As was expected, the TARP babies made their mandatory announcements yesterday re: what sort of "luxury expenditures" they were will to part with while Tim Geithner owns their asses. Bank of America said it encourages use of the corporate aircraft on business trips for "safety and efficiency reasons" but on the off-chance you're not creative enough to come up with something as good as "I needed to stretch my shit out," don't worry-- they will not be requiring anyone to get pre-approval or reporting the jaunts. Pandito pledged to not use the jet for personal use. Chrysler Financial said no one can fly first class if it's a short flight. AIG promised not to throw celebratory events except those "acknowledging key AIG career milestones" such as making it back to the office after a successful vacation in Croatia and making the right choice between taking the tunnel and the bridge and beating rush hour traffic. And BAC brought up the issue of pimping out one's work space and sent a message to John Thain that they will never let this one go. Whenever there's an important milestone in his life, they'll be there, whispering "George IV chair." When he makes his triumphant return to Wall Street, they'll be there hiring one of those planes that writes messages in the sky, noting "$25,731 Mahogany pedestal table." When he straps on the singlet, steps on the mat and starts shadow wrestling, calling out 'Lewis!' Ken will be there, hammered like a drunk step-father, slurring and heckling "$35,000 commode!"
Office or Facility Renovations
Anything in excess or beyond reasonable variation of standard and not having senior management approval is considered "prohibited" and not acceptable for implementation. Examples include expenditures for specialty or antique furniture, customized finishes, and construction of non-standard office sizes or private restrooms.