July
A dozen months ago I started this poetry diary project thing; I felt my feet falling and i knew i had to cling; to the only things in this world that are a part of my heart; my wife n' my kids of course but also my art; que sera sera what will be? no clue!; let the world dictate my life and my pen followed through; never lied never tried to hide what i felt i said; when it was time to cry i cried, time to bleed I bled; n' am I happy now? nope. don't use the word hope; optimism seems to slip between my fingers like soap; but something very deep in me can now see things differently; cuz now at least I know I can cope.; followed this almost scientific epic almost religiously  ; at times found myself wishing I could take this less seriously; in the midst of raw agony the search for something esthetic ; didn't come naturally sometimes I felt quite pathetic; killing the screens like I did spilling the beans like I did; remaining unshielded unprotected like a kid; on a long long journey towards youth; every step taking me both closer and farther from truth; n' am i happy now? nope. don't use the word hope; optimism seems to slip between my fingers like soap; but something very deep in me can now see things differently; cuz now at least i know i can cope.; listening closely to my baby I started thinking; how horrible it would be to not hear his tiny breath; every moment in my day contains some nothing; every instant in my life carries death; I'll never forget i had a little sister; never cease to love and miss her; have thoughts concerning her for as long as I live; imaginations contemplations various kinds of "what if..."; are destined to be part of me forever, however; time made me clever and i now realize; I've got a whole lot more than just tears in these eyes; I've got a whole lot more than just tears in my eyes; n' am I happy now? nope. don't use the word hope; optimism seems to slip between my fingers like soap; but something very deep in me does now see things differently; cuz now, I know I can cope.; a dozen months ago I started this poetry diary project thing ; I was at an all time low, hanging from very thin string; one year later- a proud father of two boys; occupied insanely with diapers and toys; I know I'm in a better place cuz shit!; life showed me it's ugliest side and I faced it; only once in a while I get weak in the knees; Tova Yael Streett rest in peace, please.; 