[speaker001:] right okay
[speaker002:] yes
[speaker001:] how many kids do you have
[speaker002:] I think we I think we're going to talk about parents spending time with their children we have three children who are eleven nine and eight
[speaker001:] right
[speaker002:] so this is a big issue with us although I don't recall marking it on my little things to talk about but perhaps they are looking for uh words to be said like day care and quality time and
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] anyway you don't have children
[speaker001:] no
[speaker002:] but you're married
[speaker001:] yeah we we been married for two and a half years we've been trying for about two years but no luck yet hopefully
[speaker002:] oh you know I know we're not supposed to do this long distance but actually I'm getting a call I wonder if I could possibly take it on call waiting could I ask you to hold one minute I'll be right back excuse me just a moment they're gonna get mad
[speaker001:] uh-huh had  she has three kids eleven nine and eight
[speaker002:] hello I'm so sorry that was my daughter's Brownie leader telling me that there is a meeting tomorrow Brownie meeting
[speaker001:] uh-huh it's all right okay so it keeps you busy do you have a lot of activities with your kids
[speaker002:] well I don't wanna I don't want this to be a unilateral conversation but yes we do both my husband and I work and our children are sixth fourth and third grade and the school years are wonderful they're just wonderful the kids they're real people and they're interesting and they they have all their own activities and um
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] I think as parents we really enjoy them and in our own personal situation our children have not yet decided to rebel I'm sure I'm sure that's coming though but they're wonderful kids
[speaker001:] uh-huh so they're pretty good kids huh yeah well we had nine well growing up I guess I can talk about us uh we had nine kids in our family we had eight boys and one girl but my dad um yeah and the time that my we spent with our dad was he owned his own business so we worked with him most of the time
[speaker002:] you had eight boys and one girl
[speaker001:] so that's how we spent most of the time with him yeah
[speaker002:] are you Mormons because with Utah and the large family
[speaker001:] that was the dead giveaway huh
[speaker002:] well we're Catholics I came from a family of five I had four brothers the only girl
[speaker001:] uh-huh oh
[speaker002:] and everyone always asked if the girl got spoiled I never felt spoiled in fact I always felt my toys were destroyed
[speaker001:] which that I was gonna say my sister wasn't spoiled very much
[speaker002:] no usually busy fighting for survival
[speaker001:] yeah that's exactly what it was
[speaker002:] well I do think with working parents it is I mean there are some real issues here um
[speaker001:] but uh-huh
[speaker002:] that I think um I don't know it's an interesting phenomena I happen to um I'm a pediatrician my husband is a physician so um
[speaker001:] oh
[speaker002:] I I teasingly I talk to parents about this a lot uh children I I think working mothers or mothers who choose to work outside the home um need very early to come to grips with any guilt that they feel and decide what's best for them and their family
[speaker001:] yeah uh-huh
[speaker002:] and I feel when my children were very young I had jobs that helped me be flexible with my schedule and spend time with them and all that sort of thing and I long ago decided I'm a better mother because I work outside the home I really believe that
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and it has um helped us to afford some things for our children that we couldn't otherwise that I think are wonderful particularly at this age and I think our kids are real secure
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and have a real sense of priorities and that they can do anything and be anything both male and female a lot so I know it sounds like a rationalization but it's I really think it's true for our family and I think it has worked very well
[speaker001:] well yeah it's like you said it's you know to each his own I mean we're planning on having my wife stay home and but
[speaker002:] there's no question I think that's really the best if if a woman is happy doing that I hate to put it quite that way
[speaker001:] um-hum yeah
[speaker002:] I was twenty nine when I had my first child and um I would not have been real fulfilled I really would not have been totally staying home with a young child it's a wonderful it's wonderful to be a mother but
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] um I liked I like the way I did it I sort of worked half time I had very flexible hours
[speaker001:] right
[speaker002:] I nursed all three of our children till they were at least a year and I you can do that despite working very easily which is one of the things I preach all the time to to mothers
[speaker001:] oh uh-huh
[speaker002:] um and I think we choose very very carefully the um alternative situations that we had them in
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] some babysitting groups again I know it sounds like a rationalization but I really do think sometimes they very early on are around lots of other children and they they learn to share and they learn not necessarily to be the center of attention but that at the same time we have to be sure they're secure I think that helps
[speaker001:] um-hum well that's good sounds like you're have a handle on it
[speaker002:] oh yeah hope so so your wife does she work right now
[speaker001:] um no not right now right right well we just moved down here we used to live up in Seattle
[speaker002:] she's out
[speaker001:] for for a couple years
[speaker002:] so you're still trying to dry out
[speaker001:] it's it's no problem here yeah we really liked it up there but then when