Everyone has a certain style music they enjoy most. Some people even claim to enjoy all types of music. While that’s cute and everything, there are a few songs that I have a hard time believing everyone “enjoys” unless it’s put to comparison with flossing their teeth with a shoestring.
Here are a few songs that, despite coming out decades ago, can still be heard on the radio. Frankly, I wonder how they ever became hits in the first place, let alone why they’re still displayed on a station where listeners are wanted. You know – listeners who prefer to hear decent music, not pathetic attempts to easy listening.
“Nothing Compares 2 U” - Sinéad O’Connor and/or Prince
Apparently there’s a debate about who wrote this song. I’d advise them both to blame the other performer. First of all, if you’re good enough to put together a compilation of songs and record an album, you’d think you could title your song in proper English. Second, what a sap story. While the slow chord changes are soothing and all, this song is ultra depressing. This person has it bad. Anyone able to empathize with the singer of this tune is in severe need of a dramatic lifestyle upgrade.
“Don’t You Want Me” – Human League
This song must captivate the thoughts that run through every man’s head after a guy gets dumped. “What? You don’t want me? I don’t believe you….”
The lyrics, “You know I can’t believe it when I hear you won’t see me, Don’t, don’t you want me? You know I don’t believe you when you say that you don’t need me. It’s much too late to find when you think you’ve changed your mind. You’d better change it back or we will both be sorry. Don’t you want me baby????”
No. She doesn’t. She didn’t think you were that great. Get the hint and get over it, dude. This song is terribly desperate and highly annoying. However, the artist nearly makes up for it in the end of the song by repeating the question “Don’t you want me baby” 87 times. Almost.
Speaking of repetition….
“Sending out an SOS” – The Police
This is catchy. Though, it’s difficult to figure out exactly what it’s about. I feel like it might be about sending out an SOS via message in a bottle. At first I thought I was literally hearing a broken record – was the song that old? All joking aside, the last minute and 15 seconds is a continuous repeat of the phrase “Sending out an SOS.” How does a performer not cringe as he’s finishing his song with something so unoriginal? This is a true indication that this group had some spare time and a severe lack of lyrics. This tune is terrible enough to have gotten the ball rolling on some laws to prohibit excessive amounts of repetition. Just don’t ask “The Police” to enforce it.
Anyway, time to move on to the next song. Time to move on to the next song. Time to move on to the next song. Time to move on to the next song.
“Bed of Roses” – Bon Jovi
This is a good song. The guitar riffs are amazing, but the song title and main chorus are misleading. This guy is trying to play the sweet guy… “I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses.” It’s a nice gesture, but he must not be very familiar with roses (which could very well be the reason for his loneliness?) because roses are caked with very sharp thorns. Ouch! Although it’s a common expression, picturing it in a literal sense makes me cower.
I’m sure there is some reason these songs all became top hits. Someday we might all understand, but today is not the day.
Shootin’ the Wit is a column about everyday life that should never, ever be taken too seriously.