[Chris:] It's the best thing of course so... It's a very weird thing to be doing really isn't it?
[Norrine:] You can leave it there if you want even though it's the ladies
[Chris:] Yeah. Thank you
[Norrine:] club house just to the left.
[Chris:] Right. There's certainly a fancy er club house there isn't it? What's what's this fancy building here David? Squash.
[Norrine:] Oh! Is it? Right. Ah ha.
[Chris:] ... why we can't get on there, on the door Yes... fine.
[Norrine:] Yes there's quite a... lay out in the main building.
[Chris:] Right
[Norrine:] Croquet and squash. Bowls down the side
[Chris:] Oh yes.
[Norrine:] It used to be about the best bowling green in the in this part of the country.
[Chris:] Did it really? Yes. Only the one tennis court?
[Norrine:] No there's one there there's one here.
[Chris:] Oh yes.
[Norrine:] Over there that's... behind me that's...
[Chris:] Oh yes, yes.
[Norrine:] I am not sure whether it's those certainly where you can see the right players. Eileen's husband is the leading light in the bowls.
[Chris:] Oh is he? Really? And is that ah er another cricket team altogether or what? Club altogether?
[Norrine:] That's another club. Yes. This is the club
[Chris:] Right. Yes.
[Norrine:] I think he he had a heart attack recently. I think he is off of it now but I think he must be quite a leading light
[Chris:] Yes yes.
[Norrine:] speak to David Brian.
[Chris:] Oh was he? [LAUGHTER] Yes. Oh! Oh! Yes yes indeed. Now, now I'm there and there aren't I?
[Norrine:] Now if you were using this this is what we would do. It's probably erm, yeah I think you'd probably have a shot at your yellow. Doesn't matter if you go off because you could come up behind it.
[Chris:] Mm. Mm And it once
[Norrine:] Yes yes. Fine.
[Chris:] Lynda wasn't here yesterday when er... out. Sorry?
[Norrine:] You'll have to warn her about it.
[Chris:] Well I don't think it actually needs warning about. Well I believe it does. I think it inhibits some people but... she will explain. You saw the sheet didn't you?
[Norrine:] Well I didn't really look.
[Chris:] It's irritating cos the clip won't go on the shirt.
[Norrine:] Which clip's that?
[Chris:] Well this microphone clip shirt.
[Norrine:] Is that the kind they wear on the television?
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Why do you, why doesn't it work then?
[Chris:] Well it's, the shirt just seems to be too fine for it.
[Norrine:] Wear a tough shirt
[Chris:] Yes. Playing a tough game tomorrow.
[Norrine:] What are you playing tomorrow?
[Chris:] Croquet.
[Norrine:] Oh that's Saturday not Sunday is it?
[Chris:] Yes. Very irritating because er... if only I'd approached David earlier as I'd intended to. Previous weekend they had an open day at er Dulwich Croquet Club.... So all were invited to go along.
[Norrine:] You were busy last
[Chris:] Of course I was on Sunday, yes indeed. Indeed indeed indeed.... Yes I couldn't fit in much croquet then could I?... The implication was that it was going to be a bit warmer today wasn't it?
[Norrine:] I think the sun might come out a little later, I don't know about warmer but
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] it's certainly going to be overcast now....
[Chris:] have breakfast?... Thank you.... David and were agreeing last night how much they like the road.
[Norrine:] Made up you mean?
[Chris:] Yes. Yes. But er
[Norrine:] I must say I don't think twice now about opening that window whereas before I only did it... reluctantly because of all the dust.
[Chris:] Because of the dust flying in. Yes, yes.
[Norrine:] Yeah.
[Chris:] She too was saying that she had an urge to go down with her broom and sweep up the these building works.... Right.... I'm gonna have some breakfast, aren't you?
[Norrine:] That's an idea. They started off on grapefruit down there.
[Chris:] Eating it, or
[Norrine:] No no, preparing.
[Chris:] Oh, right. Shall I finish it?
[Norrine:] Yes please.
[Chris:] Oh, god bless our daughter. [crockery noise] Hello dear. I've never seen such dry grapefruit.
[Norrine:] I ought to complain really. It's such, such a time wasting procedure when you've got to... take things back.
[Chris:] Where did they come from?
[Norrine:] Sainsbury's.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] It's the same sort we had before that have been so good. And the last couple of weeks I bought the cheaper ones.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] And that was forty eight pence for one grapefruit because it was pink.
[Chris:] Doesn't even look pink, does it?
[Norrine:] No.
[Chris:] Well I think you complain. I don't think you have to take it back, I didn't take that chicken back to Safeway's if you remember.
[Norrine:] What chicken was that?
[Chris:] The one that smelt....
[Norrine:] Did you complain?
[Chris:] Yes. Don't you remember that?
[Norrine:] I remember the chicken. But I don't remember
[Chris:] Some months ago. I took the label back. Didn't take, didn't bother with the chicken. And she didn't, she scarcely even looked at the label. She took my word for it. Unfortunately because it, it was a special sell today job with a reduction off others I didn't get much money back. And then went and bought another fresh chicken had to pay even more money for it..... Ah. Well it's incredible how little mail, and there's nothing on fax or telex either.
[Norrine:] They're all on holiday perhaps half term.
[Chris:] This is not nice.
[Norrine:] Looks revolting.
[Chris:] Mm. Well.
[Norrine:] Well don't bother, we'll take it back.
[Chris:] Really not good. Extraordinary.... Will you have toast?... Cake?... Sorry, will you have some toast? Did you see that erm letter in the paper the other day about... the, the introduction of sliced bread because there's been a bit of a correspondence about it?
[Norrine:] Yes sixty years ago or something.
[Chris:] Yes. And it's five sixteenths of an inch thick by... ordinary buttering and half an inch thick for toast. And about nineteen twenty eight or something wasn't it?
[Norrine:] I was going to write to Long Tall Sally... can't make up my mind if I should or I shouldn't but it has got those little...
[Chris:] Unfortunately it's got a sort of... general grubbiness to it as well, hasn't it?
[Norrine:] Well.... But that is because it doesn't come white any more when you wash it.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] You can't wash the white.
[Chris:] No, no you can't. Thank you for getting this tomato juice specially from Safeway's....
[Norrine:] When I go on half term I ought to all things. Actually has been rather
[Chris:] What? Just not enough, happening?
[Norrine:] Break.
[Chris:] Enough break yes. That's right.
[Norrine:] organized. Not enough change in your rate.
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Norrine:] I feel clearer in my mind about which is a help. And I don't feel clear of things to do which is very miserable
[Chris:] Well you're not doing your reports till after that time are you?
[Norrine:] No they have to be in by the twenty sixth of June. And the ten days after open day are going to be... mad.
[Chris:] Twenty six days, yes, ten days. You've got sixteen days to do them in in theory.
[Norrine:] Well I won't have really will I if
[Chris:] Is that the earlier day you all complained about?
[Norrine:] three days on. And we asked for an extra... ten days. At the moment we've got three.
[Chris:] Did you get any explanations why it was all required in earlier?
[Norrine:] No. She just feels she wanted the time to do it in her time. calling the tune. As long as you don't do it too often. Don't do it too often just call the tune without justifying it. People get a bit resentful.
[Chris:] Yes.... Do you think that in all schools the head always looked at all the reports?
[Norrine:] ... When I was at school they hadn't signed them. every school signed them.... I suspect Mrs feels she ought to be signing them not the
[Chris:] . That pot's finished now.... What a funny idea this queue down parks isn't it?
[Norrine:] Some people obviously overdo it.
[Chris:] Mm.... Did you see that... thing on television last night?
[Norrine:] got their hats back....
[Chris:] I'm interested there were women mixed in with them. Just the same uniform.
[Norrine:] I didn't notice that.
[Chris:] Look at this lovely picture of this High Commissioner in Sri Lanka who's been booted out in his Morris Minor. Somebody is about to set up
[Norrine:] Who pays?
[Chris:] convertible by the look of it, still. Mm about to set up a factory in Sri Lanka to make Morris Minor parts. To rebuild them....
[Norrine:] Will they find him another job now? What do they do then then?
[Chris:] Well he's employed by the Foreign Office.
[Norrine:] Mm. So will they send him somewhere else?
[Chris:] Probably. Or they'll keep him in London. Sri Lankan desk or something.
[Norrine:] Wonder what happened to.... after Washington.
[Chris:] He'll... probably merge back into the Department of Transport. Might do something else in the environment.
[Norrine:] Oh there was some talk of... going somewhere else.
[Chris:] Oh was there?
[Norrine:] Mm. Well I mean, not an offer but
[Chris:] They would like to. Mm.
[Norrine:] I don't know if, but it's on the cards that one could.
[Chris:] Oh. Roy's idea was that er might get some highly paid job in industry. Aviation or something....
[Norrine:] Are you making more toast?
[Chris:] Oh yes, yes I shall. Gosh I'm not thinking straight. I'll make some more.
[Norrine:] bit addictive with this at times. That's why I try.
[Chris:] It's, it's sitting down that's addictive is it? Not having breakfast.
[Norrine:] Having breakfast when you're sitting down. You don't actually
[Chris:] You mean you might get into a good habit?...
[Norrine:] late to school.
[Chris:] I must say I like it....
[Norrine:] I'll tell you what.... Erm... go without lunch to make up for it.
[Chris:] To make up for what? My having my normal breakfast?
[Norrine:] Oh it's just me that's got to give up lunch is it?
[Chris:] Well you could actually have two meals today, for a change. . That, that special orange and something honey marmalade.
[Norrine:] Oh, the gift one. Sweet orange marmalade with cider in. It was sweet wasn't it?
[Chris:] It was sweet, but it was pleasant.
[Norrine:] Couldn't taste the cider could you?
[Chris:] No. You rarely can can you?
[Norrine:] My home-made of three years ago.
[Chris:] Oh yes. Good, good and solid.
[Norrine:] Thick, thick marmalade.
[Chris:] Nice.
[Norrine:] A bit thick.
[Chris:] I like it, like that. I think Lizzie's marmalade was particularly addictive.
[Norrine:] Oh I did, mm, I liked that. Nice bitter flavour. Mm.
[Chris:] We haven't tried Jack's have we?
[Norrine:] Jack?
[Chris:] Well he's never given us a pot... mean devil.
[Norrine:] Oh I see, I thought.
[Chris:] It's about the one thing a year he does do and crows about.
[Norrine:] Well I expect his family dispose of it nicely for him. I'm sure Andrew
[Chris:] Oh yes, yes I do believe he's given Andrew a pot to take home. He's still as daft about Andrew as ever isn't he?
[Norrine:] Yes. It shows a little bit, not in Jack, I don't mean in Jack I mean in Andrew. Although Andrew's twenty eight.
[Chris:] It shows in both of them. I mean Jack was so solicitous that
[Norrine:] Yeah.
[Chris:] weekend towards Andrew. And he and I had... oops... er... had earlier talked about people, no that's fine, that's fine I like the crust, erm parking on verges and I was decrying it. Of course when we came back and discovered Andrew and co had arrived, he'd parked on the verge and I... had a dig at Andrew about it. Jack was terribly defensive of him. You know totally changed his tune from earlier [LAUGHTER]. Andrew can do no wrong.
[Norrine:] Well it's better that way round than the other.
[Chris:] Oh you mean the way I treat Snoopy?
[Norrine:] That's not what I mean at all..... No but it's better to have er parents who think highly of their kids even if slightly mistakenly
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] than decry them. Run them down.
[Chris:] Mm....
[Norrine:] The lupin's coming out.
[Chris:] Oh yes so it is. We've got two more down there, which are looking very healthy....
[Norrine:] I have offered to Lizzie to make bean salad for her wedding reception, or Brian's wedding
[Chris:] Oh good.
[Norrine:] cos Lizzie's doing the catering.... Erm with the help of David's mother. The erm... my mother's, David's mother's making a cake, er it was one of those... special ones.
[Chris:] Her speciality.
[Norrine:] And icing it.
[Chris:] Good.
[Norrine:] What did she say about desserts? Didn't she say that the college was, they were paying the college to? They're having it at the co, at the university because David's mother has some connection. Which was how she knew about it.
[Chris:] Right.
[Norrine:] And the desserts... I think the college does a very good array or selection or standard or something of desserts. So they're going to actually... buy the desserts from the college.
[Chris:] Right.
[Norrine:] or something like that, they are.... Lydia's doing cold meat and, and salad basically. [door bell]
[Chris:] Yeah. Yes I suppose it's Lynda.... Well you're some guard dog aren't you? Useless creature. Hi there.
[Lynda:] Hi. Perhaps she could smell me through the door. Oh you're wired for sound.
[Chris:] I'm wired for sound ma'am.
[Lynda:] Oh wow.
[Chris:] Looking for your usual match.
[Norrine:] Hello. You realize I don't trust him any longer.
[Lynda:] Is that a [LAUGHTER].
[Norrine:] All these conversations he has and I'm not there.
[Lynda:] He'll be
[Norrine:] I wasn't thinking
[Lynda:] What an excellent plan.
[Chris:] Well it's a pacemaker below the belt dear.
[Lynda:] Well I don't want to know about that.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] How wise. Oh lovely, thank you. That's superb! Yes I prefer the picture of the Red Arrows personally.
[Lynda:] I didn't realize that was. Completely cut out the.
[Chris:] Oh, gosh, we've actually got a message in now. Amazing. There was nothing, there was nothing in the mail but a chequebook. And er nothing on telex. Oh god.
[Lynda:] Has phoned?
[Chris:] No it's, it's and er about the alloy eight hundred H T.
[Lynda:] You didn't telephone Richard's did you?
[Chris:] No I didn't. Sorry about that.
[Lynda:] Well when I find out who it was I shall wring their necks.
[Chris:] Twenty five past eight?
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Chris:] Oh well you mean you rushed back in again did you?
[Lynda:] No, well no I was actually stark naked in the bathroom.
[Chris:] Ah. Twenty five past eight! Oh of course there's no school is there?
[Lynda:] No, no school.
[Chris:] It, it's a tough life. I wouldn't mind being M D of an electronics firm. How many, how many to make you redundant this week. [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] He's off at he's up at nine o'clock. No if you think about it he was out er Monday last week. Monday before that we were away, Tuesday away playing golf. And today all day he plays golf. Next week playing golf [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] I think he might get a bit of a... a a a bit of a reaction from one or two of these people, don't you? Dear oh dear oh dear. This eight hundred H T order's slipped away.
[Lynda:] Oh dear.
[Chris:] Not too surprising really I suppose but erm [cough]... I went up and erm heard the jazz at the Crown last night.
[Lynda:] Manhattan?
[Chris:] Manhattan yes.
[Lynda:] How were they?
[Chris:] I thoroughly enjoyed it. I thought it was great.
[Lynda:] Oh that's good.
[Chris:] In fact I was quite a busy little bee last night. Fixed to go and have a game of croquet on Saturday afternoon.
[Lynda:] Oh you said you were, you were threatening to do that weren't you?
[Chris:] Yes. yes. ought to have a go.
[Lynda:] Where are you playing croquet?
[Chris:] Oh Dulwich my dear.
[Lynda:] Dulwich. With She.
[Chris:] Pardon? She? Ah yes, I I [LAUGHTER].
[Lynda:] Shall I put the kettle on?
[Chris:] Yes please dear lovely. I wouldn't er, I wouldn't trust her with mallet. [LAUGHTER] Oh I've got bags of time I reckon to make notes on what I'm doing as we talk here. Yes, oh yes it's all sort of, relatively complex stuff. You, you read that did you?
[Lynda:] Yes. Did they send you the Walkman as well?
[Chris:] Oh yes I've got that. And I've got boxes of, two boxes of tapes.
[Lynda:] Why do they trust you?
[Chris:] I wondered. I must say I wondered. Yeah, I mean you're not particularly trad jazz inclined anyway are you?
[Lynda:] Oh I like trad jazz I don't like modern jazz at all. But I like trad jazz I mean that was, there was a great, there was a trad jazz... era in the sixties
[Chris:] Mm.
[Lynda:] and we were all very.
[Chris:] Well there's the programme. Yes. He lives there. I had a chat with him last night. And er he sort of admitted that he lives absolutely on the fringe of the no go area. Mm look at it, I mean the name of his house Wit's End. He's a very odd character.
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Chris:] Out of interest, how much do you charge for your do?
[Lynda:] Erm... no I didn't, Plum actually did the organizing. I think, I think it was about two hundred and forty pounds
[Chris:] Right.
[Lynda:] but don't quote me on it. It might have been more it might have been
[Norrine:] Somebody mentioned the figure of three hundred pounds.
[Chris:] For a jazz
[Norrine:] Mm. Does that sound right?
[Lynda:] It sounds a bit of a
[Norrine:] I don't know but that, that price, somebody in conversation mentioned it.
[Lynda:] Yes. But they, of course they may be now cos we booked them back in Feb
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] and. But they were only relatively cheap because at the time I made that change musician union. So they weren't charging union rates and we got them relatively cheap.
[Norrine:] Maybe whoever was telling me was making a
[Chris:] Well when you look at how busy a programme they've got. You can't, it's difficult to believe why they don't charge full whack. I mean it was very interesting in the Crown last night because apparently they, they normally have some rhythm and blues and soul and things like that on a Thursday. And erm... the youngsters weren't objecting to their music. I mean there were no real teeny boppers. Erm but the the old grey hairs like me were leaping around and [phone rings]. Yes alright. Good morning Mr.
[Norrine:] Health food shop.
[Lynda:] And it's
[Norrine:] Calming nerves sort of tension yes.
[Lynda:] Yes. Well that, it speak the truth they were given to me by June, who's very into that sort of thing and prescribed them for Simon and in fact has had to give him a few more now because he's had his driving test cancelled. And and he happened to give me.
[Norrine:] But my sister said exactly the same thing when she began a lot of those new remedies. And when I was talking to her she said, oh well you should give her something, but not to send her to sleep and make her drowsy.
[Lynda:] Mm.
[Norrine:] Not those kind of relaxants but something just to relieve the tension and make her feel calmer. So she approaches it in a better frame of mind.
[Lynda:] I, my feeling is that it's a bit of a placebo. But if it works it doesn't matter. I put, Marie Ann gave her daughter a Valium before she took her driving test.
[Norrine:] Did she fall asleep over the wheel?
[Lynda:] She didn't fall over the wheel and she did pass her test. And Marie Ann
[Norrine:] Was she very nervous?
[Lynda:] She, she was very nervous. And er [banging]. And I told Marie Ann about that and she said right. That will not happen to Victoria. And erm she did another very sensible thing which was to send Victoria out the day before with Patricia
[Norrine:] Someone new and different.
[Lynda:] Someone she, Victoria didn't know. And he just sat there doing and saying absolutely nothing. And erm Marie Ann thinks she got over her worst nerves at that time.
[Norrine:] That was a good idea.
[Lynda:] Was a good idea. She offered to do it for Simon and he thought it was a good idea but er he never quite got around to doing it. Maybe I'll get her to do it next week because his next test is next Friday. He's hardly been in the car. I shouldn't think his car will start. So erm you know I'm glad it's only that but I suspect when the day comes his car will... but he took these erm homeopathic tranquillisers of course thinking his test was going to be a couple of weeks ago. And you have to take three the day before
[Norrine:] Yes they're not very strong, you have to build it up gradually.
[Lynda:] and then, they're not drugs of course. And then er one I think an hour before whichever event you're dreading particularly. And he, of course he'd taken them the day before. And by the evening said oh I feel awful, I don't know. And I reported that to June and she said that's a load of nonsense because there's nothing in it to make you feel lightheaded or anything else, and if he, if he felt a bit tired you know. And of course on the morning it was difficult to tell because before he took the first test he appeared to be fine until really the, the very last minute.
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Lynda:] And we didn't get that far. I can't say with my heart on my heart they work. I myself put my faith in diazepam I've got gram diazepam which is very slight, very small dose and is enough just to... stop you caring so much about whatever it is that's really bugging you.
[Norrine:] I mean I honestly think she's not going to pass even though she's going to have another go.
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Because as you know if you fail twice you're sure to fail the third time. I mean you, how am I going to suddenly be better at it.
[Lynda:] How's it going to be different.
[Norrine:] So I said well a lot of it's an attitude.
[Lynda:] Exactly that's the only thing you can really change. Also I mean Doesn't it make you feel funny to have
[Norrine:] Erm therefore it doesn't really. I mean therefore she doesn't pass. So there is some judgement and skill involved. And I think her judgement is impaired by the fact she feels nervous. And is anxious not to overdo it and cos that's another where you fail again.
[Lynda:] Yes, unless somebody
[Norrine:] bad enough. But he wouldn't be letting you use your time if you were that poor at it because they do build you up very slowly. over two years she's been doing it.
[Chris:] Well.
[Norrine:] Well hopefully, she's got another class on Monday. She likes her tutor.
[Lynda:] Well I'd be happy to give you the name of the particular one but I don't know whether it applies to the young. they usually want to know the colour of your eyes and that sort of thing.
[Norrine:] Well I only, I've bought odd things in the past and never actually been asked anything specific.
[Lynda:] I'll ask June. It may not apply to anything but I know in the past when she's... given me those things to try erm she's got a book at home and it'll say... erm particular... a decent homeopathic shop they prescribe. She, she uses homeopathic treatment. She went to the er... College of Veterinary Surgeons yest Wednesday... with her latest dog because she's not jumping. You know she just got bigger dog. And she's had it some time now but the whole purpose was to... so that she could train this one because... the first one now is too old, the second one has and can't. And the second was a sort of. The third one has hip displacement. The fourth one and Jim wanted one. And she's had hip displacement.
[Norrine:] Again?
[Lynda:] Yes. So she can't, so she has five dogs she can't train.
[Chris:] Good god.
[Lynda:] And she tablet today. But that will be a bit of a
[Chris:] I hope it means she doesn't buy any more dogs. I I fear the opposite.
[Lynda:] Well the one thing she can't do now is breed from her. So she has to have her spayed. I didn't know she planned to breed from her but er... she must. But it means she has five dogs to look after and
[Norrine:] Has she not passed dogs on or?... They're more like children than dogs.
[Lynda:] Oh yes. Yes, more like, more like children than children to her actually. Erm the only thing that occurred to me I just wondered if she knew somebody who had a dearly loved dog that, didn't want to train it but you know she could perhaps just take along... for the joy of running it and training it but I think part of the pleasure is the reflected glory you know it's my dog
[Norrine:] Well it's
[Lynda:] Yes. So I don't
[Norrine:] Our erm department head at school has a beautiful collie. And they felt he was bored at home because they're out quite a lot
[Lynda:] Mm.
[Norrine:] and although he's well trained and they... exercise him. They felt he was bored so they took him to training classes and Tricia said he's an absolute natural. He goes up through the hoops along the narrow, she said the first day when all the others were standing there shaking at the narrow bath he was just over it and down and... she said you've never seen him
[Lynda:] I mean they do it and thoroughly enjoy it. All of them do that er
[Norrine:] They're not showing theirs or using it for any other purpose just for the dog's benefit.
[Lynda:] Yes. For enjoyment She doesn't show them as such it's all agility and er obediency and so on. And the dogs do, they wouldn't do it otherwise I suppose. [phone rings]
[Chris:] Good afternoon, good morning I mean... Pretty order. Phone call from Singapore.... Do you want to keep that list of the jazz
[Lynda:] Yes
[Chris:] because I've got the similar, similar thing in small format here....
[Lynda:] I was just trying to remember whether they did Joan's do at the last year.. But I've got a feeling they didn't. No they, they didn't because the... that's right because it was cancelled last year it was the year before she did. But I thought they were perfectly acceptable and surprised in a way that so many people commented adversely on them. Because they don't make a bad noise.
[Chris:] I think it's people who don't like trad jazz Lynda.
[Lynda:] That's right.
[Chris:] I think that's all, all you can say.
[Lynda:] Erm we are, there should be another order from Descar ready today.
[Chris:] Oh.
[Lynda:] Mm. One.
[Chris:] Are you going to ring?
[Lynda:] I just.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] Erm. The other thing I'm wondering whether I should do the Petroline order which in fact flew on its first leg to Rome yesterday.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] It's only worth about a hundred pounds. We haven't insured it at all yet erm arrange that anyway.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Lynda:] But might not be the best thing because... if for any reason... the buyer says that they didn't they're not going to pay
[Chris:] I I I think we've got to accept that that on that business we have, we have, do not have secure terms period.
[Lynda:] Right but should we insure it fully?
[Chris:] Not fully. But contingency.
[Lynda:] Contingency is, I thought was just sort of between here and the airport
[Chris:] Oh no.
[Lynda:] until it left the country.
[Chris:] No. No no no That is what it is for. That is what it is. Contingency is if the customer having, the buyer having said he will cover the insurance, doesn't
[Lynda:] Mm.
[Chris:] and then... doesn't get his money, doesn't pay us
[Lynda:] Right.
[Chris:] we can claim.
[Lynda:] But if it was lost we could still claim? We could claim, he couldn't but we could.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] Fine, O K.
[Chris:] Yes. We will probably have to prove that we have not been paid for the consignment.
[Lynda:] Interesting.
[Chris:] Interesting possibility. But it, it, it's not covering from factory to airport or anything of that sort. It is definitely covering
[Lynda:] Right covering part of the risk.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] But not the
[Chris:] Yes. Because we we can only take it on their word when they say we shall insure. I mean we should be doing it for shouldn't we?
[Lynda:] I do do it for.
[Chris:] Do you? Right. O K.... Ah....
[Lynda:] contingency only....
[Chris:] I suppose it... it doesn't matter very much one way or the other does it?
[Lynda:] What to them cheaper?
[Chris:] Cheaper to us, erm the trouble with it is of course we never actually add it in. Do we?
[Lynda:] Yes costs I do.
[Chris:] Do you?
[Lynda:] Oh yes.
[Chris:] You you bung it across to the customer?
[Lynda:] Ah. I do if it's a C I N contract when I'm
[Chris:] Well if it's a C I N contract you aren't you're not contingency.
[Lynda:] No. If it's contingency, no I don't.
[Chris:] No.
[Lynda:] But it's usually.
[Chris:] It is a small sum yes that's quite true. Great.
[Lynda:] I do add it into the costs if it's
[Chris:] Ah. Yes.
[Lynda:] don't know do they?
[Chris:] No that's true. That's quite true. Now er Richard rang me at five o'clock yesterday.
[Lynda:] That's an old fashioned half an hour.
[Chris:] Yes. He did say that he'd tried to ring before I got back from lunch but I'm not one hundred percent certain. Erm but it wasn't, it was twenty past two when I got back from lunch. Erm and the erm... I saw John at lunchtime and I mentioned it to him because he, he said that, it hadn't even occurred to me till then, because he said I'm concentrating on the surveying side and I thought ha ha ha to you my friend. Would you like Richard's work telephone number?
[Lynda:] why not. Did you discover what company he works for?
[Chris:] No I didn't I'm afraid.
[Lynda:] Oh.
[Chris:] No I didn't erm... I didn't ask. But he said er, and I said that I gather you're seeing Lynda the weekend if you do find anything perhaps you could pass it on to her. And John said oh it will give me something to do. [LAUGHTER] It is a bit desperate isn't it? I think Lewisham have got themselves into a ludicrous state over people er.... Erm... being pushed sideways into jobs that don't match and being paid full price. I don't want. Erm being paid their full salary. Yeah we don't want you any more so go and, go and twiddle your thumbs in this corner but they're still paying them twenty thousand a year. Absolute farce. Absolutely farcical.
[Lynda:] But I thought John had been put into a job that in fact he was born to and getting his teeth into
[Chris:] Absolutely. Absolutely but he's up against the fact that nobody wants to know what he's doing. Quality control, I mean er... client satisfaction, things of that sort I'm not quite sure what he's into. But er being a local authority they're saying oh come on. Why make the effort.
[Lynda:] I mean sadly that really was in a sense what making local authorities answerable was supposed to stamp out.
[Chris:] Yes. And of course local government is the most wonderful procrastinator in the world isn't it?
[Lynda:] Yes but if they truly were answerable for their own budgets
[Chris:] Oh sure.
[Lynda:] which they're still not
[Chris:] No.
[Lynda:] and you know never will be now
[Chris:] That's right. That's absolutely right.
[Lynda:] er that things go on like that.
[Chris:] That's right. And that's going to be
[Lynda:] But who does it benefit? It doesn't benefit. I was quite convinced that... ninety nine percent of people do not actually enjoy sitting doing nothing. You like to feel useful.
[Chris:] Oh absolutely.
[Lynda:] But who does that benefit apart from the fact they're getting a salary at the end of the day?
[Chris:] Nobody. Nobody. Nobody. But but... when initially presented to you, here's twenty thousand a year for doing nothing my friend. It's, it has an element of appeal doesn't it?
[Lynda:] Well clearly you'd rather being doing that than doing
[Chris:] Getting nothing for doing nothing [LAUGHTER].
[Lynda:] . Yes. Yes. But why can't they get their act together and...
[Chris:] Yes. Yes I agree.
[Lynda:] I suppose at the end of the day... yes you're right. He's as well sit pushing papers around pretending to be busy but drawing the salary than being made redundant which is what ought to be happening.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] But they could possibly, they surely must be able to do it through natural wastage to some extent.
[Chris:] I would have thought so.
[Lynda:] I mean all the time
[Chris:] This Guys er business incidentally. They're now saying four hundred jobs will go but less than a hundred will be made redundant. The other three hundred will go through natural wastage.
[Lynda:] . They said six
[Chris:] They said six hundred originally apparently but then and now they're talking four hundred. There was some rather naff comments about the union people [whispers] COHSE I mean what a shower. Erm. On television last night there was some waffling about nothing and complaining they hadn't been told [LAUGHTER].
[Lynda:] I don't, I honestly don't know what the answer is with the National Health but it's going to take years and years and years. But probably we'll always
[Chris:] I think the Guys situation is a very interesting... experiment. It's a shame it's going on under a microscope, spotlight or whatever but erm. Spotlight I mean don't a microscope. Erm... but even so it's er... it's, it's interesting. And Guys needs it for goodness sake. Guys definitely needs it.
[Lynda:] If you look at all the nationalized industries that have been privatized, they're all making thumping great profits now. I wouldn't say it was, like the Gas Board, like B T. And I wouldn't say that we were being fleeced, I mean I, I think we've always been fleeced up to a certain point but they were always making a loss in the past and
[Chris:] Well their, their accounting was cock-eyed in commercial terms Lynda. It, it really was different accounting which is hardly comparable. Erm and I see nothing wrong with making decent profits as long as you're not actually ripping people off as a monopoly.
[Lynda:] Yes. I think it's a bit dubious what they do with the profits after.
[Chris:] Well. Oh that, that's a different matter. That is a... surely
[Lynda:] I mean with something like British Gas erm to make the enormous profit they've made surely it must be possible to reduce the price to the consumer.
[Chris:] I would have thought so, yes.
[Lynda:] And they can give you all sorts of reasons why
[Chris:] Erm I I I must say I haven't read or heard anything about the British Gas thing.
[Lynda:] billion.
[Chris:] Oh yes. I knew they'd made a lot of money. But erm what they were going to do I don't know.
[Lynda:] justify why they're not going to reduce the price.
[Chris:] But the South West Water Authority or whatever they're called erm also made a big... profit didn't they? But the guy said well ninety percent of this has got to be spent on a small proportion of the works which we are required to do over the next decade.
[Lynda:] Well that's fine. You know if British Gas training themselves more efficient or whatever else it is, fine.
[Chris:] Yes. Yes. Yes it's when you see British Telecom repainting all their vans with this silly new logo that you get a bit twitchy don't you? Mm....
[Lynda:] I think the health length of waiting lists for operations and... the furore about the fact that you've got to ring up and find where the shortest list is and all that
[Chris:] Mm.
[Lynda:] which is a sensible thing to do in a way. Lots of people say well I don't mind waiting or whatever.
[Chris:] Well. Norman on his wall has a a a list of er... theoretical waitings for the different specialists at Orpington hospital and presumably he's got one beside it for Queen Mary's as well.
[Lynda:] Mm.
[Chris:] So he can actually look at and say oh well... Queen Mary's is the place for you to go my friend.
[Lynda:] And some people might say oh I don't want to go there I'd rather wait
[Chris:] That's right. Absolutely.
[Lynda:] You know it's going to work out
[Chris:] So it, it's happening already.
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Chris:] To some degree.
[Lynda:] But er... they're never going to, I don't think they're ever going to get on top of the waiting lists because they're introducing so many new operations.
[Chris:] That's right. Yes.
[Lynda:] So. And there are people living longer and needing them. But it's always going to
[Chris:] You, you have got to have a waiting list to use the facilities reasonably fully.
[Lynda:] Yes, otherwise you'd have sort of hanging around and asking
[Chris:] That's right.
[Lynda:] how is that hip?
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Lynda:] Shall we do it now? [LAUGHTER]... Right. I'll ring...
[Chris:] There's your jazz band leader.
[Lynda:] Jeffrey Jeffrey! Is that really?
[Chris:] That's his full time job.
[Lynda:] when does... And he lives in?
[Chris:] He admits that it's a area. He's a bit of an odd boy himself though you know.
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Chris:] And I think it was his wife there last night too. Erm and she, she's a, a curious lady.... I think it was his wife anyway she went round with a pot at the end....
[Lynda:] And he, I mean that's such an anomaly. He's effectively a surveyor.
[Chris:] Yes. He's a building surveyor.
[Lynda:] I mean, you know building surveyors don't wear clothes like that. pants.
[Chris:] Dressed all in black dear.
[Lynda:] I was just gobsmacked
[Chris:] Yes, yes. Incredible isn't it.? Brave fellow I'd say.
[Lynda:] Yes. I love the... humorous name though [LAUGHTER].
[Chris:] Yes it fits him rather well doesn't it?
[Lynda:] Like the little terrace house called Bedlam at the end of.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Talking of which there's a house down lower Camden which has the Chislehurst station sign. Great big thing. Stuck in their driveway. It's been there for ages and ages and ages.
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER]. Not a very clever thief really.
[Chris:] No I wouldn't have thought so either. Enormous great thing. By the way...
[Lynda:] I heard it on erm Capital Radio. Now how does it actually work?
[Chris:] You just say please may I have my Argos card. You take the card back next time and they put it in a machine and add more points to it. Recorded electronically.
[Lynda:] And, and where do you, how do you know how many points you've got?
[Chris:] You, you don't. The machine will no doubt tell you but erm... and for every fifty pounds of petrol you get one pound for Argos.
[Lynda:] Oh well that's not bad.
[Chris:] Well considering I put thirty quid in to fill the tank yesterday. You, you get there quite quickly.
[Lynda:] Yes. Mine takes thirteen pounds worth at a time. such a nuisance.
[Chris:] And then you can just shove in your pass and erm
[Lynda:] So they... they put this through the machine.
[Chris:] They just put it in the machine and tag it and, price
[Lynda:] And then when you go to Argos they put this through their machine.
[Chris:] That's right and read it off.
[Lynda:] Right. So anyone can use it.
[Chris:] And it's a long term promotion. It's going till the end of next year or, or August next year.
[Lynda:] Is it just?
[Chris:] Yes. So you you you have a chance to actually build up something worthwhile.
[Lynda:] Yes. I think that's... I think that's the first sensible thing they've done. worth a pound off so they give you... ten points do they every?
[Chris:] Well, my thirty pounds seventy gave me sixty, thirty pence or something.... What, what did I say, fifty, fifty
[Lynda:] You said fifty pounds
[Chris:] Fifty pounds worth of petrol gives you one pound off....
[Lynda:] Next, up to.... Which is five pounds off. So presumably you have to do it...
[Chris:] Do what?
[Lynda:] Well, it says you can collect up to twenty five hundred premium points on your collecting card.
[Chris:] Then you get another card.
[Lynda:] Then you get another card.
[Chris:] You've got stacks of cards there....
[Lynda:] I think that's a jolly good idea.
[Chris:] Yes I think it's fair.
[Lynda:] And what I really need is another card for my purse! [LAUGHTER]. When I was in Sainsbury's yesterday you know credit card pay by cheque. And erm I mean I've got
[Chris:] Membership etcetera?
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Chris:] National Trust I see there. Which you never use.
[Lynda:] I've never used. Peugeot warrantee
[Chris:] Oh fancy putting that on a plastic card.
[Lynda:] Well that's, no it's a breakdown service.
[Chris:] Oh is it?
[Lynda:] Mm.... Erm my library ticket. Er picture of Kate. Two tickets for the thirteenth of June. And erm stamps worth fifteen pence each which
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] which I can't live without. But these are my credit cards. [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Oh my god.
[Lynda:] What I really need is another credit card. I mean yesterday I can never find my Visa card quickly you know what it's like. And I found my Mastercard... first
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] and went to put it back and I thought oh... doesn't matter does it you know credit cards. Gave it to the girl and she went... oh... erm... what's the credit limit on this? I said I haven't a clue, I've never used it. She said oh I've got to write down a credit limit....
[Chris:] So. Oh what's the credit limit on your Barclaycard?
[Lynda:] I think fifty pounds you know before they have to... no it isn't my credit limit...
[Chris:] Well yeah well they mean that credit limit
[Lynda:] It's a thousand pounds.
[Chris:] Do you mean as a cheque... backing card?
[Lynda:] She said what is your credit limit on this. I don't know.
[Chris:] Were you paying by cheque?
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Chris:] Well it's not a cheque guarantee card anyway. That's not a cheque guarantee card. Is it?
[Lynda:] Neither is Barclaycard.
[Chris:] It is with Barclays, but I mean the, there's got to be a standard figure for the Barclaycard. Any any anybody else's, my bank card has a figure on it. It actually has fifty quid on it or something of that sort.
[Lynda:] I think it's fifty pounds for everything.
[Chris:] Yes....
[Lynda:] Yes anyway. So that had to go back and I had to find my Visa card much to the annoyance of people queuing behind me.
[Chris:] Have you tried them on already?
[Norrine:] Not yet....
[Chris:] I like the look of it very much....
[Norrine:] Oh....
[Chris:] or something.
[Norrine:] No....
[Chris:] Fits nicer than that one. Do you like it?
[Norrine:] Well I'm asking you.
[Chris:] Yes I like it. I like it.
[Norrine:] Well you think it fits alright?
[Chris:] It seems to me to fit perfectly.
[Norrine:] And the colour's not too drab?
[Chris:] I don't think the colour's drab at all. I think the colour's fab.
[Norrine:] Right.
[Chris:] Looks just fine to me.
[Norrine:] Yes. Mm. I'll just slip on another one.
[Chris:] I like it.
[Norrine:] It wasn't too expensive. Thirty pounds, twenty-nine ninety five or something.
[Chris:] Good.
[Norrine:] Which isn't a bad price.
[Chris:] Did you try, do you try any of them on in Marks?
[Norrine:] No.
[Chris:] What's the material like?
[Norrine:] I don't know.. Now this one... I've realized now... is actually meant for wearing... outside because it's got a bit of shaping here, see?
[Chris:] Oh I see what you mean, yes, yes.
[Norrine:] Erm but whether that... couldn't wear it outside with this
[Chris:] Out out out or in presumably?
[Norrine:] Presumably..
[Chris:] What do you mean?
[Norrine:] The collar ends in a point at the bottom in the styling.
[Chris:] Oh I see. Oh yes yes yes yes I do see what you mean, yeah.
[Norrine:] I will say it's cut shorter at the back.
[Chris:] sort of waistcoaty in fact.
[Norrine:] .
[Chris:] Well it looks fine tucked in like that.
[Norrine:] I mean there's not much of it to tuck in.... You know sort of
[Chris:] Well that looks very smart as it is.
[Norrine:] But you couldn't wear it out on this particular blouse
[Chris:] Well ca w
[Norrine:] because of the belt. If you wore the erm
[Chris:] Well try it.
[Norrine:] If you. I will. You think that the colours go and
[Chris:] I think the colours go very well indeed. I mean it doesn't pick up precisely the same colour but that in there Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes. But it clashes very well indeed. Why can't you wear it out like that?
[Norrine:] Because you destroy the blouse, the the way that the belt
[Chris:] Well that doesn't matter if you've got your, if you've got your jack your jackety effect then haven't you?
[Norrine:] I suppose you could, if you were going to wear it like that, you could take the belt right off.
[Chris:] Well you don't have to.
[Norrine:] Well no but you, it, it, it's quite a heavy belt and if it, if it's holding, if it's giving point to it.
[Chris:] Yes. And that would make it a, an even cooler outfit wouldn't it?
[Norrine:] Yes. Because I have got this...... this... this creamy shirt. Erm... which I saw again in Marks this year... which you could wear tucked in with a belt.
[Chris:] Yes. Yes. But that one is, is genuinely versatile. Looks just as good tucked in as
[Norrine:] Yes. As I say the problem with the tucking in on that one is there's not quite such a lot of length. So when you do this you might come out.
[Chris:] It'd start pulling out, yes.
[Norrine:] Erm and I don't think it looks good hanging out because it's, you, you paying in the skirt and the belt and that. And it's a bit silly to wear er a permanent arrangement. But this shirt could be worn with the skirt, couldn't it?
[Chris:] Definitely.
[Norrine:] I mean the colour's just as, it's not quite as strong.
[Chris:] the colour's pretty neutral isn't it?
[Norrine:] But I mean it does pick up.
[Chris:] Yes. Yes I think the skirt's gonna be very useful actually.
[Norrine:] Er good skirt whether.
[Chris:] Well I hope you will. I like it. It's the wrong green I think. The actual skirt, the skirt's a blueyer green. But you've got two blouses to wear with it, that's alright. You've got this other white one as well.
[Norrine:] white one. That's a short, that's your shirt.
[Chris:] That's mine is it? Mm.
[Norrine:] They're very good, that's the white one.
[Chris:] Yes. I would have thought
[Norrine:] This white one might the cream one.
[Chris:] Well so you've got four blouses.
[Norrine:] Which is the fourth?
[Chris:] Well the one you just said is a bit old now.
[Norrine:] Oh yeah but that's white again isn't it?
[Chris:] Yes. No I think they're all worth and I think that's an attractive top as well. I think you should have that.
[Norrine:] Well erm. What else.
[Chris:] I don't know. It's it's it's a possible winter or cooler
[Norrine:] No it's not.
[Chris:] weather skirt. With a jumper or cardigan.
[Norrine:] No it's not. cooler, warmer weather and it's got short sleeves you know. I don't really erm.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] That's wrong for that. This has got a stain on it.
[Chris:] That's a nuisance. It would be perfectly acceptable otherwise.
[Norrine:] Yes and we've got big crease marks on there.
[Chris:] Let's have a look.
[Norrine:] There.... I know it's there. I know it was last year I was really annoyed.
[Chris:] Put the light on..... Well if we can't see it, it doesn't matter even if it is there. N'est pas?
[Norrine:] Well you certainly can't see it. Which is cos there was this big round grease mark. It was very but maybe I got it out. But I suppose that... might erm
[Chris:] Don't you think they go well together?
[Norrine:] work. Those colours are not too dark are they? They're not perfect but they would do. Oh what about this?... Mind you this skirt is only casual. And that's a rather sort of formal blouse. No that's wrong. wrong.
[Chris:] Oddly enough I mean it's so far away from the yellow I would say it isn't wrong.
[Norrine:] Oh it is wrong. It's not, it's not the same as this at all. That's sort of brilliant
[Chris:] That, that's a hot pattern and colour isn't it?
[Norrine:] That's a brilliant yellow, yes. And this one's erm a sort of golder. And that wouldn't do. But that's colours go with that.
[Chris:] Mhm.
[Norrine:] Those are the only. And I'll keep this blue skirt stain, quite smart.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] . And I'll keep the dress. And I'll think about the shirt. I like it with the skirt. What I might do is go back to Marks. If they have one thing in that colour they may have another one.
[Chris:] In what colour? We were chatting.
[Norrine:] The gold
[Chris:] Are you, are you thinking of that because it's a bit too formal or something?
[Norrine:] No just because it hasn't got the length for tucking in.
[Chris:] Oh, yes.
[Norrine:] And I don't like these that pull out when you
[Chris:] Well at least if it pulls out it looks alright.... It was interesting in the pub last night. There were quite a lot of enthusiastic er... audience but er they were mostly grey beards like me. Yes. Oh yes well apparently they normally have a sort of rhythm and blues or something on a, on a Thursday. Er or soul or something of that sort, which er... you know there were loads of youngsters in the pub. Not under age youngsters I was pleased to see. But er... there were a goodly proportion of people who were really enjoying the er, the track.
[Norrine:] I'm sorry I didn't feel up to going.
[Chris:] Yeah. Well we've got plenty of other, I've got the list. opportunities to go and hear them again. He's a funny character though.
[Norrine:] Who? Who's a funny character?
[Chris:] , who runs it.
[Norrine:] .... He seems to have a very popular pub there.
[Chris:] Oh, who runs the band sorry, runs the band.
[Norrine:] Oh, who runs the band.
[Chris:] Yeah, it, it's a new interim landlord at the Crown....
[Norrine:] What happened to the old one?
[Chris:] Oh, they move on. Erm you know he found another pub. Sometimes they move from being managers to being licence, erm erm tenants, I mean when they're running their own business.
[Norrine:] A bigger pub?
[Chris:] Perhaps but I mean the Crown is quite a big pub.
[Norrine:] more opportunities.
[Chris:] Quite a big pub. It's a, with its own kitchens and what have you. I should think you could make a good living there if you wanted to. And there have been long term er landlords there. Sorry? Mm. Well I'll go and shower now.... Snoopy was off in a rush wasn't she?
[Norrine:] Well she was going on the train.
[Chris:] Didn't realize she was going quite so early but I suppose it's hardly early anyway now.
[Norrine:] What time does Lynda come in these days?
[Chris:] Half past nineish.
[Norrine:] I wonder if she'll change her time because of half term and she won't have to be... taking her daughter to nursery school today, half past one.
[Chris:] She may be. Yes, yes she may be. Yep.
[Norrine:] isn't it? bridesmaid's dress. There's nothing the right colour at all.
[Chris:] Oh how annoying.
[Norrine:] I'll have to go into that little... Auntie Pat's Textiles or whatever it's called in the afternoon.
[Chris:] You don't want to leave it to Veronica?
[Norrine:] Veronica doesn't want, want to do the shopping bit of it.
[Chris:] No.
[Norrine:] I don't blame her either.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] yes, it's certainly improving a bit
[Norrine:] I know she hasn't left all her customers.
[Chris:] Oh quite, quite. Does she have any other suggestions of shops for the linings?
[Norrine:] . Well John Lewis probably will have it but that means... burdening Suzannah with it. At a time when she's busy with her exams. It also means sorting out the cash.
[Chris:] How interested is she in the preparation of this dress?
[Norrine:] Oh she's interested alright....
[Chris:] Interested enough to be enthusiastic and do the right thing?
[Norrine:] Well she, she also
[Chris:] Did she?
[Norrine:] but she is... preoccupied at the moment with her exams and in a way I'm glad. I didn't want to... send her material hunting if she could be doing something useful at college.
[Chris:] Yes, yes fair enough. Anyway, O K
[Norrine:] Karen's given her an extra job from...
[Chris:] Is she?
[Norrine:] going in on Monday when she doesn't normally.
[Chris:] Half past ten, right. Well given that then, in that case she still can't ring the bank to find out what, how much she's now got in the account.
[Norrine:] Can't she? Why not?
[Chris:] Well she can do, but she can't do it from home. That's all. She won't be home. will she?
[Norrine:] Banks open at nine don't they? I mean, not to the public but the office is.
[Chris:] Yes. Anyway she's the one who 's find out
[Norrine:] I mean anyway she'll be home again.
[Chris:] Will she?
[Norrine:] She's only going for one class.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] I mean she'll be home after lunch I imagine.
[Chris:] Yes.... Did you do anything about those tranquillisers?
[Norrine:] What?
[Chris:] Lynda's got some, for Simon. For his driving test.
[Norrine:] I mentioned it to
[Chris:] Homeopathic ones.
[Norrine:] Well that's the kind I was after. Erm, I mentioned it to Suzannah. And she wasn't averse to the idea. But she said she doesn't need them for Monday because it's only when she takes the tests she gets in a panic not when she's... she said she can do it in the practice classes.
[Chris:] Right.
[Norrine:] What she needs, lots of practice with different, not all on one man like before
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] but a new person each time skill
[Chris:] I, I doubt whether she's been properly taught on the subject quite frankly.
[Norrine:] I mean other girls have passed.
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[Norrine:] And she likes Karen. Very much.
[Chris:] Her teacher for?
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] Oh, I
[Norrine:] She's a young girl.
[Chris:] Really?
[Norrine:] And she likes her very much and erm... I told you she by chance.
[Chris:] Yes, indeed.
[Norrine:] And she spoke very highly of Suzannah.
[Chris:] Oh.
[Norrine:] And said what a nice girl she was and what a good student and... Suzannah said oh that's cos I won that make up competition.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Right, I should get on. I was rather irritated yesterday because I had a phone call from...
[Lynda:] Yes?
[Chris:] And he called Gary saying we don't have the P elevens. And I... I said oh well that's fair enough so I dug them out and sent them to him. And after I'd stamped and sealed the envelopes... he rang back he said I haven't got the copy VAT certs either. I was not pleased at that! And I, wouldn't have occurred to me to send the P elevens.
[Lynda:] Actually that's not true either because I sent the P elevens to Steve and Matthew... for his approval before we sent them off.
[Chris:] And he sent them back again?
[Lynda:] Erm.... I don't know whether he sent them back. I sent, I didn't send him the originals I sent a copy.
[Chris:] Oh right.
[Lynda:] I doubt that he sent them back.
[Chris:] Oh well, I I've sent the ones from the drawer
[Lynda:] Fine.
[Chris:] off and said I want them back!
[Lynda:] Oh right.
[Chris:] And he said fine.
[Lynda:] We haven't got copies of them.
[Chris:] No. That that, well... you know if there's a query in the next fortnight we know where they are don't we? But I was annoyed and I thought well that's fair enough because I wasn't aware that those particular documents were required by the accountants to sort things out, but
[Lynda:] Why were they required?
[Chris:] I don't know. I didn't ask him but he said he required them. But I know that copy VAT certs, the VAT certs, VAT payment return, returns that's what they're called aren't they, are required. And so we hadn't sent them....
[Lynda:] Oh.
[Chris:] Down to our that is.
[Lynda:] Well where were they?
[Chris:] Well they're here in the... drawer where they're kept. There's there's a VAT file in there and that's where they get put.... Bit silly isn't it?... This is a unhelpful because... it's winding that way yet it looks as if it's winding that way, doesn't it?
[Lynda:] What onto the spool here?
[Chris:] It looks as if it's reeling on to that spool.
[Lynda:] Yes. But it's reeling onto that one?
[Chris:] It's not it's reeling through there. Very confusing and the fact that they've stuck that label on there doesn't help very much either.
[Lynda:] No, so, when it's full you have to put another tape in, does it
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] click or does it?
[Chris:] I don't know. I thought it would actually reversed on the first side. Erm
[Lynda:] And do the other side.
[Chris:] Yes and I thought it was mucking it up so I just swapped it over the way it was. Erm we shall see. We shall see.
[Lynda:] It doesn't tell you.
[Chris:] Well it it tells you quite a lot, but it doesn't actually mention that bit. I've got, I have got oodles of instructions here. It appears that on that erm walk the erm... sort of pilgrimage walk. The B B C Songs of Praise television team were involved on all four days.
[Lynda:] Oh.
[Chris:] Erm... they were at the start they were at the finish and... both days in between. Erm what's his name Alan Titchmarsh was doing the interviewing. And you might just see me in the background of one of the shots.
[Lynda:] Right. When's that being broadcast?
[Chris:] I believe it's a special Songs of Praise in the summer to do with pilgrimages.... Peter was saying what er a good do it was how it had all gone well.
[Lynda:] How much did it make?
[Chris:] He doesn't know, he said we've certainly broken even but beyond that he's he's not. Well I hope so too but it wasn't the whole object of the exercise. Publicity for homelessness was part of the business and I know one lad... said he'd only got two pounds of sponsorship and er I thought well you've you've done rather well to get two quid [LAUGHTER]. There was some fairly erm basic types on that walk. You know you could you could well understand that they were homeless.
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Chris:] Hi Susan how are you?
[Susan:] Hi Chris. Fine thank you.
[Chris:] Good good good. Geared up for the hols?
[Susan:] Look like you've got your... speaker on?
[Chris:] I have.
[Susan:] Ah.
[Chris:] I have. Yes, yes yes. Yes. Are you ready to go, next week? Next Friday you go?
[Susan:] Yes, that's right, yes.
[Lynda:] It's a week away she got washing at the moment.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER].
[Lynda:] I'm going to wear it all again before Friday.
[Susan:] Well I know. Can I borrow your photocopier please?
[Chris:] With great pleasure, yes. How many would you like?
[Susan:] Just one off that please.
[Chris:] Right. Pleasure. N ah, we've still got a few marks on here haven't we Lynda?
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Chris:] Not many but er there are a few. Trouble is this, this is a spotty original too.... There you are Susan.
[Susan:] Thank you. Don't worry too much it's only.
[Chris:] It's er, these these these these spots are on your original.
[Susan:] Yes. That's O K cos that's a copy too.
[Chris:] But we've added a few you see and we're concerned about the spots.
[Susan:] It's only... it's very rough
[Chris:] It's what you need anyway isn't it?
[Susan:] Yes.
[Chris:] ...
[Lynda:] Just wondering what she sent to Barry cos the copies of are here.
[Chris:] I sent him the originals. P elevens not P eleven D's. Your records...
[Lynda:] Oh.
[Chris:] your double fold two, two tone blue and white... thingies.
[Lynda:] Oh the erm
[Chris:] Cards.
[Lynda:] Deductions working sheets, those things?
[Chris:] If that's what they're called, yes. Are they called P elevens?
[Lynda:] Yeah they are. You knew that.
[Chris:] Well they're a full record of all the... deductions and so on and so forth aren't they? May be there's no other full record. But I I don't know, he didn't say and I wasn't going to argue with him on it.
[Lynda:] I though it was the eleven D's you were talking about.
[Chris:] No no.
[Lynda:] Oh in that case oh yeah I had those.
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Lynda:] They've never ever had those. They have never had them.
[Chris:] They they seem to come up with something new every year don't they?
[Lynda:] Exactly. I mean I've been doing that for ever since we've been on.
[Chris:] Yes quite.
[Lynda:] How peculiar.... Ah well.... Oh yes they'd have been paid wouldn't they?
[Chris:] Yes they would they certainly would.
[Norrine:] pay the cleaners. Anything else?
[Chris:] I'm sorry. You're going where?
[Norrine:] anything else? I'm going to Eltham to get some material I hope.
[Chris:] No there's nothing else I need thank you.
[Norrine:] bring you anything Lynda?
[Lynda:] No thank you.
[Chris:] She could use a Mars Bar you could [LAUGHTER]. You could just sort of tuck it in here under her waistband.... Save her swallowing it.
[Norrine:] Dorothy was saying on the radio there was a programme about teeth. And they said within fifty years false teeth will be a thing of the past. Nobody will need to wear them any more. Dentists are doing such wonderful
[Chris:] We probably won't need teeth we'll all be eating gruel all day.
[Norrine:] things to people's teeth and people's teeth today are so much better than... the past.
[Chris:] Yes. Interesting.
[Lynda:] Well it's too late for me.
[Norrine:] Ah shame.
[Chris:] You haven't got false teeth.
[Lynda:] Pardon?
[Chris:] You haven't got any false teeth.
[Lynda:] Not yet, no. But I might do in the next fifty years any of them.
[Chris:] Oh we'll feed you on gruel dear don't worry.
[Norrine:] You might be needing your own.
[Chris:] What flavour gruel would you like?
[Lynda:] I don't think I'll mind really.
[Norrine:] Strawberry.
[Chris:] No I prefer, I prefer original. Salt and vinegar.... Yes alright whisky flavour wheat. With salt and vinegar lumps.... Oh that green looks really gorgeous with your colourful tracksuit dear.
[Norrine:] Well what do we wear with it.
[Chris:] Yes. Yes.
[Norrine:] I don't have a purple jacket.
[Chris:] Yes. Thank goodness for that....
[Norrine:] See you.
[Chris:] Bye
[Lynda:] Bye [sneeze] Excuse me.
[Chris:] Bless you.... How come Graham's playing golf again today anyway? Oh it's business is it? Amazing. Amazing. He's out officially currying favour ha?
[Lynda:] good
[Chris:] Of course they are. Yes. I mean it it's really quite fascinating that isn't it? They are making the bank a lot of money.
[Lynda:] Yes. playing golf this morning having a posh lunch and then playing golf this afternoon then having a buffet supper with prize giving. Last time he won a beautiful. Yes. He looks like Sean Connery. I offered to carry, pleaded
[Chris:] Oh Lynda! Yes, well you'd be cramping his style wouldn't you? Yes.
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER] And er... he had a partner, an equal partner who I don't know if he'd ever met him, I think he had. Well he was out playing golf... fairly recently he just dropped dead. Forty eight.... keeled over and died. So I'm amazed this guy's
[Chris:] I hope it wasn't on the green.
[Lynda:] So do I.
[Chris:] Dent, dent the turf. Gosh. I hope he didn't bleed or anything like that.
[Lynda:] I think he, you know, quite clean corpse. From what I gather. I would have thought it would have put his partner off playing golf for life.
[Chris:] Yes. You'd have thought so wouldn't you? Still I imagine many men would say what a way to go.
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Chris:] I wouldn't. Far better way to go than that but... Who knows I might even get a chance to try one of these days.
[Lynda:] As long as you don't die with bells on your ankles.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]. Well then at least I'm they'd bury me with bells on my ankles then.
[Lynda:] bills have my name, it's obviously hiding.
[Chris:] Now erm... you did bring a... a very good point there Lynda [cough]. Erm which was that erm... what was it
[Lynda:] Pensions
[Chris:] Yes. Absolutely.
[Lynda:] remember what, what he said last. But I'll see if I can find....
[Chris:] I would have thought that he would have been down slightly more... less
[Lynda:] Illegible
[Chris:] proportions, yes.
[Lynda:] He's quite a nice old dear really.
[Chris:] Yes, his not a bad old stick, but erm, he's so very difficult to actually fathom isn't he?
[Lynda:] Yeah.
[Chris:] Erm, I don't think his as thick as he cames across to me sometimes.
[Lynda:] Did he say his name's not William?
[Chris:] Oh he said he prefers to be called Liam or something.
[Lynda:] Oh what, without the wit [LAUGHTER]. His initial is W.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, he is William, erm,the there are sixteen of the item outstanding on this order, eight required on this order and he says they haven't quite tested eight yet. Some of the have passed test but they haven't quite got to eight yet, so erm.
[Lynda:] . That's the one that was due today.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, erm, he said they may well have done sufficient of them by Monday.
[Lynda:] But it sounds as though everything.
[Chris:] He said the rest of it's on schedule.
[Lynda:] Ah right.
[Chris:] Yes, his looked at it in the last couple of days, so he said within within another week or so he's having the whole done with them.
[Lynda:] Good.
[Chris:] Goody goody goody woof woof woof... I can see exactly what this guy's means about eh, huh, anything, anything in laboratories because the, the range of stuff in these magazines is phenomenal.
[Lynda:] Yeah.
[Chris:] Absolutely incredible. So I think what'll do is contact one or two of British companies with probably way out stuff and just see if there set up in Japan.
[Norrine:] I bet you have your coffee haven't you?
[Chris:] We have thank you dear, Susan's looked after us very nicely, yes, yes, all's well.
[Lynda:] You got these bits, after the address, I don't think.
[Chris:] What bits? Oh you mean the lining for the wedding, the bridesmaid dress. Oh I see so. So.
[Lynda:] Is it near enough?
[Chris:] That's, that's the outer one.
[Lynda:] That's the lining. And that's.
[Chris:] That's the lining.
[Lynda:] That's of the erm.
[Chris:] The net.
[Lynda:] The outer one.
[Chris:] Oh I see.
[Lynda:] You know it's going to be near enough match. Great problems.
[Norrine:] The right.
[Lynda:] Well this is it, and I thought underneath.
[Norrine:] Is the... the net going underneath.
[Lynda:] The net goes on as well.
[Norrine:] Oh yeah.
[Lynda:] It's all underneath.
[Norrine:] .
[Lynda:] This is the top.
[Norrine:] . erm, so it's a sort of net.
[Lynda:] The net is just a.
[Norrine:] Yeah.
[Lynda:] Yeah. Oh yeah in fact if anything.
[Norrine:] Well I felt that it was better than having white.
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Net, erm. It's a very deep blue.
[Lynda:] .
[Norrine:] And the bridesmaid's, the little bridesmaid's jacket are this colour and this colour in print and all out of fabric and erm definitely go for the darker.
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Something more bluey.
[Lynda:] Must be hard.
[Norrine:] Got to get the right.
[Lynda:] Rather you.
[Norrine:] You think you no a colour until you try the er, and the one I actually picked out when she measured it off, she'd only got three yards and I needed four and a half.
[Lynda:] Oh.
[Norrine:] So she said I'm sorry, so I got the next nearest, I just cannot waste any more time.
[Chris:] What a... pest.
[Lynda:] When's the wedding?
[Norrine:] , but if I don't do it at half term it would be left to the end.
[Chris:] Well, poor old Veronica is going on holiday or something of that sort.
[Norrine:] No, she's been.
[Chris:] Oh has she?
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] Ah, good.
[Norrine:] But she's also got lot's of other.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Wedding's, similar to.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] But we have booked with her, she knows it's coming, but I want to be able to start when she wants to start,.
[Lynda:] Rather than hanging on.
[Norrine:] Well also there's all the fittings, fitting them round and trips to and all the other things.
[Lynda:] What.
[Norrine:] Erm... it's not no, the little ones are, cos them going to be three quarters and it's got a full skirt with a, an over panel, and she's got frills in the back of her skirt and got an over panel over it, can't describe it, it is pretty, and the neck is just slightly on the edge of the shoulder, got a frill and no sleeves, and the little ones got puff sleeves and high neck.
[Lynda:] Hm.
[Norrine:] They have that particular one because the two little girls wanted to be bridesmaid's, have just been bridesmaid's and have these dresses and Anna thought the colour was so pretty, cos she went into Laura Ashley and got one in the sale of last years stock.
[Lynda:] Yeah.
[Norrine:] For Layla, seven pounds.
[Lynda:] Oh gosh, you wouldn't have done better than that, that's for sure.
[Norrine:] They do in adult size in.
[Lynda:] Hm.
[Norrine:] So they choose this fabric being the right.
[Lynda:] Hm.
[Norrine:] And the same type of fabric as Anna's dress.
[Lynda:] I'm sure it'll look lovely, if it, I mean if you've got grown up bridesmaid's in every one, you will expect seeing...
[Norrine:] Anna actually chose the.
[Chris:] I rather suspect that the, I even said about the strong colour of the net, I suspect, that when
[Norrine:] Trouble with it?
[Chris:] when it's a single thickness strong the colour won't be as strong as that anyway.
[Norrine:] It looks it won't show anyway.
[Chris:] No.
[Norrine:] The underneath.
[Chris:] Is it, is it really just a puffer is it?
[Norrine:] Veronica said if you can't get anything the right colour, get white, but white got a very starkly difference.
[Lynda:] Yeah.
[Chris:] Would you believe there's an advert in here for Brookfield Discomitors, remember the I went to Bromley to get that.
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Chris:] American's name and address and rang him up for one.
[Lynda:] That was before we found.
[Chris:] Oh yes, it was, is it that, that was why we were looking for them to pick them out?
[Lynda:] Yeah.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]. One.
[Lynda:] It worked.
[Chris:] Yes, half an hour looking through as I am now. Have you a thrilling weekend ahead of you?
[Lynda:] Erm, were going in tomorrow.
[Chris:] Hm, hm.
[Lynda:] And then to the er, I think that's...
[Chris:] Well I, I've got a, got to a, got to go and play croquet but apart from that [LAUGHTER].
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Got to go and get another crate of Sam's.
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER]. A fairly packed weekend then really.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, I've a.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Did you see the thing, piece in the paper this morning Kew gardens says don't water your plants, we don't.
[Lynda:] No.
[Chris:] Yeah, there is no water so don't use it. Funny old business.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Well I've heard it before that a, said, said before that a, that, that the plant roots curl up to the surface to meet, rather than digging down deep and.
[Lynda:] Hm.
[Chris:] Heading for the goodies that way.
[Lynda:] It makes you tree die.
[Chris:] They died from being watered?
[Lynda:] Lack of water.
[Chris:] From lack of water yes, well our, our, our did, our did to, our er Rosemary.
[Lynda:] Did it?
[Chris:] distress.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] It's very interesting that for hyper accurate barometers they still use mercury, and the and these are real test barometers. When you see Di will you mentioned that erm heavy duty office.
[Lynda:] I'm seeing her at lunch time, I'll speak to her.
[Chris:] Di!
[Lynda:] I did.
[Chris:] Oh right.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Very good, very good.
[Lynda:] But we want that.
[Chris:] We want, we want that seal it style as opposed to the right, we do indeed, yes a closing, a closing staple.
[Lynda:] Yes, one that bends over.
[Chris:] A staple closer, not just a staple gun.
[Lynda:] Hm.
[Chris:] It's really rather curious how although David was happy to give me the names of these various lab magazines, lab equipment things, erm, he was very chary of sending me er... copy of his own production.
[Lynda:] Oh.
[Chris:] So what's the temperature inside a domestic wood burning stove Lynda? Come on.
[Lynda:] Three inches?
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]. Not twenty five pounds.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] There is a fuel advisory service, I wonder if they call themselves that or the British fuel advisory service or something ghastly.
[Lynda:] There awful... Is there a separate.
[Chris:] There's the yes, National Coal Board have got there erm, British Heating Council, or something of that sort, I think. Le air, sea food restaurant. No what do I want fuel, come on concentrate boy, fuel, fuel.
[Lynda:] Is it the beef or the fat, that is the question..
[Chris:] Yes, it's certainly not fuel, no what was it? Let's try British, British.
[Lynda:] It could be.
[Chris:] We, we have, it probably more than one place, but erm, there's no guarantee that it'll be there if you actually.
[Lynda:] No.
[Chris:] Manage to, British, no, no British fuel, erm, British Heating... No.
[Lynda:] There is something.
[Chris:] British Coal Pension Fund.
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Chris:] I can't really ring up British Coal to say what about wooden, Woodstow my friends. British Coal Customer Services, British Coal. I just look under heating. Heating Advisory Service, perhaps.
[Lynda:] Now we had.
[Chris:] Heating Advice Consultancy Sidcup, oh my goodness me.
[Lynda:] I doubt if were gonna get.
[Chris:] They're gonna sell you a... a gas wavy on the wall stove I expect.
[Lynda:] We did have quotations from Wood.
[Chris:] Yes, we did.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] That was, that was an awfully long time ago wasn't it? Let's have a quick shuffle in Kelly's.
[Lynda:] Who is it that created the adverts.
[Chris:] I think the Coal Advisory Service, yeah, yeah.
[Lynda:] Yes, quite right,.
[Chris:] Eh, Stoves, Wood burning, er.
[Lynda:] Wouldn't your man.
[Chris:] On the basis of the, the huge attempts I've made to get very little informa and, and the lack of success getting information out of them, no, I don't think so.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Portugal.
[Lynda:] Oh....
[Chris:] Stove, log stroke, wood burning. I could ring them up and say I'm in touch with your competition in Portugal...
[Lynda:] You probably....
[Chris:] Yes, probably does, but it, it, it maybe scientifically possible to say, would, would under ideal circumstances maximum temperature would be so and so.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Erm, so that you would have to allow for those ideal circumstances in maximum temperature. But I have seen a coke stove, cast iron coke stove on a chimney going up to the ceiling in the dark absolutely glowing bright, bright, red.
[Lynda:] I have seen. [door opening].
[Chris:] Agas.
[Lynda:] Agas. I've seen an entire kitchen going red from an Aga.
[Chris:] Really.
[Lynda:] Because I left slightly ajar the bottom door.
[Chris:] Oh splendid.
[Lynda:] And the fridge was red, everything was red.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER].
[Lynda:] , everything red hot.
[Chris:] God.
[Lynda:] The hot water pipe. But that was, you could actually see, they are pretty.
[Chris:] Hm.
[Lynda:] But I don't mind.
[Chris:] I bet.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Where was that?
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Oh right, yes. I have noticed our fridge door being open rather more than it, you know, just somehow not properly closed.
[Lynda:] I. Trouble is, think about it, design, the weight.
[Chris:] Absolutely.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Yes, yes, and our door was squiffy when it first arrived. erm. Gracious, makes you wonder doesn't it? Green Tom Products Limited.
[Lynda:] Green Tom?
[Chris:] Fume extraction engineers.
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER].
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]. Three of the people listed are in Exeter.
[Lynda:] That's strange.
[Chris:] Hm... Gracious nearly half past twelve.
[Lynda:] .
[Norrine:] Lynda, you can tell keep an eye on all my own letters.
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER]. That's a desperately needs this job.
[Norrine:] Oh, well I don't to ask him cos I know he must be his A levels.
[Lynda:] Right.
[Norrine:] And I thought if I come along with. I wish it was true that he was actually studying for A levels though.
[Lynda:] Actually I wouldn't like to be the one..
[Norrine:] Whom he, whom he can blame.
[Lynda:] He's actually gone, everyday we speak to erm various public libraries, to research to get.
[Chris:] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.. Oh, I shall stay here if I were you. [LAUGHTER], somebody's holding the door shut, [LAUGHTER], wouldn't push open knock the end of the nose as usual, very startled dog [LAUGHTER].
[Lynda:] What do you think we might have done.
[Chris:] is it not in the miscellaneous file?
[Lynda:] No.
[Chris:] I've no idea. Absolutely no idea Lynda, I haven't taken it out.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Yes. Did I send a message to them, erm, I, I didn't send a message, no I'm sure I didn't send a message chasing them saying how about a fresh order or whatever.
[Lynda:] No, neither.
[Chris:] No, no, I can't think why we can't find.
[Lynda:] ...
[Chris:] I think we might miss out on the er stimulant today Lynda.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Oh your running Kate across, yes, yes, yes.
[Lynda:] How..
[Chris:] So she's flitting around here and there, yes. I don't know which school the girl next door goes to but she's doing her erm, [clears throat] A levels and er her term's already finished.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Officially she is not at school any more.
[Lynda:] No, I mean,.
[Chris:] Hm.
[Lynda:] That there looks familiar in with the.
[Chris:] Was in where?
[Lynda:] It was in a.
[Chris:] Has that got it's own file still?
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Chris:] Good heavens. It's rather a long time isn't it?
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Well a, yes, of course were clear out the file drawer, but then with got to find somewhere else to put the blessed stuff haven't we?
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] WARM, the Wood Burning Association of Retailers and Manufacturers.
[Lynda:] Oh.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]. It's all so obvious isn't it!
[Lynda:] Why do we know how much be?.
[Chris:] .
[Lynda:] I think I'd better go.
[Chris:] Oh right, yes, yes O K. Fed up with this, need progress.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Here let me fix it for you. It is so darned difficult to decide the ones that'll go, turn into anything.
[Lynda:] No.
[Chris:] Most of them don't do they? It's odd the ones that do sometimes. [yawn] Excuse me.
[Lynda:] It might just be worth asking question that the guy. He must need to know it for other reasons.
[Chris:] Yes, it's a good point.
[Lynda:] That should take him a long time to.
[Chris:] It is a good point.
[Lynda:] Right, I'm.
[Chris:] Good, bon appetite.
[Lynda:] Won't have time to appetite.
[Chris:] Oh I should make it if I were you.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Yes, cheerio. [yawn]
[Lynda:] I'll take my radio.
[Chris:] Oh right, yes.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Ciao.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Oh dear. Moved the car [tv on].
[Bill:] Right, right.
[Chris:] .
[Bill:] I don't do that...
[Chris:] Don't chop the fence in two [LAUGHTER] a drastic time there. Mm. Mm mm.
[Bill:] cutting down the other end. A stake be that big in there.
[Chris:] Yes
[Bill:] Big, it's not.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Bill:] Three.
[Chris:] Oh.
[Bill:] His still running.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Bill:] Yeah, [LAUGHTER], got a for it.
[Chris:] The... the... the trouble is it's not... not... not that wrong with the fence but the ivy's so thick, it's been there so long hasn't it? Hopeless, anyway I'll move the car out Bill.
[Bill:] O K.
[Chris:] Thanks.
[Bill:] If you don't mind, do you come round here and...
[Chris:] Yes fine, if... if... if you're happy too Bill, thank you.
[Bill:] It's not disturbing you in there is it?
[Chris:] No, no, I mean the hoover's going [LAUGHTER].
[Bill:] Oh.
[Chris:] The washing machine an and everything, everything, no problem Bill.
[Bill:] I mean,iv... ivy really does go doesn't it? Incredible.
[Chris:] All that in there must have been that thick.
[Bill:] Yes, tree, all amongst the
[Chris:] Yes.
[Bill:] What'll you plan to do with the bed, when you've cleared it all out?
[Chris:] I'll just go and, dug it, dig it all up.
[Bill:] Mm.
[Chris:] match that up with that. Yeah. So I was
[Bill:] So get rid of that bit of fence?
[Chris:] No, keep that here, so I can just angle get the car in.
[Bill:] Yes, yeah, that's good.
[Chris:] Drive the car straight into here, I got that.
[Bill:] Will... will the tree here, will you be able to get the car sufficiently clear to
[Chris:] Oh yeah.
[Bill:] get access to the garage? Great, I'm on my way.
[Chris:] Well if I just leave the car at this angle, pointed out that way.
[Bill:] Yes, yes, great.
[Chris:] It's just that... outside of it.
[Bill:] Yes, yes.
[Chris:] And I'm not a great lover of weeding, cos...
[Bill:] No, I... I... don't blame you, yep, pull this.
[Chris:] Gherkin for you?
[Norrine:] Get out a small one.
[Chris:] That one isn't, but there are, I'll get you one.
[Norrine:] half a one.
[Chris:] So, do you feel your shopping was successful this morning?
[Norrine:] Quite successful, yeah,. Delivered to Veronica.
[Chris:] Ah yes. Is there any oil and vinegar on here?
[Norrine:] No, cos there's sauce of...
[Chris:] meat.
[Norrine:] No.
[Chris:] Quite amazing how the Queen Mother... keeps on doing her so many public engagements.
[Norrine:] Yes, she ninety now?
[Chris:] Ooh over, yes, mm, ninety last year, had a special parade didn't they?
[Norrine:] must be advantage of getting ready and being prepared for her and
[Chris:] Mm. Yes, she's waited on,
[Norrine:] Taxi-ing from door to door or you know
[Chris:] Mm
[Norrine:] your plans made up and your meals laid on. I, Susan's thinking of...
[Chris:] Right. Yes. I think Joyce has got one up.
[Norrine:] She's got what?
[Chris:] Planning application, notice, for her first floor extension over the garage. That wall
[Norrine:] downstairs.
[Chris:] over their downstairs loo.
[Norrine:] Oh.
[Chris:] More for you?
[Norrine:] Is the office still being occupied?
[Chris:] No, not occupied. No it's not actually, busy.
[Norrine:] pouring in here.
[Chris:] Well we had one or two earlier this week, I must say. Nothing today.
[Norrine:] Still... still.
[Chris:] No. What is on your programme tomorrow?
[Norrine:] Nothing, well nothing. I'm having hair.
[Chris:] What type is that?
[Norrine:] I think it's called. Presumably I need to get some food for next week.
[Chris:] Erm...
[Norrine:] Of course, deliver that material...
[Chris:] I was wondering if you fancy going to Ming's tomorrow evening?
[Norrine:] Well that's a generous offer...
[Chris:] Will Snoopy be out and about?
[Norrine:] I don't know what Snoopy's doing. I know she's planning the cinema tonight. I don't know if there's anything on tomorrow... Maybe we ought to go this evening if she's there to work.
[Chris:] Yes, are we free this evening? Yes we are aren't we?
[Norrine:] Well I didn't book in all the time, cos....
[Chris:] Oh. Yes by all means.
[Norrine:] Mark and up the road,.
[Chris:] Sure. How on earth that fellow reckons his pin down regime could have been positive. That's the guy isn't it. It's extraordinary.
[Norrine:] agree, like the way he's standing.
[Chris:] Doesn't it just.
[Norrine:] I wouldn't mind children with problems.
[Chris:] Yep....
[Norrine:] punishment
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] I hope she didn't find it as easy as she told them, if you shut them up in their room.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] There's not a lot they can do is there?
[Chris:] No.
[Norrine:] children's right, I should think.
[Chris:] Mm. I agree. And I agree they're going to sue him...
[Norrine:] these days... Do it for money, everything right.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] going to teachers, staffed.. The more you educate your teachers, the more they're going towards. I'm not saying if there's an argument against educating them.
[Chris:] Do you think there is an argument for finding natural teachers as opposed to set of people to get on with the job?
[Norrine:] How would you find them to start with?
[Chris:] I don't know.
[Norrine:] You can't, you aren't saying that teaching is to, is a skill, that can't, isn't, teaching is now a skill in?
[Chris:] No I'm not, but I'm saying that some people probably have a natural, a natural teaching ability.
[Norrine:] But how do you know when you're eighteen, whatever, is a natural teaching ability or merely a wish to try it?
[Chris:] Maybe eighteen is not the right age to be recruiting teachers.
[Norrine:] recruit. Well how do you know you're going to be a doctor, or anything when you're eighteen then, you know, you can't, you're teaching.
[Chris:] No, I accept it. Accept that.
[Norrine:] I mean it is a longer training now, what it used to be. standard is required. I think you need a lot of knowledge, especially nowadays when they're insisting on all this national curriculum, you've got to have a very broad ability. And then of course you need and you're going to avoid chance like this and or whoever you. You've got to be educated in child development and child psychology and the emotional development of children as well as their physical and educational intellectual
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] You've got to have all that side of it, and if you're in teaching it's a bit ridiculous to be in any job if you don't know something about the history of it. I mean no one 's suggesting doctors sit and learn all the theory of and the history of the development of medicine, but I'm sure that it's important to have some knowledge of your area.
[Chris:] Mm. Yes.
[Norrine:] So you wouldn't just push it all out, and how do you discuss new educational reforms if you haven't any idea about the original... previous...
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] reformat I mean you've got to be you, knowledgable about your, the area in which you work, so I don't think you can just wipe out the history of education that's irrelevant.
[Chris:] No.
[Norrine:] In fact there's a great argument teaching teachers a lot more about the legal areas these days as a teaching. Instead of just relying on your union,.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Knowing your responsibilities and your rights. there's a four year, you think they'd fit quite a lot into that, cos a lot of it is holiday.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] and a lot of it erm, teaching. Teaching, terribly important, but I suppose teaching
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Not just.
[Chris:] Yes indeed.
[Norrine:] You know, you need to be really helpful when your teachers, your class you're put in to. responsibility as well as the next college lecturers, that'll help you.
[Chris:] Yes indeed.
[Norrine:] Which isn't. Would you like coffee and biscuits or would you like some fruit or a piece of bread and jam or what do you fancy?
[Chris:] I'll have some fruit first please. It's quite a lurid apple isn't it? Oh. I didn't get round to ringing Christine last night.
[Norrine:] I couldn't get through to yes her number's still engaged, unless it's been reported.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] She might have just had it off the hook yesterday.
[Chris:] Come on.
[Norrine:] Students with O A level passes for ninety three percent of training teachers... Eight out of ten graduates have a good second class honours degree. It's not such a high percentage in maths as it is... Twelve and a half thousand early retirements in eighty nine.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] Four thousand retirements through ill health, doubles the number to eighty seven.
[Chris:] Aha.
[Norrine:] A good honours graduate now has a starting salary of eleven thousand five hundred, why should good honours graduate teachers earn fifty percent medical, medical practitioner, seventy five percent less than new accountants or eighty percent less than new civil engineers?
[Chris:] Yes, it's not, they've turned it into a total university trained job erm, people haven't given award.
[Norrine:] Well apparently used to be trained.
[Chris:] No, taken them, they're taken to be professionals though aren't they?
[Norrine:] That would be the theory.
[Chris:] Professionally speaking. I've never had taken that.
[Norrine:] Educational is not seen as a vital part of national right, that must be somebody... The wages earned by unskilled workers in Germany are twice as high as those earned by teachers here...
[Chris:] likely don't it?...
[Norrine:] across the board trouble is when you get these differential spend all the interpretation on them, not that you're rewarding the good teachers but that some teachers are not worth rewarding. Now if you really are a weak teacher...
[Chris:] out.
[Norrine:] Then your... then your feelings perhaps don't matter in the overall picture of the education, but bearing in, looking at the teachers in our school, we, we really don't have a weak teacher except perhaps Mr, who's obviously not been well these last three years, erm
[Chris:] He is weak on discipline.
[Norrine:] He is very high in his guild his musical know, gets a lot of work from the children and the children really like his classes.
[Chris:] So does that mean that he is a good teacher of music, he's just not a good disciplinarian?
[Norrine:] To be a teacher you've got to have control of your children and you can't
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] possible, however good you are at your subject.
[Chris:] Right, right.
[Norrine:] You must have control of your class, sometimes if you don't, under, when I say he's a weak teacher I don't mean he's a bad teacher. I wouldn't single him out, I would just say he's not a strong teacher for the reason that he's only got part of it under his belt properly yet.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] But, you know, you can't, you might say well this teacher doesn't have such good displays on her wall, but then she might be ever so good at another area, I mean is not a display lady, she doesn't have artistic creative sort of flair like say Polly did
[Chris:] Yep.
[Norrine:] but...
[Chris:] Well there's nobody in this school has it like Polly did.
[Norrine:] Well... Ms 's pretty good.
[Chris:] Is she?
[Norrine:] And Vicky is very good.
[Chris:] Mm, yes.
[Norrine:] And Polly always used to say how good Lynn was, reckoned she could make a good career in designer living.
[Chris:] Oh yeah.
[Norrine:] Erm [sniff] but Jan is one of the best organizers that I know.
[Chris:] Is she?
[Norrine:] She covers. She's terribly thorough.
[Chris:] Mhm.
[Norrine:] And her children are very, very well grounded.
[Chris:] Are they? Yes.
[Norrine:] You know, they, they really are. And that's a greatest skill in itself.
[Chris:] Mm... Yes,.
[Norrine:] Everybody's got their, erm what's her name, Jill from New Zealand, is quite young, but she has all the potential of being an excellent teacher, she's, she's very enthusiastic, very straightforward, she's...
[Chris:] What'll her experience that she had in New Zealand?
[Norrine:] I think it was Hong Kong, she had it.
[Chris:] Oh really.
[Norrine:] She had been teaching New Zealand, erm, not quite such a long training so she's had three or four years' experience.
[Chris:] Mhm.
[Norrine:] She was teaching in a private school in this country before she came to us.
[Chris:] Was she now. Oh she's not still learning then?
[Norrine:] No, but she is young all the same.
[Chris:] Is she erm
[Norrine:] But she's a very good, keen teacher.
[Chris:] Yep.
[Norrine:] But you wouldn't expect her to be as experienced as Maureen.
[Chris:] No, of course not.
[Norrine:] But in, on her level she's a very good teacher.
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Norrine:] And brings a different quality to her class.
[Chris:] Yes...
[Norrine:] And Vicky's very good, Vicky's somewhat disorganised really.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] Work in something of a muddle, but Vicky has a great eye for detail.
[Chris:] Oh.
[Norrine:] With enormous patience as well as huge fund of knowledge and skill, she's a very talented girl.
[Chris:] Mhm.
[Norrine:] For herself... Tanya's good talented as well.
[Chris:] Is she?
[Norrine:] She plays the flute and her guitar very nicely, singing in several choir. You know I wouldn't like to be the person trying to judge, oh, should be rewarded. Being cold, you know, you can give merit two of your teachers who meant to deserve it.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Well what.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Would you just say, well, I'm already.
[Chris:] Especially when all the others know what's going on.
[Norrine:] Well that's right.
[Chris:] And don't get them.
[Norrine:] implying that they're not any good, or not as good. I mean maybe we can't all be the same there's something at fault and you saying people who I think. Ah are, the best, you provide being in charge of this or being the deputy or being being a mistress.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] And that's why I choose them, so I'll give it to them.
[Chris:] They are already being rewarded.
[Norrine:] No, it's a bit of a... it's a bit of a strange thing.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] If you've got a school where there are weak teachers then you don't want to to being weak.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] I think it should. They've got somebody who'll teach them the what if they're aren't they?
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Is that it for see there's someone's milk chocolate pudding, there's a three plain top one and one with milk, eh.
[Chris:] Oh goody, goody.
[Norrine:] I bought it specially for you.
[Chris:] Thank you dear. that means they've got packets of plain ones available now.
[Norrine:] Well they haven't with me..
[Chris:] . Perhaps even real plain chocolate, wowee.
[Norrine:] I'm glad it's real. Did you see this, a baby, a four day old baby girl died after receiving the transfusion of over heated blood, which the nurse had warmed boiling water from a kettle.
[Chris:] Good grief. Where was that?...
[Norrine:] Exeter.
[Chris:] Don't get ill in Exeter.
[Norrine:] [cough]... There's a comment on the saying that, these days in cases of separation and divorce, it is only the right child which is considered. An unmarried couple
[Chris:] Mm mm.
[Norrine:] who wanted to live together, and wanted to have a child, but they wanted to know whether they would have equal rights as parents
[Chris:] Aha.
[Norrine:] could they draw up a contract, saying that they would share?
[Chris:] Mm mm.
[Norrine:] And he said yes you can, but it would do you no good at all, cos if the point came when you split up the judge wouldn't look at your contract, he would only consider the rights of the child.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] That explains why Brian didn't get a look in.
[Chris:] Yes. Yes... Good heavens, tomorrow, the day after, the whole of radio three
[Norrine:] [cough]
[Chris:] comes from St.Paul and Minneapolis, Minnesota.
[Norrine:] Why?
[Chris:] Live broadcast.
[Norrine:] Why? What's going on there?
[Chris:] Well I assume they're some sort of...
[Norrine:] Pop.
[Chris:] No hardly pop for radio three dear.
[Norrine:] For radio three yeah.
[Chris:] Twin cities weekend, don't actually say that there's a.
[Norrine:] Jacqueline Kennedy looks young there, look.
[Chris:] Good heavens, how old do you reckon she is now?
[Norrine:] Well it says it would of, J F K would have been seventy four.
[Chris:] Goodness gracious and that's his widow, how extraordinary, yes she does look young.
[Norrine:] And that's her daughter.
[Chris:] She looks very American doesn't she?
[Norrine:] Reasonable I suppose.
[Chris:] Yep.
[Norrine:] They've asked her, oh dear, four widows.
[Chris:] I thought that they appointed somebody in charge.
[Norrine:] No again.
[Chris:] Oh, mind you, they're hardly a Mr charisma they have appointed.
[Norrine:] Douglas Fairbanks married Vera Shelten, my goodness.
[Chris:] Got to be junior.
[Norrine:] Yes, but even so, he's eighty one.
[Chris:] Is he really, is Vera Shelten? They married twenty six years ago.
[Norrine:] No, they met twenty...
[Chris:] Oh met twenty six years ago, he still exactly hurry did he? Lynda seems to be staying on a bit, oh no, no, she does have to stay till two sometimes.
[Norrine:] She's been quite late lately. four o'clock.
[Chris:] Right.
[Norrine:] She said if we didn't get stuck at the. The latest threat to children recently is not just wait till your dad gets home, but, my daughter told her four week old baby, if you're not good I'll put you on the fax and send you through to daddy. [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] And the four week old probably understood it better than I do. [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] Come on Emma,.
[Chris:] Did she, aha.
[Norrine:] a little drink because she's licked a lot of mud when she came in. Goodness me, you realize there's a water shortage Emma.
[Chris:] In Belgium, Netherlands and Luxembourg, drivers will have to use dipped headlights in daylight from nineteen ninety two.
[Norrine:] Where in Luxembourg did you say?
[Chris:] Belgium, Netherlands, Luxembourg.
[Norrine:] Head... headlights in daylight.
[Chris:] In daylight. It's, it's very normal in Scandinavia, most drivers there use their dipped headlights in daylight.
[Norrine:] Well yes, we all know they live in the land of the midnight sun when it's dark all the time.
[Chris:] No, they, they're not talking about that, not talking about that.
[Norrine:] Oh you'll be happy darling.
[Chris:] Sure. Mind you anybody would think that I sold headlights.
[Norrine:] Probably do that's why.
[Chris:] Ah yes, that's right, I'm not going to tell you about it. A quarter of drivers leave their cars unlocked, I think it's rather more than that in the summer.
[Norrine:] I lock mine even in the drive here.
[Chris:] Mm, try to.
[Norrine:] What do you mean, I try to?
[Chris:] Can't get the key in the lock sometimes.
[Norrine:] You mean in your lock, why what's the problem? Shaky hand or...
[Chris:] Room against the fence.
[Norrine:] How do you manage to get out?
[Chris:] Don't know, just slippery as an eel.
[Norrine:] I know you come here, come, come on, come here, come, come on, there's a good girl, oh this is lovely, oh she's a lovely girl... Oh she's a lovely girl, good girl, wet whiskers Emma... Cloudy, misty, and with patchy drizzle, oh, oh, cloudy with patchy light rain. Cooler with isolated showers, but a bit brighter. Sounds delightful doesn't it?
[Chris:] Sorry what did you say?
[Norrine:] I'm just saying there's a not much different really. I know sometimes, still taking the day off today?
[Chris:] I guess so, it seems so, Graham, [LAUGHTER] oh, he's making people redundant, he's gone off, it's about the third time in three weeks take a day playing golf. [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] He's making people redundant, why are they, don't they have enough work? That's why he's playing golf, nothing to do?
[Chris:] Bank invitation day.
[Norrine:] Oh. What happens if you don't play golf very well? Your bank manager's quite pleased that you win?
[Chris:] Probably, yes.
[Norrine:] You really need a ha ha hammock to lie between those two pine trees.
[Chris:] So you can lie in the shade, and be dripped on. Ah [sigh]
[Norrine:] I don't really think that I should get a lot of pleasure out of going to watch croquet tomorrow.
[Chris:] Oh, alright.
[Norrine:] Probably a lot of standing about. What do you think?
[Chris:] I don't think the two of you will find it particularly entertaining.
[Norrine:] No. Whose purse is that one, it isn't Susan's is it?
[Chris:] No, that's mine. Containers, spare tapes.
[Norrine:] Quite costly doing that?
[Chris:] Yes indeed. Yes.
[Norrine:] It's in very good nick.
[Bill:] .
[Chris:] What happened to the top bar, just take it off?.
[Bill:] Take it off yeah. Yes, I've got to take it, see it's got all in underneath it. Yes, yes.
[Norrine:] . Haven't you?
[Bill:] That's got to be dug up just levelled and crazy paved.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] You're going to craze... save the.
[Bill:] Yeah, bring it, match it up with what's over [noise train].
[Norrine:] .
[Bill:] .
[Chris:] Will you leave this corner will you?
[Bill:] That's what started it, I now, this was growing amongst that.
[Norrine:] The ivy yeah.
[Bill:] Flower, definitely started it all off, once started cutting around it.
[Chris:] Hm.
[Bill:] .
[Norrine:] It's made a difference, it really has, really.
[Bill:] Yeah I so.
[Norrine:] You'll be able to get out of the car know darling, instead of climbing into the hedge won't you?.
[Chris:] Well I won't, I won't have the noss, nice soft ivy too fall into. [LAUGHTER].
[Bill:] .
[Norrine:] [LAUGHTER].
[Bill:] same colour as the er...
[Chris:] Yes, but it looks as if it is in good nick.
[Bill:] Yeah.
[Norrine:] Oh the weather.
[Bill:] Little bit of the gravel borders gone,.
[Chris:] That's pretty normal isn't it?
[Norrine:] The ivy.
[Bill:] I said I've done, I've done both the sides of the, my garden and Maureen's garden.
[Chris:] Really.
[Bill:] Yeah, all this ehm, twelve foot lengths, er six inches by half inch thick wood, and I had enough to do er what are they, seventy five, three seventy five foots, two thirty foots.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Bill:] Yeah.
[Chris:] Smashing.
[Bill:] Cos I, a friend of mine works for Young's and got the gravel rails and all that.
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Norrine:] .
[Bill:] I left a sack of them behind the shed there, forgot all about them.
[Norrine:] .
[Chris:] They've probably burnt them know. [LAUGHTER].
[Bill:] Yeah, I don't suppose they looked behind them. Large conifers there, behind the conifers to get too them.
[Chris:] Hm.
[Bill:] But ehm, yeah,. if they do save the fence the wood onto rather than re-do a fence terrible isn't it.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, that... that's what it's for, isn't it.
[Bill:] Hm. Hm.
[Chris:] It looks as if you've got a spare as well down there.
[Bill:] You can have that, get that. You never know, you wanna buy another bit of wood, put it on top of that.
[Chris:] Oh yes that's in poor nick isn't it.
[Bill:] It's not that, with creosote, that's that old green fence door.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Bill:] And with the creosote on it, it look's like new.
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[Bill:] So I just with that in the doors with creosote. I like those.
[Chris:] Hm hm.
[Norrine:] Yes they're nice.
[Bill:] I wish that all the bottoms gone on that one. I just, I don't know,, gonna throw them away really.
[Norrine:] No.
[Chris:] No. No, well you don't have too do you?
[Bill:] No, this one, I'll leave this one, I want to leave that there.
[Chris:] Yeap.
[Bill:] take that down and I've got to do that.
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[Bill:] .
[Chris:] Yeah, very good.
[Norrine:] See it gives the character's to the house, the house with.
[Chris:] Hm.
[Bill:] That's when, when we come to do the windows, we've got to go back too the...
[Chris:] The little square's the original ones, yes good.
[Bill:] And the, cos they took, they took the doors and put a big window there. I mean.
[Chris:] Yes that, I, I, have a feeling that the original frame rotted.
[Bill:] Rotted.
[Chris:] There.
[Bill:] Oh.
[Chris:] I... I... I think it, it was not well maintained and rusted, rusted, and rusted and it was just impossible to do anything.
[Bill:] .
[Chris:] Hm.
[Bill:] I like that where.
[Norrine:] sun the house.
[Chris:] Yeap, yeap. Oh, when the lads did this, they went to great trouble to actually find the right sort of windows and what have you.
[Norrine:] match.
[Chris:] Had... had the top been specially... glazed ehm, ehm, what I mean, barred.
[Bill:] .
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] So that it looked as if it belonged to the house.
[Bill:] Hm.
[Norrine:] Cos a couple of doors further on they, they there's and they got a completely different front and window and it looks like an addition.. It is a bit chilly isn't it?
[Bill:] Yes just a bit.
[Chris:] Yes, yes [LAUGHTER] carry on working Bill. [LAUGHTER].
[Norrine:] .
[Bill:] .
[Norrine:] I'm not sure I'll still be here if I bought Chris all of this.
[Chris:] What's that?
[Norrine:] A strimmer.
[Chris:] Well no, it... it... it shears doesn't it.
[Bill:] Electric shears.
[Chris:] Electric shears. Yes. Yes, you can get use to carving the joint any way Bill [LAUGHTER].
[Norrine:] If you don't want that black bit, you have to prune that.
[Chris:] Oh, she can trim the dog with it. [LAUGHTER].
[Norrine:] prune with spring, but, then, once the flowering that green one needs cutting back, but again it needs all the old wood taking out and the new wood in.
[Chris:] Yeap, that's down too William.
[Norrine:] Oh oh Emma.
[Bill:] Living up to it's name eh. [LAUGHTER]..
[Norrine:] Ah. Come on Emma.
[Chris:] Cheerio.
[Norrine:] You beast, you big girl.
[Chris:] Shall I ring and book Ming's?
[Norrine:] Do you like any of that? Or would
[Chris:] Yes
[Norrine:] you prefer it tomorrow?
[Chris:] tonight.
[Norrine:] Would you prefer it tomorrow?
[Chris:] I don't honestly mind one way or another.
[Norrine:] It doesn't personally matter to me, it just like feel
[Chris:] It ties with the... with the arrangements bit, if you liked to do that would you?
[Norrine:] Mm I'd love too.
[Chris:] Good, let's do that then, I'll... I'll, I'll give them a ring now. Yes, fine, yes, yes, but if we can get in tonight we'll do that.
[Norrine:] I'm sure Suzanne wouldn't mind if we ate out tomorrow, and it's.
[Chris:] She's probably a bit miffed that she's not coming with us. [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] Tomorrow would be quite nice because I'm having my hair done tomorrow.
[Chris:] Well.
[Norrine:] Go tomorrow.
[Chris:] Shall we include Suzanne if she's free? I can book a table for two and ring them up and make it three, if eh, what, what time would you like to eat tomorrow?
[Norrine:] About eight.
[Chris:] About eight, eat tomorrow O K.
[Norrine:] That sounds fine with you?
[Chris:] That sounds just fine to me. Just fine, the... the... erm no I shall
[Norrine:] Say it again.
[Chris:] I shall come back in time, no I was just thinking that, the, the erm
[Norrine:] You sure
[Chris:] the croquet might continue. Have you finished with that? I'll put it away.
[Norrine:] If you're starting at two, want to be there for...
[Chris:] Till hours, hours, hours
[Norrine:] Eight o'clock even
[Chris:] no I agree with you, I agree with you. No, I'll... I'll... I'll ring them up and book it for eight.
[Norrine:] So you're bound to, you... you can get somewhere one deals work and erm
[Lynda:] Hiya.
[Chris:] All well?
[Lynda:] Aha.
[Chris:] We have a naked fence now.
[Lynda:] Yes, but he,.
[Chris:] Well I think Bill's chopped all the ivy off it.
[Lynda:] the ivy as well?
[Chris:] Is he doing something to the tree? I noticed that
[Lynda:] I thought the tree had been eh...
[Chris:] Maybe it has the tree. Hadn't specially noticed that. Certainly into the ivy he was having a crack at. the fence is in surprisingly good nick underneath it. Yes.
[Lynda:] Any happenings? Mm.
[Chris:] Midland Bank received our letter of credit yesterday, at twelve thirty, our documents was twelfth of May, have not yet been checked.
[Lynda:] Right.
[Chris:] That's right. She said, we'll ring you about any discrepancies on Monday [LAUGHTER] didn't actually say we'll ring you about the discrepancies on Monday [LAUGHTER]. I didn't wish to disillusion her. [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] Have one up, they're all slightly different these credits, so
[Chris:] Mm.
[Lynda:] so, check about two...
[Chris:] I seemed to have got a significantly better offer on this. which is potentially exciting.
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] No, from.
[Lynda:] Oh.
[Chris:] They...
[Lynda:] Out of the blue?
[Chris:] Well hardly out of the blue, they asked for it a week ago. [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] I see.
[Chris:] though that again is questionable. The implication has been all along that they're using the same United States manufacturing source but in fact there are one or two discrepancies here, erm, because the value is so high, I'm actually sort of going through and looking at everything... pretty closely, and they've changed the basis so wow,. Cos we're talking of the same product, one, one, quotes ninety six dollars and the other quotes a hundred and thirty seven dollars.
[Lynda:] That's a different.
[Chris:] That's quite enough to want to treble check isn't it? Question is, how much of it do we pass on? [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] Is associate.
[Chris:] Yes, it's the...
[Lynda:] what have they said about the offer they've had already?
[Chris:] Erm, yes they have,for... forgive me, I'll just finish this if you don't mind, I'm, I'm almost there, one O ten point three eight. Well erm... he came back on the twenty fourth, no, never mind that [LAUGHTER] we... we've been to-ing and fro-ing have Asian Associates and I and...
[Lynda:] Is there a deadline on it?
[Chris:] Not as such so they're pressing for an answer, the factory, but erm, he came back and said we'd need firm prices, per kilo price, lump sum price not acceptable, customer offer of sixteen Deutschmark per kilo from, for twelve to fourteen with delivery, your request for those credit verified five months not acceptable, you offer to deliver in eight weeks in which case and we'd get till twelve weeks, please confirm. U S factory is booked, bulk order, pushing delivery out to twelve weeks, Deutschmark sixteen ki... kilos unlikely, could only break our offer down to price per piece or packet. Five months were allowed for dispatch of last welding rods and elsie transfers on opening and presentation. I wrote back saying, get on with it, and incidentally we overestimated the shipment cost, brought it down to about half, got to be awfully careful there, because some of these bits are so big, they, and today he said, customer will make decision only after ten days, since final size of assortment is under preparation, meantime with your offered price and revised delivery time, it looks very difficult to book this order. Price of electrodes is, seems alright, however plate prices are very high. Please offer per piece or kilo. Now have changed it from per kilo to per piece.
[Lynda:] How had you offered? [phone rings] Would you have the choice?
[Chris:] I don't, you'd off offer per kilo.
[Lynda:] Eggs and bacon and fried bread, it's about half past nine, to do something else, but he came tearing in, I've got to go to the office, she said, as though it was my fault, and he'd rung to make sure everything was alright, got no reply, and suddenly remembered that his secretary was going to have appointment, there's nobody there, so
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] took off like a bat out of heaven.
[Chris:] Oh should of been more organized. Oh really.
[Lynda:] He did get. I left a message about but eh
[Chris:] O K, good. I'd like to put a little business down his way.
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] Joan looked at him as though she thought that's exactly what it was [LAUGHTER], really...
[Chris:] It's quite something, that Noreen's taken to the typewriter, she hates it.
[Lynda:] . I was getting a new typewriter.
[Chris:] [sigh] Yes, also all that isn't it?
[Lynda:] Mm.
[Chris:] Bingo... what... what, what, what, what, what, what.
[Lynda:] Wasn't what you were expecting was it?
[Chris:] No, I think that might be because it doesn't include the welding grants, but even so, let's have a look at, down here Yeah, that's cost, [LAUGHTER], no it isn't here, yes it is. Gordon Bennett, that's an enormous saving.
[Lynda:] Does he?
[Chris:] Ooh ah... The trouble is the figures keep changing, all the rest of it, you have to stay rather more alert than you choose. [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] Go to.
[Chris:] There's a po... potential for a cock up is enormous.
[Lynda:] Probably never truly know order.
[Chris:] That's right. Well, I can re-offer this at five hundred and sixty to the half thousand dollars, instead of, six hundred and eleven thousand, six hundred, that sounds like a ten percent reduction to me. Right, now. How does he know... the plate price is high, he didn't make that quite, when I only gave him a total price
[Lynda:] Well I'm in...
[Chris:] including the. Price of electrodes seems alright, however, plate prices are very high.
[Lynda:] Well I, I've typed.
[Chris:] You did, so he's come, he's knocking that list off the total figure, with, because that list was higher, subsequently I've managed to knock it down by about three or four percent anyway, erm, he's, he's knocking off a bigger sum than he should to produce a smaller welding price.
[Lynda:] Not the other way round.
[Chris:] No, I don't think so, no, no. But I mean, that is a...
[Lynda:] What would you do re-offer the whole thing?
[Chris:] Yes I'm going to. There are some slight variations in it, and it's come from a different U S mill and, for example, there are three items at the end which were required and you offered us six millimetres, they're now six point three five millimetres, which is quarter inch, that's fine, erm....
[Lynda:] offered initially, you see, and then went back and do better.
[Chris:] offered initially and they were followed up by Philip of Singapore and erm
[Lynda:] Look at the
[Chris:] It was, it was indeed, yes, yes, yes, the original one where you added ten, ten, and erm, quote I think B C three New York.
[Lynda:] Yes, the flight was in. They were going to do the freight costs, to get any idea out of freight.
[Chris:] Yes...
[Lynda:] Might be our reward for doing [LAUGHTER]. No.
[Chris:] We... we haven't got the order yet Lynda, but in the what sorry...
[Lynda:] actually clearing up the.
[Chris:] And we're still owed thirty five pounds, fifty.
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER] I was doing exactly what we were told to do.
[Chris:] Ah.
[Norrine:] So is he under a misunderstanding about the erm, the erm, erm
[Chris:] Probably.
[Norrine:] [LAUGHTER] I think he thinks they're cheap.
[Chris:] The welding rods.
[Norrine:] Welding rods.
[Chris:] Erm
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] Yes, but I've, I've only given him a lump figure you see.
[Norrine:] actually.
[Chris:] Quite deliberately, because, that, I mean, his part of his message today, for goodness sake, is, since final size assortment is under preparation.
[Norrine:] That means they're going to take the matter, is that what he's saying?
[Chris:] No way, no way. I'm going to get you to type this on Monday.
[Norrine:] Do you want it typed now?
[Chris:] Have you got time?
[Norrine:] Well I'm only doing figures that can be, wait until Monday....
[Chris:] It might
[Norrine:] They work tomorrow don't they?
[Chris:] Yes, I haven't got welding rods and the stuff at this moment, but I can incorporate that.
[Norrine:] It's going to take me some time to type that list.
[Chris:] Yes, I'm afraid it is Lynda, erm
[Norrine:] By the time I've got to the end of that I'd be.
[Chris:] Yes I know it, erm... I suggest we type it for faxing, have we got fax for these?
[Norrine:] I don't know. It might be easier to get... I don't think we can have banks, because I would of.
[Chris:] No, quite, quite. Just trying to think where, we might find his, the fax.
[Norrine:] Erm, in the, maybe in the, probably telex things.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] It is, it is getting a bit daft, isn't it?
[Norrine:] . Also don't know what to do with it when we have it.
[Chris:] Yes, well, commandeer, hire half of Bill's shed I think. On second thoughts we could plasticize and sit on it on the patio.
[Norrine:] [LAUGHTER]. Alright doing it with again.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]. Then we'll have to tip someone on the floor.
[Norrine:] You'd they think.
[Chris:] Yes, er, no, yonks and yonks, yonks, yonks, yonks ago we had one for a it's from them, absolutely ages ago... So that's that lot...
[Norrine:] If it's anywhere it'll be here.
[Chris:] You see they've quoted C Freight, New York to Bombay, and it probably includes F O B New York on fifty tons, twenty thousand six hundred and fifty five U S dollars, now that is over four hundred dollars per ton, know that sounds generous to me Lynda.
[Lynda:] When you think you can go all the way from here to New Zealand for what, what was it?
[Chris:] Well, well
[Lynda:] Ninety pounds.
[Chris:] Remember that you've got some fairly chunky stuff here, you've got some pieces which weigh an awful lot, where's the...
[Lynda:] You'd you'd think the.
[Chris:] I'm talking by ton, yeah.
[Lynda:] Yeah, but what difference do you, do you think there might be a premium to pay for.
[Chris:] Heavy chunks, er there's no way you're going to get some of this stuff into big big boxes erm, and I mean some of it, there's one piece here eight point nine metres long. Nine point six metres long, it's heavy and it's awkward. Seven, two fifty millimetres long, six point eight metres long, and when it's seven point two five metres by three point eight five metres, that's sixteen feet by thirty two feet, ehm, and it's thirteen millimetres thick, it ain't half gonna weigh. [LAUGHTER].
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER]. You... you... need... need... more... more than one man to pick it up.
[Chris:] Yes, I mean that's well over three tonnes a piece. Jolly good eh.
[Lynda:] I'd be actually move it. Well if that's their estimate, if it's possible that they're right, have you already then?.
[Chris:] I queried it, I mean she gave me a precise figure of twenty thousand, and six hundred and fifty five something or other.
[Lynda:] But you haven't reduced that too.
[Chris:] Well I actually went back and said I don't think it's going to cost anything, I told him original twenty four thou-, and I've halved it too about twelve thou.
[Lynda:] Twenty.
[Chris:] Twelve thou, you see, I'm just wondering whether I should quote on a C I F basis... which I can do you see, on the basis of, this if I add it up.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] You see, it's another five per cent. Ah.
[Norrine:] I think it's probably going to be more frustrating to have a fax sitting there and you can't get through.
[Chris:] Yes I agree.
[Norrine:] So shall I make a fresh cup of tea?
[Chris:] Thank you, that was lovely, lovely, lovely, erm it's Mr, erm, and I suppose we ought to, no,ju... ju... just can you just pause a mo on it please because I'm just looking at the possibilities, there are two names that John has found us instrumentations.
[Norrine:] Oh right. No he wanted
[Chris:] Right, that's, that's O K.
[Norrine:] I've done one.
[Chris:] I did actually say to John, that we would look
[Norrine:] That the instruction instrument Sheffield.
[Chris:] He... he... he says they're probably a bit of a general, but you can always ask them for their catalogue.
[Norrine:] Yes. I thought, I honesty did.
[Chris:] Mhm. Oh, can't get the bag open. [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Ah [sigh] Would you like to record a song for posterity Lynda?
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER]. Er, I.
[Chris:] Yeah, well I'll enjoy it.
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] There are several items here Lynda which are two piece construction. How we choose to do that, I don't mind. Ah, well, we want to say at the bottom items one five seven and twenty four are two piece construction. I think that's probably the best way of doing, leaving it out of the body, I've underlined it in each case here
[Lynda:] Right.
[Chris:] just so that we make, oops, ha, ha, almost erm, the red prices are per piece C I F, C two. C I F, C two, alright, a a aha, dollars, dollars, O K?
[Susan:] Hi dad.
[Chris:] Hi Snoop how are you?
[Susan:] Alright thanks.
[Chris:] Had a great day?
[Susan:] . Yeah O K, where did you get this dad?
[Chris:] Oh it's a from a, it's a survey thing.
[Susan:] Survey, what are they taping your business?
[Chris:] No, no, no, they're er, actually recording sound, the sound of us for prosperity.
[Susan:] Oh, really.
[Chris:] Yes it is, it is, yes. It's er going into an archive, got lots of papers. Oh it just happened that way. No afraid not.
[Susan:] Oh
[Chris:] Bad luck.
[Lynda:] T S B four O nine or one three four O nine?
[Chris:] B four O nine.
[Lynda:] B, and you changed items three,.
[Chris:] Yes, that's right.
[Lynda:] Do you want two piece construction to go in as they've done it, or just one trip in the end?
[Chris:] I suggest we put it once at the end as erm, item so and so, so and so, so and so, are two piece construction.
[Lynda:] You've written one in, that where they've.
[Chris:] Where? Sorry. Oh yes, his cha... yes the... the size changed, I corrected the size on it, alright, your two or three feet is where they corrected and my pencil figure is the correct figure in those cases.
[Lynda:] Right.
[Chris:] Aha.
[Lynda:] Do you have a reference or anything?
[Chris:] Ah, no we don't I just head it, eight hundred H T
[Lynda:] Do you want my fax phone on the tape? That'll be a real bonus wouldn't it?
[Chris:] I... I Well it's supposed to be spoken English dear, I don't think, unless you can actually make it speak, it'll be terribly helpful.
[Lynda:] Make it.
[Chris:] Ha, ha, would you close the kitchen doors, so that we don't get the washing machine singing too loudly for us, thank you. No, no, it's not ink oil at all, it's alloy, eight hundred H T.
[Lynda:] Eight hundred.
[Chris:] A S T N B four O nine U N S N N one one. Include the trade name of and we're not buying. At least if we are, they're keeping awfully quiet about it. [LAUGHTER] Yes from a different U S mill I think we can say. Is that making sense Lynda?
[Lynda:] that doesn't.
[Chris:] Yeah.
[Lynda:] Very, very.
[Chris:] I agree with you, yes, I agree with you, but eh, it's surprising how much more competitive it is. The metals remain nice and weak, I do wish... wish we'd get on and get those orders in. He's gonna wait till the copper price zooms up again, then he'll be back, he never did, order those aluminum rods you know last year.
[Lynda:] No. Getting to be a hobby.
[Chris:] Darn it. Yes.
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] No, no I'd... I rather suspect that the erm, the cancelled the contract. Well if they, they may have bought from Japan or something of that sort, erm, gotta little bit stronger yesterday, one seven one three five in New York. Was it? Bill's really enjoying himself out there isn't he?
[Lynda:] .
[Chris:] Goodness knows, demolishing by the sound of it. [sigh]
[Lynda:] Right, erm, delivery on, please except work or...
[Chris:] Two weeks ex works yes. Te... yes erm currently twelve weeks ex works erm.
[Lynda:] Do you know where in America?
[Chris:] No, no, I wouldn't worry about that, er then, put,cur... currently la la la la twelve weeks ex U S er U S factory, U S mill. Erm, plus delivery time to New York and waiting time for suitable vessel, how about that, really ratting it in. We'd love a cup of tea, yeah. [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] Plus shipment time to India,.
[Chris:] Plus sea transit, or something that sort, yes, yes. Erm, and then after that, no,car... carry on with that, let... let's get that one out of the way... Erm, I think we'd better say, detailed were in electrode, prices to follow. Cos I'm actually looking at that.
[Lynda:] Right.
[Chris:] Re-hashing it. Erm, oh let me just find the papers, see what... No I don't think there's anything else that we can usefully say on there.
[Lynda:] You've already said, you want from credit, mm yes you have.
[Chris:] Yes I'm certain I have elsewhere. Yes. Yes. Thank you for all that Lynda that's great.
[Lynda:] I'm, I, well I have to put this really ought to go in.
[Chris:] Well erm, ha ha ha ha may I, may I have a look at it?
[Lynda:] Mm, don't forget the.
[Chris:] Looks super to me Lynda.
[Lynda:] Well it probably rounded off to have a total VIF I mean, re-date the IFUT from there.
[Chris:] Mm, mm, I think I'd better check it before we let it go on.
[Lynda:] Well I was just about to do that.
[Chris:] With, were you? Great. Tear that, thank you. Do... do, do you want to actually read through figures?
[Lynda:] If you like then, I mean I've done it.
[Chris:] Right, let... let, let me do the reading. Three pieces, thirteen by sixteen fifty five by eight, eight, O, five at one five, nine, nine five point six two each. Three pieces, thirteen by three eight, fifty by seven two fifty at thirty six four O, point two six each. Three pieces, thirteen by five fifty by twelve fifty at seven hundred and fifty six ninety. Three pieces, thirteen by two eight fifty, by two eight fifty, eight nine twenty three point O three. Three pieces, thirteen by one O five by seven six O at ninety six, ninety one. Two pieces, thirteen by two four O, by one O eight O, at two ninety nine, forty seven. Three pieces, thirteen by nine hundred by eight nine hundred at eight seven nine three point two five. Three pieces, thirteen by twelve hundred by eight seven fifty at eleven five twenty seven, fifty five. Three pieces, thirteen by four thousand by seven two hundred at three one six one eight point four, four. One piece thirteen by four five O by eleven sixty five, five seventy six poun... dollars seventy. Three pieces, thirteen by two ten by seven two sixty at one seven five O point seven nine. [breath] Three pieces, eight by seventeen hundred by nine five, five O eleven four seven two point O two. Six pieces, eight by one fifty by sixteen ten at one seventy two point seventy two. Six pieces, eight by six twenty by six twenty, two seventy point nine two. Three pieces, eight by eighteen hundred by nine three hundred at eleven eight hundred and twelve point ninety nine. Six pieces, at sixty, six pieces, eight by one hundred by ten thirty at seventy two dollars and eight cents.
[Lynda:] This one.
[Chris:] Thank you.
[Lynda:] Three pieces, eight by five hundred by nine O five O three eighty point three. Three pieces, eight by one twenty by one three point zero at one hundred and ten pound... dollars sixty. Three pieces, fifteen by three fifty five zero by three fifty five zero by fourteen one three seven point five four. One piece, twenty by five hundred by ninety six hundred at eight zero one two Two pieces, by one six four zero by one six four zero at eleven point eight. One piece, six point three five ten point one, three three fifty, three five, five thousand by twelve hundred at six eight two point two three. Six pieces at by two thousand sixty to six point two five by forty by twelve twenty at twenty nine point six three
[Chris:] Good.
[Lynda:] items, I've got items two, four.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] Nine.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] Twelve.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] Fifteen.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] Nineteen and twenty.
[Chris:] Yes. That's all, that I can see, too pleased, but still.
[Lynda:] ...
[Chris:] I think I shall if item one is, which is quite a biggie. [LAUGHTER] Do you know I actually listened to some of this tape and I don't half sound different on the taped, the real me
[Lynda:] I sounds like the queen to me. [LAUGHTER]. Which is...
[Chris:] I, yes I... I thought I sounded much toffee-er than I feel I do.
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER] You gonna let me have a go?
[Chris:] No, no.
[Lynda:] Erm,.
[Chris:] Right, in that case I'll do it, O K.
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] How odd that I should be nine cents adrift
[Lynda:] I know.
[Chris:] in that.
[Lynda:] I know.
[Chris:] That is really odd isn't it? I agree.
[Lynda:] It's worse being nine thousand out.
[Chris:] Oh absolutely, yes, yes, I been coun... can you be nine cents out, I mean,tha... tha... there's nine of nothing there. [LAUGHTER] Mm.
[Lynda:] so I think it's being a good idea to put the don't you?
[Chris:] And, and I suggest total eh C I F C two of above is a.
[Lynda:] Well if I put it und... at the end twenty five, four one end B item two four, you know, in other words just there.
[Chris:] Yes. Fine. I... I suggest again you say, dollars, C I F C two
[Lynda:] Total, ah, oh yes I will do. Total of above.
[Chris:] Total of the above yes, yes that's great.
[Lynda:] twenty five items.
[Chris:] Yes the twenty five items above, yes, good idea. Yes.
[Lynda:] where I mucked the whole thing up trying to get the [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] And we thought that was a frightfully clever machine when it first arrived.
[Lynda:] Yeah. Who's got a posh H reg B M W?
[Chris:] Bill, next door, he's d... company d... boss of a plastics company. Yes I agree. He had a perfectly good Audi when he moved here last year, so why in the heck does he need a monster B M W like that then?
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER] Simon actually counting up the cars next door, on the drive, getting, by that knowledge wanted to keep it.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] And eh, Simon got all the mud all and he said you know when I was young, we were ahead of the, but now we're well behind [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] It... it's up to you son.
[Lynda:] It's because of it that we bought.
[Chris:] Yeah. Up to you sonny boy. I know two or three lads of the next generation beyond us who are doing in their twenties rather better than their fathers [LAUGHTER] in their fifties.
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] it's where they put the energy don't they?
[Chris:] Most of them in banking or accountancy. The thing that about Bill is, he does have an amazing amount of labour saving gear, like electric hedge shears trimmers, and erm
[Lynda:] Graham's got that.
[Chris:] He... he... he's got erm a pump for the erm, hosepipe, so that when he hoses the front or the car he's really got a spurt, yes, yes, he actually put's the hose in one side and goes sh shoots it out again.
[Lynda:] long enough.
[Chris:] Well if you're gonna get the bottom of the garden where you're downhill it's not too bad but when you're coming up here and doing as he was watering the new grass on the front he... he I mean yes he is below it it's the bottom of your storage tank in c... in the attic which counts.
[Lynda:] Doesn't your outside tap come off of me? Cos I'm.
[Chris:] Yes, oh, you may be right there Lynda you may be right.
[Lynda:] I thought.
[Chris:] Now we don't have huge, we... we.. we've turned down our thing so that we don't get the kitchen sink, which is also off the mains, brrrr splattering everywhere, so that could explain why mine isn't as good as it could be, yes you're right.
[Lynda:] actually quite strong, and I use the hose to rinse, I hose my car on Monday.
[Chris:] Yes yes. I...
[Lynda:] I've never done that before and I got drowned.
[Chris:] I assume you're right Lynda, but quite frankly I don't know.
[Lynda:] I think Graham's got a lot, things like that, we've got electric hedge trimmer, those electric erm chainsaw and rotavator
[Chris:] Mhm.
[Lynda:] and all things like that for the garden, we've got a lot of, I think the only thing that we really is a crunch-you-upper
[Chris:] Oh really.
[Lynda:] whatever they're called.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, treader.
[Lynda:] I think he would actually.
[Chris:] Yes. Did you come to any conclusion, you looked at the Which Board on that didn't you?
[Lynda:] Yeah, I came to the conclusion I couldn't afford any of it.
[Chris:] Ah, I thought perhaps you, you anticipated a husband without an arm or something.
[Lynda:] No that consideration, I think, you know if he didn't kill himself with a chainsaw he'd probably be alright with the [LAUGHTER] shredder.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] I really thought we was going to end with erm,, cos he was sitting right at the top branch, you know sawing merrily through.
[Chris:] [sigh] With, with an electric, mains electric. Oh my god. Ooh.
[Lynda:] And we've got a circuit breaker touch and go.
[Chris:] Yes, yes. Thank god he's got a circuit breaker.
[Lynda:] And I quite expected to erm, to one of the branches to bend, quite a height.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Lynda:] And the chainsaw's very heavy.
[Chris:] Yes. The number of bulldog clips on that order tray seems to Lynda, are they breeding?
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER] well. Who am I to say.
[Chris:] Do you think we can... can, yes do you think we can not get any more orders this month? Right. They said they're going to take ten days to make up their mind Lynda so we'll give them the benefit of the doubt.
[Lynda:] I think.
[Chris:] No, I can, I can just about bear the in June not a... Right. Yes please. Super. I didn't even write that one in the enquiry book, I'll do it now, now the values come down a bit. [LAUGHTER]
[Lynda:] Yeah.
[Chris:] Gosh, twelve orders are made out of it. Can't recall when we last had as many as that.
[Lynda:] No. Even. [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Well we'll except a...
[Lynda:] Where's he going wrong? I thought I was superstition and not writing in the.
[Chris:] Yes, yes I think you could be well be right there Lynda. You think it's superstition do you? Yes.
[Lynda:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Yes I'm sorry to have...
[Lynda:] Not wishing to waste the ink. [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] We're, we're six thousand seven hundred pounds short of last year's total.
[Lynda:] Six thousand, that's one. Now, do what do we consider?
[Chris:] Yes, I... I want you to add another five percent.
[Lynda:] Yeah.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Well the average is nudging fifty thousand a month Lynda.
[Lynda:] . All we got to do is keep it up, till the contact in.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Strewth I'm hungry.
[Lynda:] chips.
[Chris:] Of course, yes, he's not even, perhaps he'll bring the other pocket full of petit fours. [LAUGHTER] yes. Do they have a prize for every customer do you think one way or a
[Lynda:] I'm. Are you implying gardener.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Never occurred to me that he was anything but Lynda. I'm thinking of the other poor chaps who might not feel that they're getting cut glass decanters.
[Lynda:] . Thank.
[Chris:] Ah, this is daft, yes.
[Lynda:] Big mistake to have a private.
[Chris:] Amazing. They used Marsting that's quite yes, yes. tell me, didn't even ask me why I wanted to know. [noseblow]
[Lynda:] Looking at this.
[Chris:] Very wise of him, you taking the dog?
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] Right, I'll come with you if I may.
[Norrine:] Oh great. Erm going.
[Chris:] Yes I had a feeling you might have done, we j... we probably sent it and bamboozle him.
[Norrine:] Yes. We, that, which by the way is laboratory.
[Chris:] Ah.
[Norrine:] But it, I think it's just about it. I think it.
[Chris:] Really, yes, yes. Ha, ha, ha.
[Norrine:] But eh,.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Anyhow I see what Richard comes up with, but I, I think it might be worth saying what about the.
[Chris:] Yes, I think that's fair enough, let's get on with it and clear into out of the system anyway shall we?
[Norrine:] Got a bubble in it.
[Chris:] Yes it has, it has... Right well I hope you have a pleasant weekend.
[Norrine:] You do too.
[Chris:] Yeah, we don't have any huge, oh of course I'm croqueting aren't I? Croquet, croquet.
[Norrine:] Are you ready Chris?
[Chris:] Any second now. Leave it all till Monday Lynda, it's been a long hard week.
[Norrine:] Why is that?
[Tony:] Yes, yes, are we? Are we going to right.
[Norrine:] O K, yes, we'll do that.
[Chris:] Mrs er...
[Norrine:] Bye bye Lynda.
[Lynda:] Bye.
[Norrine:] Long way to walk today.
[Tony:] saying she's spoke to you about some development plan or something I... she said shall I bring it round to you, I said no I'll ask.
[Chris:] Yeah, quite right, eh Dillis has let planning permission.
[Tony:] I know she has and er...
[Chris:] And she's a re-applied.
[Tony:] Yeah. Is that all it's about?
[Chris:] That's all it's about, a far as I'm concerned can sort out the problem.
[Tony:] [LAUGHTER] but er
[Chris:] Ha, ha, ha, ha.
[Tony:] Something about some development plan, then she says, ah, she didn't like how the houses were laid out because one was behind the other, but I saw the plan last time and, and, and it didn't look quite bad.
[Norrine:] Seems alright, yes.
[Chris:] It... it... it's a problem isn't it?
[Tony:] Oh yeah.
[Chris:] Yes, come on Emma. In the car here dear. Yes come on. Good dog, in you go, right, thanks Tony bye. [car starting]
[Norrine:] Tony's amazing.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, it's sort of, all a bit naked isn't it?
[Norrine:] You have to clear up behind the tree bit. I don't think I'd like the idea.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] I don't want to argue with.
[Chris:] Well as I stop by for training, look for something along our side if we choose is there?
[Norrine:] Well there is really, not and then we the unfriendly.
[Chris:] Yeah, right, O K.
[Norrine:] I'd like to get, the reason I wanted to come here and go in my car
[Chris:] Oh, sorry.
[Norrine:] It's alright, we'll go in your car.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] was because I want to go via Mottingham before I go to and buy a small plant.
[Chris:] Ah, erm.
[Norrine:] And I saw them, well I think they're alright, I've got to look at them more closely, well I'd like to a, yes we are going darling, you're very excited. There Emma.
[Chris:] Don't know who that lady, looking lady who waved at me is?
[Norrine:] Have you seen Betty around lately?
[Chris:] Betty?
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] No I haven't in the last couple of days, she was around
[Norrine:] What, only in the last couple of days?
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] That's nothing.
[Chris:] Er we're going to Mottingham's centre aren't we? Gardening centre.
[Norrine:] No, it's not a gardening centre, it's a shop.
[Chris:] Oh whereabouts?
[Norrine:] In the shopping parade, I'll show you where it is.
[Chris:] Oh I see, right oh. Yes
[Norrine:] They have place that Rosemary mentioned, it's only opened on Saturdays.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] But erm, Liz is getting hassle from her insurance company about her claim on her new door.
[Chris:] Oh yes.
[Norrine:] No what happened?
[Chris:] No I don't remember your telling me.
[Norrine:] When Suzannah went down there, from last, she was strap strapping Layla into the back seat
[Chris:] Mhm.
[Norrine:] for Liz, while Liz went into the house to get something, and someone came down Hurst Road, misjudged it, and scrapped the car door, bashed Lizzie's side and scraped along side of her car, as she drove past.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] And it meant a respray on her car and a new door for Lizzie's car, sit down.
[Chris:] Right.
[Norrine:] And Jim said she was going far too fast, took up all three car lengths, parked cars to stop.
[Chris:] Phew.
[Norrine:] And, and obviously she was going to.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] And happened, opened the door any wider, cos she was still strapping the child in. Of which she had been doing as Liz left the car.
[Chris:] Yes. Was Suzannah hurt?
[Norrine:] No, she wasn't, only the car door.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] But now Lizzie's insurance company have said they'll do what they can for her, but as she had opened the door into the oncoming traffic, probably was her fault.
[Chris:] And this took place in Hurst Road? I mean...
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] tha... that's a bit of a nonsense to my mind.
[Norrine:] Well exactly, I mean there's double parking in a single line and the lady weary.
[Chris:] You can't move at more than about fifteen miles an hour maximum down Hurst Road anyway can you?
[Norrine:] Anyway, Liz is a bit annoyed because she doesn't want to lose her no claims bonus.
[Chris:] Absolutely. Absolutely right, yes.
[Norrine:] And I feel in a way slightly responsible that it was Suzannah.
[Chris:] Well I don't suppose Suzannah was doing anything she shouldn't have been.
[Norrine:] No she wasn't, but even so, you know, I said that to Liz, Liz said oh it's not, it's nothing to do with your responsibility. E... even so she has to pay the first something or other you, as one does in a claim
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] towards the new door.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] She said I've paid that, that's not a hassle or, anyway she's paid it, she's said that's not a hassle, but er, I thought well maybe I some money, I don't know, what do you normally pay on these things, twenty five, twenty six?
[Chris:] Oh its variable.
[Norrine:] But it does, so, she said she hasn't got an up to date highway code knows anything about it about taking repair in narrow street. Well I found a couple of possible useful quotes of the highway code.
[Chris:] Mm. Good.
[Norrine:] I, I'm going to...
[Chris:] if you like.
[Norrine:] Well she, I gave her the... the clause number thing.
[Chris:] Right...
[Norrine:] should be fighting for her on this not giving way
[Chris:] Well I mean, who's her broker?
[Norrine:] She doesn't have one you see.
[Chris:] Oh, she should use Jeffrey hasn't she?
[Norrine:] No, she didn't say. She feels that they're not really interested as long as, you know
[Chris:] Well I wouldn't, I, I would recommend that you tell her to contact Jeffrey, say will you take this on for me please, and ca... carry my car insurance for me in future.
[Norrine:] by prescription.
[Chris:] For anything?
[Norrine:] Well for all the.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Geraniums for one forty five each there, dear.
[Chris:] Incredibly expensive, yes.
[Norrine:] .
[Chris:] These aren't Right, do you want to go to the garden centre at Mottingham?
[Norrine:] Where's the garden centre?
[Chris:] Other end of Mottingham Lane. Oh thank you, yes. Oh hang on a minute my wallet.
[Norrine:] I've got some money.
[Chris:] I've only got three thank you. Yeah, thanks. Thank you guv, care to pay for it?
[Norrine:] Yes I've paid for it. Have to have.
[Chris:] I didn't get anything. No. They... they've got a free nylon bag in, in those where they. Right, shall we get in the car then?
[Norrine:] I don't think they make they make those any more, nobody seemed to have one yesterday
[Chris:] Really? Mm.
[Norrine:] In Bromley,.
[Chris:] Alright now.
[Norrine:] Alright.
[Chris:] Thank you.
[Norrine:] Are you good dog, are you good dog? She is.
[Chris:] We want to go back up again don't we?
[Norrine:] We can go down to that one, oh no we don't, no you're right, we want to go back up again. Unless we go from this end, yes you can go.
[Chris:] It doesn't really go through, does it?
[Norrine:] Oh, I don't mean that road, no.
[Chris:] There it is the end look.
[Norrine:] Found it, yes that's right. You got to go.
[Chris:] Aha.
[Norrine:] We have to then drive round again to get home. You can get into Mottingham when there.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] Or you can go in there.
[Chris:] We do that well.
[Norrine:] Oh, you had a good day today? Mm.
[Chris:] bring a, I knew there was something else I had to bring fabric.
[Norrine:] Did you get the library books back?
[Chris:] Not really warm is it?
[Norrine:] It isn't warm at all. Suzannah said that she might be going up tomorrow evening.
[Chris:] Aha.
[Norrine:] Not definitely.
[Chris:] Right.
[Norrine:] There's fallen tree in the park.
[Chris:] . Relatively recently.
[Norrine:] . They seemed to keep.
[Chris:] Yeah... yeah it's fascinating to think why that particular tree actually keeled over, and all the others around, it's no bigger than the others is it?
[Norrine:] don't know.
[Chris:] Well look at the size of it's trunk.
[Norrine:] It might have been.
[Chris:] It might have been, yeah, just a one.
[Norrine:] She waits all day for this, it's the best bit, this and supper.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]. It's not supper time yet Digger.
[Norrine:] Yeah. Use up all in the fridge
[Chris:] Has you got lots of bits left over?
[Norrine:] before I go shopping. Well I got some. Things never come and they have.
[Chris:] Aha.
[Norrine:] fridge require....
[Chris:] Yes. Yes, she's very disheartening the way she picks at it I should think. Very disagreeable that's for sure.
[Norrine:] Besides.
[Chris:] Yes I like it, fish pie or something.
[Norrine:] Quite incredible.
[Chris:] Cos of me.
[Norrine:] It's not.
[Chris:] No we're not in the woods proper here. This is woods. Must investigate this Mottingham garden club.
[Norrine:] I think it.
[Chris:] Well fifty pence a year, I think I might even be able to afford to belong to it. Sorry.
[Norrine:] What river would that be?
[Chris:] Would be Kidbrook I suppose would it?
[Norrine:] .
[Chris:] Oh yes, yes. Fine looking bird, is that a female?
[Norrine:] A female usually very, but, I don't know, it looks a young bird to me.
[Chris:] Good colouring anyway.
[Norrine:] You [yawn] excuse me looking old fashion, it's not like black bird or. I need something for that other tub now, I'm thinking of lobelia around the edge. I need something. Depends where we're going to put it. If we're going to keep it there on the patio,.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Like the other one,.
[Chris:] Such a naked isn't it? It could do with an awful lot more trees all over it.
[Norrine:] in the last fortnight.
[Chris:] Yes. brought dog along here. That Saturday I said I was going to collect John's suitcase from Susan.
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] Erm.
[Norrine:] Came this way?
[Chris:] I, I came this way and called on Susan, she wasn't in, I ran the dog round here and er called on Susan again and she still wasn't in, so that was that...
[Norrine:] What a good dog.
[Chris:] They're really going to town on these pavements aren't they? Amazing.
[Norrine:] I suppose they thought they're pretty bad.
[Chris:] Mm. Apparently state of pavements is the thing that people complain about most to local councils. Pretty scruffy yard isn't it?
[Norrine:] scruffy.
[Chris:] Why have you heard me say it before today... Seems strange that they need to throw out those old curb stones, you'd of imagined they could of used them again, wouldn't you?
[Norrine:] They use the. I'm gonna ask Suzanna how Sarah's getting on tonight.
[Chris:] the same time. Yes.
[Norrine:] Not.
[Chris:] Whoops. Thank you, now er.
[Norrine:] You're a girl aren't you,
[Chris:] No I've got nothing else to be doing at this moment.
[Norrine:] Been up the library.
[Chris:] Good.
[Norrine:] More books for the half term.
[Chris:] Good.
[Norrine:] Just six weeks till the end of term because I've got my books for six weeks and they've used, date stamped in them is the last day of term can't be bad can it?
[Chris:] No it can't, it'll be nice to see the back of them,.
[Norrine:] I think of the vast amount of work I've got planned for six weeks, makes me wish it was about ten.
[Chris:] I'm glad it's not.
[Norrine:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] You'll be working twenty four hours a day for those six weeks as it is.
[Norrine:] . Have a lavish party instead of a...
[Chris:] July twenty seventh.
[Norrine:] June.
[Chris:] What are you going to celebrate then?
[Norrine:] That all my reports will be done.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] Then that's all I've got to do is my records then.
[Chris:] Who you going to invite to the lunch party? Anybody else completed their reports?
[Norrine:] What on all the staff you mean?
[Chris:] Did I tell you, I mentioned to er Ray about Phil and he remembered him.
[Norrine:] Yes I think you did.
[Chris:] Some conference in Eastbourne, or whatever.
[Norrine:] You ought to remember him from Becksley, surely
[Chris:] Well they didn't teach in the same place, so why should they?
[Norrine:] True.
[Chris:] Erm, I mean, they, they met occasionally, but er, no particular reason to remember. I had quite a good chat with Ray the other day, yes, eh.
[Norrine:] Paul looks better, I seen him rushing down the road at great speed to catch the train, not looking as white as he was a few months ago.
[Chris:] Really?
[Norrine:] In fact he's getting over his illness. [clock ticking]
[Chris:] Do you think it was genuine?
[Norrine:] What do you mean by that? Did I, do I think?
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Oh why should he do that?
[Chris:] Well,. I mean it's one of those things, that eh
[Norrine:] Why on earth should he want to, they're only going to sell for his own work if he doesn't.
[Chris:] Yes. It really is a bit odd the way those two bits of the wood do not connect.
[Norrine:] Do, have you somewhere.
[Chris:] Well, the green chain walk went up in through, into the houses. So eh, I doubt that it does.
[Norrine:] . Have to look on a map. Thick dog you are Digger. Busy road to live on this isn't it?
[Chris:] Yes it is actually. Too fast.
[Norrine:] Does she find it busy?
[Chris:] Perhaps she can sell them a few sleeping policeman, I can't remember her saying so as such. I spoke to Tony today.
[Norrine:] Oh yeah, on what?
[Chris:] Oh, scientific instrumentation. Got a chap in Japan who wants some. He's a bit woolly about what he wants. Tony gave him the name of his, pal of his, who is professor of biochemical engineering as in University College, London. You're panting Digger, do you fancy a gin? eh?
[Norrine:] Just a drop of water.
[Chris:] Dog, dog size gin. A very mean one.
[Norrine:] She's alright today she's had a bone, haven't you? Yes.
[Chris:] Did she bury the Bonio yesterday or she actually end up crunching it?
[Norrine:] I bet she ate it, she's not as daft as she looks.
[Chris:] Oh, aren't you really Digger, I always thought you were pretty daft.
[Norrine:] She looks pretty. pretty. [clock ticking] Interesting that Bill's going to go to the trouble of taking out windows putting in...
[Chris:] Well John was saying to me, that eh, Bill is such a perfectionist that although he's done good works already, he will ensure that every single corner of that house will be immaculate and exactly the way he wants it, but it'll take him three or four years to do it.
[Norrine:] Oh, I think it took us about seven years to get every room in our house
[Chris:] Well, that, that was just to take down one reel of wall paper on.
[Norrine:] [LAUGHTER].
[Chris:] I hate decorating.
[Norrine:] Do you?
[Chris:] Yes, it's dreary.
[Norrine:] It's so nice. When I'm old and retired, I still got.
[Chris:] You'll take up decorating will you?
[Norrine:] No I shall not take up decorating. Shall take up gardening.
[Chris:] Oh will you, oh.
[Norrine:] People like gardening.
[Chris:] You mean your parents' house?
[Norrine:] No I mean when.
[Chris:] Oh right, yes. Sorry we didn't get any plants.
[Norrine:] Well there's no point, I, I had to stand there choosing in all that.
[Chris:] They didn't look very spectacular, I didn't know what the price was, but they certainly didn't look all that special.
[Norrine:] No the ones down the corner looked better at, but I just didn't feel like standing there in the cold.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] [clock ticking] There's another place that's selling quite good looking plants and that's White Horse Hill, erm, on the opposite side from the pub a bit further on towards.
[Chris:] Really?
[Norrine:] Yes, it's, it's a sort of newsagents come, a few little shops in the parade
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] on the right there, and they have a great rack full of plants standing there.
[Chris:] There used to be a place who, place opposite on the same side as the... the White Horse that eh, was selling plants, but don't like that naked fence at all.
[Norrine:] Oh I don't mind it, if it's going to be eh...
[Chris:] Bring back the ivy I say.
[Norrine:] No, no, look I must ring here, we have a bit on to that behind the tree, you can let that happen.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, that, that will be if it's still there.
[Norrine:] Yes, but I don't think we should try and make this happen.
[Chris:] No, O K that, that ought to be pinned down. Ought to have a crack at that some time.
[Norrine:] You shouldn't do it at.
[Chris:] Oh no, I'm sure.
[Norrine:] Do it after. Is there anything in the boot? Yes, fine.
[Chris:] Oh and your handbag.
[Norrine:] I.
[Chris:] These days they tend to think that, something you should save, and not waste in the garden.
[Norrine:] Yes, but on the other hand...
[Chris:] Yes, yes, he is Katie, thanks. Oh do you want this in your thing for, oh no it's not for school is it, no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh yes, right.
[Norrine:] I thought it, these look pretty.
[Chris:] They are pretty aren't they? They are original geraniums
[Norrine:] They're lovely.
[Chris:] I think. Yes, the, the delphiniums don't produce much of a bloom.
[Norrine:] Oh they, they.
[Chris:] Do they?
[Norrine:] Like they have to take time to establish.
[Chris:] Well that one over there is the established one.
[Norrine:] Well that's alright.
[Chris:] Yes, yes. I always think of delphiniums as having blooms right the way up the stalk.
[Norrine:] You may be wrong.
[Chris:] Ah never dear, me be wrong.
[Norrine:] smothering the rose.
[Chris:] [bird singing]. Well, well it's, it's driving into the rose, here which is not very clever.
[Norrine:] Yes, you see it, into the rose.
[Chris:] I've never seen it so flourishing.
[Norrine:] No because, William never had, never cut it back.
[Chris:] Oh really, really, yes.
[Norrine:] Whenever I planted it, I used to cut it right down.
[Chris:] Well I must say I much prefer it like that cos it covers up the ugly fence. Well it's not beautiful is it? Oh really, what's that another fuchsia isn't it, erm
[Norrine:] fuchsia, there were
[Chris:] Has it been watered today?
[Norrine:] Yes, there were two plants.
[Chris:] Perhaps that needs a stalk in the middle. Murray overseas, can't quote today, first thing Monday. Thanks Debbie I've got the message. There
[Susan:] Mm.
[Chris:] Why not? want any due?
[Susan:] No.
[Chris:] Oh. How many have you got next week?
[Susan:] About twelve.
[Chris:] Ha ha. I shall leave you to it.
[Susan:] How many have you got?
[Chris:] All and they'zre tomorrow. I'm sorry I've missed that. Well, that doesn't matter, it's me it's recording and whoever I talk to.
[Susan:] Why are you recording you though?
[Chris:] Aha ha. Cos I'm really rather super that's why. Gosh mum leaves this lying around doesn't she?
[Susan:] Mm.
[Chris:] Wonderful for stubbing toes on. Madame, may I... pour you, have the pleasure of pouring you hot.
[Norrine:] .
[Chris:] Right, by all means. Dry or middling?
[Norrine:] I'm middling.
[Chris:] Middling, I hope I've got some middling, I'll go and have a look. Right, I see what's what.
[Norrine:] I might buy another pair tomorrow.
[Chris:] Right, were you going to sit now?
[Norrine:] I'm going up to.
[Chris:] Right well. Taking Ceila with you or what?
[Norrine:] No.
[Chris:] Alright Your party fruit sherry my dear, I er
[Norrine:] Sherry's a food, I'm not coming this month. I'm just doing the dogs though.
[Chris:] I just had a chat with Christine.
[Norrine:] fitted in?
[Chris:] Just fine.
[Norrine:] Colin?
[Chris:] Fine, yes, yes, yes.
[Norrine:] Oh Shep, mate, what you treading on me again.
[Chris:] Christine says her blood pressure is O K, all's well then.
[Norrine:] Been that has she?
[Chris:] I think she's been back to her G P. Do you want anything?
[Norrine:] No.
[Chris:] Well we're having prawns and something are we? I'll get the nibbles. [music]. Oh hello pussy cat, you look cosy. Oh you've got another pineapple, well done. Great.
[Norrine:] next week. Here we are look.
[Chris:] Do we have some serviettes? What'll we want, fish knives?
[Norrine:] I don't mind.
[Chris:] is it fish pie or what? Well you don't like the fish pie. D'you think you could get some non brand cereals tomorrow? Please.
[Norrine:] I bought one today.
[Chris:] Did you, thank you. I don't know, I haven't looked, let's see.
[Norrine:] they're all quite.
[Chris:] Oh love, oh super, oh [LAUGHTER].
[Norrine:] with me.
[Chris:] It depends on the..
[Norrine:] in there.
[Chris:] Oh good., can't imagine anything looking nicer than. Shall I open a bottle? Fish wine? Yes Christine was happy enough. All is well down in Devon. Steven and his numerous family are still on the canal's somewhere having a hol. Did you enjoy that little nonsense. Do they go too, Snoopy, or not? Yes, yes, yes, yes.
[Norrine:] darling.
[Chris:] Too good. Smells delicious, have some more wine, sherry?
[Norrine:] Erm,.
[Chris:] Good. I think smoked haddock has a really good flavour, aroma, aroma, as well as flavour.
[Norrine:] Thank you.
[Chris:] You're welcome. Please don't burn the paintwork.
[Susan:] I won't.
[Chris:] Incidently
[Susan:] Sorry.
[Chris:] incidently it's not a good idea to leave the double glazing bit swinging, erm, or, or the other one. The other one come... come... come crashing through the double glazing. Yes, exactly. Oh your orange bit's looking very good isn't it?
[Norrine:] Best. I think.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Can you shut the door?
[Chris:] Hardly when we steamed up like this.
[Norrine:] That's Edward Fox on the radio.
[Chris:] Aaargh. Brushing past the plant and it fell over, that's all.
[Susan:] This place is turning into a jungle.
[Chris:] It is, it is a jungle already.
[Susan:] It's lovely isn't it?
[Norrine:] smell.
[Chris:] Would the last of the.
[Susan:] Would the last of the.
[Chris:] Lovely greenery dear.
[Susan:] Oh are we everything we do?
[Chris:] Why, why does it worry you?
[Susan:] It doesn't worry me, it's just a bit silly walking about with a voice you.
[Norrine:] Here we are..
[Chris:] Thank you dear.
[Susan:] Mum, did you make my sandwiches today?
[Norrine:] No.
[Susan:] Didn't think so.
[Norrine:] Should've made them.
[Susan:] They were nice.
[Chris:] Were they nicer than usual?
[Susan:] No, different.
[Chris:] Different. What was the difference?
[Susan:] Got prawns and garlic.
[Chris:] What the flavour in the prawns you mean?
[Susan:] No, garlic.
[Norrine:] considering I with it. There was prawns with garlic mayonnaise.
[Chris:] Mm. Looks very green dear.
[Susan:] It's lovely.
[Chris:] Do you think I'm environmental?
[Susan:] Why did they choose you to tape?
[Chris:] Ha, there was a knock at the door.
[Susan:] Nah
[Norrine:] Nah or no?
[Chris:] I'm to explain roughly what they're up to, so I invited them in, they then explained exactly what they were up to, fine I'll do it.
[Susan:] I'll be pleased.
[Norrine:] You can turn the radio off darling, we're not listening to it.
[Susan:] They say you could borrow the Walkman?
[Chris:] They gave me, the equipment, and the tapes and the batteries and eh, the recorded paper and all the rest of it, cos that's part, essential part of the whole thing.
[Norrine:] You hang, handed back didn't you?
[Chris:] Oh yes, yes.
[Susan:] How many people are they taking then?
[Chris:] I've no idea, I didn't ask.
[Norrine:] what work they use, in general conversation these days.
[Chris:] Oh, accents, things like that. Spoken, spoken English as opposed to record of written English, that's the essence of it.
[Susan:] If I'd taken it, the language would be different.
[Norrine:] Of course, but I think they'll have a wide
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] variety of people, otherwise their research isn't valid, is it?
[Chris:] Yes, the, the lady in question was saying what, she had to have, I think, I think what she was saying was, that for every person over forty five she had to have somebody under forty five.
[Norrine:] Presumably the same number of men as women and
[Chris:] Yeah, probably.
[Susan:] What, do you have to stand there when you walk down the street, and when you go to
[Norrine:] Only when you're having a conversation.
[Chris:] When I answer the telephone, I switch it off. I done that numerous times today... but I'm trying to do it right by keeping it going all the time when I'm likely to be in conversation, so there are occasional blank spaces on the tapes. It was quite funny yesterday, because, he, when I went out in the garden there was a football nestling in the rose bushes, I heaved it back over the fence, thirty seconds later the two boys came roaring out of the house, and about thirty seconds after that
[Susan:] It's back over again.
[Chris:] it, no, it's up in the app... top of the apple tree, and they were chucking sticks at it, trying to get it down again.
[Susan:] Why don't you just open the back gate so that they can come and collect their stuff when they want it?
[Chris:] Well I've said it actually, if you do it frequently you can't be bothered I suppose.
[Norrine:] Probably their dad said you mustn't go in there too often.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] It takes snob...
[Susan:] You'll be pleased to know dad, that I am going to go to the tomorrow night.
[Norrine:] Oh
[Chris:] Oh no
[Norrine:] You haven't been there for ages.
[Susan:] Mm.
[Chris:] utterly overwhelmed dear, why?
[Susan:] Going.
[Norrine:] Does she go there from time to time?
[Susan:] Mm.
[Norrine:] Has she said there's much the same people there or different crowd?
[Susan:] Same people really.
[Norrine:] Does she still see Judith?
[Susan:] Judith.
[Norrine:] I find that hard to believe, how she. Pardon?
[Susan:] Exactly.
[Chris:] So Sam doesn't like her either.
[Susan:] Mm.
[Norrine:] It's not so much not liking, it's not really trusting people, like us.
[Chris:] I think not liking must come into it partly.
[Susan:] Mm
[Chris:] Mean to say, that, that's the honest.
[Norrine:] It doesn't mean, it doesn't endear you to people does it?
[Chris:] No exactly, not likely my dear.
[Susan:] No I don't dislike Judith.
[Norrine:] No, quite.
[Chris:] No.
[Susan:] I just wouldn't, if she rang up and says I'd say no thanks.
[Chris:] Yes quite.
[Norrine:] Thanks very much.
[Chris:] You don't like her.
[Susan:] No.
[Chris:] You've no reason to like her.
[Susan:] Mm.
[Chris:] Okay.
[Norrine:] Why somebody lets me down like that. You're not, you don't trust them, you're not going to put yourself on the line are you, suppose. There's plenty of other people in the world. you might think of some.
[Chris:] She's not really very with it, is she? Not very intelligent.
[Susan:] Not sort of thing even if she did. No, I, I wouldn't write her a snidey letter, I'd sit down and say look.... I haven't seen him since...
[Norrine:] Oh. Not planned to see., his name, address,.
[Susan:] Why?
[Chris:] What was that for?
[Susan:] You.
[Norrine:] That reminds me
[Chris:] Why did you want?
[Norrine:] Cos Mrs wanted her to use her.
[Chris:] Oh. It's a question of how you dance round them I suspect rather than the actual pole.
[Norrine:] Mm. She wanted someone who would teach them, erm,.
[Susan:] Remember that silly thing we did at school once me with Charlotte and Suzanne and somebody else, do you remember? There was four of us and.
[Norrine:] . Use the erm, they... they invited the Chislehurst May Queen,dan... maypole dancers to come to the next open evening.
[Susan:] No I'm not talking about that.
[Norrine:] Oh sorry.
[Susan:] At Bromley High.
[Norrine:] No I don't remember.
[Susan:] At a silly sketch.
[Norrine:] I never saw it.
[Susan:] You did, you did, floppy hats on.
[Chris:] Don't remember that.
[Norrine:] You must of done it, for the six, for the... within the school, not for the.
[Susan:] Mm..
[Chris:] Do you remember dancing at the hospice?
[Susan:] Mm, yes.
[Chris:] hospice, yes.
[Norrine:] I remember that.
[Chris:] It was sunny and
[Susan:] I'm not sure.
[Norrine:] and Katie, Katie were there.
[Susan:] dancing. [phone rings]
[Chris:] Were they?
[Susan:] Hi, that's alright.
[Chris:] How you feeling now?
[Norrine:] Better tonight than I did last night.
[Chris:] Why?
[Norrine:] I was very tired after spending that long day in the school.
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[Norrine:] Up and down, up and down.
[Chris:] How much of a display have you got so far?
[Norrine:] Mm, the best part of three boards, four boards.
[Chris:] Oh more now.
[Norrine:] Plus the... plus the.
[Chris:] come afterwards.
[Norrine:] One board's finished, another board is nearly finished, closed the food board, I've got one of bones and skeleton.
[Chris:] Mm. There's a wonderful picture of the, body of a... a women all curled up in today's paper.
[Norrine:] I've got another board on food and. They're quite fun and I've quite a lot of that up, and I've got another board on, half of it's and half of it sleep. And that's pretty well. And I've got a fourth board on exercise and I've two boards I haven't started. One's going to be shape I've got a lot of material to go on it, we haven't made the backing.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] This is why I couldn't start that, but I have.
[Chris:] [cough] Yes.
[Norrine:] And the other one, we haven't started the work for yet, because now we're starting into water, so, erm, in the next ten days we'll do some work on water and that's the water board.
[Chris:] Yes,.
[Norrine:] Well, I'm going to start on, I've cut up some so I'm going to finish cutting them up and lay them out. Then I'll go onto. Dissolving that's how it can be effec... that may do the writing a piece of poetry, I've got a little poem written down. We've made some water bridges in a clay which I have to put in the kiln on Monday,.
[Chris:] Will your monster germ be part of the big show?
[Norrine:] Yes, he, I've got a lot of germ poems
[Chris:] Oh charming. [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] and I've mounted them on green germ, but I'm going to put them on a table, and then hang the germs from the ceiling or something, round, cos I haven't got a board for that.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] We were going to do a lot more work
[Susan:] Hard luck.
[Norrine:] on germs and diseases and cuts and first aid things, after the St. John's Ambulance, but since it never happened
[Chris:] No.
[Norrine:] Oh don't.
[Chris:] No, I shall, yes, yes.
[Norrine:] we didn't, we didn't carry on with it.
[Chris:] That was bad, Mrs should be taken to task for that.
[Norrine:] She misjudged it, she should of rung on the Friday.
[Chris:] She should have rung immediately and said there was a question mark.
[Norrine:] Well when she did it, well that was the Friday, when she did it
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] and said what had happened, and I also spoken to Cathy. Cathy would have come
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] or sent someone else.
[Chris:] Oh indeed she would, and Cathy would have been sensitive enough to appreciated the need of teeny weenies.
[Norrine:] Oh yes,.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] Another thing she couldn't step in, and do it over the head with someone who was supposed to be doing on that March.
[Chris:] No, no no, no.
[Norrine:] But having left till the morning when she was due, I couldn't even let Cathy know because it puts her in an awkward position, suddenly turn up on the day. But it was Friday she did it, and Thursday we were expecting her, so there would have been time when she had. I mean she hadn't even let me know the night before.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] It was only a chance that I rang her.
[Chris:] Yes, the, the night before.
[Norrine:] I rang her the night before to say what visual aid do you want, do you want the overhead projector, or the video or what would you like
[Chris:] yes. Yes. Mm.
[Norrine:] cos she said she'd need something, but she hadn't specified it. I don't know what was in mind, then she told me, what the problem was. Said I was going to get, ring you tomorrow morning if I couldn't come.
[Chris:] Very unprofessional, very unsuitable.
[Norrine:] But I was hoping I would be, be better. Now I don't know what to do, I was going to write to Cathy after and thank her
[Chris:] Yes, quite.
[Norrine:] but now I don't know whether to pretend, just to leave it, or to say anything, don't want Cathy to think I was ungrateful.
[Chris:] I still haven't got my first aid certificate. I think perhaps, I shall contact Cyril, and say how about that drink we we've agreed to, we, we've enjoyed together?
[Norrine:] I should
[Chris:] Couple of months, well couple of months ago we said, you know, we live close enough for goodness sake let's get together one night.
[Norrine:] Yes. And you'll have a chat with him.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Mention it.
[Chris:] Mentioned it, and then,
[Norrine:] quite embarrassed, cos she think
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Ring Cathy and mentioned it, but she was grateful for having interest.
[Chris:] Yep.
[Norrine:] I might be more inclined if mentioned it and hadn't said.
[Chris:] [cough]
[Norrine:] But Cathy has been coping with leukaemia.
[Chris:] So which I was told.
[Norrine:] Which I didn't know.
[Susan:] Cathy who?
[Chris:] No nobody knows.
[Norrine:] , one of the old Greenwich.
[Susan:] She got leukaemia?
[Norrine:] Well she may be better now, I don't know anything about it except dad heard that she had had it, or was being treated for it.
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[Susan:] What's for pudding?
[Norrine:] Fruit. So I didn't want to burden her by being awkward about it, make her feel bad about it, equally I haven't really thanked her.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] The only second phone call I had was to say what is happening.
[Chris:] Yes. Yes, well.
[Norrine:] She had contacted this Mrs, would you like to do some planting? Well maybe nobody wants to.
[Chris:] Snoopy that's not the way you pass things round, it is? You pick up the dish and.
[Susan:] Well what do you want? You don't like these apple now you're going to have an orange.
[Chris:] Very sweet of you to choose for me dear.
[Norrine:] I don't mind thank you. What can I do for you, an apple, nothing? Can you have half of one of these?
[Chris:] No thanks, I had that at lunch time didn't I? [LAUGHTER] I try to have two pieces of fruit a day, one being an orange the other an apple, or an alternative pear [cough]
[Susan:] Oh she doesn't have an apple.
[Norrine:] You had an apple today, you had that.
[Chris:] I had that extraordinary cox yes.
[Norrine:] And did you have an orange too? No, I was the one that had the orange you didn't.
[Chris:] Oh. Oh goody goody, I shall have an orange.
[Norrine:] You are allowed two a day.
[Chris:] I'll have that one. That's right.
[Norrine:] Where did you eat your lunch today?
[Susan:] At at college.
[Norrine:] Are you allowed to eat your own sandwiches in there?
[Susan:] Yeah.
[Norrine:] Well I don't know, I'm
[Chris:] Lying in the park at the back I would have thought.
[Susan:] Chilly it would be.
[Chris:] You're young enough not to notice.
[Susan:] You.
[Norrine:] How many of your erm, friends actually bring sandwiches to
[Susan:] They come, there's two of us Anita
[Norrine:] Sarah doesn't.
[Susan:] Yeah. can't afford.
[Chris:] Ha, sort of your situation isn't it?
[Norrine:] Why don't you stay for school lunch instead of sandwiches?
[Chris:] Is there still a boycott at the canteen?
[Susan:] No..
[Chris:] Is that because they've got fed up or because things have improved?
[Susan:] Probably got fed up.
[Chris:] Nothing's improved.
[Norrine:] How can you at college, I mean I know there's your course, but I didn't know about that until you enrolled for it. I've only heard of it at the fashion college. Hairdressing.
[Susan:] Mm.
[Norrine:] Fashion.
[Susan:] Mm.
[Norrine:] Beauty.
[Susan:] Mm. Yeah, theatrical make-up.
[Chris:] Theatrical make-up, really?
[Susan:] . Theatrical, erm, period costumes,.
[Chris:] Millenary had a lovely old fashion rings.
[Norrine:] Do you only see the girls on model?
[Susan:] Mm.
[Norrine:] What, has she finished her? Good for her...
[Susan:] We, do you know what our canteen did? We paid for all these dodgy old ladies
[Norrine:] [huff]
[Susan:] They did, they come in and they us and then they go home again.
[Norrine:] Who are they?
[Susan:] Nobody knows.
[Chris:] I think you should do a survey, approach them with a clipper board as they come in and say
[Norrine:] Which course you on?
[Chris:] delighted to see you,
[Susan:] Well it's a joke, because, they take up all the seats, like they're in two seats of four, and a, there is no way you can, half the students, these silly old people come in and they take up four seats and eat our lunch.
[Norrine:] You for everybody.
[Susan:] Yeah, but at times they're expensive.
[Norrine:] Shouldn't be, the more people that eat it, the cheaper it, the, should help keep the prices down.
[Susan:] Yeah, but they do though..
[Chris:] Certainly
[Norrine:] Perhaps it's the college's bit of charity.
[Chris:] Even the canteen staff don't know who they are.
[Susan:] Bet they do.
[Norrine:] Ladies from the street, with poor with poor pensions.
[Susan:] Yeah they're regulars, they come in every day.
[Norrine:] Mm.
[Chris:] [cough] I don't think, eh, college of fashion should be supporting the ladies of the streets dear.
[Susan:] I like it though.
[Norrine:] Maybe they're the cleaners.
[Chris:] You mean bag ladies or street ladies?
[Susan:] Bag ladies.
[Chris:] Aha.
[Susan:] I know they're definitely not cleaners.
[Norrine:] Do you.
[Susan:] No. Right, one woman she comes in, with an ice cream tub, and fills up with food and goes home, in an ice cream tub.
[Norrine:] She must be very poor.
[Susan:] Erm you don't know you know because the more our college prices keep going up and up, B H S on it, they are cheaper than our corned beef. Yeah, well,.
[Chris:] Why do a, er, an old lady come in and fill up an ice cream tub, do you mean an old ice cream tub?
[Susan:] Yeah.
[Norrine:] She brings one with her?
[Susan:] Yeah.
[Chris:] So where she fill it up from?
[Susan:] The canteen. The people fill it up for her.
[Chris:] Do you give her a little bit of they're
[Susan:] It's hers, put a Ice cream tub.
[Chris:] Does she pay for it?
[Susan:] I don't think so.
[Chris:] Strange business.
[Susan:] Yeah, but.
[Norrine:] Maybe not.
[Susan:] But then again the students' bar is ridiculously cheap.
[Chris:] Do they go into the bar?
[Susan:] No. thirty P for a coke. Fifty P for a Cinzano and lemonade, or whatever.
[Chris:] Mm, mm. What's a pint of bitter?
[Susan:] Don't know. You know, how come the bar managers
[Norrine:] Oh sorry Ella.
[Susan:] erm, how come the bar meals used to be so cheap when the canteen's.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Of course, [cough], there's a big profit.. It seems to me this student bar, does have to make a vast profit. Anyway it's probably run by students.
[Susan:] . Yeah it is.
[Chris:] Is there bar students? Is there a steward?
[Norrine:] Might be a man in charge, but they probably don't have to pay lots of wages.
[Susan:] There is there No.
[Norrine:] And make lots of profit.
[Susan:] But, I don't think it makes any profit, but, you know, profit. That's why it's cheap.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] Whereas pubs are different, they are out, they have to pay a lot of people and their rent and everything else and they are ours to make a profit. . Except for a small diversion and nibble some bits of lamb when I was cutting up the meat lunchtime, and to try and serving of it.
[Chris:] When we were out front earlier today, Rocket tried to take a short cut across the front garden, Candy saw her off, like a.
[Susan:] Who's Rocket?
[Chris:] Petrol pussy cat.
[Susan:] Don't say it like that, I've never met any of the labouring animals.
[Norrine:] Oh, it's a nice little young black and white cat, very white Stray cat.
[Susan:] . Ah yeah.
[Norrine:] But Ella or Candy are not at all friendly.
[Susan:] Tut. We know that though. Who's that she used to beat poor and
[Norrine:] No..
[Chris:] Really. Ha, ha, ha.
[Susan:] It doesn't matter does it?
[Chris:] No.
[Norrine:] As long as we, she goes on being.
[Chris:] At least we know where she drinks. What do you have to say to that? Any booked?
[Susan:] Yeah
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] Going to the library.
[Chris:] as a library employee, does she get a benefit?
[Susan:] What benefit do you get from a library?
[Chris:] No, I meant, I meant from booking the cinema.
[Norrine:] I shouldn't think so for a minute darling.
[Susan:] Yes, what's the library got to do with the cinema?
[Chris:] Not a lot, but there's a leisure point which tells you everything that's happening in Bromley, inside the library, did occur to you
[Susan:] No, no I got it out, I got it out of the papers last night.
[Chris:] But you didn't book the tickets out of the papers last night dear.
[Susan:] Oh,.
[Norrine:] She went into the cinema and bought two lovely tickets.
[Susan:] Bought two.
[Chris:] Oh really enjoy that don't you?
[Susan:] I like... The big guy, beard, that is head boy. Steven was there so I gave.
[Norrine:] Wouldn't have a chance to would we?.
[Chris:] I'll wash up first.
[Susan:] No, I'll wash up when I've trained.
[Norrine:] No I'll have you got a ticket.
[Chris:] It'll be over and done with by then won't it?
[Susan:] , water in here, what?
[Norrine:] Does he have a?
[Susan:] No he doesn't.
[Norrine:] So he might not get in?
[Chris:] No. Stain in the outside, but I can't see any sign at all.
[Norrine:] Well no it's not, no it's not.
[Chris:] Pardon?
[Norrine:] It'll be, it's not just look, staining if you look, there's above the level on the, of the water.
[Chris:] Yes, probably.... Mind your nose Digger. How do you recognize Jasmine? A tiny leaf isn't it?
[Norrine:] Right, right.
[Chris:] It's not been fed for two years has it, so
[Norrine:] Oh don't. You can always tell when you've had a glass of sherry, come all.
[Chris:] Well it's true isn't it? I mean it hasn't actually had any grow
[Norrine:] Had it... instead of taking.
[Chris:] Super. It's probably why I can actually see it peeping out over the top. What's this plant?
[Norrine:] in the arrangement I had on my birthday.
[Chris:] Oh. Do you want me to take cuttings of it?.
[Norrine:] No, no, it's just root.
[Chris:] Oh.
[Norrine:] I just thought I might put some more flowers in it..
[Chris:] No reply?
[Susan:] No, playing football.
[Chris:] So he won't be coming out?
[Susan:] No he might come. Him and David a few beers... What you doing with the mum?
[Norrine:] I'm just seeing if the water's going up the drains.
[Susan:] Are you sure you?
[Norrine:] No, just leaving for now. When I got to school I will.
[Chris:] What does it actually prove, osmosis or diffusion?
[Norrine:] Osmosis.
[Chris:] Pardon?
[Norrine:] I think it's osmosis.
[Chris:] Ah, that's the passing of a [whistling], erm, er, erm, something, no it can't be osmosis, cos it's a part of membrane. Passing of a liquid
[Norrine:] No diffusion.
[Chris:] liquid, no diffusion can anywhere, doesn't have to pass membrane at all. Passing of a liquid through a membrane leaving part of it's substance behind.
[Susan:] It's something to.
[Norrine:] It's absolutely nothing
[Susan:] Osmosis is the passing of water from a place of high water density to place of low water density.
[Chris:] Boom, boom, super.
[Norrine:] Is that right?
[Chris:] Yes what does that mean in practice Snoopy?
[Susan:] Don't know.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] Where does osmosis occur dad means?
[Susan:] It's anywhere.
[Norrine:] Like, such as?
[Susan:] Body.
[Chris:] Does it?
[Norrine:] From where to where in the body?
[Chris:] Kidneys or something like that.
[Susan:] I don't know.
[Norrine:] Why do we need to know about osmosis?
[Susan:] We don't, I'm just telling dad, cos he
[Norrine:] How come you know about it?
[Susan:] college.
[Norrine:] Yes, but I mean, how?
[Susan:] I can't remember.
[Norrine:] Ah, well
[Chris:] There's er no practical application as far as you know.
[Norrine:] There must be.
[Susan:] Yeah, things in the body and I can't.
[Norrine:] Well really, what I'm trying to tell the children is that plants need water, it drinks up water in order to live.
[Susan:] Yeah,
[Norrine:] Drink, you can't see it if you put them in water, you just know the water's gone but it might of evaporated. I just make them see the colour going up the stem of a plant. You can do it with a turn the carnation pink or you know it's white, that sort of thing. I was just having a little experiment to see how it takes and how strong it is and I know what I'm doing.
[Chris:] Well I can't see that that would actually prevent action.
[Norrine:] Well that's all it is.
[Chris:] Is it? Oh.
[Norrine:] Try to prove anything is so the water travels up the plant, I can't think of anything.
[Chris:] You haven't got a plant there have you?
[Norrine:] A theory is a plant, what else does it do?
[Chris:] No not when it's chopped off top and bottom like a stick from the fridge dear, it's not a plant.
[Norrine:] It is a plant.
[Chris:] Oh. I'm coming.
[Norrine:] residential if you don't. Bill's lilac is dead.
[Chris:] Philip, left hand column there...
[Norrine:] .
[Chris:] Never heard of that.... Doesn't sound worth bothering really. Very short cutting, low.... They're a bit skinny aren't they?
[Norrine:] That's quite a good idea. [tv on]
[Chris:] Mm. Well we can do that from the oak container out there.
[Norrine:] That's nice.
[Chris:] There were two different ivies in that weren't there?
[Norrine:] plants in there, that's the climbing cybilia the upright cybilia, pretty in the top. That looks like lettuce.
[Chris:] Lettuce.
[Norrine:] I don't care.
[Chris:] Ha, ha, ha, ha,.
[Norrine:] geranium.
[Chris:] Sort of geranium crossed with ivy. I think of eh, tend to think of the yellow, er browny shades as being azalea, rather than rhododendron. [music in background]
[Norrine:] Mm.
[Chris:] White, pink, red into purple
[Norrine:] Right know
[Chris:] There are indeed, yes, but you don't tint, get the, the yellows into rhododendrons do you?
[Norrine:] Not that I've ever seen, no..
[Chris:] Yes, I've got lovely purply of variety. When you get such a splodge of colour eh, it's difficult to know just how well adjusted your colour level is on the television.
[Norrine:] [music in background] Do you know if there's a soil in our garden to come up?
[Chris:] No. I'm afraid I don't.
[Norrine:] Buy a little kit can't you? shops... if it's worth growing for them. It means that they.
[Chris:] Yes. Extraordinary colouring, extraordinary, now's the time one ought to be out and about, seeing that sort of thing. This is...
[Norrine:] Things like Saville Garden.
[Chris:] this is the season, yes. Linda loved it at Saville Garden last weekend, weekend before..
[Norrine:] They certainly plant them quickly. [tv on]
[Chris:] Mm. Beautifully prepared soil, I mean you try that with our soil you'll damage your fingers, it's like a flipping rock. Not with your fingers you didn't.
[Norrine:] Yes I did. my fingers.
[Chris:] Do you want to go and have a jazz tonight?
[Norrine:] No not really. The only comment on the rhododendron came first
[Chris:] On how it'll grow them you mean?
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] Plenty of comments otherwise on them.
[Norrine:] Oh yes, how do you get them?.
[Chris:] [yawn] Really?
[Norrine:] I let.
[Chris:] I've never heard of it.
[Norrine:] Got those pink violets.
[Chris:] Yeah, yeah.
[Norrine:] I know it comes in various shapes though, the tail's very dark.
[Chris:] [yawn]
[Norrine:] Would you like the news?
[Chris:] What's it gonna, follow here?
[Norrine:] I don't remember. The Real McCoy, black comedy.
[Chris:] Sounds rather hard. Oh it always is, isn't it? Go and live there.
[Norrine:] Don't seem to have any homes.
[Chris:] They're doing away from their homes.
[Norrine:] You're driven away by the army.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Famine, the Army, I mean lack of rain and all that sort of thing.
[Chris:] Derek's picking you up about two tomorrow.
[Norrine:] Right, after lunch.
[Chris:] Yep.
[Norrine:] Do you have any indication when?
[Chris:] No.
[Norrine:] pretty well.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] Before you go
[Chris:] I don't suppose we'll be there for more than two, three hours.
[Norrine:] Oh, you might as well. You know we was talking about [tv on]?
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] There's the. Technology use, use the purest water.
[Chris:] Yes. . It's the basis of redial dialysis.
[Norrine:] Boiling water removes bacteria and not removes, dissolves.
[Chris:] Well there's a signifi... the, the osmosis really is a membrane which allows water to go through, but nothing else. The promise of rain is rather pleasant isn't it? You my love. Oh I recommend the Philip erm,. [tv on] Snoopy have a good day today?
[Norrine:] . Somebody else.
[Chris:] Oh she sweated at it, yes. She did the sweating instead of the instruction, yes. Atoms felling pollution, I like that. [LAUGHTER]...
[Norrine:] Mm, I heard this discussion on the radio this morning.
[Chris:] What about?
[Norrine:] Erm, quoting.
[Chris:] Quoting?
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] I do a lot of that.
[Norrine:] What?
[Chris:] Do a lot of quoting, but don't get many orders out of it. Oh yes. I thought the second half of it was hilarious [tv on] I've read it before.
[Norrine:] I thought the first half was funnier than the second half.
[Chris:] Mm...
[Norrine:] I've read so much tonight,.
[Chris:] Well the French Connection starts on T V at ten o'clock so come and watch that. Classic film dear. I don't know, probably. About an hour and a half later.
[Norrine:] Right.
[Chris:] Yes... As we're not conversing very much I'm going to switch this machine. How are you this morning? O K Nothing in the mail this morning. Hello I'll have a look. There's only a bag of peat on the doorstep, here it is look, indoors...
[Norrine:] Have you had some breakfast?
[Chris:] No. Take it off the yoghurt pot. Hello Thank you very much.
[speaker007:] Sign
[Chris:] Yes sure. Right, just this, anywhere?
[speaker007:] sign it
[Chris:] Right, what is this Datapost?
[speaker007:] No,.
[Chris:] Similar sort of thing is it? Thank you.
[speaker007:] Lovely.
[Chris:] Thank you very much.
[speaker007:] Thank you. Bye.
[Chris:] Bye. Shall I cut you some toast? Couple of pieces?
[Norrine:] one.
[Chris:] O K.
[Norrine:] Did you ever decide whether you were going to go and do that course.
[Chris:] I've said no, hang on what's that?
[Norrine:] Why did you decide no?
[Chris:] What, no, nothing to do with the Open University.
[Norrine:] Why did you decide not?
[Chris:] I decided it was jolly expensive and eh, wasn't going to do what I felt I wanted it to do.
[Norrine:] What was it? What were you aiming to achieve?
[Chris:] Confidence, public speaking, capability.
[Norrine:] to look for something else then? It's alright, we don't have to do anything
[Chris:] Really, aha.
[Norrine:] for a minute.
[Chris:] ready to cook. Aha. Goody, goody. Sorry, you're going to freeze it?
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] Yes. Oh well done. Very good.... What time you due at the hairdresser, quarter to? Five minutes to go. Would you like me to try Veronica later or deliver that? Good dog, good dog. Hello girls. Would you like your car washing?
[Norrine:] Would you like your car washing?
[Chris:] What a lovely idea, I don't think so though, thank you very much, you're very well equipped, I'm very impressed. [LAUGHTER] No thanks very much indeed though. Alright then.
[Norrine:] O K thanks.
[Chris:] Did, did get a swirl earlier this week, thank you very much. Bye. Bye.
[Norrine:] Bye.
[Chris:] We've just had half an hour in Jubilee park, extremely brisk walk, I feel ext... jolly toasty now. How was your outing?
[Norrine:] Oh.
[Chris:] Good looking buds on there aren't they?
[Norrine:] I do miss that pole sticking up there.
[Chris:] Don't worry about it.
[Norrine:] not quite right, but if I go it'll break back off.
[Chris:] A well exercised beast there I think.
[Norrine:] I'm going to cook this Chris, right now.
[Chris:] Good.
[Norrine:] I just fancy it. What is horrible, the taste.
[Chris:] How you going to do it, microwave?
[Norrine:] No.
[Chris:] Cook it. Roasting, place in a baking tray, gas mark five for thirty five minutes. So it's on is it?
[Norrine:] So it's thirty five minutes. Yes.
[Chris:] Good. Cooking time will need to be extended when cooking more than one product at a time.
[Norrine:] I'm only cooking that.
[Chris:] Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It is straightforward, thirty five minutes, shall I set thirty five?
[Norrine:] Phorr, sticky out there isn't it?
[Chris:] It's not very agreeable at all, is it?
[Norrine:] I forgot to take those rotten grapefruits back to Sainsbury's.
[Chris:] Oh did you tell them?
[Norrine:] No, what, what would that do.
[Chris:] Well I mean that, they don't expect necessarily to see the evidence do they? Not a lot of people in the park. Where'd they go?
[Norrine:] I'm not surprised. in the park.
[Chris:] Whoops, bad luck, your toe?
[Norrine:] Oh dear, hurt me.
[Chris:] Why won't you go to the chiropodist.
[Norrine:] Because I keep bumping them it's got nothing to do with the chiropodist.
[Chris:] I can get you some army boots.
[Norrine:] Bumped my toe this morning.. Those green things are for Susannah's picnic.
[Chris:] Oh when she having a picnic?
[Norrine:] Well she has one every day.
[Chris:] Oh I see, yes, I see. What have we here? The pond, pond weed, water weed.
[Norrine:] don't touch that.
[Chris:] Oh, got the beasties in too has it?
[Norrine:] I'm going next door.
[Chris:] Right.
[Norrine:] I think I will have a drink.
[Chris:] Yes, what would you like cider?
[Norrine:] No, a sherry.
[Chris:] Sherry right.
[Norrine:] What you did was press, if it was water like... [milk bottles fall over] Just plenty of water and then put that in.
[Chris:] Yes, the water temperature's well... Right.
[Norrine:] I'll put the cos there won't be enough on.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] It's cold air isn't it?
[Chris:] Oh really.
[Norrine:] Yeah.
[Chris:] Oh brown one and a gold one.
[Norrine:] Well actually when it's in the sun one looks a silvery gold.
[Chris:] Oh yes.
[Norrine:] One transparent.
[Chris:] Here, have a sherry dear.
[Norrine:] I will.. God I need a time and motion expert in this cupboard.
[Chris:] Well it's multi purpose cupboard dear.
[Norrine:] put that.
[Chris:] [cough] Meet anyone when you were out?
[Norrine:] . Not really, no. I'll put that over there,.
[Chris:] I a, I only saw half a dozen people in the park, past a party of riders, lady who approved of my litter picking.
[Norrine:] I funny staring back at the car park, the car park, and the O K?
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Mm, where's the? I saw park, full of traffic down the high street. in front of me and throw out carton into the road, winds his window up again. Then as he was passing a bit nearer and I came to him, he stopped again in the queue, I walked in and and I said, I knocked on his window and he put it down and I said, that wasn't a very nice thing to do.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] He said to me I'm not a very nice person.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] So I said well I hope you're working on it
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] and I walked on a couple, two or three and picked up this bloody carton out of the road and I was right next to Linda's car
[Chris:] Oh really?
[Norrine:] Mm.
[Chris:] Did she see what you was doing?
[Norrine:] I don't know, but she, I, she waved to me and I waved to her and I picked it up and I said do you want this?
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] at the fellow, or at
[Norrine:] No, there's these girls with a fellow with several cars that way though and I just put it in the bin that was there.
[Chris:] Yeah
[Norrine:] But, I did think he was cheeky, I mean it was so blatant.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] And people walking on the pavement all it totally and I thought what a cheek.
[Chris:] Ha [LAUGHTER] Well done dear, you've done your bit for humanity today.
[Norrine:] Well I
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] That's that,... You can't freeze that one, I'll have to make the sandwiches with these because if I freeze the bread
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] I then can't freeze it for sandwiches.
[Chris:] It's not capable of being frozen again you mean or what?
[Norrine:] Yes, you mustn't re-freeze things, so I try to make the sandwiches
[Chris:] You have a sandwich making sesh do you?
[Norrine:] and then put them in, it's so much to ease my mind in the morning, is all I've got to do is take them out and they're pretty, they're fresh, they'll defrost by lunchtime and
[Chris:] Yep.
[Norrine:] they're as fresh as they can be.
[Chris:] Yep. [sniff] Pardon me.
[Norrine:] The only thing is I can't really put much salad in them there, because salad doesn't freeze awfully well
[Chris:] Yes, goes rather soggy doesn't it?
[Norrine:] but, Susannah doesn't particularly care for erm
[Chris:] You just hoik a packet out of the freezer every day and put it in the fridge for her do you?
[Norrine:] Yes, erm, that's right, or put them on the
[Chris:] [noseblow]
[Norrine:] Coke thing, and the drink and the and er pieces of fruit.
[Chris:] [noseblow] Mm.
[Norrine:] Well I can't always find the biscuit, I always buy enough.
[Chris:] Some glorious first of June my goodness, isn't it? I was wearing my coat and my gloves at the park.
[Norrine:] I also take my gloves... dog..
[Chris:] Was it a cigarette carton the fellow chucked?
[Norrine:] No it was a juice carton with a straw in it.
[Chris:] Oh yes, yes oh, all this instant disposal stuff really is a pain.
[Norrine:] Peop... peop... people get don't they? In their car before they get home.
[Chris:] No course they don't. Yes. Yes, that's one of the blessing of people not parking so much down the road now, they don't empty out their ashtrays and their junk from time to time. Kids walking up and down still drop their sweet packets though.
[Norrine:] I know, look at that.
[Chris:] Terrible getting old.
[Norrine:] Blame it on puberty.
[Chris:] All... all it's doing is staying on the outside dear.
[Norrine:] No it's not, look, if you look where the yellow is, it's not, just to the rim of the water is it?
[Chris:] No, but it could be simply for being shaken around. Well I mean there's a yellow streak all the same, all the way up there look.
[Norrine:] It's.
[Chris:] Is it coming up, perhaps it's pouring out of the top dear. It's all yellow at the top.
[Norrine:] Anyway
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] I think I can throw it away cos I've proved it to myself that it work, the three of them.
[Chris:] Well you eat that piece dear. As it's gloriously golden. [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] ... usually look forward to half term to my feet to recover because the children walk all over me.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] And they're nasty little, little feet chair.
[Chris:] Would you like me to buy you a foot bath?
[Norrine:] No.
[Chris:] Massages your feet, with water, warm water jets each night when you come in.
[Norrine:] No thank you.
[Chris:] Why not? It would do them ever so much good. I'm thinking of getting an ozone
[Norrine:] Come on.
[Chris:] generator or
[Norrine:] I know we're going to be an ozone clean the air are we?
[Chris:] An ozone clean the air. [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] An ozone are we?
[Chris:] A nuclear guaranteed zone. [LAUGHTER] Oh
[Norrine:] an ioniser, is that what you mean?
[Chris:] An ioniser that's what I mean dear, yeah.
[Norrine:] Where are you going to put it?
[Chris:] In the office dear, where it needn't concern, your hair looks very nice.
[Norrine:] Why should it not concern me?
[Chris:] Well, give, you did sound a little scathing to there of my darling.
[Norrine:] I don't you mean one in every room to benefit?
[Chris:] I want, I need to be fresh in the office I don't want to be fresh in front of the television, I want to go to sleep. Perhaps one can have a personal ioniser that clips on the lapel or the belt.
[Norrine:] I think.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, I would be quite glad when this lot's over.
[Norrine:] Yes, and I shall be quite bad.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Are you being inhibited or exhibitionist or what? Being inhibited, oh I haven't noticed it. [LAUGHTER] well I'll switch off if I'm being something rather good, so don't... I feel a bit sorry for those goldfish. Well, I reckon that plastic bag squashed them all, get away blossom.
[Norrine:] Well they're getting to the right temperature he said.
[Chris:] I don't think they're allowed to move, haven't got any room to move round in there have they?
[Norrine:] Oh yes they have.
[Chris:] Have they? [LAUGHTER] Ah yes, you're absolutely right, they're your little toys, look at that tail. [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] I wouldn't trust her an inch.
[Chris:] No quite right.
[Norrine:] Not an inch.
[Chris:] Quite right, except soon as your back's turned dear...
[Norrine:] Guess how much they cost?
[Chris:] A shilling each.
[Norrine:] You're living in the past.
[Chris:] Yeah I know, fifty pence each.
[Norrine:] Yes. No seventy five.
[Chris:] Seventy five oh that's a rip off dear.
[Norrine:] I thought so too, it said fifty on the tank
[Chris:] Oh.
[Norrine:] and I said to him, I thought they er were fifty pence and he said I've picked you out the biggest and the best.
[Chris:] Cheeky devil.
[Norrine:] Now what could I say?
[Chris:] Cheeky devil, yes.
[Norrine:] He said, if they, anything goes wrong, come back.
[Chris:] Those are the benefits of doing... shopping in Chislehurst High Street are they?
[Norrine:] They've got a new tank and new.
[Chris:] Have they?
[Norrine:] Oh, it's all opened up.
[Chris:] It's a much cleaner, brighter place now isn't it?
[Norrine:] You wouldn't recognize it.
[Chris:] Yes, certainly was a pretty sordid effort before.
[Norrine:] A minor bird in there and a chinchilla, who looks so miserable.
[Chris:] What is that? A little furry beast.
[Norrine:] Yes, I thought a chinchilla was a kind of rabbit, but it isn't, it's got a tail.
[Chris:] Oh.
[Norrine:] Not like, not as good as a squirrel's tail.
[Chris:] Can you, can you breed your own fur coat?
[Norrine:] Oh, get. But, but, in this cage and it had a little wooden box
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] to go in
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] with a hole in the top and that, and when I went in it was in its box, facing the back of the box and its tail sticking out.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] When I came back, cos I went in on the way to the hairdresser's, to find out about it, and I thought I'd buy him on the way back, when I went back it was still sitting in the same place with its tail hanging out of the back. Look at this cat, ah look at pussy Emma.
[Chris:] That's a saucy pose isn't it?
[Norrine:] She wants her tummy tickled. She wants her tummy tickled.
[Chris:] You're asking for trouble Digger.
[Norrine:] Get your nose., I was going to get you trimmed this week, but it hasn't been any warm weather has it, you wouldn't want your coat off, no.
[Chris:] [noseblow]
[Norrine:] Want your tummy tickled? I thought you might be going going.
[Chris:] No.
[Norrine:] A good thing
[Chris:] I hope not.
[Norrine:] It's a good thing I'm not going to go because you might end up oh look at that?
[Chris:] Oh that looks good, yes.
[Norrine:] Both playing croquet, and fighting each other I just get.
[Chris:] Well I said to David, is there, I understand this is a game where people get very seedy with each other and he said no not at all not at all. David is such a mild mannered fellow that er he wouldn't know how to. [LAUGHTER] He said and he said it's a game of great tactics and erm Can't think why, temptation to be intelligent to be tactician don't you?
[Norrine:] Oh, I do. Everybody says how nice you are, how lucky I am.
[Chris:] What, what has niceness got to do with confidence for goodness sake.
[Norrine:] Well if you're a nice person, then you will, like I help Susannah..
[Chris:] No, you can't keep all these food dishes can you?
[Norrine:] So what's been Anthony's problem?
[Chris:] Apparently before some time in December, he was diagnosed as having an ulcer and almost immediately afterwards had a slight stroke.
[Norrine:] Oh dear.
[Chris:] And he's only relatively recently gone back to work. And he's been under somebody or other at Charing Cross Hospital I, who has a rather different approach to the whole thing, many other people's involve rest and doing nothing and so on and so forth.
[Norrine:] Has it left him with any impairments?
[Chris:] say. Say at all, I didn't ask. Erm, but it's obviously been a very trying time for them.
[Norrine:] I'm sure, yes.
[Chris:] And one daughter is taking A levels and the other is on her way, I'm not sure if she's actually taking O er GCSEs or
[Norrine:] Yes Mark and Deborah are two years behind.
[Chris:] Two years behind is she? Yep, and the older one fancies medicine, but erm, might know, her... her projections are great, but any, inadequate for that, so erm, bio-chemistry is a possibility, but erm, with just got to wait and see.
[Norrine:] Yeah. Where would she hope to go?
[Chris:] Hasn't mentioned at all.... Yes Geraldine certainly implied that it had been a jolly hard time.
[Norrine:] I'm sure it would be, if the kids doing exams.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] in the house.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] She's in April, she and Anthony had been to Florence for four days. For, to a conference to do with his job.
[Chris:] Oh.
[Norrine:] His bosses thought it was time he got back into
[Chris:] Yes, to Florence eh. Wonderful place for a conference.
[Norrine:] But she said they spent an enormous amount of money.
[Chris:] Oh dear, [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] They probably won't be going away this summer.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] And also, their, their children wanted to hang around and get their results and.
[Chris:] As long as Anthony has a break or something,Gerald... Geraldine is not working?
[Norrine:] No.
[Chris:] No she did say that she a, had a, been supply teaching a year or two ago.
[Norrine:] Did it dried up?
[Chris:] Yeah, and she tried it, the personal experience was wonderful....
[Norrine:] She's. the girls' bedrooms which was more like a boxroom than a bedroom before
[Chris:] Aha. They're still in the same place are they?
[Norrine:] Aha.
[Chris:] St John's, mm, mm.
[Norrine:] They're about to have their kitchen done.
[Chris:] Oh.
[Norrine:] Which has never been, kitchen worth calling a kitchen. and Anthony's about to try and work from home.
[Chris:] Oh really, what leaving his firm?
[Norrine:] Mm.
[Chris:] My goodness.
[Norrine:] Change his job and work as a consultant for a German firm. Which will involve him travelling to Germany and. Day to day he'll work from home.
[Chris:] How intriguing...
[Norrine:] Did he get his ulcer sorted out?
[Chris:] The implication was he had,na, that was O K. You could imagine been worry can't you?
[Norrine:] Yes he always was, perfectionist.
[Chris:] Yes he his ways though. That hanky ironing episode. When you were all in the flat together.
[Norrine:] Mm.
[Chris:] The four of us were going out somewhere Anthony said, hang on, hang on, I'm not ready yet, got out your ironing board and your iron and ironed himself a hanky.
[Norrine:] No, I don't remember that.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Incredible. All three of us.
[Norrine:] I really don't remember that. Funny the things you remember and I don't probably true the other way round too if I care to mention things.
[Chris:] I'm glad you said perhaps.
[Norrine:] I didn't want to be romantic.
[Chris:] Ah.
[Norrine:] Ah.
[Chris:] How thoughtful. [LAUGHTER] Well that wasn't bad. Yes, that's. [clears throat].
[Norrine:] wants to, in two weeks.
[Chris:] Ah
[Norrine:] And I forgot to wash the cats so, I had to.
[Chris:] You don't look too good Digger, let it mature a little.
[Norrine:] She's a bit huffy, but you'll prefer one job.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER], oh, it did make you sneeze a lot didn't it Digger?
[Norrine:] So she. You old cast off.
[Chris:] Oh charming, I see, since when did you last chucked one of yours out of the beasties.
[Norrine:] For some funny reason my.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]. Well you're leaning on the table now, I can't think what [LAUGHTER] oh.
[Norrine:] I'll not dust with my elbows.
[Chris:] Do you have a secret deal with Oxfam?
[Norrine:] No.
[Chris:] I can do with one of those three clematis would. They really are pathetic aren't they? No, I envisaged when I bought those superb places that they would cover the fence. Oh, look at.
[Norrine:] Mm....
[Chris:] It's very graceful about one of those oscillating sprinklers, you know.
[Norrine:] Mm.
[Chris:] Great fanning waves to and fro.
[Norrine:] Going on the small lawn is he, when they re-turfed?
[Chris:] Yes, I think that's fair enough.
[Norrine:] I mean, I greenhouse. Plant in the glass room, put them all out underneath the sprinklers.
[Chris:] Well done.
[Norrine:] And they.
[Chris:] Splendid. Saves the water going to waste.
[Norrine:] Well the cats, the hose and the cat. So I water easily for the
[Chris:] Sure, sure. Would you like a plate? No there's nothing there for you dear.
[Norrine:] No.
[Chris:] Not a lot of flavour I should bread.
[Norrine:] . They're chili grapes.
[Chris:] Chili and grapes, they're cool enough.
[Norrine:] The lavatera has to be put in a sunny spot, I think it'll have to go
[Chris:] [sigh] Sorry not over there.
[Norrine:] Next to that bush,.
[Chris:] There's already a hyperathan there, which Willy over chopped, it is a beautiful plant. There's no room for it.
[Norrine:] . They grow six feet tall.
[Chris:] Well, it needs a darn big space then, doesn't it?
[Norrine:] I wouldn't be able to see it in the.
[Chris:] Well I would recommend
[Norrine:] Mm.
[Chris:] that you put it behind a save bush, chop that azalea bush, stick it back there, that'll keep the broom coming in.
[Norrine:] You could put it along side that erm, if you put it stuck like that, it'll need staking, put it on the wall on the fence.
[Chris:] It doesn't need staking surely. I don't think so. Hasn't got a stake in there has it?
[Norrine:] Yeah at the bottom.
[Chris:] Oh in the pot I mean, now.
[Norrine:] It's not very big yet.
[Chris:] Weren't taken? Right, I'm quite confident. Shame those coming up, some of them purple.
[Norrine:] Why?
[Chris:] I suppose they'll be alright when the iris disappear. Actually it's red and pink ones that's rather nice. Very pleased at those original gerania Not too sure. Used to come up purple as well as pink. This is a lovely colour of iris just here isn't it?
[Norrine:] Mm.
[Chris:] Why not have the lavatera in there, instead of the tree?
[Norrine:] No, no, no, no, no, no, too untidy.
[Chris:] Mm... Have you enjoyed the wallflowers this year?
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] Mm. I think I'll be happier to get back to the traditional gold and yellows and browns on wallflowers. Yeah. They'll certainly be colourful. Mm. Thank you I enjoyed my supper, my lunch dear. Are you going to do a proper Dennis? Come on. Does she actually sit up for Dennis?
[Norrine:] You'll, you'll have to say sit.
[Chris:] Sit. Emma, sit. Now come on, never
[Norrine:] Sit
[Chris:] mind the food.
[Norrine:] sit, good girl.
[Chris:] Sit. Right, good dog.
[Norrine:] Can you, can you do it.
[Chris:] Oh really.
[Norrine:] all day
[Chris:] Oh, I see.
[Norrine:] She's had that's enough, she doesn't need.
[Chris:] One last one, there you are dear, that's a good dog.
[Norrine:] Dennis makes her sit and then it in, snapping at your fingers. You're very good at it aren't you stinky? Quarter to two is it? coming at two or are you?
[Chris:] He said two, he'll call for me.
[Norrine:] I've got to get him some plants from that tub haven't I?
[Chris:] What's that you've put in there so far?
[Norrine:] Lobelia.
[Chris:] Mm mm.
[Norrine:] I see how you can.
[Chris:] Mm mm. Yes. I think they've still got a fair whack of root bedding plants in, particularly of good value. Try... try the other place at the bottom of erm Mottingham lane.
[Norrine:] try that see if it's open.
[Chris:] If a, if it's not successful there O K... Oh yes, do you know, I was trying to remember what it was you wanted from that place over in Homesdale, you, you know where I mean don't you?
[Norrine:] I don't think so, I don't know if I'll find it.
[Chris:] Well it's where, next to the place I bought the tiles from.
[Norrine:] Oh is it?
[Chris:] Well, yes, you know the tile shop don't you?
[Norrine:] I'm going to leave it like that for a couple of hours.
[Chris:] Ah mm. It allows the water temperatures to equalize.
[Norrine:] On Monday I put this bowl into the washing up bowl, cos it stood in the car and take this, like that, to school.
[Chris:] Yes, it'll be more stable in that in the car won't it?
[Norrine:] Right, in the washing up bowl you see.
[Chris:] Washing up bowl is very shallow don't pretend to it's deep
[Norrine:] No, I shan't, no water in the washing up bowl, I'll just sit that into this bowl
[Chris:] Oh I see.
[Norrine:] so that if it slops
[Chris:] I see.
[Norrine:] And then when I get to school, I do, I have to pour all the water into the tank, and leave it for a couple of hours and at break time put the fish into the... into the mix water
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] so that they get them And I'll get the children to collect some rocks up and wash them.
[Chris:] Why? Oh right. Why are you doing this? What's the object?
[Norrine:] Cos we're doing a project on water
[Chris:] Oh.
[Norrine:] and, the children have done that tie dying, and after open day, when most of their dollies will be finished soon
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] I thought they could stick fish and weed on to their bits of tie dying, use the tie dying as a
[Chris:] Oh yes. I'm surprised,. I'll have a small cafe with you.
[Norrine:] Is he there?
[Chris:] Yep.
[Norrine:] Seen my glasses?
[Chris:] Thank you.
[Norrine:] How would you like your coffee love?
[Chris:] thank you. On whose behalf should I arrears?
[Norrine:] Interest.
[Chris:] Oh, really?
[Norrine:] I don't need it anyhow.
[Chris:] Actually an interesting article is it?
[Norrine:] Yes actually an interesting article.
[Chris:] Mm... Go and put a jumper on I think.
[Norrine:] Jo who does my hair is off too, on Thursday, to the Caribbeans to be married.
[Chris:] Golly, very exotic. They are, getting lots and lots of people to do it
[David:] Mm.
[Chris:] and it's going to be a record, simply a record of erm, English as it's spoken in nineteen ninety one, I've got a little blurb on it which I'll show you.
[David:] Yeah.
[Chris:] Having put a jumper on I don't know where to clip the blinking microphone now.
[David:] It's an interesting idea, isn't it?
[Chris:] Oh yes. Yes and they... they provided me with boxes of tapes and batteries and eh Walkman and so on and so forth and eh, I'm trying to be conscientious. [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Well I'm sure, I don't know whether it's sort of easy to wear when you're playing croquet or I suppose
[Chris:] Ah well, if, if it isn't I switch it off.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] Dispose of it, it's eh, somebody's having a fete or something. Oh it's a funny old day today isn't it?
[David:] Mm, it's not cold is it? I
[Chris:] Well I thought it was when I went out and exercised the dog before lunch, I went up to Jubilee Park and eh, I had a very brisk walk indeed and I was absolutely lathered by the time I got back to the car, after half an hour.
[David:] Yeah. It's always perceptive on days like this, because it's overcast and eh
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] you tend to thinking not very warm.
[Chris:] Yes. Absolutely, absolutely. Your son had better things to do had he?
[David:] He's gone into Bromley with my eldest.
[Chris:] Aha.
[David:] Jeremy does play croquet, but very infrequently.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] . Just broken away from his girlfriend.
[Chris:] Oh has he, ah. He seemed happy enough when I called.
[David:] Well it was his doing so I suppose
[Chris:] I see.
[David:] Probably not be unhappy with it, she is.
[Chris:] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha yes, yes indeed, ha, ha, ha.
[David:] Smart brake lights aren't they car
[Chris:] I was just thinking what an intriguing colour they were.
[David:] Yeah.
[Chris:] Fuchsia, would you call it?
[David:] Yes, wonder why you'd want two double exhaust do you, I mean it's not a very big engine surely on those, Volkswagen is there?
[Chris:] Yeah, yeah, it's all a bit of pizzazz I suppose.
[David:] Mm probably only one of them is actually effective.
[Chris:] Yes. Or... or probably neither of them are connected. [LAUGHTER]
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Still a noisy little engine though, isn't it, my goodness.
[David:] Well they always were, weren't they? But the
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[David:] I mean I, my sister used to have one and she said you could take it on the motorway and it'll just keep up a, a very good speed still with a noisy engines and then it just kept going and going and going.
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[David:] They're like a Morris Minor aren't they? I mean that's an incredible engine.
[Chris:] Oh yes, yes. Did you see that the British High Commissioner of Sri Lanka has been chucked out of Sri Lanka?
[David:] No.
[Chris:] Er, he, there was a pic... there was a picture of him on the report in the paper and he was sitting in his convertible Morris Minor.
[David:] Oh.
[Chris:] And they are, they are very popular vehicles in Sri Lanka, and somebody's about to set up a factory there to make the bulk of the parts
[David:] Yes. That's right, yes I think I
[Chris:] Rather oddly there are two or possibly even three Morris Minor centres who parts, that's in Bath, they're, they've seemed to have concentrated in Bath rather, rather oddly. And I get erm, one of my customers in Trinidad runs a Morris Minor still.
[David:] Really?
[Chris:] And eh, he occasionally asks me to get bits and pieces
[David:] Well they do so, I mean, I know, I know the body shape is expensive to make because of the number of different panels
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] by comparison with modern cars.
[Chris:] Surely.
[David:] They just pick same extent the Mini doesn't it?
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[David:] That's why it is expensive compared to eh, other cars, but, [cough] they, they seemed to go on for ever those cars, I mean they're quite incredible aren't they?
[Chris:] Yes, they, they
[David:] They've certainly the engine of it.
[Chris:] Tough, tough little beasts aren't they?
[David:] Yeah, yeah.
[Chris:] And of course they've actually made eh, the bodies with er metal not tissue paper in those days didn't they?
[David:] Yes. But they don't seem to have some of these sort of inherent problems that other cars have had since, with eh, sections of the body that tend to rust.
[Chris:] Really, yes, yes.
[David:] Whereas I think cars now, because they give these guarantees on rust, they've certainly given it a lot of thought, but, I mean there was certainly models that were riddled with problems weren't there?
[Chris:] Yes there were. Only the Mini when it first came out was a shocker wasn't it?
[David:] Mm, yes.
[Chris:] Absolute shocker.
[David:] Today I was listening to the talk on the radio coming home, it last night, and the, there was a, representative from one of the largest eh, firms that transport new cars in this country
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] together with a representative of British Rail, and he was saying that, I, forget how many car transporters they've got that erm, they built, bought specially to go on British Rail, he said, but they said he just had to give them up for many reasons and one of them was the problems that they have with new cars when they take them on British Rail and the brake dust from the trains apparently causes immediate rust.
[Chris:] Oh.
[David:] So that you can put a brand new car on at eh, A and by the time it gets to the other end it's literally got rust problems.
[Chris:] How curious.
[David:] It seemed to me incredible.
[Chris:] Yes, absolutely amazing.
[David:] Apart from the vandalism problems they've had, where whole trainload of cars have been stripped of the radios.
[Chris:] Oh dear.
[David:] Cos when they pulled into a slow section on the railway, the vandals have got on and just gone through the whole lot and taken the radios out.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, British Rail have got big problems in that way, haven't they?
[David:] Oh yes.
[Chris:] And rail... railways really ought to be far better developed than they are in this country, eh.
[David:] Well it seems the obvious means of transport.
[Chris:] Absolutely, absolutely, but I mean, I... I ship goods out of this country into the continent and further afield, erm, rail is just not an option that I can consider.
[David:] No.
[Chris:] It's er it's not feasible.
[David:] That's what the representative said from the erm, the car transporter company, was that they... they just couldn't any longer use British Rail because it, he said although British Rail are willing to compensate, it's delay of deliveries.
[Chris:] It's not the point is it?
[David:] They can't deliver to their customers on time.
[Chris:] Mm. Surely, surely, yes, and thirty, forty, fifty years ago, rail was an acknowledged method of shipping things into from Europe.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] And then there were people who specialized in it, I don't suppose from a moment there are now.
[David:] Yes. No.
[Chris:] They just
[David:] Eh,, I mean there's a idea the money that's been spent on the railways instead of on motorways we'd be a lot better off, and I think and Partners subscribed to that because I think that erm, had more money being spent on the railways that we would have been much better off, oh I'd much rather go on a train journey than on a motor bridge journey.
[Chris:] Yes. Yes. Absolutely.
[David:] Sitting comfortably get up and walk about, go and have your cup of tea or coffee.
[Chris:] Surely, surely, it makes much more sense, you can read a book and
[David:] There's still something about railways even though they're not steaming.
[Chris:] Yes, yes I agree. All clear on the left...
[David:] Busy road isn't it this?
[Chris:] Far too busy, yes.
[David:] Perhaps I should have, you can pulled into this refuge in the middle there.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, it's, otherwise it's very neat here, you know in this, these little spaces are really incredibly small.
[David:] Yes, yes, just stop and get some petrol.
[Chris:] Aha. In the States they have particularly small apertures to the petrol tanks for unleaded, do they here?
[David:] Mm, Yes, yes, the different size.
[Chris:] Are right, yes.
[David:] I don't know, a car like this you could pick either of them.
[Chris:] Sure.
[David:] , cheaper, where the one gets quite.
[Chris:] No, no, quite performance is not what counts is it?
[David:] No. That shows you how long our tank is, it's the other side.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]... Don't you think it would reach?
[David:] Well it probably would, but I got to anyway.
[Chris:] Yes... What's that? That's an unleaded only pump I think.
[David:] Oh it's premium, it's premium unleaded.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Mind you they talk about premium don't they?
[Chris:] You save a few more coppers don't you?
[David:] Yes, you do.
[Chris:] Forty five point four, I'll, I'll sort this out in a minute, I don't normally have this trouble at the station. Ah, I can't see what
[David:] It's the same price as the other one, so, presumably it's the same stuff.
[Chris:] Ah well.
[David:] Yes, yep,. It's the B S seventy seven premium, it's very small letters, I don't think it's anything different.
[Chris:] And erm, they've got some new system of a little plastic card, which they stick into the machine each time.
[David:] so they give you a credit.
[Chris:] It, well it notches up points for Argos.
[David:] Well I bet you. Argos.
[Chris:] Oh are they?
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] Oh I see.
[David:] Yeah.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] When you've saved up a card, I don't know how many there are in it you got a pound worth of gifts at
[Chris:] It... it's all rather ironic when you think that Argos grew out of Green Shield.
[David:] Yes, yes, that's right.
[Chris:] It's, it's the same system eventually isn't it?
[David:] It is yes. With Green Shield Stamps it's amazing how quickly they went out just like that, didn't they?
[Chris:] Yes, I believe what did it was Tesco's them out.
[David:] Ah.
[Chris:] Tesco were the grocery chain and the Green Shield Stamps and it was the kiss of death for Green Shield when they did that.
[David:] Did they pull out?
[Chris:] They staggered on for a year or two after that, but Tesco's had a big, big change of policy they were no longer high and kick them out cheap, they decided to promote a quality in which stamps did not go for and erm
[David:] You can get Green Shield Stamps again in some garages can't you?
[Chris:] I don't know.
[David:] I'm sure, I thought the one down the bottom did Green Shield, or is that something else they do?
[Chris:] I, I don't, that's ahead of us you mean?
[David:] No, just here. There it is.
[Chris:] Yeah, oh really,.
[David:] You'll have that recorded on your er
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[David:] Any noise.
[Chris:] I, I pity the poor typist has to transcribe this as and when if it happens, ha, ha she's going to get some very strange noises, including me having a pee and flushing the loo before lunch, what have you, I forgot to switch it off. [LAUGHTER]
[David:] So you obviously can't edit it can you, or you shouldn't it'll be pointless
[Chris:] Well I, I can, I mean if, if somebody erm, objects to the fact that being recorded and let's say erm private business meeting or something in that sense
[David:] Oh, that, that switches off completely?
[Chris:] That's right.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] That's right.
[David:] Presumably.
[Chris:] But if somebody, and they say to you, try, try not to tell people in advance because it inhibits them, I, I'm not at all certain about that, but still, erm
[David:] Some people might object to it.
[Chris:] But if people object when you tell them afterwards, you're at liberty to erase and, so
[David:] Yes
[Chris:] on and so forth, so,
[David:] you tend to tell them first?
[Chris:] Well, not necessarily, sometimes I don't tell them at all or they comment on it and I explain, it's a, but it's only been yesterday and today you see really.
[David:] Yeah.
[Chris:] They, they asked that it be done on a Friday and a Saturday and that they appeared on Thursday with it, erm, I'm getting on with it. [LAUGHTER] It was quite entertaining yesterday, today's becoming a bit of a bore because the tapes only last forty five minutes, so you've got to
[David:] Course, yes.
[Chris:] change, change over and change the tapes and all that sort of thing and erm they give you packets of batteries and your supposed to change the batteries every two to three tapes, every four sides in other words. So you're fiddling around with it and that.
[David:] Yes, yes.
[Chris:] It's a proper Sony Walkman.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] It's certainly good quality recording.
[David:] Mm. I've just got it hooked on the mouth here you see.
[Chris:] Oh it is, yes. Make the exercise worthwhile.
[David:] Mm. Cos language does change doesn't it? I mean
[Chris:] Very much so, yes.
[David:] words certainly do go out, you forget, when you go to use a word that hasn't been in use sometime and the younger person says to you what does that mean?
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Yes indeed. [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Words, with the old coinage have completely gon well not completely gone, but they don't have the same meaning do they?
[Chris:] I can remember several years ago bringing in a seventeen year old baby sitter to sit with Susannah, and I heard thirty bob.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] And she said, well what's is it? She had not a clue.
[David:] No.
[Chris:] Not a clue.
[David:] Well I suppose like that it's not worth tuppence really.
[Chris:] Yes. But they will say two pence these days won't they? Not tuppence.
[David:] Yeah, not tuppence. No.
[Chris:] And, and look at you as if you're an old fogey if you say tuppence I expect. And do you remember as a child, people used to talk of four and twenty and five and twenty past?
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] That's totally disappeared hasn't it?
[David:] Yes, I, I mean, they talk about twenty past the hour, twenty to four.
[Chris:] Yes, but instead of twenty five past, they've said five and twenty past
[David:] They did
[Chris:] quite often.
[David:] yes.
[Chris:] And eh, curious twist that.
[David:] Yes, I, I think really that's why it's a lot easier to read the time on an analogue display than it is on a digital display. You virtually have to read that and register it.
[Chris:] That's right and the point really is with time, you're not interested that it's two twenty four.
[David:] No.
[Chris:] You, are, are, am I early,
[David:] but
[Chris:] am I on time, am I late,
[David:] yes
[Chris:] have I to, how long is it till I'm due, whatever.
[David:] , you glance at your watch and discover that it's not half past isn't it?
[Chris:] That, that's right, you've still got time or you'd better get a move on, it's that sort of reaction that your brain makes isn't it?
[David:] You're not really worried about the time to the last minute, I mean
[Chris:] No.
[David:] twenty five past is nearer.
[Chris:] That's right, that's right, I, I tend to keep my watch to the minute if I possibly can, but that's bad habit or really habit from the days when I was catching trains every day, and I'd never caught a train with any time to spare, erm
[David:] Well with watch they don't. They don't very much anyway do they? Or yours do?
[Chris:] Mine's a good old fashioned proper mechanical wind up job yes.
[David:] Wind up, yes.
[Chris:] My father gave it to me for my seventeenth birthday.
[David:] Oh really and you still wear it daily?
[Chris:] I do indeed, yes, yes, it's the only watch I own, and it's the only watch I've ever had, no, no, that's true, er not true I should say I've got a half hunter.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] Which eh, if I put this in for cleaning, or.
[David:] That's unusual isn't it, because I always think, I mean I, this is really only about the second watch I've ever had good one. First good watch I had was for my twenty first, I've still got, it still goes
[Chris:] Yes
[David:] quite well.
[Chris:] yes. Well my father was a commercial traveller in jewellery, silver ware
[David:] Oh was he?
[Chris:] watches, and this is actually one of his samples.
[David:] Yeah.
[Chris:] And this is a Sotino which is a quality brand in those days, I, I, don't know if it still is, I assume it is, erm, which was not advertised at all, and although the Rolex's and so on in this world have been heavily advertised as they came on the market, Sotino's never really was, so my father had a struggle I suspect selling. [LAUGHTER] Yeah.
[David:] Where do you take it when it needs erm, there aren't that many places are there?
[Chris:] No there aren't, I had it done last year at erm, oh what's it called,, Sidcup.
[David:] Oh I know.
[Chris:] Do you know the?
[David:] Yes, little tiny place
[Chris:] Beyond the station
[David:] yes...
[Chris:] yes tiny little place, and it was, it wasn't totally satisfactory initially in that they erm, they left it with some sort of erm cock up, I couldn't wind it up, there was something wrong with the crown click, or something of the sort, when I got it back, so I had to take it back again, but otherwise they seemed to be people who are well aware of watches in the best sense and eh, he said this is a... an excellent movement and eh far better than the ones I normally see.
[David:] Mm.
[Chris:] Erm, but, I mean it doesn't look very special does it? But absolutely everything of course other than the movement changed since I was seventeen.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] New case, new dial, new hands, new everything.
[David:] Really?
[Chris:] And, and I suspect that'll be jolly difficult to get that sort of thing done these days.
[David:] I think a new face would be very expensive.
[Chris:] Mm, mm. Oh yes, but I, I think as I recall I got it without too, without too much trouble. But I mean, going back to the fact it's my one and only watch, I should think Susannah has had eight or ten watches.
[David:] I, I think people must do because the number of them that are sold.
[Chris:] She, she, looks upon them as a thoroughly disposable commodity.
[David:] Yes, yeah.
[Chris:] Five or ten pounds is the price that has to be paid for them and they last six months and they move on to the next, extraordinary approach.
[David:] They use Swatch watches don't you.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, she's, she's had, she's had one of those and I haven't seen that for a long time. She's got some stupid thing at the moment with, with a flip top of Thomas the Tank Engine.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] When Stephanie's mother died we found in the bungalow a watch, it must of been given I would of thought to her father probably for his twenty first and I took it to a jewellers in Elton, well that's all he does is watches actually apart from jewellery.
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[David:] And eh, he seemed very knowledgeable, I mean we got a job to find him, he hasn't actually got a shop, he's just got a premises.
[Chris:] Oh yeah.
[David:] It's the place, that if you take your watch into the average shop they take it to him I think.
[Chris:] I see, yes, yes, oh next time I need one I shall ask you then.
[David:] Yes, he was very knowledgeable, very helpful.
[Chris:] Mm, Mm.
[David:] Eh...
[Chris:] Yes in somewhere like that it's not a place you leave your
[David:] Oh
[Chris:] watch in confidence is it?
[David:] gosh, no, I mean all they do now these days is sell them, they don't repair them.
[Chris:] That's right, that's right, yes...
[David:] that's a slight, mistake to call them jewellers, cos they're not really, that at all are they?
[Chris:] Yes, yes, I know even, even Ratner himself called them tat or
[David:] Yeah.
[Chris:] crap or something didn't he?
[David:] He did that to get publicity, cos in fact they found that it wasn't eh, rubbish he was selling in there.
[Chris:] Well it, it, at least it's gold, I mean, I, I, I was in the jewellery trade when I first left school, between school and national service I worked at a manufacturing jewellers in Birmingham and I've never really gone along with the idea that nine carat is actually gold. If something is only three eights
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] gold, how can you call it gold?
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] The essence of is copper alloy, it's got more than fifty percent copper in it.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] That's the way I always thought, and if it's only got thirty seven and a half percent of gold in it, how on earth can you call it gold?
[David:] So nine carat is only
[Chris:] It's nine twenty fourths. Pure gold is twenty four carat.
[David:] Ah, yes of course it is.
[Chris:] So you get nine carat which is thirty seven and a half, eighteen carat which is seventy five percent and twenty two which is, ha, ha, ha, whatever it is.
[David:] Yeah.
[Chris:] A little over ninety per cent I suppose, and erm, I'm not sure if you got fourteen or fifteen carat, so fourteen I think is used with the continental standard and the lowest continental standard now are fifteen used to be our inbetween standard, very rarely used.
[David:] But nine and eighteen are the most common in this country?
[Chris:] Yes, they are, yes, definitely.
[David:] The trouble is the more you get, the more, is the softer is the jewellery.
[Chris:] That's, that's true, eh, I mean the alloy in the other ones have to be quite crafty when you get up to twenty two carat for example and eh, very eh, eh, large chunk of gold in it, and it can indeed be very soft, but then you see that's an eighteen carat ring that I've had for, worn, all the time for twenty four years
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] and it really was pretty much like that when I had it, so eh, it's probably a bit more rounded than it was.
[David:] Yes, yes.
[Chris:] So they, they do last.
[David:] Yeah. Oh, yes, because rings come in to quite a bit of wear don't they?
[Chris:] Yes, oh yes, yes, yes, no with doubt. I had one repaired for Susannah, it had been left to her by an aunt and she had managed to smash it against a post or something and broke the shank and knocked out one of the erm, stones, so on and so forth, and eh, together with some repairs on a charm bracelet I had to pay thirty seven pounds for the whole jolly lot. [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Did you really, yes, yes. But it's, I think when you look at the cost of labour these days, it's not surprising any sort of repairs are expensive.
[Chris:] It's very true.
[David:] They've got to pay for the premises
[Chris:] Yes
[David:] and eh
[Chris:] yes, absolutely.
[David:] It's a fairly, well it is a skilled trade isn't it?
[Chris:] And I took it to the people up on Royal Parade, who are constantly having burglaries, no, that's that's true, they have had several quite chunky burglaries
[David:] Mm.
[Chris:] and erm, eh, they have must be absolutely horrific, you have to pay for all that sort of thing don't you?
[David:] Yes of course you do, yes.
[Chris:] It doesn't work on Saturdays eh?
[David:] It doesn't work at all at the moment.
[Chris:] Oh really.
[David:] I don't think.
[Chris:] I see, yes, it's not the most stimulating job in the world is it?
[David:] No. [LAUGHTER] Stretch your money in small amounts like that. prepared to do it, there's quite a few cars.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] I suspect that more people use it cos you don't have to pay. It's not paying it's the hold up isn't it?
[Chris:] That's right, that's right, the irritated.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] Gets on with it. Yes that's quite something isn't it, did you see that in the gate of the college, a security man?
[David:] Yes, yes.
[Chris:] There's something I must do over here is go Govidge Gallery. I have never set foot in it.
[David:] No I haven't, no.
[Chris:] And it, it's supposed to have some splendid pictures, a very fine collection indeed.
[David:] It is, yes, yes. We... we played poker games in Dulwich College last year.
[Chris:] Oh yes.
[David:] Erm, well it was a match actually eh, that the, Bromley organised, she said she was keen on.
[Chris:] Are we in, Bromley still here?
[David:] No this is Dulwich.
[Chris:] Dulwich which is Suffolk or
[David:] Yes, it must be.
[Chris:] Suffolk own a big place Bell, Bell something or other in the next road here don't they?
[David:] Do they?
[Chris:] A great big old country house.
[David:] Oh.
[Chris:] And it's, it's a big garden.
[David:] No, we, we, played in Bromley itself.
[Chris:] Did you?
[David:] Yes
[Chris:] Yes
[David:] I think the only reason they all, they, well it was her team against us, eh they
[Chris:] Oh I see.
[David:] I think the only people which sides with masters from Dulwich College
[Chris:] I see, yes.
[David:] cos they play croquet there.
[Chris:] They have their own.
[David:] They have their own pitch.
[Chris:] Pitch, is pitch the right word?
[David:] Er lawn.
[Chris:] Lawn, right.
[David:] Needless to say that neither of them
[Chris:] Good. [LAUGHTER]
[David:] But she's very nice I think she goes through till about June.
[Chris:] Oh yes, it's not Doreen still is it? The, the lady.
[David:] No, no, I can't remember her name,rath... rather an attractive lady I thought, very pleasant.
[Chris:] Yes I'm certain this is the road that Carlos used to live in.
[David:] It's a very nice road, I mean some very nice houses.
[Chris:] Very pleasant road, yes. Yes.
[David:] I think it's club just here somewhere. Steven.
[Chris:] Which club, sorry?
[David:] The croquet club.
[Chris:] Oh right...
[David:] I don't know whether there'll be any playing there.
[Chris:] People might get down later, really.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] Do you tend to book the lawn or eh
[David:] No, never.
[Chris:] just turn up, whatever, see what happens?
[David:] Well he needs to know when there's a match on, otherwise you wouldn't get a game.
[Chris:] Quite.
[David:] Just hope there's not one on today, but I'm pretty sure there isn't.
[Chris:] Mm, mm...
[David:] This is Dulwich Sports Club.
[Chris:] I see...
[David:] It's not that far.
[Chris:] No, no.
[David:] It's about twenty minutes.
[Chris:] Surely, yes.
[David:] Very convenient for me in the evenings, if I want to stop off, have a
[Chris:] Very pleasant way to unwind, I would think.
[David:] Oh it is, yes.
[Chris:] How long does a game take, as a general rule David?
[David:] Ah, maybe it's about three hours.
[Chris:] Gosh, [LAUGHTER], oh, it's a kind of golf then isn't it?
[David:] Er, yes, very much so, I think that, to some extent, depending on the standard of the players.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] And how well one can play.
[Chris:] Yes, fair enough. Friend of mine, I had a beer with in the week, showed me his new car, and he said the big irritation is it doesn't centrally lock [LAUGHTER], having been used to it.
[David:] Yeah.
[Chris:] He eh,. Don't have.
[David:] No that's erm,.
[Chris:] Oh yes.
[David:] used to make bowls off, because they got too expensive.
[Chris:] Oh yes, aha.
[David:] , those dents.
[Chris:] Yes,.
[David:] The ideal weight for is about three pounds.
[Chris:] Oh I see, yes, yes and what's the facing on it?
[David:] Well I've had to have it faced with nine on, because in the end, it, even with it gets erm, damaged.
[Chris:] Aha, yes.
[David:] We've got two lawns, that, that, this one's a bit smaller, but it's about.
[Chris:] That's about the right size.
[David:] Yes, yes, eh, I just see, come with me.
[Chris:] Thank you. I'll get it right.
[speaker007:] Hello, hello.
[David:] Hello, how are you? Hello, Chris has come down to see what croquet is all about.
[speaker007:] Oh really, hello, hello.
[Chris:] Hello.
[speaker007:] Somebody who pretends to like it.
[Chris:] Yes, so I've gathered yes, yes..
[speaker007:] Playing at it, playing at it, [LAUGHTER] we're struggling.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Is there erm, a club manager in there?
[speaker007:] No.
[Chris:] buildings David. [LAUGHTER] wonderful. How splendid.
[David:] Two, two colours ball, that's primary coloured.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] colours, that means you can double bank on the lawn, you can have two games going on at once.
[Chris:] Oh I see, that's crafty, yes, yes...
[David:] I'll take the best one.
[Chris:] What's the significance of the black tip?
[David:] Just to put the clips on them.
[Chris:] Oh I see, yes, yeah.
[David:] ...
[Chris:] Members leave their mallets here as often as not do they?
[David:] Yes, they do. I don't tend to. because I might want to play somewhere else anyway get caught, I just tend to leave it in the car.
[Chris:] Absolutely, yes. Oh thank you. Yes. Oh yes, there's a good weight in that head isn't there?
[David:] Yeah.
[Chris:] Sorry what say about three pounds?
[David:] Three pounds is goes all weekend.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] What I'll do to pick it up play a game, probably play a game later. Get used to those shots, right.
[Chris:] Oh.
[David:] Problem is when you're demonstrating is you tend to do things wrong [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] I mean, you should be able to have an awful lot of gap.
[Chris:] They don't do they, no.
[David:] about an eighth in size. Yes, this standard is alright, but the championship would be about a sixteen. Though what you should do is, is, just walk up to the ball, that line through there.
[Chris:] Oh right.
[David:] It enables you to line that up.
[Chris:] It's, it's a sight. Yes, yes.
[David:] It's fairly important that as, when you walk up to the ball you're body is in line with, where you want to be.
[Chris:] Right, right.
[David:] And then, as you walk up, you really should sort of almost end in the ideal place and then having lined up the shot, put it through like that.
[Chris:] Right and it's anticipated that you will strike the erm, the hoop in the process.
[David:] Yes, yes, there's no harm in that, I mean it would be nice to go through cleanly, but
[Chris:] Right, yes.
[David:] How you hold the mallet is really up to you, eh there are many different ways, you can hold it like that, you can hold it down there, up there
[Chris:] Oh.
[David:] like that, just a, however you feel comfortable.
[Chris:] It's, it's a question of control and movement.
[David:] You'll find it, the better I don't rank much but, tend, tend, to, to, just do that and it'll go through.
[Chris:] Yes, yes. You tend to let the mallet do the work rather than
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[David:] quite the height.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] same sort of height as me, and surely. Anyway just, just try that.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] . Obviously taking a bit harder.
[Chris:] Right, yes.
[David:] Can you see, that ball weighs about a pound, so gotta be able to
[Chris:] Yeah, right, right.
[David:] You take a bit of force.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, quite. Yes, yes, I, yes I take your point.
[David:] . If you're going to approach the that's the striker's move.
[Chris:] I see.
[David:] That.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] So you'll try and just get the back a little, lean perhaps a little bit over towards there, like that, erm,
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] Then if you want blue to go the other side of the hoop and black to go here say, to the black won't go quite so far and the blue will.
[Chris:] Right, so that you'll do a clean run through.
[David:] Then you can that ball again.
[Chris:] Right. Right. Then you've got a continuation shot.
[David:] Having run you've got another continuation shot.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] You then take, that's how you would progress through the hoop.
[Chris:] Right, right, and you'll use an opponent's ball normally or any ball?
[David:] When you're, until you're in danger of breaking down, I mean breaking down would be when you'd approach the hoop like that and you realize you can't run it.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] And you've got your opponent's ball the other side of the hoop, and the blue ball's over there somewhere, so you obviously wouldn't try and run the hoop, you'll just join back up with your partner's ball.
[Chris:] To scupper the opposition.
[David:] Well he, he
[Chris:] To give him nothing to play with. Yes, yes.
[David:] Erm, no, I mean, ideally you'll make the break if you have another ball.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] Having made the two, comes through to there, you just having clear of the metal work, you put, this is a three foot, just not in it at the moment.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] You'd want to put that yellow ball up on your next hoop and and get black somewhere near the blue, so then you can run that.
[Chris:] I see, yes, yes.
[David:] Something like that, it's not very good..
[Chris:] Yes, oh yes.
[David:] . The trouble is with demonstrating is talking as well as.
[Chris:] No, no, no problem.
[David:] . I need to get that, just that little bit further this time
[Chris:] Right, right.
[David:] round the hoop, well that should come back up., like to come back up onto the yard line.
[Chris:] I see, now what about the red?
[David:] Well.
[Chris:] We ignore that as we're not actually playing.
[David:] . Ideally that would be in the middle there somewhere as a pivot.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] To, you've gone through the hoop, so, you've pushed so.
[Chris:] Oh so it's not a straightforward round the outside, and up the middle?
[David:] Oh you have to got there in a minute.
[Chris:] Yes, I see.
[David:] We're putting red, we're putting blue on the.
[Chris:] Oh I see, I see, yes.
[David:] I'm just going up near red ourselves.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] That's a bit better.
[Chris:] Yes, smashing. Right, so long as we then strike yellow, we can put it in. Move forward onto the hoop.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] Doesn't matter if yellow goes off. Doesn't matter if the ball goes off in the, or when you're running a hoop, it just comes back up.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] But at any other time it's the end of your turn.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] Now we've got, this is a roll shot,, and we want the yellow to go beyond and the black to stop just in front of of the hoop.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] Oh.
[Chris:] Does that matter?
[David:] . Should be able to get through there. Secret here is to miss that.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] If you miss that, it's got to go through.
[Chris:] Yep.
[David:] Well, if you put a, just hit it down a little bit, I got, probably won't get through, but if you hit it down a little bit to give it a bit of spin it might carry it through. very nearly didn't it?
[Chris:] Mm.
[David:] You see it?
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[David:] If it had been spinning a bit more, it would of kept on.
[Chris:] Yep, yep.
[David:] Let's just assume that we've hit that, erm that would have been
[Chris:] That would have
[David:] that would have been the end of my turn.
[Chris:] Oh would it? No, it's got, it's got to be cleanly through, right, fine.
[David:] This side.
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[David:] So what you see people doing is this, oh no, you shouldn't do that.
[Chris:] Aha.
[David:] I say to you, well I mean I say to you it's not through, that's accepted.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] If I say to you do you think that's through
[Chris:] Yes, yes, very questionable, well it's, it's
[David:] they say to me, yes that's through, it's O K, so that's it you don't have to
[Chris:] Right, right.
[David:] I think really if you're doing that, you should ask somebody else to come and
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] But once you do that, soon as you put your mallet against the hoop, you push the hoop if it's loose forward anyway
[Chris:] Yes, indeed you have, yes, yes.
[David:] and eh, you've obviously dislodged the situation where somebody else should argue perhaps,
[Chris:] Yes yes, yes, that's right yes.
[David:] But if, if I say to you no I'm sorry Chris that's through
[Chris:] Mm, mm.
[David:] then you would have to accept it, cos it's really the person who's in play who's the referee.
[Chris:] Yes right, I see.
[David:] In a certain and friendly way.
[Chris:] Yes, yes indeed, yes, fine.
[David:] I mean, I, I would say, almost certain that's not true is it?
[Chris:] I, I can just see a touch of the black.
[David:] That's right, it's not through, I mean we both agree it's not through
[Chris:] Mm quite, quite, yes.
[David:] but you'll see players who, I mean, I mean, did it the other day when I was playing and she did this, oh yes, she I said you've moved it, I thoroughly accepted it wasn't through, you shouldn't do that.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] How can, how can you possibly put that ball back where it was?
[Chris:] Yes, absolutely, yes.
[David:] Yeah.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] You can see it wasn't through, we both agreed it.
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[David:] . Erm, push that yellow down,, erm, so let push it down there, ah, not hard enough, because the black should have gone nearer to the red.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] And then red down to blue all the way round.
[Chris:] I see, yes.
[David:] Very [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] So long as you ke... keep me on the straight and narrow at the same time really.
[David:] Oh, oh, I'll tell you when you
[Chris:] Yeah, thank you. Why do you actually need the white sticks to a mark up
[David:] , out there when you take a free shot,. A nine..
[Chris:] I see, yeah, yeah.
[David:] Mm. Yes, problem with, a problem really is they don't. Probably win anyway.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] It's not prospective, but eh
[Chris:] No, no.
[David:] You don't, you don't break out so many times.
[Chris:] I really haven't got a clue yes, yes.
[David:] But I've got.
[Chris:] Make a guess, I, I, got the message. Yes, right. Yes, that's the, that's the sort of problem I'm in for isn't it? Yes.
[David:] You know probably make it a bit easier, but it's not. if you watch them people over there.
[Chris:] Really, well what'll you call this croquet?
[David:] Croquet Association.
[Chris:] Association.
[David:] Eh, I don't think.
[Chris:] And they've got two matches going on together have they, they're, they've different colour balls? Oh I see.
[David:] She can't even get the hang of it. arrangements.
[Chris:] Ah.
[David:] Oh well, let's have a game.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Let's see how we get on.
[Chris:] Yes please.
[David:] . You got to have, got to to keep.
[Chris:] Yes. Right. [LAUGHTER]
[David:] That has been caught.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Taking the.
[Chris:] Yeah, sorry, I was miles away, I'd lost anyway mentally, I mentally I lost.
[David:] Did you?
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[David:] Now I had the choice of going first,, so if I choose to go first then you can choose the colours..
[Chris:] Right. Occasionally you're forced into the other then you'll, then you'll, down aren't you?
[David:] Of course you are, you'll just. Erm, as of one, I think first.
[Chris:] Good.
[David:] Erm.. During this first hit it's important to get the speed of the lawn, try and judge where you want the ball to end up to.
[Chris:] Right, right,.
[David:] . That's what I was trying to do, I don't mind if it goes off
[Chris:] You, oh, right.
[David:] cos I don't think,.
[Chris:] Right, right, that was your object to get it as far away from the competition as possible really.
[David:] Well, yeah,.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Erm, try and get it stop near the.
[Chris:] I see, I see what you mean, yes, yes, yes, yes, yep got you.
[David:] Eh, you can start a game anywhere on this foot... foot-line which is called the line,. One up there.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] So you, you would normally start here.
[Chris:] Yeah.
[David:] Which.
[Chris:] Yeah. Right, yep, O K. Rather over muscled, control it better yes.
[David:] joining up at my thumb.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] Erm quite some distance.
[Chris:] Quite.
[David:] Cos I wrote, you know that I, be very lucky to make it.
[Chris:] Absolutely, yes.
[David:] Especially at the beginning of the game.
[Chris:] Yep.
[David:] and eh,... Ball goes.
[Chris:] Yes. Yeah. Right.
[David:] can't see, can't remember what the are balls behind or wha... where they are.
[Chris:] Yes, fine.
[David:] So... just be a touching ball.
[Chris:] Yes it is.
[David:] Move over to the blue.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] And you.
[Chris:] Right. Yes.
[David:] . Yes, you can see when the ball goes off, then you'll end up in the far corner.
[Chris:] Right, right.
[David:] Oh hold on, you've got, you've got a, you could have a shot at those, but I think at this stage of the game, it'll be best if you did have a shot at the yellow.
[Chris:] Right. So it, would, would give me some aggression then would it?
[David:] If you hit it, yes.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] yes, a very good point... [hits ball], ah.
[David:] Not bad, I mean like that. You need to watch where that goes off, almost certainly
[Chris:] Yeah.
[David:] comes up a yard.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] Your balls are well separated, I mean, the best I can do is take off the yellow, then I can make the. Put it on the one we're going to go through, or the one we've been through?
[Chris:] Oh I see, normally. Right. I see right.
[David:] . When you start is to do a thing, put that mallet down like that and then line up the which you need to go.
[Chris:] I see. Yes.
[David:] The other ball contact, must be a contact there.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Just about enough the red from. Now that yellow, that blue ball must move
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] otherwise it's fault. Now where that centre of that V is where the black ball will go.
[Chris:] Right. Got you.
[David:] I, I don't tend to do it like that at all, I do [hits ball] it very nearly go, it's on the wrong side unfortunately..
[Chris:] Yes, yes, it, it did curl with the grass didn't it?
[David:] Yes..
[Chris:] Right. What you didn't want to do in that case, no
[David:] No..
[Chris:] Yes indeed. Right.
[David:] You can.
[Chris:] Yes, I see.
[David:] So it doesn't matter if this ball goes off. [hits ball] Moving slightly the wrong way.
[Chris:] Yes. Yes.
[David:] , where, where you want the ball to come back.
[Chris:] I understand, yes, yes. Right.
[David:] And there's no benefit of having a row as you had before.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] . The black would of come up about there.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Which would've enabled me to rush, up there, but I didn't.
[Chris:] Right. Right. O K
[David:] Right now you come out or go up to red. I think I would just go up to red
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] till you've got the feel of it, I.
[Chris:] Right, fine.
[David:] And the object is to hit red.
[Chris:] Yes, quite, quite, it's, it's intriguing because it's so un... so different to what I had in mind. [LAUGHTER] [hits ball] Eh that was strange stuff...
[David:] If I can get it up
[Chris:] Right. Would it have been better if it had not been a corner ball? The other side, aha.
[David:] What goes one, two, three, three would be very nice.
[Chris:] Fine.
[David:] Oh, I've got a.
[Chris:] Yes. Yep.
[David:] In great danger when you do it with a cos the other ball.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] You're not aiming a.
[Chris:] Yes. [hits ball]
[David:] That's quite nice.
[Chris:] Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yes you have. Oh I see, you can start in that hoop as well can you?
[David:] No, I want to go down there.
[Chris:] No, no, you still want to get back down there.
[David:] Oh yeah.
[Chris:] Even though you start from that corner, you can't go through that hoop.
[David:] Oh no.
[Chris:] The hoop on the opposite side first time, right, I see.
[David:] That's not bad.
[Chris:] No, that's pretty good.
[David:] It doesn't matter where.
[Chris:] No, I need blue at this stage, yellow you need now.
[David:] Or indeed, one, even if, even if the yellow goes off.
[Chris:] O K.
[David:] . [hits ball]
[Chris:] Smashing.
[David:] Well, a bit better.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] The rest was.
[Chris:] No, no, [sniff] the red's not terribly helpful to you at the moment. Yes, yes, yes. [hits ball] Right. [hits ball]
[David:] curled round.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Erm
[Chris:] That was erm
[David:] You've got to move this ball
[Chris:] O K.
[David:] cos if you don't, I shall just your black to a take on
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] and I've got a ball in my hoop.
[Chris:] I see.
[David:] That's the ball you've got to.
[Chris:] Yes, fine.
[David:] You can have a shot at red, you can do that, then I will do exactly what I did just now.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Try and eh, I shall, probably get it even better, mind, most people would have a shot at those two I think
[Chris:] Yes, O K.
[David:] cos you're not giving very much away.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] The other alternative is just to go off in that corner over there. It's very negative.
[Chris:] Well, I yes, yes, I [LAUGHTER] doesn't appeal to me at all. [LAUGHTER] Yes, right. Move, move, move it out, right. Right I shall go for the blue, well actually, black, black is better cos blue went squiffy.
[David:] Well.
[Chris:] Yes that's true. Ah. Right, right yes.
[David:] Eh, you can see where the was there.
[Chris:] Yep.
[David:] Probably somewhere round here, must be.
[Chris:] Other side?.
[David:] Got to be this side.
[Chris:] Right. Fine.
[David:] Not a very accurate.
[Chris:] No.
[David:] . One of the problems was really was.
[Chris:] Yes. Yep.
[David:] I've already so I've had it.
[Chris:] Oh bad luck.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] So I've, well what I can do is go down there. Unfortunately that's right in the way. [hits ball] I've got a continuation shot, well what I shall do is just try and line them up for a rush down to, which is not bad.
[Chris:] No. Fine.
[David:] O K.
[Chris:] O K.
[David:] I think probably that red
[Chris:] Yes, back down here again? Yes I have, yes.
[David:] Erm, take.
[Chris:] Right. But it's still best to remove the temptation here.
[David:] Yeah, it would.
[Chris:] Right, right.
[David:] down here..
[Chris:] Right, O K. Right.
[David:] So what, what most people do, is when they bring the mallets back, they tend to twist them.
[Chris:] Aha. Yes.
[David:] It's easy when you're pushing forward to keep it straight, it's when you bring it back it tends to twist.
[Chris:] Surely.
[David:] So try and concentrate on bringing it back and then, bring, I mean, you can bring it back fairly slowly.
[Chris:] Alright, oh fine, yes. [hits ball]
[David:] Very good, it's nice to see you hitting a ball like that.
[Chris:] Yes, it felt good too.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] You could actually feel it working well.
[David:] Yes, you brought the mallet back nice and slowly.
[Chris:] And I was aiming between them to be honest. [LAUGHTER]
[David:] You obviously could of got.
[Chris:] O K, I should, yes.
[David:] Erm, you can always stop and ask.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] The trouble is you can make, there's a lot of people, it's very easy when you're concentrating on what you're going to do next, you forget the colour you're playing.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Especially when you're making a break, so having made the.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] So you know you're playing with red.
[Chris:] I see, yes.
[David:] Cos don't forget you're playing with two balls.
[Chris:] Quite. Right.
[David:] Eh, the danger is, if you don't, then, break down, if you leave my blue near the er black break down then I'm just going to get back in.
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[David:] So, with, if a very difficult shot, what what I'll do is just. Let's just do a.
[Chris:] To, to, not necessarily to hit the black, but to
[David:] No not necessarily.
[Chris:] Right, O K,.
[David:] Just a little tap, that's all, you need.
[Chris:] Yes, fine, O K.
[David:] . That's lovely, yes.
[Chris:] Good.
[David:] Now, what you can do is try and cut it towards the middle of your line of aim.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] On that side.
[Chris:] Fine. No, the red, yes.
[David:] The black.
[Chris:] The black, the black.
[David:] Doesn't matter about the red.
[Chris:] O K, fine. I'm aiming left to the black, yes?
[David:] Yes, that's right, slightly off, to the left.
[Chris:] Right, fine.
[David:] Slightly off centre. Because of the danger of that ball jumping, you hit over the top like that, it'll jump.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] You, you take up the normal I don't tend to do this, but this is really the best way to do the shot.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Take up your normal start and then just tap the back a little bit cos you're hitting that ball on the upward swing then and there's no danger that you're gonna jump over it. See if you'll try and get it to jump if you [hits ball].
[Chris:] Yes, yes, yep.
[David:] Very, very easy to get the finger on the
[Chris:] Fine.
[David:] Erm, bumpy lawns, jump that over ball.
[Chris:] Right. So step back and hit... hit it on the up stroke.
[David:] Yeah, and try and ground the mallet a little bit, cos then the black ball will go quite nicely down there.
[Chris:] Oh right, fine.
[David:] The difficulty of this shot is trying to, trying.
[Chris:] You've got to get it to absolutely
[David:] You, I would normally if you're my opponent, I would say, Chris would you like to come and watch this shot?
[Chris:] I see, yes.
[David:] So that you could, if you're sitting over there, and I take the shot it's not fair on you cos you don't know.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] So what I've got to do is to try and get down to that, but do I actually stop the mallet dead when it, as it hits the blue, because if, I don't wanna move the blue ball, but, if, if I was to play it like that it would be an obvious crush the ball into the mallet.
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[David:] I mean, there again, you're seeing these players doing it, when you say, oh what, and you know they don't call somebody over to have a look at. Don't have to say
[Chris:] Yes, yes.
[David:] would you like to come and putt the shot
[Chris:] Right, right.
[David:] Erm, you can usually tell by the.
[Chris:] No.
[David:] It's only the one.
[Chris:] Indeed, indeed, yes.
[David:] That's why I told you the difference, you can't really
[Chris:] Yes. Shall I put my clip on there?
[David:] Yes you should.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] Assume I'm not here.
[Chris:] Yes. Right. Yep. Right. Presumably kicking the opponent's ball, it's, it's not acceptable.
[David:] , it's not a fault, the only time it's a fault is when you're erm, I don't know the words really, when you're actually in play, so if you were to take a, if you were actually doing this
[Chris:] Is that right? Yes.
[David:] then, that's a fault.
[Chris:] Oh, yes.
[David:] It's actually taken.
[Chris:] I understand, yes. Yes.
[David:] , I'm still in play as it were, and I do that then it's.
[Chris:] Right, right, I see.
[David:] But it's not a fault if you, erm, sort of walk up to that ball and erm, do this, it's not a fault.
[Chris:] No, I see.
[David:] O K?
[Chris:] Yes, good, O K.
[David:] What you really want to do is to get together through to there don't you?
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Or there, so you can rush, across to there.
[Chris:] Fine... Oh twit, [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Put it back where it was and then.
[Chris:] Yes, quite, quite, out, I think I thought it was going to shudder against the post and the hoop and Yes. [hits ball]
[David:] Lovely, great.
[Chris:] Right, yep. Putting the red, thank you, erm somewhere here.
[David:] That's it, isn't it.
[Chris:] Yes, right, right, yep. [hits ball]
[David:] You've got to get
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] cos the red goes straight line always, doesn't matter whether you hit it like that, that, that, that, that red ball will always
[Chris:] It'll move away on all through the line of contact, right.
[David:] O K?
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] The one that does take reflection, but I think you've got to aim really for that wire.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, good.
[David:] That's the trouble having got this far
[Chris:] I mean, you having stood there, I was deliberately aiming to, to strike that one.
[David:] , got straight through it.
[Chris:] Going straight through anyway, right, fine. I'm not capable of these weeny deflections anyway, so I don't know why the heck I'm bothering. [hits ball]
[David:] Always try to be behind the other ball when you come through the hoop, because you're going that way, you see?
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Erm, but erm, what I really wanted to do was to cover about.
[Chris:] Oh, oh sorry, it's... it's the next one we're aiming at, the one we're aiming at isn't it yes.
[David:] Yes, so to cut red, down, near that black ball is, lovely.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] There is a danger of red ball, you have a cut.
[Chris:] Right, O K.
[David:] Hit it on the right,.
[Chris:] Yep. Right.
[David:] To the right, yes. To... to the right?
[Chris:] Yellow ball.
[David:] Of course I'm sorry, for some strange reason I thought we were going that way, I've got to go through the other way haven't I? It, it's always from the out outside in, yes?
[Chris:] Well, except for on the way back.
[David:] Ah. Right.
[Chris:] You've got to really get to the right of that red, so can rush it down to the, left of that hoop with the red paint on it.
[David:] Right, so
[Chris:] Erm, what, the nice shot is to get back up to, there and get over to the yellow. I don't know whether you're going to do it.
[David:] Right, so black down there, yellow over there, O K.
[Chris:] . show you, then you
[David:] Yes please.
[Chris:] . I'm going to get the line in two balls where the black..
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] Then eh, on the ball's.
[David:] Yes. Yes, yes. I've got to get up to that next. [hits ball] I put the yellow up onto hoop three, [hits ball] Gone the wrong side.
[Chris:] . Yellow's nice, yeah, ah.
[David:] I don't think I'll have a chance.
[Chris:] Yes. Can you change your own ball during a go? Right. [hits ball] Right, right.
[David:] I think you've got to move the yellow near one of my hoops.
[Chris:] Right. Now that's your next hoop isn't it?
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] I am, I am indeed, yes, yes, I... I've got to deal with it some way, somehow. Move yellow onto red. Yes, yes, O K. What would've happened if the red ball had gone through?
[David:] Nothing.
[Chris:] Nothing.
[David:] If it had been your hoop, it would've count.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER], yes, yes, you... you would of. Yep, good. The ball, I've got a ball near my next two anyway
[David:] Mm mm.
[Chris:] and I've got to [hits ball], another out of, in play, which is always useful. [hits ball] Right.
[David:] Right.
[Chris:] Presumably when you do land in a position like that even though as you say you're getting near the end of the game for the blue ball, you wouldn't deliberately not go through the hoop, if you'll put in that, if you put yourself in that position? You,, no, you... you'd of played away. Yes. Right, right.
[David:] Now, I've really got to start thinking about where I want the ball to be.
[Chris:] Mm.
[David:] When a, it would be nice to have yellow, that yellow's fairly near the hoop
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] so if I can get that.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Mm.
[Chris:] Shall I go and get the tea? [hits ball]
[David:] Oh excellent.
[Chris:] Thank you very much. Yes! Yes! Yes! I think my, my head is actually somewhat Dave [LAUGHTER]. Well, which... which shot comes, in, after which shot and so on and so forth, I mean it's
[David:] It's a Roman Catholic Church.
[Chris:] Oh right. Yes, yes and, and there's no need to be going through a hoop, at any time, if you continuation constantly, you, you
[David:] Well, you've normally got to go through. You can't let the yellow ball.
[Chris:] Ah right, right, yes. [hits ball]
[David:] You can see how.
[Chris:] Yes, yes. Right.
[David:] There should be if we were, they should be. Taking that all the way round.
[Chris:] Yes, yes, yes. [hits ball] I see what you mean but a tactical game, my goodness, it's a
[David:] Oh yes. Done it in a match,, games, if I was playing against you, I would.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Fairly
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] how well you play.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] That's why I can start to take reasonable risks hitting in.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] . This obviously psychological. Think in many cases break down, break down in.
[Chris:] Quite. Yes, who... who is the arbiter?
[David:] Erm.
[Chris:] Oh really, yes, yes.
[David:] So, [hits ball], not.
[Chris:] Yes, it's tricky [LAUGHTER].
[David:] So now what they've done is playing a match. Depending on how many games.
[Chris:] I see. Yeah I think.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] Professional game.
[David:] Yes, yes, I seem yes. Yes. [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] . Purpose of the game.
[David:] Yes, yes.
[Chris:] And., I said, she said but I expect him to.
[David:] [LAUGHTER] Silly isn't it? Very silly.
[Chris:] I didn't take any notice of them after that.
[David:] No. No, no, no tut.
[Chris:] in fact they make me aggravated..
[David:] No quite, quite, yeah. Yes, just enjoy the game and company, yes I. Oh, Vincent's one, eh Roger's probably about the next best man, better of the two of us that's why. That's what gets you
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] more than anything.
[Chris:] And you take part in most of these competitions? It's the best thing of course so... It's a very weird thing to be doing really isn't it?
[David:] You can leave it there if you want even though it's the ladies
[Chris:] Yeah. Thank you
[David:] club house just to the left.
[Chris:] Right. There's certainly a fancy er club house there isn't it? What's what's this fancy building here David? Squash.
[David:] Oh! Is it? Right. Aha.
[Chris:] ... why we can't get on there, on the door Yes... fine.
[David:] Yes there's quite a... lay out in the main building.
[Chris:] Right
[David:] Croquet and squash. Bowls down the side
[Chris:] Oh yes.
[David:] It used to be about the best bowling green in the in this part of the country.
[Chris:] Did it really? Yes. Only the one tennis court?
[David:] No there's one there there's one here.
[Chris:] Oh yes.
[David:] Over there that's... behind me that's...
[Chris:] Oh yes, yes.
[David:] I am not sure whether it's those certainly where you can see the right players. Eileen's husband is the leading light in the bowls.
[Chris:] Oh is he? Really? And is that ah er another cricket team altogether or what? Club altogether?
[David:] That's another club. Yes. This is the club
[Chris:] Right. Yes.
[David:] I think he he had a heart attack recently. I think he is off of it now but I think he must be quite a leading light
[Chris:] Yes yes.
[David:] speak to David.
[Chris:] Oh was he? [LAUGHTER] Yes. Oh! Oh! Yes yes indeed now, now I'm there and there aren't I?
[David:] Now if you were using this this is what we would do. It's probably erm, yeah I think you'd probably have a shot at your yellow. Doesn't matter if you go off because you could come up behind it
[Chris:] Mmm mmm and it once
[David:] Yes yes. Fine.
[Chris:] Right. I could actually feel that in in my wrists yes
[David:] Soon as you think you're going to tense up too much you try the swing of the mallet.
[Chris:] Right. Right so that's
[David:] Well I think what you do is push the yellow somewhere towards the peg in the middle. Probably just the right you know, run.
[Chris:] Yes
[David:] Get the yellow to the right of the peg.
[Chris:] Fine.
[David:] Doesn't matter if you don't. If you kind of drop down behind the blue if you use the blue first and the bat's up there you gotta go sort of near to it to get behind you're going to rush down to your hoop. Now you've got a much easier shot haven't you?
[Chris:] Yes
[David:] You can just push blue back over there and and, or if you are not happy about that just a little take up. Bearing in mind that a take up is always a much more accurate shot, specially for beginners. It's just a little tiny tap and you're gonna...
[Chris:] That's it
[David:] get right about there aren't you?
[Chris:] Yep. Fine. [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Jolly good direction, but...
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Too jolly heavy.
[David:] Very good. That's lovely...
[Chris:] Gosh! Fourth time at last
[David:] No, you've got the wave right I mean you know
[Chris:] Yes. Yes.
[David:] I mean you know loads of people like this don't always get it right.
[Chris:] Really. Yes.
[David:] You want a nice little bit of lawn there. That's another thing that should be looked at because...
[Chris:] Yes. Yes
[David:] you could be on a rough patch or bumpy patch whatever yes yes
[Chris:] Weedy patch yes, yes fine.
[David:] So you can rush that blue down to the one now
[Chris:] Down beyond of the hoop ideally. Yes. That was probably...
[David:] I rather overdid the angle too didn't I, the cut?
[Chris:] Yeah, I think it's about, isn't it surely? That's a I'm very lucky I don't really have problems with the angles
[David:] Good.
[Chris:] ... at all but it's just. Yes it's much better.
[David:] Right.
[Chris:] Try a try a shot with a which would be a roll won't it? Most most people play this er with a fairly conventional croquet stroke because the black ball's the blue ball's gonna go twice the distance of the red. Isn't it?
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] Roughly.
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] So really just I I always have problems, I I always tend to play it down like that, I don't know why. But most, you should really stand up and play it with fairly, play together. You can't for real you can't really move blue ball you can move the red ball as much as you like but not... What you have to do is to... so just try a normally conventional... just sling straight through here
[David:] Yeah.
[Chris:] You're doing what I was always doing the red, the yellow, but try it again.
[David:] Yeah it was the red near the yellow you mean. Yes.
[Lynda:] Ivan Ivan!
[Susan:] Okay.
[Chris:] You can go now.
[David:] Right.
[Chris:] Hang on a bit. Try and step it forward
[David:] Right Yep. I was pushing wasn't I?
[Chris:] If I still was going down I'd do it like that
[David:] Lovely! Yes
[Chris:] or the blue I mean the red's gone all right. But that's what we're trying to do, trying
[David:] Right. Okay.
[Chris:] ... play the shot like that way, but I think whatever works for you. Well that's what counts isn't it?
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] So I'm now going straight for the black?
[David:] Oh no. You can move the yellow, can't you?
[Chris:] Oh yes. Yes I see.
[David:] What I would do, because you haven't got a blue hard enough is to push yellow off somewhere to the left of black
[Chris:] Yes?
[David:] so you can only push it across to three and get near the yellow, near the black.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] You must you must get at least a ball a pioneer ball near your next two
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] to stand a chance.
[Chris:] Okay. Fine.
[David:] So you come up behind it so that your body and the striker's ball, that being your red ball and the other ball, the object ball are always the same straight line I mean it doesn't matter whether you come in from the side you're walking up to it in a straight line put your mallet down, swing it through.
[Chris:] Yes. Lovely. Yes it all looks so darned easy when you do it David [LAUGHTER]. Yes.
[David:] I don't think it would be worth playing if it's easy.
[Chris:] No. Absolutely. Absolutely and the that's why the
[David:] You can't expect to get anything out of practice...
[Chris:] ... unless you concentrate on it Yes. Yes. Yes.
[David:] That's it. Now that was a nice hit. That's not quite
[Chris:] Not hard enough Yes.
[David:] Put the other way it was a good stroke. You can get over to over to bat. You don't need to be very near bat, do you? So you know again I tend to hit it downwards you see, but a lot of players don't even er lot of players play their rolls like that. I tend to.. you know a lot of players don't play any side shots they play all their shots like that.
[Chris:] Do they? yes. Yes.
[David:] I tend to think it's easier to play at the side, because you can actually do that if you want.
[Chris:] Yes
[David:] You can, you know I can I can get two balls to almost roll from corner to corner by doing
[Chris:] Yes yes yes
[David:] So try it like that and swing your mallet too so you won't be able to go above hoop three and
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] Right.
[Chris:] Okay.
[David:] You've got to stand forward a little bit more, haven't you? You've got to play down on to the ball.
[Chris:] Right. Right.
[David:] So bring your feet forward a little
[Chris:] You mean further forward. Right.
[David:] Lovely. Yes lovely. Very good. Now that's pretty well perfect, isn't it?
[Chris:] Smashing yes. Yes. That's good. Yes. Yes.
[David:] You can still cut back over to the to about there.
[Chris:] No no I wanting to get...
[David:] You want to hit croquet plan?
[Chris:] Yes. To to get to there.
[David:] You can then do a nice little shot to get closer on the hoop with red
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] Put black over there somewhere.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] Put your mallet on the floor.
[Chris:] Right yes yes good point... yeah just right.
[David:] Right that's a nice approach should be able to get the red somewhere
[Chris:] Yes
[David:] there it is a little roll shot.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] If you do you're gonna play it by
[Chris:] Do you prefer this would you?
[David:] Well I think you should do what you feel comfortable at most most you you... there again if you saw Vincent playing, he just plays it standing up. Well yes pretty good
[Chris:] Is it?
[David:] except you've got a slight problem, haven't you? Cos you can't really get that red through without crushing it.
[Chris:] Ah ah I really didn't understand the crushing bit, sorry.
[David:] Well, if I do that, that's a crush cos my mallet's in contact whilst the ball's in contact with the hoop.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] I'm crushing the ball against the hoop. Your problem is that you because the line of that ball is overhanging the wire
[Chris:] Yes
[David:] even if you played it like that it's still a crush.
[Chris:] Yes Yes
[David:] mallet you're play really you've got no choice but to come back.
[Chris:] Right right.
[David:] I don't know. It's a very difficult one I think in a game that probably they'd just let you do that.
[Chris:] Aha
[David:] It did sound to me like a crush, because you've really got to play away from the mallet haven't you?
[Chris:] The the that's the the the correct procedure is it, to play away rather than a
[David:] I think most people would consider I mean if you can picture the course of the ball, it's gonna do that, isn't it?
[Chris:] Mm
[David:] Your mallet is going to be is gotta be in contact with the mallet the ball whilst the ball is in contact with the wire
[Chris:] Yes yes yes
[David:] you can't
[Chris:] No I didn't. No! I was just thinking should
[David:] Join up?
[Chris:] Should I be?...
[David:] Well I think you should join up because something's put in the middle but depends... in a game If I was playing against a level player you might just have a very hard crack together, but just to join up gently in the middle.
[Chris:] Right right fine.
[David:] If you miss, you're still playing
[Chris:] Yes I didn't show you this David. That's that's what it's about.
[David:] The Longman Treasury of Spoken English
[Chris:] And they're simply recording an awful lot of people in conversation.
[David:] Oh yes.
[Chris:] Erm and they will keep them in the archives and I suppose transcribe them or something of the sort.
[David:] Yes interesting.
[Chris:] Yes, yes it is rather intriguing. They just knocked at the door and said how would you care to take part?
[Evelyn:] just stroke.
[David:] [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Oh yes, and of course when you have it for two days you can't actually guard your language all the time [LAUGHTER]
[David:] I don't suppose they really want you to, do they?
[Chris:] No I'm certain they don't. That's the last thing they want.
[Evelyn:] Hardly ever. What never. Well hardly ever. I'm always criticizing on the B B C and I T V.
[David:] About the English?
[Chris:] Oh yes. There's certainly plenty to criticize there, isn't there?
[Evelyn:] I've got a bee in my bonnet about it.
[Chris:] Isn't it a good job we're perfect, eh? [LAUGHTER]
[Evelyn:] And there's the controversy, which I don't approve of controversy and they rather roll their tongues around and in and out of words and... [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Don't you think that's one of the beauties of English though?
[David:] The problem is slightly in that
[Evelyn:] Formidable isn't she. Formidable.
[Chris:] Yes formidable I agree.
[David:] But word word pronunciations gets changed just by common usage don't they?
[Chris:] Yes they do. They do indeed. Yes. [LAUGHTER]
[Evelyn:] Peculiar day for the first of June, isn't it?
[David:] It's National Croquet Day did you remember that?
[Evelyn:] National Croquet Day?
[David:] Mmm.
[Evelyn:] Is it?
[David:] Yes.
[Evelyn:] Who told you that?
[David:] Er I think I learnt that when I went to the meeting of the South East Croquet Federation earlier in the year.
[Evelyn:] Oh yes, when I was
[Chris:] Yes you said David that in fact it was arranged a little late and some clubs didn't manage to fit it into their programme.
[David:] Well no.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] We we had an open day last Sunday, or Sunday before, I forget.
[Chris:] Yes yes fair enough but
[David:] We could have held it today if we thought
[Chris:] Right.
[Evelyn:] When was it held?
[David:] The open day? You you
[Evelyn:] No I don't mean how
[David:] Oh no. Do you mean the...
[Evelyn:] You said you went on the ticket...
[David:] Oh South East Croquet Federation Committee Meeting. Yes. That was in Steven's house I think that was The other one Caterham the other one
[Evelyn:] Was that the A G M or
[David:] Er... no that was A G M. Where David used to live
[Evelyn:] Oh really?
[David:] who founded the South East Croquet Federation. Yes he moved to France.
[Chris:] Is that David the designer?
[David:] No.
[Chris:] No.
[David:] Northern France. But I can't remember the name of the Oh yes. He still is involved with croquet because you see he organizes this week at erm later in the year.
[Evelyn:] Oh yes
[David:] Yes, that's right yes.
[Evelyn:] ... navigation.
[David:] Who?
[Evelyn:] My daughter.
[David:] Oh is she?
[Evelyn:] Oh yes. I'm going down in about a month's time.
[Bill:] Italian coast....
[David:] Yes.
[Evelyn:] ... David not as far as St Tropez where
[David:] Horrible aren't they those oil slicks they're dreadful. Have you always lived in this area, Evelyn?
[Evelyn:] Yes,... home town....
[David:] Sorry which is your home town?
[Evelyn:] Bournemouth.
[David:] Oh lovely yes I like Bournemouth
[Evelyn:] ... thank you so much very kind of you.
[David:] Pleasure.
[Evelyn:] Thanks awfully.
[Chris:] Nice to meet you Evelyn.
[Evelyn:] ... Thank you very much.
[Chris:] Ah. Well you may see me again you never know [LAUGHTER] I shall look forward to it. Cheerio.
[David:] Funny old thing.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Not a clue I don't think...
[Chris:] Really?
[David:] Ah [LAUGHTER] what she gets out of it I just don't know. Companionship I suppose.
[Chris:] Yes yes.
[David:] Shame. Oh well I suppose it's something isn't it? If she gets that out of it.
[Chris:] Yes yes and it's fresh air gentle exercise, isn't it?
[David:] Yes yes and it means she does get out and does see other people.
[Chris:] Yes yes indeed. Does she tend to walk down when she goes? Oh does she?
[David:] She did drive until last year but I would imagine that she's probably no longer safe driving.
[Chris:] Sure
[David:] She's had two or three accidents in. She's a goodly age, you know.
[Chris:] Yes. Well I really enjoyed that David.
[David:] Did you? Good!
[Chris:] Yes, yes. It's a...
[David:] Do you want to come again? think about it
[Chris:] Yes yes.
[David:] You'll need come a good few times and give it three four six months.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] I think the books recommend really most players eighteen months to two years before you can come.
[Chris:] Before you can call yourself a player?
[David:] Well before you can start setting up a break.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] I mean that does vary enormously.... When you come down from twenty to eight or nine in a season, you know
[Chris:] Golly!
[David:] I know. I mean he plays a lot of croquet. He only works three days a week anyway because of lot of tournaments
[Chris:] Yes yes
[David:] I mean he started at roughly about the same time as me. I think he's about five and a half five something like that.
[Chris:] My goodness! Yes.
[David:] He's probably even less. He's an amazing player to watch, bordering on breaking down all the time.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER]
[David:] Some of the shots he pulls off are fantastic.
[Chris:] Really? Yes.
[David:] Rather excitable that's the only problem.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Comes from Barnsley.
[Chris:] Oh yes. What is his name?
[David:] Edward.
[Chris:] Ah yes. So how do you think the Eden Park problem is going to be resolved?
[David:] What we really need to do is to find some land to play on. I've almost given up on the London Borough of Bromley because the land, the areas that they've offered us have been quite impractical and although we've got, you know, croquet is a cheap sport. No clubs have very much money. I mean we've got something like five or six hundred pounds
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] sitting doing nothing.
[Chris:] But that doesn't go very far, does it?
[David:] No. No it doesn't. I did go to Park Manor. I might go back there again.
[Chris:] That a good idea.
[David:] Because they've got the land, but I just didn't get on. What about the Bromley Cricket Club, Tennis Club, Hockey Club complex?
[Chris:] I honestly don't know David. I genuinely do not know.
[David:] I really feel in a borough as big as Bromley, which is the biggest
[Chris:] Yes
[David:] they must have somewhere where we can play, but erm perhaps I ought to... trouble is that you get fobbed off you know. The Mayor, Mayoress said to me well we'll find you something but
[Chris:] Yes
[David:] So you you bandy her name about. People jump about for a bit but then having offered you
[Chris:] Yes yep. They've done what they feel they should be doing
[David:] They say well we've offered you three blocks and you've turned them all down and you say well yes but you've offered us blocks not not
[Chris:] Not suitable for the purpose. Yes yes
[David:] It's not just the erm the fact the area round you need it's also the location that's involved
[Chris:] Yes indeed.
[David:] That was part of the problem. We could have gone back to the where we started and then we only paid a couple of hundred pounds a year for the land that they used to keep the grass cut and everything but the problem was really the area. We'd never have been able to build a club up.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] And we we really decided that we would be much better not having all the hassle and just all joining or joining another club.
[Chris:] Yes quite quite.
[David:] It's much easier just belonging to a club and not having
[Chris:] Yes absolutely yes absolutely.
[David:] Go there when you want and play and...
[Chris:] It was very nice being there this afternoon and being able to walk straight on to the lawn.
[David:] Yes yes well I think you will find that with most croquet clubs
[Chris:] Really yes yes
[David:] I think perhaps the top clubs like I don't I've never been there. They are supposed to have the best lawns in the country.
[Chris:] Are they? Yes
[David:] Very good membership. They spend a lot of money.
[Bill:] In terms of lawns it's the biggest club in the world.
[Chris:] Is it? Yes.
[David:] They've got twelve thirteen lawns there.
[Chris:] Gosh!
[David:] They haven't got the membership.
[Chris:] Shame.
[David:] And of course the upkeep these days is quite high.
[Chris:] Yes indeed. There's a sort of general Dulwich Sports Club ground keeping facility I assume
[David:] Yes.
[Chris:] for that ground? Yes.
[David:] I think that perhaps, that croquet is a poor relation, but erm to the club itself, I don't know. But I would have thought probably the squash or the bowls strictly probably generate more money
[Chris:] And the ground is more intensively used perhaps for that?
[David:] Well that's yes. I think that that that perhaps again one of the problems with croquet. It uses up quite an area doesn't it for er mm
[Chris:] Well is it any more than a tennis court?
[David:] Well I suppose a game of tennis doesn't last as long
[Chris:] No it doesn't. You can get several games in
[David:] It is possibly no worse than the cricket...
[Chris:] Sure.
[David:] area because they have twenty two players, haven't they?
[Chris:] Yes
[David:] Though they are only eleven twelve or thirteen on at any one time.
[Chris:] Yes. Yes I mean if it is possible to provide that huge acreage I mean the space per player or whatever is [LAUGHTER] rather less for croquet than for cricket, isn't it?
[David:] Yes, except you need a more perfect lawn that's more perfect area
[Chris:] Well there are there are green keepers aren't there? I know a guy who bowls at the Bromley Bowling Club in exactly and he told me that they have professional green keepers who look after lots of different greens and they come into them once a week or whatever.
[David:] Do they? Well that's interesting because we were wondering who we could get to have a look at our lawns and tell what's wrong with it because they are not very good are they?
[Chris:] No no that one we were playing on certainly wasn't the greenest and grassiest
[David:] It's a problem. You will find with a lot of croquet lawns
[Chris:] Is it? Yes yes.
[David:] Well you know somewhere like Bromley Bowling Club would have a very good membership. So there's a lot of money coming in they could they could afford to have somebody like that
[Chris:] Absolutely.
[David:] looking after their lawns.
[Chris:] Absolutely yes.
[David:] And London Borough of Bromley have got a spare bowling green in... I forget the name of the road but it's in the Beckenham area which unless they're doing work to any of the main bowling greens just lies fallow through the summer.
[Chris:] Right.
[David:] They obviously keep it cut and keep it up to scratch.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] But they were willing to let us play on it because croquet wouldn't have done any real harm. The money they wanted for us to use it even just a weekend was absolutely ridiculous which to me seems in opposition to the whole idea of the borough.
[Chris:] Quite.
[David:] The borough's providing spaces for people to enjoy themselves.
[Chris:] Yes exactly, exactly.
[David:] But the problem being now of course that I think in line with most London boroughs there is club which tennis club which has tennis courts on Local Authority land. They actually enter into a lease or tennis agreement with the London Borough...
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] for a period of five or ten years and lease it off them and then have to maintain it. And of course if you want to use somewhere like the bowling green for bowls or croquet then you've got to pay the going rate.
[Chris:] Yes indeed yes.
[David:] But I did feel that perhaps they could have bent the rules a little.
[Chris:] Yes and there are different going rates for different things as there are with property, aren't there?
[David:] I would have thought so. But I suppose as a bowling green then you... but he said that we've already cut the... stick their neck out will they?
[Chris:] No no no no no. They are far too liable to have it chopped off. Or they think they are. Yes.
[David:] I must admit that I got fed up with pursuing it and I think it's like banging your head against a brick wall in the end.
[Chris:] Yes.
[David:] Didn't really have the energy to pursue it.
[Chris:] Yeah. No I don't blame you. If it did say locate to the Bickley area or something like that would you change the name?
[David:] Probably. If they did locate then I could get quite a good membership
[Chris:] Yes. Oh yes.
[David:] ith croquet you know where the croquet players are and where they live.
[Chris:] Yes. Yes.
[David:] And even in quite a wide area... not perhaps the garden croquet players you wouldn't know about the people who play in the back garden but you know the people who play in tournaments. Or people who belong to other clubs.
[Chris:] Yes indeed. Yes... Yes.
[David:] It's odd I suppose because I mean I could be much happier to play a lot more if there was a subscription towards croquet. It didn't particularly bother me.
[Chris:] Aha.
[David:] I would think one gets a lot out membership
[Chris:] Yes yes.
[Norrine:] This is the dress I'm thinking of taking from erm Marks. Do you think it suits me?
[Chris:] Is it possible to wear it with a belt? Or...
[Norrine:] There isn't belt
[Susan:] How
[Chris:] Are you having second thoughts about having it, dear?
[Norrine:] I'm not so hundred percent certain it's not one of those things that I think...
[Chris:] Right. Well I what I think Suzannah and I are both genuinely in favour.
[Norrine:] Definitely that's what I want.
[Chris:] No. I think Suzannah and I are genuinely in favour.
[Susan:] What would you wear as an exit?
[Norrine:] Does it need to be a high neck sort of thing?
[Chris:] Well not necessarily it could have some loopy beads or something couldn't you?
[Norrine:] What colour?
[Chris:] Brown blue yellow red.
[Norrine:] Any of those colours
[Susan:] Colour coordination himself.
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] and a boop boop boop boop to you too. What what jewellery colours can mum wear with that?
[Norrine:] But I like to wear a little jewellery.
[Chris:] Yes and the children like to see it. I mean a little elephant brooch or something. Have you still got that other elephant belt that tan one?
[Norrine:] Cream one, you mean?
[Chris:] Cream one, yes. Happy with it all? I don't know but to be truthful I am not hundred percent sold on any of it.
[Lynda:] Oh I'm sorry about that. Because I like them all. That's correct.
[Chris:] May I look at that please? With the pads in I feel square on the top. If I could take them out.
[Lynda:] Just a moment, may I? They don't look harsh.
[Chris:] To me they are too wide.
[Lynda:] Alright to me they don't look harsh. You know they don't sort of poke up in the air like shoulders sometimes do.
[Chris:] Was it exciting in the shop today? I had a chip incidentally fallen off your plate. They're rather good weren't they?
[Susan:] Yeah they were nice.
[Chris:] Mm... What you going to do with Sam tonight? What do you expect to happen in the Tigers tonight?
[Susan:] Nothing.
[Chris:] Ah! What you and Sam thought you were going to be doing.
[Susan:] Some of his friends coming as well.
[Chris:] Are they?
[Susan:] Supposed to have a chat you know.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Susan:] I haven't seen any of them for ages. I haven't even seen Bret since I was a bit drunk
[Chris:] Well don't get too drunk tonight please.
[Susan:] All right
[Chris:] Whose eighteenth birthday is this? Debbie's? So you still haven't sent the invitations out eh?
[Susan:] don't worry about it.
[Chris:] Take them with you, won't you?
[Susan:] Yes.
[Chris:] [cough] Has Mum told you that we're going out for a Chinese?
[Susan:] Mmm. To 's.
[Chris:] Fancy coming?
[Susan:] Bring me back some prawn balls.
[Chris:] You don't get prawn balls in 's my dear
[Susan:] What?
[Chris:] You do not get prawn balls in 's. You get much superior... Good heavens!
[Susan:] I thought it was prawn
[Chris:] What's that? Who? Good. Right we shall be off very shortly.
[Susan:] Alright.
[Norrine:] Sorry darling
[Chris:] Its all right
[Norrine:] ... she's been trying to get something for the mother of the bride.
[Chris:] What a gift?
[Norrine:] No
[Chris:] Oh! I see yes yes and she is the mother of the bride. [LAUGHTER] I take your point. Your blue one.
[Susan:] My blue one? No I won't wear my blue one, it's Dad your colour combination is amazing.
[Chris:] Thank you I appreciate that.
[Susan:] It's alright. We don't mind if you can't match your colours properly, but you
[Norrine:] When does this finish?
[Chris:] Tonight. I might carry on a bit tomorrow. Depending on how many few tapes whatever I've done.
[Norrine:] How many...
[Chris:] I don't think they've said that. They've given me twenty or twenty four twenty tapes. I've done just over fifty percent of them so far. No. I've done about fifty percent I think. I've just put in tape ten so we're nearly half way there. There's no obligation to fill all the tapes.
[Norrine:] No and anyway it depends where you are... dinner party talking to you. It will be difficult...
[Chris:] Yes. It's very strange approaching Petswood from this side isn't it? You either turn left to go to one side of Petswood or right to go to the other side of Petswood. It's a... the railway provides quite a split. It's a full car in front. Mmm. Teenagers probably. Looking awfully big being rather young.
[Norrine:] Nice green view.
[Chris:] Good.
[Norrine:] I asked Suzannah what prompted her to go up to town tonight. But she hasn't gone up there for ages. She's very low. She was going to Spain for a holiday she and her friend Tracy
[Chris:] Erm
[Norrine:] and Tracy has cried off.
[Chris:] Oh dear!
[Norrine:] So she's had summer holiday plans fallen through. She's feeling a bit
[Chris:] David is looking for somewhere to put his croquet club.
[Norrine:] What do you mean by that?
[Chris:] Well he's got a croquet club without a ground.
[Norrine:] Oh you mean a club? A number of people not a club stick? It's not called like a golf club that you hit the ball with?
[Chris:] Ah! Correct. He's looking for ground land.
[Norrine:] Not looking much of a hurry
[Chris:] What's that thing out there hydrants or something?
[Norrine:] On which to play croquet?
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] He occasionally he gets by the club. Uncomfortable next to the Tigers.
[Chris:] [yawn] Excuse me.
[Norrine:] Erm. Yes he was he is the Secretary of Eden Park Croquet Club which was an offshoot of Eden Park Cricket Club.
[Chris:] Where is Eden Park?
[Norrine:] It's between Beckenham and Croydon. And
[Chris:] They don't have anywhere to play?
[Norrine:] at the moment they don't have anywhere to play.
[Chris:] What do you need for a croquet club?
[Norrine:] Well you need ideally some space for about four or five tennis courts to run
[Chris:] Quite a lot
[Norrine:] Well that would run you three lawns...
[Chris:] How big is a lawn?
[Norrine:] which would be ideal.
[Chris:] As big as a tennis court?
[Norrine:] I believe it's twenty four by sixteen ideally.
[Chris:] Is that bigger than a tennis court?
[Norrine:] It's about the size of a double tennis court apparently.
[Chris:] Double tennis court?
[Norrine:] Mhm.
[Chris:] Gosh!
[Norrine:] With the surrounds.
[Chris:] Presumably you can't use it for anything else because it needs to be very smooth and perfect. Is there cold air blowing in this car?
[Norrine:] It's hot air blowing in.
[Chris:] I know any air but something's blowing. You can erm... you can't use it for anything else but croquet?
[Norrine:] No. But then it's not a very big area. You know as you can't use a tennis court for anything else or bowling green for anything else.
[Chris:] No. But it does sound quite a big area to me if you haven't got the land in the first place. It would mean somebody's got to give up something.
[Norrine:] You could fit it on a bowling green.
[Chris:] But then who wants to give up a bowling green?
[Norrine:] Well I'm talking of space. The area you need.
[Chris:] You've got the area. That's fine but you haven't got any land at all.
[Norrine:] Mm.
[Chris:] It's quite a lot of land to find.
[Norrine:] Absolutely true.
[Chris:] It's not like somebody's back garden.
[Norrine:] Yep.
[Chris:] So where were they playing today?
[Norrine:] They went to Dulwich.
[Chris:] Is there a croquet club there?
[Norrine:] Yes. Burbidge Road. Which is where Carlos used to live.
[Chris:] How many croquet clubs are there around here?
[Norrine:] Very few. Sydenham is possible. ran an evening class affair.
[Chris:] Not one in Bromley?
[Norrine:] No. There's nothing in Bromley. Apparently the Mayor last year or the Mayoress er was rather keen and organized a match between the Dulwich Club and her team nominally which turned out to be made up of masters from Dulwich College [LAUGHTER]. Well apparently they have a lawn and they play it.
[Chris:] Well yes people who play.
[Norrine:] Oh you need people who know the game anyway. Then
[Chris:] Oh no. You need to know how to play.
[Norrine:] Oh indeed you do. Mighty complicated it is too.
[Chris:] Well I was reading that article in the Sunday Times with you and the chap who's the champion said he liked it because it's like chess and bridge.
[Norrine:] Mm. Mm.
[Chris:] A game of strategy.
[Norrine:] Or I mean David was saying you can do this you can do that you can do the other you can do this. I I my mind was absolutely blown by the end. It it was almost impossible to erm...
[Chris:] If you were...
[Norrine:] latch on to everything.
[Chris:] starting out out. Doing it from scratch. If somebody was used to teaching croquet they wouldn't tell you everything all at once. And you can gradually build up.
[Norrine:] Well he was coaching me and he was very good.
[Chris:] Oh good.
[Norrine:] Very good. I can understand why he has been invited to coach. Very good. In Petts Wood I found a little space like that to park in. There was a great queue behind and I went in absolutely perfectly. Right into the space and I was pleased with myself. You know how
[Chris:] Good.
[Norrine:] ...
[Chris:] I know. I haven't done it easily but I've done it and I'm pleased.
[Norrine:] I'm not clever as you like you are.
[Chris:] Well done!
[Norrine:] I wasn't
[Chris:] [LAUGHTER] Yes you have to do that I believe these days too. I can't read Chinese
[Norrine:] [LAUGHTER] I don't think it said Chinese on there dear.
[Lynda:] Good evening sir.
[Norrine:] Good evening ma'am.
[Lynda:] For two.
[Norrine:] Yes, I rang on the telephone yesterday.
[Lynda:] Your name sir? You booked for two, yes?
[Norrine:] I booked indeed yes.
[Lynda:] How about this one? Will be okay?
[Norrine:] Thank you. The one over here?
[Lynda:] Are you going to sit here?
[Norrine:] If this is the one you meant.
[Lynda:] This one, or this one I think this one is nice.
[Norrine:] This is fine. Yes this is just fine. Thank you very much indeed yes.
[Lynda:] Alright?
[Norrine:] Yes thank you.
[Chris:] What do you fancy drinking?
[Norrine:] I'm for a lager I think a lager
[Chris:] Yes yes I agree. I prefer it.
[Norrine:] Lemon chicken...
[Chris:] Lemon chicken stuffed mushrooms. Singapore noodles we enjoyed. Yes I'm sure they were Singapore noodles.
[Norrine:] We'll have noodles not rice certainly. Where are these stuffed mushrooms? I can't see them.
[Chris:] Can't remember what they were stuffed with can you? And bean bean sprouts we had too.
[Norrine:] and stuffed mushrooms
[Chris:] Oh yes.
[Norrine:] Don't let's have bean sprouts.
[Chris:] Alright we won't have bean sprouts. How about we have Chinese mushrooms with bamboo shoots? Seasonal Chinese vegetable with prawns. How about that?
[Norrine:] prawns with stuffed mushrooms. Would you like something first?
[Chris:] Not first but what will... you'll have a lager?
[Norrine:] I'll have a lager.
[Chris:] May we have two lagers please? So we shall have lemon chicken, stuffed mushrooms, we had something else didn't we last time?
[Norrine:] We may have had bean sprouts with noodles.
[Chris:] We had bean sprouts last time yes.
[Norrine:] Yes but I don't like bean sprouts.
[Chris:] Right. But you enjoyed the noodles.
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] But there was something else that we had.
[Norrine:] What we had something more than just the bean sprouts?
[Chris:] We had we certainly had lemon chicken stuffed mushrooms,
[Norrine:] And noodles.
[Chris:] and noodles.
[Norrine:] We had something like bean sprouts last time...
[Chris:] Yes I think we did but we also had something else. Yes we did. What would you like to have start with?
[Norrine:] What do you want?
[Chris:] Wan Ton soup.
[Norrine:] What with vegetables, I suppose....
[Chris:] Oh we won't have either of them then. Have some Wan Ton soup.
[Norrine:] What is Wan Ton soup?
[Chris:] All sorts of bits in it.
[Norrine:] What do you mean by that?
[Chris:] Or do you fancy I can't remember. It's a long long time since I had it. We'd have mixed appetites if you'd given it any thought. How about having...
[Norrine:] Are we thinking about how romantic
[Chris:] Or why not a Dim Sum? Which is a classic Chinese.
[Norrine:] But we've never had that here.
[Chris:] You had that let's start with Dim Sum. Now over here we are short of one
[Norrine:] Or have some vegetables.
[Chris:] Alright. Alright. No. I was thinking of the seasons Chinese vegetables were born.
[Norrine:] They were not born in the mushrooms.
[Chris:] Mushrooms right.
[Norrine:] Right. We weren't going to put mushrooms with prawns.
[Chris:] Yes we are. I think we are. We'll both have Dim Sum, lemon chicken erm Chinese vegetables with prawns. Stuffed mushrooms. And some noodles.
[Lynda:] Special noodles?
[Chris:] Singapore noodles. What is the difference between Singapore noodles and special noodles?
[Lynda:] Singapore noodles have hot spices. But the others...
[Chris:] Is not? Special noodles are not so spicy?
[Lynda:] No.
[Chris:] We'll have special noodles.
[Norrine:] I see this restaurant allows smoking.
[Chris:] What sorry?
[Norrine:] This restaurant allows smoking.
[Chris:] Restaurants local restaurants can't afford not to dear. I think if you're talking about a very exclusive one up in town they might well say no smoking. Oh we have to share a finger bowl. isn't it? Golly it'd be interesting to know what they'd make of this tape for the next couple of hours. Yes indeed.
[Norrine:] Was it at work
[Chris:] Where it works?
[Norrine:] David find it being there?
[Chris:] No. No he said he forgot about it quite quickly.
[Norrine:] Are you going to play it back or listen to it?
[Chris:] I beg your pardon?
[Norrine:] Are you going to play it back or listen to it?
[Chris:] Which one?
[Norrine:] The tapes.
[Chris:] All of them? I haven't got a player for two full days in which to do it. No.... I must tape number ten no it takes an hour and a half on tape number ten. That's fifteen hours.
[Norrine:] Play it at work.
[Chris:] Well you can if you'd like to but I'm not going to.
[Norrine:] I remember...
[Chris:] Thank you. May we have the bill? They're busy little bees in here
[Norrine:] The restaurant's nice.
[Chris:] It is indeed. When you've had a day in the open air you have a sort of
[Norrine:] Glow.
[Chris:] glow....
[Norrine:] it really was chilly by the time I
[Chris:] Well I mean you can relax on that score because you had a very good half hour run with me. She wasn't in frantic form but she was zipping hither and dither.
[Norrine:] She insisted on coming
[Chris:] Galloped around the outside. I was absolutely steaming by the time I got back to the car.
[Norrine:] It was very hot. And the very erm she was very anxious to come with me when I went out into the park. To get me into the car so I let her come.
[Chris:] Good. To get the what? Oh yes.
[Norrine:] And she had to come in the car while I
[Chris:] There's a take away here. a bag for somebody.
[Norrine:] A doggy bag.
[Chris:] No. A great big carrier bag you can't see it it's just outside.
[Norrine:] It all seems rather a shame really you know to do a take away. I mean that rather a nice Chinese restaurant in the high street does take away.
[Chris:] We had one last week.
[Norrine:] but if you're going to pay a lot of money for your take away
[Chris:] I wonder if they charge the same prices for their take away as for sitting at the table.
[Norrine:] I think they really must. My mother
[Chris:] I know I know in the past I have er ten percent or something. But I may be going back far too long for the evening.
[Norrine:] Well you'd think they could because you are not paying for the service are you?
[Chris:] That's right. Yes I think I could become really absorbed in croquet. I don't know if I'd become good at it but I think
[Norrine:] Why not?
[Chris:] but I think it'd be a game that one could become absorbed in. It's not physically demanding other than in stamina concentration terms. It's hardly physically demanding is it? And the course that David went on before he was asked to coach on it was for advanced people anyway. And he said ah er I misunderstood this and er and I said well you know when is it? Who knows may be I could baah aah aah. And he said, er er. Just possible that you standard because he obviously seemed to think that I was that I had some great possible qualities but
[Norrine:] But?
[Chris:] Well I would I, he would say you know you know you don't croquet that and it's a short bom bom and it's
[Norrine:] It's the first time you've done it.
[Chris:] Oh! what does he mean by that? And so on and so forth.
[Norrine:] But he must be quite good unusual to start by playing a whole game?
[Chris:] Well I mean he showed me how er er he showed me how the mallet is operated. There's no standard grip you
[Lynda:] Alright?
[Norrine:] I have mine.
[Lynda:] Thank you.
[Chris:] I notice that you do takeaways here?
[Lynda:] Yes we do.
[Chris:] Do you charge the same prices as in the restaurant?
[Lynda:] Oh no. It's cheaper than the restaurant. Yes yes
[Chris:] Ah! I'm I'm pleased to hear that. That's interesting we were
[Lynda:] One moment. I give you our menu you know.
[Chris:] Yes thank you. I would be interested.
[Lynda:] except V A T.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] You can charge more...
[Chris:] Well they're not receiving [gasp] excuse me the service and the pleasure of the table and the atmosphere.
[Lynda:] You see when you want to get home I charge more. The people why they want here they can have cheaper right here.
[Chris:] Yes. Yes. Yes.
[Lynda:] I give you one menu, okay?
[Chris:] Thank you. [LAUGHTER] And it always smells good here doesn't it? It always smells super. [cough] Who is the tall thin chap sitting next to Diane?
[Norrine:] I don't know darling. Probably their family or something I don't know. Do you remember being here with?
[Chris:] Yes I do. We sat there.
[Norrine:] Ham and Eve
[Chris:] Ham and Eve! And they enjoyed it didn't they?
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] Unfortunately you chose the ginger beetle, the toffee beetle or something of the sort it had a gingery look to it.
[Norrine:] ...
[Chris:] Oh is that what it's called? Yes.
[Norrine:] It was very feathery. Not gingery feathery. Did you notice in the front of the back so you must remember to take back. Somebody has started a boat on the river. The article on the front page.
[Chris:] I haven't seen it no.
[Norrine:] The cook from the Spread Eagle.
[Chris:] Oh yeah.
[Norrine:] Chef who is no longer there?
[Chris:] Chefette yes?
[Norrine:] He has acquired a boat. or somewhere.
[Chris:] Yes. Yes. Yes. Which he uses for parties rather than as a restaurant.
[Norrine:] And you can hire it out.
[Chris:] Somebody had a super birthday party for their husband.
[Norrine:] And the cheapest menu was thirteen pounds.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Based on O'Hagen sausage.
[Chris:] Yes. Yes. Yes I thought that was rather good.
[Norrine:] Sounded rather fun.
[Chris:] Yes it did.
[Norrine:] Quite pricey actually
[Chris:] Yes well it was pricey. But then you're paying for the use of the boat as well aren't you?
[Norrine:] Yes but then when I came here with you. The meal was thirteen pounds ten
[Chris:] Right.
[Norrine:] plus the wine.
[Chris:] But that was, a year ago two years ago.
[Norrine:] A year and half ago anyway. Nearly two years ago. Erm she said six months ahead.
[Chris:] Oh really?
[Norrine:] She said when you came and I rang to confirm it all she said you're very lucky because he agreed thirteen pounds and we don't do it for under fifteen pounds now.
[Chris:] Really?
[Norrine:] And I said oh dear! I hope you're not going to be feeling mean about it you know because
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] because they weren't, were they?
[Chris:] No. No. No they were not. They were not they were honest. They were honest and straightforward and jolly good stuff.
[Norrine:] It was really thanks to Linda and Graham because I never would have done it otherwise.
[Chris:] No. You learn about these things in different ways don't you? it's all very
[Norrine:] I think Linda and Graham were the only people there who had been before have any other common
[Chris:] Quite probably. The only local people in Essex probably. Is that our Dim Sum. Goody goody. Yes please. Thank you. Thank you.
[Norrine:] What's inside that? Little dumplings.
[Chris:] Little dumplings such as you've never come across other than in a Chinese Restaurant. Her birthday's the fourteenth. Do you know which day of the week that is?
[Norrine:] I know the first is a Monday.
[Chris:] So the fifteenth will be a Monday. So the fourteenth will be a Sunday.
[Norrine:] How long have you been working on that?
[Chris:] Saturday. She finishes in August did you say? Right. Thank you. Thank you. When do you finish school?
[Norrine:] Twelfth is my last day of.
[Chris:] Good.
[Norrine:] Thank you. Very tasty.
[Chris:] Can't, fifteenth is a Monday. The Wednesday the tenth.
[Norrine:] ... Erm this is the first of the month...
[Chris:] My birthday's on Monday obviously at this rate. There's a one eight fifteen on Mondays which means that Wednesday the ten
[Norrine:] I must finish on the tenth
[Chris:] Wednesday.
[Norrine:] Wednesday. I should need to go in on the eleventh to clear up I expect.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] But I could just about fit in going. I mean I should be finished in time for that weekend.
[Chris:] Yes good. We can go down and come back specifically on the Monday.
[Norrine:] No no. There's only Snoopy but she'd have finished college by then.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Only if she gets her thing and finishes. That Monday will be okay. For presentations
[Chris:] That's the Monday before you finish? Will you be under huge pressures or will you be winding down a bit by then?
[Norrine:] Well hopefully I'll be winding down.
[Chris:] You'll probably be rehearsing a part for a silly end of year staff entertainment or something.
[Norrine:] I haven't heard anything about that. I don't think we do that in the summer term.
[Chris:] Oh really. That's what you had in mind wasn't it?
[Norrine:] No that's what you suggested.
[Chris:] Or what had you in mind?
[Norrine:] Nothing
[Chris:] No.
[Norrine:] Certainly don't want your pretty rotten...
[Chris:] Mm. Sure.
[Norrine:] ...
[Chris:] Mm. Can you smell that? Whatever it is. Wonderful!
[Norrine:] Slightly slightly burned.
[Chris:] Yes but caramelly burned, isn't it? Quality burned. Do you think Christine and Colin would enjoy a meal here?
[Norrine:] Sure.
[Chris:] stuffed mushrooms.
[Norrine:] Lovely. Thank you.
[Chris:] Splendid.
[Norrine:] It's probably what smelled.
[Chris:] Sizzling and sizzling. Yes. Wonderful.
[Norrine:] When he comes from erm...
[Chris:] Yes?
[Norrine:] I'd like a glass of water.
[Chris:] Good.
[Norrine:] There's no hurry.
[Chris:] Madam! Madam! May we have two glasses of water please? Thank you.
[Norrine:] Thank you.
[Chris:] Is that the mixed vegetables and stuff?
[Lynda:] special noodles or Chinese vegetables.
[Norrine:] No we had mushrooms and noodles. Didn't we ask for mushrooms and noodles before?
[Chris:] Can't remember. Doesn't look like that to me. dreadful.
[Norrine:] Well we didn't ask for that. mushrooms and. Oh no you said mixed Chinese vegetables in beef I don't know
[Chris:] Oh I'm sorry I've got beef.
[Norrine:] anyway.
[Chris:] Tell me what we've got here will you?
[Lynda:] Okay yes sir. Stuffed mushrooms.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Lynda:] Special noodles.
[Norrine:] Ah!
[Lynda:] Special noodles.
[Norrine:] Special noodles. Yes
[Lynda:] Lemon chicken and
[Norrine:] Lovely! Thank you.
[Chris:] Thank you.
[Norrine:] We didn't recognise that. It's very special. Very special.
[Lynda:] It not noodles.
[Norrine:] Thank you very much.
[Chris:] Thank you. Right. Careful the spoons on the plates are hot. More sauce?
[Norrine:] Very special. Prawns in it and all sorts.
[Chris:] I don't think it is the same ones we had the last time. I think we probably did have Singapore noodles last time. Super! Thank you.
[Norrine:] your noodles.
[Chris:] I think for the moment I'll just enjoy these two dishes if that's okay. Mm.
[Norrine:] I'm glad you don't use chopsticks either.
[Chris:] I don't suppose we'll need to, fiddle around dear.
[Norrine:] So difficult to pick up.
[Chris:] Mm. Absolutely. We got here in the nick of time or we would have had the rotten table otherwise.
[Norrine:] Mm. It's a bit nearer nine now.
[Chris:] Mm. Where did those prawns come from? From that dish or from that dish? The noodle dish. Well. Well.
[Norrine:] Special noodles have everything.
[Chris:] Yes lovely.
[Norrine:] You didn't get in any of vegetables.
[Chris:] No. Well they're very similar looking dishes aren't they? Lovely crunchy vegetables aren't they? Super.
[Lynda:] Alright?
[Norrine:] Lovely. Thank you.
[Chris:] Thank you very much.
[Norrine:] Did you ever hear what the Palmer children girls had for for their twenty first birthday celebration?
[Chris:] Were they not the ones who had the fancy dress party the Victorian dress party at the hotel?
[Norrine:] It wasn't Victorian is was the twentieth
[Chris:] Right. Am I right though?
[Norrine:] Yes. That's right. I thought that was a lovely idea.
[Chris:] Yes. Absolutely super. I'm awfully sorry we weren't involved.
[Norrine:] We don't really know them well enough do we?
[Chris:] That's right.
[Norrine:] I can't say
[Chris:] Towering temples and things. Look at the beast they've got over there on that table. Do you see him? With his ears?
[Norrine:] Such a
[Chris:] Or something like that. No I don't think so. I think it's a dish you choose. Where's Snoopy getting the money from to go to the Tiger's Head tonight?
[Norrine:] credit cards in use. She can go where she likes. I only gave her fifteen. So I said I was tired of waiting for the money for my things and she can collect it from the students and have it when it came.
[Chris:] Well done. That was a fiver was it?
[Norrine:] ...
[Chris:] Yes. Presumably they've all got their films. So they should jolly well be stumping up.
[Norrine:] If she's not bothered to collect them
[Chris:] Yep yep suffer. Yep.
[Norrine:] No no don't push any more on me!
[Chris:] Sorry.
[Norrine:] Thank you.
[Chris:] Hang on hang on.
[Norrine:] It's alright. Move it up to the edge of your tray.
[Chris:] Oh bad luck.
[Norrine:] Do you want some more chicken?
[Chris:] Thank you. Yes. I was holding it in such an awkward way that fingers eventually protested. What did you get to put in the middle of the erm lobelia in that other pot?
[Norrine:] Erm geraniums and er petunias, busy lizzy.
[Lynda:] Okay?
[Chris:] Ya. Where did you get them in the end?
[Norrine:] All different places.
[Chris:] Oh right. Were they better value than previously or...
[Norrine:] Well...
[Chris:] similar or what?
[Norrine:] Thomsons' geraniums on the whole were very good value. One twenty five one ninety.
[Chris:] Goodness! Extraordinary!
[Norrine:] There were some cheaper geraniums around but they were the trailing kind. To have in hanging baskets. They're having it earlier this afternoon...
[Chris:] Oh yes.
[Norrine:] If your marriage is consummated before never consummated after the marriage service is that an annulment?
[Chris:] Oddly I would have thought....
[Norrine:] It's false.
[Chris:] Really?
[Norrine:] quickly. Because presumably what you do before the marriage, of marriage.
[Chris:] It wasn't mm. Yes. Well. Interesting idea. One side said yes the other side says no. Ha?
[Norrine:] That's what they said. Yeah.
[Chris:] I heard somewhere that John's living in now. He is a long way away.
[Norrine:] Who told you that?
[Chris:] I've no idea. Absolutely no idea. But he was a sailing man.
[Norrine:] I always might have known that.
[Chris:] Christine? I've no idea.
[Norrine:] ...
[Chris:] Probably not. Probably not.
[Norrine:] You did say in her that you heard from Sally I didn't get my usual Christmas letter. I told her Sally hadn't...
[Chris:] Good. Really there's nothing to stop me from giving Sally a ring is there this week end?
[Norrine:] Hopefully it's not terribly expensive.
[Chris:] Do you think the world will ever get get the balance right feeding the starving?
[Norrine:] No never. One apple and one banana, toffee apple if you've got no banana. One of each please
[Lynda:] Yes. Yes. You want coffee afterwards?
[Norrine:] Yes please.
[Lynda:] Two coffees
[Norrine:] Strange little creature. Well it's always been an awful lot worse than it is now.
[Chris:] Why is it
[Norrine:] No it is communication that tells us that it is so awful now. I don't think it's any worse now, it's just that we've written no about it.
[Chris:] Well, I don't know if that's true or not.
[Norrine:] But it's nonsense flying in food to Ethiopia Bangladesh and all the rest of it
[Chris:] Isn't it better to do nothing?
[Norrine:] Let them die.
[Chris:] Why why is that better?
[Norrine:] Because that is the way of the world, they're living in very very marginal areas that do not sustain life. You will never ever stop sending food to areas like that. They're areas that people should not be living.
[Chris:] Is that a bad thing? I mean if if presumably people go on being born there surely we should leave them. It doesn't really matter to human beings as long as they have nourishment. If you worked in this country and for some reason and were starving you wouldn't care if they fed you.
[Norrine:] The individual of course wants feeding needs feeding but should all resources of this area that area be rife to that particular point, every two to three years?
[Chris:] Well why should they not?
[Norrine:] Because that's what happened to Bangladesh.
[Chris:] Why should they not?
[Norrine:] Because they don't have any genuine effect. It happens over and over and over again. Nobody ever learns anything
[Chris:] Maybe we should be when your budget for all nations have plenty of food and plenty of resources should automatically make this sort of money and food available to nations without it. Maybe that's the answer.
[Norrine:] Maybe it is.
[Chris:] Maybe it should be an emergency aid... those that have given and those that have not. I mean if that's the only way that people were kept in reasonable health. the money comes from...
[Norrine:] I don't think we are talking about kept in reasonable health dear I think it is a question of living in an environment which does not genuinely support over any sensible period of time normal human life.
[Lynda:] Have you order?
[Norrine:] We have thank you yes.
[Lynda:] Have you order coffee as well?
[Norrine:] As well.
[Lynda:] Yes. You like coffee now or later?
[Norrine:] Later please.
[Lynda:] You want coffee now?
[Norrine:] No later later.
[Chris:] Yes they've always been like that and they always will be like that. They're the same, let them die. That's not normal. Because there'll just be more people. Otherwise they would have died out long ago.
[Norrine:] Well I mean may be there's there's there's an argument on teaching contraception measures.
[Chris:] I'm sure there is as well. That never the full answer because pushing people into that is one thing they should have.
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] I mean six to one is you know that....
[Norrine:] Sure.
[Chris:] People with no money and no home always seem to end up having children. Whereas if you and I didn't have a roof over our head
[Norrine:] Mm
[Chris:] I mean the last thing we'd think about is excluding children.
[Norrine:] But they do. Yes. How right you are.
[Chris:] It would be a good idea if you do teach them the ways of contraception available it's never going to stop people having babies. I mean in China they families and what have they got? They've not denied the situation at all have they?
[Norrine:] No. No.
[Chris:] Or families where they kill a child for being the wrong sex.
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] Only children growing up in the lap of luxury...
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] And mothers are supposed to sink all their hopes ambitions in the one child. Watching their education.
[Norrine:] Mm.
[Chris:] Strange thing they'll have two and three.
[Norrine:] They're a nation of super brats.
[Chris:] Whereas mothers at home aren't their usual selves because they've their children to look after. I mean but interesting but not the ideal answer. Does that mean that Anna has actually slept in that too?
[Norrine:] She had a good long night with no disturbance.
[Chris:] Good. I noticed on your card she called him Daniel David and then behold he's going to be just Daniel.
[Norrine:] Well David is his second name.
[Chris:] I know
[Norrine:] what his second name was.
[Chris:] Oh really.
[Norrine:] Lena is Lena Rachael.
[Chris:] Ha? Real Toffee isn't it?
[Norrine:] Mm.
[Chris:] By Gosh! Hot stuff.
[Norrine:] Presumably they're awfully
[Chris:] Yes. Hubbling bubbling oil.
[Norrine:] Whenever we come here we see somebody we know don't we?
[Chris:] Do we?
[Norrine:] Mm.
[Chris:] Who did we see the last time we were here?
[Norrine:] We saw Gill?
[Chris:] Did we? Who's she?
[Norrine:] She used to live in Close. Their younger daughter was the same age as Suzannah and went to and went to the same national school.
[Chris:] Oh really?
[Norrine:] Their elder daughter was in my guides. They went to Bromley High. Catherine was actually a year lower than Suzannah. They moved into Petts Wood into Birchwood Avenue. Then her husband left her.
[Chris:] Oh gosh!
[Norrine:] They were divorced. We saw her here. is still working in Sainsbury's.
[Chris:] Does she?
[Norrine:] Saturday job. She works in the bakery.
[Chris:] Oh. As opposed to an accountant. Where did she do her study or work or whatever?
[Norrine:] I think she did it in Orpington Tech. Aha. I bet Lynda's in for a lark for the next year. She's round the corner when Raymond. And then she'll come home some days and discover the place chockablock with students or three birds in bed with him or something. That's unlikely. I agree they are...
[Chris:] Sorry?
[Norrine:] school again already.
[Chris:] Erm
[Norrine:] Why did you go on a choir outing?
[Chris:] There are caves which seem to... We went into the caverns and erm saw the petrified caves where they, the water drip on objects and however many years they build up a stone coating.
[Norrine:] Do they have stalagmites?
[Chris:] And stalactites. What are they called where they meet in the middle? Columns I suppose or pillars. Don't know. I'd be intrigued to know what those other two couples who were not informed about the cancelled christening feels.
[Norrine:] Yes
[Chris:] Or not unless they join in wholeheartedly with the other lot.
[Norrine:] Perhaps they turned up outside, looked in and saw nobody they knew and went away again. I can ask Mary when I see
[Chris:] Mhm. Has it been said that they hope to repeat the experience or...?
[Norrine:] I think they're more concerned that the baby has an operation now.
[Chris:] What what is the situation there?
[Norrine:] Some time in June. I expect they are waiting to called.
[Lynda:] You like some more coffee?
[Chris:] Yes please.
[Norrine:] The young lady is talking as if she's a member of the family because she's paying so much over there. The boy sitting next to her
[Chris:] Saying little.
[Norrine:] ...
[Chris:] Oh really?
[Norrine:] Because he looks so like. They're celebrating
[Chris:] Is she John's daughter or the other guy's?
[Norrine:] I don't know for sure really. I think he must be because of sounds like it.
[Chris:] The mother the blond or the midway?
[Norrine:] I only saw Robin...
[Chris:] Did you?
[Norrine:] Mm. I er
[Chris:] Sorry?
[Norrine:] It's fine. He said his children are busy at school. Ella's about to do work experience. Residential primary school...
[Chris:] Sounds if the girl plans to become a teacher.
[Norrine:] work experience if you remember.
[Chris:] Didn't know what hit him did he?
[Norrine:] No I don't think he's planning to become a teacher.
[Chris:] He certainly had himself a good varied he and his pal a good varied work experience, didn't he?
[Norrine:] What in our school?
[Chris:] Mhm. and tennis coaching and don't know what else he did do.
[Norrine:] things on the wall on the ceiling for. down off the table. He must have been shattered. All I'm supposed to be... his friends cut up all morning... And Maureen asked him to cut them out I E to go round the edge.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Then he cut out... cut them all up
[Chris:] Fatty like?
[Norrine:] Maureen [LAUGHTER]
[Chris:] Good grief! She put them all back together again? [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] Yes. One doesn't want to overwhelm her
[Chris:] Sure.
[Norrine:] not really never see her except when she's with school...
[Chris:] Well you did speak to her again and make the suggestion.
[Norrine:] I did.
[Lynda:] More coffee?
[Norrine:] Yes please... I think I will ask her... or suggest we meet or something.
[Chris:] Yeah, by all means... by all means.
[Norrine:] I just wonder if... she and Cathy might like to come because she did say to me, how is Cathy and I said she was
[Chris:] She knows about Cathy's problem?
[Norrine:] Yes, she so do you think Cathy would mind if I rang her... and I said no I'm sure she wouldn't. At the end she left I said... do ring Cathy if you feel like it because I'm sure she won't mind... well it would be nice for us to find out who's been through the same thing recently.
[Chris:] Mm. My grandmoth granny used to have these during the war.
[Norrine:] Did she really? I wonder where she got them from.
[Chris:] Oh they were ho hoarded.
[Norrine:] Were they?
[Chris:] She had them in a big glass jar and if you were very good and special occasions.
[Norrine:] Good.
[Chris:] Only hers were... all colours.
[Norrine:] These usually come in bigger chunks than that.
[Chris:] Well they've got... that girl over there 's got soup. What kind of soup has she got?
[Norrine:] It's got dumplings in it.
[Chris:] That might be won ton soup.
[Norrine:] With dumplings in?
[Chris:] I didn't see that.
[Norrine:] Ah.
[Chris:] It looks as if over there stuck on the wall they've got a... rechargeable for hoover for taking crumbs off the tables. Well as it's used in other muckier places I tend not to use it over cleaning table white cloths... aah
[Norrine:] I'm very well fed.
[Chris:] I'm very well fed too, I think I shall ask them for the bill... Yes I did. to clobber in Black Heath village... I notice it didn't say that the premises are now called the age centre.
[Norrine:] No... today you see a lot of people wearing large earrings don't you?
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Is that why you wear such small ones?
[Chris:] As so claims... that was a rather naff comment actually, I can't imagine that, well I can imagine other people wearing big earrings because they're super confident.
[Norrine:] Then you obviously had a... you did say... such a lot of in the Radio Times somewhere I was reading today about er colours you wear.
[Chris:] Oh yes.
[Norrine:] And how people who wear red... go in in business situations go in to assert power... you know I mean
[Chris:] You do mean women in red suits presumably not men in red ties!
[Norrine:] No, men in red ties as well.
[Chris:] Oh really?
[Norrine:] Yes... When I put on red one day, I mean I don't think I have anything in red do I, but when I put on my clothes in the morning
[Lynda:] Would you like some more coffee?
[Chris:] No thank yo would you like some more coffee?
[Norrine:] No thank you.
[Chris:] Could we have the bill please?
[Lynda:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Erm... I'm influenced by all kinds of things... but I'm sure I'm not influenced by wishing for certain power or not.
[Chris:] You don't need to.
[Norrine:] No, but I mean there are other such reasons... I mean there may be initially choosing clothes or something like that, but when I put them on in the morning... I usually put them on to suit the weather... and what's clean and what I've got tights to match.
[Chris:] Yes. [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] Which shoes are comfortable today.
[Chris:] Mhm.
[Norrine:] Or clean today.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Whether I've got painting on them.
[Chris:] Yes.
[Norrine:] Erm... what I wore yesterday and the day before... and also practical things like that.
[Chris:] Yep.
[Norrine:] I think you need a lot of room for
[Chris:] Very true.
[Norrine:] Whether its going to influence me or not
[Chris:] Does that say forty pounds?
[Norrine:] Thirty nine pounds seventy it says.
[Chris:] Actually that was very good... I enjoyed it all.
[Norrine:] Yes.
[Chris:] I don't mind, bills like that when it's all so nice.
[Norrine:] No, quite.
[Chris:] I wonder if we were to look down our wedding invitation list, nearly twenty five years ago... we could have a gathering when we're fifty five of all the people who were at our wedding if they're around today.
[Norrine:] Yeah.
[Chris:] There would have to be some people w we wouldn't invite... as well as the people who are no longer here.
[Norrine:] Yeah.
[Chris:] I mean we'd invite Helen and some friends like, I don't know.
[Norrine:] Yes, the old folk.
[Chris:] Mrs, Hilda and people like that but erm
[Norrine:] Do you still have the list?
[Chris:] Yes... it's there
[Lynda:] Thank you sir.
[Chris:] along with mm... a list of all the wedding people who received day
[Norrine:] Mm... historical references aye.
[Chris:] and cards, and telegrams.
[Norrine:] Wonderful, where do you keep them?
[Chris:] In a box on top of the shelf.
[Norrine:] Most impressive!
[Chris:] We'll have to get them out and have a look at them.
[Norrine:] Mm...
[Chris:] washing.
[Norrine:] Yes, when I spoke to Jack I said how's progress on fixing it? And he said it wa I reckon if they don't fix this weekend it's going to be next year, early next year.
[Chris:] Early next year would be
[Norrine:] I made no comment.
[Chris:] Yes, so there's nothing we can say we're not we don't want want to make them feel awkward about it I mean they have planned what they can plan.
[Norrine:] No good making them feel awkward, they just do what they're going to do and that's it.
[Chris:] Yes quite... well that's fair enough isn't it? They can't consider everybody... or they could never make a decision.
[Lynda:] Thank you, right... So you enjoy your?
[Chris:] We always do when we come here, thank you.
[Lynda:] Yes. It's always very nice... I wish we could come more often. Yeah [LAUGHTER]... well maybe you're missing the Chinese food. [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] That's right.
[Lynda:] Yeah [LAUGHTER] thank you.
[Norrine:] Many thanks.
[Lynda:] Bye.
[Norrine:] Bye....
[Chris:] A lovely treat, thank you darling.
[Norrine:] I enjoyed it... glad you did.
[Chris:] You chose very well, I used to get really nervous when I came to Chinese restaurants, I never knew what to choose.
[Norrine:] Really?
[Chris:] But gradually over the years you get the hang of it. Some people get the hang of these things more quickly than I do.
[Norrine:] We didn't go often enough dear, that's the other thing. Right, shall we make tracks?
[Chris:] Yes. Yes,Po Petts Wood was eh an inbetween the wars, trendy suburban development wasn't it?
[Norrine:] Well it's still
[Chris:] Commuter land.
[Norrine:] it's still commuter land.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] It's not unpleasant at all, these I mean
[Chris:] No I'm not saying it's unpleasant I'm saying it was trendy in those days.
[Norrine:] Trendy, yeah.
[Chris:] But there is an awful lot of sameyness about it unfortunately.
[Norrine:] Well, especially in a long road like this.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] Some of the other roads have more individual houses in don't they?
[Chris:] Well they have bigger... detached houses I'm not... sure how individual they actually are.
[Norrine:] But even these aren't all the same.
[Chris:] Are they not?
[Norrine:] No... they are all semi-detached but er... there are two or three different styles and they are alternated. Have you had the accounts from John?... From the office.
[Chris:] No not yet, it was started on Tuesday this week... they have the books for ten days or something before they started on them.
[Norrine:] How long do they take to do them?
[Chris:] Oh well I've had certain queries already and
[Norrine:] so they're working on them?
[Chris:] and the basis, basics would have been by the end of next week but certain, assuming that they are not interrupted and sort of dragged onto something more lucrative... the bad news will have been quantified by then.
[Norrine:] Well we can't have a bad year presumably it means you don't pay tax.
[Chris:] Mhm that's right.
[Norrine:] Which can't be a bad thing.
[Chris:] Sure.
[Norrine:] Or are you paying for a year in a in arrears?
[Chris:] Oh you, in in in essence you do but even so it's a... you
[Norrine:] As long as you're pa not paying in your bad for your good year.
[Chris:] Oh that, oh that happens too.
[Norrine:] Is that likely to happen this year then... paying for last year?
[Chris:] That's right.
[Norrine:] And the year before so you will have to pay tax.
[Chris:] Something like that yes.
[Norrine:] Or or for bad year.
[Chris:] That's right yes.
[Norrine:] But do you offset it, I mean can you?
[Chris:] You what s normally happens is that the following year when you make profit you say ah but last year... I made er you know I made a loss of ten thousand pound set that off against the profit of ten thousand pound I made this year so that tax pay... losses can be carried forward... there are other more complex ways of doing it too but that's the standard sort of way, I think.
[Norrine:] But it's the year that you haven't, but yo the year before that you haven't yet paid for... you have to pay for it in the year that it you don't make any profit.
[Chris:] Yes... you normally pay for it in the following year.
[Norrine:] Yeah, so that's a bit of a disadvantage.
[Chris:] Because yet pulled together the figures for last year.
[Norrine:] Sure.
[Chris:] Sure, I I had fork out corporation tax a few months ago for the previous good year.
[Norrine:] Yes. [car indicator]
[Chris:] John got a bit shirty about the ten pound or something, he reckoned his wife had didn't he? [LAUGHTER]
[Norrine:] to pay his bill, no doubt. I don't think she'll be very pleased would she?
[Chris:] That's not the point!
[Norrine:] She's enjoying herself, we met her at John's house... I felt nervous this morning for sleeping home late although in fact I have been awake quite a lot in between, but
[Chris:] Mm
[Norrine:] it was only ten to eight and I got up because I thought I was getting late for work and I'd better get moving.
[Chris:] Was she walking in?
[Norrine:] No, they went on the bus this morning.
[Chris:] Ah.
[Norrine:] She caught the twenty to nine bus.
[Chris:] She might just about made it then... because she certainly seemed to be a bit late on the move.
[Norrine:] She was alright, I made her something to eat.
[Chris:] Mm,
[Norrine:] she said she wanted her jeans ironed and I er pressed them and then when I she came downstairs in her black trousers and
[Chris:] Ah the ramblers must do a roaring trade.
[Norrine:] Yes... we've never done anything about inviting...
[Chris:] I've been trying to get hold of him
[Norrine:] Really?
[Chris:] to organize meat for the barbecue....
[Norrine:] When is the barbecue, the twentieth?... Something of June
[Chris:] Thirtieth.
[Norrine:] A Sunday.
[Chris:] Sunday.
[Norrine:] Mm.
[Chris:] Why?
[Norrine:] Becau Because I forgot... That was the day I was thinking of having a proper lunch party but I won't do it if you're going out.
[Chris:] Try the twenty-third.
[Norrine:] No, I haven't I won't have finished my reports then.
[Chris:] Aha.
[Norrine:] two weekends away I shall be up my to ears in it... mustn't plan anything for that weekend.
[Chris:] Blowing awfully quickly, that's the second out of the sixth that you bought yesterday.
[Norrine:] Yes... I bought them in Sainsbury's they are Sainsbury's bulbs aren't they?
[Chris:] Philip's bulbs.
[Norrine:] I mean that was a new bulb, well that's the second one you've used.
[Chris:] Second one I've used. No, not yet... What's on television?
[Norrine:] Well there's only look like two that are anything discussing that film about the lambs... whatever it's called with Jodie Foster, the rest didn't look very interesting but you may feel differently.
[Chris:] Yes, a bit forgettable isn't it?... I put my specs outside.
[Norrine:] They're in Oh here they are
[Chris:] That's a very funny business isn't it?... Effective exercise.
[Norrine:] Pardon?
[Chris:] This bit about obesity.
[Norrine:] How about this... No Smoking Please stickers have been sent out to London cabbies but unfortunately they will not arrive before next week.
[Chris:] Mm.
[Norrine:] Marvellous skull of a Viking here.
[Chris:] Really, what was that then?
[Norrine:] This eight hundred year old... skull of a Viking found off the northern coast of Scotland
[Chris:] Oh.
[Norrine:] and old other bones and possessions including shield, comb, brooch... last weekend it was found.
[Chris:] Mhm.
[Norrine:] The two people who found it are expected to receive the value of the brooch... but it's a very well preserved skull, I suppose it was all in mud an I didn't know the Ethiopians had an imperial family, I suppose it was Haile Selassie's relatives is it?
[Chris:] Mhm... that's right [yawn]... yes some of the women were locked up for fifteen years.
[Norrine:] Really... do to you.
[Chris:] [yawn]
[Norrine:] Some kind of brain.
[Chris:] Not enough of it is the conclusion there.