[Richard:] Shandy
[speaker002:] And then Ida's rung to say that er our buyers have just rung him to say they've a, got the cash, agreed and its all sorted out.
[Richard:] So basically your moving in about four weeks time
[speaker002:] No, we've got to exchange by then, we'll have done it by then, but
[Richard:] So that means party time.
[speaker002:] no it will not mean party time... but any way that's not bad
[Richard:] You're for ever stuffing your face did you know that?
[speaker002:] You got erm, you're off next week aren't you?
[Richard:] aha
[speaker002:] Well you'll have to be here for the surveyor alright?, the only thing is last week, Jean said that when the surveyor came last time they took all the carpets up... so you might, they might have to do that you'll have to protect the dog cos [LAUGHTER] he might not like seeing his carpet pulled up, mm
[Richard:] mm, mm
[speaker004:] That is disgusting
[speaker002:] okay
[Richard:] Why?
[speaker002:] Because exchange of contracts
[Richard:] So what nineteen thousand paid?
[speaker002:] mm...
[Richard:] mm could prove difficult... but how can you pay that much off?... does if, I suppose if they
[speaker002:] I think we have, I think it's done as a, as part of a new mortgage I think.
[Richard:] what's there to put, took an extra twenty thousand on from the beginning? So are nan and granddad totally for the idea and everything and moving now?
[speaker002:] Yeah say so.
[Richard:] Er we going to have a look round the house one more time?
[speaker002:] No Richard, not before we exchange contracts and we actually move in I don't think.
[Richard:] Why?
[speaker002:] Well we might do, might too, full contracts signed just to get some measurements.
[Richard:] The measurements are already there
[speaker002:] No, not accurate we don't know the size of the windows and curtains do we?
[Richard:] Ah, can you imagine trying to curtain that big room, the dining, the ballroom bit
[speaker002:] Drawing room
[Richard:] Drawing room, whatever it's called, it's huge, it has windows all the way round, it has bow windows innit?
[speaker002:] No it's window er blind window with a bay window at the side.
[Richard:] You have to keep the erm, [tut], what's the name of the stuff? Er floor tiles down, wooden floor tiles.
[speaker002:] Not floor tiles, they're wooden flooring
[Richard:] What do you mean wooden floor? Floor tiles.
[speaker002:] Not tiles
[Richard:] So what are they?
[speaker002:] They're wood strip flooring
[Richard:] Are they expensive?
[speaker002:] the actual flooring
[Richard:] They expensive?
[speaker002:] Well
[Richard:] If you polish those up we can keep them
[speaker002:] I'm going to
[Richard:] so we're not having carpets down?
[speaker002:] no, rugs, large rugs
[Richard:] Well, then, exactly that's not going to cost much is it?
[speaker002:] Er yeah, yes
[Richard:] Cost less than carpets
[speaker002:] No Nigel looked, looked at er, er rug and it was erm... sort of like ten by six and that was three hundred and fifty pounds
[Richard:] Yeah, expensive, but you get that from work
[speaker002:] Not a lot of it
[Richard:] it's not a great deal, hassle, but the garden's gonna look good when we've finished it, get in the straight first day in we'll hack down the back tree.
[speaker002:] Nanna wants to have all the er plants picked out of the greenhouse and erm have them all in the trays and up to us by the end of May before they go away on holiday.
[Richard:] Where they going?
[speaker002:] Erm... forgotten now, somewhere rural Spain
[Richard:] Oh god
[speaker002:] you know it's not, not, it's not like Benidorm or anything like that it's... it's somewhere like, it's about seven miles away from the sea, but as I said they
[Richard:] Seven?
[speaker002:] Well they don't want to go to the sea, erm
[Richard:] Ah
[speaker002:] they've got, they've got a swimming pool so that's all they need
[Richard:] I suppose so
[speaker002:] and lots of nice walks around, things which
[Richard:] How long are they going for?...
[speaker002:] Dunno, about a week, ten days I think
[Richard:] Yeah, that's not bad.
[speaker002:] but they want to go, bring all the trays of plants over
[Richard:] A hundred, hundred odd
[speaker002:] before before they go, so, so the greenhouse is empty
[Richard:] so all hundred odd?
[speaker002:] Oh, they have more than that I think.
[Richard:] So in other words they're gonna bring its new place?
[speaker002:] Mm, well if we move, hopefully we wou would of moved by then.
[Richard:] So how we gonna get hundred a hundred odd trays down to us? Have to hire a van?
[speaker002:] No, nan and granddad can bring one lot up and my mum and dad can fetch a few bits... and then just keep bringing bits back, I mean
[Richard:] Yes, I suppose so
[speaker002:] it's not that much of a bother, the pain is having to dig them all in that's the trouble
[Richard:] Has he done loads this year?
[speaker002:] Well at least they haven't done as many as they did, they did last year but they, it looks a lot to me
[Richard:] Oh, why haven't they done as many as last year?
[speaker002:] Probably because they had quite a lot left over and didn't
[Richard:] They didn't, we used them all
[speaker002:] I know but
[Richard:] we'll certainly be needing them this year, cos the garden's bare.
[speaker002:] Yes, we went round up to the manor house
[Richard:] God it's expensive there
[speaker002:] I know, they've got some lovely things
[Richard:] aquarium are
[speaker002:] Oh we didn't bother going in the aquarium
[Richard:] Oh
[speaker002:] erm
[Richard:] it's nice
[speaker002:] there was some really nice things, there was erm, some of those lovely erm variegated erm, what do you call them things?
[Richard:] Plants
[speaker002:] Weeping figs, weeping, weeping figs, we had one at er Hertford Road and it died
[Richard:] It died, oh that big thing we had outside?
[speaker002:] No, the one that was, no not that one, that, that's another nice one, but, no it's er, in the side of the erm
[Richard:] Mm
[speaker002:] the fireplace, you know the, where the planter was
[Richard:] I, I know the one yeah
[speaker002:] that one there and it died, mind you it didn't get enough light that was really why
[Richard:] Probably cost a fortune all the plants at Ruxley, Ruxley is not a good place to go
[speaker002:] Oh there's some smashing things there though
[Richard:] Yeah, but look at the prices though
[speaker002:] Well I know but it
[Richard:] cos they, that's the only good garden centre around that's, that's why they cost so much
[speaker002:] No Pole Hill's nice
[Richard:] No, it's not as big there
[speaker002:] we were gonna go down there, but erm nan and granddad had been down there about a fortnight ago and they said they hadn't got a lot out yet, they said they wouldn't be out for about another three weeks, so about
[Richard:] Mm
[speaker002:] next week, but Ruxley had quite a few seeds out and erm, Nana was gonna buy some and then she said er, she, she'll leave it, she'll go down to Pole Hill first cos they said they'll be out
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] and they're, cos they're slightly cheaper and then if they haven't got any next week then she'll go back up to Ruxley and get them there instead.
[Richard:] She only saves a matter of fifteen P and gets it all back on the petrol
[speaker002:] Well, er, this year instead of sowing their tomato seeds right from, from seeds
[Richard:] Well that's stupid
[speaker002:] she's not going to this year, she's erm, in Ruxley there, there was a little pot of seed that had been sowed and they were ready for pricking out, and er one little pot I think was ninety eight P, but there must of been fifty plants in there easily
[Richard:] Yeah, but she had that many last time
[speaker002:] Well er I was gonna say we don't need, we
[Richard:] she had five hundred sort of flowers
[speaker002:] don't need that many, whereas last year she had so many tomatoes and tomato plants, she didn't know what to do with them
[Richard:] We don't even eat the damn stuff
[speaker002:] thank you, so erm she's going to erm... she'll just pick out some of these then, erm watch it, the ones that she doesn't, the plants that she doesn't need she'll give to Dave, his erm school, his spring fair whatever you call it
[Richard:] Oh, he always gets extra priorities doesn't he? Little David, her apple
[speaker002:] Oh yes
[Richard:] in her eye
[speaker002:] No, she's, he's not the apple of her eye, at all.
[Richard:] Did she miss me?
[speaker002:] Caroline apparently asked erm Nana if the boys were coming up
[Richard:] Ha
[speaker002:] but Caroline's half term is not until the week after next
[Richard:] Week after next?
[speaker002:] it's David's the next week and Caroline's the week after
[Richard:] Oh
[speaker002:] cos she's only got about four weeks before, she goes back and erm
[Richard:] Well she hasn't she's got different
[speaker002:] it must be three weeks since she
[Richard:] exams time, date, I think we're having it the earliest of the lot, for some stupid reason because Mel doesn't appear to be having them till late either.
[speaker002:] Why when's hers?
[Richard:] Her's is late May, they start
[speaker002:] You'll find quite a few of yours will be May
[Richard:] No the majority of mine will be finished by May the twenty fourth
[speaker002:] I think, I think you're kidding yourself
[Richard:] I'm not, it's only over a two week period, they're jammed in, I'm getting in several days, all I have is three exams
[speaker002:] I still think you'll find you'll have some in May
[Richard:] No, no
[speaker002:] Well you'll have to wait and see won't you?
[Richard:] No, not many at all but, yeah, that's ridiculous Caroline's down then
[speaker002:] But it means that she, she has a, a week's holiday and I think she's back for about three weeks and then breaks up again at school
[Richard:] Mm
[speaker002:] er Easter, so and then she'll have I think three weeks Easter
[Richard:] Mm
[speaker002:] and then I think she's back for, erm... I think she gets back, she misses one Monday this Bank, Bank Holiday, that's, that's four days and then, she does, I think she's got another two, three weeks and I suppose she'll be, well she'll be doing GCSEs anyway
[Richard:] Mm
[speaker002:] so she's hardly going to be there
[Richard:] Mm
[speaker002:] it's a funny way of doing it really
[Richard:] Well Mel, Mel's been er holiday is this week, next week coming
[speaker002:] Mm, got Dave's in next week?
[Richard:] erm off today as well, so... that's why, but that, that's I suppose is late as well
[speaker002:] Well erm quite a few of the London children were off
[Richard:] Mm, there's a lot of people who've erm, I mean a lot of s all the T V companies are putting programmes on for next week
[speaker002:] Mm
[Richard:] for people, kids being off, so it's obvious the rest of the country's off that week, and so it's probably only a few limited schools
[speaker002:] Dorset, Dorset always has the early
[Richard:] is a pain in the arse, warm in here
[speaker002:] Mm
[Richard:] innit? So er it's stupid... well there you go, what's for dinner by the way?
[speaker002:] I haven't decided yet
[Richard:] Mm, cos Morris is coming down isn't he?
[speaker002:] Oh I know, it'll only be fish fingers and chips or fish steaks and chips
[Richard:] Oh not chips again, please not chips again
[speaker002:] Well I haven't been here to have chips Richard
[Richard:] I've had four lots of chips this week and I'm getting fed up with chips
[speaker002:] You like chips you keep telling me
[Richard:] I've had three lots of pizza this week and I'm getting fed up with pizza
[speaker002:] Well that's up to you Richard, you can't eat, you had chow mein last night, what did you have?
[Richard:] I had chow mein last night
[speaker002:] Well that's right then
[Richard:] but I had pizza yesterday, lunch
[speaker002:] Oh lucky you
[Richard:] Not lucky me I can't stand it after a while.
[speaker002:] You don't have to eat it Richard, could of had er sandwiches.
[Richard:] We went fishing by the way
[speaker002:] I know you come back in the afternoon
[Richard:] pathetic, it's gonna freeze up again this afternoon down at Bournemouth, gonna have fish off the pier, go for some bees, but I couldn't be bothered [yawning] but [] there was nothing, it was too damn cold, it must of been minus five with the wind chill factor
[speaker002:] Mm
[Richard:] absolutely horrendous, oh by the way you didn't thank me for getting those yoghurts did you?
[speaker002:] I asked Colin anyway
[Richard:] Well he didn't remember, I did
[speaker002:] Gee whiz thank you
[Richard:] Well you wouldn't of got them if it wasn't for me
[speaker002:] No go and make us a cup of tea would you please?
[Richard:] Mm, get one in a minute
[speaker002:] No, get one now please
[Richard:] Yeah alright, alright
[speaker002:] Don't be silly, and erm... he just, he just said er... that erm... that I've, either he put the phone down from talking to me... the agent, our agent rang him, tell us that our buyer has got the cash agreed.
[Richard:] I know
[speaker002:] I don't know whether I told you, I can't remember or not
[Richard:] Yes you have
[speaker002:] Oh, you could of said
[Richard:] he's in a foul temper isn't he... today?
[speaker002:] No he just doesn't like being taped
[Richard:] Oh its stupid Just talk look
[speaker005:] What with a mouthful?
[Richard:] come on you
[speaker005:] I don't wish to talk thank you very much
[Richard:] Oh you're a doctor you're supposed to talk
[speaker002:] Richard would you like a chunk of cheese?
[Richard:] No thank you
[speaker002:] Not quite of that, I'll have another one
[speaker005:] Who's that whistling?... Who you giving
[Richard:] er
[speaker006:] told me not she's taping anybody else, tape it as a Walkman, but I don't know how she can, because you're not allowed to what
[Richard:] you're basically supposed, goes Longman's, Longman's dictionary
[speaker006:] But the, the dictionary of the nineties you see, they give one to every age group, but not unless, there's no point in giving one to anybody particularly
[Richard:] No
[speaker006:] because, I mean
[Richard:] they're basically
[speaker006:] they're gonna be talking in a language about our present era aren't they?
[Richard:] But erm... you get paid twenty five quid for doing it, so
[speaker006:] Tapes not bad
[Richard:] it's worth about that
[speaker006:] They started, they started in one place and they just there, I mean, ha
[Richard:] Well she collared me yesterday, unfortunately, so I've gotta do it until
[speaker006:] Unfortunately, well just a minute, well Richard I need that money, yeah, it's five pound now
[Richard:] Well so do I, I need a lot of money, a lot a lot of money
[speaker006:] So do I... good job granny sent me ten, ten pounds
[speaker005:] [singing] Money is the root of all evil []
[speaker006:] Dad, please.
[Richard:] Save it
[speaker006:] Don't write my name anywhere near his
[speaker005:] ah hey
[Richard:] So you're basically going to erm, you're not going to get rid of me
[speaker005:] I'm going to swell at
[Richard:] yes, I'm not going, I'm only, I'll still be here at the weekend
[speaker007:] Ha ha
[Richard:] no, I'm not leaving, I'm still here for
[speaker007:] Oh good, oh
[speaker005:] It's, we're having a tent in the back garden
[speaker007:] Oh get, you're not are you?
[Richard:] No I'll commute every day
[speaker007:] Every day?
[Richard:] as if, er Saturday and Sunday
[speaker007:] And all holidays?
[Richard:] Yeah...
[speaker007:] Oh I don't see why you just sleep out in the garden or something
[Richard:] Ah
[speaker007:] and you can study in there
[Richard:] what I'm gonna do
[speaker007:] What?
[Richard:] no, I mean commute, good morning Jane
[speaker007:] Don't speak then
[speaker006:] Hi Richard
[Richard:] Oh thank you Jane nice to know somebody's going to be polite this morning
[speaker007:] I said hello Richard, I said hello Richard where's my money?
[speaker006:] no
[speaker007:] Jane that's what mum's doing some
[speaker006:] Oh how sad...
[speaker007:] Can I say really horrible things now?
[Richard:] No you're not supposed to because it's still recording, you basically be polite and
[speaker007:] Oh Richard I love having you round here, when you come in like a light in the dark [LAUGHTER] how I enjoy your painting, your polite conversations, the way that you move it's all so
[Richard:] True
[speaker007:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] magnifico
[Richard:] Oh thanks a lot Oh you're disappointed now aren't you, that I, coming back, it's really upset you
[speaker007:] That you're coming back?
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker007:] Yeah
[Richard:] I'm not going, I'm not leaving
[speaker007:] Why not Richard?
[Richard:] no way
[speaker007:] Can't you? Do you really like living round here?
[Richard:] Yes, I have a job here
[speaker007:] Yes, but you don't get paid do you pay Richard?
[speaker005:] No
[speaker007:] Good
[speaker005:] no I didn't, I stopped paying because
[speaker007:] if you want to waste your money that's up to you
[Richard:] It's really
[speaker007:] your work
[speaker005:] because he's playing table tennis all the time now
[speaker007:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] I've really enjoyed doing it
[speaker007:] This is like a lady slob
[speaker006:] If I don't do any work over the weekend they all moan at me, if you don't because you're always round here nothing is said
[speaker005:] He don't get paid
[Richard:] But I work very hard during the week
[speaker007:] What a load of rubbish
[speaker006:] So do I
[speaker007:] I don't work hard at, but never mind
[speaker006:] Don't, don't you all agree that I work hard during the week?
[speaker007:] No I don't, sweet
[speaker006:] Sweet nothing
[Richard:] Er, er, are you going to sort of give me a timetable that I can read through to the phone and that it's not booked up
[speaker006:] What? What?
[speaker007:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] Mm
[Richard:] three quarters of an hour last week
[speaker007:] Shut up Richard, that's a sore subject
[speaker005:] Yeah, we noticed
[speaker007:] Yeah, yeah, shut up
[speaker005:] and then this, this, the phone went and I picked it up and this squeaky voice at the end of the phone said I thought who the hell's that
[speaker006:] Wasn't that me?
[speaker007:] Yeah that's Jane
[speaker005:] Yeah that's
[speaker007:] Jane didn't say anything
[speaker005:] Jane did say something
[speaker007:] oh well I'm glad
[Richard:] Just [LAUGHTER] oh it's nice to be, he say glad and happy I was moving
[speaker005:] I thought you never and then, then, then he got confused because
[speaker007:] What happened?
[speaker005:] Jane kept talking to him, but it sounded remarkably like David
[speaker007:] Oh well
[speaker006:] who was, who was it David?... Was it Clare?
[speaker007:] No?
[Richard:] It doesn't bother me
[speaker005:] Who was it then?
[speaker007:] Somebody for me
[speaker006:] It was dad ringing
[speaker005:] It damn
[speaker007:] No it wasn't, it was Simon
[speaker005:] it damn well sounded like David to me
[speaker006:] Oh
[speaker007:] It was, it was my friend Simon
[speaker005:] It certainly didn't sound like your friend Simon and he certainly didn't put on a silly voice like that silly twit did
[Richard:] No, that's his normal voice, ow [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] so erm sugar
[Richard:] No Do you want it?
[speaker007:] No
[Richard:] Not really Why not?
[speaker005:] Can somebody tell me where the sugar is please?
[speaker007:] It's in the sitting room by Louise
[speaker005:] what the hell's it doing in there?
[speaker007:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] What did you say Richard?
[Richard:] I've saved my money as much as possible
[speaker006:] What for?
[Richard:] I'm opening my own business so I need a lot of money
[speaker006:] Opening what?
[speaker007:] Opening your own business are you?
[Richard:] Yep
[speaker007:] What in?
[Richard:] Aquatic retail
[speaker007:] What
[speaker005:] Do you mind bringing it back here
[speaker006:] it wasn't me it was Louise
[speaker002:] Clare
[speaker007:] Yeah
[Richard:] yeah, this is a good thing for the tape innit?
[speaker007:] What?
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] What you going to call this one, domestic bliss?
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] I, oh yeah [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] So er what do you think I should call my business?
[speaker006:] Richard
[speaker005:] I dunno, she's trying to
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] But erm
[speaker005:] What you should call your business?
[speaker007:] How do I know that that bath towel needs washing?...
[speaker005:] What shall you call your business? Erm
[speaker007:] Ha Static Aquatic
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Well it's more likely to be yours as well you see
[speaker005:] My business as well is it?
[Richard:] have to persuade you
[speaker005:] Oh I see
[speaker006:] Dad's going into business? Can I be a shareholder?
[Richard:] if you pay some money, yes
[speaker006:] Well that's what shareholders usually do
[speaker005:] He can be, he can be a fish if you like
[speaker006:] Yeah but when do I get my sh my money back?
[speaker005:] Ha, you don't
[Richard:] When I make a profit
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] Profit, how much? Do I get more profit than I paid in?
[Richard:] Depends how well the business is doing
[speaker005:] We shall get, we shall, we shall
[speaker006:] Well, well I'll become a shareholder after I've seen how
[speaker007:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] What, what will happen is that, is that Richard and I will be, will be found in er in some sort of, two million pound yacht off the, off the Canary Islands, sort of
[Richard:] Ha, you get ready to jump, plunge off the side
[speaker005:] in, in what you might call hot water
[speaker006:] I have faith in your erm... in your business instinct Richard, but not, but not enough to put money on it till I see them
[Richard:] Oh that's quite honest, it's perfectly normal, but erm, I'm trying to persuade your dad to buy forty percent of the shares
[speaker006:] What?
[speaker007:] What a load of rubbish
[speaker006:] no, one percent
[Richard:] that'll only cost you a small amount
[speaker007:] Ha
[Richard:] small amount of
[speaker005:] A small fortune [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] Bull
[Richard:] What?
[speaker007:] Bull
[Richard:] Bull what?
[speaker007:] that won't cost a little bit
[Richard:] It will cost a little bit
[speaker007:] Like how much?
[speaker005:] You can call it
[Richard:] Don't know yet
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] Like how much?
[speaker005:] he could sort of call it
[speaker007:] Fish
[speaker005:] Dick's Tickle
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Could call that yeah
[speaker002:] That's a good one, that's a good'un, I like that
[speaker006:] No it's a
[speaker007:] no
[speaker006:] No, no
[speaker002:] I like that one, yeah
[speaker007:] Dick's Tickle's good [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] That's a good one
[speaker007:] Dick's Tackle...
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] Please don't come here
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Er I'm gonna have an interview with a guy next week about some stuff, so I should find out, I have had three replies from the fifteen I've sent out, I sent out another five last night this is
[speaker006:] What, what to?
[Richard:] Companies
[speaker006:] What for?
[Richard:] Information on
[speaker006:] What about? er you serious about this?
[Richard:] Of course I am
[speaker002:] Are you Richard?
[speaker007:] I think he's mad
[Richard:] Of course I am
[speaker002:] Er Jane are you washing Chloe? Shampooing her?
[speaker006:] I hardly think so, seeing as I'm going out in approximately two minutes
[speaker007:] She's had, she's just come in with that
[speaker002:] Well you two can do it when you get back from the walk, just left me to do it
[speaker006:] No I doesn't I do it when I get back
[speaker007:] No, you do, more than halfway through or something
[speaker002:] want to do it as soon as possible no point in going
[Richard:] Of course it does
[speaker002:] heading off to the vet
[Richard:] of course it's serious it's costing me two and a half grand at least
[speaker007:] Eh?
[Richard:] I'm not joking, spending a fortune
[speaker007:] You are?
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker007:] And you're expecting dad to spend that as well?
[Richard:] No, don't be stupid
[speaker006:] Dad
[speaker007:] Is dad paying about forty pounds then?
[Richard:] What you will?
[speaker007:] No dad
[Richard:] I don't know how much he's paying, I don't even know if he wants to do it yet, it's me who's got to talk to firms I've gotta think of a name though, I like that actually
[speaker007:] What?
[Richard:] The boyfriend
[speaker007:] No
[Richard:] I like that, that's good
[speaker007:] You won't get any of my share if you do
[speaker006:] You won't get any customers let alone her
[speaker005:] customers?
[Richard:] What are customers?
[speaker005:] Oh customers or I thought you said gostermers
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] I thought
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] That's quite good for you, yeah, not bad... oh good it is recording, erm
[speaker006:] How are you paying? Is this your Walkman then Richard?
[Richard:] No they gave it to me
[speaker007:] They give you a Walkman, they give you tape, they give you batteries, I told you all that Jane
[speaker006:] Do you get to keep it?
[Richard:] No
[speaker007:] You've got no mind at all, she doesn't take anything in, she's like a sieve
[Richard:] So I give you the address the, the tel telephone number, you can ring her up
[speaker007:] Thank you, I don't know if I can be bothered for twenty five pounds, no I would if she asked me, but I don't know if I'll bother ringing up as well
[Richard:] Oh god
[speaker006:] What for? What for?
[speaker007:] I can't just ring up and say hi two of my, well a friend and an acquaintance
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] [LAUGHTER] are doing this, this thing, can I do it?
[Richard:] Let's face it we all do
[speaker007:] Well do it the same time because we're in the same class and speak to all the same people and we'd get all the same results
[Richard:] So what, you get twenty five quid for it
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]... It's not a
[Richard:] that's what I'm gonna do, stupid
[speaker007:] I reckon that you'll get mega bucks because you're [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] I reckon you'll get mega bucks because you're a
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER] Oh god
[speaker007:] all that chronic jargon for you [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] What for?
[speaker005:] This is the erm, the er, the, the choice of
[speaker007:] Don't mention the name
[speaker005:] of, of the, the
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]...
[speaker007:] no it's not, mum says you've got to fill in a form and say who's talked and how old we are and
[Richard:] Yeah that's, that, but doesn't realize who it is when
[speaker007:] No
[speaker005:] Did you have to sign the Official Secrets Act?
[speaker002:] No
[speaker007:] My name is Tamsin [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Dad's not allowed to take it to work unfortunately so
[speaker007:] Why not?
[Richard:] Cos he can affect some, all the stuff is secret
[speaker007:] ooh
[Richard:] It's a pain
[speaker007:] it's the same with dad then isn't it?
[Richard:] Do what?
[speaker007:] Dad couldn't take it because it's confidential
[Richard:] Yeah, right
[speaker007:] Mm
[Richard:] Ah Louise here comes the star of the show
[speaker007:] Hello
[speaker006:] The star of the show, the idiot of the place
[speaker007:] come in please then
[Richard:] You're looking very smart
[speaker006:] No she don't she's right repulsive
[speaker007:] Richard just because the tape's on doesn't mean to say you've got to lie
[Richard:] I wasn't lying
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER] Richard you're a liar
[speaker002:] Are you leaving all this mess
[speaker007:] I'm not leaving any mess
[speaker006:] I've not left any mess, don't look at me I'm not the messy one
[speaker007:] Mess
[speaker002:] Bye Chloe I've got to go
[speaker006:] mum
[speaker007:] Oh, I start doing a different language then
[speaker005:] chance will be a fine thing
[speaker007:] What?
[Richard:] Mum can you get my
[speaker005:] I go never to return
[Richard:] Are we off now dad?
[speaker002:] Off? Off?
[speaker005:] Absolutely
[speaker002:] Here
[speaker007:] Now then Richard, by the way tape this person
[speaker006:] no I didn't
[speaker005:] When they ring this erm... these chats or whatever
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker005:] er quite a lot of the time we cause so much fuss the blokes are ringing here.
[Richard:] Well dad that's the best way of doing it
[speaker005:] Well it's not because, because I object to the phone being taken out of commission for that length of time
[Richard:] Oh yeah so yeah so do I, oh exactly
[speaker005:] I think that's downright rude
[Richard:] And it is a problem
[speaker005:] and er, and er other people can't ring in, they just give up if they
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker005:] you, if you try once or twice fine, but you just give up.
[Richard:] I must of tried probably fifteen times last night to get through.
[speaker005:] Well that's, that's just, just can't predict and, to have it going on time after time after time, it's bad, bad form for, for the phone, and the bill and all concerned
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker005:] but to me it's just, it's just slack behaviour as far as I'm concerned
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker005:] if you see each other several times during the day
[Richard:] Exactly
[speaker005:] I think, then what on earth does he want to be on the phone for that length of time for.
[Richard:] Oh I agree
[speaker005:] Okay if you want a private conversation well go and have a private conversation, but borrow, borrow the code of silence from or get smart or something
[Richard:] Exactly, yes, true
[speaker005:] Mm
[Richard:] oh yeah, yes, I agree, if for too long it does add up
[speaker005:] It gets up my nose
[Richard:] I'm not altogether surprised, but
[speaker005:] I do it every now and again, I want a private conver conversation with one of the, one of my colleagues
[Richard:] No question you're doing, exactly needed
[speaker005:] but I mean you I erm
[Richard:] You have to it is your phone
[speaker005:] unfortunately that, that, tends to be therapeutic, I, whereas, well they've just got these, these business like these, these two silly blokes who erm
[Richard:] You've got Jane as well
[speaker005:] What?
[Richard:] Jane and Clare now is it?
[speaker005:] No Jane's not, but she well
[Richard:] She speaks to her friends quite a lot
[speaker005:] they start to ring their friends up when they've just left them during the day, fine
[Richard:] Well that is stupid
[speaker005:] if you want a bit of information, if you want to find out what page you're supposed to be doing your homework from or
[Richard:] It's alright if it's a three minute call like you say
[speaker005:] Fine, I don't mind
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker005:] but it just goes on and on and on, over what did so and so said, oh no
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker005:] dear, dear [sniff]
[Richard:] exactly
[speaker005:] just natter and natter all the time
[Richard:] I don't start doing it, I, well don't blame you, yeah. You see I get erm
[speaker005:] Well just downright rude
[Richard:] I think it's ridiculous of Alistair but he, it is his business, you see, I'm gonna use the phone a hell of a lot when I get mine going, but I will
[speaker005:] But in that case if you're going to have that, then you've a right to have two lines in the house
[Richard:] Exactly
[speaker005:] and use one as a business line
[Richard:] Exactly
[speaker005:] and one as a pleasure line
[Richard:] Exactly and that's what I'm gonna do, exactly
[speaker005:] if there's anything you can do
[Richard:] Yep, I agree, exactly and that's the only way you can do it cos then you, you don't get any problems that the call's been er interacting
[speaker005:] Yes
[Richard:] exactly, it's the only way you can do it and I wouldn't do it any other way, because I don't bel I don't, I don't think it's fair, if I was using the phone continually I'd get rather annoyed, I mean that I'd, they'd have a right to be annoyed, but as I don't I think it's ridiculous so I'm not hardly surprised at all, so I think it's stupid as you say, but there you go.
[speaker005:] Er perhaps put a pay phone in, but of course
[Richard:] Oh, why don't you put a pay lock on?
[speaker005:] Well because er
[Richard:] Mum and dad have threatened that regularly
[speaker005:] Well I mean the trouble is that
[Richard:] Watch
[speaker005:] I went round,wha wha wha what's all this front seat driving?
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]...
[speaker005:] I would of seen it
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] by the time I'd got to the next one
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Exactly [], so what were you saying? You do er, what?...
[speaker005:] I forgot what I say now, it's all this intense recording that's putting me off
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] You were saying about the phone, you were, you were thinking about doing whatever
[speaker005:] I went to see a patient, a, a, a woman who's husband had died they're a pa a pain because you want to ring nine nine you've got to take the darn lock off, there's er trying to
[Richard:] Yeah... but would you need that? Why not keep the phones such as the main one downstairs and the other one as open, I mean as closed and have your own personal one upstairs, in your room or whatever well I, as I say I've got a, see I'm, you have this
[speaker005:] You've got to have a phone that, that's going to ring, ring through with the erm... the patient, need to be on the er there, don't we?
[Richard:] Yes, that's, that's the, that's the way to do it
[speaker005:] The only reason we've got several phones is that we, because if you don't, you don't hear them
[Richard:] or why don't you have erm, get the girls to pay a percentage of the bill, get them to note down all the calls they make and work it out, that's a way of doing it
[speaker005:] What with?
[Richard:] What do you mean what with?
[speaker005:] What with to pay with?
[Richard:] Money
[speaker005:] Oh money oh
[Richard:] you take it out their pocket money
[speaker005:] They don't get any
[Richard:] Fine
[speaker005:] you take it out their bank accounts, you, that's the only way you can do it, we don't give them pocket money, that's the only way you can do it,
[Richard:] That's the way that mum and dad
[speaker005:] With all these phone calls, we're out of pocket
[Richard:] See we've got four phones in our house and it does add up
[speaker005:] Oh I believe
[Richard:] we've got four phones in our house in operation
[speaker005:] Well the the system only takes four
[Richard:] so we've got that and so I, er, I'm gonna have to, how much does it cost to put your own line in?
[speaker005:] Er, your own line in, I thought you weren't allowed to do that?
[Richard:] I mean there's this line
[speaker005:] Oh I don't know
[Richard:] this is all things I've got to consider when I'm starting this thing
[speaker005:] It'll cost a bit
[Richard:] It's gonna cost me a fair bit to get lines to the house I want... so I've got, er I, the problem is with, as dad was saying this morning, the majority of people when they're starting their business they go to the wall because oh they're going in for the, oh it's gonna be a quick sale
[speaker005:] Mm
[Richard:] and we're gonna get quick turnover and we're gonna start making loads of money easily
[speaker005:] Yes, that does
[Richard:] but you don't
[speaker005:] it all starts off very slowly
[Richard:] Exactly and if, if you can break even in the first two years you're very lucky
[speaker005:] Yes
[Richard:] and that's what I'm gonna be aiming to do, if it, if I break even in two years I'd be happy... cos I've made money back and then I'll be making profit after that, and you won't make it back in the first year, no way
[speaker005:] Don't forget you're only putting, you're only part time, you're pushing to do your work hard
[Richard:] Well mum will be doing, mum'll be the secretary and then I will have someone in to do it
[speaker005:] Oh
[Richard:] I'm paying someone, I'll pay a Y T S guy to do it and that
[speaker005:] Oh
[Richard:] so that's why I need this summer and part of er working during the week, week days to get money to pay for it
[speaker005:] Oh
[Richard:] cos er, I, I'm selling the fish tank for a start, for a hundred
[speaker005:] What?
[Richard:] I'm selling the fish tank to get some money
[speaker005:] Really?
[Richard:] for er, I'm selling that for a hundred and thirty
[speaker005:] No
[Richard:] so, yeah I'm getting rid of that to get some
[speaker005:] Mm
[Richard:] I'm selling my, erm remote control car to get money
[speaker005:] You mean you're selling your fish tank, you can't sell a fish tank
[Richard:] Mm, yeah, I'm selling a fish tank
[speaker005:] No
[Richard:] Yep, to get rid of that
[speaker005:] Oh my god
[Richard:] so that's going for a hundred and thirty pounds
[speaker005:] who's buying that then?
[Richard:] Dunno I, there's a friend of mine and I'm selling it in the pa have to advertise in the paper as well so that money's going to it, I've made, I'm having a word with the bank manager for business facilities and then opening an account with him at the bank to er basically get some extra, a business account going which I don't touch, er I need to get credit facilities done on the bank, accounts and stuff, dad's gonna look through it completely with me and work everything out, but for the next six, seven weeks I'll be too busy with the school work to really concentrate on it, cos exams start at seven weeks time now...
[speaker005:] Yes
[Richard:] so I'm going to be very busy doing the evenings, doing my work.
[speaker005:] Absolutely. Well I don't know
[Richard:] I'm gonna make this work, I'm not rushing into it, I'm, I rush into a lot of things
[speaker005:] I noticed that
[Richard:] but I'm not rushing this time, cos I'm, if, I'm putting, I'm spending two and half thousand pounds on this, I'm not wasting my money
[speaker005:] Yes
[Richard:] cos it's a lot of money... to be perfectly honest
[speaker005:] Right, well we've recorded this for so long, can you use some bigger words now please?
[Richard:] Bigger words?
[speaker005:] Yeah, you need bigger words if it's going into the dictionary
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Some bigger words, what kind of thing, er supercalologilistic
[speaker005:] Er yes it is really, it's a bit too long for me that one though
[Richard:] Erm, protocol, that's a good one
[speaker005:] Only three syllable though
[Richard:] Mm, er what to think, oh I can't think of any words, oh we're going to go off for an interview now anyway. Mm, looks very nice
[speaker005:] Yeah?
[Richard:] Yeah, he's done a great job
[speaker005:] Will won't he?
[Richard:] I like the bit where he's er wrapped the
[speaker005:] little bits all the way round
[Richard:] Yeah, they're brilliant
[speaker005:] Well they were there only, they were there before you see
[Richard:] Oh it looks very much mm snazzy now
[speaker005:] but er oh of course, I mean, er all and nice, clean and varnished, oh good
[Richard:] Well he did varnish it, didn't he?
[speaker005:] Of course he did, yes
[Richard:] So it's worth it for twenty quid innit?
[speaker005:] Twenty five
[Richard:] Or twenty five
[speaker005:] It's good, yes
[Richard:] So
[speaker005:] well excellent
[Richard:] are you going to get all your like that?
[speaker005:] Well I don't need to like that.
[Richard:] So he obviously thought it was worthwhile doing that
[speaker005:] Not really... I just made him do it
[Richard:] Well I liked it
[speaker005:] we gave him the bread and we did it
[Richard:] Exactly, so he's a...
[speaker005:] What? Sorry?
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] It needs to be in the dictionary, bread
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Your definition of money of course, er, eh, well I suppose so, but well, there you go, so. No I think it's
[speaker005:] You send these people twenty five tips full of science, which I normally speak
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] it's what I
[Richard:] Oh well
[speaker005:] what they say then?
[Richard:] I don't know, I suppose you've still got your voucher, I get the voucher next Friday, so
[speaker005:] What about it?
[Richard:] They pay you to do it
[speaker005:] What in a week?
[Richard:] Yes, a week
[speaker005:] You mean a week
[Richard:] I've only got a week to do them
[speaker005:] Cor
[Richard:] so I get paid twenty five
[speaker005:] not long is it?
[Richard:] pounds for doing it
[speaker005:] Really?
[Richard:] Yeah, it's not bad for a go.
[speaker005:] So where are these coming?
[Richard:] Kent, I've dr erm I've written to them so he's gonna send back a erm
[speaker005:] How do you get this then?
[Richard:] price list, well I'd of sent for them, they'll post them to me by Securicor
[speaker005:] What by post?
[Richard:] Yes, it's only a, an hour
[speaker005:] Oh
[Richard:] they post them straight or I'll go and collect them.
[speaker005:] They won't go through a letter box
[Richard:] I'll be at home, idiot, or er, it's in Kent so I can get dad to pick them up for me
[speaker005:] That's true
[Richard:] so I'll get, I'll get all the prices whatever, he's got like thirty six inch coin er
[speaker005:] Mm
[Richard:] Japanese, it's a massive one, one er, it's a thirty thousand gallon erm pond and it's got, and it goes through a filter box and it's four and a half tons of erm four and a half tons and that is a lot of
[speaker005:] I should think it is, what is?
[Richard:] is the stuff that I've got in a little bag, got little bag full
[speaker005:] Oh yes
[Richard:] and that's where the that you've got in your pond
[speaker005:] Oh
[Richard:] that's how much four and a half ton of costs, just ever so slightly, it's more about
[speaker005:] Yes
[Richard:] er, so it's a bit expensive
[speaker005:] Absolutely
[Richard:] but erm, so I'll order them, I'll pay for them when I'm there you can pay back when when I get them
[speaker005:] You won't get them anyway
[Richard:] Of course I'll get them
[speaker005:] there are, they don't sell
[Richard:] Well why do you think they've advertised them? Yes, but they're going and then they've got them in the ponds, they've got them all in their ponds, so they're obviously okay, they're for ponds... so it, I think if we probably get ten, fifteen on the, cos I'm gonna be so used to seeing them, cos I'm gonna be ordering those, I'll order all the carps and you've got as well
[speaker005:] Oh nice
[Richard:] Yes so I'll get hold of some well, if you can get on with doing that thing, sit down and look through those magazines with me and I'll show you the prices that I can get them at retail... I mean at trade, all the prices cos I've got that two and a half thousand gallon job and that is only seventy quid, so I'm just gonna have one of those, I'm gonna have that with a U V A filter and eight er eight watt U V A filter which is fifty quid, that then, which is for one of those tanks which is for three hundred and fifty, but that's not, I've that's
[speaker005:] Oh
[Richard:] retail I haven't worked out trade yet. So that's basically lost about five hundred quid a set
[speaker005:] Oh
[Richard:] thing and that's without a pump, so to set up it'll cost me probably a thousand and a bit and I want and then I'll need to have the rest of the money left over to survive
[speaker005:] Yes
[Richard:] do it that way, but I'm not rushing into this, I'm doing it very, very slowly... cos it ain't worth it with that much money
[speaker003:] ...
[Richard:] To be perfectly honest.
[speaker005:] Seemed to be going down to south coast of the river
[Richard:] Yeah he is isn't he? Wake up mate, get out the middle of the road.
[speaker005:] [sigh] I've got sore wrists again today
[Richard:] Well you shouldn't play tennis on, on er on squash
[speaker005:] probably it's probably been slapped
[Richard:] pathetic, it's ridiculous... I really do.
[speaker005:] You see, well, you know, I think the trouble is what do I say now?
[Richard:] You tell them what you damn well think. I think it's absolutely, I think it's perfectly, thing is I think it's blooming awful... I really do. You don't have to be careful, you obviously have to
[speaker005:] Yes you do
[Richard:] watch their fees, but they haven't watched yours for crying out loud... it's quite obviously, but I think it's, it's ridiculous, because you're looking at doing it that way, the other, it's ridiculous
[speaker005:] Well I mean the erm, I had some bins and all stuff, buy some bins and stuff for the office, she's ordered all sorts of things... I, I had, I, I
[Richard:] Yeah, but it's not gonna go back and get her blamed
[speaker005:] Well this is the trouble you see...
[Richard:] it's erm, it's, it's not fair. If she's gone without asking anybody then, anybody fine, then maybe, maybe reasonable to she's asked you... but then again I don't know the ins and outs of the practice or but I just think it's unfair the way they're treating you. I, if I was you, I'd be extremely pissed, but then again I've got the temperament where I won't sit down and take something if I don't like it.
[speaker005:] Well I've made it not to if, if, if I, if I, if, if they'd ordered, been ordered on my say so, I have made an autonomous decision, well you, there's so many people in that place making autonomous bloody decisions, why shouldn't I do a few?
[Richard:] Exactly
[speaker005:] Aha
[Richard:] it's, it's, it's ridiculous... I just think it's very unfair... that they regard you that way.
[speaker005:] You go for these people and ask for a board and this sort of thing it's just, it just gets to be demeaning, the practice manager should have, should have within a reasonable area to order the things that she feels she wants for herself
[Richard:] Mm
[speaker005:] I'd better go and warn her now I suppose
[Richard:] Yes, it's only fair... yes I would... ah there you go, ah that's gonna ruin her weekend innit?... But it sounds as those, those two probably have the same feelings as you do, when it comes to the crunch they don't make a note
[speaker005:] It's up to the wimps when it comes to the crunch
[Richard:] Exactly, they know, exactly, so why the hell should you be quiet all the time? It's not fair... if you said how, what you feel, then maybe they'll change it... but they're not going to do anything without them knowing you, because they don't know them until you've told them... do they? How can they change it if they don't know what you're feeling? But they probably do they're too bloody erm, insensitive to bother...
[speaker005:] The problem here is, if, if, if, if, the, what's, what's happened is if, if that, if anything gets bought there in the practice, that then is taken out of our remunerations, so if we spend six hundred pounds on the stuff in the prac in, in, in the reception area
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker005:] that then means each partner is then a hundred pounds less for, less pay at the end of the month
[Richard:] Right
[speaker005:] so then they're gonna quibble about it, do you understand that?
[Richard:] Yes, oh yes...
[speaker005:] There isn't so much for the expenses and so on, so, they're gonna sort of start grumbling
[Richard:] Mm
[speaker005:] er, all I've got to do is to get ev every single part ev every single partner because they're a hundred pound less and then I then, I'm up a, up a creak aren't I then?
[Richard:] Mm
[speaker005:] Curses, curses and heavens to done nothing today again, as usual
[Richard:] We're not doing bad
[speaker005:] I've got all the bits and pieces I could
[Richard:] we've got those things there and we've got the erm... garden done. There's a very huge amount we can do in winter
[speaker005:] This is true, yes there is
[Richard:] No there isn't, right what'll we do tomorrow? What do you want to get done tomorrow then?
[speaker005:] I don't know
[Richard:] I'll come dressed looking dirty here tomorrow
[speaker005:] Yes
[Richard:] or something like that
[speaker005:] we need to get something done
[Richard:] Well we'll just have to work very hard tomorrow, tis
[speaker005:] Yes
[Richard:] quite simple
[speaker005:] just so many bits and pieces to do, I need to come and get this to come and give me some further comments
[Richard:] Oh well, wouldn't go to him to be honest
[speaker005:] What?
[Richard:] I wouldn't go to him to be perfectly honest
[speaker005:] Why not?
[Richard:] Because he doesn't appear to do a very good job, he doesn't turn up when, at times, he doesn't ring you to tell why he's not turning up and that sort of person is not a good idea to go for
[speaker005:] No, this is true...
[Richard:] unless you produce contracts, which is cheap, exactly, I'd rather pay for the quality
[speaker005:] Mm, mm well that's of course you've got the money
[Richard:] Well, I think it's worth five hundred pounds then for the quality and the service...
[speaker005:] isn't it?...
[Richard:] Don't chew your nails
[speaker005:] I'm not chewing them...
[Richard:] [whistling]
[speaker005:] Oh dear... well Take ah, erm, take it into the squash club I would think. Take a recording of my abnormal breathing
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Ah you could try that I suppose
[speaker005:] Yeah, would you like to try that?
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] you could sort of wear it while you're playing
[speaker005:] Yes, great idea
[Richard:] What you wanna do is leave it in the squash club, in the actual er court
[speaker005:] Oh yeah, good idea [heavy breathing]
[Richard:] take it down and put it in the bottom of the because then you can get, I can hear you two talking, and see what you're doing during sport, great idea, should try that.
[speaker005:] Three thirty, the only thing about it, you know, I never know if I've got anybody who, who, who, who, who I'll be able to play with you see.
[Richard:] Well wouldn't they tell you?
[speaker005:] No, you write it, you ring in and it all depends on who's about to play
[Richard:] Well you rang in
[speaker005:] No
[Richard:] cos there must be someone there
[speaker005:] no, they put your name down
[Richard:] Oh
[speaker005:] at three thirty, if nobody else rings that wants to play three thirty then there'll be nobody there
[Richard:] Well I'll give you a little knock around
[speaker005:] and usually they're a better, the better players come later on you see
[Richard:] I'll give you a knock around
[speaker005:] Ya ha
[Richard:] if there's nobody else there
[speaker005:] and then what they do is they normally, they normally erm...
[Richard:] Oh it's a bit, good God it's busy today
[speaker005:] change you over you see
[Richard:] Oh it's the Open this afternoon...
[speaker005:] What's the Open?
[Richard:] It's, it's the Open here I mean it's
[speaker005:] The open what?
[Richard:] The erm, the championship
[speaker005:] What?
[Richard:] this afternoon
[speaker005:] Is it?
[Richard:] Yes it is
[speaker005:] I hope not
[Richard:] I do believe so
[speaker005:] No, it won't be because they don't do the, they don't do an open afternoon if it's a championship
[Richard:] I believe
[speaker005:] No, there's nobody here much
[Richard:] What do you mean there's nobody here, it's packed
[speaker005:] No, there's hardly anybody in
[Richard:] Oh well
[speaker005:] they'll be in the pub that lot Getting the ball back within a degree of percentage and be able to get yourself back into position... er you've got to be very careful with that.
[Richard:] Well I think you did very well... much better than last time as it goes
[speaker005:] A bit, a bit good that fella
[Richard:] Oh he's no better than you
[speaker005:] Oh yes he was
[Richard:] No he wasn't
[speaker005:] more accurate
[Richard:] No
[speaker005:] nice, serves into the back, very difficult to get out again
[Richard:] No he wasn't as, as, strong-wise he was hitting as well as you, but he was... he wasn't as, much better than you at all.
[speaker005:] Oh you can't watch yourself play can you?
[Richard:] You are, you, you were very sort of standard-wise
[speaker005:] Yeah
[Richard:] but I thought that you were very good today, much better than before
[speaker005:] Aha
[Richard:] and that I
[speaker005:] it gets a bit better as you get a bit, a bit further on it
[Richard:] Exactly you'll get
[speaker005:] You loosen
[Richard:] You loosen, exactly
[speaker005:] Yeah I did do
[Richard:] lot looser
[speaker005:] my back dropped off mine, ho, ho, ho, ho
[Richard:] You didn't do your back
[speaker005:] No, you're right no, you don't, go on change you beggars, change, yeah, you won't change, ah, ha, ah, ha
[Richard:] Blasted traffic lights
[speaker005:] ah, ha, ah, ha got a cough now [cough]
[Richard:] Oh well my head
[speaker005:] Oh I
[Richard:] I've got a headache
[speaker005:] Oh dear
[Richard:] Pretty vicious actually
[speaker005:] Oh, oh, oh
[Richard:] God knows where it's from or why I've got it, but I have
[speaker005:] Mm, mhm, mhm [sigh]
[Richard:] [sigh] I canna stand
[speaker005:] oh shine
[Richard:] What?
[speaker005:] I've forgot my money, I've forgot my, I want some money out
[Richard:] I'm gonna get stir crazy not being able to play badminton I know, and I score, it's gonna drive me crazy
[speaker005:] Eh [singing] you drive me crazy, crazy []
[Richard:] three months
[speaker005:] [whistling]
[Richard:] hell of a long time
[speaker005:] What?
[Richard:] not to be able to play
[speaker005:] You stop, don't move...
[Richard:] I'm cold
[speaker005:] Why?
[Richard:] Aha, I've been there twice
[speaker005:] Right
[Richard:] been there two weeks ago, are you cold?
[speaker005:] No, I'm hot [whistling]
[Richard:] We had to pay, I did my arm in and I had to damn well pay
[speaker005:] Why?
[Richard:] to go in there
[speaker005:] Why?
[Richard:] Well we parked in the car park... and he charged us in there
[speaker005:] Yeah place, nice place, oh... it's run by National Car Park, N C P, National Car Parks
[Richard:] It's sodding expensive
[speaker005:] Don't move
[Richard:] Yeah don't go, at least we haven't got far to carry if she does
[speaker005:] what down there [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] No I didn't mean that
[speaker005:] Oh dear, he used to belong to the squash club
[Richard:] Who did? Did he?
[speaker005:] Mr
[Richard:] Is he good?
[speaker005:] Taffy, yeah he's alright
[Richard:] Will you give me a game, when er my arm's better?
[speaker005:] Oh crikey, you won't be able to play squash, if you can't play badminton
[Richard:] Why? I can play badminton thank you, even though you've beaten me.
[speaker005:] Come on let's go... oh goodness... yeah have a game if you like
[Richard:] But it won't be for a while
[speaker005:] Right we're off
[Richard:] What do you mean you'll never beat me?
[speaker005:] Come on let's go, [cough] [sniff] oh goodness
[Richard:] Yeah, have a game if you like
[speaker005:] It won't, will it?
[Richard:] End of February, March, April, [yawning] God it's nearly the end of May before I can start playing again []
[speaker005:] Oh look
[Richard:] [yawn]
[speaker005:] don't go into me you bugger will you?
[Richard:] Went down and had a fish at Hills Bay on Wednesday
[speaker005:] Why?
[Richard:] What do you mean why? Cos I wanted to
[speaker005:] You fished in Hills Bay?
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker005:] What with?
[Richard:] Er ragworm
[speaker005:] Oh yes
[Richard:] Not a damn thing, I froze my nuts off, it was freezing.
[speaker005:] Were you the only person fishing in Hills Bay?
[Richard:] Yeah, me and my friend, were
[speaker005:] Oh
[Richard:] the only two
[speaker005:] Is he a good fisherman?
[Richard:] Very
[speaker005:] Is he?
[Richard:] Oh he's got all proper equipment, he is
[speaker005:] and he, he, even he didn't catch anything?
[Richard:] He didn't catch any either.
[speaker005:] Oh, you see you've got to get
[Richard:] We gave up after two hours it was too cold
[speaker005:] got to get me with the
[Richard:] Yeah it was just
[speaker005:] I'm a
[Richard:] just freezing.
[speaker005:] When Ted took me out into the sea, we had fifty fish
[Richard:] Oh God yes in the middle of the sea, yeah, you get loads
[speaker005:] Ah
[Richard:] but we were just down there
[speaker005:] What?
[Richard:] fish were down there
[speaker005:] Yeah
[Richard:] it was a bit cold
[speaker005:] Well er
[Richard:] puncturing ragworms was disgusting
[speaker005:] Oh it's good
[Richard:] you hold the mouths open
[speaker005:] Oh yeah
[Richard:] and stick it down, oh yuck
[speaker005:] Hope they don't bite you
[Richard:] Oh yeah, exactly
[speaker005:] Is there any spare boxes in there? You look and see if there's any spare boxes
[Richard:] Yeah there is
[speaker005:] are there?
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker005:] Oh good, coming down here then boyos, there we go, whoops-a- daisy.
[Richard:] Have a look at some really knives
[speaker005:] Don't want to thanks
[Richard:] They're great prices, they got some lovely penknives
[speaker005:] look at knives
[Richard:] Have a look at these penknives
[speaker005:] I want a what else am I going for you?
[Richard:] Erm
[speaker005:] I'm going for a tank stopping unit, look out, get that window down boy...
[Richard:] Oh meant you, erm a vinegar jar
[speaker005:] Oh yes that's right, is that as fast down there? Oh good
[Richard:] Yes there's loads
[speaker005:] loads of spaces that's good
[Richard:] Well you're looking for a new penknife so look at the penknives
[speaker005:] No I'm not, I'm not looking for a new penknife at all boy
[Richard:] Ah there we go, there's loads there
[speaker005:] Where?
[Richard:] Why is it everyone goes for the most difficult car parking spot?
[speaker005:] Why, I don't know
[Richard:] Ha I don't believe
[speaker005:] Ah phew, you?
[Richard:] No it's not me
[speaker005:] Sure? It must be me then.
[Richard:] Blooming cheek.
[speaker005:] What's that then?
[Richard:] Oh well it was going when I was, you were talking all the way back from the squash club
[speaker005:] Was it?
[Richard:] Yes, it is now
[speaker005:] What's it doing?
[Richard:] Mind that lady, it does help if you
[speaker005:] Mind baby
[Richard:] Oh God, it's cold
[speaker005:] go, here it goes
[Richard:] What number? [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] That's it
[Richard:] I notice he charges
[speaker005:] Eh, she's a rhinoceros isn't she?
[Richard:] What?
[speaker005:] Is she a rhinoceros? Oh right
[Richard:] Oh God that's awful
[speaker005:] rhinoceros
[Richard:] she's an Essex girl
[speaker005:] Oh dear me [cough] does this tape recorder understand Essex girls?
[Richard:] I don't know, I wonder if I should explain it
[speaker005:] Do it [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] cold
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] So where we off to now?
[speaker005:] Mm, what?
[Richard:] Where we off to now?
[speaker005:] No, no, surgery, B and Q
[Richard:] Right
[speaker005:] three and Q, I don't know, I'm trying to find a tap hole stopper, I've got to find a tap hole stopper somewhere
[Richard:] Well why don't you go over to Wimborne quickly and get it off of them?
[speaker005:] I don't want
[Richard:] Was
[speaker005:] It'll be closed soon you dent doolly a bump
[Richard:] that to be in a dictionary [LAUGHTER] dent doolly a bump [] yes, well, oh I'm cold
[speaker005:] Look at this
[Richard:] Ah she's
[speaker005:] Go that way, go the
[Richard:] Yeah, tape it as well
[speaker005:] Mm, mm?
[Richard:] Take it this way, this way in, yeah there's fishing down there, freezing
[speaker005:] Where? Where? Where?
[Richard:] Over there
[speaker005:] No
[Richard:] fish in line, fish in line with the wreck
[speaker005:] er
[Richard:] and then fished in line with the end of that reed boat
[speaker005:] Oh
[Richard:] didn't get a bite on any of them, not even a take, crabs oh the fish are about down there
[speaker005:] Where?
[Richard:] can you see? Seagulls are out there...
[speaker005:] They're not gonna catch any big ones are they?
[Richard:] Nothing noticeable, it's normally a good sign though put some speed on... you are... oh speed is ninety around here
[speaker005:] What?
[Richard:] Speed limit's ninety around here
[speaker005:] Seventy
[Richard:] Yeah, but we always go eighty, they always allow you to go ten what is she doing?
[speaker005:] Pulling over to the right lane to turn right down the Royston Bypass
[Richard:] What a prat, she should of been further al further along
[speaker005:] Why?
[Richard:] Because you don't pull out in front of a car going seventy miles an hour
[speaker005:] How do you know it's a she?
[Richard:] Because it's an obnoxious move, it must be
[speaker005:] Looks like a fella... to me
[Richard:] That is... no I can't see, wow quick overtake her see if we can see
[speaker005:] Sorry stop in here, Do It All
[Richard:] No
[speaker005:] let's go and see in Do It All
[Richard:] Do It All won't have one
[speaker005:] Yes they'll have one, I've not been in there
[Richard:] go and have a look in Atlantis while you're here
[speaker005:] What's Atlantis?
[Richard:] Atlantis has got, they're an electrical shop, they're on sales, see if you can find
[speaker005:] No, I don't, I want the tap all bloody stuff, I don't want a new whatsit
[Richard:] you can see yes exactly, dad can get erm fifteen percent off there and you can give
[speaker005:] That's his car he didn't want one, I say you're gonna get one if, if, if, if Mr going, you'd better go and get one, but oh no she wouldn't Poo!... What stinks?
[Richard:] The plant [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] The bloody plant? [LAUGHTER] Oh no
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] no wonder they're selling them
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] mm, they stink
[Richard:] Oh I love it
[speaker005:] Do you wanna smell?
[Richard:] Oh toxic
[speaker005:] Is it?
[Richard:] No, [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] What's what stinks then?
[Richard:] Oh I didn't want to tell you this Phil, but [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] What?
[Richard:] it's the
[speaker005:] you've gotta
[Richard:] No, this isn't gonna smell, I like the condom it's wearing [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] It's just the things you poke your hairs up on a sharp stick
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] You can do a blue movie with this thing
[speaker005:] What?
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] Do shut up, what's that doing in there? Get it out
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Oh dear [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] Have a goody
[Richard:] Oh thank you, oh I love these, what you done to them?
[speaker005:] Don't know, they're melting
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] What have you done?...
[speaker005:] I use that thing which sort of congeals them together
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] That was a long word, congeal
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] Here's another word conjugal
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] I don't know why, good God what the hell's he doing over the road?
[speaker005:] He's not in the middle of the road
[Richard:] He's not supposed to be in there, what the bike is doing, you're not allowed to go on this road
[speaker005:] It's a woman
[Richard:] I rest my case
[speaker005:] Yeah
[Richard:] Women Erm... close your window
[speaker005:] Why?
[Richard:] otherwise you'll knock out the record
[speaker005:] Oh, sorry about that
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] I thought was cold
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] I apologise for any temporary loss
[speaker005:] ... I wonder where I'd get that vinegar from? I'd probably get it from Boots
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Boots
[speaker005:] Mm
[Richard:] Ah well, there we go
[speaker005:] Mm
[Richard:] there we go
[speaker005:] Do you rest your case?
[Richard:] Yes, this
[speaker005:] Mm? [whistling]
[Richard:] Aha, you can try in Quick Save, they might have one
[speaker005:] I doubt it
[Richard:] You can try Oh yeah...
[speaker005:] [humming]
[Richard:] and where here?
[speaker005:] Mm
[Richard:] I shall go in
[speaker005:] [singing] Here I go, here I go, here I go, we are off to the show to the show ho []
[Richard:] We didn't do bad here, it was quite quick actually
[speaker005:] Always quite quick, always quite quick doesn't cost me anything, me personally it costs the practice
[Richard:] Ah, but who's gonna pay for it oh hurry up, hurry up, hurry up
[speaker005:] What?
[Richard:] I need the loo
[speaker005:] And I need a sweety, have another sweety
[Richard:] Thank you, I love these, mm
[speaker005:] What you love them for?
[Richard:] What?
[speaker005:] What you love them for?
[Richard:] I just like them
[speaker005:] What?
[Richard:] I just like them
[speaker005:] You do you
[Richard:] Mm, yeah
[speaker005:] [humming]
[Richard:] Oh mind my fish... erm best get all the work done tomorrow
[speaker005:] Why?
[Richard:] Cos we will I'll come dressed for dirty work tomorrow
[speaker005:] There's dirty work afoot eh?
[Richard:] That's right
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Do you want Morse taken out?
[speaker005:] If you can find him you can tape him
[Richard:] Why's he home?
[speaker005:] No
[Richard:] How? Anything you want taped?
[speaker005:] No
[Richard:] He started he's back next weekend
[speaker005:] Who?
[Richard:] Morse
[speaker005:] No he's not
[Richard:] Brand new series, yes it is
[speaker005:] Is he?
[Richard:] Yeah, brand new series
[speaker005:] Oh good... oh right
[Richard:] It look's quite good actually
[speaker005:] I erm, it's on tonight er old Regan's on tonight
[Richard:] Regan?
[speaker005:] Mhm Regan
[Richard:] Oh
[speaker005:] John Thaw in Regan
[Richard:] Oh right
[speaker005:] pilot for the series I thought it was gonna stop
[Richard:] I doubt it
[speaker005:] I hope he is
[Richard:] Do you want that taped?
[speaker005:] No thank you
[Richard:] Alright then, oh Regan as in Sweeney?
[speaker005:] Yeah
[Richard:] Oh
[speaker005:] pilot tape for it you see
[Richard:] Oh right, yes... yes the Sweeney it's quite good it [singing] ba, ba, ba [] with Dennis Waterman, [singing] ba, ba, do, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba [] quick mow that jogger over... got him, now we've got time turn this when we've done this, erm, put the plants in and everything till I gave it at table tennis
[speaker005:] you can't get any work done if you play table tennis
[Richard:] Well we'll get the motor work done first
[speaker005:] Mm
[Richard:] then play table tennis
[speaker005:] No
[Richard:] Yes, I've gotta have a chance to win again...
[speaker005:] No chance
[Richard:] [humming]
[speaker005:] Where were they, five five games on?
[Richard:] Er, no you won six five
[speaker005:] Did I?
[Richard:] Yes
[speaker005:] Oh
[Richard:] It was quite disastrous
[speaker005:] Mm
[Richard:] so we'll go from er six five up to whatever
[speaker005:] Oh look at those big beggars
[Richard:] Er are they swans or geese?
[speaker005:] Don't know, geese I should think
[Richard:] Geese, get the guns
[speaker005:] Herons, herons
[Richard:] They're not herons, herons don't fly in threes
[speaker005:] How many do they fly in then?
[Richard:] Ones... they're still
[speaker005:] they fly in one's what?
[Richard:] On their own
[speaker005:] singularly
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] That's a long word isn't it?
[Richard:] Singularly yeah that's not so bad
[speaker005:] What's it mean? Something to do with singling,si si singing
[Richard:] We [LAUGHTER] we can have a game of count down masters
[speaker005:] Count down masters
[Richard:] cogitation... don't follow that one up [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] Mm
[Richard:] Come on oh the loo, how much further is it? I'm getting desperate
[speaker005:] Ah desperate's a good word
[Richard:] Desperado, singular desperate
[speaker005:] Mm
[Richard:] Latin for desperado
[speaker005:] [yawning] Oh dear []... oh it's down about here when, did it the other day, and the woman just drove out straight in front of me from another lane
[Richard:] Lovely
[speaker005:] I just, I mean, why bother having roundabouts I ask myself
[Richard:] Well it was a woman come on
[speaker005:] Yes it was a woman
[Richard:] women don't comprehend roundabouts, driving cars
[speaker005:] Oh...
[Richard:] you should know that by now, nothing is ever
[speaker005:] it is an excuse
[Richard:] What?
[speaker005:] er don't put your ear piece to the micro to my blooming sweets
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] I'm not keen on... ear droppings in my sweets
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] They're not mine, don't worry
[speaker005:] Mm, I know
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] I love it, I love it. So why have you started taking up the bag?
[speaker005:] Why have I started taking up?
[Richard:] The sweets [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] They are marginally easier to eat that way
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] I don't mean, I mean why have you taken up the other, the plastic bag and put it in that?
[speaker005:] Mm, why it's a horrible bag?
[Richard:] Oh, oh you can pop in and get your fishing magazines while you're down here
[speaker005:] Why?
[Richard:] Well why not?
[speaker005:] What fishing magazine?
[Richard:] Your fishing guides
[speaker005:] It's shut is it?
[Richard:] It shouldn't be it's six o'clock
[speaker005:] Not stopping now I haven't got no money anyway sorry I haven't got any money for the tape... oh dear... [humming]
[Richard:] Oh fish and chips, I fancy fish and chips
[speaker005:] No you don't
[Richard:] Well I fancy the woman serving [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] My, it's a man
[Richard:] It's a woman, I wouldn't mind her on a bed of lettuce, ha, get out the way morons. Have you ever tried Max's kebabs?
[speaker005:] No
[Richard:] Mm, pretty good, hey there's Danny's dad, he'll go right up high, erm up er, up Roman Road, I bet you
[speaker005:] Which one?
[Richard:] That one in front... see it's gone, ram him over
[speaker005:] Oh
[Richard:] not to over there, dear oh dear
[speaker005:] [singing] I want to be Danny's dad, I want to be Danny's dad [] go that way look
[Richard:] Oh he's going the wrong way, moron, mm, where's he going?
[speaker005:] Bonsoir, bonsoir
[Richard:] Wow... oh dear
[speaker005:] What?
[Richard:] I now realize why it was reaching love it, it's getting right
[speaker005:] erm,bom bom bom
[Richard:] So if we're going to do er I'd better unclip this hadn't I?
[speaker005:] Yo
[Richard:] Yes
[speaker005:] not one
[Richard:] not once
[speaker005:] not one but two
[Richard:] Oh that's awful
[speaker005:] [yawning] Oh dear []
[Richard:] You'd thought that these houses could of least put a bit of paint on
[speaker005:] Why?
[Richard:] Make it look more attractive
[speaker005:] No...
[Richard:] They look grotty like that I still think that you should buy Jean a Range Rover
[speaker005:] Why?
[Richard:] She likes them, nice cars
[speaker005:] I'll buy her a dinky toy one [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] they're beautiful
[speaker005:] Mm, they might be beautiful but they're difficult to run
[Richard:] What do you mean difficult to run? They're a damn sight more efficient than this I'll tell you that for a start
[speaker005:] Rubbish
[Richard:] they take more petrol, but servicing-wise they don't require as much
[speaker005:] Rubbish... they're probably a lot more expensive to run than this
[Richard:] Well just because this is a Jag H J six convertible, it's neither here nor there...
[speaker005:] Oh, what the whole part of the problem running is, is the depreciation thing, the more, the more you spend on a car the more the more depreciation you're going to get
[Richard:] Oh I suppose so
[speaker005:] I'm not saying I suppose it's better
[Richard:] well this is a classic car as they go
[speaker005:] It's a, it's a, it's a er Oh no
[Richard:] What?
[speaker005:] le pool de javelle horse dirt, mm
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] I don't know if we're supposed to be talking er French
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER] We weren't
[Richard:] Ah at last home
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] So that's basically, I now got a B grade for and that gives
[speaker002:] Mm
[Richard:] so that's English, and I've gotta get, er he reckons he'll get a B grade for the er lit, but I was so cheesed off with that erm... piece I got today, thirty five and thirty five, one mark off being er an A, he put at the bottom aargh, if only you'd seen the lousy ending, cos he said if I'd got the, an extra couple of sentences it er would of been forty eight, forty, so that's, so annoying, but I've now gotta write an informal letter, I don't know how that comes under informal letter
[speaker002:] You write to an imaginary friend, you're inviting him down for the summer holidays and you say all that, all about the sort of things that you're planning to do with them, make it up
[Richard:] Can you put bad spellings in those as it's informal?
[speaker002:] No you cannot, you'll write it like a normal, a formal letter, like you would write to Melanie
[Richard:] That's not formal
[speaker002:] It's informal
[Richard:] it's that use of formal
[speaker002:] No an informal letter
[Richard:] You said write like a formal letter
[speaker002:] Well you do, but you don't put, don't put like heading for a business thing and
[Richard:] Oh
[speaker002:] just the normal address and date and dear wh whatever it is
[Richard:] Er
[speaker002:] and then you write, just write a set paragraph just as you would normally.
[Richard:] see if I can get a grade A for this one, that, if I can get a grade A for the er next two pieces that I'm doing, which I've got to hand in, that could take me to a B grade after that.
[speaker002:] Did you erm, give in a formal letter?
[Richard:] No he said don't give them in yet, but do the informal first, so I'll do the informal, we've got to do an informal
[speaker002:] Well don't talk about it, go and do it
[Richard:] Yeah I'll do it later
[speaker002:] Well do it now you're not doing anything before dinner
[Richard:] [yawning] Dinner's now []
[speaker002:] No dinner's in at least twenty minutes at least if you rough
[Richard:] Twenty minutes
[speaker002:] Probably, if you just rough out
[Richard:] Yes it's easy enough those so, I hope they don't get bitchy because most of mine are on, on the computer
[speaker002:] well then write the song through, write the informal letter by hand
[Richard:] Yeah, I might do
[speaker002:] your handwriting's quite nice and neat
[Richard:] Erm, oh I've got another piece back that I've twenty nine, twenty nine... as it goes
[speaker002:] That's a C innit?
[Richard:] Yeah, but that goes, that goes in the lit file, so I got rid of my er with the thirty five I managed to get rid of erm...
[speaker002:] Who's got all these things?
[Richard:] They're at school in a box
[speaker002:] Thank goodness for that
[Richard:] but er, so now I've got a thirty six, thirty five, thirty four, thirty four, thirty four, thirty two and thirty, so that's a B count in B file, so there's no hassle with that, but if I can get on and get rid of the er, I've got twenty eight, twenty nine in there as well, er twenty eight in there as well, so I want to get rid of the twenty eight and twenty nine... but it is a guarantee that a B file, so there's
[speaker002:] Mm
[Richard:] no real worry about it, but erm I want to do better
[speaker002:] What about your economics? Or don't you know that yet?
[Richard:] Yeah, he still keeps far faffing around with the erm... whatever detail, yeah, he still hasn't given it to us
[speaker002:] Well how you supposed to do it? Did you get, did you get that thing finished er geography whatever it was? Something, something
[Richard:] Science
[speaker002:] well well whatever it was you
[Richard:] No
[speaker002:] had to finish off?
[Richard:] No
[speaker002:] Why not?
[Richard:] Because I didn't have time, but er they started geography course work today and I was out the lesson
[speaker002:] Why were you out the lesson?
[Richard:] The drama thing, so I'm a se a section hand already on that and I've even got a, well we're supposed to listen to it tomorrow, we've got a tutor period instead, so it means that we miss another lesson
[speaker002:] Can't you copy out what you, what you missed?
[Richard:] Yeah, I'm out tomorrow night, I'm out school, selling books again... so should be at home
[speaker002:] When you gonna get all this work done Richard?
[Richard:] Yes I'm trying to get it done, but I am getting pressure from the year group as well, it was, and so I've got that, back out at Wednesday, so I'm gonna have to have my hair done last
[speaker002:] Gonna Wednesday what?
[Richard:] Erm, got a rehearsal haven't I?
[speaker002:] But you can't back out of the whole rehearsal
[Richard:] I mean I've backed out of going, having, I'm supposed to be working on that on the stalls as well but I backed out of that and said I've got a hair cut, erm, so I'll have to be done last.
[speaker002:] It's not, it's not gonna go on very long is it?
[Richard:] Yes, er probably until about half four...
[speaker002:] Well that's alright, she ain't she's not here till half three in any case
[Richard:] Yeah, you'll have to come home a bit er, a bit er
[speaker002:] Yes I know
[Richard:] She's so this' ll probably be our last appointment here wouldn't it?
[speaker002:] No I was saying to her... I'd probably have one more before I go anyway and er [LAUGHTER] I'm, I'm gonna ask her if she [] with my, cos at that nana's there, I mean there'll be four of us there, it might be worth an hour and a quarter drive
[Richard:] What her?
[speaker002:] [cough]
[Richard:] She wouldn't wanna drive an hour and a quarter
[speaker002:] Well she might not, she might do
[Richard:] She wouldn't drive an hour and a quarter, it's not worth it
[speaker002:] Well we haven't much choice, we'll have to arrange something else that's all, mm I don't, I don't wanna give her up, she's a good hairdresser
[Richard:] Well you can hardly ask her to drive round and er an hour and a half
[speaker002:] An hour and a quarter
[Richard:] for twenty quid
[speaker002:] It's not twenty quid, if Melanie and I have our hair permed, that's, that's two perms and two, two cuts
[Richard:] And granny have it done
[speaker002:] Possibly
[Richard:] dad can have it done
[speaker002:] Possibly
[Richard:] nice family outing
[speaker002:] Er if she was to come over
[Richard:] Saturday
[speaker002:] No, no, no
[Richard:] she won't do that
[speaker002:] but she could, I dunno perhaps we can work something out, I dunno, er failing that we'd have to come out to her house [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Oh right, yeah, I'd rather go up the road, stupid
[speaker002:] I know, but she's really good though, I be shall sorry to erm, have to give her up
[Richard:] oh dear, see that tutor tomorrow morning for an hour, hey hey
[speaker002:] What, get the job er copied up then
[Richard:] I can't do job, it's course work, don't you understand?
[speaker002:] Well
[Richard:] How am I suppose to copy up course work, it's my own work
[speaker002:] Do, do you study that at home then?
[Richard:] What?
[speaker002:] A science or something
[Richard:] Mum it's a tutor period, it means work
[speaker002:] Oh you'll have to work then
[Richard:] don't sit around for an hour doing nothing...
[speaker002:] I realise that Richard
[Richard:] but don't be stupid
[speaker002:] Look, if you've got work to copy up, why can't you study and work in
[Richard:] Because he's a tutor
[speaker002:] What do you do in it?
[Richard:] I have D R N L As to do
[speaker002:] Mm, I used to let my when it's tutor period, get on and do some revision work
[Richard:] Good grief.
[speaker002:] and it's much nicer it, they know what they've got to look at.
[Richard:] I've got to go and see Wally in tomorrow for the forms, I ain't got any forms to fill in cos I'm officially not leaving, I'm only moving
[speaker002:] That's right, that's right
[Richard:] change of address
[speaker002:] I don't know it yet
[Richard:] it will be change, I can't say, is it, I mean I said it's a change of address, they know I'll probably be moved in four to six weeks
[speaker002:] Do get that out of your mouth please
[Richard:] Which is it gonna be?
[speaker002:] I'm not signing or changing anything Richard until we have exchanged contracts
[Richard:] Oh yeah, that's easy muck around do what I do
[speaker002:] No Richard because the whole thing can fall through... when we have our survey done it might show a defect or something, we might pull out, when they have their survey done it might show a defect so they might pull out, you don't do anything Richard until the contracts have been exchanged, then you can start saying right I think that's, that's, every thing's definite
[Richard:] Alright [yawning] we were doing company law [] and
[speaker002:] Mm, mm
[Richard:] I was damn good I knew everything, first I had to watch the accounts and secondly I'm looking at all this stuff for when I start my business
[speaker002:] Mm, mm
[Richard:] so I'm saying ah that's that and that, that, so I basically have... we were looking at erm, what's it? Partnerships, did you know that if I start a partnership with Phil right, mum
[speaker002:] Mm
[Richard:] I will be completely liable for erm... [tut] liability
[speaker002:] Yes
[Richard:] but that's, wouldn't affect me because I'll be taking loans out... so there and I can have up to twenty er partners, nineteen in fact, because there's twenty partners altogether, basically, so there is definitely benefits for being in partnership
[speaker002:] as if er, there's not, if you've got twenty partners or there's twenty of you altogether you're splitting profit twenty ways
[Richard:] I'm not having twenty partners, I'm having Phil and that's it
[speaker002:] What, we'll sort it out later
[Richard:] Erm
[speaker002:] when you've got the capital right?
[Richard:] Erm, but sole, we're looking at sole proprietor as well, there's some good things in that, I E they're cheap to set up, stuff like that, so they're not bad as they go, but, I suppose well I'll have to sell when I've got more money, I didn't get any replies today... not a single blooming one, I'm a bit cheesed off, so erm, I think I might ring back that one of the ones that I did get a reply from and say thank you.
[speaker002:] I would leave it for a while Richard
[Richard:] Well dad said I should say something
[speaker002:] I would just leave it for a while
[Richard:] But er, it's all I've had for now I suppose, [yawning] oh God [] I've got maths tomorrow, hate maths
[speaker002:] No you don't
[Richard:] [yawning] I do []
[speaker002:] Well that is, that is a really stupid attitude to go into isn't it?
[Richard:] Oh I hate it
[speaker002:] No you
[Richard:] be one G C S E I'll fail
[speaker002:] Don't be so silly, if he drops that glass I'm gonna kill him
[Richard:] Dog went mad when I Eh?
[speaker002:] Sorry?
[Richard:] Dog went mad
[speaker002:] Mm, mm
[Richard:] dumping himself and running around and banging into doors and things, stupid mutt, so er, erm give him his Bonio, he gets, he now barks at me when I sit down, till I get up and give him his Bon Bonio mum
[speaker002:] Mm, mm
[Richard:] well he is so cheeky, and you can tell when he's hungry cos he goes back for and stand by it again, sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't
[speaker002:] Well more fool you for letting him
[Richard:] Well he's obviously hungry if he wants say have a second Bonio... so I just give it to him [yawning] so what [] oh excuse me will look good with my full colour and commendations and credits and Which means we've done three times in a night and a half, Agnes? Oh, she's useless!
[speaker008:] So you're gonna write up the list?
[Richard:] Yeah, may as well. But today... when we finished up to the middle of th here. But erm... so as what we have to do is to basically... arrange... start arranging things.
[speaker008:] Like songs.
[Richard:] What do you reckon I should get? Sort of trout... trout hors d'oeuvres and stuff?
[speaker008:] Oh my God! I can't stand fish! No, do smoked salmon.
[Richard:] Or smoked salmon hors d'oeuvres. You know, bits of smoked salmon on cheese sticks and things.
[speaker008:] Ya. Poke people's eyes [LAUGHTER] with a []
[Richard:] Cos you don't want wanna have a meal, sort of nicknacky that you can sort of nibble.
[speaker008:] Like Donna!
[Richard:] Sausage rolls and stuff like that... sort of thing.
[speaker008:] Yeah.
[Richard:] I don't suppose you fancy taking this tape machine home tonight do you, and recording some of your conversation with your brother or something?
[speaker008:] The longest conversation we have is, get off the computer, it's my turn!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... Er, I wonder if we should take this to school tomorrow?
[speaker008:] Oh great laugh!
[Richard:] Yeah, I tell you what you could take this to school for me.
[speaker008:] Why?
[Richard:] And you could tape it, er imagine it's yours
[speaker008:] Yeah.
[Richard:] well, then you won't get the comments will you... that I get?
[speaker008:] Yeah.
[Richard:] What do you think?
[speaker008:] One of the lessons I've got are design, and not a lot happens in design.
[Richard:] What about German?
[speaker008:] We er
[Richard:] German?
[speaker008:] Oh yeah, it's all in German, [LAUGHTER] yeah []!
[Richard:] Art?
[speaker008:] I don't think you wanna record those, [LAUGHTER] you'll hear the conversations we have about you []!
[Richard:] Oh! What about me?
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]... No we don't really.
[Richard:] Andrew!
[speaker008:] [belch]
[Richard:] Erm
[speaker008:] [belch] What is in that stuff? [belch]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Are you quite finished []?
[speaker008:] [hiccup] No, why?
[Richard:] Don't do it! Turn this off.
[speaker008:] Oh!
[Richard:] Erm
[speaker008:] All you can do... is leave it,ge take the out that one... you know, like a... and that, put that over the e end so it; s a nice warm bit like here, just enough to see. [LAUGHTER] Oh you'll have to buy a new light top.
[Richard:] Mm. You could of course, have a big marquee in the back garden.
[speaker008:] Oh yeah!
[speaker004:] Richard.
[Richard:] What?
[speaker004:] Er, we're not gonna be able to tape er... LA Law.
[Richard:] Yes you are! I asked first!
[speaker004:] Erm, no because we're recording Red Dwarf for dad.
[Richard:] I'm sorry, I asked first!
[speaker004:] I don't care!
[Richard:] I do! Because you can tape like... music, beginning music... and then he can tape it, he only wants a couple of minutes beginning.
[speaker004:] If you only want the bloody music,whe I, what's the point of taping in the first place!
[Richard:] I want the music, cos I wanna co introduce them to music, so tape it, I asked first!
[speaker004:] You got a tape recorder there!
[Richard:] I asked first!
[speaker004:] Well it's, I don't care!
[Richard:] So you tape the music, I asked first!
[speaker004:] Use that!
[Richard:] No! I asked first!
[speaker004:] Use that!
[Richard:] [shouting] Alistare!
[speaker004:] No!
[Richard:] It's my damn tape []! Right! Okay then! Yo fine, I'll just wipe the thing! It won't survive, I'll wipe it! Flipping scum! Punch his face in!
[speaker008:] Not like brotherly love!
[Richard:] I hate him!
[speaker008:] Ah tho yo re, ah you don't really!
[Richard:] So, we can have
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] a marquee... out in the back garden.
[speaker008:] Wo! What's this?
[Richard:] Be a bit cold wouldn't it?
[speaker008:] Valentine, to Richard, from Richard.
[Richard:] I know!
[speaker008:] Ro... [reading] Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll get straight to the point, I want to bonk you []!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] [reading] Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems rhyme... this one doesn't []!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... No, read it properly!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Read it
[speaker008:] Right!
[Richard:] properly!
[speaker008:] [reading] Roses are red... the day is blue, my only wish now is that I spend it with you. Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm writing to tell you I'm in love with you. You never see me []... who wrote you that then?
[Richard:] Er, er er er, Mel....
[speaker008:] [reading] I bet you, I bet you can't guess who [].
[Richard:] Thank you!
[speaker008:] No. [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Told you! You didn't believe me did you?... [singing] And I had a Valentines Card, ha ha ha []! Ho, ho, ho! A tough, tough!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] You know what he's waiting for []?
[Richard:] Yeah..
[speaker008:] See you've made a mess on the board as well.
[Richard:] Mm!
[speaker008:] I mean it... why grey inside? I wonder which poem book she got that out of?
[Richard:] No, she wrote it herself.
[speaker008:] How do you know?
[Richard:] Because, I do!
[speaker008:] Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll get straight to the point
[Richard:] I want you!
[speaker008:] I want your body! Mm mm!
[Richard:] Noticed the poems rhyme without detection there. It's because, [LAUGHTER] I have a rather large []
[speaker008:] A finger of fudge is just enough... to give
[Richard:] to give myself up!
[speaker008:] No. To win the by-election. A finger of fudge is just enough
[Richard:] A finger of fudge is just enough to give me... myself... a dee dee dee... dee!
[speaker008:] Stiffy! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] If, I'll fill my with goodness, nothing now can save her
[speaker008:] a finger of fudge is just enough so go and vote for labour! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] But don't! Please, now this is a conservative household!
[speaker008:] Oh alright!
[Richard:] Maggie Thatcher rules... good on her! Down with the poor! Up with the rich! I agree! Erm
[speaker008:] Oh he's gonna be busy on that night isn't he? [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Ah! I can, am bringing Claire a present tomorrow.
[speaker008:] About who?
[Richard:] Graham.
[speaker008:] Why?
[Richard:] I dunno. She wants to see who's interested in po in... helicopters. I think it's which er... sixty ki six Komenchi
[speaker008:] Ah!
[Richard:] That's a nice helicopter!
[speaker008:] Where's the list gone?
[Richard:] What?
[speaker008:] There was a list.
[Richard:] List of what? Oh it's underneath there. Er... it was... there it is!
[speaker008:] Mm mm. [sighing] Ah []! [belch]... Kate, Donna, Helen, Jenny, Georgina, Sarah,Ji i er,Sa... is that right?
[Richard:] Read them out again, start from the beginning.
[speaker008:] Is that Chloe?
[Richard:] Slowly.
[speaker008:] Oh is that Claire and Jim?
[Richard:] Clare and Graham. Start from the beginning, slowly.
[speaker008:] It's, looks like Chloe actually. Sarah
[Richard:] No, start from the beginning.
[speaker008:] Kate.
[Richard:] No! I'm not gonna... well, no.
[speaker008:] Not Kate?
[Richard:] Not Kate.
[speaker008:] Donna?
[Richard:] Definitely.
[speaker008:] Helen?
[Richard:] Definitely.
[speaker008:] Jenny?
[Richard:] Definitely.
[speaker008:] Georgina?
[Richard:] Definitely.
[speaker008:] Claire?
[Richard:] Definitely.
[speaker008:] Claire, another one?
[Richard:] Definitely
[speaker008:] Sarah?
[Richard:] Definitely.
[speaker008:] Rebecca?
[Richard:] Maybe.
[speaker008:] Jessica?
[Richard:] Maybe.
[speaker008:] Sarah... wacko-jacko!
[Richard:] Sarah wacko? Oh definitely!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Oh
[speaker008:] A
[Richard:] yes!
[speaker008:] four inch?
[Richard:] Tony.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] No []!
[speaker008:] Paul.
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] No []!
[speaker008:] Andy?
[Richard:] No.
[speaker008:] Me?
[Richard:] No!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]... Paul?
[Richard:] No.
[speaker008:] ?
[Richard:] No. No. No!
[speaker008:] Can't read that one!
[Richard:] Danny.
[speaker008:] ?
[Richard:] No.
[speaker008:] She must be joking! Paul and Bryant?
[Richard:] Erm, Bryant maybe. No. I didn't put Paul!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Couldn't have been him. So I'm gonna show dad that list this weekend... see if he says... oh oh oh!
[speaker008:] What that?
[Richard:] Yes.
[speaker008:] He's not gonna know any of them is he?
[Richard:] Well he will trust me not to invite rebels! And you can hardly say
[speaker008:] Yeah.
[Richard:] that those are rebels can you? Helen
[speaker008:] Has he told yo, has he tol, if he doesn't know them he's not gonna know is he?
[Richard:] Helen's quiet, Jenny's quiet... ooh I tell you what, I'm beginning to fall for Jenny actually I have to admit.
[speaker008:] I'm not.
[Richard:] She kept looking at me today in
[speaker008:] God!
[Richard:] now, at lunch. Giving me all sad looks... cos she feels sorry for me. My little Helen!
[speaker008:] Helen! My little Richard! A failure of natural selection! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Ooh! You wanna perhaps.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] So if we can, yeah, well I suppose so. So I've recorded half an hour of tape already up here. I got
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Can't you spell []!
[Richard:] What?
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Can't you spell []!
[Richard:] ?
[speaker008:] Yeah.
[Richard:] [spelling out name].
[speaker008:] It's starts with J actually, in case you were wondering!
[Richard:] I thought was a G? That video was quite fun this morning wasn't it? [sighing] Ah [].
[speaker008:] Well talk about getting to the climax!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []! But imagine that! I,th there's no need to show in schools or anything like that!
[speaker008:] There wasn't. I think that just slowed down, I think it was all done in about thirty seconds, they just slowed it down.
[Richard:] No, it was that's
[speaker008:] Oh the music was building up, you know
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []!
[speaker008:] It had something for
[Richard:] Yeah, that's it.
[speaker008:] everyone didn't it? Had music for me
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] people bonking for you!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] And lots of computer graphics for James.
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] It was quite funny wasn't it?
[speaker008:] Yeah I.
[Richard:] It was quite funny, I have to admit. She was very good looking! I thought she looked like Sarah.
[speaker008:] You reck any, anyone who's blonde looks like her isn't it?
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... Well, she yo, she was er... do you think I should invite Sarah?
[speaker008:] If she'll come. But i, does she know any of those people?
[Richard:] No, not really. That's the problem. She, she'll get on with them.
[speaker008:] No she's probably teetotal!
[Richard:] And I'm not having Melanie! Ah, you're joking! She's going out with a nineteen year old! She's gonna even lived with him!
[speaker008:] Who is?
[Richard:] Sarah!
[speaker008:] What?
[Richard:] Yeah!
[speaker008:] Tell
[Richard:] He's
[speaker008:] me more?
[Richard:] he's he's er, she's goes for the rich guys you see.
[speaker008:] I'm not surprised! Mm!
[Richard:] No. She's got everything! She's very intelligent, she's very rich, and she's very attractive!
[speaker008:] Mm, I don't know about very attractive, not bad, ha!
[Richard:] She's damn good! I wouldn't kick her out of bed on a cold night! I must admit. But
[speaker008:] I'd sooner have the duvet to be honest about it! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] German in three months, ha!
[Richard:] Yeah. It's not good!
[speaker008:] Oh what!
[Richard:] Done really good!
[speaker008:] Well you... still do it for three years [LAUGHTER] and []!
[Richard:] German in three years, like that. Well... oh yeah!
[speaker008:] [speaking german] Acht bitter
[Richard:] So, well that's what we'll have to do then. I'll have to have a... have to have a word with good old dad... and see what he suggests. Basically, say, ah ya! [speaking german] Das is good Das fater That's, my father in German.
[speaker008:] No!
[Richard:] Erm... yes. Didn't I just say it. [sighing] Er er []... God I'm
[speaker008:] Then you say [german] swina
[Richard:] Mine a... [sighing] Ah []!
[speaker008:] [rolling his tongue] Re er er er er... Re, er er er er
[Richard:] Open that cupboard.
[speaker008:] What?
[Richard:] Cupboard.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]... Who's in there then?
[Richard:] And the other wo, and the other. Mm. Is there a green lined shirt in there?
[speaker008:] What colour?
[Richard:] No! Green lined, it's white with green
[speaker008:] Oh!
[Richard:] lines.
[speaker008:] That one?
[Richard:] Yep. That's the one! Get it out.
[speaker008:] What one.
[Richard:] The shirt.
[speaker008:] Why, what's it got in there?
[Richard:] Just get the shirt out!
[speaker008:] What's wrong with it?
[Richard:] Ge get it out on the hanger... that's it! Don't knock it off! Bring it over.
[speaker008:] St. Michaels, oh yeah! We
[Richard:] Good! Put it up on the door handle!
[speaker008:] we go to Marks and Spencers do we?
[Richard:] Put it on the door handle. Of course, I'm getting twenty five quid from there. Put it on the door handle.
[speaker008:] Why?
[Richard:] Cos I'm gonna use it tomorrow.
[speaker008:] Good!
[Richard:] Put it on the door handle!
[speaker008:] That one?
[Richard:] Yes! So just leave it on that, that's it.
[speaker008:] Good!
[Richard:] Now go into the cupboard
[speaker008:] Right.
[Richard:] and you should find a pair of trousers
[speaker008:] Oh! Why am I doing all this?
[Richard:] Cos I can't be bothered to get up! Ah! In between the
[speaker008:] I can't be bothered to do it!
[Richard:] red and the green shirts, there's a pair of trousers.
[speaker008:] Turn them in. Them ones?
[Richard:] That's it! Can you get them out then?
[speaker008:] They're kind of... a disgusting colour aren't they? You're not turning up to school in this are you?
[Richard:] That's the one!
[speaker008:] It's all hanging out, it's all... it's all hanging out.
[Richard:] Put that on the door. Good!
[speaker008:] Have you ever thought about getting out of here, you know, if it's all on the door?
[Richard:] Er... denim jacket on top of that I think.
[speaker008:] I don't think so!
[Richard:] Don't think, denim jacket?
[speaker008:] Well, where you going anyway?
[Richard:] Just to Rush School. I'm just wearing the denim jackets as casual jackets to take off when we get there.
[speaker008:] Why what's happening tomorrow?
[Richard:] We're going to perform our stupid play!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] About the sodding Rush and I'm gonna die!
[speaker008:] I thought they weren't
[Richard:] I know all my lines, my lines is, my name's Robert and I like playing cowboys and indians. I then in front of Sam and she's the headmistress and I say, I've been sent to see you by Miss Huddy, Miss Trudgenell, because I got caught
[speaker008:] Miss Trudgenell!
[Richard:] cleani,co cos I got caught pulling a little girl's pigtails. She said erm... tt... don't you know it's ma only my privilege to do that? And I say, no Miss Trudgenell, she says... er, why did you do it? I said, because I wanted to, see miss... and she says, right! Bend over my table! She gets the cane out... and just as she's about to whip me, er... Jane walks in.
[speaker008:] And she bu, joins in does she?
[Richard:] Yeah. And then er, basically, that's it! That's my lines. Danny has to go down on the floor, put his hands on hips and go, evening all! [LAUGHTER] Bends his knees, cos he's a policeman []!
[speaker008:] Has to come in like this?
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker008:] Evening all!
[Richard:] That's it! That's right.
[speaker008:] Sting
[Richard:] And he says
[speaker008:] police, impression of Sting, you know! Oh.
[Richard:] Oh God! It's, he is such an awful actor! Even I can't
[speaker008:] I can imagine Daniel sort of coming in... you know
[Richard:] Exactly!
[speaker008:] Evening all!
[Richard:] He is, he does! He goes, [shouting] evening all! Evening all, prowlers []!
[speaker008:] He either under acts or over acts doesn't he? Not
[Richard:] He does! Evening all! [LAUGHTER] I'm a policeman []! who's innocent?
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] That's right []!
[Richard:] He's he's just terrible! He's crap! What, do you reckon I should wear
[speaker008:] I reckon he'd better off with the music to be honest, I mean
[Richard:] What me?
[speaker008:] No... him
[Richard:] Oh oh! No, he's no good! Shall I wear that one? Shall I wear that lemon one?
[speaker008:] What? Which one?
[Richard:] That er, one in between, next to the red one.
[speaker008:] That one?
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker008:] Oh my God, Richard! Looks like Ca Carly's curtains!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] She hangs them round her waist! She
[Richard:] Or do you reckon I should wear... a white casual
[speaker008:] Well,ha, you're supposed to be a five year old
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker008:] dressed in that?
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker008:] Bloody hell! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Exactly! That's what I said!
[speaker008:] Have you got the little cap as well? With shorts on? [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] I thought... I se, I'll be a boy, er Donna's.
[speaker008:] What a cap? Yeah I know!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] I didn't know [LAUGHTER] she was due []!
[Richard:] What's the matter with grey trousers? Grey trousers maybe? Black shoes, grey trousers and that?
[speaker008:] I don't care! It's your
[Richard:] What about black trousers?
[speaker008:] play! Put it somewhere.
[Richard:] Oh! A cloak.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Or do you reckon that shirt?
[speaker008:] Oh that's looks alright, leave it.
[Richard:] What that one?
[speaker008:] You know the ones you have it tied, sort of half round your neck, you know. Like that.
[Richard:] Do you think that, that one maybe?
[speaker008:] I dunno. If you like.
[Richard:] Do you reckon she'll prefer it in that colour?
[speaker008:] No, I'm taking... not bothering. I mean, nobody's gonna bother to check the colour of your shirt with about twenty other people on stage?
[Richard:] There's my... Global Hypercolour.
[speaker008:] What a!
[Richard:] Ooh there again, what do you reckon to these? I've never worn these?
[speaker008:] Neither have I. I've only got one pair of... I've only got one pair of
[Richard:] Get into these actually.
[speaker008:] Yeah, I've got one pair presenting clothes.
[Richard:] Bloody hell! This was half price! Aargh!... Jesus!
[speaker008:] How much is it?
[Richard:] Twenty five quid.
[speaker008:] Half price?
[Richard:] Yeah. What do you reckon?
[speaker008:] Urgh!
[Richard:] Those?
[speaker008:] Oh! Yeah if you like.
[Richard:] That's a possibility. Do you prefer them to those ones?
[speaker008:] Not particularly.
[Richard:] Right. Those are more casual actually. And I can wear a white shirt... straight laced white.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Ha er er []! What's Do, by the way, what's Donna wearing?
[Richard:] Oh! Wow! You should see it man! Wo ooh, ooh, ooh!
[speaker008:] Tell you what, I do, but I can't wait that
[Richard:] You want to. Wow! Erm, a very, very, very, very, very slinky erm... black skirt... and tights, and a very low top! I'm talking seriously slinky!
[speaker008:] Oh I see!
[Richard:] A er
[speaker008:] phew!
[Richard:] We're talking seriously tasty! So... [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Not me, I sprayed my balls with that stuff. [LAUGHTER] Oh lend you a jacket, moron! Er []
[Richard:] It's over there.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]... So
[Richard:] It's good stuff this! Thank you very much. You seen it?
[speaker008:] What sort of... take it every morning?
[Richard:] That's right! Yep! It's good stuff for bad breath actually!
[speaker008:] Talk about, [cough]
[Richard:] Just go
[speaker008:] [cough]
[Richard:] See it kills all the throat hairs! [LAUGHTER] The throat tissue []. I suppose we should get our German actually shouldn't we?
[speaker008:] What German?
[Richard:] German, German.
[speaker008:] All that?
[Richard:] Yeah. To put our thing onto tape.
[speaker008:] How the hell am I gonna do that?
[Richard:] Why? Mean, how the hell you gonna [LAUGHTER] do that []?
[speaker008:] Yeah, what do have to say anyway?
[Richard:] That thing we did in class.
[speaker008:] Oh that!
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker008:] Ow!
[Richard:] Ow! Ow! Right, so just a minute, so let's... let's plug up this te te,ta ta ta ta ta tape. Ivor!
[speaker008:] How you gonna do that?
[Richard:] No, use that while I'm doing the entertainment.
[speaker008:] That, oh
[Richard:] So
[speaker008:] what? [LAUGHTER] []!
[Richard:] Oh well I wouldn't mind being entertained by her! To be perfectly... honest.
[speaker008:] Ooh that's nice!
[Richard:] Ooh! Very nice indeed!
[speaker008:] Cor! That's a bit okay!
[Richard:] Yes!
[speaker008:] This bloke means it!
[Richard:] You got a flinch or something?
[speaker008:] What?
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] You got a flinch or []
[speaker008:] What?
[Richard:] keep on doing that!
[speaker008:] This one?
[Richard:] I'll in the eye, don't want this... waste my expensive... deodorant! This stuff costs a fortune now! This Lynx is expensive as well! This is one ninety nine a can! And it doesn't last very long, there's only about two week's worth there! Cos I absolutely spray myself to death! Erm... booze, booze! We gotta limit that. So you don't want food? You don't want, you just want sort of crisps and nicknacky things
[speaker008:] Sausages.
[Richard:] and sausages and hors d'oeuvres
[speaker008:] Sausages. Hors d'oeuvres.
[Richard:] Salmon and... you want salmon on rolls
[speaker008:] Salmon
[Richard:] on biscuits?
[speaker008:] sam salmon the bed! Ha!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Salmon on the rolls [], and
[speaker008:] Salmon on!
[Richard:] salmon on toast and... sort of stuff like that? Toasted salmon. Basically
[speaker008:] Do you know what?
[Richard:] What?
[speaker008:] I feel like humping Donna again!
[Richard:] Again?
[speaker008:] You're not supposed to say that! You're supposed to say, I didn't know you have?
[Richard:] You haven't.
[speaker008:] No, but I felt like it before!
[Richard:] Er
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] I don't mind []!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Ha ha ha ha []!
[speaker008:] You just messed that joke right up for me!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Shall I, shall I tell you a joke about my car?
[Richard:] No.
[speaker008:] My car's got a bidet in it.
[Richard:] Yes! You told me that one! Yes, well that's er, er really not Andy!
[speaker008:] What about, [LAUGHTER] I I thought that was quite good []!
[Richard:] I've got a joke for you. What do you call a Scouse... in a five-bedroomed house?
[speaker008:] Burglar.
[Richard:] What do you call a Liverpudlian in a suit?
[speaker008:] Defendant.
[Richard:] Yes! Oh you heard it?
[speaker008:] I was waiting for.
[Richard:] You sod! Erm... why do Essex girls... wear knickers?
[speaker008:] Keep their nipples warm. [LAUGHTER] Why don't, oh it was brilliant []!
[Richard:] Why do erm... what's the difference between a Skoda and an Essex girl? You can drive an Essex girl more than a hundred yards! Er
[speaker008:] Oh it's! The side of shoes are all peeling, look, they're all cracking up.
[Richard:] Oh well, I'm not surprised. You do, sort of, put them under... wear and tear.
[speaker008:] I walk with them! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Oh dear! I sprayed my hair!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] I hold my hair [LAUGHTER] spray []!
[speaker008:] Designer wear hair! Cor! But did she tell you how she's gonna wear it?
[Richard:] On her head!
[speaker008:] No!
[Richard:] Good possibility!
[speaker008:] No, you've gotta try.
[Richard:] There is rumours... decisive rumours... that she's gonna wear on it her head! She looked very nice today in Science! I was watching that film and thinking of her. I have to tell you.
[speaker008:] But when doesn't she look very nice?
[Richard:] Oh true!
[speaker008:] She
[Richard:] Can you imagine, Stuart asked her out! Can you imagine that! He's walked up to her and asked her out!
[speaker008:] So?
[Richard:] He was a prat!
[speaker008:] So [LAUGHTER] he can be a prat []!
[Richard:] I spent six months... too... priming my time... then
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] It still didn't work []!
[Richard:] it still didn't damn well work, too right!
[speaker008:] And then asked her out it... orgasmo, or what, too!
[Richard:] Yes! She's, well... looking at her in P S E D and she looked so cute and adorable!
[speaker008:] Who?
[Richard:] Helen. Oh, Jenny's not to bad either! And Georgina's not bad either! But Sarah Jane's, wow! Well! She's just darn right good looking! Yes! It's huge!
[speaker008:] What?
[Richard:] Her bum.
[speaker008:] Who?
[Richard:] Sarah 's.
[speaker008:] I don't think I've ever looked.
[Richard:] It's a whopping great thing!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] just trying to lift it! Yeah.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] It's not that big []!
[Richard:] You get... it is, [LAUGHTER] her bum as well! Oh dear! So I've basically gotta take one of those suit holders in tomorrow to... school... for my costume. Cos I'm not gonna go in and get it ruined. As, [mimicking] Lloyd Grossman would say... it's quite novelty [].
[speaker008:] Tony. [LAUGHTER] I can't do that []!
[Richard:] That's right.
[speaker008:] I can't say that.
[Richard:] No you can't say that one without a. Erm... damn! I've forgotten what I was gonna say! [phone rings] Ah, phone! Phone!
[speaker008:] Oh Miss might be communicating to us all. It's a
[Richard:] Phone!
[speaker008:] sign! It's a sign!
[Richard:] Aha! Mum's got it. It'll be for Alistare. Fifty P bet it'll be for him! Fifty P bet! Here we go! She's come upstairs.
[speaker008:] Has she?
[Richard:] Yep! Fifty P bet? Fifty P bet! Oh Christ, it's for me! Who is it?
[speaker002:] How the fuck is, I do! who it is?
[Richard:] Girl or boy?
[speaker002:] Oh what are talking about!
[Richard:] [phonecall starts] Hello? Hi! What do you want?... Alright, I'll have to. I've got little Andy sitting here!
[speaker008:] Who is it?
[Richard:] It's. Go away! Yes, you were saying?
[speaker008:] Let me listen.
[Richard:] We haven't got any. No, we didn't! I rang Danny... and already checked... so there isn't... basically! That's crap! Is Jim there with you? Or is he at home? No! No! No, no, no! No, that's crap! We haven't got any. No! None at all.
[speaker008:] And Andy's still in the bedroom
[Richard:] we
[speaker008:] getting me undressed!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... Forget about it Nick! [LAUGHTER] Did you hear that []? Did you hear what he said? Oh well, basically... well
[speaker008:] Mm!
[Richard:] oh it's nothing of interest.
[speaker008:] Er
[Richard:] Shut up!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] What []? Do what? Do what? Oh well, nothing of interest. Erm, no... yo I've, er I've asked him at the parents' evening what he expected us to do for economics, right? And yo you're never gonna guess what he wants us to do for our final bit of course work? We have got to go and stand outside Marks and Spencers... and ask questionnaires... and we've gotta do the same in Wimbourne. Ridiculous or what! I think it's crap! I think it's pathetic!
[speaker008:] [mimicking] Er here! Er here []!
[Richard:] I think it's ridiculous! We're never gonna get that done are we? Are you gonna go and stand outside Marks and Spencers and get arrested? For asking surveys? Oh God! I think it might be worthwhile actually so the school can come and bail us out!... Urgh! God it's ridiculous!
[speaker008:] I mean will be arrested for kerb crawling! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] I mean, you can't do that sort of thing, surely! Oh well, I think it's ridiculous! As you can tell, I said, Andy's been drinking... I think. I wouldn't know. Er, blackcurrant... yeah, blackcurrant mate, I'm afraid. So I I was a bit stupid letting him on that sort of thing. We were this, just discussing the party here... that we're having... and we've now got twenty five guests... you see.
[speaker008:] Guests?
[Richard:] Twenty five! It should be a great doss up! Donna, Georgina, Sarah,... er er er
[speaker008:] Pa oh ah, I'm definitely meant to record that!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... Georgina, er, Helen, Jenny, Claire, Claire, Sarah... Madeline, that lot. It should be a great doss up!
[speaker008:] Tell him there's about twenty
[Richard:] So
[speaker008:] million girls, and [LAUGHTER] two boys []!
[Richard:] Pardon? Yeah, and you, Phil, that lot. Phil's gonna basically, when we've all had... as you would know with all the other girls, then erm... he basically has to come and sin... erm, we repent to him, basically! Yes. Exactly! [LAUGHTER]... That's basically what we, er what's happening. Right! Anything else I can help you with? Oh, rightio! Yes.
[speaker008:] Please be on ta... the professionals
[Richard:] What?
[speaker008:] on are on now.
[Richard:] When's what? Oh I don't know exactly. As soon as I can arrange a free couple of weeks... away, yep. Cos I gotta get booze and food and all that stuff in. So, Andy's gonna hire a video camera... to, to film er... Stuart and Phil, and that stuff. So it should be a good laugh like a good old er, jolly jaunt! But we'll have to have a look. Right! I will let you go then. And I lost the bet by the way, cos I said to da, Andy, I bet you fifty P it was for my brother, and it wasn't. So
[speaker008:] Oh I'm rich!
[Richard:] I'm going to kill you tomorrow! Right! Okay? Oh thank you! Oh don't go! So, I'll basically see you tomorrow. Okay. See you! Bye! [phonecall ends] Oh it was! It was for me!!
[speaker009:] Well what do you want to talk about?
[Richard:] Well there's not a great deal to talk about. As
[speaker009:] No.
[Richard:] it goes. But you have to have, er... it'll be good if you could find something for her.
[speaker009:] Well, we'll see... er... hardly think... that I know any... active
[Richard:] Well you
[speaker009:] Admirals at the moment.
[Richard:] Well not active, but you do go down to Portsmouth quite regularly don't you?
[speaker009:] Well yeah, I mean I might... I can probably get more advice on the R A F or Army... than, than the Navy.
[Richard:] Can you find out for the Army for me?
[speaker009:] Mm mm mm.
[Richard:] And
[speaker009:] Mm.
[Richard:] Put it forward.
[speaker009:] Yes, probably.
[Richard:] See what they can recommend. That is a serious option actually.
[speaker009:] Oh well, course it is! I know that.
[Richard:] Recruit, there's a
[speaker009:] Mhm.
[Richard:] erm... there's two guys want to go in the Marines in mine anyway... and so they're paying erm, A levels of fifteen hundred quid... for one of them.
[speaker009:] Well
[Richard:] He's getting paid fifteen hundred
[speaker009:] Yeah.
[Richard:] quid A levels.
[speaker009:] Yeah, that's a good idea.
[Richard:] And so, if I do that... for the army... and then get them to do my degree as well.
[speaker009:] Yes.
[Richard:] So, you get fifteen hundred for going the Ar, er, doing A levels, which isn't bad is it?
[speaker009:] Nope.
[Richard:] Have a with that. So, that's not too bad.
[speaker009:] That's right.
[Richard:] And you have
[speaker009:] Erm
[Richard:] are you going to look around the... house again tomorrow?
[speaker009:] No.
[Richard:] Are you going for a buy then?
[speaker009:] Well, probably will do.
[Richard:] Can we go again?
[speaker009:] Er, if I go then you can go.
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker009:] Don't see any reason why not.
[Richard:] We could pop up this Saturday.
[speaker009:] No, I'm not going while... is driving.
[Richard:] Oh er... Sammy. So, when they gonna sell he his, this week?
[speaker009:] Hang on! Oh I dunno. I do I haven't heard anything, I was supposed... to ring them and find out.
[Richard:] Oh God!
[speaker009:] Don't really understand why I haven't.
[Richard:] They're playing around!
[speaker009:] No.
[Richard:] Or they would have got back wouldn't they? By now.
[speaker009:] Well... possibly.
[Richard:] Have you filled in all th, did you hear telephoned back? The one you were supposed
[speaker009:] Sorry?
[Richard:] did you call that number back?
[speaker009:] Oh, that wasn't anything.
[Richard:] Who was it?
[speaker009:] It was just er
[Richard:] Estate Agent, probably.
[speaker009:] Just an Estate Agent, yeah.
[Richard:] Oh my God! I thought it was important!
[speaker009:] Nope.
[Richard:] Shouldn't have bothered!
[speaker009:] Sorry?
[Richard:] Said, I shouldn't have bothered.
[speaker009:] Anyway, I dropped, I rang his office and then... erm Alistare rang me on the mo... I think, I think if Alistare rang me they could tell me that er... if I did, or I, no I got the message
[Richard:] No you
[speaker009:] in yo, I got another message in the office, that's right.
[Richard:] No, you got one from mum... in the evening.
[speaker009:] No, a different, the next day.
[Richard:] Oh! And I thought he came back again.
[speaker009:] Oh well, it's another part of the office then.
[Richard:] Oh my God! Oh! But er, yes... won't be long but er... it's ridiculous!
[speaker009:] Well then, nothing's stopping you putting the damn thing on.
[Richard:] It's not plugged in, there's not enough plug sockets.
[speaker009:] But you don't need the, you don't the plug in for the erm
[Richard:] Heater.
[speaker009:] heater at the moment.
[Richard:] Oh! True.
[speaker009:] Put it in that one.
[Richard:] Is it a big, oh you quite often get messages on there.
[speaker009:] Yes. That's right. Oh yeah.
[Richard:] Could be important. Madeline's offering
[speaker009:] Oh dear!
[Richard:] mum advice about moving. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker009:] Oh well that's well founded!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] She's never moved in in, what is it, thirty years?
[speaker009:] No, exactly!
[Richard:] It's our fifth in ten years.
[speaker009:] I should imagine that went down well!
[Richard:] Yeah! You could say that. She rang erm... a le, did she tell so, did, mum tell you about the time she had erm... some calls... about two in the morning?
[speaker009:] Yeah.
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Imagine [] calling Maggie at six in the morning! I mean, Glenys at six in the morning.
[speaker009:] Exactly!
[Richard:] I think they'd got another hour. Sh she's weird! Didn't i... oh that cedar table needs re... layering.
[speaker009:] One general... well... well I wouldn't worry about it yet, I don't think.
[Richard:] You can't read... Belgian though can you?
[speaker009:] Yeah.
[Richard:] Oh, didn't know you could. Oh it's better than buying a new one isn't it?
[speaker009:] I would hope so.
[Richard:] Oh, you're going through those! Do you have to ti, do you tick them off against your... cheque... book stubs?
[speaker009:] No, that's not what I'm doing, I just wanna see which erm... which... building society... sorry, which erm... not building society, which... erm
[Richard:] Bank?
[speaker009:] er... what do they call them?
[Richard:] Stadium?
[speaker009:] life assurance, erm
[Richard:] Yes.
[speaker009:] loans... erm... is directed.
[Richard:] Haven't you er, you got Alistare insured, and you haven't got me insured?
[speaker009:] Not true.
[Richard:] It is true.
[speaker009:] It's not true.
[Richard:] I'm not insured!
[speaker009:] Nor is Alistare.
[Richard:] He is! Mum says he's insured.
[speaker009:] Not any more.
[Richard:] Oh! Brilliant! So if I pop my clogs... nobody get any.
[speaker009:] [singing] Dee doo doo doo [].
[Richard:] But erm... oh damn! Stay there.
[speaker009:] Try not to talk too much. I don't know want you to have too much.
[Richard:] Why can't I... get rid of this thing for you?
[speaker009:] What thing?
[Richard:] Save the accountants doing it.
[speaker009:] What things?
[Richard:] Your cheques on the... statements. Mm? Because it's dead easy!
[speaker009:] I know it is.
[Richard:] So why don't I do it for you? Say cos the accountants, that's sort of fifty quid you've saved.
[speaker009:] He's not doing it.
[Richard:] Well he does it doesn't he?
[speaker009:] I know.
[Richard:] Do you do them?
[speaker009:] .
[Richard:] He goes through and puts circles round everything and ticks off.
[speaker009:] Not at the moment, no.
[Richard:] But we, cos I'll have to do it for you so, something interesting for me to do.
[speaker009:] When we get ourselves sorted again.
[Richard:] I love doing that! Great fun! I used to be able quite regular. [yawning] With the... P C and B. Oh dear []! My friends are already applying for their summer jobs.
[speaker009:] Yeah?
[Richard:] Yeah. James has applied to Macro. He'll probably get in as well, little, bloody sod! But, I'll have to see, yeah I'll have to g pop along to Liphook Actually, if we do that... if you re do go back, well I can pop round the village can't I? Sort of if I go smartly dressed... I can see if they've got anything.
[speaker009:] Well it's an idea.
[Richard:] Gotta ring Phil actually,wha is it... too late now? Dad?
[speaker009:] What?
[Richard:] Is it too late to ring Phil? It's about my C, will I get my references.
[speaker009:] Oh don't do it now!
[Richard:] Cos it's, I've gotta get th, ask if I can... if they need a, explain er
[speaker009:] Well don't do it now!
[Richard:] Oh well I'll, have to ring him tomorrow, it's very important! Can't forget that. Cos then we sort of, turn out, get a finger out and get a move on! And so, it doesn't look good if I don't bring the information in... so I'd better hurry up... with that. I've also gotta put my... German onto tape tomorrow.
[speaker009:] Oh!
[Richard:] I haven't got a microphone, what a shame, I can't!
[speaker009:] Mm.
[Richard:] Ah dear! No, I can't do that. So erm... that's German homework I can't do. Dear oh dear! [phone rings] Oh! Oh, oh! I'm
[speaker009:] Well... that's probably doing too much work.
[Richard:] Oh very funny! You're being sarcastic I take it?
[speaker009:] [LAUGHTER] Oh, me []? Me? What, sarcastic?
[Richard:] No I am aching actually, I don't know why.
[speaker009:] Ah! Well I don't know when these three, oh yes it is!
[Richard:] Not good enough!
[speaker009:] Who cares! Don't do that!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... habit. Erm... there's no reason why I can't go out with you on Friday... is there?
[speaker009:] Where?
[Richard:] To Liphook
[speaker009:] No.
[Richard:] If you're going up that house on Friday afternoon. Pop up to London... we could already
[speaker009:] Why am I going Friday afternoon?
[Richard:] [yawning] Just saying, just in case you do []! I can leave at... the new
[speaker009:] Well I'm not going to am I?
[Richard:] new house. Oh I've got my... biology tomorrow. Aargh! Dum dum da! Should be doing about
[speaker009:] That is stupid! Ah ah! Aha!
[Richard:] Found it?
[speaker009:] Erm
[Richard:] Found it?
[speaker009:] I'm not really sure.
[Richard:] Well it must say, la la la la
[speaker009:] Ah, two thousand eight, got it right! And that says, twenty seven from
[Richard:] You're not gonna stop insuring yourself are you?
[speaker009:] No, no, no, no, no! Oh no!
[Richard:] God! Increase the premiums.
[speaker009:] Twenty seven from the nine... two thousand one eight.
[Richard:] I still think it'd be good if my bike went walk about. Be a good way of doing it. Get it practically sawed up and that. Got plenty of friends who would be willing to saw it up.
[speaker009:] Nineteen, I don't think that's a very good idea at all!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... I do! Saying it's broken.
[speaker009:] I'll stretch you for it. Oh good!
[Richard:] Why?
[speaker009:] Well, only really because of erm... as mature, as policies mature... before the er
[Richard:] What do you mean they mature? You can collect them?
[speaker009:] Yeah. Before
[Richard:] Are they pensions?
[speaker009:] No, no, no, no! They're, they're er... and er life insurance against the mortgage.
[Richard:] What?
[speaker009:] You borrow money
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker009:] and then you use life insurance to pay it off.
[Richard:] Oh fabulous!
[speaker009:] What?
[Richard:] You mean, in other words, you won't have life insurance left. So money you've put into life insurance, goes?
[speaker009:] Well that's what the life insurance is for, to pay the house off.
[Richard:] Oh!
[speaker009:] Put that against the value of the house.
[Richard:] Oh, great! So
[speaker009:] So
[Richard:] in other words the money from your life insurance will pay the mortgage?
[speaker009:] Yes.
[Richard:] So we've not got that much hassle then?
[speaker009:] No, not yet.
[Richard:] So... well then, what you worrying about?
[speaker009:] I wasn't worried!
[Richard:] Good! Glad to hear it!
[speaker009:] Now where was I?
[Richard:] What happened to the grand throw out this year?
[speaker009:] I wasn't worried at all.
[Richard:] Listen though if, we can't keep everything again! If we go through and chuck out all the grotty stuff.
[speaker009:] Like what?
[Richard:] Well, wardrobes and stuff like that. Cos, we can get rid of these can't we? Sell these?
[speaker009:] No!
[Richard:] That, this and that.
[speaker009:] No!
[Richard:] But keep th, keep the
[speaker009:] Absolutely not!
[Richard:] Don't see why not.
[speaker009:] Some of it's useful, I mean
[Richard:] What and that thing?
[speaker009:] What?
[Richard:] That can be chucked.
[speaker009:] Well, we need it, the amount of stuff at the moment, and get rid of it... when we... know what we're doing with that thing.
[Richard:] Well we're gonna need two removal vans.
[speaker009:] Well if we have two removal vans, we have two removal vans!
[Richard:] We didn't fit in the last one. We only just fitted.
[speaker009:] The company pays for it, I don't care!
[Richard:] And that was squeezing it.
[speaker009:] But if the company pays for it I don't give a damn!
[Richard:] Hadn't you better contact Pickfords.
[speaker009:] Well they'll do it, I'm sure one
[Richard:] Cos er they might sort of book them up ahead or something.
[speaker009:] They'll do it in time. They're not moving much at the moment.
[Richard:] Aren't they?
[speaker009:] Well obviously not.
[Richard:] [yawning] Oh yeah, true []!
[speaker009:] The housing market is hardly buoyant is it?
[Richard:] So, in other words, you can... push them down a bit. Did you get the er... bit they saved on the... stamp duty... to buy the kitchen?
[speaker009:] It's possible.
[Richard:] Does that mean yes? Oh good! Mum was so embarrassed! She didn't know how you got the chee, the nerve to do it! Disgraceful! If you don't ask, you don't get anything.
[speaker009:] Don't ask, you don't get!
[Richard:] Exactly! But do you think they'll load the thing on the joints? Or
[speaker009:] [yawning] We'll probably have to split it... I would think. Oh excuse me []!
[Richard:] But it shouldn't be too much should it?
[speaker009:] No.
[Richard:] We eve, we can dig them up and fix them, really, there's real problem getting anybody in. So why have the three trees gotta come down? What three trees are they?
[speaker009:] Well those that are right next to the... the ones growing up... between the two bedrooms.
[Richard:] Ah! Oh that, that one
[speaker009:] The big one.
[Richard:] the big one?
[speaker009:] The big one on the back.
[Richard:] Yeah. Oh tha, we need that anyway.
[speaker009:] Tha that one's actually... another.
[Richard:] Oh brilliant!
[speaker009:] Then we got one round the corner in the patio area.
[Richard:] Oh no! Not that big one?
[speaker009:] Yeah.
[Richard:] Oh!
[speaker009:] But it's right up against the house, it's gotta come down.
[Richard:] tt. I bet next door are gonna get bitchy aren't they?
[speaker009:] Well... possibly. Then we'll erm
[Richard:] Why's it gotta come down? Does it have to?
[speaker009:] Oh th the erm... the surveyor reckoned that that house next door
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker009:] was built afterwards as a servant's house.
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... Lovely!
[speaker009:] Too bad it doesn't come with the property.
[Richard:] Yes. Why is it smaller, it's much smaller is it?
[speaker009:] Oh yeah it's smaller, but it's a nice er
[Richard:] Is this the biggest one in the section?
[speaker009:] Er, well it's bi, I don't know.
[Richard:] It must be pretty near it.
[speaker009:] Don't know. Don't really care!
[Richard:] It's got the biggest garden in the area.
[speaker009:] I don't know, I don't really care! Not really.
[Richard:] You can see that about five garden size.
[speaker009:] Well it's not really relevant.
[Richard:] Well it's a property! He said it was a big one didn't they?
[speaker009:] Mm.
[Richard:] Cos it's probably double the size of this one.
[speaker009:] Er it's, [sigh]
[Richard:] It's gotta be... well it's ri, what do you reckon, four thousand square feet?
[speaker009:] No, no! Oh I can't work it out. I really can't afford
[Richard:] It must be pretty close. So you don't need all this, surely? What do you need Alistare's report for?
[speaker009:] I'll keep the... no, I just keep the stuff, that's er... got sentimental value.
[Richard:] Oh Christ! I'm gonna burn all of mine!
[speaker009:] No you're not!
[Richard:] , I keep them it's such a waste!
[speaker009:] No you're not! Aha! Aha!
[Richard:] So when are nan and granddad gonna come then?
[speaker009:] Oh it's Alistare's trust fund. Hang on a minute. Well I'm sure what's going in there.
[Richard:] Are they gonna come and stay with us, sort of in... December
[speaker009:] I dunno when they'll
[Richard:] onwards?
[speaker009:] come.
[Richard:] God you can tell that hadn't been open for a while!
[speaker009:] Oh
[Richard:] Ss
[speaker009:] right!
[Richard:] Struth! [yawning] This never changes [].
[speaker009:] It's just a copy anyway.
[Richard:] Mm, course. What's the passport for? Is that an old one?
[speaker009:] My to, very first one.
[Richard:] Oh God! Who's that? Peace
[speaker009:] An ugly looking... son of a bitch!
[Richard:] police, peace like man! It says. But this stuff needs brushing out... once it's that... supposed
[speaker009:] Mhm.
[Richard:] to be quite simple to remove. I'll have to try something different. I thought it'd be nice if you get, the teachers I get on really well with a bottle of wine or something.
[speaker009:] We'll see!
[Richard:] Cos there's only a few that I get on really well with.
[speaker009:] Well we'll see! It's, now.
[Richard:] Probably more than that actually, and... er... well they are
[speaker009:] And the policy you are.
[Richard:] ,......... no it's about four... five probably.
[speaker009:] Oh what the heck! Oh well, I can't shift
[Richard:] You almost got those doctors.
[speaker009:] [sigh]
[Richard:] What time is it, by the way... please? You got a watch on?
[speaker009:] It is... nine fifty two.
[Richard:] Oh God! I better check my. Be a bit late.
[speaker009:] I would think so.
[Richard:] Yeah. Pretty fancy though.
[speaker009:] Well I suppose we could use them.... Mm mm! So
[Richard:] Must still be in there somewhere.
[speaker009:] Well then mother knows more about these things than we do.
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker009:] What annoys me is that I know I saw the damn thing not too long ago!
[Richard:] It must be in there then. God, I'm thirsty again! I've been thirsty all evening!
[speaker009:] Yeah, so said it was that... spaghetti Bolognese that did it.
[Richard:] Makes you thirsty.
[speaker009:] Mm. Well, it's probably
[Richard:] Mm.
[speaker009:] it's probably that.
[Richard:] Maybe it is a flu going around then.
[speaker009:] Well these all need to be... well I mean quite often this stuff we can
[Richard:] Throw?
[speaker009:] no, no, half of this stuff we can actually... keep bi, or or leave, leave for them because it's actually... relevant information.
[Richard:] What leave them bills and everything?
[speaker009:] No I mean it's
[Richard:] And guarantees?
[speaker009:] Well it's no damn good to us once we've moved, is it?
[Richard:] Ooh God, they've had the house at a cheap rate anyway! They can damn well pay for these stuff if it breaks down!
[speaker009:] That's not the point! Just stop it!
[Richard:] Are we taking the cooker with us or not?
[speaker009:] Not the cooker, no.
[Richard:] So they get i,we will work pay for all our appliances and stuff?
[speaker009:] Eh?
[Richard:] Will work pay for all our appliances?
[speaker009:] Not all of them, no.
[Richard:] Well a lot of, yeah? And water softener as well? All those big salt pebble things I have to fill up every week in the?
[speaker009:] Well I guess we may get a... we may get ourselves a... waste disposable unit.
[Richard:] Good!
[speaker009:] Get one of those we got... in, particularly in favour of those.
[Richard:] Does she like them? Stick some raw eggs and things down there. Get it chopped up. It's a great laugh!
[speaker009:] Mm.
[Richard:] But we want one of those halogen jobs. What are they called? Hobs. They are nice!
[speaker009:] Mhm.
[Richard:] Not a bad price either.
[speaker009:] What the halogen hobs?
[Richard:] Mm.
[speaker009:] Oh you're joking!
[Richard:] About five hundred. Not bad! You can't burn stuff on them either, can you?
[speaker009:] On the halogen ones, no. It's a
[Richard:] Exactly! So that's a definite bonus!
[speaker009:] Well it wasn't, although they'd actually be going around burning ourselves anyway!
[Richard:] I do, you know those frying pans that you bought, the frying pans and saucepans? An, you know the metal bit that's by the handle... that's a really poor safety device!
[speaker009:] Poor?
[Richard:] On the saucepans there's a metal rim... sort of piece at the end of the handle
[speaker009:] Is there?
[Richard:] that that touches the actual saucepan
[speaker009:] Yes.
[Richard:] when you pick that up you put your thumb on it!
[speaker009:] I
[Richard:] And I burnt myself so many times on that!
[speaker009:] Don't pick it up so close to the handle then!
[Richard:] Yeah but it's
[speaker009:] Well that's the answer
[Richard:] it's
[speaker009:] isn't it? Why am I
[Richard:] difficult.
[speaker009:] missing... missing some subtle point here.
[Richard:] Are we leaving the washing machine, by the way?
[speaker009:] No!
[Richard:] Well that absolutely, we've gotta get a new washing machine!
[speaker009:] Don't be stupid!
[Richard:] We have, look, this one!
[speaker009:] It's only because it's not so... not erm... stable. Just adjust the feet... slightly. If I had it on a solid floor, but it's gotta go, don't forget it's on a... a wooden floor.
[Richard:] Oh I suppose so.
[speaker009:] What you want is a so so, is a solid floor.
[Richard:] Is it?
[speaker009:] Mhm.
[Richard:] Oh right. Well that makes a difference, solid floor. Oh oh! Will you stand it, sort of the garage in your er... best job of the afternoon? Won't be too bad. Well this, well I think it's a Hotpoint.
[speaker009:] Well no.
[Richard:] Everything you buy is a Hotpoint!
[speaker009:] No it's not! There's nothing wrong with buying that.
[Richard:] Well L E C are pretty good... that's why we buy them! So, oh! The tapes nearly run out! Thank God! Only a bit more to go.
[speaker009:] Ooh it works!
[Richard:] I bet I will get nice and fluffed out so that it
[speaker009:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] I will keeping talking to this stupid machine! Oh God! But still... oh er
[speaker009:] Why?
[Richard:] They'll probably contact and they'll check every single doctor.
[speaker009:] Why is that?
[Richard:] Then I'll I think it's disgraceful! We'll have to get the guy out from Sticks and Stones to do our fireplaces. Is it a real fire there, by the way?
[speaker009:] Well it's... and in the bedroom.
[Richard:] There's on in the bedrooms?
[speaker009:] Well, one of the bedrooms has got... a fire.
[Richard:] Now, let me guess, you're having that one?
[speaker009:] I dunno. They,na, nan and granddad may have that as a sitting room to start with.
[Richard:] Oh! So we we have proper logs? Over there?
[speaker009:] It's possible.
[Richard:] Brilliant! Roasting chestnuts!
[speaker009:] My God!
[Richard:] Cooking crumpets!
[speaker009:] Yeah, yeah
[Richard:] Marshmallows!
[speaker009:] yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
[Richard:] Cor, it's ages since we've done that! Used to do it down there and we used to get stones that blew up... and poinged everywhere!
[speaker009:] Aha.
[Richard:] Ah, I love that! Yeah! Brilliant! So we'll have to have that cleaned as soon as we get there. Get a chimney sweep in.
[speaker009:] I think we'll have lots of things to do Richard.
[Richard:] I suppose I could clean it really.
[speaker009:] I don't think so.
[Richard:] Don't see why not.
[speaker009:] Cos it's a
[Richard:] Might be a big fire. Is it a big fire? Is it?
[speaker009:] You've seen it.
[Richard:] I can't remember. Which room is it in?
[speaker009:] Well there's a fire in the... main room.
[Richard:] Oh, and that's the ballroom, I think it's called dad, the ballroom.
[speaker009:] I don't think so!
[Richard:] It's called the ballroom!
[speaker009:] Oh well that's what, yeah, they call it, I think it's hardly that.
[Richard:] Well it's big!
[speaker009:] I know that, yeah.
[Richard:] Big house!
[speaker009:] Well the house... gotta.
[Richard:] It's gotta be there somewhere so just let's and find it.
[speaker009:] Right! I'll look in my ro... so that sort of thing she can... look at in the morning.
[Richard:] [yawning] Oh God, I'm starving []! Oh! I thank God that.... Oh I'll take Twiglets into school tomorrow.
[speaker009:] Mhm.
[Richard:] Make a change. Get. Twiglets and er... and the... pasty. You have to get the done as well.
[speaker009:] Yes. Put, put that on the shelf though.
[Richard:] Exactly!
[speaker009:] Mm.
[Richard:] I don't think you'll ever get tha that to be done now.
[speaker009:] Yes I will.
[Richard:] Not with the rigging, the rigging's had it!
[speaker009:] Well then, do, redo the rigging, that's not a problem.
[Richard:] No, it's... a bit difficult.
[speaker009:] Just a matter of
[Richard:] It's a shame, it's a beautiful ship!
[speaker009:] Just a matter of finding the time!
[Richard:] Did you buy it from?
[speaker009:] Oh yeah.
[Richard:] How much did it cost?
[speaker009:] [sighing] Oh [], can't remember now.
[Richard:] Probably about sixty three isn't it?
[speaker009:] Oh easily! Easily!
[Richard:] Shame! Lovely
[speaker009:] A shame, yup!
[Richard:] Cos it's the solid ones.
[speaker009:] Yep!
[Richard:] Yes. You'd have to repaint and stuff as well.
[speaker009:] Yeah, I know
[Richard:] Find the
[speaker009:] I've got
[Richard:] on some
[speaker009:] so much to do!
[Richard:] on some.
[speaker009:] So much to do and so little time!
[Richard:] We went to Parkside Reproductions... your desk... the maho, mahogany one.
[speaker009:] Oh God! Just can't be bothered about that yet Richard!
[Richard:] No you said for the new office.
[speaker009:] [sighing] Yes, I know [].
[Richard:] Oh dear! Let's go and watch the news.
[speaker009:] Alright.
[Richard:] Ah! I saw what's his name today by the way.. And clobbered me again! Wanted to know if you'd said anything. Mum?
[speaker002:] I said anything?
[Richard:] I mean, if I said anything to you.
[speaker002:] About what?
[Richard:] Me me me mention yo, something in the newsletter. Wa wondered if you... were gonna do anything. So, I said no, I'd mentioned it to you and talked about it. I think he must think we're complete idiots or something! I've got a temperature, by the way. Mum? Are you going to sit there and read the paper, or do nothing?
[speaker002:] I'm reading the paper! I wanted my cup of tea and I'm tired!
[Richard:] Well you gonna, oh I've gotta bring a cup of tea in for you, have I now?
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[Richard:] Oh right! I'll get up and get the damn thing shall I? Do you want me to do anything else while I'm up... up and about?... There we go! Anything else you'd like while I'm up? Scratch your back, or get the paper, or the get the post in, or... take the dog for a walk or then, shall I?
[speaker002:] Richard, on the odd occasion you something for me Richard... I ought to be a lot for you! Altogether
[Richard:] I said, I can do tea. Well I'm not doing tea, Alistare can do it, he's been home all day!
[speaker002:] Alistare does something
[Richard:] He's been home all day.
[speaker002:] No! He did
[Richard:] Yes, he's been home all day I'm not doing it tonight! I've got things to do.
[speaker002:] Fabulous! He'll
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] I'll do it!
[Richard:] Yeah! Don't see why you can't do it.
[speaker002:] Don't ask me to take that in again tomorrow, cos I can't!
[Richard:] If I'm supposed to be doing it. Can you take it in tomorrow mum? I better take it back tomorrow... hadn't I? Mum?
[speaker002:] I would have, you said she's calling here to pick it up er, isn't she?
[Richard:] Yes. Four thirty. And you won't be home before four thirty will you? If you can take it in tomorrow I'll be much obliged!
[speaker002:] Nope! Sorry!
[Richard:] Why can't you just leave it on?
[speaker002:] Did you ring the coach back?
[Richard:] Yes, I did.
[speaker002:] We're here at Blackpool presumably?
[Richard:] Gonna give Mel a ring tonight? Mum? Mum? Mum! Oi! Can I give Mel a ring tonight? Mum! Why not?
[speaker002:] Cos.
[Richard:] [tut]. Oh flipping heck! You shut up as well dog! You miserable mutt!... It's hardly difficult is it?... Is it?... Oi!
[speaker002:] Oh, they've won.
[Richard:] How many of them did they get out, done?
[speaker002:] Mm?
[Richard:] How many did they get them to, done?
[speaker002:] Three.
[Richard:] Three?
[speaker002:] [sighing] Yes [].
[Richard:] Pathetic!
[speaker002:] Hello! Have you done?
[Richard:] I got two other evenings to do at school now.
[speaker002:] What are they gonna do about... surely you haven't forgotten?
[Richard:] Mum. Got, parents' evening on the fifth and tenth to do. Helping out I guess. I think it's wo, it's worth for the school.
[speaker002:] I think I should get some work done, don't you?
[Richard:] I must say it's... that er
[speaker002:] Time's running short!
[Richard:] Yes, I do know that! [yawning] So tired []. Dinner's almost ready now. He was upstairs when I came in tonight.
[speaker002:] Chee... [talking to the dog] you cheeky boy? You cheeky boy?
[Richard:] Gotta give Phil a ring tonight.
[speaker002:] You have been good! You're a cheeky boy!
[Richard:] Ain't he stupid!
[speaker002:] Oh, ha ha!
[Richard:] Wo! Almost fell off
[speaker002:] You
[Richard:] dog!... [LAUGHTER] Ha []! What is he doing?... What's this?
[speaker002:] He's gotta get along of the band, without touching them.
[Richard:] Oh, one of those jobs!... Why is wasting so much time?... Why hasn't he put his fingers in between it?... I thought that was a mistake then he made.... Why the hell doesn't he... do you get locked in with three?... That is cruel! I'd say sod the crystal and just sort of take him out.
[speaker002:] He's not is he?
[Richard:] Bit disastrous!
[speaker002:] What about baked beans? Or?
[Richard:] Oh we don't want baked beans! We always have baked beans.
[speaker002:] We don't always have baked beans Richard!
[Richard:] Go on then! There's a... tank in the paper beside you.
[speaker002:] God that's so stupid!
[Richard:] Yes you can.
[speaker002:] Too bright, I couldn't.
[Richard:] Don't see why not.
[speaker002:] Oh!
[Richard:] [yawning] Oh! This is Debbie [], oh this is, might be quite good I think I might go and watch this actually.... Mum!
[speaker002:] What did you say?
[Richard:] Might go and watch this film....... Not bad.... Look, so... I've gotta remember my drama stuff tomorrow. Mum?
[speaker002:] Well you'll soon have it for yourself, I won't do it!
[Richard:] I've gotta go and pa, to the shoes, polish the shoes, polish both pairs of shoes, in fact. Two pairs to do now. Get... the thing out of the... my trousers, the shirt
[speaker002:] Don't tell me about it, would you just do it!
[Richard:] and I wear my denim jacket on top.
[speaker002:] You had better remember Richard not to er... leave them th behind.
[Richard:] But if I don't pick it up, cos if I don't take it in I'll in the morning.
[speaker002:] I know you want to take it in.
[Richard:] Yes I know.
[speaker002:] And you'll, please make sure you bring every single thing back Richard!
[Richard:] Stupid keys!... There's a tank in the paper for sixty quid today.
[speaker002:] I heard you.
[Richard:] Then why didn't I go, er I might ring up and see what it's like.
[speaker002:] No you won't! I don't want it thank you!
[Richard:] Christ! I hate this advert!... Oh it's... can't stand it! He's pathetic as well!... I'm not up Phil's this weekend. He's got a course until Sunday afternoon and I'll probably Sunday afternoon, I might even do that.
[speaker002:] It would be nice to do that, have a really good work session wouldn't it?
[Richard:] Yeah, and I've got the weekend off aft, er that got ma
[speaker002:] Apparently doing anything else.
[Richard:] Oh well it, I must admit.
[speaker002:] This German you ought to be doing, and you've got economics to do.
[Richard:] Yeah. Great! I can't, haven't got the information. He didn't even give us the instructions, he wants it in in two weeks time! I've not been given any instructions!
[speaker002:] Well go and see him!
[Richard:] He, got it tomorrow, but he won't tell us anything. It's ridiculous!... This is a stupid advert as well!... So we're missing lessons... three, four, tomorrow. Mum?
[speaker002:] Right.
[Richard:] [yawning] Unfortunately, it's drama I've got [].... Oh I love that!... Is that the Radio Times you've read? Anything interesting?... Dad reckons we can get a second contract done within two weeks.
[speaker002:] Then you've gotta.
[Richard:] I mean, he ca reckons we can have draft copies done. That's what he says I can erm... tell my friends.
[speaker002:] Richard, wait till we've got a date fixed.
[Richard:] No he said, take two weeks.
[speaker002:] No, to all, wait till we get a date fixed!
[Richard:] I don't know. Oh I better go and check the sausages. Two gammon... salads. Sodding well running after you!... It's not fair!
[speaker004:] Perfectly fair. Ah shut up Richard!
[Richard:] Oh! I'm still here! [LAUGHTER]... Oi! It's here mum! [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Oh look at that!
[Richard:] Not bad is it? Not a bad little machine at all!
[speaker008:] Yeah, except the record battery light's flashing.
[Richard:] It's supposed to.
[speaker008:] Is it? Oh!
[Richard:] I'd imagine. Erm
[speaker008:] That light just stays on, look.
[Richard:] So... we basically have to now... plan the. Another bloody packet of Polos!
[speaker008:] I'm addicted to them, you know!
[Richard:] You are! You, just a bit! What do you do, sort of buy them in fifty packs at Sainsburys?
[speaker008:] Yeah. Every month.
[Richard:] Why aren't you gonna get them from Macros, it's only one pound ninety for forty eight?
[speaker008:] No Macro.
[Richard:] I got Macro... got a Macro card.
[speaker008:] You've got one?
[Richard:] Mm.
[speaker008:] Oh I'll go there the other day and see what's
[Richard:] Do you want me to get... no, I'll get you a packet of Polos, a box of Polos.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Never guess where I got the shirt from will you []?
[Richard:] Is this Macro's?
[speaker008:] Yeah.
[Richard:] Have you got Macro cards?
[speaker008:] My dad ha, or did have. Mm.
[Richard:] Ah! Cos I'll get you one. Oh, put it in the cupboard! Lock it in! Give me the key!
[speaker008:] What are you on about?
[Richard:] Right! So basically have to plan... who we're going to invite to this party.
[speaker008:] I think Donna should be the only one.
[Richard:] Oh, Donna's coming.
[speaker008:] Donna and me, that's it.
[Richard:] Donna's definite.
[speaker008:] I thought you could find some Copydex couldn't you?
[Richard:] Sarah, Claire... what do you reckon to her?
[speaker008:] Why her? I just don't
[Richard:] If she comes, she doesn't get on well with Donna.
[speaker008:] Hey?
[Richard:] She doesn't get on well with Donna.
[speaker008:] Well who does?
[Richard:] Er
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Sarah? She's a definite. She's gotta come. Yeah. Helen, definite. Jenny definitely. Claire definitely.
[speaker008:] Claire who?
[Richard:] .
[speaker008:] Oh.
[Richard:] Erm, Lisa wanna come, Donna want Lisa to come. Erm
[speaker008:] Who's Lisa?
[Richard:] Oh it's one of Donna's friends. Erm
[speaker008:] Which one?
[Richard:] Tony... Paul.
[speaker008:] Is she that... black haired one? Oh!
[Richard:] No. No, no, not her. No
[speaker008:] Oh!
[Richard:] she's got blonde hair. Erm... who else?
[speaker008:] Dunno.
[Richard:] Paul, you
[speaker008:] Aha.
[Richard:] me, er er er... Tony Josh Ja, Stuart?
[speaker008:] Wo oh oh oh! It's!
[Richard:] That will be, that'll be very choosy. Pardon? Je, you gotta put James
[speaker008:] Not that... oh not, James is alright. He's alright.
[Richard:] Andy, er James?
[speaker008:] James?
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker008:] Why him?
[Richard:] Cos he gets on well with other people. Claire?
[speaker008:] Yeah but not with me!
[Richard:] Claire?
[speaker008:] Yeah.
[Richard:] Er Sarah?
[speaker008:] Why have a fe, oh why not give the whole school a knees up!
[Richard:] We wanna get about twenty... twenty five.
[speaker008:] Andy?
[Richard:] Oh, yeah!
[speaker008:] No, don't have him! I don't like him!
[Richard:] Don't you?
[speaker008:] No.
[Richard:] No, he's alright is Andy.
[speaker008:] He's not!
[Richard:] He can be. To be perfectly honest, he is quite an embarrassment!
[speaker008:] Quite right.
[Richard:] Yeah, I agree actually. Yeah, can be a pain in the arse! To be quite honest. Erm, yeah... maybe not him. Madeleine? Get on well with her. Erm
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Do you think she'll come?
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker008:] You think she will?
[Richard:] She's already said, how many bottles do you want me to bring?
[speaker008:] Oh right!
[Richard:] So this will be... the party... of all parties! I've basically gotta pay someone to... be be the bouncer... for the day... or for the evening. I'm not having these... silly old sods turning up! This is gonna be... a strictly invitation only.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Will you have cocktails and that?
[Richard:] No! Just have a load of booze. Load of booze! Load of girls! Then
[speaker008:] Oh ah, ah, we need a little room where
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] I don't mean the toilet []!
[Richard:] Anyway, you're a... no that's the pavilion... that's the pavilion so
[speaker008:] It's gonna be freezing!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Gonna freeze out there!
[Richard:] Sure you'll find some way to warm yourself up!
[speaker008:] Mm, yeah, I'm sure.
[Richard:] So, basically, what you wanna do is get Donna drunk. As soon as she has
[speaker008:] Oh yeah! Yeah, right you got like me, Stuart
[Richard:] I would
[speaker008:] James, I mean who else is gonna try and sedu
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Me []! I'm gonna be seducing her! Er... Helen... Jenny
[speaker008:] What, what we're doing, taking goes or something like that!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah.
[speaker008:] Time-share!
[Richard:] Good idea! Is that mum calling? Just a minute, I'll just go... find my clo [shouting] Mum! Mum, where's my bed clothes []?
[speaker008:] What on the bed! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] No, if we do that, that's a good idea! That's basically what we have to do.
[speaker008:] I'm not sure about James though, I mean
[Richard:] No? No James? Right!
[speaker008:] I'm not sure about him.
[Richard:] Okay. We'll keep him out then. Cos we've basically gotta find people that... people'll be happy with... or that they know. So I know most of them, I get reasonably well with most of them. I'm not inviting anybody I don't like!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Erm... so
[speaker008:] Why are you inviting Martin and James?
[Richard:] James who?
[speaker008:] .
[Richard:] That's no, what the hell! Why, don't you like him? I really like him. But, you want
[speaker008:] You're not!
[Richard:] I... but I won't then.
[speaker008:] I'll just have one. James.
[Richard:] Yes.
[speaker008:] Yeah, why him?
[Richard:] I just thought, what the hell! I don't anybody absolutely rowdy and out of it... if somebody's... to be perfectly honest.
[speaker008:] I have to kept on a strict leash do I [LAUGHTER] fucking []
[Richard:] Yes you do.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] So, you definitely, Murphy definitely, Tony definitely... cos Tony and Paul get on well with all of them.
[speaker008:] Can Donna be easily offended?
[Richard:] No.
[speaker008:] Good! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Er... Donna definitely, Helen definitely, Jenny definitely
[speaker008:] Are they da, easily offended?
[Richard:] What Jenny and Helen?
[speaker008:] Mm.
[Richard:] Mm mm mm mm, depends. Erm
[speaker008:] Well you know something that I could say
[Richard:] Oh you won't!
[speaker008:] that
[Richard:] Sarah definitely!
[speaker008:] Is she sensitive then?
[Richard:] Oh [LAUGHTER] I dunno []!
[speaker008:] No, I don't mean like that.
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Willing to find out []! I'm willing to find out! Ooh yes! But er, definitely, she has to come.
[speaker008:] Got a nice arse! Are you a buttock king? [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Oh yes! Very tasty, yes! Though, yeah, but she may think, oh well! But erm... so she's got to, you're gonna make a list of people
[speaker008:] Is she she easily offended?
[Richard:] No. She's quite friendly to talk to actually. Er, Eleanor... Rebecca... she's actually quite a party animal when she gets going!
[speaker008:] What do you want her for?
[Richard:] She's quite a good laugh! She gets on well everyone. You want people who feel confident in a group.
[speaker008:] Aha!
[Richard:] You want some... you want some ringleaders who get on well, so you sort of bully them into things, which Donna is! Definitely!
[speaker008:] Oh she's ah, I can imagine her a bit bossy actually.
[Richard:] She is bossy leader basically!
[speaker008:] Yes, I can imagine that.
[Richard:] So we're just going to practise what we saw yesterday.
[speaker008:] I can imagine her with a whip, you know, ka! And getting to like it!
[Richard:] Oh really!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] She's even better from a big
[speaker008:] Well she's a twenty pounder definitely.
[Richard:] Certain definite. But you don't want to have people sort of splitting up into groups... like you say, sort of standing around... which will be a bit embarrassing. You want... to get them in, see the drink, have a drink... and basically... get drinking. Ow! What was that? Look!
[speaker008:] Er, can you just sort of promise me something?
[Richard:] What?
[speaker008:] That Donna isn't, won't come, arrive
[Richard:] Yes.
[speaker008:] but I'm, after I'm there?
[Richard:] Right.
[speaker008:] Well therefore, no other lads can have their way before me! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Richard just, ooh ah!
[Richard:] Well I don't believe you're gonna just... do away with her! Unless she's completely drunk, blind drunk... and I haven't already given her a good seeing to!
[speaker008:] I'm sure she will.
[Richard:] So, to be perfectly honest I think er... you're out of luck mate! Cos, I will be first in line!
[speaker008:] But what, I protest!
[Richard:] I will be first!
[speaker008:] No! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] It's er, well
[speaker008:] This is it! I'm ju
[Richard:] It's highly surprising! Just a minute.
[speaker008:] Never touch the
[Richard:] And... dad thinks it should be alright, no hassle! Mum's iffy, but she says with... er
[speaker008:] Er, are they going to be there as well?
[Richard:] No,
[speaker008:] Oh well!
[Richard:] Oh come on!
[speaker003:] Going to Hoover!
[Richard:] Bloody cramping our stu, they'll be a bit cramping our style wouldn't they? Come on!
[speaker008:] But,a, not your style Ri, yours perhaps, not mine!
[Richard:] Oh well!
[speaker008:] I just carry on as normal! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] But, no definitely not. No,th I'm sending them up
[speaker008:] So when is this thing gonna be?
[Richard:] Well... if it, dad says two weeks now, so it could be next, not this Saturday coming, the Saturday after. Or it could be the Saturday
[speaker008:] Not the Saturday... two days time? But the one
[Richard:] No.
[speaker008:] next one after that?
[Richard:] Yeah. Or it could be the Saturday after that one.
[speaker008:] I want you to do it as soon as possible!
[Richard:] Yes, I should really. But
[speaker008:] [belch]
[Richard:] erm
[speaker008:] [belch]
[Richard:] it does become a problem.
[speaker008:] What about Sam?
[Richard:] No! She's too
[speaker008:] Oh oh!
[Richard:] much of a trout!
[speaker008:] She's too much of a what?
[Richard:] Trout.
[speaker008:] Trout?
[Richard:] Yeah. She's an old fish! Look at that, that's all my German! Mm mm, yeah.
[speaker008:] Bloody hell! What are they?
[Richard:] That's all the German cards I put down all my vocabulary.
[speaker008:] Ah, but do you, do you actually learn them? [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Not yet. I haven't had time.
[speaker008:] Er, not yet!
[Richard:] Haven't had time.
[speaker008:] You've had time to write that lot haven't you?
[Richard:] So... so basically, in a minute, have to sit down and write a list of who is going to come and who is not... and what order.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]... Now if you went out for a ferry, you'd have one of us... guarding the stereo... one person on that. Take all the!
[Richard:] If you take all these off you get a fre, two free pizzas... but I'm not gonna
[speaker008:] That's what I've always wanted!
[Richard:] but I'm not gonna get to use these you see.
[speaker008:] I'll take them then.
[Richard:] It's ridiculous! Because you can't... er, I can't really take it out. See, I get three small pizzas if I took all these off.
[speaker008:] Well go on then, I'll start taking them off for you.
[Richard:] But I can't! You see... she's collecting it at four thirty. Oh God!
[speaker008:] Oh! Oh, what are you gonna say me, relationship? He just exists!
[Richard:] Friends.
[speaker008:] Someone I met!
[Richard:] Yeah. I better fill in these actually. Er... I need a thing. Oh Christ! Is it... have you got a pen on you? No, no, no, oh God you're useless!
[speaker008:] In my... coat pocket.
[Richard:] Er, you got one in your coat pocket?
[speaker008:] Mm.
[Richard:] Get it out then! I haven't got one.
[speaker008:] What about my pen in the coat pocket?
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] So Sarah 's got to come!
[speaker008:] Why, you got
[Richard:] Serious!
[speaker008:] the stimulator on her at the moment.
[Richard:] Serious! Yes, yes! Wow! I just turn, I think I better tidy the room up that night. I think she's
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] You don't [] her as well do you?
[Richard:] Well... it's
[speaker008:] Erm!
[Richard:] er, well [LAUGHTER]... yes, definitely! You have to admit, she's better than a kick in the wot-nots! Right, so er... tape, what day did I do this? Tape, tape two.
[speaker008:] So it leaves me Sarah, Helen, Jenny, and Donna are all gonna be being chased after by you?
[Richard:] Yep!
[speaker008:] Lucky them! Ha! Ha!
[Richard:] Lucky me! It's my party cos I'm gonna stand at the door and everybody has to give me a big french kiss when they come in... the door! Apart from you! I don't mean you and the boys!
[speaker008:] Oh thank you very much!
[Richard:] I mean the girls! I mean the girls! [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Good!.
[Richard:] So erm... basically jus
[speaker008:] They wouldn't [LAUGHTER] have found out about me []!
[Richard:] What time did I start doing this, er, tape? That one? Ah crumbs! Er... about eleven A M. Er, in which town, Broadstone
[speaker008:] Er er er er er er er ma ma
[Richard:] This is worth twenty five quid. Erm
[speaker008:] I've got... I've got
[Richard:] What were you doing during the conversations? Now that was
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] wha, during the conversation... sitting... in a car
[speaker008:] On the back seat. Legs
[Richard:] then
[speaker008:] through the window!
[Richard:] in [LAUGHTER] classroom []. See, it's not bad, it's in a classroom. Right! Er, in the space provided please write your names and details, no there isn't any. Right! First name... crumbs! Who was on that tape? That was the doc, so it was me, Phil
[speaker008:] Oh! I think was... Michael
[Richard:] No.
[speaker008:] ?
[Richard:] No. Then it was mum. No! Get stuffed! They're not coming!
[speaker008:] Well, aren't they the life of [LAUGHTER] the party []?
[Richard:] Yeah, but if you don't invite them,tha, I'll talk to you about it in a minute. It's ridiculous! My mum sa, and then it was... dad... me. Occupation? Student. Occupation? Doctor... teacher... er, what's dad's?
[speaker008:] Mm mm.
[Richard:] Director. Er, me, student. Age? Oh Christ! What is my age? Sixteen.
[speaker008:] Don't even know your age?
[Richard:] Forty two
[speaker008:] Do you know your own, own name as well?
[Richard:] forty two. What did I put dad down as being, age wise? Forty two as, I suppose.
[speaker008:] Ooh! Come on!
[Richard:] He is actually. That is the truth. Forty two, sixteen. Sex? Male, male
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Yes please []!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] female
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] male, male. Regional accent? Haven't a clue! Right!
[speaker008:] [mimicking West Country accent] Dorset []!
[Richard:] Friend.
[speaker008:] Who's that?
[Richard:] Doctor. Mother
[speaker008:] Enemy! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Father. Do you want a drink?
[speaker008:] It's alright.
[Richard:] You sure?
[speaker008:] Yeah, I've got some.
[Richard:] Well give us a... yell if you want er... if you want a drink or anything. Erm... side two, have I just this side two? Yes I have. What's the date today?
[speaker008:] Thirteen, fifteen,sixt, twenty seventh.
[Richard:] Twenty seventh of the second... ninety two. What time did we start recording this? Now, this was about five P M... Broadstone Oh er, what were doing during the conversation? What was I doing? Talking yo, talking to... you.
[speaker008:] Am I in that?
[Richard:] Yes, you're on it, moron!
[speaker008:] What have you written about me?
[Richard:] Talking to pervert! To friend. Erm... jus... right! Me, Andy
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] You Jane []!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Occupation? Student.
[speaker008:] Are you writing about me?
[Richard:] Yep! Student. Age? What's your age? Sixteen and sixteen, that's right. You're only two mo, two days older than me, or one day older. Sex? Er, not sure! Ba zed! Relationship? Friend, I think! Right. And that's, that what one's er basically doing pretty well know we're getting the near the end of that tape.
[speaker008:] This one, it's got one with Donna on that side.
[Richard:] That's that stupid tape done! Oh God! What's this leaflet for?
[speaker008:] Oh no!
[Richard:] Oh that's tapes fifteen to twenty, I mean ten to twenty. But, I haven't
[speaker008:] You
[Richard:] got that far.
[speaker008:] How many tapes you gonna record?
[Richard:] Three. Supposed to get twenty done but I'm not gonna get that many... bu, cos I've been away you see and doing school.
[speaker008:] Ah!
[Richard:] Right! Now, we've got a list to do.
[speaker008:] Just take it into school.
[Richard:] No. No way!
[speaker008:] Why not?
[Richard:] Cos I'm not daring! Now, basically we have to decide
[speaker008:] You mean, you mean the vocabulary will be too intense?
[Richard:] Exactly! We basically
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] have to decide
[speaker008:] Ooh! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Sh!
[speaker008:] Do you have to do this for
[Richard:] Sh!
[speaker008:] me! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] We basically have to decide who is gonna come, and who isn't. Do you think we should invite Stuart?
[speaker008:] I don't know.
[Richard:] I'm not sure about him. What do you reckon?
[speaker008:] Oh he can be real quiet and... actually one little thing
[Richard:] I think he will be quiet.
[speaker008:] could make him go won't it? [LAUGHTER] And []
[Richard:] I think he will be quiet cos he'll be embarrassed and all the girls will be there.
[speaker008:] I'll be embarrassed if I told [LAUGHTER] Stuart to come []!
[Richard:] Becau, well what do you reckon? I don't think he, I think he wo... I dunno. Daniel will stare like a gormless goit!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] He does [], I know! He with a door post!
[Richard:] Would you go round a circulate and talk to girls?
[speaker008:] Oh, I expect I... I'd be persuaded to do so.
[Richard:] Well, do you think you would?
[speaker008:] Well, yeah, I suppose so. Depends who it was.
[Richard:] Donna?
[speaker008:] Mm mm!
[Richard:] No, you wouldn't! Helen?
[speaker008:] Helen? Helen, who?
[Richard:] .
[speaker008:] Yeah, possibly.
[Richard:] You blooming better not do!
[speaker008:] Alright! What are you asking
[Richard:] She
[speaker008:] me for then!
[Richard:] she's my property!
[speaker008:] Alright I'll... le leave her alone then! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Yeah, you damn well will! You can talk to erm
[speaker008:] Stuart! Thank you very much!
[Richard:] Yeah. [LAUGHTER]... Well Georgina will be coming.
[speaker008:] Will she? Wanna make a mess? [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Ow!
[speaker008:] I'll kill you! Ah, get off!
[Richard:] Erm... so basically, well that's what we'll do. I do so Stuart, I don't think Stuart should. I don't think Danny should, will.
[speaker008:] Oh him as well! He's in half as well now, Helen.
[Richard:] Is it?
[speaker008:] Oh I don't know.
[Richard:] I reckon it is. Right! So
[speaker008:] Well name a person who doesn't fancy her.
[Richard:] Difficult!
[speaker008:] ! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] ! And he's not coming, no way! Whisht! No way! No way! So, let's make a rough guide. Donna, Helen, Jenny... who else?
[speaker008:] What?
[Richard:] Georgina, Claire, Claire, Sarah
[speaker008:] Enough of her to go round! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] She's, damn right!
[speaker008:] She's
[Richard:] Er
[speaker008:] only got!
[Richard:] I've lost the flipping names again! No need to. [mimicking German accent] I will write it down []! Right!
[speaker008:] [sighing] Oh []!
[Richard:] Let's have a look. Right, erm... who is it? What's her name? I've got Claire, no right! Donna,
[speaker008:] Er, er er er!
[Richard:] Helen
[speaker008:] Mm, mm mm! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] You flipping get that off your mind for start!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Jenny... er, Georgina... oh yes! Georgina, er, who else is there? Erm... oh, don't know what's the name of her!
[speaker008:] Wacko-Jacko.
[Richard:] Donna, Helen, Jenny, Georgina... oh! Claire
[speaker008:] How many Claires are you having? How many times have you put Claire?
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] What, she count as two people or something does she?
[Richard:] Claire, Claire
[speaker008:] Oh her as well? Oh God!
[Richard:] Sarah... Sarah... erm... which other girls were we gonna er... invite? Er, who else is there normally in her group? Not gonna invite Abby.
[speaker008:] Well I don't think she's time actually.
[Richard:] Rebecca. Isn't, oh she is, now.
[speaker008:] Is she?
[Richard:] Yeah. Rebecca... erm
[speaker008:] Os what do you want her for? Because she's not gonna know anyone who's there is she?
[Richard:] Yes! Cos she gets on well with a lot of those. Jessica... she gets on well with Donna
[speaker008:] Oh my God! It's, why don't you invite the whole school, what the heck!
[Richard:] Erm Costas we better invite cos he's a boy.
[speaker008:] Could you any more.
[Richard:] I think it'll just you and me here! [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Yep!
[Richard:] I like those odds! Right!
[speaker008:] What you should do is tag them when they come in.
[Richard:] Yes!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Where? Sarah
[speaker008:] No you can give them little stickers and say, hello, hi, my name's Donna! Stick it on her forehead, [LAUGHTER] you know []!
[Richard:] Sarah. Right! So you got Donna, Helen, Jenny, Georgina, Claire, Claire, Sarah, Rebecca, Jessica... and Sarah.
[speaker008:] Why Jessica?
[Richard:] Cos she's a, good friends with Rebecca. Who else is there?
[speaker008:] We're actually flexible.
[Richard:] Tony. I know it.
[speaker008:] I don't fancy him much, I got
[Richard:] Yes, Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, maybe, yes, definitely! Right! Tony
[speaker008:] Ooh Tony! Wow! He's... he's such a party isn't he?
[Richard:] He gets on well with that lot. Paul
[speaker008:] Like who?
[Richard:] You and
[speaker008:] Name one?
[Richard:] Andy, Sarah.
[speaker008:] Who Tony?
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Tony, Paul, Andy
[speaker008:] Do you want me go hire a video camera while I'm at it?
[Richard:] Yeah, be a good laugh!
[speaker008:] I think it would be, yeah.
[Richard:] I think it might be worthwhile actually. It's a good idea!
[speaker008:] How much is it to hire a video camera for us all?
[Richard:] Can't be more than fifteen quid... for a night.
[speaker008:] You have to pay for the tape don't you?
[Richard:] Oh God! I'll pay for the tape. It's not a bad idea at all.
[speaker008:] Yeah, Rich! a video camera.
[Richard:] Da da da da da, da, da get Donna... rat-arsed! Yes! That
[speaker008:] No you're not allowed to use the camera when I'm busy!
[Richard:] Now that's a word I want on the tape, rat-arsed! Good word! Erm
[speaker008:] It's brilliant!
[Richard:] So Paul, Andy, who else is the boys, we've only got three boys, me
[speaker008:] That's enough! That's enough!
[Richard:] four boys, erm
[speaker008:] Paul.
[Richard:] , yep!
[speaker008:] ?
[Richard:] Yep.
[speaker008:] James, the party animal!
[Richard:] No! Not James, that's right.
[speaker003:] [whispering] []! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Oh, get lost! No way!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] So Ste, er, not Steve...
[speaker008:] Karen will certainly liven it up I think, she's a drunkard!
[Richard:] Well we got six boys now, and two, four, six, eight
[speaker008:] Don't you think?
[Richard:] ten. Two, just a minute, four... eight, ten girls, and six boys. Er... who else is there?
[speaker008:] That's four left over.
[Richard:] If we can get... we nee, can probably get another ten people yet.
[speaker008:] You don't want loads of people though.
[Richard:] You want a reasonable size, so people get on well with each other. Who else is there?
[speaker008:] We well they're gonna know everyone aren't they?
[Richard:] What about Kate?
[speaker008:] What about her?
[Richard:] Invite her?
[speaker008:] Well sh, does she know any of these people?
[Richard:] Course she does!
[speaker008:] Tell yo, well I dunno do I? I mean
[Richard:] Put her down as a poss. Erm... you pu
[speaker008:] Enough.
[Richard:] oh I suppose you pu, better put Stuart down.
[speaker008:] Oh no!
[Richard:] And Danny down.
[speaker008:] It is gonna be so embarrassing!
[Richard:] And down.
[speaker008:] Do you think you could keep away from me by the way?
[Richard:] Yes I know.
[speaker008:] He is a not a
[Richard:] Paul
[speaker008:] away from me.
[Richard:] One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. Five more.
[speaker008:] No!
[Richard:] Another five more.
[speaker008:] No we don't!
[Richard:] Yeah you wa, we wi... who ar, who other girls are there?
[speaker008:] Where are you gonna put all these people, like in the
[Richard:] Downstairs in the main two rooms, and the kitchen. If we have alcoholic... non alcoholic, fruit juices, mulled wine
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Love juices []!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] soup and salad []!
[Richard:] What food can we get?
[speaker008:] What? Oh sorry, I thought
[Richard:] You've been drinking again tonight haven't you? I have
[speaker008:] Well actually I've had a half a bottle of I don't know if you've [LAUGHTER] but
[Richard:] At a push.
[speaker008:] he thought he's drunk it all, but yeah []!
[Richard:] Er... who else is there? What are the girls, other, that we've always wanted to invite to a party and we haven't bothered before?
[speaker008:] Donna!
[Richard:] Got Donna.
[speaker008:] Donna.
[Richard:] Got Donna.
[speaker008:] She's the only one in the whole
[Richard:] What about Sarah? No, I bet she'd come actually.
[speaker008:] Very good friends.
[Richard:] Yeah, she's more friendly with the rest of them int she? The other bou bunch.
[speaker008:] Mm. Yeah.
[Richard:] What about Helen, as in the other Helen?
[speaker008:] Helen who?
[Richard:] ?
[speaker008:] Oh yeah, she's alright.
[Richard:] Do you reckon I should her down?
[speaker008:] Yeah.
[Richard:] Yeah, she gets on alright with those. Helen is not coming! No way! Er
[speaker008:] What about Sadie?
[Richard:] Oh get stuffed!
[speaker008:] Sam?
[Richard:] No!
[speaker008:] I think she'd liven it up.
[Richard:] I don't care! She's not coming and that's final!
[speaker008:] I I'll see her when she's sober cos she's ever so drunk!
[Richard:] Er, who else is there?
[speaker008:] Does she bounce a lot?
[Richard:] Ah, I don't, I know, she's a good... yes well!
[speaker008:] She's alright. She's
[Richard:] She's
[speaker008:] herself!
[Richard:] so common!
[speaker008:] She's not all reserved then is she? I mean
[Richard:] You only reserved
[speaker008:] she's gonna
[Richard:] people! I'm not having people
[speaker008:] But
[Richard:] wrecking the house, and that's final! Erm
[speaker008:] Not actually. Oh yeah.
[Richard:] Er, who else is there? Erm
[speaker008:] I shall try and split my bodily structure.
[Richard:] Who else is there? There must be some other girls. Who's in our science group? Go through the list of science group people.
[speaker008:] Costas, Sarah, Andrew
[Richard:] Got her.
[speaker008:] Claire.
[Richard:] Got her.
[speaker008:] Donna.
[Richard:] Got her. Got her.
[speaker008:] Eleanor.
[Richard:] Got her.
[speaker008:] Eleanor?
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker008:] Oh alright then. Erm, who else is there? Judith, Cathy
[Richard:] No. No.
[speaker008:] Mel.
[Richard:] No.
[speaker008:] Sarah.
[Richard:] No.
[speaker008:] There's one more, that's the once innit?
[Richard:] [sighing] Oh, I know [], erm.
[speaker008:] No.
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] No []!
[speaker008:] Definite that.
[Richard:] No, definite. No, there's none there. Erm... Claire, Kate, Rebecca, Helen... Jenny, on that table
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Your planning where they're gonna be are you?
[Richard:] No, I was thinking of history, what th, where they are in history. Erm... so you've now got two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve, fourteen, sixteen, eighteen, twenty, twenty one... so far. Four more. That's pushing it! Dad'll let twenty five I think. And everybody's gotta bring a present, so that's twenty five presents I get! Twenty four presents, that's not bad! [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] And what sort of presents do you want?
[Richard:] Yes!
[speaker008:] You know, like sort of... translucent and
[Richard:] About four foot, five foot tall, yeah. Erm
[speaker008:] Oh well, well don't worry!
[Richard:] Who else is there? There's loads of oth, Georgina, have I got Georgina? I've got Georgina. Erm... erm, erm
[speaker008:] Why was she dressed up today?
[Richard:] Cos she was going to the panto thingy. I normally invite Sarah... whatsaname,gro,Sa Claire, er Claire
[speaker008:] Wha, aha.
[Richard:] cos she's gonna want to bring Gary with her.
[speaker008:] Oh God!
[Richard:] And I ain't having him round! Erm... I've got, what other boys are there? Who else hangs in our, oh Phil, I'm not gonna invite Phil!
[speaker008:] He'll just say prayers in the corner, [LAUGHTER] you know []!
[Richard:] Do you reckon I should get Phil?
[speaker008:] He'll have the sinner box and everyone's gone upstairs and have their bit of nooky, they can all come down and confess to him! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []! Do you reckon Phil?
[speaker008:] Dunno, invite who you like!
[Richard:] Oh sod it! Put him down. Er [LAUGHTER] ha []
[speaker008:] It's like er, nobody dislikes?
[Richard:] Nobody dislikes him, but nobody knows him!
[speaker008:] Oh there you, [LAUGHTER] you're safe then aren't you []?
[Richard:] Right! Let's go through the list. Kate, she knows Donna doesn't she?... Doesn't she?
[speaker008:] Ah?
[Richard:] Kate, she knows Donna doesn't she?
[speaker008:] Well on fa front of Gavin 's file there are the words... Donna loves Kate.
[Richard:] Ah! Ka
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] I thi I think they were []!
[Richard:] Kate knows Helen, Kate knows Jenny, Kate knows Georgina Cla, knows Claire, Kate knows Claire too. Kate knows Sarah, Kate knows Rebecca, Kate knows Jessica, Kate knows Sarah, Jessica
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Kate knows Tony, Paul, you, me,,, yeah she knows everybody... apart from Phil, probably.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Nobody knows Phil []!
[Richard:] Two Helens? Why have I got two Helens? Helens who? Helen
[speaker008:] and.
[Richard:] and, right! Helen. Erm
[speaker008:] Th, we should make it fancy dress.
[Richard:] Yeah! None at all!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Great idea! At least you can turn up with a sheet.
[speaker008:] wilder or something.
[Richard:] Er, ah ah! Let's just say, ah ca be ah bip bam boo! Erm
[speaker008:] Eh?
[Richard:] Play strip bam boo.
[speaker008:] Oh!
[Richard:] Er
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] What else? Who else is there?
[speaker008:] I dunno.
[Richard:] We need about three more.
[speaker008:] Who else hangs round in the corner.
[Richard:] What, our corner?
[speaker008:] Yeah.
[Richard:] Er er er er er er
[speaker008:] Glen!
[Richard:] Oh not Glen! No!
[speaker008:] He's a good laugh!
[Richard:] Nah, not Glen!
[speaker008:] He's a good laugh!
[Richard:] Nah! Not Glen, not Simon
[speaker008:] Oh yeah!
[Richard:] Not... there's only about, there's only, so what, who else comes to our parties, er normally, our little ones? It's normally, you, me I've got, Tony I've got,And, er
[speaker008:] And me!
[Richard:] Stuart I've got.
[speaker008:] Stuart's gonna so embarrassing!
[Richard:] Ma Carl I've got. Who else is
[speaker008:] I mean Stuart is gonna be quiet or he's gonna be [LAUGHTER] really loud []!
[Richard:] He'll be quiet. In front of this lot he'll... would
[speaker008:] If he's not drunk anyhow which
[Richard:] he'll have no choice. We're gonna need loads of booze! And loads of food! I should say, if I, see if everybody put a pound towards it... that's another twenty five quid.
[speaker008:] Aha.
[Richard:] But you can't ask to put a pound really... can you? Really?
[speaker008:] Where do you get, hire video cameras from?
[Richard:] Holmans
[speaker008:] Ah, will they do, how will they?
[Richard:] Just borrow, hire one from... Holmans
[speaker008:] I don't wanna go down to Wimbourne do I?
[Richard:] Er... Harris
[speaker008:] But
[Richard:] and Nash
[speaker008:] I thought they do it at
[Richard:] down the road. So that's twenty si
[speaker008:] I mean I'm skint at the moment I've I've I've hardly got any money money at the moment.
[Richard:] Oh, it's not for a while anyway so you needn't worry. So that's that.
[speaker008:] Get all the details shall I? Or
[Richard:] Yes.
[speaker008:] Because people act weird in front of video cameras.
[Richard:] I hope so. I hope Donna acts weird in front of video cameras.
[speaker008:] I think acts really weird most of the time.
[Richard:] Oh well!
[speaker008:] Hear her squeaking away on that
[Richard:] She was very nice on the er, phone, I have to admit that's what I er... she's
[speaker008:] On the phone, or on the bed, on the floor! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] On the floor, exactly []! Yes! Exactly! Erm
[speaker008:] On the table.
[Richard:] So that's the people.
[speaker008:] Who answered the phone?
[Richard:] She did.
[speaker008:] How did she answer it?
[Richard:] Er er er... hello!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]... Oh well.
[Richard:] She said it in her nice little voice, and I said hello, is Donna there please? And she said, [mimicking] speaking []!
[speaker008:] [mimicking] Ee ee ee []!
[Richard:] That's right. [mimicking] Speaking []!
[speaker008:] At the studios you have a thing called pitching, there's a little pitcher
[Richard:] Oh yeah!
[speaker008:] and you sound like Mickey Mouse, ha!
[Richard:] Oh well there's
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Really embarrassing [].
[Richard:] well there's not much difference.
[speaker008:] I wonder what she sounds like when she's humping you?
[Richard:] Er, I think she's.
[speaker008:] I think she's like.
[Richard:] But who el, there's always other people! Who else? What other girls, dream girls would you like to invite? Really beautiful bombshells! Cos we're talking, this is gonna be... one wild party! And I can't think of anybody. Or do you think that's enough?
[speaker008:] That's enough.
[Richard:] Right! Well we'll do that, unless they suggest somebody else. Er, what to do. And if every, everybody brings a friend... then you're looking at fifty people, and I'm not looking at fifty people, I'm looking at... this lot. I'm not... saying
[speaker008:] If they're all friends with each other they'll all bring each other won't they?
[Richard:] Exactly! So that's basically twenty fiv,pe, that's enough. Shall we do a little list on the computer, write it up?
[speaker008:] Oh yes!
[Richard:] So I can sho
[speaker008:] Put them on the word processor, yes!
[Richard:] So I can show Donna... and see what she thinks of the list?
[speaker008:] She might find my titles good.
[Richard:] Yes, we can wri, I'll put it in a minute when this tape's finished. It's only got about another
[speaker008:] As I said, Sam wo Sa Sam would be a good laugh.
[Richard:] Tell you what, I'm gonna turn it off. Yeah, but... she
[speaker008:] Should have seen her P S E, she was a laugh!
[Richard:] Yeah, I know. She's was blooming yawning!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Stuart was []
[Richard:] Yes.
[speaker008:] so he tried not to look but he's, you know
[Richard:] And he's a... well, I don't know. See I'm gonna use this as a exercise to prove what a charmer I am... basically!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Or what an idiot you are []!
[Richard:] Well dad'll put... afford a fair amount, and I'll have to put, afford a load of money.
[speaker008:] Do you think I should bring a video camera?
[Richard:] If you can afford to get one, yeah. I don't think it'll get used. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] I'll sacrifice something to video.
[Richard:] Not until we're drunk anyway. But, I've gotta get mum and dad out the house somehow. I shall try and arrange with Jean to get them that der, night. To go up her place for a dinner party or something.
[speaker008:] But, I was trying to think who knows?
[Richard:] If we can sort of get them out for... a night... or even if they get back at twelve. Yeah, what time do you reckon this party should go on till?
[speaker008:] At least eleven o'clock I should think.
[Richard:] I was gonna say past eleven, Christ Andy!
[speaker008:] Well that's what I said er past eleven o'clock.
[Richard:] I was gonna say twelve, what do you reckon? Twelve, half twelve?
[speaker008:] That'll be alright, yeah.
[Richard:] Cos by the time, that's about long enough isn't it?
[speaker008:] What?
[Richard:] You watch, eleven o'clock we'll all start to get really friendly with them
[speaker008:] And nearly time to go home!
[Richard:] And it's time to go home, exactly! It's so damn sickening! And then they'll, they'll completely return to their normal way... on Monday morning. Oh, it's a pain in the arse! So, if, if I put twenty five forward, or fifty forward and dad puts fifty forward... that's a hundred, we can get a fair bit of food for a hundred quid couldn't we?
[speaker008:] Hundred quid! You could buy the shop for that much!
[Richard:] Well for a hundred we can get a reasonable amount.
[speaker008:] A load!
[Richard:] Well say you spent fifty quid on booze
[speaker008:] Yeah.
[Richard:] you're looking at probably, you wanna get... two twenty four packs, at least!
[speaker008:] I can't imanan,a imagine Donna sort of putting away a six pack!
[Richard:] Christ, she does! She drinks... like a horse! I'm talking severe boozer! She's been out, I've seen her off her face! She's been off her face quite a lot actually. She likes being at parties and getting off her face! So er... if we do that, we'll get two twenty four pack, they've got a load. I tell you what... I will buy the minimum amount of drink, i.e. a twenty four pack... and some wine, and do the mulled wine... and everybody else can bring a bottle or some food. Do it that way. Say, it's basically, bring a bottle, or bring some grub. Right?
[speaker008:] Splendid!
[Richard:] Do it that way.
[speaker008:] You know when you walk home, do you walk anywhere past Harris and Nash anywhere near it?
[Richard:] No, but I can pop down there on Saturday.
[speaker008:] Well if you could, I mean, probably it's a further way out from where I live.
[Richard:] I'll pop down Saturday.
[speaker008:] And how much for a... basic video camera.
[Richard:] Have a word is... just a basic jobby. It's a, it's a little memento isn't it? We can do copies of. And sound.
[speaker008:] And I'm not gonna be any, in any of them!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... You will be!
[speaker008:] Paul 's got one!
[Richard:] What a video camera?
[speaker008:] Or his dad has. He's got a, a video.
[Richard:] Oh! Nah! He won't let us borrow that!
[speaker008:] Why does wanna come?
[Richard:] And he ain't! is not gonna, I tell you that for a start! No way! You can just imagine at nine o'clock we've all gotta walk him home! I'd die!
[speaker008:] Have we got to walk any of the girls by any chance.
[Richard:] Well it depends if they want to stay the night. I mean, some of them, if it's twelve o'clock they'll no, they'll say sod it and sleep the night! [whispering], just get []
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Oh! Could you imagine, a pyjama party []! Yes! Knowing Stuart she's probably got a little hole down there and he can just [LAUGHTER] flop it out []!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Tights are on backwards to make sure []!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... Shall we do that?
[speaker008:] What?
[Richard:] Ye, shall we have a pyjama party?
[speaker008:] Oh yeah, that'll be nice won't it?
[Richard:] That'll be brilliant! Oh good! with nighties! Cor! Wow! [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] No, but I can imagine that!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []! Oh! Ooh!
[speaker008:] Probably share the same actually.
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... Ooh I co, ooh I'm liking the idea of this more and more! Yes!
[speaker008:] Oh no! Ooh!
[Richard:] Oh definitely! Mm! So
[speaker008:] Oh I shall look forward to this now! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Yeah, it'll be a great laugh! So, that's what we'll have to do then. I'll have a word with Donna tomorrow see we, if she thinks it's a good idea
[speaker008:] The High Priestess!
[Richard:] and make sure.
[speaker008:] Make her se, listen to her crystal ball and read the tea leaves.
[Richard:] Exactly! See what she thinks. If she thinks it's a good idea, we will then have erm... a word with... I'll make sure it's okay with dad and mum first... basically.
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] We've... you've planned all this well they better let []
[Richard:] And check to make sure cos they're gonna have an... argument about it, I can see it! Dad will say yes and mum will say no! So
[speaker008:] Well, if they have pity on me, you know.
[Richard:] Exactly! It's gotta, you've gotta have booze though.
[speaker008:] Mm.
[Richard:] You cannot have an evening with no booze!
[speaker008:] But they don't like that do they?
[Richard:] What?
[speaker008:] The booze.
[Richard:] Who?
[speaker008:] Your dad and mum I meant.
[Richard:] Oh dad won't, mum will. Dad will have no problem, but he'll say you can get lager and stuff... no problem. He, there won't be any spirits, they'll say no spirits. They'll say, right you can have lager and you can have wine. But mu mum will say no to everything! So, basically they'll be an argument between he, him and mum.
[speaker008:] Who's gonna win. [sigh]
[Richard:] Er... hopefully dad. So
[speaker008:] Yeah but who is going to win?
[Richard:] Dad. I hope!
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] And so, basically we'll open the main double doors downstairs so you can have people in... the living room and in the sitting room.
[speaker008:] And you should have a list upstairs and we can quickly
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Nobody would dare go upstairs would they []? I will if Bridget will come.
[speaker008:] I will, if Donna's there!
[Richard:] I'm wanna Donna and Sarah absolutely drunk and so erm, Helen as well. Why, that way. Taking all three upstairs and let them.
[speaker008:] Bloody hell!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Before it's... I'm gonna save the hot water... for the next three weeks! Looks like we'll be having showers []! Should be a laugh!
[speaker008:] I think I'll get a clean getaway!
[Richard:] True! Yes! Oh wow!
[speaker008:] Cos I'm clean on this one! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] I mean slightly, ah no this is gonna be a great laugh!
[speaker008:] Wo!
[Richard:] Such a thing to do! So, if I have a word with, like I say, with Donna and see what she thinks, if it's a good idea. [yawning] I will basically do that []. So, that's what I'll do. Great! It's gonna be a great laugh! I think if we get everybody by ooh, ten thirty we can have sort of... a game of strip Trivial Pursuit. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] And the only person we strip is Donna! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] That's right []! [LAUGHTER] And Sarah []! Cor! Yeah! Mm.
[speaker008:] To look
[Richard:] Yes! She is very tasty!
[speaker008:] Like!
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... Wow! Yes. Right, that's what we'll do! So, I'll get the booze from Macro... cos they do reasonable value... like, sort of the, twenty four pack for a tenner, so the er
[speaker008:] The other one down by
[Richard:] Yeah. Tha tha that's
[speaker008:] Down towards Poole?
[Richard:] Yeah.
[speaker008:] Yeah I know it.
[Richard:] That big one.
[speaker008:] I've been in there.
[Richard:] Yeah! There. Just do Ninti, oh they do Mas, Sega Master Systems for thirty two quid.
[speaker008:] Do they?
[Richard:] Yeah. It's
[speaker008:] Oh!
[Richard:] half price.
[speaker008:] Not, they don't include V A T in their prices.
[Richard:] No, exactly. That is, that adds it up. And for. Yeah, it does actually, it makes it forty
[speaker008:] I'm sure if you look round you can get a lot of electrical goodies cheap, or just as cheap in other places.
[Richard:] Yeah. Cos people still
[speaker008:] If you want a really place, there's a place in... Bristol, Richersan they're de dirt cheap.
[Richard:] Bristol?
[speaker008:] Bristol.
[Richard:] Oh, my dad's getting ne, new cooker and stuff from.
[speaker008:] I wonder if they, they used to do Hi-fi
[Richard:] Oh!
[speaker008:] and this sort of thing. They don't do that.
[Richard:] Oh right.
[speaker008:] You can get a... like, a similar one to this, perhaps not as good as this one but... buy it for twenty quid nearly.
[Richard:] Not bad!
[speaker008:] It's about that.
[Richard:] Yeah, that's a nice one isn't it?
[speaker008:] No with twin cassette decks.
[Richard:] Oh! Well that... is just a crap jobby anyway! Dirty job, I don't like... I, well it's alright. Nothing to argue about. God! How much further has this tape got to go? How much in that in your opinion.
[speaker008:] Made in Japan. Mine was made in Korea.
[Richard:] How much is that your opinion... to go?
[speaker008:] Well I dunno! I'll measure it.
[Richard:] It looks, there's about... sort of... quarter of a millimetre to go. I think it's about five minutes isn't that right?
[speaker008:] Mhm.
[Richard:] Oh what the hell! Keep talking and we'll go and print this stuff onto the computer, our little... list of names.
[speaker008:] We're talking just for the sake of it aren't we?
[Richard:] What? No not really! [music]
[speaker008:] Oh that's left on!
[Richard:] Oh!
[speaker008:] What's that, that's... that's Foreigner isn't it?
[Richard:] No. It's Brian Adams. [music] [singing] Only wanted to play a while, wo! And he taught me to fly like a bird, wo oh oh! Baby! Thought I'd died and gone to heaven!
[speaker008:] You ain't gonna hide in there!
[Richard:] But tonight I never... had before, yeah ah yeah! Thought I'd died and gone to heaven []! I hope this is number one again. This is probably number one. This is brilliant!
[speaker008:] About five in the charts now.
[Richard:] Number five?
[speaker008:] I think it's something like, five or six....
[Richard:] Oh!
[speaker008:] That's quite right.
[Richard:] It's a brilliant album! This is a brilliant song!
[speaker008:] ... make up the name.
[Richard:] Yeah. You got the album?
[speaker008:] You did my brother's copy. My brother wanted a copy.
[Richard:] What?
[speaker008:] My brother wanted a copy.
[Richard:] Oh did we do a copy for him?
[speaker008:] Yeah.
[Richard:] Oh that's alright then!
[speaker008:] I had it for about two weeks before I told him I'd got it! [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] He had one.
[speaker008:] And why not?
[Richard:] Oh, I'll take one box..., there you are oh jolly good
[speaker008:] Use of none for epi epitaxial
[Richard:] so it's tape one and tape two finished?
[speaker008:] Oh we're not doing badly
[Richard:] Yeah, according to this it says
[speaker008:] Oh wow
[Richard:] so we've finished the tape side B, [reading] on this page please write a detailed tape side A three [] er... er... oh three A three that's it there
[speaker008:] No, that is so
[Richard:] specific... now what's the date today?
[speaker008:] Dunno
[Richard:] Twenty seventh?
[speaker008:] Yep
[Richard:] Of the second ninety two, [reading] what time did you start recording this tape []? It was about seven o'clock... [reading] in which town []? Broadstone, God I hate filling in these stupid forms. [reading] what are you doing []? Talking to a friend
[speaker008:] Then I talked to Andy ha, ha
[Richard:] Mm... talking to a friend
[speaker008:] I got these so...
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] Has it got a lot talking to Donna on the phone
[Richard:] Donna?
[speaker008:] Yeah
[Richard:] She's very nice on the phone... very nice indeed... student, age sixteen, they're sixteen, male and male, relationship
[speaker008:] This has got a microphone on it, but
[Richard:] Yes I know, leave it off it makes a hell of a racket
[speaker008:] So does mine
[Richard:] So if that's that, that's not bad, so... yeah, so, so side three B now, so if we can get two and a half of three tapes done, cos then I can change the batteries and I get to keep, get a free pizza... which isn't a bad thing
[speaker008:] Urgh can't stand pizzas have Italian to start with
[Richard:] Oh I used to find that Stuart, and then I distinctly went off them, absolutely free pizza
[speaker008:] Stuart started off with pizza jokes
[Richard:] [reading] this and one other Kodak battery []... good God you've got to take two of them, oh sod that... ooh very nice, these cost quite a bit actually, it's three packets, ooh
[speaker008:] How much do you think a video camera actually cost then?
[Richard:] Fifteen quid, no more, no less
[speaker008:] How would
[Richard:] you
[speaker008:] you know?
[Richard:] wanna borrow it for a night don't you?
[speaker008:] Er just the one day I put
[Richard:] If you borrow the Friday night, if you put on the Friday night
[speaker008:] Yeah can take it back Saturday Why what's wrong with it? closed on the
[Richard:] you close it
[speaker008:] Why?
[Richard:] Just close it
[speaker008:] No you close it I don't want it closed
[Richard:] Oh do close And [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] There might be a fire
[Richard:] Ha, well there's a window out there
[speaker008:] Oh yeah, it's two storeys up
[Richard:] It's three storey drop, three storey actually
[speaker008:] How can it be three storey up?
[Richard:] Because there's another storey down the bottom floor, because if you noticed there's a huge great patio there, unfortunately, so er, so it's eight thirty seven, say you're being picked up nine thirty
[speaker008:] Yeah, go on
[Richard:] so we get another hour done, that's another hour of taping, so that's er one and a quarter tapes, sure you won't take it home?
[speaker008:] Take what home?
[Richard:] Tape recorder
[speaker008:] No, why?
[Richard:] three on this, do you want to take it to school tomorrow?
[speaker008:] I've already got a tape recorder haven't I?
[Richard:] Do you want to take it to school tomorrow?
[speaker008:] Not if you're bringing it
[Richard:] I mean I can give it to you to take it in tomorrow morning
[speaker008:] Why should I wanna bring it in?
[Richard:] Cos you can sort of talk to people on the way up and record you in the car...
[speaker008:] I'm not carrying that tape recorder around with you all day Richard
[Richard:] Well you strap it to your side of you
[speaker008:] I mean, when I talk to someone I'm turning it off, right?
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah fucking say
[speaker008:] There's no record of what I say to her
[Richard:] you're turning sourpuss as well, ho, ho, ho, no I suppose not, she's coming to pick it up at four thirty, that's when I get my money... which is very nice.
[speaker008:] I'm music room madness, that'll be interesting to record
[Richard:] Mm
[speaker008:] hee, hee, hee
[Richard:] and bit well I want some really good words in, like erm, spontaneous
[speaker008:] How you spell it?
[Richard:] abruptly
[speaker008:] Spunky
[Richard:] brouster [LAUGHTER] yes
[speaker008:] of those words
[Richard:] paddle, er I like the word paddle, you swim for it
[speaker008:] Yes, I'm sure you do
[Richard:] ooh
[speaker008:] I bet you'd like some bacon with this wouldn't you?
[Richard:] Yes I think, like some bacon with your ham? Erm
[speaker008:] Then there's a
[Richard:] you should do our Julian Carey like we did before
[speaker008:] Oh great
[Richard:] do his
[speaker008:] go to this party of Julian Carey
[Richard:] Do your Grace Jones thingy
[speaker008:] I don't do Grace Jones [LAUGHTER] I don't do anyone really
[Richard:] your Roger Moore, do your Roger Moore
[speaker008:] [mimicking Roger Moore] Oh, oh this Bond man's tedious []
[Richard:] oh this is hard
[speaker008:] [mimicking Roger Moore] Not as hard as the maths exam paper [] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Oh that's dead easy
[speaker008:] Oh yeah
[Richard:] Oh, yawn, what do you reckon you'll get for maths? A
[speaker008:] Dunno
[Richard:] A
[speaker008:] if I do well in the exam as I did last time round, yeah
[Richard:] You jammy sod
[speaker008:] I know, good innit?
[Richard:] that's fucking awful, I'm gonna get a C, er Stuart's not set to get anything is he? Big nought is not set to get passes in anything, do you know that? So he will go to school, unqualified, that is really sad cos he's done all the exams and everything
[speaker008:] English, how'd he do in English?
[Richard:] Er D's and E's
[speaker008:] Er geography
[Richard:] D below
[speaker008:] C, I don't think so
[Richard:] No not C D, he'd not put it to C D that's complete rubbish... no way
[speaker008:] does that, no I don't
[Richard:] Dunno what about science
[speaker008:] C D actually I think
[Richard:] say it, even if he gets C Ds, he's not be getting into college is he? He's a computer genius, but he's crap at everything else, geography he's useless at, economics he's useless at... I'm aiming basically for, I'd be happy with four As, five As maybe
[speaker008:] is gonna get nine of them
[Richard:] [yawning] Well so are you []
[speaker008:] Oh yeah
[Richard:] I'd be very surprised if you don't get, if you get less than eight As
[speaker008:] No way am I going to get an A for English literature
[Richard:] Oh no, nor am I, you'll get an A for design
[speaker008:] Maybe
[Richard:] A for art
[speaker008:] That probably not
[Richard:] Have you started your final art piece?
[speaker008:] Yeah
[Richard:] What are you drawing?
[speaker008:] Er dunno at the moment really
[Richard:] A bowl of fruit you're drawing
[speaker008:] Yeah, naked women actually
[Richard:] Oh yeah, do you get, do you get to do that later on
[speaker008:] I know, ha, ha
[Richard:] you can do that later on
[speaker008:] Ah, ah, I wonder if we'll be able to choose who the model is?
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Miss
[Richard:] Oh god don't, er E E C butter mountain, oh that's sick, no thank you, [yawning] oh god I'm tired [], but, oh well, you'll get A for science as well A for German
[speaker008:] Not a chance
[Richard:] You're very close last time for getting an A, in fact you did get an A didn't you?
[speaker008:] No
[Richard:] In marks, what you get?
[speaker008:] A B
[Richard:] Oh B, oh dear, oh god that's devastating, that was with no work
[speaker008:] Mm, mm
[Richard:] I wish you wouldn't blooming try and kill the dog
[speaker008:] Sorry
[Richard:] leave the poor sod alone
[speaker008:] it's fighting back
[Richard:] Oh, this is boring... what do we normally do? We're normally drinking aren't we, we're out somewhere, boogying the night
[speaker008:] So you've given up on the town park idea?
[Richard:] Yeah, it's gonna cost me too much... this is gonna cost me a hundred quid, a hundred quid and a party is a bloody lot of money if you look at it, to be perfectly honest, we need a D J
[speaker008:] D J?
[Richard:] just to log the records on and watch them and sort of
[speaker008:] Put the C D in the C D player and press shut
[Richard:] Yeah, that's what I do
[speaker008:] and play it and it'll just go on forever, and like my one just past the second song and it's stuck
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Have you checked it for hairs or anything?
[speaker008:] Yeah there's nothing wrong
[Richard:] what C D are you using?
[speaker008:] New ones
[Richard:] You've only got one C D haven't you?
[speaker008:] Got several
[Richard:] What have you got, anything? anything good I mean?
[speaker008:] Not particularly [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Why? What are they?
[speaker008:] Why they're only like Aha
[Richard:] you've got Aha on C D?
[speaker008:] Yeah
[Richard:] When did you go and buy C Ds then?
[speaker008:] Eh?
[Richard:] When did you go and buy those? You never spend your money
[speaker008:] I know
[Richard:] and you got Aha on C D? Anything else?
[speaker008:] Oh usual sort of compilation job Wings of Love I've got
[Richard:] Wings of Love, oh I like that
[speaker008:] Yes it's, it's sort of
[Richard:] oh, oh, I'll borrow Wings of Love
[speaker008:] just the, just, just the first song on that is the one I recorded with Sam
[Richard:] Oh god
[speaker008:] and the result was best play hear that song again, it really irritates me
[Richard:] I'll borrow Wings of Love, bring it in tomorrow
[speaker008:] Oh
[Richard:] I'll borrow that
[speaker008:] oh
[Richard:] so, I think we're now, call it eighty five plus tapes, got loads [yawn] [singing] over the wings of love []
[speaker008:] Get out of me you poofter
[Richard:] I'm trying to I'm tired... I'm very tired, in fact I think I'll go to sleep, I've had enough
[speaker008:] Look
[Richard:] I've had enough work today I've worked my nuts
[speaker008:] I bet you have
[Richard:] that ho have you read that how's it done?
[speaker008:] How's it done, on where?
[Richard:] It's very good, that big blue book
[speaker008:] Oh yeah
[Richard:] that's a brilliant book
[speaker008:] Ooh, ooh alive book is it?
[Richard:] Have you, not it's not, have you read Blop by the way as well?
[speaker008:] Yes I think Blop
[Richard:] Yeah you've had Blop
[speaker008:] [reading] How's it done? []
[Richard:] There's some very good stuff on erm music in there, C D systems and stuff, and laser discs
[speaker008:] Where?
[Richard:] If you look in the back, in the index, look up C D systems, laser discs and stuff [yawning] and records, there's stuff [] on records in there, oh
[speaker008:] Records are really crude
[Richard:] Yeah I know... almost as crude as you
[speaker008:] and I think you'll find some are even cruder
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] if she gets together, he
[Richard:] Oh er
[speaker008:] she is Stuart's kind of person really I think
[Richard:] I don't
[speaker008:] you see he's sort, he's so disgusting at times
[Richard:] I know so that was the phone going twice now, it's disgusting oh, I've gotta get er... what's it name, next week, next month, I can't remember what it's called, it's got Erica Hasslehoff, I mean Erica, tut in it anything of interest in it?... oh, oh, oh there we go, oh yes [yawning] oh, oh, er [], hee, hee, hee, hee, [humming]
[speaker008:] make electronic and music
[Richard:] Really?
[speaker008:] and that is quite a thing, ha
[Richard:] What is?
[speaker008:] synthesizers and how they work
[Richard:] Have you got a synthesizer?
[speaker008:] Mm
[Richard:] So what is your Technic thing then?
[speaker008:] A graphic equalizer
[Richard:] So basically
[speaker008:] posh one though
[Richard:] does it do anything?
[speaker008:] What do you mean, it don't play demo tunes or anything
[Richard:] Does it do anything?
[speaker008:] Yeah it's a graphic equalizer and it's got echo and things and rebo and things like that on it
[Richard:] Mm... you basically saving up for a complete system?
[speaker008:] More like
[Richard:] oh the odd and soddy pieces, like a hundred and fifty why?
[speaker008:] Well it sounds pretty naff really
[Richard:] So, you're gonna change the money from that into buying one ano a separate
[speaker008:] I don't know?
[Richard:] a Technic separate
[speaker008:] Erm, but then you need an amplifier
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] then the C D player and all
[Richard:] Mm...
[speaker008:] I won't make the best
[Richard:] no, no way
[speaker008:] What anyway?
[Richard:] No way
[speaker008:] What, they're industry standard they are
[Richard:] No way, don't want one
[speaker008:] You've got everything else, but
[Richard:] Yes, I agree
[speaker008:] the C D clip, the er, cassette player is amazing
[Richard:] No, I like Sony, Sony are very good what are the
[speaker008:] What you digging around for you got some worm or some valium or something
[Richard:] What does that machine do?
[speaker008:] Just load it, it's like, it's like, you use it like a normal tape recorder, you just use it like a tape recorder
[Richard:] And that's it?
[speaker008:] Yeah, you can record on it and it does a C D sound, that sort of thing
[Richard:] So you pay five hundred quid for a sort of normal
[speaker008:] Yeah but the sound quality thing is a lot better
[Richard:] Oh
[speaker008:] you can't get better than C D sound
[Richard:] can you? Oh, that's twice I don't know, don't make so much difference... but I'm only a, sort of uneducated slob, but there you go [yawning] oh god, it's boring []
[speaker008:] A mate of vibration [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Yeah, we should go down to er the chippy
[speaker008:] Hold on
[Richard:] get some chips, no I can't be sodded actu I don't like going down there, you get loads of dickheads
[speaker008:] F M synthesis
[Richard:] What's that when it's at home?
[speaker008:] F M synthesis, synthesis is erm using sign language
[Richard:] Really, oh god, no, oh slap my thigh
[speaker008:] Oh dear they've got their facts wrong here
[Richard:] Why?
[speaker008:] [reading] F M synthesis is the basis of diastral synthesis of the nineteen ninety [] of the eighties actually
[Richard:] Hmm
[speaker008:] Ha, ha, ha
[Richard:] well it was a book that was produced a little while ago... you can buy that tape deck off me if you like
[speaker008:] What?
[Richard:] That one
[speaker008:] Why, what are you selling that one for?
[Richard:] Eighty quid
[speaker008:] Eighty quid
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] That's a forty quid profit on how much I paid for it... I think I bought that for forty five quid or forty seven it does the job, it's not a bad little thing, mm, mm
[speaker008:] My one doesn't do the job
[Richard:] Exactly... you've got a why don't you save up for the Sony compact jobs? Down have you been down Parrots and Nash recently?
[speaker008:] Speakers are too small
[Richard:] They've got a lot of money, a lot of savings on at the moment
[speaker008:] They all have these days but no one 's still buying them
[Richard:] on a lot of systems, really now is the time for you to try and go and buy a new system, because you can knock them down immensely... really good bargains... the basic
[speaker008:] get off me
[Richard:] you basically can say look here you sods, give me some money off, because they're desperate for people to buy oh what time is it? What time is it? What time is it?... oh
[speaker008:] I dunno do I?
[Richard:] what has happened to your watch?
[speaker008:] I haven't got it on have I?
[Richard:] We've gotta go in in twelve minutes time to watch L A Law
[speaker008:] Oh no
[Richard:] just for the music, surely for the music, can we get this thing up to L A Law?
[speaker008:] what the Sony?
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] You get the wires to do it, well er
[Richard:] I mean can you plug this, the speaker
[speaker008:] Well not really, no
[Richard:] What do we do
[speaker008:] have you got a headphone socket on the erm
[Richard:] T V, yeah
[speaker008:] Yeah a headphone socket
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] you might be able to do it off that, you won't be able to listen to it at the same time
[Richard:] Oh that's no problem
[speaker008:] and you have to be careful with the master volume, not to set it too high, oh let's have a look... well you can't really do it on this one
[Richard:] Well we can do it downstairs from the main system or something...
[speaker008:] What bring the cassette deck up to the telly you mean?
[Richard:] No do it downstairs
[speaker008:] Take the telly down what you mean take it out of the
[Richard:] Use the main T V...
[speaker008:] Yeah
[Richard:] you've got wires across
[speaker008:] Oh yeah, you'll probably do it from the video actually
[Richard:] Yeah and then
[speaker008:] is it stereo video?
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] Yeah, do it onto the back into the back, certainly
[Richard:] Do you wanna get, shall we go and have a look and see what we can do? We'll take the Walkman this downstairs with the video tape recorder, come on let's go
[speaker008:] You've gotta put the microphone in front of, by the speaker, although it doesn't come out very well
[Richard:] Let's go well we can a little try, [singing] dom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom [] Shandy speak into the Walkman, you say hello... go on growl at it [dog growling] that's it you say hello, go on [dog growling] that's it, good boy
[speaker002:] Richard
[Richard:] What?
[speaker002:] did you use my postcard up?
[Richard:] No, I never touched your postcards, am I supposed to of done?
[speaker002:] I had a little postcard and I can't find it
[Richard:] Right, I'm just going to destroy this, now Andy what do we need to do?
[speaker002:] What do you mean going to destroy it?
[speaker008:] To record it?
[Richard:] Yes...
[speaker002:] What do you mean it, they're not Richard, there, there, that's
[Richard:] no cos we're doing my, taping my, we're doing it onto a tape, music from L A Law, so what do we need to do?
[speaker002:] What are you talking about?
[Richard:] We're taping the music from L A Law onto a tape
[speaker002:] Why?
[Richard:] Because I want the music from L A Law we're not going to, we're
[speaker008:] Is the video recording at the same time?
[Richard:] Well, it'll start probably, yes, nine o'clock, start, does Red Dwarf start at nine o'clock?
[speaker008:] You got headphones on it? Erm is there headphones on it?
[Richard:] Er, ah
[speaker002:] Are you sure you've not had my card Richard? I can't find it anywhere here.
[Richard:] Positive alright Red Dwarf let's look at the T V guide, starts what, what do we need, need to do it? You're the expert, Red Dwarf starts at nine o'clock yeah, so
[speaker008:] You need a long very long pair of wires
[Richard:] Of what type?
[speaker008:] These type...
[Richard:] Er... we should have some of those
[speaker008:] Can't, can't you video L L A Law or
[Richard:] No because that's, we've got a video going in now at nine o'clock, er, a very long pair of wires... erm... so what do I need here?...
[speaker008:] What do you need?
[Richard:] Mm, oh sod it, I'll do it next week, next week's one
[speaker008:] It's easier just to video the thing
[Richard:] Yeah, so I'll video it next week, I'll do it that way, oh there's I've got a terrific headache tomorrow, have I got a temperature?
[speaker002:] No
[Richard:] I have actually ah, just a sec... [singing] we will go away for the day if my []
[speaker003:] ......
[Richard:] pull up er a bean bag up with the record
[speaker008:] That brings back memories there's no knob on that
[Richard:] Right, talk in the microphone while I'll go to the loo
[speaker008:] Why don't you take it in with you?
[Richard:] Oh yeah, right... oh if you get that on the tape I'll kill you
[speaker008:] Get what on that?
[Richard:] You know damn well
[speaker008:] I can't, I can't get through the door, what's that? You have to go and ain't you?
[Richard:] Oh it's a flush talk in that machine
[speaker008:] Why?
[Richard:] Oh, you've got to
[speaker008:] I haven't
[Richard:] Yes you have
[speaker008:] I haven't got to do anything...
[Richard:] anyone got a Polo if one's on offer
[speaker008:] One isn't on offer
[Richard:] Why not? Aargh, it won't close
[speaker008:] How'd you know?
[Richard:] Cos it won't... so are you going to offer me a Polo?
[speaker008:] No...
[Richard:] Why not?
[speaker008:] You've already had some
[Richard:] I only had one... give me a Polo you
[speaker008:] Casualty thing's on tonight
[Richard:] Nine thirty, oh I feel ill... L A Law's on in a minute
[speaker008:] I don't want to watch that
[Richard:] only watching the, the title... I love the title music
[speaker008:] Oh it's American stuff that, I'm gonna play with the balls I think in the pocket
[Richard:] On the shoe table, I love Polos
[speaker008:] Please clean that without
[Richard:] I love Polos... mm, I'll get you a box of forty eight when I'm next down at Macro's
[speaker008:] Forty eight?
[Richard:] They're only one pound, ninety... for forty eight packets, that the equivalent of ten, you only get fifteen packets for that price, or would you like me to get you a box of er Extra Strong Mints?... Would you like the extra strong?
[speaker008:] What are they? Are they
[Richard:] The white ones, the big white ones...
[speaker008:] Alright
[Richard:] cos they're only er two pounds or something or other for forty eight, Wrigley Spearmint Gum about one pound fifty... oh, what's happened to his voice? Been there, been there
[speaker008:] Where is it?
[Richard:] New York
[speaker008:] I've been there and all
[Richard:] gross, New York is a gross city... er well... been to, oh dad uses one of those at work
[speaker008:] Sounds like Frank Bruno doesn't it?
[Richard:] he loves his nose, he's stripped all the information, he's a stripper
[speaker008:] Oh there's a ball in the pocket
[Richard:] so erm, yeah... so I'll get you a
[speaker008:] you want to play snooker upstairs do it?
[Richard:] Hope so yeah
[speaker008:] What time did you start it?
[Richard:] Seven o'clock, seven thirty
[speaker008:] Well that means to me it's about eight o'clock I'll get there [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Ah juicy yeah basically see it's all confidential information, dad
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker008:] He said
[Richard:] he is a very clever man... what?...
[speaker008:] What about gatecrashers?
[Richard:] We're not gonna get any
[speaker008:] How'd you know?
[Richard:] Because we'll have er... people at the door Rugby Club, pay them both a tenner
[speaker008:] Put Stuart at the door, that'll keep him quiet, put a guard
[Richard:] That's the way to do it actually, ring the Rugby Club...
[speaker008:] Aha
[Richard:] it's not Mr Branson it's Mr Branson, oh shit, shoot...
[speaker008:] What's the matter with these things?
[Richard:] he's very good do what?
[speaker008:] He went round Gatwick airport giving to people
[Richard:] Who did?
[speaker008:] Richard Branson
[Richard:] Why?
[speaker008:] I dunno do I?
[Richard:] Did you get one?
[speaker008:] Oh I wasn't there at the time was I?
[Richard:] Oh
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker008:] But you'll do your own...
[Richard:] Well Richard Branson's very, very, very stupid
[speaker008:] I beg your pardon... it's good innit?
[Richard:] Who?
[speaker008:] Me...
[Richard:] He's, he, he offers fantastic prices
[speaker008:] Who does?
[Richard:] Branson dad flies with him regularly...
[speaker008:] Hey
[Richard:] Shh... it does actually happen... that's a seven four seven... er he's a good guy, did you see my dad on T V?
[speaker008:] No
[Richard:] Yeah he was on B B C Two.
[speaker008:] What was it?
[Richard:] A defence thing... but er, yeah dad was on T V
[speaker003:] ...
[Richard:] You shouldn't do this, this is unfair reporting... why can't you realize to leave him alone mate.
[speaker008:] All, all companies are con companies
[Richard:] Get out of my filofax, I put you did last time
[speaker008:] Got Donna's number in You can't even spell her name, I think she's going to be deeply insulted with that, to spell her name wrong...
[speaker003:] ...
[Richard:] I don't see why not...
[speaker008:] Alright, I'll bring, I'll have to bring my Wings of Love one you know
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] play it when you're in a good mood, cos songs like that you
[Richard:] yes... tonight is bad
[speaker008:] I think Daniel should come
[Richard:] I've invited Danny
[speaker008:] You have?
[Richard:] Yes of course
[speaker008:] Well in that case I don't think you should
[Richard:] So you don't want to come then?
[speaker008:] No way
[Richard:] Close that one
[speaker008:] Which one is it?
[Richard:] It's, er, ah Maiden thingy
[speaker008:] What is?
[Richard:] Maiden Voyager
[speaker008:] Flown er?
[Richard:] I've been on that plane, I have been on that plane what?
[speaker008:] You've got about five
[Richard:] yeah you see the desert is a bit, the way, the planes in the desert in America, there's over three in the, sort of billion dollars' worth of planes all brand new, that companies can't afford to buy any more and they're all mane in a sitting desert... oh there we go, aha, aha, there we go
[speaker008:] Ah it's too easy
[Richard:] Oh dad flies Virgin quite often, he likes Virgin
[speaker008:] First time was it?
[Richard:] What?
[speaker008:] It was his first time was it?
[Richard:] Ah ha ha bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom
[speaker008:] And there if I can keep that... keep the memento of that wall going, it'll eventually get
[Richard:] eventually yes
[speaker008:] but I can't, so it won't go...
[Richard:] [whistling] Yes
[speaker008:] suitcases
[Richard:] bom bom bom bom bom... face it, I hate flying
[speaker008:] I don't mind flying, it's the crashing I don't like, haven't done it often
[Richard:] Aargh learning to be ladies, ooh... oh jolly good show... [whistling] I like the music to this... ah, bom bom bom bom bom bom bom
[speaker008:] They put fluorescent material on that stuff you know, so when you wash it the material sticks to the clothes
[Richard:] Yeah, right
[speaker008:] and in the sunlight it'll glue
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] get it whiter than white
[Richard:] yeah alright
[speaker008:] it's true
[Richard:] Yeah I agree, ah look at that doggy... that's three four, forty, forty oh it's turning... oh there we go who me?... Why?... Me? What do you mean?
[speaker008:] That's why, that's why
[Richard:] the Hook, there again the Hook, that's where I'm moving to, Hook... aargh, well that's nice, nice and comfy now oh yeah, right, thirty, thirty, forty
[speaker008:] Oh yeah, go on
[Richard:] right you ready? L A Law music coming up, hey look at this, this is weird, oh look, look, look at this... weird... shh, this is it, shh, do not play... oh dear...
[speaker003:] ...
[Richard:] Shh... yeah... she's guilty, she's a woman... right here we go, shh, gotta get the sound up, urgh... it's beautiful... [humming] this is what I'm gonna do in ten years time it's brilliant [whistling] [humming] You have to admit that is brilliant, Steve has done some fabulous series in his time, but of course, but he's, he's pretty damn good, there's no doubt about it [humming] so er, it's not bad at all, I like it. yeah, we could for Daniel, [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Pass
[Richard:] No if I had a video camera do you think anyone would dare to do that?
[speaker008:] No, no my God if I have my way, no one will have theirs
[Richard:] don't you dare
[speaker008:] What's that kid that a big geezer last time
[Richard:] Like, like who?
[speaker008:] Dunno
[Richard:] Who with?
[speaker008:] ow, you're fingering my balls
[Richard:] Gorbachov, not him the other one him
[speaker008:] No [LAUGHTER] no
[Richard:] a gospel singer
[speaker008:] Three for one
[Richard:] ooh, that was close, [singing] too close for comfort []...
[speaker008:] Oh that perfect position, my snooker's not that bad as well
[Richard:] Oh good shot... yes
[speaker008:] Ah? What?
[Richard:] What you shut them for?
[speaker008:] Cos you can't do that
[Richard:] Cor, why? Now think of something to do
[speaker008:] Think of something
[Richard:] What would you like to do?
[speaker008:] Apart from the obvious, not with you of course, but [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Ah, afraid there's no answer to that, er...
[speaker008:] bom bom bom bom
[Richard:] there's no answer to that is there? [mimicking] Repeatedly, always quite remarkable [] oh well this is so boring... atone, ah, you can take that down with drugs
[speaker008:] Who?
[Richard:] you boil the skin of cane toads and smoke it, it, it's the equivalent of cannabis
[speaker008:] Heard about that, who actually goes and boils toads?
[Richard:] No, from... exactly... yep... what about the this is basically what I'm gonna be doing
[speaker008:] What?
[Richard:] I'm gonna be a top London lawyer
[speaker008:] No, them big poofy wigs don't they?
[Richard:] Earning a lot of money
[speaker008:] Oh all those kids are sort of young
[Richard:] they are young
[speaker008:] America's got really artificial aren't they?
[Richard:] Oh God
[speaker003:] ...
[Richard:] go on get that one down, get the blue down she's a dirty little slag... be easier recently
[speaker008:] Yeah
[Richard:] I knew you wouldn't use it very much
[speaker008:] I said yeah
[Richard:] Oh, what's the matter?
[speaker008:] My eyes are hurting
[Richard:] Why? do you wanna open the window and get some fresh air
[speaker008:] I know I'm breathing Richard it's
[Richard:] why they hurt? What do you mean they're aching, are they aching or sharp pains or dull pains? Are you gonna pass out or what?
[speaker008:] Go to sleep I think
[Richard:] Yeah, same here actually...
[speaker008:] aargh [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Go on see if you can get them
[speaker008:] I dunno how you do this though, how'd you get the ball to jump?
[Richard:] You make the ball jump and I'll break your face
[speaker008:] I think I'll break yours first
[Richard:] Oh good shot
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] I wasn't actually, I was going
[Richard:] oh try and get it between the
[speaker008:] if it's worth trying to hit anything [LAUGHTER]... I was on top of him
[Richard:] Good shot
[speaker008:] it weren't the right one... you don't watch this rubbish do you?
[Richard:] No, let's watch the news, see if John Cole's on his glasses are awful aren't they?
[speaker008:] I think they're the wrong size actually, I think they're a size too big
[Richard:] Yeah, I think they're about four sizes too big actually... [whistling]
[speaker008:] Ah
[Richard:] Yes
[speaker008:] what's the news? Everything is higher and about the worse in prediction, do you remember last time you got
[speaker003:] ...
[Richard:] That's not bad... good the Welsh get taxed the hardest, I hate the Welsh
[speaker008:] they might not like you either
[Richard:] down with the Welsh, down with the Welsh, down [singing with welsh accent] oh coming were the []
[speaker008:] Oh I like your pack
[Richard:] What pack's that?
[speaker008:] wonder
[Richard:] er, I've got Brian Cord, I can't stand him, I hate oh crap down very handy, yes I have to admit I do feel like my
[speaker008:] done that in biology
[Richard:] Is that? Yeah I know [LAUGHTER] yes
[speaker008:] cub like that with a stick, I know a job about that... a blind man coming, a blind man was walking down the pavement with a stick, so on the side of the pavement there's this dog turd
[Richard:] Oh we did this in R E, do you remember?
[speaker008:] Yeah, and he, he's blind, he can't see and he walks round it, and he goes I bet he drinks Carling Black Label gets up and walks off
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] I bet the turd does as well
[Richard:] We tried to do that in R E, do you remember?
[speaker008:] Yeah
[Richard:] and it was useless
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] yeah
[speaker008:] tangle with it
[Richard:] it was so crap
[speaker008:] It was weren't it?
[Richard:] It was crap, oh the Conservatives are a better breed of men
[speaker008:] Yeah, Neil Kinnock I suppose had, got a lot done hadn't he?
[Richard:] Well yeah, they're a better breed of men... yeah, exactly oh yo ee, bonnie Scot, bastard...
[speaker008:] [whistling]
[Richard:] Urgh
[speaker008:] leave it alone...
[Richard:] How much longer is there on that tape? Andy
[speaker008:] Sorry?
[Richard:] how much is left on that er tape?
[speaker008:] Not much.
[Richard:] In your opinion, oh look at that beautiful shot...
[speaker008:] Has the pause button fallen off here or something?
[Richard:] Why?
[speaker008:] The pause button seems to be
[Richard:] there isn't a pause button
[speaker003:] ...
[Richard:] Oh... Ministry of Defence
[speaker008:] mm
[Richard:] Quite nice little machine that isn't it?... As they go, it's not bad at all
[speaker008:] Dirty recording
[Richard:] So we can't have much left can we there?... No there's not much at all.
[speaker008:] So talk about this party
[Richard:] The party, well what about the party? What would you like to talk about, about the party?... My God... Christ
[speaker008:] Two weeks
[Richard:] blooming heck, British Airways and K L M
[speaker008:] Why not?
[Richard:] No way
[speaker008:] K L M is a pretty big you know
[Richard:] Seven four seven hundred, seven four seven... mm...
[speaker008:] He's a grumpy old git
[Richard:] He is, dad knows him, he's a grumpy old fart... he's very
[speaker008:] Margaret Thatcher's lover, that's why he's got that job, hmm
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Well it is isn't it? I mean
[Richard:] Now Andy, he gets a nice two hundred and fifty thousand a year, he does do a lot of work for it though
[speaker008:] What a sick interview
[Richard:] Now that is a seven four, seven four hundred
[speaker008:] I've been on one of those
[Richard:] What a four hundred?
[speaker008:] Yeah
[Richard:] Lucky sod, and that is a
[speaker008:] seven four seven
[Richard:] Seven four seven that's a seven
[speaker008:] Five
[Richard:] five seven and that is
[speaker008:] Seven three
[Richard:] Yeah, there's a jumbo in the background, two jumbos... oh... lovely
[speaker008:] Who the driving instructor was shot was he? [LAUGHTER]...
[Richard:] Shit... lovely, he's a pain in the arm... good... don't like him... pain in the arse... oh dear... as ever...
[speaker008:] Oh yeah
[Richard:] Oh this' ll go down well... [yawn] dad's going back to Russia, Russia did that [whistling]
[speaker008:] what about the French farmers?
[Richard:] Ah
[speaker008:] They not there?
[Richard:] burn our land... no they're not... land is the pit, he won't be brought about... stupid... yeah, you jolly will as well, as Red Dwarf, see if you like it
[speaker008:] What about it?
[Richard:] It's on
[speaker008:] Sorry?
[Richard:] Do you wanna watch it?
[speaker008:] Not particularly, if you wanna watch it, I don't mind
[Richard:] I'm not bothered
[speaker008:] Alright
[Richard:] So about the party... right, what were we talking about? Oh God
[speaker008:] The party, what's gonna happen? Have we got an agenda of events like
[Richard:] seven o'clock Donna arrives, seven thirty she's drunk, eight o'clock she's up here, eight fifteen she's with me twice, eight seven
[speaker008:] You gonna play snooker are you?
[Richard:] eight forty five she cues you up
[speaker008:] I don't trust you with that ball, hmm
[Richard:] or you er, quarter to eleven Stuart has a go... yes, that sounds fun
[speaker008:] Half past ten I come [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Yes
[speaker008:] eleven o'clock we all go home
[Richard:] Good idea
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker008:] So it's next Saturday then?
[Richard:] No, it's not... it won't be next Saturday, it'll be Saturday after next Saturday
[speaker008:] So it's not Saturday, like in two days' time?
[Richard:] No
[speaker008:] Not, the next one, but the next one after that
[Richard:] Next one after that
[speaker008:] It's two weeks
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] Oh
[Richard:] it's only two weeks Andy, but it goes quite quickly
[speaker008:] It won't go quick enough, but
[Richard:] so
[speaker008:] ah ah ah
[Richard:] I wish you'd stop that poor dog
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] he's gonna get very objectionable
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker008:] How these people gonna get to this party?
[Richard:] Just turn up on their own, or get, come by car or something
[speaker008:] I can imagine an early busload arriving [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] we've got a busload here sir, they'll probably turn up in a cab and ask you to pay for it [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Bloody well won't... I'm sure they'll succeed... oh we've still got Friday tomorrow haven't we?
[speaker008:] I let you start a bit early
[Richard:] I'd like it earlier, but I'm not going to... does it look a helicopter?
[speaker008:] Yeah a
[speaker003:] ...
[Richard:] Oh... it's blown off, ah... yes, you beauty
[speaker008:] You didn't know that?
[Richard:] No aha... yeah... aha, beauty... oh it's Casualty next, ah... [singing] da, da, da, da, da... da, da, da []... yeah... [whistling], they have to call it is that what they started to call it? yeah
[speaker008:] Oh
[Richard:] Hmm
[speaker008:] oh... hmm
[Richard:] cor dear... good evening yeah... I'm glad to hear, oh John bloody Prescott, fat git... oh sod that, yuck, puke, oh wobbles
[speaker008:] Oh it's all... mm
[Richard:] all wobbly... oh dear
[speaker008:] Oh... yeah
[Richard:] not bad... there is your, suddenly it must be nine thirty... is the back on?
[speaker008:] Mm
[Richard:] Back on? Let's go and have a look at the, in case anybody over the road's after it...
[speaker003:] ...
[Richard:] What
[speaker008:] How long have you got that tape recorder for?
[Richard:] Until tomorrow night, why?
[speaker008:] Oh it's tape, you have it, conceal in your pocket and have the microphone tucked in your shirt pocket innit?
[Richard:] Right
[speaker008:] That's what tape Stuart
[Richard:] Oh that's a possibility yeah, try that, oh I've got a headache, I feel really sick actually... I have to admit, oh dear
[speaker008:] Is that recording?
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] Make a lot of noise
[Richard:] Yeah it is, it's a terribly loud recorder, [singing] you never close your eyes any more []
[speaker008:] Wave out the window
[Richard:] [singing] when you kiss your lips, there's no tenderness in the way, with your finger tips []
[speaker008:] Those buttons are funny aren't they?
[Richard:] Just wonder what the hell he's playing at
[speaker008:] He's kerb crawling isn't he?
[Richard:] What's he playing at?...
[speaker008:] He's trying his brakes out, oh, actually sounds quite good in this corner, what is, it's quite intermittent in this corner
[Richard:] Oh alright
[speaker008:] get the sound affects up here really quickly
[Richard:] [singing] Your jolly hard to show it [] he's not
[speaker008:] that would amuse every one wouldn't it?
[Richard:] No I don't think so to be perfectly honest
[speaker008:] I think he, he should be there
[Richard:] I don't know he'll be
[speaker008:] probably not invite him, I think he'll
[Richard:] Exactly
[speaker008:] Truth is he'll bring all the booze the other time didn't he?
[Richard:] Oh he only brings a little bit, I brought loads last time, even though you didn't get a song played
[speaker008:] Didn't I?
[Richard:] Oh shoot, oh damn
[speaker008:] You've broken it
[Richard:] That's it, me go and break mum's crystal thing, no, er
[speaker008:] The Crystal Maze
[Richard:] din, din, that was on tonight
[speaker008:] I know
[Richard:] What time do you get back in tonight?
[speaker008:] About six
[Richard:] Oh God I've been waiting, I was told to ring about seven, cos you wouldn't be in till then [whistling]
[speaker008:] ring Sandra or not [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Was she there tonight?
[speaker008:] No, it's alright I can get her some time again
[Richard:] I didn't think she would be
[speaker008:] She's been away for the last week or so
[Richard:] Keep away from you
[speaker008:] I'm not surprised
[Richard:] she doesn't trust you, oh God, done it again
[speaker008:] I think I'm more at risk than she is...
[Richard:] Oh what from?...
[speaker008:] Hmm speed at the window, yeah
[Richard:] You've got a sore throat haven't you? Oh I feel ill, oh dear oh dear, I'm beginning, I'm just beginning, hello who is that? Who's that going out there? Who's that then? Who's that then maths?
[speaker008:] German teacher, have you got any German homework?
[Richard:] Who is it? Who is it? Who is it? Who is it? And who is it?
[speaker008:] I don't know do I?
[Richard:] Something, done a robbery... at nine thirty two precisely, a lady did er actually walk out of next door's house
[speaker008:] Your honour
[Richard:] your honour, carrying one large bag, looking very guilty and shady
[speaker008:] Probably cos I couldn't see her
[Richard:] Ha, ha, ha, so
[speaker008:] er she happened to wear a sort of a striped top or something isn't she?
[Richard:] A swag bag, swag bag [yawn] er, er, er, er, er, er
[speaker008:] I bet Stuart turns up in his leather jacket
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] He'll probably put like studs on it, you know
[Richard:] Yeah he will
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] What, you wanna turn up looking smart
[speaker008:] Smart?
[Richard:] than looking cas
[speaker008:] What's wrong with that?
[Richard:] Nothing
[speaker008:] That's alright, I'll turn up like this then
[Richard:] Smart and cas, cos you've got a small body for, haven't you? You're only a two foot imp, cos er unlike me as a man being six foot
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] and looking like a man
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] and being like a man
[speaker008:] I think being's not the word I use for that
[Richard:] so erm
[speaker008:] a funny shape
[Richard:] you've commented on that every sodding time you've
[speaker008:] No I haven't
[Richard:] You have
[speaker008:] No I haven't, no I haven't, do you know this voice has got very low lately
[Richard:] Low?
[speaker008:] Yeah in the it's of
[Richard:] You think it's actually breaking?
[speaker008:] Just sounds more like, get out, get off, now your highness, get off
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] get off, reckon his voice'd break?
[Richard:] No
[speaker008:] I, I just reckon his vocal cords will slow down, competition of the high pitch vibrations, you know hello punters
[Richard:] I know
[speaker008:] I'm strangely drawn to Stuart
[Richard:] You are aren't you?
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] You are, we've noticed that and we're getting worried
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Anyone who's drawn to Stuart they must be strange [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] It is, yeah I have to admit we're a bit worried about you Andy
[speaker008:] Yeah
[Richard:] you open yourself to comments from now, you've got yourself a name, er
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] from 's sodding fault
[speaker008:] Oh yeah
[Richard:] he reckons he held it around, he's a real pain in the arse at times
[speaker008:] You seen the way he does it, he just sits there
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] yeah, right, I mean you should let him come I mean he'll sit in the corner, you, you know, he'll take the Mick out of you, you can guarantee it, I mean he's
[Richard:] Yeah, he does
[speaker008:] Well it's my job usually
[Richard:] Exactly, I don't, I don't know whether I'll invite
[speaker008:] Don't, don't have then
[Richard:] No I don't think I will... because he will sit there sort of, might, when he rang up once, right, my mum said I think there's a poofter on the phone [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] So how would you know?
[Richard:] God knows
[speaker008:] Said, I think he's just farted, why do you know that? I can smell semen
[Richard:] Oh, please, can we erase that joke?
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Well you should have it on record should you?
[Richard:] You prat
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Please ignore that joke it was a very rude joke
[speaker008:] Oh it's quite good actually
[Richard:] Oh God Andy, you moron
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] prat
[speaker008:] I must try that one tomorrow
[Richard:] I'll have to go and wipe that now
[speaker008:] Ooh er
[Richard:] I'll have to go and wipe it exactly, you prat, you are a chief moron, how do you do that? [singing] to make it []
[speaker008:] So what do you think Donna will wear?
[Richard:] Nothing if I had my way [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] What, you want something to sort of take off don't you?
[Richard:] A negligee [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Me and Ron here don't like negligence
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] no we don't like fe any form of underwear
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] we don't like scandals either, no we don't like casual
[Richard:] that's quite good oh when you going? I need my shower, tut, and my hair's gonna
[speaker008:] I [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] stick
[speaker008:] I beg your pardon?
[Richard:] When I wake up tomorrow morning my hair will be in a mess, I'll have to wash it again, in the morning
[speaker008:] Why not just do it in the morning?
[Richard:] Because, I suppose I could do that, no
[speaker008:] I think of that, you wouldn't catch me doing that in the morning
[Richard:] Exactly
[speaker008:] washing I mean, washing my hair that is
[Richard:] Yes
[speaker008:] I have trouble to get out of bed, let alone anything like that
[Richard:] yeah, imagine what, hey do you, do you reckon I should ask her if she wants to stay at Steven
[speaker008:] I'm sure, I, I, I, I've a fatal inkling that she might decline, but there's no harm in trying, but she might get the wrong idea about it, you know
[Richard:] Oh no
[speaker008:] she might think that, you know, she's the only one who's gonna turn up and
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Well anyway Sarah and that lot can sleep downstairs, we'll all come down during the night [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Wake and we'll wake up find that we've got no respect
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Never had anything else [LAUGHTER] love it
[speaker008:] Eh, oh, ow
[Richard:] Could walk to the door frame, well done [yawning] oh God, it will be a good laugh, it will be []
[speaker008:] [humming]
[Richard:] Oh maybe I'll pick you up at ten o'clock
[speaker008:] [humming]
[Richard:] [singing] they might be picking you up, at ten o'clock []
[speaker008:] My Rolf Harris impression [mimicking] []
[Richard:] Yeah... [singing] come where the jocks are strapping, come where the feet are clapping me... come where the hands are clapping, come where the feet are strapping, come where the jocks are strapping [] oh yeah I think I'll ask
[speaker008:] So this party is definitely gonna go ahead?
[Richard:] Yeah, I hope so, I get permission from dad
[speaker008:] I have to write it in my important portfolio
[Richard:] Oh yeah you're absolutely booked up, I have to, I'm sorry I forgot you have such a taxing social life with Stuart... yeah definitely, er... people listening to this could get the wrong idea I think... but this is, this is normal conversation
[speaker008:] No, no this is a normal conversation
[Richard:] It is normal totally normal
[speaker008:] a pervert and me
[Richard:] Yeah, oh thank you
[speaker008:] That's alright, that's what I'm here for
[Richard:] This, this is totally normal conversation, I've never got this done if Wendy had turned up, I'm glad, cos we've now got, a tape and a bit done tonight
[speaker008:] Oh wow
[Richard:] which is brilliant... din, din, din, we should give it to Phil for his dad
[speaker008:] Praise, and praise a lot, I bet, I bet his erm, his erm Sunday seminar thing, yeah they're not, erm
[Richard:] Seminar [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] What you call them?
[Richard:] Service
[speaker008:] Congregation, congregation, it's not sort of all sort of these people sat there a disco or something don't they?
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] Hey, yeah, groovy, [LAUGHTER] the purple lights are flashing
[Richard:] Get to the beat, yeah
[speaker008:] Get to the beat of the bible [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Aha, here comes a car, there goes a car, vroom, Renault... [singing] da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da [] have you said to your dad get Sky yet?
[speaker008:] Oh I about that, mm... the thing is they're gonna put, they're gonna put, from the Sky to the televisions they're gonna put a satellite dish on the roof
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] how embarrassing [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] So
[speaker008:] how embarrassing
[Richard:] True... get loads of new programmes
[speaker008:] Oh yeah, like what?
[Richard:] Rolf Harris
[speaker008:] Oh great [mimicking] Rolf Harris []
[Richard:] Worth the extra worth the extra sort of four hundred pounds isn't it? Out the
[speaker008:] Oh Rolf Harris for two days, the kiddies' channel
[Richard:] [yawning] Oh you, I'm tired []
[speaker008:] May as well have the morning chat show with Frank Bough
[Richard:] Oh yes, because he got chucked off er B B C T V, some morning he used to do it with Selina Scott
[speaker008:] And he has the, the er Frank Bough health joke presented with Frank cough
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] oh yes
[speaker008:] Er the er, the insult show, presented by Frank off
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] reach the climax very well did it?...
[Richard:] Where is your phones? I suppose it's getting more than one tape done now
[speaker008:] There's one, there's one, there's one
[Richard:] Do they argue?
[speaker008:] Leave it on when you're in bed and see what noises you make [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Sneeze and snore probably
[speaker008:] Probably going hmm hmm
[Richard:] I do a lot of sleeptalking actually
[speaker008:] Eh?
[Richard:] Yeah, I sleeptalk a lot... a lot, a lot
[speaker008:] Who do you talk to?
[Richard:] I just talk to myself and I talk out, in aloud and what every
[speaker008:] Sort of go, the economy, the economy
[Richard:] Yeah that's right
[speaker008:] and nightmares about the economy actually getting better
[Richard:] Ha ha ha, you are a socialist scum
[speaker008:] I know [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] You scum of the earth... [singing] de, de, de, de, de, de, de, de [] you should only have that attitude if you come from a deprived childhood
[speaker008:] I am deprived
[Richard:] and you, if you have parents who
[speaker008:] I'm deprived of
[Richard:] Yeah I can guess, Stuart oh God Andy
[speaker008:] What?
[Richard:] I think there's a name for you
[speaker008:] Eh?
[Richard:] I think there's a name for you
[speaker008:] What?
[Richard:] Freddy Mercury
[speaker008:] [singing] I want to break me []
[Richard:] Yes, right, you, you sound like erm Michael Jackson... [LAUGHTER] you even smell like Michael Jackson
[speaker008:] Put me in the fire, you know
[Richard:] Melt yeah
[speaker008:] Melt, even near a radiator
[Richard:] He sort of catches fire, yeah, self combustion, I think you must of said ten o'clock... did you say ten o'clock?
[speaker008:] Oh I got a C D with erm Love and Kisses on it
[Richard:] [singing] Love and kisses []
[speaker008:] just thought you know, Stuart might be on the T V
[Richard:] [whistling]
[speaker008:] if we'd done it, for the rest of us we've got people like Donna to watch and so, be like serving Donna up and if you look like Danii Minogue on the television for Stuart
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] you can do that
[Richard:] I'd be chatting to
[speaker008:] have you got
[Richard:] Helen and Jenny all night
[speaker008:] have you got any Danii Minogue posters?
[Richard:] No
[speaker008:] Oh
[Richard:] To think they have to be talking to me because I'm the host of the party, so I've got to go around and talk to everybody
[speaker008:] Oh yeah, yes, you get, what, lots to happen, everyone goes in and it's like a ring around the room, [LAUGHTER] you know [] hmm
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] there's sort of get backs against the wall you know, here comes Stuart [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] and I basically go round the bottles filling up
[speaker008:] Filling the bottles up I presume
[Richard:] Yeah and I get, I get
[speaker008:] Oh God as long I, as long that's all
[Richard:] that's right, yep, oh I think that'll be very good for, aha
[speaker008:] [singing] bah, bah, bah, bah, bam []
[Richard:] No, that's not you
[speaker008:] them Norwegians
[Richard:] who?
[speaker008:] Aha
[Richard:] [yawning] They're not actually []
[speaker008:] Where they from then?
[Richard:] [yawning] Scotland Upon Thyme []
[speaker008:] [mimicking scottish accent] Scotland nee []
[Richard:] No, they are, how you doing with your geography coursework?
[speaker008:] I've done the second lesson of it
[Richard:] Oh, I've done
[speaker008:] I've done the second question
[Richard:] The second question?
[speaker008:] Mm
[Richard:] Christ you're taking your time
[speaker008:] Yes
[Richard:] I've done the first
[speaker008:] diagram, graphic enhancement
[Richard:] Oh mine are graphic enhanced as well
[speaker008:] which is equal main, you know, well for me they are
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] these bar graphs are like three D you know
[Richard:] Oh it's good if you can do the three D, it looks
[speaker008:] It's a waste of time and effort innit?
[Richard:] No, it's nice cos it's a lot for presentation as well
[speaker008:] I know, but the thing is you can tart it up afterwards
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] if you've got time
[Richard:] Exactly, that's what I'm doing, I'm doing it that way, I'm doing the basics, which will get the marks and I'm doing, going back and adding extra little sods when I've finished it... [belch] oh God
[speaker008:] People are walking out here, I don't know why
[Richard:] No neither do I, just trying to wear holes in the carpet or something are we?
[speaker008:] Er, keeping my legs in practice
[Richard:] Oh right, two weekends' time, so I'll talk
[speaker008:] I can't wait
[Richard:] so I'll be sitting talking to Donna, cos Donna, Helen and Jenny be sitting in one group with Sarah, they'll be chatting away and I'll be sitting in the middle, sitting on
[speaker008:] that is what's gonna happen, that little lot, posy little girlies are gonna together little girly chat aren't they?
[Richard:] Sitting on, on
[speaker008:] Yeah they've got something in common if they sort of, they say, what they say?
[Richard:] Oh drat [LAUGHTER] yeah [] no
[speaker008:] Quick snigger and look at somebody and look away and go
[Richard:] Exactly, yeah you've got it right [LAUGHTER] yeah that'll probably, that's, that will happen, I wouldn't be surprised [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Aren't you gonna be, with two people there, you could have a ring round the room though could you?
[Richard:] Yeah we're gonna have about twenty five people there I think, twenty five's enough... what we gonna do about sitting down what cos there's not enough seats
[speaker008:] sit on each other, I'm sure we could find space
[Richard:] Move the dining room table out and stuff
[speaker008:] That'll be popular, that, I mean she's gonna be so popular ain't it? [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Yeah, too damn right
[speaker008:] Hey who does like?
[Richard:] Er Sarah
[speaker008:] Does he?
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] Hmm
[Richard:] not half, I think everybody likes Sarah actually... she's predicted all As do you know that?
[speaker008:] Who?
[Richard:] Sarah
[speaker008:] So
[Richard:] She's very intelligent, very good
[speaker008:] How do you know?
[Richard:] I think it must be all Sarahs or what else or something, all Sarahs are registered as very intelligent
[speaker008:] Oh she ain't actually got all As then?
[Richard:] because she's got all predicted As
[speaker008:] How do you know?
[Richard:] Because I saw her predicted grade card
[speaker008:] Did you saw mine, but
[Richard:] Yeah, predicted grade card I'm talking about... oh... where is, did you say ten o'clock?
[speaker008:] Don't know what it is, well the thing is she's gone
[Richard:] Well
[speaker008:] my mum has gone to photography or something
[Richard:] Photography?
[speaker008:] Yeah
[Richard:] Was
[speaker008:] no, not like that
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] Oh don't [], oh shut up, I mean
[speaker008:] No
[Richard:] why, what she gone to er photography lessons or something?
[speaker008:] Mm
[Richard:] Ah
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] He thinks
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] What camera she using?
[speaker008:] I dunno, some poshy thing
[Richard:] Is it hers or?
[speaker008:] Yeah
[Richard:] Oh, do you go and buy it or something or what?
[speaker008:] Yeah, she didn't
[Richard:] Oh very nice
[speaker008:] Gone, got all little things that stick up the end you know
[Richard:] Very nice
[speaker008:] telephoto job you know
[Richard:] Very nice, yeah we've got that on dad's, aha there's a car... is your dad home tonight?
[speaker008:] Er, yeah
[Richard:] Ah, oh, oh there's a change, [yawning] you're lucky, he used to be home talking to Sue [] oh excuse me... [singing] you wanna break free []
[speaker008:] black and a little pink cardigan
[Richard:] Oh shut up, don't, please
[speaker008:] What's wrong with that?
[Richard:] I need to go [LAUGHTER] I've gotta see her
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Well [] if I keep you away from going into the shower, it'd be like extended foreplay won't it? [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Very funny Andy, very funny, yeah...
[speaker008:] Mm
[Richard:] yeah I, not so, yeah well I suppose so, it'll be nice though, it should be a good laugh... being how people in the back garden talking and the lights in the back garden
[speaker008:] She's gonna be February possibly March
[Richard:] Probably March
[speaker008:] and if
[Richard:] get them my key up getting my key up with heaters, getting my key up with heaters we can have it at your place if your parents go
[speaker008:] Oh yeah, right, oh yeah where we gonna put like three hundred people?
[Richard:] Squeeze them in... sure we'll find somewhere for them to go, vacate, so long as I get a kiss from everybody apart from the boys and kiss from all the other oh, er, I'm ecstatic really
[speaker008:] Kiss from Stuart
[Richard:] No that'll be no it's better than alcoholic innit? Oh right but, well I'll have to have a word with Donna tomorrow and see what she thinks, hard luck
[speaker008:] You mean you've arranged all this? Yeah I think it at my place actually
[Richard:] Yeah I might do eventually, I'm not going to bother to do it tonight, I'll pop off early
[speaker008:] I could wordprocess it for you
[Richard:] Well go on then you get the stand
[speaker008:] Eh?
[Richard:] you take the stand tomorrow, tonight
[speaker008:] Take the stand, I'll wordprocess it for you
[Richard:] good idea
[speaker008:] Now what comics can I bring round?
[Richard:] Don't bring any comics, I'll show Donna that one piece of
[speaker008:] What one?
[Richard:] don't put the comics, put the surname as well go and get it from my room, take the information out of the little envelope... you must of said ten o'clock to your parents, cos there ain't no sign of them, is there?... [whistling] Have you got it? Did you take the information out of it?
[speaker008:] Where's the lights?
[Richard:] There
[speaker008:] Er, no
[Richard:] oh Christ, dazzle me... sometimes I forget
[speaker008:] That's a bright light innit?
[Richard:] It is innit, turn it off again
[speaker008:] Aren't you gonna read it?
[Richard:] You've got it all...
[speaker008:] Right
[Richard:] There you go...
[speaker008:] now what can I say about, is Kate going?...
[Richard:] What?
[speaker008:] Is Kate going?
[Richard:] Katie, yes
[speaker008:] Oh my gawld, I can't, I can't read it
[Richard:] You know all the people there
[speaker008:] I can write, you know you've given them middle names, you know, that suitable middle names
[Richard:] Donna very attractive
[speaker008:] I've the whole page up
[Richard:] Yes
[speaker008:] Helen
[Richard:] Yeah, oh, [howling]
[speaker008:] Toni, we'll put like lots of dots and say no comment [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Yes
[speaker008:] poor, maybe worth one, one day
[Richard:] Mm
[speaker008:] kind of weird isn't he? Stuart
[Richard:] Urgh [LAUGHTER] that's a comment and a half []
[speaker008:] I think another page for him there
[Richard:] Yes...
[speaker008:] What's that say?
[Richard:] There comes so motor bikers
[speaker008:] Daniel, what's that say? Don, Dan
[Richard:] Dan
[speaker008:] Alright okay...
[Richard:] erm
[speaker008:] oh Miss calls him Danny now
[Richard:] Danny
[speaker008:] Dan, Dan
[Richard:] Oh
[speaker008:] Danny the bighead in the world
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Danny stop us now, Danny
[speaker008:] the fondler, [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Yes... yes I was thinking about your fritters this morning
[speaker008:] Fridged ferret
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Helen is she coming?
[Richard:] Yeah, oh hold on
[speaker008:] I get on alright with her
[Richard:] What?
[speaker008:] Do they get on alright with her?
[Richard:] Yeah they get on alright with her
[speaker008:] I think, everyone gets on alright with her actually
[Richard:] I don't
[speaker008:] Phillip, oh well yes, Phillip [LAUGHTER] yeah []
[Richard:] Put that down, I see, I show dad the list and see what he thinks
[speaker008:] Yeah, but if you just know any of the people, I mean
[Richard:] Yeah, exactly, it's just number-wise he's worrying about
[speaker008:] Mm
[Richard:] Twenty, twenty five isn't er
[speaker008:] We can't read half of these, I mean, why is it Donna's at the top of the list?
[Richard:] She's not, Kate is
[speaker008:] Oh I mean, I think you put her on first actually
[Richard:] Yeah I did, oh I'll put Kerry on later
[speaker008:] She's alright
[Richard:] because Donna is high in admir admiration in fact I
[speaker008:] Admiration?
[Richard:] I admire
[speaker008:] I think it's called infatuation
[Richard:] infatuation
[speaker008:] oh I can't think of it, I can't think of a without being disgusting or any
[Richard:] Something tasteful, because she's gonna be reading that tomorrow
[speaker008:] Is she?
[Richard:] So will Helen and so will Jenny... I do snazzy formal
[speaker008:] er up, one who's been invited to one's birthday party
[Richard:] Mo, one who's been invited to one's
[speaker008:] I keep imagining she turns up with her mum and [LAUGHTER] she's holding her hand it says, now make sure she doesn't rip her tights [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] No we will
[speaker008:] We won't, no I thought we'd relieve her of them
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah we'll take them off just, take them off now dearie, you won't get them ripped them, yeah too damn right, you must of said ten o'clock, Geoff
[speaker008:] I can't think of enough comments about enough people, I mean what do I say about Phillip? Saint Phillip [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] Yeah saint Phillip, yeah, put him there
[speaker008:] Why do you want this now?
[Richard:] No you take it home
[speaker008:] That's alright
[Richard:] No, never
[speaker008:] you still Jessica and Re Re, Rebecca
[Richard:] Yeah write them down
[speaker008:] Mm, I'm not sure about them... you'll have the headmaster turning up say I recognize everyone here
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] I'm joining in the party
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] he probably would as well wouldn't he []?
[Richard:] Ho ho ho, ah God can you imagine that, Christ, aha here comes a car, there goes a car... we are now in a country lane, looking out on the odd passing car... [singing] bom, bom, bom, bom, bom [] I don't know about Jessica and Rebecca actually
[speaker008:] I don't think so
[Richard:] Right then, cross them out
[speaker008:] Okay
[Richard:] Taken two out... we're always gonna get people who are additionally at school tomorrow who you'll remember suddenly
[speaker008:] Like who?
[Richard:] Oh you'll fi we'll think of somebody
[speaker008:] Christopher jock strap and Jane
[Richard:] Oh get stuffed, no way, no, no way
[speaker008:] Les the lesbian [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] No, get lost
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] Can you image him turning up, he'd follow me round everywhere wouldn't he []?
[Richard:] Yes, he would do
[speaker008:] Did you hear about my sixteen bit distal
[Richard:] unless his
[speaker008:] signified computer [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] unless he's now following you everywhere
[speaker008:] Yeah I know, I think it's the glasses he can actually see me now or something
[Richard:] You think it's a bit worrying?
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] And he's following you
[speaker008:] Yeah I know
[Richard:] I wouldn't be seen dead with him
[speaker008:] Tony, toe nail, Tony the toe nail [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER] yeah [] go on call it a
[speaker008:] got a date for everyone, so I wacko, Jacko, Jackson, hmm
[Richard:] Oh yeah, wacko
[speaker008:] I think that's insulting knowing it, he's, anyone who knows Donald I think I should insult them
[Richard:] So
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] The fairy godmother, Donna the fairy godmother
[Richard:] Er you want to annoy Donna just go like that to her
[speaker008:] Why?
[Richard:] Cos she does it and whenever she talks in drama she goes like that and so I go up and goes cooee, hello Donna, who, who
[speaker008:] A bit like this?
[Richard:] Yeah, that's right
[speaker008:] Billy Connolly, excellent
[Richard:] she stands there going who, who, exactly, got it in one, we've nearly done a second tape tonight now, did you know that? Nearly a second tape
[speaker008:] Somebody's gonna get a surprise when they hear that
[Richard:] Probably
[speaker008:] especially if we take it into German tomorrow
[Richard:] Yeah play it in German on a, on a loud speaker
[speaker008:] Oh great
[Richard:] Yeah so everybody hears, [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Who else we got on here?
[Richard:] Cricket...
[speaker008:] No, [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] [whistling] I'll check with dad before I start telling everybody... to make sure it can go ahead...
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Richard:] Right you got that?
[speaker008:] Okay... Donna knows about it don't she?
[Richard:] Yeah Donna does, but nobody else does, so don't go yelling it tomorrow at school, keep quiet
[speaker008:] Do you think we really should have Stuart?
[Richard:] Yes, he's a mate anyway, so, he'll behave himself in front of all the girls anyway
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] He'll be, he'll be quiet for the first few hours, he won't sort, say anything, then he he will, you know what he's like
[Richard:] Yeah, but everybody else will be happy then, by then, hopefully
[speaker008:] He'll probably go after Helen, hello, you know
[Richard:] If he goes after Helen he'll be out
[speaker008:] So
[Richard:] he is on the streets if he makes a pass on Helen
[speaker008:] Oh well, I think well Phillip did, Phillip you know, you can, you can harm on him, harm, harm on him could you?
[Richard:] I could, can you imagine Phillip making a pass at someone, ah embarrassing
[speaker008:] Hello, would you like me to buy sweets?
[Richard:] Yeah [LAUGHTER] so he'll say []
[speaker008:] Like a suck of one of my sweets
[Richard:] No I don't take sweets from strangers, oh God a vicar
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] he'll come and give everybody prayer books
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] and a sort of a sing-song
[speaker008:] The Gideons bible
[Richard:] That's right, he'll go on the Gideons club, we ought to have a bible meeting
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] all sixteen of us
[speaker008:] I dunno you, like there's twenty of us all completely drunk you know
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] Arthur turns up
[Richard:] the school goes, they go hey, peace man, they all go and they
[speaker008:] They can give us a prayer man
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] they say right
[speaker008:] Oh no, that's what's gonna do it
[Richard:] What?
[speaker008:] Stuart's gonna be quiet all afternoon and all evening until his dad turns up
[Richard:] Yeah
[speaker008:] give us a prayer man
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] Desmond
[Richard:] Oh God, oh yes, it would be a bit of a disaster [sigh]
[speaker008:] Quite definitely
[Richard:] but it would be a good, aha here comes a car, ah
[speaker008:] Andy
[Richard:] I think this is your mum... if it's trundling along at max nought point nought, aha it could be, it could be, it is, it will be, it is
[speaker008:] It is, it is
[Richard:] No
[speaker008:] Yes
[Richard:] No it's not, oh
[speaker008:] Oh
[Richard:] Oh... that's no good... well that's no damn good...
[speaker008:] Hmm, thought that was them
[Richard:] Obviously not, quite remarkable
[speaker008:] Quite remarkable that, oh, are you on there by any chance?
[Richard:] Of course I'm on there
[speaker008:] Oh
[Richard:] my sodding party
[speaker008:] [LAUGHTER] I don't, you actually there, you know []
[Richard:] Yeah it'll be nice because I'll be centre of attention cos everybody'll be wanting to talk to me
[speaker008:] Why?
[Richard:] Cos I'll be, it's my party, so you have to be nice to me, cos it's my party basically, cos I consider it
[speaker008:] Do I have to cover the video camera?
[Richard:] No, don't
[speaker008:] I think I should I mean
[Richard:] No
[speaker008:] that would definitely make it more interesting, if it, a talking point for everyone won't it?
[Richard:] I don't think it'll work
[speaker008:] Cos people play up to them and do things if perhaps they might not, wouldn't, you know, but would want to do it, but
[Richard:] Yeah and then Helen and Jenny will be shy as hell, aha
[speaker008:] [humming]
[Richard:] [humming]
[speaker008:] That song's written nineteen eighty four and released in November nineteen eighty five.
[Richard:] There we go.