The day after a show always feels the same; I feel exhausted but so alive. My muscles are aching and still tingling from the night before, my mind is unsettled, not much sleep from going over steps, corrections and numerous moments that happened in the weeks leading up to yesterday. There is a buzz in the air, a feeling of exhilaration and accomplishment, I feel happy, I feel complete.
The day after a show is a day of complete bliss for me, it’s the day in between the excitement of the performance and the day of “what next?” Time stops and I can just enjoy that my hard work has paid off and that I am doing what I love; performing. I feel useful; that my life has meaning once again; So this is why I train over 20 hours a week?! If it is, then all the moments of self doubt, pain and frustration are so worth it.
This particular show; The Spring Professional Semester Showcase really had an impact on me; first of all, I felt so free and happy when I was on stage, as cheesy as it sounds there were times when I felt like I was flying! However, it was the positive feedback I received from peers, friends and teachers which really shocked me, all that was going through my head was “Me!? Really..? You’re talking about me? and not someone else?” I guess like many performers, I doubt myself a lot….. I really need to stop doing that. I was in fact so shocked ( and probably the adrenaline too) that the rest of the evening I was shaking, and had absolutely no appetite (friends that know me will know that’s a rare occurrence) and was doing Grand Jetes on the sidewalk whilst singing “Bring on the men”at midnight, maybe this was the cause of my fatigue the next day, just a thought.
The weeks leading up to the showcase (in other words the month of April) were challenging. I am a believer that bad things come in groups and so do good things. It just so happened that during the month of April, the universe decided to throw quite a few unhelpful things at me; I had managed to get sick, then I had four separate injuries (don’t ask me how!), my grandmother became quite ill and a few relationships were on the rocks, there were other minor things too but the point is I got through it, I felt like I managed to take all of it in my stride and in the end I had a great showcase. What I learnt this month was to take time to look after my body outside of dance classes, which may seem obvious, but I’ve always been one of those dancers that says “I’ll be fine, I don’t need to do anything extra”. Well, turns out I do. So now, I roll out and stretch my muscles on a daily basis and I’m feeling like my body is thanking me for it!
Now, I’ve got through the tougher weeks, I feel like the universe is throwing me some nicer things now, and I’m definitely appreciating every single one of them!
Anyway, that’s all for the month of April, very soon I will be writing another post for May….
and it may be my last in NYC. I can’t bear to think of it, but all good things must end one day and new good things will begin again,