[Alice:] When I said... that spike went up his trouser leg and shouted and [shouting] up and at them []!
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Alice:] Ee I've
[Linda:] Well
[Alice:] got, I've got a market research to fill in there.
[Dave:] Right. Come in with my little white.
[Alice:] Don't come in this door! Come in the next door.
[Dave:] Turn it off!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Alice:] Tu turn it off? Why? Are you frightened you will er... swear?
[Dave:] shit.
[Alice:] Did I get you? Eh?
[Dave:] Normally I wouldn't.
[Ivy:] Are you gonna?
[Linda:] Oh he is!
[Ivy:] It's dreadful rain!
[Brian:] Ah? What's wrong?
[Ivy:] I even got you did I?
[Brian:] ... I ain't saying it again!... Is my dinner?
[Alice:] Er well it's it's in the oven!
[Brian:] Well you don't wanna... you start.
[Ivy:] Go in and get it.
[Brian:] Everything I say!
[Alice:] Heard yo me calling you.
[Brian:] No.
[Alice:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] There's still some flames coming out you know. Yeah. Yes there is. It don't does it? It's gonna get worser. That's... that's either gonna get worser or it's gonna die down but I think it's gonna get worser. Why does she keep that fire engine? There is int there? Mm. She was right about that... summat in her life.... Don't matter... does it? Look at that little dog. Look at them bushes. Mm,. She's like an old washer women, [mimicking fast speaker] []! Then we'll go with little doggy. Yeah, I think, well that could be a doggy there. Mm. Aye. Could be a dog. I didn't know she had a dog, I thought it was a kit cat she had. No, a wee baby... Andrew calls it a rat dog! A what? A rat dog. Ah! That's cruel! Mm.... Ooh now it's a. [LAUGHTER] Ooh! Yeah []! It's cold int it? Mhm. There he is again... Mrs.... Ooh! Get some insurance.... It's very dramatic isn't it? Very. You're not quite sure about these old. Ah! What? I thought of something. 's coming down.... Them people have already had an earbashing! Has David gone? I don't know where's he gone, he just disappeared?... Yeah it's going down. It isn't. Mm mm.... Oh! They hate it when they've lost their dog. There's a little dog, look! Oh that's a cat! [LAUGHTER] Seriously, is that the cat? Yeah, that Look! I mean they're running.
[Linda:] It doesn't matter if she got a fag out or not but it still could easily go onto the carpet
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Linda:] couldn't it?
[speaker002:] What? What?
[Dave:] [shouting] They're on the way squire []!
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[Linda:] They're not are they dad?
[Dave:] No.
[speaker002:] Not with... not with
[Linda:] Especially, now no one them.
[Alice:] That's why you've gotta go smokeless for.
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Alice:] And they're not changing theirs then.
[Dave:] And you get twice as much bloody soot!
[Linda:] You never do?
[Dave:] You do.
[Linda:] Oh crikey!
[speaker002:] What?
[Ivy:] Look at the flames!
[Tracey:] Can you see the flames?
[Linda:] That's either getting worser or better int it?
[Tracey:] Mrs and now she'll just have a burn out....
[Linda:] She couldn't coming to me.
[Ivy:] She never does.
[Linda:] Disgusting! Shut up yourself!
[Tracey:] I'm trying to watch this! Shut up!
[Linda:] No, I can't do your homework! You could do my homework please!
[Tracey:] !
[Linda:] You know when you shouted earlier when we were changing the room round? Soon as you said you can't do it... he were gone for dust! [LAUGHTER] He... flew upstairs []!
[Ivy:] ?
[Linda:] Mrs.
[Ivy:] Is it?
[Linda:] Oh I know them. Erm, thingy's chimney's on fire they said.
[speaker002:] Is it?
[Linda:] She said... looks like it's on fire.... Look! Everybody goes running! Ha ha!... Is it?
[Tracey:] There's all sparks coming out of it! And flames!... Can you see? Come here Kimmy!
[Linda:] Kimmy come here! It doesn't matter if she'd got a fire guard or not, but it still could easily get onto the
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Linda:] carpet couldn't it?
[Tracey:] What? What?
[Dave:] [shouting] They're on their way squire []!
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[Linda:] They're not safe these houses are they dad?
[Dave:] No.
[Ivy:] Not with, not with that
[Tracey:] Especially now no one has looked at them.
[Ivy:] That's why you've gotta go smokeless for.
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Ivy:] And they're not changing anything.
[Dave:] And you get twice as much bloody soot!
[Linda:] You never do?
[Dave:] You do.
[Linda:] Oh crikey!
[Tracey:] What?
[Ivy:] Look at the flames!
[Linda:] Can you see the flames?
[Tracey:] That's either getting worser or better int it?
[Linda:] Mrs and now she's just gonna go burn out!.
[Tracey:] She come through talking to me. [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] There's the doggy look!
[Tracey:] Oh aye! Here's the dog.
[Dave:] All wrapped up with him, it's a wonder she don't.
[Tracey:] Ah!
[Linda:] You know, like da dad yesterday
[Dave:] Mm.
[Linda:] It's only a little whippet.
[Tracey:] Mind you, she were close to that big dog though weren't she?
[Ivy:] Oh aye! She use to ride on that big dog's back.... Look! There's flames coming over.... [LAUGHTER] She's gone upstairs []!
[Tracey:] You can't be too careful, I mean look what.
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Tracey:] Now could
[Dave:] They'll have to go up into the attic.
[Ivy:] Cos it's well alight innit Dave?
[Dave:] Yeah I think so.
[Ivy:] There's no fire in... that man said. And it's... took all the fire out of it... he there ain't no fire in that bottom one.... They won't be long coming will they love?
[Dave:] No.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ivy:] That fire's... it keeps going in a... making it go to... Look! Look!... This flames out I think there.
[Linda:] It seems to be dying down dunnit?
[Ivy:] No.
[Linda:] Ha! Mind you, every time you say that there's more comes out of it.
[Tracey:] There's most flames coming out of it just before you called them.
[Ivy:] Yeah. And he said to me you better ring for the fire engine cos it's.
[Tracey:] What? What?
[Ivy:] I think it's died down now. It'll cost them twenty five quid that. Look! I never had no fire in did I? I had a.... [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Mam. Your idea of no fire is absolute.
[Ivy:] There was no fire, were there Dave?
[Dave:] No.
[Ivy:] Up at Mrs 's.
[Tracey:] You're not gonna them are you?
[Ivy:] Wonder if she'll stop it? They'll have to come now won't they Dave?
[Dave:] ... make sure it's out.
[Linda:] It's out now.
[Ivy:] It's not!
[Linda:] Are you sure.
[Dave:] Not.
[Tracey:] Still smo coming up. Pauline's
[Ivy:] Eh?
[Tracey:] mum... Pauline's mum had two... in less
[Linda:] Two more fires?
[Tracey:] in less than three months weren't it?
[Linda:] Did she?
[Ivy:] Yeah!
[Tracey:] Pauline moved out and she moved back in again though didn't she?
[Ivy:] Yeah, look! It's still going.
[Tracey:] Where? None coming out of it now.
[Linda:] No. Oh!
[Ivy:] There.
[Tracey:] It's still look!
[Linda:] There's the dog.
[Tracey:] It's still going.
[Ivy:] Is fire coming off it?
[Tracey:] How long does it take them to die out?
[Dave:] Hours.
[Linda:] Even if there's no erm
[Ivy:] Even after there's no sparks coming out i the fireman will have to see to it now.
[Linda:] Yeah, but even if there's no sparks coming out of it, there could still be a
[Dave:] Inside.
[Tracey:] Inside.
[Linda:] inside.
[Ivy:] The chimney. Our one were out but they still see to it didn't they?
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Tracey:] It will die out over there and... the flames were coming through the bricks weren't it mam?
[Dave:] Taking their time!
[Linda:] Mind you, they're getting too many hoax calls aren't they?
[Ivy:] It's still flaring look Dave, int it Dave? Look!
[Linda:] You can still li you can see the flames.
[Ivy:] You can still see the flames coming.... It didn't. They've had the little girl in there.
[Linda:] Well mam, if the chimney gets any worser then all we gotta do is
[Tracey:] Mam. Mrs 's still going int it?
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] Really []!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] I can smell chips.
[Tracey:] Must be something at the top of that... chimney. Chips!
[Ivy:] See it's going out now look, but there's still some more.
[Linda:] Might be that car that went... David must have gone with Brian.
[Tracey:] Must be....
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]... He's warmer in there.
[Ivy:] I'm gonna watch Emmerdale Farm.
[Tracey:] It's not on yet.
[Ivy:] I know.
[Tracey:] It's only
[Linda:] It's in
[Tracey:] ten to. Yeah. Ten to.
[Ivy:] There's a house by that. Because they, they keep coming up fucking they don't do nothing! [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]... That's just you. That is! That's another you!
[Ivy:] There's still some more flame.
[Linda:] Ah! But are you gonna yell at my mum, dad for making a big?
[Ivy:] But it's gone down now innit Dave?... But they can ma can make sure because if you make another fire it could move in couldn't it Dave?
[Tracey:] Mhm.
[Ivy:] Where's th the fire engine?
[Linda:] It's on its way mum, and if it's o... they
[Ivy:] What?
[Linda:] say it's on its way, it's on its way! Don't really have sirens on just for a chimney fire.
[Ivy:] They do!
[Linda:] They don't.
[Dave:] They do in case it co gets out of hand.
[Linda:] Oh!
[Tracey:] So if it's goes, [mimicking] der der der der []! You can hear it. Mind you, you don't know where they're coming from though do you?
[Linda:] Still flames coming.
[Ivy:] There's still flames, look!
[Tracey:] Well it's not.
[Linda:] Well when you're stood there you can see the flames.
[Tracey:] It's more sparks that are coming out.
[Ivy:] messing a mess!
[Linda:] Making a mess, mother! Not messing a mess.
[Tracey:] But, but
[Ivy:] Look at Mrs sa Mrs 's, it was well alight and he'd had to go all in the attic of Mrs 's didn't they Dave? Else he didn't know what done, until Davey went and told her. I think it's gone down now don't you?
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Ivy:] You've had no need to ring for them have you?
[Linda:] Mind you, by the time they get here it's... they've probably gone out anyway!
[Ivy:] They... still at it look. Look! It's still going innit Dave?
[Linda:] There's occasional sparks now and then so it must be still going.
[speaker002:] [shouting] have you seen mum and dad there []?
[Dave:] [shouting] No, not yet []!
[Linda:] What's she say dad?
[Ivy:] It's still coming out of this.
[Linda:] Dad?... They couldn't miss, [LAUGHTER] she was running in, she says, they're coming! They're coming []!
[Tracey:] Is Emma getting excited.
[Linda:] Oh!
[Ivy:] Well it's still coming out
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Ivy:] innit Dave?
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] Now if they say... don't, tell them not to bother.
[Ivy:] It could get going again.
[Linda:] And it could come up again couldn't it dad?
[Ivy:] Well alight so
[Tracey:] Mm. Have they gone in?
[Ivy:] It's still some more coming out ain't there Dave?
[Tracey:] What did she say Dad?
[Dave:] Here it comes!
[Linda:] It's coming! [sighing] Ha []!... [sigh]... D'ya know this could happen on a nice night like instead of freezing like this []! [LAUGHTER]
[Ivy:] They're here look! You couldn't stop them now could you?
[Linda:] No.
[Tracey:] Where? [sirens going]
[Linda:] Can't you hear them?
[Ivy:] Here they are.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ivy:] Here they come!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] Everyone's just getting excited []!
[Ivy:] ... There's still some coming out though Dave.... There's still some coming out look, int there Dave?
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] Look at these!
[Ivy:] [LAUGHTER] []!
[Linda:] Oh dear!
[Tracey:] I'm glad I, I'm not going up the chimney! Look who started it?
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ivy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] I don't believe I said that []!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] You don't believe you said that []! Good one!
[Ivy:] They've got to go up to check it now haven't they Dave?
[Dave:] Oh aye
[Tracey:] Well the
[Dave:] they'll check it.
[Tracey:] the invisible firemen cos I can't see them!
[Ivy:] Look!... Don't knock my
[Linda:] They probably have got lost.
[Ivy:] I think you'd better with this.
[Linda:] Ah?
[Ivy:] If you keep it well away....
[Linda:] Yeah!
[Tracey:] Probably coming that end.
[Linda:] Probably got stuck down there.
[Ivy:] [cough]
[Tracey:] They are, they're coming this way.
[Linda:] I think they're coming.
[Tracey:] That way.
[Dave:] They're coming up tha from down there. Cos I can hear them coming. They're here!
[Tracey:] Told you!
[Dave:] Want any of that
[Ivy:] There they are.
[Linda:] There they are.
[Tracey:] out the way.
[Linda:] It's down here!
[Ivy:] Ah yeah!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] Oh []! God! They won't get little Emma will they?
[Tracey:] Little Emma's a pest! She'll get in the way won't she dad?
[Ivy:] Here they are ri Ian's waving them now look.
[Tracey:] But can they seem him!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]... Well did you see me?
[Tracey:] Oh I hate those blue flashing lights!
[Ivy:] It's not out. They've got to go up.
[Tracey:] Where's Mrs? She's missing all this!
[Ivy:] Haven't they Dave?... Cos our one were out when they come.
[Tracey:] Oh! Do they have to keep those flashing lights going!
[Ivy:] They've gotta check it haven't they Dave?
[Tracey:] I bet they don't.
[Ivy:] They will.
[Dave:] Well I... I think they will, I don't know.
[Ivy:] They will, they'll have to check it. They checked our one when it were out didn't they?
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Linda:] I can't see now!... Mind you, there was an occasional sparks
[Ivy:] I reckon they will. They'll have to check it won't they Dave?
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Ivy:] See look!
[Linda:] There's... still some sparks coming out.
[Ivy:] Still some sparks, yep. That fireman can see them can't he Dave?
[Tracey:] You're right u yeah
[Ivy:] They will.
[Tracey:] there's still some more.
[Linda:] Come on Lesley! Where are you? You're usually here when something happens.
[Tracey:] Ah! They're probably out but it's in the erm... houses that they're are erm, looking through windows.
[Dave:] There's his dad.
[Ivy:] Going to seventeen. They're gonna check it aren't they Dave? Well
[Tracey:] It could be, it could be erm... it could right in the middle couldn't it dad?
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Ivy:] They know don't they Dave? The firemen, don't they? They'll check it.
[Linda:] They are, they're going now.
[Tracey:] That's better, I can see now.
[Linda:] There! There's occasional sparks coming through.
[Ivy:] They've still got some sparks coming out though they've got no.
[Dave:] They'll go and have a look on top and have look there.
[Ivy:] Yeah. Yeah.
[Linda:] Send
[Ivy:] Yeah.
[Linda:] in.
[Ivy:] Are they?
[Linda:] you might be able to see.... Watch a car coming round the green!
[Ivy:] Was there was one car, that way?
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] It looked as if he were turning his head all the way round []!
[Ivy:] Them firemen knows when it's alight don't they Dave?
[Tracey:] Twenty.
[Dave:] I think they're gonna go up. Are they?
[Ivy:] Yeah.
[Linda:] Yeah. Going up, if they could see.
[Tracey:] Yeah. They're going home.
[Ivy:] No.
[Tracey:] Yes.
[Dave:] Yeah, going up.
[Ivy:] They're going up.
[Tracey:] They're getting up.
[Dave:] They're going up.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] Oh! How exciting []! Ooh! Ooh!
[Tracey:] And Mrs still hasn't come out!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] But you... yeah, well, mind you, she's not very well though is she?
[Linda:] No.
[Ivy:] No. Her back hurts her.
[Tracey:] No one else out.
[Ivy:] They're going up, look Dave!
[Dave:] Yes.
[Linda:] They'll probably can see something we can't see won't they?
[Ivy:] They can see the roof.
[Dave:] Yeah that's
[Ivy:] Mm.
[Dave:] cos they know what they're doing.
[Tracey:] Even if they say it's out
[Linda:] No. I don't believe they could ge
[Tracey:] It might not be out.
[Linda:] I don't believe they could get lost coming round here not with all the back fields on fire.
[Dave:] No.
[Linda:] All that time.
[Ivy:] Oh! They're putting a sheet up so I don't know if they're gonna do summat.
[Tracey:] Probably gonna clean it for her, eh?
[Linda:] Did they clean ours?
[Ivy:] Yeah.
[Linda:] Well
[Ivy:] Putting a sheet up anyway.... Look! See!
[Dave:] See
[Linda:] Spark.
[Dave:] those sparks.
[Ivy:] Yeah.... Take no notice of her mother then... when it's
[Dave:] No.
[Ivy:] out will they?... Oh! John's out through the window!
[Linda:] Oh aye.
[Ivy:] They'll wonder who went and got the fire engine won't they? [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Possibly.
[Ivy:] And
[Linda:] Cos they won't turn the lights off.
[Ivy:] Look at that! Still sparks coming out of it.
[Dave:] Yeah, they'll not turn the lights out until the... till i make sure it's out and everything.
[Ivy:] Oh we he said it's out, but it's not is it Dave?
[Tracey:] You don't know though now. It could be or it couldn't.
[Linda:] Why chuck salt on a? Why not ju water on it?
[Ivy:] Cos that will be
[Linda:] Oh!
[Ivy:] And you put salt
[Dave:] You see if you put
[Ivy:] on a fire. [noise of fire engine very loud]
[Dave:] if you put er water on
[Linda:] Oh!
[Tracey:] They're taking that.
[Ivy:] But look!
[Dave:] It's er...
[Ivy:] It's still alight though.
[Linda:] Ooh! me going up there! Ooh!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Linda:] Yeah you've got to write your name then haven't you?
[speaker002:] Yeah! Write your name. What's your name? Excuse me a minute can I just?
[Linda:] And here we go! Then what?
[speaker002:] Enter.
[Linda:] Suppose so. That is it. Oh! This is nice and easy isn't it?
[speaker002:] Is that enter then, yeah?
[Linda:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] Oh! Oh good! You're on your way are you?
[Linda:] I am.
[speaker002:] We're well away! Good!
[Linda:] This is nice and easy! I want a chair. I'm not using one of them!
[speaker002:] Okay. That's it. How are we getting on? very well. Look! Look! Look! Oh I can't get rid of that now!
[Linda:] Can you ah... can you copy to me? Oh!
[speaker002:] Erm
[Linda:] Oh! The nought's got a dot in the middle!
[speaker002:] Not any more. And I didn't put it over there. Where's the erm... comma?
[Linda:] Just down there.
[speaker002:] No it's not.
[Linda:] Yes it is!
[speaker002:] Oh yes it is.
[Linda:] Do not argue!
[speaker002:] Er... I want the co oh! I dunno!
[Linda:] What are you doing? [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] I'm not getting far. in capitals.
[Linda:] Actually what? Yeah.... Supposed to leave a space Emma!
[speaker002:] Shut up!
[Linda:] Slant your address. Mind you... if... she was erm... she weren't in love with a poor man, then yeah, but no... I don't think she is. Mind you
[Tracey:] had his other girlfriend didn't he?
[Linda:] He packs... his girlfriend in then went... with Jane, but he was still going out with a girlfriend... if you know what I mean. He went, she was pestering him. Mind you, I don't know
[Tracey:] And he asked Jane to go down to sort her out... but Jane's scared of a fight.
[Linda:] Jane's scared of offending her.
[Tracey:] I know.
[Linda:] Mind you, I'd feel now she'd mucking up.
[Tracey:] Yeah.... Well her mother's gone and mucked up everybody's life.
[Linda:] I don't think it was her mother... to tell you the truth. I think it was erm... him.
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] Mind you... well... going, going erm... getting her best friend's husband... and lived next door to them as well! Mind you, if erm... someone erm thought of erm... if you're on your own and a man says to you... I'm married but I don't like it can I come and live with you?
[Tracey:] I would say no!
[Linda:] And you sort of like him and
[Tracey:] Make no difference.
[Linda:] Well mind you, she's thick anyway, so
[Tracey:] She'd have to be with that hair! [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Oh! And I, I really wouldn't believe that her friend couldn't see what was going on? They used to have walks didn't they, all together with the dogs? They were like sisters.
[Tracey:] Well she should have known.
[Linda:] Mind you... when she says erm, when Jane says th she went on holiday with them and her mother and father's and that's when they split up. But I think it could have been over him. It could have started years back... you know... but who's to say. He... mind you... but old men don't they?
[Tracey:] Mm. Don't they just.
[Linda:] Mind you... got out.
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] He'd done the right thing.
[Tracey:] Yeah. Jane's done sort of a good thing by getting out, but... she's gonna have to be... an idiot
[Linda:] A
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Even worse!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []! Yeah.
[Linda:] I can't undersa I can't understand how comes she's got involved with the first ma guy to come along? I mean, in school
[Tracey:] You can't really call him a man.... He were wet behind the ears!
[Linda:] Alien!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] Looks like an alien []!
[Linda:] Believe me, with that body and that head he does look like an alien!... Mind you... if she thinks she likes him then... go for it! But... in fifty years' time we could be saying well did Jane pick the right one? And their marriage has lasted. But th then again we could be saying... we sa we told you so!
[Tracey:] In fifty years time I could be married.... But I doubt that very much! Urgh!
[Linda:] Some things will be better if you're married.
[Tracey:] Oh there's quite a few.... I don't think Jane's got any erm... brains when it comes to men.
[Linda:] She's got no brains at all. She's got no brain! I mean... in school right
[Tracey:] Mm mm.
[Linda:] the simplest test you could ever do... she failed! She got three!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Erm... just because I got... ten, if you got ten, you passed... if you got under ten you're a drip... that's what said.
[Tracey:] Mm, so she's a drip.
[Linda:] And she was saying to me, she says, I wish I were brainy like you!... No. She says I'm brainy, I'm brainy!
[Tracey:] Well we all can't be born with brains can we?
[Linda:] Well your one ma one erm... that er example
[Tracey:] Got some, I've got some brains somewhere they just... keep falling to sleep!... And
[Linda:] I doubt if your brain would fall asleep Tracey!
[Tracey:] [clears throat]
[Linda:] But it could be true... your brain might be asleep after... mind you... if you went too erm... mouthy at work tomorrow... shut your mouth... then your brains would be working!
[Tracey:] Yes but she's not coming in tomorrow is she?
[Linda:] Shit! Well no. Mind you, it we it was quiet today.
[Tracey:] Very quiet!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] Er very, very quiet []! I can't believe how much I got done!... Well the letters were going alright... but when it came to that... the
[Tracey:] The menu.
[Linda:] party... oh! The menu I can do, I've do that's fine... but,
[Tracey:] Well my typewriter my typewriter were going funny... it really was.
[Linda:] But when I pressed O... it turned out W... but... you know as we're typing and all of a sudden you've pressed O, and then I say I press W... I got W up... but no O. as if I'm
[Tracey:] Every time I
[Linda:] sticking.
[Tracey:] every time I pressed a key... the ribbon kept flying up!
[Linda:] It's either the correction button going or you need a new one.
[Tracey:] No, the ribbon's alright.
[Linda:] It's the correction button then.
[Tracey:] Cos you put the ribbon in didn't you?
[Linda:] No.
[Tracey:] You had a... oh! You had this one didn't you?
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Tracey:] Now I'm gonna put S I.... Changed over.
[Linda:] Mm. But I think... those bigger ones, that ones they had to have today, is better than the ones you're on.... Even though I can't find that... button to... take the other ones off.
[Tracey:] Oh I know! I couldn't find that one.
[Linda:] I pressed every button I could find and I still couldn't find it.
[Tracey:] No I couldn't. I kept getting percentages. [LAUGHTER]... I didn't want [LAUGHTER] a percent []!
[Linda:] I wanted the other one. Mind you, if they give us a... manual.
[Tracey:] Mm mm.
[Linda:] I wonder if Jane used one?
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] Now she was where we were and that office junior turned up she would have gone for there and I prob bet she will probably be quite
[Tracey:] She would of.
[Linda:] Mind you, I could go for it anyway... if I wanted to.... But who wants to work in a solicitors?
[Tracey:] Be fun!
[Linda:] Yeah but... they treat you as a... skivvy.
[Tracey:] Oh do they?
[Linda:] Make make make coffee, make tea, coffee, general duties
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] General dogsbody more like it []!
[Linda:] Probably.... Yes but where does general dogsbody lead?
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] The front door mostly []!
[Tracey:] Oh aye.
[Linda:] Oh well like she said today, there's no guarantee of getting a job at the end.
[Tracey:] No.
[Linda:] But in some cases there are.... Now there's us working... working, taking everything in, working slowly... taking everything in... piece by piece... we could end up with a job at the end of it... cos we know what we're doing.
[Tracey:] Cor! Do you think so?
[Linda:] Like she said to that new girl... take your time... learn it, get to know it properly... she said... you... learn... what was it? Well actually she said erm... what did she say now?... If you do it properly first time around you'll know it... all the time.
[Tracey:] Mm, mm mm.
[Linda:] But then she's taking it... here, do it! But I think... tomorrow I'm gonna take it in and tell her I can't do it.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] I was thinking about saying that []!
[Linda:] Well you shouldn't lie to her. The books haven't come in yet. You should tell her that you can't do it.
[Tracey:] I suppose you're right.
[Linda:] Mind you... get in early while ev [LAUGHTER] before everybody else [] gets there and we'll ask if she can explain it to you..... They stopped... when Annette went through the... right?
[Tracey:] Mhm.
[Linda:] Then he stopped. And she went at around one o'clock. And it was two o'clock when they stopped talking, they stopped having their break!
[Tracey:] I've had, one!
[Linda:] No it was two o'clock when they stopped talking. They started their break at one o'clock... and finished at two.
[Tracey:] Well they were still working when we left.
[Linda:] Yeah, because th they keep nattering and... they don't get nothing done and then it... after then, but we've gone.... But it's ridiculous!
[Tracey:] What do you call that one with the... big, Mary is it?
[Linda:] I don't know.
[Tracey:] Seen her today. She has finally stopped saying she's got, she's had office experience. And she
[Linda:] About... she actually says that about
[Tracey:] No.
[Linda:] Jaws.
[Tracey:] No!
[Linda:] Oh I mean, you are talking about Jaws?
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] Yes []! I'm talking about Jaws. She hasn't said, since we said that... off that time, she hasn't said anything about her office experience. And she hasn't mentioned the incident with the erm... copying machine.
[Linda:] Mm. Well anybody knows she actually int... cos there was nobody in there to, to see what she were doing with it.
[Tracey:] No.... Suppose, I suppose if erm... Pat or erm... Annette wanted to find out what really happened they'd ask Dianne... and Dianne would tell them cos they, they get to find out the truth then... and she was lo lo lying.
[Linda:] But it was a bit of a coincidence when she walked out that day and er... she didn't come for a week!
[Tracey:] She didn't come back for two days.
[Linda:] For a week!
[Tracey:] A week?
[Linda:] Yeah! She didn't come back all week. I had flu!
[Tracey:] She didn't have flu!
[Linda:] She said, I think she were gonna wonder what, what they're gonna do to her... for... for the copy machine.
[Tracey:] Yes!
[Linda:] Mind you, they're well suited!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]... They're both big! [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] And bulky! Urgh!... No.. If she'd have got... done the pho photocopier machine she would have got, she would have got all she deserves!
[Tracey:] She would have!... Just cos she's erm... worked in an office before doesn't... doesn't mean to say she... she knows everything... like she implies!
[Linda:] Well look at me, I've worked in an office before but, do I know everything?
[Tracey:] I don't know, do you?
[Linda:] No! Enough to run the [LAUGHTER] photocopying machine []!
[Tracey:] Well you're one up on me cos I don't!
[Linda:] I know how a basic computer works... I think. Yeah, I don't, I don't think I'll forget about that. I can type.
[Tracey:] I can type.
[Linda:] Mind you, you get.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]... We'll put the flags out when she leaves!
[Linda:] [hiccup]... I'm just frightened that, in the
[Tracey:] She'll
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] []
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] What about []!
[Linda:] Erm... no! No way! I couldn't do that. But I keep ra... every time I close my eyes I keep wondering if she's gonna pop up with the same er
[Tracey:] We started there on the twenty sixth of December, November
[Linda:] No!
[Tracey:] When we, in the, in the, in the... the erm
[Linda:] It wasn't the twenty sixth of December
[Tracey:] We
[Linda:] because tha
[Tracey:] when we first started there on the course itself, typists... first time we got into the erm...... it was the twenty sixth of erm... of December.
[Linda:] It wasn't because Christmas Day was on the twenty fifth of December!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] Course []! It's the, the, er what was it now? Twenty
[Linda:] It was the week before.
[Tracey:] Twenty something.
[Linda:] Wasn't twenty, it was erm
[Tracey:] It was twenty something. Erm... twe twenty nineteenth.
[Linda:] Nineteenth!
[Tracey:] Nineteenth or so something like that. So from that day... from Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, those four days we have there... Jaws kept saying, but I haven't worked i but I have had office experience
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Tracey:] and I have had office experience. I've worked in an office before!
[Linda:] If she's worked in an office before how come she's there?
[Tracey:] And learning to type?
[Linda:] And er, she hasn't had any qualifications.
[Tracey:] No.
[Linda:] And her husband's eight years older than her! Oh! She keeps saying that every time, she keeps saying that!
[Tracey:] I know, that's the new one int it? Husband's eight years older than
[Linda:] I feel sorry for the poor man!
[Tracey:] No you should feel
[Linda:] I've
[Tracey:] sorry for her! Yesterday... ye yeah, yesterday someone came in saying sorry I'm late there was an accident. And she started on about it!... She's like that! You meet many people like that.
[Linda:] Sh and she really, and she makes me laugh when she said, talking to someone and when they start... working again she turns round to the next person at the other side of her!
[Tracey:] She's got no need to talk about other people. She should talk about herself!
[Linda:] Mind you... I think she owns the place myself.
[Tracey:] Ha!
[Linda:] Like when the boss is around she goes ooh! [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]... She's as bad as me and [LAUGHTER] you []!
[Linda:] Ah! Not quite.
[Tracey:] You could both the... the building shake!
[Linda:] Er... Did she give up smo did she say she gave up smoking?
[Tracey:] Yes. Well I think it was her.... My mum gave up smoking.
[Linda:] Stupid to start anyway!
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] I mean, what does it do for you apart from
[Tracey:] Give you bad breath, make your clothes smell... awful!
[Linda:] taking your money.
[Tracey:] Takes your money.
[Linda:] Well fo... for that much money you can easily just say, look I'm going away.
[Tracey:] Yeah. No, I wonder why?
[Linda:] Er, a certain Canadian!
[Tracey:] Yeah
[Linda:] Mind you, I suppose you'll go off with the Italians. One Italian.
[Tracey:] Well, they've got the right kind of... equipment! [LAUGHTER] Yes []!
[Linda:] That's a new one, equipment!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Oh! A few days ago it was the right body, but... equipment!
[Tracey:] Well I don't mind if he's got all of these! [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Oh well it's just the luck of the draw there.
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] So... I like... Canadians... you like... Italians.
[Tracey:] And don't forget the little Canadian.
[Linda:] Oh! Oh little?
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] You can't call that little!
[Tracey:] Ooh! We've got muscles... on his eyelids!
[Linda:] Little Canadian!... What about his brother?... Tiny Canadian?
[Tracey:] Well he's a only a little bit, he's only two hundred and thirty four pounds.
[Linda:] Only!
[Tracey:] Mm mm! Not very big.
[Linda:] ... Big enough.... Mind you... you've only gotta look at Jane's boyfriend and he's about... two pound weakling!
[Tracey:] I wouldn't go that far.
[Linda:] No. Neither would I.
[Tracey:] I noticed! [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] That's right!
[Tracey:] Would she never go for likes of erm... Matthew? No.
[Linda:] She goes for the ones who erm... think she, they can protect her, but when it comes to the crunch she'd have to be the one that protects them.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] She's good at protecting []! Oh!
[Linda:] Well she did
[Tracey:] That's right.
[Linda:] when his ex-girlfriend came around!
[Tracey:] She'd let him... he'd be. [LAUGHTER]... Pretending she were a dog! [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] She's no need to pretend!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] Well she does look like a Rottweiler a bit don't she []?
[Linda:] Oh! Get out! I like Rottweilers.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] They look like Shaun.
[Tracey:] How about the [LAUGHTER] chihuahua []?
[Linda:] Now that's Shaun! [LAUGHTER]... No! I pulled them.
[Tracey:] Shaun?
[Linda:] Yeah. Do you know something? I don't know why but... Hit Man look... tons better in... clothes than he does out of them.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] He does!
[Tracey:] I've told you that's because he's erm... leggings or whatever they call them th they wear but... the
[Linda:] Leggings tights.
[Tracey:] stretch yes
[Linda:] Yes well
[Tracey:] tights we'll call them... they stretch out.
[Linda:] Mm. They make him look fat.
[Tracey:] Now they're all he wears.
[Linda:] Urgh!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] Well, I don't know what he's trying to hide []! Or trying to erm... save... but who wants to wear them kind of trousers?
[Linda:] Oh I don't know I used to boyfriend.
[Tracey:] Oh I can see Emma wear, wear... did wear them. He's grown out of them though ain't he?
[Linda:] He's grown out of it. He's grown out of it.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]... Andy said he wanted some of them.
[Linda:] Oh! Oh! They're awful!
[Tracey:] I think it was him, or was it David? [LAUGHTER] It were one of the two. They are absolutely awful!
[Linda:] You don't need to tell me!
[Tracey:] I've... it's yo it's not like we was?
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] Can't see []! [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]... You move onto the
[Linda:] His legs.
[Tracey:] I always start at the back so there's nothing else.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] Er... now whenever I 've... me... I honestly wish... he would go under a sunlamp... and melt!
[Tracey:] And melt!
[Linda:] He is pathetic! Underline pathetic!
[Tracey:] Mind you... I suppose his head is erm... smaller than his shoulders so that makes him... like... like a, sort of normal person.
[Linda:] A wimp!
[Tracey:] Ah! Did you see that?
[Linda:] Yes. Coming back.
[Tracey:] Mm. Er... what about that line he came out with? Something about... don't go with the zero when you can go with the ero!
[Linda:] Ero! Oh!
[Tracey:] If he's an ero... I'd rather stick with the zero!
[Linda:] I'd rather stick with Superman! Even though he does fly around in funny tights! [LAUGHTER]... Wears his undies on the outside!... Now I have seen Martin... and they are fifteen... well built
[Tracey:] Mm mm?
[Linda:] Mm. Just the right kind of shape
[Tracey:] Fine!
[Linda:] to go with his body... which is also well built.
[Tracey:] Well I thought Shaun was gonna show his legs but... no he didn't.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] I don't think he will, not with the erm... heavy bandaging he has on his leg.
[Tracey:] Should wrap it round his face!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]... Would
[Tracey:] What
[Linda:] be an improvement!
[Tracey:] Oh! Shut up! I used to like that!
[Linda:] Well you were the one who said you wanted to marry him!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]... I've quickly changed my mind about that!
[Linda:] Mm. Very quickly!
[Tracey:] Mm!
[Linda:] I suppose it'd be alright if you find the right person.
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] But after a time the right person could tie you down.
[Tracey:] The right person sometimes turns out to be the wrong kind of person.... I'm glad I've got two to choose from.
[Linda:] [yawning] Oh yeah []!... Are you quite sure it's two?
[Tracey:] Yes. Quite sure.
[Linda:] Oh!... I had three last time.
[Tracey:] Well... just depends don't it? If them two turn out to be
[Linda:] Creeps!
[Tracey:] unavailable... is available... and any offers
[Linda:] No way!
[Tracey:] I might just take him on it!
[Linda:] No way!
[Tracey:] Why?
[Linda:] He's too big!
[Tracey:] Yeah, but he's the right kind of height.
[Linda:] Cute and cuddly, yeah... but... muscle-wise
[Tracey:] I know he's got muscles... bigger than [LAUGHTER] muscles []! I think he's bigger than Arnold Schwarzanegger myself!
[Linda:] He's just a big friendly giant that's all.
[Tracey:] I don't think yo... I think you may be right but... I don't think I could keep up with the different kind of hairstyles!
[Linda:] I didn't know he changes hairstyles every day.
[Tracey:] Mm! Mm!
[Linda:] It looks the same to me, until he's... had it cut back a bit.
[Tracey:] I think it looks alright when it's cut back.
[Linda:] Mm mm. Well I like it over to the side.... I like it like that, it looked cuter like that.
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] Mind you, I think I'll have my hair shaved off.
[Tracey:] Wrestle mania, see. Where he took on Hulk Hogan for the championship round?
[Linda:] No. Way before that. In the ultimate, while he were there.
[Tracey:] Ooh!
[Linda:] Dead cute!... Mind you, he isn't the sort of he wasn't the wrestlers that I liked. If you know what I mean... it was wrestling in those funny kind of shorts.
[Tracey:] No it wasn't. I remember last year... his jacket... now that was nice!
[Linda:] Ah!
[Tracey:] And he looked good in that jacket.
[Linda:] I've seen him in a proper leather jacket. A proper, proper leather jacket!
[Tracey:] Have you?
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Tracey:] I, do you know something? When he's in clothes... when he, not wearing his wrestling tights, or trunks whatever he calls them
[Linda:] Shorts.
[Tracey:] he looks smaller.
[Linda:] Oh he don't, he looks bigger.
[Tracey:] No! He looks smaller. You know height-wise but... muscle-wise
[Linda:] Muscle-wise bigger.
[Tracey:] more wider
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Tracey:] which, you should be in shorts.
[Linda:] You know that... stripy T-shirt I've got... the
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] black and white one? He wears one exactly like that.
[Tracey:] Oh you, what you mean when he finds erm...
[Linda:] Yeah. Yeah. And a leather jacket.
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] They're probably wearing those awful!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]... Oh yeah.
[Linda:] I bet they're all wearing them boots! Oh! I've, them yellow ones with the black... Christ!
[Tracey:] Urgh!
[Linda:] They are awful!... It's like bananas going bad! [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] Oh my God!
[Linda:] Mind you, it can only happen in America.
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] And Wrestle Mania si seven... no now that was funny!
[Tracey:] Yeah. Ah yeah! That's
[Linda:] ... ding ding, ding!
[Tracey:] Oh!
[Linda:] Where did she find that dress? Oh God! She must have borrowed it off Derby! Oh!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] They were awful! Yes. Not, it was erm, a sequined one.
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] And it was awful! Low cut... thin straps... fairly short... I am almost positive she borrowed that off Barbie!
[Tracey:] Mm. Or could she have got it off one of those star dogs!
[Linda:] Mm! She could have!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Mm. I wonder if they're going to go out this year?
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]... this year.
[Linda:] Mhm.
[Tracey:] Er... where they've just held the erm... Superbowl.
[Linda:] Ah! Football! I hate that trash!
[Tracey:] Yeah. American football.
[Linda:] Mm.
[Tracey:] I can't understand it.
[Linda:] Oh I can. Yo se you erm
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Erm... there are a lot of touch downs. [LAUGHTER] If you get the ball in []
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] []!
[Linda:] it's a bit like rugby. It's a cross between rugby and football.
[Tracey:] I don't know.
[Linda:] Now if you can understand rugby or football then you can understand
[Tracey:] I'll stick, I'll stick, I'll stick to wrestling... can understand that better.
[Linda:] Oh yeah! Get in
[Tracey:] Er the
[Linda:] the ring, ding ding, start fighting... down, you're dead and that's it!
[Tracey:] Yeah well I know all the wrestling.... And I also get rugby.
[Linda:] Mhm.
[Tracey:] I know what a wrist lock is... I know what an arm lock is, I know what a head lock is.
[Linda:] Yes Tracey! We all know what you know what it is.
[Tracey:] I also know what his mum's like. [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Ah!?
[Tracey:] Big.
[Linda:] Daft.
[Tracey:] Big
[Linda:] He's daft!
[Tracey:] I don't know. Big!
[Linda:] Mm mm. Yeah.
[Tracey:] Can't wait till they come back over here.
[Linda:] Ha! Well I can. [yawning] Oh []!
[Tracey:] Maybe, next time we'll get to meet them... close up. I got really, fairly close up this time.
[Linda:] If you say you want to meet them close up
[Tracey:] That as well. Yes I do.... You never know what could happen.
[Linda:] Yeah. They're gonna take one look at you and run the other way!
[Tracey:] That is not funny!
[Linda:] Sorry!
[Tracey:] Anyway, who's to say I couldn't be erm... the next Mrs Hitler, or the next Mrs Genetic?
[Linda:] Or both at [LAUGHTER] the same time []?
[Tracey:] Ooh no! I get too tired! [LAUGHTER]... No, I shall settle just for one person.
[Linda:] Mind you, you could let your thoughts wonder a bit.
[Tracey:] Well [LAUGHTER] they do wonder []!
[Linda:] Wonder why you're stuck over here and they're over there.
[Tracey:] Mm.... Wondering why they never write back. I've come to the cil er, conclusion that Americans don't know how to write. [LAUGHTER]... Th they know how to make everything bigger than anyone else.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] And go over the top. But they do not know how to put pen to paper!
[Linda:] Mm.
[Tracey:] It's nearly three years... since I started writing, I haven't got
[Linda:] It can't be!
[Tracey:] Nearly three years!
[Linda:] No two. One
[Tracey:] Yeah, nearly two years. No. Eighty nine... ninety one, ninety two. Two years. Two years this August.
[Linda:] Crikey! I didn't think that was so long!
[Tracey:] I have written... in two years... and not one reply back.... Not one reply back!
[Linda:] Probably
[Tracey:] I don't know if it's my writing [LAUGHTER] or what []!
[Linda:] Probably is.... It could be you know.
[Tracey:] Even when I typed it.... There's got to be a reason that they have not replied.
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Tracey:] They just don't know how good erm... ways I'm gonna
[Linda:] Oh no!
[Tracey:] I'll send them a photo next time then they might reply.
[Linda:] Yes they will definitely
[Tracey:] No one with pictures please! [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Or send them one of Jaws! [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Oh! Then they'll have to reply.
[Tracey:] I'll send them one of Jane. Oh no! I don't wanna scare them.
[Linda:] Put Jaws and Jane together.
[Tracey:] They'd not know the difference.
[Linda:] I mean Jabber Jaws.
[Tracey:] Mm! That's what I mean! [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Mm. Mind you... if Jabber Jaws... and Mrs T over there, talking, [LAUGHTER] you wouldn't be able to stop them []! They'd find
[Tracey:] They could have a talking competition.
[Linda:] they'd find any of the conversation under the sun to talk about! Mm. And then every so often it's... I've had office experience and... my husband's this, and husband's that and... my brother-in-law can do this, and my brother-in-law can do that!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]... Yeah.
[Linda:] Oh and I've stopped this and I've stopped that! Oh! Haven't you e have you heard her?
[Tracey:] And don't forget my husband's eight years older [LAUGHTER] than []
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] Shh!
[Linda:] Well I suppose it's better than being twenty years younger or whatever.... Or even fifty years.
[Tracey:] Might even got married... cos somebody... older... I don't know if it was fifty
[Linda:] I don't know.
[Tracey:] I know someone in the States has married an eighty year old and she was only eighteen!
[Linda:] Urgh! Yeah?
[Tracey:] Yeah. He was eighty and she was eighteen.
[Linda:] But he was eighty, she was eighteen, not he was eighteen and she [LAUGHTER] was eighty []?
[Tracey:] I said he was eighty! Nearly eighty one. And she'd just turned eighteen.
[Linda:] Silly that!
[Tracey:] Well of course it is! How long do you think they'd have together!
[Linda:] Mind you, do you know that if you'd marry somebody... erm years older than er... and that, she says, well if I die she'd have the money. But... also sa
[Tracey:] That's it int it?
[Linda:] also said that... when that person, if she married... somebody, say fifty years older than her, that they died and didn't leave her to pay. Then she'd be laughing!... But, she doesn't want children.
[Tracey:] Well she's just a number anyway, whether you... stick together.
[Linda:] Yeah.... Mind, don't take it too far when you've got... when you go in er, an eighteen year old married an eighty one year old... now that is going too far! What about... someone twelve years younger?... Mind you, I suppose it's better than being fifty odd years older int it?
[Tracey:] Mm.... Well, look at Tom and Marjorie they were... she was eight years younger than him.... But thank God it didn't last!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] No I won't hear of it.... If he'd of married her, she'd be er... pancake. As he said in that advert, she's pancake!
[Linda:] Pancake?
[Tracey:] Yeah. [LAUGHTER] Hit by a steam roller []!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] Oh!
[Linda:] four people.
[Tracey:] Yeah.... Do you know I... if you ask Andrea about it, anything... she'll probably go on for ages, and ages, and ages, and ages!
[Linda:] Well yeah, even when we probably don't though. She lives on her own now!
[Tracey:] Oh yeah! Brand new, this year.
[Linda:] Well mind you, I like and my dad says... [LAUGHTER] is your mum twenty one again? And he goes no, she's thirty four []!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Oh!
[Tracey:] And Beryl phoned my dad.
[Linda:] She doesn't tell you everything about does she?
[Tracey:] No.
[Linda:] Mind you, kids don't anyway do they?
[Tracey:] No. Well Brett doesn't.
[Linda:] I still can't get over being over the edge.
[Tracey:] Course you can!
[Linda:] I can't.... I can't think...... hitting him but... I don't think I could put him over the edge.... Er er er, I can't remember him throwing him over the edge.... Mind you, that's my violent temper.
[Tracey:] Mm mm.... We all know what your violent temper's like!
[Linda:] Mm mm!
[Tracey:] Make a good wrestler.
[Linda:] Oh shut up about wrestling again!
[Tracey:] Mm. It's my favourite sport!
[Linda:] It's not your favourite sport... it's... the hunky wrestlers themselves, [LAUGHTER] that's your favourite sport []!
[Tracey:] Only two! Er... two and half-ish!
[Linda:] About two and a half-ish.
[Tracey:] Three-ish.
[Linda:] Why's that?
[Tracey:] Well the
[Linda:] You can't be than six. [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Er, you love.
[Tracey:] Mm.... [LAUGHTER]... [sighing] Oh []! I wonder how we're gonna games.
[Linda:] I haven't got rid of this one er bloody yet.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]... Sorry I can't do these they're off. Goodbye.
[Linda:] I honestly believe I will cough up.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] That's if we get a typewriter... I will be gone!... I will just fall apart!
[Tracey:] Nothing to worry about.
[Linda:] I'll be a bag of nerves!
[Tracey:] Mind you, what am I saying! [LAUGHTER]... I hated the exams at school... I didn't think I'd have to go all... through them again.
[Linda:] I didn't think I'd passed.
[Tracey:] Well hopefully they'll pass them round the table.
[Linda:] But I came out with an O level!
[Tracey:] Do you? Do you think you'll pass your R S A one?
[Linda:] It all depends... I, er, it's fifty fifty. I know it... and I've passed then I'll say... yes, I can do it. If I haven't done it... I and er
[Tracey:] You don't need... bu but cos you haven't done it, you don't know if you'd pass it or... or not do you? And if you get in
[Linda:] We don't know anything about
[Tracey:] if you go into the room... sit down in front of the typewriter and the exam begins, and you do it... you could pass easy, well I've done it and I've passed! No need to worry about... [LAUGHTER] then you get on to your R S A two []!
[Linda:] Mind you, once you get to the know the typewriter and that I mean... you know what you're doing and you've done your R S A one.
[Tracey:] And it stops breaking down with you.
[Linda:] And you stop swearing at it! [LAUGHTER]... Ah!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] One mistake!
[Linda:] I'd like to see that silly... next to us on the computer... going into an exam and the machine won't work for her properly.
[Tracey:] But I'd probably end up breaking it! Even worse! Probably head-butt it!
[Linda:] Mm. But
[Tracey:] Or like yesterday when you... you stupid machine! He looked at you as if to say... Jees! She can swear!
[Linda:] I wasn't swearing! Just said
[Tracey:] I know!
[Linda:] stupid machine.
[Tracey:] I know. He did, he did look at you though.
[Linda:] Mm.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] Oh your face though []!
[Linda:] Although I were really mad.... It caught me with my hand... I were going so well and all of a sudden
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] And there's you thinking [] well I'm on the other side of this book, well past you Tracey and... [LAUGHTER] you had to [] start all over again!
[Linda:] Oh I know!
[Tracey:] But you wanted a bit of lesson didn't you? [break in recording] Erm, I probably would have done because I made lots of mistakes and I couldn't be bothered to go back [LAUGHTER] and check them []!
[Linda:] Oh. Yeah. I think I might get another se seat tomorrow.
[Tracey:] You're not having my seat! There's no way I'm sitting next to
[Linda:] Oh have you got
[Tracey:] Fat face!
[Linda:] It's not that bad.
[Tracey:] No, she never does.
[Linda:] Mm. No.
[Tracey:] Mm mm. Nothing interesting up there.
[Linda:] Conversation-wise or
[Tracey:] Well it depends
[Linda:] All depends who turns up tomorrow.
[Tracey:] Mhm.... I think Dianne said she was gonna be in but she won't erm...
[Linda:] ... Well if I turned up
[Tracey:] Well, there should be, it's bound to be when you starting a, you know, big exam int it?
[Linda:] Somebody in the erm exam wouldn't it? She could do it when no one 's here.... But they could of easily just said, well, come in Monday, Tuesday, off Wednesday, and Thursday and Friday... instead of having all them days off.
[Tracey:] They should go in a separate room for the exams though. And the per people who are not doing exams still can... can erm, do their work.
[Linda:] Oh I know.
[Tracey:] Now it's not fair on those others that are in the other room... doing their exams there, and they're just making all that noise from the typewriters... in the other room.
[Linda:] And you're walking straight through. Anyone!
[Tracey:] And you're walking through, yeah! It's not fair on them!
[Linda:] They should have had erm... you know,yo yo, there's another, there's another... erm... like another office at the top of us... stay
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] there. And there's er, steps going up. They should have erm... right up the top up there... they should have had that for an exam room.
[Tracey:] Mm. I don't think that... the whole office isn't big enough. Should have it... should have separate room for the computers and for the typewriters... and for the Y T S students.
[Linda:] They have that, when I up there, the other place I was at, you know and... that judge thing, and I'll have it all to
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] myself. Er you had erm... a room for, you had erm... it were like school. You had er... a class for... a class for postage... right? Then you had... ee, you had, the white classrooms... then you had... er, a class with all yo with your compu computers
[Tracey:] Computers.
[Linda:] computers... a classroom for your typewriters
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] and you took turns at using it, each one.
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] And... even though it was like a classroom situation they didn't treat you like children. And they... like... the computer teacher... he wo he se he taught us... from the very beginning... step by step, or even how to plu plu push the plug in. Well everybody knows how to just... push the plug in, but... he ta
[Peter:] Well what do I have to contribute?
[Dave:] Anything.
[Linda:] Anything. Normal day conversation.
[Peter:] Normal day conversation?
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Peter:] Is this part of your er, course... at college?
[Linda:] No.
[Dave:] No,i it's er a survey. I, I think they want to... find out exactly how... words were used
[Peter:] Yes.
[Dave:] twenty years ago, and then compare it with what words are used... today.
[Peter:] So you need... people of my particular age group.
[Dave:] No. It don't matter what age gro any, anybody.
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Dave:] It's just normal everyday conversation.
[Peter:] But surely the fact that somebody's of a different generation will erm... th th they would have a different
[Dave:] No. No. Well... no.
[Peter:] method of talking wouldn't they?
[Dave:] No,i i you see... even you use di words different now than... than twe twenty years ago.
[Peter:] Oh yes! I, I accept that, yes. Yeah. Cos yo you should learn as you go shouldn't you really?
[Dave:] Yeah. Exactly!
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Linda:] And I need your age as well.
[Peter:] My age? Yes. Er, it's
[Dave:] Twenty one!
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] Yes. I'll accept that. But, a little bit more. Fifty... and er... the na do you want the name in full?
[Linda:] No, just one name.
[Peter:] Peter. Peter means rock, firm as!
[Linda:] Er pa!
[Peter:] What are you pa-ing at? [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Well this int it?
[Peter:] Yeah. And here ends this morning's party political broadcast!
[Linda:] Ah! Ha!
[Peter:] Well what's this week?
[Linda:] It's... explain it.
[Peter:] I've explained it. Then I shall I tell you it's spoken English. You'll probably read in the dictionary probably says at University, just.
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Peter:] [reading] English language, it's the first time. So how words are used in ordinary, everyday conversation []. Yeah.... Mm. Yeah.... But people talk er... relevant to the erm... to their position in society don't they?
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Peter:] I mean so that er... er the different stage of society you, you... your conversation changes.... You adopt... adapt... cheers then! So have you got to fill the tape?
[Linda:] Twenty.
[Peter:] Twenty different people?
[Dave:] No, just twenty
[Linda:] You've gotta have
[Dave:] tapes.
[Linda:] It's, she says you can do as many as you want.
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Linda:] So... I've only got, I've only got one done.
[Peter:] Have you? Mm. So all this is gonna be analyzed by them then?
[Dave:] Have you done both sides?
[Linda:] Yeah.... It's gonna go down on computer.
[Peter:] I could take that tape to some of the houses I go to, but every other word they use is an F word!
[Linda:] It doesn't matter. [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] Well I bet, on that first tape all she got, er we there's an awful lot of F words on it!
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]
[David:] What are you looking at me for?
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Ha!
[Peter:] The man standing in the middle of the room will remain anonymous.
[Linda:] We got the fire engine on as well!
[Dave:] I thought you were stopping?
[David:] Not that I really wanna stop!
[Linda:] Except when it comes to girls! [LAUGHTER]... Can't get anything! [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] Which is quite true. Should be able to. Good looking young man like this!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] I don't think there's anybody daft enough!
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] Not bright either!
[David:] Mm?
[Dave:] for that you know?
[David:] What?
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]... Yeah, they couldn't really make me. [LAUGHTER]... Ooh er!
[Peter:] Right David, thank you very much.
[Ivy:] I hope you've got him on there.
[Peter:] I think that is really... sort of er... interesting.
[David:] You mean bowling?
[Peter:] Enjoy green bowling, yeah.... That appeals to me, it does.
[David:] You... and unemployed used to go and... on a course there for unemployed do, and do that as well.
[Peter:] Whereabouts is that?
[David:] Er
[Dave:] Warren
[David:] Er Warren.
[Peter:] They have an indoor green bowling do they?
[David:] They have a big... roll a big mat up.
[Peter:] [cough]
[David:] Go on.
[Peter:] [cough]
[David:] Has it still got it?
[Dave:] Don't know.... Been ages since the last time, it were about two year I.
[Peter:] This is where? Warren
[Dave:] Newcut
[Peter:] Warren Newcut
[David:] Just up the road.
[Dave:] You know where you go into that school... to the green building on that side
[Peter:] So a whe whe where is it, off the broadway?
[David:] Yeah. Just off broadway, you go, you get a gap between two houses
[Peter:] Yeah.
[David:] and that goes into a school
[Peter:] I'm with you, yeah.
[David:] and, just on there there's a green building
[Peter:] Yeah.
[David:] like er
[Dave:] left.
[David:] on the left, and it's do that's the one in Newcut
[Peter:] Ah! I'll give it a look.
[Dave:] And they
[David:] And er
[Dave:] yeah they have golf.
[Peter:] Ah but you have to pay for it.
[Dave:] I know.
[Peter:] I'm trying to avoid... the excess cost.
[David:] I don't think it's very dear.
[Peter:] Yeah, but it's... I'll have a
[Dave:] Yeah but you gotta... you gotta buy your own er bowls haven't you?
[Peter:] No.
[Dave:] Do they lend you bowls?... Yeah, well if you're gonna be any good at it you've gotta get your own aren't you?
[David:] Yeah.
[Peter:] Well something else I've seen at a car boot.
[David:] Balls.
[Peter:] Yeah.
[David:] Wanna new telly now.
[Peter:] Telly.
[Dave:] I know David he, he, he i it's er
[Peter:] How much did you pay for telly?
[David:] Five hundred.
[Peter:] You bought it? If I get you one cheaper will you wa would you want it?
[David:] I dunno. Might do.
[Peter:] Gotta see it first.
[Dave:] But... David were on about er... how to start off in bowls.
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Dave:] And... he sh he, he said... i it's the most relaxing pastime you could ever have.
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Dave:] But... he says, it's no need to be expensive... but he said, don't go out and buy a set of bowls... and then hope that you're gonna... like it. He says, go a few times
[Peter:] Mm.
[Dave:] and... to where you can... hire balls
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Dave:] and, and play... he said, and then try it for a, but he said you've got to do it a few times
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Dave:] and then... a... if you're gonna use
[David:] [sneeze]
[Dave:] if you're think you're gonna be reasonable
[Peter:] Mhm.
[Dave:] then no reason why then you shouldn't buy your own balls.
[Peter:] That's right. I mean that
[Dave:] But you should
[Peter:] that applies to most things
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Peter:] dunnit?
[Dave:] He said but... what you must do is try it, if you can
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Dave:] and vary the er... weight of the bowls
[Peter:] Yes.
[Dave:] wha what you're hiring.
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Dave:] Jus just vary the weight.
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Ivy:] Are you leaving that here?
[Linda:] That's.
[David:] Is there er
[Peter:] It applies to most things though, I mean, don't it David, in life?
[David:] Yeah.
[Peter:] Same as sex, you gotta try that a few times and then find out if you like it!
[David:] Yeah. True.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] I should have got that on tape shouldn't I?
[Dave:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] It's on!
[Peter:] Is it on?
[David:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []!
[Peter:] Is it?
[David:] I'll have an inch.
[Linda:] Do you want a nut?
[David:] Got one thanks.
[Linda:] Do you want a brazil nut? Do you? Do you?... Ah!
[Tracey:] I made it last Friday.
[Margaret:] [sighing] Oh God []!
[Linda:] Oh!
[Margaret:] This is alright, I think.
[Dave:] Go on and open them windows.
[Ivy:] What's up?... Mind, I won't in I don't like sport.
[Margaret:] What?
[Ivy:] Eh! You know what you got in your pocket
[Margaret:] Yo you don't like nuts?
[Dave:] No. Not really, he'll, he'll just mess about with it!
[Ivy:] He eats chocolate, a chocolate
[Linda:] He'll eat
[Ivy:] one. Oh my goodness!
[Linda:] erm... but he don't eat peanuts.
[Dave:] Salted nuts he'll have.
[Margaret:] Oh my God!... Well I did ask!
[Ivy:] After.... Mm. I've never had it before.
[Linda:] He knows what he wants. Oh! Here ages!
[Ivy:] Oh! I'll go in the bedroom.
[Margaret:] Mm.
[Ivy:] Don't be stupid!
[Dave:] Here.
[Ivy:] In there! Have I gotta get it?
[Dave:] Yeah. [music]
[Ivy:] Have I?
[David:] Have you got Tracey's?
[Margaret:] Is it alright to pin it on something? Look at that bit of paper. [tv turned over to football commentary]
[Linda:] then?
[Ivy:] I don't know.... Oh look, because of that
[Margaret:] David! [very loud tv football]
[Linda:] Oi! I've in here.
[Ivy:] Oh have you?
[Linda:] Probably will.
[Ivy:] Are you nearly finished now love?... Yes you have.
[Margaret:] Enjoying myself.
[Ivy:] Aye. Alright then.
[Margaret:] Do you want one Dave? Oi! Yes Margaret. I don't want any. Thank you Margaret! Do you want a?
[David:] No.
[Ivy:] Ain't seen Carol all week have you Margaret?
[Margaret:] I'm fed up with her!... Telling me off!...
[Ivy:] Yeah.
[Margaret:] Well I couldn't be doing with that! And you know, well I'm afraid I'd have to hit you!
[Ivy:] ... She does have them over sometimes.
[Margaret:] She slept in them since. [LAUGHTER]... Er... let's hope tonight.
[Dave:] But we're still wrong. Got a one.
[Linda:] You know that, my work... is every....
[Ivy:] Yeah.
[Margaret:] That what?
[David:] Just didn't ran up.... Well let's go on that one, let's try that one.
[Ivy:] ... [dog barking]
[Dave:] At the door!
[Linda:] Timmy!... Come on in Tracey!
[Ivy:] Thank you.
[David:] Let's see
[Linda:] Oh!
[David:] What week is the sixteenth of November? [music on tv]
[Ivy:] Don't know.... I don't know. [football on tv again changed channels]
[Tracey:] Hey everyone!
[Linda:] Dad we're... what about?
[Ivy:] [shouting] Excuse me []!
[Dave:] Out!... Out!
[Margaret:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ivy:] Do you think yours?
[David:] I can't find this at all!
[Dave:] Twenty sixth of October.
[Margaret:] What?
[Dave:] Twenty sixth of October, what, what week would that be?... Well let's go back, one, two, three
[Margaret:] Just done it.
[Dave:] five... one, two, three
[Margaret:] Da I,sa I'll tell you how to work it out Dave.
[Dave:] six, seven
[Margaret:] That one. Here!
[Dave:] eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen. One, two, three... four, five, six, seven, eight, nine
[Margaret:] Fifty two, fifty one.
[Dave:] ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen
[Margaret:] Fifty one, fifty, forty nine
[Dave:] fifty one on here.
[Margaret:] forty nine, forty eight, forty seven, forty six
[Linda:] Please can we play down here?
[Ivy:] Yes.
[Margaret:] forty five
[Linda:] Get out!
[Margaret:] forty four, forty three, twenty sixth of October. Forty three.
[Dave:] Thirteen weeks back.... They don't tally though. There's thirteen and three back... from that one.... I make four quid. There's nowhere near four quid on there! Oh no. That's from one.
[Margaret:] Oh God!
[Dave:] Two quid. Right?
[Margaret:] Yeah.
[Dave:] Well I've got a one fifty and a nothing.
[Margaret:] No. Which week? Twenty... you can't say it's thirteenth weeks back Dave because we, there's this week as well.
[Dave:] Well that, and that's eighteen.
[Margaret:] Right.
[Dave:] That's sixteen.
[Margaret:] Just hang on.
[Dave:] A nine an an and an eleven.
[Margaret:] Right. So that's... four, three, two... no that's... gone into week... five.... It's twenty fifth. That's four, three, two, one. Fifty two, fifty one, fifty... forty nine, forty eight, forty seven, forty six, forty five,... forty four, and forty three.
[Dave:] I don't know any of the... except on there, and that, that were... and tha that's, that's before er October.
[Margaret:] Before?
[Dave:] That's way before October.
[Margaret:] Well that's last year's! What you on about? That's last year's you're on, looking at!... We're onto this one here Dave. Down here!
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Margaret:] Thirty eight, thirty nine, forty,for... [break in recording] forty two, forty...
[Linda:] Oh!
[Margaret:] Twenty sixth of October.... Yeah, you've got no payment, that's right.
[Dave:] What about the one before?
[Margaret:] What? That's... there.
[Dave:] So the week before then
[Ivy:] It's alright Davey... take them to court!
[Margaret:] No, there's no pay
[Dave:] They don't, they don't tally. They don't tally.
[Margaret:] There's no payment... week before.
[Dave:] What's that?
[Margaret:] Twenty sixth a
[Dave:] Just no payment.
[Margaret:] Oh?
[Dave:] What's that if it's a no payment?
[Margaret:] Nineteenth of October, that's week forty two.
[Dave:] Yeah that... then doesn't tally with that one.
[Margaret:] Twenty sixth of the tenth, here we are! The sho... there's no payment.
[Dave:] Well what's that? Scotch mist?
[Margaret:] Yeah, but we'll have a look on other one, that's for dark. Have a look at your beginning of your book, that's on you're looking at!
[Linda:] Dad! Dad!
[David:] [cough]
[Linda:] Dad!
[Dave:] That'll be
[Margaret:] Yeah.
[Dave:] that one then won't it?
[Margaret:] Mm.
[Dave:] And what's that one?
[Margaret:] Forty one, forty two
[Ivy:] You had me going this morning!
[Linda:] It's this one, it's over there. this time.
[Dave:] Yeah. That's the one.
[Margaret:] Yeah. Yeah, she shouldn't make a payment.
[Dave:] Eh?
[Margaret:] She didn't make a payment.
[Dave:] Well what's that?
[Margaret:] I know!
[Linda:] And the two!
[Margaret:] Five pound and two pounds.
[Linda:] There look.
[Dave:] Is he here?
[Margaret:] Who?
[Dave:] Mike?
[Margaret:] No. He's on holiday this week.
[Dave:] Oh I'll ring him first thing Monday morning then.
[Ivy:] What's wrong?
[Dave:] And get him to sort that out once and for all!... Well they can sort it out. I mean that's I'll tell him to take us ge er, all three of us to court! Me, Tracey, and Amanda!
[Margaret:] Yeah, but according to this there's a payment been put in and she ain't paid it. See
[Dave:] Yeah. Exactly!
[Margaret:] Yeah, but if you say anything.
[Dave:] It's all going off then Margaret int they? They got to be.... I don't want to say it! Cos I don't
[Ivy:] What?
[Dave:] mi er... to be quite honest I don't believe it!
[Margaret:] What?
[Dave:] Is she paying and you not putting it in?
[Margaret:] Ah! Get up Dave! I mark it every time!
[Dave:] I know you do!
[Margaret:] Only if you don't
[Dave:] And I watch her now taking the books after you!
[Margaret:] Yeah!
[Dave:] So, they've got that wrong! But she i if they say she's made a payment, she must have made a payment.
[Margaret:] No. All except, I can see, you know when they've been asking for this money?... I don't know Dave. I honestly don't
[Dave:] No!
[Margaret:] know.
[Dave:] See you don't! Yo you can't know!
[Linda:] See... just, she... you said something about going in and ask her, and you said... they put it down with that money that went missing and so they didn't put it down until paid it, but we didn't pay it.
[Margaret:] Yeah because they'd no knocked off somebody else as well. They definitely had knocked off somebody else er i... what it i
[Linda:] So they've knocked it off from... everybody?
[Margaret:] Yeah.
[Linda:] Something like that weren't it?
[Margaret:] Yeah.
[Ivy:] Well I paid you didn't I?
[Linda:] Yeah it makes up that money that were missing.
[Ivy:] Well I paid when there was a.
[Linda:] Cos that was the erm
[Margaret:] Oh! Yeah I know.
[Linda:] went... she got the books back.... And did that.
[Margaret:] See a all... all I've done is put down here what... what you've paid in my book.
[Dave:] Mm?
[Margaret:] I mean, according to this, somebody's checked this.
[Dave:] It's not Mike. I don't think it were Mike.
[Margaret:] It definitely weren't me that checked it.
[Dave:] Is it that silly cow in the office?... Can't see in front of her nose!
[Margaret:] I mean, all I did were leave book and ask them to check it.
[Ivy:] He come out last week didn't he?
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Ivy:] He come out to che check your book didn't he?
[Dave:] And he says, he said I, he said I'll send it back with er, a note to say I've checked it.
[Margaret:] Tick, tick, tick!
[Dave:] Yeah. But it's something wrong somewhere Margaret.... Somewhere,som something wrong somewhere so we'll have him out on Monday.... But he said the balance correct and I can't get it correct with what you've got in your book.
[Ivy:] What?
[Margaret:] And what do you say it is?
[Dave:] I make it the
[Margaret:] Cos I've got not as much as it
[Dave:] No
[Margaret:] er
[Dave:] it's more. It's forty one more in your book... and loans, than she does according to that book.
[Ivy:] Well how much does your say?
[Dave:] Eh?
[Ivy:] How much is yours then?
[Margaret:] I mean all I can do is... when Dave gives me money write it in here... that's all I
[Dave:] Yes.
[Margaret:] can do.
[Dave:] That's all she does. And I check it after her.
[Margaret:] And I write in here.
[Ivy:] Yeah, but how much, how much did you have there altogether?
[Dave:] According to that... about hundred and fifty quid in all.
[Margaret:] What? According to what?
[Dave:] In that.
[Margaret:] No. Hundred and forty three.
[Ivy:] How else?
[Dave:] See the... this... th the there's got to be summat wrong. But if you, if you add all them up, and then add up all what there is in there... there's summat wrong. Mm.
[Margaret:] What, what balance is it in, on that bit of paper Dave?... Got last week's payment out of here?
[Dave:] Thirty six ninety eight I've got.
[Margaret:] Oh! Who's this? Mm mm.
[Dave:] Thirty eight... thirty six
[Margaret:] Tracey?
[Dave:] thirty six ninety eight on dock.
[Margaret:] And Linda.
[Dave:] Mm. Forget Linda.
[Margaret:] Yeah but... ow!... No one paid me last week. They get
[Dave:] Tracey... and, and Linda.
[Margaret:] No. One of them didn't.
[Linda:] No, one of them paid you didn't
[Ivy:] No.
[Linda:] she?
[Dave:] Oh! Just Linda?
[Ivy:] had the book.
[Dave:] Just Linda?
[Margaret:] Right.
[Dave:] Tracey!
[Margaret:] Ju jus jus jus ju I'll tell yo
[Dave:] Tracey
[Margaret:] I'll tell you what
[Dave:] Look!
[Margaret:] Dave! Dave!
[Dave:] Yeah but what you got on dock for Tracey?
[Margaret:] Thirty five ninety eight.
[Dave:] Well there's thirty six ninety eight on this.
[Margaret:] Yeah. Exactly! Right! Right!
[Dave:] What you got, what you got on er
[Margaret:] Look shut up! Just let me explain!
[Dave:] What you got on er
[Margaret:] Ha! Look!
[Dave:] loans?
[Margaret:] Look!
[Dave:] Just pu just tell me what you've got
[Margaret:] Well
[Dave:] on loans!
[Margaret:] Dave I'm just trying to tell you! Right! You know the two pound what
[Dave:] I know that. What you got on
[Margaret:] What er
[Dave:] what you got on loans for her?
[Margaret:] What Linda paid last week.
[Dave:] What you got for her?
[Margaret:] You know the two pound what Linda
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Margaret:] paid me last week, that went onto Tracey's.
[Dave:] No it didn't.
[Margaret:] It did! Because I've just had a look here.
[Ivy:] It shouldn't have.
[Dave:] It shouldn't have.
[Margaret:] Yeah! But I mean
[Dave:] What you got on loan
[Margaret:] Do I ever know who's whose in these... this house here?
[Dave:] Yeah! Course you do!
[Ivy:] Well you marked it in Linda's book!
[Margaret:] Didn't mark it.
[Dave:] You marked it in in Linda's book.
[Margaret:] I know! But, on here... I've marked it on Tracey's...
[Dave:] What you got for Tracey on loans?
[Margaret:] So you got a two pound transfer?
[Dave:] And what you got on Tracey on loans?
[Margaret:] Off Tracey's onto Linda's? Eh?
[Dave:] What you got for Tracey on loans?
[Margaret:] Hundred and eight pounds eighty five.
[Dave:] Then that's wrong here.
[Margaret:] How much is that, hundred and seven?
[Dave:] Hundred and nine.
[Margaret:] Yeah! Yeah! This is what I'm just saying Dave! Right.
[Dave:] But if I added
[Margaret:] The two pound
[Dave:] if I add these up,th th there's, they're, they're, they're different again. That is right, that's docks.
[Margaret:] Yeah.
[Dave:] That's right. But when yo when, when you come onto these
[Ivy:] See!
[Dave:] oh that's Graham's. Don't know how to do we?
[Margaret:] Don't let him tell him does he?
[Linda:] Are you up and... paid
[Margaret:] Yeah.
[Linda:] for these?
[Margaret:] Exactly! The two pound what was given... so I'll ask them to transfer that onto your... whose ever book... next week
[Dave:] I mean, if I add all them up... right?
[Margaret:] What?
[Dave:] I add all them up.
[Margaret:] Yeah. Whose is this one?
[Dave:] Tracey's.
[Margaret:] Right.
[Dave:] Add that up. Then add the two together... it didn't tally with that.
[Margaret:] No. But... can I ask you something? Can I take... Linda's book in to have the total?
[Dave:] Get your book.
[Margaret:] See I've... there's two pounds
[Dave:] I've cleared that.
[Ivy:] Cos I never o know who's who in here!
[Linda:] So how much is it altogether?
[Margaret:] Well all it is, all it matters with me
[Dave:] Hundred and forty quid according to that innit?
[Margaret:] all it is with me
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Margaret:] I mean, he's paid me two pound, right, last week
[Linda:] But that was
[Margaret:] cos that were well, didn't it? Didn't you? You
[Linda:] Well I
[Margaret:] paid me two pounds. and one o Yeah.
[Linda:] I paid you.
[Margaret:] Well I've put it onto Tracey's.
[Linda:] Okay. It should be just under a hundred pound.
[Margaret:] Er, there were two pound payment put through
[Ivy:] Wanna get that
[Margaret:] the, the
[Ivy:] video?
[Margaret:] er... and all it wants is doing is transferring off.
[Ivy:] What are you looking for Tracey?
[Linda:] No.
[Ivy:] It's over there.
[Margaret:] All they'll do is put a... local transfer erm, thing in. So it sho still should only be the two pound out.
[Dave:] I put it in the back of the red thing.
[Margaret:] But what i should actual fact be, one should be owing two pound more than what it says... and the other one should be owing two pound less.
[Dave:] Yeah but Sue got it... Sue got all the... tried er everything I could to, to get it to... to tally.
[Margaret:] Linda.
[Ivy:] Yeah.
[Margaret:] And then
[Dave:] Hundred and one I think.
[Margaret:] Hundred and eleven.
[Ivy:] Eh?
[Tracey:] Don't know what it should be. Er
[Dave:] Hundred and forty six on this.
[Margaret:] What? On whose?
[Dave:] Tracey's.... According to this lot.
[Margaret:] I haven't checked, no you've just said Linda before.
[Dave:] No,bu er on Tracey's... together, is hundred and forty six, forty three
[Margaret:] Oh no!
[Dave:] on this.
[Ivy:] How much?
[Dave:] Hundred and forty six eighty three.
[Margaret:] Hundred and forty four... eighty three. But then I put two pounds, which should have been off Linda's.... Cos you didn't pay me owt off
[Dave:] ... You can have that.
[Margaret:] I should have real ah?
[Dave:] You can have that.
[Margaret:] I should have realized when I'd taken Tracey's book in. Right. I'd put it just down here, I marked it down here... when I were here last... last week. I marked it as Tracey's but I were taking Tracey's book in weren't I? So I
[Linda:] So I
[Margaret:] picked Tracey's book up.
[Linda:] get a letter from the girl there then.
[Dave:] Mm.
[Margaret:] Yeah I know. What about?
[Linda:] To say I haven't paid, but I have!
[Margaret:] Well no you'll not get, cos I'll take this in... and say, look, can you just transfer two pound off Linda's onto this. I mean, all it, all it means
[Dave:] Off of Tracey's onto there.
[Margaret:] Yeah. All it means to me is one owes two pound more than other one.
[Linda:] No, no it
[Tracey:] but if
[Linda:] it'd be, it'd be understandable if we were identical twins but we're not!
[Tracey:] But we're not!
[Margaret:] Yeah but I mean I don't
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Margaret:] I just... you're just names to me, do you know what I, I mean, I still don't know who, which one you are, now... even though you said. Who are you?
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] Linda []!
[Margaret:] Eh?
[Dave:] She's Linda.
[Margaret:] Yeah, I know. But I mean
[Ivy:] That's Tracey, this is Linda.
[Margaret:] I dunno, I always think that one is Linda and that one's
[Dave:] She's e she's Ivy's daughter.
[Margaret:] I know. Yes!
[Dave:] And that one's Ivy's daughter!
[Margaret:] I know!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Margaret:] But i if you put yourself in my position... and... all you do is call
[Dave:] God forbid it if ever I put myself in your position!
[Margaret:] No but
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Margaret:] [LAUGHTER] You know what I mean []!
[Dave:] God almighty!
[Ivy:] Yes. Have you got Tracey's middle name on there? On their books?
[Margaret:] Tracey Anne?
[Ivy:] Yeah. Then you can't get really stuck can you?
[Margaret:] Yeah, but I still don't know who Tracey Anne is there! That one's
[Ivy:] You don't
[Margaret:] Linda... now.
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] Yeah. Mine's just plain Linda.
[Margaret:] I'll try and remember. Ah?
[Ivy:] Hers is just plain Linda.
[Tracey:] When we get some money we'll get name tags!
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Ivy:] Linda, Tracey's got a middle name.... And Linda ain't.
[Tracey:] And I'm blonder
[Margaret:] Yeah but
[Tracey:] she's blacker.
[Margaret:] but to me. Yeah.
[Tracey:] Dark hair.
[Linda:] Tracey hasn't
[Margaret:] Well I just know that Tracey and Linda and I don't know who's Tracey and Linda.
[Ivy:] You know who Brian and David is?
[Margaret:] Yeah, because they're... I dunno.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] Brian []!
[Margaret:] No, I know, I don't mean... owt, owt wrong... but I just can't remember... these two names, I don't know why, there's something I've never been able to, cos I've always said to you ain't I?
[Tracey:] Margaret... don't punish yourself! Even these two get mixed up with us.
[Ivy:] I know. Yeah.
[Margaret:] Yeah. But it's very, very
[Ivy:] I ain't... sometimes I check... and ask Tracey for Linda.
[Margaret:] I don't know why it is but... probably because they're always together. I think this is what it is. And, I mean, even when I say... make a cup of tea
[Ivy:] Who are you now?
[Margaret:] I'll even ask them! Don't I?... It's because a... there's summat. I don't know why!... But I'll get yo that two quid transferred.
[Dave:] Would you get mixed up with her?
[Margaret:] Oh chuff me! That's, I bet that's some sports thing. It's a load of shite that paper! To be perfectly honest! Yeah, I'll get you your two pounds knocked off o... er
[Ivy:] From Linda.
[Margaret:] Tracey's onto Linda.
[Ivy:] Listening Linda?
[Margaret:] Yeah I'll cha Yeah I, no I know, I know where I got it.... And I'll just put a note in. But I mean, that were a simple mista I mean you made a payment of two quid... didn't you?
[Ivy:] Yeah that saves you making a payment don't it?
[Margaret:] No, well... I mean, it weren't as though I hadn't put a payment in... it were just that... it probably was this taking Tracey's book... and I marked it onto Tracey's, er, Tracey's book.... Here he goes look!... And
[Ivy:] How do you know?
[Margaret:] Eh?
[Ivy:] But that will be in together or not? Do you think you can get me something didn't he?... Must be in there.
[Margaret:] I mean I have put a payment in,i it's not as though I didn't, I mean that was quite easy mistake to make, to me. But erm... I mean, I don't know about other.... Cos normally they both pay anyway don't you?
[Ivy:] I think I might have to er change the wallpaper.
[Margaret:] Oh!
[Ivy:] Don't you Dave? Who'll come out?
[Dave:] Mike.
[Margaret:] Ah?
[Ivy:] When did you pay in?
[Linda:] Last Wednesday.
[Margaret:] Last Wednesday? No, he's
[Ivy:] Eh?
[Margaret:] been on holiday this week.
[Dave:] No! Last week
[Margaret:] Week la
[Dave:] week past.
[Margaret:] week last Wednesday.
[Linda:] He said to Tracey, are you not paying?
[Ivy:] ... were they?... I said, what have you come for? He said is Tracey in? I said, yeah. What do you want her for? He said can I have a word with her?
[Tracey:] Don't worry about me!
[Ivy:] I said no.
[Tracey:] Mother!... Dad. Don't worry about me!
[Dave:] No.
[Ivy:] And he said, is Tracey in the kitchen?
[Margaret:] Yeah but he's probably [LAUGHTER] done tha... knows who's anyway []!
[Ivy:] I mean, I doubt if he'll know... who's Brian and who's Dave... to be perfectly honest.
[Dave:] Well, there you are then.
[Ivy:] Eh?
[Dave:] off me.... That's why they're always going up to him.
[Linda:] Mind you, he and Uncle Brian they are identical twins... people can... find out who they are but, well they can't find out who we are can they?... Don't think it matters at work.
[Dave:] Oh your tea's here.
[Margaret:] Yeah.... you can make... make it right next time with Tracey's and Linda's... anyway, if they hadn't done it in office because I can put... two pound what... Tracey paid... onto Linda's anyway, it'll still balance it out won't it? Do you know
[Ivy:] No.
[Margaret:] what I mean?
[Ivy:] No!
[Margaret:] It will, yeah!
[Ivy:] No cos Ta Linda'll be a way behind then.
[Margaret:] No. Er say, I mean they normally give me three pounds don't they?
[Dave:] It's, it's, it's, it's th th the mix up has come on, in that book it's
[Margaret:] Yeah.
[Dave:] not on their cards.
[Margaret:] Oh no, it's not on the cards. But
[Linda:] I'll pay as the erm
[Ivy:] Well I'll tell you summat
[Margaret:] No that... that were my mistake that.
[Ivy:] I'm not having owt to do with this!
[Margaret:] No that were my mistake, which er, is a genuine mistake, I mean sh you paid me two quid, as I say, I don't know who's whose now
[Ivy:] And then you
[Margaret:] that was Linda now.
[Ivy:] Tracey didn't pay that did she?
[Margaret:] No. Tracey didn't pay. But I took Li Tracey's book in... and probably I've seen the Tracey and marked it down there you see... on Tracey's instead of Linda's, which, I mean that's a genuine mistake int it?
[Ivy:] Well, who put that
[Margaret:] Well he doesn't
[Ivy:] on card?
[Margaret:] Ha?
[Ivy:] parcels haven't been marked....... What's that? [tv loud]
[Dave:] Er, woman that he were to go to... Mr.
[Ivy:] ... a woman?
[Dave:] Mm.
[Ivy:] Where? Him who er were getting engaged to?
[Dave:] Called David, I think they call him.
[Ivy:] Mm.
[Dave:] Or is that guy from
[Ivy:] He lived down... Station Road.
[Dave:] Ah! Station Road, course he lived
[Ivy:] Yeah.
[Dave:] down Station Road.
[Ivy:] He used to baby-sit for her. [music on tv]
[Dave:] Oh! We heard... today they were supposed to have been getting engaged to er... a seventy year old woman!
[Ivy:] Who? Ernie?
[Dave:] Mm.
[Ivy:] No, Gwen. Don't live round that though.
[Margaret:] No, she
[Dave:] No she li lives at er
[Margaret:] Doncaster way.
[Ivy:] She don't live at Doncaster!
[Dave:] She's supposed to live down Station Road in Hatfield.
[Ivy:] That one he's supposed to be engaged lives her sister.
[Margaret:] Mm.
[Dave:] No, that we that were one of them.
[Ivy:] That's it!
[Dave:] That were one of them. No, the other one who's, who's... supposed to have a
[Ivy:] That's her!
[Dave:] a son called David.
[Ivy:] [LAUGHTER]... That one what's got the car? He used to go babysitting for her.
[Margaret:] Do you want a nut, anybody?
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] Nut's, no.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ivy:] Ernie's just bought
[Linda:] Let's have a nut then.
[Ivy:] Ernie bought her a car.... She hadn't got one
[Dave:] He's supposed to have been a... with Provincial.
[Ivy:] Who?
[Dave:] Ernie. Well they're an insurance company aren't they? And he's supposed to have got four thousand pound from them. Two lots of two thousand pound. And the solicitor wants to know where it is.... He wants every single penny accounted for... before he starts doing anything.
[Ivy:] But she's that... we
[Dave:] He had er, fourteen and a half thousand pound once in a building society four year ago... there's nine hundred pound left in his bu er, building society account! They want to know where that is.
[Ivy:] She,
[Dave:] The solicitor, nobody else, just the solicitor.... Er... he's got some insurance policies... one's for eleven hundred pound... right? And they're gonna pay that. And that's gotta go straight direct to the solicitor. Also, he's supposed to have had an insurance policies... but General Accident said it's only for a year... and he took it out in seventy seven to nineteen seventy eight.... But he's still got the policy... life insurance on it.
[Ivy:] He was insured with the Co-op.
[Dave:] He was insured with the Co-op.
[Margaret:] Oh that were a... that'll be... bound to come.
[Dave:] So that's
[Margaret:] I don't know.
[Ivy:] Yeah, he won't pay Mrs insurance money out yet will he?
[Dave:] No, he, he, he, he's gotta pay it to the solicitor.
[Ivy:] It all gotta go to them?
[Dave:] It's all got to go to solicitor. And that... fourteen thousand five hundred pound every single penny's got to be accounted for.
[Margaret:] Well who's gonna know about that then?
[Dave:] The bank. Building society he put it in. The solicitors who gave him the court order... for them to release all the details on that.
[Ivy:] And even that car he bought... the
[Margaret:] Who?
[Ivy:] the solicitor can take it off him
[Dave:] The solicitor wants to know why
[Margaret:] And he'd bought a car had he?
[Dave:] Yeah. For a boy. Bought a car for a boy. Who's, the one who's supposed to have been getting engaged to son, and they call him David.
[Ivy:] No! He weren't engaged to her, she's a married woman. He used to go babysitting for her.
[Dave:] He used to go babysitting, he's bought her a ring and everything.
[Ivy:] Yeah! But she's got a husband. That one's he's supposed to be getting married to live at Wellingdon
[Dave:] And she's seventy year old er and
[Ivy:] Yeah! She's actually Mrs 's sister.
[Dave:] I don't know. It's all mixed up and jumbled.
[Ivy:] I dunno. I'm not bothered.
[Dave:] Fog's coming in.
[Ivy:] He lives at Bath though.
[Margaret:] I don't know. Honestly I don't know, I mean
[Dave:] Who's he reckoned to be?
[Tracey:] Roxy Music.
[Ivy:] And he works at the?
[Margaret:] Oh stop analyzing! All I know is... Cyril's got his bird that's all I know! Ha!
[Dave:] Well they had a... they've had a bill... for er... bird seed
[Margaret:] Where from?
[Ivy:] Don't know.
[Dave:] From some from somewhere... three days after he died!
[Margaret:] Well I don't know where it were from because... Ernie used to get his seed from our shop.
[Dave:] In Staythorpe.
[Margaret:] Yeah. And it weren't Brian that sent it.
[Dave:] Well he's got it, he's, he's got his, he's got erm... a bill... and the solicitor has told him that under no circumstances must I pay it.
[Ivy:] Don't pay it!
[Dave:] Under no circumstances must I pay it!
[Ivy:] Yeah I know! Well I don't think you're daft enough!... They must be nice them nuts.
[Linda:] Dad!
[Ivy:] He's eating them!
[Dave:] It's alright, it's still going.
[Ivy:] Are you switched it off?
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Dave:] dark.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Margaret:] What?
[Dave:] Dark.
[Ivy:] It's for Linda.
[Dave:] I'll let you read it in a minute. If I can find it.
[Ivy:] Now stop it!
[Linda:] Dad!
[Tracey:] No you don't!
[Ivy:] You'll have to put it down soon madam!
[Margaret:] Is the heating on? I don't think i I don't think I could wear a dress like that!
[Dave:] Probably cos it's all the peanuts you had!
[Ivy:] Ah! Don't be cruel!
[Margaret:] What's this for?
[Dave:] Market research.
[Ivy:] Then you get. I'm recording you on that tape machine I think.
[Linda:] It's for erm... tt... everyday... conversation.
[Dave:] Everyday's conversation.
[Margaret:] What, me and your dad shouting [LAUGHTER] at each other!
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Margaret:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Eh! I might well have got that... onto another tape... and then... every time she says something you just say [LAUGHTER] look what you're doing []!
[Ivy:] That'll do! No more now. No more!
[Margaret:] Come off it Dave! Come off it!
[Ivy:] Well that's not really working.
[Margaret:] What?
[Tracey:] Margaret's not in the.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] I wonder if Terence'll come today, do that... outside wall.
[Ivy:] Yeah.
[Dave:] They've got to fill it up a bit.
[Ivy:] Get your feet off your... ask her for it then! Ask her! Ask her!
[Linda:] Hang on!
[Margaret:] Do you know how much these are a bag?
[Ivy:] No.
[Dave:] Really foggy!
[Ivy:] Dunno.
[Linda:] He's not bothered as long as eats them!
[Dave:] It int half coming in!
[Margaret:] Do you know how much?... Sixty five pence!
[Ivy:] Six?
[Linda:] So Margaret we all enjoyed eating them!
[Dave:] About another hour and you'll not be able to see... Corky's fence.
[Ivy:] I'll be glad when our Brighton's off.
[Linda:] Here! Be entrusted to get him on time.
[Dave:] Er... do you want some advice?
[Margaret:] What?
[Dave:] Get done as quick as you can.
[Margaret:] I've only got two more to do.
[Dave:] Yeah. It's coming in look.
[Ivy:] [cough]... [cough]... Christ! Every time Margaret then moves in well, here goes!
[Dave:] Oh aye.
[Linda:] Yeah, you're done.
[Ivy:] He wants to get in there.
[Dave:] What he nor what he normally does is he, he grabs it off of you, and go run away with it.
[Ivy:] And you, cos there ain't one in
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Ivy:] there.
[Dave:] Cos he want more and more and more.
[Ivy:] I'm just but he needs it. That's enough. Every week. Every, he wouldn't eat them.
[Linda:] He would!
[Margaret:] He likes them.... They're quite er moreish.
[Ivy:] Don't give him no more Margaret.
[Linda:] He like nuts and raisins as well don't you Timmy?
[Ivy:] He, no he won't be.
[Margaret:] Plenty of salt in, in them.
[Dave:] Yeah but don't give him no more.
[Margaret:] Why?
[Dave:] He's had enough now. Come on! Eh! Eh!
[Linda:] Timmy!
[Ivy:] And he'll be straight in, they'll be blowing him, and blowing him up!
[Dave:] Aye. That's enough now. That's enough! Tha eh! Eh!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] Come here!
[Ivy:] It's Margaret, having trouble with it!
[Dave:] That's enough now! You know, come on!
[Margaret:] He ate, he ate salty nuts as well didn't he? Now you know. [dog barks]
[Dave:] That's enough now!
[Margaret:] Ah! Ah! I wouldn't,no not you.
[Dave:] No!
[Margaret:] Erm, Timmy!
[Dave:] No!
[Margaret:] Eh, this,
[Dave:] Don't growl at me!
[Margaret:] Ask her!
[Dave:] You're not having no more!
[Margaret:] Tim!
[Linda:] Come on then! Ask her!
[Margaret:] Nah! Aargh! Aargh! Aargh! Ow!
[Linda:] That's a good, [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ivy:] He's a hungry little dog Margaret ain't he?
[Dave:] Mm. I said no
[Margaret:] No!
[Dave:] more!
[Margaret:] He said
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Margaret:] bull!
[Dave:] I said no more to you!
[Linda:] Ask her then!
[Tracey:] Ask her for what? [music]
[Margaret:] He went, he'd been a, he'd been. [LAUGHTER] [dog barks]
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] He's asking you?
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] He's asking you now!
[Ivy:] He asking you!
[Dave:] He asks.
[Ivy:] Er, there's Marion going to work... on bus... gets to outside... my dad's club... crash! Back of bus. I jumped out my skin nearly! Er, summat had ran into back of bus, I don't know what it'd done to, whatever behind us... but it didn't hurt bus.
[Dave:] No, it's got a great big steel girder at the back!
[Linda:] [whistling]... Eh! Out! You!
[Ivy:] !... We've nearly had Margaret's nuts.
[Margaret:] I bought them just for the bag though.
[Ivy:] Have they got salt on?
[Dave:] No. They're just brazil nuts.
[Ivy:] That's it now! No more!
[Margaret:] And you don't have any choice.
[Dave:] Well what had hit bus?
[Ivy:] Don't know.... I didn't get out to see.
[Dave:] Did driver get out?
[Ivy:] Mm.
[Dave:] You could have just turned round and had a look. You were fit to weren't you?
[Margaret:] Somebody had bumped into Craig's car.
[Dave:] Where, in Scotland?
[Margaret:] No! Coming out of his road end. And he said, come out of his driveway, turning into Rosebury and somebody forgot to stop! [LAUGHTER]... Coming out of Rosebury straight into his side of car!
[Ivy:] Serve him right!
[Dave:] The insurance, insurance will pay for that won't they?
[Linda:] I heard this one.
[Margaret:] Just give him a dead eye.
[Dave:] Hey! Hey!
[Ivy:] Oh
[Dave:] That's enough! Tim!
[Ivy:] ?
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Dave:] You! Get and get leathers!
[Ivy:] I know he went mad up town. Go and get
[Dave:] You get leathers!
[Ivy:] Leave him!
[Margaret:] Come here.
[Ivy:] Go and off Margaret, go on.... They say they don't like this, used to like nuts.
[Linda:] You're not too fussy are you?
[Ivy:] They let him come and he won't get any biscuits.
[Linda:] All gone now. All gone now.
[Margaret:] All gone now Tim.
[Linda:] All gone now.
[Ivy:] She ain't got any more now.
[Margaret:] You've damn well eaten all my nuts!
[Linda:] ... [LAUGHTER] He wants your [].
[Ivy:] Do you? You can't have a cigarette.
[Margaret:] [belch]. Pardon me! I burped.... Are you not at work yet?
[Ivy:] Monday.
[Dave:] Monday. Monday.
[Ivy:] But
[Margaret:] Well that's bad innit?
[Dave:] He's had tonsillitis!
[Margaret:] Oh! He were poorly when I seen him. I know. How am I supposed to stay in?
[Ivy:] Look at it!
[Margaret:] Eh?
[Dave:] Oh aye! You're supposed to stay in if you go if you suffer with asthma or
[Margaret:] I know.
[Dave:] owt like that. Ooh it is coming in now! Can't see them trees up there now look.
[Margaret:] Oh no!
[Ivy:] We've had enough people!
[Margaret:] Ah? We've already had one of those.
[Ivy:] We've already one ain't we Dave? It were useless! You got some?
[Margaret:] I know I've got some Tunes that are good.
[Linda:] Sweeties Timmy!
[Dave:] Here.
[Margaret:] Our Neil has them.
[Dave:] Eh?
[Margaret:] Our Neil.
[Dave:] I like Pot Noodle, but I don't like that sa rubbish!
[Margaret:] Eh?
[Dave:] I like Pot Noodles, but I don't like that rubbish!
[Margaret:] What, sweet and sour?
[Dave:] Chicken.
[Margaret:] It's sweet and sour.
[Dave:] I hate chicken!
[Linda:] She always looks, she doesn't use this erm
[Ivy:] No!
[Dave:] No, give me one of them. Cos he'll be jumping all over it! Rolling all over it.
[Margaret:] I shall have a Tune and get on my way! I shall play my tune!
[Linda:] Oh don't, we don't want the weather.
[Ivy:] You won't, and all.
[Margaret:] No! If my number's up, my number's up!
[Linda:] No.
[Ivy:] Margaret when you go and, last week when you out of here. It were.
[Margaret:] Yeah but it were down... now Monday. Oh! It was around here! Hampton Road.
[Ivy:] Ooh er!
[Margaret:] I don't know.... There were a couple of ambulan ah
[Dave:] Ambulance and er, paramedics.
[Margaret:] Yeah.
[Dave:] Somebody said a kid got knocked down.
[Margaret:] It weren't on Broadway itself. It turned down one of side streets. And, I... nearly got up to Beachfield... cos Carole said... ooh it looks as though it's going down Hampton! And I never ca I couldn't catch it up. [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Margaret:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ivy:] God! It went full belt didn't it Dave?
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Margaret:] Ah?
[Ivy:] down there.
[Margaret:] Well apparently there's an old man down there
[Dave:] Who got asthma.
[Margaret:] that's got... asthma, and he often goes into... or dia he's a ba diabetic or summat... and goes into comas.... She told me his name, I don't know.... And you know erm... Hilary? You know George, that used to do fridges?
[Ivy:] I dunno.
[Margaret:] There were Gill that, Gillian, Hilary, and Lynn... three lasses with long hair at school? Come off Grange. Gi er... Gillian's got right blonde hair. But they all had plaits... right long hair, all of them.
[Dave:] I know Trevor used to see them.
[Margaret:] No.
[Dave:] Wi Willie, that's all I know.
[Margaret:] No they we... who got into trouble?
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Margaret:] No.
[Dave:] Were they cousins or summat?
[Margaret:] No. Well er... she, she works at Midland Bank in ta in Thorne. She's about... thirty eight maybe.
[Dave:] Oh! I've seen her. If I remember rightly
[Margaret:] Call her Hilary, she's darker now. She lives on Menson Drive. Her husband's just collapsed and died!... Forty one!
[Linda:] Oh he looks nice don't he?
[Ivy:] Who?
[Linda:] Purple Rain.
[Margaret:] Ya? Do you not know who I mean?
[Dave:] No. I think I know cos I se I think there is a, a, a, erm er
[Margaret:] Eh! That bungalow is erm, empty where your mam, next door to your where mama used to live.... It is empty.
[Ivy:] They're knocking down.
[Dave:] An old man and woman lived there didn't they?
[Margaret:] Yeah.
[Dave:] Who had a garage... built onto the side.
[Margaret:] Mm.
[Dave:] And er, the last time I saw them they had a Morris Minor... a gol Morri er... a blue Morris
[Ivy:] A blue one.
[Dave:] Minor car. Cos he er,
[Margaret:] Does Mr still live there down there? Do you know who I mean?
[Dave:] No.
[Margaret:] Dan?
[Dave:] Don't know.... Don't know who you mean.
[Margaret:] Where... your mum lived he just lived down the corner.
[Dave:] I didn't know any of them.... I didn't even know them who, who lived next door to her at the side of. All I knew is... my mother talked about her that's all, and she, she, my mother knew her but, I didn't.
[Ivy:] I didn't,
[Margaret:] Who the hell's that?
[Dave:] Prince.
[Linda:] Prince.
[Margaret:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ivy:] He looks nice though don't he Margaret?
[Margaret:] I don't know. Not as good as Michael Jackson is he?
[Dave:] You reckon he's any good?
[Linda:] He's rubbish!
[Ivy:] Oh a brilliant dancer!
[Linda:] He isn't!
[Dave:] Oh!
[Ivy:] Ooh he is! He's just, you love doing it!
[Margaret:] On er
[Linda:] Oh!
[Dave:] Barrymore
[Margaret:] Barrymore. Did you see that young lad?
[Dave:] Yeah.
[Margaret:] I thought he were brilliant that little lad!
[Linda:] ... before Michael Jackson did.
[Dave:] More practical him living
[Linda:] Well he won't go short of a... of his erm, tt... thingie will he?
[Tracey:] No.
[Ivy:] Oh yeah!
[Margaret:] No I don't like him.
[Linda:] I do.
[Margaret:] He's tries to look like Michael Jackson don't he?
[Dave:] Well he di he did a video a... and it's a wonder it weren't banned!
[Ivy:] Who?
[Dave:] Prince.
[Ivy:] Oh the... thing wi
[Linda:] With his trousers?
[Margaret:] Did he?
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Margaret:] Oh yeah! I've seen one... oh it might have been Michael Jackson
[Linda:] Michael Jackson.
[Margaret:] having it off with
[Dave:] Sheena Easton?
[Margaret:] Nah! Having it off with Michael's, er Michael's. Oh dear!
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Margaret:] Why, didn't you see it?... Right I'm going.
[Ivy:] Are you?
[Margaret:] Yes.
[Dave:] Yes.
[Margaret:] Right. Byes ee bye! See you!
[Ivy:] Yeah.
[Linda:] Come on, what's wrong with it?
[Tracey:] Well it's a good letter but... your spelling mistake.
[Linda:] Ha!
[Tracey:] What you should do is erm
[Linda:] The spelling mistakes only occurred when... I was shouted.
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] Don't worry! I'll put it right.
[Tracey:] Well do it at work then if you make a mistake just... ru ru rub it out.
[Linda:] We're not, we'll not be allowed to.
[Tracey:] How do you know?
[Linda:] Mhm.
[Tracey:] Well do it when erm... Pam's not there.
[Linda:] That's an idea!
[Tracey:] Do it on Wednesday.
[Linda:] Mm.
[Tracey:] No, Thursday.... At work.
[Linda:] Friday.
[Tracey:] Why Friday?
[Linda:] No I can't do it Friday cos I wanna send it off Friday. I'm hoping to get a reply
[Tracey:] Mind you, we won't be going up into, up into to thing until later.... Will we?
[Linda:] Yes, but I want to send it from town. You know, er, we finish work go into the post office and get the... reply stamp from there and stamp it and... post it
[Tracey:] Mm mm.
[Linda:] and it goes from town then.... Quicker!
[Tracey:] Mhm.
[Linda:] Cos it'll go into the sorting office and straight
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] But then again, I suppose I could do it... without the though.
[Tracey:] Yeah, well you could but... mind you, you'll have to do it anyway. Mind you, you could leave it till Monday, next Monday and post it.
[Linda:] No I want to get it off as soon as I can. Don't forget it's in April. And then not long it's not long till April, then we've gotta... gotta get visas and everything. Work permits.
[Tracey:] Mm mm.
[Linda:] And erm... green card.
[Tracey:] Green card. The backing.
[Linda:] The backing. Mhm.
[Tracey:] The packing.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] The packing, the backing []! The persuading!
[Tracey:] The wardrobe. We gotta
[Linda:] Wardrobe.
[Tracey:] have new wardrobes.
[Linda:] We'll want a complete new wardrobe.... By the time we get there it should... should be warmed up in April.
[Tracey:] Oh I hope so. It's freezing over here!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] Mm mm.
[Linda:] So we
[Tracey:] Got to get the connection.
[Linda:] Make er, we'll have to make a list out. And then we've gotta get phone numbers. The
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] international dialling codes.
[Tracey:] But first you've got to get permission.
[Linda:] Permission?
[Tracey:] Permission.
[Linda:] Oh! So we'll have to write to erm... we'll have to write to the erm
[Tracey:] Yeah, I know where you can write to, yeah.
[Linda:] Yeah. Gotta get permission from there and then... passports. [LAUGHTER] That's the important part []!
[Tracey:] Passports, visas and... and all this lot.
[Linda:] Yeah. And erm... I've got to have my hair done.
[Tracey:] Your face done! With a bit of plastic surgery here and there this you know!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]... Plastic surgery.
[Tracey:] Don't need plastic surgery.
[Linda:] I'm a perfectly beautiful... plastic surgery... is not needed.
[Tracey:] But in your case it's well needed.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []! Oh!
[Tracey:] Tt. Oh! But first, we've got to finish work.
[Linda:] Mhm.... It really gave, gives erm... jabber jaws something to talk about wouldn't it? Jaws three!
[Tracey:] Well it could give her something to talk about but... she'll be more worried office experience and how old she is, and all this lot!
[Linda:] [yawn]
[Tracey:] Ah! There's something very, very important that you forgot to say.
[Linda:] What?
[Tracey:] And you got your hair done, and you got wardrobe and then you got all this lot and that... there's one other thing.
[Linda:] What?
[Tracey:] You've got to get one... very special [LAUGHTER] on your side [].
[Linda:] I said that! Make arrangements, and get people on your side. Well you said that.
[Tracey:] Oh yeah! And I thought of something else as well.
[Linda:] And besides, if it's all rigged like they say you do... it'll already be arranged for us.... Music! We need the music. Ah! No wait.
[Tracey:] Well sort that out, later.
[Linda:] Mm.
[Tracey:] The jewellery. I want jewellery!
[Linda:] I would think of erm... having er... pearl necklace. So that I can take it off and if she gets in my way you can smack her with it!
[Tracey:] Oh no! Diamonds. A thick diamond will do that better. Cos you see it cuts.
[Linda:] Mm mm.
[Tracey:] And she needs her face rearranging.
[Linda:] She needs everything rearranging.
[Tracey:] Well mind you, what you could really do is just erm, sort of erm... have a hammer... necklace.
[Linda:] Hammer?
[Tracey:] Hammer necklace. Say it's, new fashion jewellery and every time she gets out of hand just bash her one!
[Linda:] Mm mm! [LAUGHTER] That's an idea []!
[Tracey:] Yeah, well I'm brainy. I come up with all these ideas!
[Linda:] There's something else we have to arrange.
[Tracey:] What?
[Linda:] Where to stay.
[Tracey:] Well
[Linda:] If you're thinking what I'm thinking you better think again!
[Tracey:] Alright, I'll think again.
[Linda:] We'll have to stay in an hotel.
[Tracey:] Of course you could stay in an hotel!
[Linda:] Oh! Now which one can we stay in? So many to choose from!
[Tracey:] Yeah but it's, is, you don't know where you're going first.
[Linda:] Hilton.
[Tracey:] Er yeah bu Hilton, yeah! But where is the Hilton? You know, I'm not sort of er
[Linda:] And we've never to so we don't know.
[Tracey:] No.
[Linda:] Ah! It's Hollywood. It would be expensive over there, Hollywood!
[Tracey:] Well I don't really want to go to Hollywood.
[Linda:] Yo well you'll have to if that's, if you're touring.
[Tracey:] Yeah. Maybe.
[Linda:] And don't forget
[Tracey:] Mind you, there's people you'd miss over here.
[Linda:] Yeah. Family.
[Tracey:] Friends.
[Linda:] What friends?
[Tracey:] Tell you there's one... person I wouldn't miss.
[Linda:] Who's that then?
[Tracey:] Jane.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] I don't think Jane'd miss Jane []!
[Tracey:] I don't think Jane can... see Jane.
[Linda:] So... we're really going to do it then? We're really going to take
[Tracey:] If
[Linda:] the plunge?
[Tracey:] Probably, yeah.
[Linda:] If we get accepted.
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] Be exciting!
[Tracey:] Very!
[Linda:] And think of all the publicity.
[Tracey:] Mm mm!
[Linda:] Getting recognised in the street!
[Tracey:] Er probably.
[Linda:] The big welcome home we'd get if we came over here.... Especially if we came to Sheffield. If we were there.
[Tracey:] Yeah!
[Linda:] Home, a sort of... home ground as it were.
[Tracey:] Mm mm.
[Linda:] We'd be Bryan Adams. The attendants! [LAUGHTER]... Nobody could be Bryan Adams! But Bryan Adams could.
[Tracey:] Well... oh yeah!
[Linda:] Mm.
[Tracey:] So... but there's one thing... ambition... and it's to smash that silly cow in the face!
[Linda:] B I C T... I will personally do
[Tracey:] Well le ge well why don't we just use... both fists? We could... sort her out together. But you're forgetting one thing.
[Linda:] Double
[Tracey:] You're forgetting one thing.
[Linda:] What?
[Tracey:] She wants what I wanted. Please! Don't ever tell anybody you fancy... [break in recording] Like I was saying, don't ever... say you liked him! If you tell anybody
[Linda:] Well you did once.
[Tracey:] if you tell anybody... I will deny you are my sister! I will deny everything!
[Linda:] Deny everything. But it's true, I did like him. But... honestly... don't know what you see in him.
[Tracey:] Dunno what anybody can see in him! He is awful! I noticed that when the [LAUGHTER] camera
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] got onto him []! You know that he is, you know what they say cameras pick up... things.
[Linda:] I've been on camera.
[Tracey:] I'm going to be on camera.
[Linda:] I've been on camera and it is nerve-wracking! Even if it was in front of the school... it was nerve-wracking. Cos I made
[Tracey:] There's one thing I don't like... and that's having my photo taken. And it will be hard when we have to photos
[Linda:] Photo sessions! And just think of all those cra cameras!
[Tracey:] I know. I always crack the mirrors I look in!
[Linda:] And all them people saying ah! She's beautiful! But she's not. Well I mean but
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] In her own way []!
[Linda:] Well... put it this way
[Tracey:] Go on then.
[Linda:] a dog's better looking than she is so... you're in with a chance!
[Tracey:] Well she's just called Sherry. And don't forget, our dog used to be called Sherry!
[Linda:] That's another thing I'm gonna get her on!
[Tracey:] Mm. Oh! We had a dog once called Sherry! Mm. Yeah, as long as I look like her.
[Linda:] Ah don't!
[Tracey:] But she was better looking than you!
[Linda:] Ah don't!
[Tracey:] [clears throat]
[Linda:] I like Sherry!
[Tracey:] I have just insulted... of the dog world.
[Linda:] Yes you have.
[Tracey:] I apologize.
[Linda:] Thank you very much.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] Why are you accepted []?
[Linda:] Don't forget, our brothers are dogs!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] And er
[Tracey:] [clears throat]
[Linda:] we've got a... little dog.
[Tracey:] A little pooch.
[Linda:] Little pooch!
[Tracey:] He's so cute!
[Linda:] Ah! Sleepy.... So... [sighing] Yeah []. So you got
[Tracey:] I think, I think maybe I would refuse to go, if I go in front of a T V camera. Especially if we were doing an interview. Ah! And don't forget the talk shows we'd be on! Ah no!... Do you think we could... do you think we could forget about this plan of ours... for stardom? I know I'd, I know I would freeze.
[Linda:] I'm not doing it for stardom.
[Tracey:] We could make movies!
[Linda:] No thank you.
[Tracey:] You're right though... that's when I would freeze.... Starring role with Tom short Cruise.
[Linda:] Bloody hell!
[Tracey:] No way! He's too horrible.
[Linda:] Mind you... co could be even worser
[Tracey:] What could be even worse?
[Linda:] Acting with Tom Cruise.
[Tracey:] What could be even worse than that?
[Linda:] Acting with Dolf Lundgren!
[Tracey:] Oh! Gees!
[Linda:] Sylvester Stallone?
[Tracey:] You're getting worser!
[Linda:] Arnold Schwarzanegger?
[Tracey:] Ooh! No.
[Linda:] ? Or, Macauley Calkin?
[Tracey:] Now I wouldn't mind that. Macauley Calkin.
[Linda:] He'd teach you a few tricks!
[Tracey:] Yeah. I could boss him around because he's only young!
[Linda:] You could boss him around.
[Tracey:] [humming] Yes. But I don't think I'm big.
[Linda:] Mm mm. [LAUGHTER] Look in the mirror?
[Tracey:] Oh very funny!... Well... if you think that then... you go on your own! Wherever you want!
[Linda:] Oh no! Don't want to do it on my own.
[Tracey:] Well just leave me and stop ma teasing me then!
[Linda:] I'll stop teasing you.
[Tracey:] Promise?
[Linda:] Promise.
[Tracey:] Really, really promise?
[Linda:] Really, really promise.
[Tracey:] Oh! Alright then.... Cor! I sound like the cheese advert don't I? Oh! Alright then!
[Linda:] There's one difference in the... you won't be kissing erm
[Tracey:] Veroni Veronica Dribblethwaite!
[Linda:] Or her! [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Do you know, you know when we're talking about... moving to America and
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] be in films, well I'm very nervous, we haven't, we haven't even been accepted yet.
[Tracey:] America, yes. Canada. I wanna try... white water rapids.
[Linda:] Ah! You don't?
[Tracey:] I do!
[Linda:] I don't know why.
[Tracey:] It looks interesting.
[Linda:] It may sound interesting but... it's very dangerous. Don't forget there's all those rocks... and the water is cold.
[Tracey:] Alright then, I'll send Sherry down there.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]... I'd rather throw her off the Empire State Building!
[Tracey:] One better... take her parachute jumping and forgo forget to give her the parachute.
[Linda:] That's even better.
[Tracey:] Mind you... you don't want the ground splattered with... horrible things like that though.
[Linda:] No.
[Tracey:] So that... sleep on it.
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Tracey:] Well I'm gonna think about what I'm gonna put in that letter.
[Linda:] Mm.
[Tracey:] I think it could do with changing.
[Linda:] Mind you... my new wardrobe would be... bright colours.
[Tracey:] So would mine.
[Linda:] And not dull colours.
[Tracey:] No, not dull.
[Linda:] Not brown horrible shirts!
[Tracey:] I think I might change my hair colour as well every week!
[Linda:] Oh no!
[Tracey:] Not dyed, wigs. You know, one week go out with red... the next week go out with... pink, pink, bright pink... or even... blonde.
[Linda:] Don't you dare!
[Tracey:] No I won't. [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] You can go out with any other colour hairstyle, any other colour hair you want, but don't you dare go out with blonde!
[Tracey:] No. I won't go out with blonde.
[Linda:] Cos everybody'd be thinking you were me.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Mind you, does it matter? Everybody says we're the same anyway!
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] Well... I'll erm... think about it. I'll tell you what... after we've sorted her out... we'll sort it out. Him! Who thinks he's erm
[Tracey:] It! The right word for him!
[Linda:] Oh I hate that name anyway. It'd be a daft name to live with anyway for the rest of your life!
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] Now, who'd want to be called... Ellen?
[Tracey:] Ellen?
[Linda:] Yeah. Sounds like lemon! Shortened!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] But
[Tracey:] Urgh!
[Linda:] No way!... Well there's one really name I'd like to be called... and no, it's not, it doesn't begin with A.
[Tracey:] I wasn't gonna say
[Linda:] A.
[Tracey:] A a [LAUGHTER] Er I won't say it [].
[Linda:] Mm. Better not do!
[Tracey:] I won't say it.
[Linda:] Right.
[Tracey:] I know I would get a bit excited if... if I was on T V.
[Linda:] Lyndsey.
[Tracey:] Lyndsey. Especially Lyndsey.
[Linda:] James and James. D'ya know for kids, they're the only kids that can show, that can make me go bright red!
[Tracey:] Yeah. I know what Lyndsey had wanted to do. Autograph... of a favourite record.
[Linda:] I wouldn't be meeting the wrestlers though. You might be meeting er, the wrestlers... but I won't.
[Tracey:] Why, what will you be doing?
[Linda:] Oh I'll think of something! Something cheery and nice.
[Tracey:] Well if you're on the same bill as him, well... could always just ask him.... Or even take her over.
[Linda:] No, ask her over.
[Tracey:] No. Oh no because she'd... tell everybody you were... used to be in... with... prat face, prat face! I don't think I can do that.... Do that sheet properly at work.
[Linda:] What sheet?
[Tracey:] That what she gave us to do.
[Linda:] Oh you mean on the erm
[Tracey:] Background.
[Linda:] background. We are making
[Tracey:] Yes. That one.
[Linda:] I'm dreading this term when that... assessor
[Tracey:] Assessor.
[Linda:] comes in!
[Tracey:] You're not the only one!
[Linda:] She scared me witless when she said that on Thursday about... coming in
[Tracey:] Assessor.
[Linda:] but he, no one 's expecting him and....
[Tracey:] Yeah but he does,sh you don't. You get told in advance.
[Linda:] That's alright then.
[Tracey:] Didn't you hear her on Friday when she talked to us?
[Linda:] When... oh yeah! Yeah I remember that.
[Tracey:] What she says was... is erm
[Linda:] I think I'll try to do... put some more to this letter.
[Tracey:] What she said was... last time the assessor came in
[Linda:] Mm.
[Tracey:] they thought he only wanted to see two people.
[Linda:] He's gonna change his mind and
[Tracey:] No.
[Linda:] Three.
[Tracey:] What, what they thought is that... all the ones that
[Linda:] He tells, he tells us tha that he's going to see two
[Tracey:] No!
[Linda:] but when he gets
[Tracey:] It's not like that, no! What they thought is because he's assessing them and she's, they're assessing us while he's assessing them. If you know what I mean?
[Linda:] Alright!
[Tracey:] Now, they thought it was only gonna be two because there's only two assessing people, right?
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Tracey:] But it turned out to be three and she was put in this... an awkward position and she doesn't know what to do, the poor girl who got picked!
[Linda:] Mm.
[Tracey:] They a they'll have the other two, they got told in advance... but this one, she never.... And... that's all that happened. But she says you do,sh that you do get told. But I'm taking no exam!... The R S A One exam!
[Linda:] Oh I know!
[Tracey:] Oh!
[Linda:] Mind you... if you say it's doing,yo er, started erm... writing to somebody you really like... and you've gotta get it perfect.
[Tracey:] Mm. Well that'll be... that'll, that will really be hard won't it? [clears throat]
[Linda:] Why?
[Tracey:] I don't know.
[Linda:] Did she say you can use a dictionary?
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]... Well that'll be da that's daft in your case!
[Tracey:] Why is it?
[Linda:] Cos you ask me how to spell them!
[Tracey:] Only because I can't be bothered to... look in the dictionary sometimes.
[Linda:] Ho! No?... How long have we got till July? February, March, April, May, June, July.
[Tracey:] Not long!
[Linda:] Six months till July.
[Tracey:] Well it isn't long when you're... in the old....
[Linda:] That's five now. Well I'm not counting this month. But it is really six though int it? Cos it's the beginning of the month.
[Tracey:] Oh!... Seems like a lifetime! Doesn't it?
[Linda:] Seems it, but it's not.
[Tracey:] Half a year.... I'll tell you what I'm gonna get
[Linda:] What?
[Tracey:] that leather outfit.
[Linda:] Mm. It is nice.
[Tracey:] [clears throat]
[Linda:] No leave it. I don't... you know I might get one myself. And I want outfits... to have the skirts and the jackets.
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] Mind you, I don't like the top that goes with it. You know, what she were wearing in the book?
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] Don't like that.
[Tracey:] Yeah. It was gi the wrong kind of top. But the skirt and the jacket were alright.
[Linda:] Yeah.... But I don't li like leather.
[Tracey:] No. It looks awful white!
[Linda:] Now black.
[Tracey:] Yeah, but not white.
[Linda:] I think you look weird in whi white leather, people!... What you doing?
[Tracey:] Looking for a word.
[Linda:] What kind of word?
[Tracey:] One that I thought wrong but I think I've got it right.
[Linda:] Replied?
[Tracey:] Mhm.
[Linda:] Doesn't... Mm, I've forgotten how to spell it now!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]... [spelling] R E P L Y [].
[Linda:] [spelling] I E D [].
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] I think. Is it? [spelling] I E D []?
[Tracey:] Correct. Oh I did leave my I out.
[Linda:] Yes!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]... Sorry! [clears throat] [humming]... [clears throat]
[Linda:] Do you wear high heels or flat shoes?
[Tracey:] Fairly high.
[Linda:] How big is... fairly high?
[Tracey:] Two inches? Three?
[Linda:] Three's too high for me.
[Tracey:] Or, two and a half....
[Linda:] Well it ain't bad though.
[Tracey:] Well there's only two mistakes in it Linda.
[Linda:] Yeah but I haven't really looked at it properly, so
[Tracey:] No. The mistakes are there in the words
[Linda:] Well when I, when I re-do it... I'll write it out as I type it... and I'll... let you see it.
[Tracey:] Okay.
[Linda:] First.
[Tracey:] Can I see the other one? That you won't let me see!
[Linda:] No!
[Tracey:] Why not!
[Linda:] I said not!
[Tracey:] Great! So if I wrote a letter... and wouldn't let you see it, how would you feel?
[Linda:] I wouldn't feel anything cos I'm not really bothered!
[Tracey:] What if it's about you as well?
[Linda:] Well if you write something about me... you write something about me!
[Tracey:] And if I don't let you see it, I'm dead?
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Tracey:] You're clever! Very, very clever! Well you think you are!
[Linda:] Well, if you think, you think!
[Tracey:] Do you know that's? Is it?
[Linda:] Well... I've not too bothered... if you found everything.
[Tracey:] No.
[Linda:] Who? As long as you got on well.
[Tracey:] Really get into rather than I wouldn't take all that much notice of it. Would you?
[Linda:] No. It's funny, in a bit, in a way.
[Tracey:] Yeah. Yo... yo... it was sort of like... he got... he got hit on the... got run over
[Linda:] Knocked down.
[Tracey:] Oh!
[Linda:] Didn't get run over.
[Tracey:] Run over, he actually went down though. So... do you still want? He's, he's dead! You di you didn't really expect him er... the way they... did it, it wasn't like... well you didn't believe he was an angel did you? Really? Until the end.
[Linda:] I didn't think he was anyway! [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] No I didn't.
[Linda:] Until the end.
[Tracey:] That's what got me.
[Linda:] Mind you... the title was a bit funny because it didn't... Almost an Angel... but... if he died and he went to heaven, then he must have been an angel but came back down, he's still an angel.
[Tracey:] Yeah, but an angel on probation, don't forget.
[Linda:] Oh the funniest part about it was when he... set these people's thing. round and round without knowing.
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] With his sha electric shaver.
[Tracey:] Oh! Was it his electric shaver?
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Tracey:] Mm.
[Linda:] But with no battery.
[Tracey:] I don't know.... I suppose that it was filmed where it was so that she'll be in it.
[Linda:] Probably.
[Tracey:] She's his wife int she?
[Linda:] Mm mm.... Mind you... Don Johnson and Melanie Griffi Griffith are alright, are man and wife... but they're not in every... film together are they?
[Tracey:] No.
[Linda:] Mind you, Tom Cruise is.
[Tracey:] Yeah. I know he's married his... wife's supposed to be in all his films int she?
[Linda:] She can't act!
[Tracey:] I know.
[Linda:] She cannot act!
[Tracey:] I don't think marrying the husband's gonna do much good.
[Linda:] Mm.... I'd like to hear her voice though, she's supposed to be speaking Iri Irish but I'd like to hear her voice. Australian, American, [LAUGHTER] Irish accent []!
[Tracey:] Yeah. Bit of everything.
[Linda:] Mind you, we can't act either.
[Tracey:] No.
[Linda:] Now... the best film I've ever seen him in... is when he gets killed at the end!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Or, even better... at the beginning!
[Tracey:] The beginning's much better!
[Linda:] Mm. [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] We can hardly speak.
[Linda:] No. Can't help.... Mind you, his movie career is going downhill a bit.
[Tracey:] Yeah.... He's Born on the Fourth of July.
[Linda:] Started going down.
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] Well, anybody could see that the stupid... bu er the way they've... he was made up to look like a forty year old and he still looked like a twenty year old!
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] And nobody can imagine him like that in... twenty years time.... Was Born on the Fourth of July after... Top Gun?
[Tracey:] I don't know.
[Linda:] Or was it after Cocktail?
[Tracey:] I think it was after Cocktail.
[Linda:] No, it were before!
[Tracey:] It weren't, it was after!... It were after.
[Linda:] Now Cocktail would have been a, been a bit dull if he hadn't have been in it!
[Tracey:] Yep.
[Linda:] Still like it when she's in [LAUGHTER] Babysitting []. That's a good film.... Mind you... don't mind going i in the mornings to work but... in the middle of the day
[Tracey:] No. Don't think you
[Linda:] No, but if you go in the middle you've got a chance to wake up.
[Tracey:] Well I prefer to be in the mornings so
[Linda:] You have to get early don't you?
[Tracey:] Well you do anyway so it don't really matter.
[Linda:] But you've got some time to wake up haven't you?
[Tracey:] Proba yeah but... well we haven't got all that long to go now.
[Linda:] November.... Mm. Never know, you might have a full time job by then.
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] No but
[Tracey:] We might even be... in America before then.
[Linda:] Well maybe, if only! But, next year will be fine. It'll be alright by me.
[Tracey:] And when would you like to make debut then?
[Linda:] Oh! Next year probably.
[Tracey:] What about this year?... While the fuel's still hot.
[Linda:] Probably this year.
[Tracey:] Because I am... I am beginning to think maybe they could be... be erm... game feature of the....
[Linda:] I hope I'll... I'll wait... this year.
[Tracey:] I hope summat ha happens here.
[Linda:] It'll be great timing!
[Tracey:] But Wrestle Mania's the biggest one here.
[Linda:] Hulk.
[Tracey:] I bet he would.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] I bet he's [].... How about... four months?... Or... when everything's settled.
[Tracey:] No. Better get in while it's hot.
[Linda:] Yes, but you've gotta wait for your visas and all that lot, remember, like you said.
[Tracey:] Yeah I know.
[Linda:] And there's another thing... one tiny, tiny thing you forgot... with all your plans.
[Tracey:] What's that?
[Linda:] How are we gonna get you up in the air?
[Tracey:] Easy. Put me in an aeroplane!
[Linda:] Yes!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Alright then. Your fear of flying... is over! Right?
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] But I am still going to sit right at the back of the aeroplane away from you!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Linda:] And I still remember what you did to me in the car.
[Tracey:] I won't be air sick!
[Linda:] I can still remember what you did to me in the car.
[Tracey:] It wasn't my fault, had a big breakfast.
[Linda:] Well if you we... if you knew you were gonna be sick you could have made it a bit more... a different colour than that!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Urgh! Urgh!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] What's wrong with fiery red []?
[Linda:] Thank heavens it didn't go on my purple top!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Ah dear.
[Tracey:] I do like eggs and bacon for breakfast!
[Linda:] Urgh!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Did you have to mention... meat! Ooh!
[Tracey:] There's nothing wrong with bacon. If you happen to like bacon.
[Linda:] Well I don't.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]... Oh I'll not talk about meat!
[Linda:] Thank you.
[Tracey:] Talk about Sherry instead.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] But I mean
[Linda:] Let's talk about meat!... Come here!
[Tracey:] What for?
[Linda:] Aren't you funny? You're very, very funny!
[Tracey:] Very, very [LAUGHTER] funny []!
[Linda:] You're very ugly!
[Tracey:] What were you saying?... Or what you don't say?
[Linda:] Dunno. I dunno, I forgot.
[Tracey:] Come on! What were you gonna say?
[Linda:] What?... Supposing we was over there in America for... the beginning of July... I couldn't go.
[Tracey:] Why?... Oh Linda!
[Linda:] Mind you, I suppose
[Tracey:] There's plenty of concerts to go to.
[Linda:] Yeah, but this' ll be my first concert.
[Tracey:] So!... Go and see in concert..... Guns and Roses. [LAUGHTER] Guns and Roses I'm sorry []! I know you can't stand Guns and Roses. Neither can I.
[Linda:] I'd go and see a Guns and Roses concert.
[Tracey:] I wouldn't.
[Linda:] And take some concrete with me.
[Tracey:] I wouldn't.
[Linda:] And do them a nice pair of shoes... to walk in.... No. Can't be so mean to... animals can you?
[Tracey:] No.
[Linda:] Yeah but... none of them... none of them... have had a brilliant album out.
[Tracey:] Go for Bryan Adams or
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Tracey:] You can get to go see Bryan Adams in concert.
[Linda:] June. I'll go over in June.... Besides, I want my exams done first.
[Tracey:] Oh we'll have them before won't we?
[Linda:] Are you quite sure about that?
[Tracey:] Nope! [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] Well then []!... Monday, third of February
[Tracey:] Martin's birthday.
[Linda:] And you're not over there to say, hello!
[Tracey:] No.... I'm sure there's plenty of others.
[Linda:] Mm?
[Tracey:] Plenty of others.
[Linda:] Suppose so.... But this... is, is a special birthday.
[Tracey:] Just cos he's reaching thirty.
[Linda:] Ah!... And he'll be twenty two in May. Nineteen seventy five.
[Tracey:] Twenty five, that sounded right, [LAUGHTER] seventy five []!
[Linda:] Well he looks seventy five!
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []!... We'll be twenty four.
[Linda:] And I'll be twenty one!
[Tracey:] In your dreams! Seventy one more like!
[Linda:] Ah funny!
[Tracey:] Yeah. Sorry! You're only a baby!
[Linda:] Get stuffed!... Put it this way... if I'm only baby, how come... people younger than me... have already got a family?
[Tracey:] I know.
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Tracey:] You've gotta put that down to it.
[Linda:] I was your baby at twenty one.
[Tracey:] Yeah.
[Linda:] Well stop calling me a baby! Just because I'm... youngest.... Not talking to you any more!
[Tracey:] Are you not?
[Linda:] Just don't feel like it now!
[Tracey:] Don't talk to me any more then!
[Linda:] The only time you can talk to me, you can, when we've got the tickets and we're going.... Oh! And erm... Eh! That's an idea! If I do my exam well before you
[Tracey:] You can tell me what [LAUGHTER] to expect [].
[Linda:] No. I could change my hairstyle
[Tracey:] And yeah! You can go in as me!
[Linda:] I could!
[Tracey:] Yeah. You could do it for me!
[Linda:] But I'm not cheating.
[Tracey:] I think they'll know the difference though.
[Linda:] How do you know?
[Tracey:] You're shorter [LAUGHTER] than me []!
[Linda:] Not all that short!
[Tracey:] Nice int it? Thickest and sho and short.
[Linda:] I'll tell you who wouldn't call me short?
[Tracey:] Who?
[Linda:] A dwarf!
[Tracey:] Ah!
[Linda:] I know.... Tom Cruise.
[Tracey:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] I'm about six feet ta taller than he is!... I'll let you get back with your letter.... Oh! There's something else. [LAUGHTER]... Poor thing! Me. Softy!... Who's this boxing match against anyway?
[Ivy:] Sorry?
[Linda:] Who's this boxing match against? Who? Mam, they're both coloured!
[Ivy:] This guy here.
[Linda:] Him in the red trunks?
[Ivy:] Mm.
[Linda:] Oh!
[Ivy:] He's that and he's run up and down.
[Linda:] These ref referees erm, fighters have funny names don't they?... Do you know what Tracey wanted me earlier for?... She was writing, she wanted me to look at it.
[Ivy:] Oh!... I dunno. Wrestle Mania?
[Linda:] No!
[Ivy:] There's a bad hinge on there!
[Linda:] Which one's Lennox Lewis?
[Dave:] Which one's Lennox? That one.
[David:] Wearing black. That one.
[Dave:] In the black.
[Linda:] Oh!... I thought you meant something else then. What's a slipstream?... Dad?
[Ivy:] Get down!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER] That's a slipstream []! [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] Hey dad! What about that other on holiday jumping?
[Ivy:] Watch this!
[Dave:] [LAUGHTER]
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]... I bet that was seafood. ... Nothing?
[Tracey:] I don't where I've put the thing.
[Linda:] What you looking for?
[Tracey:] My pen.
[Linda:] Which one?
[Tracey:] My white one.
[Linda:] You had it
[Tracey:] .
[Linda:] There it is, on the table behind the red folder. Up to get changed.
[Tracey:] Yeah.... Oh! Pocket's all wet!
[Linda:] Mm?
[Tracey:] Pocket's all wet!
[Linda:] and dry it.
[Tracey:] The inside's dry! You know what I mean? Well that's er dry but... oh it doesn't matter. I'll put these on.
[Linda:] Prefer my own jeans.... Now what you doing?... Eh?
[Tracey:] I have to push it out.
[Linda:] Well, before you get carried away remember there's lots to do!... At least I get tha get out of them.... Anything, interesting been on?
[Tracey:] No. Oh! Shit!... Don't start!
[Linda:] [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] I'm not starting []! Just laughing!
[Tracey:] You will do when we get to come
[Linda:] Erm
[Tracey:] when we're.
[Linda:] Yeah! Yeah! Yes. Carry on. I'm going!
[Tracey:] your mind again.
[Linda:] What?
[Tracey:] You've changed your mind?
[Linda:] Yes, I've changed my mind about that.
[Tracey:] Well if you er, change it
[Linda:] But put it this way
[Tracey:] Oh yes! We could win a trip to the Grammy's in New York. We could... we could erm... rub shoulders with erm... Amy Grant... could spend the evening with her then.
[Linda:] You... you liar!
[Tracey:] He did.
[Linda:] You liar!
[Tracey:] Honest!
[Linda:] You liar!
[Tracey:] And then it said, and you, you might get to see Prince with his erm.......
[Linda:] I'd rather see our dog kill our Brian! Well, not kill our Brian... sort of
[Tracey:] You did. You did Brian, I sa... honest.
[Linda:] But I'd rather be there.... Never visit the se er, awards like that is he?
[Tracey:] He goes... and he goes if you live in New York we'll take you to the erm... he said then we'll... we'll let you fly around... the city [LAUGHTER] for a while []!
[Linda:] Yes, but then the trouble
[Tracey:] Didn't mean it like!
[Linda:] You didn't mean it? Are you joking?
[Tracey:] No I'm not! The erm, thing about the erm
[Linda:] The trip, but the er... flight?
[Tracey:] About the flight... round er New York, I was only joking.... Oh I'm.
[Linda:] He's so nice!
[Tracey:] Nice face.
[Linda:] Yeah.
[Tracey:] Yeah. Nice face.
[Linda:] Which way round?
[Tracey:] I don't know. It's your.
[Linda:] Did you see anything in here?
[Tracey:] Yes, you showed me everything in there.
[Linda:] ... No, Tracey, show me.
[Tracey:] I'm gonna get a proper conditioner for my hair cos it don't... look!... How can you make sha conditioner?
[Linda:] Have you really chickened out?
[Tracey:] Definitely chickened out! Look at that time my dad did that lady over there and left me on the phone and told me to stay there... and I was like that. And
[Linda:] Yeah, but what about me?
[Tracey:] Mind you, I've had more erm... appeara more erm
[Linda:] You've had more experience of erm, cameras than I have.
[Tracey:] Why?
[Linda:] Just because I've been in front of a camcorder! I wouldn't say I've had experience in... movies.... That's the trouble with though... she didn't stop every time to get ready for the next scene. All she did was... say carry on as normal.
[Tracey:] No, he did that.... Ah! I suppose if you get, when you get there... everything'll be alright. But... it was your idea of erm... entrances that got me a bit scared.
[Linda:] From the top more... from the top.
[Tracey:] Top.
[Linda:] Yeah, but just sa say, if you come from th the top you, you're like a... a waist thing round you and if you fall off that'll catch you.... So what do you think?
[Tracey:] About the entrance? Can I have a?
[Linda:] You could come down on the the first half and I can jump... and that's like... Wrestle Mania.
[Tracey:] Mm. Mm.
[Linda:] But our feet will come down like that.... Put it this way Trace... I am more petrified than... about this than you are.
[Tracey:] That would be a nightmare!
[Linda:] Will it?
[Tracey:] Rod Stewart on the... ooh!