M MIsCELLAM MEoUs.

Variety is the spice Of life."
{"newspaper_name": "The Washingtonian.", "edition": "01", "page": "p3", "byline": ""}
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The DEACON FOR Me-" Papa" said one of
his boys to the deacon, 81 had funny dream
last night"


Well, Tommy, what was your dream?"


~ dreamed the devil came to your store"


"The devil"


"Yes, pa, the devil; that he found you draw
ing glass of gin for poor Ambre James, who
had fits, and broke little baby's arm the other
day, because she cried when he came home
drunk. And thought the devil came up to
the counter, and laid the end Of his tail on the
chair, and leaned over towards the barrel where
you were STOPPING TO draw it, and asked you if
you was a deacon. And thought you didn't
look up, but said you was and he grinned and
shook his tail like cat that has rat, and says
he to me, that's the deacon for mel and run
out of the shop laughing SO loud that put my
fingers in my ears and woke up."


The deacon quit the traffic, and joined the
Washingtonians.


Charles Dickens" Boz" was, at last ac-
counts, ruminating. among the fallen glories
of Rome He ascended Mount Vesuvius on
the night of the 21st of February, and had a
grand view of the crater. We should not be
surprised if "Boz" proved as fond of the
crater in Italy, as he certainly was in America,
says an exchange.


Drunkenness in a Menagerie--A drunkard
made his way in menagerie some time since,
and the keeper, fearful that he would get hurt,
told him to leave the place. An Irishman who
was looking on said to the keeper, why don't
you let him alone, sure this is the right place
for him, don't YOU see he has been making a
baste Of himself.


A Good Retort-The ladies of Rochester
have adopted the motto, "Total abstinence or
no husbands" The young gentlemen, to be
even, adopted the motto, Natural waists or
no aoiues."


A clock presented by Oliver Cromwell to
his daughter, on her marriage, is now in pos
session Of a gentleman Of Cincinnati.


Truth and Error.-There was never truth
advanced so pure and selfevident, as not to
be disputed by somebody; while no error was
ever presented SO clearly false and dangerous,
as not to find advocates.


Rich and Poor.-The rich have the mos,
meat-the poor the best appetite. The rich
lie the softest-the poor sleep the soundest
The rich have delicacies-the poor have
health. The rich are afraid of losing-the
poor have nothing to lose, and SO, in this res
pect, have nothing to fear. The rich dreat
the midnight robber-the poor have no appre
tensions Of being robbed. The rich hang them
selves through fear Of poverty.
The best friends are those who stimulate
each other to do good.


Massachusetts License Laao.-Hon. Jno. Da
Wis, of Worcester, as we learn from the Jour
nal of the American Temperance Union, hal
4 hx,< ~ o,,I
to aid in defending the constitutionality of tn,
States Supreme Court, next winter.


GooD.-It is recommended that at all rail
road crossings. the following sign be nailed VI
in place of those already there. *tSurgica
Head Quarters-amputation of legs and arm.
performed with depatch, every fifteen minutes
| by the Ingin DOCTOR"


1t is estimated, says the Boston Times, thai
in America, three hundred thousand drunkards
have been reformed, and that more than five
hundred thousand occasional and confirmed
drunkards have forsaken their cups since thu
commencement Of the temperance reform.


TEMPERANCE OF PRESIDENT JAcKsoN.-This
great military chiefain and remarkable mar
declared to the Rev. John Chambers that, fol
nine years, not one drop Of intoxicating liquors
had passed his lips.


On examination, it was found that of the
two hundred and three convicts in Auburn
State Prison, ALL BUT ONE were accustomed
to strong drink!


Il go it on my own hook" as the drunken
butcher said when he hung by the seat of his
breeches.