Question: has anyone got a special needs child and a really bright 2 year old? how do u find them being together? my oldest lad is 5 with s.n he has bevaour and emotional problems aswell as speech- hes only just startin to talk. my 2 year old can have a brill conversation with you telling you wot he wants for the day, wot hes done when he needs toilet etc. the 5 year old justs sits n wets himself, he used to go to the toilet but refuses to now.

Answer: My kids are different ages than yours, but I'm in a similar situation. If you are in the United States, your 5 year old should already be getting preschool or kindergarten special services. If not, get down to your public schools central office and make some noise. Bring in a letter from your doctor diagnosing developmental delay or his diagnosed psychiatric disorders. That help isn't just for him, but for you, too!\n\nMy 12-year-old has a learning disability, psychiatric disorders, and some mild physical issues. He is in a self-contained special education program (6th grader). \n\nMy 7-year-old girl is gifted (1st grader). She is reading at the 4th grade level, draws like a talented high school student, etc., and is currently awaiting the paperwork to be completed to start the school's Enrichment program.\n\nThe biggest things you have to focus on when parenting kids with such different skill levels are...\n\n1. Keep each kid separate in your mind. It is not a race between them about who develops what skill first.\n\n2. Be proud of your "slower" one for each thing he learns and each new skill he develops. Be proud of your "faster" one for each thing he learns and each new skill he develops.\n\n3. Have activities each kid does separately (e.g. scouts, sports, etc.). Have one or two that they do together. Emphasize to both of them that they are each their own person, separate and wonderful, and that you are proud of both their progress.\n\nRight now your little ones are too small, but there will come a day later on when their awareness of each other's differences is clear and thought out. That will be the time for you to have "the talk" with them... In this case, "the talk" means the one where you directly talk to each of them separately about the other's differences, and emphasize to them that they are not in a race with each other.\n\nFor mine, I did it the first time about a year ago. We just had the talk again, because my son was having an obsessive, hysterical fit, and my daughter was totally confused by it.\n\nFor the "slower" one, acknowledge to him that he, and you, both know that the "faster" one will be passing him academically and in other skills. Then start listing all the things you know about that he can do well, especially any more-complex skills (e.g. ..."You know, kiddo, you are one incredible cook, gardener, puzzle-solver..." or whatever he's good at.) Let him know that you are going to support him in whatever career field he choses. Let him know how much you love him and are proud of him for his efforts toward achieving his potential.\n\nThen get the "faster" one, and give him a serious, complete explanation about the diagnoses, special help, etc. that the "slower" one is dealing with. Emphasize to the "faster" one that you are happy he can learn so quickly, and remind him that this whole thing is not a contest with his brother. Let him know that you are going to support him in whatever career field he ends up choosing, and in exploring and finding his other interests. Let him know how much you love him and are proud of him for his efforts toward achieving his potential.\n\nHang in there!
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