[speaker001:] okay have you faced uh elderly care yet uh nursing home care for any of your parents
[speaker002:] unfortunately yes uh in fact tonight I had a dinner with uh my three brothers and our wives and we were talking uh we had a review with the nursing home staff my mother's in a nursing home
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] and uh we had a review today and a few things we had to do that are part of it that you don't really like like uh making decisions on living wills and extended care that type of thing so yes I'm very familiar with it and it's not something that is uh
[speaker001:] yes
[speaker002:] you know I never thought I'd have to go through this kind of an experience but I guess we all do
[speaker001:] I think sooner or later uh both my mother and my husband's mother we had to end up putting in nursing homes and they were to the point that they only lived both of them about six weeks once they got in
[speaker002:] oh really
[speaker001:] and uh-huh and it's absolutely I believe that was one of the hardest things I ever did
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] in my life I that it just you know it's absolutely devastating
[speaker002:] right
[speaker001:] what have you found in dealing with the nursing homes
[speaker002:] well they're not every all the horror stories you hear about them I think are true uh
[speaker001:] yes
[speaker002:] we've we you know we've looked around and my wife has looked at extensively at all the ones in the area and the one she is in now um there's a lot of drawbacks a lot of things we don't like but again it's no different than everyone and you know the cost of it three three thousand dollars a month when you think about it for what you're paying a hospital for
[speaker001:] hm um-hum
[speaker002:] almost the same well even not as much care
[speaker001:] yes yes
[speaker002:] it's not that expensive really
[speaker001:] no uh there was a little bit of difference in in the two between my mother and my mother-in-law
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and uh theirs both ran oh I think my mother-in-law's was like fifteen hundred and my mother's was two thousand then this has been five years ago and uh uh one of the things that you know I had discovered is that
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] if they knew that I came in there at all different hours they got much better care than if when I started out with my mother-in-law because she was in there first
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] I would go certain hours and they knew and if I'd pop in unexpectedly I discovered you know they did a little bit they did better
[speaker002:] oh really
[speaker001:] you know uh-huh and you know a couple of times with my mother-in-law I would catch something not being taken care of and you know would have to raise so I got to where I knew then when my mother was in
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] that you know not to go the same time all the time
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] and they would and when I was looking for the nursing homes another thing that I learned uh we had my mother all set to go into one and for some reason I just went back and on my own went around the different floors
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and I saw areas that they had not shown me and they did not come across as well
[speaker002:] well I'll be darned
[speaker001:] as you know what they had originally shown me so uh we did not put her in that one we put her in another one that I I went a couple times when they weren't expecting me and saw and you know was much uh better pleased
[speaker002:] um-hum yeah
[speaker001:] with the situation
[speaker002:] yeah you you know this is the whole point you've got you've got to shop them
[speaker001:] yes you do
[speaker002:] I know my mother's in now in a unit that's mainly Alzheimer's
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] and um we're convinced that she probably would be better off in a geriatric
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] uh the fact that these people are they're up and around but they're they're it's reminds me too much of an asylum type situation situation and it's very very
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh does your mother have Alzheimer's
[speaker002:] she well who knows they call it uh dementia
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] and uh we don't know I mean she does not know us anymore
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and whether it's Alzheimer's or what it is nobody really knows but it's basically the same and her health is not that bad
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] although she has gone down downhill drastically since this this this last well she had been in a retirement community and somewhere in so we're in the back of her mind she had it that she would live with her children well
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] she we we just did not have the capabilities to to take care of her and uh but she she has gone down steadily since she has been in and she's been in the nursing home now for oh I would say about three months
[speaker001:] um-hum did she know that she was going to a nursing home did she know that she was going to a nursing home
[speaker002:] and I'm sorry she no as far as she knew she was going to a hospital
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and that she could she could handle a hospital and we says you know mom if you you know if you get a you get better you've got to have the care the doctor insisted on it you know if you get better that you could come out