[speaker001:] well Brent I've been um I kind of gave up my career about three years ago to stay home with my children because I thought uh if it it's only going to be another year until the youngest is in school
[speaker002:] right
[speaker001:] and I thought it was a good sacrifice to make
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] because um it was important to me to to spend some time with kids I know that when I was in school and getting my degree at the same time my husband was it was really hard on our family because I would he would come home and I would leave and then when I would come home and he would leave and um
[speaker002:] right
[speaker001:] so I think one day one of our kids said you know someone came home and they said well when is dad leaving or something it was like that they thought that's the way life was that you didn't have two parents at home at the same time
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] and so I think um it's become real important to me that we try to spend time together as a family so there's one or two nights a week we have a on Monday nights we set aside time where it's called uh family home evening and we stay home that evening all of us and we do things together
[speaker002:] uh-huh
[speaker001:] um
[speaker002:] you must be LES
[speaker001:] yes
[speaker002:] so am I yes what a coincidence
[speaker001:] oh you are
[speaker002:] yes and yeah I know what family home evening's all about
[speaker001:] so you do that and right and then we try to do a family activity on Saturday usually in the morning
[speaker002:] um-hum right and then the family home evening too
[speaker001:] right and then you know sometimes we try to do our lesson on Sunday night and then our activity or something on Monday but
[speaker002:] right
[speaker001:] we're it's real important to us to spend time together
[speaker002:] well that's good um how many children do you have
[speaker001:] I have two
[speaker002:] two what what do you have
[speaker001:] um-hum I have a girl and a boy and the boy's five he's in kindergarten and the girl is four she'll be in kindergarten next year
[speaker002:] five and four
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] I have two daughters
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] my oldest is uh four and my youngest is about to turn three
[speaker001:] hum uh-huh
[speaker002:] two girls and they are a handful
[speaker001:] they are a handful
[speaker002:] yes we we've my uh well when we first got married my wife worked for a year then we decided to have kids
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] and uh she she got pregnant and then we decided she would stay home with the kids we would make that sacrifice it is a financial sacrifice to make because we go from two incomes down to one
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and uh we made that decision and uh so she after she had the first baby she stayed home and and we had a second baby and she's still at home
[speaker001:] yes
[speaker002:] and so uh you know at work a lot of people are you know I think well this is not a normal situation anymore in our in our world we live in most of them uh continue to work if they have have kids
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] I only have one other person I know in my in my group here that works where the wife stays home and that's because of religious values as well they're Baptists and they and they think that's important
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] but everybody else works and they drop their kids off at day care and and leave them and I don't know I just don't want I just don't want strangers raising my children
[speaker001:] well no and it's it's just not um it's not as stable for the kids and they everybody decided to come over and talk to me right now but uh it's yeah
[speaker002:] right that's how it is at our house when you're on the phone oh it's open anything goes when mom's on the phone
[speaker001:] well it's also important I think um for my husband I I try to go out of my way to to plan things that he can do with the kids because
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] since I am home with them and so I get a lot of time with them he needs to have um some time with them so he when he comes home he um you know it's his job at night he puts the kids to bed and he reads
[speaker002:] right right
[speaker001:] to them and he he spends about an hour doing that and that's that's pretty good quality time with them and um but it's hard for him on Saturdays he he wants
[speaker002:] right with all the yard work and things like that
[speaker001:] right he wants to run out and get things done and so um I try to say well why don't you go fly kites or why don't you do something and
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] if I have something in mind then he he remembers that that's what he wants to do
[speaker002:] um-hum right we feel that you know just spending time together you don't necessarily have to be doing anything you know that costs money or or you know that requires you to go a great distance or anything like that it's just the kids like to being together as a family
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] like last Saturday we went had some errands to run and so we took the kids and and we went by the Farmers Market down in in down there in Garland
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and they had a blast running around the Farmers Market looking at all the you know the food and tasting all the free samples they were giving out and they had a little pen there with animals in they could pet you know and they liked that and
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] then on the way home we drove by the local high school and there happened to be an FA FAA Future Farmers FA Future Farmers of America FFA
[speaker001:] yes
[speaker002:] going on there and they had all kinds of pigs and horses and goats and sheep and everything you know all out in this in the in this schoolyard there so we just said hey let's stop and
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and the kids got to go around and you know see pigs and animals and things like that and and for them that's wonderful you know they they they thought it was the greatest fun you know and it didn't cost any money and uh you don't have quite as much money when when the wife doesn't work
[speaker001:] well that's right but I do think um you know like the current trends are that um the family unit is devaluated it's not nearly as important we find that
[speaker002:] right
[speaker001:] you know back just even fifty years ago when people had had financial problems the fir st place they went to was their family and families took care of themselves and um
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] but now you know people don't they don't support each other that way
[speaker002:] right right oh definitely motherhood is devalued in this society society if you're stay home and you're a mother it's like what a waste people think you know you should be fulfilling yourself and and a mother isn't an important
[speaker001:] um-hum that's right and
[speaker002:] important thing as as having a career and and that should be first and and children second but they don't have kind of an what we call an internal perspective of things that
[speaker001:] right right right and it's not an easy sacrifice for a person to make because you know I you know I have interests
[speaker002:] no right
[speaker001:] that too and it is hard to make uh those interests not be as a major part of my life
[speaker002:] uh at this point it's not to say that some day you won't go back to work my mother's a school teacher and
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and when when we started uh having kids she had to work for a little while but then she just started substituting
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] so she would just substitute once or twice a week you know just for that little extra money when we were in school then we would just come home and just be you know go to a neighbor's house for an hour then she'd be home but she wouldn't do that every day
[speaker001:] right
[speaker002:] but now that my my uh youngest sister's at BYU now and so they have no one at home she's back teaching school full time now again so if you know it's not it's just a temporary thing
[speaker001:] it is temporary it in the middle of it it seems like a long time but you're right it is temporary
[speaker002:] um-hum
[speaker001:] well I see that we both share the same belief here that it's important that we spend time with our kids and and in spite of
[speaker002:] yeah yeah  yeah you it's it's hard sometimes at work because you know people say oh we're taking a cruise we're going here we're going there you know because they have a lot more money
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and a lot of them decide just not to have children it's it's amazing they either have one or none
[speaker001:] yes that's true
[speaker002:] and and the one person I know that has one they they feel guilty she has this continual guilt trip that she's not doing the right thing and so on uh on weekends she would you know spend all of their time with their kids and spend lots of lots and lots of money basically I think they they really spoil the child to try to overcompensate for their guilt feelings
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] and and and they don't want to have anymore children because they just don't think you know that she doesn't think she could be a mother at home that's not her bag so she just doesn't think she could you know the guilt feelings she can't deal with with it anymore so
[speaker001:] yes well it is the hardest thing I've ever done as much as you'd go out
[speaker002:] you know um-hum yeah my wife uh
[speaker001:] and
[speaker002:] likes staying home
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] uh she works at home some though
[speaker001:] uh-huh
[speaker002:] the place she works with worked with before um worked out an arrangement with her where she can work at home
[speaker001:] well that's good
[speaker002:] part time and so uh that it's kind of a seasonal thing three times a year she's really busy doing certain things based on that kind of business but the rest of the time she's free
[speaker001:] um-hum
[speaker002:] she likes to sew and do crafts and things like that so she enjoys staying at home but uh the money part of it is not as rewarding obviously but
[speaker001:] no
[speaker002:] there's different rewards you know different kinds of rewards
[speaker001:] yeah I think so I think it's an investment in your future even if it's purely not not religious you can at least say that it's important to our country that our family unit stays strong
[speaker002:] right right right and you really have to make a quite a bit of money the wife doesn't make it worth it with the cost of day care
[speaker001:] um-hum yes
[speaker002:] I know there's you know when you adjust your income for what you put out for day care you know you're only making like five