Frustration and fulfilment: experiences in therapy of expectant fatherhood

Whilst it is understood that miscarriage occurs in around 250,000 women and couples per year in the UK, it is seldom spoken about openly in society (miscarriage association.org.uk). This kind of silent suffering, an inability to speak about their loss, occurs not only amongst women but, perhaps unsurprisingly, is even more present where the male population is considered. Maybe, therefore, it is a given that this subject of relative taboo should be heard more prevalently within the private confines of the therapeutic relationship. This article brings together clinical examples from the author's therapeutic work with fathers who had experienced the early stages of expectant parenthood followed by miscarriage. In addition, the author shares personal experiences of an unsuccessful pursuit of biological fatherhood, and demonstrates how this can, at times, become a challenging part of the clinical work. There is an attempt to contrast psychoanalytic theory and attachment theory to illustrate some of the aides and obstacles to clinical thinking under such circumstances.