[speaker001:] okay um I haven't been in this situation yet you know my my parents are not quite at that age yet so I haven't
[speaker002:] that's not quite elderly huh
[speaker001:] no so I haven't uh really been in that situation although they are thinking about my grandmother but um
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] that's really about it how about you have you been in that situation where you've had to
[speaker002:] um not for my parents but I I was around uh two sets of grandparents um quite a bit we we put one I put one grandfather in a rest home
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] and that killed him well yeah kind of well there was some other things involved but it before he was really active and
[speaker001:] did it really
[speaker002:] the there was some you know he lost lost his drivers license and uh couldn't get around and wasn't able to do some things and so we ended up just having to put him in a rest home
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] and he just kind of became a vegetable and died
[speaker001:] oh no that's sad
[speaker002:] so but that was a long time ago that was uh back in like seventy three
[speaker001:] yeah oh okay
[speaker002:] so um I think the way they did things were a lot different back then
[speaker001:] are sure they were
[speaker002:] and uh my grandmother his his wife uh we also put her in a rest home she was in a rest home and then she was back out because she didn't really need to be there
[speaker001:] yeah uh-huh
[speaker002:] and uh had a physical had a good physical therapist at that place
[speaker001:] oh
[speaker002:] and they worked with her and got her walking and got her taking kind of taking care of herself and so she was able to come back home
[speaker001:] yeah oh
[speaker002:] and then she had to go back in a couple of times but mostly it was just because she kind of gave up
[speaker001:] huh
[speaker002:] and they got her going again
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] so I guess as far as looking and I said the as what you're looking for I think you need to look for an active uh interactive staff
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] somebody who's willing to work with uh you know work with a patients and do do things with them and treat them treat them like that
[speaker001:] yeah and I'm sure it's it's expensive
[speaker002:] it it is
[speaker001:] yeah  yeah
[speaker002:] it is expensive
[speaker001:] yeah my my grandmother is not in a nursing home but she's in a oh they're like um they're apartments for senior citizens
[speaker002:] what uh-huh oh uh-huh
[speaker001:] and she loves that because it it they arrange activities for them all day long and then they have um where the bus picks them up and takes them where they need to go
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and she she she really does love that but she's just concerned about in in the future you know she she knows it's not gonna be like that all the time and she's just wondering well what's gonna happen to me and and I you know it's I guess it's so normal to start to wonder about that even if she doesn't need that but
[speaker002:] uh-huh when she can't take care of herself um-hum now that
[speaker001:] you know she's kind of asking questions about what well what's gonna happen you know this can't last forever and
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] so
[speaker002:] does she have a is it like a kitchenette type apartment where she can fix her own food if she wants to or she can go down to the cafeteria
[speaker001:] yeah it yeah she can but I I think it is also cafeteria style because I I really I I I doubt if she rarely cooks for herself
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] so uh
[speaker002:] fact I
[speaker001:] because I I remember her in her letters telling me she she'll go downstairs for coffee or something to eat so I'm assuming it's something like that too so
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] so
[speaker002:] yeah I I really like that concept they've they have a few of those well quite a few of those places like that here in Utah and uh you know I
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] couples can you know husband and wife can can live there too or or whatever I and and and then and yet they have their their friendships and relationships the you know of getting together and eating together and all of that
[speaker001:] yeah yeah
[speaker002:] I I think it really takes um you you know looking more at the people than even really the facilities
[speaker001:] um-hum and she lives by herself too she seems to like it and um my husband's grandmother is
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] well she lives she lives in a house on her own and she doesn't really need the care or anything like that but she has her own home and she and she's doing really well I'm really proud of her she's doing really well
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] so we haven't had to do anything but then again she has a lot of support so I mean she's got her mother in town too and things like that so hopefully we won't need to go that route
[speaker002:] yeah yeah well I I think that that's the thing that's a little bit scary you know a little bit tough about putting them in a rest home is it's it's almost like that you know they say putting them out to pasture and some some of the people that were there with my grandmother were really active they they wanted to do things they didn't you know they didn't wanna go down and play bingo or um
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] you know play with the yarn