[speaker001:] I guess what this brings to mind is uh um my chief complaint is then uh the priority that's given to kids  that's what comes to mind anyway well I don't know I guess uh I think one of the biggest changes that's taken place over the last twenty five years anyway is um uh uh both parents working and the
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] the uh mechanisms haven't really been in place to get to give kids all the attention they need
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] so I think that uh and I think we're so reaping the um results of that in uh
[speaker002:] the consequences
[speaker001:] a lot of problems yeah I mean I don't blame people for um both going to work um both parents going to work it's tough not to for a lot of people but it's been I think that may be the single biggest social change in the middle class anyway that's uh that has uh uh had a lot more repercussion that people every thought
[speaker002:] yeah yeah my wife and I have gone through a couple of decades together we're both on our early forties
[speaker001:] um
[speaker002:] um we've been married uh twenty two years so we sort of grew up together and um just had children uh so we have a four year old and a two year old
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and uh for the first eighteen years of our marriage um we were two income carriers and all that so we had a pretty full lifestyle and
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and having the children we decided to uh to go into one income so I work and she stays home
[speaker001:] tough isn't it
[speaker002:] and and it's you know the the ideal value system is is to motivate it there
[speaker001:] our situation
[speaker002:] because it it suddenly is something that uh that we thought long and hard about
[speaker001:] our situation is very much very similar Mary we're both professionals and used to working and we decided that when we had kids that we would uh have somebody home until they were uh well into school
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] it's difficult especially it's not so much difficult financially I don't think as it is uh culturally in that it's um uh kind of expected I think I think it's difficult on my wife not to be um
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] professionally identified and that sort of thing
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] but I really feel like it's been worth it for the kids and when I look around I think uh I'm I'm pretty glad we made the decision we did
[speaker002:] yeah yeah we've you know experienced a lot the the turmoil of the uh sixties and seventies and uh I think we we were part of that um looking for new value systems and having uh a vision of the way the world was going to be when we were you know in middle age which I guess we are now
[speaker001:] and then all of the sudden the kids come along
[speaker002:] yeah that too but uh I just think that uh right now we're experiencing a lot of disappointment with uh our generation and and uh the way things haven't really changed and I think that uh you know our personal difficulties are reflected in a lot of the unrest right now we're seeing with respect to politics
[speaker001:] yeah yeah I I think uh you have to be um I don't want to make it uh more dramatic but you have to be kind of cultural really if you want to put your family first and uh
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] um to sort of uh put a cap on things that you can really have and enjoy and just go ahead and um do what's right by your by your family
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] and I don't I I don't see a lot of support out there I see a lot of people um voting down school taxes and um
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] uh well a degree of the eighties was I think uh maybe the most disappointing social phenomena that I witnessed
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] because I really did see you see it in um magnified about twenty times
[speaker002:] yeah I mean uh maybe double that again in the east coast
[speaker001:] really
[speaker002:] uh yeah and we're we're both from the mid west we're both from Saint Louis and uh experienced but we spent the entire eighties out here and uh
[speaker001:] um
[speaker002:] we're just thirty miles outside of Manhattan
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and uh it's very different than the mid west it's
[speaker001:] I guess the I guess the the epicenter of that uh
[speaker002:] yeah yeah I mean it you know the the kids around here
[speaker001:] stuff in the eighties
[speaker002:] uh you know think they're poor if they can't get a Polo shirt every week
[speaker001:] um-hum right
[speaker002:] it it's it's a different perspective and uh you know we got caught up in that we we we had you know a real decade of hay day an uh now we're retrenching like a lot of the rest of the country uh particularly because you know we chose to have a single income and um
[speaker001:] um
[speaker002:] also working uh in a large corporate setting and that has become unsettled in the last