Question: Is a man who make $19 hr. no good if he chooses when he's going to work? He  misses too many days of work, I am afraid to point it out to hi because I don't have an income either.I stay home and take care of the kids. He finds exscuses sucha as he has alot of bills such as rent, car note,etc. It doesn't bother him that he can't provide clothes and food for his family. He has the option of working two to three days of overtime per pay period in order to fix this, versus me going out and getting a job, which I don't have a solid work history and finding a good job will be tough  for me. I have our five month old that I am not ready to leave yet and three other children that are all his.  Am I being unfair? Give me your harshest and honest opinion.

Answer: Well it can be two things maybe he is just plain lazy or maybe he is depressed. Why are you afraid to say anything to him? It is up to him to support his family. He complains about the bills, but then does nothing? Sit him down and lay it out staight in front of him.\n I understand your position of being a stay at home mom, I did that for 13 years and had no work history so it was hard very very hard to get a good paying job, which I never did manage to do. What does he do with this money? $19 an hour is not that bad and heck overtime would be even better. Maybe he is depressed.  YOU are not being unfair, you are taking care of a household, that is alot of work, what does he do when not working? You say he finds excuses such as the rent and all, excuses for what, of course he has to pay those, but IF he has any ambition to get beyond just paying the rent, HE has to do more. IF you go to work he will have to babysit, because your job will be minimum wage more than likely and a babysitter will take most of it, then there is the cost of you getting to work, the clothes you will need, etc.... Is he ready to be a full time father so you can go get the jobs that he won't? I doubt it, he just sounds like he is in a rut? Encourage him, push him a little, bring up how you saw a really nice dress or something that you would like to buy for a night out? I don't know but give him some reason to work besides paying the rent? Don't let him feel like he is nothing more than a paycheck though to you, that might be how he feels already, You need to communicate with him. Listen to him with your heart and your mind. Find out what he wants to do with life and take it from there. I don't think I have been much help, but I sure do understand your position. When your infant is a bit older, maybe think about taking some college classes, don't be like I was and let my life just go in order for my husband to feel like a man. Thank goodness my second husband is a better man, who would and does give me all I could ever possibly want and/or need, and he makes half the money that yours does. Though we have no children and I am disabled and now can't work at all, life is great....Get on him, but do it with love...good luck and I will be thinking about you...take care
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