[Lynne:] Oh!
[Chris:] Come on!
[Lynne:] What you doing? Leave it on
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] like that. Put it on!
[Chris:] So er... what's for tea mum?
[Lynne:] Well er
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] Can I have a bit more []?
[Lynne:] Wait a minute! I'm getting the thick stuff out of the bottle.
[Chris:] Cheers. Oh that's ver very nice.
[Lynne:] Well you want the thick stuff don't you?
[Chris:] No.
[Lynne:] Oh.
[Chris:] I hate thick stuff mum.
[Lynne:] No you won't.
[Chris:] Where's yours?
[Lynne:] ... Let's put on.
[Chris:] Don't like it. Slaved over a hot stove for you.
[Robert:] [LAUGHTER] Have you []?... [cough]
[Lynne:] Hot!
[Chris:] So you got enough dad?
[Robert:] Mhm.... Ooh! Ooh!.... What do you think of market research interviewer?
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] Give over Christopher! Here, there's a serviette.
[Chris:] Thank you mumsy.... [LAUGHTER]
[Robert:] Mm?
[Chris:] Say that again dad?
[Robert:] What was the weather like round here today?
[Chris:] Oh it was gorgeous!
[Robert:] Mm.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... It was erm... a bit cold.... [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] Freezing! Real cold.
[Chris:] Mum, the spaghetti's horrible. It's all short and
[Lynne:] Get it down you!
[Chris:] and yucky.... And why's he got that?
[Lynne:] He doesn't like spaghetti.
[Chris:] No wonder.... And, that's a... nice cardy mum. [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] Shut up... and eat your tea.
[Chris:] Yes mother. [slurping spaghetti]
[Robert:] Mm. Must we have slurping noises?
[Chris:] Who me?
[Lynne:] You can't help it.
[Chris:] Yeah. Shut up! You haven't got an excuse.... [slurping spaghetti]... [LAUGHTER]
[Robert:] How long does a tape last?
[Chris:] Forty five minutes. Well, ninety.
[Robert:] How much have you to record at once?
[Chris:] Most of, you know.
[Robert:] Well, what's to stop you recording forty five minutes now?
[Chris:] What?
[Robert:] What's to stop you recording forty five minutes now?
[Chris:] Nothing.
[Robert:] That's not what they want though is it?
[Chris:] Yeah. They don't mind. I don't care, as long as I get my money.
[Lynne:] Better behave yourself else they won't swap it.
[Chris:] What? [clears throat]... Who you gonna vote for then dad?
[Robert:] Er... probably some party.
[Chris:] Tell me dad.
[Lynne:] No, that's just one for the Conservatives if you do that. I'd like to do that, but you're just giving one to the Conservatives.
[Chris:] No you're not. You're not.
[Lynne:] You are in a way.
[Chris:] No it's to Labour you plonker!
[Lynne:] Mm?
[Chris:] Liberals aren't gonna join up with... erm... Conservative.
[Lynne:] I know.
[Robert:] You might vote for Conservative, but that's the Labour Party?
[Lynne:] Mm?
[Chris:] The Liberals' ll join up with Labour if anyone.
[Lynne:] But what if Conservative need someone... if they don't get a majority? What will happen then?
[Chris:] Then Labour... will get erm, will get a majority by... joining with Liberal.
[Lynne:] Oh. By joining with the Lib oh I se... oh well, well let them then.
[Robert:] Do what you want but don't, and vote for your husband's.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] I will not.
[Robert:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] Think for myself thank you.
[Chris:] You're not really gonna vote Paddy are you? Cor! Cor! Dad what will you vote for?
[Robert:] Conservative.
[Lynne:] No! Oh you snob! You are a snob.
[Robert:] I'm not!
[Chris:] You're just common. [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] Mm.
[Chris:] Should make people compete for th whatever they want. Shouldn't just let... flipping... just work nothing, do nothing. It doesn't give them any incentive to work if you just have everything nationalized and well... cos they know they're not gonna get sacked.
[Lynne:] No, the way things used to be was working very well thank you.
[Chris:] It was crap! It wasn't as good a service... all the services that are... got better.
[Lynne:] That's a matter of opinion.
[Chris:] Well look at British Telecom. Did you see what British Telecom's shares was yesterday dad?
[Robert:] Went downhill.
[Chris:] Very upsetting wasn't it?
[Robert:] Mm.
[Chris:] From ninety four and a half or something.... You're not serious that they're going to go to nothing could always go... down a hundred.
[Robert:] Mm.
[Chris:] That's good to know.... Bought any more shares?
[Lynne:] We tell the shares
[Robert:] I haven't any money.
[Lynne:] we saw the er
[Chris:] Ninety four and a half, eh?
[Lynne:] Paid a pound and ten P for those!
[Robert:] Mm.
[Chris:] Mummy, you've hardly, hardly got any.
[Lynne:] I've got a hundred.
[Chris:] Oh well, I've got three hundred and eighty.
[Lynne:] Eh you I, you! As soon as they reach a pound and twelve P, you sell them.
[Chris:] But they won't go back up to that now.
[Lynne:] No.... Put my money in a building
[Chris:] I'll be able to have dad.
[Lynne:] society.
[Chris:] Just in case
[Robert:] Pardon?
[Chris:] you forgot.
[Robert:] No. Again?
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Robert:] Are they sixteen now?
[Chris:] So?
[Robert:] Well, you better.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... What d'ya say before mum?
[Robert:] Mm mm?
[Chris:] She said something completely weird.
[Lynne:] Can't remember now.
[Chris:] Crikey!
[Lynne:] Oh I said I'd get more i... more interest in the building society
[Robert:] Well exactly
[Lynne:] on my money.
[Chris:] It's only seven point nine.
[Lynne:] Have we brought out a higher account?
[Chris:] No.
[Robert:] No love.
[Lynne:] A higher interest account. It was eleven when we opened it wasn't it?
[Chris:] Yep. The interest rate's come down. It means Gary doesn't have to pay as much on the mortgage.
[Lynne:] Oh well he can pay more and I'll have more interest.
[Chris:] When we getting a new car?
[Robert:] When my chauffeur... [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] What?... What we getting?
[Lynne:] A Fiat Uno.
[Chris:] A Rolls Royce. Yeah, I thought, I thought we both agreed on Lotus. You want a Fiat Uno?
[Robert:] Ori Orion.
[Chris:] Are you serious? The most unreliable
[Lynne:] Well
[Chris:] cars in the whole world!
[Lynne:] I'm only kidding!
[Chris:] Good. How the hell did Margaret get one of those?
[Lynne:] Not an Uno she's got, it's the one up. What, what's the name of it?
[Chris:] Yeah, she's got an Uno!
[Lynne:] It isn't, it's
[Chris:] It is!
[Robert:] Tipo.
[Chris:] No! It's not
[Lynne:] Well
[Chris:] a Tipo, it's an Uno!
[Lynne:] it an Uno and we saw her last week wasn't it?
[Robert:] The little one, no that was a... Fiat one two six.
[Lynne:] Oh.
[Robert:] Yes.
[Lynne:] Oh sorry. Well she's got an Uno. Oh I don't know what it is. It's a car anyway.
[Chris:] Crap!
[Lynne:] Got four wheels and an engine and it goes.
[Chris:] Yeah, and doesn't go.
[Lynne:] Oh hers has gone since she's had it.
[Chris:] Well it goes very noisily and horribly.
[Lynne:] Lots of cars are noisy.
[Robert:] Does she use it much? Or just running round the school?
[Chris:] It depends what you call by using it much?
[Robert:] Well I don't suppose she does more than about... thirty miles a week in it.
[Chris:] Oh I think she does more than that.
[Robert:] Mm.
[Lynne:] Children go out to evening things.
[Robert:] What?
[Lynne:] Dancing classes and such like.
[Chris:] Mum, why don't you ever enrol me in those?
[Robert:] Cos you, were rubbish.
[Lynne:] No I think we ought to
[Robert:] What was the verdict?
[Lynne:] That's not bad. But there's not much in it, it's just... crispy outside, they're empty inside. Half empty inside.
[Chris:] Oh.
[Robert:] Mm.
[Lynne:] Look!
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Robert:] Thanks.
[Chris:] What is it?
[Lynne:] Scampi.
[Chris:] Urgh! Urgh!
[Lynne:] Or is scampi style.
[Chris:] Well I, I just hope you're gonna eat all that.
[Lynne:] Never seen a scampi.
[Chris:] Scampi.
[Robert:] Mm.
[Chris:] [belch]... [LAUGHTER]
[Robert:] ?
[Lynne:] Not much.
[Robert:] Not so crispy.
[Lynne:] Too hard.... [cough]... Get off! Wipe your chin!
[Chris:] Shut up!
[Robert:] Do you want to turn it off now?
[Chris:] What?
[Robert:] Don't matter.
[Chris:] [cough]... I won't bother doing the washing up bowl in the sink.
[Lynne:] About time somebody left the.
[Chris:] Well
[Lynne:] I've had sufficient.
[Chris:] A what?
[Lynne:] a dishwasher.
[Chris:] Oh well that's not very nice is it?
[Lynne:] ... he does all the washing up and things.
[Chris:] Mm mm.... How you doing?
[Lynne:] Gonna sneeze. [sneeze]... [sneeze]... Ooh! [sniff]... [cough]
[Chris:] Oh!
[Lynne:] You got spaghetti down your front.
[Chris:] So?
[Lynne:] So?
[Chris:] Well there's Neighbours in. Ah! Ah! It's Neighbours in three minutes. Come on, talk to me! Quick! Quick! Quick! And
[Lynne:] No.
[Chris:] and erm... erm... erm... I like your hair.
[Lynne:] Oh!
[Chris:] Have you ever thought of getting?
[Lynne:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] In warm I might give my hair a wash.
[Chris:] What?
[Lynne:] In warm water.... The rest needs cutting.
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Lynne:] Oh look at that pudding Chris.
[Chris:] Which one?
[Lynne:] On there. It's a new one.
[Chris:] What is it?
[Lynne:] .....
[Chris:] Well I dunno, I just saw the filling. But
[Lynne:] Right. It's done now.
[Chris:] So it's done?
[Lynne:] Mm.
[Chris:] Okay.
[Lynne:] Okay. Do you want some?
[Chris:] Yes please. I am quite fit. Not too much.
[Lynne:] Yes.
[Chris:] Oh! Oh!
[Lynne:] Ooh! Got your got your foot in the way didn't you?
[Chris:] Tt! Shut up! Are you going tonight?
[Lynne:] Yes.
[Chris:] Er erm... I want [clears throat]... two
[Lynne:] I want
[Chris:] two... two erm... thingies... two Jaffa Cakes... two ba box of Jaffa Cakes... and Mini Cheddars... then I'll have to wait a minute please... have to wait again, and then a Coke... er erm... er er er erm... [singing] doo doo []. Is there a packet about?
[Lynne:] No.
[Chris:] No. Any more clothes?
[Lynne:] Mm? No!
[Chris:] Why not?
[Lynne:] It's too expensive.
[Chris:] It's not. Lasts me ages.
[Lynne:] Well, no. Can't... afford them.
[Chris:] I'm poor!
[Lynne:] So am I now.
[Chris:] I'm a pauper! [shouting] Ah []!
[Lynne:] Makes two of us.... [cough]
[Chris:] What doesn't taste
[Lynne:] Chips
[Chris:] nice?
[Lynne:] No. Chips when they're overdone. Brown. Too brown.
[Chris:] Yeah I know. So?
[Rhiannon:] [LAUGHTER] []
[Chris:] Why?
[Rhiannon:] [LAUGHTER] Oh! Not on the table []!
[Chris:] Why?
[Rhiannon:] [screaming] Oh no []! [LAUGHTER] Oh! Don't []!
[Chris:] Go on.
[Rhiannon:] [LAUGHTER] I hate having my voice on tape []! [LAUGHTER] I don't care! I hate my voice
[Chris:] You did that
[Rhiannon:] being on tape []!
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Explain it [].
[Rhiannon:] [LAUGHTER] What a fucking []!
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... Who?
[Rhiannon:] No I wanna say something, say something. Ah! I hate being taped! [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Rhiannon:] [clears throat]
[Chris:] You have to say something now Rhiannon. You can't
[Rhiannon:] No!
[Chris:] laughing
[Rhiannon:] I'm not saying it!
[Chris:] laughing can't go into it.
[Rhiannon:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Shut up! What have you, what have you done today? You must have done something interesting?
[Rhiannon:] Er erm
[Chris:] When you was out?
[Rhiannon:] No.
[Chris:] I'll put the tape back on.
[Rhiannon:] I've been giving the milkman a blow job, you know, that sort of thing. [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Rhiannon:] [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] That's all, I don't know [].
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Are you on about there []?
[Rhiannon:] No, I'm just telling you what I've done today.
[Chris:] Oh right.
[Rhiannon:] No I haven't done anything.
[Chris:] Oi! I'm changing the subject! [LAUGHTER]
[Rhiannon:] [LAUGHTER]... Well I.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... Oh.
[Rhiannon:] Gail's got glandular fever.... [clears throat]
[Chris:] Oh I've missed Harry Enfield. Oh I'm gonna miss Harry Enfield cos of you.
[Rhiannon:] Ah! Ah! Ah! Get it taped.
[Chris:] I can't, our video's packed up.
[Rhiannon:] Ah! Ah! Well... we could go down and watch it if you like.
[Chris:] No it's alright.
[Rhiannon:] Oh no. I'll let you if you want.
[Chris:] No it's alright.
[Rhiannon:] That's nasty!
[Chris:] What?
[Rhiannon:] That.
[Chris:] What?
[Rhiannon:] On about all blacks. You racist
[Chris:] Oh yeah.
[Rhiannon:] git!
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] That's not nasty, that's true [].
[Rhiannon:] [clears throat]
[Chris:] Tt. Pity all your bastards are blacks.
[Rhiannon:] And you won [clears throat] cos I haven't got a pin number.... Mm mm. [LAUGHTER]... Oh dear, it's still ta it's still ta
[Chris:] What?
[Rhiannon:] it's still taping. I don't like tapes, they're horrible.
[Chris:] They're not.
[Rhiannon:] So? [clears throat]... [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] What are you up to?
[Rhiannon:] That.... [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Oh fucking hell! What was I saying?
[Rhiannon:] I don't know. Er erm... not too bad, it's going through to bad. I don't... was is about school?
[Chris:] It can't have been about school.
[Rhiannon:] Was it something you heard at school?
[Chris:] Well I thought so.
[Rhiannon:] [clears throat]
[Chris:] I can't think.
[Rhiannon:] That was the... [clears throat]... er er ooh!
[Chris:] I love Benny Hill!
[Rhiannon:] I, I know! I just turned it up to stop.
[Chris:] Eh?
[Rhiannon:] You was gonna have a fever. Ah! See you are now, I reckon your, you've got glandular fever.
[Chris:] Right.... [cough]... Ah! I know what I was gonna do. I know what it was. It's to do with Anthony. I'll tell you
[Rhiannon:] Oh.
[Chris:] later. Tell you about it
[Rhiannon:] Tell me later.
[Chris:] It's just funny.... Well it wasn't that funny. It's
[Rhiannon:] [LAUGHTER] Oh dear!
[Chris:] He, he's really cut up about poor old Alex.
[Rhiannon:] Oh, is it Alex? Why did I think it was
[Chris:] Alex.
[Rhiannon:] whe I don't know who she was. [LAUGHTER]... Oh, what's she like? [clears throat]
[Chris:] Dunno. I haven't seen her. I apparently walked straight past her, but I don't think she saw that. Like, he didn't point her out to me till I'd gone past her. See?
[Rhiannon:] Oh.
[Chris:] But I.
[Rhiannon:] Oh yes.
[Chris:] Ooh!
[Rhiannon:] Okay, so tell me, ooh my God! What have you done to your arm?
[Chris:] Oh that was yesterday, when I was, when I was here.
[Rhiannon:] Oh, and they laughed co
[Chris:] When you were laughing at me.
[Rhiannon:] Sorry!
[Chris:] But it was worse before, after I had a shower it went down a bit, but it was really red... and.
[Rhiannon:] Oh! Great! You make me feel so good about myself. guilty laughing at you. Oh thank you.
[Chris:] Yeah but you, you [LAUGHTER] didn't know I was in amazing pain though [], I don't think. You know the
[Rhiannon:] No. Can yo
[Chris:] howls didn't give it away.
[Rhiannon:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Rhiannon:] Oh go on... oh go on, tell, tell me what was Anthony saying? on her face.
[Chris:] She has not!
[Rhiannon:] Well Carl she hasn't got spots all over her face.
[Chris:] She has not got very bad
[Rhiannon:] [clears throat]
[Chris:] They are not noticeable.
[Rhiannon:] Oh no! That's make-up, make-up like that sticks.
[Chris:] Oh well
[Rhiannon:] [scream]
[Chris:] wanted to make a they have on the
[Rhiannon:] The same skin. There isn't
[Chris:] Have you got any on that?
[Rhiannon:] No.
[Chris:] Honestly?
[Rhiannon:] [screaming] Honestly []! I haven't even bothered actually, I'm too tired. Who's that? But she
[Chris:] But
[Rhiannon:] haven't you seen when they come and sort of turns the light sort of hits her face
[Chris:] Oh that was ages ago!
[Rhiannon:] Oh! I saw her the other day. [screaming] She has!
[Chris:] Rubbish!
[Rhiannon:] She has []! It's true.
[Chris:] She has not got bad skin.
[Rhiannon:] Aargh! Aargh!
[Chris:] What was I was saying before.
[Rhiannon:] Oh oh!
[Chris:] No, no.
[Rhiannon:] It's all you think about!
[Chris:] It is not!
[Rhiannon:] It is! She has got bad spots. She's got really bad spots. She's got horrible spots.
[Chris:] She has not. Still nice
[Rhiannon:] She has.
[Chris:] though. She looks good.
[Rhiannon:] Oh! You're only looking at her body! Don't look
[Chris:] Do not!
[Rhiannon:] [screaming] Do []!
[Chris:] I do not. I like a bit of dominant, you know standing up for people in my woman. [LAUGHTER]
[Rhiannon:] You saying I don't?
[Chris:] No. [LAUGHTER]
[Rhiannon:] You saying I'm a passive... person?
[Chris:] No I'm not!
[Rhiannon:] A weak
[Chris:] No!
[Rhiannon:] I'm not Chris.
[Chris:] You're not. But... something else as well.
[Rhiannon:] [clears throat]
[Chris:] I can't think of one.
[Rhiannon:] That's. [clears throat]... [microphone covered up]...... Yeah. Only going a bit, I'm not quite sure actually. going a bit. Hasn't got any er.... Getting better. It's your tablets are o you know, working yet? You're doing well. Oh, if, if I haven't got, if I've got glandular fever... will you go get a blood test?
[Chris:] Will I go and get one?
[Rhiannon:] [clears throat] Yeah.
[Chris:] Suppose so.
[Rhiannon:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] I'll go to my nice doctor who won't... he'll be nice and gentle. I'm supposed to go for one tomorrow actually but can't be bothered.
[Rhiannon:] Why were you supposed to go tomorrow?
[Chris:] Just.
[Rhiannon:] You have to go before ten o'clock. Get it done... cos they send you off at ten. [clears throat]
[Chris:] How long's it take?
[Rhiannon:] About two seconds.
[Chris:] No, how long's it take to know?
[Rhiannon:] Oh right. I think it's about a week or something. I dunno. Tha I'm not quite sure.... It's so horrible though, they put this big band round your arm so this bone sticks out! [clears throat]... Then they stick the needle in you and pull on the blood and it's disgusting!
[Chris:] Well my bones stick out anyway.
[Rhiannon:] Mine don't. Look at that.
[Chris:] Well do they like or do they stick, stick the thing round, round their arm
[Rhiannon:] Yeah. They have to.
[Chris:] for the blood supply.
[Rhiannon:] They have to put a blood so, so that the bone sticks out, a bit more than that.
[Chris:] ?
[Rhiannon:] I think. I dunno. Mine doesn't stick out enough. Oh that's sick! Oh yeah, what were you gonna tell me?
[Chris:] It was about, I thought it was about how erm... how erm Who brought it up?
[Rhiannon:] You did. Did! [clears throat]... How much tape have you used up?
[Chris:] About half of one side.
[Rhiannon:] I don't like tapes.
[Chris:] I've got twenty tapes. But I don't have to fill them all.
[Rhiannon:] How many do you have to fill?
[Chris:] As many as I can.... Summat like that.
[Rhiannon:] How many have you filled already?
[Chris:] None.
[Rhiannon:] Can I listen to the... the bit that you've done?
[Chris:] Er er... well you can when I've finished this side.
[Rhiannon:] Oh well
[Chris:] But it's dead boring. I dunno I haven't actually listened to it. Well go and turn the headphones off.
[Rhiannon:] It's attacking me. They're crap cos. And so I have done something from a plane. [clears throat]... Cos my dad made mine. And they never gave them back.
[Chris:] Oh dear.
[Rhiannon:] [cough]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... Okay I'll buy it.
[Simon:] Absolutely amazing!
[Chris:] Was it crap when you?
[Simon:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Excuse me, if you don't like it.
[Chris:] You got a C D player?
[Simon:] Yeah.
[Chris:] Okay I'll... I'll sell it for sixty.
[David:] Sixty.
[Simon:] It doesn't really take getting used to Led Zeppelin does it? It sort of has
[David:] Ah! Ah!
[Simon:] an impact on you. But Pink Floyd you gotta e you have with Pink Floyd. You listen to it the first time you don't like it and then after that then
[Chris:] I hated it the first time. I thought, oh, it's too much special effects and
[Simon:] Yeah. Yeah. That's right. You listen and you
[Chris:] afterwards you think, oh it's brilliant!
[Simon:] and then listen to it the second time and you go, ah! This is good. This is
[Chris:] I do that. I don't do that
[Simon:] but like and so
[Chris:] I do that with U Two.
[Simon:] some of them's got... and the special effects in. You gotta get into the rocking mood and you
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... Okay. I'll get it.
[Simon:] Brilliant!
[Chris:] I'll go into town on Saturday and I'll get the big... four C D box set for fifty five quid.
[David:] What's the first song on it?
[Simon:] Communication Breakdown.
[David:] Yeah.
[Chris:] It's got tons on it!
[David:] Communication Breakdown is not a
[Simon:] Ah no!
[David:] good one. You don't like that?
[Simon:] Very good.
[David:] I like that. [singing] Communication breakdown.
[Simon:] [singing] Communication breakdown.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] [].
[Simon:] []. What, what have you done? I don't, I don't like.
[David:] Don't you? Babe I'm Gonna Leave Ya. Ah! That is my favourite song
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] that is!
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] It's all mellow and then it just goes... ah! God!
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Absolutely amazing!
[Chris:] Mm. Good Times, Bad Times.
[Simon:] That's good. That's excellent.
[Chris:] [singing] Der now, cha cha, der now, in the day []
[Simon:] Ah!
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] Thank you. Ah ah!
[David:] Mm.
[Chris:] Yeah I'll definitely buy it.
[Simon:] You should. It's absolutely brilliant! Absolutely.
[Chris:] I'm gonna spend a hundred quid on music on Saturday.
[David:] A hundred quid on what?
[Chris:] I've got a hundred and eighty
[Simon:] Well where er
[Chris:] I've, I've got hundred and eighty quid now to go spend on clothes.
[Simon:] And where d'ya get all that from?
[Chris:] For my birthday and... er er me clothes money as well, I'm supposed to buy clothes but I never do, I always buy C Ds. I get thirty quid a month.
[David:] Thirty quid a month?
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Simon:] Andy gets that.
[Chris:] Plus, plus I get extra as well whenever I ask for it she just gives it me I just say I've spent it all. But I never have. Mu mu my mum says that I've got to show all receipts at the end of the year and if I haven't got any then she wants it all back, but she's... she can piss off as far [LAUGHTER] that's concerned []!
[David:] Oh!
[Chris:] That's rather impressive.
[Simon:] Mm.
[Chris:] I haven't bought any clothes for so long. I hate buying clothes, it's horrible!
[Simon:] You hate it?
[Chris:] I hate buying clothes!
[David:] Yeah I hate shopping like that.
[Chris:] I, oh no! The o the only shopping I like is shopping for music, but even then I can't decide and, it's horrible. And most of the clothes I hate! I'm so picky about the clothes I get, and even then I
[Simon:] What you wanna buy is
[Chris:] don't like them much.
[Simon:] you wanna buy some blue on black jeans.
[Chris:] Blue on black?
[Simon:] Have you not seen those?
[Chris:] No.
[Simon:] It's black with blue dye over the top. Like really dark blue.
[speaker007:] Ah ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
[Simon:] They look brilliant! Er
[Chris:] Where do you get them from?
[Simon:] I dunno. Aflex I think.
[Chris:] Where is that?
[Simon:] You've not been to Aflex?
[David:] No.
[Chris:] No.
[David:] Ah!
[Simon:] Erm... you know Piccadilly Bus Station?
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Simon:] Well you know you ge there's Our Price there?
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Simon:] Well you go up towards Piccadilly Train Station
[David:] Down Alban Street is it?
[Simon:] and you go, turn left down Alban Street. And you go down there... and er....
[Chris:] What happens right if the tickets for the U Two concert come out while Si's in Mexico?
[David:] I buy them for him.
[Chris:] Are we definitely going? Cos he said something about... we might not have the flat.
[David:] He's gonna phone me from Mexico.
[Chris:] I know, but... if it works out that we haven't got the flat then what the fuck are we gonna do?
[David:] Cry.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] I mean what the fuck are you gonna do with the tickets?
[David:] We can go up Birmingham. Are they doing Birmingham?
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah, but if you buy tickets for London they don't accept them in Birmingham [].
[David:] No. We buy them from Birmingham and stay with my brother.
[Chris:] Well that's good. Your brother hates me!
[David:] He won't be there.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Won't be there. He won't be there.
[Chris:] Won't he?
[David:] He'll be at home.
[Chris:] Why?
[David:] Or will he? I think he will.
[Chris:] If it's a house for university then they only rent it out.
[David:] No. It's a house. He's bought it.
[Chris:] He's bought a house?
[David:] In with some friends.
[speaker007:] He bought a house?
[David:] He bought a house.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] So your brother's just fairly well off?
[David:] No. He's not well off at all.
[Chris:] So your
[Simon:] Who's not?
[Chris:] parents paid for it?
[David:] Yep.
[Chris:] Ooh my God! [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] Bye. Bye.
[David:] Stop! Bye.
[Simon:] Bye.
[Chris:] Are you gonna have the house or not in London? Er, the flat?
[Simon:] I might.
[Chris:] What do you mean, might? We need to know.
[Simon:] I've never thought you'd.
[Chris:] Oh!
[Simon:] No I don't know. But, yeah probably.
[Chris:] Well when will you know?
[Simon:] As soon as I know when the dates are... fo for the concert.
[Chris:] Oh right.
[speaker007:] What concert you going to Si?
[Chris:] Why, when, when will you have it?
[Simon:] Well I'll have it when I need it. If I need to get in for
[Chris:] Well I thought you said there's people in it.
[Simon:] What?
[Chris:] There's people in it you said.
[Simon:] Chuck them out then won't we?
[speaker007:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Just for you? Your mum'd do that?
[Simon:] Yeah. She would.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Oh. You serious?
[Simon:] Yep.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] What?
[Chris:] Just for one night?
[Simon:] Well, for me.
[Chris:] Your mum would chuck them out?
[Simon:] Yep. Kick them out. Yep!
[Chris:] Serious?
[Simon:] She'd kick them out.
[Chris:] Oh my God!
[David:] What?
[Simon:] The boy's not hearing right.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... Piss off!
[Simon:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] [talk in background]
[Chris:] That's the guy coming in.
[David:] He does on Thursdays?
[Simon:] Has he? Where d'ya hear that?
[Chris:] On Thursday? Isn't it tomorrow?
[David:] No.
[Simon:] No. with the whole bloody!
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] What?
[Simon:] He gave up to sixteen. And he gave twenty three over
[Chris:] And I came back to him, twenty one sixteen.
[Simon:] sixteen. So er...
[David:] What the fuck... what game's that?
[Simon:] Nothing exciting.
[Chris:] It was a good game. [in school field or playground]
[David:] Even though you lost?
[Simon:] Yeah good game wasn't it?
[David:] Yeah.
[Chris:] Who won?
[Simon:] [sigh]
[David:] upside down.
[Chris:] Yeah well it was the, it was a week ago so it's not what I did to it, it wouldn't stay soggy after what I did to it.
[David:] ?
[Chris:] I made it. I mean, she put it in the freezer so it's gonna... er all
[David:] Oh, oh right.
[Chris:] go like that see what I mean?
[David:] It's not my fault. Don't go blaming me! It was your fault!
[Chris:] It was quite nice after that when we tried it out. [a team game going on in background with a lot of shouting] It was absolutely.... Well I did the chocolate anyway. We made the chocolate as well. Well I did. Took about... bloody half an hour to get it out the pan!
[Simon:] You are sick! You are absolutely gross!
[David:] What's wrong?
[Simon:] Look at him it's all on his gob! [LAUGHTER] Looks like a spliff! []
[David:] I know it's, all got it round his gob!
[Simon:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] I'm gonna sulk.
[Simon:] Wo! Ah ah ah ah ah!
[Chris:] Ah ah ah ah ah!... What are in them anyway?
[Simon:] Everything.
[David:] Lettuce... lettuce, mayonnaise
[Chris:] And he could have salt but he doesn't.
[Simon:] Salt's bad for your heart so
[David:] Do I care?
[speaker007:] [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] No. I've got bloody ham and mustard.
[Chris:] So have I. [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] Oh no, go on!
[David:] No! God! I haven't got a.
[Simon:] [LAUGHTER] It's your fault [].
[Chris:] I got injured in this game as well.
[David:] He won't, he wa he, I had him down on the
[Chris:] Two all I got injured.
[David:] floor three times.
[Chris:] At two all I got injured. And then
[David:] I was trying make a dive and missed it
[Chris:] then I fell and bloody stretched my groin! And you know the
[David:] Cos I had him, I just, I just had him like that... first sixteen points and we couldn't play properly cos no one won.
[Simon:] What do you mean, couldn't play it properly?
[David:] There was no place I could run.
[Chris:] For the ones who played table tennis innit?
[Simon:] I know.
[David:] Great! We just had to make twenty one.
[Simon:] You always make twenty one. Stop.
[David:] I know.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] They wanted to play.
[Chris:] Oh I go ah is that you?
[David:] Was it? Do you know about this Si?
[Chris:] What happened?
[David:] Got half each.
[Chris:] Oh! Oh! Ho! Ho!... [playing game in background] Oh yeah! I got your I T book Si.
[Simon:] You've got it?
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Simon:] Both of them?
[Chris:] You le you left it in the room today, I picked it up and I forgot to give it you. So I've left it at home.
[Simon:] Yeah but if everyone
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] in this place as well. Like me.
[Chris:] What are they?
[David:] Bacon flavour.
[Simon:] Well, where is it?
[Chris:] What? It's at home.
[Simon:] I need it!
[Chris:] Well I forgot! [LAUGHTER]... There's
[Simon:] You
[Chris:] nothing in it anyway. I read it, it's a load of crap! [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] Have you? Seriously?
[David:] [sighing] Oh [] you
[Simon:] What, didn't you like it?
[Chris:] No.
[Simon:] I thought it was pretty good actually.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] I thought it was a load of bollocks but it was good.
[David:] You're a bugger!
[Simon:] I don't need it any more, I've written it all up again.
[Chris:] How much you done?
[Simon:] [eating with mouth full] Six hundred words.
[Chris:] How?
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] How? Cos I've just done words
[Chris:] How many pages is that?
[Simon:] Right, guess what I called it? Information Technology in Service Industries. I mean, it's such a wide topic as I said, it's got anything.
[David:] What about it?
[Simon:] And I'm just, I'm, I'm just going through the thing and writing out different points for each thing. [wind blowing in microphone so cannot hear]
[Chris:] It's not actually.
[David:] Did we have to hand it in?
[Chris:] No. You hand it in before Easter if you want it marked... and checked. But after Easter you just wanna hand it in and just sod it. I don't care.
[David:] I'll bring it after Easter. Just hand it in on time.
[Simon:] I'm gonna hand mine in tomorrow.
[Chris:] What the first? Bollocks!
[Simon:] Good as it'll ever be.
[Chris:] Six hundred words is nowhere near enough. Six thousand'll be about close enough. You should see what he says.
[Simon:] But I'm gonna one thousand
[Chris:] You a
[Simon:] words, but that's all I'm
[Chris:] yo
[Simon:] gonna do.
[Chris:] You have wi write about... five hundred words just to cover each point. You have to give loads and loads like.
[Simon:] Fuck off!
[Chris:] You do!
[Simon:] Sod that!
[Chris:] Have you do
[David:] What meat?
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] Yeah well
[David:] [LAUGHTER]. put meat for one of his answers []!
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] What?
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] About five points, he's just put meat.
[Simon:] Fine!
[David:] [LAUGHTER] He told you to do anything and that's all that []
[Simon:] Well worth watching.
[Chris:] No if you don't
[David:] computer- based
[Chris:] [belch]
[David:] computer database.
[Simon:] Electronic.
[Chris:] Have you done it?
[Simon:] Well, I've done some of it.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Have you fuck!
[Chris:] You still doing your three hours a night revision?
[David:] You only had to do, you only had to do one or two lines.
[Simon:] After two or three hours at night I've just started.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... What have you done? Have you done a lot?
[Simon:] You've just been made to sit in this room for three hours. [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... Well that's a bastard innit?
[David:] And I'm gonna go the other side.
[Chris:] You go you got any headphones? [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] Yeah. He caught me last time though.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] Well I was singing, so...
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] And he had visitors and so they could hear me singing.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... I haven't done any yet. Not bad.... You don't know what it's like Anyway Si, probably do better than me. And I have done some.
[Simon:] Yeah I doubt if I'll do any [LAUGHTER] to be []
[David:] ...
[Simon:] Tha that's, I suppose, got chemicals in it and it'll come off on your food.
[David:] What? Yeah. Give it a go also. If it's stored any longer then... it's not.
[Simon:] [LAUGHTER]... Especially in hot weather. Don't taste so nice in hot weather.
[David:] Yeah I know.
[Chris:] It all melts onto your food. Gorgeous! You can taste the plasticy sort of... chemical taste.
[David:] Aha.
[Simon:] Oh well. [wind blowing in microphone]
[Chris:] It's not all airy.
[David:] Why? Piss off then!
[Chris:] I like airy but if, when you push them down they come back up.
[David:] Yeah. Let's have one.
[Chris:] No. Piss off!
[David:] Oh please.
[Chris:] No. Piss off!
[David:] Ooh! Right you bastard!
[Chris:] So!
[David:] Hey, I better go.
[Chris:] You don't get it with half a Jaffa Cake.
[David:] Oh yeah! I want one, I want that
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] flipping Jaffa Cake!
[Chris:] Piss off!
[David:] Bloody hell! half a Jaffa Cake. You give me one M & M one time
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Er fucking hell! and one in my hand.
[Chris:] You're ungrateful.
[David:] Alright.
[Chris:] Oh and like you not talking to Olivia.
[Simon:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... Ungrateful? I didn't even bloody taste it!
[Simon:] Bit small
[Chris:] I've heard about you not talking to Olivia for about two weeks.
[David:] Who told you this?
[Chris:] Dunno.
[David:] Yeah erm... yeah.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] It was... a week on Friday.
[Chris:] Why?
[David:] Cos she's got a friend over and she's ignoring me. And I'm gonna drop her.
[Chris:] Are you? Bollocks you will!
[David:] I bet you I will.
[Chris:] Bollocks!
[David:] She's here for another two weeks and if I don't speak to her in those two weeks I'm dropping her.
[Chris:] Bollocks!
[David:] Well I'm gonna, I'm gonna talk to her first. Tell her about.... And say, give me a bit of attention please....
[Chris:] And what do you think she'll say?
[David:] Dunno. Aha.
[Simon:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] She should.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Right. She'll either do that
[Simon:] Don't spit on my bread!
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] [LAUGHTER]... Adrian says she'll be in a huff right.
[David:] Oh! Yeah I know. I'm gonna
[Simon:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Ha aargh! [LAUGHTER]
[Simon:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Oh! And we've lost it.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... Wait a minute.
[David:] [scream]
[Simon:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Oh yeah.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] ! What a pratt!
[Simon:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] What do you reckon? I reckon it's disgusting that is!
[Simon:] [LAUGHTER] I reckon it's good []... [LAUGHTER]... Oh you got little crunchy bits in your sandwiches now. [LAUGHTER]
[David:] I better not have! If I have
[Chris:] Of the regional erm... team and erm, and erm, he was asked to go, to go on to play international
[David:] And he said no
[Chris:] but he couldn't, he couldn't
[Steven:] Couldn't he play for a club?
[David:] He was going to the fair
[Steven:] Couldn't he play for a club?
[Chris:] He was still young
[David:] No, I don't think he was asked playing football internationally
[Steven:] How old was he?
[Chris:] I dunno seventeen something like that... so, he had to go and get a job
[Steven:] Well what's wrong with footballer for a job?
[David:] Ah, he'd rather work at home
[Chris:] Well if you don't make it you're skint are you? Aren't you?
[Steven:] Yeah well you're skint
[David:] Are you?
[Steven:] at the time anyway weren't he?... He'd got nothing to lose
[Chris:] He wasn't actually, his parents were quite well off
[David:] Well then you could get the money off him Chris
[Steven:] Are your parents well off?...
[Chris:] Depends what you call well off really.
[Steven:] Do they vote Conservative?
[Chris:] No.
[Steven:] Poor then. [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] What do you vote?
[Steven:] Er, my dad said he's voted Liberal Democrat, but he didn't my mum voted Labour she's
[Chris:] My dad voted Labour, my brother and my sis my brother and my dad,mu my brother and my mum voted Liberal Democrat... my dad pissed off [LAUGHTER] said it was a wasted vote, but...
[David:] Why don't you just give up did he cry?
[Steven:] I wouldn't blame him if he did.
[Chris:] He must, he must get so pissed off with that mustn't he?
[Steven:] I know.
[Chris:] He must just feel like saying to everybody
[Steven:] They should sack Neil Kinnock he's a daft Welsh git
[Chris:] only when they're close to it as well
[Steven:] No, he's a good guy is Neil Kinnock
[Chris:] He's crap. Who would you vote for then this year? I'd have voted in Labour
[Steven:] Crap
[Chris:] Why?
[Steven:] [cough]
[Chris:] Conservative are for the rich.
[Steven:] They're not.
[Chris:] They are.
[Steven:] What about, what about the lower tax band they've brought out?
[Chris:] exactly, that's for rich people, it only really helps the rich that's been
[Steven:] It does not
[Chris:] they pay no tax anyway
[Steven:] That, that well helps the er poor people, cos a lot of the poor people don't near enough pay tax now because if they do they only have to pay twenty P
[David:] The poor people, who are these poor people?
[Chris:] Look look that helps out the rich
[Steven:] That does not
[Chris:] that's the object of this
[Steven:] that makes a very tiny difference in it, but to poorer people it makes a big difference... that was brought in to help poor people
[Chris:] you, the likes of you what do you mean who the fuck are these poor people?
[David:] The bastards
[Chris:] Yeah but, what you, what d'ya say
[Steven:] a poor person summed up yeah, well that was what he said.
[David:] Yeah I know.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Steven:] Aha... [clears throat]... thank you.... So what was your favourite then?
[Chris:] What, what's on the tape?
[Steven:] What's on?
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Steven:] First one on the second side
[Chris:] You like that did ya?
[Steven:] I like that.
[Chris:] Did you record it?
[Steven:] No, I've got to tape that
[Chris:] See, he's got all this bloody one thousand quid bloody hi-fi, hasn't got a double deck
[Steven:] Single one holds that
[Chris:] Yeah, but you can't record then
[Steven:] So what, when you're paying that much for the hi-fi you don't expect sound quality you'll get from a tape to tape, it's thought, the sound quality is so crap you might as well just do it on a shit thing...
[Chris:] Did you follow this saying?
[David:] No I ain't got a clue what he said then
[Steven:] Look when you, when you tape tape to tape
[Chris:] Why's it, why
[Steven:] it's gonna be
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Steven:] a really crap sound quality
[Chris:] It's not
[Steven:] It is, it's crap....
[Chris:] don't bloody notice the difference
[Steven:] You do
[David:] You don't
[Steven:] well you do on mine put it that way
[David:] Oh well we would wouldn't we?...
[Chris:] Shit
[Steven:] What more d'ya put? [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] ...
[Chris:] aren't you suppose to
[David:] you taping or
[Chris:] into a [LAUGHTER]
[David:] you're taping all this?
[Chris:] aren't you supposed to put it into a conversation though?
[Steven:] supposed to find out, supposed to say what it is first
[David:] What for?
[Chris:] Shut up
[Steven:] say what's it for, I bet he's put in a conversation
[David:] What?
[Steven:] don't say what the proper
[David:] Don't put it in a conversation
[Steven:] Yeah
[David:] No
[Steven:] do have to.
[David:] you don't
[Chris:] You don't
[Steven:] You do.
[David:] You don't
[Chris:] What's
[David:] go in and ask the following questions, just write what the questions are
[Steven:] Oh right
[Chris:] Yeah, well let's see yours a minute.
[David:] without ripping it
[Chris:] Without ripping it... do
[Steven:] Thank you, er it's gonna be dead er good this summer
[Chris:] What?
[Steven:] sit the exams, on about twenty fifth of June we'll be going on holiday, for a week, then shall go and see, well hope I should say, then I'll probably go and see U Two, hopefully, then I'll get to go on holiday on me own for two weeks oh well I'm going
[David:] I'll be
[Steven:] nowhere
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Steven:] no, I might be going to London
[David:] How d'ya spell tout suite?
[Steven:] What? For a laugh with erm Sally, this lad called Ben, one of Sally's pals from Sweden
[David:] Hmm, Sweden?
[Steven:] Yeah, and this other lad called Mark
[Chris:] What you going for?
[Steven:] To get pissed basically...
[Chris:] Why don't you just do it here?
[Steven:] Because, because you can do it properly there, you can get really plastered.
[Chris:] You can do it here.
[Steven:] No you can't.
[Chris:] You can do, when you're that pissed it doesn't make any difference just anyway
[Steven:] We're going out, we're going out probably to a strip party
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Steven:] we're gonna do all the things that
[speaker007:] ...
[Steven:] a strip bar followed by a
[speaker007:] ...
[Chris:] Eh?
[Steven:] What you do?
[Chris:] stuff like school and hobbies
[Steven:] was it hard?
[Chris:] No it's
[Steven:] do you say it in English or in French?
[David:] French
[Chris:] no it's just, it's just the same as these, it's easy
[Steven:] Oh, aye
[David:] You what?
[Chris:] It's just the same as what we've done in the first one, and we're gonna be well up on this
[Steven:] You've just wasted your time?
[Chris:] No
[Steven:] You didn't?
[Chris:] no, it's to
[David:] Well what's
[Chris:] cos I learnt this for my, for the, for the mock and that just who's fault was that?
[David:] was that?
[Steven:] Did they
[Chris:] That's ra that's rather humorous
[Steven:] Aye, I thought it was [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] and I, I'm sure did as well, a very nice one...
[Steven:] Half bottle of white wine...
[Chris:] is a bottle of?
[Steven:] we, so I can still talk French, yes, yeah it is
[Chris:] Oh don't start, I hate people who do that
[Steven:] No I didn't do it on purpose I'm sorry I'll try and stop
[Chris:] You'd bloody like to go on holiday to America and they come back with an American accent... I could shoot people who do that.
[David:] Why, you, he goes home and comes back full of the Scottish accent.
[Chris:] The, I'm naturally Scottish so that's erm
[Steven:] Come let's hear your Scottish accent.
[Chris:] No
[Steven:] Why not?
[Chris:] Hannah does that a lot, right, she goes to America and she comes back with an American accent, she goes to Scotland, she comes back with a Scottish accent, oh
[Steven:] Oh
[David:] and Steve you can't help picking up things can ya?
[Steven:] bollocks you go for two weeks, no you can
[Chris:] But hers is really false hers is like no, like this
[Steven:] My sister picks up a
[Chris:] oh well that's bloody normal innit?
[Steven:] Go on let's listen, let's hear it
[Chris:] No
[Steven:] no, why not?
[Chris:] No
[Steven:] You're embarrassed
[Chris:] I did my Irish one in front of him it was really good
[David:] Yeah his Irish one is so top
[Steven:] Go on then let's hear your Irish one.
[Chris:] Wanna hear yours first.
[Steven:] No, no, no, I wanna hear your Irish one
[David:] His is so top, go on just do it, go on you, you git
[Steven:] [LAUGHTER] Sorry
[David:] do your bloody thing, go on
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Steven:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] [mimicking] just a sec, just do your accent will ya []?
[Chris:] I can't do it like that I can't just turn it on
[David:] Go on do it
[Chris:] who you trying to turn it on, with everybody speaking Scottish, you speak Scottish
[Steven:] Yeah
[Chris:] [mimicking] Ooh aye Jimmy [] [LAUGHTER]
[Steven:] Oh alright then
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Have you got my haggis?
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Not very stereotype then, go on, I did mine
[Steven:] I've gotta, I've gotta think of one, I've gotta think of what to say
[Chris:] go on
[David:] Can you say er, can, can you tell me the way to the nearest post office please?
[speaker007:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] No go on, just say something... [LAUGHTER]
[Steven:] I'm bound to do it break better
[Chris:] Oh come on do it
[David:] Come on you big girl do it
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] you big Jessie
[David:] oh aye
[Steven:] You a conomy?
[David:] conomy?
[Steven:] Instead of Cockney
[David:] Oh
[Steven:] what's, what's white wine
[David:] Cockney alright, er
[Steven:] What? I'm... actually have I got to know
[David:] Scottish can, can you do your big Rab Nesbit, really broad?
[Steven:] No, I won't try that
[David:] Broad Glasgow
[Steven:] I'm thinking, I'm thinking
[David:] Go on
[Steven:] it's hard you know you can't just do it
[David:] Oh I've heard you do it before
[Chris:] I just come straight out with it
[Steven:] When I'm, when I'm when I'm in an
[David:] I've heard you do it before
[Steven:] environment with other Scottish people I can do it
[Chris:] I didn't with my Irish thing, just spit out with it
[Steven:] Yeah I know, but I can't do that
[Chris:] Can't ya?
[Steven:] No
[David:] Well that's no good is it?
[Chris:] Can't you come out with anything?
[Steven:] I've been down here for bloody nine years I've missed it a bit
[Chris:] I, I put on
[David:] Yeah, but you can still talk
[Chris:] I haven't, I, I, I've never been to Ireland
[David:] you can still talk it over though
[Chris:] I have never been to Ireland
[Steven:] Well is that a proper Scott Irish accent then?
[David:] Have you got an Irish mum or dad?
[Chris:] Yes that's a a perfect Irish accent
[Steven:] Do your mum and dad have an Irish accent?
[Chris:] Slightly, just a bit, not much though, just pick it up from, you know people talking on T V and stuff... come on
[Steven:] Yours comes natural you see
[Chris:] Oh just try it then we don't care, we won't laugh, much
[Steven:] You will laugh
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Steven:] I know you'll laugh, but
[David:] Er
[Chris:] is your hair thickener working? [LAUGHTER]
[Steven:] I don't use it...
[David:] That was out of order that...
[Chris:] Oh that was tight that moment
[David:] get him back, is that spot cream working?
[Steven:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]
[Steven:] [LAUGHTER] You are a tight bastard
[Chris:] That was, that was, that was uncalled for
[Steven:] Mr sensitivity there, is your fucking hair thickener working.
[David:] [LAUGHTER] Well is it? [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] Come on
[Chris:] ah, he's upset now, I'm sorry about it
[Steven:] I'm not...
[Chris:] you should laugh look, less fortunate...
[David:] God [LAUGHTER]
[Steven:] You'll go bald
[Chris:] No I won't
[David:] What's this, I'm not very hungry?
[Steven:] I dunno
[Chris:] Je ne faim pas innit?
[David:] Yeah
[Chris:] Is your brother still going out with that bird?
[Steven:] Yeah well I don't know
[Chris:] how long, how long's he been out with her?...
[Steven:] Since about Christmas now
[David:] What, is that, is that the blonde brassy?
[Chris:] So he's shagged her now?
[David:] The one who's no the blonde lad, the one who used to sit on the door, er
[Chris:] Has he gone completely bald yet?
[David:] stopping us going, ooh
[Steven:] He's very very thin
[David:] aha
[Chris:] Is he yet?
[David:] Is that the one who used to be
[Steven:] No he
[David:] used to be a six former at ours?
[Steven:] so what if
[Chris:] no, no, don't, don't you tend to er stand in front of the mirror and admiring your
[David:] , should keep should keep it growing really long so when you go a bit thin, just grease it over like this
[Steven:] That's worse that it looks terrible that
[David:] and brush it all in [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] I think you should shave it all off, aye
[David:] Yeah you should go in, you right, right said
[speaker007:] Oh
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] What she called?
[Steven:] Lyndsey
[Chris:] Ooh I hate that name
[Steven:] What?
[Chris:] I hate that name...
[Steven:] What's your girl friend called?
[Chris:] Rhiannon
[Steven:] Rhiannon, oh, no comment, I rest my case [LAUGHTER] no it's alright that
[Chris:] Has he shagged her yet though?
[Steven:] No he doesn't intend to
[David:] Oh you're, you're the er
[Chris:] He doesn't intend to
[David:] not before marriage, marriage either is she like that as well?
[Chris:] Yeah.
[David:] She, er, whatever
[Chris:] What, what ever?
[David:] Does she go to church?
[Chris:] Yeah
[David:] She what ever
[Chris:] she does, yeah
[David:] I think she's a what ever, yeah
[Steven:] She's an interesting person then?
[Chris:] She is actually
[David:] You are so bloody cheeky you are
[Chris:] What's wrong with that about, oh what's wrong with that? I don't know it is, yeah
[Steven:] So it's a bit of a... a bit boring
[Chris:] It is
[David:] what time do you have to get up on a Sunday morning?
[Steven:] Er seven
[Chris:] It starts at eleven
[David:] Oh that's alright
[Chris:] that's, that's the modern church cos he knows everyone's getting pissed on a Saturday night, so they've gotta let it
[David:] What you do?
[Chris:] Sing songs and
[Steven:] In the church?
[Chris:] Yeah
[David:] Sing, you sing some songs and
[Steven:] I, I, I've been to church twice
[David:] does it get a bit boring?
[Chris:] It doesn't, no
[Steven:] Have you ever been to church at night?
[David:] No
[Steven:] I went with the Cubs once and we sat there pissing ourselves
[David:] Yeah I did go
[Steven:] and I went erm at Christmas once and it was bollocks, I just went hey, I wish I, glad I don't go to church
[David:] Do you believe in it all?
[Chris:] I dunno
[David:] Why d'ya go if you don't believe in it?
[Steven:] What are you? Are you er one of them blokes that don't believe in it?
[Chris:] I'm not, I'm not sure about it all, it's interesting that's why I go
[Steven:] I don't believe in it
[David:] Not in
[Steven:] I did it I think that the way they, they've explained it scientifically but
[David:] not in, I have to go, but not interested
[Chris:] That's crap that place, that is so boring
[speaker007:] D'ya go to church?
[Steven:] Which one do you go?
[David:] No, I used to
[Steven:] In Altrincham
[speaker007:] D'ya sing?
[Steven:] What sort is it? Is it a Catholic one?
[Chris:] Baptist
[Steven:] Baptist, what's that mean? I don't understand all these differences
[David:] Just pay your money and you put it in the tray
[Chris:] It's just you believe in baptizing
[Steven:] Were you baptized?
[David:] No
[Steven:] [LAUGHTER] That makes sense
[Chris:] Baptize you... why not?
[Steven:] Why weren't you baptized?
[David:] You make such a decision you make when you, when
[Steven:] The decision you make when you
[David:] Yeah
[Steven:] Right aargh you don't christened at a baptist church
[David:] Of course you can get baptized when ya, er at any age can't ya?
[Steven:] It's not baptizing, christening is different
[David:] You can get baptized any time can't ya?
[Steven:] Yeah
[David:] when you're baptized
[Steven:] it's your own decision
[David:] when you're baptized it's like a pool of water...
[speaker007:] Three or four of us start, er three or four of us talking yesterday, day before yesterday, erm, about... the attitude generally of erm students in the, the sixth form, years twelve and thirteen, and and erm, it struck us that erm possibly in this year's lower sixth erm there, there are one or two people, boys and er lads and girls, erm who are not aware
[Chris:] Boys and lads and girls
[speaker007:] of what sixth form courses entails, now, erm, three or four of us thought it might be worth our while, or your while if you just briefly said what I'm going to say now, that erm, the, the
[Chris:] It's a bit vague innit?
[speaker007:] work you do up to G C S E is very difficult, that it should be very different from erm, when you're in the sixth form
[Chris:] Why?
[speaker007:] Because until G C S E you are fed, the school is fed, in that you are told fairly quickly what you have to do and although I know that a number of you spends the right amount of time or a lot of time on homework, you are told usually, er you have erm a night or two nights in which to do this particular piece of work... now once you get into the sixth form
[Chris:] I can tell I'm not gonna like this
[speaker007:] you are given very much more freedom or independence would be a better word, and erm
[Chris:] Shit
[speaker007:] you'd be expected to, to do a lot of work by yourself, and that's reflecting the fact that erm you'll probably have four or five lessons in each of your three subjects, but most people would choose three subjects for A level, and that means that er, when you're not having lessons, you've got a lot of time that is not accountable for, you will have been, or going to a general studies period and stuff like that, but there will be a fair number of private study periods, erm, there are some people I think who, who go overboard, and you've got such a different approach erm from er the lower sixth, people don't use the time that they have, erm, what I'm really saying is that if you go into the sixth form... and you spend less school time in the sixth form you don't need to be prepared
[Chris:] Well what's
[speaker007:] to, to make wise use of your non-teaching time, erm presumably going into a library quite a lot. You would also be expected to for example to prepare for
[Chris:] Eh I'm not going into a library, fuck that
[speaker007:] for certain lessons, I just give you an example with literature it would work with erm science and er other things as well, you might be told in the next lesson we are going to discuss, for example the first act of a particular play, or we're going to discuss which particular scientific experiment or the cause of whatever it is you will be expected to have done some research, done some preparation before coming along to the lesson, if you go along to the lesson not having done that, you will be able to play back certain tips from what the other people say, but you will not er, you will find that anywhere near as if you were prepared, because if you were prepared there are bound to be one or two things that you would want to ask for, own by the standard of interpretation of whatever it is, or a particular word if it's a language and so on, erm and that is something that er I think people erm come across as
[Chris:] Oh yeah, sure
[speaker007:] and the other, the other, the other thing, I don't want to make this sound a lecture or anything like that, but the other thing is that erm erm you have
[Chris:] You can stuff your lecture
[speaker007:] twenty one months in the sixth form, please don't think that everybody has two years, erm and those, those
[Chris:] Oh okay
[speaker007:] short two years may make a big difference at this stage now, erm
[Chris:] [sigh]
[speaker007:] A levels only happen when the most, a month, more from school and then they have study leave as you are, now erm... when you consider the, the year since September has gone very, very quickly, those who have done very little work in that first year, year twelve, will find that been packed in there and that first year in the sixth is just like your year ten ought to have been, perhaps, one or two of you are are realizing
[Chris:] Oh oh
[speaker007:] that you could have done a bit more last year
[Chris:] That's likely
[speaker007:] and it's even more noticeable once you go into the, the year twelve, that first twelve months is crucial, if you just kick your heels and do nothing, you'll find it very very difficult to work to pull up
[Chris:] Is he finished this? Finished this?
[speaker007:] but whichever work you study
[Chris:] Yeah, all of it?
[speaker007:] you know that is the, erm two or three things there, you're working by yourself in your, your personal preparation prepa preparation are crucial parts, erm, if any of the people were thinking of going to erm, erm, a college, erm, the same sort of thing will arise and I suppose the big difference for if you don't have lessons then I think I'm right in saying you don't necessarily have to go in, I don't know whether that still applies, erm, you would be expected of course to erm, erm, to turn up at school here, erm, now there are advantages and disadvantages, you may feel that you prefer, knowing on your own what you're like, you'll prefer erm some fairly rigid rules, erm, because if there weren't rules you might think you'd take advantage of us
[Chris:] You got rules here
[speaker007:] erm, only that sort of rules, probably a big advantage I think of staying in er sixth form is that erm you know the staff, you know the system and it and they know you, erm if you go to
[Chris:] A big problem man
[speaker007:] you will take you a matter of months of course for you to settle in, and those first few months are crucial, again, I maybe just mention this that you are aware of okay so that's...
[Chris:] Okay, let's go... eh? What? was a bit out of order... we have nothing to do with it hmm
[David:] What? It was an accident
[Chris:] hair, leave the hair
[David:] it was an accident [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Cor I bet
[Steven:] You'd been planning it for about
[David:] It just came out [LAUGHTER]...
[Lynne:] In the Telegraph they've got all the things we've been a lot of them
[Chris:] Ye e e ah
[Lynne:] you little capitalist, ow
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] give over
[Chris:] You socialist, get out the house, socialist dog, er, er, er [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] Stop it you, somebody's going to stand up there ow me back
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] go away
[Chris:] Socialist out... crummy, poor, common
[Lynne:] you got, capitalist
[Chris:] common... she boasts if people like me weren't on this world then your share will go up to you should be grateful, but you're not, this is, this er country will be in ruin.
[Lynne:] Shut up, it is in ruin
[Chris:] No, no, it's not that bad though, not as bad as other countries, this is a world recession, not just Britain
[Lynne:] Oh who have you been talking to Mr Major?...
[Chris:] I'm gonna be P M I am, the Conservative party
[Lynne:] No chance have you mate?
[Chris:] I'm gonna be, er
[Lynne:] Don't know, are you good at debating?
[Chris:] Good at lying [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] Oh you're gonna be alright then...
[Chris:] Erm, is my nice white shirt clean?
[Lynne:] Which one?
[Chris:] My one, that one
[Lynne:] They're all clean at the moment, I've washed everything this morning
[Chris:] Going on a pub crawl tonight
[Lynne:] You can't if you've got thing
[Chris:] I haven't got it
[Lynne:] How'd you know?
[Chris:] Cos, cos hasn't got it
[Lynne:] Where you going?
[Chris:] I feel fine
[Lynne:] You didn't say that yesterday, where you going? But don't drink all the milk if you please
[Chris:] There's bloody loads
[Lynne:] Yes, but there won't be by tomorrow morning
[Chris:] The milkman will come tomorrow morning...
[Lynne:] So... why, where you going?
[Chris:] Why, where you going? In the most, most, most disagreeing voice I can put on [LAUGHTER] funny
[Lynne:] It's not funny...
[Chris:] I think it's disgusting don't you?
[Lynne:] turn yourself into a monk
[Chris:] Like Gerrard like Gerrard was [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] I say the same thing to
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Why, why do we going to er a friend's party or something
[Lynne:] Oh dear, you not invited?
[Chris:] Don't be daft, I hate 'em... I wouldn't go if he invited me that's right
[Lynne:] What you want to wear white shirt for you're not going out in your suit?
[Chris:] No I know I'm not
[Lynne:] Oh... oh flipping heck, what's that?
[Chris:] Just me trousers and a white shirt that...
[Lynne:] What's that?... I've already made sandwich, sandwich for lunch
[Chris:] Mm
[Lynne:] what you got?...
[Chris:] there you go I've made half the effort you make the other half
[Lynne:] No I won't make the other half, I've done enough this morning, washing and ironing
[Chris:] Oh yeah, I've done this I've done that, I've done this oh yeah, yeah, yeah, some of us have to go to school to work...
[Lynne:] I have to work the rest of the day and not finish at two o'clock
[Chris:] Yes, yes, yes Oh I'm bored, bored... oh fuck it, I'm bored, bored, bored...
[Lynne:] Aren't you doing your papers?
[Chris:] I am doing them in a minute.
[Lynne:] Be careful, I won't have any settee left...
[Chris:] Oh talk to me
[Lynne:] What do you want to do for the next two weeks?
[Chris:] Oh yeah, should of
[Lynne:] You'd better start
[Chris:] I have started
[Lynne:] what's that?
[Chris:] I have started
[Lynne:] What's that?
[Chris:] Next conversation tape
[Lynne:] Oh
[Chris:] I have started
[Lynne:] Have you?...
[Chris:] What?
[Lynne:] Nothing, just asking have you?
[Chris:] I haven't done much, but I
[Lynne:] Next two weeks is a good idea because you've no school during the day
[Chris:] It's so boring, you just don't take any of it in cos it's so boring.
[Lynne:] Well surely you retain some of it?
[Chris:] You don't honestly
[Lynne:] Jogs your memory
[Chris:] honestly it's really, really I can't believe how boring it is... yes... come on mum talk to me
[Lynne:] No, I don't talk to Conservatives
[Chris:] Don't you?
[Lynne:] No
[Chris:] So it
[Lynne:] Yes, there we are then
[Chris:] They're so low
[Lynne:] Yes
[Chris:] this lower class man...
[Lynne:] Mm
[Chris:] lower
[Lynne:] you little capitalist
[Chris:] That's that
[Lynne:] believe in other people, at other people's expense
[Chris:] Eh?
[Lynne:] Could be at other people's expense
[Chris:] Do I care?
[Lynne:] No you won't care
[Chris:] I know
[Lynne:] all you care about is number one
[Chris:] I know
[Lynne:] Yes I know that Christopher like your dad there, too much like him
[Chris:] How much do you people like, get anywhere
[Lynne:] Yes, but you know that they're liked at the end of it
[Chris:] people like you get nowhere in life
[Lynne:] but you might not be liked at the end of it
[Chris:] Liked?
[Lynne:] Mm
[Chris:] Who by?
[Lynne:] Anybody that you've trampled on along the way
[Chris:] Don't care
[Lynne:] No, but you
[Chris:] if I've trampled on them I wouldn't like them anyway... I can be nice
[Lynne:] Yes, you can sometimes, when it suits ya...
[Chris:] No, just ask Rhiannon if I'm nice
[Lynne:] Rhiannon doesn't know ya, you must be on your best behaviour with her
[Chris:] Rubbish
[Lynne:] Yeah...
[Chris:] What you on about?
[Lynne:] What are you going to buy with your vouchers?
[Chris:] Nothing, it's up to you
[Lynne:] You can get lots of socks and boxer shorts Christopher
[Chris:] You said you'd buy them off me... straight away, you already owe me thirty quid, that's fifty five
[Lynne:] I haven't got it, you didn't give me your money this morning so I didn't bother going to the building society
[Chris:] So you owe me fifty five quid, what's that got to do with it?
[Lynne:] I said, I can't give it to you today though
[Chris:] Why not?
[Lynne:] I just told you why not, I didn't go and get it
[Chris:] Why?
[Lynne:] Cos you didn't give me your money to put in
[Chris:] So why didn't you go... and get some out?
[Lynne:] I was only going to get out what I was gonna give to you to put it, you said you were putting it in
[Chris:] I didn't, I never said I was putting it in, you said that for me
[Lynne:] Oh alright shut up, don't spend, don't save any... you're going to be in a mess in the summer when you want, want lots of money to spend...
[Chris:] Why I'm gonna want some money to spend on?
[Lynne:] Well you're talking about that concert and what are you and Rhiannon going to do for the whole of the summer when you finish in June?
[Chris:] No idea
[Lynne:] No, nothing...
[Chris:] Well we're going on holiday for two weeks, well probably three actually cos we're going with you an'all aren't, do ya know where we'll be going on holiday?
[Lynne:] I don't know I really don't know
[Chris:] Do you think so?
[Lynne:] No, it doesn't seem very positive, I don't know
[Chris:] When, never is, is it?
[Lynne:] No, we'll see I don't know if I want to spend the money this year
[Chris:] Has he bothered last year?
[Lynne:] Oh I suppose he could, we'll see
[Chris:] Will, will, will, will we still go?
[Lynne:] I don't know yet, we'll have to see, if we find anywhere cheap enough
[Chris:] Well do you want to?
[Lynne:] Oh, I mean we wanted to go in May but we can't... we can may apart from the fact it'll be half tricky, we'll be more busy, I don't like it when it's busy
[Chris:] Not at all, in the middle of bloody June there'll be no one there
[Lynne:] It'll be the end of June before you finish, twenty what?
[Chris:] Yeah, end of June yeah, well, no one else is off then
[Lynne:] What, there be no kids off granted, but other countries go, we'll see... start looking round the beginning of June if your dad wants to go, there was, I just noticed this morning coming passed the erm, I think it was the Co-op or the one next door, a week in Ibiza, twenty sixth of April, self catering, a hundred and twenty four pounds, that's the day you go, that's the week you go back to school, you
[Chris:] I don't want to go to Ibiza again
[Lynne:] No, no, but I said the
[Chris:] it's such a touristy place, I don't wanna, I don't wanna go to a touristy
[Lynne:] Everywhere's a touristy place
[Chris:] place.
[Lynne:] Well I can go without you
[Chris:] Not having that, will we still go if dad don't wanna go?
[Lynne:] Oh I don't know I suppose
[Chris:] Please
[Lynne:] Maybe
[Chris:] just me and you
[Lynne:] We'll see
[Chris:] Great
[Lynne:] No
[Chris:] Why?... I don't understand why not... that's not fair then, that's erm, that's taking four people and not giving back, that's ungrateful
[Lynne:] That's right then
[Chris:] Why not?...
[Lynne:] I'll see, no
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] Anyway she's no money
[Chris:] I know, well she couldn't anyway, but I mean why not?
[Lynne:] There's no, it doesn't matter why if she can't
[Chris:] No, go on, I want the reason, she might be able to if her mum and dad pay for her... go on
[Lynne:] I don't know, I'm not taking responsibility for you both
[Chris:] Why?
[Lynne:] don't er, have to share one room perhaps, she might not like it
[Chris:] Share a one room with who?
[Lynne:] All of us, if we got er one room
[Chris:] Oh
[Lynne:] like we did in Ibiza there was only one room
[Chris:] oh a stu a studio
[Lynne:] Mm, some of, a lot of them are like that
[Chris:] Well you don't have to have a studio, you have a choice when you book it
[Lynne:] Yeah, but they're more money aren't they?
[Chris:] No
[Lynne:] That was only meant for three, you couldn't have got four in it
[Chris:] not that bad for four
[Lynne:] Well where would of the other bed have gone?
[Chris:] Stand the other side, move, would of moved those drawers and stuff on there I think
[Lynne:] My God
[Chris:] you know, you don't the apartments for three, you don't travel in threes [sigh]
[Lynne:] Yeah, just couple and one kid...
[Chris:] So she can't?
[Lynne:] No...
[Chris:] That's not fair, is it? No, but, but
[Lynne:] Oh Chris will you please
[Chris:] but you didn't, you won't take
[Lynne:] shut up about it
[Chris:] responsibility for her before she's sixteen, take responsibility for ourselves
[Lynne:] Then you can go on your own
[Chris:] Oh you, you wouldn't let me would you, you would
[Lynne:] Yeah, get yourself a job, get yourself a job
[Chris:] you wouldn't let me go on me own
[Lynne:] If you were paying for it I couldn't stop you now you're sixteen
[Chris:] You'd just give us dirty looks probably wouldn't go
[Lynne:] Mm, go and get yourself a job and go
[Chris:] So you wouldn't mind? You got
[Lynne:] I can't stop you now you're sixteen
[Chris:] you've gotta be eighteen before you... you stop me doing other things
[Lynne:] Such as? Oh don't start that one again, I'm bored with that
[Chris:] Can, can I stay with
[Lynne:] I'll see, but I'm not promising Chris, it also depends what your dad says...
[Chris:] He's never here anyway, it don't matter
[Lynne:] No we've got a separate, spare room
[Chris:] When's dad coming back?
[Lynne:] I don't know yet, I should think it'll be by the end of the month
[Chris:] Why he ask you?
[Lynne:] He hasn't, got to wait for the things to come the, the bed and the car and er they haven't ordered a carpet yet
[Chris:] She, got to wait till they order a carpet?
[Lynne:] Well there's no use moving in till they've got a lounge carpet cos if they go in they'd just have to move everything to get it in
[Chris:] Sodding hell
[Lynne:] they haven't got a bed anyway, we don't know when that's coming
[Chris:] Why?
[Lynne:] They can't sleep on the floor can they?
[Chris:] They can if I can, hmm, er when's the bed going to get there?
[Lynne:] We don't know
[Chris:] Well when, did they order it?
[Lynne:] Mm
[Chris:] From where?
[Lynne:] Oh one of those catalogues
[Chris:] That's a rip off isn't it?
[Lynne:] No they're not, they got a... was it thirty percent discount, first
[Chris:] Five
[Lynne:] time buyer or something
[Chris:] Oh thirty
[Lynne:] I think it was thirty
[Chris:] How much was the bed?
[Lynne:] Oh I think they said they were paying a hundred and ninety nine
[Chris:] Where they get all their money from?
[Lynne:] They're not getting it, it's all on credit
[Chris:] Oh that's bad news innit?
[Lynne:] Not if they can afford to pay it and they don't get too much, it's interest free credit on fridge freezer
[Chris:] Well I know, it's still bad news cos they've got their mortgage and everything
[Lynne:] Well they're both working, they've got a good, good income every month now
[Chris:] How much?
[Lynne:] I dunno, I think they should clear eleven hundred a month between them
[Chris:] No in years
[Lynne:] I don't know how much they're getting
[Chris:] clear eleven what d'ya mean clear?
[Lynne:] Well after you've had your tax and insurance taken off, that's how much they should have between them
[Chris:] What between them, that
[Lynne:] at the end of the month
[Chris:] that's only twelve thousand, thirteen thousand a year, that's crap, that's what Gerrard gets just on his own
[Lynne:] Oh it must be more then I don't know then
[Chris:] it's double that innit? Lesley gets more than Gerrard doesn't she?
[Lynne:] She does now, she's got this new job
[Chris:] Oh, it's about twice that
[Lynne:] what's Gerrard on ten thousand?
[Chris:] More than that, twelve innit?
[Lynne:] Oh I don't think it's
[Chris:] Twelve, thirteen, yeah cos he used to be on ten at the old place and he gets about two thousand more
[Lynne:] Oh was then ten? Oh yeah, well after you've taken tax and insurance back you see, you've lost about three hundred, three fifty
[Chris:] Yeah, under the Conservatives that, if you'd been under Labour you would of lost about four hundred... didn't think of that though did you, didn't think your own son
[Lynne:] But they, the Conservatives are cutting down on the health service and everything else and the schools
[Chris:] So?
[Lynne:] What are we going to do when there's no, no health service? They're going to get rid of it you know eventually
[Chris:] No
[Lynne:] They are
[Chris:] No they're, they'll still be
[Lynne:] that's the way it's going
[Chris:] they'll still be a health service, but peo
[Lynne:] No
[Chris:] but people who can afford to pay for it will be, will be made to at the time
[Lynne:] Well that just
[Chris:] which I think is right, if you can afford to pay for it then you should be made, made to
[Lynne:] But where do they draw the line at those who can afford to pay for it?
[Chris:] I don't know, that's up to them
[Lynne:] No so I draw the pay, a set amount each month and have peace of mind thank you very much
[Chris:] Aargh
[Lynne:] even if I've never had to use it much
[Chris:] Never even paid national insurance in your life have you mum?
[Lynne:] Your dad pays his share for me, comes out of his wages... if I paid, it's just extra on top of all that, if I was paying any
[Chris:] Well that, oh, it's no point in arguing
[Lynne:] Why? You ask me so I told ya... no point in arguing, you won't make a very good politician, shut up, sod off
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Don't use that language
[Lynne:] I can't win this argument so shut up
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] I shall bloody win
[Lynne:] Pardon?
[Chris:] I shall bloody win
[Lynne:] That's enough
[Chris:] Why shouldn't, why shouldn't we be made to pay for a health service?
[Lynne:] Because it's, it's a service for everyone, as long as everybody gets the same
[Chris:] The only good thing, the only good thing about La the only good thing about Labour is that they would have brought back student grants so if I ever, if I ever do go to university then I'll get lots of money.
[Lynne:] And if Labour'd got in they'd of er, your dad said he'd er probably got a rise
[Chris:] Would he?...
[Lynne:] Mm, I think he
[Chris:] Rubbish how much?
[Lynne:] Don't know, Labour'd be more... give more to the public sector don't they than the Conservatives?
[Chris:] Why he got a rise by the
[Lynne:] He might of done he said, he probably would of done in the la the unions would of put in a big one for... Mr Major wouldn't give one, still wouldn't have affected
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] do you care? Aha, do you want him to have more money?...
[Lynne:] Half his share
[Chris:] So...
[Lynne:] it, it what did he say?
[Chris:] More for him to lose
[Lynne:] did he say B T had gone up twenty P this morning?
[Chris:] this morning
[Lynne:] I think he said twenty P
[Chris:] When'd he tell you that?
[Lynne:] overnight, he came home at lunchtime
[Chris:] They went up ten overnight to about, to about
[Lynne:] Oh they've gone er
[Chris:] to about what I paid for them
[Lynne:] Well I think he said they've gone up twenty when he came home... I'm not sure
[Chris:] Yeah it has, see
[Lynne:] How many have you got, three hundred?
[Chris:] Three hundred and eighty
[Lynne:] Did he say I pay twenty pounds? So that's twenty P int it in a hundred?
[Chris:] What?
[Lynne:] He said I've made twenty pounds overnight... so that's, yeah they've gone up twenty P each cos I've got a hundred
[Chris:] Make sense I suppose
[Lynne:] so you've made sixty pounds overnight
[Chris:] No I've made eighty, nearly eighty
[Lynne:] You had three hundred
[Chris:] Three hundred and eighty I just said
[Lynne:] Oh sorry
[Chris:] We're on tape number eight
[Lynne:] My goodness
[Chris:] What?
[Lynne:] you've done some to get all that
[Chris:] it's got
[Lynne:] It's got 'em
[Chris:] it's got a load of rubbish on five, six and seven, there's perhaps nothing on it, I've just left it running [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] ah Chris, it doesn't matter as long as I get, I just this is [LAUGHTER] there's nothing on those tapes by the way [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Well she said she didn't expect you to use all of 'em didn't she?...
[Lynne:] Hello commoner, can we, can we interview with a
[Chris:] Yes
[Lynne:] common, common
[Chris:] Don't
[Lynne:] socialist?
[Chris:] No.
[Lynne:] No?
[Chris:] No, you're so embarrassed about your socialist ideas, you, you don't, you don't them, feel people knowing that socialist
[Lynne:] Oh look at that
[Chris:] socialist person, what?
[Lynne:] it tipped over
[Chris:] Er, you should always put meat, meat and things, things that are gonna drip at the bottom, never ever put
[Lynne:] That's not meat
[Chris:] never, never ever put meat at the top
[Lynne:] I know you don't, they go on there
[Chris:] Are you sure? Cos you get the sort of thing like things are dripping off and if you've got germs in them and you've had a bad
[Lynne:] Well this fridge is either full or it's empty, there's no half measures ever, it's never just right
[Chris:] No, it's either empty or full of crap so in other words it's empty for me, all the time
[Lynne:] Yes, well, you put in what you want... oh shit
[Chris:] Oh sugar... you tell it mum, you tell it love
[Lynne:] Nobody else will
[Chris:] No sad innit?
[Lynne:] Tea's in there
[Chris:] Yes...
[Lynne:] No
[Chris:] Why? What?
[Lynne:] You want?
[Chris:] Yeah, but apart from that I don't touch it...
[Lynne:] No
[Chris:] Why not?
[Lynne:] You take all my money just talking
[Chris:] Shut up
[Lynne:] Shut up
[Chris:] Can I?
[Lynne:] No
[Chris:] Why?...
[Lynne:] I don't fancy it that's all
[Chris:] What?
[Lynne:] You're just into ego trips, make himself
[Chris:] What?
[Lynne:] I'm not playing your game, stop saying what
[Chris:] Well am I a good son?
[Lynne:] No.
[Chris:] Why not?
[Lynne:] Yes I suppose so
[Chris:] Why?
[Lynne:] what's a bad one anyway?
[Chris:] I dunno what's a good one? I mean
[Lynne:] No
[Chris:] am I perfect?
[Lynne:] you are not
[Chris:] No I think
[Lynne:] Christopher give over
[Chris:] think, think you are too mum, you, you could have a son who is taking drugs, who was doing all sorts of in crime and joyriding
[Lynne:] Mm, mm
[Chris:] but no
[Lynne:] Mo I've got you, Conservative
[Chris:] Yeah, miles better, for the good of the country they're not good for you, women shouldn't have the vote you know [LAUGHTER] women shouldn't get the vote, I think they should bring back, bring back just men having vote, women don't get a say as far as I'm concerned that's a good idea don't you think? [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] Oh we go to our place for, now women stage for
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] stage, that's my, that's my whole life [LAUGHTER] it's my whole [] I've had that erm, have my views, so why do you think I should vote Labour?
[Lynne:] Er
[Chris:] Come on why?
[Lynne:] because they'll put more into education and schools
[Chris:] Yeah and it'll take a
[Lynne:] and the health service
[Chris:] Yeah, but they haven't got enough money
[Lynne:] Take it off the rich
[Chris:] they haven't got enough money to do that.
[Lynne:] well take it off the rich.
[Chris:] They have not, they have not got enough
[Lynne:] Well they will do
[Chris:] they haven't, did you not read the article in the er Telegraph? They said, they said
[Lynne:] Yeah, I'm sorry I don't need
[Chris:] the actual, actually nine point four billion pounds behind
[Lynne:] Short
[Chris:] short
[Lynne:] Mm
[Chris:] yes because they, they fo forgot to take out the money which they could have, which erm, which would of come from privatization, which they had no intention of doing so they took that out. Are you not for privatization?...
[Lynne:] Er ye yes, if it gives a better service at the end of the day
[Chris:] So you think it's better?
[Lynne:] Yeah
[Chris:] Well why don't Labour then?
[Lynne:] I just said because of the health service and schools
[Chris:] Well the health service could be privatized
[Lynne:] and they're more likely to give more money to us
[Chris:] and why shouldn't the health service be privatized?
[Lynne:] Because some people need a lot more treatment than others and it's something you cannot, you cannot forecast
[Chris:] I know but the actual, the actual peo the actual people that have to pay for us, such it could be more that erm, the government would actually pay for it and then hospitals would erm fight for the, for the actual er thing
[Lynne:] Yes, but what if they don't?
[Chris:] What if they don't want?
[Lynne:] If they just make it totally private where everybody has to pay
[Chris:] I don't know they'd never do that, they'd never do that
[Lynne:] those poor unfortunate people, I don't know would they not?
[Chris:] No
[Lynne:] That's a right step in the right direction, no
[Chris:] Do you not think British Rail would have, have
[Lynne:] I've no idea, I'm sure it will now
[Chris:] You do care
[Lynne:] [LAUGHTER] no I don't care, why should I care []?
[Chris:] Don't know
[Lynne:] Won't make any difference to my life... these are cold...
[Chris:] Why not, why didn't you vote Liberal Democrat?
[Lynne:] Because I don't think they had a chance of getting in to vote
[Chris:] What getting into our seat?
[Lynne:] No, well, and to the country as a whole
[Chris:] What does it matter about the country, the seat is what's important
[Lynne:] Well yes
[Chris:] did you actually find out about the figures for the seat?
[Lynne:] No I didn't
[Chris:] If you found out
[Lynne:] but they come second
[Chris:] if you found out then you might have found out that they weren't very far behind, so they could of caught up and they could of gained a seat and they could of gained a say in the government
[Lynne:] Mm, mm
[Chris:] so it's not wasted at all
[Lynne:] No
[Chris:] is it?
[Lynne:] No
[Chris:] Pathetic, pathetic
[Lynne:] You asked
[Chris:] it's, you just, you just don't believe and they went back up
[Lynne:] I'm the same as everybody else who's got views
[Chris:] a Labour person
[Lynne:] What's the difference?
[Chris:] a Labour person will never actually buy shares truly wouldn't
[Lynne:] Well I wouldn't, it's you and your dad who've bought the shares, I wouldn't
[Chris:] You did
[Lynne:] I put, yes only because your dad wanted some yes, I wouldn't dream of it otherwise, I'd stick my money in the building society
[Chris:] Why not?
[Lynne:] you just to save, we have a
[Chris:] You make a lot more money though
[Lynne:] I haven't made it so far, look at me, I'm living in luxury I am, I've got lots of money to spend
[Chris:] Compared to other people maybe, yes mum... you're not grateful for what you've got
[Lynne:] I haven't got much of anything yet
[Chris:] Compared to a lot of other people you've got a lot more
[Lynne:] Yeah, well compared to a lot more I've got a lot less...
[Chris:] Yeah, well you don't look at it like that
[Lynne:] Yeah, well that's the way you look at it
[Chris:] you, you
[Lynne:] you're always going on about what you want
[Chris:] you, you want to be the best and no one
[Lynne:] I don't want to be the best, I just want a reasonable amount
[Chris:] You've got a reasonable amount haven't ya?
[Lynne:] I haven't, it depends what you, what way you look at it
[Chris:] You, nah, you've always got enough for what you want ain't ya?
[Lynne:] No, have I heck, I haven't got enough money for a, really good clothes and shoes that I'd like
[Chris:] Why d'ya want really good clothes?
[Lynne:] Why not?
[Chris:] Eh?
[Lynne:] Why not?
[Chris:] Make you look good, look good
[Lynne:] Why shouldn't I have decent clothes and shoes?
[Chris:] really good clothes, what do you mean by really good clothes?
[Lynne:] Expensive well reasonably expensive
[Chris:] Talking about clothes from Next for women
[Lynne:] No I wouldn't go there
[Chris:] Why not?
[Lynne:] Marks and Spencers' ll do me
[Chris:] Oh my God
[Lynne:] instead of once every three months
[Chris:] well you can have it
[Lynne:] I could have something every week...
[Chris:] you want something every week from Marks and Spencers, that is so sad, I
[Lynne:] Oh
[Chris:] wouldn't go in Marks and Spencers if you'd pay me
[Lynne:] You have to, you're getting some vouchers tonight
[Chris:] Well last time you got some vouchers right you
[Lynne:] I can't buy myself anything, I've still got to pay for them
[Chris:] But you'll be able to buy yourself something still
[Lynne:] Mm, but there's nothing I want now
[Chris:] Mm, I'm sure you'll find something in Marks and Spencers, I have heard about a new trick mum, how to con money out of Marks and Spencers
[Lynne:] Yeah?
[Chris:] right, you go upstairs, pick up the most expensive article they've got and then you go downstairs to the customer relations department and say I bought this article yesterday and say, and, and I'm afraid
[Lynne:] But you haven't got a receipt though
[Chris:] I'm afraid it doesn't fit... unfortunately I've lost the receipt but will you still change it? And they say yes we will, our business teach teacher told us about that you see because it's been happening a lot, cos Marks and Spencers don't ask for a receipt you see, it actually happened, they used to take things from upstairs, bring them downstairs and said they bought it and got the money for it. [LAUGHTER]
[Lynne:] That's terrible
[Chris:] Clever [LAUGHTER]... still... I can earn it
[Lynne:] No you don't
[Chris:] Yeah I know but Marks and Spencers are a crap shop I don't care if they go out of business... they're a rip off anyway, they're so expensive, such crap clothes, they're so common, that's the word I've been looking for common, that's my word of the week I think [LAUGHTER] er common [] common, [LAUGHTER] does it not get to ya looking like everyone else?
[Lynne:] I don't look like everyone else.
[Chris:] If you, if you wear Marks and Spencers clothes you'd look like everyone else
[Lynne:] No I wouldn't first perhaps
[Chris:] you look like millions of other people
[Lynne:] I would like more money for a few more things though
[Chris:] you got five hundred quid bonus, why don't you spend that?
[Lynne:] Because you, you've just been going on about going abroad
[Chris:] Er, ee
[Lynne:] that's why
[Chris:] are we gonna go?
[Lynne:] Oh Chris don't start that again, I don't know yet
[Chris:] Out, how much money have you got in the building society?
[Lynne:] What's it got to do with you?
[Chris:] Go on how much?
[Lynne:] Eight hundred
[Chris:] Mm... is that you've saved up this year?
[Lynne:] Yes
[Chris:] Saved it well haven't you?
[Lynne:] Yes, so say
[Chris:] I've only got six hundred and fifty, will you give me some?
[Lynne:] No I won't
[Chris:] [yawning] Oh I'm skint []
[Lynne:] That's your problem
[Chris:] Don't you think I'm skint?
[Lynne:] I will be skint if I give you all my money
[Chris:] Yeah, you'll feel better for it though
[Lynne:] No I wouldn't
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Tt you'll get
[Lynne:] Yeah
[Chris:] Eh?
[Lynne:] Yeah
[Chris:] Why?
[Lynne:] You're annoying me now
[Chris:] Why?
[Lynne:] You're just being so
[Chris:] So, does that annoy you then?
[Lynne:] Oh I'm freezing cold
[Chris:] Can't you
[Lynne:] Christopher I don't know and quite honestly I don't care at the moment
[Chris:] You always bite me head off when I ask some sensitive questions
[Lynne:] I've got too many other things...
[Chris:] Why don't we go next week?...
[Lynne:] Too late now
[Chris:] No it's not
[Lynne:] No
[Chris:] you've got a week
[Lynne:] it won't be as warm as it is in the April...
[Chris:] Well perhaps if we will, we weren't to, if we went next week, we'd have two weeks earlier than last year won't we? Or three
[Lynne:] Three I think
[Chris:] Three weeks, yeah we'll go somewhere like that Greece or... you know if you ask me... er I know loads of people in this
[Lynne:] I know, where did they stay?
[Chris:] They went to Tenerife
[Lynne:] Oh I think that's, when you, when I've seen the things on the telly you know showing these traveller things, it does look a prettier island, it does look quite a lo a bit, nicer island... the scenery and
[Chris:] Tenerife and Lanzarote are no good then?
[Lynne:] Do they have good beach
[Chris:] [reading] Where there is a pavement or foot path used, do not walk next to the curb with your back from the traffic, look both ways before you step into the road... where there is no foot path, walk on the right hand side of the road, it is safer to walk on the side facing on coming traffic, keep as close as possible to the side of the road, take care at right hand bends, keep one behind if that is possible, particularly line heavy traffic on flurry, do not allow children under age five at least out alone on the road, go with them, walk between them and the traffic and always keep tight hold of their hands, if you can't do this then use reigns as security, secure them firmly into the pushchair, do not let them run into the road, always wear or carry something bright or light or reflected within the dark of light, this is especially important, that all uses it [] it's just the rules I suppose
[David:] That's how man
[Chris:] crossing the road, I don't need, you won't get asked that one will ya?
[David:] well ya, well ya might, but you, you
[Chris:] just
[David:] you know it anyway, it's just common sense that, I mean you know how to cross the road now, don't ya?, look one way and that
[Chris:] [reading] the road you, use it on wheels []
[David:] that's er bike is it, that's bike on wheels, is it in car?
[Chris:] don't say [reading] keep your vehicle in good condition, pay particular attention to lights, brakes, steering, tyres, including spare seat belts
[David:] great
[Chris:] demisters,di demisters, windscreen wipers and washers, keep windscreens, windows, lights, direction heaters, reflectors and mirrors and number plates clean and clear, do not drive with the defect upon suitable exhaust system, if L plates have been fitted, remove or covering, when the vehicle is not being used with the driving instruction or practice. You must ensure that any loads carried or towed or secured and do check and see, do not overload your vehicle or trailer, when on a motor cycle, scooter or moped you must wear a safety helmet or designed which maybe fastened securely, you also must wear sturdy boots and gloves, tell other seen, wear something bright coloured or bright, reflect the material, open the door, brighten materials help in daylight as do and sheen. Over a hundred and fifty C C to two hundred and do not drive
[David:] that's motorbikes
[Chris:] if you feel tired or unwell, fatigue can cause serious accidents, never drive if you're under the influence of drugs or medicines, it can seriously affect your driving ability, always ask your doctor whether it is safe for you to drive when taking prescribed medicines. If you need spectacles to meet the official eye sight standard, wear them, it is an offence to drive with uncorrected defective vision....... Do not use tinted or optical equipment of any kind, sun glasses
[David:] some case
[Chris:] night driving spectacles
[David:] have they
[Chris:] sky goggles or tinted helmet visors at night or in conditions of []
[David:] it's bleeding bikes
[Chris:] car as well it'll be
[David:] it's, but er now but, but that's bikes that
[Chris:] [reading] Tinted glasses do not help your vision, do not use spray on or
[David:] aye, the wind does
[Chris:] or windscreens []
[David:] are you gonna get me the, the stuff that you need to know Sharon?
[Chris:] [reading] alcohol and road user []
[David:] don't need any more of that, you know not to drink and drive... you wanna learn your roundabouts, junctions and that and get how to give way and...
[Chris:] well we just do this, people get asked this [reading] drive as responsible and driving that children under fourteen are sitting
[David:] sit down
[Chris:] when they are travelling, in the front a child, now one year, must use an approved child restrain design for age and weight, a child over one may wear any approved child restraint on adult seat belt, in the rear a child must be restrained and the appropriate restrain is fitted, the the term appropriate restrain includes the following; infants under one year old, a carry or cot which is held by straps, children one, two or three years in appropriate child seat or harness or booster cushion with an adult belt, not a household cushion. Children from four to fourteen year old an appropriate child seat or harness. In the rear an adult may be restrained in preference to the child, however an adult must not deny a child the use. Do not carry children in the middle of space by the rear seats of an estate car or a hatch back unless the manufacturer has provide the seat for this purpose. Signs, know your traffic signs, right, signals, give signal, give signals if they would help or warn other road users... watch out for the signals of other drivers and motor cyclists or pedal cyclists and take necessary action from them. You must obey the signals given by a police officer [] way... no way, see them man.... [reading] Moving off, before moving off always use your mirrors, but look round as well for a final check, signal as necessary before moving out, move off only when you can do so safely without making the road user change speed or direction [] right
[David:] you gonna ask us some questions?
[Chris:] I'm gonna in a minute [reading] driving along... what must you do when you're driving along? []...
[David:] take care
[Chris:] what else?...
[David:] I don't get what you mean anyway
[Chris:] well when you're driving along give us some of the things what you do, tell us something that you do... when you're driving along
[David:] keep an eye on traffic ahead
[Chris:] use your mirrors often, that you know what is behind you and that each sign is what you said
[David:] erm... check all your speed limits...
[Chris:] [reading] driving along, keep to the left except when road signals or markings indicate otherwise or when you intend to overtake, or turn right, or when you have to pass stationery vehicles or pedestrians in the road, allow others to overtake you if they want you, you must not drive on by the side of the road. Use your mirrors, on narrow or winding roads or where there is a lot of oncoming traffic, drivers of large or slow moving vehicles should be prepared to pull in and slow down to stop as soon as there is suitable opportunity, well, before you take off or turn left or turn right, or slow down or stop, use your mirrors, you should always look behind even if they're none, a motor cycle should always look behind either, then give the appropriate signal if necessary [], remember the routine
[David:] yes
[Chris:] what?
[David:] reverse, signal and manoeuvre...
[Chris:] [reading] always keep a special look out for cyclists particularly when overtaking or turning, bearing in mind that two wheels are much less easy to see than large vehicles.... Driving for long distances may make you sleepy, to help prevent this make sure there is plenty of fresh air in your vehicle, if you become tired on the journey, stop and rest at a suitable parking place [], right.... [reading] You must obey the speed limits for the road and for your vehicle, remember the, except the motorways there is a thirty mile per hour speed limit on all roads, where there are streets unless sign show otherwise. Bear in mind that any speed limit is a maximum, it does not mean that it is safe to drive at that speed, always take into account all the conditions at the time, never drive so fast that you cannot stop well within the distance you can see to be clear. Go much more slowly if the road is wet or icy or first drive more slowly at night, remember it can be especially difficult to see pedestrians or cyclists at night and in poor daylight conditions, do not break, sharply, except in an emergency.... Leave enough space between you and the vehicle in front so that you can pull up safely if it slows down or stops suddenly, the safe rule is never to get closer than the overall stopping distance shown below, but on the open road in good conditions leave a gap of one metre for each mile an hour of your speed or a two second time gap may be enough, they will also leave space for an overtaking vehicle pulling or wet or icy or the gap should be at least double that, drop back if you know that taking vehicle closing gap in front of you... make way for ambulance, fire engines, police or van emergency vehicles when their blue lamps are flashing or their bells, two tone cones or sirens or. In towns, give way to buses indicating, an intention to move out from the bus stops, if you can do so safely. Use of microphones and car telephones []
[David:] They won't use
[Chris:] [reading] Do not use a hand held microphone or telephone when vehicles moving except in emergencies, you should only stick your fix or clip on microphone where it will not distract your attention from road, do not stop on a hard shoul shoulder of a motorway to answer or make a call however urgent. Driving in fog; when driving in fog check your []...
[David:] eh?, check your what? your lights
[Chris:] you see you to do if you're not listening
[David:] check your lights?
[Chris:] no, I didn't say that
[David:] in the, in the fog, what you do?
[Chris:] what you do... [reading] when driving in fog check your []
[David:] speed, yes
[Chris:] [reading] and slow down, keep a safe distance, you should always be able to pull up within your range of vision [], what else don't you do, what don't you do in fog?
[David:] overtake
[Chris:] [reading] hang on to somebody elses tail lights, it gives us a false sense of security... watch your speed, you may be going much faster than you think, do not speed up to get away from the vehicle which is too close behind you, remember that if you're driving with heavy people it may take longer to pull up and speed on ahead, warning signals or...
[David:] [clears throat]
[Chris:] check and clean your wind screens, lights, reflectors and windows... remember that fog can give is often patchy
[David:] [cough]
[Chris:] even though when it is clearing []
[David:] Sharon I only wanna learn this bit by bit, you know, not the whole book...
[Chris:] [reading] a pelican crossing has the signals have the same meaning as traffic lights except that the flashing amber signal will follow the red stop signal, when amber light is flashing you must give []
[David:] I [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] what you do when amber light flashing? after the stop
[David:] stop stop at the line stop behind the line
[Chris:] you must give way to any pedestrians on the crossing, so, otherwise you may proceed... [reading] a straight pelican is one crossing even when there is a central refuge and you must wait for people crossing from the further side of the refuge, don't harass the pedestrians for instance by revving your engine. When turning into a road junction, give way to []... what's a road junction?
[David:] like a coming out
[Chris:] oh, give way to
[David:] traffic coming out
[Chris:] pedestrians who are crossing the road in which you are turning... [reading] when entering or emerging from property bordering on a road, give way to pedestrians as well as the traffic on the road, remember pavements are for people, not for motor cycles... motor vehicles []
[David:] is it here?
[Chris:] I don't take. [reading] Lines and lanes along the road.... [sigh] A single broken line with long markings and short gaps in the middle of the road is the []...
[David:] what lines?
[Chris:] [reading] single broken lines with long markings and short gaps with the middle, in the middle of the road is the... hazard warning lines, do not cross it unless you can see that the road well ahead is clear.... Where there are double white lines along the
[David:] give way
[Chris:] road and the line nearer to you is solid, you must not cross or straddle it, except when you need to get in and out of the premises on side road. Where there are double white lines along the road and the line nearer to you is broken, you may cross the lines to overtake if you.... Overtaking, give us some, do not overtake unless you can... do so without...
[David:] slow motors down or causes I was just gonna say
[Chris:] before you start overtaking make sure the road is clear, use your mirror, signal before you move out
[David:] signal, then move out
[Chris:] be careful in the dusk, remember mirror, signal, manoeuvre [LAUGHTER] once you start to overtake move quickly passed the vehicle you are overtaking, when overtake er, overtake only on the right except when the driver in the front has signalled that he intends to turn right, you can overtake him on the left, without getting in the way, when you want to turn left at a junction, when traffic is moving slowly in queues and be er, in a lane on the right and moving more slowly than you are, in one way streets, but not dual carriageways, maybe with a path on either side, when traffic is moving as described, do not increase your speed while being overtaken, slow down if necessary to let the overtaking vehicle pass. On the tail, lane road, give way to vehicles coming towards you... you must not overtake if you would have to cross or straddle double white lines with a solid line on the out of you, erm if you're within a zig zag area, the pelican crossing, after a normal overtaking sign until the end of the restriction, do not overtake when you cannot see far enough ahead, for example, when coming through []
[David:] bend
[Chris:] [reading] a corner or bend []
[David:] single traffic, single line traffic
[Chris:] [reading] hump back bridge... or the brow of the hill, or where you might come into conflict with the car, with other road users for example at []
[David:] junctions
[Chris:] [reading] the road junction []
[David:] roundabout
[Chris:] don't say that... [reading] a level crossing or where the road narrows, on approached any type of pedestrian crossing or where it would involve driving over an area marked with diagonal stripes to or che chevrons, do not overtake when you do so would force another vehicle to swerve or slow down, if in doubt do not overtake []... so where'd you not overtake?
[David:] on a corner
[Chris:] or
[David:] hump backed bridge
[Chris:] mm
[David:] round a bend, junction
[Chris:] yeah,
[speaker007:] ...
[Chris:] [reading] at a level cross, at a level crossing or where the road bends, or approach to any pedestrian crossing. Road junctions. Approach road junctions with great care, consider your road position and your speed, drive on only when you are sure it is safe to do so and that you will not block the junction, watch out for long vehicles which maybe turning left or right, at the junction ahead, but which may have to use to make a turn, when waiting to emerge at a junction, do not assume that a vehicle approaching from the right which is signalling with it's left hand direction indicator would turn left, wait to make sure [] do you know what I mean? that, if you leave and that car comes and signals left, it means that you've got to wait for it to go in, in case it doesn't you know what I mean. [reading] At a junction with double broken white lines across the road it may also have the give way sign on invert inverted triangle on the carriageway, you must be ready to let traffic on the major road go first. At junctions with a stop sign and a solid white line across your approach, you must stop at the line, wait for a safe gap in the traffic before you move. When crossing the dual carriageway or turning right into the road, treat each half as a separate road, wait
[David:] do you know what it means by that?
[Chris:] in the cen central driving, dividing strip []
[David:] do you know what that means
[Chris:] until there is a safe gap
[David:] do you know what
[Chris:] it means you come to turn right on road, and each
[David:] it's er
[Chris:] lanes a separate road doesn't it?
[David:] you know when you come, you know when you and nanny drop us off at ours
[Chris:] aha
[David:] and there's a slip road you've gotta come on to, there's a slip road you go down ain't there?
[Chris:] aha
[David:] you slowly make your way out, don't got by, you look over your right shoulder
[Chris:] aha
[David:] that's erm, that's a slip road what you, and then, your next lane you stay in that lane, only use a right and then if you want to overtake you go into right and then back into right
[Chris:] oh
[David:] I mean never stay in the right hand lane
[Chris:] why?
[David:] because you overtake is speeding there, the left hand lane isn't, the right hand lane is for overtaking
[Chris:] what happens at our speed?
[David:] well you stick on the right hand lane when no one overtaking... that's not causing trouble for us is it?...
[Chris:] [reading] Where a junction has a mini roundabout, it will have a sign placed before the give way. Boxed junctions have criss cross yellow lines painted on the road.... You must not enter the box []
[David:] you stay behind it
[Chris:] [reading] if your exit road or lane from, from is not clear, but you may enter the box when you want to turn right and are prevented from doing so. Junctions controlled by police or a traffic warden, when all traffic is held up by police officer or traffic warden you must not go left or right until you are signalled to do so. Junctions controlled by traffic lights... do not go forward when the traffic lights are green unless there is room for you to clear the junction safely, never go forward when the red, amber lights are shown together, when traffic lights have a green arrow filter signal, do not get into the lane when filtering is allowed unless you.... Well, before you turn right use your mirror to make sure you know the position on movement of the traffic behind you. When it is safe, give a right turn signal and as soon as you can do so take safely, take up position just left of the middle of the road or in the space marked by right turned vehicles, if you can leave room for other vehicles to pass on the left, wait until there is a safe gap between you and any oncoming vehicle, looking, look out of sight for motor cyclists and pedestrians, then make a turn, but do not cut the corner as people like pedestrians crossing the road in which you are turning. Remember mirror, signal, manoeuvre. When approaching a roundabout []... I'm not testing you any more
[David:] I was laughing at her, that fake thing she's got on it
[Chris:] I'm not testing you any more
[David:] I'll test you then...
[Chris:] What's the...
[David:] you know carriage a single carriage way?
[Chris:] mm
[David:] now a... a dual carriage way that has three lanes, what lane do you use?
[Chris:] the left...
[David:] right, what one you use for overtaking?
[Chris:] mm?
[David:] what one you use for overtaking?
[Chris:] right
[David:] middle lane
[Chris:] all three lanes is the taught now, middle
[David:] middle lane, you never stay in it either
[Chris:] so what's the last
[David:] it's just
[Chris:] one for?
[David:] turn right
[Chris:] turn, aye
[David:] see the one like, you know, on the opposite side of the road, you've got as much right to use that as he has...
[Chris:] right...
[David:] on a single carriageway where a road has four, four lanes, do not use
[Chris:] on a single carriageway where a lane has got four lanes
[David:] yeah, if a single carriageway or has four more lanes, do not use the right hand path, you use that one and that one, but don't use them two
[Chris:] why?... er, if plain English that right in it?...
[David:] it's the same, same as er three way one
[Chris:] so you've gotto take on fast moving traffic or turn right?... right are we asking some more questions?, I don't know that much really, I don't know...
[David:] right
[Chris:] I
[David:] I'm gonna ask you some stopping distances
[Chris:] I don't know them
[David:] well you're gonna learn them, cos you've got, they, they ask you straight away that...... a built up area
[Chris:] mm?
[David:] what's the speed limit for a built up area?
[Chris:] thirty
[David:] single carriage ways?
[Chris:] fifty
[David:] and by the way it's not seventy the coast road
[Chris:] mm?
[David:] who said it was seventy up the coast road?
[Chris:] dunno
[David:] was it you or Don?
[Chris:] I don't know
[David:] well he says it's the national speed limit, seventy
[Chris:] with the black line it is
[David:] aye
[Chris:] that's what
[David:] it'll have a speed li, your national speed limit will be sixty
[Chris:] but you don't do it
[David:] it's a single, it's a two, it's only a single lane traffic car
[Chris:] what?
[David:] you know when you say, when... you are, I'm positive it was you and your cos er he turned round and he says er, oh yeah
[Chris:] no the
[David:] it's seventy
[Chris:] that's what mile do you do on it?, like some people might think the national speed limit, but it's not that's fifty or sixty
[David:] national speed limit on the tunnel it's a dual carriage way, it's two lane
[Chris:] it's got fifty
[David:] it's a seventy
[Chris:] is it seventy?
[David:] it's seventy like it's a dual carriageway
[Chris:] well it tells you and if it's any less than seventy
[David:] no, I'm sure one of you says it was seventy for the coast road, it's only a two way traffic it's a two way traffic, a single lane traffic so it's classed as sixty
[Chris:] but it tells you on the thing, it, a white thing with a line through it
[David:] right
[Chris:] means seventy though Darren
[David:] motorways
[Chris:] doesn't it?, eh?, well that's got one of them on
[David:] well it shouldn't have, it should have sixty on it, it's only single carriageway
[Chris:] it's got er, it's got one of them white things with a black line on it I'm sure
[David:] the national speed limit, aye
[Chris:] seventy
[David:] you've got two, that's not your, you've got two national speed limits, you've got a sixty and a seventy, seventy is for like a dual carriageway and a motorway, sixty is a single carriageway cos it's only two way traffic
[Chris:] so white line with a black thing through could be just sixty
[David:] it could be sixty, if you're on a... if you're on a two way traffic right
[Chris:] mot what's on a motorway?
[David:] if you're on a motorway at seventy
[Chris:] or a dual carriageway
[David:] if you're on, if you're on a motorway or a carriageway, right
[Chris:] it's seventy
[David:] it's seventy
[Chris:] unless stated otherwise
[David:] right
[Chris:] mm
[David:] now if you go along the coast road and it's, you look at the lamp post right they have a little white circle with a black line in it
[Chris:] aha
[David:] you must look at your lanes, you've only got like two lanes haven't ya?
[Chris:] aha
[David:] coming down and going about sixty, shows you there, single carriageways sixty
[Chris:] oh
[David:] dual carriageway is er double that
[Chris:] yeah
[David:] you always stay to your left, only use the right lane to overtake or turn to right
[Chris:] you asking me?
[David:] I ask you, right a single carriageway, what's your speed for that?
[Chris:] see seventy on the crossroad
[David:] well you, you would of got done
[Chris:] , no, mind, some of them do when when
[David:] I know that's why you would of got done if the police had stopped
[Chris:] stopping what?
[David:] what's a single, single carriageway?
[Chris:] thirty, sixty
[David:] dual carriageway
[Chris:] seventy
[David:] motorway?
[Chris:] seventy...
[David:] right, I wanna ask you some signs before, before you go onto the... your speed limits, I wanna know like when I do, you know when you've done your speed limits and you stop
[Chris:] aha
[David:] I want your thinking distance, your stopping distance and your overall, right
[Chris:] aha
[David:] even if you get them wrong, I'll put them right, it's the only way you'll learn...
[Lynne:] Hi ya
[Chris:] hi ya
[David:] hi
[Lynne:] hi ya
[Chris:] hi ya
[Lynne:] hi ya...
[Rhiannon:] Ee what's Darren doing down
[Chris:] I know he's dressed an all
[Lynne:] oh dressed er, ooh, hello there
[David:] right... circle right
[Chris:] aha
[David:] with forty in the middle
[Chris:] forty mile an hour
[David:] that's the maximum speed you can do
[Chris:] oh aye...
[David:] white circle with a black line, diagonal
[Chris:] national speed limit
[David:] yeah... like a fifty pence piece one right
[Chris:] aha hexagon
[David:] with a stop
[Chris:] stop, under
[Rhiannon:] where's John gone?
[Chris:] he's out
[Rhiannon:] where?
[David:] a triangle
[Chris:] travel the night now
[Rhiannon:] he what?
[Chris:] travel in night
[Rhiannon:] what do you mean?
[Chris:] he's gone
[David:] getting a Sierra
[Chris:] to far away pubs and that
[Rhiannon:] what he's still in the pubs? I know Sharon told us
[David:] he'll
[Chris:] you know him and Jimmy's new travelling night
[David:] I mean
[Chris:] i next door I think Jimmy's turn
[David:] it's worse than that in it?
[Chris:] they've got
[David:] eight hundred Tommy eight hundred they've gone
[Lynne:] they gone where?, to Peacock
[Chris:] it's for the first three
[David:] they had to save
[Lynne:] they've gotta beat what?
[Rhiannon:] oh
[Chris:] will Pam pay weekly do you think?
[David:] I'm gonna pay it up in one Tommy, I'm getting a six, I'm getting a six weeks on a B reg
[Lynne:] mm
[David:] have a full years test on it
[Lynne:] mm
[David:] full years tax it'll have all the
[Lynne:] what car is it?
[David:] tyres and all that done
[Lynne:] mm
[David:] you know that new thing with, your catalytic converter
[Lynne:] aye
[David:] it'll have all that done to it, for eight hundred pound
[Rhiannon:] yeah
[Lynne:] mm, mm good
[David:] nice
[Rhiannon:] so when you getting that?, August
[David:] getting August and I
[Chris:] got some belts in the back an all mam
[David:] I can have it before that like, but I, I'll wait until me loans finished
[Lynne:] just the test force now
[Rhiannon:] ah
[David:] oh I know, I'll be passed before August
[Chris:] well passed before
[Lynne:] do you think you will Sharon?
[Chris:] no
[Rhiannon:] she doesn't think
[Chris:] no I know mum, I don't think I'll be passed before August even if I don't
[Lynne:] I had a funny dream about you
[David:] you will Sharon
[Chris:] I don't feel as though I
[David:] no your sit and smooth Elsa and I went off in heed, I am Tommy
[Lynne:] what?
[David:] I si, sitting there like that...
[Rhiannon:] had a bad dream then
[Lynne:] who, who when's that?, is that the dream?
[Rhiannon:] what, but, it's about the Co-Op, I went to the Co-Op in me dream, nothing but have on, and I was getting some of them what must have been a monthly thing
[Lynne:] [LAUGHTER] this is crazy []
[David:] aye
[Lynne:] writing my name and address and everything and then she went away, she says oh won't be a minute, she come back she says oh it is Mrs, no Mrs yeah I was laughing, she was rolling around on the floor laughing, yes I said oh it's
[Chris:] and then what happened?, you come back
[Lynne:] and then I come back and then I went to see them again and they were all on a great big table as though they were celebrating a party and Joyce said er
[Chris:] and you and you went, what did you say?
[Lynne:] she's, I says oh it's Mrs here
[Chris:] have we done enough with the signs?
[David:] no
[Rhiannon:] I tell you what
[David:] what's a red circle then?
[Chris:] what's a red triangle? what's a small triangle
[David:] a triangle with give way in it
[Lynne:] he doesn't
[Rhiannon:] he does, he wants those smarties and he knows, he knows where they'll be
[David:] give way on what?
[Chris:] on coming traffic
[Rhiannon:] what do you want?
[David:] you give, give way to the
[Chris:] to the right
[David:] no
[Rhiannon:] what do you want?
[Chris:] with oncoming traffic on the major road
[David:] well that's what I wanna know, that's right, that's all I wanna know, never give way to traffic on the, on the right, you could pull out on it, if indicating two cars in a circle a black and a red one
[Chris:] she seems to be struggling an all doesn't she?
[Lynne:] no, something, something she said
[Chris:] er
[Rhiannon:] something, well I says
[Chris:] don't know
[Rhiannon:] oh it's a
[David:] no overtaking
[Rhiannon:] next day
[Lynne:] aye and she said
[Rhiannon:] aye and you'll have to start saving this month
[David:] a circle a red circle
[Lynne:] aye
[David:] with a little red arrow
[Lynne:] sarcastic git
[David:] goes up and a big black arrow goes down
[Rhiannon:] I was gonna say so we don't have to
[Chris:] they've got right of way they waiting
[Lynne:] it's all should it? should it?
[David:] you give priority to the vehicles on opposite side motorbike on the top and a car on the bottom in a circle
[Chris:] no overtaking motor cycles [LAUGHTER]
[David:] no motor vehicles... what's the one with the car in?
[Chris:] eh?
[David:] what's the one with the car in?
[Chris:] [yawning] no vehicles, cars []
[David:] no vehicles except scooters, motorbikes... and moped... erm... did I ask you that one with er, it's a red circle right
[Chris:] mm, mm
[David:] it's a blue background
[Chris:] mm, mm
[David:] and it's got a red X in it
[Chris:] no entry
[David:] that one there... you'll see it on motorways
[Lynne:] I know what it is
[Chris:] but
[David:] right, hang on, hang on then clever shit, just spare me here... right, your wrong, well what do you think it is?
[Lynne:] er, fair enough that's
[Rhiannon:] er Darren I thought that was a old...
[Lynne:] er
[David:] how er now know this
[Lynne:] I did not know scho is it not no
[David:] no
[Chris:] I've seen it and I cannot think
[Rhiannon:] Sharon
[David:] you must know this on a motorway like Sharon
[Lynne:] no, it's seventy mile speed limit
[Rhiannon:] you phone Martha?
[Chris:] me dad was here
[David:] your speed limit one er is white with a black arrow, straight black through Sharon, you must know this on a motorway
[Chris:] I've seen it before I cannae think
[Lynne:] ha lights
[David:] no
[Chris:] no, but it
[David:] no, no, no you know what it means? you cannot stop, you are in a no stopping zone
[Chris:] right
[David:] and then when it's got that and it's got end on the bottom here, at the end of the stopping zone, you've got to know that on a motorway
[Chris:] right
[David:] right
[Lynne:] no stopping zone
[David:] right... I wannae know what
[Chris:] I wannae know
[David:] it goes like that right
[Chris:] what?
[David:] like black line like
[Chris:] aha
[David:] and then it goes like that on each side, what does that mean?
[Chris:] left and right turn, oh there's no turn
[David:] no, I tell you what it'll be easier if
[Chris:] it's going into one lane
[David:] road narrows
[Chris:] it's going into one lane
[David:] aye, you're wrong on that,
[Chris:] it's going in a single lane
[David:] no, think where it is?, two lane traffic, where is it?, it's a carriageway in it?
[Chris:] er
[Lynne:] dual carriageway
[Chris:] carriageway ahead
[David:] no, it ends, your off the dual carriageway
[Chris:] well that's what I said, you can only go one way
[David:] carriageway ahead well it's that's not the same Sharon is it?, cos you've failed your test
[Lynne:] erm end of dual, end of dual carriage way end of dual carriage way
[Chris:] I just said it, I'm saying it... end of dual carriageway
[David:] what's a black arrow pointing up over with a black arrow pointing down over in a triangle?
[Chris:] two lane traffic
[David:] no, but what?, you've got that bit right, two way traffic straight ahead, right...
[Chris:] so that's fine like if you're coming off a dual carriageway, maybe you'll see that
[David:] and what's it running that way? and that way?
[Chris:] left and right hand turn
[David:] no
[Chris:] huh
[David:] go on
[Chris:] that way and that way... well
[David:] cross a one way road
[Lynne:] cross, crossroads
[David:] no, no, he would of failed
[Chris:] what?
[David:] it crosses a one way road, you're coming up right
[Chris:] and there's a one way road going like that
[David:] say, and there's a one way road coming along, it's got a two way traffic on the top, but it crosses it
[Chris:] aye
[David:] do you know what I mean?
[Chris:] ahead
[David:] aha
[Chris:] there's two way traffic where you've gotta cr cross the one way road
[David:] you've gotta cross the one way road
[Chris:] so that's two arrows going that way
[David:] aha
[Chris:] right...
[David:] oh well you know what them are
[Chris:] well ask us Darren, I mightn't
[David:] just straight with a little tiny snip out of it...
[Chris:] eh?
[David:] it's er, it's a thing like that with a little tiny, a little tiny
[Chris:] bend
[David:] from the middle, no, does that look like a bend to you, that's a bend
[Chris:] can I, slip road
[David:] no
[Chris:] yeah
[David:] you've got to go for size of the
[Lynne:] for turning off
[David:] traffic merges from that side
[Chris:] you mean like a slip road?...
[Lynne:] slip roads when you turn off
[Chris:] aye, well like, like traffic merging from it though... don't sigh...
[David:] what's a blue box with three white lines in it?
[Chris:] three way traffic
[David:] you have to know that on the motorway an all
[Chris:] three lanes
[David:] that's it
[Chris:] what, with three lines across it?
[David:] three, it means you've got three for every lane, it's a hundred yards to your stopping distance, to you come to a junction
[Chris:] you have to start
[David:] you never see
[Chris:] start with a hundred
[David:] you never see them on the motorways
[Chris:] mm, mm
[David:] like you say you just get onto that right and it's, that's three hundred yards and you get the next one that's two hundred yards and a hundred yards until you stop, to the junction
[Chris:] cos does that you mean you've gotta stop
[David:] it counts they're, they're markers to count down
[Chris:] you've gotta start breaking when you see three
[David:] no
[Lynne:] no one
[David:] one, as soon as you get, well you've gotta work out what your speed is then, break, break your speed down to your stopping distance, say it's thirty, you wannae stop slowing down at... forty five feet... right, that's what you have to know... erm...
[Chris:] well Darren you're cramming too much in me head right now
[David:] well ask me some then
[Chris:] it's cramming too much in, I'm getting confused, I get
[David:] well I wanna learn new stopping distances here, no I'm not being funny Sharon
[Chris:] you know them, so why you asking?
[David:] well I want you to learn them... it doesn't take much to learn them either... going to learn them
[Lynne:] I used to know them
[David:] right, here's your stopping distances... read them, I'll give you till five to ten, got ten minutes
[Chris:] what that mean twen, is it metres or what? in metres
[David:] go in feet go in feet it's better
[Chris:] which ones that?, the red or the black?
[David:] what's the black?
[Chris:] mile an hour twenty, thinking distance twenty, what's it?
[David:] is it?, oh [cough] think twenty, twenty, forty
[Chris:] I want the distance, black
[David:] take the distance the black well look
[Chris:] the black is feet
[David:] the black is feet
[Chris:] right
[David:] right, twenty mile an hour right, shh twenty
[Lynne:] the reds thinking distance in it?
[David:] no
[Lynne:] there's one of them thinking distance in it?
[David:] you've got stopping distance, thinking distance overall you see
[Chris:] sshh
[David:] dead easy
[Lynne:] should know that an all
[David:] three coloured line at the motorway, see the next, its stop, you're not supposed to stop, you're not supposed to stop the flow of traffic
[Chris:] you don't go on a motorway for driving lessons
[Lynne:] thirty miles, it's forty
[Chris:] you only drive
[Lynne:] thirty feet is it? in the town, thirty miles, sixty feet is it?... is it Sharon?
[Chris:] don't
[Lynne:] thirty mile, that's sixty feet is it Sharon?
[Chris:] shh, er I'm trying to learn mine
[David:] thirty miles
[Lynne:] thirty mile an hour
[Chris:] it's seventy five feet
[Lynne:] seventy five
[David:] seventy five
[Lynne:] I thought it sixty something, in fact I thought, I was gonna say seventy seven
[Chris:] how'd ya work it out, is there a way to work it out
[David:] aye
[Chris:] how?
[David:] twenty mile an hour right
[Chris:] aha, goes to forty
[David:] your thinking distance, right your thinking distance is twenty
[Chris:] aha
[David:] right
[Chris:] aha
[David:] your stopping distance is thirty five
[Chris:] no it's not
[David:] your stopping distance for twenty miles an hour is twenty
[Chris:] no
[David:] it is and your overall is forty
[Chris:] well it doesn't say that
[David:] twenty, twenty, forty
[Chris:] what's that mean, so you, what you doing twenty mile an hour you think that you can stop in twenty mile an hour, at twenty feet
[David:] at twenty feet is you start braking it down
[Chris:] and then what's that mean braking
[Lynne:] a hundred, a hundred and forty feet for seventy
[Chris:] it takes twenty feet
[David:] twenty feet to stop
[Lynne:] it's a hundred and forty feet
[Chris:] then overall stopping distance, what does that mean then?
[David:] that's forty feet
[Chris:] what does that mean?
[Lynne:] that's seventy miles an hour
[David:] at forty at forty feet right
[Chris:] aha
[David:] you start slowing it down right, right
[Chris:] when?
[David:] and then, when you get to twenty feet, right?
[Chris:] aha?
[David:] now you start thinking then when you come to the junction and also you're slowing down, by the time you've done that, them two stages you should have all your gears ready and you should be prepared for it
[Chris:] so how'd ya work it out?
[Lynne:] at seventy mile it should be your hundred and forty feet
[Chris:] shouldn't have
[David:] no you shouldn't it should be three hundred and fifteen, the overall length, seventy is your think, thinking distance for that is seventy and your stopping distance should be two, four, five
[Chris:] how'd ya work it out Darren, you gonna tell us or not?
[David:] it's so simple
[Chris:] right, well it is
[David:] ere move up
[Chris:] I have er, I know, forty, a hundred and twenty two, seventy five a hundred seventy five and three
[David:] work on all these right
[Chris:] aha
[David:] twenty miles an hour right is forty, right
[Chris:] yeah
[David:] to get there, right thirty mile an hour is seventy five, right
[Chris:] aha
[David:] forty is a hundred and twenty, fifty is one seven five, sixty is two forty, seventy is three fifty right
[Chris:] aha
[David:] now ask you twenty, what, the thinking distance for twenty mile an hour right
[Chris:] forty
[David:] no it's not...
[Chris:] what then?
[David:] twenty
[Chris:] twenty
[David:] right, now your braking distance is twenty an all, right
[Chris:] yeah
[David:] no it's forty, twenty, twenty, forty right
[Chris:] I can get that one alright
[David:] thirty, right
[Chris:] thirty, forty five and seventy five
[David:] right, ask us, ask us any of them, you think the distance to stop
[Chris:] twenty
[David:] twenty
[Chris:] twenty
[David:] what's your braking distance?
[Chris:] twenty
[David:] twenty is your braking distance and your overall should be the there in the middle, which is forty, that's cos
[Chris:] oh you add one
[David:] aye
[Chris:] there and it's erm
[David:] thirty
[Chris:] thirty, forty five and seventy five, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, seventy five
[David:] now forty is a hundred and twenty, right
[Chris:] aha
[David:] so forty, forty mile
[Chris:] that would be
[David:] an hour right, so, your thinking distance would be the same mile as what?, your distance is forty and then
[Lynne:] you want
[David:] take that off and what have you got, it leaves you eighty as your braking distance
[Rhiannon:] oh
[Lynne:] all the time
[David:] seventy, right
[Rhiannon:] I know
[David:] your thinking distance is seventy, now what's seventy ov
[Chris:] no let let me, let me
[David:] right, I'll ask you then... right
[Chris:] forty, er thirty
[David:] see learning all them see Elsa
[Rhiannon:] what?
[David:] didn't even know her stopping distances...
[Lynne:] summat you'll learn when you're in the car though
[David:] no, he'll can't, he won't learn you Tommy
[Lynne:] oh
[David:] you've gotta, you've got to learn that yourself
[Lynne:] oh
[Chris:] this is just for your test when they ask you
[David:] but you should know
[Chris:] you're not saying well I'm a hundred and seventy five feet away
[David:] no, but you should be able to guess
[Chris:] I a hundred and seventy five feet
[David:] what, close enough
[Chris:] as it is, I know what one metre and that's about it
[Lynne:] how long would you say this street is?
[Chris:] I've got no idea dad, honest to god thirty, forty metres
[Lynne:] the whole street is about two hundred and fifty metres long
[Rhiannon:] it's not
[David:] two hundred and fifty, it can't be that long
[Chris:] it's not that long dad
[Lynne:] no, I suppose a hundred and fifty
[Chris:] I knew those distances
[Lynne:] hundred and fifty metres
[Chris:] no, I would say about fif, forty, fifty
[Lynne:] why you nodding?
[David:] no
[Lynne:] it's over a hundred
[David:] it's not
[Rhiannon:] about ninety
[David:] it's twenty five metres from and back, I say seventy five at the most... no fif, I'll say sixty
[Rhiannon:] I said forty six
[David:] six, sixty metres do you know what your braking, stopping distance
[Chris:] well I
[David:] from what it is in the snow?
[Lynne:] what?
[David:] you know erm, your stopping distances
[Lynne:] no
[David:] in the snow?
[Lynne:] twice the distance is it?
[David:] times ten
[Lynne:] is it?
[David:] seventy mile an hour takes
[Chris:] sshh
[David:] three thousand feet to stop