[speaker001:] okay Amy uh what do you think about taking care of the elderly
[speaker002:] well I certainly um can appreciate the patience and the you know energy and money and time and effort it require would require for someone to you know take care of their elderly parent or whatever in their home
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] uh I think that you know would definitely be preferable if the person is you know able able to do that I think sometimes people take on I know I have one friend who is taken on more than she can handle you know with her her mom just needing constant supervision and for one person to be able to cope with that you know is really difficult but I know it's hard not to feel guilty you know to put somebody in a nursing home I if I suppose if you could find a nursing home that you thought really comfortable you know that they were getting adequate care but I think that's probably pretty hard to do at times
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker002:] I've not ever been put put in this position I personally would have a real hard time taking care of my father he's getting up there but he's very difficult to live with and I think that would be a real consideration in in um entering him into our family unit here you know
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] so there's a lot of factors involved
[speaker001:] what is the point at which you would go from home care to institutional care
[speaker002:] well I think I would in some ways have to decide how much personally you know I was able and willing to handle and how much it would affect you know the rest of my family because I have two small children
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] and um we don't have a real large house if you had a lot of money and you were able to you know have like a little separate wing or something where I wouldn't have to constantly be having my children you know be quiet and go away and that kind of thing to accommodate an elderly person
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] I think you know just the medical aspects too would be a big question how much um it would require you know in terms of nursing care at home and I know that there is uh often times insurance companies won't even pay you know and if they took families for doing things if if they were in a nursing home would cost you know a hundred times more so that's
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] that's a consideration too but I don't know it it would be a really rough choice to make you depending on the parent their personality and your own family and what's going on with I'm home all day anyway with the young kids but if I was working you know full time and had to give up a career that would be another you know problem too but
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] um the only people I've seen is my husband's grandmother has been in a nursing home for several years I know that uh there's been a lot of questions from other family members as to whether she's getting enough attention and whether they just kind of let her sit there and roll her over once in a while it it's really tragic to go in those places
[speaker001:] yeah what would you what would you look for in an institution
[speaker002:] so I don't know um I think I would uh look for a place that definitely had the physical attributes and it wasn't a sterile kind of environment but had a comfortable feeling to it that respected uh
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] that you seem to see some respect for peoples privacy and the attitude that the staff would have towards the patients and I was visiting a friend in the hospital and there was a nurse screaming at an older man who was there was a head injury unit and he had apparently wet his pants and they had a blanket draped over him and the blanket had either fallen to the floor or he had dropped it on the floor and the nurse was just screaming at him about how obscene that was or something and I just thought gosh if I walked into a place and I saw a staff member just berating or humiliating humiliating a patient I would definitely that would be something I'd really want to be on the look out for um
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] I would hope they would have uh some you consistent staff I know they don't pay that much in a lot of those places and so there's probably a lot of turnover that would be another thing that would be you know something to be important because I think it's confusing particularly if people are in some state of you know mental confusion anyway to have constant new people on staff and having to develop new relationships and
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] oh I don't know what else other than that maybe some place had activities you know that they could participate in instead of just kind of sitting there watching the wall or something you know talking to other people who had family members there see how responsive the staff was to
[speaker001:] right
[speaker002:] the things I brought up you know that I thought were important for my family member it it would really be hard because when we go to visit I'm sure places have you know their best foot forward kind of thing unless you drop in frequently and kind of get the since of what's going on behind the scenes it would really be hard to know it's kind of similar in away to some of the things you look for in going to try and find day care for your kids
[speaker001:] yeah uh-huh
[speaker002:] you know so uh I'm sure that if you have enough money you can find just super care but you know the cost of this probably just horrendous
[speaker001:] right would you consider a transitional institution such as one that allows the resident sort of like an apartment complex for elderly people
[speaker002:] yeah I think that would be great I I had wished often um with my husband's grandmother that she had been in a place like that because she had lived alone in an upper story of an apartment building away from even friends not really close by her or a grocery store or anything and I thought she could have lived a a lot longer if she had been in a place where she didn't have to climb up and down the stairs haul groceries and then she would have people to check on her and didn't have to cook because she just got to a point where she wouldn't cook just for herself and then she fell down and nobody knew about it for hours and hours and hours and
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] so I think that would be great if if you know if I had to choose a place for myself that's definitely why I think that kind of atmosphere would be wonderful even I recall where I was living in the college dormitory as a graduate student I thought how how neat you know that you can have a place where you can you know go down together and have dinner with other people because if your living alone the isolation and the depression and all those other factors should be taken into consideration too so I thought you know they should have dorms for older people they had activities going on all the time and you know it was really a much more comfortable lifestyle I could imagine for an older person so yeah I think that would be great if they had places like that
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] that's uh you know I hope if my my mother ever gets to the point where she can't take care of the home herself that she would consider uh the apartment type
[speaker002:] um-hum yeah
[speaker001:] setting you know from what I've seen with my grandmother grandmother who passed I don't know maybe ten or twelve years ago they had her in a setting like that where she was responsible to go to they had dinner in the cafeteria and she had her own little room it wasn't like she didn't have a stove or anything in her own apartment
[speaker002:] yeah they had their own privacy yeah
[speaker001:] yeah but you know she could walk to walk to the dinner hall and had games and stuff so it was sort of like a step between a
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] nursing home and a uh you know just a retirement village or whatever they're called those so I guess there's different levels you just have to be sure and match your loved one with that
[speaker002:] right yeah yeah I don't know you know how many of those there are but I definitely think it's a great idea to have that kind of thing you know for people I know that um in that way too that sometimes the elderly can be more involved with their families they can have their grandkids and that kind of thing over to spend the night or there's a lot more freedom I think
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] instead of just being kind of taken away from all of that and told where you're going to be and what you're going to do in a nursing home
[speaker001:] yeah it's she'll become uh
[speaker002:] so
[speaker001:] you know a bigger issue as you know the medical profession continues to you know increase longevity
[speaker002:] yeah yeah
[speaker001:] we're going to see you know geriatrics will be a a big part of the medical profession I think
[speaker002:] yeah yeah
[speaker001:] so
[speaker002:] let's hope it's true
[speaker001:] it's a lot to consider
[speaker002:] it is I've I've had had a lot of uh thought thought provoking conversations on the topics yeah
[speaker001:] yeah yeah I I guess I'm a big advocate of um decreased morbidity which is where the elderly person through I don't know a healthier lifestyle and exercise and eating right can
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] uh you know sustain them for longer periods of time
[speaker002:] right right well as the insurance companies get more into this preventative health care I think that will help it just seems very slow that that happening but uh yeah I definitely think that will help
[speaker001:] right yeah hopefully uh yeah the insurance companies will see the advantage of signing up a sixty year old for a uh you know exercise class or
[speaker002:] yeah yeah
[speaker001:] well uh it's been fun talking with you
[speaker002:] okay well take care thank you bye-bye
[speaker001:] all right bye