A Autoethnography on experiences of bereavement and delayed mourning of fathers in childhood

Objectives In the study the researcher's personal experiences of childhood bereavement and delayed mourning were described. The purpose of this study is to explore what the children experienced at the time of the bereavement and to examine in depth the inner world and its meaning experienced by the children in the process of suppressing mourning for the bereavement and delaying mourning. Methods In this study a research method called autoethnography was applied, which is a field of self-study. The data were collected and analyzed in cooperation with the collaborator, focusing on the data recorded by the researcher's personal experiences, such as the researcher's self-reflection diary, memory recall data, psychotherapy verbatim, and family interview data. In order to secure the reliability and validity of this study, catalytic validity was used, and it received professional review by two Ph. Results First, children with insecure attachment suppress and avoid mourning feelings when they experience parental bereavement, and mourning may be delayed. Second, for children who have experienced bereavement of their parents, the bereavement experience can become complex trauma if they lack or lack the care and attention of surrounding adults, including one living parent. Third, the primary emotion can be mainly experienced at the time of the bereavement experience and the secondary emotion can be mainly experienced from the experience following the delayed mourning process, and it can be seen that the secondary emotion is related to complicated grief. Fourth, in order to adopt the self-cultural descriptive paper as a research method, it is necessary to look at the researcher's own emotions objectively. Fourth, in order to adopt autoethnography as a research method, it is necessary to look at the researcher's own emotions objectively. Conclusions When mourning for the death of a parent was delayed, it was a complex trauma, and as a result, secondary emotions rather than primary emotions had a profound effect on the individual as a whole.