Like ‘living your passion’, the phrase: sexuality issues can be confusing. Is it talk about sex itself – yes, sometimes- or is it about relationships, intimacy, body, heart and soul connection? With it, without it, excessive, not at all, I watch too much pornography, I want to leave because he watches pornography, we have young children and our intimacy’s gone, same sex issues, too tired, running on fumes and coffee…relationship counseling is about everything in the human experience.
Sexuality issues are part of the mix and found everywhere…as are drugs for depression. Sexuality issues come up for young parents surrounded by babies, toddlers and Fisher Price, pre-marriage, if you’re dealing with having an affair, dealing with your spouse having an affair, coping with family interference, artistic expression de-railed, expectations to get married, in need of separation or divorce counselling, aging, peer pressure…
In my family therapy and individual therapy practice in Toronto I see hard working single men and women living disconnected in busy times. With a lot of messaging going on, life can at the same time feel remote and detached. Peer pressure in the Twitter culture is high. Everyone has an opinion about your life. Isolation or loneliness within a marriage can be equally unfulfilling. If illness or accident or trauma intervene, it’s even easier to get to imbalance. Finding ourselves and each other again can do a lot to relieve stress and anxiety.
Finding a therapist should be as much about instinct as due diligence. Some things we have to come to while in a ‘safe space’. As human beings we tend to learn personally, not collectively. The exception is in the case of trauma. If one person gets shot, everyone else becomes fearful too. But it’s different with non-trauma based learning.
Individual or couple counselling can be invaluable in finding and keeping your balance; your family and friends will benefit. I give out ‘homework’ with practical applications for your specific life circumstance. My psychotherapy office provides an off-line environment where anything can be discussed.
And let’s not forget about love. My personal experience is that I’ve been together with my partner for a number of decades and we recently got married. I understand totally, however, that marriage is not for everyone. There are many people who live fulfilling lives on their own and children can be happy no matter what the constellation of the family as long as the adults who care for them are in a state of balance. As individuals and families, we need to be as free as possible to explore and express our true selves.
If you’d like to give me a call, my psychotherapy office is in the Riverdale part of Toronto, easy to get to by either car or subway.