First, I'd like to welcome you to the site! I'm glad that you found us and I hope that you'll find something here that will be of benefit you and interest to you.
I read your message a couple of times and also re-read pages 87-88. I don't like to try and second guess anyone, or decide if something they did was right or not, or that I would have done it the same way -- especially, when I don't know all the facts.
Page 87-88, which deals with Step Eleven, seeking guidance in our daily lives and in specific situations. And, it gives us some suggestions on what to do to seek the guidance as well as what to do to improve on our conscious awareness of God, as we understand Him. It also reminds us, that when in doubt, or agitated, it's a good idea to pause -- to chill out, to relax and take it easy -- and ask for the right thought or action to take in the situation.
Could, or does any of that apply to the situation that you're in?
I guess, rather than assume, I should ask first -- have you already taken the 12 Steps? Steps One through Nine -- prepare us, with a foundation and a process by which we can use Steps 10, 11 & 12, in our daily lives and to get the specific answers for actions and solutions.
An illustration of what I mean by that is: Let's say someone suggested that you Google something on the Internet to give you more information on how to do something. (Using Step 11 for this part of the illustration) ... first... you'd have to be prepared, by having a device, like your computer or a phone -- to access the Internet. And, then you'd have to connect to the web -- which takes other actions to get connected. It's only after taking all those other "preparation steps" that you'd be able to "Google for an answer or additional information."
I hope that didn't add to any confusion.
Steps 1 through 9: Prepares you and connects you to The Higher Power. The Big Big Web.
Steps 10-11: Keeps you connected -- as you transmit and receive packets of information -- that can help you and guide you.
Without the preparation Steps (1 through 9) how can we connect for the answer?
So, that's why I ask the question, if you've already taken the 12 Steps?
I hope this helps.