As a Relationship Confidant, women come to me frequently with this same perplexing question: What does it all mean when the man in my life is distancing himself from me? As a Guy Spy into the Male Mind let me help clarify this male phenomenon. Women as we know tend to be extremely relational and nurturing. Rarely do they pull away from chick chats and friendships, so it is understandably difficult for women to comprehend why someone would do such a thing!
There are standard reasons that a man would distance himself in a relationship, so to help comfort you, please understand that most of the reasons have nothing to do with you! Financial concerns are probably at the top of the list. There is no way you could know whether his bills are paid or his account is overdrawn unless he opened up to you about such details, but believe me if money is an issue for him, he may spend more time than you can imagine worrying about it.
Another key component is his career. If he’s got his boss breathing down his neck, that will create a lot of anxiety for him and cause him to isolate. If he has been read the riot act at work he may still be licking his wounds, so give him the time and space to do so!
Other issues that may spring up for him could have to do with his health or his family. Depending on how long you have known him will determine how much he will divulge to you about such things that weigh heavy on his heart.
The worst thing a woman can do when she senses the man distancing himself is to nag him and keep asking him “what’s the matter” or “what are you thinking about” or “why don’t you talk to me”. What he really needs is time, space and understanding! Don’t use this situation to start drilling him with questions, text messages, phone calls or complaints. He needs you to be strong for him and with him. If he senses strength and confidence from you he will not only open up to you more easily, but that confidence is extremely attractive! He needs a partner that will walk through the storm with him in quietness and strength, not a whining cling-on that drains him.
So the next time you find yourself in this position, don’t focus on what is not happening with your man but focus on what you can do to make life smooth! Take care of you! Pamper yourself, make time with other friends and let him have the space he needs to rally. In doing this you would have enhanced your own life and given him an opportunity to see how amazing you really are!
Jonathon Aslay is a Dating and Relationship Coach who is a Heart Protector for Women and a Guy Spy into the male mind.
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