"We" have this happening now. STBXH claims to be minimal "Fun Dad", but still DD returns from the visits with a new thing or out to eat every single time.
We are in financial stress and I've even sent groceries to cook, like for dinner, and he does not. It truly shows differences in frames of mind.
DD had a very hard time this weekend, because though Fun Dad kept to the usual time table patterns he makes with her, he failed to follow through on phone calls, which are really important to her. So she ended up in tears and talking about lying last night.
I am typical mom, left with the routine, homework, brush your teeth, but what seems to be happening slowly through Fun Dads "mistakes", is that DD is seeing for her own that "all that glitters is not gold", which is a line another BS uses about her kids seeing their dad for the way he's changed.
I get very, very angry when it comes to her and kids being hurt by As, because they didn't choose to be born into their situation, they just kind of landed.
What a great post, SnapDragon. I too am a product of divorced parents, though I was older. My dad was more serious and every day and still is 15 years later, going into their elder years.
My mom is finally having to have consequences for impulsivity and ironically, staying with him would have put her in a nice elderhood, but instead of working on problems, she snuck off.
I agree with your points about it and also find that I take my dad more seriously than my mom and there isn't a ton of trust for my mom, even after all this time has gone by.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.