- Name: Divrei Moshe
- Location: Israel
I live in Israel with my beautiful wife and 4 amazing children. We moved from Boston in the summer of 2003. I have been involved in business and professionally with Jewish Youth. I am a terrible speller, editor and my grammar is even worse. Even still, I love to write but never have. I am not great at putting myself, “out there” as I am mostly reserved.....It's a man thing. I don’t like getting into long arguments and discussions; I just don’t have the time. So if you like what I write and my perspective on things great! If you object, I like to say, we can agree to disagree. Moshe is my Hebrew name. Welcome to my blog.
Blogs I try to read
- Sarah Smile
- Shimmy T
- Of tights and seams
- My special Ed
- Devoras Adventures
- Chayyei Sarah
- Hinda's Blog
- Brookline Babe
- a simple jew
- Karban Nesanel
- Dani's Rant
- Out of Step Jew
- cross currents
"From Moshe till Moshe, there arose none like Moshe." (famous Jewish folk saying)
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
To Honor the Memory of Mikey Butler, A year ago this week
Almost 10 years later, after graduating college, leaving the band, and the health care industry, I became the Regional Director of New England NCSY.
At my second National Convention, A young man came over to me that I had not seen in years. His name was Rafi Estrin. I had known Rafi as a little boy in Providence, RI where he lived when I was in Yeshiva. During my years in Providence, I had developed a special relationship with this little boy and his family. We used to call him spitchekup, which literally means pointy-head! When his family moved to Pittsburgh we lost touch. I was so happy to see him and to learn that he was working with NCSY and making such an impression on so many NCSYers in the Central East region. At the shabbaton he introduced me to his friend, Mikey Butler.
I’m not sure when it was that I developed a relationship with Danny. Enough of a relationship that when I asked him to come to New England and speak for us at a shabbaton, he agreed. During my tenure, he spoke for us twice. Those were unforgettable events. At one event, he mentioned to me that our band had, “major suckage problems.” I’ll never forget how he changed that adjective into a verb. It was only a short time later that Mikey began as the drummer for NER.
Mikey was a great drummer. Everyone knows that. What people may not have known was that he never accepted payment for any jobs. Not one. I tried to pay him several times but he would never accept it. Mikey did more than play drums for us. He was also an advisor who gave sessions, optional sessions and spoke at length with our kids. When I needed a nap, he was still going strong.
Mikey gave kids chizuk and he taught them perspective. I still don’t know if kids really understood how sick Mikey was. All those times, playing drums with the O2 tank by his side. I don’t know if anyone really appreciated what the prognosis is for someone with CF. You certainly could not tell from Mikey. Or maybe he just gave you hope otherwise.
Once when we had a last minute cancellation and we needed a guest speaker, Mikey filled in. Mikey spoke in part, about our friend Rafi who had recently passed away from CF. If I close my eyes, I can still hear that subtle pause to emphasize a point, that drop in his voice to capture a moment and the anguish I felt when he would cough and clear his throat. (Hearing a CF cough can take your breath away) Mikey was captivating, he was funny he was inspiring, he was just 20. He never gave any indication to the NCSYers that he knew he was destined to the same fate as his friend Rafi. Mikey was not looking for pity from these kids. But, he must have known. He was a smart kid. So how did he do it? How did he continue day after day, day after glorious day with such a positive attitude?
I remember when I first learned that he took up to 70 doses of pills each day. When you take 2 Advil for a headache, it is hard to imagine what 70 doses of medications looks like. When he stayed in our home in Brookline, I remember going into the guest room and seeing these huge containers of pills. They were like industrial size jugs that he had to lug around with him from place to place. 70 doses are still hard to imagine.
Mikey took these incredible challenges with him where ever he went. His oxygen, his pills, his lungs, Mikey could not escape this reality. But Mikey understood his reality.
Mikey taught me/us that you don’t have to accept the inevitable. You can embrace the inevitable. HaShem has given us all strengths and limitations. We each have the opportunity to take our limitations and make them our strengths.
People greater than I have waxed philosophical about Mikey’s life and the impact of his death. All I can do is remember a kid, whose spirit inspired others. Whose infectious rhythm and passion for life penetrated the depths of our hearts and gave hope to so many. I’ll always remember a kid who on the surface seemed less fortunate than I, yet sometimes I wish that I could have just a portion of his faith, his courage and his will.
May his memory be for a blessing and may the merit of all those people he inspired and whose spirits he lifted in his short meaningful life give an aliyah to his neshomoh.
ari i think you need to work on your years a little better, they dont make sense. KN
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