On Monday 11th October, I had the weirdest gig I’ve done for a long time.
I was looking forward to supporting Isy Suttie (of Peep Show fame) at the Free Beer Show in Oxford, having gigged with Reg D. Hunter and Carl Donnelly there in the past. It’s a lovely gig, and MCing was Matt Richardson – both a lovely friend and a great comic – starting his MCing residency of the night, and making his 4th appearance to my 3rd. The last time I performed at the FBS (now technically called Comedy at the Cellar) was in January, and my performance (as with many at that time) wasn’t great, with around half the crowd liking it, and half the crowd hating it; so I was looking forward to doing the opening spot again after my experiences in Edinburgh, and with better jokes.
Matt warmed up the audience nicely, although they did seem a bit quiet for the whole evening (at no point did they applaud anything mid-set for both myself, Matt and Isy…I suppose that happens sometimes), and announced my name (I wasn’t listed on the posters beforehand), only for me behind the curtain, him on stage and everyone else in the audience to hear 3 people shout, “Oh my God!”.
Initially, I just imagined it was 3 of my most ardent fans (yep) getting excited, but as Matt queried the noise, it turned out to be something wholly unexpected.
Accompanied by her 2 best friends, Jenny had turned up at the show with no idea that I was performing, just as I had no idea she would be there. I chuckled to myself as I crouched behind the curtain, and began to formulate twists and spins on my jokes in order to involve Jenny, and therefore get bigger laughs – a fair bit of my material mentions an imaginary ex-girlfriend, so that was easy enough, but what I needed was a cracking opening to break the tension caused by the elephant (she’s not fat) in the room. As I thought through possible lines, I could hear Matt having fun with it, referencing STIs and other lovely things, asking when we broke up (Jenny replied ‘A Year ago’ – actually it was 2 and a bit) whipping the room up into a mild frenzy, before bringing me on to some lovely applause, and a sea of 100~ faces all waiting for what I was going to say.
I approached the mic stand, stood still, breathed heavily, and with a pained expression on my face, dead-panned this:
“They say that to become a comedian…you require a negative emotional trigger…I began comedy…one year ago.“
Laughter filled every pause, and the audience guffawed heartily at the end of it – the tension had dissipated.
Throughout my set, I referenced Jenny, each time drawing a good laugh, while never crossing over into anything offensive (it was an amicable split, and I’m not the kind of comic who tears into people for no reason, not least someone I spent 2 years with). I had a great time on the stage, really enjoying a crowd who appreciated some intelligent lines, and let me get away with the cheesier puns. If I’m honest, I imagine most of them thought Jenny was a plant, or that she knew I was on, and that it was all a big comedy plot, but both of us had genuinely no idea – although I may employ someone to sit in all my gigs and be my ‘ex’ considering how well it went.
Overall, it was a great gig, and I really had fun with it, as did Matt, and Isy was as brilliant as I’d expected. Then, today, reading The Oxford Student (our local free paper, along with the Cherwell) I found that they’ve started reviewing comedy, and there, right in front of me, was a review of the gig, by a certain ‘Norman D.Plume’ (how witty!). It’s lovely to have a reminder of what was such a unique occasion, and I’m glad that I found it – I’ll transcribe the first half of the review that’s relevant to me, because I’m egotistical and narcissistic.
Comedy Review (Published in The Oxford Student, 14th October 2010)
Free Beer Show – Isy Suttie + Chris Turner + Matt Richardson (Monday 11th October)
There’s comedy gold, and there’s the accidental appearance of the opening act’s ex-girlfriend in the audience. Even as ‘Jenny’ insists that she did not know Chris Turner was supporting Isy Suttie, quick-witted compére Matt Richardson wickedly makes much of it. (“If you could introduce Chris by giving him a clap…or maybe you already gave him it?”).
Turner himself has a couple of minutes backstage to marvel at this improbable piece of fortune, and delivers with aplomb. One wonders perhaps whether his pun-laden set would sparkle quite so well without the faux-romantic troubles but tonight it doesn’t matter.
When a pun succeeds he has the whole room behind him, and a fail [sic] is merely Turner charismatically delighting in the groans that a particularly pungent (geddit?) example elicits.
So, that’s that. A strange gig, but one that was great fun.