Last week while scrolling through Instagram I noticed these bitter feelings and thoughts coming into my mind. There were some things I saw that I felt was unfair. Things were happening for other people, good things, but I felt like they should be happening to me. It felt like their opportunities were taking away from my opportunities. Or in my naturally competitive spirit, I almost felt challenged by other people, but not in a positive way. Whether the challenging was going on or not, it seemed that way to me. I voiced it to John Luke one day and told him about different situations that I felt were unfair and I was on the losing end.
The next day as I was having my quiet time I was thinking about that bitter feeling. Once I started to think about it, I realized that had been going on for a while. You see, good things were happening to others, and I felt like I had just been forgotten about. I was feeling this strongly lately and I saw this jealous and envious spirit coming up in me. It was easy to feel that way and justify those feelings, but I didn’t like that growing in me. It didn’t align with Christ’s life. It was ugly and making me feel ugly on this inside. I wrote down a prayer in my journal that day and this was a section of it:
“God, help me do away with envy and jealousy and pride. Show me how to get rid of it and to be able to full-out love others and be happy for them.”
I kept this prayer private and went on about my day. Later that day John Luke and I were out running errands together. He always listens to Rob Bell podcasts when he drives. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I don’t really pay attention. Honestly that day I wasn’t really paying attention. Until I heard him say the words jealousy and envy. I immediately thought of my prayer and my curiosity peaked. He was speaking about how he deals with jealousy and envy. The first things that struck me were when he said:
“When I realize I am having feelings of envy or jealousy I imagine God saying, ‘Are you envious because I am generous?'”
But the second thing struck me even more. He said:
“The world is not pie.”
He continued on and this was what he was getting at…
Guys we serve a God who is INFINITE. He literally has no boundaries. Only when something has boundaries can it be split up. So the opposite of that means when something does NOT have boundaries it CANNOT be split up. We cannot divide the divine. When we see the world with boundaries we tend to have this scarcity mentality and it’s a lot like pie. With pie there are only a certain amount of pieces, meaning only a certain amount of people will get a piece. This is totally how I naturally see things wether I always realize it or not- if something good happens to someone else, that takes away from me. But this isn’t truth. We serve an infinite God who cannot be divided because He has no boundaries. Love, joy…they are things with no boundaries.
So now whenever I feel envy or jealousy starting to creep up I call to mind two things:
1. God is being generous to them.
2. The world is not pie.
When I remind myself of these two things, its much easier to genuinely be happy for someone else. Someone else’s good doesn’t take away from me at all. They are receiving a blessing from God, and I have confidence that God knows best and does best. He’s already been generous enough to me and anyone else honestly by giving us His Son. He’s got plans for each of us and will equip us for those and lead us into those. His timing is perfect and so are His plans.
I also hope this encourages you to ask God to help you with things. We’re all struggling with things and we don’t have to try and hide it from Him or disguise it as something else. He already knows we’re struggling. I think He’s just waiting for us to ask Him for help. He wants to step in to teach us and aid us. It doesn’t have to be this elaborate prayer or ask. It can be as simple as
“God, I am struggling with ________. Will you show me how to fight it off and get rid of it?“
He may speak to you audibly, he may send you a friend or random person to speak into you, or He may even answer your prayer in a podcast on your way to Target. Just keep your ears open and ready to receive it. He often speaks in a still, small voice.
Thanks @31bits for the cutest picnic basket! Love this company and the good they are doing in the world.