Disclaimer: You will not find any tips or advice here. I have not received my Regular Decision results so I do not know what “works” and what doesn’t. But I have experienced what it feels like to be deferred, so here you can find my perspective on it.
When I first received my results I was confused about how to feel. Part of me felt crushingly disappointed, but I also didn’t feel as though I had the right to express how I felt. I knew people who had gotten rejected from their Early Decision schools. Who was I, who had the supposedly better end of the stick, to groan about getting stuck in an prolonged waiting period? The colleges had straightforwardly said to them, “No”, whereas the college I applied to had said to me, “I mean you hypothetically could fit us, but in case there’s someone better than you then… I don’t know. You know what, it’s just better if I tell you later.” However, as frustrating as it was in the beginning, after a long period of inner turmoil and totally mature introspection, I eventually warmed up to the fact that I had been deferred.
It has been around 3 months since the results and I have not only “warmed up” to my deferral, but also come to appreciate it. I am now absolutely 100% OKAY with my deferral. Yes, getting rejected ED instead of RD means you don’t get “led on" by your school. But let me explain.
Getting deferred meant that I had to complete other college applications, and consider the possibility of attending other schools (gasp!). This was unnatural to me because through the binding ED agreement, I committed myself to a school that I thought was absolutely perfect for me. But, as I started writing these applications and researching how to answer the notorious “Why did you choose us?” questions, I began to tentatively envision myself at different schools, which at first felt as if I were betraying the ED college I was so emotionally attached to. However, I gradually realized how amazing the other colleges actually were. This “realization” was definitely fueled by the lovely alumni interviewers I talked to, who represented their schools very well and were extremely passionate, funny and full of wisdom.
Months ago, I had my heart set on one college, one I felt was the only one for me and the only one that would guarantee a valuable college experience -- but this is not true. After writing many different college essays (e.g. How do you define yourself??), going through multiple interviews, and thinking about the possibilities of where I’ll end up, I now have more confidence, and a clearer and more developed idea of myself, my aspirations and what I want from college. As cliche as the statement “college is what you make of it” is, I now truly believe it to be true. This is something I would not have been able to grasp without getting deferred.
Looking back, I also feel as if my ED application was not as strong as I thought it was, and so I am really glad I did not get rejected on the spot. (I feel as if I could have easily been). As I receive my RD result from the college in a month or so, I can now say that I am more ready to face rejection than I would have been able to in the ED round.
I have come to see the positives and if you are a deferred applicant reading this, I just want tell you - it is not as bad as you think.
I remember in one of my favorite alumni interviews, the interviewer told me, with full faith and a beaming smile, that people “end up where they’re meant to be”, a statement not only supported by her own experiences but also her friends’. So, wherever I end up, whether it be my ED school or not, I know I’ll remember my time as a deferred applicant dearly, and I hope you do too.