The student was always aggressive, kicking and shouting at his classmates and teachers. When I tried to involve him in teaching, he protested. He was regularly aggressive even towards his friends and it was his only form of communication. One day the children came to class after recess and he refused to enter. His arms and legs were crossed and he just stood there. He refused to make any contact, did not respond to any invitation. I tried talking to him and gesticulating, but nothing helped. He was staring angrily, it was even visible from his stance. He was breathing hard, agitated, and his fists were clenched. He did not respond to any challenge and the other children waited in the classroom to see what would happen.
The student had family problems, major disagreements between his parents and he himself had a bad relationship with them. He was very angry with his mother. We explicitly taught him to communicate with his mother at school. In the beginning, he didn't even want to wear a jacket from her. They had absolutely no physical contact as he had a major problem with communication. He had very poor attendance. His older brother had a playstation in his room and his parents let them play until the morning without supervision. He went to school tired, had a bad diet.. lack of sleep...
Emotional outbursts
begged him to go inside. He didn't respond to me, so I left him there and just told him: "I can see from your body language that you are angry...". I described his body and how he non-verbally communicates that he is angry. I tried to bring it to him from my side and describe it to him in as much detail as possible. In our class, we try to talk about emotions and we created a so-called body language and feelings table for this. In it, we divide feelings according to colors from green, the most positive, to red, the negative color. And so I told him: "I see that you are in the red zone and it is certainly not pleasant for you or for others. How could you calm down?” I slowly put my hand on his shoulder, knelt in front of him and explained to him in a calm voice: "You need time and that's why I'll go inside and when you're ready, just look at me and if you don't come, I'll come for you." I left the door open and asked the other students if they knew what had happened. Nobody knew anything. They only mentioned that there was some kind of physical problem with football. In the meantime, I gave them a task so I could check to go. I asked him if he was ready to talk to me. He made eye contact with me, put his hands down and leaned against the wall. I said: "I can see that it is very difficult for you, but I also asked the children and no one knew. Do you think you could come to class and tell me later what happened?''At first he just came and sat by the door and watched and listened to what the other children were doing. I tried to non-violently involve him in the activity that the whole class was doing. I thanked him for trying and told him that I would also try to help him in return. But first he has to tell me what happened, because if I don't know what happened, I can't help him. I gave him 10 min. time to calm down. He stood up and said in front of the whole class that someone didn't pass him the ball during football. It touched him a lot because he was lonely. He simply had too much emotion and couldn't handle it any other way. We all thanked him.
Support, Interview, Warning
tried to explain it to him and discuss it with him. My favorite question in such situations is: "What could you try to do better next time?". I guided him to a better solution. I said that he could use more verbal communication and make peace with anyone, whether it be an adult or his classmate. Over time, he started talking first with adults and then with his peers. The process of calming him down became shorter and shorter and he was able to tell his friends on his own. The loner became a great favorite and the children waited for him to come and play with them. Basically everything changed in his life. His habits, bad sleep, he could even concentrate more. He started to talk more with his parents, he knew how to take care of himself. He was even able to change into body clothes by himself, which used to be a big problem for him and we had to put his shoes away for him. Another thing that changed was the cooperation of his parents with the teachers. We created various support plans, we tried to solve their life situation as well. Later, it also improved at home, and his parents helped him use new strategies to manage anger and stress.
N, 6r, 1. ročník
Tanec, jedlo, fubal
Bariéry v komunikaci
Bc. – asistenka pedagóga v Anglicku
Žiak bol vždy agresívny, kopal a kričal na svojich spolužiakov a aj učiteľov. Keď som sa ho snažila zapojiť do výuky, protestoval. Pravidelne bol agresívny aj voči kamarátom a bola to jeho jediná forma komunikácie. V jeden deň prišli deti po prestávke do triedy a on odmietol vojsť. Mal prekrížené ruky, nohy a iba stál. Odmietal robiť hocijaký kontakt, nereagoval ani na žiadnu výzvu. Snažila som sa na neho rozprávať a aj gestikulovať, ale nič nepomohlo. Nahnevane zazeral, dokonca to bolo vidno aj z jeho postoja. Ťažko dýchal, bol rozčúlený a mal zaťaté päste. Nereagoval na žiadnu výzvu a ostatné deti čakali v triede na to, čo sa stane.
Žiak mal rodinné problémy, veľké nezhody rodičov a sám s nimi mal zlý vzťah. Bol na svoju matku veľmi nahnevaný. Vyslovene sme ho v škole učili komunikovať s mamou. Na začiatku od nej ani nechcel obliecť bundu. Nemali absolútne žiaden fyzický kontakt, keďže mal veľký problém s komunikáciou. Mal veľmi slabú dochádzku, Jeho starší brat mal v izbe playstation a rodičia ich nechali bez dozoru do rána hrať. Chodil do školy unavený, mal zlú stravu.. nedostatok spánku...
Prosila som ho, aby šiel dovnútra. Nereagoval na mňa a tak som ho tam nechala a iba som mu povedala: „Podľa tvojej reči tela vidím, že si nahnevaný…”. Opísala som mu jeho telo a ako neverbálne komunikuje, že je nahnevaný. Snažila som sa mu to priblížiť z mojej strany a čo najpodrobnejšie mu to opísať. V našej triede sa snažíme rozprávať o emóciách a vytvorili sme si na to takzvanú tabuľku reči tela a pocitov. Pocity v nej rozdeľujeme podľa farieb od zelenej, najpozitívnejšej, po červenú, negatívnu farbu. A tak som mu povedala: „Vidím, že si v červenej zóne a určite to nie je príjemné ani pre teba, ani pre ostatných. Ako by si sa vedel ukľudniť?” Pomaly som mu položila ruku na plece, kľakla som si pred neho a kľudným hlasom mu vysvetlila: „Potrebuješ čas a preto pôjdem dovnútra a keď budeš pripravený, iba sa na mňa pozri a ak neprídeš, tak prídem za tebou ja .” Nechala som otvorené dvere a spýtala som sa ostatných žiakov, či vedia, čo sa stalo. Nikto nič nevedel. Spomenuli iba, že sa stal akýsi problém na telesnej pri futbale. Medzičasom som im dala úlohu aby som mohla ísť skontrolovať. Spýtala som sa ho, či už je pripravený sa so mnou rozprávať. Nadviazal so mnou očný kontakt, dal dole ruky a oprel sa o stenu. Povedala som: „Vidím, že je to pre teba veľmi ťažké, ale pýtala som sa aj detí a nikto nevedel. Myslíš, že by si mohol prísť do triedy a neskôr mi povedať, čo sa stalo?’’ Najskôr iba prišiel, sadol si ku dverám a pozeral a počúval, čo ostatné deti robia. Snažila som sa ho nenásilne zapojiť do aktivity, ktorú robila celá trieda. Poďakovala som sa mu, že sa snaží a povedala som mu, že sa mu ja na oplátku tiež posnažím pomôcť. Najskôr mi ale musí povedať, čo sa stalo, pretože ak neviem, čo sa stalo, nemôžem mu pomôcť. Dala som mu 10 min. čas na ukľudnenie. Postavil sa a pred celou triedou povedal, že mu niekto neprihral loptu počas futbalu. Veľmi sa ho to dotklo, pretože bol osamelý. Jednoducho mal príliš veľké emócie a nevedel to inak zvládnuť. Všetci sme mu poďakovali.
Snažila som sa mu to vysvetliť a predebatovať to s ním. Moja obľúbená otázka v takýchto situáciách je: „Čo by si mohol skúsiť urobiť nabudúce lepšie?”. Naviedla som ho na lepšie riešenie. Povedala som, že by mohol využiť skôr verbálnu komunikáciu a hocikomu sa s tým zmieriť, či už dospelému alebo jeho spolužiakovi. S odstupom času sa začal rozprávať najskôr s dospelými a potom aj so svojimi rovesníkmi. Proces jeho ukľudnenia sa čoraz viac skracoval a bol sám od seba schopný povedať to kamarátom. Zo samotára sa stal veľký obľúbenec a deti na neho čakali, aby sa s nimi šiel hrať. Zmenilo sa v jeho živote v podstate všetko. Jeho návyky, zlý spánok, vedel sa dokonca viac sústrediť. Začal sa viac rozprávať s rodičmi, vedel sa o seba sám postarať. Dokonca sa vedel sám prezliecť na telesnej, čo mu predtým robilo veľký problém a museli sme za neho odkladať aj jeho topánky. Ďalšia vec, čo sa zmenila bola spolupráca jeho rodičov s učiteľmi. Vytvorili sme rôzne plány podpory, snažili sme sa riešiť aj ich životnú situáciu. Neskôr sa to zlepšilo aj doma a rodičia mu pomáhali používať nové stratégie aj na zvládanie hnevu a stresu.