Rev. J. .T.WARD. Assistant Editor.

PRICE, CENT. lly]s N

crack - a-a-whack YOU, Ring sihs.sbell,
Mr.. ~ 49,, we're off--C -Coucordis Intelli-
0encer - go & .si3y .sl.s, s.lf L. t.ta il fssiss

MAJORriJO JONES,FIRST AND LAST
DRINK OF SODA WATER.
"a II Jftn | y


RELATED BY HIMSELF.
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After gwine up as far as Youtaw street,
and takin look at the Youtaw Hotel,
what's bout as big as Noneys' srk \ cros-
sed over and cum down on tofhsr side of
the street, looking along at opeAthias and
another, till got most down to- Charles
street. BY this time I began to be-, mon
strous dry, and as I'd heerd tell good deal
abont soda water what they have in big ci-
ties,l thought Pd try q little at The first
place whnrtt they sold it, sWell The Arst
doctors shop cum 10 had d soda water
sign up, and in went to get sum. se
Ses ], 81 want drink sof soda water,


What kind Of syrup will you have %
ses he, putting bis hand on bottle Of mo-
lasses. .,as, sglao oAW kssi ls8ai s5df saidR
sody water 5.ts., -e,.. sts'asasrs
"Ah " ses he, "you want extra sody."
And with that he took glass and put
some white stuff ID 1t, and then held it un-
der the spout until it was full, and handed
tito me ~ putto my he'd and away at il,
but never got sich a everlasting dose before
in mytlife. | got three or four swallows
down before Isbegan to taste the drafted
stuff and yop may depend it itlikedhiokilIme
right ded in my tracks. ,ttuck the bresth
clean out Of me, and when cum to myself,
my tung felt like it was full of needles, apd
my stumack like I'd swallowed a pint Of
frozen soapsuds, and the tears was rrunnin
out of my eyes III stream. Idrapped the
glass and sperted the rest out of nv mouth
quicker'n lightnin', bat before j could
breathe 10 speak to the chap what was
standing behind the counter, starin' at me
with all his might, he ax'd meif l wasn't
we'll .., nm. ssl,., irefi a5,snas.a1 iss,


"Well, thunder and ,lightnin' ~ ses /, .sdo
you want to pizen me to death, and then ak
me il. I'm well 20 ss'3'a 'sS' p''a' "'
oPizen y, ses he. sa.qeae eai satl Il


eyes," ses I,.'pizen, Iax'd you for some
sody water, and you gin me dose bad
enough to kill a hoss !''gaiaes yioi .u,T


81 gin you nothing but plain sody,o ses
he. ,ta4s gs,ra1 ai.- Bns Ess gptJ


"Well,". ses |, if that's what You call
sody water, I'll dedfetched if I'll try any
more oft. Why, it's worse nor Ingin tur-
nip juice, stewed down six gallons into
pint, cooled off in snow bank and mixed
with hurrycane." asi9'o'. tA' ~" III


Jest then the bilin' hot steam cum up
into my throter that like to blow'd my nose
out by the roots. u i9'Ns''A f.'@'7s''f s4'
Ses he, "May be you ain't used to drink
in it without syrup 2" aofa sssoaa1 staii


"No," ses |, "and what's more, never
will be.n pqsi nl arlad gaassHstat


"lts much better with sassyparilla or
gooseberry syrup" ses he.i ."Wiil You try
sum with syrup f.,sag8 Yf.1 81,


"No, ! thank YOU" ses !, and paid him
a thrip for the dose had, and put out.