Conversation with SUV Guy.
Hey SUV Guy, I have really enjoyed following you through the rain for the past 20 minutes. It is really not distracting at all that you slow down and speed up every few minutes, usually coinciding with my attempts to pass.
No,really, I don't need you to go any particular speed. You pick one, change your mind, whatever. I will just stay right here, behind you.
And no, I don't care that you don't use your turn signal, it's really none of my business where you go. And it is totally ok that you changed your mind three times. It has just been a happy coincidence that we seem to be going in the same direction.
Speed limits, stop signs, turn signals even those pesky yellow lines down the center of the road? Merely suggestions. You do whatever you like, I am sure when they wrote the rules of the road they meant to say, "that goes for everyone except SUV Guy".
I am just enjoying the view of your back bumper, and fantasizing about blowing your fucking brains out at the next light.
You have a nice day.