The illusion of control
Published Jun 19, 2008
You know how they say you cannot control other people, only your reaction to them? The same apparently goes for things that happen as well. Last Sunday I was put to the test. I left my two-hour breathing workshop at Exhale Yoga Studio in Venice (with the extremely capable and talented John Sahakian) to take a walk on the beach. I left my phone in the car. This is a big move for a woman whose cell phone is practically attached to her head.
So, after my walk, I had six messages. The first was a message saying there was no water at my office – the contractors working on a building next door had shut it off. The next message and several thereafter were about the flood that had filled the office, ran out the front door and into the next door neighbor’s store when someone had returned the water to the building and a faucet had overflowed, filling the office with water.
I was hysterical. I first called back the person who had inadvertently left the faucet in the “open” position since the water was off and she didn’t notice. The next was to the landlord and owner of the building who said they would not help me. So, I was crying, driving home on the freeway, and I was so stressed I almost threw up.
Here I am in the mortgage business (in the worst climate over the last 20 years of doing loans) with a flooded office, post surgery, with cysts and crying on the freeway (and a child to raise). I almost made the mistake of saying, “What more can I take?!” But I decided not to tempt fate, the gods, the God or whomever you believe in.
Instead, I went home, held my daughter, rocked her to sleep and while I wasted most of the night intermittently worrying, each and every time I woke up to worry, I told myself that me being upset or putting my body in harm’s way with the stress wasn’t going to solve my problem. So I took three full breaths in… and three excellent, detoxifying breaths out and committed to doing so each time my mind scurried and lost control.