Question: Here are two questions about parents' relationships with adult children:? 1) Is it "healthy" to not discuss things with your adult parents that bother you about your relationship with them?  I mean, should you just act like there are no problems and give the performance of an Oscar - winning actor/actress to keep the peace?\n\n2) If it isn't unhealthy to pretend there are no problems, what is the best way act like nothing is wrong?  Can some people not pull this off because of their personality?  I can't seem to hide my feelings very well, and I need some tips.\n\nThis is a very serious question to me, and I appreciate all SERIOUS answers. If  you are just going to be a smart elec, please don't answer.  Thanks!

Answer: Well let me start by saying that I could have written your questions. I have the same feelings as you that pertain to my parents and I am in my 40's. It is unhealthy to pretend that nothing is wrong and that your feelings dont matter, because they do!! The only advice that I can share with you is what I do myself. Since talking never gets you anywhere, stop wasting your breath....but start keeping your distance from your parents, It really will benefit you to not be around negative people and if you are questioned as to why you dont come around be honest with them and tell them exactly the reason why and until they are ready to listen to your concerns that this is the way it has to be. As for you , you might want to think about seeing a councelor to help you deal with the feelings that you have concerning your parents reactions about discussing problems. I hope one day your parents will open thier minds and listen to you but if they dont then you just have to accept the way they are and just do whats right for you, I dont suggest keeping your feelings to yourself, that only does harm to you. Good luck with this.
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