For the last 7 – going on 8 years I have moved across the globe at least two times a year. A little background – my husband is a professional basketball player in France and his season is about 10 months out of the year. So each August, we pack up our lives in southern California and head to France. Then each June, we pack it all up again and move back. We are in our 8th year of doing this and this is the very first time that we have returned to the same city, same house, same school etc.
It’s quite a big trip, as you can imagine. The flight is anywhere from 12 – 26 hours depending on the city and the stops. The biggest challenge is preparing and helping my kids move to yet another city and integrate into the culture. I know I’m not the first mother who has had to make a big move – even though this one includes the additional component of an entirely different culture. A move like this can be tough even with out the cultural and language barriers so I wanted to share some of the tips and advice we’ve gathered that have made our moves easier. Hopefully this will be encouraging to you as well!
Tips to make a Big Move easier on you and your family
While I can’t always say that I practice this little piece of advice – I’m often found frantically shipping last minute items the day before we leave – I do suggest you prepare as much in advance as you can. When you put a plan in place, consider not only the ‘packing’ portion, but plan for your travel and your initial arrival. While you can’t foresee everything that might come your way, do your best to research the culture, area, state,or city in order to ease the transition.
2.) Think Ahead
What will you be doing there? What will you want to have with you from home? Consider family and children’s activities, sports and the seasons so you can plan what you will need, and what you and the kids will have to look forward to. As you sort out your options, you can prepare mentally for both the excitement and challenges that await.
3.) Let them help
If you have kids and they’re going to be moving too, let them be a part of it. It is harder on kids when they feel as though they have no say and they are simply being dragged from one home, one part of the country to another. Ask them to share what they would like to discover in your new city, what are activities appeal to them, even how they’d like to set up their new room. They deserve to be a part of the process. Let them know you are in this together.
4.) Get out there
Once you’ve moved, get out there! I can tell you from very personal experience that it’s very easy to live in a city and not experience it at all. In fact, sometimes it’s easier to just sit at home and watch what you’re friends are doing on Facebook. Shut the computer down, go out and discover your new city. Pick one thing a day or week or month – whatever is doable for your family – and make it a point to do it together. At first, it might feel like a hard thing to do, but it will help you feel home before you know it.
5.) Family bond
We often get comments like “oh your poor kids!” to be living the life we live. Yes, I would say it’s probably hard for them from time to time but I also want you to know I believe kids are resilient. This doesn’t mean we disregard their feelings, but we recognize this is my husband’s job, the way he supports our family. We have to move. So we try to make sure that our family is as solid as it can be and that our kids know no matter what city, state, country we live in, the can always count on mom and daddy. Always. Kids can do amazing things with their parents backing them.
This may sound the same as #4 but integrating is different. You want to get out there and discover your new home, but you also want/need to integrate. Make friends, get involved in groups, sports, activities – whatever! I recognize the challenge here, but also the value. When you add a new language to the mix, the level of complication can increase, but the more effort you make, the more likely you are to love your new home.
Well, that’s about it! I hope you enjoyed these tips and that they’re helpful for you or maybe someone you know making a big move in your life right now. If you have any of your own tips to add, please leave them in the comments! I’m sure we’d all benefit from them!