[speaker002:] I uh I have not like I was saying I haven't I have not had to make the decision for uh regarding uh care for anyone of my family members however I've had quite a few friends that have had to make that decision
[speaker001:] well see I don't have a relative that's made it over sixty one uh-huh
[speaker002:] oh really
[speaker001:] but my children's on their father's side have them up into the nineties
[speaker002:] man yeah
[speaker001:] but uh  the only time we came close and we started looking into it was when my grandmother became senile she start senile at fifty
[speaker002:] huh
[speaker001:] and at that time the homes that we were looking for when I was a kid uh my mother I can remember them arguing they couldn't find one that it was either clean enough or they took enough care or there was one thing or another that continuously arguing about it
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] and they ended up keeping her from relative to relative and of course she died when she was fifty nine so it wasn't that long
[speaker002:] uh-huh it's a
[speaker001:] the few I've been in they have varied tremendous
[speaker002:] uh-huh yeah I think there's there's so many that are uh that are you know retirement homes
[speaker001:] so uh
[speaker002:] that are geared toward the ambulatory person you know the ambulatory person that is still extremely active and just wishes not to have to live alone you know separate any longer and then there are the uh the nursing homes which actually provide you know nursing care I guess it goes there's a wide range
[speaker001:] oh well we were talking about it the other day because a girl at work has got that problem right now
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] and uh she keeps saying she's never going to put her mother in one and I says hey look go around look at them they're totally different than your concept concept of what it was years ago
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] and I says I don't know what condition your mother's in which I didn't
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] but you do have the choice now and I says what is your mother going to do all day long while you're out here at work
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] I says think about what she would like to have because a lot of them hey they might be bedridden but at least they've got company and people their own age to talk to
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] to keep them home what do you've got
[speaker002:] that's right
[speaker001:] they're sitting there like they're they vegetate is what happens
[speaker002:] that's true that's that's what I would be afraid of I would rather personally I would rather be in a community of other people with a greater chance of having similar interest with them rather than being stuck in a home where I mean if you if you couldn't drive I guess I mean if you're no longer have the the freedom of driving
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] then it it changes it so drastically because you can't go someplace to do something when you want to you have you are totally dependent on someone else to provide all your entertainment for you and that would I don't think I would like that I think I would rather if I where in that situation I think I would rather live in a in a nursing home situation
[speaker001:] see you're not aware of the the horror stories and things like that that I've grown up with
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] and I mean I'm talking about horror stories and they're still out there I mean it's it's not something that's eliminated eliminated been eliminated
[speaker002:] no
[speaker001:] there are lots of homes out there that just literally people drop them off forget about them and they change hands I mean I'm not saying they don't investigate they investigate it's great when they're there but unless they keep current with it and they changes hands it goes either direction
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] because
[speaker002:] yeah that's true
[speaker001:] they're relying on a lot of people that hey they're like any other business if you lose a lot of your customers they get into a financial bind
[speaker002:] that's true
[speaker001:] and people say well you know they're a nursing home but the hey it doesn't work that way they're a business
[speaker002:] that's true and and the the nurses that they hire are frequently not um the most qualified in their field and uh
[speaker001:] well like my neighbor she runs down here to this nursing home down here
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and she just point blank's tired the pressure and responsibility of working as a nurse in a hospital
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] she admits it she's tired of it so she works down here she's a nurse she's qualified
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] but she's fifty oh she's in her fifties early fifties somewhere and working down here at the nursing home keeps her hand in there she gets good money for it and she enjoys the old people you know it's it's just that simple for her
[speaker002:] uh-huh yeah
[speaker001:] but uh she says it's hard they get cranky they get obstinate but she feels the same way I do I would rather depending on the situation I would rather be able to put myself or anybody else in a nursing home if I was able to get close enough to them
[speaker002:] right
[speaker001:] so they don't feel lost
[speaker002:] right I think
[speaker001:] now see my grandmother she wouldn't go in a nursing home besides being scared and everybody else didn't want her she was terrified of one literally and positively terrified
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] because she remembers the old stuff
[speaker002:] uh-huh my great grandmother was and she was she was terrified that some day someone might try to put her in a nursing home she even wrote a song about it she used to sing but
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker002:] I mean she she died when she was ninety six and uh from a fall I mean she didn't die of natural causes she died from a fall she uh you know had she been younger it would not she would not have died from the fall but she uh you know and she was still she was still household independent she was independent in the household you know in the home and she couldn't drive but heck but she'd never learned to drive to begin with so I mean it wasn't um her age that had prevented her but she was she was very afraid that someone would try to put her in a nursing home and she lived with her daughter my grandmother until she died and uh my grandmother still at seventy uh she's seventy nine this year uh is living independently and she drives just to church and back and to and to the store you know all there right in just a block or two but she's still real independent so
[speaker001:] oh she drives yeah
[speaker002:] I think that for so many people that uh the nursing home represent obviously different uh different things and depending on the level of function whereas my you know my grandmother doesn't need need any extra uh camaraderie or anything like that because she gets it from her church or from her friends that come by but uh I've seen a lot of people that don't live near their family or don't have you know significant roots in this in their little community they've been uprooted for some reason or another and they I I think that it would be good for them to be into a situation that would offer them uh oh activities to maintain an active mind because like you say if you just put them in the house and keep them there all day long and they they become they vegetate and that's
[speaker001:] oh yeah they've got nothing or they get on the telephone all day long but I mean this is one area where I'd like to see social security or the government step in an d take people over a certain age or with handicaps or something and take their social security away from them I mean give them you know money at a certain point and putting them in homes to where they can get something fed back to them in other words people talk to and become still human beings
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] because you see people down in south Dallas and every where else sitting in a house they don't know anybody they're scared to death of robbers they're scared to death of everything
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] they hardly have enough food to even eat on I meant they're not living
[speaker002:] and that's not living right right exactly exactly
[speaker001:] yeah I mean hey I'm putting all this money out to the government why can't they put it out there rather than in the federal prisons um
[speaker002:] yeah they
[speaker001:] but you know you see pictures on TV I mean I wish I had enough money to go down there and do something but you know I don't know they if they can have day care why can't they put elderly people care and put them in a home to where it's regulated
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] I mean it's it's a shame that we have this to where it's we don't think of our older people we really don't
[speaker002:] oh no I mean look at the uh Orientals they protect respect uh they conserve their elderly for for what they are they're a true natural resource and they cherish them and uh yet I mean we as Americans are such a throw away society that we've basically done that with generations of people that have so called outlived their usefulness you know I I think that's uh an atrocity and I'm fortunate enough that I've had uh my relatives have lived very long full lives and uh or most of them have and as a result I have uh I've been you know