[speaker001:] to face the situation where you were looking at putting a loved one in the nursing home
[speaker002:] well I we're sort of in the middle of it um
[speaker001:] really
[speaker002:] last February we brought my mother from Florida to us here in Texas and so far she has been with us but I really look to the future that it may be occurring um I don't know what I'll do I I'm almost inclined to hire somebody um to be in our home with her rather than have to
[speaker001:] um-hum um-hum
[speaker002:] put her somewhere you know but
[speaker001:] uh-huh you don't feel as though that that's a decision you're comfortable with because
[speaker002:] well I think partly and it's not me it's the it seems to me the older generation my mother and father and my in-laws
[speaker001:] you'd be
[speaker002:] um you know the stigma used to be you went there and and you died and so they have all kind of
[speaker001:] you feel as though they are being abandoned if you leave them somewhere
[speaker002:] right you know it just um and you try and say you know they're nice now or or nicer and you know I wouldn't want her in one in Florida because I couldn't check on her but if she were in one near here I I would probably be there
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker002:] you know several times per week and I would
[speaker001:] sure
[speaker002:] stand up and scream if I saw things that were you know improper or or uh you know her care was not
[speaker001:] um-hum um-hum it's difficult boy I really
[speaker002:] have you had that experience yet
[speaker001:] can appreciate no I haven't but um
[speaker002:] well
[speaker001:] I I work in a hospital and we see patients
[speaker002:] oh
[speaker001:] whose families are just not able to care for them once they've left the hospital and so they have to make that decision often when the patient's still in the hospital
[speaker002:] right it's uh well my father died several years ago and that was you know he had cancer and eventually the hospital comes and says you know your father uh care you know Medicare says he doesn't need the level of care to be hospitalized so you are going to
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] eventually they'll come and tell you you will have two days to you know move him somewhere else and and that my mother and I needed to think what do we want to do at that point we did because he was
[speaker001:] so then you begin right
[speaker002:] not yet comatose but real close and he lived two weeks in the nursing home so we did do that but um at at that time three and a half years ago my mother was in such a
[speaker001:] um-hum um-hum
[speaker002:] state of depression I didn't think she could handle even if we had full time around the clock care I didn't think
[speaker001:] yes
[speaker002:] emotionally she could handle him being there it well it yes that too you you know there is no question that uh
[speaker001:] yes it's a challenging job physically
[speaker002:] just moving them about is um difficult but it really is and it's just uh and I have friends whose we're all in the age group where
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] were thinking about some of these things for our parents and it really is uh
[speaker001:] yes yes what are some of the things that you have looked for for example with your father what what helped you identify an appropriate placement was it was it geographic was it how close it was to you or
[speaker002:] with well of course this again was in Florida actually the level of care and in fact two that we looked at were you know they were all in mauve and blue and very elegant looking and
[speaker001:] oh that's right
[speaker002:] and so on but I didn't like the fact that they had you know eight patients for one uh you know nurse or one care giver and the one we selected was not nearly as
[speaker001:] care giver uh-huh
[speaker002:] uh up to date however it was clean and the patients were well cared for and I like it because it had a level of five to one and I felt that that would be
[speaker001:] yes
[speaker002:] better care for my father uh and but several of her neighbors and friends oh but you ought to I said I know but
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] we're making this decision and my mom basically let me make the decision so
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] um and she was pleased with it because he did get um you know just wonderful care
[speaker001:] that's a pretty important factor too that really influences the degree
[speaker002:] oh absolutely I don't care what you know one of these had a little ice cream parlor and I looked at the manager I said my father you know will never get out of a bed I don't care about a ice cream parlor you know if you went there and you were in your seventies and well you just went there to a you know retirement center yes you could do all that good stuff but this was
[speaker001:] more a transitional setting uh-huh
[speaker002:] I wanted him cared for and and not left uh you know if he spoiled his linens or something I did not want that
[speaker001:] exactly
[speaker002:] you know there what do you do in a hospital work with okay all right
[speaker001:] my job is as occupational therapist um a lot of what we are looking at are are skills that the person is gonna have to be able to perform to be able to live independently once they leave the hospital and we sometimes help the family make that decision if it looks like they're gonna be able to get in and out of bed or on and off the toilet with just a little bit of help then that's something that they can manage but you you're talking about an elderly spouse and when it involves quite a bit of assistance and lifting you don't want the other person
[speaker002:] right