==The Last Time I Visit This Fucking Guitar Center==\n\n--A tragicomedy in one act by Jetta.--\n\n(The Bass Room of a Guitar Center. Jetta, an odd yet striking woman in her early twenties, peruses the assorted overpriced bass guitars and bass amplifiers. Underneath a veneer of exquisite beauty lies a hidden feeling of sadness and disappointed. Perhaps distressed, she flags down a GUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE sporting a ponytail.)\n\nGUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE \nIs there something I can help you with?\n\nJETTA\nYes, I'm looking for an upright bass.\n\nGUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE \nAn upright bass? What do you mean?\n\nJETTA\nYou know, a double bass. A classical one. Like in the picture over there.\n\n(JETTA motions to a promotional still of Jimbo Wallace, bass player of Rev. Horton Heat, holding an upright bass. It is prominently displayed on the wall.)\n\nJETTA\nLike the kind they use in rockabilly.\n\nGUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE\nOh, you mean a fretless bass. We have one right over here.\n\nJETTA\nNo, that's a fretless bass guitar. I want an upright bass. You know, they're kind've shaped like cellos. I know there isn't one in the room, I was wondering if I could special order one through you. Or just go through the website.\n\nGUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE \nUm, er, I don't know. Let me check.\n\n(GUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE exits. JETTA sends a few text messages. He returns.)\n\nGUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE\nWe don't have any of those in the back. \n\nJETTA\nCan I order one through your website? Or should I go through Musician's Friend?\n\nGUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE \nUm, I'm not sure. You could try both I guess. \n\nJETTA\nI think I'll just go to Sam Ash and see if they have one. Thanks though.\n\n(JETTA breaks eye contact, effectively ending the conversation. GUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE does not get the hint.)\n\nGUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE \nCan I help you with anything else? Maybe a new bass amp. We do have some acoustic bass guitars in the acoustic room. Would you like to look at one of those?\n\nJETTA\nNo thanks. It's not really the same, you know.\n\nGUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE\nSo what kind of music do you play?\n\nJETTA\nThe kind that you need an upright bass for.\n\nGUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE \nOh.\n\nJETTA\nExcuse me, I need to walk past you.\n\nGUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE \nWell if you need anything, my name is--\n\nJETTA\nI need you to get out of my way.\n\n(JETTA, enraged, storms off, the clicking of her heels echoing throughout the whole store. GUITAR CENTER EMPLOYEE looks around and sees a teenager playing with a brand new B.C. Rich while their parent looks on. He walks over to them as the curtain goes down.)