I was very lucky growing up. Almost every Saturday around 3pm we (my Mum, Dad, Sister and I) would walk the 5 minutes walk to my Aunt and Uncles house where we would have a lovely relaxed meal and the adults would sink a few bottles of wine. The get together would usually end in the early hours of the next morning, and usually after a selection of whiskeys had been trailed by my Dad and my Uncle.
Usually while the adults talked, my Sister, my Cousin and I would play games upstairs. However as we got older we started opting to stay downstairs where I would listen with fascination as two of my heroes would sit and debate…. well…… anything. Politics, religion, history, nothing was taboo, no topic was off limits.
I would sit and listen to them discuss the various view points and I loved it. Anyone was able to join in, and I know I would sit waiting for the conversation to shift from “how Great Aunt Maud was” to whether God created the Universe”.
Of course it wasn’t just my Dad and Uncle joining in, but my Mum and Aunt would voice their opinions and on occasions I would sit and listen to my parents arguing different points of view. Of course we (my Sister, Cousin and I) were encouraged to join in if we wanted to and on occasions I would even come down on the other side of the fence to my parents.
To me, open discussion, disagreement and this kind of debate was normal.
I can still remember being amazed the first time I realised that this may not be the norm.
My Dad and I were both on the church counsel for a while and on one occasion my Dad was very much against the decision being made by the counsel. My Dad and this lady both fell at opposite sides of the fence, and both weren’t willing to budge on their opinion. In the end it went to a vote, and the counsel went with the lady. After the meeting had finished, the lady approached my Dad to apologise for her difference of opinion and ask if they were still friends – but this wasn’t a ‘jokey’ are we still friends. The grown up in front of me was convinced that my Dad would stop being her friend purely because she didn’t agree with his opinion.
Having been brought up around debate and seeing people who love each other disagree I couldn’t believe that this person genuinely believed that in having a difference of opinion a friendship could be ruined.
I have a few older friends who say I seem very grown up for my age, and I think that a lot of this is due to my parents and the manners in which I was brought up. I have been brought up to vote (with my Dad encouraging me to spoil my vote rather than just not bother) and I have been brought up to enjoy a healthy debate. So long as the debate is respectful I have no problem with you disagreeing with anything I say or think. Religion, Politics, Sexual Preferences, War, Dog Training, the Zombie Uprising… I am happy to and would welcome the chance to discuss any of these topics with you.
There is nothing I love more than a good debate.
Looking back, I can now see how lucky I was that I have been raised in this manner. That I will stand up and speak my mind when so many other people may not. Being able and willing to discuss anything with anyone is liberating and something I would encourage more people to do; being able to debate, argue, reason and evolve is such an important life skill.
That’s why I love receiving comments on my blog. That’s why I invite you to honestly tell me what you think about anything I put on here. Don’t think “I don’t agree so I can’t comment” I don’t expect you will always agree with me, in fact I welcome when you don’t!
I hope this space will become a place where people can debate and put across their point of view.