[Frances:] Just talk like what you've been doing at school and things like that. What've you got Brett?
[Brett:] Pen.
[Frances:] A pen haven't you. What are all these
[Francis:] look like?
[Frances:] What did she look like?... television it's not be is it?
[Francis:] Pretending it's Friday.
[Frances:] You're pretending it's Friday are you? Yes we're not gonna forget to sing happy birthday today are you?
[Francis:] No.
[Frances:] When he come in and give him a big kiss. Can somebody please go and watch Chloe a minute? What? Er if you don't stop eating those biscuits there'll be trouble. Go on. Go and see Chloe.... What you drawing Kaley?
[Kaley:] No I'm writing the date.
[Frances:] You're writing the date. Are you writing Friday then or Thursday?
[Kaley:] No more cake Friday.
[Frances:] No more cake Brett. Your dad will
[Brett:] No more no cake.
[Kaley:] No cake.
[Francis:] No no.
[Frances:] Oh no no no.
[Francis:] No no no cake.
[Frances:] Dear me.
[Francis:] January... [children shouting]
[Frances:] What you shouting at Brett? Where're the matches for the birthday cake?... Kaley I'm just going to put this in the bin. Watch that Brett doesn't touch anything on the table.
[Kaley:] Right....
[Francis:] There's his eyes.
[Frances:] Whose eyes?
[Francis:] Jack Spratt.
[Frances:] Ooh....
[Kaley:] Some people have got work to do.
[Frances:] Right who's gonna help set the table for daddy. Come on then. Knives and forks.
[Francis:] Done this last time.
[Frances:] Okay.... Brett come out of the window.
[Francis:] I didn't know what it was.
[Frances:] What?
[Francis:] Making that funny noise.
[Frances:] And what was it?
[Francis:] It's when somebody comes in mm...
[Frances:] Well then.
[Kaley:] We're all going to sing
[Frances:] You're gonna sing what? Steady.
[Kaley:] Wait till I
[Frances:] Right well you sing it first. I think I've forgot the words.... Get off the table. You can't have any cake until teatime....
[Kaley:] [singing] Just happy happy they're hat on and he's coming out to play. []
[Frances:] And is that a picture of the sun?
[Kaley:] Yes.
[Frances:] That's very good.
[Kaley:] Now you have to sing it.
[Frances:] Oh. Brettsy. [singing] The sun has got his on hip hip hip hooray. The sun has got his hat on and he's coming out to play. [] Hooray.
[Kaley:] Hooray.
[Frances:] Hooray.
[Francis:] Right now we are going to... [shouting] You're a person. []
[Brett:] [crying]
[Kaley:] Brett sorry.
[Brett:] No [shouting] no [].
[Frances:] Brett stop shouting.
[Brett:] [crying] Oh []
[Kaley:] You smacked me
[Brett:] [screams]
[Kaley:] He's scream at me and.
[Frances:] Brett now you stop that this minute. Kaley I want you to go upstairs and get me a pad for Brett please. Hurry up so that he's got a paddy on at teatime. Come on Kaley.
[Brett:] tea.
[Frances:] What?
[Brett:] Tea.
[Frances:] You're gonna have some tea in a minute when daddy comes.
[Brett:] Yes.
[Frances:] Yes.
[Francis:] will be here.
[Frances:] Six o'clock.
[Francis:] Ooh.
[Frances:] Teatime.... You'd better watch and get that paddy first or there'll be trouble. What? Oh my goodness. He's a monster. Yes. One two one two three four What? One two three. Are you gonna have a potato fork? There you are. On the table.... There's the potato knife.... Three there's four aren't there. Steady. Put them on then. There's Francis and Kaley's. Kaley come on. What did you do at school today then?
[Kaley:] What?
[Frances:] What did you do at school come and tell me.... What? Oh.
[Brett:] Gotta smack.
[Frances:] You gotta smack. Who smacked you? Potato smacked you I don't think he did. Potato power mm. Sing a song Brett.... Hooray hooray.... Hooray.... Kaley did you do any sums today? No? What did you do? Did you do some writing then? Did you do all your work from the.
[Kaley:] Yeah.
[Frances:] So you've been good then. I think wants some tea.
[Brett:] Wants some tea.
[Frances:] I think she wants some tea.... [banging] Stop banging Brett.
[Francis:] Mum.
[Frances:] What?
[Francis:] I want I want there's some there's some and I know just the answer to the question.
[Frances:] What? What've you done? Pick it up put the knife down now on there. Now pick your fork up get down and pick it up.... What? Oh just pick it up.... What you doing? Pardon me? Really mm.
[Brett:] Yeah.
[Frances:] So we're get you having some tea now mm?...
[Francis:] I wish daddy was back I wish daddy was back.
[Frances:] What for? You starving?
[Kaley:] No way.
[Frances:] Well he won't be long. But will the chicken be cooked.... So what did for you today?
[Francis:] She'd been sick.
[Frances:] She'd been sick. Why did she eat something that was nasty?
[Francis:] No.
[Frances:] Then why was she sick?
[Francis:] I don't know.
[Frances:] Get down Brett this minute.
[Francis:] you have to go and my dad where where it was just clean and you could just sit on it but nowhere Sarah's side.
[Frances:] Where'd she been sick do you know?
[Francis:] She'd been sick on the floor.
[Frances:] She'd been sick on the floor.... Please don't sit on the table. Right to keep us going... Kaley don't be silly.... Kaley... Hey boys. Who are you shouting? [LAUGHTER] What? [] Did you get a paddy for me please? One oh look at that clever girl yes. Another one? Brett put them down please. Where's Kaley's gone? Well put it down.
[Kaley:] the paddy.
[Frances:] Hurry up Kaley. Where's Francis?
[Francis:] There.
[Frances:] In there?
[Francis:] There mum. There.
[Frances:] Come on.... Come on one two three. Oh dear pick it up. Just a minute just a minute. Watch this here. Pick it up Brett. Can you find it? Have you found it?
[Kaley:] Yeah.
[Frances:] Oh. Come on then. There's a good girl. Brett what are you doing? Come on.... Get up. Get up Brett. Well what are you doing for god's sake? [LAUGHTER] What? [] Where's it gone? Not there. Right you get a.... Who's this look? Who's that? Is that Penny?
[Brett:] No.
[Frances:] Penny the doll.
[Brett:] The doll.
[Frances:] The doll yes. Get your fingers out your mouth. What?... Hooray one two three.
[Brett:] Another one.
[Frances:] Another one. Another what?... [shouting] Kaley. []
[Brett:] [shouting] Kaley. []
[Kaley:] Coming.
[Brett:] [shouting] Kaley. []
[Frances:] Have you got the paddy?
[Brett:] The paddy.
[Kaley:] Tea.
[Frances:] I said have you got the paddy? Where is it then? What a nut-case.... Will you put those down please. Give Kaley hers back now.
[Kaley:] Want something to eat.
[Frances:] Give Brett his give Francis his.
[Kaley:] I want something to eat.
[Frances:] Well just a minute daddy'll be here soon and you can have some. Get down. You can't have the party without daddy when it's his birthday.
[Kaley:] Well I'm starving.
[Frances:] Did you eat your dinner at school?
[Kaley:] Yeah.
[Frances:] What?
[Kaley:] And I eat my pudding.
[Frances:] Oh.
[Kaley:] We had
[Frances:] The dentist said to daddy if you drink lots water after you've had something to eat then it stops your teeth going quite as bad. Because you can't wash them after food. And then you won't need so many pulling out next time.... Er stop arguing please.
[Kaley:] Mama we had a
[Frances:] What would like to eat then?
[Francis:] Something. What can I have to eat? My bread bun?
[Frances:] No. with the chicken. If you eat a bun or a cake you won't eat your chicken. to mummy that letter.
[Francis:] I'm hungry.
[Kaley:] Mama.
[Frances:] I'm gonna get do you want to wee wee? You have a wee
[Brett:] No.
[Frances:] You want to draw? Well go in the sitting room where your drawing pad is. Come on. Want to draw. Come round here then. Come and get this paddy off. Come on we'll just get the paddy on before teatime. What's the? Shut up a minute. I don't care if you're starving or not you're not getting anything before. Lie down. Well why don't you just absolutely fold him up? yourself. Well share it.
[Francis:] Mm?
[Frances:] You I'm gonna fold it up.
[Francis:] Okay.
[Frances:] And then I'll back you.
[Francis:] Is it is it?
[Kaley:] Is it a music park.
[Francis:] Amusement.
[Frances:] Brett get off daddy's knife and fork now. Don't you wee wee in that paddy mind. Where's your turtle one gone?... You can ask Shirley as well. Ask Shirley if Brett went on the at all. Ask Shirley if Brett went on the.
[Kaley:] Ask Shirley if Brett went on the.... Can I tell dad something?
[Frances:] Ask if Shirley's there....
[Francis:] He is he is my your mum's.
[Frances:] Look just put the phone book down.
[Kaley:] Can I tell dad something?...
[Francis:] Tell dad I wanna tell him something.
[Frances:] It's all gone. Toy's eat it all. What's going on? Kaley you get some milk out the fridge please.... Oh. Right there's gonna be trouble in a second mind. Kaley you can talk in a minute cos when Shirley comes back Shirley wasn't there. Kaley don't cry. Brett give Kaley a cuddle now.
[Brett:] No.
[Frances:] Yes you villain. Milk....
[Francis:] Ee you've gotta
[Frances:] You what?
[Kaley:] Brett on the head.
[Frances:] You naughty boy. Now get off. Did you hit Kaley? You kiss her better now. Kiss Kaley this minute. Give her a kiss. Kiss it now. That's it shake hands. Right. I'll tell you what we need to do with you.
[Kaley:] What?
[Frances:] Those fingernails done. Yes you should look when you fell over they were all broken.... What did oh my... Look at them they're all broken. How long did daddy say he was gonna be Francis?
[Francis:] minute.
[Frances:] Oh. The chicken isn't cooked.
[Francis:] Did you tell him?
[Frances:] No.
[Kaley:] Daddy's I wanna tell him that I'll tell him that
[Frances:] Francis will you come off the floor and go in the sitting room until I shout you for tea.... Shall we have some of this? Yes I think we should. There's the mouse. There's the mouse in the house. What you sticking your fingers in? What what. What? It's not funny Kaley. When he's been putting his fingers in that birthday cake there'll be trouble.
[Kaley:] He hasn't.
[Frances:] Have you?
[Kaley:] No. I...
[Frances:] Stop it.... Do you have to make so much noise?
[Kaley:] Yes.
[Frances:] Why?
[Kaley:] Cos we like to.
[Frances:] You're giving me a headache.
[Kaley:] All this noise in class.
[Frances:] Oh is that why you're getting kicked out? Ha?
[Kaley:] That's why we did it.
[Frances:] What's the matter with you? Brett.... What are you getting all excited about misses aye? Yes.
[Brett:] Mum. Mummy.
[Kaley:] Boo....
[Frances:] Come on then fetch. You get off those cakes or there's going to be trouble. Look you can't have a cake. You've got to have some tea. Come here. Come on. Give mummy a cuddle.
[Brett:] No.
[Frances:] Give us a love. Oh don't bash me. Don't bash me. Which one does Brett want?
[Kaley:] I know.
[Frances:] Which cake does Brett want? Which one?
[Brett:] Pink.
[Frances:] The pink one.
[Kaley:] I one.
[Frances:] The chocolate one. He's not having it Kaley until after tea. Not yet. You can have it in a minute. When daddy comes. You going to tell daddy you've been a good boy today?
[Brett:] Yeah.
[Frances:] Had three and a cocoa.... What's Chloe doing? Don't hit her be careful. I've read your home messages. No after Tuesday. So what we gonna do with Kaley.
[Kaley:] Or Monday.
[Frances:] You little toerag. That's naughty. He punched me in the eye. He's a villain.... [LAUGHTER] What?
[Kaley:] There's one two
[Frances:] Have you been eating this cake?... You've just wee weed in this paddy. You're supposed to stay. Where's Aunty Susan? She's at school.
[Kaley:] Who was that at the door was it
[Frances:] Aunty Susan and coming from. And we're gonna sing happy birthday to daddy. Mummy's card. Where's card? Are you gonna watch out the window for Susan?... Oh you're not doing that you've already.
[Brett:] No no.
[Frances:] Yes yes.
[Brett:] No no.
[Francis:] It's not a joke.
[Frances:] Right.
[Brett:] Aunty Susan.
[Frances:] Let's not all shout.
[Francis:] Let's all be quiet.
[Frances:] That's a good idea Francis.
[Francis:] But I need to get some quiet.
[Kaley:] Aunty Susan Aunty Susan....
[Brett:] Gone. Gone.
[Frances:] Who's gone?
[Brett:] Gone.
[Frances:] Who's gone?... Chloe.... Oh what's the matter now? chair Francis. Why don't you go to your bedroom until tea's ready.
[Kaley:] No.
[Frances:] Yes.
[Francis:] Don't want to.
[Frances:] I think that would be a good idea.... What are you doing Kaley? What did you say you were doing?... Let's have some lights on.
[Brett:] Mummy. Mummy. Mummy.
[Frances:] I think the chicken's cooked....
[Brett:] Mummy.
[Frances:] well why not?
[Brett:] Mummy.
[Frances:] Who's this? Who's this?
[Francis:] Great Aunty Susan.
[Frances:] Who is it? Is it anyone or is it
[Kaley:] It's not is it? Yes.
[Frances:] Oh no.
[Kaley:] Have you got.
[Frances:] What you gonna say? Don't forget when you see daddy what you've got to say straight away.
[Francis:] Happy birthday.
[Frances:] Aha. You come and give him the present.
[Francis:] Me?
[Frances:] Yeah. Come on.... Let Francis give it him.
[Frank:] What's this then? Oh thank you. It's ooh. Thank you.