VAN BUEEN, April 2Slh, 1917.
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Mr.. CiarEe


The evening being warm, and your city
rather dull, have been amusing my ysofby looking
over some notes OF tour recently made through
the VI western part Of Missouri and Arkansas-one
OF which strikes me as possessing some humor-
II your professional sympathy will permit you 10
view II IN the same Light II is at your service.


During the last spring, or early part ofsumncr,


in the midst of the excitement accustomed by the
raising and marching of troops 10 Fort Levens-
worth, 4 certain Editor OF some paper in Missouri,
whose name Is Van -, having occasion TO visit
liarrsouvlle, i'll Van Burcn county. was on his
return towards Pleasant llII and partaking of the
general excitement Of the country, increased as il


is said by few horns of fourth proof before start


ing. he became wonderfully patriotic and shlva-
rlc, most editors do spake III high terms OF the
capacous talents of Mr.. Poi and Qulxot like.
cleft The air most Justify right and left with his
supple whip crying at each stroke there goes a
yeo" rascal here Mexican head &c.--In this
most CnviubIc state Of mad he discovered at the
distance OF half Il mile a man slowly Jogging along


IN the direction he himself was gong, surprising
the man doubtless to be Mexican, ha clappcl his
spurs 10 Roslnanta's sides. and IN II few minutes, ,
was by the side of his game, who in lieu of Il Mex
lean, proved 10 be stdatc Old straight created
Methodist farmer, of pcrhap, sixty years of aye,
who had been 10 town 10 purchase n scythc, and
N!Il INC u iiit upon ms should
cr, lcisurcIy proceeding towards ms home. when
tho daring knight dashed up an nprrishins his
whip high ms he I'd d'lnlnIcI If hc were Il
Mexican, and If 50, by want right dlI he dare to
show himself upon that prairie. The old man
looked gravcly upon the hero for moment, and
then replied that he was no Mexican. but IL farmer
who lived few miles OFF. It Is well for vou
said the Editor. that you dlscaim any comnrxinn
with Mexico, otherwise | should certainly have
dispatched you, wItEuut ceremony, as have Just
slam score of the yellow raScaIS and am anxious
for another engagement: tut as 10 You being Il
farmer perceive by your military coat and the
weapon you bear upon your shoulder, that ii is ali
humbug: as have been disappointed in fight


will show YOU how | would have carved you
up had you been McXican make ready and
defend YOURSELF shall charge YOU upon the right:
but wCa " observed the old man, you are misla-
ken IN suppOSlng my cOIt Il military One--it is
only cut after the fashion Of the church to which
belong; and the weapon you speak Of, is only
scylhc blade that purchased Tins morning. None
of your CANNON, Old follow, rcpIrd the chivairouS
Eduor--I know military undrces from Meth
o!ist 'shodbcTy.' and French sabre from scy tin,
b.ade: 50 defend yourself. With this he hcavcd
his spurs into the side of his painting horse, and
dashed off to the distance of eighty or a hundred
yaIds, ii en- suddenly facing about he raised his
whip over his head, and after Il few significant
fourishcs, charged at full speed upon the old mans
stnrboard, bcamS coming vii. such velocity as
almost "ap>lZcd the farmers sturdy horse, cary
ing right and left III the mcnntI ne with his whip.
The old gentleman not rcshlng such sport begged
him TO dcsis, and assured him that he was ms,
taken i'll supposIng him 4 military man; and that
he was utterly unable 10 lpl rccIatc Inc excellence
of any great military feat, being nothing but
plain farmer Great; sir, do you call that great.
I,,l, e.. I-,,,., | a.,


you common solder. | will now SHOW YOU
how would sIuy AmpudIa wcro you he: pre-.
pure, shall charge You upon tho left: thus say
ing he again uarted over the smooth prair c 10 the
distance of perhaps two hundred yards, when af-
ter various evOulIonS of the whip, similar to
those Of the first charge, he came with such force
upon the old mans 'hcG,' as nearly upset both
s,eeds and riders. The conclusion bruised the
declplc of Wesley in a manner that put 10 flight
for the moment, all christian iorbcarancc and he
demonstrated with some warmth with his strange
against the cAtrcmc improperly of
such conduct: but it had only the effect Of dr,erm-
inng our hero upon an other charge. in which he
TO exhibit the manner III which he would.
If in Mexico, charge upon whole regiment You
may, SAID he, now consider yourself IA whole reg
imcnt of Mexican Dragons, and will undertake.
single handed TO vanQuIsc the whole Of YOU by IL
charge on your front. So savuI he braced him !
self firmly IN his stlrrupS and rctrcacd TO still
greater distance, whence after short halt, he
camo with all the powcr Of spurs and stud, -four
ishng lis familiar whip at a tremendous rate; bui
by this time tho old man having imbbed somc- |
what of the military spirit of his adversary, had
planted himself firmly in his saddle with the de-
termination TO repel the attack with all the skill
he master of; so that when the American
Quixot came .huntcring by, he brought down the
gli,tering blade with tremendous crash, cutting
through his adversary's hat, scalp, arm and thigh
and terminating its bloody course in Rosimanta's
left shoulder. What what! exclaimed the dis
comilcG hero, as tho blood slroamcd from his
wounds. dc You intend to kill me! y no, the old
gentleman calmly replied, | was only showing
you how | would have Tended Off had have been
n regiment of McXlcnhs. Well, well, but you
have wounded me badly, whereas | was only
showing what aroud have done if you had been
a regiment Of MeXlcans. So was |, sir. only
showing what | r0uH have done. Thus ended
the military exploits Of the brave Editor, whose
wounds were dressed by the farmer, and he pro-
ceeded on his way in peace. A. J. G.


From The ~ O Delta.