Was reminded last night about something I’ve longed for all my life – a true ally. Not just someone to have my back – I am blessed with wonderful friends who are there when I need them, who would hand me the keys to their car at 3:00 a.m. when I’ve awakened them from sound slumbers with a mother being whisked in an ambulance to the hospital & our car gas gauge registering fumes (Thanks, Gretchen & Andrew!).
Allies see not only your best face, they see a future self you sometimes can’t. They nudge as well as nurture. They will tell you that the shirt you love to pieces IS actually worn to pieces & needs to be retired. They reflect back your best self & spurs you be more like that image. They serve as a caring goad for better.
John is an almost ally. He reflects back my best self, believes in me 100% & wants only the best for me. He is not a spur. He thinks I’m terrific just the way I am. He never hassles me to be a better housekeeper or a healthier cook. Lets me know I should lose weight, but more as an aside than a concern. Loves me to the moon & back, but it would never occur to him to help me figure out how to actually get there. And he is precisely what I need as a husband partner friend. An indirect ally. But a butt kicker? Never.
Allies kick butt. They help you get out of difficult spots & reach unexpected heights. They see the possible.
Friends are essential for our mental health, but allies are what help us see what we’re capable of doing, are there to badger & brow beat, to be the spur under our saddle that pushes us to more, to better. There is awesome power in having one, in being one.
“There are no words to express the abyss between isolation and having one ally. It may be conceded to the mathematician that four is twice two. But two is not twice one; two is two thousand times one.” ~ G.K. Chesterton ~