TRl-WEEKLY.
{"newspaper_name": "The Columbian fountain.", "edition": "01", "page": "p1", "byline": ""}
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their father. Conscious of my unpublished
gait, have for sometime past taken private
lessons of professor, who teaches grown
gentlemen to dance p and though | at first
found wondrous difficulty in the art he
taught, my knowledge of the mathematics
was of, prodgious use in teaching me the
equilibrium Of my body, and the due adjust
ment Of the centre Of gravity TO the five po-,
sitions. Having now acquired the art Of
walking without tottering, and learned to
make a bow, boldly venturoI to obey the
baroners invitation TO family dinner, not
doubling but my new requirements would
enable me to see the ladies' with tolerable
intrepidity; but, alas! how vain are all the
hopes OF theory, when unsupported by ha-
bitual practice. As ! approached the house,
a dmner-bell alarmed my fears, lest / had
spoiled the dinner, by want of punctuality
impressed with this idea, blushed the deep
est crimson, as my name was repeatedly
ann announced by the several livery servants,
who ushered me into the library, hardly
knowing what or whom saw; at my first
entrance, summoned all my fortitude, and
made my new learned bow to lady Friendly,
but, unfortunately, in bringing back my left
foot to the third position, trod upon the
gouty toe Of poor Sir Thomas, who had
followed close at my heels, to be the no.
menclator Of the family The confusion
this occasoned in me is hardly to be con
ceived, since none but bashful men can
Judge of my distress, and of that descrip-
ton the number believe is very small.
The baronet's politeness by degrees dissi-
pated my concern, and was astonished to
see how far good breeding could enable
him to suppress his feelings, and to appear
with perfect ease, after SO painful an acci-
dent.


The cheerfulness of her ladyship, and
the familiar chat of the young ladies, in
sensibly led me to throw off my reserve and
sheepishness, till at length ventured to
JOIN in conversation, and even to start fresh
subjects. The library being richly furnished
with books, in elegant bindings, j conceived
Sir Thomas to be a man of literature, and
ventured to give my opinion concerning the
several editions of Greek classics, in which
the baronet's opinion exactly coincided with
my own To this subject was led, by OBJ
serving an edition of Xenophon in sixteen
volumes, which (as had never before heard
of such thing) greatly excited my curl
osity, and rose up to examine what it
could be. Sir Thomas saw what | was
about; and, as ! supposed, willing to save
me trouble, rose to take down the book,
which made me more eager to prevent him,
and hastily laying my hand on the first vol
ume, pulled it forcibly; but 10, instead Of
books, board, which by leather and gild-
ing, had been made to look like Sixteen vol
umes, came tumbling down, and, unluckily,
pitched upon wedgewood inkstand on the
table under il. In vain did Sir Thomas as
sure me there was no harm; | saw the ink
streaming from an inaid table on the Tur-
kish carpet, and scarcely knowing what !
did, attempted to stop its progress with my
cambria handkerchief In the height of this
confusion, we were informed that dinner
was served up, and ! with Joy perceived
that the bell, which had SO alarmed nv
fears, was only the half hour dinner bell.


In walking through the hall and suit Of
apartments, TO the dining room, had time
to collect my scattered senses, and was de-
sired to take my seat between lady Friendly
and her eldest daughter at the table. Since
the fall of the wooden Xenophon, my face
had been continually burning like a fire
brand, and was just beginning to recover
myself, and to feel comfortably cool, when
an unlocked for accident rekindled all nv
heat and bushes. Having set my plate of
soup too near the edge of the table, in bow
ing to Miss Dinah, who politely compli-
mented the pattern of my waistcoat, | tum-
bled The whole scalding contents into my
lap. In spite of an immediate supply of
napkins to'wipe the surface of nv clothes,
my black silk breeches were not stout
enough to save me from the painful effects
of this sudden fermentation, and for some
minutes my legs and thighs seemed sewing
in boiling cauldron; but recollecling how
Sir Thomas had disguised his torture when
| trod upon his toe, firmly bore my pain
in silence, and sat with my legs par-boiled,
amidst the stihed giggling Of the ladies and
the servants. ..


| will not relate the several blunders
which made during the first course, or the
distress occasioned by my being desired to
carve fowl, or help to various dishes that
stood near, or spilling sauce-boat, and
knocking down salt-cellar; rather let me
hasten to the second course, "where fresh


