Question: What do I do when my favorite brother won't have any contact with me for four years? My only sister fell off a golf cart and went into a coma.  Things were not going well so we had a family meeting and the pastor from my parents and my church came to give his support and pray.   My fav.brother  didn't approve of all the praying that we were doing.  My sister got better and now is a functioning adult with some difficulties.  He returned the Christmas presents from 4 years ago on my parents front porch.   He has not talked with us since my sister got better.  He has changed his answering machine so it is not his voice on it anymore.  He was always there for me when my other family members weren't.  I miss him so much.  I have gone to his house with my niece and no one would come to the door but we could hear someone moving around inside.  I have called, written, and visited but no response.  I love him and I want him to meet my husband and my stepson.

Answer: Send him a letter explaining how much you miss him.  Ask his forgiveness for any hurts he may have received, whether intended or not, or even known about.  The thing to remember is that people are very strange when they are stressed with family emergencies.  Also, he may be feeling guilty, or may be afraid of hearing "I told you so."  Under no circumstances should you bring up the past; let him discuss what he wants.  Additionally, if you do decide to meet with him, go alone.
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