[speaker001:] I hate Vegemite, it's too salty. Yeah but Marmite's too
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] Yuk [] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER]... Tom what have we got first, Er B then M....
[Kath:] B then M?
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[Kath:] Oh erm well you don't seem in a very good mood.
[speaker001:] Will you wait for me, what time are you leaving here, about three two?
[Kath:] Why... er why I, those are my problems cos I can't go.
[speaker001:] She just left a message on the phone. I can't do it, Ginny has to do it. I can't do it either. [LAUGHTER] Why can't you do it? arrange a, to arrange er for you to have a facial done then.... Yeah. as well? [LAUGHTER] Yes [] I do. I know but skin Yeah but you don't actually have any acne. But I have serious blackheads. I have no but I have acne. Serious blackheads. It's a problem, it's a problem. No you haven't. One spot is acne to me [LAUGHTER].... That's really nice. [LAUGHTER] Shall we watch T V? Yeah. We might as well there's nothing else to do, apart from my, apart from my UCCA form. Why don't you Alright friends? Alright. Please don't crowd me at once, you know it's alright it's not a problem. I don't mind having no friends. Are you tape recording? Yeah.... [loud buzzing obliterates speech]
[Kath:] Don't you just love Claire she's such a nice girl.
[speaker001:] She's so fucking easy as well.
[Kath:] I know, rough bit.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] That's the worst insult Claire can give.
[Kath:] What? Oh I'm sorry but they are so, oh what, well actually we live in Majorca... you know?
[speaker001:] Her house is disgusting. Is it?
[Kath:] Is it really really rough?
[speaker001:] It's like... you know those houses Her mum is fucking Sharon Has it got all those little little crystally ornaments? [LAUGHTER] you know how you get those rows that are literally on a row? All it is is like this
[Kath:] What?
[speaker001:] like a big rectangle.
[Kath:] What?
[speaker001:] Their house.
[Kath:] I thought it was some massive mansion.
[speaker001:] What is it, have they have they got little things like little... Duck crystal ornaments everywhere? And gold carriage clocks and all the brass carriage clocks shit. Well they Are you saying there's something wrong with brass [LAUGHTER] carri [] [LAUGHTER] really trendy. A really antique one Yeah Yeah that really old one. Always tells the weather as well.
[Kath:] No ours is very small.
[speaker001:] Ours is about that big and
[Kath:] I think it must have been really fashionable at one point.
[speaker001:] Yeah. We've got the most hideous plates in the drawers
[Kath:] Now you get them free from Esso and stuff if you send away fifty tokens.
[speaker001:] just pop in, fill up... in my imaginary car, yeah.
[Kath:] Yeah! Fill up eh!
[speaker001:] Er Yeah [LAUGHTER] another burn out! [LAUGHTER] You're recording aren't you? Yeah
[Kath:] Yeah while the other one's playing. And tonight I'm having two of my very favourite friends over and I'm gonna be eating my and I'm gonna go sucking them up, urgh I can hardly wait.
[speaker001:] Where's this from?
[Kath:] ...
[speaker001:] It's one of your pornos isn't it? [LAUGHTER]... Who?... Urgh what's she doing back?... Who let her out the zoo? Why don't you? You waiting for someone?
[Kath:] Oh God yeah I'm just waiting for to come in now....
[speaker001:] Come on
[Kath:] Yeah. Is Laura still at home?
[speaker001:] Mm.
[Kath:] What's fucking wrong with her anyway?
[speaker001:] I never realized she wasn't, wasn't here.
[Kath:] I never realized she was, she was... wasn't here until about yesterday.
[speaker001:] No until she just told me now.
[Kath:] Has she shagged?
[speaker001:] No. No. Sorry? She's contemplating the emotional No no no, apparently
[Kath:] Yeah but come on okay, apparently erm after chapel
[speaker001:] apparently
[Kath:] once, okay, she did everything but shag Harry in his study.
[speaker001:] Yeah I heard that. No but erm apparently they, they were
[Kath:] She's a
[speaker001:] at Max and Jamie's party they were getting off with each other
[Kath:] Oh yeah, and she
[speaker001:] and she was arched over like this, yeah, and they were getting off and she went for his belt yeah and she was gonna undo his belt and Jules went... Laura Laura not now, you know, just don't undo my belt.
[Kath:] She's such a rough bird.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] Bird [].
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] Bird []....
[speaker001:] recording again.
[Kath:] No I'm not.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] Yes she is. Tomorrow.
[Kath:] Yeah but how much have you done already?
[Claire:] I'm er I'll show you.
[Kath:] Cos I've done absolute cack. I've done the bit where like on, is it D? Like and all that lot?...
[speaker001:] [cough]
[Kath:] Apart from that that's it.
[Claire:] erm just, just so fucked with this. Erm
[Kath:] Have you actually like translated it and stuff?
[Claire:] No way. Not a word.
[Kath:] There's so much to do and something about money, that's about as much as I know.
[Claire:] It's about money, look, that's how much I've done.
[Kath:] Oh good. Good.
[Claire:] I can't do that first bit, I copied that off... this bit's not too bad
[Kath:] No that's pretty easy.
[Claire:] I'm just pretending we're not doing C again.
[Kath:] We don't do C.
[Claire:] Don't we anyway? How's this?
[Kath:] Well that's what you told me. Oh is this bit okay erm you do that and then you just put like
[Claire:] That's what I'm gonna put. Have you done this?...
[Kath:] No. I'm gonna get fucked over this stuff....
[speaker001:] [whispering] []
[Kath:] It's not a problem, [LAUGHTER] it's not a problem []....
[Claire:] Yeah but Carolyn goes to fucking. What's happened with Jenny?
[Kath:] Jenny who?
[Claire:] .
[Kath:] Don't know.
[Claire:] They don't know yet.
[Kath:] Why what's supposed to happen then?
[Claire:] Well she was Dave in lesson time apparently.
[Kath:] Yeah I know....
[Claire:] Isn't she gonna get a shite on?
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] Oh! Oh gossip! Gossip! George have just had a cuss outside.
[Claire:] Yeah I know.
[Kath:] It's obscene.
[Claire:] How fucking disgusting.
[Kath:] It is rough, I'm sorry it really makes me sick.
[Claire:] How desperate is he? How desperate is he?
[Kath:] Very, he must be desperate because she is such a rough tart.
[Claire:] What is his problem?
[Kath:] I don't know.
[Claire:] God has he got no taste?
[Kath:] No he hasn't at all.
[Claire:] God. God. God. God again.
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] God look at the size of this fucking hole I've got to live in.
[Kath:] How long are you all staying here for?
[Claire:] Fucking ages, I don't know.
[Kath:] Oh well.
[Claire:] It's so infuriating and have you seen the Cambridge photos?...
[Kath:] No.... Oh my how drunk were you? Why have you got oh you know a grapefruit between your legs
[Claire:] A melon I was giving birth to it.
[Kath:] That's nice. [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] Mm. Yeah well shall we go and socialize?
[Kath:] Yeah.
[Claire:] Shall we go and socialize? Come on then love.
[Kath:] You'll just have to make sure you clean your sheets after that been jizzling all over it.
[Claire:] No I took the sheets off, I made him put his own sheets on.
[Kath:] Yeah?
[Claire:] Took my pillows, took my duvet.
[Kath:] Oh that's alright, it's not a problem.
[Claire:] Thing is there's no way Gemma and and that are gonna be allowed to stay upstairs when they've got boys downstairs.
[Kath:] Why, do you think they'll [LAUGHTER] a paedophile or something []?
[Claire:] No but I mean I just can't see that.
[Kath:] Why not?
[Claire:] It's like not moral.
[Kath:] Not moral?
[Claire:] Cos that's why they had to move out of this house in the first...
[Kath:] Place.... Oh well....
[speaker001:] No but who do you want to snog?
[Kath:] Don't know!
[Claire:] No well... there must be a list of people or something.
[Kath:] Oh yeah yeah I just keep a list of people who
[Claire:] No no write another fucking list every single time.
[Kath:] I don't know, I just want to snog.
[Claire:] Josh? Josh, Phil.
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] I told Phil I fancied him I went... Phil, you're my man.
[Claire:] [LAUGHTER] What'd he say []?
[Kath:] He goes oh oh Kath thanks
[Claire:] we followed him over to Albans and I walked in and he goes, he goes oh it's my disciples you just follow me everywhere don't you?
[Kath:] Oh God we just fancy him so much!
[Claire:] I went yeah Phil we all love you.
[Kath:] Stupid.
[Claire:] [shouting] Dick [].
[Kath:] I want to know why Si hasn't come up tonight.
[Claire:] [whispering] []
[Kath:] He went home. He was feeling rough.
[Claire:] He looked it baby.
[Kath:] Shut up.
[Claire:] You love it.
[Kath:] I don't love it. [sniff] I just wanna snog the boy again....
[Claire:] Oh God this whole school revolves around snogging people, going out with people, shagging people. It's just a nightmare.
[Kath:] It's just like a real system isn't it?
[Claire:] Mm. My last school wasn't like this at all, probably cos it was a day school
[Kath:] Yeah that was that was a convent.... break it.... It's not a problem....
[Claire:] No that's probably cos it was a girls school? A day school
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] and a convent....
[Kath:] That would explain it I suppose.
[Claire:] Yeah exactly. Oh I've got a really sore neck. I need some strong man to massage me.
[Kath:] Oh you're such a whore.
[Claire:] I'm not a whore.
[Kath:] Yes you are.
[Claire:] Fuck off.
[Kath:] [mimicking] Fuck off... fuck off []...
[Claire:] No I really... am getting annoyed now.
[Kath:] Why?
[Claire:] Because... I dunno... because it was... you know if you get off with someone on a Saturday night yeah?
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] Then... and then you get off, if you get off with them again on the Sunday
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] and you assume something's gonna happen... and just cos, I mean I was too embarrassed to speak to him on like Monday and Tuesday
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] it's now ended up like nothing's happening.... But it's really obvious that we're gonna get off with this weekend... cos we both keep making endu innuendos about it. baby... things like that.
[Kath:] Urgh urgh.
[Claire:] Exactly.
[Kath:] Some of the dreams I've had are just really odd, sorry but dreaming about a white hearse is just
[Claire:] That's so
[Kath:] head fuck, completely.
[Claire:] I had an odd dream last night actually
[Kath:] What?
[Claire:] I dreamt I went... I think I went to France, I think I was, I went on a day trip to France...
[Kath:] Well at least you didn't dream about shoving a blue towel up your trouser leg, well done.
[Claire:] Yeah we went to France and then... the thing about the bath came back and we all had a bath but we were all wearing clothes
[Kath:] Weird.
[Claire:] nothing sexual about it....
[Kath:] Oh no nothing sexual about it, no
[Claire:] What you and me with our clothes on?
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] Oh God I thought you were []
[Claire:] Urgh.
[Kath:] I thought we were talking about Si, I'm really really confused.
[Claire:] No no no no....
[Kath:] Queer bastard.
[Claire:] Who's a que me?
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] I'm not queer!
[Kath:] Oh mm. [sniff]...
[speaker004:] We're gonna spend the day in London, go shopping
[speaker001:] Guess what my dad told me today? What? He says erm he said he might er might be able to get me a car for the Christmas holidays Ah! You bitch. just for the Christmas holidays.
[Kath:] I haven't even passed my bloody test yet for fuck's sake.
[speaker001:] Wow! I couldn't believe my, I found out my friend had passed, I was so shocked.
[Kath:] Mm....
[speaker001:] What were you erm what were you s how come you were waiting for Jim tonight? Outside. Ah cos I was just lusting after, no no no no no no, no, no You thought I'd got off with him for fuck's sake! Oh did Lizzie tell you? Mm. No no I, I don't know, I sort of thought something might've happened. Oh yeah well you know, oh yeah [LAUGHTER] No well we th what you, what were you No well I was, I was just telling him something... and I said I'm not telling you till er ten thirty... just to keep him in suspense. I can't believe I know he's such a dick. Why didn't he go and bust them?... Maybe he was bored with busting people. What happened?
[Kath:] Okay erm... Jim and Si were over by the trees having a fag and walked
[speaker001:] So you could see Jim.
[Kath:] right past them with his dog and he didn't do a thing.
[speaker001:] Well like he walked up towards like... facing the direction where they were standing
[Kath:] Yeah, exactly.
[speaker001:] and you could see... Jim's like, his body shape Yeah you could tell cos you know like he wasn't close enough to the trees No. there was like the light between them, and they were like [cough] so obvious there's a person over there, and he was, he looked and then he, he just walked, walked off towards his house. That nice. Yeah but they pegged it back afterwards. I know. They were cacking themselves, it was really funny.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER] I cannot get busted. If I ever got busted I'd be in such fucking shit.
[Kath:] You smoke don't you?
[speaker004:] Yeah er no I
[speaker001:] , didn't even congratulate me when I walked in tonight for my wonderful [LAUGHTER] singing []. Did you solo? No, don't be stupid, I can't sing [LAUGHTER] [] great yeah she's so Who, who? Has she got a really good voice? She has, oh it's incredible. She's on a full sch music scholarship you know. Really? Mm. Yeah they pay for everything. Shit! I wish they'd pay for me. Just like me, ha ha ha. Pay for me to doss yeah. Yeah right. Right ...
[speaker004:] My plane ticket's even paid for I don't pay a cent to be here....
[Kath:] Really?
[speaker004:] Yeah.
[Kath:] You're not paying like school fees or anything?
[speaker004:] No. I mean I have to pay for my books at the end of the year but that's all.
[Kath:] Jesus Christ!
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kath:] Er prep was a nightmare my middles no, no
[speaker001:] Oh you took prep?
[Kath:] I had to take prep, yeah, and my middles were being really really disgusting. They were going
[speaker001:] They're such terrors I'm gonna have to take my brother for prep. Can you believe that? [LAUGHTER] the girls take the removes instead of the [shouting] Miss []... instead of the middles like we used to Yeah. I'm gonna lose my voice, I think I wanna be ill actually so I can go home and don't, don't come back. [LAUGHTER]
[Kath:] No you don't wanna be ill.
[speaker001:] I don't wanna come back.
[Kath:] You don't wanna be ill cos when I was admitted to the san I nearly died, I tried everything to get out the san and she just wouldn't
[speaker001:] I know, mm I think I'll just stay at home.
[Kath:] let me.
[speaker001:] I think I'll just go home on Sunday and stay at home, go home and s tell my, pretend to my mum I'm dying like spend all day asleep.
[Kath:] I'm going to the pub this weekend. Hello!
[speaker001:] Can I come and complain to you about please? Yes. Come on. What's he done. Fucking dick! Fucking hate him, fucking hate the fucking school. I went down to see Will at ten o'clock after
[Kath:] Yeah? Yeah?
[speaker001:] my parents had gone
[Kath:] Yeah?
[speaker001:] went down to see him and he was in his study because he, he, as you know I was with my parents Yeah? and he went straight back to his study and I thought I'd go and see him because my parents had gone
[Kath:] Yeah?
[speaker001:] so I tap on the window, had just gone past and I was just about to go in his room, you know, cos he's standing there and I just tapped on the window come outside... Nick had just walked by and Rick and... were talking you know it's not like the dead of night and everything's quiet
[Kath:] Yeah.
[speaker001:] he said to me it's a bit late to go knocking on windows isn't it, and I was like... I didn't say anything I just thought well
[Kath:] No. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[Kath:] But you can't really say that.
[speaker001:] and he said erm come on this is the boys' area or something like that... erm and I just stood there, I was so amazed because he's wrong, you're allowed to go
[Kath:] I know that's the visiting times you're allowed to be down there
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[Kath:] till what, ten fifteen?
[speaker001:] Yeah. I wasn't in his study. Yeah. Oh what an arsehole. Did Will come out? Yeah, well no cos he just, he pulled the curtain [cough] I was knocking and then and then he said and er I just stood there... he said like you know... you're not allowed to be here it's too late, it's the boys' area erm come on, sort out, you know, come on sort it out you know like he says that He's anal retentive, that's what it is.
[Kath:] He's what?
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] Anal retentive []. [LAUGHTER] Anal retentive anal
[Kath:] What else did he say? Did he tell you to go?
[speaker001:] Yeah. He said come on sort it out and I walked off and like I just walked away and Achil and thingy were laughing at, you know, cos not at me at how crap
[Kath:] Yeah.
[speaker001:] had been and how I had to go away
[Kath:] Yeah.
[speaker001:] Oh hello party
[Kath:] Oh hello. This is a shock, no one ever comes down here. Bet it's all cos Nick isn't down there or something, no you've [LAUGHTER] just been with Nick [].
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] [] Sorry. So I walked off so I said to
[Kath:] Oh that's alright,
[speaker001:] fucking, fucking crap and as I was saying that my voice broke and I walked off and I started crying so pissed off, it just makes me feel such a girl. You're not allowed here, this is the boys' Yeah
[Kath:] He's such an arsehole.
[speaker001:] part you're not part of this school, we're meant to be part of the school. Yeah.
[Kath:] It's cos he's a fucking sexist isn't he?
[speaker001:] He's so sexist. biased. What did he say? He just, I went down to visit Will and I w would have got there like four minutes past ten or something and I n n knocked on his window and about Mm. just about to go in his room erm Will's study you know he said, you know, bit late to go knocking on the window, this is the boys' area er er you know, you shouldn't be here at this time of night, this is the boys' area. He's such a bastard.
[Kath:] Yeah but visiting time is till ten fifteen.
[speaker001:] Yeah. Yeah. We invite boys into our common room, you know Yeah.
[Kath:] Mm.
[speaker001:] erm you know
[Kath:] And that's even closer to the girls
[speaker001:] Dick. Oh no, why didn't you say to him look I thought I was allowed to see er like Well I was going to, I was just gonna say, I didn't know exactly, yeah I didn't know exactly what to say but I felt really silly saying [tut] it's visiting times at the moment, or I'm allowed to see him now, I don't know I Yeah.
[Kath:] Yeah well then you don't know whether he's gonna bite your head off, mm.
[speaker001:] I suddenly wondered if I was allowed [LAUGHTER] Yeah [] He's such an arsehole. But I can't believe when he s called you a slut What!
[Kath:] Oh my God at swimming!
[speaker001:] Called you a slut?
[Kath:] She was chewing, okay, and
[speaker001:] I wasn't chewing gum though, I was eating sweets
[Kath:] no you were like eating or something mm
[speaker001:] yeah.
[Kath:] and he goes God you're such a slut or something, got really aggressive.
[speaker001:] He goes don't you know it's rude to eat in public. You girls lower the school down, you look like a slut, yeah? And I was standing there going... [LAUGHTER] Oh God, I would've crawled into a hole for the rest of my life [].
[Kath:] I, I was standing next to her, I was going... Jesus Christ!
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] I know, everyone was just going []... then erm I told my m my er parents and my parents said to me go and tell your house master so I told What a shit. told his wife and his [LAUGHTER] wife went and had a go at him [] [LAUGHTER] I would, yeah. and then, and then came up to me and said erm He didn't if you if you go and see this afternoon erm he would like to speak to you and I was like... he should come and speak to me Yeah! Yeah. and erm So you went and saw him? so I went and saw him and he goes... I didn't mean it as a slut as, as in a promiscuous woman [LAUGHTER] so he goes, no he goes I, I mean it as a slovenly woman, like you're [scream] so much better! He goes I didn't mean to insult you, oh no sir, right, yeah! slovenly from time to time, yeah. And then he goes, he goes erm it's, it gets erm it really gets to me when I think people are chewing around school, I don't know what to do to stop people and I wasn't chewing, yes well it looked like chewing, but I wasn't chewing! Oh God it was so pathetic. But just to call anyone a slut is just so rude. It's just so rude, I know. I know you don't, especially an adult... in this school calling someone I know. They're not adults in this school, don't worry. Oh yeah, My dad, do you know what my dad said? My dad was, my dad walked straight, just past him, was like where you are and my dad was where my feet are Yeah? and he goes... that's that fucking arsehole that called you a slut isn't it? [LAUGHTER] And I was like [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] can you say it any louder dad [] [LAUGHTER] as well like er [LAUGHTER] he sounds so funny [].
[Kath:] Yeah he speaks and he goes you alright Kath and I went...
[speaker001:] What! yeah hi My dad said hello to you?
[Kath:] Yeah!
[speaker001:] How the hell did he know who you are?
[Kath:] I don't know....
[speaker001:] [scream] [LAUGHTER] Oh blimey [].
[Kath:] He just went hello Kath, I went... right, yeah, yeah cos I do actually know who you are
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kath:] I just remember the time he came into erm and he had a fag and he set the alarm off.
[speaker001:] Are you recording that? Did he? Mr Have you recorded me complaining about? [LAUGHTER]
[Kath:] Oh probably, it doesn't matter.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] Wait, Mr smokes...
[speaker001:] Does he?
[Kath:] Does he?
[speaker004:] Oh I thought you said he had a fag and he set off the alarm.
[Kath:] No no no no no her dad had one
[speaker004:] Oh.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] My dad [].
[Kath:] and he set the alarm off
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] Did he? When?
[Kath:] Yeah. He came to see you, he came in with a fag, wafting it around the place
[speaker001:] Did he?
[Kath:] and the, the er alarm started beeping inside the machine, we were going
[speaker001:] I didn't know this.
[Kath:] oh my God, my God problem, problem.
[speaker001:] I didn't know this. dad walked up here, yeah, [LAUGHTER]
[Kath:] It was so funny.
[speaker001:] We used to do that all the time chain smoker. Should I do anything though? Because he was wrong and he just made me feel really crap. Mm right.
[Kath:] Go and tell.
[speaker001:] Just go I was gonna but I, I thought, I thought if sees me when I come in, cos I had make up all down my face cos I'd been so upset, I got so angry with the whole thing
[Kath:] Mm. Yeah.
[speaker001:] it just makes you wanna
[Kath:] Yeah.
[speaker001:] and I've got so much work you just think oh fuck it it's... Mr 's such a dick, I hate that man, he really... Yeah I hate it when he, he makes you feel like God he makes you feel so... crap. I really wish I wasn't here. That's what I was saying to Will and...
[Kath:] Did Will come out then?
[speaker001:] Yeah he came out afterwards but I don't think he realized because he didn't come out
[Kath:] Yeah....
[speaker001:] I thought if M if Dr looked at me and oh are you alright, I was that angry to actually say something cos I wondered if, you know, shall I, if I shut up Mm I never I never knew whether to say anything it's probably safest to shut up about things like that though to until erm... until when I came back after I'd spoken to my parents that weekend. Yeah. Well you'd definitely got something but I I know. I haven't, mine's not quite as bad as that but er he was wrong I think. I know. Just say to erm... I am er I mean Mr told me But the point is yeah. er we all hate the school... and if we all hate the school, no wonder no girls are coming. Mm. If you hate the school, you're not going to say to someone hey come to Haileybury. Right. Right. purple skirt. Which one? How many purple skirts you got Siobhan? Two.
[Kath:] She's got two.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker004:] sexually frustrated.
[speaker001:] Sounds right.
[Kath:] Oh you're sexually frustrated as well, that's good, at least I'm not the only one....
[speaker001:] I'll wear a skirt tomorrow.
[speaker004:] I'm probably the sexually frustratedest person in this school.
[speaker001:] Kath. Kath I'm gonna wear a skirt
[Kath:] Yeah, why?
[speaker004:] Cos!
[speaker001:] I went for a MacDonalds after Really?
[speaker004:] Because I cannot find a fucking man.
[Kath:] There aren't any nice men here.
[speaker004:] I know, they're boys.
[Kath:] They're prepubescent dicks basically
[speaker004:] Yes no they don't have dicks, they have little knobs.
[speaker001:] so stupid. [LAUGHTER] they're not used to girls being round till they're
[Roxy:] Yeah.
[Kath:] in the sixth form.
[Roxy:] Yeah and also it's like if you a personality here then you're doomed.
[Kath:] I mean when I got, when I got here okay... er when I was in the lower sixth and I like sort of got in and then like it was so weird being, I mean I'd never been to a blokes' school before I came here
[Roxy:] Oh really? Really?
[Kath:] so I'd never had blokes in my class, it was really really weird
[Roxy:] Yeah, I'm sure.
[Kath:] and they were such a load of dicks when we first met, you know, and they're just like trying to impress all the time... and now I mean you've been here for, what, a year and, year and a bit and
[Roxy:] And you know them and you see them when they look like shit in the morning and you see their
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah exactly [].
[Roxy:] I mean... I went to a boarding school before I came here that was just like that... but, but it was more like, I don't know, the guys there, I had more friends that were boys than friends with the girls, yeah
[Kath:] Mm.
[Roxy:] because like... I don't know, but it seems like they're, they're... they don't, they're not interested in being friends with you er it's just like I wanna fuck you I don't wanna [LAUGHTER] I don't really wanna talk to you
[Kath:] Yeah.
[Roxy:] urgh!
[speaker001:] Who's a student here? I'll do whatever I feel like when I'm I was thinking when I've left the school if anything else happens I'll just feel really pissed off and I'm gonna write a letter and say, you know, now I've left the school [LAUGHTER] I feel quite Yeah and I'll say, I mean you are the reason why I left the school, you know, none of the girls are happy by their upper sixth, in the lower sixth you might think it's alright but by the time
[Kath:] Yeah but in the lower sixth the fucking rules
[speaker001:] this time last year that I know, it depends how much you've been caught for....
[Kath:] Oh my God the time I nearly got busted!
[speaker001:] did you
[Kath:] For fuck's sake, when I was going, when I
[speaker001:] Well have you ever have you ever been busted for smoking?
[Kath:] No. When I was going out with Tom
[speaker001:] Oh yeah.
[Kath:] erm
[speaker001:] you got busted in the lane didn't you?
[Kath:] Easter term, Easter term, down the lane okay suddenly like torches it was,, and
[speaker001:] They were supposed to be at a play weren't they?
[Kath:] Yeah
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[Kath:] and they got cacked on and I was going oh no no no, I don't smoke, don't smoke, don't smoke erm... I was just down here with my boyfriend... you know having a... sly snog, you know
[speaker001:] Ooh ooh a snog [LAUGHTER] having a slog, you know, behind the tree Mr
[Kath:] yeah and I was being sly about it, going down the lane not standing right outside his house, right. Oh I just remember cacking myself it was just so, so scary.
[speaker001:] What did the boys get?
[Kath:] They got four I D Ts. [LAUGHTER] Tom didn't get anything though cos I said he didn't [LAUGHTER] smoke [].
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] Who's he? Do I, is he still here? He's going out with Lucy
[Roxy:] Oh yeah.
[speaker001:] but I can't, I can't, I don't know what anyone actually sees in her.
[Kath:] She, I think she's fucking ugly.
[speaker001:] I she's fucking Yeah. and she's quite ugly and her shoes She's so make her feet swing along [LAUGHTER]
[Kath:] oh I love their platform shoes, I mean they're fucking rub they can't even walk in them.
[speaker001:] Mm.
[Roxy:] No I just don't, I mean I don't understand what's... like if you see who's going out with people it's always the boringest people, I've never seen any of them smile, laugh, talk, they just, they just seem like to be shells of people
[Kath:] Mm.
[Roxy:] Like
[speaker001:] People going out with people? Like me?
[Roxy:] like, like with no no no no no no no I'm talking about
[speaker001:] Yeah you're very boring did you know that?
[Kath:] Yeah, yeah, we don't like you.
[Roxy:] like, like, like Lucy, I've never heard a word come out of her mouth.
[Kath:] That's cos it's a
[speaker001:] She's quiet like that anyway.
[Kath:] no but they go around with, she goes around with Katrina and Zoey and it's like a little clique
[Roxy:] Oh. I mean I like them, I like most of them
[speaker001:] Katrina's quite nice she has nice
[Kath:] Katrina's really nice she's
[Roxy:] I like Katrina, I'm not sa I can't say anything cos I don't know them but it's just it seems to me like, like the boys must be intimidated by girls who actually...
[speaker001:] What house are you in? Mm.
[Kath:] Who have you got in your house? Oh you've got big schlong er Mark...
[Roxy:] Oh does he have a big schlong
[Kath:] Yeah, a very large one.
[Roxy:] Really?
[speaker001:] How do you know?
[Kath:] I don't know, it's just
[speaker001:] Oh I've heard about that, who to someone told me.
[Kath:] apparently he's got a
[speaker001:] It's Ally in who's got a really big one. Trina knows that he's got a big schlong.
[Kath:] Alistair, the deaf bloke, yeah.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] I've seen it [].
[Kath:] Have you? When?
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] I was lifeguarding at the swimming pool, I turned around and the silly shit was getting out of [LAUGHTER] his school uniform, strip naked, was standing at the other end of the pool didn't say anything,Al Alistair, deaf guy Oh yeah. pulls on his trunks then he... swims for a while, gets out, takes off his trunks, puts his towel round himself, rubs himself, walks round the pool a couple of times and rubs himself [LAUGHTER] takes the towel off and puts his uniform back on and I was like Did you see it completely? yeah, well, you know
[Kath:] Has he got a massive dick?
[speaker001:] I don't know I didn't [LAUGHTER] stare that long []. Cor! Oh my God it was so funny.
[Kath:] House swimming... when they're all standing up and sort of going oh no no, God cover up, you know
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] I'm not swimming this year. [LAUGHTER]
[Kath:] No nor am I,
[speaker001:] But I'm gonna have to there are only two girls in the lower sixth.
[Kath:] I'm not, I refuse to, I refuse to swim, point blank.
[speaker001:] Yeah but you've got, at least you've got, you've got four, Thompson's got most girls. Has it? Yeah. It did have last year. It has this year as well I think.
[Kath:] Li there are four
[speaker001:] Yeah there's two
[Kath:] She's a dick.
[Claire:] Who is she going out with?
[Kath:] Ed.
[Claire:] Who's Ed?
[Kath:] Ed 's a dick as well.
[speaker001:] He is, I've seen him but I've ne I don't, I've never, like I've never spoken to him Heard of him. Why's he a dickish? What's wrong with him? Oh God
[Kath:] Dunno he's just a dick [LAUGHTER] apparently []... apparently.
[Roxy:] Apparently.
[Kath:] Oh apparently!
[speaker001:] Can't believe it, my mum brought food for my brother up today
[Roxy:] for you.
[Kath:] And you didn't br she didn't bring
[speaker001:] she didn't bring me any, she didn't even think to bring me my washing.... My mummy brought me a bit and we're going out on Saturday anyway.
[Roxy:] I can't wait
[Kath:] I'm going to the pub on Saturday!
[speaker001:] Where are you going?
[Roxy:] I'm going to London
[Kath:] Duncan Arms.
[speaker001:] I might, I mean you don't mind if I
[Kath:] No oh well actually we do, me and Ros want to have a quiet drink on our own, you know!
[Roxy:] Our pub.
[Kath:] A quiet, a quiet Diet Coke, you know!
[speaker001:] cos there's no alcohol
[Kath:] We're not drinking alcoholically on Saturday at all.
[speaker001:] Okay then.
[Kath:] We're, we're on the water, we're on the water.
[speaker001:] Right, that's why you're going out for the whole evening, for the water eh? [LAUGHTER]
[Kath:] Yeah.
[speaker001:] It's better in the Duncan Arms than it is here right?...
[Kath:] Yeah, I mean, you know, I've run out of Diet Coke here so you know I'll have to go and have some at the pub, yeah.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah, right. Have you told Shit the last time yeah, the last time I was there I was so fucked, I had what... a pint of cider, we did Tequila shots Ah!
[Kath:] we're going like one, two, three down
[speaker001:] oh I love 'em.
[Kath:] and then gin and tonics till they were flowing out our ears
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kath:] then me and, me and er Claire decided to go back early
[speaker001:] Is that like when you erm got off with Matt?
[Kath:] Jade.
[speaker001:] Oh Jade?
[Kath:] Mm.
[speaker001:] Oh that's right.
[Kath:] Crawling back to house at quarter to eleven
[speaker001:] We've got ten girls.
[Kath:] going
[speaker001:] shit. [LAUGHTER]
[Kath:] Miss goes to me, she goes
[speaker001:] have got ten girls we've got ten girls.
[Kath:] where've you been, I went erm oh erm the taxi was late erm... got caught up in traffic
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] traffic in, in Hertford []. Ha! At quarter to eleven! In Hertford!
[Kath:] erm well,Li erm she, she goes well Lizzie told us that erm that your taxi was in front of hers, I went oh no no no, that wasn't me that was someone else.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] Thanks Liz []. [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] She, she got off with Si again tonight. Oh yeah I heard. Ooh. Do you think they'll go out? Do you know I wondered why they were suddenly
[Kath:] Don't know.
[speaker001:] Is he? Yeah. Ah! I mean he's a friend of Jamie's anyway isn't he?
[Kath:] She's s she's sorted for the weekend isn't she?
[speaker001:] Yeah she
[Kath:] There's me single, a single woman
[speaker001:] Is Debbie going?
[Kath:] Yeah.
[speaker001:] It's his birthday the day after Carrie's
[Kath:] It's his birthday tomorrow.
[speaker001:] Oh day before Carrie's I mean, sorry, I knew it was the day after or day before.
[Kath:] I think it's tomorrow anyway.
[speaker001:] Jamie who? Oh. He always intimidates me hugely.
[Kath:] I think he's revolting.
[speaker001:] I've, I've never even talked to him No but just the way
[Kath:] He's got such an ego
[speaker001:] He intimidates me the first time I ever talked to him was in the pub Yeah that was so, it was fucking random, I've never talked to him in my entire life, I ended up, after we all left, talking to him for so long Did you? yeah, he's a really What about? nice guy... like about... can't even remember now Ha! [LAUGHTER] we ended up entertaining we ended up entertaining erm everybody that was sitting there, it was really funny and we were It's so cold in here I know but he can probably be nice like that but then he'll just change and become all cool when he wants to be Yeah. and, and drop people that that Yeah I mean I wasn't expecting anything like er erm like him being a nice person to me ever again but it was fun Yeah. for the time being, you know? Yeah.... [clears throat] [LAUGHTER] It was really quite funny cos everybody was laughing at us. Why? Can you believe this, okay, Hattie's... Oh. What? Nothing. Hattie's parents came to the concert tonight cos Hattie's in the choir You told me, yeah. and er... Hattie wasn't singing. Oh shit! She's supposed to be ill, it was so funny. She didn't even come to watch, what are you whispering about? Nothing. [shouting] Tell us []. Nothing! Yes! No no... it's not a problem, you were talking about Hattie? No I've finished, thank you [LAUGHTER] thank you for listening. She didn't even tell her that er you told me earlier I know, I was telling Kathy that's why?
[Kath:] What was it, I wasn't [LAUGHTER] listening []?
[speaker001:] Well fine I won't tell you this time! About Hattie, she wasn't in the concert cos she... supposed to be ill but she didn't even come to watch and her parents came to watch her.
[Kath:] Oh
[speaker001:] She didn't even tell her parents.
[Kath:] Her sister's coming, well if she gets in.
[speaker001:] Yeah, she'll get in. [LAUGHTER] Oh tell her not to [LAUGHTER] Well we'll be left by then so Oh no, she'll get on fine. it's not a problem. Her sister's really pretty. Is she? Yeah I've seen her, she's really pretty. But she's really thin so yeah and she's tall like Hattie.
[Kath:] Taller than Hattie!
[speaker001:] No she's tall and thin like Hattie.
[Kath:] Yeah I was gonna say
[speaker001:] But she's got straight hair and it's Really? long and it's and it's, it's about the same colour as Hattie's, a bit darker
[Kath:] I can't remember. Well I remember her
[speaker001:] and she's got a really really good complexion, bit like Hattie. [yawn] I wanna complain, I wanna complain and I wanna make people realize She walks like Hattie as well actually.
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] Oh what, swanning around []?
[speaker001:] Yeah, but she doesn't sort of go like this all the time though.
[Kath:] How long's she been going out with?
[speaker001:] Er six months... no six months and a week. Oh God. It was her anniversary a week ago, no two weeks ago sorry. I've been going out with Will for nine months and five days! [raspberry]
[Kath:] Whoa!
[speaker001:] I've been single for, now let's see Nine months and five days, you could've had a baby by now. [LAUGHTER] No! Yeah. [LAUGHTER]... wishing children Oh God!
[Kath:] I want a baby.
[speaker001:] No you don't. I don't my children would crawl away from home.
[Kath:] Not now.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] I want lots of babies when I'm older. No! I'm really afraid of being shit I want two I want a girl and a boy. I want at least three but four [LAUGHTER] I don't want any children. My children would hate me. I wouldn't want three, I wouldn't want I want one of each. I'd love twins.
[Kath:] Yeah I've wanted a twin
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[Kath:] I think it would be so weird to have a twin. Can you imagine two Kathy around the place.
[speaker001:] [LAUGHTER] Oh God Would you carry another woman's would you carry another woman's baby if she couldn't have it? poor boys round here [] [LAUGHTER]
[Kath:] Sorry?
[speaker001:] Would you carry another woman's baby if she couldn't have it? Have her egg and, and her husband's sperm planted inside you?
[Kath:] No.
[speaker001:] Don't know. I wouldn't. [LAUGHTER] I'd be like fucking [LAUGHTER] []. Actually
[Kath:] No no no I couldn't do anything disgusting like that.
[speaker001:] How can men, yeah,whe when they're sort of, when their firm's not okey-dokey [LAUGHTER] Okey-dokey []. okey-dokey... how can they have someone else's that's been put in a test tube and kept... fertilized and their wife's their wife. egg Yeah. cos it's not gonna be their kid is it? No. Yeah but they could still love it like it was their kid. Yeah. It's only like adopted
[Kath:] It's like adopted
[speaker001:] why don't you adopt one, yeah.
[Kath:] or fostered.
[speaker001:] people won't adopt because it's really hard to get a baby. your wife wouldn't it? be possessive, I wouldn't. I wouldn't want someone else, want another woman's egg to have... A random man. my husband's... my future husband, my husband Yeah. my husband... whoever my husband might be [LAUGHTER] Yeah. Cos you're not really thinking about who it might be! I'm not I'm just talking [LAUGHTER] about my future husband, making the point that, I'm not saying I'm going to marry him. Did you know that there's like a huge chance that you'll marry someone you know by the time you're eighteen? Is that not scary as crap?
[Kath:] Weird.
[speaker001:] There is not a single person right now eighteen?
[Kath:] There's not a single person at Hailebury I'd even
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[Kath:] consider
[speaker001:] Yeah.
[Kath:] marrying.
[speaker001:] I know. It's disgus
[Kath:] Even living with.
[speaker001:] Yeah or even grrrrrrr [LAUGHTER] Well will they cos the thing [LAUGHTER] the thing is What does grrrrrrr mean? It just means urgh urgh! But the thing is
[Kath:] No but all the blokes are so revolting.
[speaker001:] the thing is that something must happen to them by the time they reach the age of twenty three that makes us want to marry them. George didn't shag Dave did she?
[Kath:] No she didn't.
[speaker001:] No I didn't think
[Kath:] Apparently she did but she didn't.
[speaker001:] Who's this? Pete apparently Pete made it up just to get erm get at her. The rumour's going round that erm Dave and... yeah
[Kath:] Well Pete walked in on them and apparently they were butt naked and shagging away... and it was a load of crap.
[speaker001:] Who? Georgia and Dave
[Kath:] though she's such a slag, I'm sorry but she
[speaker001:] Dave
[Claire:] Er it only took you
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] Half an hour [].
[Claire:] thirty three minutes.
[Kath:] Oh to be exact, yeah....
[Claire:] I hate.
[Kath:] Are you gonna go out with him then?
[Claire:] I don't know.... Depends.
[Kath:] Depends on what?
[Claire:] [LAUGHTER] Don't know really [].
[Kath:] Tell me.
[Claire:] I don't know, it depends. I dunno we'll see what happens.... I don't want to be a real
[Kath:] Mm.... Urgh God tomorrow.
[Claire:] God who do we have?
[Kath:] Oh we're talking about sex poems.
[Claire:] Well we don't have to, we do change over now don't we?
[Kath:] Do we? [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] Mm....
[Kath:] Oh...
[Claire:] Apparently we do.
[Kath:] Apparently.
[Claire:] No we do cos I've had three with erm... no three and a one out, so that's four
[Kath:] Yeah.... [LAUGHTER] got fucked today.
[Claire:] Yeah I know, I saw Heidi when I was
[Kath:] Well Sophie's er bloody erm... allergic to alcohol and Heidi, she was so funny okay, she had, what, two Martini Rossos and she was fucked, totally. It was very funny.
[Claire:] Allergic to alcohol?
[Kath:] She's allergic to alcohol, she ge she gets really pissed on like one, two glasses of wine.
[Claire:] Yeah but allergic means you come up in something.
[Kath:] No I means, basically it means that... it gets to her head really quickly... like one, two glasses of wine... and she's off her trolley....
[Claire:] Oh I couldn't handle that.
[Kath:] Nor could I.
[Claire:] No but er I saw Heidi when I was on my way down to the grubber and Heidi had a slightly massive armful of chocolate, I was going what are you doing, she said I've gotta go and make Sophie sick
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] I was going good grief, she goes make her sick if it kills me.
[Kath:] Rough! Siobhan got off with Jim tonight.
[Claire:] Yeah I know I told you.
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] They're useless.
[Kath:] I know. Urgh the mind's going. Is this?
[Claire:] Yeah.
[Kath:] [cough] I'm really fucked off with this cold now.
[Claire:] Mm. It's the weekend soon.
[Kath:] I know. I'm going to the pub.
[Claire:] What pub are you going to?
[Kath:] The Duncan Arms.
[Claire:] Oh I'll see you there.
[Kath:] You going?
[Claire:] Mm.
[Kath:] Who with?
[Claire:] Everyone who's going to Carrie's.
[Kath:] Oh are you going, oh I didn't realize you were going to the pub I thought you were going out somewhere.
[Claire:] No we're going to the, the Chinese
[Kath:] Yeah.
[Claire:] till about nine thirty then we're
[Kath:] Yeah.
[Claire:] going to the Duncan till about eleven thirty and then we're going to Carrie's....
[Kath:] Oh fuck! Well I'll be... practically gone by the time you get back, I mean
[Claire:] No we get there at nine thirty you leave at quarter past ten.
[Kath:] Yeah, oh yeah... that's alright....
[Claire:] Well it depends what but I'll, I'll probably come down, I'll be definitely down by nine thirty cos I
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] won't even be eating at the Chinese....
[Kath:] You'll get fucked.
[Claire:] I will but I don't want to get fucked.
[Kath:] Don't start crying.
[Claire:] No no I don't want to do anything
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] I'd regret with Si.
[Kath:] Well what would you regret?...
[Claire:] I don't know, it depends what [LAUGHTER] how drunk I get doesn't it []?
[Kath:] You wouldn't end up shagging though.
[Claire:] No.... He's quite a forceful boy though....
[Kath:] Say no more.
[Claire:] I mean Jamie wasn't exactly forceful.
[Kath:] No.
[Claire:] He's such an opposite to Jamie, I thought they were like almost alike but they're not.
[Kath:] Oh no, no two people are the same....
[Claire:] Jamie rushed out pissed off and upset this afternoon.
[Kath:] He was?
[Claire:] Jamie.
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] oh I'm going home now.
[Kath:] Why? What was wrong with him? He's not still erm annoyed about rugby is he? Why has he got a D T?
[Claire:] I don't know, he got another D T and he's, that's the fourth time he's gotta go and see the master about it or something.
[Kath:] Oh shit.
[Claire:] And that means he might get banned from playing rugby.
[Kath:] That's scary. No
[Claire:] Well his dad would absolutely go mental.
[Kath:] Oh God, banned from doing rugby, oh my God.
[Claire:] Yeah well his dad would go mental.
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah I suppose....
[Claire:] It was really funny I was listening to this story, it was about a toyboy
[Kath:] Mm?
[Claire:] find it... it's [LAUGHTER] the news []
[Kath:] Oi!...
[Claire:] [cough] No I don't know... but on Saturday it's gonna be all like li little couples.
[Kath:] Yeah you Si... Carrie Eugene, Will Charlotta
[Claire:] Kirsty John
[Kath:] Kirsty John
[Claire:] Chris Gemma
[Kath:] Chris Gemma, yeah
[Claire:] Heidi Jesse, Marcus and Phil [LAUGHTER]... and oh Jamie and... John
[Kath:] John.
[Claire:] not invited.
[Kath:] Oh dear.
[Claire:] Jamie's gone and invited her.... It's a bit of a problem.
[Kath:] Only cos he wants to snog.
[Claire:] I know. But he's in such a bad mood at the moment. It's his
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] birthday tomorrow.
[Kath:] I thought it was.... I'm not getting him anything.
[Claire:] I've got him a birthday card up there.
[Kath:] [sigh] He doesn't mean anything to me.
[Claire:] Ah he's a friend to me.
[Kath:] He is a friend. Actually I forgot about it or else I would've ma I would've got him a card.
[Claire:] I thought you were getting pissed down Hertford today.
[Kath:] I wanted to.... I've got
[Claire:] [yawning] Ooh []
[Kath:] Yeah me and Roxy and Claire were in a real drinking mood.
[Claire:] You should've done....
[Kath:] But we didn't....
[Claire:] Well you should've done cos I thought you were going to cos I thought yeah we've got, haven't got anything to do this afternoon
[Kath:] [sniff] Yeah.
[Claire:] so I thought you were going to cos you didn't come back for a long time. MacDonalds.
[Kath:] I had one.
[Claire:] What did you have?
[Kath:] I had a cheeseburger and chocolate milkshake.
[Claire:] You didn't have any fries? I can't comprehend how you don't have any fries!
[Kath:] I had some of Roxy's.
[Claire:] Yeah but you, how can you not have your own?... When I go there
[Kath:] I wasn't, wasn't I wasn't hungry.
[Claire:] if I, if I've got limited cash
[Kath:] There were some peasants from they were all dicks! Some blokes that were just being real knobs. [sniff]
[Claire:] Yeah if I've got... a small amount of money
[Kath:] [cough]
[Claire:] then I'll have, under two p er under two fifty then I'll have
[Kath:] Yeah.
[Claire:] a cheeseburger...
[Kath:] Fries.
[Claire:] medium fries and a small Diet Coke
[Kath:] Small Diet Coke yeah.
[Claire:] and then if I've got a fiver I'll have quarterpounder with cheese
[Kath:] Siobhan had a bloody MacDonalds tonight.
[Claire:] Yeah she had it brought back for her didn't she?
[Kath:] Yeah.
[Claire:] And erm... no I'll have a quarterpounder with cheese, large fries and a large vanilla milkshake
[Kath:] Just
[Claire:] and a apple pie [sigh] apple pies are just so yu I've got to have a
[Kath:] I've never ever had one ever.
[Claire:] I really want to try a ch a MacChicken Sandwich.
[Kath:] They're gorgeous.
[Claire:] Are they really nice?
[Kath:] Really nice.
[Claire:] I'm gonna buy, next time I go to MacDonalds when I'm at home I'm gonna get... quarterpounder cheese a MacChicken Sandwich, large fries and... and a
[Kath:] Just completely binge, might as well, yeah.
[Claire:] Yeah basically I'm gonna do it on a, on a Saturday night or something.
[Kath:] Ha pow!
[Claire:] ... Have you decided what to have for your party yet?
[Kath:] No I don't know.
[Claire:] Have you told anyone about it yet?
[Kath:] No.
[Claire:] You're crap, I think I'm gonna have to start asking people.
[Kath:] No. I fancy Callum.
[Claire:] Do you?
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] He's a moody boy, you don't want to
[Kath:] No....
[Claire:] Changeable as the weather I'd say.
[Kath:] Mm?
[Claire:] He's as changeable as the weather.
[Kath:] Who me?
[Claire:] No Callum.
[Kath:] Oh. Yeah. Well I think... mm
[Claire:] Yeah he's the kind of person you fancy then you think no, I don't know, no
[Kath:] I don't... it's just such a dilemma.... I do actually quite fancy... I don't want to but I do.... I really do.... No you're just so good.
[Claire:] left hand and a fist.
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] Mm.
[Claire:] Keep thinking my wedding ring
[Kath:] Are you doing step aerobics tomorrow?
[Claire:] No way!
[Kath:] I c I was going to and then erm me and Roxy have got to do our French oral.
[Claire:] I really felt like going to MacDonalds, I might get, if Helen goes down to Hertford I'm gonna get her to get me a MacDonalds.
[Kath:] Yeah me too. Actually I don't think I can afford it if I'm going to
[Claire:] If I've got enough money. No I'm not, I'm going to
[Kath:] no if I'm going to the pub on Saturday and I'm going to the Galleria on
[Claire:] Sunday.
[Kath:] Sunday
[Claire:] How are you getting to the Galleria?
[Kath:] I don't know yet.
[Claire:] Cost you loads by taxi.
[Kath:] I know.... I've got twelve quid for the week, I've got
[Claire:] I mean we, we'll give you, I mean I'll
[Kath:] twelve quid for the weekend.
[Claire:] You'll never get for that will you?
[Kath:] No. Well Siobhan might be able to give me a lift, me and
[Claire:] There?
[Kath:] Roxy a lift, yeah. And I don't know how the fuck we're gonna get back.
[Claire:] Well it depends
[Kath:] I could always phone up my mum and get [LAUGHTER] can you pick me up [LAUGHTER] from the Galleria and take me back to Haileybury please [].
[Claire:] And she'll go no.
[Kath:] You reckon?... Dunno, I might ask my dad cos he'll probably take us back to the pub [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] [LAUGHTER] Your dad's so funny.
[Kath:] I know. We did ever such a sly one, me and Roxy... erm Kath erm where's the loo, oh just round here, do you want me to come with you, yeah okay
[Claire:] I was g I had to talk to your dad when you weren't there... felt such a dick.
[Kath:] We were having a sly fag in the ladies. I thought oh my God, my God, my God he's gonna smell it on me. He knows I smoke anyway so it's not a prob... well not really anyway.
[Claire:] He must know.
[Kath:] I know he knows. We were having a massive a er conversation the other night... about smoking, he was going oh well you know, you smoking are you, I went why, he goes oh we found, found a box of matches in your er top I went oh no no no, it's just for, for the joss sticks, yeah. He went yeah alright. [LAUGHTER] I mean I've, I've smoked... cos I was in France with him last year erm sitting at the erm dinner table smoking a cigar with him and my uncle
[Claire:] Urgh!
[Kath:] I like cigars.
[Claire:] Rough.
[Kath:] Only the thin ones, the massive chunky ones are rough.
[Claire:] I was t I was telling about my mum today, I was telling her, him about Spain and stuff it was so funny. He was going what, your mum is mental.
[Kath:] Your mum is mad, I'm sorry but she is.
[Claire:] My mum is cool, I love my mum.
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] It's three D day tomorrow
[Kath:] Shit I haven't got my shades. My shades man! Can I
[Claire:] borrow my
[Kath:] can I borrow them?
[Claire:] You can share them with me, yes.
[Kath:] Have to watch things jump
[Claire:] It's really odd I don't understand Si at all I decided, to jump back to that
[Kath:] What do you mean?
[Claire:] conversation. He's going on about damn baths at the moment.
[Kath:] Baths?
[Claire:] Yes.
[Kath:] Only cos he wants to... have you in a bath.
[Claire:] I don't want to... be in a bath with him, imagine, well how embarrassing [LAUGHTER] it would be the worst thing.
[Kath:] Why?
[Claire:] Cos you're so self conscious of your body.
[Kath:] So? You shouldn't be.
[Claire:] I should you know.
[Kath:] Why?
[Claire:] I hate my body. It's rough.
[Kath:] Bollocks.
[Claire:] I do!
[Kath:] Thin love.
[Claire:] I'm not.... I wish.... I'm wearing me skirt tomorrow.... But my bloody green jumper's all got
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] and I've never washed it hand wash it.
[Kath:] Flid!
[Claire:] Fuck off.
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] You can bung it in the wool cycle... just do that.
[Claire:] Yeah but I'm crap. Oh God what have I got first thing tomorrow? What have you got?
[Kath:] I've got double out, I can sleep
[Claire:] Cos I've got double geography.
[Kath:] I can sleep till ten twenty five.
[Claire:] Yeah but you've gotta get up for breakfast.
[Kath:] Oh shit! I forgot about that.
[Claire:] That's what I had to do this morning
[Kath:] [shouting] Fuck [].
[Claire:] when I had double out as well. So if I went to talk to Jess
[Kath:] No that's not fair!
[Claire:] Well don't worry, at least you can have some food and you won't be hungry in the double out....
[Kath:] So I don't care I don't want any food....
[Claire:] Tt toughie.
[Kath:] Toughie!
[Claire:] I want some Diet Coke, I want to get a massive thing of Diet Coke. Next term I'm gonna bring like enough Coke to cover the underneath of my bed so I can just not eat, just drink loads and loads and loads and loads and loads of Diet Coke... so I can get thin.
[Kath:] Mm just like me....
[Claire:] What, you're drinking loads and loads of Diet Coke?
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] Oh. I'm going to be on a diet all, all Christmas holidays... apart from Christmas day.
[Kath:] You'll be anorexic [LAUGHTER] []
[Claire:] I won't....
[Kath:] I would be if I did that, if I just didn't eat.
[Claire:] I'm gonna I'm gonna do what I did two s er two Easters ago....
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] I was bloody impressed when I was losing a stone and a half in... in four weeks.
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] Bloody pleased if I could do that again but I won't be able to cos I've got Christmas day... put back it all on on Christmas day.
[Kath:] I lost weight during Christmas sometimes.
[Claire:] I'm going to try and lose half a stone in the Christmas holiday.
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] Half a stone to a stone. My sister's lost
[Kath:] If I did that
[Claire:] a stone at the moment
[Kath:] She's really thin.
[Claire:] Well look at my mum then.
[Kath:] Your mum's bloody thin [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] anorexic, I thought my mum was anorexic when I went home the other day.... Not the other day, when I went home... for Easter last year
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] she kept running out of the room and being sick and everything... so I thought
[Kath:] Bulimia.
[Claire:] when we were having a meal and I was thinking... that's nice!
[Kath:] What?
[Claire:] How pleasant, mum's being sick everywhere. I said erm is there a problem? [LAUGHTER] [vomiting noise] No. Not a problem.
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] I'll just break down in tears on your birthday, it isn't a problem
[Kath:] What?
[Claire:] Nothing, just murmuring.
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] Is this enough yet?
[Kath:] No.
[Claire:] No. How much have you done?...
[Kath:] Bit.... Yeah, I'm going to bed, I'm tired, I need some beauty sleep darling.
[Claire:] What are you, are you doing as much of this as you can?...
[Kath:] [whispering] []
[Claire:] How long is a side? I mean half a side.
[Kath:] I dunno.
[Claire:] About half an hour? [singing] I'm jam hot []... don't record me singing.
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] Wouldn't be very pleasant.... Have to get some more posters.
[Kath:] Yeah.
[Claire:] Have to do that bit there and that bit there... and then the ceiling.
[Kath:] Oh yeah, get the ceiling. Put mirrors on there, you know [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] Yeah, yeah that's right.
[Kath:] Urgh rough
[Claire:] No cos erm I was, I was saying, I was saying ages ago that
[Kath:] I had such a weird dream last night
[Claire:] Oh yes.
[Kath:] Sorry, just interrupting you
[Claire:] Yeah it's okay. What, what was it?
[Kath:] it was such a fucking odd dream. Okay I was sitting on the bench erm at the pavilion
[Claire:] Mm.
[Kath:] and Jim was lawnmowing and you were doing hard labour with Matt
[Claire:] Oh yes you told me this... that I was doing hard labour and he said I was building the building.
[Kath:] Mm with the builders. Fucking weird. What were you saying?
[Claire:] I can't remember now.
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] Oh yes I was talking about baths wasn't I? Before
[Kath:] Yeah.
[Claire:] and then... and then I was going yeah I really want to take, I'll have to take my stereo home and he goes yeah your stereo's quite big isn't it, I went... when have you seen my stereo and he goes oh I came up the other day to see if you were in. I went... why [LAUGHTER] why, he said I just came round to your room and you weren't there but your music was on. I went yeah I was probably di dead on the bed or something, I'm always asleep, he goes no, no
[Kath:] What a bizarre boy. [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] like okay then
[Kath:] Oh gawld, prep was just such a nightmare tonight.... Urgh they were being really perverse. Worse than usual. Going through all the blokes I've got off with at home I bet.
[Claire:] Did you want, did they go through all of them, did they get all of them?
[Kath:] No they got erm tt they got most of them.
[Claire:] Who didn't they get?
[Kath:] Tt they didn't get... five....
[Claire:] Let me guess them....
[Kath:] Yeah they didn't get him.
[Claire:] Er...
[Kath:] Rob they didn't get.
[Claire:] Rob erm Nick
[Kath:] or
[Claire:] or Nick Nick and Nick
[Kath:] That's it.
[Claire:] and
[Kath:] Oh yeah. The obscure ones.... The first one they got was erm
[Claire:] Why do they think I'm pale?
[Kath:] I don't know. They just go oh who are the pretty ones and erm they get oh... erm Sarah and Claire and Lizzie and then Marcus goes yeah but she's a bit pale, I went... so? And then they were being really gross like going oh but you know we, we... we fancy you, I was going
[Claire:] So oh that's nice of them. That's just like... oh but she's a bit pale... [LAUGHTER] nice, thanks [].... Say from me, next time you take prep, say well Lizzie's going to get a tan now. [LAUGHTER]
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] She's gonna go and slap on the fake tan
[Kath:] Oh my God they were being really disgusting, okay, they were going... erm oh house entertainment... I went yeah and they go... we, we want you to do a striptease. I went [LAUGHTER] that's nice [] and they, and they were going erm er yeah down to the bare, bare essentials, I went oh yes what's that erm T-shirt? No no... completely stripped, I went... right, cos I would do that [LAUGHTER] yeah [] and they were going oh actually no erm stockings and... and erm
[Claire:] Suspenders.
[Kath:] yeah an and bra and G-string I went... right [LAUGHTER] right, then I said oh by the way I'm not erm I'm not doing house swimming this year, I'm not going to give you the, the pleasure... yeah [LAUGHTER] right [] and they were going oh no you have to do it, you have to do it, I was going... [shouting] yeah right cos I do actually want that again [] like last year it was just such a nightmare....
[Claire:] Oh no way do I want to take that there's only three people in my house though.
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] Then again in my house as well.
[Kath:] I'm not doing it cos I mean there are, there are s four new lower sixth so they can bloody swim.... I'll sort it out if they like but I'm not swimming again.
[Claire:] No there's... Jess, she'll swim
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] there's Tessa
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] and
[Kath:] Tessa is it?
[Claire:] Yeah. She's really sweet
[Kath:] I didn't know she was in Melbourne.
[Claire:] she's really sweet.
[Kath:] Yeah she's nice.
[Claire:] And there's another one...
[Kath:] She got busted with er... didn't you know? She got
[Claire:] No.
[Kath:] busted for smoking in one of the loos.
[Claire:] Oh poor girl.
[Kath:] She was smoking in the bathroom with Rachel and Hattie.
[Claire:] I thought it was just Rachel and Hattie.
[Kath:] No Tessa was in there as well.
[Claire:] Oh.
[Kath:] Mrs was really surprised when she saw Tessa in there.... It was quite funny.
[Claire:] For God's sake. Ali really scared me today
[Kath:] Why?
[Claire:] Cos she goes, she was going oh and I didn't know the UCCA forms [yawn] had to go to the master and I thought
[Kath:] I overheard that this afternoon, I didn't think that was
[Claire:] Yeah I didn't know that at all and erm she said, she goes, I went oh but he doesn't know anything, how would he, he wouldn't even know who I am, he wouldn't... you know, how can he tell if 's writing a fair report
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] she goes oh she d he does know you, he does know everyone.
[Kath:] Bollocks.
[Claire:] I went rubbish cos he came and said to me the other day oh so how are you enjoying your first term...
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] Oh good [].
[Claire:] I thought yeah, that's right.
[Kath:] Actually I've been here a year.
[Claire:] Exactly..... And... erm she goes oh sh he knows your reputation, I mean he not, maybe not by face but... erm but he'll know you, you know, just, he'll know your reputation or by who you hang around with, I went I've never done
[Kath:] Oh good!
[Claire:] I've never done anything wrong how can I, how can he know me? And she goes oh well just by the people you hang around with.
[Kath:] Oh! Right okay erm who do you hang around with?... Ah! [LAUGHTER] Erm Luke, Callum, Tom...
[Claire:] Sarah and Rachel.
[Kath:] Mm....
[Claire:] Er...
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] It was really weird erm... Si was saying about, and he was going oh it, it's gonna be really odd in the summer term to see how Luke reacts when, I mean cos Andy's not there at cricket
[Kath:] Yeah. Weird.
[Claire:] I remember watching the cricket last year
[Kath:] So do I.
[Claire:] just so cool.
[Kath:] So
[Claire:] Who was in the cricket last year? There was Phil, Luke
[Kath:] Si
[Claire:] Si, Andy Dave
[Kath:] Giles...
[Claire:] Giles,
[Kath:] Rob
[Claire:] Rob...
[Kath:] Charlie?
[Claire:] No.
[Kath:] No. Prem
[Claire:] I just said Prem
[Kath:] Oh yeah. Erm...
[Claire:] Oh what's his name erm him, wasn't he in it?
[Kath:] Oh Mark yeah.
[Claire:] Mm.... And there's that bloke in the fifths that was in it, oh not the fifths
[Kath:] There was someone Middle or something
[Claire:] Middle
[Kath:] wonder bowler
[Claire:] Yeah, and he was in it, okay that's fi that's ten, how many are there in a cricket team?
[Kath:] Eleven I think. Dunno.
[Claire:] And there was one more upper sixth I think.
[Kath:] Yeah.
[Claire:] Don't know who it was.
[Kath:] Oh wasn't it erm Charlie or something? Some bloke from Colvern.
[Claire:] Charlie? Who the hell is he?... Was he?
[Kath:] Some rough bloke who was going out with Katie.
[Claire:] Who was Katie?
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] God! Upper sixth last year.
[Claire:] What did she look like.
[Kath:] She was in Lawrence.
[Claire:] That helps.
[Kath:] Not very attractive.... Erm erm brown hair, quite long... average figure... no you don't know
[Claire:] Pretty?
[Kath:] Not really....
[Claire:] [LAUGHTER] Who is she []?
[Kath:] It's not a problem, I'll show you a photo.
[Claire:] This is gonna really fuck me up....
[Kath:] Er dunno.
[Claire:] Who was, okay, I can't remember anyone now.
[Kath:] Well you must be able to remember Tessa.
[Claire:] Tessa loves us.
[Kath:] She loves me, love.
[Claire:] Mm.
[Kath:] She loves me.
[Claire:] Annabel.
[Kath:] Annabel loves me as well funnily enough.
[Claire:] Sam
[Kath:] Yeah. Lucy
[Claire:] Lucy
[Kath:] Erm...
[Claire:] Erm... shit I can't remember anyone.... Er... oh God what's her face
[Kath:] Who?...
[Claire:] No [LAUGHTER] she's []
[Kath:] Heather
[Claire:] Who's Heather? I've never, never
[Kath:] Jo, Jo
[Claire:] Jo yes, I never found out who Heather was. Was she quite chubby?
[Kath:] Yeah.
[Claire:] Chubby, chubby.
[Kath:] Ginger haired
[Claire:] Oh erm... oh God, what's her name... er Becky... Becky rough bitch.
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] Who []?
[Claire:] [LAUGHTER] What's her name []! She cut her hair to about, to about there but it was once down, right down here
[Kath:] You've lost me totally.
[Claire:] curly blonde oh shit
[Kath:] Blonde?
[Claire:] Not blonde,n not blonde blonde but... sort of
[Kath:] Oh!
[Claire:] lighter than yours but not blonde. Erm [shouting] oh [] it's gonna really fuck me up. She's really annoying and she was a real tart and she
[Kath:] Philippa?
[Claire:] That's the one. [LAUGHTER] Erm
[Kath:] Her and Harry
[Claire:] When?...
[Kath:] Last term, they went out with each other. Si er no
[Claire:] Oh yeah.
[Kath:] not Si, Sal got off with her....
[Claire:] [shouting] When []?
[Kath:] he was going round going oh my God I got off with a real dog.
[Claire:] Yeah why did he get off with her?
[Kath:] I dunno it was a dare... I think.
[Claire:] I hate it, I al I always get really paranoid with people I get off with cos I always think it's a dare from someone.
[Kath:] Oh yeah, right!
[Claire:] I do I always think that.
[Kath:] for a dare
[Claire:] What?
[Kath:] Wouldn't get off with you for a dare.
[Claire:] Wouldn't get off with me anyway [LAUGHTER]
[Kath:] No cos you're just rough.
[Claire:] [LAUGHTER] [cough]... Four minutes.
[Kath:] Mm I'm going to bed then as soon as it hits twelve.
[Claire:] How much have you done now?... Have you got another half side yet?
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] Really? That's quite impressive.
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] We've been talking for about fifteen minutes.
[Kath:] Mm.
[Claire:] Wake up girl, who are you going to snog? Who are you going to snog on Saturday?
[Kath:] Tired. [shouting] I don't know [].
[Claire:] Snog Phil.
[Kath:] No I've done him already [LAUGHTER]
[Claire:] So?
[Kath:] done it, been there, got the T-shirt.
[Claire:] Got the video, got the fliers [yawn]
[Kath:] Mm. Don't know.
[Claire:] [yawning] Oh [] go for Phil.
[Kath:] I'll probably end up snogging with him at my party. [sniff] Jim snogging at my party I said yeah probably.
[Claire:] Yeah well party
[Kath:] I am, it's gonna be a massive orgy.... everything planned, the dodgy cocktails
[Claire:] Oh it's so irritating,
[Kath:] Did I tell you about the cocktail that Sal told me called erm
[Claire:] Oh you did tell me that.
[Kath:] after birth and test tube baby.... Urgh rough. Sounds really nice though, Baileys, Tequila
[Claire:] I can imagine, I can just imagine it.
[Kath:] Grenadine....
[Claire:] Grenadine.
[Kath:] Well you just mix it together, it looks like something's floating in some clear a clear water, really rough... and you just knock it back. What was the other one? Slow comfortable screw erm sex on a beach
[Claire:] Sex on a beach,
[Kath:] behind the wall or something
[Claire:] Yeah.
[Kath:] erm gang bang, no kamik yeah kamikaze
[Claire:] Gang bang, kamikaze erm rusty nail
[Kath:] Oh yeah? Sit on that eh....
[Claire:] erm
[Kath:] Anything else?
[Claire:] there's another one, I can't remember what it's called, zombie
[Kath:] Mm.... They sound really yummy as well.
[Claire:] and daiquiri.
[Kath:] What's that?
[Claire:] It's lush.
[Kath:] What is it?
[Claire:] It's... it is absolutely gorgeous, it just tastes like bananas, you don't taste, it's like banana milkshake but you don't taste
[Kath:] Has it got any alcohol in it?
[Claire:] yeah loads but you just don't taste it
[Kath:] Oh.
[Claire:] and you just like [slurping noises]
[Kath:] How's it go?
[Claire:] [slurping noises]
[Kath:] Yeah right....
[Claire:] Erm no it's got, it's got red and white something in it.
[Kath:] Red and white stuff, yeah?
[Claire:] I've forgotten what it's called.
[Kath:] [cough] grenadine? [cough] Grenadine?
[Claire:] No I can't remember... I've got a nose cold.
[Kath:] Mm I've got, I've had a bloody cold for fucking ages. [sniff] That's why I said
[Claire:] I know you should've stayed at home till the beginning of this week.
[Kath:] Yeah.
[Claire:] I would have really loved it, I'm
[Kath:] My throat is still fucked.
[Claire:] Is it really painful?
[Kath:] No I just sound like a bloke....
[Claire:] Oh bunny... you'll be alright sweetheart
[Kath:] Yes.
[Claire:] you'll probably get another offer tomorrow.
[Kath:] I haven't even sent off my fucker form yet.
[Claire:] [LAUGHTER] Fucker form... I've heard it called [].
[Kath:] ... all it is it's such a shit.... Especially that further information bit, you've just gotta say how wondyfu wonderful you are
[Claire:] Wondyful.
[Kath:] wondyful. I got my colours.
[Claire:] Oh no I didn't.
[Kath:] Yes you did, you got it for
[Claire:] When?
[Kath:] I saw it on the board this morning.
[Claire:] Well I haven't looked at the board for a week
[Kath:] You've got a you've got colours.
[Claire:] Who's got colours?
[Kath:] All of the upper sixth have got them. Well not all but I mean Laura, Sarah, Rachel... erm you and
[Claire:] Jenny?
[Kath:] Jenny... people like that, dunno. And I've got, I've got my colours for netball and Roxy has and Katrina from... the lower sixth are getting theirs in February.
[Claire:] Oh that's good. Cos then it will be good.
[Kath:] We get priority and then they've got hockey colours as well like Kay and...
[Claire:] Ali?
[Kath:] Ali erm
[Claire:] ?
[Kath:] Sal, I dunno I haven't looked at it all.... There are loads of colours
[Claire:] [yawning] []
[Kath:] Yes I'm going to bed.
[Claire:] [yawning] [] great.
[Kath:] What?
[Claire:] The people are wonderful.
[Kath:] So, so are netball.
[Claire:] No they're not.
[Kath:] Yes we are.
[Claire:] Crap.
[Kath:] We're lovely.
[Claire:] No you're not.
[Kath:] Yes we are.
[Claire:] Crap.
[Kath:] Anyway I'm gonna go.
[Claire:] Okay.... Right, signing off. Bye.
[Kath:] [LAUGHTER] Er yeah that's right yeah alright [].
[Claire:] Oh shut up.