People Share An Injury They Had To Lie About Because The Truth Was Too Embarrassing
Every few seconds, someone in this world gets injured. From a simple paper cut to a sprained ankle, there’s no way to detect it. Injuries will come at you in some of the strangest ways imaginable. Even if you safeguard yourself, you can still wind up down for the count. Having an injury can lead to some unwanted questions. Sometimes, people have to make themselves sound cooler. No one wants to admit they accidentally broke their arm while using the microwave. They’ll just say the injury came after saving someone from a bear attack.
These people share the biggest lies they’ve told to cover up an injury. Some people were lucky enough to get away with it. Others had a hard time convincing anyone of their accident. It’s best to come forward with the truth of your injuries. No one’s going to look down on you for how you dislocated your shoulder.
#1 Quit Hitting Yourself
I gave myself a black eye. I was pulling my blankets up and they got stuck, so my hand slipped and I straight up punched myself in the face. I told customers the next day that I got it in a mosh pit since that was the reason for my previous black eye. The younger customers thought that was pretty rad; the older ones, not so much.
#2 Don’t Bug Me!
I finished soccer training and was putting stuff in my car when I heard something like a bug buzzing. Reflex took over and I swung my head away from the sound, causing me to hit my eyebrow on the edge of my car door and split open. I told everyone someone pushed me into the goalposts, which they all seemed to believe.
#3 It’s Been A Long Day
When I was in the first grade, I stuck a bean in my ear. The class was really boring, and we’d been using beans, probably for some math exercise, so I was just fiddling around with them. I stuck the bean in, tried to get it out, and couldn’t reach it. It hurt a lot, so I went to the nurse. I don’t know why, but she didn’t see the bean, so she decided it was an ear infection.
My mom picked me up and took me to an ear, nose, and throat specialist. Naturally, they noticed pretty much immediately that there was something stuck in my ear. They struggled to figure out how to get it out, and the nurse had the idea to use the irrigation machine to force it out. Worked like a charm.
#4 Your Comb Doesn’t Belong There
Do you know those standard combs that have the sharp metal pointy handles on the other end to part your hair with? Well, when I was in high school, I was getting ready for school one day and I was scrambling to find something while simultaneously combing my hair. I had a throw rug in my bedroom, and as I stopped combing my hair to reach for something, I slipped on the rug, fell flat on my stomach, and the comb promptly stabbed me on impact.
I was rushed to the ER and it turns out, it punctured my spleen so I had to get my spleen removed… I told my classmates I had mono and that it ruptured my spleen, just to save myself from telling everyone that I stabbed myself with a comb because I slipped on a rug. They all bought it and I never ended up telling anyone what really happened.
#5 Too Much Monkey Business
I was around 15 years old, I was messing around with a bunch of friends. We found a stuffed toy monkey in the bushes. We decided to call it Jicepy. We took some dumb pics with it before my friend decided to toss him into the trees. Me, having grown attached to the plushie, decided to dive after it in an attempt to rescue him.
I ended up with a torn open knee and a nasty scar. RIP, Jicepy. I just tell people I got the scar from falling over in a pool (I worked a stint cleaning out the drained pools for rescue seals, and they were often slippery). No one can learn I actually got it from diving into the bushes to retrieve a small dirt-covered plushie.
#6 A Ruff Situation
I once got a black eye from smothering my dog with love and hugs. I had my arms around her and my face pressed up against hers. When she heard the sounds of the neighborhood dogs, she jolted her head down and back up to break free of my embrace. Basically, a blunt snout to my eye caused an almost immediate black eye to appear. It would have been a very odd and difficult story to explain in passing at school, so I lied and said I got in a fistfight.
#7 One Step Closer
I got a concussion and severely fractured an ankle by walking straight off of a porch. I was stone-cold sober but surrounded by intoxicated people. In reality, the problem was that I thought there were steps there. I was off by a few inches. This was the evening that I learned I have atrocious night vision. I told people that I was intoxicated.
#8 A Disasterous Meal
I have a gnarly 3rd-degree burn scar on the inside of my upper arm. I’ve told people I got it from an accident involving boiling water, but the truth is I got it after getting a Stouffer meatloaf out of the microwave. I peeled off the plastic, put it on a plate while still in the container, and when I was walking it over to the table, I jerked my arm, causing it to slip off. All of the hot gravy poured over the inside of my upper arm. I’ve only told a few people what happened.
#9 Pull Up A Chair
When I was really young, my little sister and I used to play this game where we’d hide behind the counter was the microwave timer went off. One time, my sister said, “Let’s hide under the chairs!” They were like barstools but with backs on them. THought I was a little bit bigger, I did it anyway… As the microwave was about to go off, my little sister ran and hid under one of the chairs, and I went to go under as well; only, the chair fell down as I tumbled back.
I ended up with a hole in my head from the corner of a wooden counter chair. I think I also got a concussion. I went to the ER for a bunch of stitches and there was blood everywhere. My mom carried me in and kept telling me to stay awake the entire time. In conclusion, I have a scar on my forehead, my memory is foggy and I developed a slight stutter problem.
#10 Merry-Go-Round Broke Down
During my junior year of high school, I was part of the National Honor Society. At the end of the year, we would go help out with special parties at the elementary and intermediate school. Well, these parties happened on the playground, and a friend and I got on one of the merry-go-rounds as some of the kids wanted to see how fast they could spin us.
The force ended up pulling my leg out from under me and I connected with someone as we spun. I ended up with a severe ACL and meniscus strain and spent my summer in physical therapy. When I tell people what happen, I tend to leave out the whole playground piece if the story and just leave it as a basketball injury.
#11 Lying About Dear Old Dad
I was in first-grade gymnastics. I went home one day and my dad decided to pick me up by my arms. He wanted me to use my legs to push off his chest and do a backflip… on our hardwood floor. When I attempted it, I, for some reason, just let go of his arms while I was upside down. I ended up falling hard on the ground, completely shattering my left forearm. I went into school the next day in a sling. When I got interrogated, I said I got hurt at gymnastics practice.
#12 Safety (Key) First!
I was in gym class with a friend. It was just the two of us in the weight room and we were on two treadmills beside each other. My friend had the bright idea to keep increasing the speed on my treadmill, even to the point where I couldn’t keep up. This resulted in me promptly rolling off the treadmill, with part my leggings and 90 percent of my right knee skin ripped up in the process. Instead of telling my parents and gym teacher that embarrassing story, I told everyone, “I made a game-saving dive in volleyball!” I don’t even like volleyball.
#13 Bring A Bookbag Next Time
One day, I decided to take a train home. I was carrying my high school documents as well as my ID book in a clear plastic sleeve tucked under my arm. When the train finally came, I hopped on and took a seat. Once it started moving, I heard someone on the outside call out my name, but I didn’t really give it that much attention. Then, a few seconds later, it hit me.
It was right then that I realized the plastic sleeve that I had tucked under my arm wasn’t there anymore. I freaked out, not because there was any money or cards inside, but because my ID book, along with my official high school certificate and a few of my college certificates were there. I was afraid that someone might take my identity and do who knows what with it.
So… in a frantic state, I walked out onto the walkway or bridge of the train, leaped over the rails, and jumped off the train onto the gravel. The train had just left the station so it wasn’t moving at full speed yet, but it was moving fast enough to point where you could get hurt or break a leg of you fell the wrong way. Luckily for me, I didn’t break any bones.
However, I did manage to bust my lip really bad, chip my tooth, and hurt my leg. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I looked like I got beat up. To this day, that is the stupidest, most dangerous thing, I’ve ever done in my life, and all for an ID Book. Everything turned out okay in the end—I managed to get my certificates and a new ID, but now I have this scar on the right side of my face, under my eye.
Thankfully It’s not that bad. When my mom saw me that day, I just made up an excuse and told her that I got jumped by some thugs and they took my stuff. And that’s the lie I plan on telling until death. Again… I feel really stupid for what I did. On the bright side, I found out that my body is a lot tougher than I thought.
#14 The Chaser Becomes The Chased
One time when I was 13 years old, I was chasing our dog in the backyard with a broomstick, trying to establish dominance. It had just stolen half my sandwich. I swung back and forth at about waist level in a full sprint trying to trip its back legs. It zigged and I zagged. While trying to escape, it stepped on the end of the stick, planting it.
The inertia pole-vaulted me over a blackberry patch, next to a shed, that had a wasp nest under the eave. I hit the side hard, slid down into the thorns, and watched the nest explode a foot in front of my face. I could see back to the deck from where I landed and the dog had promptly circled the yard to go get the other half of my sandwich…
I, on the other hand, was bleeding, being stung, and trying not to pass out from the pain. My wonderful mother watched the entire thing—she saw me being chased by a legion of wasps, so she went inside and locked the door. I had to run 100 yards around the front to dive in the pool. My family still laughs about it when we get together. I told everyone I fell off my bike.
#15 Weird Class For An Injury
One time in the middle of class, my friend was pretending to cut my book, as a joke, with his scissors. So I went to grab them. It wasn’t the smartest decision—I cut my self, and when I grabbed them, my index finger was in the middle. The rest of my hand-pulled on the scissors full force, closing them. They were sharp sewing scissors.
There was blood everywhere. I was covering it and asked my teacher to be excused. She said no, so I had to show her. She had a look of pure terror. Turns out, I cut it to the bone, severed an artery and needed six stitches with glue. I lied about it because people thought it would’ve been from woodwork or something dangerous. But no. I got it during French class. The most dangerous of them all.
#16 Someone Needs Anger Management
My brother used to move around in his sleep. We slept in the same bed once and he punched me in the mouth, knocking out my front tooth. A few days later, he got mad at me and when I was in the shower, so he walked in and punched me in the mouth again, knocking out my other front tooth. When people at school asked me how I lost both front teeth so quickly, I told them they just came out. I talked weird for a while and people kept laughing whenever I said anything.
#17 Grooving Too Much
One summer evening, I had a dance-off to Britney Spears’ ‘Toxic’ with my friends. I was hair-flipping so hard that I gave myself really bad whiplash to the point where I couldn’t even move my head without moving my whole body. The next day, my boss noticed I was injured and I lied to him, saying that I was in an Uber that crashed. He continued to help me try and file a claim, which was awkward.
#18 A Strange Leap Of Faith
When I was about 11 years old, I jumped off the carport roof and landed solidly on my feet, twisting both knees. They buckled immediately and I fell on my tailbone, which broke. I told my parents that I tripped going down the stairs. They bought a one-story house the next year. I totally downplayed all the pain so they wouldn’t find out what really happened. Since that time, I’ve had two knee surgeries. The tailbone healed very crookedly but it doesn’t cause pain like the knees. They still don’t know!
#19 Bananas In Pajamas Are Concerned
During my first year of university, I put some clothes in the washing machine on the ground floor while still wearing my pajamas. The pajamas were a bit long in the leg, and on the way back up the stairs, I effectively walked on the inside of my own pajama bottoms. I pitched forward and banged my shin on one of the metal strips that were on the edge of each stair. I hit it badly and my leg swelled up. It was bruised from knee to ankle, and I told people I tripped, leaving out the whole pajama part.
#20 I’m Batman!
I jumped off my parents’ bed pretending to be Batman. I even had my Batman shirt on that had a cape on the back of it. I landed on my arm and broke it. I told my friends I was riding my bike doing a super cool trick and crashed. Oooof. I was six.
#21 Blame It On The Neighbors
My two-year-0ld cousin tried to bite my thumbs. I pulled my hand away and it hit my dog, who proceeded to bite my hand. This was not too embarrassing, but it was somehow complicated to explain… You know when you say something over and over again and the other person just doesn’t get it? Yeah, this happened for an entire hour, so I just said that the neighbor’s dog bit me.
#22 Don’t Bring Mom Into This!
When I was in pre-school, I was under a plastic slide on my back and was pushing up on it with my feet. The slide came off the ladder support, landed on my face, and gave me a black eye. When my grandmother came to visit me at home, she asked me what had happened (she already knew but she wanted to hear my version). I told her, “My mom threw a shoe at me.”
#23 Making The Situation Worse
I accidentally burned my eyebrow off with a small fire. I bought a “replacement” brow for it and for like two weeks, I wore it. The brow was finally starting to grow back just as I ran out of the glue that came with the fake brow so I decided to use superglue… I ended up supergluing my finger to my eyebrow and having to rip the entire brow off again.
When my dad got home, I was missing an eyebrow. He asked how and I said I didn’t realize I still had glue on my hands and I had an itch on my eyebrow… Not going to lie, to this day I don’t think he knows that I was actually trying to fix my already ripped off eyebrow… He bought me a brow pencil and for half a year I had to fill in one brow because it was just gone.
#24 Teen Angst Forever
I got into an argument with my parents and I slammed the door just to show my teenage angst. We have a weirdly designed, three-panel door and it’s really easy to get a finger into a place you’re not supposed to. So that’s exactly what happened—I broke my pinkie at the base. Now, I was mad, dumb, and full of testosterone, so didn’t tell anyone that night. I slept through the night with a broken finger, went to the school the next day and faked a soccer accident. Maybe I waited too long to go to the doctor because it’s never been the same, but hey, at least my parents still think I was rude and obnoxious at 15 years old.
#25 Do Not Underestimate The Power Of PlayStation
I have a scar that crossed my left eyebrow. It looks really cool and I got it during a fight against a man with a sharp object. At least that is what I tell everybody because saying my PS2 fell on my face after I tried to lift it while not paying attention may be too stupid. Whenever you have a larger-than-usual cut, always go for the fight story.
#26 Pele’s Not Happy
I was playing soccer with a bunch of my friends. One team was usually steamrolled the other whenever we played. On this occasion, I happened to be the keeper on the winning team, so I had nothing to do and I was really bored. I decided it was a good time to do some pull-ups, so I grabbed the crossbar of the goalpost and pulled myself up.
Once I was on top, I stuck out my legs for fun… And got them stuck in the net. I ended up falling to the ground, and I stuck out my hands to prevent myself from breaking my tailbone. I eventually found out that I’d broken my left wrist, with one of the bones inside the wrist being pushed out of position and slightly fractured. What I told my parents (and the doctor) was that I tripped over something while running for the ball, thus causing me to fall face first and break my wrist.
#27 At Least They’re In Good Spirits
I had a habit of laying in the shower for a few minutes to wake up before going to work hungover. This day, I sat up with my eyes closed to reach for my shampoo in the corner of the shower and I hit my eye on the shower handle at full speed, full force. I tried like a dummy, to do eyeshadow on the opposite eye to match the wonderful purples, yellows, and greens I just gave myself.
I should mention that I wore very light makeup in my 20s, so going to work with a bunch of random colors on my eyes was gonna make it so much worse. I washed it and quickly went to work. I explained to all of my coworkers that I hit my face on the shower but the people coming through my line all had different questions about my shiner.
#28 Concussion From A Cabinet
I opened a cabinet very hard and hit myself in the head. Then, I went and played football. I started throwing up and getting dizzy, so my parents brought me to the doctor and we found out I had a concussion. Although football definitely played a part in it, the doctor said hitting myself with the cabinet definitely made the same, if not more of an impact. I just told everyone football was the reason.
#29 One Wild Weekend
I am a professional female in my mid-20s. I got completely wasted one weekend and fell right on my face. I broke my arm, had skinned knees and elbows, and a few cuts on my face. I showed up to work the following Monday with a cast. I told everyone I was trying to learn how to skateboard. This was the point I realized I needed to get my drinking under control.
#30 Kids Being Kids
I was on a vacation once, staying in a house with a pool next to a beach. The land the house was on was higher than the beach, and there were two staircases leading down to the ocean. We were staying there with some friends of my parents and their son that was a couple of years younger than me. Well, I was just swimming peacefully when he decided to come down to the pool.
He started to chase me and I was like, dude, stop. So I backed up while he was running toward me and guess what, I fell down the stairs (wearing only a bikini). It hurt like heck because the stairs were made of sharp rocks. I’m lucky that I didn’t fall on my head. He went to get help soon after. I just told everyone that I fell because it was dark outside. I basically spared him the embarrassment.
#31 Almost Saw Stars
In the ninth grade, I went stargazing with my friends for an overnight school trip. I fractured my ankle after falling down a hill. My friends had to human-crutch me back to our dorms. For reference, I was 5’7″, 170 lbs, and built like a football player, whereas both of my friends were about 5-feet and maybe 105 lbs when wet. I also went to a Baptist school. It was my first year there.
They already didn’t like me. I wore a tie on the first day of class to annoy the Dean and I almost got detention. I also dyed my hair ‘unnatural colors’ just to go against the uniform code. Seeing as we were not supposed to be out past 11 p.m., and it was now 2 a.m., plus all the other stuff, I told my chaperones that I had jumped off the top bunk and landed wrong. They believed me, somehow, and to this day, I don’t know how I got away with it.
#32 Take That, Harry Potter
I was about four years old. I was all hyped up, chasing my grandma’s cat around her house. The cat took a sharp turn and I ran straight into the wall, busting my head open. It was my parents’ wedding anniversary and my grandma couldn’t get ahold of them, so she took me to the ER and I got stitches. I’m really surprised my big head didn’t break the wall. I have a scar on my forehead by my eyebrow. I tell people I defeated Lord Voldemort.
#33 Should’ve Listened To The Teachers
When I was in kindergarten, I broke my elbow doing something I had been told to stop doing. I was running around a large cement bench and at every corner, I would put my hand on the bench to pivot my body around the turn and run to the next corner. Teachers kept coming over, telling me to stop, but for whatever reason, I just kept doing it.
I ended up breaking my elbow on one of the turns and couldn’t admit that it was from doing what I had been told over and over again not to do. Immediately after sustaining the injury, I went over to the monkey bars, laid on the ground beneath them, and began to scream. To this day everyone thinks I broke my arm falling off the monkey bars.
#34 Just Change The Sport
This one is really dumb because it was not embarrassing at all, but I still lied about how I got hurt. I was playing street hockey with a friend. He didn’t know I was behind him and I accidentally took his slapshot to my face. I got a wicked bruise and a fat lip. When I went to school the next day and people asked what happened, I said I got hit playing baseball. For some reason, I was embarrassed about street hockey injuries, but a-okay with baseball injuries.
#35 Injured In A Makeshift Duel
I was helping a friend move and they asked me to take some old chairs out to the dumpster. Well, two guys and I got the chairs and we decided they should be broken up before they were thrown out. So we smashed them up a bit and one of us got the bright idea to grab pieces and sword fight each other. I grabbed the seat as a shield and a leg to hit with and it was all great fun until I didn’t see a hit coming. I was rewarded with a nasty black eye and a slashed eyebrow. I told everyone that I had tripped and fallen into something.
#36 Covering It With Gymnastics
When I was in high school, I was a competitive gymnast and was basically a walking injury. One time, I was in the shower and for some reason, I was reaching out and leaning on the towel rack installed on the wall. Well, the rack broke and I fell over the edge of the shower, except the shower had sliding glass doors and a metal track on the edge of the tub. The fall left me with a bruise that covered 70% of my thigh, which sucked because I had to wear my uniform skirt to school. I told all the kids I fell off a beam doing an aerial, and they were impressed.
#37 Locked In A Cage
I was cleaning my pet bird’s cage and I slipped on the little rug in front of my dresser. My face went straight for the birdcage. The door of the cage was open, and one those little hooks that are used to secure the door went up to my nose. It hurt quite a lot, and my nose bled like a stuck pig. I told my parents I didn’t know why it was bleeding like that. I was about 10 years old at the time.
#38 Hop To It
I was in college and a group of us went up to the roof of the apartment. I was wandering around in the dark while intoxicated. I found a big divider and climbed over it. It was dark and I couldn’t see anything, but I could feel that there was a stone pathway. I started jumping around and I eventually sprained my ankle. I told most of my family I hurt my ankle by jumping around playing Wii bowling, although I think the made-up excuse is more ridiculous than what really happened.
#39 Cat Scratch Fever
My cat leaped into an open toilet. The dummy didn’t even wait until I had stepped away to wash my hands or put the lid down)when he launched himself into the bowl. There was a strangled “meow” of surprise, and he slid back out. I immediately turned on the tap in the bathtub and attempted to shove his feet in the water.
Not only did the cat become disgustingly wet, but he also clawed the everloving heck out of my arms. At some point, his claws ended up getting STUCK into my skin. I looked like I had a prolonged and very uncomfortable encounter with Edward Scissorhands. This happened twice. If anyone asked, the kitty saw a chipmunk and lost his mind.
#40 A Happy Ending
I was intoxicated and fell in the parking lot of my friend’s apartment. I ended up busting my face wide open at her birthday party, which just so happened to be the night before a second date I was to have with this really cute girl I met on an online dating app. I went on the date and told the girl that a dog at work had knocked me over and I fell on my face.
Then, while on the date, some guys came up to me and rudely asked me what the heck happened to my face. My Tinder date grabbed my hand and made up some story about how I got into a fight defending her honor at a bar or some nonsense. I could hardly keep a straight face while she was telling the story but she sold the heck out of it. It wasn’t until a few days later I told her the real story of how I got hurt. She and I are getting married soon.
#41 Nair For Short Shorts
I was trying to take off my eye makeup, but there wasn’t any makeup remover left. So my mom told me to use baby oil. I looked in the bathroom and grabbed the first bottle that said the words ‘baby oil’ on it. I squirted some out onto a cotton ball and it came out as a cream, not a liquid. This should’ve been a red flag, but I slapped the cotton ball in my eye and rubbed it in.
It didn’t feel right so I looked at the bottle. It read “Nair,” with a picture of legs on it. I don’t know how I missed it, but my eye ended up being red and swollen. I was just glad my eyelashes didn’t fall out. I ended up telling my family that the dog had kicked me while jumping, which was, to this day, the worst lie I have ever told. They still believed though.
#42 It Was Certainly Super
I was in sixth grade, playing Kirby on the Super Nintendo. I lost, and in my frustration, I tried to dropkick the console. I ended up hairline fracturing one of the bones in my foot. I told everyone I was just running and jumping around the house because it was so stupid. The problem is, I’ve hurt many other bones in my body from moments of uncontrolled rage.
#43 The Truth Stings
I told people I tore my Achilles’ tendon by playing sports, but in reality, I stepped on a wasp nest, got stung right where it runs, sprinted away, and tripped over a foot, twisting my ankle in a hole. I also fell into a lake that day. My parents were not amused.
#44 This Sounds Crabby
When my family was on vacation in Florida, I was lonely because my parents wouldn’t play with me in the ocean, so I went to the pool. I hit my foot on the ground of the pool and it gave me like, two red dots. I went into the ocean and when I asked again to play, I was denied, and thus I screamed and said a crab bit me while showing them my pool markings. I was a little brat.
#45 It’s Just A Game
My friend and I were playing Soul Caliber 3 and he kept beating me by doing some cheesy moves. I got so mad I punched the wall. I immediately felt searing hot pain in my pinky and it was bent to the side, but not broken. I panicked and concealed the injury until I could find a better way to pass it off. Two days later at football practice, I was at the bottom of a pile with the football in my now bum pinky hand and I decided to take my chances.
I yelled really loudly in pain and said the football had been jammed down into my pinky. The coach took one look at my crooked pinky and called my parents to take me to the doctor. Turns out, when I punched the wall, I had torn the tendons in my pinky and needed surgery to correct it. After the surgery was done, the doctor said that there was more scar tissue than they expected, and asked if I might have injured my hand before the football practice. I lied through my teeth and got away with it, although I still can’t bend my pinky finger past a certain point!