CRUSADE AGAINST cucuMBEns.
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Every summer crusade is started

 against cucumbers; and some erran

 knight who is as arrant a madman as ever

 was Don Quixoto or Sir Hudibras, takes up arms against the poor harmless vegeta- ble. The leaders are sure to be followed by great number of Squires, who like

 Sancho Panza or Ralpho, are content to be

 the humble imitators ftheir crazy masters.

 Among those who have most frequently and perseveringly put lance in rest and rnn a tilt against this coolingsand comfortable product of the vine, is q certain Captain Megrim, who resides every where in gene- raj, and no where in particular. He may be seen every summer, in some place or other, from Maine to Georgia, constantly engaged in preaching, writing, or fighting against cucumbers. It is even asserted that he possesses sortsof ubiquity; that he is known to be present in sundry places at one and the same time; and that, while he is writingananti-cucumber paragraph in New York, he is most eloquently holding forth against the vegetable in Philadelphia, and clambering over a garden wall to tear up the farmers vines, in some obscure country town.

 However this may be, it is certain, that he IS indefatigable in his endeavors to pre- vent the propagation and use of cucumbers 1; and It not present in more than one place at the same time, travels with most unac- countable rapidity from one end of the Uni- ted States to the other. Pacolet, by turn ing the mysterious peg, was never whisked away on his wooden horse with such won- derfll velocity. x

 n Frna Nhsna sc h< .,na~ n ...n~a variety of arguments, adapted to the com prehension or the prejndicies of his sreaders or hearers. At one time he asserts-ss Cu- cumbers are slow poison." At another he facetiously says-''' The only proper mode of using cucumbers is, to cut them in thin slices, salt, pepper and vinegar them well. and then-giye them to the hogs" Again, he says, adapting his language to the ignorant and vulgar" Cucumbers is the l most hurtfulest and dangerCusest things that ever was eaten-theysar as indigestible as | a grindstone and as cold as a hisickle !''

 At other times the Captain inserts a par 1 agraph in the newspapers, purporting to re- late the death or sufferings of some impru- dent or headstrong person, who has died or come near dying from the use of cucum- bers as thus :-- N" Weare informed, that MT. Thomas Towzer, who keeps a grocery store near the foot of Maiden Lane, was yesterday seized with most violent disease, believ- ed to be Molora Corbus. in consequence of fimprudently eating platefal of cucum- bers along with his dinner. He is said to have endured the most excruciating pain, accompanied with SO violent a vomiiion, that, less than half an hour he threw up liis entire insides, and some say, his very though to the latter assertion we give very little credit. Doctor Slop was immediately called in, and replaced tho inwards with that consummate skill and dexieritys fer which he is SO much distin- guished but so great was the shock given Eo the system. that we are sorry to say, veryl recovery" 'ss IA

 And again:-

 "Os1M by CacMm6ers !!-It is our