[speaker001:] Hi you want to start first [LAUGHTER]?
[speaker002:] Of course. We are talking about the elderly and,
[speaker001:] Right.
[speaker002:] uh, whether or not we wo-, we like nursing homes and,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] as a matter of fact, I can tell you something about that.
[speaker001:] You apparently have somebody there, in one.
[speaker002:] No, actually, my grandmother owned and operated a nursing home for years and her mother,
[speaker001:] Oh, you are kidding?
[speaker002:] No, she did.
[speaker001:] Oh.
[speaker002:] And then my mother also owned and operated a nursing home,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] for years.
[speaker001:] I will be darned.
[speaker002:] And then, uh, went on back to school and became the director of nurses at a nursing home [sigh].
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] And, uh, my mother and my older sister both are geriatric nurses.
[speaker001:] Oh, for heaven's sake.
[speaker002:] So, I do know something [LAUGHTER] about that.
[speaker001:] You are very, very much aware of what goes on.
[speaker002:] Absolutely.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] That is great.
[speaker002:] Actually, the motivation for Grandmother entering the business,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] was that her mother was very old,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] and couldn't seem to find companions.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
[speaker002:] She was lonely.
[speaker001:] Right.
[speaker002:] And she needed company,
[speaker001:] Right.
[speaker002:] for her mother and so she opened a nursing home and initially started with eight ladies.
[speaker001:] I will be darned.
[speaker002:] And then, uh, it, it grew into a,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
[speaker002:] very prosperous business from that point. Uh, then they,
[speaker001:] Now, see that is a nice attitude to go into.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] Uh, it seems like they must be waiting until it is a necessity
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] and there is no chance of, uh, good companionship or doing anything.
[speaker002:] Well, that is not really true, either, uh, I think that is a stigma and an I,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] and an impression that has come from some few bad experiences. You see, those who had bad experiences talk about them.
[speaker001:] Uh, right, right.
[speaker002:] And those who do not may write,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] a letter to the nursing home and say you did good,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] but they do not talk a whole lot about that.
[speaker001:] That is true. But what I mean is instead of maybe entering a nursing home,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] when you are still able to have good,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] relationships with,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] maybe other friends
[speaker002:] Sure. Well now,
[speaker001:] they wait until they are, you know, unable.
[speaker002:] That is right. Well, that is because they wait until the children make those choices,
[speaker001:] Right.
[speaker002:] they choose to not make those,
[speaker001:] Right, right.
[speaker002:] choices themselves. However, my daughter-in-law [sigh] also is a nurse in a nursing home.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] And, uh, she works for one here in Dallas, which is more a retirement village than it is a nursing home. And these, these,
[speaker001:] Uh, uh-huh.
[speaker002:] I love watching these elderly people come, they will come and tell her. "Well I am going for my,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] tennis lessons.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER].
[speaker002:] And, uh, would yo-, would you, you know, call down and have the van come around and take,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
[speaker002:] us for our tennis lessons." And they are very active and very enthusiastic and they have,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] some excellent programs right there on site.
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] [Sigh] Their dining room looks like, you know, Luby's Cafeteria.
[speaker001:] Yeah. That is great.
[speaker002:] Or, or one of the lovely cafeterias. And they have, you know, pink linen napkins for their dinners.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
[speaker002:] And, [sigh] a well equipped library.
[speaker001:] Yeah, that sounds great.
[speaker002:] Oh, I am certainly very much for a nursing home and I think when the, the parent gets old enough,
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] to the extent where they just do not want to be bothered with keeping house,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] and with taking care of themselves,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] anymore. That is a wonderful alternative.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] It is expensive. It is costly.
[speaker001:] See if they could, could get this idea across though, better than what it is,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] you, know.
[speaker002:] Well, now my daddy's mother, uh, lived in a, a retirement village and she and her sister had side by side duplexes,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] one bedroom duplex. [sigh] She still had her individuality,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] but they were there close and they did have, uh, you know, the button that you could push the central office if you got into problems and,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] there were lights that you could flip on and so forth. And they have security.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] No, I am very much in favor, I have heard horror stories,
[speaker001:] Oh, well you have that with anything.
[speaker002:] I know that the elderly can easily be abused,
[speaker001:] Oh yeah.
[speaker002:] but I would be willing to bet they are far less abused in a nursing home than are, they are in,
[speaker001:] In the homes, yeah.
[speaker002:] homes of their own children.
[speaker001:] Well,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] we used our nursing home as, uh, like when my sister was real bad before she died
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] uh, we took her the last month and a half,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] into a nursing home.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] And they were super with her.
[speaker002:] Absolutely.
[speaker001:] They were, uh,
[speaker002:] Well now, my grandmother, of course all of my folks lived to be very old
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] and my grandmother developed Hodgkin's Disease,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] when she was in her late eighties,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] uh, late seventies, I mean.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] [Sigh] She went to the doctor, she had surgery, she got the treatments and during,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
[speaker002:] the period of time that she was undergoing those treatments she was in a nursing home.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] She got better, she got well, she got out and went dancing again.
[speaker001:] Well, a lot of people do that. They,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] left them temporally maybe they had a,
[speaker002:] That is right.
[speaker001:] broken hip or something or,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh, uh-huh. I think it is a wonderful interim place,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] it is a place that you do not have to struggle with hospital,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
[speaker002:] problems [sigh] and yet it is not, you know, you have,
[speaker001:] And it can become home to them.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
[speaker001:] It,
[speaker002:] It certainly is.
[speaker001:] It depends upon the individual.
[speaker002:] It certainly does, but, you see, we have had excellent experience with that. And, uh, I, I did not put my husband in a nursing home when he became ill, but,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
[speaker002:] I would not object to going to one. I might,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] I might like to be, [sigh] uh, coherent enough to make my own choice.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh, uh-huh.
[speaker002:] [Sigh] Uh, I would not particularly think I would want my kids to say, "well, I think this is what I need for Mom", and,
[speaker001:] This is and,
[speaker002:] then dump me there.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER].
[speaker002:] But, I would like,
[speaker001:] There has to be consideration taken on everything.
[speaker002:] That is right. Uh-huh, uh-huh. And I think you would shop for a nursing home, just like you would shop for a church,
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] or a doctor or anything else.
[speaker001:] That is right, you would look into it thoroughly and,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh, sure.
[speaker001:] do, do the best job you could in choosing one.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh. When you get to the point where you are in trouble,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] and you have got to have that help, you are in no position to make those choices.
[speaker001:] No and you do not have the time to look, that is what,
[speaker002:] That is right.
[speaker001:] I am saying,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] most people will not even look at that until it becomes a necessity.
[speaker002:] Absolutely. I think that one of the best ways to do that is for families to realize they are going to be needing those facilities one day,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] and to actually get involved and participate on a community level with community service. Go out to the nursing home, help guide some craft programs, perhaps, work on some [sigh] music programs, whatever their talents are.
[speaker001:] Whatever their talents, yeah.
[speaker002:] And work with,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] those senior citizens.
[speaker001:] Yeah, I have a cousin who is, uh, she had a son that was epileptic from birth, and he did fine,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] at home, they lived on a farm,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] but she made arrangements, so that when she was gone,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] she did not want her, her children,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] her other children burdened with his care.
[speaker002:] That is right.
[speaker001:] So he, they, she has made arrangements that when she, she was gone, that he would go into the nursing home.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] And he has, I would say, he adjusted very well and, uh, he, he, he has been there quite a long time.
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] And, uh, he don't know me usually [LAUGHTER].
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[speaker001:] So, he goes wheeling down, uh, the hall to bingo. Somebody else, is helping him out,
[speaker002:] That is right.
[speaker001:] you know,
[speaker002:] Uh.
[speaker001:] and, uh, he has adjusted very well.
[speaker002:] Well, one of the things, I think that is most desirable for the elderly and that is routine.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh, oh yes. Yes.
[speaker002:] Routine and,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] uh, constancy.
[speaker001:] Uh-huh, uh-huh .
[speaker002:] Uh, the only real problem with that in a nursing home is that the staff turns over. [LAUGHTER] I do not think they pay,
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER].
[speaker002:] the nursing home staff sufficiently,
[speaker001:] uh-huh.
[speaker002:] to, to get the dedication [sigh],
[speaker001:] To keep them there, uh-huh.
[speaker002:] that they have in some other profession,
[speaker001:] True.
[speaker002:] and that is sad, because, I think the health profession is one of the most critical,
[speaker001:] Yes. But,
[speaker002:] And, uh,
[speaker001:] for some reason people resist, uh, the fact that they should be paid as well as businesses and that type of thing, you know.
[speaker002:] That is right.
[speaker001:] It seems to be a resistance.
[speaker002:] Care for the elderly and care for the children,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] I cannot imagine a more costly and a more,
[speaker001:] Uh-huh.
[speaker002:] a more, uh, better area to invest,
[speaker001:] Right, right.
[speaker002:] your money.
[speaker001:] But there seems to be a resistance.
[speaker002:] You are preserving your heritage and your future there.
[speaker001:] Yeah, yeah.
[speaker002:] [Sniffing].
[speaker001:] So, uh,
[speaker002:] And, as a matter of fact, I do not see why they do not have children's programs in nursing homes.
[speaker001:] Well, around here, we have some, you know, the churches,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] take your, the children and,
[speaker002:] Uh-huh.
[speaker001:] I know our kids thoroughly, the children thoroughly enjoy,