[speaker001:] Like, who was it who reckoned there was a corner on a boat?
[Barry:] Well you reckoned there weren't a corner on a boat.
[Peter:] There ain't.
[Barry:] [LAUGHTER] There is []!
[Peter:] Oh shut up!
[Barry:] Ach, you do get corners on boats!
[Peter:] No. Boats are shaped like a bloody rugby ball shape type
[Barry:] No they ain't. One end is and the other one ain't, and it was a yacht... and a yacht, they got little rooms in or something cos innit?
[Peter:] Oh that,th the rooms are shaped ni, like to the size of the boat, you nonce! [tut]!
[Barry:] Let's ask your Mum if there's, if there's any corners on a boat.
[Peter:] Of course there ain't.
[Barry:] Just ask your Mum that.
[Peter:] Yeah. I bet she'll probably side with you. But, I, I know for a fact there ain't.
[Barry:] You don't know. Fucking hell!
[Peter:] Bollocks pal!
[Barry:] ... how many, many corners in a boat?
[Peter:] They're shaped like rugby balls!
[Kevin:] Shaped like rugby balls.
[Peter:] Don't start!
[Kevin:] They ain't shaped like rugby balls.
[Barry:] Goes round like this and then it goes square at the back.
[Peter:] They're not square at the back!
[Kevin:] Do you er, have you got any whatsername there?
[Barry:] What?
[Kevin:] Brochures.
[Peter:] Brochures?
[speaker001:] No I haven't.
[Kevin:] Then you see a boat and.
[Peter:] Oh bollocks brother!
[Kevin:] There, there are, ships.
[Peter:] Oh ships, Kev, but I'm talking about boats.
[Kevin:] Well a boat is, a ship is a boat you prat!
[Peter:] No it ain't, a ship's a big fucker!
[Barry:] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] And a boat's a little fucker!
[Barry:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] That ain't shaped like a rugby ball. That ain't, that ain't, that ain't
[Peter:] Kev
[Barry:] They do
[Kevin:] that ain't, that ain't, that ain't
[Peter:] They're all, they're ships Kev.
[Kevin:] that ain't.
[Peter:] Kev, they are ships.
[Barry:] They're ships.
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] That's a fucking weird ship []! I wouldn't sail in it. Don't you think it's a fucking?
[Peter:] Yeah, you don't, you don't sail in ships anyway.
[Kevin:] That is not shaped like a rugby ball. Er, and you don't get seagulls swim er, swimming in the sea.
[Peter:] Yes you do.
[Barry:] [LAUGHTER] Yes you do, you dill! Why do you think they're called seagulls Kev []?
[Peter:] Der er!
[Barry:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] You don't get seagulls
[Peter:] Seagulls do swim Kev.
[Kevin:] They don't swim.
[Barry:] They do swim. They they jump into, they dive into the water.
[Kevin:] Yeah, they fly.
[Peter:] And they do swim cos they've got the feet for it.
[Kevin:] They don't
[Barry:] Yeah right.
[Kevin:] they don't fly in the water Pete.
[Barry:] They do.
[Kevin:] flying in the water.
[Barry:] No.
[Peter:] Al, alright Kev. Yeah. Flying in the water.
[Barry:] Alright Mum?
[Kevin:] Water... seagulls fly in apparently because erm.
[Barry:] Yeah. [LAUGHTER] They go in the ship you dick []!
[Peter:] Dick arse.
[Kevin:] They.
[Barry:] Well why is there
[Kevin:] Oh, a load of
[Barry:] alright
[Kevin:] bollocks.
[Barry:] alright, so they draw fish on the side of the fucking ships!
[Kevin:] If you say draw it wrong, who cares? If there weren't then just go home.
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER] Go home []. Do you think so?
[Barry:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Erm, now I am home so... sod off!
[Barry:] [mimics crying]
[Peter:] Go to bed then!
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] I don't wanna go to bed []. [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] Ask Silko.
[Barry:] Yeah. He's only a fucking newsreader.
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER] That's Trevor MacDonald [].
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker001:] Excuse me.
[Barry:] [LAUGHTER] This ain't [].
[Peter:] A bunny.
[Barry:] He's black though.
[Peter:] I know. [LAUGHTER]... No, d'ya know what he says after his news speech?
[Barry:] Yeah. Let's get a coffee
[Peter:] D'ya
[Barry:] now.
[Peter:] Nah. Do you wanna... erm
[Kevin:] Go for a quick one before it closes.
[Peter:] Yeah. Before it closes.
[Barry:] How do you know?
[Peter:] They said it. They faxed it, I T N faxed it... just to the Big Breakfast. They said it.
[Barry:] [singing] Did you never know... about your mind [].
[Peter:] You are. What you doing? What are you doing now?
[Kevin:] Well you said I could keep it.
[Peter:] [tut].
[Barry:] Stop messing around.
[Kevin:] Shut up Bamber!
[Peter:] Shut up Kevin.
[Barry:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] No I won't shut up!
[Barry:] [singing] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah []!
[Peter:] What you doing?
[speaker001:] Oh you're not doing that silly thing?
[Kevin:] Told me to turn it down.
[Peter:] Oh what about [bad background noise computer game or sport on tv]
[Barry:] Looks like Arthur's scoring in one and I think his brother scored another. And hi, his brother could score again. And he does. Turn it up a little bit more. Seagulls don't swim. It's like saying puffins don't swim.
[Kevin:] It's like thinking fish don't swim.
[Barry:] [LAUGHTER] [very loud tv speech barely audible] ... a superb effort! He does a little dummy
[Kevin:] [singing] []. Flies in the water.
[Peter:] Penguins don't.
[Kevin:] They do fly in the water. It does fly in the water.
[Barry:] It ain't got a to fly in the water.
[Kevin:] It has.
[Barry:] It ain't got them under the water. It's just got a picture of water, and they're next to it.
[Kevin:] So why is the water right behind them then?
[Barry:] If there was really be water on top of them.
[Kevin:] , no shut up! Shut up!
[Barry:] Biggest fucking thing.
[Peter:] Let's have a look at it Kev.
[Kevin:] Alright.
[Barry:] [singing] Da, da da da da da da da da ah ah ah ah []!
[Peter:] Oh! What's this little fella. Gonna be scared now. [computer game]
[Barry:] Ah!
[Peter:] A C Milan!
[Barry:] He's the Turkish Champion. [computer game]
[Peter:] What happens if they went one nil up?
[Barry:] They, they drew it. Take a, take a shot now.
[Peter:] !
[Barry:] On penalties. Penalties!
[Kevin:] This is in Turkey.
[Peter:] I reckon if me and you, get the team playing each other get both, get two away goals, whatever, take it into extra time... right, we both get a goal each... and go, imagine going to penalties or something.
[Kevin:] It's a Argentina match or something. Get one put in together.
[Peter:] No le, make it, don't make him score in extra time just
[Barry:] Yeah, make, also make
[Peter:] leave it.
[Barry:] one put them in together. Yeah, shall we try that?
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] [singing] Don't you wanna know your child []. [cheering on computer game]
[Peter:] So here he comes, looks as if we're.
[Barry:] I just thought of something, what happens I don't re, I don't think so. Cos when you're.
[Peter:] Oh that's... my microphone.
[speaker001:] Who was it who first said that they'd witnessed something?
[Barry:] Yeah. What?
[Kevin:] Well you not, you liked the but erm
[Barry:] No I never.
[Kevin:] You did.
[Barry:] No I never.
[Kevin:] It was you or Peter.
[Peter:] Who was this?
[Barry:] No it wasn't.
[Kevin:] It weren't me. It was either you or Peter.
[Barry:] It weren't me.
[Kevin:] You then.
[Peter:] No it weren't me.
[Barry:] [LAUGHTER] It weren't me, I never played [].
[Peter:] Do, don't get, don't get me into this.
[Kevin:] Oh! [interference from computer game crowd cheering]
[Barry:] I dunno where he is.
[Kevin:] It weren't me. Can you place a shot? Turn that up!
[Barry:] Yes.
[Kevin:] Please!
[Peter:] Probably go back stop.
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER]... I can score your point now.
[Peter:] No, no, that's that thing called. Bull boy back stop.
[Kevin:] You're playing this.
[Peter:] Bollocks!
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] You're a blue oyster... in disguise.
[Kevin:] ... You're a blue boy...
[Barry:] It's meant to be a tenner.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Peter:] Nine two on aggregate.
[Kevin:] Ah!
[Barry:] What a tenner between ya?
[Kevin:] No, tenner for each.
[Barry:] Yeah.
[Peter:] [scream]
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] It's the spirit!
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Barry:] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] No, if you only you had a fart coming. [interference from computer game] He just went... or it sounds like.
[Barry:] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] Pa. It sounded, a little breather.
[Barry:] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] Pa.
[Kevin:] Okay, you was all quiet until you went [scream]
[Peter:] No, Kev, no. I didn't go raargh aargh!
[Kevin:] Well I don't think I did so
[Peter:] Yes you did.
[Kevin:] No I never.
[Peter:] Yes you did.
[Kevin:] No I never.
[Peter:] You did.
[Kevin:] No.
[Peter:] You did.
[Kevin:] No.
[Peter:] You did.
[Kevin:] No.
[Peter:] You did.
[Kevin:] No.
[Peter:] You did.
[Kevin:] No.
[Peter:] Look, you've been repeating yourself again.
[Kevin:] Yeah, so are you.
[Peter:] No I ain't.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Peter:] I di, I ain't repeating yourself.
[Kevin:] Did, you did. You did!
[Peter:] I ain't repeating yourself. So I done alright.
[Kevin:] Ha ha! So funny!
[Barry:] What's he got playing like this.
[Peter:] Rumbled it. Seven eight
[Kevin:] You've done it again.
[Peter:] [belch]
[Barry:] Do him you wanker!
[Peter:] Joe or something.
[Barry:] I know.
[Peter:] Half way down.... Sam's brother.
[Kevin:] Sam's there.
[Peter:] If Sam came up to you... and you ge your Mil, you had Millwall and Sam right, rips it off right, ripped it to pieces and that, started burning it, and he give you a Wimbledon shirt in return what would you do?
[Kevin:] Probably... do the same to his. Mm.
[Peter:] What, then you'd give him a Millwall shirt?
[Kevin:] I'd give it back. I got a and my Dad was going
[Peter:] I'd kill him! [LAUGHTER]... Your Dad'd kill him and all.
[Kevin:] I know. I wouldn't.
[Peter:] Poor old Bobby.
[Kevin:] He's always had to find a new friend, he don't trust me.
[Peter:] a good friend, ah!
[Barry:] Pass!
[Peter:] I wanna be your friend.
[Kevin:] He for a lunch.
[Peter:] Far from a friend.
[Kevin:] I wanna get you expelled.
[Peter:] Bollocks!... Paul. Joss ran into the wind. Oh shot! Ha!... Oh a excellent boot, enough far. Someone should tell Joey.
[Barry:] , but someone's already told him....
[Kevin:] Oh sorry, I'm on the.
[Peter:] Whoever listens to this... your Mum's like fish and chips, a come slap-up.... Good goal. [a lot of interference from computer game not very clear speech]
[Kevin:] I reckon those kids are getting... Hooray!... [singing] [].
[Barry:] Oh it's on there.
[Kevin:] [singing] [].
[Peter:] Oh it's too smelly at Millwall.
[Kevin:] Hey. I says at, Arsenal! [singing], it's not against fanny and Chelsea [].
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER] Who's this fanny and Chelsea []?
[Kevin:] [singing] Oh yeah, cos I know it's wonderful [].