LEW, THE TIPPLER.
{"newspaper_name": "The Columbian fountain.", "edition": "01", "page": "p3", "byline": ""}
{"character_count": 2312, "word_count": 433, "ccnet_language_score": [0.9878000020980835], "ccnet_perplexity": [1467.5999755859375], "fasttext_language": ["en"]}
LEW, THE TIPPLER.
The story tell is no fiction indeed,
IT'S as true as the Oregon line
The scene is on Maryland avenue bridge
The hour-a quarter past nine.
My hero, poor Lew, at tippling shop
Had drank rather deep of good gin
With such ballast on board and such dark road,
His vessel he scarcely could trim;
He approaches the bridge and feels for plank,
(The bridge is as broad as tits long,)
When this warning voice struck the drum of his ear
"You're ecrong, you're orong, you're ,orong.'
"Botheration," cried Lew, am not in the track;
lis SO dark and so dreary tonight:
I'll try it again, I'll turn to the left"
When shrill voice exclaimed, You're right"
Thus assured Lew advanced to the left as he said
But no foot-hold had he-so he fell
His hat flying of, our hero's bare head
Stuck fast in the city canal


Had he not been tpsy he surely had drowned,
And the fish on his flesh would have fed;
But he knew when he ,OanteG to stand on his feet
He most surely would light on his head
"Fice rersa," said Lew, as he reasoned the case;
"rm content to remain as stick"


When, Instantly, down came his legs with splash
And noise like thousand of brick.


Calmly he lay on the broad of his back,


With his nose and his mouth above water:
His spirits were high, tho his body was low,
So he struck up, "Sweet Araby's Daughter
That emusic hath charms has often been said;
Not SO thought the Frogs in the pool,


For they caperd and jumped as if they were mad,
More swift than the bow of Ole Bull
CONSERVATION had seized the whole frog crew.
For they jumped to the North and the South;
Fell plump in our songsters wide mouth.
Many beautiful song has been spoiled
By neglecting a, stop, or note;
But all will confess It's difficult thing
To sing with frog in the throat.
Thus was it with Lew, for he strained and he kicked
His breathing grew painful and hard.


Help, help" loud he cried, when quick by his side
Stood Goddard's Auxiliary Guard;


With spontoons they pried him out Of his hole
He looked like the picture of sorrow:


Besmeared and wet he trudged his way home
To reflect on his conduct the morrow.


Persons who live in that neighborhood say,
Since the night of the splash and the song
That the frogs and the adpoes have all gone away
With you're right, you're wrong, you're wrong.
! ..a. GRUETER.
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