VARIETY.

WYE LA BAGATELLEll
The following humorous argument was advanced by canal stockholder, for the purpose of putting down sail- ways:

 ssHe saw what would be.the effect of 1t; that it would set the whole worldea gadding twenty miles an hour,sir! Why, you will not be able to keepan appren-. fice boy at his work; every Saturday evening he must take trip to Ohio, to spend the Sabbath with his sweetheart. Grave, plodding citizens will be flying about like comets. All local attach ments must be atan end. It will en- courage fightiness efintellects Virtu- ous people will turn into the most inn measurable liars: all their conceptions will be exaggerated by their magnificent notions of distance; sonly hundred miles off! Tut, nonsense. I'll step a. cross, madam, and bring your fan' Pray SIT, will you dine with me to-day, at my little box on the Allegany?n sWhy, in. deed don't know; ! shall be in town until l2; we'll shall be there, but you must let me off in time for the theatre'-- And then sir, there will be barrels of pork, and cargoes of flour, and chal- drons of coal, and even lead and whis- key, and such like sober things, that have always been used to sober travel fling; whisked away like set of sky rockets. It will upset all the gravity of the nation. If a couple ofgentlemen have anaffair of honor, 1t sonly to steal of to the Rocky Mountains, and there no jurisdiction can touch them. And then, sir, think offiying fordcbt! 4 Set ofbailiffs mounted on bomb shells, would not overtake an absconding debtor; only give him fair start. Upon the whole, sir, it isa pestilential topseyturvey ha- ram scarum whirligig. Give me the old, solemn, straightforward, regular Dutch canal--three miles an hour for express cs, and two for jog or trot iournies- with a yoke of oxen, for heavy ioadl g,o for beasts of burden; 1t is more prim- tive and scriptural, and suits moral and religious people better. None of your hop, skip and janp whirnsies for me"

 Dandy Elopenent. Our city for few days past, has been under no little ex- citement at the sudden disappearance of a thing, who had strutted about our streets during abouta year past, in the shape of a full dash'1 tlandy. He wore large wliis'kers, . galIinipper cap, | dangling watch and safety chain, 7a snodc pantaloons and gaiters, white gloves, &c. &c. and walked along our sidewalks without putting himself to