[Steve:] No, no, I agree.
[Kitty:] Are you laughing
[speaker003:] Why don't you
[Kitty:] at my feet?
[speaker003:] Mm. I think you should wear those at appointments.
[Steve:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] No, my clients get a big enough giggle as it is. I don't think
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]... by your slippers.
[Martin:] Do you have anything to do with the Hampton Court area Steven... er, work-wise?
[Steve:] Well, have I been there?
[Martin:] No, erm... there's an office there isn't there? Or... have we got an office in Hampton Court?
[Steve:] No, I don't think we have.
[Martin:] Oh. I thought we were... you know, working up there.
[Steve:] Well, no, it's not General Portfolio.
[Martin:] Actually, just started working for General Portfolio.
[Steve:] It is in Kingston.
[Martin:] Might be.
[Kitty:] [cough]
[Steve:] There's not one in Kingston.
[Martin:] Sharon.
[speaker003:] I dunno.
[Kitty:] Where d'ya meet her then?
[Martin:] I met her from, she used to work at Kirshaws.
[Kitty:] Oh.
[Martin:] Probably applied the same time I did.
[Kitty:] Oh. She smokes like a chimney.
[Martin:] Mm.
[Kitty:] Have you ever seen anybody completely obscured by her own smoke, it's Sharon.
[Steve:] . Chuck us the water would you?
[Kitty:] She's a bit of a goer as well int she?
[Martin:] Is she?
[Kitty:] Isn't she?
[Martin:] Yeah but
[Kitty:] Didn't she order a punch so she was drunk?
[Martin:] No, that was Tracey.
[Kitty:] I thought Tracey and Sharon used to get drunk at lunchtime on a Friday and have a punch up.
[Martin:] No. Only Tracey would do that. Our Trace.
[Steve:] Ah. Oh dear.
[Kitty:] Oh.
[Martin:] It's supposed to be a bit it'll stick up don't worry.
[Kitty:] No, it's ours.
[speaker003:] Don't poke it Martin, or else it'll. There's nothing worse than somebody poking your pudding is there?
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER] No [].
[speaker003:] It smells absolutely foul.
[Kitty:] Don't come and poke yours, do we?
[Martin:] You do. She does.
[speaker003:] Don't. We never, we never cook anything
[Martin:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker003:] cos we ain't got a table. Well we have but it int got any legs on. [cough]
[Kitty:] No, she must be working out of the Kingston office cos we don't
[Martin:] I would have thought so.
[Kitty:] we don't have one at Hampton Court.
[Martin:] No.
[Kitty:] Or Hampton.
[speaker003:] Su sugar.
[Kitty:] Oh. There you go. So how are you Susan?
[speaker003:] I'm not very well.
[Kitty:] Aren't you? You got this cold thing everybody
[Martin:] She's fluey.
[Kitty:] else has got?
[Martin:] She's fluey.
[speaker003:] Yeah. Mm.
[Steve:] This one mine?
[speaker003:] One of these days, I live in hope for a bug going round that everybody else has, but not me. I've always got the one, I'm always the one saying to you... fiddle, everyone seems to have that
[Kitty:] Yeah.
[speaker003:] including me. Tt. I've got a sore throat... and a bit of a cough. And I do feel genuinely rough.
[Martin:] And you ache, don't you?
[speaker003:] I ache from here to the top.
[Martin:] I think it sounds like flu.
[speaker003:] [cough]... I had a thumping headache yesterday.
[Kitty:] [cough]
[speaker003:] But that seems to have gone now.
[Steve:] Mm.
[speaker003:] I've put
[Kitty:] Stiff neck as well?
[speaker003:] Yeah. Ooh yeah.
[Martin:] Oh here's some Marmite crisps if you want any?
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[Martin:] No? Okay. Be like that.
[speaker003:] Well erm... I was absolutely freezing cold.
[Martin:] These always hit me.
[Kitty:] It sounds awfully familiar I'm afraid.
[speaker003:] Mm. So I had a bath... and I thought it'd warm me up but I was, I was freezing... weren't I?
[Martin:] Yeah. And I had to get the old erm... quilt down.
[speaker003:] Mm mm.... I don't believe I'm bad all week. Not usually this bad with a cold. I mean, I've been off college and stuff... just... feeling really tired
[Kitty:] Yeah.
[speaker003:] all the time.
[Martin:] It's the.
[speaker003:] Alright. I mean, normally I just keep going, you know, and sort of don't, but I've been so aching so much that... it's terrible!
[Kitty:] Yes.
[Steve:] Is that my cup?
[speaker003:] Yes. I think.
[Kitty:] Yeah.
[Martin:] I wonder if we could get away with telling my mum... that we'll go away for Christmas and New Year.
[Steve:] Why, you going away?
[speaker003:] Well she's going away anyway.
[Steve:] Oh yes you
[speaker003:] Is she?
[Steve:] you're going to the Lake District aren't you?
[speaker003:] Yep.
[Martin:] Yeah.
[speaker003:] We've got it booked.
[Steve:] Have you?
[speaker003:] Yup. Aha.
[Steve:] Oh jolly good!
[speaker003:] We have. We'll be taking
[Steve:] I hate to tell you this but the er... the forecast for the weather is pretty awful this year.
[speaker003:] Snow?
[Steve:] Lots of it.
[Kitty:] I think we're gonna have a hard winter this year.
[Martin:] Hello!
[Steve:] Hello.
[speaker003:] Hello. Alright?
[Martin:] D'ya win or lose?
[Kitty:] Hi!
[speaker003:] Ah! Where's Jasmine? Hello. Hello my plant. Hello.
[Kitty:] She's gone upstairs.
[speaker003:] [cough] Tell her I said hello.
[Martin:] They seem to be downstairs. She hi
[speaker003:] She seems to be. Hello sweetheart! Hello! Whoop woo woo! [cough]
[Steve:] Mayhem!
[speaker003:] [cough]... Yes I thought we were gonna get snowed in up there. Hello!
[Kitty:] Well I ra when are you going up then?
[speaker003:] Twenty seventh. The day after Boxing Day. You woo woo!
[Kitty:] Yeah.
[speaker003:] Woo! Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo! Woo, woo, woo!
[Martin:] The fact that you don't mind talking about it. [dog barking]
[Kitty:] Yes.
[speaker003:] Yes there's always the
[Martin:] Maybe
[speaker003:] perhaps the Monday after Christmas, and then coming back the Monday after. [dog barking] And I'll ask
[Steve:] Maybe you could connect the tape to the television and then have a film on and just leave it running.
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[Steve:] So the ac that's the actual script. [dog barking]
[speaker003:] I think it'll be fairly obvious somehow.
[Kitty:] What's that? [dog barking]
[speaker003:] [cough]
[Steve:] Did you win or lose?
[speaker003:] Not a lot. Lost.
[Steve:] You lost?
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]
[Steve:] Where was it today?
[Martin:] Mm dear.
[speaker003:] Ah no, racing, ah, it's cos I bought a horse, that's why
[Steve:] Oh!
[speaker003:] erm... you might have lost a lot. No I I, er
[Martin:] Have you been racing today?
[speaker003:] No I backed the first winner today and that got me out of trouble.
[Steve:] Er, don't give her those.
[speaker003:] Why?
[Steve:] Give her a brick.
[speaker003:] No, she actually just, I haven't seen for a long time so she can have one of these. No, but that's excessively for her. It's not cos she only gets a little bit. Where's Jussy?
[Kitty:] Dunno.
[speaker003:] [shouting] Jussy! Jussy man []!
[Martin:] I'll put them away in the fridge for you.
[speaker003:] Jussy man.
[Kitty:] [cough]
[Steve:] How are your horses nowadays?
[Kitty:] They're fine thanks. Yeah, very well.
[Steve:] You been down to see them recently?
[Kitty:] No, cos I've been away for a couple of days.
[Steve:] Mm mm.
[Martin:] [mimicking West Country accent] She has been down in Dorset [].
[Kitty:] I always go back
[speaker003:] What do you mean he gets his?
[Kitty:] does that one, that I'm not quite so much of the.
[Steve:] Yeah, but er....
[Kitty:] Oh he's got plenty of them. Yeah.
[speaker003:] Feeling like
[Kitty:] [cough]
[speaker003:] the end of the world.
[Martin:] Death warmed up.
[speaker003:] Mm.
[Martin:] How's?
[Kitty:] Not bad. But it's bloody cold out there isn't it?
[Martin:] I know, it's a bit nip.
[Kitty:] Cor!
[Martin:] Bit of a frosty one.
[speaker003:] Bit of a, bit of a sad day though isn't it? Lovely, sunny
[Martin:] Oh yeah. Same again tomorrow, so they say.
[Steve:] I like starting off the day with a... ten mile run followed by
[Kitty:] I like this one.
[Steve:] hot chocolate... two rounds of toast
[Kitty:] And that one at erm
[Steve:] and a piece of er, ginger cake.
[Kitty:] stopped at the tea rooms after completely over the top ordering. All the... all this food started [LAUGHTER] turning off []. Completely, the chocolate, hot chocolate with bloody whipped cream on the top and everything. God!
[speaker003:] I wish I'd cycled six miles home! [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] So you worked it all off again.
[speaker003:] I don't think so. Not in, not in sixteen miles. I should think you probably just about got through the toast possibly.
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]... [cough]
[speaker003:] I've torn off my bit.
[Steve:] I tipped.
[Martin:] Yes.
[Steve:] Did you er... make that? Or did you
[Kitty:] Yeah, I don't do, I don't do.
[speaker003:] Want to go upstairs and sit down?
[Steve:] Oh.
[Kitty:] I will.
[Martin:] The food's not far off is it?
[Kitty:] Well we'll go upstairs and eat. Shall we go upsta are we gonna eat upstairs?
[Steve:] Yeah. Can do. Whenever. Whatever.
[speaker003:] Whenever, whatever we feel like really.
[Kitty:] done?
[Martin:] We're not far off now.
[Steve:] What's this in there? In the oven Steven?
[speaker003:] That is the.
[Martin:] That's the starter.
[Steve:] [LAUGHTER]
[Martin:] Chicken. Frederick!
[speaker003:] Yes?
[Martin:] This dog's standing here again?
[speaker003:] Is he?
[Martin:] Yeah. Yes. . Yes, but I must admit I'll sort him out.
[Steve:] I'll see what we're gonna do when the dinner comes. Very thinly sliced.
[Martin:] Oh! We haven't done the mush... [shouting] Kitty!
[Steve:] Very thin, and very thinly sliced.
[Martin:] You haven't done the mushrooms []! Oh! Strewth! Quick!
[Steve:] There you go. Sa say it.
[speaker003:] We always put mushrooms in it.
[Martin:] And erm... extremely thinly sliced.
[speaker003:] Yeah. We always put these, just forgotten to do them.
[Martin:] Oh. You'll have to do them
[Steve:] Cut them thin otherwise they won't cook in time.
[Martin:] Oh won't they?
[Steve:] Yeah.
[Martin:] What? Oh you're
[Steve:] Three and half millimetres.
[Kitty:] You're though Martin.
[Martin:] Sorry?
[Kitty:] Grab a knife then Martin?
[Martin:] I gotta wash them first.
[Kitty:] Okay, we need to wash them but it doesn't matter too much does it?
[Martin:] I've got to
[speaker003:] No.
[Martin:] scrub them haven't I?
[speaker003:] Well it is, I wrote it down when we were on the list
[Martin:] Wash her hair.
[speaker003:] and Steve put it on top of here.
[Martin:] Shampoo and rinse.
[Kitty:] Look Martin, those mushrooms.
[Steve:] What, that list I gave you earlier on?
[speaker003:] Yes.
[Steve:] I don't think you could argue with that.
[Martin:] The mushrooms.
[Kitty:] Right then take
[speaker003:] Like if you're gonna be happy in this household
[Steve:] Test the finger... you... are they just... oh God, they're much bigger than we had already.
[speaker003:] So how many are you doing?
[Martin:] Well it's the thought that counts.
[speaker003:] Oh! Well that's enough.
[Martin:] Mm mm. That's quite a little gadget isn't it?
[Kitty:] Where d'ya put
[speaker003:] [cough]
[Martin:] Excuse me!
[Kitty:] Saves gunging the old erm
[speaker003:] Sweet, no less.
[Martin:] One very... small knife for slicing the mushrooms.
[Steve:] Deep emancipation. I'm busy.
[Martin:] Well he's gonna pay me back tomorrow.
[Steve:] Oh.
[Kitty:] Actually they're quite clean these mushrooms.
[Steve:] How's the business been recently?
[Kitty:] Erm, not too bad. I don't know how that one got in there. Yeah, not too bad.
[Steve:] Could be better? Could be worse?
[Kitty:] Well, it can always be better can't it? It is
[Martin:] Thing was... I knew he'd forgotten something. I was just looking for something.
[Steve:] You see, I could tell these things.
[Kitty:] Well Martin, Joe, er er Martin just said... erm... what would look nicer in there are some erm... some mushrooms, and I looked and I thought, well we always do mushrooms in
[Steve:] You stupid boy!
[Kitty:] there. There should be mushrooms in there. And lo and behold there isn't.
[Martin:] Come on, chop chop!
[Steve:] Did you put in those thingies?
[Kitty:] Yes. [LAUGHTER]... Nice hat! [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] Keeps you warm, yeah? That's the only thing. Perhaps I could do with another one.
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] How are you Thierry darling?
[speaker005:] I'm alright thanks. You?
[Kitty:] Okay.
[speaker005:] I heard you were in the er the bath weren't you?
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]... I was. Yes. Well and truly in the bath.
[speaker005:] In the... triathlon?
[Kitty:] Yes.
[speaker005:] Second out the water or something?
[Kitty:] Yes. First, first.
[speaker005:] Where did you finish?
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]... Not second. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] No.
[Kitty:] No, I was about twenty sixth from the end actually, but
[speaker005:] How many?
[Kitty:] Twenty sixth. Wasn't bad, and I finished.
[speaker005:] That's good. That's pretty good
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER] Which is alright
[speaker005:] twenty sixth.
[Kitty:] considering it was fairly []... considering it's pretty er
[speaker006:] Cos only about ten men finished... in front of you or something? Yes.
[Kitty:] Oh no, there were more than that. I was twenty sixth in the women's, not overall.
[speaker005:] Still, that's good. Oh right.
[Kitty:] So I had to put up with the, I had a really shitty cycle... and then, my run was, you know okay
[speaker005:] Well you probably
[Kitty:] for me, but
[speaker005:] you probably tried hardest in your swim didn't you?
[Kitty:] Well I don't think I did really, I just... wasn't very sharp really. I, well I know you have days where you just... you feel alright
[speaker005:] Had you
[Kitty:] but then
[speaker005:] prepared alright?
[Kitty:] you just go across, not really. Cos then, the Worlds
[speaker005:] Right.
[Kitty:] were only a month before so I sort of war wound down a bit, so
[speaker005:] Yeah.
[Kitty:] I mean, I wasn't really feeling, you know when some, sometimes you know you're gonna do really well and sometimes you think, mm mm
[speaker005:] Er er... yeah.
[Kitty:] not really terribly prepared for
[speaker005:] Pass today. [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] this one. [LAUGHTER]... And you feel alright but people just go... shh ooh ooh... past you. That's
[speaker005:] Yeah.
[Kitty:] life really.
[speaker005:] Just gotta do what you can really haven't you?
[Kitty:] Absolutely. Yeah.
[speaker005:] I'm just gonna put an extra layer on. I'm not
[Kitty:] That's okay.
[speaker005:] gonna
[Kitty:] Say, that's alright. I was just... I wouldn't be bothered anyway.
[speaker005:] No you probably wouldn't [LAUGHTER] actually [].
[Kitty:] You know me.... [yawning] Oh God []! What?
[speaker005:] In fact, Jon 's
[Kitty:] Yeah.
[speaker005:] here.
[Kitty:] I haven't seen him for ages.
[speaker005:] Well I haven't either.
[Kitty:] Whose lager's that? I mean whose thingie?
[speaker005:] It's mine, I was just gonna give it to you.
[Kitty:] Is it? Well in that, actually I'll come and sit on it and then I can fondle Jon's knees while I'm there.
[speaker006:] I'm not speaking to you, not with that on.
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]... You don't have to say anything. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] Who's got the best knee then?
[Kitty:] What? Oh well erm... different quality of knees really.
[speaker006:] You're joking! Mine's all bone.
[Kitty:] That's what I mean, you know, depends
[speaker006:] Bony knees.
[Kitty:] depends what turns you on really. You never know I might be
[speaker006:] Are you sure because erm... when we were away er James took some photographs
[Kitty:] Yeah.
[speaker006:] and I saw... just how bony my legs were.
[Kitty:] Were in shorts. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] Yeah. Yeah.
[Kitty:] Ooh! Vegetables! Ah that's alright.
[speaker006:] I got terri I mean, honestly er... I mean people are so
[Kitty:] Well that's a point, speaking of photos... can I have the ones you took at? The ones of me. Please. I mean, I realize you've probably got them pinned up by your bed, but
[speaker006:] Ah, I've made them up into poster size.
[Kitty:] Yeah. [LAUGHTER]... Get three D ones made up.
[speaker006:] Are you, are you coming to that dinner?
[Kitty:] No I'm not.
[speaker006:] You're not?
[Kitty:] No. Yeah I know. Martin won't let me come cos he says it's too expensive. So, when is it anyway?
[speaker006:] Oh probably the... er er... it's worse than I do sometimes.... No, November... the twenty something.
[Kitty:] Oh great! That's very helpful. Yeah, I dunno why, I sort of oh yes well, I assumed we were going and then he said it was too expensive. And then, he sort of thought well... funny... sell my body.
[speaker006:] I don't know.
[speaker005:] I dunno.
[Kitty:] It's something like twenty quid each. That could take me ages to earn.
[speaker006:] What d'ya do?
[Kitty:] Depending who I'm selling my body to. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] I'm a student so I haven't got any money. But, judging by how crap the Christmas dinner was... I'm not really particularly tempted, but
[speaker006:] Tell him you want to go. That's what we'll do anyway.
[Kitty:] Will you dance with me if I come?
[speaker006:] What? Yes.
[Kitty:] That means I will. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] Yes.
[Kitty:] Okay. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] As long as it's slow.
[Kitty:] Oh, alright then. Sounds good to me.
[speaker006:] You're warned though
[Kitty:] That's worth
[speaker006:] I've got two left feet.
[Kitty:] that's worth twenty quid. That's alright, if you tread on my feet I'll just pick you up and carry you then.
[speaker006:] Yeah, that's true.
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER] And put you over my
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] put you over my shoulder [].
[speaker006:] You probably could.
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] A fireman's lift then.
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]... Oh dear.
[speaker006:] And we can... disappear outside and everyone'll be talking.
[Kitty:] Oh yeah! Absolutely.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] You'll have to deal with Martin though. Can you run faster than him?
[speaker006:] Erm
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] no, I can't even run for a bus.
[Kitty:] Actually probably wouldn't, probably wouldn't be very bothered actually.
[speaker006:] I'll just have my bike outside and quickly get on.
[Kitty:] [cough]... I should.
[speaker006:] Yeah.
[Kitty:] Oh dear. That erm... Mark rang up
[speaker006:] Oh
[Kitty:] rang us up yesterday. Hello it's Mark from the Tri-Club. I thought Mark from the Tri-Club, Mark, who the hell is Mark?
[speaker006:] Who from the Tri-Club? [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] Well I didn't even, well he didn't even occur to me actually I must admit.
[speaker005:] Excuse me a minute.
[Kitty:] But er... going to the loo are we? Alright then. Can you bring me a cup of tea back? One sugar please. Erm... yeah, so I had this I had thi yeah I had this long conversation not knowing who the hell he... so I said well are you going, I was thinking Kingfisher, so I thought well, I said are you going training tomorrow night? He said training? What training? I said well, you know, and I thought it could be somebody here [LAUGHTER] as well.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] Let's face it, I made a complete prat of myself. And then Martin, I sa I still couldn't think who it was. Martin came home and said oh is that Mark fro Mark from Woking? I thought, [LAUGHTER] ah, ha []!
[speaker006:] The wrong bloody number.
[Kitty:] Oops! Yeah. But honestly, how stupid!
[speaker006:] It could, could it not be anybody?
[Kitty:] Well I know. God! Could have been a... if I didn't know any attractive Marks Tri-Club
[speaker006:] Oh, so you di
[Kitty:] so I thought it's a fairly safe bet. I mean if it ha if somebody had said it was Danny from the Tri-Club I would have had a
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] I would have been in there, you know. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] Oh.
[Kitty:] Just on the off chance. Just on the off chance it was that Danny. Ha! I mean, how stupid to ring and say it's Mark.
[speaker006:] Yes.
[Kitty:] I mean, that's like ringing up and saying it's Jon really isn't it? [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] But I do ring.
[Kitty:] You do ri... well we know you well enough to know your voice though.
[speaker006:] It's the bear.
[Kitty:] Yeah. Absolutely. Who's that girl?
[speaker006:] Yeah, that's Sarah.
[Kitty:] She's not as sexy as me is she?
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER] It's what you call
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] in fact I'm not even sure it was female then [].
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]... Not that I'm insecure or anything.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]... It's alright, you can try and.
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]... Oh dear. How's Nat?
[speaker006:] Fine.
[Kitty:] Oh oh!
[speaker006:] Gone to the cinema tonight or summat.
[Kitty:] Eh?
[speaker006:] Gone to the cinema
[Kitty:] Oh oh.
[speaker006:] with the girls from work.
[Kitty:] Oh that's nice.... Where, what have they gone to see, d'ya know?
[speaker006:] Ah... she did say.
[Kitty:] Oh oh!
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]... I take so much interest in her.
[Kitty:] Yes dear. That's nice. See you later. Bye! [LAUGHTER]... [yawning] Oh God []! Where's Thierry with my bloody cup of tea?... Well do you want any while I was in there? Just bringing his now.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]... I was thinking of going up for something myself, but... I really can't be bothered to move actually.
[speaker007:] Fifty miles for you?
[speaker006:] Yeah, that's what we normally do.
[speaker007:] Is it?
[speaker006:] What's Thierry supposed to do, about fifty six?
[speaker007:] Seventy five
[speaker006:] Seventy five?
[speaker007:] is the total.
[speaker006:] Oh, including your twenty
[speaker007:] Including, yeah.
[Kitty:] Something's definitely burning.
[speaker006:] Is it twenty five to ten when you go past the door.
[Kitty:] You lazy bugger!
[speaker006:] I said I can't be bothered to get up.
[speaker007:] That's alright, I'll let you drive me all the way round once so, he owes me a quid you see.
[Kitty:] Oh.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] I see... pay day's started.
[Kitty:] Yeah.... [cough]
[Martin:] [shouting] Who's left their hat on the fire top []?
[Kitty:] I told you something's, I told you something was burning.
[speaker007:] After that last place in there.
[Martin:] Can you smell it?
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] Yes.
[Kitty:] Oh! [kiss], [kiss], [kiss]... Thank you very much Thierry. You're a star.
[speaker006:] I had erm... you had to get up, out of bed of Sundays?
[Kitty:] Oh! Bloody hell!
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] Men! Eh!
[speaker006:] Yeah.
[Kitty:] I was, I was quietly groaning away thinking oh God it's quarter to eight thank God I haven't gotta get up.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] Ten minutes later, wurgh, can you
[speaker006:] Tap on the door.
[Kitty:] can you push the van please? Pushing an old van, I mean I ask you!
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah. Yeah. Stuck at the bottom of the hill [].
[Kitty:] A ho how he thought I was going to move it I don't know. And then, and then
[speaker006:] First he, first he scratched it.
[Kitty:] Yeah. And then, ten minutes later, I got a puncture, can you drive me out there? Tt! Cor dear! Some people, eh?
[speaker006:] What car have you got?
[Kitty:] Peugeot. Peugeot two O five. Peggy the Peugeot.
[speaker006:] Pretty nice.
[Kitty:] Mm mm. Oh God! I've been so thirsty for the last hour, I couldn't be bothered to go and find a drink. I've never ever been at college after six o'clock, it was very exciting. [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] How old's he? Six? Twelve?
[speaker006:] How old is he?
[Kitty:] A bit young.
[speaker006:] I thought you said he was fourteen.
[Kitty:] A bit young for me.... Even for me, eh?
[speaker006:] Mm. Even for a little baby like you.
[Kitty:] I know. The youngest, the youngest below me I've ever gone for is three years younger. Well that was... that was fairly excessive.
[speaker006:] And that was when you were six.
[Kitty:] God he was sexy! No, it was when about
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] about... seventeen... and he was... fourteen. God he was fabulous! The best kisser I've ever met.
[speaker006:] What do you mean?... You're a nympho on the quiet aren't you really? [LAUGHTER] You are aren't you []? On the quiet whore.
[Kitty:] Whoever types this up is gonna have fun aren't they?
[speaker006:] Mm?
[Kitty:] Whoever types this up's gonna have fun. [LAUGHTER]... I sure might like to.
[speaker006:] Let's go and see
[Kitty:] Oh good!
[speaker007:] How is the old studies going?
[Kitty:] Oh okay. Boring really. Actually erm... I'm not really into it at the moment because I can't sort of make myself... get in there, you know?
[speaker007:] Miles away.
[Kitty:] Mm. I'm just too used to being lazy really. I can't cope.
[speaker007:] Yeah I, I know how you feel mine's... mine's. Do you have write-ups and lots of work?
[Kitty:] Oh oh! They're not like that all the time.... It's just been a bit of a surge once a month.
[speaker007:] Just once a month?
[Kitty:] Yeah. Just for a week every month... and go a bit over the top.
[speaker007:] Once a month.
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker007:] Hero!
[Martin:] What time's this matey turning up?
[Kitty:] What matey?
[Martin:] Your? Or have you got it already?
[Kitty:] No, we gotta go down to Kingfisher and get it. We're gonna be late home. We're gonna be late home....
[Martin:] Mm mm. Did she tell you what her luxury was while you were away? [LAUGHTER]... Sitting up painting her nails at midnight, in bed. [LAUGHTER]... She said it was just wonderful not having anybody shouting at her to turn the light off. [LAUGHTER]...
[Kitty:] Mm mm. Oh dear.... I said my luxury when Martin was out was eating half a very large cream cake. And ho drinking half a bottle of wine. [LAUGHTER]... We didn't quite decide which was more the.
[speaker008:] Kitty, what are you doing Sunday? Are you gonna go into London?
[Kitty:] What do you want me to do then?
[speaker006:] Good question. [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] What?
[speaker008:] Are you with Martin? Eleven o'clock.
[Kitty:] Probably. If it involved marshalling, definitely.
[speaker006:] Well you can stand up.
[speaker008:] Are you waiting?
[speaker003:] Yeah.
[Kitty:] Well you
[speaker006:] I've gotta stand up just now.
[Kitty:] you're gonna stand on my foot in a minute then I'm gonna kick you in the bollocks with the other foot!
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]... [LAUGHTER] Ooh! Ooh ooh ooh []!
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER] Oh that's good [].
[speaker005:] It was a thingie reaction
[Kitty:] Yeah.
[speaker005:] isn't it?
[Kitty:] Reflex.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah [].
[Kitty:] If I sit here, if I sit very still he'll forget about me.
[speaker006:] He'll come this way in a minute.
[speaker005:] Have you ever had that done it's so... bizarre, I tell you.
[Kitty:] What, being kicked in the bollocks or... no reflexes? Yes.
[speaker005:] been kicked in, in the bollocks.
[Kitty:] You get it done when you go to the doctors don't you?
[speaker005:] Yeah. It's bizarre cos it's like... you haven't got control.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] You feel like a puppet.
[Kitty:] Oh blimey! Do you think I might just find anybody here who'd like a really good snog?
[speaker006:] Not with that cold, no.
[Kitty:] Well it's not infectious any more. [clears throat]
[speaker005:] Well I would love to.
[speaker006:] I think Martin might get a bit upset.
[Kitty:] Well he doesn't wanna bloody snog! He's off kissing. He doesn't like kissing, he noticed that after two years. I don't really like kissing very much. Oh for God's sake! Now you tell me!
[speaker005:] Sex is so much better.
[speaker006:] Ah? Eh?
[Kitty:] Swallow, swallow.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] No it's not!
[speaker005:] It is. Not if you try hard.
[Kitty:] Vastly overrated I'm afraid.
[speaker005:] Yeah?
[Kitty:] Mm? It's vastly overrated.
[speaker006:] And it's hard just to get... all the way up.
[speaker005:] Yeah.
[Kitty:] Oh yeah? [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] What are we
[speaker005:] Yeah, the.
[Kitty:] Come on then. He's not looking. [kiss]
[speaker005:] It was the only time I've worn four layers on the top... in a race.
[speaker006:] Yeah.
[speaker005:] And it was the full kit, you know. It was
[speaker006:] Oh yeah.
[speaker005:] er... it was
[Kitty:] Mind you, that's what they all say though.
[speaker006:] Yeah? Are you cold?
[Kitty:] [mimicking French accent] Are you wanting me to warm you up []? [LAUGHTER]... Want my jumper?
[speaker006:] Mm?
[Kitty:] Do you want my jumper? Haven't you got your...?... Tt! Oh!
[speaker006:] I'm really cold. Still... I'll survive.
[Kitty:] I know.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] I'll warm you up.... There's still something there yo... there's still something there you can't be that cold.
[speaker006:] Go on. Do your natural duties.
[Kitty:] Gosh! Ha! The end of the Worlds, you know how cold it was there, and we were all going down the finish tunnel... you just, all of the blokes you just thought
[speaker007:] There's only three of the blokes.
[Kitty:] there's nothing there! It's gone! It's gone!
[speaker007:] Well...
[speaker006:] There's only fifteen altogether.
[Kitty:] Not that, not that I look at that sort of thing on a regular basis so
[speaker006:] They go...
[Kitty:] Well when they're just standing there in a vest and shorts then there isn't much else to look at is there, really?
[speaker006:] Yeah.
[speaker005:] Then yo
[speaker006:] It was Saturday or Sunday?
[Kitty:] What?
[speaker005:] Are you
[speaker006:] Twenty fourth.
[Kitty:] Twenty fourth, is it? Well that's why Doug's going round asking about Sunday is it?
[speaker006:] If you are going it's best to
[Kitty:] Where is it?
[speaker006:] Women in, she's gonna win women's categories.
[Kitty:] Where is it and what is it? Isn't there one in November or something? You're shivering! Is that just cos you've got your leg like that or is the other one shaking? Sorry, that one's shaking cos you've got it tucked up, cos I'm touching you isn't it?
[speaker006:] Yeah. A bit
[Kitty:] Eh?
[speaker006:] excited.
[speaker009:] You like coming along here don't you?
[Kitty:] I do.
[speaker009:] What's this?
[Kitty:] I like touching Jon's leg. Yes.
[speaker009:] Are you recording?
[Kitty:] Don't! Get off!
[speaker006:] She's taping it all.
[Kitty:] Yeah, I'm doing a local project.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] But so far we've had erm, we've had... who likes kissing and who doesn't. Sex is better with Jon cos he does it better.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] And I'm a nymphomaniac. It sounded quite good to me.
[speaker006:] All good clean stuff.
[Kitty:] I know. I've gotta hand it in on Friday so I'm getting a bit desperate.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker009:] Better not mention I shave my legs on
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] Oh no!
[speaker009:] on Monday. [LAUGHTER] Yesterday [].
[Kitty:] Yes, the kinkier the better really, you know.
[speaker009:] I'd like to know where you're supposed to stop.
[Kitty:] What d'ya mean? Which particular section of the conversation are we talking about?
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker009:] [LAUGHTER] Dunno. Where you're supposed to stop
[Kitty:] Jon
[speaker009:] shaving your legs up to.
[Kitty:] Oh right. Jon obviously doesn't know where to stop.
[speaker006:] It's painful.
[Kitty:] If he's that good.... You should u use Immac it's less painful.
[speaker006:] Sorry?
[Kitty:] Use Immac it's less painful.
[speaker006:] Immac?
[Kitty:] For your legs.
[speaker006:] Immac?
[Kitty:] Evil smelling pink stuff that you put all over your legs and
[speaker006:] Wax?
[Kitty:] leave it. No, no, no. And then you leave it
[speaker009:] Nitromorse for legs.
[Kitty:] then you leave it for erm
[speaker009:] [clears throat]
[Kitty:] five minutes and then all your hairs drop out and then you, then you just wipe them off. It's great.
[speaker006:] I'd be a
[Kitty:] It's quite a good chat up line. Get a girl to do it for you.
[speaker009:] Yeah. I, I've often had that fantasy actually.
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER] I think most girls have a fantasy about waxing some blokes legs.
[speaker009:] ....
[Kitty:] Oh! Ooh er! Baby! Martin has his waxed. He was very brave.
[speaker006:] No one would wax mine.
[Kitty:] Really?
[speaker006:] Not many places will wax men's legs. I dunno why, but in a way
[Kitty:] Yeah, Gill can do it. The sports centre'll do it. It's yours. You're making me feel really guilty. Stop it!
[speaker006:] I'll be afraid that they can see my tummy.
[Kitty:] No! You can't, you can't see, you can't... you could cover your legs with it though
[speaker006:] A bit.
[Kitty:] couldn't you? Yes, well keep your pants on, that's all I can say.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] What are you doing?
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker008:] What did you say you were doing Sunday?
[Kitty:] I thought you might have forgotten about me Doug.
[speaker008:] No.
[Kitty:] I don't know. What am I doing? Has Martin said what I'm doing already? And where is it?
[speaker008:] No, well Martin looked through the diary.
[Kitty:] Where is it?
[speaker008:] It's at Potter Street.
[Kitty:] You're going as well are you?
[speaker006:] What's that?
[Kitty:] This thing on Sunday?
[speaker008:] Wahey!
[speaker009:] No I'm gonna watch my wife on the hillside.
[Kitty:] Oh I see. I thought she was
[speaker008:] Yeah.
[Kitty:] going too.
[speaker008:] Can you not er... bring her along afterwards?
[speaker009:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] [LAUGHTER] She'll be really chuffed [].... Erm, I don't know what I'm doing actually. That's very helpful of me isn't it? I shall ask Martin
[speaker010:] How's it going Doug?
[Kitty:] when it gets a bit nearer.
[speaker008:] Pardon?
[speaker010:] How's it going?
[speaker008:] Well, it's not very good actually. But I still have to put some of the blinds out again.
[Kitty:] What happened to the one I did last year? The last time I did you put me on blind bends.
[speaker008:] Did I?
[Kitty:] And then said afterwards, I put you there cos they stop for women and not men. So I
[speaker008:] Hey?
[Kitty:] had to throw myself in front of a speeding car! [LAUGHTER]... Stop!
[speaker006:] Ha aargh aargh!
[speaker003:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER] The legs [].
[Kitty:] You trod on my bloody foot!
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] [cough]
[speaker006:] At least I wasn't wearing a stilettos.
[Kitty:] True.... That's the one where I marshalled with you last year actually wasn't it?
[speaker006:] Yeah that's right. That's right.
[Kitty:] And you came, you came and tied his dog to the back of my car.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah. They're gonna
[Kitty:] And the
[speaker006:] run away with it []!
[Kitty:] and then wrote himself a note to remind himself to untie the blooming thing.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER] Oh yes [].
[Kitty:] Dear Doug
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] Don't forget to untie the dog.
[speaker006:] And you can just imagine him rid
[Kitty:] You can.
[speaker006:] driving away with it
[Kitty:] Absolutely. Woof! [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] Nicely then followed the car.
[Kitty:] Yeah, true. It's easy. I don't.
[speaker006:] But then you start to overtake him... seventy miles an hour or so.
[Kitty:] Dog's yapping. Yeah.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]
[Kitty:] Well I reckon that erm... Andy ought to sort mine out. And he's rowing with that blonde chick.
[speaker006:] And you're so jealous?
[Kitty:] I am.
[speaker006:] [LAUGHTER]