Question: at my son's 1st birthday party my in-laws ignored my friends...? i am from germany so my family could'nt be here. i had most friends come by during the day and my in-laws later that same day. three of my friends that i consider family stayed when my family arrived. my in-laws completely ignored my friends, went in the kitchen instead of the living-room! i was busy cooking and caring for my son and all i could do was to be embarassed. because i do not want this to happen again i called my mother-in-law a day later and asked what could be done to change this situation since my friends will be invited again. she told me it was my responsibility as a hostess to see that everybody is interacting and i simply did it wrong! i introduced them, told them where i met them and for how long we are friends. is my mother-in-law right? did i fail as a hostess or are my in-laws simply rude? what can i do?

Answer: No, you are not a bad hostess.  If one has the luxury of hiring a cook and a babysitter for the party, then the hostess can devote herself solely to the guests, but most of us must do as you did--make introductions then try to juggle the cooking and the children.\n\nTo my mind, it's the job of family guests to make friends feel welcome--and I place in-laws in that category of family.  Your in-laws were the ones who failed by acting "clannish."  When people are insecure and refuse to interact, they are indeed being rude, but they will never admit it.  \n\nThe remedy takes a lot of time.  The in-laws simply need to see the friends enough times so that they will begin to consider them familiar faces, and hopefully then, they will be willing to accept them into the family "clan."
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