[Monica:] Oh it was really funny yesterday... I tried recording Nick
[Andy:] Right.
[Monica:] and I had it on right... and he came in right, and I was going, he was going, a long conversation all about little Harmony and everything... and really going onto it, [LAUGHTER] and I [] went to play it back and it hadn't recorded anything.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] Just like... sort of, I've got it wrong again!
[Andy:] Mm.
[Monica:] Erm... I recorded it the other day and I didn't even know.
[Andy:] Yeah?
[Monica:] I did.
[Andy:] When?
[Monica:] When Nick was here I turned that on. I told you, but it didn't come out very well.
[Andy:] Mm. Was he, sort of stood at the pool?
[Monica:] No, you invited him round didn't you? It was playing, it was just so sort of playing. And like no one noticed. [LAUGHTER]... Mm mm.
[Andy:] Mm mm! Mm mm!
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] How much have you got there []?
[Andy:] Oh it's too late now, I've already seen it. You can't miss anything in this bloody room.
[Monica:] Are you gonna go to bed in a minute?
[Andy:] I can't waste my life sleeping.
[Monica:] So this place in Kingston... erm
[Andy:] I don't think I'm gonna get it. Might not have any jobs left.
[Monica:] I thought somebody else
[Andy:] Perhaps somebody's working at Kingston, as long as I get a trial.
[Monica:] Well there might, there might be a possibility?
[Andy:] It's still big, bad boss.
[Monica:] Well you need to talk to them.
[Andy:] He's kinda talked himself into it.
[Monica:] Why, is he horrible?
[Andy:] Eh?
[Monica:] Is he horrible?
[Andy:] No, he's alright, but I just hate talking to people over the phone.
[Monica:] And if it's you can... I always miss things on the phone.... Really I'm still.
[Andy:] [sigh]
[Monica:] I was supposed to get up this morning at half six to fe, make sure you got out the bath properly.
[Andy:] Disgusting!
[Monica:] I went up to bed last night, I was falling asleep at half nine so so you're not watching the infidel tonight? [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] So only you were left?
[Monica:] Yeah, I had Lisa round.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] She's alright, she's just decides to slow down at night. She's gonna go back tonight.
[Andy:] Does, she lives in Hitchin?
[Monica:] I've got to take her to the school, her T B scores were up. isn't it? I actually expected her to be at home a lot more often cos it's o, it's a lot quicker for her to ge, to get from... Blackheath to wha... to er Ca... Camberwell than it is to get... back here.
[Andy:] Well it's not a
[Monica:] Well I would
[Andy:] problem for her to get here though is it really?
[Monica:] Oh well... she says the train. She won't get my, back on a train though will she to college?
[Andy:] But it's so much easier than the, to drive.
[Monica:] Yeah.
[Andy:] It must cost.
[Monica:] It's whether it'll be cheaper or not.
[Andy:] The trains or would it be more expensive to drive?
[Monica:] Mm mm. Is it nice? Good.
[Andy:] Mm mm mm! You got any of them things you don't want.
[Monica:] Mm. Some foreign, crappy, shitty
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Now you're gonna get all depressed aren't you? Just like
[Monica:] No!
[Andy:] your mum does.
[Monica:] We well actually, I'm not hungry. Last night,, this Sunday, all I had was a banana at lunchtime, hadn't eaten all day... or drunk, I had two glasses of water
[Andy:] That's ridiculous! Just...!
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]... And, then I had my dinner in the night time. And I had
[Andy:] Aha.
[Monica:] my first ever tin of rice pudding. [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] It's low fat []. And today I've had cereal, gonna have lunch about twelve, and then have dinner tonight.
[Andy:] Tt tt!
[Monica:] I had a
[Andy:] these are twenty eight pounds.
[Monica:] Yeah. Oh I went to the doctors last night... cos I had that check up didn't I? And he said, I'm two stone overweight, he just I'm just over half a stone over weight.
[Andy:] There's no way you're two stone overweight
[Monica:] Oh well actually
[Andy:] but the doctor wouldn't lie to you to make you feel better.
[Monica:] No. And he went to me, he's going, do you smoke? I went, erm I haven't for a while, I said but I do very occasionally cos I... he goes [recording ends]
[speaker003:] Andy, do you want a cup of tea?
[Andy:] Er er, yeah. Cheers.
[Monica:] Do you want one Nick?
[Nick:] Why not?
[Monica:] D'ya know what I should have had your certificate today? Well
[Nick:] Why?
[Monica:] cos I, I went down to sort it out and like, if I'd had yours I could have, they could have mended it there and then.
[Nick:] Oh I'll go down tomorrow.
[Monica:] Go down tomorrow and just explain, Andy's need to be soled... Andy's will be a bit awkward.
[Nick:] I, no,to tell me what's happening? What have they said? We should have all gone down together then?
[Monica:] No, it's that he, he goes, if I had the other one he could have done it there and then on the computer.
[Nick:] Oh right.
[Monica:] Yeah, but you see
[Nick:] So it just means I gotta, do I have to take the thing in with me?
[Monica:] Just go down
[Andy:] Just
[Monica:] tomorrow
[Andy:] take a letter from me as.
[Monica:] What, what's that?
[Andy:] Hey?
[Monica:] ?
[Nick:] What's that then?
[Andy:] Why don't you say... fuck them right off and they'll think that you.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER] Oh! Don't make me laugh.
[Monica:] Do you want me to send them today?
[Andy:] I do now! No!
[Nick:] But he
[Andy:] Just thought I'd talk to myself though. Buy me a present. When I go... cos when I, it didn't say much, is a, is, he really wasn't going? I believe.
[Nick:] No he doesn't want to.
[Andy:] He's moving in. Anyway
[Nick:] No! No.
[Monica:] You've got peppers all up your arse.
[Nick:] Cos she asked for one, you didn't ask for anything. I'll get you a pencil from
[Monica:] Do you want coffee Nick?
[Andy:] We're going to be using Ipswich again actually.
[Monica:] Want coffee Nick?
[Nick:] ... Erm... please.
[Monica:] Three?
[Nick:] Yes please.
[Andy:] Ah ah! Da da da da.... Don't give me that shit Mr... er er, we're having the heating on at night while Andy's not here!
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Erm... what's, what's this about the would work? You said this... bills cut.
[Nick:] You're paying all of it... forever.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] I'll find another job.
[Nick:] Erm
[Monica:] Five fifty.
[Nick:] I dunno.
[Andy:] So they are
[Monica:] What is it? Okay the er er er, public, public school boy.
[Andy:] Oh you
[Nick:] No, no, no. Heritage temptation actually.
[Monica:] Oh is it? Oh.
[Andy:] Sort of heritage crap.
[Monica:] .
[Andy:] Ah. Ah. Put a bit of light.
[Nick:] As you say I just, she told me... so... so
[Monica:] Who?
[Nick:] this girl from, turn up at these.
[Monica:] Oh right. And if we go about ten is that alright?
[Nick:] Ten, I said ten, eleven... probably.
[Monica:] Oh that's alright.
[Nick:] Do you want to come a party Saturday night or are you working?
[Andy:] I'm working.
[Monica:] He's working.
[Nick:] Ah!
[Monica:] He's working!
[Andy:] Well you two can go together.
[Monica:] We ee ee ee!
[Nick:] Wahey! Wahey! Wahey! Hand
[Monica:] And
[Nick:] in hand.
[Monica:] told tell Penny. I'll ring Penny up
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] we can apologize.
[Nick:] Ah! Did you hear what he did?
[Andy:] Rang us up at quarter past bloody one this morning! I went fucking!
[Nick:] Half past one.
[Monica:] Ha!
[Nick:] You shouldn't go to bed too early!
[Monica:] No, right, they were tired they wore each other out might have been.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Well I was getting up early.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER] Sorry []?
[Andy:] I had to get up early this morning. Had be to be up at quarter to eight. This is early for me.
[Nick:] [singing] Da, da da da da da [].
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] Andy, what this, are you cooking tonight Andy []?
[Andy:] What?
[Monica:] What are you cooking tonight?
[Nick:] Are you cooking tonight?
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] No I'm cooking for myself tonight.
[Nick:] No, you're not. You could be.
[Andy:] Do you want me to go and get something from... cos it's cheaper.
[Nick:] What's cheaper? Ah you, you can't
[Andy:] Bloody lucky though.
[Monica:] You pikey! Typical!
[Andy:] Pikey?
[Nick:] Pikey!
[Andy:] What's pikey? What does pikey mean?
[Monica:] I dunno. Crusty.
[Andy:] I've heard of crusty but not
[Nick:] Don't you know what pikey means?
[Andy:] Pikey? You don't know what pikey means. I'll get us there, there for half past.
[Nick:] Ooh ah ah! I've gotta get down.
[Monica:] I wonder if Liza'll be home tonight?
[Andy:] Yes.
[Monica:] I wonder.
[Andy:] She said she'd be back. And don't forget
[Nick:] You're looking forward to it aren't you?
[Andy:] Oh yeah!
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] We're gonna have
[Nick:] I know.
[Andy:] I'll find
[Nick:] You're dealing with it mate.
[Andy:] I'm not dealing with anything.
[Monica:] Why? She'll be
[Andy:] I dunno.
[Monica:] alright. She'll be alright about the thing.
[Andy:] Agony Aunt Nick.
[Nick:] Oh my God!
[Andy:] Er er Nick Rayner!
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] Ah you're quite sympathetic though Nick. You for us. She thinks your wonderful!
[Nick:] Oh God!
[Andy:] Sympathetic?
[Monica:] Are you gonna take that off? Not while I'm around now.
[Andy:] No, no, you can have some of this candy. I will let you have a slice. Want some?
[Monica:] No.
[Nick:] Yes please.
[Monica:] I'm on a diet aren't I?
[Andy:] Oh it doesn't matter about that.
[Nick:] Scrap it for one day.
[Monica:] No. No.
[Nick:] One piece of fruit cake is not gonna kill you.
[Andy:] Guarantee it's not gonna work. Not when you've got your hamburgers
[Nick:] Exercise
[Andy:] chips.
[Nick:] that's the key.
[Andy:] hamburgers and chips.
[Monica:] Well it's. Right? I don't want to lose it.
[Andy:] Some diet that is!
[Nick:] Oh bloody hell!
[Andy:] You wanna go on a diet like me, chicken royal sandwiches at quarter past five then.
[Monica:] Chicken royal, where d'ya get them from?
[Andy:] Eh?
[Monica:] Where d'ya get chicken royal sandwiches?
[Nick:] Andy, look shut up!
[Andy:] From the fridge.
[Nick:] Can you pass me a towel please? Andy if you're short of dosh.
[Andy:] Er...
[Nick:] Say!
[Andy:] Yeah exactly! I won't give you any!
[Monica:] Look at this, [LAUGHTER] [].
[Nick:] Listen
[Monica:] Actually I will have just
[Nick:] don't knock it!
[Monica:] do you think it'll be, be really bad if I had a little bit?
[Andy:] It just goes straight on and you'll never get it off again.
[Monica:] I'm gonna have a little bit. One bit like that.
[Andy:] There you go. Cos my Mum made it so
[Monica:] Yeah, that's alright then.
[Andy:] that is not a little bit. No.
[Nick:] No, that's, that's your slice Andy.
[Monica:] Oh.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] I'm sorry Monica.
[Andy:] That's miniature that is. That's really small that is. and have a bit of that bit.
[Monica:] Do you think it's alright if I have a bit?
[Nick:] Well yeah! Be alright.
[Andy:] I told you, you wanna do some exercise.
[Nick:] But it's not, it's not exercise
[Andy:] Oh look at this! I'm cold!
[Monica:] Put the heating on.
[Andy:] No, not now.
[Monica:] So you mean
[Nick:] Oh God! Damn it! We're allowed to have it on in the night when I'm never fucking here!
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Doesn't it go off about ten? Ee! Ah ah!
[Nick:] An An Andy, Andy, you can borrow my...
[Andy:] Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Jesus!
[Nick:] It was really warm outside.
[Andy:] It's good idea actually. I might get one of them. What are they called?
[Nick:] Fleeces.
[Andy:] Fleece.
[Nick:] You can buy, you can buy, you buy them really cheaply in.
[Monica:] Nick you've got one.
[Nick:] Yeah. Well I've got two. Get, the green ones.
[Monica:] So did you ha
[Andy:] Mm?
[Nick:] You want some green ones don't you?
[Andy:] How much are they?
[Nick:] About, ten quid.
[Andy:] Oh.
[Monica:] Oh look, the mess come on.
[Andy:] Ah ba, dub dub.
[Monica:] So erm... how long you, did Justin make it alright?
[Andy:] So what were you doing then?
[Nick:] So ungrateful! So bloody ungrateful! You give her a piece of cake and you get a bit of lip!
[Monica:] Oh that was nice, thank you.
[Andy:] I know. I know. It's brilliant!
[Monica:] Yeah.
[Andy:] Bloody hell!
[Nick:] Ha.
[Andy:] So what?
[Nick:] Are your
[Monica:] I'm
[Nick:] hands cold? Get some gloves.
[Andy:] No I'm one of them people with no bloody arms! What do you think then?
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]... It's not cold. Put your jumper on. It's not
[Andy:] This is
[Monica:] that cold yet. Give it
[Andy:] I'm not, I'm not cold, I'm ill. I'm ill.
[Monica:] Are you not well?
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]... Ah ah ah!
[Monica:] Ah ah ah! You poor bunny!
[Andy:] Suffering!
[Monica:] Ah ah ah!
[Andy:] Thank you.
[Nick:] So you
[Monica:] There you go.
[Nick:] Cheers. Is that my tea?
[Andy:] It's bloody cold and you're.
[Nick:] Fucking hell!
[Andy:] The freezer's going. Get some thermal underwear next time.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER] No [].
[Monica:] Mm! Mm! Lovely!
[Nick:] I think it's gonna get a bit funny with those trousers.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]... That turns me on that does.
[Andy:] Long, long johns. Mm mm! Mm mm!
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] This is er [], the spoon's here.
[Andy:] [singing] Ba, ba ba ba [].
[Nick:] Well, you can put my name down for it, maybe at Christmas for a couple of days. That's alright.
[Monica:] Well I ain't doing anything. [LAUGHTER] No [].
[Nick:] No.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] As long as you open the door [].
[Andy:] It it's good ex, good experience at least. Mm.
[Monica:] It's what?
[Andy:] Cos basically they have these sort of kiddies... all these activities and you just help... you help out.
[Nick:] I hate kids!
[Andy:] I don't mind kids.
[Nick:] I don't like them in a classroom since those
[Andy:] The
[Nick:] that Andy kept.
[Andy:] I do not sit and do that with kids.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] I... do not! That's a load of crap! I don't like, I, I, no, no
[Nick:] I hate you in, I hate you er
[Andy:] We
[Nick:] I'll have to see where those photographs, a lot of them are here. It was at, it was at the place where the football where you got us a grant playing with those little scum.
[Andy:] Where's this at?
[Nick:] No, when we had the... disco at the thing.
[Andy:] Oh those, with all the kids, yeah.
[Monica:] Well you judged that didn't you?
[Nick:] We did actually play football with Stuart round there.
[Andy:] They're good fun.
[Nick:] Ah. [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] I did play football with them in it actually. Sending them indoors.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER] That's just so mean isn't it [].
[Andy:] I played, I played against erm
[Monica:] Southend. [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] oh what was I saying?
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] No stop laughing. But, I did actually go
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER] He was the teacher [], you're not supposed to laugh. He just went go on Andy, that's disgusting!
[Monica:] Er bu da but... how did they play? [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] No, no, he went to disgusting lengths did he?
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Yeah. The crutches, they were on crutches
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] I bet he didn't do []
[Andy:] and they're going... like Nicky used to do.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] Put Nicky in his wheelchair [].
[Nick:] Wheelchair! Wheelchair!
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Have you heard that one?
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Have you heard that one? Olly goes round, and goes round going, wheelchair! Wheelchair! Like this.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]... I don't know why he does it.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] It's like the guys are all moaning, it's a bloody caring society or whatever it's meant to be.
[Nick:] Ah we us, we used to do it at some of the erm
[Andy:] No what, ah the priest
[Nick:] when we had my.
[Andy:] what,whe where does the priest go, or priests go, he's quite young, and he goes walking, he goes, have you really got S and M then?
[Monica:] What's that?
[Andy:] S and M? Sadomasochism. [LAUGHTER] Sadomasochism [].
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] What is that?
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] Bondage!
[Andy:] Bondage.
[Monica:] What?
[Andy:] Sadomasochism. He goes, he goes I suppose you're, er you know what I'm saying. Really in a state of
[Nick:] Leather gear
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] and studs, you know. The stuff Kenny wears.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER] He wears a leather and so forth.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] Yeah, well you haven't got a jacket.
[Andy:] Oh dear.
[Nick:] Got a suede jacket.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah, alright []. He's got a horrible one that hardly ever wears.
[Nick:] Bondage.
[Andy:] Kenny just stands there in just a suede jacket on.
[Nick:] Oh you're not going to be here for this joke so I, I said oh... gotta let him down.
[Monica:] Oh Nick, how come you don't have any cake? [LAUGHTER] [].
[Nick:] I'm not hungry.
[Andy:] You are always hungry.
[Nick:] Well I'm not now.
[Andy:] I bet you stuffed your face last night didn't you?
[Nick:] I did actually, yeah.
[Andy:] Aha.
[Nick:] Quite a lot to eat last night.
[Andy:] Oh right.
[Nick:] Food was delicious as well.
[Andy:] Oh well terrific.
[Nick:] Yeah. You don't wanna, do you want me to cook tonight, I'll, I'll get something... there must be something, you know.
[Andy:] Well no, it's not really Nick cos I haven't cooked anything yet.
[Nick:] No! Don't worry about it.
[Andy:] Well I've just warmed in the microwave.
[Nick:] No I mean I'm not, I wasn't gonna
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] cook tea
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] Who's counting []?
[Andy:] Sorry? [LAUGHTER] Yeah I noticed you were getting []
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] only got a little belly.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] ... Yeah I would actually.
[Nick:] And you hadn't cooked.
[Andy:] Yeah.
[Monica:] Honest?
[Andy:] No cos you can't, he's not chosen a yet.
[Nick:] Oh yeah. I cooked you a meal, yeah, right.
[Andy:] Yeah.
[Monica:] I got boil in the bag fish tomorrow.
[Nick:] Mm mm
[Andy:] Lovely.
[Nick:] mm!
[Andy:] mm. What do wa, what do you want?
[Monica:] This cake turns me on.
[Andy:] What sort of things will I get? Something that's simple and quick I could get.
[Nick:] You going that, what's... are you going to, down to Paul 's twenty first?
[Andy:] Nah.
[Nick:] I may go there.
[Andy:] No I wasn't gonna go. Do you know anyone?
[Monica:] I've got too much work to do.
[Andy:] Do you know these dangerous people?
[Nick:] Mm? Are we gonna for a drink Andy?
[Andy:] Got any money?
[Nick:] Mm. Get, how you, how you getting to... to work then? I thought they were gonna ring you
[Andy:] Well
[Nick:] as advance?
[Andy:] They have.
[Nick:] They have?
[Andy:] Yeah.
[Nick:] And it's been
[Andy:] Paid the rent with it.
[Monica:] Your Mum makes nice cake.
[Andy:] Mm.
[Monica:] Tell her to make some more. [LAUGHTER] No just tell her [].
[Andy:] She always makes me something, a cake and allsorts... when I go
[Nick:] Oh yuk!
[Andy:] home like.
[Monica:] Mm mm. Not long.
[Nick:] I wish I had a cakey Mum.
[Andy:] I'll make a cake when we're off soon... sometime.
[Nick:] Mm mm, mm mm.
[Monica:] You could have done. We haven't got a blender
[Andy:] But
[Monica:] though.
[Andy:] erm....
[Nick:] Blender? They're lazy! Do it with your hands.
[Andy:] She uses a food processor or something.
[Monica:] That's what I mean.
[Andy:] Blender's not the same.
[Monica:] Couldn't have found it where he was.
[Andy:] Hey?
[Nick:] He's harmless!
[Andy:] Yeah, yeah, yeah.... Ah that was
[Monica:] Mick said to me today... erm
[Andy:] Oh you saw him did you?
[Nick:] No!
[Monica:] erm
[Andy:] Mick the stud. I think I saw his Mum and Dad.
[Nick:] Yeah? What did you think?
[Andy:] I sa, well I saw somebody
[Monica:] Got long hair?
[Nick:] Yeah.
[Monica:] He's
[Andy:] well I
[Monica:] got erm... long hair actually. Quite old, older than us.
[Andy:] Mm. Yeah, he's still a bit older than us.
[Nick:] Well we're gonna try get him to go out for a drink er one evening with that tape recorder so we're gonna record the conversation on the side of that.
[Andy:] What of Mick?
[Nick:] Yeah.
[Monica:] That'll be really boring wouldn't it?
[Nick:] Yeah. You know, he's like a chef now, I bet he comes out on tape like the chef in the Muppets.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Are you sure?
[Nick:] [mimicking] Gerdy, gerdy, gerdy! [] Gerdy, gerdy, gerdy!
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] Oh dear.
[Monica:] [sighing] Oh [].
[Nick:] [mimicking] Gerdy, gerdy, doo dee doo doo dee doo dee doo [].
[Andy:] Oh.
[Monica:] Well done. I've gotta... well I recorded you alright. It was really funny, I recorded the main lecture the oth, yesterday and it was Dave [LAUGHTER] who's got like a speech impediment [].
[Nick:] Oh no!
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] Da da da, it was really funny []. So I don't know what that'll come out like.
[Nick:] You got, but you have recorded Mick though haven't you?
[Monica:] Yeah, the other day.
[Andy:] Yeah?
[Nick:] He was in
[Monica:] Yeah, you were there.
[Nick:] he doesn't know about it though.
[Monica:] No.
[Andy:] I didn't know.
[Monica:] Yeah you know that... when we were, on Friday when I was in my room he came up
[Andy:] Oh yeah.
[Monica:] and he
[Nick:] Mm mm! Mm mm!
[Monica:] I've decided to erm... let this go. Was it you I was telling about? Kenny er, [LAUGHTER] Kenny wasn't very impressed with Mick []. Mhm. Also
[Andy:] Wasn't he? What did he think of him?
[Nick:] Some seedy little [LAUGHTER] heavy, [].
[Monica:] Thought he was very, quite shu, shuffly
[Nick:] Thought he was the chef from the Muppets.
[Monica:] shuffly.
[Andy:] He does, he's so... mm mm... very slow isn't he? But it's hard luck I suppose.
[Monica:] He's alright though.
[Andy:] Sort him out.
[Monica:] He said, I said when are you coming round to see us? And he goes, oh, he goes well whenever. I said well Andy's in tonight. [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] He won't be round. [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] I said, I said do you wanna go out for a drink on Wednesday? He went... mm mm, nah. Him and his T G C chums there.
[Andy:] Urgh! Urgh!
[Nick:] Don't they like this T G C lot, you know?
[Andy:] No, they're alright. They're really nice, but you know, I'm just like a bloody third leg or something.
[Nick:] And Andy 's there. [mimicking] Oh ya. Hello [].
[Andy:] Mm mm.
[Nick:] He went to the pub actually. He went off to the erm... blooming
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] you know, B and B thing.
[Monica:] Who?
[Nick:] Andy who I used to go to school with.
[Monica:] Oh yeah.
[Nick:] Refused to be a prefect. Cos we were in the fourth year and the upper dorm grew up
[Andy:] Is that what you were saying the night before?
[Nick:] Yeah.
[Andy:] We was going
[Nick:] Seat belt.
[Andy:] I hope there isn't any violence at this thing. I knew it was violent, people throwing bricks and bottles and the lot.
[Nick:] [clears throat] Also we was gonna do, the fucking Police just think it's shit!
[Andy:] Mind you, this Welsh bloke, this other other Welsh bloke
[Nick:] Oh yeah.
[Andy:] he was going, no, no, there won't be violence.
[Monica:] What was this?
[Nick:] You know the erm, the, the riots that happened
[Monica:] Poll tax riots.
[Nick:] no, not the poll tax, the other one, the erm... Anti-Nazi League riots.
[Monica:] Did you go?
[Nick:] No. Talking about
[Andy:] No, Nick was on the outside of the weren't you?
[Monica:] What d'ya mean?
[Andy:] Nick was with the skin heads throwing
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] bottles out [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] No, no.
[Andy:] at the police.
[Nick:] No I think the way that
[Andy:] You read the little books wrong.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER] [].
[Nick:] No, I just think, I just
[Monica:] Andy, you looked deformed then!
[Nick:] Do you like my picture of Maggie?
[Andy:] Thank you.
[Monica:] No, I, I
[Andy:] I did actually.
[Monica:] I was looking at it quite a bit cos I'm sure Liza'd whip it down.
[Nick:] And I put some up on the page three.
[Andy:] I don't understand though, surely... a woman Prime Minister, you'd be proud?
[Monica:] She's can be
[Andy:] Especially since we think she's been running clear.
[Nick:] Yeah.
[Andy:] Apart from Churchill of course.
[Monica:] I can't
[Andy:] No
[Nick:] well I, I'll give him his due old er... who is it?
[Andy:] Apart from old baby bots himself.
[Nick:] Bottle? Baby
[Andy:] Baby bots. His head looks like a baby's arse.
[Nick:] Who does? Churchill?
[Andy:] Churchill.
[Nick:] Mm. Zich Hale
[Andy:] You know, you know Churchill's war
[Nick:] He was a boring bastard!
[Andy:] Churchill's war time speeches... er, he didn't actually do those ones the radio, he didn't actually do them. The man who did, Larry Lambswater actually did them.
[Monica:] Really?
[Andy:] Yeah.
[Nick:] Yeah. [mimicking] Larry the Lamb []. [mimicking] Larry the Lamb [].
[Monica:] [mimicking] Ah ah ah ah ah []. [LAUGHTER]... That bad.
[Nick:] [mimicking] Larry the Lamb []. Don't you remember Larry the Lamb.
[Monica:] Mm.
[Nick:] You had a deprived childhood I should say.
[Monica:] He was in Kenya. In Kenya.
[Andy:] I was in Kenya. I was in
[Nick:] Kenya?
[Andy:] [mimicking] umbudi bwana [] land.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] What did you, have in Kenya?
[Nick:] [mimicking] Um Bongo, um bongo []!
[Andy:] We got Scooby Doo actually.
[Monica:] [singing] Scooby dooby doo []
[Andy:] [singing] Scooby dooby doo []
[Nick:] You must have liked coloured people?
[Monica:] Astral Ant.
[Andy:] So do you.
[Monica:] What do you
[Nick:] And Shaggy, have you noticed the way Shaggy walks.
[Andy:] [mimicking] There! Scooby [].
[Nick:] Have you seen the way they walk in Scooby Doo. They go....
[Monica:] You look a bit like Sco, erm
[Andy:] Shaggy.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] Shaggy [].
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER] Oh cheers []! [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Hey,, and the mystery machine where they all wear groovy looking
[Monica:] I used to really like... Captain... Caveman!
[Nick:] Oh God! Cavey Wavey!
[Andy:] Er we saw that Captain Caveman.
[Nick:] With, with the three er duvets.
[Monica:] Oh Cavey Wavey! Mm mm!
[Andy:] And er, what was it called? Oh... high you, erm Thundercats or is that
[Nick:] [singing] Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, Thunder Cats []!
[Andy:] [singing] Thunder, Thunder Cats []!
[Nick:] aargh!
[Andy:] That was good. And Duck Tales was really good.
[Nick:] That was good isn't it?
[Monica:] Yeah.
[Andy:] Things like Defenders of the Earth.
[Nick:] Oh yeah! [singing] Da dong []!
[Monica:] and say come on then, I'll give you a game.
[Andy:] The thing is, we saw each other
[Monica:] What?
[Andy:] all day.
[Monica:] You can have rabbit, oh the
[Nick:] Yeah.
[Monica:] When I give you chicken
[Andy:] No.
[Nick:] Mhm.
[Andy:] There's nothing in there.
[Nick:] You can have some chili sauce and peanut butter.
[Andy:] No it's alright.
[Nick:] Peanut butter with chillies. They were really those.
[Andy:] What I'm gonna do like, is erm... I think I might go out, oh what do you want? Anyway, I'll go in, I wanna go down Tesco's anyway so... it's erm, just really since I spoken to you really. I want
[Nick:] I've got some noodles though.
[Andy:] Do you wanna do some Chinese stuff?
[Monica:] Yeah. Chinese noodles.
[Andy:] Noodles?
[Nick:] Yeah I got some erm, proper noodles.
[Andy:] You didn't send any noodles. I hate to think what
[Nick:] No I don't.
[Andy:] looks like.
[Nick:] Well I do.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Well it's
[Nick:] In fact I haven't, I found that cat
[Andy:] I mean are these noodles or
[Nick:] I've had that
[Andy:] every time you've made a meal you've made noodles.
[Nick:] No. No.
[Andy:] Just cos nobody eats it, God damn it! Potato it's good for you.
[Nick:] Yeah well your... [mimicking] potato []!
[Monica:] Potato.
[Andy:] Well I don't care as long they're not Super Noodles.
[Nick:] No, they're, they're proper Sharwoods... noodles. You know, egg noo, noodles, noodles.
[Andy:] Sharwoods. of India.
[Monica:] I could still bring him around.
[Andy:] Ah I don't, don't know.
[Nick:] [singing] []. Cos he called you a fat cunt,yo, it still rankles with you doesn't it?
[Monica:] What are you talking about?
[Andy:] Yeah, you didn't even say
[Nick:] Yeah you.
[Andy:] he called me a fucking cunt!
[Nick:] You fucking cunt!
[Monica:] Why?
[Nick:] I dunno.
[Andy:] Dunno. It's a mystery to, you know, we were just sitting and he walked up and he went... Andy, you're a fucking cunt!
[Monica:] Hope you
[Andy:] And then we went, [mimicking] ha ah []!
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] That's Justin []!
[Nick:] I've never heard anything of that type actually.
[Andy:] What could I have done to make Justin holier than thou, say anything like that?
[Nick:] Ah, you know Justin. My God!
[Monica:] So was he dossing yesterday?
[Nick:] He was, indeed. He was indeed.
[Andy:] Justin's not a dosser! I mean
[Nick:] He dossed yesterday. You'd be surprised. He, he... it was cos we had examination er, in the afternoon... and he sort of
[Andy:] Ha.
[Nick:] been round second time... then when you go out to... I'm, he's probably doing, probably doing the history society at nights, showing people round so... probably come around... I hope. Presumably, we'll go.
[Andy:] Or your will fall out.
[Nick:] Yeah.
[Monica:] I'd like to see it all actually.
[Nick:] You should go around some time because i it... I mean I know you're... it's just, just like
[Andy:] Especially to see the wide lady.
[Nick:] you know, like you say ghosts er haunt it.
[Andy:] Ooh hoo hoo hoo! Hoo!
[Monica:] How do you know?
[Nick:] Well, people have seen a ghost.
[Andy:] You don't believe in ghosts do you?
[Nick:] Well no, no, erm but wouldn't know if you saw one, you... people only tell us but, but nobody's ever seen a ghost in there so
[Monica:] Well what are all the stories about... all
[Andy:] They're priests, man, they're not gonna say oh yes, are they?
[Nick:] No, they don't, there isn't, there's never been a siting of ghosts at Hill.
[Monica:] I thought college with that, the re, the round room with the five stars is all... demons and
[Nick:] I think, I think that's a tribute. I, no, that was, that was where... where erm... [sniff]... cos it is a, it was a chapel but erm... that's where old Chaucer used to keep all poetry and in his collection like he had erm... cold water he said... used to keep that by his side, by his bed
[Monica:] Oh oh!
[Andy:] Cold water eh?
[Nick:] Cold water, yeah. It was Henry the Eighth's... he was the last Catholic chamberlain actually. He got, he got ki, he got... chopped off his head and then they er
[Andy:] He, I don't
[Nick:] put him down there.
[Andy:] I don't
[Nick:] the reformation was
[Andy:] Kick them all out I say.
[Nick:] What?
[Andy:] Bloody Roman Catholics!
[Monica:] Oi!
[Andy:] They're just scum!
[Nick:] Ooh ooh! Ooh ooh!
[Monica:] Why don't you
[Andy:] Good old Anglian,Anglica
[Nick:] Anglican.
[Andy:] Anglican church.
[Nick:] You're not Anglican, you're Catholic.
[Andy:] I know. But I hate Catholics.
[Monica:] Thank you Nick. I mean, Andy.
[Andy:] But then erm, oh!
[Nick:] He said it.
[Andy:] oh yeah, he also used to have this, this bell, I dunno... some weirdo just
[Monica:] Did our stuff on Islam today.
[Andy:] It's the bells! The bells! You did what?
[Monica:] Stuff on Islam. I Koran
[Andy:] And he us
[Monica:] and the.
[Andy:] and in one of the rooms he used to have these girlie pin-ups... of the dame, these portraits of all these women he used to fancy in a few years time.
[Monica:] What? Old Horace?
[Andy:] Old Horace. Yeah!
[Monica:] So what about... what's the thing then about the erm... garden,he, the summer house and that they
[Nick:] By the water gardens.
[Andy:] Oh I remember that bollocks! Somebody's buried
[Monica:] Somebody's buried under there and it keeps
[Nick:] No!
[Monica:] And it
[Nick:] No.
[Monica:] keeps breaking up.
[Nick:] No.
[Monica:] I heard that.
[Nick:] Aye, the the... the summer house is Victorian anyway.
[Andy:] I know they walk about it though.
[Nick:] Mm?
[Andy:] Do you remember the first year when we went and everybody went and put notice in front?
[Nick:] Yeah. You did it to me, and then Garth wrote this thing saying
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] vixen. [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] Why?
[Nick:] Cos Garth thought it was really funny. And I didn't believe him one little bit.
[Andy:] It was the same area as the.
[Nick:] Remember that? Don't you remember that? You all put on vixen looks, or... sexy stud, twenty four.
[Monica:] What was Garth putting notes there for then?
[Nick:] Garth. [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] We did one for him.
[Nick:] Ah!
[Andy:] Then he put a note in for you.
[Nick:] Yeah, he put, he put a note in for everybody and then he, he told me, and I said, oh yeah. And then, then he thought, hey, that's a bit compromising
[Andy:] And then Robobird... found it.
[Nick:] Robo, no, Robobird, because that was the way you met Robobird.
[Monica:] Who's Robobird?
[Nick:] Simon bloody.
[Monica:] What about Gareth? You haven't said anything.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] Yes! You remembered.
[Andy:] No, no, he shagged.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] [scream]
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] I do deny it!
[Nick:] No. No.
[Andy:] I think it
[Nick:] Don't worry about that.
[Andy:] No, I was thinking it was shock you actually said it actually.
[Monica:] But
[Nick:] No.
[Monica:] he snogged her?
[Nick:] No.
[Andy:] Blow job.
[Nick:] I got a kiss out of her once.
[Monica:] A ki, what, just
[Nick:] Ju, just... just like this really.
[Monica:] What a tongue kiss?
[Nick:] No! No.
[Andy:] Just a kiss.
[Monica:] On the lips?
[Nick:] Can't really remember.
[Andy:] Tom said it was a blow job
[Nick:] I can't remember.
[Andy:] kiss.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]... The dirty
[Monica:] And how would you know about things like that Mr?
[Nick:] Yeah, how would you know about er that?
[Andy:] I dunno, I just read it in the book saying what a blow job is.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] So you blow... down her mouth?
[Andy:] ... Yeah.
[Monica:] Make a good job of it. [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] Ooh!
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]... That's quite bitchy for me. I'm quite impressed.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] So... I'm going down there. Yeah, I told Robo that, cos you know er Andy and that that she's.
[Andy:] Oh they're all gonna deny it. I mean, yeah, we never knew that, my arse!
[Nick:] No I took James and that lot in, said oh did you?
[Monica:] Did you like her? You must have liked her?
[Nick:] A bit, yeah. Just a bit.
[Andy:] Yeah?
[Nick:] Oh yeah.
[Andy:] Oh.
[Monica:] She's quite pretty. She's tall, as tall as you int
[Nick:] She's
[Monica:] she?
[Nick:] No, she wasn't in fact. I mean she's actually
[Monica:] Nick likes them big.
[Nick:] Yes.
[Monica:] Bigger girls.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] He doesn't mind that either [].
[Nick:] No, I just
[Andy:] Sixty nine.
[Nick:] Sorry?
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]... Andy, how do you know? Well I dunno what the hell cos yo
[Andy:] I know all of them.
[Monica:] he's, you shouldn't know
[Nick:] You didn't know.
[Monica:] things like that. Oh yeah, you did a biology degree.
[Andy:] Yeah. You don't know what a sixty nine is do you?
[Nick:] It's just a number. [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] [singing] It's the magic number [].
[Nick:] [singing] It's the magic number [].
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] Yeah, well erm, I, I wouldn't a, ask Liza she'll tell you.
[Nick:] Oh thanks. [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]... You're so naive Nick.
[Nick:] I am, I am. No, I don't think I am actually.
[Monica:] I'm sure Harvey will tell you.
[Nick:] Oh yes! Here I, oh yes. Nobody
[Andy:] Grass stains. Well I can imagine Nick doing wheelbarrows.
[Nick:] No he
[Monica:] Wheelbarrows?
[Nick:] he sha
[Monica:] What's that?
[Nick:] he shagged her, he did shag her seriously.
[Andy:] Poor Nicky.
[Nick:] No, yeah, I know.
[Andy:] But it's the only way I could see, see him getting those grass stains by doing wheelbarrows.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] No. I don't know whether it's a trait all all over
[Monica:] Oh I
[Nick:] the ground, I, I mean
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] if it's a treat? Because it's a treat []?
[Nick:] With this thick green mark at his back
[Monica:] Oh! I thought you meant treat. I thought you said I don't know whether [LAUGHTER] it's a treat []
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] you falling [].
[Nick:] No, no, I've, d'ya know I
[Monica:] Hang on.
[Andy:] That is a?
[Nick:] No, no, no I
[Monica:] Did he ha, did he walk round with this big smile on his face?
[Nick:] No he was shocked. He was in a state of fucking
[Andy:] [clears throat]
[Nick:] shock. And I er
[Monica:] And, Nick asked him, that's right.
[Nick:] I I, I I, got, I told you, I told you. I, Mick told me, I thought no you didn't.
[Andy:] Sod you!
[Nick:] Hello er Mick, I just gotta ask you one question. I said did he take [LAUGHTER] precautions []?
[Monica:] And he did? Blimey!
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER] And he did []!
[Monica:] How monotonous.
[Nick:] Yeah, I said look you can have a condom. He said he, oh I had, I had one. In other words going out and buying some sort of, he had a plastic bag full.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]... Hey!
[Andy:] Coffee beans.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] Steady now!
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] I, I don't get the joke.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]... Are you gonna take Mary after you got in the second year? Andy went to see Mary. [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] It's a fair guess.
[Monica:] Is that what happened?
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] No? Did you not know about contraceptives?
[Nick:] No, no, no, no, no don't worry about them. [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] Ah no tell me now please.
[Nick:] No. No, don't.
[Andy:] Disgusting!
[Nick:] Disgusting.
[Monica:] What Nick just went disgusting? Tell me.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] Apparently he shagged Nicky, isn't that bad enough?
[Andy:] Well, would you?
[Monica:] No I wouldn't shag her.
[Andy:] How did, how in the hell did he go out with her and Christine not know. She probably thought he, Nick was out.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] What did he do?
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER] What's she doing here []?
[Monica:] I think she probably wants to leave it.
[Nick:] Mm.
[Monica:] I think it's frightening.
[Nick:] I di, Nick says, I said to Nick, I said I bet something happens at the Ball with Nicky. He goes... [whispering] yeah I think so [].
[Andy:] Didn't seem at all then did he?
[Nick:] No he wasn't then
[Monica:] Well that was a bit lustful then, just lust, no love, no love lost there.
[Andy:] Yeah. She just grabbed him and hen, then it happened.
[Monica:] No what happened with the plastic bag? Tell me.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] Tell me.
[Nick:] We shouldn't really have been, you never heard us talking to you.
[Monica:] No!
[Andy:] No, no, so
[Monica:] No!
[Andy:] oh you tell her.
[Nick:] I'm not saying anything.
[Andy:] No.
[Monica:] Oh Nick, go on.
[Nick:] Well I, I, no it's Andy's story, Andy's got it.
[Andy:] It's not my story.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] Yeah, you told me that story
[Monica:] Tell me now Andy.
[Nick:] when I was down there.
[Monica:] What, what?
[Nick:] What?
[Andy:] No the worse one is erm
[Nick:] No, it's just petty sort of
[Andy:] Do you sort of, I mean be truthful do you think Mick is is gay? Mm mm. Cos Nick, I remember Nick phoning us up the other day actually.
[Nick:] Yeah, I thought he was gay actually.
[Andy:] I don't give a shit
[Monica:] You truthful?
[Andy:] if he's gay or not, but lea, living with three fantastic women, who I think
[Nick:] Yeah I know. So you wish you were Nick then?
[Andy:] it's the other way round innit?
[Nick:] Hey! You little bugger! Hey girls! Do you wanna live with me?
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] Is he gay then Mick?
[Andy:] We, we don't know. Nick reckons he is. But what, what happened is... a guy called James
[Nick:] Yeah, Nick, Nick spreads stories that's what you're wishing for.
[Andy:] Well Nick, Nick, Nick phoned me up and said don't tell anybody... but within a week Jaz knew cos Nick had actually told Jaz. And Jaz actually said oh I heard that some bloke from your school is gay isn't he?
[Nick:] Yeah well Jaz... is spreading stories about Nick.
[Andy:] Er about Nick. So I suppose
[Monica:] So what has that got to do what Nick get up to?
[Andy:] Well no
[Nick:] Andy was best mates with Nick.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]... No. I wasn't.
[Nick:] And what did you get up to?
[Monica:] Yeah but did he ever any... inclination?
[Nick:] Oh they were in the same dormitory weren't you? Yo you and him were in the upper.
[Andy:] Yeah, and we were prefects then Nick, we had our own rooms, we weren't sleeping in the same bed or anything, you know,
[Nick:] Ah but you know you could have just done that little trick, you know.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]... What like you would have done Nick?
[Nick:] No! No, I'm sorry, no, no. No way!
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] No, no, no []!
[Nick:] Er, no thank you. Yes. [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Er Nick... what are you doing?
[Monica:] Come on, tell me about Nick.
[Andy:] It wasn't er you er er, that Dave crept into bed with?
[Nick:] Nah!
[Andy:] No? It wasn't?
[Monica:] Dave got into bed with? Oh yeah, I think Dave's
[Nick:] No.
[Monica:] a bit that way.
[Nick:] No.
[Andy:] Well wha, well what's this about Dave?
[Nick:] No, he used to sleep walk.
[Andy:] Dave?
[Nick:] Mm mm. No.
[Andy:] And get in bed with you?
[Nick:] No! Not the sorts, I didn't er, I've never heard that one before.
[Andy:] One of Nick's bullshit stories.
[Nick:] Yeah, I've never heard that one. Dave never used to sleep walk.
[Monica:] But does Nick,
[Andy:] That's what he says.
[Monica:] was little Nick when, porn er, porn king?
[Andy:] No he wasn't. We were just saying that.
[Nick:] He bloody was!
[Andy:] Well he did have some, but he we, but there were other people that got caught.
[Nick:] I've never seen so many! [LAUGHTER] Well then, well []
[Monica:] Where did he used to get them from? Did he Mum know?
[Nick:] He used to buy them. He used to buy them in Reading. He used to buy them in Reading.
[Andy:] He used to buy them?
[Nick:] Never used to buy them did he?
[Andy:] I've never had the gall to go and
[Nick:] Well no, I, I've never had the gall
[Andy:] buy them.
[Nick:] to buy them. Nick had the gall to go and buy them and then.
[Monica:] Good old Nick! That's what I say.
[Andy:] Just imagine the... old women
[Nick:] No
[Andy:] behind the counter.
[Nick:] He us, he used, [LAUGHTER] he used to confiscate as well right? And er, he
[Monica:] They'd keep them for themselves.
[Nick:] Yeah. [LAUGHTER]... Right no he
[Monica:] Good old Nick.
[Nick:] he dumped, he dumped them all.
[Monica:] At least he shows initiative.
[Nick:] He dumped them all when the on holiday. [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Initiative? I could see it, the little old woman in Smiths going, I know what you're like?
[Nick:] No, he used John Menzies from the, stations every time he goes there.
[Monica:] He used to tell you? It's just like he's proud of it.
[Nick:] Oh I dunno. You er
[Monica:] Oh anything like that kind of thing.
[Nick:] Used to get er... no.
[Monica:] I don't know what you two are moaning about? You've both got pictures of... half-naked women... draped around the living room, and their boobs everywhere. So, you can hardly moan about pornography.
[Nick:] No, it's not pornography
[Andy:] It's not pornography it's art.
[Nick:] it's art.
[Monica:] Oh oh.
[Nick:] Now come on, that is not pornography.
[Monica:] Alright. Okay then.
[Nick:] Well... as a restriction
[Andy:] It's fun though.
[Nick:] you have naked men on the walls, but no, but we don't care. Andy's gonna get... a naked man holding [LAUGHTER] [].
[Andy:] I might get in trouble for that one.
[Nick:] Ah! [LAUGHTER] Shame [].... So who's coming down on the eleventh or twelfth of November?
[Andy:] Lisa.
[Monica:] Lisa. Maybe her boyfriend, John.
[Nick:] Is this new pig?
[Monica:] No. No, no, no. No.
[Andy:] A pig?
[Monica:] A pig. [LAUGHTER]... No. Erm he's... aspiring to be a [LAUGHTER] fireman or something []. Erm... maybe Gabby and Janine. Of course Gabby definitely.
[Andy:] Oh well maybe that's why the police.
[Monica:] And maybe Gabby and Janine.
[Nick:] This sounds perfect. Everybody's is violent. Oh yeah, nice one.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]... Perfect.
[Nick:] Perfect people. Twelve inches at least.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] You mean you fancy one of them?
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]... I do
[Monica:] Oh well, I'll tell you what Andy.
[Nick:] Andy will to shag anything with a pulse... [LAUGHTER] as he says [].
[Andy:] I'll be safe.
[Monica:] No you wouldn't.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER] When he goes, I'll shag anything with a pulse [].
[Monica:] Erm, no you don't have to go about with them, Rebecca first. Cos I know why Becky's popular or not.
[Andy:] Well
[Monica:] Well, ooh no
[Nick:] Yeah, but you want to vet people do you?
[Monica:] Yes. I'll vet them for you.
[Nick:] [tut]. Ah.
[Monica:] Your mother's will appreciate it won't they?
[Nick:] Oh yes.
[Andy:] Yeah.
[Monica:] Actually be fun. Ooh no. Can't wait for one of you two brings a woman back. Ha ha!
[Nick:] Ha ha!
[Monica:] Oh Nick looks like he's gonna be waiting.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah [].
[Monica:] You alright Andy? You tired?
[Andy:] I'm tired.
[Monica:] Not surprised. Got that?
[Andy:] No, just cos
[Nick:] Mm mm.
[Andy:] cos Chris off, so the apprentice girl didn't know anything. Got to meet Andy's bird.
[Monica:] Oh. [LAUGHTER]... Missed a complete argument, started with.
[Andy:] What's he doing??
[Nick:] Yeah, I'm doing it.
[Andy:] I've got
[Monica:] Mm mm.
[Andy:] I bet this, well first of all this is going, going to Colin and saying where's my dinner?
[Nick:] Well you nearly lost that then?
[Andy:] No, missed, missed that again. We'll go no fucking way
[Nick:] No!
[Andy:] cos you won't expect it.
[Nick:] Yeah, that's true.
[Monica:] Jason will die.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]... I bet the first thing she says... hello lovey! Or something like that. [mimicking] Hello darlings []!
[Monica:] Ah! I bet she do n't. Sh, it's been quiet. I've had no one to tell my problems to.
[Andy:] [tut]. Ah! Tell Nick them.
[Monica:] No. I'm bored.
[Nick:] Mm, well I think
[Monica:] [humming]
[Nick:] How old's Wendy? [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Bastard! You swinehunt Nick!
[Monica:] I haven't done any work this afternoon... yet. Oh no!
[Andy:] We had to do a three hour
[Nick:] Oh God!
[Andy:] mainly because of that.
[Monica:] [humming]
[Andy:] Cos it's sort of kiddies' activity, they sort of stand there with lots of different pro, things we do with kids.
[Monica:] Is it good?
[Andy:] Yeah.
[Monica:] Find the treasure?
[Andy:] We did indeed! Yeah. But
[Monica:] It's an easy life innit? Being on heritage. Poor thing.
[Nick:] Probably is.
[Andy:] Yeah, well I got an essay to write for this work now.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] A whole essay?
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] A whole essay.
[Nick:] Or, gotta get pissed.
[Andy:] No, it's not an easy life believe me.
[Nick:] But thing, things that... you should be doing but... bit too early to be... start doing. But there is communications point as well.
[Andy:] Yeah. I've got G C S E in geography.
[Nick:] [mimicking] Oh []!
[Monica:] Did you ge, ah no! You didn't do new geography did you?
[Nick:] No! No!
[Andy:] Yeah.
[Nick:] Dave, he's... remember that, remember that pictures of his wife and
[Andy:] I dunno. That must be really bad. Good God!
[Monica:] What lecturer?
[Nick:] Eh?
[Andy:] No. No. He was a teacher. He was Amateur Photographer of the Year... for about two years running.
[Monica:] Took pictures of his wife?
[Nick:] No!
[Monica:] What in uncompromising positions.
[Andy:] Well that's what people used to say.
[Monica:] Oh!
[Andy:] No, no evidence.
[Monica:] Mere gossip. Yes.
[Andy:] Mere gossip.
[Monica:] I see.
[Andy:] He was quite good.
[Nick:] This place actually makes the quite nice.... It's all, it's all so eighteenth century landscape.
[Andy:] Oh! Not that bad actually. That's alright.
[Nick:] Yeah, I know who
[Monica:] Yep.
[Nick:] that is.
[Monica:] Mm. My concentrated butter sauce that makes them so
[Andy:] Oh no, you didn't get the butter sauce did you?
[Nick:] Oh that's really
[Monica:] Yeah.
[Nick:] nice.
[Andy:] That's horrible!
[Monica:] Place the little bag into boiling water, the pan, bring to the boil, continue for boiling for twen, ooh, I better hurry up. Yeah.
[Nick:] What do you want for, what do we want... this evening? Shall we go in Tesco's?
[Monica:] What do you want?
[Andy:] What do you, what do you want?
[Nick:] I'd like red
[Monica:] [singing] Up, down []!
[Nick:] well you know what... and red peppers
[Andy:] [mimicking] Oh! Oh! Red []
[Nick:] carrots.
[Andy:] [mimicking] oh oh, oh ya [].
[Nick:] Ah um... I, I had spaghetti bolognaise and er... I ha, and I had... this cheese thing last night. So er
[Monica:] [mimicking] So er []
[Nick:] Yeah.
[Monica:] [mimicking] fucking common he is ain't he [].
[Nick:] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Andy:] Darling!
[Nick:] Alright! Alright.
[Monica:] Bon, bonsai darling. Bonsai.
[Nick:] Bonsai.
[Monica:] Erm... I'm going to adapt my little dinner today cos
[Andy:] Woo ooh!
[Monica:] I have to adapt it every day. Otherwise we're wasting
[Nick:] We ain't even got burgers in tonight. I give you
[Monica:] One beefburger! One beefburger!
[Andy:] One beefburger!
[Nick:] I'll give you twenty pounds if you lose twenty six pounds and that
[Monica:] Oh! Fourteen. I wa I won't even start
[Andy:] Is this the new magazine diet?
[Nick:] Oh, it's gone down now?
[Monica:] Yeah.
[Nick:] It started at twenty six.
[Andy:] Ah ah!
[Monica:] Yeah the doctor said while you're
[Andy:] Was it in Cosmo?
[Monica:] No.
[Andy:] Oh!
[Monica:] said only half a stone actually.
[Andy:] And you know all this stuff that's complete bullshit!
[Nick:] Ah! I get it now. Cos you only wanna lose half as much you're eating twice as much as we said?
[Monica:] Something like that, yes.
[Nick:] Oh erm... talking about Alan on the radio, you know all this shit... all about feminist age and, he asked us
[Monica:] How much rice are you supposed to have for one person?
[Nick:] Well I don't know.
[Monica:] Half a cup or... well I'm asking you! Andy knows, he knows what's what.
[Andy:] Just keep the water boiling.
[Nick:] Yes. He's a man of the world is Andy.
[Monica:] Right. Half a cup
[Andy:] Yeah, but I know my rice.
[Nick:] You know your rice?
[Andy:] I do.
[Nick:] You do.
[Andy:] [sniff]... I know my pasta as well.
[Nick:] Oh right. Super!
[Monica:] [yawning] Oh oh oh oh [].
[Andy:] [singing] When []
[Monica:] We
[Nick:] Bugger!
[Monica:] Bugger, bugger.
[Andy:] Bugger! Go on, urgh!
[Nick:] Bugger.
[Andy:] You're a factory mate, you're a factory lad.
[Nick:] A what?
[Andy:] Like when Liza dropped one of the fridges on the floor, everybody used to go Wurgh! Urgh! Hey eh!
[Nick:] Wurgh urgh!
[Monica:] You did, didn't you? I know I was... when I worked in fruit packing, it's like someone drops an orange, Urgh urgh urgh!
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] [cheering] Ner er er []!
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] Oh dreadful! [tut].
[Andy:] No we used to do it.
[Nick:] Remember that in Kent.
[Andy:] We, remember we used to do it at Darren. We went
[Monica:] This
[Andy:] Wahey hey hey!
[Monica:] Andy.
[Andy:] And put him straight in the.
[Nick:] No I'm sorry but they really were like that when I went to Kent.
[Andy:] What? [mimicking] Alright love! Alright! Cor blimey! Got a fat head mate. Alright []!
[Nick:] No, gotta speak Essex.
[Andy:] And all of the Indians in Slough say innit? Innit! It's every second word.
[Nick:] Hello, innit! [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] They say that, hello, innit. Seventy P please, innit?... I was, innit?
[Nick:] Actually does.
[Monica:] You messed that up didn't you?
[Nick:] How's that? [mimicking] Alright! Alright! You'd like some, innit?
[Andy:] So easy.
[Nick:] Naughty! Naughty, very naughty.
[Andy:] Naughty, very is that the er remix of Ebonezer Good?
[Nick:] No.
[Andy:] It's so funny!
[Nick:] Got some opera singers there going [mimicking] [singing] er er Ebonezer Good, Ebonezer Good [] [].
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] Oh it's not []?
[Nick:] Have you heard, have you heard the duet between Bono and
[Andy:] She's not coming?
[Nick:] er er... singing
[Andy:] No?
[Nick:] Have you heard that? Your Saviour.
[Andy:] What?
[Nick:] Have you heard that erm... er... Frank Sinatra and Bono have done this duet together.
[Andy:] Is it really naff?
[Nick:] Oh my, it's just the naffest! Some of those pieces out of those U two singles I thought were brilliant! But yo
[Andy:] Thanks a lot. Is that Bono?
[Nick:] Yeah. Is it crap! You should hear it, it's so funny!
[Andy:] I've heard that somewhere before. Somebody was talking about that.
[Nick:] It was on the radio on Sunday.
[Andy:] Yeah. Yeah.
[Nick:] Nicky Campbell on Sunday on the radio was talking about
[Andy:] Nicky Campbell?
[Nick:] Yeah.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER]... Yeah.
[Andy:] Yeah. I've think I listened to that already.
[Monica:] Mm mm. [humming]
[Nick:] Good old Nicky.
[Andy:] Do you, do you listen to Nicky Campbell?
[Nick:] Eh?
[Andy:] Do you listen to Nicky Campbell?
[Nick:] I, I find the women are the best. The only blokes I like is Chris Tarrant... he's quite good.
[Andy:] Nicky's Campbell's a bloke.
[Nick:] Nicky Campbell [LAUGHTER] is not a bloke []!
[Andy:] He is! Nicky Campbell? Is he a bloke?
[Nick:] He's on Radio One in the evenings and he does... he does the afternoon, he does D L T's Sunday morning slot now because he
[Andy:] Well who are the two women?
[Nick:] Oh erm... [tut].
[Andy:] There aren't any women.
[Nick:] erm... ba la la la... oh erm
[Andy:] Cos they're.
[Monica:] Oh, Carol
[Nick:] No!
[Andy:] [singing] Oh Carolina! Ba la []!
[Nick:] [singing] Ba la []! Erm... I, I like erm... I love that erm... thing... erm... [singing] boom shack a []
[Monica:] You're coming out!
[Nick:] [singing] la []. It's good.
[Andy:] Boom shack a la?
[Nick:] Boom shack a la!
[Monica:] cook about twenty minutes.
[Nick:] [mimicking] [singing] Ya ee girl, shack a la! Have you heard that one before?
[Andy:] Well I'm not a big fan of Apache Indian.
[Nick:] Oh it's well that's actually
[Monica:] Reggae.
[Nick:] Apache Indian
[Monica:] Where's?
[Nick:] Don't ask me.
[Monica:] Yeah.
[Andy:] Not me.
[Nick:] Not me. [sniff]... I know who it was.
[Andy:] Could it have been Liza?
[Nick:] Yeah. Yeah it was Liza. God damn woman! Tesco's?
[Andy:] Oh God! I'm gonna miss Neighbours! The end of.
[Nick:] Unless you want ten pounds?
[Monica:] I'll turn it off alright?
[Andy:] Tell us what happened to the?
[Monica:] Ooh!
[Nick:] Oh! That's what
[Andy:] I saw that!
[Nick:] You may watch it in my room on my
[Andy:] Really?
[Nick:] twenty one inch F M, T T V
[Andy:] I borrowed, I borrowed it to watch EastEnders last night.
[Monica:] Gotta be very good.
[Andy:] Recorded that.
[Nick:] Just that I haven't been
[Monica:] Mark.
[Nick:] Ya.
[Monica:] You know why cos, shit I'm not having that. [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] That's the sauce though.
[Andy:] Surely you need
[Monica:] Why?
[Andy:] to be doing some exercises you know, to
[Monica:] Yeah. Probably wondered why... the last two anniversaries was when I was in college. And sweet corn.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nick:] You don't care?
[Monica:] I'm not
[Nick:] I've not shagged any one for two years so you said that
[Monica:] You don't do that Nick do you?
[Nick:] Well I just heard it on the radio, we're all... I don't really know. Just a slapper she is.
[Andy:] Ooh ooh!
[Monica:] Cher?
[Nick:] Cher, yeah. Fucking slapper! [LAUGHTER]... Slapper.
[Andy:] Ha!
[Nick:] Slapper.
[Andy:] Yeah.
[Nick:] Slapper.
[Andy:] Slaphead.
[Nick:] Oh whatever! She's one of those.
[Monica:] Are you going to Tesco's?
[Nick:] Yeah.
[Andy:] Yeah.
[Monica:] See you later!
[Nick:] Bye-bye.... to Paris and... you know, erm the artwork's really effective I mean
[Monica:] I completely buggered up my dinner!
[Nick:] Sorry?
[Monica:] I messed up my dinner.
[Nick:] Oh God!
[Monica:] Oh.
[Nick:] Oh my God!
[Monica:] My rice. My rice is burnt.
[Andy:] Alright.
[Monica:] I daren't put any more water in.
[Andy:] Just stick to the one.
[Monica:] Yeah.
[Andy:] Alright? Bloody hell!
[Nick:] What happened to the rice?
[Monica:] Dunno. I kept putting more water in and it got so full.
[Nick:] Don't know. That was filled
[Monica:] Do you want this?
[Nick:] with water.
[Monica:] No, I didn't know.
[Nick:] Oh.
[Andy:] Is this the ring for the rice?
[Monica:] Yeah, I just dumped it all. I just put all together. I don't know.
[Nick:] Well yeah, you cooked it too much.
[Monica:] Doesn't matter.
[Nick:] That's why it smells awful.
[Monica:] Guess this will have to do. Oh oh.
[Nick:] That's, I dunno why, I hate rice because it... if you cook it too much it smells like it's come out of a... a
[Monica:] Mm.
[Nick:] a sewer.
[Monica:] Oh well.
[Andy:] Right.
[Monica:] Well I
[Andy:] Can I get... can I get on there with.
[Monica:] I'll be, I'll be finishing. I'll just wash these things up while I'm here.
[Nick:] No, no, we're having... tomato, onion and mixed herbs, sauce... with... minced beef... it's not the lean stuff, it's just the really cheap stuff really.
[Andy:] I'm not bothered.
[Nick:] Cheapest stuff they got. Ah ah! I've got really bad acid.
[Monica:] [singing] Acid []!
[Nick:] We got some cake.
[Monica:] Mhm.
[Andy:] It's good.
[Nick:] Trumpton... Oh hate
[Andy:] Oh
[Nick:] that.
[Andy:] Ya. Five, four Trumpton.
[Nick:] Trumpton!
[Andy:] How d'ya cook?
[Nick:] And the essentials for a week. You know.
[Monica:] What did you buy Andy?
[Andy:] Have to get that special savoury rice.... Ooh pardon!
[Monica:] No.
[Nick:] Did you cheap, I'm looking for a job in there.
[Monica:] Oh well
[Nick:] I know you've just started. I might work something out when Liza comes home. Yeah let's go on that. Work there so we can all be dead.
[Monica:] I found that I was spending money every day.
[Nick:] Well it's true.
[Andy:] Shall we do the pizza?
[Monica:] Yeah.
[Nick:] What? At least, properly, but I I mean, I'm buying nearly ev, nearly every day cos I don't you know, shop every week, beginning of the week which I should do. I suppose. Cos then it'll be cheaper.... Like, I shouldn't have bought that book so I spent nearly, I could spend ten quid a week easily. Well I
[Andy:] Yeah, but you're loaded. Ten quid means nothing to you.
[Nick:] No it doesn't. Absolutely nothing! Have all the saucepans been used?
[Monica:] Yeah, I'm just gonna wash them. Hang on.
[Nick:] Well I've gotta find the er... [singing] doo doo, doo dee doo []....! You can see if you can do the garlic bread Andy, Andy now.
[Andy:] What?
[Nick:] You can do the garlic bread.
[Monica:] Oh blimey!
[Andy:] Oh oh, oh oh.
[Nick:] Oh you've gotta be kidding? This is like.
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] the chef can't even make garlic butter on a slice of toast.
[Monica:] Oh.
[Nick:] Still got your migraine?
[Andy:] Yeah.
[Monica:] Crunchy nuts!
[Andy:] I don't know how to do it.
[Nick:] What? Garlic bread?
[Andy:] Yeah, well I
[Nick:] Taste.
[Andy:] mean I usually like, you know, french bread... bit of foil
[Nick:] Yeah. Got any foil? You can't use foil on this bread anyway.
[Andy:] Yeah.
[Monica:] Ah. Only I could so much.
[Andy:] So er... once you put the butter on and then it toast it, yeah?
[Nick:] Mm. Put the butter and stick it under the grill.
[Andy:] Mm.
[Nick:] And let it soak in.
[Andy:] What, and I let the bread... go a bit toasted first then
[Nick:] Yeah.
[Andy:] put it on? Oh it... I don't think you actually gotta cook the things.
[Nick:] Ah yeah.... Well, well.... come on tell us, where you going?
[Monica:] I'm just gonna wash these up if you feel that way. I'll just the wash the in here.
[Nick:] Okay. [singing], doo doo, doo doo.... Doo doo doo doo doo doo [].
[Monica:] Where did I put the
[Andy:] Here. I will wash up.
[Monica:] I can't see the
[Andy:] Your mountain of things [LAUGHTER] []. Oh dear.... Diet, did somebody say diet?
[Monica:] Well, I'm just taking things that are bad for me.
[Nick:] Oh it's not really a diet then? And I
[Monica:] No.
[Nick:] thought
[Andy:] More health conscious than er
[Monica:] I'm eating lots more fruit and I love fish, I love fish as well.
[Andy:] Mm, well I haven't had fish for a long time.
[Monica:] Oh!
[Nick:] How do they manage to sell so much fish? I don't think anybody really likes fish. How much was a?
[Monica:] My Mum does.
[Andy:] It's three ten isn't it, didn't you say?
[Nick:] Three fifty.
[Andy:] No, you got a
[Nick:] Course your parents always like fish, but I think they're just lying. They're lucky Rose used to say.
[Monica:] How man saucepans do you need
[Nick:] They just say they like it.
[Monica:] Nick?
[Nick:] Mm?
[Monica:] How many saucepans do you need?
[Andy:] Five.
[Nick:] Er, just the one.
[Monica:] Just one? Right I can't do them now cos my potatoes.
[Nick:] Ju, I'll just have that one.
[Andy:] No, no, no.
[Monica:] That's not playing. Oh!
[Nick:] Er
[Monica:] .
[Nick:] Andy said he'll do it.
[Andy:] I'll do it.
[Monica:] Well if you do it now, but I'll clear up when you've finished yeah? Oh well.
[Andy:] This' ll take a while to brown anyway.
[Monica:] The bottom's all stuck! Oh my God! [tut]. Just want one for your pasta, yeah?
[Andy:] Pasty? Are we having pasties?
[Nick:] No! We're not.
[Monica:] What are you having?
[Andy:] [singing] Da da da []! What about I do the mince piece after him. Want me to make you one?
[Nick:] Cos I can't breathe.
[Monica:] You can ask for that.
[Nick:] Well I... feel like. Meat, meat is fifty P... fifty six P.
[Andy:] Fifty two.
[Nick:] Fifty two P. Cost nothing cos there was no way I
[Andy:] That was sixty five.
[Nick:] .
[Andy:] And er
[Monica:] You take pound coins.
[Andy:] [singing] Ba ba, boo boo boo [].
[Nick:] Well I'll chuck in a bit more, I'll chuck in a little bit more pepper.
[Monica:] I'll wash up, we'll wash up later, but I'm just making my dinner so
[Andy:] Yeah, just leave it, you know. Leave it. Just like that.
[Monica:] Yep.... I.
[Andy:] [singing] Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo []. The garlic bread is ready.
[Nick:] I could, I could, I could just chuck a saucepan here couldn't I?
[Andy:] What?
[Monica:] Yeah. I suppose so.
[Andy:] Yeah, just chuck the saucepan.
[Nick:] How you gonna do it though, cos I saw Cath doing it the week before and Cath... oh yeah she did.
[Andy:] You just chuck it all in.
[Monica:] Oh! Very nice.
[Andy:] Then just boil it.
[Nick:] So you have to put some water in there, yeah?
[Monica:] Nick, I'll be up in my room.
[Nick:] Yeah. Don't worry
[Monica:] Can I... it's alright, cos I wanna get
[Nick:] See ya. Erm... you just put
[Monica:] Yep.
[Nick:] the water
[Andy:] I would stick it in now.
[Nick:] boil it. You've gotta put milk in it, it's gotta have... three quarters of a pint of milk.
[Monica:] Blimey!
[Andy:] That'll curdle won't it?
[Nick:] No!
[Andy:] No? How do these things, does it turn into sauce? It's got sauce in it?
[Monica:] He's getting it all over!
[Andy:] Yes boss. This is the chef who try and burn the rice.
[Monica:] Half six it started. Tell you what, I keep going
[Andy:] Hold up.
[Monica:] That's alright.
[Andy:] If you wanna lo, if you wanna lose some... go... just go swimming or do something
[Monica:] Well this is healthier eating.
[Andy:] energetic. Yeah, well go and get healthier generally. Just don't
[Nick:] That's why she's on a diet! Cos she doesn't
[Andy:] Or then ju
[Nick:] want to go swimming.
[Monica:] What's he like? Stupid git! Greasy.
[Nick:] It is, it's cos it's all fat and butter.
[Andy:] Use that, use... that dried semi-skimmed though.
[Monica:] Right.
[Nick:] No.... Who buys full fat milk?
[Monica:] Beg your pardon?
[Andy:] Me.
[Nick:] Yeah.
[Monica:] Do you?
[Andy:] Mm. I don't like skimmed.
[Monica:] That's just a disgrace.
[Nick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Andy:] Shut up!
[Monica:] You can't have mine in tea and coffee. I notice if someone gives me full cream like in cereal and I just think, I won't eat. Otherwise you don't notice it.
[Andy:] No. But... that is dreadful skimmed milk.
[Monica:] Makes me sick.... Oh it tastes alright. That looks healthy. It's gone. It's got bones in it. That's why I
[Andy:] Oh aye.
[Monica:] don't like fish, it's got bones in. My ratatouille. It's not really ratatouille is it?
[Andy:] Yes it is.
[Monica:] It's all good vegetables for you. I'll make the veg if want though.
[Nick:] No it's alright.
[Andy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Monica:] Looking at everything,a eating and dried apricots, prunes and I'm just going... so you eat it and as much as it's
[Andy:] Which is target in the bathroom?
[Nick:] Now you want me to do in here? Do you think I should do it here or just put it
[Andy:] Yeah just
[Nick:] in the saucepan?
[Andy:] No, just bung it in there. Oh I dunno actually, will it fit?
[Nick:] Yeah, it will. I mean, three quarters of a pint, I mean... will fit in here.
[Andy:] Bung it in then. Try draining
[Nick:] Dunno.
[Andy:] some of the... and is it, is it the lean, lean mince please?
[Nick:] Doesn't matter. It's supposed to be in there, and th, that'll keep the pasta apart. As Kenny will tell you to put some olive oil in your pasta.
[Andy:] Yeah. As we do. Yeah, that's it.
[Nick:] Oddly enough, it's working.
[Monica:] Well he knows everything.
[Nick:] Ah?
[Monica:] Knows everything.
[Nick:] Who? And he does.
[Andy:] Well, he's good like him.
[Monica:] [LAUGHTER] No [].
[Nick:] He's God!
[Andy:] I think this bread turned a bit late actually. Kenny sa
[Nick:] I know, you got a lot more than I need and look at me.
[Monica:] Mm.
[Nick:] [reading] Lying corpse in blood [].
[Monica:] Really?