Enjoy our pointless little one-shot! We figured we'd take a short one-day break from -As I See It- to submit this Naruto Primerish one-shot. Love it as much as we love you and Merry Almost Christmas!
After many months of intense training, Kakashi, Asuma, Gai and Kurenai all came to the conclusion that their students were working themselves silly and they needed a vacation. If one worked a little TOO hard than one might damage oneself and it would end up doing more hurt than help!
So the teachers caught their students by surprise early in the morning and threw them on a bus while they were still half asleep. When they came around to being combobulated, they realized that there was no turning back now.
Upon arriving at their destination, the eleven genin and Shikamaru came to find that their teachers had sent them to a little resort hotel in the mountains. But what made this hotel special? The HOTSPRINGS!
So, after plunking their stuff down in their rooms, everyone went outside to where the hot springs were just WAITING to be explored!
"Okay, this is the boy's side and the girl's side is over there!" said Ino as she looked at a little plan of the hot spring place. There was a big wall split down the middle.
"Let's all bathe TOGETHER!" exclaimed Naruto, but he was promptly attacked by all the girls who didn't think that that was an appropriate comment.
With that, the girls frolicked off to the other side and left the men with a dispute. They all stared at each other for a few minutes looking slightly uncomfortable.
"Well, we're not getting any younger!" Kiba announced out of nowhere as he stripped down to nothing and leapt into the hot spring as if he did that sort of thing every day. Which he probably did. "Wow! The water feels so good! I feel so relaxed!"
"Well I'm not going to let Kiba have all the fun!" said Naruto as he kicked off all his clothes as well and got in the water.
"Wait for me!!" Lee yelled as he didn't even bother TAKING off his clothes, he just ripped them all off his body and ran in as if it was a matter of life and death.
Everyone else was a little more hesitant about exposing themselves where the sun should not shine.
"Where is the changing room?" Neji said finally.
"I didn't see one." Said Shikamaru. "I looked around for one."
"Well, I put my bathing suit on at home." Said Chouji as he took his shirt off to reveal his horrible one-piece candy-cane man's bathing suit.
"I didn't even think to bring my bathing suit." Said Sasuke.
Chouji shrugged and got in the water too. This left Neji, Shikamaru, Sasuke and Shino to figure out what exactly to do next.
Meanwhile, on the other side, the girls were all in the water. It had occurred to them that they could use towels so they were, even though some of them were shyer than the others. Like Hinata.
"Wow, this really is relaxing!" said Tenten. "It was nice of our teachers to send us here!"
"I can hear the boys on the other side." Said Sakura, sounding half annoyed and half longing.
"I wonder if they're wearing towels." Said Ino.
They all looked at each other and then laughed nervously.
"I'm sure they are." Said Hinata hesitantly, blushing.
"Wouldn't it be funny if they weren't?" said Sakura.
"Sasuke strutting around without a towel on…" Ino said slowly, envisioning the picture in her mind.
"You're so dirty!!" yelled Sakura as if she wasn't doing the same thing.
"There's probably nothing exciting going on over there at all!" announced Tenten.
"Except for eight naked guys." Ino pointed out. "One of them being Sasuke."
The four of them sat in the water in complete silence.
"It's ONLY eight naked guys." Sakura assured herself.
"Yeah." Said Tenten. "How exciting could THAT be?"
"Not very…" Hinata said.
Ino cleared her throat. "Hey um…" she started.
"Noo…" said Sakura.
"Oh right, of course!" laughed Ino.
They all looked at each other.
"I DARE one of you to." said Tenten since she's thirteen instead of twelve and can't possibly control her girlish hormones.
"No WAY!" said the other three but they were all thinking the same thing.
On the other side where the boys were, it wasn't quite as exciting as one might have thought.
The guys had all eventually gotten into the water except for Neji who was still braiding his hair so he could put it up so it wouldn't get wet. When he was finished, he hid behind a rock, got undressed, wrapped a towel around his man parts andhead and then got in.
"That took long enough." Said Lee.
"Shut up." Said Neji.
"Why are you so obsessive about your hair?" asked Naruto.
"I just washed it this morning." Said Neji as if that were a big deal. "I don't want it to get tangled."
"I haven't washed my hair for a week." Said Naruto.
"Me neither!" said Kiba.
"I wash mine every day to keep this healthy shine!!" said Lee. "But its just water. It's not like I'm putting a towel on it like Neji is."
"Well—" started Neji but then he was suddenly distracted by Shikamaru who was sitting on the other side of the hot spring with his hair down. Of course, it was quite obvious that Neji was just STARING at him, so Shikamaru wasn't going to let this to continue to fly.
"WHAT?" Shikamaru said.
"Oh." Said Neji. "It's just you. I thought you were one of the girls but I couldn't figure out which one."
Shikamaru blinked. "What?" he repeated.
"You look like a woman with your hair down and earrings in and stuff." Neji said.
"I'm not the one with the towel wrapped around my head." Said Shikamaru with a glare. But Neji glared right back.
"Hey, where's Shino?" said Kiba randomly. That's when he spotted Shino standing on the edge of the hot spring fully clothed. "Shino, how did I know you weren't going to come in?"
"Because I don't do water?" Shino suggested.
"That was probably it." Kiba said with a nod. "You're such a stick in the mud, Shino."
"Thanks." Said Shino.
"I hope the girls aren't spying on us." Said Chouji.
Everyone turned around and looked at him.
"What?" Chouji said innocently.
"Why would you say something like that?" said Sasuke.
Chouji shrugged. "I don't know." He said. "It's just that we're in a hot spring so the only natural thing to do would be to spy on the group of people who the opposite gender as you, right? I mean… WE could be spying too now, right?"
"I suppose…" said Sasuke in return. He knew he would never spy on girls because he's way above that, but now he was suddenly paranoid that girls were spying on him because… well… that would be perfectly normal and not out of the ordinaryin his life.
"I HOPE the girls are spying on us!" said Naruto loudly.
"Why?" said Kiba.
"BECAUSE!" said Naruto. "Just… BECAUSE!"
"Why?" Kiba repeated.
"If they're spying on us, would it be okay for us to spy on them?" Lee asked.
"No that would NOT be okay!" said Kiba. "They'd get mad at us!!"
"But if they did it first then it's only fair!" Lee said.
"See what you've started, Chouji?" Shikamaru sighed.
"I didn't mean to…" Chouji said apologetically.
"Well how do we know they're even spying on us?" said Kiba.
"I know!" said Lee. "Neji, you use your Byakugan to see if they're spying on us! And if they are then we can spy on them!"
Neji looked offended. "No." he said plainly. "And if you ask again then I will kill you."
"Aw…" said Lee sadly. "Don't you think that's a little harsh?"
"No…no I don't." Neji said.
"You can't pretend as though the idea hadn't crossed your mind or that you haven't already done it." said Naruto. "I wish I had the Byakugan. I bet you already have done it."
"I have not." Neji said.
"Well then you are so NOT a man and might as well go over to the girls side." Said Naruto.
Neji glared at Naruto. That's all he did. Just glared.
Of course, the guys weren't being very quiet about this spying conversation so the girls had overheard bits and pieces of it.
"See?" Ino whispered to the other three. "They're planning on spying on us! So that means it's okay to spy on them!"
"No…we shouldn't!" Hinata said, turning bright red.
"They'll never know!" Tenten insisted.
"Yeah, it'll just be a quick look!" said Sakura as she wrapped her towel around her tighter and got out of the water.
"Hey, wait for me!" Ino said anxiously as she climbed out of the water and followed after Sakura. Tenten followed quickly after them and, just when they were about to get to a spot where they could see the boys up close and personal in the form the Lord had intended, Hinata let out a small noise to get their attention.
"I don't know if we should do this…" she said quietly.
"Hinata… they'll never know!" Tenten assured her.
"But… I'LL know…" Hinata said, sounding very upset.
"Hinata, there's no reason to get upset!" said Sakura as she went over back to the water and gestured for Ino and Tenten to come over as well. The other two looked disappointed as they trudged back over.
"It's all right!" said Hinata. "I think I'm just going to get out for a little while! The heat is getting to me I guess…"
"Well… okay, Hinata…" said Ino as Hinata got out and went back to the room.
The three girls looked at each other.
"That's too bad." Said Sakura finally.
No sooner had Sakura finished saying those three words, but the girls were up again back towards where they could see the boys.
"I knew you would do it!" came the voice of Hinata. They turned back around to see that Hinata hadn't REALLY left.
"Hinata, stop pretending as though you don't want to and come on!" said Tenten.
Hinata battled internally but she suddenly found herself standing with the other three girls, getting ready to poke her head out and get a peek of her own.
What they saw was the back of seven heads, all sitting there silently for the most part, not doing anything exciting OR showing anything exciting. After staring for a minute or so, the girls finally went back to their side, feeling rather defeated.
Unfortunately, the moment they did so, Kiba grabbed a towel spun it around and then whipped it at Naruto.
"HEY!" yelled Naruto as he grabbed his rear and ran around while yelling in pain. Kiba only laughed at his expense.
"Will you two shut up?" said Sasuke with a 'I'm WAY too cool for you' sigh.
"Did you see what he did to me?!" demanded Naruto.
No one really cared since… he's Naruto. And… well… they don't like Naruto.
So Kiba sat down, feeling WAY too satisfied with himself. Naruto moved to the other side of the spring and glared at Kiba from his new protective spot where no one could harm him.
"Shino, if YOU had been sitting there instead of Naruto then I would have whipped you instead." Kiba declared.
"Too bad for me." Said Shino.
"Yeah." agreed Kiba.
"This isn't as relaxing as it should be." Said Shikamaru. "There should be a separate spring for people who want to relax as opposed to people who want to whip other people with towels."
"Shikamaru, YOU'RE next!" Kiba announced as he started rolling up another towel.
"If you come near me with that towel then I will have to do something drastic." Shikamaru threatened.
"I just can't picture you doing something drastic!" Kiba said.
Shikamaru rolled his eyes and was a little disappointed that Kiba had caught him in his bluff. "In that case, I'm going to leave." He decided, standing up and making his way out of the water.
"Why?" Kiba asked, rolling his towel tighter.
Shikamaru gave Kiba a look and grabbed all of his clothes. "I'm going back to the room."
"See you later, Shikamaru!" said Chouji. Then he looked around and thought about it for a second. "Actually, I think I'm going to go back to the room too! I wouldn't want to stay in TOO long and get pruney, you know!"
With that, he got out as well.
The girls were eavesdropping very carefully.
"I think a few of them just left." Said Sakura.
"That means they're probably getting out of the water… without any clothes on!!" Ino said as the four of them sprung up and ran over to get a look only to see Chouji in his man's bathing suit and Shikamaru with a towel wrapped around his waist.
"Ino, you should try possessing Chouji and get him to rip Shikamaru's towel off." Tenten whispered.
"Why would I want to see Shikamaru naked?" Ino said with an angry scowl.
"You KNOW you do." Said Sakura.
"No, YOU do." Said Ino.
"I mean, I can't blame you for not wanting to see CHOUJI naked but this is our chance to see our first naked guy." Said Tenten.
"I don't want my first naked guy to be Shikamaru." Ino said.
"Then don't look!" urged Sakura.
"If I didn't know better, Sakura, I'd say that YOU wanted to see Shikamaru naked." Said Ino.
"I just want to see SOMEONE naked!" said Sakura. "And he's just standing there WAITING for someone to pull his towel off and Chouji is in the perfect spot but we KNOW he's not going to do that unless he has a little help!"
"No!" said Ino. "I refuse!"
"Just think!" said Tenten. "While you're over there, you might even catch a glimpse of Sasuke!"
Ino was just about to retort but then she stopped. "Well…" she began.
"Come on, come on!" begged Tenten and Sakura. Hinata had run away, probably about to start crying, and hid in her room.
"Fine, fine!" said Ino. "But I'm NOT doing this so I can look at Shikamaru! I'm only doing it so I can potentially see Sasuke!"
"Just go before he leaves!" urged Sakura.
Shikamaru was entirely unsuspecting. This whole time he had been looking for one of his elusive shoes and he couldn't possibly find it and, just as he spotted it, Chouji suddenly ran over to him and whipped the towel off from around his waist.
Shikamaru only stood there for a moment and stared at Chouji with a confused AND betrayed expression on his face. Luckily for him, he had been holding a bunch of clothes right where it was necessary so he was safe for now, but it still troubled him that he had just been violated by someone he THOUGHT was his friend.
"Well…that was troublesome." He said as he turned around and put his undies and pants on. "I'm going back to my room. Don't follow me, Chouji. I think we'd both be more comfortable if you stayed here."
With that, Shikamaru was gone.
"That was kind of… sketchy…" Lee whispered to Neji.
Chouji, who was obviously being possessed by Ino, frolicked back over to the water. "I think I'll stay here a little longer!" he declared.
Everyone edged away from him.
"I've got nothing to worry about because I'm not even WEARING a towel!" said Kiba.
"You're not?!" Chouji gaped.
"No." said Kiba. "Did you completely miss it when I took off all my clothes and jumped into the water without putting a towel on with absolutely no concern for what people thought about me or being self conscious about my body?"
"I'm not wearing a towel either!" said Lee.
"I have NOTHING to be ashamed of!" Naruto said as he stood up and proudly showed himself to the world. This was, of course, not something Ino/Chouji really wanted to see so he spun around and tried not to look just as Kiba leapt up and whipped Naruto in the behind once again. "KIBA!! STOP THAT!!!"
"You were asking for that one!!" Kiba laughed heartily.
Chouji/Ino looked at Sasuke who was only sitting there minding his own business.
"Are you wearing a towel, Sasuke?" he asked.
Sasuke's mouth opened as if he was GOING to say something, but it just appeared as though he had lost all his strength to speak. "I don't even know what to say to that." He said, standing up to reveal that he WAS wearing a towel. "I'm going back to the room."
"Rip it off, rip it off!" Sakura and Tenten chanted quietly as they watched Sasuke make his way out of the water.
Of course, Sasuke was being rather heedful of Chouji advancing towards him. And he was a little freaked out about it too.
"Chouji, I will harm you if you get any closer to me." Sasuke said seriously as he grabbed his clothes and started back away from Chouji.
Ino wasn't really all that worried for whatever reason, but once she noticed the Sharingan suddenly appear in Sasuke's eyes, she decided that it was time to split from Chouji.
When she did, she and the other girls burst out into hysterical laughter as they jumped back into the water.
"You were this close!!" Sakura practically screamed.
"I know!" said Ino. "But I didn't want him to hurt me! Or Chouji, I guess."
"Did you see anything good?" Tenten asked eagerly.
"I saw Kiba and Naruto both very briefly." Ino reported.
"That's nothing to be proud of." Said Sakura with a sigh.
"Why don't you just go and possess Sasuke and have him strut his stuff instead of having someone harass him?" Tenten asked.
"I never thought of that!" said Ino.
The three of them ran back over to where they could see the guys only to discover that Sasuke had already departed.
"Guys, I seriously don't know what happened!" Chouji was saying to everyone that remained. But they were all very weary of Chouji now. Chouji knew when he wasn't wanted so he left.
"It's only Lee, Kiba, Naruto, Shino and Neji left." Said Sakura, looking slightly disappointed. "There's no point if Sasuke isn't there."
"Do it to Neji!" said Tenten. "We can ruin his reputation!"
"Tenten, yeah right." Said Ino. "You just want to see Neji naked."
"That's not true!" said Tenten.
"Don't be ashamed of it." said Sakura. "Ino wanted to see Shikamaru naked."
"No, YOU did!" Ino argued.
The four remaining in the spring were being rather not exciting.
It was around that time that Neji realized that he was hanging out with Kiba, Lee and Naruto and decided that he was way too far above all of that stuff so he, making sure his towel was securely in place, exited the spring. And, after double checking for any sign of Chouji, grabbed his clothes and left without even saying a word to the ones that remained.
"THAT NEJI!" laughed Lee as if that was any reason to laugh.
"So…" said Naruto. "I guess it's only us three!"
"And Shino." Said Kiba, pointing at Shino.
"Yeah…" said Naruto slowly.
"And don't forget that!" said Kiba as he whipped Naruto with his towel again.
"STOP DOING THAT!!!" Naruto yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Can't you take a joke, Naruto?" said Lee.
"Not when he's done it THREE TIMES!" Naruto yelled. "It's almost as sketchy as Chouji ripping Shikamaru's towel off!"
"I thought that him chasing after Sasuke was even more sketchy." Kiba said.
"Well…yeah…I guess that was more sketchy…" Naruto agreed.
"Because the ripping the towel off could have been a spur of the moment joke but the chasing after Sasuke was just downright weird." Lee said.
"I don't think it's sketchy to whip people with towels." Said Kiba. "I find it HILARIOUS!"
With that, he whipped Naruto again.
"STOP THAT!!!" Naruto HOLL-ered. "I'm leaving!!"
"Fine." Said Kiba. "Be that way."
Naruto stomped out of the spring, grabbed his clothes and left.
This left only Kiba and Lee. And Shino.
"Well, I can't have THAT!" said Kiba, rolling his towel up once again. "See you later, guys!!"
He then chased after Naruto with his towel high.
This only left Lee. And Shino.
"Well, Shino…" said Lee finally. "I find this to be ludicrously pointless. Since you might as well just be a tree, I'm going to go back to the room because I don't want to be here by myself!"
So Lee grabbed his clothes and left.
Shino sat there for a moment.
"Fine." He said, looking MILDLY offended.
The girls observed all of this and then looked at each other.
"Well, that was more of Kiba, Naruto and Lee than I ever wanted to see." Tenten said finally.
"Yeah…" said Sakura. "I guess if they're not going to come back then we can call it a night too."
"That was fun for a LITTLE while!" Ino said.
They turned around to see someone sitting in the pool. It was…
"Hey ladies!" said Naruto. "Come on in! The water's FINE!"
"NARUTO!!!" they screamed as they jumped behind rocks even though they were wearing towels and threw things at him.