[speaker001:] okay uh what do you feel about the nursing homes would you put an elderly relative in one
[speaker002:] um only if I had to
[speaker001:] that's the way I feel right now I'm uh concerned with both the sister-in-law and the and the mother that I'm uh uh you know one of them will said if anything happens send me there and the other one says please don't send me there
[speaker002:] yeah it's real hard on both the family and the people I mean
[speaker001:] yes yes it is it's hard my mother uh well I have four sisters or three sisters and my mother takes turn staying with us and you know she's getting to the point that that I'm worried about her needing more care than we can offer her
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] so uh she can't she it's hard for her to get up and down stairs and everything and I just think what are we going to do
[speaker002:] yeah well how old is she
[speaker001:] uh eighty five
[speaker002:] I see yeah well um would like if do you think you're gonna have to it's gonna come to that
[speaker001:] so I hope not I we will we will do everything in our power not for it to happen so I I'm hoping that we can take care of her till you know
[speaker002:] yeah I went through this with both my grandmothers we had to get someone to look after them but we were lucky and we found someone to look after them in their home we didn't have to put them in a home
[speaker001:] well mother uh mother lived about fifty miles from me and a hundred miles and five hundred miles from the other sisters and so if she if someone could've stayed close by she could've stayed in her home longer
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] but as it was uh she had to come and start living with us and and she gets more dependent all the time
[speaker002:] yeah well my great grandmother that we had to put in a nursing home because it got to where my grandmother couldn't take care of her she after they put her in there with I mean she deteriorated I mean her health really got worse after
[speaker001:] uh-huh oh I think that happens yeah I think they just give up then
[speaker002:] after she would yeah
[speaker001:] uh and another thing what what would you do if you had to what would you look for
[speaker002:] well that's um I guess references or whatever from other people first of all and then
[speaker001:] well
[speaker002:] I mean all the you'd have to check I think all the licensing that they go through
[speaker001:] um-hum and I would check on cleanliness and another thing I'd check on is the food
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] my sister-in-law was in in one and uh she just just had her hip replaced and so she just went to one you know for the little time for it to exercise and thing
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and they'd feed them really weird things like uh salad for breakfast and broccoli and she was she had her facilities about her and she didn't I mean she knew that they were doing it wrong
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] so I think they're
[speaker002:] yeah see that's what it is is most of the people are so old in there that they don't really know what's going on
[speaker001:] yes uh-huh
[speaker002:] and I think that they can get away with that
[speaker001:] yeah I think that's a problem too so
[speaker002:] you have to I think you have to really check into them real closely and then even after you put someone in there then you would wanna
[speaker001:] I do too and I
[speaker002:] be you know be able to check up on them on a weekly basis just to make sure that they were treating them properly
[speaker001:] um-hum um-hum well the one that I that I we would put my mother in would be about three miles from my home
[speaker002:] oh that wouldn't be too bad
[speaker001:] and so I would check her to I mean she was in there when she had her her hip replaced too and so I would check on her two or three times a day
[speaker002:] yeah it's a scary thought
[speaker001:] they it is it is and you just you know well it comes right down to it I think it'd be heartbreaking how old was your grandmother when you put her in
[speaker002:] yeah I think she was like my great grandmother was about she was I think ninety two
[speaker001:] your great grandmother oh my word and how old you have a longevity don't you in your family
[speaker002:] yeah one of my girlfriends her her great grandmother is a hundred and two but she still lives at home with her with her family or whatever
[speaker001:] uh-huh oh that's great yeah
[speaker002:] yeah no it's a it's a tough decision it's a tough decision to put to put them in there and then
[speaker001:] what oh it is and it and it you know it's a tough decision to take them into your home when you're used to your freedom
[speaker002:] um-hum but just it's a lot of responsibility
[speaker001:] yeah it is and and uh you know uh well it's just like having a child again do you have children oh
[speaker002:] no ma'am
[speaker001:] oh you're just a youngster then
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] oh oh well I don't think we've solved any great problems but I wish what
[speaker002:] no what um trying to think what else we went through oh and then the medication if they have to have medication that's another thing that that I mean
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] you never really know and you never really feel confident with anything unless you're actually doing it yourself and if they're at a home you don't know that they're being given their medicine
[speaker001:] right right and not and uh my mother's on insulin and I think you know just giving her the right amount checking her blood and giving her the right amount
[speaker002:] they
[speaker001:] and then again back to the food I think that they have uh if they don't eat if they don't eat by themselves or if they don't want like what's that served that day they don't eat it and I think a lot of them starve to death
[speaker002:] um-hum yeah
[speaker001:] they just wither away and
[speaker002:] well it's kind of like you know you put them in there someone else so someone else can take care of them and then you really wonder you can't feel really confident that they're being taken care of
[speaker001:] no no I don't I I just think the solution if every but a lot of people can't either can't take care of them at home
[speaker002:] what hum-um
[speaker001:] you know if you're working and I I think the ideal situation is like with your grandmother have someone come into their home and live with them and take care of them and a lot of people like to do that
[speaker002:] yeah yeah