[speaker001:] so well you're you're you're you you take this subject much more personally than I do I suppose
[speaker002:] I suppose I do because I've seen a lot of those changes the the changes that women have had in the last generation well you know not even the last generation the last fifteen years twenty years going from well
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] take it back thirty years I'm going back too far from my parents' generation when mom stayed home
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] period and and there was no such thing as a job or any hope of a job until well unless if you were educated you got you know you might teach for a year or two before you got married
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] and if you really pushed it you taught until you had kids or something you know if you had if you were a teacher then you know that was it
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] until the kids you were little
[speaker001:] yeah you you weren't supposed to want a job
[speaker002:] yes there was not there's not supposed to be any reason to use this education or this brain that you might have for anything other than your house and your children and how clean can the the bathroom floors be on any given day
[speaker001:] um-hum yeah
[speaker002:] and then and then of course today it's supposed to be all the other way you're supposed to only want the job and and uh your kids should be totally happy in day care because everybody else goes to day care and and we have these wonderful people who are
[speaker001:] yeah um-hum
[speaker002:] who are totally prepared to teach to teach your child everything they need to know in day care and
[speaker001:] yeah but but
[speaker002:] and uh we'll see how the generations go huh
[speaker001:] but uh a really good day care is probably going to cost more than you're going to make at the job
[speaker002:] yeah I at least for a lot of women depending on on what she did I've I was an engineer with uh
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] mechanical engineer with T I and uh I did it for six years and for one well I had one while I was pregnant and then one while my oldest was a year old and and it just drove me crazy
[speaker001:] did you
[speaker002:] I could not do either well enough I couldn't put in enough overtime that was necessary or that you know things that would come up at work that would require me to stay late or to come in early or to do something on Saturdays
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] as is you know as is needed and because my husband had had for a long time was out of the country
[speaker001:] oh yeah
[speaker002:] also with uh with work for like three months and and
[speaker001:] so it was you and the kid and your work schedule is well that's the thing see you know maybe if you get along for example if you'd been a technician instead of an engineer you know the technicians work the eight to five job and and know when they're going to be there
[speaker002:] yeah yeah it might have been better yeah
[speaker001:] but uh if you're going to be more professional professional oriented then you've got to have this to be able to perform well on the job you've got to have the flexibility that that doesn't really go with the family
[speaker002:] yeah and so it was in my case I I just uh decided that as long as my kids were little I would be better off at home with them instead of driving myself crazy trying to do everything at once
[speaker001:] um-hum so you figure one of these days you're going to go back to being an engineer is that what you think
[speaker002:] well actually I've found out that I'm not going to go back to being an engineer I'm I'm I'm a photographer now
[speaker001:] oh yeah oh okay you've found something else
[speaker002:] I have I have branched out I was a photographer before but when I went to college it was I felt like I couldn't support myself if I decided to be a photographer
[speaker001:] um-hum yeah
[speaker002:] that it would just have to be a hobby and I'm I'm very mechanical and mechanical engineering interested me so I did that and then I you know I did that for six years and then I stayed home with my son and did nothing and found out that I was that you know it was great but I was bored part of the time too and I wanted something else
[speaker001:] yeah yeah I mean you figure there's got to be more to life than sitting here playing with this child
[speaker002:] to do yeah and it's it's great while they're really little but as they get older
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and they're more independent and there's things to do then it's good for them to go to different I mean it he goes to a a mother's day out program now once a week both of my kids do
[speaker001:] yeah um-hum
[speaker002:] and so they're getting they they get the socialization with other kids and you you know and not really school but but a different authority than mom once in a while you know and kind of learning how to deal with society
[speaker001:] yeah and and they they need that you know to be able to relate to other people besides
[speaker002:] yeah I think they do too
[speaker001:] the same person every day
[speaker002:] and I need it for the break so
[speaker001:] yeah well that's the other thing you know they talk about women leaving the home and going out to work well still taking care of the children is a very important job and and someone's got to do it and be able to do it right and
[speaker002:] um-hum and enjoy it that's that's the whole thing
[speaker001:] and if it's not if it's not mom then then dad or somebody's got to move in there and do the job because the kids really need it
[speaker002:] yeah yeah I think that's the thing that were going to see well I think the biggest thing we're going to see coming up in the next ten years even in the even now they're starting to do it but I think it's going to be more in the next ten to fifteen years is that there's going to be a lot of women and they're going to have to work it out to working part time
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] because if if I if I had been allowed to work you know maybe thirty hours a week instead of fifty hours a week I might still be working basically full time or part time if there was if there had been some way to work it out because I liked my job really well but I was just pulled in so many different directions I was it was just driving me crazy
[speaker001:] yeah um-hum
[speaker002:] and now with the photography that's you know it's working that's what I'm doing is working part time because I can put my kids in a day care situation for a few hours in the uh week and and use those hours to do the the thing that I'm doing is taking school pictures
[speaker001:] yeah uh-huh
[speaker002:] in day cares and in mother's day out programs and also soccer teams and you know different stuff like that so my kids
[speaker001:] yeah um-hum
[speaker002:] can be in day care for a few hours a week or my husband if it's you know and and when he's at home can take care of them
[speaker001:] yeah so jobs have to I guess become more flexible
[speaker002:] I think they're really going to have to and not and not just for mothers for fathers as well
[speaker001:] um-hum yeah
[speaker002:] it's going to have to be both
[speaker001:] well so so that's another thing that has to adapt is you know the the the father's attitudes about you know whose whose job is this
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] well it's it's his job too and I to me the only important issue is the children because as far as housework goes you know men can do housework just as easily as women and thanks to a lot of new inventions housework doesn't take as much time as it used to so uh
[speaker002:] you know it's just convincing your husband that's important or that that that it's important enough for him to do it because if he saw mom
[speaker001:] to me yeah to yeah to me yeah well
[speaker002:] doing only that you know all the time he was growing up then it's hard to think of it
[speaker001:] um-hum yeah
[speaker002:] in that other you know uh that I should do it or that or just to think about doing it rat her than having someone tell him to do it I know that was a big thing in our house for a long time was that if I wanted my husband to do something to help
[speaker001:] and you you you yeah you talk yeah yeah um-hum
[speaker002:] and even though we were both working the same number of hours and and doing things I had to come in there specifically and say this needs to be done this is what you do it now no
[speaker001:] yeah and and a man might say out loud well you know I understand this and I agree but still he was raised with a mom taking care of him and and that's a very hard attitude to change
[speaker002:] yes and yeah and without and and it's just they don't look at things most men don't walk into the kitchen and see that the dishes are there and that yes you probably ought to unload the dishwasher and load the new ones in and run it
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] they just you know just kind of scoot it on another spot on the on the sink and and put the next plate down and and in a while get around to it and I think most women walk in and and and with oh got to clean all this up got to get this out and this in and this you know taken care of instead of having someone say now this needs to be done this is the time this needs to be done but
[speaker001:] hm uh um-hum yeah and a lot of that is is how it was drilled into you when you were a kid which brings us back to the idea you know someone's got to be there taking care of the kids to drill in these you know drill in the right ideas
[speaker002:] that's right yeah um-hum yeah
[speaker001:] to so that they know that uh you know male and female are both responsible for doing this and
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and uh
[speaker002:] and I think that's that's going to show up a lot more now in the in the next generation of of boys and girls it's not they're not going to the boys in this next generation are not going to have to be told as much
[speaker001:] uh-huh um-hum
[speaker002:] this needs to be done because mom was there saying that dad is there you know you both got to they were both working at whatever things were
[speaker001:] yeah yeah
[speaker002:] needed to be done they're going to say to the kids you need do this because it needs to be done not because it's a woman's job or a man's job but because it's dirty and it needs to be cleaned
[speaker001:] um-hum yeah um-hum yeah but I think in between we got a a group of kids a generation of kids who didn't learn to take responsibility because mom left to go get a job and dad didn't move in to fill the gap and so basically no one was taking the responsibility and I I think that's happened in a lot of cases
[speaker002:] and it's gonna it's gonna yeah some kids are really having it If they'd been in day care the entire time and it wasn't yeah the ones that are now getting to be teenagers and in some cases young college
[speaker001:] yeah um-hum um you know some time day care is really good but sometimes it's just it's baby sitting it's someone you know keeping an eye on the kids but the kids are basically doing what they want and not really having any
[speaker002:] yeah yeah yeah
[speaker001:] relationship with the adults to say you know here's what's right and here's what's wrong and and here's what we expect of you
[speaker002:] yeah I think that was one of the main reasons that I quit was because I wanted my kids to have my values and I felt like when they were young that was the time to instill it that it could be it could be added to and strengthened as they grew older but when they were little
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] you know this is the way I feel about this and this is the way because I it's you know when you when you if you if you teach them when they're little the way you want them to be and the things that are important to you then you just you add onto it as they get older
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] but if no one does anything when they're little then it's twice as hard as I think as they get older
[speaker001:] yeah I'm I'm saying this as I'm trying to keep my nine month old from trashing something
[speaker002:] yes I understand I I wait until I put mine in bed before I make my calls
[speaker001:] yeah well she's usually in bed by this time but she's staying up late tonight but yeah you know I want to I want to have a relationship with her you know my my dad was a very traditional dad and when I was a child I didn't really know my dad very well and I miss that
[speaker002:] yeah that's the thing if woman's role like we said if women's roles change drastically men's roles will too and a lot of it's for the better some of the some of the women's roles I think are almost for the worse because we're losing out on some things going back to work
[speaker001:] and I want yeah the men have to be convinced of that
[speaker002:] but I think if we can if we can expand the men's roles at the same time like your taking care of your child and your dad probably didn't very often I know I know mine almost never did
[speaker001:] no