I walk down the stairs laundry basket in hand and martyred expression on face.
I tell my husband ( sitting on the lazy boy and watching the news )
"I hope watching me slog , is not ruining your joy in watching Television"
Of course what I intend is the EXACT opposite of what was said
My intention is solely to make him feel guilty
My husband – master of the game – serves back
"its nice to rest for a change"
( This game of iworksomuchharderthanyou is a game both DH and I are adroit at and gives us much secret enjoyment. I once told him that he should never leave me because we would lose an entire language –an entire world of words and rules and games that only the two of us know. ) . In fact I have customized and unique lexicons with my sister, my parents , old friends anyone I have a history of shared experience with . We all do.
Still sometimes when I think of all the layers that language has – I despair of how a child with Apraxia- who is only now learning to label( oh sooooo slooowly ) will ever navigate these tricky waters.
Yesterday though in the bathtub R – surprised me
He was in the bath tub and I went out to empty the dishwasher but I told him to stay in the bath – ( he has a tendency to wander around and if I leave the bathroom for a minute I will find him crosslegged on the bathmat – reading a book )
Well when I came back – sure enough he was walking in the bath room
I feigned horror and said his name sternly
R virtuously said "potty" (meaning I was only getting out of the bath to sit on the potty ) and went and sat on the toilet ( of course he did not need to go )
But my heart sang at the craftiness!!!
Reminded me of something that a delightful autistic boy said , this is the second autistic adult – I met
My neighbors friends ( amazing people ) who live in the North and who were visiting them and have a 17 year old son who has Autism – clearly very high functioning - though he said he did not talk till he was 5
Mainstreamed and all that - He was soooooo nice and sweet and smart
When his mom was asking me about how we got our diagnosis - I talked about how unexpected the diagnosis was as R was so attached to us and we had previously thought of Autism was a kind of attachment disorder
HIs mom said - J is very attached to me and J and she reached across and they held hands
How darling is that
We did not get much time to talk as they- his parents were very interested in our story of coming from India- all the Indian artwork that we have in our house
Anyway I digress - but I was reminded again of J's words when he was leaving and I asked him if he had any advice for us
He said "Just because R does not pick up on something .. don't think that he will never do it .. when my brother and I started playing ....( some video game ) he picked it up in a hour and it took me 2 weeks ... and now ( with a shy sweet smile ) I am
twenty times better"
I will drink to that