Everyday you come to my bar and tell me about your boring, shitty job serving at your fancy version of Applebee's. I smile and nod, you always say please and thanks. Alas, ne'er do I nor the other bartenders see a tip. Ever. You work a block down the street, know my name, work in the same industry, and see me everyday. I'm not singling anyone out either, it's your whole brigade of retards that stiffs us but expects a double for the price of a single. I'm speaking on behalf of all bar staff in the fucking universe, FUCK YOU. If you expect us to listen to your stupid goddamn stories about your horrible lives you better give us a dollar per drink, even if you're the the Croatian Bon Jovi.
Don't Bro Me if You Don't Know Me
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.