LORD DEXTER,s MOCK FUNERAL,
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LORD DEXTER'S MOCK FUNERAL.


Dexter's tomb was in the basement story
of handsome summerhouse, erected on "a
slightly position, surrounded by "shrub,
flower, and tree" The tomb was well
lighted and ventiated-a mere, safer lifs'r
fitfuI fever" should be over. Aftor the
tomb had been prepared, and the coffin
finished to his taste, Dexter with few OF
his, cronies, got up mock funeral, suPpos-
ed by many at the time to be real one
He had, by giving to his wife, son and
daughter, suits of moarning and money TO
boot engaged them at last, to acquiesce in
his whim. Cards were sent to certain per-
sons in the town to attend bis funeral.
Some who had no misgiving, and all who
desired frolc, came at the hour appointed.
Some wag, for he could not get priest to
perform the burial service, read it and pro
nounced an eulogy on the great man OF the
East The procession moved to the garden
vault, the coffin was deposited, and the
door locked. The aessembed mourners re-
turned to the house, where sumptuous en-
ertainment, had been provided, and the
choisest wines poured out like WATER
Some one limited that Dexter's ghost had
been seen at an upper window while the
procession slowly moved to the vault, but this
passed away, when a loud complaint was
heard in the kitchen. 1t was Lord Dexter
Gaming his wife, for not acting her part as
she should have done in the ceremony.
She had not shed tear! She should have
cried to think It was not reality. Dexter
had been so much pleased in his conceal
ment in hearing of bis praise, that he enter
ed the wake room with the highest glee;
shared in the wine, and threw small change
from his window to the gaping crowd Of
boys who had gathered to witness the last
scene. There was however drawback to
bis experiment; not single bell tolled,
when he expected the whole of them
would have sounded knell for his passing
soul. That was not all; not requiem
was sung, except by the wag who perform
ed the funeral services; he gave one that
some bacchanalian had in former times
composed for himself to be sung before his
departure. Dexter expressed himself sat
isfed with every thing but the absence of
the toling bell, and his wife's dry eyes.
His son had performed his part to admlra-
ton, being sufficiently drunk to weep with
out much effort. 1t is said that his grief
was so excessive that he required support
as he entered the tomb; at least the old man
was satisfied with his enactmens.


Knapp's Life Of Lord Derter.