WHAT WE KNOW
Characteristics of Bullies
- Kids who bully seem to have a need to feel powerful and
- They derive pleasure from inflicting misery and suffering on their victims and show little empathy for the people they hurt.
- Most bullies not only fail to connect a victim's pain with their own behavior, but also will actually claim that a victim provoked the attack.
- Studies suggest that kids who bully are likely to have been raised in a home in which physical punishment is used as discipline.
- Students who bully in school are generally defiant, oppositional to teachers and administrators, and antisocial with their peers.
- In contrast to prevailing "bully mythology," bullies are shown to possess a high, even delusional, sense of self-worth.
- Despite what most of us grew up believing, there is little evidence to support the contention that bullies victimize others because they feel bad about themselves.
Characteristics of Bullying Victims
- Kids who typify victims of bullying appear to be anxious, self-doubting, and insecure.
- Bullying victims frequently report very low levels of self-esteem and a lack of confidence.
- Victims rarely stand up for themselves when confronted face-to-face by bullies.
- Bullying victims may lack social skills and friends and are often raised in overprotective households.
- Victims often are physically undersized and weaker than their peers.
- Contrary to popular belief, physical characteristics such as obesity, dress, or wearing eyeglasses have not been shown to be factors that correlate with victimization.
Bullying affects not only the bully and the victim, but also those who observe the behavior. Bullying causes a negative impact on the overall school atmosphere by creating a climate of fear.
"The impact of bullying on a school climate can be toxic," says National Crime Prevention Council member and former school administrator James E. Copple. "Bullies and victims suffer well-documented damage, sometimes long-lasting. We've been overlooking the fact that bystanders experience fear, discomfort, guilt, and helplessness that poison the learning atmosphere even more extensively. The level of bystander exposure is far beyond what many of us expected, especially in the upper grade levels, and its growth is nothing short of terrifying."
- Students who observe bullying report feeling unsafe, anxious, and less satisfied with school than do students who are not exposed to bullying.
- Bystanders and peers of victims can be distracted from learning as frequently as victims themselves are. Students who attend schools with frequent bullying are themselves likely to become more aggressive and less tolerant.
Bystanders may also experience the following feelings.
- Being afraid to associate with the victim for fear of lowering their own status, which sometimes happens when bystanders are afraid of retribution from the bully and of becoming victims themselves.
- Fear of reporting bullying incidents because they do not want to be called a "snitch" or "tattletale"
- Guilt or helplessness for not standing up to the bully on behalf of their classmate
- Being drawn into bullying behavior by group pressure
- Inability to take action or feeling unsafe or a loss of control
Scandinavian studies have reported that kids who bully other students during their school years are likely to have criminal problems as adults.
- Bullying behavior has been linked to vandalism, shoplifting, skipping and dropping out of school, fighting, and the abuse of drugs and alcohol.
- A child bully is very likely to grow into an adult who has difficulty developing good relationships.
Victims suffer long-term consequences .
- Students who are bullied often see school as an unsafe and unhappy place. Seven percent of American eighth graders will stay home from school at least once a month because of bullying.
- Students who are already social outcasts may find themselves even lonelier when they become victims of bullying.
- Being a victim of bullying brings consequences that can follow an individual well into adulthood, including depression, low self-esteem, other mental health disorders, and, in rare cases, even suicide.
- Studies have found that victims who were bullied as children are more likely to be bullied as teenagers and adults.
Ten Myths about Bullying
Excerpted from "Sticks and Stones and Names Can Hurt You: De-Myth-tifying the Classroom Bully!" from Education World. Retrieved May 2004 from www.educationworld.com/a_issues/issues102.shtml.
- THE MYTH: Bullies suffer from insecurity and low self-esteem. They pick on others to make themselves feel more important .
THE RESEARCH: Most bullies have average or above average self-esteem. They may instead experience aggressive temperaments, a lack of empathy, and poor parenting.
- THE MYTH: Bullies are looking for attention. Ignore them and the bullying will stop .
THE RESEARCH: Bullies are looking for control, and they rarely stop if their behavior is ignored. The level of bullying usually increases if the bullying is not addressed by adults.
- THE MYTH: Boys will be boys .
THE RESEARCH: Bullying is seldom outgrown; it's simply redirected. About 60% of boys identified as bullies in middle school commit at least one crime by the time they are 24.
- THE MYTH: Kids can be cruel about differences .
THE RESEARCH: Physical differences play only a small role in bullying situations. Most victims are chosen because they are sensitive, anxious, and unable to retaliate.
- THE MYTH: Victims of bullies need to learn to stand up for themselves and deal with the situation .
THE RESEARCH: Victims of bullies are usually younger or physically weaker than their attackers. They also may lack the social skills to develop supportive friendships and cannot deal with the situation alone.
- THE MYTH: Large schools or classes are conducive to bullying .
THE RESEARCH: No correlation has been established between class or school size and bullying. In fact, there is some evidence that bullying may be less prevalent in larger schools, where potential victims have increased opportunities to find supportive friends.
- THE MYTH: Most bullying occurs off school grounds .
THE RESEARCH: Although some bullying occurs outside of school or on the way to or from school, most bullying occurs on school grounds: in classrooms, in hallways, and on playgrounds.
- THE MYTH: Bullying affects only a small number of students .
THE RESEARCH: At any given time, about 25% of U.S. students are the victims of bullies and about 20% are perpetrators. The National Association of School Psychologists estimates that 160,000 children stay home from school every day because they are afraid of being bullied.
- THE MYTH: Teachers know if bullying is a problem in their classes .
THE RESEARCH: Bullying behavior usually takes place out of sight of teachers. Most victims are reluctant to report the bullying for fear of embarrassment or retaliation, and most bullies deny or justify their behavior.
- THE MYTH: Victims of bullying need to follow the adage "Sticks and stones will break your bones but names can never hurt you."
THE RESEARCH: Victims of bullying often suffer lifelong problems with low self-esteem. They are prone throughout their lives to depression and other mental health problems and even to suicide.
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