Whoever said acquiring the traits of a good father was easy needs a good old board to the head. Children are like steroids on legs. They could blow up at any time with those bomb-like tantrums and are especially difficult to handle when feisty.
But, even with those pet peeves, children are a blessing. As a father or soon-to-be, the journey set before you can be beautiful and fulfilling. Developing the right attitude and traits, however, is the only way to obtain the fulfillment you seek.
These 11 traits of a good father will assist on your journey.
According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 6 percent of parents made reports that their child (ages 4-17) showed “difficulties with emotions, concentration, behavior, or getting along with other people”.
As a father, it’s not easy to deal with those dynamic emotions. Cultivating endurance is indispensable. To endure means to “suffer patiently”. You endure as a father knowing that one day your children will walk the path you set out for them.
Endurance also slows down anger. To cope with those explosive tantrums, late-night fiascos, murky clothing, stinky diapers, and a few others, you must cultivate endurance.
You’ve likely encountered those 21 questions before. After trying hard to supply the answers to questions such as “Why is the sky blue?” you’re likely hit with another question. Often, it’s another question that’s twice as difficult to answer.
It takes patience to deal with that kind of annoyance.
Children don’t mind getting on your nerves. In fact, you can learn a lesson (or 2) from them about endurance. They never let up when asking questions. But do they really want you to lose your screws as a father? No, they’re just curious and wish to learn. Be patient with them; you’ve once questioned your parent’s every motive when you were a mere boy.
Willingness to Provide Emotional Stability
Children tend to remember disheartening and troubling experiences. They’ll also remember your lack of love and emotional support. Many fathers are exceptional breadwinners, but they often lack what it takes to provide the emotional support their children need. In fact, some men believe expressing emotions is a sign of weakness.
Let your children know that they’re valuable to you. Tell them you love them throughout the day. Help them with homework, take an active interest in their life, and create an environment that fosters open communication, so they’ll feel comfortable sharing their concerns with you, even during adolescence.
Compassionate and Gentle
Society expects men to be courageous, strong, and valiant but that does not indicate a lack of compassion and gentleness. Your children are fragile. When they feel strongly about a matter you might consider it petty, even useless. Show compassion. Let them know that you’re interested in the things they love. Be soft and mild with them; be gentle.
Children cry at everything, so if you want to succeed as a great father, you need to learn to endure, while you exercise compassion and gentleness.
Availability and Approachableness
“I’m busy working so that my family can eat”. As true as that is, your children won’t understand. Physical food and provisions are important to sustain a family, but spending time with your children should also be prioritized. You need to find ways to balance the many hats you wear as a father.
If your child needs some ‘playtime’, commit a hundred percent. If you’re being hypocritical about it, they’ll sense it.
Could you cut back on TV time to share a minute with them? Could you resist going out with the guys for a night to watch their favorite TV show with them? What about school work? Are you making it your ‘business’ to know what’s happening? Make yourself available and create an atmosphere in which your kids can approach you.
Stop Annoying Your Children
As a father, you were once a child. Have you ever had those moments where you thought your father could cut you some slack? Your kids probably feel the same.
While it’s your privilege and obligation to ‘parent’ your kids, could you unintentionally annoy or irritate your children?
Do you fuss about non-essential matters because you’ve had a dreadful day at work? Do you talk badly about your kids, even in the presence of strangers?
Not only are you irritating them, but you could be guilty of stomping on their self-esteem.
Express Sincere Commendations and Appreciation
What was your relationship like with your father as a kid? Was it rocky or smooth-sailing? Regardless, you now have the opportunity to become ‘all things’ to your children.
When they excel at school, do you praise them? What happens if they should fail? Always turn an uncomfortable situation with your children into a situation to offer heartfelt commendations. Yes, they failed at Math, but could you help them to appreciate that they worked very hard, but could try harder next time?
Did they fail to wash the dishes last night? Instead of yelling or nitpicking, help them to understand why it’s important that everyone plays their role in getting chores done around the home.
Practice What You Preach
Children have their ‘hypocrite antennas’ in check. That thing is always working. If you’re trying to teach your kids the importance of honesty and morals but they find you in a compromising situation, you’ll lose them.
You’re giving them ammunition to rebel by not living up to the words you preach.
No father is perfect. If you mess up, express your sorrows and regrets to your kids. Lead by example; that’s the best care you can give to your children.
Another endearing trait of a good father is your ability and effort to get work done. You should be an example to your children, and that includes demonstrating your industriousness in caring for the family and tackling assignments around the home.
You should be handy. If a pipe needs fixing, you become a plumber. If a table needs adjusting, you become a carpenter. As a good father, you do what’s necessary to maintain a roof over your family’s head.
What’s the purpose of a father who doesn’t extend support to his family? That’s your God-given responsibility. Without being implored to do so, you should step up to the plate and support your family financially, psychologically, and emotionally.
Do you support what your children love to do, instead of pushing your own agenda? Children have their own path to trek. A father should recognize the importance of supporting the path their children wish to walk if it’s legitimate, honest, and morally acceptable.
Teaches His Children About God and Spiritual Matters
A father is the head of his household. That means it’s your primary and God-given responsibility to educate your children about God and spiritual affairs. If fathers fail to teach their children, they’ll be forsaking a crucial ingredient of good parenting.
While there are other traits of a good father, these are the foremost qualities that children find endearing. As a father, you aren’t perfect, so you will make mistakes. However, your children will come to love and appreciate you more when you express sincere apologies.
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