Forgiveness isn’t easy to give, just like forgetting never happens when you experience something traumatic. Furthermore, saying goodbye is never easy, especially when there are hurtful feelings that still needs to be mended.
So, how do you get past it all, considering you don’t have the opportunity to talk to that person, or perhaps event? The best thing you can do is write an open letter. Keep it, hold on to it or burn it. (Symbolically letting go.)
Write your reasons for writing the letter, write your feelings. Explain why things are the way the are, and what actions led to way things are now. Write a sincere forgiveness, or apologize. Say goodbye, and mean it.
Doing this, you are releasing all those negative thoughts and feelings. And while it may seem simple, you have to commit to what you are writing. That is the hard part. You have to agree with yourself that once you write things out, once you put into the universe that you have let go of the pain, the fear and the hate, that you will move on and you will not go back. Why?
Because it is healthy. Letting go, and moving passed something that hurt you is refreshing. Even when the other person doesn’t give a damn about your feelings. This open letting is really for you. But again, you have to commit to it. If ever you run into that person again, you can’t recall those feelings and be aggressive. Then you’ve betrayed the whole thing. You have to really agree to what you are doing.
Clearly, you are not doing this for anyone else but yourself. Again this is to release yourself from all the pain. Why hold on to something that is going to constantly bring you down? Why allow something to be that powerful? Letting go is therapeutic and I promise once you truly let go of the issues you will feel lighter. Maybe even better.
If you suffer from severe depression or you have been assaulted in an aggressive way obviously this isn’t going to solve all your problems. If you have a therapist I would suggest discussing this with them. I do agree this is the first step in helping yourself, but you have to decide for yourself if this is helpful.
Until next time!
PS: Even if you feel silly about it, give it a try. This is between you and the letter, no one is going to judge you!