Explaining the unexplainable. Putting words to things that exist beyond language. The mad ramblings of a man trying hard to understand the essence of his life. It may not make much sense, but it is how I search for truth. Blood flows through my veins, and air flows through my lungs, but life’s underlying truths are often shielded in mystery.
Do you ever feel like you are living out your life, while right there in front of you exists something so amazing and great that if you experienced it, you may never be “normal” again? The minutiae of the world would seem insignificant compared to the grandness of understanding. Does it feel like experiencing a dream, and then waking up only to not remember what it was about? Is it as if God’s plan, glory, and creation all come together and just for one moment, you can almost grasp the splendor of it all? And then, like a fading smile to be forgotten in a few minutes, you forget. Clarity is dashed to fragments; understanding returns to entropy.
Sometimes I feel like I am standing at the edge of a remarkably high cliff. So high, in fact, that I cannot see the bottom. It’s so high that a layer of clouds is all I see as I look down. And all I have to do to experience an incredible understanding of life is to just jump. But I don’t know how to jump. It’s just beyond the edge of what my human mind can fathom. I am unable to comprehend how he works outside of time. I am unable to fathom how he is infinite, omnipotent. All I know is that he is wonderful, but oh so mysterious.
Yet somehow, that’s what keeps me believing, praising, pursuing. It’s the fact that he made me to not know how to fully comprehend everything. The fact that I can’t take it all in is the very reason why I continue to try. He is constantly growing my understanding of Him, and every day I look at his glory with a new child-like sense of awe. I sometimes experience intense doubt I don’t understand him. But more and more that lack of understanding is the driving force behind pursuing his mystery. It’s the wonder. The wonder of living for something greater than yourself.
I stand at the edge of something… bigger.
This post was originally published in my first month of blogging, way back on August 14, 2012. I was an insanely bad writer back then, so this post required some major surgery. Even the title’s been changed.
About the photo: “Beyond the Cliff” Does insurance cover standing on the edge of a cliff to take pictures? Let’s not risk it. This one’s more mysterious anyway.
My phobia is that people are going to get mad at me for not following the Daily Post daily prompt.