewed Ryan Seacrest.
 How's he doing?
 He's so tight about Hollywood.
 What?
 Was he drinking his juice?
 He was not drinking his juice.
 It's like a liquid diet thing.
 He looks very fit and golden.
 Well, he probably spent six months of the year working out just for New Year's Eve.
 Because that's like, that's his Super Bowl.
 Yeah.
 Yeah.
 I think every day is a Super Bowl.
 I think he, that's a man who wakes up every day and is like, I'm going to have eight jobs
 today.
 Do you have it?
 Where's the typo?
 Do you have the iPhone 6 typo somewhere?
 I thought you were pointing to this guy.
 Yeah.
 No, this is the iPhone 6 typo.
 No, that's an iPhone 6.
 6 Plus.
 Oh my God.
 Yeah.
 This is the typo too.
 That's not a 6 Plus case.
 No, no.
 This is a 6.
 No.
 He has a 6 Plus.
 That is an iPhone 6 case with a keyboard.
 Okay.
 Well, you made one good decision, one bad decision.
 So wait, how is this typo?
 So you interviewed Seacrest because of the typo.
 We talked about the typo on, when you were on the show last year.
 Yes.
 One year ago.
 That's basically all I'm good for here is talking about a really crappy keyboard case.
 You show up with a rip off Blackberry keyboard once a year.
 It's like Christmas.
 I hope there's another one next year.
 That's better than this.
 Are you into this?
 Are you going to use it?
 I've been using it for like a month and a half on and off.
 It's not very good.
 This does, this does seem like garbage.
 Actually Sean Hollister at Gizmodo did a really great thing.
 Like in terms of finishing a product, you should not be able to just turn it over.
 Let me see the raw circuit board.
 Good job, Seacrest.
 Look he's a busy man.
 Anyway, their news is that they made an iPad keyboard, which looks pretty good.
 Yeah.
 Yeah.
 A new iPad keyboard.
 It's pretty thin.
 It does light up.
 I do like things that light up.
 They're not going to make a keyboard for the Apple watch.
 I did ask him that.
 He said no.
 What's your unfiltered opinion on the Apple watch?
 Because I'm.
 It needs a keyboard obviously.
 There's a handful of watches here.
 Naturally.
 It needs a keyboard.
 Like every Apple product, it needs a keyboard.
 Yeah.
 That's because Apple loves keyboards.
 Right.
 They love physical keyboards.
 That's what they're known for.
 No, tell me.
 What do you think?
 Because I was playing with the Sony smartwatch and then like who else did one today?
 Alcatel.
 Alcatel did one and there's obviously all the Samsung stuff over there.
 I have the design is, is interesting to me.
 When I put it on, it didn't look too big on me, which was like the first thing I was really
 worried about.
 I really liked the gold one with the red bands.
 I'm really into that.
 That's your move.
 I really want them to make a rose gold one.
 I will definitely buy that.
 I don't match my engagement ring.
 Because you're married.
 Because I'm married now.
 You can come up for cookies, but nothing else.
 My favorite Girl Scout cookie is called the Hanky Panky.
 Off the rails button.
 Yeah.
 I'm just hitting his butt.
 But there's two things that I am really excited about with it is to see what the fitness capabilities
 are.
 I think they're going to really market that and I think it's probably not going to be
 very good.
 For me, this whole health, this whole health monitoring heart rate thing has just been
 a total failure.
 I did like a huge thing a couple of weeks ago on how all of these heart rate things
 are completely inaccurate.
 Like really, really inaccurate.
 I went to cardiologists, measured all of these different things.
 The only ones that are super accurate are the ones you wear on your around your waist
 or your chest here, whatever that's called.
 And I think they're going to make a huge deal out of all this.
 And I just really wonder how it's going to work.
 And then the notification thing, I just don't think iOS is in a place to make that transition
 to the wrist.
 And I think Android Wear has been getting a lot better with some of that.
 And still not there.
 But way better with Lollipop.
 And I just don't think iOS is there.
 So I don't know.
 Right.
 And here at CS, my big theme of the show is that when I keep saying gadgets are back,
 I mean these ecosystems are big enough to support all this other stuff.
 And I see it with Android in way different ways than I see it with iOS.
 So iOS, there is HealthKit and HomeKit and people are building towards it.
 And all the car stuff here.
 HealthKit is a nightmare.
 Right.
 But Android Health exists just the same way.
 Android Wear is like I think farther along in terms of here's a way for this platform
 to be extended in all these other places.
 But then on the flip side, Apple's hardware ecosystem of things is stronger in a variety
 of different ways.
 Yeah.
 And like that's the race as far as I can tell.
 Right.
 You can enable more kinds of devices across more places.
 And it's funny, like Google's way beyond, like it's CS 2015 and Google's just introducing
 Google Cast for audio.
 And they're like really proud of it.
 And it's like, yo, you invented Bluetooth streaming again.
 Like that's as far as you got.
 Right?
 So to me that seems just like an extension of like people know what Chromecast is now.
 Like we can take advantage of that.
 I don't think it's like a totally cynical brand opportunity.
 I think it's like to make Cast work, you need to send just audio sometimes.
 Right.
 But they should have done that three years ago.
 Okay.
 Right.
 And like that's what I mean.
 Like everyone's I think iOS and Android are like basically the new Windows and Mac.
 Right.
 Like those operating systems are doing what they do and they're fine.
 But all of the innovation is going to happen on these places now across all of these screens
 that we see.
 And they're the new foundation and they connect up to the cloud.
 And so the race is to build out those platforms as fast as possible.
 And what I think is like fascinating is the only screen that isn't being touched by that
 or the only type of devices that isn't being touched by that are these TVs that surround
 us.
 And Samsung's like, this is a great place for us to invest in Tizen.
 But Android TV, Google TV, that is Google's way.
 No, but even that's like the mistake.
 Right.
 Like there's still basically a smartphone glued to the back of Sony's TV running Android.
 They just don't communicate with each other.
 Right.
 I think that goes back to some of the car stuff where I think Google sits in a really
 interesting place.
 And even though they're not the ones who are doing this kind of the integration with where
 the company, the car companies are doing it, there seems like a big opportunity there.
 Yeah.
 Well, they're playing this, you know, they're in this dance with car companies because historically
 automakers are very precious about managing the experience in the car.
 And so both Apple and Google have had to say, we don't want to touch your dashboard.
 We don't want to muck with that amazingness you've created there.
 We just want to be an alternative that you can switch into.
 And so but they're not encumbered in that same way with some of these other platforms.
 With Android Wear, there's nothing that they don't have to dance around anything.
 Right.
 I was just meeting around here, the show floor, like car company executives today just like
 shooting the shit.
 Why am I worried about swearing?
 It's not allowed anymore.
 Anyway, so we were walking around and we were at the Panasonic booth where they have like
 the demo of how Panasonic can build you this stuff just like every other.
 And like literally the demo starts with like the words, your OEM screen.
 And there's a button that says go to Google and a button that says go to Apple.
 And then a bunch of cool stuff happens.
 And then the demo ended with, and don't worry, you push this button and it says your OEM
 screen again.
 And it's like that's a mistake.
 Like the automakers are going to necessarily have to lose that battle.
 But then again, do you want Google to control like the air conditioning in your car?
 Or more importantly, like the NVIDIA demos, one of the boxes was like drivetrain.
 And I was like, you guys can't build us like a fake speedometer that isn't covered in bamboo.
 Like I don't want you anywhere near how my car is starting and stopping.
 Like you have bad ideas about what this should even look like.
 Like maybe, I don't know.
 Yeah.
 Where do you see that?
 I mean, this is year two of this basically.
 Yeah.
 Well, so Hyundai, I think strangely, maybe it isn't that strange, but Hyundai is really
 kind of taking the lead on a lot of this stuff.
 They're doing, they did the watch and they're also doing this thing called, I want to say
 it's called display mode, where their entry level navigation system, it shouldn't call
 it navigation system, it's just a dumb terminal in your dash that supports CarPlay and Android
 Auto and that's all it does.
 And both of them, right?
 Yes.
 Yeah.
 And they are like maybe the first ones or the only ones that's all do that.
 Right.
 It just has buttons.
 Right.
 So there's like all the air conditioning and the HVAC and whatever.
 Exactly.
 So they're just basically saying, you know, fine, we understand that drivers just want
 to see their smartphone in a car friendly way.
 That's cool.
 That's the thing we're going to step out of the way.
 But on their high end cars, they're still stepping in with their own UI.
 What are high end Hyundai's called?
 There are some like really expensive Hyundai's.
 Yeah, that's kind of true now.
 Like a high end, like a fully loaded Sonata is probably like a $35,000 car.
 We used to have an intern named Hyunho and he drove a high end Hyundai.
 What?
 It's true.
 Yeah, that's actually true.
 That's just three sounds that sound the same.
 You had an intern named Hyunho.
 That was the whole joke that I made.
 Hyunho, our intern.
 I don't know him.
 He was great.
 Yeah.
 He was great.
 He was living in South Korea.
 But anyway, yeah.
 So even Hyundai, which is...
 I have some tales about some old verge interns.
 Yeah, you do.
 I do.
 That was before you were married.
 Yeah, that was before I was married.
 That's not a story.
 That story is not a story.
 Off the rails, just the button.
 I'm hitting it.
 That brings me back.
 Can you tell me just real quick, right before I end, I want you to tell me a story.
 Did you go to Mercedes today?
 No.
 The Mercedes keynote.
 Ross went.
 Ross went last night.
 Last night.
 So I am reliably informed that the CEO of Mercedes gave a keynote with a little buddy,
 which was a gigantic robot eyeball.
 And I really wish we...
 I'm just looking at this picture.
 And it seems like what we have not talked about today is how much of a spectacle CES
 still is in any way.
 Have you seen any spectacle stuff, Chris?
 Oh, yeah.
 I saw, you know the... it's basically an iPad on wheels and then you can do like teleconferencing
 on it.
 We have one of those in the office.
 Yeah, I'm explaining it for everyone else who doesn't live with one of these.
 These people are at CES watching the bird cast.
 Attacking you while you're working every day.
 When somebody is like, oh, hi.
 I don't live with one of those.
 Oh, god.
 Yeah.
 Anyway, there's like a 35-foot one surrounded by like 20 of them in the South Hall.
 And I was like, oh, this is interesting.
 And the person's like, yeah, sometimes we make the small ones dance around the large
 ones.
 And I'm like, cool.
 I have to go.
 Before they kill me.
 Yeah, exactly.
 What's your spectacle story?
 I don't have any spectacles per se.
 Just a lot of...
 I mean, unless...
 You got a little spectacle going on right here at the selfie stick.
 I mean, crashing...
 Stern learned a new trick, everybody.
 Being denied the basic human right to crash into a wall is kind of a spectacle.
 Wait, what was your reaction when they told you to crash into a wall?
 You're like, I'm going for it?
 Yeah, yeah, it's on the site.
 It's on the verge.com.
 What's the website?
 The verge.com.
 Okay.
 The verge.com.
 You might know it.
 But so when they first asked me to do it, I'm like, cool.
 And I went like two miles an hour into it.
 And they're like, no, no, we want you to be way more aggressive.
 Just floor it.
 I will watch that.
 Can we talk about that with spectacle, right?
 We've had a self-driving car doing its shtick outside of our trailer nonstop for the past
 two days.
 And all I do is think of it as a giant inconvenience.
 And I haven't stopped to think, holy shit, there is a self-driving car right outside.
 Yeah, but what it's doing is so tremendously boring.
 Yeah, it's just, it's like driving one foot and parking.
 I mean, we were here a long time ago, right?
 We were here early before.
 We watched them rehearsing, like this Volkswagen will now park itself.
 This is an eagle.
 If your garage is like my garage, it's full of stuff.
 How about you?
 Oh, you're lying.
 I'm not lying.
 Is that the rehearsal?
 Oh, I know it all.
 I know it all.
 No, it's great.
 And I'm sure they're paid well enough to make up for that part of their lives.
 Oh, I do want to talk about one other thing car related very quickly.
 So the trend that's emerging here is gesture control in the car, which I think is super
 fascinating because historically the problem they've struggled with in cars is that you
 either have a crap load of buttons and knobs on the dashboard, or you have a finicky touchscreen
 that takes your eyes off the road.
 Well, so this gesture control, like BMW, what they're doing is they, you have to go like
 this.
 I just can't wait to see people driving and be like.
 Chris has gotten his hands in a V and he's just stabbing the air in front of him.
 You know, you're going to look over and see someone just like.
 What does that motion do?
 It turns off the screen.
 And then like pick their nose, you know.
 It turns off the screen.
 And then like somebody.
 In the dashboard, it turns it off.
 Mostly I'm usually just picking my nose when I'm driving, but this would be very interesting.
 That, you just kill it.
 You just kill it.
 Yeah.
 Shut up.
 We're getting our own pie together.
 We're getting our own pie together.
 So, if you go back on.
 You two get off our podcast.
 If you go like this, it's volume up.
 This is volume down.
 Wait, are you joking?
 Are you serious?
 No, I'm serious.
 And if someone calls you and you want to reject the call, you go like that.
 What?
 How?
 You smacked him with the back of your hand?
 You smacked her?
 Just did a backhand smack.
 Child.
 Wait.
 This isn't better than touching the dashboard.
 Oh, it absolutely is.
 By the way, volume up just for the people listening in their cars.
 If you are currently listening to the broadcast in your car, which most of you are.
 Do this right now.
 What I want you to do is imagine that you want to turn down the volume on the show and
 just begin waving your hand furiously.
 No.
 Slapping.
 And you want to shut this up.
 You just slap us quiet.
 Chris, plan.
 I don't like you.
 Slapped.
 Because, let's be clear.
 The data suggests that most of our complaints are about you.
 Also trying to turn an up, down L. Opposite L.
 Wait, what is that for?
 This seems like another one of the gestures that should happen.
 No, that's.
 No.
 For left turn?
 No, this seems like this is a thing.
 There are already signals for that.
 That's half a wheeling routine.
 That's just your.
 Chris is just stabbing the air now.
 You got to have the fingers like this.
 I don't think this is a good idea.
 So why do you have to have the murderous look in your eyes?
 No, this is not.
 Why is that better than hands free?
 You're just like.
 Voice.
 What?
 Or touching a dashboard?
 So I'll tell you exactly why it's better than touching a dashboard.
 Because it's the precise.
 Because a gesture doesn't require that you take your eyes off the road.
 Okay.
 This is the worst idea on the planet.
 I have it.
 Okay.
 And this is 100% definitive.
 Because putting a Microsoft Kinect and relying your life on it is the worst single idea that
 has ever existed in all of technology.
 What if people start doing dance revolution?
 Dance revolution in the front seat.
 Oh, I like that.
 I like that a lot.
 Ross Miller.
 Wait, I have it.
 No, I have it.
 Love it.
 Maybe a.
 Maybe.
 His name is Mustang.
 Since we started this podcast, I had a baby.
 I threw him at the car and then he.
 I had a baby at CVS a couple years ago.
 Remember when I got my stroller?
 I do remember that.
 That was one of our best videos.
 Wait, I have a question.
 And it's a real one.
 If your car is driving itself, why do you need to keep your eyes on the road?
 Well, but the technology is.
 So first of all, the gesture.
 You can't answer that question.
 No, I can.
 I can.
 The gesture control is one to two years out.
 Yeah, totally.
 For five to ten years.
 Actually, why isn't gesture control here now?
 It's just not.
 I mean, like, two companies announced it this week, Volkswagen and BMW.
 It'll be here very soon.
 So this is really happening.
 Yeah.
 But it's Audi that has the, like, touch screen where you, like, draw the letters.
 Yep.
 So actually, so Google has.
 Like swipe on that.
 So instead of having a keyboard on Audi cars, you draw letters on a touchpad.
 And Google has a custom interface for Android auto that works with that touchpad.
 That makes sense.
 And in Audi's, you can actually do, like, character recognition inside Android auto.
 Yeah.
 And then you just backhand it to shut it off.
 Is there a stylus that comes out of your steering wheel?
 There should be.
 There should be an HTC flyer in the dashboard.
 I just want to know what Joanna's lazy cheerleading routine will eventually become.
 It is a good question.
 I gotta go.
 The show is over.
 This is changing the radio station, I think.
 This is just.
 No.
 Why would it be?
 I need to turn off the car.
 Stop!
 You look so mean when you do it.
 Chris just keeps stabbing me.
 Okay, the show's over.
 That was the Virchast.
 John looks very tired.
 Thank you for the people who have sat with us today.
 We are doing this again tomorrow at four o'clock.
 I'm so sorry.
 Probably.
 Here's what I know about tomorrow.
 We want to start right on time, but we're interviewing a member of the Wu-Tang clan
 on the stage before we're scheduled to start.
 And we might just be running on Wu-Tang's clock.
 So that's a fact.
 The only clock I want to live on.
 Not super accurate, but it's a party.
 So we're doing this again tomorrow at some time around four.
 We'll have another show for all the people listening.
 For the people listening, you are troopers.
 I can't believe as many people listen to our CS Podcast as they do.
 Please drive your car.
 People listen to this?
 Like a lot.
 It's really weird.
 I don't know what they're doing or why.
 These people are physically here listening to it.
 They're just very tired.
 They haven't been listening.
 There's a million ways to follow The Verge.
 The main way is you should subscribe to our channel on YouTube.
 You should like us on Facebook and you should follow us on Twitter, which I'm hoping all
 of you already do.
 Snapchat.
 We're the real Verge on Snapchat.
 Sam is in Vegas with Snapchat, so that's just happening.
 And then I will say we are having a secret special fourth episode of The Vergecast on
 Thursday with a bunch of our YouTube friends, including the one and only MKBHD.
 So look for that.
 Is that really that secret?
 Yeah, no, that's not a secret.
 Well, I didn't say who the other people were.
 So there's that.
 So look for that.
 And then- One of their names might rhyme with tall Menartney.
 Might.
 Could be.
 Could be another VTL.
 How many are left?
 Ringo.
 Oh, I think he just said that Paul McCartney is on The Vergecast.
 I think the idea that Paul McCartney is a YouTube star may not play.
 Paul McCartney is an everything star.
 Okay.
 Well, that is how we will collapse to a finish here on The Vergecast.
 Thank you so much for being here.
 Thank you for reading our site.
 And see, yes, it continues apace.
 This was your moment to take a selfie and you blew it.
 Let's just be clear.
 No, it's going to be my moment to say rock and roll in a second.
 We're done.
 You didn't say rock and roll.
 Do you not say it anymore?
 I haven't been saying it for like a year.
 Oh, really?
 Yeah.
 Well, I never make it to the end of the podcast.
 Rock and roll.
 You blew it.