[speaker001:] hi Pat
[speaker002:] hi one of the interesting things that I have considered about the role change for women is that women of my age my generation were trained and taught and brought up to be the Leave It to Beaver housewives but we are not living in that world
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh we are certainly not our families have changed
[speaker002:] uh-huh families uh-huh oh yeah sure
[speaker001:] society has changed everything has changed yeah yeah
[speaker002:] uh-huh that's one of the and it makes you really concerned I am glad I raised guys you know let the world train them what to do
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] but characteristically you know the women are trained or have been in the past trained in the home
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] and I really would be at a loss to to raise and train a girl I think I would
[speaker001:] yeah it's well even even raising boys today is different though because they are expected to do so much more than they used to you know used to be they would just go off to work and come home and you know everything was done and it it's a different world
[speaker002:] oh sure uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker001:] it's some good some bad uh
[speaker002:] oh sure uh-huh
[speaker001:] it's nice that there's a choice I I have chosen to stay at home and raise my children and I have a ten year old and a twelve year old
[speaker002:] uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker001:] and I was a single parent for awhile and worked
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] and that was great I was able to and I was able to provide for my children and and you know that was wonderful
[speaker002:] uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker001:] but I um I thank God everyday now that I have that choice and that I am able to do things at home and and uh I volunteer a whole lot
[speaker002:] sure uh-huh
[speaker001:] and uh that's my job right now and I I love it I really love it
[speaker002:] uh-huh oh yeah I did very much the same thing until my boys got into high school and said mom please do not be involved
[speaker001:] right right
[speaker002:] then I went back to work
[speaker001:] right and that will come I know that day will come and I am looking forward to that too but that's a different phase in my life and I am I am glad that I am able to do what I want to do right now
[speaker002:] yeah sure right right well you know there's a lot of things that have happened actually and and it's it's it's like the it's like oil on top of water it changes but it's never different in a lot of ways
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker002:] uh women at one time did very heavy physical labor
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] and were expected to maintain a household
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] then as times changed uh as it is today we do not do a lot of physical labor even in house even in housekeeping and homemaking there's not a lot of physical labor because there are
[speaker001:] uh-huh right right right you are not beating rugs you are not right doing laundry by hand and that kind of thing
[speaker002:] uh-huh right and in that respect we have to make ourselves become involved in physical exertion or we really do develop some health problems
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker002:] so in in that in that respect I am not so sure that the hard work of years past was not better for us than we are willing to admit
[speaker001:] yeah yeah
[speaker002:] and uh
[speaker001:] but don't you think it's that way with men too I mean you know men are sitting behind desks a whole lot more
[speaker002:] oh absolutely true it's that's true with society in general
[speaker001:] than they used to yeah yeah
[speaker002:] but specifically the woman's role in society has changed and you know medical medical reports tell us that women are developing
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] diseases now that used to be predominately male diseases heart disease was characteristic of men now there's almost equally predominant in women
[speaker001:] right right right right
[speaker002:] and I
[speaker001:] and stress disorders and things like that uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker002:] uh-huh uh-huh right and I think that that's a that's a symptom of our society it's a symptom that there's there's a general illness that needs to be healed
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] I do not know what the healing process would be or what was causing the problem I am not I am not God
[speaker001:] yeah yeah
[speaker002:] but I I do know that in raising my boys I really did meet a lot of pressures saying you know you need to get them into music lessons you need to get them into sports you need to get them into this they need to be busy and they need to be active
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker002:] and I fought all of those things I said if those boys want to be involved in that they will come to me and they will say mom this is important to me I want to do it otherwise I will guard their ability to have quiet time
[speaker001:] right right you know it's funny
[speaker002:] I refused to cram their lives full and that's the way it is with a woman too
[speaker001:] yeah yeah it's funny it's funny I was really I was really looking forward to summer thinking oh we are going to have some time off and it's been real busy and actually today is really the first as far as I am concerned the first day of summer
[speaker002:] uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker001:] because we have had so much going on the past few weeks
[speaker002:] uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker001:] and uh you are right uh well that's how society has changed uh you know uh
[speaker002:] uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker001:] the family has changed we you know we find ourselves doing things that we never did as kids
[speaker002:] uh-huh uh-huh well
[speaker001:] you know I do not remember being involved in things like this it's it's different it's just
[speaker002:] uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker001:] it's just I do not know only time will tell whether it's better or worse than the way we grew up but uh it's it's just very different um
[speaker002:] uh-huh of course uh-huh well I just am very much a believer in quiet personal time if you do not have the time to talk to yourself who are you going to talk to right
[speaker001:] yeah yeah yeah
[speaker002:] and I guarded my children's rights for that and I think that that's one of the things that women are sacrificing that they should not do
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] they are sacrificing their time with themselves there's nothing wrong with sitting and being bored if you thinking internally and you are working on your own self you are finding out who you are
[speaker001:] right right r ight but is not that difficult to do when you are working full time and have to come home and prepare a meal and get homework done and you know where do you find the time
[speaker002:] well I think um well in the first place it's not your homework it's your children's homework
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] and I was always very careful to be there only when they came to me and asked me for help I helped them with exactly what they asked for and that's all
[speaker001:] uh-huh yeah
[speaker002:] that's a part of the problem that women have always had and that is accepting responsibility for things that really are other people's responsibilities
[speaker001:] that's very true and then that way we have not changed in hundreds of years have we yeah
[speaker002:] they they that's right that way husbands are crippled
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] they are intellectual cripples and so are children they do not know how to think for themselves and be responsible for themselves
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker002:] for themselves I do not know why God made women brilliant I
[speaker001:] didn't he though
[speaker002:] yes but I do not know they tend to look at the mother as the one who solves all problems they are all things to all people and that's never changed
[speaker001:] that's very true that's that's very true I as a matter of fact I was talking to a friend yesterday who said she has a new policy in her home and when her her family comes to her and says fix this you know I am having a problem with you know another member of the family she said I have taken a new stance and I say no I will not you know you work it out for yourself
[speaker002:] uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker001:] and she said it's amazing she said you know every single person in this family expects me to get and they drain suck me into these arguments and these conversations and I have I am supposed to be
[speaker002:] uh-huh that's right
[speaker001:] the one who is going to fix it all and and soothe everybody and she said I am not doing it anymore I I just
[speaker002:] uh-huh you know I think that's one of the things that we have today that is very useful and I think every woman ought to deal with it or ought to at least be exposed to it and that is mediation training
[speaker001:] um uh-huh
[speaker002:] uh we are not talking about strikes or things we are talking about mediators who get involved in family crises parents and children husbands and wives uh you know boss and employee those kinds of things
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker002:] interpersonal mediation because the mediator is an unbiased bystander who
[speaker001:] yeah yeah