From he ". F. Sunday Mercury. SHORT PATENT SERMON.

 BY DOW, JR.
{"character_count": 5534, "word_count": 988, "ccnet_language_score": [0.968500018119812], "ccnet_perplexity": [1512.5999755859375], "fasttext_language": ["en"]}
 as follows: Quoth he, to bid me not to love, Is to forbid my pulse to move, My beard to grow, my ears to prick up, Or, when Pm in fit to kick up; Command me to wipe out tic inoon And twill as easily be done.

 My hearers, every one, in the course of existence, is more or less obnoxious to love. It is disease that selzes one suddenly-the symptoms of which are always easier imagln- ed than described--and rages with greater or less virulence, according to the natural tenn perament of the patient. Matrimony, my friends, is the only medicine that can effect speedy cure and even that sometimes fails in wholly eradicating the disease from the system. It is felt not only about the heart and in the precincts of the pluck, but it ex- tends to everypart of the body, running with lighminglike velocity along the spinal mar TOW, like electricity on wire, producing certain mysterious sensations, the philosophy of which has never yet been fully understood. It sometimes appears to settle in the bones, and assume chronic form and then again, like an outward itching eruption, it seems as though 1t might be greatly alleviated, if not completely cured, by scratching; and yet after all is said and done, Git won't stay scratched the more one irritates, the greater is the irritation.

 My friands-lnva strains tho hnort of the human race, and causes them to vibrate in perfect tune and accordance with every fine feeling and sentiment pertaining to the better qualities of our nature and yet 1t not unfrequently ''puts the screws" on so hard as to snap them asunder, and leave each moral and physical instrument as completely out of tune and devoid of harmony, as corn-stalk fiddle in the hands of plough- boy. Love is subject to no control Its darts pierce as easily through the steel wrought armor of the warrior, as the flimsy material l that half covers the bosom of boarding 1 SCHOOL mss. Go bid the sun cease to shine in the heavens-the tides cease td1 bw- lay an injunction upon each running stream place Positively N o Admittance' over your doors to keep the cold without-have your trunk unlocked in the presence of woman and not expect her to look into it-brng an action for damages against an earthquake- and 1t will have just about as much effect as to bid persons cease to love when they are once fairly in for it.

 My dear friends-the thoughts of young l fellow violently in love- are for the part confined to one particular channel The needle of his affections, though it sometimes trembles, cannot be made to vary essentially 1 from the object of its attraction. The fine threads of his feelings, sympathies, and de- sires, become so snarled up and entangled in the still finer ones of the being he idol izes, that 1t were impossible to separate them without snapping some half dozen of them, at least, asunder Bid body not to love when he already loves! Why, my friends, you might as well attempt to appease the cravings of ones hunger, by preaching up to him the benefits to be derived from total abstinence of food. Divine love begat the world, and human love perpetuates it. While l'i tIu propagating season of life, love is the strongest impulse of mans nature. It arouses all his dormant energies, and spurs him on- ward to deeds of high emprise-gives strength to ambition-and adds many new and beautiful feathers to the wings of genius. Love is never the offspring of effort. It springs spontaneously in the human breast, like toadstools in barn-yard- -abides it's own time, and IS subject to no compulsory commands. Individuals love by instinct, and not by motive; not because they have particular end to gain, but because they can't help 1t; and there is no doubt, my worthy hearers, that if there were but only one man and one woman in the world. and either were the very essence of ugliness, they would eventually fall in love, and become beautiful in each others sight Love would shed such golden halo around the object of the mans adoration, that he would look upon her as an angel of light and loveliness. in spite of her every deformity. He would swear that her sweetness exceeded that of the balmy morn, or the Arabian wind, o'er- laden with ambrosial odors . so sweet that the mother who bore her must have fed on violets, and given her birth upon bed of roses. He would see such celestial beauty in every part of her, that were she cut up into little stars, Gas Shakespeare would sav.l and set in the skies, her very toe nails would make as much brighter constellation than the Great Bear, as the gems in an angels dadem are brighter than the grease spots in a convict's character.

 My friends-it is all well that you should be subject to the attacks of love in your younger days; for 1t carries off much of that corrupt humor which so rapidly accu- mulates in the moral systems of the young -smoothes down many asperites upon the rough surface of human nature, and while it binds two hearts together with the silken cord of affection, it throws mantle of peace over the mind, and paints some beautiful pie lures on the canvass of one's future prospects. Expose, then, yourselves to loves contagion Ill your early years-take the infection and become purified, an age creeps on finds you alone as it were in the world, sad, meian- choly, sour, and soggy, groping in the dark ness of sin and selfishness, without the cheering light of love and the heavenly smile of woman.

 My friends-the flowers of love can never be gathered by old and withered hands, and Cupid will have little or nothing to do with