\"Brown Girl and Simple Boy\"\n\nSometimes people complicate simple things and screw them up. Last Friday afternoon Capriotti's reminded me of this.\n\nStory: I had gotten off work early and had skipped lunch. Already two o'clock, I was more than a tad hungry. I didn't have any food at home and I didn't feel like shopping, so I pulled into a strip mall near my home and entered Capriotti's.\n\nThere were a few people sitting on brown chairs, eating food from brown tables and staring at brown walls. A brown girl and her brown companion were eating nearby as I gave my order. Turkey and swiss on a roll with oil and vinegar.\n\nDude at counter: \"That's IT?\"\n\nMe: \"Some chips as well.\"\n\nDude: \"No, I mean the sandwich. No lettuce or tomato or peppers or mayo?\"\n\nMe: \"No.\"\n\nIncredulous and bewildered he went off to assemble my order. As he was building the sammie he called out, \"Not even any salt or pepper?\"\n\nMe: \"No thanks.\"\n\nI looked at brown girl and shrugged, giving her my semi-best smile. (Ear-to-ear with no teeth showing.) \n\nShe smiled and looked shyly downward. \n\nCounter dude wrapped up my meal, still miffed about why I wanted next to nothing on my sandwich. Truth be told, I was taking it home where I had my own mustard that I liked. He asked if I wanted a bag as I handed him money but I politely declined.\n\nOnce at home I tore off the wrapper, plunked it on a plate. I squirted some Plochman's mooseturd on the plate and ripped open two bags of Wise potato chips--one jalapeno, the other salt and vinegar. I poured a glass of milk(yeah, I still drink milk), flicked on Bloomberg and took a bite of sandwich after dipping an edge into Plochman's.\n\nFirst thing I noticed was that the turkey had been pulled from the bone and was a mixture of white and dark. Fine in my book. Second thing I noticed was that the cheese was paper thin and there were only two pieces. Not fine. Couldn't even taste it. I actually took some Swiss from my fridge and put more on. Third thing I noticed was that Counter Dude had been so obsessed with what I DIDN'T want on the sandwich that he forgot to put on what I DID want: oil and vinegar.\n\nUnbelievable.\n\nThe turkey was a bit on the dry side but not too bad. There was also a generous amount. The roll was adequate as well.\n\nWill I go back?\n\nProbably, but I'll have to babysit the sandwich assembler next time to ensure that simplicity isn't too difficult. And who knows, maybe brown girl will be there again without her little boyfriend....