[speaker001:] Okay. Uh, first, um, I need to know, uh, how do you feel about, uh, about sending, uh, an elderly, uh, family member to a nursing home?
[speaker002:] Well, of course, it's, you know, it's one of the last few things in the world you'd ever want to do, you know. Unless it's just, you know, really, you know, and, uh, for their, uh, you know, for their own good.
[speaker001:] Yes. Yeah.
[speaker002:] I'd be very very careful and, uh, you know, checking them out. Uh, our, had t-, place my mother in a nursing home. She had a rather massive stroke about, uh, about
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] uh, eight months ago I guess. And, uh, we were, I was fortunate in that I was personally acquainted with the, uh, people who, uh, ran the nursing home in our little hometown.
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] So, I was very comfortable, you know, in doing it when it got to the point that we had to do it. But there's, well, I had an occasion for my mother-in-law who had fell and needed to be, you know, could not take care of herself anymore, was confined to a nursing home for a while that was really not a very good experience. Uh, it had to be done in a hurry. I mean, we didn't have, you know, like six months to check all of these places out. And it was really not, not very good, uh, deal.
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] We were not really happy with,
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] nursing home that we finally had. Fortunately, she only had to stay [NOISE] [faint in background] a few weeks and she was able to, to return to her apartment again. But it's really a big, uh, big, uh,
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] decision as to, you know, when to do it. You know, is there something else we could have done, you know, in checking out all the places that, uh, might be available. Of course, you know, there's not one on every corner,
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] especially, you know, smaller areas,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] smaller towns.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh. Yeah. Probably the hardest thing in, in my family, uh, my grandmother, she had to be put in a nursing home and, um, she had used the walker for, for quite some time, probably about six to nine months. And, um, she had a fall and, uh, finally, uh, she had Parkinson's disease,
[speaker002:] Oh.
[speaker001:] and it got so much that she could not take care of her house.
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] Then she lived in an apartment and, uh, that was even harder
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] actually.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] Because it was, you know, it was just a change of, change of location and it was very disturbing for her because she had been so used to traveling.
[speaker002:] Yes.
[speaker001:] I mean, she tr-, she had, she had children all across the United States
[speaker002:] Uh-huh
[speaker001:] and, you know, she spent nine months out of the year just visiting her children.
[speaker002:] Right. Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] And, um, that was pretty heart-rending for her.
[speaker002:] I can imagine.
[speaker001:] I think when she finally came to the realization that, you know, no, I cannot, I cannot take care of myself.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh. That's tough. That's tough.
[speaker001:] Yeah. I mean, for somebody who is, you know, for most of their life has, has, uh, not just merely had a farm but had ten children
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] had a farm, ran everything because her husband was away in the coal mines.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] And, you know, facing that situation, it's, it's quite a dilemma.
[speaker002:] Yes.
[speaker001:] I think,
[speaker002:] my mother, excuse me. Go ahead.
[speaker001:] Yeah. Well, my, uh, my, uh, probably one of the biggest decisions I think that was very strengthening for our family was rather than have one child make that decision
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] than just delegate it. I think that they, they had a great deal of, um, all the brothers and sisters got together and they actually had a conference.
[speaker002:] That's great.
[speaker001:] And, I mean, it was just, it was probably one of the most strengthening things for our family, getting down together and doing that.
[speaker002:] That's right.
[speaker001:] And, and just the children were involved in the decision, because it involved just them.
[speaker002:] Right. Yeah.
[speaker001:] And, you know, making that decision and then finding a place and everybody had duties
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] to perform. You know, whether it was just, you know, giving money or whether it was actually taking part in a lot,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] of the decision making, you know,
[speaker002:] Yep.
[speaker001:] like finding a proper nursing home.
[speaker002:] You were very,
[speaker001:] And they,
[speaker002:] fortunate.
[speaker001:] I know. They, and, well, they had, well, they had, they had seen it coming.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] So, so, I mean, it, I mean, I, I, I, I har-, I, I truly wish that if something like that were to happen that my children would do something like,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] that for me.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh. Absolutely. Unfortunately, a lot of times it, responsibilities like that seem to fall to, you know, maybe one child in the whole family, you know.
[speaker001:] Yeah. Yeah. Well, we, we,
[speaker002:] And, uh, it's usually not a very smooth,
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] smooth thing. We were, I was lucky too that I only have one brother.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] And, uh, fortunately, we agreed, you know, on exactly, you know, what we thought should be done. My mother also was very very independent. She had her own, still had her own little house and still driving her own car,
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] at age eighty-three. We were lucky in, that in one respect in that after she had her stroke she wasn't really, you know, really much aware of what was going on.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] That nursing home life would not have been, you know, anything of her choosing, of course, she would, she would not have been happy there at all.
[speaker001:] Um.
[speaker002:] But as it turned out the stroke took care of that concern for us.
[speaker001:] Yeah. Yeah. Well, with my, with my grandmother I think it was, it was such that, uh, that she did not have the problem with, she was very well aware and her daughter came and visited her
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] at least her daughter,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] came and visited her and also her several grandchildren,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] came and visited her every day.
[speaker002:] That's great.
[speaker001:] And I think that when she passed away it was probably one of the greatest, [lipsmack] um, I, I, I think it would be, it was more of a relief
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] for her.
[speaker002:] Sure.
[speaker001:] And, um, I mean, but she was truly, she was truly aware. I mean, I, I, I di-, I don't know how I would, how I would deal if one of my parents came with, with Alzheimer's.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] or something like,
[speaker002:] That would be tough.
[speaker001:] that which is, which is far more devastating.
[speaker002:] Yes. Absolutely.
[speaker001:] And, um, I, I, I think that what one thing that they were concerned probably was the fact it wasn't necessarily, you know, like the quantity of care
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] but the quality of,
[speaker002:] Yes.
[speaker001:] care. That the people that worked there
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] were very
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] were very interested that, to make it as close a home environment,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] as possible.
[speaker002:] Yes. It would,
[speaker001:] I think, I think, I think, you know for myself I, I see that as probably the, the, what everything would hinge upon.
[speaker002:] Oh,
[speaker001:] Is it, how close is it to a home environment.
[speaker002:] Yes. That's right.
[speaker001:] That's the, that's probably the major question.
[speaker002:] I think that great strides are being made nowadays in, in caring for the elderly, you know, in several, in a,
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] in a whole lot of areas.
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] Just people are, of course, populations getting older.
[speaker001:] Yeah. You know it's, it's interesting that, that a lot, the population of the United States is changing because, you know, uh, now that so many more minorities, where they have had extended families for such a long time.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] Um, matter of fact in the United States we used to have extended families.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh,
[speaker001:] It wasn't,
[speaker002:] true.
[speaker001:] But, I guess as we become more industrialized and more, you know, less in a rural situation
[speaker002:] Yes, um.
[speaker001:] we, we don't, we, we, we choose not to deal with the,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] extended family
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] because we feel it's kind of cumbersome,
[speaker002:] That's right.
[speaker001:] when in reality it makes things much much easier.
[speaker002:] Sure. Absolutely. And,
[speaker001:] Uh.
[speaker002:] people, things are scattered so much nowadays.
[speaker001:] Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I think that perhaps, perhaps the extended family, you know, that it maybe one of the solutions to a lot of things even child care.
[speaker002:] Yes.
[speaker001:] You know I mean, of course there, there comes other issues, you know, whether or not any of the grandparents [LAUGHTER] whether we feel like are going to be a good, [LAUGHTER] they're going to be a good caretaker for our children.
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER] Yes,
[speaker001:] But,
[speaker002:] just because they're grandparents.
[speaker001:] I mean they raised us after all.
[speaker002:] Yeah. Just because they're grandparents that doesn't automatically make them a good child carer.
[speaker001:] Yeah. But, uh, I, I, I think that, you know, we always, uh, I mean, I've, I've had a lot of good experiences with, uh, with many many people especially where they've had, uh, extended family. And I, and I, I kind of see that, that, you know, perhaps, you know, we may need to like get close to the family environment and
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] and get down to the values of, you know, I mean, uh, it's, money seems to be too big of an issue.
[speaker002:] Oh, yeah.
[speaker001:] With,
[speaker002:] sure.
[speaker001:] with, with,
[speaker002:] realistically it is.
[speaker001:] with what's going on today and I, I think, I think that we may not, that may be, you know, perhaps if we put money on the back burner
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] that may, that may choose to alleviate a lot of the problem.
[speaker002:] That would,
[speaker001:] I mean,
[speaker002:] certainly help.
[speaker001:] I mean we may not, we may not have as high a standard of living
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] but the qua-, but actually have a truer standard of living.
[speaker002:] Right. That's just a matter of defining priorities, I guess
[speaker001:] Yeah. Yeah.
[speaker002:] or some priorities anyway.
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] I think your right.
[speaker001:] Okay. Well, I guess that was it [LAUGHTER].
[speaker002:] Okay. It was good talking to you.
[speaker001:] Okay.
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[speaker001:] All right.
[speaker002:] Take care.
[speaker001:] Hey.
[speaker002:] Bye-bye.
[speaker001:] Bye-bye.