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Roommate knows about my cuckold fetish, is reluctant in wanting to seduce my girlfriend
I have a roommate who was using my computer and paged through my browsing history. I forgot to delete it, there was an abundance of links to stories from asstr and literotica. It was all cheating wife stories, seduction of reluctant women, cuckolding, voyeur and also forced bi stories.
After finding this he called me out on it and when I tried to deny it he just laughed at me. He told me there was nothing to be embarrassed about. It was really humiliating, the only person I have ever confided my fetish in is my girlfriend. I have deep fantasies about another man having sex with my girlfriend and he is now using this against me. Part of me just wants to give in and let him have sex with my girlfriend. He is a really loud and dominant black man. He is from Nigeria, he grew up in France. He is really good looking, tall and well educated.
Since telling my girlfriend Christine I have fantasies about her having sex with another man last year, she has indulged me in fantasy play. She really gets off on it. We stopped this for a while after she got drunk and made out with another guy but my sex drive keeps bringing me back into these fantasies. When we have been drunk she has told me that if I want her to have sex with another guy she will do it and I can sit right there and watch. She has even told me while drunk that she can call another guy to come fuck her right now if I want.
This seems to be getting away from me, Ousmane has begun flirting with Christine. He came into my room last week and told me that he would really like to have sex with my girlfriend. He told me he would like me to watch. Further, he said that I could suck on his cock if I want to. He told me he has had guys suck him before and there is nothing weird about it. I was really taken a back and managed to tell him no. But he seemed to sense my reluctance and told me that he knows I want him to and I am just being a sissy.
I am really weak in resisting here. I really want to watch my girlfriend have sex with Ousmane and part of me wants to serve him. I want to suck his cock for him and submit. It would be so erotic to just let him seduce my girlfriend. He is a huge guy and it would just blow my mind to see a big black cock in my girlfriends tight little pussy.
I have never done anything like this before, whether cuckolding for real or explore bi fantasies with another man. Christine and I have talked about this fantasy before. I think she really wants to do it and I am the one holding it back. If Ousmanne is persistent don't think I can say no forever. It seems like a poor reason to go through with this but a really big part of me wants to try this and it does seems like a good way to experiment.
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Go for it and live out your fantasy. I bet you will love it
I say go for it!! If I was in your shoes, I would buy some alcohol, start out watching some sports with him, and when you both have had a couple, call your gf over. Have her start drinking and sit back and enjoy the show. Trust me, me being a husband that has his wife fuck black men, it is a great sight to see. If it's weird the next day, you can blame it on the alcohol.
Sounds like you've got a great opportunity on your hands here.
Living with the guy who's screwing your lady is a situation that most cucks and candaulists can only dream of, and this guy sounds pretty open to allowing you to serve him as well. It's hard enough to find males who will fuck your significant other openly without guilt or emotional baggage, but to find one who accepts the idea of physical contact with you also is rare indeed, especially one who seems willing to be dominant with you.
A few things to consider; It would totally intertwine your romantic and living arrangements, and if anything goes wrong, it could have serious consequences on almost every aspect of your life. This guy would have serious power over you in many different ways, and you have to make sure he is worthy of your trust and won't abuse it. Power over others can be used for good or evil and even though many of us fantasize about being enslaved and even mistreated by a dominant, it might make a negative difference to you if you have to get up and look at the guy over breakfast every morning.
It's also very likely that his Alpha attitude toward you in the bedroom would spill into your everyday interactions with him, too. It sounds like he's the kind of guy who's more than comfortable with taking charge and I could easily see him being your boss around the house as well, whether your girlfriend is present or not. Hell, he's already calling you a sissy for being reluctant, before anything has happened. I can only imagine how far his sense of entitlement would go if you consent to giving him access to, (or control over), your gf's pussy. If you willingly give him your most prized treasure, he will know that you're likely to give him everything else he wants too.
Don't be surprised if you end up cooking meals for him, doing all of the cleaning and chores around the house and being treated as little more than a household servant, or at the very least, a roommate with benefits.
That being said, I'm envious of your situation and if it were me, I'd be jumping all over the chance. I'm a deeply submissive person and the idea of living in daily subservience by the guy who is "taking" my lady from me really arouses my darkest desires.
You just have to decide for yourself if you can deal with this potentially complicated situation.
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Interesting and very hot situation - the guy clearly fits the 'bull' profile, but what does your gf think of him - and it sounds like he could overdo the alpha male element in everyday life.
However, as said before - if this opportnuity ever going to come up again?? - would love to hear how you get on...
When you come face to face with the possibility of loosing the woman you love, if you have a real man inside you, he has to do something. So I told my room mate to piss off, he has since moved out. I told my girlfriend that I realized the error in my fantasies. She was elated and said she only wants to be with me.
It has taken some momentum and some backsliding but I think I have the motivation and the desire to kick this habit for good. All it takes is to develop some self-love and confidence, and give your energy to your lover, not the intranet!
If I actually allowed and encouraged her to kiss another man with a sober mind I don't think I could forgive her, but most of all, myself. I love my woman and don't ever want to risk what I have with her.
A few parting thoughts:
1) She did pick me--not him. So why wouldn't I think I am good enough?
2) I think this lifestyle may have a little bit to do with self-loathing and lack of trust. I am pretty awesome and I can satisfy the woman who loves me all by myself.
3) The funny thing about this whole fantasy is that I am concerned that she is the one that is cheating--but really it is me. I don't trust myself, how could I trust her? I'm not trust worthy, that is an easier problem for me to fix than trying to fix her.
4) She is the most beautiful woman in the world; if I am not ready to fight for her someone else will. And I am always going to regret not fighting.
5) What is with the underlying racism and degradation of smaller males? Brains, agility and kindness are among the most dangerous and powerful traits known to our species. The big oafs should be worried about us stealing their women.
6) If it were not for free porn available to me at a younger age I would not be where I am today. If I had made a few different decisions, maybe I wouldn't have to deal with these feelings. You can follow my lead and pick yourself out of the gutter and try and be a more decent man or let this filth rot away at the most important relationships in your life.
This may not be well received, but this is how my story ended. It may not be as erotic or make you feel good about yourself but the reality of the love of your life sleeping with another man is is far from erotic and feel good when it destroys your relationship.
In parting, a part of me would die if this were to happen. What then?
I wish you well.
But I also have to say that I think you're being naive. My experience is partly from the transgender community. In the TG community, it's common to go through purges, and throw out all of those clothes. And then a few weeks or months later, succumb to those desires again.
Hearing you say that she is the most beautiful woman in the world suggests that you're engaging in a bit of all-or-nothing thinking. If that's the case, then you may be setting yourself up to fail. Any time a nasty fantasy pops into your head, you may be inclined to blame yourself for not being strong enough. For not being masculine enough. While it wouldn't be true, you might want to avoid setting that trap for yourself to fall into.
You say that this is how your story ended. (And they lived happily ever after...) But the rest of your life is still to come. Your story's not over yet. Don't paint yourself into a corner. Leave some room in it to forgive yourself, and also to forgive her. If monogamy came that naturally, we wouldn't have to spend so much energy defending it and enforcing it.
Personally, I have no desire to pick myself up out of anywhere. I know how to be a man, and sometimes it's fun. It's actually a learned skill, and I would be happy to teach it to anyone here who wants to learn it. Free of charge, no obligation. In the meantime, however, I think I'll keep my fetishes.
Again, I truly wish you well. And if you decide to come back for a visit, that's fine too. I'll try not to say "I told you so."
Good luck, I wish you all the best.
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Originally Posted by SaloL
I am relatively new to this site and scene. i think a lot the observations you have made are relevant and valid. it has taken me a lot of soul searching of myself and wondering why does a person become a cuck willingly and is it something that I am interested in or would actually do, so if i could share some of my conclusions.
1. Being a cuckold is not for everyone. In fact is probably not for most. It is a sexual proclivity
2. As everyone is different I dont believe that one particular group has the moral high ground and there is no room for being judgemental. Life is short, its really all about finding what makes YOU happy. If you have decided that you want to fight for your woman and that you are awesome I say good on you, you have learnt something from your dalliance with cuckoldry!
3. I agree with you that for most, the origins of being attracted to being a cuckold is rooted in self loathing, lack of self esteem and that for many cucks, there is an element of masochism and submissiveness. However knowing that doesn't make it any less valid a choice for those that want the lifestyles. It also seems to me that there are lots of different types of cuckolds. After avidly following the thread by Curious Dave i am of the opinion that there is a subset of cucks who love and adore their wives so intensely and there motivation is to keep them sexually fulfilled elsewhere in the hope that that will keep them in a loving relationship. Monogamy is a hard thing to cop for a life time!! I dont know how long you have been with your girlfriend I suspect not long as you are still in ?college, but add in the stresses of life, including children and careers, and you may be able to see why sexual interest wanes.
4. If you have any problems with sexual performance & ability, you don't have to just give in an accept it. There are pharmacological remedies for premature orgasm and impotence for example. You could always change your approach to sex to make it more interesting. That may well be the answer instead of becoming a cuck.
5. I agree with you about the degradation of smaller males. I think a lot of bulls are pretty rude and disrespectful. They have it easy. For most cucks however this is their currency, it is what they enjoy and what they want. The bull-cuck relationship is both parasitic and symbiotic.
6. If you are "on the fence" this site is seductive, and possible to be like a moth to flame, you can't keep away, and it may end up burning you by sucking away any remaining self esteem you have.
Congratulations on your decision. Good luck.
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SaloL thank you for your post. It was well thought out and very heartfelt, but if I can I would like to make a few comments on a few of your points.
First, I agree that this is a scary thing asking the woman you love to sleep with another man. I could not imagine actually doing it outside of a committed relationship. I gave my girlfriend in high school, permission to sleep with anyone she wanted, but when she did it broke my heart and destroyed out relationship. Looking back at it now I can see that our relationship was not very strong to begin with and I was just trying to hold on to her long after it was over. This was back in 1995 way before I found the evils of internet porn. Her name was Christine. I think that is one reason why I enjoy Christinebitg’s post so much, that and the fact that Christine is a brilliant caring person.
Second, I have to agree with Christine yet again, I have purged my clothes more times than I can remember. This again started in my early teen year’s way before I discovered internet porn. I go through periods where I have to dress every day, think about it constantly, but then some minor even will happen and I will start to feel ashamed of my actions and I have to get rid of all my girly clothes and I will not touch a pair of stocking for months. The same is true of cuckolding, but presents itself in a less dramatic fashion.
Third, low self esteem. Do I have low self esteem? Probably. For as long as I can remember I have fantasized about being with powerful women. When I was 5 my first girlfriend was Firestar. I use to think about her every night as I drifted off to sleep, but the funny thing was I did not give myself any superpowers. I was just her boyfriend and she protected me. My self esteem did not get any better in high school, but so what. This web site is full of people with low self esteem. The whole world is full of people with low self esteem. So by definition doesn’t that mean the gauge is broken, not us? Charles Bukowski told us all “the Secret” and we called him a drunken asshole. Bill Hicks told us this whole thing was a caravel ride and in the end you get off right where you started, but we still think we can change the ending of the story. The best you can hope for is finding something that makes you happy, and try to limit the pain you cause others as you search for it.
My last point, of this already TL;DR post. Context. If my wife were to tell me today that she has been having a love affair with another man for the last 5 years, I would be crushed. If over the last 5 years I spent every Friday night getting my wife ready for her weekend with her lover, and spent Sunday evening hearing all about her weekend with her lover… Most erotic 5 years of my life. Context. I love getting a spanking from my wife. She can whip me with a flogger till my ass is red and raw, paddle me till my ass bleeds, stick 18 gage needles through the head of my penis, and it all feels like a thousand orgasms. But if someone lightly steps on my toe, I say “ouch”. When I go to the doctor and they use a tiny butterfly needle to draw blood I wince. If someone tells me a funny joke and slaps me on the knee, I say, “What are you crazy? You can’t tell a joke without hitting me? That shit hurts!” It is all about the context of the situation and your expectations.
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