Healing Grief and Loss
Question from a reader:
Greif and loss are the most difficult emotions to deal with, in my opinion. We all grieve differently and there is no right or wrong way. There is no timeline on grief and loss.
“My question is, I have miscarried three babies years ago & don’t know how to heal my heart regarding this great loss?”
Loss in particular centers around the idea that you can never get back what you have lost. That you will never have the experiences you could have had, that you will never feel what you could have felt. It’s a loss of potential, in a way, and a loss of hope.
These are, of course, very limiting beliefs, and they are beliefs that we impose on ourselves, because they are thoughts.
After experiencing a great sense of loss, I was able to finally move forward after deciding that it didn’t mean I would never have or experience those things. I decided that I would move forward and that I would work toward manifesting the outcome that I desired in one form or another, and it brought back a sense of hope. The change, for me, was almost instant.
It can be different when it comes to death. There’s a sort of finality to that which is difficult to overcome. Sometimes acceptance is the only way to move forward. With miscarriages, it’s a bit of a mix of both – the finality of death, but also the loss of potential. However, just because you’ve miscarried doesn’t mean that you can’t or won’t ever experience being a mother. It just means that it may come in a different form that you initially expected – through adoption or foster care, or some other non-traditional form.
The physical act of giving birth isn’t what makes someone a mother. It’s the love they feel in relation to the other person. That person doesn’t even have to be a child. However briefly, you got to experience that feeling, so the experience isn’t totally lost.
If motherhood is what you want, there’s no reason to stop trying. There’s no reason to quit. Just be open to accepting the experience, however it may manifest for you.