[speaker001:] Okay, well the topic is selecting care for the elderly.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] And I don't have elderly parents, yet but not that far in the distant future. What about yourself?
[speaker002:] Well, my parents are both in their seventies. My, my mother and stepfather, and my father and stepmother are all in their seventies. And, my, uh, uh, father and stepmother are not in very good health. So this is something that is,
[speaker001:] A concern of yours right now.
[speaker002:] Yes, it is.
[speaker001:] Are, are they living independently, right now?
[speaker002:] Yes, they are.
[speaker001:] Oh.
[speaker002:] They are.
[speaker001:] Have you looked at any homes for them or talked to them about that?
[speaker002:] Not for them, my, my mother and stepfather have, have, uh, set up an arrangement where they have a large home and, uh, two of my sisters and, and their families, one of them's husband and then all the children are living in this home. Its got a lot of [LAUGHTER] bedrooms and bathrooms and, and, uh, they all share the same kitchen and dining room and den and kitchen. And, and, uh, my father bought this, uh, my stepfather bought this thinking of a time when one or the other of them might need care and they felt like that would be their alternative to a nursing home.
[speaker001:] Oh, that sounds the ultimate.
[speaker002:] Unless, unless they were so ill that they needed nursing care that could not be given in the home.
[speaker001:] Well, even at that point, most care can be given at, in the home. [NOISE] That sound like just an excellent solution. You must feel real good about that.
[speaker002:] Well, I, I felt good about it because that's my personal feeling also. I, uh, I read a lot and then I know people th-, then have visited nursing homes and, uh, have had great, grandparents in the nursing homes and it was not a happy situation for, for any of them. And, and, uh, we have a very active nursing home here in Plano that, that has, uh, activities going all the time and they have, uh, even the people that are wheelchair bound and, and really are, are ti-, ti-, incapacitated.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] Go and, uh, participate in olympics and they make their crafts and sell them at a big fair that's held annually at a big mall here [LAUGHTER].
[speaker001:] Right.
[speaker002:] You know, th-, so there are a lot of, a lot of activities going on all the time and this is a nursing home, it's not a senior citizens home. So that the people are really, uh,
[speaker001:] Really in need of a nursing home.
[speaker002:] Right. They need,
[speaker001:] Right, uh-huh.
[speaker002:] the nursing care, and, and, but it's a very expensive solution.
[speaker001:] Well, it's, you know, I think we just, you know, listen to, is the fact that there are good solutions both inside and outside of nursing homes. It's just a matter of finding,
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] a good home.
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] And, and then, of course, there is always the problem of being able, able to afford either of those solutions.
[speaker002:] Right. Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] And that, I think is what is scary, and I also feel that that's where some of the bad images of nursing homes come from. Is when people have to put people in a nursing homes and they really can not afford the best.
[speaker002:] Right. And that's right, I, well I took my husband one night to an emergency room when he was in an emergency situation and, uh, they brought in a very elderly man from a nursing home who had, had, uh, apparently inhaled some chicken he was eating.
[speaker001:] Oh.
[speaker002:] And, uh, he had apparently had not been in the home too long, just a week or so, but when they, the family came in to see him, they had not been made aware, I was in the room when the emergency technicians brought him in from the ambulance and I overheard their conversation. And when the family walked in, his wife and daughter and son-in-law, they were not even aware of what had happened.
[speaker001:] Oh, goodness.
[speaker002:] So, I told them he strangled on some chicken and, uh, they said, the, the woman, the wife said he was not even supposed to be eating any food like that that would require chewing or,
[speaker001:] Oh.
[speaker002:] so, you know, and I thought [sigh],
[speaker001:] What a shame, they put him in the home so that he could be cared for
[speaker002:] Right. Right.
[speaker001:] and then they could have done that well at home.
[speaker002:] And then she was upset, he had on two different shoes, one of which was not even his. He had on a pair,
[speaker001:] Oh.
[speaker002:] of slacks, and the wife said "these are not his slacks" and she said "I just took two pair over yesterday for him that were clean." And,
[speaker001:] You hear these stories,
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] all the time.
[speaker002:] Right. Well, I, this was just something that I was,
[speaker001:] You happened,
[speaker002:] I witnessed to.
[speaker001:] Right.
[speaker002:] And, and, uh, at no point did anybody from the nursing home come in. And we were there in the same room with the man for a half hour [LAUGHTER].
[speaker001:] Oh.
[speaker002:] And, with just a curtain, of course, between us and, and, uh,
[speaker001:] Right.
[speaker002:] th-, they re-, revived the man and cleared out his airway and so forth, and he was definitely, just by looking at him and the way he acted, you could tell he was in need of, of nursing home care, but the family were all talking about, uh, putting him in another home. They said he will not go back
[speaker001:] Well, good.
[speaker002:] to that one.
[speaker001:] Good, I'm glad they have a solution.
[speaker002:] I'm glad they the option.
[speaker001:] To do that, yes. I know.
[speaker002:] I, I would hate to be in a position where that was all I could afford and there were not, there was no choice.
[speaker001:] Exactly. My, uh, my ex-husband's grandmother had been in a nursing home now for, oh, it must be seven, eight years, and, uh, and, uh,
[speaker002:] Oh, my.
[speaker001:] It's just her, her condition deteriorated, deteriorated instantly upon getting into that home.
[speaker002:] Um.
[speaker001:] As the situation is so sad because it just takes all the dignity away from,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] from people who have been independent all their lives. Like this was a really neat vital woman and you get in a nursing home and the first thing that happens you have to share your, your whole living space,
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] with someone that you have never known before in your life.
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] And oh I, I do not know what the answer is, but I do know that there are some wonderful places out there and it, I think it does, a lot of it goes down to just money.
[speaker002:] That's right.
[speaker001:] And family support, uh, if you, you know, have family that, uh, you can live with.
[speaker002:] Visits everyday.
[speaker001:] Right.
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] Right. I, I really, I think the way of selecting a nursing home would be similar to the way you would select child care, you know. You would do your research and you would go visit.
[speaker002:] Visit, right.
[speaker001:] And, uh, hopefully, they would have, they would have it so that you could go there anytime.
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] Because if you could not go there anytime, then that would make you,
[speaker002:] Suspicious.
[speaker001:] a little bit su-, right.
[speaker002:] {D You know, I, I, my, I remember my, my grandmother many years ago when she was in a nursing home before she died and I guess there was not a name for what she had at that time, but I guess Alzheimer's would come as close as anything, she really was not aware of what she was doing.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] And, uh, I ca-, I can remember she had several strokes and the nursing home was right next to a hospital and they would rush her to the hospital and revive her and just bring her back to the nursing home in a couple of days. And it was, she was, it was just like keeping something.