{"newspaper_name": "The Columbian fountain.", "edition": "01", "page": "p1", "byline": ""}
{"character_count": 4550, "word_count": 884, "ccnet_language_score": [0.9898999929428101], "ccnet_perplexity": [827.2000122070312], "fasttext_language": ["en"]}
somehow or another, the old saw seemed 10
be in bad fix, it worked as though it was
crooked and terrible dull, for the old fellow
would draw it three or four times and then
stop, puff and blow like porpoise in gale
Of wind. ! walked up to him, and accost-
ing him in very friendly and familiar way,
said, "Good morning, Joe, what's the mat
ter with yonr saw, il don't seem to run easy
to-dayH' And taking the saw out of his
hand, 4 placed it lengthwise before my right
eye, and gave it sort Of professional squint,
just as though ] was used to such things.
In the meantime, old Joe was staring at me
in the greatestastonishmen he didn't know
what to make of it A gentleman Of my
cloth to condesccnd to be familiar with such
poor, ragged old chap as he was Whyhe
had never seen such thing before in all his
born days, no wonder that he was bewilder-
ed. However, kept looking at the saw
with a great deal Of attention, for minute
or two, and then asked him what it was
that made the saw SO crooked.


WE'LL" said he, $ don't know, unless
its because it amt straight. Confound the
old thing, wish itwould go without me;
to tell you the truth, it don't go now as it
nsed to 60 ten years ago. $ And don't you
know the reason that it don't 90 so well,
Joe" mo, don't, do you"' eIthink
| do; and now want you to answer me
one question Joe, how many glasses did "a
drink this morning before breakfast


Well, let me see, Counting his fingers
one, two, three, four, five, six--six glasses,
six belicve.'' g Well, Joe, that explains
the trouble with the saw; now let me ad-
yiseyou to quit drinking, and take my word
| for it, your saw will never work crooked
again, When ! drank six glasses before
breakfast used to walk crooked, but now
Pm teetotaller, can walk as straight as a
DOCTORS cane, andif you will only sign the
pledge, your saw will walk straight too
come, what do you say 7" H. ...afa


Well, | don't know said Joe, scratch
ing his head with his file, 6 sbut it would be
a good plan" ias


ssWell, that's right Joe,n said l. "You
come to the Temperance meeting tonight,
and you will have chance, to sign the
pledge"


".Ah, said he, can't 60, there'll be gen
! teel people there, and amt got no coat,
and my shirt, as you see, amt quite as white
as the driven snow 10 a IS


well, Joe,' said ], g you shall have my
coat, its rather large for you, but it is better
than none, as have got two or three more
at home, can spare one just as well as
Inot.N e. $3.50. t.i rni Hsas "a oa yva! sG


Joe thanked me for my kindness, took
the coat and promised to be at the meeting.
He kept his word, and after the close of the
services he came forward manfully and
signed the pledge in the face of the whole
audience. The next day barrel of flour
was sent to his house, according to my
friends agreement.


Some months afterward, Joe, hearing that
was about to leave the town, called upon
me, and invited me to come and take tea
with him. ~ can't give you such good
things as you are used to having," said he
$ but I'll give you the bestI have.o "That
will be good enough,'' said |, "and you
may depend upon my being there" Accor-
dinghy, at the time appointed was at Joe's
house; was ushered into neat room, furn-
ished in a very nice but simple manner
chairs, tables, looking glasses, SC. all Whole,
and looking very clean and tidy. The wife
was we'll dressed, the children looked pret-
ty, and old Joe seemed as though he had
serious intention ofjumping out of his skin,
he felt SO happy.


We sat down TO supper, and although j
have had the good fortune, in my day, Of
sitting down to tables which have been COW
cred with all the luyuries which wealth
could procure, yet ! never in all my life en-
loved better feast than did at old Joe's
table on that occasion. After supper, Joe
took me into the back room, where we were
followed by the wife and children; he then
closed the door, and taking me by the hand,
exclaimed, while the big tears were rolling
down his cheeks. :" Mr.. Parker, look at nv
wife, you see she looks smiling and happy,
look at those little children, they are all well
dressed and always have enough to eat, look
at that barrel in the corner, that's full Of
flour, that other one is full Of beef, that keg
by the side Of it is full Of pork, and down
cellar there is four cords Of wood all sawed
and split, to keep us warm during the win
ter; and, Mr.. Parker, that old saw is as
sAaigM as a looms leg, and cuts as smooth
as sperm oil''


Now, this, Ladies and Gentlemen, is what
call Washingtonianism ha
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