Living in a neighborhood is a new situation for me as a mom. My children's only playmates used to come to our house because there was an arrangement between the parents to transport the children from one home to another – and there was always an understanding of when the playmates would arrive and when they would leave. Living in a neighborhood has provided a constant stream of companions for my 9 year old son, and at times for my teenaged daughters. There is boy who is here from the second he gets off the school bus until we make him go home – eating dinner with us many nights, and on the weekend he is here in the morning as soon as he chokes down a bowl of cereal. While we enjoy this much of the time, it also starts to wear on you after a while having the door to your house always open with a steady stream of traffic. For instance, this afternoon, my husband who has not been feeling well is attempting to take a nap on the couch – and we just want peace and quiet, and privacy. I honestly don't know what to do. We took the boy to church with us this morning, and dropped him off at home afterwards, and only a few short minutes he was at our house again. I sent him home because my children had some yardwork I wanted them to do, and a short while later he was back. I am not sure where the language barrier is, or where the communication is breaking down.
One thing for certain is that this boy has some emotional issues. Whenever I tell him no about something, he sulks and pouts. I have started to tell him that if he is feeling that he is unable to be with us and enjoy the company, then he can go home. Even after being told no, he will repeatedly ask me something – which is behavior I do not tolerate from my own children, and provokes my son to ask things again to which he has already been given an answer. (Kullen's own fault – but the point is that he is a bad influence in this way.)
Every single weekend he asks to sleep over. I am going to say something that may be unpopular with some parents – but I HATE SLEEPOVERS – especially when kids are young. This particular boy lives only a block away – and I let him stay and play until late – but don't understand the need for him to sleep here at our house. It makes bedtime miserable. It makes the morning chaotic. I am also guarding my son from the late night "chats", and other opportunities for negative influence. I also think that it is rude for him to ask - and have told him if we want to invite him for a sleepover, Kullen and I will discuss that. He seems to have no understanding of how this works, so I try to be patient.
I am really feeling at a loss. I know that it may seem simple – just tell the boy to go home. But, I want to share the love of Christ with him as well. I am just struggling to establish some well-defined boundaries. Any suggestions would be appreciated!