[Richard:] Hey up, I got some
[Keith:] Some what?
[Richard:] we had five pounds worth
[Keith:] Did ya?
[Richard:] went into saw a mate of mine
[Keith:] Oh alright
[Richard:] he says how many do you want? I says two or three so he give us three
[speaker004:] Oh
[Keith:] how much this is like confession you know save you going to church on a Sunday
[Richard:] This is true...
[Keith:] Is that where you got to now?
[Richard:] Don't look at me I didn't order them
[Keith:] What is it?
[Richard:] I'm not complaining mister, yeah he double
[Keith:] mm
[Richard:] Spoke to las yesterday, yesterday evening
[Keith:] Yeah
[speaker004:] Got some more here
[Richard:] Got more?
[speaker004:] Yeah
[Richard:] Did you gather
[speaker004:] all spelt differently
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] These
[speaker004:] Oh got two the same
[Richard:] these are on the just trying to contract me down
[Keith:] Yeah I expect to drive him
[Richard:] Yeah
[Keith:] got to go back and sort out any more problems we've got, that's where I'm going now... erm
[Richard:] Why have you got more problems?
[Keith:] get a complete list of complaints of them
[Richard:] I thought that you got that already
[Keith:] Well I got Rhys says I've got to do it proper and then into Chelmsford do, do
[Richard:] wasting his time, thank you, ta, he's wasting his time
[Keith:] He was, got smacked and told him
[Richard:] I believe it they've got, they've got so many local companies
[Keith:] Yeah
[Richard:] you know board, even Daleys in Leicester
[Keith:] Yeah
[Richard:] and they go and drag somebody up in
[Keith:] Yeah
[Richard:] and he says to them, the thing is when it goes wrong
[Keith:] You're stuck
[Richard:] well you've got a three hour drive to go and put it right
[Keith:] Yes...
[Richard:] you know... you just that's it, another thing is
[Keith:] I don't think to ask, cos you hear from the way they were talking they were buying it...
[Richard:] I don't know, but er
[Keith:] they've got themselves stuck on the nine o'clock appointment
[Richard:] Who's that?
[Keith:] Ropers, they don't know, well they know I'm coming in some time today, but they don't know when
[Richard:] Yeah
[Keith:] so it's
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Richard:] Crazy absolutely crazy
[Keith:] Yeah well I
[Richard:] If this is where I
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER] you know what I've been trying to get hold of a couple of one of these... you know the phones, the phones that Donald's got
[Richard:] Oh not the, I thought you meant yeah
[Keith:] Yeah
[Richard:] what for yourself?
[Keith:] Yeah
[Richard:] I don't like it
[Keith:] Don't you?
[Richard:] I don't, no
[Keith:] Certainly faster than the I've got
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]... I dunno erm, no I don't like them at all it's in fact I'm not even impressed with it I mean you look at the people with G six hundred and you look at the fifty six and they're not a
[Keith:] Fifty six hundred?
[Richard:] No... oh you think well that's not an executive phone that's just er a phone with a couple of buttons on it
[Keith:] Yeah
[Richard:] well you know what the six hundreds are don't ya?
[Keith:] No
[Richard:] That's the white one with the, with the green L E D display it's got the calculator on it... no, that's the fifty six hundred, the same model as O S D T
[Keith:] Yeah
[Richard:] the erm, the six hundred has got a separate power supply... little black eighteen volt car looks like a mark two executive station, instead of being L C D it's L E D display, green L E D Rider's got one, you know as you walk in
[Keith:] Oh yeah, the
[Richard:] on the right
[Keith:] Oh that thing
[Richard:] Yeah, did you like them? They're one of the best we've ever done, I tell you what
[Keith:] You know there's quite a few about, I've seen them, you know
[Richard:] Mm
[Keith:] must of taken about ten years to make
[Richard:] Eh? its external goes in the back... far superb
[Keith:] Yeah well, I put the paperwork in there and I
[Richard:] well I always keep it in the box so I don't get mixed up then, I don't start calling the mark three key board
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER]
[Richard:] I wonder why it doesn't work Bruising quite well innit?
[Keith:] Yes... [LAUGHTER] your neighbours could do with a lesson in parking
[Richard:] Oh... this one or that one?
[Keith:] Well I think it's Gary... I mean he's left a gap there's room for just about a car either side of him
[Richard:] Yeah, oh I know... I've said time and time again to them if you park up a bit, you know... that house his driveway that he put up and er he just about misses where the tree was, but he's chopped all the tree down so he can have his grass, I dunno, well even if it meant just supporting the piece of something above his car so he don't get any sap on it or ought
[Keith:] Yeah well that's a point yeah there's something I didn't thought of that...
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ......
[Richard:] It gets me how people drive a car sometimes with a to look through oh yeah
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] Well, well see how it goes, but erm... I don't, the thing is you see they can teach you so much about laying different bonds and making patterns and doing portholes and things like that, that'll be handy to know, but obviously you're not gonna learn that until much later on
[Terence:] Mm, what about arches with a keystone?
[Keith:] Yeah they'll probably teach you that, yeah more than likely, yeah, you'd of touch the chimney flue, part of it, but the trouble is the qualifications have fall beyond of what I want to do anyway and considering it's gonna cost a couple of grand to get it
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] it's not worth it because I'm not gonna sort of get myself into a position where I'm only likely, where in other words get a job as a bricklayer
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] so it's really not worth getting qualifications on reflection so... I want to do a bit of work you see, build myself a reputation that sort of thing
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] and then do the odd wall, that's fine yeah, I'm tempted to go around now looking at brickwork now
[Terence:] Mm
[Keith:] getting ideas
[Terence:] Mm
[Keith:] and probably incorporate one or two, can't do that on the garage though cos it won't, it's gonna be out of character
[Terence:] Mm, yeah, but er...
[Keith:] the, Russ' erm, done, well he's already got a wall, just make it a bit bigger, an existing wall just taking it around the back so gonna do that in the summer I'll erm, well in the spring, yeah gives er a bit, a bit of a practice
[Terence:] Mm... what's Russell like any good?
[Keith:] Yeah, he's quicker than I am, but he don't seem to be as accurate
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] you know, by the time I've got about three bricks down, he's two he's not as accurate as I am, no, but what I do I, I point mine up as well
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] cos that way it gives me a bit more incentive, it gives me an idea of how it's looking
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] whereas Russ just throws it together and don't bother pointing it, and to me that is incentive, I mean you don't do it when you build it I know you don't, when you're earning, it's a bit of er, a mark, a guide to how you do it.... And er, certainly take advantage of the half price
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] thing, for twenty four quid for a hundred and eight weeks, you've got, you've got to take that, think it's coming on and learning, got the thing in there, start to progress it might get you, it's gonna get to the point where he says right, you know you've got them just about to sort of labour it's, you know, accurately with a fair amount of speed now we'll start sort of now being a bit adventurous, gonna get a lot more interesting.... You sees like cutting, you know you see these walls that are like that and they sort of go down like that and join a pillar and do the same again, just, instead of doing that you lay the soldiers across the top and you, you've got to sort of cut the bricks in between ain't ya?
[Terence:] Mm
[Keith:] Cutting bricks is another fault of Russ, it's all commonsense actually if you think about it, I mean actually we've drove round at night looking at people's walls and things like that and some were absolutely appalling, they've obviously paid money to have that done, [cough] so you, you, you can see it don't have to be absolutely perfect
[Terence:] Mm
[Keith:] although I'm, that'll only do for me
[Terence:] Yeah, these floors are impossible to
[Keith:] yeah, he's had his drive took across his back you know that there mm
[Terence:] They do it individual don't they?
[Keith:] Mm yeah, there's one good there but, erm what they do, is they do it in concrete you know, but they can make it look like bricks
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] they colour the concrete
[Terence:] Oh dear
[Keith:] and they, they put the concrete down, then they get this thing to put on it and it, it sort of moulds it
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] it just textures it like
[Terence:] Mm
[Keith:] looks like bricks, another one they can make it look like welsh slate and things like that
[Terence:] Christ
[Keith:] Yeah... yeah it's quite er... What are those audio monitors?
[Terence:] Monitor audio yeah
[Keith:] Monitor audi
[Terence:] Yeah it's sort of an L in shape of a O we've got
[Keith:] Oh yeah
[Terence:] oh
[Keith:] did ya?
[Terence:] Yeah, what I like about, what I liked about them was that they were dead flat like, you know if you, imagine it a sweet the weight for a sweet were from say ten ounces to twenty kilos
[Keith:] Yeah
[Terence:] you have some speakers if you, if you do a run like that you'll hit a pitch were it resonate with the speaker
[Keith:] Yeah
[Terence:] I mean most speakers have got resonate point, some, most of them are quite low
[Keith:] Yeah
[Terence:] but these, there are nothing, you know, there is no intonation at all
[Keith:] Yeah
[Terence:] it was just everything that you heard was
[Keith:] As it should be
[Terence:] Yeah like crisp you know
[Keith:] Yeah
[Terence:] Yeah, I mean I don't know how powerful they were that, I mean he weren't, he weren't belting on those but there was, he was playing loud enough to appreciate with its own you know
[Keith:] Yeah
[Terence:] oh it went really well, how much does it cost?
[Keith:] He was on about something about
[Terence:] apparently monitors for some reason the most monitor cost, monitor class speakers
[Keith:] Yeah
[Terence:] but they're infinite in there er
[Keith:] Yeah I've heard that
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] Yeah
[Terence:] that's what he was saying as long as you don't... what was he saying? Some it you have to do
[Keith:] I think one rule that you have to follow and as long as you follow that particular rule then they can handle infinite amount of power, don't make sense to me
[Terence:] No...
[Keith:] cos there are some direct drive aren't they, you know a lot of them passed a couple don't they there's a
[Terence:] Mm
[Keith:] an output stage
[Terence:] Mm
[Keith:] and a really big I think it goes through that way, but, I think these are direct drive, but it's actually a straight piece in you know
[Terence:] Is it?
[Keith:] Yeah, straight into the back of the speaker so you can actually make the speaker do what you want like
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] to within reason like
[Terence:] Yeah, so the amp has to be match, match it then? Or do you have to, have som
[Keith:] You might, yeah, the trouble is it's gotta match down to be exact or
[Terence:] Mm, is his amp like that?
[Keith:] Yeah, his amp's got, yeah his amp was built for this particular type of er, I can't remember what bloody amp he's got now... there were no, no particularly flash like, you know, er, er, they were saying something to do with clipping, I think it's to do with clipping they saying the power up, the power point's alright as long as you don't... clip, because what happens is if the wave forms doing that
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] you gain er an R M S with power
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] but if you, if you actually clipping
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] the speaker's actually being pushed by the amp and staying out
[Terence:] Mm
[Keith:] you're practically burning the coil out so it's just a dri, a straight forward plattening
[Terence:] Mm
[Keith:] it can't handle any more so you got a, a playing into the coil and it's not doing anything so it's just, just in you know
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] I think that's the point what he's making... and that's what actually you know does the lamp damage that [sniff] mm...
[Terence:] Do you speak good for what they are?
[Keith:] Yeah they are
[Terence:] To say erm
[Keith:] that's what bothers me about it you ain't
[Terence:] You just ain't got the power though
[Keith:] Well the thing is to buy summat like it you know, you, you can spend a lot of bloody money just to try and improve
[Terence:] That's right
[Keith:] them, you know
[Terence:] that's right, well the thing is these are, I was looking at the power today I, er not read it properly in the past, there only four rounds, these have got to be A, if you want both A and B on
[Keith:] Yeah
[Terence:] you've got to have A tons
[Keith:] Yeah
[Terence:] if you have, cos what, what happens is if you put A and B it erm... it parallels them off, so if you've got two sets of four amps it's in two rows
[Keith:] Oh yeah
[Terence:] so it's no good cos it's four to A zones, you can run four providing you only have that channel...
[Keith:] Can't say that
[Terence:] I suppose you could, but it's got A and B outputs you see
[Keith:] Yeah
[Terence:] but it says here nominal input twenty five watts R M S... here it says maximum what forty watts yeah, but that's a hundred... I mean you can tell, I've tried it, it is, I, I ain't even had it half way and it's, you can tell it's overdriving them
[Keith:] Yeah
[Terence:] is that a four to eight, O drive as well, does it say four to eight games?
[Keith:] It does, it's hundred watts, yeah it says you can use anything between four and eight Os
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] but if you want them both, if you want both A and B on you've got to have a
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] but er it's measure hundred, hundred watts R M S into eight Os
[Terence:] So it's...
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Terence:] Does he want fruit juice?
[Keith:] No he won't
[Terence:] yeah
[Keith:] What do you think to the board game on the back?
[Michael:] Oh, I thought it quite witty actually, yeah
[Keith:] Miracle Squares... I think there's a lot of thought gone into it you know, it can't be easy to re er to, to just dream up a game... erm, I like the one about you go to the last supper and the waiter spills soup on your trousers, the waiter, ha [LAUGHTER]... tell you else about the Marx brothers an'all, the waiter is er the king of Snowdonia and it's Groucho Marx, the, they've got this massive hall, and er... these big steps leading down into it you know and as, as they're coming in there's somebody at the top and Ann says who's, who's walking in and they walk down the stairs you know and Mr and Mrs and the king has you know... and he says oh the king Snowdonia is about to arrive, he should be here any minute now, he should be here dead on this time you know, he gets these big fanfare trumpets up da, da, da, da, the king of Snowdonia, and there's nothing and all of a sudden it flashes to Groucho Marx and then he's in bed with and, and they do it about four or five times, you know, the king of Snowdonia, welcome to see and all the bugles going you know all of a sudden he appears in the middle of the picture he says oh I've come through the back door
[Michael:] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah... don't know how many films they made do you?
[Michael:] No, they used to have a very good thing didn't they at weekends for
[Keith:] Did they?
[Michael:] Yeah a few years ago
[Keith:] They usually have them at erm Christmas time don't they, usually have a couple of Marx Brothers' films on
[Michael:] Yeah...
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] Say you can buy them films if you want
[Michael:] Yeah I, I, looking what it says in erm, rather than take the load
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] cos they're not, they're not, get round to it otherwise... erm, I'm hoping they do you know how long it lasts?
[Keith:] A couple of hours
[Michael:] Does it?
[Keith:] Mm... Dave Allen's on that as well the only bit, I think I've set it for the Beast Master ain't I?
[Michael:] Yeah
[Keith:] Yeah well when... right at the beginning of the tape is Dave Allen, but that's adult
[Michael:] Yeah
[Keith:] so, don't let the kids watch that.
[Michael:] Yeah...
[Keith:] Do you like him?
[Michael:] Sometimes yeah
[Keith:] Mm...
[Michael:] Only now and again though
[Keith:] Mm...
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] Oh dear
[Michael:] What's the time then?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] Still got the timesheets to do yet...
[Michael:] I've got a load of paperwork to do tomorrow
[Keith:] Have ya? what actually paper or the
[Michael:] Bills er, customer bills
[Keith:] Oh
[Michael:] sort out which bits are you know
[Keith:] Mm, I've only got one charge me this week, you don't seem to get many now
[Michael:] Oh
[Keith:] I just have one connect, connect to programme, programme one, ha only get all these programmes for some reason, somebody allowed for it when they put the system in, mind you still have to check it I suppose but checked through it, tested it, took me about five minutes, still a minimum charge of an hour
[Michael:] try and include the customers into as much as possible
[Keith:] Mm
[Michael:] I'm giving er a reduced rate for a while, so if anything goes wrong we foot the bill
[Keith:] Oh yeah
[Michael:] say like we're moving some equipment from one place to another
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] we do all the disconnect cable and
[Keith:] yeah
[Michael:] check it out for them and they want a quote, say it takes two blokes an hour each
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] quote them a couple of hours, we drop the normal rate, you know by say thirty percent to start
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] and wrap it up into a package and say you know if anything goes wrong and it takes four hours then you
[Keith:] the same, yeah, cos if, didn't the Co-Op move or something?
[Michael:] Oh yeah they did er
[Keith:] And they fell flat on their face didn't they?
[Michael:] Yeah, they did a move like
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] it cost them a bomb that did...
[Keith:] Well we went to a solicitor's office, what was it Friday morning? Thursday morning? Friday morning? And erm... they'd moved the kit, got the electricians to do it and it took, it took three fuses when they did it, I mean the extensions fused on that particular system, the data pairs fused
[Michael:] Mm
[Keith:] and er they had to call us in, well Dick went out and er I think it was actually two separate visits so they must of, cos they're refurbishing the place you see so they must of moved into one office and thought oh you know this don't work, move into another office the day after, well this don't work either and he, he actually did two separate visits, whether they'll actually bill them for it I don't know [cough], but I mean it's a minimum of an hour in both cases so
[Michael:] Mm
[Keith:] you know two calls, two hours
[Michael:] Mm... I dunno what we get asked to do you know, I mean in some cases we can handle everything like pulling out bloody cables after other receive in that kind of thing
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] Oh I had one bloody customer see if I can quote him to a complete relocate, it was only a bloody er systems, probably no taller than that speaker
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] but it's like a P C a bit
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] like a flat P C but a power system one
[Keith:] Oh them sitting on the desk?
[Michael:] Yeah
[Keith:] Mm
[Michael:] be like, be a bit lonely you know something like that, that kind of line
[Keith:] Mm
[Michael:] that width wanted it relocated with all the cabling and that, you know er to the terminals
[Keith:] Yeah in the same building?
[Michael:] No to another site
[Keith:] Mm
[Michael:] this is why it's you know
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] I says if we do it for you it'll cost you a fortune, he said
[Keith:] yeah
[Michael:] cos a lot of it's bloody play by ear you know the contract's
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] put together
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] if, they can't, they've got this system when they can key it in you know and comes up with a price, but it's that bloody strip
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] you're better off just putting a bloody
[Keith:] mm mm
[Michael:] Now is the time for the engineering man that is it... yeah
[Keith:] So you, it, he got you to move it in the end?
[Michael:] Yeah I didn't do it in myself like, but we did, we did end, end up with yeah.
[Keith:] I went to some er, what was it, estate agents erm Alan Orwood on King Street, I says to them er, what was it, want an extra extension put in who do you go to? I says well where did you get the system from? Communications, I said well you can either go to them or you can got to, we'll do it for ya, so it's really up to you, he says well who's the cheapest? I says well I don't know to be honest, I says I don't deal with them, but we were talking about Mercury these cross-routing got one of these systems here
[Michael:] Mm
[Keith:] and then I said have you got, are these cross-routing it? He says no, he says we've thought about it, I says well you really ought to have it I says if you're dial dialling a lot of erm, cos they dial a lot of these insurance companies and er mortgage lenders, the head offices, they're always out in Ottingham, I said the Mercury pin number only cost you seven pound fifty a year, I says you think you can save that in a week... so er... ha... so erm he was on about it, he says who's the cheapest for that? I says well we, we put erm a mailshot out for four hundred and ninety nine pound, cos the software and all the re-programming involved, I says Ford Communications followed it up, you know, they put a mailshot out for two hundred and ninety nine pound all in, oh he says I think I'd rather prefer G P T to them
[Michael:] Mm
[Keith:] which is erm now I'm dealing all the same company, maintenance and everything
[Michael:] Mm
[Keith:] so er we've got to hang on to it
[Michael:] Mm... surprising how, especially the, the bigger companies as well they tend to want to do things
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] Yeah, it's only a small estate agent
[Michael:] Yeah... it's, it's surprising how many companies want to like leave that side of things to un
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] one company may handle the lot from
[Keith:] that's it, yeah, yeah
[Michael:] There's a lot of money to be made in that if you want little bits of, put things here and there that you can different
[Keith:] mm... yeah I
[Michael:] even if he puts the cable in, did replace put the cable in then?
[Keith:] No we subcontract it
[Michael:] Oh yeah
[Keith:] we've got two subcontractors that we get in touch with, they just do it and then bill owes and then we uplift it
[Michael:] Yeah... but effectively the customers are only dealing with plastic of
[Keith:] Mm
[Michael:] Yeah for their own in installation like
[Keith:] Yeah that's right yeah
[Michael:] Yeah probably as we don't add any real value when we did little jobs like the cabling you know
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] they come to us and all we've done is uplifting and gone bloody subcontracting
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] whereas other bigger sites we do all the planning and everything you know
[Keith:] Mm
[Michael:] so we actually add some value to it
[Keith:] Well we do that, we do that, we, we know
[Michael:] Yeah
[Keith:] exactly what we've got, erm
[Michael:] Yeah
[Keith:] how many clients we've got, you know for updating, what the capacities are and plus er we don't know erm what sort of cable we've got in so they might have only a ten P a cable when they already have nine pairs in use
[Michael:] Yeah
[Keith:] and they want two extra extensions you see in a certain area, we obviously don't know that
[Michael:] Mm
[Keith:] only the contractors do and even they only know when they go on site so, but we, we sort of say you do this, you do that and then we contract to who can do it, there's some of them by er usually
[Michael:] mm...
[Keith:] I think for er even for upgrades we er the contracts do it sometimes which to me's wrong cos they aren't engineers
[Michael:] Mm...
[Keith:] But what er... what... what needles me a bit, but you can't blame them cos I, if I was er... a small communications firm I'd do the same myself, but, you see we won't sell now small systems through a sell we do it through a dealership, like if you want a Cortin if you want a Sierra you've got to go to Cowlers or something you can't go to Ford
[Michael:] Mm
[Keith:] for it, they won't sell it ya, it's the same as us, we won't sell direct
[Michael:] Mm
[Keith:] so these businesses they buy from you know... erm communications company, a local company or Nottingham Telephones or something like that
[Michael:] Mm
[Keith:] and, erm... what they tend to do once it's gone in they'll say if there's anything you need, if you get any problems on the system or there's anything you want he says get in touch with us, he says and if necessary we'll get in touch with and we'll sort it out ourselves and what they do, if a customer says oh there's a phone that's broke, or it's not working or something like that, they'll say oh okay we'll get in touch with the maintenance for you, you see, cos he's making nowt out of it, if you say we dropped the phone and broke it, well we'll send a and then they send an engin one of their blokes out with a replacement phone and charge him for a new one, once they say wants some re-programming doing, oh yeah were sending an engineer round and they get, the dealer then gets the money for it so all we get is the flack end of it... you know so we, a service contract it's priced because, low because you know you're gonna make a bit on moves and changes
[Michael:] Mm
[Keith:] and that sort of thing, you know re-programming and upgrade, but we don't get that now because the er, the dealers are filtering all that sort of work off
[Michael:] Mm...
[Keith:] which it can't be right cos, I suppose in a way it's none of our business but it is I mean if it [sniff] gets to it, it puts our company in financial difficulties it means it's jobs on the line int it that sort of thing
[Michael:] Mm
[Keith:] that's why we've got to start cutting back... there's no money for wage rises and that sort of thing so... what they are doing [sniff] you see, an authorized dealer, well even a non-authorized dealer get hold of a piece of kit and then somebody say want this system, right okay, and they just have a big load of forms for maintenance agreements and all they do the dealer'll go along and put this kit in, B T'll come along and say yeah that conforms to regulations, sign here, the customer er sign here, the dealer send the maintenance agreement to us, we signed it, send it back, we've never even seen it, then we turn up and find that the main control unit's high up in the attic or in a damp cellar, in a cupboard where you can't see it, there's no light and stuff like that and we're taking jobs on like that and it you know, it's just impossible to work on them
[Michael:] Mm
[Keith:] you see, but B T are not interested in that, all they're interested in is that the wiring's, you know that the boards are
[Michael:] Mm
[Keith:] the series that they should be, but we do pre-maintenance inspections now
[Michael:] Mm...
[Keith:] and, cos I said to the dealers for a long time you know don't put them under stairs, don't put them in store rooms, they get locked, locked up with vacuum cleaners and you can't get to the gear when you go to them, don't put them high up on the wall we can't reach them and they just laugh, but er, I think the last laugh's on us now cos er if I see one high up on the wall, I say well that, I say we're not accepting that, you have to move it
[Michael:] Mm...
[Keith:] what you doing you daft cat?...
[Michael:] What a life
[Keith:] Eh?
[Michael:] What a life eh?
[Keith:] I know, woke up this morning she was, she was obviously cold, cat was right under the covers, snuggled right up to me and got her, her chin on me arm like that, I was asleep... Justifying Nation, did you like that? Good innit?
[Michael:] Mm, mm... like that one that's quite good
[Keith:] What's that?
[Michael:] A new one where he got up a
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] Roger's got Transmission Vamp erm Velveting
[Michael:] Yeah, yeah
[Keith:] that's good
[Michael:] Yes
[Keith:] C D
[Michael:] Where? Erm West Park Leisure Centre
[Keith:] Oh
[Michael:] It's a bit in the Midlands sort of
[Keith:] What Wendy James was she?
[Michael:] Mm, she stop the bloody ha, stop the traffic when she used to walk in you know
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michael:] Everybody but you was looking at her out the window, incredible she really was
[Keith:] Yeah, very short int she though Wendy James
[Michael:] Is she? Oh I dunno
[Keith:] Oh yeah, she's only about four foot ten
[Michael:] Oh I didn't know, didn't know that
[Keith:] Mm right midget
[Michael:] Oh
[Keith:] Yeah...
[Michael:] Oh she's quite bright though ain't she?
[Keith:] Yeah
[Michael:] Really
[Keith:] She's no thicko is she?... I like them, I like erm Transmission Vamp
[Michael:] Yeah
[Keith:] Crashers one of my favourites too... your the only one as well
[Michael:] Yeah
[Keith:] Rich er Russ played that yesterday, I played it through that on his C D, put it through his Leek speakers, brilliant
[Michael:] Mm...
[Keith:] I used to like a lot of that stuff you know the New Wave the erm
[Michael:] Yeah
[Keith:] The Stranglers er something...
[Michael:] Do you want some more fruit juice?
[Keith:] No
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] Did you read that proper that bit?
[Michael:] Yeah most of it like, yeah you see if there's any
[Keith:] what
[Michael:] Young Bailey
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah critics... did you see that?
[Michael:] Eh?
[Keith:] The critics?
[Michael:] Not under that one no
[Keith:] where they didn't like the Christmas, not the modern parents where they, they wouldn't let them have a Christmas tree, the erm [sniff] the critics is was erm... oh what was that about? We saw it on telly and the er what was it Crispen or er Crispen something typical vegetarian names and she was criticizing the television Top Of The Pops and how they could do better you know and they got an art
[Michael:] Oh I remember you saying yeah
[Keith:] it'd cost you about a hundred thousand quid and by the time they've done it, it's exactly the same as what the other one was.... They're not tending to play Bohemian Rhapsody on the er radio so much are they as er
[Michael:] No
[Keith:] The Days Of Our Lives, they tend to play that a bit more
[Michael:] Yeah they need to
[Keith:] I've never heard that you know... until, until it was, this round, since it last come out... must be out of touch in me old age
[Michael:] Probably, perhaps you don't notice it so much do you, but something, something like that breaks the tension on it don't it I suppose
[Keith:] Yeah if you don't, if you don't like it you probably just put it to the back of your mind then
[Michael:] Yeah
[Keith:] dismiss it something... [LAUGHTER] Yeah [], yeah, what's the other one? It uncle Vern, big Vern something? yeah, he's all, all erm... he's on the front cover ain't he, I'm not spending my Christmas in joking he's, he's thinking the law's after him all the time
[Michael:] [LAUGHTER] He's always wanting to top himself as well isn't he?
[Keith:] Yeah eh? [LAUGHTER]
[Michael:] Completely useless isn't he?
[Keith:] Which one's that?
[Michael:] It's the spook of Brassnick isn't it out of Dandy is it? Was it the Dandy? Sparky was it? That bloody one
[Keith:] No the cos Brassnick was the one with the square head and the cap weren't he?
[Michael:] Yeah, I didn't think there was a children's one
[Keith:] I think cos we used to have them on a trolley, yeah... mm, I wonder if that is the same that I, I think next time I get a Whizz I'll erm, I'll look cos there's a Zit comic as well
[Michael:] Yeah
[Keith:] I'll have a look and see if it's the same publishers, cos it looks the same kind of format, but then again it probably would be cos it's aimed at the same market
[Michael:] Yeah
[Keith:] so they're probably trying to muscle into the er that niche you see, but er... brown bottle... you find the critics?
[Michael:] No I ain't read this
[Keith:] Ain't ya?
[Michael:] no I've not read that
[Keith:] Take it until you've read it
[Michael:] No [LAUGHTER] you're alright, it's...
[Keith:] [reading] Keep the cheapskates parade [] they've got inflatable sheep and all sorts for set up here [LAUGHTER]... oh it's still number one then
[Michael:] Yeah...
[Keith:] What you looking at there?
[Michael:] No it's er pair of tits on the front on the tree
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER] On the tree house [] yeah, yeah, what's that one called?
[Michael:] Leafy Woods, The House in Leafy Woods
[Keith:] That's it, yeah... what was the one er, the out of date Christmas puddings, did you read that one as well? It's about four pages long that one
[Michael:] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] where at the end, you don't, you know, you expect it's haunted to be a real you know, she says oh no screw that we've got the market by the bollocks [LAUGHTER]
[Michael:] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER] the vicar Adolf Hitler
[Michael:] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] they've been playing loads of, out of date Christmas puddings
[Michael:] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] I don't know... but the artwork's very good ain't it?
[Michael:] Yeah
[Keith:] You know the ideas there I think [sniff]
[Michael:] [reading] The men's best buy in Leafy Woods when Frank taught the children many of natures wonderful secrets []
[Keith:] Ha
[Michael:] [reading] what about these done, is it safe to eat these? No Jack, cos you see these are rocks [] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michael:] Oh dear...
[Keith:] A modern parent sitting there with a polo neck jumper on
[Michael:] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] loads of big teeth
[Michael:] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER]... Play all the record after er Queen aren't they?... What's that? This is funny number one, probably Queen's not number one any more then
[Michael:] I don't know...
[Keith:] put the radio on and find out Something about Kwiksave not being in these supermarkets
[Joseph:] Yeah
[Eileen:] Yeah I've always said Kwiksave are the best
[Keith:] Well, bloody hell only nineteen pence cheaper out of a bo basketful
[Eileen:] Eh?
[Keith:] Only nineteen pence cheaper out of a basketful, everybody else is only pennies over
[Joseph:] Oh yeah
[Keith:] It's still cheaper
[Joseph:] we notice the joints of beef in Tesco gone up by a few quid
[Keith:] Is what?
[Joseph:] gone up by a few quid from six pound odd to eight pound odd
[Keith:] Oh, it says here the basic necessities the things you buy have er have actually gone up, or they've hardly moved at all.... [music] that amp's good
[Joseph:] Is it?
[Keith:] Mm... yeah I like that... So when they picking his car up then?
[Eileen:] Tonight I think
[Keith:] Yeah?
[Joseph:] I was going to ring him up tonight... gonna ring him up after the
[Keith:] So which one's having it?
[Joseph:] Well the first one's already had the first chance
[Keith:] Mm
[Joseph:] I'm gonna tell him there'll be no fetch it'll go to the tomorrow night the other one
[Keith:] Mm... mm, you've done well then to get that one I'm bloody sure I wouldn't of paid it... no way, er, thing is though you see when you first look at it, it don't look a bad car, but when you start studying it closely you start to see just exactly what problems it's got with it [cough] did you point out the faults on it then?
[Joseph:] Think he told him that's why it won't
[Keith:] did he tell him about the hole in the wing then? And the head gasket that had gone?
[Joseph:] Said it, the bloke at the garage said they've changed the oil and that now he said it ain't bloody leaking...
[Keith:] You don't get all that water from nowhere... who choose the oil? The bloke at the garage?
[Joseph:] Terry did it
[Keith:] I know Terry changed it, yeah
[Joseph:] but it's not
[Keith:] well it ain't run far enough has it? Really... I reckon there's something wrong, convinced of it, oh it runs alright once it's moving... it's just such an awkward driver that's all... I was glad to get out of the thing I was... did knock the bloody er whatsit down, buses knock the er gate way down to the embankment, were jogging down there tonight, I'll have a look at it... mm... on about it Flogged it
[Kathleen:] No, none of them
[Keith:] yeah
[Kathleen:] the lad with the Porsche offered three thousand with four brand new tyres on it and a year's M O T, that's what he offered when the when it was done
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] and the other one never got back, he said he'd ring up to eleven o'clock last night, half past ten
[Keith:] Ain't you rang him?
[Kathleen:] Oh no, cos it er
[Keith:] you'll took that three grand
[Kathleen:] Pardon?
[Keith:] You ought to have took that three grand
[Kathleen:] Yeah, but that three grand the bloke changed his mind
[Keith:] I thought you said the three grand as it stood without the M O T and anything
[Kathleen:] The lad rang and offered Terry three thousand pounds
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] and his dad came with him
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] and said he wanted an M O T on it, so his dad offered but he scrubbed his did, he wouldn't let him do it
[Keith:] Oh
[Kathleen:] he wanted an M O T, so Terry M O, he get four brand new tyres on
[Keith:] Yeah and then say I don't want it
[Kathleen:] Yeah, they, it was them who got us to M O T it
[Keith:] What you ought to do was to said to him give me a deposit...
[Kathleen:] Mm
[Keith:] give me a deposit on it, I get it M O T'd if you change your bloody mind too bad
[Kathleen:] That's right
[Keith:] you can pay for the M O T
[Kathleen:] Yeah, that was like in good faith really weren't it, it's M O T
[Keith:] So what's happened now then has he changed his mind then? Has he told you he don't want it?
[Kathleen:] Well I quoted the three thousand as it stood, and, but Wayne won't, Wayne won't take that, in fact Wayne says on the phone didn't he tell him to thought he wanted an M O T and
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] three thousand, the thing is it's got four brand new tyres
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] twelve months' M O T just to what to pay what the lad had offered it
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] for it
[Keith:] that's how you get Porsches innit?
[Kathleen:] Yeah
[Keith:] no ta
[Kathleen:] But the other one didn't get back to me
[Keith:] Apparently said
[Kathleen:] said he was gonna ring me last night and he's had plenty of time to ring tonight
[Keith:] Mm
[Kathleen:] so he's not bothered either
[Keith:] No
[Kathleen:] That surprised me cos they both were keen when
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] they were looking over it
[Keith:] We see if anything happens really
[Kathleen:] The thing is
[Keith:] Cool down
[Kathleen:] the thing is, he saw it without an M O T and that lad wanted it, as soon as you've got it M O T'd he don't want it
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] but he wanted it as well
[Keith:] they do waste your bloody time they're
[Kathleen:] I'm going to put
[Keith:] I tell you what that's the worse thing about cars, getting rid of them
[Kathleen:] erm I'm going to put in the paper again Friday, Saturday and then Wayne's gonna have to borrow it, it's his problem it's not mine, he's gonna have to sort it out
[Keith:] Mm
[Kathleen:] if he's gonna borrow the money and get it
[Terence:] The only good thing are at least his tyres
[Keith:] Yeah
[Terence:] if it's or something like that
[Keith:] that's right
[Terence:] then I can, I wanted
[Keith:] he wanted four tyres?
[Terence:] Four, every one, mind you I knew there was
[Keith:] Borderline
[Terence:] I mean each one was borderline yeah
[Keith:] Oh
[Terence:] yeah I mean one point six millimetres something like
[Keith:] Oh that's right
[Kathleen:] A hundred and ninety three quid for four tyres
[Keith:] It is, yeah
[Terence:] I know they're all some
[Keith:] How much?
[Kathleen:] A hundred and ninety three quid
[Terence:] Mm
[Kathleen:] It'll pay, it'll pay Wayne to keep it now until he comes back and
[Keith:] Yeah probably so yeah, and at this time of year they're fetching so ridiculous in low money anyway, probably better off in the summer when the lads want to go out, out and about, well they're not bothered now nobody wants to go anywhere do they?... So erm
[Terence:] He might go and get a loan put it in the bloody garage and forget it ain't he?
[Kathleen:] Yeah... it's er I take the car back half term, if, you know, I don't mind driving it down there, but the thing is how am I gonna get back if I drive it down, it's gonna cost me forty pound fifty
[Keith:] Well wait until he's gonna come one weekend and you go down there and then come back together, oh why then again you're wasting your bloody, ha
[Kathleen:] He's going away next week
[Keith:] Is he? Oh dear
[Kathleen:] that's why he's selling it, he's going away for seven
[Keith:] why? Why not sell it?
[Kathleen:] No, but said it
[Keith:] oh
[Kathleen:] and then our dad lent you that three thousand when you moved in
[Keith:] he didn't lend me three thousand quid, he cut it off the will
[Kathleen:] It don't matter to me, I'm not bothered, it's just, it's just me and you should have this, look, it's his money, I'm not bothered, I've not
[Keith:] well you know if I, I said is it gonna cause any problems when he did it, cos it was er, it was er, to me
[Kathleen:] Not with you
[Keith:] No
[Kathleen:] not with you
[Keith:] No, but it was a loan to me and I said to my dad he was loaning it me and I said to him erm... I pay you back and then when I went to pick the cheque up er he says er well me mum says he giving you that you know he says what we're gonna do is when, when they write the will out you'll get that much less than the others, I says well as long as it ain't gonna cause any problems
[Kathleen:] Not with me I'm sure it's not you know
[Keith:] and he says no I, I reckon I had a word with our Margaret she said no it don't matter, but if that's gonna be the case I'd rather give it to him back, I mean I've got it
[Kathleen:] Mm... she she says it should be you three, me three and
[Keith:] well I don't believe that, well
[Kathleen:] and
[Keith:] I'll give it to him back then
[Kathleen:] Oh don't say anything
[Keith:] I've got the money in the bank, I might as well
[Kathleen:] not after all
[Keith:] give it to him
[Kathleen:] not after all this time, he's probably calmed down now, but er if, if our mum and dad give me anything she takes the hump, but mum and dad can give Margaret anything and it does not bother me
[Keith:] Funny, a bit like that
[Kathleen:] I couldn't, I couldn't care less honestly
[Keith:] Well she always used to say, why you don't say anything, but she always used to say to, she'd never come down to the house, I mean I don't think she's been to my house, house five times
[Kathleen:] She don't
[Keith:] it does my house, in fact it come the other day when Kerry had to pick a battery up and I walked out the front with Kerry and he sat in the car and didn't even look at me
[Kathleen:] Yeah
[Keith:] yet when you go round to the house he's sociable enough
[Kathleen:] She bought me at my didn't come in, I cannot be doing with that
[Keith:] I don't think she's been five times to my house in all the time I've lived there, now in the early days er... she said that when it, hang on, she said she'd never come down cos she didn't like er
[Kathleen:] Mm
[Keith:] I thought well that's fair comment cos there's people's houses I'd stay away from cos I don't like the wives, so I mean, you know, that's, I don't go round, but the thing is she's been gone about what three year now, four year or something or however long it is... why don't she come now?
[Kathleen:] Perhaps our Marg she's just that way
[Keith:] oh it don't bloody matter to me
[Kathleen:] A apart from that
[Keith:] she can stay away she can come, come round
[Kathleen:] apart from that
[Keith:] she can take her choice
[Kathleen:] that would upset me mum and dad, I don't want, they're too old to be upset
[Keith:] What?
[Kathleen:] you know perhaps she's mellowed now, I mean the last time she went on with it, about it, was probably over a year ago, but she's still going on about it definitely a year ago not just
[Keith:] What to mum and dad or to you?
[Kathleen:] er she's on, I think she said something earlier, well she told me she said something to mum and dad earlier on
[Keith:] But she hadn't?
[Kathleen:] I don't know if she'd not
[Keith:] Liar
[Kathleen:] but she said I want, no, Keith had three thousand we ought to have it and erm, I said it's mum and dad's money it's got nothing to do with you, you've got kids, we've had that money and erm, you know, they spend it on the six of them pocket money for sixteen years it all of them have left school now
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] that's just how Margaret, she's just that way, it used to hurt me at one time, but I, I don't hurt easily
[Keith:] You know roughly I'm, I'm, I'm myself so much, that erm nothing bothers me, everything just rides straight across me back
[Kathleen:] I used to, there's one of the women I work with used is a shout and she used to upset me and
[Keith:] mm
[Kathleen:] Not that she saw me teased, but even now I can give her back you know
[Keith:] Mm
[Kathleen:] and I don't stand any nonsense from anybody, but erm
[Keith:] Mm
[Kathleen:] as far as me mum and dad are concerned I'm, I try and protect them
[Keith:] Mm
[Kathleen:] I, just erm, I'm on now this year to have me mum and dad cos she never had them at Christmas and I thought it's not fair, you know, she's the
[Keith:] Right
[Kathleen:] me mum and dad'll feel it
[Keith:] Yeah... oh don't, I reckon it was June who got up there
[Kathleen:] Do you?
[Keith:] Yeah, I've never been the same since I was there you know
[Kathleen:] Are you?
[Keith:] No, no it's hard I erm... I always vowed I'd never let erm, never let anything get to me like that again
[Kathleen:] Mm
[Keith:] you know, cos I was in desperation then, but, nobody, I mean I just, I just don't bother, I don't let things bother me it's as simple as that
[Kathleen:] It's not good building
[Keith:] no that's right, yeah, I mean, I, I've said it, I don't care, but er I've said in the past that er, I think some of the reason me and Ann split up was, I mean she always used to say I never treated her right and all things like that, I did you know, and I do care for her, but a lot of the things was I never showed it because erm if anything bothered me I never know it showed and it didn't bloody bother me because I'd resolved myself after Julie that I'd never let anything bother me again
[Kathleen:] Mm... well you have to put your defences down, but not all women are like that
[Keith:] Oh I know they're not
[Kathleen:] like them two, erm
[Keith:] No, well I've meet quite a few since and they're alright, they come and they go, but, I don't know [cough]...
[Kathleen:] That Ann probably be alright now, but that's how she should ever so
[Keith:] yeah
[Kathleen:] Used to let them at me mum leave er my kids that she made of hers, yet she, me mum never treated them all the same
[Keith:] if that, if anybody would see that it'd be somebody in neutral position, like me, and as far as I'm concerned treat them all the same
[Kathleen:] Mm, mm
[Keith:] and they treat us all the same an'all...
[Kathleen:] but she's, she's terrible, she's got a good point you see you got to let them stop, but it's just, she's got an extremely jealous nature
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] and, er I always say that I am so grateful I am not, because I've seen what it's done and our Marg with Val her sister, we've both got sisters who are extremely jealous you've seen them, you've seen jealously eat away at them
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] and I say that I am so grateful that
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] that I'm not jealous yet and both of them
[Keith:] Yeah I'm the same
[Kathleen:] have got more than me
[Keith:] Yeah... well that's it...
[Kathleen:] I know I've got a detached house and Marg's got a semi, but Marg lives in much more erm
[Keith:] Con financial comfort
[Kathleen:] appreciate their lives that
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] you know we've erm, we've chosen to have the erm
[Keith:] Material side
[Kathleen:] property
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] Well not really material just got better taste than me
[Keith:] Why is she what's better about her house than yours?
[Kathleen:] Well it always looks beautiful anyway
[Keith:] Well that's only cos, why is it?
[Kathleen:] So you think
[Keith:] Yeah, but so is this
[Kathleen:] Fucking all secondhand
[Keith:] ah, but the only bloody reason it's secondhand is cos it's the, that's the style you want
[Kathleen:] Mm
[Keith:] that's why
[Kathleen:] I'm happy with this style
[Keith:] it's the style you want
[Kathleen:] Yeah I'm happy with it
[Keith:] you can't get new stuff, you can't go out and get something new like that, to that quality
[Kathleen:] Mm, I'm happy with it
[Keith:] Mm
[Kathleen:] not
[Keith:] I... well I'm on about doing some stuff I am cos I can't get, can't find what I want, build my own... yeah
[Kathleen:] We've had, we've had the video repaired and up to date, one hour's work
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] no, no parts thirty quid
[Keith:] You're joking
[Terence:] I'm gonna ring up to that tomorrow
[Keith:] Is it got service
[Kathleen:] actually it was thirty five but five of it was
[Terence:] one hour, thirty pounds and I took it to them
[Keith:] You took it to them?
[Terence:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] Wonder if they've charged ya for er
[Keith:] Well we charge fifty pound an hour you know
[Kathleen:] Oh do you?... Is service
[Keith:] I don't know er
[Kathleen:] well probably gone to the best place maybe it's right
[Keith:] Well that's right, yes
[Kathleen:] Well Terry said it was because, we took this, we took that, we took, taken a place on Pranting Street and it still don't work
[Keith:] Yeah, it
[Kathleen:] yeah, so we said next time we have anything we'll take it to across the
[Keith:] So what was wrong with it then?
[Kathleen:] The cassette kept getting stuck
[Keith:] It's only the belt usually
[Kathleen:] It says on wind it up
[Keith:] Wind it up have they?
[Terence:] re-line cam gear and flat gears on cassette housing, red, idol and cleaned up...
[Kathleen:] I think the speed up
[Keith:] Such delicate things
[Terence:] Oh they are, much
[Keith:] you can't bloody see what's happening can you?
[Terence:] Oh it's a no
[Kathleen:] I say thirty, we've had that either eight or nine years I can't re I can't remember which, that's cost us thirty five quid in eight or nine years
[Keith:] Can't grumble
[Terence:] No
[Kathleen:] I said if we had a maintenance on it, maintenance was thirty odd quid a year, over eight years it would of cost us two hundred and forty pound
[Keith:] Oh yeah these maintenance contracts are the lowest, I mean I took one out on my mum's C D player because they'd, they'd had trouble with it, er multi play, turns out it was the stack one they had trouble with not that one, but it was only thirty quid for four years I mean
[Kathleen:] Well that
[Keith:] Yeah, well I bought, I got the C D cheap enough, you know when I bought them that mini unit, that went just after a year, that bloody thing when it packed up, do you remember it was playing in night, in the middle of the night and my dad got up and said what pratt's playing music, it's his own [LAUGHTER] ha
[Kathleen:] That was lightning weren't it then?
[Keith:] Well I do it probably was actually but it was the switch that had gone, maybe lightning had hopped across the switch, yeah, but erm, that's all it was it was the switch, but er, I mean the thing is it went wrong and they had to pay for it, okay it's only a tenner to have it done, but it, if a C D player, I mean if the carriage goes, you know, sixty, seventy quid, you know I'm buying these electrical things, it's, because it's a burg lock, I can buy them, get them a warranty with it an'all, then it's took the burden off them.
[Kathleen:] My dad's pleased with the compact disc, erm, my dad appreciates a good sound don't he?
[Keith:] Yeah
[Kathleen:] Really pleased
[Keith:] appreciates a good sound and puts that bloody crap on, ha
[Kathleen:] What's he put on?
[Keith:] Oh I don't know that stuff with, er I dunno, Acker Bilke or [LAUGHTER]
[Kathleen:] Mm
[Keith:] When I first got it in the I was a bit, well it don't sound too hard, bit down hard, but then again they were in a rush, I said there's your present and I gave it to them, and they unwrapped it and me mum says oh come on we'll be late for the club, cos they were getting free drinks at the pub, oh she, she didn't even want to look at it, I said oh, and she looked at it
[Kathleen:] To see
[Keith:] and er me dad says ooh it's a video recorder and he, I says no it isn't, he says it is, it's a video recorder, I says it isn't dad, I said Christ I bloody bought it I says have another look, he says what is it? I said it's a compact disc player, mum says oh that's nice, she says what do they do? And I said, I said pour us a tea, oh she says we'll be late for the pub, I thought oh sodding hell
[Terence:] Yeah
[Keith:] so I says alright put it down
[Kathleen:] She don't think and as you get, you get older they get worse
[Keith:] Mm
[Kathleen:] erm, don't, they just don't think cos our kids you know they'll have money erm, say they had money and bought them presents
[Keith:] Mm
[Kathleen:] and I think the lads they used to get them some chocolates or something, she says oh more chocolates I've got loads of them
[Keith:] I know I bought
[Kathleen:] Do you know it's
[Keith:] and it what not since she's been owed
[Kathleen:] They, they still remember that
[Keith:] Oh aye
[Kathleen:] and they, that was when they were kids and they still remember it
[Keith:] It's not cos she's it, cos she's like that you know I bought her summat, when ours were not, not very old, I didn't know what to get her and I bought her an ornament, she says oh I wish people'd stop buying me ornaments I've got too many, has to dust round them I thought you'll get sod all next year
[Kathleen:] I've had that, yeah and that
[Keith:] you'll get bugger all
[Kathleen:] yeah, I think our Julie bought her some talc, she said everybody's bought me talc and that, and our Julie said this year she don't know what to get grandma cos whatever I get her she says she don't want it
[Keith:] She moans about it I know
[Kathleen:] and that's, that's just it really she don't think does she?
[Keith:] No, she bloody ought to after the first couple of dozen times, but anyway, when they come back and we got back at night and we started playing them and putting things on er you know they got to like it
[Kathleen:] Yeah, that's it, my dad said it's a lovely, well it is
[Keith:] That's right I wish I could get another one, it, I can't get one of them
[Kathleen:] Oh
[Keith:] same, the same as that, cos the idea was get two the same and I've got one contract, ha
[Kathleen:] Mm
[Keith:] I've thought guaran two machines you're guaranteed for four years then, cos they didn't write the serial number down, so if I got two machines and it goes faulty I just send it back and say this machine's faulty, they don't know how many I've got
[Kathleen:] Mm.
[Dave:] Morning young man
[Keith:] Morning
[Dave:] How are you?
[Keith:] Alright, have you got it? how long?
[Dave:] Five minutes
[Keith:] Yeah, we've been to oh you've found it...
[Dave:] You say sometimes it comes on on line three?
[Keith:] Line three, yeah... no, not on this one
[Dave:] So you've got
[Keith:] yeah
[Dave:] goes onto there
[Keith:] Aha yeah
[Dave:] The first thing to do is change the erm change the cos that, well I tell you what I think the first thing to do is do a system reset if that doesn't change the display decoder
[Keith:] I think
[Dave:] if that, yeah, if that don't work escalate it, because it's a loan problem, you've done everything you can then
[Keith:] What about C P U?
[Dave:] Change the C P U?... Bloody hell, mm, well I'd escalate it because it's a known problem, they might come, turn back and say change the C P U.
[Keith:] Well you know what you can do
[Dave:] They're not they're not gonna do anything about it
[Keith:] They're gonna ask if you've changed it
[Dave:] Yeah they will yeah, well you can have a word with them first, you've got to have a word with them before you escalate any way
[Keith:] Yeah
[Dave:] but I, I think that's the erm...
[Keith:] but I mean
[Dave:] that's the answer
[Keith:] I, shouldn't I, that decoder's got to... er...
[Dave:] It's got to be told something before it does it yeah
[Keith:] Yeah, you'll, you'll hear that actually come in, if you disconnect one of those legs, if you disconnect that blue wire... on there and then cease the intercom and put it back down again you know the relay clicking... you'll hear it come in and go back out again, there you go...
[Dave:] So the twenty four volts is here permanent
[Keith:] Oh yeah... yeah... yeah... I say reset the system, do a system reset and then see how it goes, it's all, it, it er it's the main problem them, and there's no cure for it. We've spent months of shelving and then in the end he just says oh sod it, just took it out for an eight one six then.
[Dave:] There is one other cure [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] What's that take the bell off?
[Dave:] What can you, I don't know if you ever, ever came across any of these er the mark two that want an extension and I think it would project a producing stuff
[Keith:] Mm
[Dave:] and it was er
[Keith:] Oh acoustics
[Dave:] Yeah, that would cure the bastard, cos it would only ring when this rang
[Keith:] It would also ring if you pull a page out. What was it an amplifier with a speak on it?
[Dave:] It's a little acoustic er coupler type
[Keith:] What does it do sense a sound and then ring
[Dave:] Yeah
[Keith:] ring a bell or does it actually pour out of a speaker what comes out of a speaker?
[Dave:] No it rings a bell
[Keith:] Does it?
[Dave:] Yeah
[Keith:] So if I call a paging call out and a paging call comes out it's gonna ring the bloody bell
[Dave:] Not necessarily...
[Keith:] I don't particularly want to get involved in anything like that
[Dave:] Yeah
[Keith:] but I tell you what you know the mark two, have you ever displayed a coder and it rings, rings the bell when the intercom rings, rings the bell if the trunk's designed to ring and all that, you know when you get the, you put a call on hold and it comes back and it goes brr, brr, brr, the bell starts going ding, ding, ding, a right noise and apparently that's standard in the system... I think that was a bit of an oversight to be honest with you...
[Dave:] So the, it's not worth changing the data and the
[Keith:] Not data to the
[Dave:] no I mean change the data to the phone...
[Keith:] No I tell you it's wasting my time it's a known problem
[Dave:] Say is there something on the data
[Keith:] well whenever I've had this
[Dave:] Clear this rubbish up
[Keith:] Well you know the one at erm... the environmental
[Dave:] Mm
[Keith:] the erm... the displayed decoded it's actually mounted next to the kit and all we'll do is take twenty four volts out, volts out, they'll take the, take the data off the kit itself and then just bring twenty four volts out...
[Dave:] Yeah
[Keith:] you know, maybe cos the signal's stronger now I don't know, but that's the way to do it there, well you've got to bring twenty four volts out anyway
[Dave:] Oh yeah I'll get
[Keith:] you can take it here or you can take it there, it's just that the, the displayed decoder is safer
[Dave:] Mm, but what I can't weigh up is there's nothing wrong together in the first place found the twenty four volts
[Keith:] Where is that?
[Dave:] Across there through that gap
[Keith:] The very, the very strays are where the wire goes, if you look at the drawing there a bit er, it actually comes in and out you know, one, one of them is actually the same, it actually just comes in and loops in and goes out again and you may find that you're actually on the same potential there, could be low potential and difference between the two... that's all you need
[Dave:] Something there... there... there it's them two, it looks like it could be them, with them round together
[Keith:] Yeah, that's right
[Dave:] So weird
[Keith:] Oh very weird, yeah, I
[Dave:] preferred I mean... there must be some more, how many more lines are there, look, hang on then
[Keith:] Well
[Dave:] there you are
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] end of the bloody wires are causing that then is there?
[Keith:] Why?... They say
[Dave:] Say, say that is the bell
[Keith:] Yeah... mm...
[Dave:] and they're your data
[Keith:] mm
[Dave:] they're not paralleled off
[Keith:] Oh
[Dave:] they're not paralleled off
[Keith:] It's a weird way of doing things, it's extremely, it's, it's weird, if you look at the drawing
[Dave:] I don't even need to look at the drawing for this
[Keith:] it's only six well to have to see take the bloody thing off
[Dave:] Oh shut up moaning we've got, aha I'm going down to er Wellingborough in the next
[Keith:] Wellingborough? Why what you gonna say? Your going to Wellingborough that's a bloody turn up for the books isn't it? I upset George the other day
[Dave:] Why?
[Keith:] He says well I, we were on about sort of and he says bring it up at the next meeting, I says I says what meeting's that? He says, the next regional meeting it's being held in Neesden he says you can go to that one can't ya? I says no I can't, he says it's not very far, I said it's not the distance that bothers me it's the fact that you want us to sit there till eleven o'clock at night and not get paid for it, he says yeah but if you want to say something, I says I'd say something if I thought we'd be backed on it, but we're not, oh I'm not going anywhere to be if I'm not being paid I'm not getting involved...
[Dave:] I didn't know Dick was er... Bob, moving, er Dick 's is it?
[Keith:] Yeah, cos he covers Derby, he lives in Calverton, he comes through Nottingham to get to Derby, I live in Nottingham and I just do Nottingham, I'm nearer to Derby than what he is, near as door bell, I think it's the way they've laid it out though
[Dave:] Well they're trying to send
[Keith:] it is
[Dave:] they're trying to send me on
[Keith:] on that what? well why don't you go?
[Dave:] That's not on my patch like
[Keith:] It's my patch, suit me here
[Dave:] Well I did make
[Keith:] do what [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] company here never heard of it
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER] yeah well it did didn't it when the weather's like that...
[Dave:] There we are
[Keith:] if you're gonna do that, I'll tell ya if you switch it off and switch it back on again if, if it's the problem I think it is it'll cure it, if it's... which I don't think it is, it's the other one that's incurable
[Dave:] Incurable
[Keith:] It's incurable... the reason I say it's incurable the system's too
[Dave:] Eh?
[Keith:] The reason I say it's, it's, the system's too old to go back to the Japs and say get this sorted out, rewrite the software because they're just gonna say not likely we haven't made it for ten years, or whatever... seven or eight years or whatever it is, it's out of date, they're not gonna start working on the system that's that old... all they'll want to do is to sell you a new one
[Dave:] Yeah
[Keith:] that's what we'll do [LAUGHTER] are they overhead them cables? They're not are the oh they are, the end there bloody hell... no I don't think it's in there, it's just description stuff, sizes and what have you... maybe on the right section there, it's the one where you might wire the L J Us up as well, that's section, ah I think it is, that's it the one with the M B F to what's that?
[Dave:] Station socket
[Keith:] Right
[Dave:] box...
[Keith:] extension belt... there it is next page... there you go... hear that mate, it just goes in there look, and that, oh hang on a minute no it don't that goes to the bell, through the bell, back out again... and then... er
[Dave:] Come out through the bell, back through the bell on to there and back to there
[Keith:] That's right through this big that's right, so you'll probably only just seeing
[Dave:] Yeah
[Keith:] circuitry there and then there's your, your data which you, you do parallel off
[Dave:] Yeah
[Keith:] like a yellow and that just says ring, ring, ring that brings the lane and it just does that, that's that belt, all it's doing is taking it through them relay contacts
[Dave:] Yeah... mm I see
[Keith:] which is why you don't see a voltage at the same leg really
[Dave:] Yeah... fucking weird though innit why it should suddenly start pulling like that
[Keith:] That's the way they are, have, have you any extension, extensions put in? Tell you what it could be, ah hang on a minute, I ordered an extension for a bloody for a phone for that office, it could be the phone that's doing it in that office there... I know, I know... it could be corrupting, you know on the mark one the big one, the old generation mark one
[Dave:] It's been going on for months
[Keith:] Has it?
[Dave:] Two or three months
[Keith:] Oh two or three months
[Dave:] Yeah, but it's got worse and worse
[Keith:] Oh right, yeah
[Dave:] and he said it's got worse since he got the new switchboard operator, which makes you think
[Keith:] She's probably putting calls, she ain't cos we've tried it over there, you pressed intercom, put it down, it, it does that
[Dave:] Shouldn't do that should it?
[Keith:] No, I tell ya, there's about four in the company started doing it altogether, oh this is about the fourth one I think... why that's what third told me I was talking to Brian day before yesterday, second line, he says there's loads of them doing it and it can't be cured...
[Dave:] Well all we can do then is reset innit?
[Keith:] Yeah, let's do a system reset and
[Dave:] you sure you put everything back together that end first
[Keith:] Very careful, we'll do that when we get over there, ha...
[Dave:] Let me get me glasses
[Keith:] it looks more like the Selby's one than the erm, than the environmental
[Dave:] Oh, I mean
[Keith:] cos the main environmental was er, it did it on its own, with a completely empty switchboard, no calls on five o'clock at night, everybody had gone home and the bloody thing would just sit ringing, ringing, ringing, ringing and erm
[Dave:] I know this is only when the switchboard's busy
[Keith:] Yeah, well you know this, this Selby's one that was the same, when the switchboard was busy it would er, if you, if you sees line three and played it down, well if anybody sees line three and played it down it used to do that or if you sees the intercom that did it, says it's more like the Selby's one than the new one
[Dave:] Well I
[Keith:] and that was incurable well that was only there
[Dave:] If you see line three on...
[Keith:] You got the key?
[Dave:] You've got it
[Keith:] I ain't got the key... I ain't got the key you had it
[Dave:] You put it in your pocket
[Keith:] I didn't... you've got it
[Dave:] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] Right then, what you got there for?
[Dave:] better tell them first
[Keith:] You tell them... can we just switch the phones off for a couple of minutes, no, no calls on are they? Cheers, okay Dave... give it a good thirty second bet you've got a screwdriver over there ain't ya? Got to put this one back together while we're waiting...
[Dave:] Oh
[Keith:] What you got after this then, d'ya know?
[Dave:] Dunno mm
[Keith:] That one of Selby's you know it was fine until they put an extension in just er a key station as soon as they did that this one started acting up, so he said it's only since we did that, he said it happened the day after we put that in, I said okay, disconnected it, still did it, disconnected it at the, end here, still did it, erased it from the program so it didn't even know it existed, still did it yeah, I, er
[Dave:] wait for the light to come back up
[Keith:] have you connected it? Yeah, even connected it on the end here, the, the station and set this display decoder up and it even did it there so it was nothing to do with the live lamp wire, the way they routed it we thought that perhaps rerouted it to the cable or something like that
[Dave:] Yeah
[Keith:] nothing... went round and unplugged every phone out, wedged every one out cos we thought it might of been a station that's going down, cos er I'm saying about the mark one, the old two sixty, if you've got a bad phone it used to drag the paging down for all others, where if you've got paint in the socket
[Dave:] Yeah
[Keith:] or a bit of mould in one of the sockets it used to click all the phones when anybody made a call and er, all, all sorts of things that, I would of thought ah there's a faulty phone somewhere and it's degenerating and er we went round and waste every single one out, every single one, went to this extension pressed line three, play it down and the phone rang, I thought right it's not a phone, I changed the cabinet, I changed all the cards and the cards in one big one, I had one three so it weren't interacting between the two, everything had changed and it still did it, were a new kit, got a cabinet of setting line, changed it and it still did it.
[Dave:] Well it st I mean it's something stupid innit? Because the simple reason
[Keith:] I even went in at seven in the morning when they've got no compressors going in case it was the compressors dragging the whatsit down
[Dave:] because to me it's, it's something like that... everything, it's gotta be the C P U innit? It's gotta be something telling that bell to ring
[Keith:] That's right
[Dave:] and you would think if you change every bloody thing out
[Keith:] That's right
[Dave:] whenever it was telling it to ring
[Keith:] That's right
[Dave:] to stop
[Keith:] Yeah, well I got a kit there and I wir I wired, just put it on the floor and it light on the wall, had it all connected bang, bang, pull them erm, er wired them all up and still did it, that mine? Or yours?
[Dave:] Yours
[Keith:] Is it? Yours
[Dave:] Yours
[Keith:] Call one please ring Brian before ten thirty, it's ten twenty nine now so, oh bloody car phone... ...
[Dave:] It's like Selby must be decoder number right round here
[Keith:] No find it next to the unit, next to the
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] That's what I like you co, you depend on someone helping me out and
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER] Don't out on you
[Dave:] Well I, I wonder... if it does occur again, happen again
[Keith:] Yeah
[Dave:] do decode it... it's hell of a run you know innit?
[Keith:] I did that at Selby's, I had the decoder, the new cabinet, everything, I had the decoder there hanging on the floor like that, I wired it up and I pressed extension sixteen and away it went, it said four there and the display decoder was there about ten extensions
[Dave:] And it was about ten, sixteen that was doing it
[Keith:] I think it was sixteen yeah, fifteen or sixteen, I'm sure it was sixteen
[Dave:] Aye you said, like you say it could be se
[Keith:] but third lines that is something that'd happened all of a sudden, of about four throughout the cou, well three at the time throughout the country have suddenly gone like it within about a month or so of each other, and they've never had any trouble before, but I was talking to Brian and he said that's a load of cobblers, he says it's been doing it for a long time and there's loads of them doing it.
[Dave:] Unless we and see what's been used
[Keith:] Yeah... well if, if I get called backed to it, or I'll change that display decoder first, I mean that's been reset now, forget that, er
[Dave:] Aye
[Keith:] yeah, well if you can get out o, f of that though
[Dave:] You can
[Keith:] Can you, what on eight three one?...
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] Oh dear...
[Dave:] I mean... I figured it's gotta be something date, dated I feel
[Keith:] Oh aye, yes
[Dave:] cause it to do it
[Keith:] Well I thought that, but er you know, that was my to do it, but then again that was in it all the time, you know, it just don't make sense funny how they're both garages weren't it? Mm... in fact, eh I tell you what
[Dave:] Over head
[Keith:] all, yeah they're not, round the corner, all three garages is this is Selby's and there's erm, Selby's is Volkswagen repairer and er, oh no, yeah Lee invite it was in their garage where the lorry was.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] Of all the systems we've got three garages it's happened to, radio station
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] I think that wants putting back together there
[Dave:] Eh? If you want to ring Brian...
[Keith:] Cancel that will clear it up
[Dave:] Put this one back together
[Keith:] I thought you'd on we'll do a reset and see how it goes, and just leave it if it, if it clears it erm that's fine
[Dave:] And if not I think the next thing actually is to move the decoder... or change the decoder
[Keith:] Change it, wow, bloody step
[Dave:] That's three times you try to fall that, if you have an industrial injury
[Keith:] Three steps to heaven that's what it is, kill myself next time
[Dave:] Somebody said did you see the accident, no [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] I ask did I have my eyes shut when I kicked him, er
[Dave:] Free line now
[Keith:] Yeah I just clear it... er I don't like the idea of doing that actually
[Dave:] Why?
[Keith:] What using it for er without asking, it comes up on the er... have er, I'll ask her first... [phonecall starts] hello it's the G P G engineer love, yeah, er my pager's just gone off, is it okay to use my telephone just to answer it please? It is okay is it? Alright, thank you, ta [phonecall ends]...
[Dave:] O'Connors again
[Keith:] O'Connors?
[Dave:] Yeah
[Keith:] Where's that?
[Dave:] Yeah
[Keith:] What's happened there? I haven't been there for over a, a year or more I think last time I was there On a tray... there's service Is there?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] I had to put the phone down because of you
[Russell:] Oh I do apologize profusely, profoundly whatever it is, no, no I was there when you bought it
[Keith:] I know, I've gotta get a frame
[Russell:] You've got a get another a picture, it's crap
[Keith:] That's not a bad picture that
[Russell:] Yeah, it's two-toned as well, it's green and blue
[Keith:] Blue and green
[Russell:] or is it just I can prove it's green and green because it's a quester two tone exterior with a
[Keith:] so that roof's supposed to be green then and that on the top of the boiler is definitely not blue, even though they use blue ink for it
[Russell:] That's definitely green cos it's got green on it
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] right
[Russell:] Brill news
[Keith:] What?
[Russell:] got a disco on March twenty eighth yeah it's not that I don't wanna do it, it's
[Keith:] Not the people that book with you
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] it's relatives
[Keith:] Yeah and you feel obliged to them to have it for next to nothing
[Russell:] I feel obliged to do it er for more
[Keith:] No
[Russell:] No, I've been saying they booked me about two months ago and I've been saying that they have a deposit
[Keith:] mm
[Russell:] Well tonight
[Keith:] Mm
[Russell:] one of the lads at work come up says there's a disco on March twenty eight and before I said I'm already booked, I said yeah, he says er how much do you charge, I told him and I says well if you let me have confirmation as soon as you can and a deposit of ten or fifteen pounds as soon as you can
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] as soon as you know for definite
[Keith:] That rides over the, the relatives
[Russell:] it overrides them
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] I'm gonna pass them on to one of the other bods at work
[Keith:] Why does somebody else at work do a disco?
[Russell:] One of the girls at work, her brother does them, er... so it's got me out of it
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] never get out of it
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER]
[Russell:] Well I don't want to keep a date open for no reason at all and I mean say
[Keith:] That's it, yeah the general yeah, if you tell them to say you don't want it you've had it ain't ya?
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] You know our Wayne don't ya?
[Russell:] We're back on line
[Keith:] Testing
[Russell:] right that one..
[Keith:] I've got excuse me... I tell you what I like them, them
[Russell:] Two boxes of
[Keith:] chicken
[Russell:] Yeah I know, a terrible oversight there, I've got erm you know them chicken nuggets that I get, have you seen them?
[Keith:] Them cheapo ones from Wallis?
[Russell:] Or they might be turkey ones, I go to Kwiksave you get thirty in a bag for about well just erm for a couple of quid I think, or you get twenty four in a bag, oh I don't know, you get something like that anyway... yeah
[Keith:] I think I'm gonna have to start eating some stuffing
[Russell:] I thought the erm, I should, I should get it so erm... [LAUGHTER]
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] tell you what I was in a bath this morning
[Russell:] [LAUGHTER] yeah
[Keith:] You know what I mean
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] no you didn't you said you were gonna leave it
[Russell:] Oh yeah, that was it, yeah, yeah, muttered it under my breath as I walked out, yeah, I'll have to get in touch with that to say if got that erm yeah, yeah I say that amplifier was absolutely useless ha
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] He says need another wire
[Russell:] Who says a what, a chap at work?
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] Well we can get an extension lead, mind you it's alright you
[Keith:] it's not the same is it?
[Russell:] You may find that's a moulded plug and it, no that end trigger, is it a variable speed trigger?
[Keith:] No
[Russell:] Oh I was gonna say I bought a variable speed trigger for mine cos its back up [drilling noise] it erm
[Keith:] But sometimes when you're using it it don't quite work
[Russell:] Yeah, mine, like that
[Keith:] Ha, see what he means... it's a switch
[Russell:] Is it?
[Keith:] told him it might need a new switch
[Russell:] Yeah, well that's why a switch, a switch on mine, so oh no the cable didn't come
[Keith:] I says to him be prepared for a bill said I don't mind paying for one, but
[Russell:] My last one was eight pound summat but mine's a variable speed reversible and all that
[Keith:] About four quid
[Russell:] there's no slow start on the reverse I got it while I was working in Leicestershire so I couldn't really take it back it'll cost me more in petrol mm what, I didn't, did you call special on Sunday?
[Keith:] Why?
[Russell:] Well Les says er when we got out the car and you went he says bloody hell that uses some juice don't it? I said well he reckons it does, he says when he filled up at the garage it were full, he says we hadn't got back and it was between the half and three quarters, I said oh I never looked at it
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] Is it really that thirsty?
[Keith:] Does about twenty, twenty three to the gallon
[Russell:] What on a motor like that, no surely not must
[Keith:] Right
[Russell:] do more
[Keith:] at the speed I was doing it keeps it to that, if I'd of kept it to fifty it would of been a lot more
[Russell:] You what, well come on we were only doing fifty on the way back
[Keith:] Yeah, weren't on the way there though
[Russell:] I know
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER] seventy minimum on the way there
[Russell:] Do you think it's worth it though for what you get out of it, well I mean you obviously do, you like the car don't you?
[Keith:] I like it, er pulls the looks, it don't pull the birds but it
[Russell:] yeah, yeah, soon I'll call you logo he went running yeah... what is it?
[Keith:] A bit of a funnel
[Russell:] saucepan?... oh you're deep frying them are you?
[Keith:] Deep frying is a lot actually is a lot better than shallow frying
[Russell:] Mm
[Keith:] cos it seals the food as soon as you put it in
[Russell:] Does it?
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] So you don't get so much fat in it, yeah I'll have to get a deep fat frying pan then, for all the fat
[Keith:] Oh it's true
[Russell:] for all the fried foods I'm not no that's what I mean yeah, I've, I mean I ain't got for all the u fatty foods I eat I fry pasta, deep fat one, deep pan, oh I don't know, you know what I mean yeah...
[Keith:] switch that's gone, it's proving it cos it's a bastard
[Russell:] Well you, if it's intermittent an'all put
[Keith:] This
[Russell:] the toggle fish on to use for a week if it cures the
[Keith:] no I'll get a longer lead as well for it
[Russell:] Mm
[Keith:] about five metres of wire, is that long enough?
[Russell:] What powers the drill? is it? Oh I, I had one of them... oh would blow off wouldn't it?
[Keith:] What is it?
[Russell:] yeah, it's says low on it oh number, three thousand and under, one point eight amp, four hundred watts
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] expect it to be that thick then
[Keith:] Yeah,... thing is getting them wires out
[Russell:] Oh screws from under the side
[Keith:] Fuck off
[Russell:] What, what you on about?... Oh brilliant
[Keith:] Don't you know how to do them?
[Russell:] Mine, mine was mine was erm if you've got screw contacts on it, mine have... well to say that these er... these switches are so unreliable you'd expect it to be erm these be a bit user friendly, cor blimey, just cut it about all things down and put a chocolate strip in, plenty of room in the handle...
[Keith:] Oh really
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Russell:] You really want that one off though don't ya? Did he say he wants a as well?
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] It's a bit of a pain int it? Seven or eight years
[Keith:] Oh I tried it for her
[Russell:] That's alright then
[Keith:] er, I'll put a new switch on and wire, it ain't the wire at all it's the switch
[Russell:] Mm
[Keith:] have to double that, cos when you wiggle the wires here what it is when you wiggling the wire you're moving the... thing contact, I said if you wiggle the wire it's alright it's sort of coincidental
[Russell:] Mm
[Keith:] [cough] it might actually just be breaking the wire there
[Russell:] Maybe, just remake it
[Keith:] I can't get them out, you can see it's struggling...
[Russell:] Usually is the wire
[Keith:] Not on them it isn't, it's usually the switch
[Russell:] Eh?
[Keith:] It's usually the switch
[Russell:] What on these?
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] I dunno I think my jig saw went, that was the wire, I just cut it off and made it off again and it was alright... it's short enough so it don't go through the window when you throw it
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER] Break the window to get the bloody wires through
[Russell:] it's what?
[Keith:] Where to get the ideas for the lamps and that
[Russell:] Just
[Keith:] what it is, it's these modern new they're not that bloody brilliant
[Russell:] Mm, I can still remember Ann's face now, oh this bloody thing, got it and threw it, no, no
[Keith:] Yes [LAUGHTER]
[Russell:] it just stopped short of the window, well no it was quite short you know, you could just see it aiming for the window, luckily it was plugged in
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER] It stopped it dead
[Russell:] it stopped it dead in its track, yeah, couldn't get to rewire it after it though it snapped it a little bit.... Yeah, just rewire it up, just try it for er, you know, I mean it failed straight away, if it don't fail within half an hour then your er... you know what it is, save yourself getting a switch. Yeah, scrub the switch up [LAUGHTER] that'll do for a change, paint it black inside the hose thing.
[Keith:] cos if it's not the wiring, the switch is alright
[Russell:] won't be able to what?
[Keith:] Won't be able to get the
[Russell:] why?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ......
[Keith:] a brand new blade, if working on something and working away not... minding my own business
[Russell:] Mm
[Keith:] working away [LAUGHTER]
[Russell:] Yeah...
[Keith:] Oh did I laugh me... just about done with these
[Russell:] Oh and I thought there were a couple of speakers
[Keith:] Oh, don't know where they're from
[Russell:] no not really, not proper... stand over here no I'm gonna turn the fan on, oh Jesus Christ mm
[Keith:] and it always has the same thing
[Russell:] Yeah must be want what they swallowed it and they're swimming round
[Keith:] Oh shit
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ......
[Keith:] Zoom, zoom, zoom
[Russell:] What time is it? Half past seven, what d'ya reckon then do ya? have you teletext?
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] Oh I don't know how you work that
[Keith:] Just press a button
[Russell:] go on and says you wouldn't mind my telly just happened to mention in the night says I'd like a white telly you know, go a bit more with, with the decor a cream, yeah, a cream telly you know, oh I'll have that one he says when you sell it, oh Christ almighty, I thought I was, excuse me... perhaps I, I would like a teletext one, just get, you know I don't want, I'm not sort I don't like the colour, I'd rather see a white one in the corner
[Keith:] Mm
[Russell:] get a white telly with teletext, you know... I suppose I could put that one in the bedroom yeah, yeah... oh dear eh? Oh that's sunken there innit, yeah... don't think there's yet an empty seat [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] They've got people standing on top an'all
[Russell:] Yeah look at that right down to the water line though innit?
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] Them on the bottom they're bound to get their feet wet aren't they?
[Keith:] Mm... These countries are amazing aren't they, they're so in the cities and yet
[Russell:] Mm
[Keith:] out in the wild
[Russell:] Mm, oh, aye look at that [LAUGHTER] oh can you imagine waking up to that, well probably wake up blind
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] tossed over a few times in the night, burnt me eyes out yeah, yeah... I'd like to visit somewhere like that you know...
[Keith:] Do what?
[Russell:] I dunno, as you say to see the culture things like that... but it's a bit difficult to put niggers down in their own country... well what's that then, is that, is that just the ferry between an island or something
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Russell:] Look for this boat it doesn't even stop, blimey
[Keith:] Amazing int it you get something like that and it'll go forever
[Russell:] Mm
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Russell:] Blimey is that the a bit wicked innit?
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER] Did you hear that?
[Russell:] Yeah... [LAUGHTER] Can you imagine if they got cholera on that... what was that boat that got cholera on it, it wiped them out, not the Mary Celeste was it? no mm... I reckon pirates had a go at that you know...
[Keith:] Makes you wonder don't it?
[Russell:] Mm...
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Russell:] What's he travelling all that way for that, he could of gone to Doddington market, get the same effect couldn't ya? Same thing both selling rubbish
[Keith:] Eh?...
[Russell:] Get out you're not getting on that boat, look at it...
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Russell:] Oh god... Oh no wonder you say there's us like eating cockles I suppose as the French eating snails int it?
[Keith:] Mm
[Russell:] Same sort of thing... [phone rings]
[Keith:] [phonecall starts] Hello there man, of course I'm awake, I'm eating my tea, ha you're wrong, Russell's organizing his night so that he's gonna pick you up half eight quarter to nine... okay... well I, I ain't had a shower or anything yet, I mean er everything's organized I organized it all for picking you up eight quarter to nine, bless you, what's your number?... Oh what I'll do when I'm ready I'll give you a bell which means it'll be what ten, fifteen minutes from then to picking you up... Oh that's it... Alright, see you bell in a bit, ciao [phonecall ends]
[Russell:] I thought that was floating then, but it's an island, the way their camera was moving it looked like the old grass was moving, oh that's a nice boat
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER]
[Russell:] [LAUGHTER]... yeah...
[Keith:] They have to pay as well?
[Russell:] Oh they... talking to one of these receptionists today and she says erm... [cough] she's been trying to get a bit of erm, she's split up with her husband, trying to get, a bit of extra money together, you know, to be, she's got her own house like, buying her own house and all this and that she's fell into a bloody modelling job and saying get yourself a passport and er on about sending her off to either the South of France or Kenya
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] Yeah... so she's er... instead of just earning herself a bit of money she ain't done bad has she? Mind she's dead smart... dead smart...
[Keith:] Well there's a thing going round a few years ago weren't there with these models, just pay for them to go out there...
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] and just keep them on meagre wages and then they'd have to subsidize themselves or
[Russell:] Oh, no oh no it's not like that, it's a proper model agency in er, in Nottingham, it, it sounds above board, well I've heard of the, the lass that's running it actually, she's an ex page three girl, she's er very good, you know, from what I've heard it's erm, it's a reputable agency and er, yeah the ones of the sharks doing that, but er, she ain't one of them... thing is she doe she
[Keith:] Everybody wants to
[Russell:] yeah, yeah, including English women [LAUGHTER] er, what's he doing with that bird, he still, what's he doing?... oh I don't believe it, he's got an AIDS problem and he's shaving a, oh god yeah, that's true... it does show ya that it can grow though don't it, not the hair I mean AI AIDS you know if you shave somebody head and got AIDS and you shave his head, he cuts them both, that's it, two people's got AIDS just like that.... That was an antelope with his arse weren't it?
[Keith:] Which one?
[Russell:] That was were they just got all aboard
[Keith:] Yeah...
[Russell:] You can't get many of them out of sea surely
[Keith:] I thought they're trading people that's coming up as well
[Russell:] Oh... that one isn't dead yet is he? That one is... good god the size of that one... that must be still alive oh look at that look... yeah... er I could tell that was still alive that pig
[Keith:] Mm...
[Russell:] I can't stand to see people being cruel to animals it absolutely appals me, it does really, I feel like to take an axe to them
[Keith:] Mm
[Russell:] I feel like I'd, I could take an axe to them... oh look at that look... oh... dear, probably seen his mother butchered... ah see that big fat body just then a pair of feet I thought it was his, did you see that?
[Keith:] Mm
[Russell:] [LAUGHTER] I thought cor blimey it's a wonder he can walk... look at that... you wouldn't believe that today would you nineteen ninety two... oh no wonder they all come over here, is so really, can't blame them if that's the sort of quality of life they've got
[Keith:] Sorry we should never of let them in first
[Russell:] Well there'd ought to of been more control... but apparently now, you know how the Indians come over here, all the time don't they?
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] You try and get to India, not that you'd want to go mind you, you try and live in India, won't let you in
[Keith:] Mm
[Russell:] No, you cannot get to India from what I've heard, you cannot get in
[Keith:] Well I see this thing in the paper...
[Russell:] Well the only reason you want to get out of here is to get out of the way of Indians
[Keith:] Yeah full of white man over there
[Russell:] Yeah that's it cos they're all over here
[Keith:] See if you can find a tickatape reading machine for a
[Russell:] a tickatape reading, what er, er a telex type thing?
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] I've got
[Russell:] have ya?
[Keith:] Really love it, it is racist
[Russell:] [LAUGHTER] I'm not racist
[Keith:] You, I tell you you'll love it
[Russell:] Me?
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] I can't stand bigots, racist bigots, especially black'uns... no
[Keith:] I tell ya if you can, if you know anywhere that's got one
[Russell:] Mm
[Keith:] it'll look
[Russell:] yeah, er that's not many of them these days is there?
[Keith:] Aren't there?
[Russell:] I tell you what the biggest racist are the black, black, not so much the blacks, are the Asians
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] They're terrible, they really are, not all of them
[Keith:] Oh I know but them who are, are really bad
[Russell:] Yeah oh when I went to that
[Keith:] You know a lot of people erm, you're not, they to acc accept them to what they are
[Russell:] I'm the same, I'm, I won't prejudge
[Keith:] But when they start coming
[Russell:] Yeah that's right
[Keith:] and start calling you behind your back cos you'll find out
[Russell:] Yeah... mm a bit like I say when I went to that dentist surgery at er Leicester
[Keith:] Mm
[Russell:] last year I couldn't believe my welcome, they're coming out and apologizing are you alright to wait, you know, he's, he's got dentist in the surgery and oh it was amazing
[Keith:] I know, I was I went up for some chips at the top
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] and er [cough] and I says to him that's one thing you never get at that, that one at Top Shop
[Russell:] What's that?
[Keith:] well she says like, I won't be a minute I could see what she was doing, I won't be a minute, I think she knows what I go in for
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] it ain't very often I go in for something other than chips and not have chips as well you know
[Russell:] Chips and chips?
[Keith:] Well you know like fish and nothing else
[Russell:] Yeah, yeah
[Keith:] [cough] says oh I'll not be a minute... yeah so he starts, you don't get that sort of thing that one, the Big Shops
[Russell:] Yeah you, you're there and they just ignore you
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] Mm
[Keith:] and she were telling me the guy that runs it won't let them talk to the customers, said that was pig ignorant surely
[Russell:] owns it? I thought he owns them all
[Keith:] No don't own that one at Top Shop
[Russell:] Don't he?
[Keith:] No
[Russell:] Oh I thought he did, are you sure? I reckon he does you know
[Keith:] But when you go go into this one yeah they're nice and friendly aren't they?
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] You walk in and just like er, they're always talking to you
[Russell:] And he won't let them talk to the customers?
[Keith:] At that one at the Big Shops, the guy that ru okay it might be the guy that runs it not the one that owns it
[Russell:] Yeah I'm sure owns it
[Keith:] won't let them talk
[Russell:] Yeah...
[Keith:] he won't let them talk, it's disgusting, I tell ya, you know, no end of times I've been in there and it's obvious we're waiting for chips
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] to cook and they won't say
[Russell:] Anyone who don't want chips
[Keith:] Something like that
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] on top of as well, we've just put them in they'll be about five minutes or whatever
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] I mean what does it cost, no, no end of times I've just
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] walked out with it's unreal
[Russell:] Do you know the bloke, do bloke, do you know the bloke who owns it then? Have you seen him?
[Keith:] No, it's, when I was talking to these
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] this other chappie
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] you know the top one out the two
[Russell:] Yeah, you don't know if he's Greek then?
[Keith:] He's some foreigner thing, but they were saying they don't allow them to talk to the customers that's it, you don't talk false stop, no hows, whys or whatever, you don't talk
[Russell:] Tell him cobblers
[Keith:] Yeah I don't go though
[Russell:] I won't, I wo I won't erm
[Keith:] I won't go in the shop even with
[Russell:] where there's ignorance
[Keith:] I've even considered reporting it to the health people
[Russell:] Why is it bad?
[Keith:] It can be
[Russell:] Can it?... Oh he don't look very pleased with something does he? Want to nail him to the fence you should think he's not... yeah, yeah [LAUGHTER] he had them all panicking...
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] Their captain's making it difficult for them on the blower
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER]
[Russell:] [LAUGHTER] Did you see that? [LAUGHTER] he nearly shot himself in the butt that time didn't he?
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Russell:] He's in a rush to get somewhere ain't he?
[Keith:] Yeah he's had a big
[Russell:] is that what it is?... Oh it's a definite to the side, oh that's his canoe there
[Keith:] Oh I don't know why he just doesn't turn the boat so the current was too much for the
[Russell:] it is innit?
[Keith:] Yeah... yeah... did you not know that?
[Russell:] I learnt something about it in the past yeah
[Keith:] You know when you're fishing
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] boil ham
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] throw it down as ground bait
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] sends the fish high
[Russell:] Does it?
[Keith:] Yeah
[Russell:] oh I've heard of them, yeah, but I know this
[Keith:] Pre-boil it
[Russell:] Yeah
[Keith:] rinse the stuff out, and just throw it in and you're away
[Russell:] Oh I wonder if you grind it up and smoke it in a pipe with tobacco, would it have the same effect?
[Keith:] I don't know
[Russell:] I bet it would eh? I used to use them when I was fishing
[Keith:] Yeah didn't boil it though did you?
[Russell:] Mm, mm can't remember, I di didn't go for long
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER]
[Russell:] yeah, we was talking about them today actually as a mat as a... as a coincidence we er, we own that creepy crawlies and dragonflies...
[Keith:] Oh it didn't look like it was making a hundred miles an hour anyway
[Russell:] No...
[Keith:] What happens if that engine blows up?
[Russell:] Yeah, well it goes downstream then don't it?
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER]
[Russell:] Goes back to the fisherman and they just er done the dirty on...
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Russell:] Yeah got one job all day today, oh yeah
[Keith:] Got a good day then?
[Russell:] Good day, yeah... well I was in Beeston all morning preparing it, there's a programme on well I used er technical supports, workshop, went in there grab my and dashed out and fitted it, complete waste of bloody time mind you cos er we've got the own software back in now, well actually the latest releases of it, we were going back a release because er we were having trouble, but it turns out it's not our problem... external problem so, put three dot seven back in.
[Keith:] I can see it, blimey where's that from? Did it? What for? What really? Yeah You could use that couldn't you? You, you, you have two don't you for a sub base or just, you just have one do ya? One yeah Cos it's not, it's non-directional ain't it base? What, what it is on that one you've got this speaker right and it goes down to really low frequencies especially right, oh you've got to have a special sub base speaker then? Well it ain't gotta, it ain't got to be a sub base one, it's a base speaker Mm, bigger then You know, you know that padding that you put on the car you know that stuff on the doors inside? Mm, yeah You put two squares of that and stick on to the cone You're joking and it slows you down, and it goes in out and like that Blimey... well you could have them on your A speakers and then have yours, just play your surrounds couldn't ya if you wanted to do it that way if you want really Yeah but you'll lose, you'll lose oh of course you are yeah, yeah... oh just like that and hi-fi speakers and hi squire, hi-fi speakers Hi squire be hi squire speakers Anyway something beginning with S [LAUGHTER] Yeah, all sorts like that Yeah and there's one it's supposed to be erm a pretty good unit Yeah and it only had one over all the speaker Oval? Electrical? Was it? Yeah on a four amp speaker that's it well we're not talking again, sub base No, no these are speakers on Really, new ones? Well not new ones out all sort of catalogue in them Mm... computer, yeah yeah I thought about, about that amp you know Did you get it? Oh, eh Have you tried it out? Oh yeah Do you make a hundred and fifty watt speaker? Ha, was it? Sixteen hundred Well the ones I'm running are twenty five watts What's the, what's forty, twenty five watts or less, forty watts nominal... the ones I'm running not through a hundred watt channel, er Now we went, we went to er to
[speaker004:] No it's just after the
[Keith:] just before Christmas
[speaker004:] Right, okay then Angela, about six o'clock then
[Keith:] Ain't you got the ones? Yeah
[speaker004:] Okay then
[Keith:] Yeah
[speaker004:] see ya, ta-ta
[Keith:] he says he says yeah about a hundred and forty quid the pair The pair? The pair Yeah and they erm say a hundred and forty watt Handling yeah there's, yeah, yeah that's not bad then, you said they sounded alright didn't you? Sounds did they? And when he sat in here like they've got like two glass doors Yeah yeah He's got two of them that go in to his next room Yeah and then he got it up the back that far You can hear it and he got it turned up a bit and sounds bloody from the other room Yeah and then we get in the doors well you know what I've done with mine erm, just temporarily, I'm trying to find out to speaker position, eh? Put big resisters on it Big resisters yeah, I just don't turn it up very far, it's, it's, it's lovely, it really is, it's well worth the money Yeah and er I've put er, you know how my room's, the fire's there and I, I had erm sort of either side of the fireplace didn't I, but one Yes was in the back room cos of the size of the fireplace and one in that corner... but they're in the way, that was only temporary while the house is upside down and I've put two yeah, yeah, put them upside down and the house will be the right way round, I've put one either side of the patio door and sort of based them slightly inwards on the floor to get the maximum bass response, I understand in that room it's brilliant, it's absolutely su boom, boom Yeah but what happens when you come down the other end? As soon as you walk through the archway, I mean you'd expect it to be an open You'll lose it You lose it Yeah Well you'd lose it Could you get, you know when I said it, you know when I said about It must hit the wall and bounce off did I, did I ask you about that erm when Dave lighting on the ceiling, he's got four speakers and I said look what, what's happening is the, the sound from that particular sound from that mm It does work that does cos I've, I've read about it in one of the books Oh yeah, it's like wiring your speakers back to front as well Mm erm, getting the wrong, your, your, your bass response just goes [whistling] it cancels out cos one's pushing and pulling, the other's pulling and pushing, vicious Yeah, I've got a design for a set of speakers upstairs and do, I think it's three way like that Yeah and it's, it's got the box the design of the box will interfere yeah I tell you what there's been about four or five different types of that is there? Yeah, you've got one where you get bass reflex Yeah right and then you've got an infinite backing where you got speakers there like that and then you got a board behind that and then one behind that and behind that That's right yeah, yeah you know, there's another one, another, another type of back is This is all for bass is it? No it's all for speaker's cabinets Mm, mm it's easily when the computer program is it and all the generator the sills mm an amplifier, a multimeter Yeah you know, and you stick it on, you know, like it shows in the circuit, and then whatever reading you get that's yeah whatever that is, I dunno yeah work out and you can put all the information in to the computer Yeah bloody hell, yeah, my box in, I think my speaker boxes are glued together, you can't get at erm Are they vacuum sealed though? It wouldn't surprise me Because it, it, it turns to the, you don't lose so much bass in the back Yeah, if it's vacuum sealed yeah Yeah cos in, well I don't suppose it could be vacuum sealed it would rip all your wouldn't it? Yeah I suppose it would wouldn't it, if it tries to come forward yeah, yeah But you don't get any as your bass come out your yeah, yeah, you don't get the sort of, when your speaker's on loud you get a lot of sound coming out the back Yeah, but it's very, it's well, can, I don't suppose it can be, I might of had one of the speakers out but I know there in the back of the speakers, you had this loft insulation it's full of that Yeah it's like white stuff No it's yellow, it's yellow Wadding Yeah like wadding yeah yeah there's a lot of different designs you can't move the back of these Can't ya? you've got to take the speakers out the front Mm to get, you know, to get inside I can't get in my back or front Oh can't you get your speakers out? I can't remember now, I know I've had a go to have a look at them to see how, to see exactly how, cos what I thought, what I thought I was gonna do was, I didn't like the furniture of the, of the speakers and when I was keeping that system I was gonna remount the speakers in the box a bit more you know decorative but erm, you know, I remember as coming across one or two obstacles and I couldn't get in to it... I thought if I'd tried a bit harder, I didn't want to start you know... so I've been thinking about convert these speakers this time Mm because you only sort of need to buy one set of speakers Mm move the cabinets and if they're no good just cut them up and throw them away Yeah you know, but, one of them it shows you inside the side view of the cabinet Yeah right, and you've got your speaker there, and you've got your coming down like that, but in the corner you've got a piece of concrete Concrete? and ceramic tiles set on it You're joking Eh? All in the, all in the book Oh ceramic tiles set in it like that [LAUGHTER] Yeah Well that's the sound lock Oh [LAUGHTER] yeah, but perspex in the speakers so you can see through them... But the of perspex is not the right material for the, for the box is it? Not really because mm, wouldn't sound right though, you wouldn't get the cor correct type of resonance out of it mm, I don't know I think a lot of the sound travels through the wood, I think that's all part of it, you know, I don't think you'd have very good erm quality out of to be honest with you... You know them, you know them little tubes that you put in mm, I've seen them on the front that's all yeah, mm things like that, they've a plastic tube in them, I is it? Yeah really but it's the right size This is it you see, I mean a, a company like or have gone to a lot of trouble to get that length right, er and to tune the box and all this that and the other and get the right, I don't know maybe er just think oh you know you just build this, put this massive speaker in and call it a sub based woofer Mm you know, you don't know what the qualities gonna be like, it's alright getting one for fifty quid Yeah if it's decent, but if you've got a decent system and you've got a crap you're really wasting your time having one Yeah I know Yeah cos I've seen a sub based they're over three hundred pounds and there must be a difference is it? Yeah Well, rather pay a bit more and get one that's good Yeah, I mean that Kenwood's got, he he says it looks nice as well yeah You can't actually see the speakers Mm he's got Kenwood words written on it and a great big diamond on the, at the end Mm, yeah,ma maybe with a W Yeah with a W That's right yeah that it's made out, yeah does it? Yeah Yeah and that's, that's what two hundred quid? That's two hundred quid Yeah, but I tell you what about then I says to him I went to him and says erm about the stamp thirty one hundred, he says erm
[Richard:] Well I wouldn't do it, I'm not stupid enough
[Keith:] Oh he says I can get you one, I said I want to hear it first
[Richard:] Oh aye
[Keith:] he said oh it's not rigged up, there's no plug on it, there's no speakers attached to the back, I says well when can you get rigged up? He says I'm coming New Year's Day, alright, he went down and he shut it, cos I went in the shop and I says er hang on I thought you was open New Year's Day? I were, ah I says I came here at quarter past two, place was all shut up what time did you go, I can deal with the manager and she was the manageress, he's the assistant, er, er, er, I says oh dear have I dropped you in it? I paid you till four o'clock, I thought oh no [LAUGHTER] er and he says do you want one? I says I want to listen to it, you know, I said I've heard it with C D going through it with about four sets of speakers, but I want to listen to it through eight sets of speakers with cassette, a cassette that I like to make sure, to my type, he says I guarantee you now you will like it, he says you will like he says, he says we do a ten day er return thing, he says you buy something, he says you bring it back within ten days undamaged we'll give you money back if you don't like the quality of the sound, for whatever reason we'll give you your money back. yeah, yeah when, when I went in to work the other day, Pete says I don't know about that, that Kenwood stuff Oh too hot says er they do C D player Yeah and amp and a set of speakers it's about three hundred and odd quid and it's er Samsung and it's supposed to be one Mm of the best you can, the best sound you can get Really? three hundred pound Mm I thought well no [LAUGHTER] be a bargain for somebody Yeah... this one, look at the back, I think the reason it's so big is to go in on the sockets at the back, put, you can put two tapes on it Yeah C D, two video recorders through it, why you would want to put er the video recorders through an amp I don't know, but you can... have that
[speaker004:] Moving out
[Keith:] Oh I wouldn't let them drive me out
[speaker004:] Eh?
[Keith:] I wouldn't let them drive me out would you?
[speaker004:] I don't
[Keith:] you can, you can probably get better ones than, than white labels
[speaker004:] Yeah
[Keith:] Yeah
[speaker004:] they keep themselves to themselves
[Keith:] That's right, they're always personable you know, they'll always speak to you Aye
[speaker004:] Aye
[Keith:] Even they're not always a problem though
[speaker004:] lived on his own
[Keith:] Well I mean look at mine I've got white neighbours and you don't get noisier than them pleasant enough, you know, but it's just everything you've done, you know Sat here and oh god I've had enough of this, so I went round, knocked on the front door,win curtain went back like that, she went... What? so I went round the back Oh dear knocked on the door Jim said er Jim fancy her does he?
[speaker004:] he was, he was sportsman happy, he was out on
[Keith:] well that'd be going round the block wouldn't it? used to go, used to go for runs didn't he? Well, well you do anyway when you see them on telly and they're all hanging round the, you know, the, the A N C meetings they all go up and down like this
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] I think they do that in their sleep, I don't think there's a get used to it yeah [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Yeah poor thing knocked on the door
[Keith:] I said eh can you turn this music down, my kid's asleep, oh right, oh and he went and turned it down Yeah went in then Well that's it and then we waited till next morning when they were all fast asleep you know and mm
[speaker004:] didn't go to bed about five in the morning
[Keith:] yeah then you start drilling and sawing
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] hammering and banging one night especially, especially trying to do a bit of up against the wall
[speaker004:] Yeah
[Keith:] Yeah we had, we had hammer drilled the blunt bit [LAUGHTER] Well they were knocking one night well gone twelve, about twenty to one I think it was, still banging and hammering, and I'm sure if I rang him and said look you know pack it up this, he'd, he'd say oh I'm sorry yeah and he will, but you shouldn't have to do that
[speaker004:] No they should have
[Keith:] that's right I've always ain't I when I've done summat, if I've been sawing or banging, making a noise I've always stopped at ten Yeah that's, I think that's a reasonable time
[speaker004:] He didn't only did that cos you lost your temper did you hear us last night? I said did you hear us, she said
[Keith:] mm but when I did this, I did this Cor blimey that goes in one ear when I did this there were no there were nobody next door Yeah were there that side
[speaker004:] Yeah
[Keith:] then I bothered? No I mean sometimes you could sit here and their music on Mm
[speaker004:] Or you'd be
[Keith:] The thing, the thing I like about it is with, with blackies and things like that when they turn it up all they do is boom, boom Yeah when you've got white people next door at least you can hear the music You can hear the er I don't mind that I Yeah like, I'd turn the telly off and listen to their music sometimes Mm I don't mind the Beatles [LAUGHTER] Don't like the Beatles, though I like the blackies between, between two slices of bread... How's your telly? is it alright?
[Richard:] Oh brilliant, yeah brilliant no problem
[Keith:] Have you tried them both together?
[Richard:] Yeah both work yeah
[Keith:] Great
[Richard:] Wicked, watch Ian, Ian Botham first time in my life
[speaker004:] Er you watched that er Jack Nicholson thing?
[Richard:] Yeah
[Keith:] What The Shining?
[Richard:] No
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] Oh really got this program upstairs, I didn't tell you about it did I? Mick come down on Saturday, you know Mick Mick? Big Mick Big Mick
[Richard:] Mick and Ricky?
[Keith:] No just Mick
[Richard:] Not Mick and Ricky?
[Keith:] No it's just Mick now
[Richard:] Right
[Keith:] Ricky has left, she went off with a bloke ten years younger than her Really? Yeah
[Richard:] You're joking
[speaker004:] Not
[Richard:] she was more like a bloke
[speaker004:] I like I can get on with him
[Keith:] you could get on with Ricky she's a good listener oh really, yeah Anyway he come down and he got this box with disks in
[speaker004:] I thought he was gonna say he's got a belly
[Keith:] computer, computer disks Computer disks yeah and he just come in and he just sort of put them down like that, put the books next to them like that and never said nothing, so I never said nothing to them about them anyway computers and that and er he left it and he just carried on talking about this that and the other, and he says right I'm going and he went and he left the game, he'd brought it down for the kids, he didn't say, you know had their computer nicked yeah, yeah it's Nick and Eddy's
[speaker004:] He's goodhearted that way
[Keith:] he gave it them and never said owt, you know what I mean he just says oh there's a Ninja in there and Batman and this that and the other and left them Yeah there's, there's a program in there it's called Auto Ring you put Oh yeah yeah put, put put them in seen that we use that put this program in and you swap it for this er map disk, then it comes up, you tell it where you are, where you going to and it works your route out Yeah it gives you about three or four erm individual routes, don't it? It gives you the fastest route Shortest by road Shortest route Yeah and an intermediate route Yeah or in some cases you get two intermediate routes Mm and it tells you how far away it is, how long it should take you to get there to get there, yeah, you can put the time of day in as well can't ya? You can tell it what time you wanna set out Yeah you can also tell it what you I think it also works out the, the traffic load
[Richard:] Yeah
[Keith:] you can also, you can also Amazing work out if you want to avoid a place, you can put, say, say you're going from Mm or you can go by say from here here to Corby or something like that Mm where you go, you go through Leicester more or less wouldn't you? Yeah And you can just put down Nottingham to Corby avoiding Leicester Yeah and it says break and you can put out all your stops going in Mm you know you stop for twenty minutes, put twenty minutes, and you, you just press return and it throws a map up, a map of part of England Mm where you are That's it goes like that and puts all the numbers in Mm and then you can zoom in on it closer Yeah that's it you can move the arrow around can't ya, the arrow moves Yes and you can move the arrow and the cursor, that's it an arrow and a mouse you just hit it and it expands that bit Yeah you can zoom into it, you can zoom out from it, then you can put more detail in it, put more little places in around it and you can That's it, yeah where, where you are and that I think Gordon's got one, we use one at work though, yeah it's, yeah yes it's very good and then you just print it out and what you do instead of, instead of in the map with a, with a drawing like that Mm you, you get to the text one as well?... Yeah Where it tells you you're at Yeah that's it Nottingham and That's it you have to walk so and so for three miles Yeah that's it Yeah Often my that's it, yeah, yeah, you can give it to the driver then can't you? Yeah Mm I was just wondering how on earth your supposed to get to the M one heading towards er Bramford I mean no Cockbrave, everywhere you go from here is towards Cockbrave Is it? Yeah [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] I like, I like that, I like the idea of it telling you how far it is Yeah Lovely Yeah you know it's if you put twenty minute break in then does it tell you which is the best cafe to stop at and how much egg and chips cost you? [LAUGHTER] and what you can do is if you've got a yeah you can go and say er Nottingham, Grantham, Grantham to Lincoln, Lincoln to Newark and it'll tell you the, the route between each town Yeah like that you see, if you get to Lincoln you've done that one Yeah go down here, down here, down here you see it Mm, very good, yeah, I was spellbound when I first saw that, saw that about, I think the first time about three years ago how, how long did it take Mick to sort it out? Sorry? How long did it take Mick to sort a route out? Erm, it all depends, it looks erm On that one it sort of leaves a disk, it's got like a bar underneath Mm and as it's checking the list for the roads in the town That is I think that is it, it cuts down like that, then it goes off then it starts again, then it goes off and then goes that's it yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm vaguely recalling it now because it was six months ago since I saw Mick's but er, yeah that sounds about right Mm I can remember something about that eight hundred and forty eight miles Really? fourteen hours and something Good lord that's without a break Yeah, well he's, when he first says to me he says right he says er, this was when I first got an inkling that he was gonna check the mileage you know like for the future, and it says erm, where do you wanna go to? I says er... when was it, he says where do you wanna go from? I says Scotland, he says where? To Nottingham, where do you wanna go by? I says Dublin... he says I can't it's gotta be in Geordie then he says erm he says well where do you wanna go through? I says well Blackpool then, did all the routes you know, tell you all the routes that you can take for you know, and that took what fifteen seconds, twenty seconds or something to work that out, maybe there's not a lot to er alternatives Usually has a C C that's it er yeah but the thing is learners can't use motorways, er they want something to, wish to avoid motorways I think there might be yeah Yeah I ain't had a proper look I just put it on and said, work a few routes out you know where it Yeah where you're going, I mean I did Nottingham to Peterborough, how long did it take Nottingham to Peterborough?
[speaker004:] Hour fifteen under
[Keith:] An hour and eleven
[speaker004:] Yeah
[Keith:] one hour and eleven minutes it said on there
[speaker004:] that's from door to door
[Keith:] Yeah will do, yeah It'll take me fifty minutes
[Richard:] Did it?
[Keith:] Yeah, but I mean I think this is sticking to us
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] I tell you another option, tell you another option you've got in it, you can put down your G T I as well you can go in a G T I
[speaker004:] What's that?
[Keith:] I don't know the difference that makes but it's got an option, something like erm Well it's for time int it, obviously normal normal car Yeah you know van, lorries and stuff like that but, but the thing is if, if the traffic's gonna be heavy, if it thinks we're gonna get stuck in traffic, if you've got a G T I you're that type of driver you've got that type of power, you can sort of pass and save a bit of time Yeah so maybe it's, yeah, it's a good idea though... yeah
[Richard:] Yeah have you seen those things like, like these it's like an L C D screen between the one with the, with the, with the map spins on the side of the road?...
[Keith:] The one
[Richard:] It's a screen about this big right and you put it on your dashboard and plug it in to your cigarette lighter and er it's like a control centre and if there's been a crash
[Keith:] Mm
[Richard:] on the roads and if there's road works or summat, the section on, it's got all the major roads
[Keith:] Mm
[Richard:] and this section on your L C D flashes and you can like and you can zoom in and it'll say blah, blah, blah, road works at such and such avoid, or something like that
[Keith:] Mm I know they did you had it, you had it on your dashboard like that, you know like a map Yeah and what happen was you had like a, a receiver in your car and all the information was transmitted from, transmitted from like on lamp post Yeah and if you was, it says like he, you going to Oxford, if you went to Oxford and you come to such and such a way and you're going out towards Ipswich and the big roundabout there was Mm you know solid or there's been an accident it tells you there's an accident at, at this point Mm and this is your alternative route and gives you an alternative way to go round to get passed it Yeah I'd seen an accident the other day in town I'd seen two and did you notice they knocked the bridge down What bridge? Er not the bridge the er the gates to the Embankment have you seen that? Yeah I have Yeah seen the state Did you?
[Richard:] What, what was the thing about that? What happened?
[Keith:] I dunno I just, I was coming in at dinner time and there was a, a double decker bus with all its front smashed in, the wall fell over Mm, apparently the guy that was driving it had overalls on, so he may have been a mechanic delivering it to somewhere or test driving it over there yeah
[Richard:] Yeah [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] then I went, I went into town a bit later on, come down Manstral Road and there was like a load of traffic there and I got to where the traffic lights are just before you get to the big turning at Manstral Road Mm do you know where I mean? Mm And there was a single decker bus then, right, stopped in the middle of the road and there was an Escort and he'd gone under the back right up to his windscreen like that the back Really? the back of the bus was right at his windscreen like that Aye, cos they're quite high aren't they at the back, them Fords ain't they? Yeah, and it was right up to his windscreen Good god just look, the windscreen weren't broke Yeah but the back of the bus was level with it like that Yeah, you know these short dump trucks, the little stubby things, I saw one of them once erm, at the junction of Avenue Street and erm, well outside Lynn's there Mm and there was this dump truck sort of about two foot out, he'd obviously changed his mind and sort of had er stopped, had a Reliant Regal, you know a Reliant Regal it was right up to the windscreen and there was a pile of glass in, you know everywhere it was Tell you what and that was that was done right underneath this lorry on the, on the way to work one morning when I was, I was at I went, I used to go into town, past that grey garden... up, up Forest Road Yeah and then turn left and you're down towards Icing Green, do you know where I mean? And you come out near that new
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] No, you went from it's called Mount Eaton Road Mount Eaton Road I know yeah Yeah that's when you, when you come up that yes to the lights Yes yeah oh I was instead of turning round coming the wrong way on the wrong road, yeah if you go up and going straight on up the hill... You come along Ladford Road Boulevard, that's with the bed shop on the corner Yeah Straight up there straight on, past Camby and Sand Yeah up to the lights Yeah and then you come up and turn left at the florists Yeah, the right go straight up go straight up the hill Salvage Street Salvage Street is it? Yeah are the one I was coming down there, right Yeah and I just got through the traffic lights first thing in the morning and there was two light I couldn't believe it both of them and they'd smashed into each other Really? and there were bits of fibreglass all over the street Oh and two halves of car like laying on the side. Yeah Incredible, I, I could never believe that, two They into each other, cos they do don't they? Eh yeah Rick's er, Rick's car broke down you know and, and van broke down and somebody he, he, he lived in Clifton and worked at Radcliff on Trend and somebody says to him oh you can borrow our car it was a Reliant Regal, eh he said oh god, you know, I'll have to park it round the corner, and he got out, didn't go into work, you know go to work every day where erm yeah, no problem, and he says when you're driving along he says people flashing me, he says you see a head a pair of headlights flashing you think, it's not, it's another Reliant Regal some other bloke with a cap on you know
[Richard:] [LAUGHTER]
[Keith:] you know, one enthusiast club We had a bit of fun er not last Saturday the Saturday before didn't we?... We went bowling, he, come across he says
[Richard:] Oh I, yeah, yeah haven't a car
[Keith:] he says oh can we go in your car tonight he says mine's er, the alternator's gone Yeah and you have to push it to start it like, I says yes alright then, I knew the timing was out on mine so I thought I'd do that this afternoon Mm before we go, so I'm out there just set the timing then all of a sudden it went, but you know like kids give it a shove, pushed it on the street so turned it round and come back, this bloke pulls up in this er... well three, three litre super job was it? Yeah Yeah J reg weren't it, jumped out, wanna push? Yeah alright then, got down about ten yards it started again Yeah got it home and what it is, is the timing on the car probably cos it's so old Yeah is a lot further up er what it says in the book, no way near them Yeah you can't set it by the book so I just, you know Till it sounded right Mm that's it That's it, I do till it peaks without pinking Yeah that's it, it's done Yeah so it er, it were running alright then, and er I took it for a spin I went round the block, up Robin Hood Way... Which one's that? Yeah, yeah Yeah, up to Wickes Mm, mm straight up the erm by the custom bridge, right up to the next island round there, round the island and back down again yeah Yeah I give it some you know Yeah back over the flyover, back down here, comes up stop, turns it straight back on again oh no Yeah thought right, spanner... took it out the starter motor What's that? Well it wasn't it was the solenoid Yeah, is it for a gauge? A ring Is the solenoid on the starter? Yeah, yeah, what it, what it was on them ones when you turn your key it suddenly clicks and it clicks the thingy forward Yeah and then when it does that when the solenoid comes back Mm it comes back through the starter motor and so I thought oh right strip it all down see what's up, see if it's bent inside Yeah strips it all down, gets the book out, do this, no, that don't work, put the book away Aha [LAUGHTER] ripped it to pieces Yeah just use your commonsense took it all to pieces, cleaned it up all inside it's great, I thought right I'll take it outside and I'll try it now Mm just outside held your foot on it so it didn't fly all over the place, yeah yeah where's all this gone Yeah I thought I'll get one... down the scrap yard Well the yeah so you can get the solenoid off Eh? don't you? No, the one, the one I worked on it was inter you had to get a, take, replace the lot The cella solenoid on the top like that Yeah and all, all it's got is now
[speaker004:] Keith?
[Keith:] No ta yeah this
[speaker004:] Don't put it on the floor
[Keith:] this solenoid is under It look like ribbon and there's more to come Yeah
[speaker004:] What do you mean I made it like a brick?
[Keith:] [LAUGHTER] A bit slow on that one weren't ya? there's this solenoid on the top Yeah and it's got like a, a metal thing that comes from it and it's on a pivot Mm like, so you've got a solenoid that holding the top on the pivot and the bit at the bottom just like a like that Yeah like selector like a J selector? Yeah Yeah and when it clicks back it just goes like that, it pushes and pulls Yeah and all you do is you take that pin out and pull it out... Oh, eh oh, eh, does it? yeah go on So I went round the scrap yard to er, what's it called? yeah Ken's Ah No, not anyway went in, have you got one? Well there's one there, there's one there and there's one round the back, so I looked in that one it's a different engine Yeah cos in, when you and it shows you the, the engine I went round the back and they'd got yours a two litre? I thought it was a sixteen hundred, yeah yeah looked in it they're the same, I thought tried to pull it out, it won't come out, there's a bracket on it, on the back Was it? Yeah, and it was getting a bit dark and I couldn't see Oh and I couldn't see underneath like er is it done? I said no not yet, he says we're going in a minute, quarter to dip stick Yeah pulled it out the way, fiddle me car yeah and then I go some, put it in It's alright cleaned it all first Yeah my nephew's selling an X R Two you know, grant it in the paper's three thousand whatever it is, deflate, and er... guy come round, no problems, no problems with it, well I mean the head gasket's gone and there's a hole near the wing and bald tyre on it but mechanically it's, this guy comes round to look at it, I mean he's been driving it from Plymouth, he's in the navy, up and down here, bloke comes round, yeah no problem, come on round mate, come and have a look at it, look round it, says yeah I like this can I just take it for a drive? Yeah, goes click, click, click, the starter motor, wouldn't believe it would ya? Eh? Would of finished up and now the van's got the red light heat coming on, on the battery, took it into the garage and checked it, it's charging the battery alright, its alternator's okay, but we don't know what it is... but when you turn it on, when you turn the key on in the morning Yeah you know where the indicator's on it's a dead flash int it? Yeah It sounds like that, but in the dashboard on the back of the er alternator Is it? Yeah Your instrument voltage regulator That's what I think it is Yeah it's not cutting out for the for the thingy That's right is your no Oh What, what else is happening, you know you know your brake warning lights? Yeah When your brakes are going Yeah erm that then don't come on either, but when it clicks like that they flash together and they both light up, and then when you start it up they go up and then they come back on again You got an problem? I don't think so... he, he says it's charging alright so sounds like you've got a to me This is it, if it's a yeah If the, if the battery was, like if you want it the battery, when you turn it on that that's true, yeah Yeah, so you can leave it and but this, this er starter motor is the one I bought from the is better than the one that's in it Yeah it's got four good instead of two Has it? Yeah yeah, well is it? you've got more chance of it firing Yeah, cos if one set go you still got
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Keith:] right... I went to G T Cars Yeah, will they do it? to ask about the yeah To buy one I bet they'll sell you one wouldn't they? Yeah they would, yeah Did they? Yeah and starter motor before Yeah I says er how much are they? how much?... Well I'd say to price it, I know they're not quite so expensive on carpet but I'd say... I'd say about seventeen pounds, but I bet it was about twenty seven or thirty one It was about fifty seven You're joking, just for a solenoid? I said alright, how much is it for the starter motor with the solenoid built onto it like? Oh probably about sixty two Eighty quid Yeah, that's it Twenty quid for a starting motor Yeah I'll have one of them well he says we've had so many of them I thought I'm not surprised I've got er, I've got a database Yeah on a database because it'll soon be what I've done is I've put like erm... the year, the year and the make of the month, right the month anyway, so I've put something like one, ten, eighty seven... right as the month and after that I've put down what magazine it is Yeah every yeah and then I've put project what it's called and then I've put what kind of project it is what type Oh right and then I've put like audio Yeah and photographic Yeah so that in the end when I sell it again I can put the type in alphabetical ascending order Mm so it'll be like erm amplifier, bass amplifier Yeah you know Oh yeah things like that Yeah It, it's all that and then you can just look through the amplifier and it takes about eighty records at a time because it's using forty five letters with the right cos some of them are dead wrong Yeah erm so many for the dates and for so many for the and so on like that and er, I thought okay
[speaker004:] I don't like the bow on it
[Keith:] load it, sort it out and print it, right? Mm It starts off happily printing away, gets to page full Yeah starts to wind fan fold paper and wind it and wind it and wind it Bet they're all printed it's coming right through [LAUGHTER] I thought what the bloody hell's all this Yeah switched it off, fanned it all back, right and I thought start again, I must be doing something wrong, so I the switches in the back Yeah so er... I thought I'd try it on one piece... one piece of paper Yeah one with perforation on Yeah try it on that, put the paper in did pass the paper and er the paper light comes on Right, yeah, and he's carried on printing while the paper like Really? Yeah, gets page, winds that piece of paper out, withdraw the package like that Yeah and then it winds another piece of paper in and starts printing again yeah, aha You're supposed to be using that, so it's printing the sheet and throwing it out and printing on that one and then throwing that out and making another one Yeah that's why the, that's why they're running backwards and then forwards again Mm to make sure it ain't falling in, you know What printer is it? Epsom They're good very good, yeah, I say you could borrow my printer again, but that's, that packed up you know Did it? that printer of mine, yeah about about, no, no it's only about a fortnight ago, I was on site doing a job and I come out and... as far as you know what you call courtesy dial in a card, so that you don't cut anybody off, you can dial it and everybody says oh what's going off, you know, you can courtesy dial it, when we've finished it shuts that channel down Mm yeah oh can't get it, and that's what we do and it comes up three channels you can use and somebody else cleared out two channels are used and if them channel everybody on that call, instead of sixteen channels on a card and there's five people using it, it comes up five channels in use and blocks out number eleven so that nobody else can use it Ah right you see? as they as they share the line it switches them off Blocks them off as well yeah, and it comes up one channel in use... when they cleared out card down, it clears the card so you can take it out... I don't, they come down three channels in use, two channels in use, one channel in use.