This probably should have been with Disappointing game endings week (along with Star Control 3).
|Caminante Nocturno |
This is just Fantasia's "Night on Bald Mountain" with more talking and no music.
LEGEND ETERNITY SHADOW WORLD PEACE HEARTS THUS
SEE I CAN DO IT TOO BLIZZARD
Dude, the guy was just resting next to a tree.
this should really end with the sound of chainsaws and strikers
|Architeuthis Tux |
All the catharsis of jerking off to National Geographic only to discover that you now ejaculate shit and you just stained your mom's duvet.
We've all been there.
|pressed peanut sweepings |
Some cutscenes in this game were cool. This one was not.
(However, writing was crappy throughout)
They were? Anytime someone cool threatened to happen, they'd cut away to its shadow instead or just plain cut away.
Orc and human getting killed in the intro, clash of armies cutting away before they hit, cutting to shadow when Arthus killed his father, cutting to shadow & sand castle when city collapses.
Was there a way we could've saved nature without burning down the forest?
Not to be a monday morning quarterback here.
Actually, they just put in a dungeon in the latest update that fixes this in canon, via time travel magic, THAT'S how apologetic they are about it all.
"We cannot let our enemy win. We must beat them back while we carry out the most difficult of tasks. Once and for all, We MUST destroy the Overmi-I-I mean the Worldst.. goddamnit! WORLD TREE!"
"But won't that bring about an Apocalypse and be a harsh means to an end, [insert name of demigod?]"
"As our ancestors who smile upon us once said, to make an omelet... the breaking of a few eggs must commence. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. As for us, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, and we must not be great men, but just be men."
[Really hard final battle level, cutscene with a few seconds of pretty lights.]
I remember this level as just planting a ton of turrets until the timer ran out.
They somehow managed to make it even worse in Starcraft 2. Hold off the main villain for a set amount of time until mystical artifact was ready to explode. Explosion covers entire planet, miraculously killing only zerg and not humans.
You know how basic storytelling demands some sort of dilemma at the climax? Because Jim Raynor is such an idiot, the dilemma was choosing between killing Kerrigan to keep the galaxy safe, or risking everything and trying to save her. Resolution: zerg-killing explosion magically kills Kerrigan's zerg half and leaves her human again, giving Jimmy his plot cake and eating it too.
Chris Metzen doesn't even have a second hand clue as to basic storytelling. Just endlessly regurgitated empty cliches.
I could write a better story while motorboating a coke mound off a $1000/night hooker, is all I'm saying.
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