Question: Are we dating for the right reasons? I find that people date to meet people that will make them "happy". Is it even possible that someone can make you happy? I'm thinking that it's not. Wouldn't it be more realistic to meet someone who you feel comfortable with enough to allow your unhappiness to come out so it can be healed? People pair off, and when their unhappiness comes out they blame the partner. Will people ever realize that relationships are not designed to make you happy, but is in fact a spiritual partnership designed to make you whole with time?\nI also believe that you attract into your life people that are on the same level of consciousness as you are, whether you see it or not. So if you want good, positive people in your life, shouldn't you be that first? What are your thoughts?

Answer: I agree with most of your sentiments.  I think that, as unpalatable as we Westerners have found arranged marriages, all things equal, relationships last longer and are ultimately more fulfilling when they are begun based upon substantial commonalities (religion, socioeconomic status and goals, philosophical approaches to life, and other deep aspects of personhood).  I have never had a relationship last or be very satisfying when it was begun based upon physical or sexual attraction, the potential for some gain, or because others thought we would be good together or should marry.\nI also do not feel that even the best relationship is likely to overcome the most profoundly hurt and unhappy people's disenchantment with life.  However, once one has begun to find her own happiness, the right partner can certainly accentuate an already positive life.  It is those relationships for which we should strive; and for no less than that should we settle.
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