[Janet:] Hello
[Frederick:] Hello... how are you?
[Janet:] Er How are you?
[Frederick:] Alright.
[Janet:] I'm not gonna pass it down to you.
[Frederick:] You're not?
[Janet:] No.
[Frederick:] Are you sure of that?
[Janet:] I'm gonna leave you to it. Pete
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Janet:] [LAUGHTER] it's Fred []. I'll leave, I, I won't stay with you cos I don't want you get too
[Frederick:] Okay then.
[Peter:] Collapse, me too.
[Janet:] Go in and sit down a sec....
[Frederick:] I'm moderately well. Let me come quite clean... on that and tell you that you, at the very moment I hope you are being recorded....
[Peter:] Good heavens.... a cross section....
[Frederick:] Yes er actually the lady dropped in on me yesterday so I...
[Peter:] Well I suppose it's erm
[Frederick:] Sounds quite an interesting
[Peter:] an interesting idea.
[Frederick:] Yeah, I thought so....
[Peter:] I'm not convinced... that... we can establish... exactly what we're after... erm... the sort of conversation or communication
[Frederick:] What
[Peter:] that people use.
[Frederick:] Yeah, it seems to me that erm... they are... it's er going to be a comparative thing [cough] from... nineteen ninety two, and then in, we'll say nineteen ninety seven for argument's sake....
[Peter:] The trouble is
[Frederick:] Or, or or gradually er on....
[Peter:] increasingly I think nowadays... people... converse in... not a foreign language, because the... terms that people use are... familiar but meanings that they... intend... are not, and th th th the computer people are the worst because they use ordinary words... which mean completely different things in the
[Frederick:] Than
[Peter:] context of,o o of people just
[Frederick:] Yeah
[Peter:] talking
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah.
[Peter:] and... there they, they talk about a database... which is a... it's not an English word
[Frederick:] No a computer
[Peter:] so what on earth does it mean?
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] Well... I used the word to mo er in a report I was writing [sigh] [whispering] years ago []... it was ten years ago... and I knew what I meant but I hadn't sat down and defined what I meant, perhaps I should have done.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] Since then a... [sigh] program's been written called Database One which means something completely different... which has been updated to Database Two and Three and may be Four, which mean different things, that's why they've got different numbers, they do more clever things... and... nowadays you talk, you hear people talking about databases and they all mean different things. They usually mean... a file... of information which is processed by different, completely different
[Frederick:] [cough]
[Peter:] computer systems. One, as it were, to pick out addresses, one to pick out... socio-economic groups, one to pick out motor cars, one to pick out number of bedrooms, one to pick out whatever, and... trivially or, or superficially everyone says the same thing, a database, it's on the database, now
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] the file is there, that's a computer term, or... exactly that, a l a, a listing of names, addresses and houses and cars and everything else, and a file is a defined computer term, what you do with it is the next thing
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] and... the way in which you do what you do with it... depends on what you put in. If you only put people in who are owner-occupiers then you will not have all the information, all the people, who are in rented accommodation.
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah.
[Peter:] If you only put in people who live in houses, you'll not have all the people who live in maisonettes and flats
[Frederick:] Mm yeah
[Peter:] . If you are... not eligible to be put in if you don't have a motor car then you're discounting an enormous number of people who may have motorcycles or motor caravans or, you know, something which is perfectly valid but it invalidates the information that you think you are getting out of the file because you only put in... certain... perfectly reasonable, groups of er of things and i in, in, in Boots there's a, there's a er there's a... a wonderful expression or... actually is, is the one I'm particularly thinking about, you know we, we sell... shall we say a million bottles of aspirin a year, it is in fact considerably more than that, and that is perfectly reasonable and valid and... mm... but... in the definition of that we obviously only included what Boots the Chemists sold because that's all the people who
[Frederick:] Yeah, that's
[Peter:] sold bottles
[Frederick:] Yeah
[Peter:] of aspirin
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] made by Boots. But now of course there's Crooks and that means, not bottles of aspirins, bad example, but Strepsils the lozenges for example, are now sold in an enormous range of private pharmacies which are not Boots and they are therefore completely outside the term output, it may be a restricted term, it may not be the one we want, but that is what it was meant and that is what the number is generated from.... Now of course er... we've sold the er chain of chemists in Canada who might have sold bottles of aspirin but, before we sold the chain, there was another enormous quantity of bottles of aspirin which wasn't defined, it was... something which was introduced after, long after we defined what we meant by outputs of aspirin. And... the rate of change of, of, of... society... no the background to what we're doing, shifts the... goalposts is the fashionable term but what you thought you meant you no longer mean, and of course, if one is meticulously methodical, one adjusts the definition as the circumstances change
[Frederick:] Yes, yeah
[Peter:] we don't do that.
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] Not with a thing like a outputs of aspirin, I mean everyone in Boots knows what the outputs of aspirin are... just strange that they are in fact three times what we'd thought they were and we've course there's Crooks, course there's this, course there's that... tremendous discernment, tremendous understanding but if you haven't got that tremendous understanding, you've just joined the company, you [LAUGHTER] think you know [] something and you don't because... not what they think they are
[Frederick:] Mm, mm
[Peter:] and er...
[Frederick:] Anyway, how are you?...
[Peter:] I, I'm not too bad.... I feel that er... it's been a, a slightly peculiar month really.... Sort of, when we went to see Jan's mother for Christmas, I was saying to myself yeah, mm... this time last year... I was on holiday from work
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] now I am retired and er... yes last year I was feeling a bit decrepit, you know I used to go for a full wal walk round after lunch, after dinner, around where she lives and... [whispering] it's much harder now [].
[Frederick:] Mm, how long is it since you [cough] knocked off work... sick?
[Peter:] Well I got flu in February last year
[Frederick:] February ninety one?
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] S so... ah.
[Peter:] And I never went back.
[Frederick:] Yeah. But you were presumably feeling not well before then?... Yeah.
[Peter:] Well you, you, you, you, you know the, you know the, the scenario that... [sigh] everything goes wrong, you know, everything goes wrong you know from time to time and you say to yourself oh it'll get better
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] it gets better... and you say ooh I'm tired
[Frederick:] Yes, that's right.
[Peter:] oh I've had a bit of a day or erm ooh, whatever it is, and erm... I... said to myself I am making allowances for being tired and getting, getting on a bit, you know, and [sigh] that went on for quite a while actually until I said to myself [LAUGHTER] [LAUGHTER] I'm making up allowances you know, I'm []
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah.
[Peter:] there is something seriously, seriously queer... you know maybe it's a brain tumour, you know, maybe it's er I'm going potty, maybe it's all sorts of things, and fortunately I er I s I went to the vet and erm... [LAUGHTER] two weeks before he retired [LAUGHTER] but you know he, he was full of experience, that's really what I'm saying, he wouldn't be retiring otherwise
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah
[Peter:] and er he said to himself there's something I, I, I don't know what it is necessarily but there is something, go to a specialist and the specialist was very very good... you know blah blah blah blah you want some te I want some tests, you know, so I had some tests, you know and... the crew that were doing the tests they knew what they were looking for and they either found it or they didn't, don't know. But in due course... er... when I was still off with flu, erm back to the specialist another test, you know, and... that was er... March, April of last year and the result of it was that there is something in there which is characteristic of what's, what we call multiple sclerosis which... seems to me is about as broad as it's long, you know, it's, it's a very large
[Frederick:] Yes i i i it's one of those erm illnesses that erm... the average person knows of it and, and knows... just a little bit but doesn't know very much.
[Peter:] Well an an an and I, it seems to me that the, the er I mean you go, you go to the er to the M S Society and you find... just about everybody there, you know, you find people who, who are in wheelchairs, you find people who are walking around, you find people who are... er... controlling their diet... you find people who are obs s taking extreme... dietary... precautions, no, not precautions, no they are taking extreme care of their diet, er er I mean on gluten-free diets and you know what that means
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] you can't have anything which has any
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] wheat or barley or anything connected... and you find other people who are walking around relatively... independently and you find people who are walking around... slowly [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] and you find erm... people like Lynn you know, bless her, who now, who... isn't too bad when she's not too bad and isn't too good when she's not too good, you know, and... it is such a very very... Not only can you not put anything visibly in... in common with everyone that's got it, even the people [LAUGHTER] that have got it can't say [] I cannot do this... period, they say oh well I'm not too good now but maybe last week or maybe next week
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah.
[Peter:] So it's erm... it's all a bit peculiar.... You now have to get, in er er, because there was a sort of erm gradation from being off ill, which wasn't familiar, to being off long term sick which you can't have any experience of... to erm early retirement on health grounds and you just can't have any experience of that either... erm to being retired and it's,i i it's, it's quite interesting
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] [LAUGHTER] going from one to the other in a year [] [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] Yeah, I thought it was longer than that you know.
[Peter:] Well erm the er... th th th the first and most... horrific incidence was I think... in the May, no no no it wasn't May, it was... when we went down to s to Cats in London... which was... at the end of... eighty nine... beginning of... ninety... and I went to, I went to the... the doctor in June of nineteen ninety and... odd things were sort of going through nineteen ninety, but it wasn't until nineteen ninety one... and I was off ill and... it all went
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] so it's, it's all part of er life's rich tapestry
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] and erm
[Frederick:] Yeah. And is Janet, has Janet been able to go back to work yet? Er obviously she's not fit at the moment.
[Peter:] Well
[Frederick:] [cough]
[Peter:] she's been back
[Frederick:] She has? Yeah.
[Peter:] and erm in fact she was back all the... all the, all the summer
[Frederick:] No I meant... fairly recently
[Peter:] No.
[Frederick:] is it since she er was not well, mm.
[Peter:] Erm we had gone down to, to, to... Bognor to the christening of her, our... nephew and... she wasn't too,th that was in November, it was sort of middle of November, and... something was going wrong there and so when I, when I was retiring on the twenty seventh of November she couldn't come in and er...
[Frederick:] Was that to Boots? D yeah, yeah.
[Peter:] month of December was sort of off and... trying to do odd things and then she... went down with this, this flu er... which was... progressively worse since the new year. So, you know what these girls are, they sort of I personally, you know, as it were a trained scientist, a certified chemist who... you tend to, to take a, a slightly... er diagnostic view of things, but that's not quite right, but you take a slightly... objective view of things and I, I, I, I've been thinking to myself... [sighing] ah it is [] rotten unfair on girls because sometimes sort of between about fifteen and twenty five, but now I suppose because they're all growing up so much earlier it's between ten and twenty, they have a pretty monumental change, they, and, and... it's not a bundle of laughs but they can talk to their friends, they can see their friends and talk to their mothers, they can get a vague way it's gonna affect them and they can... you know, sort of, let's say twenty, twenty five... settle into a routine which has... variations every, during the four weeks and they vary between individuals, I mean... it's well known
[Frederick:] Yeah, that's right.
[Peter:] you know that s some don't really have a great deal of problem, others really do have a sort of off work for two or three days every month and it's not a bundle of laughs because, you know, that really must be difficult, but... they, they get a rough idea of how it... for them
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] and it goes through their, for the rest of their twenties, the rest of their thirties and most of their forties and then suddenly [shouting] bang [] maybe something ghastly seems to be happening which they are absolutely unaware of, you know, they don't know why they are... crying or, or... er unable to cope with whatever they can't cope with... and that's it, that's them off and they start worrying about er osteoporosis and you know an enormous number of, of now medically defined problems of the menopause, and they may start going on to all sorts of things like hormone replacement therapy or even primrose oil or whatever the hell... and they're sitting there... at an age when they are... fairly loaded up with experience and maturity and all the rest of it [whispering] and they don't know what they are doing [].... All the... wisdom of er in, in writing and doctors and everything else says [LAUGHTER] oh it all varies you know some do this and some do that [] some go straight through in a regal dignified way and they just carry on into relatively old age, you know, smooth as... relaxed, nothing to worry about, away.
[Frederick:] Mm, mm
[Peter:] And... tt Jan was er was... er wondering... during last year and went on to hormone replacement therapy because she was... and the doctor was a bit concerned about possible osteoporosis which is erm brittle bone
[Frederick:] Yeah
[Peter:] i it's, it's obviously a thing which, if one can possibly avoid it's a good idea to [LAUGHTER]... and erm... [sigh] I must say it helped but it... you don't know what is helping because you know [LAUGHTER] we don't know what her symptoms are going to be []. Maybe H R T was helping what her symptoms would have been if she hadn't taken them, maybe they were worse because she was, maybe they were the same in spite of it, but I dunno. Er anyhow th th the, the eventual thing was maybe her blood pressure was going up higher than it should and maybe... whether the cumulative stress of having a husband off in my state, maybe... [sigh]
[Frederick:] Yeah what
[Peter:] her, you know maybe all sorts of things
[Frederick:] Yeah well this is,th this is it I mean th th there are often a lot of things happening at the same time er er some of which as you just sort of hinted at are sort of er erm... of a psychological er er have a psychological factor in them which all add to it don't they?
[Peter:] Well... my feeling is that... you know if yo if you're car doesn't run... tinker with the carburettor and if it still isn't running right, tinker with something else, if you like, the fatal thing is [LAUGHTER] to tinker with both [] because then you just don't know what you've got, and erm she's been on, on... this hormone replacement which is er er... no big deal but, you know, hormones are
[Frederick:] Well th
[Peter:] big things.
[Frederick:] I, I, I've met ladies who have, have really benefited
[Peter:] Oh yeah
[Frederick:] from it.
[Peter:] oh yeah.
[Frederick:] Yeah....
[Peter:] Erm... her blood pressure was being, being depressed... er by some other, you know, blood pressure regulator and erm... one of the side effects of hormone replacement may be, yeah, [LAUGHTER] that... people's... susceptibility to migraine is heightened.... So y y y you, you, you, you've got at least three things which are all sort of brewing up there and you think good grief what a, what a, what a state to be in because the poor doctor doesn't know what on earth to do, poor Jan doesn't know, well it's worse for Jan cos she's sitting there thinking I'm going potty or, you know, can't stand properly or you know is leaning over or, or... numb down one side of her face or, or... or... whatever it was, it was i i it was the, the dizziness I think actually which... which was most alarming. And so erm... get flu on top of it all erm [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] Quite.
[Peter:] It really is a very difficult, difficult erm
[Frederick:] Yeah there's quite a bit of flu about at the moment isn't there?
[Peter:] Yeah.... Well what... I know the answer is... is to say don't worry... be concerned but don't worry because worrying doesn't do you no good, it doesn't do the condition no good and it doesn't do everybody else any good either because they just say oh she's... you know what she is, depressed by whatever it is and that's, as it were, objectively logical but... wh wh what seems to me to be the absolutely... overwhelming is to say he's not worried, he's desperately concerned, he's more concerned than humans can possibly be but... if god isn't worried, what on earth are we burning up our resources worrying about because if he's not worried... concerned yes, but he's not worried.
[Frederick:] Who are you talking about now?
[Peter:] God.
[Frederick:] Oh god, yeah. Yeah.
[Peter:] I mean he is desperately concerned, I mean he, he loves us all with a concern which just er er... er er i is greater than anything we can understand, so concern at the... at the slightest... er doubt about, I can't understand how concerned he is but er... I totally relax
[Frederick:] Yeah
[Peter:] but if the god of heaven is concerned... that's fine, he's not worrying because he created the whole thing, therefore it seemed to me pretty good... reason to be concerned
[Frederick:] Concerned but not worried.
[Peter:] but not worried, and I'm certainly not
[Frederick:] Yeah I, well I'm with you mm
[Peter:] you know, lying awake at nights you know... cos er th three and four in the morning... everything's quiet, you know,
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] the heating's off [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] I think people who are... liable to worry about their condition... have a very very difficult time at three and four in the morning and er... old ladies are particularly vulnerable I think.
[Frederick:] Well I, I had a period of waking up at four
[Peter:] Isn't it
[Frederick:] and not going off again.
[Peter:] Isn't it
[Frederick:] Mind you
[Peter:] demoralising?
[Frederick:] Yeah but I'd far sooner do that than not get off to sleep at night.
[Peter:] Yeah I think that's... that's right, you know. That's where everyone's different of course but erm I, I think it is, it is... it is... a factor that erm... one can watch television or can listen to the radio or one can go for a walk or do all sorts of things as it were before [LAUGHTER] noon and midnight but three or four in the morning, you know, when everything is []
[Frederick:] Mm
[Peter:] at a very low level I think it's a very potentially demoralising thing
[Frederick:] Mm al although Yeah although it didn't, it didn't... I w I wasn't too concerned about it, I thought well you know I'm resting er and er I'm the sort of person who only needs about six hours, if I get six hours I'm okay... erm, you know, on a regular basis I'm talking about. So er I mean it didn't really affect me too much.
[Peter:] But it's... a low time isn't it? And it can be
[Frederick:] Mm. Well er well er here again I think er it's the old old story of erm it affects different people different ways. Where some people are... better a at night... I'm erm I'm now talking about before going to bed
[Peter:] Mm.
[Frederick:] th than first thing in the morning... erm... whereas I, I think probably I am probably better as soon as I get up than last thing at night....
[Peter:] Yes er I, I, I, I think... one's either an owl or a... some other bird which,wh wh which doesn't at night but does by, by, by day you know.
[Frederick:] [cough]
[Peter:] Yeah I, I, I think that er... the, the, the M S Society have er er say that we've got eighty thousand members in the United Kingdom, Great Britain, Northern Ireland... only problem is they appear to have eighty thousand different conditions [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] Yeah yeah
[Peter:] That's absolutely right. Every doctor will say you know
[Frederick:] Yeah yeah.
[Peter:] people do differ
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] and some of them differ so much from others who you put in the same box and you
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] think well maybe we've got the box wrong.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] I think, I think that's it and er... tt
[Frederick:] You mentioned Christopher, what er the last time... it's, I'm going back a little while, the last time I was talking with Janet... he, she was a bit unhappy, I think he was in er a teaching practice at the time... and she was wondering how he was going to go on....
[Peter:] [sigh]
[Frederick:] That must be the best part of the year ago I should think though now.
[Peter:] Yeah.... Well the, the, the, the, the sort of, the sort of background as I have seen it he never... struck me as being particularly clever or bright... it's just that he always seemed to be very well taught and academically successful and exams never seemed an undue problem, and so... he went off to... Wolverhampton Poly which he selected for, you know, all the usual reasons, reasonable place, reasonable course, a reasonable this a reasonable that, tt... erm to do computer science which of course all the kids want to do now... erm twentieth centu no it isn't it's a sort of nineteen eighties version of wanting to be an engine driver isn't it? They all want to be... so he went off to be a computer scientist and... either... he was too interested in... er... what he describes as cult television which you think
[Frederick:] [yawn]
[Peter:] but it's not television,i i it's, it's Doctor Who and, and Prisoner and, you know... er very... interesting and very easy for enthusiasts to... direct a lot of their time and energy to... maybe I don't... maybe there was a... increased pressure to work and study... which was erm self motivated rather than being externally imposed, maybe he... maybe there was a [cough] fundamental... [sigh]... lack of enthusiasm in him for... what is described as the hardware of computing, the, the, the, the, the instruments, the machines... maybe there was a less than [cough] comprehensive understanding of what is known as the firmware, that's to say I mean... operating systems that are built into the thing to make it work, you've got to understand... the firmware because otherwise you don't understand what the machine will... think you mean and what that will do and... I would have thought that whereas superficially you can ignore the firmware, it's all in there, it understands... as you, I would have thought, grew into a... er a graduate computer scientist you've got to have some idea about that. Er maybe he was, I think, a little superficial in his enthusiasm for what is referred to as the software, that's to say that's the computer programs that you
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] write, you write and er... feed into the thing which it operates along the rules defined by its firmware which someone else has put into it. Anyhow, whatever it was, maybe... a little, as Jan says, he also had a f a bad flu bug at a bad time... anyhow he crashed out of the computer science course... and he announced that he was... only regarding the computer science course as being a stepping stone to being a teacher so the sensible thing to do would be to go on to the teacher training course at Lancashire, an education course, cos that's what he wanted to do. So that cost an awful lot of money because he was on a grant of course and he, he spent er about a year as a trainee teacher and we thought that was great because he was, he was dealing with, with er...
[Frederick:] Wasn't he i in juniors yeah yeah
[Peter:] Well I can't remember what the terms are, infants er
[Frederick:] There's infants and juniors isn't there?
[Peter:] Yeah it,i it's the very young ones
[Frederick:] Ah infants.
[Peter:] it was the very young ones and er... the vast majority of... infant teachers are girls
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] and so he had a... a degree of uniqueness and er in the area that he was... vast numbers of... ethnic minorities... so he was er he was... a white male vegetarian
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] and I would have thought it was absolutely great, you know, [LAUGHTER] he really, I would have though [] had a stimulating, challenging... lovely environment to, to, to be in, I, I, I, I, I hoped that if he was going, I thought he was going to... go on, it was just going to be very expensive tt paying his fees, his this
[Frederick:] [sigh]
[Peter:] I was therefore... a little surprised and very disappointed when he failed his teaching practice. Erm... I was, I was a bit erm... about that, you know, I just though what on earth now?... He is unemployed and receiving state benefit as employed which [whispering] isn't very much []
[Frederick:] Is he at home or is he down there?
[Peter:] He wants, wants to stay with us forever
[Frederick:] Yeah quite. Quite....
[Peter:] I erm... am obviously feeling guilty cos I'm not feeling guilty but... it makes me... cough a bit to go to the post office every week and get vastly more disabl disability er invalidity benefit than he gets, vastly more.... And each month Boots Pensions Limited pay me a very reasonable... pension.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] large, not generous but I think good grief poor Christopher's sitting there. I agree the state is picking up his, his... rent... which is er er quite a lot er but even so, you know, [whispering] he hasn't got very much money and... cannot have a very []... enthusiastic view of what the future holds
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah. It's a very bad time.
[Peter:] It is bad
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] So he's, he's now doing er A level psychology and G S C E sociology at... night school... whilst he is keeping his days free to try and get a job... which is not easy anywhere
[Frederick:] Right.
[Peter:] it is... no easier in greater Wolverhampton, and if you have eczema and a congenitally weak back you aren't actually falling over yourself in prospects for... the best... chances. So erm we're both... very concerned, not worried, very concerned about what on earth he is doing and what he is going to do.
[Frederick:] Yeah quite.
[Peter:] You know he's twenty two, twenty three years old, you know, you know... whatever he's doing he's liable to be with him for a few years yet... and what can one see... [whispering] []
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] You know?
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] There just doesn't seem to be anything... on the, on the... horizon. So after he's, he's sat these two exams... erm
[Frederick:] Is he doing them this year?
[Peter:] Yeah,
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] he may be eligible to be on a [cough] training course, for what we don't know, but er after you've been unemployed six months you are either required to or you have the opportunity to, or you can... go on a state training course but what they train you for or to do we, we haven't actually got... defined yet. And... possibly... either after that or... simultaneously with that or... to transfer there, he might go up to... live in his father's house up in Yorkshire, Mytholmroyd... er er I dunno but it seems to me that if there is a worse place to be unemployed than Wolverhampton, West Riding has gotta be erm... a [LAUGHTER] competitor []
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah
[Peter:] and Hebden Bridge and Sowerby Bridge seem to be, you know, on each side of M Mytholmroyd, you know, on a railway line from Halifax which goes through to and Todmorden and places. Beautiful part of the world, you know, maybe that's exactly what you wanna do, you wanna kick out Wolverhampton and go for Mytholmroyd particularly if you've got a house or if your father's got a house there which is there maybe a lot, a lot, a lot going for it but... you're looking for this long term prospects
[Frederick:] Yeah quite er it doesn't sound too good....
[Peter:] So er I [sigh] I thought to myself well... I dunno, I dunno... all these Newton girls have been off to Sri Lanka or... or, or Zaire or wherever... [LAUGHTER] and you'd [] you know, isn't that great? Don't really want to... he's not very keen on the prospect of going V S O or... whatever. And then I say to myself oh come on, oh don't say when I was your age I wanted... did... nearly or whatever. Say
[Frederick:] But then they have to er raise money to go.
[Peter:] Right....
[Frederick:] I mean it
[Peter:] I think it's only, I don't think [LAUGHTER] he, he's [] there's any cheap answers
[Frederick:] No.
[Peter:] and I know la well some time when... retirement was looking on the... on the horizon... I was saying to him you're not alone... but, you know, you've gotta be looking towards being on your own because of course
[Frederick:] [cough]
[Peter:] mother and I hope father and I will... be around to want to pick up what we can to help... you've gotta start thinking about... standing on your own feet, you know, because... admittedly I er I, I, I... could turn out to be... not as bad a financial state as I anticipated but I never was stinking rich and I'm certainly not stinking rich now, so... erm I mean
[Frederick:] No but quite apart from that, er th there's... anybody er needs to aim to be self sufficient don't they?
[Peter:] Well I, I, I, I think that you've got to... move in that direction rather than maintaining the status quo. So erm... if, if it was er if it was a matter of... oh bankrolling him out to wherever it was or... supplementing his own resources [LAUGHTER] okay, but the, the experience and I mean the personal experience as well as the er the skills experience
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] that
[Frederick:] Yeah but he's got to want to do it.
[Peter:] Quite.
[Frederick:] Er erm that's the, that's the crucial bit.
[Peter:] Absolutely. There is no possible way of shipping an unwilling young person out.
[Frederick:] No that's right. Because even
[Peter:] I don't think there ever was.
[Frederick:] e e even those that er you know are definitely wanting to go and keen can [LAUGHTER] get homesick [] fairly soon.
[Peter:] Oh yeah. But you know erm if, if, if you look back to the days of the Raj... erm it was a... even within my living memory, erm people were joining the armed services or the overseas er er... corp and the civil service overseas I suppose, yeah, er at a, at a fairly... humble level and would either work their way up or they drink themselves stupid or they get mixed up with someone or they, you know... but it was a, a, a... recognized way of, of, of going, you know, either join the services or the
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] or the church of course was another one, erm but... none of these [cough] traditional [cough] erm... avenues exist now
[Frederick:] No.
[Peter:] and more and more and more people are looking for experience, they're looking for vocations, they're looking for er... the sort of... attributes which, you know, aren't actually overflowing when you're unemployed in Wolverhampton
[Frederick:] That's right.
[Peter:] having failed out on two poly courses. So erm we as, we as I say are very concerned about er... that can't have done Jan any good, that's
[Frederick:] No no, that's right.
[Peter:] She really has... this er... attitude which... I cannot understand because erm a a as I think it was Al Reeve said, you know, erm some people can't bear children, we can't, but we like them [LAUGHTER] but if you have actually borne children, you are in other words a mother, you've gotta have a... attitude, not only to children in general but to your children in particular, which is very very difficult for... er a male to understand and a non-father, it's gonna be very very difficult cos I personally don't have any children at all and therefore it is very very difficult for me to even comprehend but... given that I can erm I can sympathize with something I do not comprehend [whispering] it must be monumentally difficult for her
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] it really must [].
[Frederick:] Yes, oh yes,th th that's right, there's no doubt about it.
[Peter:] And erm poor Jan is... saying what... [LAUGHTER] have I done, should I have done, could I have done []
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] and, you know, once you start into, into that er scenario yo yo yo you, you, you can't... very very little erm opportunity for anything because... all you can do is, is to say what do we do now, never mind what we could, should or might have done then, what do we do now because the future is that way and the past is...
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] We can be influenced by history, we can, we learn from history, we can do all sorts of things about history but what er er as far as... er... Christopher's concerned, what do we do now because that... I just don't know! I just
[Frederick:] No.
[Peter:] don't know!
[Frederick:] No that's right.
[Peter:] And erm... the really distressing thing is... I think Christopher is saying what to do now... I think he is saying oh you know
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] I, I've been
[Frederick:] Yeah
[Peter:] depending on, sponging off er whatever... for however long and now he is going, is, is retiring on health grounds, you know, he really isn't going to be er able to bankroll me
[Frederick:] You mean he, he's now talking about you? Yeah, yeah.
[Peter:] Well I mean, yeah, he
[Frederick:] Er thinking, yeah.
[Peter:] he's not, he's not, he's not a, he's not stupid, Christopher, he, he's certainly not stupid, and er... he must have seen, I mean I assume he keeps his bank statements, I mean I'm afraid we have one or two bank statements which show... thousands of pounds that he's received from us over the last year erm and, you know, he can't blind because they've all gone through his bank account, you know, he must
[Frederick:] Yeah, quite
[Peter:] be thinking good grief, you know, I haven't had a... a, a, a successful, happy... year or so
[Frederick:] No.
[Peter:] and... it has, it has represented volumes of money which the state can't or won't or doesn't... carry on with. So I think he's sitting there in Wolverhampton about this time wondering what on earth he is...
[Frederick:] I'm sure he must be
[Peter:] looking forward to and... [sigh]... that is a very very... painful... situation to be in isn't it?
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] I, I just don't know what he's, he's, he's, he's, he's seeing his future as being and erm... maybe cos we haven't got, maybe erm it's because of the... generation gap, maybe it's because of communication problems either between me and him or the young and old or whatever but, you know, he just doesn't seem to have anything... to... volunteer er other than ah well I'll try and get a job or ah well I'll try and get some more qualifications or whatever.... So, yeah, that's sort of
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah
[Peter:] anoth another bit in the
[Frederick:] Yeah. Where, whereabouts is Lyndsey in her training now?
[Peter:] Oh she's erm... tt... she is the... brighter... spark on the horizon I suppose, you know?... [sigh] It makes me cough a bit because when... I came on the scene he was the one academically everything and she was the one who was academically rather... disadvantaged but she, she was, you know,no not having the greatest of, of, of success but erm... it was said that she wouldn't be able to be a student nurse because she wasn't bright enough but you know she... clocked up the O levels and A levels like guide badges and she went off on this pre-nursing course in South Notts you know and... she was in and out of the Queens on a course and... people and, you know, and... she said I... don't know all the answers but I've a rough idea about some of the questions, I want to be a nurse and... off she went to, to, to Walsall and... I'm not saying she's a brilliant student nurse but erm... absolutely clear that she's better than some of the others. And er, you know, that's... negative if you will but... it's fact
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] and [LAUGHTER] she's still enjoying it which is great []
[Frederick:] Yeah, so, so what year is she, er third year? Yeah.
[Peter:] Mm. Takes her finals this, this summer. And erm not only er do I think that er she'll probably... be reasonably good with, with finals... I'm absolutely sure that her course reports from, you know, all the places where she's been will be... better than most of the other candidates, you know, because she brings home these,the these reports, you know, and she says it looks alright, you know,... beginning of the course... Nurse is lacking in this or has not got that or is not, you know, you think mm pretty... the end of the course... Nurse got the hang of, is very good, has done this, has done that, has supported this and you think mm pretty, well that's lovely [LAUGHTER] you know but she [] didn't have the experience... during the whatever, she had been given the experience and the end of it... brilliant
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] A or whatever it is, you know?
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] And er I, I would therefore think that i it's, it's unlikely that she'll crash out on her exams. But if she did... I think she will pass out on her record because perhaps, even more delightful than someone who, you know, sitting down to an exam and, and... doing reasonably well on it. So... I, I, I think that er one of the, the... comforting things which er... I c I can see is that she has grown in self confidence, not cockiness, self confidence. She has learnt, she has absorbed... inwardly digested a quantity, a consid considerable quantity of it, I think that she will be a reasonably... useful... nurse to have around.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] That's lovely
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah
[Peter:] You know, they, they, they can be a bit hard, they can be a bit bitter, they can drink a bit too much, they can be a bit promiscuous, they can be all sorts of rather... iffy things but I don't think Lyndsey will. I, I, I, I've got, I think all the evidence is building towards her being...
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] a good little nurse.
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] What on earth she does then... I dunno.... Erm... mm I can't remember, Alan and Josie's daughter down the road, erm... she... passed out as a nurse from Queens a while ago and you know what students are in general, nurses in particular, there was, you would expect, one hell of a party when the exam results were public... what came out of the... [shouting] the party was when she got a job [] as a nurse. And that is absolutely mind blowing to me
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] because I can remember, and it's not that long ago for goodness sake, that if you qualified as a nurse, and will probably tell even the same story to an extent, there was no problem about a job, you were a certified nurse, bang.
[Frederick:] That's right. Well er I mean that's... not going back too far either.
[Peter:] Well... it ain't now
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] and er er er er the situation is that you can, in, in some of these nursing schools where they have taught you and it is their letterhead that's on your pass-out, they still aren't in a position to say oh well there's a job of course because you don't need to have passed out top, you know, to be guaranteed a job, there ain't no jobs... guaranteed for no one. And er I just don't know what to do. California and Saudi Arabia are two of the, you know, destinations that come to mind but erm... I don't know about that either, you know, if she doesn't...
[Frederick:] What month does she take the exam?
[Peter:] Oh I er er I think it's erm... July or er June, July or August, it's, it's, it's it's
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] the summer. I think she maybe takes the exams in June and gets the results in July and... er then we're fifty in August and then we go off to North America in September I think, you know, er I think, I, I can't quite remember the details but erm
[Frederick:] You've got a holiday booked?
[Peter:] Yes, yes
[Frederick:] Good.
[Peter:] well we've erm... we've erm... we've been rather... tempted by the west coast er... I personally want to see the Grand Canyon and erm I'd like to see San Francisco... so the package which is being offered to the Boots Association with whom we've been away several times and... we lo we like it as, as a, as a background because you've got a rough idea, you know, the people you're going with
[Frederick:] Yes.
[Peter:] there are, there are very very few who are chasing women or men and there are very very few who are er... requiring to be prised out of the bar erm... at two o'clock in the morning. There are very very few who are er interested in finding a gambling haunt or a, you know, television or film theatre or whatever, you know, er er by and large there are a lot of people who... chat to a waitress if they're a bloke or, or chat to the, the whatever it is if they're girls but er in, in a, in a friendly way, who will have a drink but will not be paralytically drunk, who may watch television or a, you know, film or theatre or something if it's appropriate but won't get twitched if it isn't, you know, and... and by and large erm all the people we've, we've, we've, we've come across... I came across before have been very very good company and it is, it is delightful to have the... have you, cos have you been on a Si on a Signpost?
[Frederick:] Yes... a Signpost holiday, yeah
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] Well er... I think that getting away the [mimicking] oh you live in Nottingham, oh fancy that [] you know, you, you know where you're starting, you know, everyone either works for Boots or used to work for Boots and, you know, you've got a rough idea, you, you, you don't need to go into the [mimicking] oh fancy that [] you know, all that's... arranged so erm I think i i it's,i i i it's the middle of September when we either go to Los Angeles, I think we go to Los Angeles, and fool around Hollywood and San Diego and places and down to to see a and then away off to erm Las Vegas and Flagstaff... you know about this meteor crater in Flagstaff, that apparently is why you go to Flagstaff tt a meteor came, the meteor crater is there tt and then the Grand Canyon and... go through national park which San Francisco and erm... spend erm two or three days there and then come back again. Tt so erm... we are thinking it will be, like everybody else, it's not a good idea to put too much off [LAUGHTER] too far into the future []
[Frederick:] Oh no no, you want to go.
[Peter:] I, I think, well I think so. And so er friends of ours, he's got... muscular dystrophy... and he's sort of in the same sort of and so we... we'll have a decrepit contingent, [LAUGHTER] he and I will [LAUGHTER] sort of and the two girls who are relatively young and healthy will go charging around and... taking photographs and... doing the tourist thing.
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] Yes.... Sort of on the, on the horizon for the end of the year and er... I, I er don't know how we're going to... do but erm... I think the answer probably is to... take a chunk at a time on the basis that erm one isn't going to be able to charge around as violently, actively as some people will.
[Frederick:] Yeah, yes er erm that's oh you must because then you have the memories.
[Peter:] Exactly. Exactly. Not only does no one want to take those away, no one can take them away
[Frederick:] That's right.
[Peter:] that's er that's right, you know, and... erm what I'm saying to myself is okay, you know, er... maybe it will be tiring, I'm sure it will... maybe it will be erm... expensive, like take a taxi because... [LAUGHTER] can't walk, you know, erm [] erm okay
[Frederick:] [yawn]
[Peter:] that's, that's, that's the way it is and er
[Frederick:] Yeah....
[Peter:] we'll... I think, be okay and, provided we don't excessively energetic and too stupid, get too hot in the bath or that's not a very good thing to do, or crash out with er flu or something... I dare say anyone can crash out, I mean you, you, you could be a president of the United States
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER] Exactly [] [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] and be in, in Japan and you can crash out but er
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] we'll see how it er... What are your,wh what are you pla er er your plans? Are you, are you going on a, a ship again or?
[Frederick:] No I, I haven't got any plans at the moment, you know I've been sort of er... I usually go around this time you know, er
[Peter:] It it's certainly looking...
[Frederick:] Yeah I've still got swollen fingers which I am er er I've needed as much physio on these as on, on the finger that was done.
[Peter:] Why was that?
[Frederick:] [sigh] They just swoll sw swelled up and erm I don't know why but I'm told it's not unusual.
[Peter:] Mm. Because of the, the tinkering around it must do a bit of
[Frederick:] And erm... but as I say I, I, I have, I still haven't got full use of those....
[Peter:] Are they, are they coming?
[Frederick:] Yes I... yes they are er but I seem to have reached a, a stage where they're not [LAUGHTER] progressing as much as I would like [] you know? They're, they're, oh they're vastly improved to, to, I mean when I first had the er plaster off, which was for ten days it was, I could not believe it that [LAUGHTER] these fingers were not going [] but I'm told that that's quite usual.
[Peter:] Well... i it's a very complicated bit of gear and
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] it's been tinkered around with I mean I don't
[Frederick:] Yes but er I think i it's a combination of things, it's the fact that you've got your erm hand in plaster so your fingers are not moving and you lose muscle tone so quickly.
[Peter:] Mm. Particularly with something which is otherwise in
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] almost continuous use
[Frederick:] Ah right.
[Peter:] perhaps not to a very violent er extent but it's, it's, it's moving.
[Frederick:] Yeah that's right, that's right. So er to get to your question erm I've sort of not... been doing anything erm I was hoping that I would be sort of fully fit round about now and then if I saw something on teletext [LAUGHTER] er that was good I'd just buzz off for a week or so. Cos I... I got one off teletext erm... er it must have been nineteen ninety now... for Tenerife... four star hotel, seven days, East Midlands Airport for one hundred and fifteen pounds... half board er er the following day which was fantastic. I mean everything was good, the flight, the hotel, the weather....
[Peter:] Er and, and these are erm... to fill up the, the exercise, the...
[Frederick:] Yes they're er er
[Peter:] short term
[Frederick:] they're a filling up, the plane, yeah. Filling up the plane and the hotel, spaces that the, this particular company had, yeah.... You don't see many like that, I'm not expecting that again.
[Peter:] Well.
[Frederick:] Especially East Midlands Airport, it's very seldom you see an East Midlands Airport bargain. [cough]... But erm no I shall er
[Peter:] Is, is, is that national... nationally advertised?
[Frederick:] Yes, yes
[Peter:] So
[Frederick:] so most of them are London Gatwick... or Manchester. Most of them er er that are advertised are from London Gatwick. [yawn]...
[Peter:] So as it were you, you, you turn up... holidays... and you, you, you, you, you scroll through until you
[Frederick:] Yeah. Well they, they, they scroll through themselves, I mean you have no control... er they are on three five two is one of the n the numbers and er there, there's probably be about four to six pages which, you know, go er er er you have to wait, I mean they just go through I don't know about twenty seconds perhaps each
[Peter:] Oh so
[Frederick:] page
[Peter:] there, there is time to erm
[Frederick:] Oh and you can hold... i i if there's one comes up you can hold it.
[Peter:] Oh I see yes, yes.
[Frederick:] Mm. Yeah....
[Peter:] ... a a and yes that is, that is quite erm... that is quite erm
[Frederick:] You'd be interested in teletext, you must have a teletext set next time you have a set.
[Peter:] Well yeah I suspect we will but erm...
[Frederick:] I, I don't mean just for holidays, I, I
[Peter:] ... i i it seems that an enormous number of people who have got it erm... do... find it er useful. Whether it is er... particularly important to an individual depends on the individual again
[Frederick:] Mm mm
[Peter:] and er I suspect most people would be... only keeping an eye on the foreign exchange page, you know, when they were thinking about buying
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah, yeah but I mean there's the weather forecast including the local weather forecast erm that you can switch on any time and er... news of course erm oh er er lots and lots. It's, it's amazing how much there is [cough]
[Peter:] Do you get a teletext directory?...
[Frederick:] You
[Peter:] Well you know it's gonna be page three five two but how do you know it's page three five two, do you just
[Frederick:] di did, yeah, did ori ah ah yes but er
[Peter:] do you go through, through [LAUGHTER] three five one before you got there []?
[Frederick:] Yeah they, they erm... when you switch the teletext on it comes on to a hundred, that's the thing, and, and, and on that a hundred they'll give you... er news one O two or whatever it is, you know, and so on. But also one nine nine is the index of the whole lot....
[Peter:] And, and you, you, you, do you... select Ceefax or, or Oracle? Or
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah you
[Peter:] does it
[Frederick:] No er yes,wha what you do er okay one is B B C One so if you put text on that, then obviously Ceefax will come up.
[Peter:] Yes.
[Frederick:] Now you've got to go back to T V to get
[Peter:] Change to
[Frederick:] to three
[Peter:] I T V
[Frederick:] and then you text for your Oracle.
[Peter:] Oh I see.... Cos it's,i i it's, it's, it's, it's, it's very very clever isn't it?
[Frederick:] It is very clever.
[Peter:] It's, it's... is it two lines the... picture that have got the teletext data on them?...
[Frederick:] How do you mean?...
[Peter:] Where is it?... Where's the information? It must be transmitted
[Frederick:] Ah yes.
[Peter:] and it must be transmitted on
[Frederick:] Yeah
[Peter:] B B C One and I T V
[Frederick:] it's er on B B C One and B B C Two er
[Peter:] The same?
[Frederick:] I think they are the same but three and four are different. Er B B C Two I think B... er... three and four are different.
[Peter:] Channels
[Frederick:] Four
[Peter:] three and four?
[Frederick:] is different to Oracle
[Peter:] Oracle
[Frederick:] er is well is different to er... er channel three. I think they're probably both Oracle....
[Peter:] Oh so it's just
[Frederick:] Yeah but in other words what I'm saying is that there are diff
[Peter:] It's three page hundreds...
[Frederick:] Yeah
[Peter:] that you've got to look at.
[Frederick:] Yes, yes, yes yes. Erm...
[Peter:] So your
[Frederick:] but but on, no, on your er, no, on your... Oracle er... channel three, one nine nine... what will be shown up on your index will be channel three and channel four
[Peter:] Aha
[Frederick:] so, and, and you will see that's, that er... I don't know whether some are all the same, but erm there are different, yeah, you know, erm... in other words what I'm saying is they're not on both channels....
[Peter:] So they're, I don't know whether it's,i it's terribly reactionary to say that we really want one teletext... cos your holidays, might they be coming up on... Ceefax
[Frederick:] No, no,i it's pur it's all
[Peter:] Oracle
[Frederick:] Oracle, yeah, cos it's an advertisement, I mean the people who are... er er it is er being paid for by the people who advertise it. Yeah....
[Peter:] Yeah I, I think you'll find... that erm when the... colour er when B B C Two came along and all the aerials went to U H F, we went from a four O five line
[Frederick:] That's right
[Peter:] to a six two five
[Frederick:] Something.
[Peter:] line and I think you'll find that now there are in fact six two three lines of television information, and there are two lines which are dedicated to carrying teletext data
[Frederick:] Oh
[Peter:] and I think that's where the, there's no sound is there?...
[Frederick:] No, you get the sound of the erm the programme.
[Peter:] Oh really?
[Frederick:] Oh yes, if you, you, no you get the sound, if I erm s say I've got Oracle erm channel three on and I switch to text, I will still get the sound of the television programme
[Peter:] Ah I see. Which will be confusing.
[Frederick:] Well you can mute it if you want you see.
[Peter:] Yes of course, yes of course
[Frederick:] And you can mix it. You, you can have your erm... if you were watching a programme and er, I've done this, erm if you're watching a programme and you want to see what the weather forecast is er you can have that superimposed on your programme. And, and the other way
[Peter:] What in a, in a...
[Frederick:] No, no over the top.
[Peter:] Over the top?
[Frederick:] Over the top.
[Peter:] Oh I see.
[Frederick:] And the other thing erm which er er is good, supposing you're watching er a programme and there's a football match on and you're interested in the, the football... er but you don't really want to keep, you know, switching to find out what the score is, er I'm talking about teletext as opposed to a programme, you press the update and it w er and if something's happened, you know, they've changed and there's been a score, it'll come up er [LAUGHTER] er while you're watching the programme, er it'll let you know that erm there's been something happening.... Er it's, it's amazing....
[Peter:] I don't know what that is. It's not you is it?
[Frederick:] It isn't, no. Is it, it's not your er central heating is it?
[Peter:] Ah... might be. It might be.... Yes that, that sounds like it.
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah.
[Peter:] Yes the erm... these things,an and can you er can you record... teletext?
[Frederick:] No, I tried that the other day. No.... Yo fr er you're talking about video?
[Peter:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] Yeah....
[Peter:] And if you're playing a tape back... which was recorded off air... what happens if you push the text button?...
[Frederick:] Don't know.
[Peter:] Because the data, you see, the two lines, I would have thought would have been recorded
[Frederick:] [sigh]
[Peter:] without you meaning it to be recorded
[Frederick:] Ah well I can let me er say this, er... you, you know how some programmes er you can have erm... oh you may not know... [cough] excuse me... erm there are certain programmes which you can er put in eight eight eight and you get captions
[Peter:] Ah ye yes,i if that's available.
[Frederick:] If it's available.
[Peter:] Yes, yes.
[Frederick:] Erm now if you record that programme and then, on video, and then play it back you can't put in eight eight eight and get it.
[Peter:] Oh.... Mm i it, I, I, I, I d I dunno as I say i i it, it, it seems to me to be an incredibly clever
[Frederick:] You would enjoy it. [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] arrangement.
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah, yeah
[Peter:] But erm...... The television of course i is infernally clever, I mean th there's er no doubt that the microchips that erm... takes away the erm the teletext information, stores it and then spits up whatever you ask for is er... two or three P now I suppose and therefore the, the television manufacturer charges hundred pounds to put it in.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Peter:] It's er... it's... you're, you're, you're, you're quite erm... hooked on it?
[Frederick:] Ah well yes I wouldn't like to be without it now. Definitely not....
[Peter:] And is, is there much difference between er Ceefax and Oracle?
[Frederick:] [sigh] Well...
[Peter:] They look more or less the same do they?
[Frederick:] Yeah I mean the news is very similar of course erm
[Peter:] Presumably that's indicated... or is it? Dunno because I think it isn't actually come to think of it... B B C will do their own and I T V will do their own
[Frederick:] Oh yeah oh it's definitely their own, yes. Yeah.... Yeah. So I'm a bit of a newshound so I look at both of course, see what's what. I'm er I'm not saying I, the headlines you see, so I will select the headline I'm interested in....
[Peter:] And would
[Frederick:] And then it'll come up, you know, I'll put in w er one O two is the headlines for Ceefax for instance and then the stories will be from one O three to about one one five or something like that you see. And er... th so er if I'm interested in er George Bush's illness, you know, and that's one O four I'll put in one O four and then that will come up on the screen....
[Peter:] So presumably... wh wh what bank are you with?...
[Frederick:] What... I'm with Barclays.
[Peter:] Oh... I suspect they're you bank with... totally ignorable. If you're with er National Westminster... erm... y y y y you, you, you know about these, these, these... cash tills that you put a card in and
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] ask it questions, it's obviously on the telephone... because you can ask what the balance is and it will tell you, and it can't possibly know that... and Cleethorpes, when you put the card in the Cleethorpes thing, that, you know, your bank balance at Nottingham is... so it's obviously on the telephone erm and it's on the telephone to a central computer which holds quite a lot of information, it accesses
[Frederick:] Quite.
[Peter:] it very very quickly
[Frederick:] That's right, yeah.
[Peter:] so... why shouldn't you telephone that computer?... And the answer is, no reason at all. And if you're with National Westminster, you telephone a, a n a number in Manchester or Birmingham or two or three other places I guess but as far as we're concerned er the Birmingham Manchester one's the cheapest... you, you ring them up and you give them A your identification number... and it immediately tells you what your balance is. Immediately. What do you want to do? Well of course there's a whole range of things you can order, you know, chequebooks and bank statements, you can do all s all sorts of things
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Peter:] you can do with the till in the wall
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] but you can also say I want a transaction too and the machine then comes back to you with one of these sepulchral voices, you know, which is tone
[Frederick:] Yes
[Peter:] generated or whatever, who do you wish to pay to, and... we have four erm electricity board, the gas board, the er er er... credit card and the, can't remember what the fourth one is, you simply say I wanna... pay number four... how much do you wish to pay to the Royal Bank of Scotland... and you say how much you wish to pay in, er in pence... and it immediately says you wish to pay blah blah blah... it will be done. Couple of days later a little note comes in the post saying that you've just paid the National West National Bank Bank of Scotland... twenty three pounds thirty [LAUGHTER] and it's absolutely brilliant!... Barclays haven't got one yet?
[Frederick:] Well er er I think not because I would have heard, I mean obviously they would've er...
[Peter:] Well er Nat West have been very quiet about Action Line erm because they haven't quite got the... the, the, all the... firmware sorted out yet but it's absolutely fantastic, you know
[Frederick:] Mm
[Peter:] it's just, just erm... but i i i er er have you got a, a tone telephone or a pulse telephone?... It's probably a switch
[Frederick:] I've got several [LAUGHTER]
[Peter:] Well erm probably on the back you can select whether it er sends a number by... pulse, and you can tell actually cos it's very... you d you'll dial
[Frederick:] Well the old dial was pulse... was...
[Peter:] The twiddle dial?
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Peter:] Oh yes
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah.
[Peter:] but some push button telephones send... one as one pulse... and two as two pulses
[Frederick:] Yes.
[Peter:] whereas others send wuls er one as a beep and two as a ooh
[Frederick:] Ah
[Peter:] in other words the pitch of the
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I think mine are erm the pulse type, mm.
[Peter:] Well usually erm modern telephones have got a switch on the back and you can switch them to pulse or tone
[Frederick:] Oh? I don't think mine have....
[Peter:] One of those four switches across the top is the pulse tone.
[Frederick:] Oh yeah I can see that.... Yeah.
[Peter:] But erm you bleep with one, one of ours is, is, is erm on... tones now and you can tell the diff you, you, you can tell
[Frederick:] Is that the big match then?...
[speaker005:] Sunday?
[Frederick:] Mm.
[speaker005:] No we're doing erm little matches.
[Frederick:] Ah. Yes, yeah. I just wondered because er Trevor was there I just wondered if he was
[speaker005:] I don't know. I don't know....
[Frederick:] Yeah....
[speaker005:] He hasn't phoned yet has he?
[Frederick:] No I was just, I was just... thinking about the same. [cough]...
[speaker005:] Oh my word, Eddy...... right, off you go then. yeah
[Frederick:] Where are the phones?
[Vicki:] [dog barking] You send him off now, come on
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Vicki:] he won't, won't shout, he won't shout. Come here
[Frederick:] Hello, hello, hello.
[Vicki:] Shh! Come here. Right. She says well I am wagging my tail as well. [LAUGHTER] Come here.
[Frederick:] You're not at Crufts then? [LAUGHTER]
[Vicki:] Oh is it Crufts?
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Vicki:] Oh Luce! You've missed your vocation Luce, there!
[Frederick:] How are you anyway?
[Vicki:] Alright thank you [kissing noise] [dog barking] how are you?
[Frederick:] Oh alright, alright, alright! I'm alright, reasonably.
[Vicki:] Oh you're alright in this part, it's this part is it, that part? Let's have a look... ooh!
[Frederick:] I'm still not er my fingers are still not going
[Vicki:] Yes!
[Frederick:] down, my good ones.
[Vicki:] And it's not quite straight yet is it? Will it straighten?
[Frederick:] Oh well I I'm not expecting it to be a, a miracle.
[Joan:] Come here
[Vicki:] [LAUGHTER] Can you do that with it then []?
[Frederick:] I
[Joan:] You've still got your mike on.
[Frederick:] I know. I'm, I'm now erm having you, having you told me this... having you said that, you just look at that
[Vicki:] Erm... have you been preaching?... Well why do you have it on?
[Frederick:] No I have it on so that you, I can hear you talk.... No.
[Vicki:] [LAUGHTER] Hope not []. [LAUGHTER]... Want me glasses on to read that.
[Joan:] Yeah.
[Vicki:] Is it switched on at the moment?
[Frederick:] Mm. Yeah. It's gonna be switched, it's gonna be switched on all the time I'm with you.
[Vicki:] Oh no!
[Frederick:] It is, it is er read, read it....
[Vicki:] I'm not talking.
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Vicki:] Come and sit down... come and sit down.
[Frederick:] If you don't mind that is, I mean [dog barking] whoops!
[Vicki:] Luce!... Who's that? That's a friend... friend. It's just a friend
[Frederick:] Can I touch you? Will you allow me to touch you? Aye that's alright then isn't it eh?...
[Vicki:] See, quite alright.... Well you were wagging your tail when you were barking weren't you?
[Frederick:] Have you, have you er have you escaped the flu and all that?
[Vicki:] Well I've had the sniffles [cough] at the moment but we've had a lot of... people at work with
[Frederick:] Yeah I know there's so much about isn't there?
[Vicki:] colds, flu, throat infections...
[Joan:] [LAUGHTER] Having read that, can you [] play it back?
[Frederick:] Yes.... We well ye yes I can but er obviously er I, I, I shan't be doing because erm I've got too many er... hopefully too ma d it's much better, it would have been much better if I... was living in a home, you see... where, where we can
[Vicki:] [LAUGHTER] holiday somewhere []
[Frederick:] where we can just have it on all the time. But erm so no, no. A actually I visited somebody the other day and you just forget... you just forget....
[speaker005:] [whispering] []
[Frederick:] No no no I mean i i it is completely anonymous anyway,
[Joan:] Yes.
[Frederick:] I mean no er no one will know.
[Joan:] I just wondered if you could erm... play it back and
[Frederick:] Well I w w yes I mean obviously I need to so erm just to get it...
[Joan:] Right.
[Frederick:] right. O or... to cut out, I mean if, if you said to me something that was de de
[Joan:] [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] confidential or, or anything like that, then, yes, er I mean that's it. You, you just
[Joan:] Like if I started to swear at you.
[Frederick:] Well I'd leave that in of course
[Joan:] [LAUGHTER] Have a seat then [] somewhere or other.
[Frederick:] Thank you.
[Joan:] We, we actually thought Heidi would be back by now, she went to a, a slumber party.
[Frederick:] Oh... and they're slumbering rather a lot are they?
[Joan:] [LAUGHTER] Well it started at half past six last night [].
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER] Oh.
[Joan:] Mm.... And she did have instructions for home by half past twelve but er... mm she
[Frederick:] The erm er on the television last night there was a programme about the fifties that... actually I didn't see it but I taped it and I have seen it this morning er
[Joan:] On television?
[Frederick:] Mm. It was called erm... tt it was... about half past ten I think last night, somewhere
[Joan:] Oh I was reading then.
[Frederick:] Er the trouble about... the trouble with the fifties and er actually it was a very good programme er for... reminiscing about the fifties. Michael Aspel was the one in er charge of it but you know a lot of the old people er and the old erm tt Muffin the Mule and the Fl
[Joan:] Oh
[Frederick:] Flowerpot
[Joan:] enjoyed watching, yeah
[Frederick:] the Flowerpot Men and er the skiffle groups and everything, it's quite good, you know, really nice
[Joan:] Unless... there's anything really special I don't tend to watch it late, I, I prefer to read.
[Frederick:] Well I er well I don't, I, but I put it on video er so I er had a look at it this morning....
[Joan:] It's a nasty dreary morning isn't it?
[Frederick:] It is it is. Erm it was a nice... okay, you can come then? Right, come on then.... Let them know that you're my friend.... There you are you see....
[Joan:] I won't undermine your ego but [LAUGHTER] it's perhaps the chair that she wants rather than you [] [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER] Ah ha don't do that []. Is this your chair?
[Joan:] Yeah. Well it's not hers
[Frederick:] No but you
[Joan:] but
[Frederick:] like it do you?
[Joan:] if Vicki's out at all she likes to erm sit in that chair. Have you been since we've had these new ones?
[Frederick:] [sigh]
[Joan:] We, we were trying to think when it was w that you came. But it took her such a long while before she would sit... in one of these.
[Frederick:] No I don't know. Er I, I
[Joan:] You know we had velvet
[Frederick:] something so yeah something erm
[Joan:] Very, a very long settee.
[Frederick:] Yeah. I, I don't remember really to be honest but I, I erm... erm Malcolm said something once which... so I wasn't surprised, you know, can't remember exactly what.
[Joan:] But we had two, two chairs, one there and one there and that one was the one she always used to sit in
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] if Vicki was out or er at the side of Vicki when Vick when we had these she was ages before she'd... go and sit in a chair on her own
[Frederick:] Really?
[Joan:] she'd sit on Vicki's knee but she wouldn't sit
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] in the [dog yelping] on the chair. [dog barking] Looks like slumber come back....
[Heidi:] Hello
[Joan:] Hello my love.... In time for dinner
[Heidi:] [playing with dog]
[Joan:] Who's brought you home then?
[Heidi:] Charlotte's mummy, she's brought us all home.
[Joan:] Oh that was very nice of her
[Heidi:] But it was a bit of a pack in the car
[Frederick:] Well I've brought, brought my slippers and er with all
[Heidi:] Hello
[Frederick:] hello, with all the erm hilarity
[Joan:] Oh that's alright, your shoes are clean, you don't have to
[Heidi:] Mine are
[Frederick:] No, no, no but er
[Heidi:] we went to the park...
[Joan:] Oh right, have you heard this?
[Frederick:] Got, got to bed at three did you say?
[Heidi:] No we were in bed [LAUGHTER] but we, we, we [] go into a right about eight o'clock and we watched a video
[Joan:] Yes, and what was the video?
[Heidi:] Erm [LAUGHTER] I won't [LAUGHTER] tell you [].
[Joan:] Yes, come along!
[Heidi:] I'm coming back to that, and then we watched, no then the pizza man came and we had all our pizzas and cake, then we were just talking till three A M. Then we decided to go to sleep... then watched
[Joan:] So you were all in one room?
[Heidi:] we watched a video... and then
[Joan:] ?
[Heidi:] the see-saw,
[Frederick:] What were the boys like?
[Heidi:] There weren't any, they didn't come. They weren't coming in the end. Mummy
[Joan:] Yeah?
[Heidi:] No drugs, no three lettered words and no... oh yeah there was alcohol [LAUGHTER]. No there was some non-alcoholic wine. Erm
[Vicki:] Non-alcoholic wine?
[Frederick:] Was it was it worth going then with the boys not being there?
[Heidi:] Yeah, you don't need boys to have a good time. Where's the nail file in here?
[Joan:] At the moment.
[Heidi:] Yeah well see three three out of the six all fancied the same person...
[Joan:] Not your Andrew?
[Heidi:] No Stuart.
[Vicki:] What was the video?
[Heidi:] We watched Arachnophobia this morning, the spiders, [LAUGHTER] oh it was [] I didn't think, it wasn't that scary apart from two places
[Vicki:] Well what age limit?
[Heidi:] That's a P G.
[Vicki:] Oh and what was the
[Heidi:] [LAUGHTER]
[Vicki:] other one that you watched?
[Heidi:] [LAUGHTER]
[Vicki:] Ah!
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joan:] Well she won't tell me about the other one.
[Heidi:] It was an English Chippendales [LAUGHTER] and gorgeous []!
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Heidi:] They were British. Don't worry they, they didn't get anything... [LAUGHTER] we were a bit disappointed []
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joan:] What were they called?
[Frederick:] Oh I've I've hea yeah
[Joan:] I've heard of those they're supposed to be very very good.
[Heidi:] They're brilliant they're really dancers
[Frederick:] Yes now where have I heard about those?
[Heidi:] and their dance routine
[Joan:] That's it they're a da and they smile.
[Heidi:] gorgeous. Yeah
[Frederick:] Oh is it?
[Joan:] The Chippendales don't smile.
[Heidi:] The Chippendales don't smile.
[Frederick:] Oh that that did you watch That's Life last night?
[Joan:] And have The Chippendales gone down in your estimation then?
[Heidi:] No they're still gorgeous.
[Frederick:] No they they were er there was a group on there
[Joan:] No somewhere was doing a rating on erm yeah The Chippendales and then two or three English groups
[Heidi:] There's a there's one from, from Nottingham there's a group from Nottingham.
[Joan:] and er it said that so many of them didn't smile but this
[Heidi:] This, and they had dance routines and it's really good.
[Joan:] whatever well the dance routine and they smiled and looked as though they were enjoying it.
[Heidi:] you know how they strip, they have... they undo the top half but then they s they erm have velcro down the seams so they pull the rest off, and then they slip the T-shirt sort of
[Vicki:] Well what have they got underneath?
[Heidi:] Then they go down to boxer shorts and then they come off and
[Vicki:] What's under the boxer shorts?
[Heidi:] [LAUGHTER] Not a lot [].
[Frederick:] Well you should've been w yo yo you m you missed a lot last night, you should have been watching erm tt That's Life, think it was That's Life, where they had they had them on
[Joan:] Oh well Morse was on at the same time.
[Frederick:] Oh that's right, that's why they've done it isn't it? There we are dear.
[speaker005:] Oh thank you very much!
[Joan:] Yes to compete with erm yeah.
[Frederick:] Er you're a Morse fan are you?
[Joan:] Yeah.
[Heidi:] Well I like these.
[Vicki:] Ooh, oh the Black Magic!
[Joan:] Oh they've it off the Sunday because it was competing with something on the Sunday, what's the other side Sunday? Oh Buds
[speaker005:] Poirot
[Joan:] No Buds of May, The Darling Buds of May.
[Frederick:] Ah.
[Joan:] They thought people would prefer
[Vicki:] Are they, them doodahs ready?
[Joan:] Yes I should think so.
[Heidi:] No you needn't bother.
[Vicki:] They look as though they need clean dishes.
[Joan:] You see wh when she went her father said
[Heidi:] Me?
[Joan:] to her that if she watched any
[Vicki:] dishes
[Heidi:] Eighteen.
[Joan:] eighteen videos she'd be grounded.
[Heidi:] Don't tell him about it, I'll get killed.
[Joan:] Well was that an eighteen?
[Heidi:] Well it's [shouting] not exactly gonna be a U is it []? With them all stripping.
[Frederick:] No I wouldn't have thought it I wouldn't have thought it would have been
[Heidi:] I know
[Joan:] But I wouldn't have thought, I mean it
[Heidi:] I don't know if it was
[Frederick:] No, no
[Heidi:] Chippendales is an eighteen.... Chippendales
[Joan:] No a lot of, yeah mm.
[Heidi:] S E X and
[Joan:] So you're alright... and V I O and
[Heidi:] and V I A?
[Joan:] Violence....
[Heidi:] You should see Tango and Cash, that's not violent
[Joan:] No.
[Heidi:] it is cute Kurt [shouting] Kurt Russell is gorgeous []. I've gotta get Next of Kin out, I've gotta get out for you to see Kurt Russell.
[Joan:] I don't wanna see Kurt Russell.
[Heidi:] I broke my nail I was biting it last night.
[Vicki:] Why, did you forget your ribbon?
[Heidi:] No I was biting this one.
[Joan:] So it's that one that needs filing?
[Heidi:] They both need filing. And erm... these, they had these different routines, they had one when they were swimming and this one was in the shower, couldn't actually see what he was doing, and they had
[Vicki:] Well suppose he was having a shower was he?
[Heidi:] Then there's one
[Joan:] Jenny came for you
[Heidi:] I know.
[Joan:] and I said oh she, she said that you'd phoned and you wouldn't be able to come and collect her.
[Heidi:] No Sam phoned
[Joan:] Oh.
[Heidi:] to say that we couldn't go all er go er tt all go to her house and I was just about to ask Sam if Jenny knew... and she put the phone down and she hadn't told Jenny.
[Joan:] Hmm.
[Vicki:] Right, everybody in the erm... dining room then.
[Heidi:] Right and they had this bit they're in these white sailor's uniform and they're stripping the gloves off which was really uninteresting but they all looked really, you know, smart and they were saluting. Gorgeous. One was called he's like... erm he's coloured
[Vicki:] Well think, if you concentrated on that a bit more instead of just doing it any... where in the air you might get on a bit quicker.
[Joan:] Might.... On the other hand
[Heidi:] And then what other one, there's that bad boys, they're in jail and the erm jail attendant
[speaker005:] [cough]
[Heidi:] man was like stripping, they had... what have you done?
[Joan:] Well I'm just putting them on clean dishes because I think these dishes
[Heidi:] What?
[Vicki:] so you've got your hot doodah all over the top.
[Joan:] Can't have them in mucky dishes.
[Heidi:] [shouting] Lucy darling you missed me [].
[Joan:] No she hasn't missed you. Like a dose of salts.
[Heidi:] Oh it was a right laugh we... we were all in a sleeping bag and there's three of us lying that way then one lying here one on the sofa and one lying there... it was a bit mad!
[Joan:] Er
[Heidi:] Just a bit.
[Frederick:] There?
[Joan:] just there please.
[Frederick:] Yep.
[Joan:] What are you having Heidi?
[Heidi:] Er pass. I'll file my nails.... [shouting] I'll have a drink though [] [whispering] sherry [] [shouting] Mum can I have a sherry please []? I've been completely teetotal this weekend, thank you.... Charlotte was drinking sherry, don't suppose, shouldn't tell you that but she only had one little drop... and I was
[Frederick:] You were driving were you?
[Heidi:] Yeah. Which is the sweet, pale cream?
[Joan:] Her father's daughter.
[Heidi:] Not medium dry. Medium dry, pale... pale. Any Baileys in there
[Joan:] You're, you're not having Baileys
[Heidi:] I've had a christmas without Baileys.
[Joan:] That's because [LAUGHTER] I didn't buy any [].
[Heidi:] Exactly! I'll get you for that. We had piz we had, me and Sarah shared a Mexican one and it was hot.
[Joan:] Well I wasn't around at christmas was I?
[Heidi:] And they put these chilies in my garlic bread, the peppers rather, but I ate all my peppers, and Charlotte couldn't eat theirs.
[Joan:] Are you coming Vicki?
[Vicki:] Yes yes yes.
[Heidi:] [singing] Rocking rolling [] I'm a bit hyper at the moment. Need to listen to the charts.
[Joan:] You're a bit what?
[Heidi:] Hyperactive.... I was the odd
[Joan:] At the moment?
[Heidi:] I was the odd one out you see because everybody else had curly hair. I thought wait till Tuesday.
[Joan:] Wait till Tuesday!
[Heidi:] Am I, am I definitely doing it?
[Joan:] Well the appointment's made.
[Heidi:] Okay.
[Joan:] Would you like to say grace Fred for us please?
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Heidi:] What?
[Frederick:] [praying] For friend food and fellowship we give you thanks oh lord... amen [].
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] [praying] Amen [].
[Vicki:] How comes Heidi's having a sherry and nobody else is?
[Joan:] Oh I think she asked you Vicki.
[Heidi:] I asked you. Would you like a sherry mother
[Vicki:] Ah well we've got sherry in we've got sherry in the grapefruit.
[Heidi:] Would anybody else like a drink?
[Frederick:] No no no no no....
[Heidi:] So what is this grapefruit?
[Joan:] It's it's booked for Monday at four o'clock if you want it.
[Heidi:] I want it. What time are you
[Joan:] If you don't want it I will have to... cancel it tomorrow.
[Heidi:] Yes I do want it.
[Joan:] after school.
[Frederick:] Joan while I remember... in my car I've got some things that I want your professional advice about.
[Joan:] [LAUGHTER] Sorry []
[Frederick:] It's a cushion actually which is coming adrift and I d I don't know whether it's
[speaker005:] [cough] Excuse me
[Joan:] As long as it's not to make a rabbit's costume.
[Frederick:] Oh no no no [LAUGHTER]
[Heidi:] Are you gonna make that for Chris?
[Joan:] [LAUGHTER] No I'm not [].
[Heidi:] Aren't you gonna make it?
[Joan:] No.
[Frederick:] Have I dreamt this... or has Natasha moved from where she was originally?
[Joan:] She's moved.
[Frederick:] Oh. I couldn't, I couldn't erm...
[Joan:] Well as usual we couldn't remember the last time you came, I was trying to think the last time...
[Frederick:] I can't remember either.
[Joan:] She moved at the end of
[Heidi:] need is to keep a diary and just put dates when who comes
[Joan:] November
[Heidi:] where for what.
[Joan:] over to Langley Mill.
[Frederick:] Oh no she definitely hadn't moved then er when I was last here I mean....
[Vicki:] Well it was December wasn't it?
[Joan:] It was the last Saturday
[Frederick:] I should think it
[Joan:] twenty ninth of November.
[Vicki:] Oh I thought it was the beginning of December....
[Joan:] Twenty ninth of November.
[Heidi:] It was from the first of December for the address although they were actually
[speaker005:] Mm.
[Heidi:] My birthday in three days' time.... Gonna be dead boring.
[Frederick:] Is that fifteen?...
[Vicki:] [sigh] Dead boring.
[Heidi:] Er I think I'll open my presents when for the Chinese.
[Vicki:] What presents?
[Joan:] [LAUGHTER] You have yours all the year round so []
[Vicki:] Is Dave coming now?
[Heidi:] I've been really good this year, I haven't had any anything really except my Christmas present I had early from mummy and daddy... and from nana.
[Vicki:] Had a jumper.
[Heidi:] I know Charlotte likes this.
[Vicki:] Mm likes it as well....
[Heidi:] I like it.
[Joan:] [LAUGHTER]... Mm.
[Vicki:] Just had a bath.
[Heidi:] You always have a bath when you...
[Vicki:] So did you tell Charlotte where she could er purchase one?
[Heidi:] Yeah she said that she liked, she liked those big polo necked ones.... You know?
[Vicki:] Oh that I thought were very
[Heidi:] Yeah
[Vicki:] Mm....
[Heidi:] And she, she got a black and white one.
[Vicki:] From there?
[Heidi:] I don't know, I don't think it's from there but it was similar to, similar... Jenny, and Sam had a like ribbed one with a big neck which was fawn coloured and Jenny had like an arran.
[Vicki:] Oh so it's a good job you got that one.
[Joan:] Is that the one from Spain?
[Vicki:] Mm. Trading.... good place to go you see Heidi.... Good job you had yours on then. Isn't it?
[Heidi:] Mhm.... Oh
[Joan:] See at the moment Fred it's not what the clothes look like, it's
[Vicki:] It's the name.
[Joan:] it's where they come from.
[Heidi:] No it's not. We had a good chat last night.
[Vicki:] You've got to have the right
[Frederick:] It's like these trainers isn't it?
[Vicki:] Mm yeah.
[Joan:] inside inside well back to front?
[Vicki:] Paying for the name.
[Heidi:] Does it look like it?
[Joan:] Well yes it does
[Vicki:] Now
[Joan:] otherwise I wouldn't have
[Vicki:] how long... have you been on the name game, a year?
[Heidi:] The name game?
[Vicki:] Where it had to be the right name.
[Joan:] Oh at least a year.
[Vicki:] But some start at
[Heidi:] About three.
[Vicki:] five
[Heidi:] Oh Benetton
[Vicki:] Benetton?
[Heidi:] it's gotta be Benetton stuff.
[Vicki:] some start at yeah three, five and you know I've spoken to mums oh I bought this coat and she wouldn't wear it.
[Frederick:] [cough] It's ridiculous.
[Vicki:] Mm. they'll only have trainers if they're this make and I mean, alright I can appreciate when you get into your teens and whatever, but at that age
[Frederick:] [cough]
[Joan:] Natasha goes round the er charity
[Frederick:] [cough]
[Heidi:] Well Tasha's married.
[Joan:] Before she was married and when she was at school she was quite happy... to go and find something
[Heidi:] Well let her be if she's happy. I'm happy
[Vicki:] That's a minor detail isn't it?
[Joan:] Well finish doing your nails at the table then.
[Vicki:] No! Tell her not to do her nails at the table.
[Joan:] I said finish doing them.
[Vicki:] At the table....
[Frederick:] No [cough]
[Vicki:] You said finish doing your nails at the table.
[Joan:] Finish at the table doing your nails.
[Vicki:] Oh right.
[Joan:] I will rephrase that, [LAUGHTER] you knew jolly well what I meant [].
[Frederick:] [cough]...
[Heidi:] [sigh]... [shouting] Oh we watched In Bed with Madonna as well mum []...
[Frederick:] How many were there? [cough]...
[Heidi:] Five and then Charlotte whose house it was we were invading.... But well it was cosy.
[Joan:] Just move this... to here... if I put that on a mat because it's cold
[Heidi:] Well how many, we've got?
[Joan:] Beg pardon?
[Heidi:] Have we just got that and the... that?...
[Joan:] Have we just got?
[Heidi:] That and the
[Joan:] ...
[Frederick:] So it's the fourth year now is it?
[Heidi:] Mm.... Hard work... don't do anything. No you do actually. Still got all the homework to do, well my German, my cooking... nothing else. The only good thing I like about the fourth year, you're doing the subjects you want to do... but apart from that
[Frederick:] So what have you dropped?
[Heidi:] French erm... French, history, R E...
[Frederick:] Those have you... th those are what you've dropped you say?
[Heidi:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Heidi:] Physics and then... all the creative art except cooking. So... But I like what I'm taking [LAUGHTER] I think it's quite a good choice.
[Frederick:] What, what was that that you said you liked?...
[Heidi:] My favourite thing I like, my favourite subject's chemistry. Think that is brilliant.... Hard but my tea
[Frederick:] That's what my son teaches you know?
[Heidi:] Mm. My teacher thinks I should get an A or a B in it.... Erm hope so because if I don't go in the police force I wouldn't mind being a
[Vicki:] Would you like to do that one Heidi?
[Heidi:] Okay then.
[Vicki:] Please....
[Heidi:] We watched In Bed With Madonna as well. But we didn't watch it we just saw a couple of bits. Who do I do first?
[Vicki:] I should do Fred first.
[Heidi:] Right....
[Vicki:] Well because I bought that one.
[Frederick:] Thank you.
[Heidi:] This the same as... the other one we had?
[Vicki:] Similar, it's got, it has got in it and... and it's all gonna fall to pieces.
[Heidi:] Well once you've got the first, give me the first one which didn't come out and then it's easy.
[Joan:] I'm quite right there thank you very much. It's also got some... vegetables in it.
[Heidi:] I'll leave yours cos so you don't knock it over.... Where's the?
[Vicki:] Bread is just a coming.... How much do you want? Are you hungry?
[Heidi:] Yes.
[Vicki:] What did you eat last night, pizza?
[Heidi:] We had I had half a big
[Vicki:] Are you hungry?
[Heidi:] pizza. But then we'd just eaten Mars Bars with... everything else.
[Vicki:] You'd just eaten
[Heidi:] We had pizza and garlic bread
[Vicki:] good old junk food.
[Heidi:] then we had, we had some crisps and some Mars Bars
[Vicki:] And that sort of thing. So how many of the
[Heidi:] ... Lucy do you mind, you can get down
[Vicki:] And er did the parents go out?
[Heidi:] Yeah they came back in about ten cos the pizza, we was eating our pizza
[Vicki:] You'd eaten your pizza by then?
[Heidi:] Yeah the pizza came at nine.
[Vicki:] You didn't have the Pizza Hut from Gordon Road?
[Heidi:] No Pizzarama,
[Vicki:] Oh didn't know there was one there [dog barks]
[Heidi:] We were gonna get some other videos out but there weren't
[Frederick:] Is there a Pizza Hut in then?
[Heidi:] Yeah.
[Vicki:] Yeah on The Avenue, erm well down the
[Frederick:] What, one where you can go in or just for take away?
[Heidi:] Both.
[Frederick:] Oh.
[Heidi:] And the erm, there's one a bit further which is
[Vicki:] Pizza Pantry we
[Heidi:] Pizza Pantry but that isn't a home delivery.
[Vicki:] we prefer Pizza Pantry.
[Frederick:] Thank you.
[Vicki:] Pizza Pantry it's take away, you go in and order it and... take away, help yourself to salad and...
[Frederick:] Thank you.
[Vicki:] bread.
[Joan:] No Luce, down.
[Vicki:] And then Pizza Hut... they deliver don't they?
[Heidi:] Yeah.
[Vicki:] They come round on the little
[Heidi:] Pizzarama, they've got cars. It was quite nice
[Vicki:] There's a pizza place on er housing estate.
[Heidi:] Pizzarama.
[Vicki:] P it's called Pizzarama.
[Heidi:] Pizzarama. We had Mexican
[Joan:] What is it that comes round on
[Vicki:] Pizza Hut
[Joan:] motor, mm...
[Frederick:] Thank you.
[Vicki:] Is that enough for you?
[Joan:] Oh plenty thank you. I was er sitting watching you doling it out and suddenly realized it was mine.
[Heidi:] Mhm. Mhm
[Vicki:] What's the matter?...
[Heidi:] Oh that Arachnophobia ah
[Vicki:] What did you say that was, spiders?
[Heidi:] and it's been drained of blood, it's all wrinkly and
[Vicki:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] ...
[Heidi:] They're killers, urgh....
[Vicki:] Good job you saw it this morning and not last night then is it?
[Heidi:] Mm. And er we got... everybody got really scared at one point
[Joan:] Do you want some tomato dear?
[Heidi:] no thanks, cos we were talking about a certain subject and erm we go right
[Frederick:] Now I've made a mess on your the these need wiping because I've got butter on my fingers.
[Vicki:] Oh not to worry. I'll
[Joan:] Yes cos some of the butter is soft and
[Vicki:] Some is hard.
[Joan:] some hard....
[Heidi:] This is nice....
[Joan:] Did you have breakfast this morning?
[Vicki:] They just had Mars Bars and... biscuits and... bits and pieces and... Haven't you?... Good old
[Joan:] Cheers Fred.
[Vicki:] good old teenage er
[Joan:] Cheers Heidi.
[Heidi:] Mhm.
[Joan:] Excuse me reaching over.
[Vicki:] Cheers.
[Heidi:] Nanny hasn't got her glasses on.
[Vicki:] Oh
[Frederick:] So where do you originate from? What part of the country?
[Joan:] Nottingham.
[Frederick:] Do you really?
[Joan:] Yes.
[Frederick:] I didn't know that....
[Joan:] Born in Nottingham.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Heidi:] Were you born up here mum?
[Vicki:] Mhm.
[Heidi:] And then moved down there?
[Vicki:] Mhm.
[Frederick:] And where w... where were you living before you came here?...
[Joan:] Northampton....
[Heidi:] There you go mother....
[Frederick:] Oh that's why I thought yo yo
[Joan:] Malton erm
[Frederick:] Mm
[Joan:] small village, it was a small village when we went. You could quite easily walk in the middle of the road with prams and then erm... you were safe.
[Frederick:] Yeah....
[Vicki:] There were a lot of places like that....
[Frederick:] So you were brought up in Nottingham were you?
[Vicki:] Not really. Born in Nottingham
[Frederick:] Oh, born in Nottingham.
[Vicki:] but not really brought up.
[Joan:] Brought up no. We moved to erm... Malton when Vicki was six months old....
[Vicki:] So it's ironic that we've come backwards.
[Heidi:] So were you born here... moved to Malton, moved back here and then moved to Malton or you were here and they you moved to Malton when she lived there?
[Joan:] No I was in Nottingham and moved to Cambridge
[Heidi:] I know you lived Cambridge but I mean did you, was M was Malton
[Joan:] that's where Terence was born...
[Heidi:] was the first time you went to Malton when she was born?
[Joan:] Yes.
[Vicki:] And stayed there....
[Heidi:] And then you got hip... and toddled off up there.
[Vicki:] I went to Wellingborough
[Heidi:] That's it.
[Vicki:] went to Yorkshire That's right, then went back to Malton
[Heidi:] Then came here.
[Vicki:] and then came here.
[Frederick:] And where did erm... Malcolm originate?
[Vicki:] Born in Bristol
[Heidi:] Bred in Birmingham.
[Vicki:] but spent a lot of time in Birmingham.... Heidi was born in... Northampton, Geoff was born in Wiltshire.
[Heidi:] Where would you say I was bred? Here?...
[Vicki:] Mm....
[Joan:] Well you spent your first four years in Malton....
[Vicki:] Your formative years.
[Joan:] [LAUGHTER]
[Heidi:] ...
[Vicki:] And then they all went down the drain when you came to Nottingham.
[Heidi:] Ha! Well you moved here....
[Vicki:] And Tasha would like to move back to Yorkshire.
[Heidi:] Get your feet off me!
[Joan:] reason really because
[Vicki:] Well she says she likes it up there....
[Joan:] She hasn't spent... so much time up there since she's been three.
[Vicki:] Mm because....
[Heidi:] I like Geordie accents....
[Vicki:] Mm I hear Kate 's engaged... to a Welshman....
[Frederick:] Kate?
[Vicki:] ...
[Frederick:] Do I know Kate?
[Vicki:] Erm... yes you probably do.
[Frederick:] Is this somebody from church?
[Vicki:] Yeah. You know Elizabeth and Graham? I think her mum's Elizabeth isn't it? Had that erm...
[Joan:] Trouble with her knee.
[Vicki:] all that trouble with her knee... and now walks with a... mind you she goes to ten thirty more than
[Joan:] Mm....
[Vicki:] I do erm she probably
[Frederick:] I'm sure I'll
[Vicki:] Yes
[Frederick:] I'm sure I'll know her by sight.
[Vicki:] yes you would. And she's, what, the same age as Lyndsey? Would she probably be the same age as Lyndsey?
[Heidi:] Yeah....
[Joan:] Doing erm... training for a physiotherapist isn't she?
[Vicki:] That's right.
[Heidi:] You do a good meal mum.
[Vicki:] Mm?
[Frederick:] Where do they live?...
[Vicki:] Well they used to live... erm
[Heidi:] I haven't got anything for you
[Vicki:] mm St Austells or in that area
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Vicki:] then they moved down to the house opposite the green in front of the church which I think the now live in... next to the, Janet and Peter, that house... and then they moved up to a bungalow.
[Frederick:] Oh I know them, yeah. She and she's... yes she, she's hurt her... her knee hasn't she?
[Vicki:] Mm. Mm.
[Frederick:] Playing badminton. Ah. Now
[Vicki:] That's right.
[Frederick:] now start again and tell me... Kate
[Vicki:] Their daughter... got engaged I think christmas time
[Frederick:] Oh.
[Vicki:] to some, a Welshman...
[Frederick:] Yes I'm now completely with you.
[Vicki:] Good.
[Heidi:] Excuse me mum, please may I have some more?
[Vicki:] Mhm. Would you like to help yourself love?...
[Joan:] Ooh thought you were talking to me... she's talking to you. She's talking to you Luce.
[Heidi:] How's the box going?
[Vicki:] Which box?
[Heidi:] The new one.
[Vicki:] Oh that one....
[Heidi:] I like it when you put the subtitles up.
[Vicki:] Well don't go and mess it up.
[Heidi:] in Baywatch you don't understand what they're saying when you read it.
[Joan:] We had a new television yesterday Fred, that's what she's talking about.
[Frederick:] What you did?
[Joan:] Mm....
[Heidi:] She gave Tash and John her old one. Not me.
[Vicki:] Well you don't need it. Mm.
[Joan:] Well they don't know whether it will be any good to them.
[Heidi:] They've got two.
[Vicki:] ...
[Heidi:] Got a better telly than we have.
[Vicki:] I think John wanted it to sort of have a fiddle...
[Joan:] It was gonna cost me a hundred and eighty pounds to have it repaired... so I thought I might as well
[Heidi:] Suit yourself.
[Joan:] pay the extra and have a new television set.
[Frederick:] Yeah well I think er if er... if you had, how long have you had it?...
[Vicki:] Eight? Ten years?
[Joan:] Eight years at least.
[Frederick:] Well yeah.
[Vicki:] See something else is going to go isn't it? And...
[Heidi:] I think you made a good choice of boxes, it's a bit small but...
[Joan:] It isn't really.
[Heidi:] Only it's only cos it hasn't got the extra
[Joan:] The viewing area
[Heidi:] round the side, yeah, I know.
[Joan:] isn't
[Heidi:] It's just cos you haven't got the extra round the, round the side, but it just looks small.
[Joan:] You have the controls...
[Heidi:] Underneath.
[Joan:] underneath which aren't really so easy to see
[Heidi:] But you didn't have any controls on yours anyway.
[Vicki:] Down the side didn't you?
[Joan:] I had them down the side.
[Heidi:] Did you?
[Joan:] Mm but they were hidden in a box.
[Heidi:] Mm.
[Frederick:] Have you got erm a zapper?
[Joan:] Oh I had with the other, I wouldn't go back to
[Frederick:] No.
[Joan:] having to get
[Vicki:] But we did persuade her to have teletext.
[Frederick:] Good I'm very pleased.
[Vicki:] But she's got erm, you haven't got teletext have you, what have you got
[Heidi:] viewing.
[Vicki:] Fastext?
[Frederick:] Yeah that's even better isn't it?
[Joan:] [LAUGHTER] It might be when I get used to it [].
[Heidi:] Just press... text and the number
[Vicki:] Just press the yes just press the colour and... hey presto!
[Heidi:] Yep.
[Frederick:] So she'll be looking at three
[Vicki:] So
[Frederick:] so she'll be looking at three five two and then contacting you and saying look I'm now
[Vicki:] Is that the holiday?
[Frederick:] I'm, I'm going off tomorrow to Madeira.
[Vicki:] Three five two. [LAUGHTER] Do you want some more bread Heidi cos there's some more in the... some more bread for you Fred? Cos there is some more.
[Frederick:] Just that bit'll do me.
[Vicki:] I was gonna say there's some more
[Frederick:] You get erm
[Vicki:] Do you want some more Heidi?
[Heidi:] No thanks. Did Muriel persuade you?
[Joan:] Well she didn't persuade me but she said she thought it was a very good idea because it was... on all the new sets and while I was buying a new set I might as well
[Vicki:] Buy the latest new set.
[Frederick:] I er I think erm... it's silly not to have it er when you're going in for a new set.
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Heidi:] Yeah.
[Joan:] I really didn't erm...
[Vicki:] You really didn't want it did you?
[Joan:] No I, I just wondered what use it would be to me....
[Vicki:] It's as good as watching a video watching your holiday programmes and everything else.
[Frederick:] There's all sorts, weather forecast er news items
[Joan:] Ooh hmm... I I didn't get it quite right last night cos I thought I'd hear the news and I... I could, I got the news on
[Vicki:] What on teletext?
[Joan:] Yes, but there's somebody talking out of the film
[Heidi:] Well you had your telly on didn't you?
[Frederick:] Yes, yes well you've got to pu
[Vicki:] You've got your superimpose on.
[Frederick:] you've got to put your mute on....
[Joan:] Oh.
[Frederick:] You know?... Any time. I mean if you just want the teletext all you do is press your mute and then you'll just have your teletext without the sound. But, well you can also
[Joan:] But y I know you can
[Frederick:] mix it can't you?
[Joan:] Yes I, I know that bit I didn't know you had to do something to stop the...
[Frederick:] Mm yes just
[Joan:] programme coming through.
[Frederick:] yes well it's only just like you do if you've not got erm teletext and you just wanted to see the picture.
[Joan:] Oh well we'll have a go today on there.
[Heidi:] I just press the buttons and see what happens.
[Joan:] I know you do.
[Vicki:] Well you'd left something on hadn't you? I went in and there's Heidi oh well I've just got all the script coming up on the screen and I've just got so and so for you and I
[Heidi:] Hadn't even read the book either but I've fiddled with Natasha's.
[Joan:] I just fiddled with the controls till
[Frederick:] The thing that you you have to remember, which you tend not to at the beginning... [cough] is that Ceefax is B B C for instance, so on one and two [sigh] now if you change channel... if you're on teletext and you want to go onto Oracle which is on three
[Joan:] Three.
[Frederick:] you've got to go back to T V
[Joan:] To change.
[Frederick:] to get to three and then back on to teletext
[Joan:] Oh.
[Frederick:] you can't go direct. And that's er something that you tend to forget er initially, even, I mean I still sometimes still do.
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Joan:] I was reading my instructions though and it said before you start pressing knobs
[Heidi:] Mm.
[Vicki:] Please read the instructions.
[Joan:] read it because you can do a lot of damage pressing the wrong things.
[Heidi:] Mm.
[Vicki:] Mm. And did it also say in big capital letters please do not y let your granddaughter fiddle around with it?
[Joan:] No.
[Vicki:] Oh....
[Joan:] But on, on my other remote control if I wanted to alter the sound or the colour, that was on the erm... remote control and it's just a little
[Heidi:] It's a good little picture.
[Vicki:] It's a good picture. Very clear.
[Joan:] But sometimes... like in the Proms, I had to keep lowering the sound
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Joan:] too loud.
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Joan:] Well I want to be able to do that easily.
[Heidi:] You can
[Vicki:] You can you just press
[Frederick:] Well you will be able to, there's no doubt about it.
[Joan:] Yes I'll have to erm
[Heidi:] You've got it on volume.
[Joan:] sort it out.
[Heidi:] You don't nee you just keep it on volume
[Frederick:] Did erm
[Heidi:] go boom and you've got little arrows to show you how
[Frederick:] did somebody come and set it up or did
[Joan:] Well John set it up for me.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Vicki:] Well we'd just unpacked it and we're just looking at it and mummy said... oh where's John? Could do with him.
[Joan:] He walked in.
[Vicki:] And about two minutes later he knocked on the door didn't he?
[Joan:] Mm.
[Vicki:] Oh come on I'll do it for you, well you've gotta press so and so, here you are I'll do it. So
[Heidi:] Know it all.
[Vicki:] tuned it in to the four... channels and I said what about video
[Heidi:] How many channels you got?
[Vicki:] tt... I said well you might as well tune in to that as well hmm
[Heidi:] How many cha cha channels have you got?
[Joan:] I can have thirty
[Vicki:] Thirty.
[Joan:] two... is it thirty or thirty two channels on it?
[Vicki:] Thirty I think because it started at thirty when we pressed and went down
[Joan:] mm
[Vicki:] looking at the channels, I think that was only thirty channels.
[Frederick:] What make have you got?
[Heidi:] Mits
[Frederick:] Mitsibushi?
[Vicki:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] That's mine, I've got a video... my Mitsibushi is.
[Vicki:] What, video?
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Vicki:] Ah now you could do with Fred's... Mitsibushi... video couldn't you?
[Joan:] Yes because on the remote control it's for a video as well you see
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Joan:] but it doesn't work my video.
[Heidi:] You know if you have the telly on number eight... so you were on the video channel?
[Vicki:] Mm?
[Heidi:] Do you use your video remote control?
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Heidi:] That's okay then, I won't muck it up.
[Frederick:] Yes you can.
[Vicki:] But you can't use the video controls on the television panel
[Joan:] Not the video, you mustn't use the video bit
[Vicki:] on the television
[Joan:] television on my video.
[Heidi:] No but you're on the video channel.
[Joan:] No you must use the video remote control that goes with the video.
[Heidi:] That's what I mean.
[Vicki:] Yeah, yeah.
[Heidi:] If you're on the video channel and you want to change the channel
[Vicki:] When Nana's got her Mitsibushi video then you can use it all on one.
[Heidi:] Then you use your video remote control, oh
[Joan:] You've got to have the two
[Heidi:] Yeah.
[Joan:] you must have the two separate ones. I don't want you messing it up.
[Heidi:] Yes, yes yes, yes! I know, I know, I know.
[Joan:] Can't afford another one.
[Heidi:] No then I'll have that one.
[Joan:] Do you know what she said Fred
[Heidi:] What? What did I say?
[Joan:] when I was wondering... about having teletext or not?
[Heidi:] Mm.
[Joan:] Have a teletext then when you die you can leave it to me and I
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Heidi:] Then I'll get one with Nicam.
[Frederick:] That's lovely.
[Heidi:] I didn't say when.... You mean I'll have to wait a very long time.... And I'd like a Nicam digital stereo.... That's what we're gonna have on our new telly.
[Frederick:] Yeah but but er we can't receive stereo here yet can we?
[Heidi:] If the programme's stereo... I think and you've got a stereo telly.
[Frederick:] Oh I, I thought we weren't on it yet....
[Heidi:] Well by the time we get [LAUGHTER] round to getting a new telly [].... We're not g gonna get one within the next few years. [cough] Or...
[Joan:] Oh I'll take that and that...
[Frederick:] Now I've noticed... Er y y what time did you get to bed... last night? Three o'clock did you say?
[Heidi:] Well
[Frederick:] Oh no you were u er... you went earlier but... got to sleep about then.
[Heidi:] We were talking till about three and... then there was three of us who stayed awake longer,... Then som the alarm went off at six thirty cos someone had a newspaper round.
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER] Oh dear [].
[Heidi:] And then I was dozing a bit... and while we were watching like Arachnophobia we were... we were still in bed but... about... four hours sleep just about.... It was worth it, good fun.......
[Joan:] Taking it or not?
[Vicki:] Go on then....
[Heidi:] Tt oranges, kiwi, pineapple, apple, apple and pears and they've got
[Frederick:] And what's this then?
[Heidi:] The toffee...
[Frederick:] [cough]
[Heidi:] It's toffees in a... melted toffee. I want a spear.
[Joan:] In a crunchy new Yes we're getting
[Heidi:] That's alright then. Erm... it's gone this time.
[Joan:] Which drawer are they in Vicki?
[Vicki:] Bottom. right hand side.
[Heidi:] On the right hand side.... Cocktail sticks.... Danke bitte....
[Frederick:] Thank you.
[Heidi:] Really want a teaspoon, these are dessert spoons. Too big.
[Joan:] Oh I gave you a small spoon....
[Heidi:] It's fallen off my stick!
[Joan:] Has it set hard?...
[Heidi:] It's hard there, nice and hard.
[Joan:] Harder than we've had?... Mm. Well I'll get some teaspoons....
[Heidi:] It's not hard, it's just that it fell off my stick.... Which wasn't very helpful.
[Vicki:] It fell of your stick?
[Heidi:] Yeah.
[Vicki:] Oh de oh I need a tissue.
[Heidi:] The oranges don't fall off....
[Joan:] Here you are then, have a teaspoon with this.
[Heidi:] I want the teaspoon so I can eat it when I've finished my fruit....
[Vicki:] I said we're having a... a [LAUGHTER] health giving lunch today [].
[Heidi:] Healthy? Toffee? I don't think so....
[Vicki:] Did Fay take a quilt?
[Joan:] Oh it has set hard.
[Vicki:] Has it set today?
[Joan:] Yes
[Heidi:] You thinned it down though last time didn't you?
[Vicki:] I thinned it down this time.
[Heidi:] Did you, what with?... I've got a lump of toffee, yes! Gorgeous....
[Vicki:] And I didn't put it in the fridge so it wouldn't erm
[Heidi:] I've got, look at that it's bubbling.
[Joan:] Hubble bubble... Well you can't erm... swish your fruit round in it.
[Vicki:] It doesn't s mm
[Heidi:] You can.... I had to give Fay a piggyback up to the park. Killed my back!...
[Vicki:] Which park? Mm. Are you having fun Fred with this?
[Heidi:] It's the spears don't work
[Frederick:] Mm
[Heidi:] they slide off the spears that's the problem.
[Vicki:] Well use your spoon then.
[Heidi:] It's boring using a spoon....
[Vicki:] Mm well you've done yours.
[Heidi:] Me?
[Vicki:] Tt nana's got a toffee coated grape....
[Heidi:] Are they seedless type?
[Joan:] No.
[Vicki:] Well say we like to have fun at our meal times....
[Heidi:] Oh I recorded those films didn't I?
[Joan:] Have, want some erm... to help you on your way.
[Heidi:] Mm I'll have to watch those....
[Vicki:] What will you have to watch?
[Heidi:] I recorded one, the one which was on Two which was... about... a lawyer falling in love with the accused. Erm... or was that the one on number two.
[Vicki:] Was that the one after Morse?
[Heidi:] No, that was on B B C Two but I ha only saw the beginning of that and then I turned over to watch the one
[Joan:] Mm Luce what do you want?
[Heidi:] It sounded quite good.......
[Vicki:] Oh!... We went to erm... tt
[Heidi:] Who did?
[Vicki:] We did. I was gonna say
[Heidi:] Did we?
[Vicki:] where we went. I was going to say
[Heidi:] Did nana go?
[Vicki:] Theatre Royal and it wasn't the Theatre Royal... Haymarket... the other Saturday didn't we?
[Joan:] easier with a spoon....
[Heidi:] Mhm.
[Joan:] We saw the Little Prince.
[Frederick:] Leicester Haymarket?
[Joan:] That's right.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Joan:] Which is a story I am not familiar with....
[Frederick:] [cough]
[Joan:] Well I've never...
[Vicki:] It was sort of like their pantomime
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Vicki:] but I wouldn't have said it was very appropriate for
[Heidi:] It couldn't have been their pantomime
[Vicki:] young children.
[Heidi:] because we
[Joan:] Well I shouldn't have thought young children would have und understood it.
[Vicki:] Mm. But it was quite good wasn't it?... Malcolm and Heidi went to London bef the Monday before christmas
[Heidi:] Yeah! No blinking Sam goes to me, cos we were, we were, we turned Arachnophobia off because people needed the toilet... and erm there was Songs of Praise or, you know, something like that and they were talking about all this terrorism, somebody said oh I'm glad you didn't go to London... said but I did and she goes oh no you didn't did you? worried about me going to London
[Vicki:] That was nice.
[Heidi:] I know.
[Vicki:] Because there weren't any tubes they had to walk along...
[Heidi:] Haymarket.
[Vicki:] wherever it was
[Heidi:] Haymarket.
[Vicki:] and erm pass the theatre with Phantom of the Opera showing so Malcolm just went in to see if there'd be any tickets for the afternoon performance on the off-chance and they were putting on an extra matinee performance so lo and behold those two went to see Phantom of the Opera.
[Heidi:] Hey hey hey hey!
[Frederick:] Oh good.
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Heidi:] It was brilliant, so good.
[Joan:] And then on the Saturday Tasha and John went to see it.
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Joan:] And it was and I who wanted to see it in the [LAUGHTER] first place [].
[Heidi:] Excuse me!... I didn't ever want to see Phantom of the Opera, no of course I haven't haven't
[Vicki:] Yes you have.
[Heidi:] really been interested in it, no.
[Frederick:] Who's starring in it now? [cough]
[Heidi:] He's good... erm
[Joan:] Peter somebody.
[Heidi:] Yeah. Nobody I know. Well... I don't know but I mean... not someone
[Vicki:] Not a well known
[Heidi:] famous famous. But he, he is really good.... I w I wanted to see Aspects of Love with Michael Caine in, I mean Michael Ball, but he's not in it any more.... Mm! There's a good erm
[Vicki:] Oh you've got rehearsal this afternoon.
[Heidi:] I know.... We saw a trailer for a film, it's Mr was it? And anyway it's this bas er ba baseball player and he doesn't hit the ball you see, which ma doesn't make him famous so he finds this person and he makes him go back and he does hit the ball and becomes really famous... and that special person's Michael Caine, it looked quite good.
[Vicki:] Michael Caine?
[Heidi:] You know Michael Caine? The
[Vicki:] Mm
[Heidi:] one who did Jekyll and all the Jekyll and Hyde... And what else he did
[Joan:] Did you watch it?
[Heidi:] Yeah. I didn't re I thought he actually made a person, I didn't realize he made himself into a person.
[Vicki:] It was himself that changed.
[Heidi:] I thought it was a bit stupid cos he was such a nice doctor and that....
[Vicki:] Mm....
[Heidi:] Who wrote that?
[Vicki:] Er Heidi's going to be Aladdin in er Wendy 's production.
[Heidi:] ... I've learnt my lines but I haven't really....
[Vicki:] That looks a bit long....
[Joan:] You twiddle it like you [LAUGHTER] do spaghetti [].
[Vicki:] She's hoping to sing her song from Aspects of Love aren't you?
[Heidi:] Well... I don't know about that.... Well I can't really sing it.
[Vicki:] Well you sing it well.
[Heidi:] That's a load of cock and bull.... I can't sing it.
[Vicki:] You can't?
[Frederick:] And wh and where's this, school or church or?
[Heidi:] St Pauls.
[Vicki:] St Pauls' drama group.
[Frederick:] Mhm....
[Heidi:] I want to go through to
[Vicki:] She doesn't really belong to the drama group now, she came out in September.
[Heidi:] [shouting] Don't I get something [] cos no one 's got anything... nineteen eighty... four I started.
[Vicki:] You've been there nine years then.
[Joan:] You will be the guest star so you should get
[Heidi:] Eight. Is that right?
[Vicki:] You've been there quite a whi well yes you'd been there seven years when you gave up hadn't you?
[Heidi:] Ninetee I started in nineteen eighty four
[Vicki:] Did you?
[Heidi:] cos... we did Box of Tricks eighty six, the year before that we did... Cinderella in nineteen eighty five and I started... September October eighty four....
[Joan:] Mm cos you were in the first one weren't you?
[Heidi:] Mhm.
[Vicki:] You were the little puss weren't you in Cinderella?
[Heidi:] Mhm. So eighty four, eighty five, eighty six, eighty seven, eighty eight, eighty nine, ninety, ninety one... I would have been there eight, eight and a bit years....
[Joan:] Next time you make this Vicki... don't ask me if you should add any more liquid [LAUGHTER] just add it []....
[Vicki:] What? I'll save you a bit Luce, I'll save you a bit....
[Heidi:] Do you think I will come on last?
[Joan:] I shouldn't starring part.
[Heidi:] But I'm thinking, I'm think I've got this terrible feeling I'd have to come on with the princess, if we've just got married
[Vicki:] [cough]
[Joan:] Oh well you will then.
[Heidi:] to come through.
[Vicki:] With Angela?
[Heidi:] Mm. Want to come on on my own....
[Vicki:] Well perhaps you can.... Princess and then, just shortly afterwards, Aladdin.
[Heidi:] Cos in Tom Sawyer... we came on together didn't we?
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Heidi:] Which wasn't too bad....
[Vicki:] I'll save you a bit
[Heidi:] I thought she might have said something last year cos I was leaving.
[Vicki:] Well perhaps she thought you might change your mind....
[Joan:] Perhaps she thought you wouldn't really leave.
[Heidi:] She was wrong then....
[Frederick:] Well are you making a guest appearance then?
[Heidi:] Yeah. Cos she'd been wanting to do Aladdin for a couple of years but it was on at The Playhouse
[Vicki:] And then it was on at the Theatre Royal.
[Heidi:] so she did Tom Sawyer, out of Huckleberry Finn. So that's the best one we've ever done
[Joan:] Huckleberry Finn, it was good wasn't it?
[Heidi:] and then last year we did Peter Pan and I said right I'm leaving... but she's always wanted
[Joan:] To do it.
[Heidi:] to do Aladdin so when she thought she'd do it this year she wanted me for Aladdin.
[Joan:] Come on then, jump
[Heidi:] For some silly reason
[Joan:] come on then... come on then... come on.
[Vicki:] So we now have singing er rehearsals, you know er
[Heidi:] But I cannae not sing
[Vicki:] You can if you think about it.
[Heidi:] Not in tune to that one. [LAUGHTER] I was singing it []
[Vicki:] Well we'll just have to get the music and
[Heidi:] I was singing it in, not in my feet I was going [singing very low] I was me going to do all the words
[Vicki:] We'll see if we can get some music from the library, see if our library's got
[Heidi:] went down into town
[Vicki:] Yes but you, you have to buy the whole album and they hadn't got that in, they'd just sold out.
[Heidi:] Did you see The Phantom music? I'd look at that. But it would be a bit hard.
[Joan:] They hadn't any of er Lloyd Webber's music.
[Vicki:] Where did you try?...
[Joan:] Foxes.
[Vicki:] Mm I was just wondering erm
[Joan:] Is there anywhere else?
[Vicki:] Windblowers
[Heidi:] Shermans
[Joan:] Oh I
[Vicki:] seem to have gone down the drain a bit.
[Joan:] Windblowers is right up Road
[Vicki:] Yes
[Joan:] isn't it?
[Vicki:] The best thing to do is to ring first.
[Frederick:] I'll tell you where I had terrific service once, I can't remember what it was for now, it's... it's a shop, it's called Arcade Records because originally it was in the arcade, but it's now just above the Cannon Cinema in between you know on Chapel Bar on the left hand side. And I wanted a particular tape, oh I know it was a tape I'd heard... a coach driver using on the er on a coach trip that I was on... so I got to know what it was... erm and er I went round the usual shops no joy
[Vicki:] Nothing.
[Frederick:] and no sort of interest in... in trying to do anything about it
[Joan:] Yes that's the attitude isn't it, in the main.
[Frederick:] I went in to this fella... er er er he seemed to know what I was talking about to start with
[Joan:] That's a good start, yeah.
[Frederick:] and he said ah no problem I can order it for you if you'd like me to so I said I would and he said he'd phone me when er
[Joan:] Mm.
[Frederick:] when he er got it. And he either phoned me the following morning or if it wasn't the following morning it was the one after that.
[Joan:] Mm.
[Vicki:] That's good then.
[Frederick:] Mm I was very impressed.
[Vicki:] I can't remember seeing erm a music shop
[Frederick:] No you w
[Vicki:] mind you I don't
[Joan:] We don't go go up there much do we?
[Vicki:] very often.
[Frederick:] You don't erm the other day I thought to myself... I'll walk up, see if that shop's still there and by the time, you know er I was dreaming obviously, and I'd walked by, I'd got time actually, I was killing time so er... I thought oh you silly... I said er you've still not er found out, so I went back and it is there but it's not some, it's not a shop
[Joan:] That you'd notice.
[Frederick:] No, I mean he's got things that er he's got er CDs and things in the window but it's not erm...
[Joan:] He doesn't blast your eardrums out as you get past the door like some of these do.
[Frederick:] Oh no no no no, no no no no, no and er
[Heidi:] H M V. Oh yes you've bought my tape. No
[Joan:] Which tape?
[Heidi:] My Phil Collins.
[Joan:] Oh w
[Vicki:] Well we did have a look but we haven't found it anywhere.
[Heidi:] Erm... going along the centre near... Top Shop, H M V I think it is, that'll have it.
[Joan:] Well you made a list of what you would like for your birthday, it doesn't say
[Heidi:] There's only two things on it.
[Joan:] it doesn't say you're having both of them dear.
[Vicki:] You can hope.
[Heidi:] If not I'll have a load of money.
[Vicki:] You live in hope and you also die in despair....
[Heidi:] You don't clean it out very well do you?... Tt it's got bits of shortbread in it!...
[Joan:] ... Well I put some on a piece of shortcake.
[Vicki:] And we only wanted the melted chocolate, we could have had a sticky finger then [LAUGHTER] couldn't we []?
[Joan:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah [].
[Vicki:] use it... without spilling it down. What did you say Heidi, it'd be too rich?
[Heidi:] I just said very rich I didn't say too rich.
[Vicki:] Very rich.
[Joan:] But it was so runny wasn't it when it was in the
[Vicki:] It was quite runny.
[Joan:] saucepan. And I had visions of you, put anything else in it would be...
[Vicki:] Running off your fruit.
[Joan:] running down your chin. It didn't run down your chin it stuck to your chin.
[Heidi:] thank you very much.
[Vicki:] Never mind, never mind it gives you something to do. Would you like some more?
[Frederick:] Can I... do that?
[Vicki:] Course you can, yeah, yeah by all means. Yes that's what it's there for, make use of it.
[Joan:] Well mine, I've had mine Vicki because it
[Heidi:] We watched In Bed With Madonna.
[Vicki:] So you told me. Would you like some more?
[Frederick:] I'll just have a spot can I? Help myself
[Vicki:] Yes do help yourself.
[Frederick:] shall I?
[Vicki:] Do help yourself and I'll make some coffee as well.
[Heidi:] Mm I'm podged
[Vicki:] You podged?
[Joan:] What an expression! You mean you are... F T B
[Heidi:] Full to bursting, no I'm not.
[Joan:] Or
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Vicki:] Full as a bridge. Did you see erm... Blind Date last night?
[Heidi:] Yes!
[Vicki:] Did you see Blind Date yeah?
[Heidi:] Which bit? Oh her
[Vicki:] Erm
[Heidi:] trousers! Oh!
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joan:] The one with
[Vicki:] She went well with the one in jeans. Did you see it last night?
[Heidi:] I know ooh
[Joan:] Oh and he said
[Vicki:] Well he did look a bit like Andy Pandy didn't he?
[Heidi:] No he was a workman.
[Vicki:] I know he was. Well he worked in a Job Centre.
[Joan:] Yes. No it wasn't
[Heidi:] Anyway what about him?
[Vicki:] He did
[Frederick:] No.
[Vicki:] when he stood next to Cilla.... No I wanted to see how that lad last week
[Heidi:] Oh the lad, the lad picking the girl?
[Vicki:] Paul
[Heidi:] He was so sweet.
[Vicki:] the one, the one that made all those erm
[Heidi:] Funny remarks
[Vicki:] Yeah
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Heidi:] The ones which went to Alton Towers?
[Vicki:] Yeah. I wanted to see how he got on because I didn't think she was the right one for him, I wouldn't have picked her I'd've picked somebody else
[Heidi:] They went well.
[Vicki:] but they seemed to, yes they went better than I
[Heidi:] And didn't he didn't he, didn't, didn't he look cute in that
[Vicki:] He looked nice in his suit. She looked nice that night
[Joan:] Very nice yes
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Joan:] they seem as though they might have hit it off.
[Heidi:] Ha!
[Joan:] Cos she hasn't had much success lately has she with her Blind Date people?
[Heidi:] Mm! She
[Vicki:] I wonder
[Heidi:] [whispering] Mummy []
[Vicki:] if some of them just do it to be... on the television.
[Heidi:] On the telly. You get people
[Frederick:] Well now the the thing is... and you're speaking to an expert here
[Vicki:] Oh right, right clear the table, let's
[Joan:] ha have you been on?
[Frederick:] I, I haven't been on but you're the first people I've told this to, I have been out with somebody who has been on
[Joan:] Oh.
[Vicki:] Have you?
[Frederick:] as a result of her being on.
[Vicki:] Oh!... Mm
[Joan:] But she
[Frederick:] Now then can you, do you watch it usually?
[Joan:] Yes I
[Frederick:] Yeah. Do you remember an American fella,elder you know, getting on?
[Joan:] An old'un, older, yes.
[Frederick:] Yeah.... And er do you remember seeing it, Meryl his name was, do you remember?
[Joan:] I can't remember his name I'm not very good at names
[Frederick:] Quite a good looking fella
[Joan:] Mm.
[Frederick:] and he picked number two
[Joan:] Yes?
[Frederick:] and... do you remember him when they came back? He, he erm...
[Joan:] No I don't think I saw him on, on the return one.
[Frederick:] Oh, it was a disaster, he was er my estimation of him went down a hundred percent... because she smoked
[Joan:] Oh and he didn't did he?
[Frederick:] and he didn't
[Joan:] Yes.
[Frederick:] and er i it was a an absolute disaster er I, I mean he, he more or less er he went back to bed in the morning.
[Joan:] And he didn't take her out?
[Frederick:] Er
[Joan:] Mm.
[Frederick:] you know it really was... terrible. Anyway erm tt... did y you saw the original programme?
[Joan:] Yes when he picked her, yeah.
[Frederick:] Yeah. Well number one... was a lady who, do you remember, er Cilla said to her erm... er you've, and yo you've got a shop haven't you? Er and she said yes and er er and it was a wedding shop
[Joan:] Mm.
[Frederick:] and she, and she said to Cilla
[Joan:] And
[Frederick:] said and what er what's the name you've given it? And she said Hitched... do you remember?
[Joan:] Well I can't just remember, I can remember, and the other, the other one was in some sort of trade too wasn't number three too? Yeah.
[Frederick:] Yeah she was erm she er
[Joan:] Was she antiques or something? Yes.
[Frederick:] Yes that's right that's right. Well anyway... erm... this number w i if I, if I'd've picked any of them you see, I mean admittedly you, you've got a, a, a bet
[Vicki:] You can see what they look like, yeah.
[Frederick:] I would have picked number one you see and erm... of course there was the... er I knew the name Barbara... erm and knew she'd got a shop called Hitched in Northampton... er er anyway when I was in the library I thought well I'll just see if... Hitched is in the telephone book you see, and it was. Er but anyway er an and the address, full address was you see so... a about a week... I, I, I wrote, you know, to her and told her a bit about myself and er, you know, about, about seeing the programme etcetera and erm I got a letter... did I get a letter back? Yeah got a letter back from her and she seemed quite pleased to have the letter but she also started by I've been surprised by the amount [LAUGHTER] of interest shown [] s si since I went on.
[Joan:] From the pro [cough]
[Frederick:] Anyway erm tt I went down... the... day before I went into hospital actually for my op, and er
[Joan:] Mm
[Frederick:] just spent a... a day there and erm... very nice erm she's got a lovely shop, she's in partner
[Joan:] Where is do you know the address?
[Frederick:] Abing Abington Grove
[Joan:] Street. Abington Grove? Oh that's where erm... June was wasn't it?
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Joan:] No.
[Vicki:] Yeah.
[Joan:] No, Abington Grove... Aunty Evelyn... think she was living on
[Vicki:] She was off Abington Street wasn't she?
[Joan:] Yeah.
[Heidi:] Do you remember that shop with in?
[Vicki:] [sigh]
[Joan:] Abington Grove Yes. [LAUGHTER] I mean [] I know that place so well and I can't just put my finger on Abington Grove....
[Vicki:] [sneeze] Excuse me. Cos there's Abington Avenue
[Frederick:] Yeah. There is isn't there?
[Joan:] Yeah, the v yeah
[Frederick:] And, and, and I don't think they're all at the same place either are they?
[Vicki:] No.
[Frederick:] This is somewhere near d is it the racecourse?
[Vicki:] Yeah.
[Joan:] Yes.
[Frederick:] Somewhere near the racecourse
[Vicki:] Yeah, yeah
[Frederick:] I understand.
[Vicki:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Vicki:] Mm! Oh!
[Joan:] Ooh!...
[Vicki:] There's a bit of news Luce. Right let's clear these and make some coffee.
[Joan:] So is it furthering?
[Frederick:] Tt oh I, I don't think so really....
[Vicki:] But it might if you keep in touch.
[Frederick:] Yes and we er
[Joan:] Well it's different isn't it? Er
[Frederick:] er do you know the er, it looked a fairly new building, I don't know how long it had been going, she's a member of the... something club... [cough]
[Joan:] Something club.
[Frederick:] It's got a casino upstairs.
[Joan:] Ah erm... tt Vicki what's that casino called that used to be somewhere near... the erm Boys Brigade place?...
[Heidi:] Did used to be Boys Brigade?
[Joan:] Oh what on earth's it called?
[Frederick:] I shall kn I shall know it No....
[Joan:] Er yes he was an... officer in the Boys Brigade and that's where he started all his Duke of Edinburgh work. Erm... I'll ask Vicki if she can remember.... Names beat me sometimes these days.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Joan:] I can see the place.
[Heidi:] You know when
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Heidi:] nana?
[Joan:] And it's more in the centre of the town isn't it?
[Frederick:] It is.
[Joan:] Yes.
[Frederick:] It is yeah.
[Heidi:] Nana there's that shop with that horsy in.
[Joan:] Oh on the Kettering Road?
[Heidi:] Mm....
[Joan:] Used to have a beautiful, almost full size wasn't it?...
[Heidi:] What do you mean full size? Horses come in different sizes.
[Joan:] Well it wasn't a small model.
[Heidi:] But you get small ponies, I mean it could be a life size model of a horse that big.... Mm... Mm mm... Did you have a nice Christmas?
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Heidi:] That was ages ago.
[Frederick:] Yes. Did you?
[Heidi:] Watched the box but we had, I don't think there was anything decent on... but yeah had a nice christmas lunch, Tash and John came and... nice, had a nice time.... Cold yesterday.
[Frederick:] Yes it was wasn't it?...
[Heidi:] It snowing... Want to get a week off school...
[Frederick:] So Tasha's at Langley Mill did I hear?... So is she working, she used to work at didn't she?
[Heidi:] Yeah in the erm... tt industrial estate near...
[Frederick:] Is she still there?
[Heidi:] Yeah....
[Frederick:] Is your dad at Auckley?
[Heidi:] Yeah erm... don't know when he's back... don't know anything.......
[Frederick:] Are, are you taking any other science subjects other than chemistry? [cough]
[Heidi:] I'm taking biology as well.
[Frederick:] Biology? Mm....
[Heidi:] I quite like maths but I don't like the teacher... cos though I like maths I just don't like the lessons. They're a bit boring.... Hate English.... Oh no...
[Frederick:] Does everybody have to take maths now?
[Heidi:] Yeah got to take maths.
[Frederick:] [cough]
[Heidi:] it's only if you do English literature as well but I don't.
[Joan:] Would you like to... sit more comfortably in the lounge for your coffee?
[Frederick:] Thank you.
[Vicki:] Shall we sit in the lounge and be a bit more relaxed?
[Joan:] Can you see can you see through them?
[Heidi:] No they make my eyes go funny.
[Vicki:] Oh they really suit you.
[Joan:] I shouldn't think so because they're rather strong dear
[Heidi:] Just a bit.
[Joan:] those are.
[Vicki:] Just a bit.
[Heidi:] Just a bit, weeny, weeny weeny
[Vicki:] Are you coming in the...
[Heidi:] Yeah I'm going to sleep on the settee.
[Vicki:] You needn't bother going to sleep you can just carry the tray for us.
[Heidi:] Oh it's got Mel Gibson...
[Vicki:] ? Do sit down Fred and I'll
[Frederick:] Thank you.
[Heidi:] Warning, this is a government health warning, there is going to be a large bang. Very large. I don't know how much gun powder to put in these. [bang]... [shouting] Had some Party Poppers at Charlotte's mother [].
[Vicki:] You had Party Poppers at Charlotte's?
[Heidi:] Yeah.
[Vicki:] Oh very nice....
[Joan:] Ah! Just what we need isn't it, on the floor.
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joan:] Come on, pick it up.
[Heidi:] It's decorative, the dog can play with it.... Mummy wants me to carry the tray in.... Without the coffee...
[Joan:] [sigh] We've been playing Michael Crawford's music... on the tape, well we started because she was erm tt trying to get the tune for Love Changes Everything so this morning we decided
[Heidi:] Don't. That is an embarrassing subject.
[Joan:] Pardon?
[Heidi:] It's an embarrassing subject....
[Vicki:] embarrassing subject?
[Heidi:] Love Changes Everything. We've got the T V...
[Joan:] What time are you going to the?
[Heidi:] Don't know don't care.
[Joan:] Are you walking up? What is the idea of having your trousers
[Heidi:] So the bottoms don't get ruined.
[Vicki:] So the bottoms don't get ruined, we're considering the bottoms of our jeans now.
[Heidi:] ...
[Joan:] Don't know....
[Heidi:] [shouting] Lovejoy, you've gotta watch Lovejoy []
[Vicki:] Where's that gone to?...
[Heidi:] Oh mummy I'm sad.
[Vicki:] Are you dear?
[Heidi:] [whingeing] is not on [].
[Joan:] Well of course it's not on, it hasn't been on for weeks.
[Vicki:] and we can watch Lovejoy. Now would you like me to put it in for you or shall... would you like to help yourself?
[Frederick:] Yes put it in for me, not too much.
[Vicki:] Not too much. Is that enough?
[Frederick:] Thank you yeah.
[Vicki:] Sugar?
[Frederick:] Yes please.
[Heidi:] I erm, I t you know The Bounty?
[Vicki:] Oh how's that? Erm
[Heidi:] [shouting] Lucy []
[Frederick:] Thank you. Hang on to that and I'll put some sugar in.
[Joan:] you'll hit her listen you went in to her.
[Heidi:] [whingeing] I did not, look what she did to my jumper.
[Frederick:] Thank you.
[Vicki:] Thank you.
[Heidi:] I did nothing to her []
[Vicki:] What's the matter?
[Joan:] Well she was asleep. If you look on the worktop
[Heidi:] broken is it?
[Joan:] No.
[Heidi:] Cos if it is I'm getting a new one.... Come here! Come
[Vicki:] I think er there's a surprise in the bag Fred brought. Would you like to go and see?
[Heidi:] Yeah. you were being silly, I didn't do anything.
[Vicki:] Have you got enough milk in there Fred?
[Frederick:] Yes thank you.
[Heidi:] Mummy anyway, you know that you enjoyed looking at The Bounty? You know right at the end... he had those very gorgeous of his?
[Vicki:] Very gorgeous what?
[Joan:] Sorry yes?
[Heidi:] It blew out and it.... Erm nine fifty to twelve o'clock, how long is that?... Two, three hours isn't it?
[Joan:] Nine fifty to twelve o'clock, what's that?... She picks all these films on the television she wants to watch and they're all late.... Most of them are rubbish I should think.... that's mine.
[Heidi:] Are we opening these or? Are we opening these?
[Vicki:] I thought we could open them and have one with
[Joan:] the point is after nine o'clock they're not fit for under eight
[Vicki:] Human consumption.
[Joan:] under eighteen viewing.
[Heidi:] What's this about if it's after n well if what's after nine o'clock, a film?
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Joan:] The films that are on television, if they're after nine o'clock they're not... suitable for under eighteens viewing.
[Heidi:] Excuse me are you saying that... Young Guns is not suitable for people under eighteen? I think that's a bit of a joke somehow.
[Vicki:] Have you gotta be there for half past?
[Heidi:] Yes.
[Vicki:] Right.
[Heidi:] but I like, I like chocolate.
[Joan:] Are you go are you going to sing to us
[Heidi:] I like
[Vicki:] Warm your voice up before you get up there.
[Heidi:] It's not singing today.
[Vicki:] Oh. Isn't it?
[Heidi:] Think I'm gonna change this before it gets ruined.
[Joan:] That sounds a good idea....
[Heidi:] Ooh a caramel.
[Joan:] I think mummy has first choice dear.
[Heidi:] I'm only looking, I haven't even got down to the thing yet.
[Vicki:] She's only looking so she can say don't take that one, don't take that one and I like that as well.
[Joan:] I know.
[Heidi:] I know we can't have it....
[Joan:] ...
[Heidi:] You can have the coffee cream.... Might get there in a minute but I think these are going to go on the floor in a minute.
[Joan:] Well I [LAUGHTER] []
[Heidi:] Well one minute
[Joan:] It does take a long while doesn't it? Oh it does yes it does.
[Frederick:] No I don't want one thanks.
[Heidi:] Oh.
[Joan:] Mummy first....
[Heidi:] You don't want the toffee do you?
[Vicki:] No.
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Vicki:] Oh they've got a new box I think.
[Joan:] Oh doesn't it?
[Vicki:] Right what shall we have Lucy? Shall we have erm
[Heidi:] Did you watch Baywatch yesterday mother?
[Vicki:] No I didn't. Thank you.
[Heidi:] Good wasn't it? He got kidnapped Herbie got kidnapped
[Vicki:] Who did?
[Heidi:] Herbie.
[Vicki:] Oh yeah.
[Joan:] We bought some toffees last week, chocolates last week in Thorntons, supposed to be assorted... we bought a pound and, and they were caramels and both Malcolm
[Heidi:] I didn't get caramel
[Joan:] I and Vicki we don't really like caramels because of chewing them... and every one we
[Vicki:] We are trying to preserve our teeth.
[Joan:] [LAUGHTER] every one was a caramel []
[Heidi:] I didn't get all caramels
[Joan:] We sort of had one had one and said oh that was a caramel, I'll try a different shape
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joan:] tried it, oh that was a caramel, oh well I'll try this triangular shape, oh that's a caramel as well, ooh.... But we did get through the pound.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Joan:] [LAUGHTER]
[Vicki:] Well it's not difficult when you've got somebody else joining you.
[Heidi:] Excuse me! I did not eat that many thank you very much!
[Vicki:] Right. Go and get yourself ready for
[Heidi:] I'm just I'm just sorting this out. What was it? This is what I recorded, I recorded... this, the erm Jagged Edge which was erm erm [reading] dreary quite average thriller that hots up nicely towards the end with [] call it erm erm erm [reading] becomes erm uncomfortably memorable.... something Jeff Bridges who's not very nice but steaming rich... might have been found recently []
[Joan:] Heidi we don't really want to know.
[Heidi:] And the other thing I videoed was
[Joan:] And would you switch off it's Eastenders.
[Heidi:] was Marathon Man... Dustin Hoffman. I'm not watching Eastenders I'm watching the video....
[Vicki:] You won't have time.
[Heidi:] I'm not watching it I'm just getting it... at the beginning....... got on it.... I think he's
[Vicki:] I think he's going to...
[Joan:] Mm....
[Heidi:] Well what's he gonna do? Go and
[Vicki:] Go straight into that
[Heidi:] Oh that'll be a nice explosion. Must see this....
[Joan:] Oh yes....
[Heidi:] Ya! Look at that, yeah. Erm...... Oh it's him, what's his name That, no it's not Colin... he's been in it for ages now.
[Joan:] Tt oh dear Heidi! Just switch it off so we don't er
[Heidi:] ten past two... past
[Vicki:] It's twenty past two.
[Joan:] I think you'd better get yourself sorted out.... Did you have washes this morning?...
[Heidi:] Yeah. I did....
[Vicki:] Has she got any brothers and sisters?
[Heidi:] Brother.
[Vicki:] Oh how old is he?
[Heidi:] Year younger.
[Vicki:] Oh. I bet he was really pleased
[Heidi:] [shouting] That's him out The Bill []
[Joan:] Which room did you sleep in, her bedroom?
[Heidi:] The lounge.
[Joan:] Oh.
[Vicki:] The lounge....
[Heidi:] Is that him out The Bill?
[Vicki:] No it's your imagination.
[Heidi:] He was in something the other day which I watched. You know that old D C I nana? Ray...
[Vicki:] Have you seen any more holidays on er teletext then?
[Frederick:] Not real, real
[Vicki:] Not
[Frederick:] super. But of course I've not been in the market you, you know. I've er
[Vicki:] So there's no point in looking in case there is something that appeals?
[Frederick:] Well I, I still do look er y you know but not er... m you see last year th there's not been bargains with erm, who was it who went bust?... Erm you know the big er
[Vicki:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] big Intasun when that... you see all those people needed erm... other holidays and then with Yugoslavia coming out of the market because of the unrest there
[Vicki:] Trouble there.
[Frederick:] people who were going there wanted holidays so there wasn't too much over capacity....
[Vicki:] Have you gotta go back with your hand?
[Frederick:] Yes I see er the surgeon again on Thursday... and I'm having physio....
[Joan:] Is it painful?
[Frederick:] No not really. I it's... it's
[Joan:] Aches?
[Frederick:] not painful er but it... when you er it is when they're doing physio and when I do, you know, I have, have to do it myself, I should be doing it every hour.
[Joan:] Have they, well did they cut you across the palm of your hand?...
[Frederick:] Yes my... it started there and went up to there....
[Heidi:] I'm not going nowhere near that thing.
[Joan:] I thought Vernon was er more down across his hand and he couldn't d do anything with his palm of his hand.
[Vicki:] Are you gonna have a chocolate Fred?
[Frederick:] No thanks.
[Joan:] Not at the moment thank you, I think I've really had
[Vicki:] You're really podged?
[Joan:] Yes.
[Vicki:] What would you like Lucy? Well don't have that one because it's apricot.
[Joan:] It won't do any because it won't do anything for my waistline.
[Vicki:] I know you can get sport, weather, news whatever on but I wouldn't know what else you can get or what page.
[Joan:] Oh well I haven't got as far as that because I
[Frederick:] [cough]
[Vicki:] So how do you know just what is available?
[Joan:] Erm... I shall have to sit one afternoon [LAUGHTER] and go through it all [].
[Frederick:] Yes well i if you're on one
[Joan:] I think it was erm... when John was tt playing with it
[Vicki:] Fiddling around
[Joan:] I, I noticed
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Vicki:] He just stood there
[Joan:] Ernie's Ernie's winning numbers.
[Vicki:] Ernie's winning numbers? Ah. Bet it wasn't ours was it?
[Joan:] I don't know what mine are to tell you the truth.
[Vicki:] Well you'll have to have yours glued erm tt to the side of the television set when Ernie's numbers comes up you can
[Joan:] Well they're supposed to let you know aren't they if erm... if you win?
[Vicki:] They are supposed to tell you.
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Vicki:] I'm sure they will let you know....
[Joan:] Cos when it first started I used to... check in the Sunday paper every day but er I dunno [LAUGHTER] it's a waste of time []. They've got the address, they're supposed to let you know when
[Frederick:] Yeah
[Joan:] you come up.... I have a niece who... erm she had quite a few, she's won several times.... And it's a case of coals, taking coals to Newcastle
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah [] yeah....
[Joan:] But it would be quite nice to collect on, on something. But you get quite a lot of these... erm I suppose they're trying to promote what they're say selling... you are, you have been picked out of Nottingham
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []
[Joan:] to have these er four numbers, a chance to win about twenty thousand.... I keep sending them back but [LAUGHTER] I haven't got the twenty thousand [] yet.... Ah I did win s... it was before, before Tasha and John got married it was er one of these catalogues that came through you see... anyway I sent the thing back and I got the catalogue and they wanted some things out and you get twenty five pounds off whatever you ordered, the first order, so quite alright... but I did win something out of that draw... [LAUGHTER] twenty five P []
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joan:] they sent me a cheque for twenty five P and I was going to tear it up... I thought well no I might as well put it in the... in the bank... twenty five P. And I waited till I'd got a few... bit more money to put in and sort of hid it amongst all these others, mm. Yeah twenty five P I won on that one.... [talking to dog] What have you got your nose there for?... But talk about a hassle... they wanted, they, well they picked the be the pr you know the present that you c you claim erm, a deep fryer... and I think it was in March time... and by July it still hadn't come in spite of ringing and writing and everything else
[Frederick:] Really?
[Joan:] and then they informed me that it was out of stock so I wrote them rather a... a polite [LAUGHTER] letter [] saying that it took them a long to realize it was out of stock when it had been ordered in March... and erm... I thought their communi communicative system in their office was er non existent. Anyway they said what else would they like and they had some, a set of luggage, well it's only this nylon stuff but it was very useful for them to take away with them... it did a bit of good the and I, I put in this letter... I shall no longer order, I shall... what was it? I shall be very wary of having any contact with your firm [LAUGHTER] again []. They're still pestering me, sending me letters and... we haven't heard from you recently
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joan:] what would you like from [LAUGHTER] the catalogue sort of thing [] and I only had this catalogue to... Cos I pa you know I paid for it... what di did they have? Oh I think an electric drill... it was in the sixties... so with the twenty five pounds off... it brought it down a bit and I, I paid for it with one cheque so I wasn't having it on the weekly er... er it worked out I think Vicki gave some of it towards it.... But I thought if that's how they run a business... So then when they, they moved house I realized they were using an ordinary saucepan to do their chips in... and I had visions of fat boiling over and... cos it's gas... so I bought them one a... very nice deep fryer as a housewarming present.... It came in very useful because they were quite a while before the gas was connected.... But you've only got, if you w if you put... chips in a basket in a... chip pan if it, the fat boils up you can at least lift the chips out straight away but if you're putting them straight into the pan there's no hope of stopping it coming over.
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] Oh I kept thinking of this fire hazard... thought I can't, I can't [LAUGHTER] live with that any longer
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joan:] with the thought of them using a saucepan.... Cos they hadn't seen any danger to it I suppose.... So then John, he tries all sorts of things out, you know doughnuts and... things like that and it's a thermostatically controlled
[Frederick:] Yeah
[Joan:] one so he knows what the temperature's going to be and er he's... I think he's quite enjoyed experimenting with it.... They've got quite a nice... it's not a large house but it's a good size... lounge and dining room and kitchen. The bathroom is downstairs but there are three bedrooms so it's quite a decent... size for them.... But the base of the bed is still in the dining room, they can't get it up [LAUGHTER] up the stairs []... although i although it folds up, you know, it's [LAUGHTER] it's standing like this in [] in the dining room.... The cat er likes it there, it goes and sits on the top of it.... [shouting] You're not cooking are you?... Vicki []?... Sh she got the door closed?...
[Frederick:] Sounds though er soun well
[Joan:] She gets in that kitchen you know and
[Frederick:] sounds like...
[Joan:] [shouting] Vicki
[Vicki:] [shouting] Hello []
[Joan:] you're not cooking are you []?
[Vicki:] I can't hear with the washer going.
[Joan:] You're not cooking are you?
[Vicki:] No.
[Joan:] Oh. What are you busy doing?
[Vicki:] I've just washed the wine glasses out.
[Joan:] Oh well I would have come and done those
[Vicki:] Ah there's only four. I've done them now.
[Joan:] Oh right.... Being lazy. I had such a lazy week... Christmas week... I went down to er Northamptonshire to my son's. All I did was [LAUGHTER] wash up [] and we didn't do anything else. Talk about being lazy. They wouldn't let me do a thing.... Never went out till Friday because it was, they went walking but it was so windy cos... they're here and the garden's sort of down to a field and then it's all fields and fields and fields and the wind just... comes across like gales all the time.... I think I've never spent such a lazy week....
[Frederick:] Were you here at Christmas?
[Joan:] No.
[Frederick:] You were down there?
[Joan:] Mm.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Joan:] Went on the Saturday. They came up to view Heidi's riding display then I went back with them and Vicki and Malcolm diverted from Barford on the Sunday where they'd been for lunch and picked me up Sunday afternoon the sort of following weekend.... First time I hadn't spent Christmas with Vicki I think since they were married.... We went to the theatre in London on the Friday night.... They have erm... what's called the players' theatre, I don't know whether you've heard of it at all erm they belong, they're members of it. It's only the ground floor, really, and it is set out with a bar at the back and refreshments like the old music halls used to be with every so often, every few seats there is a table so that it's a thing to have your drink and refreshments to hand at the table. And before the proceedings you drink the health to Queen Victoria
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER] Oh yes []
[Joan:] and it's a, an old fashioned music hall, more often than not well... when we went it was a pantomime but the first... part of the evening was an o a music hall
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Joan:] type of entertainment, then it was a pantomime, Beauty and the Beast, but they keep as near to the original script as they can always, well it was written eighteen fourteen or something. quite entertaining.... And you sing chorus so you know they give you a song sheet and you sing then.... It's very expensive to... for what it is, I mean it's fifteen pounds a ticket but if you, if you're a member of course you get in reduced
[Frederick:] Yes.
[Joan:] But you've got to, Terence said it's so dear to be a member you have got to keep going to get your, your money back.... But it's, it's a nice homely... it's all been refurbished in the last year.... And they've made a very nice restaurant on the top floor. Only a very small one but it's very nice... nice food.... Then when we came out we s went... around London to see the sights but... the decorations but why we went I didn't think anything to them at all this year.... Cos we didn't get ou we didn't... fin it didn't finish till about
[Frederick:] [cough]
[Joan:] well half past ten... if not later so we were late getting home.
[Frederick:] Mm....
[Joan:] But they pop down to London as though it's... down [LAUGHTER] into town but []... They're quite near the motorway so it's useful.
[Frederick:] Yes well I've often said Northampton's about the right distance. Er y y
[Joan:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] you can, it's within striking distance isn't it?
[Joan:] Yes.... It doesn't take them long at all to get in the outskirts of London, it's weaving your way
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] through when you've got there.
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Vicki:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Joan:] Well her mum's knee wasn't there so she thought she
[Vicki:] Ah!
[Joan:] she might as well sit on her gran's
[Vicki:] Her mum's knee will be back.
[Joan:] on her gran's knee.
[Vicki:] Mum's knee will be back. Ah! somebody else's knee?... Don't want do you Luce?...
[Joan:] Is his eye running again? I think he must have a bit of cold in it or something. Have you still got a hair in... from your
[Vicki:] Haircut.
[Joan:] haircut?
[Vicki:] This weather's enough to give anybody a cold eye isn't it? Mm?
[Joan:] Well we set out with the good intention of taking her for a long walk this morning but er... we changed our mind didn't we?...
[Vicki:] Didn't do, didn't think it would do you any good did we?
[Joan:] Oh it was so damp and ooh and miserable
[Frederick:] Oh it was miserable yeah. Yesterday it was very cold but it was very nice
[Joan:] Yes.
[Frederick:] and dry wasn't it?
[Joan:] Yes I, I walked from er where was it, Langmere Lane?...
[Vicki:] Walked from... road...
[Joan:] Well wasn't, isn't that Langmere Lane where you park the car?
[Vicki:] No Langmere Lane's the other side of the garage....
[Joan:] Well what's that lane called then?...
[Vicki:] Tt that goes into Compton Acres doesn't it? I don't know what that's called.
[Joan:] car conked out so Vicki stayed with the car and her who we were going to take a walk in Ruddington, and I walked home with her to get Malcolm to... go over with the other car. And it was quite ni actually although I was hurrying because I thought of them sitting in the car erm it was very pleasant walking, very slippery though along by Walford cemetery and all down there.
[Vicki:] You really stepped out.
[Joan:] Yes.
[Vicki:] Nice crisp morning wasn't it?
[Joan:] It was a pleasant morning for walking, it would have been quite... nice
[Vicki:] But it was cold waited.
[Joan:] Well you were frozen weren't you waiting? Cold day, it was me that... but I think with hurrying so, quite a good walk. It's alright when I first got in then after a while my legs [LAUGHTER] all started going wobbly [].
[Frederick:] Oh yeah....
[Vicki:] But Saturday mornings we usually [cough] drop Heidi don't we?
[Joan:] Yes.
[Vicki:] [cough] And then go in the
[Joan:] The building and leisure centre
[Vicki:] park.
[Joan:] leisure park at Ruddington and they've got a quite a lot
[Vicki:] Paths and
[Joan:] yes of intersecting paths haven't they?
[Vicki:] And it's just opposite where we drop Heidi, we used to walk along the road... it doesn't really lead anywhere only to a couple of farms does it? But if we go in the park she can run more, or in the summer we go down by the old railway track don't we?
[Joan:] Yes.
[Vicki:] Go through the farm and... go along there. See the flowers and listen to the birds. Don't we?
[Joan:] But you had a walk on your lead yesterday didn't you?... And this morning we got as far as didn't we? Went in for a hot chocolate and that was it we didn't
[Vicki:] And then we just
[Joan:] well we did
[Vicki:] we walked outside didn't we?
[Joan:] Yeah
[Vicki:] So she could come off the lead. But it was so damp and cold and not nice was it?...
[Joan:] She enjoys herself cos she chases around all the beds doesn't she there and
[Vicki:] She doesn't go far she just, she just... doesn't bother anybody else.... Do you?... And Heidi was going to phone to say what time she wanted collecting and so we'd got to be back... couldn't be out too long could we?
[Joan:] No.
[Vicki:] And leave the
[Joan:] We needn't have bothered though need we?
[Vicki:] No! By the look of it.... Cos she asked last night, I was supposed to be taking Jenny and then when Fay came she asked me if I'd take Fay as well today so... it looks as though Charlotte's mum did everybody took everybody home.
[Joan:] Mm. Well it's an awkward time to... ask people to go and fetch them when they're... if they're preparing dinner isn't it?
[Vicki:] Most people don't have a Sunday dinner as they... used to. I don't think it is a traditional
[Frederick:] Not... I don't think it is.
[Joan:] No. It is
[Vicki:] Mind you
[Joan:] when you go to our morning service it is. [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER] Exactly [].
[Vicki:] Well we always used to have what I call a traditional Sunday dinner
[Joan:] Yes we did. Father used to [LAUGHTER] like that so []
[Vicki:] but... well sometimes we still do but sometimes we have something else... instead don't we?
[Joan:] Totally different, yeah.
[Vicki:] Yes....
[Joan:] Lives have changed.
[Vicki:] Yeah, all changed.... But I think there are a lot of people that don't have a Sunday dinner, whatever... form.... Think there are a lot of children that just have, well I think they must just live on snacks, they just...
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Vicki:] something here, beans on toast, open a packet of this, tin of that and... or a take away or...
[Joan:] Pizza or
[Vicki:] mm....
[Joan:] We went to church last... Sunday didn't we?
[Vicki:] Mhm
[Frederick:] [yawn]
[Joan:] Well it's the first time I've been
[Vicki:] This year.
[Joan:] Well you're right yes, it would be this year... but I didn't go much at the end of last year did I?...
[Vicki:] No well you were away...
[Joan:] I was away and then I had that awful little cough... first thing in the morning... erm... and I think I, to be quite honest, I lost interest in going....
[Vicki:] Well last Sunday it seemed to be going quite nicely to start with, trying to think what it was, communion
[Joan:] It was Carole
[Vicki:] communion yes
[Joan:] Carole she's normally very interesting but she was... very hard to hear. Carole. Malcolm said it was
[Vicki:] . Well she was
[Joan:] very good didn't he? But he was sitting underneath her.
[Vicki:] Yeah but we'd got erm tt oh, Leo at the side of us... so he was, do you know the that do christian?
[Frederick:] No I know of them.
[Vicki:] Yeah what's her name? Sandra
[Joan:] Sa Sandra... Sandra I think it is, Sandra...... You couldn't hear anything could you?
[Vicki:] He was chattering away, dad was replying to him, he was up and down the steps, shuffling on the carpet and
[Joan:] They were having this game, you know, one hand on top of the other so
[Frederick:] Oh!
[Joan:] it was clapping and
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER] Oh dear []
[Vicki:] And you just... But as we were saying er talking to Janet afterwards... there was another little one down at the side, erm mum was getting a bit irate with him, but you see they don't take anything for the children to do. I mean you can't expect them to be quiet, just sit and do nothing all that time.
[Frederick:] That's right.
[Vicki:] It didn't finish till five to twelve did it last... Sunday?
[Joan:] Well that's... early, I should have thought it was
[Vicki:] Was it after that?
[Joan:] Well I thought it was, yes. It might have been
[Vicki:] Well you can't expect them to just... sit. I mean fair enough you can't expect them to be quiet. But... I think the parents should... take something for them to do, I mean we used to take colouring books and books for the children to look at and
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Vicki:] whatever so there was something to keep them occupied and erm... you know have a bag and as soon as they got fed up with that right you'd get something else out to take their interest and
[Joan:] Well Peter did remark to this lady didn't he? Who's child was making a dickens of a commotion
[Vicki:] Noise, that the creche was in the
[Joan:] Yes.
[Vicki:] and she did actually take him out at one time
[Joan:] But she looked
[Vicki:] she looked absolute daggers when she took him out didn't she? And then she came in.
[Joan:] Yes and he
[Vicki:] And he'd got a car
[Joan:] that he'd got out of the creche I think, cos he hadn't got it when he went out.
[Vicki:] No, and of course he was running that along the seat
[Joan:] And dropping [LAUGHTER] it [].
[Vicki:] and dropping it off the seat and whatever.
[Joan:] But Leo hadn't got anything but he certainly made enough noise, oh dear. So what with Carole's soft voice and that we didn't get a lot of... and it seemed as though it was well like that, several times I went last year and I really got... a bit cheesed off.
[Vicki:] Oh er yes I was going to say we suddenly heard a chorus didn't we?
[Joan:] Oh yes that was it. Oh well we've got
[Vicki:] There are quite a few children in here, let's have some choruses.... I don't like that.... You're all in the mood and along this line and then all of a sudden it's... yes that's right it was before
[Joan:] Communion, yes.
[Vicki:] we'd had the collection... and then it was all choruses and then it was oh where were we, he'd, then he'd forgotten his glasses, couldn't find his glasses, what page were we
[Joan:] Didn't know where he was.
[Vicki:] [LAUGHTER] Oh dear []. And then we went back to the prayer after the collection didn't we?
[Joan:] Mm.... Where are my glasses? So somebody had to tell him he'd left them at the
[Vicki:] Altar.
[Joan:] altar....
[Vicki:] So it was... we'd got distractions and then we suddenly chip in with all these choruses... er... no! Didn't go down too well with me that didn't. On a family service fair enough, when you've got the family service and it's all
[Frederick:] Yeah, mm, right.
[Vicki:] you know, bits of this and bits of that but there again I think the family service ought to be a lot shorter than it is
[Joan:] Well it certainly should be because it's for the families, for the young children and they, they can't understand what it, all of it is about so... it should be kept as simple and as short as possible.... And the ch and the children should have their own address. Er well one address that is suitable for children. Grown ups can sit and listen to it all close their ears.
[Vicki:] Probably get far more response from the grown ups
[Joan:] Erm but some of these childrens' addresses that we've had at St Paul's... they are very interesting and you get something out of them.
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] I miss going to St Paul's really. Well we did go there one Sunday didn't we?
[Vicki:] Mm. Was that when Malcolm was away?
[Joan:] Mm.
[Vicki:] We could have gone today. We went on poppy day.
[Joan:] That was it.
[Vicki:] Didn't we?
[Joan:] We used to go once a month you know when the girls were in the Guides, used to go for their parade service and if you were at Auckley, Malcolm and I used to go up with Heidi didn't I?
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Joan:] Walk up.... And we got to know all the people there.
[Vicki:] Mm.... And we went there for the Christmas one didn't we?... The midnight service.
[Joan:] Well I didn't cos I wasn't here.
[Vicki:] Oh no.
[Joan:] No that's one thing I missed about Christmas.... Going to. Well Jane did say... no I don't think there's one in the village but if you want to go to one I'll take you to... Daventry would be nearest, yes, but she said I'll take you to one if you want to go....
[Vicki:] Yeah I think we went in November to er St Paul's didn't we?
[Joan:] Mm. Well you can fit so much in to an hour... I mean it's not rushed.
[Vicki:] And it's for the children. [cough]
[Joan:] But it never lasts more than an hour whatever he does.
[Vicki:] Yes Peter goes on and on and on.
[Frederick:] Yes er and of course i if er rather like it seems as happened last week, if he seems to have got a bit of time he seems to need to have to extend it
[Vicki:] Fill it.
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] Yes he's not going to finish before twelve o'clock at the earliest, choose what.... I don't know whose idea it is that it goes on and on.
[Vicki:] Yeah the eight thirty, the eight o'clock service is a lot more... seems a lot more compact, I know you haven't got the hymns, but it seems to erm start, go on and finish, you know it
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Vicki:] it's all there
[Joan:] But that Sat Sunday when Hazel was here... and I, and she didn't want to go so I said I'd stay with her and cook the dinner... when y when you came back you said it's a good job you didn't come, it didn't finish till half past... twelve and you came straight home and you were here about
[Vicki:] Oh that's right. What ha what was that Sunday? and then something extra, yes. That was a long one wasn't it?
[Joan:] I know when you came in you said well it's a good job you didn't come.... Can't remember, cos I don't think you stayed for coffee and you didn't get home till... it was about ten to one wasn't it?
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Joan:] Cos everything was cooked when you
[Vicki:] Mm can't remember now.
[Joan:] when you got here.
[Vicki:] Oh it's ridiculous I think.... So what service is it next week? Don't know. today wasn't it?...
[Joan:] Peter was saying, you know Peter?... Yes his name is isn't it? I always , Peter
[Vicki:] Peter and
[Joan:] That's it. Erm... Do you know I've just wo wondered if I put on their Christmas card. Did you... I gave it you didn't I?
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Joan:] No somebody would've noticed that. It's alright Peter used to [LAUGHTER] live facing them at er Malton [] erm he was saying about the Charismatic how long their services go on, it's about three hours, but he said you know they take their flasks or... they just walk out and have a break if they want to [LAUGHTER] and then go back in []. I thought well... jolly good idea that.
[Vicki:] Well Tasha went down to one or two with Joyce didn't she?
[Joan:] Mm and she erm
[Vicki:] What was it, six o'clock and come [LAUGHTER] back at nine []?
[Joan:] Yes....
[Vicki:] Tt mm. Are you ready for a cup of tea?
[Joan:] That'd be very nice,
[Vicki:] Mm
[Joan:] Could you manage [whispering] a cup of tea Fred []?
[Frederick:] I'll manage a cup of tea and then I'll pop off thank you.
[Joan:] Gosh di do you know it's quarter to four!
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Vicki:] What now?
[Joan:] Yes.
[Vicki:] Oh my doesn't time fly?
[Joan:] Well I looked at that and I thought I thought well I'm, I'm sure it's quarter to and checked on mine.
[Vicki:] Ooh.... Let's make a cuppa....
[Joan:] I can see your eyes keep going, yes. She's only gone in there.... Every noise I hear her, I can see her eyes going [LAUGHTER] round [].
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]...
[Joan:] Where do you go for your physio, Queens?
[Frederick:] No I'm er having it privately like I've had the other, you know, on my er
[Joan:] BUPA thing.
[Frederick:] Well similar to BUPA yeah.
[Joan:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] So it's on Regent Street.
[Joan:] Did you get good treatment in the hospital?
[Frederick:] Mm. I was only there a couple of days but yes it was very good....
[Joan:] Did you find it lonely in a room on your own?
[Frederick:] No erm... well I, I mean the first... day er in the, the mor
[Joan:] You were busy getting ready
[Frederick:] No I, I went in at half past seven in the morning and I was in the operation theatre before quarter to nine... that same morning so that morning was taken up... and the afternoon and evening, Chris came in the evening tt and er... oh er Bob,th the curate, our former curate, came
[Joan:] ?
[Frederick:] I er I phoned him up to let him know I was going in and he's not too far away you see so... asked him if he'd like to pop in so he did... about half eleven. Then I'd er erm a friend come in in the afternoon... and er... can't remember if I had anybody in the evening or not. Er then er S Sun that's Saturday, then Sunday... erm I er... the surgeon wa was coming in about er lunch time, roundabout lunchtime, and I was expecting to go... after that and prior to that, I didn't know she was coming, one of the nuns, it was i I was in the convent
[Joan:] Oh.
[Frederick:] er, I didn't see a nun at, most of them were just ordinary nursing staff, just popped in to see how I was and we had a long chat about
[Joan:] Oh yes.
[Frederick:] various things, you know, work and church and... the country and... it was quite
[Joan:] Putting the worlds to right.
[Frederick:] Mm it was quite good. So er I, time didn't drag at all....
[Joan:] I, I was in when I had a hysterectomy and, but I think I was so ill I was glad really that erm I was on my own then....
[Frederick:] Actually I did not see another patient at all
[Joan:] Well I didn't, I was in
[Frederick:] because
[Joan:] ten days
[Frederick:] Yeah
[Joan:] and I, I never saw... anybody else.... My, my sister- in-law, she w had to go in just before Christmas, had to rather suddenly she's... was diagnosed in the summer as having diverticulitis and they planned a sort of diet out to keep her really well and she was in terrible pain and they rushed her off for a scan... and er she goes privately cos Vernon, I think actually his is BUPA that he's in, he joined when it first came out... and she wrote to me and she said oh I'm, I just feel so lonely, there's nobody to talk to, I've got nobody to see or anything and she felt a bit cos she wasn't really that ill
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] but erm... I think she could've done with a bit of company.
[Frederick:] Yeah erm there are pros and cons aren't there?
[Joan:] local, quite a little way from the hospital.
[Frederick:] Thank you.
[Joan:] She said that also... now her cousin's staying with them so Vernon was trying to take this cousin out to see the... sort of surrounding district er
[Frederick:] Thank you.
[Joan:] a bit so that er they couldn't
[Frederick:] Thank you.
[Joan:] spend all the time with... Wynn.... Thank you dear.
[Vicki:] Are you gonna sort Fred's cushion out then?
[Joan:] Yes it only wants stitching up, I said er really I could sit and do it now but I couldn't be bothered.... That, that sounds mean doesn't it? I [LAUGHTER] just felt I couldn't be bothered to
[Vicki:] Well
[Frederick:] Well there's no problem.
[Joan:] to sit and do it []. Well you, you want me to do it decently.
[Vicki:] Yes.... Have to sort out the covers for these.
[Joan:] Yes. She can't decide what colour to have can you?...
[Vicki:] Well that bluey-green does go.
[Joan:] It does, if you can get anything else to match it.
[Vicki:] Well I'll see if I can get some candles... that colour.... [talking to dog] I can see you! Out of the corner of your eye, yes I can! Yes I can!
[Joan:] You've been since Tasha got married haven't you?
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] Yes.... Well we must have had this cos... when did this come, August? September?
[Vicki:] Ah!
[Joan:] End of, end of September I think....
[Vicki:] End of September, October, no end of September.
[Joan:] Mm.
[Vicki:] For our old age, this is.... The other one was getting a bit low for us. Wasn't it?
[Joan:] Yes.... It wasn't that the springs had gone it was just low when y when you had it wasn't it? Keep still Lucy....
[Vicki:] Oh [LAUGHTER] and, well it must've been since we were at Malton so we'd've had it, what, about four... three or four... years when we went to Malton?
[Joan:] Yo you had it in Slay Drive didn't you? No, not Slay Drive, at er Paddock, The Paddocks.
[Vicki:] No we'd only had it three or four years when we went to Malton... and Pam said then... ooh if ever you get rid of this just let me know, it's just right for me cos she's only short isn't she?
[Joan:] She's only short you see.
[Vicki:] And she said so many chairs are so deep that my legs are dangling, she said whereas this one, it's so comfortable and I can get my feet on the floor. Erm... and it must have been... oh I don't know, two or three years ago... must be at least two or three years ago when we were talking about, umm-ing and ah-ing, and she said well don't forget if ever you want to lose this just let me know. [phone rings] Erm, yes, right, no we... shan't be losing it and of course when we decided, rang her up, oh great, so at last I can have my [LAUGHTER] chair []. [goes to answer phone]
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joan:] Well she was gonna have the three piece suite actually but she lives in a bungalow and of course the settee was a six foot settee which they don't make now
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Joan:] and she found that she couldn't get the settee and the chairs in because, if you remember, they were sort of open armed, they, they were very wide. So anyway she had the er settee and brought a friend with her with a... well I think it was one of these Range Rovers that you can seat erm, you know, about seven and he dropped the seats down and got the settee in, I don't know how he managed it.... Then I think the erm the chairs, Malcolm phoned erm... was it the homeless, was it Shelter, one of those organizations and they came and picked them up. Which, gonna say the chairs, they went to an organization didn't they? It was... Samaritans, no. Can't remember.
[Frederick:] Or Family First?
[Vicki:] Family
[Joan:] Family First. Family First yes.
[Frederick:] Family First.
[Vicki:] Yeah.
[Joan:] They brought a huge van and they were so pleased, these men that came for them.... But these felt so [LAUGHTER] hard didn't it? When we first had it, when we sat on it [].
[Vicki:] But it's not as hard as one that we tried cos we wanted a firm one, she wanted something firm but nice and high. I like it.
[Joan:] It is nice though, yes.
[Vicki:] but it, it is it's firm but not hard hard.
[Joan:] It felt it on the first morning when it came in and I sat on it, I thought well I'm sure it didn't feel like... the one we tried in the shop didn't feel like this but
[Vicki:] And you can just put your head back and close your eyes and that's it.
[Joan:] We tried one yesterday in and Vicki had to pull me out didn't you?...
[Vicki:] Yeah you see, well when we were looking you see so many... and you think ooh that looks nice, ooh that's nice but... some of them are just so... squadgy and... well nice if you, if that's how you want to sit
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Vicki:] in a chair but we felt we wanted erm... something with a bit more support.
[Joan:] It's alright for the young ones. Yes. It's alright when you're young to have a... a sink-into one. Mm.... Think it was last... was it last Monday when I was next door for coffee? I don't know what brought it up, Norah said something about her, is she allowed on the settee now. I said oh goodness yes, that's why they bought a leather one [LAUGHTER] so she could go on it [].
[Vicki:] Well no, it wasn't really!...
[Joan:] He'd got all the er information about it when he came and he said it was the best type of... covering if you've got dogs... or cats....
[Vicki:] She doesn't sit on the settee much does she?
[Joan:] No. I don't know, she does in the morning quite often, she sits
[Vicki:] Sits on her cushion.
[Joan:] Yeah....
[Vicki:] It took a long time before she'd sit in that chair.
[Joan:] But at night time, if you're not in, she sits in the chair waiting
[Vicki:] Mm
[Joan:] with her head up waiting for you.
[Vicki:] Mm. It took a long time before she would sit in there though... didn't it?
[Joan:] Yes....
[Vicki:] Mm mm mm can't you get comfy?... Tt oh dear.
[Joan:] Well she wants to go to sleep but she also wanted to know what is happening.
[Vicki:] Nosy aren't you Luce?...
[Joan:] Her eyes keep going like this... when she heard the noise.... What time is Malcolm due home, seven? Long day isn't it, when he goes at... half past seven in the morning.
[Frederick:] It is. [cough]
[Vicki:] Where will he be now? Auckley... evensong at Auckley....... I should think. Think he was gonna come straight back.... Mm it'll be about... five to half past when he leaves I should think [yawning] by the time he's cleared up [].
[Joan:] As long as the fog doesn't come down again.
[Vicki:] Mm looking a bit misty.... I was wondering whether to go erm... over to Langley after collecting... Heidi.... Half four... there for five... mm... and then get back.
[Joan:] Well want a tow out again when he gets
[Vicki:] Mm that's isn't it?... It looks as though it's stopped raining now.
[Joan:] Mm.
[Vicki:] It was raining quite heavily when er... I took Heidi up.
[Joan:] But then it doesn't seem possible when you think back that it's
[Vicki:] Been and gone.
[Joan:] been and gone and... we're now getting ready for Easter, all these and cards are coming into the shops and
[Frederick:] Yeah....
[Vicki:] Easter eggs are coming into the shops
[Joan:] Mm.
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Vicki:] ads have started for Easter eggs.
[Frederick:] Yeah somebody I... I can't remember who it was, I heard somebody I think on the radio or television talking about the, you know it was the beginning of January and they've already put er hot cross buns [LAUGHTER] in the supermarkets.
[Joan:] Oh yes! Oh where did I see hot cross buns? Oh Marks and Spencers... when I buy those croissants... they'd got hot cross buns on sale.... Cos I, I couldn't find them to start
[Vicki:] When is, when is Easter? March, April?
[Frederick:] April, it's late this year isn't it?
[Vicki:] That's right.
[Joan:] I couldn't see them and I was and you had to walk round the bread shelves twice and they were right on the bottom... shelf when I eventually tracked them down and... they had the hot cross buns on the shelves....
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Joan:] Well they had a lot of erm Christmas stuff left anyway.
[Vicki:] Yes. Cakes and biscuits... tins didn't they? Marks and Sparks when we went.
[Joan:] Yes they'd still got a lot... of those tins left. When did I go in? Wednesday? Tuesday? No when did I go in?
[Vicki:] Probably Wednesday....
[Joan:] They, they'd still got, anyway they'd still got a lot of tinned stuff
[Vicki:] Christmas stuff left, mm. I think they must have over... catered at Christmas time.... Asda don't seem to have much left over do they?
[Joan:] No. Because quite often... erm we've our birthday presents haven't we from the stuff... we see in the sale after, the Christmas stuff... for the girls.
[Vicki:] Oh bought another tin of biscuits or whatever haven't we? Or
[Joan:] Yes.
[Vicki:] Haven't got anything....
[Joan:] And the children's things, have got quite a few for the haven't I? Yeah
[Vicki:] Yeah bits and pieces, yeah.
[Joan:] for the children up there.... Well we went in to Asda this morning... when did we go in,? we couldn't get into and it was empty.... In fact we were undecided whether to stop [LAUGHTER] and do, do tomorrow's shopping weren't we []?
[Vicki:] But we de we did not did we? We
[Joan:] We'd left her in the car actually.
[Vicki:] Yes, because we were on route for... doggy walking weren't we?
[Joan:] Yes.
[Vicki:] But we couldn't, didn't walk too far today, it was so
[Joan:] Well it was so cold and...
[Heidi:] Tt oh!
[Joan:] You tired? Early night tonight.
[Vicki:] You need an early night tonight.
[Joan:] Well you were late on Friday night again to bed.
[Heidi:] [tut] Ten o'clock, that is not late.
[Joan:] It's late for somebody your age. Do you think it is?
[Heidi:] Well...
[Joan:] Fourteen, ten o'clock?...
[Frederick:] Well it's about right, well it certainly wouldn't want to be much later. That's known as a diplomatic answer....
[Vicki:] Are you giving us... a rendition?... Oh. Are you ready?... Could you just go to sleep?... Oh that's a shame, I could. [LAUGHTER]...
[Joan:] I think Heidi would if she was left there ten minutes....
[Vicki:] [singing] Go to sleep my darling close your pretty blue eyes
[Heidi:] Where did you get that from?
[Vicki:] lady moon is watching from out the dark blue sky
[Heidi:] Where did he get it from?
[Vicki:] the little stars are peeping
[Joan:] [singing] stars are peeping []
[Vicki:] to see if you are sleeping []
[Heidi:] I thought they really were you know.
[Vicki:] What, peeping? [LAUGHTER]
[Heidi:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah []
[Vicki:] [singing] Close your eyes my darling [] no [singing] go to sleep []
[Heidi:] I can remember learning that
[Joan:] Oh my mother... erm told me it... so it's been passed
[Vicki:] My mother told me it.... So just you remember it and pass it on, yeah. Right come on then.
[Joan:] That's how a lot of these songs
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] old songs are passed on.... By word of mouth, you don't
[Vicki:] Perhaps perhaps her mother used to sing it to her did she?
[Joan:] Who?
[Vicki:] Your mother's mother used to sing it to her.
[Joan:] Might have done [LAUGHTER] I don't know where she got it from [] I'm sure.... I sang that for [LAUGHTER] hours on end [] to Tasha.
[Heidi:] Yeah it wouldn't work with her....
[Joan:] Not that I can sing but it was er an apology for singing.
[Vicki:] [LAUGHTER] Well perhaps that's why she didn't go to sleep []. [cough] Come on then, let's get you off to [cough]...
[Joan:] to walk... wake her up.
[Vicki:] Hmm! She'd never get there. Come on.
[Frederick:] Oh well I think I'll, I'll be, I'll move my onto the road....
[Vicki:] Oh it's raining.... Was it raining when you came Fred?
[Frederick:] No. Is it now?
[Vicki:] Mm....
[Frederick:] No because I, I... decided I wouldn't put a coat on cos I was coming in the car.... Is that...
[Joan:] Let me er I can I'll get my glasses....
[Frederick:] It's come away from the zip er er I don't know whether it's er...
[Joan:] Oh!
[Frederick:] repairable is it?...
[Joan:] Well that's easy, it only wants sewing up there Fred.
[Frederick:] Oh does it?
[Joan:] Yes, do you want me to do it for you?
[Frederick:] If you would I'd be glad.
[Joan:] Do you want it now or or later?
[Frederick:] No, no no, any time.
[Joan:] Yes, that's simple. Simple. Have you got a zip in?... Oh yes your zip's the other, the other side.
[Frederick:] Ah yeah.
[Joan:] Yes, will do.... It wouldn't take long to do it now but [LAUGHTER] I can't be bothered []
[Frederick:] No don't....
[Joan:] being lazy.... Oh peace after Heidi! Sh she... was it the week, the new year's weekend? She was away at Malcolm's cousin's... from the Sunday till the Wednesday evening... and we hadn't realized how much noise she makes until she came home on the Wednesday evening.
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joan:] Three lovely peaceful days [cough] [LAUGHTER] then she comes in []... peace is shattered, [LAUGHTER] oh dear []. She's so full of life, whereas Tasha could be around and you'd
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] you, you didn't know she was er here, she'd have a book or some
[Frederick:] Yeah....
[Joan:] But the other night when Heidi, when she was practising her song, she's so dramatic all the time going... you know if only she'd do that when she's on the stage... you know put erm action into her singing....
[Frederick:] When's it taking place?...
[Joan:] Erm it's the last Saturday of half term so I should think it's about erm... when's half term? Eighteenth on the Monday I think... so it'll be twenty... erm it's the fifth is it when I, no it won't... it's not as late as that is it... eighteenth, nineteenth, twentieth, twenty one... about the twenty second, something like that.... It's usually the last Saturday of the half term because then she can have them during the week to practise.
[Frederick:] Yeah....
[Joan:] Well the, all the others go on a Saturday but Heidi said she would be in it if she didn't have to go on Saturday, every Saturday, because she goes riding you see at nine o'clock... nine till... four... so er Wendy said oh she'll have her up on a Sunday afternoon... the two or three principals.... And this erm play we went to... in The Haymarket, it was, it was difficult for children to understand but er... the scenery, the way they use the scenery, it was absolutely fantastic, you know, to make the of a desert and a
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] all the satellites hanging down it was very good the way it had all been done in, in that respect but... what I found was the first bit was very boring, [LAUGHTER] I found [] but when it got going a bit it was better but... the whole moral of the story was that nowhere is perfect to live... but it's hard for y [LAUGHTER] young children like this to []
[Frederick:] Yeah. Yeah quite.
[Joan:] to know what it's all about, yeah.
[Frederick:] Quite....
[Joan:] Gosh that was quick...
[Vicki:] Well straight up, Wendy was there so... straight up.
[Joan:] Oh, it makes a change that Wendy's there on time. She's a teacher at the school, you know, Wendy. I don't know whether you've come across her at all. That's how er Heidi started going to her drama classes.
[Frederick:] Er no... I was trying t do you know I can't remember er Mrs 's christian name.
[Vicki:] Irene.
[Frederick:] Irene. Yeah, I know it as well as anything but er er
[Vicki:] At times you just
[Frederick:] er er I don't know why I was thinking about it yesterday for some reason, oh probably because I got erm... the official invite to the er thing on Friday....
[Vicki:] Another cup of coffee Fred?
[Frederick:] Er no thank you.
[Vicki:] Would you like another cup?
[Joan:] No thank you dear.... Is Wendy bringing her back?...
[Vicki:] Er
[Frederick:] Which is Wendy? Wh what's she look like?
[Vicki:] Erm... well I'd say it's curly sort of... oh it's dark hair, curlyish
[Joan:] Mm.
[Vicki:] with glasses.
[Joan:] And she never stops talking.
[Vicki:] Never stops talking. Takes the younger age, reception age er
[Frederick:] What was the name of the... teacher... tended to be on the slim side, longish hair, at the... do at Christmas? She was with the children er er, looking at the stage, to the left.... Forty fiveish, fifty?
[Vicki:] Was she wearing trousers?
[Frederick:] Can't remember.
[Joan:] Kay? She was with the children.
[Frederick:] Don't kn tell me the er if you tell me the
[Vicki:] Kay...
[Frederick:] in fact she s
[Vicki:] Maybe I don't know her.
[Frederick:] she spoke to me as er er as though
[Joan:] No Lucy.
[Frederick:] as though she'd known me, you know, but I couldn't even remember seeing her before.... Don't think it was Kay.
[Vicki:] No, trying to think who else was there....
[Joan:] Well it wouldn't be Heather cos she's dark and short and young....
[Vicki:] Small? No.
[Frederick:] Well
[Vicki:] Small erm
[Frederick:] not
[Vicki:] not particularly small
[Frederick:] Is it er I, I mean I ca I'm
[Joan:] I, I've no idea.
[Frederick:] I would have said she was medium height... slim build, possibly
[Vicki:] It's the only one I can think of that could
[Frederick:] and er...
[Joan:] remember seeing somebody in trousers.
[Vicki:] Yeah Kay, down to about her ears? Yes. That was Kay wasn't it?
[Joan:] I, I don't I don't know Kay.
[Frederick:] Ch what was the surname again? , may have been her.... The funny thing was I was asking Irene who she was because I couldn't remember seeing her and then, later on, she came up to me [LAUGHTER] as though she'd known me, you know []?
[Vicki:] Yeah.... It was very good wasn't it? The er
[Frederick:] Yeah, mm.
[Joan:] And an unusual slant
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] on the story.
[Frederick:] Yeah....
[Vicki:] And then was it er a little while after that Malcolm and I went to see the...
[Joan:] Racing Demons?
[Vicki:] No, the parents' panto
[Joan:] Oh yes. Oh I didn't go. You got me a ticket but I didn't go did I.... A cheese. What was that called?
[Vicki:] Crumple Stilton or something wasn't it? The parents at the school all get together and do a pantomime for the children. Erm... I think they, I think they do that during the day and then in the evening it's on for... anybody else who wants to see that... take-off on cheeses. That was quite good. Yeah we went to see Racing Demons at the beginning of December didn't we?... Cos we went with Margaret and Roger.
[Joan:] Mm I suppose, yes.
[Vicki:] Mm. It was quite... quite good, at the Theatre Royal....
[Frederick:] Oh we got sidetracked er erm about erm tt Blind Date didn't I? [LAUGHTER] I, I said I was sp you were speaking to an expert [] er so we went off at a blind... tangent. But they, they er... I mean you don't have to be too bright to realize that the questions have been given them and the answers have g been given them.
[Joan:] Well somebody, it was Hazel wasn't it?
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Joan:] She erm said well of course they know the questions beforehand and the, the answers are always written out for them... erm... but I, I wouldn't have thought all the answers because some of them come over quite spontaneously.
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah bu yeah, but they are rehearsing for [LAUGHTER] two and a half hours []. They don't see the person... they don't see the er... the they're kept separate but erm the they are... rehearsed. So er,y you know. An an and I could erm... I, I erm her name was Barbara erm... Actually it was rather interesting there a oh have you remembered the name of that club?
[Joan:] No.
[Frederick:] I would know it if you told me.
[Joan:] Well I can see it on
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Frederick:] Yeah. A anyway it doesn't matter. Er but she's a member and we went there for lunch and it was the ideal place, you know, cos there weren't any, many people around and so we had quite a nice lunch... and erm whilst we were there we then had a drink in er in the bar and erm her... the, the secretary of the club, a lady, came to talk to Barbara and she mentioned that she'd seen her on Blind Date you see, and so I got to know more by listening to them two speaking er and er that's where I learnt about er that. Erm...
[Vicki:] Well some of the questions you think erm... you think erm... you know, aren't they a bit well way out or... what made them ask that.
[Joan:] Well I've said all along
[Frederick:] Yeah and so and some of the answers.
[Joan:] how do they think up those answers in such a
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] short time but er
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah yeah.
[Joan:] now we know.... It takes some of the erm... tt... oh what's, what's the word? When er No. When you, when you think that they're racking their brains and it
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] seems far more interesting than knowing that they've rehearsed for hours on end.
[Frederick:] I think sometimes the odd er the odd times people are
[Joan:] Putting a bit more
[Frederick:] Yeah,a and in fact in the programme I... th the one that Barbara was in, I can remember the er, as it happens, I, I was out er when that programme came on and I taped it so I s I, I've still got that particular programme, and the lady at the end... er on one of her questions she'd obviously forgotten what she was going to say er and sort of made something up and er she turned to er as they were just panning away from her, she turned to her next door neighbour and more or less said... I forgot what I was going to say, you know.
[Joan:] Mm.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Joan:] Cos they don't have any notes or anything do they? So
[Frederick:] No, no, no, oh no I mean er...
[Joan:] It's supposed to look natural
[Frederick:] Yes, yes a and erm... oh yes I mean some of the things that, especially the er the more senior people now... th those people on the erm programme last night, did you see it?
[Joan:] Yeah.
[Vicki:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] Yeah,
[Vicki:] Clarence.
[Frederick:] Yeah... er they, they wouldn't have come out with some of the things about er... I can't remember what was said that erm you know er wouldn't mind meeting you in the bath or
[Joan:] Yes or under the shower, yes.
[Frederick:] we w that, that, that s you know that s yeah, that sort of thing erm...
[Joan:] I think they are a bit er...
[Frederick:] Yes.
[Joan:] I suppose that's just
[Frederick:] I mean it, oh yes I mean actually
[Vicki:] Make it lighthearted.
[Frederick:] actually erm the, the er it is a very good, from the television people's point of view, it is an excellent programme because i y people are interested aren't they?
[Joan:] Yes.
[Frederick:] A and furthermore they're interested in, in the way out somebody and that, in fact I think
[Joan:] Looks a little bit different.
[Frederick:] they sometimes manipulate [LAUGHTER] the questions so that the person picks
[Vicki:] To make them
[Frederick:] the right one that they would like to be picked []. Do you know what I mean?
[Vicki:] yeah yeah, could be.
[Frederick:] Erm oh did you, did you see the one with that, it was last week when they came back I think, that naive bloke, lad from Devon?
[Joan:] Oh yes.
[Frederick:] [sigh] Dear oh dear oh dear!
[Vicki:] Was that the one where the girl was a
[Frederick:] Nurse.
[Joan:] A nurse or d yes.
[Vicki:] and she was only a bit older?
[Frederick:] Yeah. That's the one
[Joan:] Yes his
[Frederick:] that's the one.
[Vicki:] He was eighteen and she was nineteen or something
[Joan:] And she kept saying how childish he was.
[Frederick:] Yeah, oh it was predictable that wasn't go to work. He was wasn't he? Very immature....
[Vicki:] How... far... in front of us seeing it is it erm recorded?
[Frederick:] Erm... I think Barbara, I think it was July when she did it.... So that would be, and that would be about either November or December wouldn't it?
[Joan:] Yes....
[Vicki:] Cos I suppose they do so many recordings and then screen them don't they?
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah
[Vicki:] Sort of for the series and then, then there's a break.
[Joan:] Well Cilla Black's one of the highest paid... erm... presenters isn't she? On the television.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Joan:] Esther Rantzen for the B B C and Cilla Black I think on the A T V.
[Frederick:] The erm... did you see the one where... this was er er for the more senior ones again, er about the fifty mark, where the fellow was a hypnotist and... a very nice fella
[Joan:] I can remember now you say hypnotist but I can't remember what happened in the programme but I can remember him.
[Frederick:] and er she was er the one he
[Joan:] Because they were on about, in the answers, about him hypnotizing them, one of them was especially.
[Frederick:] Oh, and the, the trip they had was to er... the Middle East, erm... in the desert
[Joan:] I didn't see that.
[Frederick:] Oh you didn't see it? Ah. Oh well er what I was going to say is that er... I thought I'd summed the person up that he'd selected and I, I thought oh she i er it's not gonna be easy for him, and it wasn't, you know, she was a bit of a... bit of a so and so I think really.... Full of her own importance, you know?
[Joan:] Yeah.
[Vicki:] I often wonder if, when they've selected... a person say right, I'll choose number three, when number one goes by and number two goes by afterwards if they think oh you know, no, I would have preferred number two.
[Frederick:] Oh they would, I'm sure a lot of that's done.
[Vicki:] Well do they
[Joan:] Wonder if they have a, a, a chance of meeting up with them.
[Vicki:] afterwards.
[Frederick:] Well I heard, I, I wondered about that, and... erm I think they must have contact because... erm one of them who came back... bearing in mind there must be a, a, a, about a three month gap, had had a proposal from one of the persons
[Vicki:] One of the others.
[Frederick:] who er she didn't pick.
[Joan:] Oh.... Mm....
[Vicki:] But sometimes you can see ooh that one and that one who just go together and they don't choose each other
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah.
[Vicki:] and then when they
[Joan:] And you're sitting here going oh choose so and so, you choose him [LAUGHTER] don't you []?
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[Vicki:] Yeah
[Frederick:] But, but from the programme producer's point of view, I should think he, he doesn't want too many that are okay, he wants the er
[Vicki:] But it would be nice to get
[Frederick:] Yeah yeah, yeah.
[Joan:] I mean just lately they seem to... they really slang each other don't they?
[Frederick:] Mm, mm.
[Vicki:] I of er, was it last week erm, yeah it must have been where the... the coloured lad
[Joan:] Yes.
[Vicki:] cos he was back last night wasn't he? Two white lads and a coloured one and er it was a white girl and I often wonder if that's a good idea... er whether they should all be the same colour.
[Joan:] Oh I think so because it must be an awful shock... for the girl to... go round the screen and they're faced with a coloured... although they don't bother so much these days do they?
[Vicki:] No. She said he wasn't ugly enough didn't she?
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER] Yeah.
[Joan:] But a few... well I was gonna say a few weeks ago, it might be longer than that, there was that very... large coloured girl that was on
[Frederick:] That's a few years ago, never mind a few months.
[Joan:] No er [LAUGHTER] there was one [] not so very... I'm sure not so ve not, not years ago but it was
[Frederick:] Yo do you there was one... very bonny lass and she was on the er, they, they had erm... composite programme the other... the other week and she was on that again.
[Joan:] Oh is that where I saw her?
[Frederick:] Maybe.
[Joan:] I mean fancy being erm confronted with somebody like... like that.
[Frederick:] And in and actually in that programme it was a Nottingham fella who er [LAUGHTER] was confronted with her []
[Joan:] Was it?
[Frederick:] Yeah. So, yeah, she's a real extrovert.
[Joan:] And then there's that er one who was a pu
[Vicki:] That was a little while ago, that was big
[Joan:] she was big but she was wasn't coloured was she?
[Vicki:] No, but she ran a pub or something
[Joan:] So she was. Somewhere, yes.
[Vicki:] managed a pub and she was all... all over.... Yeah.
[Joan:] But one, one of the coloured chaps where Tasha works said he was... he'd been to one of these Blind Dates, he was on but we haven't come across him yet have we?...
[Vicki:] But he only said that a little while ago didn't he? So if there's a three month
[Joan:] Yes, he might be
[Vicki:] gap....
[Frederick:] Actually erm... Barbara took, went with her niece to, for the audition and er what I'm not sure of,a a and [LAUGHTER] Barbara got on and her niece didn't, what I'm not sure is whether, when she went down, she was thinking that, of sort of er an audition for herself or whether they approached her because apparently they, they don't get too many of the senior people.
[Joan:] Oh.... No it's, it's not often really that you get a... senior
[Frederick:] In fact Barbara was saying to me er [LAUGHTER] wh why don't you [] er but it's not the thing that I'd want to do....
[Vicki:] Nice to have them now and again.... Mm...
[Joan:] Did you see erm Wendy?
[Vicki:] No she, I think she was coming in and out cos the car door was open.
[Joan:] So you don't know what time Heidi's
[Vicki:] Half past four.
[Joan:] Half past four. Oh she's
[Vicki:] And erm
[Joan:] late this week is she?
[Vicki:] Well she was only early... was it last week or the week before? Whenever she was early because there was a christening erm on and they were using the hall afterwards. And you know the door they go in
[Joan:] Mm.
[Vicki:] to er... that little side door? Well there were all blue and white balloons hanging up in the hall and by the door just these rows and rows of blue balloons and the door opens outwards
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Vicki:] and Wendy was saying how was she going to get the door open without all these balloons
[Joan:] Going.
[Vicki:] coming out, yeah....
[Joan:] So no doubt it was a boy... that was being christened.
[Vicki:] I would think so, blue, yeah. So they decided that once the... christening party was in the hall which was gonna be three o'clock, they didn't stand much chance of erm
[Joan:] Doing anything.
[Vicki:] No, so that's why they had it two till three that... day. But it's now back to half past two till half past four and whoever's playing the dame arrived just in front of us
[Joan:] Oh.
[Vicki:] so he's there.... Tt what did Malcolm say? It was five... five weeks, four weeks on Friday till half term?
[Joan:] Mm.
[Vicki:] Four weeks on Friday, that's all she's got to...
[Joan:] Yeah
[Vicki:] sort it out....
[Joan:] Oh if I go into town... perhaps Tuesday... to get her tape... try to get her tape
[Vicki:] Well she said it's in H V M.
[Joan:] erm... I'll perhaps give... Wind, what are they called? Windblowers a ring and see if they've got
[Vicki:] For the music.
[Joan:] Mm.... I could actually tomorrow to see if it's in the library couldn't I?
[Vicki:] Mm and then just photocopy it.
[Joan:] Oh you're not allowed to are you?
[Vicki:] Well they won't know will they?
[Joan:] Oh well yeah I'd have to bring it home to have it done.... Breaking the law, isn't it?
[Vicki:] Well I think it's only if you... want to do er... you know like doing it for some, something or other isn't it?...
[Joan:] No when used to get music for the Women's Own choir to do for Mothering Sunday, she used to say keep quiet where you got the copy from.
[Vicki:] Mm, I think it's when you want a lot.
[Joan:] Or say if you've got a... ten or eleven running off.... Anyway I'll go in and steal it.... We walked past that place didn't we?
[Vicki:] H V M?
[Joan:] Mm.
[Vicki:] We were on our way down to... but we weren't actually sure
[Joan:] What it was called.
[Vicki:] Mm, so it wouldn't have been any good going in.
[Joan:] Although you'd of probably recognized it.
[Vicki:] Well I said I thought it was called Seriously Orchestral.
[Joan:] Well that's what it is isn't it?
[Vicki:] Mm.... Were you buying this erm newspaper last week by any chance?
[Joan:] Oh!
[Frederick:] Why?
[Vicki:] Get to France for a pound.
[Frederick:] Oh yes I saw it on the er box, mm.
[Joan:] She's keeping, keep the coupons for Malcolm to send off haven't you?
[Vicki:] You collect er well all you've really gotta do is buy the paper Monday to Friday... collect four coupons
[Joan:] Is that empty?
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Joan:] better move it.
[Vicki:] Collect four coupons and each... set of coupons allows you to claim up to four tickets and... it was a pound a ticket wasn't it?
[Joan:] Mm.
[Vicki:] A pound a ticket, and you could go, there were three routes you could go... and any time up to March the twenty eighth
[Frederick:] Oh.
[Vicki:] and that was your fare from, you could go, Dover to... Calais
[Joan:] Mm.
[Vicki:] Newhaven to Dieppe or...
[Joan:] Dunno what the other one was.
[Vicki:] way down, was it Southampton somewhere? and that was your... ferry fare over for the day.... So erm we thought we might go for a day didn't we?
[Joan:] Might do yes, the end of March.... He'd, I think he would have liked to have gone the four hour trip [LAUGHTER] over []... I didn't think you'd like that.
[Vicki:] Well that one was the most restrictive because that you had to go, you could go any time between... was it eight and eleven in the morning, but you could only come back either something like... quarter to five, quarter to, no quarter to six was it? Or quarter to two in the morning, there were only two you could come back on. Whereas... the Dover to Calais you can go any time between this time and that time and come back any time between this time and... that time.
[Frederick:] Yeah. Yeah.
[Vicki:] But going to... Dieppe it docks on the quay or whatever is sort of right in the heart of erm the town so once you are off the ferry, you're there. Well I suppose it depends what you... want to go for.
[Joan:] Well he, he was asking me which I'd prefer and I said... I think you ought to consider Vicki not me... on the crossing.
[Vicki:] Well if you go... if you stay till quarter to one in the morning how can you be sure there's gonna be anything open to
[Joan:] To do. Well that's it.
[Vicki:] to do. So therefore if you come back
[Joan:] Paris nightclub.
[Vicki:] if you could come back before
[Joan:] Stripping club.
[Vicki:] if you come back on the one before you've only got about three and a half hours so you've got four hours on the ferry, three and a half there and then four hours back again haven't you? Anyway we'll see what
[Joan:] Well Vicki's not very keen on crossing the water are you?
[Vicki:] No.
[Joan:] So I thought the shorter journey would be... better.
[Vicki:] And if we don't go we've only lost a pound ticket.... So we'll see.
[Joan:] snow... that day.
[Vicki:] [LAUGHTER]... Well I think they're going to repeat the offer aren't they? They're supposed to be doing it again....
[Joan:] Well we, at the erm school play we were talking to, who did you say, Mr?
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Joan:] And he was telling, you know erm... it was the er Christmas thing, he was t saying he'd been to France on a cheap ticket hadn't he?
[Vicki:] Through the Daily Ma oh Express.
[Joan:] The Express wasn't it? Or The Mail?
[Vicki:] Daily Express.
[Joan:] It was one of the better papers. I mean The Sun is absolutely... [LAUGHTER] I mean []... I did tr have a go at reading the first one and I thought well I can't read this trash any longer, think I read two pages.
[Vicki:] Yes what did he, how much did it cost him? Fifteen pounds did he say?...
[Joan:] they had, they went for... the weekend didn't they?... No not for the, I don't think they went for the day.
[Vicki:] Think it was.
[Joan:] Was it?...
[Vicki:] Thought he said it was a day. But they, they sailed sort of first thing in the morning and didn't come back till last thing at
[Joan:] Night.
[Vicki:] night. Thought it was only a day, and they were talking to somebody else on the ferry who said they did this trip every year didn't they? And what good value it was, it was only costing them... hundred and...
[Joan:] Well I really can't remember the figures.
[Vicki:] oh I thought he said a hundred and something pounds didn't he?
[Joan:] Mm.
[Vicki:] And it had cost them about fifteen or something. Mr said he didn't have the heart to tell them how, you might think it's good value but he didn't when he'd only paid fifteen pounds fifty a ticket.... Have you got any more ideas for holidays or?...
[Frederick:] Not erm I've sort of got several things that I'd like to do
[Vicki:] In your mind that you'd like to do.
[Frederick:] I'm ever so disappointed that I've not been to Yugoslavia, I wanted to go to Dubrovnik, you know, it's been on the sort of list but I've never got round to it.
[Joan:] It's a bit late now till things are sorted out.
[Frederick:] Yeah I'm afraid afraid so, and of course it's been damaged anyway now.... Egypt... er... is on my list.
[Vicki:] Oh up the Nile? [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Joan:] Mind you don't get in with the Carry On crew.
[Frederick:] Erm... yes there er, there are... I was talking to er... tt do you know June? She's... she's about my age I should think and she sometimes, once a month she does the coffee... wears glasses
[Joan:] I'd perhaps recognize, yes tell by
[Frederick:] anyw anyway erm I was talking to her on the bus not too long ago and, I don't know how it came up but she was talking about Egypt, and er she'd been apparently oh some... a year or two back cos she did a, an evening course on Egyptology and she went through that, but she was telling me about a friend or friends of hers who'd been er and told me about the trip. Erm then she put, he had done a newsletter to his friends which is beautifully done er and had sent her one and so she put it through my door so it was quite interesting. On that holiday they er... they'd also been to Cairo as well as, and I mean some of the erm... trips erm are... they go to Luxor and you board a erm er the ship from Luxor to Aswan... and you don't get to Cairo and I think if you're going to Egypt you really want to go to Cairo as well as.
[Joan:] Oh yes, certainly....
[Frederick:] Er you know I, I, it's, it's on my list.
[Joan:] It's mulling around up there.
[Frederick:] Now if you want to know what I'd like, which holiday I'd like and I probably will never do it, mind you I ne I need the person to go with because definitely you need a person to go with, I'd love to go on the Orient Express.
[Vicki:] You know I was wai I thought oh I wonder if it'll be the Orient Express, yeah. Mm on the train.
[Frederick:] But er yeah... erm... but you er but it's so expensive... erm to do it properly
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Frederick:] er to go right the way through to Venice and you've got to stay at Venice for at least a couple of days so oh and it, er, I think er, you're talking about two thousand at least just for that four days, you know?
[Vicki:] Mm.
[Frederick:] [sigh] So
[Joan:] do that when we go, we shan't go that way to Venice when we go shall we?
[Frederick:] So it's the sort of thing where if somebody said to me right
[Vicki:] You can have whatever holiday you like
[Frederick:] No, no, no, no... you could only do that, I want you to go on the Orient Express, yes. If they said you can go anywhere you like it would, that would cause... I would, I would... have difficulty deciding.
[Vicki:] Be debating which yeah.
[Frederick:] Yeah I've got another trip which I saw on telly, again which I shall never do I think, er which sounded pretty good, you flew, flew to er
[Vicki:] [sneeze] Oh pardon me.
[Frederick:] Calgary, took a train over the Rockies to Vancouver and then a cruise ship up to Alaska and, and back via Vancouver and you saw the erm ice floes er dropping off and er er seals and that, dolphins and that and it looked pretty good. But then you flew back from Calgary I think or it may have been Vancouver. Now that was er...
[Vicki:] That looked worthwhile.
[Frederick:] That was about fifteen hundred two or three years ago so that'll be two thousand at least.
[Vicki:] A lot of money when you think it's just for, a holiday's just for, you know, short times.
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah.... Yes I mean er when I s er you know when I was on the Q E Two and was chatting with a fella... and er... he, they'd been, he'd obviously been cruising before and was on this cruise and er they were going on the er another Cunard ship a few months later, and it turned out that he was a hotelier who'd bought a hotel in Swanage some years ago, I think he'd had about seven bedrooms when he bought it and he gradually extended it, I forget how many he did tell me, and then he had a bit of a heart er... attack and er his doctor told him to, you know, well if I were you I'd just pack in your job which he did and that was about fifteen years ago he was... I dunno if he was eighty or he was approaching eighty if he wasn't and was in pretty good form, he was dancing, and er, you know, I mean there money's no object. Er the er the lady... he was a widower and his, er his f er he was with a lady who was a widow and erm I know for a fact that she'd not spent a penny, she hadn't p you know for a you know, of the trip or, or... he just wouldn't let her, I mean, I mean you, you've got to have some money haven't you to to keep to keep going like that?...
[Vicki:] Hmm. Well I'll have to keep doing these pools.
[Joan:] That's right.... Well I keep sending these coupons off that come through the door
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Joan:] en entering competitions but [LAUGHTER] I don't get anything [].
[Yvonne:] How are you?
[Frederick:] I'm alright.
[Yvonne:] Good....
[Frederick:] Have we got a physio in?
[Yvonne:] No. [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] [whispering] No []!... Er not, it's not serious, I, I'd just like some independent er... er info, you know?
[Yvonne:] Yes, yes.
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Yvonne:] Er no we often don't have anybody in er physio. Does your hand hurt? Are you not happy about it?...
[Frederick:] Well I still
[Yvonne:] It's still solid isn't it?
[Frederick:] I still, I s it's still swollen and I still haven't got my full grip, I'm seeing the surgeon again today
[Yvonne:] Mm.
[Frederick:] but er I'm having physio er privately you know on, on the thing
[Yvonne:] Mm.
[Frederick:] but I'm, I'm rapidly running out of the allowance erm... she appears to be... satisfied
[Yvonne:] Right.
[Frederick:] but obviously [LAUGHTER] I, I'd like somebody else's opinion really
[Yvonne:] Yes, yes.
[Frederick:] and I'm seeing the surgeon today and erm... and I met somebody the other day who'd had it done and his fingers weren't affected, you know, so I mean it's just the luck of the draw I think. However... I thought well I'm, I'm er
[Yvonne:] Mind you it does look better than when I saw it last.
[Frederick:] Oh yes it is.
[Yvonne:] Isn't it?
[Frederick:] Oh it is, it is, oh it is
[Yvonne:] Yeah it's improving, yeah.
[Frederick:] it's not er although the, the inflammation... it was not good at the weekend.
[Yvonne:] Oh. Perhaps you're doing too much Fred and not resting it.
[Frederick:] Say again?
[Yvonne:] You're doing too much, you're not resting it. [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] Well no I'm not I mean this is it erm you don't know er how much to do
[Yvonne:] No.
[Frederick:] and how much not to do really. Oh.
[Yvonne:] Oh right... hope the surgeon might be able to provide you with
[Frederick:] Mm well... I, I mean really I want him to tell me... I mean she implies that I'm gonna get, you know, back... fully back to normal but... I... I'm beginning to wonder myself
[Yvonne:] Mm.
[Frederick:] er I, I mean I really can't doubt her but erm, you know, you, how you have hunches.
[Yvonne:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] I feel as though I'm on a plateau at the moment although sh sh when I said that she said well... i it is getting better so the
[Yvonne:] There's a physio. [shouting] Trish []... I've got a patient for you Trish if you've got five minutes to spare please. [LAUGHTER]
[Trish:] Oh dear.
[Frederick:] Er he's ever such a nice patient though
[Yvonne:] It's not serious.
[Trish:] Oh great!
[Frederick:] he's ever such a nice patient. You didn't have the pleasure of meeting him when he used to work here.
[Yvonne:] [LAUGHTER] This is Fred, he used to, he used to work in
[Frederick:] Hello. contracture.
[Trish:] Is that what you've got?
[Frederick:] Opera no, I've had it.
[Yvonne:] He's had an operation.
[Frederick:] Mm. No no, I won't say that. Operation the sixth of December... on the little finger... er and my other fingers swelled up
[Trish:] Mm.
[Frederick:] and are still not down.... Really what I'm wanting you to tell me is how normal is that and
[Trish:] [sigh] To be honest I'm not, I erm... not quite sure really. I mean have, have you been back to, to, to clinic following
[Frederick:] Oh yeah yeah yeah. Well I had it done on the insurance you know
[Trish:] Right yeah.
[Frederick:] so I'm seeing the surgeon again today
[Trish:] Are you? You
[Frederick:] but of course he's the one who's done it
[Trish:] Mm.
[Frederick:] so even if he sort of made a, a bodge, I'm not suggesting he has [LAUGHTER] he's not likely to, to [] say yes that's because of that.
[Trish:] So is the finger better then? I mean
[Frederick:] Well... erm it, oh well I mean it is better in as much as it was sticking out like that
[Trish:] Mm.
[Frederick:] and I can [LAUGHTER] whereas I [] couldn't get a glove on now I can now.
[Trish:] Right.
[Frederick:] I haven't got all that much movement.
[Trish:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] Well you know I mean it's not too bad I suppose.
[Trish:] No I'd just be, I mean I must admit I've, I've not really seen one for years and years and years. You get quite sort of specialized. I think
[Frederick:] Yeah quite.
[Trish:] undoubtedly I think you need to ask him, you know, that erm just say to him that you're very concerned about the fingers
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah.
[Trish:] and, you know, what can, what can do about it.
[Frederick:] Now the physio, I'm I'm having the, I'm having physio
[Trish:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] and I was just saying to Yvonne er I'm rapidly running out of my physio allowance, you know, because of the amount that
[Trish:] Yes, yeah, yeah perhaps you're not
[Frederick:] she's doing erm and she seems to imply that er it will get back to normal but, you know, I... I just, I'm not er happy about that myself.
[Trish:] Well I would have thought so but really erm I think you just need to sort of
[Frederick:] I, I, I mean it really has been swollen and er inflamed
[Trish:] So it's down a bit?
[Frederick:] Oh yes.
[Trish:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] Oh yes, yes yes yes. Oh yes and I had er pressure sores, you know?
[Trish:] Mm. Yeah, no I think you just need to be frank with him and you know say... you're happy about the finger, fine, but just, you know,
[Frederick:] I'm more concerned about these
[Trish:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] because these were okay [LAUGHTER]
[Trish:] Right
[Frederick:] than, than this.
[Trish:] Yeah, well no I would be direct with him and say, you know
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Trish:] you're really worried about these
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Trish:] and, and just see, sort of see what, what he says really
[Frederick:] Mm.
[Trish:] and if you're having physio that's, that's good but like you say
[Frederick:] No I mean I, I don't know how much. It, the bill was hundred and thirty eight quid last month... and it'll be more than that this month and I think my yearly allowance is about three hundred, you know, so I'm rapidly running out.... Anyway thanks for your, no no
[Trish:] Sorry I can't really sort of say I must admit I couldn't really see why they should be like that really cos I mean it is a bit puzzling cos if they've only just done anything, they've only been tampering with this finger so
[Frederick:] The, the, the the other thing er I, I have the feeling in this finger of, not pins and needles, but just a slight difference he's obviously cut some nerves I should imagine. But er you know I'm, as I say, I'm more concerned about those...
[Trish:] How annoying. But I must admit I haven't seen an I haven't seen, you know it's years well it'll be years
[Frederick:] You see what what I'm up against is, I mean the physio who, who, I mean she's private of course
[Trish:] Mm.
[Frederick:] she is one wanting er referrals from Mr so she's not going to say oh well you know there's something wrong there, you know?
[Trish:] Mm.
[Frederick:] Is she?
[Trish:] No.
[Frederick:] You see. Er er and er... I'm not saying that there is necessarily, but even if there was she's not going to because she wants to preserve her, her referrals. Don't want me
[Trish:] Well I'd just say you're really worried about these fingers
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Trish:] and that, you know, and you just say, you know... you know, what, what are you [LAUGHTER] gonna do about this []
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Trish:] you know, should it, should it actually be like
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Trish:] Then if you get some answers then you can always say to him well this is what, you know, this is what
[Frederick:] Yeah well I mean I saw him what, either a fortnight or three weeks ago, three, probably about three weeks, and at that stage my plaster that I'd had on after the er op had only been off perhaps a fortnight, it was Christmas intervening you see, so he had every sort of right to say, you know, oh well yeah... it should be okay, yeah.
[Trish:] Think the only thing you can do is as I say be honest and say that, you know, you're very worried about your fingers
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah.
[Trish:] I know it's not a lot of help but erm
[Frederick:] No well you, you
[Trish:] I'm, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't be able to say whether it was or not so
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah, well that, that's fine, that's all I wanted to know, I'm pleased you popped in,i it
[Trish:] [LAUGHTER] Sorry []
[Frederick:] yes but i it's sort of erm
[Trish:] Even if it's only to give you the confidence you know
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Trish:] to sort of
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Trish:] It's awful I, I'm the same if I'm going to see a doctor, I think ooh
[Frederick:] Well when you've got
[Trish:] you forget what you were going to ask
[Frederick:] Yes but when you've been, when you've been in the work as I have over many years with doctors, I was a mental welfare officer so I mean I know... er, you know, you can be fobbed off.
[Trish:] That's right. No go for it. [LAUGHTER]...
[Frederick:] Right.
[Trish:] [LAUGHTER] Well I hope it is but they're not good are they?
[Frederick:] Well if that,th Yes I'm, yeah, yeah I mean I can drive
[Trish:] But that's it?
[Frederick:] er but I haven't got, I haven't got a grip.... Thanks very much.
[Trish:] get sorted out
[Frederick:] Thanks. Cheers.
[Trish:] Okay, bye....
[Frederick:] Oh well that was useful....
[Yvonne:] ...
[Frederick:] ... Is Eileen in?
[speaker005:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] Could I get... I'd like to get an Irish accent on the... [LAUGHTER] Where would she be?
[speaker005:] I'll er go and counsel Yvonne where she is and see if she's
[Frederick:] Tell her, yes, yes.... They said to me now do you know anybody who's got a clear accent or anything like that so I thought yes, I'll er, I'll, I'll pop in.
[Eileen:] [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] Well
[Eileen:] [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] Are you making me a coffee then?
[Eileen:] Oh yeah,
[Frederick:] yeah do you want to read that? Can you read?
[Eileen:] Yeah....
[Frederick:] It's er improving.
[Eileen:] Oh it is. It's taking it's time though isn't it?
[Frederick:] Yes it's, oh look at that, it's gone purple.
[Eileen:] Yeah. Are you using it?
[Frederick:] I'm doing my best.
[Eileen:] You should bring it down like that.
[Frederick:] Oh! Ah! I, I know!
[Eileen:] That's where it should be.
[Frederick:] Yes, look, yes. I wish I could.
[Eileen:] Yeah, John's got one.
[Frederick:] I wish I could.
[Eileen:] He cut his. He got hurt in an accident.
[speaker005:] Yeah?
[Eileen:] And th th th the tendons had to be... brought together somehow is it?...
[Frederick:] Yeah er do does
[Eileen:] Then th they go back.
[Frederick:] has he got his grip back?
[Eileen:] Er no, not altogether
[Frederick:] Oh.
[Eileen:] but I mean his, his, his was an accident.
[Frederick:] Yeah. Yeah. Well I think, I think this is
[Eileen:] He, he
[Frederick:] an accident actually. [LAUGHTER]
[Eileen:] He couldn't er er... you know
[Frederick:] Yeah.
[Eileen:] it was just like that.
[Frederick:] Yeah. Yeah well I can't, I can't get any further than that.
[Eileen:] No. Well, well you, you might be able to do though. Don't you go for physio?
[Frederick:] I do.... Er I was saying that
[Eileen:] But do you do you practise it at home?
[Frederick:] I do indeed.
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eileen:] You wanna get, get the mop going Fred.... Start mopping.... Get your grip on it.... See you'll get... Is there anybody else on the scene?... No, nobody at all.
[Frederick:] Well I, I, you know, I have my friends, you know. I'm not without friends.
[Eileen:] You didn't fancy Doreen then?
[Frederick:] Has she replaced somebody?
[Eileen:] Temp, yeah
[Frederick:] Oh, temp.
[Eileen:] when you were here.
[Frederick:] Yeah. yeah. Yeah. Yeah....
[Eileen:] Did Doreen discover?
[speaker005:] No, oh isn't she up there?
[Eileen:] Oh
[Frederick:] [whispering] []
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eileen:] Yes Fred, any time,
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[Eileen:] come on [clapping]
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER] Oh dear []. She...
[speaker005:] It is leap year Eileen but there's no need to go mad. [LAUGHTER] Oh dear.
[Frederick:] You don't beat about the bush do you?
[Eileen:] No!
[Frederick:] No, no. Subtle. Very subtle.
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] Am I coming in or are you bringing it?
[Eileen:] I'll bring them, you
[speaker005:] I'll just bring your microphone in....
[Group Of Unknown Speakers:] ...
[Eileen:] have you?
[Frederick:] Pardon?
[Eileen:] ... You're tap dance.
[Frederick:] I can tap, no I can ballroom dance though.
[speaker005:] No, different sort of thing altogether. [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] It looks as though she's doing Scottish dancing, do you do Scottish dancing?
[speaker005:] No.
[Eileen:] Or the Irish jig....
[Frederick:] Can you do the Irish jig?
[speaker005:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] Are, are you bringing it then?
[Eileen:] ...
[Frederick:] How did the er... Christmas do go?
[Yvonne:] Er a alright I think Fred, I didn't go... position it was in but erm well Margaret said she enjoyed it but she said it wasn't the music was too loud.
[Frederick:] Oh I'm glad I wasn't there then.
[Yvonne:] You couldn't have a discussion
[Frederick:] Yeah well that's why I didn't go before. That's why I, that's why I didn't go and that was why it was
[Yvonne:] I mean I like dancing and music but I like to have a chat with, I can't, I can't be bothered if I can't chat properly because you can't hear yourself
[Eileen:] She says er
[Frederick:] Whoops
[Eileen:] she says do you mean it?
[Frederick:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker005:] [LAUGHTER] [phone rings]
[Yvonne:] [phonecall starts]...
[Frederick:] No I mean there is a limit
[Eileen:] Where?
[Frederick:] below which I... age-wise below which I
[Eileen:] Sh there's no such thing as a limit with age.
[Frederick:] There is.
[Eileen:] Twenty years is nothing now is it?
[Frederick:] Twenty, she's more than she's more than twenty years younger than me.
[Yvonne:] Right.... Okay.... Okay right. Yes, okay, bye [phonecall ends]
[Eileen:] a dolly bird...
[Frederick:] Well I've had them in my time as you know.
[Yvonne:] Have you Fred?
[Eileen:] You've had them in your time, yeah. I know you have.
[Yvonne:] Erm information on the door... I'll tell you what it is, sandwiches.
[speaker005:] Sandwiches?
[Yvonne:] You can now ring up, save your legs going to
[speaker005:] Oh can you? This, oh here?
[Yvonne:] Yes....
[speaker005:] Who's doing this?
[Yvonne:] I don't know, it just came through the post this morning.
[Frederick:] Oh that's a good idea isn't it?
[Yvonne:] [cough] Mm.
[speaker005:] I wonder if it's that one up beside Asda because when I've gone in before she's said to me you know if you rang them through I'd have them ready for you or
[Eileen:] Oh. Could be.
[speaker005:] So it could possibly be that one. That one just... where the warehouse is.
[Yvonne:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] Is it?
[Eileen:] No it's not
[Frederick:] Oh. Oh isn't, isn't, isn't she a... isn't she a... she, she's very subtle
[speaker005:] She's [LAUGHTER] Eileen isn't she []?
[Frederick:] she's really subtle, yes.
[speaker005:] Wouldn't want you any other way Eileen, we like you to be subtle. [LAUGHTER]
[Eileen:] Is Ronnie here? Is Ronnie here?
[Yvonne:] I don't know.
[Eileen:] Is Ronnie here?
[Yvonne:] I've only just come in.
[Frederick:] What have you been doing to him?
[Yvonne:] Too right! We both
[Eileen:] Well he c it took him all morning, how long would it have taken me? Taken my morning's away wouldn't it?
[Yvonne:] Yeah. He had his group in on Tuesday and he left all the pots out in the kitchen
[Eileen:] Yeah and er never washed them up, I know. He could never wash a cup up because they were all on the draining board.
[Yvonne:] They were everywhere, and the pots out on the side as well.
[Eileen:] Yeah.... So I er when I said it to him, on top I made a good job I says. So that
[Yvonne:] I know.
[Eileen:] Oh really, you know? I thought to myself you can do the cookers, I'm not shifting it. That's why I did the... So Fred you've? where are you going now?
[Frederick:] Home.
[Eileen:] Have you done your shopping?
[Frederick:] No I've come in for physio actually. I've just been to the physio before I came here.... And I've seen Trish, fortunately, I was hoping one of the physios would be in
[Eileen:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] so... had the opportunity of having a chat with her.
[Eileen:] Did she give you a...
[Frederick:] Well yes er she really confirmed er... she seemed as concerned as I was didn't she?
[Yvonne:] I thought so Fred, yes.
[Frederick:] Yeah....
[Yvonne:] Right I'm gonna make a drink, does everyone want one?
[speaker005:] Yeah thank you.
[Eileen:] It's time I was away Fred.
[Frederick:] What time do you finish?
[Eileen:] Quarter past.
[Frederick:] Do you really?
[Eileen:] Yeah.
[Yvonne:] Eleven, Eileen.
[Eileen:] [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] Oh dear oh dear. Why do fall for it every time I'm here?
[Eileen:] [LAUGHTER] I do, I do [] [LAUGHTER] I'm here at ten past seven most mornings now.... have to wait twenty five to eight before he'd come in, how he was coming here at that time I don't know. on top of you, especially Yvonne when she's on this week.
[speaker005:] [yawn]...
[Frederick:] And how's, and how's, how?
[Eileen:] It's finished. It's finished.
[Frederick:] What, the whole thing's finished?
[speaker005:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] Has it really? Oh I, I don't know whether you can answer this one, do you know if Angela is still at Metropolitan Housing?... You don't, no, I don't suppose you would, have to ask Martin....
[Eileen:] Why do you want to get a house off her?...
[Yvonne:] Yes they er they did take Avenue over, there were some negotiations
[Frederick:] Could of. Oh.
[Eileen:] They slept overnight and left the place in a mess.
[Yvonne:] It's in the sort of a housing trust, I can't remember what it is
[Frederick:] Well Metropolitan. Er th actually it's Angela... who used to, that's what reminded me, Angela, I think it's Metropolitan
[Yvonne:] Did she used to come to the housing, to the meetings?
[Frederick:] She i she did.
[Yvonne:] Oh well it's not that name now Fred.
[Frederick:] Oh.
[Yvonne:] I can't remember her name but it's not Angela
[Frederick:] Oh.
[Yvonne:] the er the lady that comes to the meetings cos I've been going to them.
[Frederick:] Oh.
[Yvonne:] But er, no there's no, there's no more training or anything done there. but it was such a lot and we used to
[Frederick:] Yeah, yeah. Oh it was, I mean well right from the start it was, it was not the most sensible place to er have a group erm
[Yvonne:] No.
[Frederick:] I mean to start as a group home, well I mean it, of all the places, A it's not like an ordinary home
[Yvonne:] No.
[Frederick:] too big
[Yvonne:] Yes, that's right.
[Frederick:] and B erm the area in which it was placed is not good at all.
[Yvonne:] That's right. See M er Martin tried to get it used as... people use it for meeting rooms and things but er you see you can't park either can you?
[Frederick:] No, no.
[Yvonne:] And people wanted to be near a park.
[Frederick:] Erm erm erm but, [LAUGHTER] yeah [] and people er... have great areas of that taken.
[Eileen:] I'll see you then.
[Frederick:] No I w are you, you do don't suppose you're, well still I can use my pass can't I?
[Eileen:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] Are you, are you going down?
[Eileen:] Yeah.
[Frederick:] I, I'll... well what about this, I, I, will you pick this up later?
[Eileen:] Yvonne will
[Frederick:] I'm not gonna let Yvonne not gonna let Yvonne I'm not gonna let Yvonne touch it, I'm gonna let the cleaner deal with it when she comes in.
[Eileen:] [LAUGHTER]
[Frederick:] Right see you then.
[Yvonne:] Yeah, hope you get on alright with Mr
[Frederick:] Okay thanks. Tarrah.
[Yvonne:] Bye....