i would encourage you to read briefly on the life of st augustine one of our churchs greatest minds and his transformation in life also spend a bit of time on st monica his mother while i would never advise you to lower your standards for the place in life you want your spouse to be at when you meet them remember that some of the greats in catholicism also have storied pasts my advice would be to pray every day for your future spouse so that they may become the man you need them to be by the time you meet them regardless of where they are now