[speaker001:] Long fingering of manuscript and I thought the [LAUGHTER] fingering. I now it's putting it on I thought the long fingering of man should was a lovely expression Where was that, you said that? Isle of Isle of oh Isle of and they sh what she went on to say is erm... I hope to redress this in the... shortly in other words she's shortly going to but I must say I like the expression long fingering you know bloody idle you know. Mm. So you haven't got it back? No, no she said she's gonna redress the balance very shortly. Erm... when I find my glasses I Now I've got to leave at three thirty. Okay well we'll Okay Kath, right. Erm let me just see if I've got a I made a whole page of notes here dunno whether any of its important. Erm... I've got the Observer Ghost Story winners we can leave that for another week. Erm... the talks erm Gillian Thornton is gonna speak to us on the 23rd of February just to remind you and I've actually prepared some notes on play writing which we can fit in some time during this sort of session. Erm... homework I'm [LAUGHTER] Come and sit down Janet.... Ann Hello, [LAUGHTER] Well let me just say quickly we're being recorded there's... there's someone er who's gotta er a project organisation by the Oxford University Press who's interested in our spoken word Right and he's going to ask each of us to sign a... a permission form in the end, because we have our... we all own the copy right you know our own spoken word and er in order that this man can use what we actually speak today, is showing to want us individually to sign a form. I don't think there's any sort of danger in it it's it's in fact for use in constructing a dictionary... really. Erm so it's they're really interested in our use of language. Erm... I told you about that chap Michael Bell who wrote to me about using my book as play, I'll read you his letter some other week. Erm... John's Dream the National Playwright's Network actually wrote back to me and said they're quite happy to read your plays for a fee erm... but I intend to re-write that before I put it in... er for a reading erm... Oh,I I sent a poem called Pleasure to Woman's Weekly... in June last year and I suspect they were actually planning to use it but they've had a New Year's clear-out and I got it back yesterday. Erm... Foxes in the Garden with the R S P C A photos I had rejected yesterday as well, so that was a good day. Erm... I brought in the old flurry tape,I 've I've taped I taped our when you've read my play for me, I erm... I taped it and I made a copy for Dave I you know, erm Cybil makes a good effort in that so eventually I'll lend you the tape. Yeah that's [LAUGHTER] eventually I'll lend you the tape [] for that erm we can pass it round. Erm... Mr. Parish I mentioned, sorry your name is Jim? Jim Jim did you say? Jim and he's proposing to listen to the group today with the views to joining. Jim has written, like myself his background is in technical writing for a living... and he's gotta particular interest in American... writers and the use of American language er I gather. Right well... I'll start today if you don't mind and we'll go round in the normal way erm when we come to Pat. Pat has got five thousand odd words to read to us, so if we can scoot round fairly quickly today. Well we'll leave him till last if he's got Yeah well that's, what I was like that yeah In other words you know you What I was Pat is five thousand words is really too bit a bite you know if you really want people to criticism off it, you wanna break it down into sort of two thousand word chapters really. I couldn't get to the first part again and yeah that's right Even though you you feel it's off your back you've written, you can still read it out I could go er that wouldn't be a bad idea, because part of it would make sense to finish. Yeah well if you like. Yeah. You know five thousand It is quite a lot to read I mean I read a short story last... week. Two seven. It was Two Seven and that even seems quite long you know to... That's right It's quite long in the reading five thousand is... as Yeah as Cybil mentioned you know I mean if... if we want to criticise your first ten [LAUGHTER] words it comes a bit hard up to five thousand [] you know. something that makes sense to carry on Mm Okay Can I just mention that nobody's read that but you'll see the last sentence says that... whatever you put on that tape the... dictionary keep the copyright you see and that's all right when you're on conversations, but if you were to... to read in an and it was a short story, if that's you know i if they reserve Very observant yes, yes but Jim makes the point he said that if if if when you sign a declaration you say Er yeah exclude your short story, otherwise it could mean on you know it could be taken out and sold somewhere and then in interest you would sell your own for selling your own word you know that could be a possibility. Well nobody's really saying in case when any of us sign it, we must sign excluding the written work yes, yes, yeah read out and if you exclude it, I think if all us do that the best thing is to read something we've already had published. Well [LAUGHTER] I think it's something like that Oh, the one that keeps up to date and updates the Oxford English Yeah, I think Even so, I think as David says, it would probably be wise to exclude your exclude your written work. I mean... by the piece I'm reading you today, I've already submitted to the B B C and if I sell it if it's something that's If if they they take it, then I've sold the copyright to the B B C and I'm not in a position to offer it to anybody else anyway erm So will the tape last for the whole two hours? Yes, apparently. B B C. Yes. I don't want any of your bad language Janet... [LAUGHTER]. Right well let me just surely [LAUGHTER]. This... this is I I I'll start off as I say I've... I've written a covering letter to Bank and Mitchell of the B B C and I I thought I'd read you the letter as well, because the letter... does what we've often said about setting the block plan. Erm... I say I enclose a short story for your consideration. In this story the principal character is a grumpy old house with a malevolent sense of humour. It is newly occupied by a young couple. In the first conflict situation the house launches a minor attack on the wife whilst possibly saving the husband from real harm. The couple settle in. Minor conflicts occur with the couple trying to pacify her, this continues up to a black moment when the house relents and saves them... and then I say and this is important I think when you write for a radio, I have marked one paragraph with red brackets. This paragraph is optional depending on the reading speed. Without it, my version occupied a few seconds under fifteen minutes. The play is written for a Hertfordshire accent or similar and then you know I enclose and I say return if you don't like it. Incidentally Janet, did your piece ever come back or erm
[Fred:] Yes
[speaker001:] Oh, it's come back.
[Janet:] Came back.
[speaker001:] Oh. Oh Was it the Black Dog? No, that came back after all that time erm,... no this this was the call called The Birthday it was about a split in the future where she erm Oh yes was a little girl on her fifteenth birthday and has it it's like an M O T Certificate, only it's an M O L... Certificate for life that you have to do after your sixty five. Well I sent it to the B B C, I sent it to Duncan but I also sent it to the... the Lady a shorter version to the Lady... their competition and I said their competition was gonna be on the eighteenth in their issue they would give the names of the... of the winners, but I had looked in the Lady yesterday in Smiths and there was none of... nothing about it, but I don't think I've won anyway because it said you'd be notified by post so. that they run late on Yes it does. I've had one away five months to but I I I No, but this has been published It's been published December the fourteenth and I haven't had my copy yet which was in Central England. Oh, Central England. Yes Yours was sent to sent on to the charity work. Oh, you did do it and I didn't. Very important.
[Fred:] Right I'll read you this piece and you'll have to... forgive my facsimile of a Herts. accent. [speaker talking in a hertfordshire accent now] Home sweet home my Roy Ramsay. We fell in love with the cottage at first sight. It was snowing the January day we moved in. The cottage was old and grumpy, she didn't make us welcome. Cottage means small house. This house was large and had four bedrooms. She didn't like her name, she didn't like anything. I was a young man, I was virile and vigorous. She didn't like me. I well remember our first night with the aid of father-in-law we spent a long day moving ourselves in. He was in a van and two estate cars we made many short journeys. We'd loaded and unloaded furniture, tools, books and crockery, the contents of house and garage, greenhouse, garden and shed. The cottage had solid brick walls, none of your modern self-insulating cavities. The ancient boiler had sat in sullen silence for ten days, a drifting cave under a mountain would have offered more comfort. The rooms were too chilly for the youngsters, so we left with mother-in-law. I bought some coal and lit the sulky boiler. Four hours later the cottage had allowed the temperature to rise a degree above freezing. We made a last cup of tea on the camping stove and retired midnight. We lay awake all night startled by strange sounds. We was too cold to sleep, to exhausted to search out extra blankets from unlabelled tea chests. Holding each other close we wondered if this was a senseless move from a tiny cosy semi. In the morning the fire was cold and the cottage once more below freezing, she burst a boiler. While I was making some tea there was a tremendous crash. Me wife screamed. I flew up the stairs to find a huge hole in the ceiling, at the foot of the bed covered with plaster and ice. Water ran from the hole. Of course at that time we didn't realise she'd done it on purpose. We had just finished finding the wife some dry clothes when there was an explosion downstairs. The camping stove had blown up. At least I was upstairs when it happened, no-one was hurt. We waited, tea-less all day for the gas man to connect the cooker. We had fish and chips from the local chippy for lunch, dinner and supper. The fire had a good appetite too in the cold, we burnt exactly one ton of anthracite in that freezing January. Life got back to normal, we picked up our bearings. The back of the house faces south, an avenue of giant elms and a few old oaks lay over that way. The house on our western side had been empty for years. It's back garden was a jungle. Among lots of small trees was seven fifty foot black it's front garden held two mighty elms. I loved the trees, but having this forest next door, made sure our garden only saw the sun as he moves from east to west early in the morning. The rest of the day we never saw him. We loved our home in the woods down in the lane. She didn't love us. Outside, the cottage walls were a horrible battleship grey, the woodwork was depression brown. The interior was dull and decrepit with lots of layers of ancient wallpaper. My wife and I loved a challenge in those days and we could see what it might become with hard work, but it was a real challenge, no mistake. We tackled the house bravely enough, we started with the childrens bedrooms. Next we did the kitchen and breakfast room where we fits an efficient gas boiler. We battles on in dining and sitting rooms. We found out that the sitting room had a timber panelled ceiling which had been papered over and given lots of coats of whitewash. Father-in-law and me soldiered six weeks to restore it looks now. We papered and painted two big bedrooms, bathroom and toilet. We installed bigger radiators everywhere we went. We began to win the temperature battle. Lastly, worst of all the landing hall and stairs, all those doors, all that white paint. Several times the cottage tried to throw me from the scuffle boards, one night she succeeded, I got a badly twisted ankle. I told her you won't defeat me. Next year my wife starts in earnest on the gardens, driving back to Blackberry and Elver, while I experiments with the outside colour scheme. All the walls I gives three coats of brilliant white stone paint, easier to say than to do. Black and white seemed a suitable work, the front door was painted long yellow. As I say, the back of the house faces south, the summer sun was on the upper frames all the time. He soon blistered the glass in black. With a fight the frames were changed to white and yellow which reflects the heat rather than absorb it. Time passed, we improved the house. I hoped she'd begin to feel grateful. We fitted new carpets, lamps and staircase. One summer I changed both sets of French windows for doors with Georgian frames. I give myself one hundred and twenty new panes to varnish round, who says we grows wiser as we grows old. The house grinned. The owner of the near-ruined house next door came and had his forest felled to sell the property. We gained a sunny outlook and some neighbours to enjoy. The house smiled. The let in some afternoon sun which burnt the still black paint on the front paint work. I saw what she'd been smiling at. We settled for yellow and white all round. The two boys shared a bedroom, the spare room was our office, the boys were six years apart in age. In a few years their needs were very different, the young one needed to be in bed and the older one wanted to play music with his friends. Then my wife had her brain wave. There was a wide space beside the staircase, the stairs rose up to the boys' bedroom wall, then turned left to join the landing. On the landing the first door on the left opened up a walk-in cupboard. Why not, my wife says, knock a hole through the boys' bedroom wall, pinch a three foot six strip off it and make a new landing passage and extend the walk-in cupboard, forward to take up the old landing and sideways to build a space out to the main part of the stairs. It was brilliant. When the work started the house was furious, she put every possible obstacle in the way of the builders and arranged for it to rain as soon as the slates come off. She made sure all the plumbing and wiring was in the path of progress. Every hole drilled in the walls met a stone, she blunted every tool. When everything was finished, the younger boy moved in. For weeks we bumped into strange doors whilst making our way to bathroom and toilet in the dark. The house chuckled. At last, to pacify her, we fitted a new bathroom. That magnificent cottage suite with gold- plated fittings should have pleased her. She showed no sign. To prevent her playing nasty tricks on us we had all the old lead and iron pipes taken out and the rust galvanised tanks replaced with trusty burst-proof fibreglass. We thickened up the insulation in the loft to deaden the midnight sound of her dropping chips of toil on our bedroom ceiling. At last, I thinks I seeks her problem. In the dead of night I crept down to the breakfast room, the nerve centre. Listen house I says, you are not a small house, the cottage never was suitable. We are going to change your name, we are going to call you the
[speaker001:] Wallering Remember Christopher Robin, his wise old house spelt his name Wal We're going to name you for the elms at the foot of the garden. In a fit of temper she arranged for all the surrounding elms to catch Dutch Elm Disease and quickly died. This drove out the tawny owls. She could be a nasty devil in those days. Suddenly I was struck down by an illness. When I was at me lowest me wife beat me, she excelled herself and managed magnificently when the family's happiness depended on it. I went blind in me right eye overnight. At first I could find no cause, I panicked, if I could go blind in one eye without a cause, perhaps I could go blind in the other. I could become a burden to me wife and family, not only that, if I couldn't pay the mortgage they might throw us out of the cottage. I started two schemes, first I increases the monthly payment on the mortgage, then I starts a separate savings account. Gradually the mortgage comes down and the savings goes up, but there's still a gap. Then, bugger I down dead if she didn't get me. [LAUGHTER]
[Fred:] I was painting the back of the house one Saturday, when she shook me off the ladder, I got a compound fracture on me left leg. Well, I'd had so much time on the sick, they put me on half pay. I couldn't pay the mortgage. Things got very black indeed. The bank was hard, they said they would foreclose if things didn't improve shortly. [clears throat] At last the house relented. As I lay in me bed each night, I heard an eerie, moaning sound from overhead. On the third night I woke the wife, she couldn't hear it. The boys never heard it either. When they was all out at work on Monday, I could stand it no longer, I pulled down the loft ladder and dragged meself up it, plaster and all. On Thursday, my brother Dick the doctor visits me. We did ya this copper kettle he asked, I've not seen that before. Oh, I've been hearing strange noises up in the loft lately and I got up there to see what it was. Do you remember, Granny used say copper kettles was lucky. Well I found an old brown paper parcel tucked right away in the corner where the noise was a- coming from, but I couldn't find what was making the noise, I opened the parcel and found this old kettle. All black it was, I spent two days cleaning it up. See, the kettle is copper and the stand is brass. Look, it's got a lovely little spirit stove underneath, it's got a boar hunt engraved right round the middle. Let me have a close look at it says Dick, putting on his glasses. Dick is my next youngest brother, he's been the village doctor round her for twenty years and a keen collector of antiques since he was married. I passed the kettle to him. He removes the lid and examines the whole thing closely. He hangs and hoars a bit then studies the trivet the smooth stove with its little lid on a chain. You've got a fine here he says. Don't you know a list of every time is marked W F S in a diamond. Yes, I did see that, I says. Does it mean anything important? Yes, I think it does he says. If I'm not mistaken, it means it was made by W F Smith of Stockton in about seventeen hundred. It was always an ornament, it was never meant to be used as an every day kettle. It would pay you to run this up to Sotheby's for evaluation, they've got a man there who specialises in things like this. Thanks Dick I says to him, taking it from him and passing the bottle, perhaps I will, I'd no idea it might be valuable, I just like copper and brass bits and pieces. Well of course you can guess the rest, I took it up and had it valued and then put in an auction. We got nine thousand five hundred for it. I bought did Dick a bottle of and paid off the mortgage. We're sitting pretty now. At last the house has made our peace with us and hangs on to her slates in the gardens. Having got the kettle was certainly lucky for me. The funny thing is I never heard that noise again. Fred Thomson has been reading Home Sweet Home by Roy Ramsay.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER]. Yes it's struggle in accent
[Fred:] Yeah,I I wrote the thing as you remember about eighteen months ago, but... it had no... conflict in it you know we're all the same and stories must have conflict, so I got the house to... burst the ceiling on the wife
[speaker001:] Yes
[Fred:] and then while he was upstairs... seeing and helping his wife, then the... the stove blew up downstairs, now that might have been the house... saving from a real disaster whilst attacking his wife in a minor way, or it might have been pure coincidence. But er
[speaker001:] Hertfordshire where they
[Fred:] [LAUGHTER] the other the black moment you know th the bit where I... I put in the bit where the... he broke his leg... and the mortgage was gonna be foreclosed on him I mean that builds up to the black moment which is... a necessary part of the story and then he got out of it erm because the house relented and showed him where the copper kettle was that was worth the money.
[speaker001:] use the word black seems to be getting very black. There is consensus out there of some people... who their self politically correct and they do not like the word There was a man being interviewed on tele the other night he said that these people are trying to destroy the English language by their
[Fred:] I won't be changing it.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] How many words does that write
[Fred:] It's I've... I was telling David outside that I've absolutely butchered it... and I... it's erm two thousand one hundred and sixty. As I
[speaker001:] Two thousand one hundred and sixty now?
[Fred:] Yeah.
[speaker001:] Oh.
[Fred:] Why does it seem longer?
[speaker001:] T frankly, yes it did, but I mean you were reading it... pretty well correctly the way they read I mean most of us read things I know I do myself, one reads things quicker than perhaps some would if we were reading them on a radio or something.
[Fred:] Well I've been practising this.
[speaker001:] and erm if you listen to things on the radio they they have at the end of a sentence or at the end of some sentence quite a pause for a second before they go on
[Fred:] Well as I've taped that I taped it at home
[speaker001:] Mm.
[Fred:] but as I wrote this and you know put in the acc th the conflict, it came up to two thousand five hundred words and I taped it and timed it and I've been butchering it and cutting out all the really nice little sentences and the nice sentences and I've got it down to two one sixty and now with that announcement on the end,... as I've got it taped, it's fourteen minutes [LAUGHTER] fifty-nine seconds [] for a fifteen minute slot, so it's about as precise as you're gonna get it.
[speaker001:] Yes.
[Fred:] Erm... and I may have slowed down a little today, I don't know I should have timed it again.
[Kath:] What
[Fred:] It's fiction Kath stop worrying.
[Kath:] I know.
[Fred:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker001:] A kettle. There was one though on the Antique Road Show where there's erm... er girl brought in a kettle and they've been using it... just every day and it was pottery and it was actually to buy her her own house. Showed it the following week.
[Fred:] Yeah well we've got a little antique box a jewellery box and it's embossed the pattern round it, and the pattern round it is a boar hunt and it's beautiful, there's a little boar... galloping his heart out with horsemen after him with spears and he's all the way round the box and I thought of adding him on to the copper kettle you know as engraved all round the outside. I've got no idea of what it might fetch, but as I say it is fiction Kath, don't worry about it.
[Kath:] No, I was just enthralled
[speaker001:] Absolutely.
[Fred:] Well I was watching one of those Antique Road Shows quite recently and I found a chap got one of those little sort of two inch diameter one inch high chamber pots... and he said and where did you get this and she said er at a car boot sale and he said and how much did you pay and she said twenty five P. He said well you're very lucky he said by my estimation that's worth four thousand [LAUGHTER] pounds []
[speaker001:] I was, I was thinking cos I've got an old copper kettle [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER]
[Fred:] Right, well the time's passing we will have to push on. Have you got anything Peter?
[Peter:] Yes. A certain... no dialogue today or anything like that. This is one of my... film articles which I mean it's of the things that I've sent of and I know it will be published because I belong to the Cinema Veterans... cinema and television veterans and they have this quarterly magazine and almost certainly you know it will be published in there, there's no
[Fred:] There's confidence that's what I like to see.
[Peter:] Well [LAUGHTER] I mean you don't get paid for it or anything.
[speaker001:] Oh.
[Peter:] there's no money in it
[speaker001:] Oh well that's a bit of a letdown Peter. [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] Yeah, no well.
[speaker001:] Did you send your other one in
[Peter:] Yes, I have I posted it off during the week to My Weekly, because I thought because the it was about a girl in all trouble, I think it
[speaker001:] You're telling avoid that
[Peter:] like perhaps appeals to womens magazines more than the other stuff... but I know that I mean it's not... romantic in that way is it's not a romance No.
[speaker001:] Oh
[Peter:] Yes. This is
[Fred:] Right Peter
[Peter:] This is called the Men Who Called Action. In the past the British Film Industry has produced many great directors, Sir Reed, Michael Powell, David Lee to name but three. These top directors will not be forgotten in the future, for apart from their films, much has also been about them. At the same time as these directors were making their classy films, there were many other directors churning out the cinema of workmanlike entertaining pictures. It is to these directors many of whom the industry forgot in their later years that I wish to pay tribute. One such director was Maclean Rogers who was born in 1899. In the early thirties he was employed as an editor for Herbert Wilcox at British and Dominion Films at Elstree. It was at B and D in 1932 that he directed his first film, the Mayor's Nest starring Sydney Howard. He continued throughout the thirties making mostly low budget productions that were made to fulfil exhibitors quotas requirements. During the 1940s he directed many films for and British National. I envisage and this is what I believe to be his last film Not a Hope in Hell early in 1960. Although mainly a director of low budget productions, he told me that before the war he concerned it a poor year if he did not earn six thousand pounds, quite a sum for those days. The last time I saw him was at Walton Studios a few months before they closed down and the was he was doing he said he was unable to get a film to direct, so he was going to be Herbert Wilcox first assistant director on his forthcoming production. Unfortunately, this film was never made. Another director also born just before the turn of the century was John Harlow. In his early years he appeared in concert parties. He was also a musical performer and also acted on the dramatic stage. He entered the film industry in 1927 as an assistant director. Spellbound was the first film he directed in 1940. It was a low budget production but drew a certain amount of attention as it attempted to explore spiritualism. Derek Fowler was the leading actor. John Harlow directed a series of films for British National, but probably his biggest success was While I Live which featured the very popular music the Dream of. In the 1950s he was finding work hard to come by. In 1955 he was employed for one week by Douglas Fairbanks Limited at Elstree as a cover director, British cover director on a T V film that was being directed by an American. He spent the week sitting in an office at the studio where in the past he had directed at least six feature films. Ernest Morris... born 1950 started in the business as a trainee on the construction side at Gainsborough's Lime Grove Studios. He later transferred to the production department as an assistant director. His opportunity to direct came from the Danzega Brothers He directed many of their T V series and second feature films. In 1961 they made their last T V series, Richard the Lionheart. Ernie directed all the thirty-nine half-hour episodes, just two second features without a break. He continued to direct films for Geof Parsons and others, but when the market for supporting films came to an end, he found it hard going. He would have been quite happy to have been employed as a production manager an or as an assistant director of which he was first class... but the work did not come his way. He ended his li his work in life as a postman.... Robert Asher, brother of camera man Jack Asher, was born in 1916. He entered the industry as an assistant director in 1934. Over the years he became one of the top first assistant directors in the country. He began directing in 1959 with Follow a Star, a Norman Wisdom film. It was a success and he went on to direct five mor Wisdom comedies. He also directed a Morecambe and Wise film and co-produced and directed with his brother, She'll Have a Go. He also directed a number of episodes of various T V series, but then the same old story, little work. He would also have been happy to have found work as a production manager or an assistant director. The last time I saw him was at Pine er was at on the as T V series at Pinewood, where he was acting second unit director. He was a very dispirited man. I will mention two other directors who sometimes made slightly higher budget films, Lance Comfort 1908 to 1967 his many films included and Temptation Harbour and Lawrence Huntingdon 1900 to 1967. His films include the Upturned Glass and the Franchise Affair. Both these directors fared much better than the other I have mentioned insomuch as they were working right up until their death. The directors I have mentioned I knew personally. There were many others of equal merit who deserve to be remembered, perhaps someone else would care to write about.... I mean it's you know, it's just to... to people in the film industry and obviously it has little interest reading it to
[Fred:] There was one which you said Ernest Morris was born in 1950.
[Peter:] Fifteen.
[Fred:] Oh, fifteen.
[Peter:] Yes.
[speaker001:] I thought he said fifty as well.
[Peter:] Oh no, fifteen.
[Fred:] I was gonna say you you s I thought you said 1950 and you said he was directing in 1961, you know I
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] The ordinary cinema goer sees a lot of glamour in directing and producing and God knows what else, but you... you really postman
[Peter:] No, well he was he... I knew him quite well because I lived in... at that time... when I w was on that T V series, I lived at Pinner. He also lived at Pinner and erm... then the work dried up and he first of all he did work was a postman at Christmas time, you know just as a thing and then he started you know then he became full time you know.
[speaker001:] Were there no jobs sort of in between the director and the
[Peter:] Well there were the jobs tha that I mentioned really, production manager or assistant director and now he would have been quite happy I know to have done those, because I remember talking about it you know er and he would have been very good at either of them, but erm... er he... he didn't get well he was a slightly abrasive man,he he he his erm... I I think in a way... erm... he was a director who could [sigh] who was not really a very good film director, he... he could get things done very quickly and that's why he worked for bash, bash, bash getting through everything quickly. He didn't have much finesse to do the things but erm and I think he used to sh he although I I got on all right with him, but some of the people working on the floor like the wardrobe people and that he used to... they used to... dislike him because he was but I would but you do find s I think perhaps he was a bit unsure of himself because I don't think he was somebody who'd had a... had a tremendous education, otherwise he probably wouldn't have gone in on the on the construction side which was being a chippy or something at Shepherds Bush and so you know you often find people like that they have a bit of a chip on their shoulders don't they you know, you know.
[Fred:] Plus I learned that you know from from our group reading of my play the other week, I learned what the function of a director was because... you know obviously I shouldn't have given you all your parts to read for a week to sort of work out what the inflection should have been.
[Peter:] Yeah, because
[Fred:] They've just given you a first read. You don't realise how many inflections are possible in one [LAUGHTER] word and every important word the wrong inflection was used you know. I thought ah, now that's what a director sorts out, you know I mean that was... that was er very useful. That Castle was that the story by A J
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Fred:] Yeah, a really good book that, I've got that at home. Right, Janet, your go. Oh she's got a B B C letter.
[Janet:] Refusal [LAUGHTER] oh yes. Er do y it's er printed, it's nothing er... I enjoyed reading your material this is B B C.
[speaker001:] Mm.
[Janet:] or you won't. I enjoyed reading your material, but after consideration I'm afraid to say that I cannot make use of short stories. We receive up to a hundred and forty week
[speaker001:] Oh.
[Janet:] and while we do consider each one, cannot offer individual reports or criticisms of every script that arrives. [clears throat] Many of the stories selected for short story are from published collections... established authors... some are commissioned specifically for the slot. We do use new writers, but they have to compete with these other sources. Briefly the requirements for short story are for fictional narrative based... er narrative based scripts of two thousand one hundred to two thousand three hundred words... do not use a factual accounts or anything longer or shorter on this, nor can we consider... 60 Writers Monthly
[Fred:] No, no.... Well I get it but I don't read it.
[Janet:] something about a novel you know.
[speaker001:] Janet, Not what you write what you said B B C
[Janet:] Yeah.
[Fred:] Well it's, it's very much an, but I mean it's my ambition to break into it.
[speaker001:] you know.
[Fred:] Yeah, but you know I mean you gotta keep
[speaker001:] Thi this really everything in life doesn't it
[Fred:] Yeah
[speaker001:] or nearly everything. Yes. I mean if you're Yes, if you've got the right name If you've got the right name, if you've a a number of or something coming in to... for a part and of of them you've seen on television and done a lot equally or as good or better, but you're gonna be go for that one probably.
[Fred:] That's right.
[speaker001:] An and everything they be... be architects or something, you're gonna pick one who's who... who said well I did that building at London Airport or something like that.
[Janet:] Next thing, next one I'll send in I'm gonna sign it anonymous because my name may dissuade you.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER]
[Fred:] [LAUGHTER] Oh it's a shame because that piece was brilliant, I'm surprised they didn't take that was very good
[speaker001:] Yeah, I'm very surprised about that, I really thought,I I'm
[Fred:] or I was
[speaker001:] but I really thought
[Fred:] particularly the length of time that was away I was really sure that had got on to incidentally it's worth saying that the B B C... re they do they use professional readers who make a report on every piece they receive and they file them. So if ever you read work apiece, and re-submit it, you must change the title... because if... if you send it in, they look up to see if they've seen that title before, if it was rejected before it will be rejected automatically. So if we do a work you must change the title.
[speaker001:] Do magazines do they same?
[Fred:] I don't know. but certainly the B B C do
[speaker001:] It was
[Fred:] It was Ralph was it? Yeah,I I've... well that makes a change you know I mean some of my stuff's come back from them and I've wondered whether they've read it.
[speaker001:] Yes, I've noticed that with magazines, but this was erm sort of er you know. [LAUGHTER]
[Fred:] No, it looks as though
[speaker001:] Do you think Janet should send it to... one of the other regions like Manchester or somewhere
[Fred:] Why don't you, why don't you send it to erm let me see what's her name erm Gilligan Hush
[speaker001:] Gill Gillian yeah
[Fred:] Gilligan Hush of Radio Manchester. They're very keen on new playwrights.
[Janet:] Yeah, but not cockney accents.
[Fred:] Yeah, well give it a try, give it a try. She tries all sorts of accents.
[Janet:] I mean th there's a competition for a monologue for Wales, but who wants I mean
[Fred:] Ah well, give it a go
[Janet:] understand All these
[Fred:] Well give it a go, I mean a monologue is a monologue, they're not saying a Welsh monologue are they?
[Janet:] No.
[Fred:] Well give it I didn't know that, I'm er
[Janet:] Yeah they assess in Writers Monthly [LAUGHTER]
[Fred:] Oh well that
[Janet:] or was it in erm perhaps it was in the that you got.
[speaker001:] Yes, Variety.
[Janet:] Variety.
[Fred:] You see the piece I just read is a monologue and if I'd known there was a competition for it I'd have sent it there... rather than to
[Janet:] Yeah and this is Writers er... erm
[Fred:] Magazine.
[Janet:] Magazine, Writing Magazine
[Fred:] Oh I don't have that one.
[Janet:] Which is part of Writers erm
[Fred:] Writers Weekly I would have thought, Writers News.
[Janet:] Well
[Fred:] Writers News.
[Janet:] Oh, Writers News Yeah, the other one.
[Fred:] Writers News.
[Janet:] Which I might do when this... er present year runs out.
[Fred:] Well I buy Writers Monthly, but I never read the damn thing, you know, so I
[speaker001:] Well this is and I noticed erm sort of do my in this particular one, she said she's interested in North American Indians
[Fred:] Oh.
[speaker001:] Yeah. and... and she said something about through her interest in North American Indians she'd written this novel. She didn't say what it was or who published it or anything, but it made me you know think you know, so I wrote to her care of Writers something and erm asked her... what's the name of it I would like to read it because I had also written something about the er... American Indians and erm... er who's the publisher or what's it called, I'd like to read it. I mentioned just about, and I got this... this erm letter from her.
[Fred:] Oh, good.
[speaker001:] It's erm... letter of passed on to me by. I am pleased you're enjoying my series of articles on writing a novel, hope you gained something from the rest there should be seven in all. My interest in North Plains people in 1750 to 1850 which is about the same... period for the you know cowboys goes back many years to my pre- writing days. The novel mentioned in the second article is a Winter Man Mills and Boon masquerade [LAUGHTER]
[Fred:] Really?
[speaker001:] Mm [LAUGHTER]
[Fred:] [LAUGHTER] Oh well you know where to try then.
[speaker001:] Well I've ordered it at the library because they didn't have, they used to, but it's gone. Erm... and as you will probably be able to deduce from the publisher, is a... an historical romance. It was published in eighty six eighty seven, although it's no longer available in shops, it can still be obtained through the library service [clears throat] if you care to request it, which I have [cough] [clears throat]. I'm afraid I haven't a spare copy to forward to you even on a loan basis, one never allows for the contingencies which arise. [clears throat]. Regarding your own story you state that this is a fantasy, but you don't give details market juvenile, adult, fantasy, supernatural, horror. As a publish writer yourself [clears throat] I told her I've been published articles [LAUGHTER] you will understand the need for market targeting and as you mention at twenty thousand words is not full-length, though this could be if was aimed at children. If it is your first work of fiction of any great length, I think you are doing the right thing putting it forward for appraisal by the Eastern Arts Board, you are lucky in your part of the country to have this. comments you could consider entering it or part of it... in one of the many fiction competitions or submitting it in total to a which takes fiction. If it is your first work of fiction, you should also look at it as part of your groundwork which although it may never see the light of publication, is of great benefit to you as a writer. A brickie does not college N B Qs he needs to build his first house and first novel and immediately becoming an international best seller. Okay occasionally it happens, but I for one am a and I have the unpublishable manuscript in a drawer to prove it. I wish you well with your writing, remember talent is very useful and perseverance is a necessity.
[Fred:] That's very good. Mm.
[speaker001:] Isn't it? Yeah, yeah.
[Fred:] That's very nice of her to write that. I think erm what she's really saying to you is that writing's not an art, writing is a science, bloody hard work.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] Yes.
[Fred:] You know getting on with it.
[speaker001:] Yes. See I didn't write asking sort of advice telling her
[Fred:] No, that's very nice of her No, that's very good.
[speaker001:] So er
[Fred:] That's very nice of her to write
[speaker001:] Yes. And is there anywhere now. Oh yeah, I see it yeah. [lot of people in background talking for one minute] Well when you said something like that, it's not just one person who's gonna have a look is there? Is it? So I mean you have to send one copy, unless they take the bother of the copy they have received may gone to somebody else. No. Yes. I mean what really your hope in looking after that is... is they will come up with some idea of publishing. Well if it's publishable, they Oh that was she was supposed to come today, but she phoned up last week erm... she is gonna come but I don't think that a date has been arranged yet. These are some of the extras standing around on Middlemarch. Oh. It was on wasn't it? Yes. Yeah, it was repeated or something.
[Fred:] Oh, it's brilliant you know I mean er, I've... I've telling him what I've doing this week.
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[Fred:] I've erm
[speaker001:] nice photographs
[Fred:] They are letter and I've read
[speaker001:] I look at the first enjoyed it I mean what the strange thing is that I was reading about...
[Fred:] The writers
[speaker001:] is that [talk in background] Middlemarch at the beginning, she did it in class [too many people talking at once]
[Fred:] Well a word processor is much... much better to use because it's so easy to you've gotta change everything that follows, whereas you know, with a with a word processor you can add paragraphs about words in change words. A word processor is so much more power than a typewriter you wouldn't believe it.
[speaker001:] physiotherapy sort of exercises and that. [people talking at once very difficult to understand 3 minutes] [cough]
[Fred:] Yeah, you've got to go what time?
[speaker001:] Three thirty.
[Fred:] Okay, well do you mind if we take Kath
[speaker001:] No not at all.
[Fred:] You lost them? You can borrow mine. Try mine
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] no it's all right You put them in you
[Fred:] Right. Right now Kath, you can start us off. You wanna Okay Janet You're on.
[Janet:] Am I?
[Fred:] with the glasses
[Janet:] It's not in there. Help.
[speaker001:] Nobody's Did you drop them on the floor? Put them in your pocket?
[Fred:] You read that last piece without glasses thinking about it. No no, you did have them on, no you did have them. Yeah you did have them.
[speaker001:] There's a pair on there. They're mine. [LAUGHTER]
[Fred:] leave the room. Can we erm... can we let Ann have a go then.
[speaker001:] The ashtray [LAUGHTER] yes []
[Fred:] Because the recorder's on.
[Ann:] Well I don't know whether it's good enough for a recorder, but erm... I I the ends a little bit because I was rushed to get her so
[Fred:] Is this your er chapter of your story?
[Ann:] No, it's a short story really.
[Fred:] Oh, fine, fine, fine, good
[Ann:] but it's it's not brilliant, I mean [LAUGHTER] [clears throat]... Art to regain his breath as he stepped through
[Fred:] hang on a second what's the title?
[Ann:] I'm sorry I didn't actually give it one.
[Fred:] Now Ann I keep telling you.
[Ann:] Oh yes I know, I'm sorry. Well shall I call it.
[speaker001:] A short story. [LAUGHTER] Works.
[Ann:] Spring and Autumn or something like that [LAUGHTER]... Art to regain his breath as he stepped through the swing doors into the ordered gloom. Shutting his eyes, he stopped and was there the one he always remembered from his childhood polish, dust, though not so much now as the smell of books. He paused at the counter struggling with the straps of his shopping bag as he laid his self-regulated three weekly books on the counter. She was new medium height, dark with a shiny fringe and big brown eyes. He caught his breath. Mary, no it couldn't be. Good Morning. She looked straight into his faded blue eyes as he slid his books towards her. The smile was exactly the same, but the voice was different, it had a soft fur, Devonshire was it? He couldn't be sure. Thank you he said absent-mindedly and went through to the Natural History. From here he could get a good view of the counter desk. Yes, she looked almost exactly the same, unbelievable. He picked up a huge book... h he picked up a large book with a huge green dinosaur on the front. Strange he thought, there seems to be a current fad around about dinosaurs, there was one on top of a bottle of bath oil one of his grandsons had given to him for Christmas and another was perched on the handle of a nail brush in the bathroom. Toby had a pencil with a blue one on the end it... its scaly tail curled around the pencil and the head was spiked down the neck could be used as a rubber. Odd looking things he said himself quietly. It all happened years ago, can't understand why they brought them up again now. Mrs Blick moving carefully around Natural History in search of something to help an earnest nine year-old with his holidays.... He's on a holiday project her talking to himself. She smiled, over here is her remarks and hoping all was well. Morning Mrs Dear how are you? Fine Mrs. Blick, and yourself? Art nodded politely. He liked Mrs. Blick one of the old school, always addressed by name, a caring sort [paper rustling] Good Morning Mrs B. Over the years their relationship has developed so that Art now called her Mrs B. He had once served at a library committee but that was when her husband was alive many years ago. Didn't know you were interested in dinosaurs she smiled gently teasing him. Their seem to be a lot around at the moment. Really, she laughed. Well you know what I mean knew very well and nodded. Did you enjoy your holiday with the family she asked gently, knowing that Art lived alone now and welcomed the invitations from his eldest son Toby and his wife Lynn. Yes thank you, it's great fun there and the two rascals have got these things everywhere he indicated the dust jacket where a green scaly monster grinned devouringly at both of them. It's pointed teeth remind him of some giant cheese grater with a mind of it's own, face smiling ready to strike. They were on the mantelpiece in the garden even in the bathroom. It was yo-yo's in my time yo-yo's and parasols. I always think a woman looks pretty good under a parasol, even better under a pretty hat, his eyes looked distant. Daphne laughed, I'll see you in a moment she said kindly. Art raised his eyes to the receiving desk, she was standing... she was standing talking to a young man. My how like is Mary she looked so very pretty. The dinosaurs were spying as he replaced the book. He hadn't wanted to learn more about them, not really, ugly things after all and it was a long time ago. He moved into Fiction, checking his favourite thriller author. He always put a very tiny pencil mark on the end papers at the back of every book he read, his very own secret sign. He knew he ought not to mark the books really, but it was only a tiny mark in pencil and no-one could accuse him of defacing library property, not really, it wouldn't do for an ex-library committee member to be caught defacing library property now would it. Art has served his country town well... this country town well, he lived he all his life all in a small cottage down by the river. He'd won a bursary to a local grammar school when he was eleven and then gone on to an apprenticeship with an engineering firm which employed a quarter of the town's local inhabitants. That has sadly gone now, another victim of the recession. Art had always tried to give back what he had gained in life, he felt grateful for what he felt he had to be given, some said he'd achieved a great deal, but in his heart he felt fate had dealt him... with him gently and you have to make the most of the lo of the card life deals you. He as content and his worry was his younger son, if only he would settle down like Toby and Lynn, find a nice girl, make a home. Art checked his books, there were a lot of little marks on the end papers, other readers marking their patch no doubt, defiling narrative as dinosaurs have devoured other less fortunate in the past no doubt. He thought of them, somehow communicating to ea to each of the boroughs through their own little secret signs and realising their flight of fancy. He moved to the counter, you're new aren't you he said. My son's looking for a wife. He stopped, it wasn't his normal behaviour to speak to the staff in so familiar a way, after all he had his dignity. The girl blushed slightly and then laughed, well we're a public library, not a marriage bureau. He paused still looking at her. How like Mary she was, incredible. Out through the swing doors he made to the Rendezvous Coffee House. Daphne was already there... at her regular table. I like the new girl he observed conversationally. Daphne studied the menu a new one, a friendly dinosaur snaked down the side holding the printed menu between its paws. Damn things keep cropping up everywhere Art observed conversationally. She's right nice, just qualified now to college, from Taunton you know, Daphne says steering the conversation in the way she wanted it to go. It's only here temporarily she's only here temporarily she added. Why has she come here for goodness sake Ar Art... barked [clears throat] mentally choosing mushed up mushroom omelette and a roll of butter. What are you having. Grill... grilled plaice Daphne said and coffee. The waitress appeared for their order, jacket sir she enquired as Art placed the order for both of them. Jacket potatoes, yes please Art replied. How's Steve, Daphne well knew the heartache Art's younger son caused him. As well as I'll ever know he replied gruffly. I'm retiring in a few months Daphne said quietly. Retiring, shouldn't have thought you were old enough, Art was brought up with a jolt. What will you do? I've decided to move. Really? Art was surprised. Where are you going? Taunton. Art could not speak, he had become so used to meeting Daphne for lunch once a week, it was part of his life, he felt shocked, strange, bereft. Taunton was where Steven lived, where the lovely young girl in library He looked across at Daphne, she was looking at him searchingly her eyes questioning. I'll be sixty five in two months time Art, it's time for a move, they'll be a lot of time on my hands. Sixty five burst out Art, I didn't think you were anything near that anywhere near that age. Well I am. Daphne's look was indecipherable. But that's not so far off as I am, I thought you were much younger than I. Blushed and took her hand she did not take it away. It puts a different light on things. Does it Art? Toby and Lynn live in Taunton Art observed and Steven's nearby Daphne added. Suddenly the future looked very bright indeed. There... there you go announced the waitress setting two hot plates before them. Art winced at the vocabulary, it was a current phrase he most detested. Daphne chuckled as he gripped his hands. There you go she said.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] What time did you ring me? Well yes I know I tried to pick her up [LAUGHTER] Well yes.
[Fred:] This one describes at the end er you stumbled over yourself, she did not take er....... her hand away you know, if you imagine she... if you make it she didn't take her hand away
[Ann:] Oh yes, yes.
[Fred:] it'll be easier to say.
[Ann:] Okay, fine.
[Fred:] But otherwise
[Ann:] Yes.
[Fred:] it was only that you stumbled over it.
[Janet:] Right.
[speaker001:] Very good.
[Fred:] It was excellent.
[speaker001:] Oh, I always wonder about that, I never know whether it's correct I mean... it certainly sounds better as you said, she didn't take her hand away, but I always find that when I'm writing something down, I'm torn, if it's dialogue I want to say they didn't, couldn't and all things come in. When you're writing it... it you know
[Fred:] Narrative.
[speaker001:] Narrative, I always wonder whether you should not or
[Fred:] Well it depends on the context of the piece I think, I mean if you're dealing with fudd fuddy duddy old people you know who speak you know very precisely, then obviously you'd keep it the one. If you're talking about youngsters and in a modern i in... then in fact abbreviations like that are quite commonly used now in narrative and dialogue... and of course in dialogue I mean
[speaker001:] Well in dialogue it's fine, you can use almost any sort of a figure of speech, but... with narrative it's it was always understood that the words would be spelled out more words would be spelled out more yes. and if you used abbreviation like he'd [spelling] H E apostrophe D [] that was in... that was allowable in the thought... process. Yes As though you know erm... after all head known all about it this is the to himself and by doing that then abbreviated then, that's when the reader was supposed to take it as a thought process rather than a... Yeah.
[Fred:] Er it was... I the only... thing that that brought it to mind was Ann herself stumbled over it as she said it you know playwright
[speaker001:] Well I wonder if it's I wonder if it's one of those things that I mean she's reading the story aloud, I wonder if you were reading that story as as well
[Fred:] Yeah as well
[speaker001:] You read it very quickly and... and it would almost he had it would be he'd or whatever it is that the word was you know that y you Yes, that doesn't flow does it. Yeah.
[Fred:] Mm.
[speaker001:] Sorry I've got to go. Oh. Shame Are you going medical Are you going now? Yeah. I mean you'll come back [LAUGHTER] What is this thing March I can't remember the exact date erm Can you get me the date round then? Yeah I will do. All. No, no. Er see you all.
[Fred:] Okay, bye.
[speaker001:] Bye.
[Fred:] Bye-bye.
[speaker001:] Cheerio. Bye. Bye Kath.
[Fred:] How long did that take you Ann?
[Ann:] Ten minutes.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER]
[Fred:] was it?
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] I find that absolutely... because you know my stories... I can only write so much and then I stop and think about then and then I write some more. It's so difficult to add up the... the hours, but I mean it's a number of days of course it's not working solidly you know, maybe only for an up an hour or an hour.
[Fred:] Well once I've got you know once I've got the shape of the story in my mind I can it down in an hour or so every time you know it's... in long hand, then it takes me hours to type it but er... you know the actual once I've got the idea I... I find it necessary to get it all down you know in long hand as quickly as possible.... Right the other thing Ann you you really must get given you pieces of titles you know because that should steer you into it you know the title should be... be the first peg you hang your hat on, that's the first thing.
[Ann:] I suppose I could it Spring and to Taunton [LAUGHTER] rather than Spring and Autumn
[Fred:] Yes or something like that yeah
[Ann:] [LAUGHTER]
[Fred:] Right, Cybil your go.
[Cybil:] Janet's found her glasses.
[Fred:] Oh, sorry, Janet
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER]
[Fred:] Okay Janet.
[Janet:] Pass me over.... Our great minds thought alike today.
[Fred:] What's that?
[Janet:] Well there's this David Thomas Charitable Trust in Writers News... for a story of s between sixteen and eighteen hundred words with the theme Pride goes before a Fall.
[Fred:] Oh yeah?
[Janet:] So I whipped out something I've done eleven hundred words, re-wrote it and it's now seventeen hundred words... about the house.
[speaker001:] Yeah?
[Janet:] The inanimate objects have been breathed the life into by... It's called For Sale. Elegant and impressive detached residence with large well-stocked garden running down to the river, said the card in the window of the village's estate agent. The house was indeed elegant and certainly impressive, but had an air of haughty arrogance. The passers by stopped to admire her from the large wrought iron gates at the bottom of the drive. She fluttered the strut all and above the windows like eyelashes and all three storeys brick style glowed with pride. The house had been empty for some time now and beginning to feel lonely. Prospective buyers had been shown around, but the house had quickly made up her mind that they were not suitable for such as she. She would know at once when the right people entered the from the moment she looked upon them at the top of the wide staircase. She longed for the time I've just got two in my gardeners. So far though the viewers had not been at all suitable. Some had children that are at an age where there might be a tendency towards vandalism, one of whom had been speedily dealt with by her when he attempted to slide down the oak bannister, kicking her as he went down. He was despatched off the end at great speed and the viewing had to end there and then. A fast exit to the hospital for that lot. She would have no with noevo riche either. not
[Fred:] noevo it's nouveau
[speaker001:] Nouveau yeah
[Janet:] Nouveau. I spelt it wrong that's why [LAUGHTER] I spelt it Spanish [] Nouveau riche either. No here. They would probably knock her insides about to fit in a jacuzzi or the like, not to mention all-night parties and vulgar guests filling every room. No peace and quiet, what a thought. But then she would expl exude an atmosphere, the house could breath evil through her walls if she concentrated hard enough and the smiles would be wiped off the faces of those to whom money was no object. When one of these upstarts had the effrontery to kick her wood panelled walls in the study... I put library in the to see if they were sound, she'd breath such venom through the wall, that his wife shuddered and pulled her fur coat tightly around her, hurrying out of the room saying I wouldn't sleep under this roof for a million. Yes, she would know when to use her charm and warmth, she would know how to use her will-power right vibes when they appear. In the meantime she would continue to give off the appropriate vibes to the unworthy. One more summer term to winter still the house had not looked upon anyone she saw as suitable enough to take on a satisfactory residence within her proud walls, if only she was. Virginia had crept up to her several times trying to be friendly, but each time the house repelled her advances, don't you dare to come near me with those nasty creepy little fingers she smiled, preventing the new young tendrils finding a hold on her walls. Poor Virginia finally collapsed upon herself and quietly died. The flowers of the garden mourned for Virginia Creeper, with nobody to restrain them the flowers had left their beds and were running riot. You've killed her they cried, how could you. How could people admire my form and grace, my naked splendour with that weed clinging and climbing all over me. Yuck, she doesn't even make flowers... and even if she did, she should keep her place in the garden with you lot. The flowers were hurt by these words. What you be without us, they chorused. The house glared down on... on them from her windows, I don't need you. Just you wait until somebody falls in love with me and comes to live here, then it will be off with your heads, your stupid nodding heads she snapped. As winter frost covered the sleeping flowers, the cold silent house was battered by wind and damp by driving rain. Soon the rain began to seep into a hole in the roof where the wind had obligingly removed a couple of slates. She was now damp and depressed, longing for spring to arrive and have someone to talk to again. A wandering tramp climbed into an unlocked ground floor window for a nights sleep out of the icy wind. But the house creaked her floor boards and rattled her windows, moaning with the wind till he picked up his bum and fled into the night shaking with fear as he imagined ghosts. One has one's pride said the house, let him sleep somewhere less grand, he's only a tramp. Eventually the house sensed a excitement of spring in the air, the earth was coming alive again with awakening green shoots peeping through, searching for the warm rays of sunshine. She felt her heart quicken as a car came up the drive and stopped in front of her. This looks promising, a sleek chauffeur driven car. She perked up now. The men that stepped out of the car looked suitable enough at first glance. They stood looking up at her. At last she sighed happily at such a class. She knew she wasn't looking her best at the moment, but they looked the type to know quality when they saw it she thought, as she fluttered he awnings at them, colourless now, tattered and torn by the wind. The men turned and entered her paint-peeled front door. She was bursting with pride and excitement warm and friendly atmosphere as the men wandered from room to room, listening the agent stressing the possibilities of the property. Where are you all off too? We're all running down to the river like you said, they may not find us down there. Tell the others when they awake and they can follow us. Goodbye house. Seeing there was an empty space where the flowers had been... Oh dear me, who can I talk to now, I've been abandoned, left in the lurch, not even a bird to talk to or call my friend. Birds have long since given up trying to nest in her eaves. The space where the flowers had been soon became a thriving mass of weeds. Ivy was the first to reach her walls, unlike little Virginia she wasn't having any nonsense from the proud house. Ivy crept slowly up the walls before the house had even noticed she was there. The nettles were bolder, they bravely marched right up to her very door bringing their friends the docks with them. Soon the dandelions came, all they cared about was blooming, getting their white clocks and blowing their babies far away. They ignored the threats of the house and from everything else, it was just a place to grow. Just you wait and see what's going to happen to you said the bewildered house, weed killer for the lot of you that's what. My people will soon be moving in here. After a few months of wrestling unsuccessfully with the strong weeds, the house was delighted to see activity in the grounds. Men and machinery arrived with a great deal of noise and bustle. They've started to restore my beauty at last she signed with relief. Well dressed men were once again looking up at her, there was also some scruffy ones she noticed, but decided to ignore them. She drew herself up and began fluttering her ragged eyelashes, like an old actress living in her past glory. So intent was she on making a good impression, she failed to see a crane coming towards her. A great shudder went through the old house, as with a sickening crunch the weight hit her front wall. With a gasp of pain and surprise she doubled up. The elegant impressive residence fought to retain her dignity and slowly collapsed upon herself. There was a groan, a sign and then silence. The old houses give you the creeps don't they Bill? Yeah, did you hear that noise hey? Makes you feel like a murderer sometimes this job don't it? Yeah, gives you the willies. Come on then, let's get the rest of it down before we start going daft. Before they could start again there was a sound of breaking glass. One of the young labourers had thrown a brick through a window, the part of the house still standing. Oih you can pack that lark in, Bill was furious. The young lad looked up at them and laughed, what's up with you it's gotta come down innit? Yeah, but give the old girl a bit of respect son. The boy tipped back his yellow helmet and scratched his head. You've been in this job too long mate, you're going senile. Bill laughed, come on Harry let's get this lot down. They hesitated, looked at each other a bit sheepishly and Bill songed away... Just a Little Less Harder Than Before.
[Fred:] You had about half a dozen endings there. Did you notice that, you could of you could have ended about you know the last the last six sentences, you could have ended
[Janet:] I know [LAUGHTER] I could of there wasn't enough words.
[Fred:] N, it's... very good Yeah, heard it before you know.
[Janet:] Very good, you've heard that [clears throat] it was eleven hundred words, I spoke six hundred [LAUGHTER]
[speaker001:] Ah.
[Fred:] That's very good.
[Janet:] So I've added it in the middle, rather than at the end.
[speaker001:] Yeah, I say, it doesn't, doesn't stick at you, where you or anything. No.
[Fred:] No.
[speaker001:] or where you've put them in, it's flowed still.
[Janet:] Yeah, I just pu put in the... house prospective buyers rather than just saying
[Fred:] What are you doing with it there's a competition for what, for a monologue?
[Janet:] No, no it's a... it's for erm... on... er er on the theme of Pride
[Fred:] Of Pride before a Fall
[Janet:] Pride before a Fall.
[speaker001:] Oh, yes.
[Fred:] Oh, it's really good, yeah it's really good, yeah.
[Janet:] So I've left that out.
[Fred:] That's excellent yeah, oh yeah.
[Janet:] [LAUGHTER] Then I thought oh, that as it is and was eleven hundred words like with no
[Fred:] No, you should in a chance with that, that's really good I thought.
[Janet:] Most of it I bunged it back together
[Fred:] last page Janet
[Janet:] Then I re-thought about it and thought oh, I might as well have a go.
[speaker001:] I think it's very original
[Fred:] Yeah really worth the try that, it's really good.
[Janet:] Well it's five hundred pounds, so it's worth a [LAUGHTER] try [].
[Fred:] Oh well. Right.
[speaker001:] if anyone's interested there's another coming out on marriage, so if you want to write a poem, send it off. No, erm poetry now, bringing out another book so Oh I see got the other one on marriage. Oh I see, on marriage. It's on marriage now, but I've only got the one application form. You can... or you may even be able to ring them up and say. That came with my magazine.... Right. I've got it. Yes. I'm just going to read one that's already been published and it doesn't matter if I read it again. Bag Lady [LAUGHTER] I don't mind. The Bag Lady, there's a strange cardboard city the length of the Strand, with people extending or begging hand. For a cup full of tea or a small can of coke, picking up dog ends to get a cheap smoke. The businessmen rushing for trains everyday would throw down some coins where these poor wretches lay. The hand-outs were vital to get them a bite, to help them survive in their pitiful plight. Betsy was lucky she had many friends who relished her company by Old Father Thames, where they all congregated when evening came round, cuddling in clusters all over the ground. Several milk crates of the plastic design will be turned upside down facing a line. For they soon simulated a luxury bed where Betsy could happily place her forehead. Sometimes old Betsy would wander the parks, as hungry for bread as the pigeons and larks, she's scavenge through each of the large litter bins, or anything left in packets or tins. Wherever she went she carried her bag with her personal belongings down to every last rag. A bit of a burden, but she treasured it all, he wealthy possessions screwed up in a ball. In the summer the scene as the sun slowly sank, gave reflections in pink from the long river bank. And the drop-outs enjoying the lovely warm season, when asked why they stay there said this was the reason. But winter was hell with the temperature low and strong winds and rain and occasionally snow. They try to keep warm these tramps and old hags, with the lucky ones owning their own sleeping bags. One morning a policeman while out on his beat, examined some rubbish from which poked two feet. The body inside it was frozen he saw, poor Betsy would wander the city no more. That was in the Poetry published. Yes. [LAUGHTER] That's my lot. Are you sending this again to the... No, it's already published, but if it's gonna be
[Fred:] [cough]
[speaker001:] Sign away your copyright, I don't care, cos I've already had it published. [LAUGHTER] Dos it erm... did you... is that in our anthology as well? No, that is in just the Yes Yes. Yes. That was all.
[Fred:] [whistling]
[speaker001:] Don't look at me. Oh! I haven't done it, well I haven't done any, I have done some, Oh. Because Do you con will you continue that story that I listened to a week before cos I wasn't here last week Yes,I I haven't I... I did half er sort of half finished it. I really must finish the rest of it which I haven't done at the moment, because I've been doing other things. Right.
[Fred:] [whistling]
[speaker001:] We're gonna get on with the
[Fred:] Yeah, come on who's next,
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER]
[Fred:] Sorry, no I was miles away, you've... you've not... you've not done any more?
[speaker001:] I haven't brought it with me.
[Fred:] Oh, well. plenty of writing that, how many pages is that? four [LAUGHTER] four thousand []
[speaker001:] Er two hundred. Two hundred. Nine hundred and sixty seven words that takes about five or six minutes to read it if I can read it in this light.
[Fred:] Hang on let me join
[speaker001:] Yes
[Fred:] How's that, that better?
[speaker001:] That's all right. Call this er a Waste of Life. Oh that's me. The court room at the Old Bailey was hushed dock went in for the jury to return for their verdict. They had been out all morning considering the case. A statement charged with murder the trial having lasted five days. Waiting seemed endless, he was sure that a guilty verdict would be returned. Although the evidence was purely circumstantial, he knew that he had committed this the gravest of crimes. His past life went prosecution of the defence. He had been in trouble for the most part of his life, the eldest of the poor working class family of seven children, he had always been the black sheep. Until he was seven his life at home though poverty stricken had not been too bad. However, at the numbers of the family increased he was more than often ignored. John started getting into trouble at the age of nine stealing from shops. Visits to school were few and far between and it was not long before his parents washed their hands of him. Soon he landed in the juvenile court and was placed into care [tape ends]