Accepting His Marriage Proposal
Not all marriage proposals are meant to be accepted, even if you are eager to get married. If you truly know what you want, it is important to decline a marriage proposal if necessary.
Rejecting your fiancee’s proposal for marriage isn’t an act of wickedness, pride or an insult but the best way to find happiness in your marriage for a lifetime. If you aren’t totally certain you do not have to accept his proposer.
Many people failed in marriage because they accepted a proposal they should have declined, but now suffered both heartbreak and physical damage, such as battering, still find it hard to pull out of their relationship.
In a relationship, you need to be smart when making decisions, you do not have to let people make decisions for you, or do your partner have to help you make decisions, neither should you let your emotion take over your reasoning, because it most times balls down to their own favour not yours.
Having a partner who can not make decisions for himself is not worth a man. You should accept his hand in marriage. Your decision has to be made by you , not forcing each other to agree on terms, marriage should not be decided by choice but on certainty and confirmation with total confidence and agreement between partners.
Why It Is Important To Decline His Proposal
Declining your spouse proposer could look bad, it could hurt and be heart breaking, but is it not better to be heart broken when things can still be fixed than when it can’t?
It is best to be patient and understand why marriage isn’t a rush, a push, a choice or decision made by others in your favour. It is more of how prepared, certainty, your own willingness, understanding about marriage, and full awareness of how much you can handle marriage issues.
Don’t be fooled, there is nothing like perfect relationship, spouse, marriage or home, every relationship journey right from dating, courting, and marriage are scaled, weigh on balance and not perfection.
Declining a proposal could be like a waste of time. Yet you need to consider which would be preferred; a time consuming wait for the right time, the perfect time to say yes to a proposal or a rush into disaster.
Consider Proposal Factors
You might want to consider so many factors like age, pressure and more, the truth remains that all those things do not really matter if you choose wisely and rightly.
I have seen so many marriages collapse for so many factors, such as promises, partners living a fake lifestyle, fake impressions and attraction just to get the attention of their spouse while in courtship.
Afterwards, marriage issues gradually start to surface as the wife keeps complaining bitterly that this wasn’t what she was expecting in marriage. It is always a different story when women fall for this trick.
Just as women are corny, men are desperate when they need something, especially when they want a woman, (most times a good woman while having bad intentions) men can fake everything to get what they want, do everything to get what they admire even if it will cost them their lives.
You might need to ask yourself, is it not worth it to spend a few years waiting for the right time or spend a lifetime with a partner you can not relate with or be proud of.
Why She Feels Saying Yes And Accepting a Man’s Proposer Is The Right Choice
We shall pick and discuss every possible thing that makes a woman feel she is ready for marriage and why she feels saying YES and accepting a man’s proposer is the right choice.
1. Age barrier
Most ladies always think they are of age, with the mindset that the older they get the less chance of marriage, this makes many think marriage is the next thing in life. If this is a major reason for you to settle down with a man, a lady with this mindset could end up regretting accepting a man’s proposer because that is not a good criteria to start up marriage. You need to give it time, nothing good comes that easy and because your friends, siblings and juniors are getting married does not mean that is the right time for you. However there are some major factors that could stops a lady from getting married in her early 30’s which she might not be aware of.
2. No purpose
So many ladies want to get married because they find it hard to find a purpose for themselves. Trying many things but finding those things not working for you does not mean you should give up on yourself and then settle down for less. No good man will want to get married to a liability, a woman without purpose or future. Even if he marries out of love, sooner that gap will show up and then issues may start to surface in marriage.
3. You are been pushed
The society we find ourselves in is most times very misleading, especially in terms of relationship and marriage. People will push you and encourage you to do things they can not do to themselves. They will tell you all sorts of myths and beliefs, they will tell you God will provide stories, you just need to give it a try and everything will work out well. All are lies because no God will come from heaven to help you when you fail to apply common sense, it might even be an insult they will pass to you just to frustrate you to get married. This is how people push too many fruitless marriages, reality is that these people will push you, will even support, encourage and could be your backbone to do rubbish till you make the wrong choice after that you are left to carry your cross.
4. Life achievement
Weeding is not a life achievement, wedding is just a ceremony, it has nothing to do with how fruitful your marriage will be. Your overall achievement in marriage is the greatest good you can ever achieve in marriage. keeping your marriage alive and healthy till the end makes it an institution you should never rush into.
5. Wedding isn’t a competition
Marriage isn’t a competition nor a wedding is a showoff of how successful you are or what achievement you have made, it is just a step forward in life, if you accept a man’s proposal just because you want to impress, showoff to friends or compete with others then you have missed it. Take your time and find something better as a showoff. – Maybe you should do more of charity instead.
6. You aren’t experienced enough
Experience is always the best teacher in everything in life. Gaining experience does not have much to do with a person’s age but how much you explore and expose you have gained from people married. Most ladies aren’t experienced enough yet they think they are ready for marriage because they have learnt some certain things. Though we keep learning everyday but gaining better experience before accepting a man’s proposal do much good in marriage. A lady who can not easily solve issues with her parent, siblings, friends or at workplace, will in some ways find it hard to manage her marriage.
7. You are confused
At a stage in life, you will always think you are matured enough to settle down and have a family, this mostly happens when you either graduate from the university, have a hand job or at least at age 25, at this point you start thinking of marriage. This age is good to get marriage as people who are younger get married before such age, but if you want to have a good relationship in marriage, you must think of what you have achieved rather than letting your instinct take control over you.
8. Uncontrollably central passion
You always feel you are going the right direction, you are trying to feel certain and confident but deep inside of you, your passion and desire are centralized basically for your own interest and not otherwise.
It is a good thing to get married, in fact marriage is one of the greatest achievement in life, but you need to calm yourself down, ask yourself if you are truly making the right decision or just anxious to get married because marriage is a good thing, without considering if you are capable to withstand the challenges in marriage. Anxiety in relationship has distract, led so many marriages in complete destruction
10. Fear to lose partner
Are you in a position where you find it hard to find a good partner, or you find it difficult to find a stable partner, or for other reasons you do not want to let go of the one you have, thinking he is the best person for you. If a lady settles down with a person for these reasons and no other reasons she might end up losing all and her marriage, while she starts all over again. You should not accept a man’s proposer because you do not want to lose him, if he does not meet your criteria, you should learn to let go, do not think you can change people especially when it comes to marriage.
11. Home threats
Are your parents telling you to find a husband and start up a family, did they say you are too old to still be in your house, have they told you that your younger ones are getting married while you still sit at home eating your mama’s food? All this frustration and threats from home that you should always see as a challenge that will come and come to an end some day. Because you face these threats does not mean you should fall for them by accepting a man’s proposal without being certain. Marriage is not something you should engage yourself in by threat but rather a freewill and choice, don’t make the mistake to fall for threat.
12. Family pressure
When you are threatened, pressure will eventually start pulling you down, it will make you confused and at the end follow what people say rather than waiting to make the right choice when a man brings your hand in marriage. You do not have to fall for such pressure, if you do not know how to go about it, find time away from home and have relief. The truth is, at the end after they might have forced and pressured you to do what you do not want, after you start facing the unexpected challenges in marriage, you will be left alone, you will be the only one to face it.
At some point while growing up to be the kind of woman you want to be, the need for comparizim will be part of your social and private life. People will want to compare you with other peeps of your age, class and race, even you will do the same, as you try to compare yourself with others. Just because someone is married before you does not mean you should accept any man’s proposal without good verification. Marriage works for some people does not mean that is how it works, people’s marriages are doing better does not mean you can also do much better without solid evaluation. You do not have to compare yourself with others.
14. False financial standard
Because you see your man is working and making some money does not mean that you should accept his proposal, when you are not confident enough about the financial capability of your spouse. Or when you see that your salary and his can not feed you and your unborn child comfortably, then you should rather work harder and make a strong and stable income source before thinking of accepting a man’s proposer. Do not depend on one specific source of income, try and create another, make sure you also have something meaningful doing as a woman to support your man so you will not become a liability.
15. You feel comfortable
It is natural to feel comfortable with someone you love while in courtship, this is because you haven’t spent time with each other as couples or family. You may think that living a couples life before marriage is the same as being husband and wife but that is not true.
The fact is that you can never be well exposed to each other in courtship, either or both of you will have a secret you will in some ways hide or keep away from each other. This is still courtship, while courting, a man will always pretend to be who is not just to find all means to get married to you if he love you and finds good qualities of a good woman in you, he will go as far has promising you heavens and will always want to satisfy you. These are just formalities to get a woman interested, it is until you get married he feels relaxed then his true self starts surfacing.
The same also applies to a woman, when they want to be favoured in the eye of a man, they do anything to please him while trying to make courtship lead to marriage, but after marriage they start behaving strangely bringing up some surprising and strange attitude.
16. Sexual attraction
So many ladies and men practices sex before marriage which is unhealthy to a good relationship. However, premarital sex as been a norms in the world as we speak, in fact most lovers can not do without it, some believes sex before marriage shield relationship.
What most people do not know about premarital sex is that the moment you practise it, the more you will want to get more and addicted you become.
Addition to premarital sex on the other hand can make you feel you have the best person who is good on bed is good for you as a husband while other things follow. Marriage shouldn’t be founded and grounded on sex, in fact when you get to that stage you will get tired of it. It best to look for other criterion, not sex alone.
17. Physical attraction
I have seen women say they are satisfied with a man that has the right body structure, like the six packs, height, size, cuteness while other things like character, behaviour and attitude are mostly ignored. When physical appearance becomes a woman’s first priority in man to marry then she has missed it all. It does not take time to loss body form, moreover we do not grow younger, we grow older and with time our body shrinks and fade off. You falling for his body structure or statue will never help you in a successful and healthy marriage.
Some ladies do not want to work but always want to get rich by getting money for men, while others are just too lazy at their home work, they just want to settle down, get married, so that they can have people around them to get the work done, like employing a maid. The truth is that you can not eat your cake and still have it. Every hidden character in a man or woman in courtship will be exposed overtime in marriage, this can cause a great issue in marriage that may lead to many more issues. It is important to keep working on yourself in terms of laziness before marriage and after marriage so you can have a healthy relationship.
If you have the mindset that a man will carry all your responsibilities when you get married then you might end up shooting yourself by the leg, as men of this generation are not interested in marrying a liability. A woman who can not carry responsibilities on her own can not make a successful marriage. You should be able to do things on your own, be able to surprise your man and learn not to be totally dependent on a man before you get things done.
20. Other challenges
There might be some hidden challenges that you may find hard to overcome as a woman, hoping that if you get married most of it would be solved. Marriage is not a solving problem institute, marriage itself is a problem on its own, it is better to solve as many challenge in courtship before engaging in marriage.
21. Health challenges
Among other challenges, health challenges are one of the major reasons why women do not have the choice to accept a man proposer without consideration. A person with health issues can always become a better person without rushing into marriage. Life is always meaningful for someone who understands how things works, getting married for the purpose of health issues can be disastrous especially when accepting a man’s proposal who does not understand your health condition, or does not love you unconditionally.
22. No choice
Even humans are left with a choice, it is just that those choices left with could be terrifying and hard to accept. No matter what the condition could be, you are always left with a choice. Accepting a man’s proposal because you have no choice could ruin your entire life not just your marriage.
23. You are lost in love
Yes, it is natural to feel you are in love with your man, but how much is your emotion taking over your reasoning. The inability to control one’s emotion can easily lead to total destruction. You may be in love while the other person does not feel the same way.
One thing you should never do is to make it look like you are forcing or pressuring a man to propose to you, another thing to take note and never fall for is to accept a man’s proposal because he feels he needs to settle down. The agreement of getting married should be between the man and the woman, after coming into agreement, he can then propose and you accept.