often people eroticize their fears for you it sounds like giving the scary threatening scenario of being called a faggot a happy and sexy ending is a way of relieving some of your unconscious anxieties about being humiliated or assaulted for being gay youre not a bad gay youre putting your sexuality to healthy and productive use to tell fear and homophobia to literally fuck off what better revenge on the people who would call you a faggot than the knowledge that theyre inadvertently making your gay sex hotter