[Jane:] Oh. Thank you.
[Christopher:] Mm mm.... I've got a bit sticky there.
[Jane:] Are we gardening
[Christopher:] What?
[Jane:] today or what?
[Christopher:] Er
[Phillip:] I'll have to see what it looks.
[Christopher:] I want to go in the garden.
[Jane:] Well you've got your dungarees on so you're all ready.
[David:] Yes. I want to ride my bike.
[Christopher:] Plant some seeds.
[Jane:] Yes I suppose we could do. It's too wet to cut the grass isn't it?
[Phillip:] Well it is and I oh anyway I want to sharpen that rod on it. Er, so I'll probably go down and see Dennis, get er... a nut... so I can get it level, cos it keeps only cutting on half of the side.... This is a good one Dave.
[David:] Good. Ooh ooh! Ooh ooh!
[Christopher:] Just today. Yummy! Yummy! Yummy! Yummy!
[David:] Yeah. Well I think it's.
[Jane:] Mm mm. There's a few things we need from the shops that I didn't get yesterday.
[Christopher:] Thanks dad.
[Jane:] Oh we I thought that was made and was waiting for that.
[Phillip:] No I forgot it that.
[Jane:] I, I, I could have done that.
[Phillip:] I know you could, but.... I thought I'd done it and then realized
[Jane:] What are you doing today Chris?
[Christopher:] Dunno... yet.
[Phillip:] [clears throat]... Should have said we were watching football today.
[Jane:] Mm mm. And no plans for... Gerald's computers today?
[Christopher:] No.
[David:] I was I'll have a... for the microphone sound mum.
[Jane:] Mm. Could do. That was nice.
[Christopher:] Could Simon come round tomorrow?
[Phillip:] Simon?
[Jane:] Mm mm. Simon.
[Phillip:] Oh! Simon.... I don't know if we're gonna go out. I mean... if it's nice and... we'll either garden
[Jane:] I
[Phillip:] or we'll go out it depends what
[Jane:] Is there anything on for tomorrow?
[Phillip:] No. I must... fill up the list though because there's a lot of things coming up.
[Jane:] Oh!
[Phillip:] We've got to decide about Monday night.
[Jane:] Oh yes, we will because erm
[Phillip:] I don't know whether you can take David out to do that way or
[Jane:] No I'm going to... take the children.
[Phillip:] And it starts
[David:] No!
[Phillip:] it starts at seven thirty.
[Jane:] Yes but, at seven, it starts.
[Phillip:] Oh it starts at seven?
[Jane:] Yes. I haven't got
[Phillip:] But
[Jane:] the details yet.
[Phillip:] it looks like... you know, it goes on until at least nine thirty or ten.
[Jane:] Th the thing is though if we are going, erm... you know those details about the conservatory?
[Phillip:] Yeah.
[Jane:] The, the chap rung up to see when was a good time to come and I suggested Monday... at half past six. But I can, I took his, no don't worry, I took his telephone number because I said look, I do I'm, I'm not sure if anything might come up
[Christopher:] I won't be here.
[Jane:] and I'll
[Phillip:] He's at Cubs.
[Jane:] Yes, well that's what I thought. Then I thought it would terminate it quite quickly because erm... it start erm
[Phillip:] Yes but him and Cubs and going to
[Jane:] Oh I see, yes.
[Phillip:] the quiz don't tie in do they?
[Jane:] Yes but he could miss Cubs if we're going. But th the point is we're
[Christopher:] Erm... about Cubs, I need to take sixty P for my big badge. Er,
[Jane:] Oh! You have to pay for that do you?
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Jane:] Oh.
[Christopher:] And besides that
[Jane:] It's pretty awful anyway. But yes, did you, should you, you have taken the sixty P last week?
[Christopher:] No I forgot.
[Jane:] Oh Chrissy! I wish you'd remember these things.
[Christopher:] I said I'd bring it in this week.
[Phillip:] Chris what do you want next love?
[Christopher:] Can I have some toast please?
[Phillip:] Which sort?
[Christopher:] That sort please.
[Jane:] Do you have to take your subs and the badge money separately? Or can I just give you
[Christopher:] A pound.
[Jane:] I just give you a pound? Right. I wish you'd remembered... Chrissy. You really, when you come home ought to write these things down.
[Phillip:] One of those?
[Jane:] Yes. Well I was gonna wait till the coffee was ready. Thank you. What about the money for your camp, have you got to start taking that yet or can you take
[Christopher:] Er la
[Jane:] that a bit later?
[Christopher:] take that
[Phillip:] When's that?
[Christopher:] a bit later. Well July some time isn't it?
[Jane:] Well the camp's July, yes, but they usually want the money in before.
[Christopher:] Well, I dunno when that... pay.
[Phillip:] [cough]
[Jane:] The Lake District money has to be in this month, that's another eighty five, is it eighty fi ninety pounds? Oh and you've [LAUGHTER] got to take [] for Mrs fourteen pounds for the erm... violin exam. You're an expensive hobby Chrissy.
[Christopher:] [humming]
[Phillip:] Mm. Never mind. Go on Dave you can eat more of that.
[Jane:] Come on, there's some more yolk in that egg. Come on.
[David:] There isn't much, but I'll try my best.
[Jane:] Well I hope that's more than that.... Are you still on your vitamin Bs? Don't you like them?
[Phillip:] No they're awful!
[Jane:] And take... [LAUGHTER]... you're supposed to take two aren't you?
[Phillip:] I do!
[Jane:] What about the erm... cod liver oil one? I've just refilled the pot.
[Phillip:] The what?
[Jane:] The cod liver oil one?
[Phillip:] Oh I couldn't take, I'm not [LAUGHTER] gonna []
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] You'll be rattling [].
[Phillip:] any more.
[David:] Ow!
[Jane:] I need some more, I must get some more if they want the children to have
[Phillip:] Wha what have you done?
[Jane:] I think he's bitten the side of his mouth.
[Phillip:] Oh.
[Christopher:] Do you take... one of these vitamins as well mum?
[Jane:] No. No I don't. Cos I just take the cod liver oil ones. And they've got
[Christopher:] Well you've still got two more on the table.
[Jane:] Erm... well two of them are cod liver oil. The other one's iron.
[Christopher:] Is the other one steel and the other one copper?
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... No, not quite.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] Yes.
[David:] Steel and copper.
[Phillip:] No, erm
[Christopher:] Thank you.
[Phillip:] I'm so I'm sorry Jane which did you want? You're having that then, these?
[Jane:] No I'm going to have this cup of coffee. I'm just waiting for the coffee, you... sort out what you're doing.
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Yes Dave.
[David:] I tried my best.
[Jane:] Alright I'll finish that off
[David:] You see that
[Phillip:] Alright.
[David:] lot out.
[Phillip:] I'll get it.
[David:] So look, they're squashed at the bottom.
[Jane:] Well yes, but there's an awful lot of yolk and I don't, really don't see why you can't eat the white of the egg.
[David:] Er, can I have some more toast please Dad?
[Phillip:] Yes. This sort?
[David:] Yes dad.
[Phillip:] I'll put it under the grill.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] I thought you'd like granary for a change.... Well David likes it doesn't he? But... you don't like granary do you Chrissy?
[Christopher:] No.
[Jane:] No.
[Christopher:] Mm mm.... Just sort of Are you going to football today dad?
[Phillip:] No we're finished Chris. There's only two cup matches... against war team, I mean th
[Jane:] They play in the evenings so if it's a
[Phillip:] Vets Memorial Trophy
[Jane:] nice evening and they start at, well actually, if it's a nice
[Phillip:] But
[Jane:] evening we could all go.
[Phillip:] the second team's still playing but we've finished so er
[David:] [humming] [humming]
[Phillip:] it's a ni early end to the season.
[Jane:] Er... this is lovely you doing all the
[Phillip:] No it isn't lovely, it's awful!
[Jane:] Well, [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] It's ruined my Saturdays.
[Jane:] because the
[Phillip:] Oh! Drat! Burnt
[Jane:] Well
[Phillip:] the toast.
[Jane:] thr throw it out.
[Phillip:] No.
[Jane:] That toaster's a bit unpredictable at the moment.
[Phillip:] Well, it's supposed to adapt to all widths and it's rubbish
[Jane:] Well it, yeah.
[Phillip:] it doesn't.
[Jane:] Well we've had it over a year, it's probably had its natural life.
[Phillip:] It's.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] Mm. I told you I went and looked that up... not long ago, things at that price they only guarantee them for six months.
[Jane:] Yeah. Well we got through several toasters in a year.
[Phillip:] Yeah but they all went just over a year and we thought
[Jane:] Just over a year.
[Phillip:] we thought oh they've just got out the guarantee.
[Jane:] Mm.
[Phillip:] It's not right... they were out of it six months before then.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[David:] [humming]
[Phillip:] Dave. Don't sing while you're eating.
[Jane:] They're very now aren't they?
[Phillip:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] I wonder what they're for?
[Phillip:] I know what they're for Chris, but I don't know what he's doing with them.
[Christopher:] What are they for then?
[Phillip:] Well to help
[Jane:] Surveying.
[Phillip:] you on the surveying
[Jane:] But
[Phillip:] called ranging bows.
[Jane:] oh.
[David:] Dad.
[Christopher:] I thought they were polling stations.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] Oh! Chris []. No your school's going to be a polling station next week.
[David:] Not all of it.
[Jane:] No. Is it just the hall they're using?
[Christopher:] Mm.
[David:] Yes. Yes. Yes.
[Phillip:] Will you do that for me please?
[Jane:] Yes I will. Can I get in there? Oh dear! I better get another knife.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] Were you hungry?
[David:] Mm.
[Christopher:] You go into a polling booth do you?
[Jane:] Er, polling, yes you do, they're divided into little booths and you have a little
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] table and there's... there's a pencil attached by a string... to the desk.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Mm?
[David:] Do you remember when I told you about
[Jane:] Can you take your feet off the table!
[David:] I had to have... er dinner in Mrs 's classroom?
[Jane:] Yes.
[David:] Well, that was why... th... there was a polling... people were going to vote there, in the hall.
[Jane:] Well I don't. Yes, that was for the council election. There's local council elections, this is a general election.
[Christopher:] A general election.
[Jane:] So there'll be probably a few more people voting at er
[Phillip:] Mm mm. There'll be three instead of two.
[Jane:] They're open seven o'clock till, in the morning till ten o'clock at night. Tt.
[David:] Who?
[Phillip:] It certainly is.
[Jane:] Well that's okay.
[Christopher:] Can you
[Phillip:] Do you want me to leave yours a bit longer?
[Jane:] No, okay.
[Christopher:] Can you strain mine please.
[Jane:] No it's alright. I wanna get started. Let me just cut that for you. There you go.
[David:] Thanks mum.
[Jane:] Okay.
[David:] Looks okay though.
[Jane:] Yeah, well. It's just that you've got the er
[Phillip:] No I don't think it is.
[Jane:] No, that's alright for me anyway.
[Phillip:] Well your looks good. I think all the dregs have gone.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] Can I
[David:] Okay.
[Phillip:] have some jam?
[Jane:] I was ringing your mum up but er
[Phillip:] Chrissy, do you want lots of toast?
[Jane:] Have you finished with the Marmite David?
[Christopher:] Yes please.
[Jane:] Do you want Marmite?
[Phillip:] Which flavour?
[Jane:] Da David
[Phillip:] This one?
[Jane:] do you want Marmite on your toast?
[Christopher:] Erm,
[David:] [singing] []
[Phillip:] Can I sit down then?
[Jane:] Oh I think you can.
[David:] [humming]
[Phillip:] Dave! Please! Mouth closed. I know you've got a cold but
[David:] I've got a cold.
[Christopher:] Are we going to decorate the kitchen today?
[Jane:] Oh yes, that was what... oh, but wi with the weather being nice we ought to be out. It was a question of, if it wasn't very nice we would finish
[Christopher:] Ah.
[Jane:] I haven't really to get down it was just I, I took....
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] Oh! And the contents of that board of course. I don't want young messing up.
[Phillip:] Well I'd better check what we have to do it with.
[Christopher:] Mine is like that
[Jane:] But do
[Christopher:] like that.
[Jane:] Well no, I meant your, the one you made.
[Phillip:] I think I've got all the paint but erm
[Jane:] Oh I thought you knew whether you'd got it.
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] But if, if it's a nice
[Christopher:] That looks nice.
[Jane:] day I think we ought to be out in the garden. And we'll save the decorating for when it's raining again. Cos it's not as if we have to keep it for the weekend, I can do it during the week.
[Christopher:] No that's better.
[Jane:] Is that how you like your toast?
[Christopher:] Yes thanks.
[Jane:] underdone.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] But hot?... The two boys are up the dentist on Thursday.
[David:] Oh no!
[Phillip:] Heaven help the dentist!
[Jane:] See Alison.
[Christopher:] Who's see Alison?
[Jane:] No, we're going to see Alison. That's the dentist.
[Christopher:] Ha?
[David:] When I went in there the other week, you walk in and think... isn't she nice.
[Jane:] Then she starts messing around with your mouth.
[Phillip:] And then, then she
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] yeah, she you and she said, oh, you alright? And you think oh she's marvellous! Then she says, I'll just clean this bit of tartar off. After that you think, you... [clears throat]... right. I think that's worse than having a filling.
[David:] But dad
[Phillip:] What?
[David:] it's called decay.
[Jane:] No,
[Phillip:] No, love, no it's not.
[David:] They get this drill do they?
[Christopher:] They put them
[Phillip:] No she, it's
[Jane:] She has a scraper with a pointed er
[Phillip:] Scraper on the back of your teeth.
[Christopher:] Does it hurt?
[Jane:] It doesn't hurt, it's uncomfortable.
[Phillip:] I've got very sensitive gums... cos I've... brushed them badly
[Jane:] I
[Phillip:] for years.
[Jane:] I don't think we have to discuss that while we're eating.... All too prone to neglect so that's why we take good care of your teeth....
[Phillip:] Pardon?
[Jane:] No it's not, I didn't put it back.
[Phillip:] Oh.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... Do you really want to carry on using that mug? Can't you start on something else?
[Christopher:] I like it.
[Jane:] You like it.
[Christopher:] And my crocodile mug... as well.
[Jane:] Yes.
[Christopher:] Do you want to start using that?
[Jane:] And put your turkey mug away for a while.
[Christopher:] Yes.
[Jane:] Good.... Well David's mug is positively quiet compared to yo
[Christopher:] I'll finish this drink first though.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] Well yes []. I think we might even wash it before it goes in the... David's mug is quiet compared to... Oh have you bitten your mouth again? I think it's because you try to eat too much at one go.
[David:] Well there's this first.
[Christopher:] [sigh]
[Jane:] If you want to wear your jeans Chrissy, they're in the drawer. I just got the wrong pair out.
[Christopher:] Oh.
[Jane:] I'd forgotten there was a new pair in the wardrobe with, still with the labels on I hadn't taken off.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] As long as you don't put a belt on they're still long enough.
[Christopher:] Are they? Can I wear my track suit?
[David:] [singing] [].
[Jane:] Yes, that's alright.
[Christopher:] I'd like to put two.
[Jane:] Okay.
[Christopher:] Gosh!
[Phillip:] What's your plan on the violin front today Chris?
[Jane:] Yes. We didn't do a particularly good practice on Thursday. Friday night you got let off. So... there's two good ones to do. We've got to go through one of the exam pieces. She wants to run through them all and then you've got to fill in a piece of paper on which three pieces you'd like to do, and al you know, she wants the cheque and... full details of what name to go on the certificate and that sort of thing. I read it through as four pounds, and Brenda next to me is saying, fourteen and I had to re-read it, it, course it's fourteen. I thought that was rather a lot.
[Phillip:] Not really.
[Jane:] Mm. I don't remember it being that much last year, but she's using a different board this year so maybe that's something to do with it.
[Phillip:] David, another piece of this.
[Jane:] I think he's had enough.
[Phillip:] Right.
[David:] No, not, not, Vitalite please.
[Jane:] Oh.
[Phillip:] I know. I know, I've got it all worked out.
[Christopher:] I'll have the crusts.
[Jane:] No, but there isn't a crust.
[Christopher:] Oh oh!
[Jane:] Well if you, he's developed a taste for crusts. Oh! Aha, use th bag we might need to put that behind it if you wouldn't mind please.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] Anybody got any preferences for dinner tonight?
[Christopher:] I can see a
[Phillip:] No
[Christopher:] Dad, I can see a crust in that Vitalite.
[Jane:] Ah but in
[Phillip:] That's the next one.
[Jane:] that's, that's a new one but we're just using the old one
[Phillip:] But there's one last in, in this one cos you've had the crust already.
[Christopher:] Ra
[Phillip:] I know it must be you because it wasn't me.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... Did you like that granary bread?
[David:] Ooh yes!
[Jane:] Daddy's cut you a nice thick slice.
[David:] Yes.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[David:] Er
[Phillip:] Oh!
[David:] ... I can't eat it plain.
[Phillip:] I'm not, I'm not asking you to eat it Dave, I just wish you didn't pass it across to me like that.
[David:] Oh! Sorry!... We do
[Phillip:] Do you want a bit more?
[David:] Yes please daddy. [humming]
[Phillip:] This finished?
[Jane:] I'm sorry.
[David:] Dad
[Phillip:] Oh you put that there.
[Jane:] Mm.
[Phillip:] Yes?
[David:] The only thing wrong with that granary bread... is that every time you cut it it wriggles, wriggles.
[Phillip:] It wriggles. Well it's alive.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... It goes like, woo ooh!
[Phillip:] Mum will do that for you.
[David:] That's the knives int it?
[Jane:] That's better.
[David:] This.
[Jane:] Marmite again then?
[David:] Yes mum.... Breakfast is nothing like reading a comic.
[Phillip:] We never said it was.
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] Well, I don't see the connection.
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Oh oh oh! You know, you read your comic at breakfast.
[Jane:] Well, you might.
[Christopher:] Well dad doesn't read his newspaper at breakfast.
[Phillip:] What newspaper?
[Jane:] We only have a newspaper once a week. There you go. Thank you very much.
[David:] [humming]
[Phillip:] Dave! Chomping away.
[Jane:] Do you want spaghetti tonight?
[Phillip:] Suits me.
[Jane:] Spaghetti David? Got some of that lovely oatmeal bread?
[Phillip:] I didn't know you were talking about bread.
[Jane:] Nice big oatmeal buns.... I think, I think on the grounds that erm... what we've been, I'm gonna have chicken on Sunday.
[Phillip:] Well
[Jane:] Is that alright?
[Phillip:] Yep. Fine. After two dinners now I've had enough.
[Jane:] Well that's what I thought. I was going to do beef but I think er... I think we'll go back to chicken.
[Phillip:] Mhm. I'm not interested. I had that Thursday night.
[Jane:] The beef, yes, that's, I thought you did. Erm, we need some more milk. I was just... a bit too short of time on, on... Friday to... That's about all I need. And, some vegetables.
[Phillip:] Yeah.
[Jane:] But we can pick that up any time today can't we?
[Phillip:] Mm. Or Sunday.
[Christopher:] Certainly get looks like it... the sun's going in.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[Phillip:] Yeah, probably if you want me to get that old mower going I ought to go up to Woods and... see if I can get a new drive belt.
[Jane:] Well it would be nice if I could use it.
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[David:] But why don't you use the other one?
[Jane:] And when, when the weather is nice
[Phillip:] Mm?
[Jane:] I said I would be very happy to be out there.
[David:] We've got two mowers. The red one and a green one. Why don't you use the green one?
[Phillip:] Well I like the ride on one because it's easier. The, the... green one it takes hours to cut... used to take about three hours for me to cut all the grass with that one.
[Jane:] But first, but when we first came here I spent three hours on a Sunday morning, and I only did that area where you play football.
[David:] Ah!
[Jane:] Mind you, I was just slow. [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] Erm
[Phillip:] If you'd started the motor and used it it would have helped.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... What about, are we going to put that one in the sale this year, the one that's out in the shed?
[Phillip:] Yes I would think so.
[Jane:] Yes it would be nice if we were, we got rid of that.
[Christopher:] Put it in the
[Jane:] Then I can
[Christopher:] traction engine rally auction.
[Jane:] That's what, yes I think it was.
[Phillip:] But it's the... it's the transporting of it. I have no trailer.
[Jane:] You see if we can get away on holiday earlier this year because the violin exam's in June or in July we'll be back. Cos you remember we came round, we came back the night before the traction engine rally cos I didn't have time to get organized.
[David:] What about, you could hire a trailer.
[Phillip:] Not with your mouth full!
[Jane:] I'm sure we could... work out something.
[Phillip:] I'll have to check I've got all the engine bits, whether I left any at dad's so I can at least stick, bolt
[Jane:] Mm.
[Phillip:] the engine back together.
[Jane:] You do agree though we should get rid of it?
[Phillip:] Yeah. I'm never going to do that one.... There's your tractor to do, there's my motorbike to do, and so many other
[Jane:] I know but that
[Phillip:] things that mower's a
[Jane:] I don't like
[Phillip:] goner.
[Jane:] that out there it is because at the back of my shed, I want to do some... I want to tidy that area up.
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] Repot some plants.
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Yes love.
[David:] You've never taken us on a ride on your motorbike this year.
[Phillip:] Well I haven't, haven't had it out this year. I'm not going to
[Jane:] D'ya know I think, I think, I think it has been out this year.
[Phillip:] Yes I, actually I think it
[Jane:] It has.
[Phillip:] I think we have run it once this year. But er, there's two things Dave.
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] Number one is, I don't like using it on wet grass. The other one, is you and Chrissy... getting too big to take you both on it now. Have to be one at a time now. And you'll have to ride on the back, you can't ride on the tank any more.
[David:] Why?
[Phillip:] You're too big.
[Jane:] You're too big now. You're six now.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... I remember when I used to ride on the tank.
[Jane:] You were only a baby, I used to be very frightened. You had nothing to hold on to, you were just squeezed in between daddy's legs.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... But when I... was a bit older
[Jane:] Mm.
[David:] and I was still riding on the tank
[Jane:] Yes but
[David:] I gripped a erm... I gripped it.
[Jane:] Yes. Yes yo well your hands were a bit bigger and you knew where to hold on.
[Phillip:] More?
[Jane:] Yes please.... Thank you.
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Mhm?
[David:] We can get the motorbike out in the summer.
[Phillip:] Mm. I wasn't meaning that motorbike in any case.... That one goes. There's another one in there that doesn't. Ah.
[Jane:] Oh don't tell me. Which reminds me, when are we going to get rid of all those other car bits in there?
[David:] Oh yes! I know, there's a windscreen up er, on the ceiling
[Jane:] Mm.
[David:] we which came from the car you, you two got married in.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] And you've still got that... paste on it.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] I was under the impression we got married in the church [].
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] No you got it wrong Dave.
[David:] Well you nicked it off someone's car though.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] I dismantled... that car.
[Jane:] [cough]
[Phillip:] It was one... your uncle David... brought up for me so that I could get... take it to pieces to make the car we'd got... better.
[David:] Ah!
[Phillip:] Took the engine out, the gearbox out.
[Jane:] You do realize it's nine years later and we've still got the bits, got all the bits in the garage?
[Phillip:] Mm mm. Be collector's pieces.
[Jane:] Can we get rid of them?... No I'm, I'm
[Phillip:] D'ya want any more?
[Jane:] I'm having another piece of toast in a moment. But there's no rush though. I'm tired this morning, but not as tired as I thought I would be considering two nights out.
[Phillip:] At least you've had one of them in your own bed.
[Jane:] Mm.... And the smoke... the smoke on Thursday was awful!... You'd think the Roadrunners friends wouldn't smoke as much as they did. But then you see Wen... Wendy brings all the friends from Leckernby Installations, of course, they all smoke. They got crowds of them from there.
[Phillip:] Mhm.
[Jane:] Actually I was thinking... it would be nice erm... I have to make a team up with erm... Wendy's parents and we would do quite well with the joint knowledge of four of us.
[Phillip:] It's your competitive instinct coming out again. You're trying to win.
[Jane:] One of the questions erm, there was a... one of the categories was quiz shows... so I thought well I, I don't, I won't do very well here cos I just don't watch enough... and one of the questions was, who was the helper on erm... My, on Take Your Pick? The old Take Your Pick. Well one of the ones that u that used to Take Your Pick?
[Phillip:] Who sha well Michael Mi
[Jane:] That was Michael Miles.
[Phillip:] Michael Miles used to do it. Who was the helper?
[Jane:] On Take Your, on Take Your Pick.
[Phillip:] Bob Walker.
[Jane:] Well, you see, er we didn't know that. Yo yo if you'd have been there we'd have done well. And then it was who was the helper on Double Your Money? Well we fi
[Phillip:] Hughey Green and er
[Jane:] finally got to Monica and we thought that was enough, so we just wrote Monica, we thought they'd accept that and they did n't. Th the... we didn't get the full marks we, we didn't get
[Phillip:] I can't remember her name.
[Jane:] Monica Rose.
[Phillip:] Oh.
[Jane:] But you see, if we'd had yous and then, we were doing qui quite well up until
[Phillip:] Well I wasn't around. I was at
[Jane:] then, then we got the sport and we didn't do so well on that.
[Phillip:] Oh well.... Did you do the filters on this yesterday?
[Jane:] Erm... I rinsed out the bottom of the, yes.
[Phillip:] Alright.
[Jane:] Why would they leave those poles? I mean they were there at lunchtime when I came home and there was nobody with them so I assumed they'd knocked off for lunch. And then
[Phillip:] I think somebody's trying to upset you.
[Jane:] I is that all they're trying to do? Because it's frustrating
[Phillip:] Well no, I don't know, but
[Jane:] to put them there and then
[Phillip:] I wouldn't er
[Jane:] leave them there.
[Phillip:] they've lined one up at each end of the field so it, it looks like they're saying, well, you know that's a parcel of land.
[Jane:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] But, I don't know.
[Jane:] I mean I, I reckon it'd be nice if they, they sort of parcel it up and then sell some of it
[Phillip:] Go round and ask.
[Jane:] No.
[Phillip:] Why not?
[Jane:] I don I don't know whether I want to... spend er, you know, so much money on that.
[Phillip:] Well would you rather do that or have a conservatory?
[Jane:] Well it... the land would cost [LAUGHTER] so much [] more than the conserv I don't know if I want to spend so much money here, I'd rather
[Phillip:] You do... Yes but, you don't know how much er, I mean, you can't sell it for housing... at the moment. He looks always
[Jane:] And he's not getting
[Phillip:] strapped for cash.
[Jane:] and he's not getting any younger. How old is he now?
[Phillip:] Well, he must be about seventy.
[Jane:] Oh! He must be more than seventy. Well, he's only seventy. I mean he's, he's a long way to go. Co could you cut me a slice of that please?... Oh not... [LAUGHTER]... not quite as big as that. Just, just, that's it, yes. Thank you.
[Phillip:] Do you want my finger with it?
[Jane:] No. Thank you.
[Phillip:] Oh the er... the hotel at... Gosforth had erm... Sky.
[Jane:] Oh yeah.
[Phillip:] And er, you know,th it's, it's spo
[Jane:] Oh that's just enough.
[Phillip:] it's sport or films. The sport was all boxing... and erm... the film was erm... a horror film, but a modern one. Yeah.
[Jane:] Oh how
[Phillip:] so, I doing, I did the channel flipping and erm every time you went to it somebody else was getting... chopped up, drowned
[Jane:] Oh don't
[Phillip:] in that one.
[Jane:] please! I'm still eating my breakfast.
[Phillip:] So, I'm not bothered about Sky television if that's what they put on.
[Jane:] I don't think we ever were bothered with Sky television.
[Phillip:] [sigh]
[Jane:] I must get the daffodils out of the porch and change the ones round the house, they're looking a bit tired. Yes?
[Christopher:] Can I go today please cos he said he won't be playing today er, cos erm... yeah... cos he can't.
[Jane:] Yes but er i i the thing is, if he said he would be playing he would come round here. Don't you think you've been round there too often?
[Phillip:] You can ring him and ask him what his plans are. But, don't forget we need to know your plans as well sunshine.
[Christopher:] I know.
[Phillip:] There's two violins to fit in.
[Jane:] There's two violin practices today.
[Christopher:] I know.
[Jane:] Did you re
[Phillip:] Are you gonna finish this lot off?
[Jane:] Yes I, yes I am. There's erm, a list of dates for the junior school, they're having their photographs taken again.
[Phillip:] Enough?
[Jane:] Erm... perhaps a second, a bit longer please. [cough]
[Christopher:] Where's the erm
[Phillip:] What?
[Christopher:] the phone thing?
[Jane:] [sighing] Oh [].
[Phillip:] Okay?
[Jane:] Get very messy on a Saturday morning breakfast don't we?... Ah! Post.
[Phillip:] Yeah well, that one's a new cheque book. This one'll be your... Marks and Sparks' charge card. Have you used it recently?
[Jane:] No. Well, not excessively.
[Phillip:] Dear me.
[Jane:] How much?
[Phillip:] Fourteen pounds.
[Jane:] Mm. That's what I mean, I've only been in the.
[Phillip:] That was at Scunthorpe.
[Jane:] Yes. D'ya remember I went over tha that day I dropped you off and I took the children home.
[Phillip:] Oh yeah. Right.
[Jane:] Erm
[Phillip:] Mrs Gerry, the Bradford Exchange.
[Jane:] No.
[Phillip:] That's the
[Jane:] But i it'll only be that picture. Didn't, did we actually
[Phillip:] That plate.
[Jane:] order that new picture on a plate?
[Phillip:] I ordered you the other one, but in my name not yours.
[Jane:] Yeah. Ah well th this picture's coming, or that one.... It's probably details of the same plate though. You must get... some means of hanging them up.
[Phillip:] Yeah. That's right. Got things like that on it.
[Jane:] Oh no, it's erm... [clears throat]... I don't know if it's quite my sort of thing.
[Phillip:] No, it's not yours.
[Jane:] There. Oh you've got the, no, it's in there, the details are in there look.
[Phillip:] A racket isn't it? I mean, you know, everything's plate one, have you ever seen plate two, three or four or?
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[Phillip:] Oh!
[Jane:] I think they go to two and three but they don't go very far.
[Phillip:] Michael 's alright.
[Jane:] The paperwork must cost quite a lot... that they keep pushing out.
[Phillip:] Why? I mean... the plates' ll cost pennies to make. Look at this, all this
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[Phillip:] and there's no mention of the price.
[Jane:] Oh! It'll be on here somewhere. No, they are, they, they do... they, they are pretty good. There. It's all listed out properly.
[Phillip:] Nineteen ninety. So oh here it is.
[Jane:] That's the sort of thing Geoffrey might like.
[Phillip:] Erm
[Jane:] What? [clears throat]
[Phillip:] Well that's a thought.
[Jane:] What?
[Phillip:] Erm... when we sell that flat we were gonna give Geoffrey and Jean something.
[Jane:] Well... that's a
[Phillip:] Yeah I
[Jane:] nice for present Geoffrey but not for Jean. Not
[Phillip:] Yeah, but you get Jean something as well.
[Jane:] No, don't you think that's going a bit over the top?
[Phillip:] Well... it's up to you.
[Jane:] I'll buy them [LAUGHTER] a bunch of flowers []!
[Phillip:] That's a better one. Here's a second plate, it's a lank. Takes me back to Scampton.
[Jane:] Oh yes, that's nice. I like that better than the other one. Yes that's plate two. Coalforth. Nineteen twenty. Yes that's better. I like that.... I'm, I'm a bit confused, thinking about work yesterday, I'm a bit confused about who, who's. Erm... Steve... for some reason I thought he was a tall... man, but he's quite short isn't he?
[Phillip:] Yeah. Just when he's
[Jane:] Is he
[Phillip:] on the football field. He can jump. Steve, the fair haired little
[Jane:] is he the one
[Phillip:] one.
[Jane:] well, who's the one the dif a while ago drove down Middle Street and crashed into some, that one?
[Phillip:] That was Ian, he doesn't work there.
[Jane:] Oh! I'm mixing the two people.
[Phillip:] Ian 's tall. But he
[Jane:] Isn't he? Yeah.
[Phillip:] he doesn't look anything like him.
[Jane:] So Steve 's quite respectable?
[Phillip:] Yeah. They're all nice lads.
[Jane:] Mm. Well he seemed quite nice and I thought, well are you the one that
[Phillip:] Ian's alright, he just gets drunk.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[Phillip:] But he's recently married that... lass with the ready-made family so
[Jane:] Oh well. No I just thought he was quite pleasant. I mean he was always quite helpful when I
[Phillip:] Steve's, Steve is
[Jane:] didn't know anything
[Phillip:] Steve's very pleasant. He's a nice lad.
[Jane:] but I thought, well is he the one
[Phillip:] He's intelligent as well.
[Jane:] He, he er yes, he... I mean they were all quite helpful. Pete was, was quite helpful too.
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] I thought to Janet [LAUGHTER] when I last see him [].
[Phillip:] It's alright.... Janet should come to work shouldn't she?
[Jane:] Do you think she'll... turn up on Monday?
[Phillip:] Oh I would think so. She's got the most... abysmal sickness record! She'll rigid cos her pay stopped at one stage and... it was wrong because she hadn't been warned
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[Phillip:] but erm... she did a... threw a wobbler about it and
[Jane:] Mm.
[Phillip:] then when we checked into it
[Jane:] It was right.
[Phillip:] and you got her sickness record it... it was, well it's
[Jane:] What's the matter with her?
[Phillip:] they nearly paid her... erm early forties and a spinster.
[Jane:] Oh Phillip! That's
[Phillip:] D'ya know what I mean?
[Jane:] very sexist. I don't like that. Is she in her early forties?
[Phillip:] Yes. Forty one I think.
[Jane:] You mean she's my age? I thought she was older than me.
[Phillip:] There you are, you see.
[Jane:] No I think
[Phillip:] She's, she's, she's typical of the
[Jane:] Now now!
[Phillip:] of the eight cats
[Jane:] Oh I know she is. Mm.
[Phillip:] living on your own syndrome. So I think it's the cats she catches anything from. She worries and frets all the time. It's cos she's nobody to talk to.
[Jane:] Mm. That's what... Julie and I were saying that... when you live on your own you get a bit like that.
[Phillip:] Oh! She, she gets all wound up at home and then comes to work and... where there's people to sound off about, everything under the er the sun.
[Jane:] We were saying about John, we was talking about John as well.
[Phillip:] Yeah.
[Jane:] And the fact he can't just accept things, he has to question things. And we were talking about M E, and how
[Phillip:] Oh he's a very intense person.
[Jane:] how Dave, I was saying about Dave and how he's sort of taken, taken a completely different attitude to things.
[Phillip:] More relaxed. But
[Jane:] If he, if he couldn't do anything then he would accept it and not do it and then try a bit and if he had to... go back to bed. I mean he gave up work for a long time didn't he?
[Phillip:] Yeah. But it's such a... sort of thing
[Jane:] And the contrast in personalities though, they're just
[Phillip:] Well there's a contrast in personality and you don't really know whether anybody's got the same thing because nobody's narrowed it down
[Jane:] No, oh no, I mean
[Phillip:] down.
[Jane:] Yeah you can't.
[Phillip:] All they know is that they're
[Jane:] But Julie was saying
[Phillip:] different.
[Jane:] about that sleeping treatment that he took,tha that finished him off because he, he, he
[Phillip:] Yes but
[Jane:] staked so much on that and we were, we were agreeing
[Phillip:] Oh yes I know.
[Jane:] that the reason he didn't sleep was because the fact that he was just sitting around all day. So you wouldn't sleep
[Phillip:] But they didn't
[Jane:] then your body doesn't need it.
[Phillip:] they didn't do it properly though.
[Jane:] Oh! That was the other thing she said, that he, he should have be gone into hospital.
[Phillip:] Course he should. He tried to do it at home and that was
[Jane:] They co
[Phillip:] ridiculous!
[Jane:] did he have the opportunity to go into hospital to have it done?
[Phillip:] Erm, well the
[Jane:] [clears throat] I would have thought
[Phillip:] Yeah.
[Jane:] so because erm
[Phillip:] I mean Paul said, with the blokes down in London and he, he ga gave them the pills and sa told them that they go back home and so he did.
[Jane:] Yes but the, Julie said, and she's right of course, you can't have the erm... strength of drugs to, to, to administer at home because obviously
[Phillip:] It wasn't, it wasn't
[Jane:] you've got to be monitored on that sort of thing. You can't be put into
[Phillip:] it wasn't done right.
[Jane:] a deep drugs and ni not have erm... some medical staff... monitoring you.
[Phillip:] Yeah it sounds like you did a lot of work yesterday.
[Jane:] I told you we tal I talked, I, I disturbed her all day long.
[Phillip:] Oh look!
[Jane:] What? Why is that? What is it?
[Phillip:] Oh!
[Jane:] I was going to say it was just something stuck on... the
[Phillip:] It's te I'll pick it up,i if it it was rust on the.
[Jane:] No, no. It, it, it
[Phillip:] No, now that I've seen it.
[Jane:] while I was sitting from here I could erm... see it had something stuck on it.
[Phillip:] The sheep seemed to have thinned out.
[Jane:] Mm mm. I think they must be up that other end cos th there's about a couple of dozen yesterday I noticed.
[Phillip:] Only two down here. They're not eating our hedge.
[Jane:] No, see that one that's going up near where I planted granddad's honeysuckle?
[Phillip:] Mhm.
[Jane:] They erm, [LAUGHTER] they er []... there was a lamb nibbling that yesterday and he's taken off, [LAUGHTER] so the bits at the top and the bottom [] have no connection any longer so
[Phillip:] Oh!
[Jane:] It's not, I don't think that's granddad's honeysuckle. I must go out and check it.
[Phillip:] I don't know where granddad's is.
[Jane:] No, it's ju it's just down there.
[Phillip:] But that was a wispy one, granddad's was ever so big.
[Jane:] No, granddad's... never really took off
[Phillip:] With big leaves.
[Jane:] because of the... of the drought. When we were away it didn't get watered on. I used to water it every day.
[Phillip:] Well everything looks as though it's had a good water now.
[Jane:] All four lilac trees have taken anyway. I want to check that the
[Phillip:] Did I tell me when we got up to erm... Newcastle we turned on the local news, they'd had five inches of rain... which is a winter's rain in four days.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[Phillip:] The Metro station just down from... Gosforth Park er was flooded to platform level.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] Oh []. Like d'ya, do you remember Sheffield
[Phillip:] And all the overheads were
[Jane:] flooded last year?
[Phillip:] Yeah. And, and everywhere you went the fields... waterlogged
[Jane:] Actually standing in water.
[Phillip:] Standing in water all the way up. Snow on the hills and everything.
[Jane:] Mm.
[Phillip:] But fortunately, you know, we, we only got... tail end of it, a bit of sleet.
[Jane:] Whereabouts did you go yesterday? You know you said... there was a bus coming at half past eight. Where did
[Phillip:] Erm
[Jane:] you go? I couldn't
[Phillip:] to
[Jane:] I couldn't quite imagine what you were doing.
[Phillip:] went round the erm... British Gas research establishment.
[Jane:] Oh! Was it mu was it very interesting?
[Phillip:] Amazing! Amazing! And... very impressed. The... it's a massive place and, you know, five or six hundred staff, and erm, it's where they... develop all the new technology for the... gas fields... delivery of gas to your house and everything. But you see they're spending a lot of the time... you know, on... developing ways of repairing roads after they've been in them. And what's impressive is they're doing research that we should have been doing for years! I mean, it's a bit much when the gas board is there showing us
[Jane:] How to research [clears throat]
[Phillip:] how, it's developed materials, it's developed techniques and everything for mending roads. So... it's er... a bit humbling.
[Jane:] So did you learn something?
[Phillip:] Yeah. Quite a lot. You see when the erm... legislation changes shortly, well the legislation is there but... when it's enacted... erm... they... they will become responsible for repairing after their own hole digging... and they have to provide us with guarantees.
[Jane:] Certain standard and time to do it in.
[Phillip:] Yes, but I've, they've got to guarantee the repair for at least two years after they've done it.
[Jane:] Ah I see.
[Phillip:] So, British Gas, the commercial, have worked out that there's only one way to do that, you do the job properly to start with.
[Jane:] Mm. Yes.
[Phillip:] And so, they're putting all the effort into doing it.
[Jane:] Mm. Well they
[Phillip:] And er
[Jane:] don't wanna, amount of time of coming back again to do it haven't
[Phillip:] It's
[Jane:] they?
[Phillip:] well that's lost money isn't it?
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[Phillip:] So... no it was very impressive. I'll... I think it's a bit much when you have highway engineers there and... really... they were showing us how it should be done. And er
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[Phillip:] they proved, you know, some things, certain rollers and stuff that... we thought were useless, you know Paddy's dancing partner?
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] Oh yeah [].
[Phillip:] Erm... well we thought that was out of fashion. They've shown that... if you run it at the right speed and stuff it's one of the most effective... methods of doing it... and erm... the ones we say are the nice little plate compactors which are... the best thing, they are useless in comparative performance so
[Jane:] Mhm.
[Phillip:] er... no it was, good. The money they spend on research! I forget what it was, the turnover was erm... something like eight billion. Or was it... no i er it, probably eight hundred billion. It was in some figure you can't even relate to. So
[Jane:] Well they must have a lot of money. Isn't it British Gas' Chairman that's just had that enormous pay rise?
[Phillip:] Well I think most of them have. Oh yes, but the Gas one has. But I mean th the... the standard of entertainment, I mean... put, putting
[Jane:] [clears throat]
[Phillip:] us all in that hotel for
[Jane:] [cough]... Somebody was saying... rang in complained to Peter about the, the amount of, what, what are they getting? It's not, it's not quarter of a million is it? It's about two hundred thousand.
[Phillip:] Prob probably something like that.
[Jane:] And Peter said well what would you consider... a reasonable salary for him? And I thought he would say something like, you know something really silly, about fifty, sixty thousand, but he said... I think a hundred and fifty thousand's enough. And, I thought well, it is really isn't it?
[Phillip:] Probably is.
[Jane:] And for, for somebody who was ringing in, an ordinary person just complaining
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] I, I do think they have rather gone over the top.
[Phillip:] Well, there you are. If you want to attract the right people and keep them you have to pay them money.
[Jane:] Yeah but, don't, I'm sure there must be a lot of right people who will work for a hundred and fifty thousand.
[Phillip:] Probably not.
[Jane:] Well
[Phillip:] The other thing that was interesting I learnt at dinner on... Thursday night is, under the... government's legislation within so many years, nineteen ninety four I think, they've got to ha have reduced their market share from the original hundred percent... to sixty percent... as new firms come in to... sell gas
[Jane:] Yes.
[Phillip:] Now, as the bloke said there, the only way you can do that with people coming in from the outside is that British Gas... have got to keep pushing their prices up to make it worthwhile for somebody else to come in.
[Jane:] For the competition to get in.
[Phillip:] You can't just suddenly say well we're not gonna supply this quarter or something unless there's somebody coming in
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[Phillip:] to do it. To make it commercially attractive to somebody else British Gas have to got keep lifting their prices to a level, that eventually somebody comes in and says oh yes...
[Jane:] It's worth my while
[Phillip:] it's worth me having a go.
[Jane:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] I asked them if once they'd got rid of the forty percent they could then get it back... by dropping the prices, you know, they've, they've
[Jane:] By, by competing.
[Phillip:] satisfied them legally?
[Jane:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] They weren't sure about that. But, they, they thought they'd probably struggle.
[Jane:] I thought, just assumed they would have known.
[Phillip:] Well,ye I'm not dealing with the marketing people was I?
[Jane:] No.
[Phillip:] I was, dealing with the engineering people. Right. If you're clearing up I'll go upstairs... and er
[Jane:] Yeah. Yes, I think you're right. Oh no, there's some more sheep sitting over there. Under th under that tree that is left.
[Phillip:] Mm mm. Nothing from the insurance company was there?
[Jane:] No.... Oh yes, I wonder
[Phillip:] You wonder what?
[Jane:] I wonder what they've decided to
[Phillip:] Well... it's out of our hands. It's just very important that
[Jane:] I hope you remembered to pick up those... [clears throat]... discs last night. I can't understand why he, I mean he had nothing to do with it. And Lorna did her own sheet didn't she? We, we did our own. Didn't Lorna fill in her own sheet?
[Phillip:] Yes.
[Jane:] So.
[Phillip:] Well they said it was me and Lorna.
[Jane:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] Well I that it was you.
[Jane:] Yeah. But we've ended up with, they've got the prize and we're the ones who did it, who, who did it. Who did do it.
[Phillip:] I'm not worried about it.
[Jane:] Well it
[Phillip:] I say it's a compact disc when you haven't got a compact disc player
[Jane:] When you ha haven't got a player
[Phillip:] it er
[Jane:] but neither have they, it's a, thing is this
[Phillip:] it's a bit of a luxury.
[Jane:] Well I thought I would use it as a raffle prize at school or something. Give it straight back into something. No use
[Phillip:] Okay.
[Jane:] to us, I can't see us ge
[Phillip:] Anyway, I'll be down in a minute.
[Jane:] can't see us ever having a compact disc player.
[Phillip:] No. [talking in other room] Dave. Come on. Get a move on this morning.
[Jane:] Oh! Phillip the tape's going.
[Christopher:] What?
[Jane:] Well I can't hold a conversation on my own.
[Phillip:] Why not?
[Jane:] Well, I'm not very good at that sort
[Phillip:] What?
[Jane:] of thing.
[Phillip:] We're going to do the mower. Okay?
[Jane:] Yes. Yes.
[Phillip:] So I'm gonna fetch it round. Erm
[Christopher:] [humming]
[Phillip:] yeah, I don't think I can do the big mower. I couldn't get the right bolts.
[Christopher:] [humming]
[Jane:] Oh.
[Phillip:] And we went to try and get Chris some trainers. It wouldn't hurt for some of them throwing away but none the right size of course.
[Jane:] Yes. Well what size is he?
[Phillip:] And, so I popped in and asked Douglas if he'd got any going for next to nothing but he doesn't have anything down his size.
[Jane:] No.
[Phillip:] But we really ought to er
[Jane:] Oh he does, he needs some trainers. Erm
[Phillip:] Yeah. Well I mean he
[Jane:] I'll go, I'll
[Phillip:] I thought I'd take him into Woollies or the market or something.
[Jane:] Well not the market. But er
[Phillip:] Well, do you want to go to Phillips and, I mean he kicks them out in two weeks.
[Jane:] Oh I was gonna say haven't Clarkes got some cheap ones in?
[Phillip:] Him and trainers... soon
[Jane:] What about Toby in Bridlington?
[Phillip:] Pardon?
[Jane:] What about Toby if we get some, he desperately needs some because he
[Phillip:] Yes but
[Jane:] he desperately
[Phillip:] but, but I mean yes but when
[Jane:] Could wear last year's.
[Phillip:] when you go to a, but th th
[Jane:] Phillip
[Phillip:] question is, are we getting him quality like you and I would want
[Jane:] Oh no!
[Phillip:] or are we getting him ones that he can kick to pieces?
[Jane:] Well just... I mean usu
[Christopher:] How much
[Jane:] in the summer I usually get him some trainers er cheap, the cheapest trainers anyway, but I mean yes it's time he has them.
[Christopher:] But you know on the... but there's a shoe shop near that one and
[Jane:] That was. I know the one you mean.
[Christopher:] Aha.
[Jane:] Yeah. And
[Christopher:] We got, we got some cheap trainers from there
[Jane:] Yes.
[Christopher:] once didn't I?
[Jane:] You also got them on a
[Phillip:] No you got these ones up in Woollies didn't you?
[Jane:] Well okay.
[Christopher:] But they never.
[Jane:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] Anyhow.
[Jane:] As long as you get the proper size.
[Phillip:] Yes. The mower stuff
[Jane:] Do the thing, alright.
[Phillip:] and then, then we'll do that. Are you helping with that Chris?
[Christopher:] What?
[Phillip:] Th the mower's out the shed, can you fetch it right the way over here then please?
[Jane:] Is it, is it warm out there?
[Phillip:] Well, it's, it's perhaps a bit cool without
[Jane:] Er yes, yes.
[Phillip:] a coat on.
[Jane:] Okay. Well I'll, I'll
[Phillip:] But I wouldn't describe it as warm.
[Jane:] Can you shut the door and I'll, I'll ring David.
[Phillip:] Bye.
[Jane:] Bye. Now how are you getting on?
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Yes?
[David:] You see that? That's entrance for... look at the back.
[Jane:] Yes.
[David:] You go in there... and there's a little ticket office inside.
[Jane:] Yeah.
[David:] Then you come out here onto the platform.
[Jane:] Can you get a tissue and blow your nose cos you have... such a runny cold.
[David:] Is there some
[Jane:] Ee! Ee!
[David:] in mum?
[Jane:] There's some in there in the sitting room. Off you go. Go on, quickly.
[David:] [humming]... This.
[Jane:] Yes it is. You've got lots of them. Have you got the full set now? No you haven't have you? There's Donald and Duck
[David:] No I I've got two of those, Harold and Donald and this one.
[Jane:] They ke
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Jane:] every time we think
[Christopher:] You haven't.
[Jane:] every time we think we've got the full set they... bring out some more.
[David:] Yeah.
[Jane:] I think my favourite is Trevor the Traction Engine.
[David:] Ah yeah.
[Christopher:] Oh yeah.
[Jane:] Go on, get that tissue. Get your nose blown.
[David:] This is spotless.
[Jane:] Well yo you only got that at Christmas so you haven't played with it much. Come on! Get that nose blown.... Look there's Christopher taking that old lawnmower across for daddy to mend. I suppose we ought to go out and give him a hand really but
[David:] That
[Jane:] maybe later on.
[David:] that... we still use that one!
[Jane:] We're keeping that one, it's the old, really old one we're going to put into that auction.
[David:] It's the really, really old one.
[Jane:] The one that's at the back of the shed. I just
[David:] Yeah.
[Jane:] want that one to do the edges with and daddy'll ride round to do, or I will, or you will, no you won't, or Chrissy will... to do the middle bit. The grass has got very long hasn't it?
[David:] Yeah.
[Jane:] It looks very green now it's had all that rain. Have you blown your nose properly? Go and throw that one away and get me another one and I'll help you.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] And then you can come and tell me all about
[David:] I ha
[Jane:] your game.
[David:] I've had Duck for a long time.
[Jane:] Yes. Oh it's Donald and Douglas is, is, are those... will you go and get those tissues sorted out please?
[David:] I've still got the two twins to get. Douglas
[Jane:] Well
[David:] and Douglas and Bill and Ben.
[Jane:] Well we'll have to see what happens at Christmas. But Christmas is a long way away.
[David:] I've got Douglas' friends to get yet. What did you need them for?
[Jane:] Bring me a tissue for you? Ar do yo are you hoping to get the full set? Come here. Blow.
[David:] So I wanna change it for it's my first, my Fat Controller's Railway.
[Jane:] Now keep that in your pocket and keep that nose clean
[David:] Yeah.
[Jane:] please. It's the only way to get rid of that cold.
[David:] My first engine in the Fat Controller's Railway was Thomas.
[Jane:] Yes that's right.
[David:] Then it was Edward, then Henry... then Gordon, then James, then Percy.
[Jane:] Then Percy. Yeah.
[David:] Then Toby
[Jane:] Toby the Tram. And Henrietta... the coach.
[David:] Then it was Duck.
[Jane:] Did we make a coach for, for Toby,Henrie can you buy Henrietta?
[David:] Yes you can buy them.
[Jane:] Do you want a Henrietta as well?
[David:] Oh yes please mum! Mum.
[Jane:] Yes?
[David:] If I had loads of room in house I'd put them all together. Put them e behind Gordon.
[Jane:] Yes but, I don't think Gordon, it's only Thomas that really has any caravan, sometimes Percy isn't it? The, the... larger engines, the express engines don't. Maybe James.
[David:] I thought er
[Jane:] Cos it's usually the er... the tender engines don't... pull caravan do they?
[David:] Yes.
[Jane:] It's only the tankers isn't it?
[David:] But mum! Look... you can't get the express coaches.
[Jane:] No.
[David:] But mum
[Jane:] Why, why
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] I just think Tom's looking very battered. The cabs are very chipped. It's, I think you have to take a bit more care of those. Cos you will throw them at the back of the box instead of lining them up. D'ya remember how I got that box where you could lay them in... separately? And of course you're not being very careful. You're not a very careful with your toys young man are you?
[David:] But mum
[Jane:] Mhm?
[David:] you, you ca you can get a bo you can get a set of, you can get a board for these to get room on... so you
[Jane:] Mhm.
[David:] Yeah. A big, a big board.
[Jane:] I don't think we really need that do we now?
[David:] No. Apparently it isn't a very big one.
[Jane:] Well, well you've got
[David:] All over
[Jane:] the board that you set out the Lego on, you could run those on that. That's taking up enough room
[David:] It is
[Jane:] we do I don't think we've got any more space.
[David:] The board's damaged from, cos that board's damaged beca... from Duck, from Duck to Diesel.
[Jane:] D'ya know I'd forgotten it's got dirty beads on.... It's a long time since you've had this set out.
[David:] Ooh yes!
[Jane:] Well keep them all together this time. Or that'll get trod on.
[David:] Ooh! There's that.... Got Thomas.
[Jane:] How come you've got two Thomas? Oh! Yo you bought another Thomas with Annie and Clarabel, is that
[David:] Yeah.
[Jane:] is that the one?
[David:] I bought, we bought the Thomas second... and then we
[Jane:] Second one.
[David:] got one Thomas with Annie and Clarabel.
[Jane:] Mm.... Oh.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Yes?
[David:] You know when we did gold paint on James' ?
[Jane:] Yes.
[David:] It's red paint.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[David:] Whoops.
[Jane:] Looks good in there.... They're not in the right pair are they? Unfortunately, the Fat Controller.
[David:] No they do come.
[Jane:] Mm. Not actually, I think you can get different sizes can't you? Just those and erm... small and that it's difficult to find, those are like the very small ones, they have a picture on there. Tt.
[David:] But mum
[Jane:] But I don't think the Fat Controller's supposed to be quite as nice is he? Are you finding they're not particularly?
[David:] Mine are all staying there.
[Jane:] Oh..
[David:] ?
[Jane:] Yeah.
[David:] You know these two they, cos they set don't they?
[Jane:] They come together, yes. But I think you've... got different sizes there.
[David:] Well, mum
[Jane:] And probably only bigger ones.
[David:] they came as the same... they came in the same colour mu thing round them we in the red letters saying what they are.
[Jane:] Mm. The same packaging.
[David:] Yeah. Same package, package.
[Jane:] Mm mm. Cos you can get the bigger
[David:] Mm mm.
[Jane:] got the bigger Thomas haven't you? Got two of them the one that, that pushes one round.
[David:] Hey mum! You, you can get a toy the same as the Fat Controller there.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[David:] A really big one, that big! They're that big.
[Jane:] Well I don't, I haven't seen one that size.
[David:] That big.
[Jane:] It's probably... yes. Maybe a bit smaller.
[David:] No. Bu... I think it's Fat Controller bubble bath.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] Oh! I see what you mean [].
[David:] I think
[Jane:] Yeah.
[David:] I think it is. Well I think it was made of a squidgy thing.
[Jane:] Now, I was only thinking this morning when I was in your bathroom... you've got lots of bubble bath left over from Christmas. You've still got some left over from the year before, but people keep giving you it.
[David:] Mm.
[Jane:] Chrissy's still got that turtle bubble bath that he doesn't want anybody to use. And you've got the same one. And then er... pots with the squidgy soap in.
[David:] Oh yeah!
[Jane:] And then there's another tall bottle that Wendy got you. You've still got the lot from last year that David and Wendy got you and you've
[David:] You soap
[Jane:] still got this year's. I think it's about time you used some of that.
[David:] I, I'm the only person who used the squidgy soap.
[Jane:] Didn't we have to stop using it because Chrissy was coming out in a rash?
[David:] [LAUGHTER] No []. No.
[Jane:] And we didn't know what it was.
[David:] No because I was,ha because I had the diarrhoea.
[Jane:] Did you?
[David:] Yeah. That was the reason we that was when we stopped using the turtle stuff.
[Jane:] D'ya know, I don't know.
[David:] Mm mm.
[Jane:] Well we'll start using it again. Start using the stuff ta cos there's another big bottle in the cupboard as well in your bathroom.
[David:] Yes.
[Jane:] No point in saving it. You may as well use it.
[David:] Mm mm. Mum.
[Jane:] Yes?
[David:] You know of that music which goes with the engines?
[Jane:] Mm.
[David:] Well as soon as you know, knowing it too well.
[Jane:] . Oh we must make sure on Tuesday we're home to record, what time is the on? It starts at five to four doesn't it? I must get the tape lined up so that it's ready to switch on when we come home cos it's gonna be, walk home from school if it's a nice day, we'll, we'll have to hurry home. Cos we usually walk slowly don't we? So we're not getting home till about four o'clock. But if we, we erm
[David:] Hurry.
[Jane:] Well if it's, if it's... if the weather's not very good I'll meet you in the car, but if it's a nice day I, I'd much rather walk to meet you.
[David:] But mum we did go in th the car. You said, it's erm... at five past five.
[Jane:] No we, we walked and I, I got the time wrong didn't we? Cos we came in and Chrissy, instead of switching on the children's programmes put his computer on so we didn't see it.
[David:] Well we
[Jane:] But of course it's five to four isn't it? It's the beginning of the programmes rather than the end. Never mind. We've only missed one.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] I hadn't even got the tape lined up ready to... the next, the next one on. So I'll have to get it set up ready for when I meet you from school and then we can switch it on as soon as we get home.
[David:] Well that's what Chrissy did see.
[Jane:] Well we'll remember. The Tuesday after that we go on holiday, it's the Easter holidays.
[David:] Can you move your foot mum.
[Jane:] I'm sorry.
[David:] You're ri you're right on the railway.
[Jane:] I'm standing on the railway? Oh, I better move out the way, I might get squashed.... If we got this Monopoly game finished we could get this cleared up couldn't we? It's been going on a few days this game. I think Chrissy's got a... although I'm not sure actually, you might win. You've got two sets haven't you? And quite a lot of money. Have you got houses... on your set? Yes you have. You've got a house on.... I started off quite well. I've got Mayfair... Piccadilly, Fleet Street and Regent Street, but I never got a set did I?
[David:] Mum, how much, how much do you want for Fleet Street?
[Jane:] Well
[David:] Then I'll have just three sets.
[Jane:] Yes. If I land on... something where... I need some money. Chris has got quite a lot of, he's got Old Kent Road and Whitechapel Road. Although, they don't cost much to buy though. a few houses on them. You can earn... some money. So I might need, if I land on that I'll probably have to sell Fleet Street to be able to survive. And I think once I do that I shall have lost out because Chris has got Park Lane and he's not going to part with those.... [yawning] So I don't think I'm going to do very well [].
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Yes? Mind
[David:] The
[Jane:] your head on the cupboard.
[David:] Mum, you know that's going pa round the and passed... that there?
[Jane:] Yes.
[David:] That's the tunnel.
[Jane:] Oh I see, yes. That is
[David:] ... Mum.
[Jane:] Yes?
[David:] Er we... you know I put it away to bring it out, out in here?
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[David:] Well... when I was last playing with it... that... James kept on er... in and in... that erm... he stopped at the station and I have to take it... like that... far enough... cos I wanted Gordon to be there... so he co could pick up the express... pick, up the coaches
[Jane:] Yeah.
[David:] and it's, I think I can set down. Right.
[Jane:] Oh I know what we used for the board. Do you remember that big puzzle... that... Barry gave Chris?
[David:] Ah!
[Jane:] That's what we used. We used to put the fire engines in it as well. Do you remember it makes into a... into a big road and it's got a and a school, and factory and
[David:] It hasn't got a factory.
[Jane:] No? Got lots of things in it though.
[David:] It's got a.
[Jane:] Mm mm. I was thinking you could put Thomas and the carriages in there.
[David:] And you can try everything on
[Jane:] And it isn't, it's not big enough to get all the engines on.
[David:] Is it big enough to put... put, put Gordon on?
[Jane:] Well Gordon's a very big engine.
[David:] The biggest of all of the engines on the Fat Controller's Railway. He's the only.... He's the only.
[Jane:] specific. But, could do.
[David:] Yes.
[Jane:] The wheeler engines
[David:] And then put
[Jane:] Look, yes there's a four, six... two
[David:] Two.
[Jane:] other engines that we're not going to get
[David:] Yes. So does it only seem to be
[Jane:] One A four.
[David:] Now... A four is those slopeys.
[Jane:] They do don't they?
[David:] Yes. And it's bad with this on lock. A three has, ordinary ones.
[Jane:] Yes, they have that
[David:] Like that.
[Jane:] slope on.
[David:] That's erm... Scotsman.
[Jane:] Why has Scotsman? [whispering] []. Erm... let me see, let's think of an example of an A four... six.
[David:] Well there's that one.
[Jane:] Mm?
[David:] Well... well it is good but only.
[Jane:] Well try using a star.
[David:] Mm mhm mm. Well I don't think that's supposed
[Jane:] Well it's flipping, that way. That way you can [microphone hissing and conversation very quiet]
[David:] Well Henry could be.
[Jane:] Mm.
[David:] You know.
[Jane:] If we're going to go to the quiz on Monday night we shall have to learn our way round yo and our A fours and A two... six won't we?
[David:] Erm... I wanna
[Jane:] I thought you knew.
[David:] Shall I tell you what then?
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[David:] Where these arrow, and the arrows that lead to... two six two. That's it!... Ah!
[Jane:] Mm.
[David:] We've used up all the six.
[Jane:] And... there's some up there. Isn't it two... it's two O something isn't it?
[David:] No.
[Jane:] Or two one two.
[David:] No. No mum. Cos you see, down there's Wales.
[Jane:] Oh sorry! Yes, they're both
[David:] Slower.
[Jane:] north. So that's a four six
[David:] That's what
[Jane:] eight. Yes, I didn't see the other one. I thought that was a four. I found a four six O.
[David:] Whose is that one is? Can I put one down?
[Jane:] All's quiet outside.
[David:] [sighing] Yes mum [].... Er... make myself a drink of water. Mm.
[Jane:] I like the way... the lambs have settled down in the field haven't they? They were making... a couple of days ago, but I think they've got used to their new home.
[David:] Well soon, they'll get used to me.
[Jane:] Mm. I hope so. Well, they will if you do that.
[David:] Mum, did you get a new?
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] Yes []. That's what we were talking about after breakfast.
[David:] Yeah. You buying one or?
[Jane:] I haven't got a very.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... Er, I don't know.
[Jane:] What?
[David:] I was go now going to.
[Jane:] Oh you gonna, gonna put it back??
[David:] Yeah.
[Jane:] Well if you've seen him. It's not usually on television Wednesday night.
[David:] Well you can get the Lenny, Lenny Henry double video. Lenny Henry's Show double video.
[Jane:] Oh I see. You've seen the advertisements
[David:] Fawlty Towers.
[Jane:] for the video.
[David:] No! It was on tape box of the Chronicles of Narnia.
[Jane:] Oh! It's listed on the back of the Chronicles of Narnia?
[David:] Mm mm.
[Jane:] Oh! I wondered how you knew.
[David:] Inside where the tapes go.
[Jane:] Are you enjoying your Chronicles of Narnia?
[David:] Tt. Er
[Jane:] I think Chrissy is isn't he?
[David:] Well mum
[Jane:] Yes.
[David:] mm mm... I don't, but, some bits near the end are too scary.
[Jane:] Well... I think you're a bit young to enjoy it, at the moment but er Christopher is. We must go and spend your book token so we can write to... Gwyneth and thank her. Which reminds me you still haven't written to Geoffrey and Jean to thank them for your birthday money have we?
[David:] So mum, I know I haven't.
[Jane:] Or have you, which is more to the point.
[David:] The other night cos I didn't like... you wrote about telling Gwyneth about I don't like the Chronicles of Narnia.
[Jane:] Well, fortunately she understood. What are you going to put in your letter to Geoffrey and Jean? And
[David:] I don't know what I got from them.
[Jane:] They gave you a cheque.
[David:] Oh yes, that's right.
[Jane:] I've put it into the bank and I shall give you the money. Now what are you going to buy?
[David:] Books.
[Jane:] You can get some books if you want but Gwyneth's given you some money for books as well.
[David:] I'll get some Thomas books. There is quite a lot I haven't got.
[Jane:] You could actually buy erm... Trevor. No, Terence, Terence the Tractor to go with your set.
[David:] Mm. Well, mum
[Jane:] Cos Geoffrey likes trains doesn't he? You could write to Geoffrey and say... say you've bought something to do with trains and should feel very pleased.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... I don't want to buy, I don't want to buy a bulldozer!
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] What has that got to do with trains?
[Jane:] Terence the Tractor's part of
[David:] Have I seen that other, talking about Lenny Henry?
[Jane:] I don't know why you think that's what.
[David:] Oh.
[Jane:] Strange child!
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Yes?
[David:] What I want to do... wha with the bulldozer I got I would like to poke it that... shovel one.
[Jane:] One of those interesting conversations with Thomas, like, which are better... train wheels or tractor wheels. The caterpillar wheels.
[David:] Oh yeah.
[Jane:] Cos do you remember then Terence can get through the snow where Thomas can't.
[David:] Yes.
[Jane:] And Terence comes to Thomas' rescue, cos Thomas doesn't like that snow plough does he?
[David:] No he banged it so he can't
[Jane:] He banged it so that it would bend. He's very naughty.
[David:] Yes. Because that's why he was cheeky. Probably cos he's... puffed up in the snow box and comes to see to him.
[Jane:] He was going to rescue Mrs. Was it Mrs?
[David:] Yeah.
[Jane:] I think he.
[David:] Sh he did.
[Jane:] She was waving to him.
[David:] It is Mrs.
[Jane:] Is that the name? Oh we haven't read that for a while cos you read them to yourself now don't you? So I don't get to read
[David:] Ah
[Jane:] them any more.
[David:] On that?
[Jane:] Yeah.
[David:] I still like people reading to me though.... Six people still read to me.
[Jane:] Quite a lot of people read.
[David:] No oh. I don't often have people reading to me.
[Jane:] Well you're such a good reader yourself now, you don't need anyone to tell it
[David:] Wow!
[Jane:] to you. You're quite right it is nice to have people to read to you. And you've read for me in bed before now haven't you?
[David:] Oh! Oh yes!
[Jane:] You've come and read me a bed time story when I haven't been very well and I've been in bed.
[David:] Yes Park.
[Jane:] And mum?
[David:] I think I read you a chapter of er... the... the Bears' Picnic.
[Jane:] Yes you did. And Chrissy read to me... what was it? It was a Roald Dahl book.. I like George's Magic Medicine books best.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Yes?
[David:] I... mum.
[Jane:] What? Which was it? Was it Jack, was it James and the Giant Peach? No it wasn't. It was something about
[David:] Crocodiles.
[Jane:] No it wasn't. It was, it was James and the Giant, it was about this boy being ill-treated by these two old ladies that were looking after James. I suppose... no I, I didn't enjoy that one but, I could see that Chrissy enjoyed it. Thought it was wonderful.
[David:] Oh mum.
[Jane:] Yes.
[David:] I thought... I thought you were on about a book that
[Phillip:] [calling from outside]
[Jane:] Yes?
[Phillip:] We're just going up to Eastgate Bike Shop to try and get a cable that just snapped
[Jane:] Right.
[Phillip:] for the, for the mower.
[Jane:] Okay. Right.
[Phillip:] Alright Dave?
[David:] Yes dad.
[Jane:] Do you want to go with daddy?
[David:] Pardon?
[Jane:] Do you want to go?
[Phillip:] Well we're only going up to Eastgate now Jane.
[Jane:] Oh alright.
[Phillip:] But we'll see, we probably ought to go somewhere else.
[Jane:] Where? Where?
[Phillip:] I think you need to go to the toilet Davey, you're wriggling. Go on.
[David:] Dad!
[Phillip:] Daddy says go! I know you.
[David:] I don't.
[Phillip:] Quickly!
[Jane:] Off you go.
[Phillip:] Then go back to your game. And I'll be back in a jiff.
[Jane:] I must take Morna's, I've still got Morna's coat in the back of our
[Phillip:] Yep.
[Jane:] my car.
[Phillip:] Yeah.
[Jane:] Well when you get back I'll... you look after David, I'll go and see Morna.
[David:] You're not doing ve very well.
[Jane:] I'm not am I?
[David:] You got two tens, a twenty and fifteen. Three ought to be England. Mum. Is two ten, twenty, is twenty, twenty and fifty what does it make? Ten
[Jane:] Sorry! I was reading this about the quiz night. I think this is going to be too late for you children. The meeting starts at seven, the quiz is seven thirty to eight fifteen, then there's an interval and then the rest of the quiz is nine to nine thirty, well... you won't be home till ten o'clock. No. It's no good. It's a shame cos you would have enjoyed it.
[David:] Are all the que are, are all the questions about trains?
[Jane:] No. It says, [reading leaflet] the quiz will contain some sixty questions covering general knowledge and not just railway so... so that there is [], not very good grammar, [reading] so that there is nothing for the family to be [LAUGHTER] afraid of [] []. Which is.
[David:] Well mum, I want to go.
[Jane:] Oh no, sweetie pie. If it had been the following week with school holidays but I, I do think you'd be very tired the next day.
[David:] I wouldn't mind.
[Jane:] And a pie and pea supper in the interval.
[David:] A what of?
[Jane:] A pie and pea, a charge, two pound fifty.
[David:] Wow wee!
[Jane:] Wow wee! Bring your family and friends. I think it means they're all just... older family, I don't think it means six year olds.
[David:] Mm. So you think, do they think I'm a baby.
[Jane:] I wonder if daddy wants to go. I shall have to see if I can get a sitter for you two children.... Now what were you asking there? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Darling. Did you ask me something?
[David:] Er, no.
[Jane:] [yawning] Oh! I'm tired []. I dunno about you lot... coping with late nights, I certainly can't.
[David:] I haven't had Toby out for a while.... It's Toby's turn.... It's a good tram isn't it?... Mum.
[Jane:] Mhm?
[David:] It's funny, cos Toby's the only steam tram I know.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Mm mm?
[David:] You need to steer it, you never ste you with Thomas.
[Jane:] Yes.
[David:] Yeah.
[Jane:] Mhm.
[David:] Cos there are real engines in there. But, if they're, the real engines don't have faces.
[Jane:] Yes that's right.
[David:] And they think that was Melissico.
[Jane:] Yes. Yes rather than er doing the talking. You're right, Melissico didn't have any.
[David:] But it did.
[Jane:] But, the real engine... which is
[David:] Yes. But mum
[Jane:] What?
[David:] er, this had... that night... er but, one, in one bit it said... he said... that night they di fa found that Melissico wasn't... enjoyed talking to them long af till long after the stars came out.
[Jane:] That's right. Yeah. Direct quote from the book. You did very well.
[David:] No! No! From television.
[Jane:] Yes but they take it from the book. They keep it as close to the book as they can.
[David:] Yes.
[Jane:] Well, no point in changing it.
[David:] Oh mum.
[Jane:] Mm mm?
[David:] Do you know when Gordon goes rushing through the station?
[Jane:] Mhm.
[David:] Well, well... well in the book it said... that, that, that... that er this Gordon's er... is, he's er, he's trying to do a Truro.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] Yes [].
[David:] But on the television it says, it doesn't do that.
[Jane:] Er, well you know because you read the books
[David:] It's only there
[Jane:] very carefully.
[David:] for today.
[Jane:] Do you remember when Gordon went rushing through when he'd got his whistles out?
[David:] Yeah. And the
[Jane:] Aha.
[David:] story books.
[Jane:] That was one of the earlier stories.
[David:] Yes. That was the first one where Dot gets cold.
[Jane:] Mm. I like that book. I like the earlier stories better than the recent ones.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] I'm not, not so keen on those. I like the books, the original books that I had when I was a little rather than the new books.
[David:] Books of Thomas?
[Jane:] Yes.
[David:] Mm.
[Jane:] The pictures are nicer in those books.
[David:] But mum... er
[Jane:] Well I think so.
[David:] whose were they? David, Annie, May.
[Jane:] No. But they belonged to my brother.
[David:] Ah! They've give me that. Mum.
[Jane:] I'll erm
[David:] It is kind of but they len to le lend them their Thomas books
[Jane:] Mm.
[David:] and I didn't take the ones I already had.
[Jane:] Well they haven't got any children in their family so they put
[David:] Well but
[Jane:] children.
[David:] Mum. There was,the there were two they had that I had got. So er, they had The Big Engine and I, I've read that so... but the small railway engines.
[Jane:] Aha. [yawning] Oh! I must stop yawning []. I wish I could... I wish I had a bit more energy this morning.
[David:] Mum, this is only just a yard.
[Jane:] Yes, you've got it looking like the yard. Where are the engines now? You could do the turntable in front. Cos that's how it is in the book isn't it? When they. Or facing that to go on the turntable.
[David:] Yes. And mum.
[Jane:] Mind your head lovey. You're very close
[David:] You see the
[Jane:] to that table.
[David:] have you noticed
[Jane:] Mm mm?
[David:] that... you know erm all like tracks which lead into the sheds
[Jane:] [yawning] Oh! Excuse me. Yeah [].
[David:] Well I was gonna say it didn't have erm... have... lines, they were on the side.
[Jane:] Well that's right, yes.
[David:] So that they can be turned onto the track like going to the... goods show.
[Jane:] Yes. They've got.
[David:] Mhm mm. Cos Gordon wanted to go to straight through this... and th the turn table.
[Jane:] Can you think of another way of turning the engine without using the turntable?
[David:] Of course!
[Jane:] Can you?
[David:] I'll use, I'll use Duck.
[Jane:] Just demonstrate it for me. Mm mm. Have you ever seen an engine go on a coach like, kerb like that?
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] What was the shape we were talking about yesterday?
[David:] It's a triangle.
[Jane:] That's right. It's got a curve on each end. Yeah? And what is the matter with that? That's it. And then it goes backwards. No actually it doesn't have a curve, it is a triangle but it's got a longer base hasn't it? It would extend so that it could just jump back.
[David:] Right. To there.
[Jane:] Mm.
[David:] Up to the top.
[Jane:] Then you can get an engine tuned without using the turntable... these.
[David:] Like
[Jane:] Cos James is pointing, it goes backwards. You've got engines facing in opposite directions.
[David:] Oh. Ha!
[Jane:] [yawn]
[David:] I'll walk.... Take one of these off mum. [door slam]
[Jane:] Oh! That's daddy and Christopher back again. That didn't take them long did it? I hope they've got the bits now. I really ought to go and help them seeing as we're.
[David:] Mm. [humming]... Oh mum!
[Jane:] Mhm mm. Oh mum!
[David:] Tt!
[Jane:] Did you cut... oh well you've cut them up alright.
[David:] No! I don't want to chop them up. Yes. There's one man... I was go was always good at playing with those [LAUGHTER] lost my []
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] Yes [].
[David:] in an exam.
[Jane:] You're nearly laughing aren't you? Yes, that's all we ever do.
[David:] But then when you got a ta... th the new one is that when you've got the tape recorder on you go wo ho ho ho ho ho!
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... Though sometimes, when they've been smashed into and then I have to turn the other way, they go oh! Horror struck aren't they half the time. Somebody as asked to keep it.
[David:] Well
[Jane:] When James and Tara had it, d'ya remember?
[David:] Oh yes. And mum
[Jane:] Well, that's just
[David:] in the brake, in the brake van.
[Jane:] Oh that's the other one. Yes.
[David:] The brake van. The face was on the other end... and it was looking really surprised.
[Jane:] Yes. What sort of face did he have then... to make it look surprised? How did they draw a face?
[David:] Er
[Jane:] At school there.
[David:] Er... No.
[Jane:] Make his mouth wide open and the... the eyebrows
[David:] Well I ha
[Jane:] were up weren't they? Like that. Yes that's it.
[David:] Do it like this?
[Jane:] A bit No do it u the mouth open a bit more. It's only tripped up and trip over there don't you?... Instead the eyes are looking... rather smiling, they're looking [LAUGHTER] surprised [], or they're frightened.
[David:] Or they're laughing.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Mm mm?
[David:] But... but that, that, the one about the train
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[David:] was the er, one I, the one I'm doing too well.
[Jane:] Yeah.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] The one that we never done.
[David:] I dunno which goes... er
[Jane:] Check with the one that's in the book.
[David:] No, not that one. It's er... something, something
[Jane:] Oh oh.
[David:] something, something... in and out of the Eagle.
[Jane:] Well that's the original Pop goes the Weasel... song.
[David:] Yes.
[Jane:] How did you get on today then?
[Christopher:] Er, well we've got one bit erm... it was ten P and I gave twenty P.
[Jane:] What, it was ten P and you gave... [LAUGHTER] the man twenty P
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] and you gave one twenty P and you gave the man ten P []?
[Christopher:] It was ten P but I gave the man twenty P.
[Jane:] Well I
[Christopher:] Well cos they'd run out of change.
[Jane:] Oh I see.
[David:] So you were being generous were you?
[Jane:] Mm mm. So your father's got money to burn? I must go and turn out his pockets.
[David:] So, so your dad's being generous then
[Jane:] Said it was no good anyway?
[David:] was he?
[Christopher:] No.
[Jane:] So it's completely wasted?
[David:] So dad's been generous has he?
[Jane:] Well daddy was.
[Christopher:] Have you got so much money? I'll have it.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[David:] I've got loads of money!
[Jane:] Yes you have.
[Christopher:] I've got about forty five pound!
[David:] I am still not going to dra I am no I'm still not going to buy Chrissy any! Cos that'll take the train, all my money.
[Jane:] Your money comes out of the Post Office on the eleventh. Er, I'll do it.
[Christopher:] Mine?
[Jane:] No. I meant with your birthday.
[Christopher:] Some of it. Ours is in the same place?
[Jane:] Yes. On Saturday.
[Christopher:] And i
[David:] [singing] Da doo doo doo doo da, doo doo loo, da loo da loo, la la la la, la la
[Jane:] Well you can't get it done in the Post Office.
[David:] doo la doo la doo loo
[Jane:] You just haven't got any.
[David:] doo da doo.
[Christopher:] And I have to get it out.
[David:] Da doo doo da la doo loo la, da da da da da da la, da la da la da la
[Jane:] Well you have to go through all this rigmarole of paperwork, you can't just go in and hand over your book and say please can I have five pounds now then I want to go and buy a book or something. In a Post Office you have to, you see, unless I'm... misunderstanding it really, you have to... well I might as well, if I go and get it all out from the bank.
[David:] diddle diddle ee, da da da, da da. Ba ba [].
[Christopher:] We can either take erm [humming]
[Jane:] The reason I put it in the Post Office years ago was erm
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] cos you didn't have to pay tax cos you're a non-taxpayer... and everybody that went to a building society got it taxed. But then they also you can register as a non-taxpayer.
[Christopher:] Anybody can. You only have to ask.
[Jane:] Well you have to be a non-tax payer, you can't cheat.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] But it's obvious at your age... that you won't be a tax payer. Not that you've got
[David:] I'm not one
[Christopher:] You could give all your money to me and say [LAUGHTER] there I'm not tax paying [].
[Jane:] Yes, I must admit tha that's a possibility but er
[David:] [singing] Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba da ba [].
[Christopher:] Mm. [LAUGHTER]
[David:] [humming] No I like best.
[Jane:] Why? Why's that?
[David:] I dunno. I don't know.... Mum.
[Jane:] Mm?
[David:] I like the engines with the car's face, I like Trevor best. Mum. I'll be getting some of those. Cos Bill and Ben and Gordon and Duck.
[Jane:] Well that's what I'm saying, why don't you use the money that Geoffrey and Jean gave you with al... buy something and then you can write to them and tell them what you've... cos it's a fortnight since your birthday, it's time you're writing to them they'll think you're a most ungrateful child if you don't write and say thank you.
[David:] Well I never get time.
[Christopher:] Out.
[Jane:] What do you mean you never get time? You've got plenty of time you just don't have the inclination.
[David:] We... what you never ask me.
[Jane:] Oh I see well it's my fault is it?
[Christopher:] Yeah. You never ask me.
[David:] Ha?
[Jane:] You know where the writing pad is. You can go and get it out, you're a big enough boy now to fetch it.
[David:] I've forgotten where it is.
[Christopher:] Play Monopoly mum?
[Jane:] I knew you were going to say that. I'll show you where it is. Yes we'll finish it this afternoon.
[Christopher:] Why not now you can sit here?
[Jane:] Because erm, I'm absolutely shattered after last night.
[David:] How?
[Jane:] I really am tired.
[Christopher:] Well I'll play for two players. It's my go.
[Jane:] It is your go. that's why I put the dice on your
[Christopher:] I'll have a go then. Like that.
[Jane:] The then put the dice back here so that then David... can go.
[Christopher:] Seven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
[Jane:] Ooh! Double, oh that's on David's double rent.
[David:] Yes! Double rent altogether.
[Jane:] Cos he's got a
[Christopher:] How come?
[Jane:] house on. I think you're going to win Da Christopher.
[David:] We I was
[Christopher:] Why? You've got Mayfair.
[Jane:] Yes, but you've got Park Lane and I, I've no way of getting a set now.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] All I can do is land on all your.
[David:] [humming]
[Christopher:] Well
[Jane:] David and I, when he was ill and got in bed, played the shortened version where you... shuffle all the property cards up
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] and deal them out... face down,yo you, you deal them out to each other first. Not all the of them, just a couple. And that helps you get the game started.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] Yeah, that was quite good.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] Well I don't mean to shorten the time, it's better than playing all day.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] Well no, it does work. I mean, obviously we've been playing this game for hours. This is about the fourth time we've played
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] on the same game.
[David:] [humming]
[Christopher:] Oh yeah.
[Jane:] What's daddy doing?
[Christopher:] Trying to fix the lawnmower.
[Jane:] I think we should go and give him a hand.
[David:] [humming]
[Christopher:] No I just come in cos it's too cold out there.
[Jane:] Well you must put a coat on you know.
[Christopher:] No.
[Jane:] Of course. Put a coat on.
[Christopher:] Yes.
[David:] [humming]
[Christopher:] in the shop. But, yeah it was.
[Jane:] It's so bright and sunny out there you forget that it's so cold as well.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] So we'll get wrapped up.... I shall get these aren't they? The snowdrops are full up.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] Do you ever have many, get them ones in the that little house? I must get some more, some more out of. Is that your money you're buying for your house?
[David:] [humming]
[Christopher:] I've got... with this house. Sixty pounds. I just bought
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] Eh, you're buying hotels already? Well there's no chance.
[Christopher:] It's only... four hundred and fifty pounds for Whitechapel.
[Jane:] Yes I know but
[Christopher:] And two hundred and thirty
[Jane:] they're nice little earners [LAUGHTER] aren't they []?
[Christopher:] Yes.
[Jane:] Yes.
[David:] [humming]
[Christopher:] That's why I get them. Yeah. Both of those
[Jane:] Oh I, I
[Christopher:] two hundred and fifty, then the Whitechapel's four hundred.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] I always
[David:] [humming]... [singing] Da da da da, da da da da er er er. Da da, da da [].
[Jane:] It's David's go isn't it?
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] Can you put them on his, by his top hat then so that's his
[Christopher:] Yeah but if... hmm
[Jane:] Yes I know it's very confusing. We're all together aren't we?
[David:] Aargh!
[Jane:] Why have I landed on
[Christopher:] I think it's on this
[Jane:] did I pay you, I've
[David:] [sneeze]
[Christopher:] I'll put it there till he next moves
[Jane:] Okay.
[Christopher:] it.
[Jane:] David go and blow your nose. You horrible child!
[David:] I'm not horrible!
[Jane:] Well, alright, you semi-horrible child.
[David:] Mummy!
[Jane:] Mm mm?
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] Did somebod body say took a go at my place. I seem to... have very little money.
[Christopher:] Dunno.
[Jane:] Was he playing for me?
[Christopher:] Joan.
[Jane:] Joan? No, that was last Saturday. Oh that reminds me, did you say you rang David this morning?
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] And?
[Christopher:] He was... in
[Jane:] Don't tell me, he's going to help?
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... Look.
[Christopher:] Look.
[Jane:] What's he doing?
[Christopher:] He's entering a competition so he wo he won't be playing this morning
[Jane:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] and he's expecting some people to come round for his... Legos.
[Jane:] Lego. Yes I noticed
[Christopher:] He's, he's gonna be bombarded by calls.
[Jane:] He's just, he's just put an advertisement in the paper.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] I noticed it this week. Sell the rest of his Lego.
[Christopher:] He's had, he's sold most of it. But
[David:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] they're just finishing.
[Jane:] he's sold a fair amount to us, remember?
[Christopher:] Mm.
[David:] Only his hospital he's keeping.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] Come on, give that nose a good blow
[David:] Erm still got the roads down there... scenery bits.
[Jane:] Er, do you want some more scenery for you Lego? Well if you do you can go out and buy some more if you want.
[Christopher:] Well I might do.
[David:] Well what we really want is more roads.
[Christopher:] Like this
[Jane:] Are you getting for the Lego?
[Christopher:] just er... you'll have to buy all that thing for ten pounds.
[Jane:] Oh. Erm... what was I going to say? You see, we've got that board made and you just haven't played with your Lego much since have you?
[Christopher:] No.
[Jane:] Is it because it, I mean... can you give me a reason? You were so keen to get all that Lego and you've got tons of Lego and yo you're not playing with it. Any particular reason?
[David:] Yeah but, yeah... it's funny cos, cos... it's funny cos I got that new Lego... you didn't at all.
[Jane:] No.
[Christopher:] No.
[Jane:] No it's not that.
[David:] Mm mm.
[Jane:] It's just we got the board and it's taking up all the room in the playroom... and yet you're not playing with it.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] Why? Is there some reason? But can we ju
[David:] Well cos I got very little Lego.
[Jane:] Can we improve it at all? I mean,wha what, what is it that you don't like about it?
[Christopher:] I just don't like it now.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] It's just that you were so keen.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] And now
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] you've hardly touched
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] it. Yeah.
[David:] Can I take that...
[Christopher:] Can I just
[David:] it's this thing about this Lego piece
[Jane:] I'm talking to Christopher.
[David:] Mhm.
[Christopher:] This erm
[Jane:] It's alright.
[Christopher:] No, it's erm... because you, do the same thing over and over again that you find... and no haven't got... big... lots of er, when you went to the small amount of the town.
[Jane:] But you've got lots of Lego. Even, I've never seen it all set up at the same time. The police station, the fire station... I think there was a harbour as well.
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[David:] No.
[Jane:] You've got
[Christopher:] I like the airport
[Jane:] the airport.
[Christopher:] I know. I haven't got an airport, I've got an aeroplane and a helicopter, I haven't got an airport.
[Jane:] Well can't you sort of build yo you've got all the other Lego that... and the red
[David:] Mum!
[Jane:] I used
[Christopher:] Mhm.
[Jane:] remember the, the red and the whites and grey Lego that I, you've got that, why can't you build something with that?
[Christopher:] Cos it's
[David:] I can.
[Christopher:] mixed up!
[Jane:] Why don't you make, build houses with that? Yes as long as you o you use it. I mean, it, it doesn't have to
[Christopher:] [sigh]... It's all been mixed up with the
[Jane:] Well tha that doesn't
[Christopher:] the other one.
[Jane:] matter. Why just don't you... use all the Lego, build something. I mean, you can use the Duplo to build something couldn't you?
[Christopher:] Mm.
[David:] Mum, the Duplo's up there. Chris, I remember when... me and Chrissy used to play with it... tha Du mainly Duplo but we had some other... tt... like the Lego.
[Jane:] I'm just a bit disappointed that th there really is a lot of money's worth of Lego and you're not playing with it.
[David:] He will..
[Jane:] This.
[Christopher:] What I'd like is the erm... there's the airport
[David:] Can you
[Christopher:] and there's this sort of... airport monorail.
[Jane:] Yes.
[Christopher:] It's very good. It's, it's la it's like a railway
[Jane:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] in sort of Lego. This monorail goes around, it stops at the bo the bottom stage and it goes over the top stage.
[Jane:] Mm. It sounds quite good then. But er
[Christopher:] It costs a hu a hundred pound.
[Jane:] you wanted, you wanted lots of Lego, you've got lots of Lego
[David:] station.
[Jane:] now I'm, I don't feel like spending any more on Lego now Chris.
[David:] And we can, Chrissy we can make a space monorail.
[Jane:] Unless you want some bits from down there.
[David:] Well... we need some standing posts. That's what we need.
[Jane:] If you're not gonna play with the Lego Chrissy, can you pack some into the boxes and I'll put that board away.
[Christopher:] Mm mm.
[Jane:] Then we'll get back into the playroom again.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] Shall we sell it then?
[Christopher:] I don't know.
[Jane:] Well I, I'm so disappointed.
[David:] What sell all our Legos!
[Jane:] Well
[David:] Don't!
[Jane:] that was what you really wanted. Do you remember that long letter you wrote at Christmas?
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] I just haven't worked out
[David:] No, Monopoly's better than Lego.
[Phillip:] Excuse me.... Run out of.
[Christopher:] [singing] Dee dee dee dee [].
[Jane:] Oh I thought it was informal.
[Phillip:] I'd like to believe that er
[Jane:] David!
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] David wants to go to bed.
[Phillip:] I know he does.
[Christopher:] [humming]
[Phillip:] Do you want to go to bed David?
[David:] [mimicking snoring]
[Jane:] I think you're as well on, on the sofa with er
[Phillip:] Why what's up?
[Jane:] the rug.
[David:] Go to bed.
[Phillip:] Go on then.
[David:] Mhm.
[Phillip:] Not, not like him to ever want to go to bed truly. [sigh]
[Christopher:] [humming]
[Jane:] He had a late night
[Phillip:] Do you want your tea over there or do you want it
[Jane:] No I'll bring it, I wanna go over there. We're going to be late to dinner tonight aren't we I think?
[Phillip:] Ah.
[Jane:] The time's.
[Phillip:] Nothing's boiling.
[Jane:] Well that's true.
[Christopher:] [humming]
[Jane:] If we... were you thinking of going to Health Chardonne?
[Phillip:] Well... yes, because er A
[Jane:] Only I thought
[Phillip:] if they deliver it it's... cheaper than going to Scunny or
[Jane:] Well yes, but we've still got the problem of erm
[Phillip:] But if, if we go in my car to fetch it I can't take the kids.
[Jane:] I know. I know. Well, which means I can't come. I thought it'd be nice if we all went together. But you mean go during the week some time?
[Phillip:] No, I wasn't thinking of any time. Erm... you could take two cars if you want to.
[Jane:] No, I think that's a bit of a waste. I thought you might have time during the week to pop into Hull that was all. A lunchtime
[Phillip:] No.
[Jane:] or something. I could come with you.
[Phillip:] Well I don't know. I really don't know.
[Jane:] You don't know what a normal week is now do you?
[Phillip:] Anyway popping into Hull is a thing of the past isn't it?
[Jane:] I suppose it is.... Well how much are their delivery charges?
[Phillip:] Well I don't know. Ten, fifteen quid I should think.
[Jane:] Ee ooh! Well it's worth asking anyway isn't it?
[Phillip:] Mm.... If they'd left one of these out
[Jane:] Oh.
[Phillip:] when we were down in B & Q
[Jane:] Oh while we were there the other day.
[Phillip:] wouldn't have had to spend those hours
[Jane:] Yes.
[Phillip:] finding somebody. Twenty two to, Hardpool Star garden compost. That's thirty four ninety nine.
[Jane:] You see. I mean, all these, these grass cuttings erm from what Chris is doing now could go in. It's a shame just to waste it isn't it?
[Phillip:] B & Q growing bags. The only thing is, you can't find them.
[Jane:] Cos you're filling up the weeder bin and I want... well... anyway,we we've got to get sorted out compost for it.... There's some baby sweet corn left erm... oh I might get
[Phillip:] They, they won't be very good.
[Jane:] I'll put them in a chicken casserole tomorrow. I can use all these peppers up as well.... With the sauce. Oh I need some more tomatoes.... I guess Chrissy's coming in for something to eat.
[Phillip:] Well I called him but... I didn't think there was a rush.
[Jane:] No there isn't.... Saturdays are going to take some, they always take some getting used to when the football season's first finishing. I don't know
[Phillip:] The erm
[Jane:] ah I've got loads of mushrooms left, put those in the casserole, that's what I've got left.
[Phillip:] The B & Q conservatory, that one you were in the other day
[Jane:] Oh yes.
[Phillip:] which comes in one size, twelve foot four by ten foot two.
[Jane:] Oh! Want one bigger than that.
[Phillip:] Three thousand six hundred and ninety nine. Not bad.
[Jane:] Oh! Erm... talking about conservatories... for which you need, I've read about the quiz. Yes, it starts at, it says on the front it starts at seven, and then at the back... it says the actual quiz starts at seven thirty. Seven thirty to eight fifteen, then there's an interval which you have pie and peas, which is always good at the town hall... erm, and then it's nine to nine thirty part two of the quiz. So really it sounds the sort of thing that'll be nice for you and I to go really just to get away from the children. Or do you want to go on your own so you don't have to get a sitter? But I need to be knowing cos if we're going out I'll have to
[Phillip:] That's right. Yeah.
[Jane:] let the other... man, the conservatory man know, it's not fair to... not be here to.
[Phillip:] Mm. He's gonna be a pain in the neck!
[Jane:] I know love.
[Phillip:] I mean... there's no intention of letting somebody like that have a go. I was gonna do it myself.
[Jane:] Well if there's no intention I may as well cancel him altogether. There's no point in wasting his time either.
[Phillip:] Well we're not are we?
[Jane:] Well if we're not I'll ring him up and say... I'll say... er
[Phillip:] Hey we're going out and be,we we're going to have them build us one, I mean... er... my intention is I might get... Stuart or somebody to put the bricks at the bottom.
[Jane:] Yes. Sort of a semi do-it-yourself.
[Phillip:] But a it'll, I'll assemble it myself.
[Jane:] Yeah. Okay. Cos Johnny can come up and give us a hand can't he?
[Phillip:] I could do the lot actually if it comes down to it.
[Jane:] Are you okay with what I've put out? That ham and potato and salad.
[Phillip:] Yeah! More than enough thanks.
[Jane:] I'll warm some of these, well I won't warm all of them.
[Phillip:] [whistling]
[Jane:] Right. Davey! Come on. Do yo do you want some ham and some peppers? If you get a jacket potato?
[David:] I'll do it mum. Is it, is it old, old?
[Jane:] Yes, it's the same sort of thing, and then it warms them up.
[David:] No thanks.
[Jane:] No? Oh!
[David:] [talking from other room]
[Phillip:] Chrissy!
[Christopher:] I'm not finished yet.
[Phillip:] Lunchtime. Stop it.
[Jane:] He's done very well hasn't he?
[Phillip:] Stop the mower. Oh I haven't shown you how to do that. Chris! Oh what the heck!
[Jane:] Well as long as he doesn't hurt himself.... It's alright Chris. Dad's saying you haven't go you've done very well.
[Christopher:] That's still going but er...
[Jane:] But it
[Christopher:] come back to all the grass now.
[Jane:] I can see, can you sha can you go and [LAUGHTER] get all the grass off your socks []! Ah ah!... [LAUGHTER] He, says he's been in the wheelie bin and jumped on the grass Phil [].
[Phillip:] Who?
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] He says, he's filled the wheelie bin and it's go he's been in it and jumped on the top, so course... his track suit is []
[Phillip:] Well it's not... it's not bad what you've done.
[Jane:] got covered in grass.
[Phillip:] Pardon?
[Christopher:] I didn't do that much. I thought you had to push it?
[Phillip:] Oh no.. Erm... take your gloves and just shake them outside.
[Christopher:] What's that?
[Phillip:] No I'll, I'll ha have another go later.
[Jane:] I'll warm those up. I think I'll warm all those up because we might eat
[Phillip:] Bye.
[Jane:] them all. Ooh it's cold!
[Phillip:] Well he's coming in. David! Come on!
[Jane:] I shall hoover you to get that grass off.... Thank you, cleaning these up.
[Phillip:] Hands washed boyo.
[Jane:] I bet it's come again and I was dashing in to, I had about two minutes to Sunday
[Phillip:] Hey!
[Jane:] night. And I wa as it was I was in the bread queue.
[Christopher:] Aargh!
[Jane:] And queue up soon and get in there.
[Phillip:] Who complained?... Either way, that's too late for the kids.
[Jane:] Yes.
[Phillip:] But the thing you won't like it, it'll probably be John there.
[Jane:] John?
[Phillip:] . Well he will be.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... Well... aha
[Phillip:] and Simon and things. Yes, well, if you go, if just you and I go we're likely to end up with somebody who knows us.
[Jane:] We have to make up a team though don't we? I mean, we can't do it on our own?
[Phillip:] But you, probably wouldn't want to be with John.
[Jane:] Well... yes but it... will... Ruth be going? And how are we going to make a team?
[Phillip:] I would doubt Ruth will be going.
[Jane:] But it sounds as if it's a sort of family evening though doesn't it? I mean... shall we take somebody with us? I mean, would Dave and Wendy want to go?
[Phillip:] Mm mm. I don't know. I don't really know what it is.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] But I'll read it again. Hang on.
[Jane:] Read it again. We ought to be making our minds up. Cos if that, if you go on your own that's fine, but if I'm going we've got to get a sitter.
[Phillip:] Well it says, entrants may take part as individuals or as teams of up to four persons.
[Jane:] Oh well, oh you and I can do a
[Phillip:] So we don't need
[Jane:] you and I can do a team on our own then.
[Christopher:] Can I come as well?
[Jane:] I'd like to take you Chris but it is a school night, I think it's going to be,yo it'll be ten o'clock before we got home.
[Phillip:] [reading leaflet] The quiz will contain some sixty questions covering general knowledge and not just railways. So there is nothing for a family to be afraid of [].
[Jane:] If it was er space then we need Chris because
[Christopher:] Mm mm mm.
[Jane:] co we need Chris as our space expert.
[David:] And me! As my
[Jane:] Oh! And you, aren't you being
[Phillip:] What are you an expert on?
[Jane:] What are you an expert on?
[David:] Railways.
[Jane:] Well that's true, yes.
[Phillip:] Yes, you're not bad are you?
[Jane:] Yes.
[David:] They don't even know who built the first engine?
[Phillip:] Who don't?
[David:] The people at the quiz.
[Jane:] Oh I'm sure
[Phillip:] Oh I should think they will do.
[Christopher:] The person who's.
[Jane:] Definitely.
[David:] Yes. Like you go... number one,.
[Christopher:] Number one, who's Richard? [LAUGHTER] A person [].
[Phillip:] Where from?
[David:] Now, number two, he's a Cor
[Christopher:] England.
[David:] he's a Cornish man.
[Phillip:] Very good. Very good. What was his inside leg measurements?
[David:] That's English. It's English though isn't it?
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] Who wants a tiny bit
[Phillip:] Yes, Chris.
[Jane:] of cheese?
[Phillip:] But actually he built his first engine, I think, for a... quarry in
[David:] Pennydaryn Pennydaryn.
[Jane:] Wales.
[Phillip:] That's right. And where was that? Yes.
[Christopher:] Wales.
[Phillip:] Chrissy's got it.
[Jane:] For a six year old you know a lot about engines. The potato's ready in a moment kids.
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] If anyone wants a little bit of cheese I'll do it. [cough]
[David:] I know he, he broke the rails he broke in rails because some silly man was talking to him in Wales!
[Jane:] cholesterol level. Actually I'll do a little bit more than that.
[David:] Well that's Richard 's fault.
[Phillip:] No, no it wasn't he put on too many weights sunshine
[Jane:] Oh no you can't have much cheese.
[Phillip:] The engine was just too heavy.
[David:] Yes.
[Jane:] What happened?
[Phillip:] Er er... what?
[David:] It it broke, it broke
[Jane:] To, to, to the engine?
[David:] the track, it split the rails.
[Jane:] Did it?
[David:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] Well yes be
[Jane:] I don't know much about this sort of thing. You don't want
[Phillip:] because the
[Jane:] any cheese do you Phillip?
[Phillip:] No thanks. The plate, the plate ways, the railways they had then... were built for horses to pull trucks on.
[Jane:] Thank you.
[Phillip:] And they di
[David:] They fell off.
[Phillip:] they didn't know a lot about steel, they were made out of iron.
[Jane:] Mm. You can have a
[Phillip:] And when he built his first engine it was made out of erm... iron and stuff and was extremely heavy.
[Jane:] I haven't done enough peppers. What am I thinking of there?
[Christopher:] Is steel lighter than iron?
[Phillip:] Well not necessarily Chris. Erm
[Christopher:] Is it stronger but
[Phillip:] It's, it's stronger weight for weight, you see, or... well it can be in certain circumstances.
[Jane:] Grab a chair there.
[Phillip:] Steel tends to be a bit more elastic.
[Christopher:] Oh.
[Phillip:] Iron do iron, certainly the stuff they used then, cast iron, was very brittle and
[Christopher:] Aha.
[Phillip:] so it won't stand shocks.
[Jane:] Mm.
[Phillip:] So if you put a big heavy engine going down a cast iron railway... which won't
[Christopher:] That might hit the railway,
[Phillip:] which won't be made... properly
[Christopher:] Ah.
[Phillip:] it'll go... and crack it.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Phillip:] But I mean, having said that, there's lots of cast iron bridges around still,lo the one at Stamford Bridge is er
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Phillip:] cast iron and I mean, it's no problem in that... situation.
[David:] And get a shock. Ah ah! The steam engine [LAUGHTER] coming through [].
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[David:] And that railway that, little railway wi is made of cast iron. In the middle.
[Phillip:] I just said that.... The one at Stamford?
[David:] Near the old railway bridge.
[Phillip:] Which one David?
[Christopher:] The walk on one?
[Jane:] Which one? Over there?
[Phillip:] Oh! This one here. No, that'll be steel. That was only cos you came
[Jane:] Ham David?
[David:] Yes please.
[Phillip:] in the, in the sixties Chris it wasn't erm so
[Jane:] I didn't make any coleslaw, you like coleslaw don't you?
[Phillip:] So it's a comparatively modern bridge.
[Jane:] I'll have some lettuce
[Phillip:] The
[Jane:] though.
[Phillip:] there used to be a level crossing there.
[David:] Mm mm. Oh yeah.
[Phillip:] Eastgate used to go right through down to join
[David:] Hey!
[Phillip:] erm
[Jane:] That's right.
[Phillip:] Anderson Street.
[Jane:] Ooh!
[Phillip:] But you see that would have given, one, two, three, four crossings on that, within half a mile in Driffield, so they closed that one and put a footbridge over and erm... thanks.
[Jane:] I'll take that. I'll take that one for you.
[Christopher:] And three crossings in about five hundred metres.
[Phillip:] Well, that's about right, yes.... So, you can imagine what it'll be like cos erm... twenty years ago in the summer, well no, twenty five years ago
[David:] That one.
[Phillip:] Saturdays and Sundays there would be trains every ten minutes going to Brid.
[Jane:] Are you going to put butter on that yourself
[David:] A
[Jane:] darling?
[David:] Attlington.
[Phillip:] Pardon? You've got your mouth full. Just wait.
[Jane:] That's not right. So do, erm I'll get you some butter in a minute.
[Christopher:] They go every half hour now don't they?
[Phillip:] Hang on a minute, it's
[Jane:] I think so.
[Phillip:] [sneeze]
[Jane:] They don't take long.
[Phillip:] [blowing nose] Oh excuse me!... That's the damp grass. Mm.
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Yeah. Erm... no they le
[David:] Dad I said er
[Phillip:] well er, I'm, excuse me David I'm talking to Chris. Yeah, they're normally every half... hour, but
[Christopher:] In the sixties
[Phillip:] when it used to be summer Saturdays and Sundays they were excursions, they weren't... service trains. Some weekends like Eas erm, not Easter, bank holidays, August bank holiday and stuff, you'd have as many as they could get in.
[Christopher:] You know I don't
[Jane:] I'm sorry, I was just, I was gonna pass that to daddy.
[Phillip:] And did you know that when, when they used to go to Bridlington you know, you know where the big signal box is at Bridlington, near B & Q?
[Christopher:] Yeah, yes
[Phillip:] Where the bus, and you know where the buses park and everything, that used to be all sidings... right under that bridge that's got the weight limit on
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] for storing the engines and the coaches... for the excursions
[David:] And trucks.
[Phillip:] and they used to get so many
[David:] And trucks.
[Phillip:] And trucks Dave. Well they didn't have trucks for excursions, they didn't take any sheep and cattle to the seaside for a day.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] But
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] they erm
[Jane:] The donkeys were already there.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] they used to, they used to travel them back to Driffield if they were full and keep the empty coaches... in two sidings. It used to be down to Meadow Road. And they used to keep them there until it was time for people to go out and then they'd run them back up to Brid. So it was that crowded.
[David:] How did you know?
[Jane:] You know, you'd think things had changed a long time ago but erm... I remember having Chrissy in that yard when he was a baby in his pushchair... where... and there was the coalman's horse and erm
[Phillip:] Oh at Brid?
[Jane:] cart at Bridlington. You know, and guess what, I remember
[Christopher:] I can remember that.
[Jane:] it was Edgar.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] You can remember? That's very impressive!
[Phillip:] Well he's probably seen the pictures as well but
[Jane:] Seen the pictures, yes.
[David:] And he's seen the.
[Jane:] Yes but we had you there
[Phillip:] Aargh! Aargh! Aargh! [whistling] Hot!
[Jane:] Well it's not that hot if you put your hand at the side. I thought you would have known not to put your hand over the.
[David:] Mum, can I have some bread and butter?
[Phillip:] I didn't, I just
[David:] Bread and butter.
[Phillip:] gripped it with my hand.
[David:] Mum can I have some
[Phillip:] Sorry.
[David:] bread and butter? It's stuck together.
[Phillip:] I beg your pardon?
[David:] Please.
[Jane:] Do you want some of this?
[Phillip:] Do you want that piece... or do you want me to cut you another?
[David:] That... other please cos I don't tend to bother with Yorkshire.
[Phillip:] [sigh] Don't be silly!
[Jane:] Mm. Jolly nice bread.
[Phillip:] Mm?
[Christopher:] It's much easier cutting that. Are you not going do all that? Dad! You're not going to eat all that?
[Jane:] He'll eat as much as we can. growing lad.
[Christopher:] Yes.
[Phillip:] I'm a growing lad.
[Christopher:] There's your... piece of bread.
[Phillip:] Do you want it folded? Or do you want it cut?
[Jane:] Sorry Chris?
[David:] Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.
[Christopher:] Dad.
[David:] Cut.
[Phillip:] What?
[Christopher:] When is the next?
[David:] Thanks dad.
[Jane:] When is that?
[Christopher:] Next year isn't it
[Phillip:] Oh erm
[Jane:] coming one.
[Phillip:] there's one in
[Christopher:] Eh?
[Phillip:] there's one in April, and it might be Easter. Erm... I've a feeling it's the eighteenth. I there's
[Jane:] That's the Saturday, that's the Easter Saturday.
[Phillip:] Yeah. And... Easter, whether we're here or not, there's erm... I think there's that train coming through here... it is the... model railway exhibition in York. That's the big one. That's at the racecourse.
[Christopher:] Oh yeah.
[Phillip:] And there's a swot meet at New Earswick... on
[Jane:] Mm.
[Phillip:] erm... the
[Jane:] Mm.
[Phillip:] Saturday.
[Jane:] Is there any point in trying to go away for Easter now if there's so much going on? Could you pass the mug and I'll pour Chrissy a cup of tea.
[Phillip:] And of course the National Art Museum... Exhibition reopened.
[Jane:] Oh yes! We said we'd do that.
[Phillip:] Well I'll get the afternoon off then, if the kids are off.
[Jane:] Yes. The children, oh sorry Chrissy I put you too much water in there.
[David:] Well we're not going on the opening day.
[Jane:] Well never mind, I'll pour you some.
[Phillip:] Why not?
[Jane:] Set me straight. I mean do we want to go and stay with the children at camp or shall we stay home?
[David:] Everybody in York will be wanting to go.
[Jane:] Maybe we'd better aim for the spring half term to go away.
[Phillip:] Well do you want stay at caravan then?
[Jane:] Well, I don't know we went, it depends on the weather I mean, we went last year at
[Phillip:] Well I mean
[Jane:] half term and the weather wasn't very good.
[Phillip:] Yeah I mean lo yo I mean look at now, you could have gone away now.
[Jane:] Right.... Well it's just it gets dark a bi it still gets dark early and when we've got the children, I mean
[Phillip:] They've got all their chess sets and things.
[Jane:] Mm. Mm mm. Yes but we tend to use it like even the light's not working.
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] I found in Northumberland, the worst bit was it was just going out in the cold to the shower. I mean there's much better hot showers it was okay but... then it was, and the
[Phillip:] Yeah but I mean we
[Jane:] building was cold.
[Phillip:] we were just unlucky that was, that was raw.
[Jane:] Mm. Well yes, what was wrong with it? Erm
[Phillip:] Pardon?
[Jane:] oh yes, we never got to see the fields did we, cos the mist coming out?
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] And whereas, if we'd been in the Lake District we'd have got a tan, so it just depends.
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] Well okay, that was a time she'd been camping in the Lake District, Mrs did.
[Christopher:] What?
[Jane:] And see where her socks had been while she'd been climbing.
[Christopher:] What?
[Phillip:] Erm, where I staying this week, Chris, was only about... oh ten miles from Morpeth... and, you know, not far from... Annick and places like that.
[Jane:] Well we said, did you not visit and Morpeth and Annick... well we we went round a few castles in that area... to keep out the rain.
[David:] Ah! Shall I tell you what I, shall I tell you what mountain I, she climbed.
[Christopher:] Mm mm. Mount Everest?
[David:] No.
[Jane:] Mm mm. Not necessarily.
[Phillip:] Go on David.
[Christopher:] Is try and make up a mountain that's misty, so she looked at the map and began to climb down.
[Phillip:] Who's her?
[David:] So
[Jane:] Mrs. She was going climbing
[Phillip:] Oh oh!
[Jane:] in the Lake District.
[David:] and looked
[Phillip:] I thought he was telling us about a mountain he climbed.
[David:] No.
[Phillip:] Can't you remember any of those castles up there then Chris that you went round?
[Christopher:] What? Where's that sheet?
[Jane:] They're on the dining room table. Chris, David's moved them.
[Christopher:] I can remember one castle... Rareapple.
[Jane:] Oh well that
[Phillip:] Mm. That's not in the north east.
[Jane:] I must admit, that's the one that always springs to mind bu was it Bamber? Bamber?
[Phillip:] Bamber?
[Jane:] Bamber. That was it. I can
[Christopher:] Bambi.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... Bambi!
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] And erm... I went past Beamish yesterday Dave.
[Jane:] Did you? Oh we, we was going to go to that weren't we?
[Phillip:] Well, it's up there.
[Christopher:] Yes we, it's on the way back from holiday didn't we?
[Phillip:] Yep.
[Christopher:] We passed Newcastle.
[Jane:] And dropped in.
[Phillip:] Well that's right. That's where I was staying.
[Jane:] as well,tha we went there didn't we?
[Phillip:] Yes.
[Jane:] The thing that reminded of that is the erm... you know how in the Leader they do day trips to places and it's
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[Jane:] it's usually the isn't it? Not there.
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[Jane:] And the trek explorers, they went on a... a trip from York on the train. So they had
[Phillip:] They did?
[Jane:] been for the day and back again.... Do you remember going out to Beamish in, in, and in
[Phillip:] Do you remember trying to find somewhere to eat in Berwick?
[Jane:] and in winter half term. No I don't remember that at all. Er
[David:] Dad.
[Jane:] And there was a pub, yes and tha and but actually
[Phillip:] We ended in that pub down the street.
[Jane:] it was quite nice wasn't it?
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] We were quite doubtful but the food was good.
[David:] Dad.
[Jane:] It's
[Phillip:] Mhm?
[David:] I've been to a Beamish museum
[Jane:] It was sea
[David:] there's one of those motion's trucks.
[Jane:] and you go and stand at those castle round parts and we went for a walk and there was a football match going on wasn't there? It was a beautiful pitch.
[Phillip:] No, no, no, no.
[Jane:] And the walls were round it. And, and, it, it, it pitch.
[Phillip:] Oh yes, like when you drop down onto that bit. Yes.
[Jane:] And then we walked further and then we found this pub to eat. And it was... it was very nice.
[Phillip:] Where the Indian restaurant was shut with the windows broken on.
[Jane:] Oh that was it. Yes. And it, but we, I liked that pub. I mean, you had where you, it was a hotel, you had to watch where you can take the children into the... not that that's a place that we don't want to take you, there's places they don't want children.
[Christopher:] We had a knickerbocker glory.
[Phillip:] And places your mum doesn't want to take me either.
[Christopher:] Where we had a knickerbocker glo glory.
[Jane:] Mm! Yes.
[Phillip:] Pardon?
[Jane:] I had a knickerbocker glory. You can tell we were on holiday.
[Christopher:] Oh right. I'd have had that if I know what I'd had now, but cos I didn't know what it was.
[Jane:] Well you did. Didn't I share it with you? Didn't you have chocolate cake or something?
[Christopher:] Can I have some salad cream please?
[David:] Oh yes! There's someone at Skegness station.
[Phillip:] You mean mayonnaise or salad cream? Which do you want?
[Christopher:] Salad cream.
[Jane:] That's in the fridge.
[David:] Mum, there's someone at Skegness Station.
[Jane:] What??
[Christopher:] It's not the secret
[David:] Mum.
[Christopher:] bits, [whispering] Skegness, Skegness Station [].
[David:] In Skegness Station.
[Phillip:] There's a what Dave?
[David:] Well... you know at that little cafe that we went in and mummy and Chrissy had chocolate cake?
[Jane:] Mm. By the side.
[David:] Well,we
[Jane:] No, no we didn't.
[Phillip:] Mm.
[David:] it was very windy.
[Phillip:] In Skegness?
[Jane:] Yeah, he's passing messages.
[David:] But and,a at the station near Skegness called Skegness.
[Phillip:] The station near Skegness
[David:] Called Skegness.
[Phillip:] But it wasn't, it wasn't borough?
[David:] No! It was a railway station.
[Phillip:] Does it still have trains there?
[David:] Of course it does! It's a main line. It's a sa
[Jane:] Chris stand up please.
[Phillip:] You had your, who we who, who were you with?
[David:] All, all three of you.
[Jane:] You've obviously got to jog our memories a little further cos none of us can remember it.
[Phillip:] Not at Skegness? I've never taken you on Skegness Station. You've been on the miniature railway.
[Jane:] Any more potatoes?
[Phillip:] No.
[David:] No not the
[Jane:] Are you?
[Phillip:] No.
[Jane:] Davey? No, you're not doing very well. To go with that.
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Mhm.
[David:] Shall I tell you what one I mean?
[Jane:] Remind us. Where's the butter knife gone?
[David:] And, we went to the cafe, there's a cafe there.
[Jane:] Wa was I there as well?
[David:] Yes! Was the
[Jane:] Had I been running?
[David:] No.
[Jane:] So it wasn't a day Cleneth then cos I.
[Christopher:] Unless it was.
[Phillip:] Unless you go back to the
[David:] The first time it's only, you, dad, and me. But, the second time it was all four of us that went.
[Jane:] No I can't think of anywhere we would go when we haven't got Chrissy with us.
[Christopher:] No I couldn't.
[Jane:] Were you, in
[Christopher:] Was I at the?
[David:] No,yo you were at the juniors.
[Jane:] Oh I know! In Barton.
[David:] Barton! That, yes that's it.
[Christopher:] Well I haven't been to Barton
[Phillip:] Barton?
[David:] Yes.
[Jane:] We had a meal a you were at school and then we went to get
[David:] It
[Jane:] took Chris.
[David:] it was really windy.
[Jane:] Yes I remember. It was on
[Phillip:] Barton?
[Jane:] Barrow. Oh that was it. Oh Phil! You know.
[Phillip:] No.
[Jane:] Not Barton... it's not Barton, it begins with B. He used to go
[Christopher:] Station.
[Jane:] at the station, he used to, we went in
[Phillip:] Oh! Barnetby.
[Jane:] Barnetby. That's it. I knew I began with B. Yes, he's right.
[David:] Oh yeah.
[Jane:] And it was very windy. And it was a station. Mm. He got there in the end. You were right. The first time we went without Chrissy, and the second time we did.
[David:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] Well I think I can remember something like that then.
[David:] Mm.
[Jane:] Mm.
[Phillip:] It wasn't a cafe Dave it was the Station Hotel.
[Jane:] We liked it the first time, it was a bit like
[David:] No, it wasn't a hotel dad.
[Phillip:] Well it was a, it was a pub then.
[David:] It was a, er dad... it's a restaurant.
[Jane:] It's an outdoor coach isn't
[David:] Yo
[Jane:] it? Then Sally used to take me there John and David.
[Christopher:] Like that one we went to in
[Phillip:] I know.
[Christopher:] York.
[Phillip:] Now that was the sidings that.
[Jane:] And they used to and take me there.
[David:] Yeah but it isn't the sidings!
[Christopher:] It is, it's like the sidings.
[Phillip:] Happy days, eh?
[David:] It is, it i it isn't, it isn't near Shipton.
[Phillip:] Oh! A tomato
[Christopher:] Didn't say it was. Is it like the sidings built up like a coach?
[David:] No.
[Jane:] We need some more tomato, that's another to buy.
[Phillip:] Anybody want some more... pepper?
[Jane:] You have these
[David:] It's a proper, it's a proper building like this one.
[Phillip:] Yeah, I understand what you mean David.
[Christopher:] Yeah, is the inside buil built like a coach?
[Phillip:] Which one are you talking about now?
[Christopher:] Farnby.
[Phillip:] Er
[David:] Yeah, you said there was.
[Phillip:] well there are some seats that are built... set out at different divots.
[Jane:] We didn't bring you our darling i you can still see those.
[Phillip:] Anybody want more of this?
[David:] Yes. Mum. Mum.
[Jane:] Mm mm?
[David:] We're near the counter. And then all these train things.
[Jane:] That's right. Yeah. You were only little so you toddled over to have a look.
[David:] British Railway that.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[Christopher:] Was he at school?
[Jane:] Ah no. And you weren't even. He was... yo you still hadn't started
[David:] No.
[Jane:] yet.
[David:] He was at the junio he was at juniors and I was playschool.
[Christopher:] Well, I must have been in first year juniors.
[Jane:] Well I went there. And then, we took you when you were on holiday.
[Christopher:] Yes.
[David:] Yeah. It was my
[Jane:] You didn't have any more that's what you did, he had to go back there with you.
[David:] It, it was one of those chips and ju they just asked me a minute.
[Jane:] Yes, yes they always miss you [LAUGHTER] when you're not available [].
[David:] [humming]
[Phillip:] Mm. You realize they'd have been kicking out second helpings.
[Jane:] Erm... I must get in touch with Wendy because we vaguely talked about running on Monday night.
[Phillip:] Mm. Can't do everything on Monday.
[Jane:] Oh gosh! Yes. Oh unless I run at at five o'clock like we us then you're not in are you? Oh dear. Erm
[Phillip:] Well it's gonna be a bit pushed. Getting him
[Jane:] Ye yeah.
[Phillip:] put him in his Cubs
[Jane:] Yes, you're right. We can we can't be going at half past five.
[Phillip:] Go tomorrow.
[Jane:] It's just if we are going to get set up for... it's a lot of money though. There's no reason why I can't get up to six miles again by
[Christopher:] Well I can run three miles.
[Jane:] This one doesn't want to do anything too. And er Wendy's going to get the forms but sh if she can get them cos it's very hard.
[Phillip:] Got them.
[Jane:] Well I could on Tuesday to get to the normal run.
[Phillip:] Mm mm. Off you go.
[Jane:] It is more convenient if Wendy comes here.... After you.
[Phillip:] I don't think there's gonna be that much left.
[Jane:] Well I can boil the... the kettle again.... Mm. You're right. There isn't.
[Phillip:] I think I'll put the mower away afterwards.
[Jane:] Well I was just thinking, yes, the weather's... got much colder hasn't it?
[Phillip:] There's no, there's no point in doing
[Jane:] The sun's gone.
[Christopher:] again.
[Jane:] No well
[Phillip:] Mhm.
[Jane:] it's underneath. Can you, could you pass the milk please?
[Phillip:] We'll go
[Jane:] Right.
[Phillip:] down to, let's go down to work and update the... the weather Chris.
[Christopher:] On which computer?
[Phillip:] The one that's got the... the fixed one, not the... portable.
[Christopher:] Oh.
[David:] And I guess you could go and play Cats.
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Christopher:] [clears throat]... But we haven't got the thingie though.
[Jane:] Chris you won't be going out. There's one over there.
[Christopher:] Oh yes. I see.
[Phillip:] Er
[Jane:] Put yo put your plate in the sink there's a.
[Phillip:] But time's flying Chris and you still haven't done the first violin, never mind second.
[Jane:] Don't!
[David:] I know, so
[Christopher:] [yawn]
[David:] so you want to play Cats do you?
[Christopher:] Have we still got the disks?
[Phillip:] Well I don't know. Julie's got the portable... so... whether or not
[Christopher:] Let's have a look.
[Phillip:] but it's, I, I don't want to go down to work for hours Chris. I only wanted to
[Christopher:] Just for a few minutes.
[David:] Ah ah!
[Phillip:] Yes, I know you once you get games on machines.
[David:] Stop it my Lord!
[Jane:] Want some more tea?
[Christopher:] No thanks.
[Phillip:] Erm, I'll have something please. Tea, mineral water or
[David:] Can I have some milk please mama?
[Jane:] Yes. Just a moment. [LAUGHTER]... You'll have to watch the tapes. Can I go to... did you say you wanted some milk?
[David:] Yes mum.... Is this damn well coming... please?
[Jane:] I think we can find some more milk.
[Phillip:] Mm mm. Yes.
[Jane:] We're gonna need some more milk before tomorrow now.
[David:] Dad, shall I tell you a joke?
[Phillip:] You can tell me a joke David?
[Jane:] Darling. Gonna need some more milk before
[David:] Er
[Jane:] tomorrow.
[David:] what do you call... what do you get when you shake a cow?
[Phillip:] I beg your pardon? What do you get when you
[David:] Shake a cow.
[Phillip:] Er er... go on
[Jane:] Chee cheese.
[David:] [LAUGHTER] Milk shake [].
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] Oh right, yes [].
[Phillip:] Oh dear. And where did you get that one from?
[Christopher:] The disks are up there dad. They're up there.
[Phillip:] [LAUGHTER]... That's awful.
[Christopher:] Can I have some please?
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] Ah yes. You'll have to have it strong though. Another spring onion, I should think it'll go well after your jam doughnut.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... Spring, I've had no onions like spring.
[Phillip:] [clears throat]
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Yes love.
[David:] Do you know what?
[Phillip:] What?
[David:] You know what?
[Jane:] Oh he's not back on that one again.
[Christopher:] Mm. Can't watch that. Good grief!
[David:] [reading mayonnaise label] Thick and creamy smooth. The light taste of Hellmans real mayonnaise. It's the perfect complete to all types of food. Ideal on salads and cold meat. Ex
[Jane:] it now.
[David:] exotically different topping for fish fingers, baked potatoes, burgers and chips [].
[Phillip:] Yes well you said something, you said complete, I'm sure that must be complement.
[Jane:] Complement.
[Phillip:] Complement... to all
[Jane:] Ah.
[Phillip:] types of food.
[Jane:] You like weak tea [LAUGHTER] don't you Chris []? Oh! That's a bit awful. I'm gonna have to put something in that.
[Phillip:] I thought you'd been putting something in my tea for years.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[Christopher:] Who?
[David:] Tea.
[Phillip:] Mm?
[Christopher:] Is there any cakes of sort? Wi Christmas cake, or chocolate cake, or birthday cake?
[Jane:] No, not, I'm sorry. I haven't been getting
[Phillip:] Mince pies.
[Jane:] There's mince pies, yeah.
[David:] Mother Day cake.
[Christopher:] You don't have a Mother's Day cake.
[Jane:] There's mince pies and that's it I'm afraid. Oh there's some
[Christopher:] Can I have... a jam sandwich then please?
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Yes sunshine.
[Jane:] Mm mm. Yes if you want to do it yourself
[David:] Do you want to hear another joke?
[Jane:] you may.
[Phillip:] Well if it's one of your jokes I'll, I'll listen but
[David:] When, when do tomatoes go red?
[Christopher:] When they see the salad dressing?
[David:] Yes.
[Jane:] Erm, can you finish your... lunch and then you can have a Scotch pancake.
[David:] Mm mm.
[Christopher:] Can I have a Scotch pancake now please?
[Jane:] Yes you can have it cos I'm not going to get round to eating so, there's
[Christopher:] What?
[Jane:] there's only one left.
[Christopher:] What the pancakes?
[David:] Well,. [whistling]... [singing] Da da da da la da, da da [].
[Christopher:] If anyone puts the kettle o that kettle on to boil
[Jane:] Right stick that in there please.
[Christopher:] There's something not... burning
[Jane:] Well that just makes an awful noise. Like what?
[David:] [singing] []
[Phillip:] Sorry do you want me to cu do you want me cut that Chris?
[Christopher:] Yes please.
[David:] Dad... it's for me.
[Phillip:] No, Chrissy's having it.
[Jane:] Chrissy's having it.
[Phillip:] Yeah cos you haven't finished.
[Jane:] You're gonna fall... can you put the top on the salad cream please? I have a good
[David:] Dad!
[Christopher:] Can you put these on my fingers please?
[Phillip:] That's me.
[Jane:] No you can't.
[Christopher:] You said I can.
[Jane:] No! Can you switch the toaster off, put the pancake in or I'll have a burnt pancake.
[Phillip:] We've just put it on.
[Jane:] Thanks. Can you put that away as well Chris while you're there.
[Christopher:] Mhm.
[David:] [humming]
[Christopher:] Anything else you'd like me to put away?
[Jane:] No, nothing else.
[Phillip:] No, but I'd like you to get your violin out.
[Christopher:] I'm gonna....
[Phillip:] Where's your plate?
[Christopher:] Here.
[Phillip:] Ah ha! They're hot.
[Jane:] What? [LAUGHTER] They've shrunk [].
[Phillip:] Ah. Oh! Ah!
[Jane:] I'll leave it on.
[David:] [humming]
[Phillip:] I'm not sure whether
[Christopher:] It's a bit big.
[Jane:] You've got a knife. That's enough now David. In fact it's too much of it, I'll try and get.
[David:] [humming]
[Phillip:] Mm. Yeah.
[Jane:] Mm. Mince pies. Are you going to read the quiz thing again? Can we get sor sorted otherwise it's all I'll ever talk about.
[Phillip:] Well all I can say is, you'll probably get yourself there... see if I can come along.
[Jane:] Well let's start from the fact, do you want to go anyway?... Or aren't you bothered?
[Phillip:] Well... aren't we?
[Jane:] [sigh]... Make a decision.
[Phillip:] Oh
[Jane:] I mean we need to
[Phillip:] well, you can make it for me.
[Jane:] No, I, I... [sigh]... [LAUGHTER]... It's brightening up again. Yeah.
[Phillip:] [sigh]
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... Well, drink a little darling, then I'll top it up for you.... Well Dave you eat the skin
[Phillip:] Where did you get the impression that it started at seven?
[Jane:] I don't
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] know. I'm sorry, it's probably me I'm,ma maybe it doesn't take that long.
[Christopher:] What time does it start then?
[Phillip:] Seven thirty.
[Jane:] Mm.
[Christopher:] Aha!
[Phillip:] But we have a week to collect the kids from Cubs wouldn't it?
[Christopher:] I'm not going to Cubs. I'm making that tea.
[Jane:] Well, that's right what I meant then.
[Phillip:] Oh yes I
[Jane:] It was half past ten weren't it Christopher? So a sitter?
[Phillip:] Well ideally. If you don't, we'll both stay in.
[Jane:] And do we, do we find some partners or do we do it just the two of us? We'll do as well with the two of us don't you think?
[Phillip:] Oh... I should think so.
[David:] Erm
[Jane:] Oh that, a load of those came in the colouring bag on... Friday, so I just brought them home.
[Phillip:] Well on previous experience er, that's not worth going to.
[Jane:] Well I sa I'll put it on the pile, pile. I just thought while I'm doing
[Phillip:] Who bought this?
[Jane:] Well, I ha I just bought two more.
[Phillip:] Okay.
[Jane:] David, will you finish please.
[David:] I want to tell dad, that I have finished.
[Jane:] Well tell, tell dad then.
[David:] Can you write me... a story which has words that I can manage.
[Phillip:] I can write you a story sunshine, but will you finish your mouthful?
[Jane:] Do you want some more tea Phil? It, [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] it's still a bit naff [].
[Phillip:] Not if it's like it looked before.
[Jane:] Oh co I've put another bag in now.
[David:] Tell you what dad, I'll read a book.
[Phillip:] Erm, you can read a book. Chris. Go and get the noise machine going. Come on. Let's get
[Christopher:] I want a jam sandwich. I want
[Phillip:] [sighing] Oh []!
[Jane:] Well make it, I did say will you make it yourself honey!
[Christopher:] Oh.
[Jane:] You're a big boy now.
[Phillip:] No a jam sandwich.
[Jane:] There, is that alright for you?
[Phillip:] Okay I'll get some
[Jane:] Well don't you think he can do it himself?
[Phillip:] Oh well... Go on then David, if you must.
[David:] No.
[Phillip:] Oh.
[Christopher:] I won't have a jam sandwich.
[Phillip:] Oh. What you gonna have?
[Christopher:] Nothing.
[Jane:] What's put you off?
[Christopher:] Nothing.
[Jane:] I know you. What's gone wrong now?
[Christopher:] Nothing.
[Jane:] If it's because I'm not making one you can make it yourself then. Right.
[David:] The light's off. Look at the.
[Phillip:] Mm.
[David:] Oh well! Let's get out a computer disk. Or... or have it all ready
[Christopher:] [sighing] Oh oh []. Missed.
[Jane:] You know when they said they were going scuba diving at eight o'clock and did we want to go?
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] I thought they meant eight o'clock in the morning, but they meant in the
[Phillip:] No it's eight o'clock tonight.
[Jane:] tonight. I can't say I'm bothered. Do you want to go?
[Christopher:] I'd like to go scuba diving.
[Jane:] Well I suppose... ah no, will there be children at eight o'clock?
[Phillip:] No.
[Jane:] You do arrange some sort of fancy activities.
[Christopher:] Who? Who is this, Neil?
[Phillip:] Ian and Morna's lot. It's only in the swimming pool Chris. It's nothing erm
[Jane:] Yes I hardly imagined they were going diving off Scarborough or Bridlington and I thought, [LAUGHTER] oh no []! That's why I presume it was eight o'clock in the morning you see.
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] But it wasn't though.
[David:] Can I
[Christopher:] Can we
[David:] go?
[Christopher:] go?
[Phillip:] No!
[David:] Mm!
[Christopher:] You said we could do.
[Phillip:] I didn't say you could go.
[Christopher:] Yeah, you said
[David:] You did.
[Christopher:] sh could we... could we go? I'd like to go. Yes we could go.
[Jane:] I was talking to daddy. Should we go? Daddy and I. But we're not.
[Christopher:] Hmm!
[Jane:] I shall have an early night tonight.
[Phillip:] Chris it isn't a kid's event.
[Christopher:] Well... are there.
[Jane:] They're not.
[Phillip:] They're not. Ian and Morna
[Jane:] They won't be, Ian and
[Phillip:] aren't going.
[Jane:] They're going somewhere else. Where are they going?
[Phillip:] I don't know. They didn't say.
[Christopher:] Geoffrey said they're all going scuba diving.
[Phillip:] No. We
[Jane:] No.
[Phillip:] said it was their... lot, their friends that were doing it Chris, we didn't say they were going.
[Christopher:] Oh.
[Phillip:] I don't think. Anyway
[Jane:] No they're not, they're going somewhere else.
[Phillip:] a I know, I know they're not I'm
[Christopher:] Can we go swimming today?
[Phillip:] No Chris.
[Jane:] As soon as David's cold's better then we're going. That's all we're waiting for now.
[David:] Well are you going to a swimming pool with a cold?
[Christopher:] [talking from other room]....
[Phillip:] You get on with the noise machine please. I'll go put the mower away.
[Jane:] If you're alright next Saturday afternoon Chrissy you can go roller skating at the sports hall. Would you like that? Unless we're well enough to, unless Dave's well enough to go swimming, in that case we'll swim.
[Christopher:] [talking from other room]
[David:] I don't want to go swimming tomorrow.
[Jane:] Jus just finish your lunch please.... [sigh]... Is this it? There's your tea here Phil.
[Phillip:] Oh. Sorry. [sigh]
[Jane:] Alright I'll let you off Phil. That's it as far as you're concerned with it. You can get down and wash your hands.... Can you...
[Phillip:] Just give me a list and I'll go and get anything.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Yes.
[David:] Keep that Walkman busy.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[Christopher:] Mum.
[Jane:] Yes.
[Christopher:] [talking from other room]
[Jane:] Why's that?
[Christopher:] Er,
[Jane:] Mm. Well yes we know that, but we haven't got one. We only bought it at car boot sale and... there were bits missing. I did try and find the, the microphone that went with... daddy's old tape recorder, the one that David broke... to see if that would fit on.
[Christopher:] [talking from other room]
[Jane:] Yes. But I couldn't find that. What?
[Christopher:] Dad's got one in his car.
[Jane:] Well, oh yes, but that's, that's for his phone so that he doesn't need a... he doesn't need hands... so he can hold the steering wheel when he answers the phone.
[Christopher:] Can we try it, when... for five minutes?
[Jane:] [sigh]... Well... I think you should be trying your violin for the moment.
[David:] [reading book] Donus Engines. A special train one day []... Mum, I can't
[Jane:] Yes?
[David:] I can't read it.
[Jane:] That's okay. Keep going. You're doing alright. You read and I'll
[David:] [reading] A special train arrive one day and the Fat Controller welcomed the passengers. They locked everything in the yard and photographed the engines. Duck next minute I'm riding in his cab. That Railway So Society, he was trying to explain, they've come to see us. The engines said to Truro, he was first to go a hundred miles an hour. Let's get finished then we can go and talk to him. Oh! Said. He's too famous to notice me. Rubbish! Smiled. Come on! Duck found Truro at the coaling stage. May I talk to you? He asked shyly. Of course, smiled the famous engine. I see you are one of us. I try to teach them our way said Duck []. up the clay pits dad.
[Phillip:] What clay pits?
[David:] You know. Tell me about the clay pits... please dad.
[Phillip:] Clay pits?
[Jane:] Clay pits?
[Phillip:] Wha what clay pits are you thinking of?
[David:] Any sort of clay pits. Most er, mostly Bill and Ben's.
[Phillip:] Bill
[Jane:] Oh.
[Phillip:] and Ben?
[Jane:] In Thomas the Tank Engine.
[Phillip:] Clay pits. Well usually clay clay used to be used for bread making. Still is to a certain extent. So lots of places like
[Christopher:] What's clay?
[Phillip:] Barton-on-Humber, Burton Stava... Broomfleet all had clay pits where they used to dig out... the clay... and cut it up and make it into bricks. Is that what you meant?
[David:] Yes. And paints. Hey look at that lamb!
[Jane:] Oh yes. Look, it's finishing off the rest of honeysuckle, can you see?
[Phillip:] Here are Chris, look.
[Jane:] Look Chris.
[Phillip:] Can you see a lamb climbing up a wire fence? Oh! It's gone down now.
[Jane:] Actually erm... granddad's honeysuckle ha has just taken but of course if the lambs are going to come and chew it
[Phillip:] Chrissy! Back to the table please.
[Christopher:] I was going to tell you who was, who was in front.
[David:] So, and dad... it's also used for paint, paper, pottery
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[David:] and lots of other things.
[Phillip:] Ah, but what you're thinking there is china clay.
[David:] Yes, and that
[Phillip:] Well
[David:] that's what I was talking about
[Phillip:] Ah well
[David:] china clay.
[Phillip:] china clay is called kaolin and i and it's a very fine clay when it's dry. And, and, yes they ma use it to make paper and, as you say, to put a thickener in paints and things like that.
[David:] And po and pain and, and paper as well.
[Jane:] And used as a medicine as well.
[Phillip:] Mhm.
[David:] And used as a medicine?
[Jane:] Not, not that we do, I know but
[Phillip:] Particularly with morphine.
[David:] And medicines.
[Jane:] Mhm. Erm... what time does the
[Phillip:] [sigh]
[Jane:] place go on until?
[Phillip:] I don't know. About
[Jane:] I mean
[Phillip:] seven I should think.
[David:] Ah ah!
[Jane:] Will I, so you'll get to see the end?
[Christopher:] Mm mm.
[Phillip:] Ah it's not important.
[Jane:] Well it is. Mm mm.
[David:] Well, he doesn't have to.
[Phillip:] Pardon?
[David:] Well at least you don't have to. Dad ask me a joke. [humming]
[Phillip:] First joke, can you please blow your nose? Come on.
[David:] Don't you want?
[Phillip:] Come on! You're so blocked up.
[David:] But this joke
[Phillip:] Mhm? You're gonna tell me one are you?
[Christopher:] What do you call
[David:] Yeah you said
[Christopher:] a... what do you call a boy who doesn't eat his dinner?
[Jane:] I don't know.
[Phillip:] David.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[David:] No!
[Jane:] Mm.
[David:] Not those sort of jokes. Any sort of jokes. But... but they have to be jokes. Right dad
[Phillip:] Yes.
[David:] first joke.
[Phillip:] I don't know any jokes.
[David:] You do! Me... Mary had a mi metal cow she milked it with a spout, she too
[Jane:] Does he... knows all the words, d'ya know?
[Phillip:] No, not all of them. Mary had a metal cow she bought it for a tanner and every morning just at six she milked it with a
[Christopher:] Spanner.
[Phillip:] Mm mm. And then there's the rude one.
[Jane:] Mm. I don't really want to hear that.
[Phillip:] Mary had a little lamb, she also had a bear
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER] Oh I know that one [].... Every, everyone, everyone has seen the little lamb but never seen her bear.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] []
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] I
[David:] I er
[Phillip:] But I haven't told you that one David.
[Christopher:] That's that... I, I, you know that one with the metal
[Phillip:] You know, I can feel
[Christopher:] I can do is, Mary had a metal cow she milked it with a spanner, she took it to the market and sold it for a tanner.
[Phillip:] Oh well, there you are. It's, it's the same difference isn't it?
[Christopher:] Mm mm.
[David:] Do you know any more?
[Jane:] Nope.
[Phillip:] No. [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] Do you?
[David:] Er er
[Jane:] The flowers are nice.
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[Jane:] You didn't even notice.
[David:] What did the car
[Phillip:] I was just working out what there was in it.
[David:] What did the car say to a train? I can go anywhere but you can't... go... training. [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] Why can't a locomotive sit down?
[David:] Don't know.
[Phillip:] Because it's got a tender behind.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... Why?
[Phillip:] Chrissy'll understand that one.
[Jane:] Mm.
[Christopher:] Like a sore bottom.
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] It's alright. David'll learn when he's older.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... Do you know any more dad?
[Phillip:] I thought you were gonna tell me some.
[David:] No do you a do you, do you know any more about trains?
[Jane:] Do you want some vegetables Chris?
[Christopher:] No thanks.
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Chris! Not so vigorous on the scraping please.
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Mhm?
[David:] Be nice to have a joke from you.
[Phillip:] A joke from me?
[Jane:] Oh God!
[Phillip:] I've told you the ones I know.
[David:] You know more than three.... Come on dad.
[Jane:] The other lamb's getting tangled up in the other parts of that Russian vine's gone over.
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[Jane:] I wish they would move that because there's nothing I can do now it's gone over the fence.
[Phillip:] It's dropped it down, I didn't think there was much left.
[Jane:] Mm mm. It's all, it's all dry and stuff.... The trouble is that... some of it's still attached and so it's going start erm bu butting again, growing. I don't want that.
[Phillip:] So when it does I'll know which ones it is and I'll sever it.
[Christopher:] Right.
[Phillip:] Mhm.
[David:] Dad. Tell us another joke!
[Phillip:] Tt!
[Christopher:] I didn't think of that.
[Phillip:] I can't David.
[David:] You know more than three dad!
[Jane:] Knock, knock.
[David:] Who's there?
[Jane:] Doctor.
[David:] Doctor Who?
[Jane:] Hmm hmm.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... Knock, knock.
[Jane:] Who's there?
[David:] Doctor
[Jane:] Ah! We've just done that one!
[David:] No! Please!
[Jane:] Alright. Doctor who?
[David:] You just said it!... Knock, knock.
[Jane:] Who's there?
[David:] The Avon lady, your bell's broken!
[Phillip:] The Avo Avon lady?
[David:] Mm mm.
[Phillip:] What does she do?
[Christopher:] Can I get down?
[Jane:] [cough]... No. Sorry.
[Phillip:] Ooh Chrissy! What a noise! Pardon?
[Christopher:] Please may I get down?
[David:] I don't know.
[Jane:] Don't you want any more?
[Christopher:] No thanks. You want to go and see that don't you?
[David:] Dad, I don't know what an Avon lady does.
[Phillip:] What does she do?
[David:] I don't know.
[Phillip:] Mm mm! Oh! Well she doesn't come here.
[David:] She fixes bells.
[Phillip:] [LAUGHTER] No [].
[David:] Well what does she do?
[Jane:] Guess can't you?
[Christopher:] [talking from other room] She rings the bell, she rings. And she
[Jane:] She co
[Phillip:] Okay. Thanks Chris.
[Jane:] She's somebody who comes to the door and tries to sell you some make-up and perfume and toys and things.
[Phillip:] Cosmetics and things David.
[David:] Toys! Er... see la like er Sega Master System two and one. This er, and Sega Mast
[Jane:] No, sort of toys connected like bubble bath and that sort of thing.
[David:] Toys? They're not toys, they're bubbles.
[Phillip:] Well they're amusements aren't they?
[David:] I don't think they're very amusing.
[Phillip:] Well do you, you love bubble bath.
[David:] Oh yes. Can I have some in tonight?
[Phillip:] That wasn't quite what I meant.
[Jane:] Yes he can, there's loads to use up.
[David:] Yes. There's Chrissy's turtles. Teenage Mutant Ninja.... I hate, I hate those
[Jane:] You can have some more chicken Phil, Chrissy's finished.
[Phillip:] No it's alright. Give it David. Do you want some more chicken Dave?
[David:] Er, no thanks. I don't.
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[Jane:] There's loads more gravy.
[David:] Hey dad! Shall I tell you who put up those two poles.
[Phillip:] I can guess.
[David:] I'll tell you.
[Phillip:] Mhm?
[David:] Lenny Henry.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] Who's Lenny Henry?
[David:] He's the one who presents silly T V shows.
[Phillip:] Oh!
[David:] And he's the one like Frank Bruno.
[Phillip:] He's not as big as Frank Bruno.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... Lenny Henry
[Jane:] Apparently in those new tapes, the Chronicles of Narnia that Gwyneth gave Chris but it's
[Phillip:] Mhm.
[Jane:] erm... there's some details about Lenny Henry and tapes in that. That's where he's got it from.
[David:] Yes and Victoria Wood.
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[Jane:] Well I wouldn't mind the Victoria Wood one.
[David:] And Fawlty Towers.... Fawlty Towers blue.
[Jane:] But we've recorded that Victoria Wood off... er the our... the television.
[Phillip:] Do you like Fawlty Towers David?
[David:] Oh yes! I keep getting out the video and watching it.
[Phillip:] Mm hmm.
[Christopher:] [singing] Oh, ah ah ah [].
[Phillip:] Come on eat up sunshine. If you're wanting to go out. But I don't think you'll get much time.
[Jane:] I don't think, well there's really time to go out again. Where is David's?
[Phillip:] I don't know.
[David:] You said you would, that I'll be having a bath and then we can do that
[Jane:] Mm.
[David:] that old stereo.... Oh mum!
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[David:] What you talking about?
[Phillip:] We're not.
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Mm mm?
[David:] What do you call a bear, a... a teddy with no hair?
[Phillip:] Bald.
[David:] I meant, I meant fur.
[Christopher:] Fur?
[Phillip:] Furless teddy.
[Christopher:] When Mansell's lapped, he then has to lap Patrese. He's behind Schumacker.
[Phillip:] Oh! Mm mm!
[David:] You know dad. He, I, it's a bare. [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] Can you get on with your dinner, you've hardly eaten anything.
[David:] I've eaten half the chicken.
[Jane:] Well eat some carrots.
[Phillip:] Very nice.
[Christopher:] [humming]
[Phillip:] Dave, you're making some horrible noises eating.
[Christopher:] [humming]
[Phillip:] I know you've got a blocked nose, but really!
[Jane:] Do you want some more?
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] Plenty of grav there's more chicken.
[Phillip:] Well I, I... well, I've had two lots thanks Jane, yeah. Could just about make a... a soup for tomorrow.
[Jane:] Are you in for lunch tomorrow?
[Phillip:] Yes, but I've gotta meet Marty at one thirty. So I'm told.
[David:] Dad, shall I tell you a joke? Knock, knock.
[Phillip:] Who's there?
[David:] I don't know, I haven't answered the door yet.
[Phillip:] Oh dear me.
[David:] Whe will you remember me tomorrow?
[Phillip:] I have, no that was a longer one isn't it?
[David:] Please dad. Will you reme
[Phillip:] Yes.
[David:] Er... will you remember me next month?
[Phillip:] Yes.
[David:] Ne mo I meant next week.
[Phillip:] Yes.
[David:] When I, will you remember me next month?
[Phillip:] No.
[David:] Will you remember me next year?
[Phillip:] No.
[David:] No you're supposed to answer them all yes.
[Jane:] Mm.
[Phillip:] Oh. Yes, yes then.
[David:] Now I'll have to start again.
[Phillip:] [LAUGHTER] No, oh no David please []! Just, just accept that I said
[David:] What?
[Phillip:] yes.
[David:] Ma knock, knock then.
[Phillip:] Who's there?
[David:] Don't tell me you've forgotten me already!
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] Mm mm. I knew what you were getting at.
[David:] Knock, knock.
[Jane:] Who's there?
[David:] Alfie.
[Phillip:] Alfie who?
[David:] Alfie who goes round the town squealing through key locks.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] What key locks []?
[David:] Oh.
[Phillip:] Key locks?
[Jane:] What's a key lock?
[David:] Key holes.... Key holes!
[Jane:] Mhm.
[David:] Knock, knock.
[Phillip:] Oh!
[Jane:] Mm.
[Phillip:] Dave. Less knock knocks, and more eat, eats!
[David:] Oh dad! [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] The garden's looking better isn't it? All that work.
[David:] I better knock knock
[Phillip:] Yes, till next week.
[Jane:] Ah no! I mean the grass... was so long. It's much better now.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Looks much
[David:] This is wi
[Jane:] better. Sorry.
[David:] This is a joke for you. Knock, knock.
[Phillip:] Who's there?
[David:] Ah... sheep.
[Phillip:] Well sheep who?
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... Well sheep who keeps go who keeps going round supermarkets saying shampoo. [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] Oh! That's some obscure jokes.
[Phillip:] So obscure... you'll have to explain that one to me.
[David:] Well... mum had some pictures
[Phillip:] Not with your mouth full sunshine. When you've emptied your mouth.
[Jane:] It looks better for going around most of the edges and going over the grass.
[Phillip:] The back bed looks particularly good. The one
[Jane:] It does.
[Phillip:] by the
[Jane:] Yes. Well I mean it was a lot it was a lot of edging to do. I mean it was just the back though.
[Phillip:] Now if you'll excuse me a moment. I'll just watch the last few laps.
[Jane:] How many laps are there to go?
[Christopher:] That. Look.
[David:] Dad!
[Phillip:] Yes love.
[David:] Come here.
[Phillip:] No I'm, just got sitting down again.
[Jane:] Yo go on you can tell me this joke and then you can finish.
[David:] But it isn't a joke.
[Jane:] Alright. Well tell me whatever it is.
[David:] No it's er, mum, shall I finish this?
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[David:] All my carrots I'm eating.
[Jane:] I would rather you ate your vegetables, yes, rather than the chicken please.
[David:] But mum... I
[Jane:] Yes?
[David:] I won't go hungry.
[Jane:] Well I hope you won't. It's down, down to those two cos of the Grand Prix on. Those two do like watching it don't they?
[Phillip:] If you can't, you can't so easily if you haven't got a better car.
[David:] The Grand Prix. Hey yo! Camera. Get your show biz shocks of the... they caught me when I was standing on my head.... Well they've switched the wa water in for a motor.
[Jane:] Come on, eat it sunshine.
[David:] You do. That rhymes. [humming]
[Jane:] Come on, eat up and then we can go and watch the end of the Grand Prix as well, can't we?
[David:] I thought it was the... Cup Final.
[Jane:] No, that was this afternoon.
[David:] Oh!... Mum.
[Jane:] Mhm?
[David:] I don't want these carrots. A after I've eaten this carrot can I give up?
[Jane:] Well, eat the carrot. And do you think you can manage some broccoli and some of those peppers please?
[David:] I can't.
[Jane:] You really can't?
[David:] Well drink your orange juice then. And eat the carrot?
[Jane:] Eat your carrot as well, yes. Eat your carrot and drink your orange juice. Please. I've just squeezed that for you. You need all the vitamins you can get with your cold.... And you can't manage that broccoli as well? Alright.... I don't mind you leaving your chicken, but I'd rather you ate your vegetables please.... As much as you can.... You can live without meat but you wouldn't do very well without vegetables. Sit down please. Don't get up from the table before that. Sit down and finish it.... Could you pass your plate please?... Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you splodger.... Mm.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Mhm?
[David:] Funny, cos we've never had cows in there.
[Jane:] We have. There have been cows in the field. I think it was before you were born. And it wasn't for long, I must admit, that we had cows in that field but... I think
[David:] Mum we
[Jane:] the sheep are best.
[David:] mum, we had horses in the winter once when I was a baby.
[Jane:] There were horses in the field when we came. And that was years ago.
[David:] When I was a baby.
[Jane:] That was nine years ago. No you weren't a baby. We had horses again... well maybe when you were a baby.
[David:] Yes er, I was, I, I saw a picture
[Jane:] Yes. Yes we yes that's right.
[David:] with dad holding me and the
[Jane:] Cos you
[David:] horse's head over our shoulders.
[Jane:] are you sure it wasn't Chris as a baby?
[David:] I'm su... it was either me or Chris.
[Jane:] I'd rather there were sheep in the field than pigs. Didn't like having pigs. Geese were alright weren't they? Except it wasn't very nice watching them disappear just before Christmas.
[David:] Well at least they gave... some to some old concentration
[Jane:] We don't eat... lamb any more do we? After things that we've [LAUGHTER] seen in that field [].
[David:] Pardon mum?
[Jane:] We've given up eating lamb... lamb since there's been sheep in the field haven't we? We haven't had lamb for years now.
[David:] We haven't.
[Jane:] No. We only eat chicken.
[David:] I no, we, we had it in the... I think, Indian, Italian.
[Jane:] No, we don't.
[David:] Indian... takeaway.
[Jane:] Get chicken.
[David:] Ma.... Mum.
[Jane:] Mhm?
[David:] Mum, tell you what... mum, do you like, have you ever tried eating pork chops?
[Jane:] A long time ago, yes.
[David:] Do you like it?
[Jane:] I liked it at the time, yes.
[David:] Well mum
[Jane:] Haven't eaten pork chops for a long time.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Yes?
[David:] Now there's sheep in the field... while, while there's sheep in the field, we won't eat lamb.
[Jane:] No. I don't think, I don't think I want to eat lamb ever again.
[David:] When there's pigs in the field... we won't eat pork chops.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Cos they'll grill crossly.
[Jane:] We only eat chicken now don't we?
[David:] And meat.
[Jane:] Come on. You finish your orange juice and we'll go and watch the rest of the race.... Come on poppy. Finish that mouthful of carrot.
[David:] When I've finished my orange juice can I get down?
[Jane:] Yes you can! Finish your carrot and finish your orange juice, then we'll go... we'll go in the sitting room and watch the rest of the race.
[David:] No.
[Jane:] See, see who wins.
[David:] Can I... orange juice, only my orange juice please?
[Jane:] Well you've got your carrot in your mouth, just finish eating it. Just swallow it. Drink your orange juice and then you'll swallow your carrot.... You're a hamster you are. You store food in your cheeks.
[David:] No, pouches.
[Jane:] Mm mm. Go on swallow.
[David:] It's awful cos... Minnie keeps taking... throwing her wrappers out, her food. Took it down to our bedroom and spitting it out!
[Jane:] Does she? That's
[David:] Mm.
[Jane:] Is it a gerbil or a hamster
[David:] A hamster.
[Jane:] that David's got? Well wipe
[David:] It's a hamster.
[Jane:] wipe your mouth and you can get down now. That's a good boy. Come on. Let's go and watch the rest of the race.
[David:] Hang on. Shall we bring the
[Phillip:] You alright darling?
[Jane:] Should look where he's going, he's just bumped his head.
[Phillip:] Oh you poor thing!
[Jane:] you jus he kept walking into the doors.
[Christopher:] He walks into the door of the. And he walks into the erm
[Jane:] Door of the classroom.
[Christopher:] the classroom door.... [watching the grand prix on tv]
[Jane:] Can I move your violin music Christopher?
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[David:] Well, all the
[Phillip:] Have you finished violin for today then?
[Christopher:] Yes.
[Jane:] Well, you've only had two practices.... I said he'll have to do a good one tomorrow.
[Phillip:] You've no chance have you?
[Jane:] Well, well I know it's Cubs tomorrow and if we're going out as well.
[Phillip:] It's Cubs and we're going out, so
[Jane:] Well I
[Phillip:] See that car stepping out Chris?
[Jane:] I am if we can get a sitter.
[Christopher:] Where?
[Phillip:] What... you've missed it now!
[David:] [humming]
[Christopher:] What did it do?
[Phillip:] It started to slide.... [tv commentary on the grand prix]
[David:] [humming]
[Phillip:] Have we been topping that up a little? Or have you just been very careful? Oh.
[Jane:] Anybody want any... well there's only strawberries.
[Phillip:] No you have those.
[Jane:] Do you want some strawberries Chris?
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] I'll share them with you?
[Christopher:] Yes please.
[David:] [humming]... [humming]
[Christopher:] Can I have some cream and erm
[Jane:] Yeah. Oh Christopher! Look at the back, he's covered in grass. Look Phil! Chris if you're gonna roll around on the lawn
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] after it's been cut the least you can do is give yourself a shake
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] before you come in. How many more laps?
[Christopher:] We're not fast as in this.
[David:] Shh shh shh shh shh shh shh.
[Phillip:] Not a large number.
[Jane:] I got nettled.
[Phillip:] I'm not surprised.
[Jane:] No, even with my gardening gloves on I got nettled when I was pulling... at... around that honeysu
[Phillip:] Well they're not very successful gardening gloves are they?
[Jane:] Well no! The nettles are very potent.
[Phillip:] Mm mm. See... two bolters, or whatever that is in
[Jane:] It's nearly seven o'clock!
[Phillip:] I know that! Cos I've got to take these kids up for a bath soon er er... you can stay
[Jane:] Well I
[Phillip:] down here if
[Jane:] I'll record May to December but I'd like to watch
[Phillip:] Why? You watch it now.
[Jane:] No. Cos then you won't see it. Why shou
[Phillip:] But I'm not bothered Jane.
[Jane:] Why should I be the only one that suffers?
[Phillip:] I'm not bothered about that.
[Jane:] I would rather wa yes, well you can suffer it all with me. Erm... I'd like to watch Lovejoy please.
[David:] [humming]
[Christopher:] I thought last week was the last one?
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] Last one of the, but they're showing one of the old ones and we, I haven't seen it, so
[Christopher:] Oh.
[David:] [singing] Doo doo doo... da da [].
[Jane:] There's nothing else on after that. We've got a clear evening after that.
[Phillip:] After that? It'll be bed time! It'll finish, what... half nine?
[Jane:] Well I dunno. I hope there's an extended News.
[Phillip:] There's bound to be.... Turbo goes Senna.
[Christopher:] would you like a couple of
[Phillip:] Pardon Chris?
[Christopher:] Who's
[Phillip:] Pa
[Christopher:] the... the one... the one ran out of the crash on this?
[Phillip:] Well it's happened, before now Chris.
[Christopher:] Mm mm.
[Phillip:] Silly things, like crashing, running out of petrol.
[Jane:] Running out of petrol just before.
[David:] [humming]
[Christopher:] Bit of a daft time to wait to, to.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] What did he say? Consummately easy win?
[Phillip:] He did indeed.... Oh that's a good picture they've got there isn't it?
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] That's really constructive. That... looking at a bald head, a stupid girl, and something else. Oh!
[Jane:] But why is she stupid?
[Christopher:] I bet they show other people all that.
[Phillip:] Getting her head in the way of the camera.
[Jane:] So what happened to Senna? I know he dropped out, but why?
[Phillip:] Don't know.
[Jane:] Oh.
[Phillip:] Ran out of steam after eighteen laps.
[Jane:] If we're going to do any more quizzes this is the sort of thing we're going to need to know to do well on the sports sections.
[Phillip:] Well I don't know. They don't do interesting sports.
[Jane:] They did the firs
[Phillip:] They do obscure ones like golf.
[Jane:] ah but the, the first ques the first question on the sports section was, what team does Nigel Mansell drive for?
[Phillip:] Oh. Did you get it right?
[Jane:] No, we could only come up with, I forgot, but it was something Renault, and we could only think of Renault.
[Christopher:] Williams,Will Williams.
[Jane:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] But Chris knows.
[David:] That's Renny.
[Jane:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] Here are, look, look, this groupie's getting into everything.
[Christopher:] Erm... Senna ma drives a MacClaren doesn't he?
[Phillip:] Yes. Yes he does.... He's got Brazilian on.
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER] Mm mm [].
[Phillip:] We'll go to the favourite bit in a minute Chris.
[Christopher:] What?
[Phillip:] Your mum loves it.
[Christopher:] What?
[Phillip:] Standing on the podium and they spray champagne over everybody.
[Jane:] Oh I hate that! That does annoy me!
[Phillip:] Breaks your mum's heart that, to see all that champagne thrown.
[Jane:] No it's not the waste of champagne, I feel sorry for everybody getting so sticky.
[Christopher:] Oh.
[David:] Ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh!
[Jane:] I know what it's like trying to get... alcohol out of your clothes.... No don't tell me to have my dress cleaned.
[Christopher:] Last time Senna had something like hundred and twenty... didn't he?
[Phillip:] Pardon? Sorry?
[Christopher:] Last time Senna had something like a hundred and twenty....
[Phillip:] Erm... yeah probably he did have. Looks like the sun was shining there Chris.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Phillip:] Oh she's out there again!
[Christopher:] Where?
[Phillip:] I wonder who was sponsoring the race?
[Jane:] Mm?... You can afford to be can't you?
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] Why's she so
[Phillip:] We well yes she's
[Jane:] why's she crying?
[Phillip:] she's obviously in it for the bet.
[Jane:] She must be the cameraman's dau
[Phillip:] Here it comes Chris. Mum's favourite.
[Jane:] she must be the cameraman's daughter.
[Phillip:] Three bottles.
[Christopher:] Not gonna show you mum.
[Jane:] Ah they'll show it on the news later on. Cos that'll be, that'll be the bit they show on the news.
[Phillip:] About Senna retiring.
[Jane:] Oh, you saw the first
[Phillip:] I want to see all the exciting bits I missed.
[Jane:] Well, won't they have highlights on later?
[Phillip:] This is the highlights.
[Jane:] You mean, they didn't show the full race?
[Phillip:] The full race was run at some obscure time today so
[Jane:] When I listened to the six o'clock news
[Phillip:] I was hoping you wouldn't come
[Jane:] on the radio
[Phillip:] running through and tell me
[Jane:] No, oh... do I ever? They said it was half way through
[Phillip:] Yes, well that's a
[Jane:] at the six o'clock news.
[Phillip:] well, yes sh yes well, this, well this was only the highlights unless the last two or three, no the last two or three parts have been live.
[Jane:] Yeah, on the six o'clock they said it was half way through and Nigel Mansell was the lead and I thought you were watching it live, so I wouldn't just come through and
[Christopher:] Mm mm.
[Phillip:] Right. Chrissy go outside and shake the grass off you now please, off your back. David! [singing] David []!
[Jane:] Are all, are all the bikes put away?
[Phillip:] Yes, tired. We
[Jane:] Skateboards, everything?
[Phillip:] Last time Dave. [singing] David []!
[Jane:] We're going to have to have this room tidied up tomorrow. I hope Morna will sit, but she might not mightn't she?
[Phillip:] Well you haven't asked have you? Aren't you go
[Jane:] Well
[Phillip:] aren't you going to ring her tonight rather
[Jane:] Yes.
[Phillip:] than wait till tomorrow?
[Jane:] Well I forgot. Well she's probably tired, she's been out two nights in a row. I'll get her tomorrow when she's feeling a bit fresher.
[Phillip:] Then she says no.
[Jane:] Well I daren't ask Susan again. Daren't.
[Phillip:] Oh no, we're not asking Susan.
[Jane:] It's getting expensive getting Susan.
[Phillip:] Although the money's not important, it's just that you can't keep asking a girl that age to come out. Are you ready? Are we going upstairs?... Right!... Ooh!
[Jane:] Mind your head.
[Phillip:] Come on boys.
[David:] Can I have some bub
[Jane:] Yes you can
[Phillip:] Yes, course yo
[Jane:] have some bubbles.
[Phillip:] Come on.
[David:] Yippee! putting in some bubbles in the bath.... I'll get.
[Jane:] Why is two thousand three hundred your favourite number? Because when that parcel came from Gwyneth you said that... I think probably two thousand three hundred mini-bites... in it.
[Christopher:] Ha!
[David:] I don't know why, it's funny, two thousand three... thousand, three thousand.... [in bathroom and very noisy due to extraction fan and running the bath]
[Phillip:] Are you happy now?
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] It's not hair wash night is it?
[David:] No.
[Jane:] His hair needs cutting though, look at it.
[Phillip:] Oh I'm not bothering.
[Jane:] No. I'll do that on Tuesday.
[David:] Too late when they've got bubbles.
[Jane:] Yes. You don't have bubbles when you're gonna to wash your hair.
[Phillip:] Come on!
[David:] But, but... ah ah! Mum can you tell jokes in here?
[Jane:] Yes, course you can tell jokes.
[David:] Is that tape on?
[Jane:] Yes.
[Phillip:] You don't worry about that. Come on!
[David:] Mum.
[Phillip:] Get undressed.
[David:] What, what did the policeman say to a bath?
[Jane:] Well I don't know, what did the policeman say to the bath?
[David:] You're on top of the pipes. No, he... no... well what did the shoe,sha what did the pop star say to the bath?
[Jane:] What did the pop star say to the bath? Not one of your obscure ones are they?
[Phillip:] Come on.
[Jane:] This is like your isn't it?
[David:] You're on top of the pipes. [LAUGHTER]... You're on top of the pipes.
[Phillip:] Don't now I don't see that's funny.
[Jane:] Well... he got it.
[David:] You're on Top of the Pops.
[Jane:] Oh oh! I see!
[Phillip:] Oh! I see!
[Jane:] Oh, it's a play on words.
[David:] You're on top of the pipes.
[Jane:] Oh.
[David:] See?
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... Yes, actually it's quite good that
[Phillip:] Well
[Jane:] in an obscure sort
[Phillip:] in obscure
[Jane:] of [LAUGHTER] way [].
[David:] There's lots of it there.
[Jane:] Yes.
[Phillip:] Well yo
[Jane:] er yo just remember we've got to get washed.
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Yes love?
[David:] What did the bath... say to a policeman very moodily?
[Phillip:] I don't think I want to know.
[David:] You get into
[Christopher:] Well it says
[David:] this bath this minute!
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[David:] And the and then or else I'll... open my plug... and water'll come out before you get in.
[Phillip:] Mm.
[David:] Erm, that isn't a joke.
[Phillip:] No, I don't think it was funny.
[Jane:] Well the water's right round there.
[David:] What did the policeman say to the bath?
[Christopher:] You're going
[Phillip:] What did the policeman say his tummy? I remember that one.
[David:] You're under a vest.
[Jane:] You're under a vest. [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[David:] What did the policeman say to a woman?
[Jane:] I don't know. What did the policeman say to the woman? [LAUGHTER] Dare I ask []!
[David:] No. What, what was the policeman say... what, what did the policeman say to the woman who was having a rest?
[Jane:] I don't know. What did the policeman say to the woman [LAUGHTER] that was having a rest []?
[Phillip:] They said, mummy, move yourself!
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] No. No.
[Jane:] Well go on then.
[David:] You're having a rest. You're ha you're under arrest. [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] No.
[Jane:] No.
[Phillip:] You were trying but
[Jane:] No.
[Phillip:] it's not very good. Come on! Get into the bath.
[Jane:] Come on, get in the bath.
[David:] And all the new ones I've brought out.
[Phillip:] Try
[David:] But
[Phillip:] the water first.
[David:] Mm mm. Cos it's.
[Phillip:] Course it will be, I did it. Get in.
[David:] Got bubbles.
[Phillip:] [sighing] Oh [].
[Jane:] I'm going to sta all that's for the wash?
[Phillip:] Right!
[David:] Cos it's... chitty
[Jane:] Cos it's what?
[David:] Chitty.
[Jane:] Are you saying Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?
[David:] Well I can spell chitty.
[Jane:] Well go on then.
[David:] [spelling] C I H T Y [].
[Jane:] No. C
[David:] Ah.
[Jane:] You wrote down all the words in your school book didn't you? I noticed when I was at school the other day.
[David:] And I had to cross them
[Jane:] You ha
[David:] out.
[Jane:] you had to, why did you have to cross all the words out? I thought you'd be
[David:] Cos she didn't want the song.
[Jane:] Ah ah! That's a shame.
[David:] Well it's a
[Jane:] [spelling] C H I []
[David:] Yes.
[Jane:] Yes. What's next?
[David:] Y
[Jane:] No, [spelling] T T Y [].
[David:] [spelling] T T Y [].
[Jane:] You've spelt it correctly in your book. It's easier to spell when you can write things down isn't it? Rather than still, you're only just six. Your spelling's quite good.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Yes?
[David:] Did you like my bit about the... chip in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?
[Jane:] I did. Yes.
[David:] I meant, about the, the one about the... rockets and... Manchester.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[David:] And about that boat called Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
[Jane:] I'm coming into your school
[Phillip:] Come on.
[Jane:] tomorrow to help.
[Phillip:] Get on. [whistling]...
[David:] I can't No!
[Jane:] Is the water too hot David?
[David:] No, I was playing the bubble.
[Jane:] I must admit, with that amount of bubbles in bo... look at your toes peeping out through the bubbles. [LAUGHTER] Look []! [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] It does look funny [].
[Phillip:] I think you better get a move on, it sounds like your brother's coming.
[David:] Doesn't matter.
[Phillip:] Alright. I know.
[Jane:] Oh, yes, he does look like Father Christmas.
[Phillip:] Ready?
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Phillip:] See if your mum can catch.
[Jane:] Ooh!
[Phillip:] No.
[Jane:] Look at that lovely egg. Yes.
[Phillip:] She missed it.
[Jane:] Can you
[David:] I'd like
[Jane:] can we put on that side because I think that's where to keep it. I don't want to lose that again. Do you remember when we got it?
[Christopher:] Yes. Pantomime
[David:] It got, we caught it.
[Jane:] We caught it. Yes, it was really good. And these so you can catch eggs.
[David:] We need to waggle it.
[Christopher:] That's better than ca catching the eggs is better than catching the Wagon Wheel.
[Jane:] Yes, I think so too. Because he only ever, he only threw one egg out of the audience and we caught it, whereas at a, every year he throws lots of Wagon Wheels out.
[Phillip:] Oh oh.
[David:] Yeah, and it's both of them.
[Jane:] Mm mm. But he only ever throws the one egg.
[Phillip:] Come on sa... move it boys!
[David:] Dad!
[Christopher:] I want, oh dad!
[David:] But we've only just got the bubbles in... and the soap'll dissolve them.
[Jane:] Yes it does, the soap does dissolve...
[Phillip:] Mm. Erm... yes.
[David:] So it's... that way.
[Jane:] Well it does. It says in the.
[Christopher:] This is a really good bath!
[Phillip:] Is it?
[Christopher:] Yes. It's the best bath I've ever known.
[Phillip:] Ha! Ha! Ha! [LAUGHTER]... Very funny Chrissy. Yeah, very funny.
[David:] Oh!
[Jane:] Dejection of
[Christopher:] Dejection
[Phillip:] Right Davey
[Jane:] Ah! You're still covered in grass. Look at you!
[Phillip:] What?
[Christopher:] Goodness me!
[Jane:] Been carrying the lawn around with him.
[Phillip:] [yawning] Oh oh oh oh [].
[David:] Oh well... I... look out onto the window and see that it's
[Christopher:] [screaming] Wah []!
[David:] just mud.
[Phillip:] Right. Shall I go and get clothes line ready?
[Jane:] [sighing] Ah []. I emptied there with all the erm lawnmower and everything.
[Phillip:] Then I can peg you out to dry.
[Jane:] You don't want to, cos you're not really... no good David. Two lawnmowers going at the same time the neighbours must be... annoyed.
[Phillip:] Yeah, and I was trying to listen to that lousy interview.
[Jane:] Well you didn't tell me. I didn't realize.
[Phillip:] I did try.
[Jane:] Well, as soon as I realized I stopped.
[Phillip:] No you didn't, you ran out of petrol.
[Jane:] Well... I would have gone round the back again.
[David:] Mummy.
[Jane:] On the radio? Is that why I went out of
[Phillip:] That's, I was, I was, I was listen I was listening to Neil Kinnock
[Jane:] That was why he shouted at us to go away, he was listening to.
[Phillip:] promising us this fantastic new world that isn't gonna cost us any money.
[Jane:] [yawning] Oh []. Well I
[Phillip:] And I, and I believed every word of it.
[Jane:] Ha! Ha! Well, I couldn't know that, I didn't know. Do you realize this time next week we'll know.
[Christopher:] Pardon?
[Jane:] The result of the general elections.
[Christopher:] And the Conservatives will have won.
[Phillip:] D'ya think?
[Jane:] Hopefully. Why not?
[David:] Do you know how I want to be... the Prime Minister of next year?
[Phillip:] Yeah.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... Next
[David:] Er
[Jane:] year? I would give it a year
[David:] but
[Jane:] or two sunshine.
[Christopher:] Well, about four years.
[Jane:] And why do you want to be the Prime Minister?
[Phillip:] No. He's gonna tell you who he wanted to be.
[Jane:] Oh! I thought you said he wanted to be. Alright. Who do you want to be the Prime Minister next year?
[David:] Er er... President President Gorbachov.
[Phillip:] Oh yeah!
[Jane:] Oh! Yes.
[Phillip:] That's a really intelligent suggestion.
[Jane:] Yes. Well yes, that's very good.
[David:] Er, or Michael Heseltine.
[Phillip:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] [LAUGHTER]... David do you know David, he, he made Mrs Thatcher resign. didn't he?
[Phillip:] Yes.
[Jane:] Yeah. In a way. Unfortunately.
[Christopher:] She can still become Prime Minister though can she?
[Jane:] No.
[Phillip:] No.
[Christopher:] Oh.
[Jane:] No. But, well she could
[Phillip:] Well in theory, yes.
[Jane:] she, she's going to
[Phillip:] but in practise, no. She's dropped out now Chris.
[Jane:] she's not going to resign as an MP this time, in fact, she's in America now. Do you remember how erm
[Phillip:] Go on David, get on with soaping now love.
[Jane:] David heard that Mr Major was going to be Prime Minister and he said, [LAUGHTER] surely it's Mrs Major [].
[Phillip:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] I didn't!
[Phillip:] I, I, I think
[Jane:] Er and Chrissy, and Chrissy said to me, I didn't realize a man could be [LAUGHTER] Prime Minister [].
[Phillip:] Quite so, I think if Kinnock
[Christopher:] But I
[Phillip:] if Kinnock gets in you've got an old woman so you'll be right.
[Jane:] I think that's fantastic! That David, they thought
[Christopher:] But I thought it was
[Jane:] that women could o only women could hold the top jobs.
[Christopher:] No, I thought... if it was a man it was a president and it was a woman it was Prime Minister.
[Jane:] Oh yes,yo you're destroying my belief in what you were thinking about. Cos I thought you thought only women could
[Phillip:] Come on David, soap please.
[Jane:] rule.
[Phillip:] Before your brother gets in.
[Christopher:] Well I thought
[Phillip:] Come on!
[David:] [whingeing] No []!
[Christopher:] Have they got the wax work up yet? In the, that hall somewhere, I can't remember where it is.
[Phillip:] Madame Tussauds.
[Christopher:] I'm not sure. They have a wax work of ma Mrs Thatcher up... and erm... Mis Mr erm... Major wouldn't go there till they erm... so that, they've still got Mrs Thatcher's one up.
[Phillip:] I don't know.
[Jane:] They're both Conservative.
[Christopher:] Mm. [splashing water in bath]
[Jane:] there's more bubbles down your end.
[Christopher:] Mm. But it's
[David:] Cos I'm getting cold.
[Jane:] Right. I'm going to record erm
[David:] Cos Chrissy's
[Jane:] a programme.
[David:] getting in here.
[Phillip:] Right Jane. Just watch it!
[David:] [singing]
[Christopher:] [sigh]
[David:] []
[Phillip:] Behave!
[Christopher:] You can get out now
[Phillip:] Stop it!
[Christopher:] David.
[David:] [singing] []. Pardon?
[Christopher:] Get out!
[Phillip:] Oh!
[David:] Are you allowed to, recording all this on your personal stereo?
[Phillip:] Get off.
[David:] Shut up!
[Phillip:] Ah! Beg your pardon!
[David:] Sorry.
[Phillip:] You will be! That's one thing you don't say. Here.
[David:] ... [singing] Dun dun, da dun dun, dun dun diddle diddle diddle diddle [].
[Christopher:] Get back in... before he, can I
[Phillip:] He's erm
[Christopher:] have some more water in?
[Phillip:] he's, he's put you the bubbles at your end Chris. Go on down.
[Christopher:] Can I have some more water
[Phillip:] No.
[Christopher:] in?
[Phillip:] You're not staying in here all night tonight. Come on. Get on that end.
[Christopher:] Oi!
[Phillip:] Oi what?
[Christopher:] You hit me.
[Phillip:] [clapping]... [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] Aha! You should.
[Phillip:] [LAUGHTER]... [sighing] Right [].
[David:] Get your attention Chris. Dad said
[Phillip:] Shall we try another one? [clapping]
[David:] Dad.
[Christopher:] Ow!
[David:] Dad's just jealous. Dad's just jealous.
[Phillip:] Of what?
[Christopher:] Show your muscles David. Go like that.
[Phillip:] Do you want one David? [clapping]
[David:] Mm.
[Christopher:] No!
[Phillip:] It's a good one. [clapping]
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] I'm a weakling aren't I Dad?
[Phillip:] I know that.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] You and your mum too, I know. Come on Dave! Use the soap properly, then give it Chris.
[Christopher:] A feeble five.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] No he's not. He's a silly six.
[David:] Mm.
[Christopher:] No that's in the... there's this... detective... erm... there's these, there's these detective book and th there's a girl, detective girl Sam, and erm... her e... the Feeble Five headed by Steve.
[Phillip:] So, what's
[Christopher:] Er
[Phillip:] that, a take-off of the Famous Five?
[Christopher:] I don't know. But er... and... if sh she's in the last book, she tells... how ugly... erm, erm Steve was. Er, but erm... she wouldn't bother to... she'll be getting her e old age pension before she's finished.
[Phillip:] Mm mm. Dave! Stop it! Come on, sit up. You've gotta be out in half a second now.
[Christopher:] My shoes are stuck to the
[Phillip:] Well that's good.
[Christopher:] look, this part
[Phillip:] . Right plonker... let's do that.
[David:] I'm not getting out yet.
[Phillip:] I beg your pardon?
[David:] I'm not getting out yet.
[Phillip:] Aren't you?
[David:] No!
[Christopher:] Oh no he's not, he's, he's gonna get out in ten seconds.
[David:] No I'm not.
[Phillip:] Here are Chris.
[David:] I'm going to get out in... three.
[Christopher:] [screaming] Ah []! Get off!
[David:] I'm going to get out in
[Phillip:] I beg your pardon?
[Christopher:] [screaming] Ah! Get [LAUGHTER] off []! Dad
[David:] Ha!
[Christopher:] get off []! Get off.
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Right!
[Christopher:] You dare!
[Phillip:] Bu bubbles from fifty yards.
[David:] [singing] Doo, doo dee doo [].
[Phillip:] That's it Dave. Come on bubbles him.
[Christopher:] [shouting] Get off []!
[Phillip:] No, no, no, no.
[David:] No! [LAUGHTER] No []!
[Phillip:] The more he says no the more you can bubbles him Dave.
[David:] [singing] Dee da dee dee dee []. [LAUGHTER]... Come on.
[Christopher:] [scream]
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] Right?
[Christopher:] Yeah but that's not fair!
[Phillip:] Of course it's fair.
[David:] Get back in there.
[Christopher:] Well you're not allowed switch the tap on. I only flicked water at you.
[Phillip:] I might turn the cold tap on you. Come on Dave.
[Christopher:] Yeah but I didn't
[Phillip:] No that's Chrissy's towel. Sorry. Wrong one.
[David:] And that. [screaming] Ah ah []!
[Christopher:] And he's, he's breaking your arm off.
[Phillip:] Stand up David.
[David:] I can't go out, I've only just got in.
[Phillip:] Dave! Up!
[David:] No oh.
[Phillip:] Now!
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... Now!
[Phillip:] Now!
[David:] Ooh ooh!
[Phillip:] Up!
[David:] Ow! Chris no!
[Christopher:] [clapping] No! No!
[Phillip:] Alright Christopher, you've learnt the clapping trick. Now come on David, up!
[Christopher:] [clapping]... No I haven't dad.
[David:] I didn't tha
[Christopher:] [whistling]
[Phillip:] Go on, stop that whistle Chris. Dave! Up!
[David:] I can't after all that whistle.
[Christopher:] Wurgh! Urgh!
[David:] I still can't.
[Phillip:] Come on then.
[David:] Ah ah! Aargh! [LAUGHTER] They won't
[Phillip:] Come on.
[David:] do it [].
[Phillip:] Come on.
[Christopher:] Oh God! They can't get up. Stay in there and the water'll be alright.
[Phillip:] Chrissy! Just leave be quiet, leave him alone. David! Will you please get up now before I, there's trouble!
[David:] [singing] Ba ba ba ba ba ba da da da da da da ah [].
[Christopher:] Can I have some more water in? It's not really deep.
[Phillip:] No! You're not stopping in.
[Christopher:] Well it's cold.
[Phillip:] Well, that's your fault for coming up late.
[Christopher:] Yes but you put the water in.
[David:] Ah.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Phillip:] ... Come on. There, get yourself dry.
[David:] No. Cos
[Christopher:] [singing] I was left alone [].
[David:] [singing] La la, la la ah ah ah ah
[Phillip:] Get on with it. Come on!
[David:] ah ah ah ah, la la []! Come on dad, help me please.
[Phillip:] No, do it yourself.
[Christopher:] D I Y, just being here, do-it-yourself.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] Just cos you're brain washed with television advertisements Chrissy.
[Christopher:] I'm not. Cos you keep going on about it.
[Phillip:] Mm.
[David:] Mhm. How about... ba er... how about... ambers... how about... Andrex.
[Jane:] Has anybody heard the weather forecast today?
[David:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] You, you were listening to it on the radio. I heard you listening and I thought oh she'll probably wanna tell me if there's anything, it's that the warmer airstream or something.
[Jane:] Yeah, I, I can never, I can never take in the rain check. Oh! Unsettled that was it. And then more showers.
[Phillip:] Come on, Chris. Get on.
[Jane:] Ian McCaskill's trying to tell us what the weather forecast'll
[Christopher:] You wouldn't
[Jane:] be like for Thursday and I'm sort of thinking, why Thursday? Then it suddenly dawned on me, why... Thursday.
[Phillip:] Right. Come on! Move it!
[Christopher:] Yeah but you did the weather all sunny... on the computer.
[Phillip:] Yes, but I haven't been to work today. I
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Phillip:] e I read it yesterday and it was gonna be alright, it said fine.
[Jane:] There's only one sock here, where's your other dirty sock?
[Christopher:] But that yesterday dad but I thought it was today.
[Jane:] Well I expect the whole thing needs washing doesn't it?
[Phillip:] Pardon?
[Christopher:] I thought it was today you want on the computer.
[Phillip:] Yesterday we went.
[Christopher:] I know.
[David:] She ee shh.
[Phillip:] Go on Dave, get on.
[Christopher:] [whistling]
[David:] Chris. Splash... this... splash over the... splash over the bath. There, a really big splash!
[Christopher:] Mm, whoosh!
[David:] Well I'll do that. I'm was having on mine.
[Jane:] Alright? Which one's yours? Are you a Smartie one?
[David:] Yeah.
[Jane:] Well go and fetch it then.
[David:] Right.
[Phillip:] There's a... a thing there. Do you want any more drink?
[Jane:] No thank you, I, please let me just finish clearing and I'll, I'll get it finished off quickly.... You were telling that Judy, Julie.
[Phillip:] Nothing. She said she was just having just the usual drinking gear and er
[Jane:] Well I'm
[Phillip:] eat biscuits, and I don't, nothing else.
[Jane:] I haven't, I haven't any biscuits have I?
[Phillip:] Well you'll have some Kit-Kats or summat won't you?
[Jane:] Nope.
[Phillip:] Breakaway?
[Jane:] I think I've got Breakaways. I want to put the... disposal unit on so can you... move this?
[Phillip:] Come on sunshine, come and sit with me here.
[David:] Right. I'm ready.
[Phillip:] You're ready? What are you going to do?
[David:] Well, first I need a... light of concentration
[Phillip:] Oh light helps you concentrate does it?
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] Go on then. Have some light.
[David:] That's... sit down! No next to me here.
[Phillip:] Oh right. I'm coming.
[David:] Just leave that here.
[Phillip:] Right.
[David:] Right.
[Phillip:] Now what are you going to show me?
[David:] I'll tell you.... Right. One, plus, plus... one. I'm taking some ones.
[Phillip:] Oh I see. That's how you set that up to do that is it?
[David:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] Who showed you that?
[David:] Mrs.
[Phillip:] Well I didn't know that. But
[David:] She's getting a job at a different school now.
[Phillip:] Cor! Has she?
[David:] Getting a job.
[Phillip:] But, you don't need a machine to do that. You can count just like that.
[David:] And, and, well I'm just showing you them.
[Phillip:] Right. So
[David:] Here.
[Phillip:] Yes.
[David:] Seven twos.... That's two, I got, got it, got it.
[Phillip:] Right. But you can count in twos.
[David:] Of course I can! Two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve.
[Phillip:] After twelve?
[David:] Fourteen.
[Phillip:] Then?
[David:] Sixteen.
[Phillip:] Then?
[David:] Eighteen.
[Phillip:] Then?
[David:] Twenty.
[Phillip:] Then?
[David:] Twenty two.
[Phillip:] Mm. You're having to think about it. Off then.
[David:] Clear.
[Phillip:] So can you do ninety nines? Keep adding ninety nines together?
[David:] Wait!
[Phillip:] What's two ninety nines? That's right. Oh! No now it gets useful doesn't it? When you're dealing in bigger figures
[David:] All the
[Phillip:] than you can do in your mind.
[David:] all the, all the numbers.
[Phillip:] Mm. Right, read me that number.
[David:] Two hundred and sixty nine.
[Phillip:] Start again.
[David:] A hundred and two sixty nine.
[Phillip:] How do you get that? I number one is, what does it say at the end?
[David:] Nothing there. Full stop.
[Phillip:] It says, two, O, seven, nine.
[David:] Oh. Two O seven nine.
[Phillip:] Which is? What does that make?
[David:] It's the number of a steam engine I've got.
[Phillip:] I'm not bothered whether it's a number of a steam engine but... how do you pronounce that number?
[David:] Two hundred a
[Phillip:] No. No.
[David:] two.
[Phillip:] If it was that number it would be hundreds. It's bigger than hundreds, so what's that?
[David:] Er thousands.
[Phillip:] Right. So how many thousands?
[David:] Two thousand and seventy nine.
[Phillip:] Well you got there in the end didn't you?
[David:] Right.
[Phillip:] Right.
[David:] Now it's even more difficult. Even more difficult.... Equals
[Phillip:] Yeah, very clever. You can add up in, what are you doing up, in tens?
[David:] Tens.
[Phillip:] You can do that. Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, can't you?
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] What comes next?
[David:] Fifty, sixty.
[Phillip:] Then?
[David:] seventy, eighty, ninety, twenty
[Phillip:] Ah ah! Ninety?
[David:] A hundred.
[Phillip:] That's better. And add up in hundreds now.
[David:] A hundred, twenty
[Phillip:] No. A
[David:] a hundred billi
[Phillip:] No, start off
[David:] Erm
[Phillip:] with a hundred and then add another hundred what do you get?
[David:] I'm trying to work my way to the end.
[Phillip:] Now you're being a pickle! Not, not with the machine. Using your own head. Add, add hundreds up. Come on. What do you start with?
[David:] A hundred, a hundred and one, and
[Phillip:] No. No, no, no, no! I was, I wasn't meaning you to go up in single numbers I was meaning, go up in hundreds. Start off with a hundred.
[David:] Yes. A hundred.
[Phillip:] Then add, add the same again.
[David:] Two hundred, three hundred, four hundred, five hundred, six hundred, seven hundred, eight hundred, nine hundred, ten hundred.
[Phillip:] But what's ten hundred?
[David:] A thousand.
[Phillip:] Right. So why didn't you say that?
[David:] You didn't... yo
[Phillip:] I, I did. I was expecting you to count, nobody says ten hundred. Do they?
[David:] No! It always goes onto the next number. Every number ga always goes up to nine.
[Phillip:] Then it triggers over into another one doesn't it?
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] Now what were we saying the other day? You have, units... tens, hundreds, thousands
[David:] But Dad
[Phillip:] don't you?
[David:] but [sigh]... three er... there. Check that number. Ha! That was stupid. Yeah.
[Phillip:] Mm mm. So Mrs was showing you how to do this?
[David:] Right. Yes.
[Phillip:] What, what else have you learnt to do with a calculator? If you had four things
[David:] Yes. If I give them
[Phillip:] and you wanted to divide them among four people
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] how many would each person get?
[David:] But I don I, I, I didn't quite get the question.
[Phillip:] If you had four things and you wanted to divide them between four people
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] how many would each person get?
[David:] Two. No, one.
[Phillip:] That's better. Now you did that without a calculator didn't you?
[David:] Oh I see.
[Phillip:] Right, now this time do it with the calculator. So you've got
[David:] Four... turn it on.
[Phillip:] Turn it on.... You run out of light? There are. Now you're on. Which figure do you want? No. No. You're dividing.
[David:] Which one's divide?
[Phillip:] That one. Divide by
[David:] Four.
[Phillip:] Yes. That's right. Equals? Right. Now that wa that time, that's easy. That just proves what you already know.
[David:] Right dad, I'll show you something else.
[Phillip:] No. I was going to do more
[David:] But I wa I want to show you something, that's all.
[Phillip:] Go on then. Nine, fifty six... square root.
[David:] Er
[Phillip:] Who taught you that?
[David:] [LAUGHTER] Well, I lis no one. It's Mrs said to Mark
[Phillip:] Just a minute.
[David:] he, he, he was getting the... controls wrong. [LAUGHTER] He pressed square root instead of equals [].
[Phillip:] Yes. And so you've discovered
[David:] Eh!
[Phillip:] the square root of ninety six is nine point seven nine, seven nine, five, eight nine. But do you know what square root means?
[David:] What?
[Phillip:] Well the square root of a number
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] is the number which if multiplied by itself
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] gives you back the number you started with. Take, for, the easiest one is... four. The square root of four is two. Try it on your machine.
[David:] Right. What do I press?
[Phillip:] Four... four, square root... and it gives you two. Because two times two... gives you four. Try the square root of nine.... Just press clear.
[David:] Yeah, I just press this one.
[Phillip:] Yes. Clear that bit.
[David:] Cos it clears the whole mind.
[Phillip:] Right.
[David:] What shall I press?
[Phillip:] Nine... square root... is three. So if you multiply three times three... you get nine. Now it's easy when you deal in numbers like that because if you go to sixteen
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] the square root is four.
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] And if you go to twenty five the square root is five. That's the number which multiplied by its... self
[David:] Right.
[Phillip:] gives you the number. Now, now it gets difficult when you come to a number like six.
[David:] Oh yes.
[Phillip:] Try and find the square root of six. What do you think, have you an idea of what it will be. Don't, don't press the button. Six.
[David:] Er er
[Phillip:] What, what number do you think you'd have to multiply by itself to get six?
[David:] Three.
[Phillip:] No. Three times three is?
[David:] I don... six, six.... It's three.
[Phillip:] No. Three times three.
[David:] I don't know the answer!
[Phillip:] Well look... three... three... and three. So how many have you got?
[David:] Ten.
[Phillip:] [LAUGHTER] No! Plonker []! You've got nine.
[David:] I'm just going
[Phillip:] Anyway
[David:] to check.
[Phillip:] So, there you are. It's two point four four nine, which really, is very close to two and a half. Which isn't quite right. Oh that, well that's the square root of the other one so you're, you're going to smaller square roots every time. That gets very difficult.
[David:] Right.
[Phillip:] Right. So clear all that and go back to what you wanted to do.
[David:] Right, I'll show you. Ten... square root... is
[Phillip:] Three point one six two two seven seven six.
[David:] Right. Eh eh.
[Phillip:] Four hundred and fifty six square root is twenty one point three five four one five six. Very clever. Useless for you though. You don't really need that information do you?
[David:] Well dad!
[Phillip:] So what, what, what sort of information do you need?
[David:] Tt. Counting information.
[Phillip:] Well, if you went out doing your favourite hobby.
[David:] Yes. an engine.
[Phillip:] Pardon?
[David:] Getting in an engine.
[Phillip:] Driving an engine. Now how would sums come into that?
[David:] What! You can't get sums in an engine's smoke box.
[Phillip:] Mm. You could if they would burn.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] Well you co
[David:] I, I want to get clever with you.
[Phillip:] Oh I thought you had been. Shall we turn that off now then?
[David:] I'll get
[Jane:] on City News there's gonna be something about trams in Manchester somebody wants to see.
[Phillip:] Well is it the new ones or is it, on the television, or on the radio?
[Jane:] Yeah, on, on the television. Do you want to switch it on?
[Phillip:] Do you want, no th are you interested David?
[David:] [whispering] Yes []. Course I am, in anything like that.
[Jane:] Well I'm, I'm going up for my shower is that okay?
[Phillip:] Okay, off you go. I'll come up soon and... despatch David.
[Jane:] Sorry? [tv on]
[Phillip:] Oh!
[Jane:] What?
[Phillip:] Is this the first part of the news or the second
[Jane:] No.
[Phillip:] bit?
[Jane:] It's the second half.
[Phillip:] So there won't be much more?
[Jane:] No. Oh no, I mean it's about another... another eight minutes.
[Phillip:] Right.
[Jane:] I thought he'd want to see, take my shower.
[Phillip:] Yes, off you go then. See you later. Right Dave, what do you want to do now while you're waiting?
[David:] Get really clever!
[Phillip:] So how are you gonna get really clever?
[David:] I'm going to get two sheets of paper and two pencils.
[Phillip:] I haven't got time for a lot of stuff. Don don't be getting a lot out tonight cos you've got Julie coming.
[David:] They're not a lot anyway. Only two of them each.
[Phillip:] Okay. Right what do you want?
[David:] Take one sheet.
[Phillip:] I've got one sheet.
[David:] Take the green crayon then.
[Phillip:] Right, I've got the green crayon.
[David:] Put it that way.
[Phillip:] Hang on let me just... turn the television down.... You... you keep your eye on it so that when your tra tram programme comes on we can watch it. Right. What to do?
[David:] Well it's that way you need it. I want a table for this.
[Phillip:] Well you can't use these tables. Don't... let me just move this... magazine.
[David:] Write... five on it.
[Phillip:] Have I got to write five on mine?
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] Right. My green pen doesn't write very well. There you are.
[David:] Double add.
[Phillip:] Double add? I'm not used to double add. Five plus plus... equals
[David:] Equals
[Phillip:] Equals, equals? Well this is a bit of a nonsense.... What's that? One hundred plus plus
[David:] Equals, equals.
[Phillip:] Equals, equals.
[David:] Now it gets easier.
[Phillip:] Mhm.
[David:] Now it gets really even harder.
[Phillip:] Well which way is it? Does it get harder or easier?... Three hundred.
[David:] Mm.
[Phillip:] Oh, three hundred and four.... I, I'm not understanding when you're doing plus plus when you're writing down yourself. What are you trying to prove?
[David:] Divide
[Phillip:] Mm. Well that's, that's, that's very good for divide, but that's a square root sign.
[David:] A square root.
[Phillip:] A square root at three hundred and four?
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] Haven't a clue.
[David:] Equals
[Phillip:] Equals... now what do you want me to do with all these?
[David:] Guess.
[Phillip:] Oh I'm guessing.
[David:] Write your name at the top.
[Phillip:] It's alright writing my name Dave but what am I doing?... Mm?
[David:] It's easier and easier.
[Phillip:] Well it doesn't look easy. Look, I'll do the usual. Let me write you down some sums. And you, you can answer them.
[David:] Okay.
[Phillip:] Sorry. I've put an answer in where you don't want.... There you are. There's a nice list of sums for you. Just get on with
[David:] What
[Phillip:] those. That's it.
[David:] Well it isn't easy. It's the right one.
[Phillip:] Bu yes, you got it right. I, I shouldn't have written that.
[David:] You sho... [whispering], five, six, seven, eight [].
[Phillip:] Good
[David:] [whispering] [].
[Phillip:] Speak up.
[David:] How do you do a seven?
[Phillip:] Er er, like that. You know how to do a seven. Oh here's the tram bit. Let's fli turn up the sound... then we can... [tv on]... No you've done that backwards, it's seventeen not seventy one. Here we go look.... Oh look Dave this is great! Going... back to the old trams.
[David:] But how can they go through the towns?
[Phillip:] Well trams Dave... they do both, they go on the railway lines and they go through the town centre.... Right. Oh dear!
[David:] Don't watch this.
[Phillip:] The Olympics, not that far away.... Right.
[David:] Let's see. Seven minus two is
[Phillip:] Good.... Ah ah! That's wrong.... Right. I'll just turn off the television then we can concentrate on
[David:] I can.
[Phillip:] Da David! You're not doing very well on that question and you've done harder ones. Remember how you do it. Add the four to the three
[David:] I have.
[Phillip:] and what do you get?
[David:] Eighteen!
[Phillip:] No you don't. Well do it, do it the way on your fingers. You've got thirteen plus four. Thirteen... Got it now?
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] Plonker! Right. Now let's do this one. This is, this is easy.... Great! Now yo there you are now then... now getting a little harder but you can do it in just the same way.
[David:] [whispering] [].
[Phillip:] So what's the answer?... Yes! You've got it right. Now this last one... then we'll do something different.... That's right. Thirty three minus two is... thirty one. That's not bad. Right what do you want to do now?... Mm?
[David:] Er er, I don't know.
[Phillip:] Right. Well we can do plenty of that.... Have you cleared up all your toys and everything before Julie comes?
[David:] There's that
[Phillip:] Well then... why is it still out?... And have you cleared up everything in the dining room?
[David:] Oh my er... trees are still out. Chrissy hasn't put all the... climbing up things away.
[Phillip:] Mm mm. Well shall we go through and do some clearing up then? Come on. Go and put these pens away and the paper please.
[David:] We'll do some writing then.
[Phillip:] Not tonight we won't. There's not gonna be any more time. Go put those away please. Off you go. Right. Now you said you were gonna tell me what's happened on the news so far.
[David:] Three people have er been killed in a railway accident after their... their car... ran into the side of a train.
[Phillip:] Oh dear!
[David:] Wh which is about er... which... is about er... open... er... the day after tomorrow.
[Phillip:] What's open... the day after tomorrow?
[David:] The level crossing.
[Phillip:] Oh it's closed now is it?
[David:] No, they're going to open it. It's new.
[Phillip:] Aha.... What else has been happening?
[David:] And dad?
[Phillip:] Yes.
[David:] You know that many level crossings are one barrier?
[Phillip:] Yes.
[David:] Well that... they showed us er... a thing about... the speed about... about the traffic approaching lights when they're... starting flashing. It showed you a car go over that, going over,tha a lorry going over crossing and the lights were starting to flash.
[Phillip:] Well a lot of people do that. It's very dangerous.
[David:] But I was supposed to stop.
[Phillip:] They ha as soon as the lights flash supposed to stop. Be
[David:] What the running of the railway line?
[Phillip:] No, they're supposed to stop before the lights. Silly!
[David:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] Because, on a lot of those the train
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] activates the lights as it's approaching the crossing.
[David:] Yes cos most,o most of that one barrier, it said on the news that they're o automatic.
[Phillip:] That's right. So
[David:] They have er special cameras which... they take the line of the trains both sides.
[Phillip:] Mhm. And the barriers drop, so if you try and go through when the lights are flashing or if you try and go round the barriers... the chances are the train's getting nearer and nearer and could hit you. So it's a very silly thing to do.
[David:] Yes. Like if it's one metre away and there's a car going across.
[Phillip:] Well if you were that close and the lights started you'd probably get across. But if you, like, you know what it's like when we come
[David:] If, if the barriers were down er and you were still on the railway... er th... ah... there's only way you can escape. Go round by the barrier pole.
[Phillip:] Well yes, but look at the crossings we've got in Driffield.
[David:] Yes. The barriers
[Phillip:] Er
[David:] .
[Phillip:] they've got full barriers you see.
[David:] Full barriers. Double are safe.
[Phillip:] Well, they're different because they have them... they're really controlled by a man in a signal box so they're
[David:] Yes they are controlled.
[Phillip:] controlled by a television. Er
[David:] If they're controlled... well dad, everyone knows that one th the Tackleby's controlled by a man.
[Phillip:] Oh yes. That was good wasn't it?
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] Yes, you enjoyed that trip into the signal box didn't you?
[David:] Oh yes. But... though it was rather dangerous. After all in my, you know my er... people working on the rails book? The one
[Phillip:] Yes.
[David:] . It says, you must never try to steer ru steer round a bu barrier poles.
[Phillip:] That's right.
[David:] And they're trying to take away as many er... possible erm, mainly one barrier er... railway gates as possible.
[Phillip:] Well I didn't know they were trying to get rid of those.
[David:] Especially on busy main roads.
[Phillip:] But some of the crossings around this area didn't have any barriers at all
[David:] Ah ah.
[Phillip:] and... they just had the flashing lights.
[David:] Well it's like wo ones at Meading Ro Meadow Road.
[Phillip:] That's right.
[David:] They're only wooden ones.
[Phillip:] Ah well tha no Meadow Road's got the old gates but... at Natherton there were some that didn't have any... barriers at all, they were just flashing lights. Now, do you remember... now let's think whether you were born. When the Lockington railway disaster happened... that was just a few miles from here.
[David:] At Manchester?
[Phillip:] No, Lockington.
[David:] Ah.
[Phillip:] And that was where er, a train came off the railways when it hit a van... on
[David:] Oh.
[Phillip:] on the crossing er and killed a lot of people.
[David:] Oh. I, I, I know, I'd, I have never heard... never heard.
[Phillip:] Oh! That's sa surprise cos I was on the way to Hull... oh yes! You were around because I was going to take you and Chrissy to Hull to a train fair
[David:] Ah yes! And mum and Chrissy slept in the car.
[Phillip:] and and th that's ri they were, they, mum was gonna stay at home and I was gonna take you for a ride on the train
[David:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] and then mum decided she was going to come so we took the car. And we might, might well have been on that train that had the crash.
[David:] Yes. Thank goodness we didn't.
[Phillip:] Well it was one of those things wasn't it?
[David:] Well it's a good job mum came.
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[David:] I hope, I hope.
[Phillip:] Well we went past the crash and we could see that there was something going on but we weren't sure what it was. It happened just after we went past the, just before. You could see... er... a couple of Land Rovers going down with flashing blue lights and things towards
[David:] I
[Phillip:] the crossing.
[David:] And th th and they would be police ones if they'd got blue lights and
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[David:] so did you, could you hear the sirens?
[Phillip:] No I couldn't. But erm... when we, by the time we got into Hull I heard it on the radio what had happened... and we went to the toy fair and then we came back... and there was er... you could see all the ambulances and everything still there. And the train was there leaning over.
[David:] But half of it was still on the rails.
[Phillip:] Yes it was the front coaches went off.
[David:] Front coaches?
[Phillip:] Onto the side I think.
[David:] Well what sort of express?
[Phillip:] It was erm... well what do you think it would be?
[David:] Er... I think it must have been a multiple unit.
[Phillip:] That's right. It was a diesel multiple unit. And it was before you had your pacers and sprinters.
[David:] Yes. Thank goodness for that! I wouldn't want one of those, one of the pacers or sprinters or metros spoilt.
[Phillip:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] But dad! They're all multiple units... at sometimes.
[Phillip:] Yes, of course they are, but we, I was talking about the old sort of diesel multiple unit.
[David:] Yes. One with the yellow front. You can get all different sorts of, one with two red lights erm... one with two windows...
[Phillip:] Can you?
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] Mm. I'm pleased you know your trains. Yeah. Right. Well I'm gonna have to start thinking about getting ready. What about you getting ready for bed now?
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Mhm?
[David:] What about the Manchester... crossing disaster?
[Phillip:] Which one was that?
[David:] Er, just outside Manchester.
[Phillip:] Mm mm. Can't remember that one.
[David:] The one about those two boys playing on the track.
[Phillip:] Oh! Is that one they've told you about at school?
[David:] No. No. I got it from the telly.
[Phillip:] Oh! Did you now?
[David:] No. You, you told me about it when you came home once. You told me about that disaster.
[Phillip:] Well, your memory's better than mine. I can't remember it now.
[David:] The only tha disaster I know very well is the Tay one... the Tay... Tay Bridge.
[Phillip:] The Tay Bridge.
[David:] Yes. And half of it still is standing.
[Phillip:] What else do you know?
[David:] Er er... tt oh... what about?
[Phillip:] The Tay Bridge.
[David:] Er er... well the engine which should have pulled, the post train, broke down... so that went to the works... and the engine which took its replacement
[Phillip:] Mhm.
[David:] was one which... they... which fell down with a crash.
[Phillip:] Oh! Mm mm.
[David:] Dad! You should know all this, you told me.
[Phillip:] Well you've got your book on it haven't you? Somewhere.
[David:] Of course! But I can't read it.
[Phillip:] [LAUGHTER]... Right. Anyway, come on let's
[David:] But dad, I don't understand.
[Phillip:] Well what don't you understand?
[David:] About all this at Tay Bridge. About other things in my book.
[Phillip:] Mm mm. Anyway, come on, let's go get ready.
[David:] They really should give... give you a magazine article itself about the Tay Bridge.
[Phillip:] Well you've got a magazine that's got a lot of it in.
[David:] But not very much.
[Phillip:] No.
[Jane:] [shouting] Here's Julie here now Phil []!
[Phillip:] I've left the tape running... running.
[Julie:] Sorry cat. Oh. Come on.
[Jane:] Hi Julie!... Hi Julie.
[David:] Mummy.
[Jane:] He's not ready.
[Julie:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] He's got a nerve asking you to, well letting you do this.
[Julie:] Sorry?
[Jane:] I, he's got a nerve
[David:] Mum!
[Jane:] letting you do this! It's taking
[David:] Mummy!
[Jane:] advantage! Sit down.
[Julie:] I wonder if I
[Jane:] You don't mind? I'll take you through in a minute, I'm just cleaning my shoes.
[Julie:] Alright. I'll take them off.
[Jane:] No don't take them off, it's ju d'ya know I had those re-heeled about two weeks ago.
[Julie:] Did you?
[Jane:] Look!
[Julie:] It's, well
[Jane:] Isn't that awful!
[Julie:] Well yeah.
[Jane:] Bit depressing though cos well it's two, two pounds fifty six. I've just taken another pair today to be re-heeled. I mean, all I've done is walk up to the school a couple of times in them.
[Julie:] Can hear the sheep.
[Jane:] Yes. They're noisy tonight.
[Julie:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] Oh you brought all your work with you? Erm... there's all the stuff there. There's only biscuits, I haven't been able to do any baking.
[Julie:] I don't want, I don't eat them. I don't eat [LAUGHTER] any more [].
[Jane:] Well especially if it's my baking!
[Julie:] Mm.
[Jane:] Now David will be down in a minute. David, can you tuck your pyjamas in please?
[David:] Yep.
[Jane:] Do you know how to work the fire? , if I can work it anybody can. Erm, Chris is out at Cubs but he gets brought home.
[Julie:] Right.
[Jane:] So he'll arrive about... twenty to, quarter to eight, and he just gets dropped off. Well, the person who's dropping him off might just check that there actually is somebody in the house, you know, so... do you know how to work the television?
[Julie:] No.
[Jane:] Well okay, I'll come and help you. It's on standby and then er there's the controller
[Julie:] Er er
[Jane:] it needs new batteries
[Julie:] never mind.
[Jane:] er to ge to get
[Phillip:] Hi love.
[Jane:] if not, erm, just press these buttons here.
[Julie:] Oh right.
[Jane:] There's the Radio Times there
[Phillip:] Erm
[Jane:] there.
[Phillip:] so a one-legged person going out of here.
[Jane:] I'm trying to put my shoes on.
[Phillip:] Right. Erm... David
[Jane:] David. He's out there eating again.
[Phillip:] Having his yoghurt. His toothbrush is up, Judy... he's
[Jane:] Julie, not Judy!
[Phillip:] I said Julie didn't I? Oh yes alright.
[Julie:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] He's erm, he's self-sufficient, as Chrissy walks in David can go up to bed, he's, can do his own teeth, get himself in and, you know, and
[Jane:] He's been.
[Phillip:] if you let him though he'll, he'll stay up all night and read to you and things like that, but no, just send him to bed. I don't mind if he reads for a few minutes but that's it. Chrissy will come in, he might... come in bringing Simon and his mum
[Jane:] He won't!
[Phillip:] You know Fran... bri
[Julie:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] brings him home? And... the last two weeks they've come traipsing in to swap
[Jane:] They won't tonight. They won't.
[Phillip:] to swap Megadrives.
[Jane:] They won't.
[Phillip:] Anyway
[Jane:] In other words Julie, there is nothing for you to do is all, I mean, you're giving, you're giving millions of instructions
[Phillip:] No, but if Fran walks in, if Fran walks in they'll just put, they'll put a toy on and they'll take it out
[Jane:] Well Chris' ll sort all that out. You can just ignore everything.
[Phillip:] you can tell them to clear off.
[Jane:] You can
[Phillip:] Erm
[Jane:] have a go on my exercise bike if you want.
[Phillip:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] That's if nobody [LAUGHTER] else does [].
[Phillip:] Erm
[Julie:] Don't you like it?
[Jane:] Well tha... it requires effort.
[Phillip:] Er er... yeah, and Chrissy goes to bed at eight. He can only read till half past.
[Jane:] But he knows, he knows that.
[Phillip:] I know, but
[Jane:] There's nothing for you to know
[Phillip:] he'll Julie around
[Jane:] really!
[Phillip:] you know he does.
[Jane:] Well I shall smack his bo oh yes.
[Phillip:] Julie won't tell you.
[Jane:] Was it
[Julie:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] wasn't it last time you came, years ago, and he cried?
[Julie:] Yeah.
[Jane:] He cried. That was years ago!
[Julie:] Yeah that was when you were going to Bill's, the last time I came
[Jane:] Oh that was for... yeah the party
[Julie:] baby-sitting.
[Jane:] it's a... oh yes the Boston, oh yes, the fancy
[Julie:] Yeah.
[Jane:] Yes it was.
[Julie:] party.
[Jane:] Yeah. Sorry. [LAUGHTER] Didn't want to miss it [].
[Julie:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] Miss what?
[Jane:] Nothing.
[Julie:] [LAUGHTER] Oh yeah [].
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... Bill's party. You remember Bill?
[Phillip:] Bill?
[Jane:] Yes.
[Phillip:] Oh the... the Glaswegian optician.
[Julie:] [cough]
[Phillip:] Can't remember anything about his parties worth repeating. They were the same sort of things that I never got invited to again.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Julie:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] Ah! Davey.
[David:] What?
[Phillip:] When Chrissy comes home you go to bed.
[David:] I know, I heard you.
[Phillip:] Oh! Alright!
[Jane:] That's right.
[Phillip:] Sir! Don't stop Julie working.
[David:] No oh.
[Phillip:] [shouting] Ready Jane []? Silly question.
[Julie:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] [yawn]...?
[Julie:] Fortunately.
[Phillip:] That's good!
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Phillip:] Any, anyway you did get your hair done this morning then, yeah? Suit you. [sighing] Tt! Oh []! See Mr last night.
[Julie:] Mm mm. Did you? Oh that's nice.
[Phillip:] Yeah. I don't think the prospect cheers Jane up particularly but... What are you doing?
[Julie:] I don't know that I've even seen that. He gets frustrated when he can't win though.
[Phillip:] Yeah but don't we all. I mean, that isn't just a function of their age
[Julie:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] it's a function of age you er
[Julie:] I know, but it gets him depressed.
[Phillip:] I know, but er, Jane goes through the same, I can't remember things. Oh! I should be able to do this and that but, but it happens. It's just as you get older I think you, you begin to notice it more because your conscious of... your faculties not being there. Anyway, erm... but, but with John he wo he will, he'll get really uptight, he won't erm
[Julie:] I don't even think it.
[Phillip:] Alright? Anything else?
[Julie:] [clears throat]... Are you taking your car? Cos if you are I'll have to move mine.
[Phillip:] We'll take whichever one we can get out quick Julie. Erm, Jane's' ll be... easy.
[Julie:] Mind you, I've erm... far enough forward to be able to get
[Phillip:] Oh! We'll manage.
[Julie:] Will you?
[Phillip:] I'll see. Yeah. I can see the drive. You seen what they've been doing? Putting the new
[Julie:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] in the bottom.
[Julie:] Yeah. I saw the cones.
[Phillip:] Actually they're all er... they are, nearly all of them have been broken so... they've obviously caught up with the list from the. Er er er... okay sunshine? We'll go now. See you ne see you later. Ni-night.
[David:] Bye.
[Phillip:] Bye Julie.
[Julie:] Bye.
[Phillip:] Good luck.
[Julie:] [clears throat]
[Jane:] Right. My handbag's through that
[Phillip:] Turn the tape off.
[Jane:] way, it'll be quicker
[Phillip:] Are you turning the tape off? Ooh! Anything more to do?
[Jane:] No. I don't think so. I'm tired.
[Phillip:] Are you going to... finish off in the kid's room?
[Jane:] Yeah, I'll switch this thing off.... I'll watch the rest of Newsnight in bed I think.
[Phillip:] Right.
[Jane:] Oh! [sigh]... What's this branch for, did you work out?
[Phillip:] Well it looks like it's a... handy for one or something.
[Jane:] Oh! It is isn't it? That's why it's got to be... with the making the bird table I suppose.
[Phillip:] It's obviously.
[Jane:] It'll be about... I think about half past one. But I can find out for definite... later on.
[Susan:] I've got grandma's.
[Jane:] What about another one? It's the only one there is.
[Susan:] What's this?
[Jane:] Hi!
[Janet:] Hi!
[Julie:] Hi!
[Jane:] Oh I didn't want to come back.
[Julie:] No.
[Jane:] I didn't want to come back.
[Julie:] [LAUGHTER] Oh oh you shouldn't have done []. You've got joinery and
[Jane:] I, I haven't. I was told I had to.
[Julie:] Oh!
[Jane:] I was
[Janet:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] had a chance to get my job finished.
[Julie:] You don't take any notice of them do you?
[Janet:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] Yes, well I thought so.
[Julie:] She looks absolutely. Oh!
[Janet:] [LAUGHTER]
[Julie:] Dear. It's lovely isn't it?
[Jane:] Mm.
[Janet:] Had it trimmed, do you feel better?
[Jane:] She's taken quite a lot off actually. And that... it didn't feel it when she was sort of combing it, but now I'm actually doing that I can feel it short.
[Julie:] It's not there.
[Jane:] Mind you, it needed it. It did need it. She said it did.
[Janet:] Oh I need a cut.
[Jane:] So... [LAUGHTER] yeah []. So, I'm thinking oh it's hard, when I actually feel it it feels thicker at the end and it does feel better but... when I've washed it, I shall feel all hairy now all afternoon.
[Janet:] Yes.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] I'm just going to look []. Yeah.
[Julie:] Yeah, that's a really nice trim.
[Jane:] This is it. Mm.
[Janet:] [sighing] Oh yeah, it's lovely [].
[Julie:] I can't bear the tables and chairs at this bottles of wine.
[Jane:] Bottles of wine or... nice cold lager. [LAUGHTER]
[Julie:] Yeah. Alright. Yeah.
[Jane:] I almost envy the unemployed when they're sort of walking along the side the canal and [LAUGHTER] Playing with their grandchildren.
[Julie:] [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] That was.
[Janet:] Is it her grandson?
[Julie:] Aha.
[Janet:] That is.
[Julie:] We had loads of people in last week.
[Janet:] In two and a half days we've had four... men... under
[Jane:] Int it terrible!
[Janet:] Innit sad, isn't it really?
[Jane:] I don't feel sorry for that man who came in on drugs and dropped
[Janet:] Oh no! I didn't tell Julie about that.
[Jane:] and when they were making, making a sign on the door
[Janet:] He had a cigarette in his hand and flicking ash up the carpet and I [LAUGHTER] was looking at him, you know, and I was sort of going, [cough] [] and Jane was sat in here and she said, put that cigarette out! [LAUGHTER]
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER] Cheeky []!
[Janet:] He usually smell, erm the air
[Jane:] And now cigar smoke I quite like. But I, the other day I wondered who it was and it must have been him cos he was in Alan's office. But er... cigarette smoke, I mean you wouldn't think of pu I don't whether it was a strong make or something like that but it was, it seemed really offensive didn't
[Janet:] I know.
[Jane:] it? Mm mm.
[Janet:] He said he was desperate for work.
[Jane:] Yeah. For work. And then he had a real flash car didn't he? [LAUGHTER]
[Janet:] Desperate to get work, he's got a flash car and smoking [LAUGHTER] as well
[Julie:] [LAUGHTER] And smoking []
[Janet:] well I mean that's costly isn't it?
[Jane:] This is it. But what er, I said, told Pete because I had another call when you... were at lunch I think... and erm... he said he'd heard rumours that we were looking for somebody.
[Janet:] Mm mm.
[Jane:] Now whether he'd just said that, or... whether he actually had. Vanessa wants you.
[speaker006:] Well no she doesn't, I've just been talking to her.
[Jane:] Well yeah, Vanessa
[Janet:] And also Gill wants you. Oh! Popular.
[speaker006:] Right, popular, yeah.
[Jane:] Are you do Alan are you doing
[speaker006:] Hang on a minute! Hang on a minute!
[Jane:] Are you going to do erm... a valuation again?
[speaker006:] I've already done it.
[Jane:] In your opinion
[speaker006:] And ask
[Jane:] which one?
[speaker006:] ask Mr. I'm sure he'll be... only too pleased to oblige you.
[Jane:] Okay.
[speaker006:] Is that the only one?
[Jane:] Yeah.
[speaker006:] Yes!
[Phillip:] I'll just move these out
[Jane:] I thought you'd want
[Phillip:] the way.
[Jane:] I thought you'd want to sit round the table.
[Phillip:] No, it's too low. I thought we'd sit on that bench and
[Jane:] I must ring Gwyneth.
[Phillip:] Mm. Ring her up, see if she wants to come down for a drink.
[Jane:] Do come for tea. Should I?
[Phillip:] Yeah. If she's in.
[Jane:] I don't know about her mother. Erm, I wondered if I should ask her if she's going to the chinese tomorrow if she wants to drop in... on the way home.
[Phillip:] A chinese tomorrow?
[Jane:] Yes. And we'll drop in on the way home to watch a few election results or do you think if I start having a party tomorrow night it's gonna get out of hand?
[Phillip:] Well, the only trouble is, she won't be voting the way you are.
[Jane:] I know.
[Phillip:] We
[Jane:] Actually, if she comes and stays I'm gonna have trouble because of, I'll have to get the boys' tea.
[Phillip:] Well, so? She can come round for quarter an hour if she wants.
[Jane:] What time is it?
[Phillip:] About quarter to six. Maybe a bit later.
[Jane:] Quarter to six.... Trouble is, if there isn't anybody in it's bad news isn't it? It means, if she's away two nights
[Phillip:] There's a nail sticking out of here.
[Jane:] Yes I noticed that. It wants... I keep meaning to hammer it in.
[Phillip:] I'll get a hammer.
[Jane:] Oh. Oh dear. Mind you, it's end of term, she's got all the activities going on.... [phonecall starts] Ah hello David, it's Jane. Erm, Gwyneth, is she... what's happened to her mum? We never found out.... Oh no! I've been trying to ring you to find out. Oh dear! And so, where, is Gwyneth back at work or... yes. Yes. Oh dear! Ah! Well I'm very sorry. Erm, well, if you tell her I rang and give her my love. Okay David. Oh right. Oh well, no, I'll probably be out. Anyway, give her my love. Thanks. Bye [phonecall ends]! No she died.
[Phillip:] When?
[Jane:] She died on... Friday? Sa Saturday.
[Phillip:] Saturday? Oh dear.
[Jane:] So, yeah. Sh she
[Phillip:] Surprised we didn't hear.
[Jane:] Well that's why she hasn't been about you see.
[Phillip:] So haven't they had a funeral?
[Jane:] No, the funeral's on Friday.
[Phillip:] Oh! Keeping her.
[Jane:] Oh dear. Oh dear! Erm... so she's actually, she's obviously upset.
[Phillip:] Oh, well, that's understandable. But she's
[Jane:] She can't see
[Phillip:] staying over there with her dad?
[Jane:] Yeah. Well I was just... oh yes. She's, I was, I was gonna put the phone down..
[Phillip:] Poor old David. He won't be used to looking after himself.
[Jane:] Oh he is.
[Phillip:] Is he?
[Jane:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] Not that well.... The sheep tonight.
[Jane:] Mm mm. You know, when she came to visit me when I was... in bed a couple of weeks ago she was asking... erm... how grateful she was to your parents... for
[Phillip:] I know. That's always a sign of.
[Jane:] Oh she didn't say anything. She'll, she'll have the of going up to the to see her father.
[Phillip:] Or end up living
[Jane:] No. I think, she's got brothers over there.
[Phillip:] Yeah, but look at them
[Jane:] What? Oh yeah.
[Phillip:] but they've got their own problems.
[Jane:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] It's a good memory of your dad.
[Jane:] Mm mm. Oh dear. That's sad.
[Phillip:] Apart from that, how d'ya get on with Julie?
[Jane:] Oh fine. Yes, I stopped off at the
[Phillip:] She won't mind. She'll get used to it.... She welcomes a buffer against Janet I think.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... I'm really enjoying this.... If only we hadn't cut down those trees... the view would be better.
[Phillip:] Yeah, oh this is nice being here in the spring with lambs in season.
[Jane:] Oh it just makes it that much.
[David:] Pat 's da... dog, Ben.
[Phillip:] Yeah. Er well, sort of.
[David:] He kept chasing me round David 's garden.
[Jane:] Oh I'm not very pleased to hear that.
[David:] Thought I did something.
[Phillip:] Here are David.
[David:] He grabbed my legs.
[Jane:] Oh no! Oh, hang on David I think we ought to have that jumper off you. Remember? Look at the, look at the heat of him!
[David:] And earlier I had dog's neck.
[Jane:] Have you washed your hands very thoroughly?
[Phillip:] Well, well
[Jane:] I don't like you being round dogs.
[Phillip:] Er erm
[Jane:] Or dogs being round you.
[Phillip:] Chrissy have you got a potato love?
[Christopher:] Oh yes please.
[Phillip:] Here, have a couple.
[Christopher:] I only want one Dad.
[Phillip:] Oh alright. Only have one then.
[Jane:] Let me put those on smaller plate and I'll put that one away.
[Phillip:] Erm... ha Chrissy can I just have a knife and I can cu oh go on half it then I can get this out, I can throw this
[Jane:] Can you just get on out.
[Phillip:] carton away.
[Christopher:] Erm, can I do it or
[Phillip:] Yes, clear that one off. There's a new one, but... erm... Jane, do you want to have cut of bread?
[Jane:] Well I wasn't going to have any bread if we're having potatoes as well. I would, but I... you know, I'm trying to give butter up.
[Phillip:] When it comes to bread I can't
[Christopher:] Resist.
[Phillip:] What do you want, this?
[Jane:] Can I just have some of the new wine please? Cos I
[Phillip:] Yeah. Yeah, sure.
[Jane:] just wasn't sure.
[Phillip:] I didn't think the old stuff was that bad.
[Jane:] Well no, but it wasn't but... I just wanted some
[Phillip:] Perhaps I'm more into vinegar than you are.
[David:] Dad, I've got my new stuff tomorrow.
[Phillip:] Oh yes, sunshine.
[Jane:] Oh yes, I'll, I'll, I've been thinking
[David:] I ha
[Jane:] we haven't told Dad about what's happening tomorrow.
[David:] I ha I have to have a packed lunch.
[Phillip:] Have to have a packed lunch tomorrow? What for? What's the big event?
[David:] the hole. The hole.
[Phillip:] Pardon?
[Jane:] The general election is taking over the school.
[Phillip:] Ah! So you can't have any dinners at school?
[Christopher:] Yes.
[Jane:] No, no, I mean
[David:] Down in the hole.
[Jane:] er we don't have to po er, you see, it's to do with school anyway, but they're giving them a packed lunch so I believe. But where are the new potatoes? Have you got the new potatoes?
[Phillip:] They're here my girl.
[Christopher:] Mum... whe I've been to some before and they've had the erm
[Jane:] Well, shall I put them in the fridge?
[Christopher:] school dinners in different places.
[Jane:] Sorry?
[Christopher:] They've had the school dinners in different places before.
[Jane:] Yes, but probably the school actually is bigger than this, there's more people there than when you were in there and erm, that's probably just too complicated.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Phillip:] Yeah. I'm sure David won't mind sandwiches for a day.
[Jane:] It's quite exciting.
[Christopher:] It won't be that good. They'll just go down
[Jane:] That's enough then.
[Christopher:] first every day.
[Phillip:] Pardon?
[Jane:] Pardon?
[Christopher:] They'll just go down first every day.
[Phillip:] Yeah, well it doesn't matter Chris. Okay Chris, you can try the new one love if you've done that. Let's get this in the bin.
[David:] And that.
[Phillip:] Just erm, now, do you need anything?
[Jane:] No we got so many of them that erm, I'll, I'll
[Phillip:] You don't want that one?
[Jane:] No. You can throw that.
[Phillip:] As long as you're okay on that. Can I sit down now?
[Jane:] Only if I can have a lump of your bread. In fact, maybe you should offer me the plate. Can you pass me the butter? Thank you. I must admit I'm very hungry.
[Phillip:] Well so you should be. Working at the garden.... Like you've had a gardener in.... Can I have it please? Thank you.
[Jane:] Don't worry David, I'll pick it up.... I didn't have a chance to put these out on a dish either.
[Christopher:] [sighing] Oh [].
[Phillip:] You mean, I haven't put it out on a dish?
[Jane:] Okay?
[Phillip:] Chrissy?
[Christopher:] Mm?
[Jane:] Want some turkey?
[Phillip:] Do you want some turkey?
[Christopher:] No thanks.
[Phillip:] Did you David?
[Christopher:] I've got hazelnut and ham haven't I?
[Phillip:] Mm mm...., one of those. And some of that. I didn't wash all... this so there's
[Jane:] Well I must admit
[Phillip:] there's more if you need it.
[Jane:] it tastes better if it's washed and put in that, in that cling film.
[Phillip:] Mhm.
[Jane:] It keeps better than... it's left in the bottom of the fridge.... Has David got some coleslaw? You will eat your coleslaw honey won't you?
[David:] Mhm.
[Phillip:] He's got some but he's not very enthusiastic.
[Jane:] I thought you said you liked it?
[David:] I go off and on it, but
[Jane:] Oh.
[David:] sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't.
[Jane:] Right.
[Phillip:] Ow!
[Jane:] But it, it doesn't keep forever. When did I make it? Saturday. So it wants using.
[Phillip:] I'm doing my best, you know ma
[Jane:] Well, I've made some more since then.
[Phillip:] you know me... and coleslaw. Oh, so I don't have to rush it?
[Jane:] Well, not that. I'd prefer it to go.
[Phillip:] Have you got everything you want kiddies?
[David:] Yeah.
[Jane:] Yes. And a bag of crisps, got the same packet.... Boys, when we next see Gywneth will you be nice and quiet and kind to her, her Mummy's just died?
[Christopher:] Ah ah!
[Jane:] Isn't that sad?
[David:] Mm.
[Christopher:] What of?
[Jane:] Erm... well she's an elderly lady. Erm
[Phillip:] Heart problem wasn't it?
[Jane:] heart problems, that's what I said.
[Christopher:] Mm.
[Jane:] So she's always very nice to you, so make sure you're very nice to her.... She hasn't got children to take her mind [LAUGHTER] off her problems [].
[Phillip:] [yawn]
[David:] Ah, if she had children, it's a pity she doesn't.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] Be nice to be able to play with them.
[Phillip:] There are the, other ways of looking at it Chris. Not that I'd wish to encourage you, but if she had children she wouldn't be so generous to you.
[Jane:] Mm mm.
[Christopher:] No.
[Jane:] [LAUGHTER]... Cos she's very generous.
[Christopher:] Very.
[Jane:] She spends more on you on your birthdays than your grandparents do. So think about that.... Doesn't she? Indeed she does.
[Christopher:] It's still a, it's still a present for her grandma.
[Jane:] Ow! Shouldn't have mentioned grandma!
[Phillip:] Only one of them.
[Christopher:] [clears throat]
[David:] We, we must go there at some stage... to see her.
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] She's in Japan at the moment. We're hoping she'll stay there.
[David:] We'll, well.
[Phillip:] Ha!
[Jane:] Come the end, end of the summer you haven't got a clue. I wonder why?
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[Christopher:] That was quite nice.
[Phillip:] Has Bill got one?
[Jane:] Mm mm! They've all two... except me.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] Can we decide what we are doing this weekend because erm
[Phillip:] You tell me.
[Jane:] Well what's the options? We either stay home or we... stay home or we're going away. If we go away I think it's too early in the year to use the caravan, therefore it means staying at
[Christopher:] Tent.
[Jane:] somebody's. [LAUGHTER] A tent []!
[Phillip:] Mm mm!
[Jane:] [clears throat]... Or there's the tent.
[Phillip:] Is that what you want Chris?
[Jane:] You can, oh you can have, the tent up on the back lawn if you, if you're so bothered about camping. I don't think I want to go in tent this time of year.
[Phillip:] Ring up Ted and Linda and see while they're going over to your mother's we'll go over to Aberystwyth.
[Jane:] Yes. Well they have got
[Phillip:] We'll bo borrow their house.
[Jane:] I used to like, camping's o... okay Christopher, but it's difficult when you've got children.
[Christopher:] Oh.
[Jane:] And when the nights... are that much darker early. When it was just your Dad and I we, we could go out all evening and then, then come back to the tent, but when we've got you two we have to be back in the, we can't go out in the evenings.
[Phillip:] Where's the wine?
[Jane:] On top of the microwave.
[Phillip:] That's where you might expect to find cold wine.... More?
[Jane:] Mm mm. Oh only a bit cos I [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] I've gotta cut David's hair tonight []. I'll cut your ears off.
[Phillip:] Squiggly hair.... Mouth closed please Dave.
[Jane:] So, if we went away it's, it's really only Aberystwyth or... or isn't it?
[Phillip:] Mm mm.
[David:] I, I'd prefer.
[Jane:] Well... cos I think Phil and Lesley are going to grandma's... for Easter... and... they live in, and therefore it depe it depends what Aunty Dulcy's doing. I mean, we could ring her up and ask her. Or shall we just stay at home and go out for days and
[David:] Go to my parties.
[Jane:] Yes, you'd miss the parties if we went away. But I need to know cos I'll do a turkey... if we're staying home.
[Christopher:] Why?
[Jane:] Well
[Phillip:] Well there's York model railway exhibition that weekend but we could still see that and go away.
[Jane:] I've got a Christmas pudding as well, left over from Christmas.
[Phillip:] Mind you, if it costs three pounds a head to get in you'll probably not want to go.
[Jane:] I'll sit outside.
[Phillip:] Ha!
[Christopher:] Children free probably.
[Phillip:] One pound
[Jane:] What about stu
[Phillip:] fifty.
[Jane:] what about student concessions? Do they have student... no?
[Phillip:] Don't
[Jane:] I
[Phillip:] know.
[Jane:] I would have thought so. I mean, they usually do these things, if you flash your student card.
[Phillip:] Pensioners and children, one pound fifty.
[Jane:] Here you are. They do students as well.
[Christopher:] Unless they at school.
[Jane:] I keep forgetting to, well you can, forgetting to use my student card.
[Christopher:] I'm not student.
[Jane:] Well you are really aren't you? But, when they mean student they mean people who are over eighteen or nineteen.
[David:] Mum.
[Jane:] Mm?
[David:] And Dad.
[Christopher:] Well Dad, Dad's a bi Dad's a student.
[Phillip:] I'm nearer a pensioner.
[Jane:] Yeah, just a.
[David:] Dad.
[Phillip:] Yes love?
[David:] Can I have some... a drink of li milk, milk?
[Phillip:] Pardon?
[David:] Milk. Can I have a drop of milk please... pardon? [LAUGHTER]
[Christopher:] Er pardon.
[Phillip:] If you'd have said please David I
[David:] The opposite to please. Thank you.
[Phillip:] What is the opposite to please.
[Christopher:] It's a
[David:] I, thank you of course.
[Jane:] Yes, that will be thank you is the right
[Phillip:] No.
[Jane:] thing.
[Phillip:] I dunno.
[David:] Erm... Em's crispy.
[Jane:] Who's Em?
[David:] The
[Phillip:] That ruddy dog he keeps on about!... Throw him in the pond.
[Christopher:] Got Ribena?
[David:] No oh oh oh!
[Phillip:] You want Ribena do you Chris?
[David:] Dad! You're not allowed to... to talk like that to people's dog. And especially dogs we know.
[Jane:] I'm surprised the boys let it run their garden.
[David:] What... well it was David... David's idea, don't blame me.
[Jane:] I said to Julie... the office was quiet. She said that was a nice day [LAUGHTER] they've all gone out [].
[Phillip:] Yeah.... Says who?
[Christopher:] Says who? On patrol. They do. Must be, some of the girls lay down.
[Jane:] That, well, ask Daddy not me.
[Christopher:] Can I have one of my mini chocolate orange things?
[Jane:] Well it can wait till after we've finished and yes you ca cer certainly can.
[David:] And me?
[Jane:] I must make the Easter chocolate nest cake mustn't I?
[Phillip:] You why he's racing?
[Jane:] What's he racing for? Eh! You want to get your violins done? Are you racing?
[Christopher:] I want to disturb David.
[Jane:] Well I don't think he will either.
[Christopher:] Well
[David:] [humming]
[Phillip:] Course you can?
[Christopher:] Can David come up now?
[Jane:] Well can't we let David come round here when he's ready?
[David:] No!
[Christopher:] No, we'll
[David:] Yeah but
[Christopher:] we'd thought out, we'd go out together when er we'd finished our tea and we... I had my tea.
[Jane:] Well I'm cutting David's hair tonight, I don't want... want you late to bed.... And I'll do
[Phillip:] Anyway Chris, on the grounds that... what do you want to have?
[Christopher:] Chocolate orange.
[Phillip:] Well go and fetch one for yourself, you can eat it and then you can go.
[Christopher:] Thank you.
[David:] Then I can have one.
[Phillip:] Yes. You can.
[Christopher:] Mum, I don't want any pudding.
[Phillip:] You can have what you want Dave. Alright?
[Jane:] There's some Scotch pancakes and hot cross buns as well.
[Phillip:] And have another big?
[Christopher:] Can you come and cut it please mum?
[Jane:] Well, come to think of it, no.
[Phillip:] Sorry?
[Jane:] There you go.
[Christopher:] Please can you cut it for me please?
[David:] Wow ee!
[Phillip:] No I didn't, I didn't realize that's what it was.
[Jane:] Well put it on a plate, get a knife and, over there and neatly, neatly
[Phillip:] Over here Chris, on the board.
[Jane:] do it. No here.
[David:] After you go
[Phillip:] I thought it was just that. Would you like to help me with one slice?
[Jane:] Now I've got myself all in a muddle I must admit.
[David:] Chris, it's, it's the same one, just big. It's a really big one.
[Christopher:] Oh good! Can I throw all that?
[Jane:] No.
[Phillip:] Don't be silly.
[David:] No, no. It's a, it's only a
[Jane:] Alright.
[David:] it's only
[Jane:] Alright.
[David:] a giant
[Jane:] Pipe down!
[Christopher:] It's twice the size. We've both got butter cream instead of er
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] I haven't been baking
[Phillip:] How much?
[Jane:] so I thought I'd buy you
[Phillip:] That?
[Christopher:] Yes please.
[Jane:] Don't get used to it will you?
[Phillip:] Same plate?
[Christopher:] No. Yes please.
[Phillip:] Did you get your plate?
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Phillip:] Go get your plate. Come on. That's what mum said! Pickle.
[Christopher:] Dad I didn't have cream on mine.
[Jane:] Oh no!
[Phillip:] Hold on.
[Jane:] I'll have your,tha yo jacket potato's clean so I'll have those as well,, but you can eat a bit more. Can you eat your meat and some more coleslaw?
[David:] I can't eat the coleslaw. Mum, I can't
[Phillip:] Chrissy! Go back to your place, please!
[David:] I can't eat my coleslaw.
[Phillip:] I don't mind you trying to get out, but... you don't go... messing around like that.
[Christopher:] That's better.
[Phillip:] Leave it where it is.
[Christopher:] I'll get a plate.
[Jane:] This kitchen looks like a bomb's hit it.
[Phillip:] Mm mm! Always does when I get things ready.
[Jane:] Yes, I know.
[David:] Dad, can I cut a piece of that please Dad?
[Jane:] Wouldn't you rather have a hot cross bun?
[David:] No thanks.
[Phillip:] Too late. It's cut.
[Jane:] You'll drink your... orange juice
[Christopher:] Mm
[Jane:] you.
[Christopher:] mm.
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] He will.... Yes alright, I know you want to go. Wash your hands, wash round your mouth and go.
[Jane:] And go to the toilet.
[Christopher:] Drink that first.
[Phillip:] Yeah. Alright. Erm
[Christopher:] Yes?
[Phillip:] It's five past seven, I want you home for twenty to eight.
[Christopher:] Okay.
[Jane:] It's turning cold, don't you think you ought to put a jacket on?
[Christopher:] I was gonna change.
[Jane:] Is that nice?
[David:] Yes.
[Phillip:] He's now doing his Charlie Chaplin or Hitler impersonations.
[Jane:] You must admit it was erm... I was thinking more of erm... was it Laurel or was it Hardy? The one that the little
[Phillip:] Mm.
[Jane:] moustache.
[Phillip:] Oliver Hardy wasn't it?
[Jane:] Mm mm. Tha that's more what, the er sticking up hair does it.
[Phillip:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] The fat one who, in the blue coat.
[Jane:] Yes it's the fat one.
[David:] Who's always bossy?
[Jane:] Mm.
[Phillip:] Mm mm!
[Jane:] I don't know which one that
[David:] Erm, saying you've me into another mess.
[Jane:] No they haven't got that in for a little while. That's, but they never show the originals.
[Phillip:] Erm...
[David:] No,we... Laurel and Hardy died.
[Phillip:] Mhm mm.
[Jane:] Mm.... [LAUGHTER]... Ought to get the like this.
[David:] But Mum.
[Jane:] Yes?
[David:] There's still the person who looks
[Christopher:] Bye!
[Phillip:] Bye Chris.
[David:] there is a person who looks like... Oliver Hardy.
[Jane:] Mm mm..
[Phillip:] About that?
[Jane:] I'll have a little to start with, thank you.
[Phillip:] Mhm. Whatever you want.
[David:] Are we going to build Fab One?
[Christopher:] [whistling]
[Jane:] No.... We couldn't now. We haven't got enough bits... have we?
[Christopher:] [humming]
[David:] That's Rolls Royce i that Rolls Royce is er... is the only one which can shoot in the world. In the... super nation thing.
[Christopher:] [humming]
[David:] Chris. There's two cars... who... di did you know
[Jane:] Chris.
[David:] that there's a race?
[Christopher:] Just, just be quiet just for ten seconds!... I know that could be impossible for you. [humming]
[David:] Right. I've done it.
[Christopher:] Mm. Haven't done those?
[David:] I have.
[Christopher:] Can't you even just be quiet for about nine seconds?
[David:] Be quiet, just one, two, three, four, five, six
[Christopher:] Too fast.
[David:] seven, eight, nine, ten.
[Christopher:] [humming]
[David:] Too slow you know.
[Christopher:] [humming]
[David:] After all I th... I thought went to er
[Christopher:] A girl?
[David:] Aha. A girlie.
[Christopher:] They are.
[David:] But Michael Jackson, or, whoever it is that
[Christopher:] Strange woman, urgh! She's an absolute hideous
[David:] Yes.
[Christopher:] most of the time.
[David:] Yeah.... Michael Jackson!
[Christopher:] Most of the time, I won't say all of the time, but most of the time.
[David:] Yes, most of the time. Is that for me? That's what, that's what... he was made for.
[Christopher:] An idiot!
[Jane:] Chrissy, right, does your ca your T-shirt want washing?
[Christopher:] Which one? Er, no thanks I haven't worn it.
[Jane:] I'm trying to sort out if, if there's already one
[Christopher:] Er er... no.
[Jane:] actually, if you've put it away it's clean then.
[Christopher:] [humming]
[David:] Chris. You know some bad especially
[Christopher:] Pretend that's got a pod in it. I must make some.
[David:] Chris. Chris.
[Christopher:] [humming]
[David:] Chris. You know something, er you know something here? Things which take the booster blaster in bo special containers... well that, well those are those containers.
[Christopher:] [humming]... And that's Thunderbird Four.
[Jane:] Chris, are you wearing the green pumps at school for P E?
[Christopher:] No,we we have to do it in bare feet.
[Jane:] Yeah, but do you wear them for anything?
[Christopher:] No.
[Jane:] Well those are the ones that Matthew... we shouldn't have bought you new trainers when you'd got these. I'd forgotten about these. Why didn't you bring them home?
[David:] [humming]
[Christopher:] I'd forgotten about them.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] Tt! Oh! Twenty six quid Chrissy and you've still got these to use up.
[David:] [humming]
[Jane:] Never mind. You're enjoying the new ones aren't you?
[Christopher:] These are
[Jane:] Are your new
[Christopher:] comfortable.
[Jane:] ones more comfortable?
[Christopher:] Mm. Yes. Mhm.
[Jane:] Yes they are? I think perhaps... for the holidays then.
[David:] [sniff]
[Jane:] ... Did you say these used to rub your toes when you went a long way in them?
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Jane:] Oh. Yes. You're probably better with your Nike for long distance. For your
[Christopher:] Yeah.
[Jane:] long distance walking, you know, in the holidays.
[Christopher:] Okay. Shall I try our Thunderbird? We haven't made Thunderbird Five though. This is Thunderbird Four David.
[David:] Yeah.
[Christopher:] Right, come on. Let's go!