Question: Feelings about spouse prior to divorve and how you feel about it now? I am considering divorcing my wife. We have had problems for years and are in counselling for the second time. I dont feel for her the way she does for me. I am still unhappy and feel emotionally isolated in our relationship. The therapist pin pointed that we never connected emotionally ad were activity partners. I don't hate her and it bothers me to see her upset/cry. Sometimes we can even have a nice moment together on a friendly level.\n\nI'd like to hear from other who have been through divorce and how they felt about thier exs before and how they feel now.

Answer: I felt exactly as you do prior to leaving my husband.  I cared for him, but was not deep in love with him any longer due to the trouble in our marriage for such a long time that didn't seem to be changing.  He resented me terribly for leaving and then just continues to try to punish me through the kids.  But I've never been happier outside of the deceitful, devious things my ex does, to be apart from him.  I have dated since my marriage ended and am not dating currently and again I have never been happier.  My point... that you don't have to be with someone to be happy.  I understand how you feel when you say it bothers you to see her cry, but if you are not going to be able to reciprocate the love she has for you, better to let her go and find someone that will.  Her crying and pain will eventually stop.  If you have kids, think about them if you decide to split.  Do not use them as pawns to get to your spouse.  If they do, know there is nothing you can do, but to tell your kids the truth, depending on the age, and continue to let them know you love them.  In the long run they will know the truth.  My children are starting to move away from their father as when they go to visit him, he constantly says bad things about me.  I do not talk of him.  And hey he is the one with the live in girlfriend.  Ironic don't you think.  In that he is with someone, I don't care, and he is the one that pushes the kids away because he can't stop saying nasty things about me.  Good Luck to you in whatever you decide to do, it may take time, but everything will be ok.
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