thats a nice theory and all but thats just not how it works in the real world calling someone a nigger is innately hurtful because its innately insensitive everyone knows that it has the potential to cause harm so using it recklessly is a harmful thing to do guns dont kill people on their own but you shouldnt wave one around in a crowd further the meaning of nigger is negative thats all its ever been its a hurtful word thats been used for decades maybe even centuries as a tool of oppression it has no other meaning no ulterior message black people use it as a way to strengthen their connection through shared experiences but that doesnt mean that its possible for a white person to say it in a positive way