I know you’re all waiting with bated breath for the story of my salvation. You didn’t know however that it was a salvation story. You were thinking medicine. Healing. What was healed, saved, however, was my soul. It was lifted from the muck and mire of life. Life as we thought we knew it. Life as society told us, as it turned us. I’m not sure that it was healed though. Possibly the beginning of a healing as it hasn’t been truly tested yet. What would test it? Society as is known in the US. Society bah humbug. Society as ruled by the higher ups. How do you save the planet??? You have everyone take the sacred medicine. The terrorists, the country leaders, the rulers, the middle guy, the poor guy and the homeless guy.
We began the vision quest with songs around the fire, our intentions put into the fire….then we drank. Out of a shot glass…. thick, brown, horribly tasting Grandmother’s teachings in a swallow. Then we went to our chosen spaces. Mine was very close to the fire circle and was very close to Irish and the Rabbi. No, not a rabbi…just nicknames. Right next to the river so I could hear the rushing water, but laying down mostly so I couldn’t see it. The jungle sounds competed with the river in the symphony.
I lay in my space on a mattress and just felt so sick. No visions again and I perceived nothing was happening. I refused the 3rd cup and had NO intentions of starting again come morning. By the time it wore off, I talked myself into staying another day. It rained. We threw the mattresses into a pile and spent the night in the temple. Imagine….rain in the rain forest. Lol. Come morning I did indeed try again. No mattresses now. Still nothing recognizable as a vision. I saw faces of Grandmother everywhere I looked but that’s not new for me. No snakes except for the ones I brought in myself with my fears. On that 2nd day, a salamander appeared. It was Grandmother. She stayed with me the entire time. If I couldn’t see her, I did an intake of breath….and she would fly from where ever she’d been to land on the vine in front of me. Thank you. She gave me great comfort. I felt ill but never purged. I tried to take photos but it was too hard. Too hard to reach, to sit up, to find, to lift the iPhone, I was melting. I was wax. Wax melting. Wax melting into the earth. I realized I was a slice of life and you could peel me up like a page and roll me up. Take me anywhere if you just rolled me up.
I was dehydrated. We’d done sweat lodge 2 nights earlier and I couldn’t replenish my water cuz I can’t drink while drinking ayahuasca. I was very weak. Then he gave us Mombasa medicine. Designed to shake things up. Empty out the pockets so to speak. I finally realized I had not yet reached any levels. I was so blocked. But, I was saturated so I only took half a cup. Rain again. Back to the temple. A blood curdling scream….a scary vision but the only one that happened the whole time. Poor dear. Jewish lady. But wow!!!!! Did the medicine wake her up!!!! Shake her up!!! Freed her!!!
Day 3. A very expensive medicine cooked in Peru. I was rather afraid of it. Needn’t be. On that day, I became a child. I became a fairy. And even an angel, according to Irish. I was part of his experience and he saw me as an angel. We tickled the group with our endless giggles and mother daughter views, rather backwards….this was the child leading the mother by the hand. At the river, I once again swam naked. The whole river was naked. It was as it should be. I saw my footprint on a rock and saw that I had shrunk to a child. I was a child. I couldn’t dress myself. How to get a skirt on??? Or a dress on? Many helped which caused more giggles. I was stuck. Most likely due to the fact that there was now a new hole they were trying to put my arm through. It’s ok though, it fits with my new path. You’ll see. We were very fulfilling for the others…a mother and daughter doing sacred ayahuasca. Everyone expressed their wish that their mom would come. The young Canary Islands Lady who said I inspired her said that during vision quest, she felt me with the hummingbirds and as a fairy. She did not participate. But she felt us…felt me.
The young Israeli soldier who had enough of war and was doing aya instead…almost stopped as well. Neither one of us were gonna go back that 2nd day but we did. And we both took it to the beautiful end….sorta. We both said no to the very last cup….at the river…at dark…3rd cup of the day. Jeeze….took me alllllll day to get sober and you want me to take more??? Ha!!!
The camaraderie, the togetherness, the suffering as one…..created family. But we were also shown with the medicine that we were family. I spent almost all of my medicine time in the hummingbird realm. Who knew there was such a thing??? I was taken care of so gently, so sweetly, so lovingly by Grandmother. She carried me. She rocked my cradle and sang to me with the animals voices. I discovered my natural state. Happy. I was born happy. I won’t leave her now that I’ve found her. We shall see what that looks like. But it’s simple to me. Black and white and all colors…..I won’t go back to the sad me. If I do…I will wither and die. Like a fragile flower. A baby flower. A baby flower fairy.
And that my friends….was worth all I went through. All we went through. We all got what we needed, each as a different perspective of the whole. The Goddess received the motherly sensual gifts, the soldier…got his heart back, Irish got community and the gift of giving and sharing, the Rabbi got the next steps for his path, ninja iguana got business ideas, Bastion the performer got new songs for an album, Italy feels she got a death reprieve, and even Vismay received some changes. We all raced the race and we all won!!!
The hummingbirds seem to come if I call them in my mind now. What a gift. 3 days in a row, I called and within minutes, she arrived…in the cabin!!! A sweat lodge with peyote a day later, beach yesterday, and today….again……medicine. Back to our spaces at 3pm
for one closing drink. It takes 3-4 hours to cycle through the body then…..the closing ceremony in the temple with the rest of the visitors. More drink. I’m exhausted so not sure how I feel about that but it came to me that I need more clarity regarding my future Now’s so I shall drink with joy tonight……and the Columbian Shaman thing is tomorrow. Not sure I’m gonna do that though. Then back to the mountain on Thursday for cleansing. I’d rather save that money but my daughter is adamant that I heal first …….then find a way to continue.
The bottom line of this medicine….that I can see, is that it works in layers. Therefore it is my opinion that multiple ceremonies are needed in order to get to the depths. Let’s just say….I’ve barely just begun. I would like to invite the world leaders to come next spring for vision quest of their own. Obama, Putin….Israel, Palestine, Iran……come. See your Gods. Get new life instructions. A new summit. Come. As for the rest of you…save your money….be brave. You can do it and it’s amazingness is unparalleled. Rise to the challenge and I DO….CHALLENGE YOU!!!!! There is an unborn baby that will beat you to it….this baby will drink tonight
and most likely will not suffer the teachings of society as we have…awake at birth….no darkness to shake. Viva la Medicina!!!! Come. Www.solcircle.org