[Douglas:] Erm,
[Dave:] It's Culture Beat and Cherry Lips, which is our out-tro music
[Douglas:] Erm,
[Dave:] but unfortunately, something's wrong with the equipment, or something
[Douglas:] Oh, I see
[Dave:] so it jumped to this different track, with different timing, and it came up, I like you, so I thought, oh, let it roll.
[Douglas:] Is that an early Christmas present, that sweater?
[Dave:] Do you know how old this sweater is?
[Douglas:] No
[Dave:] What do you think, what do you think?
[Douglas:] Pam Dixon's here, the bearded wonder has taken himself off for the weekend
[Dave:] Yes, er
[Pam:] I thought you were calling me the bearded wonder then. [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] Dominic's changed dramatically,
[Douglas:] I know, I know
[Dave:] Dominic you do look strange since
[Douglas:] Yes, I know
[Pam:] [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] And this is
[Douglas:] The nicest looking edition of Dominic I've ever seen
[Pam:] [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] A much better Dominic, you've improved dramatically
[Pam:] Thank you very much
[Douglas:] Yes
[Dave:] This is, you're not gonna believe this
[Douglas:] no go on tell, tell me
[Dave:] Right, like it, it is about fourteen years old
[Douglas:] Is it really?
[Pam:] It looks, it looks as good as
[Dave:] Is it nice?
[Pam:] Yes Christmas red you see
[Douglas:] And still, still still fits you, you haven't put a weig you haven't put any weight on at all.
[Dave:] [clears throat]
[Douglas:] Anyway
[Dave:] It's running up the stairs that does it.
[Douglas:] Pam's rather impatient to get on
[Dave:] Is she? Oh why?
[Pam:] [LAUGHTER]
[Douglas:] Yes, she absolutely is so, we'll have to erm, find out from you what they've been talking about.
[Dave:] Well, we had our Friday debate
[Douglas:] Mhm.
[Dave:] and the Friday debate was, Christmas has lost its meaning because of commercialization, it was er the old chestnut, you know. Well, ninety percent, nine O percent agreed.
[Douglas:] Erm
[Dave:] Ten percent disagreed, and I was not surprised.
[Douglas:] it starts a lot earlier, doesn't it, ever earlier.
[Dave:] It does, end of November, we've got another two weeks to go, oh it's, Christmas should be Christmas shouldn't it? You know, one of the effects are a little bit tranquil but anyway, the other thing which erm, everyone really enjoyed, er, cos I know you would remember this er, Dougie, is your first kiss
[Pam:] [LAUGHTER]
[Douglas:] Oh, I don't think I can, it's so long ago.
[Dave:] Oh come on Douglas, come on
[Douglas:] No, no it's so long ago, no, no, no, no.
[Dave:] Can I ask you, when was your first kiss, Pam?
[Pam:] It was erm, I shouldn't think, I shouldn't say this on the air, it was f on a cellar steps, at a teenage party.
[Dave:] Disgraceful, that!
[Pam:] I had to go and look at somebody's chandelier, that was hanging in the cellar
[Dave:] Really
[Pam:] erm
[Dave:] Oh dear, Dougie's getting a bit, I see Dougie's getting a bit er, yeah, erm
[Douglas:] A bit hot under the collar.
[Pam:] [LAUGHTER]
[Dave:] Anyway, one lady said,
[Douglas:] Go on,
[Dave:] one lady said she was put off for life after her first kiss, and never kissed another man. She's now in her seventies.
[Douglas:] Yes, it's the effect you have on women
[Dave:] [LAUGHTER] Someone had a kiss in a broom cupboard. I don't know what that was like
[Pam:] a broom cupboard
[Douglas:] lovely,
[Dave:] a kiss after Postman's Knock,
[Douglas:] yes.
[Dave:] and one lady was told by someone who kissed her first, first kiss, said to her, she was just a natural
[Douglas:] Right
[Dave:] I thought, so I'll leave it at that
[Douglas:] as the song says, a kiss on the hand is quite, continental, diamonds are a girl's best friend. [LAUGHTER] Right, and on that happy note, we'll start with the news, Dave thank you very much indeed. Well er there's some happy news. Three British hostages are on their way home from Iraq, after being freed from a jail in Baghdad. The release of Paul, Michael and Simon follows a mercy mission by former Prime Minister, Sir Edward Heath. Iraq is denying that the move is a bid to have sanctions lifted. Well it's one of the talking points this morning, if you'd like to give me a call. Has a deal been struck do you think, what's in it for Saddam, what's in it for Britain? I'll be talking to our diplomatic correspondent, David Spannier, later in the programme. In fact, after the seven o'clock news, but if you'd like to get ahead with er one of your comments, then it's. Labour has broken off parliamentary relations with the government, the move which will end the system of pairing for Commons' votes, is in protest of plans to rush controversial legislation through the Commons. And, health and safety watchdogs say they're not convinced the Channel Tunnel has sufficient safety measures in place to protect passengers. The tunnel is due to open next May, but the Health and Safety Executive say procedures still haven't been tested. On that talking point perhaps, would you go through the Channel Tunnel, knowing what you know about it at the moment? Anyway, Pam Dixon has sat very, very patiently through all this claptrap with laddie, now here's the sport.
[Pam:] and Michael and Stefan Edberg meet in the semi-finals of the Grand Slam Cup in Munich. The winner is set to be some half a million pounds better off. And you might be better off if you put a tipple on the old racing today. It's at Doncaster and Cheltenham.
[Douglas:] Well, Derek had another winner, he's had a very good week Pam, by his standards. He's had three winners in four days, and he had at Fakenham yesterday, at fifteen to eight, so not too bad a day for again yesterday.
[Pam:] Fingers crossed.
[Douglas:] Right, see you in the six o'clock news er spot.
[Pam:] Okay.
[Douglas:] Okay, right, time to check on the first travel report of the morning. Rob morning... Twenty one minutes to six the time, if you'd like to give me an early ring, then it's. Well, quite a few talking points this morning. First of all, the main story in our news at five thirty, and I think unless anything more dramatic happens, it will be the main story right through the news bulletins of this programme. Three British hostages on their way home from Iraq after being freed from jail in Baghdad, Paul, Michael and Simon. They're released, and all this follows a mercy mission by Sir Edward Heath. Well, I wonder if you feel that er, there's something more to this than meets the eye. Saddam has never been known for doing something for the benefit of others. It's obviously for the benefit of Saddam, and I wonder what you think that benefit might be? Do you think some deal has been struck? Saddam certainly has done his best to milk the whole occasion. I think it was er fairly evident that he had given permission for the three British hostages to be released after Sir Edward Heath's meeting with Tariq. But er no, Sir Edward had to go through the full rigmarole of a meeting with the great man, I put that in inverted commas, but er I suppose he thinks he is, the great man himself, Saddam Hussein. So, I wonder if you feel there is a deal. I wonder if you feel that even if there was a deal, the British government, the Foreign Office, represented as they were, so admirably really, by Sir Edward Heath, he seems to have done a very good job, I wonder if he had to work very hard, or do you think perhaps, anybody could carry that out? Sir Edward, of course, has had experience in getting hostages freed before. So er, perhaps he was the man for the job. There's a lot to discuss here, and er I just wonder if you'd like to throw in your two penn'orth before I talk to our diplomatic correspondent, David Spannier on this subject, after the seven o'clock news. is the number to ring. Now, another story that is er an interesting one this morning, and I'd like to hear your view on, families with two television sets could soon be paying twenty pounds extra for their licence, to lessen the burden on hard-up viewers. Well, a lot of people might think that is very fair, the new charge would mainly hit households where the children are allowed their own sets. But of course, a lot of er family homes now have er more than one set, perhaps more than two. There's generally one in the main parents' bedroom, perhaps there's one in one in er one of the youngsters' bedrooms, there could even be one in the kitchen these days. So er, I just wonder if you feel it is fair that er you should pay twenty pounds extra for another set. I wonder if you should pay twenty pounds more again if you have a third set and again if you have a fourth set. Give me your views on this. Other changes, this is the Commons' Heritage Committee of MPs who er were sitting yesterday, under their er leader Gerald Kaufman, the former Labour politician, well he still is a Labour politician, but er he's not so high profile now in politics, but he seems to be creating a bit of a stir here. Other changes include high, higher charges for hotels, a new fee for car radios, and an increase in specialist programmes, funded by subscription. But I think the twenty pounds extra for another telly is the one that er you might like to comment on this morning.. Health and safety watchdogs say they're not convinced the Channel Tunnel has sufficient safety measures in place to protect passengers, and after that incident a few weeks ago, which was er certainly played down by the authorities, I wonder just how safe the Tunnel is. Well, it doesn't open till May, but the Health and Safety Executive say that safety procedures still haven't been tested, and even if they had, would you go through the Tunnel? I was at a dinner other night, er where er French Railways were the hosts, and of course they were doing their best to er tell everybody to travel through the Tunnel naturally enough, because that's what their trains will be doing come May, and er one or two people, it must be said, were just a touch sceptical. I wonder, if you'd been at that dinner, would you have joined them in their scepticism.. Now, at around twenty five minutes to seven, I'll be talking about a fascinating report in She magazine, and it's entitled How to Survive House Guests from Hell, and it's a seasonal item, and of course we all know that er we, a lot of people er go to stay with friends and relatives over the Christmas period. Frequently they stay for some days. And it will be some days this time, because Christmas day is on Saturday, so it's a very long, long weekend and holiday period. So if you have house guests for the festive period it could be that they might be staying four or five days. I wonder if you're looking forward to it, perhaps many of you are? I wonder how many of you are dreading it, it's the duty visits, it's the duty receiving isn't it really? There's a Danish proverb, you know, that states that fish and guests smell after three days and er we all know the visits which have begun so successfully from friends and relatives, it needn't be Christmas, it could be at any time of the year, which are often ruined by people lingering on well past their sell-by date. So, we'll be looking at er, some of the categories of people who come to stay. And we'll be looking, more importantly, at how you can perhaps get rid of them when you want, or even better, er put them off altogether. That's er a little bit of fun in that, but er we might have a little bit of advice for you if you are preparing to receive guests you'd rather not see over Christmas. If er you've had dreadful experiences with er guests staying at your place, give me a ring on and share your horrid experiences with me. And of course the tragic death, far too early really, for Danny Blanchflower cut down by disease, and er one of the greatest footballers, I suppose, not only of his generation, but of anyone's generation and er, how sad it is, that we should lose two of our greatest footballers in this one year. Both the old style wing-halves, I suppose they'd call them mid-field players now, Bobby Moore and now Danny Blanchflower. Danny graced the Spurs team of course, er completed the double with them, when he was captain, and I know a lot of Spurs supporters will remember those days. Perhaps you'd like to reminisce and say was he one of the greatest players ever to put on a Spurs jersey. I suspect he was, or come to that a Northern Ireland jersey. It's fourteen minutes to six.... A quick reminder, many people will know, but a quick reminder and er, if you've perhaps just come back from holiday yourself, or you're one of our new listeners, you may not know so I'll tell you, Douglas Cameron's Breakfast Call, this very programme, will be breaking new ground at the end of next month. We'll be travelling down under to Australia, and coming live to you for a whole week from Sydney. And, this is the exciting bit as far as you're concerned. You could be travelling with me. We're looking for two couples to make the trip with the programme. It'll be a working holiday, but my goodness it'll be the experience of a lifetime and to find out how you can join us stay tuned for the Dougie Down Under competition thanks to QUANTAS, Australia's national airline. Eleven minutes to six is the time, and if you'd like to give me a ring on any of the subjects I've mentioned, then it's. People are joining us all the time, so I'm very briefly er just in a word or two, going to go over the subjects, and then if you want to give me a ring, please do so.. The main story of the morning as far as our news bulletins are concerned. The three British hostages, released from jail in Baghdad, now on their way home from Iraq. Sir Edward Heath has done an admirable job, do you think that the die was cast anyway? That er any er public figure worth his salt could have achieved what Sir Edward has done, or do you think he's brought something special to the negotiations, and why has Saddam done it? Not for the benefit of others, he never does anything for the benefit of others, one can only feel that he sees some advantage in releasing these British people. What is it? Has a deal been struck? and if a deal has been struck, what do you feel it might be? and do you really mind, as long as these people have been released? And let's not forget there are one or two more in there as well. They may not be British, but er there are more hostages in there, because hostages really are what they are. Twenty pounds more for any extra television set that you may have in your house. Do you feel that's fair? Another twenty quid if you have a second television set on your licence, I wonder? And, how to survive house guests over Christmas. If you've had a horrifying experience with some visitors that you've invited, then let me know.. Nine minutes to six, the time. Frances has joined me from Harrow. Good morning.
[Frances:] Good morning. I would just going to talk about the television licences.
[Douglas:] Please do
[Frances:] Erm, well if we have to pay twenty pounds extra for erm, an extra television, what about the shops that sell them?
[Douglas:] Mhm.
[Frances:] Will they have to pay twenty pounds for each television that they have? Because I assume they pay er, just for one licence now?
[Douglas:] Do you feel it's a good idea?
[Frances:] No, I don't. I mean, some people erm, are elderly and they're confined to their homes, they may have one downstairs, and one in their bedrooms.
[Douglas:] Mhm
[Frances:] I mean, I only have one er, I would like two, but my husband doesn't want another one, but
[Douglas:] Is, is that because you can't afford it?
[Frances:] Oh no, well erm, I assume we could afford it, he just doesn't like one in the bedroom so we have one downstairs. Fair enough.
[Douglas:] Mhm.
[Frances:] But other people erm, I, I think it's a lot of money. It's enough that you have to pay for the licence, which is erm, what is it eighty pounds
[Douglas:] Er over eighty quid isn't it?
[Frances:] Yes, that's right
[Douglas:] Eighty three pounds I think.
[Frances:] Well, it's erm, every other station on, on erm, has erm, advertising, why can't the B B C now have advertising?
[Douglas:] Ah, well now that's a different erm barrel of worms isn't it really?
[Frances:] Well, if that's going to help them with the money, then they won't charge for extra televisions.
[Douglas:] Right, so you reckon that er they shouldn't charge twenty quid more for another television set, they should take some advertising?
[Frances:] That's right
[Douglas:] What on B B C One?
[Frances:] On all of them, why not I mean, erm, on B B C One and B B C Two. Every other station has, you even have advertising on radio, why can't you have it now on B B C One and Two and cut down the eighty pounds?
[Douglas:] Well yes you don't have advertising on B B C radio of course do you? I mean the B B C er television and radio is er still what we call er, state controlled, isn't it really? Not, not a commercial sector at all.
[Frances:] Yes, but if erm, they want to put their licences, er they're the only ones that have the revenue from the television anyway,
[Douglas:] Mm.
[Frances:] why can't they now decrease that, and er start doing advertising?
[Douglas:] Okay Frances, well, er, we'll get some comment on that after the six o'clock news, I'll be bound. Never mind paying twenty pounds extra for a second television set, and another twenty pounds if you have a third set in your house. Why don't the B B C, both radio and television, take advertising, and then we not only would not need to pay an extra twenty quid, we probably wouldn't need to pay the eighty odd pounds that we're paying already for a colour television licence. And now throw something else in. How about a special purchase tax on televisions, what do you feel about that? Ring me, and we'll take your calls after the six o'clock news. The number, as ever,. It's six and a half minutes to six. Judy Flowers here to have a look at our stars. Good morning.
[Judy:] Good morning, Doug
[Douglas:] Well, it's a bit of a sandwich this weekend, isn't it really?
[Judy:] [LAUGHTER] It is []. We t we sometimes talk about sandwich days don't we, sort of you know the morning, the evening and the middle of the day?
[Douglas:] Yes, we do, we do.
[Judy:] Well, this is very much a sandwich three days, because we've got today and Sunday looking quite good, but a rather difficult and tense Saturday sort of tucked in between. B er, both today and Sunday look very good for socializing and generally enjoying life, but on Saturday I think it's going to be very important to keep things in perspective.
[Douglas:] Why is that, why has Saturday got in there? Among the bad ones?
[Judy:] Well, we've got, er, we've got a difficult aspect, a rather tense aspect. It's got nice flowing aspects today and Sunday, and these rather tense ones coming up on Saturday, so that's why it is.
[Douglas:] Mm.
[Judy:] And, this is particularly so, this er keeping things in perspective, for you Sagittarians tomorrow.
[Douglas:] Well, I'll tell you one thing, Monday's not gonna be wonderful for me, I've got to go into hospital for a little operation er b but seriously, I'll be out on Tuesday, but I'll, I'll be away for the week er, because the Doc said don't come back to, to work till a week on Monday, so I'll, I'll try and listen if I can, but what have you got for us?
[Judy:] [LAUGHTER] The aspects on Monday are very good, Douglas, so don't worry.
[Douglas:] Are they? Good, good.
[Judy:] Yes, there's a new moon and a lovely aspect between Mars and Saturn, which is all about disciplined and constructive action. Have a very good weekend everyone, Douglas, have a, like I said, a good week, get well soon, come back and see us soon. I'll be back with Jeff Clark on Monday.
[Douglas:] Yes, indeed, Jeff here on Monday. I'll be back, er, hopefully a week on Monday. Hope so anyway. Right, erm, the travel before the six o'clock news.
[speaker006:] [music of waltzing matilda playing]
[Douglas:] Thought we'd play a little er different version this morning, just to er change things round a bit, but the message is the same. At the end of January, Douglas Cameron's Breakfast Call will be broadcasting live from Sydney, and in the next few minutes, I'll be telling you how you can win the chance to travel with me, all expenses paid. Stay tuned for the Dougie Down Under competition, thanks to QUANTAS, Australia's national airline.... Nine minutes past six, and it's the morning of Friday, December the tenth, if you've just joined us, as many people do after the six o'clock news, or even before the six o'clock news, welcome along to the programme. Now some of the main talking points this morning, certainly the big story as far as the bulletin is concerned this morning, or one of them anyway, one of the top two. The three British hostages, who are on their way home from Iraq, after being freed from jail in Baghdad. The release of Paul, Michael, and Simon, follows a mercy mission by Sir Edward Heath. Iraq is denying the move in a bid to have the sanctions lifted, but er I just wonder. Er, we heard yesterday from some of your phone calls, and indeed we heard, and some of us may have seen on the television news on Wednesday evening, the desperate plight that many Iraqi civilians are now in. The sanctions really are beginning to bite and I wonder if Saddam feels that er he may be able to ask a favour or two from the West, in return for the release of these three British men. He never does things er for the good of er the people concerned. It's generally for the good of himself, and I wonder what's at the back of his mind with the release of Paul, Michael and Simon. Do you feel some deal has been struck with the British government? If it has, do you worry about what deal it is, as long as these three men are released, or do you say we shouldn't do deals with people like Saddam? Did it send a feeling of revulsion down you er when you saw Sir Edward Heath shaking hands with Saddam Hussein yesterday? Or did you feel, well, he's done an admirable job. Do you feel that anybody could have done that job? Or did it have to be somebody like Sir Edward? A lot of things to answer, and er I'd like your replies please on on that particular story. Now, already we've had calls on the next story. Families with two television sets. How do you fancy paying twenty pounds extra for the second set? Well I know you don't fancy it, but do you think it's fair? Well, this has been suggested by MPs on the Commons' Heritage Committee, and this is part of their proposals to spread the burden of the B B C's one point six billion pound costs. It would, they say, lessen the burden on hard-up viewers who can't afford the eighty odd pounds, I think it's eighty three pounds isn't it for a television li a colour television licence now? Anyway let's call it that, it's around that. Eighty three pounds. It would er reduce the burden on those who can't pay. So I wonder what you feel? And I wonder if you feel that er if you have three television sets, then you should pay twenty pounds for the second and another twenty pounds for the third. Now, er some people are ringing up this morning saying well why, why the devil should we pay. Why if the B B C want to make more money, first of all, can't they get after the licence dodgers? Well, I think they are making great inroads now into catching a lot of people who er simply refuse to pay er their television licence, but of course there are a lot more who er are still escaping the net. But er, if they got a few more of those it might help. But the main thrust of your argument this morning, is that the B B C, both television and radio, should take advertising. Well, I wonder if you feel that's a good idea. I know people who will say it's not a good idea, and that's the people in commercial television and commercial radio, who, if the B B C started to take advertising, would see their slice of the cake get just a touch less. So, er we here may not think that the B B C should take advertising, but er let's hear your views on. The Channel Tunnel in the news again this morning. Health and safety watchdogs say they're not convinced that it has sufficient safety measures in place to protect passengers. The Tunnel is due to open next May, not very long really you know, but the Health and Safety Executive, say safety procedures still haven't been tested. Well, we had that incident didn't we, several weeks ago in the tunnel, which the authorities er tried their best to play down? I wonder, bearing in mind that incident, however serious, or minor it was, would you be one of the first to go through the Channel Tunnel? Er, would you be perhaps, er, willing to see how it went, and then maybe go through it next summer or next winter, or would you never, ever go through it ever?. At twenty five to seven, just after the six thirty news sequence, we're gonna be talking about a report in the latest issue of She magazine. Everyone, I think, is vulnerable to the guest, or guests that descend upon you from time to time. Generally relatives from Scotland in my case, and decide to stay, having invited themselves, and you can't really turn them away, er, decide to stay for two or three days. Well, some of them you greet with more affection than others, it must be said. And er, a lot of people of course, will be looking forward, or perhaps dreading Christmas, and the guests that are coming to stay at their house. If er, you've got guests coming, are you looking forward to it, or are you not, and er I'd love to hear some horror stories of er past Christmases, when you've had er perhaps unwelcome guests, or guests who've overstayed their welcome. Well, we may have a few helpful hints. I'll be talking er, to the writer of the article in She magazine in about twenty minutes' time, and er we'll discuss with her, how you make the best of these unwelcome guests. They fall into some categories don't they, like the lazy slob, who never does anything, never washes a dish or ne never helps at all around the house, so even though they stay there for about a week. So, er, I'm sure we all know them, how to stop them coming, or get rid of them as soon as possible. That's what we'll be attempting to find out in twenty minutes' time. And Spurs fans especially, but football fans in general, I'd like to hear your tribute please, to Danny Blanchflower who died so tragically at the age of sixty seven yesterday, from Alzheimer's Disease. I suppose er, he must be in the top ten of all-time great British footballers, wouldn't you say? One of the greatest players ever to put on a Spurs' jersey I would think. A man who led Spurs to the League and Cup double, some thirty or so years ago. You must have some memories of Danny Blanchflower, playing for Spurs and Northern Ireland, if you'd like to share them with me, it's. It's sixteen minutes past six.... Seventeen minutes past six is the time, and we still have some trouble on the travel front because we've got delays on the Northern Line of the underground. When I say we've got some trouble, we do, but it's not like the trouble we had half an hour ago, when in fact there were three lines, sections of which there were no trains on at all. But, er, that's been resolved fortunately, we've still got some delays on the Northern Line, and er, obviously do allow yourself a little extra time if you're a Northern Line traveller. If you're one of that unhappy breed. Maybe I'm doing them a dis-service, but I don't think so. Right the cancellations on British Rail.... Right, we'll take some calls after this, starting with Humphrey from Kew, David from Pinner and Bob from Edgeware.... [music of waltzing matilda playing] And that by now familiar music to many of you means that in five minutes it will be the Dougie Down Under competition thanks to QUANTAS, Australia's national airline. As many of you will know, we are going at the end of January, with the programme, to Australia, to be broadcasting live from Sydney for a whole week to mark Australia Day. And we're looking for two couples, er it needn't be husband and wife particularly, although it'll be er very nice if it is, but it can be mother and daughter, father and son, any combination you like really. Two couples to come to Australia with us, and to act as roving reporters, travelling round the country, reporting on what they see to me, on the telephone, live on the programme, all expenses paid, thought I'd just er let you know that er very important fact. And of course, the fact that you are going to be roving reporters will mean that you will have to, if you become a finalist, be able to do an audition live on air. You must of course, have a valid passport, and you must be free to travel in the last two weeks of January. So, in five minutes, I'll be asking you the fifth and final question, which could result in you're going out next month with Dougie Down Under, thanks to QUANTAS, Australia's national airline. Twenty and a half minutes past six is the time. Humphrey has rung me from Kew. Good morning.
[Humphrey:] Good morning Douglas. Erm, I want to talk to you about erm, em,hosp hospitality over Christmas.
[Douglas:] Right.
[Humphrey:] Erm, to, to, as, as, this, part of it, part of each other,Th Th Thursday, one horrific er erm, guest that my mother had in, in our house down in Gloucestershire, erm, she has a lot of clients, er erm, she's an artist, erm, erm, this woman, erm, er,w er, went up to her bedroom, and erm, and was standing b b by the electric fire and fire, and erm, very nearly scorched her nightdress. In er incredible, and erm, she asked to come away, and erm, erm, she, my mother was, was up, up half the night with it. What
[Douglas:] Oh, That's all you need isn't it, really? Yes.
[Humphrey:] Yes, absolutely, set the house on fire
[Douglas:] Oh, my goodness me, Humphrey that's a horrifying experience.
[Humphrey:] Yes, yes.
[Douglas:] And I wonder if anybody can match that, I don't mean match that, when she nearly set off her nightdress on fire
[Humphrey:] Quite... but I... no
[Douglas:] it's a Freudian slip isn't it really? But, er what a horrifying experience. Of course, these things can happen really, er especially if er, one of two of the guests, I'm not suggesting your mother's guests er over-imbibed, but one or two of the guests do have a few jars over Christmas and they get up to all sorts of things in the house don't they?
[Humphrey:] Douglas, I've got two very, very, very, quick, quick, quick very funny stories,
[Douglas:] Yes
[Humphrey:] erm,f from the erm, erm, former Bishop of Gloucester, erm, what is erm, and what is your erm,def definition of hospitality?
[Douglas:] What is my definition of hospitality? I don't know Humphrey, what is your definition of hospitality?
[Humphrey:] Making people feel at home when you really wish they were. [LAUGHTER] And another one,
[Douglas:] Yes?
[Humphrey:] erm, what is your definition of happiness?
[Douglas:] Definition of happiness, what is it?
[Humphrey:] Eating with nice people,... drinking with nice people, and sleeping with a clear conscience.
[Douglas:] Humphrey, thank you for that. Twenty two minutes past six is the time. David has rung me from Pinner. David good morning.
[David:] Er, good morning Douglas. I'd like to well, number one I'm an Arsenal fan, but I'd like to speak up on er on the tragic loss yesterday.
[Douglas:] Of Danny Blanchflower?
[David:] Because to me Danny Blanchflower, we lost England's number one, now we've lost Ireland's number one, and it looks like we could even lose John, before long, of a similar type of er illness.
[Douglas:] Yes, I, I was actually just saying to my wife last night, erm, who would have ever thought that in the same year, we could have lost two of the greatest wing-halves, as they were in those days, but I suppose mid-field players they'd be known as today, who'd
[David:] Yes.
[Douglas:] have ever thought in the same year, we'd have lost two of the greatest players that this country has ever seen.
[David:] Yes, but er, the other thing, Douglas, the sad thing about it was, Danny Blanchflower was great er, on and off the field, and it was the old heavy ball, and the longer you played with it, the heavier it got, and then you had that lace in the centre, difficult to er, head a ball, then you had the studs, well, as you know yourself, it's nails. Half of them were badly worn, everybody was open to erm, serious leg injuries
[Douglas:] Yes.
[David:] and erm, that finished er, er, Derek er, er of Sheffield Wednesday.
[Douglas:] Derek
[David:] Derek, sorry.
[Douglas:] Derek. That's right, yes.
[David:] But er, finally about er, our great er Tottenham er player. I don't think the guy was ever booked.
[Douglas:] No, I shouldn't think he probably was, David, thank you very much indeed.
[David:] Anyhow, I hope all goes well for you next week. Don't worry, it's not too bad Douglas. Bye.
[Douglas:] Oh, you've had one have you? [LAUGHTER] Yes, they're referring to the fact I'm just going for a, it's a hernia operation actually, so er everybody says, oh you, no problem at all. Hope they're all right. Bob from Edgeware. Good morning Bob.
[Bob:] Good morning. I haven't recovered from Humphrey yet. Erm, [LAUGHTER]
[Douglas:] He's a card, isn't he?
[Bob:] erm, right, Julie erm. I'm glad her husband and all the others are coming home.
[Douglas:] Yes.
[Bob:] But I'm very annoyed with er, the incessant canting about the John Major government. Does she really think that Edward Heath would have got the connivance of the Foreign Office or the government, without it being sorted out beforehand? All it needed was for the envelope to be stuck down.
[Douglas:] You, you don't think then, that Sir Edward Heath did anything special to get the release of these men?
[Bob:] Not really, and to use your words, was there anything about any revulsion of watching them shake hands with Sa that animal, Saddam Hussein.
[Douglas:] Well, I wonder. You see, see. I, I, I, I just wonder how many people would say oh, that's awful. I never thought I'd see the day when a British politician shook hands with Saddam Hussein. W w what was your own particular feeling Bob, on that?
[Bob:] Well, I don't, I'll be fair. I don't like Edward Heath at any time, so I'm slightly prejudiced. He went there, he shook hands, he'd shake hands with a vulture if he thought he could get him up the pedestal, but that's neither here, something was done. A deal was done. I don't think there was a promise, you will get. The promise was probably vague, we'll see it, we may use our good offices to the United Nations to some sort of embargoes or, that's all ca they're likely to be promised because we're not in a position to promise anything.
[Douglas:] Okay Bob, well Bob thinks that a deal was perhaps done. We'll be talking about this to our diplomatic correspondent, David Spannier after the seven o'clock news. It's now six twenty six.... [music of waltzing matilda playing] Right time for the Dougie Down Under competition, thanks to QUANTAS, Australia's national airline. Two couples must win an all expenses paid trip to Australia with me, when the Breakfast Call comes live from Sydney at the end of January. We've had four questions already this week, if you missed any of them, we will be repeating them next week, but now here is the final question. What is a baby kangaroo called? What's a baby kangaroo called? Now, as soon as you have the five answers, and do remember that if you er, didn't hear any of the other ones, they will be repeated next week, so you'll have a chance to write all the five answers down. I want you to send them in to me, and here's where er it becomes a little bit different from other competitions, I want you to send them in to me on a Christmas card please. We want to get really festive about this, so answers on a Christmas card only please, to the following address.. Answers, the five of them, on a Christmas card, to and your cards to be in please, by first post, next Friday, the seventeenth. Six twenty seven.... Right, after the six thirty news sequence which is coming up directly, we'll be talking about a fascinating report in the January edition of She magazine, about house guests who may well be coming to you for Christmas, and who may well outstay their welcome. We've all had them, haven't we? in the January edition of She magazine, but although it's the January edition, it er does pertain to Christmas, because it's all about the guests you invite to your home over the festive period, some of whom you could well do without.... Well Christmas coming on apace, it's twenty two minutes to seven by the way, and it's coming far too fast for er many people I know. It's er gonna be with us a fortnight tomorrow isn't it really, and I wonder if you've got people coming to stay over the festive season, and I wonder if you're looking forward to it? Undoubtedly, some of you will be, but there must be one or two people who are actually dreading Christmas er bearing in mind that they've had to ask somebody whom they don't really want in their house, or perhaps that person or people have asked themselves, and it's very difficult to know how to refuse isn't it really? Especially when they come from a long way, away. Well, how to deal with such guests, and er what sort of categories do they fall into. There's a fascinating article in the January edition of She magazine, it was written by Madeline Rice and she's on the line to me now. Madeline a very good morning to you.
[Madeline:] Good morning to you.
[Douglas:] Right the problem is of course, that a lot of these visits start off quite well, but they wear a bit thin after the er third or fourth day, don't they?
[Madeline:] Yes, there's a er favourite proverb of mine, a Danish proverb, that says er fish and guests smell after three days, and I think
[Douglas:] [LAUGHTER]
[Madeline:] I think that's probably quite true. I think after three days they've er worn out their welcome. They, they've seen all the sights, and they've eaten the best of the food and er, erm, it's time to go really, before you know they get, they outstay their welcome, and go past their sell-by date.
[Douglas:] [LAUGHTER] Nice way of putting it []. Some people never quite know when to go, don't they?
[Madeline:] Oh, some people just, you know, I've a, a friend who's erm, who was with someone at college and he er, said he was gonna stay for a week, and you know, months later, he was still there. I mean, so that guest, that is absolute peril.
[Douglas:] Yes,an and one never likes, er, the minute they're in the door, to say, when are you actually going? It sounds so discourteous
[Madeline:] [LAUGHTER]
[Douglas:] but of course, er three or four days later, you're very sorry you didn't pose that question the minute they er put their foot on er
[Madeline:] Yes
[Douglas:] your hall carpet. Erm, there must several categories. In fact, I know there are, because I've had a look at your most amusing, and relevant article. There are certain categories that these guests fall into, aren't there?
[Madeline:] Yes, erm, the, the most archetypal one is, is the miser of course, who, who turns up with a stale box of chocolates and an ingratiating smile, and proceeds to eat you out of house and home, and then when you're at the supermarket, disappears mysteriously at the checkout, and returns when you've paid with a, a bumper bag a crisps that he keeps in his bedroom when, in case he gets peckish at night.
[Douglas:] [LAUGHTER]
[Madeline:] You know, he may take you for a meal after he's stayed a, a fortnight, and it'll, he might lose his wallet, or, take you to the sausage and chips place round the corner, so he, he's a nightmare. And then there's the, the over-amorous couple who er,
[Douglas:] [LAUGHTER]
[Madeline:] it's always nice to know your friends are in love, but erm,
[Douglas:] Yes.
[Madeline:] it's a little bit disconcerting when they forget you're there, and erm
[Douglas:] Especially if you've got thin walls.
[Madeline:] Yes, so you have to, if, you know, with your weekends, where you know there's a lot of banging of spoons, animated chat, to, to cover up what is so audibly going on upstairs.
[Douglas:] I can well remember, I can well remember when our children, when our children were quite young, and er we had such a couple staying with us. And er, without putting too fine a point on it, er there, there were quite a few moans coming from the bedroom, from the lady, and er, my son said, er, er, I don't think she's very well daddy. I think she's, she's ill, don't you think you should go in and see what's happening, I said, no, I, I don't think so, I think, I think her husband will take care of that.
[Madeline:] [LAUGHTER]
[Douglas:] Anyway, the over-amorous couple, yes, they're a bit of an embarrassment, aren't they? Anybody else?
[Madeline:] Well erm, children, people with children who don't know how to behave, or, or at least use your house as a sort of running ground, erm, not living in London, er, er, I have lots of guests that come from London, sort of using it as, as much as one would exercise dogs, and, and let their children r run, like round the house, and then er, I'm sort of saying things like, oh you're, you're very, very sensible not to have decorated until after your son's older.
[Douglas:] [LAUGHTER]
[Madeline:] You know, so that, that's a bit of a nightmare and they erm, sort of never tell their children off, so you know, you're s some ghastly little child can be floating your CDs in the bath
[Douglas:] Yes.
[Madeline:] or scrawling on your tiles
[Douglas:] We're all laughing, but, I mean, it, it, it's absolutely er, enraging, isn't it? If it happens to you, yeah.
[Madeline:] Oh, absolutely
[Douglas:] And the c couple that, that never, never stop arguing. They, they probably come in a foul mood, and er, they, they keep up that er bickering over the whole of their stay.
[Madeline:] That's right, they've probably had a row half way there or something, and it just carries on, you know.
[Douglas:] Yes.
[Madeline:] And then they try and enlist your support. They get you in individually, and sort of reveal embarrassing personal stories, and there's, I mean it just becomes a battleground, your house for, for the weekend.
[Douglas:] Madeline, is there anything that can be done?
[Madeline:] I think you have to sort of, lay your ground rules, I mean state your case, quite early on and it, I mean, you know, if, if you're not good first thing in the morning, you know, you could tell someone you need three cups of coffee before you're safe to approach or if erm, there's a lazy slob who sort of lies on the sofa all day, you could throw the dishcloth at him, or... erm, and also, I mean if it, if there are sort of badly behaved pets and, and children, erm, you know, just, just don't invite them, and if that means your guest list is, is somewhat shorter then all to the good. I mean you could always go away on holiday, if you'd like. I mean that's, at this time of year, when [clears throat] it's coming to the time when people coming round with bargain barrels of biscuits
[Douglas:] It is difficult, isn't it, not only at Christmas, and, and we suffer from this, probably you do as well, friends from London. Er, we originally, my wife and I, come from Scotland, and when you get people ringing up from er Scotland saying, well we're just passing through en route to Paris, or Amsterdam, or somewhere, can we stay with you for a couple of days, it's very difficult not to say, er, well, I'm busy isn't it really, and you, you've got to accept them really? Yes.
[Madeline:] You have to, because, how can you be busy for that entire period of time? It's too hard to think on, you know, on the hop, you know, it's not a, it's impossible. They have to, they have to come.
[Douglas:] Yes, yeah. Well, Madeline, thank you very much indeed. There's a lot in this er, article.
[Madeline:] Thanks
[Douglas:] It's very amusing, and you've explained it amusingly to us, but er, there's a lot of truth, I think in er, what you say and er how can we, er make the best of these unwelcome guests who insist on turning up at the most inopportune times, when we're trying to enjoy ourselves. Anyway, I'm sure you'll have horror stories, of guests who've invited themselves. Guests whom you've had to invite, although you really dread it. Er, perhaps, er, something like that is gonna happen to you in a fortnight's time, this Christmas. I'm sure that over the years, you'll have er, gone through some of the experiences that Madeline and I have been talking about over the last five minutes. I'd love to hear your horror stories please, with guests in your home. Not necessarily at Christmas, any time really. is the number. Five, no it's not, quarter to seven is the time.... And, er after the break, it'll be Anne from Hither Green, getting us off on our section of phone calls.... Most people, I think know by now, certainly regular listeners will know, that at the end of next month, the end of January, this programme, Douglas Cameron's Breakfast Call, will be coming to you live, from Sydney, Australia, to mark Australia Day. And we're looking for two couples, four people, two couples, to travel with us, and to find out er, how you will be able to travel, and what you have to do when you get there, stay tuned for the Dougie Down Under Competition, thanks to QUANTAS, Australia's national airline. I can tell you it's all expenses paid, it's a fabulous trip, and er, we'll tell you how perhaps, you can be on that plane to Sydney with us, later in the programme. Anne from Hither Green. Good morning Anne.
[speaker006:] Good morning Douglas, nice to speak to you again.
[Douglas:] Thank you.
[speaker006:] Erm, you brought back memories you know, when you were talking about unwanted Christmas guests.
[Douglas:] Yes.
[speaker006:] When we were children, about two days before Christmas, my mother used to face us all defiantly, and say your Aunty May's coming for Christmas, and we all used to scream no, no, not Aunty May please.
[Douglas:] [LAUGHTER]
[speaker006:] Yes, she has nowhere to go, she was like a damp sponge.
[Douglas:] Yes.
[speaker006:] She used to enter the house, squelching misery behind her
[Douglas:] Oh dear!
[speaker006:] face us all, and the whole Christmas used to be, we used to tease my brother cos he was the young one, you know, and she'd say, no, no, don't tease the little, oh, no don't say that, and the whole of Christmas, was Aunty May sitting on a sofa, being fed brown ale in never ending glasses, not adding one single thing to the whole of Christmas at all. was not a word she knew.
[Douglas:] Did she come and stay with your family every Christmas?
[speaker006:] Yes, and every week she'd appear just like the weather.
[Douglas:] Oh, she was, she was fairly local was she?
[speaker006:] Yes, and in the end it taught me tolerance and love, because I really learned to love her. I loved her, even though she was miserable, because she was kind,
[Douglas:] Yes.
[speaker006:] underneath that exterior, and it made me realize, that you know, you don't have to like your relatives, I'm afraid, you have to put up with them, and love them.
[Douglas:] That's right, you can pick your friends, but you can never pick your relatives unfortunately. Anne, what a lovely story, although it wasn't very lovely, was it, when Aunty May came round for Christmas, and inflicted herself upon the whole family, with her own particular brand of misery? But, er, I wonder how many Aunty Mays there are coming to your house this Christmas? Peggy of Surbiton, good morning. [clears throat] Morning, Douglas. I've got a very funny story. Erm, a few, a very few years ago, I met a, a daughter of a friend on, on a bus, er going into London. I hadn't seen this, this, I call a child, which she was, [clears throat] excuse me, for about erm, twenty five years. Anyhow, she's living on her own in London, she's not married, so my husband said, oh ask her over, perhaps she'd like to come for Christmas. So we go up and pick her up in Kensington, bring her back, she unpacks her bag and plonks herself down, she eats everything that's put in front of her, and second helpings, [LAUGHTER] you can laugh, she never lifted a fork or a plate off the table. No. We waited on her hand and foot Yes and do you know, she had the most enormous Christmas er lunch, about six o'clock she said, could I have a bowl of soup? Oh no. Yes, and Boxing night, she came up with the, er, the same e enormous breakfast, enormous lunch, do you think I might have two lightly boiled eggs wi with er soldiers? Oh, lovely Yes, forty five years of age. We packed her off the, the following day. How did you manage it? Well, my husband just, just, just said that we were going out, we got to go out, and we couldn't, that was it. Oh. So he took her back, to make certain she kn she was there Yes. but, er, it never st we waited on hand, she never even made her bed Yes, well this is, this is one of the er, categories that we've been talking about. I think she would fall into the lazy slob category, Peggy? I called her a slut. Well yes, er Bit, bit, bit more vicious, because, I think it's dreadful. We waited on her Some people are like that, Peggy, some people are like that. They expect to be waited on hand and foot, they've got no consideration for others. Oh, yes, there's a lot of them about you know. Terry from Camberwell, good morning Terry.
[Pam:] Morning, Douglas. Er, you know, Ken, Kenneth Clarke is absolutely right to er protest about the hundred billion for a job creation scheme in Europe. He knows that most of that money will come from just three member states, Britain, France and Germany. All the others will get a handout from any funds set up for whatever reason, Douglas.
[Douglas:] Mhm.
[Pam:] Each British tax payer at the moment, is paying about eight pounds a week for the E E C, and most of those tacp tax payers were dragged by the hair, screaming into Europe, erm, I don't think there's any doubt about that. This government is actually cutting back on everything here just so that the French farmers and the mafia can live in the manner to which they've become accustomed, Douglas.
[Douglas:] Terry, thank you very much indeed. Er, we're getting quite a few calls on that subject now, John from Erith, good morning to you John.
[Dave:] Morning, Douglas, I think that's totally unjustified, myself, yes, I, I think
[Douglas:] You do? Aha, right what is your view of things?
[Dave:] Well, erm, we were worrying about erm, the government being weak in representation in Europe over the two pin plugs,
[Douglas:] Yes we were,
[Dave:] well you can guarantee they're gonna fight tooth and nail over this job creation scheme, to stop it.
[Douglas:] Mhm.
[Dave:] Why do they do it, Douglas? When it's really important, biggest evil in this country, is the unemployment. About five million, million unemployed, when you take the true figures into account.
[Douglas:] Well, do you think it's as high as that?
[Dave:] I do, yeah, personally, yeah, well, you know it's a lot higher than it actually is with the erm, anomalies
[Douglas:] Yes, yes.
[Dave:] that are em, accidentally cut off the erm, figures,
[Douglas:] Yes.
[Dave:] by this government, but er, this is so important to them, it's gonna actually cost them some money, this government, er, they don't invest in anything that's important, it's the biggest drain on us erm, budget deficit. Or it's the biggest cause of the budget deficit erm, in this country, is unemployment and social security etcetera, and we get a, a brilliant plan for erm, job creation, and what do they do? Black it.
[Douglas:] Well, indeed, that is what they're gonna do. John, thank you very much indeed, two contrasting views there. And indeed, at the summit today in Brussels, John Major is going to fight plans by the European Commission for a one hundred billion pound job creation programme across the Community. As I say, contrasting views on that story, and er if you'd like to give me a ring with your view, then it's very, very welcome. We'll take calls on that and indeed any other subject in the news after the seven o'clock news. It's now six minutes to seven.... The time now, on the Breakfast Call, with me Douglas Cameron, is three minutes to seven. Let's move on to the birthdays and the anniversaries. We'll do today, tomorrow, and Sunday.... Those are the birthdays and anniversaries. If you'd a dedication mentioned on the day, and it's er, very important isn't it really? If you er, send one in, to get it mentioned on the day, well we certainly do our best, er, sometimes, er, the er, anniversaries and the birthdays, not very often, are crowded out by er, any news stories that we may have to bring you, became first and foremost this is a news programme, er reflecting the stories of the day, but generally speaking we manage to get a full list of your dedications in. Can you let us have a birthday or an anniversary message in writing please, a week before the actual date, don't forget to tell us who it's for, who it's from, and the date. Commonsense you may think, but it's amazing how many people leave out one or more of those essential details. So we'll do our best to get your dedication in on the day, if you will do the rest. The seven o'clock news coming now, right here. Well, that by now familiar music will tell you that at the end of January, Douglas Cameron's Breakfast Call will be broadcasting live from Sydney, and in the next few minutes, I'll be telling you how you can join us down under, for the Dougie Down Under Competition, stay tuned for that, thanks to QUANTAS, Australia's national airline.... The time now is nine and a half minutes past seven. I want to concentrate, er for the next five minutes or so, on one of the main stories of the morning. As you may have heard in the seven o'clock news, three British hostages are now on their way home from Iraq, after being freed from jail in Baghdad. The release of Paul, Michael, and Simon, follows the mercy mission by former prime minister, Sir Edward Heath. On the line to me now, is our diplomatic correspondent, David Spannier. David, a very good morning to you.
[Frances:] Good morning, Douglas.
[Douglas:] Why at this point in time, has Saddam Hussein decided to release these three men?
[Frances:] Let's say first of all that Ted has done jolly well in getting them out, and everyone deserves er, er you know, he deserves a tremendous vote of thanks from everyone. But Saddam's motives are not at all altruistic, as er, everyone, everyone can guess. It's simply that he wants to create a better atmosphere, and show that after all he's a reasonable man, and we shouldn't be too hard on him in these days. And he gets a lot of publicity out of this by er, being photographed with Ted Heath, by announcing that he's showing clemency to people who are convicted by the Iraqi courts, and that really people shouldn't hold too much against him.
[Douglas:] Well, he's certainly made a lot of it, didn't he? Milked the occasion for all it was worth. I would have thought, that after Sir Edward's meeting, or Ted, I kno I don't like to call him Ted, I know you know him intimately, David, so you can call him Ted, I'll call him Sir Edward, but after Sir Edward's meeting with Tariq Aziz, surely that was enough, wasn't it? But Saddam had to just play the whole game, and er, he must have got a lot of propaganda out of this, mustn't he? The, the old handshake, with er, Sir Edward?
[Frances:] Well, he does, and he doesn't, Douglas. I mean, if we take this as a game, as you rightly describe it, he only takes these people from th in the first place, to have hostages that he can use as bargaining chips later. I mean, these three men, may or may not have strayed across the border, but they certainly did nothing wrong,
[Douglas:] Erm
[Frances:] and they're just jailed for long periods of time, because he wants to assert, Saddam wants to assert, er his authority and show how erm, tough he is. But really these people, and there're about thirty other nationalities, by the way, being held, he just wants to show how tough he is, and it's useful in the future, as now, when he wants to make a gesture. The publicity is fairly short-lived, of course it has tremendous effect on the British media, and we're all very, very happy for the families of these people
[Douglas:] Yes.
[Frances:] but it doesn't actually change British policy, or alter the fact that sanctions are going to be maintained against Saddam. But for his part, er, it looks good, er he gets lots of promotion in the erm, Iraqi press, which he controls anyway, and Iraqi television, and he comes across as a kind of, er, father of the people, who can on one hand show great severity with executions and so forth, on the other hand, dispense er justice and human feelings, and show that he really loves people in general.
[Douglas:] But David, he's not proving a very good father is he, because er, I'm sure many, many people will have seen pictures on television on Wednesday night, of how these sanctions are really hurting the Iraqi people. The ordinary people in the street.
[Frances:] Yes, and that is Saddam's dilemma, I mean,yo the point about him is this, one mustn't think of him as being a rational er politician who does sensible things, for sensible reasons. That is the wrong way to look at Saddam. He's a very, very emotional, unstable dictator, who's just been determined somehow to exploit his position geographically, in the Middle East, to try and emerge as a sort of mini superpower, and to that end, he's done a lot of terrible things, of which the invasion of Kuwait was really only one. But in the course of that, he's so angered the international community that sanctions as we know, economic sanctions have been levelled against Iraq, and they have bit, and they have hurt the Iraqi people, but in general, Saddam is not responsive to that kind of pressure. After all, even if his people as a whole are suffering privations and losses, and can't buy all the things they want, it doesn't affect him and his ruling clique. He has the perfectly healthy, happy life. Have you seen pictures of him?
[Douglas:] Yes.
[Frances:] See how sleek he looks, and how dark and well and such,... yes, he does, he does
[Douglas:] He looks very healthy, doesn't he, very, very fit?... Erm
[Frances:] er, but there is a point at which, you know, he's always trying to evade sanctions, and usually, and it's a genuine case, he asks that er, essential supplies, like medicines and such, should be allowed through, and er, in the general, the United Nations have responded by saying, Okay, we'll give you that, but you've still got to observe the rules of the international law, which I'm afraid, again and again, he flouts. So, there's no real sign on his part, of a change of heart.
[Douglas:] No, I mean, there's nothing to stop him arresting more British people, or er, any nationality, come to that, and saying well, they did stray into our territory, I'm sorry about this, but er, we can't have that sort of thing, you'll have to er, come and see if I want to release them in a few months. Nothing to stop him er, doing the whole all over again, is there?
[Frances:] Well, he's doing it now, as I say, there're about thirty other nationalities held in Iraqi prisons. But this isn't the worst of Saddam, I mean, this is er, a human tragedy for all the families involved and it concerns individual lives, and for that we're always very upset. But er, he does much, much worse things to his own people, and in particular, the people in the south, called the Marsh Arabs, or, or the Shea Arabs. He's continually er, persecuting them, and there's many, many indications that he uses er, poisoned gas, or chemical weapons, and er lays waste their whole villages, and he's seeking to do this because he wants to dominate his own country, and not allow any minorities a chance to look after themselves, and the same applies of course to the Kurds in the north, whom we have a direct responsibility, the international community, to protect. Now this action against whole groups of people is so awful Douglas
[Douglas:] Erm
[Frances:] that I fear, that sooner or later, we'll probably have to go to war with Saddam again
[Douglas:] You, you, do you really feel that?
[Frances:] I do feel it. I'll tell you why. I mean, there are many, many cases of injustice around the world and, the West, the British government, can't be responsible for all of them, but there's, there's one particular case of Iraq, where we've already gone to war, to, in the cause of democracy and freedom, and I don't believe that when Saddam offends again as he does day by day, we can turn a blind eye. We can turn a blind eye to some of it, but the point is always reached when he goes too far, and intervention is required, usually only in the form of American attacks by aircraft on his offences in the em, areas where he's not supposed to penetrate.
[Douglas:] Yes, would it be a possibility, perhaps, that Sir Edward Heath, might try to get the other European hostages out? His success rate with er, British hostages is outstanding isn't it?
[Frances:] Well Ted is a very, er, experienced operator. He's always had his heart in, in diplomacy and he's got the kind of authority you need for this. That is, he's an ex-prime minister, who can face er, Saddam across the table, you know, on equal terms. At the same time he has no political authority, er, representing as it were the British government, he's just an individual of stature, and he's got the time and the energy to do it. I don't think that he could look after other countries, although the same sort of precedent could no doubt apply for example, the former French prime minister, there's probably quite a few of them around, could be found to go to
[Douglas:] [LAUGHTER] Yes
[Frances:] Iraq, and do the same kind of negotiation. The danger is that er, Saddam exploits this er, more and more, and seeks to try and get sanctions overturned. Well, that won't happen. But I think that from, er, Sir Edward's point of view, he has done jolly well, and er, the families have already expressed their great gratitude to him.
[Douglas:] Well if I may, er, coin one of your phrases, well done Ted. Thank you David, very much indeed. David Spannier, our diplomatic correspondent, giving us an expert's eye view of the whys and wherefores of the release of the three British hostages, who happily will be home very, very shortly. Seventeen minutes past seven.... I thought for a minute, he said down to Mr Blobby didn't you?
[Judy:] Well, he keeps calling me Mr Robbie, because, for some reason, he thinks I resemble this silly character.
[Douglas:] Yes... I can't understand why.
[Judy:] [LAUGHTER]
[Douglas:] You are, you are, perhaps you are, you, you're a little, two or three pounds over your fighting weight for a man of your height, but still,
[Judy:] [LAUGHTER] I know, I should be eight foot six, but, I'm working on it
[Douglas:] [LAUGHTER] We had enough of Blobby yesterday, without any mention of him on the programme again. Right, it's twenty minutes past seven.... [music of waltzing matilda playing] We can't afford modern technology now, we've got one of these old wind-up gramophones. [LAUGHTER] Right, nevertheless, not withstanding, etcetera. In five minutes, it'll be the Dougie Down Under competition, thanks to QUANTAS, Australia's national airline. I'm sure most people know by know, that er this show will be coming to you live from Sydney, Australia, for a whole week to mark Australia Day at the end of January, and er the interesting thing from your point of view, is that we are looking for two couples, can be a husband and wife, er mother and daughter, father and son, any combination really, just a couple of friends. We're looking for two couples to come to Australia with us and to act as roving reporters. What you do, is er, travel around the country, to selected spots, phone into me, on the programme live, and tell me what you've been doing, what you've been seeing. All expenses paid, I need hardly add, and of course, this will mean that should you er, get through to the final, you will need to do an audition, live on air, in the day or two before Christmas. More of that later, you must also have a valid passport, and you must be free to travel in the last two weeks of January. Okay. So in five minutes, I'll ask you a question, and that could result in you're going next month with Dougie Down Under, thanks to QUANTAS, Australia's national airline. Seven twenty two. Leslie of Finsbury. Good morning Leslie.
[Humphrey:] Er, Good morning, Douglas. Em, much earlier you was on about this erm, erm, television licences, er, be it,an another extra twenty pound being added to any, another set over the top of what you've got.
[Douglas:] Yes I just want to explain very quickly for people who don't know what we're talking about, Leslie, because a lot of people join us by the minute, er, MPs on the Commons' Heritage Committee, have said, they think it's a very good idea, that if you have more than one telly, you should pay twenty pounds for the second one, and who knows, twenty pounds for the third, and twenty pounds extra for the fourth. What do you feel?
[Humphrey:] Well, this is what I'm, what I'm on about, this proposal. I, I assume it's just a proposal at the moment? But,i is it
[Douglas:] Yes, it is
[Humphrey:] gonna a be across the board? Or er, just affecting households or is there a special dispensation for hotels, hospitals, commercials, er, commercial establishments, Crown property, Buckingham Palace, and any of the Royal homes, go right through, you can go right through the card?
[Douglas:] Well, I think the idea is, that certainly large hotels could afford to pay a bigger collective bill than they're paying at the moment. And er, er a lot of people I think, would agree with that. Wouldn't you?
[Humphrey:] Well, they appear to have, er, er I mean they have televisions in every room, and, and, and they, and they, and they put their prices up accordingly, er en suite, and all this business, but er with the television,
[Douglas:] Erm
[Humphrey:] I mean, they're, they're, actually, they're creaming it off at the moment.
[Douglas:] Yeah, I mean, have you got more than one telly?
[Humphrey:] Sorry?
[Douglas:] Have you got more than one?
[Humphrey:] No, I live on my own, I got, I've got one little television in my own sort of bedsitter.
[Douglas:] So, er, would you think it's a good idea maybe to er, to, to charge people twenty pounds extra for each telly?
[Humphrey:] Well, er, it's all according to whether they can afford it in the first instance, secondly, is it gonna be across the board?
[Douglas:] Yes.
[Humphrey:] I mean, you can't just hammer households, and leave them, I mean, even, even, even like er ju ju the judiciary, the courts, they've all got televisions in their pl... I mean surely, and that's Crown property, by the way. I understand that they don't pay any television licences at all.
[Douglas:] Okay Leslie, thank you, a lot of calls coming through on this one. Inge, from Wembley. Good morning Inge.
[David:] Morning, Dougie. Er, first of all, good luck for next week
[Douglas:] Oh, thank you.
[David:] and er, do you know, I've got so many things to say, erm, first of all to do with er, erm, guests at Christmas. You know, one must remember there are so many lonely people, and Christmas is the worst time of the year.
[Douglas:] Yes.
[David:] The other thing is television licence. Now, I must say that I see there is a point of charging for every television set, erm, I don't have any er, er objection to that, but one rider, that senior citizens should be helped.
[Douglas:] Yes, I think this is probably the idea behind the thinking, really. That those who are not really able to pay, who are genuinely hit very hard by the current eighty three pounds, isn't it for a colour television licence, I think? Er, they would be helped, I think, by this and er, I think if that were to be the case, then I'd be wholeheartedly behind it.
[David:] Yes, I think that, I think that would be fair, but er for instance, hotels, establishments, they should of course, pay much more.
[Douglas:] Inge, thank you very much indeed. A lot of calls coming through on this. We'll take as many as we can er, during the programme. It's now seven twenty six. [music of waltzing matilda playing] Well here go, with the Dougie Down Under competition, thanks to QUANTAS, Australia's national airline. Two couples must win the all expenses paid trip to Australia with me, when the Breakfast Call comes live from Sydney, at the end of January. Now, we've had four questions already this week, if you missed any of them, we will be repeating them next week, so you won't miss out. But now, here's the final question [recording ends]