[speaker001:] okay uh first um I need to know uh how how do you feel about uh about sending um an elderly uh family member to a nursing home
[speaker002:] well of course it's you know it's it one of the last few things in the world you'd ever want to do you know unless it's just you know really you know for and for their uh you know for their own good
[speaker001:] yes yeah
[speaker002:] I'd be very very careful and uh you know checking them out uh our had to place my mother in a nursing home she had a rather massive stroke about uh
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] uh six eight months ago I guess and uh we were I was fortunate in that I was personally acquainted with the uh people who uh ran the nursing home in our little hometown
[speaker001:] yes
[speaker002:] so I was very comfortable you know in doing it when it got to the point that we had to do it but there's well I had an occasion for my uh mother-in-law who had fell and needed to be you know could not take care of herself anymore was confined to a nursing home for a while that was really not a very good experience uh it had to be done in a hurry I mean we didn't have you know like six months to check all of these places out and it was really not not very good uh deal we were not really happy with the
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] nursing home that we finally had fortunately she only had to stay a few weeks and she was able to to return to her apartment again but it's really a big uh big decision as to you know when to do it
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] you know is there something else we could have done you know in checking out all the places that uh might be available course there's you know there's not one on every corner especially in you know smaller areas smaller towns
[speaker001:] um-hum yeah probably the hardest thing in in my family uh my grandmother she had to be put in nursing home and um she had used a walker for for quite sometime probably about six to nine months and um
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] she had a fall and uh finally uh she had uh Parkinson's Disease and it got so much that she could not take care of her house she then she lived in an apartment and um
[speaker002:] hm right
[speaker001:] that was even harder actually because it was you know it was just a change of
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum
[speaker001:] change of location and it was very disturbing for her because she had been so used to traveling I mean she traveled she had she had children all across the United States and you know she spent nine months out of the year just visiting her children
[speaker002:] yes um-hum right uh-huh
[speaker001:] and um that was pretty heartrending for her I think when she finally came to the realization that you know no I cannot I cannot take care of myself
[speaker002:] oh I can imagine um-hum that's tough that's really tough
[speaker001:] yeah I mean for somebody who is you know for most of their life has has uh not just merely had a farm but had ten children had a farm ran everything because her husband was away in the coal mines and you know facing that situation it it's quite a dilemma I think
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum yes my mother excuse me go ahead
[speaker001:] yeah well my uh my uh probably one of the biggest decisions I think that was very strengthened for our family was rather than have one child make that decision
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] than just delegate it I think that they they had a great deal of um all the brothers and sisters got together and they actually had a conference and I mean it was just it was probably one of the most strengthening things for our family
[speaker002:] that's great
[speaker001:] getting down together and doing that and and just the children were involved in the decision because it involved just them and you know making that decision and then
[speaker002:] that's right it um-hum right yeah
[speaker001:] finding a place and everybody had duties to perform you know whether it was just you know giving money or whether it was actually taking part in in a lot of the decision making you know like finding a a proper nursing home
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum yep you were very fortunate
[speaker001:] and they I know they and well they had well they had they had seen it coming so so I mean it I mean I I I I hardly I I truly wish that if something like that were to happen that my children would do something like that for me
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum absolutely unfortunately unfortunately at a lot of times it responsibilities like that seem to fall to you know maybe one child in the whole family you know
[speaker001:] yeah yeah well we we yeah
[speaker002:] and uh it's usually not a very smooth smooth thing we were uh lucky I was lucky too that I only have my one brother
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and uh fortunately we agreed you know on exactly you know what we thought should be done my mother also was very very independent she had her own still had her own little house and still driving her own car at age eighty three
[speaker001:] yeah
[speaker002:] we were lucky in that in one respect in that after she had her stroke she wasn't really you know really much aware of what was going on
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] that nursing home life would not have been you know anything of her choosing of course she would she would not have been happy there at all but uh as it turned out the stroke took care of that concern for us
[speaker001:] yeah yeah well with my with my grandmother I think it was it was such that uh that she did not have the problem with  she was very well aware and her daughter came and visited her at least her daughter came and visited her and also her uh several grandchildren came and visited her everyday
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum um-hum that's great
[speaker001:] and I think that when she passed away it was probably one of the greatest um I I I think it would be it was more of a relief for her
[speaker002:] um-hum sure
[speaker001:] and um I mean but she was truly she was truly aware I mean I I didn't I don't know how I would how I would deal if if one of my parents came with with Alzheimer's or something like that which is which is far more devastating
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum that'd be tough yes absolutely
[speaker001:] and um I I think I think that what one thing that was that they were really concerned with probably was the fact it wasn't necessarily you know like the quantity of care but the quality of care that the people that work there were very
[speaker002:] um-hum yes right um-hum
[speaker001:] were very interested that to make it as close a home environment as possible I I think I think I think you know for myself I I see that as probably the the
[speaker002:] um-hum yes yeah we were fortunately
[speaker001:] what everything would hinge upon is it how close is it to a home environment that's the that's probably the major question
[speaker002:] oh yes that's right um-hum yeah I think a great strides are being made nowadays in in caring for the elderly you know in several in a whole lot of areas because people are of course population is getting older you know
[speaker001:] yeah yeah yeah you know it's it's interesting that that a lot of the population in the United States is changing because you know uh now that so many more minorities where they have had extended families for such a long time
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] um in matter of fact in the United States we used to have extended families it wasn't but I guess as we become more industrialized and more you know less in a rural situation
[speaker002:] um-hum that's right yes
[speaker001:] we we don't we we we choose not to deal with the extended family because we feel it's kind of cumbersome when in reality it makes things much much easier
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum that's right sure absolutely and people are families are scattered so much nowadays
[speaker001:] uh yeah yeah I I I think that perhaps perhaps the extended family you know that that it may be one of the solutions to a lot of thi ngs even even even child care you know I mean of course there there comes other issues you know whether or not
[speaker002:] yes
[speaker001:] any of the grandparents would we feel they're gonna be a good they're gonna be a good caretaker for our children but I mean they raised us after all
[speaker002:] yeah yeah just because they're grandparents just yeah just because they're grandparents that doesn't automatically make them a good child carer
[speaker001:] yeah but uh I'm I I think that you know I mean we always uh I mean I've I've had a a lot of good experiences with uh with many many people especially where they've had uh extended family and I and and I I kind of see that that you know perhaps you know we may need to like get close to the family environment and and get down to the values of you know I mean uh it's
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] money seems to be too big of an issue with with with with with with what's going on today and I I think I think that we may not you know that may be
[speaker002:] oh yeah sure realistically it is yes
[speaker001:] you know perhaps if we put money on the back burner that may that may choose to alleviate a lot of the problems I mean I mean we may not we may not have as high a standard of living but
[speaker002:] um-hum that would certainly help yeah um-hum
[speaker001:] the quality but actually have a truer standard of living
[speaker002:] right that's just a matter of defining priorities I guess or some priorities anyway
[speaker001:] yeah yeah yeah
[speaker002:] I think your right
[speaker001:] okay well I guess that was it
[speaker002:] okay was good talking to you yeah take care bye-bye
[speaker001:] okay all right hey bye-bye