Why do we stay in marriages or relationships after repeated instances of abuse or disinterest from our lover? This individual is supposed to honor you, love and cherish you, respect your values and opinions, comfort you when you’re upset, or tired of the kids, or angry with something your mother said, or pissed that you don’t have enough money to do something that you really, really want to do, or annoyed that they didn’t comment on the new “thing” that you did/bought/tried to make yourself look/feel more attractive for them. You know, cause you feel them slipping.
It starts out so quiet and subtle, barely perceptible, but there just the same.
They’re not wrapping their arms around you and whispering tenderly in your ear while you’re cooking anymore, or running a nice bubble bath for you when you
walk crawl through the door after a particularly heinous day at work, like they used to. You’ve noticed them spending more time watching t.v. in the next room or downstairs, or cooking meals and eating without you. Huh? You have to walk into the kitchen and realize that they’ve cooked, without even saying, “Food’s ready.” Or, “Are you ready to eat?”
Why do we stay? Is fear of being alone more important than our sense of self-worth? Is fear of what others will think about our failing/failed relationship more important than our sense of pride? Are we still using “the kids” and “keeping the family together” as a crutch, instead of the premise that being whole and healthy is far better for our family, even if we are apart?
At some point, you have to realize that the quality of your life does not depend on another individual making you happy. Figuring out what your version of happiness is and then pursuing it—-is solely up to you. Life is entirely too fleeting and fragile to waste time being unhappy or feeling unfulfilled.
When we free ourselves from stagnant thinking and being, we allow positive energy to enter our ‘space’ and open the door to new possibilities, relationships, and life experiences. Choose to live unburdened. Your future self is depending on it.
Source: Featured Photo Credit- fuu-j on Unsplash