THE UNHAPPY MARRIED MAN.
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The sublolned outpourings of married


man, are from the "CharcoaI Sketches Of


Neal. Courting has been saptly termed a


paradise, and matrimony the way from


that region to the earth again. The fol.


lowing, if true, is pretty good ilustra-


tion:


'What made you get married, if you


don't like it?


why was deluded into it; fairly deluded


into it. | had nothing to do of evenings,


so went courting. Now courting's


fun enough; | hav'nt got a word to say a.
gin courting. It's about as gooda way OF
killing an evening as | know Of. Wash
your face, put on clean dickey, and 60
and talk as sweet as sugey or molasses
candy for an hour or two--to say moth
ing of the kisses behind the door, as
your sweetheart goes to the step with
you"


"When | was single man, the world
wagged along we'll enough. 1t was just
like an omnibus; | was passenger, paid
my levy, and hadn't nothing more to do
with it but sit down and not care button
for any thing. S'posing the omnibus got
upset-well, walks off and leaves the
man to pick up the pieces. But then
must take wife and be hanged to me.
It's all very we'll for while; but after.
wards it's playuy like owning an upset Om-
nibus.n


"Man?" queried Montezma-'whats
all that about omnibuSes,''


what did | get by t?' continued Cana
mlel, regardless of the Interruption
How much fun? why jawing old woman
and three squallers. Mighty different
from courting that is. What's the fun of
buying things to eat and things to wear for
lhem, and wasting good spreein' money on
such nonsense for other people?-And
hen as for doing what you like, there's no
such thing. You can't clear out when peo-
'le's owing you so much money you can't
'tay convenient. No-the nabbers must
AVE you. You can't go on a spree; for
when you come home, missus kicks up the
levil's delight. You can't teach her better
manners, for constables are as thick as
'lackberries. In short, you cant do nothing
instead of 'Yes my duck and mo, my
ear, AS you please, honey and when
Su like, lovely,' like it was in courting
mes, its rigilar row at all hours. Sour
'oks and cold potatoes; children and Ia
le clothes bad off for soap--always dar.
ing and mending, and nothing ever darn.
] or mended. Fit wasn't that Pm par
ckelarly sober, I'd be inclined to drink
s excuse enough. It's heart-breaking,
I'd it's all owing to that I've such pain
my gizzard Of a mornings. Pm so mis-
able / must stop and sit on the steps,
whats the matter now?'


pm getting aggravated. My wife's
vim critter--a sword of sharpness--she
is the throat of my felicity, stabs my
Ippiness, chops up my comforts, and
ips up my Sunday-go-to-meetings to
axe jackets for the boys--she gives all
g wittels to the children, to make me
ry and jump about like a lump-lighter--
cant stand tiny troubles is over-pow'
in when | come to add 'em up.
'Oh, nonsense! behave nicc--don't make
noise in the street---be man.
How can | be man, when | belong TO
melody elseS My hours amt my own