[Arthur:] What's the kettle for?
[speaker002:] Erm I'm not, well I was boiling it for this
[Arthur:] What?
[speaker002:] thing, did you want it?
[Arthur:] No, no
[speaker002:] No, I'm just, I'm just using it I'll knock it off now
[speaker003:] ... You wanting to vacuum that for me... oh shush up Paul...
[Arthur:] Come on Paul get a move on
[Paul:] I'm a zombie
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] I'm a zombie
[Arthur:] Oh come on stop this stop it... what's the matter?
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] That's a good way of breaking your neck that... er stop it, just get up, turn round, turn round...
[Paul:] Whoever put this plant on the stairs
[Arthur:] Yeah, whoever put this plant on the stairs didn't realize that we've got silly people like you in the house
[Paul:] But it, it keeps on falling over
[Arthur:] whoever's put that plant on the stairs doesn't realize we've got silly people like you in the house, just have a look
[speaker002:] Oh you silly
[Arthur:] no just look
[speaker002:] I can see what he's doing
[Arthur:] he's being a zombie, so he's coming downstairs with two sleeping bags over the top of his head and knocking everything over, just look at it
[speaker002:] Well he can vacuum up again
[Arthur:] He can do the lot... and he can grow up as well, fifteen and he's be playing at being zombies
[speaker002:] get that from up here... now do you want me to clean out the chicken?... I said do you want me to do the chicken?
[Paula:] Yeah, alright then
[speaker002:] Er I'll do it
[Paula:] er that's not got any giblets in
[speaker002:] Do you want, do you want
[Paula:] have you got an onion for it? In here...
[Arthur:] Here there you are poppet.
[speaker002:] Oh yes please I
[speaker003:] ......
[Arthur:] Are you going to the hospital this morning?
[speaker002:] No
[Arthur:] Well if you do it'll give us a chance to find out whether he's coming home today or tomorrow, and it'll give your mum a chance to get back to Southwold
[speaker002:] Isn't it likely that he is coming back?
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[speaker002:] Is, isn't it likely he'll
[Arthur:] Well, we don't know till we're told do we?
[speaker002:] I think you could find that out over the phone
[Paula:] I don't think so
[speaker002:] for any news
[Paula:] I don't think so
[Arthur:] pardon? Do they always smell those things?...
[speaker002:] Did he think so last night?
[Paula:] No
[Arthur:] No it's not that, what I'm thinking is, if he's coming out tomorrow...
[Paula:] And he's got to
[Arthur:] you'll need to get back to the bungalow
[speaker002:] I will
[Arthur:] to sort things out won't you?
[speaker002:] I will, keep him
[Arthur:] so the more time you've got to do that, the easier it'll be for you won't it?
[speaker002:] Oh yes
[Arthur:] How many sugars do you have in coffee is it one? Do you have one sugar in coffee?
[speaker002:] I'll just ring up and, and see
[Paula:] The only trouble is Arthur the trouble is, there
[speaker002:] you get more
[Paula:] is, how do we get Philip back?
[speaker002:] Oh no, well I can walk
[Paula:] get him back and... can he drive your car on your insurance?
[speaker002:] Yeah your insurance
[Arthur:] Me? No, well I can, but it's only third party fire and theft then, just hope the fully comp goes, can you get some milk please?
[Paula:] I think it's different milk
[Arthur:] It's not is it?
[Paula:] you know where the other one is, it's still at the front door
[speaker002:] So what do you suggest Arthur?
[Arthur:] Well, the sooner we know what's going to happen if he's going to come out, they'll be coming out, well it's Thursday today, yeah, so be coming out Friday, yeah?
[speaker002:] Yeah did, did
[Arthur:] They won't send him out Saturday or Sunday
[speaker002:] They did they sent people out Saturday and Sunday
[Paula:] Oh they sent people out Saturday and Sunday
[Arthur:] Did they?
[Paula:] they did Arthur
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] I thought they kept them in over
[Paula:] No they sent them out Saturday, Sunday
[speaker002:] The only thing is Arthur that the, it's Philip, can you grab his car? Or not
[Arthur:] Well I'll check on my insurance
[speaker002:] If you can drive his car over I get it, it's no problem, it seems we might all be talking above ourselves
[Arthur:] Yeah, as soon as we know something we can start making decisions can't we? Otherwise we're, we're in no man's land...
[speaker002:] Was he saying Mr in there
[Arthur:] Mr round this morning yeah
[speaker002:] Oh well they, they, give them time, it won't be till
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] he won't of been round
[Arthur:] it's half past ten
[speaker002:] he won't of been round yet
[Arthur:] how d'ya mean, nine o'clock, hour and a half
[speaker002:] yeah I suppose
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] mm... Paul
[Paul:] Yeah
[Arthur:] that plant, those stairs
[Paula:] [phonecall starts] Hello er how's Mr?
[Arthur:] get out of there and get it done
[Paula:] Has he had the results of his second biopsy through? He still hasn't had it through, cos we were... yes, yes, big improvement, it was just that we were arranging visiting and things like that and er whether there's any need to do certain things, so er, but he's still on a, he's come off all his painkillers... his morphine's out completely, that's fantastic isn't it?... Yeah and he's, but it is quite difficult to kind of withdraw isn't it... oh not know, oh that's super, well... oh I thought it was quite difficult to withdraw from... no [LAUGHTER] never used it to kick, lord no [] yes that's lovely, now we can organise our day, right, thank you very much indeed, right thanks a lot, bye, bye [phonecall ends]. Good news
[Arthur:] He's off his painkillers
[Paula:] he's off his morphine completely
[speaker002:] Good
[Paula:] how about that?
[speaker002:] How about that?
[Paula:] Beautiful
[Arthur:] Well that's good because it means that
[Paula:] beautiful
[Arthur:] whatever it was, isn't hurting him any more
[speaker002:] True
[Arthur:] so
[speaker002:] so
[Paula:] it's a step in the right light
[Arthur:] it's, I think it's another step, I think that's a, an enormous stride [LAUGHTER]
[Paula:] Oh, I
[Paul:] It look like it's all clear then doesn't it? I mean
[Arthur:] Ah, well
[Paul:] the painkillers, you, they'd have to
[Arthur:] I think it would be, it'll come as it comes a hell of a shock now I think it was
[Paula:] put that champagne in that fridge
[Paul:] I don't know
[Paula:] oh honestly
[Arthur:] Yeah, put it in the fridge
[speaker002:] Paula all this anxiety [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] All these painkillers
[speaker002:] all this drainage
[Arthur:] Going to the toilet as well normally yesterday he said
[speaker002:] Really?
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Oh isn't it wonderful
[Arthur:] brilliant, don't drop it
[speaker002:] it is, it is a miracle that
[Paul:] I'll just brush the dust off
[Arthur:] Yeah we've had a, we've had a plant over, we don't want the champagne over
[speaker002:] Oh I don't want to be silly it's just a miracle... oh God, it's normally thirty seconds that's enough Are you putting er pieces of bacon on?
[Paula:] Not at the beginning
[speaker002:] Oh you don't put it until the end?
[Arthur:] No because it goes, it goes too hard
[speaker002:] I put that onion there
[Paula:] I've got it in
[speaker002:] You've got it in, have you got your
[Arthur:] I can smell something
[speaker002:] Oh thank God
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Off his painkillers, my God
[speaker002:] Here don't forget these
[Paula:] What you doing?
[speaker002:] I take that off
[Paula:] Yeah, but that belongs to chicken shape together
[speaker002:] Oh you keep yours, yours on ah, you sure the giblets out it
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paula:] Mother
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paula:] look on the packaging it says without giblets
[speaker002:] I always check it
[Arthur:] She always cooks it in the plastic bag though
[speaker002:] No I, what I do is I test it, I clean it out even though they've done it
[Arthur:] It's been washed out
[speaker002:] because they leave bits in the
[Arthur:] haven't you watched her doing it
[speaker002:] Ah?
[Arthur:] this morning, have you seen Paula doing it this morning? She's been cleaning it out
[speaker002:] I've seen
[Arthur:] It's alright, she won't let you catch anything
[speaker002:] no but I say, but surely sometimes they, they have left them behind you know
[Arthur:] Oh
[speaker002:] Are we using these love?
[Paula:] Yes if you put the
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Paula:] put the peelings in the cupboard and then
[Arthur:] for the guinea pigs... let's go and see how Paul's doing.
[speaker002:] Oh is that it
[Arthur:] It's brilliant news... I think he's gonna be home very, very soon now
[Paula:] Yeah I'll get a
[Arthur:] very soon
[speaker002:] If a, if he, if it was the was a possibility
[Arthur:] Once this biopsy's cleared, he's off his painkillers, they, they were his big drugs weren't they?
[speaker002:] Yes
[Arthur:] They've got, they've got his bowels going
[speaker002:] he might be home the weekend
[Arthur:] Well I think
[speaker002:] it's possible
[Arthur:] he might be home tomorrow you know
[speaker002:] No, I think they'll have to get
[Arthur:] well that's today, once, once they've cleared that
[speaker002:] Yeah, well
[Arthur:] is there any need then to keep him in?
[speaker002:] Oh no... oh no... oh no they'll decide I mean Mr will know, they'll know what they're doing, I mean they know what they're doing, I don't know what they're doing, I'm not a doctor, I'm not God, nothing
[Arthur:] yeah how many times has he, has he done this to us now? Over the years [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Don't tell me Arthur I go through all these panic stations and
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] and life's one big trauma with him
[Arthur:] Keeps you on his toes
[speaker002:] That was the week when Peter came that day when they had that very, very ill
[Paula:] no you, I don't use a pan you use a
[speaker002:] and Peter came in the morning, I never thought anything I'd been listening to the radio, I heard there was a big accident on the road, a car accident
[Arthur:] Mm.
[speaker002:] on the road
[Paula:] It'll just go in there
[speaker002:] Peter came in and it, nothing sunk, er, nothing sunk, I'm doing these
[Arthur:] well I'll give you a hand, give you a hand
[speaker002:] er nothing sunk that there was something the matter
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and Peter walks in and Andrew said to him do you want a coffee Peter? He said yes Mrs well then he followed me in the kitchen, stood behind me and I thought what the hell's he hanging about for, I'm gonna take it to him and the, his son- in-law was there
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and he stood in the kitchen but he said nothing
[Arthur:] His son was there you said
[speaker002:] His son was with him cos they, I mean
[Arthur:] Who is Peter?
[speaker002:] One of the fellows that used to do contract work
[Arthur:] mm
[speaker002:] and it's, John... what happen was he finished, I'll have a bowl this side, a pile this side where they're
[Arthur:] I can do, I can cope with that, you're alright, here
[speaker002:] He stood there, no I don't mean that, I mean me rubbish, oh dear, and he said erm... er, sorry, he started sipping his coffee, he never said anything and then he says I've got some bad news for you and I said oh my God no, car accident, I just heard it on the radio... he said no, then he told me, oh God I nearly
[Arthur:] What, what, what was that one then?
[speaker002:] That was when he was buried in that lime at
[Arthur:] Oh in the
[speaker002:] in the
[Arthur:] How many men were buried in that with him though?
[speaker002:] They still haven't got their compensation, the fellows that were really injured, the chap that lost his eyes, was
[Arthur:] Lost his what? His, his eyes?
[speaker002:] His eyesight, a young fellow they still haven't
[Arthur:] How young was he?
[speaker002:] Well, well, he, he, with a young family, wasn't he
[Arthur:] In his thirties?
[speaker002:] No, a bit older
[Arthur:] Forties
[speaker002:] Yeah, he's got
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] a young family like yours
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and er
[Arthur:] How, low long ago is it then, the, the accident?
[speaker002:] It's nearly three years, but you see
[Arthur:] Three years
[speaker002:] oh it's been more
[Arthur:] it's more than three years
[speaker002:] it's more
[Arthur:] you've been down here two haven't you?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] So
[speaker002:] more than that
[Arthur:] I bet it's, no, I bet it's more than that
[speaker002:] and er
[Arthur:] and they haven't had the compensation yet?
[speaker002:] No
[Arthur:] None of them?
[speaker002:] No
[Arthur:] Did father get any compensation?
[speaker002:] Oh he didn't apply, he never, must admit
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] nothing wrong with me
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] not much []
[speaker002:] I'm alright
[Arthur:] not much
[speaker002:] I'm alright [LAUGHTER] I'm alright that's what I said to him you silly bugger you should of applied, even if you didn't
[Arthur:] Oh no, no, if he's fit, you shouldn't of
[speaker002:] Well then
[Arthur:] no, come on
[speaker002:] how do you know that this isn't the result of concrete in his phlegm and lung
[Arthur:] No it was lime not concrete
[speaker002:] Oh whatever it was, anyway nothing matter with him
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] so
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] anyway, it, it, what happened was that, you see the Irish... it was a funny set-up because the Irish people were responsible for the erection of the, and the supply of everything, well they've gone out of
[Arthur:] Irish?
[speaker002:] The
[Arthur:] The
[speaker002:] Irish
[Arthur:] Which Irish, is that a company or something?
[speaker002:] They were called
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Oh
[speaker002:] and ha, they were the ones that did the design and everything you see
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and then they computer people, and it, both the firms have gone bust, and each one was suing from the other for, er, insurance
[Arthur:] Oh yes, yeah
[speaker002:] and the insurance won't pay, won't pay out the claim
[Arthur:] Typical, yeah
[speaker002:] until took more responsibility because it was outside contractors you see
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] you understand
[Arthur:] But it was a take on site then or was it, what was it?
[speaker002:] The site belonged to, er,
[Arthur:] was it, it was the was it?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] redesigned with computerized site
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] so therefore the Irish people designed it and the Irish people gone bust and out of business
[Arthur:] Yeah, yeah
[speaker002:] the... the chap at the... at the computer place died
[Arthur:] Oh my God, hmm
[speaker002:] his partner
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] they were, they, his firm was folded up because, yeah it was a sudden death, he was only in his forties
[Arthur:] Oh my God
[speaker002:] and er, er that was a shock you see, because he, his partner then lent... mm went into liquidation, well whatever they do, I don't know
[Arthur:] Oh
[speaker002:] they went bust or something and they, cos his, and his wife was a partner, the chap's wife was one of the, one of the directors or partners
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] how they do it, you know, for er, for income tax and what have you, and of course one, one blamed the other
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and of course the insurance people would not pay out on either, wiped their hands of it because they reckoned it was nothing
[Arthur:] So did the Pontius Pilate bit yeah
[speaker002:] so consequently they're still fighting and the chap still hasn't got a penny
[Arthur:] And he's got no sight at all
[speaker002:] Yes
[Arthur:] or his
[speaker002:] he's got partial sight in one eye, have kept him on
[Arthur:] That's good of them
[speaker002:] Brilliant int it?
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Of course he can't do the job that he was doing and he'd got potential of the future with, you understand what I mean? His
[Arthur:] Promotion
[speaker002:] Yeah, well yeah, I mean his
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] his, he can't drive, he can't
[Arthur:] Yes, got
[speaker002:] his potential working potential
[Arthur:] When did your dad have that accident Paula at er, you know with the lime?
[Paula:] I don't know
[speaker002:] About four years ago
[Arthur:] Well, your, your mum's been down here two years hasn't she?
[speaker002:] It must be four, but you see daddy went to the
[Arthur:] I'll ask father
[speaker002:] Oh don't mention it he just er
[Paula:] I don't know why
[Arthur:] it was way back
[speaker002:] that's, that's one of the nightmares
[Arthur:] One of, they haven't paid any compensation out
[speaker002:] that's one of the nightmares he gets you know
[Arthur:] Still?
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] What being buried?
[speaker002:] when he came home
[Arthur:] Buried him alive
[speaker002:] oh you don't know what he was like when he was home, he was, I mean I've never seen daddy er sort of, occasionally cry and shaking
[Arthur:] What cover himself up?
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] What when he was asleep or when he was
[speaker002:] No, during the day
[Arthur:] During the day?
[speaker002:] Don't ever tell him, my God
[Arthur:] Oh my God, I didn't realize that
[speaker002:] he'd just sit in the chair, oh yeah, he used to sit and
[Arthur:] why don't er what cowing?
[speaker002:] you know he, he was, if he, that's, that's possibly one of the nightmare he's having that he doesn't
[Arthur:] That's possibly what?
[speaker002:] One of the nightmares he's having
[Arthur:] What when he's on the drugs, some of these painkillers?
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] He's get he's reliving this
[speaker002:] he's, he's you see, he
[Arthur:] this burying alive
[speaker002:] and he, of course that's what he does, you see him do it, oh yeah when daddy's not, it's
[Arthur:] It all comes back
[speaker002:] oh I, I mean, he sit inside, normally he'd have the present, he chucked his glasses off, he stuffed all his hankies, he had about ten hankies in his pocket
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] he filled all down his mouth and
[Arthur:] He stuffed them all down his mouth and his nose, all his hankies?
[speaker002:] Oh yeah to stop
[Arthur:] To stop the lime, the dust getting in, yeah
[speaker002:] That's why he got away without too much damage
[Arthur:] Ah
[speaker002:] cos you see
[Arthur:] and the others didn't?
[speaker002:] No, because he had the present, how quick thinking
[Arthur:] You could of copied that
[speaker002:] his quick thinking
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] so immediately he knew if that comes I choke, if that comes I'm blind
[Arthur:] But he did more than choke if he, if he inhaled erm, lime
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] it burns your lungs doesn't it?
[speaker002:] Well you see one of the l one of lads, naughty, he had to finish, but then he had a bad chest before
[Arthur:] Ha and that finished him off completely won't it?
[speaker002:] he panicked and they had a hell of a time with him because he panicked in there, in the hospital and there was a, going berserk and that... but you see daddy didn't, oh there's nothing in there, and he
[Arthur:] In the hospital?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] but when he came home then he
[Arthur:] the shock
[speaker002:] he was able to
[Arthur:] the shock hit him
[speaker002:] he was able to let it go
[Arthur:] But you know, when you said there's been no damage to him then, physical damage there hasn't has there? But psychological damage
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] I didn't, I didn't realize he was
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] he came home and he cowed
[speaker002:] Oh yeah, I mean I had a horrible time with him for some time and it just, just
[Arthur:] How long's that? A cou couple of weeks?
[speaker002:] A couple of weeks yeah and then he used to cry and he was like that and then he got it out of his system didn't he?
[Arthur:] God, I didn't realize this Paula
[Paula:] What?
[Arthur:] Your mum's telling
[speaker002:] Oh don't ever tell him
[Paula:] What?
[Arthur:] No, no, about your dad when he came home
[Paula:] Don't
[speaker002:] Don't ever tell him
[Arthur:] you know from dad's, when the lime went
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] be sitting in the chair wide awake and suddenly cowed and cover himself up
[speaker002:] That's suppose I think
[Arthur:] he's wide awake for no reason, crying for weeks afterwards
[Paula:] Oh I think, well he would do
[Arthur:] Why?
[speaker002:] It's like it's shock
[Arthur:] Did you, did you know it though?
[Paula:] No, but it would be shock
[speaker002:] It would be shock
[Paula:] if you'd been buried alive you think
[speaker002:] if you were buried alive, I mean, Uncle Nat when he used, when he was in, in... Uncle Nat when he was out in the war, he used to come back home and he'd only to hear a siren and he'd throw himself on the floor
[Arthur:] Oh yes, yes
[speaker002:] covered himself and, and fluff out, he was psychologically the war
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] and he, I mean er, he could, he would never showed nowt, because he was at, he had men in, he was in charge of men, like father, would never show it to them in hospital
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] but the minute he can come home
[Arthur:] And relax
[speaker002:] and release himself
[Arthur:] relax and release himself
[speaker002:] but, for some time he, and it, it just used to let him get it out of his system
[Arthur:] My God
[speaker002:] and say something
[Arthur:] I didn't know that
[speaker002:] I think when he was so near to death I thought bloody hell I bet it's that nightmare but I've not mentioned, don't mention it
[Arthur:] He keeps saying it's the same one
[speaker002:] don't mention it
[Arthur:] No I won't do
[speaker002:] cos it'll, it'll come out, he'll say to me Sunday when were at home
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] he'll say, you know that nightmare I keep having, it was that one, he will he'll say, and I'll say to him well
[Arthur:] Same one, same one coming back
[speaker002:] if, because, he saw what was going on, in a split second he saw what was happening, I mean it was, it was when we found his glasses and that and things they were all buried and, and Peter said to me I've got this of John's, I brought Jonathan's, I couldn't care less as long as I've got John you know
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and er
[Arthur:] yeah
[speaker002:] he said, well, I know he's on about his glasses again ain't he?
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] But I think possibly as Philip said his drugs are affecting his eyesight, but then they'll need, he'll have to have them tested and, and then, because he was on yesterday about them again
[Arthur:] yeah, but your eyes are changing all the time, so you, you should go back and have them tested regularly shouldn't you?
[speaker002:] Oh yes, now, I get even get the woman to come up and
[Arthur:] Does he have to pay for it now?
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] Really?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] you see the trouble is Philip does, because he just... you don't tell me, unless you tell lies... you think... if you tell lies
[Arthur:] Then you can get it free
[speaker002:] you can get it free, but you don't
[Arthur:] You shouldn't have to pay anyway should you?
[speaker002:] but anyway
[Arthur:] Basic thing like your sight
[speaker002:] that doesn't mat listen
[Arthur:] Yeah, but, but
[speaker002:] as far as I'm concerned Arthur, John's more important to me than a bloody pair of glasses
[Arthur:] Oh yeah, yeah
[speaker002:] I mean, and it's the same with that business
[Arthur:] No, but it's
[speaker002:] he'll most probably come out with it when he gets
[Arthur:] Come out quietly, yeah
[speaker002:] Oh yeah he never says anything at all, till this happening and he'll say, he'll say, you know about the nightmare I had it was that one, oh I know I mean, but it, it was so I mean you, you have it, you be in a situation like that
[Arthur:] Oh yeah, I, but I didn't realize you know with him the old man, the toughy, yeah
[speaker002:] Yeah but if you, if you
[Arthur:] No but he, he does put out
[speaker002:] Oh yes he does
[Arthur:] out that air doesn't he, that sort of
[speaker002:] Yeah, but you don't sort of you don't let on
[Arthur:] nothing gets to me
[speaker002:] you don't let on, you don't, you just don't
[Arthur:] But he does do that doesn't he?
[speaker002:] He does say
[Arthur:] In everything
[speaker002:] Oh yeah, I mean that's it, he does, he just doesn't say I mean he, he just keeps it to himself
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and then he, you see he's got, at home he's got, he can release things cos there's nobody else around
[Arthur:] Mm, yeah
[speaker002:] you know, but that was a nightmare really, well I didn't, I won't be surprised if that isn't the one he's having
[Arthur:] Oh God, see what Paul's doing, if he's up...
[Paula:] I'm looking
[Arthur:] where's Paul?
[Paula:] Upstairs, still in the bath...
[Arthur:] doing what?
[Paula:] Ringing that order through
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker002:] Paula do you want anything else done love?
[Paula:] No that's it
[Arthur:] Is that f is that our lunch, dinner? What, is that for tonight or
[Paula:] Are we having it tonight?
[Arthur:] will we be having this?
[speaker002:] We'll have it for dinner
[Arthur:] We're having it hot
[Paula:] For dinner?
[speaker002:] For dinner
[Arthur:] Right... so if we get down to the hospital this afternoon
[Paula:] Well
[Arthur:] Mr would of seen him this morning
[Paula:] Yes
[Arthur:] so we'll get down this afternoon then, alright, fair enough... at least we know what we're doing now... Your bedroom's a tip.
[Anthony:] Yeah I know, I'm working oh God
[Arthur:] What you doing?
[Anthony:] Maths
[Arthur:] Maths, it looks like English
[Anthony:] Yeah, it's really notice you can change it, cos what it does is it, oh hell... you can edit the colours of everything so if, if you can't understand, cos sometimes it goes over itself, like grey means normal writing, yellow means bold and underlined and pink
[Arthur:] That's about your name at the top
[Anthony:] erm pur erm blue that
[Arthur:] yeah
[Anthony:] means italic
[Arthur:] italic, purple
[Anthony:] erm upper case
[Arthur:] upper case
[Anthony:] twelfth subscript
[Arthur:] Why doesn't it just, put it in upper case then?
[Anthony:] You can but it's, oops, you can, but
[Arthur:] Oh that's how it looks
[Anthony:] That's how it'll be
[Arthur:] that's more difficult to read then isn't it?
[Anthony:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Mind you, you've got all your enters in there haven't you?
[Anthony:] Yeah, er you can turn them off
[Arthur:] Yeah... and you've got all these what, what are those Ts at the side?
[Anthony:] That means you've got
[Arthur:] On the screen
[Anthony:] a tab stop
[Arthur:] You got what?
[Anthony:] A tab stop
[Arthur:] A tab stop, what does that do?
[Anthony:] in the, if I go down to
[Arthur:] what does it do a tab stop?
[Anthony:] You see, you see that there
[Arthur:] Ener yeah, energy yeah
[Anthony:] the big space after energy
[Arthur:] Right, yes
[Anthony:] it, it gets everything in line, see how they're all in line?
[Arthur:] Yeah
[Anthony:] Just hit that there and put a couple of spaces
[Arthur:] ad that's what the tab stop does?
[Anthony:] Yeah see them all the tab regardless of the, the length, like the one after iron will be a long one
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[Anthony:] and after calcium will be a short
[Arthur:] What about vitamin C? There isn't one
[Anthony:] There isn't one, I'll just put a space in
[Arthur:] and the one after fat, yes, yeah
[Anthony:] That's a long one
[Arthur:] yeah
[Anthony:] and it indicates you put one in cos sometimes it's confusing if you've put in a tab and you don't know what's
[Arthur:] What happens if you want to edit it and you've got tabs in, does it make it more difficult? Does it throw, throw things out of line?
[Anthony:] Yeah, yeah it can do if you forget, so it's handy if you have a T besides it's handy that
[Arthur:] Just to remember, remind you?
[Anthony:] Ah
[Arthur:] Does it print it?
[Anthony:] No, all these characters are not printed
[Arthur:] So can, can
[Anthony:] I think
[Arthur:] sorry can you have your tab stops on? You know like you can have your enters in
[Anthony:] Yeah
[Arthur:] but not showing your tabs, not showing those Ts, but there, can you put them on and off? On the screen
[Anthony:] Er, yeah, how'd you do it? Can't remember, erm that it?
[Arthur:] That's it, it's gone, yeah. Has it moved everything in? It looks different... oh press them again, put them in...
[Anthony:] Oh I thought I had
[Arthur:] Oh I, what have you done? There
[Anthony:] What have I done?
[Arthur:] I don't know it looks different doesn't it?
[Anthony:] I think I copied from the old lot of
[Arthur:] have you?
[Anthony:] No
[Arthur:] No, it just look different when you took them off
[Anthony:] Yeah it, it's
[speaker003:] ...
[Anthony:] Er alt, turns them on and off, yes it did, it does it then
[Arthur:] What turns them on and off?
[Anthony:] Alt F four
[Arthur:] Alt F four, yeah
[Anthony:] What's happened to it
[Arthur:] I don't know Tony
[Anthony:] they've disappeared
[Arthur:] Yeah [LAUGHTER]
[Anthony:] Control F seven
[Arthur:] control F seven
[Anthony:] load quick... er
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] Well you've saved it haven't you?
[Anthony:] Oh shit, I've just lost the doc
[Arthur:] What you lost?
[Anthony:] impossible
[Arthur:] What have you lost Ton?
[Anthony:] Oh God, control F seven, transfer load set
[Arthur:] take your time, take your time, don't panic
[Anthony:] I've just lo
[Arthur:] you haven't lost it
[Anthony:] Yes I have
[Arthur:] What have you lost?
[Anthony:] I don't understand that alt F four meant to change, it's not meant to do that to it
[Arthur:] You've lost your headings, or the, or the work itself?
[Anthony:] No, I've lost the, the whole work itself
[Arthur:] How? Had you saved it?
[Anthony:] Yeah and it's lost it again for me, oh shit
[Arthur:] Well it can't of
[Anthony:] Yes it can, it's gone, loads of work, ah shit,
[Arthur:] well how can it lose it, if it's saved it?
[Anthony:] get out of it quick, erm, quit
[Arthur:] Can't you get it back?
[Anthony:] I'll try...
[Arthur:] Take your time, take your time, don't get annoyed with it
[Anthony:] It does do backups
[Arthur:] it, it's done a backup, yeah?
[Anthony:] Erm, yeah
[Arthur:] Well don't lose this then...
[Anthony:] Oh the document, the document's longer with the two, let's try it.
[Arthur:] Try it and see what happens... there we are, well done
[Anthony:] Control
[Arthur:] go... is it there?
[Anthony:] No, I know I'll get it back
[Arthur:] It's not there?
[Anthony:] I'll get it back, wait, erm how do transfer, merge...
[Arthur:] What about your options no?...
[Anthony:] Erm that, transfer, merge erm, maths
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] Is it there?...
[Anthony:] No... it's got no other then what?
[Paula:] Arthur
[Arthur:] Calm down
[Paula:] Arthur
[Arthur:] if you've saved it Ton it's got, it's got to be in there hasn't it?
[Anthony:] No it isn't
[Arthur:] Just a minute
[Paula:] I'm just ringing Mr up
[Arthur:] Mr who's he?
[Anthony:] Shall I
[Arthur:] Erm oh yes, well he said he'd phone us Paula
[Paula:] I know but he, we've got it here early March and we said that we'd do his paperwork for the the afternoon
[Arthur:] Have you got it back?
[Anthony:] It was there all the time
[Paula:] paperwork for the what's it called?
[Arthur:] It was there all the time?
[Anthony:] Yeah
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] You poor thing [LAUGHTER]
[Anthony:] gets rid of
[Arthur:] What's it got rid of?
[Anthony:] erm
[Arthur:] See you panicked then didn't you, ah?
[Anthony:] that's stupid, yes
[Arthur:] Yeah but you panicked didn't you?
[Anthony:] you know how it gets rid of the Ts, it gets rid of everything it's showing there [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Oh
[Anthony:] it's a bit daft
[Arthur:] what down, all down that side?
[Anthony:] Yeah
[Arthur:] So if you put the Ts back, if you put the tab sign back on it brings all those vitamin Cs, fibres and fats up as well
[Anthony:] Yeah, yeah
[Arthur:] really?
[Anthony:] Yeah, no, no, I just pressed the wrong button
[Arthur:] That's a weakness that isn't it?
[Anthony:] I thought it was
[Arthur:] that's good, I like that
[Anthony:] to get that back, that's outlining, you know I merged something on the end that I don't want to, it's deleting
[Paul:] Not bad
[Anthony:] and you can insert it again
[Arthur:] subconsciously been misspelt go back to that, you're showing
[Anthony:] What?
[Arthur:] some cracking spellings in here
[Anthony:] That's, that's fall back again
[Arthur:] where's, where's that subconsciously? There
[Anthony:] Oh
[Paul:] I'm gonna get to do it right
[Arthur:] That's subconsciously [LAUGHTER] Tony
[Anthony:] Wait, wait a sec go home page up...
[Arthur:] Do you want me to go through this for spellings? Balanced God lad
[Anthony:] No, cos I'm not really balanced, there look relief of
[Arthur:] does this have a spell check on it?
[Anthony:] add to
[Arthur:] God, there's some great spellings in here Pardon?
[Paul:] is wrong
[Anthony:] Shh
[Arthur:] Have you picked up that plant?
[Paul:] Yes
[Arthur:] Yes
[Paul:] I have actually
[Arthur:] you wanna grow up a bit you know, how old are you?
[Paul:] Er, that and
[Arthur:] well what was?
[Paul:] Zombies
[Arthur:] Zombies
[Paul:] it's Gary
[Anthony:] How do you spell conscious?
[Paul:] Conscious? [spelling] C O N C I O U S []
[Arthur:] Try it
[Anthony:] Is that right up on the screen there, conscious?
[Arthur:] No
[Anthony:] Ah
[Paul:] Conscious
[Arthur:] that's what you've just spelt
[Paul:] [spelling] C O N C I O U S []
[Arthur:] Yeah, can't find it, it won't be found either Tony
[Anthony:] Con
[Arthur:] That's right, the C O N part's right, conscious objector
[Anthony:] I don't know
[Arthur:] that's right, you're closer
[Paul:] Conscious
[Anthony:] er science
[Arthur:] conscious, okay go on then
[Paul:] Wait take that out
[Arthur:] go on, try it, try it see what happens
[Anthony:] Mm, I'm gonna look at that and see what it gives me
[Arthur:] That's conscience yeah, but where's conscious?...
[Anthony:] Conscious
[Arthur:] See the first what, two,fi first five letters...
[Anthony:] What?
[Arthur:] of conscience, you want conscious, well you can go up to the I and then it's conscious, you've got conscience, conscious
[Anthony:] Oh damn
[Paula:] Mr T manager, what's the name of your company?
[Arthur:] freebie, another freebie
[Paula:] No, I've just rung up Viking to get some box sealing tape and, and this here, he, he said is your name T manager, what is the name of your business? What is the name of
[Paul:] It's T
[Anthony:] That's what Douglas said was that it's T
[Arthur:] So what's the name of the business?
[Anthony:] T
[Paula:] I said it isn't, no
[Paul:] It's T
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] T Trading
[Paula:] T Trading and what is the nature of your, I said we're a charity, how many people are involved? How many paid? Oh
[Arthur:] Oh it's gone into that computer now
[Paula:] Yeah the thing is it's, it's, it was, I got the stuff, paid for it by Access it'll be with you tomorrow, I got a free
[Arthur:] You're wheezing again
[Paul:] Messiah
[Paula:] I got a free, a free one and I bought an extra one
[Arthur:] Necessary you wanna see the spellings in here, you want to leave them in Ton
[Paula:] Oh Ton
[Arthur:] it'll give somebody a good laugh...
[Paula:] I thought this was
[Anthony:] N E S S
[Arthur:] necessary, necessary
[Paul:] N E S S
[Arthur:] like knife, yeah and scissors
[Paula:] I'm not surprised nec nec necessary's not found, is that your spell check?
[Arthur:] Necessary, necessary
[Anthony:] Necessary, oh
[Arthur:] [spelling] N E C [] it's not double C
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] it's not double, your mother's worse than you neces
[Paula:] No Tony
[Paul:] [spelling] E S []
[Anthony:] Necessary, aha
[Arthur:] You, it's coming now, isn't it?
[Paula:] S
[Arthur:] Yes
[Paula:] No
[Arthur:] that's alright, it'll find that
[Anthony:] It'll find that
[Arthur:] It's close, there you are
[Anthony:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Knackers
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Oh God have you seen it, you, you want to see balance as well
[Paul:] Essential
[Paula:] Go on then, spell balance
[Arthur:] Oh it's at Tony's
[Anthony:] fibre
[Paul:] Fibre is repeated
[Arthur:] Roughage, oh God [LAUGHTER]
[Paula:] What's that? Roughage
[Paul:] no
[Arthur:] no leave him, leave him, leave him
[Anthony:] Oh damn I've got
[Arthur:] easier you've got a letter too many there, can you see it?
[Anthony:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Balance, what, the E's wrong in the middle
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] What's that?
[Paul:] Break time
[Arthur:] Break time, that's okay, break time
[Anthony:] Erm add document
[Paul:] Should add it to dictionary
[Arthur:] Questionnaires, there you are, you've got it there... possibilities, that's okay
[Paul:] No it's not, that is
[Arthur:] It is
[Anthony:] Consuming
[Arthur:] Consuming, what have you got in there? Double M?
[Anthony:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Else, else's
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Anthony:] Random
[Paula:] God ain't that clever?
[Arthur:] Randomly, it's not clever at all
[Paula:] Yes it is
[Paul:] It's like that
[Arthur:] Yes, it's just looking for certain letter groups
[Anthony:] And
[Paul:] Yeah it's quicker
[Arthur:] and if you start with three or four letters in
[Paula:] Paul just hang those up in his wardrobe please, hang them up I've ironed them
[Arthur:] Have you got balance now? [reading] Healthy sensible eating has reached, has reached finic []
[Anthony:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Have you read through it?
[Anthony:] No
[Arthur:] You should read through it every so often
[Paul:] Yes spell check
[Anthony:] I will do
[Arthur:] in this, [reading] as more and more people become concerned with their health and the effect of what they eat has on it [] I'd think about your English in that and how you put it together, that there sentence
[Anthony:] Yeah, I know, I've got, I've got to read through all this
[Arthur:] And that's your introduction the first sentence that somebody's going to read, yeah?
[Anthony:] I know, I've got to, I've got to read through all of this
[Arthur:] Okay, health conscience, not, it isn't health conscience people, it's health conscious people
[Anthony:] Yeah I know
[Arthur:] You're conscious of your health not conscience of your health... health conscious
[Anthony:] Where?
[Arthur:] Fourth line down, first word
[Anthony:] Oh yes...
[Arthur:] that's it, try do it, blow your nose rather than sniffle please, [reading] balanced diet in order to provide their bodies with enough. But not too much ingredients, essential for some of the most necessary substances for a healthy life include []... have you got whisky in here as well?
[Anthony:] Right that's about it, save that
[Arthur:] Healthy substances for a healthy life, you're very good on the, is it, is it the protein he's good on?
[Anthony:] Vitamin C
[Paul:] Got too much vitamin C
[Anthony:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Too much vitamin C
[Anthony:] I don't know where it comes from
[Arthur:] I wonder if it makes your brain go doolally though
[Paul:] No, it means you're clever
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Supposed to innit, yeah, they did a study on that didn't they? They fed these children with these tablets that would make them go... and the parents were rushing out and buying tablets to make the children intel the children intelligent. Just imagine that for, taking half a dozen before you going into Mr 's geography lesson.
[Anthony:] I'm going to read through this properly
[Arthur:] I'm glad you are [LAUGHTER]
[Anthony:] [LAUGHTER] out loud, I'll write it first and then I'll check it
[Arthur:] Not with an audience [LAUGHTER] right, go on...
[Paul:] What it can't do erm, can't check up grammar mistakes
[Arthur:] True
[Paul:] A machine to get that does that, is a good program as it is, it's three hundred quid normally but it's a copy Dudley gave it to me
[Arthur:] Watch your toes
[Paul:] it's pirated
[Arthur:] It's pirated is it, oh God
[Paul:] Well he, are you gonna fork out three hundred quid?
[Paula:] Paul you gonna shock me?
[Arthur:] What's that?
[Paula:] He started his homework you see
[Paul:] Yeah I have
[Arthur:] Yeah, tomorrow
[Paula:] Tomorrow's too late
[Paul:] No it's
[Arthur:] Manana
[Paula:] tomorrow never comes...
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] Those curtains in there Paula the side, you know that track I repaired the other night
[Paula:] Drop again
[Arthur:] it's gonna come down again, the we cos you're stacking stuff against it
[Paula:] I've just moved it all away
[Arthur:] But did you notice?
[Paula:] Yeah it is, what it's done
[Arthur:] It's fallen against it, it's gonna rip it down again
[Paula:] push the bed, the bed had been pushed up and the stuff had tumbled and I just moved it all away
[Arthur:] Yeah, draw the curtains back
[speaker002:] A window could be opened in there er Paula
[Arthur:] It's like an oven in there...
[speaker002:] I see this piece in the, about Southwold beach huts
[Arthur:] What about them?
[speaker002:] Well you know the Council, Waveney Council
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] you see they want people not to se not to sell them privately
[Arthur:] Why not?
[speaker002:] Because they say, they've got a waiting list on er on the Council
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and they've got to sell them on the waiting list
[Arthur:] Really?
[speaker002:] and Southwold are up in arms with it
[Arthur:] Who's beach huts are they? The people whose they are?
[speaker002:] The people
[Arthur:] Or do they rent them off the Council or what?
[speaker002:] No what happens is you buy the beach hut but you rent them on, you rent the plot
[Arthur:] So the Council are saying although it's yours, the hut's yours, the land is ours
[speaker002:] The land is ours
[Arthur:] we want a say in whoever has these
[speaker002:] have these beach huts
[Arthur:] not, not the price that they go at
[speaker002:] and you can't sell the hut, no and you can't sell them privately, anybody you want to
[Arthur:] So who's handling the sale then the Council or est cos I've seen these things
[speaker002:] The Council
[Arthur:] in estate agents
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] have you?
[speaker002:] Yeah, but you see they sell them privately to, erm they'll, like you'd sell your house
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] privately
[Arthur:] Yes
[speaker002:] The Council wants to make out that you've got to let them have the first option
[Arthur:] Of buying it from you
[speaker002:] of buying it from you
[Arthur:] and then they sell it on?
[speaker002:] Yeah, they've got to wait
[Arthur:] They've got to make some money out of that haven't they? Otherwise it's costing you lot over at Southwold a lot of money
[speaker002:] and people in Southwold are objecting because they say
[Arthur:] I don't blame them
[speaker002:] I don't blame them, that it is right that people should, should have the right to buy from the Council, but I don't think you should
[Arthur:] Yeah there's that side to it
[speaker002:] I mean it's You see some of them only live in a small cottage with no garden and that's an extension to their home, you can go down there with the children
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] and enjoy... they've bought the hut to enjoy
[Arthur:] Mm.
[speaker002:] the privilege of, of them like you would have a shed in your garden
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] a shed, a
[Arthur:] except in your own garden
[speaker002:] Yes
[Arthur:] it's your property, it's your land it's
[speaker002:] that's correct
[Arthur:] Whereas down at the erm
[speaker002:] The land belongs to the
[Arthur:] down at the erm seaside it belongs to the Council
[speaker002:] it belongs to the Council
[Arthur:] Yeah, what a pity
[speaker002:] yeah...
[Arthur:] What's it saying in the paper then about it? Has, it just a report or is it a comment?
[speaker002:] Oh they've had a meeting you see because people in Southwold have checked
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] you see, the fact they say they should be allowed to sell
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] and to who they want to... if they want to
[Arthur:] I thought, I though Southwold Council was a Conservative Council
[speaker002:] No we belong to Waveney that's
[Arthur:] Ah is it Waveney Council that's decided it?
[speaker002:] It's Waveney you see we belong to Waveney...
[Arthur:] District
[speaker002:] District
[Arthur:] Ha, yet the Southwold Parish Council, I've seen it in there, er there's been a... some vandalism on the golf course, you know on the common and er
[speaker002:] I didn't know about that
[Arthur:] Yeah it's in there somewhere, and they're complaining, you know the people who play golf, the golf club are complaining, and the, the Council are saying it's the Southwold Council, so maybe it's the Parish Council, they're saying that er yes it's our responsibility this club and we must look after it and we must find the culprits and so on, it's in there somewhere cos I read it this morning
[speaker002:] Yeah I thought I
[Arthur:] cos it happened over the weekend digging up holes in the erm in the golf course.
[speaker002:] What this last weekend?
[Arthur:] Yes it's er, I'm sure it's in there somewhere... yeah... I wonder what will happen then... with the beach huts... it could be... it could be that you've got to get the, you can still sell them private but, and the Council will, will just say yes or no
[speaker002:] No, it just said them you will offer it to them, no you've to offer it to them first because they've got a waiting list of people wanting
[Arthur:] Right
[speaker002:] to buy, to be, it's, you see it's the or something
[Arthur:] You see, with all their beach huts all the way along the coast, is that, or is it Southwold that they're doing it with?
[speaker002:] No, they must own Southwold, Kessingland, Pakefield and straight into Lowestoft, all that
[Arthur:] That strip yeah
[speaker002:] They own the fo what they call the but why, you see er the end of Southwold when East Bramont went into the sea you know
[Arthur:] Yes when the cliffs, when the cliffs collapsed, yeah...
[speaker002:] they wouldn't shore that up because there are only about eight houses up there, so it doesn't pay them to
[Arthur:] Although they own that bit
[speaker002:] Al although they own that bit
[Arthur:] or are responsible for it
[speaker002:] or are responsible
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] But there again I don't know how much of the er, whose fault that was, whether they should of done, I mean it's, it's the same as Oldbury and Dunwich isn't it, how that just went into the sea, they let it happen
[Arthur:] Mm.
[speaker002:] they won't, they won't,th they don't intend to let it happen at all there
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] I knew some
[Arthur:] but there's, there's a
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] a village isn't there really, a small town a village
[speaker002:] you see and now at the harbour they've done that... harbour mouth so that Walberswick will not be affected
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] oh well then
[Arthur:] Yeah, but again there is, there are more houses at Walberswick than there were at East Bra is it Bravance or Badance?
[speaker002:] Oh yes, East Bramont.
[Arthur:] Eastern Bramont yeah
[speaker002:] Well the reason they wouldn't do it there, the cost is so great in comparison with the number of houses
[Arthur:] Mm, yeah, yeah they're on about erm, below erm, not Thorpeness, where's the one with the, Orford isn't it, Orford castle
[speaker002:] Oh yes
[Arthur:] there's the farmland below the castle you know going towards erm Felixstowe that way, they say the land down there, the farm, that low-lying farmland is very susceptible to flooding and the coast is being eroded
[speaker002:] That's correct
[Arthur:] oh they are, is it our Poll Tax?
[speaker002:] Yes
[Arthur:] What have you got? Go on then
[speaker002:] Oh you're not too bad
[Arthur:] What've you got? yeah
[speaker002:] Erm, get meant, get the right one ain't it? Er two four seven forty three
[Arthur:] Two hundred and forty seven a head?
[speaker002:] No, two four seven forty three, yes
[Arthur:] Per head, yeah
[speaker002:] that's not bad
[Arthur:] that's cheaper than our rates
[speaker002:] They're cheaper than the rates, yes.
[Arthur:] I feel sorry for these old folk who are over here though, on the other side of the road, two forty seven for them
[speaker002:] Well that's what
[Arthur:] That's what's wrong with it though, isn't it?
[speaker002:] That's what we
[Arthur:] Mind you there again it's cheaper than it should be because we're paying it on VAT, you know, it, er, they must think we're fools
[speaker002:] Two four seven forty seven, you're quite low actually because some
[Arthur:] Well there's a general election coming up, it's a Tory Council, they're not gonna raise it as, as high as they possibly can are they?...
[speaker002:] I think that fee is excellent, if they'd of kept it at that, I think most people could afford it.
[Arthur:] But you're paying for it in your tax,you you'd paid a whopping subsidy on it, it's a big con.
[speaker002:] Yeah but the first year was, was an awful amount really
[Arthur:] Well that was, well it should've gone up from that, what did they do with the VAT stuck two and a half percent on it and said there you are we're gonna hold the Poll Tax down, how? By making you pay more on your VAT, so we can knock the Poll Tax bills down, you're still paying for the damn stuff, ah, ha
[speaker002:] What's happened to your paper
[Arthur:] why don't this country wake up?
[speaker002:] about er
[Arthur:] I don't know what's happened today I think it's, they've run out of
[speaker002:] They've run out of ink or something
[Arthur:] out of ink, yeah
[speaker002:] Ron has sent us a copy then
[Arthur:] Yeah it must of been a few they'd got through
[speaker002:] Mm...
[Arthur:] It's the biggest con that Poll Tax thing go er the amount going down... that this lot have pulled on us and everybody's fell for it hook, line and sinker ha
[speaker002:] the first year was horrible but last year was
[Arthur:] Look, if, if somebody charges you three hundred pound, and you say that's too much and you complain and they knock it down to two fifty, but they say but we want you to pay fifty pounds on something else, extra, do you think the two fifty's fair, eh?
[speaker002:] Not really, but [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] No, well that's all they've done...
[speaker002:] all this paper is
[Arthur:] there's about six erm, six sheets in it ain't there? There er, more like ghost printing...
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER] Ha, that's funny, bad news for people paying fifty pound per week rent, you could buy your own home for forty nine pounds per week [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Sounds like Marks and Spencers there forty nine pounds, ninety nine
[speaker002:] Woolworths nineteen and eleven [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah, we won't charge you a pound for this we'll charge you nineteen and eleven [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Oh do
[Arthur:] it's under ten pound, yeah nine pounds ninety nine [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] The funniest, the funniest thing about that was, a friend of ours he always remembered when Woolworths opened in Oldham
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and they had a, er, for the opening news you see everything in Woolworths was sold for sixpence
[Arthur:] But was it Woolworths or Marks who had that little slogan, was it, nothing, not a was it not a penny, nothing more than a penny or not a thruppence
[speaker002:] Anyway, they, they put on their window er
[Arthur:] Yeah go on
[speaker002:] for er opening day everything's a sixpence and a, they have this great big display of buckets in one of the windows, sixpence
[Arthur:] Sixpence a bucket
[speaker002:] there was a little hardware shop just round the corner
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] and his were fivepence ha'penny
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] and there was this long queue outside
[Arthur:] Woolworths for sixpence [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Woolworths to buy buckets for sixpence
[Arthur:] and could've gone round the corner for
[speaker002:] Bought them for fivepence ha'penny
[Arthur:] See there's, there's the con again you see, it's the same thing, you can convince people they're do they're doing brilliantly and charge them more [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] But we said we, we couldn't give over laughing about that and they thought it was hilarious because it, it's like C & A's they used to always say, nineteen and eleven or nine and eleven or, it was always the
[Arthur:] Well Marks and Spencers look at
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Do you ever see a price in Marks and Spencers that doesn't have ninety nine P on the end of it?
[speaker002:] Yeah that's right
[Arthur:] It must cost them more in time in getting that penny out you know
[speaker002:] One penny out of the till
[Arthur:] till yeah, crazy, well look at the erm, the price of sugar the other day you were talking about that, what was it, fifty odd P?
[speaker002:] Fifty nine P
[Arthur:] And in the supermarket it's what about?
[speaker002:] Erm sixty eight
[Arthur:] Sixty eight, yeah, and that's a corner shop
[speaker002:] That's a corner shop
[Arthur:] you go to the big supermarkets
[speaker002:] Yes
[Arthur:] and you think it's gonna be cheaper, it's gotta be cheaper because it's wherever
[speaker002:] There's a reason the little corner shops do that you see, that corner shop especially he always has a blackboard outside
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and it, it, it's always erm... some offer off like cauliflowers
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and in the summer when they were thirty nine P it's to get people to go in the shop really
[Arthur:] Well the supermarkets do the same thing don't they?
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] Loss, loss leaders or if they're not loss leaders they're very low aren't they? But when you think if you go to your corner shop and you, you don't want a lot it's cheaper to go there than to get in a car
[speaker002:] Oh yes I'd rather go to the corner shop
[Arthur:] spend your money on petrol, pollute the place
[speaker002:] Well when, that's what I said to, er Paula people should always go to that village shop because in the long run I know it might cost you more, but the hassle and everything, the only thing is they haven't got the variety
[Arthur:] That's the, that's their weakness isn't it? Yeah, mm
[speaker002:] but that's their weakness because they can't take, they can't take the stock
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] but surely when that corner shop closes the elderly people round here would be in a state
[Arthur:] They've got the erm, that mobile shop that comes round here
[speaker002:] Oh have they? I didn't know about that
[Arthur:] Haven't you seen it? The blue one, from Debenham, and you can phone your order through
[speaker002:] On er get
[Arthur:] ready boxed up for you
[speaker002:] Oh that's good
[Arthur:] so you can do that with him, so if you're not too well you know like
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] say if it was yourself and father who both weren't well, he would, if you just pick up the phone and say, I'm running short can I have a b b and he, he brings it round, like you know,j j
[speaker002:] Same with
[Arthur:] I can remember my mum when, when I was little, she used to have a book, a shopping book and she used to write in it what she wanted from the shops, it was like erm a thick notebook did you
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] ever have anything? Did, is that right? And prices at the side
[speaker002:] And er it
[Arthur:] and she knew
[speaker002:] it was all printed tea, coffee, cocoa
[Arthur:] Oh no she wouldn't of, no didn't have that, no
[speaker002:] they had tea, coffee, you know the essentials
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] so that, I mean a person that was a little bit muddled always remembered
[Arthur:] Aye.
[speaker002:] but you see people with shopping lists so the
[Arthur:] She used to hand it in at the counter, this
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] book, she wrote a list out what she wanted, she used to hand it, I remember, I'd forgotten all about this, let's just say we were at the Co-Op, she'd hand it in at the counter so the, the groceries counter all, and she'd written it all out, and when it came back it was, was five minutes, it was all together for you, there it was, it was built up on the counter, and each time the amount was written at the side so
[speaker002:] Yes
[Arthur:] that sort of predates this er till slip, this till roll you get
[speaker002:] Yeah, but
[Arthur:] don't it? But she, she knew
[speaker002:] in normal
[Arthur:] what she was getting at, she knew exactly what she was shopping for, she went into that shop, there was the list, it was handed in, I bet it took her less time to shop then, than it did later when she went shopping with a vague idea well I mustn't forget this, I mustn't forget that, but then the wandering around sort of oh that looks nice and I fancy that
[speaker002:] Yeah but in, in your mother's days mine... my day as well
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] when you went shopping you could shop everywhere and a quarter of tea it was that price every shop, there was no competitiveness about it
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] a pound of butter was that
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] two pounds of sugar were that everywhere
[Arthur:] But people still shopped at different shops?
[speaker002:] Yes, you did, you, you mainly, I mean in the, in the
[Arthur:] Well, well why, well why would you choose
[speaker002:] Well because
[Arthur:] to shop at that particular shop rather than
[speaker002:] because
[Arthur:] that one?
[speaker002:] the Co-Op used to give the dividend
[Arthur:] But not everybody shopped at the Co-Op did they?
[speaker002:] Most people, there was quite a lot of people did
[Arthur:] Yeah most people did, yeah, but not everybody
[speaker002:] I mean I did, it was, it was great at
[Arthur:] My mum used to say such thing as like you know bacon's better from
[speaker002:] From
[Arthur:] from such a place rather than such a place
[speaker002:] Well you
[Arthur:] so it was, she knew you know
[speaker002:] you always went to a proper butcher then, you didn't go to the supermarket because you had a good butcher that you used to go to
[Arthur:] You knew him and he knew you
[speaker002:] and you knew what he, and he would sell you what he, there was no cons, no trying to pretend that this was best, and this was
[Arthur:] Mm, yeah
[speaker002:] so therefore a butcher was a butcher he was a tradesman in his own right
[Arthur:] But he was also a family butcher and he served the family didn't he?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Yeah, er we used to go to certain ones that's right
[speaker002:] Yeah, and another thing is I
[Arthur:] It's amazing how much you forget isn't it this, the supermarkets know, you just go, you pick it up, you stick it in your trolley and move on you pick it up, you stick it
[speaker002:] But you don't
[Arthur:] there's, there's no se there's no erm
[speaker002:] There's no service
[Arthur:] there's no service is there? None at all
[speaker002:] I mean what used to make me, what made me laugh too, is the same with linens and things
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] go in the shop and the girls do not know the stock
[Arthur:] Yeah...
[speaker002:] Yesterday when I went in the shop, we get underwear and things like that
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] the girl on that department had gone for her lunch
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] now the girl that was left for er, a, an hour
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] admitted that she didn't know and it's about that department what's
[Arthur:] What shop was that?
[speaker002:] That was Debenhams
[Arthur:] Debenhams, well you see, are they really trained for, for those
[speaker002:] so therefore
[Arthur:] little departments within the store those people or just put on
[speaker002:] No, no but you might go in at that time wanting help
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and there's nobody there that can give
[Arthur:] that's right
[speaker002:] help
[Arthur:] but that's not just because somebody was away for their dinner, it's, if that person was back from their dinner
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] they most likely wouldn't be able to give you the help as well, they're just placed on
[speaker002:] I can always remember years ago going into, going
[Arthur:] these particular department little sh
[speaker002:] into Lewis's in Manchester
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] which... was one of the good stores and I wanted a bolster case
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] and there was a girl on and she said what is a bolster case and when I tried to explain to her she looked at me as if I lived in the ark and that was going back twenty years ago.
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] You don't [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] But do you ever see bolsters sold now?...
[speaker002:] Possibly not, but they still, in the stall market
[Arthur:] Peo
[speaker002:] they can, you can still buy bolster cases
[Arthur:] Where at?
[speaker002:] That shop, I don't know what the name of that shop is, but I've seen them in the window lately its possible, yeah
[Arthur:] Yeah... so if they're still selling bolster cases I wonder if they're still selling bolsters somewhere?
[speaker002:] Well they most probably do, yeah, we only sell, sell these, stupid pillows like this, curved pillow cases for these
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] somebody must do them [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Yeah, true, true, true
[speaker002:] You don't, you don't get a service from the shop now
[Arthur:] No
[speaker002:] you, you, you just, it's make your mind up, your own mind and you're left to your own devices.
[Arthur:] When I was er, you know this Saturday morning work and weekend you know this weekend, but not Saturday morning this weekend work and holiday work at a tailors in Runcorn, the manager of that shop, gentleman's outfitters right, the manager of that shop, there's two other men worked in there full time and myself at holidays and weekends or if they were on holiday you'd have to work, you know, the erm to cover one of those and he, the manager was brought up, he's, brought up, his training was in Liverpool, in tailors where they, a man would produce a suit for somebody
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] you know you'd produced the shirt but produce er, and there would be lots and lots and lots of these people, these very skilled men
[speaker002:] Oh yeah men
[Arthur:] all working in their own little houses sort of they looked liked houses but in fact they were little workshops
[speaker002:] Yeah a lot of the Jewish folk
[Arthur:] I remember once, yeah it was like that, yeah that's right, not one, but a few times I used to get on the train from Runcorn to Liverpool, I had an address to go to in Liverpool, rough directions how to get there, to pick up a suit or to pick up a fitting, you know you'd get the, the different
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] stages of fitting
[speaker002:] Oh you do it's, it's the
[Arthur:] oh yeah, all that, you know all the [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] And you had to keep going, striving on
[Arthur:] That's right, that's right
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] well the slight adjustment so to get it, get it right, that's what you're paid for... and he's, that's where he was, that's where he was brought up in the trade, and he could take a piece of cloth in his hands, he had rolls of cloth, and he said that was made such a way, the quality of this cloth is because and that
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] socks the same exactly the same with socks, the blend of wool or nylon, er, just pure wool or nylon or whatever whether it's cotton in it, all these things type of shirts and that, the strengths of the cloths feeling it, telling you that'll wash well that'll last
[speaker002:] That'll last
[Arthur:] that is worth that money
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] and that's a bargain, and se you know these reps would come round selling this that and the other and if, you could only see samples after, wouldn't touch it with a barge pole like you know, yeah I'll have that, that's all but that's because he had a good grounding
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] now he passed that on, that had, sort of knowledge on through the people in the shop okay, if you, soon as that link gets broken and you go into a shop something like erm Burtons okay, big retail shop like Burtons, you go in there you'll have a manager in there and assistants and so on, but their background knowledge has nothing to do with tailoring, nothing at all
[speaker002:] Aye, er, it is
[Arthur:] so you can go to them and ask them for advice and they can't give it, because there's not that link back to where you know
[speaker002:] Not now there isn't
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] but, I, when I was in Stockport I went to work at that tailor's shop
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and, and
[Arthur:] oh yes, yeah, I remember that, yeah
[speaker002:] and
[Arthur:] I'd forgotten about that
[speaker002:] I mean, and I'd worked in one in Oldham and the difference between the one... that was a fifty shilling tailors in Oldham and
[Arthur:] Fifty shilling tailors
[speaker002:] Fifty shillings and you could
[Arthur:] nothing more than fifty shillings
[speaker002:] Twenty five shillings for er a cheaper suit
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and fifty shillings for
[Arthur:] A good quality one
[speaker002:] good quality
[Arthur:] and it would be as well.
[speaker002:] And those suits were made to measure
[Paula:] A week's wage
[speaker002:] and you had fittings
[Arthur:] Yeah it's a week's wage now
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Paula:] right and you had
[speaker002:] and you had fittings...
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] and you had, and the man there looked at his stock and he wouldn't, he wouldn't sell you rub well they didn't get rubbish in, because
[Arthur:] But now you see you've got these big
[speaker002:] you but they're all
[Arthur:] these big retail shops
[speaker002:] off the peg now
[Arthur:] these, you know these national thing, all that they're interested in from that manager of that shop is... how much did you sell that week
[speaker002:] Oh yeah and
[Arthur:] just pure inset, and just headquarters, that's all they're interested in, not whether he knows his job or not, not whether he could give advice because he has no control over whatever comes into that shop, he doesn't decide we're not having these T-shirts in or, or we're not having these suits in because really they're a load of rubbish, headquarters decides it, all he does is put a nice little display out, usually, and it's shown how to do it by headquarters and so on, these people come round and show them what to do and so on, do all that, in fact he's as much expertise in there as I have or you have, anybody could literally with a bit of training in the company way of doing things
[speaker002:] Mm
[Arthur:] take on that job, you don't have to be erm somebody who has knowledge about cloth, about way, the way things are made, the sewing, alright, how close it's sewn to the edge
[speaker002:] Well there's very few people
[Arthur:] yeah, things like that
[speaker002:] that have a made to measure outfit, how often that people have
[Arthur:] Oh I don't know
[speaker002:] it's all off the peg now
[Arthur:] not all, there's still a fair amount
[speaker002:] I don't think there is
[Arthur:] Oh yeah
[speaker002:] I mean all
[Arthur:] still there, there isn't, there isn't as much as there used to be, but some are fair amount
[speaker002:] Yeah, but all they were interested in that shop in was the commission they got
[Arthur:] That's it
[speaker002:] so they, I mean they flogged the cheaper lines and they could have through the door like
[Arthur:] it, it didn't matter did it?
[speaker002:] No
[Arthur:] No, that's what I'm saying and
[speaker002:] I mean they wanted the commission
[Arthur:] if you'd of gone to them for advice and say which is the better buy, which will was wash better and why, you know, I want I want
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] this particular thing, they'd be, they'd be flummoxed
[speaker002:] Well they'd sell you the most expensive because they'd got the most commission [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Yeah and convince you, if you pay more for it, it must be better, and it, that isn't always true either, usually is but not always
[speaker002:] What used to annoy me about that shop was that, that the fact that you know people used to... buy the things on the never- never
[Arthur:] Mm...
[speaker002:] and er... they used to come to me and say how much does this man owe now and if he'd been paying quite a bit next time he came in the shop they was all round him trying to persuade him to buy
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] a mac
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] trying to persuade him to buy...
[Arthur:] So they were waiting
[speaker002:] cos look your account is
[Arthur:] Getting low
[speaker002:] getting very low, you're a good payer and er I'm sure you need a pair of trousers you need this you need that
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah
[speaker002:] and some of them a bit it's all sales talk
[Arthur:] he walked out the door, he's forgotten
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] all they wanted was to get their commission.
[Arthur:] Yeah, do you think it still happens?
[speaker002:] Oh yes
[Arthur:] It happened with us, when we borrowed money to pay for this car, finished it off now, the bank, oh the letters they send you, about three months before you're about to finish paying, I am an esteemed and valued customer you know and all that crap
[speaker002:] Blah, blah, blah
[Arthur:] oh God did he
[speaker002:] I tell you what
[Arthur:] They don't esteem you, you're not valued
[speaker002:] I tell you what annoys me
[Arthur:] you're, you're just a number on a damn computer but they crack on
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] as if you were something, somebody very special and again it's a big con and it, they must think people fall for this
[speaker002:] That's why I think people got in debt because they'd been having things that they couldn't afford, I mean er, at one time you was never encouraged to ha er have things, now I mean the minute they see you're getting low on your, oh have something else, have something else
[Arthur:] Yeah, yeah, yeah
[speaker002:] and then they forget they have to pay for it
[Arthur:] I give you a good example of that, erm, well not how easy it is, not on that, but how easy it is to get money without having the money, okay, Tony wants that, the computer
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] and we wanted to get it through Access, and the credit limit on Access was... what was it a thousand? Something like that, trying to remember now what it was, sixteen hundred, sixteen hundred that was it and it says your credit limit is sixteen, sixteen, you could spend up to sixteen hundred pounds, whether you got it or not you can spend it, so we said if we're gonna get this computer because you get these Air Miles out of it, you know, every ten pounds you get an Air Mile, well if he's getting a computer over a thousand pounds you know with all the paraphernalia that goes with it, well that's a lot of Air Miles there, well we said we'll get it through Access, but there isn't, our credit limit on Access isn't enough to pay for the computer, sixteen hundred it's more than sixteen hundred, in, in the long, once he's got his printer and God knows what you know, so I phoned them up and he said erm is it possible to adjust the limit upwards? Oh yes... we said well what's the limit? Well they said what do you want it to be [LAUGHTER] oh God, I can't, there you are it's as, it's as easy as that, it's as easy as that
[speaker002:] And then they want you, I tell you what there's another thing on television that makes me really laugh is that advert about electricity and it says
[Arthur:] About electricity?
[speaker002:] Electricity yes
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and it's, keep your house warm and it's this, you know er she comes in, in the middle of the night, she gets up in the middle of the night and the house is lovely and warm, she gets up first thing in the morning and the house is lovely and warm
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] with erm storage heaters, yeah
[Arthur:] storage heaters, yeah, yeah
[speaker002:] right
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] she goes on about all this but they don't say how much it's gonna cost, never mind the storage heaters [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] That's got nothing to do with it
[speaker002:] that's got nothing to do with it, but you can be lovely and warm
[Arthur:] and warm
[speaker002:] twenty four hours of the day, until you get your bill and then you're lovely and warm [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] and warm [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Where's that table dad?
[Arthur:] I don't know Paul. You can burn it [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Where's that table that Tony had for his, that erm old camping table?
[Arthur:] I don't know Paul, it's erm, ask Tony he's the one who'd of put it away, have you asked him?
[Paul:] No
[speaker002:] But really it's a waste of time you know
[Arthur:] Close the door please
[speaker002:] when people are sitting there and thinking oh yes I'll have a storage heater, you keep lovely [LAUGHTER] and warm [] you get your bill at the end, a few hundred pound er [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] oh it's, it's just all con isn't it?
[Arthur:] Yeah they, they're telling you one part of the story
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] and they forget to tell you that once upon a time doesn't always have a nice ending, yeah
[speaker002:] I think though er, they're encouraging people to be constantly in debt because there are some people, indeed a lot of these people have bought their home like
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] Maggie Thatcher had told them to do, they haven't realized that owning your home like you know you buy it off the Council or things like that, it ends there, they're forgetting the maintenance part of it you know
[Arthur:] Yeah, but they're also forgetting as well it isn't just the maintenance that it's a long term commitment to paying
[speaker002:] Yes
[Arthur:] back money
[speaker002:] but
[Arthur:] twenty, fifteen, whatever years, whatever years, and in that time you've got to be pretty sure that you can do that
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] that your job is secure, yeah that you
[speaker002:] Well nobody's job is secure now
[Arthur:] Nobody's job is secure, but some jobs are more secure, have always been more secure than others and if you've been, as some of them have been relying on overtime
[speaker002:] Oh yes
[Arthur:] and the building societies
[speaker002:] and the second job
[Arthur:] this, will, oh the second job
[speaker002:] Oh aye and the building societies
[Arthur:] and the building societies at one time would not take overtime into account, but in the eighties oh my God, you know, how much, oh have as much as you want
[speaker002:] Yeah, that's right
[Arthur:] but they took all that, they took overtime into account, now as you can't guarantee overtime, you can't actually guarantee your basic wage
[speaker002:] Oh no you can't
[Arthur:] but of the two you can't, you can't have a ba you can't have no basic wage and only overtime
[speaker002:] Oh no
[Arthur:] yeah, one will always be there if you've got, if, if you've got a job, the other one is very iffy and yet they were lending money to people who right, right, rightly in their minds have, and as Maggie T said oh yes go on, go, yeah, independence and all that, erm they were going out, never having done it before, no tradition in, in maybe in their family of doing it before, got this goal this sort of Disney World ideal you know erm, sort of make believe world who are we gonna be and we're gonna be dreaming the dream, the dream
[speaker002:] Like the electricity isn't it?
[Arthur:] Yeah, like the electricity, but your chickens come home to roost when your overtime goes, when your job goes and you take on a commitment and they never, the last ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty five years and they've never ever, ever taken on a commitment like that before, when it's presented with just the roses around it, everything's sweetness and light and roses and the other side isn't really put, put to you, think of the worse scenario, you're out of a job, what can you do? Can you keep it going? In that case could you keep it going for a while if you're out of a job? What limit of borrowing should you be borrowing to? I know accountants say borrow to your top limit because of tax purposes, but they're talking about people who've
[speaker002:] Well people that have got it
[Arthur:] so much money you know, they've, they've got to erm
[speaker002:] That's right, yeah
[Arthur:] they've got to spend
[speaker002:] but I, I disagree with them... lending money to the extent, the old way was better when it was two and a half times the salary, your salary
[Arthur:] Do you know how much it was when we got our first house, just before we were married, it wasn't two and a half times your salary, it was one and a half times our salary
[speaker002:] Yeah, but it was one salary
[Arthur:] and one salary
[speaker002:] and then people never got themselves into debt, it was only erm unless you were unemployed
[Arthur:] That was, that was the realism of life wasn't it?
[speaker002:] Yeah, is was the ideal thing
[Arthur:] That your marriage, one your marriage could break up
[speaker002:] Oh yes
[Arthur:] two, even though you're both working you can't guarantee that both will continue to work, it's taking it to a real, a realistic level
[speaker002:] But I mean I feel sorry for young mums now because there's no way if they take on these mortgages they can have a family
[Arthur:] Right, yeah
[speaker002:] now that is wrong because nobody should be committed so much to the hilt that they can't have a family
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and choose a life, it's all going in bricks and mortar and the not
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] the building societies
[Arthur:] but this is, this is the way of, values of of
[speaker002:] Yes
[Arthur:] the place of the moment, at the moment isn't it?
[speaker002:] Yes
[Arthur:] That bricks, mortar, tellies, carpets and God knows what
[speaker002:] That's it, more than, yes
[Arthur:] rat matter more than people
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] it seems to be
[speaker002:] but you see the, the sad thing of this is, if you've got a, a little family and then you can't, because the man has lost his job, you're turned out of your house even if you've paid five or six years on it
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] and then they can turn round and offer you bed and breakfast
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] at two hundred pounds a week
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] now that is wrong, why they can't help that family to extend the mortgage until
[Arthur:] It would cost them less than two hundred pounds a week
[speaker002:] It would cost them less
[Arthur:] that's right this is the meanest of it
[speaker002:] And there's no Oh yes
[Arthur:] this is the meanest, you get into the system of the, of the legality of it, the, the er,thes these people who lend money where we want our money back
[speaker002:] Yes
[Arthur:] we want it there, we want this guarantee, it's, it's a bit s [sigh] it's sort of well
[speaker002:] Well you see
[Arthur:] it's a bit Shylockish, we want our pound of flesh at the end of this day, now that, the fact that the cost of that pound of flesh will cost you more than this two hundred pound a week
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] cost you far more getting it like that than saying we'll support you
[speaker002:] Exactly, but you see the point is this
[Arthur:] it's, it really is a bit Shylockish
[speaker002:] I think it's wrong because they, they're putting these houses now on the market, the building societies
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] and they're putting them into auction and the people that have got spare money
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] are snapping them up
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and yet
[Arthur:] Hold on, it's not people who've got spare money, it's people who
[speaker002:] Who want to invest money
[Arthur:] who've got plenty of cash, always will have as well and this is, this is the unfortunate part, this, this is the sinister part of it really, because the people who've scratted around and have suffered
[speaker002:] Yes
[Arthur:] borrowed up to the hilt, they, they, their er, I, what should I say, their erm... unfortunate circumstances
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] are benefitting people who don't have to, never had to scrat around...
[speaker002:] It's still wrong
[Arthur:] they actually they had, the poor if you look at it one way are subsidising the very rich
[speaker002:] Oh yes
[Arthur:] the very, the ones who've got so much money they could and they're buying up things as a result of somebody's misery at a way lower price than it should be bought for
[speaker002:] Oh I know it's horrible
[Arthur:] and they're doing it again and again and again, it suits them, it suits the ones that are really rich to have ordinary people struggling like that and it suits them not to have that two hundred pounds a week going in to help those people and they're the people who it suits who will decide whether that two hundred pounds a week goes to help on the mortgage or put them into what is it, a bed and, a bed and breakfast?
[speaker002:] Mm, don't know what they call them
[Arthur:] So if it, if it look at it like that, these people are benefitting ho again and again, time and again and again out of some, out of somebody's
[speaker002:] Yeah, but you see
[Arthur:] misfortune, and yet, and yet the cost of putting them into a bed and breakfast would stop those people's houses going on the market and it would stop those people who are benefitting from it, from benefitting from it
[speaker002:] Yeah but you see, the, in this, in this
[Arthur:] They're parasites aren't they?
[speaker002:] in a vicious circle too it's working that the tax payers are having to subsidize bed and breakfast
[Arthur:] Yeah so
[speaker002:] so
[Arthur:] the rest of us
[speaker002:] they, they might as well
[Arthur:] are subsidizing the rich to buy houses that are becoming cheaper onto the market
[speaker002:] In, yeah, in a vicious circle, yeah
[Arthur:] so we're all helping the rich to become richer
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] because these poor sods can't pay off the mortgage
[speaker002:] and er, er, er, and the poor are getting poorer and they will not let them get out of the poverty trap.
[Arthur:] It suits them
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] not to let them get out of the pov that's what I'm saying, it suits them because they can buy up property much cheaper than if that two hundred pounds a week that's being spent on bed and breakfast, that, they were spent on helping them with the problems as they are at the moment.
[speaker002:] Yeah, they should, I mean it is a problem
[Arthur:] It's crazy, it's crazy, if only people again'd sit back and look at it and see exactly what's happening, rather than saying it serves them right, they shouldn't of done this, they shouldn't of got themselves into that position they're in that position
[speaker002:] They can't help it sometimes
[Arthur:] they're in that position, it's gonna cost us to get out, cost us to get them out of it and they can go out into a bed and breakfast or they can stay in the house...
[speaker002:] They're better staying in the house aren't they?
[Arthur:] That's right
[speaker002:] You're better letting them
[Arthur:] but to start with they shouldn't of borrowed to the limit they were borrowing
[speaker002:] Well there's the building societies fault
[Arthur:] That's building societies, yeah
[speaker002:] if they go, if they're wanting to let people have as much money
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] and know full well that it's very difficult for them to pay
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] they should of, go back to the old system that they took the man's wage in, only into consideration
[Arthur:] Or, one of them, or one of them
[speaker002:] Or one of them, well yes
[Arthur:] or one and a quarter or one and a half or whatever
[speaker002:] Yes, it used to be two and a half times the wage and in the long run rather than mess about taking the house off them
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] if they're only young extend the mortgage
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] they'll still get their money in the end
[Arthur:] That's right
[speaker002:] and they'll get more money
[Arthur:] These people who are buying up houses now so cheaply from these, you know from these repossessions
[speaker002:] Oh it's terrible
[Arthur:] they must rub their hands together you know when these booms are going, you know, oh as much money as you want because they must know what's gonna happen when they, you know, when the cows come home, they must know when the chickens come home to roost they must know what's gonna happen
[speaker002:] What they're going to
[Arthur:] that there are gonna be so many thousands of people in a right mess and they're
[speaker002:] Well
[Arthur:] gonna pick up cheap pickings, they're gonna go round like the vultures, just taking it and taking it
[speaker002:] In one way they should do something about people having second homes and make it more, that they get more tax out of them or something...
[Arthur:] Right
[speaker002:] unless they're going to let, unless people are going to buy them and let them at a reasonable rent to people
[Arthur:] What's reasonable? Ha
[speaker002:] Yeah, but I mean
[Arthur:] reasonable to whom?
[speaker002:] in a few years... this er, they're not building houses so these houses are gonna go, rocket again
[Arthur:] When the Council houses were sold, a lot of money went into the, went into the Council yeah
[speaker002:] Yeah, well they're not allowed to spend it
[Arthur:] and they're not allowed to spend it, that's the craziest thing of all but housing associations can build houses, but Councils can't
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] or they can but a tiny amount, it's this sort of... dogma, this blind faith, has put commonsense right out of the window completely out the window
[speaker002:] I don't understand these
[Arthur:] it's
[speaker002:] how these housing associations though
[Arthur:] How they work?
[speaker002:] Well no, how they can afford to let the houses when the Council can't.
[Arthur:] Well the government subsidizes them a lot... for, for a start and it's, again it's the government, the philosophy of the gover of a government either subsidize something or it doesn't, doesn't it, and it subsidizes what it
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] wants to be a success, it did, it takes the subsidy away from something that it, either it is successful in itself and it no, no longer needs to be subsidized or something that they want to see go to the wall, if they want to see something going to the wall, it
[speaker002:] Yeah, but it belongs to the association
[Arthur:] I don't know exactly the
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] the ins and outs of them, but there's a lot of government input into it, there's a lot of government help in there, a lot
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] and it's, it's the philosophy that people will stand on their own two feet and own
[speaker002:] But why
[Arthur:] and own their own houses
[speaker002:] you see
[Arthur:] which is a good philosophy
[speaker002:] in some ways to though, I mean I can understand... I think people, some people
[Paula:] Arthur can you just turn the bacon on the chicken and the potatoes?
[Arthur:] alright, alright
[speaker002:] Yeah, better see what's happening, anyway I've sat long enough
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] I'm as stiff as a board...
[Arthur:] You're a fat board yeah...
[speaker002:] We've put the world to rights
[Arthur:] Oh it's not a case of putting the world to rights... I'm looking for this bacon
[speaker002:] There it's in the fridge
[Arthur:] Got it, got it
[Paula:] The bacon's on the chicken
[Arthur:] it's only two pieces
[Paula:] Yeah that's all we want
[Arthur:] Paula
[Paula:] bacon
[Arthur:] Paula
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] it's only two pieces of bacon
[Paula:] The bacon's on the chicken
[Arthur:] It's on it, oh, thought you said put it on it... oh God... Up, not on the pillows but actually sitting up as if he was
[speaker002:] Bolt upright?
[Arthur:] Bolt upright, yes, fast asleep and then he'd move his hands
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] erm, do you know like erm in meditation people, when they're meditating and their minds are away and, and the bodies are calm and relaxed, it was like that then, then he'd go back into his sleep
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] and then he woke up, his, his eyes opened from this, he was actually asleep and his, he woke up from it, not with a start, but the, it's, he woke up very quickly, instantly and he just started to do things.
[speaker002:] What do, what age do you think he is?
[Arthur:] Oh well in his seventies, touching eighty
[speaker002:] Do yo think so?
[Arthur:] I think so... if not he's in his high fifties his high fifties and he's very old, young
[speaker002:] Yeah... what was Paul like last night was his mother there?
[Arthur:] Paul, erm he was... his wife was there and his dad... he went for a bath... for a walk, a walk around
[speaker002:] You know his dad's a very calm person isn't he?
[Arthur:] Yes, yeah
[speaker002:] He's very calm
[Arthur:] he's, erm
[speaker002:] Did you say he was an, in tele was a telephone engineer?
[Arthur:] I think so, yes
[speaker002:] Oh, he's a nice man, and he seems to be, I mean he seems to be in control of everything
[Arthur:] Yeah it's erm...
[speaker002:] I feel sorry for the mother though she seems quieter than Colin doesn't she?...
[Arthur:] Well she's got something wrong with her legs hasn't she?
[speaker002:] She suffers a lot with her legs you know
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] she drags them along doesn't she?... It's an awful strain though when you've got a young person like... you know like Paul, because I mean... they have their future before them and... but very sad really... he erm... That other boy seems to of gone out doesn't he, that was in the other day, that was walking around, he seemed to of had his treatment and gone.
[Arthur:] Which was that one?
[speaker002:] There was another one like Paul with er that had had chemotherapy
[Arthur:] Oh yes at the end, yes, yes
[speaker002:] he seems to of gone... [singing]
[Paula:] Want me to do your hair or anything mother?
[speaker002:] No... er I thought I'll leave it till tomorrow and then
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker002:] well, well if I'm going to be going home, leave it, cos if I'm going to go home it's pointless change it or anything, we haven't had any visitors
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker002:] Mm, I mean we might today... I'll do my hair tomorrow just in case I was going
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] Anything else need going on?
[speaker002:] How far are the potatoes and the
[Arthur:] About half an hour off the potatoes, you don't want the sprouts on just yet, do you?
[speaker002:] No
[Paula:] What er
[speaker002:] are we doing those in the microwave?
[Paula:] Yeah and the frozen peas as well please
[speaker002:] What time did you put the chicken on?
[Arthur:] I'll get those out. What time did the chicken go on Paula?
[Paula:] I can't remember
[Arthur:] it's ten past now, ten past twelve
[Paula:] I can't remember
[speaker002:] I said I wish you'd of timed it of it on top
[Arthur:] about ten o'clock, half ten
[Paula:] No it was turned that, about half eleven
[Arthur:] It was eleven, about half ten, it's been in an hour and a half
[Paula:] Oh
[Arthur:] is that enough? No, I'll just go to the freezer
[Paula:] You've got to be careful with chicken
[speaker002:] That's what I said... what are
[Arthur:] what's that? They're the tops of paint pots, you put the
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] you put the plastic pot on the bottom, that on the top and so long
[speaker002:] they look rather nice, they look
[Arthur:] Ha, they're dirty
[speaker002:] they, they look expensive don't they?
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] They're dirty, and so long as you erm fill your paint pots up so the water in the pot is below, below that, if you tip it over it doesn't spill
[speaker002:] Oh very good that
[Arthur:] That's the theory
[speaker002:] That's the theory
[Arthur:] the practice is a bit different... How long do the sprouts take in the microwave Paula?
[Paula:] Pardon?
[Arthur:] How long do the sprouts take in the microwave?
[Paula:] Twelve
[Arthur:] Twelve minutes?
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] That's too much, yeah... spilling the peas all over the place here...
[speaker002:] What a beautiful day
[Arthur:] A good drying day isn't it?
[speaker002:] Gorgeous
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] I tell you what I'm going to do
[Arthur:] What's that?
[speaker002:] I want to can I iron in here? Is there any possibility of ironing in here?
[Arthur:] Nah I think Paula might hit the roof if you start ironing
[speaker002:] I only want to do daddy's pyjamas for the hospital
[Arthur:] Well he doesn't need them today
[speaker002:] He does, he hasn't got any with him
[Arthur:] No pyjamas?
[speaker002:] No, he'll be going berserk because he has, he has three pairs of
[Arthur:] How many pairs of pyjamas has he got?
[speaker002:] He's got three pair
[Arthur:] Paula, Paula says hundreds
[speaker002:] dirty, only bottoms, Paula he hasn't any jackets
[Paula:] Well, do them then
[speaker002:] If you don't mind
[Paula:] Do what you want to do
[speaker002:] I want to, where can I plug in out here?
[Arthur:] In the socket in the wall [LAUGHTER] you can plug in [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] No I mean, it seems pointless carrying it through
[Arthur:] Mind yourself
[speaker002:] That's
[Arthur:] Well do it, see the light there, the that thing
[speaker002:] Oh yes I can use this
[Arthur:] I'll, I'll put it up for you
[speaker002:] Pull it
[Arthur:] which way do you want it?
[speaker002:] I'm only doing his top
[Arthur:] Don't pull it out like that, pull it straight out, don't wiggle it
[speaker002:] Wiggle what?
[Arthur:] You watch
[speaker002:] She's a wiggly wobbly one
[Arthur:] watch, oh missus
[speaker002:] I'm no missus
[Arthur:] just pull it straight out, if you do that to it you'll wreck it, never mind good God that's true, you're a what? I can see
[speaker002:] A Uri Geller
[Arthur:] A Uri Geler
[speaker002:] I make, I make a mess of everything that
[Arthur:] well if you do that to it, to something, no wonder, is that the right way round for you?
[speaker002:] Yes
[Arthur:] Which way you ironing?
[speaker002:] This way
[Arthur:] Where you gonna stand oh yeah
[speaker002:] I'm gonna stand looking outside at the garden... oh I must do he's got three pair here
[Arthur:] Do you want them on st do you want it on steam?... How dry are they? Are they too dry?
[speaker002:] No they're just right actually
[Arthur:] Are you sure?
[speaker002:] Yeah, only I want him to try these on you see because I bought him a new pair yesterday
[Arthur:] What d'ya buy, are they cotton? Are they cotton?
[speaker002:] in the morning, cotton, yes
[Arthur:] Are they cotton? Great
[speaker002:] they're cotton
[Arthur:] they are it's not hot yet, give it a chance
[speaker002:] It's hot
[Arthur:] still warming up, oh God
[speaker002:] it won't take me, I'm not spending a load of time on jar jamas
[Arthur:] Ha don't bother ironing them then
[speaker002:] Yes, make them look beautiful not, not like the other night when we went
[Arthur:] yeah I think that's been worrying him more than anything else you know
[speaker002:] I wonder why he keeps being sick
[Arthur:] Well they said it was, cos his bowels weren't moving and that
[speaker002:] Oh gosh
[Arthur:] he said that's, and yet he says now they're moving but, by themselves he doesn't need any, any anememas or enemas or whatever yeah, what she done with them? You've not thrown them away have you?
[Paula:] What?
[Arthur:] The peelings, the erm, what you call it the sprouts
[speaker002:] Ooh
[Arthur:] they love those
[speaker002:] I'm sorry, can I fish them out?
[Arthur:] I think it's a bit late now...
[speaker002:] Ow...
[Arthur:] Right, have plenty of peas there aren't there?
[Paula:] More than enough
[Arthur:] I thought so... what needs doing? I fancy a cup of tea... It's a crack it's a cracking day isn't it?
[speaker002:] Yes
[Arthur:] are you getting out there? Get the, get the grass cut get the grass cut, what the heck is, oh I see it
[speaker002:] [singing] When they begin []
[Arthur:] When you going down to the hospital this afternoon or tonight?
[speaker002:] Can't do
[Arthur:] well look in that case I'll do this afternoon okay?
[speaker002:] And I'll do
[Arthur:] yeah
[speaker002:] about six o'clock I'd quite like to go and have a chat to Bob... otherwise if he
[Arthur:] Oh you broke that, sprung that one on us
[speaker002:] I've been thinking, I've been thinking
[Arthur:] Well I, he'll only just be getting in from work
[speaker002:] Yeah we'll have this a bit and then carry on
[Arthur:] Well erm, at half past six Paula he'll be in the middle of his tea, you've got to give the guy a chance to turn round... try to suit you, but think of him, he's just getting in from work and boom
[speaker002:] But I've got to get my
[Arthur:] well get that done... what else have you got to do?
[speaker003:] [whispering] []
[Arthur:] [whispering] I forgot, right [] well get yourself in there.
[speaker002:] But I can do in fact I'll go up and do half an hour before dinner
[Arthur:] Well this, won't be an hour yet will it before this is ready?
[speaker002:] Half an hour, the lid of this won't come off this
[Arthur:] oh no it's not ready yet, leave it on
[speaker002:] Oh for the bacon
[Arthur:] Oh the bacon's alright, you don't want it dried up, hate dried bacon
[speaker002:] Right I'll go and do erm
[Arthur:] right off you go, go on, clear off... you okay?
[speaker002:] Fine, if I get them done be ready for the
[Arthur:] is this all the ironing there is?
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] I'll do those trousers then
[speaker002:] that's all there is
[Arthur:] What about these jeans have you checked those?
[speaker002:] No they've only just gone out
[Arthur:] Oh
[speaker002:] those aren't ready, they've only just gone out
[Arthur:] Right
[speaker002:] I don't know whether Paula wants to put another or what?
[Arthur:] I'll ask her might as well now while it's, the weather's as good as this, Paula, Paula
[Paula:] Yes love
[Arthur:] do you want another wash done again? You might as well seeing the weather's as good as this... oh yeah
[Paula:] Oh that's
[Arthur:] all this lot
[Paula:] that's four, six
[Arthur:] do this four one
[Paula:] on an economy
[Arthur:] on an economy right, what else, what's in the basket?
[Paula:] Nothing
[Arthur:] Are you sure?
[Paula:] Well there are things in there, they need hand washing but it's all
[Arthur:] but there's a shirt in there
[Paula:] It needs hand washing
[Arthur:] A striped shirt?
[Paula:] It said on the label, very strong colour, risk it in that four wash, go on, on the four wash
[Arthur:] Well it's, a bit crazy if you've gotta a shirt, is it one of mine?
[Paula:] is it one of those new ones look how strong that red is
[Arthur:] Yeah but it doesn't say hand wash it
[Paula:] No, it said for the first wash it's a very strong rinse
[Arthur:] Where does it say that?
[Paula:] On the label, but it's cut off
[Arthur:] Hand wash, hand hot, four, machine fifty
[Paula:] from a label that's been cut off, it can go in a four wash, cos it doesn't matter what it's in with cos it's only on shirts for us.
[Arthur:] That one isn't, that's Tony's, yeah, er mine I'm not bothered about those right, I'll leave you to it call you down for t dinner when it's ready
[speaker002:] Like a cup of tea
[Arthur:] Like a cup of tea would you? Do you want it stirred clockwise or anti-clockwise?... Right can I just get to the washer?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Alright, you're alright that's plenty, plenty
[speaker002:] such a beautiful day it'll dry
[Arthur:] Ah it's a bit daft not to, isn't it really?
[speaker002:] It is really, well I've been hanging them out because it's, that's such an effort, you know what the cleaner s
[Arthur:] they iron better you know if they go out
[speaker002:] That's what the cleaner said the other day, she said have you been hanging your clothes out? I said yes, she said it's lovely, she said make it so easy for ironing, see
[Arthur:] That's right
[speaker002:] the trouble is I find that they go very boardy when you got it loses all the
[Arthur:] It's good when you put them in, if you put them in a tumble dryer
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] that helps them, but if you put them on radiators and God knows what round the house trying to keep them, get them dry
[speaker002:] dry actually
[Arthur:] Yeah... true, true, true
[speaker002:] well you've got to do it in the winter so
[Arthur:] Oh yeah well not really stick, stick them in a tumble dryer if you're lucky... depends how much money you've got
[speaker002:] That's a good t washer that I've bought you know
[Arthur:] What's that?
[speaker002:] Well it's got thick and thin dryer
[Arthur:] Oh, yeah, yeah
[speaker002:] and you don't get, you know how you get steam and these
[Arthur:] Steam from what?
[speaker002:] these tumble dryers
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] it goes back into the washer
[Arthur:] Into the vent? what make is it?
[speaker002:] Oh I can't remember it, it's a foreign one
[Arthur:] A foreign
[speaker002:] Mm, ah, I didn't realize your tumble dryer was on its, you could of had my other tumble dryer
[Arthur:] Is on its what?
[speaker002:] On its... you know there's something the matter with it
[Arthur:] Oh it's only the return spring on it, there's nothing wrong with the dryer
[speaker002:] because you could of had mine
[Arthur:] Ah there's donkey's years in that yet, oh God
[speaker002:] Oh mine was not used
[Arthur:] No, there's nothing
[speaker002:] got rid of it
[Arthur:] Yeah, nothing wrong with that...
[speaker002:] What's the worry about it?
[Arthur:] Well you see when you turn that you see turn, turn your control
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] and it's set and it should click back shouldn't it slowly?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] It does that, so there's a
[speaker002:] Oh I see
[Arthur:] return spring gone on it that's all
[speaker002:] Mm
[Arthur:] get in the top of it one day nah, nothing wrong with that, it dries them, dries them beautifully
[speaker002:] You can get, well the trouble is with the new
[Arthur:] Well done Paula she's used all the hot water
[speaker002:] Oh yes she's, she's
[Arthur:] Had a bath
[speaker002:] did she wash her feet before?
[Arthur:] Yeah well if, it's a stupid way of doing it when you've got a boiler that's heating up, you can just wait on a bit
[speaker002:] You might, you might as well wait
[Arthur:] Yeah, it's an expensive way of... of doing it anyway
[speaker002:] you see you might as well wait
[Arthur:] I can set it up
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] economy wash
[speaker002:] That's not, they're much nicer when they're outside
[Arthur:] Oh yeah
[speaker002:] much easier to
[Arthur:] oh I couldn't agree with you more, that's plenty
[speaker002:] We got a good dryer
[Arthur:] yeah you catch enough wind there don't you?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Same as this, this catches a lovely
[speaker002:] This is lovely this...
[Arthur:] Will be once that hedge gets up
[speaker002:] I like that divided hedge it's beautiful
[Arthur:] You notice how the Pyracantha are there
[speaker002:] Yeah, yeah
[Arthur:] these, this little group here are different from all the others
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] different breed, different variety
[speaker002:] It's a pity you didn't do your outer edge with roses
[Arthur:] Which one the
[speaker002:] Yeah the beech one
[Arthur:] the beech
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] that was already in I was gonna
[speaker002:] Was it?
[Arthur:] Yeah, oh yeah, that's gonna look good that when we, when we get it to something like
[speaker002:] How
[Arthur:] when it fills out
[speaker002:] how long did, has, has that one been in the Pyracantha?
[Arthur:] Pyracantha, about four years now
[speaker002:] And can you keep them that height if
[Arthur:] Yeah, well we will do once we'll get them to the height we want we'll start trimming them and they'll bush out a bit more, that's not bad they're about four, four or five foot now aren't they?
[speaker002:] Is that man, that man you I don't know whether to have a brick wall or whether to
[Arthur:] Well you've got your hedge trimmer haven't you?
[speaker002:] Yes but I cannot get
[Arthur:] So you've got the tool to keep it
[speaker002:] but I can't
[Arthur:] to keep it under control
[speaker002:] I'll never be able to do it myself
[Arthur:] No, but you've got the tool I'm saying to keep it under control
[speaker002:] Yeah, but I couldn't use it so, so
[Arthur:] No
[speaker002:] so I didn't know whether to have a brick edge er a brick wall
[Arthur:] See these, this type of thing, this er Pyracantha, the reason why you've go that, it's evergreen
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] its thorns, it's got thorns in it so it stops
[speaker002:] Which is good it stops animals
[Arthur:] any well anybody can deters, deters them
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] you've got some, you've got flowers on it,wh those white flowers and then you get those lovely red berries
[speaker002:] You got them lovely red berries
[Arthur:] so you've got a mix of everything in it
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] it's an ideal thing
[speaker002:] Where'd you buy those from?
[Arthur:] Erm, a nursery up, going towards Norwich on the A one forty
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] and he just got them in, real, there's a
[speaker002:] I tell, I tell
[Arthur:] there's a better one now, you know, er where we found out, you know where we got the Laurels from at the other side?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Well they are erm, we got those from a place the other side of Ipswich on the Shotley peninsula, I think it says Paul Doubleday in, name of the nursery and that's a genuine nursery, not some of these pretending to be a nursery in a garden centre, he se he grows stuff to sell to Councils and you know big organizations
[speaker002:] Yeah, they're good plants and everything
[Arthur:] Cracking plants really good ones, and alright, they're not, they're not the cheapest in the world, but you get quality plants
[speaker002:] But you get quality, oh yes you get what you pay for
[Arthur:] I suppose if you're buying by the thousands the price'd come down a lot, but when we were only buying about, you know, forty odd plants
[speaker002:] I tell you what I, the hedging I liked too, is if you can have a hedging that comes, you know, some of the garden centres sell them that you got something every month of the year
[Arthur:] Oh yeah, well you could plant it yourself couldn't you?
[speaker002:] Yeah, oh yeah
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Ah, that means trying to
[Arthur:] but it, that, that's okay providing in the winter, you haven't got some of it that's evergreen and some of it that you, you know, then you've got to hedge it's
[speaker002:] Oh yes you've got to cut it
[Arthur:] and mish-mash in the winter
[speaker002:] you see, er, er Mary was a bit silly because she's had a lot of air plant, they just pulled them off and threw them out, now I wouldn't of done, done that because I would of kept some of those
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] because she does it, she didn't know what was in the garden, cos she hadn't been there long enough, now I think that's silly because I think you're better waiting a couple of years, seeing what comes up
[Arthur:] What it does
[speaker002:] and then decide
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] because you're spending a lot of money
[Arthur:] When did she move in?
[speaker002:] Oh, well she bought the house same time as we bought the house you see
[Arthur:] Yeah but when did she move in though?
[speaker002:] She didn't ah, she didn't move in till after us,Aug in the August sort of thing, the summer that we moved in, a couple of years ago
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] you see she didn't give it till the spring to see what came up, I mean she had it all paved which was silly because they, there were a load of rose bushes and that
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] which she, I mean you, you're throwing away a lot of plants that you might decide to keep
[Arthur:] True... very true
[speaker002:] But I do like that hedging I think it's beautiful when the red berries are on it
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] but er
[Arthur:] Well it's not, it's not a bad hedge... and it's now starting to get you know
[speaker002:] you see, I'm
[Arthur:] a, a good growth on it
[speaker002:] I'm static the only trouble is with our front is that because we're getting old we can't manage, we're not going to plan each garden, so it might be easier to have a, a big lawn and then
[Arthur:] Concrete the lot
[speaker002:] Ha
[Arthur:] paint it green [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] No, no but it, it, you've got, I mean that hedge it's too much work, see Archie was gonna come and do it this year
[Arthur:] There's no way that's gonna happen now is it?
[speaker002:] No, it's not gonna happen
[Arthur:] No way
[speaker002:] Well you see Archie said to dad that he would help him to take all the bush bit out
[Arthur:] And he got Paul down for that, Paul and Tony and myself
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] he'd of done that you see, all the
[speaker002:] with the
[Arthur:] grubbing out
[speaker002:] Well it's the, it's because we don't want the
[Arthur:] It's a isn't it mainly?
[speaker002:] Yeah, but it's
[Arthur:] Bits of other things in that
[speaker002:] Yes it's gone it's gone, the bit, it's gone too straggly after
[Arthur:] Oh yeah
[speaker002:] you know once you, you, you lose all that bottom
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] and it's all dead wood really
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] and you've got to keep trimming it and all to keep it nice and, and chic, no I, I think like
[Arthur:] you're doing a good job here aren't you? Keep going, that one now.
[speaker002:] That's nice, bought these yesterday aren't they nice?
[Arthur:] Bought them yesterday?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] And you've washed them?
[speaker002:] Well erm, I've just gave them a quick rinse because the erm, that stuff's the sizing of the, I don't like the
[Arthur:] Oh he will be pleased he'll think it's his birthday
[speaker002:] He will, well this is his celebration didn't you know?
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Pyjamas
[speaker002:] It annoys him because his best pyjamas are here and he's seeing the specialist
[Arthur:] He won't be annoyed
[speaker002:] Well he would if, if he gets to look at his
[Arthur:] he doesn't get annoyed father does he?
[speaker002:] Oh no
[Arthur:] No
[speaker002:] no but I say he, he would be wanting to dress up today in this
[Arthur:] well he can't [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] He can't, he's got three pair here, oh these are beautiful.
[Arthur:] Where you get off at?
[speaker002:] Er
[Arthur:] Debdens
[speaker002:] Debdens, they had a sale on
[Arthur:] Well
[speaker002:] Three pounds
[Arthur:] hasn't, hasn't everybody got a sale on?
[speaker002:] Yeah, they've all got a sale
[Arthur:] Made in Hong Kong, brilliant yeah, yeah
[speaker002:] Everything's made in Hong Kong
[Arthur:] Hong Kong
[speaker002:] now
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] or Pakistan
[Arthur:] I've not seen that, right do you want a cup of tea?
[speaker002:] No thank you
[Arthur:] You sure?
[speaker002:] What time's lunch then?
[Arthur:] Well it's gonna be a long time off that yet, another half an hour
[speaker002:] Oh go on, I'll be a devil
[Arthur:] ha, be a devil
[speaker002:] I'll be a devil and celebrate...
[Arthur:] Celebrate with a cup of tea, that's not bad... do you want a strong cup or a weak one?
[speaker002:] Oh a strong one
[Arthur:] A strong one, you're really celebrating are you?... There you are, you can stand your spoon up in that...
[speaker002:] Oh you can tell they're made in Hong Kong
[Arthur:] go on then why, how can you tell that?
[speaker002:] Well, look at the sleeves, I mean you wouldn't do that in an English, in an English pair of pyjamas
[Arthur:] Why not?
[speaker002:] put a piece in
[Arthur:] No
[speaker002:] our clothes are definitely
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] no correct
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] I, are, it's on your heat
[speaker002:] that those are very bad
[Arthur:] Take them back to Hong Kong
[speaker002:] Take them back
[Arthur:] right
[speaker002:] Slow boat to China
[Arthur:] Who sang that? I'd like to get you on a slow boat to China?
[speaker002:] [singing] I like to get you []
[Arthur:] Who was it? Who sang it?... What's his name, ooh... cup of tea, have you finished it yet?... Ah?
[speaker002:] No I haven't
[Arthur:] Have I hell... ah going through the diary now, it's at that stage, enjoy it? oh, oh... oops push your chair in a bit, how's it going?
[speaker003:] Alright
[Arthur:] Are you out there? Just pull the mike out crash, bang, wallop, gone... what they did for work today... a little bit of exercise, desk work a lot of exercise, exercise.
[Anthony:] Not
[Arthur:] Do you spell roughage like that?
[Anthony:] Where?
[Arthur:] Put it back to fibre, go back to your bit on fibre...
[Anthony:] Roughage
[Arthur:] a section on
[Anthony:] oh it, it might, it won't
[Arthur:] Yeah
[Anthony:] pick it up cos it's in speech marks... I'll put the speech marks back after it
[Arthur:] It just doesn't look right
[Anthony:] Let's find out... no that's how you spell it
[Arthur:] Where is it?
[Anthony:] Oh it's gone back...
[Arthur:] I suppose it's gotta be hasn't it, when you think about it Yeah
[Anthony:] Ah, you should be able to tell
[Arthur:] Do you want me to check your spellings for you? Yeah, put your speech marks round it now
[Anthony:] rough, yes
[Arthur:] okay, put your speech marks round it, I take it all back then I said about that, it just didn't look right. Do you want me to check spellings for you?
[Anthony:] No it should do it, oh I've got to go through it yet properly
[Arthur:] I thought you'd done that.
[Anthony:] No, not yet
[Arthur:] Have you had any more problems with it?
[Anthony:] Whoops
[Arthur:] You didn't, ha didn't...
[Anthony:] Can't
[Arthur:] yes that's okay
[Anthony:] veg
[Arthur:] Vegetables... think of vegetable
[Anthony:] Oh I, yes
[Arthur:] that's it
[Anthony:] in convenience
[Arthur:] con that's convenience, convenience
[Anthony:] partici
[Arthur:] par paricipate [LAUGHTER]
[Anthony:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] paricipate, that's a good word that, paricipate
[Anthony:] ex
[Arthur:] Yeah, alright, exercise, exercise rather than exercise
[Anthony:] exercise oh yes exercise, where is it now?
[Arthur:] There
[Anthony:] Where? There
[Arthur:] that's exercises
[Anthony:] Yes
[Arthur:] you just want the S off the end that's all
[Anthony:] Yeah
[Arthur:] oh put it in if you want to then...
[Anthony:] Erm
[Arthur:] it's got it in there
[Anthony:] yeah I got it, I've got it
[Arthur:] Yes
[Anthony:] right down there, but
[Arthur:] okay do they live in a house, bungalow, does it...
[Anthony:] Ignore, that's it, save that and try that... eight thousand characters
[Arthur:] So you
[Anthony:] yeah
[Arthur:] eight thousand characters
[Anthony:] Yes
[Arthur:] not eight thousand words?
[Anthony:] you find out the number of words if you spell check
[Arthur:] Go on then how many words have you got?
[Anthony:] Erm, ignore that... ignore that
[Arthur:] Ignoring a lot
[Anthony:] No just ignoring two
[Arthur:] One thousand, two hundred and
[Anthony:] One thousand, two hundred and thirty
[Arthur:] It's over twelve hundred bytes and this is in a maths
[Anthony:] Oh yeah it takes about six thousand
[Arthur:] Where does your maths come into it then?
[Anthony:] Oh later on
[Arthur:] What will it be? What will it take the form of, your maths?
[Anthony:] Oh dear
[Arthur:] Statistics?
[Anthony:] Yeah I expect it's what it is erm control format... centred, yes, statistics, the whole thing is, the paper, do it, computer
[Arthur:] pardon, you need what?
[Anthony:] Do it with the computer program, it's a lot easier, use erm grass or
[Arthur:] I thought grass was, had a lot of limits on it?
[Anthony:] Oh yes it has, you can get round it, if you use erm Basic and can run graph from Basic, and then a Basic program to counteract grass limits
[Arthur:] I put a capital J there
[Anthony:] on
[Arthur:] yeah, cos it is a title isn't it?
[Anthony:] I forgotten about doing all
[Arthur:] maths coursework
[Anthony:] How's it going?...
[Arthur:] How's it going Ton?
[Anthony:] Fineish
[Arthur:] Fineish?
[Anthony:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] That's it, good lad, is it still F seven to flip it over from
[Anthony:] No control F four, some strange, it's got a mind of its own
[Arthur:] Control
[Anthony:] What you really want is a printout of all those commands
[Arthur:] There is
[Anthony:] so you cho so you can actually print it out
[Arthur:] Well if you bought the
[speaker003:] ...
[Anthony:] It might go wrong
[Arthur:] what might go wrong? You lose it all [LAUGHTER] just a slight detail, leave the door
[Anthony:] Right, what this may explode into a thousand fragments so I'll just have to start all over again without having to print out copy
[Arthur:] Are you saving this on disk or is this going onto hard disk?
[Anthony:] Well it's the same thing
[speaker003:] The same thing
[Anthony:] save it onto hard disk
[speaker003:] all the hard disk is, is those little floppy disks on top of them
[Arthur:] Stack of them, yeah, but how d'ya get it out, are you gonna save it from the hard disk onto a floppy?
[speaker003:] Yeah, yeah
[Arthur:] That's what you're going to do?
[Anthony:] Yeah
[speaker003:] You just save it instead of when you save it you just
[Anthony:] won't be enough room to do that
[speaker003:] type A drive
[Arthur:] But, er yeah, cos if something does go wrong, if there's a power fail er now
[Anthony:] transfer save, oh that you
[Arthur:] you would be up the creek without your paddle wouldn't you?
[Anthony:] Er, no, not really
[Arthur:] Wouldn't you? Well if it didn't save it on that how does it, how do you get it back?
[speaker003:] It save it every nine minutes or something, it's got a backup save, you know on the
[Arthur:] without you telling it to save
[speaker003:] Yeah
[Arthur:] and a
[speaker003:] you can set it so it's erm, it says, backup save and you type Y or no
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker003:] and you can set it so it'll backup save every minute or every hour
[Arthur:] Really?
[speaker003:] Yeah, it's brilliant so you know on the Nimbus when it's turned itself off
[Arthur:] It won't matter
[speaker003:] you might only lose about a paragraph of work
[Arthur:] Well it depends on what you, what
[speaker003:] Ah this is good [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Your frequency is
[speaker003:] Operator
[Anthony:] Oh no
[Arthur:] Ditto, ditto... my or may? Key words
[speaker003:] Key words
[Anthony:] None
[Arthur:] None
[speaker003:] Comments
[Arthur:] Comments rubbish
[speaker003:] I hope I get an A [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] You daft thing []...
[Anthony:] Version number one
[speaker003:] Thing is when it comes up on words that
[Arthur:] How do you know, oh it's saving it onto the disk now
[Anthony:] And it tells you how much spare there is left
[Arthur:] How many bytes are free yeah
[speaker003:] Nine hundred and ninety nine characters oh
[Arthur:] A hundred and twenty four thousand, nine hundred and twenty eight bytes free
[Anthony:] Free on that disk, there's considerably more on the hard disk, ha
[speaker003:] It'll probably fill
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker003:] a hole
[Arthur:] What frequency does it save it at?
[Anthony:] You can change that escape
[Arthur:] If you want
[Anthony:] options, auto save, enter auto save into the minutes, zero for none
[Arthur:] Why don't you do it one, every minute?
[Anthony:] Erm it's just
[Arthur:] What happens if you
[Anthony:] because if, if you're editing it
[Arthur:] Yes, yeah
[Anthony:] and you don't, you don't and you make a mistake
[Arthur:] Yeah
[Anthony:] you don't want it to save it
[speaker003:] You can undo that
[Arthur:] So, so when it's auto save it's, then you edit it does it auto, will auto save again, does it take out the things already in that you've altered, that you've edited?
[speaker003:] Yeah
[Anthony:] It's just like a normal save it overrides
[Arthur:] Yeah it overwrites everything
[Anthony:] Yeah
[speaker003:] Yeah, you can
[Anthony:] You can tell it to
[speaker003:] and you can
[Arthur:] so what you, auto saving every ten minutes
[Anthony:] Yeah
[Arthur:] I think you're a bit wrong there old son
[Anthony:] No you're alright, cos sometimes you make, you, you know, you're writing and you need a flow of ten minutes cos then it interrupts and says do you want to save this?
[Arthur:] Oh I see what you mean it doesn't, it doesn't do it without you, not telling you
[Anthony:] You can, you can get it so it doesn't interrupt
[Arthur:] it just does it without you knowing it, that would be good wouldn't it?
[Anthony:] Well you can
[Arthur:] Without interrupting your flow
[Anthony:] you can but if you're, if you make a mistake
[Arthur:] Yeah
[Anthony:] it just saves it like that
[Arthur:] Yeah
[Anthony:] Oh my, oh my goodness I've lost everything
[Arthur:] You've lost the lot
[Anthony:] Yeah, so
[speaker003:] Can't you undo it though?
[Anthony:] No
[Arthur:] So it's auto save every ten minutes
[Anthony:] Yeah, with
[Arthur:] this is the window options
[Anthony:] Mm
[Arthur:] Where'd you get this program from?
[Anthony:] Dudley got it [LAUGHTER]
[speaker003:] And where did Dudley get it from?
[Anthony:] I don't know
[speaker003:] Was it
[Arthur:] was this pirated?
[Anthony:] Yeah
[speaker003:] Yeah
[Arthur:] God I, you know, shouldn't do that
[speaker003:] Nearly everything on that hard disk is pirated
[Anthony:] No, no way
[speaker003:] dad oh I'm sorry ...
[Arthur:] Oh well
[speaker003:] I never knew you were
[Arthur:] you get the law in here
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[Anthony:] Ah, rewind that tape
[Arthur:] No, staying as it is, use this in evidence
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Anthony:] Oh dear
[speaker003:] You shouldn't of brought the subject up
[Arthur:] Well you should be innocent shouldn't you?
[Anthony:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Lily white...
[Anthony:] Is anybody lily white? [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Dunno
[speaker003:] This is rather an conversation
[Arthur:] No, go on clear off
[speaker002:] He needed any
[Arthur:] leave your mum alone, Paul leave your mum alone
[speaker002:] Can you shorten that thingy then
[Arthur:] Oh be quiet...
[speaker002:] Er I don't know what we'd do without you Paul... I'm gonna, I'm gonna
[Arthur:] Potatoes are nearly ready
[speaker002:] What?
[Arthur:] have you turned them off, have you turned that thing off it'll cook in the heat that's on there won't it?
[speaker002:] Take the top off the chicken
[Arthur:] Yeah, but I mean, I'm gonna take the heat off it's pointless it blasting till the end
[speaker002:] Is it ready? Yes and the top of it
[Arthur:] And the sprouts are on, twelve minutes you say
[speaker002:] Yeah, on its
[Arthur:] You've got about twelve minutes left
[Paul:] Right okay
[Arthur:] that's what I'm warning you of I can do the gravy and all that, yeah, I can sort that out, I don't need to be told that, you're alright
[speaker002:] You want me to do the gravy?
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[speaker002:] Do you want me to do the gravy?
[Arthur:] No you're alright, Paul's good at doing the gravy
[Paul:] Am I?
[Arthur:] Is only Paul who can do gravy, so he tells us
[speaker003:] Have you got to fill all those twelve tapes up?
[Arthur:] Twenty
[speaker002:] Twenty, blimey, are they all blanks then?
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[speaker002:] Are they all blanks?
[Arthur:] That's why I've got to fill them all up because they're blank, yeah
[speaker002:] Oh my God
[Arthur:] I wouldn't be filling them up if they weren't blank, are they all blank?...
[Paul:] What did you put me down for accent?
[Arthur:] Your accent?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Outer space...
[Paul:] How, I haven't got an accent have I actually?
[Arthur:] I don't know
[Paul:] Non
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] It's non
[Arthur:] Non, neutral, neuter... now give it a chance to cook
[Paul:] Yeah it's
[Arthur:] mm, mm, if I put the chicken on Paul
[Paul:] Oh yeah...
[Arthur:] it'll only take you a second to do that, bring you, mind yourself, let me just, whoosh that's hot
[Paul:] It's smoking
[Arthur:] Right
[Paul:] it's not cooked yet
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] It's not cooked yet
[Arthur:] Oh it is well and truly cooked, tell me when
[Paul:] Whoops
[Arthur:] Oh damn can happen... that'll do won't it?
[Paul:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Plenty, just sort that bacon out, here are
[Paul:] Thank you... er
[Arthur:] What's the matter with it?
[Paul:] Looks like it's green
[Arthur:] It taste like it's green?
[Paul:] It looks like it's green
[Arthur:] It looks like it's green, yeah
[Paul:] Oh no it's horrible
[Arthur:] It's horrible is it?
[Paul:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Let's get the
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] Put that in here, that's right it'll soon get up where are the plates? Are they in the top oven?
[Paul:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Yes it's all
[Paul:] No
[Arthur:] Thank erm no... have a knife please out of the drawer, just check the sprouts, wash, they looked cooked, they looked cooked
[Paul:] Yeah that'll do
[Arthur:] They're cooked aren't they? Yeah... I'll just put them back in for twenty seconds just to get them up to heat, keep your eye on this Paul, it'll go over if you don't...
[Paul:] Yes it's started to boil now...
[Arthur:] these peas are neon ready... there we go... right
[Paul:] Yeah it's boiling
[Arthur:] It's boiled?
[Paul:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Right turn it down put the cornflour in
[Paul:] Shall I put the cornflour in?
[Arthur:] Yes, that's it, keep stirring it okay?
[speaker002:] Put the plates
[Arthur:] It's Paul
[speaker002:] aren't we?
[Arthur:] Yeah you're alright, yes
[speaker002:] Have we got the plates?
[Arthur:] you're okay, yes we've got the plates ready
[speaker002:] We're all ready
[Arthur:] We're all ready, we're just waiting for this gravy now
[Paul:] It seems to be a certain line of fat round it
[Arthur:] Where?
[speaker002:] Let's see
[Arthur:] That's okay, keep it going Paul
[speaker002:] Fat's good for you
[Arthur:] Ha... keep it going
[speaker002:] Where's the fat?
[Paul:] Can't you see it, look?
[speaker002:] That's not fat. that's not fat it's fat when you see all grease on the top
[Paul:] That
[speaker002:] Where?
[Paul:] when you pull the spatula across that's oil
[Arthur:] That's it
[Paul:] that's oil
[Arthur:] that's oil that, [LAUGHTER], that's axle grease [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Oil is fat isn't it?
[Arthur:] Yeah
[Paul:] That is oil
[speaker002:] You a good cook Paul?
[Arthur:] Of course he is, he takes after his dad
[speaker002:] Cos making the gravy
[Arthur:] takes after his dad don't you Paul?
[speaker002:] don't, don't who does the carving
[Arthur:] yeah it's coming out now, right, can you get the dish out please?... Are we ready?... Where's the steel?... Oh dear out you come, right, can we
[Paul:] Can I have a go at carving it?
[Arthur:] Yeah help yourself you'll learn
[speaker003:] ...
[Paul:] How do you know when you're getting low on batteries?
[Arthur:] How do I know what?
[Paul:] When you get low on batteries?
[Arthur:] You've got to change them every so often, mm, it tells you to, I suppose that's to stop it erm suddenly dying on you, it's sense I suppose
[Paul:] why did you
[Arthur:] Can I have the dish out, the carving dish, out of the cupboard
[Paul:] No you can't cos I can't find it
[Arthur:] It's in there
[speaker002:] I'll get it...
[Arthur:] Okey-dokey and the chicken now, open the oven, let's have that Paul, please... get the other, if I can find it, what's the matter you haven't burnt yourself have you?
[Paul:] No, it's the heat
[Arthur:] Brought it up, no leave those in, otherwise it'll get cold, er, can you get the plates out now please?
[Paul:] Why didn't they supply you with an adaptor?
[Arthur:] adaptor what?
[Paul:] So you can plug it into the mains
[Arthur:] Plug it into, oh this thing, well you can't move around then can you?
[Paul:] No, but if you stay sitting down
[Arthur:] Ha
[Paul:] Okay... plates out
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] are you gonna carve this or what?
[Paul:] Yeah I'll carve it...
[speaker002:] You want drinks er orange juice or anything, ha?
[Paul:] It's hot
[Arthur:] Is it warm Paul?
[Paul:] Just a bit
[speaker002:] Oh it's the int it?
[Arthur:] You don't carve the onion
[Paul:] Ah, don't you?
[Arthur:] No
[Paul:] What do you do with the onion then?
[Arthur:] Throw it at the cat
[speaker002:] loves the onion and she always eats the onion
[Arthur:] It happens when you're when you're brought up in the war you see, waste not, want not
[speaker002:] I hate it
[Arthur:] There you are try that side, here you are
[Paul:] How much do you do?
[Arthur:] like that at that angle
[Paul:] Aha
[Arthur:] cos if you keep following that cut then sooner or later you'll come across the, the bone okay, there, that lot
[speaker002:] The breast bone
[Arthur:] don't worry about that, right
[speaker002:] Oh you're learning to carve
[Arthur:] just inside it, he's trying to, why not?
[speaker002:] Good idea
[Arthur:] Good idea, one day you might be able to do it, oh
[speaker002:] I'm not cagy handed
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] oh he's cagy handed int
[Arthur:] No he's not, no he's not
[speaker002:] Who's left handed?
[Paul:] Tony
[Arthur:] Tony
[speaker002:] Can you that one please?
[Arthur:] Yep, what you do is see that
[speaker002:] Does, does
[Arthur:] it just lifts up, it doesn't
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] You've been trying to turn it haven't you? Never mind
[speaker002:] What a wonderful thing education is
[Arthur:] Yeah, it's called commonsense, but never mind
[speaker002:] Never mind
[Arthur:] never mind my dear
[speaker002:] never mind, er
[Arthur:] We don't need that much in there
[speaker002:] No I know, I'm going to make two glasses out of it...
[Arthur:] Be that, the best way of making this, can I show you?
[speaker002:] You get a jug
[Arthur:] Make a jug full yeah, seriously oh, okay
[Paul:] What do you do now?
[Arthur:] Now you start to share it out onto the plate
[speaker002:] Now you do the legs
[Arthur:] No you don't, no you share it out first and then you see if you need to do the legs... or we can have the legs, the legs on, on butties or or a curry, yes... okey-dokey, here we go
[speaker002:] He likes chicken breasts
[Arthur:] Oh good, that's enough for Philip, yeah
[Paul:] No, no this is Philip's
[Arthur:] Oh, okay, that's alright, okay
[speaker002:] What I, I carved the chicken
[Arthur:] I carved the chicken
[speaker002:] I tell you what I can't do is carve
[Arthur:] Sing
[Paul:] there's a technique isn't there?
[speaker002:] carve meat
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Oh aye
[Arthur:] I like the way he gets bits of fingers in it, you know
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] yeah, that's the bone, it takes a lot of skill that getting a bit go on then
[Paul:] Who wants a leg?
[Arthur:] Erm, yeah, put a leg on somebody's, it doesn't matter who and then we can sort out later, is that, that the right number of plates?
[Paul:] Six
[Arthur:] Two, four, six, yeah, that's alright, yeah, leave that there
[Paul:] Shall I just dish
[Arthur:] no leave that there
[Paul:] another leg
[Arthur:] ha takes one to know one
[Paul:] Ah, damn... okay...
[speaker002:] Where'd you get those from for the
[Arthur:] Get the what from?
[speaker002:] the tops for these
[Arthur:] For what love?
[speaker002:] That's enough
[Arthur:] oh no, you'll want a bit more than that in
[Paul:] Shall I carve the
[speaker002:] You reckon?
[Arthur:] Yes, yes
[speaker002:] It's very strong that one
[Arthur:] I know it's very strong right up to the bottom erm, where'd I get what from?
[speaker002:] Those top, those new tops
[Arthur:] that, it came with it
[speaker002:] Oh I've seen him with
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Can it be put on a, on a coffee jar? No
[Arthur:] A coffee jar?
[speaker002:] cos it hasn't got the screw
[Arthur:] Not with it
[speaker002:] The, it has, you know the old coffee jars when you empty them
[Arthur:] Oh I know what you mean
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Er, no, never thought of that, to tell you the truth now these sprouts mother, these sprouts they've been cooked in the microwave for twelve minutes okay, well we don't know yet, until
[speaker002:] Oh that onion's beautiful int it?
[Paul:] to keep it open
[Arthur:] put sprouts, sprouts in a microwave and veg cooked in a microwave and, if you can get it right
[speaker002:] If I can say
[Arthur:] you must get one of these you know, oh yes
[speaker002:] Must get one a microwave if Debbie comes home I think, I'll see, I've been saying that but I was thinking if, I'll have to wait and see Debbie
[Arthur:] They are nice, they are good things to have
[speaker002:] whether Hank them
[Arthur:] Oh he's not... right, are you ready with the, with that Paul?
[Paul:] Try and get to boil again
[Arthur:] Pardon? No it doesn't matter seriously, turn it up, right up...
[Paul:] They are, okay
[Arthur:] Right up, okay
[Paul:] I'll put it in a jug shall I?
[Arthur:] Yes
[speaker002:] Arthur, if he comes home as brass as
[Arthur:] you can do mine in here Paul if you want
[speaker002:] a button
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] it'll be a waste of time
[Arthur:] How would it be a waste of time?
[speaker002:] Well, he'll, he'll wait up for his meals
[Arthur:] Oh I see what you mean, no I don't think he'll come home as bright as a button, somehow or other I think, I think you'll get the bright times won't you, like he's been in hospital
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] but he's been really really on the ball, but I don't think it's gonna happen much, not for a month or two...
[Paul:] What you, you've got to keep it
[Arthur:] you want something on your, you want something on your feet or
[Paul:] I know
[Arthur:] old son, you're gonna stand on something sharp or something hot spilt on them and you are gonna scream
[speaker002:] And now where er, what you doing with the gravy, put it, let the people
[Arthur:] Paul's
[speaker002:] put their own on
[Arthur:] Paul's got it in the bowl, in a, in a, on a bowl?
[speaker002:] was that Philip's that little one?
[Paul:] The one with the leg is Philip's
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Right
[Arthur:] if he doesn't like his bacon we'll have it, tell him
[speaker002:] If you don't want your bacon
[Arthur:] cos there's one here without bacon... you done 'em? Right who want there's a leg here, bits and bobs have you told your mum Tony that dinner's, can you tell her yeah, I'll have that, the other two, bring the gravy through, here he is with the gravy
[speaker002:] In here with the gravy
[Arthur:] Paul and the gravy
[speaker002:] Who's having er what? Oh I don't want the leg
[Arthur:] That's not yours, you can sit wherever you like
[speaker002:] I'll sit on
[Arthur:] Paula, Paula, it's all out, come on
[Paula:] Oh what a lot of you have some
[Arthur:] oh we haven't put the, Paul you haven't put the stuffing on
[Paul:] Oh no shock, horror
[Arthur:] Can you get the stuffing on a plate okay
[speaker002:] Tony
[Arthur:] taste nice that
[speaker002:] do you want more potatoes because I can't eat these
[speaker003:] Yeah I'll have
[Arthur:] One potato
[speaker002:] rather than start and
[Arthur:] oh
[Philip:] Are we on air?
[Arthur:] We're all on air, we have been all morning
[speaker002:] Who's on air?
[Arthur:] You are
[speaker002:] Oh God
[Arthur:] while you've been swearing and that been going ever so, police'll be round tomorrow
[speaker002:] What doing?
[Arthur:] Arresting you
[speaker002:] What for?
[Arthur:] Yes
[Paula:] That is terrible
[speaker002:] Ooh what a lovely dinner between us
[Philip:] Now do you have to re play it back to get the voices in the order?
[Arthur:] No, I can remember forty five minutes' worth no problem, oh Tony er Paul get erm a bowl, erm, a dish, a dish, don't put it ah
[speaker002:] Take it, no way out, it hasn't got a pourer
[Arthur:] He's put the wrong one, he's put a soup bowl out
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] give the lad a chance
[speaker002:] It hasn't got a squirter
[Paul:] Is that why it goes like that?
[speaker002:] Yes you've got to have a
[Philip:] A lip
[speaker002:] the one with a lip like this
[Paul:] Can't put it into my
[Arthur:] well this looks good
[Paula:] This is delicious
[Arthur:] Mm, oh it's beautiful, oh, oh best meal this year, oh
[Paula:] Paul made the gravy
[speaker002:] Who made the gravy?
[Paul:] I made the gravy
[Paula:] Paul made the gravy
[Paul:] and I carved half the chicken
[Arthur:] Yeah he's been carving the chicken, yeah
[Paula:] Don't forget your stuffing Arthur, do you want your stuffing?
[Paul:] They are
[Arthur:] Erm, no
[Paula:] ah nice one Tony
[speaker002:] I tell you what's nice stuffing if they have it in Ulster Paula, is the chestnut one
[Arthur:] Yeah it is nice that, yeah
[speaker002:] it's a nice one that
[Paul:] Is it one that Ken and Margaret used to have?
[speaker002:] Mm
[Anthony:] What was that?
[Arthur:] Have you had your, have you had a sprout?
[speaker002:] Mm
[Arthur:] Aren't they nice?
[Anthony:] Yeah they're quite nice
[speaker002:] Oh you're a wonderful cook Arthur
[Arthur:] Keep 'em coming...
[Paul:] Why've you got a glass here? Why've I've got a glass and no one else got a glass?
[Arthur:] No if you look around
[speaker002:] Cos you're having wine, would you like the spare?
[Arthur:] there's six glasses
[Philip:] Everybody's got a glass
[Paul:] Yeah, but why I've got a wine glass and everybody
[speaker002:] Well we thought you were having a Concorde you see
[Arthur:] That's for carving the chicken
[speaker002:] You can have another one...
[Philip:] Who didn't give it a stir
[Paula:] Me
[speaker002:] those are nice
[Philip:] It's all at the bottom
[speaker002:] in the microwave those sprouts are, did you put water on them?
[Arthur:] Tiny bit well not just a tiny bit, you put about half way up don't you Paul? You don't cover them in water...
[speaker002:] Nice aren't they?
[Arthur:] Mm, they hold the flavour better don't they?
[speaker002:] Yeah, get the taste of the sprouts
[Paula:] they must be good for you
[speaker002:] No it's a bit like pressure cooking ain't it?
[Arthur:] Yeah, we're under a lot of pressure, yeah
[speaker002:] Mm
[Paula:] Who's going
[Philip:] You're a cook?
[Paula:] to visit grandpa this afternoon?
[Paul:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] Who's going this afternoon?
[Arthur:] I'll go
[Philip:] I'll go this evening
[Arthur:] I'll go this afternoon taking me pack of cards this afternoon and a crib board
[Paul:] Oh, I'll, I'll go with you this afternoon then
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] What to play crib?
[Paul:] It's a
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker002:] Who's going this evening then? Paul and I
[Arthur:] We, we could get a crib school going Tony
[Anthony:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] all bring their drips over and er God knows what [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] You might find he's very tired this afternoon
[Anthony:] Why?
[speaker002:] Well because they've had, instead of having this sleep, they'll, they'll have had their consultants round
[Arthur:] Mm, true
[speaker002:] so that you may find that father isn't up to it today... he'd have missed this morning's siesta
[Paula:] Can't he have a siesta in the evening?
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER] he can only have a siesta
[Paula:] A siesta is an afternoon sleep
[speaker002:] afternoon sleep
[Arthur:] No it's not, it's just a sleep
[Paula:] It isn't, a siesta is an afternoon sleep
[Arthur:] Oh it's just a sleep a siesta
[Paula:] It's not
[Arthur:] a sleep taking during the day
[Paul:] No it's not
[Arthur:] you can have a morning siesta
[Paula:] I would say a siesta is
[Arthur:] an afternoon siesta
[Paula:] a sleep afternoon
[Paul:] Mm
[Arthur:] Granted, it's a sleep taken during the day... cos you're naked
[Paula:] You're wrong
[speaker002:] After he's had his lunch he might be sleepy... it's only quarter past one well it's they, he'll be having his lunch now
[Paul:] One fourteen and fifty nine seconds
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] then he'll button down for a bit
[Arthur:] Mm, mm...
[speaker002:] he was very sorry yesterday
[Arthur:] What?
[speaker002:] he decided to have liver
[Paula:] And it wasn't mum's
[speaker002:] and he said it was horrible
[Arthur:] What was it?
[speaker002:] It was ox liver
[Arthur:] Oh yeah... it's a bit sharp that ain't it?
[speaker002:] Mm, it's very strong ox liver
[Philip:] You know that liver's very high in cholesterol
[Anthony:] No
[speaker002:] Is it?
[Philip:] Mm, mm
[Arthur:] It should be
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] It shouldn't be high in cholesterol
[Philip:] Cos they've been on about people all the
[Anthony:] Sugar goes into erm fat I think
[speaker002:] You don't, this is a much nicer meal, isn't it?
[Arthur:] Than what?
[Anthony:] Vice versa
[Paul:] Yeah depends what it is
[speaker002:] Than yesterday
[Arthur:] What did we have yesterday?
[speaker002:] home cooking
[Arthur:] oh you and, you and Sally had the same, at the pub
[speaker002:] Pardon?
[Arthur:] How much did they charge you for that down the pub?
[Paula:] I was disappointed in it
[speaker002:] I was disa
[Arthur:] Oh we weren't were we Ton?
[Anthony:] No
[Philip:] He said he was surprised at all the things that
[Paula:] Where we went was
[Philip:] were high in fat is and he was surprised
[Arthur:] Well I'm sorry but where we went it was great weren't it Tom?
[Paula:] Well last time I went to that one it was okay
[Arthur:] There you are then
[Paula:] weren't it?
[Anthony:] Mm
[Paula:] but that, yesterday I was very disappointed
[Arthur:] Did you tell them?
[Paula:] The first time we went
[Arthur:] We had a great meal
[Paula:] we had a
[Arthur:] didn't we Ton?
[Anthony:] Yeah. What did you have?
[Paula:] Well the first time we went when we went all together didn't we?
[Arthur:] We had erm, what did we have Tony? It was erm salt and vinegar crisps and a packet of pork scratchings
[speaker002:] It was nothing unusual was it?
[Arthur:] No
[speaker002:] There wasn't anything unusual on the menu
[Arthur:] No, ours wasn't, was it? Ours wasn't, but what was there was good that's right
[speaker002:] Oh yes it was good wasn't it?
[Arthur:] so you'd expect it to be up to
[Paula:] Some sort of standard
[speaker002:] Bernie's are about, usually very good
[Arthur:] Yeah some standard or other
[Paula:] I was very, very disappointed
[speaker002:] Oh the service was poor wasn't it Paul? I mean, I mean she brought the
[Paul:] No she had a smiling face
[speaker002:] She, she was a very nice girl
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] well she brought the meal and she, she had to go miles to get the sauce, didn't she?
[Paul:] Yeah, she made it
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER] She made it, mm
[Paul:] cos about two minutes later she come back with it
[speaker002:] Just with the sauce where you'd think she took the order
[Arthur:] This chicken's good isn't it? Chicken's good isn't it?
[Paul:] Mm
[speaker002:] It's beautiful chicken
[Paul:] I think the carving bit's the best
[speaker002:] Oh I do, I think the carving's brilliant
[Paul:] Only on the left hand side of the chicken
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Anything left?
[Arthur:] Let me think who did it
[Paul:] I don't know erm
[Arthur:] Don't know
[Paul:] this what we last night dad
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] It's beautiful... I love chicken
[Arthur:] It's good for you ain't it?...
[speaker002:] It's a good meal
[Paul:] This is a good time when you can't make rude noises...
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Arthur:] Mm, mm [humming]
[Paul:] Throw us the bin
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] Throw us the bin...
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker002:] We should of done some more roasties for you shouldn't we?
[Arthur:] Are you hungry?
[speaker002:] Well they like roasties and I didn't realize...
[Philip:] sit there going ssss
[Paul:] Ha
[Arthur:] oh, enjoyed that, good meal
[Anthony:] What we having for pudding?
[speaker002:] There's a tin of
[Paula:] there's ice cream I bought them
[speaker002:] and ice cream
[Anthony:] Could I have erm, rice pudding?
[speaker002:] No
[Anthony:] Ah no
[Paula:] Gonna have that tin of pears
[speaker002:] have that later
[Paula:] and there's ice cream
[speaker002:] there's er, erm big tub of ice cream
[Paula:] Put it in the bowl and bring the ice cream out so it can thaw. Tony does the pears you bring the ice cream
[Paul:] Did you know the word Yorkshire pudding is in the English dictionary?
[Arthur:] Why?
[Paul:] Yorkshire pudding [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] I think I'll have the rest of that please Paula, good...
[speaker002:] Stanley go away, er, erm Yorkshire pudding didn't he?
[Arthur:] Did he?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] How did it go? Can't remember
[speaker002:] I don't know how it goes I've forgotten but it... it's from the angels do the next thing, ha
[Arthur:] What? [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] yeah, pancake day on Tuesday
[Arthur:] Next Tuesday?
[speaker002:] Mm, we all make pancakes
[Arthur:] Right, we're all gonna make pancakes
[Paul:] When's pancake day?
[Arthur:] throw them up, catch them
[Paul:] When is it?
[Paula:] Have them for school
[speaker002:] we could have a trial run oh Paul's
[Paula:] Then we'll all have the school dinners
[Paul:] Go away
[Paula:] then in the afternoon we have pancakes for his pancake races a real good day
[Arthur:] Bet it, bet it goes flat on you though
[speaker002:] Shall we have a competition, ha, ha, ha...
[Arthur:] No
[speaker002:] what's he having lemon put on yours
[Arthur:] just see who can be sick first I think
[speaker002:] Oh shut up
[Paul:] Liver pancakes
[Arthur:] Who's eaten the most pancakes, oh
[speaker002:] maple syrup
[Paul:] I had
[Arthur:] I had and I went green
[Paul:] Oh there's a bird on the bird feeder
[Arthur:] Pardon? Pardon?
[Paula:] Children can go in the kitchen and cook them
[Arthur:] Make a load in there how'd you know?
[Paula:] Double checked it
[Paul:] what about the chicken machine, what if they put no the automatic potato peeler
[Paula:] It's good, it's lovely there
[speaker002:] Does the vicar come for the race?
[Arthur:] Have you invited him?
[Paula:] Barry came last year, but
[speaker002:] I mean the vicar usually comes for the pancake race doesn't he?
[Paula:] Oh, I
[Arthur:] Gives the pancakes his blessing
[speaker002:] Mm, oh it's just tradition
[Paula:] I don't know if they'll do that
[speaker002:] Really?
[Paul:] We have pancakes for school dinner
[Paula:] Ah, but don't make them
[Paul:] No because there's three hundred people in the school
[speaker002:] Children to dress up in little
[Arthur:] Pancakes
[speaker002:] mop caps and
[Paula:] We have Easter bunny come to our school
[Paul:] Well yours are silly
[speaker002:] Hide the Easter eggs
[Paula:] Easter bunny
[Arthur:] Hides Easter eggs, Easter bunny does somebody dress up as an Easter bunny?
[speaker002:] No
[Arthur:] I could just see it [LAUGHTER] a local farmer coming out with his gun
[Anthony:] Ooh ah
[Arthur:] ah I've got it, bang
[Paula:] Easter bunny
[speaker002:] You hide all the eggs and the
[Paula:] no, no, I do Pauline and Pat climb out the window
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paula:] hide the eggs
[Paul:] What eggs are they?
[Arthur:] Climb out the window
[Paula:] and the telephone go
[Arthur:] and then you climb back in
[Paula:] and then you climb back in and then the telephone goes
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paula:] said these
[Arthur:] oh God just see it [LAUGHTER]
[Paula:] and then they go, the kids go out and look for them
[Arthur:] who, who telephones?
[Paula:] Anybody we can get
[speaker002:] I'll telephone
[Paul:] Why don't you just dial
[speaker002:] I'll telephone you Paula
[Paul:] and then that re and that just phones itself up
[Paula:] Oh does it?
[Arthur:] does it cost you anything then?
[Paul:] No
[Anthony:] No
[Arthur:] Oh there you are
[Paul:] And you phone up and it goes hello Mr bunny oh
[Philip:] You wanna see, the kids' ll see you dialling
[speaker002:] It's Bugs Bunny
[Paula:] No they won't, they'll just hear the tone, tone
[speaker002:] the Easter bunny has arrived
[Arthur:] Well if you, if you dialled and put it down and walked away from it then it rings, oh
[Paula:] No, I'm in the hall and the telephone rings in the office
[Arthur:] Oh they hear it ringing do they?
[Paula:] and they bring telephone through
[Arthur:] So the, so the door's slightly open, so they can hear the, oh, oh what a surprise, oh
[speaker003:] oh
[Paula:] it is the Easter bunny talking to me
[speaker002:] do you think your mother, your grandma should dress up with a mop on the back
[Paula:] top drawer, top drawer, bottom drawer, middle drawer, well I don't know
[speaker002:] a bobble on her, on her back [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] You just get out the path, you just get down the school path
[Arthur:] All these kids are growing up, yeah, thinking there's this bunny dropped eggs, Easter eggs all over the place
[speaker002:] Well I can remember my my grandchildren coming to our house
[Paula:] The national curriculum has nothing on her
[speaker002:] can't you Paul? And grandpa lifting you up
[Paul:] Oh yes and the cuckoo clock you used to
[speaker002:] and setting the cuckoo off
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] The cuckoo clock used to lay Cadbury's Creme Eggs yeah
[Paula:] Do you know, do you know what we did with that, that Cadbury's Creme
[Paul:] What?
[Paula:] we gave it to Tony
[Paul:] Really?
[speaker002:] He couldn't eat it
[Arthur:] Oh what a pity, he's, Paula you're dribbling
[Paul:] Er
[Arthur:] er
[Paula:] And what happened?
[speaker002:] Oh can't you remember these coming to our house?
[Arthur:] Oh yeah, yeah
[speaker002:] Well
[Arthur:] thing is too, at Christmas we used to have the erm, when we lived in Buxton we used to have the front bedroom where they, do you remember Paul, and the bay underneath it? Yeah
[Paul:] yeah
[Arthur:] and we used to hang out of there on, on a long, long string all these bells and jangle them on Christmas Eve oh yeah, yeah
[speaker002:] Oh we used to do this at home
[Arthur:] yeah and er oh Santa's here and that, God
[speaker002:] Well, grandpa used to do this with these, when they were little
[Arthur:] I, I used to throw a handkerchief through the door, do you remember that?
[Paul:] No
[Paula:] Oh yes
[Arthur:] Do you remember that?
[Paula:] you used to think that there were
[Arthur:] I had magic, I could throw a handkerchief through the door
[speaker002:] I remember Paul putting out all the plate for the reindeer
[Arthur:] Oh yeah, the carrots, the mince pies
[speaker002:] Carrots, mince pie and the
[Paul:] Don't swing on your chair otherwise you'll break your neck
[speaker002:] oh that was rather a nice thing to do though for Easter
[Paula:] What break your neck?
[Arthur:] What break your neck? [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] No, for, for Easter
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] Break your neck
[Arthur:] What an Easter bunny?
[speaker002:] Mm, an Easter bunny, now
[Arthur:] So you have an Easter bunny coming do you?
[Paula:] We have pancake game, we do all the traditions, pancake
[speaker002:] I tell you another thing they do
[Arthur:] What about harvest time, do you have all the traditions then?
[Paula:] We only have harvest
[Arthur:] do you, do you burn somebody in the
[speaker002:] In the stew
[Arthur:] in the man, in the big man?
[Philip:] Throw them out
[speaker002:] You don't want a
[Arthur:] Put a, put a all the traditions, nothing like the good old days
[speaker002:] Another, another thing you can do for Easter, another thing is, er you can go back to the old tradition of the pay sex
[Arthur:] The what?
[speaker002:] The pay sex
[Arthur:] Rolling them down the hill?
[speaker002:] Yeah, rolling them down the
[Anthony:] Anybody seen the tin opener?
[speaker002:] Yeah it's in the bathroom drawer
[Paula:] Bottom drawer
[speaker002:] It's right in the bottom drawer
[Anthony:] Oh
[Arthur:] It's where it shouldn't be
[speaker002:] The, sorry, er, you know the pay sex
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] You boil the
[Anthony:] What?
[Arthur:] Sounds stupid [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] you boil eggs you know ordinary eggs
[Paula:] Hand me the plates go on you go and get me a spoon
[Arthur:] and you roll them down the hill
[speaker002:] In, in onion skins
[Paul:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and then you colour them or you could use er
[Arthur:] Did you know
[speaker002:] chenille
[Arthur:] if you want to dye wool, onions are a great dye for dyeing wool
[speaker002:] Yeah, you want to see Hilary's
[Paula:] Dye
[speaker002:] dyes, they're on plastic, do you know what she does, she gathers all the plants and herbs
[Arthur:] Mm, yeah that's right
[speaker002:] and she brought up, she had a bag as big as a bin liner
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] she'd been up to Scotland
[Paula:] Oh well done son
[speaker002:] and she got enough different colours
[Arthur:] Where, where'd she get them from?
[speaker002:] She just goes er walking over the moors
[Arthur:] Wild flowers
[speaker002:] No
[Paula:] How many
[speaker002:] No
[Paula:] how many people walking
[Arthur:] Or people's gardens
[speaker002:] No
[Paula:] use grasses
[Arthur:] Yeah, you can get some cracking colours
[speaker002:] Oh hers are fabulous
[Paul:] How many people want them? I've only got four
[speaker002:] and she
[Arthur:] Hold on, the lad wants to know, he's talking to you
[Paul:] How many people want, do you want
[Philip:] I only want ice cream, thanks
[Paul:] Mum?
[speaker002:] You'll have a pear
[Paula:] Yes
[Paul:] Dad?
[speaker002:] Have a pear
[Arthur:] Put that away we don't want it
[speaker002:] yes we have
[Arthur:] that's gotta go in the box
[speaker002:] a pear
[Arthur:] Can we have a couple of spoons, yes Tony just a couple
[Paula:] Take the
[Arthur:] That goes in the box Paul
[Paula:] take the plates to the dishwasher
[speaker002:] No she
[Paula:] Those are soups
[speaker002:] first of all she
[Paul:] I know
[speaker002:] she spins her wool, she gets one and, and does her own spinning and weave and then she dyes
[Paul:] Philip, you're nearly finished
[speaker002:] Yeah take it that way
[Paula:] take fourth time, please will you take the
[speaker002:] and she
[Arthur:] Hold on just a moment
[speaker002:] Ah, he wants a pear, another plate please
[Arthur:] does anybody want, do you want
[Anthony:] Yes please
[Arthur:] Who doesn't want?
[speaker002:] Nobody, everybody wants
[Arthur:] Well then somebody's gonna be short here cos we only got five
[Paula:] Bring another bowl
[Philip:] I only want one pear I don't want two
[Arthur:] It doesn't matter
[speaker002:] He only wants
[Arthur:] can you get a bowl
[Philip:] Oh I thought it was pears you were short of
[Arthur:] No
[speaker002:] Not short of pears
[Arthur:] a couple, a couple of pears here
[speaker002:] And she dyes all her er wool and she's got the most
[Paula:] Here take these
[speaker002:] fabulous colours
[Arthur:] Really?
[Paul:] Yeah, I'll
[Paula:] Put the kettle on
[speaker002:] I think
[Philip:] and er, things like that
[speaker002:] The, what was the one that was very unusual
[Arthur:] That was spot on
[Philip:] There was two what they expect them to be
[speaker002:] Yeah, beetroot
[Arthur:] Yeah, yeah, done that
[speaker002:] beetroot
[Arthur:] I did this with a group of children years ago in erm, in Buxton
[Paula:] I did it when when we went to camp while we went
[Arthur:] Yeah
[Paula:] we laid, we all laid on our own
[Arthur:] yeah, off you go
[Paul:] Thank you
[Paula:] Away
[Anthony:] Rolling, rolling, rolling
[speaker002:] If that's Philip's just a small
[Paula:] Right
[Paul:] The ice cream, did you know ice cream
[speaker002:] I
[Paul:] is the most common way of catching salmonella?
[speaker002:] Yes
[Paul:] Especially after eating chicken
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Oh you tell us Paul won't you?
[Arthur:] and bouncy ice cream that bounces around
[speaker002:] Bouncy ice cream
[Paul:] it's even worse
[Paula:] Ice cream Paul
[speaker002:] Put another spoonful on there I don't want it, if that's mine, I don't want any juice
[Arthur:] Right, you don't
[speaker002:] No...
[Paula:] Do you want some more ice cream?
[Paul:] Yeah another spoonful please... brilliant
[speaker002:] That's Philip's
[Arthur:] Oh he doesn't want ice cream
[speaker002:] Doesn't want ice cream
[Arthur:] You don't want anything else on there do you?
[speaker002:] Oh yes I wanted ice cream
[Paul:] Oh, I've only got five
[Arthur:] Ice cream on that
[Paul:] dad I brought five
[Paula:] Five what?
[Arthur:] Five what?
[Paul:] Erm
[Arthur:] Your bowl?
[Paul:] There aren't six, one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four, oh
[speaker002:] It's magic that
[Paul:] I ain't got a bowl
[speaker002:] it's magic that
[Arthur:] Does anybody want more juice?
[Paula:] No ta
[Paul:] No
[Arthur:] There's more juice
[speaker002:] Ah, it's magic
[Arthur:] Paul do you want some more juice?
[Paul:] Yes please
[Arthur:] Go on, that's enough, yeah oh
[Paul:] Yeah
[Arthur:] fill it up
[Paul:] fill her up
[Arthur:] er, he had a
[Paul:] We ought to start speaking in Spanish so the people who read this dictionary don't understand it [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Oh, my God
[speaker002:] I don't think it's actually
[Arthur:] Erm Tony can I have your, do you want some more juice?
[Anthony:] Er, ah, yeah please
[Arthur:] Erm pass it down then
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Teapot
[speaker002:] Is that enough ice cream now?
[Arthur:] That's plenty, loads
[speaker002:] Put the lid on, put that back in the erm freezer top
[Anthony:] Be it Cornish
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker002:] Did you put the kettle on as well Paul?
[Paul:] No
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] Right
[speaker002:] No it's funny though, I'm, colours come up totally different don't they?
[Arthur:] Mm, what you'd expect
[speaker002:] Yes
[Philip:] Yeah, when you do your own dyeing
[speaker002:] your dyeing
[Philip:] you know, plant that you pick and you think what's that gonna be
[Arthur:] Berries and
[Anthony:] Red and it turned out black
[Philip:] green
[speaker002:] She does things out of the garden like sage and thyme
[Arthur:] And rosemary
[speaker002:] and parsley and
[Philip:] What's the national flower of England, the, the, the one that used to be on the thruppenny bit?
[Paula:] Thistle
[Arthur:] Thistle
[Philip:] No, not, not the thistle the
[Arthur:] Portcullis
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[Philip:] Not wattle, it's er
[Paula:] It used to be a thistle on the little thruppenny
[Philip:] It wasn't it, thistle's the Scottish one, it's that round, the frown with the round head and
[Paula:] a thistle
[Philip:] That wasn't a thistle on a thruppenny bit
[Paula:] Are you sure?
[speaker002:] Go and get one of the old thruppenny bits
[Paul:] I'm eating my
[Philip:] It's not a thistle it's a er
[speaker002:] A rose
[Philip:] No it's not the rose
[Paul:] Portcullis
[Arthur:] Daffodil
[speaker002:] A petunia
[Arthur:] Cabbage
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[Philip:] It's a wild flower
[speaker002:] It's a wild flower
[Paul:] A daisy, a nettle
[Philip:] Is it thrift?
[speaker002:] Thrift
[Paul:] I don't know what a thrift is
[speaker002:] We've got a
[Paul:] as far as I know a thrift to be a large mongoose inhabiting the
[Arthur:] Mm
[Paul:] upper
[Paula:] well don't eat it so quickly
[Arthur:] I'm not eating it quickly at all, it's just catching a filling every time I eat it.
[Paula:] Don't eat it, don't eat
[speaker002:] I think Cornish ice cream is delicious
[Paul:] Especially as it melts and forms a
[speaker002:] don't you think Tony?
[Arthur:] This Cornish ice cream?
[Paula:] Mm, not as nice as
[Anthony:] Eldercar
[Arthur:] Eldercar's ice cream is brilliant
[speaker002:] Who's Eldercar?
[Paul:] It's, it's
[Arthur:] Just made out of cream and fruit, nothing else
[Paul:] it's
[Paula:] and no additives
[speaker002:] Mm, this one's lovely
[Philip:] Got wobbles in it?
[Paul:] Bubbles, bubbles
[Philip:] Wobble, wobble banana
[Arthur:] You ain't tasted nothing yet
[speaker002:] Can you buy it anywhere?
[Arthur:] from the corner shop, oh no where else, no, no
[speaker002:] You can't buy it that's what I mean, can you buy it anywhere?...
[Paula:] You have it, it's beautiful...
[Paul:] Are you take it to ho... the hospital? For grandpa
[Arthur:] What?
[speaker002:] And supposing it melts and we have to
[Paul:] No
[Philip:] No he means the
[Paul:] the recording stuff
[Philip:] the recording
[Arthur:] Mm...
[Paul:] You can tell him that joke can't ya?
[Philip:] What joke?
[Arthur:] Which joke's that one? Oh aye yes
[Paul:] you start laughing
[Paula:] Keep it clean
[Paul:] no
[Arthur:] What's the Irish contraceptive? You know what it was?
[Philip:] We've heard it don't
[speaker002:] Don't
[Paula:] Oh no we've heard it
[Arthur:] Right then
[speaker002:] no we don't
[Arthur:] no, no, no
[Paul:] Just say it quietly so that the people can get the joke
[speaker002:] It's not very nice
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] It's funny
[speaker002:] it's not very nice
[Paul:] it's funny though
[Arthur:] No it's not you're right... [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] It's about as good as your erm
[Anthony:] Everybody in the ward was laughing about erm, what you call it? erm, what, Only Fools and Horses
[Paul:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] That was on was it?
[Paula:] If anything he seemed to be a bit more brightly yesterday overall weren't he?
[Arthur:] Mm
[Philip:] Did you not take it away with you on your weekend away?
[Arthur:] No... going up erm
[Philip:] Oh
[Arthur:] anything could happen to him
[Philip:] Yeah that's
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[Philip:] interesting conversation possibly
[Arthur:] Yeah interesting recording bits half way up Snowdon
[Paula:] Mm, that was delicious
[speaker002:] Mm, it was
[Arthur:] It just imagine doing this in the weather that we had, God, up to here, wind and rain
[speaker002:] Right whose pears are those Paul? Those are nice, I want some pears
[Paula:] Tea or coffee mother?
[speaker002:] Coffee mother
[Paula:] Tea or coffee father?
[Paul:] Both
[Arthur:] Nothing thanks
[Paula:] Nothing right
[speaker002:] Do you want a cup of tea Philip?
[Philip:] Tea please
[Anthony:] Did you hear about the Scout Club?
[Paul:] What?
[Anthony:] Makes
[Paul:] oh no
[Arthur:] Who's had a mixture of tea and coffee, you?
[Anthony:] Yeah, Scout Club, it's delicious
[Arthur:] Oh God
[speaker002:] Oh that was weren't it?
[Anthony:] Have ya, have that er maybe tried it, it's really nice
[Arthur:] Hot or cold?
[Anthony:] Hot
[Arthur:] Sugared and milked?
[Anthony:] sug sugared and milked, yeah
[Paul:] Ooh
[Arthur:] Paula, Paula
[Paul:] make them mixed
[Paula:] Yes love
[Arthur:] Tony wants
[speaker002:] Tea and coffee mixed
[Arthur:] tea, coffee mixed
[Paul:] With milk and sugar
[Arthur:] milk and sugar, it's lovely
[Philip:] You've all got
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] You know
[Arthur:] Winding your mum up [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] You know at the camp, it's going, are you going again this year, the one you went to up the road?
[Arthur:] Which one up the road?
[speaker002:] Up on the, on the main road at that big house you went...
[Arthur:] When?
[speaker002:] when was it last year or the year before?
[Arthur:] Oh I don't remember
[speaker002:] Oh we k we went to have a look at them in in the
[Anthony:] Oh, that's not up the road it's Hertford
[speaker002:] Hertford
[Arthur:] Hertford
[Anthony:] Yeah
[Arthur:] it's down the road, it's not up the road at all, it's down the road, it's miles away, up the road
[speaker002:] It didn't seem miles away
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] with a big house [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Tell you what walk it and you'll find that
[Anthony:] There's no big houses
[speaker002:] I thought there was a big house in the grounds
[Arthur:] Where was it Tony the one near Woodbridge that one?
[Anthony:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Yeah the one in er
[Arthur:] Oh we went past the farm up to it, there's a farm on the left
[Anthony:] Tiny ho farm shop
[speaker002:] Oh I don't
[Arthur:] where you got the water from?
[speaker002:] up the ground, that grounds and a big house
[Arthur:] Oh there's a what you call it at the end, the old folks' retirement home isn't there
[speaker002:] Oh...
[Arthur:] somebody's formed a country residence
[Paula:] If you boil up that chicken carcass we'll have some of grandma's soup
[Paul:] Ah
[Paula:] with suet dumplings
[speaker002:] But we'll have some carrots
[Paula:] I'll send Tony to the shops
[speaker002:] and some leeks
[Arthur:] You can get those out the guinea pigs cage
[Paula:] Well I'll sent Tony to the shops he can buy
[Arthur:] get the car they wouldn't of eaten all the carrots yet
[speaker002:] It's, they're closed today
[Paula:] It's not
[Arthur:] Thursday
[Paula:] it's not closed today
[Arthur:] Mum, mum says there is
[speaker002:] Wednesday
[Paula:] Wednesday it's closed
[speaker002:] Well what day is it today?
[Philip:] Thursday
[Arthur:] Sunday
[Paula:] Yes
[speaker002:] Oh it's Thursday oh good
[Paula:] I'll tell Ton I send you to the shop, you get a frozen packet of
[Anthony:] Yeah
[Paula:] stew vegetables and you just shove those in and that's it
[speaker002:] Oh I don't I get fresh carrots and leeks and
[Arthur:] You should do, you should do, yeah get something like that Tony
[Philip:] Yeah, but then it saves you getting all the bits and
[Arthur:] That's a proper job though isn't it mother? Do it that
[Paula:] And
[Arthur:] way, yeah, but if he gets fresh, a bit of fresh some fresh leeks and fresh
[speaker002:] It's alright
[Paula:] you won't get vegetables in, in
[speaker002:] no
[Arthur:] I don't
[Anthony:] How about going to
[Paula:] They're even worse
[Arthur:] Don't swing on your chair you'll break your neck
[speaker002:] The trouble is during the week, a lot of little shops only have what's been left over from the weekend... and their vegetables, cos that's what happens at ours
[Arthur:] Mm, yeah
[speaker002:] and then on the Friday
[Arthur:] You get a fresh lot in
[speaker002:] a fresh lot in
[Paula:] If you get
[Arthur:] When did you get that vase? Or when did we get that vase?
[Paul:] That was from erm Sharon
[Arthur:] Was it?
[Paula:] Sharon
[Arthur:] it's very nice innit?
[Paula:] Er
[Arthur:] You're not eating again are you? God
[Paula:] I just fancy a biscuit
[Paul:] Tony your tea, coffee here
[speaker002:] Sha er is Sharon still going around
[Anthony:] Is that tea and coffee?
[Paul:] there, there isn't enough milk in it
[Anthony:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paula:] Oh these are nice
[Anthony:] Are they?
[Paula:] Mm
[speaker002:] What are they?
[Anthony:] Bites
[speaker002:] Bites
[Arthur:] Computer biscuits
[Paula:] Mm, they're ever so nice
[speaker002:] What are they made of?... Caramel
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] are they
[Arthur:] They're horrible
[speaker002:] They're caramel
[Arthur:] they're horrible
[Paula:] Oh they're beautiful, I like, do you like them Tony?
[Arthur:] You could hold tiles on a wall with these things
[Anthony:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Cor, very poor
[Paula:] No just get a packet of stew vegetables
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Paula:] a packet of
[Paul:] It looks more like tea now, it looked like coffee before
[Paula:] what's it called suet
[Anthony:] What?
[Paula:] a packet of suet, and then I can make
[speaker002:] Soup
[Paula:] soup, chicken soup
[Paul:] Ooh packet of suet
[Paula:] Don't you like
[speaker002:] Don't you like suet puddings don't you like dumplings?
[Paul:] I like dumplings but I don't like fat
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] I'll skim the fat off
[Arthur:] Better watch that Paul you'll pull all your fillings out
[speaker002:] First of all boil it and then let it
[Arthur:] they're horrible
[Paul:] Safeway Bites, best before the ninth of May
[speaker002:] Are you going tonight?
[Paula:] I'll go tonight
[speaker002:] Well I'll go with you
[Paul:] nine, two
[Arthur:] oh, right, am I going on my own this afternoon? Anybody come with me to the hospital
[speaker002:] I'll come with you and
[Paul:] I'll go tomorrow
[Arthur:] You're alright, you can go tonight with Paula
[speaker002:] Let's have a look at the packet
[Anthony:] I'll go with ya
[Arthur:] Well have you got a lot of homework to do?... Ton
[Anthony:] cos otherwise I'll
[Arthur:] well I, you're fresh for your homework now aren't ya?
[Anthony:] Yeah, alright
[speaker002:] Well if Tony's going tonight
[Arthur:] you'll get more done
[speaker002:] with his mum, I'll come with you this afternoon
[Arthur:] If you want to, it's up to you
[Paula:] We can all go this afternoon, we can all go tonight, makes no difference
[speaker002:] Well, you know I'm going to Mavis, in the soup, loop the loop
[Paula:] All you have to do is put the chicken carcass in and leave it
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Paula:] and then when you come in I can put the er
[speaker002:] I can make, skim it off
[Paula:] put the vegetables in
[speaker002:] being as you've got, being as you're getting in er thingy vegetables
[Paula:] You're not drinking tea and coffee mixed
[Anthony:] Why not?
[Paula:] Oh my God
[Arthur:] What's wrong with that Paula
[Paula:] Have you ever had tea and coffee in the vending machine?
[Arthur:] No, but what's wrong with it? What's wrong with it?
[Philip:] Out the vending machine it's not proper tea to start with
[Arthur:] That's gonna spill if you're not careful
[Paula:] Out of the vending machine out, out of a vending machine it's revolting
[Philip:] It's not proper tea to start with
[Paula:] it's
[Arthur:] it's coffee.
[speaker002:] Somebody was asking about this new
[Arthur:] Instant tea
[speaker002:] instant tea
[Arthur:] It's supposed to be brilliant innit?
[speaker002:] What's it made out of or what?
[Arthur:] Oh no, they wouldn't do that...
[speaker002:] Not much
[Arthur:] What's it taste like Tony? Horrible
[Anthony:] Nice, he's, he's put too much tea in
[Paula:] I'll tell you something it will replace
[Arthur:] Teabags
[Paula:] Yeah
[Philip:] No
[Paula:] it will
[Philip:] you can taste it
[speaker002:] It will not, it's too expensive
[Philip:] It's not nice, it's not nice
[Paula:] But the price will come down
[speaker002:] it's too expensive
[Anthony:] that's your opinion
[Arthur:] Remember when teabags came out? People said they'd never, never catch on, teabags
[speaker002:] Do you know those Oxo Granules
[Arthur:] Daft way of having a cup of tea just got used to it
[speaker002:] those are far more expensive then buying Oxos
[Paula:] Only at the moment they are, in time they won't be, Paul stop swinging
[speaker002:] and they, they, they
[Arthur:] Remember what we were talking about this morning how things have changed in service in shops
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] and that, it'll all happen
[speaker002:] Oh it'll happen
[Paula:] You in time
[Arthur:] In your old age you'll be making yourself an instant cup of tea
[Paula:] Look at coffee, how many people have
[Arthur:] They sell stamps don't they? Right
[speaker002:] I wouldn't be at all surprised
[Arthur:] but you've got to find the place there it could be at the other end a mile away couldn't it?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] The size of that place
[speaker002:] Yes, I don't know where it is
[Arthur:] Oh father says it's er... so far away from one end to the other...
[speaker002:] See they use their, that, their room as a bedroom don't they?
[Arthur:] They use that room as a bedroom, I'm not with you
[speaker002:] That one there
[Arthur:] Which one?
[speaker002:] that room there with the window this one, look
[Arthur:] Chance to have a look, there
[speaker002:] Yeah there's a
[Arthur:] as a bedroom?
[speaker002:] yeah, you've got all the camp beds
[Arthur:] Ah they might have somebody to stay with them, have somebody to stay with them the only trouble this we need days and days and days and months or rain it's lovely but it's not doing us any good this
[speaker002:] Its too dry really, there's going to be a real water shortage still
[Arthur:] Yes
[speaker002:] a real calamity too because once the things dry up, the trouble is the, the water gets
[Arthur:] seen this lady
[speaker002:] What
[Arthur:] she dresses in some of the strangest things, sometimes she dresses in sailor's uniforms and big white
[speaker002:] Really?
[Arthur:] coats on, yeah she walks all over the place
[speaker002:] Where does she live?
[Arthur:] I think it's I think... but I could be wrong
[speaker002:] And does she carry her clothes about with her or does she
[Arthur:] Just like that she walks and walks and, nights, morning any time of the day you can see her, no paths, you know what the roads are like all on her own.
[speaker002:] There used to be er, a lady that used to come in the cinema when I worked there, and she had a in fact not much bigger than that
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] er, a shopping basket
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and she had all her clothes in it there
[Arthur:] Oh God look at the width of this thing
[speaker002:] she could always
[Arthur:] look at the width of it, God, ah, oh that lorry, get past it.
[speaker002:] [cough] She was always clean, you couldn't fault her for cleanliness, but I'm sure she must of either washed her clothes in the toilets, you know, wash basin in the toilets because that was the only thing she had was one bag... and she used to, er, her pension book was in and er erm
[Arthur:] This is ridiculous this, this shouldn't be on the road.
[speaker002:] He should wait you know to ask
[Arthur:] Yeah but, how can he? If the width of it
[speaker002:] I know, it's dreadful that
[Arthur:] they're just too big for roads and this is a main road
[speaker002:] Well this is what the grumble about don't they?
[Arthur:] Who?
[speaker002:] in Northern this is the erm
[Arthur:] Oh the farmers, this is ridiculous
[speaker002:] this is the Northern you can't pass these
[Arthur:] Well it's the width of it
[speaker002:] Mm...
[Arthur:] It's erm, oh God...
[speaker002:] Well do you think that lady sleeps out?
[Arthur:] No I think she lay, I think it's I think, I've never seen her, there's a rumour you know how you get stories about people
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] like this
[speaker002:] I mean there's
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] We have a lot of oddities
[Arthur:] well she, she will, literally walks miles, she'll walk, you see her the other side of Stowmarket, seven miles, six, seven, eight, ten miles away
[speaker002:] It's madness
[Arthur:] all weathers all weathers
[speaker002:] it's
[Arthur:] as well
[speaker002:] They like it, they like that sort of a life
[Arthur:] Oh rumour has it that her husband was in the forces
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] now this is an old rumour and er, he was an officer, er I think in the RAF and he had erm an accident his plane crashed and he died and this is why she dresses in military uniform all the time... sort, you know she went a little bit deranged
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] and that
[speaker002:] but sur she never got over it
[Arthur:] the shock of it never got over the shock of it though
[speaker002:] and yet you see these days they would give her treatment for that
[Arthur:] Well
[speaker002:] if she, er, er, no, at the beginning they would of given her treatment or something
[Arthur:] Oh she isn't that old
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] No
[speaker002:] I thought you meant during the war
[Arthur:] No, she's only in top twenties, early thirties
[speaker002:] Really?
[Arthur:] Yeah, that's all she is
[speaker002:] Oh I thought you meant
[Arthur:] No, no
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] Super jet, sixteen hundred, eighteen, Amazon, do we need things that big?
[speaker002:] Mind you see, when you think about it you see
[Arthur:] look at the size it's enormous
[speaker002:] some people they only live for their partner don't they and a thing like that get a
[Arthur:] Yes, yeah
[speaker002:] her husband getting killed is the end of the world and there's, there's nothing else sort of thing and... they just... it's very sad really, I mean if you're a young person you can quickly pull yourself together and realize that
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] life goes on
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] which you've got to do
[Arthur:] Yes
[speaker002:] I mean... the way I'd look at it, would look at it if something of happened to John, well I still go and you've got to sort of well
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] there's, there's nothing you can do about it when
[Arthur:] No
[speaker002:] you've had your life, smile and
[Arthur:] but
[speaker002:] that's it
[Arthur:] when me mum died everybody said oh your dad I'll be dead in, within a year, two years, he'll give up, he's got nothing you know
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] he lived ten, twelve years was it after?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] No it wasn't, no ten years
[speaker002:] There's a, the person that took that words was your Moira
[Arthur:] Oh yeah, well she went a bit she went a bit over the top didn't she?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] With remorse
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] It was unnatural
[speaker002:] and yet she was always treated as one of the, the family, but it's silly because you've done what you can when they're living. I mean Margaret next door to me she went over the top when she was all her sister's energy and thinking her sister should, I mean she had a sister living with her and her sister had her own family with her, er a Mongol son, well I'm afraid Margaret shouldn't of taken that attitude because she said ooh everywhere I go now there's only me, now that's being selfish, because she had three children... and she shouldn't really of expected all her sisters to keep coming, they were living with her, you know never leave her alone
[Arthur:] Did she ever get over it?
[speaker002:] Well she when I left
[Arthur:] And was she getting over it with her, was she getting better?
[speaker002:] Well not really because she was still demanding
[Arthur:] Coping with that husband not being there
[speaker002:] too much of her relations
[Arthur:] Oh yes
[speaker002:] that's why Alice eventually said she'd buy our house after all that time and said, and said well she'd be right next door to her
[Arthur:] Yes
[speaker002:] but you're not fair to your own family which is even your own family gets first priority
[Arthur:] Oh yes
[speaker002:] I mean I wouldn't, wouldn't expect, I would expect Paula to you know you're the first priority and I support yes, but not
[Arthur:] Take over
[speaker002:] not demand all that
[Arthur:] Demand, yeah
[speaker002:] you know, you understand what I mean?
[Arthur:] I do, yeah
[speaker002:] Yeah... and she used to say well, well I mean oh well they haven't got, they'll be able to have their holidays together and all this, oh yeah fair enough, it's their life... no I think Margaret can be a little bit she really did
[Arthur:] But it did
[speaker002:] You see the trouble is with Margaret her husband had always done everything for her, she went out to work and he brought the, he more or less did his work, did overtime, everything and still managed to look after the boys
[Arthur:] How many children, was it three children you said?
[speaker002:] Three boys
[Arthur:] Three lads
[speaker002:] Yeah... the eldest boy when his father died was eighteen
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] the next one was sixteen
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] and the young boy was about thirte no he wasn't, yeah about thirteen yeah something like that
[Arthur:] Eighteen, eighteen, sixteen and thirteen
[speaker002:] Yeah... well
[Arthur:] how did they take it then the lads?
[speaker002:] Well the eldest lad... was alright, but the middle lad he became a bit of a problem
[Arthur:] Sixteen year old
[speaker002:] by er, mind you they'd always been children that had had to fend for themselves a lot, the only sad thing
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] that their own Margaret used to be working she worked nights as well
[Arthur:] Come on get a move on
[speaker002:] you know
[Arthur:] he's gonna cause chaos this guy, he's gonna pull in front of this lorry, watch
[speaker002:] Mm, she worked and she worked night shift as well, you know they had to do alternative shifts, so consequently sort of kept the house and the family going sort of thing
[Arthur:] The day to day jobs, yeah
[speaker002:] everything, the cooking, the lot
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] I mean Margaret used to come in and everything was done for her, I mean she never had to do a thing... well that hit her terribly you see.
[Arthur:] Did she carry on working?...
[speaker002:] Well she went on sick leave for a long time
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and er I don't think that was a good idea because she was lonely without all the
[Arthur:] Yeah, if you go, if you can get back to work
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] you get into, it can help to get your mind off it during the day or alright at night you might be very lonely
[speaker002:] And she was at the cemetery every day with
[Arthur:] Ah, yeah, yeah
[speaker002:] flowers and
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] I mean she had a picture of him on the headstone and oh, thought she went over the top I'm afraid and... she get loads of support because then that Clifford was very popular and er his was
[Arthur:] yeah
[speaker002:] and er the men were very good. There was one man he used to come every week just to do... see if there were any jobs that wanted doing and er he'd spend, you know, a day there you know doing anything she wants doing that she couldn't manage herself
[Arthur:] Right, did he work Clifford?
[speaker002:] He worked for the Electricity Board
[Arthur:] Electricity Board?... What putting the correct
[speaker002:] Maintenance
[Arthur:] Maintenance on the
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] on the faults on the
[speaker002:] but he was, the men that he worked with his friends were really good, you see and his sister, the youngest sister, Alice who she had, had the Mongol lad
[Arthur:] Yes
[speaker002:] well Clifford and her, her husband
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] had grown up together
[Arthur:] Yeah...
[speaker002:] now he took it very bad like as much as Margaret
[Arthur:] Yes
[speaker002:] because his best friend and he, and really Alice was supporting him as well as Margaret
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] through the crisis and she had a lot on her hands because he went to pieces and he had no other friend he had
[Arthur:] How did he go to pieces, when you say he went to pieces?
[speaker002:] He, he
[Arthur:] What did he do?
[speaker002:] Well he, his own idea was he'd lost his friend
[Arthur:] Yes
[speaker002:] he'd lost
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] he'd lost everything
[Arthur:] Yes I can see that, but
[speaker002:] he was lonely
[Arthur:] how did he go to pieces?
[speaker002:] Oh well his health suffered and
[Arthur:] Did he stop working or
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] really?
[speaker002:] Yeah, oh it really knocked him for a burton, you see his, you see Clifford and him, with this boy that's had their, their, his son that was well Clifford would always integrate him in with his own family
[Arthur:] Yes
[speaker002:] If Clifford had, had er Alice husband went out
[Arthur:] yes
[speaker002:] the boys used to go out
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] you know what I mean, football and things like that, he was always included in it. In a way he... he was one of, you know
[Arthur:] One of the family
[speaker002:] he was one of the family
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] it was, it was very sad really
[Arthur:] Just shows you that, but death can be...
[speaker002:] Oh yes
[Arthur:] death can show erm, people's dependency on each other
[speaker002:] Oh yes.
[Arthur:] that can really show it, can't it?
[speaker002:] Well they were, they were really dependent on, I mean on each other, they were a unit even though they were two families in a way
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] I mean it was only Margaret's sister, you see Margaret came from a large family, so there was always
[Arthur:] Plenty of people around
[speaker002:] plenty of people around
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] and unfortunately it was only about eight months before that she lost her mother, only her mother was the dominant feature of the family you see she kept them all together
[Arthur:] I wonder what would of happened if she hadn't of died when she did
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] and Clifford had, had died, I wonder how he'd of taken it then, perhaps sh you know they lost that
[speaker002:] Yeah the mother
[Arthur:] the helmsman as it were
[speaker002:] Yeah they lost everything really, but the father you see, he, he was pushed in the background, the old man [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Poor chap
[speaker002:] I mean the old man was well in his seventies and he, he was secondary, you see he never even er, he, he didn't even come to the funeral, Clifford's funeral and Margaret was very bitter about that.
[Arthur:] And why was that? Why didn't he come, was he ill?
[speaker002:] I don't know
[Arthur:] Could of been
[speaker002:] I don't know but he could of been ill, he could, it could of been that he couldn't take any more you know that... but Margaret was terri terribly bitter about him Margaret not coming, but he could, he couldn't stand it
[Arthur:] Yes you see funerals er, everybody likes a wedding don't they?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Everybody loves weddings, dressing up, meeting and that, funerals, yeah alright we all get together again at funerals and the, after the coffin's gone in the ground and all that, that really high emotion point or once it's gone behind the erm curtains... to be burnt, once you've gone through that there's that sort of erm
[speaker002:] Limbo
[Arthur:] limbo yeah, you're coming together again in the house or whatever you have, a reception, and you need to go through that to come to terms with it or you can, you can need to go through that, but some people can't take the pressure emotional pressure of, you know, all the, hour, two hours, three, four hours before that it just, they
[speaker002:] It, well then
[Arthur:] just can't take it, and I don't know how they cope with it afterwards
[speaker002:] they cope, I mean as far as they were concerned, as far as they were concerned they'd never seen such, the crematorium was packed, the people was all lined outside
[Arthur:] Yeah very popular chap
[speaker002:] and the, the he was very, very popular and they, and they
[Arthur:] Well you know when erm Scott erm died
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] er, all, all his mates
[speaker002:] all his mates
[Arthur:] and Paul and myself went up there didn't we?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] and, that was, it was
[speaker002:] it was
[Arthur:] it was like a football match crowd
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] it was solid and it was all sort of, his age, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen year olds and all vowing they're never gonna sniff whatever again, you know all making these
[speaker002:] Let's hope they don't
[Arthur:] pledges
[speaker002:] but you see with him you see, they, it was packed, the house before the wake was packed, because Margaret kept coming over when he was all dressed up in a suit and everything, I didn't, she asked me if, once to go, I just said no I would prefer to remember
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Clifford as he was, cos John had been in the hospital I think the day before he died
[Arthur:] Was it a heart attack, heart?
[speaker002:] Yeah it was, it, well what happened is, was, that he... on Sun on the Sunday gone swimming with the boys in the morning
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] and then they'd got us playing foot football in the main park and they came back
[Arthur:] He wasn't well that's right, no
[speaker002:] and Clifford, no Clifford said, the lads to each other are we going out again dad you know cos oh Margaret was in, yes, and there was some other boys, the boy across the road was eating something and the boys said and Clifford said do you mind if I just sit in the chair and be quiet for just a few minutes and he just sat in the chair and had his heart attack
[Arthur:] He must of been feeling unwell then
[speaker002:] Did, he was feeling a bit groggy, I suppose Arthur thought he was tired
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and er... he said the lad across the road, the hardware shop, he did first aid so he started on him, on the, Clifford resuscitation with the
[Arthur:] Oh had he actually collapsed from his heart attack?
[speaker002:] Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, and then and Margaret called for the ambulance, I heard the slop and I heard, and then they put the dog out right away and I said, that's unusual of them, it was one of those tiny little miniatures you see
[Arthur:] What, they put it out where? Out in the back?
[speaker002:] Oh they put it outside in the garden
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and I said oh there's Benjy, there must be something, you know, I thought it was one of the kids that had jumped or something because the little one had always climbing and jumping off the wall, breaking his leg you know the weak one, and the next minute saw the ambulance outside, but he must of been, it must of been too massive to be able to do anything cos he wasn't breathing that bit you see
[Arthur:] Oh, it been gone too, stop breathing too long, yeah
[speaker002:] you could only go so, yeah and
[Arthur:] poor chap
[speaker002:] and say
[Arthur:] so they put him on a life support did they?
[speaker002:] Yeah from
[Arthur:] how long was he on the life support?
[speaker002:] er, er, something about he, in hospital about eight weeks
[Arthur:] Eight weeks on a life support?
[speaker002:] Yeah, he was on it some time and Charles and they'd put him back on the ward becau when John last saw him, cos he, John was visiting er, used to be having treatment or something at at the time
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] for something, I, I think he was going for his skin...
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and he used to pop in you see
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] but it was waste of time because he, he, he didn't know, he wasn't Clifford, well that's what he said to me, it's not Clifford you know
[Arthur:] It's just a body there then
[speaker002:] it's just a body there
[Arthur:] So he's on the life support right to the end
[speaker002:] Yes and the funny thing was I
[Arthur:] was he on that life support right till the end?
[speaker002:] Yeah, no, he was back on the wards
[Arthur:] Did, they took him, taken him off the life support?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Could he talk and, no
[speaker002:] No
[Arthur:] No
[speaker002:] Oh the funny thing was about that was Margaret was with him
[Arthur:] That's his wife?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] now erm as well as much as she could she was never in the house and the day that he died she didn't get there on time
[Arthur:] Oh God
[speaker002:] Oh she wasn't
[Arthur:] well you can guarantee that can't ya?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Sod's law
[speaker002:] she'd gone out, she'd just slipped out with Alice for something
[Arthur:] Maybe that sort of hit her as well I think
[speaker002:] Oh I think so
[Arthur:] you know
[speaker002:] after being in there all the time, but I mean, you, there's nothing you can do you can sit with somebody
[Arthur:] Ah that's it, maybe that starts to explain a bit more
[speaker002:] round the clock yeah
[Arthur:] how, why she took it so badly
[speaker002:] Oh she did she
[Arthur:] if I'd only been there when he died, I'd of hold his hands, blah, blah, oh God, poor lass
[speaker002:] She never did
[Arthur:] poor lass
[speaker002:] But she couldn't really what's er, er she couldn't of done any more
[Arthur:] No
[speaker002:] and she er she couldn't sort of feel guilty about it
[Arthur:] No, no
[speaker002:] I mean because she spent every, every bit of the time with him.
[Arthur:] But she, she won't see it like that will she?
[speaker002:] Well I told her that I get, I said to her look Margaret you could of been, you could of closed your eyes and he could of happened but it does happen non
[Arthur:] Mm, mm,
[speaker002:] you don't and you've not got to have any recre you know
[Arthur:] Recrimination
[speaker002:] recriminations about it because... well... it's maybe meant that way anyway... you've taken enough, you, you've taken enough yourself haven't you?
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[speaker002:] But I mean there was er, they were so kind to them in the hospital if there would of been any sign of distress they would of, you know, usually anyway you don't usually have distress at the end you're usually at peace aren't you?...
[Arthur:] Oh that's what it looks like [sigh]... whether you are or not oh, oh
[speaker002:] Oh you might not
[Arthur:] oh look at this Union Jack and the oh my God
[speaker002:] Where?
[Arthur:] There
[speaker002:] Oh yeah, oh somebody
[Arthur:] oh the what you call it? The erm British Legion
[speaker002:] Oh yeah British Legion, was your father in the British Legion?
[Arthur:] No, use, use, used to go to the club, Legion club
[speaker002:] Was your father ever in the army?
[Arthur:] No he's down the pit
[speaker002:] Oh yes of course he was
[Arthur:] down the pit have
[speaker002:] have you heard how Johnny is lately?
[Arthur:] No I've heard nothing, no
[speaker002:] Is it, the wedding
[Arthur:] according to Les yeah
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] but I don't know when, where, how, what or whatever I, it's up to him, ha, he's no longer
[speaker002:] How old is Arthur? Is he older than you?
[Arthur:] He's older than me oh he's a lot older, he's about fifty Johnny
[speaker002:] Is he?
[Arthur:] Yeah, hold on what am I, yeah he's coming up to fifty yeah, forty nine...
[speaker002:] Is it, he was always good looking lad though your Johnny
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] well I reckon he was, I reckon your father was really good looking
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] don't you?
[Arthur:] My dad?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Oh I take after him an'all in that
[speaker002:] Yeah I think your father was a good looking man
[Arthur:] Yeah, handsome sod [LAUGHTER] my God... yes it was erm... bit of blow that when me dad went
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] but you see when you smoke all your damn life what do you expect?
[speaker002:] The ironic thing is you can't
[Arthur:] And he couldn't stop it, I, I never get over when the doctor said to him if I were you I wouldn't smoke, it'll do you good not to smoke, so he didn't, and he stopped it
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] just like that... crazy after what, forty odd years of smoking he stopped it just like that, and then when the doctor said when he'd been, after he'd got the results back, you know, all the, all the ones they do at the hospital then
[speaker002:] Aye
[Arthur:] obviously it was no good he, you could smoke like a chimney it made no damn difference the state his insides were
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] his lungs were then
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] and when he said er, you know he said you know well, er, you like a cigarette the doctor said, yeah, and my dad was so proud of this, you wanna cigarette yeah, you can smoke if you're, there you are and he said it, it wasn't the cigarettes [sigh] God it wasn't the cigarettes
[speaker002:] John always says the doctor says he's got er he's got
[Arthur:] He's got to stop
[speaker002:] he's gonna take it
[Arthur:] Yeah, yeah you see and he's stopped
[speaker002:] No he's got it, no but he's gonna, start again if everything, they told him that it, he, he had no chance he said
[Arthur:] Yeah, I don't blame him
[speaker002:] he said er
[Arthur:] I don't blame him at all
[speaker002:] I'd die I think
[Arthur:] Yeah that's it
[speaker002:] mind you the trouble is it's alright in saying that but you see I've got a bad chest, Philip's got a bad chest
[Arthur:] All God's children got a bad chest
[speaker002:] and the trouble is, no
[Arthur:] What?
[speaker002:] that the trouble is it affects us you see
[Arthur:] We're alright
[speaker002:] Yeah I know
[Arthur:] we're go round with masks on can't you?
[speaker002:] Oh aye, yeah
[Arthur:] Eh up, we've gotta
[speaker002:] Ooh the house is, smells
[Arthur:] no
[speaker002:] Oh aye, it might
[Arthur:] you don't, you don't know what you're missing
[speaker002:] Ooh, I, don't you start again with
[Arthur:] No thanks [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Oh exactly
[Arthur:] I don't like Park Drive [LAUGHTER] good for you, keeps the moths out the house
[speaker002:] But surely the taste it's horrible, ah, well I think it's horrible
[Arthur:] It keeps the moths out...
[speaker002:] I can't stand going in a, you see, that's one of things I would never go out to dos for cos I
[Arthur:] Because of the smoke
[speaker002:] I couldn't stand the smoke he used
[Arthur:] There Okay? Oh he's alright, he is, [tut]... who's gonna come looking?
[speaker002:] Honestly Arthur there's, there, I'll have those, give me those back draw the curtains round...
[Arthur:] Oh he's going in the toilet, they're better, that's a nicer colour [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Yes, give me those
[Arthur:] were you never a Girl Guide? [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] I'm embarrassed.
[Arthur:] I'm not embarrassed.
[speaker002:] I am.
[Arthur:] Why?
[speaker002:] Well the nurse is here
[Arthur:] I think they see a lot, they see everything the nurse's mother [LAUGHTER] What is it, if you've got it, flaunt He's, he's, what do you call it? Pardon? he's alright, it's okay yeah, it's alright, completely, I wouldn't do it if it was illegal, don't worry...
[speaker002:] The only thing is Philip's gonna have to be careful
[Arthur:] well somebody'll have to drive him there about what?
[speaker002:] about getting home movies he's a great fan
[Arthur:] yeah, might be an idea though, well we'll see what's, what happens with the
[speaker002:] nothing to be ashamed of yourself
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Oh God, no
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]...
[speaker002:] Go on what's that
[Arthur:] nothing's happening...
[John:] I suppose they could send me out tomorrow
[speaker002:] oh God
[Arthur:] That's what I said to ya, I said this, tomorrow possibly
[John:] Yeah
[Arthur:] cos if they've got everything under control they'd want it, what else can they do?
[John:] It's all under control now
[Arthur:] It might be rest they might think
[speaker002:] It might be
[Arthur:] they might keep you in for a longer rest
[John:] I don't think they will though, because they've given me that already
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] this is the second bite this is it
[speaker002:] Oh I see
[John:] I've had the first one
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] think
[John:] I could wait another forty eight hours while you wait results of that one you see
[speaker002:] Yes
[John:] I'm off all me pills now
[Arthur:] All of them?
[John:] Well except the pills they give you in these places just to keep you quiet
[Arthur:] You er
[speaker002:] can give ya, so that you can sleep
[Arthur:] Let's have a, let's have a look at your list, see what you've er stop, stop
[speaker002:] Alright...
[Arthur:] getting on, getting on
[speaker002:] Well if you were going to come for me you've got to drive and that and he's still not up yet today, so I, I have to get Arthur to draw some money
[John:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and I think it might be better if he hasn't
[John:] maybe if, if he's he would
[speaker002:] yes
[John:] when he's suggested you go back to bed
[speaker002:] Because they cou they have to
[John:] No I say,
[speaker002:] shh, shh
[Arthur:] There's a possibility
[speaker002:] There's a possibility
[Arthur:] that's a possibility
[speaker002:] they'll, they'll come and visit if I go back with Philip and yes because they'll see to it
[John:] Yeah
[speaker002:] see to your visiting
[Arthur:] We can bring you back at home or if they insist that you go back in an ambulance, you may, they may not put you back home you know, have you thought of that? They might put you into Southwold
[John:] I know, I mean, I mean it's the same thing isn't it?
[Arthur:] Yeah, but they might do that
[speaker002:] Oh well, if they put you in Southwold I'm alright
[John:] I doubt it
[Arthur:] I doubt it, but they might do that
[speaker002:] Yes, if they put him into Southwold I'm alright
[Arthur:] you're not, you're not gonna be in here much longer, that's a fact isn't it?
[John:] Mm
[speaker002:] No
[Arthur:] So
[John:] that's a fact
[Arthur:] have you seen the weather out there, it's gorgeous ain't it? did you watch it yesterday?
[John:] Some of it yeah
[Arthur:] I saw a bit of it brilliant man
[John:] Brilliant
[speaker002:] I thought
[John:] he only last one lap didn't he?
[Arthur:] Yeah, why I didn't see that, I only saw one bit of it, tiny bit
[John:] Red one last
[Arthur:] Yeah, the British lad, the English lad, Aussies, they're all the same these Aussies
[speaker002:] The conversation no I think the more sensible idea is to get
[John:] he's on soundings
[speaker002:] Is he also adding sugar to him
[Arthur:] I tell you what he does need, see a doctor
[speaker002:] Ah
[John:] he does need to see a doctor
[Arthur:] I don't mean erm what's his name, cos he's abroad isn't he? erm... what's the guy's name?
[John:] Mm
[Arthur:] he wants to see a doctor, otherwise he's just gonna, he's not gonna get any better is he?
[speaker002:] Neither of them are gonna get better, I mean you've been in here all this time and he hasn't been up yet
[John:] Yeah
[speaker002:] so, the biggest one is to get him
[John:] yeah
[speaker002:] and to get that
[John:] yeah
[speaker002:] he drove me over
[John:] yeah, I know...
[Arthur:] Yeah, that's a point innit? I needn't of brought her
[speaker002:] I mean, yeah, but how can I go out without the car that's the trouble, but many car drivers
[Arthur:] It's not been out the house other than last night
[speaker002:] How, but you, they're, they've done all the shopping
[John:] Yes I know they have, yeah
[speaker002:] I mean they've done all the shopping and how can I manage without the car?
[John:] Well you won't be able to
[speaker002:] well what?
[Arthur:] how's that, has it got rockets on the back? [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] I don't know I think it's a sensible idea
[Arthur:] Wings on it
[speaker002:] for get in his house, see what happens, get that
[John:] yeah
[speaker002:] he's still, he's still got his antibiotics to finish
[John:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] he finishes them on Monday and if he's no better by then, cos nobody
[Arthur:] Well he will be he's gonna be, he is better now than he was cos them antibiotics are working
[speaker002:] Yeah well give them till he's finished the antibiotics
[Arthur:] Yeah, well, what but, but I'm saying is it's not the antibiotics it isn't the
[John:] It's just not the
[Arthur:] that
[John:] he wants something to, he wants something
[Arthur:] he wants, he wants somebody looking at him and saying well
[John:] there's something, something going on that leg all the time like a pain or something like it
[Arthur:] he wants, he wants X-ray or something like that just to see what on earth it's like in there
[John:] He's like, he's, he's like, he's like, he wants to be in here
[Arthur:] Well not this place but somewhere
[John:] Yeah, well, you see, but if he, the thing is, if he, he, he seems as if he is carrying a weight, a terrible weight all the time
[Arthur:] Well that, what are antibiotics gonna do? Nothing at all
[speaker002:] Mm, mm
[Arthur:] about that
[speaker002:] you see the, the doctor doesn't, the doctor that came out doesn't know his case and, well I don't think
[Arthur:] and I think to have it, say watch Mr, Mr you, if he's not here, he's not here and you've got to do something
[John:] I can't, he can't,
[Arthur:] Could he
[John:] I can't see
[Arthur:] see you can't
[speaker002:] You can't go and see it's too far away
[Arthur:] Well it's, they've plenty of people here so you've got, yeah... and if, the longer it goes on, the more
[John:] I mean if possible that he can't be any better
[Arthur:] mi yeah, it's a possibility but until somebody actually says no, you don't know
[speaker002:] when he went to Liverpool the guy there did nothing for you did he? it was a waste of time it was a waste of a journey for Philip and it was too much for him
[Arthur:] Well, he, it's not that far away and it's, if he's in here and they can see to him, fair enough, or they might be able to point him in a different direction, a better direction...
[John:] So it's, you've got to see somebody
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] It's just to get
[Arthur:] can't go on like this
[speaker002:] Oh no
[Arthur:] crazy to
[speaker002:] getting worse, he's been going
[Arthur:] oh
[speaker002:] He hasn't as a matter of fact
[Arthur:] it's just bed and yeah can get in I thought what's that digging in until I realized what it was
[speaker002:] Oh all the time you've been
[Arthur:] Yeah
[John:] He doesn't need to see, see a dermatologist
[Arthur:] Who?
[John:] Well one of those
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] or other
[Arthur:] a lum lumbatologist no, no, yeah cos all he's doing is just lying there
[speaker002:] He's just lying
[Arthur:] eating but it
[speaker002:] It's ten o'clock this morning before they
[Arthur:] report on what?
[speaker002:] On what Arthur's doing
[Arthur:] What's that?
[speaker002:] wind bag
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Who's the wind bag? Blow out...
[speaker002:] You're the wind bag...
[Arthur:] It's not in, you've lost it, there you are it's in that one... can't find it?...
[speaker003:] Cup of tea dear?
[John:] Yes please...
[speaker003:] One sugar?
[John:] Er one please
[speaker003:] Two?
[John:] Er one please
[speaker003:] One, sorry
[Arthur:] What's that?... Don't be a Rodney and spend... what, that's Archer isn't it?
[John:] No, the other one
[speaker003:] Brian, a cup of tea?...
[Arthur:] Lang lingo that looks like Jeffrey Archer Rodney's Jeffrey's, Jeffrey Archer, Jeffrey, don't be a Rodney and spend Jeffrey on a... cat and bob, it's the Daily Mirror as well [LAUGHTER]...
[John:] It's a new language
[Arthur:] Rodney's a plonker, yeah
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] oh God, good though ain't it?
[John:] is that what you're doing?
[Arthur:] I don't know
[John:] Is it a side line what's
[Arthur:] No, no
[John:] a bit of a side line on that
[Arthur:] No this is just to do with a
[John:] Yeah
[Arthur:] a, a Rodney, yeah
[John:] a Rodney
[Arthur:] don't be a Rodney it says, don't be a Rodney it says and spend a Jeffrey on a cat and bob, don't be a plonker and spend two thousand pounds that's what he played, paid to the prostitutes, do you remember? Yeah, just because you looked a nice girl was it? [LAUGHTER] on a cat and bob, somebody who gives you lots of promises and it's load of crap
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]... bimbo
[Arthur:] Bimbo
[speaker002:] why?
[Arthur:] Why? [LAUGHTER]... The favours, in lieu of favours given [LAUGHTER]
[John:] Indeed, [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Oh I [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Oh
[John:] You know you can
[speaker002:] just have, I look as if I'm
[Arthur:] mm, it's good though ain't it?
[speaker002:] It's good, it's the longest
[Arthur:] has it stopped, is it still splitting ah? Oh it is
[John:] Yeah
[Arthur:] it is
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] Did you hear about that chap he did
[John:] What's that?
[Arthur:] he did, James Watana, he did a one four seven break on TV the fastest ever
[John:] Yeah
[Arthur:] and his father was shot out in erm is it Bangkok Tha out Thailand way
[John:] Yeah
[Arthur:] and killed, his father's a gambler out there somebody came to settle up... bang and he was playing thinking he'd just been wounded and in fact he'd been shot and killed, poor chap...
[John:] Is he still playing in
[Arthur:] Well if he don't he don't get the pennies does he? Don't do it you don't get paid...
[speaker002:] Last chance by a clever time share
[Arthur:] At these prices
[speaker002:] at these prices, low season you can go for nine hundred and ninety five pounds... mm...
[Arthur:] There you are there's your mobility chair for you
[John:] That's the one, yeah
[speaker002:] Oh, aye, that's the
[Arthur:] five forward gears, one reverse
[speaker002:] exact one Mary and I have talked about getting a twin one
[Arthur:] For what toy boy? [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] No we were thinking of getting
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] so we can travel together
[Arthur:] Sharing between you [LAUGHTER] where would you have him then?
[speaker002:] No, share
[Arthur:] Monday, Wednesday, Friday, she'd have him Tuesday, Thursday and weekends [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] cos I said to her what you gonna do when you get home if you can't drive? Oh she said I'm gonna get one of those er chair, chairs that you see them Mary I told her to buy a car you see and she said, she said no, I'll buy a chair then we can drive on the seat [LAUGHTER] I said I, I'll have to start having lessons
[Arthur:] How to do wheelies in the
[speaker002:] how to do wheelies she'll have to give me a mile start... oh I say
[Arthur:] Who is it then?...
[speaker002:] I guess that thing
[Arthur:] Wind bag
[speaker002:] It's hot in here
[John:] You feel, with your fur coat
[speaker002:] I know, I'm gonna put it, take it off on and like nothing on earth
[John:] Mm...
[speaker002:] mm... honestly it's all sex in these papers
[Arthur:] your eyes have lit up
[speaker002:] Mm
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] don't like these papers really
[Arthur:] No, I know, keep the, keep the, you've read it four times now but you hmm...
[speaker002:] Ooh thought he was dead... oh... I tell you who keeps young Cliff Richard doesn't he?
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] He never seems to age
[John:] Who's that?
[Arthur:] He's not married that's why
[speaker002:] Yeah
[John:] He has a
[Arthur:] doesn't smoke, doesn't drink... not married
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker002:] Oh I say... Jimmy White
[Arthur:] Well...
[John:] yeah but there's only one missing
[speaker002:] oh no You must be joking
[Arthur:] They don't know who you are
[speaker002:] it's like er Jeremy Beadle
[Arthur:] Jeremy Beadle, is it heck, is it heck
[speaker002:] Course it is
[Arthur:] It's not
[speaker002:] Of course it is, I mean in your house and taking over oh
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker002:] can I pass you please?...
[Arthur:] Can you get past?
[speaker002:] I don't like her it's a terrible non event
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]...
[speaker002:] How's your glasses?...
[Arthur:] Can you squeeze through?
[speaker002:] I can now
[Arthur:] I've left a gap a yard wide for ya
[speaker002:] Oh dear, that's...
[Arthur:] Oh...
[John:] I better had, put these back on again
[speaker002:] Yeah as Philip says you're stupid wearing those or something because
[John:] Yeah
[speaker002:] they're your new ones so
[Arthur:] Are they a different prescription
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] than those? Oh, oh well
[John:] It may of been when between there
[speaker002:] But Philip says you shouldn't of got that
[Arthur:] Oh no, it's a different pres different strength
[speaker002:] he said, well, well I said well he keeps
[Arthur:] You look better in them mind you
[speaker002:] yeah those are better
[Arthur:] suit you
[John:] Mm
[Arthur:] they make you make you look sort of intelligent sort of
[speaker002:] oh they're more expensive aren't they?
[Arthur:] What is it, your eyes have altered the strength of your lenses haven't they? They've all, I could do with glasses.
[speaker002:] I thought you used to wear them at one time
[Arthur:] For reading yeah, I could do now I think for distance
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] if I look at things like that, it's all, er...
[speaker002:] yes because you, when Paula, when did Paula stop wearing glasses?
[Arthur:] I'd never seen Paula in, in glasses, ever, other than in photographs
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] not a liable
[speaker002:] I don't think she had
[Arthur:] no it's just for close work
[speaker002:] Mm
[Arthur:] it is
[John:] Paula glasses as soon as she went to another
[speaker002:] well she wore glasses when she was in her pram
[Arthur:] In her pram?
[speaker002:] Yeah she had she had little tiny, little gold ones
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] that were tied on with a ribbon
[Arthur:] Ah
[speaker002:] and she was
[Arthur:] Have you got a photograph of that in the pram with glasses on?
[speaker002:] and, no she had
[Arthur:] Could, we could have that blown up
[speaker002:] she had them a few month's old didn't she?
[John:] Yeah
[Arthur:] and we could send it anonymously to primary school [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] but no, she had them er then and he spent a lot of time did Paula with her glasses you needn't worry
[Arthur:] Did she have operations to
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] or just a squint
[speaker002:] she had the two, the first one wasn't put right, you know they had to get the exact one
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[John:] They get weaker and weaker before they'll do it, weaken the
[speaker002:] What they do is
[Arthur:] So it will
[John:] So it will, if one wasn't
[Arthur:] was pulling to yes
[speaker002:] Yeah, yeah
[Arthur:] So they weakened the strong one
[John:] And the only, the only way you can do that, you can't string the muscle up
[Arthur:] So they weakened the strong one
[John:] They have to the root and the stronger one
[Arthur:] Yeah what they hand them down here do they? So they a bit Monty Pythonish swing
[speaker002:] But she, she had to have two because the, the first one they did it wasn't, it wasn't exactly what they wanted
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] so she had to go back in and have it done again
[Arthur:] God
[speaker002:] so, she was very good wasn't she? Because you see then erm... until they take the bandages off
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] they don't know
[Arthur:] If it's worked or not, if it's been a success or not
[speaker002:] and it's an ordeal for a young child
[Arthur:] Mm
[speaker002:] What we did with, we bought her a little guitar so that she can play it and have a bit of music and something to do
[Arthur:] Yeah, yeah
[speaker002:] and she had, we bought her this little
[Arthur:] Ukelele type of thing
[speaker002:] and the second time she had it done it was very unfortunate because I was on you know that big
[Arthur:] no, I don't, but there's been that many
[speaker002:] they were all down with it
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and they wouldn't let her out of hospital but they closed the ward and they wouldn't let any
[John:] Only those that were in could stop in
[speaker002:] And only them but nobody could visit
[Arthur:] So sort of isolation it was
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and it
[Arthur:] So how long was she in for then?
[John:] Be about a week
[speaker002:] A week extra but used to come up
[Arthur:] Poor up
[speaker002:] She took, she took them a walk to see the flowers in the garden and
[Arthur:] In the hospital, yeah
[speaker002:] they dressed up as nurses and help the nurses
[Arthur:] Oh that'll be good won't it?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Oh yeah the nurses were kind to them
[Arthur:] Were good to them
[speaker002:] yeah, and they cleaned the ward and they, cos everybody went oh they were spotless
[Arthur:] they were all fit
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] they were all fit, just keep them
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] keep them occupied
[speaker002:] and then of course erm because, because she just had the operation you see they didn't think it was advisable
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[speaker002:] Because she just had the operation
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] they didn't think it was advisable that she came home
[Arthur:] Mm
[John:] I'm not cheating out
[speaker002:] Oh no
[John:] I'm not cheating out
[Arthur:] But you
[John:] but I've been wanting, I've been quietly thinking, the trouble is, you see it isn't just the argument that drives you pot you wouldn't nip home, Paula to go with you to bring her dear Arthur back
[speaker002:] Why?
[Arthur:] I do that
[John:] Well is he going to walk back?
[Arthur:] if I'm driving the Metro
[speaker002:] The only thing, other thing is, that Arthur could take the in his car
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and then they could bring the Metro over, if I go and do some shopping on my way out now at Asda
[John:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and then could bring it another day, or
[Arthur:] Bring back, that's right, either way it's gotta go hasn't it?
[John:] It, perhaps it's a bit much to try and get it all done to er today
[speaker002:] No, if you took us in your car, you could come for, if you took us in the Metro today, oh
[Arthur:] No, say it, go on say it
[speaker002:] No, you've still got to get back to your place
[Arthur:] To get back to my
[speaker002:] to your house in it
[Arthur:] Well either way we've got to do that, two cars have gotta go, it's gotta involve two cars either way, no matter when you do it
[John:] It's got to involve two cars at some time
[Arthur:] whether you do it start, middle or end, it makes no difference
[speaker002:] And then they come for him, and then, you come for him in your car
[John:] yeah
[Arthur:] Yeah, when are they likely to tell you about your biopsy then?
[speaker002:] They don't rush
[Arthur:] No I'm not
[John:] The best thing you could do is ask at the
[Arthur:] if I go and ask now
[John:] You go and ask them if there's any news
[Arthur:] Do you wanna ask?
[John:] cos they only told me bits, they all came round this morning and er, we were having a laugh actually, it was
[Arthur:] Was this big Mr
[speaker002:] it was him we were laughing this morning
[Arthur:] oh God [LAUGHTER]
[John:] he were er, he were er, they said they, he haven't got, he said you no need for painkillers he was that surprised, he was that surprised the way, of the way he did it, he got brutally treated with with his telling him now how he did, how he did it
[Arthur:] yeah, yeah, and they, they say he was brutal with you?
[John:] I said, I said, I said I was all prepared he was suggesting there was a beautiful big orange over there, it was, he found out that neither of us, non,
[Arthur:] oh God
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] and he I told him ambition's a good thing and what are you [LAUGHTER] take another sample from you please []? And he, and this young doctor said, yeah he says the only samples I take
[Arthur:] oh God [LAUGHTER] all fruits [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] so he needn't of been right you see, he could of, he [LAUGHTER] oh dear
[John:] Yeah if you follow that, that sister
[Arthur:] right, see what she says and whether it's gonna be, I'll get it on tape if I can, for posterity [LAUGHTER]... Spoken to John, what's happening about his biopsy?
[speaker003:] Oh that I don't know you'll have to see staff nurse
[Arthur:] You don't know...
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] John
[speaker003:] I know what you're gonna ask me and I don't know [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] You don't know, we're just trying to work out when he's going home or and things like that
[speaker003:] Erm, not before the weekend by the sound of it
[Arthur:] Right
[speaker003:] they haven't yet said anything certainly that we're aware of
[Arthur:] Right
[speaker003:] he, he realizes I mean he's quite a lot better himself
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker003:] he's now cut out all his morphine
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker003:] just on erm a couple of odd painkillers
[Arthur:] mm, mm
[speaker003:] erm, and, and seems a lot better generally so, you know, just a question of waiting until somebody comes
[Arthur:] will it be today?
[speaker003:] I don't know, I can't tell you really
[Arthur:] He's, he's talking now
[speaker003:] Mr done another
[Arthur:] Biop biopsy on Tuesday
[speaker003:] biopsy on Tuesday, and it can take up to a week
[Arthur:] He said two, forty eight hours just now
[speaker003:] Yeah, yeah
[Arthur:] said I will know within forty eight hours and we thought we Tuesday you see
[speaker003:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Thursday afternoon
[speaker003:] How, erm, are still here for the moment, I mean
[Arthur:] Oh yeah, here, here for a while, yeah
[speaker003:] because, you know, you will see a couple of doctors wandering around and sitting at the desk I mean he may know
[Arthur:] Oh
[speaker003:] and not divulge the information to you
[Arthur:] I was gonna say
[speaker003:] he may know when it's likely to come
[Arthur:] Right, oh we're just trying to work out, you know, car here and getting bodies
[speaker003:] Yeah
[Arthur:] here there and
[speaker003:] Yes
[Arthur:] everywhere, things like that, so, well I'll hang on a bit then
[speaker003:] Okay
[Arthur:] okay, yeah, thanks a lot, ta... She said she doesn't know hold on, hold on, just a moment, she doesn't know, but a biopsy can take a week, a week to come through, she wouldn't expect you out before the weekend
[speaker002:] Exactly
[John:] Why?
[Arthur:] Hold on, this is what you wouldn't, expects, this is only expects, this may not be, you might be walking out tomorrow morning
[speaker002:] He's
[Arthur:] she hasn't, she hasn't got the results through yet, but they maybe through and the doc says no already, but they haven't told her okay?
[John:] Yeah
[Arthur:] So, erm, she said oh you are erm on a few drugs, but there anti-inflammatory drugs that you're on
[John:] Yeah
[Arthur:] okay, I think that's for your stomach, erm [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] You're getting all excited, getting everybody else
[Arthur:] No, no no, no I said to her if we could just know, cos er, moving bodies and cars and so on, she probably understands but she said as soon as you see a doctor out here, speak to them and, and then we can erm, but they may know somebody
[John:] They may not
[Arthur:] but I say, I said to her that you, you'd said that you had the biopsy within, you'd know the results within forty eight hours, but she said oh no they could take a week
[speaker002:] oh stop rushing us then
[Arthur:] We've had the word, nobody's being rushed
[speaker002:] I know, I don't he's, he's like this, he's got to get on, get everything done, that's what I said to you the other day, leave and I can get myself sorted, because I know him, he doesn't, he doesn't wait
[Arthur:] But he's not gonna be in that much longer are ya?
[John:] No
[speaker002:] No, but he
[John:] but it's still, I mean, even if I don't, even if I don't come out tomorrow, I'd come out on Saturday
[speaker002:] If you come out on Saturday night, the best idea for me to do is to get Philip home
[John:] This afternoon, yeah
[speaker002:] No not this afternoon
[Arthur:] This is what we've been saying
[John:] Oh not this afternoon
[Arthur:] So what, what we could do
[speaker002:] He wants us to call
[Arthur:] no
[John:] Well, well, no
[Arthur:] no, it's not that, listen, listen now, now listen to Santa now, listen to Santa, if you went home, if you went, listen to me now if you went home the day before Philip goes to get everything ready for him so you haven't
[speaker002:] No, I'm taking, no it's not that, he's got to go home and be settled
[Arthur:] Well that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying, if you go then the following day we'll bring Philip and then by which time you most probably got news about the old codger here do what, it just seems easier for you that's all...
[speaker002:] If I get, it'll take the twenty four hours to settle in, [LAUGHTER] don't you think so Arthur?... erm, he'll rush us out now, we can't
[Arthur:] No we won't, we'll stay here
[speaker002:] Listen, right, we'll sort it yes you are [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] He's not, he can't do, he's got nothing to do with this actually, he's got nothing to do with it
[John:] I can't
[Arthur:] he's in the hands of these people here, who tell him what to do and what not to do
[speaker002:] He's really, you, you know, he's
[Arthur:] no he won't
[John:] No, I don't say a dicky bird to
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] It's nothing to do with him
[speaker002:] that's a change, that's a change
[Arthur:] No
[speaker002:] Oh you're getting better
[Arthur:] no he'd, he's got to do as he's told and he knows that and that's it and at the moment she says we don't know so we don't know, but we know that sooner or later it's
[John:] I'm not
[speaker002:] we know it's sooner or later
[Arthur:] It's gonna be pretty imminent
[speaker002:] Shh, let's shut up about it
[John:] I'm not to read
[speaker002:] shut up
[John:] I'm not to read
[speaker002:] shut up shut up
[John:] Yeah
[speaker002:] we'll make our minds up
[Arthur:] That means she'll make her mind up and tell us, yeah we'll make our minds up, the royal we [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] My husband and I [LAUGHTER]
[John:] I might see somebody tonight, I might not
[Arthur:] Oh you'll see somebody
[speaker002:] Er Arthur
[Arthur:] What?
[speaker002:] my husband and I [LAUGHTER]
[John:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Are forever rowing [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] no, my husband and I
[John:] No, we've come, we've come to the agreement that what
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] ah, we will make up our minds
[John:] Yes
[Arthur:] We will
[John:] We will
[speaker002:] My husband and I will decide [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] I, God
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER] Well stop bossing
[Arthur:] You'll be okay
[speaker002:] Alright, we'll get off and have a visitor's night
[Arthur:] yeah, but he's gonna do it, he is gonna do it, he's gonna do it
[speaker002:] And he's
[Arthur:] he is gonna, yeah
[speaker002:] he's so busy
[John:] I did tell her that about two days
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] he's so busy doing other people's jobs, he can't
[Arthur:] Well he's so busy about to do it and getting himself ready to do it, that he is gonna do it though [LAUGHTER] This morning he was playing erm, zombies, he had a double sleeping bag, two sleeping bags and made a, an enormous, erm, a double bed out of it and he was inside it
[John:] Yeah
[Arthur:] I'm a zombie, and I said get it off your head lad, I'm a zombie, who, who, walked downstairs so, there's a big plant there and, it's ever so large mind ya, sent it flying, I'm a zombie [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] bang
[John:] He had it flying then?
[Arthur:] He looked at me gone out, absolutely gone out and I clouted him and he's [LAUGHTER] what's the matter? And there's this thing scattered all over the place coming home at fifteen and he's still playing at zombies
[John:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] hmm, oh God
[speaker002:] But he, I mean, he has because it's hard to, and he can't settle down to it
[Arthur:] He's got a lot of everything to do ain't he? Poor Paul
[speaker002:] I mean the
[Arthur:] mm crosswords
[speaker002:] Cleaning out that garage, honestly I mean that it's, I've never seen anything like it, he must of that day
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] he must of done Arthur, he moved and pulled everything, he's ever such a good boy, he's says to ya, I don't know why he says but I can eat as much as I can, said I never get fat, I said I know why you don't get fat
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] you use half your energy up in your jobs
[Arthur:] That's right
[speaker002:] every bit of energy he uses
[Arthur:] Yeah, it's his jaw, a jaw tongue... I think jaws and tongues use up more energy than anything else
[speaker002:] Yeah, I do...
[Arthur:] Are you ready then?
[speaker002:] Yeah, better put me coat on
[Arthur:] No
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] ready, ready for this, this crossword
[speaker002:] I put me coat on
[Arthur:] we're not going anywhere, that was Scilly, [reading] nineteen down, stop [] cease
[John:] Stop
[Arthur:] cease... [reading] fifteen down, state, state for example, say, fifteen across, we're doing well here aren't we? Fifteen across [reading] machine gun from the er faster []
[speaker002:] I haven't scored any yet
[Arthur:] from the er faster perhaps
[speaker002:] all the things to visit right
[John:] Yeah
[Arthur:] that's er,
[John:] you what?
[speaker002:] Are your bowels alright?
[John:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Have they had to give you an enema?
[John:] No
[Arthur:] That's sun hat, anagram of sun hat, we're doing well here, N, S, I, G, N S... places...
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Arthur:] U, H, A, T...
[speaker002:] right...
[Arthur:] we're doing well here father, were doing well, four down, I get it here, double S oh no... it's upset isn't it?
[speaker002:] oh what
[John:] I think I was moving
[speaker002:] Oh I see
[John:] I was waiting for the ambulance the ambulance just came
[Arthur:] oh good
[speaker002:] Don't, the only thing
[John:] yeah
[speaker002:] and see what happens
[John:] but I mean as I say
[speaker002:] Yes alright
[John:] yeah that's what I'm saying is at the moment the thing is you
[speaker002:] I don't want you rushing backwards and forwards like a bloody yo-yo
[John:] I don't think you
[Arthur:] no
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker002:] I think
[John:] it's actually
[speaker002:] I think
[John:] it's actually green
[speaker002:] when they can't visit, he's going to have to come and visit and that's when
[John:] yeah
[speaker002:] to get in the car to go to the hospital
[John:] Yeah
[speaker002:] I think that's his one
[John:] yeah
[speaker002:] He goes to pieces, he's lost all confidence ain't he, in himself and he's getting worse and you try to tell him but
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] Ah, it's beaten me, only a couple
[John:] Take it with you Charlie
[Arthur:] No I'll let you do it, I, I've pointed you in the right direction
[John:] Yeah
[speaker002:] after he's organized and bossed and
[Arthur:] He hasn't done that at all you are amazing
[speaker002:] or organizing and bossing
[Arthur:] I'm in a different, I'm on a different planet to this one no,
[John:] And whatever you do, whatever you do don't forget to get
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] get two of them
[speaker002:] No, I'll get
[Arthur:] get two four-pinters who said that?
[speaker002:] Paul, he's
[Arthur:] Paul will tell you anything he's the class monitor you see, that's what it is
[speaker002:] I said oh I [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Yeah, aye, he's alright
[speaker002:] I said right, I said to I don't bother to all the I said oh dear Paul
[Arthur:] Tony told his risque joke at dinner didn't he? Oh just after finish eating
[speaker002:] On this, on this bleeper?
[Arthur:] No it's not on this
[speaker002:] Oh I hope not
[Arthur:] he wouldn't of told it if it gone on this [LAUGHTER]... it's only that one isn't it? Oh no, no, he told that one, he told some weird ones that go on and on and on and on and the end is
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[John:] No punch line
[Arthur:] there's nothing to it, it's aargh
[speaker002:] When, when Pat and Ann was at Notre Dame, Pat used to sell, tell stuff oh and they went on and on and on
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] and they got boring in the end cos they went on, you know about a bit too, you've got to stop
[Arthur:] Mm, well it's supposed, they're designed to do that aren't they, so at the end of it you're ready to throttle them, when you got the punch line... [LAUGHTER] it's on telly
[speaker002:] Oh my goodness [LAUGHTER]
[John:] Is that on telly?
[Arthur:] Yeah
[John:] How the dickens you've been listening to
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] [whispering] It's alright, don't worry, don't worry [] I can't understand a word he says
[John:] he gets there in the end
[Arthur:] Oh, oh well that's then
[speaker002:] We're not asking anybody
[Arthur:] I know
[speaker003:] ...
[John:] no wonder he was bright
[speaker002:] Yes
[John:] is he
[Arthur:] pardon? yeah, with us, sorry, there we are it's still on doctor's Leave him don't, let him do what he wants to do
[speaker002:] I thought he might want to go out there for a little while
[Arthur:] She's, he's been round there
[speaker002:] Oh
[Arthur:] things are happening the goldfish, seen the size of those fish? They're worth a bit when they're like that aren't they?
[John:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Alive
[speaker002:] Oh yes
[Arthur:] Those in that pond are the erm oh aye, there's fish in it
[speaker002:] they're that size
[Arthur:] yeah you know the other night you were on about the fish that you had for your tea
[speaker002:] Mm
[Arthur:] about that size, there's a few less today, have you noticed?
[speaker002:] Yeah, had fish for tea
[Arthur:] Yeah, had goldfish the other night, goldfish and
[John:] there's been some very good compliments flying round this place as far as the service is, the meals are prepared
[speaker002:] Oh yes
[John:] it is good stuff
[Arthur:] It is good stuff is it?
[speaker002:] Oh yeah, by the way he's got to stay until after Sunday lunch
[Arthur:] Oh aye, yeah, you're gonna have your whisk haven't ya? We'll bring you out after Sunday, I'll tell, we'll tell them that we'll bring them out this Sunday and take him in next Saturday [LAUGHTER]
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker002:] He says, he er
[John:] in a bottle
[Arthur:] Really? So you finished it off
[John:] We, we had the er
[Arthur:] the what?
[John:] This always comes in the
[Arthur:] the bottle does?
[John:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Ah does it?
[Arthur:] Ah
[speaker002:] Have to water it down when they get to him [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] that's why, that's why he's in
[Arthur:] So who, who has the drop of the hard stuff in here then? Everybody
[speaker002:] Everybody
[Arthur:] like they've had in the corner, he likes it does he?
[speaker002:] Oh yes
[Arthur:] what happens if it runs out, have they got another bottle that's
[John:] I've, I've no idea
[Arthur:] You'll have to find out won't you? You're allowed one and one only, do they not come back for seconds do they? [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] it's er normal
[Arthur:] Get down the pub [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] say when [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] I've got a terrible stammer [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER] oh dear
[Arthur:] Oh, bet, bet you spill a lot though when you drink it don't ya, right down your throat it goes [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] I've never known anywhere where they do that
[Arthur:] Oh yeah, mm, the thing these days
[speaker002:] I live in the past I do
[Arthur:] You do, I'm afraid you do
[speaker002:] I'm afraid I do
[Arthur:] you never know
[speaker002:] there's me
[Arthur:] look at it here
[speaker002:] You should of seen them this morning, Paula was lined up with her pills and then he stood next to her with his pills and erm...
[Arthur:] the first time I've taken a pill for years and years and she said, my taste and my smell
[speaker002:] The taste
[Arthur:] trying to get my taste back and my smell back yeah, but it came back the other day didn't it?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] but it, no don't know, no it's horrid innit? it's all catarrh she says
[speaker002:] It's all er
[Arthur:] doesn't sound like it does it?
[speaker002:] No you don't sound as if you've got
[Arthur:] No she says I do, the doc
[speaker002:] Yeah, catarrh I tell you, I tell you what it was
[Arthur:] I'll have a Polo, give us a Polo
[speaker002:] I tell you what is good for catarrh Arthur is
[Arthur:] Have you got any grapes?
[John:] No
[speaker002:] You've got, I can see bowls of 'em
[John:] Yes
[Arthur:] There are, look at that, it's a hospital Polo there's a bit already been taken out of it
[speaker002:] Yeah, he's already eaten some
[John:] Have you, er have you seen that Polo advert on the er, on the telly?
[Arthur:] On a
[John:] The Polo advert, when Polos were first invented
[Arthur:] Mm
[John:] the Polo on each mint on the hole
[Arthur:] Mm
[John:] was laboriously
[Arthur:] knocked out, chipped out
[John:] chipped out, aye and of course we had a machine doing all that work, it was no longer done by hand it was done by machine
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Knocked out by machine
[John:] yeah, and he, the hand, the hand as a chisel
[Arthur:] Mm
[John:] revolving it, two hands doing the first job just changed to
[Arthur:] a machine
[John:] a, a machine, yeah...
[Arthur:] Mm, that was to the bits in the middle, don't tell you that do you think that's true? Must have got machines to do it round like that mm, how'd they do it? Hell of a skilful job that, to carve Polo on each Polo... mm... I can't do this, it's too hard, it's tart, four letters
[speaker002:] What for, what
[Arthur:] Tart
[speaker002:] Yeah, but what's the clue?
[Arthur:] Tart
[speaker002:] Tart
[Arthur:] four letters
[speaker002:] Four letters
[Arthur:] No, can't have that, pie, cake...
[speaker002:] what, is there any letters been there?
[Arthur:] No, no I'll give you one with a three letter one, first letter R, clue, rank... could it be row, rank, row
[speaker002:] Oh what's that
[Arthur:] I was thinking of rank like, officer's and things like that
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] couldn't be a row could it?
[speaker002:] Couldn't be what?
[Arthur:] A row [spelling] R O W [] ranks, the rank of something [spelling] R O W [] ain't it, row?
[speaker002:] No not [spelling] R O W [] is it?
[Arthur:] Yeah it is now, yeah... oh
[speaker002:] Tart
[Arthur:] savoury food item, first one D last one T, six altogether, savory food item...
[speaker002:] D and the last one was?
[Arthur:] Was T and there's six altogether
[speaker002:] Six altogether
[Arthur:] renowned, famed if you're renowned ain't it? Sorry, have you got it?
[speaker002:] No
[Arthur:] Give you another one, standard, four, first one is I... no, they're too hard aren't they?
[speaker002:] Much too hard...
[Arthur:] How'd you spell occasional?... No it's too many letters occasional
[speaker002:] I think of that
[speaker003:] ...
[speaker002:] It's not
[Arthur:] cartoon here, can me dad borrow the racing page? And a fiver and a fiver, no, he must of put a bet on, borrowed the paper and borrowed the money to put the bet on... same day dry cleaning service, you can pick it up at two minutes to midnight madam hmm
[speaker002:] can't come to terms with it
[Arthur:] Be that concentrating, it's too much effort to concentrate, yeah Paul's thinking about his homework
[speaker002:] He's probably done something you don't know, you haven't seen
[Arthur:] Yeah, I mustn't put the lad down
[speaker002:] Yeah, he's been working all day Paul
[Arthur:] Yeah, he was doing a bit of drama this morning wasn't he?
[speaker002:] I don't know
[John:] A zombie
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] A zombie, yeah oh he said show me how to carve the chicken
[speaker002:] He said show me how to carve, actually I bet he'd make a good chef
[Arthur:] He made the gravy, Paul?
[speaker002:] and he made the gravy and he
[Arthur:] He can make gravy [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] he said there's fat on this gravy and
[Arthur:] So Tony came along and said no it's not it's oil, fat is oil, when is oil fat, when it's, oh God
[speaker002:] He's quite good you know, Paul
[Arthur:] He's what?
[speaker002:] He's a good cook, he knows what he's doing
[Arthur:] Yeah, yeah, he's, he's, have you ever had one of his pizzas?
[speaker002:] Had it, I
[Arthur:] You know one of his that he makes?
[speaker002:] No I haven't had a pizza
[Arthur:] You want him to get you to make a pizza, you know how you buy these pizzas, nothing to them, brilliant pizza
[speaker002:] Mm
[Arthur:] get him to make you pizza, brilliant, I'm not joking what have the
[speaker002:] He cooks really nice
[Arthur:] yeah oh yeah, it'll take him all day to get ready for it, psyching himself up, mentally prepare himself to get into the kitchen yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[speaker002:] but he does he gets on with it
[Arthur:] Cooking?
[speaker002:] No anything, he get, he's like Paula he gets on with it
[Arthur:] True, true
[speaker002:] I mean he doesn't stand and dither and think, that's not
[Arthur:] yeah, he can't [LAUGHTER] he, he can't stand and dither, he moves around a lot and doesn't think [LAUGHTER] if only he could stand and dither and think [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] No, you shouldn't talk Paul
[Arthur:] Oh come on he's
[speaker002:] Oh he's a good kid Paul...
[Arthur:] yeah but, she's the one I spoke to the other day, she says you're a character
[speaker002:] Did she?
[Arthur:] Yeah, she said he's a right character isn't he? She said she, she liked his erm pyjama bottoms [LAUGHTER] look at that how far we are from the rain, right across the middle
[speaker002:] Yeah, oh yeah
[Arthur:] he said it's like a spring like day he's saying in the South East
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] finest Southern over Scotland tonight
[speaker002:] and what is it here?
[Arthur:] Lovely tomorrow, erm, two or three tonight
[speaker002:] That's nice
[John:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Certainly is
[John:] Did they give you the results?
[Arthur:] Yeah I'll ask her, she's the one I spoke to before
[speaker002:] Oh they're talking about medication
[Arthur:] Yeah, they're up to their eyes in there
[speaker002:] They're up to their eyes in it, you can't ask them while they're, they're it's not fair
[speaker003:] ...
[John:] going home on the Sun Saturday, he said well looking forward to
[Arthur:] Where, where d'ya leave it, it's not at home is it? Is it at home?
[John:] I don't know if it, whether he has got it at home
[Arthur:] Or a hostel
[John:] whether he's decided to and now he's too ill to be able to, to look after himself
[Arthur:] Yeah, so yeah, poor old sod
[John:] It could be anything
[speaker002:] Yeah I know
[John:] you can be any age from fifty onwards
[Arthur:] Yeah, that's what we was saying wasn't it? Yeah, exactly that.
[John:] Yeah, there's enough people coming to see me
[speaker002:] Oh yes I know what I mean to say is
[John:] They're all the same yeah
[Arthur:] on his own
[speaker002:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Yeah
[John:] How much time do you both say
[Arthur:] lad with the glasses, was it a big lad?
[speaker002:] No, he used to work for
[Arthur:] or was that Wallie the one with the big lad with the glasses? There was one of them a big with glasses
[speaker002:] Oh yeah that was Wallie
[Arthur:] That was Wallie, Bob was the oh yes, yes, yeah, remember Bob yeah
[speaker002:] He was another, I had no bother really, no family
[John:] almost servant type you know, he tied himself to you and you feel he couldn't do you enough for you
[Arthur:] Mm, mm, yeah, but I, but the lad he was the, he was a Communist who worked for you
[John:] lived round the corner to us
[speaker002:] Oh yeah
[Arthur:] What was, what was he called? Erm
[speaker002:] you mean
[Arthur:] what was his first name?
[speaker002:] Norman, Norman
[John:] Not Norman
[Arthur:] Norman
[speaker002:] erm
[Arthur:] he was a red hot red wasn't he?
[speaker002:] Yeah
[John:] Red hot red
[Arthur:] Slimmish chap
[John:] and quite, quite cuddly wife
[Arthur:] I never saw the cuddly wife
[speaker002:] She was a, she was a nurse
[Arthur:] I never saw her
[speaker002:] there's a sister
[John:] We, we, we
[Arthur:] I did over Christmas, I did some Carlton and Alfy down there... no, no that's where I met, I had a Christmas holiday job, couple of days worked for him, I was lugging these vices up
[John:] You were working for me?
[Arthur:] Yeah
[speaker002:] Oh no it wouldn't be Norman would it
[Arthur:] No, no, the name Nor the name Norman doesn't ring a bell
[John:] No
[Arthur:] yeah he was a red
[John:] Frank
[Arthur:] Frank
[John:] Frankie was
[speaker002:] a little man
[John:] A little man he
[Arthur:] was it Frank? Oh he had a family, he had a family It's on... is when you get a click... at the end.
[John:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] No, doesn't fit on... it's stopped recording change the... change the tape... so... a su... but going back to that she was so convinced that it was gonna be a heck of a job that she would save us time by taking all the clothes out putting them somewhere else... and I said... it'll take us three minutes
[John:] Ten minutes... time on
[Arthur:] with two people
[John:] Just go and see what he wants.
[speaker003:] Oh some of that.
[Arthur:] What do you want... drink?
[speaker003:] Yes, please yeah.
[Arthur:] There you are.... Your wish is my command. Okay then.
[speaker003:] Lovely! Thanks very much.
[Arthur:] Is that enough? Do you
[speaker003:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] want a bit more?
[speaker003:] No I'll be alright there thank you.
[Arthur:] Okay then. Do you want that... a bit closer
[speaker003:] Yep.
[Arthur:] for you.
[speaker003:] Yeah, over there.
[Arthur:] Okay?
[speaker003:] Yep, thanks.
[Arthur:] Ah. If you need... anything just give us a shout, alright?
[John:] Everything is so cheap there.
[speaker003:] Big job, I mean that job on the... on the phones... was!
[Arthur:] Oh your... oh your extension?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] You like don't you?
[Arthur:] It's looks very good. Those, you know your little pieces of wood that hold the glass
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] to stop
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] them s sliding forward... they want, they want staining, yeah.
[John:] Yeah, alright.
[Arthur:] That's all. It looks... it looks passable dunnit?
[John:] It certainly gives daylight in doesn't it?
[Arthur:] Mm. Yeah. I
[John:] Yeah has it been too obvious?
[Arthur:] In fact it's an improvement rather than an alteration, it's... you've actually improved it haven't you?
[speaker003:] But you will let me have my tablets before I go? Yes, definitely. Would you? Thanks a lot. Can't... to you how much to take.
[Arthur:] No she's er... she's so... she's so keen at not letting... go of... a discussion... she comes back, she's like a terrier! She worries it and worries it and
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] and gets it by the throat and worries it!... It must be very frustrating to... try and sort something out with her! [LAUGHTER]
[John:] it's all apologies. out before we've absolutely... abominable!
[Arthur:] Has she always been like this or is
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] it... always? Yeah, oh! Come back to it and back to it and back to it!
[John:] She... if you've only had to have an... you can't just say ooh... watch your... and er... every time we've away... you take four times as much as it, it's possible to wear!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]... Sounds very familiar this does!
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Did you never get to the stage where you... to took stuff out... or
[John:] Oh yeah definitely! I had to do that.
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]... No [LAUGHTER]... He had erm... you know whe when you go in a caravan... and yo you you you're towing weight aren't you?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] So you've got to watch what you take and if it's not necessary... you don't take it if you've got any sense... but if you're gonna take everything on the assumption ju just in case, the just in case, just in cases you know, don't work all these... the fail-safes ten times over... you're overloaded, ah but you're so much unnecessary weight... it all comes back unused, untouched. And with Paula... loading the caravan... she would be putting stuff in, I would say why are we taking that? Will you have enough? And I with that
[John:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] you'd have one hell of a row over something daft but it was... di got this idea in her mind so I can see now where it's come from.
[John:] Oh aye, you ought to meet her mum! Oh beautiful!
[Arthur:] Anyway... so... yes, she's at the bungalow... she'll be back tonight. What's happening with Philip I don't know whether Philip will be able... I think what we'll have to do is... one of us will have to drive the... Metro
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] er... the other one of us will erm... take the... one of the other cars and put Philip in that... and drive him there. And then... you know, we've got a car there that we come back in... otherwise we won't be able to come back.... How's Paul today?
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] Is he
[John:] ... Pardon?
[Arthur:] How's Paul?
[John:] Paul?
[Arthur:] The lad... Paul.
[John:] Oh he's a... he says until the likes of. But he's... doped up to the eyeballs and... he's in... you know, painkillers.
[Arthur:] Painkillers, yeah.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Oh.
[John:] He doesn't know what's coming to him.
[Arthur:] Have you seen any doctors this morning?
[John:] Yeah, I've seen the lot.
[Arthur:] Mr?
[John:] yes.
[Arthur:] Ooh!
[John:] five hundred, five hundred... I could only say he wasn't, five o'clock last night he was no... so he went to the one doctor, so to the erm... what's gonna happen when they... when he, when they can go down the doctors... that's first of all go into this and after ten, twenty four hours doing this kind of thing for forty eight hours up.
[Arthur:] So you can't... you can't rush this? I it has got to go
[John:] A hundred eighty five.
[Arthur:] it's got to... So if it's got to take forty eight you would of thought you'd have... you'd have known today then? Does he expect... it to be, the results
[John:] I think
[Arthur:] today?
[John:] Oh yeah.
[Arthur:] They would expect them today?
[John:] Yep. Oh yes he's think it's very. They can do anything but... it's that one.
[Arthur:] This one?
[John:] That's the one.
[Arthur:] Yeah. I will do that.... Tha that's your drug sheet.
[John:] They've come to wake this gaffer up.
[Arthur:] Who's gaffer? This lad... nearest to you?
[John:] No I didn't mean my gaffer, no the other one.
[Arthur:] Oh the other one is your gaffer. When you say you're not feeling so good... is it sort of headache-ish... feeling
[John:] Aye
[Arthur:] off it?
[John:] Just feeling off it, yeah.
[Arthur:] Yeah, there's a bit of that going around you know, you could have just that.
[John:] I'm continually dra drained... my... I seem to get tired, or... out of sorts
[Arthur:] Mm.
[John:] my eyes... nuisance.
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] What do you mean?
[John:] It feels, feels... it, I feel as if I've got something in my eye all the time.
[Arthur:] Like sand?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Like a like a rough
[John:] yes,.
[Arthur:] When was the last time you went to the optician?
[John:] Just before you came here I think.
[Arthur:] Over two years ago then?
[John:] Yeah. I'm due to go.
[Arthur:] I think you need to go.
[John:] Yeah. Oh I do need to go now I mean.
[Arthur:] Yeah but if you tol if you told the optician that they might... might be able to do something about it. If you don't tell him it though... and you assume he's gonna to pick it up just by looking at your eyes... he's not going to... or she's not going to pick it up.
[John:] Yes.
[Arthur:] Have you got an optician down here? Has brother?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Philip?
[John:] Philip's been going but... I don't know how to get to it.
[speaker003:] Go home this afternoon? You're not. And he give me all the jollop... ready? Take this, take this, do this, do that, you can fucking... kiss is better!
[John:] Always seeking attention!
[speaker003:] !
[Arthur:] I see.
[John:] You know, seeking attention.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] I delegate these in here
[Arthur:] The chatterbox do it. Find out. I would of thought they'd have come and said to you, you know, as soon they got the results say... the news is this. Did they do that when the first biopsy report through?
[John:] No, not not
[Arthur:] How did yo how did you find out?
[John:] When they were prattling... while they were prattling.
[Arthur:] You listened in?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] So nobody actually came along to you?
[John:] No, they were... see they were talking, when no, when they prattle... you're in tune with the prattle
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] you not outside the prattle in precluded completely.
[Arthur:] So they're all prattling away?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]... And you prattle along with the prattlers?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]... So... ah well! I'll pop back... I'll have a look [whispering] [].
[John:] But i it's funny how... what happens now? Does this lump remain in me? Or take it out?
[Arthur:] Well this is what you need to talk to them about... isn't it? Things like that.
[John:] What if... it's gone?
[Arthur:] What was that? That you will have it? Is it
[John:] It's in you isn't it?
[Arthur:] Is it,i i is it, does it irritate you? Does it itch at you? Does is gnaw at you?
[John:] It just sli slightly gnaws at times.
[Arthur:] Like your ear. That's slightly
[John:] That's slightly
[Arthur:] Yeah... slightly gnaws at you.
[John:] Feel a slight irritation. I should I say.
[Arthur:] I better find these.
[John:] I think I can you see but it's
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] been there all the time.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] See
[Arthur:] Haven't they given you any... any cream for your skin?
[John:] They have.
[Arthur:] But have they given you any cream that you can't get other than through a doctor?
[John:] Oh yeah.
[Arthur:] Cos i is it... pre by prescription or di
[John:] All by prescription.
[Arthur:] Ah well then.
[John:] Yeah... it's only to keep the itching under control.
[Arthur:] Mhm.
[John:] I mean, that's all doctors know I mean... when it itches it itches and I scratch it and then I cre cream out and put on.
[Arthur:] Mm.
[John:] I mean I asked for cream when I came here.
[Arthur:] And she couldn't give you any stronger than a certain level... could she?
[John:] No, she couldn't give me erm... the... the, the one
[Arthur:] Won't give you Betnovate will they?
[John:] They won't give me Betnovate cos
[Arthur:] Is that on pre
[John:] is the... from the doctors
[Arthur:] that's on prescription.
[John:] i... the lower one down to that.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] They will give you Betnovate if it's, if it's absolutely necessary. But this one will do.
[Arthur:] Has, has Betnovate got steroids in it?
[John:] Oh aye.
[Arthur:] I think that's the reason. Oh dinners are starting... being brought round dad. Wouldn't say no! What have you got? Hydrocortisone... cream. Does... does it do any good?
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] Oh. Tony used to find, you know when he wears erm... he used to have problems with yo... he still has
[John:] Yes he did.
[Arthur:] still has, didn't he? He used to find that er
[John:] They cha he changed it.
[Arthur:] change it every so often if
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] you kept going u... with it... it seemed to lose its strength.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Or it seemed to lose its... beneficial influ... influence on your skin.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] The old chap in the corner's got them.
[John:] Has he got?
[Arthur:] Is it, is it the man that? Granddad in the corner.
[John:] That granddad?
[Arthur:] No that granddad.
[speaker003:] Not really, I never get a holiday in the summer! Never get a holiday! Never get a holiday.
[John:] That was the granddad that was over there when you first came in.
[Arthur:] Is that the old guy who's
[John:] That was the ol... he was... that chap was in that bed when I came in.
[Arthur:] Oh.
[John:] And that's his wife that runs round after him.
[Arthur:] No, it's a different one then. Eh up! Salad is it? Is that for you, no?... Looks a good meal this.
[John:] I've forgotten what I've ordered.
[Arthur:] Steak and chips I think. An eight ounce steak... chips... side salad... mushrooms
[John:] Yes please!
[Arthur:] Can't I tempt you with you that?
[John:] Mm?
[Arthur:] Can't I tempt you with
[John:] Oh aye
[Arthur:] that?
[John:] Yeah. Yeah, mm? a nice... mixed
[Arthur:] What?
[John:] grill.
[Arthur:] A mixed grill.
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] Well, what we're having for a dinner... for lunch... I think we're having bacon and eggs and sausage and things like that. A, a, a grill, a real good grill.
[John:] Ee!
[Arthur:] There you are! Here you are! Here's the food wagon. Can they remember what you've
[John:] my mother used to
[Arthur:] Mm. A smooth walk, have you noticed how she just glides across, there you are! What have you got then? Side salad
[John:] Turkey with mushrooms.
[Arthur:] And chips. I'll just do this crossword.... I'll do your crossword for you.
[John:] I tell you what
[Arthur:] Yep.
[John:] they make a good chip.
[Arthur:] Ha! Nice chips are they?... [reading] Bearable, attend... []. [talk in background]
[speaker003:] Have you finished with that?
[John:] Excuse my back
[Arthur:] No, I'm doing this!
[John:] and, and I'll forgive your ignorance!
[Arthur:] I was doing that.
[John:] Oh.
[Arthur:] Oh! Can I sit on the bed?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Not a am I allowed? It's a bit of lump there. That's... [sighing] Oh []!
[John:] These are quite lumpy.
[Arthur:] [sighing] Oh []!
[John:] Mm?
[Arthur:] There we are.
[John:] Do you want a chip?
[Arthur:] No, you're alright I wouldn't... no... wouldn't take a
[John:] A dying man's chip!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] A dying man's chip []! Would you give your last chip... or is it, would you give your last Rolo to me? It looks, it looks good that!
[John:] It is good. How are you getting on with him?... Taste bud stuff.
[Arthur:] I could smell something last... night... er
[John:] But your breath smells you realize that don't you?
[Arthur:] No... does it?
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] Oh. That's
[John:] We we now whether that's a good sign or whether a bad sign I don't know.
[Arthur:] Don't know... could be. I'll have to have a...
[John:] Mm?
[Arthur:] I'll have a... I dunno... what she says is... what it is... apparently it's right across, right through... is erm
[John:] A blockage inside.
[Arthur:] a blockage yeah... it goes right across you, you've got... you've got catarrh... and I'm thinking... you can only have catarrh if you've got a, you know if you had a real bad cold and... or the flu or something but... she said it's all in there. I've gotta keep taking these things... one a day.... Yeah, yesterday I could smell things... first time for ages and ages! But it's been doing that you see, it's coming at... it's come and gone. And when it's come it's usually been a case of you can smell something horrible like erm... you know when they're emptying the slurries... out in the pig farms.... But usually no... can't smell anything there. Does it smell then?
[John:] Mm?
[Arthur:] Does it smell good?
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] No, oh... cos I can't smell anything.... The food tastes like to... erm... cardboard! You know it's all... it's all just... one taste
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] it's like a flat taste.... Yet last night I could taste erm... er the... food we had for tea last night... and it's lovely when you can taste.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] You just don't realize that, but when it dri drifts away from you.... Cor! You're enjoying this aren't you?
[John:] Yeah.... Ten more of them I might be.
[Arthur:] I dunno.... What on earth are you doing? Taking the skin off?... You've done well.... There you are.
[John:] Can't eat it properly
[Arthur:] Can't you?
[John:] The skin.
[Arthur:] The skin off the tomato? Nobody came, no.
[John:] Some did, save me going to bed!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] Peel the skin, put the skin....
[Arthur:] Ooh... a bit of roughage does you good then. Maybe you should eat that... knowing your complaint!
[John:] I thi I think he's coming up here.
[Arthur:] It looks good. It tastes good. By golly it does you good!
[John:] That's got in there those... got those at seven.... You know, when you've hit the... drains at the bottom.
[Arthur:] Oh yes! Yeah.
[John:] ... the er... the manhole
[Arthur:] Mhm.
[John:] and digging stuff out of there... then after he'd gone... the whole... with all the dairy round it... it was... sprouting with er....
[Arthur:] Seeds... just go down there. Say it was sewage farms that's that's what they have... you've got a drip on the end of your nose.
[John:] Oh. When I
[Arthur:] Oh, you've got a bit of a cold haven't you?
[John:] Been and payed the poll tax.
[Arthur:] The poll tax, oh.
[John:] Cos I got told this afternoon... he... haven't made a very good job of... this cleaning up...! I... understand is he took some of his out... out of their storage, shouldn't be shifted... I said not worth... really. What do you mean? I said and er... sat and... he said I'll see to it.
[Arthur:] So he we came along... dug the tomato plants up and took them home?
[John:] Somebody come over.... I dunno, on the one side... down a bit so he wasn't so noticeable... and round the other side [LAUGHTER] there's []!
[Arthur:] Oh.
[John:] Supposed to be good for your back... found it very strong though.
[Arthur:] What's supposed to be good for you?
[John:] This.
[Arthur:] It's got iron in it hasn't it? Something like that, plenty of iron. That's why it's a green colour... it's got iron in it. Mm, yeah.
[John:] It's not perfect for me.
[Arthur:] I hear you didn't have er, you didn't enjoy your liver the other day? Ox liver or something... is that right?
[John:] It was so
[Arthur:] It was foul? Pity that cos... lamb's liver's beautiful isn't it?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Gorgeous.... Well I've never seen anybody carve erm... a tomato before. This, this noo... noo nouveau cuisine.
[John:] You'd never think we could eat... could eat proper food.
[Arthur:] Oh proper! [LAUGHTER]
[John:] Possibly there's one
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]... Bet the queen doesn't do that!
[John:] What do you want to do?
[Arthur:] No, I'll go back home and... get some bacon and sausage and eggs, see to myself. And I've gotta go in and do the budget... and get the budget today. Got to sort that out. Gotta find this two and a half percent that has dropped us in it! You know he's given us all seven and half
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] and there's a two and half percent... short... fall... that we've gotta fight... so I'm gonna... se see where I can get it from. See which courses they can put round what... and squeeze a bit of money out of it. Good job they didn't give us more than seven and a half percent isn't it?
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] I think we'd have been right up the creek without the paddle!... It's very good at the actually... oh!... Or they're pun... they're pouring money into the countryside now... forty five million, he's going in for these developments... er... to create a better countryside... just announced this week. I wonder why? I wonder why?... It's the most considerate and caring government we've ev we've ever had... over this last fortnight!
[John:] And it isn't at all, cos he knows... possibly the other way and they won't get in.
[Arthur:] Right. For how many years have we been told it's tax payers' money... do you remember Maggie and the tax payers' money, it's like... this animal somewhere called the tax payer... but it came out of the wall... as if we weren't one of them... and that we had to look after the tax payers' money. What are they doing with my money now? They're bribing people left, right and centre with it! I object to that!... Mind you, I suppose if... the others were in they'd do exactly the same thing wouldn't they?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] I don't think you should be allowed to tinker around with the... with things like this... say within... six months of a general election... and that's why they should have fixed term... appointments.
[John:] This is why... I know them, it's loads of people to get to... decision but do... er... this representation isn't it?
[Arthur:] Proportional representation.
[John:] ... cross section.
[Arthur:] Yeah,prov provided you don't get like you have in Israel at the moment... where you got... ve ve very... minor parties... the religious
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] parties... that take about three, four percent of the vote... but they have got far more sway over the government... than their vote really.
[John:] No, they haven't!
[Arthur:] It shows.
[John:] Definitely!
[Arthur:] Well they're holding the government
[John:] Israel
[Arthur:] there.
[John:] yes, but it's the rest of the government... the centre... that doesn't happen.
[Arthur:] Well i it... is, they're building on the West Bank
[John:] Yes.
[Arthur:] in, in wha what is Jordan really, not what was Jordan, what is Jordan they call it now, they call it the occupied territories... it... seems to clean it up if you call it that. But these... they've erm... the religious parties... you've got build there, you know we've got to expand Israel this is our homeland and if you don't do this we're not going to support you.
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] And the Americans are saying if you build that we pull out our... our, our aid to you.... It's, it's a bit like in... Northern Ireland where you've got your... the religious erm... influence... they've got somebody like... Ian Paisley... the strength of that man... and his group
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] phenomenal! That a... don't you want your lettuce?
[speaker003:] Finished all?
[John:] Thank you, thanks a lot.
[speaker003:] Sweet is on its way.
[John:] No real need for them, you know, they're bloody
[Arthur:] What's for pud... do you know?
[John:] Yep... there's er a... you select them.
[Arthur:] Oh it's a... the trolley comes round is it and you choose?
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] The cheese trolley and the sweet trolley and the gateaux trolley! No?
[John:] Mm?
[Arthur:] I think I'll, I'll go after you've had your sweet anyway... cos otherwise... mm, once I've had my dinner... two... be about three o'clock before I can get in... to do this budget. So I'll go after you've had your pud.... I'll have a word with the doctor.
[John:] Pardon?
[Arthur:] I'll have a word with the doctor.
[John:] He's there now I think.
[Arthur:] Is it, now with the two nurses there? A physio by the looks of it.
[speaker003:] [singing] Time to go home... time to go home []. [LAUGHTER] Alright darling?
[John:] Yes.
[speaker003:] Alright. [talk in background]
[Arthur:] You could still be in Monday couldn't you?
[John:] Pardon?
[Arthur:] You could still be in Monday.
[John:] Could be, but I hope not.
[Arthur:] I know you are.... I don't think they'll send you out today.... I think the earliest you can go, be out now is tomorrow... at the earliest! Did they send you out on... people out Saturdays and Sundays?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] But this biopsy lab does it work through the weekend?
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] So i
[speaker003:] Tonight for sweet Ice cream... fruit... cocktail... jelly and ice cream or apple. I'll have jelly and ice cream. There's rice pudding.
[Arthur:] What are you going for?
[John:] Jelly and ice
[speaker003:] Ooh yes!
[John:] cream.
[Arthur:] Wow!
[speaker003:] Rice pudding... thank you.
[Arthur:] Bit of rice pud?
[speaker003:] Thank you.
[Arthur:] Jelly and ice cream.
[speaker003:] For you, what would you like?
[Arthur:] Do you get erm... do you get a balloon with it... jelly
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] and ice cream? And a cracker?
[John:] Mm, and a cracker.
[Arthur:] I mean a cra... Christmas cracker, you know jelly and ice cream, Christmas party. You can have cheese and biscuits. Oh Golly! What more do you want?
[John:] I want going home!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]... You'll enjoy it, what do you want?
[speaker003:] What would you like John?
[John:] Er, I'll have erm... yellow jelly... ice cream and a bit of.
[Arthur:] Yellow jelly.
[John:] That'll do for me.
[Arthur:] You ready.
[John:] What?
[speaker003:] What?
[Arthur:] You got another spoon? That looks good! Looks good aye, yeah! It's alright that.
[John:] You know at least the erm
[Arthur:] Should have had Paul here.
[John:] That's a good idea... these... these little... tubs.
[Arthur:] Mm. Why's that?
[John:] They're... it's a portion.
[Arthur:] Aye, yes. Guarantee the same portion every time.
[John:] That's roughage you see.
[Arthur:] That's your roughage.... Put ten ton of that stuff down you!... So they're orderlies are they that
[John:] I think so, yeah.
[Arthur:] So I reckon tonight you're gonna get mother and... Paula... round. Paula's a lot better... he slept... first time last night right through... without
[John:] Mm mm.
[Arthur:] getting up and coughing and wheezing and... all the rest of it and they actually slept very well last night. I think she down to five a day now... five today... is it?
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] What did she start on, was it nine or eight? Whatever it was. You know she's doing the count down... little red things she's got... that she swallows... she's down to five, I think it's five.... I think Tony's made up his mind for which he's, school he's... he's going to go to.
[John:] He's got written.
[Arthur:] But the, well we should have the forms in... completed today and... in the post today... but I think he'll go to Northgate.
[John:] Which one's that one? The one close to here?
[Arthur:] The one down the road here.
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] I was impressed with his... how he didn't... disregard one... you know
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] you know out of hand, he didn't do it
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] out of hand. He, he balanced... the strengths of one against another
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] and what I was a really impressed with... he, he balanced the, the human, what he felt were the human strengths of the school... what it felt like... you know, what the people were like in it... and erm... I think that's made his decision... more difficult... because he hasn't just gone on... the ec... the academic side of it... he looked at the, the all round... aspects of it.
[John:] Still and where wo where would get most, most support.
[Arthur:] That's it, and where is he likely to feel most comfortable.
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] You know, which one is... more like... him.
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] You know yo... you can be in the best place in the world but if yo if you don't fit in, if you don't feel right there... you're not going to flourish are you?
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] And once he makes this decision he... he can't... after a year or two say well no that was wrong, I won't... I'll er... I'll change now because he's only got two years... there. So he's, he's really got to get it right from the word go. But whether he will... I hope he chooses right for him. But it will be his decision.
[John:] Where he's going?
[Arthur:] Yeah. He says, you know, what do you think and I say well look... it's up to you... and I put the question back to him and say well what do you think? And that gets him talking then.... You've really enjoyed that haven't you? You've had jelly, ice cream and... and fruit, fruit... cocktail.... What's for tea, have you any idea? Wha have you chosen it?
[John:] Yeah, I've chosen pudding.
[Arthur:] You've got [LAUGHTER]... That's not bad. [LAUGHTER] Yeah []!
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Don't they have a wine list with your menu? [LAUGHTER]
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] So ideally when you come out is Sunday afternoon innit? Is it two o'clock?
[John:] I'm not bothered!
[Arthur:] Get you a wee dram!... Go and see this
[John:] He might go up there now.
[Arthur:] Just nurses now.
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] They could be on their dinner. Having their dinner.
[John:] thing about
[Arthur:] Well I'll find out. And I, I'll ask, if they don't, they don't know. I can but ask.... Enjoyable. What do you say? Do you want me to ask for you?
[John:] Okay.
[Arthur:] Yep, okay... I'll only be a minute.
[speaker003:] Are you being seen to?
[Arthur:] No, erm just Mr... is there any news about his... biopsy?
[speaker003:] No, but Mr did, did tell him this morning.
[Arthur:] Yes, just wondered if there's come
[speaker003:] No.
[Arthur:] through this morning.
[speaker003:] Haven't got
[Arthur:] Nothing at all?
[speaker003:] Yes, no, not yet.
[Arthur:] When is he likely to be... home then?
[speaker003:] Could be any time now, we're just waiting tha Mr... explained to him this morning, you know, why it, it ta takes so long
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[speaker003:] cos it's...
[Arthur:] It's, yeah explained that to me, just wondering
[speaker003:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] if there's any chance. Okay then, thanks a lot.
[speaker003:] Hopefully later on.
[Arthur:] Right thank you.
[speaker003:] I will come and you know, er let you know.
[Arthur:] Thank you.
[speaker003:] Did you get the, no?
[Arthur:] No news.
[John:] No news?
[Arthur:] Nope, no news... no. Hopefully today she said.
[John:] Right.
[Arthur:] Hopefully.
[John:] Yes.
[Arthur:] So when you're
[John:] And what is... what does hoping mean? Would that mean tomorrow or?
[Arthur:] Now, is hopefully, today.
[John:] Oh!
[Arthur:] Hopefully today, that's all she said. She said Mr explained everything that's all there was, you know there was nothing else.
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] And I said maybe you'd... had heard... between Mr
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] and... but no. Never mind!
[John:] Never mind!
[Arthur:] Never mind! I think it'll be... oh it's dinner time now they'll all be on their dinner, they'll all be on their lunch won't they?
[John:] Oh yeah, you can go and see... coming back about four o'clock.
[Arthur:] Mm, yeah. So the, the earliest you'll be home is tomorrow afternoon isn't it?
[John:] I would say, yeah.
[Arthur:] The earliest. If not it'll be Sunday. But if, if do if you don't get it through... this afternoon... it won't be Sunday will it?
[John:] It won't be Sunday, home
[Arthur:] Er
[John:] Monday.
[Arthur:] be Monday afternoon... Tuesday. Yeah. I think that's what it'll be. Anyway, better get off, okay?
[John:] Yes, thanks for coming.
[Arthur:] Yeah, and er... tonight... no idea? Most likely Paul and mother. Might get the lads, you might get a pack of cards again and a... did they leave you their cards?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Better give me a game... gonna thrash you... whenever... I could of thrashed at whatever!
[John:] Course you could of done!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] Can you bring in the, do you need the erm... big board?
[Arthur:] No, the crib board?
[John:] The crib board.
[Arthur:] Mind you, you could use a piece of paper and erm
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] what do you call it? A pen. Can't you? Do you wanna quick game? Give
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] you a quick game. You sure? Give you... a quick
[John:] I don't
[Arthur:] thrashing at... crib! First to sixty... on the back of there. Go on! Get your cards out. Ex expect to be thrashed!
[John:] Right now can we go and sit down?
[Arthur:] Coming down there? Right, ready?... I'm a demon at this!... Okay? Fives... two up a bit the volume is like on this way... you put that up, oh we where's the gear stick don't wanna get that... turning with the gear stick. You okay, right? Yep. It'll be okay.
[Paul:] Yep, well... Alright?
[Arthur:] That's oh ah... well this is the last visit.
[Paul:] Oh we'll be seeing him tomorrow.
[Arthur:] I mean at... to hospital.
[Paul:] Oh yeah. Oh won't we visit him in hospital tomorrow morning?
[Arthur:] [sighing] No, no []. We've gotta get over to the bungalow
[Paul:] Move his furniture.
[Arthur:] and rearrange the furniture in the bedroom... to the way he wants it.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] So that's gonna take a bit of
[Paul:] Lifting, yeah.
[Arthur:] lifting and... the best thing... the... to do is to do it when your... grandma's not there. Otherwise
[Paul:] not that grandpa.
[Arthur:] Well, I think what'll happen tomorrow is... one of two things, either... your mum... and grandpa... will go to the hospital... and pick grandpa up
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] oh, must find this seat belt... ca can't find it... won't go in... it's flashing at me saying I haven't got my seat belt, but I have... or... and we'll go off to... Southwold
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] and get the... bedroom sorted out.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] And we'll take with us... whether it'll be yourself... and me, or Tony and me or
[Paul:] All three of us.
[Arthur:] you sa the three of us... but... whoever it is... it'll be with Philip as well
[Paul:] Aha.
[Arthur:] so... and we'll go in the Metro.
[Paul:] Alright yeah.
[Arthur:] Yeah?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Your mum drives down... to Ipswich.
[Paul:] Leicester
[Arthur:] picks up the... picks up grandpa
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] and takes him from the hospital up to Southwold.
[Paul:] Where is sh... yeah.
[Arthur:] So... we we're there
[Paul:] With a bottle of wine.
[Arthur:] Can we just take that, take that spare cassette?
[Paul:] Yep.
[Arthur:] Otherwise it's gonna fly... all over the place! Keep hold of it. Erm, we're there we're sorting that out... the other thing is you see grandma will have to go shopping... tomorrow.
[Paul:] Oh yeah.... Take them out er
[Arthur:] So you'll ha she'll have to get this... her supplies in... her provisions.
[Paul:] Her milk, yeah.
[Arthur:] The milk and the milk and the milk.
[Paul:] And the other.
[Arthur:] Yeah. And then... o over to the bungalow, now she'll either do that... she'll do the shopping... before we go off to... the bungalow, maybe we'll pop down to Asda... and
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] and get it there... then go back... back home... swap cars, pick up the Metro... and drive over to... Southwold. If we do that we can only ta I can only take one other passenger along with your grandma and Philip... so that could mean... either yourself or Tony being at home
[Paul:] Oh
[Arthur:] staying at home oh yeah! or... going down into Ipswich with your mum... and coming up with grandpa.
[Paul:] Yeah. Has mum told Anne or... or hasn't she?
[Arthur:] Told who?
[Paul:] Anne.
[Arthur:] No, she's gonna phone Felic up in New Zealand
[Paul:] Oh flipping New Zealand!
[Arthur:] tonight... because ten o'clock tonight... here
[Paul:] Is ten o'clock...
[Arthur:] is New Zealand... in the morning.
[Paul:] I know, yeah.
[Arthur:] So if ten o'clock here is... at night, it's ten o'clock in New Zealand... excuse me!
[Paul:] Is that earlier or...
[Arthur:] In the morning. They're
[Paul:] So
[Arthur:] twelve hours in front of us... exactly aren't we? Ten
[Paul:] Really?
[Arthur:] ten o'clock, ten o'clock
[Paul:] Exactly! Oh!
[Arthur:] Ten o'clock at night, ten o'clock in the morning.
[Paul:] So Felicity's just waking up... oh! Lucky old thing!
[Arthur:] So Felicity now, well yes, they'll just be getting... getting up.
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] And... she's just getting up []!
[Arthur:] or opening her eyes.
[Paul:] Oh lucky old
[Arthur:] So
[Paul:] her!
[Arthur:] your mum's gonna phone... Felic
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] and she'll phone... Anne... she'll most likely phone... Joan... and the rest of them.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] To le... that the end is not nigh... he's gone... [sigh]... it's postponed
[Paul:] He's tricked us again, yeah.
[Arthur:] He's tricked us again. Stop
[Paul:] That
[Arthur:] playing with that!
[Paul:] Do you hear that? The champagne's going on top of him! [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] That Champagne's gro growing what?
[Paul:] It's gonna be poured over him!
[Arthur:] Poured over him?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] I don't think he'd appreciate that!
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Poured down him, yeah but not over him.... Christ I've been up and down this road... this week!
[Paul:] Get to this hospital with your eyes shut now!
[Arthur:] Not far off.... What a way to spend your holiday eh?
[Paul:] Oh it's a good end to the holiday.
[Arthur:] Oh yeah, couldn't of been a better end! This news is brilliant!
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] So he might get his wall built but he might have to wait a year... before he starts it.
[Paul:] We can give him a hand as well.
[Arthur:] Yeah but
[Paul:] Like mixing cement
[Arthur:] I don't think he'll be making it this year Paul.
[Paul:] No... it's just tha he won't be but he might be doing light jobs like say... putting, putting up pictures in about two months... er... er
[Arthur:] He was within a... a whisker of death! Do you, he was as close to death... if he hadn't have gone in... se to Ipswich... and seen... the specialist at the time he did... er
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] another day or two and that would have been it!
[Paul:] Really?
[Arthur:] He was as close to death as that!
[Paul:] He was in pain when he'd just got here.
[Arthur:] Yeah, his body would have just... couldn't have taken much more!
[Paul:] Yeah.... I mean he's made about fifty percent recovery in hospital hasn't he?
[Arthur:] Well when... when the doctor saw him... on... a fortnight ago... this Friday... today, a fortnight ago today... the doctor phoned the ward and said... have you got a bed... I've got a man here who's be... who is between myself and my curry... dinner time... and you could... be saving two people's lives... my life... cos he was so hungry
[Paul:] Mhm.
[Arthur:] and your grandpa's... cos he was so poorly. You know, when people pull out in front of you on the road
[Paul:] It's annoying.
[Arthur:] they... you brake
[Paul:] Why do they do that?
[Arthur:] I don't know why do it then and then drive slowly! If they're gonna drive so slowly why do they
[Paul:] He's even on the wrong side
[Arthur:] make these
[Paul:] of the road!
[Arthur:] crazy manoeuvres to... nip in front of you and then drive like a... snail!
[Paul:] I think we've got mum to thank as well for erm... convincing the doctor to send him into Southwold.
[Arthur:] Well I think when your mum went
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] to see the family G P... in Southwold... I think that got things moving... because I don't they would have done anything, they'd have just accepted that... this is the end, you know, he's gonna die in agony. And when... because the family doctor really know whe anything that was happening... but was holding on the phone... over the phone, oh... he's got a pain... you know. Those painkillers you've ar aren't good enough. Not, could you come out and have a look at the chap! I think you just... assume that... if you give somebody painkillers and they don't work, oh that's it! That's the end of the story.... Bye bye to this world!
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] They failed to realize... that you need... it's your own body
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] it's your own body and you... have got some say in what happens to it, or what doesn't happen to it.
[Paul:] Aha.
[Arthur:] And if you're not satisfied with what is happening... or not happening... you should say something... but grandma insists that she mustn't upset
[Paul:] People
[Arthur:] mustn't upset the doctors
[Paul:] Better to be ill.
[Arthur:] ooh if you upset the doctors when you're ill, when you're really ill... they won't let you into hospital! Tha... that's her attitude!
[Paul:] Seventeenth century.
[Arthur:] I don't know what century it is but it's... it's a crazy attitude!
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Don't, don't upset them, don't say anything, don't!... Well this thing about this car
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] it's been going on now for what? This new car
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] it's going on now for seven weeks
[Paul:] Put your foot down and say I want that car whe... if you don't, if you don't do it now
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] we'll just change company! If you said that maybe they'd get it the next day wouldn't they?
[Arthur:] Well I don't know whether they'd get it but... they don't want to upset people, the fact that... they've been... really inconvenienced by... not having it... doesn't seem to come into their thinking.... The only... people they don't want to upset... are the people at the garage... the fact that somebody isn't doing their job properly... somebody's... sitting on a form somewhere
[Paul:] Oh yeah.
[Arthur:] not making a decision
[Paul:] Like me.
[Arthur:] and they're allowed to get away with that... sort of... gently... what was it... his cosy middle job... could ta you know where you don't make a decision... where you... everything around you is nice and cosy here if... provided you don't make a decision... nothing will happen! And if nothing happens... it's even cosier! And so it goes on and on and until somebody... gives them a kick up the backside... they'll continue like that forever and ever... amen and a day!
[Paul:] Oh yeah. I, though remember erm
[Arthur:] And that's what your... grandma doesn't want to upset people like that
[Paul:] She won't
[Arthur:] in jobs
[Paul:] she won't complain in a restaurant
[Arthur:] in jobs like that.
[Paul:] will she?
[Arthur:] No!
[Paul:] And if... if the soup was cold... she'd complain after it... tell everyone how bad it was but she won't
[Arthur:] Well er... I thi maybe, maybe
[Paul:] well maybe that's why.
[Arthur:] that's typical of Britain!
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] We accept things.
[Paul:] We shouldn't.
[Arthur:] That's where the Americans score over us
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] they speak out, they're clear... what they want, what they don't want... mind you... they go over the top a little bit
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] at times. With the yahoos and the screams and the... what's happening over there?... See it? It's a breakdown I think.
[Paul:] [yawning] Oh []! Sunday.
[Arthur:] Oh we'll have a game of crib tonight.
[Paul:] I don't like crib!
[Arthur:] Well what do you fancy playing then?
[Paul:] We'd played Chase the Maker last night that was brilliant! I had three attempts at trying to clear... get all the hearts right, just keep.
[Arthur:] ... just lose.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Well he beat me at dinner at erm
[Paul:] Oh aye.
[Arthur:] at crib. We had a game of crib at dinner. What's happening here? What's happening?
[Paul:] Er
[Arthur:] Seven and half tons is it... weight limit?
[Paul:] Mm.
[Arthur:] Is this the new thing? They're trying to... relieve the... congestion on this Norwich Road
[Paul:] Trying to stop these things?
[Arthur:] by trying to stop, yes. Well they can't stop that one cos the bakery's here. They can't stop the lorries coming over to the bakery... cos the bakery's just on the road... can they?
[Paul:] Well they'll try. They'll have
[Arthur:] What do they do? Do they have a chain of people or a conveyer belt... going across the football fields?
[Paul:] No, they'll let everyone
[Arthur:] With bread on it!
[Paul:] They'll let everyone but the lorries.
[Arthur:] Everyone but them.
[Paul:] Or special... I mean lorries will have with them and sa and say oh yes you can go and use this road. You have to pay for half of the upkeep of the roads.
[Arthur:] I wish they'd put more of the stuff on to the
[Paul:] Why, why they didn't leave
[Arthur:] on to the rails.
[Paul:] that erm... other entrance open, I'll never know!
[Arthur:] The old Norwich Road entrance?
[Paul:] Yeah... why didn't they leave it open?
[Arthur:] Because you'd have got a queue of traffic here, you'd have had a terrible junction
[Paul:] Ah yeah!
[Arthur:] here.
[Paul:] You would of.
[Arthur:] Just back up there.
[Paul:] Oh, this car could do with a car wash as well couldn't it?
[Arthur:] We're not going into a car wash.
[Paul:] Oh!
[Arthur:] If you want
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] I'll give you a bucket
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] warm water, warm soapy water and a good sponge
[Paul:] Urgh!
[Arthur:] plenty of ho warm soapy water
[Paul:] I dunno you keep the doing car wash! [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] You can be the car wash.
[Paul:] I don't want to.
[Arthur:] You can be mister automatic himself.
[Paul:] That's a flipping joke though we cleaned everything! The
[Arthur:] Wisht! We didn't! You look at the back!
[Paul:] It cleaned everything but the erm... ro
[Arthur:] a
[Paul:] the round number plate... if it had... if it had gone round to there again it would have done it.
[Arthur:] It wasn't the number plate, is was the whole of the back there, it didn't really clean the back.
[Paul:] Oh yeah.
[Arthur:] There's a Christmas tree... there.
[Paul:] What?
[Arthur:] See it?
[Paul:] Yeah. Yeah, I saw one in
[Arthur:] The lights on that car... like a Christmas tree.
[Paul:] I saw one erm... I saw an actual Christmas tree up... in erm... you know... the library when you come out in the road to library onto... the main road?
[Arthur:] Which library?
[Paul:] In the... Ipswich library
[Arthur:] Yeah... which
[Paul:] on that road... the
[Arthur:] he
[Paul:] library road
[Arthur:] And you come out onto the main road?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] The one runs across the
[Paul:] the Crumpalls yeah.
[Arthur:] oh, Crumpalls Road, yes.
[Paul:] Bury Street, yeah.... Erm... there's a shop... erm... that's right up when you come out at the library... th on the... er, pelican crossing
[Arthur:] I know where you mean but I can't
[Paul:] Well there's a shop there's still got a Christmas
[Arthur:] I can't picture the shop.
[Paul:] tree in it.
[Arthur:] A shop did?
[Paul:] Yeah, still had a [LAUGHTER] Christmas tree in his window []!
[Arthur:] Ever tell you about the erm... a house Nottingham
[Paul:] No.
[Arthur:] When I... when I was learning to drive... it was oh, right at the August, September time
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] and this house... facing the... the part of Nottingham they call the forest... it's... it's not Nottingham Forest but it's... called the forest, it's where they have the goose fair... each year. And... it was one of a... a long row of... of Victorian... I suppose semi... er, semis or terraced, big houses, like these here... bit
[Paul:] Erm
[Arthur:] like those
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] okay? But I don't thi like these are detached or semi... it was more like that, that's it, like that there
[Paul:] Oh yeah.
[Arthur:] long rows, but they're semis as well aren't they? Anyway... it was the type of house you looked into it and you expected to see cobwebs... you know, sort of fustiness... sor
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] erm... as if a window had never been opened for years and years and years... that type of a house.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] It had the feel of it... this little garden you know, the doors, the paintwork everything about it... it gave you that feel.... [sighing] Ah []... home okay? And
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] erm... I was driving past it... learning to drive, concentrating like... mad... and the driving instructor... er, said to me, and it was only the second... what, second, third, fourth lesson, it was early on... in the
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] lesson he said to me... just look at Christmas in that house! And I'm concentrating on the road
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] and the traffic and it's Nottingham and it's a busy place... he said [LAUGHTER] look at that []! Like a fool I looked!
[Paul:] And what happened?
[Arthur:] Nothing happened, but
[Paul:] Oh yeah.
[Arthur:] I should never have looked and he should never really have said... just look at that, oh aye!
[Paul:] Feel right silly! [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Well... well for years after it
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] when I drove past that
[Paul:] Oh you used to
[Arthur:] I used to look in there... and there was the Christmas tree and the Christmas decorations... and they're always up right through the year... they never took them down!
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] So they're the first up with the Christmas tree decorations each year.
[Paul:] The last down.
[Arthur:] And the last
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] down.
[Paul:] [sighing] Oh []!
[Arthur:] Twenty to eight.
[Paul:] Did Tony tell you his purple knight joke?
[Arthur:] Yes! Yeah.
[Paul:] Indigo, red.
[Arthur:] What was indigo? Oh no, what the other one, the black knight? That's right.
[Paul:] The black knight, I told you
[Arthur:] Oh no.
[Paul:] I told you that in Spain
[Arthur:] No.
[Paul:] I think when we were... walking down... you know... in co... in Compesso
[Arthur:] Yep.
[Paul:] And walking along that erm... early one morning... erm... that the... they have a channel... those one way channels
[Arthur:] Oh the erm
[Paul:] Yeah,wha what are
[Arthur:] aqueducts.
[Paul:] those things? Aqueducts, yeah went over water.... Well it took me about er... ten minutes to tell it, it just took ages [LAUGHTER] and []
[Arthur:] And what was his reaction at the end of that?
[Paul:] Don't know
[Arthur:] Did he thump you?
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] he did... he got []! Black knight, black knight I was nearly at
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] What's he, black knight, black.
[Arthur:] Who does he know?
[Paul:] Daren't say that to him!
[Arthur:] Who is pipping for?
[Paul:] I dunno maybe his hor his horn is stuck!... [whistling]
[Arthur:] He had a bit of a cold this morning.
[Paul:] Oh did he?
[Arthur:] Yeah. His eyes were a bit watery, runny nose... I hope it doesn't start, if he gets home and starts with the flu... ha! [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] No,
[Arthur:] That's all he'll need! Poor chap!
[Paul:] I hope he doesn't because erm... the people on chemotherapy in that ward
[Arthur:] Mm.
[Paul:] if they get a cold, they'll be in trouble!
[Arthur:] That's right. They erm
[Paul:] They... they've gotta be erm
[Arthur:] Pretty healthy.
[Paul:] Yeah, we were talking to erm
[Arthur:] Yeah, try and keep it down, chemotherapy.
[Paul:] we were talking to Ted the other day
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paul:] and he says he
[Arthur:] Oh he's back?
[Paul:] yeah, he says the main ingredient for the chemotherapy... is periwinkle.
[Arthur:] What part of the periwinkle?
[Paul:] One of the main, that's one of... yeah... and it's poison!
[Arthur:] Which part of the periwinkle?
[Paul:] Dunno, I think it's the... er, the sort of thing, I'm not sure?
[Arthur:] The what?
[Paul:] I expect it's the petals and
[Arthur:] The petals?
[Paul:] I'm not sure.
[Arthur:] Really?
[Paul:] It's part of the flower.
[Arthur:] How much periwinkle have we got round our back door?
[Paul:] A lot.
[Arthur:] A lot! Are you
[Paul:] They've got
[Arthur:] periwinkle?
[Paul:] Yeah that's what he said.
[Arthur:] The flower periwinkle?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Not winkles the
[Paul:] No... the periwinkle.
[Arthur:] the mollusc?
[Paul:] That little tiny blue flower.... [sighing] Ah []!... bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
[Arthur:] We're doing well here!... Doesn't take us long in the evening.
[Paul:] Strange that isn't it?
[Arthur:] Traffic moves along... smoother.
[Paul:] Cor!
[Arthur:] There seems to be as much traffic
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] you see it always seems to re... move more smoothly in the evening.
[Paul:] It's a Friday tonight
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] It's Friday today so everyone's... sort of relaxed and good.
[Arthur:] Ready for the weekend.
[Paul:] Yeah. [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Maybe, maybe not.
[Paul:] Some of the people are lucky you've got half term now.... [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Half term skiing.
[Paul:] Yeah, a lot of people have... in our school do that... summer.
[Arthur:] Really? Have you got
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] plenty going?
[Paul:] Yeah. A and on the skiing trip, no fourth years allowed to go in that.
[Arthur:] Why's that? Let's, just a minute let get this
[Paul:] He's er
[Arthur:] got stopped here.
[Paul:] You've got the ma erm course... maths coursework... and it's gonna take place.
[Arthur:] Oh, and because it's going to gi... go in to your
[Paul:] Yeah then it'll coursework time
[Arthur:] coursework time?
[Paul:] Yeah. It'll be si... ski trip will be when we have our maths' coursework... so... the there was about ten fourth years going they're really... annoyed! [LAUGHTER]... But the thing is we're going to Edale when we've got our maths coursework.
[Arthur:] Right.
[Paul:] I want.... interesting. They'll let you do a... activity, this has been going for years but they won't let you.
[Arthur:] What, does everybody go... on the Edale visit as well?
[Paul:] There's about two people who don't usually.
[Arthur:] Well and maybe that's the reason why.
[Paul:] What?
[Arthur:] Because... you'll be going on two visits one to... to the skiing... and one... to the Edale
[Paul:] No, the reason why is cos it clashes with the coursework.
[Arthur:] But the time, the sessions... of your coursework you mean?
[Paul:] Yeah. Think so.... Oi, imagine living in one of those houses there you'd be woken up all night by ambulances sw... blaring away!
[Arthur:] I don't think they blare away as they come into the hospital.... They only they only put the sirens on erm... when they want to cle... clear a way through traffic.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] But if there's no need to... er, make a loud noise
[Paul:] Yeah but it gets them
[Arthur:] they don't
[Paul:] especially
[Arthur:] they don't put er... any sirens on. And if a patient's really ill... they try to keep it as smooth... and fast a ride as possible.
[Paul:] I think if i if they... they
[Arthur:] So they don't frighten them, you know, if you're lying there... you're having a heart attack or you just had one the last thing you want to hear... is sort of the... noise of the siren, the panicking noise of a siren.
[Paul:] [mimicking] Nee na nee na nee na nee na nee na na [].
[Arthur:] Well this is the last time this hospital we hope.
[Paul:] Oh yeah.
[Arthur:] Your mum'll do the rounds tomorrow the... the visits tomorrow... pick him up.
[Paul:] The packing.
[Arthur:] That packing and the picking and the
[Paul:] The, the
[Arthur:] portering, pick, pack, porter!
[Paul:] Bet he's looking forward to it as well isn't he?
[Arthur:] There's a little bit of alliteration for you. Eh? Pick, pack, porter! Have you taken your seat belt off?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] If we have an accident the insurance is null and void! Did you know that? No?
[Paul:] Yeah. Suppose so!
[Arthur:] What do you mean suppose so! It's true so
[Paul:] Shall I take this tape with me?
[Arthur:] Mm, yeah.
[Paul:] Oh!
[Arthur:] Oh no, let's put this off.... Lock it.... I'll turn this off now. It's halfway through
[Paul:] You're turning it on again.
[Arthur:] it's... got... put my on. Take it still no! [sighing] Oh []!... How you feeling then, okay?
[John:] Alright.
[Arthur:] How's your cold? Is it a bit better? Still a bit rough?
[John:] No, it
[Arthur:] Little bit
[John:] it's alright.
[Arthur:] a bit in the eyes a bit
[John:] A bit in the eyes, yeah.
[Arthur:] Yeah, you're a bit wet in the eyes.
[John:] you're alright.
[speaker003:] Seems to be brighter in here for some reason.
[John:] It what?
[speaker003:] It's brighter in here.
[John:] Brighter?
[speaker003:] It's
[John:] She hasn't three lights on tonight. And she hasn't got two, that means it's the first time I've seen those three lights on.
[Arthur:] Never noticed. Never noticed. Right so
[John:] So I've had some more of brandy in those.
[Arthur:] Ooh my God!
[John:] If
[Arthur:] You
[John:] I put the kettle we can do it.
[Arthur:] It didn't quite hit the fan... it didn't quite! [LAUGHTER] Aye, well... erm... Paula will be coming here I think... in the morning.
[John:] Ha, yeah!
[Arthur:] I'll be taking the... Metro... mum's. We'll do your bedroom for you... okay? Sort that out.
[John:] Why, has she got it all in hand has she?
[Arthur:] No.
[Paul:] No, not at all.
[Arthur:] But she says she hasn't. What she and she's done... right. So I'll do that... so in the i
[John:] I it doesn't really matter now.
[Arthur:] But if he'll get it done, he'll get it done the next... it's one less thing.
[John:] But I don't happen anyway.
[Arthur:] So they
[John:] When's she going to do it?
[Arthur:] Don't know yet.
[Paul:] We haven't
[Arthur:] I left them to sort things... like that out. She wants, she wanted me tonight... to do your packing for you.
[John:] Do my what?
[Arthur:] Your packing.
[John:] Packing
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] my clothes.
[Arthur:] Yes.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] I think she showed us how to do
[John:] [whispering] []
[Arthur:] No... she said... I'm not doing that. I said Paula can do that when she comes tomorrow.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Bring a bag with her. And there's no I'll come... I'll do it for him!
[John:] All I, all I want is a carrier bag.
[Arthur:] That's it.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] But she said no... I'd better come tomorrow with Paula as well. Paula said yeah, Paula said er... I think I could... I could..., you know.
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] But I'd nothing. So she's going to Southwold... to Philip... the Metro... and me. Now but Paula... Paul will come with us... or Tony... or whatever... Paul and Tony can come with Paula okay? I have a feeling you'll have one of these two, yeah.
[John:] Well the best thing to do... when they're to come here... I mean, they might be ready for coming here before you're off to er... Southwold.
[Arthur:] Well it's gonna take you longer, it's gonna take them longer
[John:] It is.
[Arthur:] to come here... pick
[John:] Yes.
[Arthur:] up your stuff
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] sort yourself out, say cheerio and the rest of it here
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] all on, all on here I suppose really, cheerio, cheerio and the rest
[John:] Actually, yeah.
[Arthur:] of it... and then get up the A twelve
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] so it's gonna take you
[John:] Time.
[Arthur:] it's gonna take longer, by the time... I leave Southwold
[John:] In other words you're you're leaving... you're both leaving together.
[Arthur:] If we leave about together. [whispering] Cos I don't think [].
[John:] You're leaving out together.
[Paul:] We'll, we'll get down at Southwold
[Arthur:] It takes us about forty minutes to get there
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] It'll take
[John:] It'll take about
[Arthur:] by the time we've had our third cup of tea yo you might be leaving here.
[John:] Oh yes, that's right.
[Arthur:] I dunno.
[John:] No, we should be leaving it... we... er
[Arthur:] It takes ha about twenty minutes, half an hour to get here.
[John:] Yeah, and you should get up... you should get home in twenty minutes
[speaker003:] [cough]
[John:] and er... than I do.
[Arthur:] No, it only takes me about forty minute, no hold on! Er forty min
[Paul:] Forty five minutes.
[Arthur:] Forty minutes plus five minutes.
[John:] Well it'll take twenty minutes to get here... and it'll take about... forty minutes to get the other way.
[Arthur:] Yeah. And you've got all the shenanigans of here. Well you got your pyjamas, you got your glasses, you got
[John:] I'll come and take
[Arthur:] Got your Polo, you got your
[John:] six o'clock in the morning they wake me up time!
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]... You, you
[Arthur:] Just be patient!
[John:] Be patient!
[Paul:] You?
[Arthur:] A mu and do as your told!
[John:] he said
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] he says, he says can we do it tonight? He looked at the clock
[Arthur:] Who said that?
[John:] The doctor.
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] He said would you like to get home, he said I'm sure you would?... well... no he said... as far as he was concerned he could leave us
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] and then it'll be till Tuesday he's already got some... even though they gotta be sent out to the firm...
[Arthur:] Mm.
[John:] whereas he's gotta he says just one round here... so they could make decisions for you....
[Arthur:] Mm.
[John:] And yes he says
[Arthur:] Oh Matt hasn't made his decision then?
[John:] Oh no!
[Arthur:] I told mother he had!
[John:] Oh well that's alright.
[Arthur:] She thought
[John:] Oh God!
[Arthur:] Well you... play along with that then... right?
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] Okay? The big... the big.
[John:] And when er... when er... when he finds out he'll then decide... when he wants to see me again
[Arthur:] Right.
[John:] as a... as an outpatient.
[Arthur:] How will you get here? Will they expect you to drive down? Or will it be by
[John:] Oh aye but to tell you some truth
[Arthur:] Oh! News about the car as well
[John:] Listen, did you tell Anne?
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] I was going to tell her you know... half with mother... and up, up there
[Arthur:] Today?
[John:] No,to to tomorrow, tenth of August.
[Arthur:] Mm.
[John:] Tell Paula to come in and get me here, get me here
[Arthur:] Mm.
[John:] drive me to your place... and she
[Arthur:] Mm.
[John:] and you
[Arthur:] No... you're not ready for that, you've sat in here for two weeks!
[John:] Mind you, just the majority of
[Arthur:] Yes. Takes it out of you.
[John:] I couldn't I say I couldn't eat.
[Arthur:] Oh you couldn't no... it's no good. Na no... couldn't of done that! News about the car!
[John:] Aye, good!
[Arthur:] He had a phone call back from the garage
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] today... second week in March.
[John:] Aye.
[Arthur:] Oh he went, he went to tell him he's got his.
[John:] You're saying I won't... that's right.
[Arthur:] Did I tell you earlier what I thi... what I think it is, is... these quotas, these monthly quotas
[John:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Well what you do is
[Arthur:] Philip says... oh yeah, here you go but he's, on Monday he's going to phone up the mobility people
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] yeah, but is that the D H S S?
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] Well is it separate
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] departments completely? And er, he's going to phone them up Monday... and see what's happening.
[John:] Well I think....
[Arthur:] It's
[John:] He's being too
[Arthur:] When did he... when did he choose the car?
[Paul:] He didn't say.
[Arthur:] But when he did say yes I'll have that one and so on and that
[John:] January.
[Arthur:] January? Early January or late January?
[John:] Middle.
[Arthur:] Middle of January, that's what I'm sa... that's two, six, eight weeks it's going to take!
[John:] That's rotten innit!
[Arthur:] Eight weeks.
[Paul:] Why? It's
[Arthur:] But is is that usual though, so they usually take... a form up for this mobility thing?
[John:] He can have that.
[Arthur:] Oh it don't look too bad, it's three out.
[Paul:] These rooms they only have a certain
[Arthur:] Because there's... I wish you'd shut up about you and your royalty!
[John:] Say what?
[Arthur:] Royalty! If it was royalty
[Paul:] Just because he might be royalty.
[Arthur:] If he was royalty he'd have it done in a day!
[Paul:] Yeah.
[John:] and do a good job!
[Arthur:] Royalty don't apply for!
[Paul:] I dunno, they just... because that's
[John:] [LAUGHTER] []!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]... Anyway... er, so that's what's happening there. Said about a fortnight... you might, you might have this new erm...... this new car.
[John:] I believe it when I see it!
[Arthur:] That's right!
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] What colour was it... that he chose?
[John:] Silver.
[Arthur:] Metallic silver is it?
[John:] It's only... metallic... silver, grey.
[Arthur:] Have you seen it boy?
[Paul:] Ah ah.
[Arthur:] No? Have you seen it?
[Paul:] No... but I know what colour, I've seen... I've seen Nissan Micras in that colour.
[Arthur:] Is it a dark metallic silver?
[John:] No, it's light metallic silver, it's whitey...
[Arthur:] Oh it's not like that
[John:] or something.
[Arthur:] it's not like that Paul's pointing to
[Paul:] Like that?
[Arthur:] is it?
[John:] No. No, no it's darker.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] [cough]
[Paul:] Anything like that there?
[Arthur:] Yeah, maybe....
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]... I can take the truth!
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paul:] As you can see it's starting
[John:] So she's flapping tonight... packing everything up?
[Arthur:] Yep.
[John:] Making a list of what's
[Arthur:] She won't sleep tonight.
[John:] she's making a list of she's
[Arthur:] First thing she said was... I'll have to get my
[Paul:] Some milk!
[Arthur:] How many?
[Paul:] Four pints of milk! I had to get four pints of milk, you know... oh honestly
[John:] But I wonder if she's going to write a list... and do her shopping.
[Paul:] We had
[Arthur:] Well
[Paul:] noticed!
[Arthur:] I think have somebody had er half... suggested it and then said oh no, that's a daft idea! She'd have taken it! She'd have followed the hunt and.
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Somebody had been shopping with her now. So it's... Paul... Paula's erm
[John:] How much?
[Arthur:] back there.
[John:] All she wants is a tease! What is she like... in some er
[Paul:] Some milk
[Arthur:] Bread.
[John:] Bread... and... got some sausages... bit of erm... boiled ham... which you can pick up on the way through
[Paul:] Yeah.
[John:] you can pick up that at the er....
[Arthur:] Well we had the ham... we've had that tonight... she's bought that.
[John:] When?
[Paul:] Has she?
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] When?
[Arthur:] The thing is, Paula said... I can't see what she really wants to shop for because... just before she came... to us... Paula took her up to Safeways... Safeways in... Carlton Colville... and she said she did an enormous shop
[John:] Yeah... don't bother shopping
[Arthur:] took it all took it
[Paul:] Have you... have you seen na nan pay for it?
[Arthur:] Yeah, yeah.
[Paul:] Have you seen them?
[John:] The there's not room in it!
[Arthur:] I know, well she's gonna fill that up again.
[John:] I'm going to... I'm going to put the... put another big sink out because that's
[Arthur:] And jus just, just for the shopping?
[John:] Sorry?
[Arthur:] Just for the four pints of milk each
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] week?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Or each... each weekend.
[John:] Yeah. Each weekend?... It's
[Arthur:] Well
[John:] every other day!
[Arthur:] It's every other day, four pints?
[John:] There's delivered from the milkman... I swa
[Arthur:] Per day?
[John:] a day
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] and then at least three, four pints... so we've
[Arthur:] Per week?
[John:] so we should see some milk shouldn't we?
[Arthur:] You're doing well then... keep them... your farmers happy!
[John:] When we went to Sue's it's all drunk
[Arthur:] That's fourteen, twenty six Eh, I've been there... I've been there and there and there's eight nine pints sitting around!
[John:] There's that, and there's never anything... really, only... the only thing is the milk puddings... see you get this pudding she makes....
[Arthur:] Yeah. She must have shares in Daisy!
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []! She's, she's... pi she'd buy her own.
[John:] No, the only the only, the only milk that gets turned out... is when she makes drinks, milky drinks... she puts too much in the pan... be be because she make them!
[Arthur:] Yeah... she put four pints in does she? [LAUGHTER]
[John:] [LAUGHTER] No []... she puts enough for four in
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] it isn't, there's hardly enough
[Arthur:] Yeah, this is it.
[John:] there's hardly enough for two in... and then she has to do another two... only, only she can't pour it in after it's.
[Arthur:] We we had a great thing tonight at tea didn't we? What did we
[John:] What?
[Arthur:] have... tonight, at tea? What was that?
[John:] Oh oh, yeah.
[Arthur:] No
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] on the table.
[Paul:] [whispering] Oh but [].
[Arthur:] Oh but the what?
[Paul:] Fin finished his meal.
[Arthur:] Everything!
[Paul:] Everything!
[Arthur:] It's the novelty.
[Paul:] Everything, he did yeah.
[Arthur:] And he pointed it out, this brother ooh look he's finished, he's eaten everything! And he'd left more... on his plate... and
[Paul:] Aye that's right.
[Arthur:] Philip had all these bits so... so Philip got all... got all the bits and... and eat them... and Paul got all his bits so we had six clean plates! thing, not a thing thrown away.
[John:] Right.
[Arthur:] How about that?
[John:] Why did you have?
[Arthur:] Ah! Chicken, ham and leek pie
[Paul:] With sweetcorn.
[Arthur:] sweetcorn, broccoli
[Paul:] Nice potatoes,.
[Arthur:] they looked, they're this
[John:] Scallop.
[Paul:] scallop
[Arthur:] scallop, yeah with the skin on.
[John:] Mm, fried... big chips!
[Arthur:] Erm... I think that was it.
[Paul:] Oh yeah.
[Arthur:] We had four
[Paul:] Oh no, it was in, in that, that roll!
[Arthur:] four or five scallops
[Paul:] That mi that chicken roll.
[Arthur:] and a chicken roll
[John:] perhaps she'd actually made these er... bread pudding.
[Arthur:] Oh well, after it No we had rice pudding after it, Tony had his ri... hates rice pudding, so had cold rice pudding!
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] I had that, it was lovely that, Paul had it hot. Never had... cold rice pudding.
[Paul:] I didn't think he'd like that!
[Arthur:] Lovely! It's really refreshing!
[Paul:] Oh it's disgusting!
[Arthur:] Beautiful!
[Paul:] It's like!
[Arthur:] Gorgeous!
[Paul:] ... looks like it [LAUGHTER] as well!
[Arthur:] Put some ketchup on, tomato ketchup, oh ho! [LAUGHTER]
[John:] [LAUGHTER] Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho []!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Stir it up, stir it up, oh oh []!
[John:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Better than jam!
[John:] Well it's one thing I mean it's right here haven't I?
[Arthur:] Oh, it's been different! [LAUGHTER]
[John:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] If nothing else it's been different!
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] Different start to the year.
[John:] It's start of the year int it?
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Only just!
[John:] Ah dear!
[Arthur:] You look tired again. You look full of a
[John:] I
[Arthur:] cold.
[John:] I haven't slept all day.
[Arthur:] All day?
[John:] No it's
[Arthur:] You're too excited!
[John:] Yeah, I want to get out, it's... yo you need to get out.
[Arthur:] Mm, gets into you.
[John:] Didn't get any, much sleep last night.
[Arthur:] You didn't?
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] I should of brought you a drop of the hard stuff then... ah, and got you
[John:] No, no.
[speaker003:] I think a bottle of.
[John:] Ah... just ask, just ask him for a drop of...
[speaker003:] [cough]
[Arthur:] He had a doctor in this morning?
[John:] He was sitting down then all of sudden... he had this bottle of scotch... [whispering] and he told bring some whisky down [].
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]... Oh God!
[John:] [cough] He... [cough]... I think he's.
[Arthur:] He's forty five or sixty five?
[Paul:] that's the last one, look, last one that's good.
[Arthur:] What about erm... these little... going away gift... do you want them... do you wanna get some choccies for them or
[John:] Yes. Just get a box of these ones.
[Arthur:] Yeah! Well you... Pa... Paula thought you know, if you come back when you're erm... what do you call it? Your outpatients visit
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] er it's... when you're gonna bring it then? It's up to you. If you said tonight, you know, what you want... to bring for them
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] or whether... you want to leave it until... as an out patient.
[Paul:] See if we can get it... tomorrow some time.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] or the.
[Arthur:] This one?
[John:] Yeah. Or maybe just ask the er... the chap with the arm round her.
[Arthur:] Could do,.
[John:] Right.
[Arthur:] Oh!
[speaker003:] I can smell food. I ain't spoke to John today, he's been asleep or else ignoring me!
[Arthur:] Oh he's been asleep, yes!
[John:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Right.
[John:] I told her.
[Paul:] You have to take that off don't you?
[John:] That'll come off with my milk.
[Arthur:] You take that back with you... a souvenir!
[Paul:] Get a hacksaw!
[John:] Off what?
[Paul:] Off that. Ooh... could do a bit swapping with some of those couldn't you? [LAUGHTER]
[John:] Yeah, it's all mixed up.
[Paul:] I think they'll know me by now.
[Arthur:] So what else has happened?
[John:] Erm... nothing much.
[Paul:] What's happened... today?
[Arthur:] Paula went into school this afternoon... well today.
[John:] Yeah. I know, her mother's been
[Arthur:] She's Yeah. had a cha... had a chat with Mary
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] Who, who's had a chat with Mary?
[Arthur:] Mother.
[John:] Oh her mother.
[Arthur:] Mary came back.... And er had a good talk... and erm
[John:] She might, mother will know... how much... mother's business nobody know, I don't patronize, I don't think any.
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] She just... she just feels, she doesn't think!
[Arthur:] And... that chap, you know the... chap that's doing the doors in Paula's... school?
[John:] Oh yeah.
[Arthur:] He was in today... they weren't ... Paula was just saying he was in there doing, doing the doors, whatever doing the doors meant you know... whether he's actually putting them on or he's ba... is he, is he just putting them straight into the existing
[John:] Yes.
[Arthur:] framework? Ah well he'll... he's not helped putting the doors in then. He was doing that. Got the budgie today. Whether sh..., oh my God! I thought we... we were bo we were go I thought we were gonna do better this year than last year cos we got more children but... it's like wo... working,.
[John:] It's the time, the time....
[Arthur:] Tight as a... duck's backside!... Where money is. Yeah.
[John:] You've got to talk about something intellectual for a change! [LAUGHTER] Fifteen
[Paul:] Let's talk about
[John:] nearly quarter past.
[Arthur:] bang! Bang! Cos he'll be self-employed.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Course, that's the only way he can get
[John:] I suppose the only... the balance to that is to say
[Arthur:] And you have
[John:] how many new firms wo... who started in seventy nine and how many new firms have started in... nineteen ninety?
[Arthur:] With all this... with all...... his persons... and the self same
[John:] Well that's collared it. Yeah.
[Arthur:] It is as opposed to quality.
[John:] What, new starts... new starts
[Arthur:] Yeah... yeah
[John:] he's willing to start
[Arthur:] and er
[John:] whether it's a firm or an individual.
[Arthur:] I mean... I can see... a typical lot of people... at a time...
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] you know, I mean... if... if you were self-employed like that... if you don't keep up the standard... and
[John:] Oh yes!
[Arthur:] you're on
[John:] That's it!
[Arthur:] keep your standard
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] and you soon get in arrears you know!
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] I mean I used to have a good go at... keeping up your standard in my... but er
[John:] Just making su
[Arthur:] have to keep it up.
[John:] Yes.
[Arthur:] And you had to keep up with their er... thinking tactics.
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] And er... I was pe... I was paying... I was still paying... er... five years after I'd finished!
[John:] What for
[Arthur:] And I mean
[John:] everybody?
[speaker003:] [cough]
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[John:] For yourself or for all the others?
[Arthur:] Mm mm... should of tried to... you know, my collective one
[John:] Bu
[Arthur:] for the last forty years.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] and either pay it all in one... I asked if I could pay it... do so much, you know... so much a year
[John:] And they allowed did they?
[Arthur:] years, yeah. Well the... income tax is fairly easy... it's the VAT that you've got to watch... they're
[John:] Ah.
[Arthur:] the ones, the va VAT!
[John:] Her Majesty's Customs and Excise and
[Arthur:] Yeah... VAT people.
[John:] Apparently they've got more power than... most... organizations or, you know
[Arthur:] Yeah?
[John:] Yeah! The VAT. I always thought it was the income tax but no.
[Arthur:] No! The income tax
[John:] The VAT and about... they come and get it... wherever they want.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] And they can go through your books like that!
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] And walk in... and expect to see them all in order.
[Arthur:] Mm.
[John:] Right, any more there?
[Arthur:] And if you're not
[John:] And if they
[Arthur:] and you
[John:] if, if they get you on erm
[Arthur:] and they don't... they don't bet it's a than they are.
[John:] Sorry? But it's just VAT, it's a, just a tax return to them isn't it, VAT? Whether you've got accountants doing it or not. Do you like his curly hair father?
[Paul:] I dunno.
[John:] Innit smart?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[John:] He's real smart!
[Arthur:] Yeah it's nice.
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] I'm glad someone does []!
[Arthur:] Very smart.
[John:] [sighing] Ha []!
[Arthur:] I'm gonna sleep tonight.
[John:] You think you will do you?
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] Want us to go now?
[Arthur:] No, you're alright.
[John:] Are you sure? If you wanna get
[Paul:] You can tell us to go if you want.
[John:] but you must do.
[Arthur:] Can you get a box tonight?
[Paul:] Yeah, I'll find some
[John:] I, I've got one at home I think... somewhere... I'll have a look.
[Arthur:] Yeah but not to... not to...... cos you
[John:] No no not a Glenfiddich?
[Arthur:] No, it's only wine that I want.
[John:] Well I'll get a bottle of wine in as well. Okay?
[Arthur:] No, just a glass.
[Paul:] You need a glass.
[John:] No, well one for the nurses... okay?
[Arthur:] And, and
[John:] And wo a wo and one for the erm... alcohol one.
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] I mean we can wait but they won't mind which is which.
[John:] Yeah... I'll ask which one it is.
[Arthur:] And then I'll keep the other one.
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] Course []!
[John:] Did you finish your crossword after?
[Paul:] No, I ju I just had a look at that I couldn't do anything.
[John:] You haven't done any more! Oh you have, you have!
[Paul:] It's difficult that is!
[John:] You have.
[Paul:] It's difficult.
[John:] Twenty one across... [reading] they'll make you livid []
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] something... I N G S... oh no, it's not I N G S... it's
[Paul:] Twenty two across... try that... cos we got half of that. [reading] Wat waterways, US [].
[Arthur:] This gets in the way.
[Paul:] I know. That happened
[Arthur:] Well why don't you get a top and trim?
[Paul:] [whispering] []. It's just erm
[John:] his trip
[Paul:] happened a few days ago
[John:] this was
[Paul:] I caught it on a door handle
[John:] managed
[Paul:] and carried on walking!
[John:] [reading] Sort of green sort []?
[Arthur:] It's gonna be more now! Yeah.
[John:] ... [reading] Sort of green sort []... can't get that one. Right... don't know if these are ready but... fifteen across... [reading] prints it []... phonetic... no, it doesn't go.
[Arthur:] Anyway, you're best not to do it
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] because er... you'll have to get mother settled
[John:] No, we'll be, oh God!
[Arthur:] But you're having
[speaker003:] [cough]
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] well... I know you've been good.
[Paul:] Yeah.... I'll have my own bed tomorrow. Last night I slept on the floor.
[John:] Poor lad having to sleep on the floor!
[Arthur:] Mm.
[John:] You know, he's so uncomfortable he's up at the crack of the dawn because that floor is really getting into him! The crack of dawn, half past ten crack of dawn!
[Arthur:] Which floor are you sleeping on?
[Paul:] The little sitting room but I can't stand that! It creaks
[Arthur:] That
[Paul:] and it's really rough!
[Arthur:] You're stupid you are!
[Paul:] So I just sleep on the floor.
[Arthur:] You're stupid!
[Paul:] Well I'm not, well I know I shouldn't.
[John:] Good looking... so refined!
[Arthur:] Then there's Paul! [LAUGHTER]
[John:] Got it! Got it, got it, got it!
[speaker003:] Alright young man? Hello there
[Paul:] Hello.
[speaker003:] Alright?
[Paul:] Fine thanks.
[John:] Six down, [reading] good looking... kip... so refined []... ride a bicycle beginning with p?
[Arthur:] A what?
[John:] Ride a bicycle beginning
[Paul:] Pedal.
[John:] with
[Arthur:] Pedal.
[John:] Pedal. Well done Paul!
[Paul:] What have you wrote.
[John:] Cycler or [LAUGHTER] cycle []! Pedal. Then, that's a D... twenty three across [reading] lowest point []... Nnadir... isn't it? Nadir, [spelling] N A D I R [].
[Paul:] It's a madder. [LAUGHTER]
[John:] It is. Technical drawings... ooh you should know that
[Paul:] Sketch.
[John:] one father! Technical drawings with ten letters, second one is an L? Ten
[Arthur:] Not plan? It's
[John:] Ooh no! Te ten letters.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Sketch, no N.
[Arthur:] Te technical drawing? I can't think of that!
[John:] Yeah, it says, technical drawings.
[Arthur:] Ooh no!
[John:] Do you know?
[Arthur:] It won't come to me.
[John:] But there is a word?
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] It'll come when you're not thinking of it.
[Arthur:] I can see it.... I can see the cabinet
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] you keep them in... you don't say technical drawing cabinets... you say
[John:] Tech drawing.
[Paul:] What that's?
[John:] Pull... slow pull
[Paul:] Da ee der
[John:] Mm. [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] That and that, yeah.... Da...
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Says something to her face []!
[John:] [LAUGHTER] Mm mm []!
[Paul:] Oh!... What's that, who wears?
[John:] [reading] Protective wear []?
[Paul:] Helmet! A
[John:] Could be, but protective wear
[Arthur:] A helmet.
[John:] It
[Paul:] Yeah.
[John:] just says protective wear.
[Paul:] Try and get that one.
[Arthur:] Well that's a helmet!
[Paul:] Try and get
[John:] Co could be anything! Could be gloves!
[Paul:] try and get twenty acro twenty across.
[Arthur:] Yeah, well this... this is the name.
[Paul:] [reading] Fluctuate [].
[John:] I thought that was veer but... doesn't really make sense does it... but you can fit it in... there's now, what do you say? Twenty four across... [reading] perform a surgery []
[Arthur:] Ooh.
[John:] now if helmet is right M is the first letter of perform surgery. I thought it'd be snicker-snack!
[Arthur:] That would be operate.
[John:] Right... it's operate
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] helmet is wrong.
[Paul:] Overa... overall!
[John:] The, no!
[Paul:] Over or no, overalls
[John:] Pro protective wear... er... what do you call it? Those
[Paul:] Armour
[Arthur:] Gauntlet.
[John:] Gauntlet
[Paul:] Armour!
[John:] no.
[Paul:] Armour! [spelling] A M O U R [].
[John:] [spelling] A R M... O U R [], protective wear, armour. That's it!
[Paul:] Ah!
[John:] Mm mm. It's made a mess of everything!
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] Most likely alter that one again!
[Paul:] Er er urgh! [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Er
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] []!
[John:] letter
[Arthur:] Near enough.
[John:] [reading] Stitched []... sewn
[Paul:] Oh aye that's
[John:] Mm.
[Paul:] sixteen.
[John:] [reading] Menaces []?
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] We're nearly there you know, we're nearly there!
[Paul:] Menaces?
[John:] Only a couple to get.
[Arthur:] Well where's... well where's erm... where's this... testicle drawing?
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] [LAUGHTER] Testicle drawing []!... Oh you, now you've got a few letters in there... L... that's an
[Arthur:] I think
[John:] L... A R and L.
[Paul:] Ten....
[John:] That's a R A N C E.
[Arthur:] That's if
[John:] is that an L? It's an L?
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] Is it R A N C E, a R A N C E... looks like a R A N C E, R A N C E.
[Paul:] So that's why it's fun actually doing the clues as we are.
[John:] What?
[Paul:] A lot better than... than on your own.
[John:] What?
[Paul:] Crosswords are. Seem easy but
[Arthur:] Well that's... I N G S... rings... erm
[John:] Are you sure?
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] It's plural you see.
[Paul:] Ah yeah.
[John:] Might help you with sixteen down now.
[Paul:] Te... tele-rings.... Tele-rings.
[John:] Clearings, no. Cle cla cli
[Arthur:] Mm.
[John:] Mm,. Ah! Sixteen down
[Paul:] Ah, he's stuck!
[John:] [reading] Menaces []... menaces?
[Paul:] Paul.
[John:] Menaces... Dennis's... Dennis's the menaces!
[Paul:] Annoying erm
[John:] [reading] Onerous []?
[Paul:] Ah thank you very much.
[Arthur:] Eat them up ca take the box.
[Paul:] What, you're gonna start getting rid of everything are you?
[John:] Yes.
[Paul:] You don't have sweets like, just eat your supply.
[John:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Don't wanna take them back with you?
[Paul:] No I'll... take them back tomorrow.
[John:] Cravats.
[Paul:] Type.
[John:] [reading] Small particle []?
[Paul:] Atom.
[Arthur:] Atom.
[John:] Yes.
[Paul:] Ah, wrong! A particle? Yes, yes, yeah alright.
[John:] Er
[Arthur:] Do you want a er
[Paul:] Mint.
[John:] Oh yes, we'll have one of those... a fruit pastille.
[Arthur:] Take a few with you.
[John:] Pass them round, fruit pastilles. Years since I've had one of these.
[Arthur:] Have a mix.
[John:] No... mm... no,.
[Paul:] Doesn't cravat have an E at the end?
[John:] No.... Have you written to everybody you wanted to write to?
[Arthur:] No. Written one!
[John:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] Has it been posted?
[Arthur:] I'm lying here
[John:] Ha!
[Arthur:] I haven't
[John:] John
[Arthur:] he wants to talk with me.
[John:] The answer's wrong.
[Paul:] Is it over there?
[Arthur:] Put those in the
[Paul:] Anything else? are you sure?
[Arthur:] You can take those with you
[Paul:] Every single one? Ah no, but then
[Arthur:] last night
[Paul:] to jump out the bed to find out.
[Arthur:] I can't, I can't see if.
[Paul:] Especially at the toilet... light. It's interesting!
[Arthur:] What?
[Paul:] When you chu push the light on it goes darker.
[John:] Well don't do that because it'll... wear the
[Paul:] Exactly!
[John:] battery out!
[Arthur:] Yeah, but that light's not for the light.
[Paul:] That's what it's for. It's like that... it's in the dark so when you push that but there aren't many batteries left so
[Arthur:] What you gotta do is... like that.
[Paul:] That
[Arthur:] Eh?
[Paul:] light push... push that at night then Yep. But it's erm... er the light just takes away the inner tube... and the batteries... Tony said he was a manager so he got that as a freebie... so... is that it?
[Arthur:] Where did you get that from?
[Paul:] Out of the... day room.
[Arthur:] Well take it back.
[speaker003:] Cheerio dear! Goodnight Brian Thanks. Goodnight
[John:] Well I
[speaker003:] John!
[John:] shan't see you again.
[speaker003:] Oh! Where you going?
[John:] I'm going.
[speaker003:] Are you, going home? Oh bless your heart that's great!
[John:] I'm going tonight.
[speaker003:] So just behave yourself when you get home!
[John:] Yeah.
[speaker003:] Yeah, right.
[John:] Well they can't do any... they can't do anything for me I'm an I'm an awkward sod!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker003:] Oh are you I, I gathered that! [LAUGHTER] No I didn't mean that, I'm only joking []!
[John:] , yeah.
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker003:] Bye bye, see you tomorrow. Bye! Bye! Right... would you like a? Yes please. Just one please? Just one? Yes please.
[Arthur:] Got a pair of socks? Got a pair of socks.
[John:] Yes, I've got a pair of socks.
[Arthur:] Underwear?
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] You've no underwear?
[John:] I'm waiting for Terry... come down
[Arthur:] Ah! Right.
[speaker003:] Tea please? Do you take sugar? Please, yeah... no not too sweet. Just wondering how long it'll take you to read that paper Brian Eh? I was just wondering how long you're gonna take to read that paper. Oh! You sort of read a couple of bits then doze off and then! [LAUGHTER] Eh, yesterday. [LAUGHTER] I know []! [LAUGHTER] I'll read a bit. I tell you the learners. Int you Brian, you enjoy guessing it all? That's right, yeah. That's his story and he's sticking to it anyway! Yeah.
[John:] I think I'll try one of those tonight malted mi milk.
[speaker003:] Yeah certainly... any sugar?
[John:] See if it'll make me.
[speaker003:] How many, one, two?
[John:] One, no, one and a half... I'll be awkward!
[speaker003:] One and half.
[John:] Just cussed!
[speaker003:] He's awkward isn't he? I dunno really, I ain't saying nothing! I'm not saying nothing! One and a half sugar.
[John:] One and a half yeah. That's only a half a one to start with! That'll do!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker003:] hello.
[John:] Hey?
[speaker003:] and buy something.
[John:] Yes... not to worry.
[Paul:] Did you say you have to have
[Arthur:] So what's that... for... what tablets have you got to have?
[John:] I don't know.
[Arthur:] No.
[John:] No idea.
[speaker003:] Alright?
[John:] Thanks a lot.
[speaker003:] That's a bit hot you know, okay?
[John:] Oh
[speaker003:] Don't want you to burn yourself.
[John:] No... we want you... we want you to.
[Arthur:] Seen what's on the cup... on the mug?
[John:] The... other way up.
[Arthur:] Rear right.
[Paul:] Oh yes! I went to the... making sure they move us around one square.
[Arthur:] So there's nothing you want tomorrow other than your... the bottles?
[John:] That's not drawings is it, just drawing?
[Arthur:] No, it's a, an R in it, it's about... drawings.
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] No, it's an L... like the letters.
[Paul:] Well change that L.
[Arthur:] That's right.
[Paul:] What's the L
[John:] Nobody's gonna look at it anyway!
[Arthur:] [whispering] Number sixteen is something like gleam rings or... no []? Plead means... a... place... rings... R A N C E what about R A N C E at the end? No space.
[John:] No spaces, no.
[Arthur:] Something R A N C E... like tolerance... see
[John:] ... is a
[Arthur:] Mhm. What on earth's up? Pamphlet... there's only two letters missing out of pamphlet, two out of out of five... we've got three... first one, the middle one, the last one.
[Paul:] I reckon that's tart... where is it?
[Arthur:] Which one?
[Paul:] T A R T.
[Arthur:] T, what about that letter?
[Paul:] A R
[Arthur:] Oh no, can't be that.
[Paul:] We'll have to make a word
[Arthur:] Pamphlet.
[Paul:] up there.
[Arthur:] Pamphlet.
[Paul:] Make a word up... erm... T, oh no that's difficult without a T.
[Arthur:] Mm.
[Paul:] The T's us... usually followed by a vowel.
[Arthur:] Mm. T E
[Paul:] T and that.
[Arthur:] T and... taste... taught You must capitulate the word so yeah, surrender's right.
[Paul:] Where's it say...?
[Arthur:] Trying to capitulate....
[Paul:] Well if I only wanted to know the crossword and every single one is
[Arthur:] What time do you want her in the morning? If you name a time... just so as
[John:] As soon as you can... troops together.
[Paul:] Okay.
[Arthur:] Now that doesn't mean... eight
[John:] Eight
[Arthur:] o'clock does it?
[John:] No, any
[Arthur:] No.
[John:] time after ten o'clock.
[Arthur:] Any time after ten.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Right... did you hear that Paul?
[Paul:] Sure.
[Arthur:] Any time after
[John:] [cough]
[Arthur:] to ten.
[Paul:] Oh.
[Arthur:] So she leaves about ten... she'll be here some time after ten won't she?
[John:] That'll mean that gives you plenty of time to get up and get moving
[Paul:] And it won't take long
[John:] the
[Paul:] to move those wardrobes, only about... twenty minutes.
[Arthur:] Oh it'll take us a couple of minutes! It won't take twenty minutes!
[Paul:] How many wardrobes are there?
[John:] Two.
[Paul:] Two?
[John:] Yeah. And I say if you get on your hands and knees
[Arthur:] Get behind them... and push them.
[John:] and just pull and push... on the bottom
[Paul:] Mm.
[Arthur:] Well what I was gonna do is just sort of
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] nudge them round.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[John:] One person one end and one... the other at the other end... one in the middle... and then
[Arthur:] Ar are they joined together?
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] They're separate?
[John:] Mm.
[Arthur:] Well that's a doddle that!
[Paul:] No probs!
[Arthur:] Easy!
[Paul:] Do you want the er... re re-wiring?
[Arthur:] And you're not bothered if we go in front of the light switch
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] at all? You hear that?
[John:] Mm... and I'm pretty sure... I'm pretty sure there's, that there's a... electric light... points behind.
[Arthur:] Sockets on the wall?
[John:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] And you want your... bed head... so it loo looks towards Philip's room?
[John:] Yeah.
[Paul:] So you can see the lighthouse?
[John:] Well there's no difference... top and bottom of that bed I don't think.
[Arthur:] Int there?
[Paul:] Oh.
[Arthur:] You have it either way?
[John:] Yeah, I think you can.
[Paul:] But you will be able to watch the lighthouse.
[Arthur:] Is there any
[John:] Yes,
[Arthur:] Is the is there anything else you want in there?
[John:] No.
[Paul:] You don't want Christmas decorations or anything?
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] And television... brought in?
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] Television.
[speaker003:] you know... portable television.
[John:] I usually have with television.
[Arthur:] Could lo could loan you our portable couldn't we?
[John:] Oh yes, if you could.
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] We've not used it yet []!
[John:] I thought you had.
[Arthur:] Well... but
[Paul:] I have.
[Arthur:] they have... it was on one night.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] You get up in the morning and it's erm... what do you call it? It's a radio... put the radio on.
[Paul:] Should be able to set the telly shouldn't you? You'd be able to get those timer switches on the.
[Arthur:] Yeah. I'm not so addicted to a television as to need that, oh... far from it.
[John:] Aye yeah, not bad!
[Paul:] Maybe you'll just want it
[Arthur:] What's that then?
[John:] Pardon?
[Arthur:] What is it?
[John:] Malted er
[Arthur:] Malted milk?
[John:] Yeah... the
[Arthur:] Horlicks.
[John:] Ovaltine.
[Arthur:] Horlicks. I thought you were gonna be an Ovaltiney again!
[John:] No.
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] No, course not.... Here... in the morning te tell, tell Paula to bring a couple of... a couple of carrier bags and that's all I'll need.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] That's all she was gonna do, that's all she was
[Paul:] Yeah, she was.
[Arthur:] gonna bring.
[John:] That's, that's.
[Arthur:] Right. Haven't got a jacket have you?
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] Mind you, the car will be warm.
[John:] I couldn't.
[Arthur:] The car will be warm
[John:] ... if she parks down in the door... and he comes up
[Paul:] Yeah.
[John:] Right? She'll be so parked down there
[Paul:] Right.
[Arthur:] I think she'll want to come up.
[Paul:] Oh no, she'll wanna come up and say goodbye.
[Arthur:] So you want... we want... whisky
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] Don't make a note of that.
[Arthur:] one
[John:] No, you don't, just the one o one will do.
[Arthur:] No, no whisky, one
[John:] No buy a
[Arthur:] erm
[Paul:] It's like a hotel isn't it?
[Arthur:] What else for you was it?
[John:] Two, two empty carrier bags.
[Paul:] Any preferred sign or name... size?
[John:] Yes.
[Paul:] Asda?
[John:] An empty carrier, the Gateway and the er
[Paul:] Gateway and Asda.
[John:] and the er Asda one.
[Arthur:] Do you want left handed ones or right handed ones?
[Paul:] Well it's
[John:] It's a good job the nurses there can listen....
[Arthur:] She's nice she is. Whisky, wine
[speaker003:] I'm just gonna put you a new bag on cos that one's... has leaked.
[Arthur:] Whisky, wine, carriers... what else? Erm... [sighing] I dunno []! Is there anything else?
[John:] No.
[Paul:] You don't want any
[Arthur:] Socks?
[John:] Ah, better bring in socks.
[Arthur:] Right. You've got your erm
[John:] And I mean
[Arthur:] bedroom slippers?
[John:] Got bedroom slippers so
[Paul:] Do you wanna put shoes on?
[Arthur:] No!
[John:] I got a pair of shoes here.
[Arthur:] You've got a pair of shoes here have you?
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] No, you don't need them.
[John:] When I came the ambulance you see.
[Arthur:] Ah yeah. So... we get your... you got your you got them... you don't need underwear... you got your shirt, you've got a pullover, you've got trousers
[John:] I it's, it's... my shirt
[Arthur:] trousers... so that's it then!
[John:] Yeah, they're my trousers.
[Arthur:] Oh I don't need that, I thought we were gonna have a long, a long list.... Whisky, wine.
[John:] Needn't... something to do with... lovely.
[Arthur:] Keep you warm.
[John:] If nothing else it keeps me warm.... It looks like you've got some... bla some, some stuff here for you.
[Arthur:] What's that? All that stuff I brought... bring that back with you.
[John:] Bring what... ah?
[Arthur:] Bring that back with you there.
[Paul:] Shall we take it back now?
[Arthur:] How many bottles are there? No, won't take it now we'll take it tomorrow. You might be grateful of that.... What have you, tins as well?
[John:] One, two, three, four, five, six, seven
[Arthur:] Seven tins... and three bottles
[John:] six. Fetch another carrier bag.
[Paul:] Shall we take them back now?
[Arthur:] No. Three, three carrier bags then. Oh, what am I doing! Three carriers, whisky and wine... right, got it!
[John:] You can ta take that back... in this bag.
[Arthur:] Nah! No.
[John:] Can I take it....
[Arthur:] Fill them up. What a thought! He had an accident in bed, yeah.
[John:] Oh
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Because []
[John:] That's a more evil thought still!
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Oh that's a.
[Arthur:] So there's nothing else is there?
[John:] No. What a man!
[Arthur:] Done very well!
[John:] It doesn't taste bad this. Try it?
[Arthur:] Na no thanks. I can't taste anything again today it's gone.
[Paul:] Oh!
[Arthur:] Smells gone and ev can you smell it? Does it smell? Can you smell anything?
[John:] Taste it.
[Paul:] Oh that's erm... malt.
[Arthur:] There's something there.
[Paul:] No, I don't like
[John:] Just taste it.
[Paul:] that much!
[Arthur:] No thanks dad.
[Paul:] I don't like that.
[Arthur:] No, I don't like that! I don't like that! I don't like that!
[Paul:] Don't like hot milk?
[Arthur:] You don't like hot milk?
[Paul:] No.
[John:] That's... that's how you....
[Paul:] Must have been an Ovaltiney!
[Arthur:] An Ovaltiney!
[Paul:] He, he mixed it with hot milk?
[Arthur:] Ha... does you good! It's good for you!
[John:] See... at least once during the day... you have a... milky coffee... and that's a pint of milk....
[Arthur:] Mm.
[John:] And then cereals in the morning, that's another pint.
[Arthur:] You see.
[John:] That's the two pints gone.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] That's why the necessity for a full pint.
[Arthur:] That's why you end up with nine pints is it?
[Paul:] Why don't you just get another two pints, why not have three
[John:] Ah
[Paul:] pints a day?
[John:] because... she about three pints, the pints a day... the third pint cost you thirty five P... and right, a four-pinter cost you a pound and two pence... a pound and two pence, now work that out.
[Arthur:] Twenty seven P. Twenty seven and a half P.
[Paul:] Mm.
[Arthur:] You save seven and a half P a pint.
[Paul:] You save seven [LAUGHTER] and a half P a pint []! That's not bad!
[Arthur:] Four pints you save thirty P, you see you've nearly the cost of your
[John:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Yeah,
[Arthur:] your third pint.
[Paul:] Yeah but then... that's taking
[Arthur:] You see yo
[Paul:] in petrol... by going to the shops
[Arthur:] That's right.
[Paul:] and time
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] Er, you like the milkman... the milkman... I mean... absolutely stupid I thought... because... he kept putting milk up... it was thirty P when we went there first
[Arthur:] Mm, yeah... and now it's thirty five.
[John:] now it's thirty five or thirty six... I mean they put it up for the er... crisis
[Arthur:] Do you know di
[John:] it didn't come down again it, it went up tuppence for the crisis.
[Arthur:] What crisis?
[John:] There were a crisis!
[Arthur:] Which crisis?
[John:] The oil crisis.
[Arthur:] We haven't had an oil crisis!
[John:] We have! When the we
[Arthur:] Have we?
[John:] when the Gulf war was on.
[Arthur:] There wasn't an oil crisis!
[John:] Yeah there was. It's a heck of a it's, it's thirty four pence a gallon it was.
[Arthur:] It wasn't a crisis!
[John:] ... in fact it costs
[Arthur:] The oil excuse!
[John:] and they're laughing at
[Arthur:] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah!
[John:] What they... what they should do... the, the milk... I'd say... your first pint cost you twenty six... thirty six
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] all other pints will cost you thirty.
[Arthur:] Mm. Did you know... that the... people who sell the milk, the dairies that sell a bring it round to you... did you know, not many people know this! Did you know
[John:] Did you know... it's about twenty P.
[Arthur:] No. That they are allowed to sell it to shops... to shops cheaper than they are allowed to sell it to you.
[John:] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[Arthur:] There's a minimum charge they can sell it to yo... individual customers
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] but they can sell it to shops, a crate of it to shops cheaper... than... than they can sell it... so that means
[John:] And then the shops, the shop
[Arthur:] bu
[John:] the shop sells it the same price as the
[Arthur:] No, no the shop could use it then as a as a loss leader... he could make say, a penny on it an ge so if he buys it at, you're buying what, thirty five? I think they can buy it at twenty eight.
[John:] Right.
[Arthur:] So if he sells it thirty, just, he won't even cover his overheads on that... but it means instead of having it delivered you go down to Joe's shop get it for thirty P save yourself five P.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Now isn't that crazy?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Now, the regulations... that control that, that decide that... are absolutely barmy!
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Because... they're encouraging the people who are... providing the business... to go out of business.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[John:] Yeah!
[Arthur:] Aren't they?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Then actual consequence of it
[Paul:] Why not have three pints every other day?
[John:] Because I object to paying that much for milk!
[Paul:] Yeah.
[John:] Even it, even if you
[Paul:] Have four e
[John:] i if
[Paul:] every four
[John:] if
[Paul:] days.
[John:] if the shop, milk shop was across the road to afford that delivery price
[Arthur:] No.
[Paul:] Yeah. Er
[John:] right? Because the.
[Paul:] Mm. You should start your own... milk round.
[Arthur:] So... do you ever, do you have any delivered?
[John:] Yeah, two pints a day.
[Arthur:] At thirty five P a pint?
[John:] Mm.
[Paul:] Well that's
[John:] Because if there's any
[Arthur:] And you get your er
[John:] price
[Arthur:] and you get your other milk from the supermarket
[John:] Yes.
[Arthur:] when you go shopping?
[John:] Yeah.
[Paul:] You should get one a day then there's six pints of milk.
[John:] Get two two a day and it leaves er... four pounds ninety.
[Paul:] But it's when you're built up to nine pints it makes you... [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Why don't you get say, two four-pinters... on a Monday or whenever you go shopping
[John:] Will you shut up! And yo
[Arthur:] and then
[John:] you get you get, keep your own because... if there's any time she can't walk down to the bottom... we've always
[Arthur:] She's got
[John:] got a contact.
[Arthur:] Ah.
[John:] She can put a little note in there and say she wants some a taties and some, some bread... and then it's delivered.
[Arthur:] Oh he delivers those as well does he? Yeah.
[John:] Ah?
[Arthur:] He delivers those as well?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] So you're paying for a service really aren't you?
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Mm. You're not just paying for milk. You're paying for the two things... you're paying for the opportunity
[John:] No!
[Arthur:] you're paying for the opportu by that chap coming round
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] and doing that you're paying for the opportunity of having... erm... other services
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] like bread
[John:] Yeah. I think you may
[Arthur:] yoghurt
[John:] like if you left a note for the postman he'd drop it through the door
[Arthur:] Oh it's like that is it? Yeah.
[John:] Right.
[Arthur:] Fish and chips! [LAUGHTER]
[John:] Well..., quite often than not... er...
[Arthur:] Don't Paul!
[John:] there'd be post... post will come in the afternoon
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] and you dive down to the post box and pushes it in.
[Arthur:] Mm... leave him a little note.... I think we'd better go Paul.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] You're getting a bit restless. I think he ca I think he came tonight for a game of cards that's all he came
[Paul:] No.
[Arthur:] for! Truth is known... if the truth is
[Paul:] Time for a game of pontoon?
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] Pontoon?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[John:] Which is pontoon?
[Arthur:] Twenty ones.
[John:] Ah alright, some time.
[Paul:] That just.
[John:] Twenty ones, unless you're playing for a pair of notes.
[Arthur:] Well we play, we play for millions of pounds!
[Paul:] Once... ah, and a he ended up owing me fifty seven... [LAUGHTER] []!
[Arthur:] You don't go pennies, you go sort of ten thousand pound or half a million on this one now!
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] I'll buy one for half a million pounds!
[Paul:] And then it's er
[Arthur:] And if the stakes look right, right... how much do I owe you? Fourteen million! Right
[Paul:] Ah
[Arthur:] I'll have the next card for fourteen million! [LAUGHTER]
[Paul:] It's a three. [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Oh surely not! Twenty eight million []!
[Paul:] Oh, has it stopped yet?
[Arthur:] I don't know.
[Paul:] Oh have you turned it off.
[Arthur:] No. It, it goes click and it's stopped. Right, do you want us to take anything
[John:] No.
[Arthur:] tonight? What's that? The books?
[Paul:] Yeah, which book? Has it stopped?
[Arthur:] No, right... don't do that again! The books
[Paul:] That bag.
[Arthur:] Liquorice Allsorts.
[Paul:] They'll be gone.
[Arthur:] Mints. It's a pity nobody ever brought yo... brought you grapes... cos I like grapes.
[John:] Do you like grapes?
[Paul:] you're moaning now!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Sherbet le these are the ones I got him!
[Paul:] Yeah I got him them ones!
[John:] Yeah.
[Paul:] One...
[Arthur:] Did he give you those? I was told to get you all stu tangy stuff.
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Tangy drinks, tangy...
[speaker003:] [cough]
[Arthur:] I was... looking for these and you got drunk and eat them! Oh never mind!
[John:] You can leave those there.
[Arthur:] Do you want those leaving? You want the books going
[John:] Yeah, the books and
[Arthur:] the cards, the get well
[John:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] what else?
[John:] ...
[Arthur:] Well your glasses case you don't want them going do you?
[John:] Er, yeah might as well then the glasses in there.
[Arthur:] Oh your glasses are in there, right. And the... and the clock, won't you need a clock for tomorrow?
[Paul:] You can jus just jump
[Arthur:] Oh you've got that one haven't you?
[Paul:] out of bed and
[Arthur:] You can get up at six o'clock in the morning see what time it is can't you?
[John:] I shall be up at six o'clock
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] in the morning, they wake me up at six o'clock in the morning!
[Arthur:] They don't wake you up at six o'clock dad!
[John:] Yeah they do!
[Arthur:] Six o'clock?
[John:] Yeah! Yeah, they get up at six!
[Arthur:] Every... everybody?
[John:] Every morning at six o'clock! Good morning Mr!
[Arthur:] Are you awake? [LAUGHTER]
[John:] ... You hope it isn't!
[Arthur:] No, go away! [LAUGHTER]
[John:] [LAUGHTER] Do you want []!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[John:] Then five minutes afterwards... they come and put this in your mouth... suck this
[Arthur:] Oh, what's that, thermometer?
[John:] Thermometer.
[Arthur:] Yeah. And five minutes after that.
[John:] no, I half an hour after this, an hour after that.
[Arthur:] Cup of tea.
[John:] Cup of tea.
[Arthur:] Ooh, I'd want a cup of tea right as... right away, ooh ooh!
[John:] fast asleep again then.
[Arthur:] At six o'clock in the morning.
[John:] The then, then er
[Arthur:] Oh... then breakfast eh?
[John:] out, out again
[Arthur:] Straight.
[John:] straight to bed
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[John:] make sure you...... and er
[Arthur:] So what time do they, do you have your breakfast then?
[John:] Eight o'clock.
[Arthur:] Eight o'clock you get a bit of
[John:] Give it a lick.
[Arthur:] Get off yo get it off your beard.
[Paul:] That's it! [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] So you get your breakfast when, eight o'clock?
[John:] Yeah.
[Paul:] That's not bad.
[Arthur:] And then you get a cup of tea at ten.
[John:] Really they say...... cos eight o'clock, any time after eight o'clock... and they start making the beds... and make you comfortable... but they've already had three goes at making.
[Arthur:] So you want this lot shifting now?
[John:] Yep.
[Arthur:] [sighing] Okay Paul []? And a
[John:] Now.
[Arthur:] and one, two, three.
[John:] Three carrier bags.
[Arthur:] Three carriers. No I do n't. Thre whisky, wine, three carriers we'll sort that out. Okay Paul? Are you ready?
[John:] That can go in the er... in the one.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Just that one?
[Paul:] Right.
[Arthur:] Yeah it's recording.
[Paul:] Er ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh! did say is he recording?
[Arthur:] Is he recording?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] What the machine?
[Paul:] Or whatever if the machine records.
[Arthur:] Oh! Really?
[Paul:] Strange thing!
[Arthur:] Just one car is it there?
[Paul:] Why is there no parking there?
[Arthur:] Ambulances being able to get in and out.
[Paul:] Oh it's.
[Arthur:] Well that's a... hopefully that's our last visit.
[Paul:] Hopefully.
[Arthur:] Hopefully
[Paul:] Ah!
[Arthur:] that's the last... major thing that... happens to him.... It's a tight bend that!
[Paul:] Just a bit!
[Arthur:] Isn't it?
[Paul:] [singing] Mm mm mm mm []. I wonder how many patients they get like him who are just... lucky?
[Arthur:] Do you think he was lucky?
[Paul:] I think he was very lucky!
[Arthur:] I don't think he was lucky!
[Paul:] He was fortunate.
[Arthur:] He was fortunate in that he had the right doctor at the right time in the right... so hospital
[Paul:] But he didn't have
[Arthur:] the right... expertise... around him.
[Paul:] Oh yeah!
[Arthur:] He hadn't had those... how they
[Paul:] Do you think if he'd been sent into hospital earlier he wouldn't have been in such a
[Arthur:] It would have depended on which hospital he'd have been sent to.
[Paul:] Really?
[Arthur:] Erm... if he'd have stayed at Southwold Hospital he would have died! They couldn't have coped with it, no! What they've done with him there is remarkable!... The skill... the level of skill
[Paul:] Do you want to go to the wine merchants?
[Arthur:] No, I think I've got some at... at home Paul.
[Paul:] stopped, being stopped by the police... [LAUGHTER] find a []... bottle like whisky!
[Arthur:] Oh! If you haven't got a bottle of whisky at home or... I'm sure your mum can get one on the way in... way in tomorrow can't she?
[Paul:] Yeah, we've definitely got a bottle of wine.
[Arthur:] Have you?
[Paul:] [sneeze]
[Arthur:] Have you got a cold starting?
[Paul:] No I haven't I just sneeze... sneezed.
[Arthur:] [singing] Everything I do []
[Paul:] [yawning] Er er [].
[Arthur:] I don't know how you can be so tired when you only get up at half past ten in the morning! Pardon?
[Paul:] I just look tired... for some reason.... [singing] [].... [singing] Mm mm mm mm... mm mm mm [].
[Arthur:] What do you want to do tomorrow? Do you want to come over to the bungalow and sort this bedroom out or
[Paul:] I'd like to go to the hospital... I'd rather go to the hospital.
[Arthur:] You want to go to the hospital?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Okay. Well we'll see what Tony wants to do. If you both wa if you both would rather go to the hospital you can't do that.
[Paul:] [yawning] Oh []... Flip a coin.
[Arthur:] One of you will have to come with me.
[Paul:] Flip a coin and see who gets to go.
[Arthur:] Flick a coin?
[Paul:] What if Tony doesn't wanna go anywhere?
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] What if Tony doesn't wanna go anywhere? You get Philip to help decide. [LAUGHTER]... has to have pick a cushion off, off the floor.
[Arthur:] Really?
[Paul:] Yeah. And.
[Arthur:] No.
[Paul:] Well it will be upstairs cos there's a pillow up... no, no, hey listen... he complained because he had to step over the pillow, that's it! And I says it's
[Arthur:] Will you blow your nose you're going to give yourself a real bad chest! A really bad chest!
[Paul:] Aha, yeah... I haven't got a hankie... hankie.
[Arthur:] Well at your age you should have a hankie with you, you shouldn't have to be told! It should be there. But you don't have to be told to put your socks on do you?
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]... No.
[Arthur:] No.... Well, we'll see what... see what Tony says. Then if you both want to go to the hospital you can't... somebody will have to be... either... graciously accept to go over and get the bedroom sorted
[Paul:] Or?
[Arthur:] or... ungraciously have to toss a coin! That's a Oh it's the red button on that recorder
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] but black... the orange light's... shining on the red button made it look black. Have a look at it. Don't press it but just have a look.
[Paul:] Oh, this light here. Oh yeah!
[Arthur:] See it?
[Paul:] Yeah. It's like if you, if you look at the on that
[Arthur:] Mm.
[Paul:] and then you look at the normal lights
[Arthur:] Mm.
[Paul:] they look really yellow, they look, don't look as yellow as these lights.
[Arthur:] Because the lights are
[Paul:] Ultra violet... er they're
[Arthur:] Ultra violet?
[Paul:] Yeah, that's the colour of the light. And
[Arthur:] Whi a bluey white?
[Paul:] No, it's the actual, the colour of the light is ultra violet... and the colour of the... those normal lights, I think they're red or something.
[Arthur:] But isn't ultra violet blue? A blue light?
[Paul:] Erm, erm not.
[Arthur:] But the lights aren't blue. They've got a blue... hue to them, a blue tinge to them... but the lights aren't blue lights are they?
[Paul:] Yeah.... No they're violet.
[Arthur:] Does it still look like a runway to you then?
[Paul:] No, not any more. I used to be down a straight road here.
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] I used to be down a straight road.... [singing] [].
[Arthur:] [singing] Everything that I do []... The other night when we came back... the streets were deserted.
[Paul:] What night you come back?
[Arthur:] The night of the... F A cup replay.
[Paul:] Was it? So people who'd either gone to the football or
[Arthur:] Watching it or listening to it on the
[Paul:] or watching it on the radio or television.
[Arthur:] Was it on, I think it was on Sky or something
[Paul:] It was Sky, it was on Sky.
[Arthur:] Sky T V... so... they were either watching it on their own or... being very neighbourly with their neighbours... or listening to it on the radio... or as you say, up in Liverpool.
[Paul:] Rather not go there!
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] I'd rather not go to [LAUGHTER] Liverpool []!
[Arthur:] It is a pity though... winning two one, being... being up two one and then
[Paul:] Were they?
[Arthur:] Yeah! And then losing three two.
[Paul:] That's a pity.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paul:] So who scored?
[Arthur:] If only, if only! I think Des Allan,
[Paul:] Yeah but erm... he was going out with erm... Nathan's sister.
[Arthur:] Who? The Was he?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] For how long?
[Paul:] I don't know how long it was. Said they were going out [LAUGHTER] it's just that... that was ages ago though [].
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] It was ages ago. [whispering] [].
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] I just remember. this nuisance right.
[Arthur:] Say that again!
[Paul:] I remember about.
[Arthur:] Did you know... that if a man
[Paul:] Jumps off, I know.
[Arthur:] jumps off the top of Big Ben
[Paul:] Yeah, I know.
[Arthur:] wearing a tweed jacket
[Paul:] he
[Arthur:] he'll hit the ground in... eight and a half seconds!
[Paul:] Did you know that this one?
[Arthur:] Not many people know that!
[Paul:] That if you jumped off Big Ben... wearing a s... sto sto sto sto sto sto... a wearing a... wearing a... leather jacket
[Arthur:] Mm!
[Paul:] your top speed would be two hundred and seventy two miles an hour!
[Arthur:] Not many people know that!
[Paul:] That's right.
[Arthur:] Nah... it's right innit!
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Ha!
[Paul:] You know the fastest speed of one is two hundred and forty miles an hour something like that.
[Arthur:] It's thirty, it accelerates at thirty two feet per second
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] per second
[Paul:] But it can only reach
[Arthur:] doesn't it?
[Paul:] a certain speed... but in fact
[Arthur:] Oh yes!
[Paul:] as you
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paul:] fall you slow down because... you ca there's more, there's more air friction... towards the ground.
[Arthur:] Yeah, so if... as you're falling from a great height.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Okay if... the theory is, if you dropped a feather and a penny... at the same time from the same height the theory is that they both should reach the ground
[Paul:] Equally, equal time.
[Arthur:] at the same time
[Paul:] but the feather there's a lot more of
[Arthur:] but in fact they don't
[Paul:] the surface area to.
[Arthur:] Yeah, so if
[Paul:] to collect the air
[Arthur:] there's a
[Paul:] on
[Arthur:] it tends to float down a bit. Just hold on to your seat belt I've got somebody right up our backside! Oh he's dropped back a bit. I thought we were going to have a visitor in the boot. He's right
[Paul:] He's still there.
[Arthur:] right up behind us.
[Paul:] Hit your fog light then.
[Arthur:] Well... never mind.
[Paul:] He's trying to get a bit closer.
[Arthur:] He just got a lot closer than that.
[Paul:] Blimey
[Arthur:] A lot closer than that that's
[Paul:] he's a Ford
[Arthur:] and at a guess... is it Ford?
[Paul:] Ford Escort or something.
[Arthur:] No it's not.
[Paul:] , it was a Ford.
[Arthur:] It wasn't a Ford it was Japanese
[Paul:] It is a Ford Granada. I, I read... I read the, I saw the.
[Arthur:] It's a funny shaped Ford Granada that Paul! I thought we were going to have a visitor... coming in through the back door.
[Paul:] This door.
[Arthur:] Yeah... he was close... I don't know why. He was very close! Here we go!
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] It's a nuisance that, isn't it that?
[Paul:] And you don't actually know it's going off do you?
[Arthur:] It's only happened, you know when the windscreen... went... all the bubbles appeared
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] on... in, in, in the laminates... alright... well... when they took the windscreen out and replaced it with this one... it's only since then... that repair
[Paul:] [yawning] Really []?
[Arthur:] that this has started to creak and crackle.... And one good... crack with the back of your hand... sorts it out for a couple of minutes.
[Paul:] What's in the bottom?
[Arthur:] Pardon? It's in the back there whatever it is that's bouncing around.
[Paul:] Ah it's this tape.
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] It's this tape.
[Arthur:] Shove!
[Paul:] Beep, boo!
[Arthur:] Faster and faster.
[Paul:] Nice to be in the speed limit.... Did you see Tomorrow's World?
[Arthur:] I saw bits of it, I was talking with your grandpa today about that.
[Paul:] The bullet.
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] The bullet... the fastest bullet. They... they were experimenting to erm... reproduce a space... what it's like in space when... erm... debris since the space shuttle... and then er
[Arthur:] Oh that's why I came up wasn't it? You know
[Paul:] You know and they were... they were erm... firing this bullet at seven kilometres a second
[Arthur:] Yes.
[Paul:] that's the speed... and she's tearing into about... erm... five... five strips of sheet metal.
[Arthur:] That's the bullet?
[Paul:] Yeah... i it's all done with hydrogen gas cylinder... compressing the bullet. The most
[Arthur:] Those
[Paul:] powerful gun in the world so
[Arthur:] it was shot by compression... rather than explosion
[Paul:] No, no... no it's an explosion
[Arthur:] Yes.
[Paul:] sent this little erm... sort of... tube... sort of cylinder... through er... the hydrogen gas... and then
[Arthur:] Explain it again you've lost me already.
[Paul:] There was a... it's gunpowder
[Arthur:] Yep.
[Paul:] that shot this
[Arthur:] Why was there gunpowder?
[Paul:] in the end, the gun was a... the gun was about
[Arthur:] It was an actual gun?
[Paul:] Yeah but it's... it's not a
[Arthur:] An ord
[Paul:] hand gun
[Arthur:] A rifle?
[Paul:] No! A gu a gun about erm... forty metres long.
[Arthur:] Forty metres!
[Paul:] Yeah, it's a gun.
[Arthur:] So it was a gun that was only, you'd only find it in a building? It isn't an, an actual gun that you'd... see
[Paul:] Oh no!
[Arthur:] somewhere?
[Paul:] No, it's the only one of its kind!
[Arthur:] So it's ju it's purely
[Paul:] No it's
[Arthur:] experimental?
[Paul:] Yeah. And they were er... and the gunpowder... when, when it... was ignited... this
[Arthur:] It exploded.
[Paul:] yeah, it's
[Arthur:] the bullet moved away from it
[Paul:] no, no, not the bullet! The, there was a erm... send it down... right, and that got sent down this
[Arthur:] They shot a cylinder away?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] A solid cylinder?
[Paul:] Yeah. And this, and this cylinder
[Arthur:] But a cylinder is empty!
[Paul:] Yeah, oh it's... you know I mean a...... er
[Arthur:] A ce it was cylindrical but it was... solid?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paul:] And it shot it... went down... shot it through this barrel... and inside was hydrogen gas and as it went through
[Arthur:] But it, but as it went
[Paul:] when it went
[Arthur:] through, through the gas, yeah?
[Paul:] it erm... the gas just pushed... very hard
[Arthur:] So the cylinder fixed tightly inside the barrel like... just as if
[Paul:] No!
[Arthur:] it was
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] a bullet? Yeah.
[Paul:] And then this... hits a plate... and on that plate
[Arthur:] Now what hits the plate? The gas or the bullet?
[Paul:] The... both at the same time I think
[Arthur:] Okay.
[Paul:] the er
[Arthur:] What's the point in putting the hydrogen gas
[Paul:] I'll explain that.
[Arthur:] Go on.
[Paul:] Okay. And then... on this plate there's a, there's an actual bullet... no... a... and it, it, it looks like a bullet, I don't kno I don't know what it is... and it's like that if you hit something
[Arthur:] Yep.
[Paul:] if you hit something... twice as big... to what you're hitting it'll go twice as fast... as it does with a snooker ball. But a snooker ball isn't twice as big, you know... when a snooker ball hits something the other ball goes away quicker... than the ball that's hit it... yeah?
[Arthur:] It gains, it gains momentum.
[Paul:] Yeah. So it, it ga it went twice as quick as that ball's going.
[Arthur:] Mhm.
[Paul:] And then this went down the barrel and... you know, hit whatever it wanted to hit... and each shot cost a thousand pounds! In setting each one of them, to get it all ready cost a thousand pounds! But they... they, that wasn't accurate because it has to go up, to have... fifteen kilometres a second.
[Arthur:] And they've only got it to seven?
[Paul:] Yeah. But they do that, they reckon it won't take long.
[Arthur:] Do they think they can get it up to fifteen?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] And what's the purpose of it?
[Paul:] To... try... erm... make a material that... withstand... if it was hitting it.
[Arthur:] At fifteen kilometres... a second?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Because of the danger of... space... things in space being hit by debris... and the... the debris is travelling at fifteen kilometres a second?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Yeah?
[Paul:] ... erm... a flake of paint hit a spaceship windscreen and it cracked it, just a flake of paint!
[Arthur:] A flake of paint?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] No metal attached to it?
[Paul:] No, just a flake of paint.
[Arthur:] Just a flake of paint. Is, is, yes it's, it's, that's doing it. So how much... junk, garbage, rubbish
[Paul:] I know
[Arthur:] whatever is up there.
[Paul:] I know.
[Arthur:] Is it in one particular area or is it just scattered
[Paul:] No it's anywhere.
[Arthur:] That's stupid isn't it?
[Paul:] Oh it is.
[Arthur:] Why don't they collect it together then?
[Paul:] Well it's just like the ends of space rockets you know. Mi you know the really old Russian ones,... when they... I remember... when they shot the rockets up and then... the bits of them just... get left behind in space.
[Arthur:] This is crazy! It's waiting for an accident to happen!
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Because if one of, not just a flake of paint if something... bigger than that
[Paul:] Yeah, and when
[Arthur:] a piece of a rocket or
[Paul:] and when tho... when that
[Arthur:] a bolt or a nut or something
[Paul:] and when that hit... whatever it hit
[Arthur:] it would really damage it wouldn't it?
[Paul:] and when that hits whatever it hit that's gonna explode and that's gonna... send.
[Arthur:] Oh my God! So, are the plans afoot... to... collect this rubbish?
[Paul:] No, just tha I don't think they're gonna
[Arthur:] Are we go ar... are we going to have dustbin men orbiting the world?
[Paul:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []!
[Arthur:] Ha?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Waiting for a Christmas tip!... That's a thought isn't it?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Maybe there's an industry in the fu... er, for the future there Paul? Seriously! Refuse collection
[Paul:] Have to have some.
[Arthur:] Orbital Cleaning Services! Refuse... refuse collection of the world... world... out of this world, we're out of this world! We're
[Paul:] Di... did grandpa say he could drive back?
[Arthur:] Oh, said he could drive back, I don't think... he might be able to but... I do
[Paul:] He
[Arthur:] I think it would erm... that would set him back Paul... that really would.
[Paul:] Oh yeah!
[Arthur:] Don't play around
[Paul:] I think
[Arthur:] with that!
[Paul:] ... he's in high spirits isn't he? That he's coming out.
[Arthur:] Well it's good that! It's
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] it's important he's... feeling he wants to do things.
[Paul:] And what's this about a light switch?
[Arthur:] When the wardrobes are moved it could be that they will hide the wall light switch and he's not bothered about that one little bit! Because it doesn't, as he says... he doesn't use the main light in the room... he uses the bedside lights... okay?
[Paul:] Aha. And if he really needs
[Arthur:] Good!
[Paul:] to put it on he can just... put his hand behind it.... Ha, dark.
[Arthur:] He just doesn't want it on! So i... it doesn't come into it that! Okay?
[Paul:] Aha.
[Arthur:] [sighing] Right [].
[Paul:] It's such a small room that one.
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] It's such a small room.
[Arthur:] Small... room?
[Paul:] Mm.
[Arthur:] Yep.... Out tomorrow! Hasn't he done well?
[Paul:] He's been very lucky! That's right he.
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paul:] He... he's the only person out of that... in that whole Ward
[Arthur:] Mm.
[Paul:] the only patient that probably hasn't got cancer... he's the only one.
[Arthur:] But the others... that have got the cancers I think you'll find that... what they're doing with them ar... a lot of those cancers will be cured.
[Paul:] Oh yeah! No, all they have to do once they've found one new cure for cancer
[Arthur:] Yes.
[Paul:] the they'll have it for everything! Cos they're all generally the same cancer so
[Arthur:] Well, if you find a universal cure for something that's what it
[Paul:] Yeah, I mean
[Arthur:] means!
[Paul:] No, if they find one cure for it. If they find a cure for say, lung cancer... they'll just have to chase just a tiny bit and they will do cancer.
[Arthur:] I don't know.
[Paul:] Cos all cancer is your cells erm
[Arthur:] Ah but that's the simplistic
[Paul:] I know.
[Arthur:] side of it, er all it is is that
[Paul:] That's all it, yeah.
[Arthur:] It's what triggers it and what causes it to keep triggering and moving that and
[Paul:] Mm.
[Arthur:] going out of control. What... and if we can... find out what it is that does that
[Paul:] You go to people and say
[Arthur:] and then
[Paul:] antidote
[Arthur:] and then find
[Paul:] that sort of thing.
[Arthur:] and then find... what it's... what we can do to stop it triggering... and carrying that... reaction on and on and on and on... or... turning it back. If that makes that happen that way... what... makes it go the opposite way? You know, what makes it reduce? In safety, that is.... Cos you might find you give somebody something... erm... which counteracts that
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] but then because it's going into the body it's also counteracting so many other things that you don't want it to counteract.
[Paul:] What lu like... chemotherapy?
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paul:] Mm. Ah!
[Arthur:] Right, come on then. Can you bring in... all those things out of the back?
[Paul:] [yawning] Aha [].
[Arthur:] Please? The sweets, the books... the lot, everything he's just given us.
[Paul:] Go and shut that door. That's it.
[Arthur:] Don't leave anything behind. Have you got the lot?
[Paul:] Yep.
[Arthur:] Three carriers, whisky and wine... that was it. And wild, wild women! Close the door... properly.... Three carriers... bottle of whisky... bottle of wine.
[speaker003:] Bottle of whisky?
[Arthur:] Bottle of wine.
[Paul:] Here's his sweets.
[speaker003:] And what do you want?
[Arthur:] They're his thankyous.
[speaker003:] ?
[Arthur:] He's getting ready.
[speaker003:] You saw didn't you? Leave them!
[Arthur:] He's given them to us that's why!
[speaker003:] Oh!
[Arthur:] No I'm not. Well he's... no... once I'm home.
[speaker002:] Whisky?
[Arthur:] Whisky, wine... erm
[speaker002:] Why whisky?
[Arthur:] Well he, he asked the nurse... and the nurse said... obviously said... we don't care for anything like, we do it for the good of you. And he said... said... yes
[speaker002:] Not for long!
[Arthur:] I know you do it for the good of us... but I still like to... to buy you something as a thank you.
[speaker002:] Well I'll get
[Arthur:] So... she said well... and he said whisky? And she said, oh no not that much, you know not, not that, no, no I want to, says well... oh no, how about wine? We like wine. So... he said yeah, alright wine and then... he said and whisky. So, I'll see... I'll see what I've got down here in here.
[speaker002:] Well I'll give you the money for it.
[Arthur:] No you won't!
[speaker002:] Yes I will!
[Arthur:] It's our thank you as well.
[speaker002:] Don't be daft!
[Arthur:] I'm not being daft it's a fact! It's our thank you as well.
[speaker002:] Oh. What was he like tonight?
[Arthur:] Erm... he's cold
[speaker002:] Tired?
[Arthur:] yeah, he was a bit tired.
[speaker002:] Cold?
[Arthur:] No, his cold from this morning, he had a... drippy nose remember?
[speaker002:] Oh yeah you said so.
[Arthur:] Yeah. Er, his eyes were a bit full, you know, you know when somebody's
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] sickening for a cold... erm
[speaker002:] What did the nurse say about that?
[Arthur:] God, they're not worried about that! They've got all his tablets sorted for him... for coming home. You know, what he'll have
[speaker002:] Are they?
[Arthur:] dosage, frequency... so on.
[speaker002:] And he has to contact the doctor?
[Arthur:] Erm... he didn't say that... that'll all be... no doubt he'll have all sorts of notes and that... er
[speaker002:] When is he able to come out?
[Arthur:] Any, any time after ten o'clock he said.
[speaker002:] Ooh.
[Arthur:] Any time after ten.
[speaker002:] Better get up early then.
[Arthur:] No, he said... don't break your necks he said... any time after ten. I said, about eleven? Yeah... whatever time. He said but whatever you do don't come before ten.
[speaker002:] Well...
[Arthur:] Okay? Aha! Is Paula upstairs? Yeah?... Any time after ten. Okay? Erm... three carrier bags
[Paula:] That's what he wants?
[Arthur:] Yep.
[Paula:] He hasn't packed anything tonight?
[Arthur:] Well I didn't bring... he didn't sleep last night he said.
[Paula:] Why not?
[Arthur:] I don't know! Just didn't sleep last night. And three carrier bags... bottle of whisky... bottle of wine.
[Paula:] For the
[Arthur:] They're the... gifts... they're the thankyous. Okay?
[Paula:] For the... thingy?
[Arthur:] Oh he said, he said he just, he's just gonna leave them. I think the wine will definitely go to the nurses and the whisky will go to... whoever wants to have a drink of whisky. So it'll be... never know, you might get some happy doctors! Erm... what else?
[Paula:] Did he suggest that or did you ask him?
[Arthur:] He asked the nurse. She said wine, he, she suggested whisky and... oh no not that much then, oh no you're worth more than that, you know the usual thing to
[Paula:] But did you suggest it to him did he want to bring, take anything in... or
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paula:] oh yeah.
[Arthur:] Erm... his, his cold looks as though it's settling in his eyes
[Paula:] Mm.
[Arthur:] you know it's... what else? Erm... we didn't play cards... he was a bit he was okay but he was obviously... he's finding it hard at times.
[Paula:] How do you mean hard?
[Arthur:] Staying with it... you know, he's tired.
[Paula:] Mm.
[Arthur:] Don't look, there's no need to look like that! He was just
[Paula:] I'm just a bit.
[Arthur:] he was tired, he's got this cold coming on... but he said... you can be in here so long but after a while... you feel as though you've got to come out, you need to get out! You know he, and he's at that point now
[Paula:] Mm.
[Arthur:] where he needs to get out. Which is fair enough.
[Paula:] Angela rang me. What
[Arthur:] Alright, yeah? Has er... Tony phoned? Cos he said he'd phone back.
[Paula:] No. Angela rang... er... anything happening.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paula:] I said well things are happening I said but quite honestly
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paula:] and er... she said she was... she said had we talked to Dick and Joan or not?
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paula:] I said, Angela we just haven't had the time.
[Arthur:] Have you explained? What
[Paula:] What?
[Arthur:] why?
[Paula:] I said er... that we would do it this weekend.
[Arthur:] Oh! Right.
[Paula:] So we've got tomorrow, but she said till Tuesday
[Arthur:] Yeah okay right.
[Paula:] and then I said I'd give her a ring.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paula:] I rang up er... Gareth
[Arthur:] Yes.
[Paula:] He wants... he'll send us a er... a rough erm... sponsorship form cos I said we could do it on the computer you know, the
[Arthur:] Oh that's what I didn't bring back from school! Computer for Tony.
[Paula:] And he said
[Arthur:] I'll have to.
[Paula:] Mm. And also... he said could he have a news... sheet
[Arthur:] Mm.
[Paula:] cos he says they're going round all the schools
[Arthur:] Mm.
[Paula:] and er... I said ooh well I said we need furniture because we're adopting the school and... and
[Arthur:] Mm.
[Paula:] you know and I said that... so I put that on, he said and what you actually want them to collect
[Arthur:] Mhm.
[Paula:] and he said we're aiming for five thousand.
[Arthur:] Pounds?
[Paula:] Yeah. And all the schools that they go into
[Arthur:] Yes.
[Paula:] they're going to er
[Arthur:] Which schools are the is it the high schools they're getting into in the Midlands?
[Paula:] yeah.
[Arthur:] What about the pri... they won't be do going into the primaries will they?
[Paula:] [LAUGHTER] You was sat there []! Erm... now, so he said erm... that's what they're aiming for... this thing that they want them to do on May the eighteenth... plus a sponsorship walk on the sixth of June
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paula:] plus all the schools that they're going to between and what do we want them to collect so they can do all and that.
[Arthur:] Is this a realistic target he's setting at five thousand?
[Paula:] Oh well he seems to. I said could we do anything?
[Arthur:] He thinks they'll be able to
[Paula:] I said could we do anything?
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paula:] So re I explained about... father and he said you know, we must get together.
[Arthur:] Mhm.
[Paul:] Er Tony won't be able to come tomorrow he's got to do his homework.
[Paula:] Right.
[Arthur:] You're joking?
[Paul:] Yeah, said he was going to do his homework.
[Paula:] I think that's a
[Paul:] So he's not gonna welcome grandpa
[Paula:] There might be too much going on tomorrow, I think it's getting
[Arthur:] There just might be too many people there.
[Paula:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paula:] Getting
[Arthur:] Well we've got to... we've gotta go there sort this bedroom out.
[Paul:] I'd like to go and see him, I'd like, ah I know, say goodbye.
[Paula:] To who?
[Paul:] Everyone.
[Arthur:] Doesn't matter.
[Paul:] Oh, just like to say goodbye!
[Arthur:] Doesn't matter Paul, they say i i
[Paul:] I'd like to.
[Arthur:] in a place like that Paul people are coming and going all the time.
[Paul:] Yes, just like to say goodbye.
[Paula:] Anybody... in particular there?
[Arthur:] Well let's hope we don't have to go back! Er... no.
[Paul:] See if we got that bottle of whisky... got a bottle of Bells.
[Arthur:] Unopened?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Yeah? Erm... yeah he's okay, he was... he's in good spirits. He's looking to getting out of the hospit looking forward to a, a change
[Paula:] What's that
[Arthur:] of... of scenery and so on. I was thinking you know... he's go I don't know how long he's gonna be cooped up in that bedroom
[Paula:] Mm.
[Arthur:] you know, how long
[Paula:] Mm.
[Arthur:] and... getting up and that... would it be worthwhile buying him
[Paula:] I suggested that.
[Arthur:] Buying him one? Not ge you know just
[Paula:] Suggested that I erm
[Arthur:] To whom?
[Paula:] he don't want one.
[Arthur:] To whom?
[Paula:] To both of them.
[Arthur:] When?
[Paula:] Er... the other night... after we'd got that one... mm.
[Arthur:] What was their reaction?
[Paula:] Mm. No.
[Arthur:] Really?
[Paula:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] your mum doesn't she?
[Paula:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] That's a simple one she said.
[Paula:] [whispering] Just get her one of them [].
[Arthur:] That's what I was thinking.
[Paula:] But did he say anything?
[Arthur:] No. No. The only thing is... he's gonna find... being a lot of tensions there.
[Paula:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Once the erm... initial... ecstasy of being home has... is over. Er
[Paula:] Why?
[Arthur:] I don't know how long that'll take for it to be over, whether five minutes or fi
[Paula:] [whispering] [].
[Arthur:] or ten hours. Pardon?
[Paula:] [whispering] [].
[Arthur:] From them... you know... ma... that she's got over the ecstasy of, yes he's coming home? She's not looking forward to it?
[Paula:] [whispering] [].
[Arthur:] No? Right.
[Paula:] [whispering] and now he'll have to change his ways and he'll have to take her shopping [].
[Arthur:] She's been saying that? And what... and surely you didn't... just say nothing to that?
[Paula:] [whispering] []
[Arthur:] Didn't you tell her that was a bit unfair?
[Paula:] [whispering] I can't can I []?
[Arthur:] You can tell her, I'm afraid that's what you need to do!
[Paula:] Mhm.
[Arthur:] No, no, no, the longer you... the longer you let something like that ride
[Paula:] [whispering] [].
[Arthur:] Ah well no that's
[Paula:] [whispering] staying longer and she's going to come here... to tell well you know the reality!
[Arthur:] Yep.
[Paula:] ... there [].
[Arthur:] Yeah but... what I'm saying is... when she says things like that I think you've got to be clear... and honest with her.
[Paula:] [whispering] The thing is they won't be going shopping, they won't be doing anything for a long time... and she's []
[Arthur:] And it, it isn't a personal thing on his part... it's no not going shopping or driving her here there and everywhere... because he... he, he, he... er er he doesn't want to it's just that he's incap he will be incapable of doing it. Sh surely she understands that?
[Paula:] [whispering] She does, and then it... just fades into the background... she will have to go if she needs to get bread and milk and things tomorrow... I'll have to take her []. Come on let's ring up Aunty Felicity.
[speaker002:] Why?
[Arthur:] Well, in New Zealand.
[Paul:] Call New Zealand.
[Arthur:] We we, we, we'll waffle.
[Paula:] waffle.
[Paul:] Waffle.
[Arthur:] Potato, you can make out of potatoes
[Paul:] Right dad.
[Paula:] And I can
[Paul:] ... is it like a crisp? Or is it thicker?
[Arthur:] Ah oh no!
[Paula:] No.
[Arthur:] You know like mashed potato?
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] You know, you know when you're on
[Paula:] I'm... I'm ringing Aunty Felicity
[Arthur:] make those toasties?
[Paula:] I'm ringing er
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] You know the toasties?
[Paula:] New Zealand.
[Arthur:] If you make them... you can make a waffle... with mashed potato
[Paul:] So it's fried potato.
[Arthur:] instead of bread... gril yeah, grilled it, fry it type of potato.
[Paul:] Right, it's fried potato.
[Arthur:] Grilled, fried
[Paul:] have waffles
[Arthur:] They are erm... I wo I wouldn't call it he
[Paula:] Paul.
[Arthur:] I wouldn't call it healthy eating.
[Paul:] No.
[Arthur:] You know, it's alright but if you just eat waffles, it's like just eating chips!
[Paula:] yeah.
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Sooner or later you're gonna say that's not healthy eating.
[Paula:] I phoned up er, what do call her, Ann?
[Arthur:] Okay?
[Paula:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] You phoned
[Paul:] And
[Arthur:] up Ann? Paula? Paula? Paula? Paul, shush! You phoned up Ann, Paula?
[Paula:] Phoned up Ann, yeah she in
[Arthur:] Joan?
[Paula:] so I left a message.
[Arthur:] Joan?
[Paula:] I rang Joan yesterday. Rang her up today.
[Arthur:] No, you can give her a ring later. There's no rush for that one now. Is this, is this New Zealand.
[Paul:] New Zealand.
[Paula:] [cough] Yes it
[Arthur:] Whe where's the number?
[Paula:] O
[Arthur:] One
[Paula:] one... O
[Paul:] [whispering] [].
[Arthur:] Shush shush!
[Paula:] eight, four
[Arthur:] Is that one? One
[Paul:] Gooday sport!
[Arthur:] What's the name of the family?
[speaker002:] Eh what time is it though?
[Arthur:] Ah, well you
[Paula:] Ma!
[Arthur:] won't it takes ages
[Paula:] Ma!
[Arthur:] to get through!
[speaker002:] I just got a long continuance tone.
[Paul:] Press it out.
[speaker002:] What there... what time is it in New Zealand?
[Arthur:] Twelve hours
[Paul:] Gooday cobber!
[Arthur:] What time is it now? Twenty five to ten, it's twenty five to ten there but in the morning.
[speaker002:] Oh.
[Paul:] So Felicity's just got up.
[speaker002:] Oh it's morning?
[Paul:] She's just up.
[Arthur:] Is it ringing?
[Paula:] No.
[Arthur:] Let me try it.
[Paula:] They'll be a way of doing your blocks.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] Course it's morning there isn't it?
[Arthur:] O one O just gets you out of the country.
[Paula:] New Zealand.
[Arthur:] Is New Zealand six, four?
[Paul:] Hello cobber! Have you got, have you got some? No, you got some?.
[Paula:] O one
[Arthur:] O one O!
[Paula:] O one O
[Arthur:] Yeah got that. Is it nineteen next? Where's your nineteen in there? In that list? Have you got a nineteen?
[Paula:] Well it's Auckland..., oh maybe that's a comma?
[Arthur:] Sorry, you have dialled incorrectly! It's telling me
[Paula:] O one O
[Arthur:] there's a in there
[Paula:] ... is Auckland, which is there.
[Arthur:] Auckland, yeah. So it's not?
[Paula:] No.
[Arthur:] That's why. O one O
[speaker002:] You know the... you know what this is?
[Arthur:] ... nine
[Paula:] nine
[Arthur:] then it'll be the area code won't it? . Scrub out that one.
[Paula:] Say good news, that should be over the phone.
[Arthur:] It's ringing! There we are... round the other side of the world! Chin up!
[Paula:] [phonecall starts] Hello Pat, it's Paula is Felicity around? You can tell her it's good news, don't worry her!
[Arthur:] Is it clear?
[Paula:] I said it, I said it's good news and she rushed off, he comes out tomorrow if er... I said, I said I shouted as your friend ran off, [LAUGHTER] I shouted tell her it's good news []! Er... ee he comes out tomorrow, he's had... two biopsies... to doubly check... and
[Arthur:] From different parts of the
[Paula:] and
[Arthur:] lump.
[Paula:] the different parts of the lump and... today he was told that the second biopsy was clear... it's not malignant
[Arthur:] As was the first.
[Paula:] and it is a case of... it's, it's problems from the radiation treatment
[Arthur:] It's a reaction to it.
[Paula:] it's a reaction and it's caused... that er, but it's not malignant... he's literally turned the corner... oh, Monday, Tuesday
[Arthur:] [whispering] Similar to his [].
[Paula:] Monday, Tuesday, he started getting better... and, and he's steadily got better and better and better, he's very, very tired, he's not well... he's very tired but er it's... oh yes, yeah! It's not malignant... and... he's coming home, so we've got to pick him up tomorrow morning... and he's smashing! No er, we didn't
[Arthur:] Sh
[Paula:] think he would but he's done it!
[Arthur:] She can celebrate in whisky!
[Paula:] Right... so you can celebrate... he said
[Arthur:] With whisky!
[Paula:] have a whisky! Yeah. I... is it ten o'clock in the morning?
[Arthur:] Twenty five to.
[speaker002:] Ask her if she's enjoying it?
[Arthur:] What's the weather like? What's the
[Paula:] Twenty to eleven. What's the weather like? Oh my word! An and what, and what's it... really? It's so nice?
[Arthur:] It is here.
[Paula:] Yeah.
[Paul:] [whispering] [].
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paul:] [whispering] []
[Paula:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[Paul:] But... while we're talking here we'll be letting Felicity
[Paula:] Yeah.
[Paul:] be late won't it?
[Arthur:] Mm. Slightly... it's got to be. It can't be instant.
[Paula:] Oh lovely! Oh well, oh well done!
[Paul:] It's the other side of the world!
[Arthur:] I it th this is easier to get than Romania!
[Paula:] , it's the ideal thing! Oh I'm glad you're enjoying it. Anyway, it's very, very good news, he's turned the corner... I've hit him over the head with the newspaper! Yeah. Yeah, yeah. In between yeah, here's Alice, he sh here she is she'll come and talk to you across the world... be go be going... be going back tomorrow
[Arthur:] I, she she's hobbling through!
[Paula:] Hobbling through.
[Arthur:] The old woman!
[Paula:] Yeah... er, no... since he's been in, he th is, here she is [phonecall ends].
[Paul:] Talk to Australia now... gran.
[Arthur:] New Zealand.
[speaker002:] [phonecall starts] Are you having a good time?
[Paul:] New Zealand, yeah.
[Arthur:] [whispering] Shut up... Shut up []!
[speaker002:] Is it? Have you got yourself an ice cream parlour?
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Not yet! Line them up! Line them up! [LAUGHTER]...... [LAUGHTER]... Line them up!
[Arthur:] Here si sit down!
[speaker002:] Oh he keeps looking at me. Here's Arthur [phonecall starts].
[Arthur:] Oh! Here's Arthur! Hello, here's Arthur.
[speaker003:] [phone talk] Hello there!
[Arthur:] How are you?
[speaker003:] Right across the world, fine!
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[speaker003:] Comfortable.
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[speaker003:] Yeah, and New Zealand is smashing!
[Arthur:] Yeah, he's a, he's an old fraud isn't he? Really?
[speaker003:] Yeah, he's an old fraud!
[Arthur:] Nothing more than ol bloody, old bugger!
[Paula:] Can I have a
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] No, ah so that's right I've sworn into, I've sworn into the Pacific how about that! Did you have a good flight? Did you have a good flight?
[speaker003:] Comfortable
[Arthur:] Yeah. Great lovely! Right then. Well yeah, well
[speaker003:] Okay then?
[Arthur:] Yeah, I'll see you, go back to bed!
[speaker003:] Right.
[Arthur:] Enjoy yourself.
[speaker003:] Oh no,!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]... Oh I know you have a I've I know I a I know I haven't got you up. At the moment?
[speaker003:] What time is it with you?
[Arthur:] Erm... it's ju twenty to ten. Twenty to
[speaker003:] Twenty to ten at night?
[Arthur:] Yep.
[speaker003:] You're ready for bed?
[Arthur:] No I
[speaker003:] We've lived that day!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] No, oh you've had it []! Hey, must of ee ee,wha what's it like? [LAUGHTER] Is
[speaker003:] oh you would love it!
[Arthur:] Oh alright, in that case I'll stay up! [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] Oh but i we never pay the bills! [] Right, I'll see you Fliss, I'll see you love! Okay, right thanks bye! Bye! Yeah, will do, thanks, bye!
[speaker003:] Right bye!
[Arthur:] Bye! Bye! [phonecall ends]
[Paul:] It's a clear line isn't it?
[Arthur:] God innit clear?
[Paula:] Int it clear!
[Arthur:] All tho
[Paul:] All the way by satellite!
[speaker002:] somebody in New Zealand!
[Arthur:] I swore in the Pacific! How about that! [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Ooh!
[Paul:] That's by satellite that is!
[speaker002:] I thought I was talking somebody in
[Arthur:] Brilliant.
[Paula:] You when the when they say... it's better in... than er... phoning up down the road
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] It's right. Mm.
[Paula:] it's right.
[Arthur:] Good old B T!
[speaker002:] I'm gonna
[Arthur:] Oh that smells good!
[speaker002:] This is for them tomorrow for dinner.
[Arthur:] Does she know?
[Paul:] You can say that!
[Arthur:] Have you told ha you?
[speaker002:] Yeah.
[Arthur:] Oh is that that steak I got the other night?
[speaker002:] It's clear on
[Arthur:] Is it all in there?
[Paula:] Pardon?
[Arthur:] All the steak in there? Mm, they'll
[Paul:] Swap
[Arthur:] enjoy that!
[Paul:] tomorrow?
[Arthur:] No! Grandma's having this tomorrow. You'll enjoy this grandma won't you?
[speaker002:] What?
[Arthur:] This... steak and onions? Have you smelt it? It's for you tomorrow!
[speaker002:] Oh! I said, I think we should leave it home and have it tomorrow.
[Arthur:] I think you should as well.
[speaker002:] Paula leave it at home!
[Arthur:] Aye, leave it at home Paula!
[Paul:] Aye.
[Arthur:] Yeah... I like that!
[Paula:] He likes that!
[Arthur:] Yeah. [LAUGHTER] Yo your mother won't like that! Shh!
[speaker002:] No, leave it at home.
[Arthur:] Will you will your grandma like that?
[Paul:] No you'll hate it won't you?... you'll throw it in the bin and grandma can throw it away!
[Arthur:] I think we'll have a celebration tonight, now
[Paul:] Yeah.
[Paula:] Can't!
[Arthur:] Oh I can!
[Paul:] Ah we can!
[Arthur:] Ah oh, what shall we have? Let's have a
[Paul:] Excellent!
[Arthur:] look erm
[Paul:] Er
[Arthur:] erm, eeny meeny miney mo!
[Paul:] Brurgh, that one.
[Arthur:] No, not that one.
[Paul:] Shut your eyes and point.
[Arthur:] Hold on, there's a nice whisky somewhere!
[speaker002:] Paula, they haven't!
[Paul:] How about a vodka?
[Arthur:] Cor!
[Paul:] I know where there's a whisky! It's up in the sideboard.
[Arthur:] Has it been opened cos we're going to need one for the
[Paula:] That's it.
[Arthur:] Lou's got my other bottle of whisky.
[speaker002:] Can you put that away for me love?
[Arthur:] Let it cool down first.
[speaker002:] No, the oven's
[Arthur:] Oh, let it cool down first. And you always turn this off, this
[Paula:] whisky Paul!
[speaker002:] My feet are killing me!
[Arthur:] Oh, your feet are killing you! Well you shouldn't have ironed! No
[speaker002:] I shouldn't of got
[Arthur:] no sympathy for you at all! None at all!
[Paul:] You got a Glenfiddich.
[Arthur:] A Glenfiddich. I'll have that Jim Beam... that'll do.
[Paul:] The Glenfiddich's been opened as well. That's open.
[Arthur:] It never has?
[Paul:] It has.
[Arthur:] Oh... I'll have to take that tomorrow.
[Paula:] Do you want a Glenfiddich now?
[Arthur:] No, I'll have the Jim Beam thanks. It's foul stuff, it gets in your mouth!
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Haven't you ever noticed that?
[Paul:] What...?
[Arthur:] Whisky... gets right in your mouth!
[Paul:] Oh how original!
[Arthur:] Ho! Ho! Ho!
[Paula:] Ho! Ho!
[Paul:] Can I have a little bit?
[Arthur:] No.
[Paul:] Just at the bottom of the bottle?
[Arthur:] No.
[speaker002:] That's a wonderful... you know, when you think of it it is wonderful!
[Paul:] What whisky?
[Arthur:] What you on about?
[speaker002:] No, being able to talk to somebody.
[Arthur:] Oh! I thought you were on about your husband coming out of hospital!
[speaker002:] Whe whe whe whe whe when did father, grandpa said
[Paul:] Was there a pause?
[speaker002:] and they're pouring [LAUGHTER] it in there say well []
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] how much do you want? The go he goes
[Arthur:] Bu bu wha wha wha wo wo
[speaker002:] whe whe whe whe oh when!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER]... You stammer... and they go and pour it!
[Arthur:] Mm, you won't like this Paul! It isn't a nice one actually.
[Paul:] Can't I have a tiny bit?
[Arthur:] No!
[Paul:] Just a drop.
[Arthur:] No you're too young!
[Paul:] Half a tumbler?
[Arthur:] No, you're too young!
[Paul:] Can I have a
[Arthur:] You can ask as much as you like and the answer will be no!
[Paul:] Mum, can I have a
[speaker002:] You know when you're fortunate we're giving them
[Paul:] Can I have
[Paula:] Do you know you were fortunate when you're given wine!
[Paul:] That's about a. Excuse me!
[Arthur:] No, it's not fortunate, not wine!
[speaker002:] When you give them wine.
[Arthur:] No!
[Paul:] I... I'm sorry! I, I, I can't get in!
[speaker002:] Sorry!... We... we didn't reali eh are your shoes filthy Paul?
[Paul:] No. No.
[speaker002:] Take them off! Look at the... carpet!
[Paul:] It's just been moved backwards and forwards!
[Arthur:] It's just the
[speaker002:] Oh is it the pile?
[Arthur:] It's the pile of it, yeah.
[speaker002:] Is that how it goes?
[Arthur:] It's that long. It's a
[speaker002:] how it goes.
[Arthur:] a deep pile. It's like that. Over here will do the same.
[Paula:] It's not, I don't think
[Paul:] Can I Can I have Advocaat then dad?
[Arthur:] Yes.
[Paula:] Yeah, you can have one.
[speaker002:] Ooh an Advocaat's enough!
[Arthur:] What do you want then mother? What would you like? Would you like some of that brandy? Medicinal?
[speaker002:] Cor you
[Arthur:] Mhm. Do you want some medicinal? I'll get you some medicinal.
[speaker002:] Are you, are we allowing for this or
[Arthur:] Oh, you're always allowed medicinal. You be careful! Medicinal.
[Paul:] Not with the egg shell in it, no!
[Arthur:] [shouting] Do you want straight brandy []?
[Paul:] Or Kirschberry
[speaker002:] Kirschberry
[Arthur:] You want the Kirschberry one?
[Paul:] It's nice that Kirschberry one!
[Arthur:] It's nice, yeah.
[Paul:] I'll have a drop of that actually.
[Arthur:] A wee drop!
[Paul:] A drop of Kirsch.
[speaker002:] Aye! I'll be like Geor... Geo George's mother... one year... and his mo... and his mother was in her seventies... he came in says to daddy... ho gosh! So John says well... take a bit with some gin... so George took it
[Arthur:] And she drank it and drank it!
[speaker002:] so
[Arthur:] E'er.
[speaker002:] so she sa she
[Arthur:] It'll do you good! Put hairs on your chest!
[speaker002:] She never, she never drank alcohol at all
[Arthur:] Oh yeah!
[speaker002:] so
[Arthur:] Ha!
[speaker002:] George
[Arthur:] I've met these people before!
[speaker002:] you know
[Arthur:] Oh no!
[speaker002:] she was marvellous
[Arthur:] Yeah. Yeah, yeah Only on doctor's orders
[speaker002:] George... thought
[Arthur:] Don't sa
[speaker002:] and you know, George it you see... so she said... that brandy was very nice
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER] I think I'll have another glass []
[Arthur:] Got a bit of a kick to it!
[speaker002:] but er
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] so he said... so he poured her another one... and she said... I want another glass George so he said
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] and by time she'd drunk about six glasses
[Arthur:] She'd be flat on her back!
[speaker002:] she was i she was [LAUGHTER] shouting
[Arthur:] Yeah.
[speaker002:] so he said they put her to bed and he said it was best Christmas they ever []!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Nice quiet Christmas []!
[speaker002:] [LAUGHTER] That's quite good []! So that was George's
[Arthur:] Get your own mother legless and
[speaker002:] That's it.
[Arthur:] put her in the bedroom and then enjoy the rest of Christmas!
[speaker002:] He said then he, we could carry on with the serious [LAUGHTER] stuff []!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]... And what was that? The whisky?
[speaker002:] Well it's
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]... Don't drink it too quick!
[Paul:] I'm not... I'm just taking a sip...
[speaker002:] And he said another glass George that was real good!
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker002:] Well... that time that I got... cayleyed I didn't realise I
[Arthur:] When did you get
[speaker002:] You want to
[Arthur:] cayleyed
[speaker002:] Well... when
[Arthur:] We're recording now...
[Paula:] Yeah... she's very exhausting, ain't she?
[Arthur:] She's an old lady though
[Paula:] Oh Arthur it's not that
[Arthur:] It is, yes, that's making it worse... she's an old lady
[Paula:] Could you have her to live with you?
[Arthur:] No she'd drive me
[Paula:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] up the wall
[Paula:] I know I've said that and you said oh no I could cope with your mum and
[Arthur:] I thought I could, I thought I could... I really thought I could but oh God... I'd be okay if I could...
[Paula:] You'll never have any life you know
[Arthur:] could go deaf, if I could go selectively deaf, then I'll be alright
[Paula:] You'll never have any life of your own would you?
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Well that's fair enough
[Paula:] I never said she, she, I mean, I think, I blame myself as well I think I was on edge, but everything, everything she questions, you know, like she can't be nice, says no you're not having anything oh she says
[Arthur:] No I think that's just showing interest, that's the questioning that's just showing interest
[Paula:] But then she'll ask you three times... again, three times
[Arthur:] Yeah, that's, that's when it's hard she asks you the same thing again and again and a few minutes later, then half an hour later, then, then you think have you listened [LAUGHTER]
[Paula:] I've told you that, I mean today she was asking, she, she was standing there while I loaded the dishwasher she says I've got to learn how to do it haven't I? I thought oh go away
[Arthur:] What learn how to
[Paula:] and that's how you do it
[Arthur:] She hasn't got one
[Paula:] No but
[Arthur:] She's not going to get one
[Paula:] really, really she with her she had to learn
[Arthur:] Oh I see, yeah, ah, go, she's just, she's just got to have something to do...
[Paula:] Yeah, but anything she does takes her such a long time, I mean like the ironing like
[Arthur:] Well yeah but she is seven seventy isn't she... has it always taken her or has it?
[Paula:] Yes
[Arthur:] It's always taken twice, three times the length of time as anybody else?
[Paula:] but then she'll go upstairs and come down but then she'll go upstairs and come down
[Arthur:] Bit of exercise... keeping herself fit
[Paula:] I wonder if Philip was or wasn't
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paula:] I wonder if Philip was or wasn't
[Arthur:] You wonder if Philip was what?
[Paula:] purely that he was really just
[Arthur:] Oh I think it was psychological that...
[Paula:] if it was he's in a bad way int he?
[Arthur:] Erm, well what your mum and dad said to me is that he gets very worried, het up, really tensed about doing things, that's going, you know, things that are gonna happen, like just driving down to a different place, er and he get's himse himself so het up, so worried, he makes himself ill, I think that's what's happened
[Paula:] And as soon as he got home the pressure was off
[Arthur:] The pressure was off and he was fine and he was... he was his normal self... and that's what happens each time
[Paula:] Yeah cos if it was as bad as he said it was, I mean he would only stand up for one or two hours at a time, whereas he'd been up since nine, he was still sitting up at one o'clock when I arrived there
[Arthur:] Yeah, he made a miraculous recovery today... and I think that seems to point or to confirm what your, what your mum and dad was saying...
[Paula:] Well that sort of problem will only get worse
[Arthur:] Yeah I'm afraid so, I think it's compounded by the fact that your, what your dad says sums it up beautifully about your mum, I was talking to him about, you know, what does she, what she's got in her life other than what she ever had other than a home, working and so on, has she got any hobbies at home or does she do anything is there anything that takes her mind off things
[Paula:] Yeah, but she still has Philip
[Arthur:] and he says no she hasn't, she, her hobby is Philip
[Paula:] but as soon as Philip can't do what she wants him to do I E run to the door
[Arthur:] Then she turns on him
[Paula:] then she turns on him
[Arthur:] then she turns on him, yes
[Paula:] I mean I hate the way she stands behind somebody mouths and
[Arthur:] Mimics
[Paula:] mimics them and that, oh I hate that, I hate that... as I say a few times I thought to myself I do not like
[Arthur:] You are my mother [LAUGHTER]
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] the Germans are out are they?... Must get better a few people are walking about... very, very
[Paula:] how many miles have we done? What's the tachometer?
[Arthur:] Seven four three
[Paula:] We've done seventeen thousand
[Arthur:] We've got seventeen thousand
[Paula:] Seventeen hundred
[Arthur:] forty three miles
[Paula:] this month
[Arthur:] Since when?
[Paula:] This month, we did one thousand in January, one thousand and four in January...
[Arthur:] I, er, shows you, that's in this month?
[Paula:] In this month, mind you we've used this one most... Today she was saying, hadn't Tony decided which school he was going to and then she started which school should he go to, will you have to pay? Well won't it take him a lot longer than going to Cramley? And, and I thought we had this conversation two weeks ago
[Arthur:] With her
[Paula:] Yes about when he was deciding
[Arthur:] Mm
[Paula:] well why and why not, oh shut up I don't
[Arthur:] Do you know when we came back from last year when Jimmy and Anna
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] yeah and we went round, you know we went round the with them
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] went to Coventry
[Paula:] Mm
[Arthur:] yeah, when we came back, did we see your mum and dad and Philip when we came back from that?
[Paula:] Yes
[Arthur:] Did we talk about where we'd been and what we'd done, what we'd seen and what had happened?
[Paula:] In Romania?
[Arthur:] No here
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Yeah
[Paula:] Why?
[Arthur:] Well today we were behind a G registration Jag and I turned to Paul and I said oh maybe that's one of the Jaguars we saw being built in Coventry and I said no, no, no, corrected myself, I said couldn't of been
[Paula:] G reg
[Arthur:] because it would have to of been H reg wouldn't it?... And then she said oh, have you seen Jaguars being made? I thought yeah, last year, don't you remember? No, why did you go to Cadburys? [LAUGHTER] And then it was oh we didn't, you know, you had a free sample at Cadburys, oh, I said we got a free sample from Jaguar, we got some walnut veneer which is, I suppose, half Cadburys no, oh I said well do do don't you remember we went to Massey Fergusons as well did you arrange it yourself? Oh [LAUGHTER] God... I thought ya, ya, ya, ya, ya
[Paula:] She's partly dementia
[Arthur:] She could be, actually she could be going
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] started to go
[Paula:] Senile
[Arthur:] She could be...
[Paula:] Yeah but if she is she's
[Arthur:] She's a bit young for that though
[Paula:] No, but if she is, she's, she's been going that way a long time.
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]
[Paula:] Oh we're horrible
[Arthur:] No I think the mother-in-law jokes are right... she's a cracker... hope it isn't too busy in here...
[Paula:] Oh well [yawning] pop over one night after school [] just one night this week and that's it, just pop over and
[Arthur:] You'll end up shopping then
[Paula:] No I won't
[Arthur:] It will... you'll end up going shopping...
[Paula:] she had her chance today
[Arthur:] Well do, do you want me to put a five pound bet on that? Eh? Will you bet me?
[Paula:] I reckon Philip will be capable don't you?
[Arthur:] No, yes, but I think you'll end up going shopping just to get out the house
[Paula:] Yeah maybe father'll say take her out, take her out
[Arthur:] Take her out, take her out yeah
[Paula:] get rid of her
[Arthur:] Okay, let's see if we can find a parking spot, here, it'll do nicely, or there or there, no there's not one there
[Paula:] No there isn't one in there, there's one up here
[Arthur:] Do that one, bit worried about that computer in the back you know
[Paula:] Yes, I think I'd of taken it back...
[Arthur:] There we are
[Paula:] There we are
[Arthur:] Right, let's away, I think we're just
[Paula:] I wanted to get a cardigan for school the other day and cos I want to come out of thick woollies now it is March...
[Arthur:] Yeah...
[Paula:] Have a look in here and see if they've got any...
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paula:] I want a cardigan for school
[Arthur:] Yeah you just said... have they got a sale on?... Nothing there
[Paula:] Mm
[Arthur:] no... what you looking for, what type?
[Paula:] Just a plain cardigan man's
[Arthur:] Plain colour
[Paula:] a couple of man's, I've got a black and white man
[Arthur:] Light to mid weight
[Paula:] Yeah, but erm...
[Arthur:] It looks as though you're gonna be a bit unlucky, wait a minute, oh no, no... [singing] I'm a wanderer, do, do, do, do [] no that's your lot Paula... I wonder if they've got any more of those decent... knives, those Kitchen Devils
[Paula:] We've got two, erm, we don't need any more
[Arthur:] How much are these now?
[Paula:] Well what
[Arthur:] It isn't a case of... wanting them... they're such good knives you don't get them at that price, too often... right can we just have a look at the price of microwaves, while we're here pardon?
[Paula:] If you want one prefer one with conventional oven
[Arthur:] Oh sure, no she doesn't need one, she won't be able to use it... ninety four pounds
[Paula:] That's all she wants, here you are
[Arthur:] Ah it's got a cheap, cheap interior, no it's too
[Paula:] But that's an oven as well
[Arthur:] Sanyo, it's even buy British... Have you found anything?
[Paula:] A Wrangler T-shirt for Paul
[Arthur:] T-shirts, what for Paul?
[Paula:] I wonder if he'll have one of those?
[Arthur:] Blue he wants, doesn't he?
[Paula:] Medium
[Arthur:] Well if he doesn't like it Tony'll wear it... get one of, Paula get one of those, one of these... made in Sri Lanka
[Paula:] I'm only getting one
[Arthur:] Oh get, get this, too, doesn't matter, oh Tony'll wear it
[Paula:] Tony won't wear it with Wrangler on the front
[Arthur:] He will... I will if he doesn't
[Paula:] They're the wrong size for you
[Arthur:] Medium
[Paula:] bring it back, I wouldn't get a white one
[Arthur:] Why not?
[Paula:] Because he, Paul gets them filthy...
[Arthur:] There are, one of these... large
[Paula:] Medium
[Arthur:] I'll have one as well for that price... reduced to clear, what's that?
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] Have you got any more of your compact discs? No the, they're the cheap ones, what you looking for?
[Paula:] Them
[Arthur:] oh this handy box, oh yes... are they the same price as before?
[Paula:] They were cheaper before weren't they?
[Arthur:] I thought they were, but could be wrong, how many do you want?
[Paula:] A couple of
[Arthur:] just one?
[Paula:] Two... just right for boxes though
[Arthur:] Mm...
[Paula:] He'd wear his
[Arthur:] Where what was?
[Paula:] all starts now
[Arthur:] Oh the... your shopping starts here... What do we need? Binliners... you're okay for erm, what you call it? Clingfilm
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] might as but no, use that erm bottle stuff we've got, we dilute, it's supposed to be good stuff, you're suppose to get the same quality out of it as, out of that and it's cheaper... we okay for glasses?
[Paula:] Yeah, I bought some the other day
[Arthur:] Yeah, I know you did, but, we okay
[Paula:] Mm
[Arthur:] have you seen this? An old, it looks like an old style... take it on to the Antiques Road Show...
[Paula:] Should of bought the gas bottle
[Arthur:] Have you got one that's running out?
[Paula:] I thought you said it was
[Arthur:] no, I said it was running out, have you one that's run out then?... Pardon
[Paula:] I thought that was the second one
[Arthur:] So erm, if we run out, we run out... Which whisky did you get?
[Paula:] Bells
[Arthur:] What, bottle of Bells, ah, oh you go
[Paula:] Two, two bottles of wine
[Arthur:] Did you get it from here?
[Paula:] No from that
[Arthur:] From where?
[Paula:] you know those shops near
[Arthur:] Oh near the hospital, yeah, and you got parked in there?
[Paula:] If you go behind the bank
[Arthur:] Why wants some
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] Here we are, what do you need?... What shampoo?... Wash and Go...
[Paula:] Tissues, box of tissues...
[Arthur:] Don't lean on it make you go to sleep
[Paula:] no I'm not leaning, you rotten devil
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER]... It looks like a bomb has hit it here
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] I don't think we need anything else out of here do we?
[Paula:] No
[Arthur:] No...
[Paula:] Oh white
[Arthur:] pardon?
[Paula:] White
[Arthur:] they can see it, but... there's two different types... we'll try that one though how much is this?
[Paula:] Two and five
[Arthur:] God that brings back memories let's seal it, now you want some goats cheese with that, that's what you'll need, lying on the beach at midnight going to sleep in your sleeping bag, with a bottle of that and your goats cheese
[Paula:] We're going away in October by the way
[Arthur:] Are we? Where we going to?
[Paula:] We're going to go down to the travel agents
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] Famous last words
[Paula:] and we're gonna
[Arthur:] he'll be back in hospital...
[Paula:] and we're gonna say, where's the cheapest place you can go
[Arthur:] Here are Paula, it's better stuff
[Paula:] I don't think they're all that keen on that one
[Arthur:] It's good for you
[Paula:] and we're gonna say where's the cheapest place you can go?
[Arthur:] They'll say home
[Paula:] And we're having a week
[Arthur:] We'll have a week at home then, cheapest place you can go, I tell you where you can go that's really good, your mum's, have a week with your mother... nervous wreck by the sea...
[Paula:] But we are
[Arthur:] Do we need washing powder?
[Paula:] No
[Arthur:] What about erm, oven top cleaner? Got it, yeah... oh...
[Paula:] because with a bit of luck Tony wants to know
[Arthur:] ah I think he might find he will be
[Paula:] Are we alright for, yeah
[Arthur:] Yes we're alright, er salt, are we okay for salt?
[Paula:] I don't know...
[Arthur:] I haven't bought any recently...
[Paula:] Are you pleased that he's chosen er Northgate?... Which one were you hoping to choose?
[Arthur:] Facilities Northgate, I thought the people at Stowmarket at Stow Utland were on the par with the others, you know you can get, you can easily be convinced that the place is good because of it
[Paula:] Well this is it
[Arthur:] because of the look of it, when in fact that's only part of it... it depends whether he's gonna be motivated there, they mo it's not gonna need much motivation but if people are interested in you for what you are like, like they have been, yeah, and he's experienced all, he's been somebody special there hasn't he?
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Yeah, and if he becomes just an auto run it could just knock him back a bit, one of the crowd, you know, just another one...
[Paula:] Do you think that's likely to happen?
[Arthur:] Er, I hope I don't think I don't think it will, but I'm sure it wouldn't do at the other two places
[Paula:] Ah, so which one were you hoping he'd gone for?
[Arthur:] I was hop I hadn't, I hadn't really made up my mind... that's plenty biscuits Paula, yeah it's plent don't get, biscuit mania, Easter eggs, God
[Paula:] Oh, do you want a Cadbury's Creme Egg?
[Arthur:] No I don't... when is Easter, it's late isn't it?
[Paula:] It's ages, ages
[Arthur:] April, it's another six weeks yet isn't it?
[Paula:] Yeah...
[Arthur:] What you looking for? Anything special?
[Paula:] What do you want?
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paula:] What do you want? Oh let's have a Crunchie... you
[Arthur:] Nothing... [yawning] oh dear []
[Paula:] erm
[Arthur:] No
[Paula:] Northgate
[Arthur:] no I think it's the speciality is that, in him and how he reacts with people, it isn't you know just what he's good at or not good at...
[Paula:] You don't think he'll be er...
[Arthur:] Don't think he'll what?...
[Paula:] you know got enough to go to university, things like that to of been top dog all your school life, it might do you good not to be
[Arthur:] Yeah, but it depends what, how it takes, what form it takes... if he's... if it's sort of their others are of similar ability, okay, but if it's because, if people don't take any notice of him because of
[Paula:] Oh yeah, mm, mm
[Arthur:] no just because of they're that type, they don't take any notice of anybody
[Paula:] Yeah, yeah... but you think that, that'll happen at Northgate?
[Arthur:] you know, don't take an interest in them as people
[Paula:] Think that could happen at Northgate?
[Arthur:] I think that could happen anywhere, but
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] but
[Paula:] It does have implications mind you for Paul, cos where's Paul gonna go?
[Arthur:] No it doesn't, he, he doesn't have to follow his brother's footsteps
[Paula:] No
[Arthur:] he's got to be his own person he's got to be himself, for, yeah selfish it's been easier for us for transport problem, if Paul decides to go somewhere else I think you've got to give 'em them freedom to do it, freedom of choice
[Paula:] Oh where Nathan goes
[Arthur:] Really, so Paul is in, hasn't got freedom then?
[Paula:] He's been with him since primary school, it'll be nice to go to, cos they're going off to America when they've finished
[Arthur:] Is that right?
[Paula:] [LAUGHTER]
[Arthur:] Is that what Paul said?
[Paula:] Paul's gonna bum around for a year I reckon
[Arthur:] Good, it'll do him good I think, I think he needs to do it [LAUGHTER] No I just think he needs to do it
[Paula:] Oh he might never settle down
[Arthur:] He, he just might grow up a little bit
[Paula:] cotton wool, Tony
[Arthur:] oh yes, which ones
[Paula:] I don't know which ones they like
[Arthur:] There's, there's one of these beef and tomato I think, I seem to recognize that
[speaker003:] ...
[Paula:] Yeah it might as you say with Paul but I'd be more worried about Paul bombing around every year than Tony
[Arthur:] I'd be more worried about Tony, cos I don't think Tony's as well wise as Paul is, in some ways... really for both of them it wouldn't do them any harm you know because look, they're, they're, they're not typical lads in many ways which I... they're not typical lads in many ways are they?
[Paula:] I'd rather they'd university than before
[Arthur:] you know I rather did it before because if you do it after that's when the job situation becomes a bit of problem, look at John, look what's happening there
[Paula:] You can't blame John, he didn't want a job, he can't turn round now and say he's got the wrong degree, he didn't want a job...
[Arthur:] Don't know, I've never spoken to him at all, don't know
[Paula:] He didn't want a job that's what he had said he wanted to have time out he didn't want a job he could get a job when he wanted to, he can't now turn round and blame it on
[Arthur:] The degree
[Paula:] the degree...
[Arthur:] [sighing] Oh God [] do you want some toast then?
[Paula:] No
[Arthur:] I'm gonna get some healthy bread... any blackcurrant pies?
[Paula:] I've not got them down love
[Arthur:] Why is it that you have everything but, there you are, there you are... they're cheap too aren't they?
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Shall I get two lots?... yes, yeah... have you much bread in the freezer Paula?
[Paula:] Tony wanted to know what
[Arthur:] Paula have you much bread in the freezer?
[Paula:] waffles, what are these? Doughnut waffles
[Arthur:] It's the way they're made, no that's we'll, that is heart attack time, that is
[Paula:] That's not waffle love that, that's not
[Arthur:] no, erm... Paula you can get them in the frozen food section love
[Paula:] Yeah I know you can
[Arthur:] I've seen them down there... have a big bone through that, have they, looks as if that's been boned
[Paula:] There's your bone
[Arthur:] Oh there's your bone, what about that one leg, boneless, four fifty nine I'll just have pies
[Paula:] Actually a lot of the convenience stuff's been eaten and the
[Arthur:] Fair enough they needed eating
[Paula:] Yeah...
[Arthur:] Oh
[Paula:] most of it's gone
[Arthur:] Pardon, most of it's gone who's been eating it?... Well I know somebody's left it behind, do you want it?
[Paula:] That's right
[Arthur:] Yeah... you're welcome... that's it
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] [singing] de, de, umbrella []
[Paula:] Pancake day
[Arthur:] Don't forget
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] I ate a lot of them, but they've gone off, they'd really had
[Paula:] These are seventy nine
[Arthur:] Which? These look, well, these look a better bunch, get one of those, I'll get one of these
[Paula:] One of these?
[Arthur:] Yeah well get one of those, I'll get, one of these, they look pretty good..., mm lovely bunch of grapes those, oh yes, oh yes... what are these plums? They're a bit hard aren't they?
[Paula:] They are really they're
[Arthur:] well do you want some that are a bit hard?
[Paula:] No...
[Arthur:] Do you want any salad? pardon? Paula
[Paula:] What?
[Arthur:] do you want any salad?... [singing] Young gifted and black, do, do, do [] are we okay for potatoes?
[Paula:] Yeah we're alright
[Arthur:] Ah, do you want any swede?
[Paula:] Swede?
[Arthur:] Not swede, parsnips sorry, miles away there, parsnips do you want any? Pardon?
[Paula:] No...
[Arthur:] Anything else?
[Paula:] Carrots...
[Arthur:] [humming] [singing] Any umbrellas to buy today... umbrellas, singing do a do, do, a [] is that it?
[Paula:] Yes, apples...
[Arthur:] [humming] They look nice these Cox's
[Paula:] The skin on them, they don't eat them
[Arthur:] beautiful apples though Paula... right what frozen stuff do we want?... It's a bit really
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] have they got the, the other pies that we have, this is it... how about one with ham in it?
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Haven't got it have they?... Is that okay?... They're the potato waffles
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] that she was talking about...
[Paula:] Go on, let him try one
[Arthur:] Which is cheaper? The four or the fourteen?
[Paula:] The four
[Arthur:] Well I don't know they may not be, won't pay five pounds... eight, fours, twelve... maybe... cheaper by about thirty P a box if you do it that way.
[Paula:] What we having for tea?
[Arthur:] Tonight?
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Have that ham
[Paula:] Oh
[Arthur:] the you know what's gonna happen
[Paula:] Every time I don't
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] yeah
[Paula:] we buy ham
[Arthur:] We're okay for ice cream
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] What about veg, frozen veg?
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Yes we're okay or yes we want some?
[Paula:] No we're okay...
[Arthur:] Is there anything else or is that it?...
[Paula:] We ain't got one in the fridge
[Arthur:] What's that?
[Paula:] in the freezer
[Arthur:] Blackcurrant torte, blackcurrant torte, have we ever had one before?
[Paula:] No
[Arthur:] Do you want an apple bar? They're nice that, with a bit of cream, that'll do Paula... Paula come on now this one's free That'll keep us going... biscuits, I go to the end... Here I'll take them... I'll do the tins... is that it Paula?... I'll do these bottles as well then... oops...
[speaker003:] That's a hundred and six pounds, eighty one
[Arthur:] Ooh
[Paula:] I just said is that all we've got?
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER] You don't get much
[Arthur:] It soon goes... a hundred and six pounds, God
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] Ten Air Miles, we'll get to Paris one day
[Paula:] There's two of us
[Arthur:] One of us, we won't get that...
[Paula:] How far is Paris?
[Arthur:] From Gatwick?... I dunno maybe three hundred miles
[Paula:] Three hundred miles?
[Arthur:] How many have you got so far?... Dunno...
[Paula:] Thank you
[Arthur:] You're in the way Paula...
[Paula:] A lot of money for what we've got
[Arthur:] Just check that, make sure you've got no doubles going through
[speaker003:] ...
[Paula:] no...
[Arthur:] Anything?...
[Paula:] We got, we got quite a lot of meat
[Arthur:] Yeah, even so a hundred and six pounds is a lot of money, when did you last come shopping?
[Paula:] Our three pound, fifty
[Arthur:] Yeah... how much did those two boxes cost?
[Paula:] Haven't got that far yet... two ninety nine each
[Arthur:] Three pounds each, six pounds
[Paula:] Fifteen pound on T-shirts
[Arthur:] Ah, yeah, yeah, so, you take that off, you take the six off for those boxes that's a hundred, take fifteen off for the t-shirts, you're talking eighty five pounds then.
[Paula:] You know, you know you carry forward, you know say I've got, I've got about now, about six thousand carry forward as me trigger money
[Arthur:] Mm, mm
[Paula:] can I put that in next year's budget?
[Arthur:] Yeah, because it's money for you to spend
[Paula:] I don't want to put it in me deposit you see, I want to put it in my next year's commitment
[Arthur:] Whatever money's left over that's not been committed by you, if they find that they've got fifteen hundred say, that's not been committed by you at the end of the financial year, that will automatically go into deposit
[Paula:] Well I want to commit, I reckon the, the change over I'm having in is gonna cost me about four thousand
[Arthur:] And were you getting that four thousand from last year's, this year's money?
[Paula:] This year's, no this year's trigger money
[Arthur:] This year's trigger
[Paula:] this year's trigger money
[Arthur:] Ah
[Paula:] so I just want to carry that over
[Arthur:] Yeah
[Paula:] earmarked for alterations to Pauline's guttering
[Arthur:] Yeah
[Paula:] and then I'll only have to carry forward of about three thousand, plus me twelve thousand deposit...
[Arthur:] So they'll have fifteen thousand on deposit
[Paula:] Mm
[Arthur:] Ooh
[Paula:] I reckon I'll be using some of that, I'm, I'm gonna use I've got less than you
[Arthur:] But, hold on
[Paula:] and now, I've got more expensive staff than you.
[Arthur:] Yeah, but, er, I've got six thousand carried forward from last year, okay you've got twelve they've got six
[Paula:] Pass it over
[Arthur:] yeah, see what I mean, and this year, the budget
[Paula:] Which?
[Arthur:] I've got this year it's all accounted for, I can't take anything out of it
[Paula:] Well I think I'm in a position
[Arthur:] and, and put it to and put it into a deposit, you know this, this building I want, at the back, there's, there's nothing there, pardon?
[Paula:] Oh I should of shown you me car you would of been impressed
[Arthur:] Well, yeah, there's plenty of time, I don't think sort of, it's not a magic one is it? Is it gonna fly?
[Paula:] Oh, there's one corner of it sticking up
[Arthur:] Oh no
[Paula:] that wants er, just put it on the seats
[Arthur:] Well just, I put it under here as well bring them back if it's sticking up
[Paula:] Oh I am gonna do
[Arthur:] hold on, let's put this box in first, let's get this out, right...
[Paula:] You don't want heavy things do ya?
[Arthur:] No
[Paula:] No these are heavy
[Arthur:] that's light... the rest I'll have to
[Paula:] these are heavy
[Arthur:] there are, all that lot'll have to go onto the seats, mind your fingers... can you go down there, open that door... no you'll have to come this side, I'll have to pass them through to you... okay... on the floor Paula might be bet the heavier stuff, then if it does fall off it's not going to... make a mess...
[Paula:] This one?...
[Arthur:] see that's gonna, see what I mean, as we go along that'll fall on the floor that, you'll have it all over the place, put it away... okay, get some petrol now on the way...
[Paula:] last year, weren't it?
[Arthur:] Yes, that's because of the floor area
[Paula:] And your numbers of, and, what you, how many kids have you got?
[Arthur:] At the moment?
[Paula:] January number
[Arthur:] Sixty seven
[Paula:] Yeah you see I've only got fifty two and I've got eight hundred quid less than you
[Arthur:] Crazy innit?
[Paula:] Yeah, but I've still got three
[Arthur:] but the implication, the big your biggest charge on the school is the staff
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] that's why it's crazy you see it, oh, it doesn't make sense that so much emphasis is put on floor area... if er less emphasis is put on floor area and more on children
[Paula:] three, top of the scale you see
[Arthur:] Er, yeah, but there's a heck of an
[Paula:] I'm gonna be really pushed
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] because it, the biggest cost us teachers... and the number of teachers you need is governed by the number of
[Paula:] Children
[Arthur:] children you have
[Paula:] Except the twenty five, fifty two in two classes
[Arthur:] I'm not, I'm not saying that you should have any
[Paula:] is not good
[Arthur:] I, I don't think you should have any less money, I'm saying that we should have more, we are, we're losing out
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] you're not gaining it's
[Paula:] No
[Arthur:] it's us that are losing out
[Paula:] we're better than you...
[Arthur:] there should be more emphasis on, on number of children... that was lucky, it's on this side isn't it?
[Paula:] My side
[Arthur:] Your side the erm cap, petrol cap... are we paying by Access?
[Paula:] Mm
[Arthur:] Oh I thought that was your, that was one of the teachers at the course there... The trigger on that gun went at fifteen pounds, er just about sixteen, I've got the card here okay
[Paula:] Have you got mine?
[Arthur:] no I've got my own
[Paula:] Oh I, I've just put mine
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] thank you... it's cooling down a bit now, it's been a gorgeous day though, that sun
[Paula:] Mother thinks it was you
[Arthur:] five o'clock
[Paula:] she see driving along, yes it's light now
[Arthur:] Thank you
[Paula:] When do the clocks go, alter?
[Arthur:] March thank you... thanks a lot, thanks
[Paula:] Oh I know what you can have, you can have waffles and that can't ya?
[Arthur:] Can have what?
[Paula:] Those waffles and
[Arthur:] With the ham, yeah
[Paula:] Mm, please Tony he wanted to try them know what they're
[Arthur:] he can try them now
[Paula:] Yeah that's what we'll have for tea waffles and ham and can have a bottle of wine, [LAUGHTER] I'm still on my antibiotics []
[Arthur:] When do you come off your antibiotics?
[Paula:] Tomorrow
[Arthur:] Tomorrow, you finish them tomorrow, completely?... Bet you're pleased with that?
[Paula:] Can I have a
[Arthur:] Yeah
[Paula:] pot of... tea?
[Arthur:] How do you feel now, how's that?
[Paula:] Oh it's still tight
[Arthur:] Really, are you gonna carry on taking the those red bombers
[Paula:] How many am I down to?
[Arthur:] that he's given you?
[Paula:] What am I down to, eight Tuesday, eight, seven
[Arthur:] Seven
[Paula:] six, five, four left then
[Arthur:] Oh you've had today's?
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] So it's three tomorrow... you know we've got away with this winter
[Paula:] Oh another, I can't remember such a good winter
[Arthur:] Yeah we had, er that cold snap before Christmas and was it November?
[Paula:] Yeah, but we haven't
[Arthur:] And we've had one or two cold snaps, little cold snaps
[Paula:] Yes, but we haven't had any frost, ice
[Arthur:] hadn't real we've had the frost of we have
[Paula:] Yeah, but there's been, I think there's been one warning when
[Arthur:] we haven't had the bad weather, we haven't had the fogs that
[Paula:] it was icy going to school
[Arthur:] we haven't had the fogs that other people have had
[Paula:] They've had it worse in other parts of the country
[Arthur:] we've done very well for escaping it, the only trouble is we haven't got the rain and now, this, this coming summer I dread to think what's gonna happen, look how dry those fields are, just look at it... if we get a wind up, if we, a wind starts to blow it'll move a lot of this, it will just lift it up into the air, we'll get clouds of soil blowing all over the place. We won't, we won't have snow drifts we'll have soil, soil drifts, as daft as that, God where is all this traffic coming from? Oh, yo, yo, yo, yo... if he pulls up he's, he's a goner, ah, pull off there, the bus got off, has he?
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] Now right up his backside
[speaker003:] ...
[Paula:] Father was very quiet though you know.
[Arthur:] Was it because he was tired?
[Paula:] Oh
[Arthur:] washed out... he very quickly got tired, you remember in hospital, he quickly got tired and if he laid down he quickly seemed to get his energy back, he'd come back and be
[Paula:] You think it is the beginning of the erm
[Arthur:] [sigh] God I hope not... but it is a reaction obviously er to the radiation treatment... but
[Paula:] But
[Arthur:] it's the amount of tiredness that is cu you know he's showing and, and his speed into tiredness and then his recovery from it, that's unusual that he could be
[Paula:] He's on tablets that are, er what's it, what were they called? Erm
[Arthur:] Well he's on six lots isn't he?
[Paula:] Yeah, well one lot of tablets were, was, they weren't for relaxing tablets but they were called... er
[Arthur:] What?
[Paula:] I can't remember
[Arthur:] What, designed to do what then?
[Paula:] Relax
[Arthur:] To relax him
[Paula:] Mm, relax and... that will be to slow him down though
[Arthur:] Ah, yeah, maybe
[Paula:] He's on relaxants
[Arthur:] Looks as though Ipswich have won
[Paula:] Hmm
[Arthur:] all the scarfs are flying
[Paula:] not necessarily
[Arthur:] Well they usually don't fly when, when they've got beaten, let's see what's on... there we are
[Paula:] [yawn] [radio on]
[Arthur:] That's division three... division three this... West Brom
[speaker003:] [radio on]
[Paula:] nil
[Arthur:] [LAUGHTER] One week, what he wants to do is to change it round...
[Paula:] Nil
[Arthur:] Nil... seven away, scored seven away... four, three... he said down here didn't he that lad?
[Paula:] Yes
[Arthur:] So what's, when you say he's when you say he's got erm, he's going to Saint Paul's as a pupil?
[Paula:] Choir school, he voice
[Arthur:] He must have a good voice then
[Paula:] Yeah he
[Arthur:] he's blossomed since you've been there
[Paula:] she, she wanted him to, the psychologist saw him cos he was
[Arthur:] Oh... do you think Anna would of, I hope she's doing something like this
[Paula:] I hope she's doing something
[Arthur:] Pardon?
[Paula:] I hope she's doing something...
[Arthur:] If she's er... if she's sorted a village out, that'll be great
[Paula:] Mm...
[Arthur:] say, sort out erm a school
[Paula:] We said a village with a school in it
[Arthur:] With a school, yeah... we could be asking too much you know
[Paula:] Mm
[Arthur:] with that
[Paula:] I don't think so
[Arthur:] You don't think so?
[Paula:] No, she'll thrive on it, well if she can't do it then we can't do it
[Arthur:] That's right
[Paula:] No and I don't think you'll get away doing it any other way, mm, not with all the new, if these new restrictions are coming in, I must
[Arthur:] Yeah
[Paula:] ring up tomorrow
[Arthur:] What about the Hungarians, you know that thing about the
[Paula:] I'm going to ring up tomorrow
[Arthur:] Who you going to ring Romanian Relief?
[Paula:] Southampton, Southampton
[Arthur:] Is it only office hours?
[Paula:] Mm...
[Arthur:] Does er... we need to know things like that and if you
[Paula:] I still question whether we'll go
[Arthur:] Why?
[Paula:] if there are problems
[Arthur:] If these are the problems
[Paula:] Mm
[Arthur:] or not
[Paula:] Oh have you got that on?
[Arthur:] Mm, doesn't matter
[Paula:] If there are the problems of taxes and...
[Arthur:] taxes?
[Paula:] Mm
[Arthur:] That's why I don't, well if the Hungarians are gonna charge... is it two thousand pounds or something?
[Paula:] Mm
[Arthur:] If they go and charge that we we can't afford that
[Paula:] Well no you get it back supposedly
[Arthur:] Yeah, but if you get it back in funds... well that's no use to you is it? Who's gonna take two thousand pounds worth of pounds out of Hungary? Who?
[Paula:] I don't know yet
[Arthur:] Nobody in their right mind, do you remember that, were you there when that guy from Kuwait
[Paula:] Mm, mm
[Arthur:] tried to change
[Paula:] Mm
[Arthur:] his foreign and done it, done it all legally at the hotel and so on
[Paula:] Yeah
[Arthur:] and the state he was in and they didn't want to know did they?... They more or less called him a fool when he tried to change back into whatever it was... our current whatever it was... and if that's the case erm... Hungar Hungarians are holding on to this two thousand pound, it's surety isn't it?
[Paula:] Mm...
[Arthur:] You'd be stoned dead
[Paula:] and it's if they're taxing on the border
[Arthur:] well, well that's what it is but if you can get into Romania
[Paula:] Into Romania as well you're being double blowed
[Arthur:] I can't see that honestly I just, I just
[Paula:] I can
[Arthur:] can't see them
[Paula:] I can...
[Arthur:] seeing it as an import so they're taxing imports
[Paula:] Mm, yeah...
[Arthur:] I think... I wouldn't of thought they'd be so thick skinned as to turn away help, that so much help, I just can't see it
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] They've had, not just from Britain they've had help, they've had it from all over Europe and it's still
[Paula:] Yeah, but
[Arthur:] it's still going in, the media's involved in it as well, I would of thought people like Anneke Rice would of picked that up... Are you going to try her again
[Paula:] Yeah, I'm trying to get this ready for tomorrow, I'm just...
[Arthur:] Well it's, it's gonna be very late there, you'll be getting her out of bed if you're not careful... I know she says it doesn't mind, she, she doesn't mind it doesn't matter, but... [sigh] oh dear, there's a piece here in the newspaper did you see that?
[Paula:] Yeah...
[Arthur:] Mrs have you heard of her?
[Paula:] I read it
[Arthur:] Have you heard of her?
[Paula:] No
[Arthur:] No I don't, she's obviously been before or been involved with it before... What time does Tony want picking up?
[Paula:] About twenty past the same route
[Arthur:] Same as Paul
[Paula:] Mm
[Arthur:] Right... mm... wonder which way this paper's going to go, on the election, there's a piece here about title that [reading] that's no way to treat a lady [] no, I think it's all to do with, yeah it looks like
[speaker003:] ...
[Arthur:] An Access card had been found at a meeting of the Liberal Democrats for Eastern Region contracts, and, M S Sue Sutton, who was a candidate for South West Hampstead they've found, and the paper says [reading] the grey haired woman who to collect the card but did Ms Sutton gracefully rise from her seat to hand it to her, no, she tossed it over the rim of the platform onto the floor below leaving the poor woman to scrabble around for several minutes looking for it [] and the, and the punch line is [reading] a little later an embarrassed Ms Sutton is contesting Cambridgeshire South West for the Lib Dems at the general election, apologised for her cavalier behaviour, let us hope she learnt from the experience [] yeah
[Paula:] Mm
[Arthur:] now what on earth has that got to do with a policy of a political party, the way somebody handles a lost Access card I wonder, mm?... No way...