OH THESE THINGS ARE GREAT

PROS:WHAT YOU'RE THINKING: these socks look ridiculous. Am I a malnourished, under-complimented (but already with a rather needy personality), emo middle school girl who needs to be seen as SO REMARKABLY DIFFERENT as to pretend my feet are hands in which need those rather useless, yet stupid looking cotton gloves on my FEET?WHAT THESE SOCKS DO: with each individual toe carefully caressed by 70% Coolmax/ 25% Nylon/ 5% Lycra sock material- this ain't your every day sock material... these amazing attributes led me to nickname these socks, TSocks... because they ever so lovingly wrap around your T's. These materials take in your sweat and cheese-funk and covert it to the specific hormones your body is depleting AS YOU RUN/ON THE FLY. They increase your miles per hour running capability while simultaneously transferring your each toe impact energy into biodegradable, fuel efficient, high MPG, low CO2, Obama/Democratic party approved Green energy that can and will be used by your body at a later time to better digest/burn fat and carbohydrates that you will no doubt NEED to ingest.BEFORE I USED THESE SOCKS: I was able to run a good 6-7 miles per hour for 30 seconds or so before I nearly collapsed in chest pain on the ground, thinking there has GOT to be a more efficient way to commit suicide...AFTER: I could not believe it... I could run faster, jump higher - in fact I believe my top speed was approaching 230 MPH before I had to slow down in order to jump, because there was a cat stuck in a tree you see? So I slowed my approach to around 160 or so and made a rather impressive leap in which when I landed the cat was safely placed in the loving arms of a rather plain looking peasant girl. But before you think I'M amazing, remember how I was before these socks...BEFORE I USED THESE SOCKS: I had Low T, had problems keeping an erection, and my kids disrespected me...AFTER: my kids now know not to F*** with me because when they do, I slowly yet casually spin around in my office chair (without getting up) and point my TSock'd big toe at them... to which in response they quietly back out of the room and GENTLY close my door while twisting the knob so as to not make a noise... they get the picture ;) My lady couldn't be happier, she often wonders why I won't take my socks off while doing the dirty, but she doesn't complain since I now have erections lasting 15-16 hours and can perform so IMMEASURABLY well she's practically - no, literally - begging me to bring it down to sub-human speeds... needless to say, this was a major improvement ;)IN A NUTSHELL: these TSocks are worth every penny, they changed my life. My kids now respect me, I feel like a man again, I can run up walls, do a quadruple backflip, and at the same time feel the Lazy Boy beanbag + Jacuzzi/spa kind of comfort on my toes that Dr. Scholls could only lie about to compensate for - who's gellin' now? This kind of comfort really serves to bring out the difference in my strength and stamina. My women now sees me as more than just a well-endowed, finely tuned, exotic sex machine; but rather a shiny, studded, Rosso Corsa Ferrari of a well-endowed, finely tuned, exotic sex machine. Sure, my feet stink since I refuse to take these things off, but let's be real here, my Tsocks are life changers. Years of therapy about my self-image as a man could not do what these socks did for me in - thank you Amazon Prime shipping - less than 3 days.NEVER LOOK AT SOCKS THE SAME WAY AGAIN: socks are more than just cotton sacs that wrap around your feet... they are the very essence of what it means to be a man, and in our culture we as men have gotten ourselves horribly lost. When a woman sees a man of honor, a man of courage, a man who wears socks with individual toe cutouts, she unmistakably realizes why she's had 6 divorces, 13 kids and STILL cannot find the missing piece in her life... the missing piece men, was - BRACE YOURSELVES - your TSocks. Now don't get cocky here, you can't be walking around showing these bad boys off without shoes on, because if the secret gets out as to what really drives women and what separates my fellow Rosso Corsa Ferraris from the rest of the mere KIAs, every chump will turn into me and be able to leap over canals and disarm entire armies with his well-fitted-TSock'd feet. I strongly urge you to consider what kind of chaos could ensue if this type of information got out to the public and became mainstream - we must be vigilant, tell your BFFs only.MY MAIN POINT: I just want you men to realize that what you wear under your shoes really does impact and influence your own life as well as the lives of those close to you - WHEREVER YOU GO, WHOEVER YOU'RE WITH, WHATEVER YOU DO, they will be looking to you as the main sock wearer in your household for answers. Do not take this lightly. Socks like these provide great power and influence, but with great power comes insurmountable scores of responsibility that no man can reasonably face alone... but when you consider that each toe is carefully divided, wrapped, and tenderly and lovingly caressed by - NOT JUST COTTON, but - an impressive blend of 70 percent CoolMax, 25 percent nylon, and 5 percent Lycra, you will start to realize and act upon the immense awe and satisfaction that your toes are not just boy-toes any longer, but ANGEL toes which are capable of commanding even the legions of the High Heavens.CONS: smell.