My mind and body have been quite tired today. I didn’t get up until about 11:11 and then after I’d had a shower and shaved my head, eaten breakfast etc. I fell asleep on the sofa pretty much straight away at about 13:00 for 4 hours.
This is not a problem, as the next 6 weeks are mine and mine alone. This will be the first time that I have ever spent time on my own, with my new found knowledge of who I am and the wisdom that that brings.
I remain calm and peaceful and I have no desire to act out or get drunk whatsoever, but it’s like there is still a shadow from the past that I haven’t yet released into the light. Part of me, and I think it must be deep within my subconscious, feels like I should be drinking and acting out, as I have always done that when I have been on my own previously.
I accept that this is simply a test that I must endure as part of my recovery. It is yet another process/challenge that I must face with patience and continue to practice in order to make greater progress.
I have learned the basics over the last year or so, especially the last 3-6 months. I know that if I simply continue to do what has been working for me whilst I have been living with my mum, then I will continue to be fine whilst living on my own.
I remember that I want for nothing and therefore temptation has no power over me. That said, I’d rather be safe than sorry, so I have put all my dads alcohol (of which there is a lot lol) in the cupboards. Out of sight, out of mind and that works for me 🙂
I continue to be mindful and I continue to practice meditation.
Meditation is so incredibly powerful. I find that after just 20 minutes I am clarity once more.
One thing that has got me a little perplexed just before I got into bed this evening, was a friend request from an old partner on social media. I have been thinking about writing to her for the last week or so and even mentioned her and my intention to my mum about 4 days ago.
I guess this means my intention was correct. After all, there are no coincidences, only clues, right 😉
Be well. x