Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. On this celebratory day off we make traditional food and gather with people who are important to us. We reflect on what we are grateful for, what has brought the most meaning to our lives, what makes us happy. Today, our definition of love and who makes our lives full, rich and purposeful are called to mind.
This Thanksgiving, our family is reflecting back on our most challenging year as Mark awaits a heart transplant. His fragile heart is sustained by an impeller pump that takes on the infinite duty of distributing his blood around to his vessels and organs. He has no heart beat but the whirl of a machine instead keeping him alive as we wait and desperately hope. Life had never been so fleeting and precious.
What we celebrate today on Thanksgiving has transformed a dark, difficult time into a season of great blessing. At every Mass as part of the liturgy, said everyday of the year, our Priests remind us that 'we do well always and everywhere to give you thanks'. We've heard it countless times but this year, as Mark has fought to remain with us, giving thanks has become a lifeline. Deeply impacted by the research of Dr. Robert Emmons and his book Gratitude Works, we set out on a journey to be intentional about capturing the good in each day, despite enduring the precariousness of Mark's health in this marathon journey. Our gratitude practice became the shield that protected us daily from anxiety and despair. It was the sword that beat back fear and kept my mind in today rather than thoughts of a black, shadowy future where I'm a widow and single mom. Gratitude brought me back to the reality of Mark still here - what a relief to steer my mind back to the present. Pausing, taking in the now, wanting more of what is right here, right now - that is gratitude...lifesaving, life-giving gratitude.