Oh boy where do I begin.\n\nFirst off, my Mom and I accidently entered through the bar, which got me really excited because there is a TON of beers on draft. Being a beer LOVER my mouth started watering in anticipation of having a nice tall glass. Once we finally made it up to the front, found our party, and were seated; I opened the menu only to find to my disappointment that draft beers are $6 a pint!!! REDICULOUS! My mother seems to think I've been stuck in Tempe and Phoenix for too long but I just think $6 for a beer, is INSANE! ...so I decided to protest by getting a Root beer.\n\nI have to say, I'm not the biggest fan of pizza in the first place, so I come in a little bias. But, my cousin Zach, who was with me, LOVES pizza. I had combed over the menu and mostly out of pure inability to make a decision (extreme lack of sleep and beer after a long day of work and a movie), decided to just go in on the pizza with everyone. Nothing else on the menu seemed to appetizing and there wasn't a whole lot of people eating there either; so there was little visual or smell stimulations. We ordered the white pizza, the hot potato (which scared me, too many starches), and the Hawaiian. The white was boring, as well as the Hawaiian and both had been battered with way too much olive oil before hitting the oven. The Hot potato, which I actually thought would be disgusting, was actually not so bad...with a little Tabasco. And because we had only seen our waiter when we got our drinks, made our order, got the pizza, and paid the bill- I had to go get the Tabasco from the waiters station myself. \n\nFinally it seems I am about to get home and sleep in a pizza (soon to be heartburn) coma, as we're getting the check but it took our waiter (for some reason) about 15 minutes to process it. There are other people in the mellow mushroom but none in our general vicinity. As we're waiting I'm watching the cooks in the back (they have an open kitchen-which is a cool idea); once, twice, three times I see 3 different cooks wipe their runny ass nose down their fore-arms, just stopping before it hits their hand or glove. YIKES! Next I see a bag of store-bought pitas sitting on the counter; which makes me happy I didn't get the humus. Lastly, as our waiter finally comes out with the check, the door to the kitchen swings open to reveal what appears to be two of the wait staff publically displaying their love.\n\nPerhaps if I was a teen looking to impress some just 21's or guys who like teens, I'd hang out there. Perhaps if I had a ton of cash and didn't care how I wasted it, I'd hang out there. Perhaps, if I (for some God-forsaken reason) lived in the north valley in my pre-20's I think it was cool to hang out at a place where my fellow Gauchos (GCC) worked. But I'm not and I don't. Trust me, I LOVE me some mushrooms and I consider myself somewhat mellow, but Mellow Mushroom does not have it goin on.