[Matt:] Right
[speaker002:] So that's okay, okay so that's, that's off now
[Matt:] Great
[speaker002:] That's forty five minutes, now these books, the white ones are for the tapes one to ten
[Matt:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] and the blue is from tape eleven to twenty
[Matt:] Right
[speaker002:] It's a, it's a log, which is quite important if you can try and remember to fill it in
[Matt:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] and it gives you an example, okay and it tells you to write what the situation is, so it'll be at home with the children watching television
[Matt:] Right
[speaker002:] strange woman talking to me or whatever you know
[Matt:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah
[speaker002:] and then what the names are that you're likely to refer to
[Matt:] Yeah
[speaker002:] on the tape okay, so if you're still doing that in the next forty five minutes it will be just as above or whatever
[Matt:] Right
[speaker002:] you don't have to repeat it all the time
[Matt:] Right
[speaker002:] but after about every three tapes it does actually tell you on the log, to change the batteries
[Matt:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] okay there change the batteries
[Matt:] Right
[speaker002:] You've got fourteen batteries
[Matt:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] erm which should be, you know, enough, but again if there's a problem then my phone number is on your collection card which is there and I'll come out and re-stock you as it were
[Matt:] Right-o
[speaker002:] so just leave it going, you, but you understand why the survey's being done?
[Matt:] Yeah
[speaker002:] To get this sort of and if you can talk as much as you can with your lovely
[Matt:] yeah, oh
[speaker002:] accent, it doesn't matter how much swearing there is it doesn't matter
[Matt:] Well I do, I throw erm, I throw some
[speaker002:] Shall I take that?
[Matt:] some old, yeah, old pleasures and
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] from all the time
[speaker002:] Well that'll make them sit up and think that's for sure
[Matt:] Sometimes I go and heed the ball
[speaker002:] Do what?
[Matt:] Heed the ball
[speaker002:] What does that mean?
[Matt:] Head the ball
[speaker002:] Head the ball
[Matt:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Oh right, when you're playing football
[Matt:] Well no I just, it's, it's a term of endearment in Scotland
[speaker002:] Is it?
[Matt:] Yeah
[speaker002:] I wonder where that comes from? That's the sort of thing I want, yeah, yeah, well I put on the form that we've got a true Scot because that'll be
[Matt:] Right
[speaker002:] good news, erm, that's interesting, I mean we have expressions, I mean I come from Yorkshire
[Matt:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] but the, they're just derivatives of words like twout
[Matt:] Yeah
[speaker002:] which means the other or to go out
[Matt:] Yeah yeah
[speaker002:] can mean either
[Matt:] twout yeah
[speaker002:] and twere which is just we were
[Matt:] Oh aye, aye
[speaker002:] you know, but they're not as good as those ones no those are superb, right okay I think I took my clipboard back with me didn't I?
[Matt:] Whereabout in Yorkshire actually is it you're from?
[speaker002:] I actually come from the Dales from Middleham which is near Leyburn which is near Catterick
[Matt:] I know Leyburn, I know Leyburn very well indeed
[speaker002:] Do you?
[Matt:] Yeah
[Christopher:] I was born in Catterick
[Matt:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Were you?
[Matt:] Mm, yeah, my son was
[speaker002:] Were you in the army?
[Matt:] We were in Catterick for two years
[speaker002:] Oh well, well you know Middleham castle, Middleham bridge
[Matt:] Yeah, that's right, yeah
[speaker002:] Oh, I've been down here about twenty years though so it's faded a bit
[Matt:] Yeah, yeah
[speaker002:] but I miss it I must admit
[Matt:] Oh we were in Catterick for two and a half, three years
[speaker002:] Were you?
[Matt:] my wife, that's where I met my wife
[speaker002:] Was it?
[Matt:] and er, she used to be in the four nights in the Queen Alexandra hospital
[speaker002:] Yeah nursing, yeah
[Matt:] and I was there for nigh on two and a half years and er, then we moved from there to Germany
[speaker002:] Oh right, right, well I have a lady actually round the corner who's er in the WRAF and er she's doing it for me, she's just on three week's leave at the moment
[Matt:] Oh right
[speaker002:] She's presumably British Army of the right I don't know
[Matt:] Mm
[speaker002:] I didn't ask her
[Matt:] Yeah
[speaker002:] but, are there a lot of military people around here?
[Matt:] Not as far as I know, no
[speaker002:] No, that's funny I should get two on the same survey
[Matt:] Mm
[speaker002:] Mm, anyway thanks for your help
[Matt:] No problem thanks a lot
[speaker002:] and I'll see you a week on Friday
[Matt:] Definitely
[speaker002:] okay hope you
[Matt:] okay
[speaker002:] feel better cheerio
[Matt:] all the best
[speaker002:] bye bye
[Matt:] say bye bye
[Christopher:] Bye
[Laura:] Bye
[Matt:] cheerio
[speaker002:] Thank you
[Christopher:] You get twenty five quid for one of them
[Matt:] Yeah, that's right boy
[Christopher:] Do you want me to say anything?
[Matt:] No don't you just you leave it alone
[Matthew:] Where? Where?
[Matt:] come away and leave it
[Matthew:] What are they?
[Matt:] it's just recording exactly, everything that you say now
[Matthew:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] It is
[Matthew:] Oh rubbish
[Matt:] It is
[Christopher:] No it ain't
[Matt:] come and have a look
[Matthew:] No it is not
[Matt:] Look, there you go ban pot
[Matthew:] Yeah wowee it isn't recording it
[Matt:] It is recording when
[Matthew:] Oh yeah
[Matt:] Listen, listen to me, when it's finished, instead of putting it in the box we'll put it on that other one and listen to it for a wee while
[Matthew:] Yeah
[Matt:] just to hear yourself speaking from it
[Matthew:] Okay
[Christopher:] I bet, I bet you, erm I won't be in that
[Matt:] You are in it, it's picking
[Christopher:] I'm not
[Matt:] you up at the moment
[Christopher:] Oh rubbish
[Laura:] It is
[Christopher:] rubbish Laura Laura if I get all our then you will be ha ha
[Laura:] Yeah
[Christopher:] What? Laura where's daddy?
[Matt:] Okay then so
[Laura:] Don't bother that
[Matt:] yeah just come down now and have a look
[Laura:] Don't touch that it's sensitive
[Matthew:] Bye...
[Jan:] Why did, they did the two houses as you come up Manor Road
[Matt:] I thought you find this wallet love
[Jan:] It's okay, they're still here
[Matt:] I'm alright, I know, I know
[Christopher:] Mum
[Laura:] Can I read a magazine now please?
[Jan:] Oh that's not running now, is it surely?
[Matt:] It's gonna be on all the time
[Jan:] Get it off
[Matt:] No [LAUGHTER]
[Matthew:] It is mum, it's on there
[Matt:] Just leave the bloody thing on all day, it don't make any difference
[Jan:] No it will if I start shouting
[Matthew:] Ha
[Matt:] Oh shut up
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER]
[Laura:] Can I read the magazine now?
[Matt:] Yes if you want, I need to find this
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] I've looked for that
[Christopher:] mum
[Matt:] I found it under this
[Christopher:] mum, mum, can you buy me some wrestling cards?...
[Matthew:] Mum, I mean dad
[Christopher:] Ask dad to record it
[Laura:] It is...
[Christopher:] Oh my god, I'm gonna get put on tape, oh, oh
[Laura:] Chris
[Jan:] You leave her and the tape alone
[Christopher:] I didn't touched it...
[Matt:] Find it Matt
[Matthew:] Where?
[Matt:] found it, right under your mother's nose
[Laura:] Dad
[Matthew:] What?
[Laura:] daddy
[Matt:] What's that?
[Matthew:] What?
[Matt:] What Laura?
[Laura:] can erm you ask Matt to get me some tomato soup
[Matt:] Matt's not gone anywhere just now
[Christopher:] If I spend a good while looking at it and I can't find anything different can we, maybe we start doing some ringing?
[Matt:] I will see what we're doing tonight
[Christopher:] You out tonight?
[Matt:] No
[Christopher:] oh
[Matt:] cos if I can get that plumbed in tonight before, go
[Matthew:] yes
[Matt:] you can phone M F I now and see if that oven's ready
[Christopher:] Alright
[Laura:] Dad can you record that?
[Matt:] now, that's
[Laura:] dad
[Matt:] if that, when did they say they'd be back?
[Jan:] Who?
[Matt:] That guy
[Jan:] Oh you told me they were coming
[Laura:] Dad
[Jan:] on the second of March
[Matt:] Oh I thought they might be a bit earlier
[Jan:] Well you said what date did they say? I said the second of March
[Matt:] you see he's got to have to do the window ledge
[Jan:] Why?
[Matt:] Well, when they came at first they says, see the way they've got there
[Jan:] Mm
[Matt:] them wee tile things
[Jan:] Mm
[Matt:] he says we could either put it forward because the windows are obviously a lot wider
[Jan:] Mm
[Matt:] or we might have to bring this back a bit
[Jan:] Mm
[Matt:] but he says erm you'll lose some of this here, I couldn't give a shit basically ain't give a
[Jan:] Well these are
[Matt:] er, and that's, there's nothing underneath that, that be...
[Laura:] Dad
[Matt:] waste of money, with that stuff come away from that light
[Matthew:] Dad could we record it?
[Matt:] It's recording
[Matthew:] No take it out, put it on that?
[Matt:] No just leave it alone where it is
[Matthew:] Okay
[Jan:] See as you've found your wallet you can treat us to a chicken
[Matthew:] ya
[Jan:] I'll be cooking while you're
[Matt:] Alright Matt, Matt will you go the chippie?
[Christopher:] Which one? Oh yeah I know...
[Jan:] No what I'll do is
[Matt:] Jesus, look
[Jan:] Alright, alright
[Matt:] pull the bloody page then we know exactly, we won't have to
[speaker002:] ...
[Christopher:] Do you want dad?...
[Jan:] Oh hi, hi there, my name is Mrs I ordered an oven about two weeks ago, I just wanted to know if it's in... er where, where we looking at that? One, one, one, stroke, two, four, one, dash, O, seven, nine, three, one in brackets
[Matt:] Have they said how much the delivery charge is?
[Jan:] That's right... oh right... okay... sorry what?
[Matt:] Is it in?
[Jan:] I don't know, sorry what did you say?
[Matt:] Ask them if they deliver and how much will they charge me?...
[Jan:] Hi... right, okay, erm do you deliver?... No it's okay not to worry, don't worry about it, it's alright, we'll come and pick it up then so if we come any time after sort of tomorrow... brilliant, that's great, thanks every so much for your help, bye. It's, it's in, but any time after ten o'clock tomorrow
[Matt:] how much money did you leave, leave to it?
[Jan:] Erm I left you some money to get your birthday present
[Matt:] How much did you left? How can I keep track on the, the money?
[Jan:] I left you twenty out the erm joint account and that's all really and...
[Matthew:] I'll get it
[Matt:] Leave it
[Jan:] Leave that
[Matt:] leave it. [phonecall starts] ello, correct, Malcolm has, er yeah gone about two minutes mate... in fact wait, is that guy actually gone?
[Matthew:] Yeah
[Matt:] You've, you've missed him by about two bloody minutes basically, oh, okay then mate, no problem, cheers.... Me keep, are you gonna keep the log on this thing?
[Matthew:] Ah get lost
[Matt:] Yeah you keep the log cos the log book's got to be done... Right... so there on the first one it's gotta be Matt and Jan, lazy shit
[Jan:] Have you turned that off?
[Matt:] second lazy shit no leave it on, the... that's what it's for, for Christ sake, they're giving you twenty five quid just telling what you saying, might be private, be happy there
[Laura:] Yeah
[Matt:] right that's enough of that, get it off of there
[speaker002:] ...
[Christopher:] I think we should put it in there
[Matthew:] No because we are putting...
[Christopher:] Yep
[Jan:] will you leave it alone, it isn't a toy
[Christopher:] connect it to a hot water supply then using hot water for washing
[speaker002:] ...
[Christopher:] do you dad?
[Matt:] What? screw that right through, up the top
[speaker002:] ...
[Laura:] Dad
[Matt:] What?
[Laura:] come here
[Matt:] Hold on Laura...
[Laura:] That lady left her gloves
[Matt:] oh dear, she'll get them when she comes back Laura
[Matthew:] Da, dad, dad
[Matt:] What?
[Matthew:] the thing's still running
[Matt:] What?
[Laura:] The Walkman thing's still running
[Matt:] I know it's still running, it'll be running for a long, a long time
[Matthew:] And you want to spend fifty quid more
[Matt:] Than what?
[Matthew:] [reading] Good condition, low mileage M O T, stereo, five, fifty []
[Jan:] You turn the telly off?
[Laura:] Pardon?
[Jan:] You turn the telly off?
[Laura:] Yeah
[Jan:] What for?
[Laura:] It's getting boring...
[Matt:] Ah, leave that
[Matthew:] [reading] Vauxhall Cavalier nineteen seventy seven, one year's M O T, must be seen forty five or nearest offer []
[Matt:] How much?
[Matthew:] Forty five, it's in Hallum
[Matt:] Hallum's too far
[Matthew:] [reading] or Sirocco sixteen, yes, oh Sirocco []
[Matt:] Sirocco
[Matthew:] Yeah, still, I can't read that new reconditioned engine in it [reading] silver, silver, new reconditioning engine, new M O T on purchase, good tyres, good all round condition for the year five hundred and fifty five pound all in []... there's that one or I found [reading] Toyota Caro Carolla, thirteen gear X, X reg, high motor taxed M O T []
[Matt:] how much is that?
[Matthew:] Nine, four, five, well the last one was bad, the last one was bad or unless you want a B reg and that's and the last one is, if I can find it
[Matt:] I'm not selling it
[Matthew:] is [reading] L three hundred road recent engine overhaul, good body and material, six nine five []
[Laura:] When is our dinner?
[Matthew:] or there's the, or there's the
[Jan:] In a little while
[Matthew:] a Capri in the old one, in the other one
[Matt:] I like the sixteen hundred
[Matthew:] yeah the other one
[Laura:] Which chippie is dad getting the grub from?
[Matthew:] Do you want me to read it to you?
[Laura:] Is it Harroway is it mum?
[Matthew:] hang on
[Jan:] Ah?
[Laura:] Is dad getting the food from the chippie in Harroway?
[Jan:] Don't know
[Laura:] Pardon?
[Jan:] Don't know
[Laura:] Dad
[Matt:] What?
[Laura:] Where you getting the chippie from?
[Matt:] Chip shop
[Laura:] Which one?
[Matthew:] The one down by Harroway
[Laura:] Oh
[Matt:] Why Laura?
[Laura:] Cos if you was gonna do the one at King Arthur's I would of had some rice.
[Matthew:] [reading] Ford Capri sixteen hundred, twin head light converted, M O T December
[Christopher:] Dad can you see?
[Matthew:] beige with brown vinyl roof, very good condition three nine five [] or there's this one, [reading] Ford Capri mark three sixteen hundred beige outer work round trim, good condition for year M O T, radio cassette superb bargain, four nine five or nearest offer [] that's all I can find.
[Christopher:] Dad do you need this?
[Matt:] Yes I do, why do you need it for?
[Laura:] they've got three layers of erm wallpaper on
[Jan:] Mm
[Christopher:] I tell you what I'll speak to you when I come back from the chippie yeah... well he can come with me if he's allowed
[Matt:] he's not, he's not going, what I told you about what I say, what I'm saying, eh?
[Christopher:] Sorry
[Matt:] Don't think cos that tape's on you won't get a smack in the ear son I just remember what I tell you, as simple as that
[Matthew:] How do I get the drawer out?
[speaker002:] ...
[Laura:] What paper is that? Oh it's
[speaker002:] ...
[Christopher:] Right I'm going down the chippie can I have some money for the chippie
[Laura:] I'm not having anything, I'm just having soup... and rice
[Christopher:] We're getting an Audi that's a diesel, it's gonna go well fast
[Jan:] Don't build your hopes up on anything will you please and stop being stupid
[Christopher:] I think we're gonna phone them up tonight, can I have some money please to go down the chippie?
[Laura:] And you need some money for the
[speaker002:] ...
[Matt:] I've not got any, I've not got any change, ask your mum
[speaker002:] ...
[Jan:] Well doesn't the whole unit come out?
[Matt:] Yeah, but there's a
[speaker002:] ...
[Matt:] Get out of there
[speaker002:] ...
[Matt:] If I have to tell you once more son you're gonna get a good bloody smacking, come out of there...
[Jan:] Right you want what?
[Matt:] Look, what have I
[Matthew:] that and egg fried rice
[Christopher:] They don't do egg fried rice... what do you want dad?
[speaker002:] ...
[Laura:] Mum
[Jan:] What?
[Laura:] come here
[Jan:] Oh Laura you keep shouting come here, what do you want?
[Laura:] Erm can I have some toast?
[Jan:] What?
[Laura:] Can I have some
[Jan:] I can't hear you
[Laura:] Can I have some toast please?
[Jan:] Some?
[Laura:] Toast
[Jan:] What now?
[Laura:] Yeah
[Jan:] You might just and wait until you get your soup
[Laura:] Mm...
[Christopher:] Scampi and chips yeah, do you want scampi Matt or what? Two portions of scampi...
[Matt:] If you do it again I'm gonna give you a smack boy
[Jan:] Go and sit and watch the television
[Matthew:] No I want to do
[Jan:] What do you want Christopher?
[Christopher:] Nothing
[Matt:] You'll go to bed if you carry on like that son
[Matthew:] I want nothing, they didn't have any baby prawns and then
[Jan:] they haven't got any scampi but he'll have a spring roll no I don't want, will that be
[Matthew:] an egg sandwich?
[Christopher:] Even if they've got scampi shall I get fish
[Jan:] if they haven't got any scampi get an extra fishcake and an extra spring roll...
[Matt:] You can go without I don't care really don't start
[speaker002:] ...
[Christopher:] shall I get it or not? I don't know what to do
[Jan:] Yes get it
[Matt:] eh, me and your mother...
[Christopher:] [singing] Just because you think of, your heart open the door, you around me [] money, money
[Matthew:] So you, I won't eat it all, oh
[Laura:] Put the T V on somebody please now
[Christopher:] What was the
[speaker002:] ...
[Matt:] I thought
[Matthew:] no
[Laura:] turn it down
[Matthew:] wowee... horrible
[Christopher:] I don't care
[Laura:] It doesn't matter if they get a little bit of T V I don't care, Matt turn it down
[Matthew:] I have
[Laura:] Alright, alright
[speaker002:] ...
[Laura:] What?
[Matthew:] No leave it
[Laura:] I can't hear it
[Christopher:] I've got to go now bye
[Matthew:] Be quiet...
[Laura:] Chris Different Strokes is on
[Matthew:] Oh wowee
[Christopher:] I've got to go now bye
[Laura:] Don't forget my soup...
[speaker002:] ...
[Jan:] said to me I've of told you to take half an hour so actually
[Matt:] Come and do that Chris just a quick one
[Jan:] I don't, I really don't blame you it's just, I think she's just well crazy, don't worry about that, hang on that one's working.
[Matt:] Do you know what if we come up tonight cos erm a woman came to the door, a woman came to the door this afternoon and she's given us a Walkman with a microphone on it and we've to tape all the conversations with it
[Matthew:] Oh my god
[Matt:] It's for a new er dictionary they're bringing out about erm English spoken language
[Matthew:] Don't you dare
[Jan:] Ah
[Matt:] Yeah, honestly, oh you don't have to dear just, when we're having, just talk normally, it's running, it's running at the moment
[Matthew:] It is Bob
[Matt:] Well that's okay it's, it doesn't matter if you swear, it's running at the moment, shag bag
[Laura:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] See I've just said something er, they'd be quite happy with that I should think, yeah it's running now
[Matthew:] It is Bob
[Matt:] [LAUGHTER] No honestly, well, well see you later right, cheers, and don't worry about she's just an arse, ain't you, you're just an arse, I'll speak to you later right, I don't know about half past seven, eight o'clock, right here's Jan.
[Matthew:] Dad up there
[Jan:] Listen please don't worry about, I really don't blame you, it's not your fault, honestly... I wouldn't of gone if I'd known...
[Matthew:] not bewitched
[Jan:] If I wasn't suppose to go Sheila, I wouldn't of gone, I wouldn't of deliberately talked you in it
[speaker002:] ...
[Jan:] She's, she's what, Sheila why you upset? Whatever so long as it doesn't matter, don't worry about it, why you upset? Is it the way I spoke to, I said yesterday it is, I said I've given you a lot of time in the holidays and what have you come in and now you're making a big song and dance about an hour and she said oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to speak to you like that, but she did, she was just plain rude and really quite nasty, eh... she should of yeah, and she should of told me that I wasn't, becomes taking a lunch break... and then she said well you could of taken half an hour, I said you didn't tell me... well I said to her... Matt rung up this morning and said to you, surveyor's coming up to, at four o'clock, he wants both of us to be there so we know which way the windows will be and all the rest of it, just bear in mind, now I said to her I know it's short notice but can I please go at four o'clock, she said yeah it is short notice but yeah no problem come in at eight o'clock tomorrow morning as a joke and then she totally changed her attitude when she came back from her thing... mm... yeah... oh yeah that was nice of her... well I said to her, I said to her... oh I said to her look she would take she would, she was seeing me do it and I respect what she says and I do what I'm told... no she didn't say that
[Matt:] Matt the door
[Laura:] Matt go and get the door
[Jan:] specifically told you from yesterday but you just, I said I'm sorry but you didn't, you did not say that you weren't to go to lunch
[Matt:] Why do you, why do you keep messing about with that light?
[Jan:] but please don't worry Anita I'm not yeah
[Matt:] Shoes
[Christopher:] I know I'm just gonna go in
[Matt:] Don't just anything, doesn't matter
[Jan:] yeah, but
[Matt:] Been on your bike? go on put your bike away right take your shoes off
[Jan:] maybe she's got a bug or something, that's what I had a few weeks ago remember, mm, mm, oh and then to cap it all did she tell you she spoke to me about that erm the bloke that was organizing it, he was obviously a rip off she was a bit I felt bad because the bloke was with him and er she sort of glaring at him, and I said but Matt had I said shit, he must of come to pick me up so I obviously I apologise for
[Christopher:] Matt
[Jan:] I just felt awful
[Christopher:] Matt what did you get me?
[Jan:] but I do, if a man, a bloke's going out of his way
[Christopher:] ah?
[Jan:] I just didn't know what to do
[Christopher:] Er fishcakes
[Matthew:] They're chip
[Jan:] it's all your fault
[Christopher:] We're having chips
[Jan:] but it's not though, it's not, it's her fault for being so bloody stupid and not telling us A, what we're supposed to be doing and B, the fact that I was not having any lunch to go half an hour, what do you mean? She never said any... oh... and, and also, I know has got nothing to do with it but she's working an extra two and a half hours a week and getting half an hour off, you know I mean you, in all the nitty gritty of it, well I could of turned round and said look, well I'm actually entitled to half an hour, I should just being bloody pathetic and when I went out the back to go home Gaynor said whatever is going on here today? I said oh don't worry about it, it's just a bit of confusion about you know, it's just pathetic and she's so rude and nasty... no... mm... that's right... yeah, yeah, yeah... it's the same yesterday when I was writing about that we'll just send them back the problem and send fully stamped yeah, I really was quite, quite upset about it, well I don't blame you for it... I wouldn't of minded if she'd said this morning when I'd asked her
[Matt:] Jan
[Jan:] yeah, hang on a minute, yeah that's fine, just take half an hour or you can't have a lunch break, but she didn't, she just automatically assumes that everybody knows what's going on in her head... be that everybody else should know as well, yeah anyway I've got to go Matt's shouting, he's obviously having problems plumbing the dishwasher, god his little cotton socks, so we'll see you later, alright then, see you later on ta ta.
[Matt:] If I catch any of yous touching this again you'll be in deep trouble right Christy?
[Christopher:] I never touched it
[Matt:] Christy
[Christopher:] Yeah...
[Matt:] Just wait here, I'm going up for a bath first, you can come up when I give you a call right?
[Christopher:] Yeah
[Matt:] Do you want a fag Jan?
[Jan:] They're up here...
[Matt:] I'm gonna have a bath first I, still, finished
[Jan:] Get that off
[Matt:] Oh shut up... say anything in the conversation... well it's
[Jan:] I could three or four times I had to speak to him last night, and you never said a word, you just pretended or said you didn't hear
[Matt:] Er has it crossed your mind that it I'd might not heard?
[Jan:] But you said he was at the bottom of the stairs I was at the top and you were in his office...
[Matt:] It wasn't even recording on that tape was on there, why?... Are you ready to go? Don't leave your sleeves turned right up like that Matt there's no need for it... come on don't play with it, just take it...
[Matthew:] Will you write me absence letter please?
[Matt:] What?
[Matthew:] Write me an absence letter...
[speaker002:] ...
[Matt:] What's your teacher's name?
[Matthew:] Miss
[Matt:] Miss?
[Matthew:] Yeah she's my form teacher, I've got about twenty other teachers...
[Matt:] Is it Matt?...
[Christopher:] Dad... dad... dad
[Matt:] What?
[Christopher:] Where are you? Dad
[Matt:] I'm downstairs Christopher
[Christopher:] Oh, can I have erm a piece of toast?
[Matthew:] Not got enough time for us
[Christopher:] Just a slice dad? Can I have a slice of toast?
[Matt:] Yes go and put him in a slice of toast Matt
[Christopher:] Thank you
[Matthew:] Dad... oh... you're gonna have to wait, there's not enough time to get bread out the freezer and
[speaker002:] ...
[Matthew:] Dad that, they can't have toast cos there's bread in the freezer and it's, there's not enough time to get it out and defrost it.
[Matt:] Go and get a loaf out the freezer You alright?
[Jan:] Yeah I'm just going
[Matt:] You found your bag?
[Jan:] Mm, mm...
[Matt:] Don't forget that letter... I think I'll go up car and price how it'll cost er,recap er replace that cheap
[Jan:] What?
[Matt:] that blue stripy stuff
[Jan:] What for?
[Matt:] Because this looks crap
[Jan:] It's better this than wasting a load of money that carpets we're gonna bin anyway...
[Matt:] A few letters there, where's my pen? Where's the money that was there?
[Christopher:] Don't know
[Matt:] Jan did you lift the money that was on the side here?... Let the answer machine get the phone Laura... Are you ready to go Chris? Come on then go and get your coat on.
[Christopher:] I'm ready.
[Matt:] Go and get your coat on... well done... go and start the car Matt...
[Laura:] Dad
[Matt:] What?
[Laura:] A, D what does it stand for?
[Matt:] What?
[Laura:] A, D what does it stand for?
[Matt:] Anno Domini, why where does it say that?
[Laura:] It says in the it says two thousand and fourteen A D metropolis
[Matt:] Right... are you ready? Right come on Chris let's go, in fact run upstairs and put that on your bed quickly, come on, double away... better put that woman's gloves somewhere safe... did you take that change that was lying there, well Matt I'll need some for his dinner, oh, no... alright Laura
[Laura:] Are you coming back?
[Matt:] Of course I'm coming back, go and get your slippers on and make yourself a couple of bits of toast
[Laura:] I haven't got any slippers
[Matt:] Well borrow Matt's, go up and borrow Matt's, put your dressing
[Jan:] Christopher
[Matt:] go up and borrow Matt's, get your dressing gown on and make yourself some toast, right?
[Jan:] Look what he's done to his shoes
[Matt:] I know he'd better stop scraping them whatever he's doing.
[Christopher:] I never scrape them
[Matt:] You got that letter? Come on
[Jan:] Come on...
[Matt:] in the back seat well go on then blow away...
[Christopher:] I can't get this off
[Matt:] Put your seatbelt on
[Christopher:] can you get my for me please?...
[Matt:] no he doesn't he no Matt, things can change in the Fire Ser, the way they do things changes every, every year
[Matthew:] Cos we, when I get in I get chosen by other fire station
[Matt:] Yeah, well no that's
[Matthew:] del, delivering tools
[Matt:] that
[Matthew:] for the fire station
[Matt:] wait a minute that is for your could you open that up?...
[Matthew:] I know that's for work experience, but I'll still do it.
[Matt:] Right, I know
[Matthew:] We have to fill in all the fire engines that we work on
[Matt:] You may have to stay for your, who's that?
[Matthew:] The postman
[Matt:] I know it's the postman
[Jan:] Post
[Matt:] Oh, you might have to stay with your nana for a week
[Matthew:] Yeah that's alright
[Matt:] You'd better clear that with your nan the next time we see her. Don't see any problem
[Christopher:] I'm not
[speaker002:] [radio on]...
[Matt:] I look at the scrap heap, scrap for that then, might as well make it look as good as possible, even if I get two five for it, I'm sticking two, two grand in there, well we'll make it, we'll stick the lot in the joint account and keep it there mm, go on that's, that's no priority for a couple of months is it?
[Jan:] Got the money we might just as well
[Matt:] wait a minute, we'll leave that in there... we'll let it go out, see how it goes for a couple of months, Glen will know where we can use any money for that anyway for a couple of months
[Jan:] We're not selling that
[Matt:] What, alright, wait a minute, just let me finish, get it sorted out, why was buying a suite when we've got to be stripping down wallpaper and getting dust everywhere and sand and dirt and Christ knows what, just to get it all shitted up...
[Jan:] Well I'm saying
[Matt:] If I got it lying, where, if I've got it in the bank and it's there ready it's, there's nay problem is there? Ambulance there
[Jan:] Ah?
[Matt:] There's an ambulance there, looks like there's been a crash, a bad one as well
[speaker002:] ...
[Matt:] What the hell's happened there?
[Jan:] Two cars by the looks of it
[Matthew:] Let the rescue
[Matt:] must of hit some, some ice
[Christopher:] see them
[Matt:] but you've got to stick in to your studying Matt
[Matthew:] I know I need it
[Matt:] I know you need it, the way you read that letter was atrocious Matt... if the letter, the word just doesn't jump out and tell you what it is, look at the, the words each side of it... Christ...
[Matthew:] cos that woman stopped
[Matt:] She's got four red flashers on...
[Christopher:] Dad
[Matt:] I'm not heard any word from Commercial Union yet
[Christopher:] Dad
[Matt:] what? Well that's a point still haven't got any red letters
[Christopher:] Dad
[Matthew:] Perhaps stopped and you're insured
[Matt:] I'm insured, it's a cover note cover maybe
[Matthew:] Ah
[Matt:] I phoned them up
[Christopher:] Dad
[Matt:] want them to send me a cover note
[Christopher:] Dad
[Matt:] What?
[Christopher:] It isn't it isn't the case of just being a fireman say get a rescue tender and whirl it up and erm there about, you've got to get, you've got to be a fire, if you be a fireman you've got to get in everything erm and erm
[Matt:] oh of course you don't, jump in any wagon that's available, but there's certain vehicles for certain jobs, and as Matt said that would just be
[Christopher:] Yeah and if you sit there and then people like to rescue
[Matt:] The control tends to send through a, a fax
[Matthew:] They read it on the printer
[Matt:] Yeah
[Matthew:] and show you which vehicle to take
[Matt:] and then they take, you take whatever vehicle's
[Matthew:] On the
[Matt:] er they say, and if then they've made a mistake you have done what you are told, I mean if you take a big ladder and it's only a wee fire, a small car bump and then there is a big fire later on, somewhere else and they haven't got their, the right appliances because you're at that place with the wrong stuff, then that would cause problems wouldn't it?
[Christopher:] Yeah
[Matt:] See you later
[Matthew:] It's very rare that happens though
[Matt:] I love you too
[Matthew:] Er mum can I have some money? Sorry
[Matt:] Well done Matt, well done, better doing it now then wait until the last bloody minute when we're outside the school...
[Jan:] Right see you later
[Matt:] Have you got it?
[Matthew:] Yeah...
[Matt:] See you when you started crying last night there was no need for that Matt, nobody can... what do you want me to do please you when you kick, that was three things you kicked over in the space of minutes
[Matthew:] Alright
[Matt:] Well what do you want me to do? Praise you up when you go around kicking things, walking about with your eyes shut... you've got to join the Fire Service and you walk, you canna walk about with your eyes shut, you can't, people that have been injured in the head they're going to be screaming about it aren't they... your eyes are wonderful things Matt, they give you all round vision, you can see from, from the side of your eye if you look... it's like everything else if you don't use it properly, you don't get the benefit from it
[Christopher:] Dad look what I can do
[Matt:] What?
[Christopher:] with my eye, I can look forward and like that
[Matt:] Mm, mm
[Christopher:] I can look forward and sideways
[Matt:] Well you look at, if you put your hand up and move, move your fingers up at the side, you can see that, you can see that moving can't you?
[Christopher:] Yeah
[Matt:] That just shows you how good your eye, the views are, even right next to the side of your head
[Christopher:] Why?
[Matt:] you can see your hand moving
[Christopher:] Yeah
[Matt:] but if you keep it still because there's nothing happened there your eye disregards that and it takes in things that are moving.
[Christopher:] I can still see my hand
[Matt:] If you put your hand up at the side there you can still see it even though you're looking straight, even though I'm looking straight ahead Matt I can still see that, try it.
[Christopher:] So can I
[Matthew:] Aha I can
[Christopher:] so can I
[Matt:] Put your hand up at the side and
[Christopher:] I've done it
[Matt:] right up at the side of you? I mean I can still see my hand moving... take you to school
[Christopher:] I know
[Matt:] I'm taking you to school, just bored going out to it all the time...
[Christopher:] drinking a coffee?
[Matt:] Yep... I've decided I'm not going for that Audi Matt
[Matthew:] What the diesel one?
[Matt:] Yeah it's a van, I don't want another van
[Matthew:] No, but that wasn't the one I'm showing you, this one was a sixteen hundred er D L, er four hundred and fifty pounds
[Matt:] Diesel?
[Matthew:] No sixteen hundred
[Matt:] Yeah you can get a sixteen hundred diesel Matt
[Matthew:] No, but the other one in the auto paper, not the southern, there is a sixteen hundred Audi
[Matt:] Audi what?
[Matthew:] Saloon like this... and it's a sixteen hundred and you said that's the size you want
[Matt:] Mm, mm
[Matthew:] it says phone any time.
[Matt:] Is it trader?
[Matthew:] Private, so we could probably get away with four hundred
[Christopher:] Dad look at this, right
[Matthew:] Tell you what I'll write it down on a bit of paper what page it's on
[Matt:] Sorry just tell me
[Matthew:] Page fifty six
[Matt:] Right
[Matthew:] aut er the auto trader not the southern
[Matt:] Thames Valley?
[Matthew:] Yeah Thames Valley no it's not page fifty six in here... on the first page where it says bargain cars
[Matt:] Mm, mm
[Matthew:] and remember that little X R three, black one?
[Matt:] Mm, mm
[Matthew:] You don't turn the page over, just look over to the next column
[Matt:] I'll find it Matt, I'll find it
[Matthew:] it's a red Audi, eight, er hundred
[Christopher:] Dad
[Matt:] What?
[Christopher:] the blue one
[Matthew:] they're looking for four fifty it's a sixteen hundred with black cloth interior... terrible it's the next cheapest thing from that Capri, the Capri's the cheapest but it's a two litre
[Matt:] All I want is something that I can drive about, just to get me from A to B
[speaker002:] ...
[Matthew:] it's very well, like that
[Matt:] Same as that?
[Matthew:] like that, but it's the next one...
[Christopher:] Dad
[Matt:] What? Why what's that going for?
[Matthew:] It's too big for, too small for
[Matt:] no it's not
[Christopher:] Oh yeah dad, erm
[Matt:] I don't care if it gets me from
[Christopher:] got
[Matt:] A to B Matt
[Christopher:] dad I haven't gonna be a police, but you have to be careful any sort of car can be a police car
[Matt:] Yeah... you gonna be a policeman Chris?
[Christopher:] Yeah
[Matt:] You need to study hard...
[Christopher:] I know what erm... sixty four and sixty four...
[Matt:] This is very depressing, who put this on?
[Matthew:] What?
[Matt:] Who put this, tape on?
[Matthew:] Put what?
[Christopher:] Dad
[Matt:] This tape
[Christopher:] I already know what thirty two and thirty two is
[Matt:] What?
[Christopher:] Erm eighty four
[Matt:] No, thirty two add thirty two, what's three and three?
[Christopher:] Six
[Matt:] So what's two and two?
[Christopher:] Four
[Matt:] So what's thirty two and thirty two?
[Christopher:] Erm a hundred and twenty four
[Matt:] No sixty four
[Christopher:] Oh
[Matt:] because... three and three is six isn't it?
[Christopher:] Yeah
[Matt:] So that's the two thirties taken care off, so that'll be sixty wouldn't it?
[Christopher:] Yeah
[Matt:] Then you've got two twos, which are? What's two twos?
[Christopher:] Four
[Matt:] Right, so the answer is?
[Christopher:] Forty one
[Matt:] Sixty four...
[Christopher:] Oh you know what
[Matt:] You got your letter Matt?
[Matthew:] Yes
[Christopher:] Dad I already know what six thousand and six thousand is
[Matt:] Six thousand, six thousand?
[Christopher:] Yeah
[Matt:] Well what's six and six?
[Christopher:] I know what six thousand and six thousand make
[Matt:] What?
[Christopher:] Twelve, twelve thousand
[Matt:] Correct, well done... go on out you get
[Matthew:] Bye, see you
[Matt:] Give us a kiss now, okay see you later
[Matthew:] See you later, pick your brother up Matt yet
[Christopher:] Dad there's a rubber down there
[Matt:] A what?
[Christopher:] A rubber
[Matt:] Pick it up then
[Christopher:] there you go
[Matt:] Thank you, good boy, er pick your folder up for me please
[Christopher:] Am I coming in the back? I'll erm my seatbelt in the back?
[Matt:] Yes... if you want, yeah...
[Christopher:] I'm coming the other side...
[Matt:] You like Phil Collins don't you?
[Christopher:] Yeah
[Matt:] I'll buy you an album for your birthday
[Christopher:] Pardon?
[Matt:] I'll buy you an album, a Phil Collins album for your birthday, would you like that?
[Christopher:] Yeah...
[Matt:] And get you an hi fi for your own room
[Christopher:] Yeah...
[Matt:] Plain speaking English Dictionary. So... every e, every conversation I have I've got to... tape it. You don't mind do you?
[Christopher:] No. No.
[Matt:] Cos I try to get all the... colloquial things and whatever. All the small... adages that people use. Honestly! That's the tru, that's the truth! Innit Laura?
[Laura:] Mhm.
[Matt:] Right, so er... yeah, I was looking at her... a couple of cheapies in there. You ever been to Westbury Castle
[Christopher:] No.
[Laura:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] Have you? Ever been to Westbury Auctions No, straight up! No. I heard they're quite good.... So what d'you reckon I should reasonably ask for that thing then?
[Christopher:] Erm
[Matt:] I mean I've gotta put a... I've gotta put a minimal sale price on it.
[Christopher:] Er... three grand?
[Matt:] It's done a hundred and eight thousand mile!
[Christopher:] Yeah but it's big, it's two litre though innit?
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] Don't got to a trader though.
[Matt:] No. I'm going to an auction.
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] I'll put it in in Westbury Auction I was thinking about to... putting two eight.
[Christopher:] So what's the idea of all this then?
[Matt:] Two eight thing. Er, just this... this woman came round to the door last night... and said well... er, you know the in bi... English Dictionary? Well it's a... a dictionary on the spoken word. Like some people use other... other words to mean different things.
[Christopher:] Oh yes!
[Matt:] And they're trying... they're trying to compile one of these things. It's a load of fucking crap to be quite honest [LAUGHTER] as far as I'm concerned []! And she said swear and what have you!
[Christopher:] Ah!
[Matt:] I don't think I'll ever have a use for it.
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER] You're fucking lying []!
[Matt:] No honestly!
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] They're giving me twenty five quid for this, honest! They're giving us twenty five quid to record these.
[Christopher:] What?
[Matt:] Recording away.
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] I Bob and Sheila's last night as well, they were... Bob says... turn it off! Turn it off! [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] Oh! [sigh] Yeah! So they're fed up?
[Matt:] Thing is they're not much about mate is there? There's not much about at all!
[Christopher:] Go abroad. That'll be nice!
[Matt:] You thinking about it?
[Christopher:] Well I was, but Sharon don't wanna go at all.
[Matt:] Where would you go mate?
[Christopher:] Where's a, if you can get a... I forget what it's called now, they advertise in erm... er... is it Telegraph, Times... it's a newspaper which is just for jobs abroad.
[Matt:] Aha.
[Christopher:] It's two... it's twelve quid for six.
[Matt:] Six. Yeah.
[Christopher:] Six issues, yeah.
[Matt:] Worldwide?
[Christopher:] Yeah. And it just
[Matt:] Worldwide.
[Christopher:] comes... full of job, all sorts of jobs everywhere, you know? I thought about sending for that
[Matt:] It's crap!
[Christopher:] and
[Matt:] I've sent away for it.
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] It's crap! It's just like a fly sheet that comes out every month.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Matt:] But
[Christopher:] My mate Andy's off you see... he's
[Matt:] Wha
[Christopher:] gone to Saudi.
[Matt:] Who?
[Christopher:] My mate Andy in Wales.
[Matt:] Has he?
[Christopher:] Tyre fitting... of all things.
[Matt:] In Saudi?
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] Jesus Christ!
[Christopher:] get in over there. Oh, no, just split up and mess about.
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] He's got them on a...
[Matt:] That
[Christopher:] get done for assault there.
[Matt:] that paper you're talking about... it's mainly for... erm... students
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Matt:] that have got six months... where they want to get in before they... get stuck into their studying again.
[Christopher:] Overseas jobs vacancies.
[Matt:] Yeah, that's right, yes!
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] Cos I sent away for it. I got it for six months,te
[Christopher:] Yeah?
[Matt:] twelve pound for six months. Er
[Christopher:] Are these erm... today's papers?
[Matt:] Yesterdays.
[Christopher:] What.
[Matt:] Yeah. They come out on a Thursday don't they, you!
[Christopher:] Yeah, cos of the... cos of the week holiday yo... never know!
[Matt:] No, not talking. I don't buy... crap!
[Christopher:] Just erm
[Matt:] I've gotta fit this... poxy was, this dishwasher as well!
[Christopher:] Have you gotta apply for licence?
[Matt:] No. I've got a... I've got a licence everything mate! I'm... well covered!
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []! Why don't you get a bike? If it's only
[Matt:] Because... I've got
[Christopher:] Because
[Matt:] a briefcase that would choke an elephant! And when
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] it's pissing with rain I don't wanna go into somebody's house... dripping like a, never mind looking at the bikes... into the cars!
[Christopher:] I need to find erm... a breakage... a bike breakers.
[Matt:] There's one in Basingstoke.
[Christopher:] Ah!
[Matt:] Bike Busters.
[Christopher:] I paid ninety quid, is that where it is? Bike
[Matt:] Bike, Bike Busters, I know where it is, it's erm
[Christopher:] I paid ninety quid for this Suzuki right?
[Matt:] Mhm.
[Christopher:] And erm... magneto broke on it... and these, I mean back shockers are a bit weak on this and that, but Sharon had it and said oh it's not big enough! I want a bigger bike but she's not gonna ride it until she's had the baby.
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] And erm... I mean, it'll go, just wants a bit of
[Matt:] Coaxing?
[Christopher:] Yeah. It wants, you know? Cos of the, the bloke up in Wooton Rivers the bike breakers there
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] he's got two of them up there, engines and... the big bikes... so I've... gotta ring him up and see how much he wants some bits for.
[Matt:] For the magneto? Shouldn't o cost you that much for Christ's sake!
[Christopher:] Well a new one's eighty quid!
[Matt:] Well you don't want a new one though do you?
[Christopher:] Well no. Well I need a magneto... erm... the kick start sprongs naffed on it, so I thought well... that doesn't matter, springs okay I'll
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] put it on wheel lock
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] for kick start.
[Matt:] Just a wee spot weld will
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] keep that one alright.
[Christopher:] And sort it out.
[Matt:] [shouting] You alright Laura []?
[Laura:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] Offered me thirty quid for it, he didn't.
[Matt:] Cheeky shitter
[Christopher:] But when he comes down he said oh look, he said the back springs are naffed, I mean, yeah that back suspension's
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] a bit saggy. And then he said, spline on the kick start. So you won't put a new spline in, he goes but the ca, the crank case is
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] all I've seen.
[Matt:] That's right, that!
[Christopher:] He says and er, you got this and that and the other! Both tyres he says... dunno if you'll get through an M O T with them.
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] So I don't think it's worth... like that. Not the... bloody thing! Ain't got much time to mess about with it you see. Ain't got much time as it is!
[Matt:] Mm. Who's this guy in Wales that you know about the cars? I'm not interested in a poxy old bike!
[Christopher:] Who's this? What bloke?
[Matt:] That guy that you got the Datsun off.
[Christopher:] Oh Chris!
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] Yeah, he hasn't got nothing. Ooh hang on he has bought yo, he's bought a B M W... erm... bought a B M W.
[Matt:] What, three sixty?
[Christopher:] It's a three series. It might be a two litre though. Er
[Matt:] How much?
[Christopher:] I dunno I, I dunno even know if he's done it yet. Er er, what was wrong with it? Erm
[Matt:] Phone him up!
[Christopher:] Erm... don't know his work's number. I've got his home number written at home.
[Matt:] Phone Sharon and tell her to get the phone number.
[Christopher:] Yeah. Er
[Matt:] Get moving bud! Get a move on! I could do with a nice wee bud ah? It turns up.
[Christopher:] Can't think of anything else is there?
[Matt:] You feeling alright Laura?
[Laura:] Look, there!
[Matt:] Where?
[Laura:] There.
[Matt:] Your stomach?
[Christopher:] Let's see!
[Matt:] Your tummy?
[Christopher:] Let's see. Whereabouts?
[Laura:] Hello!
[Matt:] Yeah, go on. Shug
[Christopher:] Well
[Matt:] What?
[Christopher:] [phonecall starts] ello! Mummy there?
[Matt:] Anybody phone Laura?
[Christopher:] Watcha
[Laura:] No.
[Christopher:] How are you? Erm, listen can you give us Chris's number in the book please? Hello, how are you? What are you doing?... Comes under C. Comes under C.
[Matt:] C for cars.
[Christopher:] Yeah. Yeah. Did you tell them says. Yeah. Erm Geoff... I I met him in Phillips, I went to, hang on!
[Matt:] ello!
[speaker002:] Hello!
[Matt:] How are you?
[speaker002:] Alright.
[Matt:] Long time, no see!
[speaker002:] I know!
[Matt:] How
[speaker002:] How are you today?
[Matt:] How have you been?
[speaker002:] Alright thanks.
[Matt:] That's good! I'm recording you at the minute.
[speaker002:] Are you?
[Matt:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] Oh my God! I should know how to.
[Matt:] No you're alright! You'll be alright.
[speaker002:] Aha.
[Matt:] Why don't you come down and see this place. Well, no... not at the minute.
[speaker002:] No?
[Matt:] No.
[speaker002:] Is this the. Are you alright?
[Matt:] Yeah, yeah.
[speaker002:] What's the matter?
[Matt:] We've got fifteen grand for the council so
[speaker002:] Have you?
[Matt:] Yeah. Fifteen thousand, yeah.
[speaker002:] The council can't give you that amount.
[Matt:] To buy it. No, no this is to buy cos we've moved out of council, council property
[speaker002:] Oh I see!
[Matt:] into this place. No, it'll cost us... at the, the buying price was fifty one. A four bedroom, so we cannot go wrong basically! Yeah, yeah. But erm... you need to come down, once we get the double glazing I'll give you a shout and... come down for a... come down for a coffee and what have you.
[speaker002:] Yeah, that sounds great!
[Matt:] Yeah, definitely! How are you? I hear you're er... in the family way again.
[speaker002:] Yeah, I know.
[Matt:] You dirty people!
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Well, you calling us dirty people?
[Matt:] Well
[speaker002:] And we!
[Matt:] [LAUGHTER] I am []! Oh I don't mind admitting it! [LAUGHTER]... Right, I'll put you back onto your feller shal
[speaker002:] Okay bye!
[Matt:] See you later love!
[speaker002:] Bye!
[Christopher:] Okay, I'll see you later. Oh,wha wha hang on! What time are you going down the hospital? Right, I got a cheque in my pocket made out to pay cash so she said you can go in and cash it on the counter. Two weeks. Because otherwise you wouldn't be able to... it'd take three days to clear so that's the best way to do it. She put pay cash... on the, on the whatever. Alright then? I'll see you later! Okay bye! [phonecall ends]
[Matt:] .
[Christopher:] Not on this one though. Yeah missed a bloody... does that now and again dunnit? How much do you wanna spend?
[Matt:] As little as possible! As little as possible!
[Christopher:] She might be down the shops or something. He'd be.... No, nobody in.
[Matt:] Shit!
[Christopher:] Here I'll tell you what... got your Capri going well there!
[Matt:] Has she?
[Christopher:] Hundred and forty brake horse.
[Matt:] Jesus Christ!
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER]... Erm
[Matt:] Actually I was wanting that Capri last night actually.
[Christopher:] Actually I didn't know the Capri... what? Fourteen, fifteen. A H, H reg two litre S. Like, two litre.
[Matt:] It's too big!
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Matt:] Too
[Christopher:] Erm
[Matt:] Too juicy!
[Christopher:] Yeah. Okay, we need another... What about that, what about a Skoda then? No good?
[Matt:] if I go too fast! you know, if they put... council put a notice on.
[Christopher:] Oh right.
[Matt:] So it's been towed away. That bastard over getting there first I think! What were you gonna say about this guy that was in here?
[Christopher:] Oh... full of it!
[Matt:] He's doolally isn't he!
[Christopher:] He was telling me that er... when he was serving Northern Ireland, okay?
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] He was hanging out of a Lynx... sitting on the side of this... with this gun right?
[Matt:] Yeah. Right.
[Christopher:] he said and they was doing six hundred mile an hour... oh yeah?
[Matt:] In a Lynx?
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] What a shit!
[Christopher:] And they was hanging out the bottom, hanging out with their guns hanging over the edges. Six hundred mile an hour!
[Matt:] Crap!
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] A Lynx will only do a hundred and eighty mile an hour!
[Christopher:] Yeah, but that ain't
[Matt:] Well it must of been a turbo... turbo thrust
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] blue thunder
[Christopher:] Yeah so
[Matt:] accelerated elastic band
[Christopher:] Yeah. So he says
[Matt:] special Lynx!
[Christopher:] oh he says, the stories he used to come up with
[Matt:] He's full of crap! I'm not... I mean
[Christopher:] He
[Matt:] when I come down here and I'm
[Christopher:] he still go on about his... to do these.
[Matt:] Ah! He's full of crap!
[Christopher:] Iddy lost his job.
[Matt:] Who? Sorry?
[Christopher:] Does those helicopters
[Matt:] Ah right, yes! Why did he lose that?
[Christopher:] They erm... well... apparently he said... a few of them got in trouble he said, and heads had to roll and one of them was his! Erm... he didn't think
[Matt:] Causing trouble in what respect.
[Christopher:] or something.
[Matt:] Ooh Christ!
[Christopher:] So er
[Matt:] You cannot afford to make mistakes like that on aircraft!
[Christopher:] Well I think, I think it was a few of them involved, but apparently he went... so you... never know.
[Matt:] Jesus Christ! Yeah but you cannot afford to... I mean, Jesus Christ they're putting... people's lives in danger there aren't you?
[Christopher:] Yeah. I bet this is runner up for erm... gonna take some accessories okay?
[Matt:] What for?
[Christopher:] Well... got a car in there. I mean, for instance, if you had something like er
[Matt:] Spares or repairs.
[Christopher:] fourteen or... I had a sixteen overhead cam Cortina engine sitting up... the blokes just swapped it for a two litre... cos he wanted some more go. That's my old engine out of my green Capri.
[Matt:] Oh!
[Laura:] Dad!
[Christopher:] Sixteen hundred.
[Matt:] Thanks darling. Well then go and get yourself ready... and you can start stripping off... things like that for me. D'you feel better?
[Laura:] Okay, yeah.
[Matt:] Ah?
[Laura:] Yeah.
[Matt:] Get yourself dre
[Christopher:] Cor blimey Ford Capri two litre S, complete care including full road cage. Mm!
[Matt:] I just want something that I can tax, and insure... and ju jump in and take away.
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] D'you want another coffee?
[Christopher:] No, I'm alright thanks. Well I'll tell you who might have something
[Matt:] Who?
[Christopher:] Erm... Michael out at erm... er Burbridge way. He runs a scrap yard there and erm... whenever he gets decent cars in like, he flogs them on. He's usually he's usually got a car or two for sale. Michael Williams his name is but I can't remember bu... I dunno the name of the scrap yard.
[Matt:] At Burbridge
[Christopher:] Erm... well it's not Burbridge it's erm... oh! He had
[Matt:] Is it Devizes?
[Christopher:] Ah?
[Matt:] It's not Devizes is it?
[Christopher:] No, it's not that side. It's... go to Burbridge
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] and then take
[Matt:] My area.
[Christopher:] Ah?
[Matt:] That's my area.
[Christopher:] Yeah. Well if you take that road down that goes to erm
[Matt:] Great... Great Bevven
[Christopher:] No! No!
[Matt:] Marlborough
[Christopher:] No, erm
[Matt:] Eastern Royal Pusey
[Christopher:] Pusey if you take the road that goes to Pusey you
[Matt:] Right.
[Christopher:] take, that's where it is. A scrap yard
[Matt:] Pusey
[Christopher:] there
[Matt:] I know where you are!
[Christopher:] on the left hand side, Michael. And he's usually got a car or two for sale there.
[Matt:] In Pusey itself?
[Christopher:] Well yeah, I think it might be in Pusey
[Matt:] Yeah that's
[Christopher:] Or it's just
[Matt:] I know where that is.
[Christopher:] on... near, just outside Pusey
[Matt:] Where the monument is?
[Christopher:] Ah?
[Matt:] Where the monument is, you turn right... and you go up that small road and it's on the right hand side? I know
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] where that is. Yeah.
[Christopher:] Near the bungalow on the right hand
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] side.
[Matt:] That's right.
[Christopher:] That's the one.
[Matt:] Well, as you drive in the bungalow's on the left.
[Christopher:] Yeah, that's the one.
[Matt:] And then there's a... the scrappies right behind it.
[Christopher:] Yeah, that's the one. Yeah. Now he usually got a car for sale. He had erm... what did he have there the last time? Usually got a Cortina or something outside for sale, you know?
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] When he gets them in. Old Escorts, something like that. Well I don't see, I say, old but, you know quite tidy. Mark three escort he had there, one going cheap.
[Matt:] So that, there's a... an Audi in there... and Audi diesel
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] four hundred and ninety five.
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] The thing is it's getting the spares for the bastards that's the thing.
[Christopher:] Well I put Chris's number on top there if you want
[Matt:] Yeah, yeah
[Christopher:] Yeah?
[Matt:] I'll give him a call mate.
[Christopher:] You met the, you met them before?
[Matt:] Chris, no. I've, is that the one that bought the engine?
[Christopher:] No, that was Steve.
[Matt:] Ah that's right, yes.
[Christopher:] Erm... it's surprising what you get in here if you... look in the right places.
[Matt:] Scan through it, yes.
[Christopher:] I mean those items are pretty good as well.
[Matt:] Ah?
[Christopher:] In the items. Er... you been looking
[Matt:] I was wan
[Christopher:] have you?
[Matt:] Matt's been looking through it for us, I've not had a chance to look at it yet.
[Christopher:] Lancia, ha! Sixteen hundred.
[Matt:] You like Lancias didn't you?
[Christopher:] I like the old twin cams, yeah.
[Matt:] yes, I'm not keen on Lancia. I think they're a heap of shit to be quite honest!
[Christopher:] Cor that's cheap innit?
[Matt:] So what d'you think of the old place? What?
[Christopher:] Yeah,ma, good potential innit?
[Matt:] A lot... a lot and
[Christopher:] Vauxhall Royale.
[Matt:] Fucking massive engine!
[Christopher:] I know. Look!
[Matt:] It's about three litre I, should think.
[Christopher:] Rare two point eight manual option, service history... full service history, over two thousand pound bills, gleaming metallic gold, luxury velvet interior, power steering, tilt slide centre, tinted electric windows... remote mirrors, four headrests, alloys etc., tax, M O T, beautiful car, maintained regardless of cost... eight hundred and ninety five quid.
[Matt:] Ah. Yeah, but it's
[Christopher:] One here.
[Matt:] going from a two litre to a three litre! And I don't need that!
[Christopher:] I know! No, no, no.
[Matt:] Oh! Do you know anybody that's got a car trailer?
[Christopher:] Erm... ah! Yeah.
[Matt:] Any chance of getting a loan of it?
[Christopher:] Yeah, I dunno, I've got his number, but he's moved but his, the number's the same. He was gonna lend us before and er, the only reason I didn't borrow it it's a bit dodgy okay? It's go
[Matt:] Why?
[Christopher:] It's got no brakes on it. Depending on how much you're towing.
[Matt:] Well it's a Datsun Sunny.
[Christopher:] Yeah, erm... what's the matter with it then?
[Matt:] What the Datsun Sunny? It's been lying up for about a year and a half
[Christopher:] Oh right!
[Matt:] It's got no seats in it. So I need a trailer. Can ri, see if I can arrange to have it collected on Sunday. Could you borrow the trailer on Sunday.
[Christopher:] Yeah. What's his na, erm...
[Matt:] Well it's no use me phoning him up is it?
[Christopher:] No, I know I was just thinking if I could... ring him up now. I'm not if he's home. Got some others in here.
[Matt:] Have they?
[Christopher:] B M W Alpina three two three injection, the cheapest
[Matt:] Yep!
[Christopher:] Alpina you'll ever see.
[Matt:] What is it six hundred?
[Christopher:] Ninete nineteen
[Matt:] Six hundred?
[Christopher:] seventy eight manual in red, factory sun roof, B B S alloy wheels, long M O T, requires some tidying... six hundred and ninety five quid.
[Matt:] Yeah. It's not bad at all is it? What size is it?
[Christopher:] Two point three injection.
[Matt:] Two point.
[Christopher:] So twin pipes don't you?
[Matt:] That'll be too big, yes!
[Laura:] Dad?
[Matt:] Too much fuel man!
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Matt:] I mean I'm carrying a... a fuel tank behind me with that thing.
[Christopher:] Erm... yeah, I must know someone actually who can... who's got something for sale.
[Matt:] Something about four hundred, four, five hundred.... I wanna know how much I can get for that thing though.
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] I mean once she's tidied up... she's nice looking when she's... had a good polish and what have you. How much d'you reckon.
[Christopher:] It's gonna be about three I suppose innit?
[Matt:] I should think three, yes.
[Christopher:] It depends, some of them bigger Vauxhalls see they don't hold their money.
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] It's like them Royales you put in Royales at dirty cheap innit?
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] And Senators. Pick up Senators up for nothing.
[Matt:] Carlton's a nice model though.
[Christopher:] That Jags nice innit, in here? Did you see it with the kit on?
[Matt:] I'm not looking for a Jag! I'm not interested in a Jag Christopher!
[Christopher:] It's nineteen seventy, a good body work,, spoilers, alloys, triple kerbs
[Matt:] [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] Two hundred and six
[Matt:] Yeah okay.
[Christopher:] two hundred and sixty five brake horse.
[Matt:] Attached B P petrol station! [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] All of Wales!
[Christopher:] Triumph he, Triumph sta er what do you call them? Erm, Herald....
[Matt:] Four gallons to the second!
[Christopher:] R S two thousand, one mint condition. I dunno, I think... either one of them.
[Matt:] D'you know anybody that's got a
[Christopher:] Some of them might be
[Matt:] That's got a dolly? Erm
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] Not a dolly. Er... there's a small Escort... mark three Escort, right? Up at Pusey and it's had a rear end smash.
[Christopher:] Yeah?
[Matt:] Yep! Quite bad. The axel's smashed to shit! And it looks as if it's, might have distorted the chassis a bit.
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] But B P Rowes have got a jig haven't they? That they
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] and
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Matt:] I wonder how much they charge me for that
[Christopher:] I dunno.
[Matt:] to jig that straight?
[Laura:] Dad? Shall I get a?
[Matt:] Yeah, that's a good idea
[Christopher:] Could always phone
[Matt:] doll.
[Christopher:] B P Rowes
[Matt:] Yeah. D'you know anybody else that's got a jig?
[Christopher:] No. Actually I do. There's a bloke erm... Sharon's dad bought erm... my brother-in-law's Citroen off him
[Matt:] Aha.
[Christopher:] After it had been smashed up, written off.
[Matt:] Mhm.
[Christopher:] They gave him... ooh, couple of hundred quid for it, four hundred quid or something. E reg
[Matt:] Mhm.
[Christopher:] or F reg
[Matt:] Mhm.
[Christopher:] and a bloke down in Cardiff... put it on the jig and he erm... he er... does all the taxi's you know
[Matt:] Mhm.
[Christopher:] and he charged him five hundred to jig it all straight, put the new panels and, and... spray it all.
[Matt:] Shit!
[Christopher:] Yeah. Well cos down in Cardiff I mean you ain't got the money down there.
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] So you gotta do it cheap. Yeah. Erm... yeah, I don't know if, it might be worth you have a look at this... Italia mate.
[Matt:] Well find it.
[Christopher:] Yeah, I'll see him and I'm, I'll probably see him tomorrow and I'll have... I'll see what's about. Mm.
[Matt:] Then I can pick up a cheap engine.
[Christopher:] How about a Ferrari Dino replica.
[Matt:] Yeah, that'll do fine. Get two. Is there two in there? No I'm, but I'm only buying them in pairs!
[Christopher:] Wilton carp, even got Wilton carpets in it, ah?
[Matt:] Mm!
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] Well there you go! Something nice to wipe my muddy feet on when I come in!
[Christopher:] Yeah. Erm... yeah, I'll have to see what's about. Put the old er, feelers out you know?
[Matt:] Like, as in yesterday you know what I mean?
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] Cos I've gotta dig that thing out this weekend. I want to try and get her in... for er... into the auctions for Wednesday.
[Christopher:] Yeah, erm... cor that's nice! Carlton.
[Matt:] What? Ah?
[Christopher:] Carlton.
[Matt:] Yeah. Much?
[Christopher:] Eight, nine grand!
[Matt:] What i, what reg?
[Christopher:] Erm, it's a three litre G S I... which is the real top of the range innit?
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] Nineteen eighty seven, lotus green, badges etc.
[Matt:] Eighty seven? That's the same as mine.
[Christopher:] Well full lotus body kit, ninety eighty seven, a lotus green, badges etc., seventeen inch wheel, alpine C D, tape stereo, alarm, all usual G S I extras
[Matt:] Okay then, you can knock a thousand quid off a that. So it's about seven an seven grand they're looking for that?
[Christopher:] You seen that Lotus Carlton, the new one?
[Matt:] No.
[Christopher:] Or a Nodac
[Matt:] Beautiful back kit innit?
[Christopher:] It's a three point six right? Three hundred and seventy brake horse power
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] nought to sixty in under six seconds, hundred
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] and seventy mile and hour.
[Matt:] And it's a heavy, heavy old car as well.
[Christopher:] A hundred and fifty mile an hour right?
[Matt:] Ah?
[Christopher:] How many revs... in top gear?
[Matt:] I reckon about four and a half.
[Christopher:] Three and a half. A hundred and fifty mile an hour! Now road testing, the bloke said look you can take your hands off the wheel at a hundred and fifty! [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] Well I ca, I can do a hundred and twenty odd in that thing in four and a half.
[Christopher:] Yeah. But it ain't bad is it? Five speed.
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] Yeah, I'll have to keep my eyes open Matt. Erm... but I'll probably think of something later on.
[Matt:] D'you want this wood? Well you got my phone number haven't you?
[Christopher:] Yeah. No.
[Matt:] I'll give you my card.
[Christopher:] Alright, well I'll see what I can rustle up then.
[Matt:] Yeah. Sooner... you know what I mean? Yesterday's... yesterday's too late.
[Christopher:] Yeah, that Geoff might have something I'll see if I can erm
[Matt:] I got my cards.
[Christopher:] it's er... that Geoff might have something I can erm... go up see.
[Matt:] D'you wanted to look at that wood in the shed.
[Christopher:] Yeah. Yeah,
[Matt:] You help yourself mate. Help yourself. I'm going to the loo. give me a shout before you disappear.
[Christopher:] . Why don't... you coming Matt?
[Matt:] No, you help yourself.
[Laura:] I reckon you've been having the report daddy, then we can.....
[Matt:] God love her!
[Laura:] Do all those men have the?
[Matt:] You pull the chain down really low and pee on the edge of them.
[Laura:] if you can't afford to get behind here. Right?
[Christopher:] No, I think this is it. It's too big.
[Matt:] Well you can cut it!
[Christopher:] Yeah, a little, but you... I better get one actually cos it's gonna be in the... main kitchen in the school see.
[Matt:] Oh.
[Christopher:] So it'll have to be all... super-duper! [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] [LAUGHTER] [].
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] But if you can out about the trailer
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] then I'll drop the guy a couple of quid.
[Christopher:] Yeah, I'll see what's about. Erm
[Matt:] No, it's alright. Don't worry in the bin.
[Christopher:] Erm
[Matt:] This one.
[Christopher:] Yeah, I'll probably think of someone who's got a burner.
[Matt:] Well you do that. You
[Christopher:] yes?
[Matt:] do that! Find abo, out about the Ital... and er
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] and everything else. I'm not keen
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] keen on Itals right off but...
[Christopher:] For the right money, and if it's good, the body's good and all that
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] sixty quid's good enough innit?
[Matt:] Getting us A to B, that's all I'm worried about.
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] Mm?
[Christopher:] Sort that out!
[Matt:] Oh! I'll get a new... get a nice small engine in it no problem man!
[Christopher:] No.
[Matt:] Well I'll do anything I'll tell you that!
[Christopher:] My er... my mates just bought a Marina.
[Matt:] Aha.
[Christopher:] Two thousand.... and this, he said all, but he says it's totally... immaculate!
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] Paint... sprayed a little bit here and there, he said
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] but there's not a spot of rust on it!. He said but he's blown them, smoked them... and bought some new pistons for it... and erm, done it, he's brilliant!
[Matt:] I gotta stick a few. I, I will I'll stick that in for a few grand.
[Christopher:] There's... where you gonna put it? In the auction?
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] Westbury Auctions.
[Christopher:] Stick it in there. Mm.
[Matt:] So if I can get something for about five... five ton.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Matt:] Ooh, excuse me!
[Christopher:] Well I'll see Chris with the B M.
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] Erm
[Matt:] And if it's a three series.
[Christopher:] Yeah, cos yours is a smaller one innit? Smaller body work.
[Matt:] Well it's sixteen. Ah.
[Christopher:] Be ideal.
[Matt:] Sixteen hundred
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] maybe. That'd
[Christopher:] He mi
[Matt:] be okay.
[Christopher:] he might have. I dunno! Don't get them anywhere at the moment! Bit rare though, if you get them.
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] Can't afford to... replace them if you get one
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] you see! Erm
[Matt:] Well it's a case, I've got to get rid of that thing cos I cannot just... I just cannot afford fifteen quid a day... petrol!
[Christopher:] sap up doing nothing..
[Matt:] Is there? Good nick?
[Christopher:] It ain't too bad actually. Silver it is, it's a two litre G, Gs... G S I.
[Matt:] Going from two litre... two litre, I don't
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] want a two litre!
[Christopher:] Well that's that's... people, that's why people get the smaller engine there's that much kicking about I'm afraid. People hang on to them. Yeah. But then I got... I mean if you said right we'll get... a... yeah, a or something right?
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] Erm... I could get that... sixteen hundred Cortina engine... that's for the fitting as well.
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] Get Steve to do it. They got them.
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] Your saving money it don't matter cos your absolutely. Ha!
[Matt:] done on the weekends or
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] rather, or if you'd rather after that.
[Christopher:] Get, yeah as well.
[Matt:] Mm.
[Christopher:] But erm, well if I get erm
[Matt:] ?
[Christopher:] Well that's what doing now, cutting up.
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] Well you better see to it then.
[Matt:] ?
[Laura:] Yeah!
[Matt:] Get us in trouble.
[Christopher:] Well I got things to do.
[Matt:] Like what? Christ you're doing well! You get in there. Get stuck in! Do you feel better now though? You slept?
[Laura:] Yeah.
[Matt:] Ah dear!... You seen my tape measure love?
[Laura:] No.
[Matt:] Any idea where it is at all?
[Laura:] No.
[Matt:] It was here a couple of minutes ago.
[Laura:] This hard bread's falling to pieces!
[Matt:] Well let's have it.
[Laura:] A little bit.... We'll get the chicken.
[Matt:] Watch! Watch your fingers!... Don't matter how sharp it is it'll still cut you Laura!
[Laura:] How come all the? Do we need dishes?
[Matt:] Mhm. Is that enough cheese?
[Laura:] Full. A bit more in the middle please?
[Matt:] Let me get us some crusty bread.
[Laura:] [singing] []. Mm mm.... Ooh!... How do you get that?
[Matt:] Oh aye I did. That's lovely!
[Laura:] Why?
[Matt:] So that the... the good bit's on the bottom... the buttered bread's on the bottom. The cheese won't go all over the place then.
[Laura:] Oh!... This filling, it looks very nice doesn't it?
[Matt:] Yeah. Look at that one.
[Laura:] Aha. Can I have a bit of cheese... on the side... on the plate? I really like cheese now! It's all eat apart. And hey, which bit's mine?
[Matt:] yes? Course you can.... I need that poxy tape measure! Where the hell did that go?
[Laura:] It might be in the lounge.
[Matt:] Ah, in the lounge.
[Laura:] Ah.
[Matt:] Your tea's in here love.
[Laura:] Pardon?
[Matt:] Your tea is in here!
[Laura:] Yeah, I'll just come and get it.
[Matt:] It's alright, here it's here, I've brought it in.
[Laura:] Thanks.
[Matt:] I bet you I've put that tape measure away didn't I?
[Laura:] Oh.
[Matt:] way round didn't I?
[Laura:] I know.... When the green light comes on again that means it's done doesn't it?
[Matt:] Yep.
[Laura:] Right. True actually.... I thought the, the erm... you know you say these things can get very hot
[Matt:] Yeah. What, in the grill? Aha.
[Laura:] Yeah. Right. Well I thought those... fires get red hot.
[Matt:] So they do.
[Laura:] Yeah. Well today... in I learnt something else right. I thought that red hot was... the hottest... the
[Matt:] Temperature you could get?
[Laura:] Yes. But it isn't you can also get white hot!
[Matt:] Correct! Which is
[Laura:] A lot hotter.
[Matt:] Twice as hot as red, as red hot. Looks nice dunnit?
[Laura:] Aha. Can't wait to get my teeth into it!
[Matt:] Do you want your teeth in it as well!
[Laura:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] Have you got your plate?
[Laura:] Yeah, it's there. Mine has got cheese on.
[Matt:] Ah! Blast!
[Laura:] Mine here.
[Matt:] Goes on a bit thick.
[Laura:] [singing] Yep. That's really very hot that is,. nacky nacky noo! []
[Matt:] Definitely not gonna fit.
[Laura:] You could put in the middle. Put it sort of in the middle. Centre.
[Matt:] And what good is that gonna do love?
[Laura:] What? I don't see what you mean? What the dinner's not gonna fit
[Matt:] Well how am I gonna get the door shut?
[Laura:] in there?
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Laura:] Oh... well... push in that bit
[Matt:] [cough]... Not only this, it's this, it's too big... as well.
[Laura:] Dad?
[Matt:] Yeah fine. Fine. Put it on there.
[Laura:] [singing] Rum tee tum []!
[Matt:] a minute and a half.
[Laura:] [singing] Da da da da... doo doo doo doo []. Can I eat the cheese?
[Matt:] No, leave the cheese on your plate just now.
[Laura:] Okay.
[Matt:] Why don't stand there and eat it love?
[Laura:] Okay.... Aha. Aha.
[Matt:] Well that's only, it's boiling.
[Laura:] It's white hot don't you think?
[Matt:] If it's white hot we wouldn't be able to stand close to it Laura. Burn your eyes out!
[Laura:] Only the white heat.
[Matt:] Watch, because the cheese will be very hot inside as well.
[Laura:] Aha.
[Matt:] I'll put that in that.
[Laura:] It's almost done now.. Daddy.
[Matt:] .... Wait till that come on.
[Laura:] Right.... I've never had one of your.
[Matt:] Have you not?
[Laura:] No.
[Matt:] Is the cheese nice?
[Laura:] Aha.... Flipping hell, aren't I allowed to have a bit? Can I go and sit at the table cos my tea's there.
[Matt:] Yeah. If you want.
[Laura:] Mm.... What's this mat thing?
[Matt:] What mat thing?
[Laura:] This... thing here?
[Matt:] That's for very awkward questions!
[Laura:] But it's just a receipt?
[Matt:] Mm.
[Laura:] Don't worry.... It's just a.... It's, and it's just the si, it says. For details.
[Matt:] So I did.
[Laura:] . Mm. Mm mm!... What's VAT dad?
[Matt:] Value added tax.
[Laura:] Pardon?
[Matt:] Value added tax.
[Laura:] Oh!
[Matt:] A rip off! That's what it is.
[Laura:] Oh!
[Matt:] Complete rip off Laura!
[Laura:] Must be.... A big receipt... for only one thing.
[Matt:] Shit! That old unit's stuck behind there.
[Laura:] The whole thing?
[Matt:] [sigh] Ho! I'm
[Laura:] Oh!
[Matt:] afraid so!... I'm damned well afraid so!... This is ready Laura. You ready?
[Laura:] Oh! Yeah.... I'll bring my plate up.... Right, thanking yo you.... This looks lovely! Mm. Looks rather good!
[Matt:] Right, I'll going outside,, alright?
[Laura:] Okay.
[Matt:] I won't
[Laura:] Where's
[Matt:] be long.
[Laura:] Right. Was the one you went to Building Materials Centre,?
[Matt:] Mm.
[Matthew:] Poor old! It's a black interior as well.
[Matt:] What, on the Audi?
[Matthew:] Yeah.
[Laura:] Is it?
[Matt:] One four and a half, I'd say will you accept three hundred and fifty?
[Matthew:] [LAUGHTER]... Well I don't wanna phone the!
[Matt:] Well you do, obviously don't want the... car then!
[Matthew:] Yeah, well you... yes, I'm thinking about you! And it's advertised for four hundred and eighty so... I don't... feel you're gonna knock it down that... much for
[Matt:] Do you not? Would you lay your life on it?
[Laura:] It's only seventy quid!
[Matthew:] I'd lay a lot of money on it!... Se
[Matt:] You can phone up and say is it gone? Ask if it's gone?
[Laura:] If not say
[Matt:] Have some idea nay!
[Matthew:] No!
[Matt:] Well go on then!
[Matthew:] Yeah, and then what shall I say if she says no?
[Matt:] Just say will you accept three fifty?
[Matthew:] [LAUGHTER] No []! I'm not saying will you accept three fifty!
[Laura:] I'd do it if my teeth didn't hurt!
[Matthew:] I'd say will you accept four fifty.
[Matt:] Oh God!
[Laura:] And then you're knocking the price down by thirty quid!
[Matthew:] So?
[Laura:] Then this is where the fun starts! She'll say... no, oh oh! Yes. Then you say no, no and two fifty.
[Matthew:] What? Shall I bring the phone in and you phone up?
[Laura:] British National...
[Matthew:] I don't wanna phone, it's a car!
[Matt:] No, well don't bother then! Forget it then!
[Matthew:] And how much do you want me to pay for it?
[Matt:] Three fifty.
[Matthew:] [LAUGHTER] No way []! You won't get it for that much!
[Laura:] Wanna bet?
[Matthew:] Yep!
[Laura:] Dad?
[Matt:] What?
[Laura:] There's a red light on this thing, flashing... underneath the sign where it says record, battery.
[Matt:] Does the... have you put record in?
[Laura:] Yeah,recor, record's in.
[Matthew:] This is record.
[Laura:] But there's a, then underneath... it goes record stroke underneath it, battery.
[Matt:] That's okay.
[Laura:] I think the batteries are going down.
[Matthew:] No, they're not!
[Matt:] Don't panic!
[Laura:] Okay.
[Matthew:] Shall I phone them up and say will you accept four fifty?
[Matt:] They won't, you won't phone them up and say will accept four fifty! Phone them up and say will you accept three fifty! And I don't wanna hear any more about it!
[Matthew:] Well I won't say any more about
[Matt:] Right!
[Matthew:] it then!
[Matt:] Fine! that
[Matthew:] Mrs!
[Matt:] to the dump.
[Laura:] I'm gonna watch T V. Excuse me!
[Matthew:] What sh will I say if she says no.
[Matt:] You say right, fine, keep it!
[Matthew:] [LAUGHTER]... What do I say if she said yes?
[Matt:] Say right, give me the, give me an address. It's a buyer's market Matt! It always has been, it always will!
[Matthew:] Mm. Oh well.
[Matt:] If they're desperate enough to sell they'll flog it! Don't you worry about that!
[Matthew:] Aha.
[Matt:] Matt!
[Matthew:] Yeah?
[Matt:] You stick to that?
[Matthew:] Yeah?
[Matt:] What she say?
[Matthew:] He said it's not his car, he's gotta... they've still got, he's gonna get his brother to phone up tonight.
[Matt:] And what did you say?
[Matthew:] I said we... what's the lowest you can take for it? And he said I can't say. It doesn't want to, it's my brother's. He said... I'll get him to... ring you... back tonight.
[Matt:] So, did you give him the number?
[Matthew:] Yeah!
[Matt:] See it wasn't difficult was it?
[Matthew:] It's embarrassing though! Will you accept three hundred and fifty for it?
[Matt:] How is it? You get it for three hundred and fifty, it's a hundred and fifty odd pounds saved innit?
[Matthew:] Yeah, but what if he says no, shall I say four hundred?
[Matt:] No.
[Matthew:] And if he says no to it.
[Matt:] He won't say no! No!
[Matthew:] What?
[Matt:] You won't say... will you accept four hundred?
[Matthew:] If he says three fifty shall I sa, just put the phone down?
[Matt:] No.
[Matthew:] What shall I say?
[Matt:] Just say right, we'll have it! Give, where's your address?
[Matthew:] What if he says... no to three fifty?
[Matt:] If he says no to three fifty say well, just keep it!... I'll speak to him if he phones up.
[Matthew:] No!... It gets real hot there! just talking to that. So
[Matt:] Why?
[Matthew:] Just don't like talking to them.
[Matt:] Well you're not gonna get, be able to get marks if it comes to that son!
[Matthew:] What? Ho, you gotta negotiate about cars and prices?
[Matt:] No, you don't got to negotiate, you've got to... be able to speak to people on a... regular basis.
[Matthew:] Oh I know that! But whe... say you said three hundred and fifty pound
[Matt:] Yes.
[Matthew:] for that car
[Matt:] You've gotta be able to... not live in fear to say... state your opinion. And just state what you think is right! And I think three hundred and fifty pound is a reasonable price for that.
[Matthew:] Alright!
[Matt:] Don't you?
[Matthew:] Not really, no!
[Matt:] Right, give me a... larger headed... lever. One with a bigger head than that. Slightly bigger.
[Matthew:] Cor! I think a reasonable price would be about three hundred and ninety.
[Matt:] Well I don't have three ninety... so
[Matthew:] The new Auto Trader's come out now innit?
[Matt:] Don't know. Matt..
[Matthew:] Well if we... we got last month a one. We might this month's edition.
[Matt:] Matt... well ho how much are they?
[Matthew:] Yeah I know but I bought this one... erm thingy. What's the date?... Dad?
[Matt:] Well i it's Friday today, you bought that yesterday.
[Matthew:] No I bought it... yesterday.
[Matt:] Correct! Cos you wanted to buy it Wednesday and I said no... the new one will be out tomorrow.
[Laura:] Well do you do... how to... move this?
[Matt:] Watch your!
[Laura:] Yeah?
[Matt:] What's it like for nails in this?
[Matthew:] What, it doesn't cut off.
[Matt:] [shouting] It was a bloody nail there []!
[Matthew:] Oh.
[Laura:] [singing] []
[Matt:] Oh Jesus Christ Almighty! What a lazy, idle, shitty twat!... [shouting] Matt []!
[Matthew:] Coming.
[Matt:] Get me a bag son?
[Matthew:] What?
[Matt:] Get me a rubbish bag son, will you?
[Matthew:] A what?
[Matt:] A rubbish bag!
[Matthew:] There you are.
[Matt:] Put it on there. Just... hold on a minute!, just look at all that stuff on there! Lift the bag up. Keep it away from the pots and pans.
[Matthew:] Yeah, well Chris must have done it!... What are you shaking your head for?
[Matt:] Because
[Matthew:] Is that a bad attitude?
[Matt:] Yes, it's a bad attitude!
[Matthew:] It's the wrong attitude.
[Matt:] Tell Laura to get him to move it please? [shouting] Laura []!
[Laura:] Coming!
[Matt:] Come in here love please?
[Matthew:] I expect this....
[Matt:] Dunno.
[Matthew:] Well... there's lots of rubbish.... Is that it?
[Matt:] Yep. If you don't stand properly Matt!
[Matthew:] I am!
[Matt:] Laura, take all this. Laura, come here!
[Laura:] Yeah?
[Matt:] All these pots and pans put them in that corner over there for me
[Laura:] Yeah.
[Matt:] please? You can help her. Bring the hoover over here Laura.
[Matthew:] Does mum know we've got the oven?
[Matt:] ... Look, we're all doing the same thing at different
[Laura:] There!
[Matt:] Yeah she does know about the.
[Laura:] We had to phone her up to get the number.
[Matt:] Plug it in Laura.
[Laura:] Yeah, I know.
[Matthew:] Pardon Laura?
[Laura:] We had to phone her up to get the code.
[Matthew:] Phone who up?
[Matt:] Plugged in?
[Laura:] Mum. Aha.
[Matt:] Switch it on now.
[Matthew:] Code for what?
[Laura:] The, I don't know! [hoovering]
[Matthew:] Dad?
[Matt:] What?
[Matthew:] Shall I try and get up early tomorrow and start the car? Off.
[Matt:] If you want.
[Matthew:] Yeah. Great!... I'm gonna start writing this letter for... then.
[Matt:] That, what I say Matt you won't have no problem.
[Matthew:] I don't care! I'll do it for anyway.
[Matt:] Have you done your jobs?... Ah?
[Matthew:] Pardon?
[Matt:] Have you done your jobs?
[Matthew:] I'm gonna do them when you go out.... [singing] []
[Laura:] What I want to know is just what did it take to get him to do that?
[Matt:] Patience.... Just keep trying Laura. Perseverance. Something that seems to be sadly lacking in this house. Matt! I want this whole... this place tidied by the time I get back please?
[Matthew:] Right. I'm gonna do it....
[Matt:] I won't be long.
[Laura:] Dad?
[Matt:] What?
[Laura:] You know you were going to shopping.
[Matt:] Yes. Get down to there!
[Laura:] What and
[Matthew:] But
[Matt:] Just get down!
[Matthew:] we're going which is exactly what I was gonna say. I said we'll
[Matt:] You coming down?
[Matthew:] I have
[Matt:] No you're staying here. Getting your arse up there and!
[Matthew:] Oh yes. If that man phones then we'll... say say what you said
[Matt:] What?
[Matthew:] and I'll say... he said... leave it... he left a message for... to say, will you accept three fifty? If so... can we have
[Matt:] What's your address?
[Matthew:] your address, and we will see you sometime Saturday. If... that is inconvenient with my dad... when he comes back... I'll... I'll ring you back, right?
[Matt:] Just say.
[Matthew:] Well yeah! I will ask him to ring me back
[Matt:] Fine. Play it by ear Matt. Where's the poxy car keys now!
[Matthew:] I dunno. Is it... where they should be!
[Laura:] Dad, you don't care about... not getting that one do you?
[Matt:] Well
[Laura:] Don't care! You just wanna get any car.
[Matthew:] There's plenty of Audis about Laura!
[Matt:] Mm.
[Laura:] I know that Matt! Could be... the same car as... ours.
[Matthew:] [singing] Nah ah ah ah ah errrr... doo doo de doo... aah
[Laura:] Shut up!
[Matthew:] aah []
[Laura:] [screaming] Shut up []!
[Matthew:] [singing] I hope you love my [] [singing] [] [shouting] Ah []!... [singing] []
[Laura:] [shouting] Get off! that window []! You didn't!
[Matthew:] Nee nee nee nee nee! Nee nee nee nee nee nee! Nee nee nee! Nee nee nee [shouting] Oh, oh ooh, ooohh []!
[Laura:] [screaming] Ah ah ah ah ahh []!
[Matthew:] !!
[Laura:] [crying] Oh shut up you []!
[Matthew:] Nee nee nee nee nee nee nee
[Laura:] Pig! Shut up! [shouting] Go and get changed []!
[Matthew:] Nee nee nee nee
[Laura:] [shouting] Get knotted []!
[Matthew:] [LAUGHTER]... Nee na nee nee Just gonna put the light on.
[Matt:] It's not in the ki... it's holder.
[Jan:] I know....... dinner's all ready.... It's only a black one....... as soon as they work out the......
[Matt:] That... jumper.
[Jan:] What's wrong with that?
[Matt:] The one lying on top of that... cupboard is.
[Jan:] Did you phone Christopher?
[Matthew:] I thought Chris was phoning you?
[Jan:] He's gone out for a while. He's got a lot of work.
[Matt:] Just don't feel like doing anything. Do you like swedes? Parsnips? Do you?
[Jan:] She had parsnips last time.
[Matt:] All in there.
[Jan:] I know.
[Matt:] Well you've got a strong constitution cos I'm not cooking it again.... This is brilliant!
[Jan:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] It is!... This guy is... making millions! [singing] Nations, the joyful to the right []!
[Jan:] It's all money, Pope and that!
[Matt:] [singing] And and peace and life, a story of peace and life [].
[Jan:] I think I'll go and hang the washing out!... No you shouldn't put, bleach your toilet.
[Matthew:] Why?
[Jan:] The reason why it.
[Laura:] [singing] []
[Matt:] Did you not know that?
[Jan:] No.... [yawning] Oh []!... do you?
[Matt:] [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]... You know all the psychiatrists will tell you that comedy is a kind of... biological mechanism to... save us from... all the things we fear most, death being one of the, you know, the most... is just a spit away you see.... It's a bit loud isn't it?
[Matthew:] No it's not!
[Jan:] What darling?
[Matt:] Do you like cabbage?
[Jan:] Yeah I do. Can I help?
[Matt:] A lucky person!
[Jan:] A bit too loud, probably too loud she wants you to turn it off.
[Matt:] Start thinking about that. Oh... the stuff.
[Jan:] You what?
[Matt:] He was ready to start arguing last night again.
[Jan:] Oh! going on like he is.
[Matt:] That's it!
[Jan:] You didn't say nothing?
[Matt:] No, because he wanted... to take the car out. Erm... there was no way he could sort of get out it. Oh something together now.
[Jan:] And it's
[Matt:] ... What the hell will that do? Eh? What, Eh? How long will it be?
[Jan:] About half an hour or so. Be about half an hour or so. Is that alright?
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Jan:] Mm? Won't be here till six o'clock will they?
[speaker002:] Eh?
[Jan:] I said you won't be here till six o'clock.
[speaker002:] Probably.
[Jan:] No.
[Matt:] I'm not being
[Jan:] No.
[Matt:] I'm just going up to fix these drawers, okay?
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[Jan:] You nearly finished them?
[Matt:] Matt... come out of there man!
[Jan:] You can take them with you. Be alright on the beach won't you?. Don't you want them? They don't exactly suit you do they?
[speaker002:] No.
[Jan:] .... Tissues
[speaker002:] Mm?
[Jan:] Tissues.... Oh that's a new commercial but I don't think very good. Have you seen it?
[speaker002:] Oh with all of the town's comers?
[Jan:] Yeah. Oh it's quite good that.
[Matthew:] Did you want me? Don't!... Ready now!
[Jan:] Right. What do you want?
[Laura:] No.
[Matthew:] Take me Thursday.
[Jan:] Ah!
[speaker002:] Oh Laura's!
[Laura:] [shouting] Yeah []?
[speaker002:] Sit there.
[Matthew:] What about mine?... Dad's bought a new car.
[speaker002:] And how much is it?
[Matthew:] Five hundred.
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jan:] Alright?
[speaker002:] Yeah, that's fine.
[Jan:] Come on! Bib bib Laura! Oh how are you?
[speaker002:] Hiya!
[Laura:] Thank you mummy!
[Jan:] Alright?
[Matthew:] Yes.
[Jan:] You alright? Did you go to church.
[speaker002:] Yes.
[Jan:] I couldn't get out of bed!
[speaker002:] Oh!
[Jan:] Want a coffee?
[speaker002:] No thanks.
[Matthew:] And er... that as well
[Jan:] It's alright I'm going to go
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[Jan:] on Tuesday. That depends... if we can get the telly.
[speaker002:] How are you today flower?
[Jan:] I'm not well!
[speaker002:] What... pains in your tummy?
[Jan:] Just don't feel. I don't know. I'm just.
[speaker002:] You're terrible with the you know, don't you?
[Jan:] Yes., she's alright actually.
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]... Well I know. I do as well don't I,?
[Jan:] [LAUGHTER]... She says, when we get up and then doesn't get up.
[speaker002:] What are all those?
[Jan:] Ah, what a shame!
[speaker002:] Cor right!
[Jan:] She's not, she's not well... so she's just come again.
[Matthew:] Pardon?
[Jan:] Laura's not well cos she back with them.
[Matthew:] And she said take up the... that A B C one.
[Jan:] Okay.
[speaker002:] Should go up see them.
[Matthew:] Mm.
[speaker002:] Give [LAUGHTER] dad a fright []!
[Matthew:] I wouldn't!
[speaker002:] I've just bathed her in... cold water to get the temperature down cos she's. Says she finds it hard to.... Oh!
[Laura:] Just over there.... Mummy!
[speaker002:] Careful! Mind the books!... Couldn't get my car out last time.
[Jan:] No. Right. [shouting] She's not getting up []!
[speaker002:] [shouting] Katie come down []!
[Matthew:] Mum! She's playing with with me.
[speaker002:] Playing with with me! She's she's up. So what, so what is Laura doing? Has Matt got some?
[Jan:] She's got some and told her to stay at home.... She doesn't wanna go.
[speaker002:] Does she not?
[Jan:] Really hard work! Go home and think about it. Doesn't help, she knows she's got a sore throat, she's asked to stay home because she was complaining she wa... funny in her tummy.
[speaker002:] What's that doing?
[Jan:] It's... to tape....... Well I thought it would be good to have a lie in. Car, though that woke me up.
[speaker002:] ... Thought you had it fixed? It leaks?
[Jan:] No it won't be I mean
[speaker002:] come across and got the car going... I guarantee.... Interfering
[Matthew:] Oh!
[speaker002:] !
[Jan:] What's up? Chasing you out are they?
[Matthew:] No, I'm just having a.
[Jan:] Right.
[speaker002:] Fit, she'll have a fit!
[Matthew:] Is this your chewing gum packet?
[Jan:] What colour is it?
[speaker002:] Blue.
[Matthew:] Still got one left.
[Jan:] Oh I bet there's.
[Matthew:] Still here?
[Jan:] No it started pouring!
[speaker002:] Please change it?
[Matthew:] This is good!
[Jan:] Right. So, it's funny....
[Matthew:] Pardon? That's a movie.
[Jan:] [yawning] Well you ah, you ah, have you [], have you seen it before?
[Matthew:] Yeah.
[Jan:] Just gonna phone them up next door. Don't pull those off.... So you gonna tell them tomorrow. You can tell. I wouldn't... worry about that. Would you?
[speaker002:] No.
[Jan:] About time!
[speaker002:] Mm mm, mm.
[Jan:] Oh well. You think it, I said did we owe them?
[speaker002:] ?
[Jan:] No. I said why do you work full time? She said... nothing to worry about.... Her work is.... Tell you about him?
[Matt:] Don't wanna wake my baby up. sort of, aye!
[Jan:] I got her puffed out! [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Oh.. No she said erm... No, you're alright chuck!
[Jan:] No it's alright I gotta do
[speaker002:] I can show him.
[Jan:] bananas...., put the kettle on I suppose.... Ooh! Ooh!
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jan:] Some more butter?
[speaker002:] Mm?
[Jan:] Under.
[speaker002:] Seem to put on in jail or in the.
[Jan:] Mm. No it's alright I've... I'm keeping an eye on that out there. I remember watching that as well. Mm?
[speaker002:] And get out? [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] Get out!
[Jan:] Miserable!... No, cos they're actually going in I think.
[speaker002:] ... Is that wall gonna be?
[Matt:] , yeah. Yeah I'll take down. Aye, it's.
[speaker002:] Oh!
[Matt:] Yeah, agency.
[speaker002:] Eh?
[Matt:] Be there before the.
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[Matt:] And he
[speaker002:] He's only... only third in line, I mean you can't... Just because he's
[Matthew:] Just popped, have you?
[speaker002:] Have you just stuck that with?
[Matt:] Go on. Eh, what is it? That's... that's what they, they mix them up and sell them.
[speaker002:] Oh is that what you read in the book? You mean
[Matt:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] on the?
[Matt:] ... We didn't of this one. Look, cos... they're like
[speaker002:] Take that bloody top off! Oh no! These things are...
[Jan:] Well... it... we'll have to try and get them.
[Matt:] She was er... your mother down there?
[speaker002:] Yeah. But...
[Jan:] You're really pushing that aren't you?
[speaker002:] . Nice there though innit?
[Jan:] Matt what are you doing?
[Matt:] That table
[Jan:] I want... have you got that thick enough?
[Laura:] Hey!.......... Ooh! Can't!
[speaker002:] [shouting] Come on Katie! Katie! Yeah. Come on []! Yeah alright.... See you! Well I'm going to Texas now.
[Jan:] Oh?
[speaker002:] Yeah. Yeah.
[Jan:] And Katie?
[Matt:] Are you?
[Jan:] You what Matt?
[Matthew:] That in undercoating.
[speaker002:] Undercoating.
[Jan:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] We've got all that haven't we? And go some
[Jan:] Got to get some red to match Katie.
[speaker002:] Right well we'll see you
[Jan:] No.
[speaker002:] .
[Jan:] Bye bye!
[speaker002:] the minister.
[Jan:] Eh?
[speaker002:] The minister.
[Matthew:] The Spitting Image.
[speaker002:] The minister.
[Jan:] Good old!
[speaker002:] Well that
[Matt:] Sa, say he got let off?
[Jan:] Yeah.
[Laura:] I think he could.
[Matt:] Have we got.
[Jan:] Yeah.
[Laura:] Yeah,... downstairs, Clara... and erm... and one just carried on going straight and I got seventeen things that I can eat again. I got... one's a fudge....
[Jan:] How do you clamp the wall then? Mm?
[Matthew:] Ooh ooh!
[Jan:] Oh!
[Matt:] . Right?
[Jan:] Right.
[Laura:] Ha!
[Matt:] Have you seen the.
[Jan:] Mm?
[Matt:] It's loosened... off.
[Jan:] Ta ta then! Ta ta Debbie!
[Matt:] Ee ee!
[speaker002:] Bye!
[Jan:] See you tomorrow.
[Matthew:] See you! Bye!
[speaker002:] Ta ta
[Jan:] See you!
[speaker002:] then!
[Matthew:] Bye!
[Jan:] Bye!
[Matt:] Bye!
[speaker002:] Bye! Bye!
[Matt:] [whistling]
[speaker002:] [shouting] Bye bye Laura []!
[Laura:] Bye!
[Jan:] That's good.
[Matt:] [whistling]...
[Jan:] Mm? Well that's the salt. Yeah. We'll have to wash up these.... Forgetting about the. ring you up?
[Matt:] yeah,
[Jan:] You was what?
[Matt:] Those cars.
[Jan:] Oh right.
[Matt:] Yeah, I meant to tell you....
[Jan:] I don't know if she's alright. Let me see. That's why being a job.
[Matt:] Yeah, and.
[Jan:] Ah, no a technical.
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Jan:] Yeah. Who's is this? I heard.... Not having much luck is he?
[Matt:] No....
[Jan:] When?
[Matt:] I said that....... don't like that... fed up with up that! Said that's shit!
[Jan:] Right.
[Matt:] Get hold of the right side.
[Matthew:] Well, gotta do that.... Dad where's my photograph? I want my... Oh down there. Oh!
[Matt:] Is it?
[Jan:] . Eh?
[Matt:] Who?
[Jan:] Ben.... No she's dressed.... Have a bath first.
[Matthew:] That... look at that! He comes...
[Laura:] Dad?
[Matt:] What?
[Laura:] You ought to be sa, helping me today.
[Matt:] Do you know what you want love?
[Jan:] No. No, I'm sure I don't want any.
[Matt:] Have your mum and dad remembered?
[Jan:] . Oh! Sod!
[Matt:] Do you wanna?
[Jan:] That one goes nice across there is that what you're doing? As you come up down the road... on the left ha, on the left hand side but you gotta go down there
[Matt:] ?
[Jan:] ... they look really nice!
[Matt:] Which house?
[Jan:] ... the bay window.
[Matt:] Well why didn't you say that? Come here!
[Jan:] What,? Matt?
[Matt:] What?
[Jan:] Would you say there was anything wrong with? Ha?
[Matt:] I don't mind. Aye, they must be the same. I was only having a joke! I'm sorry I opened my mouth!
[Jan:] Oh that's fine. [whispering] [].
[Matt:] Well we're getting there.
[Jan:] Pardon?
[Matt:] [whistling]
[Jan:] I'm gonna go and watch the telly! Ooh ooh ooh! [banging] Your daughter just said... I've got a, I think it's because I'm hungry!
[Matt:] Jesus Christ!
[Jan:] And... we were talking about... [banging] And I need, feel really hungry now. Oh! She's. I think she'll be better off... if she's got an upset stomach. But with that. She's got what she wanted. She's just been in here and told me that my Yorkshire pudding! Quite cross!
[speaker002:] , she was thinking, what she's going out today?
[Jan:] Yeah. Or whether she's fit..
[speaker002:] No, it takes me thinks she's hungry because she's not had er
[Jan:] Well she's... really hasn't got.
[Matt:] Well she's go, hardly eat dinner.
[Jan:] No. I dunno, I think she's... probably complaining about! She said that she was probably had stomach ache because she was hungry.
[speaker002:] So La Laura now thinks got a sore stomach because she's hungry. But she's not hungry!
[Matt:] Oh! No point in her her dinner. [banging]
[Jan:] Yeah,....? All about that C N D! Bob said... that... cos I don't need to know. Bob wanted... chicken tikka massala... and then he said... give me the list and wrote down on it two chicken tikka massalas... so I look on that and I can't see anything... two chicken kormas, one... and two chicken tikka massalas. What have you got this for she goes? She said to John where's the forks? Now I thought I left the list in the restaurant because the blokes. She says I wrote down two Keema naans or whatever,. So she said you didn't. He said don't call me a liar! I did! [banging] He was so arrogant! Weren't he Matt?
[Matt:] Yep! I'd get him as well.
[Jan:] A bi, a bit of bastard! And shut up, he said! I know I'm wrong! Okay, shut up!
[speaker002:] ... No, he got down alright.
[Jan:] No I, I got so much here I thought it would be fair to with you.
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[Jan:] I mean they're pretty good with them actually. But I'm gonna have to go home.... that's Great Ormond's
[Matt:] Why are we having to... standing about with no light on?
[Jan:] Well the o, well more or less from the time we got in she's not gonna go back to that place
[Matt:] Here a! sick of this! Will I put you across my knee and give you a wee smack on the arse! Think I won't do it!
[Jan:] Choo!
[speaker002:] Look at them. Mm?
[Jan:] Don't they look alright?
[speaker002:] Mm mm. Yeah.
[Jan:] It's not re, not ready yet.
[Matt:] I'm.
[Jan:] Oh... oh those have been twisted haven't they?
[Matt:] Yeah. Well they would do that. Think of the things with on.
[Jan:] You are. Well why bother when you tell him off? They do it anyway! Right, well what do you think of it at the front? I haven't really thought about.
[speaker002:] Oh well! You never need it.
[Jan:] Erm... tell me again, what he said? About that bit... it's that bit.
[speaker002:] It was a, it was a relationship... you know?
[Jan:] Mm.
[speaker002:] They thought... maybe... but then it was only Richard who accept in the relationship.
[Jan:] The answer was no although he was eternally grateful.
[speaker002:] ... no I didn't. Thing is, he don't care. See because he thinks, he thinks. Notice that he the relationship wasn't going well...
[Jan:] Well his is a bit much innit?
[speaker002:] See he thought that... he was just telling us... doesn't want a relationship.... He thinks that you don't care. You do really. If he says no, I'm gonna go up to her and say. I don't care! But it isn't fair cos you do. It is all my youth work.
[Jan:] Aha.
[speaker002:] Should know the difference. finish with him. But then he said... seen some people
[Jan:] Mm mm.
[speaker002:] Cos, you'll probably get stuck relationship. Do you know what I mean?
[Jan:] They do talk as though the perfect relationship.
[Laura:] Mum!
[Jan:] Oh she's off!
[speaker002:] Lyn, don't be silly, keep it!
[Jan:] Oh well... haven't even got a lot.
[speaker002:] See you!
[Jan:] [LAUGHTER] Ah []!
[Laura:] Mum!
[speaker002:] Otherwise
[Jan:] What?
[speaker002:] if my for my best friend Jan
[Jan:] Well I believe that'll
[speaker002:] Ah.
[Jan:] . We went up to Wales, Wales.
[speaker002:] Yes. Oh my God!
[Jan:] Actually at least it's not hard.
[speaker002:] Future husband. He's in rich blood.
[Jan:] Let's just say no, probably cos
[speaker002:] Will she talk to him?
[Jan:] Yeah.... Come on.
[speaker002:] Better do it with your on Saturday. Came up to my place on Monday and
[Matt:] Oh sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
[speaker002:] Cos, it's only about school anyway with the.
[Jan:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] Cos hopefully, I mean, I find they've influenced us going to church.
[Jan:] Yeah I know.
[speaker002:] You lot went round for it?
[Jan:] Sharon is the contact.
[speaker002:] That's aren't you?
[Jan:] Why?
[speaker002:] Cos you gotta put it down tomorrow this. Oh yes, but I know this but. Mind you, whatever the night life there won't be very many things like that.
[Jan:] Right then! Let's see. Ooh. Get off! Look.
[speaker002:] Yeah.... through there.
[Jan:] Eh?
[speaker002:] You really think I'm going on it?
[Jan:] Well he said you might.
[speaker002:] Well that's what I thought, I might, cos I don't like him anyway. First of all he don't believe I'm going. Dad
[Jan:] Mm.
[speaker002:] wouldn't go in on there.
[Jan:] Wouldn't he?
[speaker002:] Then you wonder, it's dead for both of u, our relationship is there, it's like a...
[Jan:] Oh Gosh!
[speaker002:] Ooh! Dishwasher.
[Jan:] Yes. Gotta go soft with him.
[speaker002:] Yes.
[Jan:] Two bags a week..... starts, that's what I say?
[speaker002:] You what?
[Christopher:] Matt! Matt!... Matt!
[Matthew:] What?
[Christopher:] Where's your slippers?
[Matthew:] Ah?
[Christopher:] Where are your slippers?
[Matthew:] I'm wearing them. Wear your own ones!
[Christopher:] Oh there's his... tape. Alright if I keep these on mum, I'm not going
[Jan:] Yeah, that's fine.
[Christopher:] Oh! Lo, I don't want one. Take the.
[Jan:] You want them boiled don't you?
[Christopher:] Yeah, please.
[Jan:] Girls! at the top of the stairs if you want them!
[Laura:] Thanks.
[Jan:] How many do you want Matt?
[Matthew:] Three.
[Jan:] This is the.... [yawning] Oh oh []!... So you wouldn't mind the shoes this afternoon?
[speaker002:] Er, no.... I don't think that's best. And wallpaper Kenny's room. Well the one wall should be
[Jan:] Want a biscuit?
[speaker002:] Mm. All I know is that the
[Jan:] ... Right.
[speaker002:] I'll let you buy... one.
[Jan:] Are there any apples left? Eh?
[speaker002:] perpetually.
[Jan:] [LAUGHTER]... she was looking for them. Found another one.
[speaker002:] See the bottom half strikes my wrist. Sort of little.
[Christopher:] Who? No that's for two.
[speaker002:] I'm not having one, I'm having porridge.
[Jan:] Well you've got school tomorrow.
[speaker002:] Begging... , ha!
[Christopher:] Come and for me.
[Matt:] [whistling]
[speaker002:] I just don't know whether to stay half an hour after the. , comic relief.
[Matt:] Mm?... Check them. Do you want me to do that? Ah?
[speaker002:] I've not had this before.
[Matt:] Got any Matt?
[Matthew:] Yep! I sorted all the out.
[Matt:] Look at these tools and all that through here!
[speaker002:] Well I did see that.
[Matt:] Matt!
[Matthew:] Oh oh!
[Matt:] Matt!
[Matthew:] Coming.
[Matt:] Get in there! What's that?
[Matthew:] What?
[speaker002:] Lovely mush! Hello. He can't hear me.
[Christopher:] Enough!
[speaker002:] Hello!
[Matt:] that wall, put all
[Jan:] Hello.
[Matt:] these
[speaker002:] Superman
[Matt:] against that. Put them up against that wall there.
[Matthew:] Right.
[Matt:] Look at me. That's right.
[speaker002:] Are you still trying mum?
[Jan:] Aha. All these have gotta go.
[speaker002:] Erm, them as well.
[Jan:] Eh? Oh yeah.... That's about right. [banging]
[Matthew:] Don't you dare knock that!
[Laura:] Dad! Can I help you?
[Jan:] Right.
[speaker002:] Mm?
[Jan:] That's right.
[Laura:] Hello dad!
[Matt:] Laura, stay down there.
[speaker002:] Do those as well. On Friday.
[Jan:] So where are you going?....
[speaker002:] Is it made with milk? Tasty isn't it?
[Jan:] Mm.
[speaker002:] Laura!
[Jan:] Oh, are you off now? Sa cycle with daddy.
[Matt:] ... how do you do that?
[speaker002:] Well leave it till Ian comes in.
[Jan:] Mhm.
[speaker002:] You ready? What's
[Jan:] Mm?
[speaker002:] What do you think of photograph?
[Jan:] But you do box
[speaker002:] Yeah. And he didn't finish my wall.
[Jan:] Be nice won't it?
[speaker002:] There's some in the bathroom, but we are gonna take that door off and have
[Jan:] Mm.
[speaker002:] a... pine coloured... sliding one.
[Jan:] I know what you mean.
[speaker002:] This little concertina job. Looks nice in that space on that.
[Jan:] Mm.
[speaker002:] Looks good! [banging] What do you call that?
[Jan:] I don't know.
[speaker002:] ... Let's have a look?
[Jan:] Mm? [loud banging] Hey!
[Laura:] It wasn't them.
[speaker002:] Those.
[Laura:] Mm.
[speaker002:] Mm.
[Matthew:] Have I got meatballs again?
[Jan:] Hey?
[Matthew:] I don't want some... pieces of cake.... That pan with the chicken on needs to go in the dishwasher.
[Jan:] On it's own.... Ask your dad if he wants to come and cut the chicken please?
[Matthew:] Dad, can you come and cut the chicken?
[Matt:] Yep!
[Matthew:] Well that's gonna clog the dishwasher up.
[Jan:] Matt, will you leave the dishwasher alone!
[Matthew:] Yeah.
[Jan:] Do you want more parsnips than that?
[Matthew:] Yeah, please. Hungry.
[Matt:] Get the last bus. Yeah, ask the bus man?
[Christopher:] Alright. Is that alright?
[Matt:] Yeah, it's alright. Go on
[Christopher:] Anyway, I'll go and get
[Jan:] Out the way please. Go on, chop!
[Matt:] Thank you.
[Jan:] Right, that one must go.
[Christopher:] Alright. Yeah.
[speaker002:] How do you get on with the dreaded? ?
[Matthew:] Mm.
[speaker002:] no. In the air game...
[Matthew:] Dad, can I make these up?
[Matt:] No. Yeah, go on then.
[Jan:] Oh no! Oh don't.
[Matt:] Some there. It's too late now.
[Laura:] It's come out.
[Matt:] Come Laura!
[Jan:] Constructive to such a
[Matt:] [cough]... Yep!
[Jan:] Only.
[Matt:] Want a leg? Yeah.
[speaker002:] I don't mind, I don't, the chicken so
[Matt:] So
[Matthew:] It hasn't got any!
[Matt:] Like that.
[Laura:] Too late now.
[speaker002:] Are we going home now?
[Matt:] You can get... a little bit.
[Matthew:] Can I have lots of chips?
[speaker002:] Might as just well stay.
[Jan:] Come out the way poppet.
[Matthew:] Can I have a le, leg of chicken?
[Christopher:] Not.... Lots of chips.
[Matt:] Do you want the parson's bum?
[Christopher:] Yeah, I don't the... the chicken's
[Matt:] Oh
[Christopher:] bum. You've got the bum!
[Matt:] No dice!
[Matthew:] [LAUGHTER]
[Matt:] ?
[speaker002:] No.
[Jan:] No, you have a leg love.
[Laura:] I'll have a leg.
[Jan:] Will you?
[Matt:] Do you like stuffing Debs?
[speaker002:] Yeah, no Matt.
[Matt:] Do you want... some leg son?
[Matthew:] Yeah!
[Matt:] Do you want some stuffing?
[Matthew:] No.
[Matt:] When you say that
[Christopher:] Say no thank you.
[Matt:] You don't want one? You don't want one?
[Jan:] No he doesn't.
[Christopher:] Just ask me what I like.
[Matt:] Is that enough chicken?
[speaker002:] Aha.
[Christopher:] chicken.
[Matthew:] Dad will do you.
[Christopher:] And watch daddy's chicken.
[Matt:] Want a leg Pat?
[speaker002:] No.
[Jan:] No she doesn't. Can you cut it up really small?
[Matt:] Yes.
[Matthew:] Hey!
[Matt:] I'm afraid there most of it's bust.
[speaker002:] Will Matt like this piece?
[Matt:] Go on take that away Matt.
[Laura:] You haven't.
[Matthew:] Go in there.
[speaker002:] I'm hungry as well.
[Jan:] Well, well Matt
[speaker002:] What happens now?
[Laura:] Just eat.
[speaker002:] Save that fucking cabbage!
[Jan:] He eats this.
[Matt:] He eats this.
[Laura:] He eats baby food!
[Matt:] Yep! Baby Carly's food.
[speaker002:] That's right.
[Laura:] No baby
[speaker002:] Baby
[Laura:] food!
[speaker002:] Messed up cabbage and and
[Laura:] No baby food.
[Jan:] Right, if any of the supermarkets have a baby counter anywhere here? For baby food?
[Laura:] Yeah, you have baby food!
[Matthew:] This is cabbage and carrot.
[speaker002:] Mhm.
[Laura:] Eats baby food.
[Matthew:] Yeah, cabbage and carrot! Look.
[Matt:] I can give you a leg son.
[Matthew:] Ha ha ha!
[Jan:] You
[Matt:] You got
[Jan:] You got him a leg?
[Matt:] No.
[Matthew:] I won't eat all that! No way!
[Matt:] I'm just and then you can
[Jan:] Leave what you don't want.
[Matt:] leave what you don't want. Alright, nay problem!
[Matthew:] I won't eat a leg as well.
[Jan:] Right, come here then.
[Laura:] Yeah!
[Matt:] interest, we're now
[Jan:] There's? Is that, is that Matt's or yours?
[Christopher:] Where?
[Jan:] Over there.
[Matt:] Whose is this?
[Matthew:] I don't want one.
[Christopher:] We haven't got any cheesecake.
[Jan:] Have I seen that one?
[Laura:] One... I am
[Jan:] Hello!
[Laura:] when I am ne
[Matt:] Do you want a bit of chicken Laura?
[Laura:] This is my...
[Jan:] Is that alright?
[Laura:] I don't need my
[Christopher:] I have brown
[Laura:] chairs.
[Matt:] He actually said
[Christopher:] Mine.
[Matt:] if you wanna ask Laura if she'd... what did Sheila say to you?
[Christopher:] Well I
[Matt:] Are you hungry? Yeah, and what did you say?
[Christopher:] who are
[Laura:] No.
[Matt:] Yes, you are hungry. Are you hungry?
[Christopher:] my
[Laura:] No!
[Matt:] You got a sore tummy? Have you got a sore tummy? Yeah?
[Laura:] He don't eat a lot.
[Matt:] You're full of crap Laura to be quite honest with you! You're just
[Matthew:] Yep!
[Matt:] aren't you?
[Christopher:] Erm... have you
[Jan:] We're just waiting for
[Christopher:] it's
[Jan:] Lesley and we'll have some photos
[Christopher:] er
[Matt:] This chicken's hot.
[Jan:] She's got a sore tummy.
[speaker002:] I'm reading a book.
[Christopher:] She's got a sore tummy cos she's not eating enough!
[Matt:] Give her that. Give her some. Just a wee drop of chicken Laura?
[Laura:] No.
[Matt:] Some spuds... and some peas and
[Jan:] and carrots.
[Matt:] Where's my plate?
[Jan:] You've not had enough.
[Laura:] How many shall I set the table for?
[Jan:] You kids can sit there and we'll sit at the table.... What?
[Laura:] There look! Big spoon!
[Matt:] Laura have a look at the chicken there, is that enough for you?
[Laura:] Mm.
[Matt:] Are you sure? Fine! What about some er... spuds?
[Matthew:] Gravy! Mm!
[Matt:] Want spuds?
[Laura:] Yes please.
[Christopher:] Well I've got some of Matt's.
[Laura:] Doesn't matter if you leave it, no.
[Matt:] Do you want some more? Do you want some? Take half of this.
[Matthew:] Oh, can we... take the skin off,.
[Matt:] Take the bone off... right?
[Laura:] Pardon?
[Matt:] Do you want the skin off?
[Matthew:] Yes please dad.
[Laura:] ... I'll have some mashed potato.
[Matt:] You'll have some mashed potato in a minute Laura.
[Laura:] What?
[Jan:] You can get that off.
[Laura:] Mm.
[Matt:] I'll see if that swede
[Laura:] I want
[Jan:] Swede?
[Matt:] Yes,.
[Jan:] Well it's whatever he wants.
[Matt:] Go and sit down just now Laura.
[Matthew:] I'll do the dishwasher, if you want.
[Jan:] You never mind the dishwasher!
[Matthew:] I know! I'm packing it.
[Matt:] You hear what mummy said! Leave it just now son.
[Matthew:] I'll pack it all this afternoon if you like.
[Jan:] That is on rinse, it'll cool down.
[Matt:] That enough chicken for you Matt?
[Matthew:] Yeah, that's plenty. Will that cool down a bit?
[Matt:] Yeah, when it's off.
[Jan:] ... What are you having?
[Matt:] Just that, I'll come back for it. I'm more than happy. a bit.
[speaker002:] . Matt, do you want a gravy?
[Matthew:] Please?
[speaker002:] Matt?
[Matthew:] Yes please?
[Matt:] [whistling]
[Matthew:] You didn't ask us whether we want
[Matt:] Here Laura, eat that.
[Matthew:] Chris, do you want gravy?
[Christopher:] Yep!
[Matthew:] Yes, Chris wants gravy.
[Matt:] Leave that.
[Jan:] We're gonna get a knife and fork now.
[Matt:] You sit down there son.
[Jan:] When? Take the salt and pepper in.
[Matt:] And that is... nice bits of skin on there for you son.
[Matthew:] Right, thanks.
[Jan:] She told me she wasn't having any.
[Matt:] She's not ge, okay something to eat and still. Because her stomach, it's alright if she's not been sick..... Don't mind at all. She's alright now inside.... Your dumb... comments... will not be required!
[Matthew:] Alright.
[Matt:] Okay?
[Matthew:] Okay. Yeah.
[Matt:] Sit up! If I get one more... one argument... one
[Matthew:] What am I arguing about?
[Matt:] I'm just telling you! [shouting] Laura []!
[Laura:] Coming!
[speaker002:] Is this mine?
[Matthew:] Yeah.
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Laura:] Yeah?
[Matt:] Sit at the table. for dinner.
[Laura:] Don't want any dinner.
[Matthew:] I
[Laura:] Can I start eating?
[Matt:] Yes.
[Matthew:] What do you have to do?
[Laura:] Eating.
[Christopher:] I bet she doesn't eat everything.
[Laura:] Yeah.
[Matt:] This
[Laura:] Is there
[Christopher:] Cos I
[Laura:] is there enough for two?
[Matt:] , enough for two there.
[Christopher:] Well er, mine's.
[Matthew:] Well there's not enough for two to go round so I was.
[Matt:] Sit up and stop bloody that! Sit up there!
[Matthew:] Ah!
[Matt:] Pull the chair out!
[Christopher:] Can I have some beans now?
[Matt:] Yes, it's being done just now. Salt there?
[Jan:] Yeah.
[Matthew:] [singing] Keep meaning to... she doesn't... []... [singing] He's oh oh []!
[Laura:] ?
[Matthew:] Yep.
[Laura:] Oh don't
[Matthew:] Don't pick!
[Laura:] Co, because
[Matthew:] because dad's here!
[Christopher:] Oh oh yeah!
[Laura:] Shut up!
[Matt:] You're getting malnutrition Laura! It means your body ain't got what it needs to
[Laura:] [cough]
[Christopher:] Mine has!
[Matthew:] Cos you're eating properly, Laura's not! Get stuck into it! Enjoy it! You'll feel better for it.
[Laura:] I am enjoying it.
[Christopher:] ...
[Matthew:] Enjoy it. You might likely be in bed if you don't eat that!
[Laura:] Don't force me!
[Matthew:] What?
[Laura:] I really don't want that.
[Matthew:] Well if you, you'll never eat it. So you won't be able to take it yourself.
[Laura:] I am eating it really.
[Matthew:] I know you are.
[Laura:] I'm not!
[Christopher:] You are!
[Matthew:] She will.
[Christopher:] She will!
[Laura:] I get... it's just the stomach ache.
[Matthew:] You've got stomach ache cos you're not eating! Mm!... Is that?
[Laura:] Oh well I won't eat anything at all. Got stomach ache.
[Matthew:] You've got stomach ache cos you're not eating! Yeah!
[Laura:] Leave me alone!
[Matthew:] ... I'm not sympathetic. When a new car comes well... cos me and Chris will... will have a drive of it. Cos you go of it on my own.
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Laura:] Don't wanna drive it!
[Matthew:] Then you'll miss out. You'll miss out all the good things! Cos you'll be in bed. Yeah.
[Christopher:] You're going to... try
[Matthew:] You'll again Laura.
[Laura:] But who says this?
[Christopher:] What am I doing without?... Not eating everything!...?
[Matthew:] Mhm.
[Christopher:] Too much meat! Too much meat!
[Matthew:] You're starving dude!
[Christopher:] You you're greedy!
[Laura:] Lovely!
[Matthew:] What about you then!
[Christopher:] Yeah! Yeah!
[Laura:] Well!
[Matthew:] Is that potatoes.
[Laura:] It isn't!
[Christopher:] And some more gravy.
[Matthew:] Mm!
[Christopher:] Mm! There's some
[Laura:] Don't be gross!
[Matthew:] I'm not! It won't fit in.
[Christopher:] Mm! Mm mm!
[Matthew:] [singing] Gonna wear the [].
[Christopher:] We'll eat everything..... Bit. Get out of it!... Get out!
[Matthew:] Ah, I love it!
[Christopher:] I love it!
[Matthew:] been to see it as well.
[Christopher:] Where?
[Laura:] You don't fill it in do you?
[Christopher:] Oh yeah, that was lovely! We had chicken tikka
[Matthew:] Mm.
[Christopher:] We had rice. We had some of that crisp... stuff. It was good, it was lovely though.
[Matthew:] Poppadoms.
[Christopher:] Yes. Everything!... there's nothing there.
[Laura:] You won't be able to get up. Won't eat no vegetable at all.
[Christopher:] No!
[Matthew:] Well I do.
[Christopher:] Mum! I can't eat all that.
[Jan:] What's up with you? What's up?
[Matthew:] Eat what you can!
[Laura:] You said I had to eat it all!
[Jan:] That's right.
[Christopher:] Mum, I can't eat this bit... this bit up there.
[Laura:] ... You said I had to eat it in! Well you did.
[Christopher:] Mum? I can't finish that.
[Jan:] Ah?
[Christopher:] I can't finish that much. Where?
[Matthew:] Go over to here. It's what?
[Christopher:] Mm!!
[Matt:] You had enough to eat? You sure?
[Christopher:] Mum? Mum?
[Jan:] What?
[Christopher:] Are they them crispy things?
[Jan:] What crispy things?
[Christopher:] Any more?
[Jan:] Ah?
[Matthew:] Poppadoms we had last night.
[Jan:] No.
[Christopher:] Them round things.
[Matthew:] No we haven't got any more. No, we've eaten them all.
[Christopher:] The things Where?
[Matthew:] No it's there.
[Christopher:] What the po... are they thin and crispy stuff... we er... the round stuff... in the sideboard
[Laura:] Well
[Christopher:] yeah, and I had one of them.
[Jan:] Oh you mean yesterday?
[Christopher:] Yeah. Well that
[Matthew:] Any Yorkshire puddings mum?
[Jan:] No.
[Matthew:] Ah!
[Christopher:] These crisp thing right?
[Laura:] Never had a Yorkshire pudding like this before!
[Matthew:] There wasn't any!
[Jan:] Right, now hold on.
[Christopher:] Mum? I don't want this piece of chicken.
[Matthew:] Put it in the food table, he'll have it.
[Christopher:] Mum?
[Jan:] What?
[Christopher:] Don't want this piece of chicken. Can't eat it.
[Jan:] Okay.
[Matthew:] Chicken, chicken, chicken!
[Christopher:] I'll eat the rest.
[Matthew:] Poppadom! Poppadom!
[Christopher:] You don't look at me like that!
[Laura:] Please say could you?
[Matthew:] What was that... large thing I had last night mum?
[Jan:] Ha?
[Laura:] Do you want some Chris?
[Christopher:] Yeah. No, don't wanna get
[Matthew:] Mum,
[Jan:] She's really done well.
[Matt:] Sit back... at the table properly! Eat everything! That's not enough.
[Jan:] But
[Matt:] [cough]
[Jan:] can't can't eat any more.
[Matt:] No, just you know... leave it, some leftovers there.
[Matthew:] Mum?
[Jan:] What?
[Christopher:] I wasn't gonna eat mine.
[Laura:] Only there....
[Matthew:] I'm a real big dude! I'm a real
[Jan:] Eh?
[Matthew:] !
[Laura:] Shut up! Yes!... It's, it's
[Matthew:] Ah!
[Laura:] Doesn't mean you have to take the mick!
[Matthew:] I'm not taking the mick, I'm just saying
[Laura:] You're taking the mick!
[Matthew:] You say... I'd rather have
[Laura:] Chris
[Christopher:] Why?
[Laura:] Christopher isn't sleeping with us.
[Christopher:] Erm
[Jan:] Just say when.
[Matthew:] When. Quite a lot there.
[Laura:] Oh!
[Matthew:] Erm.... Shall I tell you afterwards?
[Laura:] Not quite sure.
[Jan:] Not quite sure of anything!
[Matt:] Tell you about that one.
[Jan:] Ashley?
[Matt:] Straight up! Look!
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[Matt:] All the cassettes they gave us.
[speaker002:] Christ!
[Matt:] All the thingummies and what have you. Got a log book and
[speaker002:] And how long have you gotta have it for then?
[Matt:] A week.... Yeah.
[Christopher:] And we'll get them
[Jan:] Okay, where do you get the card?
[Christopher:] Mum?
[Laura:] Mum, might get one
[Christopher:] Mum?
[Laura:] of those cars today dad!
[Matt:] I've gotta try and find that. She might do aye!
[Jan:] Ashley!
[Christopher:] Don't! Baby Rebecca.
[Laura:] Ben.
[Jan:] What?
[Laura:] My mum might get me one of those. If we can get it.
[Jan:] Oh yeah!
[Laura:] Might get one of them big ones!
[Christopher:] Oh! Why?
[Laura:] Cos I'm collecting them.
[Christopher:] Are you?
[Laura:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] I'm collecting ordinary one!
[Laura:] Okay a mini one!
[Jan:] Oh
[Laura:] Mum, I bet you get more stickers in here
[Matt:] Yes.
[Laura:] than I should
[Jan:] Helen got some trolls from somewhere.. I dunno where... she got them from.
[Laura:] Val gets them
[Christopher:] Mm!
[Laura:] you can get some from...
[Christopher:] And... er
[Laura:] and some from Woolworth cards.
[Christopher:] ... Woolworths.
[Laura:] I I don't know if they do them in Woolworths.
[Christopher:] Yes they do!
[Laura:] Oh!
[Christopher:] I already bought in Woolworths... once!... Woolworths, they have them an... they have
[Laura:] They got them in Woolworths.
[Christopher:] the best
[Laura:] Mm.
[Christopher:] they are the most best people that
[Laura:] They're good!
[Christopher:] Yeah. And,. You know what they do? They sell out... you won't believe this... they sell... you won't believe this, they sell
[Laura:] Come in!
[Christopher:] they sell them
[Laura:] Come in!
[Christopher:] they sell them
[Laura:] That Oh no!! Ha!
[Christopher:] You're a lovely
[Jan:] Hey, don't you get all dirty!
[Laura:] Dad that recorder thing's running.
[Matt:] Yeah I know it is.
[Laura:] I didn't! Ha. Ha. Ha.
[Christopher:] Look at the
[Laura:] Come on! Oh!. Well! Oh!
[Christopher:] Oy! oy!!...... Ooh!
[Laura:] Ooh!
[Christopher:] Cor!
[Laura:] He's never even done
[Christopher:] Ooh!
[Laura:] as bad as that!
[Christopher:] Pardon?
[Laura:] That's unbelievable!... He's tricking you!
[Christopher:] Look I put my finger... in your mouth... erm... if I ever get stuck. Right, he crawls out without a fishing rod.
[Matt:] Does he?
[Laura:] Ooh! Quick!
[Christopher:] my claws.
[Laura:] Ah!
[Christopher:] Oh ya!
[Laura:] Oh!
[Matthew:] It's mine!
[Christopher:] That's mine!
[Laura:] No baby wet...!
[Christopher:] We got a excuse for me, right?
[Laura:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] the dog. Didn't he?
[Laura:] Don't think a bunny rabbit She's got a bit in her mouth.
[Jan:] Yeah, but don't go
[Laura:] Mum I got
[Jan:] You're making excuses aren't you?
[Laura:] Don't do that!
[Christopher:] What?
[Laura:] Stupid idiot! Don't you
[Christopher:] Don't you call me stupid idiot!
[Laura:] Pick it up!
[Christopher:] No!
[Laura:] Well don't, you're gonna!
[Jan:] Get up!
[Christopher:] Put it here! Don't!
[Laura:] Well that is on your mat.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Laura:] Change!
[Jan:] That's it! Yeah! How you feeling?
[Laura:] What?
[Jan:] That's that.
[Christopher:] No. Well I know but thing you've got to break this there.
[Laura:] Yeah. Oh! Ooh!... Hayley's
[Christopher:] Mm! Mm mm mm!
[Laura:] doing the?
[Jan:] Yeah. Hayley's got the
[Laura:] Oh!
[Jan:] It's kind of like
[Laura:] I've got both of them!
[Christopher:] What?
[Jan:] That's good isn't it?
[Laura:] I've got
[Jan:] Pour some hot water on and put it in the microwave.
[Laura:] Ah! Ah okay
[Jan:] If it could work or in hot water. It's lovely and warm for hours! There was a medical programme
[Christopher:] Did it still stay warm?
[Jan:] Mm!
[Laura:] Can I make a little?
[Jan:] Mhm.
[Laura:] Like daddy's.
[Jan:] Mhm.
[Christopher:] erm...
[Jan:] I've seen this stuff advertised there. In that programme that
[Christopher:] Well and I
[Laura:] Give me one!
[Jan:] seen that one, and it's really good! Quite hot.
[Laura:] Even
[Christopher:] Uses snow and er
[Laura:] Er
[Christopher:] nine thousand!
[Jan:] Oh I don't even know if that's it.
[Christopher:] He nine thousand. Mm!
[Laura:] That erm... that erm... oh it's gone away.
[Christopher:] This door is staying up.
[Laura:] It's somewhere.
[Christopher:] No it does not!
[Jan:] Well it does!
[Christopher:] No it doesn't! Cos we used to have it and... we were...! When you did that, when th... you took it off it was just black.
[Laura:] . Well yeah!
[Matt:] My jacket.
[Laura:] Dad!
[Christopher:] Dad! Dad? Where you going? When... when are my mum and dad... sto... when my mum comes back... my dad said will you take us home?
[Laura:] We can
[Christopher:] Yeah, but then we're not.
[Jan:] I will
[Christopher:] Are you all going out? Are you all going out?
[Jan:] Eddie! Come in here please?
[Christopher:] He went... ooh! Ooh!
[Jan:] Who's that?
[speaker002:] Ooh!
[Jan:] That's!
[Christopher:] Or go...
[Laura:] Ah!
[Christopher:] Can you do that?
[Laura:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] You alright?
[Laura:] Ah.
[Christopher:] You missed that.
[Laura:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] Mm.
[Christopher:] computer. We got that.
[Jan:] Eddie!
[Christopher:] I think something's upstairs.
[Jan:] What?
[Christopher:] Yeah.... Yeah, you mustn't anyway.
[Laura:] I can go... next.
[Christopher:] My mum is erm
[Laura:] Can you lift him up?
[Christopher:] in erm.......
[Jan:] I didn't know about
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] Two, three, four. One for you.
[Jan:] And getting four.
[Christopher:] Oh! Oh oh!.... Eight.
[speaker002:] I gotta take the top of my door off. Yeah.
[Matt:] I'm gonna try and get
[speaker002:] I just need, it's this bit of the door I need to take off.. So why have I put the door on the outside?
[Laura:] [LAUGHTER]... Some more haven't. Mum, you're gonna get about ten of them.
[Christopher:] Hey!
[speaker002:] Ready madam? Mm. Yeah.
[Matt:] Right! Come on, get your coat on they'll be here in a minute!
[Jan:] Me?
[Matt:] Yep!
[Jan:] Where we going?
[Matt:] You'll see. Soon after three.
[speaker002:] Will I have to break in again?
[Matt:] No, you're gonna! Right.
[speaker002:] What we going on a for?
[Matt:] Come on!
[speaker002:] Alright! Alright! I'm!
[Matt:] Do I have to explain every single thing to you! Just do what you're told and shut it! your ear bashing!
[Jan:] Come on! Hayley! Come on! Quick! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! No! If you don't be quick. Hayley!
[speaker002:] Ashley, come on then! Hayley! Give Laura a kiss. I don't want to do it! Ooh! Coming? Where we going? Hayley? Coming? Ashley, come on! Where we going? I thought he was doing that again.
[Laura:] Dad, where are we going?
[speaker002:] Come again. Perhaps dad will bring us round work next time alright? Yeah.
[Laura:] What's that for?
[speaker002:] Ah! What's that? Ready?
[Christopher:] No we're going!
[speaker002:] Ready?
[Christopher:] We're going!
[Laura:] Bye bye!
[Christopher:] We're going!
[Laura:] Where?
[speaker002:] I was just
[Christopher:] We're going!
[Laura:] No I'm not!
[Christopher:] Yes we are, now get your coat on!
[speaker002:] Alright.
[Matt:] No. I'll see you tomorrow.
[speaker002:] Alright mate. Hello Matt. See you! Yeah, I'll see you there then.
[Jan:] Bye!
[speaker002:] Bye!
[Matt:] See you later kids!
[Laura:] Bye!
[Jan:] Bye!
[Laura:] Yeah!
[Jan:] Bye!
[Matt:] Come on Laura, get your coat on we're going away in about ten minutes as well.
[Laura:] Where we going?
[Matt:] Right I'll see you later love! Alright?
[Christopher:] Where we going?
[Matt:] I'm gonna fucking smack you all round this house very shortly! Get in there!... Fucking in there! Do I have to? You ever fucking saying right I'll give you a, want a smack? Fucking stupid little... don't think you can... bloody fucking mad!... Get upstairs! You get upstairs as well!
[Laura:] Are we allowed to have the video on?
[Matt:] Fucking, fucking this morning! Before we even go any further! You were fucking lying there wrestling with your brother! I stood at that window and watched you for at least two minutes!
[Jan:] Ben.
[Matt:] You said... no I wasn't! I wasn't wrestling! What were you doing? You give me a good explanation of what you were doing?
[speaker002:] I was listening to music and he.
[Matt:] Ah! Right! So you were just lying listening to music... in between the chair and the couch?
[speaker002:] No Chris, Christopher was.
[Matt:] Were you wrestling with Matt?
[Christopher:] No, this is what happened. No.
[Matt:] ?
[Christopher:] Matt was lying on the couch and then went... and then I went... over and sat on the couch and then Matt tried sa... Matt erm pretended he was... up to him and started
[speaker002:] I was already there!
[Matt:] Shut it! Come in here! Who broke that?
[Christopher:] Well Matt blamed me
[Matt:] You were?
[speaker002:] No.
[Matt:] So you broke that off with your head?
[Christopher:] No,
[Matt:] I... It was fucking!
[Christopher:] No,!
[Matt:] It's a funny
[Christopher:] , no!
[Matt:] Well I don't, you don't see how he could do it? I don't see how you can fucking tell me barefaced lies like that! You were fucking doing it, now get up!... Never seen anything so fucking! And I say something so idiotic and stupid like that again I'll fucking all round this house!! Do you understand? If I tell you to do something... you don't say, why! Where are we going? What are we doing? Do I have to be there again?... Right. Go upstairs.... Fucking! You get worse! With the. Get the computer off!
[Laura:] It is off.
[Matt:] Just about had enough of this shite!... Fucking lying wrestling and then telling me, no, I'm not wrestling! What do you think I am a... some kind of idiot!... Ah? You take me for some kind of arsehole!
[speaker002:] No.
[Matt:] Well you better not! Go in and get your face wiped!
[Laura:] Dad?
[Matt:] Yeah?
[Laura:] The top of the tape by that Walkman's erm... on top of those two china plates.
[Matt:] Is it?