So, last night I saw The Dark Knight Rises.
Look, the movie is good, but it’s no The Dark Knight.
The Dark Knight has the perfect mix of emotional power, smarts and chemistry. The Dark Knight Rises movie feels like a weaker rehashing of the first two Nolan movies combined.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s still good. Nolan could crap on a piece of paper and it would have more character and depth than the majority of films Hollywood is making these days.
One of my small disappointments with the film is Anne Hathaway as Catwoman. That poor girl had some pretty big stilettos to fill and I don’t think she has what it takes to be the fragile, beautiful Selina Kyle, yet.
Anna Hathaway is adorable. ADORABLE. Not sexy or vixeny or sireny. Watching her flirty talk with Batman is like uncomfortably watching your little sister unsuccessfully hit on a dude at the bar. It doesn’t work. There is hotter chemistry between Christian Bale and Joseph Gordon Levitt than Bale and Hathaway.
Having been partial to the Burton/Keaton Batmans, it was difficult for me to warm up to the Nolan/Bale Batmans, but due to excellent writing and performances, The Dark Knight Trilogy won me over. Even putting aside my MASSIVE GIRL BONER for Michelle Pfieffer, I can confidently say Hathaway just doesn’t have what it takes. Not that she didn’t try.
Hathaway falls in the “too young to seem confidently sexy” category that many young starlets suffer from. They just don’t have the comfort in their own skins that comes across as subliminally attractive. Scarlett Johansson suffers from this big time. To me she acts and sounds like a little girl trapped in a Marilyn Monroe body. She doesn’t own it yet. One day she will, but not yet. There is an allure that only comes with age. Thought I appreciate Nolan’s casting of a more “everyday-looking woman” in the role of Catwoman, the character needs to be played by someone older, someone with years of experience in their face and in their voice.
Truthfully, I kept forgetting that Catwoman was even in the movie, which is sad, because CATWOMAN IS THE SEXYSHIZNITZ.
I’ve suffered from penis envy most of my life. I typically want to be middle-aged Jewish dudes, but Catwoman left a mark on me that has never been forgotten.
Michelle Pfeiffer’s Catwoman particularly made every woman bow their head in shame for not coming close in womanliness.
Look at this woman! LOOK AT HER! LOOK HOW SEXY SHE IS!