{"newspaper_name": "The Wilmingtonian, and Delaware advertiser.", "edition": "01", "page": "p1", "byline": ""}
{"character_count": 5363, "word_count": 879, "ccnet_language_score": [0.9696999788284302], "ccnet_perplexity": [1632.699951171875], "fasttext_language": ["en"]}
previously seen, and been familiar with,
some individuals of the paler species Of our
race; but the figure before them was nov
city altogether unimagined--an absurdity
which their constitutional gra yity could not
altogether withstand. They looked again
and again at the rotund lump of humanity
hounderng amid the oozy retirement of
fast receding tide--and as they contrasted
his awkward struggles with their own agil
'ity, his shapeess obesity of frame with their
own Apollonian limbs, considering also the
unheard of fashion of his garments. they
hooted and roared with renewed exertion
Some screamed in prolonged and hideous
cachinnatiens, others cut uncouth somersets
upon the turf or bounded hithcr and yonder
with most antic and gymnastic extravaganza:
in short, such tribe of tom -and Jerry sava-
ges never, till now, figured in the annals OF
comic barbarity.


At length, weared with these roistering
diversions, in more orderly temperament
they approached the object of their mirth,
now almost sulfocated with mre and trcp.
dation. Decming their outrageous capering
the mere signals tor his sacrifice, he buwail
ed the luscious and tempting condition of his
carcase, faneieh fire and faggots, and appre
hended instant martyrdom. His first act, as
they drew nigh, was to discharge from his
right hand the round top hat aforesaid,
which went scaling across the smooth wave
like scared goslin in fish pond. He then
planted his Dorc legs bolt upright in mass
Of soft mud-aIonve whose surface naught
Of his person remained but visage, arms. and
! abdomen. His visters halted upon the more
solid strand: thev could have riddled his hide
with scores of javelins. or pummeled his
prrlcranlum to pummice with paving
stones; but his belhgerent attitude excited
more of curiosity than Indignation. They
wished him no cvil--and as to eating such
an animal. they would sooner by far dine
upon Holsters and pumpkins.


But Derrick waxed resolute, and began,
in his despair, to spatter sundry handtulls
of filth upon and around the copper faced
spectators--whereby they were not a little
scandalized. Presently sturdy youngster
threatened to advance; when Derrick, losing
all manner of philosophy, uttered a tremen-
dous High Dutch oath, distorted his coun-
tenance into its ugliest corrugatlons, pro-
truded the fronts of his jaws 50 as to resem.
BILE the anterior edge of hard shelled clam,
and bowIed for help in a tone Of agony rem
dered doubly dismal by it's chromatic vari-
atoms. Still his principal assailant cortin-
ued to approximate, and coming within
arms length, grapplcd the Hollander' S
yncae that dangled SO formidably over his
expanded shouldcrs-Immediatel the rest
Of the tribe ranged themselves i'll single file
behind their leader, by dint of whose hold
upon Derick's cabbage stalk, they dragged
his unwieldy corporation fairly above high
water mark.


! Here the exhausted victim sunk into a
state of stupor; and, while in this condition,
his uncivl conquerors, with sharp stone


instrument, rudely sawed off the appurte-
nance by which thev had cxtrcarcti him.
and bore away the trophy ia triumph a
/ decd fraught with narrowing perpleMites,
as the sequel may manifest. Seeing them
depart, his fellow -voyagers who had watch
! ed every movement from the ship, sdventur-


ed to despatch boat to his assistance. His


red waistcoat, loomed up from the beach


like an Egyptian brick kiln, served TO de-
signate the point of their destination, which
they soon reached. Silently and eXpedi-
| tiously they conveyed the body OH four oars
to the boat, and thence to the ship. But
| Derrick awoke not, until the vessel, blessed


with propitious gales, reached the little


settlement of New Amsterdam, now 10 the


overgrown city of New York wherein /,


hath become an Object Tor Doctors. and Col
onels, and Majors daily to put forth Large


printed sheets ycleped newspapers.


| However, Mynecr Won Hoogensperg ir


due course of time came to himself aud his
uncle's executors. The latter, on comparing


his appearance with the description con


tanned in the old gentleman's bequest, posi-
lively refused to admit his CLAIMS Ont
prominent accoutrcme1t was missing! lr


vain did the unfortunate Dutchman appea


to his accompanying countrymen, Tor evil
dence that the identical club of hair, now


adtuced, actually belonged to his occiput al
their departure from Rotterdam ; in vaii


did they relate the story Of his cruel excis'


ion--for he could remember nothing thereof


in vain did he pack off messengers, will
bribes and presents, to treat with the isant


savages for the recovery of that instrument


upon which his fortune depended in vair


he swore; he sued in vain. The matter
got into law, and there it hung, as it were
by hair, term after term, until nature sup
piled him with new crop; when ne wa


enabled te snap his fingers at the lawyers
take possession of an immense estate, estab
lish diStiliery as the surest means OF re


venge upon his tawny adventures, marry


live forty years, die without progeny, ant


lie down amongst his ancestors in the gra


mite sepulchre of the Hoogenspergs. 1t ma,


be necessary to add, that the original brusl


in question, was carefully preserved as al
invaluable relic by the Indians and their de
! scendants, through four entire generations


when it was inhumed, together with numer