ISCELLANECUS.

A QUEER CUSTOMER.
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1t is most amusing" said Richard Mer-
vyn, as he relinquished the attempt to rise
from the gutter at the corner pfand
SITS. !" It is really astonishing how soon the
dreadful climate of America brings on old
age. | shall never survive to get home,
and write book about the place--never.
Here am, six feet two, without my stock
ings, sprawling in dirty, republican gutter,
without being able to help myself out Of it.
There's lamp winking and blinking in my
face, as if it wants to laugh, and would, if it
had mouth, land big brute Of dog just
now nosed me, to see whether was good
to eat What country! what cutters I!
and what liquor! only took nine small
ers of whiskey, and what with that and prema-
ture old age, | verify believe am assassin
ated-I am gone chickenl"


Mr.. Mervyn now clamored so loudly,
that assistance soon came.


"Silence there whats the matter' %


"Matter yourself-I'm being done, or as
some people say, Pm doing. The march of
mind has tripped, and Richard Mervyn is
too deep for himself Help me out gently,
there. Amt | pretty pickle This
what the doctors call g,ata serena, isn't
it 20


"When was at school, the boys would
have called you cultural"


uThey would't have known much
grammar, if they did. am liquid-see
me drip"


ooh, no % said the watch, :" don't try to
be funny know you well enough, now
you have washed your face. You're the
chap that locked me up in my box once,
and when burst open the door, you knock
ed me heels over head, and then legged
ito


"That's me. | did that thing. How do
you like the ups and downs of public life 7
Isn't variety charming I"


off it wasn't that Pm public functionary,
and mustn't give way to my feelings, pd
crack your coacoa, and ease my mind of
doing as was done by. I'll make an ex-
ample of you, however. You're my pris-
oner. Hally coosha to the watch'us That's
the Dutch for being took up"


"Well, give us your arm. Don't be a
fraid Of the mud Gutter mud is very
wholesome. Look at the pigs how fat it
makes 'em; and if you like fat pork, why
shouldn't you like what makes pork fat 7
$3.50, --steady.-Now I'll tell you all a
bout t'other night | was passing your box
in friendly promiscuous sort-of-a-way !,
thought you were asleep, or had run down,
and turned the key to wind you up. Ifa
watch amt wound up, it can't either keep
good time, or even 60"


"Well, what else"


"Why, then, ] watched the box, and
when you come out, boxed the watch
That's all. 1t grew out of my obliging dis
position"


"IIa! very obliging. Now it's my turn
to wind you up, and, to do it in the same
way, I'll take you before the matchmaker,
to be cleansed and regulated You 60 too