[Sheila:] Goes...
[Colin:] Sure you don't want to go badminton, mm, ah?
[Sheila:] No
[Colin:] No
[Sheila:] it's too muddy out
[Colin:] No it's not... ah, when? Where?
[Sheila:] It might...
[Colin:] where?... it's hot
[Sheila:] Erm have a bath
[Colin:] there are what's this for?... come on yeah yeah it will, ah?... No
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] what, what's that? Do what? What's that? Oh, what do you mean?... eh? What do you mean?
[speaker003:] ...
[Sheila:] If you like, ain't you got none?
[Neil:] I only want ten
[Sheila:] I ain't got that many what?
[Neil:] Can you lend us
[Sheila:] no I haven't got any money
[Neil:] er... done a hole there, it's not even going through the hole
[Sheila:] turn that handle, see you later then
[Neil:] No I want a pound, lends us a pound Jo
[Joanne:] No
[Neil:] Yeah
[Joanne:] No
[Neil:] Yeah
[Joanne:] I haven't got a pound on me
[Neil:] Show us... can you lend us a pound?
[Joanne:] No
[Neil:] Please
[Joanne:] No
[Neil:] Please
[Joanne:] I haven't got any money Neil, I just told you
[Neil:] Ah? it's not my fault
[Joanne:] It's not mine either
[Neil:] Just give me your change then
[Joanne:] I haven't got any change...
[Neil:] Well, how, your coppers, you must have a pound tucked away somewhere mum, mum
[Sheila:] Have a game of something Neil, then you won't have to go into town will you?
[Neil:] Not staying here with you... just because you're bored I ain't
[Sheila:] I'm not bored
[speaker003:] ...
[Neil:] Eh?... Shut up parrot... me a pound after what I've just done for you out there
[Joanne:] Oh wowee
[Neil:] I didn't have to help you
[Joanne:] No you didn't, but you did
[Neil:] er how often has it not
[Joanne:] You won't get any money, go away
[Neil:] I only want one pound
[Joanne:] Why?
[Neil:] Cos I don't
[Joanne:] For fags?
[Neil:] How often is it that I have asked you for money?
[Joanne:] Never, but you don't usually get any from me that's why you've never asked.
[Neil:] I, I I don't normally ask you anyway
[Joanne:] Well what, what do you want it for?
[Neil:] Please sis
[Joanne:] No I won't
[Neil:] Please sis
[Joanne:] No I haven't got any change
[Neil:] Yes you have
[Joanne:] Look in my purse, I haven't got any money
[Neil:] Please sis
[Joanne:] Oh Neil
[Neil:] [LAUGHTER] Please, I'm, come on
[Joanne:] I've not got any money
[Neil:] Not even a fifty P?
[Joanne:] No cos I used that to go to
[Neil:] oh come on you must have some change
[Joanne:] to be
[Neil:] Or not to be, oh no come on sis
[Joanne:] No
[Neil:] I'll do anything [LAUGHTER] please I, I
[Joanne:] You, you clean my black boots for me, polish my black boots for me and I give you a quid
[Neil:] When I come back
[Joanne:] No, no you do it now or you don't get your pound
[Neil:] What these ones?
[Joanne:] Yeah
[Neil:] Alright then... I tell you something if I clean these and I don't get that pound
[Joanne:] Yes you will, you'll definitely get a pound
[Neil:] If I clean these and I don't get a pound these are going in the pond
[Joanne:] I promise you a pound if you
[Neil:] and then they walk in the bin so I suggest you don't give me any hassle
[Joanne:] Oh I'll give you, I'll give you a pound don't worry, make sure you do the job properly, mm... you'd better do it outside, cos the er, the boot polish don't go on the carpet.
[Neil:] ah look at this mum... look I'm wiping for a pound
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER] Alright
[Joanne:] if I can see my face in them you, you might have a tip
[Neil:] See you've got your purse in your bag you better give me the money...
[Sheila:] Why wait in the car breaker, breaker
[Neil:] No
[Sheila:] come round
[speaker003:] ......
[Neil:] See he does it with my voice.... Now your at home
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Yeah...
[Sheila:] innit?
[Colin:] No, no, like you, like you say is any one tape the first tape you fill in it
[Sheila:] No but I mean you've got to fill in after all this?
[Colin:] Yeah I
[Sheila:] what's that bit stuck on what's, what's all that off?
[Neil:] It's his hairstyle
[Sheila:] are you sure you turned that bleeding kettle off?
[Neil:] I have
[Sheila:] Well why's it still steaming then?
[Neil:] Cos it's hot
[Sheila:] And the frying pan... not really I think the taste is distorted or something
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER]
[Colin:] The taste gone wrong, erm, what you want? What shall I put? Which part, how do I write
[Sheila:] erm
[Colin:] is the alphabetic
[Sheila:] yeah
[Neil:] What? Is Derrick about?
[Sheila:] Oh Derrick and Jo went up to London today I don't know something to do with erm sports I suppose well, or some entertainment I suppose
[Neil:] Yum yum it's like
[Sheila:] I suppose yesterday and it's worse, worse today than when I done it yesterday...
[Neil:] Got a... sports thing yet?
[Sheila:] No, where's, where's that then?
[Neil:] Go and pump, pump some weights today
[Sheila:] You can go and do that can't you?, No don't you?
[Neil:] How can I do it, I've got to get in the building first...
[Sheila:] Old Shaun name's on the old run machine today yeah
[Neil:] That won't last will it?
[Sheila:] Mm, no...
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER] Sheila a housekeeper, Colin a Neil unemployed, bird a pain in the butt [LAUGHTER], what sex is he anyway?
[Sheila:] What?
[Colin:] Is it male or female?
[Neil:] Female
[Sheila:] Female
[speaker003:] ......
[Colin:] country no...
[Neil:] Do you want one?
[Sheila:] No thank you, have your shorts on then?
[speaker003:] ...
[Sheila:] I suppose sometimes they tape and there's nothing on there at all
[Colin:] Good oh
[Sheila:] the tapes
[Colin:] What's that then?
[Sheila:] got to erase forty five minutes before anyone says anything I suppose...
[speaker003:] ...
[Neil:] What?...
[Colin:] Trying to think what to put down your relationship here [LAUGHTER]
[Sheila:] Whose?
[Colin:] His
[Sheila:] Oh
[Colin:] The bird... cor, better
[Sheila:] oh yes
[Neil:] God don't start him off again
[Colin:] Pretty boy... oh [whistling]...
[Neil:] Can do with some fags
[Sheila:] Pardon?
[Neil:] Can do with some fags
[Colin:] Oh, tell them a joke here
[Sheila:] Pardon?
[Colin:] Tell them
[Sheila:] yeah performance today, yeah, what's on down there?
[Neil:] Ten pin bowling
[Colin:] Who give you that?
[Sheila:] Post
[Neil:] By post
[Sheila:] through the post
[Neil:] you or something
[Sheila:] Mind you save five pounds... Wet Wet's they've sold out... Geoff and er Trevor's off to see him ain't he?
[Neil:] His mum got him tickets
[Sheila:] Oh well
[Neil:] Wet Wet Wet, not Wet Wet
[Sheila:] try and make then laugh I suppose oh did he?
[Neil:] Yeah
[speaker003:] ...
[Sheila:] They seem so
[Colin:] who?
[Sheila:] Trevor
[Colin:] come back before the end of March I think
[Sheila:] Yeah well she said in the letter didn't she
[Colin:] Yeah
[Sheila:] she was coming back home and out again, did Tony have a letter from her?
[Colin:] No
[Neil:] [yawn] Oh dear...
[Colin:] have a nice kip, it's, it's
[Neil:] mm?...
[Colin:] come down, is that a yes?
[Neil:] Ah...
[Colin:] I suppose Nigel
[Neil:] I told you everyone's coming
[Colin:] No you didn't, you
[Sheila:] I don't know
[Neil:] I think he's putting one there, one out, one there, one there, one outside that door
[Sheila:] You can't we've only got two lights here
[Neil:] Yeah I think he, I think he's, I've explained like everything, we're just paying the money for it that is all
[Sheila:] Oh is that what he said?
[Neil:] Yeah
[Sheila:] Oh
[Neil:] he's putting one outside that door, one outside that one, one out the front and
[Colin:] Yeah because you, you mentioned you wanted one out there didn't you, cos
[Neil:] and wanted a light switch there
[Colin:] actually I want get one get one of the extension you know it's
[Neil:] What it is, is that anything is likely to come on
[Sheila:] Yes, yes I know, I've heard it jumping about ain't he?
[Colin:] Who?
[Sheila:] Him it come on
[speaker003:] ...
[Sheila:] I might ask if he can put one of those things in the bathroom
[Colin:] What's that then?
[Sheila:] hands, get all the steam out...
[Neil:] What an extractor fan?
[Sheila:] That's it, that's the word
[speaker003:] ...
[Sheila:] Cos when you have a bath all the, you know, put the fan on and all the steam'll go out, rather cling to the walls and that.
[Colin:] Like a sauna in there when you have a shower
[speaker003:] ...
[Sheila:] I suppose he knows what he's doing be a bit of drilling I suppose won't it?
[Neil:] All they have to do is drill there... well he won't do no drilling
[Colin:] He will
[Neil:] Why?
[Colin:] He's gonna have to drill
[Neil:] Oh yeah, put the cables through won't he?
[Colin:] Mm and that one there, and oh...
[Sheila:] I
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] That'll
[Sheila:] is there any water in it? what was?
[Neil:] comes off
[Sheila:] Yeah that's what I said to you didn't I?
[Neil:] Only when I take them off Danny, Danny come up over my socks no one 's asking you are they?...
[Colin:] [yawning] Oh god []...
[Sheila:] Cor strewth
[Neil:] See even now mum you can't see when you're doing the washing up...
[Colin:] I suppose your
[Neil:] finished early yesterday
[Joanne:] Pardon, what did you say Neil?
[Neil:] I thought Darren was meant to finish early yesterday...
[speaker003:] ...
[Joanne:] Eh?...
[speaker003:] ......
[Joanne:] what colour is that then?
[Neil:] Er
[Joanne:] oh, see you later...
[Colin:] [singing] Baby []
[Sheila:] Alright, alright
[Colin:] Hold on a minute there darling
[Sheila:] I thought you'd done it before
[Colin:] Oh yeah this is a...
[Sheila:] Has Daniel down there?
[Colin:] Would he hell said he was
[Sheila:] I went this morning I said enjoyed your weekend then, she said oh yeah, I said how's Daniel then? Daniel she says, Danny weren't there I said well Jean said, she said well Jean wouldn't know him if he come and sat on her lap [LAUGHTER] so she said no he weren't there, said erm I used to go down there, she said she was very good.
[Colin:] Yeah
[Sheila:] and erm
[Colin:] No see what's happened you see, that's gotta go
[Sheila:] young bloke was down there, she said it was a good weekend really, she said they took their own drink.
[Colin:] Yeah they took their own drink at the bar there
[Sheila:] She said I reckon we saved er fifty pound she said
[Colin:] Yeah, that's er
[Sheila:] I think it went like that before and you fixed it in the
[Colin:] No I can't cos I, I can't screw it in there, that's sitting there look see, see that, that in there look, if I can get that out I'll be able to see if I can get that out love
[Sheila:] I
[Colin:] no I can't, no not there
[Sheila:] Let's have it then
[Colin:] No, no you can't love, because
[Sheila:] We've done it at work
[Colin:] Go on then... that is the same thickness as that in there, that is
[Sheila:] What's that there then?
[Colin:] That's what that, that's come off there that has
[Sheila:] Well you pull it out don't you?
[Colin:] Go on then you try and pull it out of us, that's what I'm trying to do look...
[Sheila:] you want a pair of pliers do you?...
[Colin:] Have then, it's harder than what you think it is this
[Sheila:] Ah?
[Colin:] It's harder than what you think it is this...
[Sheila:] Oh, I wonder why this was
[Colin:] yeah
[Sheila:] I suppose that's why it went, sucking it up properly... I suppose she had it riding up had a tug at it and that's what rips it I suppose
[Colin:] Yeah...
[Sheila:] I'll get you a pair of pliers?
[Colin:] You can get, you can get, you can get whatever you like darling, but you won't get that in there pliers, you won't get that in there, what I'll try and do is get a
[speaker003:] ...
[Sheila:] What about cut through, what do you reckon?
[Colin:] Well
[Sheila:] With that, let's have a go
[speaker003:] ...
[Sheila:] Want a cup of tea? I suppose you've been whistling today
[Colin:] No...
[Sheila:] Well we'll have to do upstairs, hoover that much longer
[Colin:] Why's that then?
[Sheila:] Oh cos when I've been doing it has been up there nattering, it's been noticed, so Norren come up to me today and she said oh er you don't have to do upstairs she said, give it a couple of weeks she said and you won't have to do it any more
[Colin:] Why's that then?
[Sheila:] so I said well why's that then Norren? I've got used to doing it now, you know?
[Colin:] Yeah
[Sheila:] Well she said she's got a lot of scrubs to do and all that business
[Colin:] Yeah
[Sheila:] so she said while you've been doing that she said she's been sort of gassing to anybody you know, so she said it's been mentioned by management and they said oh well she'll be able to sort of hovering while she stood there you know, time, time to natter she could be erm, got time to do that. yeah... so I said oh I see, so that was that, so I think they've got a, a meeting in a couple of weeks and they'll sort of tell her discreetly that she has to carry on and do it what she's been the time sort of thing you know, so, said it's been noticed that like and all that you know?
[Colin:] Yeah
[Sheila:] But erm, you know, get it's got to be scrubbed more often so you know
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Normally that is the same thickness as what this I think... can you hold that dear?
[Sheila:] I'm surprised Joy didn't say something about it yesterday actually Joanne
[Joanne:] Perhaps she didn't have it she done quite a bit of hovering really
[Colin:] Oh that's good then, yeah
[Sheila:] Is it alright now?
[Colin:] Well, yeah
[Sheila:] It'll only pop out I suppose won't it?
[Colin:] Well it have to pop out but it keeps popping back in again that's all that is
[Sheila:] Sorry alright thank you, prefers than what you done last time
[Colin:] Yeah better than that, yeah
[Sheila:] How's your mouth then?...
[Colin:] Alright...
[Sheila:] Where's the other lighter?
[Joanne:] There in here
[Colin:] oh I see. Where's Samuel where's Samuel's?
[Sheila:] What er, Tony out
[Colin:] Has he?
[Sheila:] Yeah
[Colin:] What she want in there for then?
[Sheila:] I don't know, I asked him to meet me at
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Oh cock a fan, come on then, now don't bite back you beastly little parrot you... you put it, you put it on oh god yeah
[Sheila:] [shouting] Tommy []
[Colin:] Shh
[Sheila:] good morning...
[Colin:] oh... What have you got to do erm, college
[Joanne:] I think that's what he's gone down for I think
[Colin:] Is it? Oh
[Joanne:] Yeah... should of asked erm Jean, asked er whatever her name is, for the details
[Sheila:] Yeah but
[Joanne:] but she said he's now going er, erm October
[Colin:] Who is?
[Joanne:] Daniel this is February, October
[Colin:] Yeah
[Joanne:] This is February ain't it so he goes
[Colin:] What does he, be getting it again, but he hasn't done it yet has he?
[Joanne:] No but he's due, he's booked in for erm
[Colin:] Oh... oh
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] What's a matter with you then?...
[speaker003:] [hoovering]
[Sheila:] about what?
[speaker003:] [hoovering]
[Sheila:] goes to show it's been used then don't it?...
[speaker003:] [hoovering]
[Colin:] Oh yeah, what did you get that bloody cable over
[Sheila:] Pardon?
[Colin:] Where'd you put that cable?...
[speaker003:] [hoovering]...
[Colin:] oh... oh...
[speaker003:] [hoovering]
[Sheila:] excuse me
[Colin:] What?
[Sheila:] this carpet gets filthy ah?
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] oh you need to be a bloody to get these damn things off, look
[Sheila:] Well you should of got bigger size shouldn't you? will they do?
[Colin:] Yeah...
[Sheila:] I bet that was the first too I suppose This Friday I think
[Colin:] What this Friday?
[Sheila:] Yeah
[Colin:] What shall we post it or shall we give it to her?
[Sheila:] Pardon?
[Colin:] Post
[Sheila:] Oh you can post it, yeah
[Colin:] [sigh] Oh it's nice to take the weight off my feet
[Sheila:] Well you've sat on your arse all day as well
[Colin:] No I haven't
[Sheila:] Oh that makes a change then ah?
[Colin:] trying to get work
[Sheila:] Who? erm
[Colin:] yes please
[Sheila:] What?
[Colin:] All of them please... have you got those, all of them did the shop sell this morning, those potatoes
[Sheila:] Yeah
[Colin:] Oh they call it
[Sheila:] oh I thought you did
[Colin:] No I didn't, no
[Sheila:] cos I say cos erm Bill never got a bag, and it four pounds something now
[Colin:] Where'd he get it from?
[Sheila:] Oh I don't know, but it was I don't know her last ones, about two pound something a bag
[Colin:] They're two fifty a bag in there
[Sheila:] ain't you?
[Colin:] Yeah
[Sheila:] Weather I suppose got something to do with it... had a weekend down there with her and Ant
[Colin:] Oh yeah
[Sheila:] cos she weren't very well really
[Colin:] No, no, they broke down didn't they?
[Sheila:] Ah?
[Colin:] They broke down
[Sheila:] Oh I dunno she didn't say nothing about that
[Colin:] Yeah, no, she and Colin they broke down they, they broke down at the
[Sheila:] Oh she didn't, no
[Colin:] Yeah, they got they'd got half hour's drive from Minehead and that their car broke down, they had to go up, they had to call the, was it the A are they?
[Sheila:] Oh yeah
[Colin:] They got there but they had to go in second gear look
[Sheila:] Oh dear, oh I wonder how they'd got down there, I wonder whether they sort of
[Colin:] No they got down
[Sheila:] got down at their own steam I suppose
[Colin:] Yeah they went down in convoy car and I think they, four or five cars went down there
[Sheila:] Oh yeah
[Colin:] there were sixteen of them, sixteen of them all there
[Sheila:] Sixteen?
[Colin:] Yeah sixteen of them, well the more of them you see the cheaper it is
[Sheila:] Yeah... she said that er they walked into Minehead on Sunday
[Colin:] Oh yeah, Jean told me
[Sheila:] she said no, Jean said oh I can't walk that, have a bloody heart attack she says, so they put her in a trolley
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER] they put her in a bloody trolley and oh course she said, this woman said erm
[Sheila:] said she might be small she said but she ain't half put on some weight you know
[Colin:] Oh yeah
[Sheila:] you know?
[Colin:] Yeah
[Sheila:] So I said well I don't, I don't look at her and I sort of see she said yeah she said sorted that out and put her in a trolley
[Colin:] Yeah but she had to walk back that way didn't she? [LAUGHTER]
[Sheila:] Did she?
[Colin:] Yeah she went to, she went to the shops and got one of those trolleys, she said what for? She said I want to go to Minehead now, what she said it's only just up there, yeah I know but I've, I've bloody got to climb down there and bloody try and get back she says, er well it's not that she, it was affecting the drink she had you know
[Sheila:] Oh I see
[Colin:] she said the drink, the drinks are quite expensive down there
[Sheila:] Yeah, I'm glad they took their, took their own
[Colin:] Yeah cos what, what they said like, their own, cos they run out of wine at the bar... and er, they went in the supermarket and got two bottles of wine and kept them on the table you see
[Sheila:] Oh
[Colin:] so, they said
[Sheila:] what was it?
[Colin:] The wine that have in the bog, is that a cheap wine?
[Sheila:] Yeah
[Colin:] Well they ran it like that cos they said at the bar we can sell you a bottle of wine for seven pound fifty though, so he said you bugger off he said that, went down the supermarket and get our own like
[Sheila:] Oh
[Colin:] and of course the bloke that were drinking that he kept, then they buy a bottle and erm they used to queue at the table that for the you know
[Sheila:] Oh yeah
[Colin:] used to just keep topping that you know
[Sheila:] I thought they'd be more into spirits than wine
[Colin:] Well there were spirits weren't there, vodka and all that, you know, no I suppose one or two drunk the old wine you know
[Sheila:] Oh yeah...
[Colin:] but she said, oh she said, they and that, they rented the horses that go up and down you know
[Sheila:] They've got a down there?
[Colin:] Oh yeah, oh god almighty, everything's free, once you've paid your entrance fee everything's free now look
[Sheila:] Yeah, quite right run now innit, cos that's where Susan took her dad weren't it, Minehead down there, that way
[Colin:] Susan took?
[Sheila:] Who?
[Colin:] Took who?
[Sheila:] Took us, that's where we went down Minehead through there
[Colin:] Oh, when?
[Sheila:] When we went for that there
[Colin:] Oh not me
[Sheila:] No, no
[Colin:] Oh no erm, oh the
[Sheila:] yes, I said it was all
[speaker003:] ...
[Sheila:] Let us make our way there, we'd get lost
[Colin:] Who? No... go and have a look see what it's like
[Sheila:] Most probably end up in Wales
[Colin:] Pardon?
[Sheila:] We'd most probably end up in Wales or something
[Colin:] I'd go and ring Barry up then [LAUGHTER]
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER]... So what you gonna do for eats tomorrow then? Well you won't have much time now to eat
[Colin:] No don't, I shall, if I'm home by, only if I got back by five, I, I better
[Sheila:] Thought you taking in Geoffrey
[Colin:] No I'm not taking Geoffrey in, he's going with his mate now lives
[Sheila:] No but I thought he was where to park
[Colin:] Yeah what I'll do, I'll see them all look, each even about twenty six
[Sheila:] Oh yeah
[Colin:] and what we do we meet up by the golf course
[Sheila:] Got a bit of interference there
[Colin:] Yeah, ah, we meet up by the golf course, cos time I pick
[Sheila:] David up
[Colin:] David up you there see, I've got to the golf course up
[Sheila:] So they'll wait for you there then are they?
[Colin:] Well I can get
[Sheila:] oh yeah
[Colin:] and I see, when he sees me park there, flash me, I just follow on, you know...
[Sheila:] So I what he can do is have something when he gets up, rather than the old something sort of
[Colin:] Yeah well, I don't, I don't get a dinner before I go up to bed. Well what you got then?
[Sheila:] I don't know I think it's Wednesday week...
[Colin:] Well before I go to bed I have baked beans on toast or something like that you know, it's, it's not
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER] pardon?
[Colin:] Ah? [LAUGHTER]
[Sheila:] Oh god
[Colin:] All of a sudden I'll be home, cor strewth
[Sheila:] you didn't have any of that stuff today then did you?
[Colin:] Yeah I had a glass this morning
[Sheila:] Did you?
[Colin:] Yeah, I've got the shits now I tell yeah
[Sheila:] eating too much, I suppose if you had a little glass, then just one of that stuff, then some All Bran, you won't be so bad
[Colin:] No
[Sheila:] in fact you had too much you see
[Colin:] No I don't think so
[Sheila:] cos you lost none have you?
[Colin:] Yes
[Sheila:] Where?
[Colin:] I have done I've
[Sheila:] Let me see then, round your kneecaps?
[Colin:] No I have, I have lost it, I tell you what, now listen
[Sheila:] Don't you start splattering at me mate
[Colin:] Now look, this had been a, a mark going around that, right... and that's what
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER]
[Colin:] I have lost it though, I have...
[Sheila:] There are, don't tip that over the cloth then
[Colin:] Alright then, come on then... you know I forgot I didn't have me keys with me this morning, of course the first one
[Sheila:] Didn't you have your sandwiches then?
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER] I just, I had erm soft bread you know get that cut that bread
[Sheila:] Did you? Did you have that luncheon meat that's in there?
[Colin:] Yeah
[Sheila:] You did
[Colin:] there's two slices left, I shall have that tomorrow
[Sheila:] no, no I'm not that keen on it... I just have a couple of biscuits and a cup of tea when I come home
[Colin:] Yeah...
[Sheila:] oh yeah I'll get some more Thursday...
[Colin:] yes, what biscuits do you want, big ones?
[Sheila:] Yeah, I think I'll borrow er one of Sue's one of
[Colin:] I, are
[Sheila:] There's more on there than what they thought or something, apparently keeps her cakes in it, so I said
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] come then...
[Sheila:] Are you on lates next week?
[Colin:] No
[Sheila:] Mo...
[Colin:] Oh I just wondered, here are
[Sheila:] Ah?
[Colin:] I just wondered if you had anything planned for the weekend that... oh... What number is Nigel at then?
[Sheila:] Erm, oh sixty erm, sixty three
[Colin:] Oh that's better then innit?
[Sheila:] so what end'll that be then?
[Colin:] Swallow end
[Sheila:] Who?
[Colin:] Swallow end, erm
[Sheila:] if that's it then I can er write her card out later on
[Colin:] Oh if you like I can put it through her door
[Sheila:] Oh that's alright... she must be about er sixty four, five I suppose
[Colin:] Ah?
[Sheila:] I say she should be about sixty four, erm eight four
[Colin:] Is she eighty four?
[Sheila:] Yeah dunno... Ah? no... they're alright aren't they?
[Colin:] Do you like them? Those other ones they come off it I think
[Sheila:] What ones? Walnut
[Colin:] No, I just
[Sheila:] really
[Colin:] Yeah...
[Sheila:] They always did taste a bit funny you know, didn't they? I mean they
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Is this still running is it?
[Sheila:] Yeah
[Colin:] Battery gone flat though is
[Sheila:] Is it?
[Colin:] Yeah... Ah...
[Joanne:] Yeah
[Sheila:] All of it?
[Joanne:] Yeah, don't usually get them for nothing
[Sheila:] three, four out, half a dozen
[Joanne:] No tomorrow, I went into town and then I went to Emma's
[Sheila:] Oh did you?
[Joanne:] Yeah
[Sheila:] Did you have a look at the wallpaper?
[Joanne:] I forgot all about it, when I got to Emma's then I realized, I'm going over I don't usually buy that sort anyway but the last couple of
[Sheila:] They've got so much work, those safety ones
[Colin:] that's it, yeah
[Sheila:] Cor they dunno
[Colin:] well they would I
[Sheila:] oh dear all depends on the nature of
[speaker003:] ... [washing machine]
[Sheila:] they won't need
[speaker003:] ... [washing machine]
[Sheila:] If they thought it was that bad they would of picked it up on the M O T wouldn't they?
[Joanne:] That's what they said, cos I, I said is it something that has to be checked regularly, he said no, it doesn't really go that often
[Sheila:] Yeah
[Joanne:] so erm... something
[Sheila:] so you'd be paying out for some more tyres if you don't have that checked or anything
[Joanne:] Yeah
[Sheila:] ain't you?...
[Joanne:] So Emma's given me his present to drop round, ha
[Sheila:] How long
[Joanne:] she doesn't finish work until about half past five
[Sheila:] Oh
[Joanne:] and in between time she goes to meet Gordon so er
[Sheila:] Oh yeah
[Joanne:] I don't know where they live, I know the court but I don't know whereabouts they are.
[Sheila:] No only where erm Mrs and that live and that's about it...
[Joanne:] Done me ironing and got that out the way
[Sheila:] Oh yeah
[Joanne:] quite damp out there really, when I ironed it
[speaker003:] ...
[Sheila:] My Rice Crispies out of date, chocolate ones
[speaker003:] ...
[Joanne:] Where's Neil then?
[Sheila:] Gone down town to get a Butlin's erm brochure, whatever they call it
[Joanne:] Why's he hope to go on holiday then? Hope to go on holiday
[Sheila:] No
[speaker003:] ...
[Sheila:] Have you sorted out that tape?
[Colin:] Ah?
[Sheila:] Pardon?
[speaker003:] ............
[Sheila:] What do you want steak and kidney pie and erm a bit of potato? or something
[Colin:] Yeah alright then
[Sheila:] there's a potato in there, thought rather to use that who? oh yeah... they've got something like that down erm they roll it out on the dance floor upstairs something like that I suppose...
[Colin:] That's right, it's on now that is.
[Sheila:] talking is it? What's it called love?
[Colin:] Neville's.
[Sheila:] Who?
[Colin:] Neville.
[Sheila:] Oh!... You got any first class stamps anywhere? Yeah? I'm a first erm... class si stamps.
[Colin:] stamps?
[Sheila:] Yeah. Cos I've got... I've got a couple here twenty four pence.
[Colin:] fifty, fifty pence?
[Sheila:] No, I got some green in here. Erm... two pence.... No I can't find any.
[Colin:] .
[Sheila:] Here are, er Four at twenty four pence... and two at two pence. So that's. And that if I post it tomorrow Friday.... So if I put a twenty four one on then it could leave that like that, right?... Don't want her to pay any out at the other end do we? Oh yeah. You don't know what second class post is do you, first?
[Colin:] No, I guess that'll be thirty four or something.
[Sheila:] The book. Twenty, a couple of twenty four... pence ones here... but Joy reckons it's more than that.
[Colin:] No, just
[Sheila:] Yes I put a twenty four pence one on and a... two pence one. Cos don't want her to... pay any at the other end do I? And I post it tomorrow... er, Thursday.... Ah this... pick this up in Derek's office today look. And if I just go to clean and erm
[Colin:] This... what do you reckon?
[Sheila:] Yes.
[Colin:] Where they going to that?
[Sheila:] Wembley aren't they? To see er Queen.
[Colin:] Oh that's right!
[Sheila:] Easter Monday.... And the other one's Simply Red I think.
[Colin:] How much did they pay for a ticket then, how much?
[Sheila:] I dunno. I have to ask when he comes tonight.... He... put that up today.... He thought about it last week but it's pretty hush hush I think.
[Colin:] Yeah.
[Sheila:] Oh dear! Have a look,.... Yeah, he got something, you know?
[Colin:] That's right.
[Sheila:] Ian and I, just going with six of them or something. Or perhaps he's going up in his van or some I dunno!
[Colin:] Well cos, you gotta get in early cos everybody else is sort of erm
[Nigel:] They were so popular last year. Cos the er... you know they'll be
[Colin:] Yeah, it had football tomorrow.
[Neil:] Mm.
[Nigel:] Is it on?
[Colin:] Yeah.
[Neil:] Yeah.
[Colin:] Just switched it on. Playing.
[Nigel:] Oh yeah.
[Colin:] Take these couple of tapes off.
[Nigel:] Oh yeah, yeah! It is.
[Neil:] Yeah, that's my brilliant idea!
[Nigel:] I'll take it football.
[Neil:] Yeah, take it to football.
[Colin:] Oh yeah, see how people sort of... natter on.
[Nigel:] Natter on, yeah.
[Colin:] You know sometimes.
[Neil:] Fight!
[Nigel:] And swear!!
[Colin:] The first tape we played back and it was him eating toast! God, it was like... ooh it was terrible!
[Nigel:] Yeah.
[Colin:] So, as if the blooming whole thing was distorted or something.
[Neil:] Sounded like, was it? Ooh ee ooh!
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER] Ooh eh []!
[Neil:] I shall remember that now.
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nigel:] Ee er!
[Colin:] So you won't be able to wear his bottom ones out will he... cos he ain't got nothing to grind on now! [LAUGHTER]
[Nigel:] [LAUGHTER]
[Colin:] We didn't... turn the window light on. I says this week.
[Neil:] Yeah, didn't want to trouble you. What time you coming up?
[Colin:] So he's standing right... the other
[Nigel:] Yeah.
[Colin:] end.
[Nigel:] You'll have a light there and a light there, all on
[Colin:] Ooh!
[Nigel:] together. That's great isn't it? Because... that switch... there
[Neil:] Yeah.
[Colin:] Is to the entrance.
[Nigel:] is that light... that light.
[Neil:] Yeah.
[Colin:] What this one?
[Nigel:] Yeah. Well I ain't got nothing yet. After Christmas.
[Colin:] No! Don't make no difference.
[Neil:] Well, the only trouble is if you did put that one I must admit.
[Nigel:] Yeah, what I thought see, if you come out and I'm covering the door and this light on... you'll be able to see straight away.
[Neil:] Yeah.
[Colin:] Yeah.
[Nigel:] See look... if I sort of turn round
[Colin:] Yeah, like Briony
[Nigel:] and got
[Colin:] she comes in here, so she
[Nigel:] Yeah.
[Colin:] switches that... on to sort out her.
[Nigel:] Yeah.
[Colin:] Cos I got help her with that.
[Nigel:] See we could put the outside light there.
[Colin:] , yeah just right.
[Nigel:] You sure it looks?
[Neil:] Well, if it's not right, know what I meant.
[Nigel:] They're not yours!
[Neil:] They are! I bought those when we went to football! I was at the!
[Nigel:] Oh my God!
[Neil:] He dived on the.
[Colin:] What I'll do is put your clips up the top here and then erm
[Nigel:] Burn them!
[Colin:] just let it at the bottom.
[Neil:] Don't wanna keep the chairs..
[Colin:] And then someone. Hey?
[Nigel:] Er... I don't care! [LAUGHTER]
[Colin:] Don't you care?
[Nigel:] No.
[Colin:] You saying about having so some chips, I think you could have had it in here!
[Nigel:] That's twenty five six.
[Neil:] God!
[Colin:] Could have had some in, some in here couldn't he? Could of had a bit of mash and... could of had a bit of mashed potato and... couple of eggs or something. Couple of sausages.
[Nigel:] Yes I know.
[Colin:] We did offer him some ice cream but he said no thank you.
[Nigel:] No,.
[Neil:] I never said that.
[Colin:] Oh you had again didn't you?
[Neil:] What?
[Colin:] Them cheese fritters? Those
[Sheila:] They're nice
[Colin:] peas.
[Sheila:] they are, mushy peas.
[Colin:] Mushy peas.
[Nigel:] Mhm.
[Colin:] They must squash them in the hand and just throw it in mustn't they?
[Sheila:] Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER]... So I'm off in to watch Eastenders then.
[Nigel:] No.
[Colin:] Yep, yep, yep!
[Neil:] Are you a good?
[Nigel:] Like that.
[Neil:] You try it.
[Colin:] No, that's mine!
[Neil:] Oh is it? Oh!
[Colin:] Now what does Nigel want a climbing rose for?
[Neil:] Eh?
[Colin:] What does Nigel want a climbing rose for?
[Neil:] I don't know.
[Nigel:] bought that anyway.
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Neil:] How old?
[Colin:] Yeah.
[Nigel:] Cor!
[Neil:] Ah?
[Nigel:] I reckon my nappies!
[speaker003:] Thank you. Right thank you very much.
[Neil:] Aha!
[Colin:] Bye!
[Nigel:] [LAUGHTER]
[Colin:] Oh! That's got Mandy to work.
[speaker003:] Oh dear! Did you li
[Neil:] What are you, what is there to do now then?
[Nigel:] I dunno.
[Neil:] Mind your back.
[Colin:] Okay.
[Nigel:] [singing] There's a hole in my bucket []
[Sheila:] Do you want peas with it or not?
[Neil:] Peas.
[Sheila:] , that one.
[Neil:] Ah Christ I've only just got in mama!
[Sheila:] Oh you'll want half a tin won't you?
[Neil:] You could store these for another two years mum.
[Sheila:] What is that love?
[Neil:] It's got... B dot B dot E... October ninety four.
[Sheila:] Oh!... Salt.
[Nigel:] Oh you want that switched off, okay. Oh
[Neil:] That's it then.
[Nigel:] They're off.
[Neil:] So what we
[Nigel:] That's the, that's the big one there.
[Neil:] Yeah. Point.
[Sheila:] That's not, that's the light one
[Neil:] That's right, yeah.
[Sheila:] that you've just taken out.
[Nigel:] That and the fridge one I'll have to take everything
[Neil:] This one innit? What, what we'll do is I
[Nigel:] Oh
[Neil:] if I cut that off there.
[Nigel:] Still wouldn't shift it dummy!
[Neil:] I'll plug it in
[Nigel:] Aha.
[Neil:] And you won't be using that again.
[Nigel:] No.
[Neil:] And I'll rip them out properly af... Thursday, when I take that one out as well.
[Nigel:] Okay. Alright.
[Sheila:] And that thing's jammed on us!
[Nigel:] Just plug it in.
[Neil:] Alright, that's enough.
[Nigel:] Yeah.
[Neil:] They're a bit old anyway!... Bit old, this programme innit?
[Nigel:] Yeah.
[Sheila:] What did you want to scrub this.
[Nigel:] They come handy don't they?
[Neil:] Mm.
[Sheila:] No, I thought you wanted one.
[Nigel:] Oh no, I don't need one, no.
[Sheila:] Alright.
[Neil:] He's quite happy to undo the... the squashed.
[Nigel:] Oh God!
[Sheila:] Friends?
[Nigel:] I tell you, I go... I tell you Neil you're very perpetual. You stopped going.
[Neil:] Mm.
[Nigel:] And a long time, innit?
[Neil:] What? Well
[Nigel:] Starkness though. And you haircut
[Neil:] Haircut at last! What's up Doc!
[Nigel:] Yeah, I think I know it as well. All gums. Goody goody gum drops!
[Sheila:] Gummy! [LAUGHTER]
[Neil:] [LAUGHTER] Oh yeah, that's good []!
[Nigel:] [singing] Gummy, gummy []
[Sheila:] his first name.
[Neil:] Well I....
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nigel:] Now that's a loaded question innit?
[Neil:] Gonna put foot in his mouth now!
[Nigel:] It's not, on my side of the story!
[Sheila:] Are you gonna put your teeth in Neil?
[Neil:] Eh? Both feet gone!
[Sheila:] Don't on the plate then.
[Neil:] There's no room is there?
[Sheila:] No. Want some of it taken off then?
[Neil:] Yeah! Go on!
[Sheila:] If there's anything on that doorstep, give us your plate.
[Neil:] Oh ee ee! Christ, only wanna fit in my mouth! Ta.
[Sheila:] Th... they let me have these scales.... I was working right up to then.... So then you put and then pop them in to
[Neil:] Ya.
[Nigel:] Oh! I'll go look in there when that.
[Sheila:] [singing] Mm mm mm, mm mm [].... Can't take them in there can I?... Yeah, something.
[Colin:] Oh I should get something now.
[Sheila:] It'll definitely be here won't it?
[Nigel:] Don't you worry about it.
[Neil:] I made last year's.
[Sheila:] Take some sandwiches, a flask of tea.
[Neil:] Yeah.
[Sheila:] What do you reckon?
[Nigel:] Mm.
[Sheila:] Egg sandwiches? Enjoy them won't you?
[Neil:] Yeah. That's if I have had any left and he notices they're there.
[Nigel:] Jammy tyke!
[Neil:] before.
[Sheila:] What, everything okay, yeah? Well I mean the sooner that's. Chips and everything else on it.
[Neil:] Yeah.
[Nigel:] Mind!
[Sheila:] Drinks when you... brush your glass on them.
[Neil:] Well I, didn't you do that mum? I couldn't understand what?
[Sheila:] Well they can be tipped back in the tin then can't they?
[Neil:] Mhm.
[Sheila:] Mash that in and you can have butter on if you wanted to.
[Neil:] No... roast potatoes will be fine.
[Nigel:] Yeah. Wha
[Sheila:] They can throw dinner on this.
[Nigel:] Mhm.
[Neil:] Shall I take quite a few egg sandwiches alright? Mum?
[Sheila:] Eh?
[Neil:] I'll take quite a few egg sandwiches.
[Sheila:] Yeah, I'll make a load.
[Neil:] Yeah, I expect egg ones.
[Sheila:] Dunno!... In about quarter to six or something isn't he?
[Neil:] Quarter past five.
[Sheila:] Quarter past five?
[Neil:] Yeah. Down the site bloody thing!
[Sheila:] I'm gonna cut a load and go pick David up I suppose innit? Mm?
[Nigel:] Ta,.
[Sheila:] Oh no! No!
[Neil:] I want my mug. Alright?
[Sheila:] You're afterwards aren't you then? They me, they're doing a good job!
[Neil:] Well so have you then!
[Nigel:] No.
[Colin:] Don't forget at quarter past five.
[Neil:] No, mum said quarter to six! I'm just correcting her!
[Colin:] Right then.
[Neil:] ! That's right.
[Sheila:] Ha? So I erm... what did you say Neil? I say, not in there Neil.
[Neil:] What's what? What's for what?
[Sheila:] Tracksuit bottoms.
[Neil:] Which ones?
[Sheila:] The boys ones there. I found that in there.
[Neil:] Yeah.
[Sheila:] Is there anything inside?
[Neil:] What this?
[Sheila:] Yeah.
[Neil:] Why?
[Sheila:] I just wondered. Cos that was wa, wet as well.
[Neil:] Only Carl's lighter.
[Sheila:] Who?
[Neil:] Carl's lighter.... Oh yeah, so I put my lighter in there my er tracksuit bottoms or something.
[Sheila:] Oh I see.
[Neil:] But now it's run out I don't bother.
[Sheila:] There's lighter up here.
[Neil:] Doesn't work.
[Sheila:] Why, what's the matter with it then?
[Neil:] You go to light it.... See, just keep going so the flint's gone.
[Sheila:] Oh!
[Neil:] That's... gone home now.
[Nigel:] Here are mate, let's have a look at it.
[Sheila:] .... Still, bit cheap to buy ain't they? Only thirty pence aren't they?
[Neil:] Well I shall use my black.
[Sheila:] Eh?
[Neil:] I'm gonna use my black one.
[Sheila:] Oh yeah.
[Neil:] Twenty for a pound.
[Sheila:] Oh yeah. Had it a long time haven't you? Eh?
[Neil:] Dunno. Yeah, I can go out mum?
[Sheila:] Eh?
[Neil:] I can go out.
[Sheila:] Anyone want a cup of tea?
[Colin:] Yes please.
[Sheila:] Eh?... scratch her eyes out innit?... It's about your, could of caught that look.
[Colin:] Oh don't start!
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER]
[Neil:] Dave's all lovey-dovey when Nig is around ain't he?
[Sheila:] Yeah. Showing off though. Try to impress.... Well I'm glad anybody has a bit of.... Do you want a cup of tea Neil?
[Neil:] Well I dunno.... Right!
[Sheila:] Erm... I'm going to the bank... let's wake this lot up!... Where do you go for that, Bath Travel for that then Neil?
[Neil:] Where?
[Sheila:] For that brochure.
[Neil:] Bath Travel, where's that?
[Sheila:] No, where do you get the... thing from then?
[Neil:] What?
[Sheila:] Butlins?
[Neil:] Well... I got it from that travel agents
[Sheila:] Oh!
[Neil:] er the one
[Sheila:] In the precinct?
[Neil:] by, yeah, by Boots.
[Sheila:] Oh yeah. Do you want
[Nigel:] Take that.
[Sheila:] put it... put it in that one.
[Colin:] Ooh!
[Nigel:] I dunno what we're talking about here!
[Sheila:] Eh?
[Neil:] Could I take the sausage rolls and chicken to school?
[Sheila:] Do you wanna take something strong now Nig?
[Nigel:] Yes please.
[Sheila:] Right.
[Neil:] I've got some.
[Nigel:] Do you mind! [drilling noise]
[Sheila:] ... Your dad's Well she used to come in erm... May to December didn't she?
[Neil:] Mm.
[Sheila:] Chip butty then?
[Neil:] Eh?
[Sheila:] Want a chip butty?
[Neil:] Mm mm.
[Sheila:] for a long time
[Neil:] Mm mm.
[Sheila:] have you?
[Neil:] No, cos I've never had chips have I?
[Sheila:] They don't have meat in do they?... I don't think Joanne's done so well in bar now.
[Colin:] Why?
[Sheila:] Just so they can have a day off or something. One of the girls have got bronchitis so
[Neil:] Mm. Is she going in the car?
[Sheila:] No, she's going by train. Cheaper than the car by the time you've paid petrol... there and back again.... What are you watching.
[Neil:] Why?
[Sheila:] Just wondered. Who?
[Neil:] Six thirty.
[Sheila:] I thought you'd already.
[Neil:] Otherwise I'll walk home, I've done it before.
[Sheila:] No.... There's round that... all out there later on then?
[Neil:] I should put a tape [banging]
[Sheila:] No,
[Neil:] by pass Brian.
[Sheila:] Go and see the if you wanted them.
[Neil:] Well I can for two hours mum. Mm?
[Sheila:] What?... Those are done properly, not just slapped on anyhow!
[Neil:] Five pound for two hours.
[Sheila:] Your cheap then ain't you? Very nice!
[Neil:] No, five pound an hour.
[Sheila:] Oh.
[Neil:] And whatever time I'll
[Sheila:] Yeah, why not!... Would you rather have a cup of tea?
[Neil:] Tell you what... I'll charge you qui, twenty quid for the whole day.
[Sheila:] What?
[Neil:] Twenty quid for the whole day.
[Sheila:] Oh well... Emma only charged that to do the lounge!
[Neil:] I know.
[Sheila:] And that was wallpapering that was!
[Neil:] I know, I'm gonna paper. Cos I'm hard up for money mum!
[Sheila:] Do you want a cup of tea as well?
[Neil:] Mhm.
[Sheila:] There's only four of us isn't there?
[Neil:] Mm. Does dad want one?
[Sheila:] Yeah.... I'll go and look for some wallpaper.... Got enough there ain't you?
[Neil:] No.
[Sheila:] No?
[Neil:] Men, ha!
[Sheila:] out there. Yours and dad's over here. Finished in there. Do you want this do you, anywhere?... Er... stick that up there. I expect the oven's turned off.
[Nigel:] I can hang on.
[Sheila:] No, but I expect it's too hot in there... crack the... dishes.
[Nigel:] It's alright.
[Neil:] Jesus Christ!
[Sheila:] What? Mm?
[Neil:] Oh, bloody ages!
[Joanne:] Neil phoned me.
[Neil:] I don't care! Hopefully
[Joanne:] I
[Neil:] so first, so don't give me that!
[Sheila:] And Neil did cos he was on when you was out there.
[Neil:] No he didn't!
[Sheila:] Yes he did!
[Neil:] He didn't!
[Joanne:] Where are you going to football tomorrow night?
[Neil:] Why, do you wanna come? With dad and with Dave the butcher.
[Joanne:] Is there enough room for me in the back, and Neil? Cos I'm not going to Reading tomorrow so I'm, I might as well go to football tomorrow instead... use that
[Sheila:] Oh yeah.
[Joanne:] money.
[Neil:] Erm...?
[Joanne:] Yeah. Well... he's a bit scared though... and we assured him there's no violence and
[Sheila:] Ha!
[Colin:] What's that lovey?
[Nigel:] Joanne and
[Sheila:] He's got a full pint mug!
[Joanne:] Are you going to football tomorrow?
[Colin:] Eh?
[Joanne:] Football?
[Colin:] Yeah.
[Joanne:] Is there enough room for me to go?
[Colin:] Of course there is!
[Joanne:] What about Neil as well?
[Colin:] Er... yes!
[Joanne:] Okay. I was gonna go to Reading but erm... Sally-Ann can't make it cos there's someone ill at work. So erm... the money that I was gonna... you know, use for that I'll use for the ticket.
[Sheila:] Yeah, but you're going off early though, what time's Neil finish work then?
[Joanne:] Well no, Neil said quarter six we were going. But I mean, he can, he's at King's anyway tomorrow... so it won't take him long to get home.
[Sheila:] Well you can pick him up on the way then couldn't you?
[Colin:] Yeah, what time does he finish work then Jo?
[Joanne:] Well about five-ish, but I mean... he'll be ready for quarter to six
[Colin:] Er
[Joanne:] or whatever time you need to go.
[Colin:] Well i if you... if he takes some old clothes with him love
[Joanne:] Mm. And then see we, he'd probably wanna get home and then get changed properly. Have something to eat quick.
[Sheila:] Or else a, or else half past at the latest, set a time.
[Colin:] Yeah,, thing is, you won't be able to get.
[Joanne:] Yeah, it only takes him about ten minutes to get home.
[Sheila:] Can always do some sandwiches.
[Colin:] Yeah. Oh yeah
[Sheila:] I erm
[Colin:] make your own boiled egg sandwiches.
[Joanne:] I'm seeing him later anyway so
[Colin:] Yeah.
[Joanne:] I'll find out more about it.
[Colin:] Well take him, take him so love.
[Joanne:] Yes. Okay then. Mm.
[Sheila:] Cos yes, something down there's gonna be pretty dear innit?
[Colin:] Yeah well they got what they, what we got I tell you.
[Sheila:] Is there?
[Colin:] Yeah. We'll take your flask.
[Joanne:] What about tickets? We gonna have to get tickets... when we get there?
[Neil:] No.
[Colin:] How will, how will I know then?
[Nigel:] , yeah.
[Neil:] Dan.
[Joanne:] Okay.
[Colin:] Great! Alright then?
[Joanne:] Great!
[Sheila:] They will have to pay innit?
[Nigel:] [LAUGHTER]
[Sheila:] It's too late!
[Neil:] Just as well you ain't coming!
[Sheila:] Eh? I dunno, might sneak in the boot yet mate!
[Neil:] Well, the back's on the ground straight away!
[Sheila:] Have to get your dad to get a ro, roof rack and put it on there.
[Nigel:] a big belly
[Sheila:] Michelin... Michelin woman! [LAUGHTER]
[Colin:] Alright?
[Neil:] [belch]... Cheers mum!
[Sheila:] Oh Joanne don't want any does she?
[Colin:] No.
[Neil:] She don't blooming want a cup!
[Sheila:] Eh?
[Neil:] She don't blooming want a cup!
[Sheila:] No, she said.
[Nigel:] You never told me that when we phoned up them.
[Sheila:] Pardon? What one? Well course you leave them alone didn't I? That's what they bought it for!
[Nigel:] [LAUGHTER] Obviously confused []! I didn't take.
[Colin:] Alright, thank you.
[Neil:] Well she
[Sheila:] Well she said don't touch that it was now mine.
[Colin:] I said that!
[Sheila:] yes I did!
[Colin:] You weren't listening I don't expect. Knowing you do
[Neil:] Why? Have you told her dad?
[Colin:] Don't, now just don't start up!
[Neil:] Did you touch them?
[Colin:] No.
[Neil:] Oh what a shame!
[Nigel:] It was tough.
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER]
[Colin:] Is that right?
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER]... now perfect they'll be
[Colin:] They will be.
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER]
[Colin:] Not... this is the go, like my sister Alma
[Sheila:] Mm.
[Colin:] when we used live at we lived down Nissen huts... right?
[Neil:] Why on earth, cor!
[Nigel:] Jackanory!
[Neil:] stories, doesn't it?
[Colin:] No, no, no! Anyway... I wish you met erm... you know your mum's...
[Sheila:] You know more than me! Has she gone out then?
[Colin:] Yeah! She told me, did I tell you?
[Sheila:] Oh did she?
[Colin:] Yeah. Cos I know about her.
[Sheila:] Oh yeah.
[Colin:] Got a heap of.
[Sheila:] Oh has she?
[Colin:] I don't where she got them and I didn't ask! But anyway
[Sheila:] Well she bo must of bought it.
[Colin:] you know that band..., yeah... well, we used to have one come from the...... down, he used to tap onto the......... erm... tried to get off and everybody stuck to it.
[Nigel:] Stuck to it, yeah.
[Colin:] Yeah.
[Sheila:] These people, aren't they brave?
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Neil:] Was it... down there?
[Sheila:] No.
[Colin:] No,.
[Sheila:] ... [LAUGHTER]
[Nigel:] [LAUGHTER]
[Colin:] . Er, and went on the... you know la la la like this
[Neil:] Like, what like?
[Nigel:] that's alright.
[Colin:] Oh but
[Sheila:] I
[Colin:] No.
[Sheila:] yet?... Now you just gotta juggle which one it is.
[Nigel:] Still on Nig.
[Sheila:] That's a new one cos there's not much
[Nigel:] Is that the ones out the front is it?
[Neil:] Yeah, they bits or something.
[Nigel:] That's right the best one's out there.
[Sheila:] That in there?
[Neil:] I thought, yeah.
[Nigel:] Yeah.
[Sheila:] So we got another one of those right... back?
[Neil:] At the back, yeah.
[Joanne:] [singing] Ah, ah ah ah [].
[Nigel:] Will try and get the screwdriver.
[Neil:] Yeah, it's in my pocket.
[Nigel:] Is it?
[Colin:] I thought you did work on something. Ge February ninety two.
[Nigel:] Oh.
[Colin:] I've gotta shove it down. Well I think you want to.
[Sheila:] So now you want a bulb to go in there now.
[Neil:] Well I suppose....
[Nigel:] What I'd do, as long as you actually... ha for instance and light... er
[Sheila:] A light, yeah that's right. In the kitchen area.
[Neil:] What's that?
[Nigel:] Good heavens!
[Sheila:] Oh yes, cos erm
[Neil:] It's a bit dark mum!
[Sheila:] Yeah it is a sixty, you see it on the top don't you?
[Neil:] It is.
[Sheila:] I was gonna put it in that there but it's too bright so... Do you get any potatoes?
[Colin:] Ooh yes! It were
[Sheila:] How much?
[Colin:] four twenty five.
[Sheila:] Right.
[Colin:] They were, they were.
[Sheila:] Don't want new ones!
[Colin:] No.
[Neil:] Just old ones. [music]
[Sheila:] on the market don't she? Try selling them cheaper.
[Neil:] [whistling] [whistling]
[Sheila:] You ain't got a water in there Nig?
[Nigel:] Don't get a lot of water there.... Maybe I'll get little bits, I dunno.
[Sheila:] Well I want to clear that room really.....
[Nigel:] Mm?
[Sheila:] . They're not much good are they?
[Colin:] Well as soon as I find out they'll have!
[Sheila:] It is unfortunate.
[Neil:] Yeah, I'll to, try and get your tools.
[Sheila:] Oh they're handy ain't they?
[Nigel:] No.
[Sheila:] Oh. Suppose you can't interfere with the weather there
[Neil:] I'll get your porch light.
[Sheila:] In the attic.
[Nigel:] Yeah, but I know you wouldn't pay, pay for
[Sheila:] Well we got no pocket there.
[Nigel:] still not long enough.
[Sheila:] This is not long enough.
[Colin:] How many times?
[Sheila:] So we're getting there.
[Nigel:] Oh yeah.
[Neil:] Where's all my screwdrivers gone.
[Colin:] I don't know!! Over them
[Nigel:] Dunno mate. It's on the little table.
[Neil:] Where?
[Nigel:] There.
[Neil:] Where?
[Nigel:] Putting that.
[Colin:] Shall look alright.
[Sheila:] Yeah! Spend more time out there than they will out here!
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER] Aha, they're joking ain't they []!
[Sheila:] Did you want any... peas or anything with that?
[Colin:] No, no, no. That's
[Sheila:] You sure?
[Colin:] okay.... Are these, are these and er...?
[Sheila:] Just like crisps.
[Colin:] Nice.
[Sheila:] ... Start what?
[Neil:] What?
[Sheila:] [door bell]
[Neil:] Oh!
[Sheila:] It's Tilly.... This.
[Joanne:] Bye! Don't worry I'll walk home.... [drilling noise] [phone rings]
[Colin:] [speaking on phone] Oh yes, Gillian! Yeah!... Thursday night, yes. Yeah, we're not... I'm not in tomorrow night.... Yes, yeah.... That's right, yeah.... I sa... yes, no not... I won't finish, I in the meanti, I told Brian... so he... he most likely ringing li er Lynn.... Thank you. Yeah. Steve. Yes, yeah. Yep! Thursday night. Yep!
[Sheila:] Here you go.
[Colin:] That's alright. No, that's alright. At half past eight, I'll... okey-dokey. Okay love it's... Yeah what he... no,wha what the trouble is we got erm... one o one our chap's retired... and erm... I'm gonna go there for the, just ask him for it, just to say, you know... have a, have a quick dri, now if you're popping over to. Alright poppet.... Okay, okay love. Yeah, see yo, see you soon then. Alright. I I, I hope so too. At least some of ours got their money back. [LAUGHTER]... Alright?... Bye bye sci... Yeah see you Thursday []. That was Gillian.
[Sheila:] So what you doing? Playing Thursday instead of Wednesday?
[Colin:] No.
[Sheila:] Oh!
[Colin:] This is the for dad.
[Sheila:] Oh I see.... Take, those two there's.
[Colin:] Anything else?
[Sheila:] Erm.
[Colin:] Oh! Oh!
[Sheila:] Stop! Well you will feel your, your gums won't you?... Mind you don't burn them or else that'll be a real terror!
[Neil:] Yeah.
[Sheila:] I hope the light bulb shines the right way Nig? Down hill.
[Joanne:] See you later then.
[Sheila:] Cheerio now.
[Colin:] Night night.
[Joanne:] I won't need my keys will I?
[Sheila:] No.
[Colin:] Yes, no, no. Should see him when he acts right.
[Nigel:] I lost my wallet.... How you getting on, alright?
[Colin:] No,. I am.
[Nigel:] [LAUGHTER]
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nigel:] [LAUGHTER]
[Neil:] Going down the pub?
[Nigel:] Yeah.
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nigel:] Where's the cheese box?
[Neil:] Where's the cheese box under there?
[Colin:] Yeah.
[Neil:] Oy!... Ah no!... I've got to set the video again.
[Nigel:] What happened?
[Colin:] Sorry!
[Neil:] Well what did you pull out? That's up is that... it looks that way.
[Colin:] .... But... that's not like, that does fit somewhere.
[Nigel:] What? I know, but it's switched and it's still working?
[Colin:] No, that off your hand there Nigel.
[Neil:] Oh no! Set each side.
[Colin:] Yes.
[Nigel:] Yeah, that's where you keep
[Neil:] It's not!
[Nigel:] Well what is then?
[Neil:] I dunno do I? I don't know.
[Nigel:] That's the.
[Neil:] It's alright there now.. Do you want, do you want er....
[Nigel:] The
[Neil:] Eh?
[Nigel:] Oh well!
[Neil:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nigel:] Eh?
[Neil:] Electric shower.
[Nigel:] Have you got electric shower?
[Colin:] Er, yeah. Why's that Nigel? Well you're gonna, gonna use it a lot anyway.
[Nigel:] No, you're not, I am! Take one if we do of raffles and
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Neil:] Go out and pose!
[Nigel:] Well it's pretty good innit? That's good that!
[Neil:] Yeah, it's good.
[Colin:] Eh? Eh? What was that again? That was. Still it ain't bad.
[Sheila:] No, oh God!
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER] Have you then Nigel []?
[Nigel:] But, yeah... eight.
[Neil:] Oh what's on that er
[Colin:] Don't worry about that.
[Neil:] Don't worry, I know what it is!. And I've gotta do the title again now.
[Colin:] I just don't know how you can finish that title now.
[Neil:] No I ain't done nothing!
[Colin:] Oh which is?
[Nigel:] It's... twenty one thirty nine.
[Neil:] That's alright then.
[Colin:] But that's not actually.
[Nigel:] Sorry, shall I... switch it off?...
[Neil:] No. That lady was in the Kray Brothers.
[Nigel:] Yeah. Spandau Ballet as well.
[Neil:] Was it? Adrian, what a name!
[Nigel:] Well I'll wash up the.
[Colin:] No, leave it there. Leave it there for a couple of days.
[Nigel:] Well you put them, I mean he didn't he?
[Colin:] He did.
[Nigel:] And he come out of here, out of nick.
[Neil:] Yeah, I picked all the... yeah.... You're going to... Shaun's club... tomorrow
[Nigel:] Eh?
[Neil:] night.
[Nigel:] You what?
[Neil:] Near where Shaun had to go tomorrow night.
[Nigel:] Why's that?
[Neil:] He didn't supply those. Well enough people have a bundle do they?
[Colin:] Eh?
[Nigel:] No, shut up!
[Neil:] Enough people there to have a bundle!
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER]
[Neil:] They thought they'd have the Mexican wave when someone go get, get up and go to the loo!
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER]
[Nigel:] A load of.
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah, which are you? You should of got in a bunch of []! Yeah well you shouldn't have... hey?
[Colin:] No. He said... on the old shillings I want Neil's bed... but it weren't that cos he's... bit of a fun to, you know, you know
[Sheila:] Oh yeah.
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER] And he's got all, don't think nothing of getting to [] any trouble with it, you know.
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER]
[Colin:] He can say he got up now, waiting for the loos... so he thought he it was a [LAUGHTER] Mexican wave []!
[Sheila:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Neil:] What?
[Sheila:] Ha!
[Colin:] For murder.
[Sheila:] There's a lot of interference on this innit?
[Colin:] On where?
[Sheila:] On the telly tonight, cos of the weather I suppose.
[Nigel:] Switched to.
[Neil:] No. Blowing out! I'm gonna have a. Did you hear what say, get on alright with the toast? The law can't win! Eh? I ain't.
[Sheila:] Perhaps it's the bulb is it love?
[Colin:] No.
[Nigel:] It's er... something.
[Neil:] Got a light?
[Sheila:] Where's the out of Nigel's... there. Oh, is he?... What was it then, a fuse? Oh!... [singing] Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee [].
[Colin:] Alright Nigel?
[Neil:] He thinks a bulb might have blown.
[Sheila:] A bulb is it?
[Colin:] Ooh right!
[Neil:] What about those?
[Nigel:] Yeah. Go outside anyway.
[Neil:] So what have we got here?
[Nigel:] It's not that one. It's on here now.
[Neil:] You tested it?
[Nigel:] No, I didn't test it, now power.
[Neil:] It was like this.
[Nigel:] Yeah.
[Neil:] What you done with the lights?
[Colin:] And yet two went off? Neil?
[Neil:] Come on get in!
[Nigel:] Outside.
[Colin:] Get that window over
[Nigel:] That's right.
[Colin:] there's enough light.
[Sheila:] Stand back and admire it that's what I want to do! [outside]...
[Neil:] Don't want those.
[Sheila:] Is this a true story, yeah?
[Nigel:] Yeah. This is true story. Well it's not a story.
[Sheila:] Some of it was on about that man there, face... got her to stay the night... then he was gonna watch it on telly in the er... lounge.... Maureen's late isn't she?... Makes you worry about their don't it?
[Nigel:] Yeah.
[Sheila:] How did Nick get on at darts last night then?
[Nigel:] He won.
[Sheila:] Oh! Who was they playing against then?
[Colin:] Viking
[Sheila:] Who?
[Colin:] Viking
[Nigel:] And er...
[Sheila:] Oh yeah! We're up the club.... club. What one?
[Nigel:] Could be a bulb.
[Neil:] Mm?
[Nigel:] Could be the bulb.
[Sheila:] Could be the bulb?
[Nigel:] Mm.
[Neil:] Blew it.
[Nigel:] You might as well just do it.
[Neil:] Aha, I think so.
[Nigel:] That's true enough.
[Sheila:] Can I try the torch out then?
[Neil:] Well I don't know.
[Colin:] Doesn't show a reaction.
[Nigel:] That's right it's....
[Colin:] Are those wires connected to tho those erm
[Nigel:] No.... Just like the Dagmar
[Sheila:] How long ago was this happened?
[Colin:] About... eighty nine.
[Sheila:] Oh yeah.... They found that horse didn't they? Gone missing.
[Neil:] Oh yeah.
[Nigel:] What horse?
[Sheila:] Erm
[Neil:] Shergar.
[Sheila:] No... it's the name of a horse it, it's... about to give a foal or something and erm... somebody took it and they found in the New Forest.
[Nigel:] Oh yeah.
[Sheila:] Quite a good place for you know.
[Nigel:] Yeah.
[Neil:] It weren't oh, what's his name was it?
[Sheila:] Not Shergar, no.
[Neil:] No, that other one. White one.
[Sheila:] Yeah.
[Neil:] Was it?
[Sheila:] Well you know, cos you see it on there didn't you?
[Neil:] No I haven't watched it!
[Nigel:] Oh! What, I don't think they look much like
[Sheila:] You alright?
[Neil:] But I'm gonna... mess about.... Did you watch?
[Nigel:] No, it's a... so
[Sheila:] Course you can't focus on on us it's taping the programme innit?
[Colin:] Yeah.... Well can't you just use that then Nigel?
[Nigel:] I'm burning up! Just a minute!
[Colin:] No,.
[Neil:] I'll sta, I'll stay in here right?
[Sheila:] in here.
[Neil:] Well... no it won't.
[Colin:] Yes please.
[Sheila:] It's on his coat now.
[Colin:] What do you reckon to these... erm, these then Nigel?
[Nigel:] Ha?
[Colin:] What do you reckon these?
[Nigel:] Dunno. Have a look... at the back.
[Colin:] How can you, how can you trace it back to the owners?
[Nigel:] Take it all out... start again. Take that little bit of wire out down there.
[Colin:] What little bit of wire?
[Nigel:] These bits.
[Colin:] No, no, cos I just said are you getting on with it Nigel, that's all look.
[Nigel:] ... it's, take that... right. What do you reckon to those? Which one's that then?
[Neil:] Ah.... Tell you what I'll do I'll tape it on the e... end of that er... Total Recall.
[Nigel:] Eh?
[Colin:] Will you get on that ma, has it got a long play?
[Neil:] Probably.
[Sheila:] Do you want to give me your plate love.
[Colin:] I'll come and help you.
[Neil:] I don't know, did I? You seem to go
[Colin:] Alright! Alright!
[Neil:] He put it on it timer not me!
[Colin:] Alright! I just wanted to know! That's all!
[Neil:] No, I don't know!
[Colin:] That don't seem very bright does it? That's better... Hello, oh Tavari... what time is it mate? Nineteen, twenty past, kick off
[Neil:] Alright you don't have to make an issue out of it
[Colin:] You gonna use the tape up to there are you?
[Neil:] Yeah you don't have to
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER] no, that's er, that's first prize... that's, that's how much you win, ah? Twenty past
[Neil:] No, it even says in here, it says look, there well may be groups of supporters in different categories who'd like to arrange seats together, unfortunately not be able to do this unless you are prepared to wait until the end of the main selling period
[Colin:] Alright
[Neil:] They won't be able to do that to be honest cos they're not gonna go are they?
[Colin:] I don't know
[Neil:] Eighty thousand, eighty thousand
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER] Oh about time to...
[Neil:] Boo, who's he?...
[Colin:] Come on, come on
[Neil:] You want a chew?
[speaker003:] Take one of these they'll make you feel better... oh no don't this is
[Neil:] just say no
[speaker003:] Yeah ...
[Colin:] Or give us here a bloody mint
[Neil:] Ah?
[Colin:] Just got him to give me a mint [LAUGHTER] gasping for it
[Neil:] I was saying to this bloke at work West Ham must be the only positive transfer to give West Ham pay for about the last twenty five years laughing up their sleeves, can't even bloody sell anything, but sell them at a profit.
[speaker003:] Who will they sell?
[Neil:] Gary, Gary
[speaker003:] Oh
[Neil:] and then get Mike
[speaker003:] ...
[Neil:] [singing] come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on I say []
[Joanne:] well it was just a surprise really
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Alright?...
[Joanne:] but they're all money, money, money aren't they?
[Neil:] Yeah I know but
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER]...
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] [humming]...
[speaker003:] ...
[Neil:] Do what?...
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] boo
[Neil:] [shouting] Hooray, come on come on [] [clapping] come on you reds...
[Colin:] If they got, if they're not gonna win tonight, if they don't beat Bolton I'm gonna tear my season ticket up look... ah
[Neil:] You're not even a season holder are you?
[Colin:] Next year I will be [LAUGHTER] next year I will be, they should win tonight, I hope so...
[speaker003:] ......
[Neil:] Yeah, yeah
[Joanne:] They were also saying about how good he is when they were interviewing
[Neil:] Yeah that's right, yeah...
[speaker003:] [singing] come on you reds, come on you reds []...
[Neil:] mind you as if no I never saw him playing no [shouting] come on you reds []
[Colin:] [shouting] go on [] oh crikey in the first minute, bloody hell, [shouting] come on then []
[speaker003:] [singing] come on you reds []...
[Colin:] Go on...
[Neil:] Go on Jason
[Joanne:] Jason... go on
[Colin:] [shouting] yeah []
[Neil:] No it's
[Colin:] What?
[Neil:] it's offside...
[Colin:] Joanne you warm enough?
[Joanne:] Yeah
[Colin:] Alright oh dear well play, come on then...
[speaker003:] [singing] come on you reds, come on you reds, come on you reds []...
[Colin:] That's yours David... come on now... good throw... that goes to waste [LAUGHTER]
[speaker003:] I just laugh [LAUGHTER]
[Colin:] don't miss it, what a miss
[speaker003:] Ah?
[Colin:] It's alright [shouting] come on []
[Neil:] that's where those
[Colin:] yeah
[Neil:] yeah you go
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Cor Jesus Christ... no fag ash is on again [LAUGHTER]
[Neil:] Shut up... can I have a sarnie?
[Colin:] Do you want one?
[Neil:] In a minute
[Colin:] Yeah I'll have one later, not just yet though
[Neil:] I didn't think you had any
[Colin:] Well I think Joanne's put some in come on we're pretty quiet this side... [shouting] go on []
[Joanne:] Go on
[speaker003:] Ooh [clapping]... [singing] come on you reds []...
[Colin:] Come on oh... go on
[Neil:] Whey hey...
[Colin:] Actually Neil
[Neil:] Ah?
[Colin:] I think when we come down we stand
[Neil:] can't you see?
[Colin:] Well no not quite
[Neil:] Do you want to stand there?
[Colin:] No, no I'm alright I only wanna see goal, that's what I wanna see there when it goes in the goal there..
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] [shouting] go on []... hooray...
[Neil:] come on
[Joanne:] Eh? hit it
[Colin:] [shouting] go on get it up there, go on get it up there for Christ sake [] eh er Christ... getting cold Darren?
[speaker003:] No gonna sit up here
[Colin:] Ah?
[speaker003:] Gonna sit up here
[Colin:] Bloody hell...
[Joanne:] Go on...
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Keep it there, go on, keep it going, oh dear
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Ah... come on let's see some bloody goals... too far, too far... oh we've got a throw in now, eh? yeah throw in, yeah...
[Joanne:] eh?...
[Colin:] [clapping]...
[Neil:] Eh?
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] What you oh Jesus Christ...
[speaker003:] [clapping]...
[Colin:] Go on Jim kick that bloody thing... they'd be out the way [LAUGHTER]
[Neil:] Come on
[Colin:] Come on for crying out loud
[speaker003:] ... [singing]
[Colin:] I wish they'd hurry up and score Neil
[Neil:] Eh?
[Colin:] I wish they'd hurry up and score, corner... where you going with this one now, oh dear, ooh Christ... well they... ha... come on
[Joanne:] Come on...
[Colin:] go on, oh don't, why didn't he get the bloody thing up there then... [LAUGHTER] that's hand ball... get it, go on... come on
[Neil:] Come on, come on
[Colin:] Cor strewth, fuck it, oh mind the tape...
[speaker003:] [singing]...
[Colin:] [shouting] Go on []
[Joanne:] Go on
[Colin:] by Christ
[Joanne:] go on
[Colin:] go on have a go, cor, good
[speaker003:] [clapping]
[Colin:] no seventeen minutes gone and no bloody goal yet... eh eh, ah Stuart, eh
[Neil:] Just there, grab his leg
[Colin:] Ah toe the line mate
[Neil:] get it out
[Colin:] get it out... go on
[Joanne:] Go on
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Ooh... didn't, Neil didn't you say he don't like football
[Neil:] He liked it but he just didn't want to come
[Colin:] Oh
[Neil:] Thought there'd be violence
[Colin:] Oh I see, violence in here, don't get enough to get
[Neil:] Eh?
[Colin:] Is that what he said? [LAUGHTER]
[Neil:] they say he knows how to take care of himself
[Colin:] No, he don't get, he don't the job
[Neil:] no, he, he seems to think different now
[Colin:] No, only
[Neil:] you start trying to look after
[Colin:] Oh yeah, sort the buggers out [LAUGHTER]... well they're all quiet down there then, what they waiting for then now?
[Neil:] Christmas...
[Colin:] Go on... Jesus bloody Christ how could he of missed that... come on Tim... bloody three year old wouldn't of missed that
[speaker003:] [singing] come on you reds, come on you reds, come on you reds []...
[Colin:] Oh, straight into his bloody arms... oh there's a bit of a curve on it, no he won't get that...
[speaker003:] [singing]
[Colin:] Go on what? [LAUGHTER]...
[Neil:] Come on
[Colin:] Come on, no, come on Neil... go on, oh he's...
[speaker003:] [singing] Oh when the saints, when the saints go marching in []... [singing] come on you reds, come on you reds, come on you reds []...
[Colin:] Come on...
[speaker003:] [clapping]
[Neil:] Yeah I know, yeah
[Colin:] Oh dear, come on
[Neil:] Go on
[Colin:] Ooh, Jesus wake up man...
[Neil:] Come on
[Colin:] What the hell are they doing, oh for bloody hell sake I don't know, what are they bloody doing there... come on... ha... [sigh] hello... hey, hey, got a ticket? Got a ticket mate? [LAUGHTER] Get him out
[speaker003:] [singing] Naughty boy, naughty boy, naughty boy []
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER]... Well he came a long way to get chucked out didn't he? [LAUGHTER]... Cor bloody happening, Neil put ours together mate
[speaker003:] [shouting] Yeah, yeah []
[Neil:] Well done
[speaker003:] Ooh a, ooh a, ooh a, ooh a, ooh
[Neil:] Yeah They're mine alright?
[Colin:] Eh? They're yours?
[Neil:] Yeah they're the only ones in there
[Colin:] Are they? Oh perhaps I haven't got me other bag then... Neil
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] I doubt it, he slipped...
[Neil:] Go on
[Colin:] ah...
[speaker003:] ...
[Neil:] so what's he gonna do then?
[Joanne:] He was really annoyed, he'd been there twelve years
[Colin:] Ooh...
[Neil:] there should be six of these, there's only four
[Colin:] Oh well What a bloody...
[speaker003:] [singing] Come on you reds, come on you reds []
[Colin:] I don't fucking believe it
[speaker003:] [singing] come on your reds, come on you reds []...
[Joanne:] [LAUGHTER]... must be happy now
[Colin:] Oh, go on...
[Joanne:] No...
[speaker003:] ......
[Neil:] go on then
[Colin:] Go on
[Joanne:] Well played
[Colin:] get out of it...
[speaker003:] Oh
[Colin:] Ha [LAUGHTER]
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Go on then, get in there
[Joanne:] Come on
[Colin:] What happened there, what
[speaker003:] ......
[Neil:] Come on
[Colin:] four of them in there
[Neil:] Come on
[Colin:] Come on Shaun, go on now...
[Joanne:] Come on Shaun
[Colin:] Oh, oh... [clapping] well done...
[Joanne:] Oh
[Colin:] Oh god...
[Joanne:] They're right low in the league aren't they?...
[Neil:] Go on
[Joanne:] oh
[Colin:] Oh Christ
[speaker003:] [clapping]...
[Joanne:] oh come on Neil
[Colin:] Is it over? [LAUGHTER]
[Joanne:] Oh
[Colin:] Oh come on er by bloody Christ, they've got more backs than bloody forwards I think
[Neil:] Oh... go on
[Colin:] Oh
[Joanne:] Where is it?
[Neil:] Come on...
[Colin:] [shouting] Oh come on, lazy lot of buggers you, come on []... ah, Jesus Christ, bloody wrap up
[Neil:] Yeah yeah well, yeah, good business
[Joanne:] They're getting
[Colin:] Go on Matty, go on Matt oh
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Oh come on for Christ sake... come on
[Neil:] Oh dear, oh dear...
[Colin:] Feet high, bit high, keep those feet down...
[Neil:] Come on
[Joanne:] Go on...
[Neil:] bloody hell...
[Colin:] [shouting] You're a rubbish manager, go back to Reading [] ah you reds
[Joanne:] Come on Shaun
[Colin:] Come on Shaun... well done Alan, come on Noddy pull your socks up, come on...
[speaker003:] No I didn't bring a picnic basket... ...
[Neil:] You know er they should be able to get
[speaker003:] ...
[Joanne:] Where they gone?
[Neil:] Oh
[Joanne:] [yawn]
[speaker003:] Are you going?
[Neil:] Yeah... eh
[speaker003:] ...
[Neil:] Oh god
[speaker003:] what happened to his coffee, what's happened to his coffee, too much coffee in it
[Joanne:] Do what?
[speaker003:] Too much coffee in it
[Joanne:] Again, no thanks, no... if he don't like it he can make it himself
[Colin:] Who's that John?
[Neil:] No Jack
[Colin:] Eh?
[Neil:] Jack the
[Colin:] don't worry about it
[Neil:] He's right at the very back
[Colin:] you
[Neil:] ah?
[Colin:] you can't see the
[Neil:] er
[Colin:] No, don't start
[Neil:] see where that tea bar sign is?
[Colin:] Yeah, he's not there
[Neil:] He is
[Colin:] No he's not
[Neil:] He is, I swear to god
[Colin:] You can't, you can't get up there, what you talking about?
[Neil:] Yes you can Matt, really tall bloke with short blonde hair
[Colin:] Long, he's got black hair
[Neil:] No I didn't say it was him, he's up there
[Colin:] You can't keep
[Neil:] he's a tall man with short blonde hair
[Colin:] Too bloody short
[Neil:] he is, he's that's him
[Colin:] No he can't...
[Neil:] he's got the same
[Colin:] eh?
[speaker003:] ...
[Joanne:] Yeah last time we were at the back though she's not, she's looked down
[Neil:] Oh I'll go and see Joanne in a minute
[Colin:] Yeah how can, how can, many jumpers has she got up there then?
[Neil:] Oh well, yeah that's a point she's got, she's got one of my rolls
[Colin:] Has she? Well go and see if you can get it, I'll keep your place for you mate
[Neil:] Can't get through there
[Colin:] Yes you will, go on... David where's, where's your programme mate?
[speaker003:] In me bag
[Colin:] Let's have a look mate
[speaker003:] You've got one and all
[Colin:] Who has?
[speaker003:] Eh? You
[Colin:] Who? No I ain't
[speaker003:] I've, I've bought two
[Colin:] You've bought two, well let's have a look at yours mate then... excuse me...
[speaker003:] I've bought two, one for you and one for me
[Colin:] Alright then, what did you do that for then?
[speaker003:] Cos you paid for me to get in
[Colin:] Oh... can you see alright down there David?
[speaker003:] What?
[Colin:] Can you see alright down there?
[speaker003:] Yeah
[Colin:] Good oh... [yawn]... Boo... come on you reds
[speaker003:] [clapping]
[Colin:] Yeah, David... you might do you? No where's all your
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Hey [shouting] yeah come on, for Christ sake []... better luck Jason
[Joanne:] We're one now
[Neil:] What for?
[Colin:] Who's offside, who's offside for crying out loud? Rubbish, oh no wonder ref don't like you very much
[Neil:] Fine
[Colin:] ah... come on, oh
[Joanne:] Oh
[Colin:] dear oh dear oh dear, it's unbelievable innit? What you trying to do? That's good...
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] come on oh [LAUGHTER] well done Matty... here we go... no good, good decision, not bad ref
[speaker003:] ...
[Joanne:] That was a foul there
[Colin:] Ah come on... oh no don't book him, these are home, it's got mayonnaise I think...
[speaker003:] [singing] When the saints go marching in oh when go marching in I wanna be in that number oh when the saints go marching in, oh when the saints
[Colin:] Oh when the saints
[Neil:] go marching in
[speaker003:] oh when the saints go marching in, I wanna be in that number oh when the saints []...
[Colin:] come on you reds... [LAUGHTER]... ha, come on...
[speaker003:] [singing] come on you reds, come on you reds []...
[Colin:] Come on... [LAUGHTER]
[Neil:] Did you see that?
[speaker003:] ......
[Colin:] Come on for Christ sakes... get in there...
[Neil:] Quick...
[speaker003:] [singing] Come on you reds, come on you reds []
[Colin:] Get in there, come on
[Neil:] Go
[Joanne:] Go on
[Colin:] Where the bloody are you
[Neil:] Ah you pillock
[Joanne:] Come on...
[Colin:] Come on
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] This is a football match at Southampton, Southampton versus Bolton, mind the language... twenty sixth of the second, ninety-two... goal kick... go on...
[speaker003:] [singing] Come on you reds, come on you reds, come on you reds []
[Joanne:] Go on, go on
[speaker003:] Oh
[Colin:] No didn't get on with it...
[Neil:] that's right
[Colin:] Oh... oh yes
[Joanne:] Go on, go on
[Colin:] Ha... idiot
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Off, off, off, off, off... ah? come on for half an hour this I'd better see how much go on then, oh come on
[speaker003:] ...
[Neil:] come on...
[Colin:] Come on
[Joanne:] Pick it up
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Neil:] Come on you reds... no...
[speaker003:] [singing] Come on you reds, come on you reds []
[Colin:] Watch
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Good boy
[Joanne:] Come on
[Neil:] Far side, far side
[Colin:] No... here we go, here we go
[speaker003:] [clapping]...
[Colin:] Oh Jesus I thought that was it... what's he doing, get it up here... oh come on
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Boo...
[Neil:] Come on there...
[Colin:] Come on Alan...
[Neil:] Come on
[Joanne:] Oh my god...
[Colin:] What are they dead or what? I don't know... hello what's happening there then?...
[Neil:] Come on you reds...
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Oh... who are they, a ticket? Yeah good
[speaker003:] ... [singing] come on you reds, come on you reds, come on you reds []
[Colin:] Come on son, come on [LAUGHTER]... he'll break his bloody leg...
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] come on then...
[Neil:] Well done
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Cor it's all play at that bloody end innit? come on play, oh Christ, come on
[Joanne:] Come on
[Colin:] Oh, what are they bloody playing at for, and don't say bloody football either [LAUGHTER]... come on... come on you reds
[Neil:] Come on
[Colin:] Rubbish, they're more like no... what's he a Bolton supporter?... Go on, oh sugar... I heard that [LAUGHTER]...
[Neil:] Come on you reds
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Come on...
[speaker003:] [clapping]
[Colin:] Good catch
[Neil:] Yeah...
[Colin:] Here they go... ha ran foot style [LAUGHTER] come on... ee bloody good on the post, go on Mickey, go on... they're not special [LAUGHTER] he's a bit or rough
[speaker003:] ...
[Neil:] Oh no
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] I don't know, rubbish...
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] You warm enough Neil? What about David?
[Neil:] Yeah
[Colin:] Yeah...
[speaker003:] ...
[Neil:] go on
[Colin:] [shouting] For crying out loud []
[Neil:] What were they thinking of?...
[speaker003:] [singing] Come on you reds, come on you reds, come on you reds []...
[Colin:] Ha
[Neil:] Come on...
[Colin:] go on
[speaker003:] Yeah, oh [clapping]
[Neil:] And again, and again come on
[Colin:] No...
[Neil:] Good save weren't it?
[Colin:] Bloody good, bloody good save that was
[speaker003:] [singing] When the saints go marching in, I wanna be in that number, oh when the saints go marching in []...
[Neil:] Control it, control it
[Colin:] Control it
[Neil:] Go on Terry
[Colin:] Go on Terry
[Neil:] Go on...
[Colin:] for Christ sakes
[speaker003:] [singing] Come on you reds, come on you reds []...
[Colin:] come on then
[Neil:] Go on
[Colin:] Come on
[Neil:] Go on Jason...
[Colin:] Oh...
[speaker003:] [singing] Oh black bastards, oh black bastards, oh black bastards []
[Colin:] [LAUGHTER] Better not.
[Neil:] Come on physio wasting more time... oh dear, oh dear...
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Oh, [LAUGHTER]
[speaker003:] [singing] oh when the saints go marching in, oh when the saints, go marching in, oh when the saints go marching in, I wanna be in that number, oh when the saints go marching in []
[Colin:] Go on, ha, brilliant oh you idiot
[Neil:] He's off, he's off
[Colin:] Come on you rubbish team...
[speaker003:] [singing] Oh when the saints, oh when the saints go marching in... oh when the saints go marching in, oh when the saints go marching in, I wanna be in that number
[Colin:] Go on
[speaker003:] oh when the saints go marching in []......
[Neil:] Come on
[Colin:] I'll you what er...
[Neil:] keep, keep
[Colin:] what?
[speaker003:] ... [singing] come on you reds, come on you reds []...
[Colin:] You got a programme?...
[Neil:] Nine minutes left
[Colin:] Eh?
[Neil:] Nine minutes left
[Colin:] Yeah... they're gonna get a goal in a minute...
[speaker003:] [singing] Oh when the saints, oh when the saints go marching in, I wanna be in that number oh when the saints go marching in []...
[Neil:] For Christ sake...
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Come on...
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Here they come
[Neil:] get there, get there...
[speaker003:] Oh...
[Colin:] eh?
[Neil:] Oh yeah I know
[speaker003:] ...
[Neil:] Well
[Colin:] Come on son...
[speaker003:] Oh yes
[Colin:] Oh, oh...
[Neil:] Follow it, follow it
[Colin:] Yeah
[speaker003:] [singing] Come on you reds, come on you reds, come on you reds []
[Colin:] Come on Alan
[Neil:] Bloody
[Colin:] you idiot, you lazy idiot... Well what a waste of bloody corner, weren't it?
[Neil:] Can't even kick a ball over, I can't believe it
[Colin:] A bunch of bloody wankers...
[Neil:] Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear
[Colin:] Cor, oh... they are mate for Saturday...
[Neil:] Go on now, that's it
[Colin:] Go on get in, stuck in, for crying out sodding loud... yeah
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Go on
[Neil:] Go on make it, make it
[Colin:] Go on... what's that eighty, or eighty three?
[Neil:] Eighty
[Colin:] Eighty, yeah... come on now, go on
[Neil:] Well done Alan... come on get it away, oh god
[Colin:] then a wide
[Neil:] Get out, get out, bastard...
[Colin:] What are they playing at for crying sodding loud...
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Come on... serves them right
[Neil:] Fuck it...
[Colin:] serves them right... my makes you wanna fucking cry don't it, ah?
[Neil:] Ooh
[Colin:] Yeah, come on...
[Neil:] might as well
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Ah... come on, just bloody get on with it, they had to fucking score didn't they? They had to score
[Neil:] Oh I know, you could see it coming though couldn't you?
[Colin:] It was in the pipeline weren't it?
[speaker003:] Serves them right, they don't deserve to win, a load of rubbish...
[Colin:] You bloody get in
[speaker003:] ...
[Colin:] Go on...
[speaker003:] Yeah
[Colin:] Woo, hoo, hoo, yeah, yeah