Question: Why does my husband go around telling people he is single or getting divorced or is devorced? He is ok with me and our 4 children (ages under 11). Yet he finds the need to tell lies. Why is that? Why betray us time and time again, only to come home and tell us, we are his life and he would die with out us. I think his whole life has been a lie.We never ask him for money, he never is home, and he is very gelouse of anyone that talks to me, and he has even told people to leave me alone and not to talk with me, so I have even lost close friends (hasband and wife friends, not singles) because of his green monster attaks. what kind of person is this man?

Answer: What you are describing is a man who wants to control the people in his life. He says whatever he needs to get what he wants. Abusers (batterers) are very jealous, are very effective at driving away family and friends, like to keep their women "barefoot and pregnant" (4 kids 10 and under). Often they don't really want children, but they know children will tie their women to them, keeping her dependent on him. It's hard for you to become independend if you have 4 young children "hanging onto your skirts." I'll bet he has you living a hand-to-mouth existence. (dictionary.com describes as: Having or providing only the bare essentials.)\n\nCheck out this list of questions on The National Domestic Violence Hotline site: http://www.ndvh.org/educate/abuse_quiz.html. Make sure he's not home when you do this, to protect yourself. It's probably a good idea to make sure the kids aren't around either. You need to be safe when you check it out. And delete it from your history so he can't find it either. Their phone number is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). If someone should come in when you're on their site there's a red ESCAPE button in the upper right corner that will take you to Google. It'll look like you're doing something other than seeking help in an abusive relationship. These people are trained to help women and children in your situation. They can help you find a program close to you who can help you navigate through the system.\n\nI pray you and your children will be safe, healthy and happy. God Bless!
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