When I started blogging, my mind was filled with thoughts, filled with words. My heart felt a lot of things. I could not wait to write them down each day. Writing about my thoughts and feelings helped me resolve some issues I had in me. It taught me a little about forgiveness, about imperfections, humanity, about love. It also helped me discover my passions. It is still helping me get to know myself more and the life around me.
I just noticed one thing and maybe it happens to other people too. When my father went to heaven, it suddenly felt like there is nothing more I can write about. No inspiring stories or reflections in my head. I was not sure how I was feeling. For a long time I just went on with the flow. It has been a year now. I don’t feel the same. However, I find delight in interviewing people who inspire me. Maybe this is a way to get me inspired again and get me back on track.
For now, I will keep looking for that inspiration.
I was doing my daily walk on the treadmill. I realized something. Why do I blog? Why do I write? Aside from the reason that blogging helps me in many ways, I want to preserve my stories and memories. Certainly words will live longer than me. Words can last for eternity. I pray that this blogging site (wordpress.com) will be here forever and that it will care/preserve our life stories.
What is going on in my mind and my heart. I want my children to gain insights and be aware and enlightened of their existence. Of how it is like to live, be human, and be happy. I want them to see how much they were loved and cared for and I treasure every memory I have with them.
Kids, if you read this sometime in the future, this is how our usual day is:
Busy Day. Chores. School.
As we do homework, my little girl awaits for her Dad peeping out the window. The excitement on her face as her Dad’s car parks outside.
Sometimes I complain that my kids are too noisy. They exhaust me with their needs and demands. Then in my heart, I realize, they will grow up soon. Everything will be different. I end up saying, I do not mind being tired and my patience being tried. I wish time will slow down and they can be 2 and 6 year old children who always love to be with their Daddy and Mommy.
Family dinner. My son will often rate my cooking. Just like how they do it in school, I can get these rates * Star Cooking * Happy Face * Needs Improvement. I always get a Star from him!
Routine before bedtime. Brush your teeth, pee, say a prayer. Before the prayer, it is an endless playing on the bed with Daddy. I usually set a time (which always gets postponed) for “calming down” and lying down. I like how it suddenly gets quiet when finally they fall asleep.
TV time (Hulu Plus) with my hubby as we munch on our snacks! Sometimes with a beer or wine but usually with a diet soda. I can not count how many movies/shows we have watched every date night. Sitting side by side with him and cuddling is indeed my favorite!
I do not know if my life is really exciting. I do no get to travel and have adventures. But I feel happy. I am happy. Just thinking about these people I love: my husband, my children, my parents, my siblings, and all my friends all over the world…