[Lisa:] No, come on Peter.... No you're not supposed to have that.... Come on. Give that to mummy. Thank you. Thank you. Oh and you've got a pen too! Oh right. Come on.... No... you be good boy.
[Peter:] [crying]
[Lisa:] No look. Here you are, look. Play with your rattle. There, you play with your rattle.... There! There, don't you want that? You play with that. Be a good boy. Mummy's just getting your banana ready.... Alright, won't be a minute.
[Peter:] [crying]
[Lisa:] Alright poppet. Mummy's coming.... There!... Alright? Come on. Alright? Give mum her paper back.... banana?... There. Yummy yummy yummy.... Yummy yummy yummy.... That nice?... Is that nice?... There, you like banana. Yeah. You do. You like it....
[Peter:] [splutter]
[Lisa:] Oh dear. Nasty. Mummy get your medicine.... Come on Peter. Peter! Come on. Be a good boy. Ooh... Yeah.... Come on then.... Here you are. Peter. Peter! Come on. Peter.... I'll just switch that television off and you might pay some attention.... Come on.... Come on.... Mm yummy!... Is that nice? That nice?... Yeah.... Come on then, good boy.... Here you are, Peter. Yes. I know.... Yes. Ooh. Here you are then. Here you are.... Mm yummy.... Mm.... What are you saying eh? What are you saying?... Mm?...
[Melvin:] Their electric bill was... sky high. I didn't. It was on
[Lisa:] Well it might have been the the gas bill because er you know what she's like with the central heating.
[Melvin:] Yeah. Both.
[Lisa:] Yeah. I think he used to pay all the...
[Melvin:] Yeah, I think he did. Out of the business.
[Lisa:] through the business.
[Melvin:] Yeah. And now, now they've come to realize that he's only on a wage, he's on a bloody good wage and all.
[Lisa:] Mm yeah.
[Melvin:] Right? And they have grandad's money. That buys all the bloody food.
[Lisa:] Well it's his pension isn't it?
[Melvin:] Yeah. All he lives on is his personal pension.
[Lisa:] What, from the gas board?
[Melvin:] Yeah. That's what he lives on. And if he ever wants to buy anything
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Mm. So... basically I reckon they're gonna be in the shit. Because er... no mum was saying er... they should be out enjoying theirselves, not having to stay in paying all this.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Well I mean it's... their decision wasn't it?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] They...
[Melvin:] Now they've come to realize what it's like.
[Lisa:] Well I know she had to pay her poll tax didn't she? Down at
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Barnet.
[Melvin:] Yeah that was a month's wages, nearly. Well a good part of it anyway.
[Lisa:] She can't clear much money....
[Melvin:] I reckon she must get home, take home about eighty quid a week or something. About hundred quid a week. Yeah well no that's not bad money for a woman
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] working er what she's doing.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Just started and all.
[Lisa:] Not very good wages are they?
[Melvin:] No I know.
[Lisa:] In there.
[Melvin:] Poor wages. Poor payers I mean....
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Oh well they'll just have to... steady down won't they?
[Melvin:] And I can see it in a year... I I'll give it, give dad er... about eighteen months...
[Lisa:] Yeah....
[Melvin:] and he'll be wanting to leave Avenue Panels
[Lisa:] Yeah....
[Melvin:] It'll come too much.... Then he'll wanna form a partnership.
[Lisa:] Well you're not gonna... I don't think, no
[Melvin:] No. No I wouldn't
[Lisa:] No.
[Melvin:] I'm happy as I am.
[Lisa:] No cos
[Melvin:] I'll have to see what it's like down the road. If it's got room for expansion which I'm hoping... then, I would say yeah because dad's got a good reputation.
[Lisa:] Yeah but what could he do? I mean what's he gonna be like in a... couple of years time?... He might say oh he
[Melvin:] Don't know. But he's not bad at spraying. He's a good sprayer.
[Lisa:] Oh but that's the whole reason he stopped, because he couldn't
[Melvin:] That's right.
[Lisa:] cope with it.
[Melvin:] The only thing the old man could do was spray. He couldn't... every time he undid bolts like... and if they were tight, he couldn't do them. Cos you've got to... and he can't use his fingers and if he has to it... right? And ea each knock... he used, used to be in agony. Like if he was hitting something and he accidentally hit his ha his thumb or his finger... he used to be in agony for... I mean it used to hurt him for the rest of the day.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] You know?
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] Whereas if I hit me hand... you know, okay it hurts but it's gone in five minutes. If I keep, keep hitting it like I did the other day when my brother was there... me thumb and that, oh boy! I mean it was
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] swollen.
[Lisa:] Yeah. I remember that. You showed it me. [LAUGHTER]... Yeah.
[Melvin:] That's cos I kept hitting it, bloody. But I could, I can hack the pain.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] And that's the difference you see, it was gone... day but dad's is not. If he'd have kept hitting it like I h I hit mine... no way.
[Lisa:] Yeah I know. He's... I mean he, he just wouldn't be able to er contribute enough. I don't think. He wouldn't be able to... you know, okay he'd probably potter about on a restoration job but I mean that's not...
[Melvin:] They're good payers, restoration jobs.
[Lisa:] Well yeah, but I mean it's not providing half the business is it?
[Melvin:] Res restoration job you're talking er... if you actually work on a vehicle a week, talking five hundred quid a week.
[Lisa:] Yeah. So I mean I I just couldn't
[Melvin:] I mean that's two grand a month.
[Lisa:] see him being able to do the work.
[Melvin:] No but then you've gotta guarantee that you've got restoration jobs.
[Lisa:] That's it. Yeah.
[Melvin:] They've got to be guaranteed work like one after the other.
[Lisa:] Think they're just gonna have to cut back.
[Melvin:] Oh yeah.... They probably will do cos
[Lisa:] I mean your mum'd save a lot of money if she found a l job locally where she didn't have to travel.
[Melvin:] Yeah. Oh yeah.
[Lisa:] Go on the bus. I mean it must, well she must spend ten quid a week on bus fares.
[Melvin:] Oh easily.... Easily I'd say.
[Lisa:] Yeah. But she's got all that way to walk....
[Melvin:] That's why she ought to learn to drive. If she drove... she'd save money that way. Okay you've got to fork out... insurance and er... petrol.
[Lisa:] It'd be a lot cheaper.
[Melvin:] But... in that sense she can use the car on her own. She can go out shopping.
[Lisa:] Well she could take the. Dad doesn't use it does he?
[Melvin:] That's it yeah, the useless bloody thing.
[Lisa:] Can you imagine him letting her use it? [LAUGHTER]... He'd have a fit.
[Melvin:] You'd love 's motor. His granny... Brilliant....
[Lisa:] What?
[Melvin:] John 's granny.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Oh, top of the range weren't it? Oh!
[Lisa:] Did you phone up that garage?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Yeah?
[Melvin:] It's er... four speed gearbox.... It's got a broken er ignition... it's broken in two. But they imagine that would be er replaced.... Erm... dunno what the mileage is like. Rust's supposed to be not too bad.... Er... that's about it really.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] He didn't know much about it.... The bloke I spoke to.
[Lisa:] Really? Must be a fairly new garage cos I've never heard of them before. I've never seen them advertised before.
[Melvin:] No I haven't.... I dunno.... Er I'll go and do this stuff and er
[Lisa:] You gonna pop down the shop for me then?
[Melvin:] Yeah. Yeah I'll take
[Lisa:] Do you want dumplings?
[Melvin:] Yeah, can do....
[Lisa:] You've got steak and kidney. Ugh.
[Melvin:] Oh great! What are you having?
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] oh no, I just pick out the kidneys.
[Melvin:] Do you? Well give me the kidney then.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] You should make some pies out of it or something. Steak and kidney pie.
[Lisa:] Can't you smell it? Smell it. Kidney.
[Melvin:] Not really.... Thursday used to be a good night in the paper for motors. Look at it, there's here.
[Lisa:] No it's Friday. Friday night... paper
[Melvin:] Friday now is it?
[Lisa:] yeah, er for cars....
[Melvin:] Dad said he's given us er... some phone numbers. Well he hasn't given me them, they're at work.
[Lisa:] What for?
[Melvin:] People who deal with motors.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] So I might get er
[Lisa:] What did you tell him what we're after?
[Melvin:] Yeah....
[Lisa:] What did he say, what do you want one of them for?
[Melvin:] No....
[Lisa:] Didn't he?
[Melvin:] I want a, I want a station waggon but it'll have to be a... Ford, personally.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] But if a cheap, real cheap motor comes along, a Peugeot or something, I'll buy it. If it's the right price.
[Lisa:] Well Peugeot I mean you're talking a hell of a lot for spares.
[Melvin:] Yeah I know so, that's the problem you see. Fords
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] I get twenty five percent discount. So
[Lisa:] But you know 's Peugeot
[Melvin:] That's why I want a Ford. Yeah.
[Lisa:] Peugeot. The heat surge grill thing in the car had broken... and you couldn't just buy a n individual switch you er had to buy the whole thing and it was
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] over fifty quid.
[Melvin:] Oh yeah I'm not surprised.
[Lisa:] For a bit of plastic.
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Yeah but I get a good... I get a good say that again. I get a good discount with er Renault Peugeot.
[Lisa:] ?
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Yeah Renaults I get a very good discount....
[Lisa:] Who... gives you that then, Somervilles
[Melvin:] No no, I get it up. somewhere like that. They're a main discounters.
[Lisa:] Oh yeah I remember your dad saying.
[Melvin:] No I don't deal with er Somervilles.
[Lisa:] He gets more discount than.
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Yeah they phoned up last week. Or at the beginning of this week.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] You haven't used us for a while. I said no, I ain't had no motors in of your type. [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Oh what'd she say?
[Melvin:] Says oh that's fair enough then innit? I said yeah. How's business? Said oh it's doing alright thanks. I said how's your business? Oh pretty quiet. I said oh that's good then innit? [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Yeah?...
[Melvin:] They're alright. Most of the people are alright.
[Lisa:] Yeah. I suppose they have to check up on...
[Melvin:] Make sure you're still alive
[Lisa:] Yeah....
[Melvin:] Escort estate... seventy quid. [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Seventy quid? Oh that'll be real crap. Oh an old one [LAUGHTER].
[Melvin:] Yeah. Er spare, short tax no M O T.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Melvin:] Mini automatic here. That's what mum wants....
[Lisa:] Your mum's got hasn't she? So
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] She'd probably have some lessons but she can't afford it.
[Melvin:] Oh here's some better prices
[Lisa:] [clears throat] I said I'd sit with her.
[Melvin:] There's a Sierra here, eighty three. Twelve months' M O T, taxed, very good condition. Good reason for sale. Seven hundred and eighty quid.
[Lisa:] Mm....
[Melvin:] Sierra two litre ghia. Nineteen eighty three. Two months' tax, M O T. Got condition....
[Lisa:] Mm. Sounds ominous.
[Melvin:] Yeah. One thousand three hundred and fifty. Yeah respray.... Dad said if you go looking for a motor... got a magnet at work, take that with you. Yeah, good idea innit?
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] Yeah well....
[Lisa:] That's the only problem with buying it, well I suppose it's... any, dodgy any secondhand car really isn't it?
[Melvin:] Oh yeah yeah.
[Lisa:] If it's more than a few years old....
[Melvin:] Cortina two litre G L auto.... Ten months' M O T, excellent all round condition. Any trial. Four hundred and ninety five pound.... No, bugger all in here.... Do you have a look at mother and baby? Nothing?
[Lisa:] No.
[Melvin:] Always the bloody same....
[Lisa:] No, there's not even anything in erm... appliances, anything like that.
[Melvin:] No?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Oh I'll go and do this stuff.... Did you get a bill in today?
[Lisa:] No. Didn't get any post.
[Melvin:] No, no bills? Good.
[Lisa:] No post.
[Melvin:] Good.... No post is good news.... As far as I'm concerned.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah [].
[Melvin:] It's always bloody bills.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]... Pardon?
[Melvin:] Shut the door.
[Lisa:] No, it's, it's not that cold. Do you wanna cup of tea or d'y we have it when you come back?
[Melvin:] Yeah you could have a go. I won't be a long.
[Lisa:] Right. Okay.
[Melvin:] ...
[Lisa:] So how was Ron at work? Was he alright?
[Melvin:] Yeah....
[Lisa:] So how many days do you owe him for?...
[Melvin:] Paid him.
[Lisa:] You've paid him?... What with?... Is he going on Saturday night?...
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Is Tracey going?
[Melvin:] No.
[Lisa:] Why?...
[Melvin:] Er she can go if she gets a babysitter....
[Lisa:] Ah! Oh dear. [LAUGHTER] Do you think she wants to go?...
[Melvin:] More than likely, yeah.
[Lisa:] Rob's not gonna...
[Melvin:] He's going, definitely. He said I don't go out very often been out. I says yeah I says I'm in the same boat. I said I don't go out very often. It's nice when you do get out.
[Lisa:] How old's their little boy?
[Melvin:] Two? Three?... Three I think.
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Yeah.
[Melvin:] Er I said er Lisa'd like to go out but er she don't feel like it these days. We haven't been out together for ages.
[Lisa:] No. Well the last time we went out together was
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] And that was with Ann and John wasn't it?
[Melvin:] Yeah....
[Lisa:] Mm.... Yeah and I went to that...
[Melvin:] No, if you were feeling okay and wanted to go out we'd go out on Saturday night somewhere....
[Lisa:] Let's go out for a nice meal somewhere.
[Melvin:] We can't afford a meal.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Well this is it [].
[Melvin:] Could afford a few drinks but not a meal.
[Lisa:] No.
[Melvin:] Meal we can get at home.
[Lisa:] I know. It's nice to have somebody else to cook it.
[Melvin:] Oh yeah I know it is....
[Lisa:] I'm not this drink at the moment anyway....
[Melvin:] You don't want to do anything at the moment....
[Lisa:] No I'm sorry. put the ironing away yet. [LAUGHTER] Done it all and still sits in the chair []. Oh dear.... It's getting it up the stairs isn't it?... I think I've got to go into tomorrow.......
[Melvin:] ?
[Lisa:] Yeah, in the high street.
[Melvin:] Yeah. I've gotta go down....
[Lisa:] bank?
[Melvin:] Yeah. get some.
[Lisa:] Oh we need some bread as well.
[Melvin:] Get some bread?... Are you alright for the morning?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] No notes. No?...
[Lisa:] Yeah well we got that lasagne I was going to do that for you today but
[Melvin:] Well I'll have to have some of your money then. So I can get some.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Otherwise... cos I won't get any till dinner time you see....
[Lisa:] Mm.... you were gonna have that... lasagne anyway. Cos I would have done that for you today but
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] I didn't know what time you were coming home.
[Melvin:] Neither did I....
[Lisa:] We were gonna put it in the oven and just leave it there but it would
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] have dried up.
[Melvin:] Yeah. That's why I phoned up....
[Lisa:] So I had a couple of the beefburgers.
[Melvin:] Eh?
[Lisa:] I had a couple of the beefburgers.
[Melvin:] You had a couple? You've had some already?
[Lisa:] Yeah, I had some for my lunch.
[Melvin:] Oh....
[Lisa:] alright. You know like the ones your mum and dad had last few... Yeah those ones. Quite nice.... Not sure what meat they used in them.... I don't know where my. here.
[Melvin:] It's a spare one....
[Lisa:] Oh, Anne was telling me... she said er... she went out last night [clears throat] and mum turned round and said to her now don't you be late home cos it's cold out there. Now you're not gonna be late home..... Oh is Clifford bring the wood round tomorrow?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] What, in the morning or...?... Where are you, where do you want it putting?
[Melvin:] Behind the shed....
[Lisa:] What the one that's up? Yeah. [LAUGHTER] Yeah [cough]... yes, alright.
[Melvin:] But away from the fence.
[Lisa:] Away from the fence? Okay.
[Melvin:] So I can get... that other one up....
[Lisa:] Ooh.
[Melvin:] Suppose I ought to tell him that shouldn't I? be out and unlock the gate.
[Lisa:] Yeah. I should be in in the morning.
[Melvin:] Yeah?
[Lisa:] I suppose I'll stop here Saturday night.... Anne wants to... see if she can have Peter over the weekend sometime.... She's gonna have a word with Kenny....
[Melvin:] Saturday.
[Lisa:] Yeah but if he's gonna come Saturday I mean we can hang on painting we? But if he's not gonna come I'll, we'll do it anyway.... Yeah.... Be nice if he could.... [clears throat] Paddy was saying that all the club members were getting ten pound. Saturday night.
[Melvin:] Yeah?
[Lisa:] Yeah.... So he must be doing well mustn't he? Unless there's something funny.
[Melvin:] Dunno....
[Lisa:] Cos she's wondering if he's gonna give her any spending money. [LAUGHTER]...
[Melvin:] He can buy me a bloody beer.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah.... She said if he gives her fiver she'll throw it back in his face and say that's not enough [].... No. Yesterday.... And I think she intends on having quite a few drinks.
[Melvin:] Oh no.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] You'll probably end up having to carry her home [].... Well her mum sent me so... No it will say on the... the actual... you know the bottom bit on the other side. What bank, what clearing bank is it?
[Melvin:] Midland Bank.
[Lisa:] Yeah. Midland Bank no charge.... As I say you'll probably be able to pay in at the Nat West cos you have got an account with them.
[Melvin:] wake up with wet dreams every morning.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]... Oh dear, poor boy....
[Melvin:] Or wake up with a stalker
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]... Well you're just have to be patient won't you?
[Melvin:] Yeah I'm patient alright. [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]... I mean it's not very nice
[Melvin:] The only way to be.
[Lisa:] it's not very nice being pregnant actually.
[Melvin:] No,. I know I feel it with a belly. [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]... Well yeah you can feel the belly but you haven't got the actual [LAUGHTER] feelings [].
[Melvin:] Yeah....
[Lisa:] No I'm not designed to be pregnant I'm not.
[Melvin:] You're what sorry?
[Lisa:] Not designed to be pregnant....
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah alright.... All I know is I've lost me socks.
[Lisa:] on the stairs. The bottom of the stairs.
[Melvin:] They're not, I just looked.
[Lisa:] And your jumper, where you left them.... Ooh.... Oh
[Melvin:] [cough]
[Lisa:] Ooh.
[Melvin:] Have I got a clean jumper?
[Lisa:] Sorry? Yeah there's a clean one.
[Melvin:] That's something clean then.
[Lisa:] Thank you. Is that shirt not clean
[Melvin:] Oh actually no, I'll have that back.
[Lisa:] Oh!
[Melvin:] put on a clean pair... clean pair of jeans.
[Lisa:] Yeah right. I'll erm... I'll sling that lot over the stairs. It's heavy you know, carrying washing.
[Melvin:] Yeah. well take it in two piles like, you know what I mean?
[Lisa:] Oh no, then you've got to go up
[Melvin:] Take, take
[Lisa:] the stairs twice. That's three times.
[Melvin:] well take half of it down take half of it down
[Lisa:] I'm not going upstairs now.
[Melvin:] No, alright then. But when you go up to get Peter... take some up with you.
[Lisa:] Right.
[Melvin:] Right? That saves you a journey dunnit?
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah all up again....
[Melvin:] So each time you go up, take a bit with you.
[Lisa:] Yes sir. Suppose you ate all your peanuts last night?
[Melvin:] Yeah. That's probably why I want to go for a dump now. I'm busting to go.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] You're lucky, I haven't been for three days [].
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] Here.
[Lisa:] No.
[Melvin:] I don't know, it saves on toilet paper dunnit? [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] It's when you feel it bunging up inside you....
[Melvin:] All you've gotta do is to sit on the bog and go oooaaah [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] I don't think it would make any difference. [LAUGHTER] I've tried that quite a few times, so
[Melvin:] fart. Yeah, I know.
[Lisa:] It was that cabbage. I thought I'd give us a bit of cabbage last night. Getting our roughage. [LAUGHTER] thought the cauliflower would but no, not really....
[Melvin:] Oh well, gonna get the sack I am.
[Lisa:] Yeah well I mean... boss ringing up, chasing after you.
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Well he's al he's normally late anyway so [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Mm. dunnit?... Ooh. Do you think I ought to put that teddy in his cot?
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Well I've moved that mobile up... the stairs down one.
[Lisa:] Yeah?
[Melvin:] So it can be used....
[Lisa:] So, I stripped the bed yesterday.
[Melvin:] Yeah I know. Yeah.
[Lisa:] He's totally wrecked it.
[Melvin:] Yeah I know. He'll probably wreck it again.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] He just fiddles around don't he? Wakes up
[Lisa:] Sorry?
[Melvin:] He wakes up and fiddles around doesn't he?
[Lisa:] Yeah. Well he moves around. It's quite funny actually....
[Melvin:] [fart] Ooh.
[Lisa:] Oh go away.
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Think I'll open the window.
[Melvin:] Good dear.
[Lisa:] Bit of fresh air didn't hurt anybody. Specially with that flying around.
[Melvin:] Oh dear. smell peanuts I think.
[Lisa:] Mm....
[Melvin:] Ooh....
[Lisa:] Ooh...
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah at least mine's only peanuts. Yours is everything.
[Lisa:] I know.
[Melvin:] Ooh.
[Lisa:] Lift your leg like a bloody dog.
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Lisa:] Disgusting.
[Melvin:] Still bloody well recording.
[Lisa:] Yeah. I think I'll have to abandon it with you around.
[Melvin:] Why? Why, ain't I supposed to mention it's recording or anything?
[Lisa:] You're supposed to be normal.
[Melvin:] I am normal.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]... Open the window when you've finished.... You listening?...
[Melvin:] Er, so that's it really isn't it?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Do that insurance claim of mine. Get some money back.... I was thinking about... getting two sets of overalls.
[Lisa:] You might as well. One in the wash, one on.
[Melvin:] Yeah.... all that Tippex Is this Tippex?
[Lisa:] Yeah...
[Melvin:] What I've done is I've got extra extra large
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] and er... I've asked for the er extra length one. It's a... tall length.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Right? Cos what I thought, if I had... a bigger you can always turn, you can always turn them up for us... sew them and all that. But at least I'd get the right size then.
[Lisa:] Yeah....
[Peter:] [gurgle]
[Lisa:] Come on, let's have a look at you then.... How are you?... Are you better?... Eh? Shall mummy wipe your face?...
[Peter:] [cough]
[Lisa:] Oh dear. Nasty cough. Nasty cough.... [clears throat]
[Peter:] [cough]
[Lisa:] Oh dear. Come on, let mummy wipe your face.... There.... [clears throat] Oh you want some of this do you? Here you are then. Here you are, you play with that then.... No you can't have the whole roll. No, not the whole roll. No just that. [LAUGHTER] How boring []....
[Peter:] [gurgle]
[Lisa:] Yeah. I know....... Are you playing with that? Are you playing with the telephone? Eh?... Are you? You on the telephone?... Eh? Peter.... Yeah.
[Peter:] Eh.
[Lisa:] Are you playing with that?
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Yeah?... You are.... What do you fancy for your breakfast? Bit of toast?... Eh? Do you want some toast and marmite?... Toast and marmite?
[Peter:] [gurgle]
[Lisa:] Yeah. Oh....
[Peter:] [gurgle]
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] What are you saying []? Eh?... Are you talking to mummy?... Are you talking to me?... Are you? Are you?... Yes. Yes? What are you saying?... What did you say?... Say mum.... Peter... Peter... mum... mum... say mum mum... mum... mum
[Peter:] [gurgle]
[Lisa:] say mum... say mum... say mum... Peter...
[Peter:] [cough]
[Lisa:] We'll go and get your medicine shall we? drop of medicine?... That's your foot.... Yeah it's your foot. Mummy go and get your medicine.... There you are. [clears throat] Yeah, your medicine. You like this don't you? Mm. Yeah.... Mm.... There you go.... Good boy....
[Peter:] [sneeze]
[Lisa:] Oh dear. Bless you. Bless you. Oh dear. No no no no no no no.
[Peter:] [cough] [gurgle]
[Lisa:] [clears throat] Yeah.... There you go. Lovely. Shall we wipe your nose? You don't like that.
[Peter:] [crying]
[Lisa:] No.... all over your face, everywhere. Whoo! Yeah.
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Mm. Come on then.... What's that? Is that a rabbit? It's a snail isn't it?... A snail.... You've got the wrong one.? You can't be doing that, no.... Here you are then. Peter.... Mm.... Lovely. No, you're not gonna have it.... You're not quite big enough yet. No, cos you'll just throw it everywhere.... And I'd rather you eat it than make a mess of it eh?... You can have the bowl when it's empty.... Yeah? oi. You can have the bowl when it's empty.... Which I doubt very much. [LAUGHTER]... Here you are then. Snail. Peter.... Good boy. Snail.... Yeah.... Snail that goes oh so slow.... Peter! Good boy.... Ooh! Oh you're quite enjoying this this morning aren't you?... Decided against the toast.... bit of Weetabix.... Here you are then.... Here you are.... Mm. Mummy hasn't had her breakfast yet.... Yeah.... There, is that good?... That good? Ooh let's wipe your nose again. Ugh!
[Peter:] [crying]
[Lisa:] Alright. I'm only wiping your nose.... You noisy monkey.... Yeah.... Right....
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah.... Yeah.... Come on. [clears throat]... Your mummy's got a cough too. We're a right pair aren't we?... Yes, we are. We are. Yes.... Ooh.... Mm.... Yes. Mm.... Yes come on Peter. Peter....... Been a good boy, you've nearly eaten it all.... Here you are. Come on.... One more spoonful. Come on. Peter.... Peter!... Good boy.... Mm. Open wide, there. Yeah.... Here you are then.... Yes, very good. We're gonna have to wash your face.... I think we will. I think it's filthy.... What were you doing last night in bed, eh?... Peter.... Come on. Good boy. There. Nearly finished.... Nearly finished.
[Peter:] [cough]
[Lisa:] Oh dear. Oh dear.... Oh dear.... There. Come on.... Come on.... Alright, we'll leave that then shall we?... Shall we leave that? Or do you want some more?... Try again. No you don't want it. Alright then. Mummy go and get your milk then. Alright?... Mummy get your milk.... He liked that.... There you are. You gonna hold it?... Are you gonna hold it? I doubt it.... [LAUGHTER] No [].... You like mummy to hold it don't you?... Oh you old boozer.... Ah.... Let's wipe your face. Come on. Good boy.... [LAUGHTER]... There you are.... Do you want some more? I think you'd rather be playing with everything wouldn't you? Yeah.... Alright then?... Where are you going?... Eh?... Are you after that snail again? Are you? Are you after the snail?...
[Peter:] Ooh.
[Lisa:] Oh you're comical. Did you slip, right?... You want to get up again? Well you have to get yourself up.... Can you get yourself up?...
[Peter:] [belch]
[Lisa:] Oh pardon!... [LAUGHTER] Where you going []? Hey where you going?... Hey... where you going?... You don't know. You're making a mess on mummy's nice clean floor.... Yes.... You don't care though do you?... Hey?... Hey?... You don't care? Come on then, you hold mummy's hand.... Eh? Now where are you going? Come on then.... Come on. Ooh way up! Whoo! [LAUGHTER]... Come on, you have to go forward. Go forward.... Whoo! Oh dear! [LAUGHTER] hold your hands up [].... Come on. One... two... three... four.... One... two... three... four.... [LAUGHTER] You wanna go backwards now don't you?... [LAUGHTER] What are you doing? [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Oh dear! You're funny.... Are you funny?... I think you are, aren't you? Eh?... [LAUGHTER] Now what are you gonna do?... Eh? Now what are you gonna do?... [LAUGHTER]...
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] You used to really like them, you did. When you were little. [LAUGHTER]... Eh?... You did....
[Lisa:] So you managed to get everything done?
[Melvin:] Yeah, I paid the er....
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] Er for er..
[Lisa:] yeah.
[Melvin:] Erm given him twenty quid. That was right wasn't it?
[Lisa:] Dunno, yeah.... Where, where is it?
[Melvin:] In there.
[Lisa:] in there?... Thank you.
[Melvin:] was it twenty or twenty five? I think it was just twenty wasn't it?
[Lisa:] Ooh I don't know. I'd like some money.
[Melvin:] How much money you got left? What are you smiling at? Have you got something to tell me?... The tape recorder's on!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Don't slap your leg []. [LAUGHTER] All the dust came out. You've got some clean jeans. No don't cos it's him!
[Melvin:] Yeah I'll put some clean jeans on. I've done all the dusty work.... Looked a right state going in I tell you.
[Lisa:] I bet you did. Still your painting
[Melvin:] It's done.... Apparently the er... dust, filler dust
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] that er... when you breathe it down... right, it goes in your lungs, it doesn't shift. It stays there.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] It doesn't go. It'll stay there for the rest of your life. That's why a lot of people... suffer illnesses.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] ...
[Lisa:] Yeah, did you wear a mask?
[Melvin:] Yeah, oh yeah yeah. Always have done.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Every now and then I... never used to.... Always wear a mask. That might be one reason why I suffer a bit of asthma now.... Aggravation.
[Lisa:] It might be, yeah. You never know.
[Melvin:] Yeah with the dust
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] You ain't half looking at me ain't you?
[Lisa:] So... what else did they have to say? Did they ask how Peter was or not?
[Melvin:] Yeah, they asked er how you were.
[Lisa:] Mm?
[Melvin:] And er asked me when it was due.... And I said er... er Peter was born in Ju June... and the next one's... due in July the tenth. And Tish went bloody hell! [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] Went bloody hell! as if poor girl! I went yeah, poor girl.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] You are giving me a look ain't you babe? Eh?... You are.
[Lisa:] He's getting all excited.... Let me go and make you a cup of tea.
[Melvin:] Yeah, cheers. Do you want the fire on?
[Lisa:] Sorry?
[Melvin:] I'll get the fire going. Whee!
[Lisa:] Amuse your son.
[Melvin:] Yeah, I am....
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] Oh me tits!... Ow!... [LAUGHTER]... You're not after my glasses are you?... Oh no.... Ow! Me nipple. [LAUGHTER] Ah!... You're hurting me mate. [LAUGHTER]... Once upon a time there were three bears. Mama bear, papa bear, baby bear.... They all went for a walk down the woods. They did, yeah. Alright old Goldilocks... she stumbled across the house. Whoops, oh look, there's a house.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Oh yeah [].
[Melvin:] Ooh they've got some soup on the table.... Yeah. So she ate all the soup
[Lisa:] Actually it was porridge.
[Melvin:] Alright, porridge then.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] Whatever.... Yeah he don't mind. He don't care. Ow!
[Lisa:] No, he don't care.
[Melvin:] squeezing me nipples.... Ain't you babe, eh? Oh you've got a little cross-eyed you are.
[Lisa:] His left eye?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Mm....
[Melvin:] It looks slightly
[Lisa:] Yeah. But like said when she tested him, she said it's erm
[Melvin:] Just a weak eye. Ah! Ah!
[Lisa:] He uses it.
[speaker004:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] If it's er a proper squint [LAUGHTER]... are you listening?... If it's a proper squint they don't use it. They don't seem to use it.
[Melvin:] Yeah....
[Lisa:] Yeah, he likes
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]... up nose. Pick your nose mate.... Ow! Ow. That hurt.... [playing with baby]
[Lisa:] He'll soon be howling. Let me get to him.
[Melvin:] He loves it.
[Lisa:] I don't.
[Melvin:] So. You're not the one who's being chucked up in the air.
[Lisa:] You'll give me a heart attack. What's your daddy doing to you?...
[Melvin:] You liked that didn't you.
[Lisa:] No, don't do it.
[Melvin:] Eh?... [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] He was chewing his toes this morning.
[Melvin:] You're getting a bit big to stand on daddy.
[Lisa:] He was, he was chewing his toes.
[Melvin:] Was he?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Good. You were chewing your toes were you?
[Lisa:] Yeah cos he was going blah blah. [LAUGHTER] He was screwing his face up [] but he was still doing it....
[Melvin:] No.... No....
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] No.... No!
[Lisa:] Battle of wits this is. [LAUGHTER] I think you're gonna lose. [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] No. No.... [LAUGHTER] He's laughing. He thinks it's a game you see []. No you cannot have me glasses. Two-eyed git.... Eh?... No.... No.
[Lisa:] Well if you take them off and then they won't be out will they?... There, that fooled you....
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] He's staring at me now. [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] Now he's trying to grab them [].
[Lisa:] He's trying to grab you.
[Melvin:] Didn't you mate, eh? Didn't you?
[Lisa:] Just be thankful you haven't got longer hair, I'm telling you.
[Melvin:] Yeah. There's method in my madness. Do you erm... have we got another bill in yet?... What electric?
[Lisa:] No we've had a bill from the council. That bill.
[Melvin:] Oh we've got a bill you see.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah [].
[Melvin:] Let's have a look then.
[Lisa:] It's twenty one pounds. It doesn't say when it's supposed to be paid by so I think we might forget it for now. [LAUGHTER]... Don't you?...
[Melvin:] Bags of rubbish from the ga there weren't no bags of rubbish in the garden.
[Lisa:] No there wasn't. No I know.... I think, well we'll hang on to it and then they can send us a reminder can't they?...
[Melvin:] Yeah. It's normally thirty days.
[Lisa:] It doesn't say anything on there.
[Melvin:] No they don't. That's what I was looking at.
[Lisa:] No....
[Melvin:] Might get the business to pay for it.... was it?
[Lisa:] No.
[Melvin:] They're tricky bastards, they really are. I don't like them. The council are a nuisance....
[Lisa:] They are really. What can you do?... Your brother's brought the wood.
[Melvin:] Oh he has has he?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] How much?
[Lisa:] A fiver.
[Melvin:] how much was... how much was there there?
[Lisa:] Oh it's quite a bit. I haven't... you know cos it wasn't very nice when he brought it. He was gonna stack it over this side.
[Melvin:] Yeah?
[Lisa:] But... I said no, cos we don't it yet. I said we want it behind the shed. But whether they've actually put it behind the shed or what I don't know.
[Melvin:] Well I hope they have.... I'd better go and have a look.
[Lisa:] Well that's where you told me to tell him to put it, behind the shed.
[Melvin:] I said the back of the shed.
[Lisa:] At the back?
[Melvin:] The other side, not behind.
[Lisa:] No... yeah you said the back.
[Melvin:] Yeah. And away from the fence.
[Lisa:] I dunno. Away from the fence!... Yeah I'm sure it's alright.... You shouldn't take him out there....
[Melvin:] He's alright, only for a quick second.
[Lisa:] Alright.... Is that alright, where it is?
[Melvin:] Not much.
[Lisa:] Sorry?
[Melvin:] not much.
[Lisa:] It's pretty good wood though I think.... I think your brother wa he was slightly worried about the amount he could take in his car....
[Melvin:] ...
[Lisa:] Thought he said something about the suspension....
[Melvin:] Oh what! Gonna say I shall tell him, don't seem much there mate.
[Lisa:] Mm oh.
[Melvin:] Pop down myself.
[Lisa:] Probably....
[Melvin:] I could get that in my boot.
[Lisa:] I didn't look. You know I just sort of
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] At that particular point he was whingeing away so...
[Melvin:] How's the dinner?
[Lisa:] I don't know. I'll go and check. [clears throat]...... That Dave's a funny old chap isn't he?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Didn't say much.
[Melvin:] Didn't he?
[Lisa:] No.... Mm, I think we're warm enough now.... Just burnt me finger.... Do you wanna put him in his walker?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Please.... [LAUGHTER] No it's not all
[Melvin:] ?
[Lisa:] Yeah it's not all... done.... This is your daddy's. Mummy's gonna do yours next.... [LAUGHTER] Expectant look on his face []. I think you'd be
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] minus your lunch if er... somebody had his way.... I won't switch the oven off just in case.... Try a bit from the middle first can you?...
[Melvin:] It's hot.
[Lisa:] Is that alright? I'll switch the oven off then.... Oh do you want any bread or is that alright?
[Melvin:] Yeah, do us some bread.... New loaf.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] How many slices?
[Melvin:] Just one.
[Lisa:] Oh.
[Melvin:] I'll stick to one.
[Lisa:] Oh. You can have the crust.
[Melvin:] No thanks.
[Lisa:] Oh. Alright.... Best bit of the bread.... Oh it's massive. Do you pick these loaves or do they feel sorry for you when they give them to you?
[Melvin:] Feel sorry for me.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Melvin:] bread there.
[Lisa:] Oh I see that.... I'm surprised I'm allowed to touch the loaf. [LAUGHTER]... I am.... It's fresh anyway.... It's really fresh isn't it? Is that alright?... [LAUGHTER] Examining it! Is it alright? [LAUGHTER]... Oh I can't cut bread. [LAUGHTER]... You know me dear....
[Melvin:] You should be able to.
[Lisa:] What do you mean?
[Melvin:] Used to have er fresh loaves all the time.
[Lisa:] When?
[Melvin:] When you lived with the old man....
[Lisa:] Well it used to last a day if that, and I never used to cut any of it. He used to eat it all.
[Melvin:] What a loaf of bread a day?
[Lisa:] Yeah I know.
[Melvin:] Shit.
[Lisa:] It was only at weekends.... Yeah he used to have a whole loaf on a Saturday.... Oh my
[Peter:] Peter. He's smiling.
[Lisa:] Yeah a whole loaf he used to eat, himself.... No. No. Come on. This way round. Good boy. Mummy get your lunch. You've got stew and dumpling.... No, not you. I don't know what you've got for your dinner. That's a point, I haven't done any [LAUGHTER]... I haven't got anything out. That's a point....
[Melvin:] Didn't you?
[Lisa:] Sausages?...
[Melvin:] ...
[Lisa:] Mm. Yeah. If you want... eggs you'll have to go and get some from Ann.
[Melvin:] Yeah I know cos this morning.... We've gotta get some eggs haven't we?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] I'll pop up and get them.
[Lisa:] Oh alright.... Alright, come on then bustle, let's get...
[Melvin:] Burgers....
[Lisa:] What?
[Melvin:] Get a couple of burgers out.
[Lisa:] You can cook them from frozen.
[Melvin:] They won't take long to defrost.
[Lisa:] Alright. Okay. Okay dear.... Whatever you say.... Oh a bit of kidney. Ugh.... So are you coming straight home tonight?
[Melvin:] Yeah....
[Lisa:] I didn't know whether you might... stop off at the pub or something.... I didn't...
[Melvin:] Eh?
[Lisa:] didn't know whether you might stop off at the pub.
[Melvin:] ...
[Lisa:] Come on you.... Oh.
[Melvin:] out tomorrow aren't I?
[Lisa:] Yeah, true.... Some people have got their washing out you know.
[Melvin:] Eh?
[Lisa:] Some people have got their washing out.
[Melvin:] Yeah, it'll dry.... It's not raining.
[Lisa:] That's it. It goes like this and then it'll cloud over and rain.... I thought about it then I thought no, it's not worth it.
[Melvin:] Better wait until the dries first. Put it out.
[Lisa:] Yeah. Mm.... Hello poppet.... You laughing at?...
[Melvin:] Gotta pen?
[Lisa:] Yeah, yeah.... That's a bill.
[Melvin:] Oh don't worry about that.... Peter.... [belch] Excuse me.
[Lisa:] Pardon. [LAUGHTER] Did that taste alright, that lasagne?
[Melvin:] Yeah....
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Oh shut up []. If we had a microwave it wouldn't be, would it?
[Melvin:] That's
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Oh god. We'd probably blow round the edges when I put in the [LAUGHTER] freezer [].
[Melvin:] Come to think of it, yeah
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]... Yeah. Somebody there I think might like a bit of that.... You like lasagne don't you boy?...
[Melvin:] Ooh.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah [].... Yeah, he's had a really good sleep actually. He went to sleep about half... eleven.
[Melvin:] Yeah?...
[Lisa:] Mm.... He nearly managed to sit himself up Melvin. He sort of pulled backwards and hit that chair, got off that chair. And he was sort of he managed to get his legs... round but he just couldn't quite get his body up... to sit up.
[Melvin:] Come over here.... Come over here mate. Here... here boy. Woof woof.
[Lisa:] He's not a dog. [LAUGHTER] So I don't think it'll be long before his crawling forwards.
[Melvin:] No, it won't take long....
[Lisa:] Bless his little cotton socks.... Yeah that's you. slap your legs didn't you.
[Melvin:] Kick.
[Lisa:] Ooh.... Mm left the... window open.... Dunno what I fancy for my lunch.... Didn't have my breakfast till about ten o'clock. I didn't.
[Melvin:] What's been happening on here then?
[Lisa:] What?
[Melvin:] Neighbours.
[Lisa:] Oh you didn't see it did you?... Oh erm... Marie's had er... a letter from... her supposed parents. And there at her house now.... With them.... Mm. Because they'd already warned, they've already warned her about... you know sort of con people and you know
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] people just sort of out to get a quick buck.... So... Alright baby, do you wanna drop of milk?... Eh?... No you have to wait for your lunch.... Ooh!... Mummy's just got a broken neck.... He's ever so thirsty. I think it might be the medicine he's on. But I practically filled that this morning.... Come on then....
[Melvin:] Ah!...
[Lisa:] So is Robin at work today or not?
[Melvin:] What?
[Lisa:] Is Robin at work today or not?...
[Peter:] [shouting] []
[Lisa:] Alright.... Yeah. Well I dunno. Mm? Mm.... red nose. No you're not drinking mummy's tea. You don't like my tea, it's got no sugar in it.... Come to think of it, has daddy's got any sugar in it? I don't know. [LAUGHTER] You'll have to try it [].... Having a bit of trouble? [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] What?
[Lisa:] He looked like a cow chewing a piece of grass. [LAUGHTER]... There. Here you are, give us your plate love. Erm... beefburger, sausage...
[Melvin:] Egg bacon chips... beans...
[Lisa:] Well if you have bacon now you won't be able to have it at the weekend.
[Melvin:] Well alright, okay.
[Lisa:] Mushrooms.
[Melvin:] Right okay....
[Lisa:] We've got some mushrooms.
[Melvin:] Got some mushies.... Legal ones I hope.... [LAUGHTER]...
[Lisa:] Did you want mushrooms... with it?
[Melvin:] Yes please.
[Lisa:] Good.... And beefburger. I mean do you want beans?
[Melvin:] Beefburgers and sausages.
[Lisa:] Do you want eggs with it?
[Melvin:] Yeah. And egg. And chips.
[Lisa:] God.... I don't know whether my brain can cope with all this. [LAUGHTER]... Aha. Oh yeah we've got a good few mushrooms there. Ah.... Oh dear. Such is life.... I feel so tired yet I've done nothing. I went over the shop... this afternoon.... That was an effort.... Sorry?
[Melvin:] Take him
[Lisa:] Yeah well I wasn't gonna leave him here was I?
[Melvin:] Yeah. Bung him in the cot thing. He'd be alright.
[Lisa:] No, I wouldn't do that. No I wouldn't do that.... I wouldn't.... No... I'd never be able to forgive myself if anything happened would I? Eh?... Oh is it. Mm. [mr bean record on telly i think]... [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]... So was the record in the charts?
[Melvin:] Yeah, he's released it.
[Lisa:] Oh no!...
[Melvin:] The old Alice Cooper song....
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Postman Pat [].... [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]... Oh dear. [LAUGHTER] Oh I dunno.? Oh... I don't think there is any.
[Melvin:] Haven't had time.
[Lisa:] What have you been doing Melvin? [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] I ain't talking cos you've got that bloody thing on.
[Lisa:] Well, you just won't have to talk to me then will you?... Eh?... I think we're gonna have to put these vegetables up on a... up higher.... Yeah.... Cos I'm having a job bending down....
[Melvin:] Put them on the washing machine.
[Lisa:] That's a good idea. [LAUGHTER] Then they'll all shake off when it spins [].... We'll have potatoes the kitchen.... Different.... Do you mind if I sit down and drink my tea? start tea.
[Melvin:] Course you can sit down.
[Lisa:] Well I didn't know whether you were starving starving starving.... I'm always bloody starving. [LAUGHTER]...
[Melvin:] ... get rid of
[Lisa:] Why don't you like them? I do.... awkward sometimes. Oh god.... So...
[Melvin:] ?
[Lisa:] Yeah.... No I mean he didn't want his... erm... milk at tea time.
[Melvin:] Oh yeah. He nearly weeed all over me.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Did he? He nearly got me this afternoon. [LAUGHTER]... You have to watch him.
[Melvin:] I know you do.... didn't get me....
[Lisa:] Get anywhere else? His own nappy.
[Melvin:] He went...
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] He's been watching his old man.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] He's quite funny. Did he flick it? Cos he normally flicks it. [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] No, no he scraped along with his... right ball.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Oh no, he's quite funny. But you can usually tell when he's going to. Cos it sort of slightly
[Melvin:] old boy he was going.
[Lisa:] slightly swells.
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Was he? You can just see at the end... you know at the end, it fills like a, a little... little splodge of wee.... Oh look!... That's brilliant.
[Melvin:] Have you seen one of them?
[Lisa:] No.... Oh god, how many's he got?... Oh no, he's gotta be joking! I didn't realize... you could still, you could buy them.
[Melvin:] Yeah....
[Lisa:] Mm. Love it.... Oh you've got cats now....
[Melvin:] ?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] they?
[Melvin:] No.... Did er...
[Lisa:] Pin.
[Melvin:] ...
[Lisa:] Mm... I don't know where the pins are. Trying to think.... Well I can give you a nappy pin.
[Melvin:] Eh?
[Lisa:] A nappy pin be alright?
[Melvin:] Yeah, that'll do.... I only wanna...
[Lisa:] The other thing he likes, he loves that kitchen roll.
[Melvin:] Yeah I know.
[Lisa:] He shreds it.... Have you seen him when he does it?... So intense.... [cough]
[Melvin:] Yeah the old motor's alright.
[Lisa:] Yeah it's just conking out. [cough]
[Melvin:] Keep the choke out all the time.
[Lisa:] Oh dear.
[Melvin:] I see why you get tired sitting here.
[Lisa:] Why?
[Melvin:] The fire.... You want to swap seats
[Lisa:] I sit over there. [cough] Yeah. No I feel tired anyway....
[Melvin:] If I sat there... at night
[Lisa:] [noseblow] Yeah.... Oh dear.... I ought to get some vegetables today I suppose....
[Melvin:] Microphone's on here.
[Lisa:] Yeah I know.... Attached permanently by a nappy pin. [LAUGHTER]... Yeah.... Mm.
[Melvin:] try and get the
[Lisa:] Is your dad coming up?
[Melvin:] No.
[Lisa:] Oh. So your mum's got her wish then?
[Melvin:] Yeah well they're going down south...
[Lisa:] Yeah....
[Melvin:] Chelmsford
[Lisa:] Hooray.... That's unusual....... asking, she said oh... what about erm... grandma? Does she take an interest in what we're doing... like the decorating and stuff? No.... Nothing. She, she hasn't even offered any help? I said no.... I said too interested in their own.... The only thing she offers is sort of help with Peter but that's because she wants Peter. Not because she wants to help us.
[Melvin:] I thought she was supposed to have him at the beginning of this month.
[Lisa:] Twenty eight isn't it?
[Melvin:] Yeah.... the end of this month.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] beginning or the end.
[Lisa:] I don't know. It depends on Diane you see. And Louise.... Well can you imagine what's gonna happen?... Don't really want him to go.
[Melvin:] It's be chaotic round there.
[Lisa:] Yeah. Well no even his mum, you know they can't cope with... two.... brother will let Jade go. He probably won't let Jade go cos of the dog.... Mum can have the baby and Ann can have Peter.
[Melvin:] they'll both have both. They can share. One has him Friday and Saturday and one has him Sunday and Monday.
[Lisa:] That means they'll have to communicate.
[Melvin:] Well... communicate don't they?... to talk.... I'm not having them stuff up my plans.
[Lisa:] Well Sharne'll have them.
[Melvin:] Sharon can have them.
[Lisa:] It'd be easier if Sharne did.... Wouldn't it?
[Melvin:] I don't mind.... Why should, why shouldn't Annie and me mum? It's different cos we wanna go away....
[Lisa:] No Ann would have him the whole time.
[Melvin:] Yeah well
[Lisa:] Your mum wouldn't.
[Melvin:] No I know.... Have him for Thursday night. Thursday night Friday night Saturday night Sunday night, four nights....
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] three in the morning or something... when we get there. Wherever we're gonna go....
[Lisa:] I hate you and your travelling plans because they all get
[Melvin:] I ain't travelling any plans. Not making, I'm not making any
[Lisa:] You are. Three o'clock in the bloody morning.
[Melvin:] Well it's the best time to go. and I'll drive.
[Lisa:] You can drive. I know....
[Melvin:] Saves messing around with bloody road traffic.
[Lisa:] Oh well when you're planning to go there won't be that much road traffic.
[Melvin:] ...
[Lisa:] So, yeah. Get out. Open the window.... Mm.... Cornwall. Yeah I've noticed. [LAUGHTER] I can't remember. I've, I've been to Cornwall but I was so small.
[Melvin:] It's great down there.... really loved it.
[Lisa:] Oh I remember, yeah, when you went.
[Melvin:] Yeah that's right.
[Lisa:] Mm.... [LAUGHTER] That's why you slept in a field?
[Melvin:] Yeah. Woke up the next morning [LAUGHTER]. We knew it it was a long way down but. Bloody right at the top we were. like that.
[Lisa:] Mm. Oh god.
[Melvin:] Yeah. [LAUGHTER] He said shit, glad I never drove the car down there. [LAUGHTER] We'd have never got it back out....
[Lisa:] Junior's awake. Ooh.... Mm, won't be long.... How many weeks am I now?...
[Melvin:] Twenty four? Twenty three?...
[Lisa:] Mm, must be.... Twenty four weeks....
[Melvin:] You're nearly there. half way.
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Soon be viable.
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Twenty six weeks aren't I?
[Melvin:] Twenty eight.
[Lisa:] No it's twenty six, twenty eight is six months....
[Melvin:] Twenty eight. You have abortion up to twenty eight weeks don't you?
[Lisa:] Yeah but it's viable. The foetus is viable at twenty six weeks.
[Melvin:] Yeah?... abortion.
[Lisa:] No, they wouldn't do it.
[Melvin:] No.
[Lisa:] Unless there's some medical reason, serious medical reason, they wouldn't do it.... Wouldn't have it done at this stage anyway.
[Melvin:] No....
[Lisa:] No it would be awful. Be so traumatic for them cos you can actually feel the baby moving
[Melvin:] Yeah, that's what I mean.
[Lisa:] from inside you.... There's obviously reasons why.
[Melvin:] Yeah....
[Lisa:] [cough]... Mm gosh, we're early this morning....
[Melvin:] Yeah, I've gotta... don't wanna be there all day....
[Lisa:] Oh yeah.... Have you left a lighter behind?
[Melvin:] No.
[Lisa:] Oh you're not
[Melvin:] Yes. Got me keys?
[Lisa:] What keys? Oh your car keys. I suppose they're in my coat pocket. [LAUGHTER] Or your coat pockets dear.... [cough]...
[Melvin:] Ta. See you later.
[Lisa:] [cough] medicine.... Oh you [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] What?
[Lisa:] The tape was on my...
[Melvin:] Oh I can hear it.
[Lisa:] [cough]
[Melvin:] You normally move your head away from me.
[Lisa:] [cough] got any
[Melvin:] [kiss]
[Lisa:] medicine or not.... [cough] Pardon?
[Melvin:] ...
[Lisa:] Playing with your feet? Are you?... What shall we have for your breakfast today?
[Peter:] [gurgle]
[Lisa:] Yeah what do you fancy?... You'll make a mess whatever you have won't you? Here you are, have a drink.... Here you are.... Have a drink.... Oh come here.... Snotty nose.... Alright? Better get you something to play with then. Then we'll see what we can rustle up for breakfast.... Right? Ooh look at this?... Yeah. Something for you to make a lot of noise with.... Your favourite.... Erm... [LAUGHTER] Where you going []? Hey?... Toast and marmite be alright for you?... Eh? [LAUGHTER] Oh you're coming back now are you []? Oh go on then.... Alright?...
[Peter:] [crying]
[Lisa:] Mummy's got it all under control.... Yeah, toast and marmite.... You're supposed to eat them. You're not supposed to play with them.... That's it. Bit hard that bit? Try that one.
[Peter:] [belch]
[Lisa:] Pardon. Try that bit.... Or don't you want to? Here you are, there's a piece there. Let mummy give it to you.... That's noisy.... Ah.... Mm. No mummy doesn't want it. No.... You can have yours.... That's it, you can do it.... Go on then. Eat up.... Eat up.... What's that? A car with a noisy exhaust pipe.... Yeah, car.... Eat that piece.... No that piece is better.... That's the crust babby so that's a bit hard.... Mm, bit hard.... Yeah?... Come on look, have a piece of this then.... Ta.... Ta. Peter.... Ta.... Here you are then. Mm you've got fluff and everything on that one. Oh lovely.... No, where are you going? No, come on. Sit back. No you're not moving anywhere.... Mm ta. Ta.... Ta.... Good boy.... Thank you. Thank you.... Mm. Oh! Breaking the bread now, alright.... Here you are.... Oh you've put the plate upside down, alright.... Wheey up! [LAUGHTER] Oh dear.... What a mess. All the crumbs, oh dear....
[Peter:] [cough]...
[Lisa:] a bath after all this.... Let's look what the postman's brought us.... Shall we?...
[Diane:] Thanks for the birthday present.
[Lisa:] Was it alright?
[Diane:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] I didn't know whether it would be but I thought, well you could go down and change it.
[Diane:] Yeah. Yeah it's alright. Jade loved it.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] I thought she might... you know?
[Diane:] Yeah we did sort of point p sort of pr pressing, but
[Lisa:] She needs
[Diane:] Yeah. Yeah. She liked the noise it made. Cos got it up on the side and he hadn't showed her and he was just pressing... oh what's that
[Lisa:] I was dying to open it to see what noise it made but
[Diane:] you should have opened it.
[Lisa:] No I didn't try.... No... Did nanny and granddad come up and see her?
[Diane:] Quarter past eight. and she was in bed.... It's pathetic, they know she goes to bed about half past seven.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Diane:] So they said where is she then? Well she's in bed. We'd kept her up till quarter to eight and she was knackered.
[Lisa:] You'd never think they had children of their own.
[Diane:] No. No we couldn't get earlier. But they [shouting] ain't got no commitments I mean what were they doing []? Till ten past eight.
[Lisa:] They have fish and chips Friday nights for christ sake. Fish and chips they have. So she ain't gotta. Fish and chips they have.
[Diane:] Oh, I dunno. Yeah....
[Lisa:] No, jeans didn't come. I ordered them again but they didn't come.
[Diane:] No I didn't think they would actually. bought her a music.. It's a musical box but it. Funny stuff.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Diane:] And it's all hedgehogs and stuff like that.
[Lisa:] Oh I know, yeah.
[Diane:] And it's got primrose... well it's on it's about that big I'd say.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Diane:] But I mean the best thing is the tin it come in.. I said oh I love the tin. I think that's lovely.
[Lisa:] She'd be better off going somewhere like the Early Learning Centre and getting a damn good toy.
[Diane:] Yeah....
[Lisa:] it's your nanny and granddad, yeah. Is it next weekend they're going down?
[Diane:] yeah....
[Lisa:] I mean it's not is it?... Yeah. Has he said anything to them or not?
[Diane:] No. put them all across the garden. I said do you want me to go and let them out for you?
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] You're kidding!
[Diane:] Well I'd better go wreck me car.
[Lisa:] Yeah well... glad she liked it. Alright then love... Ta ta.... That was Auntie Diane....
[Melvin:] A bit of amber nectar would be nice.... Gonna have plenty of that tonight.... Getting your room ready we are, yeah. Here you are, look.... Getting your room ready.... Yeah.... great when you start talking won't it, eh?... Eh? Won't it be great?...
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] Ooh!... [LAUGHTER] Is that better is it?... No.... Here we got. Wheey up.... Gave the car oil a change.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Yeah right blacker than a black man.... Yeah black!
[Lisa:] Was it?
[Melvin:] Really thin as well.... Really thin.
[Lisa:] Might improve the performance a bit
[Melvin:] Yeah but I dunno how much I got in there cos I only just put so much in there so I'll check it on Monday.
[Lisa:] Yeah right.
[Melvin:] But it sounds a bit better. [LAUGHTER] Tuck a tuck tuck a tick.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]...... So what can we buy you with that money?... Eh? You need some vests don't you?... Eh?...
[Melvin:] Ooh you're standing up pretty good aren't you mate?
[Lisa:] Yeah. He hasn't got any socks on remember. [clears throat]
[Melvin:] Oh yeah.
[Lisa:] Oh yeah.
[Melvin:] So what's that... insurance thing for then?
[Lisa:] Oh that's the... life insurance.... For me and you.... So we've got to read it and sign it and we have to say that we understand it and... we've received it basically.
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] So...
[Melvin:] your balance up mate.
[Lisa:] Oh he does sometimes. When he wants to. He suddenly goes for it, you know? Sort of stands up really straight and rigid.
[Melvin:] Yeah....
[Lisa:] Guess who was er... trying to escape from his cot this morning?
[Melvin:] He was?
[Lisa:] Well you know he'd, he'd obviously gone backwards. [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] He was on his front when I looked at him.
[Lisa:] And he was making a tunnel. [LAUGHTER] When I got in it looked like a tortoise. His head sticking out from underneath the blankets. [LAUGHTER]... At least with him going backwards he can't can't
[Melvin:] Good little folder innit?
[Lisa:] Yeah.... He won't er... stay out of his covers.... He'll erm... aren't they?... Think he'll probably have some more teeth through.... You listening?
[Melvin:] Yeah....
[Peter:] [cough]
[Melvin:] Got to read all this?...
[Lisa:] Well... Sorry?
[Melvin:] ...
[Lisa:] So er that paint didn't cover the skirting board very well.
[Melvin:] It didn't?
[Lisa:] Crap. Absolute crap. You might just as well
[Melvin:] ...
[Lisa:] you might just as well have... undercoated and... put ordinary gloss on it.
[Peter:] [crying]
[Melvin:] Oh dear oh dear. What are you doing down there?
[Lisa:] I launched myself.
[Melvin:] What are you doing down there buddy?
[Lisa:] back of my head. Didn't hurt
[Melvin:] That was a silly thing to do.
[Lisa:] No!...
[Melvin:] That was a silly thing to do weren't it, eh?... Goo goo goo goo
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] He's lightning mate, I tell you.... [LAUGHTER] Nothing's safe with him, he's so quick.... There.
[Melvin:] Okay okay.... forty grand.
[Lisa:] ... Is that inflation linked?...
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] So you'll be worth quite a bit dead? In a few years time. [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] I'm worth more dead than alive....
[Lisa:] Come on mummy go and get your lunch now.
[Melvin:] But this is the insurance. This ain't the er pension?
[Lisa:] No....
[Melvin:] So if I... you get forty grand now
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] and you get a pension.
[Lisa:] Oh....
[Peter:] [crying]
[Lisa:] Alright poppet....
[Melvin:] What are you whingeing for? You.
[Peter:] [crying]
[Lisa:] No daddy, he won't know that....
[Melvin:] Ah! Guess what.... [reading] The company will pay the greater of the sum insured or the total sale value of the units remaining allocated to the account and the account will cease on the death or earlier permanent disability of Melvin or the death or earlier permanent disability of Lisa []. Ha ha ha.
[Lisa:] Ha ha ha ha.
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] So it applies to one of us.
[Lisa:] Yeah. I knew that.
[Melvin:] Well that's alright. I didn't. Right, what can I do to kill you?
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Melvin:] Well at least we know that we'll be alright if one of us does happen to die.
[Lisa:] Yeah....
[Melvin:] We'll both be financially secure.... The government won't look after us.
[Lisa:] No. It should really. Erm
[Melvin:] You may pay all them flaming taxes and you get stuff all out of it.
[Lisa:] I know.... Erm, what was I gonna say?
[Melvin:] Haven't got a clue. You ain't told me yet....
[Lisa:] Oh yes, what do you fancy for your lunch?... What do you fancy for your lunch?
[Melvin:] Food.... Bit of bread and butter.
[Lisa:] Bread and butter?... Drop of bread and dripping....
[Peter:] [crying]
[Lisa:] Oy oi oi.... Oh you mum and dad er popped round last night to see Louise. Guess what time they went round....
[Melvin:] About nine, ten o'clock?
[Lisa:] Quarter past eight. She was in bed. She normally goes to bed about half past seven. They said that's the earliest they could get up there. I said that's a load of rubbish I said cos they have fish and chips on a Friday night.
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] So she didn't have to cook....
[Melvin:] Ah they would have had to wash up the plates and the knives and forks.... But she's just one of those women who don't like leaving stuff around, you know what I mean? Once they've had something they've gotta do it before they go, can you believe. She's a right pain in the arse at times, me mum.... That's why they don't go anywhere you see.... Yeah that's why they don't come and visit us or visit his brother very often.... So why did they want to see Louise for then?
[Lisa:] It was her birthday.
[Melvin:] Oh yeah.... should have gone soon as they got out of work.
[Lisa:] Yeah. And they could have got the fish and chips on the way back couldn't they?
[Melvin:] Yeah.... What gets me......
[Lisa:] Peter! Hello. Hello.
[Melvin:] When's your birthday mate? June. Tough get no money. forget his. By the time he's about twelve or something I'll go... when's your birthday mate? [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah....
[Melvin:] June, July, something like that.... Alright. I'm looking for some smokes to smoke.
[Lisa:] They're underneath that bag.
[Melvin:] There we go mate....
[Lisa:] He sticks his tongue a lot when he's sort of gets excited or he's doing something. Looks quite funny.
[Melvin:] I know.... Wheey up!
[Lisa:] There's that... point to point racing on today.
[Melvin:] Wheey up! Wheey up. Wheey up....
[Lisa:] Yeah. Point to point today.
[Melvin:] Point to point?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] What's that?
[Lisa:] Horseracing....
[Melvin:] Yeah? What's that about then?
[Lisa:] It's at er
[Melvin:] I don't know much about them.
[Lisa:] Horseracing. Amateur. Well no, it's not but it's... they don't get paid a great deal....
[Melvin:] here, eh?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Yeah... Saw er this snazzy little... guard in. About twelve quid.
[Lisa:] Mm. Fireguard. We're gonna need one with him.
[Melvin:] Yeah, it won't go round there though....
[Lisa:] No.
[Melvin:] Erm what I'm thinking of doing is disconnecting the pipe there, and running it through... that way. And then it'll be on. Then what we've gotta do is drill through the holes, drill through there...
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] or just have it there as it is.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] It's quite easily done. All I've gotta do is just disconnect the cable. And you just turn the gas off for five minutes
[Lisa:] [cough]
[Melvin:] it's got nothing pilot light. You know, anything like that.... Could do that couldn't we?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Make su yeah I think I'll do that this weekend. Put that down on my list.... Your front teeth are growing well mate.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] They really are.
[Lisa:] He might have some top ones before long.
[Melvin:] So all them hassles what you're gonna get in the future when they... they're gonna fall out in a few years time. May get a quid if you're lucky.... Put that in your piggy bank.... Did you find his bank book?
[Lisa:] No.
[Melvin:] find it you know?
[Lisa:] Mm.... I haven't really looked for it.... oi!
[Melvin:] Want to sit on the floor mate?... Ah! Can I have the please?... Oh I had a look at that Sierra that had a front-ender. Cor there's some work on it.... Needs er... both its headlamp units, needs an indicator unit, a bonnet... front wing... bumper
[Lisa:] Mm?
[Melvin:] number plate... grill... bonnet catch...
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] What it needs. It's a lot of work. Oh an a repair to the inner wing.
[Lisa:] Who's it for?...
[Melvin:] Er
[Lisa:] Private job or
[Melvin:] his name is...., you know where you used to live? road, next road up. Which goes across
[Lisa:] ?
[Melvin:] , that's it.
[Lisa:] Adrian?
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Lee.
[Lisa:] Lee? Oh Lee! forgot about him.
[Melvin:] I should have said something
[Lisa:] He wouldn't know me.
[Melvin:] No?
[Lisa:] Adrian and Steven... those two... may do but Lee was just that little bit younger.
[Melvin:] Oh and a new rad.... radiator.
[Lisa:] yeah.... I'll get you lunch now....
[Melvin:] Ally and everybody, they were pushing this bloody mini up, is it yours? Go the other way it's easier
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] The gear weren't in first said I ain't give you a hand, standing eating chips
[Lisa:] Oh you had chips then you came home and you had bloody as well.
[Melvin:] Did I?
[Lisa:] Spilt them all over the floor oh it wasn't you it was Chris
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] You don't do it, yeah, stupid father, he didn't know what he was doing, didn't, then you sat there and fell asleep
[Melvin:] Did I?
[Lisa:] Yes
[Melvin:] No I didn't
[Lisa:] you did yeah, I was watching that erm It's Your Pry Affair on
[Melvin:] oh yeah
[Lisa:] then I watched a film on
[Melvin:] did you record it?
[Lisa:] No, Inner Space it's called and it's like a, a can you remember?
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] it's a space, putting his against this bloke
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] thing
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] well this one that was on last night it was like a of that
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] so I mean
[Melvin:] take the
[Lisa:] that was on early, so I watched that and then I watched Educating Rita, yeah
[Melvin:] it's still bloody raining
[Lisa:] mm, come on then
[Melvin:] bloody Sunday innit, the microwave then off the allotment can they?
[Lisa:] no, makes them think they might come up... do you want some porridge, mummy do you some porridge? Yuck wallpaper paint, yeah alright then...
[Melvin:] It looks great in that room...
[Lisa:] Does it?
[Melvin:] it's so bright
[Lisa:] Be lovely I know dear
[Melvin:] now it's all dry, it looks great won't it all
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] that colour there, it's all white, it's great
[Lisa:] good
[Melvin:] it had better be,
[Lisa:] yeah, lovely, your room, yes, you've been thoroughly spoilt
[Melvin:] in there
[Lisa:] sorry well what's he saying with you?
[Melvin:] you're rude
[Lisa:] No, poor little thing... You were you were well gone, is that dirty?
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] Er, tut, erm, I'll a, I'll do the ironing today, I might as well get it all out the way
[Melvin:] Yeah, is that other stuff dry?
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Melvin:] It is, really
[Lisa:] yeah, yeah, mummy's going to do your porridge
[Melvin:] Are you going to do any washing?
[Lisa:] Well there is some there to do, yeah
[Melvin:] Put the fire on in here for a little while
[Lisa:] well there's only not a great deal, I mean there's a load in there already done, I think, is it done? No it's not that it's the colour yeah that's done
[Melvin:] there's the stuff on the floor
[Lisa:] and there's that on the floor, there's a couple of loads there
[Melvin:] Loads?
[Lisa:] Yeah there's the blacks under there
[Melvin:] Oh is there? There's black upstairs
[Lisa:] and there's black upstairs, that have to be put in
[Melvin:] Do the quilt and the whites first
[Lisa:] Yeah... so I, I'll get his breakfast first
[Melvin:] Yes
[Lisa:] I'll have our breakfast and promptly threw it all up
[Melvin:] Did I put any money in there?
[Lisa:] No
[Melvin:] What, must have spent spent them last night
[Lisa:] No, you didn't put any money anywhere, cos I was sitting over there
[Melvin:] Ah I ain't got no money for you babe, oh I know what I did, I had to count twenty pence worth of co er coppers on me
[Lisa:] What you gave them to the barmaid?
[Melvin:] I gave them to the barman, I went one pound, two, four, six, eight
[Lisa:] How much was a pint, oh cos it was a pub wasn't it?
[Melvin:] One forty four
[Lisa:] It wasn't a club
[Melvin:] that was er, one forty four for Newcastle
[Lisa:] Oh what you had bottle?
[Melvin:] Yeah, I started on Yorkshire, then I had
[Lisa:] Er, it's not worth drinking
[Melvin:] I had one pint of er normal Yorkshire, my bitter's stronger than that
[Lisa:] yeah, it's not worth drinking
[Melvin:] and then I had another pint of Yorkshire, but the draught one
[Lisa:] Better?
[Melvin:] it was a bit better, still not very nice
[Lisa:] No
[Melvin:] then er, after that we were upstairs and I stayed on Newcastle
[Lisa:] mm... so there's quite a lot of people there then was there?
[Melvin:] Packed
[Lisa:] Oh that's good... did they charged to go or not?
[Melvin:] No
[Lisa:] Oh so it was like a free party type
[Melvin:] Oh yeah it was erm,
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] and then they er invite you just, some people
[Lisa:] Yes, it's good then?
[Melvin:] makes the people into going
[Lisa:] Yeah was Megan there?
[Melvin:] Oh yeah, yeah, huh, still with Dave though and er cos I wanted to go to bed and er, by the time we got rid of one lot of people another lot all came through though
[Lisa:] Oh cos he came home yesterday, did he?
[Melvin:] yesterday, and when he was coming home yesterday, he was er, spoken to John on the way to the car
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Melvin:] and er there was a, a, erm a car, a car had hit a barrier earlier on in the day
[Lisa:] mm
[Melvin:] or about five minutes earlier on the motorway and they drove over a part of the barrier, and they got a blow out didn't they?
[Lisa:] oh no
[Melvin:] They said they'd changed the wheel in about three minutes flat [LAUGHTER], I said well it wasn't Friday the thirteenth was it?
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Did you send my regards to him?
[Melvin:] Yeah, yeah, asked how you were
[Lisa:] Mm
[Melvin:] I said
[Lisa:] what he say oh my god Melvin
[Melvin:] he was going both of them going, how's your missus, some people didn't even know that you were pregnant again
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] some people, no I said she's alright, she's out here like that, ah,
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] yeah, that's it, no more, I said three I haven't slept for two years
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Hark at your daddy [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] Oh, it was quite funny
[Lisa:] Oh
[Melvin:] yeah, a lot of people didn't know you were pregnant again
[Lisa:] well no, I mean I can conceive it quite well
[Melvin:] oh yeah... poor
[Lisa:] they just look at me and say oh you know she hasn't lost any weight from the last one
[Melvin:] Yeah... no I mean, quite funny it was...
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]... well erm, I'll see if this one's a boy, probably in a couple of years we might try for a girl, I don't know
[Melvin:] No...
[Lisa:] wait
[Melvin:] wait
[Lisa:] sorry yeah
[Melvin:] wait for your body to get back to normal
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] that'll be nice, nice to fit in some clothes
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] Oh well...
[Melvin:] well I don't know how long this thing will last
[Lisa:] What thing?... oh I think I've put too much milk in this [LAUGHTER]...
[Melvin:] Yes Elaine was there
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Melvin:] er Rob was there
[Lisa:] was Tracy?
[Melvin:] No
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] all the others were there, Dean, Marg, er all the others
[Lisa:] Clive?
[Melvin:] Who?
[Lisa:] Clive
[Melvin:] Oh yeah Clive yeah, he's been ill
[Lisa:] Oh has he?
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] What's been the matter?
[Melvin:] I don't know he's some flu or something, he's been in bed for four days
[Lisa:] Oh god
[Melvin:] yeah...
[Lisa:] We'll put that in the fridge and see what that turns out like oh
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] what?
[Melvin:] I like that
[Lisa:] no, he was never a fat boy
[Melvin:] No, but he had a bit of a gut on him, a bit broad, but he was as skinny as hell he was...
[Lisa:] well I can remember him skinny from school, I can, what was you saying you don't know what'll last? Ah?
[Melvin:] What you mean?
[Lisa:] He said you were gonna give him something but you didn't know how long, long it'll last... when I was in the kitchen... you said I'll put this on but I don't know how long it'll last... no
[speaker004:] ...
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] Don't you want a drop more? Come on, cold isn't it, that's what's wrong
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] is it cold? You looking at mummy's t-shirt... oh god, you oh dear, shall mummy give you your medicine, now he, he can do it
[Melvin:] Did he put it down?
[Lisa:] Yes
[Melvin:] Can he eat
[Lisa:] oh he, he likes to mess about a little bit first... yeah, well it's no good... you like this don't you?
[Melvin:] Gazunti mate
[Lisa:] mummy give you a drop of it I think,
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] yeah, can your mother have some? Come on then... go on eat this, do you want more there?
[Melvin:] He come running down the street
[Lisa:] where's
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] mm, he licks... are you licking your lips?...
[Melvin:] Daryl was handing out the tenners I said where's my fucking, where's my tenner
[Lisa:] Oh yeah... Juliet there I suppose
[Melvin:] Oh yeah
[Lisa:] prancing around
[Melvin:] well she come over us last
[Lisa:] did she?
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] Where she live then?
[Melvin:] Up this way, down Cromwell Road yeah up there
[Lisa:] still lives with her parents don't she?
[Melvin:] Yeah then Darren went home
[Lisa:] It's a funny strange couple
[Melvin:] They are aren't they?
[Lisa:] Yeah yeah
[Melvin:] for years he... I don't know, about eighty four with a
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] oh... yeah, sorry...
[Melvin:] You've got a big tongue you have [LAUGHTER] pop it out, pop that up are you, see teddy bear, see the teddy bear
[Lisa:] Ha
[Melvin:] press the button then
[Lisa:] he tries to do it with one finger but he's just not quite strong enough
[Melvin:] Yeah, aaargh
[Lisa:] Oh, oh, oh, you made him jump
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] Oh poor thing
[Lisa:] You left the mat then
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] Oh got the, got the Oliver pout there ain't we?
[Lisa:] Oh dear
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] Peter got smiles, [baby talk] [LAUGHTER], definitely an Oliver pout he's got, yeah...
[Lisa:] What?...
[Peter:] Er
[Lisa:] er, er, alright mummy's going to see if your porridge is, cooled down a bit, oh you just do it, put you out to grass I think
[Melvin:] Want a
[Lisa:] no thank you... you stink... ooh porridge...
[Melvin:] Go upstairs and paint that room in a minute, give it two coats today
[Lisa:] it's too hot... too hot mate...
[Melvin:] Paint won't be dry will it if we start papering it?
[Lisa:] Mm
[Melvin:] Paint won't be dry enough if we start wallpapering it
[Lisa:] here are, sorry darling, oops sorry [LAUGHTER]... couldn't poison you could we? Ah
[Peter:] [baby talk]...
[Lisa:] This is really quite sweet this
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] mm... do you like porridge?
[Melvin:] yesterday
[Lisa:] No you left him a note didn't you?
[Melvin:] Yeah I know I left him a note, I just wondered if you did see
[Lisa:] No, I don't know what it, he didn't bang on the doors, I was hoovering at the time... Is that nice? Mm, is it?
[Melvin:] Well he must have think got a lot of good customer here...
[Lisa:] Yes
[Melvin:] had me up having four or five pints a day you know
[Lisa:] Mm, oh he'll have a pint a day
[Melvin:] really, the next will have a pint that's two, I'll have a pint that's three, you, four
[Lisa:] Peter... now where you going? Can you eat your breakfast first before you go on your little walk about... here I am, poppet... oop...
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] mm...
[Melvin:] must make sure that motor got a wing
[Lisa:] mm, mm... just wondering what to have... next [LAUGHTER] come on sit back He wants the dish
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Lisa:] Oop, come on sit back, please sit back... oh you think you're very clever aren't you?... Where you going, ah? Keep there, go on sit back, sit back, good boy, ah, yeah, look, come on, come on sit back, well you're finished with your breakfast then, here you are, here you are...
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] here you are, Peter, I know you like doing your acrobatic, come on... he knows to sit down to eat this breakfast, I can have an contortionist... here are, quite like this, here it is this disgusting baby food you get, ugh...
[Melvin:] Sure we need this rain don't we?
[Lisa:] Yeah, we do, the gardens do, come on, please poppet... come on...
[Melvin:] I can't wait to start on that Spitfire this week
[Lisa:] No Oh yeah she wants it this month don't she?
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] Er?
[Melvin:] that one side together
[Lisa:] Yeah, Peter, Peter, oh dear mummy feels pretty rough this morning
[Melvin:] Do you?
[Lisa:] Mm... Peter... oh this child... come on... likes this don't you? Mm... come on then, oh you're going that way now are you? Here you are, wonder if your aunty will come round today
[Melvin:] Who?
[Lisa:] I wonder if Aunty Ann will come round today... er if not, suppose we could go round and see her... if she's about, getting withdrawal symptoms, won't she?... Come on, er Peter come on mummy's dropping porridge everywhere, have you had enough now?... Ah?... Come on I've got to wipe your face, oops
[Melvin:] Ah
[Lisa:] have you had enough, you've eat quite a lot haven't you? You want some more, shall we try you with a little bit more?... Sit
[Melvin:] paint innit?
[Lisa:] oh whoopy, here you are, Peter, good boy...
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] Aren't there Grand Prix on?
[Melvin:] No
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] mummy will most surprised if you eat all this... come on then, have you had enough? I think you might have... here you are, oh yeah, blimey, what you trying to do?... Are you? What you trying to do?
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] Mummy's leg, yes... is that better daddy? Is that better?
[Melvin:] Mm, alright, thanks
[Lisa:] Mm, how does your head feel now?
[Melvin:] A lot better
[Lisa:] Good... eighteen minutes past ten and you're still eating your breakfast
[Melvin:] [sneeze] Well that's on bloody telly today... excuse me... of guinness records
[Lisa:] It's alright you've got plenty to do
[Melvin:] Sorry?
[Lisa:] You've got plenty to do
[Melvin:] Oh yeah... mm that costs a lot that mm, wanna watch Love Two tonight
[Lisa:] You wanna watch Love Two, why?
[Melvin:] Just want to.
[Lisa:] Oh there's that new Carla Lane thing on, it's Screaming, sounds pretty good
[Melvin:] What channel?
[Lisa:] Er B B C one I think
[Melvin:] Yeah, a new Carla Lane comedy
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Melvin:] Give it a go, watch European again I suppose
[Lisa:] Listen here darling there's a man in
[Melvin:] er... that means I can't watch er Maigret
[Lisa:] Why?
[Melvin:] if we watch the
[Lisa:] that's alright I don't really like Maigret anyway
[Melvin:] No
[Lisa:] it's a bit too er... good for words... you know what I mean?
[Melvin:] with Roger Daltry... pin machines on tonight, never heard of it, oh it's David Bowie's group, that's it, ah I'll record that
[Lisa:] [cough]
[Melvin:] Erm, they don't show any more musical telly these days
[Lisa:] Mm, you're attacking mummy now are you? What time's that on?
[Melvin:] Eleven forty
[Lisa:] Oh dear mummy will be well in bed by then... where you going? Well look at this daddy he's eaten a whole bowlful of it yeah
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] Whoops someone must have been hungry, or you must like it
[Peter:] [baby talk]...
[Lisa:] normally have a job to get one Weetabix down him, come on then one more spoonful
[Melvin:] Yeah I think I'm gonna change some of my videos
[Lisa:] What do you mean? oh alright, what about me if I want a film?
[Melvin:] What?
[Lisa:] What about me if I want a film?
[Melvin:] Well the bloke still brings them round
[Lisa:] there's some good films coming out
[Melvin:] Ah?
[Lisa:] There's some good films coming out
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] I think My
[Melvin:] yeah, yeah that's what I mean, you can have
[Lisa:] My Left Foot is on
[Melvin:] Oh no we'll have er the videos that we're gonna watch... you know I've got twenty odd videos there and we're not using any of them, apart from what's on the top, we're gradually filling these up
[Lisa:] No, I think that's on in the week, My Left Foot
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] it's erm...
[Melvin:] well I like watching some of these but I don't know
[Lisa:] I don't know whether you'd like that or not, you might do, he got er, er, an Oscar for it, Daniel Day Lewis
[Melvin:] Yeah, we've got all those videos there love and not got a thing on them no, the music ones they can stay, they'd be alright in the future
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Melvin:] but
[Lisa:] maybe... doesn't really interest me... you gonna get dressed or something or
[Melvin:] Ah?
[Lisa:] Gonna get dressed? you make me feel cold sitting there with no t-shirt on, er... oh... big bowlful of breakfast you'll go pop, you do it yourself?...
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Melvin:] Yeah so he don't get his knees cold
[Lisa:] Yeah so he can play on the floor
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] They did it, they did it
[Melvin:] Who? I didn't do it
[Lisa:] No... where's his clothes then daddy?
[Melvin:] Er?
[Lisa:] So where's his clothes?
[Melvin:] I don't know, bring any down
[Lisa:] Oh, give him the sack or what
[Melvin:] down here sexy
[Lisa:] Pardon?
[Melvin:] they're usually down here
[Lisa:] No they're not... no come on we'll have the lid off that thank you, you can go down, mummy can get you some clothes to wear... oh
[Melvin:] What?
[speaker004:] ...
[Melvin:] Boo... want your dummy to suck do you?...
[Lisa:] You don't wanna give him any of that, throw it all over him... yeah, this is what your going to wear today, yep... er... oh I didn't bring any socks did I? I your mother's useless... she is, she's er come on porridge chops... [LAUGHTER]... ooh, that's a wet one innit? Oh dear is it worth it?...
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] Oh dear...
[Peter:] [baby talk]...
[Lisa:] we are in trouble... that you again, won't I?
[Melvin:] never dry
[Lisa:] No they wouldn't would they, when the weather cheers up ah mate? Sorry got some money in there, OK... oh do your ballerina bit, we'll have to wash your face, yeah it's filthy, filthy face, breakfast face... oh that's that new twins isn't it?
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] What, what... ah...
[Melvin:] ha...
[Lisa:] Come on... no where you going, trying to stand up, no don't you try to pull this off, trying to make this one come undone... wow, oh yes... teddy, dad... [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] you're like in
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] [singing] Ooh we, well he's so fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, so fine ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, he's so fine... girl you ever wanna meet... oh, oh, oh, oh,... yo, oh, oh, oh, dance then rrrrrp petite the finest girl you ever wanna meet... try for, die for... it's all fine... she's really sweet the finest girl you ever wanna meet... die for, so sweet, oh, oh, right... oh, oh, oh, oh,... oh, oh, oh, oh... []
[Melvin:] Look at this
[Lisa:] [singing] Reap petit the finest girl [] what in
[Melvin:] here
[Lisa:] let me night, bless mummy and dad [singing] die for, sweet for... she's got what it takes, she's everything that the boy really rate, oh... cutie, my tooty fruity, my heart, my love... she's oh, oh right, she's got just what it takes, she's got what it takes and with a boogy, really, really rates, oh, oh, oh, oh, yo, oh, oh, oh... rrrrrp petit the finest girl you ever wanna meet... rrrrp petit the finest girl you ever wanna meet... rrrrp petit the finest girl you ever wanna meet []...
[Peter:] [baby talk]...
[Lisa:] What you doing?... Oh look at that weather
[Melvin:] In for the day that is
[Peter:] Da
[Lisa:] That's your face... you have a bath tonight, you want those feet, go on then go and get them, go get them Floyd...
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] going backwards, you said forward, got to get it forward, one, two, three, four... one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four...
[Peter:] [baby talk]...
[Lisa:] Shall mummy go and find you some socks?
[Melvin:] Oh, just about go to the loo...
[Lisa:] What you doing? What you doing? Ah?... Do you want a drop more milk, eh? Yeah, do you want any breakfast?
[Melvin:] No, that'll do for now thanks love
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] is that a brunch?... Have a breakfast for lunch sort of thing
[Lisa:] Oh I'll see how I am, I'll get him some socks, watch him... ugh
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] and waste him [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Oh... Just had to go to the toilet didn't I?
[Melvin:] No
[Lisa:] Yeah, right that's oh yeah
[Melvin:] I wanted to see
[Lisa:] see the jump, you didn't put his teddies up last night
[Melvin:] Yeah, I know
[Lisa:] Oh I didn't realise
[Melvin:] he's alright
[Lisa:] Is he OK?
[Melvin:] Yeah what, that mobile up in there can't we?...
[Lisa:] What mobile?
[Melvin:] That teddy bear one... that can go there
[Lisa:] Yeah [LAUGHTER], you looking at daddy's feet, I'll get his erm, his cot in here now
[Melvin:] Yeah, do you wanna find that beef and that
[Lisa:] oh yeah
[Melvin:] what would you like to slot that in?
[Lisa:] I've forgotten the bowl, ugh, oh dear oh dear...
[Melvin:] yeah... are we regurgitating mate?
[Lisa:] Yeah it does a bit don't it?... Hello, thank you, er, er, er, er... ah there... teddy
[speaker004:] ...
[Melvin:] Water's in the tank?
[Lisa:] Sorry oh, erm... ah... There we are then boy... I got you, you doing now? That's something different for you ain't it? Ah?... Come on then, way up...
[Melvin:] Right, I'm going upstairs now
[Lisa:] OK
[Melvin:] paint with the doors, OK? In fact I'm taller than the doors
[Lisa:] Oh alright
[Peter:] [crying]
[Lisa:] Where are you going?...
[Melvin:] Too long
[Lisa:] Too long, I said it would be...
[Melvin:] That's a shame
[Lisa:] You make a tea?
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] Come on then, you can't sit back there, ooh... oh you wanna stand up then, come on then, come on... ooh, go on then, we'll go and see daddy, come on then [LAUGHTER] come on then, come on then, come on move it... move it, come on move your foot, over there I think... come on then, come on, oh rrrm, rrrm, rrrm, rrrm, rrrm, who's that?... Say daddy
[Melvin:] Oh hello
[Lisa:] come on then, rrrm, rrrm, run
[Melvin:] what you doing mate? Ah?
[Lisa:] come on, he don't like to swing his legs very much he does the whole body
[Melvin:] Mind the flower behind you
[Lisa:] Yeah, it's alright I'm giving up now anyway
[Melvin:] Who's a clever boy, ah, who's a clever boy?... You are ain't you mate clever boy
[Lisa:] Oh, er, he wants some medicine
[Melvin:] are you clever boy ain't you?
[Lisa:] Oh you're kicking baby, he really clings on here now, don't he?
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] Shall I give you a drop of medicine?... Way up, here would you like to in the steriliser please... he's ooh it's turn on tap... right [LAUGHTER] it's your medicine...
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] the spoon's on the towel, oh
[Melvin:] Oh
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] dad is incompetent... tastes like custard,
[Melvin:] Does it?
[Lisa:] don't it? Yeah
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] oh yeah...
[Melvin:] Are you sticking your tongue out at daddy are you?
[Lisa:] Yes... here I am... lift him, so erm... yeah so you just do a grey and the green
[Melvin:] Well I can first
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] cos as I say got enough
[Lisa:] Enough what?
[Melvin:] Erm rooms through there
[Lisa:] Oh room above above the
[Melvin:] Yes, so what I'll do is
[Lisa:] I should think you will have
[Melvin:] What I'll do darling is that all the tiles will come through about there...
[Lisa:] I mean if you did to the edge of the bath
[Melvin:] I'll leave that gap there... and I'll crossed out six, eight tiles there, OK?
[Lisa:] Yeah, fine
[Melvin:] and then er when you do grab a we'll put something there, what most of the tiles on
[Lisa:] Yeah, fine
[Melvin:] say about eight tiles
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Melvin:] over the area
[Lisa:] Oh, good idea, oh
[Melvin:] if anybody asks, I thought I know put cupboard there
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Melvin:] another way, you might have to rip off three or four whatever, four or five maybe
[Lisa:] Well, yeah
[Melvin:] better than not being able to afford to do it at the moment,
[Lisa:] Yeah... hello baby, you'll go floppy backwards, you will, shake your head at me... oh... right... mm... ah
[Melvin:] Has he had a wash?
[Lisa:] Sorry, no, you OK?...
[Melvin:] Who's coming?...
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Peter:] [baby talk]...
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] What are you doing?
[Melvin:] Me?
[Lisa:] No Peter, no, no, come this way... come and see mummy, come on, come on... come on... come on, what you shaking your head for, you not gonna come? Peter come on you do your acrobatics this way... Can you hear what they're saying?
[Melvin:] No
[Lisa:] conception where and when was it?... Here are... mine, don't put them in your mouth why, are they I didn't see that, sorry... oh useless... the things they on here...
[speaker004:] ...
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] [growl]...
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] ooh, what have you got Peter, mummy's got it now ha, ha, ha, ha... you're not bothered then, don't bother him, put it back on the bottle
[Melvin:] Right
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] no I think I can go over there now, thank you, here are look what about this? [squeaks toy]...
[Peter:] [belch]
[Lisa:] Pardon?...
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] I mean that was really, really turn that didn't you, you went to the other side and turn it over... your come on then... foot's to, yeah a bit of an adjustment I think you need... [LAUGHTER]... you're funny, you are, come on then... come on then, right, hold that, you'll finish off the carpet anyway, here are then, ta, ta... where you gone? Where you gone? Come on you can roll over, here are, come on you can roll over...
[Peter:] [baby talk]...
[Lisa:] you gonna sit up? Sit up then, you sit up? Go on then sit up
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] no, you sit up, go on then, oh I did, pulled his arm... see what he does, the old tongue hanging out, what you doing?
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] His legs are getting a lot stronger now
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] cos when you, he, he flexes them, you trying to change his nap, bend his knee or something you can't
[Melvin:] No
[Lisa:] no,
[Peter:] [cough]
[Lisa:] oh dear...
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] Ha, his new noise obviously, your new noise?... Debbie's boys
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] aren't you?
[Melvin:] No
[Lisa:] You're also on the move
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] take for that now, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... Peter, yes, yes...
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Melvin:] Quite a strong lad
[Lisa:] when he grabs a thing, he really goes it really, don't you? Ah?... Very intent he is... what's your dad doing? Is he pulling faces at you?
[Peter:] [baby talk]
[Lisa:] How are you are you getting bored now are you?... Sorry
[Melvin:] [yawn] Oh I
[Lisa:] well you've had more sleep than I have... oh sometimes did you have? Ah not gonna have to many, I'll take it nice and steady, yeah I bet you
[Melvin:] I had a Yorkshire, can't even get a I had a Yorkshire at half past seven then I had another one at eight
[Lisa:] Yeah, are you listening to him
[Melvin:] I had another at ten to eight
[Lisa:] yeah are you listening to him
[Melvin:] and then I had another one at half past eight, that was three, I had another pint at about another three more...
[Lisa:] Yeah, we know... we've been there before haven't we?
[Melvin:] We have, who's we were? What pissed? Ah?
[Lisa:] when I was first pregnant, cos I didn't realize I was pregnant
[Melvin:] Yeah, you might end up seeing he might
[Lisa:] No I don't think so... ah no not in front of me thank you
[Melvin:] let him take them off
[Lisa:] Oh god, oh disgusting creature, don't go near him either... poo, mm, nice and smell erm boy, you wait until you get a whiff of it... feet, don't he?
[Melvin:] Yeah...
[Lisa:] Cos every move we see him go
[Melvin:] who his one?
[Lisa:] no, oh, I won't be able to go outside though will I?
[Melvin:] I'll do it
[Lisa:] What go up a ladder?
[Melvin:] Have me hand outside
[Lisa:] Mm Ha, ha, thank you Peter, oh... that's the biggest ice cream to...
[Melvin:] His mother buys him ice cream
[Lisa:] Yeah...
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] I'd expect Tracy would want one [LAUGHTER], don't you queue up
[Melvin:] Do you want one dear?... Do you want one?
[speaker004:] Yeah...
[Lisa:] Dinner's at two ninety nine
[Melvin:] Pass
[speaker004:] ...
[Melvin:] I don't want it down there... That was quick
[Lisa:] [yawn], never mind
[speaker004:] ...
[Melvin:] she did
[speaker004:] Yeah
[Lisa:] Two ice creams
[Melvin:] Yeah, get you a small one and all babe
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]...
[speaker004:] I'm going to bed now...
[Lisa:] Aaagh I wouldn't touch those Peter, oh no aaagh, aaagh god put them away [LAUGHTER] he's gotten your feet tickled
[Melvin:] Yeah... [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Oh, ho
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] pervert you
[Melvin:] What do you mean pervert?...
[Lisa:] Oh
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] He's
[Melvin:] He's
[Lisa:] I think he's trying to eat your toes
[Melvin:] Errup
[Lisa:] Yeah [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Oh dear... oh er... imagine that ah
[Melvin:] You don't really want to stuff that in your gob mate
[Lisa:] Yeah, he would, I suppose he's been eating his own toes all day
[Melvin:] Yeah... you've had a look upstairs?
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Melvin:] What you reckon?
[Lisa:] Alright... it's alright
[Melvin:] Testing, testing, one, two, three, four, [mucking about] sorry?
[Lisa:] You
[Melvin:] OK then, I'll put this in the bedroom then, not that it's not really draughty
[Lisa:] Only a bit, that wants a wash don't it, you can have a bath
[Melvin:] The packets there, what's that for?
[Lisa:] Oh How are you?
[Anne:] Oh a lot better today
[Lisa:] Come on then... come, do you like doing it? Bouncing on my leg and then he gets up on he holds himself on the sofa...
[Anne:] Ooh aren't you clever? Aren't you clever? Oh you are, you are clever, But him, he said oh well
[speaker004:] ...
[Anne:] And he said oh no I told him if I I ain't never get anything else for, when I go on holiday, but I said I don't even think we're never going on holiday, mind you,
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] anyhow but I'm ever so pleased that she got her So who needs It's alright, could I I mean you know you've
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] had her there, when she said when Charles makes an old man, she said about erm, burning his and so that, mum had asked so I said the next best thing I said is ring Sarah and she said she'd already sent a gift, no have a conversation with her, is Lorraine coming today, no she said Terry's decorating... never said where I said well
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] and er, so she said you know so I said I thank you oh they are, they're going to France
[Lisa:] Yeah, I ain't said anything to her though
[Anne:] She ain't worth saying anything is she?
[Lisa:] Aye
[Anne:] So is this
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] But er, oh she said I she said she ain't seen him since oh well before Christmas
[Lisa:] Really?
[Anne:] then she said they've been down at the this time of year
[Lisa:] Yeah, do you want some tea?
[Anne:] Yeah, why not.
[Lisa:] He needed that
[Anne:] Come on then let's have a look at you, we don't want a do we?
[Lisa:] Oh he's alright.
[Anne:] yeah, er that'll be nice to have you suck your dummy, don't we, ah? Yeah mummy was poorly last night
[Lisa:] I was only sick
[Anne:] Yeah
[Lisa:] about ten past one, well I had indigestion all night and I could feel it, and we'd had our tea and I thought oh I don't know, but I went to bed feeling alright and suddenly I woke up I thought oh my god I'm gonna be sick, I come running down stairs, but you know I was, I was sick but I know I hadn't finished and I'd sat down and I was sick three times. Went to bed about two...
[Anne:] I'm standing like said I overslept
[Lisa:] Yeah... yeah so we didn't get up till late this morning
[Anne:] I was thinking of going round the time, but I shall go this afternoon, it's Did you feel alright this morning?
[Lisa:] Yeah not too bad, a bit sort of groggy I think cos I was up
[Anne:] Yeah, right... Rupert oh you shuffle round the pains in the back of me head and down me shoulders
[Lisa:] No
[Anne:] he's tried to ain't he?
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] I remember I had such a strain one, I just couldn't find it quick enough
[Lisa:] Oh
[Anne:] it's just horrible
[Lisa:] right
[Anne:] yeah, they'll miserable them aren't they?
[Lisa:] Yeah, it's good, sit and watch the television down here...
[Anne:] I don't know Oh I say I know my two and... goodness
[speaker004:] ...
[Anne:] and she's never rung up and said anything about the shirts and trousers, but it wouldn't hurt would it?
[Lisa:] No...
[Anne:] And daddy's been busy on your mum then has he darling?
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] in that new room, oh you don't want to shake your head, even I
[Lisa:] Yeah We'll get everything sorted out this week, we'll, we'll move him at the weekend
[Anne:] Lovely
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] Aren't you lucky? You'll have a big room all on your own, yes, a nice big room
[Lisa:] Yeah, it's lovely. The, sod of a paper though, it's horrible paper that Disney, I didn't know how he got it up, it's, it's only thin
[Anne:] What, thin? I thought it would be
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] If I'd
[Lisa:] No, no, but yeah it was, it was awful paper, but I mean you'd got it up as long as you don't look too closely, it's got it's own, some of have
[Anne:] Can grandma have a look? Can gran have a look?
[Lisa:] Yes
[Anne:] Shall we go and have a look?
[Lisa:] some of the joins have got to be touched up yet.
[Anne:] I'll tell you what they've got in erm erm lovely swingtop bins in PoundStretchers, er with Disney on for
[Lisa:] Oh yeah
[Anne:] It's got deep red or green
[Lisa:] right
[Anne:] I wondered if it and it
[Lisa:] Oh right.
[Anne:] let's go and have a look then, shall we? You'll have to take more and more film of him, then it's lovely when you look back on it
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] and I'll have Judy do it. Has he
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] Oh good
[Lisa:] I think it's erm...
[Anne:] I wasn't sure about it at the time
[Lisa:] No
[Anne:] It looks nice
[Lisa:] jumper, did you have a bit of a hot flush? A bit warm this morning...
[Anne:] Not been able to er
[Lisa:] yeah
[Anne:] and I went to see the old chap, cos he's got the election
[Lisa:] Oh were they?
[Anne:] I thought Oh alright then pet, mummy's finished now, do his fit him?
[Lisa:] They're a little bit big
[Anne:] Oh well I've brought, I've got, there was a size under that
[Lisa:] Yeah, but
[Anne:] but he's, he's got a chubby foot
[Lisa:] yeah, no they're a little bit big so, yeah they look nice though, he likes a bath
[Anne:] Good, oh
[Lisa:] So I've put the in, in his baby walk and he's sort of
[Anne:] he were ever so good and I was told about all these and he told me about Thomas the Tank engine, everywhere we went
[Lisa:] Ah
[Anne:] absolutely crazed on Thomas the Tank
[Lisa:] really?
[Anne:] Cos then it's something that's done him good and it's learnt him to talk cos he's had Thomas erm
[Lisa:] yeah
[Anne:] without putting it on.
[Lisa:] Oh, well perhaps we'll get him some of Thomas the Tank for his birthday then, if we've forgotten it, biscuit... Did you go swimming on Thursday?...
[speaker004:] ...
[Anne:] Friday
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] I've not seen them before
[Lisa:] No
[Anne:] Nearly I said to her did they in there mind, I've bought you some chicken portions so when you're here next week you've got chicken portions... You're a happy little soul. Has he lost a bit of weight?
[Lisa:] Yeah, I have, of course he didn't really eat last week, especially
[Anne:] really for him, ain't you? In fact it'll help him chest wise won't it?
[Lisa:] Yeah, he's a lot better, you can't hear it now. Yeah, we've found something he likes for breakfast... it's called Quakerwake, it's erm porridge with little bits of food in it
[Anne:] Oh lovely.
[Lisa:] he eats a big bowlful.
[Anne:] It's good for him.
[Lisa:] He likes that.
[Anne:] What you doing, cutting down a bit on his milk?
[Lisa:] Yeah, I do him cows milk during the day, he has er two bottles of that cows milk and then he has a, a big bottle of formula milk at night, so...
[Anne:] I brought him it, erm, a lunch box with a flask in, I said, look this flask you suck it like a straw, so get him to take that everywhere with him cos then he can have that, then he, cos you said you wanted to get him off the bottles, cos you put the straw in that
[Lisa:] Yeah yeah
[Anne:] time they've been round the floor and picked up again they're not that good are they?
[Lisa:] No cos the health visitor, she, cos I asked her about sterilizing, and, and she said with all teats they should be sterilized no matter what age they are
[Anne:] Mm
[Lisa:] so, they're so, they've got all nooks and crannies in them, you can get all sorts in them yeah...
[Anne:] apparently it's only sixty P I think it was Thomas the Tank, all Thomas books and you can get crayons to do with it
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] so he had that out, he just crayoning a bit now
[Lisa:] Oh is he?
[Anne:] Mm
[Lisa:] That's good
[speaker004:] ...
[Anne:] I don't know whether I want
[speaker004:] ...
[Anne:] Except I
[Lisa:] Let's zip your suit up dear
[Anne:] And when we spend so I thought as soon as I can get to see her I'll see if she'll give Jim my, I thought an aran cardigan
[Lisa:] Mm
[Anne:] cardigan mm, I've got mum a nice cardigan and Lucy said it fits him lovely, but she was saving all the blue clothes Amy's three tomorrow, so she'll give them to her tomorrow, she
[speaker004:] ...
[Anne:] so had the party in
[Lisa:] So what's that
[speaker004:] ...
[Anne:] I say to Lee didn't you, you take on having her
[speaker004:] ...
[Anne:] it's alright when it's your own at the time because well it's, it's different, when there's another one there, I mean it, it wears you out... so...
[Lisa:] Thank you for them, thank you for
[Anne:] Ooh you are funny... you are funny, yeah. Couldn't believe any difference of him from Christmas when he didn't say anything
[Lisa:] to know
[Anne:] to know, we don't say, had to talk to him through the Christmas presents it was lovely. I wonder if, if that I'd put that out with them two tapes and take to Julie to put them on a big tape for you. Pat rung up and wanted me to fetch the dressing table on Tuesday night I said yeah alright I'll do Wednes but I forgot I was going out with the girls Wednesday so I went out Tuesday and she wouldn't let me have it, cos Tuesdays they're not working in the kitchen...
[Lisa:] Really?
[Anne:] Oh god wouldn't take her five minutes, so she sat so I thought, I can help you lift them outside, no Tuesday night is my night in the kitchen. I only got inside the front door cos it's Tuesday night her night in the kitchen, so I went back home and he didn't half swear at me, he said you bloody well go again you want your head tested, I could have cried I thought oh well cos I didn't feel like rushing around I was telling them so she said I said to her how much the old front so I said put it down me she stuck it outside
[Lisa:] Well, you, oh
[Anne:] yeah but, you know, it's and that a week before it happened, what's happened to her, cos she don't hear from her, and she said you know, I, it's been twenty five years since my mum died Anne, she said and if I didn't make a life, would have come to me
[Lisa:] No
[Anne:] she said and now I'm finishing school I still need them sometimes for a meal and then I'm going out in the W R V S shop, something like that in the chain,
[Lisa:] yeah
[Anne:] then you don't need people why nobody's going to buy Sometimes you felt like saying
[Lisa:] Yeah, yeah, well not if you ask, I mean if you ask somebody to come and help you
[Anne:] I think it would have took us oh no, no, and don't come too early she said...
[Lisa:] She's really gone funny ain't she?
[Anne:] She is unsettled. I think if she hadn't gone away at Christmas she would have gone round the bend
[Lisa:] would have been somebody a counsellor or something.
[Anne:] I mean he fancied having a day off to the anniversary of them dying, she had a day off then like she did at Christmas... and then, then a different one dies, really think one of that didn't she?
[Lisa:] Really
[Anne:] I mean she had plenty of warning it happening to her
[Lisa:] yeah
[Anne:] couldn't tell Pat
[Lisa:] Yeah...
[Anne:] yeah I mean, she weren't that good with her when she was alive
[Lisa:] No I think it's guilty, that's what that is
[Anne:] Yeah, that's it
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] There's er, there's an organisation with erm, er voluntary, where they go and they talk to her
[Lisa:] Cruse
[Anne:] Cruse, yeah Mrs went to and then she began to open up didn't she?
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] But you see she ain't a person you could say that to Ida is she?
[Lisa:] No...
[Anne:] I mean when, when, when she was home she could have spent the evening with us when all the children were there and joined in but she wouldn't, she cleared out back and that's how Julie heard
[Lisa:] Yeah, yeah. Well if she gets funny again just turn around and say Pat well I think you need some help.
[Anne:] I think Grace and come in that day and she sat up the table with the boys and had a dish of she said, I've got Jack's and mine dinner cooking she said we've got 'tatoe's with crust round today
[Lisa:] Oh yeah [LAUGHTER]
[Anne:] now I'm having time with her. I mean she loves it with the kids
[Lisa:] Yeah...
[Anne:] I found a frame now I ain't got and I've got a frame big enough for Joseph
[Lisa:] Oh yeah
[Anne:] shame, I still have a frame
[Lisa:] No, I daren't tell her
[Anne:] Are you busy? It is a lovely ball, are you busy? Ah are you busy? Yeah, I think you are, had a stick of rock, yeah, aren't you lucky. Don't forget April the first that's Uncle Tom's birthday, I knew that one, I never thought to say that, but
[Lisa:] No, I, I knew it was some time but I just... I remembered Louise's birthday because Louise's birthday was the Friday the thirteenth
[Anne:] And was she two?
[Lisa:] No Louise she was, oh no two, six...
[Anne:] And how is she?
[Lisa:] She's alright yeah, well I, I bought her a book but it's one of these, it's like a talking book a Disney one, it's got like a keyboard down the side and you press certain pads and it makes a noise and I thought oh rather than just getting an ordinary book, I thought that would be quite good
[Anne:] Yeah
[Lisa:] Yeah, but it's erm
[Anne:] Did she have a party or anything?
[Lisa:] No, no...
[Anne:] Different what a party makes...
[Lisa:] There there's a good boy
[Anne:] I was pleased that Sarah was trying to like that in a way because I think my lens you know, know what we're going through don't she?
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] She you couldn't hold a conversation she said with her, said yes or no, of course that baffled Lynsey, cos Lynsey and Pat, you know they got talkative at first Pat told me
[speaker004:] Bloody cheek, she
[Anne:] on the phone cos we only speak once a week, well I don't think and that, so...
[Lisa:] Charles is very much like that on the phone, you can't get a conversation out of him
[Anne:] Well it's in the it's when you go in there, you spend awful lot of funds sort of thing that's how much you feel
[Lisa:] Yeah, yeah, you know used to phone up and you used to think well what have you phoned up for, [LAUGHTER] cos you end up talking
[Anne:] Yeah
[Lisa:] and talking
[Anne:] and she said if they didn't phone they would never know they were alive, oh well.
[Lisa:] Oh
[Anne:] One thing she won't be remembered for
[Lisa:] no it's not
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] Well at least we say hello
[Anne:] We'd better get, what some of the old dears are up to
[Lisa:] Oh yeah, I'll go and see what she's doing...
[Anne:] Playing with the bairn
[Lisa:] Yeah he's oh when I phoned up you,
[Anne:] Got a phone, you going to play with your own phone
[Lisa:] He likes that one nan, what if you, pick up the phone and dial and start talking to somebody he sits there and he's in fits of laughter, he loves it.
[Anne:] I thought it was Ben yesterday afternoon I dropped Lynsey's thing in with Ben down there and it's Jack, I like John, I like to speak to John, so I said John I think it's Tommy for you, but then he said no it's Jack, and he said you know I'm having a clear out and he promised him a tin
[Lisa:] Might be from one of the holidays [LAUGHTER]
[Anne:] Scarborough
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] That's that's your
[Anne:] Yeah, when I come back, we that the swimming pool was being filled up in the
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] I expect it is warmer than
[Lisa:] Oh yeah Oh yeah, mummy jacuzzi's, trouble is you get in there and you don't want to get out
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] I think we're gonna put erm... erm... the carpet, yeah put old carpet in his room, I don't want to, but yeah, yeah Erm, Joe's gone to Luton Oh yeah, I think so.
[Anne:] Er, erm a Vax machine he said no if you want one, I'll get one and then he said Julie's work with Obart, works with the computers and works for Obart, like all the machines or something, when he comes in I said have you bought my hoover? Bought a Vax, they said no they're a con don't worry, he said with a little bit of luck you'll get one that'll be free, you'll have to give a report on it once a month, then about after nine months they give it to you... if they thought if I had to pay for it I thought something like that would be quite handy to have
[Lisa:] Yeah...
[Anne:] I'd like my pink carpet up this year, cos after we had it down the electricity come and it's a bit bobbly this part, once you've got your
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] Otherwise it's still wear it
[Lisa:] yeah, it does they will won't they?
[Anne:] it's not they'll have a go, they'll have a go at anything now, she was just a she was walking round Saturday you know, I said look be careful cos you won't get your head through the door [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] No, but I think it's worth knowing yeah
[Anne:] Is that your room done all upstairs nice and trendy?
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Anne:] nice and clean innit?
[Lisa:] Yeah, yeah, yeah we was erm
[Anne:] That fire man has he came to do the gas fire yet then?
[Lisa:] No not yet
[speaker004:] ...
[Anne:] But ain't it a in the paper yesterday, and the couple I know they've got three children, but I can't see how they can move they took out a mortgage from six years ago, about six years ago, sixty four thousand and they owe seventy three now... but I, he says he didn't, I mean, since she's had the chop, but between having the first and then having the twins, the second, she went back to work then at the Building Society, so she's got a cheaper mortgage, so why didn't they pay some off then?
[Lisa:] They've been with the mortgage didn't they?
[Anne:] stupid innit? He's got a company car so he don't have that with that
[Lisa:] no
[Anne:] oh my darling we're going to see dad now. You're gonna see, go to bed one night so John see you. I ain't seen that Smithy this week well he did love his Christmas one
[speaker004:] ...
[Anne:] She ain't chucking up this time, he said
[Lisa:] Yeah I will
[Anne:] That's hope the holiday does us good... that's the washing machine Is that going round?
[Lisa:] Yes.
[Anne:] Some babies sit in front of them and go asleep
[Lisa:] Oh [LAUGHTER]
[Anne:] Oh yeah
[speaker004:] ... [baby crying]
[Melvin:] What were you after?...
[Lisa:] Do you want them?
[Melvin:] Yeah...
[Lisa:] Alright?...
[Melvin:] Got a lot of lights, good job we're not
[Lisa:] Yeah
[speaker004:] ... [tv news]
[Melvin:] Peter... Peter... Peter, daddy hit you on the nut did he? Ah... ooh you want that bit of bread do you, ooh. Ooh you want the remote control do you, ooh, tough titty... no, thank you Peter
[Lisa:] Are you going to eat your
[Melvin:] get away from here, I can't see for the flaming... Oh yeah, yeah sorry...
[speaker004:] ......
[Lisa:] You've got some mate, don't worry... Mm, lovely bread... mm, mm, mm... Mum thinks the decoration it's lovely, she said tell him you've done a really good job, shush
[Melvin:] See that... Peter
[Lisa:] yeah, she thinks it's great...
[Melvin:] good boy...
[Lisa:] Yeah, he's feeling a lot better today as well
[Melvin:] er?
[Lisa:] feeding much better today
[Melvin:] Oh was he?
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Melvin:] I'll suspect get it by the time they go...
[Lisa:] Oh that's clever, [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]... me that
[Melvin:] Yeah...
[Lisa:] say about badge's
[Melvin:] Well at least they're doing something about it
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] for once for the environment,
[Lisa:] Yeah...
[Melvin:] I come home a little bit earlier tonight
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] get that room finished... now I've wallpapered
[Lisa:] right
[Melvin:] it'll take a while... try and get the border thing across
[Lisa:] Mm
[speaker004:] ...
[Melvin:] We got it
[Lisa:] Well
[Melvin:] done later
[Lisa:] yeah I think for now.
[Peter:] Please
[Melvin:] Oh yeah
[speaker004:] ...
[Melvin:] Seen this kid
[Lisa:] Sorry
[Melvin:] seen this kid
[Lisa:] What's he doing?
[Melvin:] look, quickly...
[Lisa:] what?...
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Peter, you don't shift
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] he was sucking it, he was doing something else, he go
[Lisa:] oh yeah, he'd got wire mesh, cos I laughed at him he pulled it away and hit his head
[speaker004:] ...
[Melvin:] Getting the cheeky side out of him now
[Lisa:] yeah it is...
[Melvin:] Well mate you a cheeky little bugger are you?... great ain't you? to you...
[Lisa:] Ta...
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] Where the ear plug?...
[Lisa:] Hurt me arm
[Melvin:] Who the cat?
[speaker004:] ...
[Melvin:] Tough
[Lisa:] Why couldn't they come on Friday?
[Melvin:] What you got me then?
[Lisa:] don't go in the cupboard and er were twenty nine, ninety nine but reduced to nineteen
[Melvin:] What happened to my shirt I was supposed to be getting
[Lisa:] You said you didn't want it
[speaker004:] ...
[Melvin:] There
[Lisa:] By the time you went to work
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] I'm not paying twenty quid for a shirt so you can wear to work
[Melvin:] what shirt, like this, warm
[Lisa:] I thought you meant the, the mustard shirt
[Melvin:] yeah...
[Lisa:] Your suppose to chew it, yeah... your supposed to chew it, alright I'll save for it
[Melvin:] I won't ruin it cos they've covered anyway, these aren't ruined. I only got, I only ruined me other one cos when, when it, getting ruined, yeah get
[Lisa:] No... I was gonna ask you for a lift down town, but er...
[Melvin:] Probably wet actually
[Lisa:] sorry
[Melvin:] on the floor ain't it?
[Lisa:] don't know that's a sat on the bench, leg up
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] I I'm tired, he's just playing, here you are
[Melvin:] He
[Lisa:] No but he had the raffle off of er
[Melvin:] Did he?... probably knocked that off
[Lisa:] No, he'd have a job to knock it off, it was left to er the word real thing
[Melvin:] yeah I know.
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] I put the washing out but it isn't dried...
[Melvin:] really it's ok, it's not as bad as it is now I'll be about upstairs
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] Come on...
[speaker004:] ......
[Melvin:] He isn't in there
[Lisa:] Yeah...
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] Oh is it that, that thing tonight?
[Melvin:] Oh yeah...
[Lisa:] Done already... come on then... come on you've got your favourite here, apricot It was alright for twenty quid
[Melvin:] But I can't wear it if you get on your diet
[Lisa:] aaaah
[Melvin:] you get back to what you were
[Lisa:] get your figure, diet
[Melvin:] and we can start going out together... love you
[Lisa:] I love you too... alright love... There he is, there's dad mm
[Melvin:] got a ain't he?
[Lisa:] Oh he very well at home
[Melvin:] Who are them blokes bloody make a living then?
[Lisa:] Don't know.
[Melvin:] who support the families
[Lisa:] they do, don't they mm
[Melvin:] you know what some people like
[Lisa:] yeah... and that, a lot of his old staff like Charles, or Debbie things like that the're all
[Melvin:] I'm paying them
[Lisa:] Mm the're buying out of me...
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] he gets a company
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] so that makes it a bit worth while I suppose yeah...
[Melvin:] oh why they
[Lisa:] no I know, they have to wait that's it, got to be quite left in the shop today weren't we?
[Melvin:] I don't particularly want to fork out a no I know... our one's just as good
[Lisa:] Yeah, the only other place we've got Josephine's immersion
[Melvin:] put that one on the market
[Lisa:] I suppose
[Melvin:] the thing is though, he'll be walking and the other one still be in the pram, get that one out again
[Lisa:] Ow, oh, oh, you've got all mummy's hair in your fingers, you do pull
[Melvin:] he's laughing at you
[Lisa:] yeah, great fun, shall mummy start pulling your hair like that, your evil, you really are, you know, on me, wish
[Melvin:] how much is that with the
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] how much is that's two hundred pounds...
[Melvin:] I'm pretty sure we're gonna get a hundred and fifty quid for it.
[Lisa:] Er, we will, have you seen the
[Melvin:] What
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] faded already
[Peter:] [scream]
[Lisa:] He's not invite sunshine
[Melvin:] hello
[Lisa:] names like sunshine either
[Melvin:] oh that's nice, and it's bloody raining
[Lisa:] yeah, if it is sunny, I was gonna chuck curtains in there... so I mean it looks like it's gonna, five year old
[Melvin:] Is it?...
[Lisa:] You can buy new covers for it but it'll cost you about eighty quid
[Melvin:] Oh stuff that...
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] Glad I wasn't... out in it
[Melvin:] Now what saying with that, that'll be used... again when he is actually walking and doesn't need a pram and the other one's still toddelling
[Lisa:] toddelling or whatever
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] yeah, this is like a buggy baby thing
[Melvin:] yeah, the buggy obviously can stay up there, what I'm saying when he's
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] whatever age, he want
[Lisa:] Peter
[Melvin:] he want, don't wanna be three, three years old he'll still, he needs the buggy, then we can get that one back out again, you won't need a double one then will you?
[Lisa:] No...
[Melvin:] or whatever age, four, five, whatever
[Lisa:] yeah... oh...
[Melvin:] Oh give us paper...
[Lisa:] What you looking at?...
[Melvin:] the Adams family's on
[Lisa:] Come on you can go and sit back in there for two minutes, your just up to mischief out here, yeah, go on... that's what you want don't, play with...
[speaker004:] ...
[Melvin:] Oh yeah World In Action eight thirty Anglia The Homeless People
[Lisa:] Oh is that?
[Melvin:] yeah, part two ain't it?...
[Lisa:] Righty-o, I'm just going to get the washing in, shall I leave it out there until tomorrow? I said I suppose he has... just say Yeah
[Melvin:] has he got no brains on him?
[Lisa:] well his sort a, a regular time you know, you know from a, he'll be here fairly early it rain
[Melvin:] rain like
[Lisa:] sometimes it wasn't until about nine o'clock you know
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] mm, quite... with it, you know, here's your tea
[Melvin:] oh cheers
[Lisa:] erm, I think your bread for tea
[Melvin:] who?
[Lisa:] give them your bread, toast
[Melvin:] I'll cut it, look at the state of that
[Lisa:] oh I can't cut, will you, if you see yesterday it was so squashy this bread, I couldn't cut it, I'd have a go I know [LAUGHTER], yours lasted a week []
[Melvin:] but look
[Lisa:] yes, alright, I, you'll have to ban me from cutting your loaf, you'll have to do it, you will. I never was very good with bread... mm I wasn't
[Melvin:] you what sorry?
[Lisa:] I never was very good [LAUGHTER] cutting bread [] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] there you go
[Lisa:] Oh
[Melvin:] it was still warm when I picked it up
[Lisa:] well yes, squashy
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] it's very difficult to cut, I thought I did excellent, well actually... probably not... oh... make you another tea?
[Melvin:] what
[Lisa:] I do, I make that curry, I can freeze that
[Melvin:] yeah... yeah why a traditional English dinner tonight
[Lisa:] oh you were, like what?
[Melvin:] chop and chips
[Lisa:] oh god, there's one pork chop in there you can have I think, that's have a look
[Melvin:] chop and chips
[Lisa:] see what I can find, I've got these out of Budgen's cos they were fifty nine P.
[Melvin:] cor that's cheap
[Lisa:] Yeah, that's what I thought, see what the're like, there's one porky chop, is there any in here do you know or not?
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] steak, a curry erm
[Melvin:] what about a pie?
[Lisa:] do you want a pie? No, means I'll have to make it, er soon get one out, in the week, can't we?... Sorry darling don't look as if there's any chops... no we haven't... just a lone pork chop, erm, I can do you... oh I'm gonna need some cider, sausage meat and pork casserole
[Melvin:] no chops?
[Lisa:] no... one, one pork chop, a lone pork chop
[Melvin:] Get some pork chop's then.
[Lisa:] yeah Where from though? Do you want er pork and sausage meat casserole?...
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] A bit more enthusiasm please
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] thank you... right, oh dear, oh, got crushed... no I don't know whether Ann will go to this week, cos she's a, a bit pre-occupied with her holiday things, so she probably won't. I don't know what he's got on special, so
[Melvin:] say you've got
[Lisa:] oh yeah I think so
[Melvin:] one of them
[Lisa:] you got anything special offer this week mate... not that I've got any money to buy anything... oh... I haven't turned the grill right off
[Melvin:] yeah, fine
[Lisa:] oh, yeah... ooh...
[Melvin:] there's a flower here somewhere?
[Lisa:] which one, probably a daffodil actually
[Melvin:] I don't know yeah
[Lisa:] I think so... they've shut, shut up since the rain haven't they?
[Melvin:] yeah... what they all did
[Lisa:] mm...
[Melvin:] well we should of been out there watering them
[Lisa:] mm
[Melvin:] beforehand...
[Lisa:] plenty of other things to do... do you want me to write your mother's day card?...
[Melvin:] You
[Lisa:] mm, or are you gonna write erm?... Suppose I'll have to put them both with a five... can always buy her a plant or some... or a box of chocolate's, oh sorry Melvin brought you these, forgot you were on a diet... [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] anything
[Lisa:] oh... oh dear... I should think you could send every... female relative possible a mother's day card
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] it's ridiculous
[Melvin:] very with my mothers
[Lisa:] yeah I know, but I mean they've got things like to my god mother,
[Melvin:] have they?
[Lisa:] to my sister and things like that...
[Melvin:] mine just says happy mothers day
[Lisa:] mm... it's ridiculous
[Melvin:] that's what my brother wants it's father's day
[Lisa:] mm...
[Melvin:] come to think of it I don't think I bought me dad one for father's day
[Lisa:] yes you did got him a card and a pair of socks
[Melvin:] did we?
[Lisa:] mm, what time was it, in June?...
[Melvin:] oh I'd better get one for her then.
[Lisa:] my first, take to market
[Melvin:] oh yeah... how long they last?
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] not very long cos mine never [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] well yours are different
[Melvin:] were they? Oh yeah those are different ones aren't they?
[Lisa:] yeah, cost a pound... mm yeah...
[Melvin:] what the kids like?
[Lisa:] Oh went on them, that was with them yesterday, Aaron... he went off
[Melvin:] the other one's called Peter?
[Lisa:] sorry
[Melvin:] the other one's called Peter?
[Lisa:] I didn't see him
[Melvin:] oh, the old boy...
[Lisa:] oh, I think this is the older boy
[Melvin:] fancy got a boy called Peter
[Lisa:] well their youngest one was...
[Melvin:] one that run off?
[Lisa:] no... Aaron was the one that run off
[Melvin:] oh
[Lisa:] I think Peter was at erm play school because they go to play school two afternoon's a week
[Melvin:] oh yeah
[Lisa:] mm, so... then I saw her last... Tuesday or whenever she told me
[Melvin:] oh
[Lisa:] mm, oh yeah, I think he's over two
[Melvin:] oh yeah
[Lisa:] yeah cos er, yeah he must be two and a half, cos er
[Melvin:] play school won't accept them
[Lisa:] er Stella left er, when he was six month's old
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] Are you gonna have any paste or not?
[Melvin:] no
[Lisa:] oh I'm gonna switch this, turn the grill off
[Melvin:] it is off
[Lisa:] no I said I haven't switched the grill off fully
[Melvin:] oh
[Lisa:] you said oh, alright... see
[Melvin:] waste of gas
[Lisa:] no not much
[Melvin:] get that like your mother's
[Lisa:] I don't think so, do you?
[Melvin:] three bills, my money's flaming
[Lisa:] well that'll teach them won't it? Now they've got the bloody nerve to charge us half when we live there... I don't think she'd dare say anything to me about it.
[Melvin:] No, no need to charge us half
[Lisa:] yeah...
[Melvin:] we weren't even having the bloody gas heater on during the day
[Lisa:] no, we're allowed to light a coal fire weren't we?
[Melvin:] Yeah, that was it...
[Lisa:] She's having fun then going out into a home next, that'll be his fault
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] I bet his took
[Melvin:] most of it, yeah
[Lisa:] oh...
[Melvin:] that dad's down Dover all the time
[Lisa:] yeah, and your mother having the central heating on
[Melvin:] mother with the central heating on
[Lisa:] cooking everybody...
[Melvin:] central heating was the gas fire, they but she now don't, definitely don't
[Lisa:] no
[Melvin:] simply
[Lisa:] no
[Melvin:] unless it's, it's literally off
[Lisa:] oh that wouldn't be switched on yet
[Melvin:] no not yet...
[Lisa:] See these socks that she bought for Jade...
[Melvin:] mum did
[Lisa:] yeah gave them to Jade
[Melvin:] gave them to Jade?
[Lisa:] these little girl socks
[Melvin:] postman pat... [LAUGHTER] the're boys
[Lisa:] I know, that's a bit more girlie but not much [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] the're boys ones
[Lisa:] I know... so she said will they fit Peter, I said oh yeah...
[Melvin:] He's got enough socks
[Lisa:] yeah, mm, always nice to have some more, ridiculous in it?... [singing] It must be love, love, love []...
[Melvin:] latest in the charts
[Lisa:] is it?
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] oh god
[Melvin:] the group's not even together any more, it's weird
[Lisa:] oh
[Melvin:] all in different groups
[Lisa:] but I know there's a, a LP or something that's been brought out
[Melvin:] yeah, combination album
[Lisa:] yeah because I saw it advertised in Woolworth's yesterday... I did
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] yeah... oh... oh bloody washing's not gonna dry, oh how was the fire last night, we forgot about it didn't we?
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] shit...
[Lisa:] that was in your house dear
[Melvin:] what it
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER]... see how easily put off you can be... how easily distracted you can be []
[Melvin:] I was wall papering with that
[Lisa:] no it wasn't [LAUGHTER]... oh it's lovely and dry, lovely
[Melvin:] there you go take them
[Lisa:] no leave them in here for now
[Melvin:] yeah, never get done
[Lisa:] you cheeky sod, never get's done, bloody hell
[Melvin:] actually they've dried up quite well, they seemed to of dried up
[Lisa:] we'll see, they've been outside a little while, so
[Melvin:] the're not being, quite wet still
[Lisa:] I know though, well it was very damp yesterday wasn't it, so?
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] I'll put this bean bag in back in his cover
[Melvin:] Put a load of socks and pants, a lot of socks and pants
[Lisa:] ah, that's a I don't know whether to put them outside or not
[Melvin:] better try
[Lisa:] I don't, don't know
[Melvin:] perhaps
[Lisa:] I know, but, it's sort of on the mind don't they? That's it... er give us something and I'll put it in... well try to put it in... might get in there
[Melvin:] Is that all I have to do?...
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]... Joanne, none of this dry you said?... [LAUGHTER]... it's like trying to put a quart in a pint pot... gonna dry them, it's dry, manage to get it in, it's awful
[Melvin:] The chair shouldn't take up much room
[Lisa:] oh my that'll be
[Melvin:] perhaps that one can dry, all shirts
[Lisa:] I'll see how the weather goes I mean I might hang it out I don't know.
[Melvin:] What after me doing all that?...
[Lisa:] Oh dear, I do feel sorry for you having to do all that
[Melvin:] I did all that and you're gonna hang it out on the line.
[Lisa:] Well I said I might, I said I haven't, I've not decided yet...
[Melvin:] miss that one
[Lisa:] shut up
[Melvin:] what, getting tinky on me?
[Lisa:] I'm not getting tinky on you
[Melvin:] good [LAUGHTER]...
[Lisa:] Melvin
[Melvin:] It's me
[Lisa:] did you bring your dish down?
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] Are you sure? No, I believe you
[Melvin:] ok, if you don't believe me
[Lisa:] I believe you, I just, asked
[Melvin:] that's why you said are you sure?
[Lisa:] I know what you're like [LAUGHTER] Jade stop it
[Melvin:] What? What?
[Lisa:] you didn't have to bit on my knee
[Melvin:] I was, I was hungry
[Lisa:] no, I said have some toast and told you
[Melvin:] ah I wasn't having some toast
[Lisa:] oh god, mm, mm, mm
[Melvin:] get out of it
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] what
[Lisa:] yeah, highlight of my morning
[Melvin:] get my rod out
[Lisa:] your rod? mm... ooh that beer smells... it does, you made a new lot didn't you?
[Melvin:] yeah...
[Lisa:] [sigh]
[Melvin:] that
[Lisa:] yeah...
[Melvin:] don't normally stays up like that
[Lisa:] doesn't it?
[Melvin:] No well, well, would it...
[Lisa:] mm, sorry, I still haven't got any elastic, I meant to get some elastic for that bloody... trousers, oh... [yawn] oh I've got to order dad some trainers []... I think, I might have a bath
[Melvin:] should think so an all
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER], your fault not mine
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] you [LAUGHTER], I'd better send that off to Ben
[Melvin:] er?
[Lisa:] I send that to Ben, oh if I do it now you can post it for me couldn't you?
[Melvin:] Yeah, if you hurry up
[Lisa:] You haven't been a toilet yet, in teach of habit
[Melvin:] I'd try to go before I kept going to the public one's
[Lisa:] oh, oh Tiny [LAUGHTER], I'd thought you'd finished [LAUGHTER]... I don't mind paying ninety nine P for these, because they, so much goes towards
[Melvin:] charity
[Lisa:] charity
[Melvin:] yeah, but then you pay about three quid
[Lisa:] my, I told you that mother's day one was one ninety nine...
[Melvin:] get double
[Lisa:] what?
[Melvin:] nothing, [singing] ah, ah, ah, ya []... yeah I'll finish off that wall papering tonight...
[Lisa:] I do you spell village? I think I've spelt village wrong
[Melvin:] V, I, double L, A, G, E
[Lisa:] I've put villiage [LAUGHTER] oh... there's obviously a word... oh... silly woman... yeah... Well where's the sunshine?... mm... oh I suppose I'll have erm, doing. When?
[Melvin:] Thing is, I was take John motor back up weren't I? Came about half ten, so I don't know what time I went down the Rave's, be that time.
[Lisa:] I suppose that's the only time he could go, you know
[Melvin:] get ready
[Lisa:] get ready, yeah, I was gonna say something to you
[Melvin:] well couldn't of been that important
[Lisa:] erm... no it couldn't of been that important...
[Melvin:] come on then
[Lisa:] I can't think what [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] oh, I don't know
[Lisa:] I was gonna say
[Melvin:] got to go
[Lisa:] oh, I've forgotten, you know my brain leaves me at the most important time, don't forget to post that will you?
[Melvin:] no
[Lisa:] he's birthday yesterday
[Melvin:] oh I see, our electric one again, our gas was
[Lisa:] telephone bill, it's all paid as well, yeah
[Melvin:] Did you put down my fuel bill for last month?
[Lisa:] No, did you write a cheque out?
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] it would of gone down then
[Melvin:] good, that's this month's one, have I got that Oh no, I had receipts on it
[Lisa:] You had them then, yeah in an envelope, yeah, now if you write a cheque out for us, it goes down my dear... [yawn], yeah when will I get my wages?... Er, yeah being your secretary
[Melvin:] ha, ha
[Lisa:] oh do you want me to post that letter? To that, that company
[Melvin:] er, yeah you can do
[Lisa:] I think it'll have to go down to the post office, I've write to Diane now
[Melvin:] don't forget to cross out the er
[Lisa:] proprietor
[Melvin:] proprietor
[Lisa:] no problem, do that then, [yawning] and then I'll er, I'll hoover up [], and go and have a bath
[Melvin:] Er?
[Lisa:] popped in to see Peter?
[Melvin:] Yeah, he's lying flat
[Lisa:] on his front, yeah, that's how he was asleep last night
[Melvin:] was it? That's how he was
[Lisa:] his leg was sticking out of er cover's last night, that's, tucked his leg back in... got everything?...
[Melvin:] yeah
[Lisa:] good
[Melvin:] feel for a round thing
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] small round thing
[Melvin:] yeah, small round thing at the moment. You probably told me last night but I can't remember, I was just off Well you tell a bloke you won't get it while you're until the end of next week, cos I'm doing a bloke's spitfire, I ain't pissing around doing a flaming grill
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] you know, your problem then innit? I'd put phone down...
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] oh dear...
[Melvin:] done a few panels
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] I shall rub it down tomorrow, it really cheesed me right off, I thought thanks a lot dad, I, I need a guide
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] book, I haven't got one, yeah I've got an I C I guide book
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] but it's not compatible, virtually the same but, but, the, the coat, primers and the, it's all, they're all called different, it's all different
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] you know
[Lisa:] haven't they got a coloured book then?
[Melvin:] Oh look, that's Roger
[Lisa:] yes
[Melvin:] Roger driving that...
[Lisa:] Yes, they're closing that
[Melvin:] I told you it would
[Lisa:] yeah... Roger's been on telly
[Melvin:] they'll make er... they'll make er what's names out of that, er
[Lisa:] Units
[Melvin:] units out of that
[Lisa:] yeah...
[Melvin:] good job I did leave weren't it?
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] I knew it would close
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] it was so obvious, cos they weren't spending no money on it, the place was in a right state
[Lisa:] yeah...
[Melvin:] eh... [LAUGHTER] you like that don't you? I put a wing on that car...
[Lisa:] Did you?
[Melvin:] yep...
[Lisa:] It hasn't gone two yet, you haven't? You haven't
[Melvin:] me
[Lisa:] phew, what's that cooking?
[Melvin:] Oh sorry
[Lisa:] Can't you smell it?... Can't you smell it?
[Melvin:] no, they have got, I mean I would of finished it if I didn't have to mess around with that car
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] ah?
[Lisa:] You should of finished it then
[Melvin:] No, well I had to do the car first didn't I? Yeah I'd considered buying it and all that, you know it don't take five minutes you know, and I took it for a test drive
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] er just down Water Road and back up again, and I talked to them, er, I see, I phone you and Stuart come in this morning
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] done a financial and er... my er, this afternoon I had a guy come in with a Capri, bloody welding that thing needs doing, I don't think he'll get it done, so I was, I was nearly half an hour
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] oh thank you, I don't think I'll get that, too much for it and I got the guy I went out to see Lee he came in
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] I said to him, my missus knows you
[Lisa:] I don't know him... [LAUGHTER] this is bad as
[Melvin:] but er, who she then? I said er Lisa, so Alan, oh yeah, Charlie, I said that's right, yeah [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] No, he started off with only small you know
[Melvin:] yeah, so anyway erm, he bought the car in to tell me that, garage down here, five hundred and forty eight pound labour... right and that was put on another wing, save repairing the wing, put a new on, so what I did with mine is, I put on a new wing, right, and reduced the labour by sixty five quid to four hundred and five, I make plenty on the parts
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] I will, see he probably hasn't got as good as discount as me, so
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] five hundred and for,
[Lisa:] so have you got the job?
[Melvin:] He want's us to do it, apparently he's been recommended to me, I
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] oh yeah, my that's good
[Lisa:] yeah it is...
[Melvin:] so er... that's a sprayed bonnet, a brand new bonnet, spraying it
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] with primer on, spraying inside and the outside, taking off both the wings and bump bit where the bonnet goes on to the slam pan, gotta take the er the wings out, I mean the, the lights out anyway.
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] We'll take them out and throw them away and that's all within the maker of the er, of the wings, er take them out, throw them away, er take the bumper off, throw that away, right, get a new number plate, a new bumper... right cos the bumper's got to come off anyway with the wings
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] there's no extra labour, I normally charge about a hundred and thirty pound for each wing, that's two hundred and sixty... er... eighty pound for the bonnet, well about a hundred pound for the bonnet, that's three hundred and sixty then er, forty five quid for the slam pan, that's it... cut it all away, be off and done, about three days work
[Lisa:] what they charge for
[Melvin:] four hundred and thirty quid, he said bloody hell, so what I said to him is, I know you're gonna need a car, what I'll do is er, I'll get to work, I'll put it, I'll bring the car, you bring the car in beginning of the month, next month, right, said I won't be able to guarantee that I'll get it done in a week cos I've got other work booked in, but I'll have it in here which means I'll be able to do work to your car, right, and it's better me being able to do that, then it, it's sitting out outside your house and nobody touching it for a couple of weeks, now, I might have it for a couple of weeks, see and I'll be able to do it in my own leisurely time then
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] yeah, I work on these other cars and I'll be able to do that in the meantime
[Lisa:] he, what did he say about that?
[Melvin:] Yeah he says oh that's great, yeah that's fine, so I'll have to get it in soon because I won't be able to get him in till about for six months, yeah
[Lisa:] oh dear, a, alright for ha
[Melvin:] plus I'm gonna send the bill off to Angie
[Lisa:] yeah
[Melvin:] so hopefully she'll give me a cheque next week... [LAUGHTER] he doesn't get frightened so easily now does he?
[Lisa:] No...
[Melvin:] Yeah... ooh, yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh... ah baby, good boy, a peep bows... oh... oh, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow... wow [imitates driving], wow, wow, wow, wow, yeah, ah, ah, ah...
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] [funny noises]
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] [funny noises]
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Lisa:] Had a go with the toilet door
[Melvin:] I yeah, you done a bit today, you haven't worn out the bed have you?
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] yes
[Melvin:] great, painting your bed
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] she's painting
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] yeah, your mother mate, I
[Lisa:] oh dear, that fire is getting a bit cold now ain't it?
[Melvin:] yeah,
[Lisa:] it's nice a day then
[Melvin:] yeah... or whatever...
[Lisa:] Right, bit of muck weren't it? Bath tomorrow, leave you one tonight... yeah...
[Melvin:] Ooh...
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Melvin:] Gonna get you ready for bed?
[Lisa:] Yep
[Melvin:] ah, yeah
[Lisa:] oh, you're right...
[Melvin:] come on then big wey...
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] [funny noises] good night then Peter...
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] hand paper
[speaker004:] ...
[Melvin:] some more paper this afternoon
[Lisa:] done it, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, tell daddy what you did this afternoon
[speaker004:] ...
[Lisa:] the carpet... [sneeze]... Some people... Yeah, we're gonna see the doctor tomorrow, yeah, mum's got to have a check up, yeah... no, no point in it really
[Melvin:] New pot
[Lisa:] yeah, we'll have to be there about two minutes four
[Melvin:] why's that?
[Lisa:] so that I can be wee'd and weighed, if that's alright
[Melvin:] yeah...
[Lisa:] Hurray, oh, er, no poo I don't believe it, hurray, done loads of them today haven't you?...
[Melvin:] Well I won't lose much money on this Sierra... about a hundred quid
[Lisa:] Yeah I can believe it, there, there, well she said, they've taken their teeth
[speaker004:] ...
[Melvin:] oh yeah... [sneeze] but, no, it's a bit of dark room, it'll be alright once I've done this
[Lisa:] yeah...
[Melvin:] what I'll probably do is take you out for a little while... so you can go up and see Annie and all that, next week, not only a and that'll enable me to get on doing what I've got to do with spitfire and everything,spit spitfire's fine, I'll get that in
[Lisa:] I'll erm, erm... I'd get insurance hadn't I?
[Melvin:] Yeah, well you can drive the Yugo for a little while until I get that done, I'll drive the Sierra, if you want...
[Lisa:] Yeah
[Melvin:] well I've got to check my insurance as well, let them know
[speaker004:] ...
[Melvin:] paying through the business, company will get tax relief on that see, cos I am the boss, not like er I'm an employer, different.
[Lisa:] Come on you, ooh, come on, he loves watching his dad... what, [LAUGHTER] oh look at these oh dear, come here... ooh, these are hard shape ain't they boy? Never mind
[Melvin:] Are they?
[Lisa:] Yeah, it's not worth getting some, no send them through [LAUGHTER], 'jama's
[Melvin:] What's this here?
[Lisa:] I know I've looked
[Melvin:] what? yeah, what the prices of them? They're one point eight G L Estate F reg, four thousand, two hundred, that's A B C D E, five year's difference, done four thousand, two hundred, two, eight hundred quid, well actually it's, our cars worth over a grand... if I'd sprayed it up and put it on the market
[Lisa:] Ooh Peter, stop kicking
[Melvin:] I'd get about twelve hundred for it, thirteen hundred
[Lisa:] Paid them for it yet?... Go on, into here, mum I'll go and make your bot, bot... If you had your own cat... as they're very territorial animals, I mean if... they could see them off.
[Melvin:] Oh yeah.
[Lisa:] And they wouldn't... come in... onto to a... property.
[Melvin:] A cat will make.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Don't get them out of there.
[Lisa:] No, occasionally you get them... in the garden but... chase them off.... No.
[Melvin:] There was something, you know
[Lisa:] [cough] [cough].... Aha!
[Melvin:] Is that all it is? I thought it was later that!
[Lisa:] Yeah, I thought it was!
[Melvin:] How many more of those blank tapes you gotta go through?... Have you recorded Diane yet?
[Lisa:] Er... oh yeah.... Yeah... Diane and.
[Melvin:] Only done her once?
[Lisa:] Yeah... yeah.
[Melvin:] Did she know?... Mhm?
[Lisa:] Why shouldn't she know?
[Melvin:] Well she was.
[Lisa:] It isn't fair.... Half the time I keep forgetting to switch it on!... By the time to... get it, switch it on, you think oh, it's gonna be too obvious!... Can't it.
[Melvin:] Get Ann.
[Lisa:] now really.
[Melvin:] What?
[Lisa:] Sorry?
[Melvin:] Want a drink?
[speaker004:] [shouting] Hello love []!
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]... [sighing] Ha []!... The tape people are collecting on Friday.
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] What do you think of this club?... Oh cos I'm going up to the doctors... as you know.... I shan't be long there.
[Melvin:] Why?
[Lisa:] Got the.....
[Melvin:] Oh.
[Lisa:] Er... and then I'm meeting Diane at your mum's.
[Melvin:] Oh yeah.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []!... Then she's gonna bring me home.... And then I thought, oh I've gotta go down to the town haven't I?... Said I'd perhaps leave Peter there with them while I go shopping.... Perhaps you can run me back?
[Melvin:] Taking, taking mum with you?
[Lisa:] Well it's nice of Diane though, to offer to....
[Melvin:] When they... bring that other car back, what we'll have to do to park
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Okay.... Yeah?
[Melvin:] is like... he doesn't bother to reverse up, so he's got stuck doing that!
[Lisa:] Yeah, yeah.
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Probably.
[Melvin:] You know where the Orion is? It's there.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] The Sierra's that side of the... well he's put the Sierra furthest away... trying to get you to go round here.... Leave the Sierra out here and... go round this way....
[Lisa:] Aha.... You're right actually.... But, because of you were... running late you see, it harasses.
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Twenty to five []!
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] []!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] ... he didn't buy any stuff for your....
[Lisa:] Oh, I suppose I better go and do that ironing!....
[Melvin:] Have you dusted round here?
[Lisa:] Yeah!
[Melvin:] .
[Lisa:] That bloke... little dairy bloke died...!
[Melvin:] No.... No, it's ma, makes his job a bit easier down here, more worthwhile I should say.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] And a... bit of fun.... And he got an Astra.... This bloke's Astra... cos that's our late night.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] The Astra........ Yeah that's the only way I can see it... trying to use those and have them back... on Friday.....
[Lisa:] Yeah.... No.... They've opened next door.....
[Melvin:] .
[Lisa:] The old boy with the... Capri van service thing... whoever he is!
[Melvin:] Has he?
[Lisa:] Yeah, he's in hospital.
[Melvin:] What's the matter with him?
[Lisa:] Well I told you, he was taken away!... Well, yeah, Michelle told me.
[Melvin:] What did they take him away for, because he's gone?
[Lisa:] Yeah, that's it.
[Melvin:] .
[Lisa:] Yeah they are.... Cos you were saying about that Golf.
[Melvin:] ?
[Lisa:] No... there'll be two.... Ever since... erm... mum died, that was the start.
[Melvin:] He's lonely!
[Lisa:] I think, it's better in the house.... No....... no.... I said... oh I was so cross!... I said how would they like to be like that, all the time!
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] I said they won't bloody lock you up! a dog like that!
[Melvin:] It's not a natural dog.... They can't handle it.
[Lisa:] No.
[Melvin:] It's a pet.... A family.
[Lisa:] Definitely!
[Melvin:] !
[Lisa:] Is it?
[Melvin:] Knee high!
[Lisa:] Running about!... It must be bored stiff!
[Melvin:] Oh yeah, it's only knee high!
[Lisa:] I've never seen it.... Terrible!
[Melvin:] I saw it once.... That's when it jumped up... cos the owner came out to give it some grub.... Jesus,!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] .
[Lisa:] Disgusting!
[Melvin:] Is she taking him out again?
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Terrible!
[Melvin:] That's why I was.
[Lisa:] About a dog.... But it's not fair to the animal, to keep it! I mean why do they
[Melvin:] It ain't!
[Lisa:] bother to keep it?... Ay?
[Melvin:] What number was that place?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] They was having a complaint.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Complain.
[Lisa:] Better they won't do anything!
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Well, in that case I'm gonna do something about it love that... Cos I ain't having no dog there yapping all,a, while I'm out there!
[Lisa:] Go round and see them.
[Melvin:] People like that ain't got no brains anyway!
[Lisa:] I think it's a bit too much really!... I mean i, if it was more content it wo, would be better.
[Melvin:] Ooh yeah, if the
[Lisa:] If it had been out for a walk or... you know? Or
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] was allowed to go inside.
[Melvin:] .... One died ay?... I wonder how long that one lives?
[Lisa:] Dunno.
[Melvin:] bloody dog!
[Lisa:] Oh!... [yawning] Oh, anyway [] Come on away! Leave your mum in peace!... Talk to me, here are talk to me.... Here are, what's this?
[Cheryl:] Oh and I've got the ain't I?
[Lisa:] Yeah... you sit playing there.... Oh dear!
[Cheryl:] Go in, and while you're on the phone.
[Ben:] [LAUGHTER]
[Cheryl:] Got a.
[Lisa:] Oh, that's good!
[Ben:] [LAUGHTER]
[Cheryl:] That's pleased me! Why do I get off the train... oh yeah [LAUGHTER] []!
[Lisa:] Yeah, and you'll
[Cheryl:] I've gotta pick Ben up from casualty.
[Lisa:] I think they're up here!
[Ben:] No it's not!
[Lisa:] rich!....
[Ben:] [LAUGHTER]
[Cheryl:] What?
[Lisa:] He'll be rich when you get home!
[Cheryl:] [speaking on telephone] Hi mum!... Is dad there?... Oh alright, he's not gonna like this very much but I've gotta Ben
[Ben:] [shouting] I know, in there []!
[Cheryl:] to casualty!
[Lisa:] Yeah! Don't shout!
[Cheryl:] He's erm
[Ben:] now
[Cheryl:] he's been.
[Ben:] .
[Lisa:] You should learn!
[Cheryl:] Yeah, they told me to phone you up,, they gotta bring him in.... I know. He's not gonna wanna do it though is he?
[Ben:] Ah!
[Cheryl:] Yeah.... It's okay then, I'm, I'm at
[Ben:] Ah, ah!
[Cheryl:] my next door neighbours.
[Ben:] Ah!
[Cheryl:] Okay?
[Ben:] Ah!... Ah!... Ah!
[Cheryl:] I,.... I can get pregnant. cut
[Ben:] Ah!
[Cheryl:] his head open!... Well... not in.... Mm, cut their heads a bit open.... He managed before... and yet each of the, I had to take him
[Lisa:] Did he?
[Cheryl:] to hospital and he had to have a stitch.
[Lisa:] Here are then.... You doing the shape?
[Ben:] Yes.
[Lisa:] My nice shapes.
[Cheryl:] Otherwise they might pressure me all the time.
[Lisa:] Yeah don't you think?... Oh that's not bad is it?
[Ben:] No, oh, oh, oh, not... not so bad!
[Lisa:] No.... No, don't get that one, it's a red one that goes in there.
[Ben:] That, red ah
[Lisa:] Red hole.... It can go in there.
[speaker004:] That goes like that.
[Lisa:] You.
[speaker004:] Ah.
[Cheryl:] Oh alright, okay when you're ready.
[Lisa:] In there.
[Cheryl:] Okay.
[Lisa:] Goes in there.
[speaker004:] I,I
[Lisa:] I,I,... Er, what about that one now? That one goes in number two, doesn't it?
[Cheryl:] Okay thanks!
[speaker004:] Er
[Lisa:] Where's number two?
[Cheryl:] ... They were all in... they were all on the side!
[Lisa:] Which one's number two?
[Cheryl:] in the morning. I went out to bring the washing in... and... he'd got them in his mouth!
[Lisa:] That's two in, something goes in... there. Number one.
[speaker004:] No.
[Cheryl:] Okay.
[Lisa:] That's a red one.
[Cheryl:] Right thanks!... Bye!
[Lisa:] Red one.
[Ben:] Yeah, in there.
[Lisa:] Number two.
[Cheryl:] Right come on! Granddad will be up here
[Ben:] Ah! Ah! Ah!... Yeah.... Yeah.
[Lisa:] Hopefully I should be having a car soon. I know.
[Cheryl:] Come on!... You gotta go in Granpy's car.
[Ben:] Okay! Okay!
[Cheryl:] You gotta take, you can't take him with you.
[Lisa:] No, sorry!
[Ben:] In Gran... In Granddad's car?
[Lisa:] Come round another day and play with it.
[Ben:] .
[Cheryl:] Thanks.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] It's alright []. I hope you get on alright?
[Cheryl:] .
[Lisa:] Oh!
[Cheryl:] You'll grow up, and one.... Right.
[Lisa:] I should be having a car soon anyway.... Aha.
[Cheryl:] .
[Ben:] .
[Lisa:] See you! I hope you get on alright!
[Ben:] Car.
[Lisa:] Want a hand with those seats?
[Cheryl:] I, I took them straight round.
[Lisa:] Ha!....... are you?.
[Peter:] Ay er!
[Lisa:] There we are! Good luck!... You didn't have a very long sleep did you?
[Melvin:] He goes, well can you give us the er...
[Lisa:] Estimate back.
[Melvin:] estimate back?
[Lisa:] So you know.
[Melvin:] I says er... yeah alright then.... So I went looking for it and couldn't find it!... He says, can you post it to us? I says, yeah alright then.... And I'll post it to him.... Stuff it!
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] They're... going it!... That's why they want that!
[Lisa:] Oh!
[Melvin:] I were fuming!......, ready to punch him I was!... We started arguing!
[Lisa:] Hah!
[Melvin:] Ha!... I think he was quite shocked actually!
[Lisa:] You don't want one of them.
[Melvin:] That's it...., well the job's worth more than ninety quid, I said, I don't do it for ninety quid!... Go and shove it!
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] I says, apart from which, mine was the lowest quote!... And you knock me down even further!... Ha, have we got that letter of?
[Lisa:] No.
[Melvin:] Oh!
[Lisa:] Well it'll been in... on the table........ Now then... get you change!... Have a wee in a pot.... There.
[Melvin:] Yeah, finish off while you're doing a.
[Lisa:] Okay.
[Melvin:] Went to my dad's workshop.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] ... how to seal bits... properly.... It's on a slant for some reason!... Bulky.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] Everything else looks perfect, just... slant... it's different to what it was before.... Put it down like that, it goes like that.... So you've got to pull it on... just before put the seal on.... funny like... to see how he did it.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] Like that way.
[Lisa:] this morning!
[Melvin:] Yeah?
[Lisa:] Mm!... as good as what he took to bed.... Mummy warmed up the porridge, and so did Peter.... Got it in his hair, all over his face!
[Melvin:] Did he?
[Lisa:] Yeah.... And when I went and got him up this morning... his legs were out the bottom of the cot again!... And!
[Peter:] Urgh!...!
[Lisa:] Which means the same leg's hanging round.... [LAUGHTER] And he got one arm out of his jamas []!... Like
[Melvin:] Yeah?
[Lisa:] he'd done it!
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Didn't you?... Mm.... So we've been up for some time cos the arms are wet where he'd been sucking it!... Hadn't it?
[Melvin:] I saw him this morning and he were doing press up!
[Lisa:] .
[Peter:] Ah!
[Lisa:] Bit of crust for you boy!... Oh, mummy needed that!... Yeah, nice sandwich! Woh! Lovely!... scrambled eggs and bread.
[Melvin:] Has he?
[Lisa:] He eat a whole dish full!
[Melvin:] Oh I know!
[Lisa:] Decided not to your little help.
[Melvin:] Little podger!
[Lisa:] Well I need to be doing more!
[Melvin:] Oh yeah.
[Lisa:] Well he did about three laps of the... lounge this morning.... Didn't you?... Oh lovely!... Yeah, that girl was saying, apparently there used to be glass in front of that there... there used to be a glass cabinet attached to the wall there.
[Melvin:] Oh!
[Lisa:] Yeah!
[Melvin:] ?
[Lisa:] Dunno, I mean there's been nothing like that in here.... Said it was all gone when we came in!... She said, well they must of took it all out!
[Melvin:] You can tell there was something there.
[Lisa:] Yeah.... I think well we knew there was something there because erm... I think you can tell.... She said well he took it for the glass.... The council.
[Melvin:] Yeah.... They're all bastards!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Bunch of plankers!
[Peter:] Aha ha!
[Melvin:] Yeah, they've stripped this house!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Whatever's left here, they've stripped it!
[Lisa:] Well they didn't take the gas fire did they?
[Melvin:] No, that's cos it's old clapped out thing!
[Lisa:] Yeah.... I see it's been disconnected as though somebody was gonna take it.
[Melvin:] They always disconnect them.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] Like they did to my house, that was disconnected.
[Lisa:] Yeah I know, but if it's... council, but they got... that
[Melvin:] Gas board... gas board.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Yep... give them a fiver.
[Lisa:] So... he's gonna leave the gas fire.... Hey!
[Melvin:] There were glass up there ay?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Bet it looked quite nice!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Did you tell her how we're getting on?
[Lisa:] Yeah.... [whispering] [].
[Peter:] Oh!... mummy!
[Lisa:] You finish it off!
[Peter:] Is there...?
[Lisa:] Mhm mm!
[Peter:] Yeah... Yeah... [shouting] Yeah!... I am []!... Mum... mummy I want...... yeah,... [shouting] No, no []!... No, no!
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Peter:] Nana!... Mum
[Melvin:] They really wanted the damn work on that car!
[Lisa:] Does it?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] No, it's just something!
[Melvin:] Yeah.... I can pick them up pretty cheap anyway.
[Lisa:] Sorry?
[Melvin:] Pick them up pretty cheap.
[Lisa:] Oh right!
[Peter:] Oh!
[Melvin:] [belch]
[Lisa:] Did you get your...?
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] I, I'm.
[Melvin:] I'm gonna find out how much rear seat belts are.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Brand new ones.
[Lisa:] I think you can get them pretty cheap, can't you?
[Melvin:] Should be able to.
[Lisa:] They're not like er a front one are they?
[Peter:] Yeah....
[Lisa:] Cos they've gotta be pretty, definitely need them.... For kids.
[Melvin:] That seat in there, does that fit... facing the driver... or facing the front of the passenger rear?
[Lisa:] Facing front.
[Peter:] Ba!
[Melvin:] They do.
[Lisa:] Go on the front seat.
[Melvin:] Oh just keep fitted in the back.
[Lisa:] Yeah, that's where it needs fitting.
[Melvin:] Oh yeah, I won't fit it in the front!
[Lisa:] No!
[Melvin:] Yeah I know! So we can sit in the front then.
[Lisa:] Yeah.... [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] ... Oh ah!...... oh ah!...... Ah!
[Melvin:] You haven't got the wallpaper?
[Lisa:] Sorry?
[Melvin:] Have you got the wallpaper?
[Lisa:] Gonna have a go at it?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] No.
[Melvin:] Are you gonna try and get the plumbers out?
[Lisa:] No I'm not.
[Melvin:] Oh!
[Lisa:] ....
[Melvin:] I got some.
[Diane:] Have you actually wallpapered now then?
[Lisa:] Er yeah, we've nearly finished.
[Diane:] Oh great!
[Lisa:] Yeah, it's brilliant!
[Diane:] Good!... Have you made it look nice!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Er no []... Cos it's up... like patterned on the... on like, two walls... and then we've got... like... like a balloon... different balloon erm... wallpaper
[Diane:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] And some of it's gone up alright, but he put a couple of strips up last night and it all bubbled and then he... [LAUGHTER] I heard him this morning shwooh!
[Diane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] And ripped it off the wall []!
[Diane:] Yeah, well if it bubbles, it's only air, you could prick it with a stick!
[Lisa:] Yeah but, no you see the wallpaper actually stretched!
[Diane:] Oh has it?
[Lisa:] So I think when it
[Diane:] How, how does... he get on wallpapering, alright?
[Lisa:] Alright, yeah!
[Diane:] I don't seem to worry about things.
[Lisa:] He did it once before
[Diane:] Oh!
[Lisa:] You know,? And it won't go round the corners! So I said well you don't go round corners!... Oh, no, no it won't stick properly!... Oh,!... So I haven't... and it... putting down properly, it will go round corners!
[Diane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Rather than catching it!... But I mean, no, he's done alright!... But er... I mean I'm not... you know, there to criticise him
[Diane:] I know, If I can bloody do it so that's that!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Diane:] [LAUGHTER] Otherwise you'll find you'll do it yourself []!
[Lisa:] Well I did all the paint work.
[Diane:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] All the glossing and that... and er... he's done the wallpapering.
[Diane:] Mm.
[Lisa:] So, that was good!... Listening to them, I mean, they're so frightened.... Shall have get some more shouldn't we?
[Diane:] Well let's have a walk up....... [LAUGHTER].
[Lisa:] Oh yeah.
[Diane:] You're doing the splits young man!
[Lisa:] Oh yeah!
[Diane:] Shall I go and sit him there, by the fire or... He'd go out without the!
[Lisa:] Well yeah, that's [LAUGHTER] true enough with him []! So... that's true enough!
[Diane:] [sighing] Ha []! We, we made a will last night.... Did da, did Melvin tell you?
[Lisa:] He said something about a will! Oh, there's my car keys!
[Diane:] Had the.
[Lisa:] I must have threw them away again!
[Diane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Diane:] Oh!... Do you often throw them away then?
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []!... If I, I'll throw them away!... Cos I sort of tend to collect the sweety papers in the same pocket.
[Diane:] Aha.
[Lisa:] It empties the pocket... and I thought the car keys were in there, my car keys.
[Diane:] Oh.
[Lisa:] And erm... thrown, thrown them away, out of my pocket!... And I... didn't think of looking there!
[Diane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Had my car keys in there.
[Diane:] Silly mummy!
[Lisa:] Yeah!
[Diane:] She's scatty!
[Lisa:] Silly!... Ay?... Scatty batty!... Can I have that then?... I bought that along with me, just in case they were gonna.
[Diane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] I thought if it makes it growl only.
[Diane:] just a seat belt
[Lisa:] Oh not much!
[Diane:] So you still see the midwife one week, and one come with?
[Lisa:] Yeah, or it's up to you, you can use see that doctor all the time if you like. And then they just leave it to you.
[Diane:] Do they?
[Lisa:] Say, do you wanna see the doctor or the
[Diane:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] midwife?
[Diane:] They al... they do it alternate at our place.
[Lisa:] Oh do they?
[Diane:] Yeah, one visit it's the midwife, so next it's the doctor.
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Yeah.
[Diane:] They weigh you every time?
[Lisa:] Oh yeah.... Yeah, then you've gotta.
[Diane:] Are you alright?
[Lisa:] And take you to
[Diane:] Well you've got four or five [LAUGHTER] after the last time []!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Wha ha []!
[Diane:] Oh you've gotta
[Lisa:] And!
[Diane:] to our ante-natal and... I mean, they all get on.
[Lisa:] It's good when you get on.
[Diane:] Yeah, you know.... And you... doing it and sometimes... I have to say, I'm sorry about this... but I've, I've, I've, [LAUGHTER] I've gotta go to the []!... But
[Lisa:] Yeah, and says and don't worry about that.
[Diane:] you'll do it... it all in one go!
[Lisa:] My blood pressure's right down!... Because I you know?... Yeah.
[Diane:] Yeah, that's alright then.
[Lisa:] Yeah, that was alright.
[Diane:] So in the end though, I thought I'd daren't change in public! Go round!
[Lisa:] He said oi did you back on with it he says! Peeking round like that!
[Diane:] Oh no!
[Lisa:] I said alright, you don't need to rub it in I said, I know!
[Diane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] And I said I can't wait to go on a diet,!... Oh alright then and shut up!
[Diane:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] He said I, he said I didn't offend you did I?... I said, no, she'd know if you've offended, he said, cos I'm sure you'd say something! He said, oh, you'd probably hit me!
[Diane:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] So I said, yeah, that's right!
[Diane:] [LAUGHTER] Did you []?... Oh!
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Oh let's go and
[Diane:] Hello!
[Lisa:] sit in there.... Sit on a proper chair!
[Diane:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []!
[Melvin:] What does Kevin do?
[Lisa:] Ah?
[Melvin:] What does Kevin do?
[Lisa:] What does he do? What do you mean, work wise or
[Melvin:] What does he do at home?
[Lisa:] Oh he, well he potters around and... goes slowly!... Like a bloody tortoise!... I told you I sat round there once and it took him an hour... a whole hour, and I'm, I'm not exaggerating... to fit... or to put up... half a sheet of wallpaper!... And it wasn't the full length of the wall because they got a dado rail... it was... half.... It took an hour!
[Melvin:] One sheet?
[Lisa:] One sheet!... I was getting so frustrated! I was gonna say, Kevin, do you want me to do that? I'll do it!... I'll put it up!... I was at eight months pregnant at the time.
[Melvin:] You were?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] When was that?
[Lisa:] Last year!
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Look dear!... Can't you remember... that one?... Yeah.... It really did. It took him ages!
[Melvin:] Think I remember you telling me.
[Lisa:] Yeah.... It'll take him about three weeks to do the decorating in that house!... I mean,
[Melvin:] What wallpapering you mean?
[Lisa:] said. Yeah, wallpapering.... The border, well I dunno about the bor... [yawn].
[Melvin:] Yeah, and she did see rather surprised that I'd finished one wall!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] Bloody hell Melvin!
[Lisa:] I know!... Yeah, well I didn't know what to say!
[Melvin:] Just get on with it.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] You know... as quick as you can but do it as neat as you can.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] You know? I'm just a bit pissed off with the way the wallpaper's hanging!... It appears to be the white stuff.... The plain one.... Cos it's... I was good... up to around the window.... Brilliant there!... From there it goes fucking shitty!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] Then it goes good again!... So... Weird!
[Lisa:] .
[Melvin:] I'm changing paste anyway. I'm gonna try a different paste.... I should definitely take the paste down.
[Lisa:] I know.
[Melvin:] But I go for them cos of the bright yellow packaging!... Er, that was Solvite.
[Lisa:] Solvite.
[Melvin:] Solvite.
[Lisa:] What you gonna have, the Polycell?
[Melvin:] I had Polycell for this, yeah.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Try the
[Lisa:] Do it well with Polycell!
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]... Then it's buy again!
[Lisa:] Ah!
[Melvin:] Might make that.
[Lisa:] Yeah I know! Got to get some.... Mm.
[Melvin:] Plenty of time for that.
[Lisa:] Is preparation work... boring?
[Melvin:] Yep.... Hell of a lot!
[Lisa:] Oh!
[Melvin:] More than that one!... As plaster goes
[Lisa:] I don't dare! I reckon.
[Melvin:] Oh well!... It won't.
[Lisa:] What needs doing in the toilet downstairs to the ceiling? You asked him to leave your on the
[Melvin:] Put wood, put woodwork in there.
[Lisa:] Oh, yeah.
[Melvin:] Right, the paint need coming off.... Been painted a lot!
[Lisa:] I know!
[Melvin:] Peeling paint.... Peeling
[Lisa:] You need to chip it
[Melvin:] the corner.
[Lisa:] off?
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Scrape that off.... I think it might need burning off because if you leave it on... it's gonna be a bit oddish!... I don't know if I artex, artex wood?... I don't know.
[Lisa:] No.....
[Melvin:] If I could artex the wood, it's a lot easier cos all you've gotta do is just scrape it and leave it.... Scrape all the loose bits off.
[Lisa:] I don't know what that wood's, the wood's there for anyway!
[Melvin:] It's part of the stairs!
[Lisa:] Oh is it?
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Part of the stairs.
[Lisa:] houses aren't they?
[Melvin:] Put up quick!
[Lisa:] Oh I'll have a toilet in there.... There's no room in there.
[Melvin:] [cough]... You'll be [cough]..., cos there's no television... so there's no... gonna need all these sockets!
[Lisa:] [yawn]
[Melvin:] All these sockets are added.... It has been wallpapered.... Since.... In here it has anyway.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Just upstairs I think.... That's if it... had any sockets upstairs!... I'd like to know where they were.... Ones that they took out.... That a bit knotted!
[Lisa:] Can't.
[Melvin:] This is gonna be a hard room to decorate!... Wallpaper's gonna be stuck!
[Lisa:] I would just paint over it.
[Melvin:] No.... I'll wallpaper it.
[Lisa:] Oh!... gonna need an ambulance, get bashed about!
[Melvin:] To wallpaper it!
[Lisa:] I don't mind if you don't!... Yeah, I don't mind this painted.
[Melvin:] If the er... [cough]... what's gonna get damaged... wallpaper wise?
[Lisa:] Well, if somebody walks round with a pen or a pencil, or crayons.
[Melvin:] That won't be just si, it's gonna be about a year or so's time!
[Lisa:] Yeah I know!... So, I mean, what's the point of... you know... making it look really, really nice and... you know, all you could is just slap a coat of paint over it!... Honestly, I think you'd be silly to decorate it!
[Melvin:] Yeah, you reckon?
[Lisa:] Yeah... I really do.
[Melvin:] Do it when they're older?
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Then when we can choose... you know?
[Melvin:] I'm painting the woodwork though!
[Lisa:] Oh yeah, woodwork painted! You know, change that to white.
[Melvin:] You know, frames and... skirting boards.
[Lisa:] Oh yeah, do all the woodwork and that, but just paint, literally paint over the walls.... I mean it'll be fresher cos the paper's not bad is it?
[Melvin:] No, not really.
[Lisa:] Then er... really
[Melvin:] [cough]
[Lisa:] I think it'll be the best thing, you know, just in case you do get crayon and felt tip over the walls and that! And then you haven't ruined... wallpaper that you've gone out and bought especially.
[Melvin:] Decorating that room though!
[Lisa:] Oh yeah, decorate that and the hall.
[Melvin:] Do that one next.
[Lisa:] Yeah.... But I mean, this is gonna be like the family room... so, I mean, it is gonna get... knocked about a bit!
[Melvin:] Yeah, that's gonna be our room!
[Lisa:] Yeah.... You've done to there.
[Melvin:] Well at the moment... it's a dry room come... tool room
[Anne:] [singing] Nellie the Elephant [] wooh ooh!
[Lisa:] Want a cup of tea?
[Anne:] No thank you dear, I've just had one.
[Lisa:] Okay then.... So how's John now?
[Anne:] Ay?
[Lisa:] How's John now?
[Anne:] Got a shocking cold!
[Lisa:] Oh has he?
[Anne:] if anything, without in it.
[speaker004:] Eh ah!
[Anne:] Yeah, who is it?... It's Nellie the Elephant!... Do you usually read upside down?
[Lisa:] Oh oh yes!... Anyway!
[Anne:] ain't got the farm... baby animals on the farm. They were so the... cabbages at
[Lisa:] Haven't?
[Anne:] at the er... airport place.
[Lisa:] Oh the airport!
[Anne:] When we went to go to Alabama.... They've made it so lovely.
[Lisa:] Yeah!
[Anne:] And when there was yes, she said and... all over the place Texas like it.
[Lisa:] Oh dear!
[Anne:] So I miss him, do you?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] He was a big old
[Lisa:] Yeah. Oh yeah.
[Anne:] at the side.... I didn't know, thought it had been so built up.
[Lisa:] Oh!
[Anne:] And that's the square in New Orleans, typical American innit?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] They were dancers in a... shopping centre.
[Lisa:] Oh really!
[Anne:] They were all gingerbreads weren't they?... Different countries.
[Lisa:] Oh yeah.... Who's that?
[Anne:] That's us.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Ah ha ha []!
[Anne:] And every... and then every instrument on there... every quarter of an hour the instruments all played!...
[Lisa:] Really!
[Anne:] It were lovely!... Ooh sorry!... Have we lost it?... Go for a different picture shall we?
[Lisa:] All the albino crocodile.
[Anne:] Yeah they bite!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] They bite at erm
[Lisa:] ... alligators?
[Anne:] Alligator.
[Lisa:] Alligators.
[Anne:] And they take them five in a nest and they were all er... males, of course. And they are... every time we went.
[Lisa:] white.
[Anne:] Ooh!... Ooh are they lions? That one.... Ooh, a deer!... A baby deer!... And on the ta... they only ta erm... and then they won't let you photograph them, and so you have you have to just do it and
[Lisa:] Well I suppose they'd charge you wouldn't they? That's what they're probably doing.
[Anne:] That's Chicago.... The streets of Chicago.... City.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] And that was the fall at Clear Water Bay.... And over here was the sea
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Anne:] and it showed the dolphins were swimming
[Lisa:] Oh really! You could see all the dolphins out?
[Anne:] Oh yeah.... Ooh!... Ooh! Aren't we taking any notice of you? I'm very sorry!
[Lisa:] I know!
[Anne:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Anne:] Yeah!... Aren't we taking any notice of you?... Well I'm very sorry sir!... Let's find your pussy cat.... Nice pussy cat somewhere.... Got to have a lot of pussy cats.
[Lisa:] Ah look!
[Anne:] There's pussy cats.... Look!... There's a pussy cat!... And Sammy.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] And a guinea pig!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Oh God []!
[Anne:] I thought that were quite nice.
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Little baldy!
[speaker004:] Eh eh... eh... ee!
[Lisa:] Oh that's nice!
[Anne:] They'd taken off their ties haven't they?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] Honestly!... The butcher said to mum, now we feel ever so fed up! Who's cuts your hair? It is lovely?... A young butcher.
[Lisa:] Oh yeah!
[Anne:] I said Mandy!... [LAUGHTER] Thank you very much, ha []!
[Lisa:] I say!... [LAUGHTER] Oh Derek []!
[Anne:] That must of... the Sunday Christmas is, wouldn't it?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] He looks don't he, Mark?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] And that was his American suit weren't it?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] Er ay!
[Anne:] His too big trousers!
[speaker004:] Ee ee ee!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]... You're trying to grab the bottle aren't you?
[Anne:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Blimey look at the size! You can see, sort of
[Anne:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] can't you?
[Anne:] Is that the colour he chose?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] He looks, sort of ghastly don't he?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[speaker004:] Ee ee ee eh!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Oh []!... The open!
[Anne:] Hello daddy!
[Melvin:] Hi!
[Anne:] That one must of been the day the boys come up from school
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] mustn't it?
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Yes... oh yeah, there's the bag there and all that.
[Anne:] Ooh yeah.
[Lisa:] Ah that's nice, that one!... Reading the paper. Yeah!
[Anne:] Aren't you?... We got you reading the paper!... Yeah, we have.
[speaker004:] Ooh ooh!
[Anne:] That's when you talk to him and he looks up you see and he goes
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Ahhh!
[Anne:] If he hadn't of picked his drink up that would of been good!
[Lisa:] Yeah, that'd of been lovely! Yeah.
[Anne:] Cos I let him play with it.... Kangaroo.
[Lisa:] Kangaroo.
[Anne:] See he looks ghastly in there don't he?
[Lisa:] Yeah!
[speaker004:] Er er er er!
[Anne:] And you see Lyndsey just ready to jump up cos he pinched... her bottom, Alan.... Weren't interested in Peter and me.
[Lisa:] Yeah, tries to get out.... Oh that's pretty innit?
[Anne:] I just did, it's ever so pretty today, it's really now.
[Lisa:] I just used them up because I wanted to make the camera to have a new film in for dad.
[Anne:] Oh.... Cos the daffodils are coming all down here now,
[Lisa:] Are they?
[Anne:] , so he cut it.... Don't chew it!... You don't wanna chew it!
[Lisa:] Yeah, don't chew it!
[Anne:] It's not nice to chew! Look at the pictures instead.... Look, a pussy cat!... Let's see what's on the next page.... Ooh bunny rabbit, look!... A doggy!
[Melvin:] Seen the solicitor?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] Woof woof!... Woof woof!... Where's
[Melvin:] Er
[Anne:] the doggy then?... Woof woof!
[Lisa:] Here are, do you wanna have a look?
[Anne:] Woof woof!... Daddy
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] quite busy then?... Woof woof!
[Lisa:] You and Peter.
[Anne:] Is that nice?... Woof woof!
[Melvin:] All down the front of her!
[Lisa:] Did he?
[Anne:] Woof woof!
[Melvin:] He tried. What's that there?
[Lisa:] So she was driving was she?...
[Melvin:] Yeah, she had a red... she's got a red Sierra?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Yeah... seen her.
[Anne:] I told her!... There's a pussy cat!... And the pussy cat goes!! meow!... Meow!... What's a pussy cat do?
[speaker004:] Mewow!
[Anne:] And look, this is the donkey! And the donkey goes... ee or, ee or, ee or, ee or! I bet he thinks, silly old woman don't you?... Well, I suppose you.... Here's Sammy look!... Meow!... Meow!... And what's this?... Woof woof woof!... Woof woof woof!... It does.... Woof woof woof!... Like Toby does.... Woof! Woof!... Ay?... Woof woof!... Ooh, I'd better go back to work hadn't I?
[Melvin:] Where's this then?... America?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] Yeah, that was the swimming pool at Clear Water.
[Melvin:] Some upside down ones in here.
[Anne:] I didn't notice, just looked at them.
[Lisa:] They were, they were all upside fir
[Anne:] And that...
[Lisa:] How much do I owe you Anne?
[Anne:] Eleven pound and sixteen
[Melvin:] Oh bloody hell!
[Anne:] pence.
[Melvin:] Sand in here!
[Lisa:] That's everything?
[Anne:] Mm?
[Lisa:] That's for the lemonade and that?
[Melvin:] Oh no, I ain't thought about it?... Erm, one ninety nine plus vat, I think, yeah. Leave it till I see you cos I... I've left it in my coat pocket.
[Lisa:] Five... seven
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Not bad!... Eleven pound
[Melvin:] Big ones aren't they?
[Anne:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] How much you want?... Do you want more money out for him?
[Anne:] I should get with daddy's cheque
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] I expect!
[Melvin:] Cor!
[Lisa:] Three, four, five, that's ten.
[Melvin:] Actually... that ten P... is going in a pot.
[Lisa:] Eleven pound... they got ten
[Melvin:] Ain't got no money on me!
[Lisa:] Fifty P.
[Melvin:] It's at work!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Can I owe you sixty P []!
[Melvin:] Oh terrible! I shan't be able to go to work
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] this afternoon, now I know that!
[Lisa:] Thank you.
[Anne:] Ooh!
[Lisa:] Well I can give you loads of coppers?
[Anne:] Ooh ah!... Oh dear!... I told the butcher I wouldn't be going next week.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] They said if you had over twenty five pounds worth of meat... you know, money wise... he would deliver it free.
[Lisa:] Oh yeah.
[Melvin:] That means you'll have to pay yourself next week, I won't be here.... Ooh, I thought I'd got someone else to give me some money!
[Lisa:] Do you know what they've got on next week or not?
[Melvin:] has gone... on the blink again!
[Lisa:] Oh no!
[Melvin:] And you can't just go and buy one can you? Or get it delivered?... Oh, it's such a bloody fuss!
[Lisa:] Do you know what
[Anne:] I told Co-op to stuff it!... And the electricity board come, no one come... until next week!... I'm having this afternoon if he'd have come here.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] I used to feel it had.
[Lisa:] Oh.
[Anne:] I daren't leave them that, dare I?... You lost your book! pinched
[Lisa:] You ain't got many
[Anne:] half of them! [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Yeah, I did.... They're nice aren't they?
[Melvin:] Yeah, it is nice.
[Anne:] Blub, blub blub!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] Don't you?
[Lisa:] Ay?
[Anne:] We were coming to see you last night, and then all day... so he said it weren't fair to go anywhere like he was.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Anne:] He, you go down town.....
[Melvin:] Come on.
[Lisa:] oi!... Well I feel uncomfortable so I don't
[Anne:] I think it was, she was want you going though!
[Lisa:] Yeah, and talk to somebody [LAUGHTER] can't you []!
[Anne:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Can't you?
[Anne:] Yeah!... Yeah!... Yeah!
[Melvin:] ?
[Lisa:] No
[Anne:] Yeah!
[Lisa:] It's at home.
[Anne:] Yeah!... Boo boo, boo boo boo!
[Melvin:] Is lunch ready?
[Anne:] No, it's not!... No, you don't seem to go straight up about that, ain't I?
[Lisa:] Oh, about my freezer?
[Anne:] Doo doo doo... dee doo doo doo doo!... Doo doo doo!... Doo doo doo... doo doo doo... boo boo bee!... Do you like that?
[Lisa:] Ay?... They're lovely!... Wedding bells to do this one.
[Anne:] How's the, how's the decorating?... Still going?
[Lisa:] Oh yeah, it's finished!
[Anne:] Ooh that's lovely!
[Lisa:] It's all been done.
[Anne:] So when you moving?... You're not ready for Tim to do your other big ceiling are you?
[Lisa:] No, I think Mel
[Melvin:] No, I'm gonna do it.
[Lisa:] He's gonna do it.
[Anne:] ... that's alright then.
[Lisa:] Erm
[Melvin:] And I found out I can artex alright now, so I'm gonna do it.
[Anne:] I do, well I don't blame you!... Any
[Melvin:] Just do the
[Anne:] any you do yourself
[Melvin:] get.
[Anne:] is better innit?
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Nope, finished?
[Anne:] We'll probably go, if he comes... from the station, I will come round.... Bye bye darling!
[Lisa:] Say, see you!... Thanks for the book!
[Anne:] We're gonna go and see... about, see if Currys have got the thing in.
[Lisa:] Oh.
[Anne:] Gotta send him and Tim down to fetch it.... And they'll have my old one in... and give me the extra bread for it.
[speaker004:] [crying]
[Anne:] What?... Did you wanna come with me?... Get your kit then!... Get your coat!... Get your coat!... Yeah! Bet you're a good boy aren't you?... Do you want your coat on? Go on!... It's here........ Nan's gone to dinner with a parson today, for a bowl of soup and dry bread roll!
[Lisa:] Hooray!
[Anne:] At nan's!
[Lisa:] At nan's, yeah.
[Anne:] Very nice!... [LAUGHTER]... And they had a lovely dinner yesterday, roast lamb, she said yesterday!... Ooh, and trifle for dessert!... Mm.... And Robert sees her now, and he waves to her.
[Lisa:] Oh does he? Yeah.
[Anne:] Yeah cos she thought he were quite shy, but she said now he acknowledges her and that... so she's quite pleased.
[Lisa:] Yep, oh yeah!
[Anne:] And he... he's always the first one that'll eat up his dinner and got his hand up ready for seconds!
[Lisa:] Oh right, [LAUGHTER] yeah []!
[Anne:] So... bye bye now!
[Lisa:] Bye bye!... Bye bye!... Mummy's gonna leave you!... Mummy's gonna leave you!... Yeah!
[Anne:] She's not is she!... She won't do that!
[Lisa:] Oh Mickey's here.
[Melvin:] Okay?
[speaker004:] Ahhh!
[Anne:] When I saw it, I thought that were horrible!
[Lisa:] feet ain't it?
[Anne:] Mm, they're alright.
[Lisa:] So.
[Anne:] They're not black, black are they?
[Lisa:] No,
[Melvin:] No.
[Lisa:] they're, sort of
[Anne:] They're better.... Mine were great big bla, black ones! Not like those type.
[Lisa:] Yeah, we had those.
[Melvin:] Sixty P a pound!
[Lisa:] Really!
[Anne:] How much?
[Melvin:] Was it?... Sixty... no, sorry, sixty nine P a pound!
[Anne:] God that's cheap! Was that in Higham
[Melvin:] In Higham yeah.
[Anne:] That's quite a nice little fruit shop innit?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Anne:] Next to Robin's
[Melvin:] Not bad.
[Anne:] I liked that way you'd had your car, I tell him he done you down!... Get it from Robin did you?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Anne:] That bloke probably took it for a ride he said.
[Melvin:] No he ain't!... It's alright.
[Lisa:] Well Melvin did some work for them.
[Anne:] , that's twenty.
[Melvin:] Sorry!
[Anne:] Shaun used to work... with him.
[Melvin:] Yeah I know, yeah.
[Anne:] on the lorries, didn't they?
[Melvin:] It's worth it.... He was going to work for fifteen hundred weren't he?... Wouldn't pay that for him.
[Lisa:] You see, now he does work for them, so I mean, if he... ripped him off, yeah, he can get with that, yeah.
[Anne:] type of thing, just now.
[speaker004:] Ohhh!
[Anne:] So you see your sister-in-law over there then?
[Lisa:] No.
[Melvin:] Oh yeah!... She didn't say hello!
[Anne:] But John said, when she's stupid enough to be trying to sell that house... and who'd buy that thing, stuck up the end of that road?
[Melvin:] Not many people would!
[Anne:] Well then, when they went there it were, it were grass fields all round them, weren't it? Out the back
[Melvin:] Oh yeah.
[Anne:] and round her.... And John said to her, and that's what were happening, they were building. No they're not! They said, not they're not!... We're gonna have green fields around us!
[Melvin:] Well I knew they were building there years ago!
[Anne:] And by time they be bought... signed the contract and moved in, they was out to plotting the garden weren't they? You could... but you can't tell them can you, anything no? They knows it all!
[Melvin:] They'll find it harder to sell.... They'll find it hard to sell they will.
[Anne:] Well in any case they're gonna lose money on it, cos they won't get
[Melvin:] Cor yeah!
[Anne:] sixty nine, nine seven five on it, what they give for it will they?
[Melvin:] Is that what they give for it, sixty nine thou?
[Anne:] sixty nine thousand!
[Melvin:] What!... I wouldn't pay that! Not up there!... I'd move to nicer areas for that!... I bet you there is!
[Lisa:] This house is... bigger than theirs!
[Melvin:] Is it?
[Anne:] Ain't you ever been in it?
[Melvin:] No!
[Anne:] It's horrible!
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Anne:] Cos you, where your lounge is you got... a window and it's up
[Lisa:] up there.
[Anne:] it's up there! And it's the same, about
[Lisa:] Definitely don't like that!
[Anne:] that depth, and it's along there.
[Lisa:] That's all the like... the window you got in one area.
[Anne:] And the, and then the next door, Close, is a, a detached house.... So yo,yo, you got no light much in it.... And tha, that's sort of, it's a,
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] window sill on there, say, and then this comes down... and they got French windows at the bottom.... And the kitchen, you ain't got a kitchen... door, to get from out your kitchen, to outside!... Have you?
[Lisa:] No.
[Melvin:] How do you go outside?
[Anne:] You gotta come through your carpet way... and through your French windows or out your front door, ain't you?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] You haven't got a
[Melvin:] How
[Anne:] back door!
[Melvin:] haven't they?
[Lisa:] No!
[Anne:] No!... They ain't, have they?... I've never see, the back door.
[Lisa:] No.
[Melvin:] Wouldn't work!
[Lisa:] No back door.
[Anne:] I would imagine... i,i, if they went to look at it for fire and, or anything like that you'd be in the wrong cos you couldn't get out the kitchen.
[Lisa:] Yeah, go out the back door.
[Anne:] You think about it, it's never, I mean... we had to have a special fire door put on cos our... we go through to our garage.
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Anne:] Special fire door and a special... seal round it.
[Lisa:] You need a door to get out the back, don't you ay? Don't wanna use the French doors!
[Anne:] can you?
[Lisa:] I know.
[Melvin:] Don't wanna use the French doors all the time wouldn't you?
[Lisa:] No.
[Anne:] They do!
[Melvin:] Assuming it's cold.
[Anne:] Well in tha, in any case as well i it's... if you've got any rubbish to take outside
[Lisa:] Yeah!
[Anne:] you gotta
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Anne:] take it through your house don't you?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Anne:] You know, your kitchen waste?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Bugger that!
[Anne:] Well the.
[Lisa:] No, this house is bigger than theirs!... Lot bigger.
[Melvin:] And we ain't got no room.... [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] No! The only thing they've got is a
[Anne:] Oh well it makes this house tidy and junky!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] The only thing they've got
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER] Beg your pardon []!
[Anne:] No!... No, but once you get yourselves decorating and... you've put your things out anyway
[Melvin:] That's it.
[Anne:] you're gonna be so much better ain't you?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] I mean, you've got so much
[Melvin:] Yeah but, we decided
[Anne:] stuff.
[Melvin:] we decided we gotta get a u,u,u,... er... a bedroom units... A one.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] So we'll, we'll survive with what we've got... we'll get bedroom units a little later on. Probably get one for the little room, probably... get er
[Anne:] I think you gotta put
[Lisa:] I dunno.
[Anne:] cupboards up there once they're painted.
[Melvin:] Get one down here as well.... That's it.
[Anne:] Once they're painted your cupboards will be able to put stuff in them and that won't they?
[Lisa:] Oh yeah.
[Anne:] You know, you can organise them.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Well we're taking the cupboard in our room... I think we're probably taking that out.
[Lisa:] Gonna take it out... because... then we can move the bed over to that wall.
[Anne:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] So we can arrange the furniture decently... in the room.
[Melvin:] Maybe have to get a... fitted... fitted unit down the side.
[Anne:] Fitted one.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] That's what we want.
[Anne:] Bye darling!... Bet he thinks
[Melvin:] See you Ann!
[Anne:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Bye, see you
[Melvin:] Bye!
[Lisa:] Ann! Thanks a lot!
[Anne:] Don't let me forget that you know
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] before I go.
[Lisa:] Ta ta!
[Anne:] .
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Anne:] Ta ta!
[Lisa:] Bye!
[Melvin:] How are you alright?
[Lisa:] Yeah fine,.
[speaker004:] Ay!... Hey hey!... Ah! Ah!
[Melvin:] What's the matter with you?
[speaker004:] Ah!... Eh!... Er ah ah!
[Melvin:] You're a good lad ain't you mate?... Annie's been spoiling you again has she?... Ay?... Annie been spoiling you?... at work.
[Lisa:] Eh!
[Melvin:] Er...
[speaker004:] [crying]
[Melvin:] two to three litres.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Got a can ain't we?
[speaker004:] [crying]
[Melvin:] More like that....
[speaker004:] [crying]
[Lisa:] Did she?
[Melvin:] You can tell.
[Lisa:] ... in between weren't it?
[Melvin:] The big units
[speaker004:] [crying]
[Lisa:] Oh... so what time are they... due, about two?
[speaker004:] [crying]
[Lisa:] Yeah it fell down the side there.
[Melvin:] I'm sorry!... tried that!... [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] No!... It's only water!
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] I knew something was gonna happen.
[speaker004:] [crying]
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] You, stop laughing! You may laugh! What?
[Melvin:] Black one.
[Lisa:] No, I haven't seen one.
[speaker004:] Ah!... Ah Ahhh!
[Melvin:] Ahhh!
[Lisa:] He's tired.... He's tired.
[Melvin:] .
[Lisa:] Ian know he owes that or what?
[Melvin:] .
[speaker004:] [crying]
[Lisa:] I'm go, I'm gonna be.... Oh yeah!
[Melvin:] ... Anne... saying I'm tidy, ha!
[Lisa:] ... You can
[Melvin:] Yeah, and you didn't want me to do it.
[Lisa:] Yeah, it was.
[Melvin:] .
[Lisa:] Ah!
[Melvin:] Yeah but that's... the sort of thing my mother would come out with!... And mean it!
[Lisa:] Oh she'd mean it, yeah!
[Melvin:] Come on buddy, lets take you up the path ay?... Ay?... Come on then.... Going for a little walkies!... Come on then!... Go for a walkies! Wrote a letter to er Presentation Media.
[Lisa:] Yeah, yeah you told me.
[Melvin:] Told them.
[Lisa:] Yeah, you told me yeah....
[Melvin:] And I had come round!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] That old!
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Turn round and sold the.
[Lisa:] You did. [LAUGHTER] What?...
[Melvin:] Ohhh, I was stupid I was!
[Lisa:] What was he saying then?
[Melvin:] He, he come in about that quote for nine... for... remember Mr
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] the brake tip... job?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Erm... he come in... about that... so we wrote a letter saying that I won't do the job for ninety pound, but I'll stick to the original
[Lisa:] He can have. That's right, yeah.... Yeah.
[Melvin:] Two hundred and thirty quid.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] And er... so he comes round... and he says er... why won't you do it for ninety quid? I said, so I've seen the job... and I says er... and I don't think it's worth doing for ninety quid. I'll do it for a hundred and thirty quid... no more! If you don't like it, fuck off!... [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] I were fuming I was!... I'm standing there... the silly bloke, he stood near where the gas equipment was... and I was standing there... both hands clenched... ready for him to start saying something!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] I was, cos I was gonna have him!... I was!... He were a right wanker!... Cor you!... And er, he turned round er... he was very polite... I must admit... kept his cool... and
[Lisa:] Well cos had to be didn't he?
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Bigger than me!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Big bloke!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] He was... very big bloke!
[Lisa:] That wouldn't of worried you!
[Melvin:] Oh no way!... So anyway erm... he turned round and said er... well... quote like that and you're legally bind to do it. I says, no I'm not!... Cos I ain't signed anything!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] No []!
[Melvin:] He says this is a binding contract. I says... no it ain't... I says I ain't signed anything!... He says, that was done over the phone!... I said
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] to you on the phone that I... had not seen the job... and that I said yes... alright... knowing I hadn't seen the job, also that you knew that I hadn't seen it... and if I didn't agree with it, then I was gonna change it, and I've changed it!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Then he started on... he started tutting, the old, I jus sa... I just carried on working, I just slammed the Citreon on... cranked that up... and er... he started... going on about oh... this is the price and everything.... I just turned round and says... mine was the cheapest price anyway! I noticed the other... quote was over two hundred flaming quid, and you've knocked me down! I said... fuck off out of here!... [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Yeah. It's quite good that that chap had actually showed you... the right... quote weren't it?
[Melvin:] Yeah, cos... yeah.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] And that, anyway, he then says er... er er er he said, he said something like... I weren't really listening.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] I says I'll Gods our original er... our authorisation. I says, yeah, and I couldn't find it could it?... I says oh, it must be at home!... Anyway er... I said... he says, well can you post it to us? I said, yeah alright I'll post it to you.... So he wanted it back.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] So er... gets into work today... no, yesterday afternoon... and he says, have you found it? I says, yeah, I've found it.... He says er... well I'll come along and pick it up.... I says, yeah, that's fine!... So he came along this morning and picked it up!... Banged on the door.... I could see who it was through the plastic bit. Open up the door... and he said hello... I went Werh er er!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] And he says er... what do you say, he said er... that's good innit... having a big knocker there?... He says er... anybody or anything he says er... you can't let them in can you, well they won't, they can't come in can they?... I didn't answer him!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] I found the letter and he went.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] And that's it.... So what's he gonna do about that then?
[Lisa:] Well he can't do a thing about it!
[Melvin:] I know.
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] He knows he can't []!... He's got the car!
[Melvin:] You know perhaps he could of on.... That's insurance company.
[Lisa:] Well they're such pigs aren't they!
[Melvin:] Ahhh!
[Lisa:] Yeah, well tha, they've dropped themselves right in it now!
[Melvin:] They have!
[Lisa:] In actual fact, what you wanna do now is to er... perhaps have a little er... letter writing to Avon. Yeah.... Tell them what you think of them. And er let them yeah let Yeah do. them know what sort of, how have behaved. Yeah.
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Can I do it?
[Lisa:] So... complete with threats!... And er... just tell them that er... the way they've behaved, that you thought the way to I mean though innit? Well You thought the way they behaved was er... despicable!
[Melvin:] Well, it's the way he spoke on the phone in the first place!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Er... when he wanted to knock it down.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] You know, I was only... been working there a week, well two weeks!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Something like that.
[Lisa:] Yeah but you must complain to Avon though!... Cos Avon's a big insurance company.... And I've done
[Melvin:] I know, I've had
[Lisa:] I've done lots of work for them in the last couple
[Melvin:] And I've done work for them
[Lisa:] of years.
[Melvin:] already!
[Lisa:] Yep.
[Melvin:] Separate from Quadling
[Lisa:] Yeah... yeah. That's right.
[Melvin:] Now, and he come... their assessor
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] looked at the car, and said do it!
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Well...
[Melvin:] No hassle whatsoever!
[Lisa:] That's right, yeah. Right, well if give me their address, then we can get a letter.
[Melvin:] Yeah... you've got address.
[Lisa:] Yeah, it's at at er
[Melvin:] That's it,
[Lisa:] Wentworth.
[Melvin:] Wentworth.
[Lisa:] Oh right. Yeah. Oh well, you know... you can draft a letter up
[Melvin:] Oh I will!
[Lisa:] Yeah, just say that you were very
[Melvin:] She'll love me!
[Lisa:] disappointed with the way their agents, i.e. Quadling er... have been behaving! Dealing, yeah. And er... er... also mention the fact that er... er... you know for a fact... or, or, you know... that er... the other quotes that er... put in a bill, put in a bill for a er... about a hundred pound more than what I did, or whatever, whatever Mm. it was!... And er... they'll know this... and er
[Melvin:] Oh yeah!
[Lisa:] then, then just tell them the facts... you know? Yeah. And also mention that er this bloke came round and issued a... offered er int, er intimidation and threats!... Legal threats as well! Yeah, and some days you need to.
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] And er... you know... put it down in writing because... that way Avon will then se see... and the, hang on!... What's Quadling playing at here! We're not having that! Yeah. We're not having this!
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] And also state... that over the years... er... your father... used to run the business... done hundreds of jobs for Avon Insurance... at, and er... also you yourself have done jobs for Avon Insurance before... who have never ever had any trouble whatever so ever!... Like er... you know, with any of the work we've done
[Melvin:] No.
[Lisa:] er... it's always been er... guaranteed... i.e. if a customer was not satisfied, then one hundred percent we will rectify whatever it is they're not satisfied with. Mm. We always maintain that... our word is our bond... all of our work.... And then... to be treated... er... as out and out er... criminals, like this Quadling had done with us... is just beyond all bounds of having reasonable Mm. business sense!
[Melvin:] Yeah.... But wha... but when he'd said, turned round and said, oh it's a legal contract!... I'd tell him
[Lisa:] It's not!
[Melvin:] to fuck off!
[Lisa:] Not over the phone. Spoken... as in... but it's... you know
[Melvin:] You've gotta sign something.
[Lisa:] I know. But that's... intimidation that is, threats
[Melvin:] That's right.
[Lisa:] at you.
[Melvin:] Okay, yes I agreed... for the er... the price... but I said that I haven't seen the work. I hadn't seen
[Lisa:] Okay.
[Melvin:] the job.... I've, I've quoted for the job.
[Lisa:] That's right.
[Melvin:] I says okay... I'll agree to it but I wanna se, I haven't seen it, so how do I know?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] You know... that's what I said to him... on the phone!... Oh we'll remember that!
[Lisa:] By the way, I've told you I got charged er... fifteen pounds did I?... Oh I told you Mel, did I?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] And ten pounds from the bank!... Cos I was twenty five pence overdrawn!... So I wrote a stinking letter to them!... A... one of the... one of the sentences,, how dare you authorise... the withdrawal of fifteen pounds from account... without prior notification! Or at least having the decency and good manners to at least let me know what you'd done! Yeah! And er, anyway I got this terrific letter back! You should, well... granddad was there... about half an hour reading it! It was er one foolscap plus... of, of words you know, explaining what, what they'd done [LAUGHTER] and all this and why they'd done it []! They credited you? And... yeah, they've gone and re-credited me for the fifteen pound! [LAUGHTER]... Yeah!
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Great!
[Melvin:] Bit over the top innit? Fifteen quid for twenty five pence!
[Lisa:] Well then, no, what it is they've charged for each Yeah. cheque that you Yeah. you do about a quarter. I wouldn't of minded, like I said to the bloke er... if he, if I'd been er... a hundred pounds overdrawn... or fifty quid overdrawn or something like that, I wouldn't of minded so much because I knew
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] that I would be overdrawn. Mm. And I'd know that I'd incurred that expense.... But er... but a mere twenty pe... pence!... I thought, it's an insult my flipping intelligence!
[Melvin:] Yeah.... That's right.
[Lisa:] But it was, you know. [LAUGHTER]... Well anyway I got this lovely letter back!... [LAUGHTER] Oh well! So letter and er... and evening compiling it... has er gained me my fifteen pound back! Yeah. [LAUGHTER] No it doesn't hurt to write a few letters.
[Melvin:] Old bloke came round today.
[Lisa:] Oh David! Yes.
[Melvin:] Cor he did half stink of booze!
[Lisa:] Oh it's
[Melvin:] Yeah, apparently he had a row with his Mrs... ex-Mrs... wife.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] He had a row with his new wife....
[Lisa:] So why did he come round and see you?
[Melvin:] Dunno.
[Lisa:] Start again... on booze!
[Melvin:] Bought a Volvo, T reg...... forty quid!
[Lisa:] Did he?... Well if, if he's got an M O T on it he'll be able to run it until the M O T
[Melvin:] runs out November.
[Lisa:] runs out.... Oh well he can run until then, then and... just take it out to and leave it there.
[Melvin:] He's done it up.
[Lisa:] Has he?
[Melvin:] He's doing it up.
[Lisa:] Yeah. And what are they doing about it, nothing! I reckon it ought to be compulsory that.... Like a car needs to go in for the M O T, you've gotta Mm, you've gotta have your eyes tested. for your eyes. Yeah.... In Germany you have to carry, if you wear glasses, you have to carry a spare pair of glasses with you! Yeah.... I had to do this in Adelaide you know, when I went for my D S V license.... I had... loads of dots in front of me... you know, in this machine Colour blind. and er yeah, I had to er tell them what numbers were what er letters Mm. numbers rather were coming, coming up, you know?... And I just ran through them, you know, it was no problem... to me.... But I can image yo,yo, you can stand You'd fail. doing it.... So... and er... ooh I had... they did er... this old butterfly thing as well, the old psychology bit as well, you know. What does that look like?... [LAUGHTER] You know []!... A blob of ink squashed together what else! You know? [LAUGHTER] Yeah. And er... how old?... That was the first time I had to cough for anybody that was, as well. [LAUGHTER].... I didn't particularly like that idea. Just testing for a hernia, I told I hadn't got one!... [LAUGHTER]... Yeah.
[Melvin:] Ha!
[Lisa:] It's like that er... truck driver that came into your place when er... you and er... that bloke that used to there.... And a... he came in there and er... for his glasses... and er... old was having a headache actually everything Oh yeah. and he, he was a... er... said he was nearly enough, near enough blind! Mm! And here he is... driving trucks around the countryside!
[Melvin:] Did he?
[Lisa:] Yeah. And he persisted... as well! Yeah, he didn't need glasses for driving!... You know... er! The old, old ones are the worst, I tell you! Yeah.... Well anybody over forty years old it ought to be, it ought to be compulsory! Mm.
[Melvin:] Yeah.... It's like, I remember nan... don't need glasses!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] She should be wearing glasses.
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Well what, I'll never forget this chap do up on Avenue Road he were like that!... He'd been driving for... sixty years, you've never had an accident.... Yeah, I mean, his vision was absolutely appalling!
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] I said, well you shouldn't be driving!
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] See even with glasses on!
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] No, my driving's alright ma!... But he can't hear nothing about!
[Melvin:] No, he can't actually no!... Except get the cops in.
[Lisa:] It's a privilege.... I'll always maintain that people with glasses know they've got something wrong with their eyes so... the chances are if they're wearing glasses then they can see properly!
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] It's the guy that hasn't got glasses, that's the guy you've gotta worry about. Yeah.
[Melvin:] That's right.
[Lisa:] What's the time? Any idea?
[Melvin:] Five to nine.
[Lisa:] Oh right.
[Melvin:] Red Dwarf on in a minute.
[Lisa:] Yeah. Mhm. [belch] Ooh!... Excuse me!
[Melvin:] Ah ah!
[Lisa:] That wasn't now.
[Melvin:] Fucking!
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]....... [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER]... He's ain't he? [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] Don't take it seriously? You can bet your bottom dollar some teams would go bananas on that!
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Not half!... [LAUGHTER]... For the
[Melvin:] Old ain't it?
[Lisa:] It's is it?
[Melvin:] Hey!... Watch this!... Standards... wha, we used to have Standards.... Oh yeah!
[Lisa:] Mhm. That's not bad!... Yeah. Oh that's nice isn't it?
[Melvin:] .... Ha!... Oh a Humber
[Lisa:] A Humber
[Melvin:] Oh yeah!... That's like a Porsche.
[Lisa:] Oh look at the old indicators!... [LAUGHTER].... Moggy Minor did that to me!
[Melvin:] Yeah
[Lisa:] Got a little pink... [LAUGHTER] aren't they?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Must be one of the first ones out. Mm. So... didn't have no indicators on its side, just one of the things popped up! Don't you remember, oh no you don't.
[Melvin:] No, I don't
[Lisa:] I was sort of driving along, what?... Damn thing's slowing down! I was looking for this blooming half thing sticking out!
[Melvin:] Ha!
[Lisa:] They stopped them about nineteen fifty nine, something like that. He's driving around without his glasses on! Why isn't he tested?... Fancy having a car for that many years! Yeah.
[Melvin:] He will though, he'll get more now than [LAUGHTER] what he's paid for it []!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Japanese cars, you can stick them!... Cheap cars... expensive to repair!
[Lisa:] They are yeah! Well I'm pleased with my Citreon.
[Melvin:] Yeah?
[Lisa:] The only thing I don't like about it is the fact that it's not a... a three litre engine.... [LAUGHTER] Oh! But er... it does everything I want it to. Can't wait to get that Sierra! Yeah, you've done well with that. Yeah. Ay? Yeah, I think he's getting a bit attached to it. You sure. [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] I watched that once.... Mind you, it's only five minutes though innit?
[Melvin:] Ha?
[Lisa:] We watched it once... didn't we? It was on before and I didn't find it very funny at all!
[Melvin:] No.... Got that black
[Lisa:] Yeah. ... I just never watched it. No, it's not worth watching!
[Melvin:] was it, didn't we? The first one weren't
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] it?
[Lisa:] Yes.
[Melvin:] Load of rubbish it were!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Watched it for about ten minutes never laughed once!
[Lisa:] But half of it you couldn't understand could you? Cos they were going off in their... like their lingo
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] and he talks like that and sh... what the hell are they saying!
[Melvin:] Watched for about ten minutes and turn it over!... Stuff this!
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Yeah, it's erm... black boy.... Oh! You alright muncher?
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Nice it was.
[Lisa:] Always liked food... Actually it's not very nice!... I gave him a pizza and then he.... Didn't you?
[Melvin:] Still eat it!
[Lisa:] Don't you? You alright? Yeah... I'm alright..... No, I guess not.... No. Yeah, he was upside down this morning!... Weren't he?... the wrong way round in his cot... this morning! Was he? Yeah.... Dunno how he does it.
[Melvin:] Sleeps on his front now and... sleeps all along all ways!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] He does.... [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] That Rimmer character's changed a bit.
[Lisa:] What one?
[Melvin:] The one with a H on his head.... He's a hologram.
[Lisa:] Oh! If he's a hologram machine... he shouldn't need to eat. [LAUGHTER] If he's a hologram he shouldn't need to eat things. Where are they then?... Where's Fun in the Sun?... Today?
[Melvin:] Dunno.... Er [belch]... ah excuse me!
[Lisa:] . Oh I've got a right pair here!
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] I really have!... Things like that they ought to put you in a room together, [LAUGHTER] you'd be fine wouldn't you []!
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Oh!... Ha!... [singing] Da da da da da da da da [].
[Melvin:] Bash! Bash! Bash!
[Lisa:] Oh I didn't get up to him.
[Melvin:] No.
[Lisa:] Not with the bashing.... Have you looked at him this morning?
[Melvin:] No.
[Lisa:] No.... Well he, stayed like that.... Head on the... head on the mattress and... duvet over him!
[Melvin:] [sniff] Yeah?
[Lisa:] Mm.... He takes it with him now, so... it's probably good idea actually, take the blanket off.
[Melvin:] Yeah.... Just carry the duvet with him... it's a good idea!... Warmer now innit?
[Lisa:] Yeah.... He was warm before, probably a bit too warm.
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Shall we go upstairs?... Mhm.... How long's it been since you went to Sainsbury's?
[Melvin:] Couple of weeks.... Get it on did we?... That thing's an old one.
[Lisa:] Still
[Melvin:] Sixty pound?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Go away!
[Lisa:] Erm
[Melvin:] Give me the tin.
[Lisa:] That can be last.... Same day as the hoover weren't it?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] Twenty ninth of er... February.... Oh!... Oh, that's nearly a month!... Get them.... Isn't it?
[Melvin:] How much was it then?
[Lisa:] Twenty nine ninety five.... It was ninety pounds wasn't it, in Sainsbury's?
[Melvin:] We got the hoover on the twenty ninth of last month?
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Is that awful?
[Melvin:] That one's.
[Lisa:] You look it's got his dungarees on here and a little girl's wearing them!... [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] [LAUGHTER] []!... There!... [LAUGHTER]
[Melvin:] Oh yeah!
[Lisa:] Oh, for a boy or a girl.... Oh you're not stupid!... You ought to go in and have a look, you know, cos like... love that!... Lovely! Really is!... Really reasonable prices!
[Melvin:] The only time I can go is a Saturday afternoon, but I'm busy this Saturday afternoon.
[Lisa:] Yeah.... They got some little... shorts, I think I'm gonna... get him some.... There's a pair of navy, and a... navy striped shorts.
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] I thought well they'd do for him for summer.
[Melvin:] Yeah, would do.
[Lisa:] Yeah, so... gotta do like... ju... just shorts and a T-shirt to match, and a short and top.... Yeah.... About six quid I think.
[Melvin:] No.... About six quid?
[Lisa:] For a T-shirt and shorts.
[Melvin:] Oh, oh that's not bad.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Three quid a piece.
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Even so, my bloody shorts are cheaper than that!
[Lisa:] Well yeah, I know.
[Melvin:] Five bloody bucks mine were!
[Lisa:] Australia, when you look at clothes!... I mean, that sweatshirt I bought, how much would that be?... Worked out about two fifty?
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] It was four dollars ninety nine wasn't it?
[Melvin:] That's right yeah.... Damn sight cheaper over there live!... Like yesterday, I bought that fruit... bought the bread... that was fiver!
[Lisa:] That's where my money goes!
[Melvin:] I know.
[Lisa:] Yeah well, I think it goes.
[Melvin:] Yeah, oh yeah!... Mind you, I did buy a fair bit of... vegetables.
[Lisa:] Yeah, that's nothing!
[Melvin:] go.
[Lisa:] If we have vegetables every day, how long would that last?
[Melvin:] Oh that's a week, and that's it!... Ridiculous!... That's why we gonna ha, have to buy our own... no, grow our own.
[Lisa:] Grow our own.
[Melvin:] Help us out just a wee bit.... You can freeze it and all.... Buy stuff that we can freeze.
[Lisa:] You can freeze most vegetables.
[Melvin:] Can you freeze cauli's?
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Oh, them cauli's were brilliant, those were!
[Lisa:] Yeah and they used to blanch them first. Most vegetables you have to blanch first.
[Melvin:] How do you blanch them?
[Lisa:] Just put them in boiling water for about... thirty seconds.
[Melvin:] Yeah?
[Lisa:] Yeah, so... it's no problem.
[Melvin:] That garden's gonna be mostly vegetables.... I tell you!... Yeah, I... three pound... ten pence or something in the vegetable shop... that was er... two pound forty for... a cauli... cabbage... and er... carrots.... That's all I bought weren't it?... That's two pound forty!... That's a lot of money!
[Lisa:] Yeah.
[Melvin:] Yeah, a cauli was about sixty P!... A cauliflower.... I know it's a big one.
[Lisa:] It's not fair!... Really.
[Melvin:] It's a big one.... Fifty eight, I think it were.... The cabbage was... about the same... er, about fifty I think.... The carrots... a couple of pound there, they were expensive!... About a quid I think... they cost!... That was expensive!
[Lisa:] Yeah well they're... bigger carrots.
[Melvin:] Must be a couple of pound for them.
[Lisa:] Mm.
[Melvin:] Look at the size of these!... [LAUGHTER]
[Lisa:] Aha!... Well!... I can't out, out the money out of T S B.....
[Melvin:] For when?
[Lisa:] Today.
[Melvin:] On what?
[Lisa:] Toilet rolls.
[Melvin:] Getting tha, bit bad are we?
[Lisa:] There's none left!
[Melvin:] Got one upstairs.
[Lisa:] Yeah.... But I need to make three pound, cos I owe Anne a bit of money don't I?
[Melvin:] How much do you owe her?
[Lisa:] The lemonade... er... pay the milk man.... I'll tell him to come back next week.
[Melvin:] Tell him to come back next week.
[Lisa:] So why can't I have the money?... Mm?... You can take it out of my wages!
[Melvin:] Cos I don't want to go into the T S B!
[Lisa:] Why?
[Melvin:] Well, I'm trying to clear it!
[Lisa:] Yeah well I'll give you th, you can take the money out of the money you're gonna give me... next week.... If you're gonna give me any money are you?
[Melvin:] Don't know!
[Lisa:] And you can do it tha, when I get my family allowance, you can have that!... My dole cheque as well!
[Melvin:] Alright!
[Lisa:] Alright, you had your moan at me last time Melvin... the pure fact that I hadn't put the money in
[Melvin:] Yeah, I know!
[Lisa:] to help!
[Melvin:] I know!
[Lisa:] Otherwise I'd have some money now, wouldn't I?
[Melvin:] Gave you fifty quid!
[Lisa:] I know, that's for Peter!... Wasn't it?
[Melvin:] [sighing] Ha []!
[Lisa:] Thank you!... Should of, I know I should of done!
[Melvin:] You did some of it.
[Lisa:] Yeah I know!... But I shouldn't done!
[Melvin:] I know!... If you'd of left that fiver here, you would of had enough money for the milk!
[Lisa:] Yeah, but I wouldn't of had enough money for Anne!
[Melvin:] Oh [sighing] ha []!
[Lisa:] Would I?
[Melvin:] No.
[Lisa:] So how much did you spend Saturday night?
[Melvin:] I dunno!
[Lisa:] You spent ten pound on your home brew.
[Melvin:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] We owe you money for Sa, Saturday night, that's alright.
[Melvin:] Yeah, that was out of the cash money I had!
[Lisa:] Yeah, so
[Melvin:] Thirty for cash money,
[Lisa:] I had to
[Melvin:] extra cash money!
[Lisa:] I had fifty quid! Yeah, twenty quid, and what was that for, for bloody wallpaper!
[Melvin:] Not all of it!
[Lisa:] Most of it!
[Melvin:] Stop arguing will you!
[Lisa:] Well, it's the way you, don't want me to have any money!
[Melvin:] Moan, moan, moan!
[Lisa:] Well you can have the money when you want, I can't!
[Melvin:] I don't have money every time I want it!
[Lisa:] [shouting] All my bloody money! You... everybody else []!
[Melvin:] Where do you think my money goes?
[Lisa:] [shouting] You spend the lot on yourself []!
[Melvin:] Like what?
[Lisa:] Like Saturday, you were out boozing!... That's alright!... Piss that up the wall! You can spend as much as you like to do that!
[Melvin:] Go out once in a while do I?
[Lisa:] [shouting] It's still the same Melvin []!
[Melvin:] I see you alright, you know that!
[Lisa:] Alright, you can have fucking newspaper to wipe your arse with!... You can!... I wouldn't mind if I went out and spent it on myself, but I didn't!
[Melvin:] I don't spend everything... single thing on myself!
[Lisa:] I'm not saying you do, but I haven't spent a penny on myself! It's all fo... food or Peter... or the house... or something else!
[Melvin:] How do you think I feel when I bring home three hundred a twenty quid a week, and all of it goes on fucking bills!
[Lisa:] But it doesn't all go on bills though does it?
[Melvin:] Most of it does!
[Lisa:] Well
[Melvin:] You know that!
[Lisa:] You took the responsibility on.
[Melvin:] Yes I know I've got the responsibility, but I'm not moaning about it!
[Lisa:] Aha! Not many!
[Melvin:] Yeah, I don't when we have to pay... fifty pound a month poll tax!... Got a fifty odd pound electric bill!
[Lisa:] What do you mean, you sit there and that's all I get for about two hours is a load of bloody shit that you go work, you do this... to spend it all on bills!
[Melvin:] Gotta pay it!
[Lisa:] Oh shi, oh well just go and then you won't have to pay, you wouldn't have the bloody worry of it would you?... If I could go to bloody work, I would!
[Melvin:] Anyway, you know where the card is!
[Lisa:] I don't know where the card is!
[Melvin:] Nor do I!... It's up there then.
[Lisa:] No, I'm not gonna go and get any money!... Wouldn't dare!... It's not up there!... It's not!
[Melvin:] No, looks like it's missing.
[Lisa:] It's your fault!
[Melvin:] Why is it my fault?
[Lisa:] You were the last to have it!
[Melvin:] Oh dear!
[Lisa:] You did! Come on, just get something out!
[Cheryl:] Get something out!... I'll take you back home again
[Lisa:] Thank you.
[Cheryl:] if you don't behave!
[Lisa:] Here's one, here you are, look, you play with these.... Here are Ben!
[Cheryl:] Oh you like them!
[Lisa:] Ben!
[Cheryl:] You can have one.
[Lisa:] oi!
[Cheryl:] Don't be a pain in the neck,!
[Lisa:] That urgh!
[Cheryl:] You're not having, you're not having this out Ben!... Go and play with something there.
[Lisa:] makes me laugh is, that you get all these toys for... children, sort of, nought to three months and... erm, I mean... his cousins, what are they, five and six?... And they'll sit and they'll play for hours with them!... And they're kids toys!... Come on then!... Sho, show her that... bed... show her your bedroom ay?... Come here!
[Cheryl:] You going....
[Lisa:] No....
[Cheryl:] Oh you got one, I had one of those, exactly the same!
[Lisa:] What the doll?
[Cheryl:] Yeah!... I broke it, and John had it for years and years.
[Lisa:] Well I got it, I just bought it back when we went to Russia.
[Cheryl:] I dunno where my came from!...... I know a relative.
[Lisa:] Yeah, got it from Russia though.
[Cheryl:] I told them that the rain comes in and... everything!... So they
[Peter:] [crying]
[Lisa:] Shut up!
[Cheryl:] They come and planed some more off!... And now there's su, there's such a gap a blooming draft comes in
[Ben:] Hello!
[Cheryl:] and!
[Lisa:] I had to throw... throw a bucket of water at the door to show them.
[Cheryl:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] I stood there with a mop at the side, and he sort of looked at me and... all the water the came in! I said there you are, you see!... Oh I don't mind, yeah but.
[Cheryl:] On ours, we got plastic there... I just got
[Ben:] [screaming] Yeyyyy []!
[Lisa:] Can't
[Cheryl:] [screaming] Mummy []!... [screaming] Mummy []!
[Ben:] [screaming] Ah []!
[Lisa:] Don't put them down.
[Cheryl:] Yeah.
[Lisa:] So... the painting outside,.... You know, it's all too much!... Down there... down.... And all round there, there!... Wants it! Wants it!
[Cheryl:] Terrible!....
[Lisa:] Mm... no doubt we'll see!... Yeah, there's lots which is up there.... And then....
[Cheryl:] Very hard work isn't it?... This could be... is it, Meals on Wheels? All you gotta do is turn the oven on to heat the meals up.... Have you heard of that?
[Lisa:] All clean!
[Cheryl:] They've been trying to get him out... for years and years!... Honestly!... And then he got so bad, that he had to go in for.
[Lisa:] Yeah.... Do you take sugar?
[Cheryl:] It is a mixture really!... No thank you.
[Lisa:] I don't know why they don't clear out all the very old ones and then put some people in there!
[Cheryl:] They've tried! They try and prolong this for ages!... There's.... there's a woman down there... she's got a, this two bedroom place... her son's gone to Canada.... He only found out he had few months to live!... Two months later he died!... He was riddled with it!... He went