[Paul:] Got well loads of homework tonight.
[Ruth:] Got any merit marks today?
[Paul:] Er... one yeah in maths... ooh er for the class work... look at that homework I got two wrong...... and in science... steady... should be... finish.
[Ruth:] Try doing that.
[Paul:] I can't.
[Ruth:] Are you coming to the fair tomorrow?
[Paul:] Yes
[Kevin:] Ah?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Are you going?
[Ruth:] Half past ten to half past twelve.
[Paul:] Is Dad?
[Kevin:] Could do love cos I've gotta get er... Karen's er... card.
[Paul:] What from the fair?
[Kevin:] Yes I might find something there.
[Ruth:] There's some good things but th they don't do cards.
[Paul:] What sort of stalls are there?
[Ruth:] No I got the cakes... Does it look alright Paul?... Could of got the but they're there....
[Paul:] So will we got to that other place Dad?
[Kevin:] Yeah... hopefully... ring up her... ring up er... ticket line... see if it's er... they might be
[Paul:] a day
[Kevin:] about a day... yeah.
[Paul:] day... what is it O eight nine eight one
[Kevin:] O eight nine eight... four hundred three three three.
[Paul:] Alright.
[Kevin:] In that one... Paul and I are going into work, alright?
[Ruth:] Is that alright?
[Kevin:] Yeah he's going to do his homework there.
[Ruth:] I have a
[Kevin:] Yeah I know... you out... Who takes you tonight then?
[Ruth:] Mark... I can't remember... gotta get
[Kevin:] [cough]
[Ruth:] cleared up before Sunday... I've gotta go at nine o'clock tomorrow morning to get the cake.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Twenty third.
[Kevin:] Where's the calendar gone?... Have you got it?
[Ruth:] By the phone... oh no it's this... round the erm... on the table... I might you change you can't go.
[Kevin:] Make a... other meeting.
[Ruth:] Yeah... I've done the booking.
[Kevin:] Well that's alright we can go w whe y you if you're at Mencap... oh you w
[Ruth:] I only said we're getting a lift... and Richard... to write a letter to join the dance.
[Kevin:] Why is tha... why is David involved in that all of a sudden, it's not through us is it?
[Ruth:] I dunno still right
[Paul:] Dad it's the tenth of
[Kevin:] It's very odd isn't it!
[Paul:] December.
[Kevin:] What?
[Paul:] Tenth of December.
[Kevin:] Oh right.
[Ruth:] Oh!... er look I mean it at all unless David gives me a little
[Paul:] May other meeting.
[Ruth:] That's a good reason for David to give me a lift isn't it?
[Kevin:] He won't mind will he?... You'll have all re you'd know where it is, won't you, by then?
[Ruth:] Well I know where it is I just don't know how to get there.
[Paul:] Normal squad for tomorrow.
[Kevin:] Do you hear Gary Lineker's got... his son's got
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] but it it's not life
[Ruth:] Only fourteen
[Kevin:] life endangering though is it
[Ruth:] only fourteen babies under twelve months old get that every year!... God you know you are lucky wouldn't you?
[Kevin:] The irony of it is this is that he... has done a lot, he gave ten thousand
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] pounds, is it, not to the leukaemia was it or w was it?
[Ruth:] Think it was cancer... childhood cancer or something.
[Kevin:] Yeah it's almost though he knew, it weird!
[Ruth:] I mean fourteen babies a year that can
[Paul:] Get Leukaemia?... And as well as his son?
[Ruth:] No ah yeah under twelve months old only fourteen babies a year get it... Oh that's dreadful!
[Paul:] How old's his baby then?
[Kevin:] Well it just shows you how famous he now means you are.
[Ruth:] mail and it says about what a lovely family they are and how... it's gotta
[Kevin:] Shame!
[Ruth:] be good that a such a er erm... show what a perfect family... how they sort of go through it all.
[Kevin:] It said a lot of people who're watching how they react?
[Ruth:] Yeah... by a family who knew them personally not off.
[Paul:] Will he still be playing for Tottenham, Mum?
[Ruth:] Will he still be going to Japan.
[Kevin:] Ask at your your Christian Union about Sunday and bring that up, Sunday lunch... we had a right old... ding dong at work today!
[Ruth:] What about
[Kevin:] Trev
[Ruth:] it?
[Kevin:] Trevor thinks it's... not stopping you going to church... he said.
[Ruth:] True.
[Paul:] Dad can I have your quiz... can I have the quiz.
[Ruth:] No we're gonna do it tomorrow morning... no I won't.
[Paul:] How many questions are you gonna have in it?... Dad?
[Kevin:] What?
[Paul:] How many questions are you gonna have in your quiz?
[Kevin:] Dunno I
[Ruth:] Hello is that John?
[Kevin:] I n I like the new quick ones
[Ruth:] It's Ruth here.
[Kevin:] than the ones in the
[Ruth:] I don't know how to tell you this... [LAUGHTER] I can't I can't []
[Kevin:] lot's of
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] make the tenth []!... Well I I I could but all
[Kevin:] we'll go through go through some papers and start cutting out things
[Ruth:] and I a chair for the
[Kevin:] only thing if I if you do it
[Ruth:] even in the chair for a meeting
[Kevin:] you won't enter the quiz... so what do you wanna do?
[Ruth:] about erm
[Kevin:] Would you rather me do it on my own
[Ruth:] I think
[Kevin:] And then you can enter with... cos I thought about sticking everybody into pairs
[Ruth:] cos they've asked me.
[Paul:] Mean I won't be able to enter the quiz?
[Kevin:] Well you'll know the answers won't you!
[Ruth:] Oh I want that some... if all the social services just put in with the thing having
[Paul:] Please can I a ask the questions?
[Ruth:] a series of six meetings... about this
[Kevin:] Now let's have everything tha I want to aim a at doing any oral questions just
[Paul:] Ah?
[Kevin:] like
[Ruth:] a lot about it and shan't be, frankly I'm relieved I don't actually know a lot but... when the meeting to discuss what we're supposed to do is on December tenth... yo... so I'm a bit torn cos I... in a way that's what I ought to be doing even though the welfare business in a way that's wh... that's what I ought to be doing cos it's... entirely.
[speaker004:] Would you like Paul to buy presents... tomorrow?... For me at the fair?
[Kevin:] Oh... well he says he's got e he's got enough now hasn't he?
[Ruth:] No you want one!... To give to me on Sunday.
[Kevin:] Oh I see.
[Ruth:] Still put that aside.
[Kevin:] Oh Trevor was quite good he di he d he would've got his big pay rise today an didn't... push it too much I don't think... perhaps it's Nick though
[Ruth:] Why's got a big one?
[Kevin:] Well he got promoted didn't he... he's stable now that child though hasn't he?
[Ruth:] Until they start tre tra blurgh they start treatment straight away don't they, these days.
[Paul:] Oh he's only twelve and ended up as one of the... smallest birds
[Kevin:] But it said I heard that it said chemotherapy well what's that's erm drugs is it, no that's radiation isn't it?
[Ruth:] Makes your
[Kevin:] Oh y
[Ruth:] hair fall out...
[Kevin:] well you wouldn't give that to a little baby would they?
[Ruth:] Well you'd have to.
[Kevin:] I thought they washed the blood out... changed all the blood.
[Ruth:] Blood type and that's what that other woman died... girl died of didn't she they
[Kevin:] I was saying to Trevor... it's it's not very nice but it's rather so much better than than than having a cot death isn't it?... If you see what I mean.
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Kevin:] I can actually imagine the feeling of going to a cot and then finding no... no the child was dead, that's awful.
[Ruth:] Done... there was a our school dinners today... I went into this... give you four pounds back I get twenty two pounds sixty... Have you got two tens in change of a twenty?
[Kevin:] I haven't got five pounds
[Ruth:] Have you got two tens you want to change for a twenty Paul?
[Paul:] No sorry.
[Kevin:] That's been quite good that cos you know... I had a hundred and ten pounds left
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Kevin:] I only took out the palace because I knew... I'd given I'd written a cheque for forty
[Ruth:] You'd written out a cheque
[Kevin:] and I've only just started, still got two people outstanding so I've got that forty pound and I put that into the building society and use that forty pounds... for months see... so it kind of like saved it for me, I've managed, had to do without it
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] and er
[Ruth:] When have you got to pay all that.
[Kevin:] What mu... a a th... agent says I only have to pay it off a day...
[Ruth:] How much is it? What just write a cheque?
[Kevin:] Yeah... and that way.
[Ruth:] Well you won't be there on the day.
[Kevin:] Well Dave'll be down there today.
[Ruth:] Well not you can't pay on the night, can you?
[Kevin:] Well I suppose... I'm sure Adrian won't mind if I paid him... the day after or a week after or something.
[Ruth:] You're unemployed I wouldn't have thought you could've stood a hundred and fifty, two hundred pounds withdrawal.
[Kevin:] No I don't mind saying it I I'm not gonna ask any more.
[Ruth:] What?
[Kevin:] Well so that yo... about Adrian... after a few weeks it's... you know
[Ruth:] Remind me to wash in these cupboards before Sunday.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Have you seen Jan and Joan dress up to their their Victorian day... Jan came like a an upright stripped... erm working, not working class a sort of governess right she had
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] frumpy shoes and a.
[Kevin:] Where'd she get the clothes from?
[Ruth:] Oh she borrowed it, and a bonnet and a... white flowers an all and Joan turned up like a... a twenty five year old Victorian fashion model... you should have seen her!... Black silk skirt... maroon... blouse... her hair done up in a bun... draped with gold jewellery oh talk about looking the part!
[Paul:] What's wrong with that?
[Ruth:] And John hired this thing like a cape
[Kevin:] Who's idea is it?... Was it?
[Ruth:] Oh it's it's quite common, everybody does it if you have a vic if you study Victorians anyone who a Victorian... and they all they did all done out, chairs er table space at the front, they did drill in the playground... they played with tops and hoops in the playground, all the children... the m parents hired costumes from Fairy Godmothers... Fairy Godmother's done a roaring trade especially
[Kevin:] Ah I should think Fairy Godmothers put the ideas into somebody's head, I would have thought.
[Ruth:] That's not
[Paul:] We might
[Kevin:] It's just a very good way of er teaching chi I mean children will I mean that's the kind of experience
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] you never forget, do you?
[Ruth:] Some of... but you can't do it for something like a Medieval's day or Roman
[Kevin:] No.
[Ruth:] day it'd be grim, but Victorian
[Kevin:] Victorian
[Ruth:] people have got a, yeah
[Kevin:] just close enough to sti still remember a lot of the cloths and stuff.
[Ruth:] and they had to they had to sit in rows and they had to do as they were told and they weren't allowed
[Kevin:] Ha!
[Ruth:] to speak.
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Ruth:] Apparently some of the children got quite scared of Jan cos Jan played the part so well... ah Joan for life.
[Kevin:] Frightened the life out of them.
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Paul:] [singing] Ah back ah back ah back and bill [].
[Kevin:] So what did John look like perhaps like a little Billy Bunter didn't he?
[Ruth:] Ah no he looked very good he had a gown and a mortar board and cane... and bow tie... and pin striped socks, quite good, yep.
[Kevin:] And they wore that all day all of them all day?
[Ruth:] All day and then he got all to do... at lunch time... yeah they kept it up all the day, they had separate play time, they had had to eat their lunch in the class room... all they were allowed was a piece of fruit, a bread and water... and they all had to have, you know, they had a bread roll... supplied by the school... an a an apple I think...... And Jan made them write out their names and some of them couldn't write their name!... Boy called Daniel couldn't write Daniel cos all last year he'd been allowed to put Danny... an he'd forgotten how to write Daniel!
[Kevin:] Search me! How old's that child?
[Ruth:] Ten and John
[Kevin:] And he can't
[Ruth:] that's what's so dreadful, Joe was language coordinator and they came from her!
[Kevin:] Can't write names.
[Ruth:] And another boys name was Thomas... and he couldn't write that cos all last year he'd been Tom... an he'd forgotten how to write his surname... they're not dim children... both of them
[Kevin:] Frightening isn't it?
[Ruth:] family... she says... quite an eye opener... an they had write lines if they did anything wrong... one boy just... I reckon she could carried him but
[Kevin:] No.
[Ruth:] You can't be three times...... Where's tonight gone?... All this stuff in out here shall I?
[Kevin:] You think you're exhausted after a days work imagine if you've been doing that all day long, shouting
[Ruth:] Look!
[Kevin:] and shrieking, no I mean that
[Ruth:] I shout and shriek all day long!... Ooh I'll lose my voice up there today... we've done some really good things though... try and do see more my hall is very full... if he bothered to come to school he'd have seen them!... Still find those... what's this that's broken from?
[Paul:] But Mummy you could
[Ruth:] Paul spikes.
[Paul:] Excuse me!... You took them and I want the batteries for them.
[Ruth:] Some people go round
[Paul:] You asked me for them.
[Ruth:] in science books
[Paul:] Excuse me!
[Ruth:] What does it say?
[Paul:] Fourteen and a half.
[Ruth:] Were they marked?
[Paul:] No... look at this here.
[Ruth:] Don't like the smell of your Narcissus.
[Kevin:] Well go and won't they.
[Ruth:] Don't like the smell. Somebody look!... Can you see it?
[Paul:] [singing] Let's go [].
[Kevin:] Oh well neat!
[Ruth:] You know I can't see from that distance... I thought John had a snowman badge on today, when I got close it's an owl and it said I am the vet.
[Kevin:] He enters into th the to the fray doesn't he with it er
[Ruth:] No he's got a grey jumper with an owl... Beaky... on it... all over the front... and a mortar board on the owl.
[Kevin:] Did they have to ask him to do that or did he just volunteer.
[Ruth:] Oh probably just did it... Do you know what Terry's... do you know what one of my children did today?... do you know what did... apart from the fact he spent all day crying... then he had to do the corrections, I said go back and do your corrections, said right on your own... I wrote something that went no homework done, so he wrote no homework done, [LAUGHTER] no homework done, no homework done []!
[Kevin:] Oh no! er!
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] I can just scream []!... Ah... spent all day weeping today... with one thing and another when he weeps
[Kevin:] Why cos you keep telling him off?
[Ruth:] he oh!... They'd write a poem for her about my greatest fear, I said I remember last year there was a boy called Ali and he wrote a story about [sniff]... a poem about this bird and cos he was really scared of that and so I said I don't suppose any of you will write about being scared of me... except perhaps Adine!
[Kevin:] Eh.
[Ruth:] All Americans go Eh... [yawn]... Nine o'clock tomorrow I'm going over to Kate... ten thirty that gives me a bit of lee-way... I've got a at ten I thought it was ten thirty... I ought to get some money out really... You're not going into Woking tomorrow morning... are you doing your quiz?... Do you want some help with it, not really.
[Kevin:] Well I was gonna paper out and start cutting out some faces I think... cos I mean a I may just as well I mean I was quite happy to let Paul... help me out but then
[Ruth:] He can't take part.
[Kevin:] he can't enter the quiz then
[Ruth:] No you should do it
[Kevin:] but he shan't
[Ruth:] all yourself and then
[Kevin:] I don't think I'm gonna do as much as I'm just gonna do
[Ruth:] No cos you won't
[Kevin:] a big stream of... pictures... right
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] and them I'm gonna think I'm gonna do the same... South America
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] but do South American you know get some big ones
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Kevin:] in... that might be fun mighten't it?
[Ruth:] Yeah I can't do it with you.
[Paul:] And you could already write up in red pen... you sort it out... instead of arguing about trying to do it.
[Kevin:] Yeah... you could u u or split up the to start.
[Ruth:] some proverbs, I can't think... can you complete these proverbs... good book up there for that... I don't know at all, there's something wrong... Ooh this looks really good... got look at this book, all the streets... it's got like... The House of Commons... and The House of Lords...
[Kevin:] Oh yeah!
[Ruth:] Take you brilliant book that...
[Kevin:] Alright.
[Ruth:] I'm at school you can smell it... in the book
[Paul:] [cough]
[Ruth:] it's got all proverbs and what things mean.
[Kevin:] What's all this then.
[Ruth:] Well they're proverbs aren't they.
[Kevin:] All of them or
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] single ones?
[Ruth:] Well all sorts, let... sleeping dogs lie, the ones that underline them as... I've underlined in biro.
[Kevin:] Where did you get that
[Ruth:] Sort of big words for little words... that's a big word, you have to think of an addition, I've had it in... nineteen fifty eight it is or nineteen sixty three... geographical facts
[Kevin:] Oh yeah.
[Ruth:] peoples of other land, look all the people that come from
[Paul:] Mum, how do I get
[Kevin:] Are you sure it's up-to-date though?
[Ruth:] Well you bu you'll know if it isn't.
[Paul:] Dad?
[Kevin:] Sorry.
[Paul:] Spell deceased.
[Kevin:] Deceased, D E C E A S E D.
[Ruth:] Look, masculine, feminine... Kevin... masculine, feminine some of them are really hard... Zar, Marino... distinctive name given to some countries, look... the dairy of Northern Europe, Debonair... cut your nails down!
[Kevin:] Urgh!
[Ruth:] Look famous... famous founders, pioneers Africa for east or west... I think it'd be there today... the muses... do you know what that says?
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Ruth:] Any more famous faces... oh you're gonna do up?
[Kevin:] No I was wa er... what... what the other guys did he's gone through a whole load of newspapers cutting peoples faces out
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] some a little quite obscure
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Kevin:] and... just stuck it in little boxes, like little boxes and
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] that put it underneath... that's all I'm gonna do is, do I I'll measure the framework
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] and stick them on photographs an filling in a the names underneath.
[Ruth:] Of who you think it is.
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Ruth:] seen them really.
[Kevin:] Ish... so that it
[Ruth:] score
[Kevin:] The la funny enough they had Gasgcoigne... and the picture was so poor it looked... people put things like... oh you know er... Edna Everage... things like that and he ju, he looked like
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] a woman and he the really
[Ruth:] You know you're of pictures now then.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] So you're gonna photocopy this or are you just doing one original one?
[Kevin:] No I'm gonna photocopy it.
[Ruth:] Are they free?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] about going
[Kevin:] cos I've got tomorrow as well.
[Ruth:] Well you're at football tomorrow.
[Kevin:] Yeah not all day.
[Ruth:] Virtually... watching Boon... I've got some A two paper I think.
[Kevin:] Ah... don't look!
[Ruth:] Even if I looked I wouldn't know... gotta be fairly small pictures haven't they?
[Paul:] How do you spell disappearance?
[Kevin:] Yeah... [cough] aha... go over there
[Ruth:] D I S A double P E A R A N C E
[Kevin:] cos you're far too near whe wha I'm... what I'm doing.
[Paul:] And again.
[Ruth:] D I S A double P E A R... A N C E.
[Kevin:] Do you want a coffee Ruthy?
[Ruth:] [shouting] Yes please []... I'll have a... Maxwell House cappuccino.
[Paul:] have some women in it.
[Kevin:] Ooh it's a good one, there's some really obscure ones!
[Paul:] Do some of the things you'd know!
[Ruth:] Just because you've got some imbeciles coming!
[Paul:] Who are they?
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] Well mainly the children [].
[Paul:] Dunno them.
[Kevin:] Your
[Ruth:] Your cousins.
[Kevin:] I'll do a full face on that one... cos that's hard.
[Paul:] What is it?
[Ruth:] Knowing Yvonne she'll hee hee!
[Kevin:] Actually it's surprising how many faces you can get... just looking at cheap newspapers you see, incredible!... You think ooh that's well done... quite easy.
[Ruth:] Oh did you do...... [LAUGHTER]... Kettle's boiled... Kettle's boiled... It's only three weeks since the last party this is all for Jim's benefit isn't it.
[Kevin:] I thought this has co ro come round quite soon.
[Ruth:] Well she goes... June come on, could have had it next Friday I think something must be happening next Friday, she goes to Australia... on the seventh... well maybe that is next Friday... Oh no it's the isn't it?
[Kevin:] So she can't come to the?
[Ruth:] Cos the sixth is next Friday... no.
[Kevin:] It's just as well cos she's bound to say something about my quiches!
[Ruth:] Ha ha ha!... [LAUGHTER].
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER].
[Ruth:] Gosh how much have you got Paul?
[Paul:] Lots.
[Ruth:] You do it all tonight?
[Paul:] No.
[Ruth:] Why?
[Paul:] Erm... I can't.
[Ruth:] You can't do any tomorrow... can't do any on Sunday... I suggest you do it all tonight.
[Paul:] Can't.
[Kevin:] You don't about this cappuccino is... I don't understand is that here Maxwell cappuccino... is
[Ruth:] You can't open the packet.
[Kevin:] twice the volume
[Ruth:] Yeah, but twice
[Kevin:] that's right much more powder than you use
[Ruth:] We I know you can't open the packets, it's stupid!... Honestly Paul you won't have time to do it tomorrow and Sunday... well you can work 'till nine o'clock tonight.
[Paul:] How much, can I?
[Ruth:] You can work 'till nine o'clock tonight.
[speaker004:] These Narcissi are really strong.
[Kevin:] Sorry?
[Ruth:] Cor they're really strong.
[Kevin:] Ooh yeah... aren't they.
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Kevin:] I don't they're going to grow that tall, somehow but... gone up straight as a dye haven't they?
[Ruth:] I can't put them down there to begin with, I think they all... draw up
[Kevin:] Hey
[Ruth:] than lower down.
[Kevin:] My hic hyacinths have all come out except... no, they've all come out, one goron l looks like it's... gone and lot congealed... little bad... and another hyacinth has... two have come up and other ones not come up at all.
[Ruth:] You haven't had as many as usual have you?
[Kevin:] Well... no not perhaps as many as last year.
[Ruth:] I'm gonna have to go in this afternoon again.
[speaker004:] What did I do with the scissors?
[Ruth:] Took them out to make the tea... did you get any biscuits?
[Kevin:] No... except for some.
[Ruth:] There's some Kit-Kats up there.
[Kevin:] Well you're not having any.
[Ruth:] I wouldn't mind one.
[Kevin:] No... Pauline
[Ruth:] Just one.
[Kevin:] would agree.
[Ruth:] I'm nine two this morning on the scales, I'll have you know.
[Kevin:] Wanna a Kit-Kat Pauly?
[Paul:] Yes please... How do you spell whereabouts?
[Ruth:] W H E R E A B O U T S... seems to be a lack of spelling at your, this place... Ah!
[Kevin:] Urgh!
[Ruth:] Put plenty of royalty in.
[Kevin:] Are you looking?
[Ruth:] Oh no, why should I!... Trouble is Paul I wouldn't cheat.
[Kevin:] She's... you Pauly.
[Paul:] I won't cheat!
[Ruth:] You'd love to though.
[Paul:] Why?
[Ruth:] I gave my top group your algebra homework today... they said... Pau is this Paul's homework, I said yes... that's not fair... I said why isn't it fair?... Well it's too hard, I said how do you know it's too hard?... And they all did it... apart from Chris... who said... urgh she always works us too hard!... Apart from Christopher... most of them managed it Paul... especially Richard he's really clever... I know who that is, Lady Di.
[Kevin:] Shut up Ruthy!
[Paul:] Is this one Lady Di?... Is Mum not entering it then?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Course I am.
[Paul:] Then why are you looking?
[Ruth:] I'm not looking Paul... don't tar everybody with the same brush.
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] Pardon, don't tar everybody with the same brush.
[Kevin:] Ooh pardon me!
[Paul:] What's that mean?
[Ruth:] That means just cos you're likely to cheat don't assume that everyone else does.
[Paul:] Then why did you say Princess Diana?... I know that's Princess Diana.
[Ruth:] Cos I see him cut it out.
[Paul:] So you were looking in the first place!
[Kevin:] No you were looking at the Mal Vicinty
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]... Vicinty
[Ruth:] Spell Vicinty
[Paul:] I don't [LAUGHTER] know, about it [].
[Ruth:] Will I have to pull up any of those caps heads before your Mum comes round?
[Kevin:] No.
[Ruth:] We were just hanging around talking today and the children done Christmas card competition an... wi some really and me and
[Paul:] [shouting] Ah! []
[Ruth:] Moira
[Paul:] [shouting] []!
[Ruth:] and and Joanne Joe, say who could judge this, this is for our competition we'll say Heidi coming, no, is anybody else in it, no... er Sarah'll come in cos she doesn't know, right?... So John came up and we said er we were wondering who could judge th Christmas card competition and he was saying oh I don't know, and then th the P T A chairman came up... erm we said oh perhaps you should judge the Christmas card competition... erm... and she said... well Melissa is judging it... and we said Pardon!... Then John,, said well didn't you ask her this morning then!... And Joan says oh no I forgot!... Well... and even that didn't jog his memory, that he should have asked her to judge it!
[Kevin:] What a dozy!
[Ruth:] You know
[Paul:] Who's judging it then?
[Ruth:] Well Mary going to judge it and, would he let her do it on her own, no... he followed her round, making comments here, making comments there, trying to influence her... fact is, this' ll make you laugh, you know the wall displays... you know th erm the books, Where's Wally... Where's Wally... you have this... page, of really tiny little things and you have to find Wally, who's... a person, right?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] In minute detail, hidden on the page is something, you remember how Simon had books like that
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] In where's Lisa, Where's Freddie, anyway it's Where's Wally, for that... he said er... I think I'll get a picture of somebody... and er course he... I said you gonna call it Where's Wally? He said no I'm wanna call it Where's the Wally!... Milly said... cos we'd been talking about this all day and they, the children had been saying to John... you gonna have a picture of yourself in Where's the Wally thing?... And erm... Milly said ha can't think of a more suitable candidate [LAUGHTER] and swept off []!... If you don't want the car I'll drive to school tomorrow.
[Kevin:] What?
[Ruth:] I said if you don't want the car I'll drive Paul and myself to school tomorrow.
[Kevin:] Just thought Mu Mum's got this newspaper so she might,s know some of them photographs.
[Ruth:] Well then it's not fair, use a different newspaper.
[Kevin:] Well I haven't got them.
[Ruth:] We got our local papers, aren't there any in there?
[Paul:] Doesn't matter.
[Ruth:] You get... yes you do you get pictures of pop stars and that in The
[Kevin:] Yeah?
[Ruth:] Mail.
[Kevin:] Right.
[Ruth:] And you can have... my magazines
[Kevin:] That's a hard one.
[Ruth:] as well if you want... The Express and The Mail have much the same pictures... [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]... Got a football magazine and a Woman... you can have a football, I can't u... look
[Kevin:] Still get some wrong it don't matter anyway does it.
[Paul:] Football will be there for children won't it?
[Kevin:] Yes that's what I mean, I noticed that the man who did it balanced it rather nicely, he had some... actors... some... politicians, that everyone can contribute... especially in a.
[Ruth:] except for me... If you think my general knowledge is abysmal!
[Kevin:] Abysmal!
[Ruth:] Erm after football's done, then it must be us.
[Kevin:] .
[Ruth:] Will you tell Paul he's gotta finish his homework tonight, if he can't do any tomorrow... he can't do any on Sunday... Not cutting off their hair?
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Paul:] Let's see.
[Ruth:] Not allowed to look... Can I read that?
[Paul:] No.
[Ruth:] Please?
[Paul:] No.
[Ruth:] Why is it illiterate?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Hurry up with the scissors Pauly.
[Paul:] Why the rush?
[Ruth:] Got a pen?
[Kevin:] Cutting out like mad here.
[Ruth:] Have you got a pen?... anything that writes Paul?
[Paul:] No, anyway you didn't ask me!
[Ruth:] I have.
[Paul:] Then in there and get it!
[Ruth:] How much did you pay for this pen in the market?... It's got a loose nib!
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] This pen you bought in the market has got a loose nib. How many you got?
[Kevin:] Oh, still waiting for the scissors.
[Ruth:] Oh Paul!
[Paul:] What?... What is the matter?
[Ruth:] Daddy wants the scissors.
[Paul:] Well I'm sorry!
[Ruth:] Not very.
[Paul:] Ha.
[Kevin:] Don't throw scissors, ooh it's very dangerous.
[Ruth:] Paul!
[Paul:] Well you shouldn't keep taking them!
[Ruth:] Tell you what you can have a pair for Christmas instead of a computer.
[Paul:] Oh yes please!
[Ruth:] There's a pair there... look... paper's there.
[Kevin:] [shouting] You saw then... you were looking []!
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] I'm not [].
[Kevin:] [shouting] You were []!... See you can't be trusted.
[Ruth:] Ray Wilkins... [LAUGHTER] Is it []?
[Kevin:] Oh that is ridiculous!
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] Sorry []... I just.
[Kevin:] That's it!... See you can't be trusted, you're a... you get quite upset when you get accused... and Pauly quite rightly accuses you.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] I caught her looking Paul.
[Paul:] She's always looking!... She'll always look up... Got a Pritt stick?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Where is it.
[Kevin:] Usual place.
[Paul:] Where's the usual place?... Where's the usual place?... Can't... it isn't... pardon?... Where in there
[Kevin:] [whispering] []
[Paul:] [whispering] Is it in there? []
[Kevin:] [whispering] It is [].
[Paul:] Was she looking?... She was looking at what, Ray Wilkins. Well how do you know of Ray Wilkins?
[Kevin:] Well cos she called it out.
[Ruth:] pay my attention to it, I look harder.
[Paul:] She. Stop making silly noises then!... She'll be... Ferrero Roche.
[Ruth:] I'm really not... Hey how about getting erm... if I can get there early enough... individual Christmas cakes... they were gonna sell them for
[Kevin:] Oh yeah.
[Ruth:] two pounds each... individual iced Christmas cakes like this.
[Paul:] Cheap.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] I want one of them... might be nice for Natty.
[Kevin:] [cough]
[Ruth:] Keep it in the box.
[Paul:] [singing] boing! De er der der der der [].
[speaker004:] You're on still, look!
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Yes you're on, no you're off.
[Paul:] Dad?
[Kevin:] Eh?
[Paul:] I... today did you do one bulls eye... no not... cut up the thing and say which sport does this person belong to... might get a picture of Rob Andrews... see if they stick rugby or tennis on.
[Ruth:] Yes Paul... that'll be a bit unfair for the other twenty nine people around wouldn't it?
[Paul:] What other twenty nine people round?
[Ruth:] Ah!... Then you'd know all the answers.
[Paul:] Can't do one for everything!
[Ruth:] I think you should have a music one.
[Kevin:] One or two I... I know now... I'm writing them down and.
[Ruth:] Ha ha... I'm in at... tomorrow morning I'm hoping when I wake up I wanna nice and
[Paul:] So what time do I need to wake up?
[Ruth:] From the fair?... Not very early, you can sleep in I've gotta go to Waitrose to pick up the stuff.
[Paul:] Sleep into when?
[Ruth:] Well ten o'clock.
[Paul:] Ten o'clock!
[Ruth:] Oh hang on I'm leaving at ten cos I want to be there a little early... and start them but I hope to get some perks.
[Paul:] Nine okay?... Wake up at nine?
[Ruth:] Yeah I'm going to Waitrose at nine.
[Kevin:] So which fair is this... at school is it?
[Ruth:] Yeah, what do you think I'm talking about!
[Kevin:] Oh I don't know I heard it's a craft fair, that's all I heard.
[Paul:] All this time Daddy thinks it's a like
[Kevin:] No I said it's a... lovely craft fair.
[Ruth:] It's called Christmas fair but you and Darren have got a stall so... ah
[Kevin:] Why did you know what to do there then?
[Ruth:] I already bought a children's thirty five pee each.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Zoe said... are they for your little... said which little fun are you talking about Zoe?... Said yes they're both for Paul ha ha!
[Paul:] Little... Look at those brilliant grafts Mum... double grafts they're called... Hobart and Darwin.
[Ruth:] Why are they called double grafts?
[Paul:] They're not called double they've sort of got a about rainfall and temperature.
[Ruth:] Oh and they show two things... so y you'll have to see if there's any correlation between the two... is there any correlation between rainfall and temperature, and is there?... When rainfall goes up does temperature up and vice versa?
[Paul:] Dunno just gotta describe them.
[Ruth:] Well that's what you have to say, is there any correlation between
[Paul:] What does correlation mean?
[Ruth:] They all correlate.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] It's connection isn't it Kev?
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Paul:] Yeah... and you've gotta see
[Ruth:] That's level six, you should be doing that.
[Paul:] What's level six?
[Ruth:] Well correlation I've just done that with all my children, you should be level six, no good doing it, you should be it... Want you to do two pieces of work for Monday and... all the same level, so there's an extra... two you've got to do.
[Paul:] And what homework do you, what do they get... what homework do they get over Christmas?
[Ruth:] They get... poem, my greatest fear... and they get a project homework from Lynn.
[Paul:] So how many homeworks do they get, two?
[Ruth:] Yeah... how many have you got?
[Paul:] Five.
[Ruth:] Rubbish! Clap trap!... That word would go down well.
[Paul:] You know that lady that did the thing so Lary... what did you w and you say the children w meant... knew what it meant, what did they say it meant?
[Ruth:] Well... sort of meant all knowing.
[Paul:] No... Lary means something like... it's sort of like... someone... mm
[Ruth:] Ah you know that word as well.
[Paul:] Yeah
[Ruth:] Well how do you spell it?
[Paul:] L a r y.
[Ruth:] L a r y?
[Paul:] Yes... it it's Lary, it's sort of like... someone insults you like they er... you've only got four toes... and so I'll say... that's well Lary!... And then y... but I take that then
[Ruth:] What like an insult?
[Paul:] Lary, yeah... like... hey you when and got too Lary!
[Kevin:] Sounds like Aunty Sheila's mardy
[Paul:] Got it?
[Kevin:] she says mardy don't she?
[Paul:] Lary everyone's going oh that's Lary... but
[Ruth:] Well I've never heard of it and they I said
[Paul:] But and you called James... a moron or something like that
[Ruth:] Yeah but
[Paul:] he goes
[Ruth:] moron
[Paul:] but he goes
[Ruth:] we know what moron means.
[Paul:] but he goes oh that's Lary!... You shouldn't take that word, well
[Ruth:] What you unkind?
[Paul:] No
[Ruth:] I do
[Paul:] No Lary.
[Ruth:] Rude?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] No I'm sure he didn't mean rude.
[Paul:] Not unkind, it's like... you shouldn't take that from him that's... bad... get him out... [singing] ding da ding ding ding ding ding... boo boo diddle erm, doo doo doo doo diddle erm... dum dum dum diddle erm... ding ding diddle er er... diddle er yeah yeah... doo diddle erm... doo doo dee dee... dee... boom boom diddle erm boom [].
[Ruth:] Hurry up!
[Paul:] I'm moving, I'm scrooving, I'm dooving... this is hard, got to take all these notes and just put them into all... sort of... a summary.
[Ruth:] Spell summary.
[Paul:] S u m m a r y... today is Saturday.
[Ruth:] Is there any connection... why have you coloured it in red biro!
[Paul:] And oh... I don't really know.
[Ruth:] That doesn't show anything!... Yet the January, February, March the temperature is... high... which is temperature... I can't tell by looking at that, which one's temperature and which one's rainfall.
[Paul:] That's temperature and that's rainfall.
[Ruth:] Yeah but which line refers to which, how can I tell?... You need to put the dotted line there... and square there
[Paul:] No you can look like that.
[Ruth:] How?
[Paul:] Rain, ten millimetres of rain equals one millimetre... ten of rain equals one millimetre and this one... one degrees... celsius... equals
[Ruth:] Well I'm sorry... I don't think that is very clever... for you!
[Paul:] there and
[Ruth:] one degrees, how can temperature
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] one degree celsius equals one millimetre
[Paul:] Yes.
[Ruth:] So it's twenty five degrees celsius in January?
[Paul:] No.
[Ruth:] Well I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to put some sort of... clue on it.
[Kevin:] We've got twelve people coming, right?
[Ruth:] Er yep... what's that gotta do with anything?
[Kevin:] Well cos I'm gonna have... pairs... I think here
[Ruth:] And one you!
[Kevin:] Oh... singles then?... It's more
[Ruth:] No
[Kevin:] fun in pairs isn't it cos the people can have the scraggle and talk to each other.
[Ruth:] You'll have to have pairs and put one three.
[Paul:] Chips.
[Kevin:] Well that's not fair then.
[Ruth:] Put Michael with
[Kevin:] Oh yeah
[Ruth:] if you put Michael with two other people, it's completely fair.
[Paul:] But then your implying something aren't you.
[Ruth:] Why don't you say if you're a child... you can go in a group of three, if your adults you'll have to be in a group of two, so the children can attach themselves to any group.
[Kevin:] Right.
[Paul:] Right.
[Ruth:] You've got eleven people you need four groups... you don't have four groups it's not worth doing is it?
[Paul:] Gotta share it all out perfect even... why don't you say, stick it on the wall, give them each a piece of paper and they've gotta do it... I've got an idea, you can compile a quiz
[Ruth:] Fine I'm
[Paul:] and then you could have a treasure hunt for the children
[Ruth:] you know
[Kevin:] Couldn't I.
[Ruth:] Most amusing
[Kevin:] [whistling]
[Paul:] Are you gonna sort of read out the question and they each gonna scribble down their answer.
[Kevin:] Nope.
[Paul:] What you gonna do?
[Ruth:] No, just leave
[Kevin:] Have a chart.
[Ruth:] your father!
[Paul:] What?
[Kevin:] Have a chart.
[Ruth:] Heart.
[Paul:] You'll let people... overlook each other then... sort of overlooking
[Ruth:] Cheating you mean!
[Kevin:] Yes I mean that's the first thing you have to say, you have to think... when you look at... you keep, anybody who does the whispering
[Ruth:] Is Mum.
[Kevin:] is giving their answers away... in fact, what we did, the team of four, is they all had a little pad of paper, if you spotted something you knew, you went... and you wrote it down... because people we there.
[Ruth:] You did it in silence.
[Kevin:] Yeah... tried to do... and they obviously can't.
[Ruth:] Why aren't you gonna for faces.
[Kevin:] Well this th this is the the faces and I thought I'd do the maps and the rest were questions I don't know whether y... should do some questions.
[Ruth:] Well you'll have to think of some.
[Kevin:] Yeah... I'll see how I go any
[Ruth:] You got the maps of South America?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] I've got one at work... a blank, you should of asked me for it.
[Kevin:] What all split up, yeah?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Ruth:] I could get it tomorrow morning... in my
[Kevin:] Yeah could you?... Blanked out without the er the countries names
[Ruth:] Yes
[Kevin:] in it?... Oh yeah.
[Ruth:] I've got all the countries blanks... might not oh I might not even have the countries on but if you had blanks you could put countries in, that'll be easier than
[Kevin:] No that'll be harder.
[Ruth:] No... what the boundaries?
[Kevin:] Yes... because if you've got the scale... you just drop, trace it all off... where as you got the you've the you gotta sort out work out... i th the scale of everything, haven't you?
[Ruth:] No you just draw the lines.
[Kevin:] Yeah but how do you ge
[Ruth:] What scale?
[Kevin:] How you going to know exactly where the boundaries go or i in between some land-lock countries... that you got it in the right position
[Ruth:] How many land-lock countries are there in South America?
[Kevin:] Well enough anyway, I mean I thought you were giving me something easier to do not
[Ruth:] Well I think... why would you do it tonight if I didn't have it?
[Kevin:] Yes
[Ruth:] Say I didn't have it tomorrow you'd
[Kevin:] well
[Ruth:] do it tonight?
[Kevin:] probably ni or tomorrow I was gonna do that.
[Paul:] I seem to think you should take the easy bit, cos that's gonna be miles too hard!
[Kevin:] No I like to balance it, I ju there's some balance there, there's some easy ones and some hard ones.
[Ruth:] I'll tell you what's best for Michael.
[Paul:] I don't feel that's very good... because you're just gonna get children totally pull out of it unless they're
[Ruth:] No.
[Paul:] really really good.
[Ruth:] Children are allowed to go
[Kevin:] You find that if if if i in a team, if there's teams... i you find that in a singles, but if there's a team e if everybody feels the everybody feels they can contribute something to it... when you've got
[Ruth:] You can have those
[Paul:] allowed to be the idea of that, you don't wanna make it
[Kevin:] Yeah I know
[Paul:] too easy
[Ruth:] No there are no husbands allowed to be with any wife... and children can attach themselves to which group they want.
[Paul:] So work out the groups, you work out the groups.
[Ruth:] Well there's going to be... apart from your father there's going to be seven adults.
[Paul:] Listen, a man with a woman... but not wi not... by marriage... cos say like Andy with Nanna
[Ruth:] Well I could go with two children, I expect.
[Kevin:] Well write down the names let's have a go at, let's work out, let's work out the teams
[Ruth:] Cos I'm the cleverest person, I can go with two teenies!
[Kevin:] lo, write down the names.
[Paul:] Modest!
[Ruth:] No and I could be the only adult with two children cos I'm so clever.
[Kevin:] Write down the names and th work out some balanced teams then for me please.
[Ruth:] Ah, give me a pen!
[Paul:] I'll write it out with her.
[Ruth:] Can I, thank you.
[Kevin:] Then people don't argue then do they, if they say look that's the team then th people are h happy.
[Ruth:] There's Nanna and Margarite, if I find him another
[Kevin:] Yes, they don't know cos they're both Daily Mail readers and I'm cutting the majority of these out.
[Paul:] And... and maybe an adult
[Kevin:] Don't put
[Ruth:] No four groups, is all you'll get out of twelve people.
[Kevin:] don't put Michelle and Andy together.
[Paul:] I'm not?
[Ruth:] Don't put
[Paul:] Papa a Nanna and
[Ruth:] er Adrian
[Paul:] And Kevin with Andrew... yeah... no not Kev and Andrew because
[Ruth:] erm Mooty
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Mooty and Michelle
[Paul:] Hang on... i
[Ruth:] What other adult is there? There's only me
[Paul:] Is Karen quite good?
[Ruth:] One, two
[Kevin:] Yes Karen is
[Ruth:] three, four
[Kevin:] will be as sharp as iron
[Paul:] Can I be with Papa then?
[Ruth:] It'll have to be me with Papa.
[Paul:] Okay....
[Ruth:] That's the eight adults.
[Kevin:] Who're you putting Karen with? Be careful cos Karen is the
[Ruth:] Andy.
[Paul:] Andy.
[Kevin:] No that's far tha well think again isn't that
[Paul:] Nanna and
[Ruth:] Michelle and Mooty, why you think that's too clever?
[Kevin:] Andy an... Andy and Karen will... streak through.
[Ruth:] What better than Michelle and Mooty?
[Kevin:] I bet you.
[Ruth:] She generations though.
[Kevin:] I bet I'll give you a bet... Karen will win it.
[Paul:] What about Papa?
[Ruth:] Who you gonna put Karen
[Kevin:] Because
[Ruth:] with?
[Kevin:] she thinks, she reads papers.
[Ruth:] Well I put Karen with Papa and me with Andy then.
[Kevin:] It's just her her what?
[Ruth:] Put me with Andy then, and Karen with Papa.
[Paul:] No that'll be too easy cos you and Andy'll streak through that.
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Paul:] It should be
[Ruth:] No it'll have to be Karen and Andy cos
[Paul:] Mooty and Andy!
[Kevin:] Yeah?
[Ruth:] Cos the others are different generations, they're at a disadvantage cos they're the same generation... Andy
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] and Karen.
[Kevin:] Yeah so
[Ruth:] Karen doesn't read The Mail... and nor does Andrew.
[Kevin:] You'd be surprised, Karen's well read, newspaper wise she's not
[Ruth:] Oh of course
[Paul:] or something.
[Ruth:] Right you got that'll do, I think... unless your father wants to
[Paul:] No.
[Ruth:] Now three of those groups can have a child
[Paul:] should be with Nanna and Adrian.
[Ruth:] No.
[Paul:] Why not?
[Ruth:] You mean you with Nanna and Adrian... yeah I think you should
[Paul:] Okay.
[Ruth:] be with them... put Michael with Andrew and Karen... tha
[Paul:] Which one are you gonna have?
[Ruth:] Who can have Lisa, me and Papa or Michael an Mi... Michelle and Mooty?
[Kevin:] See I'm in so me th th they'll all be able to contribute.
[Paul:] Michelle and Mooty.
[Kevin:] That's right
[Paul:] Cross Michael out then?
[Ruth:] Where's does Lisa go?
[Paul:] Cross Michael out.
[Ruth:] Why?
[Paul:] Just cross him out.
[Ruth:] Why?
[Paul:] You've gotta think of the generations... they would be more likely to lead a pop star... or sort of person that would know all those... those sort of things, put Michael with Michelle and Mooty...... and Lisa with Papa and Mum
[Kevin:] Be careful who you put Mooty with... cos Mooty
[Ruth:] I've put her with Michelle!
[Kevin:] Oh that's alright, that's fine, yes.
[Paul:] and... Lisa with Papa and... you.
[Ruth:] So that left Andrew and Karen on their own?
[Paul:] Yes... that's fair
[Ruth:] Do you think that's fair?
[Kevin:] Sorry?
[Ruth:] Andrew and Karen, you think
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] they're so clever that they're
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] going to beat anybody else?
[Kevin:] They will win.
[Paul:] Yeah, so listen to this... Nanna, Adrian and me
[Ruth:] Go to Dad.
[Paul:] okay I'll read it out, Nanna, Adrian and me, Dad?
[Ruth:] make up on.
[Paul:] Okay?
[Kevin:] Sorry?
[Paul:] Nanna, Adrian and me... Papa, Mum and Lisa... Andrew and Karen
[Ruth:] He's not listening... he's not listening
[Kevin:] I am yes
[Paul:] Michelle, Mooty and Michael.
[Kevin:] That's alright.
[Ruth:] Is it after lunch, I presume?
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Paul:] I knew Michelle and Mooty would need somebody else cos... you know Michelle... Mooty would have a.
[Kevin:] Paul you gonna throw me another pencil I seem to have lost
[Ruth:] Paul don't belittle the
[Kevin:] lost one.
[Ruth:] older generation.
[Paul:] No but s
[Kevin:] Throw me a pencil please?
[Paul:] I'm just saying... would she know about Michael Jackson and all that sort of stuff.
[Ruth:] Is Daddy putting Michael Jackson in?
[Paul:] I don't know, he's bound to put in, I hope.
[Kevin:] I'm not giving any clues away... I'm balancing as best I can.
[Paul:] What do you want?
[Kevin:] Pencil, I know you couldn't concentrate on three things!
[Ruth:] comet... have you used the match box?
[Kevin:] Yes... that brown crayon you've got in your hand'll do.
[Paul:] Why, why will it do?
[Kevin:] Well... you seem a bit desperate.
[Paul:] What you gonna do with it?
[Ruth:] Right so you're going to go work
[Kevin:] Well
[Ruth:] after I've gone to have you?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] You can go to work when the tape stops... Well he's not going to watch you sticking all those on at work... what's he gonna be doing.
[Kevin:] He's doing his homework.
[Paul:] I can draw some sides... just like I can put... I could make a... just draw neatly in the teams bi on a big piece of paper... that'll make it look really good,.
[Ruth:] And when were you going to do the map of... you can't do that map tomorrow can you?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Well when will you do that at work then?... Before or after football?
[Kevin:] I'll slot it in sometime tomorrow.
[Ruth:] Right, fine... wish you could slot into washing up mood.
[Kevin:] Ooh there's a hard one.
[Paul:] There.
[Kevin:] Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh that'll sort out the... I'd like someone to say, I'd like to have... one or two that nobody gets.
[Ruth:] Is there a prize?
[Paul:] What do you mean?
[Kevin:] Sorry?
[Ruth:] Is there a prize?
[Paul:] I suppose there should be.
[Kevin:] Suppose there should be yeah.
[Ruth:] What an overall prize or individual prizes?
[Paul:] Er
[Kevin:] Little individuals is it?
[Ruth:] Well they'll have to be equal prizes wouldn't they?
[Paul:] I've got it!... Whichever team wins... th the cha children can give out the Christmas presents.
[Ruth:] What Christmas presents?
[Paul:] Those presents up there.
[Ruth:] Big deal!
[Kevin:] Can't fool you.
[Ruth:] Well I've never prize
[Paul:] It's only... it's only fun, I mean what are you gonna give them?... The team that wins gets their presents.
[Kevin:] He said I used to laugh at my Dad when he used to do these quizzes but when
[Ruth:] That's why you'll start getting more and more like your Dad.
[Kevin:] Yep.
[Ruth:] Wouldn't argue with that one iota.
[Paul:] What does iota mean?
[Ruth:] Scrap.
[Paul:] One what?
[Ruth:] Scrap.
[Paul:] Scrap?
[Ruth:] Scer er ap.
[Paul:] Why?
[Ruth:] One little bit, I wouldn't argue with her.
[Paul:] You could do a treasure hunt, Dad... Dad
[Kevin:] Mm?
[Paul:] you could do a treasure hunt.
[Ruth:] No it's too hard.
[Paul:] It's not.
[Kevin:] No this is do this is just a gentle little thing it'll just get people laughing and things cos
[Paul:] You've gotta sort out how you got organised?
[Ruth:] Who?
[Paul:] ?
[Kevin:] No he no go upstairs th in pairs if they wanna do it, quietly.
[Ruth:] upstairs and find.
[Kevin:] Getting silly!
[Paul:] You should have... answers up there... and each person has their gro group reading... one in the... breakfast room
[Ruth:] But we got go grammatical each person has to speak.
[Paul:] Why don't they go out... Well I can have somewhere else... but they can all have their quiet place to talk. [tv on in background]
[Ruth:] Is it tonight Casualty on?
[Paul:] Eh?
[Ruth:] Fridays?... Done today's paper?
[Kevin:] Don't know.
[Ruth:] Can I have it then.
[Kevin:] Then cut it up, I don't know... you cannot loo go through you cannot go through those!
[Ruth:] I only want the television page
[Kevin:] I don't care
[Ruth:] for Friday Kevin
[Paul:] No don't Mum
[Kevin:] Sorry.
[Ruth:] Oh for goodness sake how can I possibly see anything aye aye!
[Paul:] Why don't you look
[Kevin:] Find it over there what about over look!
[Paul:] Look I've found it.
[Kevin:] Oh give it!
[Ruth:] I thought you wanted a pop star?
[Paul:] Will you do any mathematical sums?
[Ruth:] No
[Paul:] Mum can do them.
[Ruth:] I might win.
[Paul:] Mum can do mathematical sums.
[Ruth:] I've got a lovely mental test for the children... it's a bit hard.
[Paul:] Is it?... Better than
[Ruth:] Two one one... [yawn] I am so tired, I've got to get up early tomorrow..., right I want that recorded twenty one thirty, shall I her out?
[Kevin:] Yes you better had...
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] as well.
[Kevin:] Oh where are your keys?
[Ruth:] Paul can you turn this thing to nought.
[Paul:] Yes.
[Ruth:] Or on this one... or you have to have the other one?
[Paul:] The other one... should be a button... I've pressed the button just lift this up... button she set, there you go.
[Ruth:] Thank you... so if I press play and record now... twenty one thirty, twenty two thirty it's half past ten... thirty five to half past ten that's alright... so... if I press play and record now... it should come on at... wha one and a half and ten... one forty so it should come on when it says one forty. Shoe shoes shoe
[Kevin:] I took them upstairs.
[Paul:] Where are you going?
[Ruth:] To see Mrs.
[Kevin:] I didn't want that lady thinking you were untidy.
[Paul:] That what lady?... When are we leaving?... Dad?
[Kevin:] Mm?
[Paul:] When we leaving?
[Kevin:] In a minute... oh this is it... oh no... they're not re releasing in that... [shouting] Cor look at this... he's not doing the one, he's doing all his Christmas ones together [].
[Ruth:] Who?
[Kevin:] Cliff... that's why they did it, cos they put them all together.
[Ruth:] Mm?...
[Kevin:] Clever I think.
[Ruth:] Right I got my key then.
[Kevin:] Alright, I think I got enough here.
[Ruth:] Alright?
[Kevin:] Right, yeah.
[Ruth:] Well will you be very late?
[Kevin:] No.
[Ruth:] See you then.
[Paul:] Hello my name's Geoffrey Chaucer... and I'm going now, bye.
[Kevin:] Are Paul... are erm Manchester United playing in their blue strip today, will they do you think?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] That's their unlucky strip. Let's hope...
[Paul:] It's a disgusting strip.
[Kevin:] That awful white and blue...
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] strip.
[Paul:] Red as well.
[Kevin:] Yeah I suppose they can't have red can they? Not with a red
[Paul:] No.
[Kevin:] So, we're so much like red aren't we?... Red and blue.
[Paul:] team's us they can't have red or blue either.
[Kevin:] What did they have, what colour did they have before the blue? Oh it was blue last year wasn't it?
[Paul:] It was a bluey weirdy one before
[Kevin:] Oh yeah.
[Paul:] last year.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Before that they have white don't they? All white.
[Kevin:] Oh yeah. They played the cup final in white didn't they?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Right.... I looked up the teletext and it said full squad for Manchester United. Even Paul Parker's... fit. So they've got the full
[Paul:] Not the palace full squad? Man United?
[Kevin:] No Man United, yes.... So they can't have any, if we beat them they can't have any excuses.
[Paul:] Yeah.... Have they got Lee Sharp?
[Kevin:] Well I don't know. I don't think don't think that's, that means that I don't think. I hope not. That's all we need.... I've got to try and make sure the petrol lasts till the Texaco garage
[Paul:] When's that? Where is the Texaco garage?
[Kevin:] That one by Carshalton ponds I don't think there's any one nearer is there?
[Paul:] No.... Oh yeah that one. We don't usually go to that one do we?...
[Kevin:] Been to it before but not for a long time.... [cough]...
[Paul:] Is this the A three or the M twenty five?
[Kevin:] A three. Lovely new road.... Be kind of funny to see the mascots going on knowing what they've done.
[Paul:] Oh yeah.
[Kevin:] Except they'll have had a... four course meal to eat.
[Paul:] Will they?
[Kevin:] Well... maybe.
[Paul:] Does that mean they would have if they have it at the?
[Kevin:] On Saturday well I mean it's the option to have it Saturday. I don't know, at at that price I don't know. I don't think very many do. Really don't....
[Paul:] [sound of car whizzing past] Fast.
[Kevin:] Did you see that erm... did you hear that in the Zenith Data
[Paul:] Yes.
[Kevin:] er... game? When the Q P R man... interviewed the ref. The the... Sky television man interviewed the,
[Paul:] Oh yeah.
[Kevin:] he said what's the coin? And he says nineteen sixty two when I started reffing... and he said the oth they're not... I'm not giving them this one but these two are for the other mascot scene. You lost out there didn't you really?
[Paul:] They were badges. They gave themselves badges.
[Kevin:] Oh badges. Oh.... What did you ref say? No chance... sorry you can't have it?
[Paul:] Dunno. Geoff Thomas sent for
[Kevin:] He asked on your behalf didn't he?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Well you can't ask any more of Geoff Thomas than that I suppose.... I wonder why that little bit was in the paper about Geoff Thomas being... absolutely priceless?... Was it cos someone's
[Paul:] What bit?
[Kevin:] someone's after him again?
[Paul:] What bit?
[Kevin:] There was a little article in the Sun I told you about. Alan Smith saying... Geoff Thomas is absolutely priceless. Er... all he's got to do is score more goals. [LAUGHTER] That's what I couldn't understand. What a nerve! [].... I think he meant for England. All he had to do to seal his England career was pop in a two, a few goals like he does at Palace
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] and er... could be on the way to a regular spot.
[Paul:] He is in a regular spot at the moment.
[Kevin:] Well I don't know. Hope, hope that's true. Yeah but well you look that... that jaguar... four litres! [LAUGHTER]. Four litre car!
[Paul:] Yeah but what are you gonna do with four litres?
[Kevin:] I dunno. Well quite.... It does about... eighteen miles to the gallon....
[Paul:] How many miles do we do to the gallon?
[Kevin:] I hope we do something like thirty six.
[Paul:] Thirty six!...
[Kevin:] Don't think it's much more than that.
[Paul:] How can his, well if ours is one point six... there's three times
[Kevin:] No it doesn't work that way.
[Paul:] It doesn't work like that?
[Kevin:] No....
[Paul:] So what... how long will it take him to get eighty miles filling up every...?
[Kevin:] Well I mean do they have huge tanks? I mean they take... if you, if you filled up you could put I think it's about twenty six gallons in that car.
[Paul:] And how many can we put in?
[Kevin:] Nine? Eleven?
[Paul:] Cor.
[Kevin:] Eleven. It was eight, nine. I think this might take eleven.
[Paul:] So how much do they spend if they filled it?
[Kevin:] Don't forget if you've got all that weight, you've got that you're gonna lose even more petrol.
[Paul:] So if you filled that up, how much would that cost them?
[Kevin:] Well, twenty six... I think it's something like... isn't it something like two pounds a gallon now? You don't, they do it all by litres now so it's really hard
[Paul:] About fifty P? About fifty, fifty pounds?... Fifty pounds to fill up!
[Kevin:] Yeah. Oh yeah fifty, sixty pounds.
[Paul:] And how long would it last them? About the same time as us?
[Kevin:] Yeah....
[Paul:] I suppose you have to be able to afford all that if you can afford the car in the first place. Right.... Yeah if you have to moan about that you shouldn't be driving it in the first place. Motto, what?... Motto of the story is er... er don't, don't buy expensive cars if you're gonna want to run the thing though. You've spent all your money on this car. All of a sudden you realize
[Kevin:] Well like that new advert for the Rover he says don't, I keep thinking my back... my back tailgate's... flapping or... I keep hearing, you keep hearing creaking don't you? A creak here and you think what's that, what's this, what's that? So that new Rover has been built so everything fits perfectly, right? So nothing rattles.
[Paul:] What do you mean nothing?
[Kevin:] No toleran er the tolerance is you know minimal. Whereas the tolerance here'd be... I dunno eighth of an inch here eighth of an inch there he says... the advert says as soon as you have tolerances like that then thing work loose and start rattling and creaking and
[Paul:] E E.
[Kevin:] you can hear it go E E er E.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] you imagine cruising in a car, lovely car like that... and it makes no noise. Just cruising away and it just like glides, and you glide you know... like, like Papa's Citroen type... that kind of suspension.
[Paul:] Yeah. Is this a new Rover?
[Kevin:] Crikey what was that?
[Paul:] A Rover.
[Kevin:] Was it that Rover?
[Paul:] Yeah. Was this a new, is this a new Rover?
[Kevin:] Carving everybody up.... Yes. That was er... that, yeah well it's not out yet is it? Looks like a... looks like the front of a B M W to me. I think that's what they're trying to emulate.
[Paul:] Oh that one.... How much is it? Supposed to be.
[Kevin:] Don't know how much it costs. Should think it starts at about sixteen, seventeen thousand.
[Paul:] Yeah....
[Kevin:] A three's heavy isn't it? Look.
[Paul:] Yeah....
[Kevin:] So you got any ideas what you're gonna get, what you should get mum for?
[Paul:] Er.
[Kevin:] We could just... fall back on a bit of sweets and chocolate or something in the end but I'd like to get some
[Paul:] What... what sort of thing are you gonna get her?
[Kevin:] there's some funny little weird shops down Thornton Heath aren't there?
[Paul:] What sort of thing are we talking about?
[Kevin:] Well I dunno. Something I'm not I've no idea until I see it.
[Paul:] Well something like soap or what?
[Kevin:] ... Could get her some, some toiletries or something. I dunno. I was hoping for something even more er
[Paul:] a Moss chemist might be able to get her some Bromley don't they? There is a Moss chemist on the way.
[Kevin:] Oh yes she did tell me that she'd like some of that....
[Paul:] Yes there is one isn't there? By shops.
[Kevin:] Right we, we'll... we'll treat that as a fail safe then. If we can't see anything more unusual suppose we could always fall back on... the bubble baths or the... anyway I think that's a bit more than but there you go. They're off to football aren't they? Look at that! I've never seen a Metro [LAUGHTER] so full. []
[Paul:] how many people are there in it?
[Kevin:] Five. Five full adults. Look... really down on his... haunches.
[Paul:] Oh yeah! Low!
[Kevin:] It's really low innit? Mm. See that's the B M W I think the Rover's gonna look like. That one, that's what they're copying.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] It's really like it.
[Paul:] It's only the front though....
[Kevin:] Oh I wanted to let him go.
[Paul:] What?
[Kevin:] Oh look! Someone's been right through that wall there, look.
[Paul:] Cor.
[Kevin:] Ooh!
[Paul:] You wanted to let who go?
[Kevin:] I wanted to let that car go, I was
[Paul:] Why?
[Kevin:] Well I like to be polite.... I don't like the people like this who... who straddle across you and just stop you.
[Paul:] Mm.
[Kevin:] Specially when they're Indians.... Come on, let him go for goodness sake....
[Paul:] what's that plonker holding that Sony thing for!
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah I I held up a traffic jam of about sixty cars doing that []. There's. Still there.
[Paul:] Do you Judy then? Somebody call Judy.
[Kevin:] Judy, yeah. Yes it's Judy....
[Paul:] Ah!... What did the say up there?
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] I don't know. Wah. []
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Kevin:] I think we're gonna have to invite erm... Adrian again. One of these football evening matches we could couldn't we?
[Paul:] Yeah....
[Kevin:] I'm gonna see how many people I can let go... across... here, between here and Palace. Right four
[Paul:] Do you wanna count?
[Kevin:] oh no I did four at that one and I just did one there. That's five all together now.
[Paul:] Five.
[Kevin:] Five... five times I was polite.
[Paul:] No but they, they just ran out in front of you, those other four.
[Kevin:] No, well... no I let them go though.
[Paul:] Well... the third one did.... So we're counting from five?
[Kevin:] Five yeah. Only ones I don't like are the ones in like... oh that doesn't matter cos he's allowed to do that cos it's a keep clear zone there.... I wonder if they're going to our match here, do you think? They look like [LAUGHTER] a football crowd don't they? []
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] Not really. Do they?
[Kevin:] Well I dunno
[Paul:] It's a woman a woman driving it.
[Kevin:] Is it?
[Paul:] Yes.
[Kevin:] Oh well. Perhaps not then.
[Paul:] four men
[Kevin:] So if we get there early enough do you feel like a Wimpy?
[Paul:] A Wimpy? Sony, Sony Sony... Sony me Sony [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] I don't know what That's a tiny little shop for a Sony isn't it?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Oh it's not a Sony shop though look. It's audio Sony advert.
[Paul:] Oh. I bet they've got one of these tape recorders in it though.
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] Sony me Sony Sony me Sony... [].... A Wimpy?
[Kevin:] Cheapskates. They don't put the lights on in this Christmas... thing till... it's slightly dusk.
[Paul:] I know. Well we can't hardly see them now.
[Kevin:] Well you... well you would be able to though wouldn't you?
[Paul:] Would you? You wouldn't want to put them on, they're not so spectacular are they?
[Kevin:] Cuts... cuts down on the electricity bill.
[Paul:] [yawn] Plus two sports....
[Kevin:] It's funny, every time we've sat at our seats that bloke has come to ask the chap next to me
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] what he thinks of the match hasn't he? []. There hasn't been one game we've... been there that he hasn't... or both of them haven't.... Suppose they're both season ticket holders.
[Paul:] James was well gutted on... Friday. James right... like Mr right he didn't know right and we have this sort of erm... water fountain and he was running towards it and he, and he... filled up his mouth with it and he was spitting it everywhere and we were all sort of getting out the way [LAUGHTER] and Mr told him... if you don't want to drink it then leave it alone [] and he sort of turned and walked away.
[Kevin:] Mr who's quite strict isn't he?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] He looks
[Paul:] He badminton.... James
[Kevin:] Oh does he?
[Paul:] James was really unlucky. He sort of just come, just go up there
[Kevin:] James is always into trouble isn't he?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] That's rather disgusting though
[Paul:] I know.
[Kevin:] putting water in and spitting it out.
[Paul:] He should have remembered because always walks down there on Fridays to do his badminton class.
[Kevin:] Did he give him a de de detention or not?
[Paul:] No, he told him to get away. [LAUGHTER]... Yeah well always mucks around on Fridays don't they? Sort of like ah no more school for about two days. More relaxed mood.
[Kevin:] James is very excitable
[Paul:] Yeah. [singing] []
[Kevin:] Now when I, when we went to that open day that Mr is very stern isn't he?
[Paul:] Mm yeah.
[Kevin:] Didn't think it helped he'd, just before we got there [LAUGHTER] his biro had exploded in his pocket []. All the ink was all over his shirt, it was coming out all over the place. I don't think he was in the best of moods when he, we got to him. But he seemed very very stern.
[Paul:] He doesn't... smile very much.
[Kevin:] No. Terse.
[Paul:] We have his wife er Mrs for English.
[Kevin:] And you say they're nothing to do with Mark
[Paul:] No.
[Kevin:] ?
[Paul:] It's unbelievable isn't it?
[Kevin:] Isn't it Yeah. Unless it's Smith in Cypriot or something....
[Paul:] Don't know.... Don't think she's Cypriot.... None of them sound Cypriot but
[Kevin:] So what's his wife teach then?
[Paul:] English. We have him for history and her for English.
[Kevin:] And her for English?
[Paul:] Yo! Yeah.
[Kevin:] Mm.... She's the one we did our Geoffrey Chaucer project, project with.... I always feel guilty passing Mike's house. We really should sort of take him to football, don't you? But
[Paul:] they are.
[Kevin:] I don't think he's I don't think he's interested as you is he really?
[Paul:] No, nowhere near. But... he's probably not there. He's probably at a party or something like that, or
[Kevin:] Yeah. I don't think he's got any lack of things to do, has he? Really?
[Paul:] No.... He never seems to have any homework to do though.
[Kevin:] all those Christmas trees in that lorry, look.
[Paul:] Oh yeah. Where are they going to?
[Kevin:] I don't know, they're loa, looks like they're loading them in, they're putting them in the gar... the school.... Has that school closed now? I think perhaps it has.
[Paul:] I went there for a week.
[Kevin:] Yeah, I think it's closed.
[Paul:] Didn't I?... I was in the fourth year, the top year [LAUGHTER]....
[Kevin:] Were they nice to you there, the teachers? I mean there weren't very many teachers anyway were there? How many were there?
[Paul:] Dunno.
[Kevin:] Three or four.
[Paul:] Four?
[Kevin:] Three or four?...
[Paul:] Don't know. Can't remember.... on the computer most of the time.... And I took part in some of their tests. I got better results than some of the actual... fifteen year olds.
[Kevin:] That'll be quite good about your maths test won't it? Cos you'll be, you're doing it again with, like that aren't you? Your maths you're taking class nine
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] you could get better than them.
[Paul:] Yeah. Virtually every year the eighth, eighth year always does get better than the ninth year.
[Kevin:] Look... that house is really old. Look it's got the plaque on it.
[Paul:] What's a plaque mean? Is that a fire station thing?
[Kevin:] Well yeah it's yeah. No no it's not but it's, it's saying how old those houses are. all, all these
[Paul:] Yeah?
[Kevin:] are really old.
[Paul:] They look quite new.
[Kevin:] Yeah. Well no they're kept to look like new really old.
[Paul:] Were th, were those white boards always there?
[Kevin:] It's got a Surrey... Surrey badge on it look.... Building of historical interest.
[Paul:] What's so historic about that?
[Kevin:] Don't know well it's probably near erm three or four hundred years or something.
[Paul:] Yeah.... Everything's old around here isn't it? Apart from it's sort of like everything's old that side
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] everything's new the other side.
[Kevin:] More modern, yeah. Talk about that being out of place. Look at that.
[Paul:] What?
[Kevin:] Well
[Paul:] What Budgens?
[Kevin:] That bloke looks like your Derek doesn't he? The old Sunday school teacher.
[Paul:] What in the car?
[Kevin:] Chap here, yeah.
[Paul:] Does he? [LAUGHTER] Bet Derek wishes he'd have a car like that. Nice.
[Kevin:] He's only got a beat up old Metro.
[Paul:] Yeah. Spent four hundred pounds on it.
[Kevin:] They, they had a documentary on Metros apparently and the Me they said that Metros of a certain period for about, I think [LAUGHTER] from his period sort of [] A registration, B registration, Y registration... they're absolute rubbish apparently.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] You know, all the rusting and everything, they've improved now. The Me if he had a Metro now he'd, you'd get a better deal but they said that
[Paul:] They're cheap though aren't they?
[Kevin:] Well yes but not cheap if you have to keep replacing them and
[Paul:] Think he'll probably buy a new car... probably. photographic... photo service.... How do you spell sergeant? I've always wondered that. Is that how you act is that sergeant?
[Kevin:] Erm yes. [cough]
[Paul:] It's not S A R?
[Kevin:] Er... I think the American version is and I think that's the English version and that's right.
[Paul:] So his name is actually somebody sergeant?
[Kevin:] Yeah. Ooh I wouldn't mind buying that, look. For sale, doesn't say a price though, but look, doesn't half look new doesn't it?
[Paul:] Where?
[Kevin:] Complete new Opel body I reckon he's got there. T registration but... Opel Manta.
[Paul:] Nice.... Genesis. Who's that? Oh that's Phil Collins isn't it.... [yawn]...
[Kevin:] This corner here gets worse and worse, traffic lights and yet the traffic
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] gets further and further back. And yet... two or three years ago it used to stop up there. Now you stop further, now you're almost stopping on the lights. The lights are getting clogged up.
[Paul:] Yeah. You know those sporty rollers? They don't have all that pine in them.
[Kevin:] Don't they?
[Paul:] That wood.
[Kevin:] No. No.
[Paul:] Suppose... it's not very zoopy sport does it, like...?
[Kevin:] No, it's not conducive as a... sporty image... the walnut facia.
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] facia.
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Don't think. How do they make that building curved?
[Kevin:] architecture. They're quite nice actually aren't they? They, they're a bit run down. They could have a bit more money spent on them. Had a new roof I note but
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] They're always for sale. There's always a for sale sign out outside one of those or one of those. I reckon it's one of those flats, you can always get a flat there.
[Paul:] Are they flats?
[Kevin:] So many that, er yeah, so many of them that... soon as one's sold somebody else sells another one.
[Paul:] Yeah. Well how many are there? Seventeen to twenty
[Kevin:] Oh
[Paul:] twenty one to twenty six.
[Kevin:] It's a lot isn't it?
[Paul:] Yeah. Specially both sides.... Yellow flag coming out of his aerial. Oh where would you prefer your ae aerial? Would you like it there... up there or at the back?
[Kevin:] Up there's alright. I like it the way the ones that you can... close each time, now I'm sure my aerial will last longer. Cos you can
[Paul:] What do you mean close.
[Kevin:] Well it compacts.
[Paul:] Oh yeah.
[Kevin:] The ones that stick out all the time, they... I suppose that is good. If you have one that doesn't compact, you you're best to have one in the middle cos it's less likely to get pranged there isn't it?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Here like walkers by can bend it and... Oh look. Here's my next one. Six. I've let six go now.
[Paul:] You must have let someone go before now.
[Kevin:] I didn't, no I haven't. No. Haven't had the opportunity to.... What is this lady dressed up like?
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] What has she got on []?
[Paul:] What has she got on her hair?... Weird.
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] Bunch of wool [].
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] She'll be thinking where's that wool? Oh it's on my head.... Look at those tiny rugby posts.
[Kevin:] Yeah, I don't know why they do that, I was gonna ask that, why they chop those off, look like they've been vandalized don't they?
[Paul:] Yeah. It's only for junior rugby though....
[Kevin:] They haven't replaced that garage have they? It's Volvo's in there. They've got no-one, no-one's
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Put a new garage in there already.
[Paul:] There's loads of new garages going in all over the place. Volvo
[Kevin:] Could have let that one go but I was too late.
[Paul:] Yeah. Volvo seem to be... moving out all over the place. I think they're trying to set up... er nought, their own things rather than just joining petrol stations.... [yawn]... Where's the Secombe centre
[Kevin:] Back there....
[Paul:] Have you been to that place, Holiday Inn?
[Kevin:] Headphones on the wall again.
[Paul:] Oops a daisy.... Is that the B & Q down there
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] or the Texas?
[Kevin:] B and Q.
[Paul:] martial arts....
[Kevin:] So so far I've let six people go. That's not bad. Six!
[Paul:] It is bad. You let five go in a second.
[Kevin:] Well I could you could let this one go but I think he's gonna come out isn't he? I don't know what to do. Here you are, no, I'll let him go, oh two I let go! That's eight.
[Paul:] Oh brilliant.
[Kevin:] Yes!
[Paul:] Eight! Wow.
[Kevin:] Eight people....
[Paul:] Wowsers Eight people....
[Kevin:] She's gonna sit there all day [LAUGHTER] she's that far back [].
[Paul:] Funny.... Think it's obviously to do with trusting your car's power.
[Kevin:] It's also being alert... to watch. I mean some people just don't expect you to let them out so they're dreaming mostly.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Times you flash people... er? And you have to flash flash flash flash flash before you know oh, oh, ooh!
[Paul:] let her out.
[Kevin:] You know, they're just, they're just waiting you know, sort of... Others are like on the ball almost too much. They whip across you before you've even thought about it....
[Paul:] Isn't Texaco around there somewhere?
[Kevin:] Texaco? Er... no that's B P. Texaco is round the corner.... Don't forgot to switch that off when we go in the garage.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Oh look. Number nine. Yes!
[Paul:] Number 10?
[Kevin:] No I can't cos they're, they won't let her, let them go.... Get stuck there.... I, I'll ask about that. Yeah?
[Paul:] Yeah. No I know about it. You have to send off.
[Kevin:] Do you?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] But have you got a form or something to get at the garage?
[Paul:] Er... you can ask then. It's those ones where you just flick it around.
[Kevin:] What were they called? What were they called?
[Paul:] Er
[Kevin:] I, I know arm bands but was it, is there a name for it? Protective arm bands?
[Paul:] Flick them. Er
[Kevin:] Flick arm bands?
[Paul:] Flick on bands, yeah
[Kevin:] Flick on bands?
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] Flick on bands [].
[Kevin:] You want me to go in a garage and ask for, have you got a flick on band!
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] You flick off!
[Paul:] You're the one that wants them.... Squire car company. Why have they got all
[Kevin:] Fancy having a car called eggs....
[Paul:] E E G S, dad.
[Kevin:] Oh that's the way you spell eggs.
[Paul:] It's not!... How far have we got through this tape?...
[Kevin:] Flick it off now. The garage is here.
[Paul:] Yeah.... Sort of past half way. Can't believe these are only forty five minutes.... Cos we've been talking at least there.
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Paul:] This is a tricky one to get in to isn't it?
[Kevin:] This is the one, you know I went wrong in the B P? This is the one I always think I was thinking about.
[Paul:] Yeah?
[Kevin:] And when I went wrong the other time.
[Paul:] What, what other time?
[Kevin:] You know, went to the Esso and I went all wrong and I couldn't le, I went down a no en
[Paul:] Oh yeah.
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] Woman said no way. No way chummy. Oh there you are [reading] children should be... application forms here. []
[Paul:] Yeah it's going round. Why must you check, every time?
[Kevin:] Cos I think sometimes it doesn't. You just sit there thinking you're taping and you're not.
[Paul:] Oh. Er... how did she get it on there?
[Kevin:] Pooh. Mummy's gonna say that's very strong, Paul. [cough]... In fact put it at the back somewhere I think pong.
[Paul:] No. Why should we have it in the back?...
[Kevin:] That's it....
[Paul:] Really strong innit?...
[Kevin:] Can you put that in the... in the... glovebox then please....
[Paul:] Do you wanna bit of this?
[Kevin:] No thank you Bounty... What's the Egbert fund? I'm supporting the Egbert fund. Do you know it?
[Paul:] Looks like er the spastic one.
[Kevin:] Oh.... No we've picked the wrong one there. I don't think we'll pick spice again, do you?
[Paul:] No.... Ooh!
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] Smells like somebody's lavatory []. Looks like you'll have to sort of like... put it up for a day and then [LAUGHTER] take it down for a week and put it back in again. It's too much for one day []. You shou, perhaps you should have kept the... bag on it. You know it's too strong to. You take the bag off, off it after a month or something. Even your Bounty must taste a bit poorly. Yeah? Yeah. [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Bet the bloke listening to this can hear it... smell it.
[Kevin:] I know. Put it in there.
[Paul:] . open the glovebox when we get
[Kevin:] Yeah. Er... hang on though, perhaps that's not so good. I, it might make the sweets taint.
[Paul:] Mm.
[Kevin:] I reckon we'll... when, when we get out we'll put it in the boot and it'll... filter through [LAUGHTER] through on its own []. Ooh dear!
[Paul:] How about just keeping it in the bag?
[Kevin:] It's overcoming me.
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Open your window, quick.
[Paul:] Oh... look.
[Kevin:] Panic. [LAUGHTER] Not everybody's window, Paul []. Ah! Strewth Pauly.
[Paul:] Disgusting. I'll just keep it down there. In the bag.... Oh it's disgusting smell.
[Kevin:] And why did you hit this car? Well you see...
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] my son took his magic... pongo tree out
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] and I was overcome, thus hitting the car in front. I see Mr. Do you expect us to believe that do you?
[Paul:] Yeah [LAUGHTER].
[Kevin:] Yes. He is an idiot....
[Paul:] Can you leave that alone!
[Kevin:] I leant on it.
[Paul:] Lean out a bit cos I'm shutting the windows again.
[Kevin:] No I want it. I... I hope this traffic jam's not all the way to Croydon. I do so hope.... Oh can you imagine what that Purley Way's gonna be like? Forget the s, egg and chips Pauly.... Forget mummy's present. Oh what are they having here now? The Christmas fair....
[Paul:] At the moment I'm just trying to forget that awful spice stuff.
[Kevin:] innit? Yeah I think you did wrong. You should, you shouldn't have er yeah. You shouldn't have er... opened the packet.... It's funny that shop didn't smell of it did it? So I mean [LAUGHTER] the seal must keep it all in until you open it up.
[Paul:] Ugh ugh. open it ugh.
[Kevin:] No it's quite a nice smell if it's like taken out now. We'll put it in the boot or it'll just be sickening on the way home.
[Paul:] Yeah. person listening to this tape will probably go ah [LAUGHTER].
[Kevin:] I can smell it when I'm listening to it!
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] There's our little football group. Look, it's getting bigger and bigger.
[Paul:] What little football group?
[Kevin:] There!
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Got a lady teaching, got a team to go there.... Do you remember that lady that ran the team at er St John's?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Quite keen.
[Paul:] Oh yeah, her.
[Kevin:] how her little team got on. Whether it folded or not....
[Paul:] Probably did.
[Kevin:] I think a lot of them do.... Yeah. You imagine what Purley Way's gonna be like ton, today. Christmas shopping.
[Paul:] Awful
[Kevin:] Oh we're taking... forget two o'clock. I said two o'clock we'd be parking. Stopped for petrol I suppose.
[Paul:] Yeah but dad, not for that long. So when will we park now? Set an estimate
[Kevin:] Well look there's an estimation look they're... parking, they're queuing on this brow of the hill instead of the other one. Everybody's got Christmas fairs on haven't they? Look, balloons. This is the day.
[Paul:] Yeah. No, fifteenth is the day.
[Kevin:] Or sixth
[Paul:] Are we going to...? Yeah. It's the toy service tomorrow isn't it?
[Kevin:] Is it? Yeah....
[Paul:] That really is a strong
[Kevin:] No it could, you could overcome, I wonder if there's a warning on the packet. Do not open this and drive at the same time.... Really heady. On an empty stomach it's made me feel quite queasy.... Oh look he's done, someone's done that to his, look, look. Smashed his wing mirror, look jam a glass in it, er sock in it to stop [LAUGHTER] the glass falling out [].... Oh it's not too bad.... Yes Paul. Well really you should have read shouldn't you?
[Paul:] Dad! You... told me to take it all the way out. Should have got that blue one. I knew that was your fault. Stinks!
[Kevin:] Yes but you opened it all.
[Paul:] Actually I don't even want it anywhere near me. Ah. It's gone all my nose funny now.
[Kevin:] [funny voice] nose I've got my asthma.
[Paul:] Asthma. Asthma.
[Kevin:] [cough]
[Paul:] By the way, if you can hear a word I say you're better than I am. [LAUGHTER] Oh get this out. Phew. I'll have to lob that...
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] That car's got smile... just to annoy everybody [].
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] What?
[Kevin:] Smile, just to annoy everybody that blue Datsun says on
[Paul:] What does that, what does that mean?
[Kevin:] Ooh, yeah be pleasant and ooh. There you are, look, look
[Paul:] You can read that ah. I thought you meant that... what about the one in front of it then?
[Kevin:] Baby on board. I can't stand those ones.
[Paul:] Can you see?
[Kevin:] Well I can see
[Paul:] I can see the baby.... Well a baby is on board. Give them their due. [LAUGHTER]... Oh, oh it's made all my throat go all funny.... Pay someone to take it away.... Very long lasting. Yes, very long lasting. Hang on, I'm just opening the window again. Recording commences at three past two. With [LAUGHTER] []....
[Kevin:] Got a Palace... picture on.
[Paul:] Man United!
[Kevin:] Oh. Don't let them out. They can stay there.... We hate United.
[Paul:] Hello again.
[Kevin:] Hello, hello, hello. Who is that [LAUGHTER] munching cashews on the tape [].
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Here we go, you go right close, go [rustling noise] ah! [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] You wicked trickster you.
[Paul:] Would you like a cashew nut?
[Kevin:] You can't have a cashew nut.
[Paul:] Oh come on.... I like the big ones.
[Kevin:] You would.
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] That's me!... Mm
[Kevin:] Tasted nicer ones.
[Paul:] Can't afford to eat them like that!
[Kevin:] Mm... can. Mm. Lovely....
[Paul:] Should eat them about a quarter at a time....
[Kevin:] Why are the dearest things the nicest? [LAUGHTER]...
[Paul:] Don't eat them like that!
[Kevin:] Mm. I can't, look at you eating them like that.
[Paul:] One at a time.
[Kevin:] Oh look Pauly hot rod.
[Paul:] Hot rod! Woo woo, nice.
[Kevin:] Mm.... No!... That means give me the packet. Hurry up, come on.
[Paul:] What?
[Kevin:] Quick. Give me the packet please, they're mine.... What me? What.... Oh that's where you should go for your computer, look. P C World.
[Paul:] Yeah....
[Kevin:] This bit's not so bad. Once you get through that... traffic light back there
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] it's alright....
[Paul:] Mm.... Soon as these lights go we should get here, through here quite quickly.
[Kevin:] Mm....
[Paul:] Long lights.... I command thee to become orange.... Orange.
[Kevin:] Well it's so long for the. They make them longer during the evenings and Saturday.
[Paul:] Orange!
[Kevin:] And this lot have got to go first haven't they?
[Paul:] Mm. Yeah [singing] []....
[Kevin:] Quite ridiculous. Far too long.
[Paul:] Far too long, yeah. How do people know it's gonna change? They just sort of start their engines still red. changes.
[Kevin:] Regulars down here I should imagine.
[Paul:] Where?
[Kevin:] Regulars probably who come down here and know
[Paul:] Regulars. They can count. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] No they can probably see down the end and they
[Kevin:] Well these lights used to be quite easy, didn't mind being stopped by them. Now you're petrified of being stopped by any of them cos you know it's
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] really long wait....
[Paul:] When are they gonna bring those towers down?
[Kevin:] Don't know.
[Paul:] Which way would they tumble them?
[Kevin:] I don't think they're in any rush to develop now, are they cos this housing business is so poor.... whoever's got the land has decided
[Paul:] are they boarded off. You can't go up there any more?
[Kevin:] No.... That is so naff isn't it? Putting your scarf across the car like that.
[Paul:] I know.... What's it say.
[Kevin:] Crystal Palace. Least it says Crystal Palace. Right. Who shall we, who shall we get
[Paul:] What?
[Kevin:] as a replacement for somebody. Who is there? Who would you like? If we had all the money. Buy Ian Wright back I suppose.
[Paul:] No.... I'd sell Bright. No I wouldn't sell Bright. I'd buy someone first.... Make sure someone was interested in.... I'd buy Deane... and swap Bright in exchange for Deane. No matter how bad he doesn't like it... he's well and truly gutted. Er so him for Deane and...
[Kevin:] Yeah but Deane won't be available till the end of the season. There's no way Sheffield United
[Paul:] Er I dunno.
[Kevin:] just stoking the price up I think.... Cos it's not old Bassett now, this is what it's all about. to get the odd draw you need the odd goal and er it's not gonna come from any other people than er
[Paul:] Oh yeah, Deane.
[Kevin:] Deane. But Deane didn't score today. It was Beazley apparently. Beazley.
[Paul:] Beazley.... Er I might see if I could pick up that... Sheffield United guy Jamie Hoyland. He's quite good....
[Kevin:] As you say the main problem is, as you say is are you going to change your whole... team, game
[Paul:] Yeah.... I don't know. I think they'll do it slowly but... not this slowly.... I mean I th I think we should have bought someone along with er Gabbiadini to play with him. could just bring him and expect stuff.... Mm could you get
[Kevin:] I think he's gonna have to raid the bottom divisions again, you know.
[Paul:] What sort of bottom divisions?
[Kevin:] he's probably got his eye on. I mean that Coleman was a very good buy wasn't he? Yeah?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] How much did he cost?
[Paul:] Three hundred and fifty.
[Kevin:] Three hundred and fifty. No it wasn't, it was three hundred. It was two
[Paul:] Yes it was. Three hundred and fifty.
[Kevin:] Oh anyway, it was still pretty good wasn't it?
[Paul:] Wasn't cheap, I mean
[Kevin:] No, but I mean you could see... play really well. I mean Southgate's all the more pleasing when you think he's somebody that's worked his way up, right?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] That's really nice to see. And he played really well....
[Paul:] Southgate is a harder person to mark isn't he?...
[Kevin:] Yeah. I think I'd drop Mortimer... oh look, Palace. Red car [LAUGHTER] it's like ours isn't it?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] I'd drop, I'd drop Paul Mortimer
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] and have Collymore in right? And encourage... that's the trouble, you drop Mortimer you drop somebody who can er flip the ball in but... I think you definitely want to take the heat off Wright. Now if if all Collymore does is distract... but Mortimer was not playing enough of the game. We can't afford... people like Mortimer to, I mean he scored a goal but I mean
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] ... Eddie I think is worth sheer sort of opening teams up. Well he does open, there's no... not many players can play a team better like than opening up
[Paul:] So what'd you do, say you had back next week so our next game against Birmingham. What would you do then?
[Kevin:] Well I mean they've got, they've got, he's gotta do something because you're gonna lose that Birmingham game. can see that coming now. But Birmingham must have won today cos they had equal top... must have won I would have thought.
[Paul:] That's good.
[Kevin:] Chelsea won one nil.
[Paul:] How do you know?
[Kevin:] You'd have thought Forest would have beaten Chelsea wouldn't you?... really annoyed after being
[Paul:] Yeah.... I suppose so.... What are you gonna buy mum?
[Kevin:] He's gone the whole hog that guy hanging down to his
[Paul:] Oh. So what are you gonna buy her? Newbury Fruits?... Or something like that, er
[Kevin:] They did very well with those little tulip hand out things didn't they? There's a lot of people who er don't, who would not have gone to the bother of going into the shop and buying a one pound or two pound or four pound
[Paul:] But why did they do well out of them if they were free?
[Kevin:] Well yeah they're free but they've got their advert on it haven't they?
[Paul:] Tulip
[Kevin:] tulip tulip, I mean... you're like a roving little advert aren't you? I mean it, it draws your eye those little pictures doesn't it? You
[Paul:] Oh he's got, he's got the hanging one at the front hasn't he?
[Kevin:] And he's got a badge on the right hand side as well.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] So he really is
[Paul:] You see that guy next to us? He's got a Palace earring hasn't he?... on one of his ears.
[Kevin:] Oh my goodness.
[Paul:] On his left ear.
[Kevin:] He's nice though isn't he, wasn't he, he did say something
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] I didn't have to say anything. I said to him I don't know, he said... did you enjoy yourself Tuesday? Oh I said, did you see us? Oh yeah we saw you.... And his dad's nice.
[Paul:] Yeah.... But that other bloke was there but he wasn't in his normal place.
[Kevin:] Yes
[Paul:] Why wasn't he in his normal place?...
[Kevin:] Palace played really well. The first twenty five minutes, when you think we were one nil up right I thought gosh... if we could get that second goal it would have made all the difference and United would have been really would have been in trouble.
[Paul:] Was a good game though.
[Kevin:] Oh I enjoyed it, yeah. Just don't enjoy Palace losing, but... sheer football... and it just shows you that ironically the two games can match each other and there were chances for Palace to wrap that game up.... But er... when they do play that ball to ball... business erm
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] we look like we've got huge spaces in our... in our midfield. I mean... that's what teams are doing now, they're realizing that's where all our weakness is in midfield... so... don't take a er a hefty boot and try and er er... people like Thorn and... I mean Thorn and Young were impeccably... they played beautifully today. You cannot ask Thorn and Young, I've never seen two players play... they do, they did th, they do the simple thing... but they do it consistently well. Over and over again, maybe a hundred, hundred and fifty times in one match and they'll make one mistake and usually like Coleman was there to c, I think Coleman backed up well and Gareth backed up well once or twice. But defence wise... superb. Absolutely su, there was a lapse with that guy, don't know who was to blame about that third goal but I mean
[Paul:] It was Young. Er Young let it plop over
[Kevin:] Oh, didn't see who it was. It was like, it was like a, like they were waiting for an offside or some there were just couldn't believe, it was...
[Paul:] But it was the same when Palace scored and exactly the same thing happened didn't it?... Why do they lapse? It's weird.
[Kevin:] Yeah, it's... well they do say both sides that it's the most dangerous time straight after a goal. I mean often, times you see teams equalize immediately. You know it's like, you sometimes you can go a whole game like seventy minutes of a game and no-one's had a goal scoring chance
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] and then someone scores and the guy goes in straight calmly and scores straight away. You know it's people aren't
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] I don't know, it's psychologically sort of still got their mind on going through what's er
[Paul:] On what happened.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] It's like at school when they're thinking oh no, no and they've scored again. It's like you've scored, you're so elated and you
[Kevin:] Fact you you often sort of watch videos of managers. Managers are often shrieking you know about what's happening next rather than you know, all their players are jumping with joy all over each other and you think... and they're saying get in your positions. Do your stuff. Don't let it slip straight away, I mean... That was annoying thing is that we didn't deserve to lose three one really, I mean Sneak that... that box of sweets in then for mum.
[Paul:] I bet she knows you've done that for her.
[Kevin:] Eh?
[Paul:] I bet she knows you've bought that for her.
[Kevin:] Well she knows that we're giving her something, yes.... I mean we could have been worse, could have forgotten completely. I mean it's easy, cos when mum gets all those things for everybody else, clearly she doesn't get something for herself.
[Paul:] Don't know why not.... What did you get her last year? It was the same thing wasn't it?
[Kevin:] No I didn't get, we didn't do this did we, last year?
[Paul:] Yes we did. We always have the tree presents.
[Kevin:] Do we?
[Paul:] [humming]... Our sunroof's pretty isn't it?
[Kevin:] You what?
[Paul:] Our sunroof's pretty isn't it?... Very stylish....
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] What's the time?
[Kevin:] This... very busy road, isn't it?
[Paul:] I suppose so. busier.
[Kevin:] seems to be very busy
[Paul:] So does the other way. Yeah. Because of mum.
[Kevin:] where the heck are we.... hundred percent better
[Paul:] Yeah you were well fluky then, getting the How come that shop had them and the other one didn't?
[Kevin:] you wouldn't believe it would you?
[Paul:] No.
[Kevin:] nice big posh shop like and it's got cheap
[Paul:] Yes.
[Kevin:] and nasty in it.
[Paul:] Yes. Hope you're enjoying it.
[Kevin:] follow you up [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] It would be real boring just listening to a load of rubbish wouldn't it? I mean making up conversations all over the place....
[Kevin:] Suddenly it clears... this bit.
[Paul:] What you're memory?
[Kevin:] No this road.
[Paul:] Oh, this road. Why?
[Kevin:] Dunno some go off that way
[Paul:] I mean, let, some people go up go off where? Where is it leading to?
[Kevin:] Don't know.
[Paul:] I don't really know.... What's all this, why does Meltis always have that stand of eighty, eighty years?
[Kevin:] Well it's how long they've been going, I suppose.
[Paul:] Surely they've been for the last four years and they must or do they just keep it at eighty one then they go to ninety?
[Kevin:] I don't know. I've never noticed that badge before....
[Paul:] Hallo... how many miles have we done?
[Kevin:] sixteen thousand one hundred and sixty.
[Paul:] How many did we have when we bought it? How long ago
[Kevin:] Fourteen thousand...
[Paul:] how long ago was it that we bought it?
[Kevin:] September.
[Paul:] September? Ages ago.... Yeah.
[Kevin:] ... twelve thousand miles
[Paul:] Twelve thousand? No way, not at eight.
[Kevin:] What if we lose at Birmingham Paul. Will you wanna go to the Chelsea match?
[Paul:] What Chelsea match?
[Kevin:] Well the Chelsea match is the following Tuesday.
[Paul:] Is that yes. Yeah.
[Kevin:] Yeah. And what Saturd, what's the match on Saturday before squeezed in between that?
[Paul:] What? I don't really know. Er... erm... is there a game... on Saturday?
[Kevin:] I think there might be.
[Paul:] Oh I've got it, I've got it. It's come to me. It's come to me. It's come to me.
[Kevin:] Oh not a big team is it, again?
[Paul:] Tottenham.
[Kevin:] Oh no!
[Paul:] Oh no it's not Tottenham. No, you know when we played our Birmingham replay?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] That night we were gonna play Tottenham.
[Kevin:] Were we?
[Paul:] Mark told me that. It was on his picture list.
[Kevin:] Really?
[Paul:] That night we were gonna play Tottenham
[Kevin:] Oh well.
[Paul:] in the league. [singing with microphone] Oh sorry.
[Kevin:] Perhaps we can play Tottenham when they haven't got er Gary Lineker in... their games any more.
[Paul:] Yeah. [singing] [with microphone]
[Kevin:] You start hitting periods like this and you think... oh no. You think every team you start worrying about almost every side don't you?
[Paul:] Yeah. Oh we always worry about every side cos Crystal Palace... always hate the... bad sides. Cos usually we do well against the Man United and as soon as we start... losing against them we start getting worried.
[Kevin:] They outplayed us last season at fairground didn't they? Liverpool
[Paul:] What do you mean at Liverpool? What did Liverpool do to them then?
[Kevin:] Well we lost... no we beat them two one
[Paul:] Yeah. I remember that.
[Kevin:] Most surprising result of that season.
[Paul:] Not really. Was it?
[Kevin:] It is when you see us struggling against Birmingham.
[Paul:] [singing]
[Kevin:] What do you think the score's gonna be against Birmingham?
[Paul:] Three one to Palace.
[Kevin:] Three one to Palace? Be great if that is.
[Paul:] [singing] We will score first.... They will equalize and we'll score two more....
[Kevin:] We have got to get another goalgetter. I mean old erm... does his bit crossing and splitting defences and getting goals but not scoring them.
[Paul:] What do you mean, getting goals and then not
[Kevin:] Now, well now it's just now we've got nobody who, who score actually really scores goals... except Thomas I would say at the moment. We really do need somebody who regularly pops them in.
[Paul:] What about Gabbiadini? What about Gabiadini?
[Kevin:] Well... he's coming along.
[Paul:] I don't see him
[Kevin:] I think he... he had a really good first half... I think it like, I think that... to be fair, apart from Coleman an Southgate everybody faded in the second half didn't they?
[Paul:] Yo.... Yo Yeah. What's that, Man United fans? Wallington. Where's Wallington? Oh that's boring. Why are we going this way then?
[Kevin:] Are, are Manchester United not the most cockiest fans going aren't they? They really are cocky.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Leeds, I like Man United, I don't, I don't hate them or anything I just, they get a bit I dunno. Mind you not that they've had an awful lot of success recently but they are, really are a cocky lot. Leeds are aggressive so you're always quite glad that you've beaten them but. Specially with Palace I think they seem to think but they really. Should have finished them off in that first
[Paul:] Yeah... [singing] Can I just flick the light on for a second?... Thank you....
[Kevin:] Yes, see who... I mean... I can't think of anybody who's in the reserves who could do any better than the lot that are in, in at the moment. Can you?... Other than perhaps give Colleymore a full blooded... game, right?
[Paul:] [singing] Doesn't he get a full blooded game at the moment?
[Kevin:] I think perhaps it's, it's worth it now. The season, I mean we're not gonna come top of the league are we? Right? We've gotta make sure we stay in the first division but
[Paul:] [singing with microphone]
[Kevin:] I think we can afford to blood Colimore as a good one now. He could have this whole of this season to get used to playing, right?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] And then who knows what fireworks could happen the season after. I mean... he's never gonna be a when he's obviously another Bright.
[Paul:] Who wants another Bright? We're supposed to to the better style of play.
[Kevin:] No, I don't know.
[Paul:] Well why did we buy Gabiadini? Why?... What would be the point of buying Gabiadini?
[Kevin:] No, well I, I mean you saw the point really. I mean... to pick I mean who, who... who could replace? He's, I, he, the way he plays is virtually unique, isn't he? So I mean you're not gonna say well let's go and get another Ian Wright off the peg so fair enough. But er... in the kind of situation where Ian Wright was very very good was in tight situations. differently through se sheer speed and... but er I can see Gabiadini... I mean Ian Wright never flicks like some of the flicks that he does. I mean some of the flicks are fantastic.... But erm there is a nice side to his game but god he doesn't half fade. Can you afford somebody that fades like that, I don't know it's
[Paul:] The whole team fades at the moment.
[Kevin:] I, I, that's what I would do. I'd drop Mortimer now and er... keep, I wouldn't, I'd... keep McGoldrick up... don't have him as a sweeper. I mean if you're gonna have McGoldrick as a sweeper then you'd have to bring Mortimer back but
[Paul:] Why not
[Kevin:] I noticed it was quite odd that he didn't use McGoldrick as a sweeper did he? I mean we, we went out to win that game didn't we, again? Well, don't you think?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] We didn't play a and yet the defence played well enough. So I think drop Mortimer and bring Colimore in for a full... ninety minutes and then and and again and again and again. Get sort of like... half a dozen games.
[Paul:] I think drop Bright Colimore.
[Kevin:] Well.
[Paul:] I mean Bright, I mean
[Kevin:] Well yes, you could say, yes
[Paul:] you've got, you've got an excuse to drop Bright.
[Kevin:] Bright's tired. You could say Bright is absolutely tired. He looks tired at the moment.
[Paul:] Just drop Bright. There's no need to drop Mortimer. Not when he's playing well.
[Kevin:] Mm yes. Well he, he didn't play well in the second half though did he? I don't think. He sort of
[Paul:] Give me a player that did, outside
[Kevin:] Yes, well, yes.
[Paul:] Coleman and Southgate.
[Kevin:] Well it... it was one of the, I mean when you saw Oh look, that's where Fergie made those funny faces. Oh and you didn't see that did you? in the paper. Look Croydon Caterham valley.... eyes....
[Ruth:] Christmas presents. Er one thing, what's the name of this record you want?
[Kevin:] Enya. It's in the, it's in... I think it's number nine in the hit parade
[Ruth:] What's it called?
[Kevin:] What's Enya's record called now Paul?
[Paul:] Eh?
[Kevin:] Enya's record?
[Paul:] Shepherd's.
[Kevin:] It's number nine wasn't it?
[Paul:] What?
[Kevin:] Nine, wasn't it?... Number nine.
[Paul:] I don't remember
[Ruth:] What's the cover look like?
[Paul:] It was number three when I
[Kevin:] It's silvery. Greyish.
[Paul:] It's not silvery it's blue.
[Kevin:] Is it?
[Ruth:] It was green last time you I asked you.
[Kevin:] Enya anyway....
[Ruth:] Are you celebrating your birthday tomorrow?
[Kevin:] Well Paul was asking this, when... well... I'll have some presents. Whoever comes, brings me in we'll open those. Do you want yours opened? I'll open one in the morning I think.... Up to you, what do you think?
[Ruth:] [yawning] I don't mind [].... So you'll take Paul to church in the morning will you?
[Kevin:] Alright....
[Ruth:] Well you can drop him off and pick him up.
[Kevin:] I could do, yeah.... Now you've found my keys for my I really need to get those
[Ruth:] What's that he's got?... What's that?
[Paul:] My.
[Ruth:] You bought it?
[Paul:] Yeah....
[Ruth:] More money than sense.... [singing with record]
[Kevin:] Wonder what he looks like now? [cough]
[Ruth:] How old was he there?
[Kevin:] Nineteen sixty eight, so that's... twenty three years ago. He was only twenty three then I should think....
[Ruth:] Let us have a bit of the paper.
[Kevin:] Listen to this. [reading] Absent minded spinsters Beryl and Doris lost their car in a repair shop [].
[Ruth:] Yeah I know! I read that.
[Kevin:] The sisters are eighty and eighty one reported the mini stolen
[Ruth:] And bought another one.
[Kevin:] got the... er three months later they received thirteen hundred pound pay off from insurance Commercial Union and promptly bought a replacement car. But when they booked their new car into Tristar Motors for its first service, they found their old model waiting for them [].
[Ruth:] That is... dreadful garage that didn't phone to find out why they hadn't picked it up though, isn't it? I'd have thought
[Kevin:] Unless they lost their address.... Hee hee hee hee. I mean the fact that this come... out is that the
[Ruth:] That was in the Mail... That was in the Mail.
[Kevin:] Yeah but the fact it's come out is that they've been honest. Isn't it? Right?
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Kevin:] You could have kept that quiet, anyway.
[Ruth:] Oh I should think the garage publicized it....... [singing] [] I remember this one. Who's that?
[Kevin:] Kinks isn't it?
[Ruth:] Ray Davies?
[Kevin:] Yes. Tears of a Clown.
[Ruth:] No it isn't.
[Kevin:] No I know but he, that's what he's famous for isn't it? Tears of a Clown.
[Ruth:] [singing] []
[Kevin:] I bet someone's vid, I bet Alan's videoing all these. Put them all together....
[Ruth:] [singing] []
[Kevin:] Look at the sets in [LAUGHTER] in sixty eight []. You could, as the camera goes by you can see where all the sellotape and the gum's stuck to boxes. I mean look at those boxes. Just... just... scrappy old blue... looks like something the art college has knocked up.
[Ruth:] Who is that?
[Kevin:] Moody Blues isn't it?...
[Ruth:] Is it?... Ha ha you used to look like that....
[Kevin:] They all look like [LAUGHTER] Allied Carpet salesmen now don't they []?
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Paul:] ...
[Kevin:] I mean... they looked old then don't they? I mean... you didn't have sixteen, seventeen year olds in those days coming through did you? They were sort of like
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Kevin:] I mean look at those boxes. You can see all the sellotape and the bubbles and
[Ruth:] Where?
[Kevin:] Oh you've got poor eyesight then....
[Ruth:] We need a new aerial.... Where's the other bit of paper?
[Kevin:] Which other bit of paper? Croydon Advertiser?
[Ruth:] Yeah, well which bit have you got there?
[Kevin:] There you are.
[Ruth:] Has it got the adverts in it?... Jaws is on telly Paul.... Er?
[Paul:] Jaws is on tonight?
[Ruth:] Jaws is on.... Included The Who, The Small Faces, The Move, The Kinks, The Moody Blues and Jimi Hendrix.... Absolute rubbish on television. That's what Merle said. Now House of Elliott's finished... she's got nothing to watch. I bet she's watching Bugsy Malone. Did you hear that, Winston Churchill's doing Bugsy Malone?
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Ruth:] And Catherine's in it and that er... I said ooh haven't you seen it Merle, she said no. I said ooh I've got the video.... She said well what's it like. I said ooh... you'll either find it really funny or you wouldn't... find it funny at all but erm
[Kevin:] How could you not find it funny?
[Ruth:] Catherine well I can see that
[Kevin:] Oh!
[Ruth:] I can imagine that Tom would find it funny. I said it's a very good film. Anyway Catherine's got a very small part in it. She's a German reporter or something. [LAUGHTER] Which I couldn't even remember a German reporter [].
[Kevin:] A German?
[Ruth:] I said what do you work for Fat Sam? I don't think she knows it very well. She said she's seen the film but none of the other family have seen it.
[Paul:] You know. Where they, they're having a fight and... they've got all the different people in the news like Chinese people go... and there's fights and then they get, there's custard pies thrown at them.
[Ruth:] Oh yeah.
[Paul:] And Germany going boom boom boom boom
[Ruth:] That's just gonna make an awful mess on stage isn't it if they?
[Kevin:] Is that all she's got to do? [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah. She said it's a very small part.
[Paul:] They go pow... they've got french people being fired at
[Kevin:] I wonder if they'll have the er custard pie part in it?
[Ruth:] Oh yeah? Splurge guns.
[Paul:] Splurge guns
[Kevin:] ?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Splurge guns....
[Kevin:] Oh look. Pete Townshend....
[Ruth:] The Who.... I met Liz in er Woking Paul. I met Liz in Woking. stall made over seventy pounds.... And... Jo won a major raffle prize. Liz said... isn't it typical. She won a huge box of groceries. Liz said I won a raffle prize. I said oh what did you win? She said well... it was down to the last two she said, I had a choice between a red and green cushion... or a fitness test. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Ah!
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] So she said I took the fitness test. I said you don't need a fitness test Liz []. She was waiting for her husband. Her husband's much older than her. Her husband
[Kevin:] Well she
[Ruth:] could be her father.
[Kevin:] Oh no.
[Ruth:] Well he's... he's fifty five. He is fifty five. That's why she's talking about him retiring isn't it?
[Kevin:] Yeah but I mean she [LAUGHTER] looks about fifty five to me [].
[Ruth:] Liz!
[Paul:] She's younger than you isn't she mum?
[Ruth:] Actu no she probably is forty five but she only looks
[Kevin:] She's not younger than us.
[Ruth:] about forty. The way she carries herself makes her look
[Kevin:] I... I thi feel I look I I feel thirty [LAUGHTER] so I mean I always think []
[Ruth:] And Liz makes herself look...
[Kevin:] I thought that was very interesting that
[Paul:] She's so fit though.
[Kevin:] Oh look it's all when The Who used to smash their rec, all their, I mean that used to be disgusting....
[Paul:] What are they doing?
[Ruth:] They used to break up all their things on stage. Dreadful isn't it?
[Paul:] Why?
[Ruth:] Well that's what pop groups used to do.
[Kevin:] They went to total excess and... then they had to come back the other way.
[Ruth:] Well look at them now.
[Kevin:] Well one died. The guy, the drummer just drove his car into the swimming pool didn't he and drowned.
[Paul:] What the one that drums there.
[Ruth:] Yes Paul. Not the one holding his guitar.
[Paul:] what's he trying to smash it all up for!
[Ruth:] Well that's what they did! They were only old instruments.... They didn't smash up anything valuable.
[Paul:] Why did he drive his car into the swimming pool?
[Kevin:] Well that was the point. I think they did.
[Ruth:] Oh. Why don't you ever pick up the freebie papers? They've got the property in, I'm always interested in those.... Is he still alive, Pete Townshend?
[Kevin:] Yes....
[Ruth:] Cor look! Christmas shopping in Croydon Tuesdays and Thursdays. And the week before Christmas Monday Tuesday... Thursday Friday.
[Paul:] He's dead though Jimmy Hendrix isn't he?
[Kevin:] Yes. He's dead.... Look here Paulie, you come and have a look at this. This is Crystal Palace going up in f flames. November the thirtieth nineteen thirty six. Look, there's the shape of Crystal Palace. Gutted in one night.
[Ruth:] Were you alive then dad?
[Kevin:] No I was not.
[Paul:] You said you could see it. You lying hound.
[Ruth:] No that was the that was the furniture repository.
[Paul:] No you said
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah that was the furniture repository... nothing about the crystal palace [].
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] No
[Ruth:] Thank you ma. I'd nearly forgotten that. I thought how on earth did I get myself [LAUGHTER] You plonker [].
[Kevin:] stuck in that one.
[Paul:] No ages ago you said you saw it.
[Ruth:] We've been to the site haven't we?...
[Kevin:] Eh?
[Paul:] site.
[Ruth:] The site is where the zoo is.... Oh I'm taking the phone up to phone my sister....
[Kevin:] I'll stop the tape and
[Ruth:] clock, with the children. We were Christmas shopping can you imagine
[Kevin:] Six hours!
[Ruth:] Awful. So I said what have you got it all then? she's bought your present but she can't post it. She said it's heavy
[Paul:] What is it?
[Ruth:] so you might be getting something else. It's quite a nice book....
[Paul:] So I
[Ruth:] So she's gonna buy Simon either chocolates... dairy miniatures
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] or... a supply of chocolate miniatures. Or a supply of caps for his gun.
[Kevin:] Can you pull the curtain please Paul.
[Paul:] What a big supply?
[Ruth:] Do you reckon that's quite a good idea?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] A supply of caps for his gun.
[Kevin:] Twelve
[Ruth:] Yeah I told her twelve. Or roll cap.
[Kevin:] Make sure it's Oh yeah.
[Ruth:] It's two new guns. One takes roll cap and one takes
[Kevin:] Well we've got plenty of roll cap haven't we? We've got a wadge of roll cap. That's
[Ruth:] Yeah but, the rate he
[Kevin:] you know
[Ruth:] goes through it. She might as well buy a year's supply. She doesn't know what to buy, she might as well buy something useful mightn't she?
[Kevin:] Yes it's true.
[Ruth:] There's no point in wasting six or seven pounds.
[Kevin:] No.
[Ruth:] As far as I can understand anyway. I said or a teddy that does something.
[Paul:] So she's bought me this book?
[Ruth:] She had already bought it before she phoned dad this morning, so
[Paul:] But she's not gonna buy, give me the book though?
[Ruth:] She says it's too heavy to post.
[Paul:] So she's not gonna give me the book?
[Ruth:] Well she might, but you might have to wait till after Christmas for it.
[Paul:] But she's gonna send something else?
[Ruth:] I'm not sure. No you might be old enough to be considered you can wait till after Christmas for your present.... Paul I'd like you to do a job.
[Paul:] I've done a job. I've been round to Merle's.
[Ruth:] No. I'd like you to do a proper job. I'd like you to take a sponge... and I'd like you to clean the paintwork on the stairs.... Please.
[Paul:] What about touching up?... I'll touch up.
[Ruth:] I've done the touching up.
[Paul:] So why does it need?
[Ruth:] You won't help will you....
[Paul:] I don't feel that it's worth doing.
[Kevin:] Trophy holders Palace are now just three steps away from another trip to Wembley. Oh that's good isn't it? Three steps
[Ruth:] You're not going this time.
[Kevin:] We are.
[Paul:] Yes we are.
[Kevin:] I don't think we'll get there actually. Chelsea kicked us out last time.
[Ruth:] Chelsea won today.
[Kevin:] Yeah I know. Against the team we lost five one to last week. Oh you can imagine what it's gonna be like tonight.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Kevin:] What I was glad of, we didn't play poorly. I didn't think we played poorly.
[Ruth:] No you didn't. You played Manchester United. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Ha ha ha ha
[Ruth:] report on the telly?
[Kevin:] Yeah they showed you that, yeah.
[Ruth:] Have you heard it?
[Kevin:] No, we'll have a look at it, I think Paulie missed it. Kanchelskis scored that third goal. It was a really funny goal wasn't it?
[Paul:] I know.
[Kevin:] I didn't see that. I didn't see who scored.
[Paul:] scored the second?
[Kevin:] Hughes I think....
[Paul:] What's on...?
[Ruth:] You'll have to listen to it then.
[Paul:] Oh
[Kevin:] Oh hang on you didn't see... no goals you didn't see?
[Ruth:] No.
[Kevin:] Oh. Oh I s, it was on telly?... Rewind a bit then.... Right.
[Ruth:] I do rewind it.... reading teletext
[Kevin:] Oh you were right, McClair Paulie....
[Ruth:] Kanchelski
[Kevin:] Kanchelskis
[Ruth:] Sorry?... Kannchelsk?
[Kevin:] Sshh....
[Ruth:] Did they tell you how he was?... Did they tell you how he was?
[Kevin:] No. Can we have a look at the, we'll have a look at the results cos I didn't see er... no no not that lot. Turn all of it off. Thank you for that bit.
[Paul:] I thought you meant Teletext.
[Kevin:] No I thought she caught the film. Actually there was a little bit, they showed you the four goals on the television so they might show it on the nine o'clock
[Paul:] Where did they, what, when did they show you on the telly?
[Kevin:] n news.
[Ruth:] No!
[Kevin:] Do you know what he was doing in the car? With the speaker? I th he thought I didn't, couldn't see.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] He was going... ooh ooh ooh. That poor person
[Ruth:] What do you want?
[Kevin:] on the end of that tape.
[Ruth:] [shouting] What do you want []?
[Kevin:] I want er
[Paul:] He hasn't got a clue what he wants.
[Kevin:] Eh?
[Ruth:] . What do you want?
[Kevin:] Let's have one... results weekend league programme. Let's have a look at
[Ruth:] One... five... one...
[Kevin:] Got the gates on there, look. Twenty nine thousand.
[Ruth:] Is that a lot?
[Kevin:] Well apparently it's gone up. It says in this paper that last they could only they could only hold twenty seven. But now apparently there's a, this... with this seating or something there's now can hold thirty one. And it wasn't completely full was it? Paulie?
[Paul:] No.
[Kevin:] So it could just, probably just squeeze th
[Ruth:] So Liverpool's got the biggest capacity has it?
[Kevin:] They could just get thirty thousand in there. I think thirty one's a bit
[Ruth:] So Liverpool's got the biggest capacity has it?
[Kevin:] Oh... Manchester United would... no Manchester United have er oh at home yeah. Liverpool can hold about forty two
[Ruth:] Manchester City twenty two
[Kevin:] That's pretty low
[Ruth:] nearly all those were with home fans weren't they?
[Kevin:] What?
[Ruth:] Well Manchester City versus Wimbledon. Nearly all those will be home fans. Wouldn't they?
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Ruth:] Twenty two and a half thousand!
[Kevin:] Ooh. And Manchester City are doing well don't forget. I knew, good old Wimbledon. That's how they stay up. That's how Wimbledon stay up. They go up to those games
[Ruth:] Nil nil.
[Kevin:] and they make it nil nil... they've drawn wi, now with Manchester City and Liverpool in two successive weeks, nil nil. You cannot break them down.
[Paul:] that's why we stay quite near the top. Wasn't it?
[Kevin:] Oh! Well Villa went above us. Or Villa are above us. We're sixth....
[Paul:] Yeah I know. No they can go above us. They always was above us.
[Kevin:] But they're above us on cos our goal average must look absolutely... diabolical now. The goal average must
[Ruth:] Paul. Watch my lips.
[Paul:] It was Wednesday that went ahead of us.
[Ruth:] Go and turn the television off in the kitchen please.
[Kevin:] Gosh Oldham, good old Oldham. Did us a favour there then didn't they?
[Ruth:] Now!
[Paul:] West Ham did us no favours.... [shouting] One two ah ee oh ee ah [].... [singing] []
[Kevin:] Can I have one five two
[Ruth:] What do you go like this. Press the red button.
[Kevin:] Cor! Barnsley beat Newcastle three nil Paul.
[Paul:] What's so weird about that?
[Kevin:] Well... poor old Newcastle.
[Paul:] What?
[Kevin:] Brighton beat Plymouth.
[Ruth:] Four nil was the biggest score.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Who won four nil?
[Ruth:] Well Tranmere lost four nil at Ipswich.
[Paul:] Oh that was
[Kevin:] Southend won again. They've gone up
[Paul:] I mean who would have thought that Tranmere would have lost four nil?
[Kevin:] Who would have thought that when you drew Southend in a cup, you think oh great we'll thrash them. They'll be could be a first division team next season.
[Paul:] How come?
[Kevin:] Southend? They're about fourth or fifth.
[Ruth:] Sowfend.
[Kevin:] They won again! Oh Swindon slipped again. They should have won that, against Grimsby.
[Paul:] That is so unlucky, Ian. Will they be home by now?
[Ruth:] Eight o'clock, they're hoping to get home.
[Kevin:] Er yeah I bet
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] Four nil []. Still.
[Kevin:] Poor kids. Oh I feel sorry for them.
[Ruth:] Yeah. You get used to it if you support Palace but
[Kevin:] Shut it!... I was just gonna say, what games have we lost? We are getting used to it, I mean there was a coup, a sea, last season we had
[Ruth:] Five one you lost not long ago!
[Kevin:] Yeah but I mean... last season we hardly, Paulie and I hardly ever used to come home having lost. Now we're starting to get used to it.
[Ruth:] Now you lot.
[Kevin:] What have we lost at home, Paulie, this season? Come on.
[Ruth:] A lot.
[Paul:] Arsenal.
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Paul:] Man United.
[Kevin:] Is that all?...
[Ruth:] Oh and you lost
[Kevin:] No hang on. That's the two we've seen.... Have we lost any others?... Oh well we can't complain then, only two.... Are you sure?... Q P R we were preciously close.... Birmingham we were preciously close. Here you are, programme here.... [cough]... They hit the crossbar as well.
[Paul:] Oh yeah we lost against West Ham as well.
[Kevin:] Yes. I thought we did. I was sure, I thou
[Ruth:] West Ham?
[Kevin:] I know. That was... that was annoying. We should not have wo, lost that.
[Ruth:] You'll soon be losing against Birmingham.
[Kevin:] Birmingham. [said with midlands accent]
[Paul:] Well they... there's another stupid mistake here! Birmingham City L C three R. They've got us down that we won! One nil. Yeah their stat statisticians are going mad.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Statisticians.... Would you like page now?...
[Kevin:] Yeah, page three.
[Ruth:] There were lots of draws. Thirteen draws.
[Kevin:] Oh look. Birmingham won two nil. Oh oh. Look at the gate they get.
[Paul:] Ooh. I don't really know.
[Ruth:] Bury one thousand eight hundred and eighty six people! [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Dreadful isn't it?
[Ruth:] Who's that with seventeen thousand? Wow West Brom.
[Kevin:] See West Brom, really a first division team. They shouldn't be in the third division.
[Ruth:] the figures is irrelevant isn't it?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] The figures are irrelevant.
[Kevin:] Tradition that is, West Brom. Just tradition. They're getting bigger
[Ruth:] Even if they went out the league they'd get that number.
[Kevin:] Yeah. Yeah. I've been a West Brom supporter
[Ruth:] They wouldn't be able to afford to keep the ground on would they?
[Kevin:] all my life. What?
[Ruth:] They wouldn't be able to afford to keep the ground on if they went out
[Kevin:] Well I mean it shows you what marvellous West Brom were. When West Brom got lost four nil to Woking... wasn't it Paulie? The next round they had West Brom supporters supporting, came down from
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Birmingham to support Woking in the next round.
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] It's pretty good isn't it?
[Ruth:] But that's all much of a muchness isn't it? Nothing over four.
[Kevin:] No.
[Paul:] was right. We er we would have played... Tottenham on the night of the Q P R game.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Paul:] I got mixed up with. He said Q P R.
[Ruth:] Did Woking play?
[Paul:] wasn't. We only played them away.
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Ruth:] What Woking did play?
[Kevin:] Yes well Paulie said they did. They played
[Paul:] What did they do? What did they do? Oh I've got to see what they did. Got to see what they did.
[Ruth:] Two hundred and seventy five people watching. Oh I thought Woking were
[Kevin:] at Gateshead.
[Paul:] I am so desperate to see what they did.
[Ruth:] Well that's it. There aren't any more results.
[Kevin:] Hearts won again.
[Paul:] What about one five seven?
[Ruth:] There aren't any more results!
[Kevin:] They don't have... they don't have amateur do they?
[Paul:] Yes they do. Try... can you try number one please.
[Ruth:] There's one off for fog.
[Kevin:] Fog? Oh yeah there it is. Berwick East Ham.
[Paul:] Can you go to number one one five eight. one five seven....
[Ruth:] What would you like dear?
[Paul:] I would like B B C one please. This is her. There's
[Kevin:] But the Linekers had better go home. They can't stay and look at the, that child all the time can they? I mean it's gonna be weeks isn't it?... They've arrested it now haven't they?
[Ruth:] There's noth there's nothing on number one about it at all.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Ruth:] Sport... football Saturday review. League table. Non leagues
[Kevin:] Ipswich
[Ruth:] Three... eight.
[Kevin:] Jemson saves the. Now we should have picked him up. Why didn't we pick him up? He just floated over Sheffield Wednesday, honestly.
[Ruth:] That's. Are you sure Woking...?
[Kevin:] Should be the next page
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] The premiere.
[Paul:] This is so... I tell you what I'm gonna run out of here and go boogey boogey
[Kevin:] Oh if they've won they've done it. Five nil! Oh it just
[Ruth:] Five nil.
[Paul:] [shouting] Oh yes []!
[Kevin:] They're just walking away with that division. It's a waste of time. The whole
[Paul:] Do you know what said to me? He said
[Ruth:] Are they top of that division?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] that Enfield, he was going, he said that Enfield would beat them five nil. That was his words.
[Kevin:] Enfield are the second team. And they've won five nil. They're about, that that makes them nineteen points in the lead.
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Ludicrous!
[Ruth:] So what happens? They go into the Vauxhall league next year?
[Kevin:] Yeah, they'll be definitely in the. That's in their division five... couple of seasons la we could be... fourth division team.
[Ruth:] Couple of seasons! If Crystal Palace don't succeed you could be playing Woking.
[Kevin:] Shut it.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]... Love it.
[Paul:] That means if they, they'll go up this season
[Kevin:] Shall we pack up supporting Palace and go to Woking Paulie?
[Ruth:] Yes. I'd pay for that. I'll pay for
[Paul:] Very funny.
[Ruth:] a Woking season ticket... free, for nothing.
[Kevin:] I I've done a tu... turncoat once already so it's easier [LAUGHTER] for me [].
[Ruth:] There's nothing on Lineker there at all. Yet other times
[Paul:] I think we should go and watch Woking more often.
[Ruth:] What? You mean like every other week?
[Paul:] Yeah, when we're not watching
[Ruth:] Yeah
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] No I think I think we should take... go to some more Woking evening games dad.
[Ruth:] Oh do you?
[Paul:] Yes! I mean we've never been to it.
[Ruth:] Have you ever watched Woking play?
[Paul:] No.... I want to.
[Kevin:] Lineker. The condition of the baby son of England's football is poorly but stable. That was yesterday's.
[Ruth:] Ah... oh that's exactly what the other one said. Poorly but stable. That was on six o'clock this morning that was on.... Two people died
[Paul:] Oh. Can I just watch this please?
[Kevin:] Ugh it's Jaws. It's gross. Guys getting eaten.
[Paul:] it or something?
[Ruth:] No. You don't need to hear the music.
[Kevin:] Ugh that's horrible. This is a horrible film Jaws. Look it's got somebody's body in its
[Ruth:] It's only a plasticine model.
[Kevin:] Gross!
[Paul:] But I I would just like to see how awful the graphic
[Kevin:] He's died. His mate's died look.
[Ruth:] I think he's dead. Ooh!
[Kevin:] Gone under. Took him under.
[Ruth:] Oh no!
[Paul:] Can I see? I I don't mind watching it without the noise....
[Kevin:] Gosh quick. They're leaking.
[Paul:] Please mum. Oh...
[Kevin:] That's in the studio.
[Ruth:] It's all in the studio isn't it?
[Kevin:] Oh no it's not....
[Paul:] I mean the... the plasticine sharks... are stupid.
[Kevin:] Oh the story of this particular one is that it er er... they tried to make out that the erm... that the the the... the shark has actually got something against [LAUGHTER] the human beings [] on this boat and it keeps chasing them. Here it comes again.... There's in a studio, that bit.... Look out here it comes. Look it's gonna knock her right off.... He spots it....
[Paul:] Ugh.
[Kevin:] Ugh.... Going through all the previous ones....
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] These plasticine models are so awful [].
[Kevin:] Yeah they look gross now don't they?
[Paul:] Oh they are quite lifelike....
[Kevin:] Oh god it's broken.... Oh you can see it's a model can't you?...
[Paul:] Ugh... it's swallowed it.
[Ruth:] My stones didn't come out very shiny.
[Paul:] I like these bits where there's a shot which goes down....
[Ruth:] So can I start wearing my dressing gown before Christmas then?
[Kevin:] No. It's got to be wrapped up.... So has your, you can't have your song book either till after Christmas....
[Ruth:] Oh, I don't mind that.... Ugh the towel's dirty.... [sounds of toilet]
[Kevin:] [shouting] Ruthus we're taping []....
[Ruth:] We're not gonna know the person who's going to listen....
[Paul:] Geoffrey Chaucer's here again. speaking into microphone
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] He keeps going Geoffrey Chaucer's here []. But we saw the best bit Paulie. [LAUGHTER] The last five minutes [].
[Ruth:] Have you turned it off?
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] No, it was the last you know the dramatic end that everybody... who's been waiting for watching that film from seven o'clock till []
[Ruth:] that off?
[Kevin:] Er?
[Ruth:] You haven't turned that off?
[Kevin:] No.
[Ruth:] Oh.
[Kevin:] It records everything Ruthie.
[Ruth:] Why is this dirty again?
[Kevin:] All of
[Paul:] Yeah mum has got a towel dirty.
[Ruth:] I'm fed up with you. I keep putting it in there, clean one.
[Kevin:] But the towel's for wiping your hands on.
[Paul:] Don't blame me!... It's not my fault. I'm just Geoffrey Chaucer. The famous poet Canterbury Tales.... Where art thou Jonathon. [LAUGHTER] Where art thou Jonathon [].
[Ruth:] Do you want to do any jobs.
[Kevin:] ... I've got to finish my quiz off. Must do that map.
[Paul:] Disgusting, Jaws the movie.... Too gory for Geoffrey Chaucer even.
[Ruth:] Paul I think you should go to bed now.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] No way dudes.
[Ruth:] Busy day tomorrow, yes?
[Paul:] No way dudes. You've got to be joking.
[Kevin:] We'll wait till the end of the tape and then you can go.
[Paul:] You have gotta be joking man.... Boogey boogey. Zachramondo dudes [LAUGHTER].
[Kevin:] I think Paulie's invalidating most sides by total and utter gibberish.
[Ruth:] Well isn't that what they want to know?
[Kevin:] Eh?... What the mental cases [LAUGHTER] in Woking []
[Ruth:] totally illiterate.
[Paul:] mumalissimo
[Kevin:] I used some big words on the way down.
[Paul:] We're Italian now.... Mumalissimo where are you bonjourdino....
[Ruth:] Oh Paul don't be silly! Go to bed if you're going to be silly.... Go and learn your words for tomorrow....
[Kevin:] bought one of those stinky old er... pine tree things and Paulie ripped the whole wrapper off it
[Ruth:] Oh!
[Paul:] Spice.
[Kevin:] and we nearly died. It nearly overcame us.
[Ruth:] I bet you did.
[Kevin:] It nearly over, we were in danger of going off the road with it. It was so strong
[Ruth:] Why did you let him?
[Kevin:] I put it in the boot.
[Ruth:] Why did you let him?
[Kevin:] I think it'll have to be put in the garage and then put in the car once a week or something.
[Ruth:] Why did you let him do it?
[Kevin:] I dunno.... Unsupervised as you would say.
[Ruth:] You've got no control over him at all have you?
[Paul:] Oh yeah mum wouldn't have done it would she?
[Kevin:] You'd ripped the wrapper before...
[Paul:] We had the wrapper off last time.
[Ruth:] No we didn't.
[Paul:] Yes we did!
[Ruth:] No, you pull it out a bit at a time, not just
[Paul:] No, but we had it off last time.
[Kevin:] Yeah the spice was... [LAUGHTER] was not nice [].
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] The spice wasn't half as nice as
[Ruth:] So it's... it's totally wasted then is it?... Totally wasted.
[Paul:] It would have been disgusting anyway.
[Ruth:] Is it totally wasted then?
[Paul:] Yes. Yes.
[Kevin:] No well no it's usable.
[Paul:] Absolutely fantastic wastage. [singing] []...
[Kevin:] Wimbledon got got the right royal rave. Watch the super dons flatten the....
[Paul:] The white what rave?
[Kevin:] The. How come they use the same box office, I suppose they would wouldn't they? Seven seven one. Oh it must be funny working for Palace at the moment. You think you're doing well and you get hold of another
[Paul:] Oh I get it. Royal... royal?
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Paul:] Joe Royle?
[Kevin:] yeah.
[Paul:] Can I watch it, can I read it?
[Kevin:] Eh? No. Watch, I'm reading my paper now.
[Paul:] You're always reading it.
[Kevin:] Oh look you always get these people [reading] we have just witnessed the top London club suffering a humiliating defeat at the hands of [].... Oh this looks good, let's see.... Is it horror?
[Paul:] Don't know....
[Kevin:] Now you'll see the goals on this, now. Because it was on the other B B C one so it should be on this one as well.
[Paul:] You saw them?
[Kevin:] Yeah. All four goals.
[Paul:] When?
[Kevin:] Here's a letter that m mistakenly done today. It says it says [reading] it now seems painfully obvious that after our performance at Forest we have reached the stage where teams have finally worked us out. For some time we've been in a false position and our two games against Birmingham have confirmed this []. Dunno why they're saying this bit. [reading] Steve may explain the game at Saint Andrews was for low to ground players []. Don't well they. [reading] But surely by now we have a squad to deal with such eventualities. We have clearly lost our way in both fullback positions []. Well that wasn't true today. Our two fullbacks played the best... of the Palace players, I thought. Both were, couldn't been asked any more of. Both saved instant goals.... Er... both got feet in just as goals were about to be shot and scored.... [reading] This is er ob now obvious after it's... aft as it is restricting our attacking options. What possible reason is there for not playing Bodin? A proven player of international quality who enjoys going forward. We are told that we have to pay Swindon another fifty thousand if he plays. But if we went out of the cup it could cost us more in lost revenue. Come clean Steve. Swallow your pride. Play Bodin in the position you bought him for and show off our defence that otherwise will leak goals like two seasons ago []. It's not true. Bodin's... I don't reckon's as good a defender as that. He's a good passer of the ball have him in the middle.
[Paul:] Well where then?
[Kevin:] Dunno. Well we cou, he might be able to use him if Thomas can't play erm on Tuesday. I can well believe Thomas won't be fit for Tuesday now. Not after ricking his ankle like that. If his ankle's any, half as bad as mine he wouldn't play on Tuesday.
[Paul:] I chose the right Tuesday to go then didn't I? It wouldn't be very good without Jeff Thomas there would it?
[Kevin:] No.
[Paul:] Who do you reckon will be captain then?
[Ruth:] He's gonna have steroids for it....
[Paul:] Who'd be captain?
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] Pardon Ruth [].
[Ruth:] He's gonna have steroid injections in his...
[Paul:] Ankle.
[Kevin:] You mean steroid, do you?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Paul:] She does.
[Ruth:] I do, I think.
[Kevin:] Aha. What they, what they deflate your swelling quicker do they?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Yeah who would er... be the captain?
[Kevin:] Humphreys isn't it?
[Paul:] He's not playing.... I suppose Young would be wouldn't he?
[Kevin:] Thorn... Thorn's been captain before now as well hasn't he?... Thorn and Young! Couldn't cr er... complain about that. It didn't look like, you have a look at this goal. Didn't look like Young's... problem. Put a tape in Paulie just in... get a tape quick. And see if we can tape this th th th last time they showed all four goals. Clearly B B C
[Paul:] I see, No.... Is this on I T V separate?... Are you there?... Are ready to record straight away, bumph with the record button?
[Kevin:] Just a minute.
[Ruth:] He wants to do this rap thing doesn't he?
[Kevin:] Oh yeah.
[Ruth:] I want to
[Kevin:] Yeah but still
[Ruth:] going all night while you were
[Kevin:] Yeah... ha.
[Ruth:] out... Will you chew those?... You've been a very good boy... right ha... flowers are floppy
[Kevin:] We can record one of the party then can't we?
[Ruth:] Yep.
[Kevin:] You can get loads out of that could you cos people will just forget it.
[Ruth:] Yeah so... except you've got to list everybody's name.
[Kevin:] Yeah but then... list the name, then list the names of the next home tape again... they'll think it's
[Ruth:] Yeah but you're supposed to listen to it all off and see.
[Kevin:] Oh no ridiculous isn't it!
[Ruth:] Well no so they can identify... the people, isn't it.
[Kevin:] Yeah but then yo er... in a party situation you could probably do that in the first minutes couldn't you, I would have thought... everybody in th... room will have spoken... in the first five minutes wouldn't they?
[Ruth:] So I've just gotta jot it down quickly then.
[Kevin:] Yeah... Oh we've got more this time
[Ruth:] Yeah well... when I saw Alison's lo the flan recipes, I panicked.
[Kevin:] Aha.
[Ruth:] Right all those need slicing and buttering and putting on there.
[Kevin:] Right, better do that then... so is that or kilo?
[Ruth:] hundred... ha... there's a tomatoes.
[Kevin:] Gosh!
[Ruth:] I'll make some sandwiches... can you feel that's soft enough, if you don't like that
[Kevin:] This
[Ruth:] Well no I... got butter
[Kevin:] No I'll put that on it's easier... save that for your Mum... put them on here did you say?
[Ruth:] Yeah
[Kevin:] This tray?
[Ruth:] Yeah, I'll just put this out.
[Kevin:] [cough]
[Ruth:] I think these flans will freeze... so what we don't need
[Kevin:] What've they got in them though?... Got any little flags for what they've got in them?
[Ruth:] This one is prawn... and pepper
[Kevin:] Paprika?
[Ruth:] Pu no... well... red pepper... with paprika sprinkled on.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] And this is... egg and bacon and mushroom... a little piece of cheese... Orville! Well really, looks like I've only done two each... but I think I'll freeze... I'll only cut two up... lovely!
[Kevin:] I might be able to eat that...... where's the little
[Ruth:] Want the sharp
[Kevin:] black knife?
[Ruth:] What do you want the little one for?
[Kevin:] You said the black knife, you said.
[Ruth:] I said the sharp one... this one... he's fairly cheap but they use him a lot,....
[Kevin:] Alright and don't burn them then.
[Ruth:] I think they burn very easy... Do you think everyone will dress up today?... Don't cut them completely in half like that.
[Kevin:] Well I have.
[Ruth:] Well, oh... best if you cut them almost to the end... like that... then butter them and stick them back together again... Have I got that cream?... I've sort of forgot about the puddings... there's blackcurrant torte up there, can you see?... And I've two
[Kevin:] Ooh yeah!
[Ruth:] black... tiny black forest gateaux, but they're here for tea aren't they so
[Kevin:] Well
[Ruth:] no need
[Kevin:] well yes I do tha you've done this before, that... this buffet thing, it's quite nice, people can sort of like, if they're staying they can just... say y leave it out and you sa eat whenever you want to really innit?
[Ruth:] Oh... Nigel!... I haven't got a pie slice.......
[Kevin:] So did I hear you say to your Mum that there's gonna be a ra exactly the same rap at a
[Ruth:] Well it sounds the same... couldn't believe it! Is there sugar in my coffee?
[Kevin:] No sorry, I only put, well you got one... I suppose if they know that this rap thing won't last long
[Ruth:] It won't last long
[Kevin:] will it, so it's all gotta
[Ruth:] No
[Kevin:] be done this year
[Ruth:] she's... it could've been saying
[Kevin:] well it she could've been done last year but... we've not done this year, be gone.
[Ruth:] No... it's funny unle I Mum says is it something that's just been published this year... you know, like if someone just published
[Kevin:] No.
[Ruth:] and everyone jumped on the bandwagon, or have they all made up their own?
[Kevin:] That is the whole... point of rap... they're completely personal... it's a personal rap.
[Ruth:] Well Michael says you haven't been to a decent service for six weeks, till back. [LAUGHTER]... So we went so and so, that was dreadful! We went so and so, that was dreadful!
[Kevin:] can put your finger on it though,it it's like... it's not... what it used to be.
[Ruth:] That's it... well tha... there's Peggy says... I said oh well I'm a bit erm... worried about taking them... and I said they have been known to get up and walk out, and said, surely not! But Peggy says... well why shouldn't they walk out, if they're that old and they're... don't li... why shouldn't they [LAUGHTER] get up and walk out []?... I thought Peggy, I... ah.
[Kevin:] I don't think they, they don't walk out of we of er er er er er Por
[Ruth:] They wouldn't of, no.
[Kevin:] Portis Head there it's too in ten tenuous.
[Ruth:] But in a way, I i i is it better for them to walk out than... seethe and... you know, I sa... are you putting a bit much on there?... Tricia says it's not butter... Are we exchanging Christmas presents today, did you ascertain that off your Mum?
[Kevin:] I don't know... not really.
[Ruth:] I've got them
[Kevin:] No I think sh
[Ruth:] We've gotta give them to them today have we... Andy and Michelle?
[Kevin:] I seem to remember she says she's gonna... do that on the fourteenth.
[Ruth:] What Christmas presents, same time as the Golden Wedding?
[Kevin:] Mm, think so.
[Ruth:] What at her rap?
[Kevin:] Suppose so... give them, I mean I don't think they're gonna be opened then.
[Ruth:] Right.
[Kevin:] As I said, If I remember right, I said well when are you gonna come and see us before? She said on the fourteenth, you know and give it to you then.
[Ruth:] Well who's gonna come and see us... eh?
[Kevin:] Mum and... what's it... and presumably, Michelle and Andy can give out presents that day as well, can't they, cos they'll be there.
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Kevin:] Where do I put the ready?
[Ruth:] Well I'm gonna give Mutty that cake today..., just pile them up... Do you think twenty four's enough to do to begin with?
[Kevin:] I think there is.
[Ruth:] There is?
[Kevin:] Ju oh.
[Ruth:] For twelve people.
[Kevin:] Pile them up.
[Ruth:] Do twelve egg ones, please.
[Kevin:] Should never have told Bill.
[Ruth:] was coming with clingfilm... but stick the rest in there... What are you eating?... Gotta take box to school and I can't be bothered, cos you've got the car tomorrow haven't you?
[Kevin:] Mhm... a three day week.
[Ruth:] You've got the car Friday, and you got the car... Wednesday?
[Kevin:] this butter's
[Ruth:] Cos you're going down to aren't you on Wednesday?
[Kevin:] Oh yes.
[Ruth:] Or are you not? Have you sent Val a postcard?
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Ruth:] Are you going to or not?
[Kevin:] I didn't say I'd come and see him
[Ruth:] No.
[Kevin:] on Wednesday
[Ruth:] No.
[Kevin:] But I did say, I'd come and say on the... the Christmas show so
[Ruth:] Well have you sorted out your... holiday?
[Kevin:] ... yeah I... well I... I did say that I was gonna play badminton then go away and sort out that... when I see Ian
[Ruth:] On the Wednesday? And have you sorted out your holiday?... How many holidays you got left? I've only got
[Kevin:] No I haven't
[Ruth:] two days left
[Kevin:] Er yeah I'm sure I have.
[Ruth:] So if you go to the Christmas do on nineteenth then you just bring Simon home with you afterwards, I think... don't you?... But you need to tell Zoe.
[Kevin:] Right.
[Ruth:] Cos he finishes at four o'clock on that day anyway.
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Ruth:] So you just bring them home at lunchtime or something give him a
[Kevin:] Can you do that, yeah?
[Ruth:] Yeah we did it last year cos I broke up the day before last year... all of mine still at school that day.
[Kevin:] Right... Got a... roll of film for the camera?
[Ruth:] What for?
[Kevin:] Well don't you need it to be here?
[Ruth:] Oh what on the nineteenth?
[Kevin:] She go... yeah.
[Ruth:] That's a long time ahead... two weekends to go... You ought to see how badly that can't you when you... ha ha... [LAUGHTER] three bits on there []... suppose you could do that now couldn't you?
[Kevin:] Better than what I'm doing... any of it though.
[Ruth:] If you allow a bit like.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] I don't think I'll pie, you're right... put out mince pies... we didn't win on the pools, I've checked... I'll throw away the coupon or do you wanna see what you got?
[Kevin:] Have you checked the aways is it?
[Ruth:] Yes, they're all the aways written out on the top... B T shareholders, do you want this?
[Kevin:] No thank you.
[Ruth:] Next week pools coupon?
[Kevin:] Yep.
[Ruth:] Crystal Palace... cam Coppell campaigns.
[Kevin:] Mm, keep that... where did the C draw... voucher go by the way?
[Ruth:] Somewhere. That one being drawn... twenty six of November... what's that one, that's Park School.
[Kevin:] Oh I must see If I can er... Bob and Mum... not Karen and but... Mum.
[Ruth:] Does Mike have some er... Georgian Hotel, look at that... Christmas jokes, Daddy, Eddie's broken my new dog... how did he do that... I hit him on the [LAUGHTER] head with it []... Why is Father Christmas unemployed?... Maybe you know that one, cos he got the sack.
[Kevin:] We've both seen that one Ruth, is it alright?
[Ruth:] Why?... Oh no... Fred
[Kevin:] With your way you put your foot in it
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] isn't it, oh yes... perfectly harmless... no malice meant there at all but you try and convince somebody of that.
[Ruth:] Fred it's rude to keep reaching over the table for the mince pies, haven't you got a tongue in your head?... Yes, but my arm's longer... Oh it's the Christmas crossword I could photocopy that for the children.
[Kevin:] Where do you get that from?
[Ruth:] Oh look how about a Christmas customs, I wonder if the answers are in the back... what kind of fruit sauce is traditionally eaten with turkey?
[Kevin:] Cranberry.
[Ruth:] A well known Christmas decoration was the sacred plant of the druids... what is an advent calendar?... Was the sending of Christmas cards introduced, one... one eight two, one eight four six, or nineteen O three?
[Kevin:] Oh let's do that, I like that one
[Ruth:] What event does... a celebrate? There's ten questions... well look up, what's wanted, can you match these nursery rhyme features with suitable Christmas presents... Humpty Dumpty, Old Mother Hubbard, Wee Willy Winky, Jack Spratt, Doctor Foster,
[Kevin:] Now that Christmas card one, I'll have that one.
[Ruth:] And there's a nativity quiz, quiz... What were swaddling clothes?... Why were the shepherds on a hill side afraid?...... this is quite a good one... shall I
[Kevin:] ... that'll be the lot.
[Ruth:] Erm... yeah... I expect the answers will be at the back.
[Kevin:] Well I'll do a I know I'll do a Christmas section then, right?
[Ruth:] Mhm mm... there's some answers
[Kevin:] Oh right,
[Ruth:] Christmas clothes how you fill in the blanks, I saw something come sailing by, that's quite good... Little Jack Horner sat in the corner eating his
[Kevin:] Who'd have put Michelle with this, little bit unfair to put Michelle to put between them.
[Ruth:] Mutty.
[Kevin:] That should be alright then, shouldn't it?
[Ruth:] And she's got a child in that book.
[Kevin:] Oh right.
[Ruth:] Mu, Michelle, Mutty and Michael... but on the other hand... Michael might have to budge... You can change it all I
[Kevin:] Done it whe who's Paul with?... With a No, Paul should go with
[Ruth:] Michelle and Mutty.
[Kevin:] Mrs Michelle and Mutty, balance it up.
[Ruth:] Andrew and Carole you're sure they've got to
[Kevin:] Andrew and Carole yes, Andrew and Carole, fine.
[Ruth:] What goes... oh oh oh?... Father Christmas laughing backwards.
[Kevin:] You could put that as in as bu bum question couldn't you, see if anybody gets it, right?
[Ruth:] Postman, I have a Christmas parcel but the name on it is obliterated... can't be for me then, my [LAUGHTER] name's Jones [].
[Kevin:] So what is the best way to do, that where you ask the questions, now... they did... if you could help me out is the when... you do one section... an you hand all your papers in... somebody else marks them
[Ruth:] Well you don't need a lot of room, yeah just pass it around
[Kevin:] Ah but no what they did is somebody else marks them while the the next round was going on for
[Ruth:] Well no you it'd have to be you
[Kevin:] and then they announced
[Ruth:] that marked it, you couldn't do that... you'd
[Kevin:] could
[Ruth:] have to pass them round and mark them instantly... then start the next section.
[Kevin:] Would you, why?
[Ruth:] Well cos what person could then be lying around waiting to mark the answers?
[Kevin:] Oh I see yes.
[Ruth:] You've only got one quiz master.
[Kevin:] Oh I see, yes, that's right... Well let them mark their own... I mean who's gonna cheat?
[Ruth:] Alright
[Kevin:] It's a bit confusing innit, swapping the papers round?
[Ruth:] Where's the plum in this plum pudding? Would you expect to find a dog in the plum pudding... Milly, what did you get that ten P for? Tilly, carol singing, Milly, and what did you fifty P for? Tilly, stopping... Right I won't look at the answers.
[Kevin:] Now I can't go oh no!
[Ruth:] What?
[Kevin:] I can't give that oh oh oh, can I, cos you're in the blinking quiz!... Come here!
[Ruth:] That says staff library, please return on it... I didn't look it, I didn't look at any answers for the questions.
[Kevin:] Can't do the oh oh, that was funny... now you'll know it!... You are daft, honestly!
[Ruth:] Well you could just leave it out!... What do you me why am I daft... it wasn't one of
[Kevin:] You
[Ruth:] the questions, it was one of the jokes!... You didn't say stop reading out the jokes.
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] I wouldn't ever stop, cos you
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] well how would you have known then, you wouldn't have waded through the whole book looking for it, would you?... There aren't the hours in the day, ten to eleven, your Mum's coming at... half past twelve.
[Kevin:] Half past twelve.
[Ruth:] Knowing her, quarter past twelve.
[Kevin:] So I'll take from whatever you gi can't get caught for that one.
[Ruth:] What?... [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Someone played that accidentally [LAUGHTER] you can't use that! Knowing your Mum is a... served you right!
[Ruth:] She's been getting quite a lot of in our jokes... over a couple... ha!... Oh he's forgotten his cool dude glasses.
[Kevin:] Oh dear.
[Ruth:] Oh, my Mum... rap... he's going to cool dude, cool dude. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] I mean if you told her, put a C in front of it and that's what it is.
[Ruth:] What?
[Kevin:] Rap.
[Ruth:] Oh [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] She wouldn't understand our line of
[Ruth:] No.
[Kevin:] Crap, what's that?... Crap?... You should of let
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] [whispering] think what you have to do Mum, so you ought to say, when they say rap, you can say that it's crap []
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] and she heard it, it's crap.... You think, how can somebody be on the earth, I mean
[Ruth:] And not have
[Kevin:] you don't have to appreciate do you, oh yeah
[Ruth:] But there's probably more people who don't know what rap is, in England, than do... think about it.
[Kevin:] [whispering] Yes I suppose so [].
[Ruth:] I bet there are.
[Kevin:] I reckon there's a lot of parents
[Ruth:] Load of single people over the age of thirty.
[Kevin:] know or at least sh they don't it's called rap... I've this [singing] Yen da da day dan dan dan da day [] I mean
[Ruth:] We mustn't he's got really, really... if it's not done well it's a... it's worse than... not doing it all.
[Kevin:] Well the bad ones are as when the kid do it themselves... isn't it? They make up the words themselves, right
[Ruth:] Yeah
[Kevin:] whereas... Paul's
[Ruth:] an the
[Kevin:] been... having some kind of direction there, hasn't he, I mean at
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] however nauseating, it does all make sense, doesn't it?
[Ruth:] Right, does it?
[Kevin:] Actually it not an easy thing to, it sounds easy, but it's not an easy thing to do.
[Ruth:] No I don't did one... it did, you heard the little boy that's not getting on at home... dreadful
[Kevin:] You turned it off?
[Ruth:] No... there's one on... the teachers are picking on him
[Kevin:] Are they?
[Ruth:] surprise, surprise
[Kevin:] Ah the kids deserve
[Ruth:] come on you... no... course teachers will pick on him, the only secondary school teacher that John he walked round with him... he might have shot out of there
[Kevin:] That was all about
[Ruth:] backside!
[Kevin:] that was only because he was... like transferred there... I thought that
[Ruth:] Well
[Kevin:] he was gonna tone do, he had to tone
[Ruth:] well
[Kevin:] down when he was
[Ruth:] he obviously hasn't and I think it's really funny!
[Kevin:] Or a Christmas
[Ruth:] Pompous!
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Ruth:] Ooh I could of gone
[Kevin:] I mean he should
[Ruth:] he should have gone to private school shouldn't he, really... but then
[Kevin:] Well probably the Dad would... but he
[Ruth:] No I don't think they can afford it.
[Kevin:] The irony is, I don't think all the time, they are as pompous... they give an air pomposity don't they?
[Ruth:] Yes I know, I think Jeremy is quite
[Kevin:] I don't think that Dad is at all, but
[Ruth:] No, it's just... how they appear.
[Kevin:] And how you were brought up, I suppose.
[Ruth:] How I was brought up, but a no one 's ever called me pompous... I mean, the way walks around as if he owns the place, I think it's really funny!... And I don't suppose he's made, didn't have very many friends, did he, really, at Goldsworth? I mean Paul was one of his friends... he never had that many... so... that probably means he finds it hard to make friends, you can tell
[Kevin:] It's just as well Paul didn't go with him, cos Paul would've been singled out as well.
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Teachers always... think right, he's with him, he's a new
[Ruth:] Yep.
[Kevin:] you know, identify with it, even if you don't... portray those... feelings.
[Ruth:] Well I'll tell you this once... and then
[Kevin:] Who told you that then?
[Ruth:] Ooh who told me...... I think it came from Great Grandma and then told her.
[Kevin:] That's if you were interested.
[Ruth:] Well impeachable source but I there's no smoke without fire... and everything else I've heard... I've got to set this table.
[Kevin:] You can't please them, that Paul managed to get the school team and he can't
[Ruth:] Ha... Well he said he'd probably get on alright at Horstell... that's the irony of it... wasn't necessary for him to go to Winston
[Kevin:] Do you think Mel would, I would of thought Melanie might have been the type t to sort of li... be lenient on that, you know,
[Ruth:] What different schools?
[Kevin:] Yeah, sort of say well
[Ruth:] Well I mean Phillip wanted to go to... Winston.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Ruth:] I am making a mess!
[Kevin:] Urgh!... Should of left, Rufus.
[Ruth:] Well I did leave the other one... how long do you leave it?
[Kevin:] I'd have... should of left it till [LAUGHTER].
[Ruth:] I think Moira's gone to church... I think she has.
[Kevin:] Well I might not... Peter's entire office... dip switch... Trev.
[Ruth:] Well I I thought... oh... go and watch the telly... and I'll send Paul round when he gets back... right, I'll take these two mugs to school, those with the on... what did you do with the other one?... It's got quite well spiders on, but at least you feel they're being used we don't get
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] enough out of Ha... Oh drink... two, four, six, eight, ten, there's enough bowls for ten people to have fruit salad.
[Kevin:] That's your lot.
[Ruth:] That's your lot... that through... how many seats there in the front room? One, two, three, four five... six, seven, eight... no one, two... three, four... there's nine so we'll probably have to take some stools in, but I won't take them in till the last minute.
[Kevin:] When do I add the drink in?
[Ruth:] Well what needs to be cold that's out there?
[Kevin:] What we having?
[Ruth:] I haven't got a clue, it's up to you... there's a box of wine that's been in the fridge for about six weeks!... We'll have that, that's quite a good one I think, though.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] That's Sainsbury's Muscadet we'll have that.
[Kevin:] Yep.
[Ruth:] So there's white wine... I'll put these two in the fridge, so there's sparkling orange... and there's... Sainsbury's Cascade... put a Kiri... er what does Karen have, Appletise
[Kevin:] Appletise.
[Ruth:] is it?... Put that in the fridge, there's room in the fridge now... have you put an Appletise in the fridge? In fact you could bring quite a bit of it in and put it in the fridge. Are you going to change?... Oh you have changed.
[Kevin:] Bloody cheeky moo!
[Ruth:] Well those you're gardening trousers.
[Kevin:] Oh they're alright, they go nice.
[Ruth:] Right, I'll put some make up on... Just read them straight out the book can't you?
[Kevin:] No I was gonna re write them down though.
[Ruth:] I'll mark them there.
[Kevin:] Yeah but you'd... mark the ones you know, Ruthy!
[Ruth:] I haven't!
[Kevin:] Where's the answers?
[Ruth:] In the back of the book...... How many sections have you got altogether?
[Kevin:] Three so far.
[Ruth:] What pictures?
[Kevin:] Two pictures... and a map... countries... it's Africa so you're you're gonna do quite well Ruthy.
[Ruth:] You're joking, there's about fifty countries in Africa aren't there!
[Kevin:] look at it, I find it makes them easier because I think... there's gon so that's gonna be quite hard isn't it, I'll
[Ruth:] Do mix the countries... or
[Kevin:] Eh?
[Ruth:] is it just South Africa?... Well what if they the Burkina Faso
[Kevin:] Oh no I haven't been that... that bad but I reckon I've
[Ruth:] Well what are they like?
[Kevin:] I've done some that i the pe
[Ruth:] I mean you're in the middle of a country
[Kevin:] I've given them... er question mark on the shape of the country... it's a map... but the... ha what I think is easy, I dunno... I mean to I mean I look at maps all day long, so
[Ruth:] Well I can't place very many, all I've placed are the ones in the middle that I used to live in... I could probably place... Zambia, Malawi... Zimbabwe... whatever the Conga is now called, I don't even know what that's now called... that's about my limit, Ghana... Nigeria, might be able to place... if it's geographical features I could place more... how many countries have you given then... in Africa?
[Kevin:] Twelve.
[Ruth:] Fwoar!... I won't cheat, go and look it up... oh we're working in pairs though aren't we?
[Kevin:] Mm... that's what I mean, I y... we found that with four, is even more so, what some people were strong on... others weren't and it it worked round... you know, if you picked your team right... everybody would thought perhaps it was better to have one woman in the team... or, you know, if you had four women
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] have one man in the team it i i it's
[Ruth:] Have you prizes?
[Kevin:] No.
[Ruth:] Why not?
[Kevin:] What we got, what can we get, what can I get?...
[Ruth:] Well you've really got have something, in case o
[Kevin:] [shouting] What you looking at the questions []!
[Ruth:] I'm no, you know my eyesight, I can't see that.
[Kevin:] [shouting] It's just walk over there and talk to me please.
[Ruth:] Pardon?... You need three prizes, three... in case it's a team of three that win... how about buying three Toblerones?
[Kevin:] Right.
[Ruth:] I'll send Paul to get them... I don't think I've got three of them in the house... Surely you don't have to write them out.
[Kevin:] Well I it's easy isn't it?
[Ruth:] Hope Adrian's in a good mood... You haven't seen what work he's doing at the moment then, how does he know?... Quick look at the tape... ooh what's this?... Bet you couldn't cut all those pictures off.
[Kevin:] Oh yeah.
[Ruth:] That's Michael Caine s oh not it isn't... [LAUGHTER] Pamela Bordes, I thought it was Michael Caine's wife []... Oh there's Michael Caine's wife, oh they do look similar...
[Kevin:] Strewth!... [whispering] []... oh that's too easy isn't it?... Eleven eighty two, eighty... oh
[Ruth:] Why?... What the Christmas card one?
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Ruth:] It was Victorian times wasn't it?... Or make three different dates for it.
[Kevin:] Oh yes.
[Ruth:] Oh I'm not just a pretty face... I don't remember what dates it has, make up... three appropriate dates... So they're both coming at half past twelve, yeah?... Roughly... will they come in three different cars?
[Paul:] Next week's dress rehearsal.
[Ruth:] Alright, we're going next week.
[Paul:] I'm not if I've still got this cold.
[Ruth:] You won't have that cold next week.
[Paul:] It's not worth me going, I'll see how I feel, sit there snivelling always.
[Ruth:] So it might be alright for Mum and Dad?
[Paul:] What? What might be alright?... What might be alright?
[Ruth:] Well if there's no rap, it might be alright for Mum and Dad.
[Paul:] There will be a rap.
[Ruth:] There will be a rap?
[Paul:] Can I have one of these please?... Mum?
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Paul:] [whispering] Thank you [].
[Ruth:] There will be a rap?... Well what are they gonna cancel then?
[Paul:] Nothing... nothing Come and watch.
[Ruth:] So you gotta go next week for a dress rehearsal an... if you want me to.
[Paul:] I don't need them for that.
[Ruth:] Well what costume do you need for your dress rehearsal? And when will they let you know whether it's cancelled or not?
[Paul:] [mouth full of food] er
[Ruth:] What are you eating?
[Paul:] Woh! Woh!... [cough]... ah... [sniff]
[Ruth:] Win a lot of toys?
[Paul:] No.
[Ruth:] So who else is in it, apart from you?
[Paul:] I dunno, don't care, don't want to know!
[Ruth:] Oh... take some Anadin, you'll feel better.
[Paul:] No I won't... I've gotta stay away from them.
[Ruth:] Well we changed your group, by the way.
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] Daddy said, you should be with Nanna and Adrian.
[Paul:] I was with Nanna and Adrian.
[Ruth:] No Daddy said you should be with Michelle and Mutty.
[Paul:] ... Why do I Nan and Adrian?
[Ruth:] Well cos... erm some of the questions are sort of, English questions.
[Paul:] So what?
[Ruth:] Well Michelle's not English.
[Paul:] Well Mutty is.
[Ruth:] Yeah but Mutty's old... won't understand all the rapping.
[Kevin:] Paulie looked at one of the questions!
[Ruth:] He didn't.
[Paul:] ... alright I'll si
[Kevin:] Well you should go in the front room cos I've got the test papers to write.
[Paul:] No I'm here!... Where is my cardy?
[Kevin:] Where's a pen?
[Paul:] It's ridiculous!
[Kevin:] Cos I had a pen here.
[Ruth:] There's one
[Kevin:] Don't look at y, he's looking!
[Ruth:] Oh he isn't!
[Paul:] Dad... I'm not looking.
[Kevin:] Well go, you go over you can eat it over there go on.
[Paul:] [shouting] I wanna sit on the couch [], how can I
[Kevin:] No go on Paulie cos I can't
[Paul:] Why can't you do it in the front room then?
[Kevin:] Eh?
[Paul:] Why do
[Kevin:] Cos there's a table here.
[Paul:] Is that, I will move on a table then!
[Ruth:] Don't turn round... take something for your si cold.
[Paul:] Then I'd have to turn round wouldn't I?
[Kevin:] But keep away from Pucker.
[Paul:] I might as well be like a
[Ruth:] Don't turn round.
[Paul:] Go to bed.
[Ruth:] Goodnight.
[Paul:] Goodnight.
[Ruth:] You'll enjoy it when they get here... it's cold isn't it?
[Kevin:] [whispering] No it's not [].
[Paul:] Why do you pu, Michelle knows loads of things.
[Ruth:] Yeah but she might not know English Christmas traditional questions.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] If I were you I'd much rather be with Michelle and Mutty... Michelle's very clever.
[Paul:] Well exactly, so why does she need me?
[Ruth:] Cos you might win... Ferrero Rocher don't want that one over there. [whispering] Just give me the [].
[Paul:] won't.
[Ruth:] You forgot to put new tapes in the recorder last night.
[Paul:] What new tapes?
[Ruth:] New batteries rather.
[Paul:] Did you put them in?
[Ruth:] Yes... go and see on Teletext see if Gary Lineker's son's died.
[Kevin:] Oh Ruth!
[Paul:] What gonna die?
[Ruth:] Well no I mean I want to know.
[Paul:] Not gonna die that quickly.
[Ruth:] Oh yes he is.
[Paul:] He's only got leukaemia.
[Ruth:] He's only thirty one, Gary Lineker.
[Paul:] That's sick Mum! You can't think like that... Has he died yet, sounds like you're waiting for him to die!
[Ruth:] Paul, that is not what I meant!
[Kevin:] Well it was so said wasn't it.
[Ruth:] See how he is, if you prefer... [reading] Wogan's been axed.
[Kevin:] Oh yeah.
[Ruth:] It lost half its ten million since it started... a speculator for BBC wants to buy This is Your Life and Thames... the seven o'clock with Wogan as host... it's a []
[Kevin:] On This is Your Life?
[Ruth:] a week... That's alright then, that means he alright, good... [reading] The Queen Mother fell over yesterday... got up again [].
[Paul:] What what what what's in the house.
[Kevin:] Say that again.
[Ruth:] Queen Mother fell over
[Paul:] What what what's in the house.
[Ruth:] yesterday, how old is she, ninety... two?
[Kevin:] Might be a bit older than that.
[Ruth:] Ninety three?... Doesn't say... about time she retired... Mm mm ha... In our report, headed the burden slaves, on October the thirteenth we mistakenly a picture of Vidalia Oberia in place of Mrs Filamenia Agassi... typical Daily Mail!
[Paul:] Why did it all go wrong?
[Ruth:] Why did what go wrong? Well
[Paul:] Is it hard to cut?
[Ruth:] And for your next complaint!
[Paul:] Is it hard to cut?
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Paul:] That one looks good... hey ya... pow... hey ya....
[Ruth:] [reading] Junior doctor held his... held his finger on a neck wound [].
[Kevin:] Urgh!
[Paul:] Er what happened?
[Ruth:] Why did he have to keep it there for three hours? Why couldn't they get
[Kevin:] I'm sure someone else could of dealt with it better... as a
[Ruth:] No but I mean why did it take three hours to get him to surgery?... An awful
[Paul:] What happened?
[Ruth:] long time doesn't it, before anybody did anything... [reading] A junior doctor held his finger in a stabbed policeman's... neck wound
[Paul:] God!
[Ruth:] for three hours with a sur... as the surgeon battled to save his life []... well I'd have thought they could have plugged wounds with something other than a finger!
[Paul:] Oh alright don't keep talking about it please.
[Ruth:] Urgh!
[Paul:] Ha... ooh just with... umbrella... stuck his finger right in.
[Ruth:] This three inch wound, look at him, look at his scar!... Ah.
[Paul:] It's a take it away... it's making my eyes water.
[Ruth:] Is the front door shut Paul?
[Paul:] Dunno.
[Ruth:] There's some Vauxhall advert the choice... buy a Nova with a good deal... or very little... doesn't make sense does it?... Kevin?
[Kevin:] Costs
[Paul:] What doesn't make sense?
[Ruth:] Well it's another Vauxhall ad but it doesn't make sense... buy a Nova with a good deal... or very little.
[Paul:] No but do you know what it means?... A pun.
[Ruth:] Well what does it mean?
[Paul:] It's a pun, they always have puns, I don't know what it means... yeah but one of those charts are wonky though... the other one... [sneeze]
[Ruth:] In fact they are on all of them, looks silly doesn't it?... Are you giving me your cold?
[Paul:] Mm, hope so... but at least it won't be me... my selection... [singing] er er er er er errr... gonna let my [] was there any post, Mum?
[Ruth:] Paul this is Sunday, do we have post on a Sunday?
[Paul:] No, no, no.
[Ruth:] Have you done all your homework, you can go and do half an hour's homework quite usefully couldn't you?
[Paul:] Yes.
[Ruth:] Have you done it all?... Oh well done.
[Paul:] Skilful Joe.
[Ruth:] Hardly.
[Paul:] [whispering] Got to have that []... [singing] Dils doo dee doo doo doo [] I'll go and change... [singing] I'm gonna let my hair go down [] am I not wearing a football shirt?
[Ruth:] I hope not.
[Paul:] Can I change into it in the evening?... Oh... yeah... because this looks cool... total... just mod cons Mum... Bang! So what would you rather me wear, this or that white shirt thing?
[Ruth:] That'll do.
[Paul:] What this?
[Ruth:] It's better than the red and blue one... [reading] Half of primary pupils will not work on their own... traditional teaching is best... ten year study shows... modern class, failing children [].
[Paul:] [singing] Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo... La la la la la la... ah doo doo doo doo doo doo doo da... boung boung boung boung
[Kevin:] Suppose su some of these questions you'll remember won't you?
[Paul:] da da da da da now now now now now now
[Ruth:] Well they've all played as well so they might remember.
[Paul:] you gotta love my people... now [].
[Ruth:] [reading] taking English Grammar at best, taught to the whole class []... thank you... I think I'll cut that out and take that in. We need some tonic water Kevin, is that in the garage?
[Kevin:] Mhm.
[Paul:] Could make some out of Soda Stream if you're desperate.
[Ruth:] Oh I think we will make it out of Soda Stream to begin with... do you want to make a bottle Paul?
[Paul:] Sure... [singing] Don't na na na []
[Ruth:] Get the middle size bottle, make a middle size bottle full of
[Paul:] We haven't got a middle size bottle.
[Ruth:] Well look harder.
[Paul:] We haven't.
[Ruth:] Well what's happened to them?
[Paul:] Oh hang on... this will be it.
[Ruth:] Paul try just s middle
[Kevin:] Not eh!
[Paul:] I'm not looking, I'm not looking... oh put it away Dad!
[Ruth:] Oh... knowing your Dad, doing on the last minute!
[Paul:] I know... we should be
[Ruth:] Well where have the middle sized Soda Stream bottle gone?
[Paul:] I'm not allowed to look anyway.
[Ruth:] Well make the little one Paul.
[Paul:] Could at least put something over it!
[Ruth:] Ah here it is... hang on a second while I rinse it out.
[Paul:] You're not telling answer... Got the bottles of Coke out yet?
[Ruth:] Only one bottle.
[Paul:] Only one bottle of Coke out there.
[Ruth:] Yeah. You got any share money hanging over you still or have you paid everything?
[Kevin:] Well it depends if I get these shares I bought yesterday... or not.
[Ruth:] What shares you bought yesterday?
[Kevin:] British Telecom. I told you! [shouting] I did, I did, I've gotta go and get my British Telecom money []!... You said oh yes.
[Ruth:] What you said was... I am going to pay in these various cheques and if there's a big queue... I'll come straight out
[Kevin:] No, no, no
[Ruth:] and I said why should there be a big queue and you said because cos it's a B T share offer.
[Kevin:] Yes... no I said... I'm getting my B T's in... offer in... haven't got them.
[Paul:] off of B T.
[Ruth:] Well when I went past Britannia to see if you were there, there was nobody in it.
[Kevin:] Yeah
[Paul:] Not got Coke.
[Kevin:] Halifax was out the window, yes
[Ruth:] Mm... there was nobody in there
[Kevin:] there was about
[Ruth:] So if I meet a big queue
[Kevin:] I dunno it was about to shut wasn't it at the same time and it... it was like... well it's worth gonna get them.
[Ruth:] I must have missed you, cos if I went... past Britannia, and I thought ooh they'll probably still be in there
[Kevin:] Technically I suppose if you get inside the shop before the time closes they they're on a bet
[Ruth:] They all stand by the door don't they?
[Kevin:] Just but, once you as you long as you got in before twelve o'clock
[Ruth:] Yeah you'd be alright... I think it might be twelve thirty round about twelve fifteen, Britannia isn't it?
[Kevin:] Anyway it's
[Paul:] Twelve o'clock, Britannia.
[Kevin:] But he looked across to us and saw us and then he really cheesed off with me we he di he virtually sat
[Ruth:] Well that's why you went to Britannia's innit, isn't it?... Okay?
[Paul:] We had to put our three hundred and twenty pounds.
[Ruth:] We haven't got three hundred and twenty pounds. I hope you'll save that two hundred for your Mum's golden wedding
[Kevin:] Ah.
[Ruth:] booze... I am cold.
[Paul:] Mum?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Is it the one of the right or the left or one that's got his finger in.
[Ruth:] Paul, the one on the left is Kenneth Baker... the one on the right is a policeman... neither of those is a junior doctor.
[Paul:] Sorry.
[Ruth:] Not worthy of a photograph I shouldn't think... There's the Queen Mother again, doesn't say how old she is... There is the picture of the doctor, mind you he doesn't look like a junior doctor, he's Pakistani... and he looks about fifty!... Mr Ujam
[Paul:] Ooh Ujam, Ujam, Ujam... look at this Mum.
[Ruth:] What's this?... The florists were alright.
[Paul:] Look at these three.
[Ruth:] Nice flowers.
[Paul:] A
[Ruth:] So it is.
[Paul:] He's seen the light.
[Ruth:] Sheila's buying an Amiga.
[Paul:] Sheila who?
[Ruth:] How many Sheilas do you know?
[Kevin:] What this Christmas?
[Paul:] Sheila... Sheila
[Ruth:] Sheila.
[Kevin:] When?
[Paul:] Oh no!... This is ridiculous!... Great, no way... unbelievable!... I'm not swapping anything with her... [shouting] they ended up bringing back my games []!... We get one, oh I must get one as well.
[Kevin:] When they getting them?
[Ruth:] She pro they buying it as a joint family present this year.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Ruth:] Then each child's only allowed ten pounds worth of presents apart from that... you look dreadful!... Why don't you go and lie down for half an hour?
[Paul:] Don't believe this!
[Ruth:] Take some Anadin.
[Paul:] [shouting] Why them []!... They got
[Ruth:] Paul there's probably a million Amigas in the country.
[Paul:] Is that why you... erm that's quite... only not.
[Ruth:] about that, I think you've got a totally illiterate person, no doubt Actually she said... nine tenths certain going to get an Amiga but they might get an Atari.
[Kevin:] Well Atari's no good... they're games
[Paul:] It's not a computer.
[Kevin:] They only want it for games do they?
[Ruth:] No... well there's all different Ataris aren't there?
[Kevin:] Oh yeah, is that right Paulie?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] These are supposed on the side don't you?
[Paul:] No... three hundred.
[Ruth:] Well that's cheaper.
[Paul:] Oh, is it?
[Ruth:] What
[Kevin:] Pauly showed me this this thing, the game thing for Atari where you li disk pack... what's it called Paulie?
[Paul:] What?
[Kevin:] Ray's getting.
[Paul:] Oh that's not Atari, that's Sega.
[Kevin:] Sega.
[Paul:] Sega Megadrive.
[Kevin:] Megadrive.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] It's got a
[Paul:] They have to... the Atari, right... you load this in a word processing... in a path... games are... venture and the sound is much better than Amiga... on the Amiga... er the graphics are better on the Amiga... and but... the Atari ST is slightly easier to program.
[Ruth:] What is the point of mouse?
[Paul:] Makes it... pretty it... improves it's just a mou, you know mouse mat you got them at school.
[Ruth:] Yeah but what is the point of it?... How do you know I've got mouse mays at school?
[Paul:] Yes you have, you know what you run your mouses along!
[Ruth:] I haven't got one.
[Paul:] You haven't got one... y know, quite cheap just mats that they... they... ah I've got forgotten what the word is for it... they make the mouse... improves the performance of the mouse... see
[Ruth:] Do
[Paul:] the ball at the bottom, the rolly ball as it picks it up easier... stops them, you don't scratch the bottom of it.
[Ruth:] Ah.
[Paul:] How do we know which is for tea and which isn't?
[Ruth:] You can eat anything there for lunch and I'm going to put sandwiches and cake out for tea.
[Paul:] Where you doing, where are the sandwiches?
[Ruth:] I haven't made them yet, I'll be making them this afternoon, yet more work to do... I can't really make them now.
[Paul:] Why not?
[Ruth:] Oh!... [reading] With twenty five we're likely to die falling off a ladder than you are to die from AIDS [].
[Kevin:] Having been up a ladder, only I could see how easy it is, you could fall off a ladder as simply as anything.
[Ruth:] Yep.
[Kevin:] Excuse me.
[Ruth:] What.
[Paul:] I hope the tape picked that up Dad.
[Ruth:] Yes I'm sure it probably did... I just thought Paul, go to the corner of the front room Paul... and take something for that.
[Paul:] I'll take another sausage... wow!
[Ruth:] Don't take one with bacon round it.
[Paul:] It's much more warmer in there.
[Ruth:] That lounge.
[Paul:] [whistling]... Did you make this?
[Ruth:] No.
[Paul:] Oh.
[Ruth:] Why do I only I allowed to have your cold?... Erm, you'd better keep away from Papa.
[Paul:] Can't keep away from everybody.
[Ruth:] Don't breathe over them and don't make it so obvious.
[Paul:] What else am I supposed to do?
[Ruth:] Right, let's try the crossword, [reading] fish of carp family, [] don't know, [reading] middle in a cracker, []
[Paul:] [yawn]
[Ruth:] [yawning+reading] Portuguese enclave in China [], Daddy will know that.
[Kevin:] Pardon?
[Ruth:] [reading] Portuguese enclave in China, begins with M []
[Kevin:] Er... oh yes Macau.
[Paul:] How many letters has that carp one got?
[Ruth:] Five... Ancient models
[Paul:] plaice
[Ruth:] [reading] of a Spanish Peninsula []... the young eel is an alba... plaice, Paul has not got five letters.
[Paul:] Yes it has, no it hasn't.
[Ruth:] Begins with T, I expect it's... tench
[Paul:] trout... trout.
[Ruth:] well I think tench and carp are the same family... kind of orange... [reading] navel... naval, navel... navel King Tyle who assisted Solomon in the building of the temple [] King Tyle
[Paul:] Doubt it.
[Ruth:] Religion revealed through Mohammed.
[Paul:] Er Islam.
[Ruth:] Oh thank you Paul. That's not.. I think it's hair... what's the ancient name for the Spanish Peninsula
[Paul:] The border.
[Kevin:] Any letters?
[Ruth:] yeah it ends in I A, and it might begin with O... it begins with a vowel... kind a it's a lu...... the Russian walk out... it's got a Z in it.
[Kevin:] Oh that's Agaza Agat
[Ruth:] No something U something Z something something
[Kevin:] Something U... mm
[Ruth:] Not bolshoi is it, how do you spell Macau?
[Kevin:] M A C A U.
[Ruth:] O?... I thought it was M A C A U, Macau.
[Paul:] I thought it M A C A W.
[Kevin:] Oh no.
[Ruth:] You would [LAUGHTER].
[Kevin:] Yes it might... I've seen it... spelt both ways.
[Ruth:] Well maybe no it cos it'd be
[Kevin:] Nothing
[Ruth:] bolshoi if it was O.
[Paul:] It's W
[Kevin:] Yeah bolshoi's right... so which one is it then?
[Ruth:] O.
[Kevin:] Mm... I've seen it a... U as well I must admit.
[Paul:] I thought it was
[Kevin:] Right
[Ruth:] holiday
[Kevin:] you done it.
[Ruth:] the something something... [reading] meetings of spiritualistic phenomena []... seance.
[Kevin:] Yo
[Paul:] Ooh Dad give us a bit.
[Kevin:] Exam papers... turn over your papers now... do not look... can't start yet.
[Paul:] Read them out Mum... I can't get them easily.
[Ruth:] [reading] Bird, female of the ruff... style of architecture prominent during the reign of Louis the f... fifteenth [].
[Paul:] How, what word has it got?
[Ruth:] Nothing... [reading] words of songs [], lyrics?... [reading] Birthplace of Saint Theresa. []
[Paul:] Rome
[Ruth:] [reading] County in Eire [].
[Paul:] Cork.
[Ruth:] Cle something.
[Paul:] Cle r
[Ruth:] [reading] Scrooge's late partner [], Marley
[Paul:] I'll go and play that.
[Ruth:] [reading] one of the gospels [], Mark?... [reading] Bird, female of the ruff [], I think it's a grouse... [reading] nest of a bird of prey []
[Paul:] Hawk, falcon
[Ruth:] no, nest, [reading] one who manages another's business [] agent
[Kevin:] Oh I know that er... a ki kirey isn't it... e earring
[Ruth:] so it's not a rouse... what is a bird, female, oh it's a reath... [reading] the American buffalo []
[Paul:] Bison... bison.
[Kevin:] Very good
[Ruth:] What a county in Eire beginning with C L... cl
[Kevin:] Clare
[Ruth:] Clare, County Clare.
[Paul:] Look it up.
[Ruth:] [reading] style of [] architecture
[Kevin:] Done it.
[Ruth:] [reading] with Cocoa []... I've done it.
[Kevin:] What that say again?
[Ruth:] Style of architecture with cocoa.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Paul:] What is name of it?
[Ruth:] [reading] of the largest of the continent []... must be Africa but it doesn't fit.
[Kevin:] Asia.
[Ruth:] Oh Asia the largest continent... [reading] birthplace of Saint Theresa []
[Paul:] Erm
[Ruth:] India
[Paul:] Syria.
[Ruth:] doesn't fit... where's Mother There Saint Theresa born?
[Kevin:] Not Mo
[Paul:] Syria.
[Kevin:] not Mother Theresa.
[Ruth:] No, Saint Theresa.
[Kevin:] It is India innit?
[Ruth:] Don't fit... gotta be something I something A
[Kevin:] Something I something A
[Paul:] Something something I something A
[Ruth:] [reading] Shakespeare comedy [], the... mister of something
[Kevin:] Temptress.
[Ruth:] Is it?... Vinchenti Blasgo something writer of the four... [reading] Sailor, not an officer [].
[Paul:] [reading] Tree with shrub with white or yellow flowers []... Daffodil
[Ruth:] No... right I've done all I can, you can finish it off. I'm still cold!
[Paul:] Okay...
[Ruth:] Well you can do it. We'll get hot.
[Paul:] Vincent Blasgo what Dad?
[Kevin:] Vi Vincent Vasco de Gama
[Ruth:] No!
[Paul:] Blasgo!... He wrote the Four
[Ruth:] He wrote the Four Gentlemen and a...
[Paul:] [reading] something B something N something []
[Ruth:] Ah these are disgusting!
[Paul:] I'm hungry.
[Ruth:] those
[Kevin:] Take them ou out of circulation then if they're disgusting.
[Ruth:] What?... Ah people might like them.
[Kevin:] Get away!... Urgh they're the ones that smell like... bad fish!... You've had it before.
[Ruth:] You're not wrong... no I've done some before, urgh!
[Kevin:] Pu clean them away, people won't like them!
[Ruth:] Yeah a lot of people will... your Mum might... Nigel Kennedy, look at the Aston Villa club shots.
[Kevin:] Oh yeah.
[Ruth:] Football is the unifying part of my life, it is of equal importance to the music [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] He'll grow out of that one day.
[Ruth:] [reading] I love anything, claret and bu... blue []... he's a Senior Vice President of the club... and he's got Aston Villa boxer shorts and Aston Villa pyjamas... on one visit [reading] to the shop he spent four hundred pounds. []
[Kevin:] What?
[Ruth:] [reading] Nigel Kennedy's been known to spend more than an hour in the shop after a game, on one visit he spent four hundred pounds. The shop sold Aston Villa t-shirts, sweatshirts and slippers to bikes, Nigel has examples of most. It's got a bit serious he admits, I've got the logo on my [reading+laughing] [reading]. My girlfriend's a Villa fan but isn't always happy about it especially when I suggested painting the bedroom [reading+laughing] claret and blue [reading]. His violin case which houses the seventeen thirty f []
[Kevin:] You're really clo clobbered with that though, it really smells like bad feet... you smell like you haven't washed your feet... I think you better clean your teeth... where are those crisps... take them away.
[Ruth:] They're disgusting!
[Paul:] No Dad.
[Kevin:] That's two you've eaten now
[Ruth:] They're
[Kevin:] that's the first thing someone's gonna think... is that her feet smell! They won't think that
[Ruth:] Kevin
[Kevin:] you've eaten some cheese crisps.
[Ruth:] there's two of those, so throw them both away... there's two of them.
[Kevin:] It really smells like I haven't been near a bath for a month.
[Paul:] What's so bad?
[Ruth:] Wooh!
[Kevin:] They must be the ones that Mum had been eating when you... I came in.
[Paul:] Can I just have a smell?
[Ruth:] You I haven't, I just opened them.
[Paul:] I can't smell anything
[Kevin:] Right when you eat them?... When you bite them... it smells like
[Ruth:] Put bigger ones in there.
[Paul:] Parmesan cheese.
[Kevin:] Well that's alright... there they are.
[Paul:] They don't they don't smell so bad... compared with the other ones... do you want one Dad?
[Kevin:] Nope... oh they're delicious! No break them... Right you want me to go and get the other drink in now, you say?
[Ruth:] Yep.
[Kevin:] Where's Paulie's big blow up straw, the copying... was it, was it over here?
[Ruth:] Behind the chair.
[Kevin:] Which chair?... That one?
[Ruth:] Ooh!
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] [singing] Oh wah... yo do do do do do do [].
[Ruth:] I'm so cold.
[Paul:] Bye Dad, gotta go, see you later.
[Ruth:] These Paul I'm supposed to be writing all.
[Paul:] That was... these Twiglets are stale as old Harry.
[Ruth:] Twiglets?
[Paul:] Mm.
[Ruth:] Take some Anadin Paul... here's a couple of Anadin... feel better, honest... Paul.
[Paul:] Alright... no not Anadin.
[Ruth:] Why?
[Paul:] They make me sick.
[Ruth:] Oh what?
[Paul:] Oh well, what else you got?
[Ruth:] Paracetamol.
[Paul:] Let's have a look... not solubles...... you've got some... [door bell] [shouting] Hang on []... just gonna... there's one.
[Ruth:] It's all football... where's that one then?... That's all I got.
[Kevin:] Hello
[speaker004:] Hello
[Paul:] all you got
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Paul:] That's good.
[Ruth:] Ordinary Anadin won't make you sick.
[Paul:] Tip it in whole... [singing] Only one []
[Kevin:] They're gonna be late now because we insisted on them all coming.
[Paul:] Like that.
[Kevin:] Say half twelve bomb or something. So when's this Wogan thing packing up then, do you know?
[Ruth:] Does say, doesn't it... forgotten where the was.
[Paul:] [singing] []... somebody snow, I'd really like it.
[Ruth:] Boursin.
[Kevin:] I can't see them letting Wogan
[Paul:] Boursin
[Kevin:] go though can you?... They'll do
[Ruth:] It can last for so long people
[Kevin:] do something else.
[Ruth:] the mind boggles.
[Paul:] What do you want me to do with this?
[Ruth:] Put it on the hall stand please.
[Paul:] Oh is it, is it one of
[Ruth:] [cough]
[Paul:] after two... at tea time.
[Kevin:] Put that heater on then would you... that one on for a while just before they come.
[Ruth:] besides the fact that I've got a headache.
[Paul:] So will our quiz done... have you a got a pad or something?
[Ruth:] Yes your father's got a plan.
[Paul:] Dad put me with
[Kevin:] After lunch.
[Ruth:] We'll eat
[Paul:] After
[Ruth:] fairly soon
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Paul:] We'll eat stra virtually fairly soon... and then let them have a look at them.
[Kevin:] After everybody drinks when they first come in... yeah?
[Ruth:] Mhm.
[Paul:] No le let them have sort of like a half an hour talk before you announce the quiz straight after that... let all their stomachs go down and then sort of get
[Kevin:] [cough]
[Ruth:] If we let we can
[Paul:] No
[Ruth:] judge that Paul.
[Paul:] wait forty five minutes cos then you wanna catch all their er... speaking don't you on a tape?
[Ruth:] Well we'll see.
[Paul:] So... what these these are new aren't they?
[Ruth:] Mm... I don't use them every day because they began to fray.
[Paul:] Well where are they?
[Ruth:] Don't
[Kevin:] Yeah that guy's chest looks... what he's been through.
[Ruth:] Oh what yeah, horrid innit?
[Kevin:] Like a rag doll.
[Ruth:] If you think another person did that to him.
[Paul:] No... you don't do on purposely do those beautiful cuts like that across there... they did that
[Ruth:] What?
[Paul:] The doctors did all that... all he had was in the leg.
[Ruth:] No but someone had a crack at him.
[Paul:] The doctor, yeah... yeah. Don't get people thrashing people......
[Kevin:] Isn't that awful about Stoke on Trent's garden thing?
[Paul:] What?
[Kevin:] That... that was before and look at it now.
[Paul:] What happened to it?
[Kevin:] Been allowed to
[Paul:] don't look very good... before now.
[Kevin:] [whistling]
[Paul:] Where were those taken?
[Ruth:] There.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Shall I move these spirits and video star out the way then?
[Ruth:] Yep... put it them by the videos... on one of the shelves.
[Paul:] What's this video doing here?
[Ruth:] I dunno... probably my husband.
[Paul:] Are you gonna want to record anything tonight?
[Ruth:] Erm... dunno... go and look and see what's on telly tonight.
[Kevin:] [whistling]
[Paul:] Did you bring your tape in Dad?
[Kevin:] Don't record on that... car rally one, that's Trevor's.
[Ruth:] Hasn't he taken?
[Kevin:] No.
[Paul:] What is it here for?... Dad?
[Ruth:] Daddy's going to watch it.
[Paul:] You put Lombar Lombard R A C rally... on...
[Ruth:] Rubbishy magazine. That's a pretzel glass isn't it?
[Karen:] Mr Pickford
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER] That's what well Kevin gave me that slip [].
[Ruth:] Kevin why did you give Michelle that glass cos I didn't wash those glasses, I didn't wash those glasses.
[Michelle:] Oh dear ah ah ah ah
[Kevin:] was such a
[Michelle:] ah ah ah ah and there was a piece of [LAUGHTER] metal in it []!
[Ruth:] Piece of metal in it.
[Kevin:] Oh that's the one where you put the when it was being done.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] checking that []!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Oh yeah
[Michelle:] That's on my feet.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] How did you take the?
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER] Well he gave me the []!
[Eric:] [LAUGHTER] Oh dear []!
[Adrian:] What made you think that?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michelle:] Oh maybe he liked the so much [LAUGHTER] [].
[Kevin:] Do you want some more of this,?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] No
[Ruth:] No.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] thanks.
[Michelle:] So you thought yo you ate frogs legs?
[Eric:] Have you tried the
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] Did you Kev []?
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] seafood one?
[Adrian:] Lovely shrimps in it.
[Ruth:] I thought we were leaving Bill at home.
[Michelle:] Did you he did you see that
[Kevin:] Does anybody want a drink top up?
[Michelle:] programme last night about
[Ruth:] Yes please, yeah
[Michelle:] this er
[Karen:] French firm?
[Ruth:] Vodka
[Michelle:] about the French... what did they do with the other half [LAUGHTER] of the story []!
[Kevin:] Want a drink?
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Michael [imitates french accent]
[Michael:] Can I have a Coke please?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] I might have
[Kevin:] Yep
[Babs (aka Mutty):] the fish, I think, do you think?
[Kevin:] Yep in a minute
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Kevin:] You okay there?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Are you gonna have some?
[Joy:] Yes alright, I'll have some.
[Andrew:] Pet don't look so serious.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] Sorry?
[Eric:] That would of made a good conversation, why did you give Michelle the glass?
[Ruth:] You're standing on my chair.
[Michelle:] I think it's very rude of her
[Ruth:] [whistling] Move!
[Michelle:] given me a dirty glass.
[Paul:] Sorry am I a
[Lisa:] Oh sorry... oh don't sit on it!
[Adrian:] Like the shoes Paul.
[Ruth:] [whispering] I think you've caught him out [].
[Paul:] Oh yes.
[speaker004:] I think that taking the mickey out of them.
[Michelle:] Will it come out [LAUGHTER] [].
[Ruth:] No sometimes it sticks to you.
[Michelle:] Go round the sitting room with it on your feet!
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michelle:] You know that list of flowers
[Ruth:] Accurate
[speaker004:] Has it
[Ruth:] yes.
[speaker004:] I've never seen it flower
[Michelle:] If it
[Ruth:] I'm not very good at them... Mum gave me that one it's been in quite good condition but
[Michelle:] It has to be watered, water all the time.
[Ruth:] I mean look I've killed it
[Eric:] Where did you get your Christmas cactus?
[Ruth:] Mm... from Croydon
[Michelle:] Had a
[Eric:] Nice one.
[Michelle:] a knot she had a... she had one... is it Papyras you call it don't you.
[Ruth:] Umbrella plant we call them.
[Michelle:] Oh Pap Papyras
[Ruth:] Why?
[Michelle:] That's the word.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michelle:] I think the Egyptian used to use that to write tha to write on.
[Ruth:] Oh.
[Eric:] Mum's just telling me about her erm
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Like a quill
[Ruth:] Well I erm
[Babs (aka Mutty):] thing?
[Eric:] this
[Kevin:] Michelle have you got another dirty glass you want to replace
[Ruth:] from Beatons, Safeways, no thanks.
[Michelle:] Yes [LAUGHTER] I would no, I'd like another dirty drink
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Adrian:] [LAUGHTER] Enjoyed that one so much []!
[Michael:] Dad, Dad I'll put all after I've done one side of this we'll do the quiz then.
[Ruth:] Sad about er Gary Lineker's baby.
[Adrian:] Alright yeah.
[Michelle:] Yes
[Andrew:] Cheers.
[Adrian:] Fine
[Ruth:] It did work.
[Kevin:] Same drink Michelle?
[speaker004:] Only little children
[Kevin:] Then what? [LAUGHTER] Yes [].
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Get them in.
[speaker004:] That's what I wanted to take the little
[Karen:] Strange thing is this is why he's never because that home environment
[speaker004:] It's very nice.
[Ruth:] Do you know what my
[Karen:] er
[Ruth:] mother does she was gonna let her
[Karen:] he regrets
[Ruth:] know her net curtains are all along her window, he had them in the front of the house and oh
[speaker004:] because he down their very advanced
[Lisa:] Paul!
[Eric:] One of these ones?
[speaker004:] Really huge I'm I'm silver, I'm not very good
[Michelle:] Thank you
[speaker004:] at drawing.
[Ruth:] Isn't it a shame Mum about Gary Lineker's baby.
[Joy:] Oh yes.
[speaker004:] Yeah very sad.
[Ruth:] But if I was you know you're not
[Adrian:] No you can't
[speaker015:] Let me out!
[Ruth:] cos he's friendly with Jose Carreras, the Barcelonian
[Joy:] And and also with Botham, cos Botham does that with do that walk for the er
[Ruth:] Mm th that w one wonders, you see, because he... he had a lot to do with Jose Carreras when he was ill and you wo
[Lisa:] Mum,
[Ruth:] cos there is a school of thought that they can be a virus that starts it
[Joy:] Mm.
[Eric:] He's going to do another run, Ian Botham for leukaemia
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Eric:] research.
[speaker004:] Must have been dreadful that though
[Ruth:] But it only strikes on two babies a year, two babies in England
[Eric:] He does you know
[speaker004:] Couldn't it be helped?
[Ruth:] Mm.
[speaker004:] So sad.
[Eric:] But they say e even if he came out very
[Ruth:] prognosis though
[Eric:] su successfully it'd be five years
[Ruth:] I would of thought so, hope so.
[Eric:] he's clear.
[Ruth:] Yes but the prognosis of a baby at that age isn't good.
[Eric:] They don't?
[Ruth:] No.
[Joy:] Look at the Mountbatten's little girl.
[Ruth:] Yes but she didn't have leukaemia so quickly.
[Michelle:] Oh did she?
[Ruth:] Oh I thought
[Andrew:] Excuse me... just because the tape's on there's no need for you to use big words like prognosis.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Joy:] Is it on, this?
[Michael:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] How do you know it isn't on?
[Michael:] No it's not on at the moment, cos Paul
[speaker004:] No.
[Michael:] turned it off.
[Paul:] I didn't.
[Kevin:] Have you turned it on?
[Eric:] Now it's made it all go quiet hasn't it
[Michelle:] Yeah.
[Eric:] eh?... [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] I ain't gone quiet
[Ruth:] Oh I
[Kevin:] Let me take those
[Ruth:] washing up this morning washing up
[Eric:] Are you sure you're alright, he said I just said oh.
[Ruth:] er oh just a little bit.
[Paul:] No I am
[Eric:] Just talking about the tea room.
[speaker004:] Yeah... actually he was supposed to say to Jeff
[Eric:] Say about that
[speaker004:] there was this... job.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] You won't now because they got the hospital to build on.
[Eric:] Doesn't really take
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] Wednesday nights.
[speaker004:] They're I've never seen anything in that bowl.
[Kevin:] Do you want another honey?
[Ruth:] That's Appletise
[speaker004:] Oh er anything what this one here?
[Ruth:] Yeah but wasn't it
[Michelle:] We've got... their Mum gave us a French dictionary, but my is the in French [LAUGHTER] now they can't get... []... The number of English words there are in there it's
[Adrian:] So... get learning
[Michelle:] amazing
[Paul:] yeah but
[Michelle:] the thing is actually giving up
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] [singing] Happy []
[Ruth:] They are really English words... they erm... I can't think of something now but I mean
[Paul:] I bet I could
[Joy:] The only one I can think of is
[Ruth:] Oh yes, did that at the beginning... for for a long time.
[Karen:] For a fortnight. You don't have to play for a fortnight, do you?
[Michelle:] Mm I think cousin I do... I will say cousin actually, it's all same.
[Joy:] We'll... two.
[Paul:] There are quite a few cos I did that in my Norman project.
[Ruth:] Did you hear about... say
[speaker004:] The English is the same isn't it?
[Ruth:] ne next week... on Sunday, the Danish Embassy
[Michelle:] Oh?
[Ruth:] Pu our own... Putney has been awarded the medal of honour, sixth highest medal of honour... for erm... services to the Danish industry and he's coming over and they're having a... a caviar and champagne reception at the Danish Embassy and now the Queen of Denmark... Queen Margarite is coming over.
[Joy:] Ooh
[speaker004:] I don't read Turkish.
[Joy:] Ooh I say yeah.
[speaker004:] They are all invited.
[Ruth:] They were going out for a west end... meal in the evening.
[Karen:] That'd be nice... oh lovely.
[Joy:] But Karen thinks
[Karen:] when was that?
[Ruth:] Next, not this Monday, next Monday.
[Joy:] Karen thinks we'll all be three black crows we've all got black.
[Karen:] Yeah we're all wearing black!
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] very funny []!
[Joy:] If in doubt, wear black.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Well Cynthia went somewhere the other day and there were so many pe people in black it was like a doomsday
[Ruth:] It's come back again, hasn't it?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Yes.
[Eric:] Why is that then?... Why?
[Karen:] You've got black on, but this time you wear it I mean it's
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Purple took over for a while, ha.
[Karen:] Mm.
[Ruth:] My, it's so weird now, I'm borrowing erm... she's got a a... a blue, no it's not... a blue plaid... it's not really a scarf, it's bigger than that
[Karen:] Throw over.
[Ruth:] yeah,
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Like a wrap thing.
[Ruth:] which she got from Ireland
[Lisa:] Don't know about this.
[Ruth:] her Mum bought it for her... er pure wool
[Lisa:] over there
[Ruth:] it's electric blue, so I've got to wear the with.
[Karen:] Oh I say Oh and that's gonna be
[Ruth:] But when I take, I can't wear that in the embassy because it will be too hot.
[Eric:] Oh yes I know Mark.
[Michelle:] yesterday, cos it laid on its fluff on you.
[Eric:] See
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] it's not smooth, it's not that... I don't think it does.
[Karen:] The car's ours.
[Ruth:] I mean it's
[Kevin:] Does Mum
[Michelle:] I quite like actually it does
[Karen:] it's really funny I just when I wanna be simple... it's just like I'm gonna break down in front of a man... yeah... and they just got, cos they're mean
[Ruth:] Her mother gave it to her when she went over there
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Yes.
[Ruth:] a bright blue and er... I bought that
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Really.
[Karen:] on the M forty five.
[Michelle:] Mm.
[Ruth:] And Adrian bought me for my birthday erm... earrings the... so I'm going to wear a pearl necklace and pearl earrings on
[Karen:] We caught all different perch out there... didn't we?
[Ruth:] But when you get... er to a certain I think you do tend to find a lot of the dressier clothes are in black.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Mm.
[Michelle:] Yeah but you're not at that certain age?
[speaker004:] Yes [LAUGHTER] I agree []
[Eric:] No.
[Ruth:] No matter, what I mean why we all seem to wearing black, because they're
[Lisa:] at school
[Michelle:] But only when you go in the shop, I find the colours this year are rubbish
[Adrian:] empty!
[Michelle:] and they they couldn't really... have something
[speaker004:] Brown ale or
[Ruth:] I'll finally accept it,i the thing she is she got a green velvet suit from Ron... and the lady said to her... she said well will you be in Hello,i she said I thought we'll be in Packaging News!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] A hundred and fifty people have been invited, but I don't know if all will be coming.
[Joy:] I've just realised that the be... every time I have an occasion
[Kevin:] Yeah
[Joy:] I go green don't I?... And if it's green
[Ruth:] One bottle over.
[Michelle:] It's the colour of hope. [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] Is it?
[Ruth:] It's warm.
[Michael:] Yeah it's the colour of love.
[Ruth:] Well my... green oh and in French it's the colour of hope, promise?
[Michelle:] My [LAUGHTER]
[Michael:] Exactly.
[Karen:] Our bridesmaids
[speaker004:] And you.
[Karen:] wore green velvet didn't they Mum?
[Joy:] Pardon?
[Karen:] Adrian and I had... bridesmaids in green velvet
[Adrian:] green velvet
[Karen:] do you remember you said how unlucky it was?
[Joy:] Mm.
[Ruth:] In England green is supposed to be an unlucky colour.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Really?
[speaker004:] Oh.
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Joy:] Oh dear
[Karen:] And then
[speaker004:] everything [LAUGHTER] already []
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Karen:] and then, also we got married in May, and they say marry in May, rue the day, so
[Michelle:] Mm, or going to Paris on the honeymoon!
[speaker004:] yes.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] That's the time I was married in May, too.
[Ruth:] Paul.
[Karen:] There we are Mum.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Joy:] Mm, thank you.
[Ruth:] Could I have
[Michael:] Mum you can't get that round here.
[Karen:] I will, I'm just looking for the
[Paul:] What do you want?
[Karen:] earrings.
[Paul:] Yes I will.
[Joy:] These are so delicious
[speaker004:] [cough]
[Joy:] aren't they?
[Michael:] Oh to go with your dress
[Karen:] dress yes.
[Joy:] Mm... mm... very nice
[speaker004:] [cough]
[Michelle:] sit there?
[speaker004:] people sit there gambling
[Karen:] No
[speaker004:] No.
[Karen:] I'm not. How they put the big plastic things
[Joy:] Mm
[Karen:] that hold them. But I don't know if they will be too heavy for your ear lobes.
[Joy:] I'll have a go anyway see
[Michelle:] The everlasting twenty pound note. [LAUGHTER]
[Karen:] Shame got it fixed!
[Joy:] You know complete small ear lobe.
[Karen:] No here, do it... these are worth letting go
[Joy:] and erm... I paid for them dearly... for piercing for me and er I think he was frightened of a little bit too far on the edge I think.
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Michelle:] Choose another one
[Joy:] No I can't do that
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] now so I can't certainly
[speaker004:] Mm.
[Karen:] Cos that's one lower still
[Ruth:] Well no
[Joy:] Well they
[Ruth:] they might sometimes... I had mine done to me
[Joy:] Definitely... close it right up.
[Ruth:] when he
[speaker004:] Oh.
[Eric:] They couldn't
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Nancy was telling me that he had... loads of
[speaker004:] Mine
[Babs (aka Mutty):] complaints
[speaker004:] I was playing with the dog a
[Joy:] Well I didn't have any
[Babs (aka Mutty):] No
[Joy:] just periodically
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] I
[Ruth:] So we take her onto the
[speaker004:] We had to pay for the doctor.
[Karen:] It didn't hurt, but then they don't they?... Don't know how he does
[speaker004:] Yep
[Karen:] them.
[Adrian:] By the time you get an you know, Michael will be allowed to have his
[Karen:] Plenty of room, it is a big room
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Michael:] I'm clo that's closing up... it's closed up that one... you know, where we got it.
[Joy:] You know what it is, we disguise all our don't we?
[speaker004:] Mm.
[Joy:] ...
[Karen:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michelle:] Have you just heard?
[speaker004:] No
[Ruth:] Right.
[speaker004:] Go and sit over there.
[Ruth:] [shouting] You're all in then [] Dad!
[Joy:] stay there love.
[Ruth:] Oh.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Karen:] Is he in middle again
[Ruth:] What does that family look like? Have a bit of the dirge.
[Paul:] [singing] Doo do do do [].
[Michael:] Mum is that alright
[speaker004:] [cough]
[Karen:] Mm... Is that because the hose
[Paul:] Then he'll be walking in with this quiz an
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] Yes.
[Joy:] What is this quiz we're gonna have then?
[Kevin:] Ooh it's a big quiz, one of...
[Eric:] I'll
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Following in my Dad's footsteps.
[Paul:] Daddy spent all day and scribbling.
[Kevin:] Yeah everyone's gotta play
[Eric:] They're getting very popular those square bags aren't they Joy?
[Paul:] any paper.
[Karen:] It's funny you should say
[Eric:] Very popular they get
[Karen:] we both had the same
[Paul:] Mum!
[Karen:] about it... and you know how we weren't very, cos everybody said oh we'd like one of those, cos they're so easy.
[Eric:] Mm yeah.
[Karen:] And now poor Michael couldn't find [LAUGHTER] one []!... Yeah.
[Eric:] Rat fink!
[Karen:] and imagine we were
[Joy:] Somebody told us in the market, but we never get to the market, do we?
[Michael:] I don't care
[Eric:] No.
[Michelle:] Yeah in the market, but er... in Red Parks they're in front of the... exit
[speaker004:] like that, I mean they were so easy. aren't they? Oh!
[Michelle:] Well can you imagine any more than English ones.
[speaker004:] What was the little dog you had?
[Michelle:] He's not any work.
[Joy:] Yes.
[Kevin:] I always remember
[Michelle:] After my old one.
[Kevin:] we all had the naughties, used to say.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] and now when you got this
[Kevin:] Once you get out of car and I thought it was a dog that she had,bu didn't have, she didn't have a dachshund he had a little
[Ruth:] No... she had, she had corgis.
[Michael:] Woof, woof, woof, woof.
[speaker004:] Michael,
[Kevin:] No I'll get it.
[Andrew:] Whose is that one?
[Karen:] Andrew's possible but that won't
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Ah... right
[Karen:] I don't want him to stop until his party.
[Ruth:] You've got your new shoes on Mum, or those
[Joy:] Yeah
[Eric:] Yep.
[Paul:] They're nice.
[speaker004:] ... Ha ha ha.
[Paul:] Mm.
[Adrian:] Good innit... that's outrageous, that is!
[Paul:] There
[Adrian:] Is it slanderous or libel
[Ruth:] Read it outside, the inside first, I think... read
[Adrian:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] the outside first.
[Adrian:] has written a slanderous poem
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER] [].
[Joy:] I have to be very careful though, seeing that his birthday's the same day
[speaker004:] Yeah, yeah
[Adrian:] Karen why aren't you opening yours?
[Karen:] I've opened mine.
[Adrian:] Oh you've opened them all
[Eric:] You didn't tell me what you got.
[Karen:] Shall I
[Adrian:] She didn't show me what you got, why should show you!
[Eric:] Oh.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] But she had money from and I gave her some money
[Adrian:] Oh I see
[Joy:] and a for you
[Adrian:] Aha.
[Joy:] too.
[Adrian:] Thank you.
[Joy:] Don't you worry about that, Ruthie's the hostess.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] Oh yeah
[speaker004:] Ooh!
[Paul:] I think I'll be coming
[Kevin:] Right
[Paul:] from over here.
[Kevin:] Let's see that one.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER] [].
[Adrian:] Michelle... really!... Ooh dear
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Adrian:] Right we can all throw that in bin. Blue what?... Course you can't go round, you gotta do double with my [LAUGHTER] [].
[Kevin:] I can't guarantee it works like clockwork.
[Adrian:] Ha ha ha
[Kevin:] Hopes he finds
[Adrian:] Ruth and I are trying to get these done... [LAUGHTER] especially when that ship went up... you looked like the Keystone Cops, didn't I, we went one back in there!
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] I'm afraid I... I went one when the li when the allotment caught fire.
[Adrian:] [LAUGHTER] Cos cos you were pale.
[Eric:] I'd of never... never got that hose out without it would I, now?
[Joy:] No... there's some very in that bag.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] I we I think the fire fighters used... the white skirt tied the way it wa on my shoe
[Eric:] Tried to hold it to it.
[Ruth:] I was s... dirty, mud all up my leg.
[Eric:] Trying to hold the trees together
[Ruth:] All the splashing over me!
[Joy:] Well you had to hold it together
[Ruth:] I
[Andrew:] Do you watch... that er that London's Burning?
[Ruth:] Oh yes, he finds her at erm
[Andrew:] Do you watch that, yeah
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Andrew:] Do you get it last week...
[Ruth:] Yeah
[speaker004:] Yes
[Ruth:] Bailey
[speaker004:] Bailey
[Lisa:] saw the cards.
[Adrian:] He's... dodgy
[Ruth:] I like him... it's
[speaker004:] Good you can find, ah, he loves her.
[Lisa:] a twist
[Ruth:] They didn't think, didn't think he could wait a week,
[speaker004:] One
[Ruth:] At least where he
[Joy:] Didn't watch variety stop?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] No.
[speaker004:] He looked quite good, didn't he?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Yes, well it always is.
[Ruth:] good
[Joy:] Mm.
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER] [].
[Kevin:] Oh have you seen that face lift job he wants?
[Ruth:] No it's over.
[Kevin:] It's well out of order!
[speaker004:] Twenty to eleven.
[Ruth:] I don't know.
[Joy:] Yes it is... Now when he was at school
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Babs (aka Mutty):] No... but I like it back.
[Joy:] Yes well and I didn't like it better either.
[Kevin:] You seen that Andy?
[Andrew:] What?
[Kevin:] This face lift jobby.
[Michelle:] Yeah I know.
[Joy:] And
[Michelle:] You could
[Kevin:] your one.
[Joy:] all because they have to be read, I
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Yes
[Andrew:] That
[Joy:] What is yours
[Ruth:] Michael's really tired.
[Michael:] I'm alright.
[speaker004:] .
[Adrian:] Lovely aren't they?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Yes
[speaker004:] Oh no.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] and I thought that... you wanted that
[speaker004:] Yes
[Babs (aka Mutty):] didn't you?
[speaker004:] very good.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Mm.
[Paul:] Shall I hit him!
[Ruth:] You won't understand it Paul, it's confidential.
[Kevin:] No not my hands please... Mm.
[Karen:] Boys these days!
[Paul:] I'll tape it up.
[Kevin:] No, no, no, no you'll muck up everything.
[Eric:] No.
[Paul:] ... ha.
[Eric:] It's a do-it-yourself pea shooter here.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] Where's it gone?
[Joy:] Eric... in your bag.
[Eric:] I'm chair listener... alright
[Paul:] Yeah
[Eric:] Alright Kev?
[Paul:] You can sort out
[Eric:] Oh yeah, Paul
[Paul:] What earrings this, is it Nanny's?
[Ruth:] What
[Michelle:] I don't know who's that is.
[Ruth:] the green earrings are mine,
[Paul:] Dad
[Ruth:] and the then you can borrow or a
[Paul:] I've found the green earrings.
[Ruth:] erm
[speaker004:] Do you see that one?
[Karen:] Wendy said I could borrow her dress.
[Eric:] Are those your, oh yes of course it is.
[Ruth:] And they come back
[Karen:] She's got a dress a green dress for her for Golden Wedding Anniversary.
[Ruth:] The Sunday after
[Kevin:] Just look.... Are you gonna leave the tape on?
[Michelle:] Ah
[Kevin:] Put the tape on.
[Ruth:] Yes
[Michael:] No don't worry green's, for love.
[Kevin:] Paulie put that other tape
[Joy:] Is it?
[Michael:] I'm learning, how to maybe read the stars,.
[speaker004:] That's right. Her longs are what? Are long and tiddly! Yes. Ah... lovely...
[Lisa:] yes... so
[Joy:] But it's just uncanny I'd suddenly I keep picking green for occasions.
[Ruth:] Well Mutty had a green
[Michael:] Well so do I, I wear it for
[Ruth:] dress
[Michael:] school every day.
[Ruth:] for her Silver Wedding celebration. I... Paul's for a lot of green and he's a
[Karen:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Paul's now...
[Lisa:] then she's going to
[Ruth:] Maybe get so lucky.
[speaker004:] Ooh!
[Ruth:] Maybe us all thinking that it's sort of not quite smart and it's
[speaker004:] It's a toilet set innit?
[Eric:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] You're cheap!
[Ruth:] She has to live like saint.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] I'd rather do it myself. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] No that bats [LAUGHTER]... Ooh look, I've got my ears caught
[Ruth:] You'll come back next year and it'll still be in the box.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Adrian will have to fix
[Adrian:] No.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] fix it up then, cos it, or Andy cos they did a...
[Adrian:] Ooh very useful, yeah.
[Kevin:] Andy didn't mind.
[Adrian:] Hose round corners.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] He's got press ups.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Karen:] Why haven't you taken it all out of the box.
[Kevin:] I
[Ruth:] He's gonna make it.
[Kevin:] Show it everybody.
[Adrian:] He's gonna put it together now. oh.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Yes, yes.
[speaker004:] Oh go on.
[Kevin:] I'll get it all right now
[Ruth:] He's going to put it on
[speaker004:] ... you gotta
[Kevin:] Now you're a five star...
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] No what you are supposed to do is, this is one I made earlier!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] I'm the one who comes last, looking at the other people.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Adrian:] We noticed that, it's all
[Karen:] Yeah it's in a
[Kevin:] Oh hurry up, number three!
[speaker004:] Can't help that.
[Kevin:] Ah this is useless!
[Eric:] If you turn the tape on now you hear all the best murmurs.
[Joy:] I had to get Adrian to do it.
[Eric:] Yes... I'm shoving more
[Kevin:] Course, then there's that bit, alright.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] And then... the nose bit.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Karen:] He's bunging them off.
[Michelle:] And there's no, oh yes there is.
[speaker004:] In the side.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Adrian:] Right, all those he promised.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] It's up to you though Oh is it? [LAUGHTER]
[Michael:] It is recording.
[Paul:] I know it is but don't play around with that!... You'll stop the sound.
[Ruth:] Cream's on the table.
[speaker004:] Ladies and Gentleman, it's
[Michael:] You said that it weren't on anyway.
[Paul:] I know.
[Michael:] So no one thinks it's on.
[Paul:] They know...
[Joy:] anyway.
[Eric:] Oh.
[speaker004:] Doesn't use the instructions then anyway.
[Paul:] Put the mike on.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] last word... then after half an hour
[Adrian:] He told us off for not taking him... there
[speaker004:] Then you
[Ruth:] You'd of looked even funnier next to the [LAUGHTER] six year old []!... Paul looked funny enough.
[Paul:] That
[Ruth:] Well I wondered if he'd wa he'd gone out on the Nottingham cos I wondered what would happen to the mascot... was he shot the mascot, after the the game?
[speaker004:] Well I i... they had the mascot from the it would have only gone out on their home territory.
[Kevin:] Quartered yeah... yeah.
[Ruth:] Hung, drawn and quartered.
[Kevin:] Well I I I said to the chap... he said did you have a good day, this little... guy sitting next to me he answered yeah, good day... yes did you see us? I said, yes we saw you.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] We saw you but did you have to come [LAUGHTER] running over []
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Green coat.
[Kevin:] waving to the crowd!
[Ruth:] Apparently some football teams won't let the fathers on the pitch.
[Andrew:] What did Nottingham Forest beat you?
[Ruth:] If you do it for our side
[Kevin:] Five one
[Ruth:] they won't let the players.
[Paul:] Mum, can we get on?
[Ruth:] Yes... well
[speaker004:] Lucky old [LAUGHTER]
[Karen:] But is it really?
[Kevin:] They try and take photographs of him.
[Karen:] Yes
[Ruth:] We had to take the photographs, he had to go on the pitch, didn't he?
[Kevin:] Well I first had to go down and ask.
[speaker004:] When you think those days of
[Andrew:] Did you get to wear your football shirt as well?
[Kevin:] No I went in
[Paul:] he did ask, didn't you?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Karen:] Oh you do meals, gonna have some don't you?
[Ruth:] In the end people said actually it wouldn't be worth entering, yet
[Andrew:] What we do is I'll go in and video
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andrew:] Eh? When they
[Michelle:] I bought, in the end to drive.
[Joy:] Let me get behind furniture
[Andrew:] Well if Liverpool win
[Ruth:] People... who argue that in the league the lower the that's forty pounds, they must in
[Karen:] What about the league then?
[Adrian:] Eh?
[speaker004:] Until he comes back from... and that
[Ruth:] Well that's because I hadn't been in there and you can be
[Joy:] Yeah and you
[Adrian:] Yes... I'd be sitting on it by now.
[Ruth:] ...
[Adrian:] Yep I'm finished, thank you very much.
[Eric:] Oh dear!
[Ruth:] And the
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Andrew:] Or [LAUGHTER] motoring [].
[Ruth:] Wouldn't mind about the, when yo, you know when you hear about being in it's huge try and gore him... each player so they
[Joy:] What's this photographs of it?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] I'm not
[Kevin:] Which is actually, that's a chemical thing, isn't it, that's the E E C
[Andrew:] Michael.
[Kevin:] ... isn't it
[Andrew:] What's the oldest
[Kevin:] label every chemical.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Has he got that, oh that's quite nice
[speaker004:] Has, has has, has
[Paul:] has, has, has,
[Michael:] You got any spare batteries?
[Kevin:] I dunno... there might be some... then I can have one.
[Michael:] Okay, is it alright to slow it right down.
[Ruth:] Oh yes, but the actual, no...
[Michael:] How do you know if they're working, how?
[Ruth:] Well yeah, might have.
[Michael:] Yeah it's go still working.
[Ruth:] What the tall thin ones?
[speaker004:] Open i open thing.
[Eric:] Don't try and take a photograph.
[Kevin:] You open the... lens cap.
[Eric:] Now you try and take one... you'll have to get
[Ruth:] Just
[Michael:] You're posing... natural, natural
[Ruth:] ... who's camera is it, Paul?
[Karen:] Why isn't it working?
[Kevin:] Well hasn't it got a tall thin flash?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] working
[Kevin:] Well we've got
[speaker004:] flash.
[Kevin:] we've got lots of batteries... Paul, though
[Michelle:] And it won't work if you put the battery in there!
[Kevin:] They'll have, they'll have
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Adrian:] Well done
[Joy:] Did you see B and Q
[Eric:] Pardon?
[Joy:] Did you see B and Q have got a recently now?
[speaker004:] Ah?
[Joy:] ... B and Q.
[speaker004:] Have they?
[Joy:] And they Eric... so cheap.
[Andrew:] Always so cheap... Always buy your in B and Q.
[Kevin:] Oh yeah.
[speaker004:] Oh look.
[Paul:] I said I will wait
[Kevin:] B and Q
[Joy:] Eric... Eric.
[speaker004:] We've tried this one here.
[Eric:] Oh dear, oh dear. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Not such a good idea!
[Kevin:] Little tiny ones... we'd stay and we'd replace them.
[speaker004:] Yeah but
[Paul:] I'm talking about the loose ends.
[Ruth:] Kevin.
[Kevin:] They've lasted all this time.
[Adrian:] good idea
[Kevin:] Must do that must do that.
[Ruth:] How old is?
[Andrew:] I dunno... Paul... Paulie... Paulie... got any patches like that?
[Adrian:] No look look, yeah let's listen.
[Andrew:] I will. where is the sharp ah... to make.
[speaker004:] Two of them?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] You say I
[Ruth:] He bought to go out.
[Karen:] Yes.
[Ruth:] Sam's own school... really
[Eric:] Too up to go down and too low to come up.
[Michael:] as well.
[Eric:] Er
[Ruth:] Granddad
[Eric:] what is it?
[Ruth:] says he so I don't think he was being very practical
[Karen:] Mm.
[Ruth:] Must say
[speaker004:] [singing] Mhm mm mm mm mm mm mm [].
[Ruth:] I think
[Adrian:] You know what to do with these, don't you?
[Karen:] Do I?
[Adrian:] Yes, we can hope, can manage that, yeah.
[Karen:] Ha! I'd laugh if he said yes without!
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER] We'd have a look []... You sure you can?
[Adrian:] Do you want it on the wall or what? Sit on that. Do you want it on the wall or free standing?
[Lisa:] We're putting them up, yes... I can do that.
[Adrian:] On the wall.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Er on the, they're cracking up and I'll be...
[Ruth:] Kevin I don't think I'll have it as whirly as that.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Karen:] It is innit?
[Lisa:] And then when we...
[Andrew:] That's what you've got, is okay.
[Lisa:] erm yeah.
[Kevin:] They're getting me a hose for Christmas.
[Lisa:] and put
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Well that is a good idea.
[Ruth:] Just as well
[Babs (aka Mutty):] a fla a flat one?
[Kevin:] Yeah, we're gonna have a flat one.
[Adrian:] Ha ha... oh go on
[Kevin:] Oh no, it's just remembering without the words.
[Michelle:] Oh go on he says that cos he knows he's got the card.
[speaker004:] Oh.
[Joy:] So I don't know if I can get a.
[Michelle:] ... Is it a then?
[Ruth:] No.
[speaker004:] It's their kitchen that
[Michelle:] It looked quite
[Eric:] That's right, you get it on there surely?
[speaker004:] cos they were in
[Michelle:] No they put that, put that
[Joy:] a long erm... a
[Eric:] Adrian's is on the wall too.
[Joy:] thin looking... scissors
[Michelle:] Well that's a train anything else you think we might know, upside down?
[Ruth:] While they're finishing... aren't you?
[Andrew:] I don't know personally
[speaker004:] Yeah like they got little metal plates
[Ruth:] and they apparently they look very... to the wall.
[Karen:] Ah they won't
[Kevin:] But they can take it off the wall.
[speaker004:] Oh I see... oh that me that means it's working okay.
[Ruth:] Fine, is it alright now?
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Eric:] How much do I owe you for, how much are they Ruth?
[Ruth:] Oh I don't know where it came from it's been a long time.
[Eric:] Don't throw those away.
[Ruth:] If they were new they'd be a in a packet.
[Eric:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] We've fumigated them.
[Joy:] Ooh mind the beer!
[Adrian:] Is it working now?
[Eric:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] Don't all look at me, you're supposed to be going on talking!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Should be perfectly natural.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] I always sound like that.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] It's very true...
[Adrian:] Straight in front of a map and you go urgh!
[Kevin:] then do something and urgh!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Ah!
[Eric:] He don't get any better does he Joy?
[Joy:] Yeah.
[Eric:] Don't get any better.
[Adrian:] You ooh ooh!
[Ruth:] Well do you think we can have our pudding now?
[speaker004:] Yes.
[Joy:] Oh yes.
[speaker004:] Yeah
[Ruth:] Ooh I need spoons.
[Andrew:] Hurry up, you're too hot.
[Kevin:] I don't need a box, oh only so you can break it and then take it back.
[speaker004:] [whistling]
[Eric:] Who's that?
[speaker004:] That's
[Karen:] Actually puddings
[Ruth:] Oh yes,
[Michelle:] can you handle that?
[Eric:] Oh yes that's... piece of a handle.
[Ruth:] The pudding is erm... hot... Jam roly poly or and I used to say... he's really going down it
[speaker004:] On the axles weren't you
[Adrian:] That goes on the axle, I've found that out.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] Why's there a bit left over?
[Adrian:] Oh that's the... ah?
[Ruth:] Oh I'm pleased about that.
[Adrian:] It's alright, I remember now, it goes
[Paul:] Well why don't you do it down here?...
[Adrian:] It's a funny wheel that... funny wheel for it.
[Eric:] Yeah.
[Michelle:] yes.
[Paul:] Do it in there somewhere... like that
[Michelle:] That's right, we did actually yo you and your son managed it. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Oh you're
[Michael:] No, no actually we did
[Kevin:] quite terrible!
[Ruth:] Actually be better
[Michelle:] ... inside.
[Andrew:] Cos then it depends which way you want the... host to come in, which side you want the host to come from.
[Ruth:] I don't think you know.
[Michelle:] I don't think you got the choice on this one Andy.
[Andrew:] No?
[Adrian:] Right... that's... he's done it, by gum [imitates yorkshire accent]
[Ruth:] Now take it out... let it join the bird table.
[Paul:] Ah
[Kevin:] Why didn't it flash then?... Why doesn't it flash?
[Eric:] Doesn't matter
[Michael:] Cos the flash has run out.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] You bought it from B and Q.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] Look
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] You
[Eric:] Got it from.
[Andrew:] strong in that
[Michelle:] You tired?
[Eric:] Well I wonder how strong they are, yes
[Michelle:] What time
[Eric:] yeah.
[Michelle:] did you go to school?
[Paul:] About one
[Ruth:] I think this is your lime, I'm drinking, Kevin
[Andrew:] Do you want that one wound up?
[Ruth:] is there one
[speaker004:] Yeah
[Ruth:] with lime in one?
[Kevin:] Yeah. Or you... I just thought I'd tell you.
[Ruth:] I have got lemonade in it.
[speaker004:] They're both lime and lemonade in. [LAUGHTER] Yes.
[Karen:] I'm sorry that doesn't sound right.
[speaker004:] Cheers.
[Eric:] ... though
[Karen:] Maybe [LAUGHTER] []!
[Kevin:] You need the flash on cos you've got innit?
[Karen:] I can't resist you.
[Joy:] serviette the way you've screwed it up, the way you screw it up.
[Kevin:] Did I?
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Kevin:] Well that's it, there's only one each
[Joy:] Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh!
[Kevin:] That's
[Eric:] No was always quiet.
[Kevin:] I wish somebody else is!
[Eric:] That's it.
[Andrew:] On red light like that, I didn't depress the
[speaker004:] Ooh.
[Andrew:] button far enough for it to take a picture then.
[Eric:] When i whe when the red light you sh should keep your finger on longer.
[Andrew:] That's all I did was it?
[Kevin:] Oh to charge up the flash? Ooh is this my next lot?... Mm.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER] Great... well I
[Kevin:] That's the that is the paper that Michelle
[Michelle:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] gave me
[Michael:] We opening them now?
[Andrew:] Bit early.
[Michael:] I'm not.
[Andrew:] Not putting
[Michael:] We open them cos it's Christmas
[Kevin:] these?
[Michael:] day.
[Ruth:] Dessert
[Kevin:] Do you know how many here for you?
[Michael:] There's some up there.
[Joy:] Well no I'm gonna open... Michelle and Andy's... and they're gonna open ours... I didn't bring everybody else's cos we co... we're seeing them Christmas Day.
[Ruth:] The light goes on...
[Kevin:] I'll end up
[speaker004:] Ooh ooh ooh ooh.
[Andrew:] Hope you get something
[Paul:] Got to use this just like my automatic camera?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Joy:] These from Michelle and... Andy
[Ruth:] You can take a picture now.
[Michael:] have we?
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Michael:] That's good
[Adrian:] [shouting] Kev []!
[Michael:] Uncle.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] You got a drill?
[Eric:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah... a drill [].
[Adrian:] We'll borrow to go up the wall myself.
[Kevin:] left, right, left, right oh no?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] I said we might as well climb up the wall now.
[speaker004:] Yeah, go there now?
[Ruth:] He's got one Adrian, now ask him if he can find it!
[Eric:] Where's your drill, Kev?
[speaker004:] I'll walk round with him.
[Ruth:] You'll need
[Adrian:] Well have your pudding first, before you
[Ruth:] This flat erm
[Karen:] Yes... it looked rather
[Joy:] Very nice.
[Karen:] unusual didn't it?... Erm... we need an extension as well.
[speaker004:] Mm.
[Michael:] I we I went on Thursday actually and I
[Kevin:] Don't worry I'll use the battery power.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] Is this bit yet?
[Adrian:] someone's just had their accessory
[Michelle:] Andy's battery power... downstairs in the prison!
[Joy:] It looks nothing when it is in pieces but as soon as it's... done and together, it looks nice.
[Ruth:] with Zoe.
[speaker004:] The real McCoy?
[Michael:] Especially what you saw.
[Adrian:] Why not?
[Michelle:] if you don't, I don't care.
[Adrian:] Eh?
[speaker004:] Everyone's a different.
[Joy:] Do you think that's true?
[Paul:] Mm?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] They're very useful around
[Kevin:] It says on here do no dismantle once the, I wonder why not, wonder why that is?
[Lisa:] Er Michael
[Kevin:] It must be
[Lisa:] will you for me?
[Joy:] perhaps the plastic stretches. and then take it
[Lisa:] No!
[Karen:] These are lovely.
[Eric:] Really?
[speaker004:] Yes by the
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] Hey you know they're always
[Adrian:] Yeah it's got this bit left over
[Michael:] Er Paul what's that er Paul
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] What a horrible!
[Michael:] What's that?
[Paul:] What?
[Michael:] ... oh.
[Paul:] Even that great big purple thing?
[Michael:] That purple
[Paul:] Yeah that purple thing.
[Kevin:] Well what has this got that's attached in here, eh?
[Adrian:] The hose goes on there.
[Kevin:] on there... yes
[Adrian:] The hose comes from your tap and it goes on there
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] right?... Now the hose for your garden... goes on there
[Kevin:] I see
[Ruth:] Oh.
[Adrian:] Okay, so just... unclip that... by pulling the yellow
[Paul:] See
[Adrian:] bit backwards like that
[Paul:] if you stuck a bit on that
[Kevin:] yeah I know, we got that already, yeah
[Adrian:] unclip that from that there, put it on the end of your hose
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] that'll then wind... and it winds the whole up.
[Eric:] Have you picked a... section
[Ruth:] No
[Adrian:] , oh Ruth look... she's waiting
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] hang on a minute.
[Adrian:] If we go there, she'll the right drill,.
[Ruth:] No we won't have the right drill bit!
[Adrian:] Pardon?
[Paul:] I know what
[Ruth:] laugh innit?
[Karen:] Mum, if you just
[Ruth:] I bought you all we've got.
[Karen:] Mum, did you have that cup?
[Kevin:] Can I get you a drink?
[Adrian:] No thanks.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] The gateaux.
[speaker004:] The
[Ruth:] The
[Michael:] Dad, Dad is that
[Ruth:] What about Aim Hemslow... No?
[Michelle:] drill bits! [LAUGHTER]
[Adrian:] Yeah... isn't it.
[Ruth:] Well Michael, what did you
[Adrian:] Right, here it is
[Ruth:] say about my [LAUGHTER] fruit salad []?
[Adrian:] listen here
[Michael:] It's purple!
[Adrian:] if you're
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] Why can't it be purple []!
[Michelle:] What happened to it?
[Adrian:] It's all this... this thing here.
[Joy:] Blackcurrant.
[Adrian:] This your accessories?
[Joy:] Blackcurrant Michael.
[Kevin:] Well I think that you clip on here.
[Adrian:] Is it with the hose?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Like the garden.
[Kevin:] Is it blue?
[Adrian:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Should be enough left over to push your face [LAUGHTER] into Michael []!
[Eric:] [LAUGHTER]
[Babs (aka Mutty):] It's lovely.
[Eric:] What did you have?
[Michael:] I didn't want to.
[Ruth:] You just said well the fruit [LAUGHTER] salad [].
[Michael:] How can it be fruit salad
[Eric:] What is erm
[Michael:] if it was purple?... greenish or yellowish,
[Joy:] What was that word, Eric? Oh Eric!
[Michael:] like normal fruit salad.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Is he still doing his crossword? He was doing that about five minutes ago.
[Ruth:] Go and get the sweets.
[Adrian:] I'll in a minute.
[Karen:] You'll have to eat it then
[Adrian:] I had two lunches.
[Joy:] Oh did you?
[Ruth:] Grapes, smelly black banana
[Andrew:] Is that the then?
[Ruth:] Paw paw.
[Joy:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Oh yeah.
[Andrew:] Oh.
[Paul:] Paw paw?
[Joy:] black cherries
[Kevin:] So many people do.
[Eric:] So many people get it now.
[Kevin:] doesn't it?
[Joy:] Yeah but my done it in the morning go rush out to the post box
[Adrian:] Accessories... spray gun
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Oh no I think
[Eric:] Where was born?
[Ruth:] Mhm.
[Michelle:] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Eric:] Yugoslavia, but what town?
[Ruth:] ... Sofia.
[speaker004:] There you go.
[Paul:] You ain't got that!
[Kevin:] Hold on Yugoslavia
[Ruth:] Sofia, is Bul
[Kevin:] Bulgaria.
[Ruth:] Bulgaria
[Karen:] Sofia is in Bulgaria?
[Kevin:] Oh thank you, yes.
[Eric:] No A something I something A
[Kevin:] A something I something A... Oh, I could've you that
[Ruth:] I don't know...
[Michelle:] Oh it'll be part Indian.
[Ruth:] No it's not Mother Theresa, it's Saint Theresa.
[Adrian:] got any letters there are five of them?
[Michelle:] Oh you saying number three's
[Paul:] No I'm not
[Michelle:] Saint Theresa?
[speaker004:] Come on... you work it out.
[Kevin:] Saint Theresa we wanted
[Karen:] Oh I thought you were talking about Mother Theresa.
[Paul:] We started this as well
[Adrian:] What yo you do is using that bracket there
[Paul:] I'll tell you what
[Adrian:] on the wall
[Paul:] we'll get... we'll get ours and then we'll sort of mix and match them
[Adrian:] Like so the bracket
[Kevin:] Right.
[Adrian:] fits on there... and that bit just rests on the wall, well then
[Kevin:] Right
[Adrian:] what you can do... is... wind it like that and the hose winds up.
[Kevin:] Oh good.
[Michelle:] You'll be a strong man by the end of it.
[Ruth:] It's alright you're off on Wednesday you can do it then.
[Adrian:] And you can have it like that if you want.
[Kevin:] Yeah I will.
[Ruth:] Just leave it like that.
[Adrian:] I I think it's better on the wall
[Ruth:] Yeah do you think at the moment you could take it all back out again, then?
[Adrian:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Where do I put it, inside the garage?
[Ruth:] No
[Kevin:] I mean
[Ruth:] on the back wall by the tap!
[Michelle:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] Yeah that's where you want it, near the taps.
[Kevin:] Yeah we'll fix it up in a minute.
[Michelle:] It's just to see because then the [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Don't worry about it
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] I'll manage
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Why
[Karen:] We will
[Michelle:] What happens... that's it we come and say right.
[Karen:] Adrian have you got a hand drill?
[Adrian:] Much better on the wall.
[Michelle:] This is how
[Karen:] Got a hand drill?
[Adrian:] No it's not the drill itself, it's more the bit
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] ?
[Adrian:] No it won't s... it's too big... they're are all wood drills dear.
[Andrew:] I've got Eric's somewhere.
[Adrian:] And that's an drill... the what?
[Kevin:] How can you tell?
[Ruth:] Do you know that Adrian that in this house, we don't use
[Kevin:] How can you tell?
[Ruth:] an electric drill in this house any more cos the handle's
[Andrew:] You need Michelle to
[Adrian:] Yeah
[Michael:] Dad is making a
[Paul:] Any of them in there?
[Eric:] Hold on hold on... the are
[Adrian:] Never heard of that, that's just a straightforward drill that
[Ruth:] I think we'll go in.
[Michael:] Auntie.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] That's erm a ten pounds
[Michael:] Auntie
[Babs (aka Mutty):] for the
[Eric:] Oh how old are they, yeah.
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] You first
[Eric:] what did you do to that, look?
[Ruth:] I didn't intend it to be purple.
[Paul:] Yep.
[Adrian:] What about wall pliers?
[speaker004:] I blame Julie she made it
[Adrian:] You'll need wall pliers?
[Kevin:] Yeah I think I've got some.
[Eric:] I'm
[Ruth:] There's half a cabbage
[Andrew:] There's no raw plugs in that packet, is there?
[Ruth:] Cabbage
[Lisa:] Uncle has... uncle... why do you put five Ps in here?
[Adrian:] go in there?
[Paul:] try to sit
[Adrian:] See you just gotta
[Paul:] that one, that one, that one and that one
[Ruth:] I was certainly out of it.
[Kevin:] you got a?
[Ruth:] I was saying to
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Do you want any!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Karen:] Keep an eye on that one!
[Michelle:] Did she
[Kevin:] Anyway
[Andrew:] You haven't got that one.
[Kevin:] I just
[Ruth:] than they had left.
[Joy:] Yes.
[Ruth:] Like
[Adrian:] That's right
[Ruth:] poison deadly nightshade is
[Joy:] Yeah.
[Andrew:] So that's where you put it is it?
[Ruth:] They've never had to survive long
[speaker004:] A couple of weeks.
[Ruth:] sleeping like that.
[Andrew:] Anyway that's the story of
[Adrian:] Right, I'll take this out.
[Andrew:] No that'll make a really good
[Ruth:] And if he's not had
[Karen:] Ooh yeah it'll be good
[Lisa:] the pictures
[Kevin:] Eh?
[Adrian:] No we haven't got a... drill bit.
[Kevin:] Or have you got the same blanks as I've got.
[Adrian:] I think I can manage
[Ruth:] Eric.
[Paul:] We've got twenty seven across which is, birth place of Saint Theresa.
[Kevin:] Yeah I got a minu... A blank I blank A
[Paul:] ...
[Eric:] It's in Yugoslavia I think.
[Ruth:] What makes you think she's from Yugoslavia?
[Joy:] I always though was a symbol
[Paul:] Eleven across
[Joy:] wouldn't you, you buy things in it.
[Paul:] something I V A.
[speaker004:] Kevin's hopeless.
[Eric:] Cor when that door's open!... Who's gone out there?
[Ruth:] Kevin.
[Andrew:] Kevin.
[Michelle:] when we went... back in the kitchen and it's hot but but read the book
[Joy:] I'd everything.
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER] []!
[Adrian:] Now we'll start this one.
[Ruth:] Did you get that?
[Adrian:] When you've read the book, you put it up.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Adrian:] I dare you.
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER] We'll have the book and get the pieces together, yes I []
[Adrian:] No it's when we were doing the electricity.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] He goes now
[Ruth:] I'll be a good girl, I won't
[Joy:] Yes.
[Ruth:] more careful with him.
[Joy:] Michael is too.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Yeah.
[Michelle:] You'll have to read the book then, won't you
[Michael:] It's that.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Ho how do you like your new toy?
[Kevin:] taking it to pieces you can't get them back together again.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Couldn't of intended to stay
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] if I couldn't.
[Adrian:] problem.
[Joy:] Oh oh oh oh.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Oh
[Adrian:] That's his problem!
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Eric:] Who's that?
[Kevin:] What's the ancient... name for the
[Andrew:] the pieces don't you?
[Kevin:] Spanish peninsula?
[Joy:] A
[Andrew:] Iberia?
[Michelle:] Oh no I don't but er [LAUGHTER]
[Adrian:] Don't do that.
[Michelle:] I daren't do that.
[Michael:] I fixed our washing machine.
[Adrian:] Don't do anything
[Michael:] er... our washing machine... clothes.
[Kevin:] You two are... paired up for the quiz, I had a lot of money
[Michael:] and you couldn't do so be quiet!
[Andrew:] too strong.
[Michael:] She knows the master so go away.
[Kevin:] When was that?
[Michael:] ... depends...
[Lisa:] not cos you went
[Michael:] then I went... don't touch that!... Remember when I her washing machine?
[Joy:] erm...
[Ruth:] Yes, big!
[Michael:] Okay do it.
[Ruth:] I was so pleased
[Joy:] that made me there
[Adrian:] Where did you do it, where did you do this?
[Joy:] again.
[Ruth:] Well there's something wrong with the washing machine I got the
[Joy:] She likes to go to bed with
[Michael:] I did the whole washing machine
[Ruth:] and then
[Michael:] I fixed it.
[Ruth:] take away and
[Michael:] Oh aren't I clever!
[Joy:] Aren't you a lucky boy Kev?
[Kevin:] Oh aren't I lucky!... Thank you very much.
[Michael:] It was about two years ago when I was about... thirteen... and
[Eric:] It would've taken me about four hours to do it.
[speaker004:] Da ah ah ah ah ah. And
[Adrian:] Alright...
[Michelle:] Ooh ooh and you've exhausted
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER] Yes []
[Michael:] I can't be bothered with
[Joy:] But er Andy was always you see
[Michael:] Don't really like to to you know I did have a that made me so close to it.
[Michelle:] My Dad was most impressed with that, [LAUGHTER] []
[Joy:] But I always remember Ruth make it a desk, you see it only came and in... she was sitting out there and this desk, all the pieces and parts were going everywhere.
[Ruth:] Given up now, I buy ready made.
[Michael:] Ooh....
[Lisa:] ... do
[Kevin:] Alright there, for coffee?
[Michelle:] yes I did
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Michael:] Ooh ooh.
[Ruth:] I might be getting a barbecue... with
[speaker004:] Kev.
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Ruth:] I can't even get
[speaker004:] I said anyway this is
[Ruth:] you see and then later we're coming on.
[Eric:] I the children.
[Paul:] What?
[speaker004:] No.
[Ruth:] apart.
[Michelle:] Make up [LAUGHTER] the sand [].
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER] Which would it []!
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER] You don't have to []!
[Adrian:] Are you having a dear?
[Karen:] She'd have to put the bags
[Adrian:] Oh yeah come on then.
[Ruth:] Or
[Eric:] Where do you aim from?
[Kevin:] What you bossing me for?
[speaker004:] [singing] Get me down [].
[Joy:] Mind your beer, hold it tight!
[Kevin:] looking up my brother-in-law's nose real.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] have you got a bit of that blackcurrant?
[Joy:] No thank you... no thanks.
[Karen:] Oh haven't put it on there long!
[Lisa:] It's lovely.
[Andrew:] We love that album.
[speaker004:] Which?
[Andrew:] This one? What tha
[speaker004:] What have I got here
[Karen:] Was actually very nice, have the blackcurrant er... sweet.
[Joy:] And th th the the
[Michael:] Yeah... Nan
[Karen:] And that lovely cake.
[Michael:] Nan!
[Kevin:] Yep.
[Michelle:] Oh I got this one.
[speaker004:] Thank you.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michael:] I know an even ruder person than that.
[Karen:] Like who?
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER] Well I know you can but []!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Adrian:] Hurry up!
[Kevin:] I am hurrying as fast as I can, don't
[Adrian:] Come on!
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] Mhm.
[Michelle:] She's not going to [LAUGHTER] recover from it []!
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Is that recording thing on?
[Paul:] Yeah...
[Joy:] They've grown early, haven't they tha those erm
[Lisa:] What?
[Joy:] what they called, narcissus.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Did you love?
[Lisa:] No she didn't.
[Joy:] No I didn't.
[Michael:] No
[Ruth:] It's actually very nice.
[Joy:] What's with it, sponge?
[Ruth:] fruit salad.
[Joy:] No.
[Ruth:] It's
[Eric:] Cream too
[Michael:] Did you know about yesterday?
[Ruth:] The texture of it's really nice...
[Michael:] Dad... Why didn't you know about yesterday
[Eric:] mousse.
[Michael:] what happened?
[Ruth:] Mousse.
[Eric:] Mousse.
[Michael:] Mum.
[Eric:] Blackcurrants on.
[Michael:] Did Lawrence tell you about Kevin
[Eric:] No?
[Michael:] ?
[Ruth:] Doesn't agree with me.
[Michael:] He was everyone.
[Karen:] It's strange and it's only
[Michael:] About what happened yesterday
[Karen:] Oh erm... and Mi Mi Michael shakes erm
[Michael:] I told them about
[Karen:] the.
[Michael:] Do I?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] What does he play?
[Karen:] Gonna play the
[Michael:] ... I he's supposed to be very dangerous.
[Karen:] I told him you mustn't do that again...
[Joy:] Mm.
[Eric:] Joy.
[Joy:] Pardon?
[Eric:] Two third of the meal gone without dropping any down.
[Michelle:] You didn't need to do this for a laugh!
[Michael:] Fifty quid note ripped in half, oh no!
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Oh you can mend that's alright, ha ha.
[speaker004:] That's alright.
[Michael:] No but, what the bloke had one half and you had to have the other half.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] [LAUGHTER] Oh yeah [].
[speaker004:] ... going.
[Kevin:] Alright now with...?
[Michelle:] I'm terrible at going... er since er... October I sort of become really isn't it?
[Kevin:] Is that for the
[Adrian:] Christmas shopping do you think?
[Michelle:] Possibly yeah I think
[Kevin:] Five minutes?
[Michelle:] and I think now so many people are on holidays and yo you really notice
[Kevin:] Oh yeah.
[Adrian:] Oh yeah.
[Michelle:] everybody going to work, you know... rather than er... in the summer.
[Kevin:] But the office improved, haven't they got all the decorators out now even
[Michelle:] Yes, that's sorted out now.
[Ruth:] You haven't got the hole there to put your head in at the moment then?
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] No they've done that... they've fixed the roof.
[Michelle:] They've done that.
[Joy:] You quite like your office don't you?
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Ruth:] Well he's all on his own.
[Eric:] Cor er... good is it?
[Kevin:] Mm...
[Joy:] I mind though
[Ruth:] Where?
[Michelle:] I think it's round about twelve miles.
[Kevin:] Sorry?
[Michelle:] a bit scared.
[Paul:] please... because you
[Joy:] Ooh coupled lovely.
[Kevin:] Coffee's ready, everybody
[Michelle:] And er some
[Kevin:] coffee's
[Michelle:] they erm
[Ruth:] Any more coffees?
[Kevin:] Pardon?
[Ruth:] Did you have some done?
[Kevin:] Yeah. Yeah.
[Ruth:] Coffee?
[Karen:] Nice isn't it?
[Adrian:] Mm yeah.
[Ruth:] Coffee Dad?
[Eric:] Mm... Mm.
[Ruth:] Coffee?
[Eric:] Did Ruth make this?... Er
[Ruth:] Oh yes I did.
[Eric:] I think I'll have, yes please
[Paul:] Coffee... Dad
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Yeah well who's was it?
[Paul:] Can I play?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] ?
[Kevin:] Usually mine or church.
[Eric:] What was
[Paul:] Oy!
[Eric:] the hose for, I.
[Ruth:] It's very nice, thanks the trees.
[Michelle:] called.
[Joy:] Ooh.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] [whispering] Ooh yes but she doesn't want to [].
[Paul:] Do you want coffee, please?
[Karen:] Yes please.
[Andrew:] Do you want coffee, please!
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Unbelievable!
[Kevin:] Don't have to remind me Mum!... Thank you.
[Michael:] Do you want a cup of tea?
[Paul:] Er anybody want tea?
[Joy:] Bet he's not working across the road, he's not coming home
[Kevin:] Thing is, he'll think
[Joy:] for lunch.
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER] look at that []!
[Andrew:] You might want seconds, that I want.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Ha ha ha.
[Joy:] So you're going on Monday to
[Ruth:] Do you want coffee Paul?
[Joy:] Molly's?
[Paul:] No thanks.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] They can't go Tuesday.
[Paul:] I'll have tea later... one two three
[Andrew:] She's got I don't know what I'm gonna do.
[Joy:] What's?
[Michael:] How come... you gotta give forty tapes to the lady then?
[Ruth:] Well she gave us twenty tapes and she said
[Kevin:] That's what to know.
[Ruth:] we she'd like at least ten
[Michael:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] but she le left us twenty.
[Michael:] Why?
[Ruth:] Well cos that's how many they want from each person.
[Michael:] Why do they want... it though?
[Ruth:] I don't know Michael.
[Eric:] They're building a dictionary.
[Karen:] It's for a dictionary.
[Ruth:] For this... for listening to.
[Michael:] A whole dictionary?
[Joy:] To see how many words
[Ruth:] Well
[Joy:] people use,
[Ruth:] well yes
[Michael:] Oh right
[Joy:] people like you.
[Ruth:] and a lot of words that people
[Lisa:] Their computer.
[Ruth:] do use aren't obviously
[Lisa:] yeah so
[Ruth:] in dictionaries.
[Joy:] No.
[Lisa:] so you name words
[Ruth:] Anybody heard of the word lary?
[Michael:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Yes.
[Joy:] Yes.
[Ruth:] That's in no dictionary how do you spell it and what does it mean?
[Michael:] Just lary, yes it is, it's in... a new dictionary
[Lisa:] Well you don't know how you spell it, but it's right.
[Kevin:] Is it right?
[Michael:] Lary
[Lisa:] No.
[Karen:] I means yucky but
[Lisa:] No it doesn't... no
[Kevin:] It's rather yucky.
[Karen:] It's erm
[Lisa:] Lary means
[Karen:] Yeah like
[Michael:] Lary.
[Adrian:] I think actually, I think actually
[Michael:] No lary means mouthy Dad.
[Ruth:] to the teacher.
[Michael:] No... lary means er... mouthy... it means like you're cheeky.
[Ruth:] all of my children
[Adrian:] That's right, that's what I thought that's when it's right.
[speaker004:] Well I don't know.
[Ruth:] But lary meant in a in our time lary meant someone's wearing a sort of bright green an
[Michael:] No lar
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] pink
[Kevin:] No I mean... a lot of people would say that this was a
[Ruth:] in time you'd say that was a lar
[Joy:] Like a lary tie?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] No that's
[Michael:] Don't take any notice of anyone around here, it means mouthy, okay?
[Lisa:] What it means is is things like... someone's got a
[Ruth:] Cheek?
[Lisa:] a cheek, yeah.
[Ruth:] No I said to
[Michael:] Auntie I just s, Mum I just s I just
[Ruth:] find it in the dictionary I'll give you five pounds.
[Michael:] I told hey, I I I told erm
[Kevin:] Wary or lary?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Lary.
[Michael:] I told the lady... what it means... i lary means mouthy, okay? Just in case you didn't hear the first time.
[Ruth:] Well it's not in any dictionary that we can find and yet everybody knew i, all the children from work go
[Karen:] It's a slang word.
[Ruth:] don't be so lary,
[Lisa:] Lary
[Eric:] Lary
[Kevin:] Lary, [LAUGHTER] yeah [].
[speaker004:] Well, you know
[Eric:] One, two, three O'Larey.
[Ruth:] It's well in from the sixties.
[Joy:] Oh now that's an Irish song.
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Michael:] Yeah but lary means mouthy now.
[Michelle:] word.
[Lisa:] No it
[Ruth:] Like gutty.
[Lisa:] Lary means mouthy or she'd was lary clothes, loud clothes.
[Ruth:] yet.
[Michael:] Yeah but lary... lary actually means loud like, but it can mean loud clothes or loud mouth.
[Ruth:] Yeah... John's... at work.
[Kevin:] Now.
[Lisa:] I've been learning that.
[speaker004:] Paul
[Ruth:] It's a word.
[Michael:] It is loud, it's loud clothes and loud mouth, but it's the same as what... you said... so
[Ruth:] It means
[Michael:] It's loud, yeah
[Kevin:] not really
[Karen:] Oh I'll be more laid back.
[Kevin:] the day they sell
[Karen:] things like that
[Kevin:] lary
[Karen:] don't get stressed
[Michelle:] Yeah.
[Karen:] All these
[speaker004:] and they do as well.
[Ruth:] the things that we used to use as verbs, they use as nouns I think I must
[Michael:] Stressed, don't get stressed.
[Ruth:] nouns are part of your Michael.
[Adrian:] you're the ones who can do, get stressed
[Lisa:] Yeah... erm I
[Michael:] Thank you fans, I love you all!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Adrian:] Michael.
[Karen:] She senses the teacher in you Ruth.
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Michael:] Yeah?
[Michelle:] Eh.
[Paul:] Even I can put a computer in like those
[Karen:] Look how I put that microphone.
[Michael:] Mhm.
[Paul:] when they, use it
[Karen:] back properly, but they don't, Michael go er er er!
[Paul:] in a computer like this so that
[Michael:] Aha ha ha ha [whistling].
[Ruth:] And this woman had apparently
[Michael:] Dead cool,.
[Kevin:] Put it down!
[speaker004:] Like Alice
[Michael:] I have.
[Joy:] Yeah.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] er yes where they li
[Ruth:] That's really really common!
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER] Oh no [].
[Karen:] Especially on the tape.
[speaker004:] Were you with hi with him on Saturday, do that? the kind of conversation you go up and down.
[Kevin:] Yeah so put.
[speaker004:] Yeah. Yeah put it
[Kevin:] I'll put it
[speaker004:] yeah take it but
[Joy:] Not unless we find out
[Ruth:] Can you imagine the people who'll get paid to sort out that lot... millions, I mean, probably millions of tapes will be made.
[Adrian:] Some would be quite funny I should think [LAUGHTER] some of the comments we're making []!
[Ruth:] Imagine the poor chap
[Michael:] They've probably
[Joy:] !
[Ruth:] !
[Karen:] Must be horrible doing that in the restaurant, last night, last night
[Kevin:] I went to pay the books.
[Ruth:] we had two weirdest people, we had two
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] for... I was there!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] and
[Michael:] Ah!
[Ruth:] we were nearly under the table
[Michael:] Ooh
[Ruth:] it was a terrible and all of a sudden this man said, I'll be jiggered!... Then she went... right
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] under the table, so Karen's trying not to giggle
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] and I was probably alright, until she kicked me under the table... Paul! This man said to her, this wife, we assume
[Paul:] Yes?
[Ruth:] er we have to get the give and take blend... just right, so it sounded [LAUGHTER] like a coffee []!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] And the conversation was really funny.
[Eric:] They're nice Ruth, where did you get those?
[Michael:] Auntie
[Eric:] Can't remember?
[Michael:] Auntie!
[Eric:] It's gone
[Ruth:] Sainsbury's.
[Michael:] I I can fill a whole tape
[Ruth:] Oh do you want one?
[Karen:] I would always er
[Michael:] Auntie!
[Ruth:] last year but I couldn't
[Michael:] Auntie!
[Ruth:] Do you like them?
[Eric:] For a
[Michael:] Auntie Auntie.
[Ruth:] Course you can...
[Michael:] I can tape still some... slow words
[Eric:] Don't you like?
[Michael:] Auntie!
[Eric:] It is nice in coffee.
[Michael:] Auntie!
[Kevin:] You have when you have it
[Michael:] Auntie.
[Kevin:] with Tia Maria
[Michael:] Do you want me to... do a slang words on it?
[Ruth:] Yes Michael, no
[Michael:] I could do a couple of tapes worth of slang words that they've never heard of before.
[Ruth:] !
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michael:] No... Michael's street language. Auntie... Thanks!
[Michelle:] We've got a.
[Michael:] Is it?... It's what?
[Michelle:] Have you got two or you got one?
[Michael:] No, one.
[Michelle:] I've got the one, [LAUGHTER] I'm with Mutty [].
[speaker004:] Don't you dare
[Michelle:] Do you like biscuits?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Yes.
[Michael:] What was that Paul, was it
[Michelle:] Oh we're the other way around.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Ooh my
[Michael:] I
[Babs (aka Mutty):] is open!
[Michael:] Dad's on my erm... [LAUGHTER] []... thought I was ever so good... no... I usually have baths... I... I usually got erm I usually... get Oriental but I I'm not sure, I haven't tried this yet.
[Karen:] What's that one?
[Michael:] Erm Marina... Marina
[Paul:] Marina
[Michael:] Is that the new one, Marina?
[Karen:] Dunno, ask Paul.
[Michael:] I've I I've got the Oriental shower gel fro... got the Oriental shower gel, that means I've the Oriental and Marina.
[Karen:] Well what's that with the... that's the gel and then the what, the shower gel?
[Michael:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] I love that deodorant.
[Michelle:] Probably
[Joy:] Yes.
[Andrew:] Can I leave that with you then?
[Karen:] Mm.
[Andrew:] That's for Michael's birthday.
[Ruth:] Can I have a look
[Karen:] Well
[Ruth:] at the birthday?
[Joy:] Isn't it
[Ruth:] for [LAUGHTER] Michael's birthday [].
[speaker004:] Is it your birthday?...
[Michael:] Yeah, no... smell my hand!
[speaker004:] Yeah, oh
[Michael:] No, actually that was supposed to be for Christmas, as it goes.
[Lisa:] That's the aftershave then....
[Michelle:] Does he like it?
[Karen:] Yeah... he likes Lynx stuff.
[Michael:] Mm.
[speaker004:] No it's that way... I've already put it in my handbag.
[Michael:] Ah can I have it now?
[speaker004:] Mm.
[Michael:] Auntie.
[Ruth:] I haven't got enough for your birthday.
[Michael:] Auntie, can I have it now?
[Ruth:] No.
[Michael:] I wanna open it... it's only a couple of days after Christmas isn't it?
[Ruth:] Ladies and Gentlemen... Kevin says would you please move... cos these are all teams for this afternoon.
[Eric:] Oh
[Ruth:] The reason why teams have only two members, Karen and Andrew, is because Kevin says... that you two are so clever
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] and he said, you would be bound to win...
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] that puts the kiss of death on the So Andrew, Kevin and... Karen are together so that's alright, then it's... Michelle and Mutty and Paul... and it's Nana and Adrian, my brother's
[Michael:] Well Nana and Adrian and Michael are sitting in there.
[Karen:] And Nana's sitting there.
[Ruth:] Papa, me and Lisa.
[Paul:] There's a star prize for the
[Eric:] Well we got a good team.
[Michael:] Who?
[Ruth:] And the star prize is the whole of three Ferrero Rocher.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michael:] Wow!
[Karen:] The ones that she couldn't have
[Ruth:] Cos I'm on a diet anyway.
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] So I'm gonna
[Kevin:] I'll read out the groups to you.
[Ruth:] try and get a packet and half of each. We'll be alright, won't we?
[Eric:] Lisa an
[Ruth:] And the quiz is nothing to do with me.
[Michael:] Who did it??
[Kevin:] it's me.
[Michael:] Lisa!
[Michelle:] she wins.
[Ruth:] We, no Kevin's not actually in this quiz
[Michelle:] cos he's gone.
[Paul:] every single bit
[Adrian:] No he's the quiz master.
[Paul:] of newspaper
[Ruth:] No he's the quiz master, he made it up.
[speaker004:] Oh.
[Ruth:] I mean, really hard!
[Michelle:] Adrian.
[Michael:] So who are you with, Magnus Magnuson?
[Karen:] With Andy... just the two of us.
[Michael:] won't it.
[Ruth:] Because they'd know.
[speaker004:] I wasn't aware of this
[Ruth:] And then
[Adrian:] I don't
[speaker004:] we've got the.
[Adrian:] She looks thick, but she's wiz, wizard at general knowledge.
[Ruth:] know every single person in the picture.
[Paul:] Have you put the tape on Dad?
[Joy:] Oh do we need glasses?
[Ruth:] Well I think I do.
[Kevin:] Go and get your glasses!
[Andrew:] Have the teams gotta sit together?
[Kevin:] Yeah
[Ruth:] If you need the break
[Kevin:] All out, everything out.
[Joy:] Right.
[Michael:] Right.
[Kevin:] What we'll do now then
[Joy:] I've got my glasses but I haven't got the [LAUGHTER] [].
[speaker004:] We're a team.
[Kevin:] Can I do i
[speaker004:] No I've got the
[Kevin:] the firs
[speaker004:] anyway.
[Kevin:] the first round is
[Joy:] I was waiting for you, I was waiting for you to say one team of four, where
[Kevin:] Bamber Gascoigne doesn't have this trouble, look
[Andrew:] Excuse me.
[Kevin:] the first [LAUGHTER] round []
[Andrew:] Excuse me.
[Michael:] Out the way.
[Andrew:] Excuse me!
[Michael:] Out the way,!
[Kevin:] The first round is pictures so if you
[speaker004:] Alright
[Kevin:] keep your voice down
[Joy:] Ooh I don't have to do that.
[Kevin:] Shall I move over here?
[Michelle:] Is it your birthday this week?
[Joy:] I do like that tie, I've said that before, haven't I
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Joy:] That was the erm
[Ruth:] Well Michael's gotta go and sit with his team over there.
[speaker004:] It was a good one though wasn't it?
[Karen:] It was
[Ruth:] No Po po Papa... but... I said
[Karen:] Why don't you a why don't you all sit on a
[Ruth:] Alright
[Karen:] little bit of that one.
[Ruth:] Yeah alright. Michael.
[Eric:] Mike you've gotta
[Adrian:] No, no, no, no, we're alright... ar... our team's
[Eric:] Ah.
[Adrian:] okay here.
[Eric:] Well we're alright here.
[Karen:] I'll sit on the floor.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] There you are.
[Kevin:] Right.
[Karen:] Is Dad alright now?
[Ruth:] quiz masters can go over there then.
[Joy:] Yes.
[Paul:] No... sit there.
[Karen:] Are you alright there Dad, or?
[speaker004:] Karen, we can.
[Paul:] by Thursday.
[speaker004:] Do you see
[Karen:] I was sat there shouldn't you?
[speaker004:] Shall we sit... What team Michael was on? Oh right.
[Karen:] Michael Michael's with Adrian and Nana.
[Adrian:] Right.
[Michael:] Yeah only so you could
[Karen:] Alright well sit down there then.
[Ruth:] Right there you are... how's that?
[speaker004:] It's alright.
[Eric:] me go back?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Eric:] Who's gonna be there then?
[Ruth:] I'll go here.
[Michael:] It's se... Ah ah ah Lisa!
[Ruth:] And Lisa can sit in the middle on the
[Michael:] Ooh ooh ooh
[Ruth:] on the.
[Eric:] Lisa you're sitting there.
[Ruth:] Are we being recorded?
[Karen:] Why have you got your headphones in it?
[Kevin:] Er it's not
[Karen:] At the same time?
[Kevin:] Something else he's got there.
[Ruth:] Where's ours, where's our Sony? Oh up there.
[Kevin:] Alright.
[Ruth:] Don't walk off with it [LAUGHTER] will you []!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] You're not supposed to be
[Ruth:] [shouting] Four []
[Adrian:] Only four.
[Kevin:] Well you set things up.
[Ruth:] You divided them.
[Kevin:] You set the papers up.
[Adrian:] Ruth... a one one bit of paper each team.
[Paul:] Can we have table?
[Joy:] Are we gonna have pen?
[Paul:] .
[Adrian:] there that one.
[Eric:] grab the table quick.
[Paul:] [shouting] Pen, I'll get a pen [].
[Kevin:] Pens are there... by the telephone.
[Joy:] Oh give us then will you.
[Michael:] No I wo I won't have one.
[Joy:] Thank you
[Andrew:] Here are Joy, rest it on the back of
[Kevin:] Everyone got a pen?
[Andrew:] your hat.
[Michael:] Mum!
[Kevin:] Joy?
[Michael:] I've got it.
[Eric:] You have to to win a box of chocolates.
[Joy:] Well you work for yourself, I'll work for me.
[Karen:] Just the Ferro
[speaker004:] Ha.
[Karen:] Oh... Is that all?
[Joy:] We'll work really hard.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] Michael.
[Michael:] Not really.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Okay, about ten minutes.
[Ruth:] Next!
[Joy:] Don't turn over these papers.
[Paul:] Was it you Dad?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] God it's like an exam!
[Kevin:] Don't turn over your papers.
[Eric:] Well
[Kevin:] Yeah, this is a mock.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Mock
[Adrian:] Do we write the answers straight off the sheet?
[Kevin:] Ah?... Yes the answers
[Karen:] On the
[Kevin:] are in a little box, under each picture put the name what you, who you think it is, underneath, in that part
[Karen:] Have we got to be quiet?
[Kevin:] If you shout out... other people will hear
[Joy:] Other people would pick it up.
[speaker004:] starting
[Kevin:] Starting... now... turn your sheets over now.
[Andrew:] It's up there goes in the box, Joy.
[Ruth:] Right, cos
[speaker004:] [whispering] []
[Lisa:] Do we have to give a name of a... character or
[Kevin:] Well to be quite honest when it's when it's I'll give one point for the character's name
[speaker004:] Uncle!
[Kevin:] but if you get the actor who's playing it
[Lisa:] have one?
[Karen:] We'll put anyway.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER] Yes [].
[Andrew:] You're supposed to write it on there, Joy.
[Joy:] Oh on these, what did you give me a paper for?
[Andrew:] No, no
[Kevin:] No that's my future on, sorry!... That's a... that's for
[Joy:] They won't need that at the moment.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [whispering] []
[Joy:] Mike, you're supposed to be helping ours.
[Andrew:] Are you... taking part?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [whispering] []
[Karen:] Go away!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [whispering] []
[Paul:] Dad, do you name the characters then?
[Kevin:] You get one mark for a character name and if you name the actor who's playing it, two marks.
[Paul:] You get one mark, one point for the character name
[speaker004:] Kev.
[Kevin:] Yes.
[speaker004:] You got another picture?
[Paul:] one for the character name and a extra... one point or something for, if you can the other one... yeah.
[Lisa:] If you get the character name... one point
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [whispering]
[Kevin:] It's a good idea though... If you want a spare one... or are you all happy?
[speaker004:] We're alright.
[Kevin:] Anybody want a spare one?...
[speaker004:] Me.
[Kevin:] across.
[speaker004:] Uncle, Uncle.
[Kevin:] A spare one there.
[Eric:] What one point for the name and one point
[Kevin:] Yeah
[Eric:] Kev?
[Kevin:] For a character name, the, if you get the one mark for the character
[Paul:] Dad, why was that a singer
[Kevin:] an extra mark
[Paul:] type singer... ah.
[Kevin:] Oh no you couldn't get it for singer.
[Karen:] Ah.
[Paul:] Bu... good then.
[Kevin:] Right.
[Eric:] That's good though.
[Kevin:] Oh he's not a character it only works in only works in
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [whispering] []
[Lisa:] I don't know who the actor is, I know who he is
[Eric:] It's hard
[Karen:] I haven't a clue who that is!
[Lisa:] Who's that person?
[Michelle:] Yes yes I know
[Lisa:] Who's that person?... He was on the variety Oh that's what's his name, yeah.
[Kevin:] Well as you all know I'm really good on names.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [whispering] []
[Kevin:] Keep your voices down... the ears are... listening.
[Karen:] The walls
[Lisa:] Ah.
[Karen:] have ears.
[Lisa:] That's...
[Kevin:] Write it down
[Ruth:] Politicians, I haven't a clue, why did you fill it up with politicians, for goodness sake!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [whispering] []
[Karen:] I didn't know there were any politicians on there anyway, politicians.
[Michael:] I know who number two is.
[Ruth:] Yeah,
[Michelle:] It's easy.
[Ruth:] that's the easiest one on the sheet!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [whispering] []
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Well we've only got two to get.
[Karen:] Have you?
[Ruth:] Yeah but we've only got two!
[Joy:] No but we need
[Karen:] We need, we've only got one more
[Ruth:] Yeah, well... Kevin was right then, wasn't he?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER] [whispering] []
[Paul:] Got five left.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [whispering] []
[Eric:] How many you got?
[Joy:] Er all but
[Eric:] only wants one
[Joy:] two.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [whispering] []
[Eric:] have only got two left.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [whispering] []
[Ruth:] We give up, we haven't got a blinking clue!
[Eric:] No.
[Paul:] We got one...
[Joy:] Two, we've got two we don't know.
[Ruth:] Few more minutes... Wouldn't matter if we had minutes, Kev. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Oh come on.
[Ruth:] Can't do any of them.
[Michelle:] What!
[Joy:] Oh no.
[Ruth:] Hardly done any of them, got about five.
[Michelle:] Oh!
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] I've got five to go.
[Kevin:] Hate to tell you, that was the easy page!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Have we got fifteen?
[Adrian:] We have.
[Ruth:] Yeah but ten of them are!
[Lisa:] They're not.
[Adrian:] Oh no they're not.
[Ruth:] Ah?
[Paul:] Mum.
[Karen:] You can't ask her!
[Paul:] I wasn't going to, I wanna say something... Mum
[Adrian:] You know what I mean... you know the one who's got Mrs
[Paul:] always
[Adrian:] She says er... only one Mrs er
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [whispering] []
[Joy:] Yeah but he said, put th... what they're concerned with, you ge get an extra point.
[Adrian:] Yeah.
[Joy:] if you say what they link.
[Adrian:] No it's the character... character name
[Joy:] Yes.
[Adrian:] or the actor's name.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [whispering] []
[Joy:] I've just put down... erm whatever I know that is
[Kevin:] [shouting] Alright, time's up [].
[Joy:] but I don't know his first name.
[Kevin:] Why's one of them lying on her back?
[Paul:] I think we've done better with Mother.
[Joy:] Mm?
[Ruth:] I should think you'd have easy done better than
[Paul:] Mum... Did you spot the cheeky one, number twenty?
[Ruth:] Oh I knew that one straight away.
[Paul:] Yeah I knew straight away, easy one.
[Kevin:] You can tick your own.
[Ruth:] Do you get two points for a totally correct answer an
[Kevin:] I'll decide as I go along.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Oh.
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER] Oh listen to that []!
[Karen:] Decide as I go!
[Kevin:] Right, ready?
[Lisa:] Oh Uncle, what's his name first?
[Kevin:] Eh?
[Ruth:] No wait till we get
[Andrew:] What's that other picture there?
[speaker004:] You alright? [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah [].
[Andrew:] Okay, ha.
[Kevin:] Right... number one... who any of the answers, give me some answers.
[speaker004:] Fagin, Ron Moody.
[Kevin:] Dicken's character.
[Joy:] Tha... that's right yeah... I
[Kevin:] It's wrong.
[Ruth:] Isn't it, it is.
[Kevin:] Fagin I give you one, for Fagin.
[Ruth:] We've got Dicken's character.
[Kevin:] Anybody got a name, the right name?
[Andrew:] I've got
[Karen:] He was the Fagin?
[Kevin:] No... I
[speaker004:] He was a Fagin,
[Joy:] If they get that he was originally Karen, this is a different
[Eric:] What about Dicken's character?... Do you get one for that?
[Joy:] Took his part.
[Kevin:] Alec Guinness.
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Alec Guinness!
[Kevin:] You get one for Alec Guinness, one for Fagin.
[Ruth:] No, do you get for a Dicken's character?
[Kevin:] Er... no, no, no, no.
[Ruth:] We could of got Fagin as well, couldn't we?
[Kevin:] Right
[Eric:] Yeah we got Fagin...
[Joy:] Next
[Kevin:] I... I don't know his name in
[Joy:] He's in Coronation Street
[Kevin:] I'll give you one for that
[Joy:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] What?
[Paul:] Alec Gilroy
[Kevin:] I'll give you two for his
[Paul:] It's Alec Gilroy
[Kevin:] right one for that... I'll give you two for his actor's name
[Ruth:] His mos his other real name is Ron something
[Kevin:] real name
[Joy:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Is it Ron something?
[Kevin:] Nearly.
[Ruth:] Don, Ron
[Lisa:] Ronald
[Kevin:] According to me, it's Roy Barraclough.
[Joy:] Ah ah ah.
[Ruth:] Ah that's it!
[Kevin:] Two for Roy Barraclough.
[Eric:] We get one for that.
[Ruth:] No we don't.
[Eric:] Why not?
[Ruth:] Get two something
[Paul:] Alec Gilroy
[Ruth:] No you can have the name of the
[Kevin:] That's
[Joy:] You get one for Coronation Street, you get one if you got the title
[Kevin:] Yeah that's
[Joy:] of the show.
[Kevin:] one for Coronation Street.
[Michael:] Dad
[Eric:] We get one, put a one
[Michael:] Dad
[Kevin:] Right, three is
[Karen:] You've only got one.
[Kevin:] [shouting] Bernard Manning []!
[Joy:] [shouting] Bernard Manning []!
[Ruth:] [shouting] Yeah []!
[Paul:] We've put a?
[Joy:] One for that.
[Kevin:] A cook!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] Is that one?
[Paul:] Who was he?
[Kevin:] One for that, yeah.
[Paul:] Who was he?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Bernard Manning.
[Kevin:] cook... yeah one.
[Joy:] Next one.
[Kevin:] You could of got
[Joy:] Tom Jones
[Kevin:] four, I cut that down as much as I could... so
[Joy:] Next one.
[Ruth:] Tom Jones.
[Joy:] Tom Jones.
[Kevin:] Tom Jones, yes
[Paul:] Yeah
[speaker004:] singers
[Kevin:] One for that.
[speaker004:] Two!
[Karen:] Do you get
[Eric:] Two for Tom Jones!
[Joy:] Why?
[Ruth:] Because we got the right name!
[Kevin:] No, one that's only co couldn't be anything else
[Ruth:] Ooh, you rotter!
[Kevin:] It's all the same for everybody.
[Joy:] Yes.
[Lisa:] Is it singer, do you get one for singer?
[Kevin:] No we'll have si, singer, no we're not having that.
[Joy:] Nope.
[Ruth:] The next one.
[Kevin:] We're not having actor for number
[Joy:] No.
[Kevin:] either. [shouting] Oh yes []!
[Eric:] Who?
[Ruth:] Richard Dreyfuss.
[Karen:] Yes.
[Ruth:] do I get one?
[Joy:] I didn't know that anyway.
[Ruth:] Karen said it's a man in Always.
[Karen:] He is isn't he, Mum?
[Joy:] Who?
[Ruth:] the film Always,
[Paul:] Yeah... yeah
[Karen:] Well I dunno, you're the man in the chair!
[speaker004:] Yes!
[Kevin:] Alright one for that.
[Ruth:] Is it one or two for Richard Dreyfuss then, anyone?
[Kevin:] Who got six?
[Karen:] He's an American comedian on the show.
[Paul:] On the Variety show.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] [shouting] Do you think we could have his name []!
[Paul:] Do we get one
[Kevin:] It's over
[Paul:] for comedian?
[Kevin:] It was on last night.
[Joy:] Oh Rabbi Mason I've got.
[Kevin:] Who?
[Joy:] Rabbi Mason.
[Kevin:] Well yeah, he is a rab
[Ruth:] He is a rabbi
[Kevin:] he is Mason... he's Jackie Mason
[Joy:] Ah.
[Ruth:] He is a rabbi.
[Kevin:] He was a
[speaker004:] You should get two for that?
[Kevin:] Yeah,
[Ruth:] Can we
[Eric:] Joy.
[Ruth:] an American comedian on the Variety show?
[Joy:] Well did I... well we did
[Ruth:] American chat show host.
[Paul:] Dad.
[Kevin:] Well he was on last night.
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] He's not a chat show host!
[Paul:] Dad, dad dad!
[Ruth:] He's American.
[Paul:] [shouting] Dad []!
[Kevin:] Yeah, one for comedian, that's alright.
[Ruth:] Then American.
[Kevin:] You and Michael,!
[Karen:] Gonna be something!
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] When I go through this, I know who's gonna go.
[Michelle:] And number five is Saunders... Guinness.
[Kevin:] Yes... yes that'll be Saunders.
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] That's not right!
[Joy:] Is that two or one?
[Paul:] Mum, do you think I could have a pen?
[Karen:] Michael what did you do you can't write it in now,
[Paul:] Mum
[Karen:] !
[Paul:] Mum
[Ruth:] Yes?
[Kevin:] One for you, cos they got Ernest Saunders, two
[Joy:] Oh.
[Kevin:] for them.
[Paul:] Mum, did you get number ten... by the way?
[Ruth:] I don't know yet.
[speaker004:] Number eight, have you got?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Tick tack man!... Yeah
[Kevin:] You get one for tick tack
[Babs (aka Mutty):] bookmaker
[Kevin:] Wait
[Babs (aka Mutty):] [shouting] Channel four []!
[speaker004:] Tick tack man we've got.
[Kevin:] Anybody got his name?... Two for his name.
[speaker004:] What is his name?
[Paul:] I can't think.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] John McCrirrick
[Joy:] Never heard of him!
[Ruth:] So can we have tick tack man?
[Kevin:] Tick tack, one
[Michelle:] Got it I've got that.
[Kevin:] bookmakers, one
[Joy:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] tick tack's, one... yep.
[speaker004:] Next one's
[Kevin:] And I heard Dad say straining, that is close.
[Ruth:] Jack Nicholson not John Nicholson!
[Paul:] She said John!
[Ruth:] I said that.
[Kevin:] Jack Nicholson and he was straining he was pulling up that water... you know the
[Paul:] Jack Nicholson.
[Kevin:] water
[Paul:] Do you get one for that.
[Ruth:] Can we have one, for if he looks as though he's straining?
[Kevin:] No.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] Have we got one?
[Paul:] Can we have one for Jack
[Joy:] Where?
[Paul:] Nicholson?
[Karen:] This one... and two we said
[Kevin:] ... I think we're two for Jack cos Jack and Nicholson
[Joy:] I didn't know that.
[Ruth:] [shouting] Oh we wouldn't get two for Tom Jones []!
[Karen:] [shouting] Sneaky []!... And you didn't give us two
[Kevin:] Right
[Paul:] No, one
[Karen:] for Tom Jones!
[Kevin:] one alright, one.
[speaker004:] One ha ha...
[Kevin:] Cos we had it on one And one for
[Ruth:] And he got Jack Nicholson
[Kevin:] Yep.
[speaker004:] Oh we knew he was but we!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andrew:] Can I get a word in edgeways here?
[speaker004:] What?
[Kevin:] Did he play Daryll in the... Witches of Eastwick?
[Lisa:] No.
[Karen:] Yeah, he played it in the Witches
[speaker004:] Did he?
[Karen:] of Eastwick, but I don't think
[Andrew:] Yeah, well we got Daryll.
[Karen:] Well you see
[Joy:] Ha ha ha!
[Andrew:] And you say the part?
[speaker004:] Yes.
[Andrew:] Pardon me.
[Kevin:] Alright, one for that
[Joy:] Half.
[Paul:] No!
[Kevin:] One for that and two for you.
[Andrew:] See it was who I thought it was.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Paulie knows number ten, he's
[speaker004:] Say that again Mum.
[Joy:] Bart Simpson.
[Kevin:] Two points
[speaker004:] Yep.
[Kevin:] for Bart Simpson.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] I bo yes.
[Kevin:] Bart and Simpson.
[Ruth:] Excuse me!... Why can't
[Eric:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] we have two for Tom Jones?
[Kevin:] No I've decided.
[Ruth:] I can't see that!
[speaker004:] Why not
[Kevin:] No sorry... I've deci, I said I'd make it up [LAUGHTER] as I went along []!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] Number eleven
[Kevin:] Two for Bart Simpson
[Joy:] the next one is Heron
[Paul:] again
[Joy:] Heron
[Kevin:] One for Heron
[Ruth:] One for Russian?
[Kevin:] Russian!
[Paul:] Yeah it's a hero
[Ruth:] Russian... isn't it?
[Kevin:] name though.
[Joy:] Heron
[Kevin:] Who is it?
[Paul:] it was a... it was an
[speaker004:] Give us a clue.
[Joy:] It is Heron
[Kevin:] Heron is a
[Michelle:] Rohnson something?
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Joy:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] I should've known this but
[Paul:] Dad?
[Joy:] Well I know it's wrong, since I hadn't put it down... but I had Heron down.
[Karen:] If you knew it was Rohnson why didn't you put his name down!
[Joy:] I don't know, ha ha ha!
[Karen:] You big wally!
[Paul:] I got the next one.
[Kevin:] from the head of the.
[Paul:] I know the next one.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Dad.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [cheering] Hey!
[speaker004:] We got that. to Come Dancing.
[Eric:] I thought I'd put her over there
[Karen:] Kevin, we've got Lancia down.
[Kevin:] Lancia?
[Karen:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Yeah, what for Heron
[Karen:] For Mr Rohnson
[Ruth:] Oh, we got that.
[Michelle:] Why?
[Kevin:] I don't... I don't see the connection.
[Karen:] Well he owned Lancia as well as Heron
[Ruth:] Hard luck if you didn't know that.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Well we've
[Karen:] Well I think I should get three points for knowing that now.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] Not a lot of people know that.
[Ruth:] How many points for Angela Rippon?
[Kevin:] Ha?... One o w... one point off for being cocky!
[Ruth:] How many points for Angela Rippon?
[Kevin:] One... that's only have one, that's easy.
[Ruth:] Cor one!
[Kevin:] [shouting] Who got thirteen []?
[Ruth:] Ken Maxwell.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [shouting] He's first []
[Paul:] [shouting] Maxwell [].
[Ruth:] No it's Kevin Maxwell
[Kevin:] Kevin Maxwell
[speaker004:] Who?
[Paul:] Oh I got Ken Maxwell.
[Joy:] Oh I only got one.
[Ruth:] [shouting] You only get one, we got two []!
[Karen:] Ken, Ken, Kevin Maxwell.
[Michael:] Why what's he do?
[speaker004:] Who is it?
[Ruth:] He's the son of, Maxwell's son.
[Kevin:] Maxwell... Maxwell, Kevin
[speaker004:] Do you? Yeah. Marquis of Blandford!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Dad... dad, dad!
[Michelle:] I'm glad you you know!
[Kevin:] You're closer than you think
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] Like what?
[Kevin:] Move back come on,
[Ruth:] Chelsea
[Kevin:] One point
[Michelle:] You creep
[Kevin:] go on then put it there.
[Adrian:] Fifteen was your
[Michelle:] Who was it? Who was
[Adrian:] and I do of course
[Eric:] How, tell him when he was young.
[Karen:] Now sixteen, go on.
[Ruth:] Who was the
[Eric:] What?
[Ruth:] football.
[Kevin:] Jimmy Greaves
[Michelle:] Greaves, I knew, we know
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michelle:] I knew I knew his face.
[Kevin:] Jimmy Greaves.
[Eric:] Who wrote, who, what are the
[Michelle:] We got, we got football
[Ruth:] Chelsea football
[Karen:] She answered football
[Kevin:] Chelsea football right
[Ruth:] No
[Kevin:] Great Crystal Palace
[Michelle:] Good boy [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Minus one, huh.
[Karen:] Don't believe
[Kevin:] One football
[Michelle:] Nothing really
[Eric:] Oh
[Kevin:] No, we didn't get anything
[Adrian:] Who's on the
[Michelle:] One.
[Adrian:] Oh there were two pair of ones
[Kevin:] Right, this evening
[Michelle:] What can we have?
[Kevin:] One mark.
[Michelle:] That's four.
[Kevin:] Two for magic
[Karen:] So.
[Ruth:] Yeah, we got magic and the
[Michelle:] Have you got
[Kevin:] And, and, that he acres
[Michelle:] Won't give up a point for
[Kevin:] Who didn't, who didn't get number eighteen?
[Karen:] Rupert Bear [LAUGHTER]
[Michelle:] When person was alive.
[Adrian:] Phone call.
[Karen:] What?
[Michelle:] No its alright, we've talked him out a minute [LAUGHTER]
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Adrian:] I thought, how many places you get
[Ruth:] Rupert
[Kevin:] Two, two's the maximum you can get
[Karen:] You take three from my last one, why was that?
[Kevin:] What you get three for?
[Karen:] magic
[Kevin:] No, if you're not getting
[Ruth:] Oh, come off it
[Kevin:] three
[Karen:] Oh I No.
[Kevin:] Why not?
[Karen:] We won't
[Kevin:] Don't be greedy.
[Karen:] gonna hear from Rupert, one
[Kevin:] One
[Michelle:] What about Rupert Bear?
[Kevin:] Good try, but no.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Karen:] Arnold Schwarzenegger, Terminator
[Michelle:] I could be a [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Arnie Schwarzieger
[Michelle:] Two
[Kevin:] Two for that cos they got the film as well
[Karen:] Oh, and the next one is Kevin Bambers
[Michelle:] And Jack, and Jack the Ripper. How many did we get with Kevin?
[Paul:] How many points?
[Adrian:] One for Kevin
[Michelle:] Can we change teams please?
[Karen:] Twenty one.
[Ruth:] They should of been all out in teams.
[Michelle:] Can I take the spare one into work?
[Joy:] Twenty one.
[Michelle:] Twenty one you stupid
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER].
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Oh right
[Adrian:] Clever dicks on the sofa.
[Kevin:] I got only wrong answer
[Joy:] Ha, ha, ha, twenty six over there.
[Michelle:] That's not fair cos we never
[Eric:] Right, I got so many wrong answer, I put
[Kevin:] Cruel.
[Adrian:] I heard that
[Kevin:] Right come on Ruthie
[Ruth:] Fourteen and a half.
[Adrian:] Oh bottoms.
[Kevin:] Half, where'd you get a half from?
[Ruth:] Ah well we had, you had we had that, that bloke Americans, so we got half a point.
[Kevin:] Right who's good at geography?
[Karen:] Oh well Ruth should be, she's got a
[Michelle:] It's absolutely got nothing to do with geography Well You know why he's they did a quiz at Phillips
[Karen:] Oh you can
[Kevin:] You need your papers, oh there it is. Yes, you any good at this?
[Michelle:] Oh, we've decided not to give it to America so oh I know what it is Lisa, I've been really honest and I haven't got a clue, look
[Adrian:] all numbered, I want the na, names of the
[Michael:] Oh give it out... you've got to be joking. Just write them in the boxes Joy on the paper
[Joy:] No it says it on the paper.
[Michelle:] I haven't got a
[Joy:] I'd like to keep them
[Adrian:] I'd like to keep them wrapped Michael cos I take it to work.
[Michael:] I was gonna screw it up and throw it at you. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Neither have I.
[Michelle:] I've done three and I think that's wrong.
[Michael:] I haven't got a clue either. Michael got any ideas?
[Paul:] Dad, are these maps to scale?
[Kevin:] What?
[Paul:] no way is that big.
[Kevin:] Are you a calling me?
[Paul:] Well are these, are these to scale? They all, well, that is
[Kevin:] Yeah
[Paul:] really that big?
[Kevin:] Mm, mm.
[Paul:] There's nothing in the middle that big.
[Kevin:] Yes there is, but it's got a new name, called
[Babs (aka Mutty):] If we put the old name do we get one mark?
[Kevin:] You'll get, yes you'll get one for that
[Lisa:] Can we put that this one's near,
[Kevin:] No you can't put near
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] No,... isn't it mum?
[Joy:] Yes.
[Lisa:] I'd rather have South America I think Andy
[Andrew:] I bet you lot, I bet you I know who's going to score the highest this time.
[Lisa:] Who?
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Who?
[Andrew:] Karen, wait and see, I'll tell you if you're right.
[Lisa:] What is Joy doing? What you've got there in your hand? Oh. [LAUGHTER]
[Andrew:] Joyce writing, got it all sussed out.
[Adrian:] I wouldn't say that
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Paul have most....
[Andrew:] I don't think so, no, it's interesting.
[Eric:] Is it switched on... or you listening to something?
[Lisa:] Why couldn't you given us well known countries?...
[Adrian:] I tell you what Kevin if you'd done Europe I think you'd of had, we'd of had just as much trouble.
[Karen:] No, no, I'd of done Europe.
[Lisa:] No, cos we haven't got a clue...
[Karen:] We've finished.
[Kevin:] Have a guess.
[Karen:] Finished, I know lots of countries in just don't know where they fit.
[Joy:] It's right
[Karen:] What, no we haven't done this one...
[Joy:] I know.
[Karen:] Oh yes, I know what, don't know what it's called now. Right, we've finished.
[speaker004:] Give the answer to the
[Karen:] We don't know any of them, but we've finished, I've got
[speaker004:] Oh don't give them any more time
[Karen:] As much as I could do south of the equator
[speaker004:] I've just done Europe or South America.
[Kevin:] Well hopefully there won't be too much argument this time.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Unlike the last
[speaker004:] Who requires more time? Who wants more time? Yes we do. cos we're only just finishing. Should of just done it though. No, we didn't do Africa Didn't we? Not enough
[Michael:] Yeah I do.
[speaker004:] Well you might but only at that age Go on then Mike if you do it. Well why aren't you asking the questions then?
[Michael:] I did it in the first year, I'm in the fifth year now, that was four years ago.
[speaker004:] Oh yes, well then it wasn't National Curriculum. God is it four years ago? Can we put in Sahara Desert? Can we put things that were there aren't any numbers fellows? I'm gonna put Sahara Desert,. I know the South Africa It's the positioning that's difficult, ten, nine, you, cos what Can get some points, Are you ready? Ready as we'll ever be. Uncle we have, Yeah ready as we'll ever be. Uncle if we had some other places in do we get more points cos Sahara Desert is where we no, no, no, no not. O K ready. Yeah. Yeah. Right who's got number one, this Zambia Mm. Botswana. Nambia. It's Namibia anyway, but it's not
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Botswana.
[speaker004:] the one below, it's bad luck Botswana. Botswana. Oh I thought number twelve was had a big war for a long time, Angola.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Oh Angola.
[speaker004:] Fancy not knowing that These are all the easy ones, I picked all the easy ones. Two. Right, you better Zimbabwe get two Right, two is I told you. You wouldn't listen to me. No, but it's, where's it's erm, it's you it's not very well can you imagine, can you imagine on the top of it
[Paul:] Dad
[speaker004:] Zambia's L-shaped that is.
[Paul:] how do you know why
[speaker004:] sorry? because that's not right up there then Oh,. That's misleading. This is perfectly good scale so it's accurate, yeah I've just, I traced it that's O K. I thought it joined up on Mozambique. Sorry? I thought the border was on Mozambique. Border of what? Mozambique What about Mozambique's on the coast 's not on the coast.
[Paul:] Dad
[speaker004:] Yeah, but then you, that impression made me think that all, it's all South Africa, which, which was why And then I thought was erm I'd coloured it in for you I said, I said, I didn't think there'd be much discussion over this.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Kevin just take hold of this will you and have Number three. Number three. Syria. Ethiopia. Kenya.
[Paul:] What's three
[speaker004:] No, next to number four Three Three
[Paul:] Dad
[speaker004:] Yes, who got Sudan? We got one. I thought Ethiopia was Sudan now? At last. Sudan, mm. We put number eleven as Sudan. Oh we didn't put anything. Syria. Right number four someone Malawi Yeah, very good. Malawi oh Niapaland I give No. What? Niapaland. Number five. Number five Nigeria? Yeah. Gold Coast Nigeria. Who's got Nigeria? Er. Oh Oh Six, Libya
[Paul:] Algeria.
[speaker004:] Morocco, Morocco Morocco Yeah. You got that one? had that one. Seven I had Morocco. Number seven. Tunisia. Alger Greece Oh. Very good, you said you didn't get them.
[Paul:] Only got two out of seven
[speaker004:] Tunisia. What is seven?
[Paul:] Tunisia.
[speaker004:] Tunisia. What did we have? I can't Oh we had Morocco the wrong way round.
[Paul:] Eight, we got Egypt
[speaker004:] Oh. it's Egypt. Number eight, Egypt.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] You all get that one? Yeah, we all got that. But you see doing them in the isolated spot Makes it harder yeah you don't join them up, I mean I've got to know the borders Oh Yeah, that's the same for us all Oh it's so unfair isn't it? Yeah, but you Did anybody get number nine as well? Nigeria. Didn't get any one. Oh, I got there. Number ten then. Number ten? Toga. Close. Ivory Coast.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Oh.
[speaker004:] I did. Have you written What did he put? He put three times. Right, who's Number eleven? Mozambique Ethiopia. Sudan. Is that it? Number eleven Mozambique Kenya.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Oh is it? [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Oh got that right Kenya's lake, Kenya's got a border with Why who thinks was a country? I thought Kenya was a Yeah. Botswana, Botswana Who thought twelve was a No I would. Congo. It's a Conga. Yes it is, it's the Belgium Conga with Well honestly I get the back of the You put Belgium Congo's, no Good gracious. I'm ashamed of myself. Didn't get anything there did you? Add up your scores, one for every one you got right. Well I'm totally ashamed. So am I, cos I, I don't like that map, I don't like that map at all, I mean if you drew a map Look lady twenty years of don't you
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Don't that was traced, a. The point is I never had a map you haven't joined up so you know which country You couldn't join them wide, join them up and confuse actually. No. You should, you should do another one on the counties. I know, I've got a map of that, it's unbelievable. Kenya, Kenya was this one. Oh. Oh the counties were in English, but Well what did you do I don't know [LAUGHTER] I might not [] What did you get? Two The counties I could do that. Oh yeah. Yeah, the counties. I'm very disappointed. Two out of twelve Yes, I should be between Malawi and Well I bought cake and. Right, Paul, you got nineteen, mum's got, mum and Andy Hey you say the picture one was separate. You got nineteen? You said the scores for the picture one was separate Oh you old clever dick [LAUGHTER] I made, I made then up Two I made
[Paul:] You got three on that.
[speaker004:] Oh, nineteen altogether, that's good, twenty three altogether, that's good, twenty nine
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Oh. [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] They've got
[speaker004:] Nineteen and a half you're catching up, you're catching up, right. That half might make all the difference. Were losing Yeah, might.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] How you've got twenty nine? True, true It's a bit expensive The fact you box him round the ears to get the half point, true I think. are we? Yeah. Can we change the more what was I saying? When we gonna ask the question? Right, Peter's get ready, questions One to ten? One, thirteen called Peter and you do
[Paul:] One
[speaker004:] One to what? Thirteen Ask some questions that One to thirteen me and Paul will Well I have got, at least you'll get some of these, these, these are all Christmas questions. Oh. Thirteen. Ruth's books, so she'll probably know all them Say the Father Christmas joke now. I don't know a Father Christmas, you do, you know Who says ho, ho, ho? Father Christmas. Father Christmas lying on his back.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Alright, O K, yes, I, I knew it would die so that's what I said, but
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] That one right [LAUGHTER] Right, in which pantomime would you find the following characters? Is this just number one?
[Kevin:] Number one, a character called, don't call out
[speaker004:] Don't call out.
[Kevin:] write it down, people here will be giving away your points, a character called Dandeanee... whisper it or write it down so that people can't hear, that's right. Everybody ready?
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Number two
[speaker004:] Mm, mm. right Yeah.
[Kevin:] A character, a cow sold for a bag of beans.
[speaker004:] Oh. Beans, beans. In what pantomime? Just one bean. No it's a sack of them. No, two. [LAUGHTER] No, you're quite right. Why? Because you said Because you told her number one, in what pantomimes are these characters? Are these characters, yeah. I got A, B We all thought it was all part of number one. Question two that was.
[Kevin:] Yes, number three.
[Joy:] I haven't had what question two is, what is it?
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] A cow sold for a bag of beans, what pantomime was that in, a cow sold for a bag of beans.
[speaker004:] Excuse me, as we're being recorded it is a pantomime
[Joy:] You're well informed then. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Oh yes. Pantomime, correction, pantomime [LAUGHTER] Can't we Pantomime Pantomime loved to be in a pantomime.
[Kevin:] Recorded all this?
[speaker004:] Yep.
[Kevin:] Oh dear oh dear, right
[speaker004:] Any
[Kevin:] a widow who runs a Chinese laundry...
[speaker004:] Is that the name of a thing?
[Kevin:] I'll give you one mark
[speaker004:] Yeah, but is that
[Kevin:] I want one mark for the pantomime and one mark for the character
[speaker004:] I was listen Of the what, just for number three?
[Kevin:] Yes, whenever I say.
[speaker004:] Right. [LAUGHTER] What you You have the whole class yelling at you, that ain't fair Mick... ...
[Kevin:] Number four.
[speaker004:] Can we have the first question again please?
[Kevin:] A character called Dandeanee, in what pantomime? Question number four, a very large white bird... in what pantomime? Whisper it, very quietly...
[speaker004:] Oh yes, well done...
[Kevin:] Question five, coming off the pantomimes now
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] what kind of fruit sauce is traditionally eaten with turkey? I know you know the answer to that one.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER] Karen's is the best in the world.
[Lisa:] But dad, are we, are we pantomime
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Yes, that was after the, you realize that was after the
[speaker004:] That, that was after
[Kevin:] I did say
[speaker004:] he did say that was after the pantomime. Off the pantomime.
[Kevin:] Number six... was the sending of Christmas cards introduced in the year eighteen forty six, eighteen forty eight or eighteen fifty.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Very So who can guess, come on who can guess? Can you read them out again please? I have the three
[Kevin:] Eighteen forty six, eighteen forty eight, or eighteen fifty... take a guess can't you or you have one in three chances... this is one I didn't know, who were the Magi?
[speaker004:] I hope you do know now.
[Kevin:] Yes I do know now.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER] What do you mean?
[Kevin:] Who were the Magi, what, who where they and I'll give you an extra mark for each one of their names, I didn't know they had any names.
[speaker004:] Who How could Magi's
[Kevin:] M A G I
[Paul:] I know
[Kevin:] Magi
[Paul:] I know two of them
[speaker004:] ... can't spell it... what's the third one called
[Kevin:] One mark if you could tell me who, who, what, who they were.
[speaker004:] What, what?
[Kevin:] One mark for each one of their names.
[Joy:] I don't know it at all.
[Kevin:] I won't blame
[speaker004:] I know two of the names the third, I do
[Kevin:] Ruth's got it right, I know.
[speaker004:] Can we get extra point
[Kevin:] I didn't know Yeah I know, but they're brilliant.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] in pairs are thought to be clever dicks, sorry.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] I did have Michael, but Oh is he? Yeah, he's If I could remember the third one, we'd get another point wouldn't we?
[Joy:] I bet he'd might of known that one.
[speaker004:] Can we, do we get points if we put down what they brought?
[Kevin:] No, no. Well that's right, give it away the first part of the question
[speaker004:] Ah?
[Kevin:] Question eight,
[speaker004:] Right,
[Joy:] Seven, oh no, eight.
[Kevin:] eight,
[Joy:] We missed seven.
[Kevin:] Where did Jesus, Mary and Joseph flee to when Herod decreed that all baby boys should be killed?
[speaker004:] You repeat that
[Kevin:] Where did Jesus, Mary and Joseph flee to
[speaker004:] Oh I know, I think
[Kevin:] when Herod decreed that all baby boys should be killed?
[speaker004:] Yes that right. Is it? Yeah. I think it's that.
[Kevin:] The bible.
[speaker004:] Is it Bethlehem?
[Kevin:] No, that was where he was born.
[speaker004:] We might catch up a bit here. Yeah, we might. If I could remember the name of the third wise man.
[Kevin:] Ready, question nine, these... the following lot I want you to fill in the blanks
[speaker004:] Fill in the blanks.
[Kevin:] Every time I say blank there's a word, right?
[speaker004:] Yeah. Kevin.
[Paul:] How many words in a blank?
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Somebody just gave it away.
[Paul:] Oh is this nine, ten and eleven
[Kevin:] I saw blank, blank come sailing by... I saw blank, blank
[Joy:] Which number is that? Which number is that?
[Kevin:] That's number nine, fill in the blanks. I saw blank, blank come sailing by... question ten... blank, blank but once a year...
[Joy:] What's that?
[Kevin:] Blank, blank, but once a year
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] once a year actually.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] I like, it is my favourite
[Joy:] It's something to do with
[Kevin:] Number eleven.
[Joy:] What was ten then?
[speaker004:] What
[Kevin:] Blank, blank but once a year
[speaker004:] something, something but once a year.
[Kevin:] Blank, blank, but once a year.
[speaker004:] Do you get two points if you get both words? [LAUGHTER] She
[Kevin:] I think it's gonna be split like that cos some people are gonna have one word perhaps [LAUGHTER], I don't know, I'll have to
[speaker004:] Good job
[Kevin:] I like number eleven, I like number eleven, all I want for Christmas is my blank front blank... think hard.
[speaker004:] Mine, that's happened to me, two weeks before. , hang on say it again.
[Kevin:] All I want for Christmas is my blank front blank.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Do Michelle?
[Kevin:] Oh come on Michelle, it's obvious
[Michelle:] I know
[speaker004:] The answer is that and that, not that. Yes, that's the answer.
[Kevin:] Now Michael should of been here for this one,
[speaker004:] Oh something to do with, about
[Kevin:] God Bless us everyone said blank, blank
[speaker004:] What Let him finish
[Kevin:] God Bless us everyone said blank, blank... yeah
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] God Bless us everyone
[speaker004:] How many years ago was that?
[Kevin:] said blank, blank.
[speaker004:] Hard one that innit? Oh somebody who said it? Yeah, yeah.
[Kevin:] God bless us everyone
[speaker004:] Michael said it.
[Kevin:] said blank, blank...
[speaker004:] I know, you should got that one.
[Eric:] Yes you should get that one
[Kevin:] blank, blank, did this.
[Joy:] We went for
[speaker004:] Mutty you went as well, you saw Michael play the part.
[Babs (aka Mutty):] Yes I did, he got up and said God bless us everyone
[Eric:] And Michael played it.
[speaker004:] Oh yes on the head wouldn't it?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] The only laugh I remember.
[Kevin:] Right last one.
[speaker004:] wasting his
[Kevin:] Yes.
[speaker004:] What was eight again, can you just
[Kevin:] Eight?
[speaker004:] Eight, question eight. Where does Mary and Joseph
[Kevin:] Where did Jesus, Mary and Joseph flee to when
[speaker004:] flee Oh yeah.
[Kevin:] Herod decreed that all baby boys should be killed?...
[speaker004:] We've had that haven't we? Yeah I know. That's all we've got
[Kevin:] The last one, the holly and the ivy now they are both blank, blank.
[speaker004:] We don't
[Kevin:] Holly and the ivy now they are both blank, blank.
[speaker004:] We've got a lot of right ones here. Ooh.
[Ruth:] I can't remember the name of the third wise man.
[speaker004:] Just remember what it is So if we get two of the wise men I'm glad you can't Ruth we get two points [LAUGHTER] I'm very glad you can't
[Joy:] It disappeared.
[speaker004:] I'll be silent as well
[Joy:] If these answers are right, you did very well.
[Ruth:] Right.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Answer to the first one.
[Kevin:] Here you are then.
[speaker004:] Really want one more wise man and we get full marks
[Kevin:] Are we all ready?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Yes
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Question number one, a character called Dandeanee.
[speaker004:] Cinderella Cinderella
[Joy:] Puss In Boots
[speaker004:] No it's Cinderella
[Kevin:] Cinderella
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Cinderella. Well done Joy you've got that one.
[Joy:] Yeah, I knew that was wrong
[speaker004:] Yeah
[Joy:] when I got the other.
[Kevin:] A cow sold for a bag of beans.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Jack and the Beanstalk
[Kevin:] Yes, one mark. A widow who runs a Chinese laundry
[speaker004:] Widow Twankey Widow Twankey with Aladdin
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Aladdin.
[speaker004:] Aladdin. Aladdin Aladdin
[Kevin:] If both you get two.
[Joy:] Oh yes.
[speaker004:] Yes. What's that? Oh right
[Kevin:] Mark for Aladdin, mark for Widow Twankey.
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] A very large white bird.
[speaker004:] Mother Goose. Mother Goose
[Kevin:] One mark.
[speaker004:] Ugly Duckling, that was a good guess Lisa. Mother Goose. No party pieces [LAUGHTER] What you Cranberry sauce cranberry sauce
[Kevin:] Good try though, hang on, hang on let me say the question first
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] What is the British sauce traditionally cranberry sauce
[Paul:] Cranberry sauce.
[Kevin:] Right, what, when was the sending of Christmas cards introduced?
[speaker004:] Give us, just give us, give us Forty eight
[Joy:] Eighteen forty eight
[speaker004:] Eighteen fifty
[Kevin:] It was eighteen forty six, eighteen forty six
[Joy:] Oh
[Kevin:] Nobody got, eighteen forty six.
[speaker004:] Who got it
[Kevin:] No one got it
[Joy:] I the middle one
[speaker004:] I, can I answer number seven please?
[Kevin:] Number seven, who were the Magi?
[speaker004:] Wise men.
[Kevin:] One mark for three, three wise men
[speaker004:] Wise men King Kings The three kings They get one for that, they
[Kevin:] Yeah, but they ain't got their names
[speaker004:] Yeah Melphor Beltravers
[Joy:] Oh shut up. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] and Casper. You've read that. I didn't. We did Casper, we get four for that
[Kevin:] All three yes,
[speaker004:] How many did we get four for that, four altogether for that, Ruth
[Joy:] And if you just have wise men?
[Kevin:] One Read this book didn't you?
[speaker004:] I didn't.
[Kevin:] She got all that on her own.
[speaker004:] Don't forget I'm
[Paul:] Egypt, Egypt
[Kevin:] Where did Jesus
[Lisa:] Ah, you missed one
[Kevin:] No I didn't, Egypt, where did Jesus, Mary and Joseph flee to, Egypt.
[Joy:] Oh we had that till
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] No.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Three ships.
[Lisa:] Three ships.
[Paul:] Three ships
[Lisa:] Three ships
[Kevin:] Three ships, one mark.
[speaker004:] Yeah. You get two for.
[Kevin:] No, no.
[speaker004:] Nothing.
[Kevin:] Number ten any wants
[speaker004:] Xmas Christmas comes
[Joy:] Comes but once a
[Kevin:] Christmas comes
[Joy:] Oh yeah.
[Kevin:] but once a year.
[speaker004:] So that's two for that is it?
[Kevin:] No one.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Christmas comes, you have blank, blank, two
[Joy:] You can give us two
[speaker004:] for
[Kevin:] No, unless someone's got just Christmas. [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Two front teeth.
[Kevin:] All I er
[speaker004:] No, no
[Kevin:] The answer is two teeth
[speaker004:] Two teeth
[Kevin:] not two front teeth
[Joy:] Cos I crossed it out.
[Kevin:] Not according to the judicator
[Paul:] That's what we put
[Joy:] Will somebody sing it.
[speaker004:] All I want for Christmas is my
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Two front teeth.
[Kevin:] Oh
[Paul:] Two teeth, two
[Kevin:] Yes, the answer is two teeth, alright, front, yeah O K.
[Joy:] Can I cross that
[speaker004:] I put front in brackets.
[Kevin:] Oh [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] That was one was it?
[Kevin:] One mark for all these yeah
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Tiny Tim, yes.
[Kevin:] Tiny Tim, yeah.
[speaker004:] I put little Tim
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] No, half, half, half.
[Kevin:] No nothing it's wrong.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Number thirteen holly and the ivy now they are
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Full grown
[speaker004:] Where'd you get that?
[Joy:] One, two, three, four, five Well
[speaker004:] Oh you, won't get the rest of these. Eighteen. Twelve. Fourteen How do you get fourteen? [LAUGHTER] Fourteen and nineteen and a half.
[Kevin:] Paul, thirty three and a half.
[speaker004:] Nineteen and a half. I'm really not with this you know [LAUGHTER] I'm not
[Lisa:] What did you get grandma?
[Joy:] Well
[speaker004:] What did you get? You get? Twelve.
[Kevin:] Ooh.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Ooh.
[speaker004:] fourteen Funnily enough we've got fourteen
[Kevin:] Fourteen so I can get it in
[speaker004:] Oh yeah you'll get your bonus Well
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] Not enough
[Kevin:] Not enough, is it?
[speaker004:] What you get mum, mum?
[Kevin:] I'll add them up for you.
[speaker004:] And there's another I think ours is thirty three and a half Ruth I think
[Joy:] What we got now then our, twenty nine isn't it?
[Kevin:] She's just adding them up, she'll call them out
[speaker004:] Paul's got twenty eight and a half, mum's got No, twenty eight and a half's not bad. thirty five It's not brilliant either. Oh done wrong. You thirty five mum? got forty one. Good god. We've got We're both thirty three and a half I think. Thirty three and a half? I think so, we're still lagging behind We're third Quite interesting though cos it's quite equal really
[Kevin:] More questions Number fourteen Christmas
[speaker004:] How many? Uncle, uncle why then you have some on for like
[Kevin:] Thanks Kev
[speaker004:] How many?
[Kevin:] stroppiness.
[speaker004:] How many? Quite rightly
[Kevin:] Questions please.
[speaker004:] What?
[Kevin:] Fourteen in this one.
[speaker004:] Fourteen. Ask some good ones Good game. Every time I've asked him to do anything in the last three days, I can't, working out the quiz.
[Kevin:] Right.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Shut up, right, number one
[speaker004:] Hang on... What's the logic of Yeah.
[Kevin:] This is a mixed bag of...
[Joy:] Oh Kevin isn't. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Number one, name Britain's largest wild mammal
[speaker004:] Largest
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] wild mammal.
[speaker004:] or sea
[Paul:] No sea is
[Kevin:] I'll give it to you, oh land on land, we don't want you confused.
[Joy:] Britain's largest wild mammal
[Kevin:] Wild mammal.
[speaker004:] I haven't got a clue, what do you think about that? I think I know this one. Whisper it. Hang on, er wild I'll come back on this one
[Kevin:] Scotland, there's a clue there.
[speaker004:] Could be. Oh I know what it is then. Mm. I think it's a Yeah who that? I don't know if you've heard of them Scotland, is it that, do they have those in Scotland?
[Paul:] may as well
[Kevin:] Word of warning, I'll give you a word of warning, I'll give you an extra mark for an absolute accuracy.
[speaker004:] There's two words in it aren't there?
[Kevin:] Yeah...
[speaker004:] Yeah Two marks for that for accuracy
[Joy:] Accuracy.
[Kevin:] Number two, here's one for mum, the dahlia is popular in Britain, from which country did it originate?...
[Eric:] Mutty might know this one as well.
[Kevin:] The dahlia, which country did it originate from?
[speaker004:] Gonna say anything else Eric?... Are you implying that it's not very long been in this country?
[Kevin:] No, been, quite a long dahlia
[Joy:] Dahlias were in my dad's days so
[speaker004:] No, but I mean in terms of hundred of years
[Joy:] Oh
[speaker004:] Oh yes, hundred of years. Yeah.
[Kevin:] Now then, next one, hurry up
[Joy:] Why couldn't you ask about tulips I could've told you about.
[Kevin:] Come on Bamber
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Come on Bamber get a move on.
[speaker004:] Oh here's one for mum, she'll get this one.
[Kevin:] Lyde is a seaside resort, where?
[speaker004:] I know that.
[Joy:] Oh, oh, oh, oh, [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Everybody gets them right you Even ages
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] I knew where was
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Yeah [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] You didn't get the question right though.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] Why I said dad, she said mum, he said mum will know I, said well he managed
[speaker004:] mum will go to the, the one of the
[Kevin:] No,
[Joy:] ah, that's why I said it. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Alright two if we're
[speaker004:] Dad wasn't that a bit simple?
[Kevin:] Number four.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Alright, what about this one, what is nix, what is nix?
[speaker004:] I know.
[Kevin:] N I X
[speaker004:] What? She sings with er, in Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Nix What is what?
[Kevin:] Nix.
[Joy:] you're asking for the comprehension of the word.
[Kevin:] Yeah what does it mean
[Joy:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] when someone says nix?
[speaker004:] You're nicked No that's N I C K S you're nicks, nicks. I, I thought, I was thinking of You want N I X
[Kevin:] Question five
[speaker004:] Oh I got it wrong then if What first then N I X. This is another word for this dictionary is it? [LAUGHTER] It means
[Kevin:] Number five, which coin ceased to be legal tender in August the first, nineteen sixty nine? Sorry about that over there
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Oh.
[Kevin:] Sorry about that over there
[Paul:] I know, I know.
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Nineteen sixty nine, August the first, nineteen sixty nine.
[speaker004:] Sorry what was the question again? Ceased to be legal
[Kevin:] Which coin ceased to be legal tender in August the first, nineteen sixty nine?
[speaker004:] Sixty nine. Might of been Probably, probably leave it, leave that No, that was before then. Eighteen. Yeah, probably about right, twenty two years ago.
[Kevin:] Right, next question
[speaker004:] That second one
[Kevin:] Come on I'm gonna hurry you.
[speaker004:] I'll put that down, cos I don't know.
[Kevin:] Right oh, number six, who is the goldies crew?
[speaker004:] Oh I know
[Kevin:] Who's the goldie crew?
[speaker004:] Erm Who are the goldie crew?
[Kevin:] Who are the goldie crew?
[speaker004:] Is the goldie crew?
[Kevin:] Who are
[speaker004:] No, what do they do, I know, First do you have to get it exact?
[Kevin:] Yes, yeah.
[speaker004:] Do you have to get it exact?
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Er, ah.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] I can be, be
[speaker004:] We had a quiz like this at work and our captain couldn't Yeah, but I don't know which team that I'm on?
[Kevin:] Who is and who are can make a difference.
[speaker004:] Yeah, Dad, what they do or
[Kevin:] Telling me what they do is, telling me what they do, is telling me what they are.
[speaker004:] Who is it?
[Joy:] The golden crew.
[speaker004:] I know. The golden crew
[Joy:] It wasn't Star Trek was it?
[Kevin:] Here's number eight. A yellow jersey is the coveted prize, in which sport?
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Oh I know that.
[speaker004:] Say that again.
[Kevin:] A yellow jer not the yellow jersey a yellow jersey, see a coveted prize in which sport?
[speaker004:] Andy will know that What number is that? Number seven is that?
[Kevin:] That was seven.
[speaker004:] Yeah, Andy knew that.
[Joy:] Oh, yes
[Paul:] Easy for us.
[Joy:] yes, I know it is dear.
[speaker004:] Why? Oh yes of course
[Kevin:] Number eight
[speaker004:] say which country
[Kevin:] Oh it's a good one, it is good, the Crucible is a venue for snooker contest, which city is it in?
[speaker004:] Oh. Mm.
[Kevin:] The Crucible.
[speaker004:] Is it?
[Kevin:] Snooker.
[speaker004:] What you gonna put? I was gonna put that. Sshh, mm You think it's the better one? I think you're right there Alright. It isn't Eric [LAUGHTER] when I out Eric?
[Eric:] I, I, I should be drummed out of the
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Here's a hard one, hard one coming up.
[speaker004:] I think that, I'm not sure.
[Kevin:] Number nine... you alright?
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] You alright brain boxes?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Yeah, they're such brain boxes especially they are
[speaker004:] they come up with so many answers they never know which one to pick.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Right, number nine, which sport world cup was hosted at Willesden in ninety eighty six? Which sport's
[speaker004:] Oh dear
[Kevin:] got it's own world cup, and it, this time it was hosted cap Willesden in ninety eighty six?
[speaker004:] Ninety eighty six, can't be. No. I don't know
[Joy:] No, I
[speaker004:] I'm not sure, but that sounds about right.
[Joy:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] I'll give a clue, lunch, lunch
[speaker004:] Yes. Lunch That's right isn't it Joy?
[Joy:] Oh well I should know both of what I say [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER], well what you say, I should and what I say, it won't
[Kevin:] That's for mum to know and you to guess.
[speaker004:] Why should you know?
[Paul:] Well we've got to guess why she said that.
[speaker004:] Alright, mum She's got to rack her brain through er Only the four I ever associate with
[Kevin:] Right number ten then, number ten...
[speaker004:] Perhaps you're right.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] If it's that hard I had it before you said that.
[speaker004:] Alright Did you?
[Kevin:] That's good, name the two fences which are only jumped once
[speaker004:] Only question
[Kevin:] in the Grand National, two fences
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Ooh
[speaker004:] Oh yes
[Kevin:] but they only go over once in the Grand National.
[Paul:] It's that really dangerous
[speaker004:] That's right. any help. Oh dear, I've
[Kevin:] I want two names I want two names
[speaker004:] Oh the other one's a water one.
[Kevin:] There's two names for two
[speaker004:] Yeah that one
[Kevin:] separate fences which are only jumped once
[speaker004:] I can't remember that one. Put that round the wrong way.
[Kevin:] Right, there's only one, there's only one person who's gonna know this, this question,
[speaker004:] That's me.
[Kevin:] little Paul, I think.
[speaker004:] Little Paul.
[Kevin:] Number eleven, The Tangerines are the nickname of which football club?
[speaker004:] Oh yes, think about it. What the proper nickname?
[Kevin:] No, I want the names
[Paul:] No, no, but is it the proper nickname on the
[Kevin:] Well I think so.
[Joy:] Alright, Eric knows.
[Kevin:] Well yes he might, yes, I could see why he would know, yeah.
[Joy:] Why? [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Yeah I can't, well I'd give it away.
[Paul:] Is it a proper nickname?
[Kevin:] Yes I think it is.
[speaker004:] Oh you want the nickname?
[Kevin:] No
[Joy:] No
[speaker004:] Oh.
[Kevin:] That's the nickname of the Tangerines
[speaker004:] Will you Yeah Sorry what's
[Kevin:] It's a nickname of a famous football club
[speaker004:] That's right, yeah. Oh the won't know that over there.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] No, maybe not, no. Andy won't know that. Write it down, I'm not sure. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Tangerine Paul'll know that.
[speaker004:] That's the only one I've got
[Joy:] It doesn't make any connection with
[Kevin:] I'll give you a clue, it's to do with their stripe.
[speaker004:] I know, but
[Kevin:] It might grow
[speaker004:] called eagle.
[Kevin:] Right, number twelve
[speaker004:] Number twelve.
[Kevin:] it's an easy one, what must ladies wear in the Royal Enclosure at Royal Ascot?
[speaker004:] Can we have two answers?
[Kevin:] It's alright you all know the answer now Thank you Eric. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] I knew it anyway.
[Kevin:] Well there's only one in
[speaker004:] But we did know it Eric.
[Eric:] Did you?
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Number thirteen, two more to go.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] This is a good one as well, which creature may be called
[speaker004:] That
[Kevin:] Bubbly Jocks in Scotland?
[speaker004:] Spell it.
[Kevin:] Bubbly Jocks
[speaker004:] The biggest mammal in the world
[Kevin:] Bubbly Jocks, J O C K S, Bubbly Jocks in Scotland
[speaker004:] Yeah. Creature?
[Kevin:] Which creature?
[speaker004:] Oh.
[Kevin:] It's called a Bubbly Jock
[speaker004:] Yeah, yeah. I've got
[Paul:] Is it a mammal or what?
[speaker004:] What was the question or please, sorry.
[Kevin:] I'll give you a clue, it's a bird Kev.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Oh.
[Kevin:] Which creature may be called a Bubbly Jock in Scotland? May be called.
[Joy:] it's a bird.
[speaker004:] It's a bird.
[Kevin:] I'll give you a little time for that one.
[speaker004:] Eagle. Kestrel.
[Kevin:] Last one
[speaker004:] why we didn't hear, what was thirteen.
[Kevin:] Thirteen, with which creature may be called a Bubbly Jock in Scotland?
[Paul:] How do spell that
[Kevin:] Bubbly Jock
[Paul:] second word?
[speaker004:] Cos it's a bird. It's a bird.
[Kevin:] J O C K S
[speaker004:] You were right about those two weren't you? Ha [LAUGHTER] You're right about you two, you are good.
[Joy:] They shouldn't have.
[speaker004:] You don't guess do you, they
[Kevin:] Last question... What term describes a group of ducks? A... of ducks, a... of ducks.
[Joy:] Oh it's a funny one isn't it?
[Kevin:] The something of ducks.
[speaker004:] No, really strange ducks. No, but I can't think what it is.
[Joy:] Not the no
[speaker004:] No, that's geese.
[Paul:] With duck, not geese.
[Kevin:] No, a... of ducks.
[speaker004:] You said it.
[Kevin:] Group name of ducks.
[speaker004:] I don't think it is that, but I don't know.
[Kevin:] Right, ready for answers?
[speaker004:] Yeah. I think it begins with
[Kevin:] Name Britain's largest known mammal?
[speaker004:] Loch Ness Monster Moose Lock Ness Monster Red Deer
[Joy:] Red Deer
[Kevin:] Red Deer, two marks
[speaker004:] Hooray we've got it.
[Kevin:] Deer one mark.
[speaker004:] Well my moose is a deer
[Kevin:] It's not moose
[Joy:] There aren't any mooses in this country. Canadian
[speaker004:] I thought a reindeer, but they're That's what I said aren't they? They used to be
[Kevin:] Right two, the dahlia what country?
[speaker004:] Japan
[Joy:] India
[speaker004:] India. Japan. Russia.
[Kevin:] Mexico.
[speaker004:] Oh Mexico Mexico Nowhere near it.
[Kevin:] Not a lot of people know that.
[speaker004:] No, we do now.
[Paul:] Everybody knows this one.
[Kevin:] Right, number three.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Isle of Wight.
[Kevin:] Isle of Wight.
[speaker004:] You did know Mutty
[Kevin:] One point
[speaker004:] you did know. One point, what Is that all? Isle of Wight
[Joy:] Yes.
[Andrew:] I though we would of got three, one for
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Good try Andrew.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] What is nix?
[speaker004:] Nothing.
[Kevin:] That's how many points you get [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Nothing.
[speaker004:] Nothing. Nil Nil, one point for nothing.
[Kevin:] Two for nothing.
[Joy:] Oh two for nothing.
[speaker004:] Two for nothing.
[Kevin:] That's the actual word, nothing to hand down for.
[speaker004:] Where did that come from? Nix, nicta, not is not German isn't it, nix, I don't know.
[Kevin:] Right, which coin ceased to be legal tender
[speaker004:] Threepence. Sixpence.
[Joy:] Threepence.
[speaker004:] Fifty P Earlier.
[Joy:] That sided hexagon.
[speaker004:] Half a crown, sixpence. Er, right, what is it?
[Kevin:] Old half penny.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Oh.
[speaker004:] What is it?
[Kevin:] Old half penny.
[speaker004:] No not half penny No you've got half a crown, you cheat.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Number six, who got six?
[speaker004:] Blackpool The Italian yacht The crew often
[Joy:] Oh, I'm sorry yes what
[speaker004:] it's a crew.
[Kevin:] Definitely one for that, it's the second crew, it's the reserved crew of Cambridge
[speaker004:] Crew in the box, I second crew oh look I got second crew, second crew
[Kevin:] You got second crew which is two
[speaker004:] in
[Kevin:] No, one mark.
[speaker004:] Is that all?
[Kevin:] You can't put both for that one
[speaker004:] That, it means nobody else Seriously, what was the question? [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Goldie crew.
[speaker004:] Goldie crew. I'm sorry that is mean I've got all the words All the words number seven. Precisely.
[Paul:] Dad you put
[speaker004:] You're so mean.
[Kevin:] The yellow jersey coloured
[speaker004:] Don't you dare give them two, one.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] One.
[Kevin:] it's not the Tour De France anyway
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Never, they never started
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Right, which sport's world cup was hosted at Willesden?
[Paul:] number eight.
[speaker004:] How about number eight, come on.
[Kevin:] Oh yes, so sorry.
[speaker004:] Oh yes. Sheffield.
[Paul:] Bournemouth.
[speaker004:] Sheffield.
[Paul:] Bournemouth.
[speaker004:] Sheffield.
[Kevin:] Sheffield.
[speaker004:] Yes, yes I thought it was Coventry [LAUGHTER] We even had Birmingham at
[Paul:] Bournemouth.
[Kevin:] Right which sport's world cup
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Swimming
[Paul:] Bowls, bowls.
[speaker004:] tennis
[Joy:] Tennis.
[speaker004:] Tennis. Ice skating.
[Joy:] Hockey.
[Kevin:] Hockey.
[speaker004:] Cricket. I said hockey.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] don't you?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Just remember next year, you do not put me in for
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] I think you'll win anyway.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] I had it written down Kev.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Er
[speaker004:] Number ten
[Kevin:] Right number ten, name the two fences which are only jumped once in the Grand National.
[speaker004:] Beechers Brook Beechers Brook
[Paul:] Beechers Brook
[speaker004:] the Chair
[Kevin:] What I got here, the Chair
[Joy:] Yes, of the Chair
[speaker004:] Oh yes.
[Kevin:] I got, that it's got, had water jump.
[Joy:] That's Beechers Brook
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Beechers Brook
[Kevin:] It had water jump.
[speaker004:] The only reason is, the only reason we got that right is that's the only two names of the fences we knew. Yeah.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Well we're all, all happy.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Right, number twelve, oh no, number eleven.
[speaker004:] Blackpool
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Blackpool
[Kevin:] Blackpool.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Tangerine.
[Paul:] I, I knew it was
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] I don't think we're gonna get any more points That's gold on this.
[Kevin:] Right
[Paul:] What
[Kevin:] Everybody ready?
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Joy:] That's twenty ahead I think [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Question one... name the first English printer.
[Lisa:] I know, I know
[Kevin:] Voice down.
[Lisa:] just done it in a project.
[speaker004:] Got it?
[Kevin:] I...
[speaker004:] Do we get two points for both names?
[Kevin:] christian name
[speaker004:] Thank you.
[Kevin:] Christian name and surname.
[speaker004:] Just done it. Yeah Two points for this
[Kevin:] I haven't got his christian name
[speaker004:] Ooh, you haven't got his christian name? Oh dear me.
[Paul:] I don't know both names
[speaker004:] . We can beat the quiz master.
[Kevin:] In which year did the great fire of London occur? Which year, I want the
[Joy:] Oh
[Kevin:] exact year...
[speaker004:] Are they all history questions?
[Kevin:] No.
[speaker004:] Oh no... Yes, something that this, this day and date that's in the...
[Kevin:] Right question three.
[speaker004:] Hold on.
[Kevin:] No one 'll get the answer to this, but I just wanna ask the question to this.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Did you add, did you add one question on the end that I would answer You can't be that dumb.
[Kevin:] Question three, who discovered Uranus in ninety seventy six?
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] I just wanted to say that question, so, who discovered Uranus in seventeen eighty one?
[speaker004:] Er Well you need to give us a clue or there's no point asking the question.
[Kevin:] W, H.
[speaker004:] William Holden.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] I dunno. Oh yeah.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Question four, I don't think, question four how many sides has the brass threepence, the old brass threepence?
[speaker004:] Oh dear. Easy...
[Kevin:] How many sides has the old brass threepence?
[speaker004:] Eight. I don't know in my life. Threepenny bit. I've got one at home Can't remember.
[Kevin:] I'll give you one mark for er the right answer and two
[speaker004:] Two for the wrong.
[Kevin:] two extra, two extra, no one extra, one extra for the exact
[speaker004:] You are enjoying this aren't you Kevin?
[Kevin:] What was the Silver Ghost?
[Paul:] I know dad
[Kevin:] I want, I'll give you two marks
[Paul:] Hang on.
[Kevin:] for the accurate.
[Paul:] I know
[speaker004:] Is it that?
[Paul:] what that is
[speaker004:] Eric was it that?
[Kevin:] Silver Ghost
[Eric:] I don't know.
[Paul:] It's that.
[Kevin:] Cos Adrian this is true to
[Paul:] Mum
[speaker004:] Was it that or was it a
[Paul:] Yes, yes you're right
[Kevin:] the answer's obvious but there's a little bit to it as well.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Someone can experiment
[speaker004:] You think it's one of those Yeah. You don't know any more? No.
[Paul:] That mean get three points if you get that right?
[Kevin:] No, it's two, you get one for the right answer
[speaker004:] Eric
[Kevin:] one more for
[speaker004:] do you think it was one of those? No, but he might of got it wrong you don't know that. that's right, well love what was the
[Kevin:] Number six.
[Joy:] no you're not supposed to tell people.
[speaker004:] keep picking up your answers
[Joy:] Yeah, it's your
[speaker004:] It always happens though.
[Kevin:] Why
[Joy:] losing, she only wants to show off.
[Kevin:] Why was Edward the black prince so called? Why was Edward the black prince
[Paul:] Oh I know.
[Kevin:] so called?
[speaker004:] I think I know.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[speaker004:] Could it of been? Could of been, yeah. Thanks Paul,
[Joy:] I hadn't seen the
[Kevin:] How do you tell the age of a horse?
[speaker004:] Oh that one Oh. Oh I was thinking of a tree [LAUGHTER] Oh I know.
[Kevin:] How do you, yes your
[speaker004:] By the br [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] your way
[speaker004:] Cut it half and count the rings. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] How do you tell the age of a horse? Question
[speaker004:] How Easy
[Kevin:] know that one. There's one for Mutty. What is a Blenheim orange? What is a Blenheim orange? Question nine. What is a coypu? A coypu.
[speaker004:] Oh I know.
[Kevin:] A coypu.
[speaker004:] Do we have to know exactly?...
[Kevin:] Well no...
[speaker004:] What
[Joy:] No, no...
[Kevin:] What is a coypu?
[speaker004:] Yes.
[Paul:] How's it spelt dad?
[speaker004:] C O Y
[Kevin:] C O Y P U. And no marks for the obvious answer here, question ten, what are the willies?
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Sshh.
[Kevin:] What are the willies?...
[speaker004:] Yeah, anybody want another? up to fourteen and then
[Kevin:] Number eleven.
[speaker004:] Number eleven.
[Kevin:] Name the famous golf club, and golf course at Virginia Water.
[speaker004:] Er... Yes.
[Kevin:] Name the famous golf club and course at the Virginia Water.
[speaker004:] Oh dear, oh dear. Oh yeah. Thank you everybody. [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] May I ask one?
[Kevin:] Number twelve, what is measured in Ells? E L L S.
[speaker004:] Why should I know, should I know particularly? You should know. Eh. Is it a volume or, or a
[Kevin:] Unit I suppose.
[speaker004:] I think it's a, I think it's a volume, but I don't know what it measures.
[Kevin:] What is measured in Ells?
[speaker004:] Do you mean the letter Ls, or No it's E L L S
[Kevin:] E L L S
[speaker004:] Not water then, not, not metres? Michael you can give your answer
[Michael:] Oh right.
[Kevin:] Right question thirteen, two more to go let's finish, question thirteen
[speaker004:] I think about ells, I haven't
[Kevin:] What was the name given to the tight trousers worn by teddy boys?
[speaker004:] It's more like Oh. Oh yes, we know that one. Tight trousers worn by teddy boys. Erm, can we write our erm
[Kevin:] You're trying to catch me
[speaker004:] You're an old smart you really are.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] Oh that's not fair, you're asking qu, no you ask questions I know from outside the quiz.
[Kevin:] Last one, easy question. What is a Friesian?
[speaker004:] Yes.
[Joy:] You know, you know.
[speaker004:] Right, does Michael want to have a number fifteen then? The same. Hang on, say that again.
[Kevin:] What is a Friesian?
[speaker004:] Friesian. A Friesian?
[Joy:] Yeah, but you can't do that, cos you're in the team.
[Kevin:] No you. No cos you're
[speaker004:] Order. She was, she's not with us she said. Go. Go on then. Enlighten us. Enhance us with Yeah. What did Kevin Cosner play, what's his name? Eh? Say that again. What? What character, the character that Kevin Cosner played in Dances With Wolves, haven't got a clue, this is not fair cos you're making us fall further behind if we don't know the answer And then there is B to it, what? No, that'll have to be number sixteen.
[Paul:] Oh I seen the film
[Kevin:] No alright, we've just
[Michael:] Can I just do one more then? I just
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] No.
[Michael:] I just want to do, who invented the toilet?
[speaker004:] That, do I know the answer to that, William Crapper.
[Michael:] No it wasn't
[speaker004:] I know.
[Michael:] It was Thomas Crapper.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] How many was fourteen or fifteen? Alright number one.
[Kevin:] Right, answers, question one
[speaker004:] William Capstan. William Capstan. Oh yeah. Yes,
[Kevin:] Well you know William you can have two points I, I believe you.
[speaker004:] favouritism.
[Kevin:] In which year did the great fire of London take place?
[speaker004:] Seventeen ninety three Sixteen sixty six. Sixteen sixty two. Yeah.
[Kevin:] Very good.
[speaker004:] Seventeen ninety three.
[Kevin:] Very good.
[speaker004:] The year after the plague Sixteen sixty five was the plague
[Joy:] I didn't know the year of the plague [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Sixteen sixty six was the year of
[Kevin:] No one answer, no one you
[speaker004:] Yeah, Wilhelm Ulasey.
[Kevin:] No William Hurschell.
[speaker004:] We've put five question marks
[Kevin:] Ah?
[speaker004:] We've got five question marks.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Number four, how many sides has a brass threepenny bit?
[speaker004:] Twelve. Eight. Twelve. Twelve.
[Kevin:] Twelve it is.
[speaker004:] Twelve.
[Joy:] Oh six one side, six the other.
[speaker004:] Oh. No it isn't, it's twelve all the way round shape
[Kevin:] All the way round, who's got one?
[Paul:] I got that.
[Kevin:] Who's got one?
[speaker004:] You got that? Yeah.
[Kevin:] Adrian what
[speaker004:] Got a lot more than you think.
[Kevin:] what was the Silver Ghost?
[speaker004:] Rolls Royce.
[Adrian:] Rolls Royce motor car.
[speaker004:] It's a figurine of the women.
[Kevin:] Rolls Royce one point
[speaker004:] And it's the figurine of the women Phantom. Something about the Silver Ghost
[Paul:] Dad, it's the Silver Shadow
[Kevin:] I, it isn't
[speaker004:] No.
[Kevin:] Phantom. You've one mark for Rolls Royce you get two, an extra mark for saying Rolls Royce first model.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Oh.
[Kevin:] ... number six.
[speaker004:] It was also that figurine of the women Was was based on
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Really?
[Joy:] No you can't have another point. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Cos we went to
[Kevin:] Why was Edward the Black Prince so called?
[Paul:] Cos he wore black armour.
[speaker004:] Cos the black death happened in his reign.
[Joy:] He had black armour.
[Kevin:] Black armour, colour of his armour is black.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Oh, very good.
[speaker004:] You got that one Joy. Very good.
[Joy:] A little guess
[speaker004:] How much we get for that? Michelle knew number seven, I saw I think we're, I think we're falling behind here. Falling behind here.
[Kevin:] Who's got number eight?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Apple
[Kevin:] Apple, one mark.
[speaker004:] I remember that.
[Kevin:] Number nine, what is a coypu?
[speaker004:] A wolflike animal.
[Kevin:] Rodent.
[Joy:] Rodent, yes, we got that.
[Kevin:] A rodent, yes
[speaker004:] You said, we didn't have to be exact.
[Paul:] Say that again mum.
[Kevin:] Animal, that's not good enough
[Paul:] Mum, mum
[speaker004:] I said how exact do we have to be.
[Kevin:] Point two five.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Called again?
[speaker004:] Michelle I said, you didn't say if that was an animal, I was
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Ha, a six pack of coypu
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] No, no, don't wash, don't wash.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Right, number ten, what are the willies?
[speaker004:] Islands
[Michael:] Depression, depression.
[Kevin:] Nerves The nerves.
[speaker004:] We put depression.
[Joy:] Well that I've got the willies that's what
[Kevin:] I think I'll give that.
[speaker004:] losing.
[Kevin:] Yes, I'll give that.
[Joy:] You know where that comes from you know that women in white, that's written by Willy.
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Joy:] No, Wilky Collins wrote that.
[speaker004:] Oh Wilky Collins. [LAUGHTER] Willy Collins It's like you say, someone gives me the willies.
[Joy:] That's right, yeah.
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Joy:] Yeah, I thought of that but I didn't think that could be right.
[Kevin:] Right, number eleven who got the famous gold course
[speaker004:] Collindale
[Kevin:] Wentworth.
[speaker004:] Yes. We did What is it? Erm
[Kevin:] One mark for that man What is measured in ells?
[speaker004:] Material Water.
[Kevin:] Very good.
[speaker004:] What did she say?
[Kevin:] Lengths of cloth.
[speaker004:] Oh lengths of cloth. How did you know that?
[Joy:] I heard it somewhere, I, I
[speaker004:] do it in feet and inches. You know where I have heard it from, it's from work, because er they do, they do lengths and stuff and Really, oh. and I knew I'd
[Kevin:] Right, who got thirteen then?
[speaker004:] Drain pipes
[Kevin:] Drain pipes is
[Joy:] Drain pipes, yeah
[Kevin:] Drain pipes.
[speaker004:] What? I didn't say that did I?
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] I tell you what I guarantee Karen wouldn't have known the answer to the next one if she hadn't known me.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Right.
[speaker004:] The mind boggles.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] What is a Friesian?
[Paul:] A cow
[Joy:] A cow
[Kevin:] A cow.
[Joy:] You can say old Friesian you.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michael:] Hey, I won.
[Kevin:] Add them all up.
[speaker004:] I thought he said Friesian.
[Joy:] Karen, I think you out on that.
[speaker004:] What you get?
[Paul:] Eight.
[speaker004:] Eight. Thirteen. Oh. Oh they're cheating.
[Joy:] Eight.
[speaker004:] No they won, we came last.
[Paul:] No we equalled them though.
[speaker004:] I don't know, probably I get one more. You'd better give the prizes, I'll have the.
[Eric:] I vote that And Andy and Karen don't play together any more.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Kevin said they'll win. You said that's why they don't need three people in their team. Dad what about the prizes?
[Andrew:] Right, I don't, I mu, I must say I don't think I would of won without Karen, she got most of them, I was writing them down most of the time.
[Michael:] Someone, oh someone's taken the prizes, disappeared, dad.
[Kevin:] What, someone's eaten them.
[speaker004:] Karen can't have chocolate
[Karen:] Who said I can't?
[Kevin:] I love Ferrero Roche
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER] I thought I'd won after the Kevin I thought, I thought I'd won after the third round so I ate them.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Do like Ferrero Roche.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Jolly nice if it was on. Turn your light on Michael.
[Kevin:] I'll put the kettle on.
[speaker004:] the sandwiches aren't made yet, I don't know why. I'm sure, well done mate. Hang on is this. Anybody want to have a look at
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] Yeah. I've forgotten what it looks like. I've got one at home, but I've much nicer. Don't you remember using the Yeah. cos
[Joy:] Gosh aren't they tiny
[speaker004:] What's that? A threepenny bit. That's a threepenny bit I've never seen that You know the first time I came in this country cos it was not decimal yet Oh yeah.
[Kevin:] Didn't they have character those coins.
[Joy:] Yeah, but I can't sides than that.
[Paul:] Yeah gran because of the fifty pence piece.
[Joy:] Yeah, yeah.
[Kevin:] Remember those?
[speaker004:] No, I've never seen
[Joy:] Can you, now there's twelve countries in the E E C, can you tell me what they are?
[speaker004:] That's the the four colours, used to be on the Er
[Joy:] Twelve of them, but I can't work out
[speaker004:] Holland, Belgium, Luxembourg Er, let's start from the top, there's Holland, Belgium, Luxembourg, Italy, Spain Spain France France Germany
[Joy:] Greece
[speaker004:] Greece. Greece Greece
[Joy:] England if
[speaker004:] Ireland.
[Kevin:] Ireland.
[speaker004:] No Ireland is Eire Oh yes, and Twelve Where's the other two, is Denmark in it?
[Kevin:] Put them down there love
[speaker004:] Denmark
[Kevin:] just for a joke.
[speaker004:] Sweden has applied, but they're not in yet I don't know if Denmark
[Joy:] I'm not sure if Denmark
[speaker004:] Cos Den
[Joy:] Didn't they come out, Denmark were going
[speaker004:] They have their own little grouping and I, how, how do you make twelve, there are twelve in there now
[Joy:] Yes, I know there are twelve
[speaker004:] well who are the other ones then? Twelve what? Twelve countries in the E E C. Oh It's your Can you Can you name the twelve?
[Joy:] You see.
[speaker004:] How about Portugal? Well what about Portugal?
[Joy:] Portugal of course.
[speaker004:] No it's not. Yes it is, well
[Joy:] Portugal's in it,
[speaker004:] Yes. Well it's in the process of Spain.
[Joy:] Oh, I know that er, Austria Austria and Sweden Austria and Sweden are I'm surprised Austria wasn't in it anyway. Oh no, photographs.
[Kevin:] Are we now?
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Joy:] I think, oh I don't know. Is it getting cold, oh my feet are getting cold. Well these are warm
[Kevin:] Well that's open that's why.
[Joy:] The others were perfectly alright, but they've just worn out, do you like these?
[speaker004:] Has someone got a? No. Where, the spare were given to the children. Who wants a Ferrero Roche?
[Michael:] Dad, dad.
[speaker004:] half of mine. Who wants a Ferrero Jacque? Adrian, cos I know you do [singing] Ferrero Jacque, Ferrero Jacque, dormez vous []. He's got one. I've had, I've had Karen's. Who wants one?... I've got one.
[Joy:] You've had one?
[speaker004:] Who hasn't got one? No I don't want one thank you. Who hasn't got one? oh well, ha... A hundred and seventy five Cor I
[Joy:] I didn't think these were so good in their
[speaker004:] How many. Yeah, I got about half Well we got other things, we've got to drop the kids off skating Oh I see Yeah. And take the car back. Take the car back to you, cos they're off tomorrow
[Joy:] use it tomorrow morning and
[speaker004:] Sorry?
[Joy:] Got to use it for the paint.
[speaker004:] No I ain't. No he isn't.
[Joy:] Oh.
[speaker004:] It's not insured He was originally, when he was doing the
[Joy:] December the second.
[speaker004:] No. No, it runs out at twelve o'clock tonight. Oh does it? I think, now you say that, it's probably twelve o'clock tomorrow. Well I even say the originally, he was going to come over with Robert stuff
[Joy:] Mm.
[speaker004:] Now
[Joy:] Oh yeah I see
[speaker004:] with this Molly lady. How you getting back This afternoon
[Kevin:] Er one minute past midnight on the second of December.
[speaker004:] Oh that's alright, today's the thirty first... tomorrow's the first.
[Kevin:] No, tomorrow's the second...
[speaker004:] Is there a birthday today? No.
[Kevin:] No, it's the second tomorrow.
[speaker004:] Second tomorrow. So it just runs out past midnight tonight. on the second... it's the, it's the first today isn't it?
[Kevin:] No, a minute past midnight on the second.
[speaker004:] They don't have to be that
[Kevin:] Right, so other words one A M on the second that's right.
[speaker004:] ... Well you really want it don't you? Mm. You really want it really... and er I'm How you getting back from Joy and tonight? Carole's picking me up. Are they? Carole's picking me up, oh she'll pick me, yeah, but we've got to go to Epsom anyway... so we'll go pick up Carole's car and Yes I only opened it, cos I want Angie to come over to help bring the food over, cos we've only got the one little car, Yeah. and if the food and the drink to come over Yeah. well
[Michael:] Uncle Adrian
[Adrian:] Yeah.
[Michael:] Do you want, do you want the
[speaker004:] You're more likely to drop something. Anybody want to see the one with the? Jill can come over about There, er nineteen Nineteen fifty two, that's the older one. that Pick up the food and drink, it's, it's all be at our house, van stopped to get the drink on and the glass
[Kevin:] Paul, the coin shop?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] I've got old sixpences here and before nineteen twenty,
[speaker004:] Ma, ma Saw the content in them Joy, you must ring up Jerry about the
[Joy:] Yes,
[Kevin:] There's one there, nineteen, nineteen, the other one nineteen sixteen.
[speaker004:] I think the oldest one we've got is something like... got us a Roman coin, they. We never recall one thing. I never ever buy but they Oh thank you. I recorded three full tapes and then the head was slurry Ooh. everybody slurry plays Some places it's perfect and other places it's slurry. Have you tried to record? Yeah. Dad, you've only got one of them. Radio.
[Michael:] Mum.
[speaker004:] Yeah, I, I You rest you've got loads of I have some lovely tunes I have No, it's very complicated but there used to be a no in places it's so slurry, it's almost slowed down... mind you, I think Arthur will have plenty done.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[speaker004:] There's one thing about it, only been a year old the heating is in good condition, you're warm in there. It's only a year old that? Yes. No, you're this is a new one. Oh it's been out there longer than a year though. No, is it longer than a year? Yeah, mm.
[Joy:] Too much exercising.
[Kevin:] Well it's the same age as Waitrose isn't it?,
[speaker004:] I would then say yes. Before that. Before that I would say... How old do you think it is then? Well it's Well I think a, they, knock, had to knock down the old brown hall Yeah build Waitrose Yeah they must before that they moved them out five or six years. Oh not as much as Joy it's not five or six years old is it?
[Joy:] About two or three I think.
[speaker004:] I would say two, three, yeah, probably three I'll say
[Joy:] Mm
[speaker004:] cos I I saw
[Joy:] It's been a year practically hasn't it?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] it's been finished, so it was, I would say I was going to town. Where do you play badminton, upstairs?
[Joy:] No, downstairs in the front.
[speaker004:] ... we're in the back are we?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[speaker004:] When you see the all attractive with... What do top scoring then Eighty. eighty. Narcissi smell strong Joy?
[Joy:] Pardon?
[speaker004:] The narcissi smells strong. They always do don't they?
[Joy:] It must be coming your way, it's not coming here.
[speaker004:] No I can't smell it. Were you here on the day your Joy?
[Joy:] No, I didn't, I said
[speaker004:] Why'd you We
[Joy:] Did you, yeah.
[speaker004:] There are a lot of
[Joy:] I mean that erm, I don't like, what's that called Yes,
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Joy:] and erm, marigold erm, eh comes from Africa.
[speaker004:] Oh by the way Adrian my
[Adrian:] Yeah, yeah, mine's going along quite nicely too and my, I've taken some er cuttings and they're popped up this week
[speaker004:] Oh yeah.
[Adrian:] and er that plant you gave me, whatever it's called, is er growing extra leaves
[speaker004:] Oh yeah.
[Adrian:] left, right and centre.
[speaker004:] Wow, you He's training Andrew,
[Andrew:] Mm.
[speaker004:] Andrew got some wonderful flowers on here, Well two years ago I did, but I didn't have any last year, two years ago it was a beautiful flower
[Joy:] Well last year we moved it out into the gardens.
[speaker004:] Yeah... mind you it's coming again now.
[Joy:] Oh, it might be something to do with the.
[speaker004:] The original It's something to do with the genes I think. Oh, you can find out.
[Joy:] Ours have even doubled that ours
[speaker004:] wasn't it? That was when?
[Joy:] A bit straggly in comparison to ours isn't it Eric?
[Eric:] Oh dear.
[Joy:] Oh that will come on the
[speaker004:] Look at that one we had Erm, when all the flowers are gone do you feed it?
[Joy:] Well you just leave it alone don't you?
[Eric:] What?
[speaker004:] After the flowers are gone, do you leave it?
[Eric:] Oh I leave it alone once the flowers are gone, I
[Joy:] Put it outside and that's it.
[Eric:] put it outside.
[speaker004:] Couldn't. Yeah, but you can't put it outside.
[Joy:] Well in the greenhouse if it's
[speaker004:] Oh, mm.
[Eric:] Yes, I won't touch it after the flowers have gone
[Joy:] Cos it, it, it really is a miserable looking flower in the, in the winter
[speaker004:] I started
[Eric:] Did you?
[speaker004:] Yeah. Again A little er fish, fishes... Mm. Do you
[Kevin:] Tropicals?
[speaker004:] No No No Goldfishes
[Kevin:] Oh right
[speaker004:] How's your funny one? What funny one? The black one? Black one She's alright, I think so. Yeah,. Is she alright? Yeah. The other one keep The other one bullies him a bit The other one bullies him though does he? There's still some though I mean the way he chase round the edge [LAUGHTER] chase round the bowl Not male and female are they? What with [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] What happened to Julie? Oh not until about one o'clock. Oh, the neighbour rang me up and said by the way she'll be a bit late Er, mm, well, definitely a bit later. It's alright, erm, want to sit down yet Paul? Our lock is still no then.
[Paul:] Yes.
[speaker004:] Yes, I'll shall have to go and see at the traffic and find out what's gone wrong. I really need to hang on to the key, is that alright? If I hang on to the key? We'll take it back tonight, if I hang on to that and put it away in the garage and hang on to the key so I can get the right, the right lock
[Kevin:] this morning, and then the key, the key wouldn't work in the lock.
[speaker004:] Oh dear.
[Kevin:] ...
[Joy:] So when, when you going to send
[Kevin:] The mind boggles. Tuesday
[Joy:] Tuesday
[Kevin:] at one o'clock.
[Joy:] what you go in Karen's car?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Joy:] It's not worth extending your hours cos you might get one any minute
[Kevin:] No... we can manage with one car, bus or walk
[Joy:] Our bus service is pretty good now though
[Kevin:] The two one three is marvellous
[Joy:] yeah, I get, you know, walk to Bognor and then, never have walked back.
[Kevin:] Karen couldn't believe I got back so quickly the other day.
[Joy:] Mm.
[Paul:] Dad
[speaker004:] one of those.
[Joy:] Eight or ten minutes is all you usually wait though if you
[Kevin:] Well I didn't even wait that long.
[Joy:] No, came along
[Kevin:] Erm, when was the last time I caught a bus from you?
[speaker004:] Paul
[Joy:] Friday.
[Eric:] He'll be in favour with your dad won't he because I went, I, I
[Kevin:] I got a, I went, I, I walk down
[Joy:] No Thursday
[Kevin:] the bottom of the road
[Joy:] yeah
[Kevin:] across the road and took my cigarettes out, out my pocket to light up a cigarette and a bus came round the corner so I put it back again.
[speaker004:] Is it Marks' , they Marks' ? Yes, to Are those Marks' ? No. No.
[Joy:] No Tudor Williams
[speaker004:] Tudor Williams Oh, Marks's have got a whole range of them as well.
[Kevin:] No, but you can get, you can you can get, you can get to Wickham Avenue, the other end of Wickham Avenue from that.
[speaker004:] A very nice shopping yeah big one.
[Kevin:] Yeah
[speaker004:] I think British
[Kevin:] I've caught some, where I'd caught a bus to you, if, remember when I was decorating the flat? Walk down Wickham Avenue and catch a bus at the end of the road...
[speaker004:] What bus is it?
[Kevin:] Four O six is it?
[speaker004:] Oh is it, the four O six?
[Kevin:] No, no, it's a red bus.
[speaker004:] A red bus or
[Kevin:] I can't remember
[speaker004:] My one
[Kevin:] but it stopped outside the baths.
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] You can get to us, you can get on at the ba, at the baths and it comes up past Park and you get off, you get off at the end of Wickham Avenue
[Joy:] No it's the two nine three
[Eric:] How you going to
[Kevin:] That's it
[Joy:] I can tell you.
[speaker004:] Yes you did Joy. Oh yeah. As many services as possible
[Eric:] I mean fancy expecting me to go by tube
[Joy:] Two nine three
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Joy:] It stopped outside erm...
[Kevin:] The two nine three's every half hour.
[Joy:] Is it every half hour, as as that?
[Kevin:] I think so, yeah, Cos I looked at the timetable, I looked at the timetable when I, when I caught it over there, it was on time too.
[speaker004:] And the ninety three, I'll always remember Yeah.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Kevin:] You can catch a ninety three from Alison's to us
[Eric:] What rubbish.
[Kevin:] the ninety three comes to us...
[speaker004:] Yeah, instead of walk right round nearly up to the What's this
[Kevin:] What Wimbledon station? Yeah, cos the ninety three comes to the bottom of the as well.
[speaker004:] Does it?
[Joy:] Not the ninety three, two ninety three, ninety three finishes
[Kevin:] No, the ninety three comes to Wickham Avenue as well.
[Joy:] I thought it finished at North, er North Cheams.
[Kevin:] It comes off at North Cheams and goes down Church Hall Road, and up Priory Road, till it the end of Avenue
[Joy:] Oh, I see, that end
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Joy:] I'm thinking it going from
[Kevin:] Yeah, well I used to, I used to when I used to go.
[speaker004:] Very good. You ever see that
[Joy:] They
[speaker004:] No not his, but another one.
[Joy:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] and held his finger in a for three hours
[Eric:] Ooh, held his finger there
[speaker004:] and surgeons battled to save his life... ...
[Kevin:] I don't think Baker's been a very good Home Secretary.
[speaker004:] He's a bit of a flapper isn't he?
[Kevin:] He flaps a bit, he always
[Joy:] He covers it up well, I never been as things wrong
[Kevin:] He moves too late, I think
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] And then he fires from the hip while
[Kevin:] Yeah then he fires from the hip and doesn't far too strongly.
[speaker004:] It was a bit of a Yeah...
[Kevin:] I don't think he's good at the job at all.
[Joy:] Well I don't know, I think he's covered up he's not good for a long time, I didn't know he was that bad.
[Kevin:] What's that?
[speaker004:] Er, table.
[Eric:] [LAUGHTER] who was doing, who was erm Secretary before him?
[speaker004:] ...
[Joy:] Did you want any help?
[speaker004:] Nope, we're alright
[Kevin:] So you tell my that are frightfully posh drive, he comes in backwards [door bell] oh who's that?
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER] It feels colder out there, I don't
[Joy:] I felt cold, I feel it's got colder definitely Sorry.
[speaker004:] Oh. Two little piggies
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Oh, [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] that's what they used to do when they were young [LAUGHTER] I always made two cakes.
[Kevin:] Well which one's, well this one's Karen's, the one with the piggy on it
[speaker004:] Piggy
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Yeah.
[Karen:] You take great delight on that don't you?
[Kevin:] No.
[Joy:] I only did two pigs
[Kevin:] No
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER] []
[Michael:] Which one's mum?
[Karen:] Which one
[Kevin:] The pink one
[Karen:] do you think is mum?
[Kevin:] the pink one is mummy
[Michael:] Oh the
[Kevin:] the one with the piggy on it.
[Karen:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michael:] The is that, is that actually
[Joy:] It's one of fudge and one of
[Kevin:] [singing] Happy birthday to you []
[Joy:] one of sponge and one of fruit one.
[Karen:] believe that
[Joy:] and they all like the fruit one best
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Joy:] of course and they always wanted to Isn't that nice?
[Karen:] Mm.
[Joy:] No, no I know he doesn't do them does he?
[Karen:] Who made that?
[speaker004:] Who's the Pink I suppose is Karen isn't it?
[Joy:] Yes of course pink is Karen
[speaker004:] Pig for Karen.
[Joy:] Pig for Karen [LAUGHTER]
[Karen:] Thank you dad for being so serious
[speaker004:] What, it's a lovely idea
[Karen:] for me.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] I thought it was you I would, I wouldn't call you a pig at all. I thought it was a [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] I think that's the way I [LAUGHTER] pig.
[Eric:] Karen if you go and sit on that seat over there then, come on
[Karen:] Oh alright
[speaker004:] Oh no it isn't alright, I've got a bone
[Joy:] sit next to Karen [LAUGHTER] and warm up [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Now you can't always
[Kevin:] It's a long way to have one
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michael:] I think dad must of...
[Kevin:] You alright, a couple of there?
[speaker004:] Yes, that's fine for Eric for a while. Change places
[Eric:] I quite like sitting on especially to eat.
[speaker004:] Well I do actually Do you?...
[Kevin:] Seventeen ninety three?
[Michael:] That was a wild guess
[Kevin:] Cor, strewth Seventeen ninety three for the great fire of London.
[speaker004:] That's when the fire brigade arrived.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Yeah, that's when the fire brigade arrived. Paul, I had eighteen something
[Joy:] Thank you
[Kevin:] You didn't?
[speaker004:] Yes I did
[Michael:] Mine was a guess, I didn't know.
[speaker004:] We just had a, we didn't know did we? No.
[Kevin:] What's query what's query, query, query, query, query, query.
[speaker004:] Query queen You didn't know that If you'd ask me to Battle of Hastings, I'd know that one You alright? it's the only date I did remember from school
[Joy:] Do you know it twenty to six... we played that for about two hours was it?
[speaker004:] Time goes doesn't it? Thank you What was the question for number seven? He's got down wearing on his what's that? I think Brian Adams is Everything I Do isn't it? Oh I see.
[Michael:] Er, mum what are you doing?
[speaker004:] That'll be a good game trace, guess the questions from the, from the answers.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Not much questions. Number nine a gun, what the hell's nine?
[Karen:] I don't know, I didn't hear the erm correct
[speaker004:] Kev
[Kevin:] What?
[speaker004:] you're right about that as well, not much used at all. [LAUGHTER]
[Michael:] Mum where do I, where's sitting?
[speaker004:] She's reading Kev so you can say anything you like now. No you can't she's listening now. [LAUGHTER]
[Karen:] Anybody that hasn't got a plate take it.
[speaker004:] Yeah. Sorry.
[Michael:] Are we
[speaker004:] What was number one? Yes.
[Karen:] Paul.
[Paul:] ...
[Joy:] I thought you do this
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER] You know what he had for nix?... Knickers Knickers.
[Joy:] Oh I see
[speaker004:] Eric, Eric
[Eric:] What?
[speaker004:] I thought you do this done it. I've done it Oh. Sometimes I don't do things ... Horn don't it?
[Eric:] No, blackberries.
[speaker004:] What do you have horns for? Yeah What's
[Joy:] What dear? Yeah, er, I sa, thought Eric would knock some here, but no, I mean
[speaker004:] I mean what's Bournemouth colours? Dunno. What's Bournemouth colours Paulie? red and white stripe
[Paul:] It's red and black
[speaker004:] Red and black.
[Paul:] What do mean,wha,wha what's Bournemouth?
[speaker004:] You had Bournemouth.
[Paul:] That's what I put the I thought the
[speaker004:] Oh.
[Paul:] clue was in Bournemouth.
[Joy:] Sheffield
[speaker004:] That one. We had Sheffield... do you have tea? I knew he'd have
[Paul:] was wearing tangerine.
[speaker004:] Never put
[Paul:] What's the difference between gold and tangerine?
[Karen:] Go on
[speaker004:] Mind you, I think, it's a bit unfair on Paul here cos
[Karen:] Where, they wanted
[Paul:] I know, I know now, the minute he said that.
[speaker004:] Oh isn't it terrible? Oh isn't it terrible that?
[Joy:] Oh.
[speaker004:] Wasn't it awful?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] A little tiny it was. until she wouldn't lose, do what they exactly Yeah, she had all the money He said my father can have it, he can do, have it, I only want money for my charity, and of course then there was
[Paul:] You can't keep your eye on every single player in the league.
[speaker004:] Taking on
[Paul:] You've got your eye on the goalie
[speaker004:] Yeah I know. Cos the scorer alright, erm, have defended themselves
[Paul:] But he couldn't make it more horrible Mum,
[speaker004:] Mind you we shouldn't
[Paul:] Mum
[Karen:] Who's sandwich out here, there's you,
[speaker004:] That's our biggest mistake
[Karen:] Nan
[speaker004:] just when are you
[Karen:] Andy, Michelle, Michael, Paul, Ruth and Kevin
[speaker004:] Who's that new player we've got our eye on? Kevin, third division
[Paul:] I'll do him.
[speaker004:] That's er beef and tomato and turkey and cranberry
[Eric:] Oh.
[Karen:] Yeah, that's it...
[speaker004:] Penny for them penny for them.
[Joy:] Oh you
[Karen:] Yeah I got one
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Beef and tomato, turkey and cranberry, Turkey and cranberry oh or and cress
[Karen:] I haven't got turkey and cranberry
[speaker004:] Oh isn't it?
[Karen:] Who'd like turkey and cranberry?
[speaker004:] It's bubble drops and cranberry. Bubble drops and cranberry?
[Karen:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] What the bleeding bubble drops? I don't like you any more, they're all English Kevin, Kevin questions. [LAUGHTER] I'll believe Kevin questions. Ah, thank you.
[Karen:] Paul was
[speaker004:] Bubble drops eh? Bubble drop. Don't you talk to me like that. [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Arsenal are too strong for Tottenham.
[speaker004:] Yeah. Er Two nil.
[Paul:] Two nil.
[speaker004:] Ian Wright again, oh.
[Karen:] I've got to go and fresh bubble drop.
[Paul:] No, that's my
[speaker004:] Thank you.
[Joy:] Everybody will laugh. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Karen can't do the catering if
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] one chance in ninety minutes.
[Karen:] Causing the
[speaker004:] Yeah
[Karen:] in Sainsbury's...
[speaker004:] Oh dear. A woman of previous good character...
[Joy:] Ruth always makes lovely sandwiches.
[speaker004:] So you say.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Karen:] Kevin buttered the bread...
[speaker004:] I hoped to
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] I hope you give all the crusts to the hungry ducks?
[Karen:] No.
[speaker004:] Should do
[Joy:] They always look neat and perform mine don't
[Karen:] I in the garden and Kevin told me off
[speaker004:] Oh... well would love
[Karen:] I would get here Paul, Paul
[speaker004:] Erm Can you get it in the bag?
[Joy:] Well, it's Sunday, but it's not until next week is it?
[Eric:] They were so hungry the dogs.
[speaker004:] Those rotten dogs. Ruth. The gulls came do come down and pinch it in front of them. Was it? Well the So hungry they are. That would be alright till next week, if you put it in the fridge. The radio was But you can't stop The only thing you can do is to quiet him down, to frighten him off. Mm.
[Karen:] Well that's a fat lot of good if you
[speaker004:] I expect you'll find
[Karen:] And it was two remote controls, one for the video and one for the television,
[speaker004:] Mm.
[Joy:] have perfect
[Karen:] eventually
[Joy:] Oh
[speaker004:] I like that new Amstrad double decker.
[Joy:] I don't
[speaker004:] What's that?
[Joy:] too bad
[speaker004:] What that.
[Karen:] That's right.
[Joy:] Hey where was the tea for dad? I drank mine away from the. I'm always so thirsty.
[speaker004:] I think they're making so many
[Joy:] If I didn't know Karen I should think I was the candidate for diabetes.
[speaker004:] Is worth hiring not buying at all. The first one we had, I Because you could Not much milk Karen. Not much milk for Not much milk
[Karen:] Thank you.
[speaker004:] The of art was Sugar? No, no thank you.
[Eric:] What that turkey in?
[speaker004:] They're all underneath Thank you. What's in that one that
[Joy:] Cranberry.
[speaker004:] No it's not cranberry. It tastes like The other thing is with the, the
[Joy:] Is it cranberry with?
[speaker004:] What, what's in place with the cranberry, something you're using.
[Karen:] Ah, eh, no I didn't, I said it's not turkey [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Oh.
[Karen:] I said it's pork.
[speaker004:] Right, pork.
[Karen:] It's apparently an actually.
[Eric:] What is the sauce on it?
[Karen:] It's cranberry and orange and claret actually.
[speaker004:] Oh.
[Karen:] I think, we bought three bottles of cranberry sauce didn't we? From
[speaker004:] Yes, I thought it was sweeter than ordinary cranberry. Mm, nice...
[Karen:] Mm.
[speaker004:] Somebody collecting horse brasses?... What you do, I mean talk about
[Karen:] They look quite nice on there though.
[speaker004:] Yeah. They take a lot of cleaning though.
[Karen:] No, they never get cleaned. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Don't they?
[Karen:] Nor will they ever. [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] They're old brassy.
[Karen:] Antique finish they've got.
[speaker004:] Have a cup of tea yet?
[Karen:] Oh Kevin
[Kevin:] I haven't had mine yet.
[speaker004:] it won't go to your lips unless you put your hand inside there, that's it, that's it, stir round, right, open your mouth, time it right.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Mum and dad get
[Kevin:] You didn't tell me it was there.
[Joy:] Well you got eyes, you got
[Kevin:] No, how do I know whether it might be Paul's.
[speaker004:] Normally you
[Karen:] Did you eat your
[speaker004:] No. Oh lovely.
[Eric:] Why is it that a cup of tea goes down so well?
[Joy:] Were all that
[Paul:] Can I go and myself
[speaker004:] Oh the little ones like you haven't got the
[Joy:] Do you drink tea? I didn't know you drank tea.
[speaker004:] Blimey that's the first picture I've had there isn't it?
[Joy:] Yeah, which one did you have?
[speaker004:] I like them all, I like the, especially like the erm Joy, has a recipe never liked before
[Joy:] Oh.
[speaker004:] then she realized how good, these two.
[Joy:] That's right, potatoes
[Karen:] And she, she wait, she made out she'd driven on a road
[Paul:] Michael do you want?
[Karen:] in the States, I think she's
[speaker004:] Adrian is very much wider scope of food now, before, far more wary weren't you?
[Adrian:] Mm.
[Karen:] Can't change Kevin though,
[Kevin:] I'm all sweets things and savoury I like
[speaker004:] I think when you realize how much you've missed something Ah
[Karen:] out, to say, I'm sorry I can't feed that to, someone else is out what's put in front of him, so that's why now he eats fish fingers and now he eats pizza.
[speaker004:] Who's this Paul?
[Karen:] Paul, yeah, yeah.
[speaker004:] How did you, did you start him on pizzas? Wow
[Karen:] Even quite likes them. Well he went to someone's house and all the eats them so he ate it.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Karen:] Must of brought him up well. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] My brother was like that once, he, he used to hate he used to hate he used to hate peas [LAUGHTER] thank you, and once he got invited to a friend of his and there was peas, and he put just of four peas on his plate and said [LAUGHTER] [] and he this plate of peas [LAUGHTER] []
[Karen:] Now, peas are harmless aren't they, they haven't got taste.
[speaker004:] A lot of people don't like them though. Has, for me he has a strong dislike for When you I had some money What you done that for? I don't know whether you could, you could Bet you could use that as a cooking
[Karen:] I cook in this.
[speaker004:] Mm. Yes, pretty solid.
[Kevin:] Cook toffee in it, the idea is a toffee tray.
[speaker004:] Oh to cook toffee oh alright. You'll be able to cook toffee now.
[Kevin:] That's why I came second in the quiz
[Karen:] No, I wanted to cook
[Kevin:] Would of won it if I'd been on
[Joy:] Didn't bring me one, no honestly
[Paul:] Mum
[Joy:] honestly you didn't
[Paul:] who is it?
[speaker004:] It sounds like Basil Fawlty
[Joy:] No really I'm waiting for it
[Ruth:] That's for watching too much
[Joy:] You one yourself
[Kevin:] I see, I thought I delivered you two cups
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] and you've only had one, right, O K
[speaker004:] You find it Paul?
[Karen:] How do you
[Kevin:] You want one plenty more
[speaker004:] In that case no thank you. I'm quite, is this being recorded?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Yeah [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] I'm quite thank you. Who can come out with the longest words in a minute
[Joy:] I wish I have he'd say one or two nice
[speaker004:] Oh yes he would
[Joy:] nice word.
[speaker004:] We got a little one everything haven't we, everything in the English language. if you ask me. Don't know. Erm, I've just discovered from the I think it's something No, we had that question the other day didn't we? Oh it's the the miners' disease, something, something disease of miners whatever. Economosis Yeah, something like that but it's longer, the whole full name's about thirty five letters. What Sorry I know the er name of that Thirty years ago. I got, you got train Sixty one or sixty three is, a little while ago. Mm... Hang on I think it is about, coming up thirty years now. Was it back in ninety sixty three? Sixty one or sixty three didn't... For an hour what, seven There's your third cup of tea. No it wasn't. And can I have second cup of tea? I probably will have a, I will have, probably will have a third. I no you ain't Dad can I have a third tea? A third Third What number's that? Go on Colin. Why's he getting so thirsty? Cos there's all this You leave my little alone. ... You have to Why I'm [LAUGHTER]... You worried about it you see it.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Yeah You're joking why should I sit between them? coming over the edge of the stool, one saying are you safe on that stool?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] now they're asking me to go and sit down between them, Hey no thank you very much
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Karen could move up that way Oh, there's room enough for him Alright Karen, I'll go and sit on the toilet
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Thank you
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] compliment. I'll take that as a compliment. What did she say then? sit on the toilet, she said I might fall in, I said I'd take that as a compliment after You know, he said just for the eh, erm, friendly he had when he was in the, in the Air Force, he was flying in and one of the properties in America was the big fat ladies they'd pull the chain sitting on the loo and those loos there and it was God
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER] and the only way said put your finger there [] [LAUGHTER]
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Oh yeah. Great vacuum [LAUGHTER] Oh how embarrassing. [LAUGHTER] want to do that. On the front, I went to today and on the front page of the Sunday Sports, was it the Sunday Sport? There was this picture, I don't know whether it was a man or a woman taken from the You bought the Sunday Sport? No, You've looked at it, you bought the other one and read the Sunday Sport [LAUGHTER] there was this picture of this, I don't know if it was a man or a woman naked in a cubical and it filled, well he or she filled the cubical and you couldn't see where the, the bottom began to
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Something like the five stone. Yeah, Adrian did a modelling job a couple of weeks ago. [LAUGHTER] What for?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] What's you so rude about you for. [LAUGHTER] I won't go in the loo and sit
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] cos I'd still be able to hear what you're saying.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Thank you love. Picture is so gross... on the front page as well toffee Paul, don't show your ignorance.
[Paul:] having a toffee for?
[speaker004:] That's the way to break it. Oh that's the way you break it I've got a toffee apple I haven't tried yet, but I don't think so, no ha, the only thing I've got was a Gone a bit quiet over there [LAUGHTER] Don't you break my chair [LAUGHTER] Here are I'll tell you how much it cost if you Is it as dear as that? Yeah.
[Ruth:] It cost a hundred and sixty five quid
[speaker004:] Cor blimey Yeah Did it?
[Ruth:] We've got those at work and they're like
[speaker004:] Was it new? New Ruth?
[Paul:] Quite new, quite new
[speaker004:] Was it? A hundred and sixty five, is it worth it?
[Ruth:] They've got them at work like that and they were about nearly three hundred pounds new
[speaker004:] Kevin, why did he give Michelle those glasses, I didn't wash them properly, is that the first time Yeah Yeah, yeah. I think it might only
[Paul:] talking at the same time
[speaker004:] I know, I know
[Paul:] My name's years old alright?
[speaker004:] This tape has to go, this tape has to go back. How do they know what's on the tape? Does anybody want any fruit bread or fruit cake? I'll try a piece Cut up our cake and then Karen can take her
[Paul:] Are you ready? This is difficult.
[Eric:] Is it all play?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Michelle:] It's action.
[Ruth:] It's an action.
[Michelle:] Smoothing.
[Ruth:] Washing.
[Joy:] Cleaning?
[Ruth:] Bathing.
[Joy:] Shrinking.
[Eric:] Eye glasses. Nurses
[Joy:] Shrinking
[speaker004:] morning.
[Eric:] Erm
[Joy:] Sweating, smelling, washing.
[Michelle:] Cleaning.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] Oozing.
[Paul:] Erm
[Eric:] Blowing your nose. Erm... nasal man
[Paul:] Erm
[Eric:] hair
[Ruth:] Shaving.
[Eric:] Erm... spots?
[Ruth:] Scraping
[Eric:] Erm
[Joy:] Oh dear.
[Ruth:] Walking er an old man with a walking stick.
[Michelle:] bath bath... hip bath.
[Paul:] Getting dirty... peeing
[Eric:] Elderly man
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] elderly erm
[Ruth:] Ageing.
[Eric:] Ageing... O.A.P.
[Michelle:] Sweating.
[Eric:] erm retired person.
[Michelle:] Getting older.
[Eric:] Er getting older.
[Ruth:] Wrinkling, geriatric-ing.
[Eric:] Oh dear. Parents
[Ruth:] Three ages of man. Seven ages of man.
[Eric:] Degenerate? No?
[Ruth:] Old age.
[Paul:] Erm
[Eric:] Thatcher.
[Ruth:] No!
[Paul:] [scream] Come on!
[Kevin:] Don't say the word! Pubescent
[speaker004:] Pubic.
[Michelle:] Pubic.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] Maturing.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Yeah [cheering and shouting]
[Kevin:] Yeah that's right, maturing
[Adrian:] Maturing, yeah
[Ruth:] being rude.
[Kevin:] he was... drawing big willies and little willies.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Well how are you supposed to draw the difference?
[Kevin:] I thought straight away.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] I mean you can't draw
[Ruth:] One two three four five
[Kevin:] cracking up.
[Adrian:] You're only one behind us now.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] getting older.
[Kevin:] Dear oh dear.
[Adrian:] What's that one? Is it all play?
[Ruth:] No. I'm going now.
[Adrian:] You're going now.
[Kevin:] Where have we got to?
[Ruth:] no just me.
[Kevin:] Just you?
[Adrian:] Green one.
[Ruth:] Yeah. Ready?
[speaker004:] Can I have a look?
[Paul:] Can I have a look?
[Adrian:] green. Green.
[Ruth:] Yeah it looks difficult but
[Eric:] You don't have to do it though.
[Paul:] Yeah but we know it's difficult but
[Kevin:] Er... title, book title....
[Eric:] Is it more than one?
[Kevin:] Open book.
[speaker004:] I know what.
[Ruth:] Mhm.
[Kevin:] Er pages... front pages
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Kevin:] er
[Ruth:] Mhm.
[Eric:] Frontispiece.
[Kevin:] er
[Michelle:] We know what the word is.
[Ruth:] Mm mm
[Joy:] are we?
[Kevin:] Front page?
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Kevin:] Index?
[Ruth:] Yeah you just said it.
[Paul:] Front page?
[Kevin:] What front page? Oh.
[Eric:] Oh I didn't
[Paul:] Mum you missed one! Did you deliberately miss that one?
[Michelle:] No.
[Ruth:] Front page.
[Paul:] I know but... you had something in front of it so I moved it back. Oh no that means I know what it is now doesn't it?
[Ruth:] No. What do you mean?
[Paul:] There was a green one, here. You missed it.
[Ruth:] I had already taken this out.
[Paul:] It was in there.
[Ruth:] Yes but this is where we're taking them from and we're putting them in here.
[Paul:] Oh.
[Michelle:] What was this one?
[speaker004:] You to draw. Alright.
[Eric:] Is it me drawing?
[speaker004:] Well it's
[Paul:] Is it an all play? Is it an all play?
[Kevin:] P, what's P? No it's not got an arrow.
[speaker004:] Ah! So you're just the two.
[Kevin:] do this one.
[speaker004:] can we see what it is?
[Eric:] Kevin?
[Paul:] Oh right. see it. I can see it.
[Kevin:] Yeah I had.
[speaker004:] What colour?
[Paul:] Oh we've had this one before.
[Kevin:] Are you ready?
[speaker004:] Yep.
[Ruth:] Butterfly... crocodile... alligator.
[Kevin:] Yes! [clapping]
[Ruth:] Well that's handy. That was easy peasy. Well we're catching up a bit. Two, one two. My turn to draw. Actions.
[Eric:] Where do I take one?
[Ruth:] You don't. You put that one back. It's me that takes.
[Paul:] Is it all play?
[Ruth:] No.
[Eric:] This is where you're lucky when you get
[Kevin:] starting
[Eric:] this is when you're lucky when you get two or three playing on your own... without all play.
[speaker004:] What is it?
[Kevin:] Plains
[Ruth:] It's a brown one.
[Eric:] What is it?
[speaker004:] What colour?
[Eric:] Brown.
[Kevin:] Oh she's off again, look. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] What colour? Oh brown.
[Kevin:] Vase er er base erm... whirlwind.
[Paul:] I know what I'd draw. Definitely know what
[Kevin:] Base of a fire
[Paul:] Oh mum that is a awful drawing. [shouting] Simplicity [].
[Kevin:] Er root of the fire, base of the fire. Simplicity.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] [shouting] Just do what... you always do it too [].
[speaker004:] on with it Paul.
[Kevin:] Vase... bottle...
[Paul:] What is she doing?... Come on mum, think!
[Ruth:] Shh.
[Kevin:] Cigar... tin opener
[Paul:] What? What
[Kevin:] electric iron... then goes on to erm... she's ironing
[Paul:] What is she doing!
[Kevin:] she's ironing this frantic frenzy again.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Erm
[Michelle:] Yes that's it!
[Kevin:] Er burnt, scorched!
[Ruth:] Thank you.
[Paul:] I would have drawn us, drawn us a toaster and some toast really.
[Eric:] Did you get it right? Why did you get it right?
[speaker004:] She had erm
[Adrian:] Careful you don't go back on that Paul.
[Kevin:] What've I got to do? What colour?
[Ruth:] D.
[Michelle:] Green.
[Paul:] Is it an all play?
[Kevin:] It's got, yeah arrow D.
[Ruth:] Black arrow?
[Kevin:] Who do I show it to?
[Joy:] What is it? What, what is it?
[Kevin:] Here you are. I'll show it to dad first then.
[speaker004:] I don't know what it is. [LAUGHTER]
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] What colour?
[Kevin:] D.
[speaker004:] I'm blue.
[Kevin:] It's got an arrow on it.
[Eric:] Who's who's drawing over here?
[Kevin:] I need it back again cos I've forgotten what it is.
[Paul:] It's green. It's not blue.
[Ruth:] it's a green one anyway, and you can
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] You said blue!
[Paul:] Oh what
[Adrian:] You told me blue.
[Kevin:] She said blue.
[Ruth:] I thought it was blue. That's what it's got
[Adrian:] What colour is it?
[speaker004:] Green
[Adrian:] Er er colourblind!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] Green, sorry.
[Michelle:] green
[Kevin:] Green, er no no we can have that one.
[Adrian:] Cabbage.
[Ruth:] Go on then.
[Kevin:] Green [LAUGHTER]... where's my pen?
[Ruth:] it's here, sorry.
[Paul:] never even saw
[Ruth:] It's here anyway.
[Paul:] [shouting] Is it green or blue []?
[Eric:] Green.
[Paul:] Then it's an all play!
[Ruth:] It's this one!
[Kevin:] This green.
[Paul:] Look! Why do you keep changing them?
[Ruth:] Paul, we don't.
[Paul:] You're sticking them back into a
[speaker004:] Shhhh. Go!
[Paul:] Oh she's picking wrong colours
[Adrian:] Erm... are are you drawing for us?
[Michelle:] No he's only on his own. We're not playing draw.
[speaker004:] Oh.
[Adrian:] Oh. said we were playing P.
[Paul:] I know! I mean that's what
[Ruth:] It's a difficult one. Speaking
[Eric:] It's very difficult.
[Ruth:] two words... hot air...
[Michelle:] There's only one word
[Ruth:] He says it's two words.
[Michelle:] Yeah but he's wrong.
[Eric:] I thought it was
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] It's a hyphen is it?... It's a hyphenated word.... Loud- mouth
[Kevin:] One word.
[speaker004:] I can see it's, I dunno
[Paul:] It's one word.
[speaker004:] Speech mark.
[Ruth:] Sick.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Of you.
[Eric:] Er... I think Ruth says anything in the hope that it's somewhere near right.
[Ruth:] Stomach upset.
[Kevin:] Oh blimey I don't know what to do.
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER] Stomach upset [].
[Ruth:] You can't blame me for that.
[Eric:] What would you draw... for this? I wouldn't know.
[Paul:] It's quite hard. I think
[Eric:] What would you draw?
[Ruth:] Nausea... indigestion.
[Michelle:] No you couldn't tell
[Paul:] You're not allowed hand signs.
[Ruth:] Hot air. Puke.
[Paul:] Oh! Come on!
[Ruth:] Have you seen what he's drawn?
[Paul:] That's quite good!
[Ruth:] Hot air. Stomach contents. I tried
[Michelle:] I just don't know what to do what to do with that one.
[Kevin:] [shouting] Finished [].
[Michelle:] It's comedy.
[Paul:] Comedy ha ha ha ha.
[Kevin:] Comedy.
[Ruth:] What?
[Eric:] Comedy.
[Kevin:] Ha ha.
[Ruth:] Why did you say it was two words?
[Kevin:] Ha ha.
[Paul:] Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
[Kevin:] Oh well yes I should have done one word. Yeah I was trying to do ha ha.
[Eric:] You didn't write ha ha.
[Kevin:] No I didn't, I didn't. I know you're not allowed to do that.
[Ruth:] What has this got to do with comedy?
[Kevin:] Ha ha ha ha ha ha
[Paul:] Alright roll the dice don't we?
[Eric:] How did you do the ha ha then?
[Kevin:] No I couldn't do that. It was too hard.
[Ruth:] No you don't roll the dice.
[Paul:] Oh no.
[Ruth:] You pick a card.
[Michelle:] it's me isn't it? Is this the right side? So action.
[Paul:] Is it all play?... Is it all play?
[Eric:] Is it all play?
[Michelle:] No it's me only.
[Eric:] It's lucky when you get
[Joy:] What colour is it?
[Adrian:] It's all play is it?
[Eric:] No.
[Adrian:] What colour is it?
[Michelle:] It's, it's brown.
[Adrian:] Brown.
[Kevin:] marks, get set, let's have a look.
[Eric:] Ooh, it's difficult.
[Michelle:] Oh I know what I could do for that.
[Kevin:] Oh crumbs.
[Paul:] First aid, St John's cross, red cross, red green cross code
[Adrian:] Ambulance
[Paul:] accidents
[Eric:] on there.
[Paul:] ambulance
[Adrian:] patients
[Eric:] What have you got for that?
[Paul:] Rushed to hospital erm
[Adrian:] emergency?
[Paul:] emergency units
[Adrian:] injured
[Paul:] intensive care
[Eric:] What?
[Paul:] er...
[Adrian:] emergency, rescue
[Paul:] doctor, stethoscope er
[Adrian:] rescue?
[Paul:] specialist, surgeon
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] It's an action. Not a thing.
[Adrian:] Rushed to hospital
[Paul:] heartbeat...
[Adrian:] go to hospital
[Michelle:] Mhm.
[Paul:] erm travel to hospital, erm
[Adrian:] airlift to hospital
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER] No that's not it [].
[Paul:] drive to hospital... rushed to hospital
[Adrian:] transported to hospital... transported?
[Ruth:] It's a frog.
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] Three legged frog.
[Paul:] Wait for hos what?
[Ruth:] Oh it's gone, it's gone.
[Eric:] What on earth. the right word
[Michelle:] Yeah.
[Eric:] Can you see it then?
[Adrian:] Run out.
[Eric:] Not yet. Now it has.
[Michelle:] Visit.
[Eric:] Visit.
[Adrian:] Oh that wasn't bad.
[Michelle:] It was visiting the doctor. It was a visit.
[Adrian:] Doctor's visit, yeah. Oh well I got the idea
[Michelle:] And there's his visitors but I mean it was
[Adrian:] Some words are so abstract aren't they?
[Michelle:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] Oh it's terrible.
[Joy:] somebody carrying a and going in a house.
[Eric:] How would you draw a visit?
[Ruth:] I would have done two doors I think, someone knocking on a door and... but I don't think anyone would have got it.
[Paul:] No. No.
[Eric:] No I don't think so.
[Ruth:] Your turn. Are you drawing Eric?
[Eric:] Yep.
[Kevin:] [sigh] Exhausting, this game isn't it?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] You're on a... A P play.
[Michelle:] Oh play again! Oh my god.
[Eric:] Am I drawing to you?
[Ruth:] Yeah. About time you did
[Joy:] All play.
[Ruth:] you were so rude about mine.
[Eric:] What colour?
[Ruth:] What colour? Red.
[Joy:] Red.
[Ruth:] Give it to Andrew.
[Paul:] Mum. Uncle An, Uncle Andrew needs to look at it.
[Eric:] Alright....
[Adrian:] Right.
[Eric:] Now you turn it over.
[Ruth:] Newt.
[Joy:] Loop.
[Adrian:] She got it.
[Paul:] Oh.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] How did you get that so?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] tadpole. [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] That's what I drew.
[Adrian:] No that's a circle. That's
[Kevin:] I think it's the start of a scribble, that is.
[Adrian:] No it's the way you draw it.
[Ruth:] That's the sign of the fish.
[Adrian:] It's the way you draw it.
[Eric:] Well I think that's a good
[Paul:] Who's mum?
[Ruth:] It's your turn again.
[Paul:] Do you have to roll the dice mum?
[Adrian:] That was a quickie.
[Ruth:] It's your turn again. drawing. Paul's drawing.
[Michelle:] Oh it's an all play again.
[Ruth:] All play again.
[Adrian:] Is it all play?
[Eric:] We've got to catch up. We're last.
[Adrian:] Has anyone seen the words?
[Paul:] Who's drawing?
[Joy:] I am. drawing.
[Michelle:] Joy is.
[Paul:] That's quite hard.
[Eric:] Is it er all play?
[Paul:] Yes. It's quite hard.
[Kevin:] Is it the... which colour? Red is it? Red Ruth?
[Eric:] Red. Yellow red.
[Paul:] Are you ready?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Paul:] It's quite hard isn't it?
[Kevin:] Ready go!
[Paul:] Erm er
[Michelle:] A man... one word.
[Kevin:] Another single word.
[Eric:] Cigar, iron, bus
[Kevin:] vase,
[Eric:] taxi erm car
[Michelle:] money, earning money
[Kevin:] money [shouting] Here she goes again. She's off. Frantic money [].
[Eric:] Hey what are you doing there?
[Kevin:] Circulation of money.
[Eric:] Smart money. Erm
[Michelle:] Spending money. Erm
[Kevin:] Spinning money
[Eric:] Taxi fare. Erm
[Kevin:] Tumbling coins.
[Michelle:] Earning money.
[Adrian:] Expenditure.
[Kevin:] Collection.
[Michelle:] Making money.
[Kevin:] Sounds like...
[Paul:] [screaming in background]
[Michelle:] Credit
[Kevin:] Sounds like
[Adrian:] Profits.
[Kevin:] profits. Er triangles.
[Michelle:] Interest rates erm
[Adrian:] Scoop.
[Kevin:] Pocket, sounds like pocket. Sounds like
[Eric:] Wealth.
[Adrian:] Money bags.
[Eric:] Money bags. Wealth.
[Adrian:] Ingots.
[speaker004:] Rich.
[Eric:] Ingots.
[Paul:] He got him, he got him.
[speaker004:] got it?
[Eric:] What was it?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Rich.
[Joy:] Sounds like ditch.
[Eric:] Oh blimey.
[Joy:] I drew a I was drawing a plane.
[Kevin:] I'd have done... I'd have done a quick, a little man carrying a bag with dollars
[Paul:] Yeah that's what I did. I did a man with dollars
[Ruth:] You're not allowed to do symbols
[Kevin:] Oh yeah.
[Ruth:] You're not allowed to do symbols.
[Kevin:] any symbols.
[Paul:] That's not symbols.
[speaker004:] It is isn't it?
[Ruth:] What is it?
[Kevin:] You're not allowed the hatch symbol that's all.
[Ruth:] What's the hatch symbol?
[Kevin:] Hatch symbol's the...
[Adrian:] Dollar.
[Kevin:] [reading] sketches may not include reference numbers or the... hatch symbol [].
[Ruth:] Oh. I thought you weren't allowed
[Kevin:] Because that means number in America doesn't it?
[Joy:] I drew a rolls royce and not a plane.
[Eric:] sounds like your little man titch.
[Paul:] I mean that's
[Adrian:] You're not allowed to do numbers.
[Kevin:] the letter though.
[Paul:] that you would be allowed to do notes... drawing a note and use it.
[Joy:] I thought if I just had a man who had a yacht and... he had a rolls royce and a yacht.
[Paul:] Wouldn't you?
[Eric:] Well I don't think that's much like a rolls royce.
[speaker004:] Oh my god.
[Eric:] And this is a yacht is it?
[Joy:] yacht and a plane.
[Michelle:] it's a red one.
[Paul:] Is it hard?
[Michelle:] I don't know what that one means. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Pass it on.
[Paul:] Pick another one. Pick another one.
[Eric:] Is it all play?
[Michelle:] I think this one, I think I know what it is.
[Kevin:] All play.... Red.
[Paul:] [shouting] []
[Kevin:] For you, yes.
[Michelle:] you're drawing yeah?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Eric:] Red?
[Kevin:] Red.
[Paul:] Red. Bottom....
[speaker004:] Mm she didn't end up with the word
[Kevin:] You're not supposed to look at it are you?
[Ruth:] I didn't see it. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Well what are you reading it for? [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] What's it mean? What is it?
[Ruth:] I didn't see it.
[Paul:] If y if she gets it straight away we know.
[Ruth:] I didn't see it!
[Michelle:] No she can't see it. She couldn't see it from there.
[Ruth:] Why would I lie? Right. Go.... How many words... mm
[Paul:] How many words?
[Ruth:] One.
[Michelle:] Box....
[Paul:] Man.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michelle:] Two boxes.
[Eric:] Man goes...
[Paul:] Crown, king... king.
[Michelle:] Aerosol.
[Adrian:] Telephone.
[Michelle:] Aerosol.
[Paul:] Party hats erm
[Adrian:] Erm
[Michelle:] Balloon pump. [LAUGHTER] different words []
[Paul:] Disco dancing. Er what's that?
[Michelle:] Aerosol.
[Adrian:] Royalty.
[Eric:] Gas canister.
[Kevin:] I know I know I know.
[Eric:] Sovereign....
[Michelle:] Gas canister. Balloon. Chef's hat. Hot air. Gas...
[Adrian:] Letter?...
[Michelle:] Tube.
[Paul:] Disco dancing. Cinema.... Walking the dog....
[Michelle:] Light bulb.
[Paul:] draw.
[Michelle:] Light, dark. No light. Switched off. Off switch.
[Paul:] Come on. What's this? On it's head.
[Michelle:] there's this... bulb.
[Adrian:] Hat.
[Paul:] Er
[Michelle:] Dead canister.
[Paul:] something else, something else.
[Michelle:] Full of er
[Adrian:] Wear.
[Michelle:] Fused. Lights out.
[Paul:] Out. Defused.
[Michelle:] Fused.
[Paul:] Out.
[Eric:] Say something mate
[Paul:] Gone. Vamoosed.
[Michelle:] Dead. Empty gas canister. Dead. Nought.
[Paul:] Disco dancing....
[Michelle:] Erm obsoleting Obsolete
[speaker004:] Dancing on
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Dud
[speaker004:] Dancing on a stage. Acting.
[Joy:] Religious is it?
[Adrian:] Oh dud.
[Kevin:] No, erm
[Adrian:] We're done. No, we've done it. It's gone.
[Eric:] Oh it's gone.
[Ruth:] Very good.
[Eric:] What was it then? sounds like suds.
[Kevin:] Yeah, should have done a sounds like as well.
[Michelle:] red. Are we red.
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Ruth:] No you're green. Oh yes [LAUGHTER]
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] knows. [LAUGHTER] dear oh dear [].
[Michelle:] This is really easy.... This is really easy.
[Paul:] Auntie Michelle is it all play?
[Michelle:] Yes.
[Paul:] If it was a dunce, you would have done that.
[Michelle:] This is really easy.
[Kevin:] me to draw.
[Eric:] Really easy, so we'll get... do I, quickly... really quickly to get down to it.
[Kevin:] Ooh I like quick ones.
[Michelle:] Okay?
[Kevin:] Ready, go.
[Eric:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Go.... Bed, no cushion.
[Kevin:] Candle erm
[Ruth:] Church, steeple
[Eric:] Flame.
[Ruth:] Steeple.
[Michelle:] Got it got it got it got it.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Look at that little church.
[Paul:] Oh erm right, we've got to get a high.
[Michelle:] Oh I'm sweating.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] Oh we've done that one, perspire.
[Eric:] sweating, perspire.
[Adrian:] Just by myself. If you
[Eric:] Who's blue? just got one up there.
[Kevin:] They have. They're scorching
[Paul:] Right. This is a quick one.
[Eric:] We've got there in the lead.
[Paul:] Well just think about it. Think about it.
[Michelle:] is it?
[Joy:] They're doing... a brown one.
[Paul:] It's action.
[Eric:] On their own?
[Paul:] action. Don't listen to action.
[Kevin:] Go....
[Ruth:] One word.... a line, two lines, three lines, a text.
[Kevin:] Waves. Sea.
[Paul:] Erm...
[Michelle:] Oh Paul!
[Joy:] Scales.
[Adrian:] Oh I don't know.
[Eric:] That's alright.
[Adrian:] That's what I would have done.
[Michelle:] That's not what I would have done.
[Ruth:] Erm lift erm... yeah but
[Adrian:] yeah you'd have done
[Kevin:] Action, raising, going up.
[Ruth:] Building.
[Kevin:] Rising.
[Ruth:] Rising. Brick, brick laying, erm... steps
[Kevin:] Construction?
[Ruth:] going up some steps. Making steps. Erm
[Adrian:] Building?
[Joy:] I think you should have done it the other way. Going up the other way.
[Ruth:] Money. Perhaps think of it as an action then.
[Joy:] Start at the bottom and go up the top.
[speaker004:] Going up. Erm
[Kevin:] Climbing.
[Michelle:] Climbing.
[Paul:] Er
[Michelle:] Rising, growing... mushrooming.
[Adrian:] Plates on the sink is that? On the table?
[Michelle:] Yes a table.
[Ruth:] I don't know what that is.
[Adrian:] Preparing.
[Michelle:] Preparing, making.
[Joy:] Ooh! [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] He's gone and knocked the sand out
[Michelle:] Erm dishes erm.
[Adrian:] Washing up.
[Michelle:] Washing up.
[Adrian:] Drying up.
[Paul:] [scream]
[Kevin:] [shouting] Finished []
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] It's a pile.
[Paul:] What would you have drawn?
[Kevin:] We would have done that, you know like a pile of
[Ruth:] Your turn Eric
[Kevin:] peat.
[Ruth:] and it's all play, and it's your turn.
[Adrian:] Pile like in
[Kevin:] Steaming pile yeah.
[Michelle:] It's all, it's me again.
[Ruth:] All play.
[Eric:] All play.
[Paul:] There's supposed to be a er... er
[Ruth:] seen it. have to be him.
[Joy:] How do you see it then? I never
[Kevin:] I've seen the word now.
[Paul:] No showing it to me.
[Kevin:] Who's who's who's drawing?
[Paul:] Don't keep showing it to me.
[Kevin:] Red.
[Michelle:] Where's the red?... [LAUGHTER] God this looks, is gonna be hard. Okay.
[Joy:] Red?
[Paul:] Well how many words?
[Kevin:] One word.
[Joy:] How many words?
[Paul:] Bed... er bed-settee, car, car wheels
[Kevin:] Car, travelling.
[Paul:] Hub caps.
[Ruth:] Caravan.
[Kevin:] Speed.
[Paul:] Move speed. Burning rubber.
[Ruth:] Meandering.
[Kevin:] Smoke, oh exhaust.
[Ruth:] Winding.
[Paul:] Exhaust pipe
[Kevin:] Fumes.
[Paul:] Fumes. Er gas
[Kevin:] Smoke.
[Ruth:] Carbon monoxide.
[Paul:] Carbon He's got it. [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] Smog. No you didn't say smog.
[Paul:] Yes I did.
[Eric:] You said carbon monoxide.
[Adrian:] smoke. You said smoke didn't you?
[Paul:] No she said car... smog.
[Kevin:] You said smog. I said smoke.
[Ruth:] What was it?
[Paul:] She said carbon monoxide.
[Michelle:] It was smog.
[Eric:] Smog.
[Paul:] I said, said smoke, I said smog, somebody else said carbon monoxide.
[Michelle:] He said smog.
[Kevin:] Yeah I think I heard him say smog. car was the smoke, smoke from the exhaust and he sa I said smoke... carbon monoxide... smog
[Eric:] What would you do for smog?
[Paul:] I was just going fumes, smoke, smog, smoulder
[Eric:] car on the road and all that.
[Kevin:] No I think he, he he did smog.
[Paul:] Yeah, smog.
[Eric:] I thought someone said carbon monoxide.
[Paul:] No she said carbon monoxide.
[Ruth:] I did. I said carbon monoxide.
[Kevin:] What were you calling out for?
[Ruth:] Cos I was getting... yours!
[Kevin:] Oh yeah sorry. You were playing yeah. Yeah you can play with me.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] Aren't you my partners.
[Paul:] one two three four five.
[Eric:] miles behind mum.
[Michelle:] Action.
[Eric:] Look where they are!
[speaker004:] Yeah. Half way through.
[Kevin:] Alright.
[Ruth:] Has it got a black arrow?...
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] No, no.
[Paul:] Is it hard? How many words?
[Ruth:] Okay, now. One word.
[Paul:] One word....
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] Erm... what colour was it?...
[Ruth:] Brown.
[Paul:] Have they seen it?
[Kevin:] Yeah. Ooh there's a delicate little drawing going on here.
[Ruth:] It's an action
[Michelle:] Oh Andrew's always very slow but at the end of it... bending his head.
[Paul:] Long neck, peer, peer over, nosy parker
[Michelle:] Fishing. Er flag.
[Paul:] Linesman. Er
[Michelle:] British.
[Paul:] patriot, er
[Michelle:] British patriot. Warrior. Er Dead, soldier. Erm
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER] These are the only glasses I can play in. I've got other glasses but I
[Paul:] Killing, soldier supporter
[Michelle:] Warrior
[Paul:] Cheering.
[Joy:] a bit inbetween. ever so old and I lost the thing
[Kevin:] They are old
[Paul:] A supporter!
[Kevin:] Can you get those repaired then?
[Michelle:] Japanese. War, war
[Paul:] countries
[Michelle:] The third world war. Erm
[Joy:] And they're scratched. But I can't
[Paul:] Going into war. Erm. Invasion....
[speaker004:] coffin.
[Michelle:] Coff-, coffee? [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] I thought if in doubt
[Michelle:] Dead soldiers erm
[Paul:] Remembrance.
[Michelle:] Remembrance day.
[Adrian:] It was action.
[Michelle:] Yes I know but I mean er
[Paul:] Move, er travel
[Adrian:] Dead
[Kevin:] [shouting] Finished [].
[Adrian:] Defeat.
[Kevin:] That was hard.
[Adrian:] How would you do that?
[Eric:] Very difficult one.
[speaker004:] white flat. Somehow.
[Ruth:] Eric. It's an all play. Oh no, Joy. Pass it on.
[Adrian:] How do you do a white flag unless you
[Eric:] We've got to get off this all play mum. It's holding us back.
[Paul:] Is it all play? Is it all play?
[Kevin:] It's amaz amazing how often people resort to matchstick men [LAUGHTER]
[Michelle:] What, what what is it? Oh it's just all play.
[Eric:] Well it's the thing you can draw the quickest isn't it?
[Ruth:] It's all play. Come on hurry up, I'm ready. Turn it over.
[Kevin:] How many words?... Pop hasn't seen it has he?
[Ruth:] Yes he has. Quick. Okay? Quick.
[Michelle:] Now.
[Paul:] Go.
[Kevin:] Go.... Fat, obese.
[Michelle:] A big
[Eric:] Cull erm
[Kevin:] Insect.
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Michelle:] Oh! Insects.
[Kevin:] Back! Get back!
[Eric:] What did you draw for that Ruth?
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] She's quite good.
[Ruth:] Six legs is six legs. Very well done.
[Eric:] You know what's holding us back? That all play. Cos they all have a go.
[Ruth:] You don't all have a go on this one.
[Eric:] We do when we're stuck on a
[Paul:] Can we have one of these?
[Eric:] You do get stuck on a regular, then your chances
[Paul:] What is it? What is it? What number?
[Michelle:] It's a green one.
[Kevin:] Ready steady... go.
[Paul:] Oh I shall never get that.
[Kevin:] Two words.
[Michelle:] Green one.
[Paul:] Impossible.
[Kevin:] Erm...
[Paul:] I'd love to see
[Eric:] Oh she won't get this.
[Kevin:] Television... er
[Paul:] Oh she's not! She is, she is
[Kevin:] She's zapping the zapping the television.
[Paul:] Very good idea.
[Kevin:] Sounds like
[Eric:] Yes it is good....
[Paul:] That's a very good idea.
[Kevin:] Revolution. Er clock face, clock
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] clock, sounds like clock. Clock
[Paul:] Mum!
[Kevin:] Clock, timer.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] Mm.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Oh come on mum! The other word.
[Ruth:] What's the point? Alright.
[Kevin:] Clock.
[Paul:] The other word. Surely. [whispering] []
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] I can't draw that [].
[Eric:] Shows you how much we rely on
[Kevin:] She's off again. Frenzy again. Er
[Eric:] show you how much you do.
[Paul:] Mum!
[Kevin:] don't you point at me. Er erm
[Paul:] No, no pointing.
[Adrian:] And if you don't speak someone's language
[Eric:] Right.
[Adrian:] that's the difference between
[Paul:] Twenty five. That's cool.
[Kevin:] er er er clock tow tow, clock
[speaker004:] If you don't have the football what else can I have?
[Paul:] Said sounds like clock.
[Kevin:] Oh sounds like clock. I'm going clock clock clock.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] [shouting] Stop []. Stockmarket. You should have got that one.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] I'd have drawn a market.
[Kevin:] Oh dear.
[Ruth:] Every day you come home stockmarket
[Eric:] Oh yeah. That was quite good.
[Paul:] I would have drawn a market.
[Kevin:] Yeah I would have gone up and down with graphs.
[Eric:] Well I should have done the financial
[Ruth:] No yours all go down.
[Kevin:] Oh yeah alright [LAUGHTER].
[Eric:] I should have done the Financial Times.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] go right down [].
[Paul:] Well who's go is it now?
[Ruth:] Do you know the share he bought for ten p each last week went down to three and a half pence each.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] Would you believe it?
[Kevin:] Shhh.
[Paul:] Er it's their go.
[Ruth:] Action.
[Kevin:] Strong smell of burnt fingers going on.
[Ruth:] Oh it's a it's a long one.
[Paul:] Oh, is it hard? How many words? Write it out.
[Ruth:] Your turn.
[Eric:] Did you buy any BT Kev?
[Kevin:] Mm?
[Eric:] BT did you buy?
[Adrian:] Who's drawing? You or Eric?
[Ruth:] Eric.
[Kevin:] Well I sent the money off.
[Paul:] Remember to put how many words. Only if it's
[Eric:] What is it? What colour?
[Ruth:] Brown.
[Adrian:] It's an action.
[Kevin:] That's us as well. Brown.
[Paul:] Another one we can do is long and short words.
[Kevin:] Oh, ready?
[Adrian:] Right. One word.
[Paul:] Short word.
[Eric:] come on.
[Adrian:] up.
[Paul:] Er... book
[Joy:] . One point.
[Paul:] Er what is that? What is that?
[Kevin:] Yes. Got it. No no she had it first.
[Paul:] [scream] she said... No way.
[Kevin:] Yeah I heard before.
[Paul:] Tiebreaker. Do it again. Do it again. Do it again.
[Kevin:] You should shout louder.
[Paul:] Have another go. Have another go.
[Adrian:] she's got it. [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] Least she got it though.
[Ruth:] Well we could play the tape back. We can see who got it first
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Paul:] Yes. Brilliant idea. Brilliant idea.
[Eric:] You won't hear Ruth.
[Joy:] but I think they got it first.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Have a tiebreaker, another go er er
[Ruth:] Alright. Do another brown then.
[Eric:] Do a tiebreaker.
[Ruth:] Whatever the brown one is on this
[Paul:] Well let let her have a look. Let her have a look.
[Ruth:] whatever the brown one is you do it.
[Joy:] You look.
[Adrian:] Oh we'll call.
[speaker004:] Right.
[Joy:] Eric you look.
[Eric:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] Oh it's another one.
[Kevin:] Is it?
[Adrian:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Another all play?
[Adrian:] Yeah.
[Paul:] No no no
[Kevin:] I'm not in.
[Paul:] just the two of you
[Eric:] Oh I don't get a chance.
[Paul:] tiebreak.
[Kevin:] Poor old
[Eric:] This is a tiebreaker. It's a good one now. Right, now.
[Kevin:] Right. Ready go.
[Ruth:] Tap. Hangman's noose.
[Paul:] Oh crikey. Hangman. Noose.
[Kevin:] Falling.
[Ruth:] Drop.
[Paul:] Falling. Shower. Yes yes [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] What did you draw for that?
[Adrian:] Oh yeah it's a shower. A shower.
[Kevin:] Wasn't a shower! What?
[Ruth:] Looks like a hangman's... scaffold.
[Kevin:] A shower!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] That's a bath!
[Paul:] What? Let's have a look.
[Kevin:] That's a shower!
[Paul:] That's not a shower. That's a shower. That's a nice bendy shower. It shows you what it is. And a person standing underneath it.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] It's my turn to draw.
[Eric:] That was rise. They drew a chair and it tips forward you know and helps you up.... Those chairs that... bend forward. What is it we've got to do now?
[Adrian:] No paper.
[Paul:] We've run out of paper.
[Eric:] We've got to get off that all play otherwise
[Joy:] Oh yes. I mean what is it? Everybody's in again?
[Kevin:] Is it? Right.
[Adrian:] Er I don't know yet. You've got to look cos I can't
[Paul:] What what am I on?
[Adrian:] It's a brown.
[Ruth:] Brown. Action.
[Paul:] It's not an all play.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Oh.
[Eric:] and we're on all play all the time. We can't get off it.
[Ruth:] Go.
[Paul:] Hang on mum I'm not ready.
[Ruth:] Wait.
[Eric:] You see you all have a go. We don't have a second turn.
[Paul:] Give it back to me.
[Michelle:] You've got five seconds.
[Paul:] Go.
[Ruth:] Go.
[Eric:] It's of being on red.
[Ruth:] Not if you're winning you don't get five seconds.
[Michelle:] One word. One small word. One big word. word. Alright so we get. [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] It's not difficult.
[Michelle:] Door.
[Adrian:] Action.
[Michelle:] Two doors.
[Adrian:] Action.
[Michelle:] Going through the door. Going from door to door.
[Adrian:] Entering.
[Kevin:] Yeah that's that's alright. Entering's alright. Entering.
[Paul:] Yes that's it. Yes he got it. He got it. He got it. Entering.
[Adrian:] Enter.
[Michelle:] What should it have been?
[Kevin:] Entering. Enter. Entering's alright.
[Eric:] Got a smart guessing team over there.
[Paul:] Actually for a second there I forgot it. I was gonna do ex I was gonna try and put some exits.
[Eric:] Mind you, they've got two guessing.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] That's good. Well done Annie. Your drawing's
[Paul:] Er... it's Andrew now.
[Kevin:] Four.
[Ruth:] One two three four
[Paul:] Yes, oh we're thrashing them.
[Adrian:] Oh no. We're being walloped.
[Kevin:] Oh we're nearly there! [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Murdering them. [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] Perhaps we'll catch up. We caught up when
[Eric:] We're getting walloped.
[Kevin:] Right. This is an all play.
[Eric:] Oh good. Yeah you can get back in here.
[Paul:] I hardly ever have a go. I'm very unlucky.
[Ruth:] I doubt it. It's an object.
[Michelle:] Oh well you never know.
[Eric:] Go on Joy.
[Joy:] Object. I don't know where to start. Wherever there's
[Adrian:] Hang on. Wait a minute.
[Kevin:] off this red one mum.
[Joy:] Object. That's the one at the bottom. Erm
[Kevin:] Red. That's it. Right.
[Paul:] I'm glad you got it that quickly it's a
[Ruth:] That's red.
[Kevin:] Isn't it?
[Ruth:] No it's blue.
[speaker004:] No. It's blue.
[Joy:] Oh sorry. Wait a minute.
[Kevin:] Blue. Sorry. My fault. Blue. Blue blue blue blue blue.
[Paul:] Did you, you your with this? Blue?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Go....
[Kevin:] Boxes.
[Paul:] Pawn.
[Michelle:] A steeple.
[Eric:] Boxer.
[Paul:] Steeple. Target.
[Michelle:] Light.
[Eric:] Hat.
[Paul:] Radiation. Radar.
[Michelle:] A lighthouse.
[Paul:] Radar. Radar. Information. Satellites.
[Kevin:] Telephone. It's a mobile telephone.
[Eric:] Oh yeah. Mobile telephone.
[Kevin:] Er two
[Eric:] Radio erm audio erm
[Paul:] Er which one is that? Bigger bigger
[Kevin:] fish. Fishes. Erm er
[Michelle:] Division
[speaker004:] Two words.
[Eric:] Walkie talkie.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [cheering]
[speaker004:] Well done Eric.
[Paul:] What did she draw?
[Joy:] Yes it's a walkie talkie.
[Paul:] Oh that's a good one.
[speaker004:] I think mine was.
[Adrian:] You got that from
[Kevin:] You got walkie talkie out of that?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] quite good.
[Adrian:] You see I was doing
[Joy:] I don't... yes... it's got the earphones and
[Ruth:] That's not a walkie talkie... that's a walkie talkie.
[Paul:] Let's see.
[Eric:] Yeah, it's not bad.
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Paul:] What's I can't even see, hang on
[Kevin:] You got walkie talkie from a Sony Walkman there.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michelle:] what they're talking about.
[Ruth:] Anyway they get a go now.
[Kevin:] There's fifty years of empathy
[Ruth:] Surely they won so they?
[Paul:] No.. They have, they have to have their go.
[speaker004:] What?
[Michelle:] move that.
[Paul:] They have to go. They can't move. Now if they win this one
[Kevin:] Yes that's right.
[Paul:] on their own one then they get a well done.
[Joy:] but we can't get off of there unless we
[Eric:] We can't get off it.
[Paul:] You can if you win this.
[Kevin:] If you win this
[Joy:] Yeah
[Paul:] If it's on it's own.
[Kevin:] That's, you have to keep
[Adrian:] You're on your own now though.
[Joy:] Well how, what advantage was it to him to win that then?
[Eric:] Well I
[Paul:] You see he's so unlucky that his is on all play.
[Kevin:] Hang on
[Ruth:] Right. There you are.
[Eric:] Well lets just test that out because... I'm I'm suffering enough. I've been suffering Ever since the game started you
[Kevin:] You're suffering, she's wet!
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] This time we'll do it. Next time he can move if he wins it. After that, afterwards.
[Joy:] Yeah but every time we have an all play. Whatever happens.
[Kevin:] Yes I that that does seem a bit odd.
[Paul:] Okay next time we'll move.
[Adrian:] All all play.
[Eric:] Yeah read all play for goodness sake.
[Adrian:] [reading] In the all play category the word card is shown to the picturist of each team. The all play word is sketched simultaneously by picturists in their respective teams at the start Regardless of who's all play it was, the first team to identify the word earns control of the die and immediately rolls and advances the number of squares indicated. The team now continues in turn with a new word. If no team identifies the word in the time allotted the die is passed to the left.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] However the team does not roll the die but begins its turn by pulling a new card and sketching the word corresponding []
[Paul:] What does that mean?
[Ruth:] So why is there no advantage to them to have guessed walkie talkie?
[Eric:] I mean I've won the game. I mu
[Paul:] an all play.
[Michelle:] advantage because it's all play. You could have been the next player
[Paul:] If he was
[Eric:] We'll never get off all play then?
[Joy:] all of theirs er
[Michelle:] Yes you will. It's you've got to be first to find it.
[Paul:] Yes! You've got there's your disadvantage. Yes.
[Ruth:] It's just bad luck that you happen to be stuck on.
[Paul:] Just bad luck.
[Kevin:] You're right. It's not
[Eric:] We've since the game begun.
[Ruth:] All play.
[Eric:] What is it does it say?
[Ruth:] All play.
[Paul:] No. Next time you next time they can roll the dice if they get it.
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER] She's going to give it to Joy.
[Eric:] All play.
[Joy:] What is it? All play. What is it? What an action or
[Kevin:] Who's who's go? Who who's drawing for you?
[Adrian:] Michelle.
[Michelle:] Yeah.
[Paul:] It's reds yeah, but it hard? How many words?... Remember short words or long words.
[Ruth:] Ready... go.
[Paul:] How many words?... Words.
[Joy:] it seems to me we have to win two to get off.
[Ruth:] Collar. Neck. Tie.
[speaker004:] Oh she's got
[Ruth:] Brooch. Collar. Necktie.
[Paul:] Er... bow tie.
[speaker004:] Cravat.
[Joy:] Collar.
[Paul:] Bow tie.
[Ruth:] Bow tie.
[Joy:] Scarf.
[Paul:] Clothes. T shirt. Erm
[Adrian:] Jacket.
[Ruth:] Long necked.
[Paul:] Long necked. Er er er
[Michelle:] Short necked. Rolo neck.
[Paul:] Er collar.
[Ruth:] Polo neck.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Yeah.
[Eric:] Polo neck. I'm drawing a polo horse and you're going... look I've done the collar, polo.
[Paul:] I was trying to remember the name of that collar. I said oh what's it called.
[Ruth:] I don't throw the dice do I?
[Eric:] Well why not say polo?
[Ruth:] Right so we're on there
[Eric:] We'll never, we'll never get off.
[Joy:] We've got to get twice to get off.
[Eric:] We've got to win twice... to get off
[Kevin:] Yes. You've got to you've got to win twice to get off. I think
[Eric:] Never get on a red.
[Kevin:] No.
[Ruth:] Everybody does this one.
[Eric:] If you get stuck on a red you've had it.
[Kevin:] It's a bugger of a square to get on, that one.
[Paul:] What are we on? Brown?
[Eric:] It's a terrible square to get on mum.
[Kevin:] I think the rule should be you should move on soon as you win one, I think.
[Paul:] Oh that's easy.
[Ruth:] Do you wanna take a card out?
[Joy:] I don't think that's quite right
[Paul:] This is a quick one. A quick one.
[Eric:] I'm sure you're supposed to go two
[Paul:] Well Paul that's not fair. If mother hasn't even seen it. I know. I know. to say, it's a quick one.
[Eric:] I can't think
[Ruth:] brown
[Eric:] because you're on all play you're stuck there forever.
[Ruth:] Right.
[Kevin:] What's what's that behind over there? That that over there? This, that bit there.
[Paul:] Well don't look. Don't look.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] Red now.
[speaker004:] Ready steady go.
[Kevin:] What's that?
[Michelle:] One word.
[Kevin:] Erm volcano
[Eric:] Vesuvius
[speaker004:] Volcano. Eruption.
[Paul:] Yes.
[Eric:] Lava. What was it?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Erupt.
[Ruth:] I don't think they should be allowed that.
[Paul:] What?
[Kevin:] Why?
[Ruth:] It was erupt. And as you are winning by so much I think we should
[Kevin:] Oh no no no eruption, erupt is alright.
[Paul:] Oh come on. That's not fair.
[Eric:] What did you say then?
[Paul:] Because we're given them.
[Kevin:] Yeah yeah. Yeah I think
[Adrian:] How precise an answer must be is up to the teams playing.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] Should be decided at the start of the game. For example is bunk bed... is bunk acceptable for bunk bed?
[Paul:] Yes.
[Kevin:] No
[Ruth:] Depends whether you're winning by half a board or not. [LAUGHTER].
[Adrian:] Thatcher for Margaret Thatcher. Enlarged or enlarge.
[Paul:] No it doesn't.
[Ruth:] Yeah. Alright.
[Kevin:] Yes. I think it is.
[Ruth:] Go on then. Your turn. Blue.
[Paul:] Hang on. Can... can I just raise a rule?
[Ruth:] What?
[Paul:] If they win an all play on somebody else's they are immediately allowed to roll the dice and they won't stay
[Michelle:] for two.
[Paul:] on all play. So they can get off all play. And then
[Ruth:] Do you mean you want to change the rule?
[Paul:] No no.
[Joy:] You've got to agree in at least
[Eric:] I'm sure that rule is wrong about... being on all play.
[Paul:] If we have another all play
[Adrian:] [reading] If a word is not identified in the time limit the die is passed to the left.
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] The team receiving the die begins its turn by pulling a new card from the pack
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Adrian:] not a roll of the die.
[Ruth:] That's right.
[Kevin:] Quite clearly you can't roll the dice the first time you win.
[Eric:] Well it's just one of those unlucky things.
[Adrian:] The only times the die is rolled to advance the token is when a word is identified within the one minute time limit
[Ruth:] Yes. And you have another go. Yeah?
[Adrian:] or the team is first to identify the word in any [] hang on, hang on [reading] the only the time the die is rolled to advance the token is when a word is identified within the one minute time limit comma... or a team is first to identify the word in any all play situation [].
[Kevin:] Ah. Yes.
[Eric:] Oh well we did that.
[Joy:] We've been, twice we've had it.
[Eric:] We should have had... twice we've
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] I tell you what, you can have two rolls of the dice. Give them the dice.
[Kevin:] Right.
[Ruth:] Right.
[Eric:] Yes. I thought it was wrong.
[Kevin:] Mum thought it was wrong.
[Paul:] No but it's still our go. It's still our go.
[Ruth:] And another. It isn't it's... five
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Five.
[Paul:] Yes it is. It's still our go cos we won it.
[Joy:] One two three four five.
[Ruth:] your go you have to pick a blue. Who's drawing?
[Eric:] That's better.
[Paul:] me. Me.
[Eric:] Now what do we do in future? When you win one
[Ruth:] No. You haven't got a blue.
[Kevin:] If you're in an all play situation you can move on straight away.
[Paul:] Can we? Can we?
[Adrian:] It's me to draw.
[Paul:] What?
[Adrian:] You did the volcano.
[Ruth:] You to draw.
[Michelle:] You did the volcano.
[Paul:] Oh yeah. Yeah.
[Eric:] We'd have been there forever.
[Ruth:] Michelle to draw.
[Kevin:] You're right and... wrong
[Michelle:] You did the er... Oh no yes it's you to draw.
[Paul:] Yes
[Eric:] Still I think we done fair by giving two rolls of the dice.
[Kevin:] Have you looked at it? Oh I've got to see it.
[Paul:] No. I haven't seen it.
[Kevin:] Is that it, the card?
[Ruth:] It's not all play.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Ruth:] A Andy's got it's just a blue one.
[Paul:] Did we roll our dice? Did we roll our dice?
[Ruth:] are you on your own?
[Adrian:] Mhm. Hang on.
[Paul:] Did we
[Adrian:] No it's it's an all play.
[Kevin:] Ah.
[Adrian:] Blue, isn't it, it's on blue?
[Kevin:] Blue.
[Ruth:] Yeah. Blue with an arrow
[Paul:] Did we roll our dice?
[Kevin:] Did we roll... we didn't roll the dice.
[Paul:] Did we roll our dice?
[Ruth:] No you don't roll it.
[Paul:] Yes why not?
[Michelle:] We didn't have to roll
[Ruth:] You haven't got control.
[Adrian:] Oh yes.
[Eric:] You haven't got control.
[Ruth:] We won that eruption.
[Paul:] Yes.
[Ruth:] But it was their go
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] so you haven't got control.
[Paul:] Why was it their go?
[Michelle:] Because they were on all play.
[Ruth:] Because it was an all play, for them.
[Adrian:] Blue is it... have I blue?
[Michelle:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Yeah. Give it to Joy.
[Michelle:] Don't go yet.
[Ruth:] Who's drawing?
[Eric:] No, me.
[Ruth:] Right. Blue....
[Eric:] Yeah. Who wants it?
[speaker004:] Ready
[Ruth:] No, turn it down.
[Eric:] Oh....
[Paul:] How many words?...
[Ruth:] What on earth is that?... Shadow.
[Paul:] Tap.
[Ruth:] What is it, an object?
[Paul:] Ah I can't see what this is.
[Ruth:] Reflection.
[Joy:] A play game. A play board. Erm... scrabble. Canasta
[Ruth:] Chess.
[Joy:] Er chess.
[Michelle:] Puzzles. Chess. A chess man.
[Kevin:] She said it.
[Paul:] What puzzles?
[Kevin:] She said it. Puzzle.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Puzzle.
[Adrian:] I was trying to do... that was a jigsaw puzzle
[Kevin:] Oh jigsaw puzzle.
[Eric:] What did you do for puzzle?
[Paul:] Oh
[Eric:] Oh jigsaw, that's good.
[Ruth:] So you got it so you throw.
[Joy:] Oh good.
[Ruth:] Right.
[Paul:] It's... Michelle's
[Michelle:] La la la la [throws dice]
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] One [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] All that effort.
[Michelle:] Action.
[Paul:] Is it all play?
[Michelle:] No.
[Kevin:] Action. Oh well I don't mind. [LAUGHTER] I don't like action ones [].... Go.
[Paul:] How many words?
[Ruth:] They don't go.
[Kevin:] Shall I put that one back, that card?
[Eric:] Wait a minute. Not yet.
[Paul:] Get ready for how many words?
[Michelle:] Can't stand
[Kevin:] It's not that one.
[Adrian:] Oh.
[Kevin:] That's the card.
[Paul:] It's not th, it's that one.
[Ruth:] Right. Go.
[Paul:] Get ready for how many words? One medium quite long one.
[Ruth:] Oh that's easy. Oh yes.
[Adrian:] Oh yeah.
[Ruth:] Doddle....
[Adrian:] Action. Site? No.
[Paul:] Lying down. Asleep.
[Adrian:] Asleep.... Diving.
[Paul:] Diving. Diving board.
[Adrian:] Swimming.
[Paul:] Swimming.
[Michelle:] Yes. Swim. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] That's a good drawing there wasn't it?
[Eric:] Yeah very good drawing.
[Michelle:] Oh it's bird's eye view.
[Eric:] Don't draw such good drawings Michelle.
[Michelle:] Normally you draw the water er er over the head don't you?
[Eric:] Michelle. Don't draw such good drawings.
[Michelle:] Yes but I mean you wouldn't guess that. It's hard to draw isn't it?
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] Yeah.
[Michelle:] Whereas if there was someone in
[Eric:] Have you played this game in France?
[Ruth:] Right you throw the dice again.
[Joy:] Don't your foot under my legs. It drives me dotty. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Two.
[Ruth:] All play.
[Michelle:] all play oh my god.
[Eric:] Oh we've got to get off that mum. What have you got to do to get off it?
[Paul:] Er Have you looked at it? It's red yeah?
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Mhm.
[Paul:] Oh how are we supposed to get that?
[Ruth:] Quite easily.
[Eric:] Have you seen it mum?
[Ruth:] No. Turn it over.
[Eric:] Red, mum.
[Michelle:] No I'm not drawing
[Kevin:] You know it you know it do you?
[Joy:] Oh yes.
[Michelle:] Okay ready
[Eric:] Okay ready.
[Michelle:] Go.
[Kevin:] Go.
[Eric:] Camel.
[Michelle:] Waves.
[Eric:] Er bendy
[Michelle:] Big waves. Storm.
[Kevin:] Speech
[Eric:] Er waves.
[Michelle:] Storm. Gales.
[Kevin:] Rainbow. Er typhoon.
[Eric:] Hurricane.
[Michelle:] Typhoon. Hurricane. Waves.
[Kevin:] Tidal wave.
[Eric:] Gales.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] got it.
[Joy:] Tidal wave.
[Paul:] He got it. Yes. A tidal wave. We are brilliant. We are motoring. Motoring.
[Eric:] Oh now how do we get off that now? We've won it.
[Paul:] We throw the dice.
[Michelle:] We go again.
[Kevin:] We throw the dice.
[Paul:] We throw the dice yeah. Please
[Joy:] More paper please. [LAUGHTER]
[Michelle:] One two three four five. All play again.
[Kevin:] Right. Is there any more paper Ruth?
[Paul:] All play. All play.
[Ruth:] in the drawer.
[Joy:] I'll get it later.
[Eric:] There's no need.
[Paul:] We are motoring.
[Ruth:] Wait a minute.
[Paul:] see what you drew? Tidal wave.
[Joy:] We're nearly there.
[Kevin:] Mum, mum I was a bit slow. I got that one
[Eric:] Have you got to get there exactly? No, I'm alright.
[Kevin:] I had typhoon. I was going typhoon and
[Ruth:] Right it's all play and it's your turn to draw.
[Paul:] We are really motoring.
[Ruth:] Have you seen it?
[Eric:] Yes, perhaps I do.
[Kevin:] No.
[Eric:] Thank you.
[Kevin:] What colour?
[Ruth:] It's all play.
[Kevin:] What co, oh.
[Ruth:] Red....
[Eric:] Wait a minute I haven't seen it yet.
[Paul:] Dad we haven't seen it.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Nobody's seen it.
[Joy:] I wasn't going to look
[Eric:] Yeah I've got it.
[Paul:] How many words?
[Ruth:] Ready
[Paul:] How many words?
[Kevin:] Erm
[Michelle:] One...
[Ruth:] Dropping.
[Michelle:] Dead.
[Ruth:] Dead.
[Michelle:] Graveyard.
[Ruth:] Graveyard. Crematorium.
[Michelle:] Lots of people dead.
[Ruth:] Mortuary.
[Paul:] Mortuary.
[Michelle:] Funeral.
[Kevin:] Oh Ruth!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Why do you think of everything but funeral? Mortuary, rigor mortis.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] There's no man. You have to have a []
[Eric:] a man
[Adrian:] I was just draw a cemetery.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] What did they draw then?
[Kevin:] She thought of everything
[Ruth:] I think you might win this time. Oh no you there's problems at the end winning aren't there?
[Paul:] There's erm
[Ruth:] You've got to win on a
[Kevin:] Ooh Ruthie!
[Paul:] If we can get a five it doesn't matter
[Michelle:] And it's a ten!
[Adrian:] Two. One two. Object.
[Paul:] Oh two. Oh he's got it. He's got it then.
[Ruth:] Who's drawing?
[Adrian:] Michelle.
[Paul:] Is it all play?
[Michelle:] Blue. Oh yes. [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Once you go past the end you go on to the red and if you win it
[Eric:] So you want to see it?
[Joy:] Alright. All play isn't it?
[Ruth:] Is it all play?
[Eric:] All play. Two.
[Ruth:] Hang on. I haven't
[Kevin:] Hang on.
[Paul:] Oh this is ridiculous. There's no way.
[Eric:] Wait a minute coming round. Here it is, blue.
[Kevin:] Everybody ready?
[Ruth:] No we haven't seen it.
[Eric:] No Ruth's not ready.
[Kevin:] Hang on, it's blue. Ready... steady go.
[Paul:] Go. One word.
[Eric:] Goldfish bowl. Erm
[Kevin:] Hammer
[Paul:] Erm baths.
[Kevin:] Baths. Loo.
[Adrian:] Toilet.
[Michelle:] Yeah. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Oh
[Paul:] This is brilliant. We are going
[Eric:] I. I was nearly there.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] Another couple of seconds I'd have got that.
[Paul:] Let's see. How could she not get that.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] That was brilliant wasn't it?
[Eric:] Who did the drawing?
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER] chain. Toilet [].
[Eric:] Very good drawing.
[Joy:] You have to do it quickly
[Kevin:] Yeah oh that's... sorry
[Paul:] Have you done
[Adrian:] [reading] To win a team must reach the final play square for the chance to win. It must be the first team to identify the word in the same manner... play as in previous all plays [].
[Paul:] Oh yeah. It's my go.
[Joy:] It's your go? Oh, it's exhausting
[Paul:] Okay. So if we can get a three if we get a three it will be an all play. Three or more it will be all play and if we win it we've won the game.
[speaker004:] Right.
[Adrian:] [reading] A team that reaches the final all play square cannot win the game by winning a round controlled by another team. You must first regain control of the die to attempt the winning word [].
[Ruth:] I don't think there's any worry of that.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Eric:] We're too far back.
[Paul:] So if we get to the all play and we win the all play we've won.
[Adrian:] [reading] The exact roll isn't
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] Whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo
[Michelle:] Yeah but we if there's, if it's an all play.
[Adrian:] An exact roll of the die is not required to enter the square [].
[Ruth:] Three or more.
[speaker004:] Yes.
[Paul:] Six. Right. So this
[Ruth:] It's all play.
[Paul:] The deciding all play.
[speaker004:] Right. You drawing. I didn't see it.
[Michelle:] All is in your hands, it's very serious you know. [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] Pass it on.
[Eric:] All play red?
[Michelle:] Red.
[Kevin:] Yeah....
[Paul:] Oh what!
[Joy:] What is it? We haven't seen it.
[Eric:] Don't start it yet. We haven't seen the card.
[Paul:] Card. Ah, I think I can get this actually.
[Michelle:] Right.
[Paul:] Are you ready?
[Michelle:] Ready... steady... go. Two words....
[Joy:] Aren't your drawings
[Ruth:] Heraldry.
[Adrian:] Hand.
[Michelle:] Water.... Full. Water
[Eric:] Throw.
[Michelle:] Oh no erm
[Joy:] Water pump.
[Michelle:] Water, water
[Adrian:] Bucket.
[Michelle:] water shading. Water... wiltering
[Joy:] Can.
[Ruth:] Filter.
[Joy:] Erm.
[Adrian:] Irrigation?
[Michelle:] Is it irrigation, the watering, sunshine, growing.
[Kevin:] No, no
[Ruth:] liquid?
[Kevin:] No.
[Michelle:] Erm...
[Ruth:] Transfusion.... Evaporation.
[Michelle:] Evaporation. Sweat...
[Eric:] Indians.
[Kevin:] Hey!
[Eric:] Mm
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] Is it a country?
[Kevin:] Cos I know she won't get it but I'm try pretty confident nobody else will but... erm.
[Adrian:] Axe... in the head.
[Michelle:] Indian.
[Ruth:] Fight.
[Adrian:] Two words.
[Joy:] Red indians.
[Adrian:] Red indians.
[Joy:] Gathering erm
[Ruth:] Are both the words the same?
[Michelle:] indians.
[Joy:] Flowering, farming th planting,
[Kevin:] Don't think you'll ever get that word
[Joy:] Seeds.
[Kevin:] so I'm trying to give you that one.
[Adrian:] Er smoke, bomb
[Michelle:] Indian arrow, arrow, bow and arrow. Erm
[Paul:] No. It's it's gone.
[Eric:] I don't think anybody's gonna get this.
[Kevin:] Bongo drums.
[Paul:] Yes!
[Kevin:] Oh sorry no. I thought it had gone.
[Paul:] Oh no. It's bongo drum.
[Ruth:] Oh.
[Eric:] Bongo drum.
[Kevin:] I don't think anybody would have got that.
[Ruth:] got it
[Paul:] What did you draw
[Eric:] Who would have got bongo drum then? There's a drum
[Adrian:] he was drawing it.
[Paul:] Let's see yours.
[Eric:] A man sitting there without a
[Kevin:] I don't think anyone would have got bongo
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] swap over.
[Adrian:] That's a man sitting there.
[Kevin:] people would have got drums
[Paul:] Drumsticks.
[Kevin:] Would they have got bongo? I mean
[Eric:] What about this man here with a great big bass drum?
[Paul:] But you would have thought of it if you had a man in it.
[Eric:] Didn't that help?
[Joy:] No it didn't.
[Ruth:] What happens now... do we try the next all play?
[Kevin:] Erm
[Paul:] No it goes And we can't win. We can't win until we get
[Eric:] What's that?
[Joy:] hit the drum with.
[Ruth:] Oh. It's an all play.
[Eric:] I thought you used your hand, bongo drums.
[Paul:] So it's their turn?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] It's your turn and if they all play then we all play.
[Kevin:] I was doing sticks I must admit. I can't draw hands.
[Michelle:] It's an all play this one?
[Ruth:] I dunno, has it got an arrow on it? D O, the blue one?
[Paul:] Has it got an arrow?
[Eric:] Oh. Has it got an arrow on it?...
[Paul:] Don't... don't shut
[Eric:] A black arrow.
[Joy:] Er... yes.
[Eric:] It has. It's all play then.
[Paul:] It has. So we can't win if we get this.
[Kevin:] We can't win.
[Paul:] We've just got to get control then we can win.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Eric:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Go on. No don't look at it! Oh yeah
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] That writing on the blue is ever so difficult.
[Kevin:] Yes. It's dark isn't it? On your marks ready go.
[Michelle:] Ready steady go.
[Paul:] Man. Fat man. Big man. Good man.
[Kevin:] Vest. Pockets. Oh. What was that Ruthie?
[Eric:] Why did you do pockets because of the Oh yeah.
[Ruth:] Well!
[Kevin:] You see when she if you don't get it with Ruth
[Adrian:] Well I was trying to
[Kevin:] in the first ten seconds she goes ccchhhrrr
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] Yeah. She scribbles it all up.
[Joy:] That was pretty good, a pocket with buttons.
[Kevin:] Agog in whirlwind of, frenzy of frustration.
[Joy:] Oh that's of Ruthie isn't it?
[Kevin:] It's like... if you don't get hold
[Ruth:] It's cos you're so thick!
[Kevin:] I'm going to smack you.
[Eric:] that's Ruth did a coat.
[Paul:] Go on then. our go. action.
[Joy:] do a coat when I could
[Kevin:] Oh here we go with this. Come on.
[Ruth:] Right. U U is A.
[Eric:] She did the shoulders
[Paul:] Is it brown? Is it all play?
[Kevin:] Brown? Oh not brown. I don't like brown. Can I have another colour?
[Ruth:] No.
[Paul:] arrow.
[Kevin:] It's an arrow, yes. Oh well
[Paul:] Oh we've got to get control to win this.
[Kevin:] It's easy if we don't show you what it is.
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Go on.
[Kevin:] There!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Don't... don't draw that.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Don't show it, don't show it to them all.
[Joy:] not supposed to see it.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Paul:] She doesn't want to see it.
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] You can't see it when it's like that. [].
[Eric:] What colour is it?
[Ruth:] Brown.
[Paul:] Brown.
[Kevin:] Brown oh that'll be, it's impossible. Erm
[Paul:] Are you ready? How many words? Go.
[Joy:] One word.
[Paul:] One big word. Extra. I don't know. Emulate [LAUGHTER]
[Michelle:] Piano.
[Joy:] Car.
[Paul:] Er
[Ruth:] What is it?
[Joy:] Driving.
[Paul:] Harpsichord.
[Ruth:] Piano
[Paul:] Er
[Joy:] Driving.
[Paul:] What is it?
[Adrian:] What's this, action?
[Ruth:] Er... it's an action....
[Michelle:] Races.
[Paul:] Saw, sawing.
[Michelle:] Driver.
[Paul:] Sawing. Shooting. Banging.
[Michelle:] Bullets.
[Paul:] Baaaaaa machine gun.
[Michelle:] Shoot blanks.
[Joy:] Gliding.
[Michelle:] Surrender.
[Paul:] Surrender. Er hands up. Defeat.
[Michelle:] Surrendering.
[Paul:] Surrender.
[Adrian:] Victory.
[Paul:] Victory.
[Adrian:] Ceasefire.
[Paul:] Shot.
[Michelle:] Submit. Submitting.
[Joy:] It's all yours.
[Paul:] Ceasefire. Erm erm surrender.
[Michelle:] Surrendering.
[Paul:] Hands up. Don't move. Erm er
[Adrian:] Surrender. All I can do is
[speaker004:] Surrender.
[Adrian:] Give in.
[Paul:] Give in. Er... stop
[Adrian:] We're giving in.... Vic er prisoner of war
[Paul:] Er
[Michelle:] White flag Take over bid.
[Adrian:] Hands up.
[Michelle:] Hostage. Something to do with a vehicle somewhere in it.
[Paul:] Er
[Michelle:] Ambulance.
[Paul:] you're nicked mate. Erm
[Michelle:] policeman.
[Paul:] Arrested. Er
[Adrian:] Bank robbery. Robbery.
[Paul:] Arrested.
[Adrian:] Hi-jack.
[Eric:] How do you get that?
[Kevin:] That's what a... tr with a transport
[Ruth:] I'd have done it with an aeroplane but
[Paul:] That's harder.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] That means... Mum, we we've got
[Eric:] how do you do a hijack?
[Ruth:] Right. It's your turn again.
[Paul:] Yes, if we win this we've done it. Okay?
[Ruth:] It's an all play.
[Paul:] All play. Come on, let me have a look first.
[speaker004:] Ha!
[Michelle:] And me.
[speaker004:] Ha!
[Ruth:] It's a red one.
[Eric:] What colour?
[Paul:] That's simple.
[Joy:] What colour?
[Eric:] Oh red. Red.
[Paul:] Red.
[Kevin:] A quick one then, is it?
[Michelle:] Is it a quick one?
[Kevin:] Are we all ready?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] On your marks, go....
[Michelle:] A man.
[Eric:] Raindrops.
[Michelle:] Skirt.
[Eric:] Er snowing.
[Kevin:] Hand, tennis court erm... loudhailer. Erm
[Eric:] Pair of dolls.
[Kevin:] Music. Singing.
[Eric:] Tennis.
[Kevin:] Coach.
[Michelle:] Recorder.
[Kevin:] Erm erm
[Michelle:] Er referee. Erm.
[Kevin:] Ref. Here we go again, she's off.
[Eric:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Erm
[Michelle:] Blood. It's a Oh yes erm... a conductor. Conducting. Orchestra. Yes.
[Kevin:] Aah! music.
[Paul:] [scream]
[Michelle:] Conducting an orchestra.
[Kevin:] Erm erm.
[Michelle:] Orchestrate. Symphony.
[Eric:] Play. Orchestra.
[Paul:] [scream] Come one, anything else.
[Kevin:] Choir.
[Michelle:] Said choir.. Oh
[Eric:] Symphony. Erm philharmonic orchestra.
[Kevin:] Chamber music.
[Eric:] Philharmonic.
[Kevin:] Opera singer.
[Michelle:] Miss classic music.
[Kevin:] Erm
[Michelle:] Erm
[Kevin:] Classical. Violinist.
[Eric:] Er percussion.
[Kevin:] Soloist.
[Paul:] Got everything but.
[Eric:] Don't listen to them mother, draw.
[Joy:] I can't. I've forgotten what it was. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Tenor. Erm baritone.
[Ruth:] Run out.
[Paul:] Concert.
[Michelle:] Concert!
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] What are these then?
[Joy:] That's the people playing on the violin for the orchestra.
[Ruth:] And you missed your go so it's Eric.
[Kevin:] Thank goodness for that, they didn't get it.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] to catch up then.
[Ruth:] Blue.
[Paul:] Er
[Eric:] We're on a white dot all play.
[Ruth:] you're on your own.
[Eric:] On our own.
[Ruth:] Good chance to catch up.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joy:] How many words?
[Kevin:] I'll let you draw it, right.
[Michelle:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] Cut it out you two [].
[Paul:] Is it all play?
[Ruth:] Ready, go.
[Eric:] Oh no, on our, on our own.
[Paul:] What is it? Oh what is it?
[Ruth:] Blue.
[Michelle:] It's blue.
[Adrian:] Oh we've got to have one on our own. What a nerve.
[Ruth:] They won't get it. [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] Erm how do you do
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] What is it?
[Paul:] Start then.
[Kevin:] Brown is it?
[Ruth:] It's an object.
[Michelle:] It's blue.
[Ruth:] Blue. It's an object.
[Joy:] He done us proud. That's
[Paul:] I know what I would do.
[Kevin:] Sounds like
[Ruth:] Don't... well I suppose you can help them, yeah.
[Joy:] No.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eric:] Er
[Adrian:] Book.
[Paul:] Definitely know what I'd do.
[Joy:] File. Erm...
[Paul:] Can I whisper something in his ear?
[Ruth:] No!
[Paul:] Oh go on. He's miles behind.
[Ruth:] No....
[Joy:] Sounds like...
[Kevin:] Mm?...
[Michelle:] Somebody... what?
[Kevin:] No on the word you showed me how it could possibly
[Michelle:] I'm a good drawer.
[Ruth:] What?
[Joy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Michelle:] Oh yes.
[Kevin:] Done.
[Michelle:] What is it?
[Paul:] I'll draw it.
[Kevin:] Rag.
[Paul:] Rag. I would have done a car with somebody holding it
[Michelle:] Rag?
[Eric:] Yes, this is tag. Sounds like
[Joy:] I I I honestly, look what he's drawn me [LAUGHTER] for rag [].
[Kevin:] Yes rag is quite... funny isn't it? It's
[Ruth:] For action
[Eric:] I did a tag.
[Kevin:] It's brown is it?
[Eric:] And a and a suitcase with a tag on it.
[Joy:] confuses me.
[Eric:] Well it sounds like You said you didn't think it sounds like r rag. Well what's thing here with a hole in it?
[Ruth:] Ready steady go.
[Eric:] Tag. How do you draw a tag?
[Paul:] I hope you get this
[Joy:] I thought you said dancer.
[Eric:] No sounds like. Well that's a mag.
[Joy:] Sounds like. Waves, waving.
[Eric:] A mag... magazine.
[Joy:] Oh my god
[Paul:] Be quiet
[Ruth:] word with ing on the end. Rippling.
[Kevin:] That's it.
[Paul:] Yeah that's it.
[Kevin:] good.
[Ruth:] Thank you. Your go.
[Eric:] Do you want another piece of paper?
[Kevin:] No. We're coming up, we're coming up. Here we come.
[Ruth:] sixteen. My turn to draw
[Paul:] A long long way to go though.
[Ruth:] Difficult.
[Eric:] Well look where we are then. [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] And we're on our own.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Ready steady... go.
[Eric:] Oh they're on their own. That's lucky.
[Ruth:] It's a
[Adrian:] One word?
[Eric:] Manuscript.
[Adrian:] Er tent erm
[Paul:] They won't get that.
[Eric:] What is it? What colour?
[Paul:] You have to be a fairly good drawer
[Adrian:] Man.
[Paul:] else they'll start scribbling. [LAUGHTER]
[Adrian:] Hieroglyphics. Erm alphabet, pen, calligrapher.
[Paul:] It's hard.
[Eric:] Very good
[Adrian:] Shorthand, pitman ty erm my gawd we've got a door. Er er... we've got a lot of squiggles on that door.
[Eric:] You're gonna get some... you're gonna get some on it in a minute too if you don't up.
[Adrian:] erm erm Chisler. Erm... what do they call it.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] Not quite.
[Adrian:] Sculptor.
[Ruth:] No, not quite.
[Adrian:] Erm grey stone er
[Paul:] Dad. Dad.
[Kevin:] How does she know looking at, that's funny, that's from someone's subconscious. How would you know that that was a footballer? Alright? I mean
[Paul:] But I I would have said somebody like that
[Kevin:] it's weird. That someone could get half the question right.
[Paul:] He doesn't look like a football shirt on. And it looked modern. It looks like a modern photograph to me.
[Kevin:] It was taken about nine it was when he was eighteen. It was about nineteen fifty eight.
[Paul:] Good looking though isn't he?...
[Kevin:] hair.
[Paul:] How did manage to get that... Rupert bear?
[Ruth:] Easy. Eric,
[Paul:] I got that, got that Eric thought it was a lion.
[Kevin:] Oh no.
[Ruth:] He did.
[Paul:] I got that straight away....
[Ruth:] Oh your mum's
[Paul:] A policeman?...
[Kevin:] So can somebody find me the other one and I'll looks, oh that's alright. That's okay. I have got two.
[Paul:] Well this one....
[Kevin:] I need, can you find that, oh I bet I've thrown that other one.... Mind you that's the only one I can't
[Paul:] Oh this is... that was, that was a...
[Kevin:] You didn't like the Africa one? Too hard.
[Paul:] No. Too hard. You you should have done... counties of England.
[Kevin:] Yeah, that would have been a good one.
[Paul:] That would have been... good interesting and funny.
[Kevin:] Ruthie got five marks for that didn't she? No, she didn't get as many as you expect.
[Paul:] I got Sudan one. Nobody else got that.
[Kevin:] Ruthie is that one reserved for your mum, or can I take that one to the office?... Si at the supermarket. Oh
[Paul:] Oh we. We all had our go right? I, I guessed... I got Sudan... I don't know how Michelle managed to get Tunisia... no-one else got that. She got Tunisia all had a guess
[Kevin:] Well french speaking I wonder if french speaking
[Ruth:] Tunisia I would have got it.
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Ruth:] But I didn't think of it.
[Kevin:] It's french speaking. I wonder whether she's had a holiday there....
[Paul:] There's Morocco we should have got. We forgot about that.
[Kevin:] Yes she should have got those. French Morocco. Yeah Morocco and Algiers, Tunisia and Algiers are all French, French African... colonies.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] So she would have done that in her geography. Geography, see Michelle should have... I was conscious that perhaps Michelle was gonna be a bit out of that bit, some of those
[Ruth:] Well so was Mutty. Thank goodness we didn't put Michael with them.
[Kevin:] Yes. That's what I said. That's why I moved Michael away. I said that's why I thought... she had you and Mi Michael with Mootty and Michelle. I said no, we've gotta
[Paul:] Well, I thought Michelle was
[Kevin:] I said you've got to put Paulie in there to balance it up a bit. Lucky he did cos Michael just shoved off didn't he?
[Ruth:] Well I was, unfortunately he didn't really balance it up enough did he?
[Kevin:] No, not quite.
[Paul:] I couldn't. I mean I, I... I didn't know all those. I mean I got the Maxwell I mean I think Mum got that.
[Ruth:] No, I didn't.
[Kevin:] Did Paulie's team come last then?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Yeah. By a long, quite a long way though.
[Paul:] There was nothing I could have done though. I mean I didn't know all those things.... this is why Karen and Adrian won, forgetting John Wayne like that. I mean they're going
[Kevin:] I I I suspected that anybody with Karen was gonna win. I think Karen was, Karen was just
[Ruth:] ?
[Kevin:] No no
[Paul:] Didn't get that was Ernest Saunders. I mean I recognized his face.... Bernard Manning.... That was good, how they got those.
[Ruth:] Right, tape seven....
[Paul:] I thought I was quite good. I mean... mum wasn't that good was she because she I mean
[Ruth:] Freely admit I'm hopeless.
[Paul:] General knowledge mum would have good. But either your questions, they weren't general knowledge... were they? They were things you know like sports and what happens
[Ruth:] Couldn't people put cocktail sticks in the bin. I've come across cocktail sticks all night.
[Paul:] Why don't they? I put mine in the bin.
[Kevin:] Oh I don't put them in the bin.
[Paul:] ... they're so hard to put in the bin aren't they? and then forget about them.... Well I never think What? I think they're doing quite well on those tapes.
[Kevin:] Well have I got any presents to come tomorrow? I haven't now have I?
[Ruth:] Not from me.
[Paul:] Mine.
[Ruth:] Might have got er
[Kevin:] Oh Paulie's.
[Ruth:] but not a present. Something from
[Paul:] You've got some cards haven't you?
[Ruth:] my sister.
[Paul:] And you've got my one.... Other than that, no.
[Kevin:] Oh well wicked dude.
[Paul:] You those bird tables every time you go past on the way to Palace don't you?
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Paul:] I was really hoping you weren't going to buy one
[Ruth:] Paul....
[Paul:] Did you see how much they were? Only twenty four pounds.
[Kevin:] I know. I bet
[Paul:] I'm glad you don't know how much ours was.
[Ruth:] I don't know what's been spilt on here. Ugh something disgusting.
[Kevin:] Where did you hide that? Where did you go to get?
[Paul:] garage.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Ruth:] Got it at
[Paul:] That was expensive though.
[Kevin:] How long ago did you have to buy that?
[Ruth:] Weeks
[Paul:] Ages ago.
[Ruth:] Soon as I got paid last month.
[Paul:] I went with her... after school.
[Kevin:] You got it in the garage? magic yeah
[Ruth:] Awfully difficult to get it in the car wasn't it?
[Kevin:] I was gonna say.
[Ruth:] It was much bigger than I thought it would be.... Can you dry the inside of that for me?... Both sides of that. That has to dry before it gets
[Paul:] What happened? Michael constantly spilt things. I know.
[Kevin:] Did you see, yeah he got, you know his duvet, your duvet's in? What's he gonna sleep under?
[Ruth:] I didn't know it was the duvet duvet.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Well bring it down and put it in the wash now then.
[Kevin:] He has.
[Paul:] I have. I'm hu I've hung the actual oth other bit up.
[Ruth:] The whole duvet or the cover or what?
[Paul:] The whole duvet.
[Ruth:] Well I'd better put the duvet in the wash then.
[Paul:] It's alright, it's hanging up.
[Ruth:] Well it'll be wet. What has he spilt?
[Paul:] I think, I dunno. Red Rock Cider or something like that. I don't know what he was drinking. It wasn't coke..
[Ruth:] I think those are the new extra life. I think they're both dead.
[Paul:] It wasn't that's all I know.
[Ruth:] It wasn't coke?
[Paul:] It was something er weird
[Ruth:] lemonade base. Bring me the duvet
[Paul:] I think it was lemonade base Red Rock. It looked like the Red Rock that I've had.
[Ruth:] Bring me the duvet and let's have a look at it....
[Paul:] Oh... oh and my project could so easily have been ruined.
[Kevin:] Oh I know. You'd have been.
[Paul:] All that work.... And then... I had to clear clear it all up.... I suppose I offered because it was my.
[Kevin:] Did he sa did he say sorry?
[Paul:] Er... not... well he did I suppose. Ah it's dried off mostly mum. Okay.I'm really really really gonna do this.... Are these Christmas cards? Mum?
[Kevin:] Yeah she was quite proud of old Paulie though cos he, he stays and plays and... all the other two just keep wandering off don't they? I mean I suppose
[Ruth:] Where did we buy this?
[Paul:] I we allowed to open our Christmas cards?
[Ruth:] The glass is chipped.
[Kevin:] No.
[Paul:] Oh. mine.
[Ruth:] Is it off?
[Kevin:] No, don't think so.. Chipped... oh yeah.
[Ruth:] it's dirty but...
[Kevin:] Well it's cheap and cheerful but I was keeping it, you know within your budget.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] You bought me both those within the budget?
[Paul:] Oh you're recording mum. Okay I'll keep all my... Christmas cards somewhere.... Mum.
[Ruth:] What?
[Paul:] I'll have to... you've gotta... give me chance to buy papa and grandma's... grandpa's... and I can wrap them up and give them to them at the golden wedding or can't I?
[Ruth:] No, what? Whose? Grandma and grandpa?
[Paul:] Grandma's and grandpa's and nana's and papa's.
[Kevin:] I've got a few days I can go into work disco poster, I've gotta do this and that. Not this month, it's all gone now you can clear that off.......
[Ruth:] Nothing.
[Kevin:] What's that mean? Number eight three 0 three.
[Ruth:] That means number three's got party.
[Kevin:] Eh?...
[Ruth:] Num number number three he's got a party. Number three at eight thirty....
[Kevin:] Oh.... What for? Oh you
[Ruth:] No it doesn't matter, I'll take Paul. Monday Tuesday Wednesday are free.... Next weekend. He was shoved down the steps.
[Kevin:] Who by?
[Ruth:] Palace fans.
[Kevin:] No!
[Ruth:] He was. Very very rough he said.... He was standing with a whole load of Palace supporters.
[Kevin:] What, she had a Manchester United scarf on did she?
[Ruth:] They both did....
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Ruth:] Anyway
[Kevin:] It stands to reason that you're gonna
[Ruth:] not pleased. Well
[Kevin:] get the more yobbo-y fans standing than the ones sitting. That's right? We had Palace... Manchester United people sitting round us and there was no problem were there Paul? I mean, they have a dig, we have a dig at each other like you're talking and you you you talk, you know like you used to do? Talk... to the next person but really you're talking to there say and they do it back to you, but... erm... Oh so he didn't, he won't be going again then?
[Ruth:] Think he was quite cross....
[Paul:] So where was he standing?
[Kevin:] You should put it in context though. Ten years ago he wouldn't have dreamt of doing that at all, would he?
[Ruth:] No.
[Kevin:] Right? If you'd gone into a, with an opposing team's colours... into a standing zone... police wouldn't have let you go in there let alone wa you wanting to go there. They'd come out half dead.
[Paul:] So what did they do to them?
[Ruth:] Pushed them downstairs, pushed them both downstairs.
[Paul:] What in
[Kevin:] They literally pushed them down the stairs?
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Paul:] What in that, all that... that that ground they pushed them down the stairs during the game?
[Ruth:] during the game. It was probably after wasn't it? [talking with mouth full] Moira said... she didn't tell me all of it but Moira said he was very upset.... Peter said it was a good game... [LAUGHTER] when they came home and found that Woking had won five nil they thought they'd chosen the wrong one [].
[Paul:] Who... Terry?
[Ruth:] Peter.
[Paul:] What was Ian like?
[Ruth:] ...
[Paul:] I don't think they should pay, pay.
[Ruth:] You going to football tomorrow night?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Oh....
[Paul:] I never heard, are we going with Michael?
[Kevin:] No....
[Ruth:] Homework.
[Paul:] You offered didn't you?
[Ruth:] Homework.
[Kevin:] Half
[Paul:] Dad?
[Kevin:] half, yeah.
[Ruth:] Are we being recorded?
[Paul:] No.... Oh yes, we are being recorded. Yes we are being recorded, yes.
[Ruth:] Paul, have you done your homework?
[Paul:] Not really. Sort of. Maybe. Could have done...
[Ruth:] Go on, have some flan.
[Paul:] Don't like the flan.
[Ruth:] Oh go on.
[Paul:] I don't really like it.
[Ruth:] Oh Paul!
[Paul:] I tried a bit. I don't like it one little bit. It's not nice.
[Ruth:] Have some rice then.
[Paul:] It makes you see in the dark....
[Ruth:] Have some rice then.
[Paul:] This is the other rice. I What
[Ruth:] There's white rice in the other bowl.
[Paul:] Cold?
[Ruth:] Mhm.
[Paul:] Why?... We usually have hot rice. Boil in the bag. So has it been cooked?... So did you speak to Terry about the game?
[Ruth:] Not really.
[Paul:] Did John when they scored?
[Ruth:] He said got very nasty when they scored two goals within two minutes... around
[Paul:] Hear no evil, think no evil, do no I dunno.... [tv on]
[Ruth:] Can you explain the other one to me? Least mine's explicable....
[Kevin:] Hear no, no, hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil, which leaves do no evil available.
[Ruth:] Do you understand it?
[Kevin:] talking to self Hear no evil speak no evil... hear no evil see no evil speak no evil...
[Ruth:] Do you understand it?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] What?
[Kevin:] Well it's the only available e evil that's left.
[Ruth:] But it said do no.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] What... that doesn't make sense....
[Kevin:] Ah Paulie 's card. That was a nice one.... Paulie didn't get that on his own did he? Take that, no that, no!
[Paul:] [scream]
[Kevin:] Oy. Come on, off.... Ruthie!
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] What? []
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] I'll break Paulie's arm.
[Ruth:] Look, there's three minutes to go before the news.
[Paul:] No... get off, get off [cries] get off Ah get off [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Oh my watch! If that's broken, you're paying.
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] If that's broken I'm paying nowt with nowt taken out. [LAUGHTER]....
[Ruth:] Does this mean we didn't get the whole of London's Burning?
[Kevin:] I don't know Ruthie.... Bailiff's dead.
[Ruth:] Is he? Did he die?
[Kevin:] Mm... here's 'Arry, here's 'Arry boy.... Oh he's singing [singing in funny voice]....
[Paul:] Look mum, dad. You've got a hammer.
[Kevin:] I'm missing my news.
[Ruth:] I bet you're not.
[Paul:] Look, mum. You've got a hammer.
[Kevin:] Yeah I know.
[Ruth:] Oh yeah. Let's have a bit.
[Paul:] have a hammer. tools. [shouting] Watch out [] leave it at that please mum I wanna watch... Oh go on! Be a devil. She's tucking in to your toffee.
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Paul:] But she banging it.
[Kevin:] You have to bang it Ruthie. Bang it with the paper on it then it won't go all over the place.
[Ruth:] It's all about... American poets.
[Paul:] Fire away.
[Ruth:] Tell me any American poet you know....
[Paul:] Brian Patten
[Ruth:] He's not American is he?
[Kevin:] [shouting] Paulie's making it all up [].
[Ruth:] Is Brian Patten American?
[Paul:] Geoffrey Chaucer.
[Kevin:] There you are. He's ma, he's he's er squitting It's complete squit He's been exposed.
[Ruth:] What about one Eric something.
[Paul:] Eric McGraw....
[Ruth:] What's an anagram of times to?...
[Paul:] What? How's it spelt?
[Ruth:] T I M E S T O.
[Paul:] Let's have a look.... ... Rather!...
[Ruth:] What's a religious container?...
[Paul:] How many words?
[Ruth:] One word, eleven letters.
[Paul:] ...
[Ruth:] Take it away from me.
[Paul:] Take it... do you want a bit dad?
[Kevin:] No thank you....
[Paul:] small bit....
[Ruth:] Name a game with four letters ending in O....
[Kevin:] Solo.
[Ruth:] Polo?
[Kevin:] Solo....
[Ruth:] Yeah I know but... it says game for a change.... It's game for a change.
[Paul:] ...
[Kevin:] Polo, solo...
[Paul:] Rollo....
[Ruth:] That's not a game!...
[Paul:] Dolo, scolo... does it have to be O L O?
[Ruth:] No....
[Paul:] Could be
[Ruth:] Game for a change. Might be an anagram of for a.... Faro, look up F A R O....
[Paul:] Mm?
[Ruth:] Look up F A R O.... What country's that Kevin?
[Kevin:] This is Italy.
[Ruth:] Doesn't look like Italy....
[Paul:] No such word. Oh yes there is. A game of chance played by betting on the order appearance of certain cards.
[Ruth:] Thank you.
[Paul:] How did you get that?
[Kevin:] What was that?
[Ruth:] Faro. Ridiculous! We're having a whole day next term to sort out testing for the eleven year olds. Which is a total waste of time cos they'll rewrite it all in a year's time.
[Paul:] Oh I'll go and. We're having Christmas dinner.
[Ruth:] Oh thank you Paul.
[Kevin:] Paulie, bring me in my, my or has it gone upstairs? Can you... go upstairs, it's in... Si's bedroom for us?
[Paul:] I am certain to have
[Kevin:] Si's room.
[Paul:] ...
[Ruth:] Do you want this lunch then Paul?
[Paul:] No.
[Ruth:] You don't want it?
[Kevin:] Paul come on. Don't be silly.
[Paul:] Oh what! up there to get it for you. Not me.
[Kevin:] Mm. Mm.
[Ruth:] Paul.
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] Do you want christmas lunch?... One pound eighty five, do you want it?
[Paul:] I don't really know
[Ruth:] That's illiterate. The cost is not one pound eighty five pence. The cost is one pound eighty five.... Do you want it?... Turkey, quiche or packed lunch. You'll have turkey won't you? Turkey with all the trimmings?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Yeah? Good.
[Paul:] But that's not the ti, the day we break up though is it?
[Ruth:] No.
[Paul:] Why are we going home at two... two o'clock then?... Mum.... Mum.
[Ruth:] I don't know. What form are you in?... There's no money in my purse. Has anyone got any change?
[Paul:] Oh, you give the money now?
[Ruth:] Yeah.... Well, by Friday. You have to be joking.
[Paul:] It's Sunday morning so I didn't want to do it.
[Ruth:] Right.
[Paul:] I was asked though. They said I was good.
[Ruth:] Have you got any money? What [LAUGHTER] to play rugby []?
[Paul:] Personally asked.
[Ruth:] Kevin. Paul was personally asked if he wanted to join [LAUGHTER] a rugby club [].
[Paul:] I'm wicked at rugby. I'm well skilful. Nobody else was asked.
[Kevin:] Blimey. Did he have a white cane?
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Eh?
[Paul:] Like we watched Right we had... had this... like we had er... ten minutes rugby of the world cup like and this guy... he went whoooo ah. And then when we went out right, we had to do a tackle, you know a big tackle bag. We had to go boom like. Right... while
[Ruth:] Have you got any idea what he's talking about?
[Kevin:] No.
[Paul:] he had this big red bag, you had to tackle it.
[Kevin:] Yeah I know what it is, yeah.
[Paul:] Right, and it's about A there okay? And he said aim for that A. Andrew comes up. Andrew [LAUGHTER] jumped up, holds on to it, was standing with two [].
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Then along comes somebody else, I've forgotten his name. I think it was Philip or something. And he comes up, kicks it, goes boom. Hits it so low, he knocks it off and he comes down the wrong way and lands on top of us. I did a beautiful. Come in, dive in... boom on the A, excellent tackle.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Yeah because you'd watched how the other two. In other words you get into the rugby team because you happened to go third instead of fourth.
[Paul:] I did another one right
[Ruth:] Paul, was this in your lunch hour or in P E?
[Paul:] P E right. The lady like, you know you have to hold it and let it go right. The lady was holding it like that... I run up, I go ooh bang [LAUGHTER] and it goes [].
[Ruth:] Are you allowed to laugh in your P E lessons?
[Kevin:] Can you imagine anybody being hit by Paulie going...?
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] Sorry, no! []
[Kevin:] What was he, a pygmy or something?
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] Anybody less suited to play rugby, Paul, is hard to imagine.
[Kevin:] No.
[Paul:] Stubby was good. Old good old Stubby. Stubby himself.
[Kevin:] Not Stubby Wilkins?
[Paul:] Stubby.
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] Stubby. It like something out of Bu Billy Bunter doesn't it? [].
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER].
[Ruth:] What's the old country, Kevin?
[Kevin:] Eh?
[Ruth:] What's the old country?... Talk about the old country, what is it?
[Kevin:] In what context? Give me a context.
[Ruth:] Anything. The old country, you know. When people say old... the old country. Is it England?
[Kevin:] Yeah think so.
[Paul:] Stubby. His name's Stubby.... Brilliant. I think Andrew's was the funniest where he just jumps up, goes woof
[Ruth:] What were you meant to do?
[Paul:] Right. There's this big red bag. It had said four A's, four A's
[Ruth:] Name some types of leather?
[Paul:] It had A's up there.
[Kevin:] Pigskin.
[Paul:] And Andrew, he wasn't started so he jumped
[Ruth:] More.
[Paul:] and sort of went like this and landed on it and went bang down.
[Ruth:] More.
[Kevin:] Hide.
[Paul:] He really came down like this. He was rolling all over the floor
[Ruth:] More.
[Paul:] . Then I came up. Stubby sent it for six. He comes, he goes poof. He knocks it and he goes woof. But the lady's such a wimp though. lady or how you call them.
[Ruth:] What's raw fish?
[Paul:] Salmon.... Disgusting. Pukey, I dunno. What's it begin with?
[Ruth:] They're not, they're cryptic clues.
[Paul:] Okay. What's a raw fish. What's a raw fish not, not a good spot.
[Ruth:] Who wrote Leaves of?
[Paul:] Nobody. It's anonymous.
[Ruth:] that word?
[Paul:] It was anonymous. Anonymous.
[Ruth:] Get your homework done Paul please.
[Paul:] Eric.... Well that's Eric Wheeler. I can see Wheeler in there.
[Ruth:] Oh I don't think it is.
[Paul:] Well I'm so brilliant. I should know.... Also what's happened to my book? It's disappeared hasn't it?... Mum.
[Ruth:] Well you can't have it.
[Paul:] my
[Ruth:] Paul! You can't have it. You work on that table. Put that table like, hang on to that... no, sit up at that table.
[Paul:] Why can't I
[Ruth:] Just do as you're told.
[Paul:] Why can't I
[Ruth:] Do as you're told.
[Paul:] Oh please!... Go on.
[Ruth:] No. [shouting] No [].
[Kevin:] Ooh there's a horrible bit coming up... where she bounces off a white, they use a white car, it's disgusting.... One of Mike's friends
[Ruth:] What?
[Kevin:] her sister committed suicide. I reckon she watched this. She was cooking the meal, right? Cooking the evening meal, her husband's left her but has been pestering her or something. And erm... she's just cooking the meal and she went upstairs... went into her son's bedroom, got his belt and hung herself... and her children coming back from school and find that. Lovely thing to do to your child. Doesn't matter how desperate.
[Paul:] Who, who hung herself? Who hung herself?
[Kevin:] Mike's... friend's... sister. And Mike's friend's sister... said... that if this husband comes to the funeral he's gonna... swing for him. He's gonna go for him. Gonna assault him....
[Paul:] Who, Mike's friend?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] How old is Mike's friend?
[Kevin:] And the dad of the wo woman says... not if I get to him first.
[Ruth:] Blimey.... You don't think of your children to do something like that do you?
[Kevin:] How can you, could you do that if you've got... I mean he's about twelve or thirteen comes home from school
[Ruth:] on tranquillisers because the balance of your mind is disturbed.
[Kevin:] Must be....
[Ruth:] Is that the bit of the body I think it is?
[Paul:] It's a knee....
[Ruth:] Well shall we just see that again?
[Kevin:] I thought you weren't meant to let them sleep on their fronts like that....
[Ruth:] Well you're not really.... It's up to you. Paulie always slept on his front... and he's alive to tell the tale unfortunately.... Do you know any American poets?
[Paul:] I just told you, Eric Wheeler. You know when I do A squared, do I write four squared as well... four?
[Ruth:] No. What's that?
[Paul:] I don't really do, do I? I do
[Ruth:] A squared which is two times two equals four.
[Paul:] What about an A with a little little three, a little little three, a little little three.
[Ruth:] That's two times two times two.
[Paul:] It's A times A times A.
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Paul:] So there. Two times two is four... times two is eight. A four. Eight times two is sixteen.... C two [makes ooh-ing noise]
[Ruth:] If you're at football tonight can't do any recording tomorrow night or will you record on the way again?
[Paul:] I don't really know.
[Kevin:] record on the way again, can't we?... No problem.
[Paul:] Actually we're doing quite well with that tape recorder. We didn't, we've done two sides already now, tonight.
[Kevin:] Leave your nails alone.
[Ruth:] Well I can't see the television. Why did you move the chair back where I left it? You moved the chair.
[Kevin:] Why don't you sit in that seat?
[Paul:] Mum, this seat is lovely if you lean back.... It wasn't him, it was that ginger haired woman cos she always takes the
[Ruth:] Go on.
[Paul:] mushrooms.... What's sixteen times four mum? Mum.
[Ruth:] Six four.
[Paul:] No....
[Ruth:] Are you allowed to transact business at the door Paul?
[Paul:] That's fantastic. I've just started doing all this... and I'm supposed to be doing section H. Well done mum... for reading that out wrongly to me.
[Ruth:] What are you doing?...
[Paul:] Section A? H nine. You start up A squared don't you?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Why? That's section G.
[Ruth:] Oh aren't you going to do section G?
[Paul:] Oh this is
[Kevin:] Oh mum!
[Ruth:] Well it won't hurt
[Paul:] Mum!
[Ruth:] you to do section G.
[Paul:] [shouting] section H [].
[Ruth:] It won't hurt you to do G.
[Paul:] I'm supposed to do section H and section I.
[Ruth:] Well will it matter if you do G?
[Paul:] I don't really know. It might. It might not. I might jump in the lake, I don't really know.
[Kevin:] You might get an extra merit mark if you do an extra session.
[Ruth:] I don't really know.
[Paul:] I don't!
[Ruth:] I don't really know.
[Paul:] Oh fantastic! That's a great lot of help you are.
[Ruth:] It'll do you good to do G....
[Paul:] It won't do me good to do pipsqueak questions....
[Ruth:] If they're pipsqueak why are you asking me?
[Paul:] I'm not... Two A three. Two A means two times two is four.
[Ruth:] No it doesn't. Two times A cubed....
[Paul:] So what is it?...
[Ruth:] What's A cubed? It's eight, so it's sixteen.
[Paul:] Mm?... Two B two C.... Now then... Two B. Two B squared C?
[Ruth:] Yeah that's what I already said.
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] Don't forget
[Paul:] Two B little two with a C after it.
[Ruth:] Two B squared C?...
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] Show me.... What G seven? Two B squared C. Well what's C?... B, you do the square bit first. B squared.
[Paul:] Oh.... Nine.
[Ruth:] Right. Times two.
[Paul:] Eighteen.
[Ruth:] Times C.... Eighteen times C.
[Paul:] Eighteen times what?
[Ruth:] Times two.
[Paul:] I knew that.... What, and was it seventy two?
[Ruth:] Mm.... Come on Paul. Get it done. You're supposed to be sitting up at the table. That's what the table's there for....
[Paul:] Four A two B. I don't understand how to do these.
[Ruth:] You do the A squared bit first....
[Paul:] Two squared is...
[Ruth:] Four. Times four.
[Paul:] Sixteen.
[Ruth:] Times C....
[Paul:] Sixteen times three? Is forty eight.
[Ruth:] Mm.... What are horse's odds Kevin?
[Kevin:] You what?
[Ruth:] What are horse's odds?
[Kevin:] Horse's odds.
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Kevin:] What are they?
[Ruth:] Well what could they be in letters?... Evens?
[Kevin:] is it a?
[Paul:] I don't really know.
[Kevin:] No letters?
[Paul:] Ah. Right outside our house. Father Christmas is
[Ruth:] What is it?
[Paul:] walking around....
[Kevin:] Well you'd better get some money ready then hadn't you?
[Ruth:] I haven't got a penny in my purse....
[Kevin:] There's a pound upstairs Paulie. Have a look upstairs. Hurry up. Quick
[Paul:] and no-one's singing.
[Ruth:] Who's it for?
[Kevin:] That's a milkfloat isn't it?
[Ruth:] Effective isn't it?... [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Who is it, Rotary?
[Ruth:] Yeah it's Round Table... for the old people.... Bit early I agree but
[Kevin:] See what they've done they've waited for December haven't they? It's rather crafty and they're gonna do it every night. Well I bet they go on every night until
[Ruth:] go out stop it again Paul.
[Paul:] Bang. Bang....
[Kevin:] Oh Paul get on with your job....
[Ruth:] I asked you for your one pound eighty five and you said no.... You pay, I'll pay you back. paper I can have Paulie?
[Paul:] I don't really. So three A two mum, what do I do first?... The A two?
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Paul:] So I do two... squared is four... times the three? Mum?... Mum.... Three A two. A equals two, two times two is four times three?
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Paul:] Oh.... Times four B so I keep it. Twelve plus four B?
[Ruth:] What's B?
[Paul:] Three.
[Ruth:] Well it's twelve plus twelve....
[Paul:] That's twenty four.... Twenty four's the answer?
[Ruth:] so... American... poets.
[Paul:] I told you Eric Wheeler. I'm not gonna keep saying that one.
[Ruth:] It isn't Eric. It's E something L something.
[Paul:] Eldric....
[Ruth:] Doesn't fit!
[Paul:] Mum guess
[Ruth:] What's colloquial for greens?
[Paul:] Pulses.
[Ruth:] three letters.
[Kevin:] Greens is in golf isn't it? Greens?
[Ruth:] What is it G A B A V E?...
[Kevin:] What's he doing
[Ruth:] Golf, what do you play on? Golf
[Paul:] Well don't let him in yet.
[Ruth:] course
[Kevin:] going?
[Ruth:] tee.
[Paul:] Minus twelve.
[Ruth:] What's minus twelve?
[Paul:] got to answer the question... forty eight minus sixty. Is it minus twelve?
[Ruth:] Surely it's forty eight times sixty.... Is it M A and U minus twelve?
[Paul:] It's N... cubed minus M N U. N is four t N
[Ruth:] Four fours are sixteen. Sixteen fours are sixty four.
[Paul:] What! You said forty eight!
[Ruth:] You asked me what sixteen threes are....
[Paul:] Oh! Sixteen. So it's four, the answer.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] He's a dreadful actor isn't he?
[Kevin:] No well... suppose
[Ruth:] Well
[Kevin:] he's doing that quite well. I mean what he's done what the director's telling him to do.
[Ruth:] Well yes. Yeah.... It's a crummy part isn't it? [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Utter rubbish. This isn't London fire oh... can you re- run that please?
[Ruth:] Well I don't think we want to see that do we?
[Paul:] Oh I l I l I like looking at it that's the main thing.
[Ruth:] Oh!
[Paul:] Please.
[Kevin:] It's better going up... than down.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []. Yeeeow.... Yeeeow. It's the same thing over again on two. Yeeeow. And again yeeeow. Four times.
[Paul:] That's when it came down on him.
[Ruth:] That's the end.
[Paul:] That last one... was when it came down on him wasn't it? That was his view.
[Ruth:] Oh dear.
[Paul:] Bang.
[Ruth:] Ooh.
[Paul:] Hot spot. What is a hot spot is not a good spot.
[Ruth:] Aren't you a bit early for chrissy decorations isn't it?... our tree when send for it.... Made eight hundred and fifty quid on Saturday.... Hundred down. Joyce said their fare was a hundred down as well.
[Kevin:] How was sorry what was... how much?
[Ruth:] We made eight fifty... that's a hundred down but Joyce said their fare was a hundred down as well.
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Ruth:] The people who used to get a thousand aren't quite... getting a thousand any more.
[Paul:] Mum! Erm... what is three M squared U?
[Ruth:] Three M squared U?... M squared first... M squared first!
[Kevin:] Hello, we're at fisticuffs here.... [brookside]
[Ruth:] Except his cop badge....
[Paul:] What is M squared mum? I'm cracking up....
[Ruth:] [sigh]
[Paul:] M equals three....
[Ruth:] Three squared is nine. Nine threes are twenty seven. What's U?
[Paul:] Five.
[Ruth:] Twenty seven fives?
[Kevin:] Paulie's burnt out like that fireman, look. He's got... algebra fatigue. He's gone.
[Paul:] Come on mum! A hundred and thirty five, use your maths.
[Kevin:] You, she shouldn't be using her maths! You should be doing it. I just did! A hundred and thirty five!
[Ruth:] What's the problem then?
[Paul:] Don't understand how it looks.
[Ruth:] Can someone please tell me the names of some American poets!
[Kevin:] We don't know any.
[Paul:] [shouting] Is that the answer? A hundred and thirty five? []
[Ruth:] Might be.
[Paul:] Oh.... [shouting] Come on [].
[Ruth:] [sigh] What is a fabled being? A unicorn, what else?... a fabled being.
[Paul:] I don't know. Perhaps it's... a rug.
[Kevin:] Oh look. It's me favourite.
[Paul:] Or... or dad or
[Ruth:] Ugh!
[Paul:] or a rug. Or
[Kevin:] What ugh?
[Paul:] Geoffrey Archer or magic Johnson
[Ruth:] with a stick?
[Kevin:] No.
[Paul:] or Ian Maxwell or a video recorder or a packet of hula hoops. You're not helping?...
[Ruth:] I've never got so... I've never not got so far with this crossword.
[Paul:] interesting. Dad can I ask you seeing she's totally void of any brains.
[Kevin:] Yeah I can knock it, I'll knock it home. Oh look! The watch on the right there they both get smashed but the one on the back will cost you... the one on the right will cost you as much to replace its glass as the one on the left completely. You think the other one's gonna be alright but of course they both get smashed.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] But the one on the right... it's glass will cost you more to replace than the complete
[Ruth:] Beware of an expensive imitation.
[Paul:] Okay dad.
[Kevin:] They're good because that's the company you bought me
[Paul:] Dad... the one with the brain can I ask you?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Paul:] And the one with the sense of humour and the one that actually
[Ruth:] Daddy can't do algebra.
[Paul:] Well you can't either obviously, can you? You can only do it when you're in the right mood.... Three Q R squared.
[Ruth:] What!
[Paul:] Three Q R squared.
[Kevin:] Three Q R squared?
[Ruth:] What's R?
[Paul:] I don't really, oh I'm looking at the wrong bit.
[Ruth:] You're not concentrating at all Paul are you?
[Paul:] Two N two M. N two first... N squared equals four... is sixteen times the two is thirty two
[Ruth:] Why don't you do it on a calculator?
[Paul:] times three... ninety six. It's against my rules to use a calculator!
[Ruth:] Well who's gonna know!
[Paul:] Make note of that brilliant word used there.
[Ruth:] What?
[Paul:] Morals.
[Ruth:] Morals. You said it's against my something else didn't you?
[Paul:] Morale, no it was a wicked word. [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Oh what a weird advert this one, look.
[Ruth:] Post in spell? Holsten... pils.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Ruth:] Stupid advert.
[Kevin:] Pil ce... not pils. Tut.
[Ruth:] Pils! It is pils. You say
[Kevin:] Pilce.
[Ruth:] can I have a pils when you go.
[Kevin:] No, you pilce. Oh you haven't gone up to a bar and asked for a pils have you?
[Ruth:] No, but you have.
[Paul:] You have.
[Kevin:] Have I.
[Paul:] You always ask for a pils....
[Ruth:] What's wrong?
[Kevin:] Oh what's he done?
[Paul:] a child minder I suppose....
[Ruth:] What goes on water?
[Paul:] A boat. Water skiers.
[Ruth:] [reading] Going on water they must stage a [].
[Paul:] It's
[Ruth:] What's another word for a brawl?...
[Kevin:] S... skirmish. Er...
[Paul:] Quarrel.... A scrap.
[Kevin:] Yeah, a scrap.
[Ruth:] Motteose
[Kevin:] Who?
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] I dunno. []
[Kevin:] A motteose?
[Ruth:] [reading] Times to find character in brawls []. I think it might be an anagram of times to.
[Kevin:] [sigh]
[Paul:] Well write it down.
[Ruth:] I'm writing it down....
[Paul:] Strike.
[Ruth:] Or perhaps it's in brawls and means.... [sigh] What's the sound of nails?... [yawn]... What are burdens?
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] What is a burden?
[Paul:] You know what burden means.
[Ruth:] Three letters.... He's in London's Burning.
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Paul:] Who? Which one?
[Ruth:] Him.
[Paul:] As who?
[Ruth:] Dunno but he is.... He's the one who's just had a breakdown.
[Kevin:] Who has?
[Paul:] No it's not.
[Ruth:] That man with a beard has just had a breakdown in London's Burning....
[Paul:] Mum
[Kevin:] What the one... no we haven't just seen him. No.
[Ruth:] Yeah with the beard off.
[Kevin:] No it's not!
[Paul:] No way!
[Kevin:] No I'm not, don't rewind it. It's not.
[Ruth:] I can't rewind it....
[Paul:] Easy to tell it's not.
[Ruth:] He's got a beard on, he's different, looks different with a beard on.
[Paul:] Mum, you think you've seen everybody before.
[Kevin:] Why is she in a huff?...
[Ruth:] She's pregnant.... Give me a first name that begins with R and ends in an H....
[Paul:] Two times one is two... yeah?
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Paul:] Plus three cubed that's two. Three times two is six, that's seven. Four R... nineteen.... P Q R. That's P times Q times R. One times two is two, times three is six...
[Kevin:] She reminds me a bit of Jen this girl. Don't think Jen would thank me for that though.
[Ruth:] No. Nor do I. Give me a three letter word for a.
[Paul:] What's wrong with her? Why, why wouldn't she thank you for that?
[Kevin:] well I dunno, well I think she's quite nice actually. Jen might think she's a bit tarty but she plays a tarty bit in it doesn't she?...
[Paul:] It's a horrible part, she.... What is one squared? One times one is one isn't it? That's one plus two times three, six. The answers six.
[Ruth:] Give me a type of weapon.
[Paul:] A gun... an arrow... er. Give me the letters. What, how many letters?
[Ruth:] Seven.
[Paul:] Er slingshot. A sword... a shield... an axe... spear er a dagger. Dagger?
[Ruth:] It's longer.
[Paul:] Don't know.
[Ruth:] I want a fabled being.
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] Fabled being.... A mythical creature.
[Paul:] Er
[Kevin:] Ha! December the second nineteen seventy one. Twenty years ago....
[Paul:] Is it deliberately supposed to be that because it's December the second today?
[Ruth:] Yeah....
[Paul:] Four P Q R mum, does that mean...
[Ruth:] It means four times P times Q times R.
[Kevin:] Oh yeah I know that.
[Ruth:] Do it for him then.
[Paul:] Four times P
[Kevin:] When the letter goes dot next to it it's multiply isn't it?
[Paul:] Dad!
[Ruth:] Dot?
[Kevin:] Well you know... next to each other like, like Q P R... that's Queens Park Rangers.
[Ruth:] Queens Park Rangers.
[Kevin:] You multiply queens by park by rangers.
[Ruth:] That's like saying six bananas times four apples. You can't do it.
[Paul:] Yes you can if you know what it is.
[Ruth:] You can't. You can't multiply four bananas by six apples.
[Paul:] But then why me to be able to do four four Q P R?
[Ruth:] Because they're different units. They're not actual things.
[Paul:] Oh stop going on about rubbish. So it's
[Ruth:] I can't do this crossword because I don't know any American poets.
[Paul:] four times one. Come on, forget about it. It's not very important.
[Ruth:] Well what's that?
[Paul:] Yes this is. It's miles more important than that.
[Kevin:] Mr will tweak his ear off if he doesn't get that done.
[Paul:] Four plus two is eight times three is sixteen... no twenty
[Ruth:] What's colloquialism for the green party?
[Paul:] Environment.
[Ruth:] Have they got any initials?
[Paul:] No seats. Yes! I've finished it.... Oh I hate maths. It's really hard, specially homework. Algebra!
[Kevin:] How many points is er... in front of you now?
[Paul:] Mm he's got... sixty one and I've got fifty four.
[Kevin:] Oh well he's just pulling away. Like if you look like er... Woking, you're W... he's Woking and you're Enfield.... Paulie.
[Paul:] I've just beaten him
[Kevin:] Your maths like Laura. What's Laura got?
[Paul:] She's a.
[Kevin:] God if you're away you lose points. Vital points.
[Paul:] she doesn't lose any vital points.
[Kevin:] You what? Oh
[Paul:] lose any vital points. only got one when she gets back.
[Kevin:] [shouting] Paulie I want my back scratched.... Come on! []
[Paul:] Get out of it!
[Kevin:] Means money.
[Paul:] Not a chance. Not a chance in a million. Dad. D'you know what that guy's name is?
[Kevin:] Who?
[Paul:] Desmond.
[Kevin:] Which one is Desmond?
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] Desmond! []
[Kevin:] Which one? Oh the old one?
[Paul:] Yeah Desmond [singing] doo doo doo Desmond. His name is Desmond. Da da da Desmond. His name is Desmond. Desmond, his name is Desmond. Da da da da [].
[Kevin:] Right get that tape going Paulie, quick.
[Paul:] It's on.
[Kevin:] Oh yeah...
[Paul:] ...
[Kevin:] ... I didn't see in the end.
[Ruth:] I thought see him.
[Kevin:] Went out to see the puppet,, one good thing at least it shows he's being quite a good boy... not sure about the school
[Ruth:] about the school.
[Kevin:] Well, they've had, they've only had you must of been better or Miss Johnson would of said you couldn't go to the public
[Ruth:] Well, it's because it's a waste of time stopping him going to see them, if that doesn't work you don't keep doing it do you?
[Kevin:] Yeah, but how do you know it didn't work?
[Ruth:] He didn't even know did he?
[Paul:] What did uncle Edward say about.
[Ruth:] the Rumbelows cup, I said you said that without when they don't win the league you say ah, its only the league.
[Paul:] Well we beat them four, three in the F A cup final cup.
[Kevin:] She don't, the first time in our history
[Ruth:] Yeah, and the, that's ever been made to have one
[Kevin:] in that competition, they've been beaten cup.
[Paul:] European's in the F A cup then?
[Kevin:] That ain't terrible they mentioned Swansea in the early sixties, but eh...
[Paul:] Does the top
[Kevin:] I don't, I'm thinking if I had some scrapers always managed eventually get through like we did.
[Paul:] ... ah, ah... they've got a better crowd for that day ain't they dad? I don't know why.
[Kevin:] Warmer... There must of been three thousand, two and a half thousand, membership at Birmingham's
[Paul:] So what Birmingham's
[Kevin:] Do they? don't know... with all that corner and a, a, and one with great, one with the lock in the... Alex could
[Paul:] have to take a day off work.
[Kevin:] Oh a couple of there's youngsters, there what, those two boys that talk to us they must of been about, at the most eighteen I think, messing about getting chips and fish and burgers and stuff, rubbish.
[Paul:] home. There's two blokes, that, in there, in the fish shop the one in the blue, the tall one, eighteen, they were about twenty three
[Kevin:] No.
[Paul:] they weren't, they weren't in their teens, no way.
[Kevin:] ...
[Paul:] You went to see that bloke only maybe still at school just finishes school about two years ago
[Kevin:] Yeah
[Paul:] really, that guy in the blue?
[Kevin:] Got the car things going through. Mm, got them, on Monks Lane the
[Paul:] But he's injured.
[Kevin:] Yes, and its not through yet, presumably they'll have another look at it at the end of the month. You want the papers you've yet to find someone with a painting and
[Paul:] ... He is fast quick off the mark when he gets going...
[Kevin:] That's what he says, I really have seen the place, the man in the pass him
[Paul:] Why? What's wrong with that penalty I saw it,
[Ruth:] but Paul doesn't agree.
[Kevin:] How do you know it's on now?
[Ruth:] ...
[Paul:] What's wrong with that?
[Ruth:] Seems to me like he saved it.
[Paul:] Yeah...
[Kevin:] Just mucking about, look, look, he....
[Ruth:] Oh. eating.
[Paul:] Who me?... dad.
[Kevin:] Pretty good
[Ruth:] Paul just eat.
[Paul:] I
[Kevin:] Sshh...
[Ruth:] Oh,... thank you treasure... when you've finished your milk Paul you can have the paper back.
[Paul:] it off.
[Ruth:] Have we seen it?
[Paul:] No.
[Ruth:] Eight o'clock I'll record it for you, you are watching it?
[Kevin:] sequel rip off
[Ruth:] Yes, your right
[Paul:] What?... I haven't seen it before...
[Ruth:] I think I might of done
[Paul:] No.
[Ruth:] Tom Banks and some twelve year old in a thirty five year old body... anyway you are not watching it because you are going to bed eight o'clock, is that not right daddy?... What time did you get in last night?
[Paul:] Twelve
[Ruth:] Is it necessary to be so rude Paul?
[Paul:] What did uncle say about.
[Ruth:] the Rumbelows cup, I said you said that without when they don't win the league you say ah, its only the league.
[Paul:] Well we beat them four, three in the F A cup final cup.
[Kevin:] She don't, the first time in our history
[Ruth:] Yeah, and the, that's ever been made to have one
[Kevin:] in that competition, they've been beaten cup.
[Paul:] European's in the F A cup then?
[Kevin:] That ain't terrible they mentioned Swansea in the early sixties, but eh...
[Paul:] Does the top
[Kevin:] I don't, I'm thinking if I had some scrapers always managed eventually get through like we did.
[Paul:] ... ah, ah... they've got a better crowd for that day ain't they dad? I don't know why.
[Kevin:] Warmer... There must of been three thousand, two and a half thousand, membership at Birmingham's
[Paul:] So what Birmingham's
[Kevin:] Do they? don't know... with all that corner and a, and one with great, one with the lock in the... Alex could
[Paul:] have to take a day off work.
[Kevin:] Oh a couple of there's youngsters, there what, those two boys that talk to us they must of been about, at the most eighteen I think, messing about getting chips and fish and burgers and stuff, rubbish.
[Paul:] home. There's two blokes, that, in there, in the fish shop the one in the blue, the tall one, eighteen, there about twenty three
[Kevin:] No.
[Paul:] they weren't, they weren't in their teens, no way.
[Kevin:] ...
[Paul:] You went to see that bloke only maybe still at school just finishes school about two years ago
[Kevin:] Yeah
[Paul:] really, that guy in the blue?
[Ruth:] You heard about the eh education secretary's faux pas somebody from Jack section, he, he's apparently he slipped up er, and said right and Jack said to him I was to tell the education authorities suggest that you do when the education er clerk turn to Mr and said you are just, streaming is when he put one child in the same group for all subjects, setting is when there in different groups according to their ability, so you could be a Maths set A or an English set B, awkward isn't it?
[Kevin:] Imagine rushing out to find your equipment
[Ruth:] Yeah
[Kevin:] so Jack good cos he's a teacher.
[Ruth:] Yeah, funny but he had to shout you are just playing with the
[Paul:] So what, what have, we've been
[Ruth:] No, you've been streamed, oh no you've been are on different groups then?, have you got a photo of them in the top set for something and the bottom set for
[Paul:] top set for bottom set for a, at least a year.
[Ruth:] Are they?
[Paul:] down the stream they are
[Ruth:] ... it's strictly speaking streaming is when Paul would be in the top group for everything not necessarily, I mean settings better really it's important if he can do it, ain't that awful education then?...
[Paul:] So do you mean settings a
[Ruth:] No I think he generally thought they were the same thing, I think I would of done if I wasn't an educationalist, but I mean it's his business... to know really isn't it?
[Paul:] What's Samantha?
[Ruth:] Words, she's playing with words.
[Paul:] We're not are we?
[Ruth:] No, quite.
[Paul:] There's a different... why would you want to be a... streamed, after all.
[Ruth:] Well streaming's easier, the completion
[Kevin:] Yeah, Ruth look, crumbling school... Is it? You could always say your spending more every year.
[Ruth:] Well John
[Kevin:] to spend more
[Ruth:] cos John just phoned up by three hundred pounds.
[Michelle:] Mind you he gets things done doesn't he?
[Ruth:] Yeah, but we can't afford that, says he might have to loose staff...
[Paul:] he says anything that comes into his head.
[Kevin:] Very dodgy position, but your the one that's just taken up full time post
[Ruth:] I'm not.
[Paul:] Maybe
[Kevin:] Well got a contract that made redundant
[Ruth:] I'm not permanent
[Kevin:] What?
[Ruth:] I'm not permanent.
[Kevin:] What do you mean?
[Ruth:] What, er, Vicky and that have got temporary contracts, Moira's got a temporary contract
[Paul:] I mean if you want could you say I want the same as fourth year job?
[Ruth:] No, I would say I want the same school, you can do with me what you like, Paul I suggest you don't throw that away before I loose my temper with you.
[Kevin:] He, he's allowed to choose which one he makes sacks, sacks though isn't he, I mean
[Ruth:] You can't, you have to, people with temporary contracts have to first
[Kevin:] Really?, have too?
[Ruth:] Yeah and he got I think. Are you look how much he's eaten.
[Paul:] Are you friendly with the governors?
[Ruth:] I don't need to be,...
[Kevin:] It's a bit like me, you don't expect to loose your job but you, you can, you can, no one these days can say you can't
[Ruth:] No, no
[Kevin:] Everyone now knows you can.
[Ruth:] Yeah...
[Kevin:] Trouble is with all this efficiency right and we can cut cost and do this and we streamline this, in the end... unless you tell people, you've still got those people on your hands haven't you, you still in the end you've got to pay their unemployment benefit haven't you?
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] and then you wonder sometimes, okay it makes everybody off balance balance, the balance all balance their books, but in the end they all start complaining about that extra tax and corporation tax, why, because the governments got to play with the people of income
[Paul:] Mum
[Kevin:] employed.
[Ruth:] Yeah
[Paul:] do you reckon at the end of this year will offer you a full time job?
[Ruth:] I've got a permanent contract, I'm safe until September ninety two then my job doesn't exist any more, then I'm not
[Paul:] Hang on, will he offer you the job?
[Ruth:] Offer me what job?
[Paul:] You've got one year fourth year, yes?
[Ruth:] Yeah
[Paul:] Well he
[Ruth:] I've got two years
[Paul:] two years
[Kevin:] Is everybody like that though, is to mean here's Jan, where's Jan's contract go too?... Jan
[Ruth:] Yeah, she's permanent
[Kevin:] Well
[Ruth:] The only reason is because my year vanishes
[Kevin:] oh
[Ruth:] in two years time my year doesn't exist any more
[Kevin:] so you could be made redundant then
[Ruth:] I could be, yes,
[Paul:] But don't you get one option
[Ruth:] I was given two year option in the first place, so so
[Paul:] So he doesn't
[Ruth:] moved down
[Paul:] vanish does he?
[Ruth:] well he does really.
[Paul:] Everyone moves down one.
[Ruth:] Yes, but a lot of people refuse to move down one.
[Paul:] It's only one year difference is it?
[Kevin:] You'll find that
[Ruth:] No one wants to move down one.
[Kevin:] Yeah, but you'll find that when the people will get threaten with their job loses they do everything, do anything.
[Ruth:] Oh I won't.
[Paul:] Well you want to... keep searching.
[Ruth:] I don't mind teaching one year though, but nobody else wants to move down, I move down and Liz moves down that's this places Jo erm, Jan they won't want to move down, they move down that the next two, they don't wanna move, Terry doesn't want to go down any lower
[Paul:] Why does go down in the first place?
[Ruth:] You should of seen he has decorated the school, I said
[Kevin:] Who?
[Ruth:] you really like Christmas don't you John?, he said yes, the hall way you cannot move in the hall way, it is dripping with decorations, right, the phone goes this morning, hop of Daisy, goes to answer it, Santa's Grotto he says, a member of the public phoning to say that they found a child's bag in the high street. What?
[Kevin:] Oh dear.
[Ruth:] What do you do with a man like that?
[Paul:] How what, how
[Kevin:] It's a child really isn't it?
[Paul:] I didn't get that, say that again.
[Kevin:] Because he's got so much decorations up, he answers a funny
[Ruth:] he's in Murphy's decorating shop
[Kevin:] In the right
[Ruth:] He's been doing it for twenty years
[Kevin:] picks up the phone not knowing who it is and says Santa's Grotto... it is funny isn't it? but as mummy says it's not what a respectable headmaster is supposed to do is it?
[Paul:] He laugh it.
[Ruth:] Well, I tell you something all the children in my class have got perfect as near as your gonna get. He just hasn't got a clue, apparently he said last night he never thought it would be so hard, he had a confession with Liz or something, never thought it would be so hard and he's really struggled this year, really, really hard work, nothing like being a deputy which to me he's an idiot if he didn't know that, he's feeling guilty about the phone bill, but hasn't got any money at all for anything...
[Kevin:] But then I, I, it's unfortunate that you had your first... I mean... someone who had no experience of headmastership, head, head teachers, I mean all the head teachers I should think are in financial problems this year cos it's really there first full year
[Ruth:] Yeah
[Kevin:] isn't it?, right, but I mean, he has, he's had other problems to compound it and distract it
[Ruth:] yeah
[Kevin:] and he's made it probably an even worse hash than, than the average teacher
[Ruth:] He just can't manage money, full stop.
[Kevin:] I mean he's a, he's got to a, he's got to be a claim all across the whole sitting is that the, that their budgeting is not enough is it?
[Ruth:] Yeah, but
[Paul:] Mum, mum
[Ruth:] What?
[Paul:] why do these things, you've done it, why library
[Ruth:] Paul
[Paul:] It is.
[Ruth:] The books have been stolen at the rate of twenty or thirty a day.
[Paul:] That's his fault, is it?, it's the teachers fault
[Kevin:] Is that really true or is that an exaggeration?
[Ruth:] Look at the shelves
[Kevin:] Think about it, is it twenty or thirty a day?
[Ruth:] Yes, he came into the hall the other day and he tipped out
[Kevin:] Well he only asked, I mean that's obvious that he can say children
[Ruth:] he tipped out a pile of library tickets onto the thing and it was, it was a, it was, must of been, it was hundreds...
[Paul:] Yeah, what
[Ruth:] And he said this is a month, this was a month after the end of term, this, can't find books for any of these tickets, they're not in any children's
[Paul:] Well he borrowed the books for didn't he?
[Ruth:] No.
[Paul:] He checked, who checked up
[Ruth:] They're not found in the library, all the loose tickets, a mountain of them, surely you just take the tickets out and shut the book.
[Kevin:] But then if it's twenty or thirty it stands to reason that's probably about the same
[Ruth:] household
[Kevin:] the same children stealing them
[Ruth:] yeah
[Kevin:] every day, well why
[Ruth:] yeah
[Kevin:] don't you clamped down on these kids?
[Ruth:] Well, we've tried. When a child came in this morning, the one I, that we accused of taking that out, he said he didn't take it, I went on and on and on, he said he didn't take it, I said I want a letter from your father to say that you bought it then, that doesn't mean anything, the father could lie.
[Paul:] Why did you ask for?
[Kevin:] The point is you don't do these children any service by letting them getting away with it, cos they think they can get away with it.
[Ruth:] What can you do? You can't prove they did it
[Paul:] It does sound quite good if you give them, I suppose for math tuition... probably sat twenty five to.
[Ruth:] Why you're doing this Christmas, it may be my last, John said what do you mean, I said well, I don't know if I'm going to be in a classroom this time next year, I mean, I really enjoy Christmas with the children, fifteen years since I've done it, I've forgotten how I enjoyed myself.
[Paul:] Then what did he say?
[Ruth:] Why?
[speaker004:] They were testing those big signs on the motorway today
[Ruth:] Yeah, yeah
[Kevin:] Said this is a test ignore, this is a test and there was sort of like keying in
[Ruth:] typing on them?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] What will it be able to tell you then?
[Kevin:] Well anything, any message I suppose, you can key in any message you want
[Ruth:] What Mr leave at junction forty
[Kevin:] Yeah I should imagine so... but they wouldn't, but they could.
[Ruth:] Gosh, posh, cosh, cough, have you seen this headline? gosh, posh, cosh, cough
[Paul:] Dad
[Kevin:] What?
[Paul:] want to look at these
[Kevin:] What's he to me know?, what?
[Paul:] What, remember, surely your going to be
[Kevin:] Well I, I, don't think no, no, there not gazing up is it really, I mean is, its so huge you couldn't miss them
[Ruth:] Have you seen this Paul?, gosh, posh, cosh, cough [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Gosh, posh
[Kevin:] Posh
[Paul:] cosh
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] your pathetic [], and what do these make it, cough [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] You don't see the, the tabloid there, I read those, the headlines are hilarious, the headlines I think the manager who runs the headlines in The Sun is more funny than it all together.
[Paul:] That is it, what's that one that, gosh, posh, cosh, cough, gosh, posh, cosh, gosh posh, cosh, gosh
[Ruth:] Come on hurry up, homework.
[Paul:] Why they, dad, dad, why they posh in the because that
[Ruth:] It doesn't make sense, does it?
[Paul:] is at Liverpool... [speaking italian]
[Ruth:] Hey, can you speak any Italian yet?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Go on then.
[Paul:] [speaking italian]
[Ruth:] Have you got your Italianers your father says, you should have a text book called El Italianer.
[Paul:] I have got a text book called Chow.... chow.
[Ruth:] There's not much of an is it Italian?
[Paul:] Chow, bon acerous.
[Ruth:] What does that mean?
[Paul:] Eh,
[Ruth:] Bon acerous... you say anything else?
[Paul:] Want a lot? speaking Italian
[Ruth:] What does that mean? [speaking italian]
[Paul:] [speaking italian]
[Ruth:] School
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] School.
[Paul:] its so simple.
[Ruth:] It doesn't sound simple.
[Paul:] But right, there's this word, [speaking italian] a on the end right, some right [speaking italian] that means boy, because O means boys and [speaking italian] E with an e on the end
[Ruth:] Means girls.
[Paul:] Girls and, and with [speaking italian] with an I is... erm
[Ruth:] Boys and girls.
[Paul:] No girl.
[Ruth:] [speaking italian] is girl and [speaking italian] is girl
[Paul:] You get boy, girl, boys, girls, look I show you, I read you out everything I've done. Giacomo, Martin is Martino, Paul is Paulo
[Kevin:] [singing] oh Martino
[Paul:] Nicholas is Nicola
[Kevin:] give it to me []
[Paul:] er lets see er here are speaking Italian is boy speaking Italian is boys, speaking Italian is girl and speaking Italian is girls.
[Ruth:] Is that
[Paul:] Yeah, if you add O, you put an O on it to make it plural and A you just put an E on it. [speaking italian] where is the beach?
[Ruth:] Oh what a very useful thing to know cos your not likely to go to live there...
[Paul:] [speaking italian] lease to meet you, [speaking italian] wicked, wicked... take this sentence er... er... [speaking italian] what with me...
[Ruth:] See this picture in the centre court, did you see that?
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Brilliant isn't it?
[Kevin:] all day long.
[Paul:] What?
[Kevin:] Would you?
[Ruth:] No...
[Paul:] What doing to it?
[Kevin:] Putting a roof on it...
[Ruth:] No more umbrellas.
[Paul:] [speaking italian]
[Ruth:] These papers are the same... aren't they, exactly the same stuff in them.
[Paul:] [speaking italian]...
[Ruth:] Huh, just surprise it wasn't eighty per cent
[Kevin:] office they're all right. I dunno, don't wanna go.
[Ruth:] Oh, maybe I don't get any free time off you see, cos Jenny goes to Australia on Monday.
[Paul:] [speaking italian] [speaking italian]
[Ruth:] She only had two weeks from her free time.
[Paul:] [speaking italian]
[Kevin:] Who do they know in Australia then?
[Ruth:] ... and she's off for eleven full days and John could only afford to supply the three of them.
[Kevin:] Say that again, sorry I can't
[Ruth:] She's off for eleven school days and John can only pay for supplies for three of them.
[Kevin:] Hasn't he got enough money?
[Paul:] What did we have for dinner last night?
[Ruth:] Nothing, you went out to football.
[Paul:] ... what did we have for dinner the night before that?
[Ruth:] Oh I had flan, you had nothing... don't you dare get me into trouble because had nothing to eat.
[Paul:] , nothing, milk, nothing.
[Ruth:] O couldn't really be nothing.
[Paul:] Well what
[Ruth:] What about the eight packets of crisps you've had?
[Paul:] I haven't had eight packets of crisps
[Ruth:] I expect so. I had flan on Monday night, daddy had nothing... you had cheese...
[Paul:] I had
[Ruth:] Posh, nosh...
[Paul:] Gosh, posh, cosh, cough...
[Kevin:] Sshh, Paulie.
[speaker004:] You want coffee Ruthie?
[Ruth:] Yeah
[Kevin:] That milk?
[Ruth:] there's one Caffitino left, I'll have it in a mug, as full as possible...
[Kevin:] [whistling]...
[Ruth:] This is full?...
[Kevin:] Oh, that's hard on the eyes isn't it Ruthie?
[Ruth:] Yeah...
[Kevin:] Oh no it's Graham the er cartoonist of Fred Bassett died.
[Ruth:] Mm, I saw that...
[Kevin:] I wonder if somebody else will take it on?... my new mug.
[Ruth:] It's lovely I've tried
[Kevin:] Oh yeah.
[Ruth:] It's not very full.
[Kevin:] It's your last one you'll ever have Ruthie
[Ruth:] I know.
[Kevin:] Weird is it? What?
[Ruth:] I drank my last orange one in school, chocolate and coconut
[Kevin:] Has it got, we had a and you're allowed to fire the shot are you?
[Ruth:] Yep.
[speaker004:] Oh come on
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] []
[Kevin:] The sketch involved staggering around completely blotto.
[Ruth:] Who?
[Kevin:] This, can you see this Davro.
[Ruth:] Oh yeah.
[Kevin:] And he said it wasn't his fault, he, he told to do by the script writers, but I mean it's to make out that he had no right to, it's ridiculous.
[Ruth:] There's only one light, a bit naught, it's...
[Kevin:] [cough] waited for
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] not right is it []?
[Kevin:] What is?
[Ruth:] When you said them all to...
[Kevin:] That can
[Ruth:] Yeah, I've already read that book this morning... song, I lovely Christmas book, only two twenty five and er. Right... eat up some of this salad I'm only on some
[Kevin:] Must put that champagne, once you've done that orange er Ruth, orange, put the champagne in there
[Ruth:] . You thinking of a special occasion?
[Kevin:] Yes my birthday Rufus...
[Ruth:] Right, what do you want, spritzer or...
[Kevin:] No I'll have an orange that erm, straight from the bottle.
[Ruth:] Paul what do you want to drink?
[Paul:] Er...
[Ruth:] There's not enough room to
[Kevin:] Er
[Paul:] Can I have a coke please?
[Ruth:] Some of those dishes need to go up here.
[Kevin:] Up where?
[Ruth:] Pass them to me I'll do it now, some of those fruit dishes, there's not enough room there for the glasses..., I like them then I'll take them. ... Right, while we.
[Kevin:] You going to this, what a toy party is it?
[Ruth:] Well I might call in... there.
[Kevin:] Best to, I place.
[Paul:] Yes I know.
[Ruth:] You've got some great
[Kevin:] There's some more in there.
[Ruth:] No, you've got some er grapefruit to drink up
[Paul:] Daddy, daddy, daddy, dad, dad, dad, dado
[Kevin:] Yes.
[Ruth:] I ought to cancel the milk tomorrow.
[Kevin:] [cough], what did you do with the of the milk we had?
[Ruth:] Oh I chucked that. So much I gotta make a dozen mince pies for the, she said can you make a dozen mince for the, I said no Sheila, she said pardon, I said no, I said I'd buy twelve I will not make twelve, so after that she's, then went round everybody could make twelve mince pies, it's a bit of a nerve isn't it?, seems a bit of a nerve asking us to buy the wool and make
[Kevin:] Well, can't be fairer than that, she was passing on John's weren't she?
[Ruth:] Ah, typical...
[Kevin:] another one like Trevor no matter what they, how they reason with what they saying it always puts people's backs up.
[Ruth:] We've only got
[Kevin:] I think it's both the same
[Ruth:] no, that's yours and
[speaker004:] Of course, he's gonna say no isn't he?...
[Ruth:] Local firm designing twenty five warning signs.
[Kevin:] Oh, first is it?... that
[Ruth:] Rochelle and Company,
[Kevin:] I just opposite Macdonald's road
[Paul:] What they've fallen down, broken down have they?
[Ruth:] No,. They confirmed to make up to a thousand different messages... You know that Chinese shop in Woking?...
[Kevin:] Yeah, Mah Jong
[Ruth:] Three of them.
[Kevin:] Two Mah Jong's.
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Kevin:] Where's the other two then?
[Ruth:] Ah, Twickenham, Norton.
[Kevin:] Those coke ones are yours now, they're not, they are ones we don't do without. We had twelve
[Paul:] Yeah
[Kevin:] taking those?
[Paul:] No, I can't take them.
[Kevin:] Well we'll crush them, and then you can take them, wash and crush them, then you can take them in a box, to your school, put them in your school, yeah.
[Paul:] crush them for school.
[Kevin:] No... someone has to.
[Paul:] They crush them... they have people standing round crushing
[Kevin:] Why did I, why did I do, put them in the machine instead of dropping them on the floor then?
[Paul:] I at school was he?
[Kevin:] Well he should of carried it home and carried it all the way back again...
[Paul:] Would you have done?
[Kevin:] Er, Take those a waste of time. You must have put about six of those in the bin.
[Paul:] [sigh]
[Kevin:] Yeah, you can saying oh,
[Paul:] Dad, you wasn't
[Kevin:] Get in trouble...
[Paul:] Dad, he can't be still. Oh... because we, we don't, we don't have at school, we have Pepsi in our machine. Our machine actually is a Pepsi, it sells Lucozade, Ribena, Apple Tango Well we could put them all in the thing can't we? all in the canned box, it's lovely... and we could put at the top no Pepsi can
[Kevin:] Oh, she's doing well in the
[Paul:] They get some weird trips don't they?
[Kevin:] I think you have to er, er, you have to be a certain kind of person, you have to be prepared to anything don't you? I don't think, I don't think you're allowed to say ooh, I don't think I'd like to do that.
[Paul:] There's a job down don't they.
[Kevin:] Only for a bloke actually it's pretty easy, but for some of the girls I mean they sometimes has to false herself. There was a scene where she had to go upsta up the top of a windmill weren't there windmill wings oh what those things, I don't think she was too keen on height...
[Paul:] Wasn't it the first black they'd ever had there, dad?
[Kevin:] Dunno.
[Paul:] Those black you only had
[Kevin:] Spooky, it's spiritual, it's like re-in I often believe in re-incarnation when you hear stories like that, how can someone just sit down, little child sit down and play the violin.
[Paul:] Three and he just came on and played the piano.
[Kevin:] Like somebody dare. See Palace have bought Franz Carr.
[Paul:] Palace what? oh what they're gonna buy him soon?
[Kevin:] Like you say, I don't think he can be too good at, if he tried, he has had a lot of injuries apparently. He was a brilliant player, bright some players do. Oh they've dropped Goodman now, good... I preferred Goodman with, to Gabbiadini.
[Paul:] Goodman's rubbish. What?...
[Kevin:] Spurs go to the Soviet.
[Paul:] Ooh, how many Tuesdays is this in the row that plays the dad?
[Ruth:] Too many.
[Paul:] Six?
[Kevin:] No
[Paul:] How, but if we go to those two games each Tuesday count to three.
[Kevin:] Do they? No go through them.
[Ruth:] to me
[Paul:] Birmingham away
[Kevin:] Yeah
[Paul:] Birmingham home, Q P R away, Birmingham home, Chelsea at home, Swindon away
[Kevin:] Swindon away, yeah, you're right. I thought I thought you meant weekly...
[Paul:] [singing] born free []
[Ruth:] Homework.
[Kevin:] Well after this if they got a big rest didn't it, because I looked at, when we played Norwich and it was March the nineteenth, well given that there was a game the week before, are you listening to me?
[Paul:] Yes.
[Kevin:] What did I say?
[Paul:] Given the game before
[Kevin:] That doesn't make any sense, before
[Paul:] That's what you said
[Kevin:] yeah, you
[Paul:] Norwich.
[Kevin:] no I'm just saying once I, this, this semi-final gets over it doesn't look like the southern final gets played till February March.
[Paul:] Quick,
[Kevin:] probably will
[Paul:] are we, we're in the semi-finals so if we win that
[Kevin:] Southern semi-final.
[Paul:] If we win that we're in the final at Wembley, what, what if we beat Chelsea at Wembley?
[Kevin:] No.
[Paul:] Yes, you said that
[Kevin:] No, whoever wins this has got to play the southern final, that's what I'm just saying, the southern final was Norwich last year
[Paul:] then the final
[Kevin:] and that wasn't till March this year
[Paul:] [singing] born free, []
[Kevin:] March nineteen ninety one they played that.
[Paul:] So why is he killing ourselves getting this over and done with?
[Kevin:] I don't know.
[Paul:] Weird.
[Kevin:] I noticed Dennis took precedence over the foot run by Pat, but he, he
[Paul:] Got a, pull one back, then he's five behind, here he comes, he's beaten Nora, two behind Nora now.
[Ruth:] What merit points? You're two behind Laura
[Paul:] and I'm five behind er Hinds.
[Kevin:] Hinds' gone into the lead.
[Ruth:] He and Heather, Laura
[Paul:] Wow.
[Kevin:] Laura's burnt out.
[Paul:] What?
[Kevin:] Laura's gone and burnt out, he's streaks ahead he is.
[Paul:] They are three days. didn't get one for English, I did, I did
[Ruth:] What for?
[Paul:] I got one for English I did, I did
[Ruth:] What for?...
[Paul:] [singing] born free [] for that Daily Telegraph bit.
[Ruth:] Did any one correct your spellings?
[Paul:] Born free, oh by the way I went to that study centre, I went to that study centre and she looked at it she asked me what spilt over it and she said oh it's still readable and she said well done for coming to er
[Ruth:] I told you.
[Paul:] apologize, I think she was a.
[Ruth:] Paul, do you think you could start loaning this directly in the whole article about loneliness?
[Paul:] How do you spell it?
[Ruth:] Loneliness, loneliness is a state of mind.
[Paul:] Loneliness, loneliness what do I do?
[Ruth:] Oh Paul you've spelt your wrong, didn't anybody correct it?
[Kevin:] What.
[Paul:] [singing] born free, born free []
[Kevin:] What's spelt wrong now?
[Ruth:] He's spelt longliness
[Kevin:] Longliness
[Ruth:] and your, Y O U R apostrophe E... good use of alliteration. Tommy tarantula had torn his tattered trousers to threads before his terrible teeth consisted of tea, toast and trifle and some tapioca followed by... T-bone steak, plus a round of
[Kevin:] Did the teachers spell alliteration right?
[Ruth:] Tandoori takeaway, yeah the teacher spelt, good writing. Why some of these... underlined in red Paul?
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] Why some of these words underlined in red?
[Paul:] Well it's the T words here, that's what I used in there.
[Ruth:] No you didn't.
[Paul:] What, which one didn't I use?
[Ruth:] Takeaway, toast,
[Paul:] Tandoori takeaway it's all there
[Ruth:] toast
[Paul:] Toast there
[Ruth:] It's not there though.
[Paul:] [singing] born free []... look at merito I've got a merito for every piece of work I've done
[Ruth:] Well I wish they'd correct your spelling.
[Paul:] she looks at the...
[Ruth:] Say that was good?
[Paul:] Merita, merita, oh merita
[Ruth:] Oh Paul whose w W H O apostrophe S, that's dreadful... whose
[Kevin:] Oh, oh says Paulie.
[Paul:] What to do, she, she met, she did do it
[Ruth:] Yeah, she corrected it.
[Paul:] I beat Heidi on that, though still got a merito, got nine point for my spelling test.
[Ruth:] Why don't you
[Paul:] ... that is quite a good one that.
[Ruth:] Oh Paul, oh Paul, oh, [reading] then the mother unfortunately deceased [] what on earth does that mean?
[Paul:] Died.
[Ruth:] well, deceased is having died, not died... you mean die, unfortunately die
[Paul:] I don't want to use die twice
[Ruth:] I can remember quite
[Paul:] die
[Ruth:] [reading] far back in my life so I can recall my first piece of actual writing, I have a scrapbook at home and I look at it regularly, it had my first pieces of work in it, I usually drew pictures and then wrote things, my first piece was on A four and I have drawn a table, my mum and myself, I was holding a, I wrote one sentence and it was surprisingly literate [LAUGHTER] this is what I wrote, it is my party and I wait for my friends to come, I did many pieces of work
[Paul:] [singing] it's my party and I cry []
[Ruth:] like that and eventually with the help of my mum I could join sentences together to make a real piece of writing. My first page of writing was about Bluebell Railway where we used to go with my brothers and ride on the sea bed [] have you seen this Kevin?
[Kevin:] Mm.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] [singing] it's my party and I da, da, da, da []
[Ruth:] [reading] I wrote one sentence and it was surprisingly literate [] [LAUGHTER] all you need is to do something about your spelling...
[Paul:] [singing] it's my party [], look at my nice writing mum, that was
[Ruth:] [yawn]
[Paul:] You got all in that, English there, English there, English there and English there, and that I had six merit points yesterday.
[Ruth:] Right, homework... Thursday design a drama. Well it doesn't mean you don't have to do it.
[Paul:] I don't know what homework I've got.
[Ruth:] Why aren't you suppose to find out?
[Paul:] I probably, homework, because her daughter was dying or something and she, her daughter was quite seriously ill and taken to hospital, so we just had Miss so we weren't given any homework for that
[Ruth:] What did you do in Miss?
[Paul:] I wasn't I? and I don't think I have any, I don't know.
[Ruth:] Well you're trying to say you haven't got any homework?
[Paul:] No, I've got to revise for my erm science test tomorrow and I've got loads of stuff to do, I've got to keep going for the weekend, actually I haven't got that much to do, I've got drama that I can do if you just would be so kind turn over to number three so I can have a look at some adverts... I've got a, will there be any adverts after
[Ruth:] We don't want number three now.
[Paul:] I know, but can I just have a burst of adverts?
[Ruth:] You know all the adverts off by heart...
[Paul:] some adverts... Cleared out my locker... I put all the...... that's what I'm doing...
[Ruth:] There's a woman here called Miss, who had a baby in Asda, she's called her daughter Danielle Elizabeth Asda...
[Kevin:] Well she's the woman, I've just realized that, look, look.
[Ruth:] I can't see...
[Kevin:] Oh fair enough.
[Ruth:] The woman in what?
[Kevin:] Emmerdale.
[Paul:] Oh yeah the barmaid
[Kevin:] The barmaid. Oh where have I seen her face?... Cheeky blighter.
[Paul:] Not that face
[Kevin:] Perhaps that's where this. That guy at Engin Ruth, he gave a reasonable talk didn't he they reckon he's got a... mental age of ten years old.
[Ruth:] You mean the hostage.
[Kevin:] No, Engin the, one of this Tottenham three...
[Ruth:] Well most of the ten year olds in my class can speak reasonably.
[Kevin:] Do they?...
[Ruth:] Didn't, one of those hostages had suffered brain damage from the
[Kevin:] Oh, I don't know.
[Ruth:] Well
[Paul:] .
[Ruth:] cos he was thrown against the wall and hit a mole on his head or something and it caused a bruise and it has actually damaged his brain. I think there's brain damage and brain damage but...
[Kevin:] Did your little group get Winston Silcott, on my quiz?
[Ruth:] Yes.
[Kevin:] Who did?
[Ruth:] Not me.
[Kevin:] Ah, dad wasn't it?... I suppose, take this problem.
[Ruth:] [singing] for []
[Paul:] Watched she sing?, when I got Silcott on the
[Kevin:] Yeah, you said,
[Ruth:] Her
[Kevin:] what's her name was Silcott
[Paul:] You don't. Is Radcliffe's school called Magna Carta? mum, I read out all these school names, see if you know what they are,
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Paul:] brown.
[Ruth:] Mm. Mm.
[Paul:] John the Baptist.
[Ruth:] Mm. Silegions.
[Paul:] Silegions.
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Paul:] Magna Carta.
[Ruth:] Mm. Mm. Mm, mm.
[Paul:] You have them?, er Guildford County School.
[Ruth:] Mm, that's the.
[Paul:] George Abbott.
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Paul:] Who goes to George Abbott?
[Ruth:] Don't know, Simon's mother teachers at Guildford County.
[Paul:] Where's Park Vile?
[Ruth:] Park Vile is a school for disabled children in Guildford, Maread
[Paul:] Oh what kind of
[Ruth:] and Mohammed's gonna go there
[Paul:] What's Ma, Magna Carta?
[Ruth:] That's the only one I don't know... Oh that would never do would it?
[Kevin:] Can't, can't please their youngsters out of thirty pound shirts...
[Ruth:] I don't think at all.
[Kevin:] I've won the pools.
[Ruth:] Why is it called mange tout Paul?
[Paul:] Peas.
[Ruth:] What does mange tout mean?
[Paul:] Little
[Ruth:] No... why are mange tout peas called mange tout?
[Paul:] Erm, small.
[Ruth:] No.
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] Mange tout, your french mange means tout means...
[Paul:] I don't know.
[Ruth:] everything, all, mange tout, eat all, that's why it's called mange tout cos he eats everything, and mange tout peas are called mange tout cos you eat the pods, twit...
[Paul:] Okay, out of all these whose high school, out of all these list which one do you reckon will be the most complex system of,,, St John the Baptist,, Magna Carta, Bishop, Hart Brown, county school, George Abbott.
[Ruth:] Say John the Baptist.
[Paul:] How did you know that?
[Ruth:] Cos I'm a musician.
[Paul:] And what would they be, what
[Ruth:] St. John the Baptist.
[Paul:] No.
[Ruth:] I don't know... crotchet.
[Paul:] Quaver, crotchet, quaver, crotchet, quaver...
[Ruth:] Sounds like you
[Kevin:] No you're not going.
[Paul:] Ya, ya, ya,
[Ruth:] Dad's says Liverpool are winning...
[Kevin:] Weren't Liv weren't the easy team they've had so far, they were, was quite hard as well I think, what you should of said, yes and I'm Peterborough UEFA cup.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] I don't think you'll get through.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER].
[Kevin:] Ah, we don't need the UEFA cup miss, it's only a UEFA cup.
[Paul:] Don't,.
[Kevin:] Well grovel answer we get the
[Paul:] ...
[Ruth:] One of those tapes has got big on, leave it,
[Paul:] ...
[Ruth:] That's your football one isn't it?... that one's free now, your thinking of vice versa weren't we?, when I was thinking of big, yeah... I was.
[Paul:] You think what? Get off
[Kevin:] That weren't wicked...
[Ruth:] [reading] this bookline outlines these... I have done some down in Wales, computer studies I have done most work well, I []
[Kevin:] Blimey, everybody helped themselves to my toffee without asking
[Ruth:] I did these questions and
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] mum.
[Ruth:] Cocky little what's it
[Kevin:] What?
[Ruth:] you have to write down what you find difficult, I have found nothing very difficult [shouting] Paul, now go and get the hoover []
[Paul:] I can't.
[Ruth:] I have not found anything In modern languages, C D T I have found nothing very difficult.
[Paul:] put virtually all his down the very easy column.
[Ruth:] Drama, I have found nothing very difficult, music, I have not found very difficult.
[Paul:] Best thing is.
[Ruth:] Geography I have found nothing very difficult.
[Kevin:] Anything he found difficult, maths.
[Ruth:] Computer studies... Paul
[Paul:] Mum can you stop shouting, it's on there.
[Kevin:] You, you've been hacking at this one bit, it's gone too soft, look that's why, yes, gone too soft...
[Ruth:] From my point of view I have achieved quite a lot of those, I am very punctual and helpful.
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER], just remember when you turn up...
[Ruth:] If anyone has set me a test I have done very well especially in... look, look at his, can't even sign his name...
[Kevin:] Reply, Arthur Badger.
[Paul:] I have
[Kevin:] Badger.
[Paul:] Oh Heidi was This is my summary.
[Kevin:] Who's he kidnapped? oh, oh she wanted him.
[Ruth:] No, he wants her head.
[Kevin:] What, that bogie bloke?
[Ruth:] Yeah, he's just putting on
[Kevin:] What as a policeman, was he a policeman then?
[Ruth:] No, he was a criminal
[Kevin:] No, but what
[Ruth:] He's just come out of prison
[Kevin:] why did his, her husband
[Ruth:] evidence
[Kevin:] Ah, we're getting there now Ruth..., right that's enough you lot, crikey, you
[Paul:] You've got tons there dad.
[Ruth:] It's very fattening.
[Kevin:] Yeah,. You're not going to be nine stone eight
[Ruth:] Nine stone...
[Kevin:] I've got to do me egg.
[Paul:] Oh.
[Kevin:] I've got to do me egg, like.
[Paul:] Don't mess with me dad,, Ivor was so big headed, it was like a he kept going on and on, he kept going er, my geographical instinct, my maths instinct,
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] my science grade, ah.
[Kevin:] It's quite likely to be quite bright though isn't he?
[Paul:] With geographical instinct
[Kevin:] Well his father's a surgeon, I mean
[Ruth:] I've finished reading it Paul...
[Paul:] Haven't
[Ruth:] What happens to it now?... She's reading, can I just finish reading it?... Supposed to do it every turn?...
[Kevin:] I'm gonna stop it soon,...
[Ruth:] About time you did find something difficult really isn't it?...
[Kevin:] If I find the time I
[Ruth:] Let me find you some
[Kevin:] ...
[Ruth:] [reading] I will try to slant my handwriting to be more adult like, I will try to get many merit points, I will try to get at the top sets for every lesson [] you are in the top sets for every lesson [reading] do well in them, I want to carry on my good progress in the sports area, I do many sports now and I want to do more []
[Kevin:] This is new how, how is this
[Ruth:] [sigh]
[Kevin:] is this psychology?
[Ruth:] been here...
[Kevin:] Oh cos you've just started it as well haven't you?
[Paul:] Did you all put this in
[Ruth:] Mm.
[Kevin:] Does he, do you consider a very successful way of getting inside to what children think? They have the right I think
[Ruth:] Only about ten per cent of children...
[Kevin:] What?
[Ruth:] or maybe twenty per cent, ten per cent think they're better than the teacher thinks they are, ten per cent think that
[Kevin:] Maybe they said
[Ruth:] eighty per cent are just exactly what you always thought, it's a waste of time writing it...
[Kevin:] But I suppose you get insight er... twenty per cent was... she can't outrun him... I think this bit she gets killed and she turns up in Little England, this come on.
[Ruth:] Oh ha, ha... she's to escape... does he think she's tied up, does he?... I'm going to the toy party
[Kevin:] She's
[Ruth:] for half an hour and then I'm releasing Moira so she can go for half an hour, she's
[Kevin:] Who's tying her up?...
[Ruth:] She's
[Paul:] started...... she's got to go through that gate...
[Kevin:] What gate?...
[Paul:] She's too near the wall...
[Kevin:] Ooh lovely... ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
[Ruth:] Come on you silly cow, oh he's run right into her path
[Kevin:] ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] Oh there's a lovely soft patch that she can fall on, god....
[Ruth:] Ha, she's had me panicking like mad... oh planes going over...
[Kevin:] Yes, she
[Paul:] Does she wanna out, out
[Ruth:] What?
[Kevin:] Yes he's starring, yes he stars in Little England next year.
[Ruth:] Little England isn't English, is it?
[Kevin:] No, it's ex- in Maibai, you'll watch it Ruth as well
[Ruth:] No, because it's on the same time as Emmerdale.
[Kevin:] You'll drop Emmerdale.
[Ruth:] No I won't, I like Emmerdale.
[Kevin:] Oh.
[Ruth:] Nice oh, er, oh no, Sarah's got a cool head she won't panic, aha, ha, ha... please let me go......
[Kevin:] Oh no, they and he turns up in some hanging from a chain... he's being cruel to her isn't he?... There are, she's dead... she's buried... this is quite good isn't it? Do they do this purposely cos that man's just been sent to prison the same thing isn't it?
[Ruth:] What?
[Kevin:] John... killed that bird when she said
[Ruth:] Oh
[Kevin:] she wants to be near... and he said couldn't let her go...
[Ruth:] Paul, homework, now
[Paul:] I'm going.
[Kevin:] Oh yes she saw the blood starting to come out of her neck and he caught her
[Ruth:] Sighed, tell you what Kevin you go and make a drink, I'll empty the tumbledryer and put the washing away, number one
[Paul:] Yes.
[Ruth:] Paul what have you got on? I'll call you a Pakistani, they wear three t-shirts, I said do you go to bed in them and then just leave them on the next morning put your school shirt on top?
[Paul:] Er?
[Ruth:] Er, Vicky says you are awful going er, I said that's what they do, they grunt at me like an animal I grunt back at them.
[Paul:] She thinks you're, you do that to me.
[Ruth:] What, er
[Paul:] Er
[Ruth:] er, so I do it now, I get in first, I said have you done your homework er [LAUGHTER], who's a er, animals grunt... Your magic box Kevin? dearie
[Kevin:] Sorry.
[Ruth:] magic box... [yawning] watch my lips [] magic box.
[Kevin:] I've got the power.
[Ruth:] Oh number one please
[Paul:] He's got the power.
[Kevin:] I wanted to see my shares My shares are plummeting
[Ruth:] What are they now?... it's only paper money, what's it matter?
[Kevin:] Some of these you can't do.
[Ruth:] That's not number two.
[Kevin:] Yeah.
[Ruth:] Intelligent people are never bored... Miss Hall's nineteen forty three.
[Paul:] What?
[Ruth:] Intelligent people are never bored. Miss Hall's nineteen forty three.
[Paul:] Is that when she said it?
[Ruth:] I think so, looks like the first one...
[Kevin:] Everybody
[Ruth:] accident at service cos he wants all year four holding
[Kevin:] You just said that though.
[Ruth:] lighted candles
[Kevin:] What would you rather like to be doing?, would you, if you're bored here, what would you really liked to be?
[Paul:] Who said that?
[Kevin:] A perpetual
[Paul:] Who said that?
[Ruth:] Hassan, all our naughty boys are called Hassan, sorry, I'll re-phrase that, all Hassan's in our school are naughty... it's the equivalent of Jason... the Pakistani equivalent of Jason [LAUGHTER] three and a half Kevin, [] that was one of the worst investments you have ever made.
[Kevin:] What, you put
[Ruth:] You put
[Kevin:] on one.
[Ruth:] Yes, but you've put twice as much money into it as your other investments.
[Kevin:] [dramatically] it was greed, I couldn't help it []
[Ruth:] Didn't you?, sheer greed. Gone down from ten pence to three and a half.
[Kevin:] When they did that black
[Ruth:] I mean that is embarrassing lost so much... how much
[Kevin:] ...
[Ruth:] What kind of things, I mean amongst people of your age, what are the kind of things that people might be involved? Getting bored.
[Kevin:] ... oh
[Paul:] Can I have a look at this please?
[Kevin:] BAA
[Paul:] Dad what's the
[Ruth:] gone down?.
[Kevin:] Goodbye in it?, ever, ever ever, ever how do you say that goodbye in Italian?
[Paul:] Italian
[Kevin:] Italian
[Paul:] No, affidavits, affidavits
[Kevin:] Affidavits.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Kevin:] It's a sworn affidavits in legal thing.
[Paul:] Oh illegal.
[Kevin:] Legal... I think it means like if you saw that boy do something, the police, you, you take out a sworn affidavit that you saw him do that and, I think it's a legal document, look it up, it's
[Paul:] You wake that mum up
[Kevin:] a legal document
[Paul:] It's not
[Kevin:] copy what?
[Paul:] Mum, what does affidavit mean?...
[Ruth:] The Lord twenty years old, first part of
[Kevin:] B, E, Oh what means?, argumentative like mummy.
[Paul:] How do you spell argumentative?...
[Kevin:] Argumentative... argumentative...
[Paul:] Countenance
[Kevin:] It's your face... isn't it mum?, countenance... I won't countenance any
[Ruth:] with countenance
[Paul:] Give up yeah?...
[Ruth:] What?
[Kevin:] Condone
[Paul:] Condones.
[Kevin:] Cordons
[Ruth:] Cordons
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] it's like a party game isn't it?
[Paul:] cordons.
[Ruth:] Tied up...
[Paul:] Abutment
[Ruth:] God knows.
[Kevin:] That bit at the side, something abut something.
[Paul:] Siblings.
[Kevin:] Siblings?
[Ruth:] [shouting] loud [], noisy.
[Kevin:] Just one I think...
[Paul:] What...
[Kevin:] I don't recognise it... is that ford, that's ford Ruth isn't it?, that's what it is, it's a back ford, Pearly Way, those factories I'm sure.
[Paul:] What did you say about abutment mum?
[Ruth:] Something next to something... What?
[Paul:] meeting or, that was the name of an arch
[Kevin:] It's a building, it's a part of a building abutment...
[Ruth:] Not a word I would of thought it was worth finding out the meaning of.
[Kevin:] Well who gave them to us?
[Paul:] this book called The Flight of Doves by Nina Gordon.
[Ruth:] Oh that's the way I work. That's photocopied isn't it?, are you studying that book?
[Paul:] No she wants.
[Kevin:] If it's photocopied Paul, she didn't write it down for each one of you did she?
[Ruth:] Paul are you studying that book in class?
[Paul:] Yes, we're reading it. Give me a sentence with evolution in it, and tell me, telling me what it means evolution.
[Ruth:] Darwin's theory on evolution does not mean for many Christians, no some Christians do not accept Darwin's theory of evolution.
[Kevin:] There's a lovely in there, in there, in the er... life line, Christian windows now double glazing group given terms of Christian windows.
[Paul:] Some Christians
[Ruth:] do not accept Darwin's theory of evolution... Darwin with a capital D and then apostrophe S... theory
[Kevin:] Someone's up to naughties.
[Paul:] Affidavit... got a sentence with that?
[Ruth:] What's it mean?
[Paul:] This is declaration.
[Ruth:] Oh... witness needs a sworn affidavit...
[Paul:] A witness witness...
[Ruth:] What?
[Paul:] in
[Ruth:] What's got?
[Paul:] Oh
[Ruth:] affidavit...
[Paul:] Disaster would be
[Kevin:] The crime was disastrously.
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Paul:] disaster.
[speaker004:] Bugsy Malone admitted
[Kevin:] Yeah, the guy who tied, who, who, who tied the women up on the railway lines, dastardly, wicked.
[Ruth:] Which is that?
[Kevin:] Well you know the film, you know the film...
[Paul:] Dastardly,...
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER], you can get a big bowl of Babycham now Ruth.
[Ruth:] Can you?
[Kevin:] Yeah, that's good marketing...
[Paul:] How's committed spelt?
[Kevin:] Ooh, it's a stinker.
[Paul:] How's it spelt?
[Kevin:] Is it two m's, two t's? yes.
[Paul:] I got it right.
[Kevin:] You never
[Paul:] I did...
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Dastardly committed
[Kevin:] There's your here you've not drunk...
[Ruth:] ...
[Paul:] How about criminal?... how's criminal spelt?
[Kevin:] That looks good Hot Shot.
[Ruth:] Yeah.
[Paul:] How's criminal spelt?
[Kevin:] Criminal?, C R I M I N A L, criminal []... you like her don't you Paul?
[Paul:] Mm
[Kevin:] Gone off her.
[Paul:] she was better ages ago... The man's countenance changed when he was convicted of a murder.
[Ruth:] Yes Paul wonderful. What do you normally, grades do you normally get for your English? I think work must be too easy then.
[Kevin:] Ooh, wanna see that, next Monday, Wall Street...
[Ruth:] ... What is this I'm drinking, chocolate and almonds?
[Kevin:] Yeah
[Ruth:] I don't think it's chocolate coconut.
[Kevin:] That's good,tha that's clever that, there's a
[Ruth:] It's marvellous
[Kevin:] that's marvel no, no it's not, it's slandering, no it's not it's liable, it's liable cos you in trouble.
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER], three cheers... can I check it Paul?
[Paul:] No... ...
[Ruth:] ...
[Paul:] Did you check my spellings.
[Ruth:] Evolution.
[Paul:] E V O L U T I O N
[Ruth:] Non,
[Paul:] N O N P L U double S E D
[Ruth:] Impeccable.
[Paul:] I M P E double C A B L E
[Ruth:] I thought abutment had two t's... affidavit.
[Paul:] A double F... I D A V I T
[Ruth:] Dastardly
[Paul:] D A S T A R D... L Y D E L del, I G E R E
[Ruth:] Countenance
[Paul:] C O U N T E N, start again C O U N T E N A N C E
[Ruth:] Cordon
[Paul:] Don't know that D O R D O
[Ruth:] Abutment
[Paul:] A B U T M E N T Erm, I've looked in there it is. Abutting has two t's... abutting. S O B L I A N T how's it spelt? S I B
[Ruth:] sibilant.
[Kevin:] This is a good talk about good jobs, that's Schofield g, landed himself a nice little series there.
[Ruth:] What Jason Donovan?
[Kevin:] [cough], no not, yeah I mean he's done well, like that
[Ruth:] Schofield's Europe
[Kevin:] Schofield's Europe, that's his second tour, and he's been all round the blinking Europe
[Ruth:] Yeah, he's brilliant ain't he?, goes anywhere he wants
[Kevin:] Talk about, yeah all at BBC's expense...
[Paul:] One black mark, wrong, red mark, no homework, I forget it
[Kevin:] Oh no, has it, what, exclamation mark? has it got no homework exclamation mark.
[Paul:] Just done a wrong one
[Kevin:] [sigh]
[Paul:] No, if I go over there
[Kevin:] Are those mine... mum hasn't rung and said Adrian's got that job yet has he, she?
[Paul:] No news is good news.
[Kevin:] Might be.
[Ruth:] I just stop in your mother...
[Kevin:] Ah weekend. that is pure as a mother.
[Ruth:] That's old that
[Kevin:] Is it?
[Ruth:] Bought that about eighteen months old that picture.
[Kevin:] No.
[Ruth:] It is, you gave the coat away... more than a year ago
[Kevin:] Oh, it's my sibo
[Paul:] What pure sibo
[Kevin:] That's pure unadulterated sibo that is...
[Paul:] Look at those shoes dad, that's ages ago
[Ruth:] What's that?
[Kevin:] There well
[Ruth:] what's that green track suit?...
[Kevin:] I think that's, you're right that's Robbie in the same class isn't it?, Robbie there. mummy, mummy reputed.
[Paul:] David.
[Kevin:] You can't be right about everything
[Ruth:] I don't know who is he?
[Paul:] David.
[Kevin:] Robbie pre-crew cut, Robbie
[Paul:] David.
[Kevin:] Looks like Robbie to me.
[Paul:] Robbie hasn't got dark hair.
[Ruth:] I don't think it's Robbie...
[Paul:] That's David, I know who's in his class.
[Kevin:] That boy still in his class?
[Paul:] Yeah, that's him.
[Kevin:] David still in his class?
[Paul:] I don't think, I know Robbie's gone, I'm not sure about him
[Ruth:] Well look at the sell buy date on the
[Kevin:] Well all you've got to know that Robbie's gone
[Ruth:] Look at the mark on the sell by date on the
[Kevin:] Look at the sell by, very funny Ruth.
[Ruth:] Well,
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] what are you talking []
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER] look at the sign of the packet [], I think it's ninety one.
[Kevin:] Can't be
[Ruth:] Oh,
[Kevin:] Yeah, who's Roy, oh the South African
[Ruth:] he's Prime Minister.
[Kevin:] It was eight four Ruth.
[Ruth:] Oh I thought he was dead a long time ago.
[Kevin:] Oh Ruth
[Ruth:] Didn't know he was still alive, he's made more money [LAUGHTER] you can make more money []
[Paul:] April ninety one.
[Kevin:] Yeah...
[Ruth:] That means it's at least a year old
[Paul:] Mm
[Kevin:] Who sent it?
[Ruth:] At least a year ahead.
[Kevin:] Who sent it?
[Ruth:] Guy sent it, gee look that's half a million quid.
[Paul:] Who died?
[Ruth:] Britain's smallest house is for sale at one and a half thousand pounds... [yawning] I'll buy it []...
[Paul:] How big is it, nine foot?
[Ruth:] Don't make sense really.
[Kevin:] Nine foot tall, that's not so bad if you
[Ruth:] No
[Kevin:] stand in that... might just be one room Might just be one room... wonder if I got my on my er B T shares?... foods cold by the time you get...
[Ruth:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kevin:] [LAUGHTER] they're more entertaining than the programme some of these adverts, more coffee Jason... [] even Mrs cries...
[Ruth:] What about?
[Paul:] Did she left?
[Kevin:] She left... What time was the party from then?
[Ruth:] Half past eight... doesn't start till half past nine..., blast I think I'll watch the telly at Moira's....
[Kevin:] [yawn], I didn't know you was doing a fashion parade, I thought you was going to get some toys.
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER].