you have been through a lot i agree that many of the worst homophobes are likely in denialin fear i was raised catholic i was all in thought i was gon na become a nun in jr high school and started a gradual long and painful deconversion when my sister became born again my parents never tried to force me back so im lucky there i still found it lonely not believing and not really being able to talk openly about it thanks for telling your story glad youre living your authentic life