[speaker001:] Well Brent, I've been, um, I kind of gave up my career about three years ago to stay home with my children because I thought, uh, if it, it's only going to be another year until the youngest is in school.
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] And I thought it was a good sacrifice to make,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] because, um, it was important to me to, to spend some time with kids. I know that when I was in school and getting my degree at the same time my husband was, it was really hard on our family because I would, he would come home and I would leave,
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] and then when I would come home and he would leave, and, um, so I think one day one of our kids said, you know, someone came home and they said, well, when is dad leaving or something. It was like that [children] they thought that's the way life was,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] that you didn't have two parents at home at the same time. And so I think, um, it's become real important to me that we try to spend time together as a family. So there's one or two nights a week, we have a, on Monday nights we set aside time where it's called, uh, family home evening and we stay home that evening, all of us, and we do things together.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh. You must be a.
[speaker001:] Yes.
[speaker002:] So am I.
[speaker001:] Oh, you are?
[speaker002:] Yes, what a coincidence.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER].
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER].
[speaker001:] Yes and,
[speaker002:] Yeah, I know what family home evening's all about.
[speaker001:] So you do that and, right, and then we try to do a family activity on Saturday,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] usually in the morning.
[speaker002:] Right, and then the family home evening, too.
[speaker001:] Right, and then, you know, sometimes we try to do our lesson on Sunday night and then our activity or something on Monday but,
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] We're, it's real important to us to spend time together.
[speaker002:] Well, that's good. Um, how many children do you have?
[speaker001:] I have two.
[speaker002:] Two?
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] What, what do you have?
[speaker001:] I have a girl and a boy, and the boy's five, he's in kindergarten, and the girl is four. She'll be in kindergarten next year.
[speaker002:] Five and four.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] I have two daughters.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] My oldest is, uh, four and my youngest is about to turn three.
[speaker001:] Uh.
[speaker002:] Two girls.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] And they are a handful [LAUGHTER].
[speaker001:] They are a handful.
[speaker002:] Yes. We've, my, uh, well, when we first got married, my wife worked for a year. Then we decided to have kids.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] And, uh, she, she got pregnant and then we decided she would stay home with the kids. We would make that sacrifice. It is a financial sacrifice to make because we go from two incomes down to one.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] And, uh, we made that decision and, uh, so sh-, after she had the first baby, she stayed home. And, and we had a second baby and she's still at home [LAUGHTER].
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] Yes.
[speaker002:] And so, uh, you know, at work a lot of people are, you know, I think well this is not a normal situation anymore in our, in our world we live in. Most of them, uh, continue to work if they have, have kids.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] I only have one other person I know in my, in my group here that works where the wife stays home, and that's because of religious values as well. They're Baptists and they, and they think that's important.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] But everybody else works and they drop their kids off at day-care and, and leave them and, I don't know, I just don't want, I just don't want strangers raising my children.
[speaker001:] Well, no, and it's, it's just not, um, it's not as stable for the kids,
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] and they, everybody decided to come over and talk to me right now. But, uh, it's, yeah.
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER] That's how it is at our house when you're on the phone. Oh, it's open, anything goes when mom's on the phone [LAUGHTER].
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] Well, it's also important, I think, um, for my husband. I, I try to go out of my way to, to plan things that he can do with the kids because,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] since I am home with them and so I get a lot of time with them, he needs to have, um, some time with them. So he, when he comes home, he, um, you know, it's his job at night. He puts the kids to bed,
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] and he reads to them,
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] and he spends about an hour doing that, and that's, that's pretty good quality time,
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] with them, and, um, but it's hard for him on Saturdays. He, he wants,
[speaker002:] With all the yard work and things like that.
[speaker001:] Right, he wants to run out and get things done, and so, um, I try to say, well, why don't you go fly kites or why don't you
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] do something. And if I have something in mind, then he, he remembers that,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] that's what he wants to do.
[speaker002:] Right, we feel that, you know, just spending time together. You don't necessarily have to be doing anything, you know, that costs money or, or, you know, that requires you to go a great distance or anything like that. It's just the kids like to, being together as a family.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] Like last Saturday we went, had some errands to run and so we took the kids and, and went by the Farmers Market down in, in, down there in Garland.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] And they had a blast running around the Farmers Market looking at all the, you know,
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER].
[speaker002:] the food and tasting all the free samples they were giving out. And they had a little pen there with animals in they could pet, you know,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] and they liked that. And then on the way home we drove by the local high school and there happened to be an F A, F A A, Future Far-, F A, Future Farmers of America, F F A
[speaker001:] Yes.
[speaker002:] going on there, and they had all kinds of pigs and horses and goats and sheep and everything, you know, all out in this, in the, in this schoolyard there. So we just said, hey, let's stop and
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] and the kids got to go around and, you know, see pigs and animals and things like that, and, and for them that's wonderful, you know. They, they thought it was the greatest fun, you know, and it didn't cost any money. And, uh, you don't have quite as much money when, when the wife doesn't work.
[speaker001:] Well, that's right. But I do think, um, you know, like the current trends are that, um, the family unit is devaluated. It's not
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] nearly as important. We find that, you know, back just even fifty years ago when people had financial problems, the first place they went to was their family.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] And families took care of themselves and, um, but now, you know, people don't, they don't
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] support each other that way.
[speaker002:] Right. Oh, definitely motherhood is devalued in this s-, society. If you're, stay at home and you're a mother, it's like what a waste.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] People think, you know, you should be fulfilling yourself and, and a mother isn't an important
[speaker001:] That's right and,
[speaker002:] important thing as, as having a career and, and that should be first and, and children second. But they don't have kind of an, what we call an internal perspective of things.
[speaker001:] Right, right,
[speaker002:] But that,
[speaker001:] And it's not an easy sacrifice for a person to make,
[speaker002:] No.
[speaker001:] because, you know, I, you know, I have interests that,
[speaker002:] Right.
[speaker001:] too, and it is hard to make, uh, those interests not be as a major part of my life.
[speaker002:] Uh, at this point.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] It's not to say that some day you won't go back to work. My mother's a school teacher and when, when we started, uh, having kids, she had to work for a little while, but then she just started substituting.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] So she would just substitute once or twice a week, you know, just for that little extra money when we were in school. Then we would just come home and just be, you know, go to a neighbor's house for an hour, then she'd be home. But she wouldn't do that every day.
[speaker001:] Right.
[speaker002:] But now that my, my, uh, youngest sister's at B Y U now, and so they have no one at home, she's back teaching school full time now, again. So if, you know, it's not, it's just a temporary thing.
[speaker001:] It is temporary. It, in the middle of it, it seems like a long time,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] but you're right, it is temporary. Well, I see that we both share the same belief here that
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[speaker001:] it's important that we spend time with our kids and,
[speaker002:] Yeah,
[speaker001:] and, in spite of,
[speaker002:] yeah, you, it's, it's hard sometimes at work because, you know, people say, oh, we're taking a cruise, we're going here, we're going there, you know
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] because they have a lot more money. And a lot of them decide just not to have children.
[speaker001:] Yes.
[speaker002:] It's, it's amazing, they either have one or none.
[speaker001:] That's true.
[speaker002:] And, and the one person I know that has one, they, they feel guilty. She has this continual guilt trip that she's not doing the right thing, and so on, uh, on weekends she would, you know, spend all of her time with her kids and spend lots of, lots and lots of money. Basically, I think they, they really spoil the child,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] to try to overcompensate for their guilt feelings. And, and, and they don't want to have anymore children because they just don't think, you know, that, she doesn't think she could be a mother at home. That's not her bag. So she just doesn't think that she could, you know, the guilt feelings, she can't deal with
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] with it anymore so,
[speaker001:] Well, it is,
[speaker002:] You know,
[speaker001:] the hardest thing I've ever done, as much as you'd go out and,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh. Yeah, my wife, uh, likes staying home.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] Uh, she works at home some, though.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] The place she works with, worked with before, um, worked out an arrangement with her where she can work at home,
[speaker001:] Well, that's good.
[speaker002:] part time, and so, uh, that, it's kind of a seasonal thing. Three times a year she's really busy doing certain things
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] based on that kind of business, but the rest of the time she's free. She likes to sew and do crafts and things like that [LAUGHTER]. So she enjoys staying at home, but, uh, the money part of it is not as rewarding, obviously, but
[speaker001:] No.
[speaker002:] there's different rewards, you know, different kinds of rewards.
[speaker001:] Yeah, I think so. I think it's an investment in your future, even if it's purely not, not religious. You can at least say that it's important to our country,
[speaker002:] Right, right, right.
[speaker001:] that our family unit stays strong.
[speaker002:] And you really have to make, uh, quite a bit of money. The wife doesn't make it worth it, with the cost of day-care.
[speaker001:] Yes.
[speaker002:] I know there's, you know, when you adjust your income for what you put out for day-care, you know, you're only making like five.