<human>: sir my father is with me, i am married since 7 years but i have no child, sir most of the time the events of the death day of my mother revolve around my eyes, i always feel that i was not good to my mother, some times i think that i not love my mother but i am afraid of god that he punish the people who not do good with their parents , so due to this fear i am always remembering my mother and think that i have not take good care of her otherwise i have no love for her, i frightened from god , these feelings i have most of the time, now i feel that every thing which i done in past is wrong and i was totally wrong. most of my time spent in thinking that how these thoughts came into my mind that mother should die and always try to justify myself that these are not my thoughts but than i cant beleive that these are not my thoughts,, i always feel that i did bad with my mother and i cant bring her back, when i was taking care of her when she fall down , i some time got angry with her and show aggrestion to her , i think at that time i do that for her good but now i think that my intentions towards my mother was not good, i feel her burden so i show agression to her, i tottaly loose confidence on me, when ever i will go for some good deed, i feel that a person who was not good to her mother he has no right to help any one, such person do any thing allah will not forgive him, i did very big sin, i loose my mother and my jannat, she loves me too much but i did nothing, now i cant bring her back and ask her to forgive me, she left me, and those people who are bad to their parents never find peace in this world, same is the case with me, my punishment is started and i deserve it,
<bot>: Brief Answer: I can understand your problem and concerns. You are going through grief reaction that occur following the death of a near relative. You need grief counselling and some medicines to help you overcome these problems. Detailed Answer:People develop guilt feelings after the death of a near relative. You are also experiencing the same. Your grief is being complicated by depression, and you must seek professional help. It will help to overcome the symptoms. Professional help is in the form of medicines and psychotherapy. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors are given for depression and grief counselling and workup is done for improving other symptoms. Please feel free to ask if you have any followup questions. I hope you find this helpful.