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Turn this news article into a sensational and exaggerated piece.

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"A local cafe has begun offering vegan pastries alongside their regular menu items."
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The gastronomic world is in a frenzy! Rumor has it that a local cafe has added a profusion of delectable vegan pastries to their array of delicious menu items. Is this the end of traditional pastry recipes as we know them? The answer may shock you.