The Skinny: texturally offensive cafeteria food that had probably sat in a chafing dish all day (1), low cut, faux-German, dairy maid costumes does not constitute service unless you are at a strip club (2), overall value can only be justified if you've had way too much to drink (1).\n\nHofbrauhaus is a Disneyworld-esque German-styled building close to Hard Rock Hotel. I wanted to try this place out for a while because of the charming facade outside.\n\nWe decided to head there to eat because it was in my head that it would be like a mini-trip to a sanitized Germany without the pricetag. \n\nWhen we entered, the place has the tired ambience of a hangover  complete with the loud, cacophony of a bad German folk band. Nobody was singing along with music, dancing or laughing... just downing a bunch of beer one after another.\n\nOur waitress came by and took our orders dressed to... err... impress. She soon lost interest in our table however when we told her we weren't interested in alcohol. Ordered a Diet Coke/Pepsi which was not only flat but also tasted like there was some root beer mixed in there too.\n\nI ordered the Sauerbraten which is supposed to be a roast pork dish with dumplings, vegetables and red wine sauce with red cabbage. We were surprised at how quickly the food came out of the kitchen. After we tasted our food , we knew why.\n\nThe food obviously was sitting under a heat lamp for way too long. Someone tried to disguise overly dry, salty pork with an overabundance of a lumpy, thick, red wine gravy. The dumplings were large, gummy and unappetizing. Vegetables were overcooked. The only thing that was okay on the dish was the stewed red cabbage.\n\nMy husband's schnitzel was dry and soggy. The gravy, it was swimming in, was bland. The potato salad was unpleasant, sour and overly warm.\n\nThis place is not cheap - a typical entree can be around the $20 mark - yet they do not provide you any value for your dollar given the quality of the ambience, service and food.