R A M B L | N G s
{"newspaper_name": "The Columbian fountain.", "edition": "01", "page": "p2", "byline": "No. 2. aipl' ih7.\nRUM VERSUS WATER.\n\nBY RE VERA."}
{"character_count": 5008, "word_count": 907, "ccnet_language_score": [0.958299994468689], "ccnet_perplexity": [1589.699951171875], "fasttext_language": ["en"]}
KS ISoENE.-Pennsylvani Avenue, near the
Capitol. Four O'Clock, Sun rising, Enter
Mr. BIrTERs from clump of trees on the
right-a whiskey bottle in one hand and
horse cake in the other. He drinks-,akes a
bite of gingerbread, drinks again, smacks his
lips, and thus solioquises. J: l u p lsaf Lat&
Well, | feel all the better for that. Say
what you please, ! contend that man who
takes his bitters Of a morning, in moderation,
will keep his health better, work faster, and
go through more hardships than your pale
faced cold water man, Why, here was !, this
very morning, good for nothing. don't be-
lieve could have lifted corn cob, and as to
running, am sure could not have ran 9
square for my life. But NOW, feel as II
could fell an OK, run mile, or do any thing
that any of your whey faced water suckers
DARE do. Heigho | wonder who invented
bitters his name ought 10 be preserved IN
cogniac. He was great man, ! am sure. ny
George, that reminds me, ! must drink ms
health. a9 .a..


fle retires TO the edge Of the cluster Of trees,
pulls gingerbread OUT Of his pocket, leans his
back against tree. and very composedly com
mences his breakfast, moistening his throat by
frequent applications 10 his bottle Of w.hiskey.
Whilst thus engaged, voice is heard singing
III q JOyOuS tOHC, uiu % VIZ h'iu6S' t''N
corner of First street, lie gives the line


"Hurrah for Cold Water, hurrah' r.
with fine effect, in a voice which clearly indi-,
Gates the possession Of sound lungs and a
heallhful constitution. Mr.. Bitters attempts
an imitation OF the voice and measure Of The.
song, substituting the word " whiskey'' for


water. The stranger, who IS no less a person
than Cold Water Ga Cold water man) detect
| . oil tharl liz.
the vein Of the imtator,, stops and looks stead
ily at Mr.. Bitters, who, after short time, says,


Well, Mr.. What's-your-name, did you never
see man eat his breakfast before, that you
stare at me like cat in a strange garret Y u.


Excuse me, but am curious to know why
you select this spot 10 consummate your break
fast and why you prefer an upright position
to the more comfortable one of sitting /? y


Any thing else s.l,l,.' a5#.-g y.


Yes, / should like you to tell me what hev-
erage you prefer, and why, on this particular
morning, you have confined yourself to gin
gerbread and cold water?


| Are you cold wafer man 2 ti


Yes stree.


sHl thought you was one ofAthose milk and


water fellows, before got sight Of your face.


You look for all the world like a par boiled
aPple-dumpling. Have you no blood IN your


veins? Ilsa 8ai auu6tI 1B4g RaDl 9iil a .f


Plenty of it, and of the right kind, too--wll


you answer my questions or not t
Suppose say no, what then


why, then, will go about my business,
and leave you 10 yeurs--perhaps-


Perhaps-you ought TO haverhought about
that before you asked them-but will answer
them, so here goes. selected this spot, Mr..


Impudence, because the hour had arrived when


reached il at which usually take my bitiers
which hour is always the first after get my
eyes open, in which can procure my favorite
beverage. ! stand upright, because the tree


against which am leaning is in perpendi.


cular position. My favorite beverage is whis-


key, and on this particular morning confine
myselfto gingerbread, because can get moth.
ing better. Will that do2 .,fs5fUya.k
/ i am obliged TO you. These questions are
prompted by no idle motive, assure you. II


| am mol mistaken, you and have met before,
and ..8..aa4 lte s3taf8a aqa85 waf0mg
| am not conscious of any such meeting,
although II may be AS you say. 8ils,n sVeaslo /
] know you are not conscious at least you
were not nt the time, for you were asleep, II
that state Of forgetfulness which is produced
by drunkenness may be called Sleep
Ion interrupt me. say you were uIunk
--beastly drunk-lying exposed, in the broad
| glare Of the morning sun-your bloated lace


loasiing in his rays-looking more like boiled
lobster than human countenance. Where
did you sleep last night p Yonder issyour bed


1.-The grass is wi,hered upon which you rest
ed. The unnatural heat which is consuming
your vilals and which will ere long consgn


you TO the grave. has scorched the green her


bage. Why did you make your bed in that
spot? Because you could get no farther, WHY,
Of all the busy crowd that throng around you
by day, who seek at night their peaceful and
quiet homes, to enjoy in the bosom Of their


families, The rest necessary 10 the renovation Of
health and strength for The tolls OF the morrow
why is it that you. who, 70 all outward


seeming seem a man, make the cold earth Your
am an astronomer. rs ,3&N siA - Mlaa 4
You are a poor, miserable, contemplate
drunkard, shameless, glorying in your shame.
know both you and your history. I knew
yeu when you were in betier circumstances,
or rather before you had host all self-respect-


when you had a LITTLE shame left. and got


drunk on the sly-when you pretended TO have
some affection Tor your family. What has be