{"newspaper_name": "The Columbian fountain.", "edition": "01", "page": "p1", "byline": ""}
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s1onated my misfortunes, and each ADVISED
different application one recommended
oil, another water, but all agreed that wine
was the best for drawing out the fire; and
a glass of cherry was brought me from the
sideboard, which snatched up with eager
ness: but O.! how shall tell the sequel


Whether the butler by accident, mistook or
purposely designed to drive me mad, he
gave me the, strongest brandy, with which |
filled my mouth, already fayed and blis


tered Totally unused to every kind Of ar
dent spirits, with tongue, throat and palate
as raw as beet, what conld Idos could
not swallow, and clapping my hands up
on my mouth, the cursed liquor squirted
through my nose and fingers like fountain,
over all the dishes; and |, crushed by bursts
Of laughter from all quarters. In vain did
Sir Thomas reprimand the servants, and lady
Friendly chide her daughters for the meas
ure Of my shame and their diversion was
not yet complete. To relieve me from the
intolerable state Of perspiration which this
accident had caused, without considering
what ! did, wiped my face with that i'll
lated handkerchief, which was still wet from
the consequence of the fall Of Xenophon,
and covered all my features with streaks of
ink in every direction. The baronet him
self could not support this shock, but JOIN
ed his lady in the general laugh; while |
sprung from the table in despair, rushed out
Of the house, and ran home in an agony Of
confusion and disgrace, which the most
poignant sense Of guilt could have excited.


Thus, without having deyiated from the
path Of moral rectitude, | am suffering tor
ments like a "goblin damn'd." The lower
half Of me has been almost boiled, my
tongue and mouth grilled, and ! bear the
mark Of Cain upon my forehead /: yet these
are but trihng considerations, to the ever
lasting shame which must feel, whenever
this adventure shall be mentioned