It all comes down to love and relationships in the end...When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind.
Hello my dears,
I came across an old email today from one of my acting coaches, Crystal Carson, that I thought I'd share as I found it incredibly insightful. We're consumed in life by the very things so many regret on their deathbeds. I say lets learn from their regrets so we don't have to have them ourselves! This email was a gift. Thank you Crystal!
She sent this email to her students on 1/12/12 wishing us a Happy New Year:
In the words of a palliative-care nurse who's spent much of her life listening to people on their deathbeds, here are the Top Five Regrets of the Dying. These truths were first published on the Arise India forum. I thought I'd share them with you. Don't let these be YOUR regrets, those last few days on Earth...
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret. Most people in the world are being told that if they weigh too much, have the wrong clothes or hairstyle or don't make enough money, they don't exist. So they spend hours every day trying to live up to other peoples ideas of success. The life that is true to you isn't always easy to identify, never mind to live.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard. Self-evident, maybe. But still something worth thinking about in a world in which personal insecurity is now being traded as if it were just another commodity. We're scared we won't have enough or be enough, so we work harder. The harder we work, the more scared we become that this is all there is...and all there ever will be. This will be true if we don't start living true to ourselves. $$$ isn't everything.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. The nurse talks about how people developed illnesses that she believes were directly related to the "bitterness and resentment" they felt as a result of living a false life. Are we recognizing a theme here?
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Yes, these people never had Twitter or Facebook. But are those Facebook friends really your friends? Have you let go of your real friends because you're too busy with your Facebook friends? As the nurse puts it: "It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships." Which would mean real relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. "When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind," says the nurse. And yet many of us live our lives as if what others think of us matters more than ever. If someone doesn't like our acting in every role, or a casting director doesn't love our every audition, than we can go into a world of upset and misery. Yet what this nurse tells us is that the opinions of others matter far, far less than we might think at the time.
With this in mind, I hope you have a Happy New Year. It should be very happy because you still have time to live your dream life and be true to yourself. Here's looking forward to a very happy 2012 and, hopefully, one that is very true to each of our individual selves.
I love Crystal for wholeheartedly loving her students and the art of acting. She's a special person whom I've learned so much from. She's taught me how to live the lives of characters truthfully, about humanity, love and life. I'm forever grateful. Love you Crystal!