[speaker001:] so um you said you don't have kids but um you're interested in the topic
[speaker002:] well yeah and um actually I'm very interested we are my husband and I are thinking very soon um about having children and I think that I am just um a little bit uh brainwashed or whatever by just thinking that kids are so wonderful and cute and I can't wait to have one and I don't see the real responsibility of it
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] um and an actually how dramatically your life can change when you do have children
[speaker001:] right
[speaker002:] do you have kids
[speaker001:] yes yes I have one son who's now uh eighteen and he's a sophomore in college
[speaker002:] oh oh wow
[speaker001:] and it it does but I was very lucky in that I was um teaching at a university and so basically and lived within walking distance
[speaker002:] oh
[speaker001:] so I was able when he was little just to um leave him with a neighbor in uh one of these carry cots
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and then go up and teach a class and come back
[speaker002:] wow
[speaker001:] because I could do my work at home and my my students who were working on their master's degrees and stuff would come to my house and I would meet with them there
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum
[speaker001:] so it was really ideal and then later on um when he was gee maybe two and three I actually took him then I changed to a different school but it was still within walking distance
[speaker002:] oh that's great
[speaker001:] and um he spent a lot of time in my office because I was uh department chairman
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and um you know really didn't interfere because all his life he had sort of been used to there were quiet times
[speaker002:] uh-huh yeah
[speaker001:] and so and that worked out great
[speaker002:] that's wonderful how is it now I imagine you said he's a sophomore
[speaker001:] yes
[speaker002:] so this is is he living at home
[speaker001:] yes he's commuting it's um about gee he commutes forty five minutes a each way but he has to allow an hour and a half going to school because it's too too chancy for him to miss classes
[speaker002:] um-hum but oh really
[speaker001:] and so actually we don't I mean we still spend a lot of time together in the sense that we are always together for dinner and and um then you know he's in the house studying in the evening
[speaker002:] uh-hum
[speaker001:] and he also works and so um he usually calls me
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum
[speaker001:] at when he gets home from school at noon I mean not not checking in but more gee you know missed you you know what with this is what's new type of thing and I think we have a very good relationship from that standpoint but I think it's
[speaker002:] uh-huh um-hum yeah
[speaker001:] unusual and I think part of it is that that we were abroad for a good part of the time
[speaker002:] that's great oh really
[speaker001:] until till um six years ago
[speaker002:] where what part of Europe
[speaker001:] well I was actually in the Middle East
[speaker002:] oh my goodness
[speaker001:] so
[speaker002:] oh how nice was he raised bilingual as a bilingual was he bilingual yeah
[speaker001:] yeah bilingual yes yeah actually um he he was more in a sense raised trilingual in that I spoke Spanish to him when he was a baby
[speaker002:] oh my goodness
[speaker001:] and then but he always answered in Arabic because he heard more Arabic than Spanish
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and then when we first came to visit my mother he picked up English when he was two and a half
[speaker002:] oh my gosh
[speaker001:] and he had heard me talk English on the phone but you know he hadn't he really didn't use it
[speaker002:] uh-huh that is wonderful boy I I
[speaker001:] so
[speaker002:] I am Arabic actually my background is um my my grandparents are from Syria
[speaker001:] oh where are you from oh okay
[speaker002:] and um I wish that my parents had taught me Arabic when I was younger it was really a sort of the taboo language
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] when I was little um you know there was the whole and and there still is
[speaker001:] cause you they were newly in this country
[speaker002:] well my parents were born here my grandparents moved here um
[speaker001:] ah um-hum
[speaker002:] and then had my parents shortly after they moved here
[speaker001:] where were they where they what village
[speaker002:] in Damascus
[speaker001:] oh from Damascus okay
[speaker002:] um-hum from Damascus all of them actually
[speaker001:] oh okay
[speaker002:] and um I just I think it's a real shame because now I don't have the patience and I don't have the ability you know at my age to start learning a foreign language
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] but when you're a kid you just pick it up so naturally
[speaker001:] yeah but see there's a big big issue there because my my family spoke German at home so that we couldn't understand
[speaker002:] um-hum oh really
[speaker001:] and and my um nieces and nephews are not learning their mother's language
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] so that I think this is a a tendency in the States is because it's a melting pot so I think my son had the advantage of we were actually living outside the country
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] so there was a reason for him to learn it
[speaker002:] yeah um-hum that's true
[speaker001:] yeah it's really hard
[speaker002:] yeah do you think that your being in academics um helped your son he sounds like he is very responsible and um you know seems to be concerned about his studies
[speaker001:] well I'm not so sure that it's the the academics as much as spending time with him
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and I've been concerned in the States since I've been back with the number particularly in the Washington area where I live now
[speaker002:] um-hum oh
[speaker001:] um with a seeing how many kids come home to empty houses and like in our court we live in our townhouse court
[speaker002:] yeah um-hum
[speaker001:] and there's seven year olds that come home and they're locked out
[speaker002:] oh jeez
[speaker001:] and you know some of the neighbors sort of feel sorry sorry for them and and you know would be very responsible if something happened but the parents aren't willing to to pay that person to sort of be in charge and and I think this is
[speaker002:] yeah um-hum
[speaker001:] I you know I've just seen so much of it here in this country that you wouldn't see in in certainly not in the Arab culture I mean
[speaker002:] uh-huh yeah oh no that for sure
[speaker001:] people people are more important than things so
[speaker002:] and then everyone wonders why why like you said that seven year old you know why two months from now he's on drugs or something
[speaker001:] he's a terror well he's a terror he just you know climbs on cars walks around the court threatening people with sticks
[speaker002:] oh really oh jeez oh well he has no discipline I mean no one is there to tell him what's right and what's wrong
[speaker001:] yeah it right now would you continue do you work now
[speaker002:] yes I do I work full time and my husband actually is going for his PhD and uh would like to teach
[speaker001:] oh uh-huh
[speaker002:] and be a professor um hopefully somewhere in the south I I I'm from Boston and I I'm fed up with the cold weather really between Boston and Rochester
[speaker001:] um-hum um-hum
[speaker002:] but um ideally I would um I want to have a child and I'd like to be able to be home for a year
[speaker001:] right
[speaker002:] and I really just selfishly don't want to miss that
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] and um you know my husband's schedule hopefully will be flexible um in that he could do a lot of his work at home
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and um I'm not sure I I still want to work I think that's very important
[speaker001:] right
[speaker002:] to keep that up and I don't want to um you know I don't want to go several years without working outside the house
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] but um but I think that him being um a little bit more flexible with his schedule will really help us out a lot
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] so that that's nice thing about teaching
[speaker001:] right right that you he'll be able to spend more time which is so important
[speaker002:] right and I imagine that obviously your summers were a lot lighter as far as work load
[speaker001:] right actually we traveled extensively because I was doing archeology and so
[speaker002:] oh oh wow
[speaker001:] you know he was always able to come with me on all my travels because a lot of the places I went by car of course
[speaker002:] um-hum oh sure
[speaker001:] and I mean you know I was living in the middle of it and I took every advantage and and you know he doesn't dislike travel now he might not like it
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] uh you know he might not feel compelled to travel because he has seen a lot but he's very comfortable traveling
[speaker002:] right uh-huh um-hum
[speaker001:] and so
[speaker002:] well he has done more and seen more than most people do in a lifetime it sounds like that's wonderful and it it sounds like he really appreciates it too
[speaker001:] that's right that's right right you know that that remains to be seen but yes I think so I think so
[speaker002:] that's great
[speaker001:] so
[speaker002:] does he have a girlfriend oh
[speaker001:] no no and and and I find that interesting because he's been two years ahead in the schools here
[speaker002:] oh wow
[speaker001:] and so he always you know was treated like little brother when the band needed transportation they'd say oh he can't drive so
[speaker002:] ah
[speaker001:] you know when he's a senior he can drive some of the the younger kids around type of thing
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and he didn't he didn't get his license I mean he was just sixteen when he graduated from high school so
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] you know he he has friends but he doesn't have any you know he hasn't really gotten into the social thing
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] and he's I think that's all right he's going to it looks like finish his degree first before he gets too involved
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum well that's a good idea
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] you know it's it's I would love when I was little I had friends and they had enormous families and I would love to have a large family it seems so expensive though to think about raising a child besides just the the essentials you know clothes and food and this and that
[speaker001:] right
[speaker002:] I really feel like there's this whole um you know you have to keep up with the Jones or whatever they say and uh you know it just seem like when I you know watch
[speaker001:] that's right but you don't have to keep up I mean kids appreciate it more if you don't
[speaker002:] really
[speaker001:] I think if if things are special and are for them they see that their kids are being bought
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] that their friends are being bought by their parents
[speaker002:] yeah well I hope so I mean I look at these toys on TV and I just think oh my God they didn't have those when I was little
[speaker001:] uh-huh and they don't need them and they don't even appreciate them
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] I mean that's my feeling I think you know from what I see a lot of people just
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] it's a token you know you don't have me so you have all these material things
[speaker002:] um-hum yeah that's true well it's interesting well I don't know I think I'm ready for it a couple of years we got married a couple of years ago and I thought oh my God I'll never be ready for a kid
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] but I I definitely think I am now
[speaker001:] oh very good and it sounds like you have good values and
[speaker002:] yeah