[speaker002:] uh no this elderly care of the elderly I am looking at this right now with my father and it is a tough decision to make
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] that uh
[speaker001:] does he he live at home now and
[speaker002:] yes he's and he's living at home more or less alone my sister spends an awful low of time with with him which is a burden on her
[speaker001:] um-hum yeah
[speaker002:] and his health is so bad that we don't feel right about you know just letting him do what he wants to do and of course he feels like he is capable of taking care of himself and we know better
[speaker001:] no I know my uh my mother uh my grandmother is still alive and uh feisty old old lady she's uh she's really pretty good but she really just can't get around any more and she does have significant significant health problems
[speaker002:] uh-huh  uh-huh
[speaker001:] and my mom is looking after after her and it it's a big drain on my mom I can tell when I get calls from her she she sounds worn out
[speaker002:] yeah
[speaker001:] uh and uh it's tough on on my grandmother because she's use to just going to the store and getting what she wants and baking up things for her friends but now she's no longer where she grew up her friends have all passed on or in another city she can't just run right out and get things so a lot of these thing
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] fall on my mom go to the store get me this I want to go do that uh I've changed my mind phone calls in the middle of the night because she's lonesome yeah
[speaker002:] oh yeah Yeah
[speaker001:] yeah and uh you know I I can see from a distance I'm not right there on top of it maybe I am a little more objective but I would think that they would try like to try and find her some place that first of all she could be happy
[speaker002:] well that's that will be a problem because I have looked and they all really amount to the same thing uh
[speaker001:] yeah yeah
[speaker002:] I have looked for all both ends of the scale really from your kind of State run things to the very private elite type and really it boil down to I think to one thing you're putting somebody in there and more or less waiting for them to die
[speaker001:] um
[speaker002:] and it's uh it's sad but that's the way we've been brought up to look at it and I hate it but there comes a time when when this is what what happens especially with the way medicine is today It's keeping us alive longer and
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] and we're living longer so therefore you know
[speaker001:] you almost like to have some place that's almost hospice care but a little bit more independent than that almost almost like a community that has partly something like condominiums
[speaker002:] right yeah it's kind of our
[speaker001:] where those people that are mobile can still retain their their independence but maybe have somebody come by and check on them once or twice a day bring them the groceries or come by and chat or whatever and then a hospice for those who no longer quite so mobile
[speaker002:] right uh-huh
[speaker001:] the problem with everything else in health care is is the cost
[speaker002:] the cost is just unreal
[speaker001:] uh I mean that's that's almost why some of the you know the the experimental cooperatives you hear about where people sort of throw in all their money together and and do that sort of thing but it's it's you you start getting commercialization of it and the cost just skyrockets
[speaker002:] right well that's
[speaker001:] so they want to really make a a method of it I wish that we could find some place for for my grandmother she would be happier
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] uh and my mother wouldn't have to drop everything and and really she's lost a great deal of control of her life to the point where her own health is deteriorating
[speaker002:] right right
[speaker001:] and and that the stress is just enormous I I feel for you you're you're one step closer than I am to it and it must be it must be really draining on you
[speaker002:] well it is especially since he lives in Mississippi I live in Texas and then my sister lives in Louisiana This this you know it makes in fact I just got back from having to go stay with him because she needed to get away
[speaker001:] oh um-hum yeah
[speaker002:] and it's uh but uh I don't know what other solution there is eventually we're going to have to put him in a home some place
[speaker001:] oh it it right now though he's independent enough to to take care of day to day or or have
[speaker002:] well more or less but he is almost to the point that he's legally blind so that is really what bothers us uh he could start a fire uh just about anything could happen
[speaker001:] oh oh yeah oh yeah yeah I can I can appreciate that and there's there use to be programs in some of the more progressive communities of of house mates
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] somebody that comes and lives there and for room and board takes care of people but
[speaker002:] right
[speaker001:] you need you need a contact service in the community I'd I'd even be happy just uh trying to find a a day program that my grandmother would be willing to accept that she could go and spend the day meeting some right now she tries to hold up in her apartment and the only people she
[speaker002:] right