MISCELLANEOU

AN UNEASY PREDICAMENT.
{"newspaper_name": "The Columbian fountain.", "edition": "01", "page": "p1", "byline": ""}
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AN UNEASY PREDICAMENT
We were the witnesses Of ludicrous in
cident which occurred in this city few days
since, for relating which we crave the indul-
gence Of the gentleman directly concerned
deeming it too good a joke to be lost
While sitting at our desk and laboring as
siduously with pen, scissors and paste, to
make out readable paper for our patrons,
we were suddenly {. frightened from our
propriety" by the hasty entrance Of a gen
tleman, exclaiming, 6 For Gods sake, help
me to see what's the matter! Fve got some
dreadful thing scorpion or tarantula-in the
leg ofmy pantaloons! Quick-quick--help
me %


We instantly rose from our chair, half
frightened ourselves. Our friend had broken
in so suddenly and unexpectedly upon us,
and was SO wonderfully agitated, that we
knew not whether he was indeed in his
senses or not We looked at him with a
sort of suspicion mixed with dread, and
hardly knew whether to speak with, or
seize and confne him for madman The
latter wer came near attempting. There he
stood quivering and pale, with one hand
tightly grasped upon a part of his panta-
looms just in the hollow of the knee.
&c What's the matter ~ at last asked
we.


eThe matter 70 he exclaimed, G oh help
me !-Pve got something here, which has
just ran up my leg Some Internal scorpion
or lizard, | expect! Oh, | can't let go!
must hold it. All, theren' he shrieked' "
felt it move just then! Oh, these pants with
out straps? I'll never wear another pair
open at the bottom as long as live. All !!
feel it again p


"Feel what :" we inquired, standing at
the same time at respectful distance from
the gentleman; for we had just been reading
our Corpus Christi correspondents letter
about snakes, lizards and tarantulas, and be-
gan to imagine some deadly insect or rep
tile in the leg of our friends C unmentiona-
bles," as they are sometimes called.


IL don't know what it is" answered the
gentleman: "help me to see what it is. |
was just passing that pile of old rubbish
there, in front of your Office, and felt it dart
up my leg as quick as lightning, and it stop
ped just here, where have my hand,' and
he clenched his fist still more tightly. If it
had been the neck of an anaconda we believe
he would have squeezed it to jelly.
By this time two or three of the newboys
had come in the clerks and packing
hearing the outcry stopped working, and
editors and all hands stood around the suffer-
er with looks of mingled sympathy and
alarm.
"Bring chair, Fitz," said we, and let
the gentleman be seated


"Oh can't sit'' said the gentleman; 81
can't bend my knee If do, it will bite or
sting me; no | can't sit ~


! "Certainly you can sit,'' said we g keep
your leg straight out and we'll see what it is
you've got.."


| "Well let me give it one more hard
squeeze; l'll crush it to DEATH" said he,
and again he put the force of an iron vice
upon the thing. If 1T had any life by this
time, this last effort must have killed it. lie
then cautiously seated himself, holding out
his leg as stiff and straight as poker.


A sharp knife was procured; the pants
were cut open carefully, making hole large
enough to admit hand; the gentleman put
on thick glove and slowly inserted his
hand, but he discovered nothing. We were
all looking on in almost breathless silence to
see the monstrous thing-whatever it might
be; each ready to scamper out of harms
way should it be alive; when suddenly the
gentleman became, if possible, more agltated
than ever. "By heavens" he exclaimed,
it's inside my drawers It's alive too
feel it!--Quickl--give me the knife agan!''


Another ncision was made. In went the
gentleman's gloved hand once more, and,
10 out come--his wife's stocking


How the stocking ever got there De are
unable to say; but there it certainly was
and such laugh as followed, we haven't
heard for many day.-Our friend, we know