Easter is a pretty great holiday. Not only is it the most important (and oldest) festival of the Christian Church, but it means that a candy celebration is just around the corner. While it’s great for kids to wake up and see their baskets have been filled with Cadbury goodness (and maybe a dollar or two stuffed inside a plastic egg), there are a few candies that might not be too appropriate for the festivities. As we approach Easter, let’s discuss a few of these candies that hopefully won’t make an appearance in our baskets this year.
I’m sure you’ve heard of Hotlix by now. For over 25 years, they’ve been making candies with insects in them. Real insects. While the act of eating insects isn’t as disgusting now as it might have been growing up (I mean, they’re a good source of protein – right?), they don’t really yell out “Happy Easter!” They yell out nothing, really. Because they’re once-alive, now-dead insects that are coated in fruit flavoring.
If you can stomach the lollipops, maybe try their lightly seasoned cheddar cheese Larvets. Yep, they’re exactly what you think they are.
I vividly remember my first wasabi experience, as it was late in life. I was never exposed to crazy foods as a kid, so my child-like curiosity over the small green blob hovering on the corner of my friend’s sushi dish at the age of 23 was really endearing to the group – and of course, I learned a valuable lesson that day. (“Don’t trust your friends.” No, I kid.)
In general, yes – wasabi candy exists. And I can’t think of any holiday that it’s appropriate for, unless you want to inflict punishment on somebody. If you put these monsters in your child’s Easter basket this year, you’re just asking for a meltdown.
Easter grass is a hilarious invention. First, it doesn’t resemble grass. Second, it’s thrown away mere minutes after being used. And third, it’s messy. But it’s not Easter without Easter grass. Putting candy in a basket just isn’t the same without it.
This idea is both genius, and utterly strange. Target stores sell Edible Easter Grass in a green apple flavor. It’s just like having candy on top of your candy. (In fact, that’s exactly what it is.)
If you have kids who think that bodily functions are hilarious, this might be an ideal find. But if you’re easily grossed out, this might be an unwelcome addition to your basket.
The good news is that these Easter Bunnies poop out wonderful candy. The bad? Well, you might not be able to look at the Easter Bunny the same way again. Some things are just meant to be private.
Harry Potter is an international treasure. While everyone was excited when these brand new Jelly Belly flavors launched (under the name of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, to match the books), the actual flavors are pretty disgusting. Granted, Bertie Bott created his fictional beans by mistake.
By every flavor, they mean every flavor. Sure, some are pleasant. But others, like Earthworm, Earwax and Booger? Not only are they far from the first flavors you think of when you’re dreaming of candy, but they’re definitely not flavors that scream “Hooray for Easter!”