&lt;div class=&quot;report-text-surround&quot;&gt;
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&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width=&quot;15&quot;&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
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&lt;!-- DoseChart --&gt;
&lt;table border=&quot;2&quot; cellpadding=&quot;4&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; bordercolor=&quot;#224422&quot; class=&quot;dosechart&quot;&gt;
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		 &lt;td width=&quot;90&quot; align=&quot;right&quot;&gt;DOSE:&lt;br&gt;&lt;/td&gt;
		 &lt;td width=&quot;90&quot; class=&quot;dosechart-amount&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;  &lt;/td&gt;
		 &lt;td class=&quot;dosechart-method&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;oral&lt;/td&gt;
		 &lt;td class=&quot;dosechart-substance&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;/chemicals/lsd/&quot;&gt;LSD&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;
		 &lt;td class=&quot;dosechart-form&quot;&gt;&lt;b&gt;(blotter / tab)&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/td&gt;
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	&lt;table border=&quot;2&quot; cellpadding=&quot;4&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; bordercolor=&quot;#444455&quot; class=&quot;bodyweight&quot;&gt;
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           &lt;td width=&quot;110&quot; class=&quot;bodyweight-title&quot;&gt;BODY WEIGHT:&lt;/td&gt;
	   &lt;td width=&quot;80&quot; class=&quot;bodyweight-amount&quot;&gt;97 lb&lt;/td&gt;
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&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;!-- End DoseChart  --&gt;
&lt;!-- Start Body --&gt;
It was the last few hours of December 31st, 2017. On that same day, I had unexpectedly received an 125mcg LSD blotter from a friend of mine. Now I was in a hotel room, alone with my boyfriend (let&#x27;s call him Jacob), and eager to have my first LSD experience. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
At 11PM, he cut away a little less than one quarter of the blotter and took it. I took the remaining three quarters. I was feeling extremely happy and excited, without a trace of negative affect in my mind. Earlier that day I had been a little sick, but not then. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
The first different sensation I had was at 11:40, when I noticed Jacob&#x27;s phone looked &#x27;deep.&#x27; A few minutes later, I got up from my sitting position, and remember saying I was &#x27;feeling shorter.&#x27; All those different sensations were hilarious to me, and I couldn&#x27;t stop laughing. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
Not long afterwards, I was already feeling very different. My capacity for movement was severely impaired, and I and Jacob were lying on the bed. I felt &#x27;less conscious.&#x27; I felt very far away from reality, as if I was fading away from life — falling asleep or dying. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
My gastrointestinal system was feeling wild, and taking over my perception of the world. I felt endless loops of nausea and hunger that didn&#x27;t seem to go away, even when, after much effort, I got up from the bed to eat a tangerine. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
Near midnight, Jacob carried me to a hammock outside for us to see the fireworks. I was already experiencing some interesting visual effects — namely, seeing patterns everywhere, in the clouds, the walls, and Jacob&#x27;s hair. Most of those were several colorful Star of David, although there was much more as well. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
Jacob seemed more entertained by visuals than I was. At that moment, I was still feeling less conscious, far away from reality. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
&#x27;I am definitely experiencing negative affect,&#x27; I told Jacob, at some point, in the hammock, after the fireworks stopped. &#x27;I feel nauseated, in a Star of David-shaped way. And it&#x27;s really annoying, because I can&#x27;t vomit in a Star of David-shaped way. I also have eight dimensional hunger and I can&#x27;t eat in eight dimensions. I am not feeling good.&#x27; 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
&#x27;But,&#x27; I thought to myself, &#x27;this is really interesting. I am glad to know I am normally happy enough that I can afford to consciously inflict myself discomfort sometimes for the interestingness of it.&#x27; &lt;div class=&quot;pullquote-right1&quot;&gt;&lt;div class=&quot;pullquote-text&quot;&gt;I thought to myself, &#x27;this is really interesting. I am glad to know I am normally happy enough that I can afford to consciously inflict myself discomfort sometimes for the interestingness of it.&#x27;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
Later, I returned to the hotel room, intending on trying to vomit, and Jacob went to the pool. Upon arriving inside the room, however, I fell on the bed, and just stayed there, barely able to move. My visual field was taken over by endless loops of what was ahead of me. Any movement I tried to make seemed &#x27;infinite.&#x27; There were colorful, classically psychedelic patterns everywhere, especially if I closed my eyes. Somewhere near me, Jacob&#x27;s music was playing psychedelic music. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
&#x27;It&#x27;s okay for me to just stay here,&#x27; I thought to myself. &#x27;They won&#x27;t mind, since she put me on acid.&#x27; 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
I was briefly confused by that thought for a while. Who were &#x27;they&#x27;? There was only me and Jacob in the private hotel space, and no one could see or get near us. But my mind had a quick answer. &#x27;They — the people inside my mind. There are hundreds of them.&#x27; 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
At that moment, I felt my identity, my self, shredding into many little pieces. Suddenly, I wasn&#x27;t Mary anymore. I was only one thin layer of her self, out of the other hundreds that were observing me, including her herself, who wasn&#x27;t me — who was just the person who put me on acid, without whom I wouldn&#x27;t have been born. The layer I became had no gender identity — or perhaps leaned a little masculine. It was purely analytical, concerned with experiencing and understanding that profound experience. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
The endless loops of nausea and general gastrointestinal discomfort were still there. Still lying down, I turned my head to face the bathroom door. &#x27;There are hundreds of people inside my mind, about half of whom are Jewish. The Jewish ones won&#x27;t let me vomit.&#x27; 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
It took a long time, but eventually I was inside the bathroom, trying to vomit. It was impossible. The vomit was Star of David-shaped, it couldn&#x27;t go through my throat. I sat down on the floor at some point, and got entertained by the tiling of the wall of the bathroom. It felt infinite, as if it extended into all dimensions. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
&#x27;Don&#x27;t make yourself mad,&#x27; I thought to myself. &#x27;You&#x27;re just experiencing acute 5-HT2A receptor agonism. 5-HT2A receptor agonism, 5-HT2A receptor agonism, 5-HT2A receptor agonism.&#x27; I looked at the mirror, and experienced some gender dysphoria. The &#x27;layer&#x27; of identity I was wasn&#x27;t as feminine as the reflection I saw. I ended up returning to the bed, and just stayed there, unable to do much. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
Jacob came back from the pool. He was smiling at me. At that moment, he felt to me like a little child, who knew nothing about the profundity and importance and significance of what my mind was going through. That sensation just grew as the hours passed. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
He lay on the bed, and started touching me. But any time he tried to, I screamed &#x27;Don&#x27;t touch me! Don&#x27;t touch me!,&#x27; what was rather confusing for me. Usually, I love being touched by him, and usually, I&#x27;m a very agreeable person. &#x27;Sorry,&#x27; I said. &#x27;When you touch me, it feels infinite, and that bothers me. You should touch me finitely and absolutely, not infinitely.&#x27; 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
Jacob seemed entertained by sensorial experiences. We spent a while not talking much, just experiencing our trips. Anytime I did say something, however, during the entire trip, it was just as strange as what I said before. Jacob didn&#x27;t seem to mind, but his experience was different enough that anything he said sounded extremely normal and sober. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
As time passed, I lost more and more of my Mary identity. &#x27;I&#x27;m not who I thought I was,&#x27; I told Jacob. At some point, I nicknamed myself — or rather, who I was at the time — as &#x27;The Acidmost Layer.&#x27; I could still feel all the other layers of my identity inside me — but they weren&#x27;t being experienced, I wasn&#x27;t being them at the time. They were hundreds of people, &#x27;half of whom were Jewish, eighty-four of whom wanted infinite tangerines.&#x27; 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
The Acidmost Layer wasn&#x27;t female, and didn&#x27;t love Jacob. Those few hours during which I was &#x27;it&#x27; were the only period of time I didn&#x27;t act or feel romantically around Jacob. I didn&#x27;t feel anything for him, and I didn&#x27;t want him to touch me. I saw him as an &#x27;annoying soberperson&#x27; saying naive sober things, having annoying soberpenis needs, which I needed to attend to because Mary, who had put me on acid, loved him. Technically speaking, he was on around 30mcg of acid and having wild sensorial experiences, but as I vocalized at some point, &#x27;anyone who doesn&#x27;t have at least 300 people inside their minds is super extremely sober by my standards.&#x27; 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
We stayed on the bed without saying much, each enraptured by their own experience. I had a strong feeling of significance, importance, and profundity, as if what I was going through was the most important and meaningful thing in the world and anyone who wasn&#x27;t or hadn&#x27;t experienced it was eternally naive and ignorant. That felt strange, since the feeling of significance didn&#x27;t accompany any specific thoughts or insights. I seldom used words to think. Jacob attempted to have sex with me at some point, and I dodged him away, which is something unusual for me. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
After a while, and much effort, we went to the fancy hotel bathtub, and turned on the bubbles. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
He was enraptured by the bubbles, and I was still feeling analytical, serious, with my hand in my chin, as if I was contemplating the most important philosophical questions of the universe. &#x27;There are so many questions,&#x27; I said at some point, although I didn&#x27;t know what were those questions. &#x27;Do you have the answers, soberperson?&#x27; 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
But the things Jacob said almost all were very sober, normal, rational — relating to the real world and its events. That annoyed me somewhat, and strengthened my resolve to refer to him as &#x27;soberperson.&#x27;
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
At some point, the shape of the bubbles reminded me of Mary, the woman who&#x27;d put me on acid, without whom I wouldn&#x27;t have been born. &#x27;She loves you,&#x27; I told Jacob. &#x27;She loves you a lot. But she&#x27;s not here. That is, she&#x27;s not being experienced now. Mary exists in the future, and in the past.&#x27;
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
&#x27;I can feel her, right now, I can feel her inside my mind, remembering this moment, from the future, thousands of times. She&#x27;s remembering this moment thousands of times. I can feel it. That&#x27;s the only sense in which she exists at this moment, as someone in the future remembering this, and I can feel it very strongly.&#x27;
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
&#x27;How is Mary from the future?&#x27; Asked Jacob. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
&#x27;She&#x27;s great. She&#x27;s happy. She loves you, a lot. All the thousands of her&#x27;s. But she doesn&#x27;t exist right now.&#x27;
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
Several minutes of outward and inward silence passed, until I noticed, examining the bubbles, that my mind was less crowded with people. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
&#x27;They&#x27;re pleased with me.&#x27; I said. &#x27;The people inside my mind, I pleased them. They left me, as did the curse of the eternal Star of David nausea… but they still won&#x27;t let me sleep, I don&#x27;t think. But let&#x27;s get a spaceship and go to bed. I want to talk to the other ones.&#x27; 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
With &#x27;the other ones&#x27; I was referring to my internet friends, to whom I reported some of my experiences once we were back to the bed. I didn&#x27;t call them &#x27;them&#x27; because &#x27;them&#x27; during my trip referred exclusively to the hundreds of people inside my mind. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
After a while, I and Jacob had sex. But I was completely apathetic, still, and silent — I was The Acidmost Layer, who didn&#x27;t identity as female, didn&#x27;t like Jacob, and was only doing it out of a sense of felt obligation towards the &#x27;soberperson who is here because Mary loves him.&#x27; 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
The Acidmost Layer didn&#x27;t have love, positive affect, desire, kindness, or femininity. The Acidmost Layer was a purely analytical philosopher, and the aforementioned characteristics were things it strongly associated with Mary. 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
&#x27;I have to enjoy the most out of this while the gates to the truth are still open&#x27; I said. &#x27;They&#x27;ll close soon, for a long time, and Mary will be back.&#x27; 
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
The gates closed sooner than I expected. At about 6AM, Mary started coming back. The several people inside my mind slowly merged into one, my happiness came back strongly, as did my love and kindness. I started kissing and touching Jacob again, and eventually, we had sex. &#x27;This is amazing,&#x27; I thought. &#x27;It&#x27;s so much better to be me than The Acidmost Layer.&#x27;&lt;!-- End Body --&gt;
&lt;br&gt;&lt;br style=&quot;clear:both;&quot;&gt;


&lt;table border=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;5&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;footdata&quot;&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width=&quot;700&quot;&gt;Exp Year: 2018&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width=&quot;90&quot;&gt;ExpID: 111446&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt;Gender: Female&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt;Age at time of experience: 18&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt;Published: Feb 5, 2018&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt;Views: 1,981&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td colspan=&quot;2&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;[ &lt;a href=&quot;exp.php?ID=111446&amp;amp;format=pdf&quot; type=&quot;text/pdf&quot;&gt;View as PDF (for printing)&lt;/a&gt; ] [ &lt;a href=&quot;exp_pdf.php?ID=111446&amp;amp;format=latex&quot;&gt;View as LaTeX (for geeks)&lt;/a&gt; ]
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&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td colspan=&quot;2&quot;&gt;LSD (2) : General (1), Entities / Beings (37), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;!--  &lt;img src=&quot;/images/new.gif&quot; alt=&quot;May&quot;&gt; --&gt;
&lt;/table&gt;

&lt;/div&gt;