[speaker001:] hi you want to start first
[speaker002:] of course we're talking about the elderly and uh whether or not we would we like nursing homes and as a matter of fact I can tell you something about that
[speaker001:] right uh-huh you apparently have somebody there in one
[speaker002:] no actually my grandmother owned and operated a nursing home for years and her mother
[speaker001:] oh you are kidding
[speaker002:] no she did and then my mother also owned and operated a nursing home for years and then uh went on back to school and became the director of nurses at a nursing home
[speaker001:] oh uh-huh I will be darned uh-huh
[speaker002:] and uh my mother and my older sister both are geriatric nurses
[speaker001:] oh for heaven's sake
[speaker002:] so I do know something about that
[speaker001:] you are very very much aware of what goes on that is great
[speaker002:] absolutely actually the motivation for grandmother entering the business was that her mother was very old and couldn't seem to find companions
[speaker001:] uh-huh um-hum um-hum um-hum
[speaker002:] she was lonely and she needed company for her mother and so she opened a nursing home and initially started with eight ladies and then uh it it grew into a very prosperous business from that point uh then they
[speaker001:] right right I will be darned um-hum now see that is a nice attitude to go into uh
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] it seems like they must be waiting until it's a necessity
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and there is no chance of uh good companionship or doing anything
[speaker002:] well that is not really true either uh I think that is a stigma and an I and an impression that has come from some few bad experiences you see those who had bad experiences talk about them
[speaker001:] um right right
[speaker002:] and those who don't may write a letter to the nursing home and say you did good but they do not talk a whole lot about that
[speaker001:] uh-huh that is true but what I mean is instead of maybe entering a nursing home
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] when you are still able to have good relationships with maybe other friends
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum sure well now
[speaker001:] they wait until they're you know unable
[speaker002:] that's right well that is because they wait until the children make those choices they choose to not make those choices themselves however my daughter-in-law also is a nurse in a nursing home
[speaker001:] right right right um-hum
[speaker002:] and uh she works for one here in Dallas which is more a retirement village than it is a nursing home and these these I love watching these elderly people come they will come and tell her well I am going for my tennis lessons
[speaker001:] um um-hum um-hum
[speaker002:] and uh would you would you you know call down and have the van come around and take us for our tennis lessons and they're very active and very enthusiastic and they have some excellent programs right there on site
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh yeah
[speaker002:] their dining room looks like you know Luby's Cafeteria
[speaker001:] yeah that's great
[speaker002:] or or one of the lovely cafeterias and they have you know pink linen napkins for their dinners and a a well equipped library
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh yeah that sounds great
[speaker002:] oh I am certainly very much for a nursing home and I think when the the parent gets old enough to the extent where they just don't want to be bothered with keeping house and with taking care of themselves anymore that is a wonderful alternative it is expensive it is costly
[speaker001:] yeah um-hum uh-huh uh-huh see if they could could get this idea across though better than what it is
[speaker002:] it is costly um-hum well now my daddy's mother uh lived in a a retirement village and she and her sister had side by side duplexes one bedroom duplex she still had her individuality
[speaker001:] you know um-hum um-hum
[speaker002:] but they were there close and they did have uh you know the button that you could push the central office if you got into problems and there were lights that you could flip on and so forth and they he did have security
[speaker001:] um-hum um-hum
[speaker002:] no I am very much in favor I have heard horror stories
[speaker001:] oh well you have that with anything
[speaker002:] I know that the elderly can easily be abused but I would be willing to bet they are far less abused in a nursing home than are they are in homes of their own children
[speaker001:] oh yeah in the homes yeah well we used our nursing home as uh
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] like when my sister was real bad before she died uh
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] we took her the last month and a half into a nursing home and they were super with her
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum absolutely
[speaker001:] they were uh
[speaker002:] well now my grandmother of course all of my folks lived to be very old and my grandmother developed Hodgkin's Disease when she was in her late eighties uh late seventies I mean
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker002:] she went to the doctor she had surgery she got the treatments and during the period of time that she was undergoing those treatments she was in a nursing home she got better she got well she got out and went dancing again
[speaker001:] um-hum uh-huh well a lot of people do that they left them temporally maybe they had a broken hip or something or
[speaker002:] uh-huh that's right uh-huh uh-huh I think it is a wonderful interim place it is a place that you don't have to struggle with hospital problems and uh yet it is not you know you have
[speaker001:] uh um-hum um-hum and it can become home to them
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum it certainly is
[speaker001:] it it it depends upon the individual right yeah
[speaker002:] it certainly does but you see we have had excellent experience with that and uh I I did not put my husband in a nursing home when he became ill but I would not object to going to one I might I might like to be uh coherent enough to make my own choice
[speaker001:] uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
[speaker002:] uh I would not particularly think I would want my kids to say well I think this is what I need for Mom and then dump me there but I would like
[speaker001:] this this is the age and there has to be consideration taken on everything so
[speaker002:] that's right um-hum um-hum and I think you would shop for a nursing home just like you would shop for a church or a doctor or anything else
[speaker001:] yeah that's right you would look into it thoroughly and do do the best job you could in choosing choosing one
[speaker002:] um-hum sure um-hum when you get to the point where you are in trouble and you have got to have that help you are in no position to make those choices
[speaker001:] uh-huh no and you do not have the time to look that is what I am saying most people will not even look at that until it becomes a necessity
[speaker002:] that's right um-hum absolutely I think that one of the best ways to do that is for families to realize they're going to be needing those facilities one day
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and to actually get involved and participate on a community level with community service go out to the nursing home help guide some craft programs perhaps work on some music programs whatever their talents are and work with those senior citizens
[speaker001:] whatever their talents yeah yeah I have a cousin who's uh he had a son that was epileptic from birth and he did fine at home they lived on a farm
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] but she made arrangements so that when she was gone she didn't want her her children her other children burdened with his care
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum um-hum that's right
[speaker001:] so he they she has made arrangements that when she she was gone that he would go into the nursing home
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and he's I would say he adjusted very well and uh he he he's been there quite a long time
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] and uh he don't know me usually but he goes wheeling down uh the hall to bingo somebody else he's helping him out
[speaker002:] yeah that's right
[speaker001:] you know and uh he has adjusted very well
[speaker002:] well one of the things I think that is most desirable for the elderly and that is routine
[speaker001:] um-hum oh yes yes
[speaker002:] routine and uh constancy
[speaker001:] um-hum um-hum
[speaker002:] uh the only real problem with that in a nursing home is that the staff turns over I do not think they pay the nursing home staff sufficiently to to get the dedication
[speaker001:] uh-huh to keep them there uh-huh
[speaker002:] that they have in some other profession and that's sad because I think the health profession is one of the most critical
[speaker001:] true yes yes but for for some reason
[speaker002:] and uh
[speaker001:] people resist uh the fact that they should be paid as well as businesses and that type of thing you know
[speaker002:] that's right
[speaker001:] it seems to be a resistance
[speaker002:] care for the elderly and care for the children I can't imagine a more costly and a more a more uh better area to invest your money
[speaker001:] um-hum um-hum right right but there seems to be a resistance
[speaker002:] you're preserving your heritage and your future there
[speaker001:] yeah yeah
[speaker002:] and as a matter of fact I don't see why they don't have children's programs in nursing homes
[speaker001:] well around here we have some you know the churches
[speaker002:] um-hum um-hum
[speaker001:] uh take your the children and I know our kids thoroughly the children thoroughly enjoy