Change, by it’s very nature, takes effort. How much effort? There is no standard answer to that question.
The struggle in change of any kind is the battle that is fought within your mind.
We’ve been talking about mindset shifts during this series; this is blog post 2 of 3.
Let’s look at the following real life example:
Let’s say you want to lose weight. You put together a realistic plan and feel good about sticking to it. In order to keep it realistic and not overwhelm yourself, you determine that you can exercise 3 times a week (walking, riding your exercise bike,…), you will take your lunch and 2 snacks each day to work so you can ensure they are healthy choices.
You start counting how much water you drink daily with a goal to get up to 8 glasses. Finally, to ensure you don’t easily walk away from your plan, you engage a trusted friend whom you will report your progress to weekly.
Sounds like a pretty darn good plan!
The first 2-3 weeks go well and you are sticking to your plan. Then, the next thing you know, it’s been an additional couple of weeks and you’ve only exercised once, you are back to eating out for lunch and you haven’t talked to your friend in a week. There may have been unexpected life challenges that cropped up but, frustration sets in and you say, “forget it – I can’t do it!”
Then, you ask yourself “What is going on?!” “Why can’t I EVER stick to my plan?!”
“Life’s challenges are inevitable. We have to prepare mentally by renewing our mind with inspiration daily to be able to cope when the situation arise.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind
The story I’ve just outlined above has been my personal story more times than I can count. And, not just this story dealing with weight loss. I have come up with great plans for many things in my life, but I also have many failed plans. Failed plans, in and of themselves, do not have to be a bad thing. But, when there is a pattern that keeps you stuck it needs to be looked at and dealt with.
What causes us to put the effort into making plans for change, but giving up when the going gets tough? Or, getting a taste of our goals and then returning right back to where we started?
There are 2 primary reasons:
1.) Making plans on our own and trusting in our own power to fulfill them.
2.) Self-defeating mindsets that have never been uncovered and eliminated.
Unless we do the mental work, and the heart work, required to see things differently, to understand why change is needed, to buy into the effort – we are setting ourselves up for failure. Even when your heart is broken and change is so badly desired, unless your mind makes the shift away from old thought patterns, any new thoughts you have will eventually fade. There won’t be enough depth to see the change through, because true buy-in doesn’t exist.
This begs the question of what it takes to reach “true buy-in?” I’m so glad you asked!
True buy-in comes from desiring something more than you desire your own comforts. Comforts come in many forms:
- Could be in the form of simply believing what you’ve always believed because it’s easier that way.
- Might be, simply wanting things your way and not being willing to budge.
- Sometimes, you might just want to be right or you hang on to perceived control.
- Perhaps you are just stubborn and choose to be closed minded; whether you admit it or not.
- Often times, we sabotage ourselves with fear of the unknown. Sometimes we can see our fears clearly, but struggle to do anything about them and sometimes we don’t realize they are there.
Mindset shifts will always involve a time of war. War with yourself and war with the enemy of your soul. So, you must be very clear about how badly you really want the change because it’s not going to be easy. I think about people I know who have tried to quit smoking over and over again. Who are they battling with? I think about myself in my desire to quit drinking. Who was I battling with?
In my November 5 blog post: “Making Mindset Shifts: Getting There“ I listed some things you should consider when preparing to change your mindset. Please revisit that post if you need to.
Once you’ve begun to execute your plan, it’s time to take courage and win the war!
“Don’t be a slave to your limiting beliefs. It’s your mind, so take control of it today. Stop following the beliefs that don’t help you. Create empowering beliefs that will serve you better.”
― Maddy Malhotra,
How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy
Winning the War!
- Develop the skill of observing yourself. Pay attention to your thoughts. You have a choice in what you choose to believe. Exercise your choice. Do not let thoughts simply run rampant in your head.
“Do not be conformed to this world,[a] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind” ~ Romans 12:2
- Keep your mind focused on where you are headed. Whatever goal or image you allow to penetrate and consume your mind is what you will work towards.
“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” ~ Philippians 4:8
- Do not rely on your own understanding. Rely on truth. Your own understanding easily causes confusion. God does not lead us into confusion. When you are having trouble discerning what is true, step back and don’t make any decisions. Call upon the Lord and seek out wise counsel.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
- Remember why you started down the path you are on. You had good reason when you started. Hopefully, you prayed about it. If not, pray now! If you believe you are headed in the direction you were given, then continue to pray and keep going.
“And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.” ~ Romans 5:4
- Utilize professionals and accountability partner(s). Someone who shares your excitement to reach your vision and will assist you along the way.
“Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” ~ Proverbs 15:22
- Don’t just walk away because you have a setback. Setbacks are only a bad thing if you let them hold you down. Setbacks are actually very value added if they are recognized for the learning opportunity they provide.
“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” ~ Philippians 4:12-13
- Use affirmations. Daily affirmations can be very powerful in helping you remember what is true. I found the following blog site with some great affirmations from the Bible: affirmations-from-the-bible
- Pray and utilize scripture. I’ve put this last on the list because it is the most important. You tend to remember the most what you read last. One of the greatest ways to keep an old mindset from coming back is to lift it up to the Lord the very second that it tries to return. And, the truth of scripture is where you will find the strength and power to carry on.
“Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.” ~ Ephesians 6:10
All of the above are tools in your MINDSET SHIFT TOOLBOX. They will help you stay focused on the new goals you are after and not give in to the old self-defeating mindsets.
Remember, that it’s not an overnight shift. If you have believed for 20 years that you are not good enough at anything you do, it’s going to take time to replace that lie with truth.
What you allow into your mind is critical to your ability to live true to what you truly value. There is a constant battle all around you to take you away from what you value most.
Never take your mindset for granted.
If you aren’t where you want to be – do something about it.
TAKE ACTION NOW….
Contact Debbie for a FREE 30 minute “Mindset Power” Session.
Let’s get you moving in the right direction!
View my recent newsletter article “Falling Into the Right Mindset”