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&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width=&quot;15&quot;&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
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		&lt;tr&gt;
		 &lt;td width=&quot;90&quot; align=&quot;right&quot;&gt;DOSE:&lt;br&gt;&lt;/td&gt;
		 &lt;td width=&quot;90&quot; class=&quot;dosechart-amount&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;  &lt;/td&gt;
		 &lt;td class=&quot;dosechart-method&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt; &lt;/td&gt;
		 &lt;td class=&quot;dosechart-substance&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;/chemicals/lsd/&quot;&gt;LSD&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;
		 
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		 &lt;td width=&quot;90&quot; align=&quot;right&quot;&gt; &lt;/td&gt;
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		 &lt;td class=&quot;dosechart-substance&quot;&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;/chemicals/2cb/&quot;&gt;2C-B&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;
		 
		&lt;/tr&gt;
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&lt;br&gt;

	&lt;table border=&quot;2&quot; cellpadding=&quot;4&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; bordercolor=&quot;#444455&quot; class=&quot;bodyweight&quot;&gt;
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           &lt;td width=&quot;110&quot; class=&quot;bodyweight-title&quot;&gt;BODY WEIGHT:&lt;/td&gt;
	   &lt;td width=&quot;80&quot; class=&quot;bodyweight-amount&quot;&gt;108 lb&lt;/td&gt;
         &lt;/tr&gt;
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&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;
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&lt;!-- Start Body --&gt;
Warning: this report contains graphic imagery of sexual assault.
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
My previous experience with drugs has been varied, and when this experience had occurred I had used LSA, LSD, 2CB and mescaline and never had any kind of uncomfortable experience. LSD had given me a few useful insights, but nothing as difficult and life-changing as this one.
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
My mindset was generally good on the day, although I had recently begun therapy to address a sexual assault I experienced years ago, which had a huge impact on my mental health and my subsequent sexual experiences. It should really have occurred to me that perhaps this was a risky time to use psychedelics.
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
The setting for the trip was my boyfriend&#x27;s room in his shared house, let&#x27;s call him B. We were spending an evening together tripping and the plan was to take LSD and a bit of 2CB and listen to music, talk and enjoy each other&#x27;s company.
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
The evening was fairly unremarkable in that I was having the same visuals I usually seem to experience (B took on a &#x27;cobweby&#x27;, &#x27;Hallowe&#x27;eny&#x27; appearance and grew bat wings; he appeared to be smoking countless pipes, cigars and cigarettes; I kept hallucinating that I had spilled my drink, etc.) and having a wonderful time.
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
I can&#x27;t say what it was exactly that cause my mindset to change, but I was curled over hugging a cushion and all of a sudden I felt torn apart by an emotional pain so powerful that I can&#x27;t even begin to put it into words. I looked up and blood gushed from the walls and ceiling and I had what I can only describe as a flashback of my assault from the point of view of my vagina. I could vividly see the man who assaulted me kneeling over me and I felt that I was my vagina being penetrated and violated.
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
B quickly realised that something was happening to me, and began to try to talk to me. At this point B, the drugs (which I will refer to as Lucy) and I took on roles of different parts of my subconscious. B asked me questions about what was wrong, so I felt that he was the part of me that wanted to talk about the issue and try to resolve it. Lucy kept trying to distract me and &#x27;trick&#x27; me out of talking with pretty patterns and irrelevant delusions, and I was scared of talking, wanting to say things but unable to communicate. We went in circles and I tried to &#x27;trick&#x27; Lucy into believing that I said enough so that she would leave me alone and let me be, but I felt this urgency to communicate and kept repeating the phrase, &#x27;I&#x27;m only tricking myself,&#x27; which I feel is very reflective of the way I deal with the mental health professionals who try to help me. I trick them into believing I am doing well, but it&#x27;s me that suffers because my issues remain unresolved.
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
This went on for about an hour. At one point I believed that time had stopped and at another point I believed that days had past, that I had lost my mind and there were people waiting outside to take me away to a mental hospital (which actually felt like a relief at the time for some reason). One thing that I kept returning to was the deep ball of pain that ripped into every fiber of my body. I cried and moaned and felt the pain, the helplessness, powerlessness, fear of my assault and relived it again and again.
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
Feeling that pain was one of the most liberating things I have ever felt. As suddenly as the uncomfortable part of the trip had started, a wave of relief washed over me as though I had cast away a crushing burden.
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
I spent a little more time with B, and then we went to bed. After a few hours&#x27; sleep I awoke still seeing unusual colours and patterns, but feeling very emotionally fragile. The next day I awoke feeling better in myself and more positive than I have in a very long time.
&lt;br&gt;

&lt;br&gt;
Although at the time this trip was one of the most emotionally painful and draining experiences of my life, I don&#x27;t call it a &#x27;bad&#x27; trip. It was extremely uncomfortable, but it has helped me to confront issues that have been ruining my life for years. In the years since my assault, I had never once allowed myself to feel any pain at all. I believe that this experience has unlocked something in my memory and allowed me to truly begin to heal and recover.&lt;!-- End Body --&gt;
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&lt;table border=&quot;0&quot; cellpadding=&quot;5&quot; cellspacing=&quot;0&quot; class=&quot;footdata&quot;&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width=&quot;700&quot;&gt;Exp Year: 2012&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width=&quot;90&quot;&gt;ExpID: 95945&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt;Gender: Female&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt;Age at time of experience: 21&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt; &lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td&gt;Published: Apr 6, 2013&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td&gt;Views: 10,873&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td colspan=&quot;2&quot; align=&quot;center&quot;&gt;[ &lt;a href=&quot;exp.php?ID=95945&amp;amp;format=pdf&quot; type=&quot;text/pdf&quot;&gt;View as PDF (for printing)&lt;/a&gt; ] [ &lt;a href=&quot;exp_pdf.php?ID=95945&amp;amp;format=latex&quot;&gt;View as LaTeX (for geeks)&lt;/a&gt; ]
[ &lt;a href=&quot;#&quot; onclick=&quot;expChangeColors(); return false;&quot;&gt;Switch Colors&lt;/a&gt; ]
&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td colspan=&quot;2&quot;&gt;LSD (2), 2C-B (52) : Difficult Experiences (5), Sex Discussion (14), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Small Group (2-9) (17)&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;
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