POPPING THE QUESTION.

BY JEREMY SHORT.
{"newspaper_name": "Washington telegraph.", "edition": "01", "page": "p1", "byline": ""}
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The following is the Confession" of an
old bachelor, who describes himself as be-
ing now so dried up, that he is little better
thau a mummy, and expects, some of these
days, to be blown away into dust. He adj
vfses all young men to- get married, and
tells them how to manage the ''courting."
The old fellow speaks like one who knows,
though he has touch Of the crab-apple in
him: perhaps he got Tilted when young,
Notwithstanding be protends TO have been
SO GU fat"


SNOW, gentlemen, this going a courting
is nothing TO be afraid of if, like me, one
understands how 10 do it. | don't mean
to boast, but-ihe fact was--in my young
days, / was up to a thing or two. In the
first place, gre on, you are q marrying
mGni 1t viii smooth difficulties wonder
fully. Brothers will invite you to dinner
mamas ask their daughters to sing your
lavoriie song-your opinion will be asked
on all points-and if the family has
country seat you can 90 there every Satur-
day and stay ill Monday, the summer
through, without spending sumarchee.-
You've no idea, sir, what an easy thing
love making becomes under such circum-
stances. A walk down an elm-lane Dy
moonlight chance meeting, at early
morning, in the gardener summer af-
ternoon together in the alcove does the
business. To tell the truth, l never came
SO near going n voyage as once when
spent week in tae country with brides
maid | had waited on: there was & porch
almost buried in honeysuckle, behind the
house, and adjoining the garden which was
a perfect Paradise. There we used to sit;
and one day, it it hadn't been that the old
gentleman woke from the afternoon nap
and threw up the parlor window. Just as
got his daughter hand in mine, the ques-
tion would have popped itself.


You stare; bat repeat, it would have
popped itself. The fact is-between our
se!ves-fhese things come astonlshingiy
natural after all, quite as il one was
/ brought up to them from a child. Don't
trouble yourself about how you shall look,
or what you shall say--;he best thing you
! can do is not to think OF the matter at all,
/ but make a plunge once, and then the bust
ness is soon over. There are thousand


ways to pop the question, as there are
thousand ways 10 make love. Some do ii
with easy impudence--some choke for
words and stick fasi--some deliver a set
speech and lO0I ior clean spot in the car
/ pet 10 20 down on their knees-aad some
/ glide into it gradually, like a hawk narrow
ing lis gyrations before he Stops the poor
girl sitting beside him all the time, hsf
/ heart ilutiering in her bodice like fright
ened bid. I've heard of one or two poor
sinners who popped the question in the
s--lt-
/ tain 10 insure a refusal, and that is to pro-
\ pose in letter. \ wonan--iet her love
| you as she willis always frightened when
/ she GENES seriously 10 think OF leaving he's
/ parents 10 entrust her all with compara-
tive stranger, and it you give her time 10
lock AT these matters coolly ten TO one
she'll give you denial. Im an old man
and have seen tbs world, and let me tell


YOU the girl who would yield in tears. on


moonlight evening" would write 4 civil re
iusai or equivuc,.. answer the next morning


after breakfast. And then what fool a


lover makes himself on paperl | read some
old letters tho other day--the gods forgive


my sins for writing such nonsense.


'.Irs mistake, sir, IN these matters, 10


lend young folks a helping hdnd--all they


ask is to be lett alone-and il there are


any meddling youngsters about, have them


put to bed, or drowned, it don't matter a


liz which, so they're on, Of the way. Only
give Two lovers fair play, kick your match
making aunts to the deuce, and--Iny life on
/ itl--the mos; demur will find way OF be-


ing understood. even il, ike old Sir Isaac
! Newton, they have to make love with their
feet 1t may come rather odi at first, bet
they will sit looking into each others eyes
until, by and bye, their hands will some-
how steal into each other. and so. getting
cozier and cozier, the question, when they
least expect it, will pop out. like a cork
from champagne bottle. 1t will pop
Itself"


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