<human>: my entire life i have been coping in fetal positions since i was 5 or so. i am now 19 and steal dealing with this, i know my life is hard, i just recently figured out i was being pointed at for things that werent  my fault as in lost jobs, lost friends, having non myself, and etc.my boyfriend has put up with this cause the blame and my situation doesnt allow my life to cheer up any better then it has. hes a nice person but he cant tell how i feel unless i verbally tell him, due to that he cant understand. is their anything i can do to have a better relationship
<bot>: Yes, there is, dear friend. First, you have to begin counselling with the school psychologist. There is no alternative to this. At the same time, you might want to start your life anew with the discarding of your old baggage. There is no point in claiming to be a victim of circumstances, or cry about your past. Your past is just that: it is your past. Nothing more, nothing less. You must start looking for the solution to the future ... you have a kind and understanding boyfriend, but if you won't start on the right path now, the relationship is doomed. You got to get a hold of yourself. Start by listing on a paper all the good things' life has given you. Perhaps you can begin with this beautiful life itself. Then, may be your parents have been loving. Your sits? Your best friends with whom you can still share secrets? Once you make a list of the good things that have happened to you, the bad things will recede. Perhaps forever. The counselling must continue for as long as needed, till you are out of the woods. The counselor may suggest a visit to the psychiatrist, and if so, please go through with it, and if medications are given, please take them. Hope you find your right path with a mix of positive thinking, shedding of the past baggage, good counselling and a belief in yourself.