Dyslexia and Stress
All dyslexic children experience varying degrees of stress at school, doing their homework,
and even at outofschool activities they attend. School presents a special challenge, when so
much of their day is focused on dealing with text. For children whose dyslexia is severe it can
be as stressful as a onelegged child going to a skiing or dance school.
The dyslexic child knows that something is wrong, but cannot understand why they find it so
hard to do the work that other children can cope with easily. They often can become very
Signs of stress
The signs of stress in children are well known nowadays: embarrassment, anxiety,
withdrawal, not wanting to go to school, tiredness, irritability, headaches or stomach aches,
difficulty sleeping, lying, thumb sucking, fingernail biting, loss of appetite, bed wetting, or need
to urinate frequently.
They may feel a sinking feeling on Sunday evenings because of school next day.
Teenagers may have sleep disturbances, may go off by themselves, may feel angry longer,
feel disillusioned, lack selfesteem, and have a general distrust of the world. Extreme
behaviours may result, ranging from breaking all of the rules and taking part in highrisk
behaviours (drugs, shoplifting, and skipping school) to depression and suicidal tendencies in
Help children through madeup stories
Sometimes children cannot talk to us about the anxiety they feel. They may not have the
words to express themselves. Homespun, madeup stories are a great answer. The
character in the story can be a boy or girl just like them. They are worried about the same
things and have the same problems to deal with. In the story, the boy or girl finds ways of
coping with problems which worry the child: reading, writing and spelling. As the child listens
to the story, s/he is able to identify with the hero or heroine.
You can ask them, “What do you think David (the boy in the story) was most worried about?”
The answer that the child gives will be a direct reflection of the child’s own fears, or anger.
Children can be very honest about the feelings and fears of story characters even though they
may be reluctant when asked about their own feelings.
Teaching slow breathing
In school, children can start to breathe too fast as a spelling test approaches. This can be like
a panic attack coming on. You can teach your child to sense when this reaction is starting and
learn to control their breathing. If they start taking deep breaths, then count to four before each new intake of breath, they will find that their body begins to relax and they are able to
fend off the feelings of panic.
Cognitive therapy helps us to stop fearing the worst. Ask your child what would happen if
they did fail the spelling test. Would they be expelled? Would they die? Of course not, the
worst that might happen would be if they were made to stay in at break time, but they would
probably get away with being told to work harder by the teacher. This realisation can take the
panic out of the situation.
The most significant help that can be given to any dyslexic child or teenager is to let them see
that they can progress in reading and writing. This usually means hiring a private tutor for
oneonone help for a lesson each week. The tutor will take them back to the level at which
they are actually able to cope, and then lead them on very gradually from there.
Individual tuition always brings about a remarkable change in a dyslexic child’s self
confidence and in their progress. They will often say: ‘Oh, I see now!’ after years of not
understanding in class. Small group support in school is also very helpful, but not as much as
oneonone help if it can be afforded.
It’s a bit like learning to use the computer keyboard, but having missed out on how to use
the DELETE key. Everyone else seems to be getting on so much faster than you are!
Individual tuition fills in those missing steps in learning which make such a crucial difference.
Self confidence exercise
The child is asked to make two lists, one of things s/he is good at, and the other of things
that s/he is weak at. The ‘good at’ list is added to so that the child’s nonacademic skills are
included: swimming, horse rising, cycling, modelling, collecting stamps, relating to other
children, being helpful at home, etc. The ‘weak at’ list has reading, spelling, writing, and
perhaps math, but always ends up shorter than the ‘good at’ list.
Read with your child at home
Whilst reading at school can be demanding for a child, reading at home can be an altogether
different experience provided that the parents use the right techniques. Methods for hearing
your child read are described in an article HEARING YOUR CHILD READ The parent tells
the child any hard words straight away so that the child can get on with the story and start
to enjoy reading. As soon as the child shows any signs of frustration, the parent take over and
reads the whole of the next page or two.
Every child is good at something, so make a lot of this. Put their certificates, badges, models,
etc. in a prominent place in the house for visitors to see. Don’t be afraid to do this every
parent is proud of their children!
Using a number of techniques like these can really help your child to learn to cope with the
stress in their daily lives at school.